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#but this had everything i could have wanted and i am deeply emotional about it
hecksupremechips · 2 months
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Posts about bpd need to stop being so damn relatable to me 🤨
#listen im not saying i must have bpd cuz of a bunch of relatable tumblr posts dont clutch your pearls on me#but hm im starting to get suspicious ajsjk#just been spending these past few months really digging into my deeply repressed memories and emotions and i keep discovering more and more#fucked up shit lol like first its being forced to acknowledge that i have a bit more than some ‘minor trauma’#and that ive actually just been like horribly abused like. my entire life and still am 😟#then it was like really trying to think about myself and what ive done to cope with abuse and like ive constructed an entire person#to just live as whenever im in the abusive situations and when i was removed from the situation for the first time ever#i had like a huge crash a huge crisis i both functioned way better than everyone said i would like suspiciously better#but also way worse at the same time#i could handle all the responsibilities of living alone i never once felt scared or homesick i was clean i was efficient i used money wisely#but i also felt like i was dying and i couldnt function when my persona dropped#cuz i didnt need to be that person anymore i could finally be me but then like. who even is me ive never gotten to find out#i dont know basic ways to behave i still have no clue how to exist or what i truly want vs what i pretended to want#its all completely muddled and its hard to explain that i cant tell whats genuine with me and whats fake#cuz ive been forced to live the fake shit my entire life you know? ive had to and i had to accept it#ive never gotten to make any of my own actual decisions and at the same time i have to decide everything for everyone else#im the parent of my parents but never was the child and the child is still there asking for attention but no one is there#then you know i had to return to the abuse and so its like i did get to taste freedom but not for long and i spent all my time in that#crisis mode so it wasnt exactly a fun filled time but being back here is much worse than before cuz now i know whats happening#and how i have to perform and its like how do i discover anything about myself in this kinda environment and no one understands the turmoil#the reason why something simple like wearing different shoes is so impossible for me#its just a horrible environment to be in i am in hell constantly ive no clue whats happening and im very obsessive over everything#aaaaghhhhhhh help girl help lol
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fangirl-dot-com · 14 days
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🐾 Il Pawdestinato
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Bianchi!Reader (fc. Alexandra) Genre: Comfort/Fluff Summary: A disappointing fourth place as Suzuka has your boyfriend feeling down. Maybe all he needs is a teeny-tiny surprise.
So this is that imagine that I've been talking about making. Sorry, it's taken so long. I hope you all enjoy and I promise I am working on the next chapter of Reputations. I just think that since it's a smaller fic, I could do an imagine and a chapter for the week. Let me know what y'all want me to do!
You internally sighed as you watched the red car with the number 16 cross the line in fourth place. Anger started to bubble below the surface and you had to turn around for a moment, hoping that the cameras in the garage wouldn’t catch the sneer on your face. 
How hard was it to get Charles on the podium that his heart needed? 
The tenth anniversary and it seemed to not matter to anyone except your family and Charles’s. But of course, it’s Ferrari. Can’t give their driver a decent car or a decent strategy. When Charles is ahead it’s race on if you’re faster. But if Charles is faster but behind it’s stay in position. 
When were Ferrari finally going to actually put actions into their words? Or give their chosen driver the better strategies? 
Your blood had almost boiled over at the very distasteful words of Damon Hill when he called Charles depressed and emotion during the weekend. Sorry, it’s not like his godfather or your brother had a fatal crash ten years ago. Totally not that. 
Charles had to hold you back from seeking out the former champion when you watched the interview. 
But now, you just had to be there for Charles. 
Your hands held the helmet that the Monegasque would have brought to the podium with him if he had been up there. The helmet that should have been brought to the podium years ago if everything had been according to plan. 
But ten years ago, fate had a different story: one that didn’t include your brother in the narrative. 
Your high-heeled feet quickly took you to Parc Ferme to meet him there. You didn’t want to be too late. Multiple people in red parted for you as you made your way to the cars. The shiny helmet seemed to blind anyone who looked at it. 
Charles took his time getting out of the car in the P4 placement. His heart was heavy as his head turned to look at the wrong Ferrari parked a few meters away. God how he wanted that to have been him. His eyes watered as he started to take his gloves off. He could see the tilt of Carlos’s lip as he gave his post-race interview. He despised the driver for it. 
However, as he turned, a glint of silver caught his eyes. The Monegasque almost choked on his spit when he saw that you were holding it up. He all but ran over, trying to get there quickly before Max was called up.  
Charles held out his hands when he got close, however he froze when you placed Jules’s helmet in his hands. His own helmet was still on, probably him trying to hide his own tears. Except, you had let yours run free. 
You gave him a little nudge. 
“Go,” was all you told him. 
The Ferrari driver, now with helmet in hand, jogged over to the cool down room. The security around didn’t bother him, almost knowing what he was trying to do. He poked his head around the corner and caught a bit of the conversation. 
“And you were struggling with tyres,” he heard Max say as he watched the Dutchman almost give Carlos a cold shoulder. Max’s eyes widened when he caught a familiar red helmet peeking around the corner. He cocked an eyebrow but walked over when beckoned. 
“Charlie?” he questioned when he saw the Monegasque crying in his helmet. Max wanted to question him further, but something was thrust in his hands. He looked down in shock. 
Charles shuffled on his feet a bit. 
“Can-can,” he stuttered under the Dutchman’s gaze. He inhaled deeply. “Can you take this with you? On the podium?” 
He shut his eyes tight, not even wanting to see if Max rejected his plea. A hand came to rest on his shoulder and he opened his eyes just a bit. He was confused when he saw that Max was close to tears as well. 
Max gulped the big lump in his throat, taken back by what Charles was asking. If Max could, he’d switch with Charles in heartbeat. 
He tried to give the brunet a smile, but it came out kind of crooked. Max clutched the helmet close to his stomach, careful not to accidentally drop it. He looked down at the silver detailing. The only thing lacking on it was the Ferrari emblem. His eyes widened a bit when he realized that this wasn’t just an extra helmet from Charles. 
“I-I’m sorry I c-can’t bring it up myself,” Charles tried to justify, but he couldn’t get the words out. 
In the back of the cooldown room, Checo’s eyes were trained on the pair. His eyes slid to the side only to find Carlos not even looking. The Mexican wished he could hear when they were saying, but the familiar helmet told him everything he needed to know. He watched Charles back away and disappear around the corner. Once the red-clad driver was gone, Checo saw Max stiffen as though he realized what this actually meant. 
The second Red Bull driver got off the seat and walked over toward the Dutchman. He peered down at the silver helmet. He could almost hear Max thinking in the silence. Now he was the one to place a comforting hand on Max’s shoulder, as the Dutchman had done for Charles. 
“He trusts you Max.” 
Max only breathed in and nodded. They were quickly called to line up go to the podium. When the blond got to the top step, he made sure to hold the helmet where everyone could see. It was kind of like a testament to truly show that he was the wrong driver to be holding it on the top step. 
His blue eyes tried to find green in the crowd below, but he failed. Max even failed trying to find you. He deflated a bit but still held his head up high. Max’s lips quirked when he heard P screaming from below in the arms of Kelly. 
While Max held the helmet, really all he could think of is if he would have friends who’d hold his helmet in reverence if he were to tragically die. He’d like to think that Charles would race with a dedication helmet all race year long. He wouldn’t want it on Carlos’s helmet or Checo’s (but he knew that the two would do it anyway). 
Even though he was missing green, his eyes did catch a wide smile. He was glad that Danny was there, knowing the Australian had been close to Jules during his time in F1. 
Max had been so caught up in the anthems that he didn’t even realize that they had ended. Not wanting the helmet to get ruined with champagne, he quickly ran around to hide it behind the wall. He made sure it was stable before running back out to join in the celebrations. He knew that he’d have to give it back after, but for now, he could only receive sprays of bubbly. 
Charles’s head had been buried in the crook of your next since he got back to his drivers room. You could only rub small circles on his back, trying the comfort the sad man. 
“Why am I just never good enough?” Charles whispered into the silence. Your breath hitched when you heard the utter despair in his voice. “Can’t even get a podium for Julio.” 
“Charles, it’s not you. Please, never think it’s you.” 
The Monegasque only sighed and turned more into you. Your hands blindly reached for your phone. Once your fingers hit the cool case, you immediately grabbed it and started to plan something. You knew that the two of you were headed to Milan this week for sim testing and for the grand opening of LEC. But, you knew that you could make it even more special. 
You grinned as you made the plans and sent over a hefty amount of money, but it’d be worth it.
Hopefully.
A knock on the door had Charles sitting up straight. He quickly rubbed his eyes before heading over to the door. When he opened it, he came face to face with a soaked Max, who had slightly sad eyes. In his hands was the helmet. 
Max’s gray eyes swept over Charles before looking around the room. He gave you a smile when your eyes met. A quick nod of you head told Max everything he had to know. He turned his eyes back to Charles and handed the headpiece over. 
There was some awkward silence before Max coughed. 
“I’m guessing you’re headed back to Maranello?” 
When Charles shook his head no, the Dutchman was a little confused.
“We’re headed to Milan first,” was all Charles offered. 
You snorted at the short words from your boyfriend. Charles grew red but then offered a little more intel. “I have that ice cream thing.” 
Max’s eyes widened when he realized that it wasn’t just a rumor or a joke. Charles made a face. 
“I’m very serious about my ice cream Max.” 
Oh, Max guesses he said that out loud.  
The Red Bull driver snorted. “I wouldn’t doubt that Charles. Everything you do, you do it best.” 
Now, Charles grew red (but not of embarrassment). 
“Thank you,” he whispered, squeezing the helmet a bit tighter. You were still scrolling through your phone as they talked a bit more. You were just making sure that the place you were staying at had the correct accommodations for your surprise. 
It was only when Charles got back into his spot on your chest did you realize that Max was gone. You turned your phone off and put your hands into his hair and started to scratch lightly. A content sigh escaped Charles as he finally melted into you. You leaned down to kiss his forehead. 
“We have to get going or the flight is going to leave without us,” you murmured into his hairline. You had talked to Fred (more like demanded) about letting Charles skip debrief for the time being. The money in your bank account could pay for whatever expenses the Monegasque would be fined if he skipped everything. 
In the plane, Charles had curled up to you once again. When you made sure that he was sound asleep, you got your computer back out. You finished typing out your email to Doni, making sure that everything was in order for when the plane would land. You just hoped that you could keep the surprise a secret for a little longer. 
Knowing that Charles would be dead tired when you got to the place where you’d be staying for almost two weeks, you put him straight to bed when you arrived. He went down with little to no arguments and was sound asleep as you unpacked everything. 
Pulling back the covers, you were able to slip in next to him. As you were about to fall asleep, Charles wrapped his arm around your middle and brought you closer. His lips met the crest of your shoulder before tucking his head back into your neck. You put your hand over his arm and held it tightly. 
In the morning, you were woken up by the sound of a blender from the kitchen. You sleepily put your feet on the cool tile and made your way to the open room. 
Charles had his bare back to you as he was slaving over frozen fruit and oat milk. He startled a bit as your cheek came to rest on his shoulder. Your lips pressed against your favorite freckle that stood out amongst the rest of the galaxy on his back. 
“Good morning amore.” 
You always loved his terms of endearment in the morning when his voice was still deep with sleep. 
“Morning Cha.” 
Charles smiled as he heard sleep still evident in your own voice. While he pressed the automatic blend button, he turned around to face you. Your eyes were still closed as you looked at him with a dopey smile. Charles couldn’t help but mirror it, even if you couldn’t see it.
 He leaned down and placed feather-light kissed on your eyelids before moving down to your nose. The Monegasque always loved doing that as your nose would immediately scrunch after. 
A whine left your lips, signally to him that he hadn’t kissed you where you wanted it yet. He rolled his eyes and stooped a bit lower, his lips finally finding solace in yours. 
After three years, you still couldn’t get over the feeling of his lips on yours. Your hands slip up his arms until they locked behind his neck, pulling him closer to you. His own hands found themselves planted against the span of your hips. 
It was just the two of you in your own little world for a bit, leaving you breathless when you finally parted, smoothie long forgotten. 
Charles rested his forehead against yours. 
You hummed, getting his attention. 
“I have a surprise for you later today,” you told him. Feeling him tense against your chest, you knew he was immediately interested. 
“Like, later today or in a few hours.” 
“More like in a few hours. We have to get ready and then get going.” 
You and Charles quickly drank your smoothies before you headed back to the bedroom to get dressed. Teasingly, you swung the keys around his face as you walked out to the car, claiming that you had to drive because he didn’t even know where you were going. 
“You get to be passenger princess now my love,” you called as you climbed into the driver’s seat. Charles could only roll his eyes. 
He would never admit it, but he secretly liked being the passenger every once in a while. It gave him the freedom to choose the music and not worry about getting one place to another. 
Once the car got closer to the location, Charles had a sense of what was going on. He turned his head toward you once you pulled into the house. His eyes were sparkling (but you knew they’d get brighter once he understood why exactly the two of you were here). 
Charles unbuckled with you following suit. 
“Are we here to see Mimi?” he questioned as he held your hand, swinging it as you walked. 
You were digging through your purse with your other. “Something like that.” 
The doorbell was rang and Charles smiled at the sight of his friend. 
“Hi mate,” he greeted, pulling Doni into a hug. You gave the man a greeting when you had the chance. 
“Follow me,” Doni said, pulling you and Charles into the house. You could tell that the Monegasque was excited as he squeezed passed Doni and immediately went to pick Mimi up. You giggled, seeing your boyfriend turn into a literally baby for the small dog. 
Seeing that he was preoccupied, you leaned over to Doni. 
“Is he here?” 
Doni smiled down at you. “We can go get him.” 
You turned to Charles. “Love, Doni is going to show me a new painting that he’s been working on. I’ll be right back.” 
The only response you got was Charles kissing Mimi on the head and waving you off. You couldn’t even find it in yourself to be mad because moments later, your hands were full of puppy. You clutched the blond dachshund into your chest. 
“He’s perfect,” you whispered, kissing the puppy’s head lightly, earning a little yap in return. You and Doni returned to the bigger room, still finding Charles enamored with Mimi. You snorted at the sight. 
“Charlie,” you said, gaining the Monegasque’s attention for a moment. The minutes Charles’s eyes were on you, he froze at the sight of the itty-bitty puppy in your arms. He set Mimi down immediately, but the bigger dachshund wasn’t offended. 
Charles gingerly stepped over and his hands hovered over the little puppy in your arms. His eyes met yours, silently asking to hold the tiny thing. You rolled your eyes and you gently set the unnamed puppy in his hands. 
The baby dachshund looked tiny in your arms, but now looked even tinier in Charles’s bigger hands. The Ferrari driver held the puppy up to his face and was met with a wet tongue against his nose. The giggles that resounded out of the grown man made you melt inside. 
After the right amount of attention was given to the pup, Charles looked at Doni. 
“What’s his name?” he asked his friend. 
Doni smirked down at you. 
“That’s for you to decide love.” 
It was comical with how big Charles’s eyes got when he finally realized that the puppy in his hands was his (well, you two would share him). Tears even welled up in his green eyes, making them look incredibly glassy. 
You cooed at the two while stepping closer to put your hand back on the puppy. The little thing yawned and snuggled deeper into Charles’s hand. His head whipped up so he could look at you. 
“I’m never putting him down you know that right? I’ll make him a little pocket in my race suit and he’s going to go everywhere with me.” 
You snorted. “I don’t think puppies are built to withstand the G’s baby, but I’ll keep him company in the garage. He’ll have Roscoe to play with next year too.” 
Charles stopped listening after you had said “baby,” his brain melting. Now, he couldn’t stop thinking about a future with you and an actual baby. That made blood go to different places and he needed to stop thinking about that. 
Doni had walked away for a moment and came back with a piece of paper. 
“You think of a name superstar?” the man asked, pen poised to write. 
Charles held the British-crème dog up to his face and looked into the boba-like brown eyes. He hummed as he put him back down at stomach level, still not wanting to put him down. 
“Leo.” 
Now that you snorted. “You’re going to name our son after your rival?” 
Charles paled once he realized and stuttered as he tried to make up an excuse. “Non, it’s like the LEC logo. The ‘C’ looks like an ‘O’ if you squint.” 
You laughed but nodded at the excuse. “Sure amore, sure. But I think Leo Leclerc suits him. Little baby.” 
Doni also laughed as he wrote down Leo’s name. “More like Leo LeHandbag because I don’t think superstar is going to put him down anytime soon.” 
You turned back to Charles, but the man was already crouched down next to Mimi, showing off Leo to the older dog. You facepalmed. 
“I am dating a literally child. First an ice cream line and now this.” 
Doni smiled. “He looks happy.” 
You sighed in content. That’s all you had wanted to do since Suzuka: make Charles happy. You couldn’t bring back your brother, but you could offer small hopes to the man you loved so dearly. Your eyes widened when you looked at your watch. 
“Love, we have to go. Your launch is in an hour and a half.” 
Charles pouted. “We’re bringing him right?” 
You smiled softly. “Yes, let’s bring our son.” 
The two of you said your goodbyes to Doni before heading out. Charles still wanted to be the passenger so that he could hold onto Leo for longer, knowing that he’d have to give him back to you once the launch started. 
“I still can’t believe you named him Leo after Max.” 
“He is not named after Max.” 
“Sure babe. It’s definitely not like Roscoe being named after Nico Rosberg.” 
“Wait. Lewis names Roscoe after Rosberg?” 
“Yes Charlie. But it’s ok. I can be second best to your work-wife.” 
“Max is not my work-wife.” 
“Whatever you say. Il Predestinato now has Il Pawdestinato.” 
“HE WON IN SPA, HE WINS IN MONZA!” 
“I swear Charles, I will take him back.” 
“LEO LECLERC IS THE WINNER OF THE 2024 DOGGIE GRAND PRIX!” 
“I’m dating a child.” 
y/n_bianchi has posted
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y/n_bianchi little Leo Leclerc ☀️
liked by charles_leclerc, lestappenlove, y/nxcharlie, and 4,204,096 others
leclerc_fam oh my gosh he's so cutieeeeeee
i_want_y/n do y'all need another one? cause I can bark 🗣
charliesangels STOP DID Y/N GET HIM A PUPPY AFTER SUZUKA????
lestappenlove not them naming Leo after a certain lion rival
brocedes2.0 reminds me of lewis naming Roscoe after Nico Rosberg
lecluv ice cream, a puppy, and a gorgeous girlfriend - Charles is living the life 😭
roscoelovescoco yous is goings to haves to brings him to the paddocks so I's cans meets new friend! ♥️
y/n_bianchi of course roscoe! I can babysit so the dads can do their thing 🏎💨
lewishamilton can't wait to meet the son!
charles_leclerc he'll be at Shanghai ☺️
roscoe&leo they're going to be the IT dogs of the paddock
leolovescharlie imagine having formula 1 driver Charles Leclerc and Ceo of a multimillion dollar company Y/n Bianchi as your parents
maxverstappen1 I like the name! 🦁
y/n_bianchi i told him that you'd say something
charles_leclerc HE IS NOT NAMED AFTER YOU
y/nxcharlie it's cat dad Max Verstappen vs dog dad Charles Leclerc
iamred_iamyellow choose your fighter
y/n_leclerc I'm just waiting for when y/n is going to show up with a ring
ferrari_fan when I saw I got that dawg in me, best know I'm talking about Leo
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fuckyeahgoodomens · 27 days
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Neil talking about the responses to Good Omens Season 2 - from the Neil Gaiman interview with Brian Levine for The Gould Standard (x,x)
BL: The audience that you have built is a very passionately engaged audience. They, frankly, they love you. And one of the reasons they love you is that you fit into what I think of as one of two great divisions in art. There's, or in writing, um, there is: I'm entertained, I'm amused. I may be even enchanted; and then there's this hits me at a visceral level. You understand me as no one else does. You have touched something very central to my experience. And it seems to me that Much of your writing, maybe all of your writing, actually reaches your audience at that latter level. You know. I would say in the former category, sort of my quintessential and beloved example would be P. G. Woodhouse. He amuses me, but I don't feel like he's revealed my inner self at a very deep level. Um, were you aware that you were going to be able to achieve that? Um, that this is something... was it a startling thing when people began coming up to you, who'd read your work and said, this means so much to me?
Neil: Yeah. It was huge. And it wasn't expected. I... if I had a mountaintop I was heading towards, it was gonna be P. G. Woodhouse. Um, I wanted to be a proficient entertainer with a clear prose style who could tell stories. Um, it probably wasn't until Sandman that I found... I started to realize that in order for a story to work, I had to show too much. In order for a story to resonate, in order for a story to matter, I had to let it matter too much. And, and I remember the first people who would start coming up to me and saying, um, you, you know, your, your Sandman comics got me through the death of a loved one. Your death character got me through my child's death, through my parent's death, through my partner's death, through my friend's death. Um, and that left me kind of amazed. I'm like, well, I didn't write it to do that. I wrote it to feed my children. I wrote it to satisfy myself. I wrote it because nobody else had ever written it. And if I didn't write it, it wouldn't be written, but I don't think I wrote it to give you what you've taken from it. And I spent really about 20, 25 years feeling awkward about that. And then my father died, in March 2009, and never got to cry about it. Never... I, you know, I've, I've got on a plane and I went to the UK and dealt with the funeral stuff and organized all of that stuff and came back and go toff the plane and went and did Stephen Colbert's Colbert Report and wearing the funeral suit because and that was all I had with me and carried on. And then, somewhere in the middle of summer, I was reading a friend's script. They'd sent me a script and said, can you look this over? And I'm reading it, and on page 20, the lead character meets somebody, and on page 26 maybe, she's dead, and I burst into tears. And I'm bawling. I am sobbing. It is coming out of me in giant racking waves. And I realized that it's everything that I'd been, hadn't let myself feel, or hadn't been able, hadn't stopped enough to let myself feel, was suddenly being given permission to feel by the death of a fictional person who I'd met six pages earlier, ia script. And I thought that... and it was huge for me, and I thought, okay, that's that thing that people are talking about sometimes, when they come tome and they say, you, you did this. So right now, I'm in this weird, wonderful place where I think a lot of people in Good Omens Season 2 thought they were signing up for the P.G. Woodhouse, and didn't know that, no, no, no, you've, you've signed up for the whole thing. You've signed up for the feelings. You've signed up for the emotions. I... it is my job to make you care and to make you feel and to feel things you haven't felt before. And which meant that the first week or so after Good Omens came out, I was getting angry, furious, deeply upset messages on every possible social medium telling me that I had betrayed people, and it was awful, and they couldn't stop crying, and why would I do that to them, and did I hate them? And they hated me. And then a weird sort of phenomenon happened as people would watch the show again. And again. And now they started to know, okay, this is where it's gonna go, this is what's gonna happen, this is how it works. And they started realizing that they were actually feeling things, and that was good. And that they were caring about two people who don't exist. You know, I made them up, and then and Terry Pratchett made them up, and then, um, David Tennant and Michael Sheen gave them life, and then they get to walk around on a screen and you know they don't exist, but you can cry for them, you can love them, they can make you laugh, they can make you exult, and most important of all, they can make you care. And the number of people who are now writing to me, saying, 'This was so important to me. This has changed my life. This makes me feel like I belong. This makes me feel like I can cope. And it's let me sort of find myself. P. S. I hope you get to do Season Three.' is, is huge.
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yelenasdiary · 2 months
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Subby!Wanda being all shy and nervous about having sex with you for the first time after having the boys because she thinks she isn't pretty with the extra weight, but you love every bit of her and shower her in compliments and praise until she's a mess beneath you repeating the compliments back about herself.
Pretty Little Mess
Pairing:  Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader
Summary:  Wanda opens up about her recent stresses
Smut, Fluff & Tiny Angst. 18+ ONLY! Minors & Men, DNI!!
Warnings: Sub! Wanda, Dom! Reader, Use of Strap On (W Receiving), Oral (W Receiving), Mentions of Body Image Insecurities | 1.2K
AC: Thank you for sending this! I am so sorry for the delay in posting this, I hope you enjoy this soft smutty fic! X
Cupid's Dream Masterlist
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"Honey, are you ready?" You called out after closing the front door. You'd just dropped the twins off at Clint's house for the night. It was the first date night in months, with the twin's first birthday coming up in a little over a month, you were able to convince Wanda that the boys would be okay a night away from their parents so the two of you could enjoy a little with each other. This night had been circled on the calendar for weeks and you'd made reservations at Wanda's favorite restaurant. 
You wandered upstairs when Wanda didn't reply to your call out, she'd basically locked herself in the bedroom all afternoon trying on outfits. You knocked softly on the door, "Baby, you in there?" You asked. Wanda opened the door with slightly red and puffy eyes, you frowned with worry. 
"Wands, are you okay? What is it honey?" you asked. She shook her head, "it's nothing, I'll be down in a few minutes" She tried her best to give you a smile, but you could see something was troubling her. 
"We're not going anywhere until you talk to me love" you replied, making your way into the bedroom. It was a mess; clothes were thrown everywhere, and her side of the wardrobe was practically empty. One thing Wanda admired most about you was the way you always put her and the boys above anything. She knew you'd been excited for date night since the moment she agreed to let the boys stay at the Barton's for the night and the last thing she wanted to do was ruin that for you. 
"It's nothing" Wanda assured you as she picked up a deep red dress from the floor. You gently stopped her from taking any further steps away from you, cupping her right cheek. "Honey, if you're worried about the boys, I promise you they will be fine. We can give Clint a call when we get home" you said, trying to assure her of her worries. Wanda smiled softly, "it's not that my love" she replied. 
"What is it?" You asked. 
Wanda stepped back and took a seat on the edge of the bed, her hands in her lap while her head hung low. "We're going to go dinner and have a wonderful time and then we're going to come home and things will get heated and I'm just worried th-" she paused as tears filled her eyes. You kneeled down in front of her, gently lifting her head up to wipe her tears, "it's okay love, I'm listening" you assured her. 
Wanda took a moment to gather her emotions, "I'm worried you won't find me as attractive as you did before we had the boys" she confessed, "I've put on a bit of extra weight, I have stretch marks and I just don-"
You cut her off by kissing her deeply, looking her in her big green eyes as you pulled away, "don't you ever think even for a second that I don't find you attractive. Wands, you've never looked more beautiful and I'm not just saying that. You gave birth to our beautiful boys, and I love everything about you" you spoke before kissing her once more, "and I am going to spend the night showing you exactly what I love about you" you added.
----
Your tongue swirled around Wanda's clit while your hands ran up and down between her inner thighs, her soft moans grew more and more the closer she got to her orgasm only for you to pull back at the last possible second. 
"Baby! Please stop teasing me" Wanda whimpered as you ran your fingers through her wet folds. "You know what to say darling" you replied as you looked up at her, the tip of your index finger ever so slightly brushing over her clit. You kissed up her body, slowly, making sure to kiss every single stretch mark on her stomach and hips, "until you see just how beautiful and sexy you are, you're not cumming darling" you said between kisses. 
Wanda moaned softly when she felt the tip of your strap brush against her pussy, your lips traveling further up her body until you reached her lips. Wanda cupped your face as you slowly grinded your strap against her to tease her even more, "say it baby, tell me how beautiful you are" you whispered before kissing her deeply once more. 
"I'm" Wanda started as your lips moved to her neck once again, sucking lightly as her hands roamed your naked back. "I'm…beautiful" she finally repeated back to you. A proud smile tugged at your lips before you gently pulled back to look at your wife once again, "say it again" you said while you lined your fake cock up with her throbbing pussy. 
Wanda couldn't help the redness that grew in her cheeks as she laid beneath you, "I'm beautiful" she repeated. 
"And what?" You asked, slowly pushing your strap inside her. 
"A-and strong" she moaned as you stretched her out. "Keep going darling, you're doing so well for me baby" you replied. 
You waited for Wanda to adjust to your new strap and size before you began to thrust into her. Every time she complimented herself you would thrust deeper, her moans got louder causing her to stutter her words. Her fists were full of the bed sheet, gripping them tightly as you thrusted in and out of her, your lips made sure to cover her with light hickies while she struggled to word each compliment. 
"You're doing so well for me angel, look at you!" You pulled back to watch her new favorite toy sliding effortlessly in and out of her soaked pussy, "you're taking me so fucking well darling. My beautiful will little toy" you praised her before bringing your thumb to rub tight circles around her clit. 
'G'nna cum, p-please!" Wanda moaned as she watched the actions of your thumb. 
"Yeah? Promise me you're never going to forgot how beautiful you are" you looked at her, thrusting a little deeper. 
"I p-pr-promise!" Wanda moaned once more, throwing her head back, "p-please baby!" She added. 
"Go on beautiful, make a pretty little mess for me" you replied as you leant down, taking one of her nipples into your mouth as she came. Your name leaving her lips as her orgasm took over her body never got old. You fucked her slowly through her high, her legs wrapped around your waist to keep you in place while your lips began to travel back to her lips before you kissed her deeply. 
"I mean it darling, you're so, so beautiful! Inside and out and I promise to make sure you never forget that, even for a second" you spoke softly after you pulled out of her and laid beside her, pulling her close as you wrapped your arms around her. Wanda sunk into your hold; light tears filled her eyes. 
"I love you so much my love" she replied as she brought the back of your hand to her lips, giving your bare skin a peck. 
"I love you more than you will know" you whispered back.
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I Know it Won’t Work || Tom Blyth x singer!reader
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Summary: You and Tom break up after three years of dating and you perform a song about the truth of the breakup for the first time live.
Warnings: slight age gap, reader is 23 and Tom is 30
Wc: 658
A/n: these r addicting to make lol. Also, changed up some lyrics for the sake of the storyline making sense. 2/4? Fics I’m posting today!
Tom Blyth x singer!reader au masterlist
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Divider by @pommecita
You let out a shaky breath, "I left you here, heard you keep the extra closet empty," You sing the first words of your unreleased song to the crowd. "In case this year, I come back and stay throughout my twenties, what if I won't? How am I supposed to put that gently?" You had just freshly turned 23 and broken up with Tom.
You honestly don't know how you ended up here, in-front of a crowd of hundreds in London. Performing in front of people was the last thing you wanted to do at the moment but you had to keep a strong front for your supporters, this show was highly anticipated.
"I've had the thought, tried to work it out through anxious pacin'" Your biggest coping mechanism was writing songs. You never knew how to really express your emotions in sentences to someone, so instead, you write them into songs. Your real feelings and emotions laced into words that in the end, formed a song.
"But it's a lot, all the shine of three happy years fadin'" The crowd watched in silence, partly because it was a new song and they did not know the lyrics to sing along, but also because they were mesmerised. Your voice held so much emotion.
Your fans weren't aware that the two of you have broken up, but a few had already pieced it up. "The whole facade, seemed to fall apart, it's complicated." Everyone viewed you and Tom as the power couple, deeply in love with one another with no flaw or doubt in the relationship
While half of it was true, the other half wasn't. The seven year age gap different had been brought up so many times throughout your relationship. You remember the first time the two of you got together, you were 20 and he was 27.
You both received heavy backlash from the internet but the two of you ignored them all. They weren't the ones in the relationship, they weren't the ones to make the call about whether or not you should be together.
"And part of me wants to walk away 'till you really listen, I hate to look at your face and know that we're feelin' different," As the three years went by, uou hoped you weren't the only one in the relationship that doubted a few things. You didn’t want to admit that other people's comments were getting to you. As the three years progressed with Tom, you felt as if you were just both in such different phases of life.
You were still so young in your early twenties and fresh in your career while it seemed that Tom was ready to settle down, marry, and start a family. He would always mention starting a family and you would listen, not really knowing what to say to him.
But recently, you came into terms with the truth that both you and Tom don't share the same feelings or goals at the moment. "Cause part of me wants you back, but, I know it won't work like that, huh?" You loved Tom, parts of you still do. He never did anything wrong, he was everything you could have ever wished for. You like to think of him as the right person, wrong time.
But nothing was going to change the fact that you two were just in different stages of life. Nothing will change the seven year age gap between the two of you. "I know we cut all the ties, but you're never really leavin'"
Tom hasn't left your mind. It would've been easier if he did. But he just couldn't. "And part of me wants you back, but, I know it won't work like that, huh?" Your voice slightly cracks, a single tear drop runs down your face. Eyes closed, you let it. The dewy stream your tear left—accentuated with the bright lights focused on you—did not go unnoticed.
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thebadboyfanclub · 10 months
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Welcome To Our Family (Daemon x Reader)
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Hey everyone, so as I mentioned before I wanted to write a throuple thing with Rhaenyra and Daemon although even on this request there was some drama involved but it was interesting to write nonetheless. Also I don’t know why but this song inspired me the most especially the part “where you go I go, what you see I see” that was the vibe I was trying to pass for our reader with daemon
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Most would say that the war in the stepstones had no place for love to blossom, the reeking stench of death had overtaken and most men had no life in their eyes, the majority prayed in gratitude that they were alive while others cursed the gods for keeping them on this forsaken realm when their friend of even their kin had been killed.
That did not even grace Daemon, who was lucky enough to spend every night in the arms of his beloved (y/n), the sister of one of his soldiers that had been wounded, (y/n) had marched in and demanded that her brother will come home.
“I will be damned if I allow you to give more than an arm for this, you are coming with me”
Her brother had obeyed her, she was as fragile as a rose but her thorns stung more than anything, right then and then Daemon had become a mere slave to his emotions, something that had never occurred before.
“I wish I could stay in your arms forever”
“That would be a dream, my love, however, we are counting the days until you depart, your wife probably awaits you”
Daemon was deeply offended by the jab his lover had thrown at him, slowly he rose up and away from her arm reach to look her straight in the eyes, the fireplace burned bright and the light shined against her glistening skin.
“You are questioning my feelings for you”
“I am questioning how strong they are, you are a prince, a husband, your life seems to hold no room for me”
“Is that how you think of this? That I just wanted to bed you?”
“Do you truly wish for me to answer that?”
Silence took over them while the only sound came from the crackles of the fire, Daemon was aware of how badly this could look, she was a commoner, a mere lady, and the realm would never accept her even if Daemon had not wed another.
“You and our daughter mean everything to me”
“But nothing to the king, he will ask for my head once he finds out I am carrying your child”
“I would never put your lives at risk”
“How do you plan on keeping us safe my love?”
“Do not worry about that, I will take care of everything”
(Y/n)s belly was starting to show, it wouldn’t take long for the king and his little whisperers to demand answers, the easy route was to declare his kin a bastard but Daemon was flying on cloud nine when (y/n) announced that she was with child, no he must do right by her.
He flew with her to Pentos, far away from Viserys and people that cared most about titles and crowns than love and compassion.
“Twins, my prince, two sons, praise the mother”
“What about (y/n)”
“The lady is a warrior, she is tired but healthy”
Daemon did not speak another word to the maester, he simply passed by him and into the room to find his beloved laying in bed, a faint smile on her face as she held one of her children while the other was being held by a midwife.
“You owe me 3 dragon coins”
“It is a bet I will happily pay, how are you feeling?”
“Sore and gross but happy, why don’t you hold him?”
“I-“
“Come on love it is merely a babe, like… so”
Slowly (y/n) passed one of her sons to her lover, instructing him to hold it carefully but securely, then she reached for the midwife so she can have her other son in her arms, both of the babes were quiet in their parent's arms.
“What should we name them?”
“I was thinking of Orryn, and mayhaps… Baelon?”
“Baelon and Orryn, the two princes”
Daemon and (y/n) had grown inseparable much to his brother's dislike Daemon had scoffed at his previous marriage and took his place next to his most endearing (y/n) that had blessed him with not just two children, but with passion, and comfort, she created a home for him, without her there was no warmth, no color.
Viserys was only finding out the milestones his brother was achieving with his mistress via ravens that Daemon dared to send, the birth of his sons had scratched a wound in Viserys that was not quite healed yet, so naturally when Rhea had passed due to fever, Daemon had even dared to invite Viserys to his wedding that took place in Pentos.
(Y/n) had just given birth to another set of siblings, Alyssa and Arren, two silver-haired princesses that slept peacefully through the night and would only stay quiet if (y/n) or Daemon held them, (y/n)s parents and brother had traveled to Pentos to finally meet the children and also attend the wedding.
“You look dashing sweetling, I see the prince has taken good care of you”
“How could I not? What is more important than the happiness of my lady wife?”
“We must admit we had conflicting thoughts over you my prince, I am happy that you proved us wrong”
“I do not hold it against you, she is your daughter you want what is best for her, also you were not the only one, (y/n) was also very skeptical over my intentions”
“I had every reason to do so”
“I have made peace with the fact that you will never admit you were wrong my love, you do not have to find excuses for it”
Daemon and (y/n) were wed in Valyrian traditions, something that infuriated Viserys, how dare he wed a commoner with the sacred paths of old Valyria, it was distasteful and utterly disrespectful, Viserys had only sent a one-sentence raven scroll back
“You disgust me, never come back”
Daemon had only rolled his eyes at it and threw it in the fire, he couldn’t care less about Kings Landing, they could eat each other for all he cared, (y/n) and their children were all that mattered ever since he met with the beautiful hues of hers, he treasured everything about her and worshipped the ground she walked on, he would always hold her close and shower her with gifts.
“We received a raven, I have taken the liberty to open it”
“What is it?”
“Laenor Velaryon has passed, and your niece is requesting our presence, well yours to be specific, she said “I need you, uncle”
“You are jealous, I have never seen you get jealous”
“Is this the one you told me about, that “spur of the moment” girl?”
“Indeed, we do not have to go, besides, my brother banished me”
“No, it is the first time our presence is requested”
“My dear, you are with child and the flight is long”
“I will be fine, I know it”
Daemon was certain he could not sway her, once something was on her mind there was nothing that could turn it around, he was also aware that the reason she was so adamant was a side of hers that felt threatened, there was a ghost of his past that was requesting attention and (y/n) was not willing to walk away from this without putting up a fair fight.
At a day (y/n) and her 8 children stood next to her and her husband all dressed in black, everyone rubbed their eyes at the sight of such numerous children, (y/n) always knew she was meant to be a mother and that fact that she had Daemon as her husband made it so much easier.
Until it didn’t, they were summoned by the king after the ceremony, (y/n) felt her stomach drop as soon as she walked in the room, instinctively her one hand went over her growing belly, yet she mastered the strength to place a smile and curtsy before the king.
“What is the meaning of this brother?”
“I was hoping we could agree to some sort”
“Over what?”
“I wish for you to come back, I… will legitimize your children and wife as she has proven worthy, bringing forward 8 children with another on the way is no easy task”
“The gods have been generous to us that is correct, we are grateful for this offer but forgive me to ask, since you mentioned an agreement it seems you want something in return”
“Correct, there is no smooth way to say this but as a parent, I hope you understand that I would do anything to protect my daughter”
“No”
“Daemon”
“If you are asking us to wed Rhaenyra then you have lost your mind, I will not involve my wife and children in your scandals”
“Pardon my husband, I think you can understand the reason behind his outburst”
Daemon was left confused over (y/n)s composure that attempted to cover for his utter refusal to hide his brother's plans, he turned to observe his wife, she was calm, and her hand went to find his as their fingers intertwined (y/n) gave him a slight squeeze of comfort.
“The legitimacy of our children and our marriage is something that we are interested in, however, you can see why we might have some objections over accepting Rhaenyra in our marriage”
“You are trying to negotiate?”
“Yes”
“What else would you like to accept, please speak freely”
“I want my children to be given dragon eggs as well as meet any unclaimed dragons, they are Targaryens, they should have the pick of their dragons as well”
“Done”
“I shall also be considered Rhaenyras wife, if we were to wed I shall have the same rights as my husband”
“You are suggesting the realm accept you as the future queen's consort?”
“As you mentioned I brought forward 8 children and another on the way, the crown shall accept them as future princes and princesses, if not then there is nothing for us here”
Daemon chose to observe his lady wife than speak up, she took initiative and strived for the best option, something he admired in her but he had never really witnessed how far she was willing to go to secure the future of her family, now she was sacrificing a spot in their marriage for a seat at the table, Viserys had been outsmarted by what he used to frown upon.
“Very well, we accept your conditions”
“Well then… welcome to our family Princess Rhaenyra”
-
(Y/n) and Daemon wed Rhaenyra as they had once done while their children and the rest of their family watched, Rhaenyra had underestimated the lady, (y/n) and might not be as assertive or rebellious as Daemon but her wits and calculated movements showed a woman that walked with her head held high and every step was thought after.
The days turned to seasons and then years, everyone was holding their breaths as they took a front-row seat to one of the most important marriages and alliances within the Targaryen Dynasty.
(Y/n) was held in the best light by the small folk, “the realms mother”, and “the Alyssane reborn” as her fertility kept thriving, blessing Daemon with another set of twins soon after Rhaenyra was wed, the two beautiful baby girls were named Megaera and Valera, the first of their family to receive dragon eggs on their cradles a gift by Rhaenyra who picked them herself then came Aegon, Viserys, and Visenya, overall (y/n) had the castle of Dragonstone filled with children, 13 to be precise.
Rhaenyra was painfully aware of how those babies came to fruition, Daemon's thirst for his wife was evident and he did not even consider giving Rhaenyra the courtesy of hiding, Rhaenyra had lost count of the times she had walked in on (y/n), and Daemon lusting after one another at all hours of the day and any room that was close to them, she sometimes wondered if the legends of Rhaenys being the favorite wife of Aegon made Visenya go through what Rhaenyra was also experiencing, is that mayhaps the reason behind Rhaenyra identifying with the warrior queen?
As (y/n) and Daemon stood by Rhaenyra at court, defending her and consulting her on important matters, painting the picture of a happy marriage with two spouses that supported her revolutionary claim, the realm expected Rhaenyra to bare a child as well, (y/n) was producing heirs one after the other, Rhaenyras womb laid empty since Daemon did not spend not even one night in her chambers.
It was the first time in years that the three of them had stepped foot in kings landing, Vaemond had called the court to usurp Lucerys from his claim at the driftwood throne, naturally, all 13 of their children were present along with the three boys from Rhaenyras previous marriage, (y/n) insisted that it would show how United they are and having that strong of a number on their side would scare off any other accusations.
A solid plan, until Ser Vaemond decided to protest against the king affirming young Lucerys as the successor for the driftwood throne.
“You run your house as you see fit, but I would rather die than let that boy take over my family’s name, parading around because you are too blind to see the truth”
“You dare question the decision of a king?”
“Look at them, all thirteen of them hold the characteristics of old Valyrian, true born heirs that I would happily accept as mine even though they came from a womb of a commoner, and you ask me to accept these three boys as Velaryons? It is blasphemy”
“You are certainly bold Ser Vaemond, you have the nerve to call me a commoner when I hold the future queen and the brother of the king as my spouses, my children are not thirteen, but sixteen, and all of them hold their names with pride, it saddens my heart to see that the thirst for recognition has turned you to this low of antics”
“Her children are BASTARDS! and she. Is. A. Whore”
“Pity, you had such great potential”
As (y/n) finished her sentence Daemon had taken the liberty to end Ser Vaemonds life, a clean cut through his head right above his tongue with the great sword dark sister, causing most people to gasp while (y/n) smirked and watched the body fall on the well-polished floor.
“No one disrespects our family”
“Disarm him!”
“No need, my love”
Daemon stretched his hand to his beloved (y/n) who only turned to pinch Lucerys cheek before she took her husband's hand to walk away, only to halt and turn around again, looking back to the rest of her family members.
“Rhaenyra”
Rhaenyra was grateful for (y/n)s graciousness, there was nothing that she could hold against her, she was loving and caring to her three boys, she would listen to Rhaenyra about any concerns for hours and even now she defended and included her in front of everyone.
She should be satisfied with such, still a thorn stuck in her heart and pride making Rhaenyra feel second best when it came to Daemon's heart, it has always been (y/n), (y/n) carried his offspring’s, he gave up everything for her, took her away and gave her a life full of gifts and love, the finest of any kind was reserved for (y/n).
“Pardon my intrusion, the princess is requesting Prince Daemon in her chamber”
“It is late, can it not wait?”
“Sweetling, the poor girl cannot know, go to her, I will be waiting for you”
“Fine, take your nightgown off for me, I want us to get straight to it when I get back”
Daemon whispered deviously before he planted a passionate kiss on the lips he most adored, reluctantly pulled away with an audible gruff and followed the servant girl silently, wondering what was so important that he had to leave his precious bed and his lustful wife right in the heat of the moment.
Rhaenyra paced back and forth with impatience written all over her demeanor and face, Daemon always had an influence over her, making her feel like a little girl again, though this was a different type of anxiety, once Daemon entered the room and the servant gave them their privacy Rhaenyra took a deep inhale through the nose to ease her nerves.
“I hoped to confront you over our marriage”
“What of it?”
“Do you truly think everything is fine or are you just blind?”
“I and my wife have honored our vows”
“That is the problem, you and your wife, it has never been just your vows”
“When you wed us you were to understand your place when it came to me and (y/n), I never used her as a surprise, you called for our aid and we generously offered it”
He was right, Rhaenyra had never been blindsided by them, (y/n) was a staple of their marriage, (y/n)s strive for the legitimacy of her children was the only reason Daemon allowed their wedding to happen, (y/n) had drank for Rhaenyras cup just as daemon had, binding their hands together and swore loyalty and devotion to their future queen.
As a woman Rhaenyra felt cast aside, this marriage was an insult to her pride, and having to bare through a birth of a child one after the other with a smile on her face was a twist of a knife in her wound, while her womb lay empty.
“You refuse to spend time with me, alone, you only show up with your children-“
“Our children, (y/n) and I call your sons our sons”
“At court yes”
“Are you questioning our actions? I did not have you to be as dim-witted as you seem right now, (y/n) called Lucerys her trueborn son in front of everyone, I took a man’s head for insulting you and our house and yet you stand before me and claim it is not enough for your liking?”
“I stand here to remind you that we have yet to produce a child, you can kill as many men as you wish, and (y/n) can scream it at the top of her lungs but that does not change that everyone sees her parading her belly and call her the realms mother while my womb rottenness under this wedlock”
“Rotten? Alright then, let us entertain this and say you bare my child, a silver-haired beauty that the realm will welcome, has it crossed that brilliant mind of yours that this will be more of a scandal for your three boys?”
“My sons are Targaryens”
“No doubt about it, but certainly they do not look like the part, in comparison to their brothers and sisters they look more like (y/n) than you”
“You are not refusing to lay with me to hush the rumors, you simply do not have the urge for it, I remember a time that you did, mayhaps it was the image of a gullible girl that kept you going”
“Listen and listen well, wife, (y/n) is my eternal love, the woman that took me in her arms and showed me life, you are my blood, I protected you, I defended you, I offered you sanctuary just so you can once again have something to complain about, well that is it, if you dare to summon me again for such idiotic matters I will grab my brother by the neck and force him to annul the marriage do you understand?”
Daemon was furious, as he spoke he started taking steps towards her, to the point that her back found the wall and Daemon was inches away from her face, hissing out the threat of annulment like a snake that released poison to its prey.
Rhaenyra had never experienced such hostility from Daemon, to say she was shocked was an understatement as her eyes frantically tried to find focus on his, daemons eyes were filled with fury, Rhaenyra had crossed the line in his mind, (y/n) had been kind and honorable to the princess, doing her duty like a proper lady wife and Rhaenyra scoffed at her, at his (y/n).
“Alright”
“Wonderful, now you must excuse me, I have some urgent matters that need my attention”
Requests are open!
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azrielhours · 11 days
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Hey rags! I was thinking about the fact that Azriel isn’t unhappy but he is lonely, i would love to read something written by you were Azriel is just extremely happy when he finds his mate and they’re both laying naked on bed and he is just thinking about how lonely he was and he didn’t even notice until now. Maybe he kept having lovers to try and fill that loneliness inside him but it didn’t work, it’s just with his mate he feels loved
Love Letter
wc: 500
Laying with Azriel was one of the best parts of being with him.
Sex aside, passion and loud loving, explicit testimonies—
The quiet peace of being with him was unparalleled. You sighed, snuggling closer, breathing him in deeply. Relishing his naked glory pressing heat into your skin. Pressing safety onto it. In it, as you so often felt strumming down the bond.
He stroked your back. This was routine after lovemaking, and it was just as good as the erotic high.
You open your body to him, your heart, and now the bond.
A sensation of bittersweetness flowing through it had you cracking an eye open.
He continued to stroke your back, gazing absently, still at the ceiling.
The feeling persisted. A tang of ancient ache hummed through your chest cavity.
You frowned. “Az?”
He looked down at you.
“You okay?”
His brows rose slightly. “Yes, my love. Why?”
You bit your lip. The feeling had halted, but whatever had prompted it…
“I—uh, could feel—” This was new, the transmission of soul, and yet—“Um, the bond, baby,” you finished quietly. “Is… everything okay?” Had you done something wrong?
“Oh,” he breathed. He searched your eyes as you waited apprehensively. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I was just, uh—” he broke your gaze, seeking courage beyond the vulnerability in your eyes that threatened his resolve greater than even an open mating bond did his honesty.
A deep breath. “I was just… remembering,” he spoke softly. Swallowing. “How it felt before all this. Before I got to have you.”
Oh. “How did it feel?”
Azriel met your gaze again. “I’d been so lost. Just… existing. Waiting.” Seeking. He didn’t want to think about how he sought it with his whole being—a mate. How he drained himself onto females, old and new lovers, strangers, chasing physical intimacy like empty promises, trying to fill the soul-deep void. Failing over and over. He took another steadying breath. “I’ve always known I craved a mate, but having you now, I guess I—just never truly understood how alone I’d been.” Save for now, with the abundance of you filling him, utterly overflowing. Waking him up.
Your heart broke. He felt that too, resuming stroking your back, pulling you tighter. Reassuring you in the wake of his confession.
“I’m sorry,” you muttered.
He huffed a laugh. “What for?”
You shrugged. “For… I don’t know. Taking this long to find you.”
He laughed again, kissing you. “Finding you in the end is worth all of it.”
Your throat closed with emotion. Another silently conveyed love letter sent to his sternum. He wrapped his other arm around you. You buried your face in his neck, knowing no words would sufficiently convey what your heart was already whispering to his. I love you. I’m here to stay. I would take all the pain away if I could. You’re mine and I am yours. Azriel. Azriel. Azriel.
His heart sang in answer, filling you with such ferocious love it soothed any pain on his behalf. He exhaled, this time in contentment, declaring again, “You’re worth it all, my love.”
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procrastiel · 20 days
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My highlights from The Assembly:
Was John Taylor from Duran Duran your first ever crush? “Yes, he absolutely was.” Michael thought he was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen, man or woman. And he tried to imitate his hairdo (didn’t work out though, because Michael’s hair is really curly and John’s is straight).
He’s not brave enough to go on Strictly because he thinks he’s not a good dancer.
How does it feel to be dating someone that is only 5 years older than your daughter? “Both of us were quite surprised when we got together, it wasn’t something we were looking for. I haven’t dated anyone who is much younger than me but you meet who you meet. We were both very aware how people might respond, and that it would be difficult and challenging, but ultimately we felt that it was worth it, because of how we felt about each other. And now we have two beautiful children together. We’re really, really happy. I am aware that I am a much older father, and it does worry me, and makes me concerned, and makes me sad thinking about the time that I won’t have with them. But if you find someone who brings you happiness and you make them happy you gotta go for that. So that’s what we decided to do, and I’m so happy we did because we have this wonderful family now.”
The next question (asked by the same girl) was: Who is the rudest celebrity? “Have you heard of a man called David Tennant? He was Doctor Who. Doctor rude! No he’s very nice. Someone will occur to me and I’ll let you know. (pause) Jennifer Laurence was very cheeky! She is very cheeky.”
How tall are you? “I’d like to be 5”11 but I’m closer to 5”10.”
He likes Dylan Thomas, even though he doesn’t understand all of his poetry.
He cries probably every day. And it’s totally fine to feel things deeply and get emotional about things.
His favourite Disney film is Moana. And that’s Mabli’s favourite movie at the moment, too. She watches it about twice a day.
He’s worried that AI will take his job away, and that it will change everything, not just actors and writers. And that by the time we will want to put a stop to certain things it’ll be too late.
His favourite food is Egg and chips. Only enhanced by ham.
He loves going by train.
If he could replace 2 people of the royal family he’d take away Andrew & Camilla and replace them with Joe Lycett & David Attenborough. Or Tom Jones as the Prince of Wales!
If he could play the Doctor or the Master, he’d like to play the Master and play opposite David Tennant as the Doctor.
His biggest fear is being alone. And it’s also what he worries about the most for other people.
Hot or cold? He does like winter and snow. ❄️
Walk us through the before, during and after of the kiss with David Tennant: reading the script he thought “that’s gonna be a big deal”. They didn’t really talk about it and just went for it. Everyone was quite moved by the scene, all the people around them, so they knew it had gone quite well. And now they never talk about it. (He said that last bit with a smile.)
5 OF THE INTERVIEWERS SANG HERE COMES THE SUN FOR HIM AND EVERYONE JOINED IN AT THE END 😍 Michael had tears in his eyes
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riverbutghost · 8 months
Text
He is much more older than you || 2
(sorry, this is a bit longer than I intended it to be and no more parts are coming, just your imagination ;)) part 1 here || part 3 here!!
You still couldn’t help but think about his words over and over again. It was hurtful, getting scolded from him was always hurtful. But this was something else, he had rejected you.
“Sir,”
You mumbled, and opened the door after he had told you to come in.
You didn’t say a word. You didn’t look at him. What happened to ‘You weren’t going to stop?’ huh?
You didn’t know what to do, God you weren’t that brave either. Your last encounter left something in your heart. A little crack.
You sighed, it was simple. You decided to not say anything if he didn’t, and if he did well, you weren’t sure if you could control your emotions.
“How are you?”
Yeah.
“I’m fine, sir. Have a good day.”
You mumbled and got out. Almost immediately after you left, your chest started tightening. You breathed deeply.
“Hey, long time no see!”
You jumped, all of the folders in your hand dropped to the floor.
“Oh my God, Gaz.”
You exclaimed, and he just laughed. You laughed too after a while, he was back. You started chatting with him, your mind was slowly losing your lieutenant’s words.
-
Simon on the other hand, wasn’t feeling all settled.
“Oh my God, Gaz.”
He heard your voice, slight excitement in it. His eyebrows were furrowed immediately. He felt primal, raging as if someone stole his mate.
As your voice were dying down, he got up and locked his door. He pulled off his mask, and rubbed his temple quite aggressively.
“Fuckin’ hell..”
He sighed. He knew he was denying it, everything. He was denying it, because that was easier. Easier than loving you. He knew it, and he hope you did too.
But this wasn’t enough. He was angry, hungry. He didn’t know what he wanted- no he knew. You.
“Sir..?”
He jumped up, grabbed his mask and put it on after hearing your soft, delicate voice.
“Yeah-yeah. Come in.”
You got in, a smile forming on your face. You were in a lighter mood, he assumed.
“Price told me to drop these off..”
You said, while giving him some of the documents that you were carrying. He sighed and thanked you, your scent making him feel.. yeah.
He cleared his throat, and you looked at him. You blinked a few times under your thick long eyelashes. He gave a breath.
“Gaz is back?”
“Yeah, thank god he is alive. Would you like a coffee, sir?”
His thighs tensed, and he fisted his hand. Closing his eyes, he shook his head.
“Are you okay-?”
He panicked, he didn’t want you to see it.
“Get out.”
There it was. You knew it would be like this if you ket your hopes up.
A disappointed sigh left your mouth as you got out of his room. Simon cursed himself, for making you sad again.
He was going to regret this.
He called your name. Yelled it, actually.
You turned around in shock, body tensing as your eyes connected with his’
“Yeah..?”
You mumbled. Confusion spread over your face.
“I. Fuck, come here.”
“What?”
He sighed and got up, steps coming in a hurry. He backed you up into the door, and you gasped quietly. You looked up at him.
“Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?”
He calmly but firmly said, making your knees go weak.
“What am I doing to you, sir?”
He slammed his fist next to your head, cursing at the same time. You flinched. You liked it. He was finally caving in.
“You and this fuckin’ filthy little mouth. Beautiful little mouth.”
He looked up, almost trying to gain some control.
“Fuck it. I’m done playing games. Get over to the desk. Come on now, pretty girl.”
Your breathing was unsteady, your heart was pounding. You thighs were dripping.
“You asked for it, now get over to the desk. Let’s see if that’s what you want. This sweet little face is gonna be messed up.”
He clicked his tongue and rolled his sleeves up, making you mutter an ‘oh fuck’.
You knees buckled, but he held your waist.
“Now.”
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mae-falling-in-may · 1 year
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My Little Flower | The Darkling x Fem!Reader
I wrote this just after finishing the season 2 of Shadow And Bone, it broke me so like it's a bit of a comfort fic I guess ? Just the way Aleksander was possessive of Alina made me feel things and I'm sorry about this... just a few heads up, I'm no Alina hater (I love her) I just needed to add a bit of tension in this, and also this is the first time I fully write smut AND that I post it on the internet. I'm very self conscious about smut because huh, I'm not the best writer in the world and english is not my first language. I still do hope you'll like it, I had fun writing it !!
Pairing : The Darkling x Fem!Reader
Warnings : very light spoilers, SMUT, jealous reader, kinda possessive!dark!aleksander ? established relationship, claiming, oral sex (f receiving) unprotected sex (protect urselves pls), p in v sex, dom/sub dynamics, creampie, 18+ only MINORS DNI!!!
Summary : Aleksander comes back from the dead, you feel your heart drop when you see him, darker than ever, the scars on his face making you feel weak. He's determined to get the sun summoner, and you're scared that he's drifting from you, but he will show you who you belong to.
Words : 3k
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He came back. The one who held you with just one finger, the one who could get you on your knees just with one word. General Kirigan, your General. Hearing what happened in the Fold with the sun summoner and him, broke you. Hell, you didn't know if what happened between you two meant something to him, but you would do anything to make him feel at least something.
My little flower he called you, away from all curious glances. That was the nickname he gave to you, and you held it. You answered it, maybe he called you to have you by his side forever, only for his plans, maybe it was just all an act, but heck, you fell deeply. You fell so deep that nothing would ever make you betray him. You wanted to be with him until you'll be killed in the field, or even just died at his own hands. Whether it was love or a crazy obsession, seeing him alive made your heart much lighter than it was before. You clenched your fists, dangerously planting your nails in your own flesh to keep you from running to him.
His silhouette, his voice, his dark gaze, and his newfound scars, everything about him made your breath hitch. All you could think of right now while he was walking towards other grishas and you, were absolutely disgusting thoughts about how you would go under him to help him relieve himself. You unconsciously held your breath while he was walking towards you. He approached dangerously, all of your body was calling you to be at his service. You gasped for air when he spoke to you.
"My little flower." He whispered, really close to your face so no one could hear him talk. "I'm glad that my most precious Grisha is here." 
You didn't manage to form a proper sentence, you were just stuttering words, and Aleksander saw how you were so emotional. You could only whisper the words: "You're alive.", before bursting into tears. He gently took you into his arms and shushed you.
"It's okay, little flower. I am back, and I'll need you more than anything for what we'll accomplish. Come and join me after dinner please ?" You could only nod while letting your tears drop freely.
~
"I need the Little Saint, you need to locate her, quickly, I want every information you have on her or anyone who's with her, you hear me ?" The tension in the room was heavy, all you could do with your fellow Grishas was to answer "Yes, General." You all waited for him to dismiss every one of you, and with a flick of his hands, he did. They left the room, as you stayed and waited for anything that he could ask you to do. Anything. You heard him shift into his armchair, and when you let yourself stare at him, your mind raced.
She was the one that caused all of this, seeing your General in this state made your heart clench. If only she listened to him, or you had been her, your General wouldn't be suffering like that. A deep cough startled you and your gaze got on Aleksander again, he was sick. You rushed towards him, obviously worried. You kneeled before him, putting a hand on his back and the other one on his knee.
"My General, are you unwell? What happened there ?" The shakiness of your voice betrayed you. 
"Flower." He whispered. "I… It's my new power. The nichevo'ya, they're shadow creatures. They defend me when I'm in danger." He locked his eyes into yours, dark and full of fatigue. You felt him drifting off from you. An explosive wave of emotions passed through you when he looked at you. Was it worry? Hatred for the Sun Summoner? Jealousy? Or just everything that you felt for the General was crashing down deep into your being. You gulped, your mind going from one worry to another, then you asked him quietly.
"Is there anything I can do, my General ?" He lowered his head and waited a bit before answering. "I fear that I do not have a solution for my state right now, flower. I just need… The Sun Summoner, Alina…" He stopped himself, what for? You didn't know, but everything collapsed around you. He didn't need you, the nickname he gave you meant nothing. All you could do was make him feel a bit better about this. You'll bring him back Alina, you swore on your life that you'll do anything for him right? Then you'll do it, even though it will hurt more than you admitted. 
You stood up, he looked at you, confusion and worry in his eyes. You tried to compose yourself and explained.
"I swore on my life that I'll do anything for you, General, if you want the Sun Summoner, I'll bring her back to you, even if I have to die trying to." You waited for an answer, an approval, anything, he stayed silent. You finally turned to leave the room, the sound of your steps resonating on the walls. You didn't want to leave, you wanted to stay, but hell seeing him like that hurt. You were about to open the door and leave when he stopped you with his voice.
"Flower. Please." You heard him stand up, and slow steps coming towards you. "You're the only one that can help me right now. Are you rejecting me? Your General ?" You felt tears building up again, you didn't know how you could tell him how you feel, having him obsessing over his Little Saint was so painful. But did you really have your right to speak up about it? You were just a Grisha, like any other Grisha here, you weren't her, yet you wanted to be her. You faced him back, letting your tears drop freely over your cheeks.
"How could I reject you when I'm not even yours, General? I know you need her, and I know I'll never be her, I've accepted it. Let me accomplish this for you, my General." You sounded hurt, exhausted, and deeply in love. He was dangerously approaching you by now, and for the first time in months, or hell maybe even years, he spoke your name. Not calling you Flower, like he loved to, just your name. He whispered it, and it felt so good on his lips. He cupped your face with his hand softly making you look at him, he seemed hurt.
"You don't understand. Yes, she is the Sun Summoner, and yes, I need her for every reason I already told you. But, what she is not, and will never be, is my precious little Flower. And you know who this is right? You, you belong to me, and I belong to you. I'll never deny that I wished you were the Sun Summoner, so we could accomplish everything together." Even with this, you couldn't believe him, your mind repeated to you that you meant nothing to him and that you weren't her. Even with his hand on your cheek, you couldn't let yourself breathe for him.
"Please, General, don't make me hope for something that I'm unworthy of." Something seemed to snap inside him when he heard the word "unworthy". He abruptly put his arm around your waist and pushed your body towards him with his hand on your back. The hurt gaze he wore before turned into something different, into something frightening.
"Do not use this word to qualify yourself, my flower. You are way more than that. You're my most precious Grisha, my most precious ally, and my dear, dear, friend." His words were spilled like tasty poison, so dangerous but yet, so good. You couldn't help but whimper under his touch. You knew how Aleksander could be possessive, but you simply refused to let yourself believe you were in his catalog. 
Hearing you whimper satisfied him, he let a small smile creep on his face, and he slowly buried his face into your neck. "If you don't believe my words maybe I'll need to show you who you belong to, flower." He kissed your neck, making a path towards your jaw, then your lips. He made sure to dry your tears before kissing you, you sighed into him, your arms making their way to his shoulders. You felt helpless whenever he touched you like this, thinking of nothing more but to please him right now, in this room.
He broke the kiss that left you both breathless, he took a moment to look at you, your eyes, your face, lips, jaw, and neck, and he felt you burning for him. He loves the hold that he had on you. "To bed, without your clothes, please." Even if he would love ripping out your kefta from your body, to expose all of yourself to him, he couldn't, he already had to deal with the million layers of his outfit. So he just followed you to the bed, while you were removing your boots, then your kefta, and then everything that went under it. He was getting rid of his clothing too, but getting distracted by how beautiful you looked for him, his hands stopped doing what he originally wanted to do, and your voice interrupted the silence.
"Do you need help, General ?" You were almost fully naked in front of him, a wave of arousal went through his body, making wearing pants uncomfortable. He nodded at you first, then when you were getting rid of his first few layers of clothes he spoke again.
"Please flower, tonight, only call me by my name. Can you do that ?" You eagerly nodded while you were getting rid of his final upper layer, revealing his scarred torso to you. You let your fingers trail on some of them, wanting to kiss every bit of scars he had on his body. He smiled, loving your admiration and worship, he missed it. He took your wrists in his hand and smiled down at you. 
"I know how much you love to worship me, flower, but not yet, you'll do it when I pump my cock deep inside of you. Right now I want to have you at my mercy and show you who this beautiful body belongs to. You hear me ?" You nodded, unable to form more than one word because of his power over you.
"Words, flower." He removed the last bit of clothes that kept you from being naked, exposing you to him. You stuttered "Yes, I understand Aleksander.", that seemed to please him a lot. He pushed you onto the bed, making his way on top of you. He still had his pants on, enjoying the friction of the fabric when his cock was getting bigger with arousal.
"This time it will be me who worships you. I'm going to taste you and make you scream." You whimpered, while he was kissing your neck, making his way painfully slowly toward your breasts. He kissed them softly before trailing down to your stomach, then your hips. He guided you to open your legs for him and found his hands gripping the back of your thighs. He kissed the inside of your thigh before finally making his way to your perfect already wet cunt. You were this wet since the intense kiss you shared earlier, and the more you felt his touch, the more you would be needy for him. 
He first lapped your pussy, to take a taste out of it, then completely buried his face into it. You weren't ready, it's been so long since you felt any kind of pleasure down there, you gasped and moaned, already on the verge of screaming. And he was just getting started? You knew you were about to break under him. The obscene noises of him tasting all of you made your head spin. He was eating you out like he wouldn't be able to do it after. The tip of his nose was making friction with your clit, and his tongue inside of you. He groaned under you, you were delicious, and he would not get over how delicious you tasted. 
Your moans and the noises he made by tasting you filled the entire room. He was almost tongue-fucking you as you felt your release build-up. You struggled to align proper sentences, just letting out the same words, "Saints, please, Aleksander". He loved how his name sounded on your lips when you were about to come for him, but he would be sure to make you scream it. 
"I'm going to make you cum for me, flower. I want you to scream my name when you do. I don't care if anyone hears, they'll just know who you belong to. You're mine, flower."
He then sucked on your clit and took two fingers to pump them inside of you. You screamed at the newfound sensation of his fingers, and your back arched while you were begging for a release. You were so desperate for him and it made his cock ache under the layer of his pants. He wanted to stop right here and bury himself inside of you just to feel you come around him. He sucked your clit even harder and teased your folds with his fingers. His other hand squeezed your thigh as he felt you crumble under his touch. He knew you were close, you were already losing your mind, and the moans you let out were incoherent at this point. 
“I know you’re close, flower, cum for me.” You screamed his name while hanging onto the bed sheets. The heat of your orgasm flew all over your body, your back arched and your legs were trembling. The delicious feeling of your release was overwhelming, you soaked Aleksander’s face. He pulled out his fingers slowly and kissed one last time your clit, then your cunt. He straightened up so you could see his face better, his hair was a mess and he was panting. He crushed his lips onto yours hungrily, making you taste the mix of your juices and his spit. You moaned against him, your hands finding their way to his groin. You stroked the length of his cock through the fabric. You wished he was fully naked right now, so you could feel him completely. He hummed into your lips and helped you get rid of his pants.
He broke the kiss to fully remove his clothes, which was a relief to both of you. He felt uncomfortable with the hard-on he had since he had first kissed you. And you, you wanted to please him, to have the taste of his cock on your tongue, to suck him so good so he could not think about anything else but you. But you knew it wasn't part of the plan today. You saw his cock already so hard and ready to be buried inside you. You bit your lip at the thought of it, you haven't had anyone since he left for the Fold with Alina, and god you missed him.
He went back once he was fully naked to kiss the corner of your lips. "I know what's on your mind, flower. You missed me, haven't you ?" He continued to kiss your cheek, your jaw, and your neck while placing himself between your legs. You felt him lightly stroke the tip of his cock on the opening of your pussy which made you moan. "Oh, Saints, yes I've missed you Aleksander." You felt him smile on your neck while caressing your body until his hands found your hips. He faced you once again and looked at you fondly with his dark eyes. 
He licked his lips, seeing you desperate for him, he knew you were about to beg for him to fuck you. He didn't even wait for you to say a word that he pumped into you. The feeling and the heat of his cock were oddly overwhelming, and you felt you could cum right here. "I'm gonna fuck you so good, my flower." You couldn't help but moan a please, to indicate that you needed him to move. He smiled and started to thrust into you painfully slowly. 
The rhythm he gave was making you feel every inch of his heat inside of you, you were almost trembling. But you wanted more, you begged once again and put your arms around his shoulders. "Please, Aleksander, I need more." Hearing his name falling through your lips while you were begging felt so good. He let out a curse and started to move into you harder and faster. Both of you loved being in each other's arms so you were on the verge of losing your minds.
The room was filled with your moans, the sound of both your skin slapping on each other, Aleksander's light panting while he was thrusting into you, and the obscene wet sounds of his cock going in and out of your soaked cunt. You wanted this moment to last forever, to have Aleksander all for yourself. The sound he made while fucking you was pushing you closer and closer to your release, and he felt it too. "Flower come on my cock with me please ?" You could only nod, overwhelmed by these sensations.
"I want to fill you up, love, can I ?" It was the first time he called you that, you couldn't even process the name you just wanted the both of you to cum. You almost screamed "Yes, please Aleksander.", you were so loud for him, so good to him, you'd never let him go. 
The wave of your orgasm reached you when his thrusts became erratic. Your cunt clenched around him as he finally got the release you seek. You felt his hot seed splashing into you, while he reached to kiss you again while filling you completely. You moaned against his mouth, enjoying everything he gave you. 
"You're mine, my little flower, mine only."
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hinatiny · 15 days
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crazy ੈ✩‧₊˚ akaashi keiji
in which akaashi is so crazy for you, he barely knows how to cope with it. getting you flustered is one way though.
w.c: 0.6k
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akaashi loves you. so much, so dearly, that he’s convinced he’ll die if you ever slip away from his fingers. he’s convinced heaven and all that is holy is wherever you are, and that he’ll be denied access if he ever does something atrocious enough for you to leave him.
akaashi loves you. so much, so deeply, that it hurts, as if loving you equals diving into a vast ocean of emotions where every wave carries the sweetest currents of affection.
akaashi loves you. so much, so intensely, that he feels like he could cry.
of course, he doesn’t. at least not while you’re sitting in a study room - doing anything and everything but studying. he knows that if he were to suddenly tear up and sniffle and sob out of nowhere, it would only worry you, and what is he supposed to say when you question it? “i just love you so much and it sometimes scares me that i’m able to love someone to this extent, i genuinely can’t see a future where you’re not part of it and if there is one like that i don’t want it because maybe we’re just some goofy college students right now but i can’t wait to move in with you in our new apartment next month because there’s nothing i want more than to spend the rest of my life with you and all of this is so overwhelming but i wouldn’t change that for the world.” is that how he feels? most definitely. will he express that? nah, not really.
akaashi doesn’t say much, for now content with listening to you ramble on about your day, your yesterday, your tomorrow, your new plastic plants you’d bought for your apartment, your storage of gossip newly stocked from some of your classmates, and everything between heaven and earth as you munch on pocky every now and then. he doesn’t say much, but you can tell he’s still attentive to every word he says by the way he nods, hums, occasionally comments something or asks for further details. more than anything though, you know he’s listening by the fondness in his eyes and the small but true smile that lingers on his lips.
“so i’m not crazy for wanting to clock her that day, am i? i mean, obviously i didn’t do it or i would probably get expelled but with her attitude i clearly wasn’t in the wrong for at least considering it, right?”
now, akaashi doesn’t condone violence, and he would stop you had you ever decided to act on that option, but he nods in the palm of his hand, puffs an airy chuckle before expressing that you weren’t in the wrong. if that’s enough to make you laugh at him for even agreeing, he’ll make such exceptions any day of the week.
“you know, normal people wouldn’t agree like that,” you grin.
“you know, normal people wouldn’t consider clocking a classmate for something like that.” akaashi raises a playfully judgemental eyebrow at you.
“well, guess i must be crazy then.” you giggle at the sigh he lets out, following up with how you have to stop saying such things so proudly, although his smile widens the slightest bit. you tuck a chocolate-coated stick between your lips, speaking past it, “but you still love me.”
he blinks at you, once, twice but soon gets up his feet, hardly rushed but fast enough for you to not properly process how his palm shortly after goes from his chin to fall flat on the table; the one of his other hand finds your jaw, holding your cheeks so gently, just barely squeezing them between his fingertips. 
akaashi does love you, so so so much, he doesn’t doubt for a second that he might be the luckiest man on earth. he doesn’t express that either though, and instead hides his overflowing emotions behind a sly smirk as he tucks the other end of the stick between his own lips. “guess i’m even crazier then.”
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wheredafandomat · 1 year
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Queen of the nine
Loki x female queen! Reader
18+| contains angst, smut, powerful queen bitch reader!
Basically Loki is locked up and you gotta go get your man
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“Loki, don’t go, don’t leave me, please.” You pleaded, practically on your knees as you tugged his tunic.
“I—” he began, glancing down at you in a moment of uncertainty before his resolve returned “I must reclaim my rightful throne.” He declared.
“B-but you promised,” you whimpered, “you said we could leave together, make our own destiny.” You sniffled remembering your own cursed fate.
“This is me making my own destiny.”
It had been another uneventful day. Between signing truces and assigning roles, there was little room for one’s own enjoyment. You had recently taken up crocheting as a hobby yet you found little time to finish any projects. One thing you could agree with your late mother on was that this job wasn’t for the faint hearted or anyone with any desire for creativity. This job was demanding, it required those who were able to remain stoic and impartial, something that was unnatural to anyone with any kind emotion. People always waited for smiles, frowns, any slither of adour, something that took every ounce of energy to not express. To do nothing was the hardest job of all. That’s why you found yourself breathing deeply when one of your chambermaids greeted you with the news of Queen Frigga of Asgards passing. In that moment, every memory of the place that you had fought to bury deep within your psyche surfaced. The moments spent laughing, learning from Frigga, walking through her flower garden holding hands with Loki, Loki. You bit your lip as you recalled every precious second spent with Loki; the smiles, the kisses, the love, the sex, the promises, the deceit, everything up until the point he abandoned you.
“Your majesty, your majesty.” She called, getting your attention again.
“Yes, sorry.”
“Will you be attending the royal ceremony?”
“Yes, could you arrange a carriage for me please.”
“Of course.”
Your journey to Asgard was a quiet one, your gaze cast over the mountains as you tried to bite down every last fragment of emotion you had, especially in front of your foot soldiers. When they looked at you they saw a valiant queen, not a weeping wench; you wanted to preserve the former. The closer you drew, the more uneven your breaths were. You wondered how Loki looked, whether he looked as aged as you no doubt did. After hearing that his conquest for Midgard was unsuccessful, there was nothing more. By the time that you had become queen, you found yourself disinterested in how Loki ended up. You did discover that he resided in Asgard again but you didn’t want to visit to be certain, you couldn’t. Now however, you wished you had, considering you were about to be reunited with the man who left you the morning after declaring his undying love for you. What if things were awkward? No, this was Loki, your Loki.
“Your majesty, we have arrived.” One of the men spoke. You snapped out of your thoughts, looking out of the casement, eyes widening as you took in the familiar gates of the palace. Before you could open the door, it swung open.
“Your majesty.” Thor greeted, offering his hand as he helped you out.
“Thor.” You smiled, hugging him tightly once you stepped out. You hadn’t realised how much you had missed him. “Although I am happy to see you, I apologise that it isn’t under better circumstances.” You frowned as you pulled apart. His smile faltered for a moment before he replied.
“Thank you your maj—”
“It’s simply y/n to you.” You noted.
“Y/n then.” He corrected himself before pulling you into another hug. You looked around, unable to resist the feeling of despondency you felt at not seeing Loki.
“Where’s Loki?” You questioned, mumbling into his shoulder.
“He—um.” Thor stuttered causing you to break the hug.
“Thor?”
“Imprisoned.” He stated.
“Where?” You gasped.
“Here.” Thor spoke, scratching the back of his neck nervously as he observed your reaction.
“Here? On Asgard?” You almost choked.
“Yes.” He nodded.
“Odin has his son, prince of Asgard, imprisoned on Asgard?” You questioned incredulously.
“Yes.” He mumbled.
“Today of all days?” You scoffed getting angrier.
“Yes.” Thor confirmed quietly.
“Take me to Odin!”
You made your way to the royal chambers of the palace where Odin was currently. Thor knocked his door before receiving passage only to be pushed passed by you.
“Y/n” Odin smiled “I’m glad to see you made it here safe.”
“My condolences.” You offered, making your way to him before you exchanged a quick hug in greeting.
“Well as you know, I’ve still got a realm to govern” he shrugged, breaking the hug “not much time to grieve” he added, although you could tell he was hurting.
“Of course.” You agreed.
“Sit.” He spoke, gesturing to a chair. “What bothers you child?”
“It’s Loki.” You answered. Odin's jaw clenched before he replied.
“Loki? What about Loki?” He answered, seemingly angry at the mention of him.
“Am I right in thinking you’ve got him imprisoned here?”
“Yes, he’s a traitor to Asgard.” Odin spat.
“But today of all days—”
“He is a traitor y/n.” Odin insisted
“He deserves to say goodbye too, she was his moth—”
“No.”
“Ple—”
“No!” He thundered causing some of your guards to push through the door before you stood, gesturing them away. Once you had assured them that you were fine, you turned your focus onto Odin again.
“Apologies for the intrusion but you’d do well to remember that I’m not the child that left Asgard, I am a queen, the queen of the nine and therefore your superior. My asking was a kindnesses, but now, I order it.” You spoke firmly. Odin narrowed his gaze slightly, jaw clenching again as you studied his expression, finding it hard to remember that he wasn’t actually Loki's biological father despite their uncanny resemblance in this moment. Exhaling, Odin relaxed.
“No, you aren’t the same y/n that left here, although, I see your devotion to Loki hasn’t changed.”
You opened your mouth to answer before he spoke again.
“Very well, Loki has today, he’ll have to return to the dungeons this time tomorrow and not a moment later.”
“Thank you.” You smiled curtly before turning to leave.
“And y/n, you’d do well to remember that you are a guest in my realm.” Odin asserted almost warningly, causing you to pause.
“And yet, I’m more powerful than you in it” you answered, flicking your wrist as you turned to face him again before an apple appeared in your hand.
“What’s this?” Odin scoffed.
“A ticket” you stated “one night, one bite and you’ll be reunited with her although only briefly, your time isn’t now.” You finished in a whisper, handing him the apple as a gift for allowing you to see Loki as well as a demonstration of your power.
“Thank you.” He nodded earnestly before you left.
“Please, release Loki.” You instructed Thor.
Once Thor had left, you busied yourself in the throne room, taking the time to sit and appreciate the view from Asgards Throne.
“It suits you, regality.”
“And yet a throne would suit you ill Loki.” You answered, gaze focusing on the man walking out from behind a pillar.
“Would it?” He questioned, stepping towards you.
“You’d realise that a throne doesn’t change anything, you’d still be a Jotun, you’d still feel unloved and you’d still be angry Loki, just all whilst sitting on a throne.” You explained.
“A throne nonetheless.” He shrugged as he reached you before kneeling, picking your hand up and placing a kiss at the back of it. “Y/n.” He addressed fondly.
“Hello Loki.” You grinned, Loki reciprocating your smile. Standing up, you threw your arms around him in a tight embrace. “I’m sorry for your loss.” You spoke into his chest as he held you tighter before pulling back, cupping your cheeks.
“Thank you, for giving me today.”
Nodding, you hugged him again.
The ceremony for Frigga was pleasant, although still. Asgard was grieving their queen, an irreplaceable force. Following the official ceremony was a party celebrating her life and rein. This event was a lot more joyous, upbeat.
A plethora of staff greeted you, having remembered you from when you were younger, praising the woman you had grown into. As well as that, there were kings and queens from other realms saluting you, thanking you.
“Care to dance?” Loki offered as he approached you leaving some of the other royals shocked at his brazy behavior; they obviously didn’t know your history with him.
“Very well.” You accepted, placing your hand in his open one.
Loki held you against him as you began waltzing around the room, nearly all eyes on you both.
“Do you remember in our youth when we’d sneak in here and pretend it was our wedding?” Loki recalled as you smiled zealously.
“And we’d pretend our juice was wine.” You added.
“Before we grew older and realised that wine wasn’t actually all that pleasant.” Loki chuckled.
“Yes, then we realised that if we were to actually wed, we wouldn’t finish the night drinking wine.” You snickered.
“No, we discovered something else.” He spoke teasingly before dipping you, your eyes focused intensely on one another’s before he slowly picked you up again, holding you firmly against him as the moment passed.
“So” you began, clearing your throat “in your conquest to take over half the realms, did you encounter any loving princesses, or maybe a prince?” You queried.
“A bit of both” he answered, a pang of jealousy reverberating through you “I expect the same as you but nothing that ever compared to my first love, to you.” He finished, his hands finding your waist as you lifted your head from his chest.
“I fear I wasn’t your first love Loki.” You admitted, Loki’s brows knitting questioningly. “Your first love, your first companion was dejection” you explained, hand running through his hair “I only wish I had entered your life sooner, maybe things would have turned out differently.”
Loki closed his eyes, hand finding the small of your back as you continued swaying.
“Maybe not.” He uttered.
Once the night drew to an end, you as well as the other guest royals were escorted to your rooms for the night. Loki insisted he escort you so halfway though you told your men to head to bed. The both of you walked, back of your hands touching occasionally. When you reached your door, you found yourself wishing the walk was longer.
“Tonight was—” you started.
“Delightful.” Loki finished.
“Yes, delightful.” You agreed, your eyes meeting again.
“Well, goodnight y/n.” Loki bid leaving you feeling a little forlorn.
“Goodnight Loki.” You smiled curtly before turning and opening the door, closing it behind you as your back hit the door with a thump and a sigh. You thought about Loki, about opening the door, hugging him, kissing him. You thought about the possibility of this being the last time you see him, the last time you touch him. Your mind swam with questions, thoughts, regrets before you decided you’d quickly chase after Loki. Turning, you swung the door open before being met by Loki who was still facing it. Exchanging a small laugh between you both, you kissed him deeply, Loki reciprocating your eagerness before you pulled him inside, closing the door behind him. Loki was quick to discard of both your clothes, kneeling once again as he kissed your stomach. He lifted your legs, helping you step out of your underwear before he was exploring your centre with his mouth. It felt like old times again, your relationship restored in a matter of hours like no time had passed. As always, he had you a moaning mess before laying you against the bed and kissing you passionately. You widened your legs as he positioned himself between them, kissing your neck as he rutted against you.
“I want you.” You spoke softly, looking up at him as you smoothed his hair out of his face.
“I’m right here y/n.” He answered, taking your hand and kissing it before entering you. You both moaned as Loki bottomed out, lacing his fingers with yours.
The sex was slow, intimate, consuming. Each calculated thrust erased decades away from each other, every round removing centuries. Your mind expunged the hurt, the betrayal, the desolation as he drove into you, chest pressed to yours. You could feel his heartbeat, feel his breath tickling your ear, feel him evading you in the most pleasant way. You hadn’t realised how much your body yearned for his, how much you had missed his tender touch, his warm embrace, the sound of him in your ear as he came. The night was a loving, sweaty, close odyssey.
When you awoke, it was to the rays of light beaming in and the feeling of Lokis chest pressed to your back as you slumbered in a naked nirvana. You stayed like that for a while, pressed together as the daunting knowledge of this being the last morning of you both like this dawned upon you. You enjoyed it nonetheless regardless of whether this feeling was fleeting.
“Goodmorning.” Loki smiled, pressing a kiss to the nape of your neck.
“Morning.” You answered, spinning in his grip to kiss him properly.
Eventually you both moved your affections to the washroom, fucking against the wall before relaxing in a pool of warmth. You sat between Loki’s legs as he pulled your back against him, both of you melting into the water.
“I don’t want this day to end.” You murmured as if your quietness made reality less real.
“I know my inamorata” Loki replied, kissing your shoulder, the familiar moniker sending a shiver down your spine “but I must face the consequences of my own actions.” He finished causing you to sigh.
“Regality suits me but I’m just lonely, Loki. I govern all nine realms, billions of beings and yet I’m so lonely, a throne changes nothing.” You laughed mirthlessly.
“As long as I live, you’ll never be alone, I’ll always be here.” Loki insisted, kissing your neck.
Once you were out of the bath and dressed, the guards began preparing for Loki’s return but you had other ideas. You couldn’t face life alone again. You couldn’t leave without Loki. Despite him previously abandoning you, you couldn’t do the same to him, not now. When Thor knocked your door, knowing Loki was with you, you began executing your plan.
“I require an audience with Odin.” You began, Loki’s brows knitting in confusion.
“Okay.” Thor answered unsure.
“And I require Loki’s presence too.”
“Y/n.” Loki called.
“Get it done Thor.”
As planned, Thor had arranged a meeting with Odin just before it was time for Loki to return. On the journey to the throne room, you briefed Loki on the plan. He agreed, still wanting to do his time. When you approached, you sauntered in confidently.
“Loki is leaving with me.” You declared.
“That’s absurd!” Odin scoffed.
“Make no mistake, he will not be a free man, he will serve his time but in my home realm.” You delved.
“I forbid it.” Odin spat.
“You cannot have a prince locked up in the dungeons of his home realm, that’s what’s absurd.”
Odin remained silent for a few moments seemingly thinking.
“I’d be happy to have your guards watch him but he will be on my soil, think of it as me taking him off of your hands.”
“Fine” Odin relented “but when the time comes, I’ll require a favour from you.”
“Simply call for me.” You agreed and just like that, Loki was coming home with you. Reunited, at last.
“Fine” Odin gave up “but when the time comes, I’ll require a favour from you.”
“Simply call for me.” You agreed and just like that, Loki was coming home with you. Reunited, at last.
“Simply call for me.” You agreed and just like that, Loki was coming home with you. The two of you reunited, at last.
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queenshelby · 5 months
Text
Forbidden Desire (Part 19)
Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Reader (Female/Incestuous)
Warnings: Incest, Smut
Please comment and engage xx 😘
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For a fleeting moment, Tommy appeared defeated, having never expected such revelations tonight. However, regaining control swiftly, he leaned against the wall menacingly.
"Why didn't you fucking tell me sooner, eh?" Tommy roared furiously struggling to contain his anger. Sweat trickled down his forehead, making him shiver involuntarily as his mind raced through various scenarios regarding his future interaction with you and his son. 
"Because you abandoned me, Thomas! You said that you won't, but you did!" you shouted, exasperated and you could see Tommy visibly cringe upon hearing these harsh words, pain etched deeply across his features.
Inhaling sharply, Tommy turned abruptly, walking towards the window without saying anything further.
"No one can know that I am the father of your child, Y/N," he stated matter-of-factly after a brief silence, indicating his demand rather than asking for consent. "Do you understand?" he then ought to ask and you nodded. 
"I understand and I had no intention to involve you in his life until now that Polly told me about your plans for Boston," you said vehemently, standing your ground firmly. "Fucking opium, Tommy! I do not want to have any part in this business," you insisted, displaying your commitment to distancing yourself from this kind of life. 
"Do you seriously think that I would have put you in danger Y/N?" Tommy murmured softly, a pleading note laced in his question, searching your eyes earnestly before explaining the situation to you.
"Michael is taking on the opium business independently and I made sure that you are not going to be involved in these activities," Tommy explained before telling you "I still love you Y/N. I always will. And I will never put you into harm's way, I promise," Tommy declared solemnly, his tone heavy with conviction. "As much as you might hate me right now, I will always try to protect you," he told you and you looked at him, finally able to read genuine concern in his eyes - a stark contrast to the cold disregard you often witnessed.
For a split second, you considered letting go of your grudges and opening your heart once again to the man you used to love so passionately. But then, reality set in, reminding you why you chose this path and all the reasons why reconciling with Tommy wouldn't work.
Despite his claims, your trust remained broken, his promises unfulfilled. Even though you found solace in seeing him vulnerable and humanized, your resolve only strengthened as your pride refused to let you surrender to the emotional turmoil.
"I am glad, because my son means everything to me now and I need to be around for him so that he has a better life than me growing up," you replied coolly, turning away from him just as Tommy's maid, Frances, barged through the door.
"Mr Shelby, there has been an incident at the Midland Hotel," she informed urgently, her eyes wide with worry, causing your heart to skip a beat.
"There seems to be a fire," continued Frances cautiously, fear evident in her voice and, almost instantly, anxiety coursed through you as this was where your son was staying with your maid. 
"Oh my god. I need to go there, right now Tommy," you exclaimed, panicking as images of your baby flashed vividly in front of your eyes. Before Tommy could say anything, you hurried past him towards the door. 
"Wait, Y/N!" Tommy yelled but you ignored him, running frantically toward the exit. As you bolted through the house, you could hear Tommy calling your name repeatedly, ordering his staff to follow you and ensure your safety.
Tommy ran after you, following you to one of his Bentleys and helping you get inside. As he jumped into the driver seat himself, he glanced briefly at your flushed complexion and reassured you that everything would be fine.
"You don't fucking know that, Tommy. My son is there, with my maid, at the hotel. What if something happens to him?" you screamed, filled with dread and panic.
"You need to calm down Love. Panicking is not going to help you. Now focus, did anyone follow you from the docks when you arrived?" Tommy asked as, without hesitating, he pulled the vehicle onto a side street, speeding rapidly towards the hotel.
"No, no one has followed us," you replied uneasily while tightening your hold on the edge of the leather seats, anxiousness consuming you whole.
Tears brimmed silently in your eyes, ready to overflow at any moment. Gripping your hand, Tommy reached over and intertwined our fingers together in a desperate attempt to alleviate some of your stress.
All throughout the journey, his focus shifted between driving and checking on you, ensuring your comfort amidst the chaos unfolding outside.
Once arrived at the burning building, Tommy parked the car quickly and leapt out, heading towards the entrance. In the background, sirens grew steadily louder as more emergency vehicles approached.
"You cannot go in there Mr Shelby," a young policeman tried stopping Tommy, brandishing a stop sign in one hand. Despite his authority, Tommy forcefully pushed passed him, determined to find his son, dismissively ignoring the officer's protests.
You felt weak and helpless, your palms sweaty as you struggled to remain composed, clutching onto Tommy's arm for support.
As Tommy navigated through the crowd of concerned faces, pushing aside those who got in his way, a sense of relief washed over you as you saw your son being safely evacuated from the hotel along with your maid.
Your breath hitched audibly, the tension melting away like ice under sunlight.
Their clothes were singed and black smoke covered their skin, visible evidence of the horror they'd endured mere moments ago. Your instinct was to run to them immediately, but Tommy halted your movement, gently holding you back as, in the distance, he saw two men who appeared to be a thread. 
"Wait," he commanded sternly, holding you back as he watched the men closely before, with his other hand, unholstering his gun.
"Tommy, what's going on?" you demanded, steeling yourself as you squinted through the dense cloud of greyish smoke enveloping the area.
"The fire wasn't an accident..." Tommy muttered, observing the suspicious duo warily as they casually walked away from the chaotic scene. "And I think that you are the target," he then went on to say while keeping his cool.
"Me?" you asked, shocked. "But you said that I won't be in any danger with this new business deal taking place," you retorted accusingly, unable to conceal your alarm.
"It's not because of the new business venture. It's because of something Arthur got himself involved in while serving time earlier this year," Tommy explained, causing your chin to drop.
"My father went to jail? How did I not know about this?" you asked worryingly but Tommy simply told you not to worry too much about it before hushing you back into his vehicle discreetly.
"I need you to wait here for me while I clean up this mess. Promise me that you won't leave the car," Tommy ordered authoritatively, wanting to make certain that you would indeed wait for him instead of getting involved directly in potentially dangerous situations.
His commanding presence and intensity left little room for argumentation; you reluctantly agreed, feeling a mix of uncertainty and apprehension rising within you.
"Yes...but..." you began, causing Tommy to become impatient.
"Just fucking promise me Y/N! I will make sure your son...our son...is safe," Tommy finished off emphatically, locking gaze with yours to make sure you understood how serious the issue was.
Unnerved, you nodded fervently, promising to adhere to his directive.
Feeling guilty for placing you in such precarious circumstances, Tommy took another glance at you before giving you a gentle yet firm squeeze of your shoulder in reassurance. Then, turning away from you, he marched swiftly towards the hotel, disappearing into the thick clouds of grey smoke obscuring the entrance.
You watched intently, your entire frame quivering slightly in apprehension. After several tense minutes of waiting, Tommy reappeared beside your car window again, dusting the ash off his jacket which was also covered in blood. 
His intense demeanor didn't seem to waver, even in light of the terrifying events transpiring before your very eyes. 
"Where is my son?" you queried impatiently, your hands shaking nervously as you waited for an answer.   
"Moss is driving him and the maid to Arrow House as we speak. He is safe, but you and your family will need to stay with me until things settle down," Tommy responded grimly, attempting to console you as best he could in spite of the dire situation.
A wave of relief surged through you, temporarily calming your nerves. However, lingering concerns regarding your own safety persisted, forcing you to pose additional questions.
"What about the men? Will they not follow them?" you wondered aloud, wondering whether Arrow House was safe. 
"Not unless they rise form the dead," Tommy said before taking a seat in the driver's seat again. His tone was stoic and unfazed, leaving no doubt about his determination to put an end to these enemies and restore peace. 
"I made sure that message gets through to the man who sent them for you, and I will have my men guard the house to ensure your safety as well," he thus told you and, after that, an eerie silence descended upon you as Tommy drove off.
Unconsciously, you slipped your trembling hand into Tommy's, seeking warmth and security - a gesture that spoke volumes about your bond and affection for each other.
The atmosphere was sombre, tense – reminding you of the gravity of the situation and the danger this life brought with it and you knew that, for the sake of your son, things had to change.
For the first time since you met the Shelbys, you found yourself questioning whether you should continue down this path or try finding solace elsewhere. A life far away from any illegal activities perhaps but, this line of thought was interrupted by your arrival at Arrow House, which is where Moss greeted you out the front. 
Seeing your son's face caused tears well up in your eyes once more. Holding your arms open, you immediately took your baby into your arms, showering him with kisses and apologizing profusely for putting him in harm's way.
He was only six months old and still so innocent, but already experiencing terror like this, which pained you deeply as the responsibility you bore increased tenfold. The desire to provide a safer future for him intensified exponentially. All these emotions mixed together within you, creating an almost tangible weight within your heart.
"May I hold him?" Tommy asked cautiously, peeking around you at your precious boy while Moss took your maid inside. With tearful eyes, you looked over at him, nodded, and slowly handed over your cherished treasure to him.
Inhaling sharply, Tommy held the tiny infant against his chest, tenderly rocking him back and forth as if trying to absorb every last bit of fear and turmoil from the day's events. 
"What did you name him?" Tommy softly whispered, looking into the deep blue eyes of his son, whose eyebrows seemed perpetually furrowed in concentration. 
"I named him Edward," you informed him and Tommy smiled, feeling both love and admiration swell inside him as he cradled the small child in his strong arms. His gaze turned toward you, a mixture of gratitude and sorrow etched across his features. It was evident that the day's dramatic turn of events had taken its toll on him, too.
"He is perfect, isn't he?" Tommy remarked, gazing down at his son who was still nestled snugly in his arms. There was a quiet earnestness to his voice, and you couldn't help but feel moved by his sincerity. "Look at how peaceful he looks, in spite of all that happened tonight, eh" he went on to say and you couldn't agree more.
As you witnessed the tenderness with which Tommy handled the child, it became increasingly clear just how important family meant to him.
"He must be hungry. I should go inside and feed him," you offered hesitantly, making an effort to return to normalcy amidst the looming threats and escalating violence.
Without saying anything, Tommy gave you a subtle nod of approval, indicating that it was time for some respite and comfort. As you headed indoors, however, you noticed Tommy remaining outside, speaking to one of his associates. Curiosity piqued, you continued walking further into the house without interruption, passing through the grand entrance hall towards the dining room, still filled with guests.
Robert immediately acknowledged your presence, asking you what happened while Lizzie gave you a stern look and raised an eyebrow quizzically.
She knew that the child you held in your arms was Tommy's son but did not say anything, choosing to remain silent for now. Her jealousy simmered beneath the surface, and it wasn't until your father, Arthur, questioned whose child this was, that Lizzie spoke up. 
"That's your grandchild, I believe," she announced defiantly, drawing attention to everyone present. 
"My grandchild, eh? Who is the fucking father then?" Arthur demanded loudly, a hint of anger in his voice as he glared at you in disapproval.
"Just a man I met in Boston, who is not around anymore," you lied, not wanting to admit that Edward's father was no other than your very own uncle. 
Arthur scoffed at your explanation, muttering under his breath that there were never really any good men in the world anymore who were willing to take responsibility for their actions.
Meanwhile, you felt your cheeks redden as guilt crept into your conscience, knowing full well that you hadn't been entirely truthful. But you reasoned with yourself, telling yourself that lying about who the father was, served the greater good.
"Well then congratulations, Love. Welcome to fucking motherhood," Lizzie commented bitterly, unable to hide her disdain. 
Despite her animosity, you ignored her, focusing on the task at hand: ensuring your son's needs were met, especially during such tumultuous times.
"Thank you, Lizzie," you thus simply told her before she abandoned you to seek out her husband to be, who she knew had disappeared hours earlier, with you by your side.
When Lizzie finally found Tommy outside, she confronted him about bringing you and your son to his house for the engagement party. 
"Why would you bring her here, Tommy? And why bring her brat along as well?" she demanded, causing Tommy to become angry. "The child is yours, isn't it? You fathered a child with your own fucking niece!" Lizzie spat just as Tommy pulled her aside and told her to keep her voice down.
Frustrated by her accusatory tone, Tommy replied angrily, "I brought her here because she is fucking family, and so is her son. They need protection. But I didn't invite her to our fucking wedding, Lizzie! Polly did!" 
Lizzie rolled her eyes, clearly unconvinced. "Is he yours?" she asked and Tommy clenched his jaw, struggling to control his temper.
"No, he is not," he lied calmly and, again Lizzie rolled her eyes, knowing full well that he was lying. 
"I want this whore and her bastard child out of this house as soon as possible. Do you understand?" Lizzie retorted sharply, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. 
"She is my fucking niece, Lizzie! She will be staying until it is safe for her to return to Boston. Now go inside and attend to the fucking guests. I have things to do, eh" Tommy dismissed Lizzie abruptly, not bothering to conceal his annoyance. He needed to make arrangements for better security and handle various business matters related to recent developments.
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natsgrave · 5 months
Text
TOLERATE IT | elizabeth olsen
While you were out building other worlds, where was I? You assume I'm fine, but what would you do if I break free and leave us in ruins? ( story inspired by @taylorswift song bcs i love her sm ) i'm not sure if someone else already wrote something like this or what, but if you see a story quite similar to this, let me know so i could give them a proper credit. thankyou!! ( colored wording would be the lyrics ) i do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other sites. plagiarism is a crime!! masterlist
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Y/N'S POV Lizzie and I had been together for five years. We met in college, fell deeply in love, and spent countless nights talking about our dreams and aspirations. We were each other's rock, supporting each other through thick and thin.
But how can a perfect relationship turn into a toxic one where we barely talk anymore?
I sit and watch you reading with your head low
I don't know what happened. I don't know how to fix it, it that I didn't even know exist. One second we were fine then the next, we're like strangers.
All I could do is sit here and watch her read the script for her new movie. Reading with her head low and sitting far away from me, almost as if I have a disease. As if there's an invisible wall between us.
We would always sit in silence, her pretending to watch TV or read books, but the tension between us was palpable. I know she could feel my eyes on her, but she never spared me a glance. It was as if she was avoiding me intentionally.
Minutes ticked by, and I decided to make her food. After making anchovy, I gently touch her on the shoulder. She jumped, startled, and looked up to find me standing next to her, holding out a plate.
"I made you your favorite," I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper. "Anchovy toast."
Lizzie took the plate from my hand, "Thank you." she replied before looking back at the script once again.
I simply nodded and sat down where I originally sitting, and focused on my own hands folded in my lap with a sigh.
I wake and watch you breathing with your eyes close. I sit and watch you, I notice everything you do or don't do, you're so much older and wiser
I woke up around five in the morning, the sun hadn't completely risen yet, but the little lighting shone through the curtains, casting a soft glow across the room. My gaze fell upon my girlfriend, who lay beside me sleeping lightly. The rise and fall of her chest matched the rhythm of her breathing, a calming sight that used to bring me comfort.
As I lay in bed, I couldn't help but watch my partner, Lizzie, sleeping peacefully beside me. I stayed there, watching her for a moment and appreciate the sight before me. But despite the serenity of the scene, I still felt a pang of sadness in my heart.
Lizzie had always been a restless sleeper, constantly shifting positions throughout the night and sometimes even talking in her sleep. But tonight, she was lying completely still, her face calm and relaxed. If someone saw it, they would instantly let it go and think that she's in a deep slumber but I'm not just someone.
I know the truth.
She was pretending to be asleep and it felt like she didn't want to wake up beside me, like she is simply tolerating my presence.
I wait by the door like I'm just a kid, use my best colors for your portrait
They were small things I did for her, but meaningful nonetheless. Always wait by the door every day to greet her, to offer and show her some love and comfort after a hard day at work. I would always stand there, gazing out into the evening sky, hoping to catch a glimpse of my lover making her way home from work. It didn't matter what time it was, or how tired I am after a long day, I always made sure to be there, waiting for Lizzie.
I even took painting classes as it seemed to ease my mind. I poured all of my emotions into my painting, using every color in the palette to capture the beauty of Lizzie's face. I spent hours each day working on the portrait, trying to convey the depth of my feelings for her and I'd use my best colors for her portraits.
Lay the table with the fancy shit, and watch you tolerate it
I had always been a perfectionist when it comes to cooking and entertaining. I would always spent hours in the kitchen, preparing elaborate meals and setting beautiful tables for my lover. I would carefully select the finest ingredients, meticulously prepare each dish, and arrange the table with exquisite linens, flowers, and candles.
I'd make her favorite dishes, lay the table with best cutlery and yet again, no matter how hard I tried, she never seemed to appreciate my efforts. All Lizzie gave back were strained smiles, small and almost whispered hums, and nods in acknowledgment of my attempts, and a whisper of "thanks," as she shoveled the food into her mouth, barely taking the time to taste or savor any of it.
she seemed to simply… tolerate it.
If it's all in my head tell me now, tell me I've got it wrong somehow
Despite my best efforts to communicate openly and honestly with Lizzie, I felt like she wasn't really listening to me, and it made me feel invisible. I began to wonder if I was overthinking everything, if maybe I was the one who was misinterpreting our interactions. Maybe I was being too sensitive, too needy.
Maybe I was the one who was crazy, paranoid.
I felt so alone, so lost, and so unsure of what to do.
I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it
I began to feel like I was living in a dream world where everything I created was invisible to everyone else. It was as if I was speaking a language that nobody understood, except for my own echoes in mind.
"Liz," I said with a trembling voice, "I've been giving everything I have to make you happy, but it feels like you don't see or appreciate it anymore. I feel taken for granted."
My choice of words caught her off guard, she paused for a moment before responding. "Y/N, I never asked you to do all these things for me. I don't need grand gestures to feel loved, I thought you knew that."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was this really what our relationship had become? A constant stream of argument and neglect?
Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized the disconnect between our expectations. I had been trying so hard to show her love in a way that I thought she would appreciate, but it had only pushed us further apart.
And it happen, I finally snapped.
I felt a surge of anger and frustration well up inside of me.
Why was I putting so much effort into something that seemed to bring her no joy? Why did I care so deeply about pleasing someone who didn't seem to care about me at all?
I knew, I couldn't keep living this way, constantly pouring my heart and soul into something that brought me nothing but pain and disappointment. I realized that no matter how much I gave, Lizzie would never truly reciprocate and still, I constantly yearn for someone who clearly did not want me.
With a heavy heart, I packed my bags. Our relationship had become toxic, with me constantly sacrificing myself for someone who didn't appreciate me. I knew it was time to leave, before I lost any more pieces of myself.
Before leaving, I took a one last look, the last thing I want to remember was the way Elizabeth used to laugh at my jokes, enjoy our food, take me out on dates. The last thing I want to remember was how she used to love my presence, and not just tolerate it.
Maybe one day someone would be enough to have their love celebrated by her.
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edges-of-night · 9 months
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Hello I noticed you were taking requests and I had a little bit of an angsty request if you're willing.
Could you perhaps do how the lotr characters react to their reader SO opening up about having a bad childhood.
Please don't do if it makes you uncomfy.
Have a nice day,
led
I’m sorry you had to wait so long for your request – I hope you enjoy the post!
I would also like to thank you for requesting this topic so politely. It admittedly wasn’t easy to write for me, but I really appreciated your understanding tone! Have a nice day as well!
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・゚✧ Aragorn.
Aragorn shows great understanding for what you have told him. He would quietly thank you for trusting him with such knowledge and instantly offer to care and comfort you, should you need it, like holding your hand as he presses a tender kiss to your head. It is needless to say he would treat anything you told him very discreetly and respectfully.
・゚✧ Arwen.
Arwen would feel with you. No matter where you opened up to her, she would instantly offer to go take a walk with her. “I may not be able change what happened to you,” she’d whisper as she took your hand. “But I can make sure that such things will never happen to you again.” Though her voice may seem sombre, she always has a comforting smile or hug for you!
・゚✧ Boromir.
Boromir would have great empathy for you, remembering his own difficult childhood – especially in consideration of his brother. Although he isn’t too talkative when it comes to this subject, he is in tune with his own emotions. It helps you come to terms with your own past. You two bond over what has been and take refuge in the knowledge that you now have each other and are faraway from the past.
・゚✧ Elrond.
Elrond would quietly listen to what you told him and offer you comfort with a stern expression. But inside, he is quite upset – as a father himself, you would not be able to bear what you had told him. He would treat you even kinder afterwards, looking out for you and trying to avoid any triggers that could remind you of your childhood hardship.
・゚✧ Éomer.
After listening to your story, Éomer would tell you how much strength it takes to open up about such things. He is deeply impressed with how you handle your past – even if you thought you did a poor job at it. He will have none of that self-loathing in his company! “I do not want to hear you speak so ill of yourself again. You were but a child. Look how strong you became despite what happened! I am endlessly proud of you.”
・゚✧ Éowyn.
What you tell Éowyn is something she carries around with her for a long time, even if she doesn’t show it. She cannot understand how someone who went through such hardship can still come out such a kind and noble person. She now tries to bring more joy into your life and shield you from possible harm. She won’t bring up the topic anew, unless you ask her to talk again, of course.
・゚✧ Faramir.
With Faramir, you could very easily bond over difficult childhoods. You simply understand each other, more than other people could. With him, you could even talk regularly about what had happened to you. Faramir helps you put everything into perspective, or offers you words of advise and comfort. You can do the same for him and always feel relieved afterwards, when you cuddle in silence, content with your quasi-therapeutic conversation.
・゚✧ Frodo.
Where Frodo comes from, people do not talk about childhood problems or trauma. So you opening up to him comes as quite the surprise. That said, he does understand – not everything. But he doesn’t have to. You are content to just have someone say, “I’m really sorry that happened to you.” Frodo offers you help whenever he can and is careful and considerate to keep possible triggers away from you. “We’ll manage this together. Right?” he’d say with a soft smile, stroking a gentle thumb over your hand.
・゚✧ Galadriel.
Galadriel is a very empathetic Elf, so she feels alongside with you. If you cried during your conversation, it is likely she would shed a tear as well. That said, she would of course have wise words of advice and healing for you. “You have my sympathy for what happened to you. Just know that your past does not define you. Each of us makes their own destiny.”
・゚✧ Gandalf.
Gandalf may not have had a childhood himself, but he has seen enough to know that such a thing isn’t easy to live with. Though he may not answer you immediately – maybe he wonders what to say after all? – you can feel that you have his empathy. And somehow, you really do believe that things will be fine when the one saying that platitude is Gandalf the Grey.
・゚✧ Gimli.
Gimli is a surprisingly good listener, you learn as you open up to him. He is silent and probably saddened by what he heard, but afterwards, he would definitely tell you how proud he is of you for not only surviving your past but putting it into words now, years later. He’d also give you a soft smile and promise you that things will get brighter.
・゚✧ Haldir.
Haldir is probably the last person you wanted to tell about your bad childhood – but it happened anyway. You simply couldn’t bear his snarky and jealous comments about your ‘perfect upbringing’ anymore. Needless to say, he would fall entirely silent after your retelling. He would now see you in a new light and respect you even more for having survived all that you told him about. Somewhere along the line, he’d even offer you a hug!
・゚✧ Legolas.
You and Legolas would bond over your parents and hardship as children and young adults. As an Elf, Legolas is not very much in touch with negative memories and emotions, as they are literally unhealthy for him. Together, you work through what you experienced. Even though your conversations leave him pensive, he would always thank you the next day for the knowledge you shared.
・゚✧ Merry.
Merry would be an exceptionally good listener. He may be childish from time to time, but he recognises the sincerity of your conversation early on. He also has unexpectedly wise words for you and encourages you to speak less derogatory about yourself. “You were just a child. And these things weren’t supposed to happen to you. To no one, really. Come on. Be kind to yourself.” He’d also take your hand sit in silence with you for as long as you need!
・゚✧ Pippin.
Pippin would need a few moments to understand what you said. His childhood has been great, he has no bad feelings or memories for it. That does not mean that he would be ignorant to your feelings though. Sharing your story with him not only helps you process what has happened to you, but also teaches him to seek out new perspective. In the end, Pippin would offer you a big pot of ice cream as comfort ♡
・゚✧ Sam.
After hearing your story, Sam would sit in silence for a few moments, thinking about what he heard. Then he would try and comfort you with an allegory or comparison that reflected your childhood – he is a poet at heart after all. Though he struggles to find the right words, his care and sincerity soothe you. Somehow you know that, no matter how dark your days may get, there is always sunshine in your life when you’re with Samwise Gamgee.
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doppel-doodles · 3 months
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Hi, i really like your art and you writing, you are really good, so I wanted to know if you could Make some headcanons about Macaque ,Wukong ,Azure AND Shadowpeach with a Male or GN reader that Is súper soft with them and supports them when they are down, I was thinking about Wukong AND Macaque without The glamour things and insecure about their real apearence, and Azure with some scars after The Jade emperor Situation, Those boys need some love AND im sorry if I am overloading you with this request, Thanks
Heya! Firstly thanks a bunch for requesting and for the compliments! It's really sweet:> I was a bit confused in the request if you meant shadowpeach and the boys separately or just shadowpeach so I did the former just to be safe! Hope you enjoy!
Azure, Wukong and Macaque with a supportive reader
Azure lion
If we're going with Azure somehow surviving what happened to him in season 4 then I imagine he would probably gain large scars all over his body from the jade emperor's powers being too much for him to the point it was literally tearing him apart.
One goes over his eye and he has most likely lost some vision with that one, another cuts into his mane creating a slight bald spot. And the rest are scattered all across from his arms to his legs.
I don't think he would cover them up with glamour though, he would most likely keep them out as a reminder of what he did, a warning even.
Finally realizing that he wasn't the good guy and everything he did was in fact not good comes with a lot of emotions: guilt,shame even remorse.
But that's where you come in!
You don't know what Azure did or even who he was before you two met. With you he could have a fresh start, something he may have desperately needed after everything.
You would never try and pry about what happened to him to be so banged up either.
Not even when he wakes up in the middle of the night after a horrible nightmare, dreaming about how that day he was defeated could have turned out...
You just hold him,sooth him, tell him he's safe and that whatever he saw wasn't real.
And you'll continue to do so until he passes out in your arms, becoming a snoring mess once again.
You'll never know just how grateful he is to you for this, his appreciation just grows deeper every time.
He has debated over telling you who he used to be and what he had done, to be honest something inside him is deeply afraid that you'll hate him if he tells you even with you showing him nothing but care and support, and if you would he wouldn't fault you for it, not one bit.
He will tell you the story behind his scars one day, he just needs a little more time.
Sun Wukong
Okay, for Wukong I actually feel like it'll take him EXTREMELY long to drop the glamour around you. He really needs to be insanely comfortable with your presence and that alone takes time.
Him and being open with people just don't seem to mesh you feel me?
It also just stings his ego a bit. He is supposed to be the monkey king, the great sage equal to heaven for him you don't imagine that kind of guy getting hurt like ever right?
But if you are patient with him you'll eventually have him coming home, dropping his glamour and happily falling into your arms for a well deserved cuddle after a long day.
And once he showed them to you there really is no going back for him, the feeling of you kissing over his scarred skin? The way it fills him with that warm fuzziness? He wouldn't trade it for all the peaches in the world.
I imagine the circlet that was used on him actually left a scar that goes all around his head, so be sure to place lots of kisses on his forehead yes?
I've also played around with the idea that when the lady bone demon possessed Wukong it actually left a scar on his back were her power entered.
The skin ther is not just cool to the touch, it is ice cold.
This one is especially hard to look at for him but he can always feel it, no matter how many layers he wears that spot will always feel cool,dead even.
And death is something he does not like.
So when you hug him from behind or give him back rubs, your body heat breathing life back into his skin for a brief period of time it almost makes him regret hiding this from you for so long!
Macaque
Surprisingly with Macaque it's EVEN WORSE he has a major case of trust issues so don't think he'll dump to you even though he definitely should let it out-
Like you actually have the patience of a saint if you can put up with him for that long in his eyes, which is great! He loves that about you!
With your encouragement he'll actually become willing to show his eye scar in public...kinda.
What I mean is when he is in human form performing at his shadow theater it would be there but covered by his hood so nobody would actually be able to see it.
Listen we are taking baby steps here-
And you couldn't be prouder of these tiny steps! And you let him know that, oh how you let him know that.
He is low key kinda startled by it at first, in his mind you should probably feel a bit cheated by him doing it this way but you just aren't. It makes his heart flutter more than he likes to admit.
He also appreciates the little things you do for him when you learn of his six ears and exceptional hearing.
Without even noticing you'll talk in a quieter voice or just watch your tone in general or you just carry a pair of noise cancelling headphones around for him incase you two find yourself in an unbearably loud environment and for whatever reason can't leave.
He ADORES your thoughtfulness for him to be honest.
It's been a while since he experienced anything like it.
Shadowpeach
Here is a shocker I don't think it'll take them even half as long to drop the glamour in this situation.
Because those two have a history, they know mostly what the other truly looks like already so there isn't as much pressure to hide it from the other since they already know.
And it would kinda make them feel bad to leave you out of the loop at that point, you're part of this relationship too after all so if they can show their scars to each other then they should show them to you as well right?
Although seeing Macaques eye stirs up a mix of feelings in Wukong every time.
He caused it after all.
Also I like the idea of Macaque planning out this whole grandiose reveal to you, like the extra Theater kid he is he actually has a whole script written out and memorised down to the very last line, yes he tried forcing Wukong to do the same, no he did not do the same.
Then the day before Wukong strolls in with no glamour like "HERE I AM!" Like the jerk he is-
Macaque proceeded to have a friendly round of rough housing with him for that:D
Besides that I imagine it being like it was in their own headcanons just with these two occasionally fighting for your attention
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