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writingforyourpleasure · 3 years

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I have a thing for Car wash

Genre: NonIdol!AU, SummerJob!AU

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Summary: You do car wash as a summer job each year. But this year , 7 new employees are added to the mix.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: none

A/N: Thoses Butter's concept photoshoot are gonna be the death of me ...

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Summer’s Job never been dreamy or appealing you always preferred to stay home and play games or hangout with your friends.

You were doing the same summer job from your high school’s years throughout your UNI years, this year was the last year where you could work at the same gas station you usually spent your summer’s at. You were quite happy about this news because your work there wasn’t really enjoyable to say the least.

You were working as car washer.

The staff was limited to you and Gladys. Gladys was an Australian grandma’ with an heavy accent and a loud voice.

You used to complain about the underpaid job and understaff issue to her each year , but even if she tried her best to pay you more each year, the problem of understaff was remaining.

Plus you had the marvelous advantage , note the irony, to be a woman. So of course you had some guy every now and then asking you for some porn kink including cars and water to you.

And of course as soon as you dared to say to them that it was not respectful of them to ask for such favors , well their ego feeling insecure will make them insult you ‘til Gladys will come out and try to dissolve any trouble. And if they didn’t leave… well then Tallulah will come help you out. Were Gladys was a true perfect cottage core granny , Tallulah her spouse, was a weightlifting Olympics coach. So she was , massive and looked very frightening.

But since she was often occupied most of the time Gladys would have to do the trick , and if too much persistent she would call her little brother Jeff a policeman always coming in and out of the shop to check on things.

It was nice, for a summer or two, but seeing as it’s been years since you were first introduce to this summer’s job to say it became painfully annoying was an understatement.

And this year would be the same…

Or so you though.

Gladys finally took your complains about the car wash job being understaffed and recruited a few people to help out .

When she said a few, you though she was talking about 2 to 3 people.

But no, no non no no no. Gladys took in 7 people !

She promised you your check wouldn’t take any damage by the presence of those new employees , but you sincerely doubt that.

And of course you’ll have to show them around and proceed to show them how to wash a car because of course it’s not like anybody could know how to do it by themselves.

You were moody when that tons of information’s felled down on your head, but now finding yourself in front of the 7 new employees changed everything.

Apparently Gladys misspelled car wash job for model’s photoshoot coz’ those 7 boys were for sure way too beautiful to need a car wash job.

It had to be a prank, right?

So being more self aware in what you’ve been for years you showed carefully those men of to do the job. And no it wasn’t cute or sexy, far from it.

You were dressed in your yellow hoodie and black jogging with flip-flop.

For once you wished you had were those fucking shorts looking like panties more than anything, and a crop top or something similar, like all those freaks watching too much porn often asked you to.

But no , and those guys were dressed in matching outfits in jeans and whites tee.

Even if they were very dreamy swoon over , you had more pressing issues to think about.

Like why one of them started a water fight with another one, and putting a stop to it before one of them put soap into their eyes.

“Okay guys!!! Please stop …? I don’t want to have to report you to Gladys on your first day okay? So keep that behavior for when you’re on your own okay?”

“Sorry , we didn’t meant to …” Said one.

“Huh sorry to interrupt , but none of us seems to have catch your name earlier ?” Said the guy with blue hair.

You liked his hair, it was nice, like blue waves , more darker on the edges and lighter on the center of his scalp. He had such beautiful eyes too, so sharp an-

Oh god , wait did you really lost yourself by admiring him?!

“Huh miss???”

“Y-Yeah !!! Haha my name’s Y/N !” You extended your hand , losing your mind for talking in a higher voice to him , good job at not being suspect Y/N….

And you hated yourself even more for being awkward by presenting your hand to him. But he, on the other hand sensed your discomfort and made your move seem completely normal shaking your hand lightly and giving you a cute smile showing off his dimples.

“Namjoon,…. And those two are Jungkook and Taehyung, and I hate to be the one breaking it to you but we’re probably gonna have a hard time keeping them calm.”

“Oh… Okay” You just ended , looking to the two guys involved in the previous water fight, and looking back to Namjoon’s face. He was calm and put you at ease. Hargh you were staring , good job on not being a freak Y/N .

The one all covered in jean from head to toe approached you, and ever so silently spoke to you.

“Hate to be a bother Y/N, but can I have a bucket to wring out my sponge, please?”

“Huh Yeah of course huh-hu….”

“Yoongi’s the name…”

“Oh huh well yeah let me get that from Gladys to you okay I’ll be back in just a sec Yoongi.”

He nodded very calm much to your dismay as you were starting to feel anxious about advising Gladys for more employees, maybe you should have just shut it.

You entered the store who basked in a sunny light as the morning was starting to begin for most of other people’s in the city.

At the register was one of the new employees, he wore a plaid skirt and converse’s with a white thee and jean shirt. You couldn’t believe how gracious his lips draw themselves on his face. They looked pillowy and as dreamy as the six other’s man out there waiting for you.

“Huh hello ? You might remember me from earlier ? Y/N the foremost employee?”

“Of course I do you’re the sweet mango! “

“I’m sorry what ?”

“The sweet mango ! The color of your sweatshirt look alike a mango!”

“I-I Yeah it does…”

“Would you like another nickname maybe? I’m sorry if this one doesn’t fit your style haha. What about little mouse ?”

“Do I look like a little mouse ?”

“No ,you look like a fucking rat”

Said another voice coming from behind you.

“I beg you pardon?”

You turn over to the masculine voice behind you to find yourself facing a chest. Your eyes flew up to the face of the stranger, ready to take down any bratty client. And you were surprised to face a smiling shit eating brunette man glancing down at you . He was snickering and looking at you like he was mentally undressing you with his eyes.

“Yah ! Jin ! Don’t be rude to our new friend!”

You look down to the content in his arms, some sandwiches squeezed between bottles of water.

“Wait your on job duty ! Why aren’t you with the others ?” You started to take over yourself and focus on your task, keeping everything organized.

“Some of us forgot to bring our lunch to work this morning , so I volunteered to go for it , but you’ve been blocking the line too preoccupied to talk to mister big flirt over there.”

He gestured at the cashier.

“We weren’t flirt-“

“You totally were!” Gladys interrupted you coming out from the back of the shop with several boxes of energy bars .

“Gladys I would ne-“

“Don’t lie to me girl ! Okay Jimin go fill up the shelves with those and Jin , you’re lucky you have a nice face, it’s on the house for today so go back to work will you now?”

“Sure thing Gladys! Thank you so much !” He offered her a wink before smirking down at you , going back to his devices.

“AND SHE DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A RAT! BUT YOU SURE TALK LIKE A BRATT!!!” Shouted Gladys at Jin, while a girl was approaching him to take care of her car and asking for his number. He was a blushing mess and Tae had to intervene to talk an eligible sentence to, the poor lost girl, after that.

“Now, Y/N what do you need sweetheart? I mean other than Jimin’s number of course?” She had said it loud enough for Jimin to hear it and bringing a cute smile on his face content of his accomplishments.

“Gladys please stop. “ You warned her with a tired face. She maybe looked old but she was fearless for sure .

“I need extra buckets for the boys, please.”

She leaved the register for what felt only two seconds before bringing over 5 extra buckets for you , to share.

“Thank you , you’re a life savior!”

“I know , should have started a sect when it was trendy.”

You left laughing to her dumb joke , but not before quickly glancing to Jimin. After that event you formed three distinct groups between all of you to get their heads in the game.

But with Jimin busy with helping out Gladys around the store, one of them was standing by himself.

“Okay since your alone I’ll help out for today.”

“Really? Thank you so much I was worried I’ll found myself alone when everyone’s having fun in groups.”

You looked around to indeed found them more busy playing around then actively work in silence .

“Yeah well normally having so much fun isn’t part of the job but I don’t want to kill the mood.”

“I’m Hoseok by the way but you can call me Hobi ! “ He said with a heart shaped smile.

“Y/N. Haha did you had to see Jimin assigning you a nickname too?”

“No this one’s for my crushes .” He said glancing up at you with stars shining eyes behind the comfort of his sunglasses.

“Yah! Hobi Does it mean I’m one of your freaking crushes?!” Yelled a not-so-speechless Jin , across the parking lot.

“Why don’t you come found out ?!” Yelled back a way too enthusiast Hoseok.

The day went by pretty quietly apart from those 7 agents of chaos you were stuck with from now.

Lunch came around pretty quickly and you all went to the back of the shop to have your break there , enjoying the nice breeze of the fan, while chatting.

“So , how come you’re all working here this summer?” You asked between bites of your meal.

“My aunt knows Gladys and told me she was recruiting , and since I was in need of a job I took it.” Said Jimin looking at you oh so charmingly.

“I have a thing for car wash.” Said Jin like it was completely normal.

“Your such a weirdo something hyung I swear… I was in need of a summer job saw the flyers by the campus and thought why not ? Here I am.”

Replied Jungkook slowly slurping down his noodles.

“We wanted to prove some sexist asshole that , no it wasn’t , a job only reserved to women.” Said a disgusted Namjoon swallowing quickly his part of the sandwich.

“I want to be a social entrepreneur.”

Said Taehyung leaving you with wide eyes.

“How is that related to bein-“

“If I succeed to make this place a rentable place from just the car wash then I could do anything.”

“And how would you do that ?” asked Jin dismissing his lunch to look over at Taehuyng.

“What about a photoshoot?”

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donaidk · 3 years

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Mick Schumacher - Worth the wait

I’m sorry for slacking in the last few days, I had a few things around uni I had to get done before sitting down and writing. But I’m now back with another Mick oneshot that I hope you guys will like 😊 Thank you for the request and wishing a great week for everyone 🥰🧡

Masterlist | Taglist/Queue | Request

Looking through the closet Y/N really didn’t know what she should put on for the day that was comfortable but at the same time would look good. Usually she wouldn’t really care about looks and fashion if she wanted to dress comfy, but knowing how many cameras and photographers will be there during the day, she felt like it was a must this time. All the fans looked at those photos before or after the races, her being one of them as on several occasions those were the only way for her to see Mick other than during their FaceTime calls. However, this time she would be on them too, and even though she promised herself it wouldn’t matter, in the end it wasn’t that easy to get over. She did care about what the fans will think about her, although less than what Mick’s crew members and team members will. That was probably the most nerve wracking part of the weekend. Y/N already met some of them as she attended the first practice session on friday, but staying in the background and not even entering the garage meant she stayed a stranger to them until today.

“ You can take something from mine if you would like. ” She heard from behind him and turning her head towards the voice she could see Mick getting ready just a few meters away from her. “ I have some team stuff too, if you need anything. ” He added, pointing at the suitcase that was still half full with black-red Haas branded shirts and sweaters. Y/N’s anxiety was quite visible on her face, and he knew wearing his shirts sometimes helped calm her down somehow.

“ Maybe. I don’t know… ” Y/N let out a sigh, debating if her wearing his things would bring positive or negative feedback. In the end she just took one of her favourite shirts of his, pushing every thought back as she pulled the material over her head, tucking it into her jeans a little. When she stepped out of the closet Mick was ready too, sitting on the bed and waiting for her. “ Ready! ” She added when he looked up at her and with a nod got up from the bed.

As it was a home GP for Mick they were able to stay in his home rather than a hotel room and start the day from there. It wasn’t a long drive from the apartment to the circuit, giving Y/N just around 20 minutes to prepare herself mentally for the day. Luckily it wasn’t her driving and she could just watch the trees and houses go by as they passed them on the way. She knew everything felt strange because it was just her first time attending a race, and that hopefully if there was going to be a next time, it would be a bit calmer. She didn’t know how people will act towards her, but after getting through the first meetings it will be easier to be around them. It was usually just the first impressions that made her so anxious.

“ They’re going to love you, don’t worry about it. ” They were just turning off the road towards the private parking lot of the circuit when Y/N started bouncing her knee a little bit and Mick could see it from the corner of his eye. “ I would be really surprised if there would be anyone who doesn’t like you by the end of the day. ” He chuckled, looking to his right when the car was parked and with one last squeeze to her hand, they both got out of the vehicle.

‘ Just don’t jinx it. ’ Y/N let out a sigh, taking her backpack out before stepping right next to Mick as she didn’t know where they had to go first. He shared the schedule with her, but it was a bit too much information all together, and she couldn’t really remember everything that was on the papers. Knowing that she will be either next to Mick or someone else from the team during the whole day was enough for her.

Getting to the entrance they both let themselves in with their passes, Y/N needing a bit of help from him initially, and as they were walking down the paddock Mick took her hand in his. Just seconds later she spotted a few photographers turning their way, but somehow she didn’t care about them. She never really cared about being photographed until it was done by official photographers and not just jealous fans or paparazzi on the streets. She wanted her private life out of the media, keeping all her social media pages private and only posting for her friends and family. Y/N did rarely appear on Mick’s posts or stories, but he was observant of her choices and made sure she was always okay with whatever he wanted to put out. This one time she was even looking forward to the photos taken of them, but would never admit it to anyone. She may have even smiled at a few of them when they passed their booth before entering the Haas hospitality.

“ Well, they probably already like you. Not all partners are that happy about them taking photos. ” Mick let her get through the door first, stepping next to her again inside. It wasn’t a huge building, but looking around quickly Y/N knew she would probably manage to get lost alone. “ If you need food or anything it’s there, and if you need quiet you can always just go to my room upstairs. ” He pointed in different directions, showing everything to her as they went to the stairs and up to the second level of the building.

“ I’m probably gonna stay mostly just out of the way. ” Y/N let out a sigh, following him inside the little room and just putting down her backpack on the sofa. “ Am I even allowed into the garage? Or is it just this building and the stands for guests? ” She asked, watching as he was already packing out a few things from his own bag.

“ Of course you’re allowed. Even if you weren’t I would get them to somehow let you in. It’s your choice if you would like to watch it from the garage or a stand seat. ” Mick shrugged a little, looking up at her with a smile on his face. For him it was still hard to believe that she actually came to the race and didn’t run away yet. “ I’m sure you won’t distract anyone. They’re gonna sit you down somewhere and just continue with their jobs. ” He added when Y/N still didn’t look convinced one bit, even though she knew Mick would never lie to her about anything.

“ I’ll probably just go there with you, watch the race itself from the stands, and then go back to the garage after the race. ” She decided a few minutes later when they were already leaving the building as he had to get some interviews out of the way before getting ready for the main event. She already knew his PR people as they did sometimes meet up with him on non race days too. “ Even at home I can’t stay put while you’re racing. I would just drive them round the bend, but you're the only one who should be driving today. ” Y/N let out a laugh at her own joke, seeing as Mick just shook his head.

When they got to the media pen she let go of his hand, letting him do his job and watching him talk to the reporters from the sidelines. She was too far away to hear any of it, but seeing the constant smile on his face showed Y/N that he was enjoying the questions. They could be a bit prying into his private life occasionally, but mostly they just stayed with the sport and only asked about his performance and opinion on the races. She really didn’t know how someone could enjoy people always questioning them, but she knew it was a part of Mick’s career and even if he didn’t want to do it sometimes, he had to. For her it was enough to just watch them and probably would have never chosen to do an interview if it wasn’t a must. She knew the drivers had media training, Mick probably a lot more thanks to his family, but she still couldn’t imagine how it felt doing this almost every week.

“ Less exciting bit of the day done. ” Mick came up behind her, his arms circling her waist as she turned around to take a few pictures of the sunny paddocks. It wasn’t the usual weather for the German GP, and it looked quite mesmerizing with the sun shining onto the circuit for once. “ Hopefully the weather can stay the same for the race. ” He added with a sigh but a grin got on his face when the camera was turned and Y/N took a selfie of them, almost immediately sending it to their two-family group chat.

“ I wouldn’t mind a bit of sunbathing either. ” She nodded, sliding her phone back into her pockets and turned towards Mick to hug him back. They had a bit of time before he had to get back to the team building and get on with the schedule. “ I’ll probably just catch up with your family while you have meetings, and then meet the team during lunch. If you have enough time of course. ” Y/N added, still looking up at him, remembering that his family is attending the race too. They couldn’t come to all of them, but as they were here already, it wasn’t difficult for them to stay a few days longer and watch the race.

“ We will probably. The race starts later anyway. ” Mick nodded, only letting go of her when they had to get going. Even then he held her hand, pulling Y/N closer when it got crowded around them, so he wouldn’t lose her among all the people. “ I’m gonna go and find you afterwards. Have fun. ” They shared a quick kiss as they arrived at the building and went their different ways. Mick inside for his meetings while Y/N tried to not get lost as she got to the part of the paddocks where Mick’s family sat down for a coffee.

Luckily a few minutes later she was already sitting next to Gina with a coffee in front of her, meaning she didn’t take a wrong turn anywhere. Thanks to Y/N studying away from Germany and Mick travelling around the world they don’t always get to talk in person. It was mostly just phone calls or FaceTime calls when she was with Mick. She sometimes talked to Gina as they weren’t too far apart in age and had a few interests in common, but not as much with Corinna, even though she felt like a second mother to her. She never thought her boyfriend’s family would become such a big part of her life. Actually, until Mick they never really mattered to her, but Corinna and Gina had such a positive attitude towards their relationship and her from the first second she was introduced to them, that they felt like a second family. If Mick’s friends were just a bit like his family she had nothing to fear.

“ Oh Corinna, didn’t know you guys are gonna be here. ” Looking to their right they saw Seb coming up to them, and greeting everyone with a quick hug before he turned to Y/N. “ And even bigger surprise. It’s great to see you here finally. ” He said with a grin, stepping back after their embrace so they all could see Lance coming up to them. Probably because of Seb and not them.

“ I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Y/N. ” She didn’t know where the courage came from to be so straight forward but hoped it won’t disappear in the next few minutes. She knew Seb pretty well already, as he was around Mick even on off days, and him being there helped her with opening up to Lance a bit.

“ I’m Lance and no, not yet. Although I’ve heard about you. ” Lance let out a little laugh while Y/N’s eyes went a bit wider than usual. “ Only good things. ” He added with a comforting smile, not wanting to scare her that she’s always a topic between them. She did remember a few occasions when Mick mentioned that he talks with Lance too, and not just Seb, but she never asked about the subject.

As they didn’t have to go anywhere, everyone decided that they would wait until Mick got to them. Since they arrived in the country they didn’t have more than a minute to sit still and talk with him, so they weren’t about to give up such a possibility. Y/N knew that Mick wouldn’t mind either, as he was always happy to catch up with friends, and after just a few minutes she didn’t mind either. Lance turned out to be a sweet person, just as Seb always was towards her and she actually was glad they met, and got to talk a little bit.

“ Are you usually travelling with him? ” Lance asked a bit later when they mentioned the next race and if she feels like attending again with all these new experiences.

“ Mostly just during the summer when uni is off my schedule. I usually just explored the cities while he raced. ” Y/N nodded a little, drinking the last bits of her coffee. “ Looks like I will watch the races instead of acting like a tourist. The timing is lucky, as I was about to run out of places to look at. ” She added with a smile, letting the waitress take away her empty cup.

“ Not many of us can get their partners to travel with them. He’s lucky with you in several ways. ” Lance let out a sigh, making Y/N blush and she was about to speak up when she felt two palms rest onto her shoulder.

“ I for sure am, even if I didn’t hear why. ” The owner of the hands spoke up, and a smile got on Y/N’s voice as she immediately recognized Mick’s voice, looking up at him for a second. “ Looks like you’re gonna meet everyone important on the first day. ” He glanced down at her before pulling a chair next to them so he could sit down too after greeting everyone.

“ I never feared your friends. The team is another different question. ” Y/N shook her head a little, looking at him for a bit too long before getting back to the conversation that got disrupted. They stayed right until lunchtime hit and they had to leave for their separate team building while Corinna and Gina went for a walk before the race.

The team members were intimidating at first as there were many of them and they were all curious about her, asking questions so they could get to know her. Luckily minutes after they sat down with their plates of food, everyone calmed down a little and they could finally find the common voice. In the end the meal was an experience that she could put onto the positive part of the list of the day. In the end she even found a few people to talk to while Mick was getting ready. She did go up to his drivers room a few minutes before they would leave, to have a few words with him before the race. He was already in his racing suit, although it was just halfway done, with the top half hanging down from his waist, and for a second Y/N forgot why she was there actually. Somehow the thin white material looked just as good on him as being shirtless did.

“ You’re off to the stands? ” Mick’s voice got her back from thoughts-land and she nodded as soon as her brain finally understood the question. “ We can meet here after the race if you want. They will let you guys in without any trouble. ” He offered, Y/N again just nodding as she didn’t trust her voice until he stepped back a little.

“ Yeah, that sounds good. ” She finally spoke up when Mick stepped back for one more thing and she felt like she could breathe again. “ Be careful. ” Y/N added, returning the quick kiss he initiated and it was a fight with herself to step back and leave the room. It was her first time she was here to witness moments like these, and Y/N couldn’t understand why she made the wait so long for herself.

From the moment she left the building everything happened as they discussed. She watched Mick race everyone and give his all from the stands, sitting next to Gina. They celebrated together with the crowd when the cars crossed the finish line for the last time and while he got the car back to the garage and parked it, they walked back down there. All three of them let the team congratulate him for a fantastic drive, before they stepped up to him one by one, Y/N closing the line. She didn’t really care as this way she could stay next to Mick from the moment he hugged her and didn’t have to step away until he went to change into normal clothing. In the end, even though they planned a private dinner, Y/N felt so secure with his team that they joined them in the hotel restaurant and celebrated the race together with everyone else working next to Mick and his teammate. However Y/N imagined this day would turn out, it exceeded all her expectations.

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havethetimeofyourstyles · 4 years

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in which harry asks you for a favor and you get so much more out of it.

hi loves! here is my fic for @majorharry 20k fic challenge called ‘Do You Love Me?’

thank you to my lovely beta readers @fromyourstrulyh @bopbopstyles @stellarboystyles & @detroitkiwis love y’all!

enjoy 8.6k of friends to lovers bestfriend!harry with tiny angst and some smut!

prompt: “Should—Should we kiss?” & “Do You Love Me?”

please please leave feedback! a reblog and/or comment means so so much to writers!

・・・・

The sound of a hard knock was what startled you from your sleep.

You hadn’t heard it the first time, thinking you were just dreaming of someone knocking as you were peacefully sleeping. But the sounds were getting more aggressive as the minutes were going by, and you groaned hoping the person on the other side of the door would just leave. But they didn’t. You groaned as you sat up in bed, still half asleep as your hair was a mess. The time on your phone that kept lighting up from receiving text messages read 6:17 a.m, and all you thought was that the person trying to contact you and pounding on your door better have a good reason to wake you up at this ungodly hour.

Barefoot, you walked towards the door, truly not giving a shit of what you look like at the moment as you prepare to tell the person to leave you the fuck alone.

But the person behind the door was the one and only. The person you were closest to in life that was standing on your doorstep with a cup of coffee and a bag of, what you hope is, food. The man who is the earliest of the birds, and will wake you up at times when you should be sleeping for reasons unknown.

“Harry? Are you serious right now?” The first words that come out of your mouth from hours of sleeping are annoyed and gravely.

“Well aren’t you just a delight in the morning,” he chuckled, slipping by you to get into your house. You groaned, not prepared physically or mentally for a conversation when the sun had just risen not too long ago.

He walked over to your kitchen table, setting the coffee and bag on top of it, and you could already smell the bacon that’s in your favorite breakfast sandwich from a small hole-in-the-wall place around the corner.

That place held a special place in your heart--in yours and in Harry’s because it was the place you first met him.

It was during the summer almost three years ago when you first moved to the city. You were getting to know the place and looked for great places to eat. After a search around the city and many Yelp reviews, you decided on ‘Cindy’s Food.’ You didn’t know how you ended up there, but since you had just moved, you were tight on money and your feet ached from the many steps you took in search for some food.

Cindy’s Food was a self seating kind of restaurant with lovely staff and amazing food. It was an overall diner, and some people wouldn’t look twice at this place, but you were glad that you did because you wouldn’t have met Harry.

You decided to take a seat in the middle of the restaurant without knowing what it would lead you to. As you ordered, you scanned the place and thought how comforting it was sitting there; not really paying attention to the people who sat as well. And the food arriving at your table took you out of your thoughts, impressed with how fast the service was.

As you took a bite, you realized that your order was wrong. It was good, by all means, but not what you ordered. And you hated confrontation, especially when it came to the service industry, being a server as well once in your life.

“Not good?” The man from the table beside you said, and your brows raised as you realized he was talking to you.

“It’s good. Just not what I ordered,” you said as kindly as possible, not wanting to sound like one of those people who make a fuss about everything.

“Are you going to tell them to change it?” You shook your head. “Why not?”

“Just don’t want to start anything. And it’s good anyways, so I’ll eat it. That gives me the chance to try the rest on their very large menu,” you chuckled, making him smile.

“I’m Harry,” he beamed from his seat as you noticed the dimples on his face. And not realizing how important he’ll become later in your life.

As the weeks went on, you had gone back to Cindy’s Food and your eyes had perked up when you saw Harry sitting there in the same exact table when you had first met him. He waved you over and asked you if you’d like to join him, to which you accepted.

“Are you gonna get the meal you originally ordered the last time you were here?” He asked, making you laugh.

“Yeah, think I’m gonna get that.”

And the rest was history.

After many meetups at the diner, Harry had finally had the courage to ask for your number when you two had parted ways. He immediately texted you when he got home, and asked if you’d like to hang out another time. And you said yes every time.

It was a friendship that had come unexpected, but you were glad for it. Moving to a new place was scary for you as you worried of not making any friends, but the first day after you completely settled and moved everything in, you had met Harry.

And it became your thing--to bring each other your favorite meals from the diner; it was just something you two did.

“May I ask what you’re doing here when you know this is my time to sleep?” You crossed your arms.

“Yeah, I know, I know. But I risked facing a grumpy sleepyhead in the morning to visit you,” he took out the food from the bag. “But I come with gifts so you can’t be all that mad at me.”

You shrugged, “Luckily, you did bring gifts or I would have let you in.” Harry fakes gasps, dramatically pretending to be hurt.

“Is that any way to treat your best friend? The one who brings you food every three days?” He crossed his arms as well, matching your position. The action made the corners of your mouth turn up, knowing he loves teasing you.

“Alright, alright. Thank you for the food. And remind me to get you a spare key since you lost yours...again.” You grabbed your sandwich, unwrapping it before taking a bite. The hot food was divine to your taste buds once you took a bite; fulfilling your hunger.

“I didn’t lose it. Just misplaced it.”

“Misplaced it for 4 months?” You raised your brows as you took another bite. Harry’s pauses, lips turning up.

“Okay, just get me a new one so I don’t have to deal with you asking me what the fuck I’m doing here and interrupting your sleep,” he said before taking a sip of his black iced coffee.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I need a favor…”

“Oh, this is gonna be good.” You put your sandwich down on the wrapper and lean forward.

Harry was nervous. Knowing he can tell you anything and everything, he felt a bit anxious. You were waiting patiently for him, knowing him all too well that he likes to take his time when it comes to speaking.

And when Harry saw the look on your face, patiently waiting for him to say something with bright eyes, giving him all the attention, he stumbled.

“I, uh…”

“You know you can talk to me about anything right?” Your tone changed into a concerned one, wondering why Harry seemed so anxious.

Harry nodded his head, “Yeah. Just a bit nervous.” You said a soft ‘okay,’ giving him time to collect his thoughts.

After a minute of Harry being in his head and figuring out how he can ask you nicely without sounding weird.

“Whatever you have to say is not gonna sound weird, y’know,” you said as if you were in his mind.

“So, I’m going back to my hometown and I was wondering if you would like to come with me?” He asked nervously, scratching his temple; a habit he does when he gets nervous. You gave him a look as if it were telling him there was nothing to be nervous about asking that question.

“Harry, of course! I would love to see Anne again. Miss her to pieces,” you smiled, continuing back to your sandwich, taking big bites.

“She misses you too. But I was wondering if you’d like to go as my girlfriend?” Your chewing stopped as you looked at him with wide eyes.

It was the one moment where you were speechless; always loved chatting ever since you were younger and nothing could shut you up. Up until now.

“Your girlfriend?” You said after you swallowed your bite. He nodded, hoping you wouldn’t take it the wrong way. “Are you...asking me to be your girlfriend?” You asked softly, but your heart was pounding loudly. The word girlfriend and Harry in the same sentence made your heart flutter as you wished so badly that the meaning and person behind the word ‘girlfriend’ meant you.

“Well…fake girlfriend that is.”

“Your fake girlfriend…” you repeated, still in shock and somewhat speechless because there was a tiny bit of hope in you, wanting him to ask you to be his real girlfriend. The idea itself made you anxious because you’d been in love with him ever since the friendship started, and you hated the idea that he had to pretend to be in love with you when you’d be doing the complete opposite.

“It’s stupid, never mind,” Harry brushed off as if it was nothing, going back to his food and coffee.

“Wait, no, no. I’d love to be your fake girlfriend, but can I ask why first?” You needed answers. It wasn’t unusual for Harry to ask for favors, but this was a different kind of favor.

“Mum told me that there was this neighborhood picnic thing going on during the weekend, and this girl I dated from uni-”

“The nagger and clingy one?”

“Yeah, that’s the one. Anyways, I told you we were in a long term relationship, practically all throughout uni. And so she’s going to be there,” he explained.

“So you need me to be your girlfriend to make her jealous?”

“Not necessarily jealous because I’m very much over her, but apparently she’s engaged. And if I tell her I’m not dating anyone at the moment, I just know that she’ll say some shit like we could’ve been together still or something. I don’t know! I just need you there.” Harry’s eyes were filled with plead, wanting his best friend on his side throughout the whole weekend.

Reaching across the table, you placed your hand on his, and looked him in the eyes. “Harry, I’ll be there.” A breath of relief came out of him, putting his head down, happy you agreed.

“Thank you so much. Need you to be there so bad.” You smiled in response.

“You just want me to be your girlfriend,” you teased adding a laugh.

Harry laughed nervously as you continued eating, having no idea how right you were.

・・・・

The ride back to Harry’s hometown was filled with loud tunes along with singing your heart out, and eating way too many snacks.

It was about a three hour card ride, and he had told you that you brought too many crisps and whatnot, but you told him that it was necessary.

There wasn’t a moment of dullness between you two. Always laughing, talking, and singing during the minutes. And when a silence washed over you two for a while, it was a comfortable one as you two sat, never feeling awkward. There were times when Harry would take a peek at you as your eyes were strained out the passenger window; noticing how peaceful you looked when you were simply lost in thought, and when you felt his eyes on you, you would turn your head towards him, he would quickly look away. And you had done the same: you would glance at him as he was focused on the road--admiring his features that you don’t find beauty elsewhere, thinking how insane it was that he needed a fake girlfriend, and that you were the one he picked.

When he pulled into his driveway, you immediately ran out of the car, seeing Anne at the doorstep, beaming brightly.

“Anne!” You jumped into her arms like a little kid.

“Oh, darling! Missed you so much. It’s been ages,” she hugged you tightly. “Don’t go so long without seeing me again.” She placed both hands on the sides of your face before wrapping her arms around you for a warm hug.

“I won’t. I’ll take a trip up here even if Harry doesn’t come along,” you said, and Anne chuckled, agreeing.

“Harry is being forgotten at the moment,” Harry said as he walked up to you and Anne with both bags in his hands.

“Always needing attention. Come here, sweetheart. I missed you just as much.” Anne hugged Harry, making him smile as he was in his mother’s arms.

“You probably missed her more,” he teased.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Anyways, let’s go inside!”

The house was the same as you remembered. Only being in their house a handful of times, it still felt comforting and like home. It wasn’t a large house, just right for their small family and for welcoming guests.

“Think Harry can walk you up to his room. You both are sharing right?” She questioned with her brows raised. Harry had called Anne the day prior and told her the situation happening at the moment. Of course, Anne thought he was a bit crazy for that, but she supported his reasoning, knowing that he knew what was best for himself.

Harry looked at you and you nodded. “Yeah, we're going to share. Thanks, mum. We’ll just put our stuff away.” He led you two up the stairs as he carried both of your bags. It was only a weekend trip, and you packed for a little more than usual as you were indecisive of what you wanted to stun his hometown neighbors with, so you brought all of the options.

“You’re okay with sharing a room?” He asked, wanting to make sure you were alright with it.

“Of course. We share a bed all the time when we have sleepovers,” you told him with a smile. “Besides, I’m your girlfriend now, so it should be fine.”

Harry’s heart pounded a little harder, and you didn’t notice his sudden change of expression as you were shuffling through your belongings. You had no clue that he wanted that statement to be true. He’s dreamed of it since the friendship was 6 months in, realizing you were more than special when you planned a whole day of adventures when he had a bad day prior. It was that moment he knew how much you cared about him, how much it meant to you to see a smile on his face.

And appreciated the fuck out of it.

He was in deep already. But he didn’t have the courage to ask you out yet; afraid of the rejection you might give him that will leave a dent in your friendship. He didn’t want that, and to his knowledge, he was all you had.

“Think Anne knows something’s up?” You suddenly asked, causing Harry to snap out of his thoughts.

“She knows. Told her about it so she doesn’t act surprised we’re acting like a couple.”

“Great idea. So, what should I expect for tomorrow’s picnic?”

“Uh, everyone’s friendly for the most part. The oldies will gossip when they see us together, probably thinking ‘oh, good thing Harry found someone to settle down with,’” he said, giving his best impression of an old person. You chuckled at his goofiness, always loving his jokes even if they’re painfully horrible. It was just the effort that made you smile.

“And what about your ex?”

“Hmm. I’m not sure. I haven’t seen her in years so I don’t know how she is right now. But if she’s still anything like she was when we were together, then she’ll most likely stare you down. Be too possessive over me, probably to give you the message that she was the best girlfriend I’ve had, which is not true by the way.” You nodded, taking everything in and trying to handle the situation in your head if that were to happen.

“Who’s the best significant other you’ve ever had?” You asked, curiously.

“Don’t know yet. Never had the ‘best.’” He looked at you intently as it got quiet. The way he’s looking at you tells you that he wants to tell you something really bad, and you can physically see it in his eyes how much he’s holding back. You almost ask him to tell you, but if he’s controlling himself, there must be a reason why, so you don’t push it.

“I’m sure you’ll find whoever it is.” Your heart slightly sank when you said those words, ignoring the crack of your voice that just caused pain in your chest.

Harry badly wanted it to be you. He wanted to show you off and be proud to call you his. Not like he’s not proud of calling you his best friend, but he longed for more. And you were so close yet so far, physically and mentally. He had no idea what you were thinking.

And you were thinking of wanting to be called his girl, for real. The minor crush you developed on him the first few times you hung out with him blossomed into way more than you expected. But you didn’t know how you’d handle it or if you’d even do anything about it, so you’re trying to stay sane and keep your feelings intact.

“Yeah, maybe. Just have to look at what’s right in front of me,” Harry leaned on his dresser, crossing his arms as he looked you in the eye. His stance was incredibly hot, and you wanted to jump his bones from the tension radiating between you two. And you were about to, not being able to think straight nor able to control yourself, but the soft knock on the door and the sound of Anne’s voice brought you right back.

“I have dinner ready. Come down when you’re ready,” she said through the door.

“Will do, mum!” Harry responded back, and you turned your back towards him, bending down as you pretended to search for something in your bag; not able to look him in the eye after your uncontrolled thoughts.

“I’ll, uh…I’ll meet you down there?” You turned your head slightly and looked up, seeing him open the door.

“Yeah, I’ll be down there.” He nodded before shutting the door and leaving you alone.

You leaned back, your bottom hitting the floor as you let out a huff, thinking.

This was going to be a long weekend.

・・・・

The rest of the night was filled with chatting with Anne; catching up on each other’s lives and filling her in on if Harry is really doing okay than he says he is when he was in the restroom.

You always loved having a talk with her, seeming like you could for hours and never have anything to fill the void that is silence. You three shared stories as you drank a glass or two of wine before she called it a night.

“She loves you,” he said after he bid Anne goodnight and watched her walk up the stairs.

“Yeah, I love her too. She’s the best,” you smiled.

“That she is. Always teasing me that we should get together,” he slurred. The words slipped out of his mouth. At this point he blamed the wine, but he only had a glass and a half, and it was definitely something he thought about often.

“Maybe you should listen to her,” you said ever so softly it was only audible to you, that Harry barely heard.

“What was that?”

“Nothing. I’m gonna head up. You comin’?” You got up from your seat, and waited. He followed you up the stairs, trying very hard to look at his steps rather than your ass that was swaying five steps before him. But he may have had a peek at it and loved the view.

You two got ready for bed, taking turns in the restrooms before laying side by side on his childhood bed.

“Goodnight, love,” he said softly as he turned on his side towards you.

“Goodnight, Harry,” you turned on your side, back facing him as you wanted to be the little spoon tonight. You slightly shifted back as Harry moved forward until your bodies were touching. He wrapped his arms around you, his face in your hair as you drifted off to sleep, feeling the most comfort in his arms.

And you could’ve sworn you felt his lips on the back of your neck before you were lulled into the state of unconsciousness, dreaming of the man behind you and wishing there were no more secrets between you two.

・・・・

The sound of Harry’s alarm woke you up as you were laying on the opposite side from when you fell asleep, but this time you were cuddled up to Harry’s back.

Your body was insanely hot due to the body heat of yours and the sleepy person who won’t wake up to turn off his own alarm.

Groaning, you sat up slightly, reaching over him to grab his phone and turned off the god awful sound. You fell back in bed, Harry not waking up or moving in the slightest as you shook his shoulder gently. And he felt it. He heard his alarm as well when it first started ringing, but as he opened his eyes, he felt your body on top of him, turning off the alarm. Harry was going to say something, but he was admiring your side profile in the morning as he looked at you with squinted eyes while your hair was a mess. It was something he wanted to wake up to every morning. And if it was you, he had no reason to complain.

“Wake up,” you groaned. Not budging, you shook harder, thinking how in the world can this man not feel the shaking. “Wake the fuck up, Harry.” Now you were slightly more awake, you sat up, hovering over him a bit. You tapped his face lightly, squishing his cheeks, and grabbing his wrist to wave his hand. “Don’t know why you set an alarm if you’re not going to wake up.”

After a little more shaking, you sighed, laying back down on his back as you looked up at the ceiling. Harry finally groaned and turned on his other side, facing you before cuddling up to you, laying his head on your chest. His arm wraps around your torso pulling you closer, and you chuckled as you put your hands in his hair, scratching his scalp lightly while enjoying the peace and quiet.

A few minutes went by, and you felt a smile against your chest.

“Are you awake?” You tried looking down, but he only snuggled closer.

“Maybe,” he mumbled against your skin. “Don’t stop.” He placed your hands back into his hair and you rolled your eyes.

“How long have you been awake?” You asked, continuing to scratch.

“A while.”

“You’re lucky I always give you a few minutes to spare, but we gotta get ready. C’mon,” you unwrapped his arm from around you and shifted out from your previous position, getting off the bed. Harry groaned from the missing feeling that is your body against his, and it was nice pretending to still sleep and just enjoyed cuddling together.

“Don’t wanna. It’s too early.” His face was smashed into the pillow, and his words came out muffled.

“You were the one who put an alarm at 9. Besides we have to help Anne get everything set up like we promised,” you said, looking through your bag for some clean panties and deciding on what you wanted to wear.

“You’re just a kiss ass to mum,” he teased, and you dramatically gasped.

“I am not! I can’t help but be naturally lovable and wanting to help my favorite member of your family,” you smirked, and Harry perked up from the bed at that.

“Take that back,” he sat up, and you shook your head as you proceeded to look in your bag. “You don’t mean that,” he ripped the blanket off of himself, revealing him in shorts and a bare torso. You tried your very best not to ogle him, but it was harder than expected, so you just took a peek; passing it as a teasing look.

Even though you’ve seen him countless times shirtless, the sight of his body felt different every time. You wanted nothing more than to trace the black ink of his tattoos with your fingertips and run your hands across his body. The thought made the rush of adrenaline running through your veins that made your heart beat ten times faster, and that certainly did not help your feelings for him.

Harry was now standing from the bed, slightly pushing you onto your back on the floor. Your eyes widened at his actions, not knowing what he was planning to do, but you got your answer when he grabbed both of your wrists in one hand to raise them and used his other to tickle your sides.

“Harry!” You screamed along with laughing.

“Take it back!” He continued tickling you.

“Can’t…take it back…when it’s true!” You said between laughs, trying to roll around to get out of his grasp.

“Tell me I’m your favorite!” He smiled.

“Okay, you’re my favorite!” You gave in, and he immediately stopped, letting your arms go. You caught your breath, giggling at how childish he is sometimes, and he had the same smile as you.

Suddenly, a soft knock on the door was brought to yours and Harry’s attention.

“Are you two okay in there? Heard screaming and movement,” Anne said through the door, and you immediately face palmed yourself.

“Yeah, we’re okay, mum. We’ll get ready now,” Harry said back. Once he doesn’t hear a reply back, assuming she left his door, he turns back to you.

“Great, now she probably thinks we were having sex,” you told him, covering your face.

“It’s okay. Nothing wrong with that,” he said softly that you barely heard him, and he quickly changed the subject. You looked at him to see his eyes already gazing back to yours, and as you were going to ask him to repeat himself, he beat you to it. “Anyways, you wanna shower first?” You nodded your head, collecting your stuff and heading over to the bathroom, thinking about the long day ahead of you.

・・・・

It didn’t take long for you and Harry to get ready. The only thing you couldn’t decide on was what to wear. You were standing in front of Harry in a robe and your hair wrapped up in a towel with two options in both your hands.

“I’m sure both will look nice on you,” he gave you a small smile as he was sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for you. You rolled your eyes for what seemed like the millionth because he's not giving you a straight answer.

“Alright, I’m going with this one,” you put the other dress on the bed and took the one you were going to wear with you to the bathroom. Harry waited on you, tapping his hand on his leg before you walked out of the other room. His head immediately lifted up, seeing you in a pretty white floral dress that stopped above your ankles. He noticed you clipped the front pieces of your hair back, and you slipped on some sandals.

“Wow…”

“Do I look okay?” You asked. Although, you didn’t really care about other people’s opinions, you deeply cared about Harry’s; always wanting his side of the story and his thoughts. And you wanted to look nice for him because he is introducing you as his girlfriend, so you didn’t want people talking badly about either of you.

“You look incredible,” he stood up, walking towards you. You blushed, looking at his outfit. He was wearing a pastel yellow button down, a bandana hanging loosely off his neck, and some black skinny jeans along with his Chelsea boots.

“Thank you. You look nice too,” you flashed him his favorite smile that’s delightful to his eye, and his heart swooned. The sweet look in your eyes was enough to tell him that he was falling for you…hard. He had already fallen, but this time, it’s extreme.

“Shall we get going?” You asked. He nodded and followed you downstairs.

・・・・

The walk to the park was just down the street and took about 10 minutes—15, maybe because each of you, Harry, and Anne were lugging around baskets that were filled with food, blankets, and board games.

Throughout the whole walk, you talked to Harry about how you should act. You didn’t want to overdo or underdo it.

“Just act like you’re in love,” he stated simply. And you thought about how easy that would be since you are in love with him. You wouldn’t be acting whatsoever, but you needed the reassurance for the physical limit.

“Okay, easy-” you blurt out, and Harry caught it. He turned to look at you, but you had already changed the subject. “What about physical stuff? Like I need to know the limits,” you said quickly.

“Uh, no limit. Feel free to do whatever. Everyone knows I’m pretty affectionate, so maybe just always…touch me?”

“Noted. I’m excited,” you smiled at him, and he smiled back.

When you got to the park, you were the first ones to arrive. The space being available, you three set up the blankets and towels under the tree on the grass and the food on the picnic table. And within seven minutes, everyone started to arrive.

Many hugs and smiles were present all around as Harry introduced you to everyone. You made sure to latch onto Harry’s arm every time, and gave his childhood neighbors big hugs.

“So lovely to see you! Who’s this one right next to you?” Cathy from across the street asked as she hugged Harry.

“Cathy, this is my beautiful girlfriend.” You and Cathy hug as she gives you a tight squeeze, making you feel welcomed.

“Oh, Harry. I’m so glad you’ve found someone. A gorgeous one too,” she nudged him and winked at you causing you to chuckle.

“Yeah, I’m a lucky one,” he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and smiled down at you, dimples poking out. Inside, Harry felt anxious introducing you to everyone, and you sensed that. Knowing Harry so well, you knew the exact moments when he was feeling nervous, and that’s this moment; and his fingers were picking at the hem of your sleeve, trying to keep himself calm.

A few minutes later, Harry heard a voice he could recognize anywhere. It was loud along with her laugh. And Harry knew it was showtime.

“She’s here,” Harry whispered into your ear. You turned your head and saw the new face that you knew was his ex girlfriend. She had a big smile on her face, dragging her fiancé with her as she met everyone, showing them her new and fancy ring.

“Has she seen you yet?”

“Don’t think so.” Your backs were facing her as you were grabbing some food, plates in hand. And she was about any minute to walk up to Harry and greet him.

“Should—Should we kiss?”

Harry looked at you, taking in the question you had just asked before nodding his head.

It was the very first kiss you were going to share with him, and you two wished it were under different circumstances, but a kiss was a kiss, and you were going to make it special either way.

Harry leaned in as you met him halfway, slightly standing on your toes to reach him. And as your lips touched his, everything else melted. When you wrapped your arm around his neck as he did around your waist, everything vanished. It was like there were no secrets between you two anymore, and you were kissing because you loved each other. There were no fake relationships or fake kisses, just the presence of each other as you two molding your lips together.

It was a sweet kiss. No rush detected and no tongue action either. Just the feeling of each other’s lips pressed together was enough for the two of you to go wild.

It was then when you two realized that you were still around people when you heard a voice call out for Harry’s name. You didn’t let go at first until they called out a second time, and you hesitantly pulled back, seeing Harry’s lips pinker than before and his face flustered. You two looked at each other for a bit, a blush creeping on your face realizing you had just kissed your best friend.

“Harry?” He turned his head to see his ex girlfriend smiling at him.

“Oh, hi.” She reached to hug him, holding on a little longer than you wanted, but you kept your cool. “How are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good. How are you?”

“Good. By the way, this is my girlfriend. Baby, this is Ash. Known her since college,” he introduced you to her. A fake smile was plastered on her face, hugging you as well, and you cringed, wrapping an arm around her. But your heart immediately fluttered when you remembered Harry calling you baby, like it was so natural for him to do so.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you said politely.

“You too. Heard so much about you,” she replied, not looking at you at all, rather than looking at Harry. You chuckled and looked at him, finding it rather humorous that she said that when the ‘relationship’ isn’t even real. Harry’s eyes were on you the whole time, matching your smirk as you two tried to hold your laughs in.

“Anyways, I gotta say hi to everyone else. It was nice meeting you again,” she turned to you, and you smiled. She turned back to Harry, “we should catch up?” Harry only nodded as she walked away. You two watched her walk away, and until she was far enough, you both bursted out in laughter.

“Oh gosh, that was weird,” he said.

“Yeah, a little. Did you see her big fake smile towards me?”

“It’s very obvious, isn’t it?” You nodded your head, catching your breath. Harry puts an arm around your shoulder, and kisses the top of your head. “Don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here,” he smiled down at you, making you look up.

His eyes were bright; sparkling from the sunlight but also gleaming because of his sight on you. You boldly decided to kiss him on the cheek, and his face was warm from his blush.

“I’m always going to be here for you.”

・・・・

The gathering went on smoothly. Although the weather started to get a bit chilly as the day went by; no one minded as they wrapped themselves up in their coats and blankets.

“Harry, I’m gonna walk back to the house to get a coat,” you told him as he was in conversation with one of his old schoolmates.

“I’ll go with ya-”

“No, no. Keep talking. Anne is coming with me to put away a few things.” He nodded and gave you a kiss on the cheek, telling you both to be careful.

You and Anne walked back to her house, arms linked as you two chatted.

“Darling, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Are you in love with my son?” Your breath hitched at that, and Anne felt you physically tense up, thinking that was a bad question to ask. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that-”

“No, it’s okay! But to answer your question: yes, I am,” you told her honestly, not daring to lie to her at all.

“Are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t know…I’m not sure if he feels the same, and I can’t lose him,” you said softly. The mere thought of Harry not in your life anymore broke your heart. You needed him, and even if you’d have to sacrifice your feelings for him, then you wouldn’t tell him.

“Harry may be a lot of things, but he’s not an idiot. That being said, he’s not an idiot to not feel things for you. I know it’s scary to think about him not being in your life, but trust me on this one, yeah?” You slowly nodded, taking in her words. If Anne is telling you he has feelings for you, then she must be right.

Besides, mother knows best.

・・・・

Meanwhile at the park, Harry was grabbing himself a plate of crackers and cheese until someone decided to accompany him.

“Hey,” Ash said as she stood on the opposite side of the picnic table.

“Hi. What’s up?” He responded, continuing to get his favorite cheese.

“Just wanted to talk to you.” Harry nodded, urging her to continue. “So, how did you meet your girlfriend?”

“We met at a little diner. She was new to the city, and it pretty much went from there,” he smiled at the thought of you, and remembering how you two met. He’d do anything to go back and relive that time.

“That’s nice. It’s too bad we didn’t make it, huh?” Harry was caught off guard, not sure if he heard her right.

“I’m sorry?”

“I mean we were together for a while--practically throughout uni and after that. I always thought we were going to get married-”

“You have a fiance…” he looks at her in disbelief, not knowing what to say other than the obvious.

“Well, yeah. But you were my first love,” she walked over to the other side, where he was standing, and Harry slowly backed away from her while looking at her with wide eyes. “And I don’t know who else you dated after me, but I didn’t know you downgraded so much-”

“Excuse me? Don’t think you can talk to me when you’re talking shit about my girl. Can’t believe you would think you would get away with saying that right in front of my face.” Harry was angry--he had a right to be. Girlfriend or best friend, he was always going to have your back. “She’s the most kind and selfless person I’ve ever met, and she’s been nothing but nice to you ever since she met you. Go talk shit somewhere else because if you think your opinions are going to change the way I see her, then you’re absolutely wrong because I’m in love with her.” Harry storms off, his food forgotten as he doesn’t give Ash a chance to speak.

He huffed, brows furrowed as he walked home. He walked at a fast pace, needing to be away from the scene. As he walked, he heard voices ahead of him, and found you and his mum laughing. Quickly, he met you two halfway.

“Oh hi, Harry,” you greeted as you and Anne stopped walking.

“Can you come with me please?”

“Is everything alright, sweetheart?” Anne asked concerningly.

“I just really need to talk to her,” he responded. You and Anne looked at each other, and she gave you a reassuring smile.

“I’m gonna go back,” Anne rubbed his shoulder, knowing that something happened for him to act this way, and proceeded to walk back to the park.

Harry grabbed your hand, and he was lucky that his home was only a few steps away, thankful that he decided to walk fast.

“Harry, what’s wrong?” He doesn’t say anything but leads you to the front door, unlocking it. Even in his frustrated state, he’s still a gentleman as he lets you walk in first. Once inside, you asked again. “Are you okay?”

Walking over to the couch, he grabbed one of the pillows and screamed into it. Your concern for him had raised, not knowing what happened. You sat beside him, rubbing his back as he let out his anger and frustrations into the pillow.

After a few more seconds of screaming and a minute of silence, he finally lifted his head from the pillow, facing you. The look on your face was nothing but worry as your brows were pulled in. He took his thumb to smooth out your forehead, and your brows immediately retracted back to normal from his touch.

“When you were with mum, she came to talk to me,” he stared. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for his words. “It was okay at first, but then…” he proceeded to tell you what Ash had said to him. How shocked he was to hear what was coming out of her mouth. He told you about how he told her off, and to not talk shit about you in front of him.

He was proper angry, and you placed your hand on his cheek, caressing his skin with your thumb.

“Thank you for standing up for me,” you gave him a small smile, and his face relaxed in your hand.

“Of course. It felt so good to say out loud,” he said, and immediately closed his mouth.

“What felt good?”

It was now or never. Harry finally had the chance and opportunity to tell you how he really felt about you. And it may be the end of the friendship, but he’s hoping and wishing you’d reciprocate the feeling.

“That I’m in love with you.”

Your lips part, shocked to finally hear him say the words. The ones that you’ve been dreaming of since forever.

“Harry…”

“I know I shouldn’t have said that, but I needed you to know,” he stood up and began pacing in front of you.

“You love me?” Harry stopped and went back to the couch.

“Yeah, I do. Do you love me?” He asked nervously. He wasn’t prepared for the rejection and the hurt, but when he saw you smile, his fears went away.

You nodded enough to make you feel dizzy, and your head was spinning from happiness. “I love you, Harry. I love you.”

“Wait, what? Really?” You nodded excitedly, smiling so big that your jaw was hurting. “Shut up!” He gasped, and you slapped his shoulder playfully.

“I really do! Have for a while now,” you admitted. Your smile turned into a shy one as you were confessing the love you have for him for years.

“There’s no way that you,” he points at you, “love me,” he points back at himself. You chuckled, grabbing his face in your hands and squeezing his cheeks together.

“Well, I do. Believe it, baby.” Your thumb caressed his cheek, feeling his smooth skin under your finger.

He quickly wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tightly as you felt him smile against your neck. “I can’t believe it. You love me?”

“Yes! I have for a while now,” you kissed his neck. Slightly pulling back, your eyes met his. “Kiss me? For real this time?”

Harry’s smile peeked out, taking your face in his hands and connecting your lips together. The kisses were heated, but they weren’t rushed. The two of you wanted to enjoy the moment alone with no interruptions—finally having one another in each other’s arms.

“Wasn’t…faking it…earlier. The kiss—wasn’t faking it,” he said between kisses. You took the opportunity of his mouth opening to place your tongue into his mouth; tongues touching for the first time. It was like a spark shocked you once it happened, the chemistry between you was strong.

“Take me upstairs,” you whispered.

He slowly got up, not wanting to leave your lips, and he picked you up bridal style and took you to his room. He gently laid you on his bed and hovered over you, meeting your lips again.

“Do you want this?” He asked, breathlessly.

“Yeah, do you?” You looked deeply in his eyes, telling him like you really mean it. “Just want to be close to you. Don’t have to do anything else.”

“Want this so fucking bad,” he reassured you by kissing you.

“Want this off,” you said, lifting his shirt up. He sat on his knees and swiftly took off his shirt, and you were once again, amazed by his body.

“A shirt for a shirt?” He teased.

“No fair. I’m wearing a dress,” you pouted, and he kissed your bottom lip, making you smile.

“Alright, fine.” He got off the bed and started unbuttoning his pants slowly. Your eyes raked down his tatted body, stopping at where his hands were. Harry pulled his jeans down, revealing him in his black underwear that hung low on his hips. You bit your lip in response to seeing him half naked.

“God, you’re so hot,” your voice was low and sultry, and Harry’s dick hardened a little more.

“Thanks, baby. Your turn?” He smirked. You nodded giving him a quick kiss as you two switched positions; you standing up and him laying on the bed.

Back faced to him, you bent down and slowly brought the bottom of your dress up, exposing your legs—and then your panties. Suddenly, your dress wouldn’t lift up and over your waist. Harry watched you stop and try again, still not being able to get your dress off.

You dropped your head, laughing to yourself before you turned around and you gave him a soft smile, embarrassed you stopped the show.

“Everything okay, baby?”

“Uh, yeah. Just a minor inconvenience. Do you mind…unzipping my dress? That was the reason why it wasn’t coming off,” you nervously chuckled. Harry smiled thinking you were the absolute cutest.

“Of course, turn around.” You did, and unzipped your dress, pressing kisses as your skin was more exposed as he unzipped it. “Thank you. That was probably so embarrassing. Tried giving you a sexy show, but failed.”

“Hey, it’s okay. Already love ya as it is. Don’t need to put on a show for me,” he reassures you. You walk closer to him, hugging his head to your chest. His hands raked the back of your thighs, making goosebumps appear on your skin.

“I love you,” you said looking down at him. His smile was so big after you said those words, and you made sure to say them for the rest of time if it meant to see him smile like that.

“I love you more.”

You backed away from him, taking off your dress fully. The beauty of your body was indescribable. He just wanted to press kisses on every inch of your skin and appreciate how lucky he is to have you, and how happy he is that you’re able to trust him to show yourself like this.

Kisses were being felt on your stomach, your sides, and up to your chest. You reached behind you to unhook your bra, exposing your chest to him.

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” was the first words he said when he saw you fully. Without hesitation, he wrapped his mouth around your nipple as the other was being fondled by his hand, and proceeded to switch. You arched your back, silently begging for more of his tongue on your skin and he happily complied as your hands found his long hair.

Your hands push his shoulder back on the bed, and he situated himself to sit against the headboard as you went to straddle his lap.

“I’m too needy to stop, but can we take it slow?” You asked him as you littered kisses to his shoulder.

“Of course. No need to rush anything.”

After a few more kisses to his skin and his lips, you start to rock your hips. Harry’s groans softly while his hands find your ass, guiding you.

“You’re so hard. Think—know you’re big.” You pressed your forehead against his, kissing the tip of his nose.

Harry was already rock hard, but to hear you talk and praise him like that made him painfully harder.

“Hard for you. ‘S all for you, baby. Been hard the moment I saw you walk out with your pretty dress on. You wet, my love?” He said back.

“Mhm. So wet, baby—since the first time you kissed me. I wanted to ride you on the picnic table,” you moaned, hips rocking faster.

“Fuck, who knew you had such a dirty mouth?” His hands scratched your back up and down, lightly.

“Only you. Been waiting to use this mouth on you.” He hadn’t known if you meant vocally or physically, but he was completely okay with either one.

You whimpered as your clothed clit moved against his cock. Both of you were on edge, waiting out the feeling because if dry humping felt this good, you wondered how it must feel when he’s inside you--just a couple of layers away from feeling his bare skin on yours.

“God, yes. C’mon, baby, know you’re close. Take what you need,” he moaned, wanting you to come before he does. You sit up, no longer pressed against his chest, and swivel your hips faster. Eyes pressed shut as your hands fly into your hair. He can see that you’re focusing on getting there as you bite your lip and tilt your head back, so he decides to help. Harry presses his thumb against your clit and circling it as you continue to move against him.

“Fuck, Harry.”

“Almost there?” He asked.

“Mm, yeah. You?” Your body was shifted forward, knees on either side of him as you sat on them. Harry continued rubbing your clit, and you reached before you to stroke him through his underwear.

Moans and praises were the only thing that was heard from the both of you as you two rubbed each other to your orgasms. Your body jolted as his hips bucked up, reaching peak.

“Fuck, yes,” you collapsed onto his chest, catching your breath.

“So fucking good.” His heart was pounding; raking his nails softly against your back. “Never dry fucked anyone before, and didn’t think I was gonna cum that hard,” he chuckled. You lifted your head to kiss his jaw.

“But I’m all wet, baby,” you teased.

“Your mouth…is fucking…filthy,” he kissed you in between his words, causing you to giggle.

“You love it.”

“Hell yeah I do.”

A minute or two of silence was present between you two, embracing and cherishing one another as your bare chests were pressed against each other. You lifted your head up to meet his, smiling before pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Mmm,” he hummed into your lips, and you pulled back.

“Maybe we should change? We’re both sticky in our pants,” you chuckled, and he nodded.

“This was all your doing--riding me like that. Wonder how you’re gonna feel when my cock is inside of you,” he smirked and your jaw dropped, but you got slightly wet again from his words, your thighs clenched together at the mere thought of it.

“And you say my mouth is fucking filthy!”

“I learned it from the best,” he said, and you rolled your eyes. You got off of him and the bed, bending down to get a fresh new pair of panties until you heard him call out for you, “Hey.”

You turned to look at him, a dopey smile plastered on his face as his cheeks were flushed. A sight you fell more in love with.

“I love you, baby.”

His words made your heart swoon, thinking you could get used to hearing that all the time now.

“Say it again,” you said with a blushing smile.

“I love you.” His voice was slow and raspy as he looked you in the eye, telling you he means it everytime.

“Do you?” You asked teasingly.

“So fuckin’ much.”

“I love you too, my love.”

feedback is appreciated here! <3

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forbidding-souda · 3 years

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"hey! can i have ibuki with a female reader realizing she's falling in love with ibuki and is afraid of ruining her friendship with her bc she's never had feelings for a girl before but then ibuki returns her feelings? tysm & i think your writing is improving a lot!"

Hai mod souda here I think that this ask was in the box so long that there's like a 67% chance that I deleted it (OOPS!) but i don't remember??? ever touching it??? Idk a ghost took it but here

-Mod Souda

uh...i’m 95% sure this was my request WAAAAY back before i became a mod!! so now i will write something very self-indulgent kajfdafds

(if for some reason this was someone else’s request then same hat!!!)

anyway! how have you guys been doing over here??? i’m finally a senior in uni and i turn 21 next month YEEHAW! also welcome to all of the new mods :D

♡ mod kaede

You thought Ibuki was pretty with her long hair and her bubbly, almost infectious energy. You sat next to each other in class and rather than listening to Kizakura drone on about something that didn't matter to you anyway, you would stare at her. Sometimes you would catch her staring back and she would grin and throw up a peace sign. Other times you would pass notes to each other, talking about what you were going to do that weekend or things your classmates were doing.

HAHA omg can you hear teruteru snoring? you wrote to her one day and passed the note rather obviously to her. She opened up the small square of paper and giggled quietly, exchanging a small glance with you before she picked up her hot pink mechanical pencil and scribbled back.

You see her black and white nails out of the corner of your vision along with the familiar square of paper. Her response reads:

ibuki is rather bored too...i kinda get it. what are you doing this weekend? :D

The thought of you two being alone and hanging out made you blush. To most people, this would just be friends hanging out but...to be honest, you had a crush on her. It wasn't a secret either, many school nights Chiaki had half-listened to you talk about her while she clicked away at buttons on her Switch. You hold your pencil in your hand, thinking of how to respond. Sweat forms in your palms. Minutes pass before you settle on a five-word response.

not much, what about you?

She writes back quickly. do you wanna go with me to a concert saturday at 6? ibuki has an extra ticket and wants to bring y/n!

You blush again, this time her response makes you slightly more anxious just to be with her. Different scenarios pop into your mind, distracting you from writing the word ‘yes’ and confirming your unofficial date with her. The two of you singing (or rather, screaming) your favorite songs together and look into each others’ eyes while the colored lights in the venue dance around. You think of her leaning in and ki--

The final bell rings.

“Well, that’s all for today. Saionji, don’t forget you’re on cleaning duty. The keys to lock up are on the desk up here.” Kizakura snaps the textbook closed, gathers his things, and leaves. The shuffling of sixteen chairs fills the room promptly after, and you fold the note up, deciding to talk to Ibuki rather than write to her.

“Y/N? Helloooo?” Ibuki asks, popping into your vision. “What’s taking you so long? It’s okay if you can’t make it!” she says to you.

“Y-Yeah, I can go!” you stutter out, your cheeks dusted pink when your eyes meet hers. “Saturday works for me. We can...even get dinner before.”

“Dinner? That’s awesome! I know of all of these restaurants downtown we can go to! Oh, and by the way, Y/N, did you know that although most of your bones are located in your hands and feet, all of them are located in your body!”

You laugh at her as you collect your things and walk out the door with her. Ibuki continues rambling on, and you can’t say you’re not excited for Saturday.

Saturday comes. You’re sitting anxiously in your living room, waiting for her. Ibuki said that your house was closer to the restaurant. You weren’t too sure about this restaurant, but let her choose because she seemed excited about it. Anything to see her smile, after all.

Knock knock. The sound jolts you into an alert state. Ibuki starts knocking out a little tune onto your front door before you open it, greeting her with a smile.

“Y/N! Did you hear me playing a song just for you?” she grins and proudly places her hands on her hips. You excitedly nod, taking note that the little tune was just for you, and continue a conversation with her all the way to the restaurant.

The food is better than expected and the two of you spend the early evening laughing and joking with each other. At one point Ibuki mentions that she had a girlfriend and you mentally take note of that. A brief period of silence follows.

“You...had a girlfriend?” you ask cautiously.

“Yeah, it didn’t really work out.” Ibuki scratches her head a little and looks off to the side dejectedly. “I hope she’s doing okay, though.”

You continue talking throughout your meal and end up in a nearby park. The sun is setting, and you and Ibuki look out over the water on a bench. The subject of her ex-girlfriend comes up in passing and you swear her expression changes to a sorrowful one. Sadness isn’t an emotion you see often on her. The two of you continue talking about relationships and crushes you’ve had before and decide it’s finally time to tell her your feelings. You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself before looking at her. She turns her head to look at you too.

“Um, well, I think-- actually, I know,” you speak your words slowly, the last few tumbling out anxiously. “That I really like you.”

“Oh really?” her eyes have her signature twinkle in them. “Me too! Yahoo! Y/N likes Ibuki!” she cheers and grabs your hand, pumping it up into the sky. The music gets louder as you get closer to the venue and you smile at each other. You know it’s going to be a fun night.

The night goes on, and the sky above you twinkles with the hundreds of stars in your view. Compared to the volume before, the way home is quiet. Both of you are quietly overjoyed and standing at your doorway. Ibuki turns away after you say goodnight, but you stop her.

“Can we...go on another date like this?” you ask, looking into her eyes.

“Of course!” she responds and gives you a quick peck on the cheek.

You lay in bed a short while after, recounting the day’s events. A small smile graces your face as you drift off and dream about your next date with your girlfriend, Ibuki.

#ibuki mioda x reader #danganronpa ibuki mioda #ibuki mioda #x reader

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monaownsmyass · 4 years

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New Perspective

If you have any fic ideas or requests you'd like me to write, you can leave me an ask!

Book: My Two First Loves, Chapter 51

Pairing: Ava Lawrence x MC (Emma Price)

Genre : Fluff

Rating: PG13

Word Count: 4,511

A/N: What would’ve happened if MC went college touring with Ava in Ava’s PoV. A certain couple also makes an appearance and gives Ava some advice 😉

Tag list: @ineedskyecrandall @kamilahsayeet2063 @avalawrencefl @lovekamilahsayeed @thequeenkamilahsayeed @heygmicheelle @djtjsmith14 @jjlover01 @soft-for-drake (lmk if anyone would like to be included or removed in my next fics.)

I stopped outside Emma's house by her driveway and honked. I knew she saw me 'cuz she was sitting on her porch steps but I still did it anyway.

"Get in, loser! We're going college hunting!"

She looked down and shook her head as she made her way to my car but I saw that smile on her lips.

She opened the passenger's side door and got in. She closed it before she looked at me and said, "For the record, that was highly unnecessary."

"For the record, where's the fun in not doing it?"

She rolled her eyes but I knew she was the complete opposite of annoyed.

When I first asked her if she wanted to go college touring with me, I was hesitant. It took me the whole day to decide whether or not I should've sent that message. Eventually, I thought 'Screw it!' and hit the send button. Instant regret flooded me as soon as I did and I left my phone unattended for the next few hours, dreading to see what her reply was.

It normally wouldn't have been such a big deal. She was my best friend after all. However, after that day when Mackenzie asked us to model for her, things became... awkward. It wasn't a bad awkward but we became kinda nervous around each other. I thought back to the day where I figured out that maybe, the girl I was crushing on, my best friend, had a crush on me too.

"I wanna capture the real you," I remember Mack saying vividly. You two have been friends forever! You gotta be able to come up with something!"

"Well, in that case..." Emma glanced at Mack and then at me. Just being under her gaze was enough to make me lose my train of thought. "Ava, come sit on my lap!"

My eyes widened but I caught myself, not wanting to be obvious. I cleared my throat and decided to tease her back. I smirked and placed my hand on my hip.

"Should I give you a lap dance while I'm at it?"

I did not expect the next words to come out of Emma's mouth.

"I mean, if you think it'll look good for the cameras..." she flirted back, speaking low in an enticing voice.

My breath hitched. It's not as if we haven't flirted before, we definitely have. Platonically flirting with each other was something we've always done. But this wasn't it. It felt more than that, it wasn't friendly at all. I could feel the tension between us as she looked me straight in the eye. Her eyes burnt into mine and I could see the want in them.

Any longer and I would've passed out.

I shook myself out of my daze and I sauntered up to her. The show must go on anyway. I wrapped my arms around her neck and painstakingly slowly slid myself down onto her lap, my entire body brushing against hers. The friction between us felt electric on my skin.

I was breathless at the close contact but I managed to ask, "How's this?"

"Great!" Emma squeaked out in a high-pitched voice.

Oh?

Just a few seconds ago she was making come-hither eyes at me and was acting all confident. Now she was a blushing, stuttering mess. This wasn't just two friends playing around, was it? The excitement I felt and the way she squirmed in her seat told me otherwise.

"So feisty, I dig it!" Mackenzie called from behind the camera. I almost totally forgot that Emma's little sister was photographing us. But I wasn't done yet.

My heart was pounding so hard in my chest but I had to know if I made Emma nervous the same way she did me, butterflies in stomach and all that.

I brushed my fingers lightly against the side of her face, stroking her soft skin before placing a gentle kiss. I brushed my lips against her cheek and saw her eyes widen and mouth opened, agape.

I felt her tense under me and hesitantly let her hand rest around my waist.

I could feel the heat radiating off her body and I was sure she could feel the same coming from me.

I leaned in close to her ear, my breath skimming her earlobe and whispered, "Relax." I felt her shudder and saw goosebumps appear on her skin.

Interesting.

"Perfect! I got it!" Mackenzie announced, causing me to spring apart from Emma.

"Oh!" Emma said, flustered. "Good, good."

After that situation, we kinda avoided each other a little. Don't get me wrong, we didn't go out of our way to not talk or see each other, but we didn't make the effort to do reach out either which is very unlike us.

A week later was when I decided to invite her to join me in college touring. I missed her and I knew ignoring whatever that was going on between us wasn't gonna help the situation either. I admit that part of me had asked her to follow me in the hopes that we could finally talk about it. Which explains why I was so nervous went I sent her that text.

To my great relief, she responded with a very enthusiastic, 'I'd love to!' when I checked my phone much later that day.

And here we are now, me in the driver's seat and her in the passenger's of my sedan, blasting music and on the way to some college. I glanced at her to find her already looking at me. Instinctively, she averted her gaze but just as quickly, she looked back at me. I guess she figured there was no point hiding.

"What?" I questioned with a smile, eyes back on the road.

"Nothing," she paused. "I just feel like I haven't seen you in a while."

"We see each other everyday."

"I know, smartass," she responded, laughing. "I mean, I feel like I haven't actually seen you for a while. How are you?"

The statement brought heat to my cheeks and I didn't need to look at her to know her eyes were piercing through my soul, wanting to know if there was truth behind the words that would pass my lips.

"I'm good." And it was true. Now that she was here, I've never felt better.

We made it to the first place on our list, Hartfeld University, which was also the school Emma was aiming for. We looked around together and I noticed that she was particularly interested in a cinematography course that was definitely perfect for her.

As we explore the campus, I could see her eyes light up and I knew she was exactly where she was suppose to be. I was happy for her but I couldn't help but feel a little jealous and insecure about my own future. I was so unsure and uncertain about what I wanted to do it made me anxious.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Emma asked me quietly as we walked through the courtyard.

"Hm?"

"You seem kinda spaced out. What's up?"

"Ugh," I sighed. "It's gonna sound stupid but I just realised how in over my head I am about this whole college thing!"

"It's not stupid, it's normal."

"Maybe, but god, I'm already uncertain about the present, how am I suppose to know what I wanna do in the future?"

Opening up to Emma had always been easy. She was a calming presence and whenever she was around me, I felt at ease.

She slowed down beside me and gazed at me. Once again, I felt nervous. "Uncertain about the present?" My palms sweated up as she spoke her next words. "What do you mean?" she asked even though I knew she knew exactly what I meant.

This was the moment I was waiting for, right? To finally confront my feelings about her and confirm hers. To finally have a talk about us. But I didn't. It was the main reason I asked her to tag along but yet, I wasn't ready. And to be honest, I'm not sure if I ever was gonna be ready.

"It's okay," I said. "If you're done here let's head on to the next uni."

"Okay," she uttered. I could sense the disappointment, as if she wanted me to share more. As if she was hoping I was gonna bring it up.

I ignored it and drove to the next place on out list.

After a few more stops, we finally made it the uni of my top pick; Belvoire University.

We made our way around the campus and looking at all the students there made me feel intimidated but having Emma by my side grounded me. I found myself wondering how on earth I could've ever felt awkward around her over the past week. She was my calm in the storm and I definitely would've been having a panic attack without her.

But then I felt her hand graze against mine as we walked and I suddenly remembered why. As much as she calmed my thoughts, she was also the cause of it to go into overdrive.

My initial instinct was to move away and brush it off as an accident but with everything that had happened between us lately, could it have been intentional? My mind raced. I may not have been ready to talk about it but that didn't mean I couldn’t act on it and test the waters.

Steeling myself, I decided to take the leap of faith. I sucked in a breath and let my hand brush against hers, as light as a feather. I felt her hand stiffen and for a moment, I thought I misread the entire situation and made a mistake. Our friendship has been put through the wringer and I don't think I could take it if anything else happened.

But something did happen. Something that would change our relationship as we knew.

She reached out and held my hand.

This action may seem small but it was the hugest thing to me. We've never held hands before and it felt strangely intimate. Maybe it was because I've never held hands with a girl, let alone a girl I liked, but the contact sent a jolt up my arm and through the rest of my body.

I turned my head to Emma's direction to find a small grin playing on her lips. I glanced down at our intertwined hands. My heart fluttered and I felt myself smiling at the sight.

So this is what it feels like.

We continued to walk down the pathway in comfortable silence, arms swinging slightly by our sides with our hands still in each other's. The soft hand in mine felt nothing like the rough ones I was used to. It was different. A good different. A better different.

Eventually, we came to a point where we decided to part ways to explore on our own since we wanted to check out different things. Emma's hand slipped out of mine and I ached to grab it and never let her go. But I stopped myself and watched her leave my side, waving me a goodbye.

"We'll meet back here when we're done, okay?"

"Okay," I nodded, trying to mask the disappointment and anxiety I felt without her by my side in a foreign place despite finally feeling like I could be myself here.

Gripping the pamphlet in my hand, I strode to one of the buildings but almost immediately realised I had no clue where I was going. I looked around, trying to decide who I should ask for help. I saw a bunch of rowdy frats boys and snobbish sorority girls and made the subconscious decision to steer clear of them.

I peered around more and my eyes landed on two girls sitting by a picnic table by themselves. They were giggling with their arms around each other. They looked like they were in a world of their own even though there were plenty of people around them. Something about them drew me towards them. Before I could think about it, my feet led me to their direction.

"Uh, hi!" I interrupted, announcing my presence to the,. Both heads turned to look at me. "Sorry to intrude, but I was wondering if you could help me?"

"Sure thing! What can we do for ya?" replied one of the girls with a slight country twang.

"Well, I'm touring the university and I think I'm a little lost," I chuckled nervously.

"Oh, babe," the other girl in a pineapple jacket said to me sympathetically.

'Babe?' I thought, feeling myself blush. I knew it was friendly but being called that by someone pretty was bound to have that effect on anyone.

"Forget the touring, if you want to survive Belvoire, you gotta know how things are run here."

That piqued my interest.

"What do you mean?"

Both girls just looked at each other.

"You might want to take a seat for this one."

I did and they explained all the essentials I needed to know. By the time they were done, I was pretty sure I was staring at them in disbelief.

"Oh," was all I could say in response.

"Yeah, Belvoire isn't for the faint of heart," explained the girl with the accent. "I swear the only reason I'm still here is 'cuz of this amazing woman right here." She nudged the girl beside her and smiled.

"You give me too much credit, darling."

They leaned in and kissed each other. When they pulled back, they stared into each other's eyes, smiling softly at the other. They looked so in love. I wondered if I could ever have that. Not only being crazy in love with someone who felt the same way towards me but being comfortable and confident enough to show that love off to the world.

I may have been staring too long and hard at them even though I was lost in my thoughts 'cuz one of them asked, "what's wrong?", breaking my reverie.

"Nothing," I shook my head. "You guys are just cute together."

"Tell us something we don't know," joked the girl in pineapples and I laughed along but then she added, "So who's the girl?"

I froze. "Wh-what?"

"I was once where you are at one point in time. I know that look. And I know that you're dying to talk to someone about it so c'mon, you can tell us."

I sighed. There was no point denying it.

"My best friend," I muttered and hid my face behind my hands. "Who also likes these two other guys."

"Oh, babe," she said again.

"I know. I know, but I can't help it, she just feels... right. Like we were made for each other." I slapped my palm against my forehead at my words. "That sounded pretty cheesy, huh?"

"A little," the other girl giggled. "But trust me, if it's true, it's true." She took her girlfriend's hand and kissed it.

"Okay, cheeseballs, let's get back on topic." Pineapple Girl said but she was grinning. "Do you know if she likes you back?"

I scrunched my brows. "I think so? I mean, I can’t say for sure but I do have a strong feeling she might."

"Here's my advice. Just go for it. Even if ya think you have the slimmest chance, just go ahead and try your luck," said Country Girl. "And that goes for anything in life."

"But we've been friends for years, and I don't want to screw it up if things go south."

"But could you live with yourself if you never tried?" asked Pineapple Girl. "Could you settle for good if you knew you had the chance to make it better? Every stroke a painter does could risk their masterpiece but it's also another step closer to creating something beautiful, so go create something beautiful.

"Okay, Plato, when did you become so philosophical and wise," her girlfriend teased.

"You still have a lot to learn about me, love."

"Looking forward to it."

They continued their flirty banter but their words stuck with me and struck something within me, which made me ponder. Would I risk our friendship for something greater? Could I?

"I may have another problem," I interrupted. "I'm not exactly out. To anyone."

"Not the most progressive place you live in?" asked Country Girl.

I snorted. "You could say that."

"All I have to say is people will surprise ya."

"I'm just scared people will start treating me differently and stop talking to me."

"They aren't worth your time anyway, then. But I grew up in the Midwest and maybe I was lucky, but I definitely didn't have it as bad as I thought I would. I'm not saying you should come out if ya don't want to, but if you're ready, I suggest giving people a chance."

"Hey, worse come to worst, you're leaving for college soon anyway, so it would be the perfect place to start over," Pineapple Girl joked. "Belvoire might be a hellhole at times but our sexuality isn't a grievance here."

Listening to them made me see things in a new light. Maybe I was ready to deal with the feelings between Emma and I. I looked around and saw all the college students minding their own business and realised I had no reason to be intimidated. They didn't bother that I was some high school kid. They just didn't care.

And usually, I'd be extremely cautious about my every action, not wanting to give away the fact that I was not as straight as everyone back home thought. That I was gay, a lesbian. But being here, with Emma, when I was holding her hand, that wariness faded and I felt like I could finally breathe easy again.

Just then, I spotted a familiar figure making her way towards us. Even in a place full of eccentric people with unique personalities like Belvoire, she still shined the brightest. Like a diamond in the rough, a rose among thorns. And I was proud that I got to call her my best friend. My first love.

"Hi!" she greeted me with a smile. "I was wondering where you went."

"Hey, how was touring?" I asked, gesturing her to sit beside me.

"So boring without you." She pouted and grabbed onto my arm. My skin under her palm tingled. "But the people here are definitely... interesting though."

"You can say that again," Country Girl said with a laugh.

"Oh, right," I said, forgetting that we were in company. "Emma, these are-" I paused and turned my attention towards them. "Sorry, I don't think I caught your names."

They laughed and Pineapple Girl introduced her and her girlfriend.

"I'm Zoey and this lovely woman right here, is Bea."

"I'm Ava, by the way."

Emma also gave them a little wave and a smile to be polite.

"Well it's nice to meet you, Ava, Emma." She checked her phone and looked up to address me again. "As much fun as it was talking to you, Bea and I have somewhere we need to be soon."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to take up that much of your time."

"It's fine, babe." At the mention of the pet name, I felt Emma beside me tighten her grip that was on my arm. I raised a brow. Was she jealous? "It was nice talking to you."

Emma and I moved to get up and Emma was a few paces in front of me when Zoey called out to me.

"Ava, hold on just a moment."

I turned to look at her. "Yeah?"

"She likes you too, I can tell."

Bea butted in, teasing. "Zoey would know, right, bestie?"

Zoey rolled her eyes but pulled her girlfriend in closer to her to give her a side hug.

I caught up to Emma and we made our way back to my sedan.

So I wasn't just imagining thing.

It was gonna be sundown soon but I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Emma just yet. It's been hours but I still have yet to do the thing I mainly invited her for. And as if she read my mind, she spoke up.

"Where to next?"

I looked at her, confused. "Um, home?"

"Oh," she said softly.

"Unless," I quickly interjected. "You want to do something else? Before I send you back?"

From the corner of my eye, I saw her bite her lip and give a tiny nod. "I don't want to say good bye to you yet."

My heart did a flip at her words and at the tone of her shy voice.

"Me too," I admitted and saw smile. "Alright, I know exactly where to take you."

I drove us to an open field that was seemingly in the middle of nowhere. I parked alongside a few other cars and Emma glanced around. She took in the sight of the other cars and then noticed the big screen in front of us.

"We're at a drive-in theatre?!" She asked, shouting.

"Yeah, I've been meaning to check this place out ever since I heard about it. And since it's on the way and I know you've always wanted to go to one so I thought why not."

She stared at me, speechless.

"Unless this was a complete mistake and you want to go somewhere else then it's-"

"No! No, nothing like that!" She cut me of as she lunged towards me, wrapping her arms around my neck. "Thank you!"

"Oh!" I returned her hug, resting my arms around her waist while chuckling. "You're welcome."

She squeezed me tighter before pulling back to her side again. I could feel myself blush furiously even minutes later. We talked for a bit before the movie started playing.

It was hard to focus on the film playing on the giant screen in front of us when beside me was the most gorgeous girl I knew. Her hand rested beside mine in between us.

My eyes may have been directed straight ahead but I was hyperaware of the tiny gap separating our fingers. Any closer and it would touch.

Fortunately, I didn't have to wait long to see what would happen next. Emma's pinky brushed against mine and I averted my gaze down towards our hands. That simple gesture was a dare, a taunt. 'Come on, do it'. Ironically, it was also all the encouragement I needed.

I hooked my pinky around hers, waiting for her to pull back but she didn't. Slowly, I placed my hand on top of hers and gently squeezed. She took the next initiative to finally turn her hand so her palm met mine as our fingers interlaced.

I sighed, letting out a shaky breath which caught her attention. Her eyes shot in my direction and that action caused me to do the same to her. Her gaze glanced down at our interlocked hands and immediately back up to my eyes. She stared at me as I stared at her, the movie long forgotten. I could see the flame in her eyes as they bore into mine.

And in that moment, there was nothing in the entire universe I wanted more than to just kiss her.

I found myself leaning forward and maybe it was too dark to tell, but I was certain I saw her do the same.

I stopped myself before moving any further. My brows furrowed even as my eyes searched her pretty brown ones. Was I willing to risk our friendship? What we had was good. I thought back to Zoey's words. It was good. But it could be better. And I sure as hell would rather try than remain wondering what could've been.

"Ava," she drew out just above a whisper.

Maybe I wasn't ready to talk about it, I don't know when I'll ever be. But action speaks louder than words and I wanted to be as loud as possible. I was tired of pretending and hiding and I didn't want to wait any longer.

I held the back of her neck and crashed our lips together. The instant our lips met, I melted into a sigh. If I thought feeling her body pressed against mine was electric, the way her lips felt on mine was explosive.

I was invigorated from the way her lips moved on mine, exhilarated from the way her hands grasped onto my shirt, intoxicated from the way the scent of her perfume fogged my sense. Energy surged through my body and chills ran up my spine.

If this is what kissing was supposed to feel like I never wanted it to end.

Her hands left my shirt to travel down my arms and then to the small of my back. Her touch even through my clothes was making me heady. She bit my lip and that's when I lost it.

"Oh, Em!" I moaned into the kiss, unable to help myself.

The sound seemed to push her further. Never breaking the kiss, she got up from her seat to cross over to mine. She straddled my lap and locked her arms around my neck. My hands gripped her hips in response.

My body burnt as we kept kissing. She was driving me crazy.

"God, Ava," she groaned softly which ignited a fire within me. "You're amazing."

"Mm," I hummed in acknowledgement as my hands trailed to her thighs, giving them a squeeze.

The kiss was slow and intense. It was emotional and personal. I could sense that she was as eager as I was but we kept our pace, taking our time and enjoying the feel of the other against our own until we finally broke apart.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting for that," I panted, my arms encircling her waist to pull her closer into me.

She giggled and gave me a kiss on the forehead. She still had her arms around my neck as she brought my head to her chest and rested hers on top of mine. I could feel her heart beat going a mile a minute. "I have some idea."

She pulled away to look at me.

"What?" I questioned, laughing.

"Earlier I told you I feel like I haven't actually seen you in a while. What I meant to say was that you are absolutely breathtaking and beautiful and awe-inspiring and I can't believe I'm lucky enough to be here with you."

I let out a huge grin at her confession.

"I feel the same way about you," I whispered before pulling her back into another kiss.

As we kissed, the only space that existed was us in my car. The movie playing, the other people, everything outside, it was all distant. It was all in the background. The only thing that mattered then was Emma and I in that moment and with every brush of our lips, we were creating something beautiful.

Together.

(More fics!)

~*~*~

Bonus scene!

“Zo!” I felt my girlfriend nudge me.

“Yeah, babe?” My eyes that were trained on the screen averted to look at her.

“Is that Ava over there?”

“The girl we met earlier?” I squinted in the direction she was pointing at. Despite it being dark, I could still recognise the face and figure shifting in the car parked a few spaces away from ours. “Oh! It is!”

“And she’s with Emma?”

We watched as they leaned in towards each other. After a short while, Ava grabbed the back of Emma’s neck and their lips connected!

“And now they’re kissing?”

I laughed and said, “She wasted no time with that. I’m proud of her.”

“They’re so cute,” Bea said with a smile, looking back to me.

“They are,” I agreed. “But so are we!”

She giggle and nodded. “Of course we are.”

I gave her a peck on the cheek before resting my head on her shoulder and enjoying the rest of the movie.

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ntamain · 3 years

Photo

Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she's gay?

another gay gem from the r/relationship reddit

Update:

Image ID under the cut, please let me know if I did it wrong!

[Image ID: four screenshots of a post from the relationship subreddit by tumblr user nta-main. The title reads “Is my (24F) neighbour (27F) into me or is she just being friendly? How do I know if she’s gay?”

The text reads “Update post is now locked, I cant believe so many people were interested in us!! Thank you again for your support, comments and messages.

Hi all, I can't believe I'm asking for advice from a bunch of strangers on the internet but I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this. Sorry for the incoming essay but I guess I need to give history. I bought my first house in September last year, It was an odd time but everything just fell into place. It's quite a small village and everyone is really friendly so I got to know my neighbours soon after moving in - yes, socially distanced. Then I met my over-the-road neighbour, let's call her Elle. I can't describe it but it's the first time I've ever met someone and been lost for words and my heart was racing and just thought "omg", y'know?? So after I blushed my way through a welcome to the village type convo we only saw each other for a wave and hello for a few days.

To help kinda settle in I had my dog (Bea) with me for the first few weeks. During this time there was a massive increase in dog thefts in a nearby town, not just from gardens but literally wrestled away from people. If I'd have been working (furloughed off and on since March) then I would've taken Bea back to mum's but since I was home with her all day she stayed. So the local police advised to not walk dogs alone but we go out twice a day, a 10k run in the morning and a few miles walk in the evening. So obvs this scares me, but at the same time she is honestly a pain in the arse and gets upset if she doesn't go for a run and needs to be tired out so I'm kind of stuck at this point. Then along comes Elle. She knocked on the door and offered to come with us as she'd seen Bea and me in the evenings and everything kind of spiralled from there. I told her about my morning runs but she didn't really bite so I thought nothing of it. Then a few days later I bumped into her on a run, so she started joining us on those too.

A few months later and we are spending more and more time together everyday. It has now progressed to a run early morning, afternoon coffee, dinner most evenings and then the evening walk. It just seemed to happen without me really noticing. I didn't read into things that much as I don't want to get my hopes up and ruin anything until another neighbour commented about how much time we spend together and how "it's nice to see you young gals getting on" and winked. She actually winked at me. I asked her what she meant but she just laughed and said "you know what I mean". So now I'm looking back on things and wondering if she could like me too?

Here's some reasons why she might like me:

I went running along the same route at the same time for nearly 2 weeks before I happened to run into her a few days after I told her this?

I make her a coffee every afternoon (Elle is WFH) and take it over in her fave mug. She says I make good coffee but I'm pretty sure I saw a fancy coffee machine the first time I went round (it's not there now?).

Elle carried on running and walking with me even after Bea went home. I told her she was going back to mum's and she said well "I'll have to make another excuse to join you" and then we just carried on everyday.

She has tried really hard to bond with Bea. Bea is a very anxious dog and is scared of everyone except me and mum. Elle bought special treats to give her everyday and has been so amazing with her and never tried to force anything. When I asked her she said "it's important to me that she likes me and is comfortable". Bea actually fell asleep between us on the sofa yesterday and It just makes my heart skip a beat guys.

She invited me to the zoom quiz she does with her friends every fortnight or so and they were all like "oh so this is who we've heard so much about "

We realised we had become each other's support bubble. Elle asked if I was meeting anyone else and I said no, she said she was glad she had me all to herself (!!)

We gave each other quite personal xmas presents. Like, it actually made me tear up it meant so much to me. And she bought stuff for Bea!!

Reasons why she might not like me:

All the reasons above, but that she's just doing them because she's a fucking great person and we're friends?

It might sound dumb but idk I need your help guys. She is the just the most incredible person I have ever met and I really really like her but if she isn't gay or doesn't feel the same I don't want to lose her friendship as she has become such a huge part of my life. I genuinely have no experience with these kind of things as I went to quite a strict all girls school, so it's not as if there were any relationships around me as a teen and then I went to a very small uni (8 of us on my course). I guess another reason is that I've struggled with anxiety and depression for the past 10 years, as well as my weight and working on my self confidence, but I can say that right now I am the happiest and healthiest (both mentally and physically) I have ever been. I've only just really become comfortable with the fact that I'm gay and I have never really told anyone in real life, but I don't think people would be too surprised lol. I don't have any close friends as no one stuck around when I was really struggling with my MH a few years ago so I can't discuss this with anyone irl.

So I need your advice : how do I find out if she is gay? And no, I don't have the confidence to just ask!! What if she says no and I ruin everything? She has never mentioned anything about past relationships and I'm pretty tactless so not sure how I could naturally slip it into the convo. Like, "hey tell me have you ever had a girlfriend? Do you want one now?" Lol. And how can I make a move without really making a move so I don't ruin things??

tl;dr : Don't know whether my neighbour is gay and into me or is just really friendly. How can I make a move without ruining our friendship?

Edit: Ok guys, thank you so so much for all your support and encouragement. You've all given me a lot to think about. I think I'm going to casually slip some gay stuff into conversation and see how she reacts. Then bring up the neighbours comment like some of you suggested, seeing as tho the neighbour was heavily implying that we're gay. I'll do it tonight otherwise I'll talk myself out of it again. I will post an update to let you know what happens (eek). If you never hear from me again assume it went badly and I am consoling myself with cake and watching brokeback mountain in floods of tears.

Hi reddit, yes it's me the useless lesbian. First off I want to thank you all for your support, encouragement and advice - and the undeserved awards! I never expected this many of you to take the time to comment and that so many of you were rooting for us.

So I had the plan to drop these gay hints into convo like you guys suggested but honestly it all went out the window. Elle was kinda stressed friday after a shitty work zoom and just needed to vent so it wasnt the right time to start anything. Though I guess I must have been a bit off thanks to spending all day overthinking things on here, as Elle turned up Saturday morning rambling about stressing me out and apologised (!!) for ruining dinner. Obvs I said "what are you talking about you can talk to me about anything", and she said "anything?" and I said "anything" back. And guys the tension was unreal, staring at each other and hoping our lesbian mind reading powers would kick in.

Then there was some loud noise like a car backfiring or something and the moment went. So I went to make coffee and then Elle asked me why I was a bit quiet the night before and I said something about overthinking stuff and she said "what stuff" and idk you guys I wasnt prepared to be put on the spot my casual gay pop culture references were useless in this moment. My mind just went completely blank and I forgot every single thing you guys suggested and my heart was pounding and I just blurted out you know I like you, right?.

...And then she kissed me. Kissed me. We straight up just snogged in the kitchen and it was fucking great. So...you were right. You were all fucking right. She's gay, she likes me and has been trying to drop hints for nearly 5 months. sigh

We were both just too scared to make a move or ruin anything. Turns out she's been burned by straight girls in the past, so she's pretty wary and was hoping I'd straight up say I'm a lesbian so she'd know for sure - maybe the I'm a lesbian wall hanging would've been a good idea after all? Her friends have been helping her drop hints, she showed me the group chat and guys their suggestions ranged from flirting more to just turning up in a trenchcoat and nothing else lol. Also, the winking neighbour has been making comments to her as well, so shout out to her for trying to make this happen too.

So no cake and cry watching brokeback mountain, just 5 months of dating to catch up on. As for worrying about how our current schedule could be more date like during lockdown, you were right it's kinda irrelevant when you've essentially been dating the whole time. Though we never made it to our morning run yesterday, in fact we didn't leave the house at all, ha.

Thank you guys for giving me hope, even if all your suggestions completely disappeared in the moment. Maybe I'll show her the post later and ask if any of the suggestions would have worked.

tl;dr: she's gay, into me and I'm an idiot”

End image ID]

#this is for sure already on tumble #but it's so cute #I had to #mine #r/relationships #tw// ed #edit: I'll add a transcript in a minute just gotta figure out how to make it accessible

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blindedbythedarkness · 3 years

Text

Josh,

Sometimes it's really fucking difficult to not believe that the universe is personally biased against me. And I know that's kind of rich coming from the one of us that didn't get driven to suicide. But I just, I know you of all people would understand. I wish I had you to really talk to right now.

I'm gonna ramble because I just need someone to listen. But where to fucking start? Life right now is just spinning plates. On one day this week I found out a critical hospital referral I was relying on had never been made; I was rejected by yet another landlord for a house next year that I'd really been betting on; my supervisor met with and bullied me for a solid two hours and my one social event of the week got cancelled. So, that's about when it all started to get too much.

The doctor I've been seeing has been incompetent from the start and made so much work for me in the 6 months I've been in her care. Despite diagnosing my Potentially Life Threatening connective tissue disease, she never even named it in our appointments, leaving me to discover the true horrors of my body through playing detective with my blood results. Long story short, to be confident that I can go on a treatment for it without bleeding out, I need to see a geneticist. But despite agreeing that I should see one, she's refusing to refer me to one directly. Instead, she's referring me to a pain rehab clinic at a separate hospital and saying they can internally refer me to genetics. The wait on the pain rehab clinic? At least two years. Plus, of course none of this information was forthcoming and required weeks of emailing back and forth. So now I'm angry, anxious and stressed about my health. I want to make a formal complaint but I don't know when I'll find the time.

That wasn't even the worst thing, though. The worst thing was uni reminding me just one last time that it truly doesn't give a shit about its students and why I hate it to its very core. The final piece of work I have left to hand in is a research project that I've been working on all year. However, my supervisor is an utter cunt, and I don't say that lightly. He's incredibly narcissistic and rude for a start. For a presentation I had to do, he forced me to use his own slides without ever looking at mine. He once ended an online meeting because I misspoke when explaining a figure, telling me to call him back when I knew what I was on about because he "never forgets what he sees and doesn't want his brain soiled with incorrect information." Given he never remembers what we've spoken about from one meeting to the next, I call bullshit. Oh and this week? He asked me to explain a figure to him and when he said he didn't understand I asked him if he was looking at my screen share. He said no. I just despair!

To make matters worse, he's never fucking happy with me. He's made me start my work from scratch 3 times now and had a different problem each time. We're rapidly approaching the deadline now, so to get all the work done for the 3rd time I've been working 9am-5pm 6 days a week. Not that he cares. The results don't fit his hypothesis, so I must simply be incompetent. He even once had the audacity to suggest that I "didn't want to do the work" while looking through a 70 page document of my results, because I couldn't explain the findings of a figure I'd made a month ago off the top of my head.

In this weeks meeting, he again gave me an extortionate list of new tasks to do, while berating me at every turn. With a month left submit my thesis and my write up not started, I tried to explain to him that I wouldn't have time to complete the list. He just shrugged and said, "Well I think you should do it." And yes, this man is aware that I have been struggling physically and mentally recently.

I didn't know what else to do to make him listen, so I contacted the course supervisor (who I'd already briefly made aware of my issues with him). She told me to "quit" and "just get on with writing my thesis"... until four hours later after she had spoken to my supervisor and completely changed her mind. She video called me to tell me to do the work and I just broke down. I don't make a habit of ugly sobbing in front of people I've only ever met twice over Microsoft Teams, but this was a particularly bad day.

"Trying to do this work is going to destroy my physical and mental health."

"I can't do this anymore."

"He never listens to me."

"I've been working 6 days a week and it's killing me."

She didn't care. She told me that since my supervisor is an experienced professional, he must know how much he's asking of me and since he insists it's quick and easy stuff, it must be. This man has never done this analysis himself. He doesn't even know how; half the stuff one of his lab workers taught me and the rest I taught myself.

"Chill out" and "calm down" she told me, "do the work and if you have any problems ask John (the lab worker)"

By the time I pressed the leave button, I could barely breathe, let alone talk. I was just choking and sobbing and had snot pouring down my face. I was just so tired. So stressed. So... ignored. I didn't know where I would find the hours in the day, but I started by cancelling the trip to see my parents this weekend. To them I am not a student, and a student with health problems at that. I am simply a machine to use for free research.

I just wanted the stress to give me a break. I just wanted a break. I was genuinely afraid that my heart was going to stop from the stress alone. I didn't know where else to turn. The counseling service put me on a waiting list. My tutor told me to "just keep trying my best". My mentor told me to talk to my course supervisor. My course supervisor told me to work. A was busy revising for an exam the next day and I didn't want to bother him. So, I turned to my unhealthy coping mechanisms instead.

I didn't mean to do it as badly as I did. I just wanted to scratch my skin enough to feel it burn and give me something else to feel instead of the huge mass in my chest. But the scissors were sharper than I thought and when I looked down there were four long cuts that had gone through the skin and fat. I knew immediately I'd fucked up. There was no way those edges were coming together on their own. Honestly, I was just mad I'd given myself something else to do. So, I covered them with gauze and tape and kept on working. Because I needed to work. I needed to get it done. I would deal with going to the hospital later but I couldn't lose these working hours.

Once the blood was dripping from the gauze I finally, begrudgingly, went to the hospital. Honestly? They were surprisingly nice. They were understanding and they listened. I was so worried that they'd think I was some cringy emo kid looking for attention. I honestly felt like a total knob going there, but I didn't have a choice. I never felt judged or like they thought I was wasting their time or that it was all my fault. Of course, I know that it was my fault and I felt like a fool. But I also don't blame myself for becoming so desperate. At one point a doctor came in with a medical student who was visibly shy and embarrassed when examining me. I told her I had a place at medical school, so not to worry as I'd be in her place soon. And again, I was shocked because they didn't once tell me not to go. I thought they were going to say "if you can't cope right now, starting medical school isn't for you!" But they never said anything like that. Instead they were shocked I'd gotten in to such a good uni and seemed incredibly genuine when they wished me well.

Oh, and the wounds? Thankfully I didn't need stitches so I got them pulled together again with steri-strips. And in case you didn't believe me that I didn't intend them to be so bad, I nearly passed out three times after looking at them. So, I truly am a fucking idiot, Josh. Lesson learnt, I suppose. Though I'm still afraid what will happen next time I run out of options.

It's finally the end of the week now, but the universe still hasn't given me a break. My mum called earlier and told me my rabbit will be crossing the rainbow bridge tomorrow as he seems to have had a stroke. I mean, it's a small mercy that he's an old bunny and he's been unwell for a long time, so it's not a shock. But it's still so sad and I'll miss him so much. What really tops it all off is that I was going to see him this weekend until I had to cancel my trip home due to the workload.

Man, I just. Why does shit stuff seem to come so easily to me? It's difficult not to feel personally victimized when shit news after shit news lines up so well. I wish good things came as thick and fast. I hope to fuck my luck changes soon because honestly I'm terrified that it's taking years off my life.

Thanks for listening, Josh,

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storytime-with-moth · 4 years

Text

Writing the Zukka weighted blanket oneshot

Zuko was draped over Sokka who has spread out on Zuko’s couch, the tv was still playing softly next to them but the hand that was drawing circles into Zuko’s back for the past hour had finally stilled and gone heavy against is back.

Zuko smiled into Sokka’s neck nudging the other awake. Whispering softly into his boyfriends ear.

“Stay here tonight.”

He felt Sokka stiffen ever so lightly beneath him, realizing that was a bit more forward than he had meant Zuko backtracked as he sat up.

“Nothing has to happen, we can just sleep! But it’s late and you had an early shift today and I really don’t want you falling asleep at the wheel and it’s raining - and I got pancake mix…” Zuko trailed off as Sokka sat up grabbing Zuko’s flailing hands with his own.

“Zu, take a breath. Of course I want to have pancakes in the morning with you. Let’s go get comfy.”

With a sigh of relief Zuko walked to his room to make sure everything was tidy and find a t-shirt big enough for his boyfriends broad shoulders.

While Zuko rummaged around for sleep clothes Sokka took a steadying breath and put his hand over his heart lightly pressing against his chest.

Everything is going to be fine, it’s one night. You haven’t had any nightmares or stress dreams in months, you can do one night.

Zuko walked back out of his room to be met by Sokka looking him up and down smiling coyly. He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Zuko scoffed and relaxed more “In your dreams Sokka, you have been up for 17 hours, you need sleep. Plus I don’t want you falling asleep in the middle of making out, that’s a hit to my ego that I don’t need.” he said holding a soft grey t shirt, boxers, and an extra toothbrush towards Sokka.

Sokka laughed tiredly “fair enough buddy.”

“I though we talked about this?”

“What? Oh right! I’m not allowed to call you buddy if I’m making out with you on the regular.”

Sokka winked as he walked into the bathroom.

______________________

Zuko was already settled under a light blanket when Sokka made it out of the washroom dressed and teeth brushed he climbed in next to his partner.

Sokka shuffled around for a minute trying to get comfortable in the new bed, after five minutes of shifting Zuko wiggled close wrapping and arm around Sokka. “Is this okay?”

Sokka tried to keep his voice from wavering in relief “Ya perfect Zu.”

“I warn you I run hot so I’ll probably shift back to my side once I’m asleep, push me off if I make you to warm okay?”

Sokka nodded into his pillow. Like he was going to ever push Zuko let alone give up a human weighted blanket.

Eventually Zukos breathing evened out and Sokka was left awake surrounded by his boyfriends warm embrace trying to calm his anxious mind.

Now Sokka and Zuko had known each other for a while, but it was always as “we’re both friends with Aang and see each other at his house parties and events” sort of thing.

They had only started going out two months ago, when a very nervous Zuko asked Sokka if he wanted to grab a tea sometime, and a very surprised and eager Sokka said yes.

They had clicked right away, but Zuko told Sokka early on that he needed to take this slowly whatever this was going to be.

Sokka sighed heavily.

Zuko had been so brave, on their fourth date he sat down Sokka and set boundaries and laid out triggers, informing Sokka that he was working through his own trauma from his abusive Dad to his toxic Ex. And it was by no means Sokka’s responsibility to fix it but if they were going to date this is how he could support Zuko.

He should have said something then, but that is the case with anxiety. Given the opportunity to talk about you get nervous about being a burden or that you're making it all up or you overshare everything making it all about you. Or at least that’s what ran through Sokka’s mind while Zuko calmly shared how to help during a panic attack.

Sokka numbly nodded along, noting that what Zuko needed during a panic attack was different from his needs. Guess that’s the difference between anxiety and just straight up PTSD.

Then he immediately felt selfish, here he was worrying about his illogical, irrational anxiety when his boyfriend and gone through actual trauma.

So he listened and asked questions, never telling Zuko about the prescription of Xanax beside his bed or why he always went home at the end of the day no matter how late it was, to his own bed with his own weighted blanket that helped keep him asleep. Keeping away even the most subconscious worries.

But now it had been two months, and Zuko was right it was too late to drive home and he was so tired.

If only he was too tired be anxious

Finally after two hours of overthinking, counting sheep and willing sleep to come Sokka was swept up by sleep.

——————————

Zuko slowly started to wake. It wasn’t light out yet. The clock read 4am, what had stirred him from sleep?

It was then that he registered the soft shaking from behind him. Zuko turned over to see Sokka’s face twisted up in despair, his breaths coming in shallow and quick and his whole body jerking every few seconds.

Just before Zuko could reach out to comfort his partner Sokka shot up gasping clothing at his hair and his chest.

A soft whine escaped the crying boy’s mouth, in that moment Zuko was wide awake and gathering up his shaking boyfriend in his arms.

“Shhhhh, it’s okay…. You’re okay” He said softly over and over again while petting Sokka’s hair.

Sokka continue to shake as tears fell on Zuko’s arms.

“Sokka, Babe are you having a panic attack?” Zuko asked a little surprised.

The other boy nodded unable to speak.

“Okay, ummm, you’re in my room, you were staying because it was late, we were watch Lilo and Stitch earlier, uhh can you feel my hands in your hair?

Sokka nodded and tried to stop crying only for his breaths to stutter and stumble as his body heaved another sob from him without his consent.

“Sokka, how can I help?”

When the question finally registered with Sokka’s racing mind he grabbed his boyfriend’s hands and wrapped them tightly around himself in a constrictive hug. Zuko picked up on the nonverbal message and rearranged themselves so Sokka was between his legs with his back to Zuko’s chest and his arms wrapped tightly around him.

He kept a tight grip, continuing to speak to Sokka with soft reassurances that he was safe.

After sometime Sokka’s quick breathing began to slow and his tense body melted into Zuko’s, eventually he laid his head back against his boyfriends chest and quietly looked to the ceiling.

Zuko getting the message that he could loosen up relaxed his grip but kept himself loosely wrapped around his partner.

A minute of silence later Sokka said in a rough voice “Sorry for waking you up….”

Zuko looked flabbergasted “You’re Sorry? Sokka it’s not like you have control over your dreams.”

“Ya…. I know.”

He sounded so resigned and disappointed Zuko figured there was more than just a nightmare at play. He maneuvered Sokka around so they were facing each other, Sokka’s hands wrapped in Zuko’s.

Sokka was still resolutely looking at the bed and away from Zuko’s burning gaze.

“What’s going on in there Sokka? Please talk to me.”

Sokka nodded and open his mouth a few times before any words came out.

“So ever since my Mom died and my Dad started to go on longer leaves with the Red Cross - I started to worry about Katara and my Gram Gram, and basically every single thing. I had back up plans for my back up plans. I made us a tornado kit that I made Gram Gram keep under the sink. We lived in Nunavut, we don’t even have tornados!”

Sokka stopped for a moment trying to figure out what to say next. Zuko could see his partner was feeling a little lost so he started rubbing soft circles into Sokk’as hands as he held them.

“And then I was applying for universities and it stared to get really bad, panic attack after panic attack…. Sometimes for no reason, and sometimes they would last for days just one rolling into the next. Then I would feel hungover the next day without the fun drinking part before hand.

So Katara made an appointment and took me kicking and sternly refusing to the doctor, they uh… Well - So I have Generalize Anxiety Disorder and starting in uni I was also diagnosed with a panic disorder…”

Zuko clenched Sokka’s hands a little tighter in support to keep going.

“I have meds, that I take for actual panic attacks but I was able to stop taking chronic stuff a while back. I have a routine, I go swimming, I take that stupid joy through dancing class with Aang because it makes me laugh, I have my weighted blanket, and I paint. So I’m good right now. I wouldn’t have said yes to going out with you if I wasn’t okay, that wouldn’t be fair to either of us. I just didn’t know how to talk about it with you be-“

“Did you not tell me because you didn’t think I could handle it or because you thought I would think less of you?

Startled Sokka’s head snapped up to make eye contact with Zuko. “Spirtis no! I think you’re the strongest person I have ever met…. I - I guess I thought less of myself, like I was less worthy of your love because I feel all these things for no reason, like even when I’m good right? Even when I’m good it would still bubble up in my sleep and I would wake up - well like that. It was only after I Katara bought me that weighted blanket that I started actually sleeping through the night.”

“Wighted blanket?”

“Ya I know, turns out actual science to back it up! Pressure to help relieve anxiety, like a hug, or -“

“or me laying on top of you on the couch! That’s why you got so relaxed and sleepy isn’t it?”

Sokka smiled sheeplishy “Ya, once I figured out that pressure and touch kept me grounded I started getting really clingy with everyone. Toph had to start laying boundaries down, I now have to request a hug and she can and will deny them if she’s not in the mood.”

Zuko smiled softly “Ya that sounds like her.”

There was a silence as both of them tried to figure out what to say next. Sokka began to pick at his nails his hands still in Zuko’s.

Realizing his partner’s mind was beginning to wander somewhere away from him Zuko guided both of them back down onto the bed Sokka’s head tucked into his chest and for good measure he threw a leg over the taller man.

“Can I ask what it was about?”

Sokka spoke without looking up at Zuko “Their usually all over the place sometimes its me in my high school math class and everyone knows the answer except for me, or the gym teacher is teaching us how to write essays, those ones I just wake up stressed and a bit confused about what year it is…. Other times I’m being chased or I need to help Katara or my Dad but I just can’t seem to reach them.

Once last year I had this really bad one where I was babysitting my cousins toddler and we were out for a walk and then I just walked away and left them in the snow…. I couldn’t find them for hours. I woke up thinking I had walked away from a kid and left him to die, I had to call my cousin to make sure the baby was okay. She was so confused because Tu is five now and I haven’t babysat him in four years.

I have had a few where I make Aang cry and Katara yells at me and they leave forever. I always bring a coffee and a hot chocolate for them the next day, because I feel so bad about hurting them even if it was while I was asleep. And tonight… I don’t really get them much anymore with the blanket so I haven’t had one since we started dating, and uh you talked about me falling asleep at the wheel just before we went to bed, and when I was brushing my teeth I could see that it had started raining so I guess those thoughts stuck around because…”

Sokka clung tighter to Zuko as if to protect them both from an unseen force. Zuko kept rubbing his partners back and kissing the top of his head.

“I thought I was driving home from your place tonight, they always feel so real. But for some reason you were with me and then car was spinning and the air… When it landed I could hear you asking for me, saying you were bleeding. But I couldn’t move, I was frozen in place paralyzed and all I could do was listen, and then it was really quiet and I wasn’t sure if you were okay or - or if you had left or what. And it was raining and dark and all I wanted to do was turn around but I couldn’t.”

Zuko was a little thrown, Sokka was worried about him? About Zuko leaving Sokka?

“Hey babe look at me, Sokka love?”

Sokka tilted his head up to look at Zuko, he looked so apologetic like he had actually killed Zuko with his mind.

“Sokka I am okay, I promise. We didn’t go driving tonight. We stayed in at my house, we watched a movie. You made me so happy tonight, like you do everyday. I am so lucky to have you in my life. Okay?”

“kay.”

“But - and this is important. I want a partnership, I’m not looking for a therapist that sleeps with me I am looking for a relationship where we lean on each other. I need you to talk to me, trust that I will tell you my boundaries, I need this to go both ways. So from now on you have to start telling my this stuff okay?”

Sokka couldn’t look away, his eyes were twinkling with a few tears.

“You are amazing Zu, you know that?”

Sokka tilted his head asking for a kiss which Zuko happily obliged.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I just didn’t want to mess this up. I really like you.”

“Well lucky for you I really like you to, now do you think you can sleep some more? I think I have a duvet somewhere in the closet.”

“Just hold me… please”

“I can do that, good night Sokka.”

“G’night Zu…”

—————————————————-

The next morning they had a long talk over pancakes, which ended with Sokka falling asleep on the couch with his head in Zuko’s lap while Zuko read.

And if next time Sokka slept over there was a brand new weighted blanket on his side of the bed, and if Zuko a typical little spoon was big spoon during exams, and Sokka kept his meds in an overnight bag now, well that was no one else’s business except their own.

Fin

___________________________________________

Feel free to use any of this! I love reading fluffy modern AU’s of these two supporting each other. Two intense lads making each other laugh is my weakness. So I would love to read a long fic where something like this happens.

For more of my prompts take a look at - Send me anything you create fanart or fanfic! - https://archiveofourown.org/works/26162617/chapters/63657982

I wrote Sokka’s experience with anxiety and stress dreams from my own experience (not everyone feels and deals with anxiety the same way) But I also hate sleeping away from home, I have nightmares in every hotel when I’m on vacation.

#zukka #ZUKKA NATION #zukka RIGHTS #zukka prompt #modernAU #Modern ATLA #avatar fanfic #Zuko x Sokka #sokka has anxiety #supportive boyfriends #fluff #oneshot prompts #i'm sad and queer #under pressure #i need a cuddle #avatar fluff

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heyyyharry · 4 years

Text

Chapter 1: Blast from the Past

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Stay Mine)

…in which the ghosts from their past come knocking on their doors.

Word count: 6.5k

AU: actor!Harry, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Wattpad link

I wrote this chapter before Eroda/Adore You came out so the goldfish thing was totally a coincidence lmao.

When Harry was six, he had a goldfish.

He'd asked for a dog for his birthday, but his mother didn't think he was responsible enough to take care of a dog, so she bought him a fish instead. Despite not being as cool as a puppy, the goldfish was actually a great companion, and Harry loved him a lot. He called him Mr. Finny.

Mr. Finny died a week after coming home. It took Harry a month to get over Mr. Finny's death for it was his first experience of losing something that meant a lot to him.

He was too little when his father went away. He was four, and his sister was six — the same age as him when he lost Mr. Finny. So he guessed it had been rough for both his mum and Gemma to deal with such a big loss. He'd had nightmares for a whole week after losing his goldfish, imagine losing a person.

Losing things were easier because things couldn't walk away from you and if you couldn't find them, you could just replace them with something new and better. With people, you couldn't do that. Once you'd lost them, you could lose them forever. Just like goldfishes, even if Harry had found another one that looked exactly the same, it just wasn't Mr. Finny.

Ruby was his second experience of loss which had taken a heavy toll on him. He had lost a part of himself when he lost her. But then he found a better piece to fill that empty space when he returned to Holmes Chapel for Y/N's mother's funeral. They had both lost someone they loved, but they found each other, and now they were exactly where they wanted to be.

They had spent the last month of the summer travelling around Europe after attending Niall's concert in Italy and a friend's movie premiere in Paris. Y/N had only agreed to go because she couldn't say no to Paris, but she was genuinely happy during the trip, which made him happy too.

That was only until summer was over.

There was no perfect timing for finding out your loved one had passed away, but it certainly shouldn't have been at the airport just five minutes after he'd landed in London. It was Gemma who called and broke the news to him. She said their mother was devastated and they needed him to come home, so he immediately called his chauffeur to pick him up at the airport, and of course, Y/N wouldn't let him go alone.

Harry wasn't very close to his stepdad, but he loved the guy because he'd made his mother happy. Now she cried herself to sleep every night like she used to when Harry's father left. Harry had never thought he'd see her like that again, but he guessed it had taught him something new about loss.

Mr. Finny died because Harry had overfed him. He lost Ruby the same way, by loving her too much. When he tried not to love someone more than they loved him, he ended up losing his Bambi. Then there was his mum and his stepdad, who'd had a beautiful and healthy marriage, until death stepped in and took him away. Loss had no expiration date, people did. And no matter how old you were or how hard you tried, you would keep losing people anyway.

"Harry, wake up! Wake up!"

The first thing Harry saw when he opened his eyes was two bright eyes staring right back at him. He blinked fast, trying to get a grip on reality when he felt his girlfriend snuggle her face into his neck.

"You're safe, baby. I'm here," she said as he pulled her closer.

It was the third time that week Harry had had a nightmare. The first time was when he'd just got back to London after the funeral. The second time was just two nights ago.

"Is it the same dream?" Y/N asked. She seemed very concerned, so he gave her a smile and pressed his lips against her forehead.

"You didn't even leave a note this time," he said. "I came to your place and someone else was living there."

"No wonder you kept asking, 'where is she?' in your sleep." His girlfriend chuckled as she combed her fingers through his unruly hair. He loved it when she did that, it always calmed him down.

"I'm sorry I woke you up," he said with a pouty face.

"Nah, woke up a long time ago. I was watching you sleep."

"Creepy."

"Shut up. You love me."

"I do." Harry grinned as she got on top, straddling his waist and holding his face between her palms.

"You know, you can talk to me about anything that's bothering you, no matter how trivial you think it is."

"I know." He nodded. "I've been stressed out lately, that's all."

Y/N didn't seem to believe him but she knew him too well to continue asking questions. She leaned down, her lips brushing against his and her hand going from his chest, down to his belly button, and under the covers. His soft gasp turned into a moan, making her smile devilishly.

"Let me help you relax, yeah?" she whispered into his mouth, tasting every sound he made while pumping him agonisingly slow. "God, you're so hard. Is this for me?"

"Fuck, Bambi."

"Say you're hard for me."

"I'm—I'm hard for you."

"Hmm," she hummed and bit lightly onto his bottom lip. "It's so big in my hand, always makes me feel so full. God, I want your big cock in my tight—"

"Move in with me."

If a four-word sentence could instantly kill the mood, that would be it.

"What?" Y/N's face was almost paralyzed when she pulled away.

Harry had blurted out many things he shouldn't have said during sex with other people, like those couple of times he had called out her name instead of whoever he was with. But never had he been more embarrassed than this moment right now.

Cheeks turning red, the man sat up with his back resting against the headboard. His girlfriend was kneeling in front of him with her hands on her knees and waiting for him to break the silence.

"I'm sorry, I—I didn't...didn't mean that."

"You didn't?"

"Well, no. I mean...yeah, I did, but I—"

What the fuck are you rambling on about, Styles?

"I-I do want that. I want you to move in with me," he blurted with his eyes squeezed shut and when he finally opened them, she was staring at her hands, not at him anymore. He knew that question had come out at the worst moment, but he hadn't expected her reaction to be like this.

"You—you want me to live here?" She raised both eyebrows, pointing down. "In this house?"

"Yeah. I mean, you're basically living here now. It's not like anything has to change."

"It changes a lot, H. I love my flat and I...well, I just—You know..." Now it was her turn to stutter. "I mean, are you...sure this is what you want? We've only been together for three months."

"We've known each other for twelve years, Bambi."

"Still..."

It wasn't exactly an answer, but he had a feeling that it was. To say the least, he was disappointed.

"Look, it's okay. Let's just...just forget I ever asked. I'm sorry for making this weird."

"No, no! I—"

When she paused, he guessed she was trying to come up with a reasonable explanation for how she'd reacted, not an answer. But after a moment, she glanced back up and told him, "can I have more time to think?"

"Of course." He nodded quickly. "Take as much time as you need."

So that was a maybe, he assumed. A maybe was still better than a no, even though most of the time when someone said maybe, they actually meant to say no.

"You know I love you, right?" she spoke after a quiet moment. "Because I do. A lot. It's just—"

Before she could finish the sentence, he smashed his lips against hers. She tend to ramble when she got nervous or excited and that was the fastest and most effective way to shut her up. She called him rude for it but never seemed to mind.

Slowly, Harry pulled away, letting his lips brush hers. He loved the way she was gazing at him with hooded eyes and their foreheads against each other. He clasped his hands on either side of her face and whispered slowly, "I'll wait for your answer. Whatever it is, I'll love you anyway "

Y/N’s reply was only a hurried nod as she pulled him in and kissed him again.

They stopped the discussion there and went on with their usual morning routines: sex, shower, sex in the shower, breakfast, then him dropping her off at campus, and them sitting in the car for five minutes straight because she was too nervous to go on her own.

Normal people returned to uni after the summer with a new haircut or a new nose, not a new millionaire boyfriend who just happened to be a famous actor. Y/N kept telling herself she would eventually get used to it, but everyday passed by and she kept wondering when that would be.

"Want me to hold your hand?" Harry asked when he noticed the way she was pinching her thighs, and without waiting for an answer, interlocked his fingers with hers.

When they were little, she used to ask him to hold her hand as they walked to school on the day of an exam. Exams made her anxious, and even though holding his hand didn't solve that problem, it did temporarily put her at ease. Now, everyday felt like exam day...

"Want me to walk you to class too?" he joked, smirking as she gave his shoulder a nudge. "Well, if you don't feel like going to class today, maybe we could just go home and have more sex."

Giggling, she booped his nose. "You're cute. But I think I'm gonna man up and get out of this car."

"That's my girl. Keep me updated?"

"Sure, baby. Have fun at the photoshoot."

Harry kissed the back of Y/N's hand when she opened the door, but he didn't let her go right away.

"Hey! You forgot something!" He pointed to his lips, pouting like a little boy.

"You're like my mum!" she grumbled before kissing him quickly. "Bye, mum!"

"Bye, sweetie! Be good in school!"

Y/N waved her boyfriend goodbye for the last time and walked straight ahead, ignoring all these strangers' eyes on her. It was insane how just a few months ago she was a nobody on this campus. She could have worn her pyjamas to lectures and nobody would've cared. But now she couldn't even leave home without having to make sure her outfit that day wouldn't get her trending on Twitter. To be honest, it was nice how he loved showing her off to the world and was proud of having her as a girlfriend. She really hoped their relationship would be considered normal once she'd become a famous writer. Well, if she became a famous writer.

"Another agent rejected me today!"

"Good morning to you too, Y/N!" Alice giggled as Y/N took a seat in front of her at the library desk. "Did they give you feedback this time?"

"Nope. Just 'wish you the best of luck in the future'. That was all they could come up with and they had the nerve to say no to my book!" Y/N breathed angrily and turned to see Alice raising an eyebrow at her. "Sorry. I got a bit riled up."

"Really? I couldn't tell."

Y/N chuckled as she jokingly flipped her friend off. "Anyway, I know I'm supposed to get used to rejection because JK Rowling also got rejected twelve times before becoming the JK Rowling but—"

"Y/N, Y/N," Alice cut her off and reached out to hold her hand. "Your book is great! I'm sure you'll find an agent who appreciates your talent. If not, you can always ask Harry to hook you up with someone."

"Taking advantage of my boyfriend's name and connections would be the last thing I would want to do, thank you," Y/N said while kneading her temples, making Alice laugh.

"It's only the third time you've been rejected. Relax!"

Relax.

Y/N didn't know how to do that anymore.

It wasn't just her book. It was also Harry, their relationship, and her newfound 'fame'. Maybe people didn't want to work with her because of what they'd heard. Maybe they were afraid that she'd be known as Harry Styles' girlfriend and not for her writing. Or maybe her book just wasn't good enough. Either way, it sucked.

But those things were just minor problems at the moment. Alice must have thought they were driving her crazy, but the truth was, she was so stressed out about her boyfriend's question that even the tiniest problem could trigger her. She wished she could've just said yes. In fact, she had almost said yes. After all, he had a good point. It wouldn't make a big difference because they were practically living together now. Still, there was something so scary about moving in with someone you'd only been dating for three months.

If something happened and you two broke up, you wouldn't have a place to go back, physically and emotionally, which was why she never wanted to rely on him. She needed to make sure that she could still get back up on her own if something went wrong. Y/N just didn't know how to explain that without making it sound like she was sceptical about their relationship. She had never been more sure about anything else. But then again, nobody could predict the future. And seeing how fragile he was after losing his stepfather, she didn't think it'd be a good idea to have this conversation now.

"Hi!"

The high-pitched voice pulled Y/N back to reality. She and Alice both looked up and saw a brunette with the kind of smile that they would put on the university's brochures. Without waiting for Y/N to figure out if they'd met before, the girl extended her hand and said enthusiastically, "my name is Mandy and um...I'm a big fan of Harry...your boyfriend. Nice to meet you!"

"Oh, okay...Hi.” Y/N smiled awkwardly as she shook the girl's hand. Meanwhile, Alice was trying her best not to crack up.

Mandy happily went on, "there's a new club opening tonight and I'm going there with my friends for a girls' night. So if you're interested, you should totally come with us."

"I appreciate that you asked but—"

"We'll be there for sure!"

Y/N's jaw dropped when Alice gave her an unapologetic grin after taking the offer on her behalf. Mandy, however, seemed overjoyed. "Great!" She clasped both hands together. "I'll send you the address on Instagram. My friends will be so happy to meet you."

The girl left as quickly as she'd arrived, but Y/N was still sitting there and staring at Alice with her mouth agape. It took her a moment to speak, "no! I won't be there! Are you insane? This is a trap!"

"Y/N, don't be crazy."

"They want me to come so they can pull some shit and embarrass me!"

"Or..." Alice lifted her shoulders, "they just hope you'll bring your celebrity boyfriend. If he can't make it, they still get to hang out with his girlfriend. It's a win-win situation."

Sucking in a breath, Y/N blew out her cheeks and ran her hands over her face.

"It's been hard, isn't it?" Alice asked.

"So fucking hard!"

"Don't worry, big sis. I'll be your bodyguard tonight."

Y/N rested her head on one hand while Alice was holding her other. It didn't feel as good as when Harry did it, but it'd do for tonight. She hoped so.

Before the drama last year, her life used to revolve around partying, drinking, and writing. Now she spent most of her time on her own or with Harry, and as much as she enjoyed this new lifestyle, she still missed the good old days.

Thanks to Alice's motivational talks, she had gained enough confidence to let herself be excited for tonight. She had put on makeup and a cute outfit and even curled her hair. She was ready to have fun. But all that excitement only lasted until she arrived at the club.

"Is that Harry Styles' girlfriend?" someone said as soon as she walked in.

People were staring at her like she'd shown up in her sleeping gown, but she turned a blind eye to them all and followed her new friends to the bar. It might take more than a couple of drinks for her to relax.

Alice, on the other hand, was really enjoying the atmosphere and bobbing her head to the loud rock song she normally wouldn't listen to.

"What's with the long face? Have some fun, sis!" she told Y/N, who responded with a snort and a side-eyed look. She was just about to say something to justify her being awkward when a guy and a girl walked up to her and Alice and asked if they could have a picture with her. That had never happened before so Y/N could only smile as the guy handed Alice his phone.

"Right, I'm not dating an actor," Alice mumbled, rolling her eyes.

Y/N managed to contain herself until the strangers left and then started bouncing like a little girl. "I'm famous for no reason, Al! I feel like a Kardashian, but in a good way."

"I told you it wouldn't be so bad, didn't I? Come on, let's dance!"

Alice grabbed Y/N by the arm and dragged her to the dance floor. It was only then that Y/N allowed her body to move freely to the music. She loved the quiet life, but she relished the crazy fun times like this when there was no distraction and intrusion. Tonight she would be that main character in a rom-com, just having fun with her friends and not giving a fuck about anything else.

But then, she saw him.

Like a ghost, he disappeared and reappeared every time the light flicked from red to blue. Or maybe it was really a ghost that she'd seen. The thing about ghosts was that they weren't always the spirits of the dead, they could also be memories and people you had lost as you grew up, and sometimes those were the things that haunted you forever.

"Blake..." the name slipped out of her mouth as she watched the man say something to his friends and make his way to the nearest exit.

Her entire body went stiff. The music was muffled as the buzzing in her ears became louder and louder. She'd had only one drink, she couldn't have been so drunk that she started seeing things that didn't exist. That could've been someone who looked like him. Someone with the exact crooked smile, black hair, and pale eyes. She told herself that only to push her way through the crowd and go after the man.

Just like Alice in Wonderland, she knew she shouldn't have followed the white rabbit, but she was too curious to let him go. What if it really was Blake? Then what? What would she do?

Before she could process those thoughts, a person bumped right into her at the door and almost knocked her over.

"Watch where you're going!" she snapped at them, but then her eyes were wide with shock. "Isaac?"

"Smiley!" Isaac exclaimed, looking more uneasy than happy to see her. "What...what are you doing here?"

"Girls' night out." She pointed to Alice and the girls. "What about you?"

"Oh, I'm here...um..with a friend. Are you in a hurry?"

Y/N glanced back to the exit, staring longingly for a moment and then heaved a sigh. "No, I thought I saw someone I knew, but...never mind. What's happening with you?" she changed the subject. "I haven't seen or heard from you since the funeral. Harry is having dinner with Niall tonight, I thought you were with them."

"Well, Niall asked me to come but I've got plans," Isaac said, staring at the drink in his hand.

She found it odd that they hadn't made eye contact for more than a second, but she didn't want to think too much about it right now.

"About the funeral..." he trailed off. "How's H?"

"Where do I even start?"

"It's that bad?"

"Well, he keeps saying he's fine but I don't think he is," she breathed. "His mother is heartbroken and he cannot stay with her because he still has to go to work."

"That's awful..."

"Yeah, he's been worrying too much about Anne that he doesn't give himself time to grieve."

Isaac didn't respond as he threw his head back and gulped the rest of his drink. He seemed nervous and distracted tonight, which was nothing like him. Was there something about this club that got people acting strange?

"So where's your friend?" Y/N changed the subject again to help him loosen up, but if anything, it only made him tenser.

"My friend?" He cleared his throat. "Yeah, about that, I—"

"Y/N?"

Y/N turned around when she heard her name, and in front of her was a girl, brunette and petite. She skipped the introduction and jumped right in for a hug and Y/N's first instinct was to shove her away.

"What the fuck? Who the fuck are you?!"

"My name is Emilia," the girl said abruptly. "Emilia Styles..."

"Is this some kind of joke?" Y/N snorted and squinted her eyes at Isaac, but Emilia didn't give the man a chance to think of a response.

"I thought you said she knew! Were you lying to me?"

"Please let me explain! Emi!"

"What the fuck?!" Y/N caught his wrist before he could run after the girl. "How about you explain to me what just happened!"

"Look, Smiley. I gotta—"

"No!" She gritted her teeth, her grip only tightened. "You're not going anywhere until I have my answer! Did she say her name was Styles?!"

Isaac tossed his head back and took a deep breath while Y/N was patiently waiting for his explanation. He was stuttering again. It'd all he'd been doing tonight and she'd thought it was weird at first, but now it was really getting on her nerves.

"She's Harry's half-sister," he finally said. And Y/N stilled for a second.

"Harry doesn't have a—" Then, it hit her. "Oh, fuck..."

"Yeah..." Isaac gave a nod when her fingers loosened around his wrist and she eventually let him go.

"Does Harry know?"

"No." He shook his head. "I met her in a cafe two months ago."

"Have you met...him?"

The man swallowed and slowly shook his head again. "But he...um...he knows about me and that I'm friends with Harry."

"So let me get this straight." Y/N took a few steps backwards until she was standing against the wall. "You've known this girl for two months and you haven't said anything to us?"

"I couldn't. You two were in Europe and then there was the funeral. I didn't want to break this news to Harry when he'd just lost his stepfather!"

"Then why did you tell Emilia that I knew about her?!"

"I fucked up, okay?!" Isaac buried his face into his palms, his head hung low. Y/N had never seen him like this before. He was supposed to be the one who kept people calm no matter how bad the situation was. He was Isaac. The Isaac she knew never freaked out!

"She was very eager to meet Harry," Isaac uttered as he tugged at his hair and ignored the look of doubt she was giving him. "She asked me to introduce her to you both but—"

"But you knew Harry wouldn't want to meet her, and you didn't want to let her down, so you lied."

That wasn't even a question because it was the answer. And honestly, Y/N didn't know how to feel about this. Disappointed? Maybe. Worried? Yes. Probably scared too. There was no way Harry could take this news better than she had.

"You're telling him tomorrow."

"What?"

"You heard me." She crossed her arms. "You're only making it worse by keeping a secret from him."

"Didn't you just say he was going through a lot?"

"Yes. That's why you can't let him find out the truth by himself, he has to hear it from you."

Isaac opened his mouth to argue, but he came up with nothing because she was right. There was no excuse for him to continue keeping this a secret.

"I will," he said at last and she finally let go of that sigh of relief. "But please don't say anything to him. I'll talk to him first thing in the morning."

"Alright." Y/N bowed her head. So much for a fun night, she told herself.

"Stop checking your phone, Harold!"

"Sorry, I just—"

"Put it away!" Niall said as he reached across the table and turned off Harry's screen. "I didn't take you out to dinner so you could stare at the screen all night. Were you even listening to what I was saying?"

"Yes, you were telling me about your ex, Beth."

"Jess."

"Yeah, her." Harry shrugged and drank down the last of his wine.

"Who were you texting?" Niall gestured at his phone, raising an eyebrow. "Was it Y/N?"

"No, she's out with her friends. I'm waiting for her to text me back."

"Chill out, mum." The singer chortled as he leaned back in his chair. "You remind me of my high school girlfriend who didn't give me space."

"I'm not clingy!"

"Didn't say you were. You said it yourself."

Harry rolled his eyes at his best friend's snarky remark but then went on anyway, "I'm just afraid she's mad at me or something."

"Why? What happened?"

"This might be embarrassing but," he said with a pause, "I asked her to move in with me...right when we were about to have sex."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah...It's dumb. I know."

"Fuck yeah it's dumb!" Niall slammed his hand on the table and three other people turned to look at him but he didn't care. "Well? What did she say?"

"She said she'd think about it, but I might have scared her a little."

"Or maybe you're just overthinking." Niall calmly adjusted his napkin and poured himself another glass of wine. "Being angry about something so insignificant just doesn't sound like Y/N to me. I think you should ask her how she really feels."

Harry put down his phone at last, his eyebrows furrowed. "Should I?"

"Why not? I know this whole serious relationship thing is new to you but communication is key. I mean, just look at me and Jess."

"You were together for a week and I haven't even met her."

"Exactly! That's why you don't wanna end up like us, Harold."

For almost seven years they'd been friends, that was the first time Niall had given him good relationship advice. So Harry decided to listen to the man and stop by his girlfriend's place after dinner.

He left her a text to let her know he was coming, but she probably didn't bother to check her phone. Why couldn't she be one of those people who couldn't live without their phones? He loved that about her, but her missing his texts and calls constantly could be frustrating.

Harry was out of breath when he climbed five floors to get to his girlfriend's flat. It'd been over a year, and the lift was still broken. How could she do this everyday? If he was her, he would've moved out as soon as he could; but he didn't come tonight to tell her that, of course.

Before Harry could ring the doorbell, his phone buzzed with two new messages.

⌲ Grumpy Little Deer: I'm almost home.

⌲ Grumpy Little Deer: You won't believe who I saw at the club.

He was just about to ask who it was, but then he heard footsteps going up the stairs.

Y/N appeared with a weary smile and immediately went in for a long passionate kiss. She smelled like alcohol mixing with the sweet scent of perfume that he loved, and he almost whined when she pulled away.

"What's that?" she asked, staring at the paper bag in his hand.

"Oh, right." He smacked his forehead, chuckling. "I thought you might be hungry, so I bought you noodles from your favourite Chinese restaurant."

"Aww, yes! I'm really hungry," she said and kissed him on the cheek. "I swear I've gained a lot of weight since we started dating."

"Your perfect boyfriend puts all your exes to shame, doesn't he?" Harry popped his dimples at his own joke, but she said nothing and only smiled in return.

"So, earlier at the club—"

"Wait!" He grabbed her hand. "Before you tell the story, can I say something first? It's kind of important."

"Oh, okay, s-sure." Y/N nodded, looking a bit worried and puzzled as he sucked in a shaky breath.

"I want to..um...apologise for this morning. I think I came off as a bit too pushy when I asked you to move in with me. You're not ready yet, and it's fine if you want to say no. Just know that I would never pressure you into doing anything you're not comfortable with. And if you think I'm being too clingy, you can tell me anytime."

"What are you talking about? You're not clingy." The girl squinted her eyes as she cupped his cheeks. "Baby, you're not. I love being around you."

"Really?" Harry said under his breath, his lips curved into a bashful smile.

"Absolutely!" She scoffed. "So don't you ever say that again or I'll—"

Without letting her finish, he pulled her closer to a full-body contact and buried his face into the crook of her neck, freezing her to the spot. His strong grip had told her everything he didn't want to say, and the story that'd been on her mind since she left the club had gone out of the window.

After a quiet moment, he pulled away and another smile appeared. "Who did you see at the club?" he asked.

Y/N's brain started screaming 'Blake, Blake, Blake' as her lips parted and she began to stutter, but what came out of her mouth wasn't that name.

It was, "your half-sister."

Watching his smile slip slowly, she wished she could just take back those words. She was supposed to tell him she'd seen Blake, or at least someone who looked like Blake, and nearly had a heart attack on the dance floor. But she had chickened out and ended up breaking the promise to Isaac. She had never felt shittier.

"H-How?" was all he said, his trembling fingers were withdrawn from her face.

"I ran into Isaac," she admitted. "He was with this girl...Her name was Emilia. He said she was your half-sister..."

Harry's face twisted before slowly turning blank. Y/N felt her heart pounding in her chest as she started second-guessing what his next move would be. She expected him to say something. Anything. But then he shoved the paper bag in her hand and stormed off, leaving her no choice but to chase him down the stairs.

"Okay, where the fuck is she?!"

"Harry!" Y/N shouted when her boyfriend shoved Isaac aside and charged into his living room. She stood at the door, pale with fright, and the regretful look in her big eyes had told Isaac everything he needed to know.

He clenched his jaw, staring her down in disbelief. "You fucking told him?"

"I—"

"Do not speak to her that way!"

"You need to calm down, mate," Isaac told Harry as Y/N rushed forward to stand between them, pushing them apart.

"Calm down?" Harry laughed bitterly. "You don't get to tell me to calm down, mate."

"Baby, please, don't—"

"And don't fucking raise your voice at my girl. She told me the truth, which you've been keeping from me for two fucking months!"

Isaac stayed quiet, only giving Y/N one last glance before turning away. She knew what that look meant. If she was Isaac, she wouldn't forgive herself either.

"Why...why don't we all sit down and...and talk about this?" she stuttered, one hand holding her boyfriend's shoulder, the other pressing against his chest, but neither of the men paid attention to her now.

"Why did she come to you?"

"She didn't come to me. I met her by accident." Isaac drew in a long breath. "It's a long story, so please calm down and then we'll talk."

As Harry leaned on Y/N for support, Isaac leaned against the door. Once the silence had filled up the room, Isaac was the first to speak.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier...All of this is my fault. But Emilia didn't lie about who she was, H. She's shown me photos of her parents."

"So you haven't met him?" Harry glanced back up to meet his best friend's gaze. "That man."

"No." Isaac rubbed the back of his neck. "But Emilia told him about you and he wanted to see you."

"Bullshit." Harry exhaled a laugh as he looked away, his lips drew back in a snarl. "That fucking asshole could've 'wanted to see me' twenty years ago, but guess what?"

"I know you're mad at him—"

"No, not at all!" Harry chimed in, interrupting Isaac. "You can only be mad at the people you care about. And I don't want to have anything to do with that man or his family."

"Emilia did nothing wrong. If you would at least talk to her—"

"I don't fucking care. Tell this Emilia girl I don't want to see her and I don't want her to bother the people I love."

Isaac tossed his head back and inhaled deeply when Harry stormed out of the room, but Y/N was still standing there, tugging at her earlobe.

"I'm so sorry, I—"

"Please leave," he cut her off, putting his head in his hands.

"No, you don't get it. I didn't tell him on purpose!"

"Y/N." The way he said her name made her shiver. "Just leave."

Y/N clenched her fists as her shoulders slumped. He didn't even look at her when he called her by her name, not Smiley, so she guessed she should go. Enough damage had already been done tonight.

She left his house with her head hung, and he slammed the door right behind her. She deserved that. But Harry didn't. Now he was sitting in his car with his forehead on the steering wheel and didn't even flinch when she got in and shut the door. So she sat there for almost a minute, just pinching her thighs, not knowing how to start.

"I'm so sorry," he spoke, at last, his voice was shaking as he lifted his head to look at her. "I don't want to get angry and raise my voice when you're around. Like...like that night in the hospital."

"But you weren't yelling at me."

"Still, I shouldn't have yelled. Whenever I yell, I lose someone I care about," he whispered, twisting the silver signet ring she'd given him on his birthday. "Do you think I'm a bad person for not wanting to see that girl?"

"Of course not." She took his hand away from the ring and placed it on her thigh. "The only bad person here is your dad. And you shouldn't let his mistake many years ago make you feel like this is your fault."

With a gentle smile, Harry reached out his hand to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. He looked into her eyes, thinking for a bit. "You know, I used to wish he would come back one day. I believed that would fix everything and our family would be happy again. But as I grew up, I realised some people left for a reason. And most of the time, it was the same reason they should never return. I-I just...What if he tries to get back in touch with my mum? I don't want him to ruin everything, Bambi...Not again."

"He won't. We won't let him." She held his neck and stroked his cheek with her thumb. "I'm sure Isaac will respect your decision and ask the girl and her father to stay away. Everything will be fine."

Neither of them knew for sure what could happen next, but hearing it from her put him at ease. Pressing her lips against his, Y/N gave him a reassuring smile. "Want me to hold your hand?"

"Yes, please," he said, making her chuckle as their fingers intertwined.

"You're not coming up?"

"No, thank you.” Harry put on a grin as he watched his Bambi unbuckle her seatbelt and open the door. "I think it's better if I spend some time on my own."

"See? You wouldn't get this option if we lived together," she said and snorted when he raised an eyebrow. "Too soon?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry." Beaming, she folded him in her arms and gave him a chaste kiss. "Goodnight, baby. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Bambi, wait."

Harry quickly rolled down the window as she turned back, putting one hand on the top of his car.

"I forgot to ask you if you had fun with your new friends."

"Oh, yeah..." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, smiling at her feet. "They were nice. And some random people asked for a photo with me!"

"Ooh, you're famous for no reason now, like the Kardashians, but in a good way."

"Exactly!"

The way her nose crinkled when she laughed never failed to make his heart jumpy.

"Goodnight, kid. I love you."

"I love you more," Y/N said before they shared one last kiss. And she stood there, waving goodbye until his car was gone.

It was 2 AM. Y/N felt like her legs were falling apart as she climbed all those stairs up to the fifth floor. After a whole year of filing complaints about the broken lift in this building, she had come to terms with the fact that they would never have it fixed. She could either suffer once in a while, or move in with Harry and never have to suffer again.

That should be added to the pros and cons list of living alone and moving in her boyfriend. She would make that list later, now she couldn't wait to fall into bed and sleep until noon.

Boyfriend: 1

Y/N: 0

Caught up in her random thoughts, Y/N almost didn't notice the empty boxes in the hallway. It seemed like someone had finally moved into the flat in front of hers, but honestly, she didn't care. She'd never talked to her old neighbours anyway, so it wouldn't matter if she didn't say hello to her new one.

The girl was digging through her bag to look for the key when she heard footsteps on the stairs. They stopped right behind her, then a familiar voice that she wished she hadn't recognised froze her to the spot.

"Y/N?"

#my girl series #older!harry #actor!harry #younger!y/n #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfics #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfictions #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut

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mfingenius · 5 years

Note

Can we please get a modern au where laurent and damen are dating and a sex tape is leaked??? Bonus points if auguste is in it ❤❤❤

Laurent is whiter than a sheet. He was already pale, but now he’s fucking transparent. Damen doesn’t know what to do. His own cheeks are burning, and somehow his mind is ultimately, entirely blank. He can’t think.

When it finally stops - Pallas is entirely red in the face, and he looks terribly close to fainting - no one says anything. He was supposed to be giving a presentation for class, and Lazar - his boyfriend and part of his group for the project - was airdropping the presentation. What had popped up had not been the presentation.

“What the fuck was that?” And fuck, of all classes, it had to be this one, didn’t it? Damen’s already awkward during dinners at Laurent’s home - Professor Auguste being Laurent’s brother and only legal guardian makes a lot of things odd - but this is going to wreck everything.

No one says anything.

“I think I’m going to vomit.” It’s said too lowly for anyone to really hear Laurent, but Damen does. They always sit next to each other - at Damen’s insistence, and though Laurent rolls his eyes every time Damen drops beside him, it always brings a pleased flush on his face - and their hands had been clasped together. They still are.

Because of shock, Damen’s grip has slackened, however, and Laurent has no problem wringing his hand free and then standing up.

“Laurent, wait-” Damen says uselessly. He doesn’t know what he’d say, anyways. His head is spinning.

Laurent leaves the classroom.

Damen has never seen Professor Auguste look angry - he has an easy going, laid back personality - but right then, he looks murderous.

“I didn’t airdrop that.” Lazar says immediately.

Damen is inclined to believe him. He’s lewd and crass a lot of the time, but he’s Damen’s friend. He wouldn’t do that. The video begins to play again, and Pallas gives a muffled yelp and shuts his laptop quickly.

“I-” he says. “I don’t - that’s not-”

Who sent the video isn’t Damen’s biggest concern, if he’s quite honest. His biggest concern is who the fuck recorded it. It had only played for a few seconds before Pallas had desperately paused it, but it had been enough for Damen to recognize his room at the Frat House. He’d been too shocked to notice much other than himself and Laurent on the bed, Laurent’s legs wrapped tight around his waist, Damen rocking between them.

He’d almost not believed it, but he’d recognize Laurent’s quiet moans anywhere.

Fuck.

“What the fuck?” He says, nearly on reflex. He turns to look at his classmates - everyone is looking at him, but when he meets their eyes, they all look away, embarrassed. “Which one of you fucking bastards-”

“Damen,” Nikandros, behind him, says. “Look.”

And he shows Damen his phone, where the video is playing again. It’s from an unknown number. When he looks up, people are looking down at their phones, and it doesn’t take much for Damen to realize that everyone got it. Fuck, even he got it.

Laurent probably got it.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

“Class dismissed.” Auguste says icily. If Auguste got it, Damen’s going to die. “Damianos, a word.”

Everyone ushers out quickly, the sound of their talking deafening; Damen only catches bits and pieces, but he doesn’t need to, to know what they’re talking about.

“If you filmed my brother without his knowledge,” Auguste begins, voice deadly. “Or if he agreed and then you sent it to someone-”

“No!” Damen says, quickly. Fuck no, neither of those, ever. “No, I would never do that! I don’t - I - I never would’ve-”

He doesn’t know what else to say. The knot in his stomach is tightening, and he thinks he, too, might vomit at the idea.

Auguste looks at him critically for a moment, but seems to believe him. He drops onto his chair.

“Fuck,” he breathes. Damen has never seen him look like this - troubled, anxious, and furious - and it’d be more surprising if Damen’s brain were working. “Fuck.”

Damen agrees. “I - I need to go find Laurent.”

“What are you doing here?” Damen is never in the mood for Nicaise, but now less than ever, especially if he’s blocking the bathroom door behind which Laurent is.

“Get the fuck out of my way,” He snaps. “I want to talk to him.”

“He doesn’t want to talk to you,” Nicaise drawls calmly.

Nicaise is Laurent’s only friend - why Damen can’t fathom - and they’re both two years below Damen in Uni. Damen’s in year four, and Laurent and Nicaise are both in year two. The only reason Laurent is in Auguste’s class is because he’s taking various advanced classes.

“I don’t believe you,” Damen says. He doesn’t want to; if Laurent thinks the same as Auguste, if he thinks that Damen did this, he’ll never speak to Damen again; Damen can’t have that.

“He’s puking his guts out, you animal.” Nicaise rolls his eyes. “He doesn’t want to talk to anyone.”

If Laurent’s vomiting it means he’s probably having an anxiety attack, which is the last thing Damen wants; he knows how hard they are for Laurent to deal with alone, and they have a system in place for when it happens. If he could just get to him-

“Are you deaf?” Nicaise snaps, when Damen steps closer. “I’m not letting you through.”

It’s comforting to know that Nicaise is at least loyal to Laurent. Damen could appreciate it more if it weren’t inconvenient for him right now.

There’s a loud retching sound from inside, and Damen winces. He presses his ear against the door.

“Sweetheart?” He asks gently. Nicaise gags, but he lets Damen talk uninterrupted. “I - will you let me in?” There’s no response, and Damen sighs. “Alright, I - I just - fuck, I’m so sorry Laurent. I never - fuck. Can we - talk, please? I know right now is not the best time, but I’d like to talk, whenever you can.”

Again, no response. Damen sighs and leans back.

“Told you,” There’s no smugness in Nicaise’s voice, for once. He looks - concerned.

Damen doesn’t know what to do.

He watches the video obsessively, and spends the afternoon figuring out where the fuck it was recorded from, and when it was taken.

It’s dark and everyone’s gone to bed by the time Damen finally finds the small video camera; it was in his bookshelf, behind his football trophies, pointing directly at the bed.

He steps on it.

He gets a lot of pats in the back and dirty smirks from his teammates; most people seem to believe that he’s somehow enjoying this, that he meant for it to happen, and he doesn’t know which is more sickening. That they think him capable, or that they don’t see anything wrong with that.

Laurent won’t talk to him - to be fair, he won’t talk to anyone - and he’s stopped showing up to Auguste’s class, along with avoiding Damen in every possible way.

“I’m sorry, dude.” Nikandros says.

“You never liked Laurent.” Damen tells him bitterly.

“No,” Nikandros agrees. “But I don’t like this, either. You look like shit.”

Damen flips him off.

“Have you gotten rid of the camera?”

Damen scrambles off his bed quickly. “Laurent.”

Laurent is standing in his doorway, attempting to look unaffected; instead, with his arms wrapped around himself hesitantly and the look he’s giving Damen’s room, he looks terrified.

“I didn’t do it,” Damen tells him immediately, because he needs Laurent to know. “I never would’ve - I don’t - I never would’ve done anything like that to anyone, least of all you, I love you so much sweetheart-”

“I know,” Laurent says quietly. “I love you, too.”

The words seem to finally ease the ball of anxiety that has become Damen’s chest.

“You know?” Damen asks.

Laurent nods and takes a step closer cautiously, uncertainly, as though Damen might be angry at him.

“I - thought it was you, at first,” He admits lightly, mouth twisting. “I thought that maybe - that that was the whole point of it.” He smirks a little. “Nicaise told me to pull my head out of my ass and see how stupidly in love you with me you were.”

Damen likes Nicaise now. He most definitely likes Nicaise now.

“So I - I watched it again.” Laurent looks slightly nauseated. “I recognized - the clothes I was wearing, at the beginning. It was from Friday’s party, so it could’ve been literally anyone who put the camera in your room. “Nicaise helped me narrow it down.”

“You know who it was, then?” Damen asks, fists already clenching. He wants to hug Laurent so badly, but, since they started dating, he’s learned that that might spook Laurent more than calm him if Damen does it too unexpectedly, so he doesn’t.

“Govart,” Laurent says.

“Fuck,” Damen breathes. Of course. Who else? “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

“No need,” Laurent says. “I got him expelled.”

“You did?” Damen asks. “Fuck, you’re amazing. I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you, too.” Laurent smiles lightly. He shifts uncertainly, and then speaks again. “Can you - hold me? I just - I want to-”

He trails off.

“Of course,” Damen says. He wouldn’t rather do anything else. “Here?”

Laurent nods lightly, and so Damen sits on the bed with his legs spread, letting Laurent settle between them. Laurent curls into his chest, and Damen wraps one hand around his waist posessively and the other one around knees, so that he’s wrapped around him. He feels Laurent breathe out, relieved, and knows that this is who he wants for the rest of his life, whatever else happens.

————————–

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huangsilks · 4 years

Text

let your walls down for me (z.cl)

summary: worries about university, SATs, and moving away weighed heavily like a burden on your shoulders. one thing you knew for sure, though, was that your friendship with him wouldn’t falter, and you found solace in that.

pairing: bestfriend!chenle x reader

genre: hurt/comfort, fluff

a/n: hhHHH this is my first actual fic and i’m not v satisfied djsjdjjfjd but i enjoyed writing it and that’s the thing that matters!! if anyone is reading this rn and wants to be friends: hi! i’m cam! i wanna make more friends 🥺 👉🏻👈🏻

“you look like actual shit.” bestfriend!chenle snickers at you, a cheeky grin adorning his features as he pays close attention to the messy side bangs that fell into your face and uniform tie that was thrown on lopsidedly. you roll your eyes as he meets you on the sidewalk in front of your house, the same sidewalk you two had met each morning since second grade. chenle reaches out his hand and brushes your fallen locks behind your ears, chuckling at your irritated expression as you swat his hand away.

“well maybe if someone didn’t keep me up all night playing pubg, i would’ve woken up to my alarm.” you playfully side-eye him, knowing full well that your disheveled state was upon his insistence. flashbacks rang in your head from the night prior, a full seven hours of your life spent gaming that you’d never get back. considering you two would be uni students in just the next year, your sleep schedule was horrendous.

“we need to get more sleep than we do. you know that sleep deprivation is bad for adolescent brain development?” you nag.

“okay, okay. mom.” chenle disregards your light scolding, draping his arm over your shoulders nonchalantly. chenle was naturally a touchy person, even when you guys were little, so you were used to everything at this point— the hand-holding, the back-hugging, the general invasion of space when it came to him. admittedly, you weren’t the biggest fan of skinship, but zhong chenle was always an exception. he did it so often that people thought you two dated (not that you minded).

“your brain is so underdeveloped because you never sleep.” you tease, and he immediately feigns an overdramatic look of hurt, pushing you away from him. you beamed at his comical response. his orange locks radiated in the early morning light, and the up-turned corners of his lips stretch into a shit-eating grin.

“say that to me the next time you ask for calculus help, dipshit.” he mocks, and you stand on your tip-toes to ruffle up his hair, messing up the tangerine coloured locks (although he managed to still look good).

chenle sticks his tongue out at you, putting his arm back on your shoulder the way it was before. you were all smiles at his affectionate nature. a comfortable ambience fell over the two of you, as you basked in the undisturbed sunrise and yielded to the peaceful routine of walking to school.

“so have you asked bora to be your prom date, yet?” you inquired your best friend. jang bora was a good friend of yours both since elementary.

“it’s only the first day of senior year, it’s too early to ask her. what about you? find anyone you’d wanna go with?”

“no, not really. maybe i’ll just go alone.” you complained, scratching the back of your head. it wasn’t that you didn’t want to go, but nobody in particular really caught your eye.

“c’mon, don’t be like that. i know so many guys who would love to be your date, y/n.” chenle leaned in a little closer to whisper in your ears, “and i heard a rumour that park jisung wants to ask you.” he teases you with his gummy grin, a sparkle in his eye meant only for you.

“i don’t think so, chenle.” you shake off his mischievous laughter, holding back a smile of your own. “i think he’s more interested in you than me.” you add subconsciously.

“hey, if it makes you feel any better, you can be my date if bora rejects me. deal?”

“wow, chenle, i just love being your second choice.” you sardonically joke.

it was early autumn, and the typically mediocre scenery of your neighborhood seemed almost picturesque today. the muted orange hues of the fallen leaves perfectly complimented chenle’s bright ginger hair, a byproduct of some mindless bet he lost during summer. you swore that orange hair would look revolting on anyone; but he was zhong chenle, and zhong chenle looked good in everything. you still recalled the self-satisfied cackles chenle made at your widened eyes, because what the hell, chenle? how do you look that good with orange hair?

morning walks with chenle were always a safe haven for you two. all pressures to be considered ‘popular’ or ‘cool’ were reserved for the rest of the day, with other schoolmates and friends, but never with eachother. you liked starting your days off with him, opting to simply enjoy eachother’s presence rather than bombarding eachother with too much talk and mental stimulation at such an early hour. it was in these moments that you two could be at peace with yourselves.

you sigh in contentment at the foreign breeze, recognizing the first sign of autumn. to you, the messy escapades of summer— driving around in chenle’s car during the ungodliest of hours, blasting 80s rock music with the windows down so that the wind would seep into your hair— these events seemed so distant and long-gone. an image of two teenagers huddled haphazardly under a thick blanket, a twitch streamer on the laptop being the only source of light, chewing on shitty leftover pizza as you two struggled to stay awake—these were memories of a hazy dream you’d try so hard to remember. recollections of sandy flip-flops, overly competitive volleyball games, and cloud-watching at the beach, with chenle’s orange head in your lap as he dreamt lazily, airpods in his ears and sunscreen on his nose. these all were snapshots frozen in time. a time that felt lightyears away from the present, a time you’d try so hard to hold onto.

because now, it was the first day of senior year, and everything would be changing. the hustle and bustle of ap classes, sports games, student council, part-time jobs, and the pretense of a social life always kept both you and chenle on your feet. nothing would ever be the same in a few months, as the never-ending questions about university would loom over everyone, the topics of scholarships and SATs and moving away constantly being thrown around. it was all so overwhelming, so burdensome. one thing you knew for sure, though, was that your friendship with chenle wouldn’t falter, and you found solace in that alone.

you were zhong chenle’s best friend since second grade — he was intelligent, charismatic, well-rounded, and widely popular towards the entirety of the school. he assumed the role of student council treasurer, the soccer team’s infamous right midfielder, and subject to much talk amongst the females in your highschool. but with you, he was just zhong chenle, the sweet boy who moved in two doors down from you when you were 9. there was no facade your eyes couldn’t see past.

“hey, y/n?” chenle begins, and you glance up at him next to you, peering through your eyelashes. “can i ask you, like, a serious question?” you nod at your best friend, caught off gaurd by the sudden question.

“does the future ever scare you?” he ponders nervously. you pause in your steps, thinking of the right words to say. chenle looks at his feet, avoiding your eye contact.

“well, whether we like it or not, the future is going to happen, right? and i don’t think there’s any point in fearing the inevitable. the best we can do is try adjust to the changes and enjoy the ride.” you admit, honestly. and if you were anyone else, chenle might’ve laughed at the cheesy answer, might’ve made a joke about how you made everything too serious and tried to lighten the situation. but it was you, and he could trust you with anything.

“but y/n. everything is going to change in a few months. there’s final exams, graduation, and prom. but after that, it’s all just a jumble of ambiguous what-ifs. nothing is assured anymore. i never told you this, but i might have to move away for my soccer scholarship. i’ve never lived away from home and i don’t... i don’t think i can handle it. it’s too much all at once.”

his sudden rant of emotion was laced with anxiety and stress. you instinctively take his larger hand into yours, feeling how shaky and clammy they had become. you knew it took a lot out of him to finally admit those words to you.

“i know how you feel, chenle. but you’re strong. you’ve handled everything life has thrown at you, every single time. you can handle this, too.”

“but— but what if i never come back? the thought of losing everything and everyone scares me, so much.... i can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

his anxious words drifted into the autumn wind, ringing through your mind like a mantra. zhong chenle constantly tried so hard to be perceived as perfect and flawless to the whole world, that sometimes it was shocking when he let his walls come down to you. you don’t respond at first, not sure what to say to his vulnerable confession; so you don’t respond immediately, and instead, you took his face into your hands and stared him in the eyes, feeling the warmth and softness of his skin. you hold out your arms and wrap them around his taller frame, saying nothing for a few moments. you two were silent during this intimate time. when you pulled back, his surprised eyes were filled with tears.

“i know you, zhong chenle. you will get through this. and plus, i’ll never leave your side. it’s always going to be you and me, ok? wherever you go.” you assure him, beaming optimistically. and you meant every word.

he blinked away the tears and laughed, “thank you, y/n, for being my best friend. thank you for staying with me all these years... i love you.” his words left you taken aback. in all your years of friendship, chenle never told you he loved you. you wiped his tears away with your sleeve and laughed at his sad expression.

“awww, i love you too, you dummy. you know that right? now stop crying, you look like a baby.”

chenle snakes his arms around your waist and pinches your sides, sending a tickle jolting up your body. you slap his forearm as he chortles jubilantly in response.

“ow! nevermind, i take it back. i totally hate you.” you mock.

(you love him. very, very much).

he holds your hand all the way to school, and you know that wherever life brought you two in the following months, despite the anxious discussions on university and scholarships and moving away, zhong chenle would always be yours.

#nct drabbles #nct writing #nct writers #nct dream fanfiction #nct dream fluff #nct dream chenle #zhong chenle #nct chenle #nct chenle fluff #nct fluff #nct fanfiction #nct chenle fanfiction #nct dream imagines #nct dream blurbs #nct blurbs #nct drram drabbles #nct imagines

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curlyhairallday · 5 years

Text

Bump and Dumps - Part 4

Hattie wasn’t use to doctors she had developed a fear of the doctors after going to get contraceptives at age fifteen. The doctor had yelled at her basically calling her a slut without saying those words exactly and lecturing her on safe sex and absistence it did not help that the doctor was her best friends at the times mum shortly after that visit her friendship had also ended due to her not being a good role model. After that incident Hattie had healed herself she would wait out illnesses and pray they subsided. So walking into the doctors surgery was terrifying her it did not help that her and Harry were still in a rocky place so the whole situation was making her anxious.

“Cmon love, I’ve signed us in we just need to wait. I found the best doctor around I asked Ben on who they used when they were pregnant.”

She was thankful for his mindless chatter in this moment as it began to reassure her slightly, although she was still pregnant not in a relationship or a proper job. If anyone was judging her it was herself she had mucked up her life plan, she realised that her fears were coming true she would have to send her kid to some snobby school as you can’t send a rockstar kid to a normal school and it would be spoilt her kid was going to be some Malibu brat as Harry spent a lot of time out there what if he took the baby from her. Fuck, what had she done Hattie began to realise she had ruined everthing.

“Hatters, stop!” Harry demanded taking her hand and gently rubbing his thumb in reassurance, he was use to her over thinking although she usually managed to mask it very well Harry always knew.

“I don’t know..” She began to stand ready to leave in her state of panic.

“Harriet Styles.” The doctor called she began to panic more now she thought they were married but that was far from the truth.

“It’s Willams, we aren’t together.” She gestured between her and Harry to further exaggerate the point.

“She likes to play hard to get.” Harry chuckled Hattie shot him a death look.

“So when was your last period?”

“They are irregular, I looked on my app it was around three months ago.”

“Ok, I will do an internal ultrasound today to check everything, we will then take some blood work.”

Hattie removed her trousers and began to feel awkward she hadn’t shaved in a week there had been no need. Now not only was the doctor going to be down there Harry was also likely to see. This pregnancy had ramped up her anxiety she felt so judged constantly.

“Just lie down this may feel a bit odd.”

Harry sat at her head and reached for her hand, he also felt very nervous he wasn’t sure whether he was allowed to be excited or not as Hattie seemed so on edge.

They both looked at each other as they heard the heartbeat throughout the room. Hattie’s eye watered she felt love go over her, there was her little baby.

“I guess you both know that is the heartbeat and if you look here you see the small bean that is your baby, youre around eight weeks along.”

“Hello Spud, you’re gorgeous.” Harry muttered he kissed Hattie forehead, she didn’t know it but she had completed him with this baby.

“Wow.” Hattie muttered she looked at Harry and was glad that even though she may not have spud’s dad she would never let spud go.

The doctor discussed appointments and symptoms she may experience she prescribed her some tablets for her sickness. She also discussed the risk due to Hattie father having diabetes she was at risk to experiencing it during her pregnancy so meant she had to watch her diet more than usual.

“Do you want to get some food now? We can discuss everything. I know a good chinese place.”

“Can we just go Tesco’s then home, all Spud can stomach is soup.”

Once they arrived at Tesco, Hattie got out knowing the drill Harry tried to limit their appearances in public together to stop the media blowing up. As she got out she hoped he would prove her wrong and follow her but all he did was request her to grab him some chicken breasts and hummus for dinner.

She walked round Tesco and realised that this would be the baby’s life either it would be thrust into the spotlight or he would distance himself from spud.

“Harriet?”

“Aj, oh my gosh. I haven’t seen you since graduation.”

They quickly caught up on their new jobs and how they were. Aj was a very attractive solicitor who had gone into working for his dad company right out of law school. He and Hattie had one fun night during freshers the first year of uni after that they had stayed friends but had never explored it further. Harry hated Aj existence along with everyone who Hattie had been with before him. He had met Aj once when he had joined Hattie on the night out and all he did was taunt Harry with cheeky remarks about her moves in the bedroom. Where as, Hattie knew it was Aj he was sweet and funny and always knew what he wanted, unlike Harry.

“I am in a real rush sorry, but why don’t you meet me on Thursday at Ricardo’s around 7pm. I will text you.”

“Ok sounds fun.”

Hattie hadn’t been on a date in a while and seeing as her and Harry were just co-parents, it would be fun. Although, she would probably not be able to stomache any of the food at Ricardo’s but she needed to begin living.

“What took you so long?”

“I ran into Aj.”

“Wait Aj like against the sink Aj.”

“Yes Harry, why do you call him that. Do you want to refer to me as Mums garage Hattie.”

Harry smirked as he thought back to his birthday last year, he had wanted a quiet time with family and of course Hattie. They had gone to the garage to look for some baby pictures for a documentary about his second album and Hattie had dropped something on her foot after Harry rushing to her aid. Afterwards, she had kissed him which led him to pushing her against the wall and taken her hard and fast. They had both been begging and grunting it was definitely a favourite memory of his.

“Or Camille the sofa.”

Hattie had soured his memory of them and instead he flooded with guilt, Hattie had gone away for a week with friends although she had left early due to an emergency at work and she was an intern at the time so had to rush back if she wanted any chance of a job at the end. Harry had hated the look when she caught camille and him going at it on the sofa.

“So what did he want anyway?”

“Just to catch up, we are going to Ricardo’s this week.”

“Wait you’re going on a date.”

“No Harry I am seeing a friend.”

“No you’re not.”

“Harry you are away I can do what I want we are friends that’s it.”

Harry pulled over and stopped the engine of the car Hattie looked at him shooked unsure of what was happening.

“I love you for fuck sake Hattie, this isn’t going away. I loved you for ages Hattie but i didn’t want to ruin your life the one with the husband that makes you dinner and the children and the dog. The couple that is always around. I can’t be around all the time I don’t want you to be alone and sad. But I do not care anymore I want you and as selfish as this sounds that’s my baby and if anyone gets to date you pregnant it will be me. I have plans I didn’t want to do this now fuck.”

“Don’t propose.” Hattie panicked looking at him begging him to think.

“I am not. Not yet I will one day but it will be perfect. I have a new house a smaller one with the open kitchen so you can cook and watch spud play. It has five rooms instead of seven. Also has a nice garden its a twenty minute tube ride to work for you. I also want you to be mine. I am sorry I made you ever doubt the fact you were. What do you say?”

#one direction fanfiction #one direction #Harry Styles #harry styles imagines #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfction

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dvp95 · 5 years

Text

quiet on widow’s peak (4)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.9k (this chapter), 13.5k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

Phil did not invite Chris and Sophie to come to Rossendale with him. Not because he doesn't like spending time with them, but because he wouldn't know how to explain a situation to his parents that he doesn't even understand himself. To his knowledge, PJ also did not invite them.

"Change it," Chris whines from the backseat. He'd lost the scuffle against Phil to claim the front, and he's been complaining about Phil's music choices for half the trip so far in retaliation.

"You like McFly," Phil huffs, continuing his search for an album that won't elicit a loud sigh from behind him.

"That's fucking slander, is what that is. You hear that, PJ?"

"Oh, I hear you both," PJ says, flat. "Loud and clear."

They've only been driving for probably forty minutes and PJ already looks like he wants to kick them all out of his car. Phil doesn't exactly blame him, although he resents being lumped in with Chris in the 'annoying background noise' category.

He has no idea how they've managed to invite themselves along, but Phil was too polite and PJ was too smitten to tell them off when they came out to the car with their bags.

So, this is a group activity now. Phil's parents had been thrilled to hear it when he texted them the updated situation - they're taking it as a sign that Phil has a motley crew of good friends again, like he'd had as a kid and again in uni. He supposes that they're not wrong, exactly, but he's definitely anxious about introducing them to Chris.

"I like this song," Sophie says, mild, and Chris closes his mouth.

"Fine, this one is alright," he says begrudgingly. Phil glances at them in the rearview - Sophie is patting Chris' knee and giving him the sort of smile that always makes Phil feel like he shouldn't be present. He looks back down at his phone so he doesn't have to sit with that feeling too long.

PJ turns up the volume, probably to curb any more bickering before he has to toss them all out of his car, and Phil tries to just lose himself in the music for a little bit.

His friends sing along at varying levels of obnoxiousness and Phil tries not to keep opening the Tumblr app to see if someone has messaged him. Well, someone specific. I'm going north today!, is the last message sent between them, and Phil is still waiting for Winnie to offer to meet up or something.

After their non-starter interview, Phil and Winnie kept missing each other's free time to finish it over Skype. Phil kind of wants to hear more from them before he checks it out himself, but that's not looking likely at this point, especially if he's lugging his housemates along with him all weekend.

Phil opens a puzzle game on his phone and lets the mostly-mindless swiping distract him. It's a long drive up to Rossendale, and the last thing Phil wants is to be left alone with his thoughts.

Phil's parents love having guests round almost as much as they love to have him home, so Phil isn't at all surprised to walk in and smell a roast cooking. He expects that treats will be made as soon as the oven is free, because that's what his mum is like.

"Hello," Phil calls into the house, kicking off his shoes. His friends follow his lead - PJ puts his boots carefully on the mat that Phil didn't bother aiming for, and Sophie struggles with a particularly stubborn knot in her laces - as he hangs up his jacket. "Mum? Dad?"

"Child," his mum greets him happily, appearing in the entry to the kitchen and making grabby hands at him until he envelops her in a hug.

"Missed you," Phil tells her, quiet enough that his friends won't hear to make fun of him.

"Oh, I missed you," she says, giving him a kiss on the side of his face. She turns her beaming smile onto his housemates, who all pause in what they're doing like a frozen tableau. It's a little funny. "More children! Hello! I'm Kathryn, it's so nice to meet you. And so nice to see you again, PJ," she adds in that somewhat pointed voice that Phil hates so very much.

"Hello, Kath," PJ says, grinning wide. He gives her a hug, too. Chris holds out his hand for her to shake when she's done squeezing the life out of PJ, but Kath will have none of it.

"Don't be silly," she says, wrapping her arms tight around Chris' waist with a laugh. "We hug in this family."

"Really?" Chris asks, and the look he gives Phil is almost more embarrassing than if he'd asked 'so why isn't your son a hugger?' out loud. "Something smells absolutely delicious, Kathryn. Is that you, or is supper cooking?"

Phil stops himself from groaning out loud, but barely. He probably shouldn't be surprised at all that Chris' cheeky, flirtatious charm extends to mothers as well. Kath laughs and smacks lightly at Chris' chest before she turns to Sophie.

Skilled at making people feel comfortable in four seconds flat, Kath chatters away about supper and how lovely Sophie's curls are and how long it's been since she's seen Phil, did they know how long it's been? She herds them all into the kitchen like they're cattle and insists that Phil take their things upstairs while she puts the kettle on.

"Er, alright," Phil says, looking at the small collection of bags that they'd brought with them. Their clothes and toiletries are all there, of course, but so is all the filming and hunting equipment. He'll have to make at least two trips.

"Your father got the guest room and Martyn's room all set up before he went out," she tells him, either not noticing or ignoring his internal struggle.

Oh, wonderful. Phil had somehow forgotten about the part where they had three beds for four of them. He's positive that his housemates won't mind sharing with each other, but now he's been tasked with the anxiety-inducing puzzle of whose bags to put where.

"Okay," Phil says again, even though they've moved on to talking about their favourite kinds of cakes so that Kath can wow them all with her skills. He tries to catch PJ's eye, but PJ is too wrapped up in a conversation about strawberries to notice.

Alright, well. Phil grabs as many bags as he can carry and brings them upstairs, feeling some tension deep inside him get a little tighter as he notices that most of their personal effects are packed away, either in storage or already on the island, and his childhood home looks more like a show home than he's comfortable with. The stairs only creak a little under his weight, nothing like the old house in Brighton, but Phil still feels unsettled.

In the end, he throws PJ and Sophie in the guest room. It's a selfish move more than anything, because he's brought PJ for enough visits to be familiar with the way his parents look at each other every time PJ teases him.

They don't ask. They're not the type of people to pry, and Phil isn't the type of people to offer information unprompted. They've all been in this limbo for years where Phil doesn't tell them that he likes boys and they don't outright question if PJ is just a friend and, frankly, Phil is tired of it. So, Chris can sleep alone.

He takes his own bags up last, because he knows that stepping into his bedroom and seeing all the personality stripped from it is going to make him feel things he isn’t prepared to feel. Phil takes a deep breath before he goes inside, and releases it shakily as he drops his things on the floor.

The beige carpet is almost mocking him, telling him that it's time to grow up, and Phil leaves the room as fast as he can.

God it is so hard to get anything done here. Sorry to complain at you randomly but like... I forgot how hard it is to work when my parents are hovering and asking a million questions lmao

Winnie still hasn't responded to Phil's early morning message, but the frustration of his parents distracting him and his friends from their work is starting to get to him. Chris has completely charmed them, somehow, and both Sophie and PJ are too polite to put headphones on and ignore them the way Phil has decided to.

Surprisingly, he gets a reply right away: omg how have i never considered the fact that you had to tell your parents you wanted to hunt ghosts for a living thats so fucking funny also that sucks i live in a house full of students and i always have to go to the coffee shop to work on essays and shit

There's nothing good like that where my parents live. Your coffee place is in the city, right?

“No! He didn’t!” Chris is laughing, somewhere in the living room, and Phil has to turn up the white noise on his headphones. The idea of his parents and housemates trading embarrassing stories about him while he's holed up at the table with audio files he hates makes him itch.

yeah, Winnie says. Phil is so thrown off by the short message that his fingers pause on the keyboard.

Is he annoying them? He doesn't mean to. Phil thinks over the messages they've exchanged since talking on Skype, the wheel of worst case scenarios spinning quickly.

Before Phil can apologise or even really get his anxious mind to settle down, his laptop bloops again, once, twice, three times. Relief from the worry that Winnie doesn't like talking to him curls around Phil's shoulders, relaxing them.

It's a screenshot of Google Maps with an address pulled up, a different building circled in a bright blue. yeah i hella recommend and it's really close to wilkins as well, is the message accompanying the screenshot. Then, right afterwards, 10/10 hot chocolate if i do say so myself.

Phil isn't very big on hot chocolate on its own, but he is very big on quiet coffee shops.

It takes a lot of cajoling and promises that he won't be out too late for Phil to convince his parents that they'll be fine to drive to the city by themselves. His dad gets the same look on his face that he always does when Phil talks about work, but his mum merely pats his cheek and says, "Oh, love, be careful. I'll be cross if I have to get you from the police again."

"That was one time," Phil says, feeling his face flush as Chris looks at him with glee.

"One time too many," Nigel says, a bit too sternly to be a joke. Phil wonders if his friends pick up on it or if they just think he's banting like he's been all through supper, that same dry humour that Phil can see in Martyn making him funnier than his housemates had expected.

PJ and Sophie both laugh a bit, so... probably just Phil's knowledge of his dad making it more pointed than it really needs to be.

The coffee shop is open late, so Phil and his housemates decide to do some recon at the Wilkins place. The sun hasn't quite set yet, and the street isn't completely deserted or anything, so they have to wait for a good moment to leave the car.

They're careful. They've done this before.

The Wilkins place is an older townhouse in Rusholme with windows that have been boarded up since the early noughties because they kept getting broken. Technically, someone still owns the property, but the Wilkins family either didn't care about it or had forgotten it existed, because it's been abandoned as long as Phil can remember.

It also isn't very scary in his memory. It's draughty and has rats scurrying about, but the electricity and heating still worked, somehow, and the social situations he'd gotten thrown into at Martyn's shoulder were definitely more nerve-wracking than the house itself.

All of these things are still more or less true, according to everything Phil has been told, but when Phil climbs in through the loose boards of the kitchen window, the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. He hesitates for so long on the sill that Chris pushes a bit at him, reminding him to move before some annoyed neighbour calls the police.

It's dim inside but not so dark that Phil's eyes strain; the streetlights and setting sun filter in through the boards and showcase the dust covering every surface.

Phil helps Sophie and then Chris through the window, PJ giving them boosts from the outside. They take the various bags from PJ and Sophie immediately pulls out the camera, ignoring the thuds that PJ's feet make as he launches himself up and clambers in like a monkey.

"Sexy," Chris drawls as PJ nearly tumbles onto his face. He's grabbing out equipment of his own, and so Phil is tasked with getting PJ through the window safely.

"At least I've got a modicum of upper body strength," PJ says. Neither of them are bothering to whisper, and that's making Phil anxious.

He can't put his finger on it, but... it doesn't feel like they're alone in here. There's probably someone hiding out from the chill of late October in one of the various empty rooms, and Phil's worst case scenario wheel is spinning so fast it's making him dizzy.

"Do you hear that?" Sophie asks, hushed. That stops PJ and Chris from continuing their bickering, and all three men freeze as they strain for whatever it is that Sophie's hearing. After a moment of complete silence, Sophie shakes her head. "It stopped. Hopefully the mic caught it over you lot."

PJ looks appropriately abashed, but Chris just shrugs. He's got a flashlight and an EMF meter, and he slings one of the bags over his shoulder before disappearing.

This is technically for Phil's channel - they're checking the place out, and Sophie is filming just in case something happens - but Phil still feels weird when PJ ducks off in another direction and Sophie stays at his side instead of following one of her boys, camera steady in her hands and the tip of her nose pink from the cool air.

"What did you hear?" Phil murmurs, beckoning her further into the house. The sound of creaking wood is so loud, like it's right above their heads, and Phil can only hope that it's one of his friends going upstairs.

"It could have been the wind," Sophie says mildly. "Or rats."

"Is that what it sounded like?"

Sophie blinks up at him and her mouth twists in an emotion that Phil can't place. "No. No, it sounded like a person talking."

Yeah, that's what Phil was afraid of. "Someone might be living here," he whispers, focusing on the dark hallway and trusting that Sophie is following.

The creaking again, this time from beside them, and Phil peeks his head around the corner to confirm that the staircase is what he's hearing. Chris is halfway up it, flashlight off between his teeth as he grips the railing like he's afraid the stairs are going to give out under him.

Phil hates this part. He'd rather do this completely alone than have to herd his friends like sheep. He leaves Chris to his own devices and moves into the lounge. This is where the majority of the litter is, empty bottles and cans and crisp bags everywhere. Phil takes a couple photos of it all and sends them to Martyn.

Remember your friend who used to bring a garbage bag to every party? Looks like he was the only one lol

He pauses. All too aware of Sophie's eyes and possibly the camera lens on him, Phil sends the photo to Winnie as well with a different caption: Does it always look like this?

Neither of them respond by the time Phil has picked his way through the first floor, which is at least good for his focus, but it doesn't explain why the house feels so much different than it had seven or eight years ago. Phil feels unsettled here in a way that he doesn't usually get anymore, goosebumps down his arms that aren't from the cold and the constant, unnerving feeling that someone is looking at him from the shadows.

Phil's phone buzzes as he and Sophie debate in whispers if they should go upstairs. Phil hates leaving anything to someone else, even if it's just a few rooms that surely PJ and Chris are capable of exploring on their own. He's in the middle of trying to explain that to Sophie when his voice catches in his throat.

"Peej says we should go," Phil says, interrupting himself. "He found something weird in the attic."

"What's he doing in the attic?" Sophie hisses.

"Dunno. I didn't even know there was an attic."

"We should go, then," says Sophie, like that decides it. Although it does rankle a bit to be lower on the totem pole of his own project, Phil has to admit that Sophie is right. If PJ is saying that it's time to go, then it's time to go.

Phil climbs out of the window first, taking the equipment with him, and then helps hoist Sophie safely down. She's so small that it's not even a strain, really, even with how little exercise Phil gets. They wait, huddled together, and Phil feels some of the knot in his chest start to loosen when he hears Chris and PJ arguing in whispers before the window boards get slid out of the way again.

"What did you find?" Phil asks immediately, and PJ hushes him on his way down.

"Let's go, I'll tell you at the café," he whispers, leading the way down the pavement with strides so purposeful that Phil wonders if he's been in this area before. It's all the rest of them can do to keep up with him, and Phil spares a moment to feel sorry for Sophie and her short legs.

He hangs back with her and lets Chris keep pace with PJ. Chris is still talking at a silent PJ in a hushed, passionate tone, like he's fighting with a brick wall, and Phil doesn't need to be involved in that.

The coffee shop is only a couple of streets away, but the tension that the Wilkins place and PJ's subsequent discovery has brought to the group makes it feel much further. PJ stops in front of a purple door, and Phil has a begrudging respect for his ability to remember where something is after simply being told the address. The shop is small and a little dingy, but the lighting inside is soft through the narrow windows and there's a fireplace that Phil longs to curl up in front of like a cat.

Chris scowls at PJ and holds the door open for him in the same breath. Phil doesn't understand their relationship and at this point he's too afraid to ask, but he ducks into the inviting warmth anyway to try to get the goosebumps off his skin.

The two employees behind the counter look at the door like they've been caught with their hands in a cookie jar. A girl with brightly-coloured hair is holding a bunch of marshmallows, a hand poised mid-throw, and an unreasonably tall guy with an unreasonably large mouth is gawping as one of the marshmallows hits him in the chin.

"You missed," Phil informs them, grinning a bit as he unwinds his scarf.

"Oops," the girl laughs, setting the marshmallows down and pulling up a customer service smile. "What can I get for you guys?"

While PJ and Sophie pore over the menu and Chris starts asking if she'll throw marshmallows into his mouth if he asks very nicely, Phil's eyes drift to the other worker.

His mouth is still open, a bit, and his face flushes when their eyes meet. "Er," he says, glancing behind him as if Phil is looking at someone else, and that's so endearing that Phil is sufficiently distracted from the mystery down the street.

Phil isn't extremely self-conscious or anything, but he also knows he's not going to be the hottest guy in a room, so he's a bit flattered and a lot confused about this guy's reaction to him.

The thing is, the guy is very attractive. A couple of perfect curls poke out from under his cap, and there's some type of shimmer on his face that Phil could not put a name to if you paid him. He knows literally nothing about makeup, but he knows that it makes this giant of a man look softer and his blush even more obvious when it deepens.

"Hi," Phil says, giving him a little wave. He can still hear Chris chattering on and Sophie debating the merits of a hot chocolate versus a cappuccino, so he's pretty sure nobody is paying them any attention. The guy twitches like he wants to look over his shoulder again, but he stops himself.

"Uh, hi? Sorry to be, like, weird, I just - I didn't expect -"

The voice is familiar, the rambling is familiar, and then it clicks. "Oh, hi," Phil says again, warmer this time. He steps closer to the counter and grins up at them - an unusual thing in itself, since Phil doesn't meet many people taller than him. "You didn't mention that you work here."

Winnie's shoulders slump forward in a kind of relief, and they scratch the back of their neck, looking awkward and out of place even in an outfit that coordinates with the colour scheme of the whole shop. Phil looks the uniform over and immediately regrets it, because he didn't mean to see Winnie's name tag and now he feels weird about knowing something he wasn't actually told. He doesn't feel too weird about being here, though, because - well. Winnie had technically invited him.

"Honestly, I didn't know you'd be 'investigating' so soon," says Winnie. They're still blushing and the finger quotes are somehow cute, even though they're being used to poke at Phil's career. Their nails are dark and sparkly, and Phil desperately needs to stop noticing things about their hands. "I would have told you, probably, or I'd just - I dunno, try to make a better first impression."

"You're making a fine first impression," Phil assures them.

Winnie snorts. "Oh, bullshit."

"Phil," PJ says, nudging him. Phil suddenly remembers that there are, in fact, other people around him, and he can't just keep looking at Winnie's long, dark eyelashes. "What are you having?"

Honestly, Phil hasn't even looked at the menu. He's so easily distracted by pretty boys with big hands and - oh, right, he's got to be careful about that, even in his own head. Especially in his own head. Winnie isn't a pretty boy, he really shouldn't be thinking about them like that at all.

"Uh," Phil says eloquently. He's very particular with his hot drinks, usually, but he's got a lot going on in his mind right now and it's easier just to shrug at Winnie than to look away and think. "Dunno, actually. Surprise me?"

Winnie smiles, and Phil's stomach twists. "I can do that."

#quiet on widow's peak #phanfic #phanfiction #dnp fic #words words words

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