#gremlin fucking creature. man who is just an object

[sasswonfp]

This joke came to me in a fit of laughter (ALT description provided :3!)

#superman #batman #the flash #flash #wally west #bruce wayne #clark kent #justice leauge unlimited #justice league #abruptly I was hit with this joke when I made one abt myself being always 2 seconds away from crying and realised it worked oh so well #i had so much fun drawing this #esp bc i was really trying to find a good medium between my style and the jlu style #super blocky but also a bit more realistic than jlu #batman is so shape and i fucking love it #literally i just drew his outline i didn't even bother with the rest of it #gremlin fucking creature. man who is just an object #this is my first time ever doing like an actual attempt at dc- #homegrown art

[ennieasys]

We are re-watching all the star wars movies bc we forgot almost all of it and here are our reactions to Episode II The Clone Wars. Everything Kat says is in bold (and trust me she says a lot) and CW for language, inappropriate/sexual jokes and references and a whole lot of gayness. Enjoy!

Little bitch (Anakin) jumps out of flying cars often?

Yes yes use your mindfuckery

Istg is little bitch a perv?

Am I the only one who thinks that dream scene was weirdly erotic?

Boba is but a babe

Run dilf run (jango fett)

Oh my fuck Natalie Portman's a cutie

Asshole (Obi-wan) you don't go in the same hole as another man it's just not polite

*Anakin leaves* Oh no, Padme's all alone, who will take care of her?

Oh it's the man I thought was an object in the first movie (viceroy) - Tate

She does not have the right to be that sexy

Oh shit little bitch did a fuckin massacre

I can be a better boyfriend than him~

Little bitch don't be a villain I didn't and I had worse, wait is that unempathetic

*Idk Padme does something hot apparently* Nice one gorgeous

Did jar jar just say the f slur?

The Jedi are not very good at their goddamn job

Oh so that's how the sith got the clones! - Tate

Oh shit she looks fuckin hot 🥵 (Padme in the white suit)

Ew the walls are gremlins

Poor c3 he doesn't deserve this madness - Tate

Kill him so I can get his gf

*Ani gets captured* THIS IS WHY U NEED A LIGHTSABER

*Padme says I love you to Ani* NOOOOOOO

Ugh imagine if Padme had a high quality gf this movie would be so much better. I actually thought that the queen and the handmaiden were in love in the first movie. - Nic

*They get chained* BDSM? This was unexpected

*Padme is picking her handcuffs* SEE SHE'S ACTUALLY BEING USEFUL WHILE UR SITTING THERE LOOKING UGLY!!!

*Anakin rides the creature* I wish I was Anakin and Padme was the beast

*Droids come* oh fuck murder cubes they're literally circles

Hot man is on fire (Samuel L. Jackson) you like difs? Yes.

Oh fuck is daddy fett gonna die? sighs I wish she'd call me daddy Oh shit he did die.

R2 is the best character. -Nic how dare you disrespect my queen like that

Oh shit it's sexy blue lady (Aayla Secura apparently?) u cheating on Padme? She has a boyfriend I can look!

The clones are still ass at shooting though.

*Baby fett with with Jango’s helmet* now that's childhood trauma!

Ick, am I the only one who hates the the young Padawan thing? It's like demeaning.

Do the Jedi know they're practicing slavery? Cause that's a no-no in my book

Bitch, they destroy the death star in like the first movie. That isn't that ultimate.

*Obi-wan says Don't let your feelings get the best of you!* Wow u really are an asshole

JEDI HAVE ELECTRIC FINGERS??? I have electric fingers Kat! - primary caretaker

Why is everything Ani does weirdly erotic?

You had that lightsaber for 2 seconds. How did you break it already???

Oh shit green grandaddy (yoda) is here

I guarantee someone has made a compilation of Ani erotically moaning

The name tyranus sucks.

Oh shit THAT'S A LOT OF SLAVERY

*Anakin and Padme get married* wow that was fast Kat cries in background u knew this was gonna happen at some point cries louder

#lgbtq+ #queer #did #did osdd #osdd system #osdid #did system #osddid #polyamory #wlw #wlw ns/fw #wlw nsft #sapphic #lesbianism #sapphic yearning #lesbians #sapphism #mlm #mlm yearning #mlm thoughts #gay thoughts #gay mlm #gay yearning #star wars #anakin skywalker #attack of the clones #hayden christensen #padme amidala #star wars padme #padme skywalker

[scatterbrainedgremlin-writesshit]

Of the multitudes of fic ideas I’ve had, one of them is for Nexo Knights and is Lance centric (mans getting development. It’s what he deserves) and when I told my friend about it they said it reminded them of HTTYD. It has one OC, her name is Aizzayd, and she’s a fucking gremlin child. I also have a head cannon that any mythical creatures mentioned in Nexo Knights (aside from unicorns) are considered endangered and under protection by order of the royal family. Dragons especially since poachers tend to go for the babies instead of adults cause they haven’t fully developed their scales yet, and the elder dragons are considered dieties to some towns. 

Basic plot goes like this (under cut cause it’s pretty long)

Aizzayd’s parents were both mayors of an island town and had a deal with the nine elder dragons (each dragon controls an element, will be explained later) where they would give some wealth and fish for safety. Sometime after Aizzayd was born, shit hit the fan and everyone had to evacuate to a coastal town they had a trade deal with and Aizzayd’s dad, named Aries, gave her to the dragons to protect her. She pair bonds with a baby sky dragon named Coisu who refuses to leave her side.

16 years later she meets Lance after he accidentally gets mistaken for just another shiny object by one of the elder dragons and after some banter he brings her back to the Fortrex where she becomes absolutely chatoic. Season 2 happens, she gets kidnapped by Jestro, but she’s so rambunctious that he gives her back (she still scares him even after season 2 ends).

During this time the dragons reveal that Aizzyad wasn’t actually found orphaned and was given to them by her father who is still alive and in his 30′s or 40′s. She has an identity crisis where she lays on the floor in the holo training room listening to the Nexo Knights equivalent to MCR. The knights all agree that’d be best to try and find her dad, and they do, and he’s happy to see that she has died in some ridiculous fashion.

After season 2 when everything settles down and before the knights start up their side hustles, Aizzyad and Coisu get shot down just outside the town her dad is now mayor of and she gets kidnapped by poachers (they didn’t kill Coisu because they didn’t have the means with them). Aries finds Coisu injured and without Aizzyad and immediately assumes the worst, and contacts the knights.

Knights arrive to a panicked Aries and he explains what’s going on. Lance, who tried very hard not to get attached to the tiny gremlin but is now attached to said tiny gremlin, is the first one to say they need to get her back (the elder dragons approve).

This is all I’m putting cause I’m tired, but I will post a part 2 with the characters involved and some memes that my brain has decided to make up before posting this.

#nexo knights #why must my brain do this to me #im gonna have fun with this but also sob aggressivly #i will definitely post parts on here but i dont have a schedule #very sparratic #Lance Richmond fucking deserves some more character development #and if that means adopted a feral child then so be it #Dragons in Knighton AU

[drwcn]

《Without Envy》- concubine/sleeper agent!wwx & prince!lwj 

[story board 1] [story board 2]   [story board 3]  [story board 4] 

long post: story board 5 →

Lan Wangji, as it turned, was a true gentleman. This was problematic for Wei Wuxian, who was tasked with getting close to him, because Hanguang-wang’s upstanding morals being rather unimpeachable rendered Wei Wuxian’s initial seduction efforts entirely unsuccessful. 

 Lan Wangji straight up ignored him. Whenever he came to visit Jiang Yanli it was always to speak with her and not Wei Wuxian. It was like Wei Wuxian, or A-Xian as he was known, did not exist to the prince. Whenever Wei Wuxian tried to “get close” to him, aka, making himself available to serve tea, meals and such, Lan Wangji would always dismiss him, or tell him to wait outside so Lan Wangji and Jiang Yanli could dine together alone. Needless to say, Wei Wuxian was getting increasingly frustrated. Entirely unbeknownst to Wei Wuxian however was the fact that Lan Wangji had noticed him from the start and was just trying to stop himself from doing something inappropriate. Truth is, Lan Wangji first saw Wei Wuxian at Jiang-fu during one of Lan Wangji’s visits to finalize the marriage between himself and Jiang Yanli. 

It was the dogs’ barking that got Lan Wangji’s attention first. That, and a young man’s agitated cursing.

“Fuck - ow! Princess that was not nice! I’m going to turn you into barbeque if you don’t cut this shi - Ow! Jasmine, give it here!” 

Lan Wangji’s personal guards Guo Ai and Sun Ting made to investigate the source of the ruckus and to tell off whoever dared to be so impertinent and disrespectful in a marquis’s manor, but Lan Wangji stopped them with a subtle gesture.  

Slowly, he approached the round archway looking into the garden and saw by the shrubs a handsome young man cradling a fuzzy tiny thing while trying his darnedest to fend off two relentless hounds. “Shoo, shoo, go bother your master!”

But the dogs wanted to play. Their bushy tails wagged happily.  

Eventually, the young man tired of the over enthusiastic canines, picked up a stick off the ground, and tossed it far over the garden walls. The dogs took off running, and he and the little creature he protected were allowed a moment’s peace. 

“Little tutu, it’s okay, the mean dogs are gone now. Don’t be afraid.” 

It was only then that Lan Wangji saw that the furry round thing was a small bunny, probably driven from its burrow by the aforementioned hounds that belonged to Jiang-xiao-gongzi. He watched, slightly transfixed, as the young man lifted the bunny and gently booped its nose against his own, his comely face scrunching up adorably in the process. 

So when Wei Wuxian arrived at the prince’s estate with Jiang Yanli, Lan Wangji cursed his luck. He had no intentions of becoming attracted or attached to anyone in his harem. His marriages were political games. Everything he did in his harem was calculated. The last thing he needed was for the Jins to think they could sink their claws into him. So he kept company with all his concubines equally, just to maintain the balance. Lan Wangji did not want Jin Ziyan to be the only man in his harem, which was why when Qin Su offered him Mo Xuanyu, he did not refuse. It was fortunate that Mo Xuanyu himself seemed eager to serve too, so Lan Wangji did not have to grapple with ethics there.  He was doing this for his country; everyone knew this. As long as he kept to his duties and divided his attentions equally, there would be trouble in his harem. Except...Lan Wangji wanted to see ‘A-Xian’ again. The more he wanted, the more he made himself keep his distance. He recognized the power dynamic that existed between this servant and himself, and that if he were to ask, A-xian was not really in a position to refuse. Besides, Jiang Yanli made no indications that she wanted her A-Xian to serve Lan Wangji. In fact, she seemed quite protective of him, always looking out for him wherever she could. She practically treated him like a little brother than a servant. As such, Lan Wangji was happy with the way things were. He could live with never knowing A-Xian more intimately. In fact, he did not want A-Xian to be ordered to serve him, or find out that A-Xian was just like every other man and woman in his harem, there to curry favours with him. It would be a shame if he turned out to be just another flower in the garden, another player in this game they played.  

Of course Wei Wuxian read this whole situation as: that little bastard Lan Wangji doesn’t like me. Xue Yang was charged with being Wei Wuxian’s correspondence between Gusu and Qishan but ended up just being the guy Wei Wuxian complained to.  —“Is this Hanguang-wang truly a paragon of virtues???” Wei Wuxian raged. “Aren’t princes supposed to be lechers? Wen Chao certainly is a sleeze. Wen Xu could be too for all we know. I’m young, fit, attractive and available. I know he likes men so why not me? He sleeps with Mo Xuanyu all the time apparently …Is Mo Xuanyu more attractive than me?!” Xue Yang: >_> God I miss murders. 

Wei Wuxian’s “opportunity” came when Jiang Yanli fell mysteriously ill about three months after she married Lan Wangji. When the physicians were left scratching their heads, Wei Wuxian quickly took the matter into his own hands. He needed Jiang Yanli alive; if she died before he made an impression on Lan Wangji, he could be sent away back to Jiang-fu and threaten his entire operation. What’s more, Jiang Yanli had been extremely kind to him in the last two years since he arrived at Gusu. She truly was the perfect lady; he would hate to see her suffer.  Through some crafty investigations, Wei Wuxian discovered that the cause of Jiang Yanli’s illness was a slow poison being laced into her food by Jin Ziyan’s orders. The motive of his actions were obvious enough; ever since Jiang Yanli married in, Lan Wangji seemed to be showing her extra favour, favours which he never distributed unevenly prior to her entering his household. Jin Ziyan did not want Jiang Yanli as a competition. She was a marquess’s dichu daughter, much higher in rank than either Qin Su or Luo Qingyang, and therefore posed serious threat to becoming Lan Wangji’s legal spouse. In a way, she was Jin Ziyan’s biggest competitor, and he couldn’t have that. What Jin Ziyan didn’t know was that Lan Wangji visited Jiang Yanli so much because he wanted to catch glimpses of Wei Wuxian, even though he dismissed Wei Wuxian from the room every time he saw him (the man was clearly a masochist). Wei Wuxian managed to sniff out the poison before it could cause lasting damages, but the effect of it was going on for long enough that Jiang Yanli still had an early term miscarriage before she even knew she was pregnant. Wei Wuxian, incensed by Jiang Yanli’s suffering, was ready to expose Jin Ziyan, but was ordered not to by Wen Zhuliu. ‘We still need Jin Ziyan’ was his reasoning. Still, Wei Wuxian managed to tip off the investigators such that they detected and put an end to the poisoning, but the culprit was ultimately never caught. As this played out, Wei Wuxian realized that now was his chance to get close to Lan Wangji. With Jiang Yanli recuperating...surely the Jiang family would want someone else of their clan to serve Lan Wangji in her place, someone who could keep Lan Wangji’s attention but would not replace Jiang Yanli’s place in the harem. It did not take much to lead Yu Ziyuan to the same conclusion. To ensure that he would have ample time with Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian secretly slipped a special sedative into Jiang Yanli’s food and drink to mimic the symptoms of a slow recovery. The sedative was one of Qishan’s secret formulations and could not be detected by Gusu’s finest doctors. But Jiang Yanli, bless her heart, did not want the boy who she’d come to see as a little brother to be used like an object. "A-niang, I don't want to force A-Xian to do things he doesn't want to. I will get better, dianxia will not abandon me." — Yu Ziyuan tsked, "Silly girl, serving Lan Wangji in your stead is his entire purpose for coming with you. Every family must plan for something like this; someone to hold onto Lan Wangji's interest while you're indisposed. Men are fickle, child. You need time to recover and someone will need to remind Hanguang-wang that you still matter when you’re ready again. We cannot let him forget you. Think of what this would mean for our clan." Much to Yu Ziyuan’s delight, Lan Wangji came to check on Jiang Yanli while she was visiting, and Madam Yu had no qualms making hints that it would be the Jiang family’s honour if Hanguang-wang allowed ‘A-Xian’ to serve him while Yanli recovered. Wei Wuxian did not protest. Why would he? This was his orchestration after all, but when he dared raise his gaze from the floor to look at Lan Wangji, he detected a hint of something in Lan Wangji’s face…something like disappointment. Wei Wuxian relayed this to Xue Yang and the other evil gremlin sucked on a candied apricot and said with a roll of his eyes： —“You’re so dense, shixiong, tsk. Men like Lan Wangji could have any man or woman he wants. If you go along with Madam Yu’s orders, you’ll just to be like everyone else, another ambitious servant trying to socially advance. He’ll fuck you and forget you within a blink of an eye.” — Wei Wuxian sipped his liquor and grimaced. “Fine, what do you suggest I do then? — Xue Yang smirked, “Oh, haven’t you heard? Men like roses with thorns. When you’re brought to him tonight, don’t play along. Don’t humour him. Refuse him.” — Wei Wuxian： >_> Is this how you got those Daoist priests in bed with you? — Xue Yang smirked shamelessly, “Worked, innit?”

Listen, Lan Wangji was fully prepared to have some emotionless sex with Wei Wuxian okay? Boy was prepared to just go through the motions. He was disappointed to know that A-Xian turned out to be no better than any other servant in his harem: eager to climb his bed.

Being a concubine was stupid work, Wei Wuxian realized belatedly. After dinner, Jiang Yanli bid him goodbye with worried eyes as the momos and gugus of Hanguang-fu dragged him away to be bathed and prepped for the prince’s enjoyment later that night. (gugu, momo - older female servants)

Wei Wuxian was not a dirty person - sure, he worked hard, but he bathed regularly - they did not have to scrub that roughly. As they practically scrapped off a layer of skin, the momos rattled on and on about how he should “conduct” himself in the presence of dianxia and how he should position himself to best please him. 

What the actual fuck. Wei Wuxian resisted the urge to pull a face. Did the ladies get the same banal talk? How fucking boring was the sex around here? Wei Wuxian wasn’t born yesterday alright? He knew how to fuck.  ...Well fine, he didn’t, but he and Xue Yang had sucked each other off once or twice, so that should count for something. 

Once the attendants were satisfied with the state of him - hair brushed, skin cleaned and lotioned, callouses removed - they rolled him in a large full-body sized blanket, placed him in a sedan and ordered the servants to carry him to Lan Wangji’s chamber. 

Wei Wuxian tried not to make an exasperated grimace when the servants literally picked him up like a log and deposited him on the prince’s large bed.

Fucking...seriously? 

He did not remember this bullshit when zhangjie married in...but then again Jiang Yanli did marry in. There was a ceremony and everything. Lan Wangji was very respectful that night, bowing to her before lifting her veil as a gentleman ought to. So what the fuck is this barbaric treatment? Just as he pondered on these questions, the tulle canopy parted, and Lan Wangji’s handsome face and broad chest came into view. Undressed to his inner most layer of robes and his ink black hair let loose, he looked very much like a man ready to ravish his new concubine, but somehow, Wei Wuxian could not detect a trace of interest on that jade-like face. 

Despite knowing this was all an act, just a means to an end, Wei Wuxian shivered when Lan Wangji reached for the edge of the blanket that encased him. 

He pulled the blankets closer, shrinking deeper inside. 

“Don’t be afraid,” said Lan Wangji. “I won’t hurt you.” 

Time to act, Wei Wuxian. Give it your best shot. 

“I’m not afraid.”  “Then why do you hide?”  Wei Wuxian waited a meaningful second before meeting Lan Wangji’s gaze dead on and said, “Because I don’t want to.”  Nonplussed, Lan Wangji raised an elegant eye brow in return. “Oh? Is that so? Or are those just words? Perhaps you've confused what kind of place a harem is. If you do not want to, why are you here?”

Is my act not convincing enough or is this stupid asshole so confident in his attractiveness that he thinks everyone must automatically want to fuck him? Slightly ticked off now, Wei Wuxian sat up, still holding the blanket to his chest and retorted hotly, “I am not confused, dianxia. Perhaps you are unable to comprehend the idea that someone as lowly as a servant would refuse when given the opportunity to ascend in rank, but nevertheless, that doesn’t change my position. I don't want to. I am here because Lianfang-jun appointed me; there was hardly any room in that decision for me to argue. If you are determined to have me, I will not resist, because I understand my place. But I am a person, not a thing or a broodmare for you breed. I have some dignity left, and at the very least, before you...before you hold me down and fuck me, I want you to know."

Wei Wuxian half wondered if his act had gone a little overboard. The expletives maybe were just a tad too dramatic, but then again...   ...seeing how Lan Wangji's entire stance shifted, maybe not. 

Lan Wangji withdrew his hand. He had mistaken Wei Wuxian’s initial unwillingness as coquettish posturing, but the heat in those dark, bright eyes could not be faked. 

“Those words could get you into a lot of trouble when spoken to the wrong person. Have the momos not taught you the rules?” 

Wei Wuxian squared his shoulders. “They have, but I place trust in Hanguang-wang’s reputation, that you are a true gentleman and would not force me against my will.” Then, just as he practiced, Wei Wuxian lowered his eyes. “I am a servant, your servant, and I know it is my duty to serve you in any way you command me, but I -...please find other use of me, dianxia, but not this.” 

 He startled a little when a warm hand found purchase under his chin and lifted up his face. Lan Wangji inspected him wordlessly with those cold, sharp eyes, searching for lies, for pretense. Wei Wuxian held his breath, praying he won’t be found out, but eventually, when the prince and his calculation deemed him good enough, he let go. 

“Very well.” 

Lan Wangji fetched a pair of clean inner robes and trousers from the wardrobe and handed them to Wei Wuxian. “Get dressed and move over.” Without waiting for Wei Wuxian to respond, he sat himself down on the edge of the bed and began to remove his socks and shoes. 

Wei Wuxian moved quickly, shrugging on the robes and tied it in place before shoving the trousers under the covers to try and pulling them up his legs. “You’re...you’re not leaving?” 

Lan Wangji glared at him over his shoulder. “This is my room, my bed. Why should I leave?” 

Right. Right.

“But you’re not...sending me away?” 

Lan Wangji frowned as though questioning his intelligence. “Would you like me to send you away? I should think that would reflect badly on you and your mistress.”   That did give Wei Wuxian pause. “Uh, well –”   “Your declining to be my bedfellow does not impede my fulfilling my side of the arrangement. You will leave in the morning, and the others will think that I found you pleasing enough to keep you the whole night. That should give Jiang-fu’ren and the Yunmeng Jiang clan sufficient face."   “I could sleep on the floor.” 

“Do you want to sleep on the floor?” Lan Wangji swung his legs onto the bed and arranged the blankets to his liking. “The doors are never locked. Servants and sentinels must be allowed in to check on me during the night for security purposes. It would not bode well if they found you lying on the floor.” 

Right, yeah that would defeat the whole purpose. 

“Oh.” 

Lan Wangji lay down and crossed his hands over his chest. “Lie down, sleep. I have morning court assembly, and I’m tired. If you’re going to stay, don’t be a disturbance.” 

Feeling like he’d lost all semblance of control in this situation, Wei Wuxian awkwardly laid himself down beside Lan Wangji. The bed was big enough for the two of them that there was space in between even when both of them lay flat on their backs. 

Lan Wangji lifted up just a second to blow out the bedside candle, and then there was total darkness.

Wasn’t I suppose to seduce him? What the fuck is this? Okay...maybe I have no idea how to seduce him...maybe I have no idea how to do anything that’s not straight up strangling him in his sleep. 

Wei Wuxian could feel his heart thudding in his chest, panic coiling tighter and tighter. He almost wished Lan Wangji had ignored his protest and took him, because then it’d be straight forward. As it were, he had no idea how to proceed now. 

Just as Wei Wuxian was being slowly consumed by his maelstrom of thoughts, Lan Wangi suddenly spoke into the dark. 

"I am not a heartless bastard, you should know."

Huh? 

"I never implied that."

“You did.” Lan Wangji gave a little shake of his head. “I do not want this anymore than the others in the harem. You said I treat my women like broodmares, but perhaps you have not considered that Gusu treats me like a stallion."   Wei Wuxian was momentarily speechless.    “Your mistress is very kind and gentle. I am sorry that the child in her belly was lost; I know she very much wanted to be a mother. I see that you are very protective of her, so you should know, I would never hurt her.  Even if she were to never recover her strength, I would not let harm come to her.”   Those words, softly spoken, tugged at Wei Wuxian’s conscience, if not his heartstrings. “Dianxia -”   “Sleep. Good night.”

The next morning Wei Wuxian woke up to knocking on the door. The sun was already high in the sky and the bed was empty of Lan Wangji’s presence.  A group of maids entered carrying a basin of water, towels and clean clothes. Wei Wuxian, dazed, asked, "Where's danxia?" One of the maid giggled. "Dianxia left at dawn to attend morning assembly at the palace. You must not know; he wakes up very early. He said not to wake you, and to let you sleep. He said," The others giggled with her. “He said that you've had a long night."

To the great surprise of everyone, Lan Wangji did not elevate Jiang Yanli’s servant A-Xian to concubine status after the ‘long night’ they had together. Instead he ordered A-Xian to be transferred to his court to be his close-quarter attendant, to serve him in his every day tasks.  Wei Wuxian did not exactly understand why Lan Wangji would make this particularly decision, but he did not complain. After all this was exactly what he wanted, to be close to Lan Wangji and earn his trust.  Lan Wangji, on the other hand, was content to have Wei Wuxian close by, secure in the knowledge ‘A-Xian’ did not wish to spread his legs to socially advance. Perhaps, if he dared to hope, he could finally have someone to speak to in this lonely manor full of people who only saw the crown hanging above his head.

Xue Yang was of the opinion that this was all going to end badly. He was right. 

[next]

#cql #the untamed #wangxian #lan wangji #wei wuxian #cql ficlet #without envy #corie fics

[theskeleton-system]

A Fungus Dangerclaw Masterpost

This is a post about Fungus' relationship with every Grumpus on Snaktooth;

Filbo

•definitely stumbled upon Fungus while looking for Liz

•was initially friendly toward Fungus, until Fungus took it personally and chased Filbo out of the woods, growling and claws beared

•when Fungus inevitably stays in town with the others, Filbo is rightfully so still apprehensive, but as Fungus warms up to him, he warms up to Fungus

•Fungus never learns his name, but knows the word Mayor, so calls him that (it is a constant Filbo Confidence Boost [tm])

Wambus

•would meet Fungus when they'd have come to town

•Fungus has absolutely attacked Wambus, he's the biggest man in town and Fungus believes in fighting for dominance, so he attacks him to become the Alpha of town lol

•Wambus doesnt like to make eye contact with Fungus due to this very event

•Fungus does eventually calm down when Wambus lets them rummage in the farm sometimes; it turns out Fungus is handy for digging holes to plant more crops

•after a while of Fungus trusting Wambus, she starts bringing sticks to the farm and burying them in hopes of growing crops too

•Wambus eventually decides he's adopting them. No arguments.

Beffica

•is morbidly curious of Fungus (that feeling is mutual)

•Beffica has absolutely kept Fungus in her cave out of storms, and so is probably the closest thing to a friend at first to Fungus

•she likes to paint his claws, and he loves to watch her do it, he also loves picking out the colours (pink is his favourite)

•Beffica will sit Fungus down and gossip to them while she paints their nails and brushes their fur, Fungus has no idea what she's saying, but likes to feel included and picks up on some words

•the few words he's learnt from Beff are "Squeeb", "Like", and "OMGee"

•Beffica does understand that Fungus can be dangerous, and she knows when to stop pushing their buttons

Gramble

•Gramble met Fungus in the middle of the night, when they broke into town to steal supplies

•Fungus DIDN'T attack Gramble, only because he's smaller than Fungus and therefore not deemed a threat

•when Fungus stays in town, they become enamored by the barn, and the Bugsnax there (because Fungus refuses to eat them too) and hangs out in the outdoor pen with them

•Fungus inevitably imprints on Gramble and begins following him around and bringing him Bugsnax that are very hard to catch (cheepoofs, grapesketos, lollives, scoopy banoopys) and Gramble is Confused.jpeg

•Gramble learns to trust Fungus when the first fight breaks out at the party (The "that's why your wife left you" Scene) and Fungus defends Gramble, literally standing between him and Wambus

•now Gramble accepts Fungus as family, and is just mildly frightened of them

Wiggle

•with Fungus constantly following Gramble around, it was only a matter of time until they met Wiggle

•Fungus took one look at her and was prepared to fight a bitch, but when Gramble stopped them from attacking her, they stopped being aggressive

•Fungus definitely wants that pink fluffy scarf around Wiggle's neck, but hasn't devised a plan to steal it yet

•Fungus doesnt understand how instruments work, so when Wiggle starts playing her banjo, Fungus is simultaneously frightened and interested

•Fungus begins loving listening to Wiggle's music and starts hitting the ground in percussion with the music

•Wiggle will never pass up on an adoring fan of course, and starts teaching Fungus how to make music, Fungus learns nothing, but is happy to have attention

•Fungus has ended up with the Banjo before, and absolutely tried to eat it

•(Fungus has worn Wiggle's glasses before and was fully prepared to wear them forever)

Triffany

•Triffany would find Fungus in one of the ruins, probably lost

•Triffany would be confused, but curious

•Fungus trusts Triffany quickly, as she's sensible and knows a feral creature when she sees one, so takes her time

•Fungus likes to try and help piece history together with Triffany, but obviously he has no idea what he's ever doing, so he isn't really much help

•Triffany's accent is completely foreign to Fungus, so they can have problems understanding some of her pronunciations, however, they absolutely adore her accent and loves listening to her talk

•Triffany is most likely the Grumpus who brought Fungus to town, probably to show Wambus the creature she adopted, and ask Floofty if any of this makes sense

•Fungus likes to chew on bones Triffany gives him, it helps sharpen his teeth and subdue his pure, feral rage

Cromdo

•Fungus would take a VERY long time to trust Cromdo, due to his sleezy nature

•Fungus absolutely wants whatever Cromdo is selling (because they're a hoarder) but doesn't know of the economy, only knows stick. Fungus will buy material objects with sticks and leaves or Cromdo will die

•a sick part of Cromdo wants to sell Fungus to Floofty for science, but knows that would be the second most illegal thing he's ever done (Grumpus Trafficking is no joke-)

•Fungus would probably want a tie, let's be honest

•to Cromdo, Fungus is like a cat, running around scratching the walls and knocking things off of tables

•Cromdo isn't afraid to scold Fungus, and Fungus will learn to listen in due time

•despite the tension and issues the two have, Fungus does it to show care for Cromdo, everyone knows this but Cromdo

•Fungus likes the word "Pal"

Chandlo

•Chandlo is Fungus' favourite. No questions asked.

•he found Fungus in a tree and brought him home to Snorpy, like gay people do

•"Snorp-dawg, I found a cryptid!"

"you WHAT"

•Fungus appreciates Chandlo so fucking much

•didn't attack for same reason as Gramble (small = not a threat)

•Chandlo likes Fungus because they're a hard-core survivor of the wild, and Chandlo vibes with that

•Fungus originally likes to watch Chandlo work out, finding it fascinating; but eventually starts joining in when Chandlo offers

•Chandlo just wants to keep this feral creature, that is all

•Fungus learns so many words from Chandlo, that he accidentally turns Fungus into a feral version of himself

Snorpy

•Snopry is (rightfully so) terrified of Fungus

•what is it? What's it gender? Why does it barely speak? How much sentience does it have? DOES IT WORK FOR THE GRUMPINATI??!

•but of course, Chandlo wants to keep it and Snorpy can't say no, so he ends up playing babysitter when Chandlo is gone

•Fungus, on the other hand, is enamored. Obviously-

•Fungus understands so little when it comes to Snorpy, all these conspiracies and big words and intricate connections, Fungus has no brain

•Fungus likes to listen though, and likes to look at the conspiracy board (also likes to hoard all the red string lol)

•of course Snorpy warms up to them, mostly when Floofty starts trying to steal them for experiments; Snorpy feels a newfound need to protect this gremlin from his mad scientist sibling

•Fungus just likes the attention

Floofty

•Floofty kidnaps Fungus for experiments (not clickbait)

•I mean, can you blame them? How does Fungus exist? A completely feral Grumpus in a society of modernized, evolved, civilised Grumpuses? They gotta know how Fungus works

•however, Floofty underestimated Fungus' energy, and now they're shouting at a gremlin, who is barking back at them

•Floofty loses so much sleep over keeping Fungus in one place.

•"fascinating...your survival instinct is completely intact- stop chewing my leg."

•Floofty tries to teach Fungus basic language, but learns the next day that Fungus forget everything they learnt

•Fungus doesn't know what to make of Floofty

•Is this good or bad? Friend or foe?

•if Floofty has to hurt Fungus to get what they want, they WILL be attacked (i.e taking blood or testing pain level)

•sometimes Floofty just snaps and throws Fungus into a river to "experiment" if Fungus can swim

•Fungus does like the attention though

Shelda

•Shelda is one of the only Grumpuses that Fungus shows concern and care for OPENLY

•He gives her gifts of sticks and rocks and leaves, and he'll throw a tantrum if she won't take them

•he likes to sit next to her while she meditates so she doesn't get lonely 😳😳

•the only problem with this is that Fungus is easily bored, and will start making noises and bumping rocks together

•and it's very distracting when you're trying to meditate

•But Fungus knows this and tries to behave as best as they can, they wanna make Grandma Shelda happy

•they become a part of Shelda's little fanclub, and listens to her wisdom despite not knowing ANYTHING she's saying

•he pretends he knows, nodding and agreeing all the time

Eggabell

•Eggabell, being a doctor, just wants to get her hands on Fungus to take care of him

•I mean, he's messy, and covered in mud and sticks and leaves

•he probably has the Grumpus equivalent of mange

•he DEFINITELY has fleas

•and she just wants to sit them down and clean them up

•but Fungus isn't having it, and is actually a little scared of Eggabell, as they don't know why she wants them to stay still

•Fungus will learn to trust her, and let her take care of the fleas and rabies and mange

•and when he does, he will never leave her side afterwards. He'll recognise she made him feel better and constantly want her attention

•He may get a little distracting for her sometimes, but she knows he means well

•also, because Fungus is a good listener, Eggabell airs her problems out to them, she knows they don't know what she's saying, but it's nice to rant to them while they eat a whole tree, bit by bit

Lizbert

•there isn't many opportunities where Liz and Fungus would interact sadly, however, I feel like if they did they would get along far too well

•Liz bringing Fungus on adventures around the island? Fungus showing Liz little cave systems they've found so she has shortcuts around the areas? Makes my heart ache-

•Fungus wants the hat, give her the hat Liz-

•because Liz is such a simple name, it would most likely be the only one Fungus would learn

•I can imagine Liz getting distracted from studying Bugsnax and instead studying Fungus, until Filbo or Egg reminds her she has more important things to do

•Fungus is incredibly agile, and I can imagine them scaling trees or cliffs and finding a safer route for Liz to take

•Fungus is Liz's emotional support adventure dog

The Journalist

This would be in terms of if Fungus was a character you'd meet;

•You would meet Fungus in Sugarpine Woods, but somewhere far away from Chandlo and Snorpy.

•Fungus would flee from you once spotted (sorta like the Snaxsquach, but not at certain times).

•You would then have a quest to ask around to see if anyone knew what this Grumpus was (and you would receive a resounding "no").

•The puzzle would then be figuring out how to cohearse Fungus into trusting you, which would be with sticks and rocks, making a pile of them to bait Fungus from hiding.

•Once you would have their trust, you would still have quests to complete before they move from their spot and follow you to town, this would include collecting more sticks and rocks, and finding Bugsnax so Fungus can have friends.

•They'd communicate these quests very poorly, you would probably have to rely on the quest descriptions to figure out what the objective is.

•After enough errands, Fungus would make a happy noise and start following you around. Then, if you walk into town, you approach Filbo and he takes Fungus off your hands.

•When you return to Snaxburg, it's in anarchy as Fungus has gotten out of control. Your next objective is "survive". Eventually, through sticks, rocks and leaves, you calm Fungus down enough for them to live in Snaxburg without killing anyone.

•However, some side-quests would involve Fungus, and the other residents having to deal with them now.

I had this neat idea that all this is optional, you don't have to even do the main quest for Fungus because they weren't supposed to be part of the expedition and know no one. So why interview them, not like you can anyway. You can escape Snaktooth with all the normal residents and leave Fungus on the island, then their fate would be left unknown (but man I'd feel guilty for it 😟).

#this shit became an essay im so sorry #i guess i needed to info dump #four hours of writing... #watch this flop #and then watch me cry lol #Bugsnax #Grumpus #Grump-sona #Grumpus OC #Fungus Dangerclaw #i hope you guys like this though 👉👈

[heyitsani]

I Keep My Eyes Wide Open All the Time Chapter 9

Word Count: 5634

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Major character death, Mentions of past rape/non-con (eventually)

Pairing: Jason Todd/Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne/Jon Kent

Notes: This is the end of our journey for this particular life.  I have more lives planned and a bit to go with the present time on this story, but this past life itself has run it’s course.  Thank you so much for reading this monster of a fic.

If you have not read When You Move I Move, this one won’t really make much sense.  So you can read that here: WYMIM

You can also read this chapter on AO3 here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian woke slowly, consciousness coming back to him bit by bit as the memories faded to background noise as most memories did.  He laid there, staring at the ceiling as they shifted into place as though they had always been there.  His mind felt…complete in a way he hadn’t known it wasn’t before.  And though he knew it was only one lifetime that he had been made aware of, it still felt right.  Things made so much more sense now that he knew.  

And he understood what Richard had been worried about, even if Damian happened to be one of the few who would ever be able to compartmentalize the emotion of then and the emotion of now.  His years being raised by the LoA had its uses every and again.  But Richard had been the father Damian had always wanted his actual father to be in this life.  And even without these memories, Damian had always known Richard to be more of a father than his own.  It had not been intentional, but he wondered now if it had been instinctual.

Glancing over at the clock, he saw it was still considered early and the sun was just barely starting to rise into the sky outside.  But he sat up and knew he had something he had to do despite the early hour. Quickly, he got himself showered and dressed after calling down to the front desk and requesting a car to pick him up. With his wallet and room key in his back pocket, Damian slipped on his coat and tucked his phone into the inner breast pocket beside the small metal ice scoop he had found before heading out of his room.

“Your car is waiting out front, Sir,” the front desk employee told him with a nod.  “The driver will take you wherever you please.”

“Is the Castle grounds open to visitors?”  He didn’t comment on the surprised look on the clerk’s face but smiled when they nodded. “Thank you.”  He made his way outside and greeted the driver before slipping into the backseat.  “I need to get to the castle grounds on the East side of the forest.”  The driver gave nothing away as he nodded and headed out. Damian sent off a quick text to both Richard and Todd Jason, telling them he had gone into the town for an errand and would be back in time for breakfast should they want to partake in it together.

He wasn’t surprised when Richard immediately responded with an ‘everything okay?’ text.  It made him smile, but also worried him that the man had not bothered to get any sleep.  He replied that everything was just fine and that he would explain later.

“Mr. Wayne,” the driver called as the car pulled onto gravel.  “This is as close as I am able to get you to where you requested.” Damian glanced out the window as the car stopped and mentally took in where they were in relation to where he needed to be.  

Nodded his head, he smiled at the driver.  “This will do just fine,” he assured the man.  “I shall be back shortly, please wait here.”  The driver gave him a nod before Damian slipped out of the car and started walking.  The grounds were familiar, but different at the same time.  He was curious if Richard or Jason had made their way over here since coming back.  He made a mental note to ask them later.  But for now, he was focused on one particular spot.  

There was little movement as he entered the tree line and walked a path that had been long overgrown but remained familiar.  The image of Jon in his wedding robes walking beside him on this same path came to the forefront of his mind and it made him smile.  He wondered what the other man would say when Damian revealed that to him. Perhaps he would bring him here to show him all the places that had meant something to them.  Much in the same way he assumed Jason and Richard had done.

As he stepped into the glade he had promised his heart to Jon so many lifetimes ago, Damian felt the hush that fell over the creatures scurrying about.  It was as if he had stepped back through that spell in Madame Xanadu’s shop and he could no longer hear the outside world.

It was almost unnerving.

But he had a task to focus on and didn’t want to consider what it meant right then.  He made his way to the spot that looked like where he and Jon had been married and dropped to the cool earth.  Carefully, he tugged away the moss that covered the dirt and set it aside to return it once he had refilled the hole.  Once he was sure the space was big enough, he pulled out the ice scoop and used it as an impromptu shovel.  It had been the only thing he could find on such short notice, but as he dug up the dirt he knew it was doing the job well enough.

It took a few minutes before he was able to really break past the hardened upper dirt and into the softer, warmer lower soil.  Soil that was older than the object he was in search of.  Soil that had protected something for him for centuries.

He found himself thankful for that fact as the ice scoop hit something that wouldn’t give the same way the soil had been.  Carefully he worked his way around the box and widened the hole so he could reverently lift the box from the hole and brushed as much of the dirt off it as he could before setting aside.  With just as much care, he replaced all the dirt and the moss before putting the ice scoop back into his pocket and picking the box up again.

Without opening it, he stood and headed back the way he came.  He didn’t need to see it to know the item he had placed inside was still there. He trusted Madame Xanadu and the spell she had weaved for him.

Once he was out of the glade the sounds of the forest came back to him and he sighed, wondering yet again if there had been some sort of enchantment on the area.  When he reached the tree-line again, he pulled his cell phone out to send a text to Richard and Jason to see if they wished to have breakfast.

“Hello Richard,” he answered, amused that his brother had decided to call instead of just texting back. He could hear Jason apologizing for him in the background, but Damian was used to this particular trait of his brother’s by now.

“You were up early this morning.  Did you sleep?”

Damian hummed and smiled at the driver as he slipped back into the car, the box sitting carefully in his lap.  “Back to the hotel, please,” he told the driver before turning his attention back to his brother.  “I did sleep, quite well actually.”

There was a moment of silence and Damian knew Richard was trying to think of how to ask.  

“I took it before bed,” he decided to spare his brother the pain of having to figure it out.  “I remember the first but I have gotten flashes of some others since being awake.”

“Yeah, that’s how it was for us too,” Richard said quietly before there was some muffled talking between him and Jason.  “You’re on your way back?  Where did you go?”

Damian looked at the box and considered what to say.  “I had to retrieve something.  I will explain when I show you, but shall we get breakfast together?”

“Jay thinks we should just order room service.”  Damian thought about it and wondered if that would honestly be best.  He knew returning the ring to Jason would be a bit of an emotional moment.  “Dames?”

“Whatever you wish to do, Richard.  I do not have an opinion either way.”

“Okay, I’ll just have him order a spread to be sent here.”

“Very well, we are pulling up now.  I shall go back to my room for a moment and then come back to yours.”  His brother agreed and Damian slipped his phone back into his pocket before pulling his wallet out.  “Thank you for your assistance,” he said as he handed a sizeable tip to the driver.  And with the box in hand again, he slipped out of the car and headed back to his room.

Once inside he quickly placed the ice scoop into his bathroom sink to clean later and hug his jacket back up before tucking his phone into his pant pocket and heading back out.  He made the quick walk to the room where Richard and Jason were staying easily, knocking firmly on the door.  He wasn’t surprised when it swung open almost immediately and revealed Richard looking slightly uneasy.

“Jesus Dickie let the kid come in,” Jason called out from somewhere beyond Damian’s sight range. Richard rolled his eyes before stepping aside and Damian walked past him.  He spotted Jason sitting on the edge of the unmade bed, pulling on a pair of shoes.  Damian did his best to hold back the look of disgust at the bed, knowing there was no chance something untoward didn’t happened the night before.  “You keep those fucking judgement eyes to yourself, Gremlin.”  

“I do not have judgement eyes,” Damian huffed, looking back to Richard who was now leaning against the stand holding their television looking amused.  And for all the emotions that had been unearthed with the memories, Damian found he had absolutely no idea what to say to the man.  He wasn’t sure if saying thank you was enough or if he should have prepared some sort of speech.

“What do you have there, Dames?”  Jason asked, saving him from undoubtedly making a fool of himself.  Glancing down at the box he still held in hand, he ran his thumb over the lid before turning back to Jason.  

Holding it out, he waited as Jason’s face contorted in confusion before he reached out and took the object.  “It is something of yours,” he told the older man.  “From…I buried it after Jon passed away, in the days before my own death. With the help of Madame Xanadu and my daughter.”  A soft gasp from Richard pulled Damian’s attention to the man.

“Daughter?”  And Damian was reminded that he had never gotten to know his grandchildren.  He hadn’t been a part of so many life changing events in Damian’s life.  There would be much to share.

“Yes,” he nodded.  “There is much to tell you,” he told Richard before looking back to Jason.  “Much to tell both of you.  But first.” He gestured to the box and Jason’s eyes moved from Damian to Richard and then back down to the box.  Carefully, more carefully than Damian had ever seen him handle anything, the man opened the lid.

And though Damian expected an immediate reaction, there was none.  He seemed to have frozen in the very spot and Damian would have said something if Richard hadn’t moved forward to place a hand on Jason’s shoulder.  

“Is this real?”  Jason whispered, voice sounding strained.  When he looked up, Damian was unnerved to see the tears brimming his eyes.  Nodding, Damian remained quiet and let the man see the truth in his own eyes.  And even though he hadn’t said it, Damian could practically hear the thank you just by looking at the man.  He didn’t fight it when Jason stood to his feet, handed Richard the box, and wrapped Damian up in a hug.  “Thank you, Little Prince,” he whispered, tightening his arms for a moment before releasing him.

They separated to see Richard holding the box in one hand and the ring between his thumb and pointer finger of the other hand.  “I can’t believe this is real,” he whispered.  And Damian could see the tears in his brother’s eyes just as they were in Jason’s.  But he had known this would be an emotional moment all those centuries ago when he had buried the ring.  He had known it still when he woke with the memory fresh in his mind.

“I gave it to Jon like you told me to,” he told Richard, who turned to look at him.  “He never took it off.  But when he asked if I wanted to give it to any of our children, I told him no. I wanted to be sure that when this day came, that you could have it back.  Even if I didn’t know how it would happen at the time.”  He glanced over at Jason.  “It was an honor to have him wear something that belonged to one of my fathers.” That pulled Jason’s attention over to him, eyes wide and lips parting in surprise.  “I didn’t get to tell you then, but I hope you at least felt it.”

He watched Jason swallow and nod.  “I knew, Dames.  It was the same for me.”  And that was a relief.  Because he might not have known to worry about it in the many lifetimes between then and now, he had certainly worried he hadn’t made it clear when Jason had been alive.

“Well, now I am extra glad I had Jason order the champagne with breakfast.  We have lots to celebrate and even more after this afternoon.”

“So, you found a location for the ceremony?”  Damian questioned and watched as Richard beamed and nodded, looking over at Jason. “Then we certainly do have much to celebrate.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stepping out of the small chapel, Damian clicked accept on his phone and walked a few feet away from the building.  “Jon,” he greeted, glancing back to make sure Jason and Richard hadn’t followed him out of the building.  

“Dad just got home from a League meeting and told me the strangest thing.”  Damian made a questioning noise but said nothing.  “He told me that Batman said Robin was not available for any missions for an undisclosed amount of time.”

“Hmm, yes,” Damian confirmed.  “I am out of the country.  Is something happening?”  He felt his body go on alert and knew that if Jon asked him to come help, he would do just that.

“No, but I found it odd that I wasn’t even aware of the fact that my boyfriend was AWOL.”

Rolling his eyes, Damian huffed out a laugh.  “Don’t be dramatic.  I am not AWOL.  I am with Richard and Todd.  They called and requested I join them on their trip.”

“I thought you said this was some sort of soul-searching trip for them?”  

“It is.  Or was,” he said, not sure which was actually true. Since they had found the castle did that mean they would head home after their wedding and possible honeymoon? “I’m not certain how much I’m allowed to tell you just yet.  But I will explain things when I get back.”

There were a few beats of silence before he heard Jon take a deep breath.  “Does this have anything to do with whatever it was that had you worried a few months ago?”

And of course Jon would remember that.  Of course he would remember Damian calling him in the middle of the night to sit with him on Wayne Tower while he worried whether or not Richard had been telling him the truth about him having done nothing wrong.

“It does.  I was given some answers, and more are coming forth every day.”  It was Jon’s turn to make a questioning noise and Damian closed his eyes to picture the look on his boyfriend’s face.  “I promise, Beloved, I will tell you when I return home.”

“Dami?”  Turning, he saw Richard standing at the top of the stairs that led to the entrance of the building.  “You good?  We’re about to get this started.”  Giving one nod, Damian signaled he’d be right there.  

“Jon, I need to go.  I will call you later with more of an idea of how long until I return home.”  He could hear Jon sigh over the line and knew what was coming.

“You’re killing my curiosity here, Dames.  Seriously.”

Damian chuckled and headed up the steps with the phone still pressed to his ear.  “Well, you’ll have to suffer a bit longer.  I do need to go, Beloved.  I’ll call you later.”

“Okay, okay.  Stay safe.  Love you.”

“And I you.”  He hung up the call, silenced his phone, and slipped it back into his pocket as he reentered the chapel.  He found Richard and Jason at the doors that would lead to where the ceremony would.  The two of them looked at him when he approached, smiling in their own way when he reached them.  “Where would you like me?”  He questioned, glancing past them to the aisle that led to the waiting minister.

“We thought we could all walk down there together.  And the minister agreed to allow you to stand up there with him and do the handfasting.” A brief flash of his own handfasting with Jon came to mind as Damian nodded, agreeing to the plan.  “It’s not the traditional route where we would braid the chord, but we can do that back home, with the family.”

“That would be fitting. Are we ready then?”  He glanced from Richard to Jason and then back again, receiving a nod from both men before he walked just slightly behind them, yet in the space between their bodies.  He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but now that they were at this point he found himself nervous.  Not because he thought he might mess up, but because he was about to witness something that everything had fought to prevent for so long.  But finally, finally it was about to happen, and he was being allowed to witness it.

The minister gave a nod when the three of them reached him, gesturing to the spot beside him for Damian to stand and the younger man followed the direction easily.  Turning, he clasped his hands behind his back and watched the two men as they turned their attention onto the minister.  

As far as ceremonies went, it was simple and precise.  Richard had mentioned they were only after the legally binding contract and that the show could come once they were home and planning a wedding for those in attendance. Damian knew his father wouldn’t allow the event to pass without all the bells and whistles, even if he was still hesitant on the relationship between the two men.  

Today though?  This was just about binding themselves to one another in a way that they had not been allowed to before.  And the joy at being able to do just that was thick in the air between them.  To the point that Damian could probably choke on it.  But he also reveled in it.  He basked in their happiness and allowed his own lips to lift in a smile, though more conservative, but happy all the same.  

And that smile grew as the minister turned to him and offered him the chorded ribbon so he could fast their hands together.

Silently, he took the chord and stepped in front of the two men and began wrapping the braid around their hands in the same manner that had he remembered having been done to him and Jon. He glanced at Richard and found his eyes locked on Jason’s as they said the vows and promised their lives to the other. It made him swallow hard against a sudden onslaught of tears that threatened to spill over.  He looked so much like the man he remembered from before in that moment.  So much love, hope, shinning in his eyes.  And this was all Damian had ever wanted back then.  He had wanted so desperately to see his father happy again after Jason had died, and now he was being afforded that chance.

Once the chord was tied off, he smiled at both men before stepping to the side again so the ceremony could finish.  And that smile remained as they were instructed to kiss each other for the first time as a married couple, the sight causing his heart to clench.

“Thank you,” he said to the minister as he took his leave before turning back to the two men.  “I suppose this is the where one might say ‘it’s about time’, is it not?”  He teased, laughing lightly when Richard pulled him in for a tight hug.  One Damian returned with just as much strength. One he gave to Jason the moment Richard finally released him, as well.  

When they had separated, Damian looked at the two of them and blinked back tears.  “Thank you for allowing me to be here for this.”

“Couldn’t have been anyone else, kid,” Jason told him, tugging Richard into his side with an arm over his shoulder.  “Now, how about we go grab some food and just enjoy a little bit of peace?  For once in our fucking lives.”

“Yeah…that sounds nice,” Richard said, smiling up at the man.  Damian watched his brother push up onto his toes to give Jason a kiss and he felt his smile soften to something genuine and usually reserved for Richard or Jon.  He supposed now Jason would be included in that small group.  “Come on, Dames,” Richard hooked his arm into Damian’s and tugged him along as they began heading for the exit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With practiced ease, Damian dropped silently on the Bludhaven rooftop Jason had sent him coordinates to earlier in the evening.  Give the near dawn, he figured that Richard was unaware of the meeting and that he should keep it quiet from his father as well.  So, he had mentioned some vague plans with Jon before heading out on his motorcycle to meet his brother where he had requested.

“Robin,” the mechanical voice of Red Hood greeted him as he walked over to where the man was seated on the ledge of the rooftop.

Stopping just a few feet to his right, toes touching the raised edge Jason sat on, Damian looked down at the alley that Hood seemed to be watching.  “Hood, what’s this about?”

Damian watched him out of the corner of his eye as Jason hit the release on his helmet and removed it, setting it down next to him on the edge.  He waited as for him to speak, knowing how to communicate with the man after years of trying.

“Wing mentioned you asked about Catalina yesterday and that he told you to just let it go because it wasn’t worth digging up those memories.”  Turning his head, Damian regarded him closely as he recalled the conversation that had been shut down faster than he had ever thought possible. Especially with Richard.  Damian couldn’t recall a time where his bother didn’t give him answer.  Even more so now that Damian had been given the potion for his memories and had managed to accumulate most of them in the past two weeks since his impromptu trip at Richard’s request.  “He’s right, he deserves the right to not have to relive that particular period of his life.”

“But you are not him,” Damian countered, guessing where this was going.  Carefully he sat down on the ledge and let his legs drape over the side.

“I am not him.”

Looking out at the skyline, Damian considered the situation before looking back to Jason.  “What did she do?  All I could find was that she was in Blackgate for killing Blockbuster and that Nightwing had attempted to turn himself in for the same murder but…”  He made an abortive gesture and watched Jason huff out a laugh.

“Yeah, B’s records are not going to have the full story on this one.  I don’t know that anyone outside of Donna and myself actually know what happened.”  That meant it was bad.  But not bad as in something Richard himself had done.  Bad that he felt Batman would either turn his back on him or blame him for whatever it was.  “I’ll tell you the story if you promise that it dies here.  He can’t know I told you or that you know.  It would devastate him.  And the events are a little too close to what happened the last time she had been in his life.”

Frowning, Damian tried to think of what he could mean by that.  He recalled moments that were not good between his parents, but he couldn’t figure out what Jason could be referencing.  The memories might be freshly implanted in his mind, but they still had the slightly fuzzy quality that memories tended to have the older you got. This was no different.

“I will speak of it to no one,” Damian promised, even if it might be a lie.  If he needed to, he would probably talk to Jon about it.  But he would certainly not say anything to Richard about it.  Of that, he was certain.

Damian met Jason’s gaze head on, as much as possible with their whited-out lenses on their dominos and waited for the man to start talking.  It took a few moments but eventually the hesitance fell from Jason’s shoulders in an almost visible way and the man started talking.  “When he met Catalina, she…”  And Damian sat there, listening to a tale he would have said couldn’t possibly be accurate if he hadn’t read the files his father had amassed in the computer back in the Cave.  He wouldn’t think it possible for Richard to somehow let someone figure out his identity and then actively use it against him in such a way.  But while Damian might have blamed his older brother for the problem when he was much younger, he knew now there was probably little the man could have done to prevent it.  Especially not with Catalina playing both sides.

And when Jason finally revealed how Catalina killed Blockbuster and then what transpired on the rooftop after, Damian gripped the edge of the rooftop tightly and cursed whoever had killed her in Blackgate because he would have enjoyed handling that on his own.  His father’s golden rule be damned.

“I don’t need to see your eyes to know exactly what you’re thinking,” Jason stated, leaning toward Damian. “I would have done it too.  I wanted to dig her up and toss her in the pit just so I could.  Your mother owes me so I could have, but I also know it’s the absolute last thing he would want.  No matter how cathartic it would be.”

Damian let out a sharp breath through his nose and turned to look out at the disgusting waste of a city Richard was so fond of.  “You said it was similar to what happened back then…how could she have…?”  He didn’t understand the comparison.  Was that how he had been conceived?

“Stop it,” Jason’s voice was firm, and Damian looked over at him, startled at the tone.  “You are not a product of that situation.  He was an active participant in those events.  But after…some of the council had gotten under her thumb and convinced the others that Dick had to perform his “husbandly duty” at least once a year.  He was very much against it, as he had gotten his heir, but they overruled him, and he had no choice.  It was…” The older man frowned and looked away, shoulders hunching slightly.

“Hood?”

“Sorry, bad memories.  That last hunt I went on was because she had cornered me and told me she was pregnant and if I didn’t go then she would drink a potion that would abort the baby.”  Damian knew his eyes would be saucers if they were visible.  He remembered the Ah Ghul soldier his mother had met in the alleyway and knew the events were connected.  The man had given her something, he wondered if it was what she had used against Jason.  “But I don’t think she was ever actually pregnant.  I just couldn’t risk it.  She said that I wouldn’t be returning, but I thought it was a bluff.”

But Jason had come back, just not in the manner they had expected.

And while most of his memories were fuzzy, the ones of comforting his father after Jason’s death were clear in almost a fragile sort of way.  Like if he were to reach out, he could break the glass they were projected on. It fell in line with how painful the memories were, still.

“He never got over that,” Damian admitted, not able to look at Jason.  “It killed him.  Your death…he was still my father, but he started to fade.  And I tried so hard to comfort him, but-” he cut himself off with a sigh.  He hadn’t understood when he was younger.  He hadn’t realized he loved Jon then and once he had, it was too late to really understand what exactly his father had been feeling.  Especially since he never lost Jon in a sudden matter. The older man had passed in his sleep a few days before Damian himself had followed.  It was peaceful.

Startling when the feel of a hand covering his own pulled him out of his thoughts, Damian glanced down at the gloved hand before looking back to Jason who was much closer now.  “It fucking sucks.  What she did has brought a lot of pain to our lives, but it’s not going to happen again.  The damage has been done and we control our fate from here on out, okay?”

“Do we though?”

“What do you mean?” Damian looked over at Jason and huffed out a breath through his nose.

“I love Jon.  I have loved him for a few years now, I don’t question that.  But…” he paused, trying to think of the best way to put his thoughts into words.  He wasn’t sure how exactly the state what he was worried about.

But apparently he didn’t need to.  “You’re worried if ‘Wing and I love each other because of what was and not because of what is?”  He could only shrug in response.  “Look, I get it.  I do. It seems like what happened between us suddenly happened once we had our encounter with Fate.  Truth is, we had already been building toward something long before that.”  That was surprising.  His eyebrows pulled down in the middle and he knew that his confusion was clear when Jason chuckled.  “We had even been on a date.  Though neither of us would have admitted to that.  But that’s definitely what it was.”

“So you did not just begin your relationship because you were shown how fated you two were?” Jason shook his head and Damian sighed.

“You don’t have to worry about our hearts, Baby Bat, it’s real.  We wouldn’t have gotten married if it weren’t.”  He supposed that was true.  But it was also nice not to have to worry that Richard would get himself hurt again.  Especially not by someone so close to the family.  

Curiously, he watched Jason reach up to his ear and tap it before staring off into the distance, listening to whoever had tapped into his comm line.  “I will be on my way home in a few.”  Richard then.  “How about that Thai place?  I want to try something new.  I’ll text it to you.”  He listened to the conversation go on a little longer as he watched the city before Jason said a gentle ‘I love you’ and tapped his ear again.  

“Thank you for telling me what I needed to know,” Damian said, hoping it sounded as sincere as he felt.

“Superboy,” Jason greeted when a soft shuffle of feet touching down on the roof hit their ears. Damian perked up and glanced behind him to find Jon standing there looking a bit confused.  Looking back to Jason, he tilted his head in question and the older man just laughed as he stood and picked up his helmet.  “I texted ‘Wing to call for him to come meet you.  I need to go pick up our food and then get home to my husband, but you could probably use a shoulder at the moment.”

Damian moved to stand on the rooftop and watched Jason pull the red helmet back on, leaving the faceplate up.  “It is all right…?”  Jason gave a firm nod before stepping forward to give him a hug and Damian easily sank into it.  “Thank you.”

“Come by tomorrow.  I’ll make veggie pizza and Dick can torture us with Disney movies.”  Damian let out a laugh and nodded as he stepped back.  “Only Jon, okay?  I wouldn’t ask you to keep a secret from him, but no one else.”  And Damian was thankful.  Especially since this was such a big one.  Having the permission to share the burden was nice.  “Stay safe, kid.”

“You too.”  

Backing up, Damian came to a stop next to where Jon stood in his Superboy costume, watching the events curiously.  But Damian didn’t say anything until Jason had dropped off the building and shot off his grapple in the general direction of the apartment he and Richard shared in the city.

“Hey,” Jon greeted him with a smirk, looking over at Damian when he turned to glance at his boyfriend. “I know a place that’s real secluded and has some of the best apple pie known to man…”

And though Robin usually had fun throwing biting retorts back at Superboy, Damian was glad to have Jon there right then.  “That sounds like just the thing I need.”

#jaydick #damijon #damian wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #jon kent #past lives au #anikah writes

[felidfavs]

oh man theres that tiktok rn where a nonbinary person is expressing their annoyance with certain nonbinary community subsets and ive been trying SO HARD not to comment on it but hHHHHH.

On one hand i completely get where they are coming from and its definitely A Thing so like no shade to that persons experiences and the video itself isnt outright disrespectful at all but GOD does it rub me so wrong.

like im also not fond of the sound and feel of enby, and people can totally like or dislike it and no one should force it on anyone else for sure! But the only reason it sounds "infantile" is because of the whole "kiki vs boba" concept where certain sounds, along with conventions in the english language like short syllables and stuff being associated with endearments and softer concepts and objects- theres nothing else about it that means that. Even if you take it out of verbal and write it "NB" that removes a lot of the softness- which is why when its a problem its always phoneticized. because "NB" isnt the FEELING of the sound youre hearing.

But that thing where people dont want to be infantalized (valid) being combined with people not wanting to be associated with "weird" "cringe" or "childish" things like associating with concepts like animals or fantasy creatures or objects... ends up feeling SUPER misogynistic and ableist to me?

The people who relate to raccoons and gremlins and shit arent doing it to be quirky and childish. Theyre doing it because of a fucking destroyed relationship with being able to identify with other human beings and reclaiming and playing with that alienation and expression. Theyre doing it because anytime you get remotely into the ballpark of an aesthetic claimed by a large enough group of a certain gender, their identity is once again questioned and people start treating them as THAT and not as THEM.

And like. I get that. I'm not huge on it myself but I literally have multiple "sona" characters based on dead cats because of struggling with derealization and depersonalization and depression and my identity and shit like. i really fucking understand wanting nothing to do with being perceived as anything remotely close to your physical self and thus distancing really hard from "normal human".

And then it also kicks into the ballpark of how a lot of neurodivergent people do similar and thats constantly trashed and bullied for being weird and abnormal. And given how theres a HUGE, HUUUGE problem with how people assume everyone whose nonbinary is afab... and specifically even in that video the person was kinda coming from a "why is that SIDE of the nb demographic like this why are the ""transmasc/amab""* types alienated" like, just, makes me flinch into...

is this another young ""women""(not women) cant be interested or do literally anything without being mocked? cause it has some of that flavour! With a little bit if "these """women""" arent nonbinary they just want to be weird and not beholden to the label of women" its just! mm! dont like it. (* also with the nod that is NB and necessarily any desire to be associated with those labels)

But yea. I donnnttt like it. I get where theyre coming from and super agree that if they feel like they cant be welcomed into the community or actively alienated thats an issue for sure! But I also super dont like the feeling of the video that the problem causing that issue is that theres some sort of monolith nonbinary culture that is cringey and should be minimized or downgraded in any way. From my understanding the joy of being nonbinary is that its usually an intentional departure from being able to be defined by your expression in the world and activities and roles and that you literally can not typify what it means to be nonbinary and thus anything goes.

So to me that person just... needs to find theyre bubble and fortify their comfort and security in what their identity means to them and find people who reinforce that euphoria for them. Cause like. As a nonbinary person who barely does fuck all irl to """seem nonbinary""".... can confirm we exist. No one defines nonbinary. People who try are usually trying simply to other themselves from it, because you cant other yourself or someone else until you have a definition. And othering isnt necessarily bad, but do it with love and intention. Your other is not meant to be your enemy.

[meganshinsou-tm]

Vermilion. (m)

↳ chapter six: what’s mine, is yours

❧ genre:  pro-hero’s bakugou/kirishima, poly, happy ending

❧ chapter warnings: none

[multi-chap masterlist] [previous chapter - next chapter]

“Hey guys, need help?”

As you walked into the door of the house, Kirishima eagerly walked over to help you with the bags in your hands. He wore a plain white t-shirt and black shorts, then you noticed his hair wasn’t spiky anymore, but relaxed and down. “Oh my god, how can he get more adorable,” you thought. Low and behold though, he smiled enormously at you, making you squeal internally. “I’m deceased now.”

“So I learned the gremlin here is bi-lingual while we were out shopping,” Bakugou said as he walked into the kitchen and started to put away groceries, Kirishima following behind.

You smiled at the two of them and proceeded to help, the red-head asked for elaboration and you explained to him.

“And I thought you couldn’t get any cuter mama. Maybe you can teach us sometime!”

Kirishima smiled as he pulled out your jar of pickles and pickle chips. He gave you a look, and you shrugged and grinned at him making him smile in return.

“So Red, I’m cooking Mexican tonight, that cool with you?”

He nodded eagerly and bundled up the empty grocery bags, “Sounds good, I’m starving! Do you need any help with anything?”

You violently shook your head, strongly protesting against them and moving to gather both men with all your strength and pushed them out of the kitchen. Placing kisses to their cheeks and pats on the back. They both left and went to the living room to do their own thing as you proceeded to start prepping dinner. They ended up playing a video game together, both glancing over at you every now and then. The area started to smell heavenly as they heard sizzling noises.

“Ugh, I don’t know how much longer I can wait, I’m starting to drool over here man,” Kirishima whined as he gripped his stomach and Bakugou chuckled.

In perfect timing you called over to them that dinner was finally ready and they both quickly jumped off the couch and ran into the kitchen, broad shoulders bumping into the other as they raced along the way. Suddenly they both stopped in their tracks, jaws dropping as they looked at the display of food.

“So, I made some carne asada, I marinated the meat and tried to make it as spicy as I could, so hopefully it turned out good! Over here you have your toppings like cilantro, limes, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, beans, some extra chili powder just for you Suki. You can either make tacos with them, or I made rice as well and you can top them on that or make a burrito.”

Kirishima looked like he was about to cry as he walked over and hugged you, making you giggle and pet his soft hair.

“Thank you so much (Y/N), you didn’t have to go all out for us like this! Keep it up and you’re gonna have us fat and spoiled!”

He pulled back with you still in his arms, you shrugged at him with a smile. “It’s the least I could do after you guys helped me out and let me into your home. I’ll make you a deal, on the days that I’m off work, I’ll cook for you guys. Then maybe on Sundays we can all cook together?”

The two men nodded eagerly agreeing with you. Bakugou grabbed dishware for everyone and set them beside the layout of food. Kirishima let go off you, kissing your forehead and thanking you once more before going to fix his food. Katsuki smirked as he passed you, your eyes locking briefly before he placed a kiss on your cheek, shocking even himself, and thanking you as he walked to stand by Kirishima and made a plate.

You stood there, rubbing the cheek the blonde kissed and watching in awe as your roommates smiled at the other and nudged elbows, making small talk as they piled food onto their plates. It amazed you how cool and civil they were, having to know of the obvious crushes they both had on you. For a moment it made your small sense of guilt fade and you joined them.

Soon the three of you sat down, eating and talking with each other. The boys both asked you more about your childhood and family. Kirishima couldn’t get over how you said ‘cilantro’ with a Mexican accent, he’d ask you to repeat it over and over and asked you to say other common words that made your accent come out, making Bakugou chuckle as you entertained the red-head. You asked both of your friends about their own families, learning that Bakugou’s mom was pretty much a carbon copy of himself just female. Then Kirishima told you the story of how he got the cut above his eye, making you awe at him. It was so nice to have them around, making you realize what you were missing out on from living alone.

After eating, you all got up from the table to put your dishes in the sink. You went to go grab the sponge to wash them until you felt strong arms around your waist, jerking you away from the sink.

“Oh no mama, you cooked, we’ll clean! You’ve had a pretty big day, why don’t you go take a bath? Fortunately, my bathroom is the only one with a tub, so you lucked out there.”

You smiled at the men and thanked them, squeezing their arms before turning away and took off upstairs. The two red-eyed roommates cleaned up the kitchen and washed the dishes together. It was quiet between them but they both had the same thing on their mind - you. They wanted to tell the other how they felt about you so bad, but hesitated in fear of crushing their friend. Finally they both finished cleaning up the kitchen and looked at each other.

“We need to talk!”

Bakugou smirked, pushing away from the sink and going to the fridge, grabbing two beers out of it and handing one to his friend. Kirishima smiled and they both walked outside to sit on the front steps.

“So I guess it’s obvious that we’re both falling for her right?”

Katsuki hummed in agreement, taking a drink and sighing before he spoke, “And it’s also obvious that she’s possibly falling for both of us.”

The red-head nodded and rubbed the back of his neck.

“And here I thought we had a problem, she’s the one in a shitty situation you know. Probably thinking she has to choose between the two of us. If (Y/N) is as selfless as I think she is, then she won’t.”

Both of the men’s hearts dropped a bit. You were such a genuinely caring person and you wouldn’t dare come between them, especially now that you all lived together. Bakugou and Kirishima could be selfish and just go after you with everything they had like some kind of competition to see who got you first, but they didn’t want that, it would only tear you apart in the process and tear each other apart. Besides you, Kirishima was the only other person Bakugou cared about and was close to, there was no way he was going to fuck up the years of friendship, brotherhood, they built together. Kirishima felt equally the same.

Head hanging low, Bakugou sat quietly, rolling a rock under his toes against the concrete.

“What if she didn’t have to choose between us?” He blurted out, breaking Kiri’s thoughts.

The red-head looked at his friend with confusion and asked what he meant.

“Kiri, what if we like shared her? Like fucking Pikachu does, doesn’t he have like two boyfriends? We’d both get what we want and she would get what she wants and not feel torn down the middle.”

“You mean like a poly relationship? I didn’t know you were into that, I mean I’m not objecting.” Kirishima chuckled and took a drink.

Bakugou shrugged his shoulders, “I mean, if it were with some other guy, like Icy-Hot or Deku, I’d fucking kill them, but its you. We’ve been through a lot together and have shared a lot together. What makes this any different?”

Kirishima raised his eyebrows.

“Well a lot man, this is a person we’re talking about Kat, not a toy. We’d be sharing emotions, connections, time, everything man. And not that its the only thing that matters, but we’re humans and we’re physical creatures so we’d have to share affection with her, kisses, hugs - even sex. Are you truly okay with that?”

Kirishima turned his head to look at his friend. A sharp tooth chewing on his lip nervously. Maybe he thought about exactly this before and he never had any strong negative feelings about it. So far the three of you really worked well together. If he saw any other guy being flirty and handsy with you like Bakugou was, Kirishima would be green with envy but … that wasn’t the case here.

Bakugou chuckled, thinking nearly the same exact thing as his friend. If anyone were the jealous and possessive type, it was Katsuki Bakugou. Not like he had ever been in a serious relationship before, just hooked up here and there, but he wasn’t as walled-off as people thought he was. He wanted to experience whatever the fuck this was with you, even if it meant Kirishima was also involved, the fucker was involved in everything else in his life. They needed each other, so what, and that was shockingly okay with Bakugou.

The blonde smirked and looked at his friend, “Look Shitty Hair, long as she gave us an equal amount of attention, I’m down.”

Kirishima laughed warmly and rolled his eyes.

“Alright Blasty, so it’s not a weird idea and it could work out. She wouldn’t feel so like you said torn that’s for sure, I mean we both make her happy, what I lack you make up for and vice versa right? But just because we’re cool with this, doesn’t mean she will be, so how do you suggest we bring the topic up?”

“I guess we just let her come to us when she’s ready to talk, with her living with us now, I’m sure it won’t take long. In the meantime, if she makes a move on either of us then we’re cool with each other to accept it?”

Kirishima thought it over and smiled, nodding before holding up his bottle, “What’s mine is yours, and what’s yours is mine?”

Bakugou flashed him a smirk and raised his own drink, the sound of glass clinking sounding off between them, sealing their agreement.

“I should get out, I’m starting to prune,” you hummed as you looked at your hands. 

It had to of been a good 20 minutes that you spent in the bathtub, losing track of time while reading a book. After getting out and drying off, you took your hair down from its clip and put on a black tank top and some soft sleeping shorts then grabbed your book and dirty clothes before walking out and down to your bedroom. Once you disposed of the items, you decided to go back downstairs and see what your new roommates were up to.

Just as you walked out the door, so did Bakugou from his bathroom. Without looking up you knew it was him, given that Kiri’s room was on the other end of the hall.

“Oh your still – uhh, oh,” you gasped as you finally laid eyes on the shirtless blonde before you.

Your eyes raked over his toned and defined chest, lightly glistening as a few drops of shower water had yet to dry on his skin. Swallowing thickly, you weren’t exactly paying attention to how long you starred, you had only ever seen Bakugou in his work clothes and hero costume, not once catching him without a shirt, at least until now. You knew he’d be gorgeous but damn, this was illegal.

Katsuki noticed your eyes taking him in and chuckled.

“If you wanted to see me without fucking rags on all you had to do was ask princess, you didn’t have to wait outside my bathroom!”

His arrogant voice finally broke your thoughts and you rolled your eyes at him. Looking away and willing the blush on your face to subside while scratching at your neck.

“A-are you going to bed already?” You asked, trying to seem calm, leaning back against the wall.

Bakugou clicked his tongue and nodded, a hand coming up to ruffle his damp hair, “Yeah, why do you fucking need something gremlin?”

You smirked at him and pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, “Well if you’re offering!”

You teased, expecting Bakugou to smart back off. 

Instead, he smirked and took a step towards you, causing you to step sideways until he quickly placed both arms on either side of your head, trapping you against the wall. You quietly grunted and bit your lip again when his face came closer to yours, making your heartbeat and breathing quicken. One of his hands suddenly came up to rest on the side of your neck, his thumb tracing your jawline slowly and making you shudder. His touch was soft but demanding and made your eyes flutter at him, body going still.

His thumb then brushed over your bottom lip, coaxing it out from between your teeth and making you unconsciously whimper; this made Bakugou chuckle and grin wickedly as he traced your lip. His hungry red eyes never looking away from the soft piece of flesh. He leaned even closer, completely invading your space as his teeth bit down on the lip and sucked it softly. As soon as your taste was on his palette, Bakugou released you and dragged his teeth across your cheek where he placed a soft kiss and pulled away.

“Katsu,“ you breathed out as he looked at you with a pleased grin, his smug look gone and replaced with a softer one.

“I’m pretty beat from work princess. How about you go hangout with Red tonight, then tomorrow night me and you will hangout?” Bakugou finally spoke, cupping your cheek in his warm palm.

In utter shock, all you could do was nod. He placed another kiss on your forehead, hands moving on your body and turning it down the hall as he spoke a ‘goodnight’ and slipped into his room. You stood there for a few minutes going over what had just happened and how the crimson eyed blonde had just completely mind-fucked you.

“What the actual fuck!”

#vermilion #bakugou x reader x kirishima #kirishima x reader x bakugou #katsuki bakugou x reader #kirishima eijirou x reader #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha x reader #mha x reader #reader insert #xreader #polyamory #poly relationship

[pinkettepoet]

In Which They Go To The Beach

Summary: You and the Avengers go to the beach for a well deserved break. What could go wrong?

Warning(s): Avengers x Fem!Reader, Swearing.

Note: I am so happy to see that many enjoyed the last imagine. I used some prompts here, maybe I should make a list of prompts. I hope many more will enjoy this one!

There was nothing you’d like more than to sleep for the rest of the year. After a week long mission, you had aches and bruises all over your body. Plopping yourself headfirst onto the mattress, you swore to yourself that you’d never move another muscle again.

Just when you thought that sleep was near, the lights turn on and suddenly there were voices in your room. You open your eyes to see the Avengers piling onto your room one by one, they all dived onto your bed until there was no more space.

“Oi! What the hell is happening?” You exclaimed, demanding to know why giants decided to pile on top of each other in your room.

Natasha grumbled words into the pillow beside you, it was a miracle you understood, “Steven called a family meeting.”

“And you all came to my room, why?” You asked, eyelids becoming heavier. The taste of heavenly sleep was right there, yet it was so far away as you struggled to breathe. Being cuddled by Thor became a little hassle when he forgot the extent of his strength.

“You have the softest bed, everyone knows that you’re Tony’s favorite.” Pietro sped inside, only to jump on top of his sister’s back. In result, he ended up being flung to the side of the wall.

You told yourself that sleep was more important than trying to push everyone out of your safe haven. Slowly, as your eyelids fluttered shut, you almost succumbed to the void of darkness.

The door to your room came banging open. You tried to jump up on instinct but a certain God kept his arms around you. Suddenly, you realize that the new intruder was no other than Steve Rogers himself, clad in the colors of America.

“Avengers, assemble.” He said with the corner of his mouth tipped up in a smile. “We’re going to the beach.”

A series of exaggerated groans came flying around the room. As much as the idea was tempting, the comforts of your room was way better. Plus, you always found the way of being the designated babysitter.

“Steve, come here.” Natasha sat up straight from her spot on the bed, her arms wide open for Steve.

“Why?” Steve didn’t move a muscle. And if you didn’t know any better, you’d say that was fear is his eyes.

“Just come here.” Natasha had a sweet smile plastered on her face, contrasted by the tiny glare she sent Steve.

“No, you’ll punch me.” With that, Steve turned around to flee for his life but Tony ended up blocking his way out.

“Hello, creatures!” Tony exclaimed. “Hi, Y/N, the sweetest angel of my life. Steve, how did the meeting go?”

“I want to stab everyone!” You said before Steve could say anything else. Sleep was the only thing you wanted.

“Oh, you’re so adorable.” Tony came up to you, squeezing your cheeks as if you were a child. Luckily, Thor swatted his hands away. “But no murder before dinner.”

“I think the beach would be a good place for a vacation.” Steve said, nervously shifting his weight from one leg to the other.

“Silence, you uneducated dorito!” Clint threw a pillow of yours at Steve, missing his head by a long shot.

• • •

It felt like a vacation. For once, everything was going smoothly. Sam and Peter managed to fry eggs on Bucky’s metal arm. Clint was swimming with a shark fin on his head, scaring away most of the visitors. Natasha and Wanda were trying to teach Vision and Steve about beach volleyball. Tony and Bruce were off collecting seashells. Thor and Loki were failing miserably at surfing. You didn’t know where Pietro was.

Everything was perfect. You laid down on the chair, basking in the warmth of the sun. The view of the ocean right in front of you was enchanting. The thought of getting a tan seemed amazing to you. You and your coconut drink were an unstoppable duo.

Until you weren’t.

Peter ran up to you, his head down and eyes cast solemnly to the sand. “Y/N, Sam burnt me.”

And so it started, you thought. It was bound to happen. Even if ignoring everyone seemed like an amazing option, you knew there was no way that you could not help. Hence why you were the babysitter of the group.

Before you could say anything, Sam came running to you with sweat dripping down his bare chest. “Y/N! Peter is lying! He’s a little devil, I tell you. He put sand in my fried egg! Sand!”

“I did not!” Peter objected. After a few seconds, he nodded shyly. “Okay, maybe I did.”

“Why, you little gremlin.” Sam immediately lunged for Peter.

“Only because Wade told me it would be a cool idea!” Peter dodged Sam’s attack and ran away. The two soon were caught up in a chasing game.

You reminded yourself that they were both fully grown Avengers, they could handle themselves. It was a vacation, you told yourself, a vacation that you absolutely needed to enjoy. After minutes of squirming in your seat, you finally decided that you would go after them.

In five minutes.

For five minutes, you were determined to relax as much as possible. You were successful in being able to pretend that you didn’t have responsibilities for about three minutes until you heard Clint screeching your name. So much for five minutes.

You turned your head to find an angry looking woman with Clint pouting by her side. The hellish tone in her next words was definitely noted, “Is this man your brother?”

“Of some sorts,” You mentioned hesitantly.

“Well, then,” The lady’s voice raised an octave higher, effectively making you wince. “Tell your brother to stop scaring my children with his shark suit!”

The woman made her point with a few more harsh sentences. Then, she turned her heel and trekked to the other direction. Leaving a flustered Clint.

“I gotta say, Clint,” You started, snatching his attention instantly. “I have to agree. If you wanna swim some more, take off the shark suit.”

Clint’s expression turned downcast. “But my shark suit,” He whined, pulling on your heartstrings.

“I’m sorry, Clint, but we’re here to rest. Not inflict terror on the children.” You sympathized. “Go change.”

Barton was silent for a few moments. He stood frozen in front of you, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. It honestly looked hilarious with his head engulfed by a large shark head.

“Clint? What’s up?” You asked, giving in to your curiosity as to why Clint was suddenly speechless.

“I don’t have my clothes anymore.”

“What?” You sat up in alarm. Granted, it was a typical thing of Clint to do but it was still shocking. “What do you mean you don’t have your clothes anymore?”

“I ripped them all off when I put the shark suit on.”

“Why on earth would you do that, Clint?” You exclaimed, flailing your arms around.

“I don’t know!” He shrugged. “I just wanted to feel manly, I think, the adrenaline was just rushing through me. I didn’t know what to do.”

“Jesus, Clint.” You palmed your forehead exasperatedly. “Find Tony and go ask for money and buy yourself some clothes.”

“Fine.” He huffed. On his way to find Stark, he began to mumble some things. You could see him kicking the sand with a flipper. “Fuck off, sand.”

Your attention was diverted to Sam chasing Peter with a stick by the shore. As you saw the amount of people watching them with incredulous stares, you were reminded of the very reason why you pushed yourself to get up.

Just as you began to stand up, you heard a set of familiar booming voices. The bickering of the God of Thunder and the God of Mischief began to sound awfully closer by the minute.

“Lady Y/N, will you aid us in our quest of hunting a great white shark?” Thor beamed at you when the siblings reached you. “My brother and I have heard talk of this creature lurking around by these waters, we shall obliterate it at once.”

“I’m not your brother, you fool.” Loki hissed. His lips lifted to a smile when he faced you. “But yes, we will be on the hunt of this animal that brings the screams of agony to the mortals.”

“Boys, no!” You sighed. “Clint is inside that shark—”

“Say nothing more, Lady Y/N. Sir Barton will be rescued from it’s evil clutches.”

As Thor and Loki sped away to find Clint, you couldn’t help the groan that escaped your lips. Oh well, you had to deal with one thing at a time. Setting course once more for Peter and Sam, you walked towards their direction.

You halted in your steps as you heard a people chanting your name. You shifted your behind to look for the source of the sound. Sure enough, you saw Wanda and Vision glowing with happiness, while Natasha was sulking with Steve behind her.

“Y/N, how lovely to see that there are still some good in this world.” Natasha ran to you and started clinging on to you like a koala bear.

“What happened?” You’ve been asking a lot of questions this morning, you noticed that for sure.

“Wanda’s been using her power to win our volleyball tournament.” Natasha glared at Wanda, who was laughing uncontrollably.

Wanda’s giggles subsided after a moment. “You just don’t know how to play.”

“Wanda, honey, I’d die for you, I’d kill for you. But if you distract Steve again by tricking him that Sharon’s here, I’ll just plain kill you.” Natasha growled, still pouting by your side.

“Y/N! Y/N! I have made the greatest invention yet!”

You turned around to see Tony jogging to you with a puppy-sized crab in his hold. You immediately flung your hand to stop him, “Tony, no! Put the crab down!”

“Y/N, you don’t understand. This is Bruce.” He smiled at you as if that wasn’t the most ridiculous thing that ever came out of his mouth. “I have achieved the greatest prize in life. I successfully turned Dr. Banner into a crab.”

Before you could reply, Bucky came up to you, patting your shoulder softly. Then he showed you numerous cooked eggs on his metal arm, “Want some, Y/N?”

You shook your head softly, sinking into the sand as you did so. The Avengers bent down, asking if you were okay, you replied with a mere smile.

“When this is all over, I want my sanity back.”

(tag list: @not-jk-rowling)

#avengers fanfiction #avengers fluff #avengers x reader #avengers x you #avengers imagine #avengers #fluffy #imagine #bucky barnes #bruce banner #tony stark #clint barton #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #vision #thor odinson #loki laufeyson #thor #loki #black widow #captain america #hawkeye #peter parker #spiderman #sam wilson #steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #bucky barnes imagine #natasha romanoff imagine #thor imagine

[boschlingtumbles]

Chapter 40

Cersei opened her eyes as the makeup artist stepped back and surveyed her reflection critically. She had always been beautiful—that was vanity, that was reality. But this creature in the mirror was something else. Cersei smirked, and the mirror girl turned it into a shy smile. Cersei made a note to give the makeup artist an extra large tip.

The other girls were getting ready in the adjoining room. Cersei felt an uncharacteristic twinge of guilt, upon seeing how extraordinarily awesome she looked. Like maybe the pink poofy dresses had been a touch unnecessary. Stop that, she told mirror Cersei sternly. Second guessing is for losers.

But second guessing or not, her over the top transformation left her feeling in the zone. There had been a few hiccups along the way—Robert was supposed to have been here at least thirty minutes ago, Aunt Genna was haggling over their contribution with a septa downstairs—but Cersei felt coolly prepared to deal with any issues that might arise.

“Cersei?” Catelyn Tully poked her head in for a moment. “Do you mind if we talk?”

Cersei gave a gracious wave to the chair across from her.

“I was—wow, you look fantastic,” Catelyn did a double take. 

She did. She really really did.

“So here’s the thing...”

She looked like somebody had taken the oozing surface of the sun hot sex appeal of Ashara Dayne and the wide-eyed Bambi sweetness of Elia Martell, bottled them up and shook, then served cold in an Elsa from Frozen mold.

“and I don’t think it is fair or kind to be spreading those kinds of rumors. People could get hurt. People DID get hurt,” Catelyn said firmly, looking at her.

Okay, Cersei might have lost the thread of this conversation.

“Jon will have a tough enough time growing up without this kind of nonsense following him every step of the way.”

Oh! This was about Alerie and Mace and their terrible and scurrilous rumor about her soon-to-be-husband’s best man. Cersei beamed benevolently.

“I couldn’t agree more,” she said warmly.

“Um, good, I’m glad we’re on the same page,” Catelyn said tentatively.

“Plans are in place to deal with them, don’t you worry,” Cersei assured her.

“Them? Wait, who are you talking about, I’m talking about you—“

“Alerie and Mace Tyrell spread that dreadful rumor about Ned and Ashara,” Cersei explained patiently. Honestly, sometimes she wondered if Catelyn was quite as intelligent as everyone seemed to think. “But don’t worry, I’ve arranged to teach them a lesson they won’t forget any time soon.”

“I don’t think we need to go overboard, I mean the best revenge is living well right? So as long as we make sure Jon is isolated from this kind of nonsense...” Catelyn was backtracking frantically.

The best revenge is living well?! Please, the best revenge is revenge, Cersei thought. This is why the Catelyns is the world needed people like her. To do what was necessary.

“It’s all been taken care of,” Cersei said soothingly, like she might have said to Tyrion long ago when he was being bullied. “They won’t be putting a foot wrong any time soon.”

“Do I even want to know?” Catelyn winced.

“I have arranged to give them both... vanilla wedding cake,” Cersei said with a dramatic flourish. She paused, waiting for a gasp.

“Oh, okay, that’s fine,” Catelyn said, looking bemused.

No, it wasn’t fine, it was BRILLIANT! Everybody knew the base layer of the wedding cake was reserved for the lowest denominator of wedding guest. Certainly a grasping little social climber like Alerie Tyrell did. She would get her slice of cake and it would be a terrible snub in front of all the people she most wanted to impress. Cersei had bumped Olenna Tyrell from the chocolate second tier up to the lemon-raspberry third tier to make her point even clearer. Alerie would be humiliated at the social event of the year, and spend months groveling to Cersei to get back into her good graces. 

As for Mace... well, he just really liked cake. Plain vanilla was probably the worst hand he’d been dealt since cafeteria lunches.

“I think your family just drove up,” Brienne poked her head in. Excellent.

Cersei greeted them as they entered the courtyard, enjoying the heads turning as she floated through the sept. It was only family at this early hour of course. She wouldn’t risk just anybody catching a glimpse of her and ruining her grand entrance at the ceremony.

“Cersei, a word?” Varys materialized and she favored him with a smile as they walked briskly toward the front.

“Hoster Tully arrived early. I had him turned away from the building of course, that it was only wedding party in the main sept until thirty minutes beforehand, but he is on the grounds,” Varys began. “Baelish has been working nonstop to spread those rumors about Ned Stark and Ashara Dayne. He’s still pissy about not getting the invitation I presume.” Cersei rolled her eyes. “I’ll keep the press scrum away from the bridesmaids, I just wanted to keep you apprised.”

“Any sign of Robert?”

“No but his parents checked in just now, according to my contact in security.”

“Hmmm well keep Hoster away from the bridesmaids too. Nothing to be done about Baelish at the moment,” unlike the original authors of that particular rumor, “but I’ll deal with him later.”

“Your Aunt Genna has reduced a sept to tears,” Varys consulted his notes.

“Send Uncle Gerion to deal with her, he’s good at that sort of thing.”

“Garth Greenhands is complaining that you stiffed him on the engagement flowers.”

“Give him an extra thousand to keep him happy, we can always take it out of future services.”

As Cersei effortlessly batted back every problem, she felt it again, that the entire arc of the universe was bending exactly according to her plan. 

“Excuse me, I see my family,” she gave Varys a dazzling smile, and such was her amplified charm that even the perpetually impassive Varys was forced to smile back. 

Jaime and her father both looked perfect. Cersei embraced each lightly, fantasizing about how gorgeous their photos would be. With Ellyn Tarbeck glowering across the camera from him, Tywin Lannister might even smile. 

And then came the gremlin. As with most people, Cersei’s gaze first hit the top of his head before drifting downward. The challenging smirk immediately tipped her off that something was wrong, and as she looked down she saw it. It. The hideous monstrosity that could only be described as the world’s ugliest tie. 

“Is that... a tie?” She managed, reeling at the tackiness. At least she hadn’t made her bridesmaids wear a fabric of THAT.

“It’s a fuck-you-for-ruining-my-life,” Tyrion growled, and they exchanged cold stare. “Look, it lights up!”

That... monster. What did he want from her?! He was a terrorist! A wedding terrorist!

Uncle Gerion came over, somewhat diffusing the situation, and then Jaime left to track down Brienne. As Gerion and Tywin exchanged a rapid fire exchange about Lannister Corp’s expansion into Yi Ti, Cersei stared down Tyrion. How dare he interrupt her flow?! Everything had been going so smoothly!

“Take it off!” Cersei finally snapped.

“No,” Tyrion shrugged. “It’s high time you learned that there are things beyond your control.”

Cersei stomped her foot.

“I can’t believe this is still about that stupid girl! She didn’t like you like that! I was saving you from getting hurt!”

“She didn’t have a chance to like me like that! And you can’t do this, just snap your fingers and have everybody marching to your tune! You’re turning into father!”

“She would have never liked you like that! She was a pretty bimbo who would have never been able to meet you at your level and you deserve so much more than that!”

“What makes you think I have anywhere near the choices that you seem to think I do?! Have you noticed that I’m four foot four?!”

“And you deserve someone who will take the time to get to know you beyond being a fun story to tell their mates! I know that girl, I know her type. She could never be the kind of girl who could deserve you. Who would appreciate how smart you are and how funny you are and that you have really good taste in wine,” Cersei found she was digging her nails into her palms. “Maybe I will never be able to convince you that there’s a girl out there who can do that, but I don’t have to convince you. I just have to scare away all the others until she shows up.”

“Gods Cersei,” Tyrion groaned, squeezing the bridge of his nose. “We got so close to having a moment. Why do you have to be such a sociopath?!”

“TAKE OFF THAT TIE BEFORE I STRANGLE YOU WITH IT!”

“I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!”

“Cersei, Tyrion.” 

Their fight ended with the chilly admonish from their father, as most of their fights did.

Cersei huffed, glaring. This was wrong. The fucking tie was wrong. Didn’t he see? If he didn’t take it off, their photos wouldn’t be perfect. And if their photos weren’t perfect, the wedding wouldn’t be perfect. And if the wedding wasn’t perfect, NOTHING WOULD BE PERFECT!

“Cersei, I need to talk to you,” Tywin said stiffly. “Let’s walk toward the gardens.”

Behind him, Tyrion stuck his tongue out and she drew her perfectly manicured finger across her neck in response.

“This way, Cersei,” Tywin repeated patiently, ushering her away as if she were a recalcitrant child. 

Cersei tried to breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth as she fantasized a thousand different ways to murder the tie. In a shredder, in a fire, slowly dissolved in a bucket of bleach, it lit up so there were wires that could be painstakingly stripped and then unwound and then each individual copper thread diced with a chopping knife into a thousand tiny pieces...

“Cersei, I love you.”

Cersei stopped short, and her father turned. They stood like that awkwardly separate, her father half facing her and half facing away. Had Tywin ever said that? She knew on some rational objective level that he loved her, that he loved all of them, but it was only ever felt as an undercurrent passing through, there for a second in his behavior and then gone.

Tywin took a deep breath, apparently unsure how to proceed.

“Being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, Cersei. It is exhausting and overwhelming and there are no maps and no certainty that any mistake you make won’t irreparably scar the thing you love most in this world. And being a single parent is incredibly lonely. It is not something I would have ever chosen. It was forced upon me through painful, near unendurable circumstance. Frankly, it is not something I would wish on anybody. And you are so much like me, Cersei. I do see that. To see you making that choice blindly, making it without any sense of what it could mean, for you, for your child... I just couldn’t let you do it.”

Cersei felt cold and somehow remote, like she was looking down at the two of them as a bystander in her own body.

“I thought, isn’t that a part of love? To keep your children from making mistakes, to spare them from hardship, and then it was so easy to pressure Robert to propose to you and pressure you to say yes. But I’ve had a number of conversations over the last few weeks that make me wonder if my strategy weren’t fundamentally misguided.”

My strategy was fundamentally misguided, the CEO told his stockholders, not the father told the daughter fucking FORTY-FIVE MINUTES BEFORE THE WEDDING!

“I don’t know what choices will bring you happiness, Cersei. Robert certainly has his short-comings, and though I would give anything to have your mother back, I can’t promise he will be the partner she was. And... maybe if there’s a mistake to be made, it should be your mistake to make. I don’t have any right to take that choice from you,” Tywin swallowed painfully.

“What are you saying?” Cersei said, and her voice came out thin and tremulous and childlike and she hated it.

“You will have a seat on the board of Lannister Corp at thirty. You always had it.”

“You want me to call off the wedding? People are coming, we’ve already spent all the money, think of what the papers will say...”

“I want you to do what you want to do,” Tywin cut her off, the words crisp and precise. “You will have my utmost support either way. I don’t give a damn what it costs and none of us, not me, not you, not your baby will give a damn what people say. We are Lannisters.”

And on that note, he straightened and walked away.

Cersei blinked, feeling like if she took a step in either direction, she might fall. That the world had gone atilt somehow, that things weren’t at the angle they should be. She didn’t have to marry Robert. She’d never had to marry Robert. Did she want to?

She swallowed and looked up at the arching glass window of the sept. That alien reflection looked back, the beautiful bride. Was it even her? It looked like her and it didn’t, one possible refraction of what she could be.

I love Robert, came the voice, small and quiet, into the stillness. And she did. It was so easy with him, and he’d always seen her for exactly who she was and it had never bothered him. He might have even loved her more for it. But it’s not like she would never see him again if they didn’t get married, another voice said impatiently. And she was Cersei Lannister, she’d never needed anyone in her entire life. She didn’t need his family and she didn’t need his money, and so what if that dopey grin of his elicited something fragile and fluttery from her.  

Cersei took another deep steadying breath. Her reflection watched her, waiting for the decision.

Her phone rang. She almost trembled in relief, fumbling for it with suddenly clumsy fingers. It was Varys with the guest list, or maybe Robert had finally gotten here or maybe Brienne—it was her doctor’s office.

Right, she’d scheduled her first ultrasound a smidge on the early side—sixteen weeks—to avoid having to deal with it during the wedding whirlwind. Just checking in with her favorite girl! Cersei rested a hand on the biscuit, still thankfully invisible.

“Hello, this is Cersei Lannister,” Cersei answered the phone in bland professional tones.

“Miss Lannister, it’s Nan Winters calling from Dr. Luwin’s office. We have the results of the ultrasound—it says here in my notes you didn’t want to wait for them because you had an appointment?”

“Yes, quite right,” Cersei said briskly. These doctors were so anal about holding your hand through every moment. Like she had time to hang around and wait for some technician to develop images of her uterus.

“Well everything looks perfect,” Nan Winters said warmly. “Absolutely nothing you should be worried about.” 

Cersei let out a breath. At least one thing managing to not be an issue.

“Actually, I have some good news,” Nan continued.

“Hmm?”

“It’s not always possible, especially in these first early ultrasounds, but we were able to determine the gender of your baby. That is, assuming you want to know.”

Cersei glanced down at biscuit. Her perfect little girl, her Genna Joanna Lannister-Baratheon, with her perfect golden curls and green eyes. She had already given Westerling instructions on saving the August edition of Vogue. It was little Genna’s first photo shoot after all.

“Of course,” Cersei said to Nan, imagining how she would frame it in the nursery. She had gone with a princess theme, but she was open to redoing it if her little girl wanted something more STEM oriented. She had found the cutest pink solar system mobile the other day, but she could also do like a jungle theme and get her little safari outfits and a stuffed elephant... She could practically see her, Genna Joanna Lannister-Baratheon, long-legged and coltish like when Cersei had been a girl, a red bandana around her neck and braids swinging under her pith helmet.

“Congratulations, it’s a baby boy,” Nan Winters said.

What? The picture perfect image in her head cracked ominously, like glass.

“What?” Cersei said. “Are you sure?”

“Quite sure,” Nan laughed. “It’s easier to confirm it’s a boy than to confirm it’s a girl you know. And he’s a big one!”

Genna Joanna Lannister-Baratheon crumbled into shards.

Cersei sat down on the grass, wedding dress be damned.

A boy. She was having a baby boy. And not just any baby boy, her eyes suddenly welled up. A big one, Nan had said. The new image didn’t look like Cersei at all. It didn’t even look like Jaime or Tyrion. It raised a chubby hand and waved, its mop of thick black hair bouncing. It was a baby Robert.

No. No no no no no. She couldn’t do this. This was not the plan. It was supposed to be her baby! Cersei took a gasping breath. Why did she feel like she wasn’t getting enough oxygen? She didn’t have a baby name! The nursery wasn’t blue! What did boys like? Jaime had always liked what she had liked. Tyrion had liked... Cersei screwed her face up trying to recall. Dragons. Tyrion had liked dragons. A hiccup of a sob shook her frame. Dragons were so dumb!

And he would be loud. Gods, he would be Robert loud. Cersei could remember Robert as a child. And even just the memory sent a shiver of disgust down her spine. Loud and dirty. Robert pushing Jaime in the mud, Robert breaking her Barbie and laughing. Robert and his stupid temper tantrums that would get them all in trouble. 

Cersei had to get away. She staggered to her feet, looking around wildly. Nobody could see her like this. Everything was spinning out of control and it was all wrong and nothing was happening like she’d planned. Cersei was done. The end, game over, tapping out. Facing her expectant audience of thousands. For my first and last trick... a vanishing act.