#but i like the idea of her being a doctor too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ginax0916 · 11 hours

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₊✧ 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐀𝐧𝐤𝐥𝐞 ✧₊

Chris Sturniolo x hurt!gf!reader

Genre: Fluff

Synopsis: Chris’s gf’s ankle is broken and he helps her even when she doesn’t need help.

*I got the idea of writing this from their recent Wednesday video where Chris tried to help Matt down the stairs*

✧˖°⋆⑅˚₊

“So what did the doctor say?” My boyfriend Chris asks as I walk back into the waiting room where he waits with his brothers.

“Well if you couldn’t already tell by the boot on my foot, my ankle is broken” I sarcastically say.

“Oh shit. What even happened?” Matt asks.

“My dumbass got on the kitchen counter to reach something from the top shelf and when I jumped down I landed on it wrong and then I heard a crack and well yall know the rest” I sigh limping to them.

“Yo you sure you’re good to walk all the way to the car love?” Chris asks holding me up by my waist.

“Oh by the way y/n it would be good to invest in crutches for the first few days! Forgot to mention that earlier” The doctor says as she walks out into the waiting room to call her next patient.

“Does that answer your question?” I laugh.

We sign the papers I needed to be discharged and both Chris and Matt help me limp back to the car since I refuse to be carried like a baby.

“I’m gonna stop at Walgreens because they sells crutches there I’m pretty sure” Matt says.

“But I don’t want crutches” I sigh for the hundredth time.

“Y/n the doctor literally walked out to tell you that you need crutches. We’re buying them” Nick retorts.

“Fine whatever” I slouch down in defeat.

“Ok we’re here. Y/n stay in the car so you don’t have to walk all the way there. Do you want anything else?” Matt questions.

“Can you get me some nerd gummy clusters please? Oooh and a bottle of raspberry Iced Tea if there is any” I smile.

“Of course kid” Matt smiles back.

“I’ll stay with her in the car” Chris says.

“Alright just don’t be making out once we get back” Nick rolls his eyes as he closes the door.

“How you feel ma? Does it hurt?” Chris asks and rubs my thigh.

“I’m okay. And no it doesn’t hurt it feels fine actually” I say.

“Alright then that’s good” I nod in agreement.

“So how am I meant to fuck you with your broken ankle”

“Chris! Why is that your first concern” I laugh.

“I literally asked if it hurt 2 seconds ago!” He lifts his hands in defense.

“Wow makes such a difference Christopher” I slap his arm.

“See! Fucking you was not my first concern initially” He points his finger at me laughing.

“Yea but it was your second which is insane” I giggle.

“Come on don’t act like it wasn’t yours” He smiles sheepishly.

“Oh shut up Chris” I laugh again.

“Oh good you’re both decent” Nick says startling us as he opens the car door.

“Come on we aren’t that immature Nick” Chris says.

“Oh trust me you are Christopher” Nick pats him on the shoulder.

“What’s with people and calling me Christopher today damn” Chris turns back around in his seat.

“Y/n I got you the ice tea you wanted and along with the candy. And unfortunately they were out of stock of crutches so they let us order them online so they should arrive in like 2-3 days” Matt comments as he gets in the car handing me my stuff.

“Thanks Matt” I say. “I can go 2-3 days without walking I’m sure” I chuckle.

“I can just carry you around” Chris speaks up.

“What a delight” I sarcastically say.

“Oh come don’t act like you don’t already ask me to carry you around because you’re too lazy” He says slightly offended by my joke.

“I’m joking baby of course I don’t mind being carried around by you” I giggle.

—

“I’m gonna go pick up Canes for dinner is that good with you guys?” Matt yells from the garage.

“Yes that’s perfect thanks Matt!” I yell back.

“Wait I wanna come with you and so bored and you always get my order wrong any way” Nick says while running down the stairs to join Matt.

“See ya guys!” Nick says.

“Bye Nick!” Both Chris and I say back.

“So what you wanna do mama?” Chris asks, sitting down on the couch with me.

“I’m not sure. What is there to do?” I turn my body to be facing Chris and I lay my head of the cushions behind me.

“We could watch a movie, watch YouTube, play a board game or just talk. Whatever you want baby” Chris says, grabbing both my legs and draping them over his lap careful to not hurt my ankle.

“Ummm I’m not sure. But I have to pee” I say getting up. Slightly wincing at the pain of my foot touching the ground.

“C’mere” Chris mumbles, picking me up bridal style and carrying me to the bathroom.

“Thank you Chrissy” I kiss him on the cheek.

“You’re welcome and don’t call me that again” He laughs.

“Can you take my pants off for me please?” I pout.

“Oh now you’re just being a baby. Your hands work perfectly fine” Chris rolls his eyes.

“Fine me the injured person who could die any second will pull her owns pants down god” I dramatically say.

“Oh shut up and go to the bathroom babe” Chris says walking out of the bathroom laughing.

As I finish I limp into the kitchen where Chris leans against the counter.

“Hey you’re not meant to be walking you should’ve called me” Chris says picking me up and setting me on the countertop.

“I swear I’m okay love” I smile cupping his cheeks.

“Yea well the boot on your foot says otherwise” He says and grabs my waist pulling me into a warm hug.

“I love your hugs” I say nuzzling closer into him.

“And I love hugging you” He mumbles, kissing my cheek.

“Can we go to your room and watch a movie while Nick and Matt get back?” I politely ask.

“Of course we can ma” Chris smiles helping me down from the counter.

“Alright c’mon I’ll carry you down the stairs baby” He comments as he bends down ready to pick me up.

“No wait I want to do it myself” I shake my head.

“Babe the doctor said you had to be in crutches you most definitely can’t go down the stairs by yourself” Chris sighs annoyed at my stubbornness.

“Please baby? I swear I can do it” I give him my best puppy eyes to convince him.

“No don’t look at me like that ma you know I’m gonna cave” Chris covers his face with his hands.

“I’m taking that as a yes” I giggle.

“But I will be right behind you and I’m going to pick you up the second I see you stumble understood?” Chris sternly says.

“Yes I understand” I smile.

I step one foot on the first step and then the next, grabbing tightly onto the rail I limp my way down to the 4th step. Only about 15 left oh god. I thought I could do it but it hurts really bad. There’s a stinging pain on my ankle every time I step. It’s bringing tears to my eyes. But I don’t want Chris to think that I’m weak and I can’t do it. But god does it hurt. It’s getting obvious that I can’t do it, I whimper in pain every time step, tears threatening to fall. I bring my hand up to wipe my eyes but I also stepped at the same time. I lose my balance and almost fall but Chris catches me. Oh fuck.

“Hey hey I got you, you’re ok” Chris picks me up bridal style and goes the rest of the way down to his room with me in his arms. My head resting on the crook of his next softly crying. I’m not even sure if it’s because of embarrassment or pain, maybe both.

He sets be down on the edge of the bed and kneels in front of me.

“What’s wrong baby, why’re you crying that pretty makeup away hm?” Chris sweetly asks, moving my hair out of my face.

“I just- I didn’t want you to think I was weak and couldn’t do it myself” I quietly replied with my voice cracking.

“Oh baby you’re not weak. You just have a literal broken ankle. Asking for help sometimes is never being weak ok? I will never ever judge you for anything especially not being able to go down the stairs with a broken ankle. I’m always here for you ma” Chris comforts me, rubbing my arms soothingly.

“Thank you Chris” I smile leaning it to hug him.

“I love you” He kisses my cheek, hugging me back.

“Who wants Canes!!” Matt yells from the top of the stairs.

“You gonna let me carry you now mama?” He laughs as he picks me up, my legs going around his waist carefully with my ankle.

“Took you guys long enough! I’m starving” Chris laughs.

✧˖°⋆⑅˚₊

#y/n #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic #ankle injury

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yandere-sins · 1 day

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A yandere with a darling who is kinda worse than they are but are still into it.....I don't know how unhinged you'd have to be for the yan to be like "Are you ok? Like if you need to talk about it I've put listening devices in the vents but still..."

I didn't want this to go into compliant darling territory or the darling being the yandere for someone else (though I did laugh a lot at the idea of telling the darling that the vents are bugged just in case they need it lol that's a good one). But this somewhat brought me a kind of different idea which you probably didn't intend, but I hope you like it all the same!

Warnings: Yandere, Violence (Descriptive acts of murder, stabbing, punching other people, breaking bones, getting bloody, a lot of blood actually, burying bodies), Sexual Content (Mentioning of non-con, dub-con, taking advantage, doing it in the blood of victims and next to dead bodies), Mentioning of drugs, Mentioning of knives, Patient/Doctor relationships, Murderer/Admirerer relationships, Reader is a serial killer, Yandere captures people for reader to kill, Yandere is also mad but so is reader, Reader doubts yandere's reasons for liking them, Reader is genderneutral but gets lifted into a bridal-style at the end, I once again didn't compile these warnings while writing and editing so I might miss some, sorry :(, Mentioning of wanting to throw up, Reader doesn't actually want to get better, it was different but really fun to write, Long post?, I feel like there are more warnings... but I can't remember anymore, if you made it this far and still want to read it, I hope you enjoy it!

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Click

You sighed, holding your head in your hands, arms squeezed between your torso and legs. Your head was throbbing with the headache of the century. One you hadn't had in a long time... like five days.

"You're a fucking dick, you know that?"

Groaning, you heard your own voice echo through your dizzy brain, nausea building as you felt like you were on a ship, everything moving unsteadily around you. The blinding lights flooding the off-white room didn't help soothe the feeling either, and your whole body kept tensing up, readying itself to throw up. You tried deep breaths, but they barely did anything. Not like they ever did something. You were too far gone for that.

"I did what was necessary," his voice rang out through the speaker in the top left corner, accompanied by the screeching of technical issues. You whined loudly, tearing your hair out as your head felt like it would burst. "My bad," he added, turning down the volume.

"What was it this time? Double the dose, triple? Must you keep drugging me? Some doctor you are..."

"I tried something new," he admitted, a cheeky grin in his voice.

"Worked great..." you slurred, listening to him chuckle.

For a while, you gave in to the need to collapse, putting your arm over your eyes to escape the lights while you thought about the last few things you could remember. Therapy was going well... at least that's what you were told. But the nurses—ugh. That one bitch.

"She did it on purpose," you mumbled, hearing the softest of agreement through the speaker. You knew that if it wasn't against regulation, he'd be sitting next to you, brushing your hair out of the way while you'd tell him your woes. He was that kind of sicko. A doctor, yet fascinated with you, his patient. Even though he merely sat behind the cameras, watching you, you could hear the sickening affection he held for only his favorite patient in every one of his words.

In a way, he wasn't that different from you.

"You beat her up real good, smashed her face in. Got yourself into a frenzy and just tore open all your stitches from your last fight while you were at it, you really..."

He sighed. He was disappointed. Upset. This was a significant setback for him, too, after all.

"She called me too stupid to ever recover properly and I was trying this time, really! How else should I have reacted?"

"You could have told me."

"And you would have dealt with her how?"

A brief chuckle rang out before he replied, although, had you been less delirious, you wouldn't have needed to ask. You knew what he did to people who behaved poorly with you. "I would have taken care of her, as always. You know you have my unending support."

You couldn't help a smile creeping over your face, the memory of burying the last nurse who bothered you in the asylum's cemetary resurfacing. Digging out the grave had been hard work, but you had to agree with him that the physical labor did wonders to soothe your ever-agitated mind.

"You're terrible," you mumbled, unable to hide your smile.

"Ah! There it is! Look at those little dimples! I'm glad my services are appreciated by my darling. I was hoping to take you out on a rendevous once the dust settles. Maybe we can do that sooner than I expected."

"Who'd want that, you sicko."

Groaning, you finally sat up, looking down at the cushioned floor while you adjusted to being awake. Standing took a few attempts; the cushions aligned along the wall, not actually graspable, even if they looked like it. Everything about the solitary cell was so safe, it made you feel helpless. But eventually you managed to get to your wobbly feet, sighing in exhaustion once you stood.

"There you go, breaking my heart," he sighed, and you shook your head with a laugh, knowing he didn't mean it.

"No straight jacket this time?" you asked, raising your arms and, for the first time since you awoke, realizing your movements were unrestraint.

"You weren't in a condition to restrain you. I prioritized your healing over that awful jacket."

"You just don't like it because it does nothing for my figure."

Again, you heard the grin in his voice as he said, "Busted. You're too cute to walk around constrained. Even though I love how crazy you look with it."

"Sicko..." you mumbled, your nickname for your doctor, endearing only in his ears.

Your limbs were terribly heavy as you moved them towards the door. Part of you wanted to collapse on the ground again; simply pass out where you were. But knowing him, he'd definitely use the opportunity to take advantage of you, especially now that he could get a video of it.

You didn't always mind what your doctor did to you. In a way, he was helpful even if everything you two did was against any laws in this country. If anyone knew what you two were getting into when no one was looking, you'd both be put down like rabid dogs. But that's just how you two were—feral.

The sicko kept telling you how he'd get you back on track. How he'd "fix" you just enough so you could go home with him. There was no way you'd consider living with him if you ever did get out. Still, he liked to paint the picture whenever he crawled into your bed while on night duty, hugging you and telling you about his ideas. You told him often enough that, given the chance, you'd kill him outside the safety of this institution, but so far... you hadn't.

You had enough chances, enough people he let you murder, watching you while you did it and helping you to hide the bodies once you were satisfied, but you never once turned the knife on him. Maybe it was because of his studies; perhaps he knew more about you than you about yourself. Or it was because he was just as insane. Fucking your patient in the blood of their victims was definitely not normal, even you knew that. So what other reason could he have for it except insanity?

"Earth to my darling, I repeat: Are you thirsty?"

You felt the heat spread over your face as you felt called out by his question, almost as if he was reading your mind. It wasn't like you two were lovers. There was no chance in hell you'd get together with someone like him—or anyone for that matter. You didn't want the burden of someone clinging to you while you did your dirty work.

But the sex after releasing all your pent-up anger? Out of this world.

Perhaps his doctorate was in fucking instead of psychiatry, but he knew how to work every part of his body. And he knew just how to get you in the mood, too. An explosive combination, mixing his lust with your madness.

That didn't change much about your feelings for him, though.

"I'm not," you muttered, trying to hide your face, which probably showed the embarrassment you felt, thinking of the last romp you two had. You tried the deep breaths again, but the thoughts kept popping back into your mind. Must be the drugs, you thought.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course!"

His excitement was loud and clear as it rang through the microphone, and you weren't sure if you should smile at it or sneer. For some reason, you both held each other in a tight grip, unable to be separated, yet most likely toxic for each other. But he still got excited over any kind of interest you had in him and you about all the things he did so you could live out your best life—even though you were locked away for a reason.

"Why me?" you asked, standing in front of the door, not looking up. Even if he was just the voice behind a camera at the moment, somehow, this question left a bad taste in your mouth. You didn't want him to see the conflict on your face; didn't want him to know that you were doubting how deserving you were of his favor. It wasn't insecurity, wasn't a need for reassurance, but how could anyone look at you and think, "That's the one!"? You killed people, went into violent rages, and weren't considered safe enough to be reintegrated into society, probably ever again. There was nothing you had to show for yourself. Nothing that could justify the feeling of adoration your own therapist held for you. Especially not he. He should have been one of the good ones. And you weren't. It made no sense to you why he'd behave like he did.

"Why you what?"

"Why do you like me so much? I mean, come on! I mean, look at us! We're batshit crazy! This isn't some romance movie on television, we're actually doing bad shit, and yet you keep shielding me, doing me favors, telling me you love me. I'm sure there are others out there who you can fix and fuck if you like. It's not like..."

Biting your own tongue, you wondered if it was the new drug combo he tried on you that made you feel especially irritated with his feelings that day. You let him do all this stuff to and with you, but now you were getting weirded out by it? It wasn't like you to get so worked up over him; you were more of the cool type, spitting-in-his-face-type if he pissed you off. You didn't even want to validate his feelings for you, but also... being self-aware enough to know you were a danger to humankind, you couldn't shake the feeling he might just be using you for his own sick desires. And that made you angry again. You'd not be a pawn or a means for no one.

Click

"Wow, okay, you bastard." Your grumbling fell on deaf ears as he turned off the microphone. "Sure, I'm going through something here, but by all means, stop listening. Not like it's your job or anything..."

Unprepared, you jolted back as the door to your cell suddenly yanked open, revealing the pitch-black corridor that lay behind. Apparently, it was late at night, but you couldn't focus on that as your doctor appeared from the shadows, a deep frown etched into his beautiful face. He should have been a model. At least that job wouldn't have led him to meet you.

"Do you doubt me?" he asked, stalking forward, undeterred by the open door, not thinking for a second that you'd try to escape. "Do I need a reason to love you for you to believe it?"

He caught your chin between his fingers, tilting your head back as he matched the steps you were taking backward. Soon, you'd run out of space to back into, but perhaps that was his goal.

"Can't I just love you because the first time you caved in and told me about the things you went through, things just felt... right? Everything just clicked in my head, and I thought, "Wow, I want to see them happy!" Must there be any other reason for me to love you?"

Your back hit the wall just as his eyes lowered to your lips, his thumb reaching up to brush over them. "I dream about those lips. I can't help but think about you no matter where I go. In the evening, I imagine you curled up on the couch next to me; sometimes, I hear your laugh when you aren't even there. I want that picture-perfect life with you, but the moment I step into your room and see you covered in blood, your eyes showing just how far gone you are, it just..."

He looked up again, his eyes swirling with all the emotions he tried to convey in his words. But when he met your gaze, the color drained, leaving behind what you could only describe as pure, unfiltered madness.

"It drives me insane."

His second hand raised to the side of your face. He cupped your cheek in his palm for a moment, a soft smile creeping over his lips. "I like you like this. Docile, calm, sweet. I like it when you ask me things, I like it when you beg for something. I like it when you only let me do things to you. I want to help you, I do! But..."

His hand sliding down, you looked away, trying to catch it before it slipped around your throat, pressing into it, squeezing so hard you felt as if your head was going to detach from your neck.

"I want to ruin you. I want you worse, I want you deranged. I want you to kill everyone and then me, so I'll be the last of your victims, the only one you remember. I want to be ruined by you so badly that every day, I hope you tell me about yet another staff member we get to kill, and then you can use me to satisfy your needs. Can't you understand? This is love. No one will ever love someone like you, but. I. do. I understand you, I care for you. And I will continue to do so, with no other reason than I love you. I love you so much."

You gasped for air at this point, fingers grabbing his arm. It was hard listening to him, but it was harder to breathe. You knew he wouldn't kill you. This was nothing compared to other things you two did to each other. It stung a little when he said no one else would ever love you, but he was right. Not unless the change everyone expected from you was also something you wanted.

But why would you?

The pressure on your throat disappeared, only for your breath to be stolen by his kiss. You hated this man. You hated him because he was a little bit too much like you. Too unhinged to be likable. And at the same time, he wasn't at all. He was too supportive, too nice, too forgiving. It disgusted you, honestly. Yet, you reciprocated, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. Before he could back off, you caught his cheeks in a squeeze between your fingers to draw him back to lick off the red fluid, reminding him he wasn't the deranged one here.

"Don't question me again about my feelings, please," he asked, out of breath, too, as he bumped his forehead against yours. "I love you, I really do."

"You're a sicko, you know that? And your beard is stinging me, you should shave."

At this, he laughed out loud, raising his head to the ceiling. "I spent three days waiting for you to wake up. You can deal with some stubble."

"No, I don't like it."

Grinning, he lowered his face to you and gave you another peck on the lips. "It's gone tomorrow, I promise."

"Can I go back to my room now?"

He hummed thoughtfully before shaking his head. "Someone's awaiting their punishment still. You really want to miss out on that?"

Now it was your turn to grin as well. "Aww, you shouldn't have! Are we gonna cut up that bitch now? For real?"

"Anything for you," he mumbled, raising your hand to give it a quick smooch. "But let me change your bandages first. I don't want you to accidentally get sepsis if your wounds are still open."

"Surprisingly, you're still a doctor at heart."

"That's not true," he gasped, feigning indignation about your statement.

"Are you not?" you asked, watching him bend down to pick you up, bridal-style even. You weren't mad since your legs felt even weaker than before, and you really wanted to conserve your energy.

"I'm afraid it's no longer medicine that has claimed my heart."

He looked at you, smiling softly. "It's all you."

"And I can't help but love you more, realizing I am becoming more like you every day."

#yandere doctor #yandere!doctor #yandere therapist #yandere!therapist #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere fanfiction #yandere writing #yandere stories #yandere oneshots #yandere oneshot #yandere drabble #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #Yandere TW

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yizmiu · 1 day

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SITUATIONSHIP 〻ᯇ # lee heeseung

013. jittleyang | smau + written (1007 wrds)

IN WHICH ✶ y/n loved the idea of love, simply because she hadn’t experienced it yet. She hoped and prayed that love would come to her at the perfect time of her life where she’s mentally stable and ready for it. So when she suddenly gets attention from Lee Heeseung—she can’t tell if she likes this or not? This sudden attention, he was extremely sweet to her, way too sweet that it was suspicious. Given his reputation, Heeseung wasn’t the type to settle. So why was he all up on Y/n? and just why was Y/n enjoying it? She was confused with herself and her new situationship, maybe she’s just overstimulated by everything and scared to commit.

Heeseung was so desperately hoping that Y/n would show up anytime soon because currently he has Kim Nali all up in his business. He doesn’t mind the girl, but what he expected was a simple ‘Hi, how are you?’ not her to hang around him all night. She even left her friend, which apparently was her first time at Kappa Chi.

“Where’s your friend? Sanghee, was it?” Heeseung asked, interrupting the girl. “Oh—Sanghee, she doesn’t mess around, I wouldn't go for her!” Nali nervously giggles. Heeseung looked at the girl weirdly, What the fuck is she on about…He thought.

“I don’t want to sleep with your friend, you left her alone, you should go be a good friend and find her.” Heeseung scoffed. “Oh—sorry! She’s okay though, she is very outgoing and likes to meet new people—see! she’s talking to someone!” Nali pointed in a direction, Heeseung turning his head to look. Sanghee and Hyunjae were talking to each other.

Heeseung looked down at his phone, constantly checking the time and constantly checking for a text. It was already 11 and Y/n wasn’t there, neither were her friends so they were probably still getting ready.

“Yo, do you know when Soobin is getting here?” Heeseung asked Beomgyu who was walking by. “He texted me saying they’ll be late, you waiting on Y/n?” He asked, taking a sip from his cup.

“Yeah, figured she would’ve texted me about being late.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Soob said the girls were napping together so they’re just waiting on them.” Beomgyu informed Heeseung, turning his attention to Nali and nodding at her.

“Hi, Nali.” Beomgyu said, the girl waved back. It was awkward. “Your friend and Hyunjae are really hitting it off.” Beomgyu laughs. “Save her.” He jokes before running off.

“How’s medical school?” Heeseung decides to ask, the awkward tension between the two was killing him. “It’s okay, the stress is getting to me so it could be better…” She sighed. “That’s the cost of wanting to be a doctor.” Heeseung jokes. “You’re smart, you’ll overcome the stress.” He assures the girl.

Nali’s eyes twinkle when she’s speaking to Heeseung, literally they do. She was so focused on the boy's eyes that she completely missed what he was saying.

“Nali? Are you listening?” Heeseung asked, waving his hand in front of the girl's face to get her attention. “Y/n and I are gonna go and get more ice. It was nice catching up with you.” Nali didn’t even notice the girl that stood beside Heeseung, Y/n who was in her eyes awfully close to the boy.

They were even matching.

“Hi, Nali.” Y/n stuck her hand out to the girl. “Hi.” Nali shook her hand. “You’re so pretty, I’ve seen you on twitter.” Y/n complimented the girl. “Thank you.” Nali sheepishly giggles.

“Of course.” Y/n nods her head.

—

“She seemed a little awkward…” Y/n points out as she got into the passenger seat of Heeseungs car. “That’s just Nali, she’s nice but recently she’s been crossing the line.” Heeseung complained. “What do you mean by that?” Y/n buckled her seatbelt.

“She's jealous about me and you, she asked about what we were and told me I could be ‘real with her’.” Heeseung did air quotes. “I told her that if we were anything it wouldn’t be her business. And the way she responds to the primrose tweets—she doesn’t even go to primrose?!” Heeseung scoffed.

“Oh, yeah I noticed that. She was in my replies. I thought it was kind of odd because I’ve never seen her before. It was like she was in denial.” Y/n sighs.

“She’s been trying to get back into my life, which I wouldn’t really mind, I would love to become actual friends with her but she seems to want something more.”

“She is a girl with real feelings, Heeseung. Remember that.” Y/n defends the girl. “I’d feel the same way, if I got that type of attention just to keep things casual I’d probably go batshit crazy and become obsessed too.”

“Yeah, but I told her that I’m only messing around and she understood, she was fine with it at first so I don’t know why she’s acting like this.”

“Because she’s human.” Y/n laughs, “She definitely caught feelings later on while spending time with you. I don’t blame her.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re a charming guy, it’s hard to not want you.”

Is this girl drunk?

“Y/n, are you tipsy or something?” Heeseung quickly glances away from the road to look at the girl, “Do you hear what you are saying right now?”

“No, I’m not tipsy, are you crazy? I don’t even like to drink like that.”

“Are you saying you want me?” Heeseung gets straight to the point. “I’m saying you’re charming, you have this type of personality that makes someone want to be around you all the time.”

“Oh.” Heeseung falls silent. “Do you want me to want you?” Y/n teases him.

“No, but I wouldn’t hate a cool girl like you wanting me.” Heeseung says confidently. “Ah, okay. I see how it is.” Y/n laughs.

“For real though, would you get with me if we weren’t friends?” Heeseung asked out of curiosity. “Real question is, would you?” Y/n looks at the boy in disbelief, “You’re the one who doesn’t like to settle down.” She laughs.

“Okay, but you didn’t answer my question.” Heeseung was trying to get something out of Y/n, but he doesn’t know what.

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind. You kind of already act like my boyfriend. You do everything for me, you ask to match with me, and all your friends tell me you blow them off to hangout with me.” Y/n laughs, “But I just figured it’s because you like to be around me, if I wasn’t your friend but instead a fling you would treat me differently.”

“I guess so…” Heeseung fell silent once again.

m.list — previous — next

ᯇ ೀ taglist ( open ) ; @flwrstqr @haechology @heegyuwrld @wonyoungsvirus @enhaz1 @sparklingsjy @skzeyeu @euncsace @hotsforikeu @simjyunnie @yenqa @eleanorheartschishiya @ahnneyong @teddywonss @parkwonbinluvr @k1ttylvr @doulcie @wonifullove @woninluv @ilyjxdz @dimplewonie @grah127 @missychief1404 4 @eclipse-777 @heelee-01 @aerivrs @amesification n @txtbrainrot @haechansbbg @jaem4eva @rikizm @oldjws @aishigrey @jiawji @kgneptun @rikibun @arunabrak @riksaes @river-demon-slayer @soobs-things @saranghaohoshi @heelariously @blooqz @nxzz-skz @icepshrince

#enhypen fluff #enhypen scenarios #enhypen smau #enhypen x reader #enhypen #heeseung x reader #heeseung fanfic #heeseung fluff #heeseung scenarios #heeseung smau #heeseung x you #heeseung enhypen #lee heesung x reader #heeseung imagines #enhypen imagines

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fairycosmos · 3 days

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hi, just curious if you're able to answer this, what happened with becca? currently struggling with a sibling with addiction issues and wanted to get some perspective

she'd been on and off drugs experimentally/recreationally since she was like 17, but when the pandemic hit in 2020 she spiralled very quickly over the course of a few months into addiction which was worsened by her dating (and moving the guy into our house) another person struggling with severe addiction. we tried to kick him out when she got bad but they basically went out onto the streets together so we had to let them back in. to make a long story much shorter she was on a lot more shit than we realised, she choked in her sleep on aug 25 2020 and had a cardiac arrest. cpr didn't help, her shitty boyfriend didn't help, nothing helped. it was too late basically. all of this is messed up and blurry in my head so there's much more to it than that but that's the gist of it. in the weeks leading up i tried tirelessly to talk to her about it, mostly over text even though we were all living in the same house but in seperate rooms due to covid at the time. i would send her these big walls of text about how this wasn't right and how bad things were and she would agree but basically just mollify me, lie to me etc though i do believe that having those conversations was nessecary. just letting her know that i understand, that i'm here, that i know she's scared and in immense pain but that we can make small steps in the right direction together etc. while also being almost harsh and upfront about the harm she is causing and the way she was hurting herself and everyone around her. she had a doctor's appointment booked the week after she died to talk about the drugs and i do think she intended on going, but she was just such a mess. i don't have any concrete advice because it felt so hopeless at the time, talking to her was like talking to a brick wall. i was so fucking angry and upset about her situation and the way she was that it was hard to even interact with her sometimes. the spiral was so fast with her and that made it so difficult to guage what to do. but if you can continue talking to them on a human level, bringing up examples of their recent behaviour that has crossed the line, pushing for the idea of seeing a professional/local addiction resources or hotlines, then that's all you can do. i know how hard this is on you too and i know it is a special type of exhausting and endless hell to love an addict. all you can do is try your best not to facilliate the addiction while doing what you can to support getting them into recovery. there are a lot of addiction centers, support groups and hotlines that offer advice and support for loved ones - i would really encourage you to seek those out for more professional and exstensive guidance. i really hope they get clean eventually and i reall hope you're taking care of yourself and being kind with yourself throughout this whole thing. i'm really sorry it's happening to you, your sibling and your family. please know i'm here if you ever need a friend or someone to vent to about it. x

supporting someone with addiction / how to help an addict without enabling / helping someone who is misusing drugs or alcohol/ info about interventions / how to help a friend or family member with addiction / tips for supporting someone recovering from addiction/overcoming drug addiction

#anon #tw drugs #tw addiction #ask chloe #tw death

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satan-plundered-our-oceans · 2 days

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I saw your bakugou with sibling reader! I loved it and would like to ask for a continuation

Maybe when the reader gets their quirk? And how would the family and others react if it does turn out to be more powerful than his

★。／ plus ultra: echo burst! ＼。★

pairing: bakugo x gn!sibling!reader (part two!)

(here's a link to part one if you haven't read it yet!)

fandom: boku no hero academia

word count: 5.4k

tw: none! purely some platonic, wholesome fluff. of course, a bit of cussing from bakugo, and some canon typical violence, unedited because i’m too tired for that- (very little violence, only implied/mentioned, little baby y/n bakugo doesn’t need that–)

notes: this is my first fic sequel! on my old blog, i had a sequel planned out and requested of bakugo’s sibling ending up quirkless, so if anyone wants to see a secondary sequel about a quirkless!sibling as well, let me know! but of course, they/them pronouns for little sibling bakugo, and please enjoy! thank you again for requesting this fic anon!

! be sure to like and reblog if you enjoyed !

‘don’t touch that y/n.’

katsuki bakugo reluctantly holds onto the tiny, chubby hand of his little sibling, dragging them haphazardly through a crowded market aisle. despite being late to your appointment at the doctor, you had begged him to take you to get ice cream afterwards. your appointment had gone well, and mitsuki had demanded he do anything you wanted today.

he decides to let you loose in a merchandise store just off the side of the street. it’s the same one where you had gotten your all might onesie, and your favourite lunch boxes. he wouldn’t be surprised if it was the same place deku got all his merch too.

looking around at the merch, he can’t help but think of your appointment, though it hadn’t really bothered him at all before now.

things were great. your joints in your little toe showed you would get your quirk at some point, it would develop, which would no doubt relieve his mother - she had long ago begun doubting whether you would end up quirkless, and the idea had concerned her until she had almost driven herself mad. but, according to him, you were fine. a quirk would come to you eventually, it just had to develop, and he told bakugo that things would be fine with a hearty smile on his round face.

it had made him think - he would only admit that it was briefly - what it would be. your quirk. would it be explosive like his own or would it be defensive or weaker? despite thinking of this too, he didn’t really have the heart - and he had one, deep down, for you - to think of his sibling any differently.

‘katsuki!’ you come running up to him, a round bandaid on your bare arm from the blood test you undertook. you cried a little, but toughed it up, your eyes still slightly red. in your arms is a soft midnight plush, and you hold it out to him with the biggest grin he’s probably ever seen. ‘can i get a midnight?’

he looks at it for a moment. he doesn’t even bother asking how much it might be before he deflates at the doe-eyed look you give your big brother. you walk him to the counter and hold his hand while he pays for your new plushee. one you definitely didn’t need.

with midnight plush in hand, you let him lead you out of the store.

bakugo isn’t stupid, he knows the city isn’t safe when it gets darker. he knows that villains lie on almost every corner, and that he can’t always predict when or where they might strike. he had let you drag him anywhere, and stupidly he followed. because what kind of brother would he be if he denied you? that’s how he ends up halfway across the city and carrying you home while you doze off on his shoulder. your midnight plush pressed tightly between your backs. but something passes overhead, a dark shape in the sky. a shop alarm rings out through the blackness of the street. the night lights flicker on.

it’ll only take him about fifteen minutes to get you home. but even he can feel the slightest thrill of fear that sets in. a prickling on his skin.

then a bin in the alley rattles and knocks over. from the quick flash he can see, it’s not one of the villains he’s seen before, or at least no one important enough to remember. his grip tightens around your legs, hoisting you higher on his back before he continues his walk home, his steps quickening despite himself.

your head lolls on his shoulder, your face pressed into his shirt.

‘kat? what’s wrong?’ he doesn’t answer you, only slides you onto the concrete quickly and hides you behind an alcove in the storefront. he makes sure you’re hidden by the foliage hanging overhead. ‘katsuki?’

‘stay here, ok?’ he tells you quietly, ruffling your hair a little bit to calm the panicked glaze in your eyes. it doesn’t work. his parents were always better at this stuff. ‘don’t make a sound.’

you’ve watched katsuki fight before. you’ve seen villain attacks that he got caught up with on the news, as a u.a student it’s almost expected. but this is different. you had never seen it in person. never felt the heat radiating off his explosions, seen the buildings behind this villain crumble on impact, never felt the ringing of your ears when it finally bursts. no, this is different. katsuki has only been hit once or twice, dodging the villains knives that seem to almost miraculously float around him, flying in any direction he pleases. it scares you, just how close it feels now. you don’t think you like it very much at all.

but then katsuki dodges one of those flying knives, and on his cheek a shallow wound oozes a trickle of blood. he wipes it away nonchalantly, like this happens all the time. you had never seen something like this, he was always patched up by the time he came home to see you. but this is terrifying.

without a thought, you leap forward from the alcove, little legs pounding the pavement as you plant yourself in the space between katsuki and the villain. your little arms outstretched to protect your brother, your midnight plush clutched in your fists. fat tears roll down your round cheeks and your lip trembles. the villain laughs at you, you think. and katsuki yells at you to reach cover again. maybe he barks out some threat, hoping it would scare you enough to run away. but it doesn’t. instead, you let yourself be curled into his arms and you hold midnight like a beacon. your crying erupts into earth-shattering screams.

a shockwave bursts from your fingers, the force pulsating in your skin and travelling up your arms. it hurts a little bit, makes your arms shake. your knees feel weak as you hold it, the bubble growing until it pins the villain against the alley wall. it crumbles under his weight, pushing his form against the brick. even if you wanted to you wouldn’t be able to let it go.

‘y/n, it’s okay, it’s okay,’ katsuki soothes with a hand on your head, shielding your gaze from the villain as he finally falls limp to the floor. not quite dead, not yet at least. ‘let’s go home, yeah?’

you nod up at him, and the shockwave droops, it fades, becoming a small bubble around you and your brother, encasing you in safety as you play with the tips of midnight’s hair.

katsuki doesn’t quite understand it immediately, but it clicks for him as he reaches the front step of your home, looking down at your sleeping form cradled in his arms, he realises just how powerful your quirk could be. your cheeks are red and splotchy from your crying before, and yet you look almost peaceful.

he moves aside your hair, and looks down at your face.

despite knowing you would always be an amazing hero, now he knew for sure. now he could probably brag that his little sibling was going to surpass even all might.

maybe, he wouldn’t mind you surpassing him either, if you kept smiling like you had.

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livingformintyoongi · 1 day

Text

Misunderstanding | Kim Taehyung

a/n: I'm so bad with titles lol. At least you get the idea a bit :). In one part it is mentioned that Y/N is not a public figure like Taehyung, even though she is a chaebol. This is because her family is somewhat like that of Samsung's owners, they keep their children's identities secret until they make their own place in the company.

Summary: It's basically your reaction to hearing about the dating rumours between Taehyung and Jennie while the two of you are still in a relationship. And obviously, he is trying to fix things as quickly as possible.

wc: 2.9k (I didn't think it would be so long honestly).

When you started dating Taehyung, you never thought it would be a big problem. You knew that his schedule was complicated, but you didn't have any drama with that because yours was pretty much the same. You also knew that you wouldn't be a public couple because of the criticism you might get, but that was even better for you because you didn't like being in the public eye either. Problems on tour? Phones were there for a reason, not being able to have children? You were too young, can’t go out in public? Loved the cozy, private dates, little quality time together? Even better! Every moment with him would feel even more special because of how exclusive it was. Yes, you were willing to accept all these disadvantages because you never saw them as an insurmountable problem. At least until now.

You and Taehyung started dating in 2020, during the pandemic. You met him at the concert in cooperation with Lotte Duty Free, one of the companies your father founded, because yes, you were the youngest daughter of the Shin, the family in charge of the Lotte company and all its subsidiaries.

The two of you got along very well while preparing for the concert, so you decided to exchange numbers to keep in touch. It only took a few months before you started dating him officially, and you were very happy at first.

His schedule was busy, of course, but he had time for you. He would greet you with a big smile, hug you from behind, and take you to the dining room where he had a whole show set up for you. Jazz in the background, scented candles, rose petals everywhere, and two plates of food of dubious origin that you would enjoy anyway because your boyfriend made it.

You were willing to put up with all those cons if he gave you moments like this every chance he got, moments where it was just you and him.

Once the pandemic was over and your schedule returned to normal, things got complicated.

And no, time, work, dating, none of that was the problem, because it didn't even have anything to do with you two as a couple.The problems were caused by a third person. Kim Jennie, one of the members of Blackpink and one of the most beautiful women you will ever meet.

You never had any problems with her. You had bumped into her once or twice in the hallway on your way backstage, but obviously she wouldn't recognize you, you were always covered from head to toe.You thought that your friend had the same relationship with her, something casual that couldn't even be called a friendship because you barely said hello to each other when you were together, in fact Taehyung never looked at anyone when he was with you.So why did this happen now?

Your boyfriend was on tour and it was the time of his concert, so you couldn't just call him and ask him about it. You looked at the screen of your cell phone for the sixth time, the headline in big, dark letters seemed to mock your feelings.

"Dispatch confirms, V of BTS and Jennie of Blackpink are in a relationship," you muttered to yourself, trying to get your brain to catch the words, to process them, to react. It didn't.

You scrolled down the page until you stopped at the myriad of photos they had as proof. None of them looked doctored.

You saw the blue short-sleeved shirt with flowers that Taehyung was wearing in the photo and put your phone down to go to the closet you shared. You pulled out all of his clothes until you found it. You grabbed it and crumpled it in your hands.

Only then did you burst into tears. You covered your eyes with your shirt and screamed until you felt your throat couldn't take it anymore. Your heart hurt so much that you even had trouble breathing.

You looked around the room you both shared, trying to understand why he would do this to you. You thought you were fine, everything seemed fine, so why were there hundreds of videos and pictures of your boyfriend with another girl? You felt like all these people were making fun of you by being happy for them. What about you, why don't they think about his real girlfriend who had to put up with years of being locked away in secret while these two were fearlessly dating?

The sadness soon turned to anger, and it wasn't long before you got up and grabbed the biggest suitcase you could find, whether it was his or yours.

You stuffed it with as many clothes as you could, taking your time because you knew he wasn't coming. You lifted the suitcase as high as you could and carried it into the living room. You looked at every single picture of the two of you as a couple. Another few tears fell from your eyes and you let them out as you took the frames and threw them away.

You threw out everything you could. Mugs, matching pajamas, pictures, rings, absolutely everything. When you were done, your eyes were dry and your head hurt too much, but you didn't care. You grabbed your suitcase and headed for the door.

The only thing that stopped you from leaving was Yeontan, who stood in the doorway, staring at you while wagging his tail from side to side.

"Tannie, mommy has to go do something, okay?" you nuzzled behind his ear and sobbed softly. You knew he wouldn't understand. "Don't worry, I'll visit you every day until your owner comes."

You stood up, took a breath, and walked away. You didn't know where you were going, but that apartment was no longer an option.

You stood in front of the buildings where you lived and watched for taxis to pass by. Just then you received a phone call. For a moment you thought it would be Taehyung, but no, it was just Jimin's girlfriend, Soyeon, to whom you had become very close over the past years.

"Yes?" you mumbled hoarsely.

"Honey, it's me, Soyeonie," she said in a much calmer voice than usual. She was probably aware of your situation. "I read the news, are you okay?" You opened your mouth to reply, but she interrupted you so quickly that you didn't have time to say anything, "Of course you're not," she sighed, remaining silent for a few seconds, "Look, I know maybe I shouldn't pry, but I understand that you're hurting and the last thing you want is to be in a place full of... him."

You sob softly, wiping your cheeks as quickly as the first tears came.

"I haven't sold my old apartment yet, it has some furniture, enough to live decently, why don't you stay there for a few weeks?"

"Soyeon-ah," you cried, wanting to hug her until you fell asleep. That's what you needed, a long nap.

"Relax, everything’s gonna be okay, Unnie will come and see you there, I'll send you the address, just wait."

"Okay," you nodded, even though you knew she couldn't see you, "thanks."

"It's nothing."

And she hung up.

You looked around. It was full of cars and buildings that looked too big.

You felt so stupid as you mentally wished that Taehyung was here to comfort you.

You saw a taxi coming your way and you made it stop. You weren't sure if this would be the end of your relationship, you were willing to hear his side, but you weren't willing to have to live with him or a place filled with his presence.

This was best for you.

Taehyung called you the next day, about twenty times, not counting messages. You didn't answer any of them, mostly because you were asleep until 4 pm. You had a hard time falling asleep. Every time you closed your eyes, you could see the two of them holding hands, together in the car, on a date to some kind of zoo. You cried every time your brain projected those images.

Your phone rang for the 21st time. You were still a little groggy from sleep, but you answered it anyway.

"Y/N!" You turned the phone away from your ear. It was too painful to hear his voice so loud with the headache you were feeling, "Oh God, I was so afraid something bad had happened to you. I called the girls, but none of them knew anything about you, so I got worried and..."

"Why did you call me?" you asked curtly. You thought maybe you were being a little cruel, but you didn't care. Answering him like that wouldn't make him feel a thousandth of the pain you felt and still feel since last night.

He was silent for a few seconds. You'd never answered him like that before, you guessed that's why he was so quiet.

"I..." he cleared his throat, sounding a little more tense than when you answered him, "I was a little worried, my manager told me about the news and I thought maybe you were feeling a little depressed-".

You interrupted him again, but this time with a mocking laugh, "A little depressed? Is that how you think I felt? A little depressed?" you laughed again. You had completely woken up this time, "Tell me, Kim, how would you feel if overnight it was all over the news that I was dating an idol? Huh? What would you do if this news came to you on the fucking Dispatch, while I was on the other fucking side of the world enjoying a concert? Would you be a little depressed? A little hurt? Would you even have taken the fucking trouble to answer my calls?" you began to raise your voice with every word you said. You didn't even notice at what point your voice broke. "You have no idea what I'm going through, and you never will, because unlike you I'm not a public figure! I could be fucking any man in Korea and you're never going to see an internet media outlet post it and 'celebrate' my relationship, you're never going to see any fan of mine go on social media and celebrate my relationship with someone else while you're behind the curtains" You sobbed, wiping your cheeks awkwardly.

"Honey, I know it's-"

"Don't you dare call me like that" you growled, clenching your jaw, "I don't even want to hear you say my name, do you understand?"

"Y/N" he muttered, his voice trembling. You assumed that at some point in your verbal vomit he had started to cry, "Just give me 1 minute, I'll explain everything, I promise."

You tried to control your anger by taking a big breath of air, it worked enough to stop you from sending him to fuck off... for the second time.

"Do you want me to listen to you?" you mumble, looking down at your hands, remembering all the times he came home late, wondering if all those times he was at her house, doing god knows what while you tried to stay awake just to see him before bed.

"Y-yes, please, I just need a minute".

"Fine," you smiled half-heartedly, "then come and explain it to me in person. If you're really sorry and say it's a misunderstanding, come here and tell me."

Your more conscientious side chided you for your request. It was his job, you couldn't just order him to make a trip from the United States to Korea just for you. Maybe that's why you gave him that condition. You knew he wouldn't come all this way just for you.

The line went silent, you could barely hear his breathing. You ended your conversation.

"I thought so," muttering much calmer than at the beginning, "I guess Soyeon was right in saying that the only one who would have to make sacrifices for our relationship would be me."

And you cut the call short.

You put your phone on airplane mode and plopped down on your bed, ready to go back to sleep for the rest of the weekend.

It had been a day since you heard the news, barely 17 hours since you last spoke to Taehyung, because yes, you counted the hours. You hadn't eaten anything, you'd barely had a glass of water, and the only thing you felt like doing right now was taking a very long shower and then crying yourself to sleep. Yes, it sounded like the perfect plan to try to get over your ex, if that's what you could call it.

You got in the tub at 10am, didn't get out until 12:30, and when you did you could barely feel your fingers and toes. At least your muscles had finally relaxed.

You dressed more slowly than usual, in just your pajamas, the only ones that weren't your partner's, and went to bed.

Until the doorbell rang.

You changed direction, confused. You were sure that no one besides Soyeon knew you were here. It crossed your mind that maybe she was worried about you and that's why you'd decided to open up and politely turn her away.

Except she wasn't the one waiting for you on the other side.

"Y/N," Taehyung said, trying to regulate his breathing. "You really were here," he whispered, entering the flat and closing behind him. It wasn't until the door rattled that his arms wrapped around you so tightly that you almost stopped breathing. "Why did you leave home? I got so worried when I saw our stuff in the trash and the wardrobe almost empty" he cupped your cheeks, inspecting your face.

You didn't understand what exactly was going on.

"What are you doing here?" you mumbled, letting him search your face.

"You told me to come" he looked into your eyes and, almost instantly, his eyes began to fill with tears. "I couldn't let you because a misunderstanding made you hate me to the point of breaking up with me, I... I don't want to be without you, at this point I don't think I can be," he bent down until he could place his forehead against yours, his thumbs caressing the skin of your cheeks, "You're the best thing that ever happened to me, I don't plan on losing you over something stupid like this."

You looked at Taehyung, still not understanding what he was trying to say.

"The pictures are real" he exhaled deeply, "but it's not like you think" he pulled his phone out of his trousers pocket. His hands were shaking slightly. You wanted to hold them, but you completely erased the thought, "We dated for a few months, it was a very short thing, about two or three months before we met".

He showed you some conversations from a few years ago. He was asking her to bring him the shoes he had left at her house last time, and that he would appreciate it if she would bring the leash they had bought Yeontan. You also saw the last messages they sent to each other, it was only a few days ago.

Jennie told him that someone had hacked into her phone and most likely found the pictures they took the time they went to the zoo. She apologized and sent him stickers of crying puppies, saying that the lawsuit against the hacker had already started and that she would try to speed up the process so that he wouldn't be affected.

"I totally understand how angry you were, and obviously I also understand that you want to talk about this face-to-face, so I took the first flight I could find so I could come talk to you and-".

You didn't let him finish. You couldn't do that, not after everything you've been feeling the last few days. So you did the only thing you could think of since he came into the flat. You kissed him.

It was much more awkward than your kisses usually are, but you didn't care. You were so relieved that it was all a misunderstanding that no matter what kind of kiss it was, it would still be amazing to you.

He followed your kiss as soon as he came out of his surprise. He clung to you as if his life depended on it. He was the one who deepened the kiss and lifted you off the floor so he could kiss you better.

"I'm so sorry" you whispered in the middle of the messy kisses he was giving you, "sorry for doubting you" you sobbed softly, hugging his neck with all your strength.

He shook his head, holding your cheeks, "Don't apologise, it was a normal reaction, you said it yourself, I wouldn't have even answered your calls if I had been in your place" he kissed your shoulder softly, letting out a soft sigh. It felt so good to have you with him after all the tension he experienced during the flight.

"You were right about everything you said" he murmured, pulling away enough to look you in the eye, "so please don't apologize to me".

You nodded a little calmer, closing your eyes as you felt Taehyung's nose on yours.

"Now let's go get your things, I don't want to go back inside the house and not see your things in it."

Masterlist.

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ivaspinoza · 2 days

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Does a writer love to write?

Oh, to be a writer! A poet, an artist. What a blessing — or a curse? I said this before, as a joke, that "writers are cursed to write, no matter what" happens or how long it takes between intervals. Writers will write. They might struggle, mostly inside their own heads, but they will write. And they will feel accomplished for doing that.

During my block time, I used to try and try to write, not because I had to, but because I couldn't help but to keep trying and writing the weirdest words, absolutely nonsense shit — until one day, I went back on track. Not writing was never an option. I tried to give up this, many times when I was at a bad place mentally. I felt that I wasn't a writer because I wasn't writing, but this only led me to this previously shared conclusion I keep as a mantra:

"I do not write because I want to be a writer, I write because I am one."

Some people will lick an artist's shoes and treat them as their saviour. This is the same type of people who might think having a degree makes them automatically smart, that every doctor knows what they are doing, and that artists are somehow a superior class of people. I was talking with my beloved @goodluckclove about it today (the main reason I'm writing this), about how being an Artist, or a Writer, is just another job, like being a Teacher, a Baker, a Parent, a CEO or a Janitor. Some artists will even tell you they had no "talent" at all, they just decided to commit and learn. I can draw and I always tell people that it is pure muscle memory. Just practice. Just commit.

But there is also that sparkle, that inspiration, that epiphany, right? That thing that art causes. What makes some works of art shine and hit you with eternal impact? Just practice? This is a long, deep, crazy, boring, infinite debate, but to me the answer is simple.

It's the soul.

That's why AI will never be able to do it. The soul carries memory, information, patterns, feelings, mysteries, and language (unspoken, holy, different languages, that we don't know much about). Some works are technically fantastic but soulless. Some are full of soul, but lack skill. However, the soul is always a part of it, as it is for a doctor when their soul shakes in grief after putting everything they had in for a 72-hour surgery just to lose their patient. Everything goes through the soul. Have you met a soulless doctor? I have.

What about a teacher helping a student to overcome their difficulties? A mother in a 72-hour labour to deliver her baby, with a father who didn't leave her side? Parents that actually take their time and energy to raise conscious, cared for and loved human beings? When a CEO thinks of what is best for the team, and comes up with a brilliant idea, instead of just caring about money? When a janitor makes a place clean and tidy for others, instead of neglecting it? It is not the job itself that is important, but the motivation, the intention, and the heart behind it. That is what makes it valuable.

Our trades will always affect the ones around us. Human nature is deeply connected to the desire to be useful and serve. Not to be stuck at this point forever, but to me, a big reason for so much pain and depression in the modern world is how self-centred our culture pushes us to be. "All about me"! Too much thinking in your head will make you crazy (I would know). But when we are useful, we find peace and rest from ourselves, we connect, and we are in reality, grounded in the present.

Will you love it every time? Nope. Not naturally. But do we have to hate it?

As an artist, poetess, writer, I can tell you that I didn't always love to do it. Sometimes, it was painful. Sometimes, it brings me physical discomfort or it can be disturbing because of my own limitations and issues — the artist himself is in his work (I will die on this hill, because of the soul). But I don't believe and I won't ever advocate for the tortured artist figure, for the "I hate being a poet", although I can't think I ever got these words from any poet.

"I hate making art!" "I hate my kids!" "I hate to live!"

I think it's time to wake up to the levels of desensitisation we have come to. These contemporary times unfold in absolute glorification of evil as if everything painful and ugly was "more artistic". We don't have to avoid hard themes and make it taboo out of them, but we do need a counterbalance. We also need responsibility and honesty when choosing our themes and our artistic or literary approach. And we do need to stop hating things all the time. We need a mature creative world.

It is easier and faster to break than it is to build. It's easier to hurt than to heal. Look around. We have almost nothing left to "break" at this point. I'm in search of beauty again. Out with lanterns. The beauty in you and in me. Not for the glorification of the artist, or of the art itself, but for the Love that keeps me going, that designed me for a particular job, and that I plan to execute in love.

"Let all you do be done in love", it's written. But because I know Love is not only feeling, even when I don't feel like doing it, I will go back into Love, into humility, and do it to the best of my strength. I will do it so that when I have the opportunity to serve someone by it, they feel love. We put our soul into it, and it's not an aesthetic, not a fancy ethereal trend; there is no need for applause. I will do it like that because in that doing is the reward itself, not in the praise or the prize.

All is vanity. Love is the reward.

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ultramarine-spirit · 1 year

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Can I ask you something? I'm making a modern au fanfic and I was thinking what Athanasia would study / work and I can't think of anything. I know she likes to study, so I think it would be easy for Athy to choose one of these majors where people studies a lot (medicine, law, engineering...) but I don't know which of them best suits her personality.

I'm biased because I'm a law graduate, but hear me out, I think law really fits Athy. It's a super academically intensive career, which sounds like something she would be into. It's also very associated with power (and I guess to some extent with ruling, lots of people in positions of power are lawyers, including heads of state), which I think is the best translation of the kind of duties she fulfills as crown princess without making her literally modern royalty (I like fictional and historical royal figures, modern ones... not so much lol). Also, Athy genuinely is someone who cares a lot about things like justice and fairness, so I can see her being interested in that romantic idea of law that most first year students have (before discovering the hell they got themselves into /j). And this might be just me, but when Athy talked back to Anastasius in the empress arc, and then exposed his real colors to the nobles, that sounded just like the closing arguments of a really good prosecutor.

#wmmap #medicine is interesting! i don't see a connection with Athy's canon character (that would be Lucas who is always healing useless dads lol)#but i like the idea of her being a doctor too #a medical drama with doctor Lucas and doctor Athy called 'Obelia Med'... sounds cool actually #making her a sort of CEO is really popular in the fandom cuz i guess people think Claude would be a CEO and because of those k-dramas #(why tho?? Obelia is a country and empire not a company. Unless they think conglomerate = empire??)#but i dont like it LMAO Athy spent one life living in frugality another life in extreme poverty i'm sure she hates korean CEOs the most #c'mon Athy loves to study loves to learn new things she fits the scholar type of character! Not a useless CEO lmao

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dykepaldi · 7 months

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got 12clara on the brain do we all agree the cloisters confession involved them having some sort of time lord psychic exchange

idk if this is something other people have thought about, obviously they said they love each other normal style as well but i feel like there arent gonna be any words that could scratch the surface of the Everything

itd be the most emotionally intense thing either of them had ever experienced like 1000 acid trips at once but all that remains of it in the doctor’s mind is a beautiful song. clara, on the other hand, gets 4.5 billion years worth of suffering beamed into her mind in a matter of seconds and goes absolutely batshit insane (moreso than she already was)

#*person whos done acid once voice* woah itd be just like doing acid #post hell bent clara being properly evil is a really fun idea i dont think about it enough #but it makes sense right #she became more and more like the doctor in the worst ways #and now the person she cares about infinitely more than anything else is gone #and its not like ashildr will be the compassionate human companion to stop her doing genocides #twelveclara #going back to my original point this is def something ive accepted to be true basically since the episode comes out #i feel like they would have done psychic stuff all the time anyway like clara was flying the tardis and shit she could do that too #but every time theyd both have big massive vault doors with a billion locks stopping any kind of feelings getting out lmao #maybe psychic time lord stuff is a metaphor for sex maybe not up to you #fresh n sexy dr who tag #mine

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jopzer · 9 months

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so. roy's sister is very clearly a decent chunk younger than him. sofia barclay and brett goldstein are like ten years apart which leads me to the point: do you guys think she was born after roy went to sunderland. and if so do you think thats maybe a little bit why hes So close with phoebe....... was so excited for his little sister and then he was fucken Not Around for her whole childhood and then when they really connect as adults, she wants roy as part of her daughter's life even if he's a little iffy about the idea because hes like a 30 year old grouch who doesnt know fuck about kids

#roy kent #ted lasso #phoebe ted lasso #phoebe kent #phoebe o’sullivan #doctor o'sullivan #could be either tbh #got dangerous amount of roy kent on the brain today.#i know the common hc is to call his sister ruth but i like calling her ruby #if you hear me out it can be both.#they called her ruthie growing up but when she was a baby she couldn't quite get 'th' so she called herself ruby #and it stuck #we all win. holding hands and spinning.#anyway.#i am kind of obsessed with the idea that ruby and roy were estranged for a long time #like she grew up Knowinf about her brother the footballer #he came home for holidays and called on her birthday #but roy was Just as much of a shithead as jamie don't even TRYYYYY #i can very clearly see him being like. hey kid love you but i'm too busy being 20 and sexy and famous #to spend actual real bonding time with an eleven year old #cause he's clearly got a weird relationship with his parents also #the only time we hear about them is like. yeah my dad is old of course he's a little racist #the rest of the time it's about his grandfather #so idk i think they were estranged for a long time and then when they're both Grown Up #ruby is with some dickhead who gets her pregnant and splits and roy is like.#do you want me to kill that guy. i'll kill that guy for you. sounds like he sucks.#i also think he'd come to ruby's bat mitzvah and let her stand on his insanely expensive shoes while they dance #god. roy kent and family. fungus in my brain.#beebles #ramblings of a madman

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lit-in-thy-heart · 9 months

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having watched good omens 2, i am definitely thinking about some crossover involving jane austen and the 1810 clerkenwell diamond robbery, crowley, clara oswald and possibly the doctor thrown in

#clara's line about jane austen being an excellent kisser livea rent free in my head #i've had a fic idea based on that remark and the 'i love her. take that any way you like' comment in my head for around 7 years now #also having done a quick google it seems like there was no clerkenwell diamond robbery of 1810 #which leaves a lot more room to play with things #not that i need more fic ideas #but the david tennant link is just too good #good omens 2 #doctor who #good omens spoilers #lit talks #jane austen

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baezdylan · 1 year

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how are you so burnt when you're barely on fire?

The Eleventh Hour | Amy's Choice | The Pandorica Opens

#amy pond #doctor who #amy pond 🌻#dw the most show ever #have 0 energy to elaborate on this because i need SLEEP but here it is anyway lmao #mine 🧫#amy's choice the episode that you are #-> episode that gives me nightmares. HER FRIENDS CALL HER ALASKA. or smth. it's not important #Hard-Hearted Barbara Allen :(#she LOVES THE WORLD!!!!! we're punishing her for that? nice.#she is the in-between space...#like space-time!!!!! she is non-linear!!!!! non-narrative!!!!!!!#11 i thought you were a scientist :/// she's like space-time... like the tardis... why don't you get it...#otp: amy + the tardis #because this is about that too. hence blue + orange.#(burning cold!)#I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M SAYING BUT!!!!! the second picture is (on one hand) about cinematography being cruel to her #she is cold! oh how dare she torture these good men! (throwing up.)#but on the other hand... it's the tardis showing her sympathy... if you're blue let me share your sadness... tardis blue...#AND AS SOON AS AMY'S GONE! THE TARDIS PROTESTS!!!!! no blue no orange no one to complement #not to be insane on main (you're used to it) but the REAL love story of 11's era is amy + tardis. you wouldn't get it #NEITHER of them makes sense. 'bigger on the inside?????' + 'the girl who didn't make sense' @dr. you have a type. (how could he resist hm)

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softquietsteadylove · 1 year

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How about jealous Thena in the Doctor au?

Let’s say a small group of 4 doctors 2 females 2 males in different expertises are visiting the ER to gather some information on something medical. And these 2 females would not stop flirting with Gil

"I have to say, I'm really quite impressed."

Thena offers a genial smile. Making nice with other people has never been a forte of hers, but the visiting doctors from a nearby hospital have been perfectly civil. "Our staff is quite impressive."

"You run a tight ship, Doctor," the other male doctor comments, also making light talk as they tour through the hospital. The ER is the last stop on their trip, releasing them back on the ground floor after touring through the rest of the hospital.

Thena gives Ajak a wink on their way to the main door, "believe me, it's all her."

Ajak winks right back at her and then nods at the visitors, "she's my favourite kid here."

Ajak is an odd handful of years older than Thena at most.

"We've heard such wonderful things about your triage centre," one of the female doctors offers a bright and lovely smile. She's a pediatric specialist, if Thena remembers correctly. "It doesn't surprise me--wow."

The other female doctor also cranes her neck to look down the hall. "Wow is right--those are...?"

Thena's eyes bounce between the women, a strange and uncomfortable feeling welling up in her chest. "Those are two of our paramedics, Gil and Kingo."

The visiting women grasp at each other, not even attempting to hide their interest as the muscle of the ER make their way over to them. They grin at each other before looking back at Thena, "who's the one waving at us?"

Thena bristles. "Gil."

"Hey," he greets them with a smile, because of course he does. Kingo doesn't even bother to say anything, continuing on to the nurse's station without him (as is a regular thing, with Gil).

"Gil, these are the visiting doctors here to look at our facilities," Thena introduces (somewhat). "Ortho, Cardiovascular, Peds and Neuro."

The doctors might be a little surprised at her choice to list their specialties and not their actual names. But Gil isn't surprised in the least, giving them a friendly smile and a tilt of his head. "Thena's been showing you around, huh? Well, you won't find a better run ER."

"Yes, we were just remarking upon that."

"Are you just getting back?"

Thena watches as Pediatrics drifts closer to Gil, her hand raising up as if to touch his arm before drifting down again. She instead clasps her hands in front of her, batting her eyelashes at him.

"Yep," Gil answers blithely, totally unaware that he's being ogled.

"The paramedics at our hospital are never in on time after a run," Neuro sighs, landing herself at Gil's other side, even closer than Pediatrics did.

Gil skips over both of them, though, looking at Thena, "I try not to stay out too long. Just in case I'm needed here, y'know?"

She smiles at him, able to forget about the intruding doctors for this one, tender, fraction of a second.

"You help out here, too?" Pediatrics gasps, now actually laying her hand on Gil's arm. "A real jack of all trades, aren't you?"

Thena taps her toe on the floor, although it's silent, given they're all wearing running shoes.

"Well, Thena and Ajak are the real captains of the ship, down here," Gil shrugs. The only awareness he even has of the hand on his arm is his confusion over it. "If we're not out on a run I just kind of float around. Some of our interns are real airheads."

Both women let out a loud and exaggerated laugh. Neuro takes the opportunity to pat the back of her hand against Gil's shoulder, although it's a little too close to his chest.

"You're funny!"

Gil is funny--everyone knows that. Thena crosses her arms. "It might be funny if it weren't such a headache."

The Orthopaedic specialist at least gives her a sympathetic smile, "some of ours are terrible too."

"Wait you just got in!" Pediatrics gasps and beams at Gil, "so you can show us one of the ambulances!"

Thena rolls her eyes, muttering just to herself, "it's an ambulance, it should look just like yours."

"Uh, yeah, I guess," Gil shrugs, though. He looks at Thena, asking her to come with them so he's not stuck hosting three strangers by himself.

If it were anyone but him; Thena sighs but follows behind them. Ortho and Cardio are talking to each other from either side of her but she's not listening. She can't possibly; Neuro is walking so close her elbow keeps knocking together with Gil's, while Pediatrics is all but hanging off his arm as they walk.

Not that it bothers her, but they could have a little professionalism. A modicum, even--one fluid ounce of professional integrity!

"Here we are," Gil announces as they exit into the ambulance bay, his particular bus parked right outside. "We have the usual stock of stuff. Although Thena had the idea for us to add an inventory specifically of fast working anaesthetics."

"Really?"

Gil is beaming with pride. "Well, we're always advised to be so stingy with them. But patients can describe what they're feeling better when they can think straight. Plus, women in particular are used to downplaying their pain, even when it's really serious. So we always try to give them just a little bit more than the recommended amount."

"That's so forward thinking!" Pediatrics gasps up at him.

Gil seems like he's barely heard her, "it was all Thena's idea."

"And Ajak," she mutters, not that anyone is listening to her. Pediatrics and Neuro are still chattering away at Gil's sides while Ortho and Cardio have climbed into the bus to examine the extra supply Gil was describing. She looks down at her hip. She's being paged, "Gil."

He leaves the sides of the visitors in a second, pulling his hands out of his hoodie pockets to touch his palm to her elbow. All she does is look at him to tell him that it's not something she can ignore. He nods, "you go."

She nods back at him, offering a smile before trotting back inside, her ponytail swinging behind her.

Thena's ass looks great even in the unflattering scrub pants. The two male doctors have obviously noticed this over the course of their tour, leaning out of the ambulance just for the privilege and indulgence of watching her go.

Gil clears his throat loudly.

The two doctors scramble out of the back of the ambulance - Gil's ambulance - and tug at their white coats. "I-It's quite a fine piece of equipment you're running."

"Hm," Gil glares at them as he tosses the massive doors closed with one hand. His hands are back in his hoodie pockets, mostly so they won't see the fists he's making. He leans down slightly to the shorter men, "I know my wife is beautiful, but do you mind keeping your eyes to yourselves, Doctor Dumb and Doctor Dumber?"

"Y-Your-"

"We didn't-"

Gil just shrugs, heading back into the ER without waiting for their distinguished and invited guests. "Honest mistake. Just don't let it happen again."

#Thenamesh Doctor AU #Gil feels a particular way #and that is mad when he sees people checking out his wife #work wife rather (same thing)#The visiting doctors leave thinking Thena and Gil are married #and Gil is just fine with that #after seeing them looking at Thena the way they were #Ajak catches him in his lie because of course she does #she brings up how the visiting doctors offered their apologies #they had no idea the head of the ER and their paramedic were married #since they don't wear rings and they didn't introduce each other as their spouse #Ajak is like...well they forget sometimes anyway thanks for coming #Gil is like please don't tell Thena I said that #Ajak just rolls her eyes #the things she has to put up with #I don't think Gil is nearly as clueless about when he's being flirted with as Thena thinks he is #he just prefers to play dumb so as not to encourage it #but he can tell instantly when someone is looking at Thena too long #or talking with her a little too flirty #while Thena is the one who can't detect interest in her to save her life #I mean...Gil is evidence of that

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