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snowe-zolynn-rogers · 3 years

Text

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1,835 Words

Summary: Off to a chaotic start, I see. Bakugou gets dared to start a 1-A group chat. The beginnings, Shinsou gains a father figure, and the bakusquad is chaotic.

Warnings: Dead Body Mention, Death Mention, Cursing, Anxiety Attack Mention, Caps, Mental Breakdown Mention, Fire Mention, Choking Mention, Injury Mention, Murder Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Notes: Shigaraki's alias in the group chat is Ren and Dabi's alias is Haruhi. ¥11,055 is about $100 and ¥110,550 is about $1,000 on the day I wrote this.

Usernames: Area 51 Ashido: aggressive chicken dance, Kaminari: pikachoo, Kirishima: ordained, Jirou: neko neko kneecaps, Sero: wine and cheerios, Bakugou: mother i crave violence, Shinsou: its a mental breakdown

Usernames: Emo Sanctuary Jirou: tell tale heart, Tokoyami: eldritch peep, Todoroki: i love you 3000, Bakugou: knife tag, Midoriya: bitchasaurus, Shinsou: unhappy meal, Kuroiro: meth and deadamine, Shigaraki: depresso extra shot, Dabi: *sad kazoo*

Into The Group Chat We Go: Chapter 1

1:45 AM

Emo Sanctuary

i love you 3000: I require attention.

unhappy meal: is that so?

i love you 3000: Yes, it is, otherwise I wouldn't have said it.

unhappy meal: @bitchasaurus, your man is sad.

bitchasaurus: He's not my man, Shinsou. Pretty sure he's no one's man, actually. And it's not like I'd have time for a relationship anyway.

i love you 3000: True. I'm not in a relationship.

unhappy meal: regardless, get your friend. the man wants attention.

bitchasaurus and i love you 3000 are now offline

*sad kazoo*: I dare someone to start a group chat with 1a and say something weird.

knife tag: Would I get paid for this?

*sad kazoo*: I'll give you anywhere from 11,05 yen to 110,550 yen.

knife tag: Deal.

2:00 AM

Bakugou has started a group chat

Bakugou has added Hanta, Mina, Eijiro, Denki, and 15 others to the chat

Bakugou has renamed the group chat to Area 51

Bakugou: His body is ready to be taxidermied. It's what Shinsou would've wanted.

Sero: What the fucketh?

Aoyama: Quoi?

Midoriya is now online

Midoriya: You didn't add Shinsou, you ass.

Bakugou: Oops, fuck.

Bakugou has added Shinsou to Area 51

Shinsou: hi I guess.

Aoyama: So your corpse is not being stuffed by Bakugou at the moment?

Shinsou: I mean, he can always taxidermy me while I'm alive. it's not like I'd stop him.

Midoriya: He's not. Kacchan was dared with cash to start this group chat and say something weird. Goodnight, filthy heathens.

Midoriya is now offline

Ojiro: Wow, Midoriya isn't messing around.

Aoyama: I feel ✨insulted✨ being called a filthy heathen.

Ojiro: I mean, it is an insult, Aoyama.

Aoyama: Yes, Ojiro, I understood that.

Sero: Why on earth are you two awake?

Ojiro: Because I can't sleep?

Aoyama: I got hungry.

Sero: Well, go to bed.

2:15 AM

Emo Sanctuary

knife tag: It's done.

knife tag: chatscreenshot.jpg

*sad kazoo* has sent a money transfer to knife tag

*sad kazoo*: Your money's pending to whatever card is attached to your number.

knife tag: moneytransferscreenshot.jpg

eldritch peep: wow, you really sent him 11,055 yen?

knife tag: This man's out here fueling my savings since UA instituted the no job rule since the dorms went into effect.

unhappy meal: they instituted a no job rule!? that's why I got that paper!? I thought that was a joke!

*sad kazoo*: Better put in a two weeks, kid.

unhappy meal: I literally can't. if I don't work, I don't have a way of feeding myself!

*sad kazoo*: Can't you ask your parents to send you food money, Toshi?

unhappy meal: okay, Haruhi, I know you weren't here when we started this chat with just me, Katsuki, Shouto, and Izuku so you don't know but I literally don't have parents, man. I lived in an orphanage until the beginning of the school year and, after I got in, I began renting an apartment near the school so I could attend. which means I'll lose my apartment where my cat and dog stay and it has all my stuff in it too.

tell tale heart: He's having an anxiety attack, someone go get him. I don't know where his room is.

meth and deadamine: I'll check on him.

knife tag: On my way.

eldritch peep: I'm coming, hold on.

*sad kazoo*: I've finally become a father at 28. I knew this shit would happen eventually.

*sad kazoo* has sent a money transfer to unhappy meal

*sad kazoo*: That's your monthly allowance. Do whatever you want, kid.

unhappy meal: I'm gonna cry.

unhappy meal: moneytransferscreenshot.jpg

meth and deadmine: You got 110,550 yen!? Haruhi out here paying kids to exist.

*sad kazoo*: That sounds weird, don't say that. I'm here because I'm Ren's best friend and Ren is Izuku's brother. I've effectively adopted both Katsuki and Hitoshi, I'm not sending random kids money for no reason, they're my sons.

eldritch peep: Ignore him, Kuroiro likes making things sound weird. How does it feel to be a father, Haruhi?

*sad kazoo*: Fatherhood? Guess that means I need to shape up and be a dad, huh?

eldritch peep: Step the fuck up, Haruhi.

*sad kazoo*: I am, I am. Toshi, kid, don't cry or whatever, everything's gonna be fine.

unhappy meal: thanks, dad.

*sad kazoo*: My heart hurts. Why does it hurt? What the fuck is this feeling?

knife tag: It's called pride. It's because you're happy.

*sad kazoo*: This child is mine now, I'm going to find a way to legally adopt you.

unhappy meal: that would actually be really cool if you did.

*sad kazoo*: Looks like I'm re-evaluating my life tonight so I can make it hospitable for a son. I'm gonna go see if I can figure out how to fix some shit. Night, kids.

knife tag: hitoshicryingabouthavingadadnow.vid

Transcript Begin

"Hito, it's okay." -eldritch peep

"I have a dad now, Fumi." -unhappy meal

"We know, Shinsou." -meth and deadamine

"I have a dad." -unhappy meal

"Time to sleep, Toshi." -knife tag

"Okay. Time to sleep." -unhappy meal

Transcript End

*sad kazoo*: I love my son. Take care of him.

8:25 AM

Area 51

Ashido: ALERT- MY ALARMS DIDN'T GO OFF, PLEASE STALL AIZAWA FOR ABOUT TEN MINUTES

this message has been marked as an emergency

Shinsou: On it.

8:40 AM

Area 51

Ashido: What'd you do to distract him, Shinsou?

Shinsou: Oh, gave myself an anxiety attack.

Ashido: SHINSOU!

Shinsou: It was an emergency! You'd be in detention right now if I hadn't. plus I had one last night too so it wasn't hard to do.

Ashido: Shinsou, don't ever do that for me again but thank you. You're getting big bakusquad hugs at lunch.

Shinsou: It's not like it was difficult. I got lots to break down about.

Ashido: Me too, bitch.

4:00 PM

Area 51

Shinsou has changed their name to its a mental breakdown

Ashido: Oh my god, Shinsou.

its a mental breakdown: I figured while I'm at it.

Ashido: Speaking of at it.

Ashido has changed Kaminari's name to pikachoo

Ashido has changed Jirou's name to neko neko kneecaps

Ashido has changed Sero's name to wine and cheerios

Ashido has changed Bakugou's name to mother i crave violence

Ashido has changed their name to aggressive chicken dance

Kirishima: Could you not think of one for me?

aggressive chicken dance: More like can't decide.

Kirishima has changed their name to ordained

pikachoo: You're ordained, Kiri?

ordained: Yeah. I got ordained for my moms' wedding in a few months.

pikachoo: So cool, dude.

ordained: Oh, Shinsou, dude, you said you had an anxiety attack last night, you good, man?

its a mental breakdown: one sec.

4:05 PM

Emo Sanctuary

unhappy meal: can I talk about it, Zuku?

bitchasaurus: Yeah, why not? Because it involves Ren? It's not a big deal, Hitoshi!

unhappy meal: just making sure, some people don't like their personal lives talked about by other people.

bitchasaurus: I don't mind, Hitoshi.

4:09 PM

Area 51

its a mental breakdown: alright. so we had a chat from right after the sports festival with just me, Midoriya, Bakugou, and Todoroki which became an emo chatroom when we added Tokoyami, Jirou, and Kuroiro.

its a mental breakdown: And then Midoriya got in contact with his older brother, Ren and added him and Ren's best friend Haruhi to the chat because he wanted to show off Ren but Ren didn't feel comfortable talking without Haruhi lurking in the chat.

its a mental breakdown: you guys probably don't know but I was an orphan from a really really young age because my parents died when I was young and my other family members didn't want me. and at the beginning of this year, when I got into UA, I moved out of the orphanage, got an apartment close to campus and all, I'd had a job for two years prior.

its a mental breakdown: and last night, Haruhi gave Bakugou 11,055 yen as a dare to start this chat. then Bakugou and Haruhi were talking about the no-job rule because of the dorms and I'd thought it was a joke when I got the paper so I didn't have anything saved up and I don't exactly have parents I can ask for money if I need to buy food and I'm definitely not asking my friends and bothering them.

its a mental breakdown: I mean, I have enough I could coast for a month or two without pay but I feel like Aizawa would kill me for not eating right.

its a mental breakdown: anyway, I had my anxiety attack, Haruhi sent me money, Kuroiro made a sentence creepy like always, and Haruhi called me and Bakugou his sons. him, Jirou and Tokoyami joked about him being a dad for a bit and then he actually told me when I went back online that he wanted to legally adopt me.

mother i crave violence: Thus why I didn't wake up Pinky this morning. I was busy in the Gen Ed dorms with my new brother.

its a mental breakdown: I will have another breakdown, don't tempt me.

ordained: Shinsou, man, that's so awesome! You have a dad! We should have a party for Shinsou getting a dad!

its a mental breakdown: if it makes you guys happy then go for it but if you go crazy with the party again. we already had the incident on my birthday, we're not having another.

Asui: What incident, kero?

its a mental breakdown: Kirishima's hair got set on fire at some point, Sero got tangled onto the railing of my balcony and was hanging from my fifth floor apartment's balcony railing, Mina choked on a piece of burnt tofu, Kaminari slipped in the bathroom and fell into the full bathtub where he then electrocuted himself, Bakugou got his face shoved into the cake and sat in the corner pouting while my cat Ume and dog Anzu tried to eat the cake off his face for the rest of the night, Jirou got lost inside my apartment building, and I hit my head on the counter and had a concussion for a week.

Hagakure: Why is your friend group so chaotic?

mother i crave violence: I like to think I've cultivated a well-functioning group of chaotic demons. At least if one of us is doing something dumb, usually the rest will either follow or do something dumb of their own.

neko neko kneecaps: I'd like to plead innocent as well as shift majority blame to Midoriya's friend group because I just know those idiots could and would collectively kill and hide a body and nobody would ever know it was them.

Midoriya: Bold of you to assume we haven't already.

neko neko kneecaps: Yeah, hi, mom, pick me up, I'm afraid of Midoriya again.

Midoriya: You can run, Jirou, but you can't hide.

neko neko kneecaps: You can't kill me, Bakugou would be sad!

Midoriya: You may live...for now.

neko neko kneecaps: Oh, thank the gods.

Taglist: @lgbtforeverything @rin-tanaka

16 notes · View notes

general-mahamatra · 4 years

Text

Oops

So I am the DM of what was initially a joke and is now a seriously fun AU that is

Newsies in an Infinite IKEA.

I felt like sharing them with y’all, but I’ll go ahead and toss everything under the line to keep this from being much clutter. But first, here are the characters (and their play-by!)

Davey: Cleric -- @musicals-and-zazz Race: Thief (Rogue) -- @alltherays Smalls: Bard -- @albert-eats-cookie-cake Specs: Cleric -- @snakeyboimusical Spot: Barbarian -- @sweeps-of-london

<NPCS>

Jed: Guard ?????: ?? ???????: ??

?????: 65% (Medium) ???????: 32% (Low)

Welcome to the Infinite Ikea. As everyone knows, Ikea is massive and full of insane furniture and items with such weird names that if you tried to pronounce them, you’d summon a demon. But sometimes… sometimes it’s a bit too big. On the outside, it’s not that bad. It’s the size of a normal Ikea but with some exceptions. It is surrounded by a massive chain link fence and there is only one entrance: the main entrance. There are no garages for deliveries or side entrances for emergencies. There is only the massive door in the front of the building. Two men clad in black and holding guns stand on either side of the doors. You are huddled in the bushes outside of the fence. What will you do?

Spot, Smalls, and Specs try to enter IKEA through the front gate.

Spot and Specs insist upon needing to use the bathroom

Race is hella annoyed

Spot gets shot and killed by a guard

Return to the Beginning

Spot, Smalls, and Specs try to enter IKEA through the front gate

Smalls is on Spot’s shoulders it’s kinda cute

Spot asks if IKEA is open

Jed says “No”

They keep pressing that it’s open and Jed keeps saying no

With Jed distracted, Race climbs the fence and manages to sneak around behind the guards

Of course, Race was extra when he climbed the fence and flipped off of it. Style points.

Spot puts down Smalls and tries to go pee in a bush but he just kinda... he doesn’t pee

Race sneaks up behind Guard 2 and elbows him in the back of the head

Guard 2 falls pretty hard and hits his head on the cement, knocking him out

Race tries to do it again to Jed but just ends up tapping him on the back

Jed turns around and stares at Race, asking "How the fuck did you get in here?", trailing off when he sees his unconscious buddy. When he notices, he takes the defensive and swings his gun, hitting Race in the head.

Race took 5 damage

Race tries to lie and say he works at the IKEA

Smalls tries to play their kazoo to distract Jed

The kazoo distracts Jed and he doesn’t notice Spot climbing over the fence

Specs tries to climb the fence as well but gets caught on the chain link. His shirt starts to rip but he pulls himself free and gets over

Spot tries to go after Jed and take him out

Spot barely missed Jed, his attack just swiping by the guard

Smalls keeps trying to distract the guard

Jed is still pretty distracted but is just aware enough to swing at Spot. Only Jed fails miserably and ends up shooting himself in the leg

Race gets back to his feet but is whining like a little bitch in pain. He swings for Jed, as does Spot

Neither land hits and Jed swings for Spot again but his attempt was feeble and he missed by at least two feet

Smalls pulls out their Otamatone to distract Jed even more

It works and Jed gains disadvantage

Specs swings for Jed and lands a hit

Jed took 2 damage

Spot tries to disarm Jed and take his gun

Jed, some how holy mother of God, dodges out of the was of Spot and keeps his gun

it’s really important to me that i just share this with you guys. these were the two rolls for jed with disadvantage in order to keep his gun. (spot rolled an 18)

okay let’s continue

Race tries to swing at Jed with a knife

Race fuckin’ missed like RIP dude

Specs tries to disarm Jed since Spot failed

Specs is successful and the gun goes flying

Race tries to punch Jed in the head but misses like the little bitch he is

Specs also tries to punch Jed in the head but his punch misses so badly and it had so much force behind it that it sent Specs flying with his own momentum

Smalls tries to politely ask to get through to avoid the violence: "can i please go through pretty please with a cherry on top of a banana sundae"

Jed says “No, you cannot”

Spot tries to put Jed in a chokehold and it works

Specs tries to kick Jed in the gut and the hit lands

Jed took 3 damage

Smalls politely asks to get through again: "if you let me through you will be the literal best-"

It works perfectly. "I mean, sure, why not. It's not going to be my fault when you guys die."

The group questions why they would die, Jed simply says "No one comes back out. Go before I change my mind."

Spot grabs the discarded gun (AK - 103) and somehow puts it in his backpack. Magic backpack

The group enters the IKEA

When the group goes inside, they are greeted by a pitch black IKEA. The only light source they have is the doors behind them casting the bright LED light onto the cash registers before them. Everything was completely empty and eerie.

The group tries to find a light switch but do not find one

Smalls lights a piece of paper on fire and they are able to see a little bit more

Specs does a cartwheel for no reason and falls halfway through, hitting his head on the floor

Specs took 2 damage

The group bickers while Spot tries to search for useful stuff

Spot finds half a roll of one-ply toilet paper and an IKEA hat

Specs follows suit and does the same

Specs finds half a roll of one-ply toilet paper and a little party hat

Race is a bit more suspicious but explores as well

Race finds a children's book titled ‘Good Night Moon’ and a pile of small bones

Race questions the group on who they are, they start to bicker some more

Race is recognized as a popular TikTok creator by Specs and Smalls. Davey and Spot have no idea who he is

They all introduce themselves

Davey takes the lead so the group can explore

When the group begins to wander away from the front door, the IKEA seems to grow darker. Soon enough the light source fades away and all they have is the quickly dwindling flame from Smalls. Spot gets the urge to try and go back.

Spot tries to go back and find an exit despite the protests of the group (Smalls is back on Spot’s shoulders by this time)

When Spot rounds the corner they just came from, instead of finding the front doors he comes face to face with more pitch black. But, because he had Smalls with him, he could see it was just isles of pots and pans. The front doors were gone.

Davey joins the two

Spot panics because the front entrance is now gone

Specs tries to stay behind but gets yelled at by Race and joins them

The group bickers about where the exit is supposed to be and how Spot must’ve taken a wrong turn

Everyone hears the faint voice of someone though they can't understand what they're saying. Davey, though, hears something along the lines of "The store -- exit -- building"

Everyone stops to listen to the faint voices

Race asks what it said and Davey repeats the chopped up dialogue

Spot shouts at the voice for it to speak up

"The store -- exit -- building" It was a bit louder this time.

The group starts to be iffy, commenting about how they’re being stalked

"The store -- closed, please exit -- building"

Race gets angry and shouts back at the voice

"The store -- closed, please exit -- building"

Specs comments about it possibly being a labyrinth

Checkpoint 1

The group agrees to try and find and exit

Spot thinks the voice is friendly

Race hears a voice that tells him to “Run” and he grows anxious, insisting that the group needs to run

The voice keeps repeating itself over and over, growing louder as the group stands around and argues about what to do. Some want to run while others want to stay.

Race’s panic and insistence on running starts to freak out the other group members

"The store is currently closed, please exit the building"

Davey yells at it to shut up

Davey hears the voice that Race did telling him to “Shut up, it hears you”

Davey is now freaked out and tries to silence the other group members

Race keeps trying to convince the rest of the group to run because he’s a scared little bitch

"The store is currently closed, please exit the building" The voice is much closer now, almost as if it's around the corner.

Davey keeps telling people to shut up because goddamn, Spot doesn’t know how to be quiet

Race hears the voice telling him to run again he screams and books it into the darkness

Davey and Spot chase after Race (after Spot set Smalls down)

Spot tells Davey to stay with Smalls

Davey goes back

Race is terrified and insists that they need to leave and Spot just kinda picks him up

Oh yeah they basically switched heights in this lol

"The store is currently closed, please exit the building"

The rest of the group joins Spot and Race

"The store is currently closed, please exit the building" "Please exit the building, we are now closed." There's two voices now.

Spot sets Race down but Race panics more and grabs Spot

"The store is currently closed, please exit the building" "Please exit the building, we are now closed."

Everyone books it

When the group takes off, two figures round the corner, the voices coming directly from them. One was tall...at least, its torso was. It had to be seven feet tall, its hands stretching all the way down to its knees. Of all of its height, his legs were only two feet. Its hands were the size of melons and its skin was white. And its face? There was nothing. It was flat and voice of all features. The other one was just as tall but more legs than torso. It looked vaguely more human than the other but with hands just as big and a bit wider. Both of them were dressed like IKEA workers. "The store is currently closed, please exit the building" "Please exit the building, we are now closed."

The group stops running and Race continues to panic like wtf he’s such scaredy cat. Smalls is literally just playing on Spot’s switch right now in Specs’ arms while everything is happening.

The voice Davey and Race could hear is loud enough for everyone to hear now. It whisper-yells, "RUN!"

The group listens and runs again

The humanoid figures faded behind the corner but one of them snapped their head in the direction of the group. "The store is currently closed, please exit the building" "Please exit the building, we are now closed."

Davey tells everyone to shut up again as if that’s gonna be any help

Race runs into a shelf

Specs makes fun of him

Davey forces Race to keep moving

The sounds of pounding footsteps came up behind them: the humanoids were running.

Spot stops running and instead charges at the humanoid workers, screaming at the top of his lungs with a frying pan. Who knows where he got it cause I don’t

Race screams so much he's literally like a little girl but he manages to muffle it and grabs onto Davey for dear life

Specs grabs a castiron skillet

Another large figure jumped down from one of the shelves, landing squarely on the mostly torso humanoid on all fours. No one could make out what creature it was, but one of the humanoids were down. The other kept charging the group. "Please exit the building, we are now closed."

Spot and Davey each try to attack the IKEAN but miss

The IKEAN misses its attack on Spot as well

Specs and Race both try to attack as well, both of them missing

Spot was close with his next attack but the IKEAN dodged out of the way just in time

Davey misses

The IKEAN misses Spot again

Specs aims for the IKEAN’s head with his skillet

Specs hits

IKEAN took 1 damage

Race misses

Spot misses

Davey finds a pan lying around and tries to hit the IKEAN with the pan

Davey hits

IKEAN took 3 damage

The IKEAN turns on Davey and swings at him

It hits

Davey took 4 damage

Specs lands another hit with a different pan

IKEAN took 3 damage

Race tries to swipe at the humanoid’s throat with his knife

Race completely misses and the humanoid actually swats him away, sending him sailing back towards where the creature is tearing into the other humanoid

Spot attacks the IKEAN again

Spot hits

IKEAN took 5 damage

Davey lands another hit

IKEAN took 6 damage

Specs successfully hits the IKEAN again

IKEAN took 3 damage

Spot missed again, just barely missing the humanoid

Davey missed again

The IKEAN misses Spot again

Whatever was mauling the other humanoid seemed to be barely paying attention. In fact, it barely registered that one of the humanoids arms got flung at Race who was now only a couple feet away.

Race is SHOOK TM and stares at the creature

The creature looked up, green, cat-like eyes somehow barely reflecting the light from Smalls' fire. When it made eye contact with Race, it darted away, disappearing in the dark and leaving the dead humanoid.

Race tries to communicate with the creature but it’s gone by the time he talks

Spot is running around the IKEAN making it dizzy and look stupid

The voice comes back to Race. It says: “Run. Run while you can.”

The voice is then with Spot. “Aim for the neck.”

Spot gains advantage for the rest of the battle

Spot honestly just sucks and still can’t hit the IKEAN

Race is about to run

A pair of hands press against Race’s back and whispers to him, “Not yet.”

Spot jumps on the IKEAN’s back

Spot grabs it by the collar of it's shirt, riding it like a beautiful fucking horse, and hitting it with reckless abandon

Spot is basically just playing the drums though and the IKEAN throws him off

Davey throws another pan and it hits

IKEAN took 1 damage

From somewhere in the shelves, an arrow comes flying and lodges itself directly in the skull of the humanoid. It stops flailing around and stops talking in that kind voice before falling to the ground with a thud.

Checkpoint 2

Spot is on the ground just dying like damn son

Davey is running around asking if anyone needs healing

No, there is no Genji

Spot makes some clever comments and breaks the fourth wall

Race is all “What the fuck is that thing?” About the dead IKEAN

The arrow appears to be made out of some sort of stainless steel attached to some sort of wooden dowel. The feathers on the end weren't even feathers, instead crude pieces of paper somehow attached to the wood. It was clear through the thing's head.

Davey take the arrow

A weird goopy residue covers the entire arrow. It's also sticky and white have fun.

Spot kicks the IKEAN’s body

Race begins to wonder if it means someone is on their side. “But this means someone else is on our side, right?”

Davey questions who else could possibly be there. "Who would come in this hellhole? Other than us, because you're all idiots."

An arrow thunked into a box on a shelf right next to Smalls who probably didn't react.

Spot immediately grabs Smalls and protects them

Davey and Race are really suspicious about the arrows

As Race glanced towards the arrow, the same set of green cat eyes appears behind Smalls.

Spot pulls Smalls away and stares at the eyes

The eyes turn towards Spot, staring for a few seconds before closing and disappearing.

Davey and Race try to figure out what to do when the voice returns and says “Hide.”

Davey suggests they climb and they do

First, Spot tries to grab the arrow and follow the eyes but the arrow is gone and the eyes too

The group brushes it off and climbs higher into the shelves

Race is short and gets a boost from Davey and Spot pulls him up

Another arrow lands near them, this time nearly hitting Spot and jamming into another box.

Davey grabs the arrow and examines it

In the metal arrow tip, there was an engraving: J.K.

They make it to the top and sit around using the small flame for a light as well as Spot’s switch

Davey brings this to the attention of the group

Spot thinks it’s J.K. Rowling

It’s not

Davey hands Race the arrow

The eyes appear behind Race, almost as if looking at the arrow.

The group reacts quickly, Spot grabbing Race, Race squeaking and panicking, and Davey being confused because he’s blind or something

They talk to the eyes, learning that the voice belongs to them

The group learns that whoever the eyes belong to knows one of the members

Davey tries to ask for its name but gets no straight answer

“You don’t know me.” It was a statement of fact, not a question. “You never did.”

Davey asks if it knows who J.K. is

“A friend.”

Davey questions if the eyes want the arrow. It does.

Davey: "I don't mean to be rude, but why are you talking to us? We're not exactly useful."

The eyes narrowed but no more questions came. A hand reached out from behind Race to grab the arrow but they missed because Race happened to move it. It didn't answer Davey.

The group notices and Race squeaks like a little mouse again

The very human-like hand quickly pulled back, retreating into the darkness.

Spot is weirdly entranced in the cat eyes it’s pretty funny

Race asks what the eyes want and they reply with “Nothing.”

Davey figures out it’s lying

The eyes don’t tell the truth

Race: “We were being shot at ten seconds ago! I think we deserve some answers!”

Another arrow landed in the box next to Race, all while the eyes stared at him. It had the same carving as the arrow Davey had.

Davey tries to make a deal with the eyes where they keep one arrow and give the other to the eyes

It fails

The eyes need them both

They come up with another deal

The two arrows for help and trust

The eyes ask how old everyone is and quickly starts to grow confused

Davey is 19

Race is 16 (Lied about being 18 but the eyes knew it was a lie)

Specs is 19

Smalls and Spot don’t answer

The eyes glanced around at the group, narrowing slightly. The voice seemed to have soften, a more human voice with confusion poking through. “That can’t be right.”

The group was confused

“You should be younger...” The hand took the arrow from Race without any hesitation and then the arrow from Davey.

Davey asks for the voice’s pronouns. They eyes don’t care.

The eyes disappeared

The group bickers some more

Spot tries to climb back down into the store

A hand grabs spot by the back of the shirt, reaching out from the darkness. “Don’t go down.”

Spot complains and asks why

“Be quiet and listen.” If they're quiet, the members can hear another faint voice of a worker.

The group goes quiet and listens and Race is a whiny little child and wants to go home

The slow thud of heavy footsteps passed below them. If they looked, they would see another white humanoid in an IKEA uniform.

The group is :o

The hand let go of Spot once the humanoid was gone. “Never go down in the dark.”

The group learns about the day and night cycle

"You stop telling time when you've been here this long."

Specs: "Is there anything we can use to tell how much time has passed, like if those things walk by on an hourly basis?"

"There is no rhyme or reason."

A small cat darts into the light illuminating the group. Green eyes gaze up at Davey. “You.” Yes, its mouth moved.

Davey: "Me?"

"What is your name."

Davey tells the cat his name.

The cat turned towards Race, its tail flicking. Its ginger fur seemed to stand out in the light of the flickering flame; an orange tabby. “And you?”

The cat makes its way around the group, its large green eyes illuminated by the light, just as piercing as the ones that followed the group around.

When the cat gets to Spot, Spot has a counter

Spot refuses to tell the cat his name unless he gets a name from the cat

The cat slithered back into the darkness, returning to a pair of eyes that were definitely far to high up to be right. “Why should I tell you?”

Spot: "Well, if you want my name so bad, I'd only be fair if I knew yours."

The voice went silent for a bit before finally saying, “Talon.”

#newsies #newsies dnd #god this took forever to transcribe #it was worth it #have fun with this

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ofmurphys · 4 years

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✰ –– hero coffee roasters. 2pm, on a tuesday.

this bitch wants a frappu-fuckin’-ccino. murphy blinks and pastes on a smile. jesus. fake-owning this shithole’s getting real old these days. “ oh, hun, of course i can improvise that sugar rush for you. don’t even fret it. we totally keep vats of that fake java just lying around. ” honestly, murph can’t tell what’s worse –– the fact that this cardboard cutout vsco girl even asked, or the fact that she actually believes her.

hero coffee roasters loses a customer that day. as the doorbell jingles shut with the force of the girl’s slam, murphy pops a redhot into her mouth and chews. does nothing to hide her growing smirk. yeah, yeah.

good riddance.

or alternatively : hey demons, it’s me, ya gurl ! back at it again with my very snakey shadow gorl. click that read more to learn about this gorgeous amoral piece of ass. i’m trying out a new intro format, so... bear with me ! i hope y’all enjoy, and pls hmu on discord for plots !

murph is... straight up trouble. so if you want drama ? you want bullshit & compulsive lies ? you want ill-founded rage with no apologies later ? you’ve come to the right place .

this is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world . . . just kidding. murphy berman doesn’t shed tears for shit.

— && guests may mistake me as ( zoe kravitz ), but really i am ( murphy berman + cisfemale + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 11/7/1994 ). i am a ( “ coffee shop owner ” ) and would like to stay in suite ( 306 ). i won’t be much of a bother because i am ( + cunning & fierce ), but i can also be ( - acetous & cutthroat ) at times. personally, i like to ( code, flick gum wrappers at pigeons, bring my pet turtle to the movies, sit back and watch shit burn ) when i have the time to relax, and my favorite snack is ( those purple doritos, y'know. chili or whatever the fuck ) to have in my suite. thank you for checking in !

i n s p o .

coffee shop –– hero coffee roasters.

pinterest.

soundcloud –– soul sounds.

soul anthem.

b a c k d r o p . ( tw: drug mentions, alcoholic tendencies, alcohol, crime, allusions to domestic violence, violence, murder. )

2am, bar’s closed. but braids still sits, forearms draped atop the counter, shades askew. as you restock new handles, she raises a finger, like she might say something, then pours herself another bourbon. cutting her off is the least of your worries –– it doesn’t take a genius to tell this cookie can handle her own. and the shit she’s spewing ? something tells you this has never been aired before.

“ so picture the fuck outta this, bub. ” a swig. “ you’re born and before you even got the wherewithal to speak, you’re shipped off to some graham cracker family in the ‘ burbs. you start leapfrogging –– my term, tee-em –– ” a tattooed finger traces the symbol into the air accordingly. “ and after a while, it’s a game. hop a house, stay a while, see how much of their shit you can pocket. ” nostalgic sighs accompany a litany of stolen goods : cash. jewelry. first edition tetris game, hand-fuckin’-held. the hoopers’ prized gold kazoo.

don’t believe her ? onto black marble slides proof.

“ then you land. hard. the fuckin’ landry’s. ” a scornful chuckle. “ miss me with that white picket fence ass shit. but they get you your first comp, so... when they ask to adopt you, you’re like. i dunno, man. sure, i guess ? and guess wrong. ” turns out the landry’s aren’t as warm or welcoming as they claim. their youngest kid dies, freak accident. monkey bars. “ family falls apart worse than that time you tried to make a ball from fresh cigarette ash. you were eleven. ” tattooed over the scar.

braids tells you ‘bout the party being over. the bruising. but she laughs through it, rolls her eyes like she’s talking ‘bout silly old friends instead of terrible old people.

her birth mother finds her. they meet up a few times in a local park, whisks her away when she’s twelve. is it kidnapping ? technically, who gives a fuck. they lived low. under the radar. in apartments above dive bars. spent a summer breaking into parked cars. finally landed with j.j., who turned out to just be a glorified drug mule.

“ new york was fine to me. y’know, fucked off in school. kid shit. ” she shrugs. you won’t know it, but she’ll astutely sidestep the fact that she hacked her first global system at 14. she won’t mention she started accepting paypal offers from obscure reddit threads two weeks later. by 17, she was contracting independently –– a business venture, she’d tell her high school counselor, assigned to keep her from winding up on the streets.

matty, her best friend since the move to new york, decided to kiss her silly after trying shrooms. she liked it. told him maybe he could do that more often.

“ he cleaned up, ” braids purses her lips. “ after high school. stopped messing with his crowd. our crowd. ” she grabs two stirrers from a container dangerously close to your hand. taps ‘em on the counter like she’s stomping out mini fires. “ let him put a ring on me. y’know make bey proud. ”

she won’t mention that while matty gets a job as a cook at a bougie french restaurant, she continued to deal with devils. woman in her high castle. under the guise of cpu-based tetris and a whole lot of freelance web design.

but then roosevelt savings bank gets robbed. and they somehow trace the ip back to her.

it’s an easy mishap to shake. showed ‘em the websites. the code. the computer usage logs. the blues believe her, but matty...

“ trust issues. sad, huh ? thought i was fucking around behind his back. ” with criminals.

“ and then shit gets good, homie. we’re tasting stupid fucking cake. red velvet... ” cue a laugh. bitter. the stirrers stop tapping. “ then i meet aamina and everything goes to shit. i brought it up, you know. like. hey, your fiancée might be a little bit into pussy. ”

for the first time all night, her eyes meet yours. and it’s only then you realize... there’s some heavy fuckin’ sadness swimming in those baby browns. worlds pass through them. alternative stories –– where matty wasn’t high. where he didn’t reach for the knife.

“ he lost it. ” silence. she looks away. “ anyway. ” she launches into why chicago –– why she studied pre-law for two years before tossing in the towel. because “ fuck a judge, man. ” and she’s into the finer things in life. ( she struck you as an arts type. what with the glasses. the vintage band tee worn like a dress. maybe you get a glimmer of pride knowing you were right. she won’t mention that the whole thing’s a farce. )

she launches into why a coffee shop. she’ll tell you the beautiful thing about coffee is it takes no shit. she’ll tell you owning a place gets fuckin’ wild, but she’s in it for the free java and coffee-themed booze. a perk all hourly baristas like her enjoy. “ and we made that top list or whatever. of fly places here. an honor. i’d like to thank god, and also jesus. which i hope you know are my boys bazzi and frank ocean. ”

you’ll google hero coffee roasters later. and find its registered owner goes by brian tubolino. but hey, maybe she’s married.

when braids finally decides it’s time to go, sunlight’s nipping at chicago’s heels.

“ you chill if i ... ? ” before you can answer, she’s takin’ a swig straight from the half-finished bottle of bourbon. picks it up and cradles it under one arm, precious cargo.

“ souvenir, man. in remembrance of you. ”

#intro.#✰ –– don't punish the tiger for taking its prey ! inspo.#✰ –– so ugly but you love me ! she speaks.

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writing-and-guacamole · 5 years

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OTP AU Ideas:

1.~The ice cream truck is giving away free samples to couples; I’m dead broke and single, but you’re just standing there, so, “yes sir, this is my boyfriend of five years; I’ll take the chocolate waffle cone” and “stop asking questions, do you want ice cream or not?”

2.~I got caught robbing McDonald’s on a dare (honestly, it was three quarters and a milkshake, are the handcuffs really necessary, officer?) and now I’m stuck in the back of a police cruiser. The officer picks you up on the way to the station, and you slide in with a smirk and a Wendy’s frosty and say, “You too, huh?”

3.~You’re a street musician and rolling in cash; I forgot my wallet and need money for the bus, so hey, can I join you? Wait...are you saying my plastic kazoo isn’t a musical instrument? You wanna bet, bitch?

4.~I snuck a pint of frozen yogurt into lecture-hall, and you’re sitting next to me, silently judging, and I’m this close to shoving my spoon up your nostril if you give me one more superior look, so why don’t you go jump in a—wait, you have ice cream? Hurry up and split with me, no stop being stingy and crap, now you’re covered in ice cream and everyone’s staring.

5.~I’m painting my nails in lecture-hall, and some asshole is teasing me about it being useless and girly, and I’m seriously about to cry, but then you’re switching seats and asking if I’ll paint your nails bright pink.

(Bonus: you’re the football quarterback, and the rest of your team is lined up at lunch, asking for purple and pink nails, and you’re smirking at me across the cafeteria, and god I think I love you.)

6.~ I accidentally wore a glow-in-the-dark shirt to lecture-hall, and the professor turned off the lights for the projector, and hey, you’re glowing too! What do you mean I can’t sit next to you? I have glow sticks and we can make friendship bracelets….of course I carry glow sticks around with me. Doesn’t everyone?

7.~ My regular hairdresser is out, so you’ve been assigned to me, and hey, you’re actually really cute, can I have your—WAIT I SAID CUT OFF TWO INCHES NOT TEN!

8.~ I go jogging every morning and you’re the asshole who tapes motivational messages on my route, like, Stop running and have a donut at the bakery! and That candy shop sure smells better than running shoes, right? Eventually I get fed up and storm into the coffee shop you work at (A coffee a day keeps exercise away), ready to give you a piece of my mind, and wait…all this time, you were asking me on a date? How the hell does a slogan count as a dating invitation?

9.~Despite wikipedia being banned as a resource for our essay, everyone is using it anyway; and being the asshole I am, I edit the website to state incorrect facts. The next day, you and I are the only ones who don’t have Audrey Hepburn listed as Shakespeare’s third wife, and you’re giving me a knowing look and raising your hand and crap no don’t tell the professor I need this scholarship.

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sinceileftyoublog · 5 years

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Riot Fest Sucks

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Riot Fest Sucks. It’s a tongue-in-cheek phrase that occupies multiple meanings and connotations, referencing the organizer’s self-deprecating recognition that they’re not gonna make everyone happy with the lineup and scheduling conflicts. It’s the name of a Goose Island Beer Co. pale ale made for the Fest, at times served lukewarm, its $10 price tag a symptom of a somewhat pretend punk festival bombarded by corporate sponsors whose presence fails to belie the lack of close, cheap parking, credit card lines, and functioning ATMs. Oh, and Riot Fest Sucks because hours into it my girlfriend sprained her ankle exiting the Vans popup experience down the 20-foot fire pole with no soft landing. So unlike previous years, this year, I left after a couple sets on Friday.

I won’t get there yet--first things first, Caroline Rose. When I walked up to her stage and heard Natalie Prass playing on the loudspeaker, I thought what I initially did upon first seeing Rose’s name in small print on the lineup poster: “Why not Pitchfork?” But as soon as her band gradually came out--first "nicest legs in the band” drummer Will Morse, then “handsome and single” bassist Mike Dondero, then “best friend” Abbie Morin--and started playing a surf rock melody as Rose entered, it was clear that her unique mix of electro pop and retro rock--not to mention her early folk and country material--had her suited for a festival that embraces classic sounds. They began with new song “Everybody’s Making Out”, potentially from the new album she just finished, and then “Cry!”, the band providing a plinky breakdown to the LONER standout. Rose alternated between genuinely appreciative of a fairly large crowd coming out early on a Friday to hear some upbeat but sad songs, and being playful and goofy--essentially conducting the band with her feet while playing keys on another new spacey synth pop song, all before noticing the camera and posing as if she was in a photoshoot. Her joking fit the sarcasm of songs like “Money”, which was interrupted by Rose chugging a 312 and barely smashing the can on her head and then playing Aerosmith’s “Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” on kazoo. Rose is as fun at a festival as she is forlorn on record.

But then the incident happened. I listened to a remarkably nonstop and consistent Hot Snakes set through the medical tent next to the stage as my girlfriend iced her foot, leaving for urgent care right as Neck Deep’s catchy but juvenile pop punk began, not to return until mid way through Turnstile on Saturday. Thankfully, we were able to rent a wheelchair for the next couple days. Navigating the grounds with a wheelchair was a challenge, parking for free on Roosevelt before going through the grass of Douglas Park and the various street curbs separating the Ferris Wheel and the Rebel Stage from the main area. For what it’s worth, save for a couple unsavory comments (“You’ve got him trained well!”), most people were extremely aware and respectful, moving out of the way when necessary, and even helping us out of the mud. We chose not to get ADA access next to the sound stage until Sunday, partially because we were unaware of the possibility, but also because we wanted to be with friends and in the crowd. And from my brief experience, Riot Fest and its attendees walked the walk as much as they talk the talk about acceptance and zero tolerance for discrimination against differently abled bodies.

Speaking of Turnstile, what I saw from them was a perfect mix of rap rock, hardcore, and nu metal, favoring songs from last year’s Time & Space like “Generator”, short ditty “Bomb”, and standout “Moon”, the last played twice, once regularly and once a capella by vocalist Brendan Yates to close the set. It was much more inventive and progressive than the band who commenced immediately afterward, nonetheless Riot Fest staple Gwar. This time around, most of Gwar’s set surprisingly focused on the generic thrash music, not as many antics, just costumed men playing and spraying blood willy nilly as opposed to as part of a plot. (Except when they killed Donald Trump--that was great.) It’s not Riot Fest without Gwar, but at this point, their sick jokes and edgelord humor is appealing mostly to dudes like the one in the Joe Rogan 2020 shirt I saw leaving the set.

We then traveled to the secluded Rebel stage to catch supergroup The Damned Things, who thankfully came on late, since on the way we got caught up in one of many “What happened?!?” conversations with a friend. The band first formed in 2010 to release their debut album Ironiclast, then consisting of Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley of Fall Out Boy, Scott Ian and Rob Caggiano of Anthrax, and Keith Buckley and Josh Newton of Every Time I Die. Nine years later, they’ve released their second album High Crimes, and this time around, Caggiano and Newton have left, and in has come Alkaline Trio’s Dan Andriano. At Riot Fest, they played half songs from the first record, half from the new one, including the first four tracks of the latter, which showcase equally what The Damned Things do well and where they fall into the traps of MOR rock. “Cells” is more raw than you’d expect from a band with FOB and Alkaline Trio members, both on record and live, and is a surprisingly great introductory song to the album. The other songs they played from High Crimes, including cheesy cheerleader chanting “Something Good” and “Omen”, whose lead riff can’t decide whether it rips off Tame Impala’s “Elephant” or Muse’s “Uprising”, could have been ditched in favor of record standouts like “Carry a Brick” or “Young Hearts”. The former combines the vocal urgency from Buckley that we’re used to with ETID, with Anthrax-worthy thrash metal, while the latter (along with the record’s centerpiece “Storm Charmer”) interpolate a menacing blues rock stomp that could have been emphasized over the pop punk sheen of the Fest. Not to mention “Let Me Be (Your Girl)”, whose music is straightforward but whose lyrics feature gender inversion when assumed sung from the perspective of the lead singer. I left enjoying the set but wishing they had played for longer so I could hear the deeper cuts.

Album score: 6.3/10

Of course, the scheduling gods put Testament, also known as “if Metallica was still good,” during The Damned Things, so we had time for just a bathroom break before catching The Struts. In case you’ve never heard of them, The Struts are English glam rockers, fronted by a man who wears a shirt with batwing sleeves, who fancy themselves the lovechild of Queen and Def Leppard but end up falling closer to someone like The Darkness--which is not a bad thing! Their second album Young & Dangerous is catchy and somewhat undeniable, and the band’s fanbase came out to support them at Riot Fest, British flag in tow. It was probably the crowd’s enthusiasm that fed off lead singer Luke Spiller that made the set infectious; “If you’re not ready to dance and sing, then you might as well fuck off,” he proudly proclaimed, a nice, clear contrast to drummer Rafe Thomas oozing out the words “Hello Chicago” in the most droll voice possible. Sure, the lyrics “I bet your body’s so sweet” are even more cringey in 2019 than they would have been in the 70′s and 80′s, and the “instructing the crowd to get down to the ground” maneuver is pretty tired, but it was refreshing to see a band so unabashedly and unironically unashamed of their influences. “Don't wanna live as an untold story / Rather go out in a blaze of glory,” Spiller sang on the opening lines of “Could Have Been Me”, and upon ending the song, he instructed the crowd: “Ladies and gentlemen, remember our names!” It felt like a scene from a movie, and I couldn’t help but think that such cinematic flair is exactly what the band is going for.

I had time to catch a little bit of underrated electro pop band Pvris and pick up an Orange Wit from All Rise Brewing Co (another Riot Fest staple whose most popular beer has actually improved over the years) before catching Wu-Tang Clan, almost by default. The legendary group seems to be Riot Fest’s token hip hop booking every other year, and so I’ve seen them play Enter the 36 Chambers about 36 times. They ended up doing it again even though not billed to do a complete album set, but was I really going to see Rise Against, Manchester Orchestra, or Andrew W.K. over some of the greatest artists, let alone the greatest hip hop collective, of all time? I’ll take time number 37.

Then came what I knew was going to be the most difficult decision of the weekend, and one I kept thinking about even after it was made. Thrash metal titans Slayer were playing their final Chicago area show at Riot Fest, and their other supposed farewell show I saw last year was phenomenal. Then again, who am I to believe that this would be the time Slayer would finally stop cashing it in and retire? Instead, I opted to see something I very likely would not see again: Bloc Party playing their 2005 debut Silent Alarm in full. Based on how surprisingly great their Lollapalooza 2016 set was, I was eager to hear a set filled with, uh, only good songs, and the idea of the first sounds of the set being the echo of the opening drums to “Like Eating Glass” traversing through the crowd, was one that supplied me with a rare kind of glee. So when the band came out donning masks, launching into the album’s slow final song “Compliments”, I realized that what I initially heard as speculation--that they would be playing the record in reverse--would be true. There went my dream. The sounds and images of fire coming from Slayer’s stage filled me with regret.

But as the set went on, I realized that the choice was one that was both strategic on the part of the band, making the crowd stay to hear favorites like “Banquet”, and beneficial to the crowd. Each song was more energetic and frankly better than the previous one, from the sweet dancefloor melancholy of “This Modern Love” to the stop-starts of “Positive Tension” and “Helicopter”. Of course, “Like Eating Glass” proved to be a worthy singalong, everyone around me air drumming like nobody was watching. And I even got to see Slayer close with “Angel of Death” on the way out!

With one full day of Riot Fest finally in the books and surprisingly sore from navigating a wheelchair over patches of grass, mud, and curbs, I was thankful that the first batch of sets we were interested in seeing on Sunday was at the same stage, where I could grab beer and food and come back, and we could switch off between the grass and the ADA stage (which, awesomely, had free water). Arriving to hear the end of wildly cool and catchy Chicago post-punk band Ganser, we sat and waited for Nick Lowe with Los Straitjackets (and watched a different kind of “jacket” swarm unfortunate members of the crowd who mistakenly wore too much cologne). With the masked instrumental rockers (another band with masks?!?), two years ago Lowe released an album of instrumental versions of some of his best songs, so I was curious to hear how they would fare as his backing band. They got a slowed down “So It Goes” out of the way, as if to say to casual fans in the crowd, “I dare you to leave,” before burning through a variety of early era Lowe classics like “Without Love”, given a country spin by the band. The band delivered a mid-set instrumental performance as Lowe took a break, showing their guitar chops and stop-on-a-dime dynamism, before Lowe came back for “Half a Boy and Half a Man” and the other song everybody was waiting for, “Cruel To Be Kind”. Before playing set closer “Heart of the City”, Lowe said to the crowd, “Thank you, music lovers!” the quintessential statement from a true “music critic’s band,” but one with the pop songwriting talent to reach beyond.

I took the one-two punch of the “Save a lollipop, suck a dick” t-shirt and the tardiness and subsequent flatness of The Village People’s set as a sign that I should leave and walk by Less Than Jake opening their set with Back to the Future music, be mad again at the scheduling gods for putting the amazing-sounding Ride at the opposite end of the park from where Guided By Voices was about to play, and grab some delicious Harold’s Chicken for myself and unfortunately protein-lacking pad thai for my girlfriend. But there’s nothing like GBV to fix a less-than-ideal situation or improve an already good one. “How do you follow The Village People?” Robert Pollard hypothetically asked as the band went on. “With the village idiots!” With even less time to play than they had at Summerfest, GBV churned out practically all hits, starting with their usual set closer “Glad Girls” and revealing a barrage of known live gems--“Cut-Out Witch”, “Motor Away”, “The Best of Jill Hives”--and some they haven’t played in a while, like Isolation Drills’ “should have been a hit” “Chasing Heather Crazy” and “Echos Myron” prelude “Yours to Keep”, during which a crowd member actually blew a whistle when Pollard sang, “the whistle blows.” The latter was part of the band’s Bee Thousand finale, giving a crowd of casual fans exactly what they wanted and pleasing diehards no matter what.

Deciding to forego sprinting and catching any of Against Me!’s full albums (two of them!) set or Dave Hause & The Mermaid, I planted myself in a spot where I could see Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson’s beehives. The B-52′s followed a recipe for success in their set, leading off with track one of their debut, placing one hit early (“Private Idaho”), segueing a couple more from their debut into “Roam”, saving the two you knew they were gonna save for last. (Though I didn’t know they’d introduce “Love Shack” with War’s “Low Rider”.) The band was appropriately absurd and silly, frontman Fred Schneider’s sprechgesang adding hilarity to his response to Pierson’s “Something’s on fire in that pizza joint!” (“That’s my dinner!” he responded.) After the band ended with “Rock Lobster”, Pierson broke character and said two very serious things: 1) “Please vote!” and 2) “Go see Patti!”

And Patti Smith we did see, in all her glory. Her voice was as strong as ever on “People Have The Power”, “Dancing Barefoot”, “Free Money”, “Because the Night”, and “Gloria”. Unfortunately, almost half of her set was covers: “Are You Experienced?”, The Rolling Stones’ “I’m Free”, “Walk on the Wild Side”, “After the Gold Rush”, and for some reason, Midnight Oil’s “Beds Are Burning”. I would rather have heard something from her excellent later career albums like 2012′s Banga.

Hey, but she got a tribute during The Raconteurs’ set, as they chanted a little “Gloria” during “Top Yourself”. Along with shouting out headliners Bikini Kill (and the fact that they call God a “she” on new album closer “Thoughts and Prayers”), was it all part of Jack White’s plan to reveal himself as a feminist punk? I’m not sure; I do know that sociopolitical ideas aside, Help Us Stranger is a bit underwhelming as compared to the previous two Raconteurs releases, which were no White Stripes albums themselves. In any case, the band gave a very good set, because Jack White live is not to be reckoned with. The generic charge-up of album opener “Bored And Razed” was a buzzing jaunt on stage, and the blue-eyed soul of “Now That You’re Gone” was actually a nice change of pace from the blues-rock mashing of “Top Yourself”. On record, though it’s a welcome Ryan Adams diss track, “Don’t Bother Me” is straight up annoying, the repetition of the title after each line well-intentioned but flat--again, live, it somehow worked as a piece of absurdism. Thankfully, the band did play some of Stranger’s highlights, like the beautifully melancholy “Only Child” and power pop jam “Sunday Driver”. I wish they had replaced the comparatively generic “Somedays (I Don’t Feel Like Trying)” with catchy punk dirge “Live a Lie” or “Thoughts and Prayers”. The latter is the best song on Help Us Stranger. From the title, you think White might be trying to comment on gun control, but the song is at heart about life, a zooming folk odyssey rife with synths and fiddle and mandolin. “There’s got to be a better way / To talk to God and hear her say / ‘There are reasons why it is this way’,” White sings. It would have been an appropriate Riot Fest song: realistic, yet inspiring.

Album score: 6.3/10

But it was Bikini Kill’s triumphant reunion that was the perfect way to end the weekend, with dizzying instrumentation courtesy of Tobi Vail’s drums, Kathi Wilcox’s bass, and Kathleen Hanna’s guitar and siren of a howl. You knew they would sound great and play everything you wanted, from “Rebel Girl” to “Demi Rep”, the latter of which I hope will expose a new generation of fans to the band as the theme song to Hulu’s excellent PEN15. But the most fitting, even if not entirely poignant, was Hanna’s commentary, decrying “Let’s take this country back” white feminists and men who think they know everything, calling out rape culture more explicitly than anybody at the entire fest. “I’m sure Slayer talked about this a lot,” she quipped at one point. But it was a thought-provoking off-handed comment, one that makes me look forward to future lineups. Forget my forced symbolism of a $10 dollar beer. And I know the inherent problem of having a private, very white festival in a public park in a neighborhood made up of predominantly people of color, is not going to go away as long as the fest stays in said park. But Riot Fest can make a statement with the curation. Do they continue to market to nostalgia with minimal radical politics? Or will the festival live up to the name and, in their own words, stop sucking?

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kazoosies · 5 years

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Kazoosies (Papes/newspapers = Kazoo and verbs = toot)

Wiesel: Kazoos for the newsies! Toot up!

Jack: Good morning, Weasel. Did you toot me?

Wiesel: the name’s Wise-el

Jack: Ain’t that what I tooted? I’ll toot the usual.

Wiesel: A hundred kazoos for the wise guy

Race: How’s it tooting, Weasel?

Wiesel: At least toot me “mister”.

Race: I’ll toot you sweetheart if you’d toot me fifty kazoos.

Wiesel: Toot the cash and toot it along.

Race: Whatever tooted to romance?

Wiesel: Fifty for the Race. Next!

Crutchie: Good morning, Mr. Wiesel.

Wiesel: Fifty kazoos for Crutchie. Have a toot at this: a new kid.

Les: I’m new too!

Race: Don’t toot, kid – toots right off.

Davey: I’ll toot twenty kazoos, please.

Wiesel: Twenty for the new kid. Let’s toot the dime

Davey: I’ll toot you when I toot them.

Wiesel: Finny, kid. C’mon, cash up front.

Davey: But whatever I don’t toot, you toot back, right?

Wiesel: Certainly. And every time you toot a tooth I toot a penny under your pillow. This kid’s a riot. C’mon. Toot up the cash or toot. Come on, toot along. Albert, lemme toot your money.

Albert: You have a very interestin’ face. Ever toot of tootin’ into the tootin’ pictures?

Wiesel: You toot I could?

Albert: Sure. Toot a ticket, they toot anyone in!

#the true form of kazoosies #kazoosies #toot

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kazoosensationsarah-blog · 5 years

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Babushka Legacy Challenge

Are you looking for a legacy challenge that’s fast-paced so you hopefully won’t get burned-out after 3 or 4 generations? Do you like having goals to achieve during your legacy? Do you enjoy ruining your sims’ lives? Have you been missing some quality challenges? Then this is the challenge to quench your challenge-wanting thirst!

Not sure what a babushka is? That’s okay because I’m about to tell you... A babushka is an old woman or grandmother in Poland and Russia. The Sims 4 isn’t set in Poland or Russia, but we’re still gonna use that term because it’s kinda fun and fresh.

“ThE RUleS”

The rules are kind of flexible, but some of them are for your own good so you should probably follow them.

It’s not required for your sims to complete aspirations and get to the top of their career ladder, but it is specified in some generations if they do need to complete it.

Keep the game on normal lifespan.

Only use money cheats for your first house by using freerealestate. Don’t cheat for money after that.

You don’t have to live in any specific places unless it is specified in the generation.

This is a fast-paced legacy, but it is still 10 generations, so you won’t finish too fast, but you will be able to keep going without getting bored.

Make sure that your game doesn’t become a game over. The sims age up early into elders, so make sure there is at least a teen or older in the household upon the elders’ death. Some generations have kids really late so just be wary!

If you play this challenge, please post it with the tag #babushkalegacy so I can see!

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This challenge was originally created in my brain randomly on a boring summer afternoon, so hopefully it’s not too CRAZY for all you sims lovers! :)

Generation One: The Sweet Babushka

You don’t know where your parents are (or even who they are), so you want to make sure that you’re there for your own kid...even if they were an accident....

Traits - Cheerful, Clumsy, Active

Career - Food Critic (Critic)

Aspiration - Super Parent

Hobbies - Guitar, Comedy

Goals/Rules -

Start as an adult or young adult and have an accidental pregnancy within the first 2 sim days

After 1 week (or less if you’re feeling spicy), age up to a babushka (elder)

Devote your elderly life to taking care of your kid(s)

Attempt mastering skills/aspiration/career (BUT it’s not necessary)

Generation Two: The Indecisive Babushka

You love your mom, but you need more friends than just your mom (even though you’ll probably die before your friends). You also have never liked the idea of commitment, so there’s that....

Traits - Noncommittal, Bookworm, Romantic

Career - Management (Business), Mixology (Culinary)

Aspiration - Friend of the World

Hobby - Mixology

Goals/Rules -

Move 5 times

Swap out a piece of furniture every Monday and Thursday

Have at least 7 good friends and 10 additional acquaintances

Break off a close friendship for basically no reason

Have at least 5 boyfriends/girlfriends throughout life

Age up after 10 days of young adult to a babushka

NEVER have a child, but adopt when you are an elder

Switch career as elder to the mixology career

Attempt mastering skills/aspiration (BUT it’s not necessary)

Generation Three: The Vengeful Babushka

You were a child once, but that doesn’t mean you like children. Weights and running are better things to focus your time and energy on (do you even lift bro?)

Traits - Self-assured, Hates Children, Cat Lover

Career - Bodybuilder (Athlete)

Aspiration - Painter Extraordinaire

Hobbies - Fitness, Furries (just kidding but you can if you want)

Goals/Rules -

Have a cat or a few

Get married to the first person you try romancing

Your spouse ends up having an affair on you and has a baby with that person

Gift them paintings to try to win back affection

Have a child with a random person off the street as revenge

Once the revenge baby is a teen, age up to a babushka

Marry the random you had the child with as an elder

Don’t involve yourself with the kid(s)/grandkid(s) until you are a ghost

Generation Four: The Possibly-Murderous Babushka

Your mom doesn’t love you, so it leaves a bad impact on you. You still will love your kids though because you are NOT a monster...

Traits - Mean, Hot-Headed, Erratic

Career - Villain (Secret Agent)

Aspiration - Public Enemy

Hobbies - Handiness, Mischief

Goals/Rules -

Marry/date a coworker

Have a child with a different coworker

Every child you want has to come from different coworkers

Age up to a babushka when the first child is a teen

Always help kids with their homework, except the genius sim (heir)

Have a high handiness to get out of... sticky situations

Keep mom’s gravestone on lot and allow her ghost to visit for the first week of young adulthood

Generation Five: The Wannabe Youtube Star Babushka

You wanted to be a YouTuber, so you dropped out of school even though you’re really smart and you have potential. Oh, also you move to LA....

Traits - Lazy, Genius, Childish

Career - Trendsetter (Style Influencer)

Aspiration - Mansion Baron

Hobbies - Programming, Video Gaming

Goals/Rules -

Move to Oasis Springs or Del Sol Valley as a young adult

Get engaged to another YouTuber, have a baby, then break off the marriage

After breaking off the marriage, age up to a babushka

Since YouTube isn’t reliable due to unexplainable demonetization, do some freelance programming for some side cash

Encourage heir to be active because you don’t want to do the chores

Generation Six: The Rap God(dess) DJ Babushka

Your mom was lazy and you hate that. You want to boogie-woogie and dancey-wancey and stealy-wealy until you die....

Traits - Dance Machine, Active, Kleptomaniac

Career - None (A Self-Employed Swiper)

Aspiration - Party Animal

Hobbies - Dancing, DJ Mixing, Wellness, Fitness

Goals/Rules -

Steal for money

Meet baby daddy/momma at the nightclub/karaoke bar

Teach your toddler(s) to bop to music

When your mom dies, get a $50,000 inheritance and blow the inheritance on a new house with a huge dance floor room (or just some really expensive violins and fridges that are $15k and $14k respectively)

When you receive the inheritance, age up to a babushka

Generation Seven: The Hippie Babushka

You realize that the party life of your parents was just not for you, so you decide to move to an isolated cabin (more like a quiet suburban neighborhood) because you love the environment and are NOT a stan of climate change...

Traits - Music Lover, Loves Outdoors, Vegetarian

Career - Musician (Entertainer)

Aspiration - Musical Genius

Hobbies - Piano/Keyboard, Herbalism

Goals/Rules -

Live in the city as a teen

Move to an eco-friendly tiny home as a young adult

Have a kazoo club where they play piano (we don’t have kazoos sadly), the club meets twice a week

Have 2 friends with the “Bro” trait

Leave a “slob” sim at the altar, and immediately following that, age up to a babushka, then date and eventually marry a “neat” sim

Go camping as a honeymoon

With the new neat relationship, adopt a pet and a child

Generation Eight: The Awkward Babushka

You’re a nice person and good at writing and meal preparation, you’re just not so good at making people fall in love with you...

Traits - Perfectionist, Unflirty, Foodie

Career - Author (Writer)

Aspiration - Master Chef

Hobbies - Baking, Cooking, Gourmet Cooking

Goals/Rules -

Live in Willow Creek for whole life

Accept every date you’re asked on

Adopt at least 2 kids before becoming an elder

Complete your aspiration (Master Chef), once doing so age up to a babushka

Find “The One” as an elder

Die tragically (perhaps of embarrassment from PDA? Be creative!)

Generation Nine: The Boujee Babushka

You always knew you were a star, but you just have to prove it to everyone else by becoming rich and famous. You are really... confident to say the least...

Traits - Geek, Snob, Self-Absorbed

Career - eSport Gamer (Tech Guru)

Aspiration - World-Famous Celebrity

Hobbies - Pipe Organ, Singing, Video Gaming

Goals/Rules -

Master eSport Gamer career

Become a celebrity

Have a few scandals (IDEAS - out-of-wedlock babies, affairs, celeb drama and catfights, cheating in a game tournament)

Scare off first 5 romantic relationships

End up dating/marrying a sim with one or more of the same traits as you

Age up to a babushka when your first child becomes a teen, or naturally if that’s sooner

Generation Ten: The Try-Hard Babushka

You’re good at basically everything you try. Your parents paid for your med school because you’re so talented. Failure is seemingly nowhere in sight, unless...

Traits - Outgoing, Glutton, Materialistic

Career - Doctor (Get to Work)

Aspiration - Soulmate

Hobbies - Rocket Science, Pet Training, literally anything else

Goals/Rules -

Doesn’t really try in their career but still gets promoted

Wants to be a scientist but doesn’t want to disappoint parents

Fall in love with a scientist

No kids allowed until you reach Rocket Science level 6

Age up to a babushka when you master the Rocket Science skill

Be really talented and master 4 skills, with at least level 6 in 3 more skills

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This challenge took a really long time to make and I’m happy to let other people try it out now. Have fun!

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 legacy #legacy challenge #quick legacy #babushka legacy #babushka #babushkalegacy

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mathbrow4-blog · 5 years

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Anime T-shirts

youtube

How's going folks, as some of you may find out, on this document, I've been doing loose, anime unboxings, intended for since easy methods to coming out for being massive yes. The only one I've truly missed was the very first a person, because that's how I in fact heard about loose anime. I saw the loot on After all January 2016 and boxing and I was just like well So i'm gon na get on this kind of, and then I've had each and every one since that time, overall my own experience with loot anime since I'm certainly not sponsored by them by any means. It'S been a roller coaster. I had had a lot of really good a stash of. I'Ve possessed some actually bad crates. There'S been a lot of hidden inside. So due to a commenter on my most current lose cartoons. Unboxing unstable, which is a unique name, declared, could you make a top 20 loose cartoons t-shirts and i also thought that's not about idea. So an individual gon bist du do is actually a 2016 2018 top 10 loose anime t shirts because I actually didn't are able to have the January 2016. 1, I've included the January 2018 jersey in rather, so yes. I don't know how generates that reasonable, but I think why not, but first things earliest, let's find the honorable plugs out of the way. Thus first ethical mention goes toward this jacket, which is in the anime film blame, which is a science misinformation, film, it seems like from 2017. So it's very damn brand-new 89 % of people enjoyed this film partly acquired a 6 point six on IMDB. Now, the sole reason We don't place this one in the top-10 is literally because I've truly never observed the movie fault, which I should really do, especially we get a t-shirt pertaining to something might be I'll look at it. I must say i begin to love it how about. I just thought the style was kind of simple, don't really understand who this kind of character is definitely. Don'T know what this mark is the fault in the rear right side, corner is certainly pretty interesting. I do like that and I truly don't mind the sort of greenish kind of camo. Maybe color structure whatever that is certainly, but that's quite fascinating, but however this one just simply didn't help to make it for this next one particular I was gon na place on it's not really actually a great honorable state it, sir, a base mention We'll put it on for the article. Which means this t-shirt is normally from the new series dark clothes away, which is intended to be the new Naruto one part: Dragon Ball Z, it is gon mhh mentor, usurp them and everything, really basically a dude that wants to become the wizard King. cheap anime hoodies attempted to get into the series. I believe I watched one occurrence. Maybe I shoulda provide a little bit more of the chance, however the internet place me off of it as well, because everyone was really rinsing into this course, and this personality is very high in volume in the series and I simply couldn't prevent noticing this. Maybe the work is better. Probably I would need to give it some time, if you men like it maybe, but sad to say, I have not any light for this character, not a massive admirer of this display as well. I actually preferred this type of green because it was dark out. I actually don't know Red, isn't one of my favorite colors so sure. Unfortunately, this is gon na make it onto my top ten at amount 10. We have all gone with quite a straightforward design, which is the great Q jersey. This, should you haven't viewed, is about an anime with people playing volleyball. Now the majority of people be like it's a bit spam, I assure you. It'S not big. Q is really a lot of funny. You'D really enjoy it. There might be only a few athletics anime which i have watched, but excessive Q Kuroko no basket ball, three, which is a bad example, but I really kind of cherished free. These are examples of great sports anime. This one especially, is absolutely awesome. There'S a lot of heart and soul in this. I would personally definitely advise you men watch that, but this t-shirt is certainly pretty simple. It includes all the key characters from the main staff on here. Unfortunately, My spouse and i can't reading what this kind of says in Japanese. However , if I needed to guess it Eva says: hi Queen or the brand of their staff, which We have all completely remember because novice a while as I've watched bloody creature. Ah, the black jacket as well is going to be fantastic. Just about all the time dark t-shirts sort of elevates t shirts up simply by like a notch, so sure I give this one. My number 10 pick and number seven I've vanished with a seriously personal decision on this one. This t-shirt is from your a mushi pedal even though I would in rare cases ever dress yourself in a blue t-shirt spouse, you just noticed me from this one, of course , there's several reason. This one really works in me. I enjoy the bright white kind of We don't know lap bits. I like the simple very little design of this here. We can't bear in mind if it's faded, naturally or perhaps if it's just over time, it's actually faded today or it was already that way. But there is not just this kind of. As well around the back, it has the cycling team. This t-shirt provides honestly been one of the best t-shirts that I believe I've got in terms of top quality like it has the really thin, but I don't know We have. Just Legal herbal buds really enjoyed it, which can be weird the only reason that we didn't put any higher, even though it is normally one of my favourite ones that we've got is certainly it's the 1st t-shirt to begin having problems which in turn I'm not really too sure if you'll be able to see. WE ARE asking therefore , as you can see in the t-shirt here, it begins to curl up and it just like yeah. Is actually just went all odd and frayed at the bottom, and this is the sole t-shirt. Gowns done this kind of out of every single one. It'S a bit of failure, but they have still holding on no quick rips inside the underarms or perhaps anything like that. It'S been a great t-shirt. We kind of may put it inside my top 3 if it weren't for the simple fact that it appears to be sort of continually curling up. So I think at some point I'm gon na get a t-shirt, absolutely like approximately here, although other than that. Nowadays, look this t-shirt number 9 and number main. I'Ve gone with the ghost in the shell' t-shirts. It's a lovely maroon color, which is one of the big selling points of the jersey. You'Ve also obtained a picture of the major in this article now this definitely the major from your movies. It is a one via I think, the television series or maybe the anime series. This isn't my personal favorite one. Because of this , it can't be elevated to much higher. However , if it is, consequently my poor, you also received a lot of stuff going on on this aspect, so they can be quite like I love having a number of the Japanese publishing on it, accompanied with the British words, yet there's a lot of stuff going on. Let'S see if I will read this inverted, Newport City niihama, Prefecture, Makoto Kusanagi, which is the majors brand. I do believe her rise is here as well major discipline commander with they go, it truly is from the ghost in the shell' arise. If you are savvy recover one, sad to say, I have just watched ghost in the shell', the earliest movie as well as the live-action video, which unfortunately We wasn't incredibly impressed regarding so never mind. This t-shirt, lovely color. I like it, not the most beautiful t-shirt. I have ever had, and unfortunately it is far from the major that I'd desired, or at least I just don't think it is actually, but sure at number 7. I possess gone when using the ultraman t-shirt now. This is certainly one of the previous t-shirts that any of us got inside the loot, cartoons series, and this one, I do believe, is superb. The only difficulty I'm going to quickly mention with this one is certainly my primary couple: cash is, We started obtaining smalls now I kind of fit more into mediums more perfectly, therefore it can be a little tad tight. Then i wish it was a channel now, but that doesn't distract from the fact that this is a terrific design. I love the gray. The dark dreary t-shirt is an excellent choice as well as the accompanying from the bright attractive colors, with Ultraman below fighting a giant kazoo. If perhaps that is anything from ultraman, you men must. Let me know in the statement section beneath, but there might be just a great deal going on. We have kind of japan land Sun rising up on the backwards, and you have each one of these little places here, get high on there they're just capturing from the tops of the setting up, which is positively fantastic, how to start what the terms say: the most notable I'm going to might hold the view Ultraman. Take a look at, but yep t-shirt put in at home but successful, and I adore it and amount six I had gone with the trigun t-shirt. Now. This town is, of course , in white colored white t shirts, always quite damn amazing this a family's a little bit more sophisticated of a designer's than ones we've acquired so far. This can be of Vash the Stampede and it is from Trigon movie. I do believe badlands Rumble, as it says down only at the very platform. So certainly we got the Tri gun name right. There we have Vash right here and then we've got all the other stuff going on below, but I do like the two little principal points flying away there too. This one. I might have favored a little bit more of a serious coloration to this you, but I kind of like the little kind of I just wouldn't declare: cartoony while be present anime cartoon figures. But you really know what I mean like kind of minor little teeny weeny piece of chibi ant on the personas designs presently there, but still pretty damn great. I like this kind of t-shirt, and this is the reason why I thought I'd put it up. At this time there number half a dozen spot and number five. I do think this is one of the initial free boxes I ever got with loot cartoons. This is the Dark red t-shirt, it is actually in dark, so dark-colored is awesome. It is actually accompanied by a reddish, white and blue color scheme, not sure if it's depicting a little bit of the American banner here, which may be in mention of the the fact that this is based on an anime named ruby. However , it was made in America, then i don't know, probably there's some things going on now there if evening, it's merely part of the color scheme regardless, but I really like the design about this. One. You have got one of the main people here. Ruby you've got. I forget any time this dragon even includes a name, nonetheless this is bright spot Academy and it's really got our W D Y, which stands for Ruby and is as well initials with each one, the main characters first of all names. This t-shirt is without question from a whole lot of opinion from other people massive big fan of roosterteeth and I've always wanted to own a selection of their merch. I do think if I was going to buy my first roosterteeth merch, it has the gon na, be those likes watermelon. T-Shirt only keep it simple, but I really like the fact that loot cartoons sense each year roosterteeth merch t-shirt, so it saved me going to have to go buy one. Which means this is my own one. Should i ever desire to support probably my favorite makers out there, this tool I really like -- and it's an example of my favorite kinds - I simply love the design of it - that's really cool every time. I take one of these t-shirts away, I'm sure I'm making in pretty bad shape of my hair. That'S not too bad. For number four, I have eradicated with The Deadman Wonderland loose animate shirts. This one, i really believe, is absolutely magnificent and I sort of wish I put it a little bit higher, maybe in to the top free of charge, but Now i'm sticking with this now, quite simply, black jersey, awesome consequently in blood red towards the top you've got Ganter. I do consider his name is normally, and in the underside right within a much more durable, pink but blood like color is normally Shiro, that i do believe that he's light. It'S been a little while, since I had watched Deadman Wonderland, I remember the cartoons being an interesting premise regarding people that can control the blood women themselves, much like blood bending and much just like a fantastic anime. If you haven’t watched this as well outside of the border god, I enjoy a tee shirt, jersey from that interesting anime, certainly not the best, might be the mangas better than this, because the cartoons doesn't truly finish. But still I just love the fact that main personality is upside down and Shiro is right-side up these types of blending in to the shoulder too. It'S rather damn impressive and I is able to see it down the bottom below. We'Ve got a few words that i can presume says that man wonderland and just the sort of blood vessels kind of look for it, since blood is definitely a focal point with this series. The only thing which is a tad the embarrassment it's nonetheless pretty damn cool is the fact that that Shiro has her eyes made and a large part of their character is that she's sort of an albedo character and her your-eyes very expressive and distinct. So it's kind of a disgrace: she's acquired her eye closed, yet that's in all probability symbolizing a thing. So this is the reason why I like that one there's a lot going on with it rather damn magnificent. Moving into the top three by number, three I've eradicated with the mob. Psycho 95 t-shirt, that i think rocks !, you'll find for these next three they're, all coming from anime series that I genuinely really preferred. So this is kind of as to why they're up so high, since I have a number of feelings in regards towards the t-shirts hence having a mob psycho. 85 t-shirt with mob in the mystery suspense mystery kind is pretty damn magnificent. If you don't really know what map psycho is, We would definitely suggest you enjoying it. It is made by precisely the same person that manufactured one strike man. Therefore there's the incentive. This kind of t-shirt contains a lot of mystery, Black's silhouette of mob occurring here while using the red ominous background going on and with the light piercing eye. I think is awesome also with additionally, firm abs very different white writing here, which I do think says: mob psychic over 70. It definitely says 100. I will. I can absolutely read that so no, I really like this t-shirt. Herbal legal smoking buds heard some. People claim I think, after i did this kind of unboxing got this one back in the day I was similar to this is my own new most desired loose anime t-shirt and a couple of people weren't overjoyed by it, nevertheless I really liked it thus yeah I had love to really know what you Fellas think of me anyway, inside the comment section below, but let's move on at amount: two is definitely the no game, no existence t-shirt, and this t-shirt possesses a lot occurring that. We, like initial things. First of all love the black color, blue color favorite color is unknown. This is probably certainly one of my favorite shades of blue over a t-shirt as well the darker, the better pretty much and forgetting my no game. No existence law a bit more here, but I think the angel seeking creature here is a flugel. I do believe it's a flugel. Actually can't remember, nevertheless this is a color, a great angel for now Jabril. Only, if I remember correctly from the the sub-contract, which was one among my favorite personalities from the series, they have an absolutely awesome fight between Shiro and her. She is basically awesome to acquire unbe frontier with the color scheme, as well with this type of yellow starting orange, starting pink entering purple starting blue, I do think, is absolutely wonderful and get the know. Game known life with the very lower side written in I assume, Western and in the English simply just well just in the bottoms down there, and you simply got just a little power switch there, which I think it's pretty damn awesome. You could have also got somewhat spackling. The feathers going on around here. Well, I like it, I do think it's a it's snazzy, I enjoy it. I really like the color plan. I use it all the time. This fits well and second pick. Likewise I really like no game, simply no life. I understand some people believe it's a waste of money, but I absolutely liked that. I want to call at your second time of year. I know they have perhaps the movie popping out, but you find out still in addition to first place, which is kind of funny, because it is the most recent jersey to come out. This is actually January 2018 t-shirt out of Stein's gates, so this t-shirt comes in a creamy white kind of color, not so creamy that I don't like it, but is not so light that I could call it white wines. So it's sort of a creamy white color, the color system on this jersey is awesome. You have got Cohen chioma here and kurosu. Here I feel like it's been such a long time. Since We have watched Stein's gays, I might have to check out it all once more time. Travel and leisure in any sort of media brochures, anything is usually awesome and having a time, travel based, anime and today having a time, travel founded t-shirts, awesome one of the best things about this t-shirt too. Is the color scheme. Which is going on it's a very simple kind of muted, yellows, purples and blues, however they sort of make up the color and search. It looks very smart all in all. What, when using the the cogs is one out of the background and everything this kind of mechanical time-travel 2 stuff going on the background, I believe it's very great, and this is what actually helps it be my favorite jersey so far right now don't get the wrong impression. Just cos. I set this in first place, does not mean it has the that far off with some of some other t-shirts that list it. I am talking about this, actually that far off from just like the 10th spots you're for but don't, I know ninth place position, let's just say number I like this kind of t-shirts, and i also personally believe it's my own number one settle on keep in mind fellas. This is my personal point of view and your guys's opinion varies. I'D like to know what you guys believe in the statement section below if you've been buying the loot, anime t-shirts anyway, but anyway, guys. That may be my top ten list of loot and I built t-shirts. Let me know you four, in the observations section beneath, if you'd like to find out another top ten list of loot, anime stuff, specifically my personal top 10 loose and rounds mangas, that we've got mainly because I have a collection of every single loose, anime manguera that they dispatched. Let me know inside the comment section below anything that guys thanks a lot for the purpose of watching and find out you the very next time.

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hoekins · 6 years

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HAWKINS 9

i just finished writing this right now, it’s fresh from the oven my feels

pairing: mike wheeler x oc (steve’s sister)

warning: lighthearted swearing, some lumax feels iM

2.4k words

masterlist

GROSS!

Stacy didn’t really ask for Steve to drive her to the arcade but it’s not like another option is available. Her parents aren’t keen on cashing out on a new bicycle for her to travel around in since they’re planning on getting her her own car anyway, they‘re just waiting for the right moment and maybe not until Stacy gets her driver’s license for Hawkins. So for the mean time, Stacy enjoys the free rides in the company of her older brother who seems to find driving her around an excitable agenda.

As Steve clutches the gear shift to pull up right in front of the arcade, he tilts his body to ask his sister, “Do you need change for the games, quarters, or?”

“Are ya offering me free money?” Stacy grins, chewing along to the pink gum in her mouth.

“Yeah, no, get out.” Steve huffs, facing front once again with his left hand on the steering wheel.

“Grumpy ass,” Stacy mumbles to herself, pressing the seatbelt to unwrap it from her body. One foot at a time, she launches herself out of Steve’s car and turns to him since he has a few more words to leave before he does.

Steve’s eyes strain themselves to look at his sister against the obnoxiously bright neon lights on the arcade sign. “I’ll pick you up at 7.”

“9.” Who in the world plays arcade games for just one hour?

“Stacy—“

“8.”

Steve purses his lips before giving in, “Okay, fine. Be safe.”

Stacy stands by the entrance, watching her brother’s car weave through the ongoing traffic on the main road before she enters the dark building illuminated by colorful lightbulbs attached to the game machines. It takes her a while to find her friends in the busy crowd, noting to herself that Friday nights in the summer sure do promise an influx of prepubescents. She does find them crowding a Centipede game machine. As she wiggles her way past short and long bodies alike to get to Max, a tall boy munching on Cheetos blocks her path.

“Are you 18?” He asks monotonously, orange fingers weaving their way out of the sticky bag of chips.

Stacy looks around and catches Will’s eyes who tilts his head in question of the scenario Stacy has caught herself in. Returning her gaze toward the lanky brunette, she replies, “No...”She meant to say it in a duh tone but it ended up sounding more of a question.

“Aha! You’re not from here!” The tall boy prods. The more that Stacy is forced in his presence, the more that she picks up some... details about him like that his scent reminds Stacy of basements, the kind with atrocious ventilation that results to trapping of sweat inside the room due to the lack of windows or air vents. The older teenager derails her train of thoughts, “You have an accent.” He says it like he just decoded a million-dollar Math problem.

“Is he bothering you?” Dustin pops out of nowhere, head peeking out from behind the intrusive stranger. Stacy glances subtly at him, hopefully successfully sending pleas through her eyes which Dustin picks up on thankfully. “You’ll have to excuse him, Stacy. He’s not exposed all that much to the opposite sex.”

“Good to know you’re finally getting out of Nancy’s hair.” Lucas scoffs.

“Whatever.” The creepy teenager mutters with gritted teeth before pushing past a few other kids to get to the cashier counter.

Stacy turns back to her friends and gives them a small smile as they all walk back in front of the game machine. “Do you know how to play?” Dustin asks her as she watches Max strategically press buttons in patterns that don’t make quite sense to her.

“Not really.” She shrugs, looking at Dustin before gazing around the arcade and spotting single basketball games with hoops lined along a wall. “I can play that though.” She points to the other side of the room, catching Dustin’s, Lucas’, Will’s, and even Mike’s—who was busy watching Max play— attention.

“Basketball? We’ve never tried that before.” Lucas mentions. He and his friends have practically lived in the arcade for days on end yet none of them has ever touched a ball from there. Sure, they’ve joked about playing it before but no one ever really stuck through and tried it.

“Well,” Stacy casually shoves both her hands inside the back pockets of her jeans, “I usually play with a team.” She adds all the while glancing at Max to catch her reaction which by the way, is just a determined look in her face as she continues to aggressively press buttons. Stacy only ever came to the arcade because she offered to be there for Max when she deals with telling Lucas what she feels, specifically what troubles her.

“Yes!” Max yells, throwing her tired hands up in celebration. “Suck it, Wheeler!” She smirks at the poor boy, knowing Mike wouldn’t be able to overthrow her at the top of the leaderboard. “Stacy!” She greets excitedly, wrapping her arms around the dark-haired girl, squeezing her slightly before letting go.

“Stacy wants to play the basketball.” Dustin word-vomits, pointing at the hoops.

“What!” Stacy reacts, “I just said I could play, not that I wanted to! I don’t want to shame myself really,” she says as an excuse while shaking her hands in front of her.

Dustin and Lucas weren’t listening anyway as the two of them literally drag Stacy in front of the game, excited to see what she’s got. The boys standing near the basketball game machines all quirk an eye at the unfamiliar girl with pink cheeks looking a little bit distracted as one of her friends input a quarter inside the machine.

“Kick their ass, Stac.” Max giggles, pushing Stacy closer to the edge of the game machine. Stacy looks back at Max with a freaked out look on her face but she’s forced to play as the countdown under the score lights go from 3 to 2 and to 1.

Stacy feels a little underwhelmed at the fact that she’s literally planted on the floor, unmoving like the basketball hoop in front of her. It’s nothing like an actual game at all, especially that the hoop is not as high up as actual boards in a game but she lives through it. Stages 1 and 2 pass her by a breeze until the hoops actually started moving horizontally which weren’t much but it’s then that she actually started enjoying the game.

From behind, her friends watch her, lowkey impressed as she hauls her 5’2 body upwards and slightly forwards to shoot every single ball, except for one when her worn- out striped sweater was pulled out from being tucked under her jeans and she felt slightly conscious.

“A-right, it’s taking too long,” she laughs, discontinuing the game and walking towards her friends instead. She feels guilty that they’re all just waiting for her to finish the game when they could be playing something else. Red lights flash 304 behind her until the countdown finishes and the tickets pile a little on the floor. “You can have it, thanks.” She smiles at Dustin since he was the one who offered a quarter for her game anyway.

“Sweet.” Dustin grins widely, plucking the long trail of tickets and gushing with Lucas about it. They were thinking of getting that kazoo from the prizes stand just so they could annoy their friends with it.

“We practically rule this place, huh?” Max jokes, bumping shoulders with Stacy who chuckles along with her.

Stacy looks around a little, noting that Dustin and Lucas are still busy with the tickets and Mike and Will are simply standing, trying to make sense of what they should do next. “Have you talked to him?” She asks with a hushed voice.

Max looks down on the floor, as if her sneakers are the most interesting thing she’s ever seen. “Not really.” She mumbles.

“Hey,” Stacy says softly, “You don’t have to do it right now, yeah? I don’t want you to feel like I forced you into this. It was just a suggestion.” She explains. Max nods, releasing a big puff of breath she didn’t know she was holding.

Stacy smiles lightly, “You’re eavesdropping.” She says to no one in particular, but she does have one person in mind.

“H-huh?” Mike straightens his stance, cheeks flushing at being caught redhanded. Will glances at his friend, then at Stacy, then at Max, then back to Mike, looking as confused as ever. “I wasn’t,” Mike says sharply in feeble defense.

Stacy smiles wider, finding the situation and maybe Mike Wheeler’s rosy cheeks funny. “Didn’t say it was you, bud. But if the shoe fits..”

This time, it’s Max’s turn to mirror Will’s confused side glances. What the hell?, she mentally asks herself. Wasn’t it just four days ago that these two were like trained savages coming for each others necks? The question doesn’t ever stop coming through her mind. They all pile up in her head.

However, the shrill sound of the kazoo cuts its way through the awkward tension in the group. “Oh hell no,” Mike mutters to himself, already hitting his forehead at the upcoming migraine he would be having the near weeks. His friends and objects that make sounds don’t really mesh well, he knows that so well after Lucas tried to learn how to play the clarinet. Mike felt a little relieved after he lost interest.

“Why do these two look like someone tried to explain quantum physics to them?” Lucas furrows his eyebrows, stretching an arm to gesture at Max and Will.

“Anyway,” Stacy claps, “Which should you play next?” She asks the group, but none of them seem to want to play any more games. Neither do Lucas and Dustin who are both already satisfied with their new musical instrument and weapon of mass migraine, if not destruction.

“They’re selling cotton candy outside.” Will shrugs, inwardly craving the sweet snack.

Everyone else shrugs back, willing the entire friend group to haul ass outside in search of the cotton candy stand. It’s a few steps that they take as they all line up for the stand, using their excess coins to buy a stick of cotton candy.

In the windy chill of the night, Max, Lucas, Will, Dustin all sit on a curb in a line, nibbling through the sugar on stick, enjoying the company of each other. Max gives Lucas side-glances through her blue cotton candy every once in a while until Lucas himself started noticing.

“You okay, Max?” Lucas turns to her with a worried look on his face.

Max’s breath catches a little in her throat, “Huh?” She asks, taken a little off-guard. It’s been quite a while since Lucas asked her that. “Y-yeah.” She answers softly, smiling afterwards at the boy she has been crushing on for almost a year now.

“Okay, but I’ll be here to listen in case. Okay?” Lucas smiles back at her, already forgetting the cotton candy in his hand.

“Okay.” Max replies with a little nod. Just as she takes a bite from her snack, the boy next to her sneaks in a quick kiss on her cheek.

“Gross.” Will announces as a joke, biting through his own cotton candy with a little smile on his face. He’s feeling better lately, and hasn’t had an episode since the last one which is a good sign. It’s enough to make him giddy, but with the added sugar, the boy is jumpy with energy.

Meanwhile, Dustin can’t help but wonder what’s taking Mike and Stacy so long. The two were left lining up by the cotton candy stand just a few meters away while the rest of the group sat down by the pavement. At this point, Dustin thought the two have already murdered each other, but as his eyes look around the area, he spots the two conversing just a few steps away from the cotton candy stand, two colorful fluffs of candy forgotten in their respective hands. Unfortunately for Dustin, he can’t hear them but he does pick up the relaxed vibe coming from Mike’s body language. He then, is as confused as Max and Will were a while ago. It’s like seeing fire and ice interacting so comfortably.

What Dustin can’t hear from afar is Mike asking Stacy, “So... Have you noticed anything from them? Will is really quiet but I very possibly believe he can’t harm a fly let alone El—“

“That’s the same for the rest of ‘em, Mike. How do you think they’d feel when they find out you thought they could do something so horrible?” Stacy tries to guilt trip him, but Mike’s head is too clouded and honestly a little distracted from the fruity scent he smells distinctly from Stacy.

“I’m on their side.” Mike appeals.

Stacy frowns, “It doesn’t look like it, Mike.” She takes a deep breath, “Keeping secrets from friends never end well.”

“Okay, Will the wise—“

“What?”

“Oh, it’s an inside joke,” he waves a hand off to dismiss the idea. “Don’t change the topic! It’s like you’re not even trying to watch over them.”

“What, do you expect me to crouch around them with a magnifying glass in hand?” Stacy chuckles. She’s observant at best and notices even those she doesn’t want to notice.

Mike glares at her then rolls his eyes ever so slightly. “You don’t need to crouch, you’re already short.”

“Wow!” Stacy exclaims at the banter. “Look who’s talking! You’re like 5’4, you fucking troll!” Stacy would have appeared offended, but Mike finds her outburst funny anyway.

“I’m way taller than that.”

“Not as tall as your ego.” Stacy barks back, but at this point it’s all in fun’s name. Stacy joking and playing along with Mike Wheeler’s antics? The world must be coming to an end.

Silence follows the two teens like a shadow as they walk so casually slow to where their friends are. “Stacy?” Mike calls.

“Hmm?” Stacy hums, distracted by the sickly sweet candy in her mouth.

While looking down at their feet tapping through the pavement, Vans and Puma next to each other, Mike says lowly in almost a whisper that Stacy almost doesn’t catch, “Promise you’ll try.”

Try to what? Stacy has no idea at all. Still, she finds herself responding after a while just before reaching their friends chatting in a comfortable line across the sidewalk, “Promise.”

#well shit dont break promises sis #hawkins series #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things series #mike wheeler imagine #steve harrington’s sister #mike wheeler x oc #mike wheeler x reader #eleven #will byers #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #mike wheeler #bestfriend!max #finn wolfhard #joe keery #finn wolfhard imagine

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ae32156 · 2 years

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Bitches And Hoes

Link to Story on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/221064725/write/1159140301

Words: 906

Storyline: While shopping with James, Summer finds out years ago James and Rick wrote a sexually explicit song while drunk. Since then, no one in Paradise Hill will give them peace.

James lifts his head up toward the speaker in the store. Summer follows and watches as he sighs. "They're still playing that?" She tries to listen close hearing what could have been a younger version of James' voice back when it was much higher. "Yes, Summer. That is me and Rick." He says lowering his head and walking toward the eggs.

She follows him until he shivers.

"Do you really want to know? Fine."

He hands her a large carton of eggs and looks at his phone. "Let's get milk, then get out. So, the story is, We were drunk. We just turned twenty. We were dumb and had the week off because I got into an accident prior. Well, I had a guitar, and he owned a kazoo."

"Did you know how to play?" Summer asks when James drops the milk into her other hand, casually looking back to make sure she has the two safely in her arms. "Well, no. I just got the guitar, and we got the kazoo from a birthday party in fifth grade."

"Wow, you've known each other for that long? I wouldn't have assumed." The corner of his mouth turns upward and suddenly he's leading her to the cash register. She never thought someone could hold a friendship for over a decade. Then again, The Stars almost made it that long.

"You see, the thing is it's an annoying song, but everyone in town thought it was hilarious. John loves tormenting us with it but then again, we start it most of the time."

"I wouldn't say you start it, but... well, you know. Why don't you recreate the song? It may give them something else to tease over, plus, it may be fun." She says decidedly so, placing the eggs down. "That's not a bad idea."

James held his guitar in front of Rick. He strummed the strings, then looked up. "Are you in tune?" "Nah, I just need a drink and I'll be ready." Rick messed with the camera, then turned over to James with the kazoo sticking out of his mouth, then he kicks the bottle over to him.

"Are we sure we want to do this?"

"Huh, don't ask me that. You know I'm gonna change my mind! Ask the Magic Eight Ball!" James throws over the ball, the magic ball of answers... or it got them through high school. It's been right 85% of the time! Rick grabs it and shakes it roughly, and from the inside plastic, he sees the blue triangle.

"It is decidedly so." Rick determines as James nods.

"No more asking questions."

They both nod, taking their bottles and chugging them down until they're wobbling. "Turn on the camera," James tells Summer he grabs his guitar as Summer flips the light green.

James silently counts and suddenly starts strumming loudly and off tune. Rick joins in seconds later with a half-blown spit-filled kazoo song. Summer leaned over, holding in her laughter as the two continued singing along to their drunken nightmare.

Rick stood on the bed shrinking his body as the instrument screeches. James joins him as Summer finally shuts the camera off. "Bravo!" She shouts, clapping them while walking over to the bed to help them down. "Be careful." James jumps down, Summer jumps forward, grabbing the guitar before it hits the floor.

James grabs the camera from its stand and wobbles to their computer. Rick follows, tripping over his own feet. "Should I post it?" Summer asks but James just laughs, attempting to shove the cord into the computer. "James, maybe I should?"

James shoves it harder, narrowing his eyebrow in anger, "why isn't it going in?" Holding in her laughter, she pushes his rolling chair to the bed and plugs in the camera. "Are you sure you want to do this? There is no going back."

James slides back typing his password, which seems like a random bunch of numbers and letters, Summer watches confused. She doesn't quite understand how the computer works, but she imagines it's easier than she believes. He changes windows to a platform filled with tiny familiar names. "Summer, type in Bitches And Hoes re- uh- remastered."

"I got this." Rick says pushing over James and typing in 'bitchnees and h0es remaster!!!1'. Well, it was closer than anything else. Rick clicks into submission as Summer covers her mouth to shield her smile. "Well, you did it. Now I think you both should get sleep and we'll see- um. What do you call attention on the internet?"

She puts her hand on them and slides them over to their bed, shutting off the computer.

In the morning, James woke up scratching at his eyes; seeing the computer sitting at the desk, he leans over across the side table to shake Rick awake. "Come on, we gotta see how many views we got." Rick yawns and pushes James away. "Later."

"Get up!" James throws the pillow, throwing himself off the bed and toward the computer. He pushes through his headache as he opens past his password, his social media page is still pulled up. He refreshes the screen and suddenly the post is in front of his eyes, with tiny white numbers building up on the screen. Over a thousand likes and the first comment was from John- it was more shocking than he could even see it. "Bitches And Hoes Remastered was a success!"

#orignal writing #writing #wattpad #summerae #summerblack #ae #short story #writers on tumblr #my writing #music #alcholol #orignal story #originalcharacter #orignal character

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imagineyourstars · 7 years

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a collection of random Enstars headcanons no one asked for

because they might try hard to look cool but they’re actually all dorks

Hokuto won’t play Just Dance until everyone in the room goes through one very long warm up session with him because “the risk of injury is still here”

Leo believes in conspiracy theories and posts obscure videos on Youtube. Whenever Keito tries to prove him wrong, he starts shouting Keito’s “just a disgusting reptilian anyway”.

Hinata once german-supplexed Yuta in the middle of the crowded cafeteria for no valid reason. Yuta then tried to choke him.

Chiaki loves to hold tokusatsu viewing sessions (actually just sleepovers) at his house with the other Ryuseitai members, but anyone interested in tokusatsu is also invited !!

Shinobu introduced Souma to Naruto. Sometimes they can be seen watching it together on days when they don’t have practice.

Arguing with Wataru is extremely dangerous. He’s likely to just bombard you with doves and roses until you run away in fear, but Keito unfortunately never learns.

Sometimes the Ra*bits member can be seen crying together, and no one really knows why. Turns out Hajime started crying and everyone else followed suit because they can’t stand seeing each other cry. (Nazuna will deny this.)

Hinata once hid to scare Yuta in the school’s corridor, but he accidentally scared Shu (who happened to be passing by) instead. Shu fainted immediately.

Mika can’t make puns or jokes. He keeps forgetting half of them and Tsumugi doesn’t have the heart to tell him they just don’t work like that.

Natsume might have thrown Tsumugi out a window once. He just smiles smugly when he’s asked about this.

Leo sometimes screams wordlessly for a solid minute. The other Knights members aren’t even concerned about this anymore. Tsukasa theorized it might be Leo’s way to deal with his stress.

Mika always ends up saying “you too” when a waiter tells him to enjoy his meal. He then replays the scene in his head for days and can’t sleep at night anymore.

Wataru was forbidden from bringing his pet birds to class, so now he hides them in his pockets. They can be seen peering out sometimes, but whenever someone comments on that, he just blinds them with pepper spray.

Adonis needs ten minutes to send a single text. And it’s still full of typos.

When Knights go shopping together, Leo gets in the cart and Izumi pushes him around. He always says he won’t do it next time, but when Leo jumps in the cart he ends up pushing him anyway.

Keito gets angry at soybeans. They make him fly into rage mode. Wataru loves putting them everywhere in the student council office.

Rei can sleep with his eyes open and that’s exactly what he does whenever someone from the student council comes to address his unexplained school absences.

When Makoto trips and falls in a crowded place, Subaru immediately goes lying next to him so that he’ll feel less awkward.

Kanata once showed up in class wearing a wetsuit and using an oxygen tank and no one dared say anything about it.

Sagami-sensei joined Hinata and Subaru in trying to play pranks on Keito, but they never work. It’s like he has a sixth sense to detect them.

Tetora and Chiaki tried to bake a cake together once. Next thing they knew, the entire school was being evacuated because of the explosion they caused.

Leo won’t stop rambling about cryptids. He wants to go on a cryptid sighting tour with the rest of Knights and is currently looking into buying plane tickets for five. The other Knights guys don’t know how serious he is about this.

Adonis cries from watching animal videos on Youtube. He then sends them to everyone he knows because he recently discovered the “share” feature.

Koga’s that one person who spends an hour styling his hair to go out when it’s rainy and windy outside, so it’s ruined in five minutes and he’ll sulk all day.

Yuzuru : “could I please make an announcement ? I seem to have lost my young master” Store clerk : “sure” Yuzuru, in the mic : “goodbye you little shit”

Shu sometimes argues with people because he doesn’t like their clothes. The only other person to do this is Hiyori.

The oddballs like to play Mario Party together. They all agree that Kanata is the sorest loser.

Eichi loves to go grocery shopping. There’s so much stuff !! A lot of people !! Automated cash registers !! He’s so happy there !!

Mitsuru once ate a handful of dirt just because Tomoya said he shouldn’t.

Mao and Makoto’s greatest passion is reproducing poses from Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure together.

Hokuto : “what is the light music club even doing ??” [koga barking, furious kazoo and off-key opera singing can be heard from their club room] Mao : “oh they’re always doing that on improv Thursday”

Leo won’t stop licking stuff he’s not supposed to lick, including but not limited to paper, cats and people’s hands. When Izumi asked him about this, he explained he needs it to “feel their energy”.

Whenever someone in the academy needs help, Madara, Chiaki and Kuro physically fight to determine who gets to save them.

Kanata once attempted to drown Souma in the school’s fountain. Kaoru laughed, so Kanata drowned Kaoru too.

When it gets snowy on the school grounds, huge snowball fights happen. Somehow, Eichi and Keito end up being most often targeted. They still claim they don’t understand why.

Koga’s twitter feed is 99% dogs and 1% Kaoru’s selfies. He keeps blocking him, but Kaoru steals his phone to unblock himself and like all his selfies.

#ensemble stars headcanons #enstars #ensemble stars #headcanons #imagine #mod mademoiselle #i don't know what i'm doing but ??? those all sound canon

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cloudydreamforecast · 3 years

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Swing Away: Partial Draft (01/21)

“Your destination is ahead on the right,” chimed the artificial British woman living inside the dashboard. The dry, dusty summer heat hung heavy upon the nondescript strip mall. The sun was beginning to set, but the heat lingered as Howard and Jann Becker haphazardly parked their Range Rover. Only ¾ of the car landed with space.

“Fuck, I’m so excited for this party. It’s Jerry’s dirty thirty! We’ve gotta make it as trashy as humanly possible,” shouted Howard, trying to make himself heard over the trunk-rattling bass.

“Don’t worry, it’s gonna be ridiculous. My friend Cindy told me about this dollar store a couple weeks back, she said it’s just… weird and cringey and perfect. Do you wanna kill this?” Jann replied, offering the her husband the butt of their shared cigarette.

Howard shooed away the smoke and got out of the car. He surveyed the shopping center and thought to himself, ‘Wow, what a dump.’ Only about half of the storefronts had signage, only about half of those signs appeared to be working, and the remaining shops windows had been boarded up and covered in graffiti, ranging from hearts containing names to blatant hate speech.

The couple approached the shop, aptly named BuckAPop. “Doesn’t look all that weird to me,” said Howard, “just like any other dollar store really. I wonder if it’s one of those dollar stores where things are actually a dollar or if it’s just cheap.” Jann opened the door and gestured towards her husband, bowing overdramatically. She followed him into the shop and they both stood there, dumbfounded.

“It’s… perfect,” they exhaled in unison.

The shop lived up to Cindy’s recommendation. Every corner, shelf and display seemed to be covered in cobwebs, both the fake kind used as halloween decorations and legitimate indicators of disrepair. Every single fluorescent bulb flickered, suggesting that at any second, someone wearing a mask could jump and slit your throat. The security cameras were hopelessly outdated, not the little black domes so commonplace these days, but the kind that resembled home camcorders and the wires showed visible fraying. Despite the state of decay that appeared to consume the entire shop, the shelves were completely stocked and to answer Howards question; yes, everything cost 1 dollar. Perhaps most concerning was the fact there did not seem to be a soul inhabiting the establishment. The silence was palpable and the couple wouldn’t be surprised to see a tumbleweed rolling down the isles.

Howard and Jann smiled wide, grabbed a cart, and began strolling through the store. Streamers and a pink birthday banner: check. Tiny party hats: check. Snap-on bracelets: check. Toys vaguely resembling the most recent marvel films: check. Kazoos that unfurl and other assorted noise makers: check. 3 liter bottles of generic soda, oversalted potato chips that cut in the inside of your mouth, and ripoff Girl Scout cookies: check, check, and check. Quickly their cart began to fill with all the necessary accessories for a trashy birthday party, but they felt that something was still missing. Then, they saw it.

At the back corner of the store, near the small tubs of laundry detergent and bundles of hangers, was a barren endcap. Top shelves, empty. Bottom shelves, empty. Yet, there at the center, sat a pinata. If you pictured a pinata in you mind, this is what you would see. In the shape of a donkey, or perhaps a llama, with a color scheme consisting of pink, blue and yellow pastels.

“Holy shit. This is the icing on the cake. A pinata! And from a dollar store no less, so I’m sure the candy inside is garbage,” said Howard with a chuckle under his voice. “I think that’s it then, yeah?”

“We can probably call it. With this and the REAL party favors at the house, I’d say we’re ready to go babe,” Jann answered as she pushed their overflowing cart up to the cash register. Still, no one was there. No staff, no other customers, not even an aesthetically fitting cockroach. There was a small bell on the checkout counter with a sticky note affixed that read ‘RING THREE TIMES FOR SERVICE’.

“Are you fucking kidding me? This place doesn’t cease to amaze,” laughed Jann.

She rang the bell thrice with force.

From behind them came an ominous squeak of old hinges. They turned to see an obscured office door cover in outdated corporate propaganda slowly swing open, and what appeared to be a child of only 6 or 7 years emerged. But… this child, dear god, this child. The fact that he was employed at all was terrifying enough, but he also looked to be severely abuse. His hair grew in grey patches along the side of his head, with the top of his skull being entirely bald. The top of his head and most of his face was covered in deep dark red scarring, visibly fresh and tender to sensation. His face also showed signs of premature aging, with his skin sagging beneath his eyes, or perhaps more correctly, eye. In his left eyesocket sat a black glass replacement, piercing and omniscient. He walked using a knotted wooden can and slowly hobbled over to the cash register, finally climbing onto a stool and facing the now emotionally distraught/slightly entertained young couple.

“What can I do for you today?” hissed the child in a raspy baritone.

#writing #horror #intro #short story #ideas #practice #mywriting

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