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egcdeath · 1 year

Text

clean sheet

pairing: joel miller x reader

summary: nothing stirs the pot like your ex-husband, gossipy soccer moms, and a weekend-long soccer tournament. (part two of spectator sport)

word count: 7.7k

warnings: canon divergent: no apocalypse, implied past emotional abuse, jealousy/misunderstanding, kinda angsty in the beginning but verrrry fluffy at the end, insecurities, there was only one bed, mutual pining, sarah and chloe being menaces as usual

author’s note: this past week has been extremely rough. like, ao3 author’s note apologizing for being gone rough, so i’m just as surprised as you are that i was able to write 7,000 words of a part two to spectator sport. enjoy!

part 3 / series masterlist

Tournament season was nothing short of an absolute pain in the ass. It was a pain in the ass when you were married and able to evenly split your responsibilities, and it’s even more of a pain in the ass now that your ex-husband has decided to participate minimally in all soccer related ventures.

To be completely honest, it seemed like it wasn’t just soccer ventures your ex wasn’t too enthused to partake in, as Nathan had ditched most of his fatherly duties whenever a new, younger girlfriend was in the picture. But that was neither here nor there.

Despite Nathan taking Chloe to her past few games this season—you were completely swamped with work and you had practically gotten on your knees and begged for him to take her to them—he didn’t seem to have any interest in assisting you with tournaments.

That was fine and good. You knew about the events far enough in advance to move some meetings around, block off some time, and cross your fingers and hope that nothing came up unexpectedly in the days prior to your game. Although, what you couldn’t account for was your car completely breaking down on your way back from a bagel shop the morning before you were meant to be on the road for the next three hours.

But alas, the universe had its way of kicking you when you were already down, leaving you biting back tears in the passenger seat of a tow truck as you attempted to figure out a Plan B.

“Please, Nathaniel,” you pleaded over the phone, pacing back and forth in your bedroom as you tried your absolute best to hold the last bits of your composure together.

“I’ve been at her last three games,” it was impossible to miss the sneer in his voice as if his own daughter was the biggest burden in the world. “And where have you been? It’s practically been a month.”

“Where have I been?” you laughed out of anger and at the absurdity of his words. You knew that he knew for a fact that you’d been drowning in work. “Nathaniel. You know how my work has been. Please just do this one thing for your child. It’s the fucking weekend. It’s not like you’re doing anything else.”

“It’s always work with you. You know, this is why I couldn’t be with you anymore. You were always so selfish with your time and inconsiderate with mine,” he sighed dismissively. “And for the record, Claire and I have a reservation tonight. So I am doing something else.”

It was staggering how minimized and powerless he made you feel after every interaction despite how little he actually was in your life. Every time you interacted with the man you thanked whatever forces out there that you somehow found it in yourself to leave.

You huffed and blinked away tears, hugging yourself to attempt to bring yourself some sort of comfort. After signing the papers, you told yourself you would never waste one single tear on the man again. You wouldn’t let a little argument like this change that promise.

“Can I at least borrow your car?” you sounded so meek and desperate, but you were running out of options, and with every passing minute you had less and less options.

Instead of responding, Nathan simply laughed at you before ending the call. Humiliated didn’t even begin to cover how you felt about the whole situation.

You angrily wiped away the hot tears that had slipped down your face without your permission and sighed as you evaluated what options you had left. You could take an Uber, but it would be ridiculously expensive. You could rent a car, but Chloe was bound to get stains and dirt tracked throughout the vehicle. Anything else was far too short notice.

You flopped down onto your bed and screamed into your pillow. The stress from your overfilled work week combined with an extremely inconvenient situation was taking its toll on you, but you needed to figure something out.

Maybe you could carpool with someone. Although, you weren’t sure who was still in town, as most of the families liked to leave at the ass crack of dawn. If that wasn’t enough, you weren’t exactly sure you wanted to sit in a small contained space with some of those families for a prolonged period of time.

Maybe you could ‘borrow’ Nathan’s car regardless of what he said. You were sure his new girlfriend had a car–if she was even old enough to drive one–and they could certainly take that car to their ever-important reservation tonight. Although, maybe getting a grand theft auto charge in order to make it to a soccer tournament wasn't your greatest idea.

You were deep in the eye of a brainstorm when a soft little knock rapped against your door, seconds before Chloe peeked her head in.

“Hi mom,” she greeted, completely unaware of the extent of your conundrum. “Sarah can’t find her cleats and wanted to know if she could borrow one of mine. Where do you keep my old ones?”

Joel.

Oh shit, Joel.

Joel who you’d accidentally ghosted after the promise of a date. With work and ex-spousal drama, you hadn’t even had a moment to think about the date. A knot tied in your stomach as you thought about how you’d treated him. He probably thought you were icing him out on purpose.

“They should be downstairs in the front closet under the coats,” you informed her. “You almost ready to go?”

“What does it look like?” she retorted sassily, doing a little spin for you to show off her full soccer attire.

“Alright,” you chuckled, trying to keep it together for just a while longer. “Go find those cleats.”

With that, she was off, and you were alone with just one option.

You dialed the number that you’d only texted once, and bit your lip as the phone rang out. The knot in your stomach tied and untied with each ring of the phone, nausea rattling you as you thought about all the ways he could answer. He’d probably be pissed that you were only reaching out to him now, only when you needed something from him. He’d probably tell you off, just like Nathan, and laugh at you over the phone over the mere prospect of hitching a ride with him.

After three rings, Joel finally picked up, saying your name aloud, as if he was genuinely surprised to be hearing from you.

“Joel, I’m so sorry,” you took a deep breath and attempted to hold back the wave of emotions coming over you. This stupid stressful morning. This stupid stressful month. And stupid you for leaving a good man waiting for you. A good man who was probably moments away from becoming a bad man, like every other one that seemed to appear in your life.

“My car broke down this morning and I don’t have any other way to get to the tournament. Is there any way we can carpool? I’ll literally pay you to take us. I’ll drive Sarah to school for the rest of the school year. Hell, I’ll take her to games too. Just… please.” It felt like you were talking a million miles a minute.

“Hey, take a breath,” he said, clearly picking up on the frantic energy you were radiating through the phone. “We’re heading out in about twenty minutes. We’ll swing by your place. And don’t worry about all that other stuff, okay? Just take a big breath. I’ll see you soon.”

You were flooded with relief as you spoke your gratitude and hung up. It almost felt odd to not have someone go off on you for waiting so last minute to reach out for help, or for not reaching out to them after you said that you would. You were puzzled, and not completely sure what you did to deserve someone like Joel in your life, but you were grateful to have him regardless. Especially now that he was coming to save the day.

Sure enough, around twenty minutes later, a pickup truck arrived in front of your house, and Chloe was sprinting to go sit with her friend in the backseat, still overjoyed from the news that she would be traveling with her friend.

Timidly, you entered the car, still anticipating a stern lecture or even a scolding for being a shitty mom, and an even worse potential partner. “I really can’t thank you enough for this, Joel,” you expressed before he had the chance to speak, hoping that if you expressed your gratitude before he had the chance to yell at you, the blow would be lessened. You kept your eyes down as you sat down and set your overnight bag in front of you.

“Of course. You know, I still owe you a favor after that dinner fiasco,” he glanced over at you and smiled, and some of that fear you had been holding onto began to melt away. Although, you blanched at the mention of the date that you were meant to go on, but hadn’t had the chance to do so. Yet, there didn’t seem to be any malice behind Joel’s words.

“I guess we’re even?” you offered, looking over at the man to attempt to read him as he slung his arm around the back of the headrest and looked through the rearview mirror as he pulled out.

“Yeah,” he said shortly, almost… dejectedly? Maybe you were reading into it too much. After all, his attention was split between you and getting out of your driveway safely.

Regardless of what anyone was feeling, your journey began with the girls in the back chatting amongst themselves and a slightly weighted silence between the two of you in the front while the sound of radio filled in for the lack of conversation between you and Joel.

You spent the majority of the ride looking out your window, deep in thought. You tried not to let Nathan get under your skin all that often, but maybe he was right about the way you spent your time. You’d practically thrown away your shot at any relationship with the man next to you, simply because you were too busy and forgot about a promise you’d made.

You tried to focus on the excited chatter in the seat behind you, and less on the venomous words Nathan had given you over the years, but it was a difficult task. Paired with the fact that you were still waiting for the shoe to drop and Joel to go off on you, it wasn’t the most pleasant time.

After about an hour of driving (and in your case, brooding), you had to make a stop at the gas station, as the truck was running low on fuel. You reached for your wallet and grabbed a twenty dollar bill, then passed it back to the girls behind you. “Go get some snacks for us?”

“Of course!” Chloe cheered, hopping out of the car and racing Sarah into the entrance of the gas station.

Joel was definitely going to go off on you now that the kids were gone. You held your breath as you got out of the car, leaning against the hood of the vehicle as Joel stood by the pump, his eyes fixed on his vehicle.

“I can’t tell you just how sorry I am. About not reaching out to you to go out sometime, and for having to ask you so last minute to take us to the tournament. I’ve just been absolutely swamped with work, and Natha-“

“You’re fine,” Joel cut you off as he acknowledged your apology, keeping his gaze trained on the car. Here it comes. “You don’t need to apologize. Sometimes life just throws a bunch of shit at us at once.”

You nodded in agreement, your breathing picking up as you waited for the condescension or lecture to begin. Yet… it never came. You weren’t sure if he was as upset as you suspected, but Joel was certainly feeling more than he was willing to let on. The lack of eye contact and his slightly off responses told you that much.

“Is everything okay?” you finally asked, trailing off. “You’ve barely said a word all trip.”

“Everything is fine. I’m just tired,” he rubbed his forehead with his hand.

“Well, if you’re tired, I can drive us the rest of the way over and you can sleep. That way you’ll be rested for the game,” you offered, taking a daring step towards him, and setting your hand on his bicep—a peace treaty of sorts. And maybe a hint that you were still interested in whatever sparks had been evident before.

Joel immediately stiffened under your touch, and subtly rejected the motion. He glanced over at you for just a moment before looking back down at the gas pump and shut his eyes. “That’d be great. I’m really exhausted.”

While you could believe that maybe Joel was just tired, there had to be more to the story. The way he rejected your subtle touch and the way he just couldn’t seem to meet your eyes told you that much. Perhaps you underestimated just how hurt he was by you not making plans with him, although it wasn’t like he’d reached out to you to set something up. In fact, the last time you heard from him was the night before the girls’ game following their team dinner.

“Of course. Go ahead and get back in the car, I can take everything from here.”

The rest of the ride wasn’t too long, but you were happy to contribute after asking for such a last minute favor. You drove straight to the grounds that the team was playing on that afternoon, as you were already pushing it on time, and certainly did not have time to go check into your hotel yet.

Your kids jogged off to greet their team and warm up with them, leaving you alone with Joel once again as you grabbed fold-out chairs from the back of his truck.

“You feeling any better now after sleeping?” you asked, turning to look at him and inspect his face for any suspicious expressions.

“Yeah, definitely,” he affirmed, but his words didn’t exactly match what it was you had observed. He closed his trunk and began to walk away, and you followed after him, feeling a bit like a lost puppy.

“Joel, really. You can tell me what’s wrong,” you practically pleaded, part of you still waiting for the moment he would tell you off.

“I already told you,” his tone was defensive, and when he turned back to look at you, the agitation was clearly painted on his face. “Nothing is wrong.”

You were taken aback, but understood that you had crossed some sort of boundary in your continuous pressing of what was wrong. You felt more like a kicked puppy than a lost one as you walked out to the fields behind Joel, setting your chair up close to him, but with a little more distance between the two of you than what you would have preferred.

You didn’t talk much during the game, outside of cheering for your daughters and momentarily celebrating when one of them pulled something impressive off.

Although you didn’t interact much, it still felt nice to be back at a game after being gone for the past few weeks. And honestly, it felt even more nice to be back in Joel’s presence after those weeks, even if it was clear that something had shifted between the two of you.

When the second game began, you were surprised to come back from your short leg-stretch walk to find another chair placed next to Joel’s—and a woman happily chatting his ear off.

A pang of jealousy struck your gut as you observed the two of them. It was no secret that most of the moms (and some of the dads) on the team (and other teams) saw the same things in Joel that you did. But you had absolutely no right to feel jealous, considering the way you’d basically led him on, and you had absolutely no reason to believe that there was anything romantic going on between them.

But you felt unwell anyway.

You urged yourself not to look at them for too long, instead focusing on the game in front of you, but the sounds of their voices and the way their conversation easily flowed was far too distracting. Just the rotten cherry on top of an already shitty day.

You felt ridiculous and childish sitting there with jealousy burning deeply in your stomach as you mentally ran through all of the things you could have done differently. Maybe if you’d texted Joel the night of your dinner and found a day where you both weren’t busy to go out together, or if you’d just said no to taking on a few extra hours, you’d be the one giggling and playing with your hair as you chatted up Joel.

It was official: you couldn’t torture yourself with staying one more moment with the two of them. Instead, you shot out of your uncomfortable little chair, and hauled your jealous little ass over to the concession stand. If you couldn’t go back in time and fix all the mistakes you’d made leading up to today, at least you could stuff your face full of peanut M&Ms until you felt better.

As you focused on tearing the yellow plastic with a little more force than what was necessary, you completely missed Alice—one of the more gossipy mothers on the team—approaching you.

“Hey babe,” she greeted cheerily. “We haven’t seen you in a few weeks. Where’ve you been?”

Your mouth was currently filled with candy, so it took you a second to respond. “Work,” you said in between chewing. “I barely had time to breathe, let alone bring Chloe to her games, so I had to basically beg on my knees for a little help from her father. Speaking of which, how was Nathan?”

“Oh,” Alice paused and looked off to the side, a little too guiltily for your liking. “Yeah, he was fine.”

“Are you sure?” you asked, brows furrowed at her strange reaction.

“Yeah! He was great. It’s just…” she trailed off and offered you an awkward smile. “We thought you two were maybe back together. You know, with the whole co-parenting thing.”

Your eye twitched. So the parents of the team were gossiping and theorizing about your love life. Great. That’s probably what was wrong with Joel—word had gotten back to him that you and Nathan were playing house again. No wonder he was putting such distance between you.

“Babe,” you tried not to let the annoyance you were experiencing reflect too much into your tone, “why would you tell people we were back together? Bringing your own child to their sports events is not exactly groundbreaking or relationship material.”

You were now gritting your teeth as the irritation really started to sink in. Joel probably didn’t reach out to you for your date since these fucking real housewives you were surrounded by had decided to spread baseless rumors about you from the moment your ex had stepped onto the sideline.

You were wrong. This was the rotten cherry on top of the absolute dogshit milkshake of a day you’d had.

“I’m sorry,” Alice didn’t sound as remorseful as you wish she did. You knew that deep down, she was enjoying this little game and would be more than happy to spread this information back to her friends. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“It’s fine, the damage is done,” you sighed, shoving a handful of candy in your mouth.

“Have you seen Joel and Cindy, though? They’re so cute together!”

It was now clearer than ever that Alice was only interacting with you to stir the pot, so you simply put on the best fake smile you could muster and nodded. “Adorable. Now if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go sit back down. I haven’t seen Chloe play in a few weeks, and she was doing so well in the last game, I’m sure she’s doing great now too!”

You didn’t wait for a response before walking off, attempting to suppress all of the feelings you were having with this new information you’d been given. In the three weeks you’d been gone, Alice had convinced the team that you and Nathan were back together, and Joel had already moved on. If you hadn’t cared so much about Chloe’s passions, you would’ve had her quit on the spot. You simply could not handle any more of this soccer parent culture.

Sitting back down in your seat, you offered Joel an M&M, to which he politely declined. You wondered if there was a way for you to casually explain that you and Nathan were not and would not ever be an item again, but then again, it seemed like with Cindy in the picture, the ship of making anything work with you two had sailed.

You attempted to focus on your daughter, who unsurprisingly was doing quite well in the game. You were glad that no matter how shitty your day was turning out, your kin was at least having a better day—and having fun doing it.

You simply went through the motions through the rest of the day, squeezing your daughter tight with a hug when all of the games for the day were finished and telling Sarah about how great of a job she did, then falling back into a somewhat uncomfortable silence on your drive to the hotel.

Checking in had proved to be… a bit of an odd situation. As you pocketed your room keys, Chloe made an odd offer—her and Sarah would share a room while you and Joel would share your own.

It shouldn’t have surprised you as much as it did when your daughters proposed that you and Joel share a room so that they could have a sleepover, but it caught you off guard regardless.

You were hesitant for several obvious reasons, but their room was adjoined to yours, and there was a perfectly nice pull-out bed in the sofa, which meant there was absolutely no need to share a bed with Joel. After some consideration and discussion with the man who would be your roommate for the night, you ultimately settled on allowing it. You would take the sofa. Joel would take the bed.

Besides, it’s not like he’d be spending the majority of the night in the room. After a short conversation, he was getting dressed and going off to dinner with Cindy.

You tried not to feel bad for yourself for too long. You’d already spent the majority of the day feeling bad for yourself, whether it was for the shitty situations you found yourself in, or the way the moms on your team treated your love life like their favorite reality show.

Knocking on the door adjacent to your own, you were happy to see Chloe crack open her door.

“Hi girls,” you greeted. “What do you say to a pajama party?”

“Yes!” Chloe squealed, swinging her door wide open. Conveniently, they were already dressed the part, and were seemingly ready to wind down after a long day of physical activity.

After ordering an absurd amount of room service and having nothing short of a feast with your favorite pre-teens, the three of you sat on the floor under a blanket fort you’d constructed as you played Uno with some random network romcom playing in the background.

It felt like after a long day of holding your breath, you could finally let go of it, winding down with your two favorite children.

“Do you feel like you had a good day today?” you asked, placing a green three on top of the pile of cards.

“Yeah! I missed having you and my dad together at our games,” Sarah remarked, drawing a card.

Chloe nodded in agreement, setting down one of her own cards. “You really spice up our games. I think Joel yells a little louder at us when you’re here. He was pretty quiet when dad was bringing me.”

You tried not to let your emotions show on your face too much in front of the children, but it was undeniably sweet that you being around brightened Joel’s light, even now, when things were a little more awkward between the two of you. You simply hummed as you set down your card.

“Yeah, he kept asking me if I knew where you were,” Sarah drew a card then placed the card back down on the pile. “I think he missed you.”

So maybe Joel wasn’t as mad at you as you thought he was. Asking where you were had to be a good sign, right? Maybe it really just boiled down to him thinking you were back together with your ex-husband, and him not wanting to cross any boundaries.

“I think you’re our good luck charm. Did you see how well we played today?” Chloe asked, discarding a card. “Uno.”

“I think you guys are just good,” you set down a card. “Uno.”

“I dunno, when you were gone we kept losing,” Sarah set down a skip, causing Chloe to exclaim in frustration.

“Our friendship is over,” Chloe announced to Sarah for what must’ve been the third time that night.

“Mean it this time?” she teased.

“I swear!” the pair broke out into giggles as you set down your final card.

“We need to team up on you! How is it that you keep winning?” Sarah asked, pointing an accusatory finger at you.

“She’s a dirty cheater,” Chloe tutted. “Just ask her why we don’t play Monopoly anymore. Right, mom?”

“Hey!” you exclaimed. “It was a rough patch. I keep winning Uno because you two keep targeting each other. What happened to team work?”

“No such thing in Uno,” Sarah shrugged.

You laughed aloud, feeling some of your stress melting away with the motion, “you guys are too funny.”

Chloe yawned and reached for the pile in the middle of your little circle. “You can’t compliment your way out of this, cheater.”

“Ugh, whatever. I didn’t realize I raised such a sore loser.”

“Takes one to know one!” Chloe jeered.

“Sure,” you chuckled. “Well, I think it's this cheater’s bedtime. Can I help you guys undo the pillow fort?”

The girls agreed, and you helped take down the mess of blankets, chairs, and pillows as they began to wind down and settle into bed.

“Goodnight, girls,” you bid farewell as you approached the adjoining door. “If you need anything, just come on over, okay? Sweet dreams,” you blew kisses to both of them before going back over to your side of the room.

When you made it back to your room, Joel was already in bed, the soft light of the television illuminating his face in the otherwise dark room. The light from the screen and his pajamas were doing him all sorts of favors, making him look like he walked straight out of your domestic fantasy.

“When did you get back?” you asked as you grabbed your phone charger from your bag and approached the pull-out bed.

“Like, an hour ago,” he shrugged, leaning back against the headboard.

“You should’ve come over and played Uno with us,” you suggested, attempting to get cozy in your makeshift bed as you pulled the threadbare hotel blanket over your legs. “We had a little fort and everything.”

“Didn’t wanna intrude on your girls’ night,” he mumbled sleepily, hugging a pillow as he adjusted himself in bed.

“We would’ve been happy to have you,” you muttered, trying your best to relax in the rather uncomfortable makeshift bed.

Joel simply grunted in response, his eyes now shut. You could only assume that sleep set in quickly, and you’d now lost him to dreamland.

You stared up at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. Part of you wished that this whole day was just an awful dream, and that you’d wake up the morning after the team dinner at Joel’s house, able to do everything all over again.

Rolling onto your side, you hoped that the shitty pull-out bed would become even slightly more comfortable, but your hope was to no avail. You sighed softly and closed your eyes, wondering if you started counting sheep, if it’d be any easier to fall asleep.

About fifteen sheep in, Joel’s soft voice calling your name pulled you out of whatever sleepy daze you’d been in.

“Hey, are you sleeping yet?” he practically whispered.

“No,” you responded, voice far above a whisper. “The floor would probably be more comfortable than this.”

“I told you you shouldn’t have taken the pull-out bed,” he goaded.

“You wanna get down here and sleep on it for me?”

“No. Well… Would it help you sleep better?”

“Joel,” you huffed.

“I shouldn’t have asked,” you listened as the bedsheets began to rustle.

“No, no, don’t do that. Your body needs an actual bed after all that hard manual labor you do. Lay back down.”

“Not if you can’t fall asleep because of that shitty bed. Trust me, I’ve slept in worse conditions.”

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Now I’m going to sleep. Goodnight.”

Joel paused for a second, and you assumed he’d finally given up. Good.

Until he called your name once again. “Come up here and get a good night’s rest.”

“No,” you argued, though your sleepy brain was practically begging you to move to the comfier location. “You need it more than me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You snickered, “whatever you want it to mean.”

Silence on his end once again. Time to start herding your sheep.

“Why don’t we just share? There’s probably room for three of me on this bed.”

A bold proposition from a man who got back from a date only a few hours ago. A bold proposition that you were probably a bit too enthusiastic to take.

“Fine,” you huffed. “Only to get you off my ass.”

Every part of your body was thanking you as you slipped out of the shitty couch-bed and padded over to the empty side of the real bed. Tentatively, you got in bed and under the sheets, making sure to keep yourself on your side and keeping your back facing his.

“Goodnight, Joel.” you finally whispered.

“Goodnight,” he softly said your name, and you imagined the look on his face. Maybe in a different world, one where you’d gone on a date with him when the offer was on the table, you’d be in bed with him without the argument, with his arm wrapped around your waist as he wrapped you in a warm embrace, or with him hovering above you as you attempted to keep quiet in a hotel filled with guests who were more than willing to speculate about you.

It was nice to have someone in bed with you again. Even if all you had was the heat radiating off of the man next to you, and the sound of his deep breaths as he fell deeper and deeper into sleep. Despite all that had gone wrong in the day, and whatever Joel’s situation was with his date, somehow laying in bed with someone else made you feel at ease.

You didn’t have to count any more sheep to fall asleep that night.

When you woke up, Joel was already out of bed, pulling on a hat and slipping on his shoes. “Oh good, you’re awake,” he commented as you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. “Wanna get complimentary breakfast before it goes away?”

You stretched out as you listened to the proposition, wondering if the phantom feeling of an arm around your waist during the night was real or just a dream. “You know me so well.”

Somehow, the tension between the two of you didn’t feel so heavy that morning. Maybe sleeping in bed together had helped to break the ice, or maybe some other variable was at play. Regardless, you were happy to feel like your relationship had gone back to what it had been a month ago, even if Joel really was beginning to form something with Cindy.

The hotel lobby wasn’t too busy when you and Joel went down. You were certainly grateful, as the fact that you had just rolled out of bed and gone to breakfast was more than obvious to anyone who’d looked at you for more than two seconds.

You were stirring endless circles into your coffee when Joel sat down across from you, sighing as he leaned back into his chair.

“Sleep well?” he asked before taking a hearty sip of his own coffee.

You held back a laugh and exchanged it for the slightest hint of a smile. If only he knew just how well you slept. “I guess,” you admitted. “I always sleep well in hotel beds.”

You were completely uncertain of how to address the bed-sized elephant in the room, or if it was even a good idea to do so. But the lack of coffee in your system and the remnants of sleep clouding your brain had lowered your inhibitions significantly, causing the next words to tumble out of your mouth.

“Thank you for letting me join you,” you involuntarily held your breath after saying so, too afraid to openly wait for his reaction.

“Of course,” he hummed, beginning to stab at some of the food on his plate. “I couldn’t just let you break your back on that couch-bed.”

“Well I appreciate it,” you began to pick at some of your own food, the two of you falling into a far more comfortable silence. Obviously something had shifted between the time of the game and now, but you couldn’t quite place it. Since you were already in the mood to address elephants in the room, you had no issue blurting, “How was your date last night?”

“Date?” Joel looked up from his scrambled eggs with a furrowed brow.

“With Cindy? From the other team?” you took a bite of toast and didn’t back down from the loaded eye contact going on between the two of you.

“Well, it wasn’t a date. Cindy’s married. Happily, I might add. Just catching up with a family friend.”

You were slightly taken aback, but not necessarily in a bad way. Suddenly, you felt silly for all the energy you’d wasted the day prior feeling jealous and bad for yourself, when you didn’t even know the full story.

“Well, what about Nathan? Is he a family friend?” it came out defensive, and you couldn’t particularly blame him for it. Finally some proof that this was what that weird tension had been all about.

Maybe if your mind was slightly more clear, you’d find it cute that you were both a little jealous over each other. Maybe you really hadn’t thrown away your chance at this thing the way you’d thought you did.

“No! I told you, I’ve been swamped with work. Like, getting home so late that I only see Chloe in the mornings and when I tuck her into bed, late. She needed to go to her games, and I knew there was only one person I could possibly guilt trip into bringing her. But I would rather marry the actual incarnation of Satan himself before spending another day with her father.”

“Oh,” Joel said quietly, lifting his disposable cup to his lips and seeming rather deep in thought.

“But you thought I was with him this whole time?”

“I guess?”

“And you still invited me into your bed?” you pressed, a hint of amusement in your voice.

“There was nothing inherently romantic or… sexual about that. I just didn’t want you to wake up in pain,” he set down his cup, but continued staring you down.

You shrugged. Solid answer, although you certainly wouldn’t be opposed to either alternative scenarios.

“But even if there was, it’s only because you deserve better than that man. And from what I’ve seen, pretty much any man is better than him.”

“Including you?” you pressed.

“What do you think?” the little smirk he was obviously trying to fight only egged you on.

“I think I agree with you. Except, I don’t love that you just assumed something about my relationship status because one of those human rumor mills told you it. Next time, you wait until you hear it from me, okay?”

“I normally would’ve, I guess I’m just so used to things not working out with me, my brain was just looking for a reason why this wouldn’t work out either.”

“To be fair, not contacting you after saying I’d go out with you is pretty solid grounds for thinking we wouldn’t work out. But at least let me take you on a date before we try to figure out if we’ll work out or not.”

“You still want to go on that date?” Joel asked, sounding more astonished than you would’ve expected.

“What do you think?” you winked, tossing his words right back at him.

Just as your exchange began to wrap up, you were joined by two sleepy kids, who most certainly heard part of your conversation about going on a date. You couldn’t even bother with feeling mortified, too high on the knowledge that you had yet another shot with Joel.

“How was your sleepover?” you asked the girls without missing a beat.

“Fun. We missed you, though,” Chloe sighed as she buttered up a bagel.

“Yeah, Uno’s not the same without you,” Sarah added as she began to cut up her pancakes.

“I’m flattered, girls. We’ll have to have an Uno tournament sometime and get Joel on it too. Mostly so he can witness me beating everyone’s ass at it.”

“Language, mom. And we all know you’re a cheater.”

“Keep telling yourself that, sweetie.”

“I don’t know, I kinda believe it,” Joel teased.

“Not you too, Joel! You’re supposed to be on my side,” you laughed.

Your table fell into comfortable conversation for the rest of breakfast before you had to send the girls off to go get ready for their games. You almost wanted to pinch yourself to check if you were still dreaming after waking up in this domestic paradise following the terrible day you’d had yesterday, but even if it was a dream, you weren’t sure you wanted to wake up.

The rest of the tournament went smoothly, with the ice sufficiently broken between you and Joel, and you even joining in on his conversations with Cindy as the three of you sat together. The girls’ team ultimately won, leading to some very happy passengers as you drove back home. As you exited Joel’s car, you gave him a soft kiss on the cheek and a whispered promise of going out with him soon. To think, when you’d started your weekend, you never would have believed it would end in this manner.

——

“Mom, hurry!” Chloe yelled up the stairs at you, sounding a little more impatient than what you would’ve liked.

You could understand where she was coming from. Following the end of the soccer season, Joel had been quite busy, and Chloe hadn’t been able to see her closest friend outside of school hours for quite some time. If you were Chloe, you’d probably be anxious to see Sarah too.

Hurrying down the stairs with a newfound sense of urgency, you gave your daughter a little side hug.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” you apologized, understanding her urgency a little too well.

“Don’t be sorry. Just be efficient,” she pulled away from you and checked out your clothing. Sure, it was 6 PM and you were already in your pajamas. Sue you for wanting to come back home after a long day at work and put on your softest cat-printed pajama pants. “That’s a good outfit.”

“Oh, thank you. I was actually invited to Paris Fashion Week, but-“

“You can tell me in the car!” she exclaimed as she scurried off, with you following behind the little slippery bastard.

In the car, Chloe seemed to be acting a little… suspicious. Although, you didn’t pay much mind to it, making small talk on the short drive over to her friend’s house. Her friend whose father you still hadn’t found time to go out with.

“Oh yeah, being here reminded me that Joel had something to tell you,” Chloe announced as you pulled into their driveway. “Come in with me?”

By now, you were slightly suspicious, but the idea of having some sort of confrontation by Joel about you not following through on your word once again overrode your suspicions of your child.

As Chloe rang the doorbell, Sarah swung the door open, smiling at her friend, then up at you.

“Hi, come on in!” she said sweetly, opening the door all the way and leading you inside.

As you walked in, your eyes caught on a makeshift pillow fort—one that oddly resembled the one you’d helped the girls make during their tournament. Cute.

“My dad’s inside. He wants to talk to you. See you later, bye!” Sarah talked quickly, and even quicker than her speech, she disappeared up the stairs with your daughter.

Something was definitely up.

You approached the fort with trepidation, and slowly pulled up a flap, where you found Joel dressed similarly to you in a loose shirt and plaid pajama pants, comfortably splayed out on his back while he seemed to be playing Candy Crush on his phone.

“Oh, hey,” you said awkwardly. “The girls said you wanted to talk to me?”

“Oh, hey,” he parroted back, seeming even more taken aback by your presence as he immediately sat up. “Uh, I actually didn’t know you were coming over?”

Oh.

It was always something with your kids. They knew how to scheme, and they knew how to scheme well.

“That’s fine,” you laughed to yourself about the situation. “I was gonna head out anyway. It was good to see you, and for the record, you clean up pretty well,” you teased, alluding to your similar mid-evening pajamas.

“Wait!” he said quickly, nearly cutting you off. “Sorry, wait. Don’t go yet. Unless you have somewhere else to be…?”

You shook your head and shrugged.

“I mean, obviously our kids set us up again, but we also haven’t followed through on that date yet. So maybe we can do it now?”

“Maybe,” you hummed as you sat down next to him on a mountain of pillows. “What would you want to do?” you asked, gently tapping his leg with your fuzzy-sock clad foot. (Chloe didn’t need to know that what was taking you so long was finding these god-forsaken socks.)

“Well, I’ve been wanting to take you out to some snobby, fancy restaurant,” he began.

“Oh?” you voiced, brows raised.

“But I don’t really think that’s either of our speeds.”

“Agreed. I don’t know where you’re going with this, but I’m liking it so far.”

“We also probably shouldn’t leave the girls home alone at night,” he continued to think out loud, his soft eyes never leaving your own. You almost felt like you were caught in a trance by them.

“So what do you suggest we do, Joel?” you asked.

“Well, we have this wonderful pillow fort already at our disposal. Maybe we can order some food and watch a movie?”

“I think sitting in a pillow fort while eating food and watching a movie is my love language. That sounds lovely.”

You two smiled at each other, and you could hear your heartbeat pound in your ears as a warm feeling filled your chest. It had been far too long since you’d felt any semblance of this feeling.

An abundance of Thai food and an argument over what movie to watch later, you were curled up like a cat beside Joel admiring the look of his face under the lighting of the fairy lights that were hung up throughout the little fort.

“Ugh, why haven’t we done this sooner?” you asked, lifting your head out of the dip of his shoulder.

“We’re both too busy,” he murmured, looking away from the television screen to look over at you.

“I’ll literally take sick time off just to do this again,” you remarked.

“I think that’s just the Thai food talking.”

“It was fucking amazing.”

“Told you.”

“But it’s not just the Thai food. I really like you a lot, Joel. I like spending time with you. I like talking to you and arguing about whether a shitty romcom or shitty action movie is better. I like doing mundane shit with you, like putting up fairy lights in a fort to enhance our ‘fort experience’. I like cuddling with you. Has anyone ever told you that you’re basically a human furnace? Anyway, I hate the fact that our daughters had to make an elaborate scheme just to get us together. I wanna make more time for you, because you deserve it. But like, only if you also wanna spend more time with me,” you confessed.

“Of course I want to spend more time with you. And in the spirit of honesty, I really do have the time, sometimes. I guess I just worry that you wouldn’t want to spend your free time with me.”

“Joel, I would sit and watch paint dry on a wall if you were there with me. From the moment you entered my life, you’ve made everything a little better. If I have the time, I’m never gonna say no to being with you.”

He paused for a moment as he seemed to process that information, only coming back with a quiet, “Can I kiss you?”

You grabbed his cheeks and kissed him like no one you’d ever kissed before. It felt like the Fourth of July in your stomach as a moment you felt you’d been waiting for all your life finally came to fruition.

By the time you pulled away, you were breathless and felt warm all over. You could go out on a limb and say that as far as dates go, this one was pretty successful, and to think, if it wasn’t for your daughters’ intervention, none of this would’ve happened.

Yeah, you definitely needed to treat them to something.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us hbo #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller imagine #soccer parents au

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elliezato · 1 month

Text

❀˙⋆Summer With You⋆˙❀

Pairing: Ellie x Reader

-Modern au!

Summary: You and your friends decide to rent out a cabin on the beach over the summer. This was your last summer before leaving for college, so you wanted to make it memorable. This summer was going to be perfect. You spent your days in the water, taking In the moments in the sun with your friends.

It didn't take long for you to realize your feelings for your best friend Ellie.

The way her wet hair drips down her shoulders as she gets out of the water. The way her fingers strum the guitar as you gather around the fire. The way the stars light her eyes during late night swims. The way her smile grows when she’s with her girlfriend… It's all too much.

Will these feelings ruin your friendship and the whole summer? What will happen when it's time to leave Ellie behind for college?

Word Count: 4.4k

⋆˚✿˖°

a/n: Im back!! I've been in the summer mood recently and I just need to be laying out by the lake rn. I recently read "SYNS" by carmellie and was inspired to make this! I've really been wanting to write a slow burn, angst fic so I hope this turns out good.

I will probably split this story into a few parts depending on how long I want this to be.

This will be my first real fic because honestly I've only written smut in the past and I'm not sure if I like writing stuff like that. I might add a little bit of it every now and then in my stories but it's not something I want to continue to write.

Anyway, I'm super exited for this story! Please give me ideas for future chapters! I love to hear feedback on how to improve or what you guys like.

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Packing your bag was the only thing you weren't looking forward to doing on this trip. You always over packed and struggled to fit everything in your bags. Clothes and shoes were thrown all over your room as you pick out what you should pack. This trip is going to be 2 months long so you need enough clothes to last through the summer but not too much that your car will be over flowing.

"Eww, do not bring that" Dina says in disgust as you hold up an old one piece bathing suit from freshmen year.

You knew she was right, but you didn't have many options when It came to bathing suits. You packed it anyway, along with some other suits from the previous summer. The sun shined through your window, lighting up the room. It was almost noon and you needed to leave soon. The drive to the cabin would take the majority of the day so there wasn't much time to waste.

Dina helped you load your car with your bags. There wasn't a lot of room in the trunk but you two made it work. You slam the truck shut, making sure it wouldn't pop open from all the clothes. Your parents hug you goodbye in your drive way as you and Dina get ready to leave.

You get into your car and put the top of your convertible down. The breeze felt nice in your hair as you drove off. Music plays as you sing your heart out. This was going to be a good trip, you could feel it. Dina pulls out her digital camera and snaps a pic of you driving as your hair blows in the wind. Your sun glasses reflect the trees lining the road.

It's been a long time since you've been on a nice trip. Let alone with all your friends. Nerves start to build as you get closer to the cabin. Ellie and Jesse were supposed to meet you there. Recently it's been awkward with Ellie. Usually you two could talk for hours and spend every second together but things have been different.

⋆˚✿˖°

You noticed this sudden shift in your friendship during one of your sleepovers a few months ago. Ellie was sitting on the floor of your bedroom while you were getting ready for bed. She starts going on a rant about this girl she's been thinking about asking out. You don't know what happened but in that moment you felt this strange rage fill in your heart.

Ellie has always been open about girls she finds attractive but she's never made any moves. The thought of your best friend dating another girl upset you for some reason. You've never felt this before and decided to just let it go.

"She so pretty y/n! Like I really think I'm going to make my move" Ellie scrolls on her phone as she talks to you.

You look into the mirror while washing the rest of the soap off your face. "Go for it Els, you could probably pull anyone"

"Yeah, I know" Ellie says sarcastically, now putting down her phone.

She walks over to you and meets your gaze in the reflection on the bathroom mirror. Your eyes revert down to the counter. For some reason you felt your body tremble as she got closer. You couldn't understand why you were acting like this. You've known Ellie your whole life and never saw her as anything other than your best friend.

She picks up her toothbrush and you leave the bathroom. You lay in bed waiting for Ellie to finish in the bathroom. She noticed the sudden change in your demeanor. After a few minutes your friend turns off the lights and lays nexts to you in bed.

"You ok?" Ellie turns to look at you. Her hand rubs up and down your arm.

"Yeah, Im just tired" You lied. You were wide awake but the thoughts of Ellie swarmed your mind.

Things have been like this ever since then. Every time you guys hung out, you two always end up in awkward situations. You hated the fact that things felt like this. You almost convinced yourself that maybe your friendship isn't as strong and it use to be. Maybe you two are drifing apart. You prayed that this wasn't the case but it was the only logical way to explain the distance between you two.

⋆˚✿˖°

"Can we pull over? I have to pee and Im starving" Dina throws her head back into the seat.

"Yeah, I need to get gas anyway" You pull into a gas station and Dina runs in as you follow shortly behind her.

The area was very unfamiliar. There wasn't many people around. You walk inside the convince store and pick out a few snacks and your friend finishes up in the bathroom. You look over to pick out what you want and see a package of watermelon sour patch kids. These were Ellie's favorite. You guys use to walk to the gas station when you were younger and eat these on the curb in the summer heat.

You pick up two bags, one for yourself and one to give Ellie when you see her later tonight. Dina grabs her snacks and you pay. You quickly fill up your tank and get back onto the road. You put the top of your conferable back up now that it's getting darker and the air is cooling down.

The rest of the drive was quiet. Dina slept as you listed to music softly. Superache by Conan filled the car as your mind thought about Ellie. She was all you could think about for the rest of the drive. You were excited to see her, hoping she felt the same.

A few hours later you pull into the driveway of the cabin. You looked at the familiar car already in front of you.

"It looks like they're already here" You nudge Dina, trying to wake her.

You text the group chat, letting your friends know you arrived. As you get out of the car to help unload all your bags you hear your name being called out from a small distance. You look up and see Ellie and Jesse walking towards you to greet you and help with the bags.

"Y/N!! You guys took long enough." Ellie pulls you into a tight hug and then turns to Dina to welcome her.

Your eyes were glued to Ellie. She was dressed in a pair of jorts that ended a few inches above her knees. Her shirt displayed the album cover of her favorite band she took you to see last semester. She wore her old converse that probably need to be replaced sometime soon.

You guys walk into the cabin with all the bags. It was beautiful. Trees surround the land and fireflies lit up every now and then around the house. You could see a glimpse of the ocean from the front. You walk into the cabin and place your bags onto the floor.

"You guys have to see the view!" Ellie grabs your wrist to bring you to the backyard.

Dina and Jesse followed as Ellie opened the backdoor for everyone. As she opened the door you were met with the view of the beach in the distance. Lanterns lit the path leading down to a fire pit. Lights were strung across the yard, lighting up every inch. You closed your eyes and listened to the waves crashing in the distance and the bugs humming from the trees.

"Holy shit. This is insane!" Your eyes light up thinking about all the memories that are about to be made here.

"Lets go down to the beach!" Jesse says as he's already sprinting down to the sand.

"I'll be there in a minute, Im going to change into a bathing suit." You begin to walk back inside until you feel a tug on your arm.

"Come onnnn!" Ellie drags you down to the beach with everyone else.

There wasn't anyone on the beach. It was more of a reserved area for residents only. You kick off your shoes as you stumble down to the water. You watch as your friends run into the waves laughing and taking in the moment. Ellie looks over at you from the water smiling, motioning you to come in. You roll your eyes and walk into the water. It was oddly warm. You cringe at the fact you're still dressed in your clothes from the drive here.

You suddenly gasp as you feel yourself getting pushed into the water. "Hey!" You sit as waves crash over you.

Ellie looks down at you and laughs but it doesn't last long before Jesse pushes her in. "What the fuck!"

You're now laughing at the sight of her drenched in the water. She grabs your hand and helps you up as you two are now dripping wet. You look up and notice how bright the stars are here. Back home you can barely see the stars. The city isn't the best place for star gazing. You can feel your body start to shiver.

The wet cloths that cling to your body get colder by each second. Ellie notices and pulls you close. "Lets go back up and change"

You take your bag of clothes and bring it it your room. Your eyes widen when you realize the room you were sharing with Ellie only has one bed. You don't understand why you're in shock. You've shared a bed with Ellie many times in your life but for some reason you felt weird about it.

"Nice right?" She says as she walks past you into the room.

The room was nice. It was open and had big windows looking out to the ocean. You place your bags down next to the bed and pull out a pair of pjs. You feel her eyes on you as you walk to the bathroom to shower and change for the night.

You take your time getting unready. Turing on the shower as you slip out of your wet clothes. The water is hot and feels nice against your shivering skin. Fingers run through your scalp as you wash out the salty water, tasting it on your lips as it washes over your face.

You dry off your body and put on fresh clothes. You throw your wet hair up into a towel as you wash your face. As you exit the bathroom you notice Ellie is no longer in the room. You walk downstairs to the kitchen to see all your friends sitting at the island laughing.

"Were ordered pizza, I hope that's fine" Dina says smiling, then returning to her conversation

"Im literally starving, I could fuck up some pizza right now" You say as you sit and join them at the island.

"I think Cat is going to join us for a week. She's supposed to be here next Saturday" Ellie looks at you waiting for a reaction.

You immediately feel a frown forming on your face. You hated Cat. You hated how she practically stole Ellie from you, and now she's coming on your trip!? Ever since Ellie made her move on Cat they've been inseparable. She never referred to Cat as her girlfriend but you knew it was coming. The way Ellie looks at her. It hurts. You figured it was just because she doesn't spend all her time with you anymore. Maybe you're just jealous that Ellie's time is being taken up by someone else.

You were looking forward to spending time with Ellie on this trip and now she's inventing Cat? You felt your heart drop at the thought of Ellie spending the next week with her.

"That's exciting" You say as you force a smile but it's clear your upset.

Suddenly there's a knock at the door. "That's probably the pizza" Jesse gets up and walks to the front door.

You make your way over to the living room with a box of pizza in your hands. You place the box down on the coffee table next to the other boxes. Ellie hands you a glass of water as she takes a seat next to you on the couch.

"What movie are we watching?" You feel Ellie's body shift next to you as she grabs the remote to scroll through the options.

"Want to rewatch Bottoms? I don't think Dina or Jesse have seen it yet."

"YES!" She searches up the movie and hits rent without any hesitation.

⋆˚✿˖°

The night was nice. You rested your head on Ellies shoulder as you watch the movie. The boxes of pizza are practically empty except for the left over crust from Ellie that she refuses to eat. The movie was almost over and you could feel your eyes getting tired. You've already seen this move a million times so you decided to go ahead and go to bed.

"Where are you going" Ellie looks up at you as you remove yourself from her arms.

"Im going to head up to bed. Im tired from driving all day. I'll see you guys in the morning" You smile and say goodnight to Jesse and Dina.

"Okay, goodnight! I'll be up there right when the movie ends." She gives you a soft smile in return.

The bed was comfortable. It was easy to get settled in as you wait for Ellie's presence. Your eyes close as you wait for her. You could feel yourself drifting off until you hear the sound of the door opening. Your body turns towards the door and you open your eyes to see Ellie walking into the room.

"Sorry, did I wake you up" She quietly closes the door.

"No, I was still up." You watch as she pulls out her toothbrush from her bag and walks to the bathroom.

She eventually joins you in bed. Her body was close. You could feel her settling into the mattress. The widow was slightly open, allowing the sound of the waves crashing to fill the room. The fan kept the room at a cool temperature as you pull the covers higher up your body.

"Do you like Cat" Ellie breaks the silence and turns to face you in the bed waiting for a response.

Her face was close. You could feel her gentle breath on your cheeks as she waited for you to answer. You knew you couldn't tell her the truth. She's your best friend. There's no reason for you dislike Cat, but you did, but you couldn't tell her that.

"Yeah. Why?" Your response was cold and blunt.

"You just always change the subject when I bring her up or you just seem to always get upset." She frowns. "I just really want you to like her because I think I'm going to make things official with her."

You almost was to cry when you hear those words come out of her mouth. Your heart aches. You knew this was coming but you prayed it wouldn't happen. You wished things would fall through between them. You hated that you felt this way. You wanted Ellie to be happy. You really did but you've been letting your emotions get in the way.

"Do whatever you want Ellie" You turn to face the opposite way. You didn't mean for your response to come out as harsh as it did, but it was too late.

"This is exactly what I was talking about. I don't understand why you're being like this" Her voice is harsh. "Ever since I told you about Cat you've been so distant. I don't know why you're being like this but clearly you need space."

You feel her get up from the bed. "Where are you going?" You sit up and look at her.

"Giving you space. You obviously are upset with me and I don't know why." She gets up and leaves the room.

You lay back down on your back as the tears that formed in your eyes begin to fall down your cheeks. Her words stung but she was right. You feel bad for being so short with Ellie, she doesn't deserve it. Your whole life you and Ellie have been so close. You told each other everything. The reason your friendship is changing was because of you.

After tossing and turning in the empty bed for a while you look over at your bag and see the candy you bought for Ellie but forgot to give her. You decide to get up and find her, still feeling bad about earlier. The room was dark and hard to navigate but you found the door. You walk downstairs to see Ellie laying on the couch. She's wrapped up in a small blanket, sleeping softly. You sit on the edge of the couch and look at her with a feeling of guilt settling in your stomach.

"y/n?" She slowly opens her eyes and looks at you.

"Im sorry Els." You look at her with damp eyes. "Im sorry I've been so distant and I'm sorry for being rude." You wipe your tears trying to gain composer.

Ellie sits up and wraps her arms around you, bringing you close to her body. She wipes your tears as she holds you. "Stop crying. Im not mad at you, Im just confused."

"I know and Im sorry" You rest your head on her chest.

You eventually lay down on the couch with her. There isn't too much room but you make it work. Your bodies press against each other as you close your eyes. Her arms are wrapped around your waist, still trying to calm you down. You quickly fall asleep, feeling that your friendship is returning to what it once was.

⋆˚✿˖°

You wake up alone on the couch, hearing chatter from the kitchen. Sitting up and looking over you see your friends making breakfast. The air smells of salt and pancakes.

"Look who's finally up" Jesse says teasingly as he flips a pancake.

"You hungry?" Ellie asks as she holds up a plate of food she had already prepared for you.

You get up from the couch and sit at the table. The kitchen had huge windows that had the perfect view on the backyard and the beach. The cabin was so pretty during the day. The sunlight lit up the whole house. You look up as you see Ellie placing a plate in front of you. She sits down and joins you for breakfast.

"Do you have any plans in mind for today" She looks up at you as she takes a bite of pineapple.

"I really want to explore this area and go to the beach." You smile at her as you spread the butter on your pancakes.

You put on your bathing suit and then some shorts over as a coverup. The weather was hot but not humid. There was nice breeze outside. There were a bunch of beach bikes on the side of the cabin for guest so you and your friends decided to explore on them.

Wind blew through your hair as you rode down the dirt paths from the cabin to the nearest sidewalk. Music played through Ellie's speakers as you rode. You eventually came across a small beach town with restaurants and shops. There were people walking through with friends and family enjoying the start of summer break.

You tied your bikes to a post and decided to walk around. "This place is so cute!" You take out you phone to take some pictures.

Dina points out a small local coffee shop and starts walking towards it. You guys enter the shop and order coffees to start your morning. Ellie wasn't a huge coffee person so she got a refresher.

"Els you need to try this!" You hand her your drink waiting for her to take a sip.

"No thanks. I really don't like coffee" She pushes your drink away.

"Seriously Ellie, its so good, you have to try it" You push your cup back into her hands.

She hands you her drink so you can try it as she takes a sip of your coffee. "This is disgusting!" She cringes as the taste of coffee lingers in her mouth.

She takes her drink back and washes out the bitter taste of coffee from her mouth. The coffee wasn't even strong, it was mostly washed out with a sugary creamer. You laugh watching Ellie's reaction to the coffee and took it back from her hands.

The town was small so it didn't take long to explore it. You guys planned on trying every restaurant here over the summer. The breeze from the ocean felt nice. The air smelt of salt and coffee.

You and your friends got back onto your bikes and rode down to the beach. The weather was starting to get warmer as noon approached. You set you bike up again the beach entrance and step onto the sand. You take off your shoes and toss them into your bag and walk down to the water. Ellie follows shortly behind and sits down on the towel that Dina places on the warm sand.

You join Ellie on the towel as Dina and Jesse head towards the water. "Im sorry about last night, I was just tired. I don't even remember why I was upset." You say looking at Ellie as she takes a sip of her drink.

"Y/n, it's really ok, I'm not mad. I just want us to go back to how we use to be" She admits as she meets your gaze.

"Me too" You smile and rest your head on her shoulder as you watch your friends splashing each other in the waves.

⋆˚✿˖°

The first week was perfect. You spent your days at the beach and cooking out in the backyard of the cabin. Jesse and Ellie set up hammocks in the back, so you guys could star gaze and talk until the sun starts to rise. Things were going better than you imagined. Your relationship with Ellie was better than ever. You two did everyone together.

"Cats going to be here in a few minutes!" Ellie impatiently checks her phone waiting for Cat's arrival text.

You sit at the island finishing your breakfast. The windows were open, allowing the fresh air to calm you down. You've been dreading this since Ellie first brought up the fact that Cat was even visiting. The thought of Ellie spending all her time with Cat made you sick. You didn't want to lash out again so you kept your feelings to yourself.

A ding from Ellie's phone interrupted your conversation followed by a loud knock at the door. "She's here!" Ellie jumped from her seat and walked over to the front door.

Cat stood at the entrance with her bag. She was dressed in shorts and a tank top with an opened button down on top. You took in the image of Ellie's face lighting up as she looked Cat up and down. You watched as she pulled her into a tight hug. Ellie leaded her into the kitchen with everyone else.

"Hi guys! Thanks for letting me stay for a few days" She smiles and then looks at you.

You return the smile but its obvious you're annoyed. Cat takes the hint and turns back too Ellie. They walk upstairs so she could put up her bags.

Dina looks over at you with a frown. "You ok y/n?"

"Yeah... why?" You look at her with a confused and saddened expression.

Dina caught on to your feelings for Ellie a long time ago. You've never admitted to them because honestly you never thought of Ellie in that way. At least not until recently. It's all been so confusing.

"She's only going to be here for five days, it'll go by fast" Dina tries to reassure you but it just makes things worse.

"I know, I think we'll have fun. And Ellie's happy" You try to convince your friends you're ok, and maybe you're trying to convince yourself too.

Ellie returns downstairs with Cats hand in hers. The sight makes you want to cry but you suck in your feelings and try to avoid them. You knew these next few days would be hard. Not only did you have to watch your best friend fall in love with someone else but you had to get rid of any feelings you have for her.

You didn't even know you liked her but it makes sense now. It's all coming together. Why did you feel this way? You've known Ellie all your life. Why are you just now realizing these feelings? The way she makes you feel when her fingers are running through your hair. The way she holds you close at night. The way she immediately drops everything when you need her.

Your thoughts shatter in your mind when you see Cats lips against Ellie's. You can't help but sit and stare. Ellie never told you they were official yet. Why didn't she tell you?

Your emotions took over and you left. You didn't know where you were going but your keys were in your hand and you were already half way to you car.

"Y/n!? Where are you going?" Ellie follows you as you walk out the door. Cat standing behind. She stands at the door frame as she watches you pull out of the drive way.

The air was much needed. You drove down the roads of the beach. tears building up in your eyes. You had hopes that this drive would distract you but the only thing on your mind was Ellie. Why did you let your feelings get the best of you again. She clearly doesn't like you. She has Cat.

You find yourself sitting in a cafe looking out at the beach. The thoughts Ellie holding you floods your mind. You hate yourself for feeling like this. What would she think if she knew about how you felt? Would this ruin everything between you two? Would your friendship be over for good?

You immediately snap out of your thoughts as you look down and notice a text from Ellie.

⋆˚✿˖°

a/n: Thank you for reading!! Im already working on the next chapter. I hope my writing gets stronger as I write more because I feel like this could be more detailed:( Please, please, pleaseeee give me feedback! I love hearing others opinions! Im excited to continue this story because honestly I have no idea where the plot is going to go yet. The next chapters should be longer as they come out. Im not expecting this to be too long but let me know what you guys want for the future chapters!<3

#ellie the last of us #ellie williams #ellie tlou #the last of us #tlou #ellie williams tlou #tlou2 #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #wlw #sapphic #slow burn #angst #ellie williams fanfic #tlou fanfiction #ellie williams x female reader

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carolperkinsexgirlfriend · 5 months

Text

Steddie Upside-Down AU Part 53

Part 1 Part 52

The days pass, blurred like the trees they pass in the car on the way back from every session at the lab. Each one makes Eddie’s skin crawl, even when Mama Byers can’t come so Wayne goes in her place, flanked by Hopper as usual.

The car’s always quiet on the way back. No one ever tells them anything, but Dr. Owens’ eyes look flinty when he analyzes the print-outs, gaze drifting to Steve more than Eddie likes. God, if only someone in the party was a fucking doctor.

But the NDA’s tied their hands on bringing in second opinions, and Eddie’s pretty sure that the guards they all pretend not to be creeped out by would stop them long before they make it to the outside world.

So, he sits in Wayne’s truck on the drive and stews.

Steve’s getting quieter after each visit, like they’re sucking something vital out of him. It makes Eddie rabid, a little. But all he does is turn the music up louder, singing along like his heart is still in it.

Steve smiles at him when they lock eyes in the rearview mirror. Eddie ignores the way Wayne huffs, just lets the warmth in.

It should be weird, now that Steve looks like The Hair again. Now that it’s long enough, Eddie knows the secrets of his hair care – bullshit expensive shampoo and conditioner, and a few sprays of farah fawcett hairspray. Steve spends obscene amounts of time hogging the bathroom mirror, making sure each strand lays just so.

It’d taken months to be let in on the process. Eddie’d sat on the toilet lid, watching transfixed as Steve puckered his lips in concentration and twirled his hair around his finger, spraying it lightly with hairspray until it held.

So, yeah. Steve The Hair Harrington is back with his lucious locks, but he’s huddled into one of Eddie’s oversized sweaters in the backseat of Wayne’s truck, so he doesn’t see much more than the same old Stevie who he’s shared a bed with for months on end.

It’s thanks to Eddie’s obsessive need to glance at Eddie in the mirror that he notices it so quickly. Steve’s eyes are vacant, zoned as he looks forward blankly. Eddie meets his gaze in the mirror and sees nothing there.

“Stevie?” he asks, turning in his seat to look into the backseat.

“He okay?” Wayne asks, keeping his eyes on the road and his hands on the wheel.

Steve doesn’t react to either of them. Eddie unclips his seatbelt, tangling his feet in it as he crawls over the console and into the backseat, calling Steve’s name. He snaps his fingers in front of his face, and gets nothing. It’s like he’s a doll, and everything that makes up Steve has been sucked out of him.

“Steve, wake up!” Eddie says, slapping lightly at his cheek. Hoping, hoping hoping.

“What’s happening back there?” Wayne asks.

Eddie doesn’t answer. He doesn’t register that the eingine has cut off until Wayne opens Steve’s door and peers in at them. Steve looks up at him, begging Wayne to help. Wayne looks down at Steve, frowning at his unseeing eyes.

“I don’t like this!” Eddie says, shaking Steve by the shoulders as tears spring from his eyes.

Wayne’s mouth twists, but he reaches down, grabs Steve’s wrist and digs his fingernails in, hard enough that it turns bloodless white. Eddie wrenches Steve back, looking down at Steve’s bloodless wrist, horrified.

But then Steve gasps. He’s crying before he even has time to breath. Eddie pulls him bodily into his lap as he shakes and sobs in a way Eddie’s never seen him do before. Never seen anyone do before.

“You’re alright, Stevie,” he says, hoping it’s true. “I’ve got you.”

He murmurs nothing’s into Steve’s ears as Wayne gets back into the truck and drives, trying to make safety out of words, shoring Steve up and bricking him in. It seems to work. Steve’s breathing slows, and his shaking stops.

He doesn’t say antying until they’re pulling in front of the trailer. Wayne parks and cuts the eingine, silence deafening them all. No one makes a move to get out.

“Sorry,” Steve says, like a fucking idiot.

“Nothing to apologize for, son,” Wayne says, far more diplomatically than whatever was about to make it out of Steve’s own mouth.

“What happened, Stevie?” Eddie asks, squeezing Steve where he’s still huddled on Eddie’s lap.

As if only just then noticing his pricarious position, Steve scrambles back and into his own seat, cheeks heating. He doesn’t say anything. Eddie sighs.

“Come on, Eds,” Wayne says, opening his own door. “Let’s get him inside.”

They do. Steve stays quiet, shrinking into himself like they won’t notice him if he makes himself small. They sit at the table, where all family meetings and important talks take place. Wayne fusses over tea as Eddie stares Steve down, unwilling to let this lie.

Steve breaks. “It just happens sometimes?” he says, lilting up like it’s a question.

Wayne sets a cup of coffee in front of them. Eddie sips his with a grimace, letting the warmth hit his stomach. Steve grips his tight in his palms, probably burning his fingers on the heat radiating off the porcelain.

“What happens, son?” Wayne asks.

Steve’s lip wobbles, but he looks up, glancing between Wayne and Eddie before looking back down at his drink. “It’s like, I blink and I’m just there sometimes.” No one has to ask what he means by ‘there.’ “But this time–”

His voice shakes, then breaks. Eddie cups his palm around Steve’s forearm and squeezes. Steve takes a shuddering breath and then continues. “This time, it was like something else was there.”

“A Demogorgon?” Wayne asks, the syllables stretched clunkily over the unfamiliar word.

Steve shakes his head, movements slow and shaky. “It was just shadows last time,” he whispers, looking off into the distance at something that isn’t there. “But this time, I saw it.”

When he doesn’t continue, Eddie asks, “What did you see?”

Steve finally meets his gaze, his pupils pinpricks. “I don’t know. It was just like a spider? But longer, and so fucking tall, Eddie.”

Eddie swallows, nods, tries to smile. It doesn’t work. He settles for squeezing Steve’s arm again, hoping it helps.

“You know,” Wayne interjects, waiting to continue until they both look up at him, “this sounds a lot like the same issues my buddies have had when they get back.”

Get back, in this case, doesn’t mean the Upside-Down. He means state side. He means war vets who don’t ever quite make it home. Friends who get lost staring at walls, bracing for explosions that will never come.

“They call it shellshock,” Wayne says, leaning forward to meet Steve’s gaze. “It gets better for most people. Over time.”

Eddie lingers on the word ‘most.’ What if that’s what’s in store for Eddie’s future? Days spent trying to bring Steve back into his body. What if being in hell, over and over and over, is what’s in store for Steve? Eddie slips his hand down, covering Steve’s warm hand where it’s still cupped around his mug.

Steve looks at Eddie, and he can tell that Steve doesn’t believe Wayne. And something worse wriggles its way into Eddie’s brain: what if it’s not days of Steve disappearing that they have to look out for? What if it’s not shellshock at all?

“Should we tell the lab people?” Steve asks, shaking Eddie’s hand off so he can take a sip of his coffee.

“Absolutely not!” Eddie says.

Wayne nods, thankfully in agreement. “I don’t trust those people to start sticking them nodes on your brain instead of jus’ your head.”

Steve grimaces, shivering, but thankfully he nods. Thank fuck.

After all, what if it’s not shellshock? What would a ruthless rogue faction of their evil government overlords do to control a threat of the size Steve was talking about? What would that do to Steve?

Eddie just hopes he never has to find out.

Part 54

Taglist: @deany-baby @estrellami-1 @altocumulustranslucidus @evillittleguy @carlprocastinator1000 @1-8oo-wtfbro @hallucinatedjosten @goodolefashionedloverboi @newtstabber @lunabyrd @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @manda-panda-monium @disrespectedgoatman @finntheehumaneater @ive-been-bamboozled @harringrieve @grimmfitzz @is-emily-real @dontstealmycake @angeldreamsoffanfic @a-couchpotato @5ammi90 @mac-attack19 @genderless-spoon @kas-eddie-munson @louismeds @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @pansexuality-activated @ellietheasexylibrarian @nebulainajar @mightbeasleep @neonfruitbowl @beth--b @silenzioperso @best-selling-show @v3lv3tf0x @bookworm0690

#steddie upsidedown au #my fic #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington

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a-small-writer-in-a-big-world · 4 months

Text

Forgiveness: cbf!soap x f!reader

It's been a couple days since you and Johnny had spoken.

Neither of you knew what to say to the other. Feelings were hurt and the shame of how both of you acted stopped both of you from reaching out despite the fact that every moment you spent apart was wasting time until he had to leave.

The day before he left you went to his house. Things were quiet, unusually so, and you found him in the shed in the backyard.

He was tinkering with something. He usually did that when he was bored or when he needed to clear his mind. Before you walked in you could hear him messing with whatever he had.

He was hunched over the workbench with his back towards you. He didn't know you were there and you suddenly got cold feet.

For a split second you went to leave but stopped yourself.

“Johnny.” You said and he jumped.

“Steamin’ Jesus.” He placed his hand over his heart and looked at you. “You scared me.”

“Sorry…”

The two do you stood in front of each other without saying anything. The silence was awkward and neither of you could look at the other.

“Mam told me you got into university.” He said and you nodded, noting the shame in his voice. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks.”

You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat. You had a lot of time to think about what he said, about making him feel guilty for wanting to leave.

Even if you didn’t want him to go there really shouldn’t be a reason for you to make it worse for everyone. Especially after he had told you this was something really wanted to do, something that felt right to him.

“Are you really leaving?” You asked softly and he hesitated to nod.

“I’m sorry for everything I said.” He told you sincerely. “I should’ve told you when I found out.”

“I’m sorry for making you feel guilty, I never should’ve done that to you.”

The air didn’t get lighter between the two of because time was running out. There were only so many hours in a day and it was almost lunch time.

“We have the whole day.” You suggested and he perked up. “If you’re up to it.”

“I am.” He gave you a weak smile that you returned.

That was how you both ended up in the middle of nowhere. Both of you were lounging in the truck bed with a couple pillows and blankets you had brought with you.

You both hadn’t done much, only stay in each other’s presence. There wasn’t much to talk about, nothing either of you wanted to bring up, so you both laid together under the stars.

“How long are you going to be gone for?” You asked after a while.

“Couple months. Probably won’t be done until October.” He told you and you bit your lip to keep it from quivering.

You so desperately wanted to beg him to stay. You didn’t want to have to see him go and know that because of you he wouldn’t come back. But you couldn’t give him any more grief, especially when he told you how it made him feel.

You should feel happy for him, you should be happy he was going to do something he wanted but there was a big emptiness inside you.

Maybe you should’ve told him how you really felt years ago. Maybe if the two of you weren’t friends but together, then he’d stay.

“You’ll be at university…” Johnny said and you hummed.

“I’m not waiting for you.” Your words replayed in his mind since you said them and it tore him up on the inside. This was the last time he’d see you even if he had plans to come back and visit whenever he could.

If you weren’t going to be here then why would he come back? You were the only reason he’d ever think to visit, save for his mom every once in a while, but for you he had planned to come back every time he could. Without you, he didn’t really see a point in it.

You wiped a few tears from your eyes and rolled over, pulling him into a hug that he immediately returned. You pressed your head against his chest and he wrapped his arms around you tightly.

“I forgive you.” You whispered and he pressed a kiss to your head.

“I forgive you too.” He whispered back and let out a heavy sigh.

Even though he had to leave in the morning, the two of you stayed out there until dawn and watched the sunrise together.

Both of you left your childhood behind in that field. And when you watched Johnny drive away, all you could feel was nothing.

A/n: growing up sucks

Tags: Tags: @elysian0612 @cassiecasluciluce @pepsicolacoochie @hayleybarnesx @tiredmetalenthusiast

#cbf!soap #childhood best friend!soap #john soap mactavish x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #john soap mactavish x you #john soap mctavish x you #soap x reader #soap x you #john soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish #johnny soap mctavish x reader #johnny soap mctavish x you #call of duty

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totalswag · 7 months

Text

date night — RAFE CAMERON

authors note thank you so much for the love on my recent fic AND for almost 300 followers!!! it doesn’t matter if you guys leave a comment or not, seeing you guys interact by liking and rebloging makes me happy. i’ve seen a few writers write something like this concept before too.

requests are open

summary rafe takes you out every first friday of each month. this friday in particular, he takes you to one of your favorite restaurants in town then some ice cream for dessert.

warnings kissing, food, ice cream, and soft!rafe

You were finishing up your makeup then changed into your outfit for the night with your boyfriend, Rafe Cameron. You already curled your hair prior to doing your makeup because you rather get that over with first than makeup first.

The first Friday of every month, Rafe likes to take you out to dinner or anything else that comes to mind. Tonight however, he’s taking you to one of your favorite Italian restaurants. It's a fancy restaurant so you have to dress somewhat nice.

You don’t know where you found Rafe but you are glad that you have him because you don’t know what your life would be like without him in your life. He was the one who started this little tradition when you first started dating. At first you thought it was a one time thing but it began to happen more often.

I’ll pick you up at 8pm angel.

The time read seven thirty five which gives you sometime to get changed and walk downstairs to the front door.

After getting changed, you headed downstairs where your family sat on the couch in the living room watching a movie. Your younger sister, who’s just turned four, gasps when she sees you enter the living room, and runs over to you.

“You look so pretty sissy” she giggles, putting both hands together, swinging them back and forth.

You crouch down, “you are too sweet for this world” placing a soft kiss to her cheek.

She giggles, wrapping her arms around your neck, hugging you.

The sound of Rafe’s truck pulls up to your house. You tell your family and little sister goodbye and you’ll see them later whenever you get back.

Rafe stood by the passenger side of the car as you walked out the door and around the corner, holding a bouquet of flowers. Your body was filled with a warm sensation. That man never fails to make you smile.

“Everytime you give me flowers it makes me feel like its our first date all over again” you state while smiling.

The smell of Rafe’s cologne fills your lungs. The scent he’s wearing is your favorite too.

You take the flowers from your boyfriend's hand, bringing them to your nose, they smell beautiful. You whisper thank you, stepping on your tippy toes to kiss his lips.

“Why do you always smell so good?” you groan, “makes me wanna do things to you” you add, wrapping your pointer finger around his gold chain.

He chuckles, placing his hands at your lower back, pulling you closer, “mhm maybe you can do those things later tonight” smirking.

“We better hurry up, we have reservations at eight thirty princess.”

This man makes me go insane.

He opens the door for you. He held your right hand while you lifted yourself into the truck. The truck is lifted, not too crazy.

You wait until Rafe is settled in the truck, then you start the engine and connect your phone to the bluetooth to play Lana Del Rey.

One thing about you is that you love Lana Del Rey. You fell in love with her as soon as you heard her songs. You usually mention Rafe is written about Lana whenever you see him, which is all the time.

West Coast.

When the music begins to play, you both make eye contact. He gently rubs your left thigh with his right hand, sending goosebumps down your spine. You squeeze your palm on top of his while you sing along.

The number of people at the restaurant was outrageous. You were glad Rafe made reservations rather than just strolling in and waiting for an hour or however long it would take to be seated.

Rafe held onto your hand as you two walked to the front where the hostess was standing.

Italian music is playing all over the restaurant. The whole restaurant is made to look and feel like you are in Italy. A smile creeps up your face when you walk inside.

“Hello, I have a reservation for two under the name Rafe Cameron at eight thirty” he smiles to the young man behind the booth.

The young man nods then types in Rafe’s name.

“Right this way Cameron” he smiles, grabbing two menus, then leading you to your table.

Your waitress for the night comes to the table to introduce herself and asks if you two want anything to drink– you get two waters and wine to start off.

Rafe and you begin scanning the menu when you get seated. You go back and forth with each other about what sounds good. You end up going with pasta instead because the one you usually get fills you up.

“I might get the same thing but I'm still gonna look just in case I find something different” Rafe answers your question about what he’s thinking of eating.

In the meantime, Rafe and you were talking about Cameron Development and what it was like working for the family business. Rafe has been working for his father for six months. It's been hard, but he's trying to build a life for himself and the two of you one day so you can have your own place one day.

Thirty minutes later, your waitress brought Rafe’s and your food.

The minute you got your food your mouth was already drooling by the food sitting in front of you just waiting to be eaten.

You took your phone out of your purse and took a picture of the food and Rafe setting his wine glass down before picking up his fork. Rafe's toothy smile comes instantaneously as he hears the clicking sound from your phone.

“You have to take a picture of everything, huh?” He jokes, shaking his head.

“If the pictures involve you in it, I’m definitely taking it” You reply, tilting your head to the side, winking.

After dinner, Rafe and you walked over to an ice cream shop. Where the restaurant is located, there’s a shopping center with food and desert.

The inside was filled with people ordering and sitting inside.

Whenever you get ice cream together, you always get mint chocolatechip in a cone and Rafe always gets lumberjack in a cup. There was enough sitting outside for the both of you.

The night sky looked beautiful– stars filled the sky, the moon shining bright as always, the sound of crickets coming from every direction.

“Thank you for tonight baby, I love you so much!” Whispering in Rafe’s ear before kissing his lips softly.

“Anything for my girl” he smiles down, wrapping his free hand around your lower waist, pulling you closer to his body.

my taglist

@runningfrom2am @winterrrnight @brooklynscherry-z @kaydsr3venge @johannelis2302nely

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btsficsandsuch · 8 months

Text

Comfort Person

You overhear Yoongi talking about how clingy you are but he doesn’t know the reason why. When you distance yourself he starts to worry.

You stood outside Yoongi’s studio door preparing to let yourself in with the code he had given you a few months ago. You had a bag full of food for the two of you, something you did often. The two of you had been friends for several years but just recently started dating. Just as you were about to knock you heard voices going back and forth. You recognized Yoongi’s voice and you also heard Namjoon and Hoseok. You figured they were discussing work and you didn’t want to interrupt so you went to go sit in the lounge down the hall and give them some privacy. You were about to walk away when you heard your name. Of course curiosity got the best of you and you decided to listen in on the conversation.

“Man I am starving. You’re so lucky that Y/N brings you food all the time.”, Namjoon spoke. “Yeah seriously and she’s always checking in on you. I hope one day I have someone that cares about me like that.”, Hobi said. You smiled at their kind words. Yoongi spoke, “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” His words stung a little. You thought he appreciated it. “Uh oh trouble in paradise already?”, Namjoon asked. You could hear Yoongi sigh, “Not really. I just didn’t expect Y/N to be this clingy and needy once we became official. I mean I love being around her but she spends every night in my studio with me and she doesn’t even knock. She just lets herself in. I gave her the code for emergencies but I kind of regret it now. She comes to the dorm and is practically on top of me the whole time and then she just invites herself to spend the night. She steals all of my clothes. She constantly texts me all day. I just need some space but I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

Wow. All of this just hit you like a truck. You knew you were a little clingy with him and it did get worse once you started dating because you felt more comfortable but you didn’t think he hated it that much. Yoongi was your comfort person. Whenever your anxiety got bad or you just had a bad day you felt so much better being around him. You didn’t want him to feel so negatively towards you so you decided that you would stop the clinginess and give him some space. You left the bag of food sitting outside his door and went home.

Yoongi checked his phone and saw the time said 1:17am. Then he noticed there were no new texts or calls from you. It was odd. He knew you’d be asleep already so why hadn’t you texted him. He just assumed you must’ve fallen asleep and left it at that. He couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit of hurt though as you’d never fallen asleep before saying goodnight before.

Over the next week you did your best to give Yoongi his space. You only texted him if he texted you first. You were currently on your way to his studio for the first time this week. He had texted you asking if you’d bring him his hoodie that he had left at your place. Standing in-front of his door you were about to let yourself in when you remembered what he said so you knocked instead. When he finally opened his door he was surprised to see you. “Y/N why did you knock? Did you forget the code?”, he said with a little laugh. You shook your head, “No I just didn’t want to interrupt if you were busy.” You handed him his hoodie and turned to walk away but he stopped you, “Aren’t you going to stay? I feel like I haven’t seen you all week.” “No I have some errands to run before the rain comes.”, you lied. Really you wanted nothing more than to wrap yourself around him and never let go but you were doing this for him. He stood watching you walk away. He knew something was off.

The following day you got a text from Jungkook inviting you to a movie night at the dorm. You thought about passing but ultimately decided that it might be good for you to get out of your apartment and be around your friends.

You knocked on the door of the dorm and Jin invited you in, “Yoongi is in his room.” You smiled knowing he assumed you’d want to go right to him but you were still giving him space. Instead you sat at the dining room table next to Jimin and waited for dinner to be ready. You didn’t realize how cold it was so you didn’t bring a jacket and you were freezing. Usually you’d go grab one of Yoongi’s hoodies but remembering what he said you asked Jin if you could have one of his instead. He happily handed you the fluffy pink hoodie and you quickly put it on.

Jin had let Yoongi know that the food was ready and to come eat. He was shocked when he walk into the room and saw you already sitting there smiling and having a conversation with Jimin. “When did you get here?”, he asked you before sitting down. “Umm maybe like 30 minutes ago.”, you said not wanting to make eye contact. Yoongi looked visibly hurt, “Why didn’t you come say hi and let me know you were here? And why are you wearing Jin’s hoodie? I have a closet full of them that you could’ve gone through.” You just shrugged, “I didn’t want to bother you.”

Yoongi ate his meal in silence. He wasn’t sure why you were all of a sudden being so distant. He thought back to all of the interactions you two had over the last month. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Once dinner was over and the kitchen cleaned up everyone made their way to the living room to watch a movie.

Yoongi took his usual spot on the couch leaving a space next to him. He had your favorite fluffy blanket in his lap and he was ready for some much needed cuddling. To his dismay instead of walking right over to him like you would usually do you stood at the door looking around the room like you were deciding where to sit. You remembered the comment he made about you always being on top of him at the dorms so you were looking for somewhere else to sit. “Noona aren’t you going to sit next to Hyung? There’s a seat open.”, Jungkook said smiling at you. Not wanting to make things even more awkward you nodded a thank you and took the seat next to Yoongi making sure to leave as much space as you could between the two of you. He offered you the blanket but you declined telling him you were a little warm. Yoongi new you were lying but chose to let it go.

After the movie you said your goodbyes and watched the boys run off to their rooms. You went to the kitchen to make sure all of the food was properly put away. Once that was done you made your way to the front door and started putting your shoes on. Yoongi appeared with a frown, “Y/N it’s really late and quite cold outside. Why dont you just spend the night here?” You wanted so badly to get in his bed and feel his warmth and comfort. You needed it now more than ever but you could still hear his words in your head. You shook your head, “No it’s okay. I’ve got some things to do early in the morning.”

Yoongi was starting to get worried. This wasn’t like you at all. “Y/N what’s going on? Are you cheating on me? Or do you just not love me any more? Whatever it is you can tell me.”, he said slightly raising his voice. Hearing him get loud sent you into complete panic mode. You didn’t know what he wanted from you at this point. You feel like no matter what you did you were wrong and next thing you knew you were sobbing into his chest.

He pulled you into his room to get some privacy. Sitting you on the bed he started wiping away the tears, “Y/N please talk to me. I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.” You waited a few minutes to calm yourself down. “The other day I was going to bring you food but I heard you telling Namjoon and Hobi about how clingy and needy I am and you wanted space so I decided to give you that space.”, you said between sobs. “Oh Y/N I’m so sorry. I was having such a bad couple days and I felt so awful that I was being forced to ignore you. I was just saying dumb stuff. I didn’t mean any of it.”, he said while rubbing circles on your back.

You wiped some of the tears way, “No I’m sorry. I was clingy and needy. You’re my comfort person. I feel better when I’m with you. I don’t feel as anxious or sad so I tried to be around you as much as I could to make myself feel better. I was being selfish because I wasn’t thinking about what you wanted or how you felt. I’m glad I heard you. I just wish you would’ve talked to me instead.”

Yoongi lifted your chin so you could look at him, “No don’t be sorry Y/N. I’ll be your comfort person. I’ll be whatever you need. You can sit on my lap 24/7 if it makes you feel better. Honestly, after this last week I realized just how much I need you too.” You rested your head on his shoulder while he wrapped you in a hug and you instantly felt better. “Are you going to spend the night? I think we could both use a good night of cuddling.” You smiled and nodded your head. You watched Yoongi walk over to his closet and grab a tshirt and a hoodie. He walked back over and handed them to you, “Here, please put these on and throw Jin’s hoodie out in the hallway. I don’t even want it in here.” You giggled while taking the clothes and doing as he said (Minus the hoodie part since Jin was nice enough to lend it to you. You folded it and placed it neatly in front of his door instead but Yoongi didn’t have to know that).

You crawled in bed where Yoongi was waiting with open arms. You rested your head on his chest while he held you close. “I love you Y/N.”You felt love, you felt happiness, you felt warmth, you felt comfort. “I love you too.”

#bts #bts fanfic #bts x reader #yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfic #bts fluff #bts imagines #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #bts yoongi #min yoongi

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epochofbelief · 3 months

Text

Strictly Confidential: A Feysand AU

Chapter One

She's a law student turned confidential informant. He's a prosecutor with only one goal: bringing down her boyfriend for illegal activity . . . What could go wrong?

Hi everyone! Here's chapter one. I hope you enjoy. Let me know if you're interested in being tagged. Any thoughts on the story are much appreciated, too!

Chapter One

Feyre collapsed against the wall as soon as class was over. Sweat dripped from her temples, sliding over the layer of concealer she had plastered on that morning. She wiped her forehead, swearing to herself once again that this would be the last time she allowed Tamlin to drag her to a Crossfit class.

Even though she had made and broken that same mental promise to herself three times a week for the past six months.

As she guzzled from her near empty water bottle, Tamlin slung a sweaty arm over her shoulders, his skin against hers slick. Oily. “Got any of that left?” Tamlin asked, already reaching for the water bottle.

Feyre sighed, handing it off to him. “A few drops.”

He knocked it back without another word. Not an appreciative smile. No thank you, Feyre. Not even a nod of gratitude for the water he had taken from her.

As she followed Tamlin out of the warehouse where the Crossfit classes were held, Feyre made another vow. The first of its kind, but perhaps with more resolve behind it than the one she had made only moments ago.

She was going to break up with him this week.

Feyre trailed Tamlin through the parking lot, eyes on the back of his neck, his blonde hair stuck to it with sweat. Her boyfriend of over a year had fallen into conversation with his best friend, Lucien. Lucien was also a regular at these Crossfit classes, but had met Tamlin through work. Tamlin had hired Lucien as his Director of Operations at his company, Spring Solutions. Five years later, the duo were best friends.

Lucien climbed into the passenger seat of Tamlin’s expensive truck, leaving Feyre to haul herself into the back as usual. Tamlin swung into the driver’s seat and made short of work of getting the vehicle out of the parking lot and onto the highway that would carry them back into the city, back to the building where Tamlin and Feyre shared an apartment and Lucien lived a few floors down.

As the two discussed something about work—a topic Feyre didn’t particularly care about—she thought more about the terrifying new task she had set for herself.

Breaking up with Tamlin wouldn’t be simple.

Because it was her life, of course, and things were never simple.

She had shared an apartment with Tam, who was nearly seven years her senior, since the beginning of her second year of law school. Now, a month into her third and final year, their lives were fully intertwined. Feyre paid a few hundred dollars of rent each month, but Tamlin footed most of the bill. The downtown apartment was expensive, something Feyre could never afford on her own thanks to her law student’s budget.

She rarely paid for meals, either. Tamlin subscribed to one of those ultra-healthy meal services. A week’s worth of dinners delivered to their door every Monday morning. Feyre cooked them on study breaks, and the two would usually share a quick meal before Tamlin logged back on to work in his home office and Feyre returned to her books.

Most of the furniture was his, as was the art on the walls. The kitchen utensils, pots, pans. The bed they shared. Everything.

If Feyre moved out, she would have to return to her father’s house or increase the amount of student loans she had already taken out that semester. Neither option sounded appealing. She had lived with her father and her two older sisters her whole life—all throughout her undergraduate studies and until the end of her first year of law school. How she had made it so long trapped in that house, caring for her family in much the same way she cared for Tamlin, Feyre had no idea. So when Tamlin had proposed the idea of moving in together, she jumped at the chance. Didn't think farther than Get me out of my childhood home.

She hadn't considered what would happen if things didn’t work out. If she decided he wasn’t the one for her anymore.

She had gone straight from her father’s house to Tamlin’s apartment, and had fallen into Tamlin’s lifestyle, even if she still wasn’t quite used to it.

At least the bed in the guest room was hers, and the nightstand and the few books she had taken from her father’s house. Her painting supplies.

“Babe?” Tamlin’s voice scattered the plans she was fruitlessly trying to cobble together in her mind.

“What?” She inquired, blinking up at her boyfriend.

“I asked if you wanted to get dinner out tonight.”

Feyre bit her lip. She had already put off studying to come to Crossfit—if she didn’t get home soon, she would have to burn the midnight oil to get all her reading for class done at a decent hour.

“I really have to study,” she said quietly, praying he wouldn’t try to convince her to come to dinner. Because he would never let up and she, inevitably, would give in.

At Tamlin’s sigh, she tentatively tried again. “I’m really sorry! I wish my professors didn’t assign such long readings, but I can’t change it.”

He didn’t say anything.

“You know I would come to dinner if I could. I would much rather do that.” The words weren’t new—she’d used some variation of them numerous times over the past year and a half. They had almost lost all meaning to her, but she’d found this was the best combination to keep Tamlin happy: apologize, provide an excuse that was outside of her control, and assure him that he would always be her first choice.

“Alright. We’ll drop you at home and come back later.”

Feyre choked back her sigh of relief. “Sounds good. Thanks, babe.”

Lucien’s eyes met hers in the rearview mirror—one ginger eyebrow cocking slightly. Feyre looked away, gaze fixing on her lap.

Twenty minutes later, she waved at the car as it sped down the street toward Tamlin and Lucien’s favorite sports bar. With any luck, Lucien would get him drinking beers and talking about work, and she would have at least three hours to herself to shower. Study. Maybe even time enough to feign sleep by the time Tamlin returned.

And indeed, she managed to accomplish everything she needed to do just before Tamlin came stumbling into the apartment hours later. Feyre shut her eyes tight from her spot on the right side of the bed, her fledgling plans swirling through her thoughts until she well and truly drifted away.

-----

The next morning, Feyre gazed at herself in the mirror, turning this way and that to make sure every inch of her suit was clean and pressed to perfection, not a wrinkle in sight. The black jacket clung to her narrow frame, the pencil skirt she wore beneath it as flattering as a skirt that cut her off just below the knee could be. Her golden-brown hair fell in loose waves just past her shoulders, watery blue eyes popping thanks to the brown mascara she had applied.

“You look amazing,” a voice from behind her said.

Feyre turned, smiling at her boyfriend despite all the promises and plans she had made the night before. “Thanks, honey.”

“What’s the occasion?” Tamlin asked, striding forward and placing his hands on her hips.

Feyre stepped back, grinning up at him. “No touching. I have an important networking event with my firm today and I can’t get all wrinkly.”

Tamlin held up his hands, backing away a step. “My apologies, Ms. Archeron.”

Feyre smiled. Tamlin wasn’t always awful.

Just most of the time.

“So when can I expect you home today?”

Feyre sighed, grabbing her backpack and purse and brushing past Tamlin, striding out of the closet and into the master bathroom. “I’ve got a full day of classes, and then this networking event at six. I’m not sure how long it will go, but I’m really hoping to be back by eight.”

“Just as well,” Tamlin said. “I’ve got a late night at work—probably won’t be home until after ten.” Feyre nodded, and Tamlin followed her out of the bathroom, through the bedroom, and down the hall to the kitchen. Feyre grabbed the smoothie she had made earlier that morning and tucked her lunchbox into her backpack.

“Have a good day, honey,” she said, pressing a kiss to Tamlin’s lips. He nipped at her lower lip, green eyes sparking. But Feyre just smiled, retreated, and didn’t breathe deep until she made it to the hallway, door automatically locking behind her.

This week. She was going to do it this week.

Feyre’s day dragged on in one long, miserable slog. She got cold-called by her professors in two of her classes, but she managed to answer most of the questions correctly, her heart thudding violently in her chest all the while.

Cold calls and the Socratic method of teaching were one of her least favorite parts of law school. Most professors gave no warning to their students before they called their names, subjecting them to several questions of the professor’s choosing. If you didn’t know the answer, they might move on. But some waited for you to at least attempt to respond, while the class stared and stared and hands jumped into the air all around, telling you that they knew the answer, that it was obvious. Answering a question correctly felt wonderful—but answering incorrectly usually caused Feyre’s cheeks to burn a bright red.

It didn’t matter how many of the randomly determined “calls” Feyre endured—every time a professor spoke her name, her hands started sweating, her heart rate climbing up and up and up until the professor moved on to another victim.

She spent a few hours at the library after class, tucked in her favorite corner. It was private, but better than sitting in the main quad where most of the law students gathered to study during daytime hours. Feyre hadn’t spent any notable length of time in the quad since the first semester of her 1L year. As her relationship with Tamlin progressed, the few friends she had made faded away as Feyre opted to attend the fancy dinner parties and events Tamlin invited her to. Maintaining a new relationship and keeping up with her studies didn’t leave much time for anything else—not even friends. That wasn’t to mention the time she had spent at home with her sisters and father her entire first year of school, taking care of most of the housekeeping and cooking duties because the rest of her family had “real jobs” and Feyre was still “just a student” who didn’t work a regular 9-5.

Now, she felt like a ghost in the halls of the school. She would wave to her old friends if they passed in the hallways, but Feyre had long ago accepted that this would be her law school experience: sitting in the back of the classroom, answering questions if forced, and generally keeping to herself.

It was a quiet, small existence she led. Class. Tamlin. Attending whatever events or obligations Tamlin dragged her to. Studying.

After she’d had enough studying for the day, Feyre took the train to downtown Prythian, checking her makeup at least four times before the train arrived at its stop a few blocks from a large hotel and event center in the heart of the city. She started to walk the five minutes to the hotel, staring up at the enormous shiny buildings rising around her.

To think, this would be where she worked full-time in just a few short months.

Thanks to competitive firm recruiting, Feyre had had her post-grad job lined up since the summer. She would be starting as a junior associate at Hybern & Night LLP, one of the largest and most powerful national firms in the country. Jobs at Hybern & Night were hard to come by, but thanks to Feyre’s top 5% ranking at Prythian University Law School, and her ability to say all the right things under pressure, she’d scored a job during early interviewing last summer.

The firm occupied the upper floors of one of the tallest buildings downtown. Tonight it was holding a networking event for its partners, associates, recruits, and other lawyers in the community.

She could have skipped the event, but her career counselor had emphasized how important it was to immerse herself in firm activities as quickly as possible—it would make her transition from student to junior associate much smoother, and allow her to make connections with more senior attorneys and partners who might be willing to provide projects for her to work on when she started.

So, she was here, clicking down the shadowed streets of downtown Prythian, gearing herself up to rub elbows with some of the city's wealthiest attorneys.

Some day soon, she would be one of them.

Feyre tugged her coat closer around herself, the chill in the air signaling autumn’s impending arrival. A block away, the windows of the event center glowed warmly in the shadows of the buildings around her. She increased her pace, and soon found herself ensconced in a world of cocktails and arguments. Feyre made a beeline for the refreshments table. She could certainly count on attorneys to ensure there was an open bar at events like this. She seized a glass of red wine and cast her gaze around the room, but didn’t recognize anyone. She had interviewed with at least five of the attorneys from Hybern & Night in order to get her job, but they were nowhere to be seen.

Feyre thanked the man who served her the wine, swallowing back memories of her own time spent as a bartender at Humane, one of the filthiest hole-in-the-wall bars in all of Prythian. She would have preferred talking to the bartender—less posturing required—but forced herself to skirt around the room, looking around for someone to engage in conversation.

She had almost completed a full lap when an enormous man leaned against the wall just in front of her.

“You look lost,” his deep voice rumbled, light brown hair sliding over his forehead, pale green eyes gazing down at her. His cheeks were flushed—probably from the alcohol—and as his eyes slid over her, Feyre was glad she hadn’t yet removed her coat.

“Not lost. Just—” Feyre broke off, shaking her head. “Feyre Archeron,” she said, offering a hand. “I’ll be starting as a first-year associate at Hybern & Night next August.”

“Jax Smith,” he said, an enormous hand encompassing hers. “I'm in my eighth year at Hybern & Night. Hoping to make partner next year. It’s nice to meet you, Feyre.”

Feyre swallowed, taking her hand back and sliding it into her pocket. “You too.” She cast around for one of her pre-prepared questions: So how do you like working at the firm? Any advice for 3L students preparing to enter the workforce? How do you survive the eighty hour workweeks year after year after year? Is the money worth it?

Luckily, Feyre didn’t have to resort to any of her questions, because Jax spoke for her.

“You look awfully young to be a 3L,” he commented, gaze sliding up and down her body.

Feyre cocked an eyebrow, a chill trailing down her spine. “I’m twenty-three.”

“That’s young.”

Feyre gritted her teeth. This was certainly unprofessional. “Not too young, I hope,” she said, forcing a smile. This man was going to be her coworker. She couldn’t just turn around and flee. “I’ll be twenty-four this December,” she said brightly. “Practically collecting Social Security.”

Jax didn’t smile. Only narrowed his eyes like he was trying to see through her coat.

Feyre swallowed another gulp of wine, and as he inched closer, she realized that the alcove where they stood was mostly obscured by two of the many enormous columns ringing the event center. There weren’t any lights in this section, and no one else seemed to be paying them any attention. The rest of the networking attorneys seemed miles away, even the sounds of their voices muffled by a dull roaring that started in Feyre’s head as Jax’s gaze fixed her in place.

“And are you married, Feyre?” Jax asked, one arm resting on the wall next to her head. His gaze dropped to her left hand, wrapped around the stem of her wineglass, her fourth finger obviously bereft of any ring.

“No,” she said, backing away another step.

But her admission only seemed to encourage Jax. He slid forward, eyes focused somewhere just south of her neck, where her coat had fallen open to reveal the v-neck of her dress shirt. “I would be happy to meet you for a coffee sometime. Maybe even a drink. Tell you more about the firm, away from all these stuffy partners. We could even find somewhere quieter here. To talk.” His eyes slid to the hall that led who-knew-where, just behind Feyre, stretching off into the shadows of the hotel.

Feyre’s eyes widened, a lump forming in her throat. This man was her future coworker, her senior. He might even be partner by the time she started at the firm. To turn him down could be fatal. If he took offense, he could spin it any number of ways: She had no interest in learning more about the firm. Couldn’t care less about team-building and getting to know her coworkers. Clearly came for the wine and nothing else.

He could ruin her reputation. And that was something she couldn’t afford. Not if she ever wanted to be free of Tamlin, of her family.

“What do you say?” Jax asked, bending down, his face so close to hers she could feel his breath hot against her cheek.

“I—” Feyre started.

But another man’s voice, smooth as velvet and gentle as the night, floated into the alcove, startling Jax and sending a wave of relief over Feyre.

“There you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

#acotar #feysand #a court of thorns and roses #acomaf #sarah j maas #fanfiction #feyre archeron #rhysand #feyre x rhysand #modern au #feysand modern au #strictlyconfidentialau

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xoxoluka · 7 days

Text

ᴄʟᴀᴅᴅᴀɢʜ

jschlatt x streamer!reader

summary: you wear the same ring every day, every stream, in the same direction. your fans notice one day that the direction of it changed.

warnings: swearing, not a very descriptive fic

a/n: for those not familiar with claddagh rings, they are rings from Irish culture that are most commonly used to show your status. right ring finger upside down means single, right ring finger right side up means taken. look into them if you are still confused or would consider buying one <3

gummygone: what's the ring say today???

CelestialCat: SHOW US THE RING

alwaysstar: what are we today

"chat," you giggle, holding up the upside down ring on your finger for the camera to see. "it's the same thing today, i promise. nothing's changing anytime soon."

the chat was flooded with 'aww's and 'why not's and crying emojis, making you laugh again. your audience had a nightly routine before the end of stream where they would bug you about your relationship status, especially since you wore it so freely on your hand.

you got used to giving them disappointing news, although you were hoping that you'd be able to tell them something else very soon.

you end stream soon after your nightly conversation with the chat, and stand up from your desk to close down your office and get ready for bed. once fully showered, washed, and clothed, you got a text as you were plugging in your phone.

'you looked good tonight, toots.'

you smile, biting your lip subconsciously.

'you saw?' you respond, laying back on your bed as you held your phone up.

'of course i did. i could never pass up seeing your face.'

you turn red at his flirtatious words. 'you can see it in person tomorrow, if you're up for it.'

'absolutely.'

you stay up for nearly another hour talking to Jay, making plans to meet up for lunch tomorrow.

you enter the small coffee shop, the warm atmosphere surrounding you and comforting you immediately. you spot your date and give him a wave, rushing over to meet him.

"i missed you," you say as you smile, sitting in the chair across from him.

"'missed you too," Jay smiles back, pushing a plate and a cup towards you. "i ordered your favorite, i hope you don't mind." he spoke in a tone that told you he knew you weren't going to mind either way.

"how could i?" you respond playfully. "thank you."

you banter lightly back and forth for a while, until you notice Jay pause, an unfamiliar glint of hesitation in his eyes. it goes away quickly, allowing him to speak confidently.

"you know," he starts. "we've been doing this for a few months now, right?"

"like.. going on dates and stuff? yeah, i'd say so," you nod, taking a sip of your drink.

"so then.. how'd you like to make it official? about time, right?" he asks, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible.

you sit up in surprise, but a smile breaks onto your face anyway. "yeah! yeah, i'd like that."

"jesus christ, dude," you exclaim, jerking the plastic steering wheel to the side, evading the car that you had drifted too closely too in-game. you were playing truck driving simulator tonight, which was one of your (and your audience's) favorites. it was late, so your real-life self and in-game self were both entirely too tired to be driving a truck.

as you took a moment to yawn, you glanced at chat, noticing a few standalone comments about your ring. you quickly readjusted yourself, pretending like you hadn't just read the comments, and continued to drive. 'as long as they don't all see it...'

you hadn't realized that the way you drive had your ring fully on display, you right hand on top of the steering wheel as your left supported the bottom. a keen eye would've noticed the difference, but hopefully not all of the eyes. you quickly finished up the level, parking the truck and gaining the money and XP. you paused the music and closed the game window, bringing your facecam back to fullscreen. you noticed the usual ring comments, and the few people who had noticed the difference.

"oh, man, chat. i totally forgot to put my ring on this morning," you lie, slipping the ring off with just one hand strategically. "but i'm telling you it's the same. no changes." you'd never been a good liar, the tips of your ears going slightly red, your face flushing, and your small laughs as you spoke.

TheyCallMeDawg: yeah okay buddy

"woah, woah, chat, what's with the attitude tonight?" you jokingly ask after reading that comment. "y'all are crazy, go to bed." you say your final goodbyes to the stream for the night and do your nightly routine. although, tonight, you were going to text Jay first.

'they totally know.'

not rlly a fan, but it was for fun

lmk what you think! <3

#jschlatt x reader #jschlatt #schlatt x reader #schlatt x you #schlatt x y/n #jschlatt x you #jschlatt x y/n #luka's oneshots #schlatt #schlatt fanfic #jschlatt fanfic #chuckle sandwich #chuckle sammy

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t-h-i-n-g · 1 year

Text

“He looks at her like he just realized what love is.”

————

(jacob black x reader)

-chapter one- series-masterlist

summary: skipbo is a beautiful way to bring people together

Word count: 2.5k

warnings: swearing, ?awkward introductions? (Sorry if shit seems wack in some spots its 1 am rn and I feel like my eyes are burning from how bright my screen is BUT IT CANT GO DOWN ANY GODDANM LOWER)

————

When you first moved to Forks you never would’ve guessed it would come with a six foot three man that seemed to be smitten by you the moment you walked into his life.

It seemed like something out of a movie… However the love at first sight trope was rather one sided at first.

The late afternoon breeze caused a chill to roll up your spine as you walked along a dirt road. It had been about a month since you have moved to the small town in Washington.

The weeks following the last u-haul truck dropping off your family’s belongings had been rather uneventful.

School was an easy transfer. You were able to find all of your classes with the help of a student named Edward Cullen. He was the first face that became familiar to you when wandering the halls filled with unknown identities. However you and Edward didn’t seem to really click but he was nice enough to introduce you to his friend Bella, as he decided you too would be the perfect match.

You learned that they were indeed not just friends soon after meeting the quiet girl.

Walking around a corner while aimlessly searching for a bathroom caused you catch the sight of them making out rather feverishly towards the end of the hall. With a smooth 180 you decided that pissing your pants would be a better option than a hypothetical extremely awkward conversation. You also scolded yourself for not realizing sooner that they were a pair as the love struck gazes the two shared should’ve been more evident.

It took a few days to let the shock wash off and something told you that Edward knew exactly why you sputtered every time Bella offered to walk you to your next class, his eyes twinkling in amusement as you fumbled over your words.

Bella and you did click just like Edwards expected. You often became a third wheel when you hung out with the girl as the couple seemed almost inseparable. But you didn’t really mind for the fact they were never very big on PDA. Small actions were shared quietly between them every so often instead. You picked that up by eyeing the gentle touches and gestures the two exchanged throughout the day.

However, even though they were glued at the hip you were still able to get Bella to yourself. One of those times included you walking down a said dirt road, the fresh autumn air being taken in through your nose.

Bella wanted to introduce you to a few people from a nearby reservation; stating you’d hit it off great with a couple individuals in particular. She had insisted on parking her rickety old truck on the side of the road and the two of you walking the next mile or so to your desination.

You still haven’t fully understood the girl beside you. She’s extremely introverted but at the same time very expressive in a way. You never would have expected Bella Swan to be a sucker for listening to leaves crunching. That’s the only reason she wanted to hike the rest of the way in the first place.

“It’s just so satisfying,” she stated, walking in a rather funky way, attempting to land on a leaf with every step she took. Your face scrunched up as you watched her strange movements.

Bella Swan was definitely someone you will never stop learning new things about.

There was an intersection along your path that Swan girl directed you down. The sight of, what you assumed was, your landing place came into view. Many driveways broke off, trailing to different houses.

It took almost another 10 minutes of weaving down roads and passing hundreds of evergreen trees for Bella to finally point towards a red house accompanied by a shed.

Voices sounded as you approached the front steps. Light nervousness bubbled in your stomach but there was no time to over think as Bella swung the screen door wide open, holding it long enough for you to catch it from hitting you.

The smell of cedar, pine, and musk doubled as you stepped into the household.

You were met with the sight of a kitchen. Dated appliances and a wood table taking up most of the space. The ceiling light casted a yellow glow across the room. The wooden floor looked recently swept and a quiet sizzling was heard. On top of the stove was a pan with a lid; steam emitted through the sides.

The door behind you shut with a quiet click. As soon as it did the voices speaking from people you couldn’t see stopped.

Bella crouched down to untie her laces. Casting your gaze to the floor you took notice of the multiple pairs of shoes piled up on the rug you were currently standing on. Many of them were scattered away from their matches. Seemingly kicked off without a care in the world.

“There's a coat rack over there,” Bella's voice broke you from your thoughts. Glancing at her you looked over your shoulder to look at the mostly bare metal bar. A single large jacket was hanging from it.

Your brows furrowed, taking in the fact that with the end of fall approaching, more and more people were talking out their winter jackets; and you’d suspect with the amount of shoes there'd be coats to match the amount. The question didn’t deter too much in your mind however as footsteps approached.

Just as you pulled your parka off of your shoulders and hung it a large looming shadow casted from the bare doorway.

“You brought the goods right?” A deep voice rumble, almost shaking your soul.

Bella huffed out a quiet laugh.

“Why does no one even say hi anymore?” She asked in faux annoyance. Maneuvering to look at the owner of the baritone wavelanks you were met with the sight of a man leaning onto a wooden frame. His jawline was sculpted and his figure was rather muscular.

“Hi Bella,” he replied with fake enthusiasm. His cheery expression dropped to an almost emotionless one. “Did you bring it or not.”

“Yes Paul, I brought it,” Bella admitted, taking off her gloves, placing them next her jacket. “Why are you all so obsessed with SkipBo?”

“Because it’s one of the best inventions of all time,” someone stated over ‘Paul’s’ shoulder. He was taller with more of a baby face.

“You would think that.”

Jesus Christ they just kept leveling up. Another boy appeared, somehow taller than the second.

“Bella’s here?”

When will it end?? Where the hell were they pulling up from???The fourth was in similar height with the third, having a lanky build.

“Embry you literally can’t even talk,” number two stated, turning to number three.

“I’m not the one who flips tables when he loses.”

“It was one time-“

Apparently you were invisible. ‘Embry’ and number two broke into a bicker as number four watched in amusement. Paul was too busy snatching the card deck from Bella’s grasp with a mumbled thanks as he turned it over, inspecting.

“This is Y/n by the way,” she suddenly announced. Paul’s eyes glanced up to you briefly before unwrapping the rubber band holding the game together.

“Hey,” he greeted, dismissing you with a turn, his back facing you as he sat the game on the table.

Your face was scrunched in utter confusion as you took in your surroundings. Arguments still bustled and Paul just peacefully shuffled the cards. Parting the deck and making a bridge before repeating.

You looked at Bella in questioning, asking ‘what the hell’ with your eyes while you toed off your shoes. She simply smiled gently in response and looking over at the group of boys.

“Where’s Jake?” She asked crossing her arms and shifting her weight on to one foot.

“Doing some shit with Sam. Said he’d be back by 4:00 though,” number four pushed between Embry and number two. Who shoved him rather harshly but number four didn’t even acknowledge it.

“Y/n you said?” He asked, holding out a hand in greeting. Looking at it dumbly, it took a second for you to shake it.

“Um… yes?”

“Was that a question?” He quirked a brow, lip curving slightly at the corner.

“…No?” Number four chuckled lightly.

“Jared,” he introduced, placing his hand back down by his side. You smiled politely, lips tight. “Over there is Embry and Quill. I’d say they usually aren’t like this but I’d be lying,” Jared winced as the two boys behind him continued to climb in volume.

“Can you guys just shut the fuck up,” Paul finally snapped glaring with an annoyed expression.

“Well tell him to stop calling me an antisocial little bitch,” Quill stated, pointing a finger in an accusatory manner at Embry.

“They’re like children,” you mumbled.

“Aren’t all teenage boys?” Bella remarked. She swiftly brushed past you and took a seat next to Paul who began dealing out different piles.

“Y/n, you want in, right?” He asked, not taking his eyes away from the cards.

Twiddling your thumbs you hesitantly took a spot across from Bella.

“I may be rusty,” you warned.

“Can't be worse than Bella,” he mumbled, earning a light slap to his arm. A small smirk played on his lips but he paid the action no mind.

Slowly but surely the spots around the table began to fill. Jared sat next to you while Quill went to Bella’s side and Embry went to Paul. A single chair next to you remained empty.

Quill rubbed his hands together.

“Who’s ready to get shit on?”

“Shit like the time you shit your pants when you’re dad-“

“Bro I thought we established that it’d be peace and love from now on?”

“Sorry, your aura is just asking me to insult you,” Embry defended.

“What does that even mea-“ Quills question was cut off by a harsh slam of the card deck making contact with the middle of the table.

Paul gave both boys a pointed look.

“Usually by now he’d have pumbled them,” Jared murmured. You looked over at him. “Think he’s playing nice to not scare you off,” he stated his eyes glancing over to meet yours. You chuckled lightly.

“Should I thank him later?” You questioned jokingly.

“Nah, you’d inflate his ego.” A snort slipped past you.

“If Jacob doesn’t show in the next five minutes he’s getting dawn duty,” Embry stated.

“Dawn duty?” Looking across the table you furrowed your brows at Bella. She shook her head, a quiet message for you to not question it.

Minutes ticked by as useless banter continued to flow around the table. Your lips had stayed shut for the duration of it. The group of people you were surrounded with were rather… interesting.

But what else would you expect from a bunch of teenage boys just like Bella had said.

The topic of if pickles wrapped in ham was a food crime rose just as the sound of hinges creaking faintly sounded as Jared explained how the appetizer must have been crafted by Edward Einstein himself.

The door was pushed open and a figure pushed into the crazed house.

First thing you noticed about him was his well built stature. The guy had the shoulders of a fucking body builder. The wideness of them made his shirt hang loose on his frame. From what you could see of his face, his jaw was sharp, nose sloped, and his eyelashes were so long you could see them from your seat. Overall he was extremely attractive (might you even say a certified hottie).

As soon as, who you assumed was ‘Jacob’, stepped into the house he seemed to visually relax. The familiar environment calming him in and externally.

“Sorry I'm late,” he mumbled, hunching down to untie his shoes.

“Embry said you get dawn duty,” Quil blurted out. Brows furrowing Jacob looked up, annoyed expression taking over his features. Even looking like he had to sneeze he looked hella fine.

“The fuck I do,” he scoffed. “Who was the one who just made 20 laps.”

Nobody protested while he continued to unlace. He greeted Bella with a light smile and a brush of her shoulder. She beamed back at him.

Jacob had yet to acknowledge your presence. You brought your finger nails to your teeth; biting on them in a force of habit. He was rather intimidating. Leg bouncing, you looked down at the wooden table top. It wasn’t until Jacob sat down next to you did he finally note your existence.

“Y/n, right?” He asked with a light grunt as he plopped down. You glanced at him, not meeting his eyes as you gave a tight lip smiled and nodded.

“And you’re Jacob?” You questioned, already knowing the answer.

“Mhm, nice to finally get to put a face to a name. Bella’s been talking about you not stop.”

“I have not,” the girl weakly defended. Her cheeks blushed lightly at the accusation. “Only like 3 out of 5 conversations is she mentioned.” she stated.

“Yeah, that's more than you talk about your own lover. Got something you gotta declare to your new friend, Bella?” A small grin washed over your face as she stuttered.

“Well, you don’t like my lover Jacob and you don’t like me talking about him either so that’s why.” Shrugging, the boy placed his hands palm down on to his thighs, not denying her statement. His legs spread, making his knee nudge yours. Instinctively you pulled away. Mumbling a sorry Jake adjusted in his seat.

“Can we just start?” Paul asked, an impatient edge in his tone.

Words of agreement were shared amongst the group.

“How’ve you been liking Forks?” Jacob asked casually, attempting to start conversation.

“It’s been good,” your answer was short and simple.

“Not sick of the wet yet hopefully. Cause if you are, there’s a lot more where that comes from.”

“Tell me about it,” Bella murmured, examining her hand.

Breathing out a laugh you picked up a card and added it to your others as your turn came. Biting your lip once more the memories of how to play began to grow foggy.

“You can lay down the one,” a voice whispered to you. Instantly you retracted your hands to your chest to hide your valuables.

“Are you looking a my-“

And that was the moment where Forks did become intresting.

The moment where Jacob Black’s eyes met yours, the distance between you a mere four or five inches as he was previously peering over your shoulder. The world shifted under your grasp and just by the way his gaze held your own you knew he felt the change as well.

However the closer you looked the more it seemed he was feeling your emotions ten fold. A star struck gleam sparked across his irises. His body froze as his breath became stuck in his throat.

The way Jacob looked at you made it seemed as him he’s known you forever and a minute as admiration casted over him.

Your own frame felt stiff and stuck. Not knowning if you should look away or even if you could. The grasp on your cards grew tight as the table around you was now silent.

What had just happened…?

————

Like and reblogs are appreciated:))

#jacob black x reader #jacob black x y/n #jacob black x yn #jacob black x female reader #jacob black x you #twilight x reader #twilight

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beom1e · 7 months

Text

come home tonight

this, of all things, was supposed to work. that’s what you told yourself, repeated in your mind every night as you sat alone in the half-empty bedroom, every possession of beomgyu’s now missing. it was always going to be him for you. why didn’t he feel the same way?

pairing choi beomgyu x fem! reader

genre long-term relationship, lovers to exes, angst, slight fluff

warnings breakup, cursing, signs of depression

at the start of adulthood, you grew to love the year’s end.

the cold air would bite at the tip of your nose and your cheeks, and as much as you could hate it, the reddened skin was a sweet reminder of the season. it was cold enough to have a few extra blankets on your bed and maybe a hot water bottle too, and then to wake up and slip on some fluffy socks and a cosy hoodie. there was imagery of orange leaves and shades of brown coming into fashion, hot drinks rising to the top of the menu and a warm meal in a cosy cafe replacing the ice cream in the park cliché of a passing summer.

people came together for so many celebrations, families being reunited and the larger population becoming more generous in favour of the seasonal charities. a wave of students would move away from their childhood homes, only to return shortly after for a loving dinner around the table and matching pyjamas and movie marathons.

you especially loved october. halloween, pumpkin, scary movies, autumn fashion, pie, soup, knitted jumpers. and you had met the love of your life then, a random october evening on what had seemed like just another ordinary day.

every year, you had to buy decorations for your dorm, both arms holding heavy bags but you were totally unbothered due to your childlike excitement. and that was when one of the bags had broke open, everything falling to the ground at your feet in a mess of orange, purple and brown decor.

the kind stranger had rushed over to help you, collecting decorations in his arms before they could roll off onto the road. that was the day you had fallen for beomgyu’s smile and stubbornness to help you carry everything home. he teased you about your love for the annual holiday, admitting he had no plans to decorate his own dorm. so of course you offered to help him do it, and the innocent trip to a decoration store with him quickly became your first date of many.

he reminded you so much of the colder months. when you could see your breath in the air, the way the wind blew your hair forward into your eyes, wool hats and thick boots, grabbing a bite to eat from the nearest hot food truck. despite his bright personality, he had always been the calm autumn after the hectic summer in your eyes.

and, inevitably, he was how you grew to hate the year’s end.

october 11th,

‘soobin’s halloween party is coming up,’ beomgyu called from the kitchen, over the sound of water running and filling up the glass in his hand. ‘do you want to come with me?’

‘sure,’ the tap was turned off in time for your reply. ‘do you want to come with me to pick up some decorations?’

‘what’s the point?’ he turned into the living room, sipping from his water. you turned back to look at him, a costume magazine in your hands. ‘i mean, if we’re not throwing a party and won’t actually be home for halloween, why do we need to decorate?’

‘it brings me comfort,’ shrugging, you turned back to your magazine and folded the corner of a page that interested you. beomgyu leaned over the back of the sofa to see what you were looking at, a scoff escaping his lips. ‘what’s wrong?’

‘don’t you think we’re a little too old to be dressing up for halloween?’ his tone was mocking, one that you really didn’t care for. in all the time that you had known your boyfriend, he had never been against letting you celebrate halloween in the way that you loved. the shift in his attitude was a telltale sign that something was up.

‘we’re not going to cut eye holes into bedsheets, beomgyu,’ you shot back. ‘we can be a couple from a famous horror series or something. like sabrina and harvey, for example.’

‘why don’t you just get some cat ears and wear all black?’ he rolled his eyes, moving around the couch to sit beside you.

‘is there a problem?’ snapping the magazine closed, you leaned and tossed it onto the coffee table. ‘we’ve done this for the past three years. why do you have an issue with it now?’

‘i just think it’s a childish idea,’ he explained. ‘most girls dress like a playboy bunny, or just find any excuse to wear leather.’

‘so my sabrina and harvey suggestion wasn’t slutty enough for you?’ the look of utter annoyance painted your features. ‘let’s come back to this when you’re done being an asshole.’

october 14th,

the call went to voicemail again. you huffed, placing your phone face down onto the kitchen table that you were sitting at. beomgyu hadn’t picked the phone up in hours, nor was he answering your texts or showing any sign that he was coming home soon. after the small fight the two of you had a few days ago, he began avoiding you as if it had been all your fault.

you thought that things would change for this particular night.

around thirty minutes after the last attempt to call him, the door into your apartment clicked open. in came the topic of your thoughts, phone in hand and screen brightened due to movement. clearly he was just ignoring you, and had no genuine reason to avoid your calls.

‘oh,’ he looked up, taking in the sight. you’d set the table with candles and wine glasses, cold food untouched on your best plates. guilt consumed him when he remembered that it was your third year anniversary, and he had been a jerk to you all day. ‘i’m sorry, y/n, i was just busy and forgot what today was.’

‘ok,’ you replied simply, arms still crossed against your chest. it was your mission to avoid his eyes, because you knew you would forgive him if you were to take in his gentle features. and that was the last thing you wanted. ‘i’m going to bed. clean this up for me, yeah?’

beomgyu watched you exit the kitchen and go into the bathroom. you were wearing a dress he had bought you for one of your birthdays, one that he told you was his favourite. your hair and makeup had been done to perfection, and yet there stood beomgyu in jeans and a t-shirt and nothing prepared for you. no gifts, no surprises, not even a ‘happy anniversary’ wish or a bouquet of ‘i’m sorry’ flowers.

‘y/n, wait,’ he followed quickly behind you, pulling the bathroom door closed before you could open it all the way. ‘i messed up badly, i know, but i want to make it up to you.’

‘are you going to build a time machine so that you can go back in time and actually remember our anniversary?’ you laughed bitterly, shooting him a glare. ‘can you just get out of my way?’

he removed his grip on the handle, stepping aside. once inside the locked bathroom, you slid down to the floor so that you were sat with your back to the door and your head in your hands. did he not love you anymore?

‘i know you don’t want to talk to me right now,’ he continued on from the other side of the door. ‘i was an asshole. i started the fight and let you take the blame for it, and i didn’t even remember our anniversary, but you did all of this for me even though you were still angry at me. i’m so sorry, y/n, and i don’t expect you to forgive me.’

‘good, because i don’t forgive you,’ you whispered, tears threatening to fall. ‘i think i’m going to stay with a friend for a while… just until i can face you again.’

‘y/n, please don’t do this,’ beomgyu rested his head against the door, eyes closing in defeat. ‘please don’t leave. i’ll go… i’ll go stay with yeonjun for a week… to give us both some time to cool down and think.’

‘if that’s what you want,’ sighing, you wiped away at your tears. ‘and i won’t be going to soobin’s party.’

‘i wasn’t expecting you to,’ he frowned, lifting his head from the door and pushing away from it. ‘i’m sorry, y/n. seriously, this was all my fault.’ the floorboards creaked beneath his shoes as he walked away. that was your cue to get ready for bed, while he silently cleaned up the kitchen.

after you showered and changed into some warm pyjamas, you headed straight for bed without a worry about what beomgyu was doing. it was clear to you now that he had finally fallen out of love with you.

the hours you had spent making him his favourite meal, the expensive gift you left waiting for him on his bedside table, the dessert still sitting in the centre of the oven, the smile on your face as you found a ribbon perfectly matching the colour of his favourite dress of yours. that was the evidence. he didn’t even care, clearing everything away and spending the final hour of daylight in the living room alone. it was over.

october 15th,

it felt wrong. it felt empty. you’d spent the entire night tossing and turning, something in your muscles and joints and bones aching and preventing you from peacefully drifting off. when you woke up, beomgyu was already watching you with hurt in his gaze. if not for the painful connotations, it would have been sweet. two lovers waking up side-by-side in their shared bed, his eyes scanning over her features. except he was wondering where it all went wrong, and not how he got so lucky. he wanted to speak, but he had nothing left to say.

you rolled over to face away before making the move to get out of bed. the bedroom door closed loudly behind you after you disappeared. he sat up after, looking around the room filled with so many memories of the two of you. he came to the conclusion that he wasn’t ready to lose you just yet.

so he hurried after you, meeting you in the kitchen as you made yourself a morning coffee. you had this unmoving expression on your face, but your eyes were sad.

‘i don’t want to run away to yeonjun’s,’

‘i think we should break up,’

‘y/n, no,’ beomgyu was stubborn, that was one thing you had learned about him during your relationship. whether it was getting the last word in or completing a difficult level on the game he was playing, he wouldn’t give up until he got it. ‘we don’t have to break up to fix this, i want to be with you.’

‘no, you don’t,’ you mumbled, sniffling. he hurried to pull you into his arms, not wanting to see you cry if he was the reason behind it. ‘you don’t love me anymore.’

he didn’t know what to say, he wasn’t even sure if what you had said was true or false. he just let you cry in his arms, tears stinging at the corners of his own eyes as his t-shirt began to soak through. falling out of love was nobody’s fault, it certainly wasn’t his decision. he would never choose to lose you.

it felt like hours before he let you go. the grip you’d had on the material of his shirt left behind creases in two places, some of your hair stuck to your neck from where his head had been buried, tears of his own having inevitably fell.

but after the moment you shared, beomgyu was packing a week’s worth of things into the suitcase you’d taken to jeju last year and you were sitting in the middle of your bed with your knees to your chest. you had promised each other forever and you were willing to give him forever. how could he lose interest in you in just three years? how could he fall out of love with you when you were still so enamoured with him?

the very place you were coexisting in was the home you had built from the ground up. it was just a rented apartment — one that had seen many couples alike come and go — but you had made enough memories in it to make it feel special. the night you moved in, your first anniversary, all of the movie nights under rainfall, the talks you had about growing old together forever. memories that had been locked into the walls and the windows and the couch and the bedsheets. and as you stared at the person who you had created all of the memories with, you felt them all slipping away from you.

all you could feel was anger, embarrassment and heartache.

‘call me if you ever want to talk,’ beomgyu was standing in the doorway then, inches away from leaving your shared home. ‘i promise i’ll pick up every time you call.’

you only nodded weakly, your hand holding the door open being the only thing keeping him inside. neither of you knew what to say. how do you say goodbye to the love of your life?

once the door was closed, he was gone. you didn’t know what the future held for you both, whether he was ever going to come back and beg for you to let him stay. or would you slowly fall out of love with him in the same way that he had fallen out of love with you? maybe this was all a mistake and you were going to laugh about your time apart with friends in the future as they sat around your table in the kitchen with you. but only a fool would believe that.

october 24th,

the first week without beomgyu, you didn’t call. he wasn’t active on social media and he didn’t try to contact you either. it was a week to yourself, time for you to work on personal affairs and find happiness outside of your relationship. at the end of the week, he came back to pick up some more things. he didn’t drop to his knees and beg for another chance, he didn’t even ask if you wanted him to come back. you were walls apart as he washed some clothes and made a snack before packing up most of his stuff and walking out.

all you could do was cry into the pillow that still carried his scent that was slowly fading. the motivation to take care of yourself faded with his presence. you called in sick to work, cancelled on all of your friends, you barely even left the bedroom. if he was to show up again like that, out of the blue, you wouldn’t be able to face him.

november 17th,

weeks turned into a month and soon it was an apartment that was half yours and half nobody else’s. all of the bills had been switched to your name, not even the netflix subscription under his name anymore. the bedsheets and pillows had been washed of his scent completely. all he was to you was an untouched contact in your phone, the last few texts displaying arrangements for him to come pick the rest of his things up the night before halloween.

nobody broke up with anybody, you assumed he called it quits the first night he spent at his friend’s house. you told everyone it was a mutual agreement to break up, they hardly pitied you that way. some would apologise for bringing it up and give you that sympathetic frown, others would claim you weren’t right for each other, but they were wrong. he was the one for you, you’d been sure of that ever since the day you met him.

he was always kind, nobody expected it. he loved to joke around with his friends and play video games as if it was a paying job, but he was mature. he always had a logical solution when you turned to him for one. it was only when he knew you needed to laugh again that he would tease you or make an immature joke that received an eye-roll.

he knew you more than anyone else ever had. your favourite drink that he would always arrive with at the university library when you studied together. your forever loves, the movies you never got tired of and snacks you could eat until the end of time. the way you liked to be held in his arms before bed, the exact technique that would make you fall asleep when he played with your hair. how long you liked to shower, your favourite scent in perfumes and shampoos and detergent. your go-to flavour of ice cream, foods you would never eat even if you were offered a large sum of money.

god, you missed him like crazy. he seemed fine.

your relationship slowly disappeared from social media as if it hadn’t even happened. he was the first to delete the photos and posts about you, even the photos you had taken of him. you simply followed suit, not wanting to seem pathetic. although you archived every one rather than permanently deleting them, and a small part of you hoped he did the same.

everybody adjusted to the break-up, cutting themselves off whenever they mentioned his name around you. they tiptoed around you as if they knew that you would fall apart just thinking about him and what you’d once had. but you didn’t want it to be over. the lack of his presence in your life only caused you more pain, you just wanted him back.

the closest you had gotten to beomgyu since halloween was yeonjun showing up at your door. ‘he wanted me to return this,’ he’d said, holding a key out towards you. it was missing its keyrings, just a key attached to a metal loop. ‘and if you want it, i have his new address.’

of course you declined. he heartlessly sent a friend to return his key to you, but offered you an entrance into his new life without you. you wanted no part in his game, but avoiding beomgyu was impossible. you lived in the same area, shopped at the same stores, had the same friends. eventually you would have to talk, and you would have to find out what exactly happened between the two of you.

visiting the convenience store late at night was a common thing for you to do. you were wearing some old, checkered pyjama pants and a hoodie too big for your frame. it was going to just be a quick run in and out for some snacks and painkillers for your stubborn headache when you saw him standing there in front of an illuminated fridge.

he was staring between two drinks, one in each hand as if he was making a decision. his attire was much more put together than your almost-pyjama situation. he was dressed as if he had been out all day, like he had been out with somebody else, probably on a date considering he was dressed the same as he would when you he took you out on dates.

it was unknown to you, but beomgyu dressed up and came to the store in search for you. then it could be an accident that you bumped into each other, if this time was successful. he was always trying to accidentally bump into you on purpose.

you took off down an aisle as far away from him as you could, eyes searching for the painkillers that you typically bought. once you grabbed them and moved to another aisle, you heard beomgyu heading towards the cashier. thinking you were in the clear, you walked down the aisle he was previously occupying in search of the snacks you craved. as you approached the end of the aisle, the boy you were avoiding turned the corner and stopped in his tracks at the sight of you.

your feet brought you to a stop, just inches away from crashing into him. a sigh of relief left your lips.

‘hey,’ he spoke first, meeting your eyes.

‘hey,’ you whispered, gaze falling to the ground.

‘how are you?’ it was a stupid question to ask, he didn’t know where to start. all he wanted was to be close to you again.

‘well it’s a friday night and i’m about to eat a whole tub of ice cream and watch a movie,’ you laughed shortly, gesturing towards the ice cream box behind beomgyu. ‘what about you, is your date waiting for you in the car?’

‘i don’t have a date,’ the reply was simple and lacking emotion in his words, but you felt a wave of relief. it was reassuring that he wasn’t seeing anyone. it made you feel hopeful. ‘things are just a mess right now with the move and everything.’

‘yeah,’ you breathed out, then awkwardly chewing the inside of your cheek. ‘i better go, the couch is waiting for me.’

‘you forgot your ice cream,’ he twisted his head back towards the ice cream box. you came back down to earth in that moment and remembered where you were.

‘right, yeah,’ another laugh followed as you took a step towards him. he slid open the freezer from the top and you reached in for your favourite flavour. the door closing again cut through the silence. ‘goodbye, beomgyu.’

he didn’t say anything back. he couldn’t. goodbye, like you were trying to get away from him for the rest of time, like you hoped never to see him again. not a ‘see you around,’ or a simple ‘bye,’ but a goodbye. you were walking away by then as he stood frozen, so he followed you to the cashier.

as the cashier read out your total, beomgyu grabbed his card and placed it over the reader on the machine. you were left speechless, stumbling over your words as your receipt was being printed. you thanked the cashier with a smile but felt your shoulders drop with defeat.

annoyed, you shot him a glare and walked out of the store with your things. he followed behind you without grabbing his own things, the door sliding closed behind him. it was just the two of you staring each other down under the stars and the rain, neither of you knowing how to put this to an end.

‘i’m sorry,’ he spoke. ‘for everything. and i love you, y/n.’

he turned away, heading towards his parking space.

‘come home tonight,’ you called out into the dark, not even sure if he could hear you.

‘where do you think i’m going?’ he turned back around to face you. ‘i am going home.’

‘that’s not your home,’ you defended. ‘you know what i mean.’

‘i can’t do that,’ he sighed. ‘we broke up, i’ve moved out, we don’t even live together anymore.’

‘even if it’s just for one night?’ you frowned, your eyes stinging with oncoming tears.

beomgyu didn’t want just one night, he wanted to erase the past month and go back to how it used to be. it was comfortable and familiar and he loved you too much to let you go, but things had changed. the apartment would look different, you wouldn’t show the same side of you that he’d grown to love. you weren’t the same people anymore, you would never trust him the same way that you used to, and he’d fallen out of love with you. loving you could never compare to the way that he had seen you when he was deeply in love with you, like you were the sun, the moon, and the stars all in one.

‘and then what?’ he sighed. ‘this isn’t going to work.’

‘but why wouldn’t it?’ you felt a tear roll down your cheek.

november 27th,

if anybody was to ask what happened when you and beomgyu broke up, you wouldn’t know what to tell them. you were never sure if he was going to come back to you, but you still never gave up hope. that’s what people in love do, hope.

autumn was your favourite time of the year, or had been. you’d already skipped over halloween, and the novelty of orange leaves and brown clothing was starting to rub off. you wondered if beomgyu had been the thing you loved so much about autumn, because it was the time you fell in love. maybe you weren’t anticipating the season of pumpkins and coffee, maybe you were just looking to feel the same way you had when you first met him.

now that he was gone, everyday felt regular. it wasn’t exciting, there was nothing in the air. you didn’t walk around with a wide smile on your lips, kindly greeting strangers. you rolled your eyes at children jumping in leaf piles, scoffed when somebody ordered a pumpkin spice latte and pushed every cosy jumper to the back of your closet.

all that you had left was yourself. at least, that’s what you told yourself, because in reality you had everyone but him, and in reality, that was much worse.

there were so many missed calls and texts left unread on your phone, the device constantly buzzing on your coffee table. you would simply stare at the tv and switch between a million and one sitting positions in order to find a comfortable one. it always ended with your head hanging down from the couch and your legs thrown over the back of it. no plans, no purpose, no motivation, and time passing you by.

beomgyu was right, everything had changed, including you.

#tomorrow x together #txt x reader #txt x y/n #txt #txt au #txt oneshot #txt angst #choi beomgyu #beomgyu #choi beomgyu au #choi beomgyu oneshot #choi beomgyu angst #beomgyu au #beomgyu oneshot #beomgyu angst

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yanderemommabean · 1 year

Note

Southern yandere being raised on those good morals and Christian values until they meet reader. Being the apple of the towns eye and everyone’s favorite golden boy turned into a savage mess when anyone dares to mess with his darling! Perverted once he see’s reader in revealing clothes for the summer (to beat that southern heat!). Suddenly he has to pray more often since only not so sacred thoughts come to mind when he thinks of you (which is ALL the time). The polite manners being CRANKED UP when they are in ur vicinity. The oh so bold flirting! BEING COURTED by the most desired guy in TOWN. And no one would help u girl, u think THE (his name) would bother stalking YOU? How pretentious. Knows how to court a lady but if you keep on playing hard to get he’ll just have to show you he’s the BEST and ONLY option for you.

“Well hello there August!” You say with a sweet smile, fanning yourself by tugging at your shirt as sweat seeps into the fabric. “What brings you by? Needing more chicken eggs?” you ask, used to the man asking for one or more things he could buy from you or help you out with. Always so courteous and gentlemen like, even when you insist he doesn’t have to be.

It’s sweet, you’ll admit. He’s been trying his best to be sweet and kind to you, even the town is beginning to think you’re all he worries about anymore. His duties often get neglected when you’re on his mind, which seems to be every hour of the day.

“No, no, I was just comin by to see why you’re working in heat like this. You could get killed if you aint careful y’know? Jesse nearly had a heat stroke a few days ago ‘cause he thought he could handle the stables all by himself”

You snort, dusting your hands off on your jeans “Well, I ain’t Jesse. Jesse needs to learn a thing or two about asking for help when he needs it too, I learned that lesson the hard way”. August laughs at that, tipping his hat as he does so. “Yeah, boy aint the brightest. I’ll give you that. You wouldn’t mind taking a break for sweet tea or anything would ya? I’d love to waste your time for a bit”.

Nodding, you begin to walk into your house, heading to the sink to wash your hands from the dirt and muck covering them from the chores. “I’ll make ya a glass in just a sec, let me get a bit cleaned up. You get your things done today? Pastor told me to yell at you a bit if you lagged behind one more time. Think he meant it too, ‘is face was redder than hell”.

August comes up from behind, wrapping his arms around you as you stand at the sink. Your face dusts pink as he lays his head on your shoulder, his breath right on your ear as he gruffly says “Don’t worry about what he says. I know what I’m doing, and how I’m gonna do it. Anyone gives you more trouble you come to me alright?”

The sudden playful mood felt more tense, his arms squeezing you tight against him as your voice struggled to come out. “You’re like a hen, I swear. I'm not some dainty little belle, I can tell a pastor off if I need to. Now sit down, I’ll make you a glass”.

You two sit and chat for a while, August giving you stares that you couldn’t quite read from time to time as you mention how your life here was going. He was a real sweetheart, a man of manners and good values, it’s no wonder the whole town loves him. But there's something there, stirring and growing, you just don’t know it yet.

It’s a dark, unleashed beast of a thing for sure.

-------------

Six months have passed since you’ve moved down here, and the winter seems awfully brutal. Your house is refusing to stay warm lately, and as much as you hate to admit it, you’re terrible with a wood cutting axe. Never could get the aim right.

As if on cue, the towns most beloved bachelor comes driving into your yard in his truck, practically leaping out as he runs to you with a worried and dare you say frustrated appearance. “What on earth has gotten into you? Put me down!” you hollered, being lifted up over his shoulder with ease as he carries you inside without so much as a hello.

“Me? What’s gotten into you? It’s below freezing and you’re out there trying to cut wet wood that won’t burn! You’re gonna get frost bite, and momma won’t let me hear the end of it if I let you get hurt!”

“For your information I was doing just fine!” you scold, being dropped down gently onto your couch as he stands over you, arms crossed over his chest. “...I ain’t moving until you promise me you won’t go back out there in weather like this”

“Unfair game to me. Seeing as alls I gotta do is tickle you in the right spot to get you out of my way”

“Dangerous game to play to me, seeing as your touch would do a bit more than tickle me” he says with a seductive tint to his voice, his face coming down to meet yours as you become more flustered “A touch from a sexy thing like you, wouldn’t make me move out of the way. It’d make me pick you up and show you how I wanna touch you too”

You both stay there for a minute, your eyes becoming playful and your tone more flirty as you lean closer, daring to kiss his lips. “Hmm. And what would your momma think if something happened before marriage?”

“Who says I can’t make you say my name without breaking that rule?”

“Oh now you’re just being a mean old flirt. Is this your way of warming me up? Cause as much as I like it, I do need to get work done”

August doesn’t budge. If anything, he seems determined to tower over you like this, keeping you in place. “I think you’d be better off at my house for a few days. Especially since the holidays are coming up and the weather is only gonna get worse” he says as if he didn’t just act like he would go a few rounds in the bedroom with you.

“We’ve talked about this-”

“I know. You’re worried about the animals and such. Never said I wouldn’t let you come by to do your stuff, I just think you need a place with actual heat since this place is clearly in need of more repair than we thought. It ain’t gotta be a month or nothing, just til we get it fixed”

You worry your lip, unsure and not exactly comfortable with just staying a few nights at his house. “The town will think we’re being a bit-”

“The town also thinks aunt Susie's pie is the best, but they ain’t right in that regard either” he cuts you off, taking your cold hand and kissing your fingertips softly “I won’t do nothing, I promise. I’ll even let the church and every gossiper in town have a piece of my mind if they start making you upset. Just please, let me keep you warm. It’ll break my heart if I know you’re suffering like this any longer”

His eyes are so sweet as they plead, and how he holds and warms your hands makes this deal all the more enticing. What can you say? You really have no other choice, and you’re so lucky to have him here for you like this. “A-alright, August. Just until we figure out why my heat aint working. No more than that”

Oh, just knowing you’d come willingly at all is more than he could’ve asked for. He hates having to force his hand in these situations, but it’s needed! That’s why he had to ruin your heating system, to show you that he’d be the better option in the long run and he could get you out of that shithole house faster.

But he won’t tell his little secret. The plan is to get you in his home, then in his bed, and in his arms. Town can think whatever they want, but no one would suspect him of sabotage and stalking. He plays his role very well, knows how to manipulate anyone who tries and ruin his chance with you. If they push too hard for you to leave, he might just stage another accident or two.

Whatever it takes to keep you with him and him only.

((HI! I hope this didn’t go too off the rails, I really enjoyed it! I hope you did too! -Mommabean))

#yandere male #yandere scenarios #yandere imagines #mommabean #southern yandere #August my oc #my ocs

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pretty-blkgirl · 7 months

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Minnie Day

//gn!reader x Seungmin//

Synopsis: You two are separated, but you end up at your boyfriend’s house on his birthday.

Genre: fluff, bit suggestive, tiny, itty bit sad

Warnings: little suggestive at the end

A/N: It’s our Seungminnie’s birthday (in Korea lmao [idk why I always feel the need to point out it’s not their birthday for me yet LMAO]). Seungmin went on bubble earlier to say he was doing okay after what happened, I just hope he rests and thoroughly enjoys his day.

~~~|~~~

You knock on the maroon-colored door lightly, hearing the roar of thunder just a few miles away. The sun had set a short while ago, and the upcoming storm hides the moon and stars.

You knock again once little droplets of rain start to fall. Seungmin told you to be at his doorstep at 7:30 p.m., stressing you not to be late.

After two more minutes, he opens the door and ushers you in. The rain wasn’t hard yet, so you weren’t too wet.

“Hi, um….Happy birthday,” You say, handing him a gift bag and walking quickly to the dining room. You were beyond nervous, and it showed.

You and Seungmin had been separated for weeks because you had been fighting constantly. There were no objective reasons for the fights, and you both knew it.

You two had been so stressed out over work and would regularly take it out on one another. The once loving, caring relationship was turning sour as the days went on.

So you separated. Space was needed, but you didn't want to break up yet. You still had hope in the relationship.

You both agreed on a few months of little to no communication; you wanted the opportunity to miss one another.

So why were you at his doorstep at night…on his birthday?

Two days ago, you got a flat tire, right when a storm was coming down. It had been storming all week. You made a joke in your mind about Seungmin and his fellow 00-liners being the ones to bring the rain.

This storm was nasty, and you needed to find shelter fast.

You were annoyed at yourself, especially since your coworkers told you they didn’t think you’d get home before the storm got too bad.

But after a long shift, you didn’t want to spend more time at or near your job.

The storm worsened as you tried to figure out what to do. You were on a little one-way road that was near a neighborhood. There weren’t any stores or restaurants for the next 3 miles, but you couldn’t walk that, and you definitely couldn’t stay in the car.

You realized you were near Seungmin’s neighborhood and could reach his place in 2 minutes if you ran.

You chuckled bitterly. The universe must have liked playing tricks on you.

It took one more boom of thunder for you to grab what you needed, get out of the car, lock it, and run for your life.

Your car was on the side of the road, and you made a mental note to call for a tow truck later.

You bolted to Seungmin’s house and knocked on the door. You were being pelted with large hail and huge raindrops. The wind was making you sway from side to side.

He opened the door after you continued to pound on it. He wore a look of irritation on his face, but it washed away as soon as he saw you.

He immediately pulled you into the house and pulled you out of your soaked jacket. When he saw how wet the rest of your clothes were, he ran to his bedroom to grab you some of his clothes.

You planned to explain the situation to him, wait out the storm, call a tow truck, and then leave as fast as you can.

Of course, it didn’t happen that way.

You two began talking over hot chocolate. He was ranting about work, and you hung on to his every word. You laughed at every joke he made, shared his frustrations, and (accidentally) revealed how much you missed times like those.

You missed him. You missed absolutely everything about him.

And he missed you so much.

When the rain cleared up, he drove you back to your car and revealed the spare tire he had in his trunk.

He said that he always kept a spare tire for you; that was something he did a little after you guys got together.

You joked about how it was dangerous, what if he needed one day.

“You know I’ll always put your needs before mine,” He said, making your heart beat faster.

He changed your tire, and you could feel tears start to fall when he finished.

Is that it? Do you guys stop talking again? The separation was already hard enough on you, but now it would be unbearable.

You asked what he was doing for his birthday, and he said he would love to have dinner with you.

He wanted to talk about your relationship.

You agreed, and now you are sitting across from him as you two fork at your pasta. You could tell he wanted to start the conversation but was too scared.

Against your own fears, you decided to speak

“I miss you, Seung,” You sigh, “I just wanna know what we can do to make it better.”

“Anything,” He stresses, “I’ll do anything, y/n,” He puts his fork down. You do the same and move your plate out of your way.

You could see the pure heartbreak in his eyes. You hadn’t seen that look since the separation first happened.

“We don’t communicate well” You sigh

“We’ll go to couples counseling.”

“You have a temper, Seung,” You say next

He nods, “I’ll go to therapy alone, too, or even anger management.”

“I feel like I take a backseat to your job.”

This time, he groans but quickly stops to nod, “It’s a very demanding job, sweetheart. You gotta understand that.”

“You're right,” You agree, “I’ll be more understanding, but I still want us to spend time together.”

He smiles, “Okay, good. Also, I don’t like how you compare our relationship to others. I don’t feel good hearing what your friends' partners are doing for them and how I’m not doing that.”

“I get that! And I’m sorry, baby, I promise no more comparisons. You’re an amazing boyfriend, and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren’t.”

You two continue your talk, no one getting defensive or making excuses for themselves.

Your talk lasts a few hours, ending when you two decide to end the separation. You were happy to have your lover back; those few weeks were hell.

“Damn, I missed you,” He grins, pulling you into a tight hug. You laugh and hug him back, smiling just as brightly.

You pull away and smirk at him, “It’s your birthday….want your present?”

He looks at you innocently before mimicking your smirk

“Hell yes, is that even a question?”

You chuckle, “Where do you want it? Shower, bed, couch? We could move this food, and I’ll give it to you on the table.”

“How about all the above?” He says before picking you up and running towards the bedroom.

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loveyourownsmiilee · 1 year

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Talking Buddie Language: Ep 6.17

Well friends, we’re almost done with season sex, I mean six! It’s honestly been such a rollercoaster journey, one in which we’ve had great moments and some not so great ones. I’m really looking forward to the finale episode and seeing how they’re going to tie everyone’s storylines for this season and how they’re going to set up their upcoming arcs for season 7. There was a lot of foreshadowing and parallels in this episode that I believe will play a pivotal role for Buddie’s eventual romantic pairing. So I’m just going to get into this week’s meta!

Proposal Gone Wrong

The proposal gone wrong was kind of sad in my opinion. I mean you don’t necessarily need to do something drastic to assure your significant other will respond positively. It kind of creates this notion in which the other person feels forced to say yes because you did that grand gesture, which is exactly what happened here. The guy proposed to his girlfriend of 2 years by jumping off a building, got stuck in a freak accident and she said yes because she felt like she had to. The little moment she had with Eddie and Chim is what I want to focus on a bit here.

E: So what do you wanna do?

M: I guess I’ll wait a few months and then break it off.

Now the reason I bring this up is because doesn’t this remind you of something else? Didn’t Eddie also date Ana for months and thought he should keep going only because his kid loved her? He waited and then broke it off when he knew it wasn’t right for him. Now this can also possibly foreshadow his next relationship if he decides to actually give Marisol a chance. I mean I’ll go more into that later on. But I think if he does date her, possibly out of fear of being alone, it can easily be assumed that he’ll wait a few months before he breaks it off because deep inside he knows she’s not the one for him. I just feel like this line not only wanted us to remember Eddie’s been there but that it’s possible he’ll be in a position like this again.

Buck and Eddie Acting Like Idiots

The scene at the station was so funny and I love how we once again got to see how in tune Buck and Eddie are with each other. Not only were they both wearing the blue and green once again, but they were finishing each other’s thoughts once more, thus reminding everyone how in sync they always are.

E: I gotta figure out how to say no to another date my Tia set me up with.

B: Just download a dating app.

E: I did but I can’t bring myself to open it.

Hmm well this reminds me of someone else. Didn’t Bobby make a whole firefighters dating profile back in season 1? And he didn’t even end up using it. So that can parallel the fact that Eddie also downloaded a dating app but still has yet to actually use it. This was only the beginning of Eddie’s storyline heavily mirroring Bobby’s from season 1 and I’ll go more into it in a bit!

We also have Buck and Eddie finishing each other’s sentences like they’re this old married couple. They’re always on the same wavelength and it drives me crazy because with each episode we are reminded how perfect they are for each other.

E: Get the insurance money.

B: Buy a new ring and propose.

Eddie’s Attempts At Finding a Date

I really can’t help myself but laugh at how much gayer Eddie gets with and every episode. The entire little failed dating, well no I should say attempts at finding dates, was so sad. How can a man who looks that good with that dump truck fail at attracting women?? Well his little gay outfits didn’t help either. When have we ever seen that man in anything other than a Henley? I didn’t even know Eddie was capable of having such tight clothes like that lol.

The thing that makes me laugh is that he’s trying to find a person to date at places he wouldn’t normally be. Golfing? I do not believe for one second Eddie would play golf nor would he the kind of guy who’d find enjoyment in doing it with a partner. So the fact that we got to see him “put himself out there” but not really make any actual attempts really just highlights that he’s open to finding love but is kind of going about it the wrong ways. And he’s still lying to his son about it considering he told Chris he was running errands lol.

Buck and Natalia Give It Another Shot

I find it very interesting that Buck took Natalia to a bar of all places on a date. The only times we’ve seen him in a bar setting in relation to other love interests were when he hooked up with Taylor in s2 and when he kissed Lucy in s5. So to bring Natalia on a date here really makes me question what his reasoning behind that idea was.

B: This seemed as good as a place as any for you to get to know the real Evan Buckley.

L: Really? I have a few stories.

Lucy interrupting his date and then proceeding to tell Natalia all about her history with Buck in so many words was a literal sign from the universe. Not only did we get Natalia already judging Buck for his past but also questioning him when he was being honest and genuine about his past whatever with Lucy.

B: Uh hey, what do you think the tip is?

N: They gave you 3 options right down here. You alright?

B: Yeah no I don’t know why I couldn’t figure it out.

N: You’re flustered.

B: It was nothing I promise.

I think the fact that Buck just can’t do math all of a sudden to be such a bold choice of the writers. His entire math superpowers were connected to Eddie and Christopher. He realized he was the guy with the answers while looking at his Diaz boys. Then Eddie even took him out to put those newfound powers to good use all dressed up. So there was no need to mention that he can’t figure out the correct too amount while he’s with Natalia unless it was deliberately done to empathize how he clearly doesn’t have the answers while he’s with the wrong person. It was such an obvious random thing that wasn’t so random when you think about the connection to his math powers and what it can mean.

Natalia also wrongly assuming he can’t figure out the tip because he’s flustered just further proves she doesn’t really see him the way he initially believed. She was skeptical and looked at him like he was hiding something away from her. Her eyes were disbelieving which isn’t a great foundation to start a new relationship on.

Even the color theory checks out here to further confirm Natalia is not the one for Buck. Both dates they’ve been on by this point, she’s been in red, whereas Buck has been in tan/beige. He’s not wearing blue at the same time she’s wearing red.

The 118 Discuss Buck & Eddie’s Dating Lives

Once again I absolutely adore each and every time we see the 118 discuss their personal problems/lives in the truck. This was the scene we had spoiled to us months ago and it was definitely different than what we all were expecting!

B: Does she request to not come back?

Eddie’s side eye during Buck asking about Lucy is totally on brand for every other time we’ve seen Eddie react to one of Buck’s old flings. Especially this season where we’ve seen him dismiss Buck any time he mentions previous lovers. Love me some jealous Eddie!

E: So your day off went as good as mine?

H: Hiking and golfing in the same day? Sounds like you were out there looking for signs too Eddie.

E: You know I don’t believe in that stuff. I want what I had when I met Shannon. It just uh, it was magic.

C: Oh so you believe in magic?

E: I believe in chemistry.

H: Ahh in science. I get it.

B: The magic, weren’t you guys in the 12th grade when you met?

E: 8th and then we lost touch. Reconnected in 12th.

Eddie, oh Eddie. The fact that this man has had many different signs and he refused to listen to each and every one is worrisome because he thinks he’s looking for magic instead. Isn’t magic just another form of a sign from the universe? This man is trying to use chemistry as an excuse as to why he’s not having any luck finding someone. Well chemistry is definitely not something you force with another person. Chemistry is something that should be natural and organic and believable. To be honest, Eddie didn’t even have that much chemistry with Shannon from what we’ve seen. They were attracted sexually and that was it. They didn’t spend much time together on screen to make that chemistry between the two of them palpable enough for the audience. There’s also many different types of chemistry and they definitely had sexual chemistry but seemed to lack actual romantic and emotional chemistry.

The topic of chemistry was very poignant especially because we’ve seen time and time again how much organic chemistry Eddie has with Buck. They’ve been attached at the hip since the beginning and always gravitate to each other. Not only that but they’re both very vulnerable with each other and turn to each other in times of need, which assures emotional chemistry. We’ve also seen Eddie flirt and tease Buck many times throughout the years which indicates a form of sexual chemistry as well. Do I need to remind anyone of the kitchen scene™️ in season 3? So it is possible for Eddie to have chemistry with someone. I just believe it has to be someone he already knows and trusts. He believed he had chemistry with Shannon, who was a longtime friend of his. Well what is Buck? Surely Eddie has got to know that they have chemistry with each other. There’s just got to be something preventing him from connecting those dots to Buck.

B: Ok so that’s what it is. You suck at dating.

BN: Alright Buck, come on.

B: Ah, come on. If he met his wife when they were kids, he just hasn’t really dated.

I’ve been saying for many years now that one of Eddie’s favorite past times is looking at Buck. This season especially has shown how intensified those looks have been. One thing I found interesting was that as he was talking to Buck and the team, he rarely was holding any eye contact with Buck which indicates he wasn’t all that comfortable discussing the matter. The moment in which Buck diverts his attention elsewhere, Eddie defaults to his typical fond longing looks at Buck. He looks at him for a prolonged time and only looks away when Buck turns back around. He literally looks mesmerized by Buck just talking and even lifts his brows up so slightly like one would when they’re looking at someone they adore. That in itself indicates a secret in which Eddie’s hiding from Buck and that secret may very well be his feelings for the other man.

C: So he sucks at it.

B: Yes!!

H: Clearly you’ve mastered it Buck.

Eddie’s reaction to Buck agreeing with Chim is hilarious because he immediately gives Buck his patented side eyes. He feels betrayed by Buck in that moment because he’s clearly taken Buck out and he didn’t suck at that. He’s kind of looking at Buck like “Are you serious right now? You know I don’t.” It’s in the subtle way his right brow lifts up in question that makes me believe that. There has to have been a reason the show gave us Buck and Eddie on that poker date before both men started dating other women. It shows a vast difference in how successful that day was compared to their other disastrous dates with others.

One more thing I would like to mention is once again Buck and Eddie’s strong mirroring. When they’re both singing the bride song, their hands and bodies are moving the same way, to the same beat. I know it can be seen as them just being silly but even though Bobby was also singing, he’s not in sync with his body as the other two clearly are lol.

Eddie and Bobby Go To The Hardware Store

Like when Eddie was dating Ana and he was sorta lying to his son about it, he’s doing the same now. He told Christopher he had been running errands when he was going places in hopes of finding a woman to date. The fact that Eddie feels the need to lie to Christopher about it shows that it’s not something he wants to be doing nor does he feel like it’s the right thing for him. There’s something about his actions that makes him feel like it’s not good enough to let his son know yet.

Eddie calling up his future father in law for help was so sweet and I enjoyed their little scene together, especially because their conversation was very important. Not only was it important but it really did scream Bathena/Buddie parallels.

E: So how’s you make it happen for you and Athena?

BN: We got called to a motorcycle accident, it was a bad one. I wasn’t at my best at the time. Needed to take a minute. She sat with me. Eventually I asked her to go to church and we prayed together.

E: Wow.

BN: A few days later we had dinner, things grew from there and now we’re about to have our fourth anniversary.

E: So you definitely weren’t looking for it.

Honestly I feel like every time Bobby gives Eddie any kind of advice about his love life, Eddie just misinterprets or misunderstands what he’s trying to say lol. Bobby literally used his own example of how he and Athena came to be which immediately made me think of Eddie’s own past. We all thought of Eddie’s breakdown in season 5 and how Buck was the one who sat next to him. Eddie wasn’t at his best, he needed a minute and Buck was the one who sat next to him. Buck was the one who stayed at his house, helped with his kid, and just was there supporting Eddie in any way he could have. That whole line of Eddie telling Bobby that he wasn’t looking for it can possibly foreshadow him finally opening his eyes and realizing the one who he’s been searching for has always been someone right under his nose. Someone who he didn’t have to go and look for because they’ve always been right by his side.

Buck’s Second Disastrous Date Night

Poor Buck really isn’t listening to the universe is he? This time, during his other date with Natalia, they’re first interrupted by Taylor Kelly on TV talking about her tell all book which was inspired by a member of the 118 she was close with. Natalia quickly puts 2 and 2 together and asks Buck about it, in which he says he’ll explain over dinner. Once again, Buck is having to explain himself and kind of assure her when it’s too early in the “relationship” for her to be questioning him the way she is.

B: Uh, and-and that’s everyone. I think. I-I hope that’s not too much.

N: No. Wow that is a life well lived. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone quite like you. You’re all in about everything. It’s a lot. But I guess I can be a lot too.

Buck is looking so intensely at her, trying to see if she understands where he’s coming from and if it will be a deal breaker. He smiles and nods to himself when it seems that she is understanding about his past which hurts when you realize this man just wants someone to love and accept him for all of him, the good bad and the ugly.

And then they get intruppted by Kameron coming in because of her marital issues with Connor. A literal sign from the universe. (Not even going to talk about all the 3’s we got just in this episode alone!) Natalia once again thinks it’s a lot and needs a minute to take it all in. She decides then that a person who has lived so much life and has more life to give others is too much for her. She decides to leave and tells Buck to “take care” which is the same exact thing his ex girlfriends have all said to him.

Now this, to me, indicates a failed attempt at a relationship because things are never going to work out with these two. Not only was she only seemingly interested in Buck’s death, but she doesn’t even want to know more about the life he’s lived. He’s an interesting man so full of energy and love and life that it scares her and makes her want to flee. That’s not a strong foundation in which to start a relationship on and even if she were to come back afterwards, I feel as though Buck has learned from his previous relationship to not settle and compromise who he is for anyone. He’s not going to change for anyone else. Who is meant to be his partner will love him for who he is anyways. Something Natalia clearly can’t do.

Eddie and Buck Not Listening To The Signs

The end montage was funny when you look at everyone off doing what they were doing. We have all the couples together and then we see Eddie go back to the hardware store. He’s clearly looking for something and he can’t find it until someone asks him if he’s looking for soemthing.

I want to talk about Marisol and Eddie’s body language here and how different it is when they both look at each other. Marisol is being flirty and leads into him with her hips first which clearly indicates some type of attraction. Eddie on the other hand takes a step forward and then one back. He doesn’t lean into her, doesn’t prompt a hug or anything. Asks her about her ceiling which indicates he clearly remembers her from a call.

M: Try this one. Works like magic.

E: This is exactly what I was looking for. Thank you.

Here she mentions magic, something in which Eddie was talking about previously in this episode. He kept saying he wanted what he and Shannon had and that was magic. Magic isn’t real. Magic is things people believe to be real and in this instance, Eddie believes what he had with Shannon was magic, when in reality it wasn’t. They worked hard for their relationship and there were a lot of ups and downs. Marisol saying that and Eddie immediately following up with how that’s what he was looking for is so important because that’s realistically what he had been searching for all episode long on those failed attempts at finding magic. Here we have a woman telling him and he just stops for a moment and thinks about it. He stops and thinks, hey maybe this is my sign. But he walks away. He stops and looks back but there’s clear confusion on his face, almost as if he doesn’t know what fo make about this little interaction. Clearly there’s something on his mind. But he turns around and keeps walking away from her while the music says “But you’re something that I must believe in and you’re there when I reach out for you.”

This would’ve been the perfect conclusion to his arc this episode. He was looking for magic, it took someone else pointing it out to him to see and he believed that’s what he wanted. But he didn’t do anything about it. He simply walked away. Because he doesn’t believe in it. He doesn’t believe in Marisol or believe her to be the one for him. Because he knows if he were to reach out for help, it wouldn’t be Marisol he reaches out to, at least that’s what my interpretations were. Remember, Eddie says to Bobby, “So you definitely weren’t looking for it” and as soon as Marisol points out the thing, he tells her “This is what I was looking for.” Marisol can’t be the person he’s meant to be with because as we established with Bobby, that someone is never going to be someone Eddie looks for. It’s going to be someone who knows Eddie, someone who can sit beside Eddie when he’s at his lowest and offer their support to him. Someone that’s been under Eddie’s nose this entire time. That’s not Marisol and I think Eddie’s realizing that himself.

(Now if we were to get Eddie somehow misunderstanding this and running into Marisol later on, thinking it’s a definite sign and trying to date her, we already know it’s going to fail because we’ve seen it play out once before with Ana. So regardless, it’s not really something I’m worrying over.)

Finally we get Buck going back to his loft with the pickles Kameron asked for. He goes up to his room and sees Kameron sleeping in his bed. He looks for a moment and turns around and heads back downstairs. Now to me, the quick look he gave her shows longing for that himself. A partner to come home to and a family of his own.

Buck sitting on his uncomfortable couch and eating the pickles while he looks up indicates he’s still a guest in his own home. He’s kicked out of his bed and he’s looking up once again defeated because he longs to have that for himself. This coming right after Natalia leaving him and once again being left completely alone. He’s also missing what’s right in front of him because he just doesn’t listen to the universe. He’ll get there soon, I believe in it.

So sorry for this being so late this week! I’ve been sick and work has been very very crazy. I hope anyone who is still interested and reads this enjoys it! I appreciate you all regardless. Thanks to my love @aa-lionheart for the wonderful gifs 💜 We got one more of these for the season! Manifesting for it to be good for us ✨

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie language meta #buddie meta #911 meta #911 on fox

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wandering-winchesters · 1 year

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Crossroads III

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Trigger Warning: Mentions of death, alcohol, brief mentions of torture. Word Count: 3,419 Summary: Part 3 of Crossroads, Crossroads II Five months has passed since Y/N was taken by hellhounds. A/N: I think this is the final part, but who knows, inspiration might spark for more. Please let me know what you think!

Masterlist

Cold air washes over my senses, bringing me back to consciousness. The cool air a stark contrast to the heat of hell that I’ve become accustomed to over the last period of time. A period that I can’t define, days, weeks, years? I’m not sure. I push myself up onto my knees, squinting into the darkness, trying to locate where I am. It certainly doesn’t seem like hell. My head throbs, I reach up to try and ease the throb, when I bring my hand back down, my fingers are sticky with fresh blood.

“That explains the headache.” I mumble, pushing myself up to a standing position. I inhale the fresh air, I let it wash over every inch of my body. Embracing the cold, goosebumps sprinkling across my skin. I smile, I’m back on earth, hell is gone. I don’t know how I got here, or where here is. But I know one thing, I have to find Dean.

I look around taking in my surroundings and nearly scream when I recognize the area. I’m only a ten minute walk from the bunker, I’m ten minutes away from Dean. Who knew I would ever be so excited to be in Lebanon, Kansas.

I start walking, embracing every step. Relishing in the freedom that seems to have been dropped in my lap. I look up and take in the night sky, the same stars that I had seen the last time I was on earth, the moon hanging heavy and high in the sky, a complete circle. My walk turns into a run, adrenaline shooting through my veins, excited at the prospect of being reunited with Dean and Sam. God, how I had missed them. I found the corner and there it is, the bunker. Just as I remembered it, just how I had left it. The impala parked in the drive, directly next to my truck. A familiar sight that I am so grateful for, they’re home. I stop a few feet away from the door. Do I use the spare key and go in? Do I knock? I don’t know how to approach this whole, back from hell ordeal. Is Dean going to be happy to see me? Has he moved on? I have no clue how long it’s been since the hellhounds came for me. Time, was completely different in hell. I take a deep breathe and look for the key that was always hidden outside the bunker, but it wasn’t there. Well, I guess that answers my question.

I raise my hand, and knock. My heart nearly beating out of my chest, the air in my lungs non existent as I wait for someone to answer the door.

I hear footsteps approaching, and take a step back from the door, worried about what’s going to happen next. The door swings open and I’m greeted by Deans revolver pointed straight at my face.

“What the fuck are you doing? Really? Taking her to hell wasn’t bad enough, you had to steal her body too?” He yells, his thumb cocking the action on the revolver and lowering it, ready to shoot me at a moments notice.

“Dean, it’s me baby.” I say, my hands raised, showing him that they’re empty.

“That’s not possible, Y/N’s dead. She’s in hell. You can’t escape hell.” He says, his voice low and thick with emotion. Sam appears over his shoulder, a shotgun gripped in his hands. He’s shocked, but cautious. I can tell by the look on his face, he doesn’t know what to think.

“Dean, I promise it’s really me. I don’t know how, but I’m here. I woke up in a field, ten minutes from here.” I plead, pointing in the direction that I’d walked from. He lowers the gun slightly, pointing at at my knees instead of directly at my head.

“Tell me something, only Y/N would know.” He says, anger still his paramount emotion. I hesitate, thinking quickly, trying to think of something that not many people would know.

“I accidentally punched you in my sleep once, you were trying to wake me up from a nightmare and I thought you were part of the nightmare so I punched you. I gave you a black eye, but you lied and told everyone that a vampire did it.” I blurt out, trying to get it all out at once so I can finally hug him. His face is shocked, his gun drops to his side and he tucks it behind his back into the waist band of his pants. Before I can even blink, his hands are pulling at me, tugging me against his chest and into his arms.

I hug him back, embracing him completely. The moment I thought about every minute in hell, being back in his arms again. Tears well in my eyes, relief. He’s real, I’m really here, I’m touching him again. He runs one hand up my back to my neck, pulling my head into him further. I can feel him shaking against me, but I’m shaking too. It’s all I can do to stand and hug him. He pulls away slightly, just enough so he can look down at me and kiss me. He kisses me until he has to take a breath, and then he looks me over. Concern flickering across his eyes when they land on the cut above my eye, fresh and in need of attention. However, that cut is the least of my concerns at the moment. All I care about, is being back with Dean.

“How long was I gone?” I ask, my arms still locked tightly around him.

“Five months, five incredibly long months Y/N.” He sighs, pressing a kiss to my forehead. I’m caught off guard, on one hand it felt like I’d been gone a couple of days, on the other it felt like years.

“Where did the cut on your face come from? It looks fresh.” Sam asks, snapping me from my thoughts. I let go of Dean, and walk over to the younger Winchester. Giving him a firm hug, that he reciprocates. Dean is quick to pull me back to his side, wrapping an arm around my waist and leading me inside the bunker.

“I honestly don’t know, Sam. It’s all kind of a blur, i remember being in hell, but most of it, I can’t really recall? It’s almost as if it’s on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t know what happened or how to describe it.” I shrug, and he nods. Dean takes my hand, pulling me gently to the kitchen.

“Sit.” he says, nodding to the kitchen counter. I begin to argue, but he silences me with a look. I bite my lip and keep my arguments to myself. He pulls the first aid out of a cabinet, and sets to work on cleaning the cut above my eye. It’s not too deep, it spans about in inch from above my eye lid, through my eyebrow, ending near my temple. He grabs an alcohol wipe and cleans the blood away, it stings, but I hold my breathe and the pain is gone as quickly as it had come. His hands are gentle, his gaze locked on the cut the entire time. His bottom lip tucked tightly between his teeth in concentration.

“Dean,” I whisper, tugging gently on his shirt. “I’m okay, baby.” He nods, not verbally responding but I know he heard me. He places a bandage the cut and calls it good.

I move to jump down off the counter, but I’m met by his hands on my knees, holding me in place.

“Stay.” He says, walking towards the fridge. He pulls out a beer, turns his back to open it and brings it back over to me. “Drink.” I’m taken aback by his one word commands, but I comply. Taking a sip from the beer that he had handed me, I watch as relief floods his face once again. I roll my eyes and laugh, he spiked my beer. The old holy water in the beer trick.

“Ahh, it burns!” I joke, taking another sip. “It’s a little watered down there, Winchester.” Dean smiles, helping me down off the countertop and once again wrapping me in his arms.

“I just had to make sure, I’m sorry.” He mutters, kissing my head. I lean into his embrace, treasuring how it felt to have his arms around me once again. A feeling that I had accepted to never encounter again, a journey to hell doesn’t normally end back on earth.

“I need a shower, a long shower.” I say and he nods, walking with me to our shared bedroom and opening the door for me. I glance around, not much has changed. His clothes are still scatted about, something that used to annoy me but now I love it. It’s part of what makes him Dean. My eyes focus on a frame, sitting on the bedside table. Something that hadn’t been there before, it holds the letter I left him with, and a bunch of pictures of the two of us, some including Sam are taped to the frame. Dean sees what I am looking at and a sad smile crosses his face, sheepish almost. “I uh, I went through your phone after you… left.” He hesitates, “I wanted all of the pictures that you had of us together, I hope that was okay.” He hands me my phone, something that I never expected to get back. I laugh softly, taking my phone from him and giving him a smile.

“Of course I don’t mind De, I would’ve done the same thing.” I reassure him, squeezing his hand before letting go. I walk over to the dresser that used to be mine and pull open the drawer. All of my clothes were still there, untouched. Its a small relief, the fear that I had internalized of being replaced easing away, rolling off my body and being replaced by peace. He hadn’t forgotten me, he hadn’t lost all hope that we could still be together.

I grab a change of clothes and shrug off my leather jacket, tossing it into the closet.

“Want to sit with me while I shower?” I ask and Dean nods, hurriedly agreeing. Not wanting there to be much distance between us, a sentiment that I share. We head into the bathroom, where Dean turns on the shower for me and grabs me a couple of towels. I look into the mirror and barely recognize myself. My hair is disheveled, dark circles around my eyes that I have never seen before. The cut on my forehead larger than I had initially thought. I pull my shirt over my head and audibly gasp. Deans eyes focusing in on what had grabbed my attention. My skin was covered in bruises and cuts, in different stages of healing. I run my fingertips over the marks on my skin and wince, some of them still painful to the touch. I hadn’t been in any pain, besides the scrape on my face.

“Apparently hell stays with you, even when you leave.” I mutter, twisting in the mirror to get a look at my back which had suffered the same fate. Dean moves to stand behind me, one arm wrapping around my waist the other gently tracing the cuts on my skin. He presses a soft kiss to the back of my neck, then my shoulder. He mutters apology, after apology, tears brimming in his eyes.

“Stop, baby. You have nothing to apologize for, you didn’t make me take that deal. I chose to do that, for you. I would do it all over again.” I turn around in his arms, looking up at him softly. “Baby, I honestly don’t even remember most of what happened. I remember being sad, I remember being in pain, but I don’t remember what they did to me. I don’t know how I got out or how I would up in that field, but baby its all worth it. We’re here, together. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.” I press a kiss to his forehead and he nods in understanding. He sits with me while I shower, catching me up on everything that has been happening since I left, the hunts they had gone on, the people that they’ve met. The monsters that they’ve encountered.

“So that guy was basically roofieing people with vampire blood? That’s vile!” I say, climbing out of the shower and wrapping my body in one of the towels he had laid out for me.

“Right? That’s what I said!” Dean says, shaking his head. In this moment, everything feels almost normal. Almost like how it was before the first deal was struck with a crossroads demon, those two long years ago.

I pull my sweatpants up over my hips and go to put on my t-shirt, but I hesitate, eyeing the shirt that Dean is currently wearing instead.

“Hey Dean,” I say, the tone of my voice hopeful and playful. He hums in response, his eyes meeting mine. I grin, “Can I wear your t-shirt? Like the one off your back?” He shakes his head, but smiles and quickly pulls his shirt off handing it to me. I pull it over my head, embracing the feel of the warm fabric sliding over my skin, his cologne filling my senses. Home. I was home and there was nothing that could take away that joy.

That night, we climbed into bed and everything just felt right. Dean was here, I was here and there were no clocks counting down the minutes until my death. The next few days are a blur, everything fitting in place. Sam and I had gone back to researching, like we always did. Dean bitching about it being “time wasted.” But I knew he really didn’t mind, he was the happiest I had seen him in a long time.

Overtime, more of my time spent in hell came back to mind, memories that I could have lived without. The day the hellhounds came, ripping my soul apart. The fire and utter torture that I experienced in hell, things that don’t even translate to the English language. The horrible things I saw and endured, It was easier to keep them at bay in the daytime, surrounded by the boys and keeping busy with research, cleaning and cooking. Some of my favorite things, especially when it was for the benefit of Sam and Dean. But at night, the second I closed my eyes, the darkness started creeping back in, clouding my senses entirely. I kept It from Dean, he still thought that I didn’t remember anything from my time in hell and I wanted it to stay that way, he blamed himself enough, he didn’t need the burden of knowing that I remember everything that happened. He would never forgive himself.

It was three weeks after I had returned to the bunker, dew soaked and cold from being left in the field. I didn’t sleep much anymore, the second I closed my eyes the demons swam before me, entrapping my thoughts and my entire being. I would lay in bed with Dean and read, until he fell asleep a short time later. Then I would get up and go into a different room, id keep myself up most of the night until I simply couldn’t stay awake any longer, crawling into bed and wrapping myself in Dean’s embrace. He didn’t seem to notice, at least he didn’t verbalize it. Little did I know, he noticed. He noticed the darkening circles under my eyes from lack of sleep, he noticed the constant yawns that would escape no matter how hard I tried to hide them. He noticed my overall lack of energy, he noticed it all and he was devastatingly worried.

Tonight, things went how they normally do. We crawled into bed, I read a book until he fell asleep and then I snuck into the kitchen, settling at the table with my laptop, a blanket and a cup of coffee. I opened up the lore I had been reading on hell and was completely entranced in it, when Dean walked quietly into the kitchen, escaping my attention until he spoke. “Awfully late for coffee isn’t it sweetheart?” He asks, his arms crossed against his chest as he leaned against the doorframe. I jump, nearly spilling said cup of coffee.

“Dean, you scared me.” I say, closing my laptop with a soft snap that hangs in the air between us.

“You’re hiding something from me.” He states, not an ounce of playfulness anywhere to be seen. He walks the short distance and sits down across from me at the kitchen table. “Care to let me into that brain of yours? Explain why you’ve been sneaking out of bed every night?” He asks, taking the coffee cup from my hand and taking a sip, before handing it back to me. I inhale sharply at his words, he knew that I hadn’t been sleeping, knew that I wasn’t staying in bed with him.

“Dean, it’s nothing, really. Just haven’t been super tired recently.” I lie, smiling at him softly before taking another sip from the hot liquid splashing around in my mug. He quirks an eyebrow at me, his gaze unrelenting. I shift uncomfortably before I can stop myself and he notices.

“Bull.”

That one word hangs between us, he called my bluff, rather easily if I am being honest. I bring my hands up to my chin, clasping them together and resting my head on them. I can feel the tears building, fear and anxiety rising. My thoughts racing, images flashing through my vision.

“Hey, I’m right here. You’re not in hell anymore, you will never go back there.” He says, his voice soft and gentle, he reaches out and pulls my hands into his own. I take a deep breath and tell him everything, all that I remember, the things that confuse me, facts that I can’t distinguish from fiction. The methods of demonic torture, the things they would show me. Often, using Dean as the villain or the one being tortured in front of me. He listens, never interrupting, just letting me get it all out. At the end, I am grateful, a huge weight has lifted off my chest and I am tired, oh so tired.

“I didn’t want to tell you, I didn’t want to hurt you.” I say, wiping my tears away and glancing up at him.

“I know, baby. I’ve known something has been bugging you for weeks, I didn’t want to push you but I couldn’t watch you keep fading away in front of me.” His gaze is full of love for me, all of me.

“Thank you,” I whisper, thankful that he loves me enough to notice these things. A love that I never imagined would be my own, something in movies not reality. But here I am, living in that romance novel.

“Dean, can you promise me something?” I ask, my voice small in my throat, reaching out and holding his hand once again.

“Anything.” He says, stroking my skin with his thumb, his eyes trained on my own. “No more deals with the devil?” I say, shivering slightly the thought enough to make panic rise again. “No matter what happens, we accept it and move on. No more selling our souls, promise?” He smiles softly, a soft laugh escaping him. “I promise, sweetheart. I have everything I could ever need right here in front of me and nothing will ever take that away from me again.” He stands from the table and walks over to me, pulling me into his embrace. His arms strong and comforting around me, the world around me diminishing, the only thing that matters is him. He leads me back to bed, pulling me into his chest, his warmth overwhelming me in all of the right ways. I am safe, he is here and I can rest easy.

Things will get easier with time, we still have a lot of healing to do, but for right now, we can accept our individual brokenness and pain. Embrace each other fully, be broken together, heal together, unconditionally love each other, through the good days and the bad. In the end, I am back in the arms of the green eyed hunter, the safest place I could ever be.

Taglist for those requested: @agirlwithdemonblood , @deans-spinster-witchs-favorites, @candy-coated-misery0731, @ironicfoxes, @irgendwas122 .

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