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charmercharm3r · 9 months

Text

Make Love, Not Porn

Play Time!

HHJ

Masterlist, Series Masterlist

18+ content — minors, do not interact.

wc: 3.8k

Synopsis: You crave a life of normalcy, he craves you. And he'd do anything to keep you, even if you're for the world to see.

warnings: barista!hyunjin x cam girl!reader, smut, explicit sexual content, masturbation (m, f), he's a little obsessed, easing into the smuttier smut if that's even a thing.

Live : Play Time!

Next Scheduled Broadcast : Heat Signature

☆ﾟ

Rule number one; everybody is temporary.

There is no love in this industry, no trust, no friends, only coworkers that all want the same thing. Sometimes you work with them more than once, other times– most times, it’s a one-and-done deal.

They never want to stay anyways, you learned that lesson the hard way. It’s why you set up such a tough wall to break through, there’s no point in befriending anyone on your side of the pond.

It’s scary, really, how quickly you can be moaning someone’s name, kissing them like you need them to breathe, touching and feeling them as intimately as someone who truly was in love. Then as soon as the livestream ends, you can’t remember what their lips feel like and everything smells like latex and sweat. You offer them some water, snacks, a shower. They usually decline. Minutes later, your front door is shutting and you’re alone once again.

No one ever intends on getting into porn, you don’t even remember the details on how you ended up here. Your follower count had risen overnight and before you knew it, that one video had gotten you more money in a week than a month’s worth of minimum wage ever did. The humiliation was nonexistent considering you hadn’t even posted yourself naked that first time, if anything you were excited to post again. Who knew a video of you just sitting in a chair, playing with yourself under your skirt with your knees pressed closed would take off so rapidly. That thirty second video changed your life.

– fuck, who is this?? are they new??

– thats so hot. face reveal?

– show us your tits

– god i wanna fuck u so bad

– suck my dick pls

Those comments didn’t bother you, it was a little flattering if you were being honest with yourself. People wanted you, they don’t even know your real name, have never seen your face or what you look like in the sunlight. They don’t know you and yet, you’re everything to them, so much so that they pay you for your time, and body. They fill your wallet just for you to read their comment out loud, attention whores for you. And you love it. For some reason, their praise is much more fulfilling than anyone you've guested on your livestreams.

Recently, though, you’ve stopped bringing people on, not much to your viewer’s disapproval. There was more interaction and less vulgarity, like they wanted you to actually speak to them rather than just stuff your pussy with whatever new dildo you’d been gifted in your PO box.

You hadn’t planned on having such a personal stream today, you honestly just wanted the relief and thought your viewers would have a good time. But for some reason, the comments were less about getting you to take your clothes off and more about why your voice was shaking.

“It’s okay, I’m okay. Really!” Even you could hear the subtle octave change. “If you wanted me to cry, you could’ve just said please. You know I’ll do anything for you.”

Perhaps the forced sultriness of your voice worked its charm, the comments quickly switched back to their normal obscenities once you started to unbutton your top. Truthfully, you preferred when they asked you to get naked, it was a lot easier to do than to admit what it was you were really lacking. Honest companionship is the rarest thing.

Rule number two: no identifying features.

Even if you weren’t ashamed, your job is still taboo. No one and everyone knew what it was you did. Your best friend helped you pick lingerie and background mood lighting, your parents thought you were an office worker. Strangers have seen your most private parts, you only allow your grandma to give you a kiss on the cheek during Christmas. Safe to say your occupation was strictly need-to-know.

You’re glad you started live streaming before deciding to get any tattoos, running the risk of someone stopping you in the middle of the street was the most terrifying thing you could imagine happening. Naturally, you avoided getting anything at all once your streams started to really take off.

There was nothing you wore to accessorize unless a patron paid for it in advance, that was always done a week before streams and the contact with the patron was never more than a simple google form and an email from your business account to confirm. Other than that, you were a blank canvas, just a body with a voice that left more to the imagination than you would think. If your viewers were happy, you were happy.

“What do you think of my new nail color? A special someone picked it out for me,” you held out your hands to display the pretty shine, twiddling your fingers. The comments went crazy, “no, no, not anyone like that, c’mon! You know you’re my number one. But I think you should all give lovely user callingherdaddy a thank you for picking it out. Thank you, sir.”

You took the polish off the next morning.

Rule number three: be consistent.

Nothing kills a steady income more than ghosting the ones that put the money in your pocket. You stuck to a strict schedule of three streams every week and frequent posts on your socials. The stuff you posted on your social media wasn’t even related to your work on camming, but it doesn’t hurt when they leave a couple nice comments.

With a schedule and job like yours, you need a little bit of normalcy. Self employed, you don’t have a real routine when you aren’t streaming. It was starting to make you feel lazy, a bit lethargic, and overall unmotivated.

It wasn’t until recently did you decide to start doing normal people things, like waking up at 7 a.m., doing a mini work out, grocery shopping in the morning, even getting yourself a coffee from the shop near your house as a treat. Doing this was nice, you felt good, your head was clearer. Hell, you even got excited when it came time to do your cams because you felt so full of energy.

You had only been to the coffee shop once or twice before, but to get yourself to keep the routine, you told yourself you’d go every day for the next two weeks. Afterall, it only takes 21 days to form a habit.

It was packed, as usual for a morning weekday. There were only about six baristas working, all scurrying about the bar to get through the morning rush. You liked watching them, mindlessly completing drinks in such a way that made you a little jealous. Most of them seemed your age, obviously you knew that they couldn’t have all had perfect lives, but at least this part of their day was something they could openly complain about.

Were you really jealous? Of normal people? You had to be insane.

Shaking your head, you walked further into the shop and waited in line. You thought nothing of it, placing your order, “iced chai with three blonde shots, please,” and handed the barista the card, “thank you.”

You barely looked up at him, only when he held onto your card a little longer as you tried to take it back did you make eye contact. A little awkward, the barista was staring at you with wide eyes. He was handsome, too handsome to be working behind the counter. Long black hair framed his face nicely, pretty plump lips, and an endearing little mole under his eye that made his siren stare only slightly less intimidating. Yeah, handsome.

He didn’t look away even after he let you take your card back.

“S– sorry. You look like–”

“It’s okay. Thanks again.” You hurried away as fast as you could. He couldn’t have known who you were, right? Not a chance, you have never shown your face. You were wearing too many clothes for any particular body part to be recognizable. It’s just a coincidence.

Either way, the minor interaction with the barista scared you into hiding again, forgetting going out for anything else you had planned and deciding to hole away at home.

You had a livestream to do later anyways, focus on that. There were a few hours left for you to kill before turning on the camera, now would be as good a time as any to set up.

It wasn’t much that you did, mostly just thinking of what it was you thought viewers would like to see for the day. An hour before the scheduled stream, you set up a waiting room on the website that hinted at what the day’s theme would be. Today you thought you’d go a little easy on the eyes; “live soon, hardcandysweetheart: play time! <3”

A typical stream would start off soft, greeting viewers like any other meeting. You’d ask how their day was, if there was anything in particular they wanted to do or talk about, some answered genuinely while others urged you to strip. You liked the ones that asked you how your day was, too, and enjoyed sharing your thoughts with them. Though, it was no secret what everyone was here for, even if sometimes– just sometimes, you liked what came before taking off your clothes more than anything.

“I have a few things in mind for play time today, I’d like to hear what you guys think. Would you prefer this,” in your hand, you held up your favorite vibrator, big and baby pink. “Or this?” in the other, a new grinder that resembled the shape of a tentacle with the sucker-side up.

Comment section didn’t slow down as soon as you showed the second toy. “I thought you might like this one. I got it just for you! I’m excited to try it out with you.”

– im so fucking hard

– i wanna see ur pussy

– thats so nice, ur sweet

“Slow down! Haha, we’re gonna take our time,” you laughed away the weird feeling in your chest as you read the fleeing comments. “You’re so impatient today, lovely. Did you have a hard day? I know I did,” you slowly peeled down the blouse you wore, letting it hang off your shoulders to expose your bare shoulders. It seemed redundant to wear a bra, but you kept the shirt covering your breasts for dramatic effect, hard nipples peaking through.

“I just wanna take it a little more… gentler, if that’s alright.” The camera was angled to cut off at your neck to avoid showing your face, but you bit your lip anyways as you held up the grinder. “It’s a little out of my comfort zone, honestly. I’ve never told you about this fantasy before.” You ran your finger down the rubber center, feeling the many little suction cups bend.

You giggled as you came to the swirled tip of the tentacle, playing with the way it curled and how pliable it was. “When I ordered this, they let me choose the color. I think pink suits me, don’t you? But I also thought, maybe blue? Or black… but then it would be too hard for you to see, right?”

As you spoke, you laid the grinder between your legs but not quite touching it. With two fingers, you stroked it the same way you would your own pussy. Your other free hand was doing just that right behind the toy and beneath the length of your shirt, feeling your wetness building up with your hand down your panties. “Oh my, just talking to you– my underwear is soaked!” The giggle that left your lips was genuine, you didn’t expect to work yourself up so quickly.

You stole your fingers from your cunt and showed it to the camera, spreading them to let your viewers see the slick coating shine in the soft lighting. “Heh, told ya I was excited. You make me like this.”

When you started to really get going it was hard to pay attention to the comments, you tended to get a little lost until you finally came. Like now, you brought the toy closer to your core, lightly lifting yourself to sit on it. As soon as you did, you let out a whimper.

Hyunjin had never felt so embarrassed in his life. He doesn’t even know why, he couldn’t have been sure of anything.

Except he was. He was 100% sure, plus another 10% for good measure. He hadn’t even known about the site for long, you were just his favorite. He’d found hardcandysweetheart and never bothered to look anywhere else.

You were just another customer at first, a pretty one that caught his attention. He noticed you in line and had every intention of flirting and possibly asking for you to sign up for the rewards program with them just so he could use that as an excuse to get your number. Then you spoke.

All you fucking did was speak. “Please,” and “thank you,” and Hyunjin fucking crumbled.

Jesus, he must have looked like an idiot. He knows he did, but he was star struck. Fanboying, red in the face with embarrassment, about to fold at the knees, and hard as a fucking rock all at the same time. He had to excuse himself to the restroom as soon as you left just to get his boner to go away.

If it really was you– and he hoped to god it wasn’t– he’ll never forget such a pretty face.

Which is why he turned on notifications for your stream. He knew your schedule by heart but he needed to be sure that it was your voice he heard. As soon as he got home from his shift, clothes came off and he was sat in bed with his laptop nearby, just waiting for the ping notification from you.

God, it was you. As soon as he heard you through his headphones, it confirmed what he already knew.

What a kind voice, supple, soft, he could listen to you for hours– he has listened to you for hours. Sometimes he wished you could do live streams of just you talking, you never even had to take your clothes off. Now that he knew what you looked like, Hyunjin’s heartbeat faster than it ever did when you made conversation.

It was the way you did, as though you were speaking to him and only him. The image he created of you in his head looked like it was thought up by a child in comparison to seeing you in real life. He could put a face to the voice now, he wasn’t even thinking about your body. Just your voice.

“You make me like this,” you said in almost a whisper, tone cracking just a little the more you sat on the toy.

Hyunjin couldn’t help but palm at himself, not entirely stroking but moving at the same pace. This was a team effort, in his mind. You made him crazy, as he did to you. That was his fantasy. You always spoke with so much love in your voice, as though you truly cared for him and it got him harder than any other kind of porn ever could.

Was that really all it took? Was he that pathetic? Someone who didn’t even know who he was, talking to an ocean of people that all saw the same thing he did, and suddenly it’s the only thing that can make him cum.

He can’t even complain now, he’s seen you. That’s enough spank bank to last him a lifetime if you ever suddenly decided to stop camming. Shit– he hopes he didn’t just manifest that into existence.

The white button up top draped in front of your cunt to hide away from view. That’s alright, you said you were taking it slow today. Your hips slowly pushed forward and back, hands gripping tightly at the armrests of your uncomfortable looking desk chair. Hyunjin thought it was kind of cute how you would still cam in the same seat as you did when he found your first video.

His laptop on his abdomen concealed the view of his cock leaking, but the way you were sat on screen, he could envision it was him you were sitting on instead. That’s exactly what he imagined as you rocked faster into the toy, lifting your shirt and balling it in your fist to show that your wetness had spread to the front of your panties. Hyunjin didn’t even mind that the bold pink tentacle blocking a bit of the view, you were getting so into it that he hardly noticed anymore.

Hyunjin fumbled to find his dick, slowly beginning to squeeze the head as you turned to shorter and quicker ruts towards the front of the toy where the tentacle curled up. You moaned loudly, making him do so as well in return. “Fuck, I ruined this pair, didn’t I?”

Your cute laugh had Hyunjin breaking out into a smirk, “that’s okay,” he whispered to no one but himself.

“I should take it off but,” you rolled your hips again with a whine, “I kinda want you to work for it.”

The tips in the corner of the page were pinging like crazy as soon as you said that. He himself tapped the button rapidly and paid no mind to how his account balance shot down.

“C’mon now, don’t be shy. It’s just one little word that I wanna hear. I’ll say it first, if that makes you feel better.” The speed of your hips picked up a little, in turn Hyunjin let his fist slowly work up and down, no faster than you, of course.

“Please. Please, is the word I’m looking for, lovely. Say it, just once.”

Fuck, he couldn’t help speeding up just a little. He loved the way you said it, even more the way you commanded him to say it as well. “Please,” the whimper came out breathy and uneven as the precum lubricated his cock more.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Hyunjin shook his head, no.

“No, it wasn’t. Look what happens when you ask nicely,” you stood from your seat just to pull off the flimsy fabric, sitting fully back down on the toy and holding up the soaked pair with another chuckle. “You get nice things.”

Hyunjin could hear how wet you really were now, every lewd sound that came from you rubbing yourself back and forth on the grinder. You still didn’t let him– them– see you fully. He wasn’t even sure if you’d expose yourself at all this stream. Still, his fist picked up speed as you did, taking in every grunt you let out when you’d hit a particularly good spot. Hyunjin kept his eyes on you the whole time, memorizing the way you moved, what angle made you tick.

“C’mon lovely, I know you can do better than that.”

You were referring to the tip counter, but Hyunjin took it as he can do better than that. His other hand reached around the laptop, down to cup his balls as he worked his cock faster, occasionally running his fingers over the head for a break in stimulation. Somehow he managed to stop touching himself for a split second to rapid fire extra tips when they slowed down.

“Oh, someone wants a little extra attention today. What do I call you, lovely?” Hyunjin wasn’t sure if you were speaking to him, though he hoped and typed a nickname anyways. “Baby? That’s cute. Thank you, baby, you’re so sweet.”

His hand instantly returned to his dick, not caring about the speed anymore, instead wanting to cum to the sound of your voice. He quickly tapped the tip button a few more times and you giggled, “baby, you’re spoiling me. Here, since you’re being so nice,” you lifted the hem of your shirt to put your bare cunt on display, seemingly tucking the end of it into your mouth.

Hyunjin could see it so clearly, your pretty lips drooling onto the fabric, biting it to contain the moans that wanted to slip past. Fuck, he was going insane, wet, slick noises from his animalistic fisting on his cock almost surpassing the volume of your voice in his headphones.

He just watched now, listened intently to how good you were making yourself feel and it made his body light a fire. You were clearly getting closer as well, forgetting the dirty talk and humping away at the toy with little to no regard for who was watching. Hyunjin loved this side of you the most, when you couldn’t think of anything other than the impending pleasure. He could imagine your eyes rolling back, the furrow in your brow and beads of sweat dripping down your temples as you came nearer to falling over the edge. Your hands moved to grip the edge of the seat, aiding in pushing your body forward and back harder against the grinder and Hyunjin was jerking himself with a hotter fervor. Your muffled cries echoed in his head– he was making you feel like this, he was the one you were using to please yourself, he was the one you thought of as you came all over his cock.

Hyunjin suddenly held his breath and let his release take over his body, squeezing and pumping the tip of his cock as he spurt his seed all over his stomach and back of his computer. By the time he’d come to, opened his eyes, and regained his breath, you were slumped back in your chair and panting heavily. He missed your grand finale, but that was okay with him, you came at the same time. Even in post nut clarity, he wanted to hear your voice. More than that, he wanted to hold you, run his fingers through your hair, kiss you until you were breathless all over again.

Hyunjin’s shaky hand found the tip button again and tapped.

“Thank you, baby.” He smiled.

You groaned and found the strength to steal the toy from your aching cunt, holding it up for the camera to see it glistening with your essence. Laughing, “this was fun, wasn’t it? I enjoyed myself, I might have to buy more of these.” You tossed it onto the desk and suddenly seemed shy, tugging your shirt as far down as you could without exposing more skin. “Until next time, lovely. I’ll miss you.” You waved your dainty fingers at the camera, doing your signature sign off, and the screen went black.

Hyunjin’s head fell back into his pillows, staring at the ceiling trying to understand all the emotions he just rushed through.

He couldn’t compute them even if he tried. All he knew was that he was excited to go to work tomorrow morning, hoping that whatever god heard his plea, begging that you’ll come in.

When he went to shut his laptop, his fingers smeared the warm mess that was slowly dripping. “Fuck— ew,” and he hurried to clean up, alone once again.

☆ﾟ

tags: @sensitiveandhungry @babebatter @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules @djeniryuu @hamburgers101 @skzhomiehopper @yesv01 @hyunjinsamdl @dazzlingligth @alexis-reads-fics @linaliskz @0002linoskitten @chillichillicrabcrab23 @zerefdragn33l @straycrescent @binnies-donuts @soldierstangirl-blog @bakedlilgoonie @levanterlily @shelbyyy44 @yeetmehome @in2heartz @astroodledream @the-sweetest-rose @goblinracha @lilbugs-things @viviennenstan @staurdvst @alex--awesome--22 @imzenning @jeyelleohe @iadorethemskz @skyvastbunny @mamabymychem @katsukis1wife @woozarts @noellllslut

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lovingmattysposts · 5 months

Text

Do you think he knows?

summary: you just became popular on YouTube and you just moved to LA and you were invited on one of your favorite podcasts, The Zach Sang Show. Everything was great until he brought up a little crush of yours that you gushed about that the beginning of your career, which caused you to light up in embarrassment hoping to god he never saw anything you’ve said about him.

warnings: Just fluff, mentions of drinking/ being sober

"Next topic" Zach said through the microphone. I just smiled and looked over to him as he looked down at the sheet in front of him.

My friend, Sarah and I had been growing rapidly on youtube and our podcast that we had. We made vlogs and just filmed some funny moment that happened throughout our lives, and people actually tuned in and listened. Which shocked me. 20K viewers turned in 100K viewers and we were now sitting at almost a million subscribers on youtube and an average of 800K-1M views per video.

We had just offically moved to LA a month ago and were still settling into everything. It was all very exciting and this was the first time were appearing on someone else's podcast and I was nervous to say the least. When we were first invited on the podcast, The Zach Sang Show, of all places, I debated on going or not, but ultimately we decided it would be best to further our career. So here we were, sitting here doing someone else's podcast.

The first few questions were easy. Just basically talking about the come up of our career, how we got here, how we met, etc. I felt better having Sarah here by my side, I didn't know what I would do if all of the attention on me. I was just happy not too many personal questions were asked so far.

"Chris Sturniolo" Zach said directing his attention to me. I took in a breath, attempting not to show on my face the embarrassment that began to arise.

I was so excited when we first started blowing up. I never really thought we would go anywhere, just making silly little videos to look back on, so that persuaded me to say whatever came to mind. Including my huge crush on Christopher Sturniolo. In our earlier videos, I would go on and on about how attractive I thought he was. How funny I thought he was. How I would marry that man in a heartbeat.

This caused many of the Sturniolo triplet fans to be directed towards our videos. Clips of me gushing over new instagram posts of him, going viral on TikTok. The comments being filled with their fan base saying things like, "She gets it" or "Me too girl".

Once we started to blow up even more I started to calm down my obsessive tendencies. I knew that since our faces were starting to pop up around more and more, I would die of embarrassment if Chris came across any of those clips. I wasn't stalker-obsessed. I'd seen a few of their videos, seen a few clips on TikTok, which like many other girls across the globe made me start taking an interest in Chris.

I didn't know everything that's ever happened in his life or anything. I just saw his face, seen him say some funny shit, and was like "Yep love of my life" and that was it. Kind of like people's crushes on Liam Hemsworth and Jacob Elordi. It didn't go far past seeing funny or attractive clips of them.

To this day, I still didn't know if Chris had seen anything i've said about him and honestly I really didn't want to know.

Sarah looked over at me, raising her eyebrow a smile on her face. I shook my head and looked down, feeling my face start to burn up.

"You've been pretty open with your past relationship history in your videos, which is why many of your fans love you guys. For your open and honest thoughts" He said looking down at the sheet in front of him.

"y/n, you've never actually been in a relationship before?" He asked looking at me. I sighed and nodded. "I've been in positions of potential relationships before, but they all treated me like shit. So i've just kinda voided the whole thing off. I don't think it's ever gonna happen for me. I've definitely been hurt enough in the past to where I'm not even looking to be in one" I said honestly nodded. Zach nodded smiling.

"You know we just had Chris on the show" he said. I sighed looking down smiling and shaking my head. "He had an answer very similar to yours" he stated. I looked over at Sarah who was smiling and biting the straw on her drink.

"Look" I breathed into the mic. "Chris is a very attrative young male, but I don't know anything about him really. He could be in a relationship for all I know. I'm not into stepping on anybody's toes" I laughed awkardly looking at him. He nodded looking down.

"You've mentioned in some of your past videos that you thought he was the most attractive man to walk the planet" Zach said making Sarah bust out laughing and push the mirophone out of the way. I hit her in the shoulder and shook my head.

Zach raised his eyebrows and looked at me. I avoided his eye contact attempting to wipe the smile across my face. "Do you still think that?" Zach asked looking at me. I pursed my lips. I took a deep breath as I leaned into the mic.

"Okay, I know I was a little obessive there for a minute, but I swear it wasn't in a creepy way. I just saw a cute guy popping up on my feed and was like "oh heyy"" I laughed into the mic.

"I don't even really know the guy that well" I shook my head. Zach smiled raising his eyebrows. "Are you sure? You’re blushing a little bit over there" He laughed. I shook my head smiling.

"Hello? Have you seen the guy? I still stand behind everything I've said. I just don't want to get attack by the fan base, I'm honestly scared of them. I really haven't seen that many of their videos" I said shaking my head.

"She plays their videos to fall asleep at night" Sarah said leaning into the mic. I glared over at her smiling. "She's lying!" I said shaking my head. "I'm kidding" Sarah laughed shaking her head. I was now blood red.

"Have you met him yet in person? I know you guys work with the same merch company" Zach stated. I smiled and nodded. "Wow you really did your research" I laughed. "That's my job" he said smiling. I shook my head.

"No, I haven't met him in person and If i'm being completely honest I think I'd run and hide. My 17 year old self had no filter" I laughed shaking my head.

"So what makes you feel an attraction to Chris rather than Matt per say?” Zach smiled and leaned back in his chair. I sighed. "I feel like from what I've seen Matt and I are very similar in the fact with dealing with mental health shit and kind of letting everyone else talk and being shy" I said looking at him.

"So I feel like Chris is like a breath of fresh air of not seeing myself in him. I wouldn't really want to be with someone exactly like me" I stated.

"Not that I think Matt isn't attractive or a great person, oh god i'm so scared of their fanbase" I shook my head quickly. Zach laughed. "In full honesty Nick is my favorite" I laughed. "But I don't know, In a weird way I feel like them being sober and me being sober and everything, It would just be nice to have someone like that especially in the LA scene where I feel like everyone is the same" I sighed. He nodded.

"So this is y/n’s offical application to be Chris Sturniolo's girlfriend" Sarah said into the mic. My eyes went wide and I pushed her. "It is not!" My face went red. Zach laughed.

"But yeah they are all attrative, clearly" I said holding out my hands and looking around. "But I think they are like genuine people, which is hard to find" I sighed. They nodded. "I agree" Sarah said into the mic, I nodding looking over at her and smiling.

"If you could go back and delete some of those clips of what you said about him, would you?" He asked looking at me. I took a deep breath before leaning into the mic.

"No, I wouldn't. As fucking insane as I sounded--" I laughed. "That's one of the main things that made us blow up, being relatable and such. Plus it made alot of his fan base find us, and I wouldn't give that up just to save myself future embarrassment. I also meant everything I said, I was young growing up--but it didn't mean I didn't feel the things I was saying. I think it's kind of sweet looking back and seeing those clips and seeing the emotions of it all. It reminds me of when I would obessive over bands and stuff when I was a kid" I smiled nodding.

Zach nodded smiling. "That's a sweet way of looking at it" he smiled. I shook my head laughing.

"Okay, now bring out Chris Sturniolo!" He yelled holding out his arm towards the door. My eyes went wide and I screamed covering my face with my hands, making Sarah and Zach laugh.

"I'm kidding. I'm kidding" He said into the mic. I looked up feeling my face heat up. "Zach, we're not friends anymore" I bit back a smile shaking my head, making him laugh.

"Next topic, please" I said shaking the smile off my face.

"How do I look?" Sarah asked running her fingers through her hair. I smiled at her. "Good, really good" I said looking her. She smiled letting out a breath. She looked over at me looking her up and down.

The Zach Sang episode went out last week, and low and behold the clip of me talking about Chris went viral. Out of everything I talked about, that's the one topic that gets millions of views. It helped out our fan base quite a lot actually, we gained almost 100K after that video posted, so I couldn't be that mad. I just could never look Chris Sturniolo in the eye and I was okay with that.

"You're not nervous at all?" She asked looking at me. I shrugged and then shook my head. "They are just people Sarah, just like us" I laughed as she nodded and took a deep breath.

It was our first ever influencer party ever. Familiar faces i've seen online crowded the room. It was weird seeing people I used to fan girl over in the same room as me, even speaking to me. It was something I never even imagined myself doing. But here we were.

I wasn't nervous it was weird. Maybe it was because we had just as many followers as some of the people around us.

"Did you see Vinnie Hacker was over there?" She gushed before closing her eyes and covering her mouth in excitement. I shook my head looking at her. "Calm down, this isn't a meet and greet. We're here to make connects so calm down" I said through gritted teeth. She took in a deep breath before nodding and smiling.

"Okay, Okay I'm calm" She nodded looking at me. I raised my eyebrows. "I am--I am look" She said pinching her fingers and taking in a slow breath and letting it out. I smiled and shook her as she attempted to mediatate in front of me.

She opened her eyes before they trailed behind me and she froze. I just looked at her. "What?" I asked. She stood frozen, staring behind me. "Did you see lil huddy or something?" I chuckled, but she didn't smile. "Sarah what?" I asked again looking at her. She glanced down at me, dropping her arms.

"The triplets are here" She said quietly. I felt all the blood leave my face. "What?" I asked quickly looking at her. She glanced behind me before quickly looking down at her feet. "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck" she said quickly placing her hands against her face. My heart started to beat out of my chest.

"Sarah what?" I whispered quickly. "We made eye contact, they are walking over here" She said looking up at me. My mouth dropped at I stared at her in disbelief. "What? No--Are-Are you sure--" I whispered looking at her. She lifted her head, before a smile came her face.

"Shut up, shut up" She whispered quickly under her breath as she raised her eyebrows, her attention turning to the people walking up to us. I stared at her, my eyes wide and anxiety filling my whole body.

"Hey"

I heard a male's voice say. I reluctantly looked up to see Nick staring down at her. I smiled up at him, slightly star struck from standing this close to him. I glanced over and saw Matt standing next to him and Chris standing next to Matt, all looking at me.

This was my worst nightmare.

"Y/n and Sarah right?" Nick smiling pointing between us. I took in a breath looking over at Sarah with wide eyes, she wore the same expression. Unfortunately. I wanted to say.

"Yeah" I nodded smiling. "I'm Nick" He said holding out his hand for me to shake. I looked down at his hand. Maybe he's being humble. I obviously knew who they were. I took his hand anyway shaking it, before he extended his hand to Sarah, who shook it smiling.

"This is Matt and Chris, my brothers" He said motioning to them. I looked over at Matt who smiled nodding at me, and then to Chris who smiled slightly. I swallowed looking down at my feet. Oh my god.

"We love your videos" Nick said making me snap my head up. I looked at him furrowing my eyebrows. He just looked at me. "Like--" I said looking over at Sarah who was just looking at me.

"Like our videos?" I asked motioning between me and Sarah. Nick laughed. "Yeah, we watch you guys like every week" He breathed. I just stared at him, my mouth slightly parted trying to figure out is he was serious or not.

"Like actually?" Sarah asked looking over at Nick. "You guys are funny as fuck" Matt said chuckling. "We live for the shit talking saturdays podcast" Matt said looking over at me. I smiled closing my eyes.

"You guys--" I said looking between them, trying so hard to not keep eye contact with Chris. "Are the funniest people i think i've ever seen" I chuckled looking at them. They all smiled.

"Thank you we appreciate that" Nick said looking up at me. I glanced over at Chris, who has yet to say a word, to see him just looking at me. I glanced away from him quickly looking back at Nick.

"I know that we have a lot of them same fan base--" Nick said looking between us. "Would you guys maybe want to colab sometime?" He asked raising his eyebrows looking at us. I looked over at Sarah who looked at me, attempting to send me messages through her eyes, before shrugging. I looked back at them.

"It doesn't have to be for a whole pod episode, I know you guys just did that--" Matt started to say, making me close my eyes and scrunch my nose. Fuck. I took a breath, reopening my eyes. It's fine. It's fine. You're fine.

"It could just be like a regular video, I know our fans would love to see it" Matt explained looking between us. I took in a breath and looked over at Sarah, who shrugged and nodded. I looked back at them, my cheeks slightly red.

"Yeah, we'd love that" I nodded. Nick smiled at me. "Great, can I get one of your numbers?" He asked looking between us. I nodded before pulling out my phone and handing it to Nick. Nick looked down at the phone, making silence come between the rest of us.

I just looked down at my feet.

"I like your shoes"

When I heard his voice my eyes shot up. Chris was looking at me. I looked down at my shoes and then back at him. "Mine?" I asked. He chuckled and nodded. My face lit up in what felt like flames.

"Oh! Thanks. I actuatly just got these--They were like super expensive for like no reason, they are just like tan shoes like why are they so fucking---" I stopped myself biting my lip. Fuck, I'm word vomiting. I paused looking at him and he was staring back at me waiting for me to finish.

"Expensive" I breathed looking at him. He smiled and nodded. "They're sick" He said glancing back down at my shoes. I smiled and looked away from him, just in time for Nick to hand me back my phone.

"Just text me whenever you're free" He smiled before walking past us, watching Matt and Chris following along after him. I let out a breath.

I looked over at Sarah.

"He definitely saw it" I groaned closing my eyes. Sarah looked over at me. "He definitely saw it" She nodded looking over at me. I looked over at her. "How embarrassing was I?" I sighed rubbing my hands over my hands. Sarah shook her head looking at me.

"No, no you weren't I promise" She said looking down at me. I cringed looking up at her. "Maybe a little red--" She squinted. I sighed and looked down. "But definitely not embarrassing" She said putting her hand on my shoulder.

I looked over to see the triplets moved across the room, just in time to see Chris look back at me. I turned away and grabbed Sarah's arm. "That's enough embarrassment for one night" I mumbled as I dragged her away.

"I'm gonna go talk to Vinnie" Sarah smiled up at me. I rolled my eyes. "Sarah, you've had too many drinks. You're gonna embarrass yourself" I chuckled pushing her drink down. She rolled her eyes.

"Liquid confidence" She cheered before moving past me. "Sarah" I said looking at her as she smiled and winked at me and made her way across the room. I sighed once she finally made her way over to him and he looked down at her.

Sometimes I wondered how it was so easy for her. To just go up and talk to guys. Sure I was confident online with my podcast and everything, but when it came to real life situations--I wasn't the one talking first or being the loudest one in the group.

This resulted in Sarah having multiple flings with people, pulling guys wherever she went and me being the girl who just creppily talks about a triplet and runs away from him. God.

"Hey"

I glanced away from the interaction from Vinnie and Sarah and looked up to see the same blue eyes I was just thinking about staring down at me. I turned slightly to see if anyone else was around me that he could possibly be talking to, but when I saw no one I turned back to look at him. He smiled and shook his head at me.

"Hi" I breathed looking at him. Chris. glanced down at my cup. "What you sippin on?" He asked. I looked down at the cup in my hand and then back up to him. "Oh! It's like this herbal-tea thing. It's suppose to help calm you down, but not in like a drug related way---Like in a herbal tea way--" I chuckled slightly.

"But it's really not that good, if i'm being honest i'm having to choke it down, because it is not working--" I said shaking my head looking back up at him, a smile just on his face.

"Not! That i'm super nervous or anything, I just--It's my first influencer party and I don't really know anyone except for Sarah--Who is--" I said looking over and seeing her lips attached to Vinnie's. I scrunched my nose and looked back at Chris who was also taking in the sight himself.

"Sucking on Vinnie Hacker's face currently" I chuckled slightly looking back at him. He chuckled and nodded. "But don't mind her, she's not normally like this. She's just drunk and nervous which is why she's making out with a famous twitch streamer" I shook my head. He just nodded smiling at me.

"Not--that i'm judging her for drinking or anything. That's totally okay with me--It's just not for me, you get what i'm saying? Sometime I like being the DD, but only if it means no one is puking in my car. But she never usually gets to that point, I also love how she doesn't judge me for not drinking even though we're in LA, because sometimes peer pressure is just like---" I said looking around and then meeting his eyes again, pausing as he looked down at me. I sighed closing my eyes.

"I'm....talking a a lot aren't I?" I asked opening my eyes looking at him. How could I possibly have gone on a tangent this long from the simple question: What are you drinking? God If I could crawl into a hole right now, I would.

He chuckled and shook his head. "No you're fine" He smiled looking down at me. I took a breath and looked down, feeling my face betray me and light up. "I'm sober too, I think it's cool that you're sober" He said pointing at my drink.

"Think i'd rather be drinking alcohol than whatever herbal ass this is" I joked looking down at my drink, my hand slightly shaking. He laughed. He laughed, making me look up at him and take a real breath. He shrugged.

"Yeah maybe sounds really gross" He breathed looking down at me. I took a breath as we stared at each other. Not believing that we were genuinely speaking right now.

"I saw that you said you were working on a jewelry brand" He stated looking down at me. "That's really fucking cool" He smiled looking at me. I smiled and nodded.

"I'm really excited about it. T-shirt and sweatshirts are whatever, but like making a genuine brand that people who aren't a fan of my content can wear is really cool" I said looking at him. He nodded.

"Yeah I think it's pretty cool that you can decifer yourself and what you want to do, from Sarah's. I feel like I kind of a hard time doing things without my brothers" He stated looking down at me, like I was a normal person and we were having a normal converstaion.

"Yeah well, I feel like before all this social media stuff, Sarah was kind of the one who made all the plans, was always invited somewhere, always had more friends. Mainly because she was more outgoing than me--" I said glancing over at her, still kissing Vinnie. I looked up at Chris who was watching them.

"Clearly" I chuckled and he chuckled and nodded. "And also with the fact that she drank and I didn't" I sighed. "I guess they just felt awkward inviting me to places where there would be drinks, like I was allergic to it or something" I said shaking my head. He nodded, like he was understanding what I was saying.

"I would never say this to her, but taking the step to doing something by myself that I feel people would love is like the biggest deal to me ever. Especially since I feel like when people look at the two of us, they usually like her more" I sighed. Chris nodded and his eyes didn't leave mine as I spoke, like he was really listening.

"Which I guess it's not her fault, but it's how I feel" I shrugged. He let out a breath and glanced over at Sarah who had finally come up for air. "Sarah's cool" He stated. I looked up at him nodding. He glanced back down at me.

"But she's not as funny as you" He whispered slightly leaning down, making me start to shake slightly. I chuckled and shook my head. He leaned up and smiled down at me. We just looked down at me for a second.

"Sorry I'm not really good at this" I said looking at him, he furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?" He asked crossing his hands over his chest. I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes at him.

"I don't know this?" I asked shaking my head. He smiled and licked his lips. "What flirting with me?" He asked looking down at me, making my eyes go wide. He raised his eyebrows and smiled. I scoffed, feeling my face go red.

"I am not flirting with you" I said attempting to bite back my smile as he looked at me. He shrugged and looked down at me. I sighed looking down and swallowing my pride.

"You've seen the clips haven't you?" I asked scrunching my face and looking up at him. He smiled and shrugged. "Maybe a few" He laughed lightly. I swallowed shaking my head, suddenly regretting everything i've ever said. I groaned placing my hands over my face.

"Oh god" I said looking up at him. He shook his head. "No, don't be embarrassed. I think it's flattering" He chuckled. I shook my head. "No Chris, it is embarrassing" I laughed off the awkwardness of this conversation.

"I think it's cute you think my eyes are bluer than the ocean" He chuckled. I shook my head holding up my hands. "Stop stop" My face just got redder by the second. He laughed and stepped towards me grabbing my hand that was in the air. I looked down at our hands and saw him looking down at me.

"Maybe you weren't flirting with me, but maybe I wanted to flirt with you" He stated running his thumb over my hand and then letting it fall. I glanced up and blinked at him, as he looked down at me. Was I dreaming? Was this real life? I didn't believe the words falling out of his mouth.

"What?" I whispered. He took in a breath sighing and looking to the side. "My brothers would never shut up about the things you've said about me, reminding me almost everyday--" He started looking back down at me. I didn't speak I just looked at him.

"and maybe I mentioned that I thought you were cute" He smiled down at me. My mouth parted. Dreaming, definitely dreaming. "And ever since I said that, they haven't shut up about getting us to meet each other--Since they love your videos so much" He said quietly looking down at me.

"They love?" I asked smiling up at him. He sighed rolling his eyes. "We love" He stated smiling. I blushed and shook my head. "Sorry" I whispers running my hands over my cheeks that were out of control. He shook his head, his eyes not breaking mine.

"No it's okay" he smiled. I smiled up at him. "So...you think you'll do a video with us?" He asked quietly. I took in a breath. "i'll have to check my schedule" I teased looking at him. He licked his lips and nodded.

"You think you have time in your schedule for a date?" He asked smiling. My smile dropped as I looked at him, seeing if he was serious. He raised his eyebrows looking at me.

"Like actually?" I whispered looking at him. He smiled and nodded. "Dinner? My place?" He asked looking at me. I opened my mouth and then closed it just staring at him.

"Are you seeing someone?" He asked due to my silence. I shook my head quickly. "No" I stated. He furrowed his eyebrows. "Will you go out with me then?" He chuckled. I took in a breath before smiling, getting ready to respond but I was too nervous so I turned to the side.

I glanced over seeing Sarah leaning against Vinnie's shoulder, groaning with her eyes closed. I sat up straighter.

"Shit" I breathed. I looked back at Chris. "I'm sorry I have--" I said looking at him. He shook his head stepping back. "No go, you're fine" He said shaking his head. I took in breath stepping away from him and starting towards Sarah, but I paused turning back around to meet Chris's eyes again.

"Dinner. Your place. Saturday night work?" I breathed smiling. He started to smile. "Y-Yeah that's perfect" He nodded. I smiled before leaning up and kissing his cheek and then leaning back seeing I was no longer the one who was red in the face.

"You're sweet" I whispered. He just smiled at me, before I turned and headed off towards Sarah.

tag list:

@rac00ns-are-c00l4 @miastromboli @secret-sturniolo @sturnsclutter @sturniolodreamz @paper-crab @chrisolivia4l @mwah0mwah @recklesssturniolo @ejswift @kitaysworld @meg-sturniolo @nickmillersn1gf @fr3shl0ve @adrianaturnedpretty @oversturn @ghostgurlswrld @flowerxbunnie @ilytrinsworld @lustfulslxt @kiarastromboli @gemofthenight @blahbel668 @haunted-headset @sturnybabes @bethsturn @d3adlyclassrat @sturnybabes @mattsbitch @chrisluvbot @nickenthusiast @sturniolossmut @biimpanicking @iloveneilperry @chalametbich @dsmja @bernardsleftbootycheek @lovingsturniolo @aoxash @idrkk-123 @gingerbreadgodofhyperdeath @babagurlrichey @d3adlyclassrat @iammattsturniolo @1201pm @urfavstromboli @that-chris-girl01 @lovingsturniolo @aoxash

#christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo

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lady-raziel · 1 month

Text

long reaction to the update

ok. so they put out an update video! since i've been commentating for the last three days i might as well subject you all to more of my thoughts today.

main takeaway: this was a good apology video. i mean it. short and to the point, no overproduction, heartfelt and honest (and not a ukelele to be seen. thank god.) they took ownership of the situation, apologized, and restated how much they value their relationship with the fandom.

their solution is to make the watcher tv platform into kind of an iteration of patreon where content is available for early access before it is released onto youtube later. this is clearly a better option than paywalling everything for everyone. i'm not sure what the relative breakdown of costs turns out to be when you compare how much they were making on patreon after the platform took their cut VS how much it costs in overhead to run and maintain their own platform (how much it costs annually to contract via Vimeo, essentially). but i'm sure that's part of the calculation.

all things considered, that does seem like the best option out of all the alternatives. it allows them to not completely abandon any of the pans they have simmering over the fire for the time being. i don't think i ever thought they were going to just say "oops, forget about the streaming thing! let's pretend that never happened!" because at this point they've invested quite a lot of time and money into it, and i don't disagree that keeping it in some iteration may help them make up some of the funds they're lacking.

i would say, it's fine to keep the streamer. this is one of the ok outcomes, all things considered-- but if they're going to do it, they've GOT to do it smart from this point forward. listen to both the fans and the consultants intimately. both are going to have valid points, and both are going to be right. listening to too much of either side will sink this thing because each has motives and expertise that the other doesn't. if the fans say $6 is too much, listen to them-- but have conversations with business consultants about how much you realistically need to charge to make things work.

also, i'd use this whole situation as a learning experience. watcher is a young company, and it's literally inevitable that mistakes will happen. what's different is that the watcher crew haven't really been in a position before where they've been on the receiving end of the internet-angry-justice-hammer to this extent. it's one thing to watch it happen to others, but it's a position of extreme privilege (and a bit of hubris) to think "but that won't happen to me, because i'm built different." naw, man-- two things in life are inevitable: death and fuckups. the callout posts get us all in the end.

what's really important is that they use this as a wakeup call that even the most loyal fandoms will only follow you so far to the cliff's edge, and you don't want to push that. you have to strike a balance between the passion projects that you think are worthy and the stuff that maybe doesn't excite you as much anymore but the people want to see. a little fanservice keeps the lights on, as unfair as that might seem. i'm gonna make 50 markiplier choccy milk memes just so i can make one niche political joke once and a while for 6 likes. it is what it is.

i'd also use this as a chance to take a very careful look at company structure and finances. it's not fun to do and nobody likes it. trust me-- this is hard whether you're a single adult trying to pay the bills or the freaking US government (speaking from experience on both-- i have to read the president's budget for work frequently). but you all have to ask hard questions about the ratio of creative staff you take on VS staff for administrative and other business roles, as well as the costs and benefits of everything you spend money on. how many staff members are essential to location shoots? can this video be shot with 2 cameras instead of 3 and thus you don't need another cameraperson? you might even have to come to the decision that instead of pitching a new show it makes more sense to use those funds to hire your essential non-creative roles or contract firms or freelancers.

paying staff a fair wage with benefits speaks highly of what watcher wants their values to be. it's hard to find such a position in a creative role and still actually get to work on things you care about. but it would be much worse if watcher didn't make realistic decisions about finances and it lead to the death of the company and everyone losing their jobs. the whole watcher company can work, in my opinion, but not without some sacrifices. they're going to have to run it more like a business and less like a youtube-channel-turned-business in the future if they want to survive.

last thing i'll add is that while i do think this was a good apology video, i still think they hurt themselves by not putting out some sort of statement on Friday or Saturday just to say that they were formulating a response. As i've said in other posts, it's ok and in fact beneficial to not make a kneejerk reaction, but it's also very important to communicate that you SEE what's happening. you SEE what people are saying and THAT'S why you need more time to respond. saying nothing and leaving the angry public to wonder if you dropped your phone off the Hoover Dam or just don't care? that's a fumble. it's a common mistake companies make in a crisis, but that doesn't mean it doesn't erode trust fast.

this could have been handled better in many ways. we see that, and i'm glad watcher says they see that too. crucial going forward is taking all this and patching the errors that caused all this to fall apart and learning from the experience.

tbh at this point what i'm most sad about is that the watcher crew have probably been too stressed out and upset to appreciate some of the absolute bangers people have been laying down to clown on them. i think if it wasn't about them they might be touched by the collective attitude and creative spirit. /j

#watcher #watcher tv #after this post i have got to actually not spend time writing long reactions about this anymore because i too #have fires caused by my own fuckups to put out #alas

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myosotisa · 11 months

Note

Steve needing comfort angst ?

ah yes, the best. someone give this boy a hug!!!!!!

Running Late

ǁ summary: Steve is late picking you up after work and fears the worst from you when he does show up.

ǁ tags: hurt/comfort, established relationship. gender neutral, no pronouns, no y/n, nicknames are honey and sweetheart for reader. Steve has anxiety, description of symptoms similar to an anxiety attack, comfort for the man.

ǁ word count: 2.1k

Your boyfriend Steve had picked you up after work every day since the two of you had started dating 6 months ago.

He insisted it wasn’t a big deal – it was on his way home from his own job and it also meant he got to see you everyday, which he always insisted was the highlight of his day. You didn’t really enjoy walking home, and you did enjoy getting to look at Steve Harrington, so it seemed like a win-win.

You didn’t really think too much into it until tonight.

After your shift ended, you did the same thing you always did: you cleaned up a bit, clocked out, and pushed your way out of the back door and into the night air. When you looked over to where Steve was normally parked, leaning on his hood with his thick arms crossed over his chest, you only saw empty space.

Shrugging it off, you stepped to the side to lean back against the brick wall and wait. He’d never been late before but there was a first time for everything. Who isn’t late sometimes?

You waited an hour.

During that time, you’d stepped inside to try to call his house (no answer) and Family Video (wasn’t there). One of your coworkers had walked past and asked if you needed a ride home, but you were still positive Steve was coming to get you, so you waved him off. He wasn’t the type to just forget. Maybe he’d lost track of time or, god forbid, he got in some sort of accident.

You’d been considering just walking home and trying to call him again later when his maroon BMW comes careening into the parking lot.

It skids until the wheels lock up a safe distance away from the building, and by extension you, and has barely come to a full stop before the driver’s side door is rocketing open and a severely distressed Steve is jumping out.

“Honey! Hey, I’m…” He rounds the car toward you in a jog, voice raspy from being out of breath. “I’m so sorry I’m late, I can’t believe – wait, how late am I?” He flips his watch toward his face, squinting behind his wire rim glasses to try to read the time in the dark before they grow wide and flick back to you. “Oh my god, I didn’t – I’m so sorry – Sweetheart, I swear…”

He isn’t even able to finish a thought before the next one starts as his breathing only seems to start coming through faster, chest rising and falling visibly with the force of his inhales. When he reaches his hands out toward you, there’s a noticeable tremble in them and that, along with the flush of red crawling up his chest, clues you in that something is really not right.

“Steve, hey,” you step into his space, bypassing his outstretched hands and placing one of yours on his jaw and the other on his chest. “It’s okay, it’s really fine.”

“No, it’s not fine,” he murmurs, the space between his eyebrows folding into a sharp pinch. The next inhale he takes is choked, getting trapped in the bulk of his chest. “I’m so, so sorry. I… There’s no excuse, really, honest to god, there isn’t, I’m so sorry.”

Growing more concerned by the second, you step closer to try to ground him with your presence. You’ve seen Steve in moments like these before, when his anxiety feels like a python constricting around his chest, but it never gets any easier to watch. Especially not as his eyes start to water at the corners and the tremble of his hands infects the rest of him in a subtle shake.

“Hey, baby,” the petname, one that normally calms him down, produces a sharp inhale this time, like it was the wrong thing to say. “Why don’t you come sit in the backseat with me? Is that okay?” Your tone is slightly placating and you wish it wasn’t, but you’re at a bit of a loss for the best way to navigate this situation. Especially since you have little to no idea of what is causing his panic.

His eyes squeeze shut as the rest of his muscles go stiff, the tears that were collecting in the corners of his eyes falling swiftly down his reddened cheeks. Though it looks like it pains him, he gives a stunted nod and allows you to lead him back over to his car. You open the rear passenger side door and look over at him – he looks so lost and scared like this, 2 things you’re not used to your boyfriend being. But you’re here for it either way and motion for him to go in first, waiting for him to settle in the middle of the back before you slide in after him and shut the door behind you both.

The seal of the door makes the ambient noise of the outside fall away, leaving only the hum of the AC coming from the still running BMW. While you had worried it would feel too cramped for him at first, he had later explained to you that he didn’t find it cramped. It felt contained, which helped his panic when it came.

Twisting in your seat, you face him with a hand on his forearm. He stares straight forward, focusing far off. “I’m gonna sit in your lap, is that okay?” He doesn’t answer, just opens his arms and adjusts his legs to give you room to hop on. With the sedan’s low ceiling, it takes a bit of maneuvering, but you manage to crawl over to straddle his lap: knees by his hips, ass on his thighs, and hands resting on his chest. Almost instinctively, his arms wrap around you and pull you in to press along the entire front of his body.

Tucking your forehead against the side of his neck, you let him adjust as needed until he stills with his arms looped over your back. Like this, you’re effectively a warm, weighted blanket for him. A living, breathing one that grounds him to reality and gives him something to focus on. You make your breathing as obvious as you can, giving him a chance to try to mimic it, and listen to his heart rate slowly begin to lower with your ear pressed to his chest.

While the tension comes and goes in the silence between you for a little while, you know the worst of it has passed when his hands start to move. From stationary, they move into a subtle stroke along your curved spine from your position. Small at first, but gradually growing in length and firmness as he calms down further. You don’t want to push it, don’t want to move too soon, don’t want to cause him more upset, so you allow yourself to melt further into him with the soft touches and wait for him to be ready.

Eventually, Steve heaves a deep breath that comes much easier and fuller than those previous. It’s accompanied by a low hum that you feel more than hear from your place against his chest. His hands skate down to rest on your hips, giving a soft squeeze, before he murmurs, “Hey honey.”

With that, you slowly withdraw from your spot and straighten as much as you can, putting a few inches between your faces. His face is ruddy and his cheeks are damp, like he spent a lot of your hidden time crying, and you offer a sad smile through the stab of pain the sight causes you. “Hi handsome,” you hum back, tension easing when his mouth tilts in a shy smile. “You come here often?”

“Too often,” he replies with a soft, self-deprecating laugh. His hands slide further – from your hips to resting on the tops of your thighs. When he speaks next it’s rough and broken at the edges. “I’m sorry.”

Quick to react, you use your hands to cup both sides of his jaw, forcing him to keep eye contact with you to try to ebb any possibility of a second attack. “No sorries, no more.” You lean in to press a soft kiss to his pouting lips, pulling away just enough to press your forehead to his. “Nothing to be sorry for. I’m not mad, I’m not upset. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

His mouth presses into a tight line, jaw muscle rolling with tension as he clenches his teeth together. “I told Lucas I would drive him home after his game at the school tonight,” he explains through a sigh, eyes closed gently. “They went into overtime and he was out in the game, not even on the bench like he normally is, and I was just so excited for him. I completely lost track of time.”

“That’s okay, Steve,” you press your forehead a bit tighter before relaxing again. “That’s great for Lucas and I’m glad you had fun watching. It happens, losing track of time. Everyone does it once in awhile.” He heaves another shaky breath, the exhale ghosting warm over the lower half of your face from the proximity. “Do you want to talk about what just happened?”

You leave it up to him with no judgement. Sometimes he will say no, he’ll talk about it when he’s ready. But you always want to give him the option to talk about it right then when it’s fresh on his mind.

“I, uh… I thought you’d be mad.” He admits quietly, sounding ashamed. “Maybe not even mad but just… Disappointed?”

Your expression cracks, sadness filling you, but you wait to make sure you don’t end up interrupting. You’d learned your lesson that if you tried to make it too much back and forth, he would get distracted and lose his train of thought.

“I guess I was worried that being late would make you feel like you can’t trust me anymore. That I’m unreliable. And if I’m unreliable, then maybe you won’t want me to give you rides anymore. And if I don’t drive you home from work anymore then…” He pauses, the continuous train of thought reaching its conclusion that he hadn’t anticipated at the beginning. “If I stop being useful, you won’t want me around anymore.”

“Oh, baby…” You can’t help but sigh, heart twisting in pain for the boy in front of you. “I don’t spend time with you because you’re ‘useful’. I’m not dating you because of the things you do for me or something like that. I like you because you’re you, Steve Harrington.” His eyes open when you say his full name, a bit watery behind the now smudged lenses. “You’re kind and loving and brave and genuine. Not to mention, kind of a stud muffin.”

He huffs a small, wet laugh at that, bringing little smiles to both of your faces. The sadness in his eyes begins to shift, steadily growing into awe and adoration the longer he looks at you. “You could never pick me up from work again and I would still be just as stupid crazy for you as I am right now, swear to god.”

“Oh yeah?” He sniffles slightly, clearing his throat as he tries to regain some footing. “How stupid crazy are we talking here? Because I think I might be a little bit deeper,” he teases, hands squeezing the meat of your thighs as his smile slowly grows.

“How about this,” you lean in to press one more quick kiss to his pink lips before you pull back to look at him head on. “How about we agree that I’m crazy for you and you’re stupid for me and we’re even in our prospective fields?”

“Prospective fields?” His head shakes with his shoulders when he chuckles again, the warmth of his smile once again meeting his bright eyes. “You’re kind of a nerd, you know that right?”

“Yup!” You answer happily, “That’s why I’m the crazy one and you’re the stupid one.”

“Oh gee, thanks,” comes his mocking reply, eyes rolling heavily. “It’s a good thing you’re cute, because you’re trouble.”

Fingers trailing down from his jaw to rest on the front of his chest, you aren’t able to bite back your cheeky grin. “I thought you liked that about me.”

With a grin that mirrors your own, his hands make an opposite trail, going from your thighs, brushing over the flesh of your ass before gripping tight on your hips again. “I do. I like everything about you actually.”

Flustered suddenly by the flattery, you hide your sudden shyness by leaning back in and wrapping your arms around his shoulders in a hug. He returns the embrace, leaving the two of you closer to how you had been when you first got in the car.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he murmurs into your hair, fingers once again brushing up and down your spine. “For everything.”

#steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington hurt/comfort #steve harrington comfort #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington oneshot #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #myos ideas #myo4harrington

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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fairyofhee · 2 years

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WHAT YOU NEED | l.heeseung

PAIRINGS. heeseung x afab!reader

SYNOPSIS. when you caught your boyfriend cheating, his best friend aka your roommate suggests to get revenge by asking you to fuck him. you refuse at first, but then the idea excites you. okay you weren’t actually going to fuck your roomie, you were just going to lie. but the problem was that your boyfriend asked for proof and now you had to make a sex tape with someone who you weren’t sexually attracted to.

WORD COUNT. 13.8k

GENRE. smut, unrequited love, best friend’s girlfriend, slight fwb, roommates to lovers, angst, hurt, bickering, naive people, heeseung is a bit cocky, slight perv!hee, college fic, jealousy

WARNINGS. 18+ only; MINORS DNI. profanity, fingering, masturbation, oral sex (m. receiving), protected sex, blindfolding, filming porn, slight drunk driving

“Bro what the fuck?” Heeseung yelled through his mic. He was playing his video games and continued for a while until his body jumped to the sound of the front door slamming. It was always quiet in the apartment, especially at night, so he immediately paused the game to check out the sudden sound outside his room.

“Uh I’ll be right back guys,” he said to his friends before taking off his headset and exiting his room.

Heeseung walked towards the only shared space in the apartment with both hands in each of his pockets and finds you aggressively washing dishes in the kitchen.

You knew he was present in the room but you didn’t say a word or look at him once. “What’s up with you?” he said with a judgmental tone.

“Now’s not the time Heeseung,” you roll your eyes, not in the mood for his attitude and remarks. Heeseung placed both hands atop the kitchen countertop, carefully watching you pour cereal into a bowl that you had just washed.

You felt his eyes set on you, you figured that he could sense your uneasiness, but you didn’t bother to care.

“Hey,” he lowered his upper body to meet your height and narrows his eyes at you, noticing your eyes all red and puffy. “Have you been crying?”

Your lip quivered as you quickly wiped some tears that were a bit dry in your eyes. “No,” you scoffed, voice cracking lowly.

His brows quirked up, he’s never seen you like this before. “What happened?” he softly asked.

Your head drops to let out the tears that you’ve been holding in soon as the question left his mouth. You cover your face with a hand, feeling ashamed sobbing in front of your roommate that you perhaps only talk to about three times a day.

The urge to keep it all in was very hard for you, of course, because yesterday after meeting with your professor to ask a question about an assignment, you caught your boyfriend in the parking lot with his hand gripped around some girl’s ass then opening his car door to let her in. God knows where they went or what they did.

You didn’t call or text to confront him because a big part of you was in denial, since it’s been two years of being healthy with each other. You guys never fought, argued, or lied. When you went home yesterday, you told yourself to wait until he was going to be honest and tell the truth. Your gut churned last night when he never called or texted.

You ignored what you saw yesterday, and today, you left a couple of text messages to him, asking about his whereabouts and if you were going to see him around school today. He left a message that didn’t even sound like it was sent from him.

[5:42 pm] jeongin: i got sick sorry for not answering.

You tightly held onto this hope that he would be honest, but instead you felt like you just got hit with the biggest brick of reality when he didn’t. Your boyfriend is obviously cheating on you.

Not able to hold the heartbreak and pain any longer, you were now letting go of everything you have felt for the past two days. Hot tears streamed down your face and you squeezed your eyelids shut in hope that the tears would stop.

It felt odd, having a tightening of your throat and a short intake of breath while in the kitchen of your apartment. Gut-wrenching sobs tore through your chest and it was painful to see you like this.

Heeseung stood frozen in his place fighting the urge to pull you into his embrace and let the torrent of your tears soak through his shirt. He knew there were clear unspoken boundaries between you guys. You both were respectful to each other’s space so pulling you close for a hug and touching you felt like a risk to him. But wanting to calm you down, he took the risk and stood behind you to gently rub your back as his sign of comfort.

Much to his surprise, you didn’t disregard his touch. No, you didn’t mind Heeseung’s comfort since he’s your roommate, however, it’s an unusual sight to see because you guys know almost nothing about each other. You only knew that he’s a slight asshole and smartass who can cook well, but likes to leave his wet clothes in the laundry for hours. He only knew that you’re a busy prestigious student who’s dating his best friend.

Whenever your boyfriend would come over and Heeseung invited his friends, you had no choice but to hang with them, because yeah, your boyfriend didn’t want to leave you alone in your own place. It was a pretty normal occurrence that happened about once a week. You didn’t mind these hangouts, but you didn’t have much fun either, watching boys play video games and drink.

These hangouts were also a way to get to know Heeseung more — someone you had to live with because you needed a cheap place to stay and your boyfriend suggested to live with his best friend. But all Heeseung did during these hangouts was tease you, saying things like:

“Y/N shouldn’t you be studying?” or “Isn’t it your bedtime Y/N?”

To this day, you don’t know if he’s just putting up a strong front and trying to be funny in front of his friends or if he is actually immature and a dick. Though, he only teased you because he liked the comments you would say in return. Based on these hangouts, there was still much to learn about each other.

You felt Heeseung’s hand removed from your back when you’ve calmed down with his help. after steadying your breath back to normal and wiping your tears, you turned around to see him handing you a glass of water.

“Thank you,” your words almost come as a whisper. Heeseung pats your head while gazing at the round sad eyes formed on your face. He stood for what it felt like minutes, waiting for you to spill what happened, but he knew you guys weren’t close enough to tell each other what was going on so he stepped away to head towards his room.

“Jeongin cheated on me.” You blurt out, stopping Heeseung in his tracks. You watched as his face turned baffled at your words. “He wouldn’t do that,” he derides, in much denial just as you are.

“Of course you would say that,” you sneeringly laugh, “He’s your best friend.”

He shook his head without thought, “Nah, we haven’t been friends for a while.” Your face then makes the same baffled face that Heeseung just had. “But you guys seemed cool last week when he came over,” you protest in a disbelieving tone.

Heeseung sits on the chair in front of the kitchen island countertop while you were faced across from him, taking a bite of the cereal that was now soggy. “He told me to act cool in front of you,” he watched your face as it became more quizzical.

“We’re not anymore because he was getting insecure that I’m living with you.”

Your tongue flicks the roof of your mouth. You were dumbfounded at your boyfriend’s sudden change of feelings. “But he was obviously okay with it when I moved in,” you whined, still in disbelief. “I mean, wasn’t he the one who told me to live with you?”

“You moved in a year ago,” Heeseung remarked. “I think his feelings have changed.”

Yeah his feelings for me, you mentally say. It was somehow quick, but you weren’t in denial anymore. You were angry that he threw away two years for somebody else, and the way that he didn’t communicate his feelings of insecurity and decided to befriend Heeseung for simply living with you added to that anger built inside.

You exhaled in irritation while also feeling a bit sorrowful that Heeseung lost his best friend. “You never told me,” you murmur in a sympathetic tone. “Yeah, because we only talk about groceries or if rent is paid on time,” he laughs, taking the situation more lightly that you’d thought.

“I don’t think he would cheat on you Y/N,” he wholeheartedly believed. “Before our fallout, he would ask me every night to check on you to see if you made it home safe. I found it fucking annoying because he should be the one to text you,” he was irritated just thinking about it. “But I knew he did it because he cares.”

You appreciate Heeseung’s way of trying to make you understand but yes, your boyfriend’s feelings have changed. “You didn’t see what I saw Heeseung,” you stress your incredulity. “His hand was on someone’s ass and they went somewhere to probably fuck,” you raised your voice emphasizing your outrage.

Heeseung took note of your anger and pondered for a moment while trying to hide his stare at you. “Do you wanna piss him off?” he suddenly says.

You were in the middle of eating until your head shot up at his question, “What do you mean?”

“Like- get revenge,” there was that same sly grin on his face when he would tease you. “Revenge?” your brows furrowed in a bemused manner, “Isn't that a bit childish at our age?” you almost laugh.

“Maybe,” he shrugs. “But it would be fun,” he rests his elbows on the countertop as he leans forward, giving you a look of intrigue, “And I think it’s what you need,” he adds.

You shake your head, “What do I need?” you had a hard time comprehending his words.

“To finally get fucked by some actual good dick,” his round-like eyes slightly squint.

Ew, you mouth and give him a look of disgust. “If you’re implying your dick then gross. I would never fuck you,” you harshly tell him.

“Never is a long time.”

“Whatever,” you brush off his comment before grabbing your bag on the table to finally go into your room. Heeseung turns in his seat as he watches you walk away. His throat bobbles before speaking his next words, “You know how angry he would get if he knew we fucked?” He raised his voice so you could hear him clearly.

You turn around, giving him a chance to let him finish what he wanted to say. “He would regret cheating on you,” Heeseung declared. You slowly roll your eyes, feeling tired and overwhelmed by all of the emotions you’ve felt the past two days.

“What if I don’t wanna get revenge?” You sigh.

“You’re too nice then, Y/N.” Heeseung says in a low voice, trying to convince you. “Okay…,” you drew out the word, the trace of fondness not leaving your tone. “But what about him? Isn’t he your best friend?” you shrug.

“He’s the one who dropped me remember?” He reminds you with his voice turning soft.

“I’m going to sleep,” you say when heading to your room, not giving even a second to think about his suggestion. No way would you fuck your roommate for some revenge. You were too mature and busy for some childish games.

“You’re missing out!” He yells across the room with his chest puffed out with confidence. “Sure, goodnight Heeseung!” you yell back when you’re finally in your room.

After getting ready for bed, you finally had some downtime to just chill and watch movies on your computer. You thought about your encounter with Heeseung today and how it started from you crying, to him asking you to fuck him.

You found Heeseung attractive, I mean who didn’t? When you first met him while moving into the apartment two years ago, you were in literal shock of how unreal he looked. He was handsome and you were quite jealous of his strong facial structures and beautiful skin complexion.

But would you fuck him? No, you don’t sexually see him like that. Heeseung probably doesn’t know that you know, but once in a while, you can hear him fucking girls in his room. The walls are so thin that you can hear his moans and the phrases he says in bed. Thinking about it doesn’t turn you on, not even a little bit. You can’t imagine yourself in bed with your foolish of a roommate, let alone being physical with him.

Heeseung, on the other hand, had a certain unknowing desire and thought in the back of his mind. He wants you. To him, you are the most attractive person he’s ever seen. When Jeongin initially told him that you needed a place to stay, Heeseung was okay living and being a roommate with his best friend’s girlfriend because he didn’t think anything of it. But as soon as you walked through the front door of the apartment when moving in, he couldn’t help himself but just stare.

Heeseung would get so happy whenever you would hang out with him and his friends. His jokes and dumb remarks were directly made at you because he loved watching how you reacted. The expressions and comments you would make in return had Heeseung smiling so hard that it felt embarrassing of him.

A huge part of Heeseung feels guilty for feeling this way. There was a time where he heard you and Jeongin having sex. At the time, you thought Heeseung was away and not in his room, but he was listening the whole time. Hearing your loud moans and your words of “Fuck yes,” and “Deeper- harder” made him aroused to the max.

He almost jerked off to you that night, feeling a bit bitter it wasn’t him making you scream. He also thought it was too far and wrong so he stopped before he did anything. He told himself to back off and respect your guy’s relationship because you were his best friend’s girlfriend.

Seeing you cry today shattered his heart. It was the first time he’s ever felt heartbroken. He wanted to kill Jeongin for breaking your heart, but he also felt guilty for having a small tangent of hope when he heard that Jeongin cheated on you. Heeseung was selfish and thought that now was his chance to make you fall for him. He proposed his idea of getting revenge for fun, but now he can’t stop thinking about it.

It was late at night, Heeseung knew you had class early tomorrow so he assumed that you were asleep. He played music that was loud enough to fill his room just in case you were awake.

He plopped down onto his empty bed in his dark bedroom, having a gut feeling that he’ll regret this later on. He wiggles deep into the bed with legs bent and bare skin gliding across the sheets trying to get comfortable. Heeseung thinks about you giving him kisses from his lips then down to his body. He feels a pulse of heat shooting straight to his rising cock from the thought of you touching him while also straddled around him.

Heeseung wants you so bad — he did for a while. He whines a little, a throbbing feeling between his legs. He imagines you touching the base of his length up to his tip. “Y/N,” he quietly groans, tugging at his hard cock that’s an angry red color with precum leaking at his slit. He grabbed his length, slowly moving his hips up and down. His thoughts began to run as he imagined you atop, sinking down and deep onto him.

The sloppy sounds of his hand moving feverishly against his cock echoes into the room, he prays that music was all you could hear from his room.

His mouth is open, eyes are closed, and his tongue drooling when he started to move faster and faster, thrusting upwards imagining you riding him. The slick sound of his hand moving up and down on his length turned him on even more, and he felt himself nearing his peak. “Wanna fuck you so bad my good girl,” he whined before giving a few more strokes until he was cumming. He heavily breathed, watching his cum spill on his abs then reaching all the way up to his chest.

It only took a few minutes until guilt hit him. He couldn’t believe what he had just done. Most importantly, he didn’t know how he was going to face or talk to you tomorrow.

—

To his luck, you were out and about all day, attending a few classes and studying for your exam at the library. You honestly didn’t know how you had the motivation to study, but it was the only thing occupying your mind aside from your boyfriend. And the thought that if he was still your boyfriend or not distracts you. An aching sensation hits you hard in the chest, realizing that he threw away you so quickly.

You debated whether you should go to his house and talk to him, or not, because weren’t ready for the sudden change of him not being your life anymore. You still love and miss Jeongin.

But then it was the same scene again. You found him with the same girl in the parking lot when you left the library — this time he was now kissing her. Your heart sinks but now you’ve accepted it.

Accepting the truth of him cheating leads you to knocking on Heeseung’s door. You needed someone to talk to- but not about your feelings.

You wanted revenge.

Prior before standing outside his door, it was awfully quiet when you got back home. You knew Heeseung was in his room because his car was parked outside. However, you didn’t hear anything or a slight sound of movement. It was strange when moments later after getting ready for bed, you hear loud music playing in his room.

Heeseung knew you were home. He saw you park your car outside the apartment, but he still feels shameful for what he did last night. His only way to avoid you was to pretend to be asleep.

“Heeseung?” you called out as you knocked on his door. He was scrolling on his phone in bed until your voice caused his head to instantly shoot up.

He wanted to ignore you, but you never knock on his door. His curiosity led him to figure out what you wanted. “Yeah?” he says after opening the door, eyeing you up and down at what you were wearing. You had on tight shorts and a long sleeve shirt for pajamas. The shirt was a bit transparent and you never wear bras to bed so your bare breasts were slightly noticeable.

Heeseung gulped dryly as he quickly moved his eyes to meet yours, trying to not get caught when clearly checking you out. Aside from his spiraling thoughts of what you were wearing, he was concerned on why your eyes were drooping.

“I saw him again with that girl and they were kissing this time,” you told him, not giving him a clue to where this conversation was heading.

His eyes widen and again, his heart aches, feeling hurt for you. No one should ever go through that, especially you, he thought. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You gave him a reassuring nod, appreciating his empathy and implying that you were going to be okay, even if you weren’t. “W-what if we just said we fucked?” you suggested, suddenly feeling shy.

Your fingers fiddle with each other as you dazed off when you too had no clue where this conversation was heading. “I don’t think he would know if we didn’t right?” you say after building the courage to look him right in his eyes.

To say that Heeseung was speechless was an understatement, he actually didn’t know what to say. He didn’t expect you to take his words so seriously. “Y/N, are you sure? I think you’re just angry and overwhelmed by everything right now.”

You were taken aback by his response, “Why are you suddenly opposed? You’re the one who came with with the idea,” you remark.

Heeseung quietly grits his teeth, a feeling of frustration takes over him. Of course he wants to go with his idea, the problem was that he didn’t want to ruin you and your good character. But a part of his mind told himself to take every chance that was given to be able to be close to you.

“Fine,” he spits out. “But I think it would be more believable if I were the one to text him.”

Your face lits up in excitement, “Yeah you’re right, go text him right now.” You pushed the feeling of immaturity aside. Right now, you wanted the satisfaction of your ex boyfriend feeling salty when he finds out that you’re ‘fucking’ his best friend.

While in thought of this whole thing, Heeseung grabbed his phone to text Jeongin. The sound of him typing on his phone instantly grabbed your attention and you watched as a big grin forms on his face. He looked so impudent, yet very serious and concentrated.

You leaned one side of your head on his door, waiting for him to be finished while feeling anxious for what he had sent. “Okay here,” he says when showing his phone to you.

[10:32 pm] heeseung: you were right to be worried about me living with your girlfriend. i just made y/n cum in a few seconds, had her squirting and screaming my name. she said my dick stretched her out better than yours.

You look up at Heeseung after reading his text message. He quirks a brow when you seemed unamused and irked. “What?”

“Your choice of words are very vulgar,” you were a bit unimpressed, feeling a bit icky.

Heeseung lowly scoffs, “What else am I supposed to say, Y/N? That you had my penis in your vagina and we just had sexual intercourse?”

“Nevermind,” you stressed after shaking your head, “What did he say?” Heeseung looked at the notification from Jeongin who surprisingly replied fast. “He asked for proof,” his voice fell flat.

“Proof?” Your voice crescendos. “Is he serious?”

“Yeah,” Heeseung let out a sigh and nodded before passing his phone to you, “Look at what else he said.”

[10:34 pm] i.n: y/n wouldn’t fuck you bro. she knows who she belongs to.

Heeseung nibbled his lower lip, watching apparent anger slowly spring up on you. “Let’s just ignore him,” he pleads, not wanting Jeongin to cause an reaction out of you, “I don’t think he’s worth your time.”

You huff out a chuckle, shifting your daggering eyes to Heeseung. “If he wants proof then let’s give him proof,” you say bitterly which makes Heeseung rub his temples.

“I thought you said that revenge is childish and you don’t want to fuck me?” he quotes you, feeling unsettled about the words coming out of your mouth. “I know,” you let out a long exhale, “But I can’t let him walk around happy with someone else after he fucked me over. Twice.”

As much as you love Jeongin, you knew that you didn’t deserve this treatment. You weren’t going to let him treat you like a toy– like someone who was going to wait around for him. Heeseung believed this too, which causes him to go with your plan and help give whatever you wanted.

But he also didn’t want you to feel like you had to fuck him because it was your last resort to revenge. He wanted everything with you to be real and not some act. “Maybe we should do something small to see what he says first before do we anything further,” Heeseung suggests.

“Do you wanna send him a video of you sucking my dick first?” He asks almost comically.

“Okay sure,” you let out without thought.

Your sudden response causes his heart to skip a beat. “Oh, I was joking,” he lies and nervously chuckles. “But if you’re cool with that then I’m so fucking down.”

Damn, you truly hit the lowest point that you’re going to suck your roommates dick – your boyfriend’s best friend! – for some light revenge. You always think about the consequences of your decisions, but right now you couldn’t seem to.

You give a nod before walking yourself inside his room, not noticing his elated expression. You’ve went into Heeseung’s room multiple times during hangouts, but now it suddenly felt smaller with the air thickening when it was just you two alone.

“Wait, are you clean?” you turn around to face him when near his bed. “Yes I’m clean,” he utters in defense, “Haven’t had my dick sucked in a while and I don’t fuck raw.”

You emphasize an expression of ‘good to know’ with the bob of your head. You look at Heeseung standing like a deer frozen in headlights, which makes you a bit confused. “Aren’t you gonna sit on the bed?” you question. “Or are you too nervous?” you tease him with a playful smile.

“Shut up,” he sits on his bed, manspreading as you stand close before him. “I’m nervous it’s not gonna be believable because my dick won’t be hard,” Heeseung says ironically, trying to convince you that you don’t turn him on, but he felt his cock already twitching from staring at the way your clothes were hugging your body.

You were too oblivious to this fact though, shrugging off his comment because you believed that Heeseung didn’t find you attractive. It was pretty understandable since you were his best friend’s girlfriend, and finding you attractive would cross a small boundary. Getting hard by you was a huge boundary in which Heeseung already crossed.

“Do you have a blindfold?” you ask, glancing around the room looking for a piece of clothing that you can use. “Why do you need a blindfold?”

You slightly smile, “You’re not gonna get your dick hard if you look at me,” you murmur, trying to make the air less weird and uneasy. Heeseung sucked down a deep breath, not fond of not being able to see your mouth on his cock.

“How am I gonna take the video?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take it off when I start sucking you off,” you casually say, which brings relief to Heeseung. He felt the corner of his lip twitch, “I have a sleeping mask in the drawer behind you.”

After obtaining the mask, you stand in between his spread legs and put the ‘blindfold’ on him. “Just relax, Heeseung,” you tell him with a deep breath, but your words were actually for yourself. Despite how eager you were to get back at your ex, you were apprehensive about putting your roomie’s dick in your mouth — let alone making a porno and trying to make him feel good because your ego couldn’t handle not making him cum.

You almost never sucked off your own boyfriend which made you feel a bit pressured. But again, this was all for fun to get back at Jeongin. Why were you overthinking this way too much?

“I am relaxed,” Heeseung leans further back with both elbows dipped on his bed. “Let’s go baby,” he tilts his head down to his crotch then back to you, giving the greenlight to let you do whatever you want to him. Deep down, Heeseung wasn’t all relaxed but he did a good job not showing it. He was nervous that he was going to cum too fast which would be suspicious.

You took a deep breath to settle yourself, hoping to make him hard at least. As Heeseung is leant back, spreaded out, and blindfolded, you begin to bring your knee to his clothed crotch — feeling his bulge. When Heeseung met your contact, he tried his best to not smile. He can’t believe that this is really happening, it wasn’t just an imagination.

Your hand goes down to his pants, palming him softly as breathy noises were bubbling up from his throat that he tried to hold back. You then climb into his lap and sit on top of him, glimpsing at the little smirk on his face.

He was enjoying your touch and you noticed this, but didn’t give it much thought. You wanted to add onto his enjoyment though, so you start slowly grinding on him as his hands are pressed onto your hips, guiding you as you roll onto him.

You quickly put his hands aside, wanting to do all the work. “Does this feel good?” You asked before pushing his upper body so that his back was entirely on the bed.

Heeseung gave no answer, but he was in fact already hard and you atop of him felt like ecstasy.

“Answer me,” you plead, still rolling your hips.

Poor Heeseung. His hands were tightly gripping his sheets while he held his breath, not able to speak and trying not to show how turned on he is.

“F-feels so good,” he choked out.

You then felt his hard length beneath your core. Does he actually get hard this fast? You were smiling, also enjoying this and honestly feeling proud that you’re able to make him weak to the point that he was choking out his own words.

Something in your mind hits you and you felt the need to push him to the edge just to get him back for all the times that he teased you. You lean forward so that you’re resting on his chest and your lips meet his neck. Slowly and gently, you pepper his neck with kisses.

Heeseung felt your soft lips on his skin and your warm mouth drove him mad. He starts to become frustrated to the point that a grunt leaves his lips when you continued grinding on him. He’s completely losing himself.

“Wanna taste your cock baby,” your words almost come out as a whisper. You could’ve gone off of him a long time ago, but you were having too much fun. Heeseung on the other hand, shakes his head, having enough of this. “Yeah? Wanna feel your mouth,” he badly wanted to take off his blindfold and fuck you on his bed.

You knew he was in some pain with the way his chest was heaving and his jaw clenching, “I think you’re hard now,” you finally climbed off of him.

Heeseung quickly sits up and takes off his blindfold, feeling his face heat up. His eyes wander down to see his dick almost protruding through his pants. “Thanks,” he clears his throat while glancing at you. You nod with arms crossed, unable to think of what to say next.

“Gonna pull out my dick now,” he begins to loosen the tied strings of his sweatpants. “If you can't fit it in your mouth then we can try something else.”

“Yeah whatever,” you scowl, “It’s gonna fit.”

You watch as Heeseung takes his time taking his sweatpants and shirt off. He starts to feel himself sweat, reasons being that he’s nervous, yet excited to have his cock on full display for your eyes to see.

“If you want to back out now, it’s okay to.” He practically asks you before proceeding. As much as he wanted this, he didn't want the air to be weird between you two. And worse, didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.

He didn't have his boxers off yet, but you could sense that he would surprise you. You weren’t curious to see what his dick looked like until you sat on his huge bulge and felt his length grow big.

“Is your phone ready?” you say, implying that you still wanted to do the plan. Heeseung nods before grabbing his phone and pressing on the camera app. You grab a pillow and place it in between his feet before kneeling. He then shakes his hips to get rid of his boxers, finally revealing his naked body and hardened cock in front of your face.

His head turns to the side when he’s grinning after watching your eyes go wide at the sight of his length, resting flat against his abdominal. He almost laughs because he thinks that you're too cute, it's like you’ve never seen a dick before.

Heeseung surprised you, as you sensed, because it was so red, so veiny and hard, almost pulsing like it was impatiently waiting for your mouth. His slit leaked precum, was this all because of you?

It was silent for a moment as you both were caught up feeling and thinking differently.

Before you reached your hand out, you watch Heeseung’s spit fall from his mouth onto his tip. He starts to stroke himself, mixing and spreading his precum and his saliva. He felt himself twitch at each stroke and at each glance of you watching him.

You decide to take over now by removing his hand and licking the tip of his cock. A hand was stroking him while the other held his thigh. A heavy breath left his mouth when you pressed a few gentle kisses on him. There was a clear indication that he was already weak.

Heeseung moaned out in surprise the moment you put him in your mouth. “Fuck,” he cursed out when you began to suck and lick his cock like it was the most amazing thing you have ever had.

“Go deeper baby,” he impatiently begged as his hand applied pressure on the back of your head, guiding you. You do as he wished, taking inch after inch into your mouth and eventually reaching your throat. “Yeah, just like that,” he groaned, feeling himself entirely wrapped around your warm mouth. Heeseung planned to stay quiet and suppress his lewd noises, but you were sucking him like a pro while continuing to stroke him and play with his heavy sack.

In the moment, he didn’t care how loud he was. He couldn’t hold it in for much longer. And you hadn’t expected Heeseung to be so loud all because of you, but it was satisfying hearing him groaning and whimpering. It made you felt like you were doing something right.

Heeseung’s head tilted back, lost in the feeling of you. He wanted this moment to last forever, but he still remembered the plan. Already feeling close to hitting his peak, he quickly grabbed his phone and started to hit the record button.

He starts recording his fucked out face first while pushing your head deeper, letting you know that he was getting close and recording. He’d expected you to pull back and question him, but instead he felt you speed up.

“Fuck, that’s it,” the camera was on him. He made sure to show how good you are doing by letting out loud, obnoxious moans with eyes rolling back. You glance up at him and it was a sight to see.

Heeseung’s whole body was stuttering, making it difficult for him to record so still. He turned the camera around so it was on you now, and you just sucked harder and faster. “My good girl,” he growled, resting a hand on your head that was bobbing up and down.

You tried your best not to choke when you felt him becoming close. At the same time, you knew Heeseung was recording and you told yourself to give the best suck of your life — not afraid to let out a few moans as well. You’ve never sucked your boyfriend’s dick like this before, surprisingly this was enjoyable for you too. “Y/N, I’m- cum-“

Soon, you felt his cum puddling in your mouth and shoot onto your entire face when he came. You give a look to Heeseung, happy to have such a strong taste on your tongue then quickly down your throat as you swallow. Of course this was all for show, he reminded himself, but he couldn’t help but leave his fingertips dancing along your chin. “My pretty girl did so good,” he murmured, still recording your face full of his cum.

Heeseung rides his orgasm by stroking himself as you stand up to give him a kiss on the cheek, emphasizing the sound of your lips against his skin to make sure the sound was audible through the recording. He turned off the recording a few seconds later, going back to reality, and felt his chest ache when you quickly dropped your smile.

It stung that it was all an act.

Heeseung passed you a clean shirt to wipe your face after he put his sweats and boxers back on. You were surprised that his cum made its way onto the back of your hair, you definitely needed to shower tonight.

“I just sent the video,” Heeseung said, watching you clean up. You honestly felt uneasy that there’s now a video lying around of you sucking dick. The video was also recorded on Heeseung’s phone and he doesn’t plan to delete it unless you ask.

“He usually replies fast, did he say anything?”

Heeseung looked at the empty notification on his phone, “No, he didn’t.”

You throw the shirt that you used to his hamper and make your way towards the door. You had a feeling that Jeongin was with the girl you saw him with, not giving a shit about your revenge. “Hey,” Heeseung calls out, “Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna study after I shower,” you tell him with your thumb pointing towards the door. Heeseung lets out a low chuckle, his expression unreadable.

“Aren’t you like a little horny?”

You laugh, his question catching you off guard. “No, why would I be?” you said your words a bit too grim and Heeseung felt his dick soften.

“Okay, good luck on studying,” he gave you a closed-mouthed smile, “And thanks for tonight.”

“Yeah,” you shrug your shoulders like tonight wasn’t a big deal. “I hope I was good,” you felt the air becoming awkward tension.

“You were more than good,” his voice deep and husky, as if his throat was dry.

“You should do it more often,” a racy tone quickly returning as if he turned it on with a switch.

You roll your eyes like it was a reflex response to his playful comments. “Let me know if he says anything. Good night,” you say, walking out of his room and closing the door on your way out.

You walked back to your room having an uncomfortable feeling between your legs. You sigh, realizing what it was. Okay, you were a bit wet– no your panties were pooling with wetness and you possibly felt butterflies in your pussy during the whole time you sucked him off, which is why you rushed out of his room so quickly.

Were you sexually attracted to Lee Heeseung? Your roommate? No way, you initially thought. You hesitate before pondering about this for a few hours until you decided that maybe you needed to test out this theory.

You were back outside his door, yet this time you were nervous and super horny. “Sorry, are you busy?” you asked Heeseung after he opened his door when hearing your knocking.

He was fresh out of the shower, and his hair was wet and he smelt so good that the feeling between your legs was getting more uncomfortable. How was this possible?

“No, what’s up?” He questioned while holding the ends of the towel that was around his neck.

“Umm, I can’t sleep and I’m horny.” You glued your eyes on the floor, not wanting to see his reaction. Your words cause a “Yeah, how could you not after sucking my dick?” out of his mouth.

At his response, you turn around to walk away, regretting knocking on his door that led to feeding his huge ego. You felt his hand grab your arm before you could walk any further, “Wait I’m sorry,” he huffed. “How can I help?”

You lick your lower lip knowing what you want but also being hesitant. “Just make me cum with your fingers,” your words come out in a rush.

Heeseung grinned at your nervous expression. He simply gave a nod and fully opened his door to let you in. “Lay down for me,” he demanded as he placed the towel on his chair, and you do what he says and lay on his bed with your head resting on his pillow with your legs bent open for him. Heeseung watches before he kneeling in front of you to help to get rid of your shorts, leaving your bottom half in nothing but your underwear.

He then lays next to you on his side with an elbow propped on the same pillow, a hand already dipping inside your panties to reach your core. You immediately clench onto nothing and almost shiver, feeling sensitive to his touch. “You’re so wet,” he begins to spread your wetness. “Is this all from sucking my cock?” he looks up, making intense eye contact with you.

“No,” you swallow, getting rid of the dryness in your throat. Heeseung furrows his brows and removes his hand, “You don’t have to lie.” You break his eye contact, feeling heat onto your cheeks. It’s a good thing that his room had dim lights to hide your flushed face.

“What are you doing?” you ask, watching him get off the bed to find something in his drawer. In his hand was the ‘blindfold’ you had used on him earlier. Heeseung makes his way towards you and slowly puts the blindfold on you. You don’t say or question anything, going with the flow of things. You trusted Heeseung, one reason being that you lived with him for a year and other reasons in ways that you couldn’t explain.

You felt the bed dip due to Heeseung’s body, he went back into his position with an elbow propped up, his eyes carefully trained on every detail on you. “Just forget it’s me and say everything on your mind. Tell me how you want to be touched.”

Your thoughts of neediness makes you laugh out loud, in which Heeseung ignores. “Ok,” you softly murmur. “Want you to touch me here,” you manage to grab his hand and lead it under your shirt. Your breath hitched when you felt him give your bare breast a squeeze.

“And want you to kiss me.”

“Kiss you?” you thought he said in a disgust manner. You couldn’t see Heeseung’s face turning pale, not expecting you to want a kiss, especially from him. “Just do it please,” you embarrassingly begged. “Please, you told me to say what’s on my mind,” you throw his own words at him.

“Sorry,” Heeseung apologized, his mind fuzzy on what the hell was happening. Him having you on his bed and extremely horny was almost enough to make him blow his load. You knocking on his door asking him to finger fuck you is real. His heart jumped realizing this wasn’t at all an act.

Fidgeting your fingers is something you did when you’re nervous. You had no reason to be nervous since it was just Heeseung, your roommate who you had no sexual attraction for. Maybe you were just scared that the theory was right.

You felt Heeseung’s large hand cupping your chin to pull you in for a gentle kiss. It catches you by surprise that he’d actually kiss you, but you lean into his touch, feeling his soft lips. His mouth was tender against yours and a hand guided your face closer as he lightly licked his way into your mouth. You didn’t know what to expect when kissing Heeseung, but the kiss was great, meeting the exceptions that you didn’t have.

You feel his presence next to you gone until he was now on top of you, pressing his body against yours. You left a low groan of approval before your warm tongue tickled his. Heeseung kissed you with passion, you weren’t the only one hungry.

You don’t hesitate to pull down your panties until the clothing reaches your thighs. “Touch me here again,” you pulled away from kissing him to reach for his hand and guide it down to your core.

Heeseung was surprised to see your panties already off, “Are you eager for me?” he mumbled against your lips, trailing his hands down you thigh, ironically wanting you to beg for him.

His touch tickles your skin while the realization of wanting Heeseung hits you. “I-I thought you said to forget that it’s you touching me?” you deny your sexual desire for your roommate.

“It doesn’t seem like you want to forget it’s me,” Heeseung vocalizes and you gulp, trying to think of a valid excuse. “I just want to use your fingers please. Don’t think anything of it.”

Heeseung pushes his feelings aside, wanting to do the job of making you feel as good as possible, because it was the least he could do in this situation. He presses a quick kiss on you before making contact on your folds with his digits. He circled his thumb around your clit as you bit your lower lip, preparing yourself to what's to come.

A pathetic whine leaves your lips when you feel Heeseung plunge his thick finger inside you. Your hand bolts to his forearm with nails leaving marks on his skin at the sudden stretch.

“You’re so wet, but so tight with only one finger in you,” Heeseung says. You take a deep breath, waiting to take more of him. It’s too bad that you can’t watch his movements- what he’s about to do. Everything was a surprise for you.

“It’s been so long-“ you felt your walls clenching around him when he adds another finger to it.

He sprinkles sweet kisses on your jaw with both digits inside you, starting off slow but still moving. He curls upward and ends up pressing against a spot that you’ve never even thought was there. a spot that your own boyfriend didn’t manage to discover. “Heeseung,” you accidentally moan out causing his dick to twitch. It was evident that you didn’t want to forget it’s him who’s making you feel this good.

His only complaint was that he wished he took out his cock and jerked himself off while ramming his fingers inside you. “Who’s making you feel good, huh?” he said with a pensive face that wasn’t visible for your eyes to see. You stayed quiet, not wanting to say his name again. You ignored his words by lifting your hips to take him deeper until you whined aloud when you felt him gone. Before you could take off your blindfold, he did it for you.

Heeseung was knelt in front you with a deadpan face and his fingers in the air, glistening from your wetness. You sat up just enough to see him and shake your head, feeling confused and a bit mad that he suddenly stopped.

Heeseung holds his two digits in front of your face. Without much to say, you take them in your mouth — tasting yourself and sucking them clean. When you're done he puts them in his mouth, tasting both of yourself and your saliva.

You found the whole scene hot and you clench, already missing his fingers. It was like he could hear your thoughts when he shoved his fingers back in your hole, this time you were able to see how he was moving inside of you.

His fingers were thrusting in and out of you faster and deeper. Your eyes were staring at the ceiling and almost closed shut, it was becoming too much but it felt so fucking good. “Fuck, I think I’m close,” you groaned.

Heeseung moved even faster. The sounds of your wet pussy squelching loudly echoed into his bedroom. “Look at how my fingers are fucking you,” he grabbed your arm to get your attention.

You raise your head, trying to keep your eyes set on his fingers going in and out of you, but his face distracted you. There was a wrinkle in between his brows and he stuck his tongue out, just enough to where the tip is poking out.

Heeseung looked up, catching you staring at him, and you immediately watched at how he was fucking you, while feeling embarrassed that you got caught. He quietly laughed, knowing that you found him attractive and were close.

“Look at me while you cum,” Heeseung grunted for you to look at him. “Or I’ll stop again.”

At his words, you felt a deep pit in your stomach while thick fingers continued to roughly curl deep in you. You fought the urge to look away — to not look at him, but you desperately needed to cum.

You met his eye contact with fluttering eyes. he began to rub your clit with a thumb, sending you over the edge. “Ahh-“ your mouth quickly opened when a loud moan poured from your lips as you came. “Shit,” Heeseung cursed out watching your hips stutter when you emptied yourself on his fingers. It was the hottest thing he’d ever seen.

Once you met your peak, you quickly put your panties back on feeling suddenly vulnerable. You avoid Heeseung’s eye contact as well when he was licking his fingers of you clean. You were making the situation awkward as hell, but your feelings were all over the place and you didn’t know how to feel at the moment.

“Don’t be like that,” Heeseung pleaded while watching you put your tight shorts on. You turn your head at his voice, “What?” you couldn’t help the clueless expression on your face.

“You just gave me the best suck of my life and I almost made you cry with my fingers. It’s too late to do this awkward shit,” his fear of things being weird between you two was growing.

He was right. You were making things weirder than they should be, but you can’t help feeling overwhelmed. “Sorry,” you exhaled, “I just got cheated on and now I’m doing things with you. I can’t help but feel a bit- strange.”

“I know,” Heeseung affirms. “I get it Y/N, you’ve been with him for two years and this is all sudden.” You nod, feeling grateful that he understands. How is he so understanding?

“Thank you,” you expressed gratitude. You watched as the corners of his lips turned upwards. Despite his feelings for you, Heeseung was your friend and he had to act like it.

“And thank you for tonight,” you laugh while scratching your head and looking at the boy who didn’t want you to leave. “Goodnight Hee,” the nickname leaves your tongue which causes his face to lit up, “For real this time.”

“And I don’t regret anything,” you say before you left his room completely, not knowing where this leads you two. This was all Heeseung needed to hear to reassure himself that everything was going to be okay. Things maybe not the same, but okay and possibly normal with you.

—

A couple of days later after I guess you can say your mutual masturbation with Heeseung, things have been quite the same in the apartment. That night was never mentioned again and you were back to regular roommates with no sexual or awkward tension present.

His friends Sunghoon, Jake, and Jay came over again once a week, and you were forced to hang with them per Heeseung’s request. It felt different without Jeongin present but you tried not to think about it.

The question of whether or not Jeongin replied to your porn video still remained. You’ve been meaning to ask Heeseung but were hesitant since things were ‘normal’ again.

Not all things were normal. You still found yourself horny for Heeseung. It was quite unavoidable when you see him everyday and his room is on the other side of the apartment. You fought so hard to get rid of this feeling in your stomach and down to your core especially when knocking on his door was so easy. What held you back was not wanting to ruin the chance of losing a roomie.

“Hey did Jeongin ever text back?” you finally ask as soon as you entered your apartment after class. Heeseung was sitting on the couch and watching a movie while eating chewy candy. He turned his head around when you spoke.

“No he didn’t,” he said, watching you peering at the open fridge. “Oh okay,” there was disappointment expressed in your response.

Did Jeongin hate you this much that he didn’t care that you were messing around with his best friend? You start to question your two year relationship with him. “What do you want for dinner?” you interrupted your own thoughts.

Heeseung eyebrows rose a notch, “Why? Are you going to attempt to cook?” he gawked.

You turned to give a hostile glare, “What do you mean attempt? I know how to cook asshole.” You refuse to let him doubt your cooking skills.

“Well, I want anything that doesn’t require you using the stove and burning down the kitchen,” he chortled then sent his eyes back to the movie.

“Why are you so mean to me?” you asked as a joke, but also seriously, curious to why he always teased you. You thought his teasing jokes were subtle ways to show that he sees you like one of the boys. Oh how you were so wrong.

Heeseung heard your remark then approached you in the kitchen. An unintentional heavy breath left your mouth when he stood awfully close. Your eyes go straight to his lips when he’s standing before you. You hate that you wanted to kiss him again, you shouldn’t have these feelings. Maybe it was just sexual attraction and nothing more, but regardless, he was just a roommate. An already broken boundary you shouldn’t cross.

“I’m sorry it just comes out like a reflex,” he teased again before giving you a slight push, forcing you to move since you were blocking the fridge. When he found nothing and looked unsatisfied, he turned his head to you again.

“I want anything your creative mind makes,” he pats your head before walking to the couch to turn off the tv and heading in his room. Patting your head is a habit that he started last year, but he does it frequently now and you didn’t mind it.

Heeseung had a hard time ignoring his feelings and pretending that nothing happened that night. If anything, that night solidified how much he liked you. If only he knew how you felt about him.

—

More days went by and you were finally healing from your cheating ex. A big part of your healing had to do with yourself — but you couldn’t deny that a small part had to do with Heeseung.

Despite whenever you both felt about each other, you were now closer as friends. You learned more about each other during movie nights in the living room that would happen almost every night. You guys went grocery shopping together and were even invited at the same parties. Well, one party.

Tonight was Sunghoon’s birthday and he was hosting a party at his house. Heeseung’s friends were now your friends, so of course you were invited. Even though it would be convenient for you and Heeseung to attend together, you both agreed to go separately since you had a late class. Heeseung offered to stay and wait until your class ended but you refused his offer, not wanting to keep his time away from his friend’s party.

The party was bigger than you’d thought. Music was blasting loudly and there was so much alcohol, which made sense since Sunghoon turned 21. The house was overfilled with people like the entire campus of students were here.

You haven’t attended a party since high school and being in the middle of crowded spaces freaked you out. You searched through the crowd for Heeseung, his friends, or even the birthday boy, but they were nowhere to be found. You left Heeseung a text before you entered the house, asking where he was but there was no response.

Luckily, Jay approached you when he caught a few random guys offering you drinks. Jay walked you to the kitchen so you can finally breathe from suffocating in the wave of people. “Do you want water or a drink?” He asked after getting himself a beer. “Water’s fine,” you kindly nodded.

“Do you know if Heeseung’s here?” you take a sip of the water jay gave you. He shook his head, “I saw him a few minutes ago but he disappeared.”

You checked your messages again and still no response. Why were you getting worried? “So,” Jay cleared his throat causing you to put your phone away. “Are you and Heeseung…” he slightly tilted his head from side to side, insinuating that he knew something. You instantly knew what he meant by the way his brow arched.

“What? No,” you tried to laugh. “I just got out of a relationship. Heeseung and I are just friends,” the accusation made you more flustered than it should. “Why, did he say something?”

“No,” Jay laughed before pausing. “Jake and I accidentally saw that video,” the words slipped out of his mouth and you swore you felt your heart dropped out of your chest.

“The one where you…” he did the typical ‘sucking dick’ motion with his hands.

“Stop. I know what video,” you sneered. How the fuck did they see that? “We only saw like a few seconds of it. We were using his phone to order pizza and it was in his camera roll.”

That means he hasn’t deleted it. Should you feel happy? angry? “That meant nothing, we were getting revenge on Jeongin.” You defend yourself with redden cheeks. Jay nods his head, “Yeah, Heeseung told us.” Your heart was having a hard time beating back to normal.

“It’s funny how you both reacted the same though,” he pestered, “All freaked out.”

You shake your head finding his comment funny, “That was my first porn video okay? I thought Heeseung deleted it.” Lie. You never asked him to.

Before you grabbed yourself a beer, thinking about not being sober tonight, you see Jake walk with a girl in his arm. Sunghoon also trails behind him and they all greet you, including Jake’s girl.

“Hey where’s Heeseung?” Jay asked because he knew you were looking for him. Sunghoon and Jake both shrug their shoulders, not knowing where he was.

“He’s with Yena,” the girl in Jake’s arms said. At her words, you reached for the cooler and grabbed yourself a beer, taking a big gulp of it. The boys looked at you in shock. “Who’s Yena?” Jay questioned for you once more.

“Choi Yena, the girl he’s fucking upstairs,” Jake’s girl announced, “She’s a third year.” Jake tapped her shoulders, indirectly asking her to stop talking when he saw your unpleasant face. You pressed your lips flat and stared the floor, a weird new feeling entered your chest. Something felt tight inside and you obviously knew what it was.

“I think I’m going to go home. Happy birthday Sunghoon, sorry I can’t stay. I have an early class tomorrow,” you murmured after placing the empty beer bottle on the corner of the kitchen counter. The boys showed concern, asking if you were okay and needed a ride home. You put on a fake smile and said you were good enough to drive home. You weren’t drunk, yet not all sober.

“Do you want us to tell him something when we see him?” Sunghoon asked and you instantly shook your head. “No, it’s okay.”

You walked out of the party feeling miserable. You made it home safe and stupid tears came out of your eyes as soon as you went into bed.

You like Lee Heeseung and it was hard to deny.

—

The truth was that Heeseung tried to forget his feelings for you. He convinced himself to get laid at the party, thinking it would solve his problems. So tonight when he had a couple drinks in his system, he met Choi Yena. He made out with her and eventually both of their clothes were off, but things horribly escalated when Yena asked him if he could fuck her with his fingers.

Of course this reminded of you — you knocking on his door after sucking his dick, asking the same thing. He couldn’t do Yena. He liked you too much that fucking someone else felt wrong.

Heeseung didn’t know you felt the same way, but he stayed loyal to you anyways. He left Yena alone in the room, running downstairs looking for you.

“Did you see Y/N yet?” Heeseung hurriedly asked Jay who was in the backyard. “You just missed her bro,” Jay lightly scoffed. “Why’d she leave?” his voice thick and unsteady.

“She overheard that you were fucking Yena,” Jay explained and Heeseung’s heart dropped as he took out his phone. Fuck. Two delivered text messages and a missed call from you. “I have to go,” there was a guilty look of his face as he stormed off. Jay was left alone, laughing at his intuition that turned out to be right.

Heeseung was sober enough to drive home. He didn’t know if you knew that he was with Yena tonight, but his heart raced hoping you didn’t. He wanted to talk to you tonight and settle what’s going on between you two because finally, he knew how you felt. You were jealous. He wasn’t sure if he was going to confess his feelings, but he was tired of this unclear tension.

You unfortunately pretended to be asleep when he came home and knocked on your door. You didn’t want to see him with tears in your eyes.

Because this time you were crying over him.

—

You weren’t lying about having class in the morning. Your class was too early that you almost fell asleep from the events of last night. Then suddenly, a notification on your phone caused you to jump in your seat. It was from Jeongin. You cursed at yourself, forgetting to block his number.

[8:46 am] jeongin: i need to talk to you. meet me outside in the front after your class

Now he wants to talk? Thoughts invaded your head. Maybe he watched the video. Maybe he wanted to beg for you to get back together with him. Possibly, this was closure.

Simultaneously, you get a text from Jay, which was unexpected since you forgot that you guys had each other’s number.

[8:48 am] jay: sorry that this text from me is random and you probably think that this is weird since i’m awake at this hour

heeseung didn’t fuck yena. he actually left her to look for you then went home after

You let out a huge sigh of relief but you felt odd, thinking about your jealously when you thought Heeseung was fucking another girl. You regret storming off at your friend’s birthday party and feeling that way because you guys weren’t a couple. You regret showing your jealously in front of his friends. It was quite humiliating.

Despite that, one thing you thought was: Does Heeseung know why you stormed off last night?

—

Heeseung still planned to talk to you today. The problem was that he forgot you had an early class, but in his favor, he had time to prepare what to say. Was he going to confess?

Heeseung was nervous. He was so nervous, he had to piss every five minutes. There was about ten minutes left until your class ended so he sat on couch impatiently, glancing at his phone and watching time slowly pass by, waiting for you to come home.

You took longer than expected and he was getting impatient. Promptly, he heard the rustling of the keys and stood to watch you walk in. All he thought about was finally seeing you and not the way he looked super awkward and a bit creepy when staring at the door. Once the door open, a quick frown and a hint of anger fell upon his face.

“Motherfucker,” Heeseung blurted out when he saw no other than Jeongin, standing in your guy’s apartment. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Heeseung approached him and sounded more angry than he had intended to be.

“Y/N gave me her keys,” Jeongin waved your keys in the air. It’s been three weeks since Jeongin called off the friendship and him cheating on you. They haven’t spoken to each other since. “She didn’t tell me that you were coming,” Heeseung’s voice went deep, not believing that you would let your stupid ex step foot in the apartment.

“She told me to pick up her jacket since it’s cold outside,” Jeongin said before walking further into your home like it was just a normal day. “Let me do it,” Heeseung urged with a shake of his head, trying to block the entrance of your room.

“No,” Jeongin lightly pushed Heeseung aside. All Heeseung wanted was to punched him in the face, but he held himself back since Jeongin was his best friend and he was your boyfriend.

“You’re not her boyfriend,” Jeongin laughed as if Heeseung was dumb. Heeseung clenched his jaw, frustrated at the scene. He didn’t expect to argue with his ex bestfriend today.

Jeongin was in your bedroom now, looking through your closet. “You’re not her boyfriend either,” Heeseung gave him a hard scoff.

At his response, Jeongin’s face fell with a sudden change of expression. “She didn’t tell you?” he said wryly, which left Heeseung stunned. His heart practically jumped out his chest, no way he thought, understanding what he had implied.

“You and Y/N got back together?” he asked with a shaky voice and churned feeling in his stomach. he felt sick. It was like was going to throw up.

“Yeah, we just made up this morning,” Jeongin stated and Heeseung stiffened as he stood in disbelief. “How’d you make up?” he asked an abnormal question that caused a laugh out of Jeongin. “Of course you always would like to know the details.”

“It’s not like that,” Heeseung fought back. “You fucking cheated on her, so I’m surprised that she would go back to you,” he was bitter and pissed. Rage fueled inside him because after everything he’s done, how could you go back to him?

Heeseung wished he knew what was going inside your head, he wished you could’ve chosen him.

“We’ve been together for two years. She told me that she still loves me and we fucked in the car after her class,” he paused. “I’m sure she missed that too,” Jeongin spits out, watching Heeseung stand speechless and defeated.

“I have to go,” Jeongin closed your bedroom door, “Can’t keep her waiting in the cold.” He grabbed a sweater from your closet and a small bag that was left close to your door before leaving.

Heeseung clenched his fist in exasperation. “Fuck!” he loudly yelled, anger overpowering him.

He was angry at everything. Angry at you, Jeongin, angry that his feelings got in the way of just being roommates. He should have never initiated that revenge plan, because now it seems like you just used him to get back together with your ex.

—

Your meeting with Jeongin was pretty simple. He told you he watched the video and in fact, He admitted cheating on you. Rather than being angry at the video, he begged for you to take him back. Obviously you told him to get lost, not forgetting the emotional damage that he’d done.

Your clear feelings for Heeseung also helped to admit to yourself that you wanted to be with him. But you were still hesitant to confess to him, feeling unsure if Heeseung felt the same way. You planned to keep this facade that he was just a roommate, a friend, and nothing more.

When you came home after meeting with Jeongin, Heeseung’s car wasn’t there. You even knocked on his door and there was no answer. He probably had a class, you thought. You put on a movie and sat on the couch, waiting all day for him to come home. It worried you when he didn’t.

[6:27 pm] you: hi are you coming home? i plan to watch toy story tonight :P

[7:49 pm] hee: sorry, i’m not gonna be home tonight or for a few days

[7:50 pm] you: is something wrong?

[8:21 pm] hee: nah. my mom just wants me to stay at her place for a while

[8:24 pm] you: ok come back home soon

[8:26 pm] read

Your chest pained noticing that he read your message. He was acting off, acting like you guys weren’t friends anymore. Overthinking questions took over your mind. Did Jay tell Heeseung the actual reason you left the party so early? Was Heeseung uncomfortable living with you knowing how you felt about him? You were scared.

It felt like months living in the apartment by yourself, but it has only been a week since Heeseung left to stay with his mom. It was lonely.

You ate dinner with yourself, went grocery shopping with yourself, had movie nights by yourself. Even Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon didn’t come over, which made sense since they were Heeseung’s friends. You still missed the company.

Does Heeseung hate me? Am I losing him? Your thoughts continued to take over again, and again.

Heeseung felt like a pussy when he temporarily moved out of the apartment. He wasn’t the type to run away, but you were the first girl who made him feel this way. It’s was understandable that he was making irrational decisions. He felt like a teenage boy, heartbroken that his crush was with someone else. He hated feeling this way.

And you’d never thought that you could miss someone this much until Heeseung wasn’t around. It was the same lonely routine every day, and it fucking sucked because it wasn’t that you missed having a roommate. You just missed him.

It’s been three weeks. You and Heeseung haven’t talked at all — not one text message or call. You both loathed allowing your friendship fall apart.

—

Heeseung’s mom forced him to come back to the apartment, not for you though. It was because he skipped classes without a reasonable excuse.

You were in your room until you heard the door open. In a swift movement, you were in the living room and watching Heeseung come in. It was embarrassing how quick you were to greet him.

“Hey,” you said a bit too happy, surprised to see him home. Heeseung gave you a quick smile before walking in the laundry room. You follow him, even if it seemed annoying since he just got home, and he didn’t bother to acknowledge you.

“You know, I missed you.” You rest your hand on the dryer and watched as he dumped his clothes in the washer from his bag. “Hm?” he hummed, still occupied, pretending that he didn’t hear you.

“The apartment was empty without you,” you went straight to the point, not caring that you weren’t being subtle about your feelings.

Heeseung was quiet for a long time, he didn’t have a response, not one that you would be happy with at least. He continued putting his clothes in the washer, acting like you weren’t present. He was stubborn to the extreme and you hated it because his reasons were unknown.

You mentally curse in your head, guilt creeping upon you when you blamed yourself for how he’s acting. “Heeseung, I’m sorry if the revenge plot was too much. I’m sorry if it’s like I used you.”

“It’s fine, Y/N,” he quickly responded, finally lifting his head to meet your gaze. “I’m the one who came up with the plan,” Heeseung mumbled before leaving you alone in the room. You follow him once more, not caring if you were bothering.

There was something he wasn’t mentioning and he was closing himself off. “Do you wanna fuck me this time?” You let your impulsive thoughts win, “Or do you want me to suck your dick again?”

Heeseung instantly turned around, “What the fuck are you saying?” He looked appalled by your cold tone and abrupt words. You felt your chin quiver, fuck it was like you were about to cry.

“I haven’t seen you since the day of Sunghoon’s party and you have been ignoring me since,” you let out a loud exhale, pulling yourself together. “Did something happen or did I do something?”

You heard resentment when he sighed, “What do you mean ‘did something happen?’ Why are you asking me to fuck you when you have a boyfriend?” Heeseung said calmly, but he sure didn't feel that way. “You got cheated on, Y/N, remember? Are you gonna cheat on him like he did to you?” Confusion kept rising inside him, he fought to not let it turn to rage.

You stared at him for a few seconds, before regaining your composure, “What are you saying? I broke it off with Jeongin the day you went to your mom’s place,” you tell him as he listens.

“He admitted to cheating,” you both froze and stood there for a moment until you spoke again, “I broke it off with him for good.”

“He came over and told me that you guys got back together,” Heeseung tried to keep his voice low, explaining his encounter with Jeongin while having a slow realization of what actually happened. “He said you guys fucked.”

“We didn’t fuck,” you gave Heeseung the truth, “And I should’ve let you know, but I told him to pick up his things in my room since I had class and couldn’t do it for him. He gave me back the keys so he won’t be coming here anymore.”

Heeseung was quiet for a long time. He didn’t have a response because he was busy feeling stupid for being played by Jeongin.

“Was that why you left?” You interrupt Heeseung’s conscience, “Because of what Jeongin said?”

He nodded. “If I saw you that day I would’ve yelled at you. I would’ve asked why the fuck you would go back to him.” You took in his words while deep lines appeared on your forehead.

“You would be that mad if I got back together with him?”

“Yes,” Heeseung spoke. “Because I want you to be with me,” His last words spilled out and you stared at him in shock. Heeseung hadn’t expect to confess so soon but he couldn’t wait anymore.

“You mean that?” you asked, slow and processing his declaration. Of course you had feelings for him as well, but you tried to bury them, thinking he didn’t feel the same.

“I thought it was obvious that I want to be with you,” he let out a sound that was similar to a laugh. You approach him close with a shake of your head, “It wasn’t obvious to me.”

“Maybe I was too naive because of my feelings for you,” you smiled hopefully at him with your heart pounding, as anticipation built up inside wondering what he would say.

Heeseung’s cheeks heat at the endearment, “Feelings for me?” he repeats your words, wanting you to say aloud how you felt about him.

“I want to be with you too, Lee Heeseung.” There wasn’t an ounce of hesitation when you answered him. “Fuck,” you burt out, “A month ago I would’ve thrown up if I ever said those words.”

He rolls his eyes at your attempt of teasing.

You then watch as Heeseung approaches you, cupping your face with both hands, looking at you with desire. You lean into his hands before he kisses you softly. The kiss was sensual, causing both of your hearts to race in unison.

“I can’t believe he played us,” your mind still occupied of what Jeongin did, “We were supposed to get revenge on him.” You lightly complained at the plan that backfired. “Do you wanna fuck and send him a video?” Heeseung suggested, noticing your disappointment.

“No,” you were quick to refuse. “I don’t want him to see you balls deep inside me,” you say before he could speak. Heeseung gives you a kiss, trying to ignore his uncomfortable feeling down there. You lace your fingertips with his and lead both of you into your bedroom.

You pushed him, just hard enough so that he was sitting on your bed leaning against your headboard. His brows rose at your sudden dominance, enjoying every second of it. You climb atop of him as a raspy breath fell off your lips when he stripped you in a matter of seconds.

He loved the view of you removing his shirt while straddling him. It was nothing like he had imagined. You hook your fingers into his waistband and pull his pants down just enough to draw his hard cock out. He bites his lip hard enough to bruise, your touch igniting his skin.

He takes his fingers and brings it down to your core, you were wet enough that he didn’t need to prepare you, but he did anyways. Heeseung shoved his two digits inside you, stretching you out so that you’re able to take his length.

You were both in shock of how easily he was able to slip his fingers while moving in and out. Once he removed himself, you hurriedly opened the drawer of the nightstand next to your bed to get a condom. Heeseung massages your ass with a smirk on his face, grateful that you remembered to use protection. You open the foiled packet and roll the rubber onto him. Heeseung watches your movement and hisses, feeling sensitive and ready to be inside you.

You stroke him, signaling that you're ready to take him. Heeseung nods before you lift your hips and align his cock with yourself, his hands resting on your hips as you hold onto his shoulders. You watch as you carefully lower yourself and he helps you by slightly bucking himself in the air to meet you halfway. He stretched you out perfectly, a strangled groan left you mouth when it stung. It took time to adjust to his size, but Heeseung didn’t mind, wanting to take his time with you.

“Good?” Heeseung asked, looking for any discomfort on your face after a moment of silence. “Yes,” you began to roll your hips after adjusting, earning a deep groan from him. You grabbed ahold of his shoulders to steady yourself as you increase your pace. "Kiss me,” he breathed and it took you a moment to look at him.

Your face heated up because of the lustful expression on his face. Finally, you brought your lips onto his and and the kiss was sloppy, loud, and wetter than ever. You could feel that he was desperately trying to get closer to you by the way his arm wrapped around your waist, causing your chest to fully become pressed against his own.

He gently bit and pulled on your lower lip before slipping his tongue in your mouth. Your walls squeezed around him with each moan you let out.

“H-heeseung,” you groaned without thought. He gripped your hips as you bounced up and down on his twitching cock. “Hm?” he hummed, unable to let out words that made sense.

“I l-love your dick,” you vocalized, still holding onto his shoulders for leverage as you moved faster. Heeseung bucked his hips while grabbing your breast before putting it into his mouth.

He kisses your breast and sucks on your nipple for a while until he felt your legs begin to shake. He started to maintain a steady pace for you, noticing that you were getting tired. “You close?” he asks and your moans turned into whines, wordlessly begging for him to let you come.

Your legs couldn’t keep up anymore, since it’s been so long since you were on top. Heeseung seeing it in your face, grabbed you with one arm and turn both of your bodies around, his length not slipping out of you once. He was now hovering over you, his cock going even deeper.

You tried your best, holding that feeling in your stomach and clenching on him as he was increasing his pace with each hard thrust. “I can’t hold it in,” you tried your best not to groan and release with pleasure. “You can do it, I’m almost close,” Heeseung said. “Please, for me,” he choked out as you threw your head back into the pillow. You let out a whimper as he placed a hand on your hip, gripping it to angle deeper and faster.

Heeseung was watching you with hard eyes as you took his cock in ecstasy. “Look at me, Y/N,” he heavily breathed before you opened her eyes. you glanced at his muscles flexing while he was keeping a rhythm that was becoming too much.

Your mouth parted and Heeseung took the chance to kiss you. Your lips met, exchanging warm breaths and loud moans into each other’s mouths while he continued rocking his hips. “Hee-,” you begged as you hugged him closer.

“Come,” he softly kissed you, slowly slowing down his rhythm but still fast enough for you to meet your peak. “Cum for me,” he growled. your mouth quickly opened when a loud moan poured from your lips as you came. “Fuck-“ Heeseung cursed out, his hips stuttering as he emptied himself inside the condom. You felt him collapse on top of you, kissing your neck as you held his shoulders with your face nuzzled into his hair.

You both took a few minutes catching your breaths together until Heeseung finally slid out of you, tiring the condom off and throwing it in the trash that was next to your bed. You watched as he rolls his body to lay next to you. “Go pee,” he tells you, removing hair that was covering your face. After you went to the bathroom, he patted the space next him, a smile plastered on his face, wanting you to lay next to him.

He helped to shift your body by putting his arm around you so that your head was placed on his chest. “I have a question,” you announced, hearing and feeling his racing heart. “Shoot,” his husky voice responds, open to answer anything.

“Did you masturbate to the first video we made?” you questioned, still remembering that Heeseung probably hasn’t deleted that video on his phone.

Heeseung trained his eyes so that it was on you. your curiosity caused a big exhale out of him, “Yeah, I did,” he said simply, “Every night.” You raised your head as you lightly slapped his chest.

Your eyes grew big at his honesty, “You pervert!”

Heeseung surrendered himself with hands in the air, “It’s not my fault that you looked too good having my cock in your throat.”

At his cheesy response, you give him a quick kiss. “We can still make a sex tape,” you propose. “But just for our eyes to see…”

“And not our friends,” you stare intently at him. Confusion twists his eyebrows together, until he realized what you’d meant. “I’ll save it in a private album next time.” You grin at the thought of the ‘next time’ with him.

Heeseung kisses the top of your head while shutting his eyes and pulling you close into his embrace. He expects to wake up next to you, hoping that this is not a dream, that this is all real.

You lay happily in his arms — falling asleep, waking up, and living next to someone you have never thought could be yours. Maybe this whole time, Lee Heeseung was just what you needed.

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#enhypen smut #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen hard hours #heeseung smut #heeseung hard hours #heeseung hard thoughts #kpop smut #heeseung fic #heeseung fanfiction #enhypen fic

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noisyquokka · 1 month

Text

Try Again

PAIRING - Hyunjin x GN!Reader

SYNOPSIS - After a short-lived relationship ends, Hyunjin struggles with the idea of “just friends”. Three years later, it seems you haven’t lost interest either.

WORDCOUNT - 2.9k

WARNINGS - lovers to friends to …., mutual pining, jealous!Hyunjin, a lil playful banter/angst that turns kinda steamy, kinda left open-ended... part 2 perhaps? 🤨

A/N - Literal WEEKS late, but uhhh… that’s never stopped me before! 🤭 My little addition for Hyune Day! Enjoy, Darlings! 💛

(Based loosely on Try Again - PRETTYMUCH cause I've been listening to it on repeat and it feels like a Hyunjin song to me, personally. I also wrote this to satisfy my insatiable love for watching him practice, cause let's be honest... choreographer!Hyunjin just hits different iykyk)

“Would you at least take some videos if you’re gonna bury your head in your phone?”

Your eyes sweep up to the shadow of the man who pauses his movement in the middle of the studio. Hyunjin straightens up, his fingers reaching for the brim of his hat. He pulls it off and runs his fingers through his dampened tresses, already sweaty from the past hour of practice.

“Well, excuse me, Hwang,” you mutter, resting your hand on your thigh. “I didn’t know I was summoned here to be your videographer.”

“You’re supposed to be critiquing my choreo so far.”

He’s been working on this choreo for his new solo, and while he didn’t expect you to drop in, he knows Minho has some part in you ending up here. Why? Because he was stupid enough to spill his feelings to him in full confidence that Minho would keep his mouth shut. One could say he kept his word, but still, he plays with fire in his process.

“Ah, right…” God, is it fun to ponder your next remark. You smirk as you watch him reach for the open water bottle near him. “Not enough sneaker squeaks.”

His hand pauses mid-drink, bourbon eyes cutting to your proud little grin. Your eyes are already back on the phone in your grip, tapping away like you’re texting someone. For a moment, Hyunjin is itching to know who it could be. But then he reminds himself that you’re not together anymore. He tilts his head slightly, tries not to let it bother him.

“You’re so unserious, my god,” Hyunjin mutters, and swipes at his forehead with a huff.

Your grin turns into a playful lip bite, and you can’t help but tease him a little.

“I’m being completely serious.” Your eyes find him again, and he exhales heavily. “The sneaker squeaks are an essential part of the performance. How will anyone memorize your routine if they can’t count the squeaks?”

“Okay.” He scoffs, pushing his hair back and putting his hat back on, swiftly turning back to his Bluetooth. You mock him with your typical Hwang Hyunjin voice, not noticing the way he shakes his head and smirks to himself.

Hyunjin taps the play button on his phone, taking a deep breath as he readies himself for another run-through.

It’s been hours since he started working on this specific number, and while the comeback wasn’t for a couple of months, he thought getting ahead of schedule would be nice. However, your being around brought on a difficulty to slip into the choreographer head space. Ever since his conversation with Minho, and Minho's comment about how you quote-unquote very well feel the same, I mean, have you seen the way they look at you?!, he’s been the embodiment of a goldfish in a bowl. He wishes things would’ve started off better because apparently, this lovers-to-friends plot line was only digging his early grave. Hyunjin’s fairly certain that after you two broke up, you only agreed to stay friends because you made good connections with the rest of the boys.

The rational side of him knows that’s not the truth.

Fucking less than five months and the metaphorical flames fizzle like a defective sparkler.

The only problem is that those feelings never fizzled for him. Even now, his heart stutters in his chest when you lock eyes with him. When you give him one of your little grins and cock your head as if to say you’ve won in the various dumb debates that you love to drag each other into.

Like right now.

“Seungmin agrees with me,” you say, standing up and shoving your phone at him right as he begins the dance. Hyunjin’s brows raise, blinking and tilting his head in a non-verbal question to get you to move.

“Seungmin agrees with you because it’s a dumb argument… and it’s you versus me.” he mutters the last part, watching you roll your eyes and backtracking to your spot.

“If you’re so confident in this, why am I still here?”

“You could leave,” Hyunjin says, his exertion making his comment sound harsher than he meant it to be. He locks eyes with yours in the mirror, his dark tresses falling in his line of sight. The smirk that threatens to quirk his lips sneaks in when you seemingly freeze on the spot, your eyes wider than usual. “I know you’ve got work in the morning.”

You’re mulling it over in your head now — a glimmer in your eye that Hyunjin pinpoints as he attempts to keep track of where he is in the choreography. He watches your eyes sweep to the phone, most likely checking the time. It’s roughly 1:00 am. You lock eyes again, the answer clear before you speak.

“Well, now I’m not leaving since you want me to.”

He gives a sardonic laugh, rolls his eyes as his foot slips and he misses a beat. Distractions…

“I didn’t say that,” he replies lowly, snatching the towel off the top of the stereo.

“You’re mumbling…”

“I said I didn’t say that,” Hyunjin speaks up, his hand bringing the fabric to his face to pat the sweat from his skin. You watch the drops of sweat as they drip off the ends of his hair when he pulls his hat off, and you feel the need to clear your throat. And then the towel is thrown haphazardly over his shoulder. All it has you doing is a double-take on the black tee shirt he’s wearing. The way it hugs his shoulders and chest should be outlawed, you think.

But then he reaches for the open bottle of water again, and you purse your lips. It’s another short swig, a singular drop of water escaping from the corner of his mouth. It travels down his chin, slowly slipping down the length of his neck, your eyes trained on the path it follows. It stops just before the collar of his black tee and you question why it’s suddenly hotter in the studio.

You swallow, forcing your gaze away and back to your phone before Hyunjin can witness any more of your blatant ogling. As you return your gaze to your phone, you feel the heat rising to your cheeks. You’re not embarrassed, not really, but the idea of getting caught sends your brain into overdrive.

“Still waiting on some critique I can work with~” he sing-songs, placing the bottle and towel back beside his phone.

“Maybe I don’t have anything to say,” you reply, and he chuckles.

“You?! With nothing to say? That’s a first.” He walks over, leaning against the wall and folding his arms over his chest.

With the wave of feelings you’re dealing with, Hyunjin’s comment has you bristling. You glare up at him as he arches a brow at you as if challenging you to say something. That stupid smirk quirks his lips. Butterflies swarm in your gut.

“Fine, then.” You lean forward, propping your forearm on your knee as the two of you stare each other down. “You’ve been favoring your right leg through the entire first verse of the song, your hip rolls aren’t deep enough during the chorus, you seem undecided on whether the overall choreo should be slower or faster—” You list off each critique on your fingers, and while Hyunjin wanted your genuine criticism to work toward a better overall performance, he’s clocked out to what you’re saying. His eyes sweep over your face as you continue listing the things he could improve, and he grins at the way your eyes seem to glow in the studio lighting. A fire. Passion for the things he’s passionate about.

“—And another… thing…” Your voice drops to a surprised whisper almost instantly when you feel Hyunjin’s fingers curl under your chin, feather-light against your skin. You blink, realizing just how close he’s gotten, having bent down so his elbows rest on his knees. His head cocks slightly, tongue darting out to lick the corner of his lips. Brown eyes flicker down to yours a moment later.

“Another thing?” Hyunjin repeats, his tone a low murmur. His breaths mingle with yours, your heart beating erratically in such close proximity. His index finger runs the span of your jaw as he stares, a tangible connection that still feels natural and electric to him. A reminder of the silent tension that has always lingered.

The familiar scent of his cologne clouds your senses. It brings you back to the nights he used to spend at your apartment, with the two of you watching K-dramas until 3:00 am. Your bodies a mess of limbs in your bed, his distracting kisses up your neck until you’d try to playfully shove him away. He’d reach for your jaw to pull you in for soft kisses that would evolve into slow and lazy make-outs in his arms. Your eyes dart down at the reminder, and you mentally curse yourself.

“I, Uh.” you stammer out a few words before falling silent, your eyes fixated on his. The moment hangs in the air, the tension between you thick and palpable.

Something, something, boundaries… Something, something, self-control…

Hyunjin can’t help the sly grin, feeling the skin under his touch move when you swallow. All logic has left you in favor of longing for those familiar caresses you had years ago. It sure hasn’t changed, every subtle brush of his fingers ushers forth shivers down your spine. You are teetering on the edge of a cliff, the question being do you jump? You want to. Hell, with the way Hyunjin’s gaze keeps darting down, you can’t help but wonder if he’s feeling the same way.

You attempt to regain control of yourself, but it’s futile — your focus is lost, distracted by the proximity of his lips. Fuck, is he leaning in…

“Your expressions.” You finally manage, the only lingering critique swirling around in your head. “They, uh, could be sharper…” You say, watching Hyunjin sharpen his gaze like a conniving fox. And like a trickster, his fingers drag from your jaw to your neck, dark eyes following its path until the steady thrum of your pulse halts his journey. Your eyes drink him in, lips parted as Hyunjin’s brow twitches in a knowing gesture.

We can’t do this, not after all this time.

The silence crackles with anticipation. You’re fairly certain that Hyunjin knows some part of this is dangerous cause he hesitates for a moment. But then he’s leaning in, his thumb tracing circles against your neck. You mirror his movements, so close that this sliver of distance feels like a challenge. Unspoken desire hums between you two, a heat that has always lingered, just waiting for the right moment to reignite.

Just friends…

The soft brush of Hyunjin’s lips against yours slams the factory reset on your thoughts, mental gymnastics be damned. The tension snaps like a rubber band. You finally give in, capturing his mouth in a meaningful liplock. It feels like no time has passed - he still kisses you with the same careful tenderness that he always has. That familiar heat runs through your body as you sink into him, chasing his lips when he pulls away for a split second only to recapture yours with a fervor.

Your phone is forgotten in your lap, hands sliding up his chest in a new wave of confidence. You pull him closer and Hyunjin groans softly, his free hand coming up to brace his weight against the wall behind you. Your mouths move together in a seamless rhythm, your kisses growing hungrier and more desperate. The brim of his hat grazes your forehead and you slip one of your hands higher into his hair, hooking your finger around the strap. It falls to the floor with a dull thud, allowing your fingers to rake freely through his dark tresses. A subtle pull that has him smirking against your mouth.

Hyunjin pulls back slightly, his fingers sliding from your neck to your jaw. Your lips part in a sigh as you both sit there on the floor of the dance studio, panting against each other’s mouths. Eyes closed, you feel his forehead rest against yours, your noses brushing. You bite your lip, savoring the warmth of his skin on yours.

“I’ve missed this,” he tells you, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Me too.” You murmur, lashes fluttering. God, what an understatement. You’ve been close even after you ended things, with friendly shoves and your usual back-and-forth banter. But the feel of his warm hands against your skin, the comfort of his close presence, his plush lips. This is what you’ve truly been craving.

His scent lingers in your lungs, his heart beating steady beneath your palm. You feel Hyunjin’s fingers knead the skin of your jaw, tilting your head up so he can come back for another chaste kiss that soothes the ache in your chest. He pulls back, pressing his lips to your forehead as he shifts to sit beside you on the studio floor, his back to the wall. You lean back, resting your head against the wall, your eyes locked on the ceiling.

Silence… as comfortable as it’s always been with the man beside you, you despise it right now. It only has you in your head after both of your confessions. What does it mean for you two?

Your gaze wanders back to his. Only those browns are already looking back, a softness in them that has always been there when they’re looking at you. Hyunjin gives you a half grin, reaching out for your nearest hand and slipping his fingers between your own. His thumb caresses the back of your hand as you both sit there, minutes passing by.

“You’re not going to say anything, are you?” Hyunjin’s voice shatters the silence, staring up at the ceiling.

“We should be running through what not to do when you stay friends with your ex right about now,” You’re half joking, but your tone is more tense than nonchalant. Hyunjin laughs under his breath, looking at you from the corner of his eye. You don’t look at him, but you feel him squeeze your hand lightly.

“You should know how difficult it is to stay friends with an ex.”

“Oh, is it?” A small huff escapes your mouth, and you steal another glance, licking your lips.

“You don’t need me to tell you why, do you?” Hyunjin replies, his voice a low murmur. His head turns to you, his gaze fixed on your lips as you bite at them nervously. “You could have cut all contact with me. You could have moved on and we would have gone our separate ways…”

“I didn’t want to do that.” You admit. Your fingers twitch in his palm, pads running over small callouses and lines as you try to distract yourself with something. Anything. His hand wraps around yours again, squeezing firmer this time. A gesture of reassurance.

“I didn’t either.”

You swallow, picking your gaze off your entwined hands, and your heart skips a beat when you meet his eyes.

“We’re gonna have to decide what this is, aren’t we?” You say, the words sounding more serious than intended. Hyunjin does respond immediately. He just stares, his eyes awash in a mix of emotions you can’t quite decipher. He breathes in, tilting his head slightly.

“Yeah…” He says, his voice low and steady. The weight of that realization settles on his chest, but Hyunjin shakes his head and offers you a genuine grin. “Maybe after a good night’s rest.”

“And a shower.” You smirk, pulling away from him in a joking fashion. But he pulls you back into him, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. You screw your face up and he rolls his eyes.

“Didn’t hear you complaining with my lips on yours just a moment ago.” He teases, nuzzling his nose against your cheek. You huff a laugh, leaning back against him.

“Hard to complain when you’re a good kisser.” you counter, bringing a hand up to his shoulder.

“Ah, couldn’t forget that over the years?” Hyunjin mutters, a hint of playfulness in his tone. His lips connect to the junction of your jaw, slowly trailing kisses down the hollow of your neck. Your fingers dig into his shoulder blade, your lashes fluttering over your cheeks.

“I don’t think I ever could.”

Your words send a rush of satisfaction through him and he nips at the sensitive skin just behind your ear. This closeness and playful back and forth is what he’s missed. A comfort that he never wanted to let go of. Even now, as the clock nears 2:00 am.

You capture his face in your hands and pull him back up with little argument, your thumb tracing the corner of his lips.

You don’t realize he’s leaning in again until you feel his lips on yours. It’s a slow and tender kiss this time, but the passion behind it burns hot. You revel in the subtle way he pulls you in, his hand falling off your shoulder to find purchase at your lower back.

Hyunjin eases up, and you’re left breathless yet again, your heart thumping in your chest.

“You gonna be able to sleep after this?” He asks, a sly grin curling his lips.

“Old habits die hard…” You breathe, pulling him in once again.

Psst!! If you've made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read my work 💕 I appreciate you!

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gyeomsweetgyeom · 7 months

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[10:13 pm]

(POOKIE PROPAGANDA!!! Anyway,, cw: this is mostly humor, with a weird smidge of angst)

Situationship!Jaehyun wishes he could focus on the show playing on his laptop. He was in the perfect position to lay back and relax after a long week. He was under his warmest blanket, laying in bed, and had you laying right beside him. He was big spoon as was his usual position when it came to cuddling. However, he wishes he could just put a stop to the constant repetition of the same song playing over and over again kissin’ I hope they caught us, kissin’ I hope they caught us. It was getting on his last nerve. That song paired with your excited giggles were driving him crazy knowing that it was some type of edit. You shouldn’t be looking at anyone else while cuddling with him!

He tried to peek over your shoulder, his show no longer keeping his interest while his curiosity (jealousy) was gnawing at his brain, but you were so curled in on yourself and covered with blankets that he couldn’t see anything. “I’m noticing that the edits are changing,” he heard a man say before Agora Hills started up again. He could confidently say that about 20 minutes ago he had nothing against Doja Cat, but now he could say he hated her. He had nothing against her beside the fact that her song was driving him up the wall.

And really he should have been grateful, the song was better than hearing the guy talk for a whole minute flirting at the camera, ugh how cringe. “Pookie” this and “Pookie” that and “Pookie, Pookie, Pookeh!” Jaehyun had had enough. He wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you impossibly closer, “What are you watching baby?”

You hummed before giggling at the video playing on your phone, “my husband.”

Jaehyun froze, his blood ran cold, he tightened his hold, “Who?”

You turned to face Jaehyun slightly, revealing a guy sitting in his car talking to his phone like a total loser, “Big Pookie.”

“Why are you saying all these names like I’m supposed to know who it is?”

“You don’t know Girl Dinner? Pray Pray?” You asked, Jaehyun shook his head, “God, I forget your for you page is aggressively male. You don’t know Prayag?”

“Why would I know him?”

“Because he’s an icon. Here, you have to have seen this,” you reply before pulling up a video where “Big Pookie” waves his hands and shakes his shoulders.

Jaehyun scoffs with an eye roll, “I can do that,” before he sits up and starts doing the most horrendous shimmy and pointing you have ever seen. He smirks, clearly thinking he’s just done something to drive you wild with lust, “does that make you want on your real man now?”

Your mouth closes to a flat line, “You’re not my anything.”

Then you turn over to face away from him again. He quickly turns you around to face him before the man in his car can recapture your attention. “Why would you be laying in my bed if we weren’t anything?”

You shrug, avoiding his gaze with a sudden shyness, “You never liked it when I called you my boyfriend before. You just ask me to come over and do all these relationship things without the commitment and I go along because I like you. I don’t want to lose you so I just go along.”

Jaehyun can feel his heart drop to the pit of his stomach, “I’m sorry I ever made you feel like that. I should have made my feelings more clear. I was an ass when we first started seeing each other, but if I’m being honest I thought that we’d been official for at least 3 months.”

Your jaw drops yet again, “When did you act any differently?”

“I thought me cooking your favorite meal over a candlelit dinner when I gave you that necklace was the turning point,” Jaehyun replies, playing with the chain around your neck with a very poorly concealed smirk.

You bury your face in his chest and groan out of embarrassment, “I could have been calling you my boyfriend this whole time!”

“Glad we cleared that up, can we watch the show again?” Jaehyun asks, saving you from more embarrassment.

You quickly roll over, facing the screen and Jaehyun feels a sense of ease and calm. Finally, he can relax. Until a few mainutes later when he hears your gasp and “Pookie, I don’t know whose hair this is.”

#kpop imagines #kpop au #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #nct #nct x reader #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct timestamp #nct blurbs #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun fluff #Jaehyun blurb #jaehyun timestamps

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reverieaa · 1 year

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Feel.

Let me start off by saying this: stop trying to find something that will finally trick your mind into believing it to be real.

I recently got curious as to why we read so much on how to manifest and once we have all the knowledge we need, we seek more and more.

The more we read the more clueless and helpless we feel. These are things I think abt often, in order to make my posts as helpful as possible because I see what a lot of you struggle in.

First you seek your desires, and when you're told you should not seek your desires-you seek to not seek them. You seek the feeling and then you're told it comes from the state- so now you seek to feel the state.

You read this post that tells you you should understand how loa works and now you seek to understand.

This is because you feel yourself to be a certain way, and take it as the truth.

I sat with myself and started thinking about where I went wrong, why I feel so trapped and helpless when I have knowledge on everything I need to know and more I order to manifest?

I came to the conclusion that to me, a lot of loa posts teach manifesting and everything around it like a school book. Like the topic itself is beautiful, but when you try to explain it logically, it becomes boring and forceful.

You seek more information because the way it's given to you.

I came to the conclusion that I never liked the word "belief", it's what always stopped. It traps me into trying hard, repeating info until you get overwhelmed and bullying yourself when you sprial. Creating blockages by feeling like something is wrong with you.

I'm glad Edward art's recent video talks about this, and as he would put it; it creates a hell of your own.

When you think of belief, you think of I think of habit and something that's hardended and complex. When you think of habit you think of repetition, and then you go back to repeating affirmations until you spiral again and fall down.

Only to ignore being honest with yourself because you're afraid and deny yourself that care when you need it to the most

Let me make it clear when I say: your problem is not belief, it is feeling.

If you are looking for a step by step loa manifestation routine that will guarantee you your desires faster than the void, you're in the wrong place, and have the wrong idea.

It is then when you sprial. When you restrict yourself and logically try to make yourself strongly belief in your manifestation.

A lot of you have seen repeating lines from every loa blog, mabye you're tired of us saying that "imagination is the only reality" and " you are God and other than you there is none above " and wished we'd say something different, something that would help you, but what else is there??

What else is there more to say after discovering you are God and that everything is a reflection within you?? Nothing because it covers everything there is to know.

You only "fail to manifest" when you fail to feel yourself be God. Not believe yourself be God, FEEL yourself to be God, feel to be the only reality, when you fail to feel yourself be the only one in power, that is when you state comes forward and you dress yourself in it.

Please meditate on my words, and truly accept yourself to be the only one. I'm talking about feeling it to the bone, not just become aware and then go onto the next post, realize what this means to you. The rest follows you, as everything does.

If it's said that everything is taken care of, thay you need only to go to the end, be aware that as God it is already so, then what else is there to do other than accept and feel how it is?

You only need to give yourself permission to shamelessly feel yourself to be, and all the worries you had before will quiet down. Do not think about checking how much you believe you have your desires and actually enjoy what it's like already having them.

Don't try to believe, but feel.

#affirm and persist #law of assumption #loa #manifesation #manifesting #neville goddard #3d #affirmations #loa methods #void state

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mochidoie · 11 months

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all i see is you - lee haechan

listen to: you by dj regard and poison by nct dream genre: fluff, hopelessly pining badboy!haechan wc: 720 warning: none, written in lowercase only

a/n: i felt very inspired by poison's track video, i can't stop thinking about the lyrics too ive been waiting for dreamies to do a rnb song for so long!! read part two!

"you're so bad for me." you push playfully at haechan's chest and god, just how he melts at how cute your smile looks under the night sky.

haechan leans against the street lamp post and smirks devilishly at your comment, hooded eyes eating up how prettily your attire fits you tonight. "if you mean bad meaning good, then i agree."

there goes your sweet laugh again, "very funny." your sarcastic response is typical, he could read you like an open book. spine against a table, pages flipping by the edge of his thumb.

"i'm serious, y/n. when are you gonna give me a chance to take you out?" haechan butters you up just like how you like it. his finger twirls the end of your skirt flirtatiously, causing your heart to race in your chest.

you can't stop the shy smile that appears on your red painted lips. "in your dreams, hyuck. i'm in no place in my life right now to be dating anyone." scoffing, you cross your arms.

you're goal driven, hardworking, you weren't going to let some sleazy guy distract you from chasing your career. despite all his efforts, you genuinely had to consider how haechan would actually throw you off track. your lifestyles are too different to meet a compromise.

he drops to your feet, noticing your shoe had been untied for the past two blocks. without a word or shift in conversation, this man obediently wraps the string around his fingers and brings the knot to a complete bow. this kind gesture never fails to swoon you.

"so don't date me. let me take you out from time to time, treat you nice and right. when you want to sleep in someone's arms at night, give me a call. i'm here at your disposal." haechan stands and hovers over you, polite hands hovering over your lower waist as he closes the distance between the two of you.

the way you blink at him with wanting eyes has him spiraling, he wants you so bad. just one glance and he's swept away, wind picking up his feet and has him tumbling.

"that is unfair to you."

"it's sweet to know that you care about me." haechan meant it, but the playfulness in his tone seems unserious. he isn't sure how only you can make him this way. it becomes hard for him to really express how much he dreams about you.

"of course i care about you." your eyes drop to his lips momentarily and his chest feels tight. it's almost criminal how good you two would be together and how happy he could make you.

slowly, you're drawn into him even more until his breath is against your cheekbone and you can hear the beating of both of your hearts in the silence of the night.

"you want me to be honest?" his voice is feathery and raspy, like he's trapped in your trance due to the proximity of your warmth. "i've lost count of how many times i've wanted to kiss you."

you call his name, pulling away slightly. a tinge of sadness and guilt in your tone, but haechan isn't having it. he shakes his head, "i know. i shouldn't be so selfish.. but you don't know how many times i fall to my knees just thinking about you."

your eyes meet at the end of his sentence and the desire intensifies between the two of you. lightning bolts zapping in the gaze, you can feel the blood rushing to your face.

something about how desperately infatuation haechan looks sparks a burning flame in your abdomen. how all he sees is you, his reflection full of your figure. how his plump lips are itching to touch your own.

his usual confident, playfully flirtatious personality is nowhere to be seen. you've never seen this expression on him before and it shocks you how much he has been holding himself back.

"pick me up at 8 tomorrow. no exceptions." you say firmly and with that smile he can't get enough of. backing up from him, you walk toward your door.

his ears are perked up, noting your words very clearly and not wanting to let this chance slip away from him. he smirks coolly and shoves his hands into his jean pockets, "you know i won't let you down."

read part two!

#nct scenarios #nct dream #haechan scenarios #haechan scenario #nct fluff #nct 127 #lee haechan #nct blurbs #nct scenario #nct dream scenarios #haechan imagines

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bonefall · 3 months

Note

God I am so tired of Bramble fans who refuse to use critical thinking and believe that brambleclaw and squilf are equally bad. Many also hate on moonkitti's video which they most likely haven't even watched or misconstrued points in it. You can like a character without defending all their actions please I'm begging you

And people will sometimes jump to their defense, saying that people just dogpiled them for liking a character the fandom doesn't like, and while that can happen, sometimes people are actually dogpiling them for ignoring abuse and insulting creators with different opinions

(Some discourse happened on Twitter recently about this but it's something I've seen happen before, I'm not specifically talking about anyone)

I'm going to be honest and drop my feelings.

Never have I ever actually SEEN a Bramblefan "get dogpiled" for liking Bramble.

I come out here on my massive soapbox every couple of weeks and drop whole essays on this guy, I chat casually about how important he is to me as a character, both as someone who was abused in a way similar to Squirrelflight AND as someone who can relate to Bramblestar's situation, and before BB got so large and my attention was easier to divide I even ran an AU called Sweet Nothings which had a "big brother" Bramble take in it.

There is no shortage of Bramblestar-related posts around here, yet, I have never, NEVER gotten shit for when I talk positively about Bramble.

In fact, he's commonly cited as one of the favorite cats to see on this blog from my audience. I get praise for addressing him with nuance, explaining how his actions are abuse while also keeping him human, talking about how his life is a painful cycle of self-doubt that makes him double down on his worst decisions. Every time I post about him, I get an influx of comments centered around how my takes on him are appreciated.

What I DO see is people who make art where they try to bothsides him and Squirrelflight, or say something completely false about his behavior, or straightup post DARVO tactics to defend their fav's honor. When someone makes a comment that goes "uhmm? Bit strange innit?" they call it "harassment." Or when people block them, they call that "receiving hate."

OR when someone makes a vaguepost like "Heyyy, DARVO is an abuse denial tactic where the abuser or their apologists Deny the abuse took place, Attack the accuser, and then Reverse Victim and Offender to claim they were actually the person harmed. Bramblestans are playing this out, step for step, and that's bad!" they call THAT dogpiling.

Meanwhile Moonkitti got death threats and was actually harassed for posting Bramblestar Is Worse. To the point where she is hesitant to ever make another video on the topic.

So y'know what? Hot take? The stans don't actually like Bramblestar. They like the vague idea of a sadboy character who broke free from his dad's legacy so they slurp up the framing of the notorious abuse apologist writers, and they get mad when people who have critically engaged with the books don't see what they desperately crave.

How can you really LIKE a character if you can't engage with their actions? If you need to surround yourself in an unpoppable bubble and can't accept anything he's done in the 20+ years he's been active? How can you truly love a man without all his mistakes?

It's sooo hard to be me, Tumblr User Bonefall, the ONLY one who likes Bramblestar correctly. It's rough out here.

#bone babble #Bramblestar #abuse apologia #tw abuse

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ponett · 5 months

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Bobby's 2023 Media Wrap-Up

So! Like I said before, this past year I kept a running list of everything I watched, every game I finished, every new album I listened to, etc., and wrote one-paragraph blurbs with my thoughts on every single one. Please enjoy this journey through everything I liked, or didn't like, in 2023, with my favorites of the year listed at the bottom.

(Yes! This is long!!)

Some notes:

I mainly only included things I finished. Exceptions are marked with an asterisk.

I included some YouTube stuff as "TV shows" - mostly particularly long, high effort video essays and documentaries.

I was a bit less adventurous than I'd like to have been this year. Part of this was just that I felt like I was constantly playing catch-up with Big Releases I felt obligated to check out, and part of this was just executive dysfunction from burnout. Wait until you see how long it took me to beat Mario Wonder lmao

Yes, I need to read more books. I don't read a lot of books these days. I need to get back to Discworld.

COLOR KEY

Video Games • TV / Web Video • Movies • Comics • Music

January

1/15: Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn (MSQ) - Very slow at times, the Primal shit is generally extremely lame to me outside of the boss fights themselves, but god if the quality of life improvements over WoW, the JRPG energy, and the fact that it Actually Has A Story carry it pretty hard.

1/18: Sonic the Hedgehog: Scrapnik Island miniseries - One of the most creative and compelling uses of the Sonic IP… ever? Fantastic little self-contained arc about the struggles of Eggman’s abandoned creations that gracefully weaves between heartfelt optimism and moody horror with some of the best art ever seen in a Sonic comic.

1/18: Mega Man X4 - Glad I finally actually beat this after never even beating any of the Mavericks as a kid! I can see why it’s a lot of peoples’ favorites. The gameplay has very little of that X series bloat and is just fun, especially after getting X’s armor upgrades. (But the story really is a long series of missed opportunities.)

February

2/2: Donks - Felix Colgrave continues to be an exceptional artist. The sound design on this is fantastic and really sells this short as something unique. Had to go back and watch his older stuff again after this.

2/4: Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward (3.0 - 3.3 MSQ) - I get it now. I get why people say this is just a proper mainline Final Fantasy game built into the framework of an MMO. That shit ruled. Not even walking back the drama in Ul’Dah from the end of ARR can sour me on it because the main storyline was so strong.

2/8: Disneyland's Forgotten Sci-Fi Rock Band - Live From the Space Stage - A nice and honest tribute to a group of artists who could have easily been forgotten. In hindsight this feels like a precursor to Kevin’s Disney Channel jingle video, a tribute to the unsung artists pouring their hearts into “lesser” art for a megacorporation, art that was designed to be transient but sticks with people nonetheless.

2/9: Metroid Prime Remastered* - Not gonna finish because I just played through the Wii version in 2021, but still. Very, very pretty remaster.

2/16: Theatrhythm Final Bar Line - It’s more Theatrhythm. What more could I want

2/17: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean (anime) - Probably the best part of the anime so far (assuming they continue on to SBR). A near perfect mix of the more structured plot of part 5 with the goofiness of parts 3 and 4 that crescendos into a fantastic, bombastic, emotional, bittersweet ending. The use of footage from the original opening and the new ending set to Roundabout in the finale were perfect, and made me intensely nostalgic for the early days of my JoJo fandom between seasons 1 and 2 of the anime.

2/22: Aggretsuko Season 5 - I don’t really know what to make of this one. Once you get past the agonizing initial arc all about Haida where Retsuko has to be his overbearing mommy GF who flips out and starts spying on him when she’s left on read and chides him when he misbehaves, it feels like an improvement over the previous seasons. But I don’t know how much of that is due to the extremely low bar set by season 4. And then the ending is extremely rushed and anticlimactic. They got legally married and the only acknowledgement was a shot of them signing the paperwork in a montage partway through the final episode?????????

2/24: Double Fine PsychOdyssey - God, what a journey the making of this game was. I already loved 2 Player’s past efforts at documenting Double Fine’s process, but this takes it to a whole new level. This feels culturally significant. The depth and honesty with which they depict not just the nitty gritty of making a game, but also the inherent struggles of working on a collaborative creative work for years at a time, is astounding. Not to mention that they were there to capture the shift from office life to remote work as COVID hit. So much of this would have been nightmarishly stressful to watch if I didn’t already know how successful the game was, but that’s just because they really didn’t sugarcoat it. And yet even after all that, it leaves me feeling optimistic about video games as an art form in a way that the constant headlines about cynical live service games don’t. There are still people out there pouring their hearts into making real art, and this is their story. Everyone who plays video games should watch this.

2/25: Cracker Island (Gorillaz) - New Gorillaz albums feel like less of an event these days, but after Humanz it feels like they’re just more chill with the project and their ambitions with it. Every couple years we get some more laid back jams from Damon along with some fun new collabs. Hard to complain. Favorite track: New Gold

2/25: Pool Kids (Pool Kids) - I discovered this band because Derek knows them and was excited when they got a song added to Fortnite through the Bandcamp collab. Always down to find more cool indie rock bands I can vibe with. The mix of dreamy vocals and energetic riffs on some of the tracks here almost fill the Crying-shaped hole in my heart. Almost… Favorite track: Conscious Uncoupling

2/25: Insane in the Rain (insaneintherainmusic) - I thought it was really funny timing when Carlos announced that his first original project would be a jazz fusion album inspired by acts like T-Square and Casiopea right as I was getting into those two specific bands. The final product does not disappoint. Favorite track: Insane in the Rain

2/26: Get Up Sequences Part Two (The Go! Team) - I’ve never been one to believe that a band’s sound has to remain exactly the same forever, but it really does hit you hard that the first two tracks here sound like classic The Go! Team. Their more recent cleaner sound is still here too, though, for a nice mix of old and new. Favorite track: Divebomb

2/28: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury (Season 1) - Oh my god. Oh my god. I got distracted around the time I was finishing SLARPG, but finally catching up now, wow. My assumption that the seemingly lighter tone of the series compared to the prologue was there to lull us into a false sense of security before twisting the knife when war finally breaks out was spot on. This is peak Gundam.

March

3/4: Pizza Tower - One of the best platformers I’ve played in a long time. It transcends its blatant Wario Land inspirations with the sheer speed at which Peppino can move and the way things like the level design, his wall running, and even the hidden ability to do a second lap around the level reward getting into a flow state where you’re just constantly moving. This is the type of game that wants to turn you into a speedrunner. My only real complaint is a few iffy enemy designs that I wish would get patched.

3/6: Bloons TD 6 * - I bought this before bed one night on a nostalgic whim and then the next morning woke up and saw the Steam receipt email on my phone in one of the most “what did I do last night” moments of my life. I like when the monkeys pop the balloons.

3/7: The Book of Boba Fett - I put off finishing this show for a very long time but finally caved upon the release of The Mandalorian season 3. This show spends four episodes failing to make me give a shit about Boba Fett trying to be “the daimyo” and drive the drug trade off of Tatooine, then just gives up and becomes season 2.5 of Mando, which in turn feels like it undercuts the main series. It fails as both its own story and as a spinoff. I know that finishing this after Andor did it no favors, but WHOOF.

3/12: Obi-Wan Kenobi - Some interesting ideas in the first half hinting at a more introspective show, but it’s mostly swept aside in the back half so it can become a generic Star Wars adventure remixing things from A New Hope and Rebels (and apparently Jedi: Fallen Order). Action scenes have zero stakes because you know nothing can happen to any of the returning characters and none of the new ones are particularly interesting. Why there’s a second climax hinging on a Luke Skywalker death fakeout eludes me. Obi-Wan throwing the rocks at Vader is one of the funniest things in Star Wars history. But it was still better than Book of Boba Fett, I guess.

3/19: The King of Braves GaoGaiGar - Wow, cool robot indeed… GaoGaiGar isn’t going to blow anyone away with its writing, but sometimes you just need a really fun monster of the week mecha show with great action and lovably goofy characters. This is a show where like 20% of every episode consists of recycled transformation, combination, and signature attack sequences and I ate it up every time because they look fucking cool as hell. I don’t care. I’d watch Final Fusion another 49 times.

3/21: The Last of Us (HBO) * - Watched the first two episodes out of curiosity, but I’m not sure if I’ll continue because I don’t give a shit about The Last of Us. It’s definitely a well done adaptation, though, even if I know it’s inevitably going to devolve into miserable torture porn with questionable politics if they adapt Part II faithfully. The ending of episode 2 also lines up perfectly with where I stopped in the game in 2013 lmao

3/27: The Future is a Dead Mall - Decentraland and the Metaverse (Folding Ideas) - Another banger from Dan Olson. This time the premise inherently gives him more time to just show off a bunch of stupid ugly bullshit made by crypto guys, which is fun. My main complaint was that I wished he would’ve brought up Second Life more as a point of comparison (a thing I basically always want out of discussion of “the metaverse”), but he at least did touch on it in the last section.

3/31: The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog - I can’t believe after years of begging for the supporting cast to get more and better material in a Sonic game I got my wish in the form of a freeware murder mystery VN released for April Fools. This kicked ass.

April

4/7: Berserk - Completed Miura’s run and caught up on the chapters that have been released posthumously. It’s hard to say anything that hasn’t been said about Berserk, universally agreed upon as one of the greats of manga and fantasy fiction as a whole. What begins in its first few volumes as a nihilistic and edgy action comic built to facilitate as much sex and gore as possible quickly evolves into something deeply human and vulnerable and beautiful, both figuratively and in terms of its lavish art. The world sucks and is immeasurably cruel, and you will see that cruelty illustrated in graphic, sickening detail repeatedly throughout the series. (Perhaps a little too often throughout the Golden Age, where it feels like Miura never misses an opportunity to threaten Casca with sexual assault mid-battle.) But the point isn’t to wallow in that misery. It’s the story of a victim of horrific abuse learning to slowly open up to others, having those people he cares about torn away from him in the worst night of his life, hardening himself into a cold killing machine, and then slowly learning to open back up again, even if it means leaving himself vulnerable to more hurt. Anyone who says that the series peaked with the eclipse and went downhill in the “Guts’ JRPG Party” era is missing the point. Guts needed to find new people in his life to care about, to begin to find happiness again. Because no matter what unspeakable things Guts has gone through, it’s still possible for him to heal and to be loved. It takes time, but eventually you stop and realize that life has moved on.

4/8: Dedede’s Drum Dash Deluxe - Skipped it upon release because I didn’t particularly care for the minigame in Triple Deluxe, and I didn’t miss much. It’s fine as a little distraction, but not as a standalone rhythm game with only seven songs. If you don’t bother with the hard modes or chase after high scores this game is 15 minutes long. Oh how I yearn for Kirby to get the Theatrhythm treatment.

4/10: The King of Braves: GaoGaiGar FINAL - Eh… It was okay. Lots of cool robot fights, but said fights are stitched together with a mediocre plot that tries too hard to be more “mature” than its unabashedly schlocky kids’ show predecessor. Not crazy about the ending, either, which tries to be a bittersweet farewell closing off the series once and for all while also teasing that maybe there’ll be ANOTHER sequel after the OVA series they literally called “FINAL.” Ah well.

4/11: The Owl House - Sad to see this one go, but it’s hard to imagine them doing a better finale than this, even if they had gotten the six seasons they deserved. I’m not as obsessed with The Owl House as I probably would’ve been had it come out when I was, like, 20, but it’s a really fantastic show for all the reasons people always say. Great characters, great world, great story. I love that this starry-eyed fantasy story about a teenager finding love and a place where she belongs is also set on the rotting corpse of a titan with Hieronymous Bosch-inspired scenery and freaky monsters everywhere. What a great mix. If anything, I just wish I would’ve watched the first season as it aired so I could’ve had more time with it.

4/29: Mega Man Battle Network 3: Blue Version - FINALLY beat this via the new collection, 20 years after playing it as my first Mega Man game. (Technically my first was White, not Blue, but whatever.) There are more annoyances than I remember - lots of really really bad forced backtracking sections where you have to revisit every previous part of the internet, low chip drop rates, some really aggravating bosses like BubbleMan and KingMan, etc. But it’s still a great time overall. It’s Battle Network. In the back half the story gets surprisingly emotional, too. I was always under the assumption that the Hub stuff never came back up much in the story after 1, so I was pleasantly surprised with how relevant it was to the emotional arc of 3.

4/30: Mega Man Battle Network 4: Red Sun * - Yeah I’m not playing through the whole thing lmao. I just wanted to play the first couple hours for nostalgia’s sake, and as a baseline for how much better the rest are. Even before getting deep in the game and having to deal with all the shit gated between doing two new game+ playthroughs, it’s immediately obvious how much of a downgrade this one is. Tons of glaring errors and typos all over the script, blander music, a way more boring aesthetic for the internet, and a premise that mostly just recycles the tournament idea from 3.

May

5/14: The Venture Bros. - Glad I finally sat down and watched all of this with Anthony after having seen one (1) episode as a teenager and a bunch of random clips in the years since. Great show. Some jokes in the early seasons haven’t aged gracefully, but what the show grows into over time... man. Hank and Dean go from being the butt of the joke to being characters you actually sympathize with - while still also being funny little goofballs. And the journey Henchman 21 goes on throughout the show. Man. Amazing that a comedy like this could run for 20 years and maintain its level of quality. Can’t wait for the movie.

5/18: Future Me Hates Me (The Beths) - Okay yeah I’m now just discovering bands through Fortnite lmao. I can’t complain really, they pick some really great indie artists for the in-game radio stations. Anyway: It’s very easy to win me over with a combination of energetic power pop, catchy guitar riffs, and earnest lyrics like this. One of those albums where three or four tracks in I know I have to buy it. Favorite track: Not Running

5/18: Jump Rope Gazers (The Beths) - Ditto. Favorite track: Dying to Believe

5/18: Expert In A Dying Field (The Beths) - Another good album. (I’m listening to these in release order.) I’ve been a bit slower to warm up to this one, initially thinking it was a little too mellow overall, but it might be my favorite after a few listens. Some real high highs. Interestingly, the lead singer’s New Zealand accent is also coming out more in her singing? Favorite track: Your Side (or maybe Head in the Clouds)

5/19: The Super Mario Bros. Movie - As a Mario fan, I think I enjoyed it? As a movie, less so? It was decent, in spite of feeling like they came up with a list of fun action setpieces first and then wrote the absolute bare minimum possible for the story scenes tying it all together. Full thoughts here. (This is the first movie I’ve seen this year, huh? I really don’t watch a lot of movies.)

5/23: Don't Know What You're In Until You're Out (Gladie) - I feel like I don’t like Gladie as much as I should. Their style of noisy indie rock is very much in my wheelhouse, and I do enjoy listening to them, but I dunno. Maybe it’s that the particular style of vocals makes it more monotonous to me. A good album nonetheless, if not 100% my thing. Favorite track: Nothing

5/24: City Slicker (Ginger Root) - Yes I am still making my way through Bandcamp artists I heard on Fortnite don’t @ me. Any excuse to get me to listen to some cool city pop-inspired funk like this is a good excuse. Favorite track: Loretta

5/24: Rikki (Ginger Root) - Favorite track: Why Try

5/25: Spotlight People (Ginger Root) - Favorite track: The Classic

5/29: Succession - A good dramedy series that increasingly focuses more on the drama than the comedy as it progresses, but it’s hard to complain about that since the drama is so compellingly produced. I enjoyed it. That being said, I kind of rankle at the claims that it’s The Greatest TV Show Of All Time. It’s great, don’t get me wrong. Amazing performances all around. But the show LOVES to spin its wheels, to repeat itself, and to let most of its interesting dramatic developments fizzle out before anything really comes of them, almost as if the show is constantly getting bored with its own ideas. To some extent this is intentional - Logan Roy is the untouchable billionaire, his kids fail at everything (but will nonetheless remain billionaires), and in the long run none of them really give a shit about anything other than their own status. But it’s not like things tend to visibly impact anyone else, either, be they supporting characters or the world at large. Even the Big Scary Election, where the Roy siblings are directly responsible for plunging the nation into chaos, ultimately has zero impact on the finale a mere two episodes later. Certain Other Things do have an impact in the last season, though, allowing things to meaningfully change for the cast and for the show to sit with the ensuing drama, which has stopped me from souring on Succession more. There was finally a payoff for something. But it does still kind of feel like a show that goes in circles until it’s ready to call it quits, even if those circles did contain a lot of great acting and music along the way.

5/29: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts - I’d watched the first 12 episodes when they originally released, but I guess the Netflix binge release and the fact that all three “seasons” came out in one year led to me waiting until it finished… and then I just never got around to finishing it. Glad I fixed that! Really fun and stylish cartoon with an art style reminiscent of Teen Titans, a hip hop-filled soundtrack, dynamic fight scenes, and a colorful post-apocalyptic world filled with mutant (mostly anthropomorphic) animals. I’ll admit that at times I do kinda roll my eyes at Kipo’s unshakeable belief that everyone can be friends in a way that I don’t necessarily with similar shows like Steven Universe, and not every joke lands, but I dunno. It’s a kids’ show. That’s to be expected. It doesn’t detract from the overall package for me.

June

6/1: Craig of the Creek (Season 4) - It’s been years and I’m still processing the fact that kids can turn on Cartoon Network and hear Jeff Rosenstock. Anyway! Craig continues to be one of the best cartoons on TV, consistently funny and creative and way more engaging than a show about a bunch of kids LARPing in the woods has any right to be. This season turned into One Piece with the gang effectively hunting down the Poneglyphs in search of a legendary treasure. The kids think it’ll be magic. It isn't. An increasing number of cartoon logic gags aside, this show is firmly set in the real world. Does that make it any less interesting? Hell no. Season 3 turned a game of capture the flag into an all-out five episode war between the heroes and villains, filled with dramatic turnabouts and a climactic guest appearance from Del the Funky Homosapien. I’m sure however they wrap things up in the (sadly shortened) final season, it’ll be great. (Also? I would watch a whole show based on that “what if” episode that jumped forward to everyone’s 20s.)

6/6: Barry - Holy shit, what a show. I ended up binging it in less than a week in a cycle of “okay, just one more episode.” The way this show is able to swing between tones and genres while still feeling like a cohesive whole is truly masterful. It’s a layered character drama, a tragic crime thriller, a farcical comedy, an understated action series, a surrealist morality play, and a scathing satire of Hollywood, all in one. Even within the criminal underworld subplots the show ranges in tone from Breaking Bad to Paddington 2. And it works! While the show naturally gets bleaker over time as it confronts the repercussions of Barry’s murders, it never completely loses sight of its comedic roots. My favorite episode was easily season 2’s “ronny/lily,” a mostly self-contained episode that somehow manages to keep throwing the perfect curveballs to escalate its dark comedy.

6/12: The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition) - Y’all heard of this movie? Pretty good, it turns out. (I’d seen the theatrical cut before, but this was my first time watching the extended edition. I’ve also only seen parts of the other two movies, so it’s time I finally watch all the extended cuts. The Gollum game pushed me to this.)

6/13: The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (Extended Edition) - give it to us RAW and WRIGGLING

6/17: The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Extended Edition) - I’m not crying YOU’RE crying

6/22: Clone High (Season 2) - While the first episode being about “cancel culture” (or, more accurately, a teenager from 2003 being transported to 2023 and putting his foot in his mouth a lot) put a lot of people off, I ended up enjoying the new season of Clone High. The new clones grew on me as the season went on and their roles in the web of teen romance melodrama crystalized, and it made me laugh a lot, and Cleo/Frida is galaxy brained. Also they played one of my favorite Antarctigo Vespucci songs like a minute into the first episode. I don’t think I could really ask for much more.

6/28: The Mandalorian (Season 3) - I'd been watching this weekly but put off the last episode for no real reason. Responses to this season have been all over the place, but my blistering hot take is… it was fine. Is it as good as the first season? Probably not. But Mando no longer needs to carry the whole franchise on its shoulders and set the bar for how good the live action Disney Star Wars shows can be, because Andor exists, and it’s never gonna top Andor. The Mandalorian is free to just be a pulpy space adventure show where Giancarlo Esposito plays a scenery-chewing cartoon villain and a little puppet does wire stunts. These are things Andor cannot and should not do, but that’s Star Wars, baby. It’s delightful. I could watch Grogu get underhand tossed like a sack of flour all day.

July

7/2: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury (Season 2) - LOVE WINS. (More nuanced take from way later: It definitely feels like a lot of the more messy political conflicts in this show got swept aside by the big final battle where some more easily resolved family conflicts take center stage. I’m not sure the ending is the most satisfying. But also this show only got half the episode count that damn near every other Gundam show ever made got, so that might be a factor here. Idk. Still one of my favorite Gundams.)

7/4: Final Fantasy XVI (watched Anthony play) - I had to write my longest Medium article ever about this one because I was so frustrated

7/10: Home Movies - “Things I like that I’ve never seen in full” has certainly been a recurring theme this year. Home Movies remains an all-time classic of animated comedy that went out on a high note before things got stale or the characters became parodies of themselves. While it’s mostly known for its funny improvised banter, throughout the last season you can really see the arc where Brendon no longer enjoys making movies, yet he feels obligated to keep using them to escape from the real world. In that light, the ending where the nature of their dysfunctional makeshift family is cemented, Brendon’s camera suddenly breaks, and life moves on really does feel like the perfect note to end on. Truly one of the best to ever do it.

7/15: The Legend of Zelda - Tears of the Kingdom - Wow. Just… wow. I had serious doubts about TotK in the months leading up to release due to how close Nintendo was playing their cards to their chest. I didn’t want this to be a Saints Row IV, where the game is fun enough but the recycled map makes it feel like a rehash. Instead, I found a game that made me look at BotW’s map in a whole new light, brimming with so many more things to do and people to meet. Add on a better, more versatile set of tools, more varied dungeons and bosses, and a story that I felt was told somewhat better and we’ve got a real contender for my new favorite Zelda game. It was hard to tear myself away, but as this list shows, it’s been basically the only game I’ve played since it came out.

7/16: Sonic Prime (Season 2) - I liked the parts with Shadow and Chaos Sonic, but I’ve come to the sad conclusion that most of this show is just mediocre. More thoughts here.

7/18: We ♥ Katamari Reroll + Royal Reverie - “I’m a dog, but I love Katamari Damacy.” Truer words have never been spoken.

7/19: Transformers: Rise of the Beasts - Pretty good! It didn’t blow me away, but after how bad the Bay movies got I’m just thankful to have a decently cohesive Transformers movie where the human story is okay and I like the bots (although half of them needed more screen time), even if it is just another Hollywood blockbuster about two sides fighting over a macguffin that devolves into a big CGI battle against an army of nameless monsters in the third act. This is basically a mid-tier MCU movie but with Transformers, which won’t do much for most people, but again: the bar was underground.

7/22: The Venture Bros.: Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart - God DAMN. A phenomenal ending for the series. While I would have loved to see a full final season to get some more one-off episodes in there, this doesn’t feel creatively compromised in any way–either due to the time constraints, or due to a desire to make it more marketable as a movie. It really does feel like they just took their outlines for the canceled final season and gently massaged them into the shape of an 84-minute movie, and I mean that in the best possible way. It’s completely on par with the previous seasons. A hilarious and fitting sendoff for one of the greats of adult animation.

7/23: Beautiful Katamari - This was one of my first Xbox 360 games, but a frustrating temperature-based level made me put it down for 16 years. “Maybe it won’t be as bad now that I’ve beaten the first two games and am better at Katamari,” I thought. Nope! Still an absolutely dogshit level. But also, turns out the whole game is only like two hours long lmao. It’s still Katamari, so it’s still fun - the final level in particular, which seamlessly takes you from ground level all the way to space, feels like a logical endpoint for the series - but beyond that it just doesn't have the same soul without Keita Takahashi's input.

August

8/4: Doom Singer (Chris Farren) - I’ve been waiting so long for Chris and Jeff to do another Antarctigo Vespucci album, but god damn. This is the best of Chris’s solo work, and a contender for his best record, period. Every track’s a banger, with more energy than some of his previous solo work but also a good deal of variety. Favorite tracks: First Place, Cosmic Leash

8/4: Transformers Earthspark (Season 1) - This show had a bit of an uneven start, unsure if it wanted to have the emotional maturity of a more serious action cartoon or a preschool cartoon where the characters have little kid mood swings and outbursts and learn basic lessons. It also felt like it was speedrunning its Wholesome Found Family Dynamic with characters who just met, which didn’t feel earned. While these problems never completely go away (see: the cheap and corny way the otherwise very dark season finale suddenly resolves), the show improves quickly, and the positives outweigh the negatives. It’s so great to have a Transformers cartoon that feels fresh, giving us a post-war setting with a bunch of new characters and new dynamics between the Cybertronians and the humans. The returning characters are also uniformly great as the old veterans overseeing the new generation. (Reformed Megatron! Danny Pudi as Bumblebee! Steve Blum returning as Starscream! Keith David as Grimlock!!!) And those super dynamic action scenes! I can nitpick, but Earthspark’s a ton of fun, and easily the best new Transformers cartoon since Prime and Animated.

8/5: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective (remaster) - Everyone who told me this game was a masterpiece was right. I had played the first chapter when it dropped as the demo for the iOS version years ago, but never went further than that until now. What a game. Absolutely incredible through and through. Great story, great twists, great characters, great puzzles, great art direction. Everything comes together so perfectly to form a totally unique, unforgettable package, a top tier video game murder mystery. Everyone should play this, preferably going in as blind as possible.

8/15: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (Season 16) - Wow! Recent seasons of Sunny have been kind of up and down, with some interesting experiments (Mac Finds His Pride, the Ireland arc, etc.) paired with some comedic duds. Most of this latest season is standard fare for the series with fewer big creative swings, but it’s just hit after hit in terms of comedy. Not a single dud, whether we’re seeing Mac and Dennis try to start a rental business for inflatable furniture or watching the gang meet Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul, believing the entire time that the latter is Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle. Even the attempts at topical comedy landed better. Easily the funniest season in years.

8/16: One Piece Film Gold - It’s easy to see why this one has kind of been forgotten in the wake of Stampede and Film Red, which revolve around established fan favorite characters, but this was still pretty fun. Perhaps a little too long, but it’s fun to see the Straw Hats fool around in a giant casino and do a heist. They definitely cranked the fanservice up even more than usual in this one, though, as I probably should have expected for a movie made alongside the anime’s adaptation of Dressrosa.

8/17: One Piece: Stampede - This one goes for a different kind of fanservice. While most One Piece movies are isolated from the ongoing plot and its expanded cast of characters, Stampede instead asks “What if we just put damn near every active character on the same island and had them fight?” The answer: a fun time! It would get old if all of the movies were like this, but after a bunch of movies that are just like “the Straw Hats are gonna land on another new island and fight some more weird guys” it’s fun to see characters like Law and Buggy and Smoker get in on the fun. It’s also nice to get a movie with the Wano era art style, and Usopp surprisingly gets some really good character moments in here.

8/18: One Piece Film Red - This really is the best of the One Piece movies, huh? (Baron Omatsuri is a close second.) It really feels like a change of pace after the last four with the most interesting and emotionally engaging story out of any of them. And even if the events of these movies are never canon, it still feels significant in my understanding of Shanks as a character as we move into the final phase of the manga.

8/21: Pikmin 4 - The opening hour of the game made me really question if they’d changed too much, with all the focus on your new dog unit over your Pikmin and the extremely dull, drawn out dialogue scenes with your new companions back at the base. But once I got into the swing of things I had a blast. This is probably my new favorite Pikmin game. There’s a great mix of activities here to keep things fresh. I also really ended up liking Oatchi’s role as basically your second captain who can also serve as your tank or a rideable mount. The Dandori stuff and nighttime missions in particular show off how useful Oatchi is for your multitasking without necessarily overshadowing the Pikmin.

8/22: Never Get Tired: The Bomb the Music Industry! Story - I literally backed this on Kickstarter eight years ago (my name is in the credits!) and then never got around to watching it for no reason. It’s on YouTube now, and Jeff’s got a new album out next week, so now feels like the perfect time to watch it. And man… what a great documentary. Obviously I’m just a fan of the band, but this also really spoke to me as an artist. Jeff wanting to stick to his principles and give out his music for free and play cheap all ages shows, his discomfort over the idea of selling merch, and the struggles that come with not playing the game like that… It's hard. They readily admit that Jeff is an idealist, that people fight him on this stuff, that he’s missed out on some big opportunities because of these stances, and that he’s had to compromise a bit on some of these things over time. But that incredible climax with their final show, including a full opening performance of the slowly building “Campaign for a Better Next Weekend” and the closing performance of “Future 86” where the whole audience is singing along as the members of the band are hugging and crying… it’s beautiful. This may have been a band where the members had to go back to their shitty day jobs after every tour because they weren’t selling out arenas, but their art meant something to people, and that makes it all worth it.

8/25: Nimona - I haven’t read the original comic (yet), so I can’t compare them too much, but it’s nonetheless pretty apparent that some things were softened and easy kids’ movie jokes were added by the studio to squeeze this graphic novel for teens into a PG animated movie. Regardless, the emotional throughline hits REALLY hard, particularly the very blatant trans allegory and the climax. (It’s no wonder Disney was afraid of this movie seeing the light of day lmao.) The animation is also very squishy and fun to watch throughout. Great movie.

8/26: Puss in Boots: The Last Wish - Spider-Verse really has done so much for animation, huh? This one was as good as everyone said. Beautiful use of stylized color and lighting throughout, and every time this movie very conspicuously shifted to different framerates for a flashy fight scene it owned. Very cute and heartwarming story, too, which thankfully gave its second act plenty of time to explore the cast and let them go on their journey, unlike a certain plumber movie that came out a few months later. Also I would let Death [redacted]

8/28: Holocure: Save the Fans! - This isn't really something I can beat, but I've been addicted to Holocure lately. I don't even watch VTubers aside from maybe seeing a funny Korone animation every now and then, this is just a really, really good freeware Vampire Survivors clone with a huge roster of varied characters to pick from.

8/31: HELLMODE (Jeff Rosenstock) - A new album from Jeff is always a major event for me. If there were any worries that he was starting to go soft at 40 (because one of the three singles off this album was a gentle acoustic piece), the frantic opening of this album put those worries to rest. The first two tracks are Jeff screaming out for help as he’s pulled in a million directions by the chaotic state of the world, a theme that becomes the thesis of the album. I’d say it lags slightly in the middle, but overall this is another extremely well-rounded record full of bangers that’s unapologetically Jeff, with possibly my favorite closing track he’s ever done. Favorite tracks: I WANNA BE WRONG, 3 SUMMERS

September

9/3: One Piece (live action, Season 1) - They did it. I can’t believe it, but they did it. While I have my nitpicks (Usopp and Sanji don’t get enough big moments to shine), this is an extremely solid and faithful adaptation of the first few arcs of One Piece with a great cast. For the most part the changes feel smart and logical, and the big emotional beats of the story are all there and executed very well. I doubted it a little in episodes 2-4, where the Orange Town and Syrup Village arcs saw some major changes to shift the action indoors, and the increased focus on the drama in favor of repeating every gag and battle from the manga 1:1 took a bit of getting used to, but by the end I was having a blast. It’s a different take on One Piece, but it still feels like One Piece. Genuinely very excited for season 2.

9/4: Pseudoregalia - A great little N64-style 3D Metroidvania focused on platforming and very satisfying movement. I always love entries in the genre that are less prescriptive in what order you have to tackle areas in, a la Symphony of the Night or Hollow Knight, and this one’s great in that regard. While there are a number of new moves to find, most of the map is open to you very early in the game, and smart use of your moveset can allow you to “sequence break” without even realizing it. (You would not believe how long I went without getting the wall run.) I do wish it had a map, but that’s already being patched in.

9/6: Bomb Rush Cyberfunk * - Not a bad game at all, but I quickly remembered how bad I am at skating games, so like… eh? Not sure I have much desire to play past chapter 2. Also the soundtrack is sadly kinda hit or miss for me outside of the obvious Naganuma tunes.

9/9: The History of the Minnesota Vikings (Dorktown) - Jon Bois never misses. Even as someone who doesn’t actively follow sports, Jon Bois is a master storyteller, using graphs and statistics and funny anecdotes to explore these deeply human stories. He can convey why people care so much about these teams, these people, and sports in general, and how our popular sports reflect on American culture. He could tell the story of just about any team or player in any sport and I just know I’ll come out the other side a misty-eyed fan. And what a fascinating cast of characters we have this time, with origin stories for everything from the Hail Mary pass to a Minnesota state supreme court judge to the Griddy. Nine hours well spent.

9/10: Timespinner - A fun and highly polished Metroidvania that maybe doesn’t quite have enough of its own identity in its quest to replicate Symphony of the Night…but also, like, this was pitched as a Symphony throwback on KickStarter in a pre-Bloodstained, pre-Hollow Knight world, so I can’t really blame ‘em! Stopping time to avoid boss attacks is fun, the pixel art is gorgeous, and I liked the dark science fantasy story about warring empires and meddling with time a lot more than I thought I would - lore journal text dumps and all.

9/14: The Decay of Sam & Cat (Quinton Reviews) - All the stuff at the end with Matt Bennett (the actor who played Robbie on Victorious and Sam & Cat) in this was really good and sweet. It’s that kind of thing that makes these videos feel like they’re still worthwhile on some level. But the padding and the things Quinton chooses to spend the colossal runtime on does drive me more and more insane with each passing Nick sitcom video. I don’t know how much longer he can keep this schtick up. I hope he’s able to move on to other things before too terribly long instead of continuing to extend this “miniseries.”

9/19: Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales - AKA Insomniac’s Marvel’s Spider-Man 1.5. It’s fun for the same reasons Peter’s first game was fun. I had a good time swinging around New York again in preparation for the sequel, and there’s a lot of cute stuff with Miles becoming Harlem’s neighborhood hero, but WOW did the Underground v. Roxxon conflict fall flat for me.

9/20: I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson - I understand so many posts now.

9/25: Spider-Man (2002) (rewatch) - It’s you who’s out, Gobby! OUT OF YOUR MIND!

9/25: Futurama (Season 8) - I was ready to be a hater, recalling the fact that Futurama has already had three “perfect endings” with the show getting a little weaker with every revival. Then I watched the first new episode on a whim and thought it wasn’t bad, so I was like, eh, sure, I’ll watch the rest. Overall Hulurama is hit or miss. There are chuckles to be had, and it sure as hell beats modern Simpsons, but almost every episode is either a belated take on an overplayed Topical Issue (the pandemic, Amazon, cancel culture, etc.) or a direct sequel to an old episode people liked. Or both! It’s also really noticeable that certain voice actors sound way older - Billy West is struggling with the Fry voice in particular, and it hurts his comedic timing. But just when all hope seemed lost after the nigh-incomprehensible toy-themed anthology episode, possibly the worst episode of the entire series… the last episode, where the Planet Express crew explores whether or not the universe could be a simulation, was really, really solid. Great note to end on to make me not regret my time with this season as a whole.

9/26: Spider-Man 2 (2004) (rewatch) - Once the GOAT, always the GOAT.

9/27: Spider-Man 3 (rewatch) - Revisiting this movie for the first time since I saw it in theaters… it’s not bad. It’s fine! It continues to have the heart and sincerity that make the first two movies work. It’s just not as concise with three villains vying for the spotlight, but I also wouldn’t cut any of them, necessarily. I guess Eddie/Venom would be the easiest, but Peter getting the black suit and giving in to his resentment feels too central to cut. (Yes, even with Emo Peter becoming a meme.)

9/28: Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake - I wasn’t really sure what to expect with this one, especially since I was never really a fan of the genderbend episodes in the original show. (At the time they mostly just felt like an excuse to crank up the teen romance stuff to 11.) But MAN. This was a fantastic coda to the original series. It made me care about Fionna and Cake and their friends as their own characters separate from their original counterparts, it gave the Simon/Betty arc a much more satisfying (if no less bittersweet) resolution than the original finale had time to do, and it even managed to be a multiverse story that didn’t make me roll my eyes in 2023. A+ all around. Makes me wanna rewatch the original show again. [spoiler: I did]

9/29: Meanwhile (aivi & surasshu) - It’s been a whole decade–they were busy with, you know, all the music in Steven Universe, among other things–but we finally have a new aivi & surasshu album! Their chiptune/piano fusion style is familiar, but they’ve definitely grown as composers in subtle ways. Favorite track: Time Travel

October

10/1: This is Financial Advice (Folding Ideas) - A lot of the nitty gritty finance law stuff turned into white noise for me, but still, great video. I had no idea that the GameStop stock craze devolved into this bizarre cult that thinks they’re going to crash the global economy and rise from the ashes as the new kings with the value of their GME stocks. Glad this video exists to try and balance out the narrative.

10/5: Sonic Frontiers: The Final Horizon DLC - Good ideas, absurdly frustrating and tedious execution. Full thoughts here.

10/10: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (rewatch) - I didn’t plan this, but very fitting that I would end up rewatching this on 10/10.

10/12: Half-Life Alyx but the Gnome is Self-Aware (wayneradiotv) - ha he! (Seriously though, that finale was a fucking masterpiece. The RTVS crew has an incredible knack for using the framing device of video game livestreams to blur the lines between comedy and horror, or ironic anti-humor and complete sincerity. I’ve never seen anything else like this.)

10/15: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - Not sure how much I can say that hasn’t already been said. The most visually creative movie I’ve ever seen, grounded by some really excellent storytelling about Miles (and now Gwen) that’s probably better than his actual comics. But it also does feel like it’s about to end and then the movie just keeps going like ten times over lmao. Can’t wait to watch this a second time on a better TV.

10/20: Sonic Superstars - A mostly really solid and fun 2D Sonic game that’s unfortunately dragged down by an extremely hodgepodge soundtrack and some overly drawn out boss fights. I spent HOURS trying to beat the final boss of the bonus scenario (which is required for the true ending in this one) before giving up. Really a shame that that’s the note I’m leaving the game on, because I otherwise enjoyed it, but ah well. More thoughts here.

10/27: Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 - Another good Spider-Man game from Insomniac. Liked the story more than the one in Miles Morales, but maybe not as much as the first game. Extensive thoughts here.

10/28: Venom - Was in the mood for more Venom after the game. As expected this was not a very good movie, but the dynamic between Eddie and Venom made it a fun watch. Tom Hardy is constantly about to shit his pants in this movie. It’s great.

10/28: Venom: Let There Be Carnage - I had a way better time with this one. Is this a good movie? No. But it cranks the insanity of the first movie up to 11. Goofy as fuck in an extremely watchable way.

November

11/5: Pluto - An absolutely masterful series that anyone interested in sci-fi needs to watch. The anime adaptation was great, and I immediately understand why people who’ve read the manga speak so highly of it. Really makes me want to get into Astro Boy more, and also read some of Urasawa’s other works.

11/18: Scott Pilgrim Takes Off - Wow, just wow. When news of a Scott Pilgrim anime broke I was cautiously curious to see if we’d get a more direct adaptation of the comics, and instead it veered off in the exact opposite direction in the best way possible. This is almost entirely a different story, one that’s in conversation with the previous versions (sometimes in very meta ways), and I think it’s really valuable to see O’Malley revisiting these characters with new things to say about them. The major story divergence gives us a chance to examine the characters from a new angle - particularly Ramona, who’s the real protagonist of this version, and the evil exes, who completely steal the show. This was a great reminder of why I fell in love with this series as a teenager. I now genuinely hope we get more Scott Pilgrim.

11/22: Void Rivals (Issues #1 - #6) - The first arc of the new Robert Kirkman series that kicked off Skybound’s new “Energon Universe” is now complete, and I’m left thinking Void Rivals is… okay? I thought the first issue was a decent (if not particularly original) sci-fi comic with an appealing art style, which just so happens to also briefly have a Transformer in it so there can be a Big Surprise. And the series still hasn’t quite shaken that feeling to me. It’s an okay sci-fi series that arbitrarily dedicates a couple of pages of every issue to something from Transformers, but I’m not really sure what the shared universe stuff adds to Void Rivals, or what Void Rivals adds to Transformers and GI Joe. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

11/22: Journey to EPCOT Center: A Symphonic History (Defunctland) - Yeah, gotta be honest, I only got halfway through this one. It seems like Kevin just 1) really wanted to push himself creatively and 2) make a love letter to Epcot, and while I respect that, I think it suffers as a historical documentary. It’s Fantasia but for the creation of Epcot. That might be very impressive on a technical level, but it feels more like a piece of Disney propaganda than prior Defunctland videos due to a lack of context and nuance.

11/24: Aperture Desk Job - A short, sweet, and funny little tech demo for my new Steam Deck set in the Portal universe. More effort was definitely put into this than was strictly necessary.

11/26: ESCHATOS - I am not good at bullet hell games, but I enjoy them from time to time and I really love this one’s FM synth soundtrack, so I picked it up on a whim in the Steam sale. I only beat it on Easy, but still, I had a lot of fun with it! It’s straightforward but very flashy, with the camera dynamically zooming around from set piece to set piece at ridiculous speeds and each level segueing directly into the next. The lack of a powerup system on the main mode in favor of just needing to know when to use your different shot types makes it feel very approachable.

11/27: Lunistice - A great little 3D platformer with a good soundtrack that I had fun hunting down all the secrets in. This is an easy recommendation for fans of games like Kirby or Klonoa - whimsical games set in colorful dream worlds where the underlying story can get a bit more somber. (Although the story in this one is mostly told through mildly cryptic lore dumps, so your mileage there may vary.)

11/28: Spark the Electric Jester 2 - The leap from 2D to 3D here is impressive, but this is very clearly a rough draft for Spark 3. Very, very fun Sonic-style 3D platforming, but the combat is lacking and the storytelling is just kinda bad. More extensive thoughts on this and the above two games here.

December

12/2: Fortnite (Chapter 4) - This was my first full chapter of Fortnite, after having been roped into the game by the siren songs of Zero Build mode and Goku during Chapter 3. This means it’s harder for me to compare this chapter to previous ones, but still, Fortnite remains a genuinely very well made Battle Royale shooter that’s a blast with friends. If I have any complaint about this Chapter, it’s that they would regularly introduce zany ideas and then slowly reel them back in, whether it was the Augment system or the increasingly mundane movement items. It also felt like it was a little too easy to get the perfect loadout in every match, meaning the final showdown would almost always be against players with Slurp Juice and gold shotguns. And I missed the smaller mid-season map updates of Chapter 3. But overall I still had a really good time, and look forward to playing more for the foreseeable future.

12/4: Plagiarism and You(Tube) (HBomberguy) - This will get written off by many as “YouTuber drama,” but this really is an excellent video essay that feels like the kick in the pants that YouTube needs. If video essayists are gonna be a major source of information for so many, then they gotta have standards. I also think it does a good job of highlighting the people that have been plagiarized and trying to drive more attention their way in an attempt to right those wrongs.

12/6: Transformers (Skybound comic) - We only got the first three issues of this in 2023, but I just HAVE to say something about how incredible this series is here. Daniel Warren Johnson is knocking it out of the park. This is the new bar for Transformers. The hand-inked art is extremely dynamic and full of character, and the story is using the familiar beats of G1 Transformers but doing very new things with them. You can tell this from the very first page, but the emotional scene of Optimus accidentally crushing a deer in the forest and realizing how fragile life is on Earth sealed the deal for me. And yet in the very same comics Optimus can do suplexes and clotheslines and lord knows how many other wrestling moves on Decepticons, and it doesn’t feel like tonal whiplash? These comics just fucking rule, and anyone with even the slightest interest in Transformers should be reading them.

12/8: What We Do in the Shadows (Season 5) - [spoilers] WWDITS has very much settled into being a status quo show. Every season has its own little arc where one or two things change to keep things interesting, but then everything returns to normal by the end. Guillermo finally becoming a vampire, only to become a human again in the end, might just be the most egregious example of this yet. But also… the show’s still really funny? And I continue to be happy that Kristen Schaal has stuck around as a series regular as the Guide. So it’s hard to complain. I could see the show running out of steam over the next few seasons, but it’s still hitting for me right now.

12/12: Pony Island - Finally got around to this since the trailer for the sequel dropped. I feel like playing this years later in a post-Inscryption world where Pony Island is a known quantity kind of lessens its impact, but still, it’s a fun and funny puzzle game where you try to hack your way out of a possessed arcade machine. I’m not sure I found it particularly scary, but I’m not sure it’s supposed to be? The way the game messes with you during the Asmodeus “boss fight” was probably the highlight for me. I also like being able to say things like “The part where you have to not kill Jesus was so hard. I kept getting terrible butterfly patterns.”

12/16: Breaking Bad VR but the AI is Self-Aware (wayneradiotv) - As always, Wayne and co.’s commitment to the bit is unrivaled. This kind of got interpreted as just a way to troll HLVRAI fans, but so many moments in this genuinely made me laugh out loud.

12/18: Soul of Sovereignty Prelude - As someone who would list Cucumber Quest as a big creative influence, I was naturally very excited for this first chapter of GGDG’s new visual novel. Their mentality of both scaling things back in terms of labor while also going more shamelessly self-indulgent in terms of storytelling after burning out on making webcomics has really spoken to me, and WOW, the end result of that new process of theirs is shaping up to be something really special. The art and music are sparse but extremely evocative, giving you the rough sketch of the world and letting your mind fill in the rest. The story blends literary high fantasy vibes with the style of fantasy seen in ‘90s JRPGs (you can definitely tell this came from an idea for an RPG), but rather than constantly winking at the audience and making self-aware video game references it plays these storytelling ideas extremely sincerely, giving them real dramatic weight while still indulging in fun tropes to their fullest extent. While it’s a far cry from their most famous work with much more mature content, GGDG always excels at creating characters and worlds that immediately grab me. I can’t wait for the rest.

12/18: Barbie - I’m only… what, five months late for the whole Barbenheimer thing? Perfect timing. Anyway! On the one hand, I get the critiques saying that this movie is just a major corporation funding a self-aware feminist critique of their own product as a marketing ploy. And I kinda agree with that. And the movie is a little too long, and I don’t really know what to think of the way the Barbie/Ken conflict plays out. Anthony asked me to summarize what the story ended up being about, and I had no idea what to even say. But also… I did still like the movie? We don’t get a lot of cartoonish, absurdist, fourth wall breaking comedies like this anymore, and this is a good one of those. Also the whole cast is great, the set design is kind of stunning, and the cinematography is consistently appealing. I wouldn’t say it’s a revolutionary work of feminist filmmaking by any stretch, but it’s a good comedy movie.

12/21: Dr. Stone: New World - Man, Dr. Stone is great. I’ve said this many times, but I just love that this series uses all the trappings of shounen that would normally be used to hype up the protagonist learning a new move to instead hype up things like the protagonist building a loom or a hot air balloon. It’s shounen Bill Nye. I didn’t completely love everything about the Treasure Island arc this season, but it all built towards a really fun climax with a lot of satisfying turnabouts where the heroes use their ingenuity to just barely win.

12/23: The History of Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out World Records (Summoning Salt) - Truly one of my favorite Summoning Salt videos ever, even with how repetitive Punch-Out can get to watch. It’s just so hard to beat “and that runner… was me.”

12/24: Super Mario Bros. Wonder - What more can be said that hasn’t already been said? It’s the best and most creative 2D Mario game since the ‘90s. The only real flaws are that it’s a little easy, the Search Party stages are annoying in singleplayer, and I wish that every boss prior to the final boss wasn’t just some form of Bowser Jr. fight. But those aren’t nearly enough to drag the whole experience down. It was a blast.

12/24: Do a Powerbomb! - Got this from Anthony as a birthday present. This is the previous series by the creative team currently doing the new Transformers comics I was gushing about a few entries ago. Even with the high bar set by those comics, Do a Powerbomb! exceeded my expectations. Holy shit. An absolutely entrancing fantasy wrestling miniseries full of dynamic, energetic action and tons of heart. These comics where a guy wrestles a giant talking orangutan almost made me cry. Twice. An instant favorite.

12/25: Adventure Time (rewatch) - We ended up finishing our rewatch of Adventure Time (the main series, anyway) on my 30th birthday, which feels appropriate. I already kinda knew this, but this rewatch has truly confirmed that Adventure Time is my favorite TV series of all time. The entire show is even better on a full series rewatch. In hindsight, even parts that annoyed me when they aired end up being important parts of the beautiful tapestry that is this series. The many low points of Finn’s adolescent love life are important stepping stones in his growth as a person, which leaves him in an extremely satisfying place by the end. Jake having kids didn’t get to be a huge status quo change because they grew up instantly, but then they did a bunch of fun episodes about Jake’s relationships with his adult children that deepened him as a character. And most of the big lore questions they kept teasing over the years (“Where’d the humans go?” “Who are Finn’s parents?” “When’s Finn gonna get a robot arm?” etc.) ended up getting satisfying and creative answers, because the show left itself the room to figure those things out later. This is a truly special, one-of-a-kind series, one that lasted nearly 300 episodes and yet still seems like it was over too soon. And yes, I did in fact cry during the final montage, like I knew I would. I will always cherish this show with all of my heart.

12/25: Olive the Other Reindeer (rewatch) - Haven’t seen this one since I was a kid! It was a favorite of mine back then, and while it might not be quite as funny as I remember it’s still very cute, with a 2D/3D hybrid art style that remains very unique and appealing. As an adult I can also appreciate the cast they got for this, with like half the cast of Futurama bolstered by guests like Michael Stipe from REM and The Sopranos’ Joe Pantoliano.

12/26: Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio - Anthony and I capped off our Christmas with the most jolly and festive stop motion movie of all! Jokes aside, man, what a beautiful movie. The animation is immaculate, and we really just don’t get children’s animated films like this anymore. Ones that overtly feature real world politics and religion and so many other dark themes in a way that doesn’t talk down to kids or sugarcoat things. This one hits hard. We need more movies like this.

12/31: Oppenheimer - This was an interesting one. Despite being three hours, the way that first hour jumps around in time makes it feel like Oppenheimer is constantly being propelled forward through life at a breakneck pace, swept up by the rising tide of nationalism in spite of his personal left wing politics, never really reflecting on what he’s doing until it’s too late. Then when he’s no longer useful to the empire, he’s chewed up and spat out, only to eventually be honored as a national hero as a symbolic gesture. It’s a compelling story. However, I’m a little torn on how certain aspects of history were framed. Does the abstraction of the bombings detract from the true weight of those events, in favor of sympathizing with the man who built the bomb? Or is it clever a way to show how the realities of the war were compartmentalized away by people who were complicit in its most heinous acts of violence? One minute a bunch of physicists are talking theory, thousands of miles away from the theaters of war, and the next they’ve killed 200,000 people. So which is it? Eh, probably somewhere in the middle, I guess. But I liked it overall.

12/31: Kirby’s Return to Dream Land Deluxe - I’ve been really surprised by how good this rerelease is. It kind of flew under the radar for me. I liked the original game, but at the time it also almost felt like the New Super Mario Bros. of Kirby. It was a straightforward throwback game where you went through a grass world, then a desert world, then a water world, etc., and also they added four player co-op. But returning to this one after the kinda mid Star Allies has made me appreciate just how solid RtDL is as a Kirby game. I really like the updated graphics, too - yes, even the new cel shaded outlines around the characters - even though I didn’t think it looked that great in screenshots. Also the two new copy abilities (Sand and Mecha) are fun, the minigame collection is shockingly fleshed out to the point that they could’ve sold it as a standalone eShop game, the collectible character masks are fun, and the new epilogue mode where you play as Magolor is one of the coolest bonus modes they’ve ever done. This is a top tier Kirby remake any fan of the series should check out.

Ongoing things I followed in 2023 that don't have a blurb:

Halo Infinite multiplayer

IDW Sonic the Hedgehog (main series + specials)

One Piece

Chainsaw Man

My Hero Academia (not caught up)

The JOJOlands (not caught up)

Things I started in 2023 that I still need to finish:

Freedom Planet 2

Hi-Fi Rush

Live A Live

Super Monkey Ball: Banana Mania

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

Picross 3D Round 2

Rhythm Heaven MegaMix

Mega Man Battle Network 5: Team ProtoMan

Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart

Spark the Electric Jester 3

Sonic Dream Team

One Piece (Wano arc, anime)

Jujutsu Kaisen season 2 (I’ve already read the Shibuya arc already in the manga, though)

Astro Boy (2003 anime)

Futurama (original run rewatch)

One Piece (manga reread)

The Amazing Spider-Man (Lee/Ditko era)

Scott Pilgrim series (reread)

And finally... my favorites of 2023!!!

Overall favorite game: The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Favorite indie game: Pseudoregalia

Games remastered in 2023 that are now among my all-time faves: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective, We Love Katamari

Most pleasant surprise in gaming: The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog

Favorite film: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Favorite live action show: Barry

Favorite anime: Pluto

Favorite anime written by a Canadian guy and an American guy based on the Canadian guy's old graphic novel series: Scott PIlgrim Takes Off

Favorite live action adaptation of an anime that I still can't believe they didn't fuck up: One Piece

Favorite Western cartoon: Adventure Time: Fionna & Cake

Favorite older cartoon I only got around to watching in its entirety this year: The Venture Bros.

Favorite documentary: Double Fine PsychOdyssey

Favorite semi-improvised semi-scripted absurdist comedy/horror/tragedy Twitch livestream performance art thing: Half-Life Alyx but the Gnome is Self-Aware finale (wayneradiotv)

Favorite manga: Chainsaw Man

Favorite older manga that I only read this year: Berserk

Favorite Western comic book: Daniel Warren Johnson's Transformers

Favorite album: HELLMODE (Jeff Rosenstock)

And that's a wrap!!!!! Happy new year, everyone! Here's to me maybe actually reading a goddamn book this year

#bobby writes #i don't have a writing tag so i'm making one now to save this and other things

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