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no-pucks-given · 3 years

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TYSON JOST | LIGHT MY WAY HOME

A/N: More than 12.000 words later, more than a month after the initial request from Taylor popped up in my notifications. What a freaking ride. My longest fic I've ever written, and maybe even my favourite one. Thank you, to everyone who hyped me up, send me inspo and send me sweet asks. I couldn't have done this without all of you. Special thanks to @dumb-and-dunner, @chicagoblackhawkslover96, @heybarzy and Chrissy (who doesn't have Tumblr unfortunately).

Warnings: Angst, ‘can I strangle him yet?’ Tyson, swearwords, some major character development and (how could I not?!) a happy ending.

Also: Gabe and Melissa Landeskog play a big part in this fic, so if you aren't comfortable with them, you might want to skip this one.

Word Count: 12.1K

Requested: Yes.

The NHL lifestyle, or the ‘popular’ lifestyle was attractive to all young, hormonal boys. You’d known that for a long time. You stood by Tyson’s side when he got drafted into the wicked world of the NHL. Parties, drinking, sex, training until you can barely move, fights, games, wins and losses. It all had it’s charms, but it also had its dangers. Just like any other guy Tyson wanted to experience it all, the whole package,

You assumed you fell under that ‘whole package’, you were his girlfriend for a reason, right? And you did, for a while. You partied together, came home together, did everything together. But the moment Tyson became older and ‘known’ outside the regular hockey fans, that title didn’t mean much anymore. He became more and more the type of guy you didn’t fall in love with, the type to take you for granted, the type to enjoy the attention of other people, other women in particular. You weren’t the jealous type, you didn’t want to claw out the eyes of every woman that looked at him, but you were at a breaking point. Maybe you were jealous, you weren’t jealous of those other women, you were jealous of the attention Tyson gave them. Attention he should’ve been giving to you, his freaking girlfriend.

You were however the loyal type, the type to come home after a long night. And that’s exactly where things went wrong with Tyson. While you were waiting for him at home with a meal, a warm bed or just simply anything else, he was out. You had no idea where he was exactly, he was simply ‘out’, whatever that might mean. You tried to talk to him, you tried to make him see that this wouldn’t end well for either of you, but he simply waved off your concerns, shrugged his shoulders and moved on.

How do you talk to someone who rediscovered himself? How do you talk to someone who thinks he’s on top of the world? How do you save someone from the downfall of success when they don’t want to be saved? You knew one day he’ll come down from this high, one day he’ll realize that he screwed up. One day he’ll come to the conclusion he let something special slip through his fingers, and for what? Fame? Drinks? A rush of adrenaline? One day. But you knew that it wouldn’t be today.

However today is the day that you’re done. Absolutely fed up with all the bullshit excuses Tyson has been feeding you, all the coming home late or not even coming home at all. You have no idea what he’s been up to these last months, he’s barely home. Even when he’s home it’s like he isn’t really there. You can’t even remember the last time the two of you slept together or the last time you actually went to bed at the same time. Breakfast together? A lifetime ago. A lazy day together? Can’t remember. Date night? Months, months ago. Even thinking about it pisses you off to no end, the pain and hurt slowly making place for a new emotion: anger.

It’s frustrating to say the least. You love and take care of him like he means the world to you, and he does. Tyson on the other hand seems to take you for granted, or forgets you’re here at all. It seems like you’re talking to a brick wall instead of your boyfriend. No matter how hard you try, your words have no impact, your tears don’t make him feel anything. It’s like he’s a totally different person. You barely recognize him anymore these days, he feels like a stranger inside the body of the man you love. It feels like you’re both living your life, besides each other instead of with each other. It hurts, that’s for sure.

Like any other day you’ve prepared dinner, put it on the table and sat down on one of the chairs. All you can do now is wait, wait and pray he’ll show up this time. You even texted him, begged him to come home and simply eat dinner with you for a change. Of course you didn’t get a response, of course it’s complete radio silence from his side. God, you were desperate at this point, you don’t even try to deny it.

With every passing minute your hope disappears little by little. You stare at the food on the table until it’s completely dark outside, no sign of Tyson. Hours passed and you barely noticed it, it isn’t until you try to stand up and your muscles ache from sitting in the same position for a long time that you realize how much time actually has passed. “Fuck this, why am I even trying anymore?” you mutter to yourself, shaking your head. This isn’t worth it, it hasn’t been for a long time. Maybe, just maybe you’re finally ready to admit it to yourself.

Deciding to choose yourself over Tyson is a major decision, one you probably should’ve made sooner. It doesn’t matter, what does matter is that you’re choosing you now. You make the split second decision to just grab your stuff, just the necessary stuff. You remember Gabe’s offer, at the time you waved it off with a smile, pretending it wasn’t as bad as it might look to the outside world, but now? You want nothing more than to take him up on his offer. So what’s stopping you?

Even though you were excruciating calm this whole time, the moment you step into your bedroom, or Tyson’s bedroom, you break. This is real, this is really happening. You grab your bags, filling them with some of your stuff. Some clothes, some toiletries, your makeup, everything you might need. It’s a tough job, it’s even harder when you almost can’t see past the tears. At some point you lose track of things you did and didn’t grab, just shoving random items into your bag.

You let out a frustrated sigh, your body sinking down on the floor. In your hands the box containing all your high school love letters, all the small gifts you made each other. Tyson was quite handy, who would’ve thought that? You smile at the memories, sorting through the box. You frown at the feeling surging through your body, is this how heartbreak feels? Looking down at the contents of the box you sigh, wiping away the tears streaming down your face. Why couldn’t life be as simple as it used to be? It shouldn’t be this hard, right? You grab your prom picture between your fingers, smiling sadly at the two people in the picture, both smiling like they just won the lottery, both utterly in love with the other. How time can change..

You throw the box on the bed, maybe it will remind Tyson what the two of you had was special, maybe he’ll realize what he’s about to lose. If it doesn’t, well, it’s his loss. Hauling your bags downstairs is a full workout, you intended to bring ‘just the essentials’ but you have way more important stuff than you originally thought. You aren’t planning on returning to this house any time soon.

Shutting the car door after you loaded in your stuff gives you some form of relief. You let out the breath you’ve been holding in. You made your decision, it’s time to follow through now. You make your way back inside, and into the kitchen. Cleaning up all leftovers from dinner, which obviously is a lot more than you expected. Although.. did you really think he would show up? You shake your head again, putting the leftovers into the fridge. After you finish the dishes you retreat back to the living room, falling down on the couch with a loud sigh. All you can do now is wait.

You could’ve just left and never look back, but that isn’t your style. If you’re going to leave, you’ll do it the right way. You won’t leave without giving him a piece of mind, letting him know he fucked this up for good. You try to focus on the movie playing on the screen, but your heart keeps beating harder and harder, at this point you wish you would’ve just left instead of waiting for Tyson to show up. God, why did you have to do it the right way? Because you know, deep down, you would’ve wanted him to do it the same way. It’s the humane thing to do, it’s only right after spending such a long time together.

The front door opening brings you out of your thoughts. Honestly you don’t even know what time it is, but frankly you don’t care. All you want right now is to get this off your chest and leave. Tyson’s eyes widen when he comes face-to-face with you, surprisingly he doesn’t seem that intoxicated. You suspected he went out, but at this point he could’ve been anywhere.

“You’re still up,” Tyson says, walking past you and flopping down on the couch.

“Yep, and you missed dinner,” you counter, crossing your arms. Tyson simply shrugs his shoulder, clearly not caring enough to explain his absence. “I texted you to make sure you would be here,” you say, even though you know it doesn’t make a difference.

“Yeah, I was busy,” Tyson answers, looking down at his phone.

You almost feel the need to chuckle, to start laughing at his stupid behavior, but this is anything but funny to you, it fucking hurts. “I’m done, Tyson. I’m fucking done,” you say, shaking your head, trying so hard to keep the tears away.

Tyson looks at you with dull eyes, no emotion visible on his face. “Then go to fucking bed, I really can’t deal with your problems right now,” he sighs, turning his head back to the phone in his hand.

Right now, at this moment you know you made the right decision. This isn’t behavior of someone who’s in love, this isn’t even behavior of someone who loves. “You don’t have to deal with me anymore, because I’m leaving. I’m done, we’re done,” you tell him, emphasizing the last part. Tyson’s eyes shoot to yours, the panic clearly written all over his face now.

“No, we’re not. You can’t break up with me, y/n!” he almost shouts at you, standing up from the couch.

“Yes, I can and I will. You don’t get to act like you care all of the sudden, Tyson. You haven’t acted like a boyfriend in months. You haven’t given me any reason to stay, so I won’t. I’m done with whatever this is,” you say, waving between the two of you. Tyson grabs your wrist, tears starting to pool in his eyes. He opens his mouth to say something but you cut him off. “No. No. You don’t get to do this. It’s over. You put on quite a show, but I can’t say it was very entertaining. This curtain fucking closes right now, show is over. You can act like you care, but I know by now that you don’t,” you tell him, ripping your arm out of his grip.

You walk over to the front door, keeping your head high. Now is not the time to break down, your time will come. You hear Tyson behind you, muttering how sorry he is, excuse after excuse leave his mouth. You open the door, turning around one last time to look at Tyson. “Don’t tell me you’re sorry, ‘cause you’re not,” you say while shaking your head. You close the door behind you, not looking back at what you’ve left behind, only looking forward to what’s yet to come.

It’s when you’re in your car mindlessly driving around when you realize you have nowhere to go. You forgot to call Gabe, and it’s probably way too late now. You quickly check the time, 2am, shit that’s late. You doubt he’s still awake, you feel bad for even thinking about waking him up. Two young children, both of them under the age of 2, and being a professional hockey player probably cost him enough energy already, you don’t need to add to that. “He did say I could always call him when I made my decision,” you say out loud, more to convince yourself that it’s okay than anything else.

You easily find Gabe’s contact, immediately pressing the dial button before you change your mind again. The line only rings twice before Gabe picks up. “I’m guessing you either finally broke up with him or there’s a fire somewhere,” Gabe says from the other side of the line. You chuckle, shaking your head. “And since you’re calling me and not the fire department, my guess is on the first one,” Gabe continues, trying to make you smile some more.

“I did it, I broke up with him, couldn’t stand to be there any second longer,” you sigh, brushing your fingers through your hair.

You hear Gabe’s sigh of relief. “I’m proud of you, y/n. I know this isn’t what you had in mind, but it’s better like this, I promise.”

Gabe turned into one of your best friends over time, Melissa is the older sister you never had and you love their children like they’re your own. Gabe and Melissa welcomed you into their family immediately after meeting you. You hadn’t expected to make friends and you definitely didn’t expect to make friends with the captain and his wife, but you’re so grateful you did. The support you receive from them is overwhelming, you couldn’t wish for better friends. So when Gabe first made you this offer, you were thankful he did, although you were still convinced at that point that Tyson would change.

“Uhm, you know.. that offer you made me? Is that still on the table?” you ask, praying he’ll say ‘yes’, praying you don’t have to sleep in some random hotel tonight.

“Of course, the guestroom is already prepared. Melissa expects you to be here as soon as possible, apparently she ‘really needs to cuddle her little sister’,” Gabe chuckles, you can almost hear him rolling his eyes at his wife.

“Thank you, Gabe. I owe you,” you say softly.

“You don’t. You’re family, y/n,” Gabe says, and you know he means every word he just said. Family. “Now get your ass over here, before Melissa starts a search party,” Gabe chuckles, making you laugh some more, because you know she would. You quickly say your goodbyes, promising you’ll be there in a few minutes. It’s just a short drive from your apartment, or Tyson’s apartment now, to Gabe and Mel’s place.

You kept up your appearance, keeping the tears at bay, but the moment you step out of your car and into Gabe’s arms you’re done. “Come here, I’m so sorry,” Gabe says softly, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your back.

You stand there for a few minutes, simply crying on your best friend’s shoulder, until Melissa squeezes herself between the two of you. “Hush, I need some sister time. Why don’t you grab her stuff?” she says, smiling sweetly at her husband.

Gabe sighs dramatically, sending a wink your way. “Whatever you say, wife.”

Melissa pulls you close to her, an arm around your waist, her head resting on your shoulder. “Come on, I’ll show you your room,” she softly says, leading you into the house. You’ve been here so many times already, but never like this. You’ve never been in a situation like this before, you’re not sure how to handle this. “I can hear the wheels turning in your head. It will be okay,” Melissa says, rubbing your arm soothingly. You sigh, shrugging your shoulders, not sure what to say.

Melissa leads you to your room, pushing you down on the bed, while she takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “I know you’re probably exhausted, but do you want to talk?” Melissa asks softly, her face showing nothing but compassion.

You lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about all that has happened. “I don’t even know what to say, Mel. I don’t even know how I feel right now. I’m just so...” you trail off, not knowing the right words to describe everything that you feel and think right now.

“Confused, relieved, mad?”

You sit back up, looking back at Melissa. “All of the above, I guess? It hurts, but I’m glad I did it. But I also regret it, because I love him, you know? I’m mad he didn’t try harder for me, for us,” you say, trying hard to keep the rush of tears away.

Melissa wraps her arms around you, pulling you close to her. “I know, sweetheart. It will take time, but you’re going to be okay.”

You sigh, knowing she’s right, even though it probably will take more time than just ‘some time’. You did just end a long relationship, it will take a lot of patience and time to work through that. “Thank you, Mel. For letting me stay here,” you mumble against Melissa’s shoulder.

“No need for that. You’re my sister, remember?” Melissa smiles at you.

Gabe softly knocks on the door before opening the door. “Brought your bags, thought you might need them before you go to sleep,” he says, smiling at the sight before him. Your friendship might be unconventional, but he couldn’t care less what other people think about it. Gabe absolutely adores the sister bond you and Mel share, he hoped the two of you would get along, so this? Picture perfect.

“Thanks, Gabe,” you smile at him.

“Do you mind if I steal my wife from you?” Gabe asks, making you and Melissa laugh out loud.

“Nope, she’s all yours,” you chuckle, waving at their retreating backs when they walk out of the room.

You strip out of your clothes, pulling on a sweater. You sigh, realizing you packed some of Tyson’s sweaters out of habit. His smell infiltrates your senses, making it damn hard to keep your emotions under control. It’s right this moment you know exactly how you feel. Heartbroken. The realization that your relationship with Tyson is really over doesn’t give you the satisfaction you hoped for, it doesn’t give you peace, it just fucking hurts. You simply feel hollow, even though deep down you know this was the right choice, this was what needed to happen. You know damn well why you feel so empty, you gave your heart to Tyson a long, long time ago, never expecting to be in a situation you might get it back. You don’t want it back, but you might need it back.

You realize it’s morning when the light softly shines into your room. You sigh, knowing damn well you’re lucky if you slept more than an hour this night. Rolling over you look at the clock on the wall, 9 am, perfect. Deciding it won’t do you any good if you stay in bed any longer, you force yourself out of bed and into the shower. The hot water warms your cold skin, soothing your sore muscles. All the twisting and turning you did all night surely didn’t help the way you feel right now. Why couldn’t life be a bit easier by simply letting the shower wash away all of your hurt, all of your pain? A fresh start, a clean slate.

You slip on some skinny jeans and a soft sweater, not in the mood to even think about doing your makeup. You dry your hair, before making a quick ponytail out of it. You walk down stairs, the chatter and laughter greeting you as soon as you walk into the kitchen. “Morning, guys,” you say, smiling at all the happy faces before you. A round of greetings sound throughout the room.

“How’d you sleep?” Gabe asks you as soon as you sit down next to him with a bowl of cereal.

“Can’t even tell you, suddenly it was 9 am,” you chuckle, shrugging your shoulders at Gabe’s raised eyebrow. “Do you have any idea where my phone is?” you ask Gabe, knowing he grabbed all your stuff out of your car.

“Uhh, I do, but I don’t know if you really want to look at it,” Gabe says, scratching the back of his head before pointing towards the kitchen counter. It’s your turn to raise your eyebrows, walking over to where Gabe’s pointing at.

You unlock your phone, quickly checking your notifications. “Oh damn,” you mutter, looking at the absurd amount of missed calls and messages left by none other than Tyson himself.

You sit back down next to Gabe, dropping your head on your arms. “What do I do now, Gabe?” you groan. “Why does he care all of the sudden?”

Gabe rubs his hand over your back before answering your question. “Because he lost you, y/n. He never thought he would.” You turn your head towards Gabe letting his words sink in.

Gabe gets ready to leave for practice shortly after you settle on the couch with Lucas in your arms. The little man has a fascination with your hair, maybe it’s all babies who have that, but you like to think that you’re special. “Don’t pull out all y/n’s hair, baby boy,” Gabe chuckles, giving his boy a soft kiss on his head. He gives you a kiss on your cheek, softly squeezing your shoulder. You open your mouth to say something, but Gabe cuts you off. “I know what you’re thinking. Don’t worry about it, I’m his captain, but I’m your friend, okay? Just relax, make sure Lucas doesn’t puke on you and go do whatever it is that you women do all day,” Gabe chuckles, knowing you better than you know yourself. You mouth a quick ‘thank you’ to him, wishing him good luck with practice before he runs through the house trying to find his girls to kiss them goodbye.

“Your daddy is a good guy, you know that, Lucas?” you smile at the baby on your lap. Lucas coos, his hands grabbing onto the strands of your hair. “Your daddy and mommy make me feel so loved, even though their children like to see me in pain,” you joke, trying to free your hair from Lucas’s small hands. “Buddy, you’re way stronger than you look,” you mumble, when Lucas pulls on your hair again.

Melissa laughs out loud the moment she walks into the living room. “How many times did I tell you that you need to keep your hair away from him and his grabby hands?” she says, expertly freeing your hair from her son’s fists.

“Apparently not enough times,” you chuckle at her. Melissa joins you on the couch, while Linnea Rae plays on the ground with some of her toys, happily showing you what she got every now and then. It’s times like this that you’re extra grateful for Melissa and Gabe, the way they welcomed you into their family has been nothing but perfect.

“So, what’s going through that pretty head of yours?” Melissa asks, while scrolling through series to watch on Netflix.

You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know, I’m kind of worried about practice, I think? I don’t want to put Gabe in this position,” you say, keeping your eyes on Lucas.

“You know Gabe would do anything for you, huh? You don’t know how many times he came home utterly frustrated by the way Tyson treated you. He never said anything, because you were still with him, I can’t promise you he will stay quiet this time,” Melissa says, squeezing your shoulder. “He’ll be fine, this isn’t Gabe’s first rodeo.”

You look at Melissa, who simply gives you a wink. “I know, I know. I just don’t want him to get in trouble or anything,” you say, smiling back at her. You trust and know Gabe, so hopefully there won’t be a lot of trouble today.

“If he does though, he probably deserves it.”

Gabe surprises you all with some takeaway when he gets home from practice. It’s been nice eating with other people for change, it’s been way too long. The amount of lonely dinners has been through the roof lately. Gabe nudges you with his elbow, causing you to look up at him. “No frowning at the table.”

Melissa rolls her eyes at her husband while you just stick out your tongue at him. “Sure, dad,” you say, causing Melissa to almost choke on her bite of food before she lets out a loud laugh.

“Yeah, dad. Leave us alone,” Melissa laughs, winking at her husband. Gabe shakes his head at you and Melissa, a grin plastered on his face.

It’s during dessert you find the courage to ask about Tyson. You weren’t sure if you needed to ask Gabe, you weren’t even sure if you wanted to know anything, but now you know you do. “So, did anything happen during practice?” you ask him, playing around with your spoon.

Gabe shakes his head, giving you a small smile. “Not much, just some chirping. Told him I’m his captain and he needs to fucking focus on practice. That seemed to do the trick,” Gabe says, shrugging his shoulders, continuing to eat his dessert.

You look across the table at Melissa who has the same expression on her face as you. Not convincing at all. ‘Sure,’ Melissa mouths at you from across the table. You shake your head at her, furrowing your eyebrows at Gabe’s statement. ‘Nope,’ you mouth back at her, finishing your dessert. You decide to let it go, you don’t even know why you care so much. You shouldn’t, right? You broke things off with Tyson, so why do you care so much what he does and thinks? The answer to that question is pretty simple the longer you think about it. Because you still love him, that’s why.

You thank everyone for dinner and dessert, promising to cook something from them later this week. Right now all you can think about is your bed and a decent night of sleep. God, that sounds like a true dream right now. You strip out of your clothes, crawling into the soft and cozy bed. It doesn’t take long before you fall asleep, showing just how exhausted you truly are.

The weeks that follow are filled with all kinds of activities, the 5 of you falling back into a comfortable rhythm, surprising you considering the situation you’re in. It isn’t every day you take in the ex-girlfriend of one of your teammates, or your best friend, whatever way you want to see things. When you aren’t working you spend a lot of time with the kids, trying to make things easier for Melissa and Gabe whenever they are busy or simply need some time for the two of them. You happily take on some of their care, even if it’s as simple as making sure they get their food in time. Honestly they are two of the sweetest children you’ve ever come across, they always find ways to make you laugh, even though most of the time it isn’t on purpose.

It’s been quiet around the house tonight, Melissa went out with a few of her friends, while she left Gabe and the kids with you. Apparently she needed some ‘alone time’ which didn’t include kids, and definitely didn’t include Gabe after he mentioned he wanted some ‘alone time’ with her as well. You love their friendly bickering, the love they have for each other visible in everything they do. So when Melissa gave her husband a dirty look and flipped him the bird the only logical thing to do was to start laughing at their exchange. “Have fun with them, sweetheart!” Melissa had yelled at you when she walked through the door, leaving the four of you behind.

Together you decide to just have a movie night. It’s late enough for both children to be asleep already, yet early enough to squeeze in a full size movie marathon. “Gladiatorrrrr!” Gabe exclaims excitedly while scrolling through the movie selection on Netflix, pausing on his all-time favorite movie.

You groan, covering your face with your hands. “Please no, have mercy, Gabe,” you laugh, knowing damn well you’re going to sit through this movie again. How many times has it been already? 12? You wouldn’t even be surprised. This dude really loves his movie. You look at Gabe from between your fingers, seeing the look on his face which makes you groan even more. “Fineeee, one more time, Gabe. One more time,” you whine at him, secretly enjoying his taste in movies, something you don’t plan on telling him ever.

It’s a little after 10pm when the doorbell rings. You look at Gabe, who looks just as surprised as you are. “It’s a bit early for Mel, don’t you think?” Gabe asks, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Definitely, unless she drank the whole bottle of champagne again,” you chuckle, thinking back at one of the craziest parties you’ve ever been to with Mel and Gabe.

“Oh God, please don’t remind me of that,” Gabe shudders at the memory of that night, standing up to see who’s on the other side of the door.

Gabe hates to say that he isn’t surprised to see Tyson’s face as soon as he opens the door. Honestly he had expected him at his door days, maybe even weeks ago. The moment Tyson found out you were staying with Gabe he broke, Gabe expected him to fight, to yell, to scream, he expected him to do anything except cry. Which is exactly what Tyson did, breaking down in the middle of practice. For a moment the whole place went quiet, only Tyson’s cries echoing throughout the building. No one knew how to act, no one knew what to do, until Gabe realized he’s the captain for a reason. On and off the ice. It was a weird experience, one Gabe still feels extremely conflicted about. He comforted his teammate, his friend, while his other friend was at his home, utterly heartbroken, trying to get over the guy who was bawling his eyes out on the ice.

After Tyson got over the initial shock the anger took over, just as Gabe expected. It made him almost drop the gloves, something he tried to avoid, not wanting to hurt Tyson. He let him say his things, things that absolutely didn’t make any sense, until he got everything out of his system. “Now can we continue this fucking practice, Jost?” Gabe told him after everything calmed down. Gabe tried to avoid the Tyson/y/n topic as much as possible after that, not wanting to get in the middle of things more than he already was. Until tonight apparently.

Gabe raises an eyebrow at the boy before him. “Why are you here, Tyson?” Gabe sighs, already knowing the answer to that question.

Tyson looks around, eyes flickering from left to right, clearly uncomfortable being here. “I, uh, can I talk to y/n? I know she’s here,” Tyson asks, scratching the back of his head before putting them back in his pockets.

Gabe shakes his head at him. “You can’t, if she wants to talk to you she will find a way to contact you. As long as you don’t get your shit together and prove to me, but most of all to her, that you’ve changed, I won’t let you anywhere near her,” Gabe declares, starting to get annoyed with the way Tyson acts. There’s no way he lets him close to you until you feel like you’re ready to see him again, no way.

Tyson opens his mouth, but Gabe gives him a look that immediately shuts him up again. “I’m saying this as your captain, and definitely not as your friend right now. Go home and leave her the fuck alone. You had your chance, you fucked up and now you have to deal with the consequences. How you deal with those said consequences is up to you, but I suggest you leave now and think about everything you did and didn’t do, okay?” Tyson nods his head, turning around to walk back to his car.

When he’s a few steps away from his car he turns around, smiling sadly at Gabe. “She’s my home, Gabe. Home doesn’t feel the same without her. You out of all people should understand that.”

Gabe chuckles low, shaking his head at his clueless teammate. “I do. I do know what home feels like, but I never, never choose anyone or anything over my ‘home’. Never. You sure as hell did, time after time,” Gabe says frustratedly, before shutting the door, leaving behind an even more frustrated Tyson.

You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but you caught the sound of Tyson’s voice when you walked to the kitchen, grabbing some more popcorn. You didn’t mean to listen to their conversation, but it felt like you were glued to your place, unable to take another step, unable to do anything but listen.

Gabe walks back into the room, the look on your face immediately letting him know you know. “How much did you hear?” he asks softly, approaching you slowly.

“Enough,” you whisper, before breaking down, no longer able to keep the tears locked away, no longer able to keep your emotions to yourself.

With two steps Gabe is in front of you, grabbing the bowl of popcorn you held onto between your trembling fingers. He guides you back to the couch, urging you to sit down, which is a true challenge for someone who can barely feel the ground they walk on. Gabe wraps his arms around you the moment you sit down, allowing you to cry onto his shoulder as much as you want and need. He whispers sweet nothings while softly brushing your hair out of your face, making sure you have room to breath. Time after time Gabe proves what kind of friend he is, always making sure to be there for you when he’s needed, always doing things with the best intentions. Even if it’s just holding you until you calm down, even if it’s just speaking the truth against Tyson, even if it’s just simply being there for one another.

“Sooner or later he would’ve realized what he lost, what he gave up for an evening of clubbing or God knows what. Apparently it’s sooner rather than later, however make sure you make him work for it, if you ever decide you want to give the two of you another chance,” Gabe softly advises you, when you finally calmed down a bit.

“I will, you know I love him, Gabe. But I don’t know if I should?” you mumble, not sure if it’s a question Gabe has the answer to.

“Sometimes the heart wants what it wants. If he’s serious about you, he will work his ass off to earn back your love and trust, I promise you,” Gabe comforts you, after knowing Tyson for so long he’s positive he knows that Tyson goes above and beyond to get what he wants in life.

Maybe it’s Gabe’s comforting words, maybe it’s knowing deep down Tyson still cares, maybe it’s your own strength, but for the first time in a while you feel a tiny flicker of hope, a little bit of light at the end of the dark tunnel. Maybe, just maybe this was all worth it, maybe this is what needed to happen to get better and move forward. Maybe this is how it was supposed to go.

It’s a weird feeling, knowing your ex still cares about you, but also knowing you aren’t ready to let him back into your life like that. You don’t feel like you’re capable of seeing him yet, let alone talk to him. The need to know how he’s doing, how he’s holding up grows, but also confuses you. It’s simply a weird and confusing situation to be in. Choosing between two, maybe even more ways to handle this, while also waiting for Tyson to make a move, which he obviously can’t since you don’t want to see him or speak to him, is a hard task. A task that will require a lot of thinking. You just need a bit more time to gather your thoughts, give all of your confusing feelings a place, while making sure you put yourself first, you need to put yourself first this time.

So when Gabe invites you to one of his home games a few weeks later you say ‘yes’ right away. It seems like the perfect time and place to see Tyson from a distance again, without putting too much stress on yourself, you can just watch and enjoy the game, you don’t have to force anything. Of course your seats turned out to be way closer to the ice than you expected them to be, although... what did you exactly expect with Gabe? You know he’s been talking to both of you, kind of acting like some sort of messenger. He tried to keep it casual, just slipping in some information during a conversation, but you noticed what he was trying to do. Frankly you’re thankful for his meddling.

Steadily your heart starts to beat faster and faster the more players appear on the ice to warm up. When Gabe appears you aren’t surprised to see Tyson close to him, knowing Gabe they probably had a little chat before they went on the ice. Tyson’s eyes shoot to yours the moment he’s close by, completely forgetting the ability to skate. You gasp when he lands on his ass on the ice, earning himself a round of laughter from the people around him, including Melissa and you. Gabe skates over to him, extending his hand and helping him upright again, but not before clearly telling him he’s ‘a dumbass’. Now that’s something you can agree on.

You know Tyson has something up his sleeve when he skates off to the bench, clearly busying himself with something you can’t see. After a few more stolen glances at each other Tyson skates closer and closer to you, until he’s right in front of the glass. His left hand catches your attention, until he gives you a small and almost shy smile. “Look at him, he’s blushing!” Melissa whispers next to you. You shoot her a quick ‘shut up’ look, before you focus your attention back on Tyson.

Tyson shows you the puck in his gloved hand, mouthing to you to catch it. It takes him two tries before the puck lands on the other side of the glass, safely in your hands. Tyson gives you one last quick smile before he skates off to get ready for the game. Melissa nudges you softly, bringing you back from your thoughts. “So, what’s on there?” she asks, knowing damn well you haven’t even checked.

“I don’t know if I want to look, Mel,” you tell her honestly. Melissa gives you a sad smile, throwing her arm around your shoulders.

“Let’s look together?” she suggests. You don’t know why you’re so nervous, how much can you actually write on a puck? He seemed happy to see you, so there’s no need to be nervous that it’s a bad thing. You look at the puck, turning it around in your hands so you can read the whole thing. ‘Talk after the game?’ is written on the puck, you immediately recognize Tyson’s handwriting and his little smiley face, or.. something that should resemble a smiley face.

“That wasn’t that bad, right?” Melissa asks softly, squeezing your shoulder.

“What if I’m not ready?” you ask her, a question that has been on your mind a lot lately.

“Then you take a step back, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, you don’t have any obligations. But he’s trying, y/n. You’ve heard all of Gabe’s stories, you’ve seen it yourself just now. It can’t hurt to at least talk to him.” You think about Melissa’s words, she does have a point there. Talking is something you should’ve done ages ago, or at least Tyson should’ve done that. So this is progress, he’s at least trying this time, that’s more than he used to do.

It’s hard to keep the smile off your face, you can’t even pinpoint why exactly you’re smiling. Whatever the reason is, it’s a good feeling to smile again. The game sure as hell plays a big part in it, the guys are on fire, scoring goal after goal, never giving the puck away for long. There’s barely any time for you to give Tyson a thumbs up, indicating you’re up for a talk after the game. Whenever you look at Tyson when he’s off the ice he’s smiling, whether it is to himself or to one of his teammates, that smile won’t leave his face.

You follow Melissa down to the locker room after the game is over. You’ve done this so many times, but this time it couldn’t be more different. You greet all the girls who are patiently waiting on their man, getting enough comforting words from them to last you a lifetime. When the door to the locker room opens you come face-to-face with Mikko, someone you haven’t seen in a while. Mikko’s face lights up when he spots you outside the locker room. “y/n! I haven’t seen you in so long,” he says, while hugging you tightly.

“I missed you too, goof. It’s great to see you,” you smile at him, wiggling out of his iron grip. Dude’s definitely stronger than he looks.

“Between you and me, Tyson’s a good kid, he just needed to grow up a bit,” Mikko whispers against your ear, before leaving you alone again.

You raise your eyebrow at Melissa, who just shrugs her shoulders. Weird. After a few more minutes Gabe and Tyson appear in front of you, both of them joking around. Tyson nervously looks around, not sure if he should come any closer. Gabe hugs you swiftly before throwing his arm around his wife’s shoulders. “Make sure you bring her home safely, Jost,” Gabe warns him, before quickly saying goodbye to both of you.

You watch them leave, your mouth agape by the way they just left you here. Rude. “Did they just really do that?” you ask no one in particular, still shocked by their actions.

You turn around, looking back at Tyson, who still appears to be nervous. Is he nervous to talk to you? Why would he be nervous? It’s just you. “Hi there,” you smile, looking up at the man in front of you.

“Hi beautiful, it was nice seeing you tonight,” Tyson softly says, giving you a small smile.

Your insides flutter with his use of words, it’s nice hearing them even though you’re not completely sure if he means them the way you hope he does. “It was. You played great, I had a lot of fun,” you say, smiling at the proud look that crosses Tyson’s face for a moment.

Tyson leads you back to the rink, which is now completely deserted, thinking it would be a nice place to chat. For a while the two of you fall back into small talk, ‘how’s life?’, ‘how’s work?’, all that bullshit. You know Tyson and you are avoiding the actual topic that needs to be discussed, or topics? Whatever it is, there’s a lot to talk about. “I missed it here, I forgot how much I loved being here,” you tell Tyson, looking at the lights that lighten up the place, thinking back at the memories full of fun and happiness you both created here.

“I missed you, baby,” Tyson blurts out, completely catching you off guard.

Your eyes shoot back to his, you feel the panic rising inside your body. “Tyson...,” you start, warning him he’s walking on thin ice here.

Tyson’s face falls a bit, seeing the anxious look on your face. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Tyson groans, rubbing his face harshly, utterly frustrated with himself and the situation.

It’s quiet for a minute, both of you completely lost in thoughts. “Why is this so hard? We used to be able to talk about anything and everything. What changed, y/n?” Tyson wonders out loud.

You feel a painful pang in your heart, because you know damn well what changed. “You did, Tyson. You changed,” you almost whisper, the truth behind those words more clear than ever before.

You watch as Tyson’s whole composure changes in the blink of an eye, in just a split second he goes from the ‘happy’ guy to the guy who’s just as heartbroken as you are. “I did, didn’t I?” Tyson whispers, the tears pooling in his eyes. “I fucked this up, how could I be so stupid?” he mumbles, burying in face in his hands. “I’m so sorry, I regret this more than I could ever admit to you. I’m so sorry, baby,” Tyson cries, trying to keep his eyes focused on you. It’s hard to keep your own tears at bay when the guy you love so much has a breakdown in front of you, so you don’t. You just let them fall.

You don’t make a move to comfort him, you do give him room to let it all out, give him time to gather his composure again. “I looked through the box, the one you left on our bed?” Tyson says, his voice still broken, still thick with emotion. You nod your head, it was something you hoped he would do. “I had no idea you kept all of that throughout the years,” Tyson smiles weakly at you. “It made me realize what a moron I have been these past few months, maybe even longer,” he continues, shaking his head in disappointment. You listen intently at him, this, this is what you hoped for all this time: realization.

“I’m not telling you that you weren’t a moron, because you absolutely were. But I’m glad you came to the same conclusion.”

Tyson chuckles at your statement, giving you half a smile. “I know, I’m a dumbass. I’m a dumbass for acting this way and a dumbass for letting you go. Any guy would be on top of the world with you by his side, and I just let you slip through my fingers,” Tyson tells you, finally showing he knows he’s been a fool all this time, he knows he let something special go.

“Is it too late for us? Can you give us another chance?” Tysons asks you, his eyes flickering between you and the ground.

You sigh softly, knowing this question would come. It’s something you gave a lot of thought, something that crossed your mind daily. “I don’t know, Tyson. I really don’t know. You really fucking hurt me, you know? I can’t just look past that, I need to heal from that,” you tell him. Tyson nods his head, a guilty expression on his face. “You made me feel worthless every single day. You didn’t even give me a second of your time day after day. All you cared about was being away. Being away from me?”

It’s right that moment Tyson interrupts you by grabbing your hands. “No. No. That’s not true, you need to believe me,” he tells you as fast as he can.

“But how can I believe you when you never gave me a reason to? Your actions showed me exactly that, Tyson. I need answers, I need to know why,” you exclaim, starting to panic again, your anxiety taking over.

“Easy, baby. I’ll tell you everything you want to know, everything you want, but right now I need you to breath. Breathe, baby,” Tyson says softly, trying to calm your shallow breathing back down to normal. “Listen to my breathing, try to follow the way I breathe.” You do as he says, following the rise and fall of his chest, gaining back control of your own breathing.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, while Tyson just shakes his head at you, letting you know it’s okay. “Can you take me home, Ty? We can talk later, okay?” you ask him, suddenly feeling the need to crawl underneath the covers of your bed and just simply sleep for a while.

“Anything you want, y/n,” Tyson says, leading you out of the room and back to his car. You’re pretty sure he mumbled something under his breath, something very closely resembling ‘your home isn’t there, it’s with me’.

The drive to Gabe takes longer than expected, giving you more time to think about Tyson’s earlier question. You still need and want to know how he spent his nights, where he spent his nights, and why he acted like you didn’t exist. That conversation might need to wait until another day, you aren’t up for any more information, any more realizations, you still need to process everything you heard, saw and felt today.

Tyson stops the car in front of Gabe’s house, looking back at you with hopeful eyes. You know he still hopes he gets an answer to his earlier question, and you want to give him at least that. “You need to show me you changed, Tyson. Show me you changed for real and I’ll try to get past everything that happened. I can’t promise you anything,” you tell him softly, meaning everything you just said.

Tyson nods his head, a smile of relief on his lips. “I will, I promise you I will show you I changed and that you’re everything to me. I promise, baby.”

So that’s exactly what Tyson does the next few weeks, every free moment he tries to show you just how much you mean to him, without smothering you. Whether it’s taking you out for dinner, although you’re still waiting for Tyson to actually make you dinner by himself one day, to small coffee dates and fresh flowers at work. It’s been a lot to process, a lot of adjusting to this ‘new’ Tyson, or rather seeing the ‘old’ Tyson again. And you missed him, God you missed him so much.

Tyson seems happier, more at peace with himself these days, it’s a pleasant change. Often you wondered what was really going on inside his head, but you stopped trying after he waved it off again, and again, and again. The late night phone calls, or facetiming during road trips have become a habit again, something you didn’t think you would ever experience again with him. You still take things slow with Tyson, deciding to rather allow yourself to slowly start trusting him again than diving head first into a relationship again. Maybe it will never come that far again, you don’t know how the future will look like for the two of you, but for now it’s enough.

You come face-to-face with a smirking Melissa when you get home from yet another ‘iced coffee and donut’ date, even though you’re pretty sure Tyson isn’t allowed to eat any donuts. “Oh no,” you groan at Melissa’s expression.

“It’s time we have a little sister-sister conversation, don’t you think?” she asks you, ushering you into the living room.

“Do we?” you groan again, not in the mood to handle whatever Melissa wants to talk about now, because you already know it’s either about you, Tyson or you and Tyson.

Melissa flops down on the couch, patting the place next to her, indicating for you to sit your ass down. “Did you already talk to him about it?” she asks, straight to point in pure Melissa-style.

You let your head fall back against the cushions, sighing loudly. “I didn’t. We’re doing great, we’re having fun. I’m going to ruin it if I start asking questions again.”

Melissa stays quiet for a minute, trying to figure out the right way to approach this sensitive topic. “You know you deserve the truth, right? You can’t rebuild a relationship when not everything’s on the table, sweetheart,” Melissa says softly, knowing you’re struggling with this.

“I promise I’ll talk to him after the road trip, I don’t want to create any unnecessary negative energy before,” you promise Melissa, although she gives you a ‘who are you trying to fool here’ look before switching topics.

A few days later you find yourself back at Tyson’s place. It’s weird being here, knowing you don’t live here anymore. Nothing changed, absolutely nothing, Tyson kept everything the way you did, whether it’s out of laziness or out of hope you’ll come back on day. Either way it’s weird coming back to a place that’s no longer your home. You came here to talk, nothing more nothing less. You promised Mel you would, and if you’re being honest with yourself it’s time to know the truth, time to reopen old wounds and finally get some answers. You’ve grown closer and closer to Tyson, without knowing everything, without knowing you’d be able to forgive him if he ever made a misstep. It’s time.

Tyson has been a nervous wreck ever since you called him last night after he returned from the road trip to St. Louis. He knew this was coming, but he prayed you would simply forget, even though he knows that’s not fair at all. He can’t excuse his behavior, and he won’t, not anymore. You deserve nothing but the truth, the full truth. He’s not proud of it, but you leaving him opened his eyes, showed him he really needed to change. Tyson feels like that’s something he truly did, he changed for the better, he can only hope you’ll feel the same way. He can only hope you’re still on the same path after tonight.

“You did great these last games, Ty,” you smile at him. You’re proud of the way he’s been performing these last couple of games, he really stepped up his game.

“I know you didn’t come here to talk about my performances on the ice, so can we please skip the pleasantries?” Tyson sighs, catching you completely off guard with his rather harsh approach. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way, I’ve just been so fucking nervous since you called me,” Tyson curses, frustratedly brushing his fingers through his curls.

“You’re right though, I did come to talk. I think it’s time we lay all our cards on the table,” you tell him, nodding at your own answer.

You nervously bite on your lip, playing with the cup of water in your hand. It isn’t every day you ask your ex these questions. Questions you want the answers to, question you maybe don’t even want to hear the answers of. “I need to know if you cheated on me, Ty,” you blurt out, keeping your eyes on the ground, not wanting to see the look on Tyson’s face.

“Look at me, baby,” Tyson says, urging you to look up at him. “I never cheated on you, I wouldn’t do that to you. I promise.”

You shake your head at him, not knowing what to do with these emotions surging through your body. “It doesn’t make sense, Ty. Where were you all those nights? Where were you every time I lay in bed alone waiting for my boyfriend to come home? Waiting if he actually comes home this time or stays out all night again? Where were you?” At this point you’re past the civil conversations, past the friendly banter, you need answers, you need to know why he did what he did. The reason doesn’t even matter at this point, you need to know why. Why did he leave you alone so many nights, worrying about his well being, worrying about if he would come home at some point?

“Fuck, y/n! I know I fucked up, I know I did. But I swear on everything, I swear on my career, I swear on you that I never, never, touched another woman. I never kissed another woman, I never even danced with another woman, I did not cheat on you,” Tyson exclaims, hoping, praying you hear what he’s saying, that you’ll believe him. He didn’t do anything with another person, it was always you, it still is only you and he’ll do everything in his power to prove that to you every damn day.

“Then where were you, Ty? If you weren’t with another woman, then where the fuck were you every night you didn’t came home? Please enlighten me, because I’m so lost, so fucking lost,” you say, feeling utterly frustrated with yourself, with Tyson, with this shitty situation.

Tyson takes a deep breath, placing his cup back on the table. “Shitfaced drunk to the point I couldn’t even remember my own name, or so stoned I saw freaking elephants running all around town. Spending my money on unnecessary shit at clubs and bars, all to forget, trying to forget the fact that I had a perfect girlfriend waiting for me at home, while I did stupid shit. Fuck, this sounds even worse out loud than in my head,” Tyson groans, burying his face in his hands.

“But...,” you start, before Tyson cuts you off.

“I felt ashamed and guilty, y/n. Ashamed I let it get that far every time, guilty I didn’t tell you, guilty I didn’t come home again. One of the guys would just take me back to their place out of sympathy, letting me crash on their couch, trying to sleep off my haze.”

You try to come up with words to say, with anything but nothing comes out, you just feel.. empty? “I don’t understand, Tyson,” you say, at this point not even sure what you don’t understand.

“I tried, y/n. I tried to just come clean, but I couldn’t when you were so nice all the time, I couldn’t when I knew you would hate it, hate me. You know I’m a fucking lightweight, that makes it even worse. But those are no excuses, there aren’t any. I fucked up,” Tyson sighs, giving you a sad smile, “I couldn’t face you, I didn’t know how to show you my vulnerable side without letting it change the way you saw me. I didn’t want you to see me any different, but I didn’t notice I changed until you packed your bags and left me standing in the doorway.”

You’re absolutely speechless, there are so many things you want to say but you can’t form any sentences, any words. You just stare at him, your mind racing with an unlimited amount of thoughts. “Are you okay, baby?” Tyson asks softly, reaching out to put his hand on your arm.

You shake your head from side to side, wiping away the tears that spilled out. “I’m not okay, I’m definitely not okay,” you tell him. “I feel terrible knowing you didn’t feel like you could come to me, like you couldn’t talk to me. I’ve always been your biggest supporter, nothing would’ve changed that, Ty.”

Tyson gently wipes the tears away from underneath your eyes, scooting closer to where you’re seated. “Come here, baby,” he softly says, opening his arms for you. You hesitate for a second, not knowing if this is the right thing to do. Fuck the right thing, you definitely need a hug right now, and judging by Tyson’s facial expression he needs one as well. You lean forward, putting your arms around his neck, breathing in the familiar scent of his body. How long has it been since you hugged each other? You can’t even remember, way too long. Tyson closes his arms around you, pulling you as close as possible to his own body.

“I missed this, Ty. I missed you,” you confess, the feeling of his arms around you, the feeling of Tyson, bringing back so many memories, so many happier times.

“I know we still have a long way to go, but I hope we’ll do this together. I can’t even tell you how great it feels to have my arms around you again, even if it’s just for a moment,” Tyson says, after you both let go of each other.

“We do, but I’m in if you’re in, Ty,” you agree, wanting nothing more than to work through the issues you still have. It’s time to forgive, time to let go, time to change and time to move on.

“I’m all in.”

The talk you had with Tyson that Wednesday evening did wonders for the both of you. You still had a long way to go before you were even remotely close to where you used to be with Tyson, but the most important thing was that you were working on things. Slowly, but steadily the two of you worked on trusting each other again, telling each other important things again, just simply working on being in a healthy relationship again. Although the word never came up, you were nowhere near ready for that commitment, so you settled on something less intimidating. Friends.

It was supposed to be a regular, normal Friday evening with just Melissa and the kids. Gabe and Tyson were playing one of their most important games this season, both of them begged you to come, but it was too late to find a babysitter. Not wanting to be by yourself there and leaving Mel alone, you decided to sit this one out as well, promising to cheer them on in front of the tv. It’s the least you could do. So there you are, seated on the couch wearing your Jost jersey for the very first time again, just as you promised. Weird, like nothing ever changed, even though the exact opposite is true.

You’re bouncing a giggling Linnea Rae on your knee, looking down at her adorable mini jersey. “Look it’s your daddy!” you exclaim excitedly, pointing at the closeup shot of Gabe.

“Daddy!” Linnea Rae giggles just as excited.

You catch Mel softly smiling at your little interaction with her daughter, enjoying the love you share for each other. It’s been a blessing to have you around here, the way you care for her children, but also for her and her husband has been phenomenal. Mel couldn’t wish for a better friend, for a better sister than you.

“Oh no,” you whisper when Tyson gets slammed hard into the glass. Melissa grabs your hand, squeezing softly.

“He’s going to be fine, he’s a tough guy,” she says, trying her best to comfort you. And he is, like the tough guy Tyson is, he gets up again, shaking off the hard hit. The game continues and you’re glad Tyson is fine, skating like he didn’t just get squeezed between a glass wall and a 200 pound hockey player.

All goes well until Gabe decides the best place to smack his stick is directly against Tyson’s face, again. “Not his face, Gabe! Not his fucking face again!” you yell at the screen, thanking Mel for already putting the kids to sleep.

“Shit, that looks bad,” Melissa almost whispers, squeezing your hand again.

You don’t know many things for sure in life, but you sure as hell know Tyson will be spotting a black eye for weeks. But like the tough guy he already proved to be, he just goes on with the game, trying his absolute best to work as hard as he can, giving himself completely to the game, anything to get his team the victory.

“That’s the second time you gave my man a black eye, Gabe. Why do you keep hurting him?” you whine the second Gabe walks into the living room. For a moment the room stays awfully quiet, until you realize what you just said. “I really said that, huh?” you ask, fighting to keep the smile off your face.

“You sure did. But I’m sorry, it was an accident. Again,” Gabe chuckles, shrugging his shoulders.

“Uhu, again,” you say, rolling your eyes at your best friend.

Gabe grins at you, flopping down on the couch next to Mel. “I’ll try not to hurt his pretty face again, okay?” Gabe laughs, shaking his head at you in a playful way.

“Is it weird if I, you know.. went over to check up on him?” you ask your friends, suddenly insecure about the thought of just showing up at his door.

Gabe gives you a soft smile. “I’m absolutely convinced he’d love that, y/n,” Gabe says, pulling Melissa closer to him.

“I know he would, sis,” Melissa agrees with her husband.

“Fine, okay. I’ll be back in a few. Don’t enjoy yourself too much,” you tell the two lovebirds before finding your stuff and almost running out of the front door.

You’re giddy the entire drive to Tyson’s apartment. This could go two ways, either it goes extremely well or this backfires completely. You’re hoping for the first one. Seeing Tyson get hurt gave you some realizations. One of them is that you absolutely hate to see him hurt, and you want nothing more than to be there for him, care for him, to tell him everything will be alright. Which brings you to your second discovery of the evening: you still love him, you’re still completely and utterly in love with Tyson. You can’t, really can’t imagine your life without Tyson in it. It’s your turn to tell him you need him, tell him you don’t want to do anything without him, tell him you still see a future together.

You pick up his favorite comfort food on the way over, cake. You know his nutritionist will hate you for this, but he deserves a treat after taking a stick to the face. You chuckle to yourself when you think of the small cake you bought, it’s stupid and childish, but you love it. The fun you already had makes it absolutely worth it. You park in front of the building, hopping out of the car and quickly making your way over to the floor Tyson occupies.

You rummage around in your coat pocket for the lighter you bought alongside the cake. Quickly placing the cover back into the bag, and lighting up the ‘2’ shaped candle. You snicker to yourself, enjoying this way too much. You knock on the door and patiently wait for Tyson to open up. You hear Tyson approaching, making it harder and harder to keep your composure.

The moment he opens the door his face shifts from slight annoyance, to confused, to happy, and back to confused again. “y/n?” he asks softly, looking between you and the cake, confusion clearly written all over his face.

“Happy second black eye!” you yell, before bursting out in laughter.

Tyson can’t help but join you in your laughter, if there’s one thing he loves about you, it’s your wicked sense of humor. “You really are something special, aren’t you?” Tyson chuckles, shaking his head softly at you, a smile playing on his lips.

“You tell me, Jost,” you say, giving him a wink before walking past him and inside his apartment.

“So you bought me a cake?” Tyson asks you, looking over your shoulder to the cake on his kitchen counter.

“I sure did, thought you’d deserved a treat after what Gabe did to you, again,” you laugh.

“He sure likes to hit me in the face with things. But thank you, this really means a lot to me, baby,” Tyson softly says, squeezing your hip with one of his hands, before grabbing two plates. While Tyson cuts the cake you look for something to drink, deciding water will do for the night.

You flop down on the couch next to Tyson, immediately bringing the fork with a piece of cake to your mouth. “Oh God, that’s so good,” you moan out, you picked some killer cake.

“Don’t make those noises, please,” Tyson groans, stuffing his face with cake.

“I’m sorry I picked such a good freaking cake, mister,” you laugh, nudging him with your foot. Tyson rolls his eyes playfully at you, grabbing your foot with his free hand before you can nudge him again and again.

“Movie?” Tyson asks after you both finished your plates, although Tyson finished the last few bites of your piece. Like he said he’s a needy and hungry man.

“Sure, but just something light and funny, Ty. Nothing dark,” you tell him, knowing he’d love to scare you throughout some horror movie.

While Tyson scrolls through the movies, you make yourself more comfortable on the couch, laying back against the cushions with your feet against Tyson. He looks at you, scanning your body, clearly thinking about something since his eyebrows keep furrowing and relaxing.

“Come here, Tyson,” you softly say when he finally picks a movie to watch, opening your arms for him. His eyes shoot to yours, like he can’t actually believe you just told him that. He gives you a quick smile, before moving towards you, laying down beside you.

He rests his head against your chest, just like he used to do so long ago, his arm wrapped around your waist. “Is this okay?” he asks you, making sure you aren’t uncomfortable, even though you’re the one who suggested this.

“It’s perfect, Ty,” you reassure him.

Halfway through the movie you can’t resist the temptation to run your fingers through his curls any longer. Tyson groans softly when your nails rake over his scalp, sending chill through your body. “That’s so good, please never stop doing that,” he groans out, pulling you tighter against him.

“I wasn’t planning on it, Ty,” you tell him, smiling at the way his eyes shoot to yours.

“You aren’t? Are you serious?” he asks you quietly, eyes still locked on yours.

“I am, love. I came to the conclusion that you’re worth all the risks in life. You’re my light, my guiding light in darkness, my light at the end of the tunnel,” you say, leaving a soft kiss on his forehead. You try to express your emotions towards Tyson, trying to make him feel what you felt when you came to the sudden realization he’s worth taking a risk.

“What does that mean, baby?” Tyson asks you softly, an uncertain smile on his lips.

“It means I’m willing to give us another shot, another go. I want to try again, Ty.”

You can’t help the smile that forms on your lips when you look at Tyson’s face, the realization setting in, the happiness and the gratefulness spreading all over his face, the relief flooding through his body.

“How does that work?” Tyson asks again, clearly trying to rid himself of any insecurities, any questions he has. You gladly take those insecurities away from him.

“A clean slate, completely starting over again to give us both a fresh start. How does that sound?” you ask him.

Tyson nods at you, the happiness radiation off him. “A fresh start, I like the sound of that,” Tyson muses. The changes on his face fascinates you, it seems like he goes through a whole range of emotions in just a few minutes. Until he reaches one you know all too well, mischief. He looks at you, the familiar glimmer in his eyes tells you he’s definitely up to something. He sends you a soft and sweet smile, that almost melts you into a puddle right there and then. “Hi, I’m Tyson,” he says, extending his hand to you. You can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of you, this is exactly how Tyson is. Funny, charming, an absolute dream.

“You’re a goof, you know that?” you tell him, softly shaking your head at him, but the big grin on your face tells him you loved that. Tyson intertwined his fingers with yours, squeezing softly. When he doesn’t make any other moves you take matters into your own hand, slowly leaning in and softly pressing your lips on his. The familiarity, the rush of emotion flooding through your body hits you like a ton of bricks. The feeling of his lips against yours light something deep inside of you, and just like that you finally feel complete again.

#tyson jost #tyson jost imagine #tyson jost fic #tyson jost x reader #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #nhl fic #hockey fic #nhl fanfiction #hockey fanfiction #tyson jost fanfiction

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invisibleanonymousmonsters · 3 years

Text

All Men Have Limits - VI

Character: Dick Grayson x Reader x Bruce Wayne

Summary: A certain bat believes that Y/N is in way over her head, that she’s too naive to act in her best interest. So, whether she wants it or not, the vigilante family is going to help and protect her before she gets herself killed.

Word Count: 3,800+

Previously on…

“Nightwing! Regroup!” Bruce snapped into the comms again.

No matter how dire the situation was, they always stuck with their codenames while in uniform. But right now, Bruce wanted to scream at Dick to get his shit together.

Dick was quiet for a moment, allowing his family to only hear the roaring of his motorcycle as it zipped through the streets of Gotham.

“By the time we regroup, she’ll be dead,” Dick answered darkly.

This was the biggest difference between Dick and Bruce.

Dick wasn’t ruled by his emotions – except when it involved the safety of people he cared for and loved. When that happened, his emotions took control. It was very unlike Bruce, which just proved there were some things Dick simply couldn’t get trained out of him.

Bruce was always calm and collected – even when it was his kids that were in danger. Was he scared for Y/N’s life? Yes. But he also knew that panicking and going in hot was not going to help her. If anything, it would put more people in danger.

“Jason is following him,” Tim announced.

Jason might’ve refused to use comms, but they still had a tracker on his bike.

“What’s the plan?” Tim asked.

——————

Y/N probably looked like a drunk driver from the way she was serpentining to the heart of Gotham.

But she was tried to load a magazine into her gun as she ran every red light without getting t-boned by oncoming traffic.

It was…a lot. Especially since Y/N knew she were driving to her assassination.

It hadn’t been hard sneaking past the internal security at the manor. Y/N knew she could do it since she was brought there. But she decided to save that knowledge for the right time. And that was tonight. It was clearly designed mostly for Damian – or perhaps for any of the boys when they were younger and rebellious.

Then Y/N had to jumpstart the first car she saw parked on the street near Wayne Manor, which took longer than she had liked.

She might not have a lot of skills in the combat area. But she was rather resourceful in almost every other way – which included hijacking cars.

Y/N was so panicked about making it to the city before they could intervene, that her mind wasn’t really processing what was about to happen.

All Y/N knew was that she hoped they’d be done with it before any of them knew what was happening and could try to stop it.

She knew what they would’ve said. They would’ve told her to stay where she was and they would handle it. They would’ve done everything to keep her safe while also trying to save Gotham.

But Y/N couldn’t wait to see if she was responsible for the deaths of thousands while she sat on her ass and did nothing.

So she took her life into her own hands.

She gave enough information for them to use. Even if she was gone, she’d given them enough leads to finish the job without her.

Now her time was up.

Y/N knew eventually time would catch to her. She’d lived a far too risky life, threatened the most dangerous people, ruined the lives and locked up even more of dangerous people. It was only a matter of time before her luck ran out.

Y/N skidded the car to a stop. And she realized her hands were shaking as she threw the car into park.

She hadn’t stopped driving until she reached Old Gotham – right underneath the Clock Tower.

It was a nice, wealthy part of the city, which meant that there weren’t questionable people lingering on the streets.

In fact, it was eerily quiet – even for such a nice neighborhood. Y/N didn’t see a single person walking around in her vicinity.

But when she turned, there were five masked people watching her.

The Talons.

Their faces and bodies were completely covered, with their masks and goggles reminiscent of actual owls.

All of them had an arsenal of some sort of bladed weapon – countless knives, katanas, axes, or even broadswords. And, of course, they all had talons.

“So you are the irritant,” one of them greeted, his voice muffled from his gear.

Y/N took a step back as she grabbed her gun out of the back of her waist.

But she felt a presence behind her and whipped around to see more Talons surrounding her.

Did they really expect her to be able to put up that much of a fight?

“I’ve been called worse,” Y/N smirked.

She was clearly in denial that she was about to die.

They all unsheathed their weapons.

But Y/N wasn’t going to let them make the first move.

She started shooting bullets. Either they were wearing bullet-proof vests or they were blocking her bullets with their weapons. It was all happening so fast that she couldn’t figure it out. She knew her aim wasn’t off. Jason had been secretly teaching her how to shoot. And she’d gotten rather good with his help.

“Fuck,” Y/N hissed when her magazine was empty and she had failed to take down a single Talon.

As she tried to reload the magazine, their patience ran out.

One of them knocked the gun out of her hand, slicing the skin in the process.

Before Y/N could look down at the damage, another Talon wrapped his hand around her neck and lifted her off the ground like a doll.

“How can such a weak and pathetic woman have caused such a nuisance?” He cooed at her as he tilted his head, inspecting her.

Y/N couldn’t reply even if she wanted to.

Her hands were frantically trying to free herself, nails ripping at the armor and gloves of the Talon.

“Perhaps she could be of use to us,” one of them spoke up. “Unless she’d rather die…”

But before they could drop her or make a decision, someone dropped into the middle of the chaos with a blur.

Next thing Y/N knew, she was being dropped to the ground and coughing to recover her breath.

When she looked up, she saw Dick – no, Nightwing – taking on all of the Talons who were sent to kill her.

Yes, Y/N had frequently seen Dick train with Bruce and his brothers. However, this was something entirely different.

Y/N watched in shock as Dick used his escrima sticks to take out the Talons in droves. He flipped, kicked, punched, and moved in a way Y/N had never seen before.

There was a moment of pause that gave him the opportunity to meet her gaze.

“Y/N, run!” Dick screamed as he flipped away from the deadly claws of a Talon.

She blinked at his command and snapped out of her daze.

Jumping to her feet, she did as he said.

But she only got a few yards before two more Talons dropped in front of her and blocked her path.

Her fear was interrupted by bullets raining on them seconds before a motorcycle flew into her peripheral.

Red Hood did a front wheel break and swung his motorcycle so precisely that he managed to take out both of the Talons with the backend of his bike.

He turned to look at her. “Get on.”

But Y/N looked behind her at Dick, who was fighting Talon after Talon.

“What about Di–” she stopped herself from using his name. “What about Nightwing?!”

“Batman is on his way with the others. But right now, we have to get you out of here,” Jason yelled back.

Right on cue, the Batmobile came screaming toward them, as well as Tim on his motorcycle.

“Y/N, get on the motherfucking bike,” Jason warned her.

She turned around again and saw Dick now being aided by Damian, Tim, and Bruce. They were finally starting to overpower the Talons.

Clearly they hadn’t sent the numbers to defend themselves against the entire bat family. They probably assumed Y/N would head their warning and arrive unaccompanied. And Y/N did. But both her and The Court underestimated the vigilante family’s protectiveness towards her.

Y/N finally listened to Jason and jumped on the back of his motorcycle.

Barely giving her a second to adjust, Jason floored it and sped away from the fight as quickly as possible.

This motorcycle ride was nothing like the one Y/N shared with Dick.

Jason rode like bat out of hell, whipping around tight corners without slowing down. And even with her vice-like grip around his waist, Y/N felt like she could fly off at any moment. The wind stung against her skin like a million little needles.

“Where are we going?” Y/N tried to scream to him.

“We have to make sure they’re not tracking us before we return to the cave!”

Y/N couldn’t tell how long they had been driving around. But her arms and muscles were sore from the tension of holding on for dear life. She was so exhausted that if she hadn’t been so scared, she probably could’ve fallen asleep on the back of Jason’s motorcycle – even with his reckless driving.

Without any warning, Jason veered into a parking garage and went to the basement level where no cars were parked. He must’ve pressed a button because a hidden compartment was opening against the cement wall and suddenly they were driving through it.

Y/N got off the bike as soon as he stopped and looked around.

It must be one of his safehouses.

To her surprise, Jason took off his Red Hood helmet and then the domino mask underneath. He also grabbed some clothes that would either cover his Red Hood uniform or make it look like civilian clothing.

He pointed to a car, “Come on.”

Y/N followed him silently and got into the passenger seat.

It was a 20 minute ride back to the manor.

And it finally gave Y/N time to actually process what she had planned to do tonight.

“Wanna talk about it?” Jason asked after 10 minutes of silence.

“And say what?” She challenged.

He smirked. “I don’t know. Maybe how you enjoy playing sacrificial lamb.”

Y/N ground her teeth together. “That’s oversimplifying it, and you know it.”

Jason just shrugged.

“That’s it?” She asked when he didn’t follow up with any more questions. “Really? You’re not going to start lecturing me?”

“Oh, definitely not. ‘Cause you’re gonna get a shit ton of that when Bruce sees you – maybe even from Dick, if he’s not too overwhelmed with relief from seeing you in one piece. Which, by the way, you’re very lucky to be.”

Y/N had no response to that.

The rest of the ride was quiet, except for the local classic rock radio station that Jason decided to turn on.

To their surprise, no one was waiting in the cave for them. But Dick and Tim’s motorcycles were parked, as well as the batmobile. So they had clearly returned.

“That might not be a great sign…” Jason mumbled as got out of his civilian car. “Come on,” he nudged with his head as he started making his way to the stairs that led back into the manor.

When they got up, Jason followed the sounds of voices coming from the kitchen.

Y/N’s eyes immediately took in the group, worried that someone would be missing.

No one was in full uniform. Tim and Damian were in sweats. Bruce’s cape and cowl were gone, but his full body armor was still on.

The three of them and Alfred were all gathered around Dick, who was sitting on the island counter shirtless with nothing but his black compression shorts on.

One of his left eye was black, there was dried blood below his nostrils, his bottom lip was split and swollen. But Y/N’s eyes were only looking at the wound on his side that Alfred was currently stitching. Clearly one of the Talons’ swords found an in.

When the family heard Jason and Y/N’s entrance, all eyes were on them.

Dick looked relieved.

But Bruce? He looked livid.

“What the hell were you thinking?”

He didn’t yell. No, instead his voice was low and even. And it scared Y/N more than yelling ever could.

But she was too busy looking at Dick’s injuries with concern.

Then her gaze raced to Tim and Damian, looking them up and down to try and assess if they had any injuries. But they seemed in good shape.

“Y/N!” Bruce snapped.

Finally she acknowledged him.

“What?!” She growled in return.

“What were you thinking?”

“Bruce…” Dick warned quietly.

They had all seen Bruce get this way. And they all unfortunately had been on the other side of his wrath. They could see the telltale signs that Bruce was about to give one of his level-headed, but extremely disappointed speeches.

Except there was one big difference this time: Y/N wasn’t one of Bruce’s kids.

And by now, all of the boys had figured out that Bruce was feeling some kind of way about her. Even Damian had finally realized that Y/N wasn’t just an ally or fellow vigilante to his father.

“How about we all take in a deep breath and appreciate that none of us are dead?” Jason asked the group loudly. “Because we know that hasn’t always been on the case in the past…”

But Bruce ignored Jason and took a step to Y/N.

“You could’ve been killed,” he muttered quickly.

“I was trying to save innocent lives!” Y/N snapped.

“You should’ve told us as soon as you received the threat,” he countered.

“Why? So you could sideline me and make decisions about my fucking life?”

“We would have come up with a plan. One that did not involve you hot-wiring a car and driving to your death.”

“I was trying not to endanger anyone else, meaning all five of you!”

“And look how that ended,” Bruce answered darkly as she gesture to Dick, who was now stitched up and Alfred was putting a wrap around his torso.

“You can’t just shove your way into my life whenever you feel like it!” Y/N finally shouted at Bruce. “I was doing just fine before you added yourself to the situation.”

This wasn’t just about tonight anymore. The tension in their relationship had now flooded into the argument, finally reaching its boiling point.

“Tonight proved otherwise,” Bruce told her evenly.

But Bruce remaining too calm and showing no emotional reaction was only infuriating Y/N more.

“Hey!” Y/N yelled. “Just because I don’t put on a stupid costume and punch my way out of problems doesn’t mean you’re better than me. In fact, you would be screwed if it weren’t for me. You need me. You need me more than I need you.”

Bruce just glared at her.

“What? Nothing to say?”

“We can have a discussion when you stop behaving like a child.”

And it was finally what made Y/N snap.

She lunged at him.

What she planned on doing to him was beyond her. Everyone, including herself, knew she didn’t stand a chance against a petty fight with Batman. She probably couldn’t even land a punch if he let her.

Thankfully, she would never have to get that proven to her. Because Dick put a stop to it before it could actually start.

When he had moved off the counter and closer to their argument, she didn’t know.

But now Dick was finally intervening as he wrapped his arms around Y/N from behind her, pinning her arms to her side and pressing her back to his chest.

“A child?!” Y/N screamed as she tried to fight her way out of Dick’s grip. “Should I remind you that you fucked this ‘child’?!”

“Alright,” Dick warned her calmly. “That’s enough.”

“Let go of me!”

“Calm down,” he told her quietly.

Suddenly, Y/N remembered that Dick was injured, and he was injured because of her. And now she was thrashing against him, probably causing him harm and putting him at risk of opening the stitches Alfred had just finished.

“Fine,” she huffed. “I’m calm.”

But Dick waited a second or two before he decided to believe her.

When he let go, she lightly shoved him away from her and made her escape.

The whole family watched her leave, and felt the awkward tension that filled the room after she’d gone.

Tim looked shocked.

Jason glared at Bruce.

Damian seemed rather disappointed – in Y/N or his father, no one could figure out.

Dick eyed Bruce. “Great job,” he told him darkly.

Bruce just crossed this arms and sighed.

Dick gestured in the direction that Y/N went. “Aren’t you going to go after her?”

But he knew already from Bruce’s expression that he wasn’t going to anything of the sort.

“You know what, forget it.” Dick huffed before heading in the general direction that Y/N had escaped.

But Jason wasn’t going to let Bruce off the hook so easily.

“What the fuck is the matter with you?” He hissed.

“Stay out of it, Jason.”

“Stay out of it?” He mocked. “Yeah, it’s a little bit hard to do that when her safety has become a family matter.” Jason shook his head in disappointment and turned to leave, “I’m out of here.”

-----------

When Dick tried to retrace Y/N’s steps, he found the front door of the manor wide open. The sight was rather eerie for some reason. But Dick stepped onto the front of the manor and looked out at the land.

Had she made a run for the gate?

It wouldn’t be the first time tonight, clearly.

But after a few scans of the property, he eventually found her.

Despite the circumstances, Dick couldn’t help but smirk when he found Y/N sprawled on the great lawn of the manor, laying on her back and staring up at the stars.

He stood over her. “I’m surprised you didn’t make a run for it.”

“Oh, I tried,” she told him matter of factly. “Bastard’s already updated the security system from earlier tonight.”

“Believe it or not, that’s his way of saying he cares. Just ask Damian.” He slowly sat down on the lawn with her, but made sure to still give her some space.

“No. It’s his way of reminding me that he’s the one in control.”

Dick winced, knowing there was probably truth to that, too.

“He shouldn’t have said that to you,” Dick sighed.

Y/N scoffed. “What part?”

He hesitated before clarifying. “You’re not a child.”

She went quiet, not expecting him to get right to it.

“Well, we’re the same age…so of course you’d say that.”

Dick rubbed his face, knowing this was a losing battle. Nothing he said on the matter would bring her comfort.

Y/N finally looked away from the stars and her face scrunched in guilt and worry as she took in Dick’s fresh bandage. There was a pinkish blotch that showed just how big the wound was.

Slowly she sat up and turned to him. “Are you okay?” She whispered shakily.

He grinned at her concern. “Believe it or not, this is nothing.”

But Y/N still reached forward and cupped his face. Her thumb traced around his black eye, but made sure not to put any pressure on the swollen skin.

Dick leaned into her touch, not bothering to try and hide the affection.

“This is exactly what I didn’t want,” Y/N mumbled.

Dick opened his mouth, but then quickly changed his mind and closed it again.

“What?” She pushed.

But before Dick would answer, he slowly moved into her space. Then he pressed his forehead to hers.

“Please, don’t do anything like that again.”

His approach was different, but it was clear Dick and Bruce felt the same way about the stunt she had pulled.

Y/N was quiet.

“I understand why you did it. I really do.” He added quickly. “But just…” He paused and took in a shaky inhale. “Tonight scared the hell out of me, Y/N.”

“I’m sorry,” Y/N whispered.

“I know you are. I saw it on your face as soon as you saw my injuries.” His eyes went dark. “But we can’t do things like that. We have to work together or this is all going to explode in our faces.”

Y/N thought over his words.

His hands went to cup her face.

“Deal?” He pushed.

She nodded.

Then Dick’s eyes moved down to her throat.The blistering red was already fading and being replaced by purple and blue bruising.

His mind flashed back to earlier, how he saw her dangling by her throat and unable to escape the Talon’s grip. The sight had caused him to rush into battle, not thinking of a plan before doing so. It went against everything Bruce had taught him. But seeing Y/N’s life in danger made him black out.

“We should get some ice for your neck,” Dick muttered quietly.

Then he looked down at her hand. It had stopped bleeding, but the cut looked painful and there was dried blood surrounding it.

“Fucker sliced it when he knocked my gun out of my hand,” Y/N mumbled when she saw Dick staring at it.

He eyed her suspiciously. “And I suppose Jason’s been helping with that, huh?”

She cringed. “Maybe…”

Dick just huffed and shook his head.

He started getting up, “Come on. Let me clean that cut and get some ice for your neck.”

But Y/N pulled him back down.

“Wait. Can we…Can we just stay for a bit?” She asked quietly, and then pointed up and laid back down in the grass to stare up at the sky.

Dick smirked and nodded.

He joined her, moving closer this time so their shoulders touched.

“You can actually see the stars out here,” Y/N sighed.

The smog and city lights of Gotham made them invisible.

But now they were far enough to see a few.

Dick thought about all the places he used to travel to with the circus. Some of them were so far removed from society that he could see every single star at night.

But he didn’t tell Y/N that this was nothing compared to those places.

Instead, Dick just slowly moved his hand and grabbed Y/Ns, interlacing their fingers. A part of him expected her to pull away. But she squeezed his hand and kept looking up.

—

Alfred found Bruce in the library, looking out the windows.

When he joined his side, he saw what Bruce was looking at: Dick and Y/N laying on the grass of the great lawn, stargazing.

“You’re disappointed in me,” Bruce said without taking his eyes off the two.

“I said nothing of the sort, Master Wayne.”

Bruce frowned. “You don’t have to.”

“She is not another charge, Master Wayne.” Alfred sighed. “Therefore you should not treat her as such.”

“I’m trying to keep her safe.”

“Why do you think she said nothing of the threat?” Alfred countered. “Why do you think she did not believe she could trust you?”

Bruce said nothing.

“You put the safety of Gotham over your own life every night, Master Wayne.” Alfred continued. “Yet you are so spiteful towards others who do the same.”

That finally made Bruce turn away from the window to look at Alfred.

“You owe her an apology,” Alfred finally confirmed. “Even if Master Dick has become rather good at cleaning up your messes.”

--------------------------------------------

Part 7

Let me know what you think – please, please, please.

#all men have limits #all men have limits part 6 #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson reader insert #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne reader insert #bruce wayne x reader x dick grayson #dick grayson x reader x bruce wayne #batman x reader #nightwing x reader #batfam #batboys #bruce wayne fic #dick grayson fic

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rizubaby · 3 years

Text

You're Mine | Gonta Gokuhara.

genre ; nsfw oneshot.

request ; Gonta Gokuhara with a breeding / matink kink.

summary ; being raised in the wild, Gonta's repressed primal instinct has been kept away for too long. It's time he gets to make you his, forever.

tags ; afab!reader, boyfriend experience, breeding / mating kink, slight size difference, rough sex, vulgar language.

wc ; 1,7k.

note ; ahh I absolutely LOVED writing this! Feral Gonta is what keeps me up at night, so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

This is an 18+ post. Minors dni.

The rays of the morning sun gently shine through the curtains of your shared bedroom, the alarm clock next to your bed indicating it's nearly 7:00 am. Last night was one of your weekly date nights, usually consisting of cooking dinner together and watching your favourite movies or tv-shows together while you talk to each other about your week.

Gonta's laying on this back, bare chested with just his boxers on and your soft white bed sheets covering his lower half. He had just woken up, grunting softly as he stretches his arms. He groggily rubs his eyes and turns on his side, now being met with you peacefully sleeping next to him.

He's usually the one to wake up first, and he loves to start his morning off by making breakfast for you and bringing it to you while you're still laying in bed. He'll get in bed and nuzzle next to you as you eat your breakfast, talking about your plans for the day.

Not this morning, though.

Ever since you've been together, Gonta has felt a weird feeling build up inside him. He's aware of what these feelings are, but he's scared that it might ruin things for the two of you. He's very attracted to you and loves you very much, so against his better judgement, he hides this part of himself for the sake of your relationship. He's never told you about it, but unbeknownst to him, you've noticed something is holding him back, and you have a pretty good idea of what it might be.

Hoping it would make your boyfriend finally act on his urges, you decided to tease him. A LOT. You started being more suggestive in certain conversations, or you'd try to seduce him by suddenly sitting on his lap or whispering things into his ear. You could see the internal struggle Gonta was having with himself. All he could think about in those moments was just absolutely destroying you and filling you with his seed. He was content with the vanilla-y sex you two had, sure, but it always took a lot for him to hold himself back and not absolutely ravage you, and he wouldn't be sure what would happen once he'd let himself go.

You decided to wear some... suggestive clothing to bed, in the hopes of making him want to do things to you. And it worked. Gonta slowly moved closer towards you and gently caressed your sides. His face was flushed red, feeling a tent already forming inside his tight boxers.

God, he loved how you looked in that. The color of your silk sleepwear complimented your skintone beautifully and the sheer lace left little to the imagination. He wrapped his big arms around you and gently pulled you against him, his hard-on poking against your butt.

Feeling something poke against you and the weight of his arms around your waist, you slowly opened your eyes. You let out a soft yawn and teasingly rubbed your body even closer against his. "Good morning, baby."

Without saying a word, Gonta held you even tighter as he started planting sloppy little kisses along your neck and shoulders, sending shivers down your spine. You could tell he was at the verge of breaking, and that all that was on his mind right now was fucking you senseless. His breath against your skin made your body weak, feeling your nipples harden by the sensation of his bulge right against your entrance.

"S-S/o... Gonta apologize... H-He not contain himself any longer," he mumbles, his tone noticably lower than how he usually talks. You feel your face burning up, reaching up to gently caress his face. "It's okay baby... I don't mind," you whisper, grabbing his hand that was resting on your sides and guiding it up towards your chest.

You hear him gasp softly, even feeling his bulge twitch slightly by the sudden sensation of his large hands on your chest. Gonta immediately gets up and turns you around in one swift motion, now hovering above you as you're facing him directly. Your flushed faces finally meet each other, and you can see a look of lust and desperation in his red eyes.

"H-Honey... G-Gonta want to tell you something," he starts, clearly ashamed about bringing this topic up. You look into his eyes and nod in anticipation. "Gonta... Want to make you his, forever. He... Want to mate with you."

Your face flushes bright red and you place your hands on his face, bringing him in for a passionate, lustful kiss. "I know... Go ahead baby, make me yours," you whisper into his ear, wrapping your legs around his waist.

Like the flick of a lightswitch, something snapped inside him and the last ounce of hesitation disappeared from his mind. His primal instinct had now fully overridden his gentlemanly ways and he hungrily started kissing down your chest, wasting no time in forcefully pulling your clothing off of you, exposing your beautiful naked body. He made his way down your tummy and hips, kissing and leaving hickeys everywhere. He wanted to mark you, making sure everyone would know you're his mate. If you were to walk a little weird the next day with marks all over your body, then so be it.

"G-Gonta..!" You exclaimed as you felt him kiss the inside of your thighs, dangerously close to your wet entrance that was eagerly awaiting for him to slip inside. You let your fingers run through his messy hair and held on tight, preparing yourself for the immense pleasure you were about to receive. And he did not disappoint.

He started lapping at your clit and folds, his tongue working it's magic as you arched your back in response. You knew he was good at this, but it was even better when he was in a state of pure primal instinct, wanting to make you so wet that the sounds of you two fucking would be heard from down the street. You heard his hungry groans from between your legs, his big strong hands holding a steady grip on your ankles. You felt your climax approaching, your legs twitching from the pure extacy Gonta's mouth was giving you.

Your climax was about ten times stronger than it usually was, your eyes rolling back as you let out a surprisingly loud moan.

"B-Baby please, p-please fuck me... I need you inside me-" you begged, frantically searching for him with your hands. Not even having enough time to completely come down from your high, Gonta swiftly lifted your legs in the air and over his shoulders. Because of his large physique, You felt like you were almost hanging upside down as your legs hung over his broad shoulders. He looked at you with a wild and lustful expression, instantly telling you that there was no backing down from this. Once he had claimed you as his mate, there was no going back.

He slid the tip of his cock in between your folds, audibly grunting. The feeling of just your entrance without a condom was incredible. He could not believe he was actually doing this with you. His brows furrowed and he gave you one last look before pushing into you all at once, the both of you letting out a loud moan in response. God, he was huge, and without a condom you could feel all of him, his tip already pushing against your cervix without even moving. You grabbed onto his forearms with all your might, feeling him start to move and quickly picking up the pace. His huge cock thrusting in and out of you with an incredible speed made you gasp for air, your eyes starting to tear up from the immense pleasure.

Gonta leaned in for another kiss and groaned loudly, like a wolf hunting it's prey. He felt like a completely different person, pounding into you like there was no tomorrow. Seeing you writhe underneath him and nearly lose your mind from how hard and fast he was going made him so close. He stopped for a moment, quickly turning you around on all fours and pushing back into you just as fast. You felt your body getting weaker and weaker, becoming a trembling mess with your ass up in the air as Gonta was rearranging your insides.

"F-Fuck, Gonta y-yes, oh my god..!" you managed to blurt out as uncontrollable moans spilled out of you, his grip on your hips tightening and his nails digging into your skin. He was pounding into you relentlessly, all while hitting all the right spots.

"A-Ah, s-s/o feel so good around Gonta-" he grunted. You moaned loudly into your pillow as your second orgasm washed over you, screaming out his name. The feeling of your walls clenching tightly around him was what finally made him tip over, his huge load of cum finally bursting inside you. He moaned out your name as he came inside, biting your neck in response as he felt your walls milk him of every last drop.

"Is... Is s/o okay?" Gonta panted, slightly worried that he might have just broken you. You nodded in response, not being able to form a cohesive sentence after being filled to the brim with his hot load. A small pool of saliva had formed on the pillow you used to muffle your moans, both of your faces flushed red from the intense sex you two just had. But this wasn't the end of it.

After letting you rest for a little bit, he bred you about three more times before finally collapsing on top of you, panting heavily. Your entire body was marked with bruises and hickeys, and so was Gonta's. Afterwards, he kissed you all over and got you something to drink and a wet cloth for your bruises. The look of satisfaction and slight horror at the sight of you after having just bred you like four times was kind of adorable, so you pulled him towards you and snuggled up against him.

"That was... unbelievable. I love you so much, Gonta..." You managed to get out, your voice sore from all the moaning and screaming. You gently rested your head on his chest as you let your finger twirl around a lock of his messy green hair.

"Gonta very happy s/o did this with him. Gonta loves you a thousand times!" he exclaimed, hugging you even tighter.

"Now s/o is Gonta's mate, forever."

#danganronpa #danganronpa smut #drv3 #drv3 gonta #gonta gokuhara #gonta x reader #danganronpa x reader

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anonquack · 3 years

Text

| Red Reunion |

Alex Quackity x Reader, Oneshot!

Word Count: 7157

Warnings: This contains DSMP LORE spoilers (egg lore) and character death is described (no MCD). Angst to fluff. Read at your own risk. Also; curse words (:

Summary: After some time off the DSMP, you make your return, only to find out everything has changed. The person you care most about is not himself anymore, and you're going to do everything in your power to put a smile back on his face. Bring Quackity back to you, and make up all the time lost.

A lot had changed since you were last here. Some parts had been destroyed due to conflicts, others just did not give off the same approachable feeling they used to. Things around the Dream SMP were very different.

As you walked around, in search for something or someone you recognized, your eyes fell upon Bad. He seemed to be rather busy, chatting up a storm with what looked to be Ant. Finally, some familiar faces!

The feeling of relief that rushed over you after seeing Bad made you act on impulse. Before you knew it, you were standing a few steps away from Ant and Bad.

"Bad!?" You called out. The relief slowly dissipated as you got closer. Bad did not look like himself, and neither did Ant. There was something slightly off about them. But it was too late now, their attention was on you.

"Y/N-?" Bad responded, milky eyes widening slightly, at the sight he hadn't seen in what felt like decades. This was Bad. No doubt. You nodded in response and quickly wrapped him into a hug, not caring to think that the time you two spent apart had also put some space between you two. Ignorant to the idea that things had changed.

You felt the tension running through his body as your arms wrapped around him, and decided to pull away after a few seconds. "Hi." You let out, waving at Ant, who seemed just as surprised to see you here.

"Hi-!" Bad and Ant responded. "What are you doing here?" Ant added, confusion clear in his face. Although it stung slightly, it made sense. It had been too long since you last stepped foot on the SMP. Nobody knew when you'd be back, but now you were finally here.

"I'm..back. I missed you all, but it seems stuff has changed." You said, gently scratching the back of your neck in anticipation of their response. They looked at each other before Bad gave you a grin, gently resting his hand onto your shoulder.

"Nonsense. It's nice to see you again, Y/N. I'm actually glad we bumped into you, so we can formally invite you to the Red Banquet! Ant, Ponk, and I will be hosting it, and we'd love to see you there! Think of it as a welcome back party. I'm sure everyone attending would love to see you again. It really has been so long.."

It was a load of information, and it took a bit to fully process everything, but you slowly nodded your head as he spoke to let him know you were listening.

"Red Banquet?" You said once all information he'd thrown at you had been digested. "What's that all about?" Perhaps it was connected to the red vines you'd seen around certain parts of the SMP a few days ago.

Bad simply shook his head. "Just a party we're having in order to attempt to unite everyone again. I'd really love to see you there! But for now, Ant and I have to go. Promise you'll show up?"

He seemed to be in a rush, but you found it very sweet that he wanted to unite everyone again. Classic BadBoyHalo. That'd probably be nice, especially after hearing the rumors that war took place on these lands during your absence.

"Yes, I'll be there." You nodded, a small smile on your lips. He smiled at that as well, nodding and waving his hand a bit as him and Ant walked away.

"Oh-! And wear Red please!!" He called out before slowly disappearing out of your sights. You nodded even though he couldn't see you, and smiled to yourself once you were all alone.

Maybe things weren't so different. Maybe this Red Banquet would help you reconnect with all your friends, all the people you'd accidentally left behind. It was the perfect time for apologies and reconciliation. The Red Banquet would do just that for you.

It was finally the day of the Red Banquet. Although on short notice, you'd managed to find an outfit that fit the dress code, even if just a little. You looked yourself over once more before heading off to the location Bad and Ant had given you.

As you got closer, you started to notice more people, and some familiar faces. It made you happy to see they were okay, but you were also dreading the confrontation.

Would they be angry at you for leaving? Would they even want to see you? Did they even remember you? So many questions were floating around in your head until you spotted a certain person.

Puffy.

She was curiously looking around at everyone too, admiring the wonderful outfits everybody had picked out for today.

Although a bit hesitant at first, you finally made your way over to her. As you got closer, her gaze went towards you.

Her eyebrows raised slightly, perhaps in confusion, followed by her eyes widening when she realized who she was looking at.

"Hi Puffy." You said with a small wave, voice timid and unsure. Her eyes were wide as she took in the sight of you, unable to believe it really was you standing in front of her.

"Y/N-?" She responded, stepping towards you. You nodded and gave another wave. You were cautious since you didn't know if she hated your guts or was just surprised to see you back.

"Oh wow- hi!! It's been so long!" She exclaimed, finally taking all the information in. "I couldn't believe it was really you-!"

You took a few steps towards her and eventually you both enveloped each other into a hug. It felt so nice to see old friends again, and it felt even better knowing there was no resentment towards you.

After pulling away from the hug, you both smiled at each other before she grabbed your arm and began taking you around to greet everybody else.

Everyone was welcoming, more shocked than anything else at the fact you were back. It made the uneasiness in your stomach go away.

But not quite. You hadn't bumped into the person you wanted to see the most. He was nowhere in sight. Knowing that he could be anywhere, that you could bump into him at any second, kept you on edge.

"Uh, Puffy?" You called out to the woman beside you, calmly waiting for the banquet to start. She turned her attention towards you, eyebrows raised slightly to notify you that she was listening. "Do you know if Quackity is going to show up?" You asked, trying your best to hide your anxiousness and replace it with a casual tone.

She seemed to be thinking about it for a bit before shrugging. "I'm not sure. Maybe Bad invited him? I don't see why he wouldn't!" Her response was brief, but it made sense. Bad had said he wanted to make peace with everyone, unite them once and for all. He had to show up. He had to.

The Red Banquet was going well. You were currently seated at the table, everyone happily listening to the toasts that were being made, waiting for the moment where they could finally enjoy the soup placed in front of them.

So far, the day had consisted of drinks, music, dancing, and laughs. Everyone seemed to be getting along quite well, and it seemed that Bad's plan of uniting everyone was working.

As pleasant as the night seemed, one thing was still bothering you. He was still nowhere in sight, and you were losing hope of finding him here.

The fear of him not showing up tonight, or perhaps that you two would never cross paths again was threatening to cloud your senses, but today was the day everyone let bygones be bygones. Those fears would have to wait until after you left the Banquet.

For now, you watched in adoration as individuals stood from their seats and began their speeches regarding the bright futures they saw in store for all present. The idea that all conflict, which you hadn't even learned half of, would be forgotten and replaced with nothing but friendship. Their speeches were wonderful and left you in a happy daze.

But the happy daze did not last.

You were staring at your bowl of soup absent-mindedly when a loud scraping of a chair against the floor caught your attention. Your head snapped up, trying to see what was wrong, and immediately you noticed that everyone was up, shocked and reproaching Bad.

You looked around in confusion before noticing the walls of lava closing in on you all. Your eyes scanned the room before finding Bad, Ant, Ponk, and even Hannah in full gear. You couldn't even process what was happening as everybody was shouting at each other.

What in the hell had happened?

The only words registered by you were "sacrifice" and "egg", none of which made sense. Why was Bad doing this? This was not Bad. He was not like this. He was willing to sacrifice the lives of his friends for.. for whatever the Egg was. Was it the vines circling around the SMP? The Red vines circling the very place where the Red Banquet was taking place? What the hell happened while you were gone?

There was nothing you could even do, no one had weapons besides Bad and his group, and suddenly Bad's request for no one to come armed made sense. To the innocent minds, it would appear he just wanted a peaceful banquet. But now it was obvious he wanted no one to have the ability of fighting back against his plans.

It seemed like your time here had come to an end. Bad was going to sacrifice his friends right here and now. No failed attempts to harm the egg were gonna stop them. Nothing was.

Nothing was stopping Bad or Ant from killing in front of everyone. The speeches meant nothing. Foolish meant nothing to them besides a sacrifice to the Egg. You'd never heard Puffy let out such cries and screams. The blood that was dripping onto the stone floor from where Foolish was sacrificed would be something you saw in your nightmares from now on.

It seemed helpless. Everyone was practically lined up, waiting for death to arrive for them.

Until he barged in.

There was no mistaking that voice. There was no mistaking the way his presence took over the room, called for everyone's attention and demanded it stay there. It was him. He was here. He was going to save everyone.

Your eyes were glued to him as he cautiously walked closer to Bad, calling out to him and trying to get the older to come to his senses, get him to stop whatever nonsense he was trying to do tonight.

Part of you felt bad about completely forgetting the betrayal that had taken place tonight, and instead feeling ecstatic that Quackity was here, in the flesh.

The guilt began seeping in as you heard the people around you yelling out their thoughts, heard how pained and tired they sounded in regards to what Bad was doing, and probably because of all they've been through as well.

You escaped your own thoughts once Puffy charged at Ant, and a whole fight broke out between everyone. It was all too much to take in, it was all happening too fast. Ant was dead because of Puffy, Bad and the rest of his group had gotten away, and the rest of the guests were visibly shaken up.

And then there was him, curses leaving his lips, and a harsh scowl on display. It was clear with his facial expressions that he was beating himself up for letting Bad escape. You watched as he gave orders for Purpled to try and follow after Bad, try to get a sense of where he'd gone off to. And then his attention was returned to the guests.

His eyes flitted through the crowd, and you could feel yourself attempting to shrink. The idea of talking to him was nerve-racking, but necessary. He soon began to lead everybody out of the hole Bad had dragged them into. As soon as the bright light of day was visible again, the guests began to break out into cheers. Some crying over the fact that they were scared they'd never get to see this sight again.

As he checked to make sure everyone was okay, you decided it was the perfect time to approach. His back was facing you as you made your way towards him, too busy ensuring everyone made it out to notice the faint footsteps approaching him.

"Quackity?" You called out, feeling your mouth turn dry so quickly, scared of what to say next. You could see his shoulders stiffen, tension rising in the air before he turned around slowly. The look of disbelief and bewilderment in his eyes was something you'd never forget.

Now that he was so close, you took a moment to examine his facial features. This was not the Quackity you remembered. The Quackity you knew had bright, cheerful eyes. He had a cheeky smile on his face, always getting himself into trouble.

No, this Quackity was nothing like that. The bright, cheerful eyes were gone, now replaced by rather dull looking ones, and a scar across one of his eyes. The smile was also gone, lips slightly parted now, words dying on the tip of his tongue at the sight of you. Even his clothes were different. The blue sweater was gone, now replaced by rather formal wear.

A look of pain flashed across his face before quickly disappearing and getting replaced by the same stoic expression from earlier. "Y/N." He stated. Hearing him say your name ignited something within you, but it was nothing like before. A frown quickly took over your features as you struggled to find what to say in return.

"How have you been?" It was so dumb. There were so many better things that could've been said but that's what came out of your mouth at that moment. You watched as he stared before lightly rolling his eyes. "Now's not the time to catch up. I've got shit to do." He stated bluntly. He only maintained eye contact for a few more seconds before he walked away, approaching Technoblade to discuss what you could only assume was related to Bad.

You could hear your heart breaking inside your chest. He definitely hated you, and you couldn't really blame him. You'd left and returned to a broken Quackity. He clearly had gone through some shit, if his scars weren't telling. He was a changed man, and for you to try and waltz back into his life was fucked up. You knew that. But fuck. It hurt way more than you thought it would.

You'd considered what it'd be like, an alternate reality where Quackity hated your guts, and it seemed bad. But it was nothing quite compared to the real thing. This was your reality now.

You watched as he walked off, a dumbfounded yet hurt look on your face. You felt the sting in the back of your eyes as you tried holding it in until later. You were biting down on the inside of your cheek, eyes glued to his back before you turned, deciding to head back to what you deemed your home for now.

This Red Banquet had gone quite the opposite of what you expected, and had ended with your heart aching because the only person you truly cared about now despised you. You couldn't wait to get home and crawl into bed.

—

It'd been a week or two since the incident. Tension was still high, but everyone was making an effort to try and let things go back to normal.

You were too. You couldn't stay in bed forever, as pleasant as that seemed, so that meant going out and about.

This didn't necessarily mean productivity. You needed time to let your heart and mind heal, so a stroll around the SMP would do for now.

You took your time, quietly admiring the bright and colorful flowers that decorated certain areas, the beautiful builds that were built in your absence, and how the SMP was still bustling even after such incidents.

Your gaze followed your feet, and the way the grass crunched and bent under your shoes. Your gaze jumped from flower to flower, different colors catching your attention. Different.. people. A person.

Quackity.

Shame and fear took over your body as you looked at him from afar. After your last exchange, you were hyper aware on the fact he did not wish to speak to you anymore. And yet your paths had somehow crossed again.

You felt yourself let out a breath you didn't even know you'd been holding in. Approaching him again would be a grave mistake. But it could be a mistake you dwell on after. Your mind was going so fast as you considered the pros and cons of approaching him at this very moment.

It was the fear of 'What If' that made you do it. You let out another shaky breath, trying to calm yourself before approaching.

"Quackity!" You called out as you made your way over to him. He was currently slumped over, eyes fixated on the ground, face hidden from your view.

He looked torn, as if life had taken every single bit of happiness from him. As you got closer, you came to a halt, not wanting to alert him.

"Quackity?" You called out again, the nerves slowly reappearing and engulfing you with concern.

Once he looked up, his brown eyes met yours, and you were stunned at the beauty of them. The sunlight shone so beautifully and accentuated the light and dark browns that made up his irises.

Your gaze moved from his eyes to the scar that now rested on said eyes. Your gaze softened, a small frown on your lips at the realization that he'd probably been through so much these last few months.

"What happened?" You asked, hands acting on instinct, reaching out for his face. At that moment, you witnessed him put space between you two, a bewildered look in his eyes. You felt your heart break into smithereens.

"Y/N-?" He said, the shock clear in his tone. The reaction seemed to be instinctual, not because it was you. You nodded your head fervently, before responding softly, "Yes, it's me. Hi." You saw his expression soften, but his walls quickly came back up.

"Hey." He stated coldly, eyes averting in order to avoid eye contact. You looked around for a bit, unsure of what to do before sitting down a few feet away from him in order to ensure he didn't feel uncomfortable with your presence.

When he saw that you weren't leaving, his eyes narrowed and looked over at you. When you made eye contact again, you gave him a small smile before speaking again. "Are you alright..? What... what happened-? With everything and everyone."

He rolled his eyes at the question, deciding to give short and dry answers. "A lot has happened." Your shoulders slumped slightly, not really knowing what else you expected. Certainly not a hug and a sermon explaining all events, but not this.

"I'm‐" you paused, eyes looking down at the grass and carefully ripping some of it off as you wondered how to phrase it. "I'm really sorry for leaving, Quackity. I.. I didn't think so much would happen in my absence. Especially to you." You looked up, eyes instinctively going to stare at the scar that now rested on his face.

His brown eyes met yours, examining you and taking in the apology. There was silence for a moment before he let out a shaky sigh. "You don't know half the shit I went through. Without you here." A pang of guilt struck your chest as he averted his eyes from you.

"I know, I know. I'm so sorry for leaving you, Quackity. I wouldn't have if I knew they'd.. that.. that this would happen." You stumbled on your words, anxiousness and guilt eating at you as you saw his expressions morph between pain, anger, and sadness.

He remained silent for a bit before shaking his head, "Well, can't really change the past, can we? What's done is done." His voice sounded stoic, face now void of any expression. You opened your mouth to respond but quickly closed it as you watched him begin to stand up.

A slight panic ran through you as you stumbled onto your feet as well. Too slow, though, Quackity was already on his way to who knows where. You were left to stare at his back once again.

There was a warmth spreading through your chest that you hadn't acknowledged until now. He had spoken to you, he'd taken the time to listen to what you had to say rather than shutting you out completely like before. Was this progress?

Didn't matter, because that's exactly what you were gonna call it. And this certainly wasn't the last he'd be seeing of you.

–

"Where has he been staying?" You asked as you took a sip of the drink offered to you by Puffy.

"None of us are really sure. He kind of dropped off the face of the SMP after Karl and the rest of 'em left." She was once again speaking of this as if it was the most casual of topics. Known to everybody but you. That was probably true.

Karl and the rest of them. Was that referring to Sapnap and George? That meant he didn't tag along with them, which told that he'd been off on his own. Had he really been alone this whole time?

You'd left, thinking he'd be okay with his friends. Only for him to be left with battle scars, and those very friends being the ones to leave him as well. A small frown etched itself onto your face as you thought of how difficult it must've been. Just imagining him out there on his own was enough to make your skin crawl and your heart shatter. It wasn't right at all.

"So you don't know where he's staying? He just made an appearance at Bad's banquet by chance?"

She took a moment to think before responding, "Not sure exactly where he lives, but I know the general area of where he hangs out. Seen him there multiple times." She paused and looked you up and down before giving a pitiful look. "Do you plan on continuing to seek him out?"

You nodded your head without hesitation. "Yes. I missed him terribly and just hearing what's happened, and seeing how it left him.. I want to fix things with him." There was a determined look on your face, huge contrast to the worried look Puffy was now giving you.

It went unnoticed by you though, too focused on getting Quackity to smile again. To hand him the happiness he deserves.

–

The third time your paths crossed was near the area you'd last found him. He was sharpening his sword, too preoccupied to notice you approaching again. This time, you alerted him of your presence at a safe distance, not wanting to accidentally get stabbed.

His eyes met yours, full of surprise before going stoic again. You smiled and waved lightly as you approached. You took a seat near him once again, basking in the silence, no other greeting given by either of you.

To you, this was progress. He wasn't necessarily welcoming you with open arms, but he wasn't telling you to fuck off either. You busied yourself with the grass beneath you, gently ripping out some grass blades, and occasionally glancing towards him.

The glances were mutual, you'd catch him glancing towards you every once in a while, eyes quickly averting after getting caught. A small smile appeared on your lips as you continued looking around.

It wasn't long before you realized it was getting dark. His attention was still on the sword, glances still happening here and there, as if the words would die on his tongue if he dared to break the silence. This gave you the confidence to speak again.

"It's getting dark. How much longer will you be out here?" You tilted your head slightly, eyes focused on him. His eyes met yours for a split second, probably startled by your voice.

He looked down at his sword before looking out at the sky. "Not sure. Almost done with this, so.. maybe until then." His voice sounded heavenly to your ears. This entire afternoon had been spent in peaceful silence, so it was a welcome change.

"Then.. I'll stick around until you're done." You declared, a small smile on your lips as you watched him. He raised a brow before rolling his eyes.

"You don't have to. I don't know why you stuck around this long in the first place." He murmered, eyes focusing back on the sword that rested on his lap.

"Because I wanted to spend time with you." You admitted, voice small.

It was physically difficult to actually voice your thoughts and intentions, especially after realizing it might upset him, no matter how true your words were.

You were unfortunately right.

He looked up, attention no longer on his sword, instead on you. There was a look of disbelief on his face. "Stop." He stated, a tone that told you it was a warning, that he wasn't messing around. But you had to push, take your chances. A gamble, perhaps.

"I mean it." You responded, not missing a beat. The tension slowly rose between you two, eyes not parting from each other. You watched as the peaceful look left his eyes, replaced with pure frustration.

"Just because you're here now doesn't mean it makes up for the shit you did. Being here won't win me back, it won't make me forgive you, so stop wasting your fucking time."

He was pushing you away again. Maybe silence would've lead to a happier end to the day. Maybe you both could've silently parted ways once it got darker, but instead you were sat across from each other, tension rising and hearts beating fast against chests.

"I just‐" you paused, gently biting the inside of your cheek, looking for a way to phrase it, but coming back empty-handed. "I miss you." It was out, he knew now, and your heart was left exposed, bare and fragile. He could break it any second now.

He scoffed, before standing up and carefully putting away his sword. He didn't dare respond, gaze leaving yours and instead focusing on the path to wherever he seemed to call home.

You watched him leave, an activity that you seemed to be doing often recently, before falling onto your back and letting out a groan of frustration. Your hands came to cover your eyes, gently rubbing at them, mentally telling yourself not to cry. It would be okay.

His current attitude would not scare you away. You'd continue trying, show him that you really did care, and weren't planning on leaving again. Maybe he'd see your efforts and consider giving you a second chance, perhaps he wouldn't. You were hoping the first choice was the outcome.

–

Quackity fell onto his bed with a loud thud, hands going to cover his face in frustration. He wasn't sure what to do, but he did feel a bit bad about lashing out on you everytime you'd interacted with him. The first time he'd seen you again, he felt a warmth spread across his chest. He was happy to see you again, but the harsh truth of your absence when he needed you most made the moment bittersweet.

To him, it seemed dumb that you were trying to reconnect with him. Why, after disappearing for so long, and leaving him behind just like how everybody else he cared about had done.

What if he let you back in, and you left again? He didn't think he could handle that pain again. Hearing you say you missed him had been his breaking point. His immediate response was to push as hard as he could, get you to leave before he could get attached again. If he was alone, he wouldn't have to worry about anybody leaving him.

But as he lay in bed, hands shielding him from the bright lights that illuminated the room, he took in the tone of your voice. How small it had sounded when you admitted you missed him. He thought about how you'd approached him three times now, even if he pushed you away. Would you still come back? Even after he basically told you to stop wasting your time with him? He didn't know.

It was far too much thinking for him. At least for tonight. He quietly admired the sharpness of his sword before turning off the lights and deciding to finally get some rest.

–

His questions were answered the next time he was out and about. He'd been on his way to a shop when he caught sight of you sitting at a table with a small bag settled on top. He averted his eyes and continued walking before he heard the sound of your voice, calling out to him.

He was surprised, to say the least. He looked over at you, saw you waving him over, pointing at the bag with a small smile. He hesitated, unsure if he could even face you after what had happened last time, but slowly made his way over anyway.

"Hi." You greeted, soft smile still on your lips as he came closer. "Sit." You gestured to the seat across from your own. You'd been out shopping and had stopped for some snacks along the way. You were resting at the table but luckily caught sight of him and figured this was a chance to talk to him again.

He looked down at the seat before hesitantly sitting down. "Hi." He said back, not nearly as confident as yours had sounded. You signaled at the bag, opening it and showing him the freshly baked pastries you'd picked up not too long ago. "Want one?" You offered.

Simply opening the bag gave out a pleasant smell, and it made it difficult to resist a pastry, even if it meant having to sit with you for a moment. He reached into the bag, taking one before slightly bowing his head. "Thank you." He simply stated, before taking a bite of the pastry.

The sight warmed your heart. It reminded you of the times you'd both share a meal, it could be anywhere, but any food either of you had would be shared with laughs and jokes interrupting each bite. It reminded you of when he didn't have any resentment towards you.

"Is it good?" You asked, and he only gave a small nod, hand covering his mouth in an attempt to chew politely. You smiled at that before letting a small sigh escape your lips. "I'm sorry about last time. It was probably fucked up on my part to suddenly push that on you."

He paused, eyes not leaving his hands as he processed what you'd just said. Were you really apologizing? After he'd been an asshole to you at every encounter. He looked up at you before reaching into the bag again for another pastry, out of habit and familiarity with moments like these back then.

"I'm sorry too." He started, avoiding eye contact. "I was a bit mean, and maybe you didn't really deserve it." His eyes went towards yours, wanting to see a reaction after receiving nothing but silence.

He was met with the sight of a warm smile on your face, he could feel the warmth you were radiating from where he was seated.

"You don't have to apologize to me, Quackity. I understand why you reacted that way. I do wish you'd see I mean the things I say though. Really." He took another bite out of the pastry before slowly nodding, notifying you that he was listening to what you were saying.

This could definitely be counted as progress, right? You were sharing a snack with him, and he'd apologized even if he didn't need to. The thought alone returned the smile to your face as you leaned onto your hand and stared at him quietly.

"What?" He said after a moment, staring back at you. You shrugged, "Just happy to see you again."

His cheeks flushed slightly, perhaps out of embarrassment, not used to your sappy self after months of its absence. His state made you let out a chuckle as you reached over to grab a pastry as well.

You two shared the pastries and a few other snacks you'd bought for some time until he stated he had to go get what he wanted in the first place, before you'd called him over and asked him to sit with you. You nodded and waved him goodbye, telling him it was nice seeing him again, to which he reacted to by averting his eyes and walking away. You smiled to yourself as you watched him leave. Progress.

–

After the reconciliation through pastries, you'd crossed paths with Quackity a few more times, each being less tense than the last.

Days passed where you'd cross paths with each other, and it gave you the opportunity to make conversation, maybe pester him for an hour or two, subtly letting him know that you were here to stay. To which he responded by pushing.

Quackity pushed you away as much as he could at first, but with each passing day it became more and more evident that he was softening up. It was progress. He was getting accustomed to your company again, and he wasn't really pushing you away either.

It had taken a while to get to where you currently were, but you'd do it a million times over just to spend time with him again. To be this close to him, like you used to be.

You were giving him your undivided attention as he spilled what had happened during your absence, and it was taking everything in your power to not immediately wrap your arms around him. Hearing everything he'd been through, how others had treated him, how he got his scars, and how he was left behind.. it was all so, so infuriating. It made you mad at yourself, most of all.

You couldn't help but wonder if things would've been different if you hadn't left. Perhaps you could've fought alongside him, stopped any harm from coming his way. Perhaps you could've provided him with company when he felt so alone, like the world would swallow him whole.

It definitely would've been different if you hadn't left.

But there was no point in dwelling over the past, is what you told yourself. What mattered now was that you were here, sitting across from him as he opened up to you for the first time in so long. He looked so vulnerable, eyes never meeting yours as he spoke of his experiences. You couldn't even begin to imagine how difficult this must be.

When he finished, he finally looked up at you, bottom lip caught between his teeth out of anxiousness and sadness. You scoot closer, noticing him visibly tense and relax, all within a few seconds. Your movements were slow, as to not scare him away.

You lifted your hand towards his face, as you had during one of your first encounters, and slowly moved it closer. "Can I?" You said, voice timid. He gave a small nod, and you gently cupped his face, thumb rubbing gentle circles onto his cheek before softly tracing over the scar. It felt oddly intimate, being this close to him, being able to touch him after so many months of yearning his presence.

You could feel his body tense, not used to anyone doing this in quite some time. But after a bit, his eyes closed and he melted into your hand, letting you gently caress his cheek and his scar. You came closer, body close to his. You could feel the body heat coming off of him, oh how you'd missed the feeling.

The sensation alone threatened to bring tears to your eyes. He was really here, the Quackity you missed and loved. He'd let you back in.

"I'm so sorry, Quackity. So sorry you went through this. I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere, no matter how hard you try to get rid of me. I'm right here." You reassured, continuing to draw small circles on his cheek with your thumb. His eyes looked up to meet yours, and you could feel your heart stop at the sight of his pretty eyes. He was tearing up too.

You gave him a small smile before wrapping your arms around him. All composure had left you, too preoccupied with comforting the man who'd experienced too much pain and suffering.

Your breath hitched as you felt his arms wrap around you as well, tight. The fear of being abandoned clear with the way his arms held onto you for dear life. Your shoulder felt wet, but you didn't care one bit. This was everything you'd hoped for since you first laid eyes on him again. His company, and his forgiveness. For him to know you'd be here, and wouldn't leave anymore.

After what felt like decades, you finally pulled away, eyeing him over to ensure he was alright before gently cupping his face again. This time with both hands, you wiped away any remaining tears, giving him a small smile to tell him it'd be okay from now on.

He seemed ashamed, perhaps he felt too vulnerable. You lightly directed his gaze back on you before leaning in and placing a small kiss on his cheek where the tear stains had been. You watched as his eyes fluttered shut, an invitation for you to continue. And so you did, placing small kisses all over his face, lips gently ghosting over his scar, giving him the affection he'd yearned for.

This continued for a bit before he let out a shaky sigh. You gave him a worried look, to which he simply shook his head. "It's nothing, just.. taking all of this in." You visibly relaxed at the sight of a small smile on his lips. "I can't believe you're actually here. That you came back and dealt with my shitty attitude just to get back to how we used to be."

"You had your reasons to react that way, please don't blame yourself." You responded calmly, thumb continuing to rub soothing circles onto his cheek. "Plus.. you know I'm not giving up on you, right? No matter how much you try and push me away." You grinned at him, to which he rolled his eyes.

"You're very persistent, I'll give you that." He said, relaxing further into your touch. "I'm.. I'm glad you didn't give up on me."

The grin softened into a small smile. "I could never. How about we head back to your place. You hungry?" To which he only gave a small nod as an answer. You stood, extending your hand for him to grab in order for him to get up.

Once he was up, he didn't let go, and neither did you, which made you beam at him before letting him lead the way back to what he now called home. You both walked hand in hand, no further talking needed. Once you both got there, a small dinner was made, followed by the softest and comfiest cuddles either of you had gotten in a long, long time.

—

Every single moment leading up to this was worth it. You sat in a flower field in the SMP, currently undisturbed by any of the other residents, with Quackity's head resting on your lap. You gently ran your fingers through his hair, fixing any strands that managed to poke out of his beanie after he put it on, and simply enjoying the view.

And that isn't in reference to the flower field. He looked stunning, basking in the sun with the cutest smile on his face, trying to take a nap as you made small conversation here and there, telling him about something meaningless Puffy had told you during one of her visits.

Prior to this very moment, both of you had been enjoying a picnic at this very field you were currently at. And now, you were just enjoying each other's presence. As he rested his head on your lap, you took a moment to look at all the flowers around you two.

There was a poppy nearby, the red on the petals stood out to you. Carefully picking it off its place on the soil, you made sure it was clean before gently tucking it behind his ear. The red stood out wonderfully against his skin and dark black hair.

His eyes soon opened, a confused look etched onto his face as he wondered what you'd just done. His hand reached up to gently pat the spot before stopping completely at the feeling of the flower. A small smile appeared on his lips, before he playfully rolled his eyes. You smiled back at him as he carefully sat up, not wanting the flower to fall off.

"It looks cute on you." You murmered, focused on the way the red looked in his hair. He hummed, bringing your attention back towards him. He was picking a poppy off the ground as well, lazily handing it over to you. Even with his tired smile on his face, he still looked so cute.

You smiled, taking it from his grasp. "Thank you." You quirked up, leaning in and placing a delicate kiss onto his lips, his lips moving perfectly against yours. You pulled away with a content smile before falling back onto the blanket you'd both been sitting on.

He mirrored your actions, falling back as well. You both stared up at the sky for a few moments before his gaze fell back on you. At the feeling of a gaze on you, you turned to look at him as well.

"What?"

"Thank you."

Warmth was radiating within you at that very moment. The person who meant the absolute most to you, the one who'd been through so much, was finally able to smile again. He was able to breathe freely, he was free of all his worries.

Quackity deserved the world, he deserved to feel safe and needed, wanted. And you were more than willing to risk and give everything you could in order to provide that. But for now, cuddles, kisses, and a nap under a bright blue sky would suffice for the both of you.

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chaoticpizzalawyerbiscuit · 3 years

Text

Jealousy

Hey hey hey!!!

How are y'all doing? Here's another one, hope you enjoy reading it just as much as i enjoyed writing it!! Just a heads up, this is filthy, long, intense... but it gets a little cute at the very end ;)

Thank you @wickedazriel for this request! IT IS AWESOME!!!

✨don’t forget to make your own request✨

• I don’t own any of Sarah J. Mass’ characters or any of her plots, I’m just a fan having fun. Also I do not own the images. This is story is mine though, so please do not copy •

WARNING! cursing, sex... this is a hatefuck one

∞ I see red - Everybody loves an outlaw

Author’s P.O.V.

Y/N was sick and tired of that bullshit. Ever since Elain arrived in Velaris to visit her sisters, Feyre and Nesta, Az was with her. They went to shops, restaurants and pretty much everywhere else. All the damn time.

To worsen it, this last month was rough on their relationship. Loads of work, constant arguments and sleeping on different beds was their new routine, and honestly, Y/N was so done with it. She tried time after time to get him to open up and share what left him so disturbed, like he had other times, but it was in vain. He became more distant, and was currently avoiding her.

Tonight, she wanted a change. She missed her mate, and just wished it was over. Determined to go talk to Azriel, she headed to Feyre’s house, knowing that he would be there.

As she walked the streets of the city, the sun was setting and an ocean breeze stirred lightly. It reminded her of when they met, years ago, and their first kiss. Smiling, she remembered those sweet moments, of glimmering glances and tentative touches.

Eventually, she arrived at the house and started to look for Azriel, hoping that the Inner Circle’s meeting was done. Roaming through the corridors, she caught his scent. And Elain’s, she realized with an exasperated sigh. Following it led to the main living room, and she would never be prepared to witness what happened before her eyes.

Elain and Azriel.

Kissing.

“What’s going on?”

Azriel turned around, startled. Shit. Holy shit. This is the last thing he needed. Looking into his mate’s eyes, he was panicking. Elain had kissed him, caught him by surprise, hoping he had feelings for her. But he did not want her. Elain has a mate. Elain is not Y/N.

“Y/N, wait. This is not what you think, just let —

Y/N's bitter laugh cut him off. Stepping closer, she glared at him. “It makes sense now. You acting distant and harsh, ignoring me all this time. How long has this happened.” Her cold voice tugged at his guts. “Actually, don’t answer me. You know, if you didn’t want me around anymore, you should’ve said it. But now it’s crystal clear.” She turned on her heels, and stormed out of the room.

Az moved, holding her wrist.

“Do not dare touch me.” Poison laced her voice, as she met his eyes at last. The anger there was enough to make him flinch, and he let go.

Desperate to get out of there, she stomped away from that place, hair whipping furiously. Tears came to her eyes, but she blinked them away. She had never been this angry, or heartbroken. Hungry for revenge, an idea came to her. Her smirk was devilish. She arrived home, put on his favorite dress, fixed her hair and painted her lips a bloodred tint. And like this, she went out seeking for the main part of the plan. Ace.

Now, Ace was a fae male who worked in the Rainbow. Handsome and with a talent for music, he was a charming male straight out of one of those smutty books Y/N owned. Azriel made sure she knew how much he hated the guy’s guts (with those green eyes and oh so perfect blond hair), even when she never had feelings for Ace.

With a killer look, she walked around Velaris and spotted tonight’s target. She reached him, asked if he wanted to have a drink and dance for a while, and he agreed without hesitance.

So they drank into the night, and he eventually invited her for a dance. She obliged, but as soon as the music started YN regretted it. It felt wrong, like it was missing something. This wasn’t Az. And she hated herself for being so foolish, in believing that the pain would go away this easy. That his presence would just vanish from her heart, even when it was burned into her soul.

Walking home, she wanted the day to be done. Y/N barely remembered bidding goodbye to a very confused Ace, her mind still clouded with everything that happened. She never expected anything like that from Az, even after years of relationship and many problems faced together.

Y/N reached her apartment, opened the door and found Az waiting for her. Seeing him made her anger rise to the brim, and she wasn’t the only one that was mad.

“You were with Ace?” He seethed, standing up from the couch. His blood boiled at her scent mixed with his.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

She stilled, drunk in jealousy.

“Why?! Oh I wonder why. Maybe” walking towards him, pressing his back against a wall “it was because you were kissing dear sweet Elain in the middle of a fucking living room.” They stood closely now “Maybe it’s because I feel like a fucking idiot for falling in love.” Their breaths mingled, and Y/N’s gaze burned him. With anger, with panic, with… desire.

She glanced at his lips. The room was filled by their aroused scent.

She pounced on him. His lips met her with unwavering hunger, devouring her, and she equaled him. A delightful heat started between her legs and clouded her mind, enhanced by his now roaming hands all over her. A moan left her lips, and she felt him grow hard against her stomach. She palmed him through his pants, and his hips jerked.

Grabbing her wrists, he pushed her against the opposite wall and pinned them above her head. She whined in protest, and pushed her body into his. He went crazy with desire, her dress made her look like a goddess. All he wanted was to put his scent over that male’s.

“Jump” He ordered.

She did, wrapping her legs around him, with his hands now supporting her, fingers digging on her ass.

The kisses now were more important than air itself, their lips greedy for each other. Taking them to the bedroom, the shadowsinger was going mad for her. Y/N was on her own path to insanity, as her hands struggled with the buttons of his shirt and her body begged for more attention.

He set her down and their kissing halted, overtaken by the need to shed their clothes. Fast. Mere seconds later, the pieces of clothing were discarded on the floor and the frenzy returned.

His mouth was on her lips, her neck, her breasts. Her nipples were rock hard, begging for attention as he wrapped his lips around one, licked, sucked and bit down. Her moans got out of control, thighs clenched together. Moving on to the other nipple, her hands (who had been wandering around his wings) suddenly gripped his throbbing cock, and surprised, he moaned into her chest as he thrust forward against her hand.

Her other hand grabbed his shoulder, and pushed him into the bed. He let himself fall into his back, and she got onto her knees. He will go crazy tonight, she thought, I’ll make him.

The feeling of her mouth around him made him moan loudly. The view of her hand touching herself as she sucked him off almost made him cum. He gritted his teeth, and tried to hold it. But, with exceptional expertise, she teased him to the edge. And denied him right after. Twice.

Now, ready for more, Y/N stood up, straddled him, guided his shaft to her entrance… and lowered herself. Their moans sounded, and she started to move. Up and down at first, and then she ground into his cock. She pinned him to the bed, as he did with her against the wall.

Azriel lost any scrape of sanity after this.

Y/N couldn’t control herself, and said

“Does she ride you like this? Do you fuck her like this?”

His eyes glittered with the challenge. Getting out her grip, he freed his arms, slid out of her and flipped them over. Then he flipped her, positioning her on all fours. Slid back in. Grabbed her hair. Pressed his fingers on her clit. And whispered on her ear

“Does he make you feel this, Y/N?”

Her response was only a sequence of squeals and screams, pleasure crashing into her with violent waves. Their release was close, and the thrusting became faster, sloppier, desperate. Azriel thrust one last time, deep and strong, as pinched her nub, and she came around him. He followed her, getting squeezed by her muscles, tightly and uncontrollably.

Their exhausted bodies lay entangled on each other, neither daring to move. Azriel slid out of her after a few minutes, and she whimpered softly. Still on the bed with her back to him, Y/N worked up the courage to ask.

“Az, what happened there?”

He took a deep breath.

“Elain is having trouble with Lucien and their relationship, she talked to me a lot about it. There’s a lot of crap going on between them, and I advised her as a friend. Exclusively as someone who wants the best for her.” His mate remained in silence, and that quiet despair started to take over him once again.

“Y/N," he touched her exposed back gently, “turn around and talk to me. Please.”

A beat of silence went by. Two. On the third she moved, and their eyes met. His bared nothing but honesty and love.

“I love you, Y/N. My mate, my best friend, my everything. I truly did not expect a kiss from Elain, and I have no interest in another. I’m yours.”

And hers bared nothing but thankfulness and adoration.

“Thank you for being honest with me, Az. I believe you,” he let out a breath of relief at the words, “ and I’m sorry. I acted wrongly in going to Ace, in not hearing you and in dumping my insecurities on this.”

“What went on between the two of you?”

“We had drinks, he asked me to dance. I said yes, and lasted for half a song. Because it wasn’t you.”

Azriel said nothing, and her heart broke a little more.

"Can you forgive me?”, she asked, her voice nothing more than a whisper.

He looked into her eyes, and thanked the Mother for such a stunning, courageous and honest female in his life.

“Yes.” She smiled brightly at his reply, touching their foreheads. “Can you forgive me? For making you feel insecure and for staying so distant? I shouldn’t have shut you out”

“I can, Az. And please, let’s not do this again.”

“Oh absolutely, it was dreadful” the shadowsinger agreed, and leaned in to kiss her lips, the trouble now forgotten.

And so they kissed.

Once.

Twice.

Their hands started to–

Well, you know what happens next...

-From A.

Ps: talk to me, make some requests 😁 my box is open

#azriel #azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel fic #acotar #acowar #acomaf #azriel imagine

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ethernetchord · 3 years

Text

lets talk: popular iwwv criticism

(disclaimer: i know criticism is subjective and thats why im doing this, i wanna look at some common points made against iwwv and dissect them just a little bit in the opposite direction. also none of this is directed at any individual- it’s all based on the general talking points i’ve seen surrounding the book.)

SPOILER WARNING !!

lack of exploration into james and oliver (+ gay characters feel performative)

i’ve seen loads of people say that oliver and james’ relationship felt very performative, a way of including the queer romnce which clearly is very important to the plot but not actually giving it any space in the novel, nor developing it to the same extent which meredith/oliver was.

oliver and meredith had a very strictly physical relationship and while he did love her, he wasn’t in love with her the way he was with james. the juxtaposition in the way that oliver/james is delivered and the way meredith/oliver is delivered is, i believe, far too repetitive to not be intentional. i actually realised upon re-reading how much focus there really is on meredith’s sexuality, even in subtleties in the book. meredith and oliver get more blatant sex scenes, get more physical parts because oliver was (to an extent) using his attraction to meredith to distract himself from his infatuation with james.

we also have to remember that oliver and james didn’t get their real moment of honesty about their relationship till extremely late into the book. i’d honestly see it as more ‘performative’ to then after or in the middle of kind lear throwing in some wild sex scene between the two. it wouldn't have fit.

“why didn’t james and oliver get together earlier then >:(((“ because the slow burn between them, the subtext, the subtle-ness, the yearning, they were all crucial to the decision which oliver made at the end. the fact that they burned so bright for each other but (oliver particularly) were so desperately repressed, that was what made this such a tragic romance. yes its tiring to read stories about queer people being repressed, yes its tiring to see the bury your gays trope. but like oliver says, it goes beyond gender.

if oliver’s second love interest was a girl, and treated this way, we’d be a lot more on board with these tropes- but the fact that james is a man, and this therefor becomes a queer relationship, makes it feel performative. i can’t convince you of anything- but i like to believe that their relationship being treated like this not only makes it so much more “heart wrenching because why! why couldn’t it work out, why couldn’t it be better!” - not because its a queer relationship but because they were soulmates.

alexander wasn’t performative. not in the slightest, rio just didn’t make being gay his entire identity. same goes for colin. just because they’re queer doesn’t mean it needs to be the only thing about them. this isn’t a lgbt novel- characters dont have to be gay just for plot. they can just be gay.

i’ve also seen people complain about not just making oliver bisexual. guys. did you read the book? he was bisexual. he was emotionally and physically attracted to both meredith and james. guys that’s literally what bisexual means.

i'm totally on board with the coming out scenes! and realisation of feelings and all that stuff- but again, not an lgbt centric novel and also- these were things oliver probably did and realised far before this book. remember that its set in 4th year, at an art school. he knew he was fruity ok. not every queer character in every queer book have to have these grandious coming out scenes or realisations. the lack there of doesn’t equal performance.

the ending was rushed and bad

believe what you will, but i don’t think james is dead. there’s a little too much ambiguity in that ending, in the extract he leaves oliver, in the “his body was never found.” so if your main quarrel with the ending is that “bury your gays” situation- please know there’s a chance- and that giving it that chance opens up so much more discussion and reader response.

yes, the ending is sad. but it’s not rushed. “but that is how a tragedy like ours or king lears breaks your heart- by making you believe the ending might still be happy until the very last second.” doing king lear, doing macbeth, doing romeo and juliet, the plays are chosen not only for reader convenience (they’re plays readers will most likely be familiar with) but also because they all, so very deeply, foreshadow a “bad” ending. killing james, makes sense. as much as people don’t want to hear it, from an authorial perspective- from the reader’s perspective and as a human being it makes sense. why do keep arguing that he “should’ve stayed alive for oliver” or that “if he really loved oliver he wouldn’t have done it” - why are we limiting a character’s entire existence down to their love interest. yes, they were best friends, yes they were set up as lovers but that doesn’t mean that that would be enough to keep james around. james was a fragile character- he was always checking with oliver if he had upset him, he was always worried, overthinking, james wasn’t strong minded- and he was suffering. the only person he had left to depend on was in prison, he was plagued with the guilt of causing the death of a classmate and letting oliver take the blame, if he did kill himself, it sure as hell doesn’t have any reason to sound forced.

“its not nearly as good as the secret history!!!!”

to be honest here buds, why the fuck do we keep comparing them so insistently. they are not the same book. iwwv wasn’t trying to be tsh 2.0, yes there are similarities because hey! guess what! books in similar genres tend to do that! always comparing it tsh when they have different motives, different plots and vastly different execution makes no sense. the only reason that they are compared is because tumblrtm dark academics like to group the two together. and yea- makes sense, but stop trying to belittle iwwv because it isn't as grandiose as tsh, because it’s a little more literal, because it’s not as intertextual as tsh. half the people saying iwwv isn’t as good as tsh are practically just subtly going “shakespeare isn’t as complicated as ancient greek huehue” stop forcing the two together and let them be separately appreciated.

the characters were flat/archetypes/etc

sigh. okay.

these characters are actors. this book shows us their transition from themselves entirely into a conjunction of the roles they’ve played and the stereotypes they’ve portrayed.

“we were so easily manipulated - confusion made a masterpiece of us.”

“for us, everything was a performance”

“imagine having all your own thoughts and feelings tangled up with all the thoughts and feelings of a whole other person. it can be hard, sometimes, to sort out which is which.”

“far too many times i had asked myself whether art was imitating life or if it was the other way around”

“it’s easier now to be romeo, or macbeth, or brutus, or edmund. someone else.”

are you seeing it now? this focus on their archetypes, this focus on the character they are; the way they see themselves not merely as human but as a walking concoction of every character they have turned into and out of. they depend on their archetypes to give them meaning. rio uses these archetypes to remind us of the submersion of her characters. they weren’t flat, their intentional lack of dimension due to their pasts is what makes them so intricate. furthermore, there's an evident subversion- the tyrant becomes a victim, the hero becomes a villain (they all become villains really), the ingenue becomes corrupted. like mentioned before, i think we forget ourselves easily reading this book but there is a great deal of emphasis on this being their last year- which is so important. the damage has been done and a lot of the issues people have with the content (or lack thereof) in this book has to do with the fact that it’s all things that would have occurred in books focusing on previous years at delletcher.

“it didn't live up to expectation” (also leading on from read tsh to this and being ‘disappointed’)

i cant argue this because its entirely subjective. whatever expectation was created for you, i cannot know that and appropriately respond however- if you liked the secret history and understood the secret history then there's a good chance you also liked and understood this book- even if not to the same extent but you must be able to recognize the authorial approach and its significance. i think a lot of ppl read iwwv (and a lot of “dark academia” texts and films) and hope to be able to romanticize the aesthetic or the concepts and then are disappointed when they are presented with mildly unlikeable and overwhelmingly human characters who aren’t easy to romanticize.

a great majority of these books are criticisms of the very culture you’re trying to romanticize, and the only time you’re willing to admit that is when boasting about the ‘self-awareness’ of the people indulging in them, and then a moment later complain about those same qualities because they don’t serve this idealized expectation.

bad rep for arts/liberal arts/ humanities students as being pretentious/cultish

as a humanities student with a great love for eng lit- all of these things are indeed pretentious and cultish. not all the time and not always and not every person- but it is a common theme. academia is overwhelmingly obsessive and extremely white-washed. people become so fast to believe that they are indulging in finer arts and are therefore a higher standard of person. academia is problematic. and the recent influx of people interested in it is good, very good because hopefully, we’ll be more diverse, more open-minded, more accepting. that's what i hope at least. if you know, as an individual, that you’re not a pretentious academic who places themselves above non-academics then that's wonderful- but there are dangers and negative sides to academia that need to be understood so that we can see to not perpetuating them.

i cant refute all points, mostly because there's a lot of good and well-explained criticism because no book is perfect. and my intentions are not to belittle anyone's opinion. these are merely opposing arguments, food for thought and to be fair- a critical look into why not everything is always going to be what we expect of it and why every ‘problem’ can be assessed.

#iwwv #if we were villains #iwwv critism #book review #tsh #dark academia #fanart

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lovinkiri · 3 years

Note

Hi!! I saw you tagged Koda (the underrated love of my life 🥺) on your masterlist, so if you write for him then could I request some headcanons for him please? (SFW or NSFW, I just wanna see my boyyy🥺🥺🥺)

NSFW Masterlist ~ Koji Koda

Author's Thoughts: Our boy Koji! I decided to just make him an NSFW Alphabet as I love making these. If you want some more NSFW headcannons, let me know!

Also, if you ever see someone missing on a Masterlist, always check the tags or the Rules/Characters link.

Warning: Smut.

A = Aftercare (Do they take care of you afterwards? How?)

Sweet boy is so good with aftercare.

I think he's pretty much a switch.

So if he's taking care of you, he'd definitely carry you to the shower and wash you up.

Then its putting you in some loose pajamas

And finally spooning you to sleep, rubbing your tummy 🥺

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of yours? Of themselves?)

He absolutely loves your hands. He loves how soft your skin is and how good your hands feel against his

His favorite is probably also his hands. He loves being able to hold and pet and love you with them.

The best thing ever is when he's gently rocking into you and you intertwine your fingers with his.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum)

His is thick and comes out in large loads, enough to quickly fill you up with one.

And it definitely tastes on the better side.

D = Dirty Secret (A dirty secret of theirs)

Wet dreams are normal but sometimes, he can go every night for a week straight having wet dreams about you.

And all he can do is desperately rut into his pillow, wishing it was you.

E = Experience (Any past experience?)

No, Koji was waiting for the right person and he found that in you.

F = Favorite Position (What's their favorite position?)

He definitely loves to have you ride him.

But if not, mating press is his second alternative 😌👌🏾

G = Goofy (Are they serious or silly during sex?)

Sometimes he makes a joke or two, just to make sure you're still okay and comfy.

You've definitely had soft gentle sex with you giggling breathily between moans. He'd be running his fingertips down your ribs, kissing all over you face and whispering things that you can't help but smile at.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?)

Well there really aren't any drapes, but that won't stop me from giving this man a trimmed happy trail of dark brown hair

I = Intimacy (Are they romantic?)

Yesssss!

Koda is super romantic, always making sure you know he loves you with every thrust

J = Jerk off (How often do they do it? What do they think of?)

Often.

Very often.

At least once a day. Sometimes twice.

Its just he can't get the thought of you lying in bed and doing the same out of his head.

"Hah.. I hope.. You're think of me too.."

K = Kinks (One or more of their kinks)

Bondage, Praise, Light Degradation, Gagging, Mutual Masturbation.

L = Location (Favorite place to do it?)

The kitchen 😍

Fucking you against the counter just does something different for him

M = Motivation (What turns them on?)

Its so easy to turn on him.

But I'd i think a turn on is definitely communication.

Telling him your needs and wants.

Dirty talk.

He loves all that

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do? Turn offs?)

He can't share you.

He wants you to think of him when he's fucking you.

O = Oral (Would they rather give or receive?)

As much as boi l o v e s receiving.

He also l o v e s giving.

I think it just depends of the mood.

P = Pace (Fast? Slow? Gentle? Rough?)

He prefers gently slow.

But he has no issue with being rougher, he'd rather you just take control then though.

Q = Quickie (How do they feel about quickies?)

He definitely doesn't mind them.

He prefers regular sex but quickies are great in the moment.

R = Risks (Do they like taking risks? Do they like to experiment?)

Definitely!

At first, he's shy and let's you come to him.

But once he sees how comfortable you are, he gets comfortable.

Starts coming to you with suggestions of his own.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go?)

Koji can go for at least 2-3 rounds.

T = Toys (Do they use/own toys?)

He's only ever used a ball gag on himself, but he's not against trying other things.

He's definitely used toys on you.

U = Unfair (Do they tease?)

He's not much of a tease and when he does, it doesn't last long.

It includes the occasional "Hm? I didn't quite hear you."

"I'm sorry, did you want me to move?"

"You're so cute begging like that, Y/n"

V = Volume (How loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

Koji can be quite loud, letting out desperate moans as he chases his orgasm.

When he's subbing, there's a lot more whining though.

W = Wild card (Random scenario)

"Ngh, feel so good baby.."

Koji can't help but mumble praises as he grinds his hips into yours. And with every compliment, your cunt squeezes him so well he just can't keep his mouth shut.

Slowly pulling back, he can't help but snap his hips back against yours, watching you grip the sheets and relish in the pleasure.

"Squeezing me so nice and tight.."

X = X Ray (Length, size)

Big dick energy and I stand by that.

Eight thick inches of 🤤

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He can pretty much go any time, his hormones are wild.

Z = Zzz.. (How quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?)

Can't sleep until he knows you're asleep, so it depends on that.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #x reader #koji koda #smut

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ingeniouscollectionthing · 4 years

Text

If you were alive again...(Tom Riddle x Reader)

Part 2

Pairing: Tom Riddle x Reader

Warnings: changed pronouns from you to she/her because it fits the character of the story better, death of a person, not following Harry Potter laws here, slightly out of character Tom Riddle

Part 1

Bitter cold rain was pouring from the clouds in loads, the fog encasing the Manor of Riddle Family. The moon had risen. A body, lifeless and heavy, lay on the old wooden floor. Wide blue eyes stared into darkness, black curls looked dishelved. Death himself stood, black and in silence in a corner of the old house, looking down at a young man standing over his poor poor victim.

“A shame..”, he murmured while crouching down to get a better look of the corpses face. “You were rather good looking”. And he laughed, emotionless and cruel before he turned to leave the mansion.

And the devil fiddled on his violin, happy to welcome a new soul into his realm.

“A shame?”, a voice asked. A sound so angelic and clear, yet so ice cold it sent shivers down the man’s spine. “I find it rather ironic then, that you’re his splitting image”. And it was her turn to laugh.

The man turned around, caught off guard by the sudden appearence of her. His heart made of stone skipped a beat, he hadn’t seen her since their conversation on the astronomy tower.

“(Y/N)....”, he whispered, unable to form words.

The ticking of a clock could be heard, it probably will strike the next hour soon.

“Good evening, Tom”, she whispered. And a beautiful smile grazed her silver face. Tom wondered, if there would be a rosy blush on her cheeks right now. “It’s been a while”, she floated closer to where he stood at the door, frowning as her eyes fell on the dead body lying by her feet.

“A while?”, Tom asked in disbelief. “A while?!”, he stormed straight towards her, trying to grab onto her arms out of angry reflex, yet his hands tightened aorund nothingness. He calmed down again.

“Every day for the past four weeks I have tried to talk to you. Every single night and every following morning I went up to the astronomy tower to maybe get a chance to spend time with you, see your beautiful face, hear your beautiful laugh. I couldn’t find you anywhere”. And he shook his head. “And now here you are, standing in front of me out of nowhere after I just killed my worhtless muggle father?!”

His voice rose with anger again, making her flinch back. Had she been a living being, she would’ve stumbled over the corpse.

“What else was I supposed to do to make you realize that what you want can never happen?”, she whispered, her eyes shining with tears.

“What are you talking about?”, he scoffed, turning away from her.

“You fell in love with a ghost.”, his shoulders rose with tension.

“SO WHAT?!”, Tom screamed. He turned and stalked her way, his eyes gleaming red. “HOW MANY TIMES DID I TELL YOU THAT WE CAN WORK THIS OUT? HOW MANY TIMES DID I TELL YOU THAT I WILL FIND A WAY? WHA-”

“I’M DEAD, TOM”, she shouted and the windows of the old mansion shook uncontrollably as she vanished in a grey cloud. A gust of wind blew through Tom’s curly black hair and she reappeared right in front of him.

Her hands came up to his face and for a moment Tom swore he could feel a warmth craddling his cheeks.

“I’m dead, Tom..”, (Y/N) repeated, softly this time, her cheeks tear stained.

His eyes returned to their beautiful blue-green colour.

“But...”, Tom’s voice broke, “but you don’t have to be any longer...I told you, I’ll find a way. And I did! You can live again, be mine..” His hand reached for somehting in his pocket. A small velvet box, old, black and full of dust. He opened it and it’s content made her gasp.

“After everything I told you, after everything you promised.” She backed away, her voice laced with venom. “You ended up here, on a mindless killing spree out of anger and hate. You killed them, all of them! Your uncle, your father!...and your lust for power drove you to the very things I begged you to let go of.”

It was a ring. A golden band with a single black stone it it’s center.

The resurrection stone. A deathly hallow.

“I did it for you”, Tom calmly said as he inspected the ring.

“You did it for yourself”, (Y/N) replied.

He ripped the stone out of it’s confinement and enclosed it in his palm. His eyes found hers.

“I am damned by the devil's curse upon my heart. Daily I pace the lonely bridge between the hate I have for this world and the love I feel for you, (Y/N). Death's shadow has looked upon me and from the very start of my life I’ve been forsaken by the guiding hand of fate. And I’m haunted..haunted by a score of sinful deeds and up to the day I finally met you,” he approached her shaking form and tried to softly grab her hand, “I thought I had to live a loveless life until I die.”

A soft light enveloped both lovers, one of them a living being, one merely a shadow of what once has been. And as they closed their eyes, Tom’s heart cracked into pieces. Two in fact. One to keep himself alive... one to gift life to his love.

And suddenly Tom felt it. A small hand of warm flesh laced it’s fingers with his. It felt so soft to the touch.

And as both, (Y/N) and Tom looked at each other, both halfs of the same heart, now held captive by two different bodies, skipped a beat.

“Your eyes”, Tom said. “They’re brown”.

_________________________

Dear lovely readers,

here is the second part. I hope you like this one! It’s a bit short again, but I really like this one <3. Let me know what you think! I love you!! Stay safe! Also please don’t mind the specific eye colour at the end, but at in this particular way I found it better than writing (e/c) :)

- ingeniouscollectionthing🐍

taglist

@softlyqoos

#tom riddle x reader #tom riddle x you #young voldemort x reader #tom riddle fluff #harry potter x reader #young voldemort #tom riddle imagines #tom riddle #harry potter

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iliveiloveiwrite · 4 years

Text

love is all you need // G.W. (celebration fic)

Request: Okay one more cause I love you're writing. Can you do a George x Reader friends to lovers trope with fluff prompts 5 and 14?? I appreciate you and everything you do! Congratulations, you deserve it!! ❤❤ - @mischi3f-manag3d

Fluff 5: “Take my bed for the night. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Fluff 14: “How about a kiss?

A/N: Thank you so much! Here is your request! I haven't written for George in so long! This is a load of fluff and a load of comfort. I’m sorry it’s not longer but I hope enjoy anyway!

Pairing: George Weasley x Fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of an argument, mentions of arranged marriages, but it really is a load of fluff.

Word count: 1.8k

You aren’t sure how often you’ve knocked on his door; raised your fist and brayed it against the fading red paint that George always promises he’ll paint over but never does.

It’s no different now as you stand before his door, knocking three times before taking a step back. You glance on either side of you; biting your lip, second-guessing your decision to come here instead of blowing off steam another way.

“(Y/N)?” George greets; opening the door to your harried state, “What’s wrong?”

You blink away the fresh wave of tears; you thought you had cried yourself dry but the familiar burn in the back of your throat proves otherwise. “Can I come in?” You whisper; pointing into the flat he shares with his twin.

George nods; standing aside to let you enter. He won’t outrightly tell you that he’s worried; he’s sure you already know.

“I’m sorry for just showing up,” You mutter; looking down at your hands, shuffling from side to side.

George waves away your apology after shutting the door, “Don’t be. You’re always welcome here.”

You nod your head; throwing yourself onto his couch dramatically only to sit up immediately when you realise the absence of his twin. “Where’s Fred?” You ask.

“At Angelina’s,” George calls, heading to the small kitchen, “Do you want some tea?”

“Love some.” You shout back over the sound of now heating kettle.

George leaves the kitchen; letting the kettle boil. He leans against the doorframe with his arms crossed. With a soft expression on his face, he asks, “What’s wrong?”

You raise an eyebrow, “What makes you think something is wrong?”

George scoffs, “Come on now, love. I’ve known you since Third Year, I know when something is bothering you.”

You sigh heavily, “It’s my parents.”

“What happened?”

You go to open your mouth, but you’re interrupted by the kettle beginning to whistle. George holds up a single finger; telling you to hold that thought as he makes the tea. He’s back in no time, however – handing you your mug before settling on the couch next to you.

With a nod of his head, George tells you to continue.

“I know they mean well, and I know they want the best for me but…” You trail off; feeling that all too familiar lump start to form in your throat.

“But?” George prompts after a moment of silence.

“But I just wish they would stop pushing.”

“On what?”

You throw your arms out wide; almost spilling your tea, “On everything! They’ve never been happy with the fact that I chose to become a professor instead of working in the ministry. They never accepted the fact that I was sorted into Gryffindor and not Slytherin like the both of them. To top it all off, they hate the fact they can’t control me.”

George chuckles lightly; placing a hand on your knee, “Love, tell me something I don’t already know.”

You glare at him, “That’s not the worst part.”

“What is?”

Tears build in your eyes; lining them with silver, “They want me to marry,” You rush out in hushed tones.

“Marry?” George asks; voice astounded.

You nod your head; tears slipping, “They’ve got it all fixed apparently. Found a ‘lovely’ suitor; someone I’m sure to love in time,” You frown, “In time? No. I should already be in love with them if I’m to marry them.”

George sighs; taking both your mugs and placing them gently on the coffee table, “You don’t have to marry them.”

“That’s what I told my parents. That’s why I’m here.”

“How bad was it?”

You laugh mirthlessly, “Bad. I’ve never seen them so angry; kept telling me that the betrothal was already arranged and that for me to back out now would be a stain on the family name. After that, I walked out. I didn’t want to see or listen to them.”

“So you came straight to me?”

You nod; slumping against the redhead as the fight leaves your body, leaving you drained and tired. “I didn’t want to see anyone else; I only wanted to see you.”

George’s heart practically sings at your words; sending a shock of electricity through his body. He’s harboured feelings for you for as long as he can remember; he wouldn’t admit this to another soul, but he has spent so long daydreaming what it would be like to the be the one to hold you on a night and then to be the one whispering good morning before kissing you awake.

He tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear, asking, “What do you plan to do?”

You shrug your shoulders, “The only thing I’m certain of is not going through with the marriage, but I don’t know what will happen with my parents.”

“They need time to cool off,” George comforts, “You all do.”

You nod wordlessly. George shuffles closer to you; wrapping an arm around your shoulders, “Do you want to stay the night? Talk to them in the morning?”

You peak up at George from under your lashes. Nodding, you answer, “Please.”

George nods, smiling at you reassuringly, “Take my bed for the night. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

You shake your head; holding onto the redhead that little bit tighter, “Stay with me?”

His eyes narrow; unsure, “Are you sure? I don’t mind, it’s quite a comfy couch.”

You roll your eyes at his attempt at humour, standing from said couch and checking the clock, “I’m sure. Let’s go to bed, George.”

George takes your outstretched hand; pulling himself up from the couch. You’re both exceptionally quiet as he leads you to his room; it’s not like you haven’t been in there before, but this meant something more to the both of you.

Dropping your hand, George rifles through his drawers, grabbing some old clothes of his for you to wear through the night.

“Are these okay?” He asks quietly; holding out an old t-shirt and some joggers.

You take them from him; rising up on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. Pulling away, you whisper, “Thank you, George.”

Shutting the door to the bathroom, you catch sight of yourself in the mirror. The upset and the anger caused by your parents has dissipated leaving behind only excitement and anticipation alight in your eyes. You didn’t think that George would agree to sharing a bed with you despite having done so in the past, but you didn’t want to be alone, and all you wanted more than anything was to be held by him.

The reflection in the mirror smiles at the hope in your face. The reason for being so adamant with your parents about the arranged marriage was that you had already given your heart to another, and he was just outside the door getting ready for bed. Your heart was never stolen by the Weasley; in fact, you gave it quite willingly, handing it over to him unknowingly through your time with him at Hogwarts.

He’s owned your heart and has been the main character in all of your daydreams since you were a teenager worried about essays and Quidditch try outs.

You put George’s t-shirt on; inhaling the familiar scent of gunpowder and honeysuckle.

Leaving the bathroom, you find that George has already slipped into bed. He’s pressed himself against the wall; giving you the option of wanting to leave the bed should you change your mind through the night.

You share a small laugh as you slide into bed next to him; settling under the covers, feeling more at ease now than you had all night.

“It’s going to be okay,” George whispers.

“I know, I believe you,” You reply, and you did. You believe him wholeheartedly; he may throw pranks and make jokes, but George is well aware when he needs to be serious and is always there with open arms and a patient ear.

You feel his shrug under the covers, “Besides, if not, we’ll run away together.”

Smiling, you answer, “An entirely too tempting idea, Weasley.”

He beams at you and with a flick of a switch, George turns out the light and the room is sent into darkness.

There’s something about the dark that makes men brave; that make it easier to confront truths and feelings. There’s something about the dark that is made for lovers; grazes of fingers and the brushes of lips.

It starts with an outstretch of hands; fingers bumping clumsily in the limited light of the room. Smile grow on both faces as they become tangled; his fingers wrapping around yours tightly.

It follows with him bringing your hand to his lips; placing a gentle kiss on the back of it before letting it drop back down to the space between you both.

In the dark, George finally whispers what’s been on the tip of his tongue since you announced it, “Don’t marry him. Fight it, please.”

You turn onto your side. You can just about make out the outline of his figure in the dark, but you don’t need to see his face to know that those words cost him. Even though can’t see you, you shake your head, “I’ll fight it tooth and nail.”

George releases a long sigh; his hand squeezes yours as he says, “I want a chance.”

“A chance at what?” You ask; throat constricting with the hope rushing up from your stomach.

“A chance to be with you,” He whispers; the words taking shape and filling the room. He runs a hand down his face, “Merlin, (Y/N), I’m mad for you.”

“You are?”

He nods; moving closer to you. You meet him halfway; almost startling when you feel his body align itself with yours.

“I’m mad for you too as it happens,” You comment lightly; your voice filled with emotion.

The thick tension leaves the room upon the uttering of your words leaving behind an atmosphere filled with relief and happiness. George laughs as he turns onto his side, utterly delighted at your words; tangled hands forgotten as he reaches for you. One of his hands slips underneath you as the other wraps around your waist; he holds you to him, pressing kiss after kiss to your hair.

You fist a hand in his t-shirt; the other one slipping underneath, running your nails across the toned expanse of his stomach. He shivers at the feel of your touch, twining your legs together so there isn’t a part of you that isn’t touching.

Tilting your head back, you run your nose up the length of his neck. Humming at the intoxicating scent of his skin – the honeysuckle becoming stronger the closer you are to him.

“George?”

He hums; arms instinctively tightening around you, “Yes?”

A wicked grin breaks out across your face; all thoughts about parents and marriage disappear as you look into the face of the man you love and ask, “How about a kiss?”

George doesn’t need to be asked twice.

******** General (HP) taglist: @chaotic-fae-queen @obsessedwithrandomthings @harrypotter289 @kalimagik @heloisedaphnebrightmore @nebulablakemurphy @the-hufflefluffwriter @figlia--della--luna @bforbroadway @idont-knowrn @birdie-writes @big-galaxy-chaos @black-lake-confessions @annasofiaearlobe @imboredandneedalife @levylovegood @mytreec @haphazardhufflepuff @teheharrypotter @chaoticgirl04 @accio-rogers @msmimimerton @izzytheninja @slytherinprincess03 @acciotwinz @kashishwrites @kylosleftbuttcheek @xfirstfemale-marauderx @dreaming-about-fanfictions @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon

George Weasley taglist: @susceptible-but-siriusexual

#george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley imagine #george weasley fluff #george weasley x y/n #george weasley x you #george x reader #george x you #george x y/n #george fluff #x reader #george weasley reader insert #reader insert #fluff #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #hp fanfic #hp fanfiction #my writing

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gubler-me-up · 4 years

Text

Big, Open Arms (MGG request)

Request: Hi, a MGG request for you. You're a famous comedian and are cast as the new agent for CM. The cast/crew all love you, even before you come on set as you're hilarious, especially Matthew which EVERYONE knows about. As a huge fan of the show you're nervous, but you get welcomed into the CM family pretty quickly, and adore them all. You become best friends with Matthew, and after a while he asks you out on a date, and you say yes then after the media get involved, Matthew asks you to be his gf.

A/N: Thanks for the request, anon! This was a fully loaded request, so I hope I encompassed every aspect to your liking! Hope you enjoy!!

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff

Content warning: None

Word count: 2.5k

——————–

You were rehearsing your lines before you had to go on set for the day. You had to admit you sucked at memorizing lines, so there were a lot of blooper reals of you stumbling over your words. You hadn’t even been part of the Criminal Minds cast for a whole year yet. Good thing the cast and crew understood how hard it was to memorize masses of technical dialogue.

Your character was named Bianca Johnson, an SSA with a background in technology. She was basically Garcia, but could kick ass instead of petting cute animals. A lot of your lines were heavy technical geek talk, which was hard to say in a scene, let alone the whole episode. Whenever you messed up you’d joked around and said Shemar’s biceps were distracting you from actually getting your lines right.

Your favourite scenes were with Matthew though. He was such a great actor and hilarious as well. When you first introduced yourself to him he told you he thought you were such a hilarious comedian. One of his favourites actually. You told him your greatest joke of all time was landing the role of such a smart character when you only had two functioning brain cells. He let out a hardy laugh before agreeing with you by saying he also had barely functioning brain cells.

Everyone was full of the same excited energy when they met you. It was like having a family gathering every time you were on set. AJ was the sweetest, coolest person you’ve ever met, Shemar was charming, Paget was completely down to earth and Kirsten was such a character. Matthew was the standout cast member for you though. His portrayal of Dr. Spencer Reid was amazing to watch on T.V., but was even more amazing to watch in real life.

He would just spur out lines on lines of facts without messing up once. When he did though it was funny and adorable. You’d try to cover your laugh every time, but he would automatically turn to look at you with a goofy smile. Your laugh would escape immediately and then everyone else would join along.

You looked up from your script as you heard two loud bangs on your door. You looked at the time on your phone and saw it was already 8:55 a.m.

“Y/N, set in five,” you heard the producer yell.

“I’m surprised you’re here early today, Jeff,” you joked.

You heard him laugh. “If Shemar can be early on set anything’s possible, right?”

You gasped. “Shemar’s on set before I am? I have to see this.”

You got up from your chair and rushed towards the door to leave for set. Before you left, you went back to your mirror. You fluffed up your hair and adjusted your breasts. You wanted to make sure you were presentable as possible. For the camera, of course.

As you walked on set you were greeted with a welcoming hug from AJ. She literally gave the most mom-like hugs ever. It was comparable to eating cookies from the cookie jar.

“Happy wrap day,” she said as she let you go.

“I can’t believe we’re wrapping the season already. I feel as if we’ve only been filming for a week,” you said.

“I know, time flies around here. One second you’re in season one and then boom you’re in season 15,” she said.

“If I can look flawlessly good throughout 15 seasons like you I think I can get used to this job.”

She giggled and playfully rolled your eyes. “Are you kidding me? You always look so great. Trust me, a little someone keeps talking about how great you are.”

You looked at her curiously. If she was talking about who you thought she was talking about than you were ecstatic. Shemar, her and some crew members had told you when you first joined that Matthew was a huge fan of yours. Had talked about you quite a few times during the downtime on set.

“More Matthew gossip? I’m in,” you heard Shemar say from behind you.

You turned around and smiled at him. “Well, well, when Jeff said you were early on set I didn’t believe it, but now that I see it with my own eyes I still can’t believe it.”

He chuckled. “Well, baby, here I am in the flesh. If it’s opposite day maybe you’ll have a flawless run with your lines.”

“Good one. Maybe we should trade characters so I can look hot and kick down doors while you talk nerdy to me.”

“You don’t have to kick down doors in your case to look hot, Y/N. I think a certain someone thinks you’re pretty hot as is.”

You gave him a suspicious stare before looking back at AJ. She smiled and looked around the set. You folded your arms as you were waiting for further details to be spilled. They both remained quiet as you stood there waiting. Good thing your attention was soon shifted towards Matthew when you saw him walk on set. You unfolded your arms and softened your face up as you saw how good he looked.

“I guess this is our cue to go, AJ,” Shemar chuckled.

“I agree. See you in the bullpen, Y/N,” AJ said before she left with Shemar.

“Yeah,” you faintly said as you stared at Matthew.

He hadn’t noticed you. He seemed to be looking for someone though as his head continuously darted around the room. When he finally turned your way, his face instantly lit up. He lightly jogged towards you with a big smile on his face. It was as if he was looking for you.

“Hey, Y/N. Happy wrap day,” he said before embracing you in a hug.

You hugged him back. “Happy wrap day, Matt. What adventures are you going to get up to after we wrap?”

“Well, that’s kinda why I was looking for you. I was going to ask you that same exact question.”

“I don’t have anything booked until later next month, so I’m going to be relaxing mostly. Why what’s up?”

“Well, remember when we went to that Arcade Fire concert a few months ago?”

You smiled and nodded. “If you mean the best experience of my life than yes.”

He chuckled. “I’m glad you liked it. Vegas always holds the Life Is Beautiful Music and Art Festival and I was wondering if you were free to go.”

You felt your heart pumping with delight at him inviting you to go to his hometown. The last few months of your friendship were situated strictly in California. You had never really explored Vegas outside of a few shows at hotels and theatres on the strip.

“You wanna take me on a Vegas adventure?” You asked.

“Something like that.”

Before you could say your answer, the set bell rang. Sometimes that stupid bell could be so annoying, especially when you had a moment like this with Matthew. You don’t think there had ever been a more intimate moment between you two.

He smiled. “Think about it.”

As he started to walk off towards the bullpen set, you ran up to him to hug him from behind. He was caught off guard by your hug, but grabbed your hands that clung in front of him. You could say it was the first time you two had held hands.

“I’d love to go.”

“Awesome.”

—————

Going to Vegas with Matthew was such a different experience than anything you had ever done before. Everywhere he took you felt as if it were a new chapter in a life you’ve never lived. You always found Vegas cliche in its gimmicks and exaggerated neon lights. However, Matthew made it seem as if it were a faraway land yet to be discovered.

He showed you to little places outside of the flashy hotels and bright neon lights that filled the strip. You two spent a lot of time at ranches nearby. You told him since the first day you two met how much you loved animals, so going to those ranches was a dream come true.

What you weren’t expecting though was going to the ranch his mother owned. When you two were driving there, you felt your heart beating fast. You had never met his mother before but you knew he was a big mama’s boy. Even with all the nerves running through your body, you felt honoured to be meeting his mother. You didn’t even know whether to consider this whole trip a big first date or what, but it was something you weren’t expecting to happen.

You had a feeling Matthew had a crush on you for a while and the feeling had always been mutual. Guess the both of you had been crushing on each other through a screen for all these years. To be together in that moment was borderline unreal and probably long overdue.

“We’re here,” he said as he pulled up to the ranch.

You looked around the area. It was massive. Just a stretch of land with no buildings in sight. It was beautiful. You looked at Matthew with a huge contagious smile. He couldn’t help smiling back.

“Your mom knows beauty,” you said.

He laughed. “Yeah, I guess she does.”

“I mean if she created you she definitely knows what beauty is.”

He grabbed your hand and squeezed it. It was his fifteenth time holding your hand. Not like you were counting or anything. You blushed as he moved your hand closer to his lips and kissed it twice.

“I’m glad you came, Y/N. I’ve been meaning to ask you on a date for the longest time, but I couldn’t think of the perfect date to take you on,” he confessed.

“Matthew, you literally could have taken me to 7/11 for a shitty cup of coffee and I would have had the time of my life,” you said.

He laughed. “Well, even though 7/11’s cool, I thought you might like a trip to Vegas and concert better.”

“I have to say this is probably one of my favourite first dates ever. I just feel as if it’s missing a little je ne sais quoi.”

“A little je ne sais quoi you say.”

You then saw him let go of your hand and reach for the side of your neck. He brought you in closer as his face moved closer to yours. You hated dramatics, so you rushed in and embraced him with an enormous kiss. You grabbed his face to deepen the kiss. You had never been so excited to kiss anyone in your entire life. The way he kissed you was just different.

You two pulled apart from the kiss before anything went any further. You knew you were satisfied with that kiss but the way Matthew beamed made you believe he was even more satisfied. You covered your face with your hand as you couldn’t stop smiling to yourself.

“I didn’t mean to attack you like that,” you joked.

He chuckled. “No, no, it was great. Maybe we could continue this after we go see my mom.”

You smiled ear-to-ear. “I couldn’t dream of anything better.”

The two of you got out of the car to go greet his mom as she walked out to where he had parked his car. Her smile was just as magnetic as his. You were automatically drawn into her. So much so you found yourself approaching her ready to give her the biggest hug ever. She wasn’t shy to embrace you with big, open arms. It felt as if you were already apart of his family.

————

Back in your trailer to film another season of Criminal Minds and you thought you could get better at memorizing your lines. You didn’t. You swore to yourself you would get better over the summer break, but that plan went out the window as soon as Vegas happened. Matthew had turned what was supposed to be a mundane summer into a long-lasting experience. A long-lasting experience with a lot of making out and wandering hands.

You looked at your watch and saw you had a few minutes to kill before you had to go on set. You tossed your script aside and reached for your phone. The lines could wait a minute or several as you indulged in looking through Twitter.

You scrolled down your timeline, liking and retweeting a few things that caught your eye. One thing caught your eye in particular though. It was from TMZ out of all gossip media showing pictures of you and Matthew holding hands and kissing just a few days ago when you two went to the beach. They must have been hidden well because you knew for a fact no one was around the area you two set up.

Your shock was interrupted when a few knocks were made at your door. You put down your phone and picked up your script to pretend you were still trying to memorize your line. You knew if it was Jeff coming in he’d much rather see you trying to memorize your lines than scrolling through Twitter.

“Come in,” you said.

You saw Matthew come in with a sheepish smile on. You looked at him strange as you had never seen him seem so shy. Then you saw a magazine in his hand. You could only guess what it was. He held up the magazine, so you could see it. Right on the front cover was a picture of you on top of Matthew making out with him on the beach.

You smiled. “At least People Magazine finally put some eye candy on the front page.”

“I didn’t even know they were allowed to publish pictures of soft porn,” he chuckled as he handed you the magazine.

You laughed. “In this day and age anything’s possible.”

“Anything huh?”

He took your hand to take you out of your seat. You gladly got up as you tossed the script and magazine on your vanity. He pulled you in close as his hands moved from your hands to your waist. If this was his way of proposing a quickie in your trailer, you weren’t about to turn him down.

“If anything’s possible, how about we make it official?” He asked.

You would have screamed out of delight, but you were worried he might take it back if you did. You did the next best thing that had come to mind and grabbed his face, so you could kiss him. He wrapped his arms around your waist and embraced the kiss even further. The only reason you two broke apart was because you could hear the director calling everyone to set.

“I guess we should go before this ends up being our last season,” you said as you let go of him.

“I think it might be your last season if you can’t remember those lines,” he joked.

You laughed. “If I can still have you at the end of the day I’d be okay with that. Besides, I think Vegas might have an opening for me.”

—–

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#spencer reid #dr. spencer reid #dr.spencer reid #mgg #mgg imagine #mgg fanfiction #mgg x reader #mgg x y/n #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler request #matthew gray gubler fluff #Criminal Minds #criminalminds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #matthew gray gubler imagine

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ladyeliot · 3 years

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It’s been a long, long time

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Summary: You never knew what fate had in store for you, as if it was testing what it had offered you one day it took away from you the next. It was almost four years after Steve gave himself up to save the world, but you had never given up hope of being with him again.

Warnings: Angst. Disappearance. Fluff ending.

Word count: 2883

A/N: Captain America First Avenger / Avengers Endgame. Some of the dialogue is taken from the film. Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

Song: It’s been a long, long time - Harry James

1949.

The rumours of his possible return were fading with time, but hopes were not falling.

Nearly four years had passed since the end of the Second World War, and the consequences were soon felt worldwide, especially by those who had survived that tragic period. You had been present from start to finish, being a potent participant in the covert operations linking the US and the UK. Although you had not been on the front line fighting as a soldier, you had been on the front line commanding the actions they would take. In 1939 you became a member of the British Royal Military, then a recommendation from a superior officer led to you joining the Special Operations Executive, a British spy agency, changing your destiny, causing MI5 to contact you, and then you were seconded to the Strategic Scientific Reserve, a top-secret Allied war agency during World War II, created by President Roosevelt. Too many things happened in a single year, too many things that would change the course of your history, but the most important was yet to happen.

In 1943 you were assigned to Colonel Chester Phillips' training base, known as Camp Lehigh, where you were assigned to supervise the candidate division of Project Renaissance, the project that changed everything. Project Renaissance was a highly secret project run by the United States Government. Its aim was to create super soldiers to be deployed during World War II against the Axis powers, thus having a great advantage in strategic warfare, however things didn't go as planned and they only had one success, a young man from Brooklyn named Steve Rogers.

You could never deny that you didn't notice him the first moment you saw him, he instantly caught your attention in two ways. The first of them was his physical shape, he stood out for his small stature compared to the other cadets, and his physical appearance looked sickly, although his medical record didn't say anything about it. On the other hand, the other aspect that impressed and inspired you was his courage and endurance to face each of the tests they had to pass, as well as his cunning, all of which won you over, as well as the generals of the project, as he was selected for the Renaissance project. The time you spent together at Camp Leigh made you realise the determination and humility he possessed, traits that the other members of the group, or any other man you had met before, possessed only to a slight degree.

The day the experiment was carried out, that is, the injection of the Super Soldier serum into Steve was another turning point in your life, the young man who went into that machine was not the same as the one who would come out of it, at least for everyone present, a human being went in and a super soldier came out, although for you he was still the same Steve Rogers with 30 centimetres more height and greater muscle mass. From then on he became the secret weapon that would overthrow Hitler, as the leader of the project, Dr. Erskine, was killed which meant that Steve was the only one of his kind.

You would have liked to have been able to say that your relationship was moving towards a more effective environment, but you were really living in a period of war, plus your character did not easily fit in with the word love, it never really did, or rather, you had never shown any interest in any man. You were rude, you had suffered enough harassment in your job, a job by and for men, to become insensitive in several cases. You were selective with your friends and also with the people you could trust, that's why every time you felt any affection for someone you stopped it, and that's what happened with Steve at the beginning.

Frankly, there were not too many moments to show your affection for each other, nor to enrich it, but every occasion that brought you together, there were certain feelings in the air that were never expressed in words. You encouraged him to be more than a lab rat or a fair hand for the soldiers at the front, you also helped him from your position with the missions, which after his triumph in rescuing the soldiers of the 107th infantry, were assigned to him. You complemented each other, you understood each other in many aspects that no one had ever understood, you had faith in him and he in you, that is why deep inside you were waiting for the day when the war would end to discover what it would be like to be able to dance with him without any worries around you, but it was not that simple.

As if the universe itself was mocking you, everything it had offered you was taken away in a breath. Even if you had never extrapolated it, your heart shrank every time he marched on a mission in enemy territory, you used to find yourself behind the controls of the base of operations that commanded his missions waiting for his voice or news from him to indicate what the situation was, but the last time what you saw was different. It was all a consequence of your attack on HYDRA HQ, you had worked out a strategy to take out their leader, the Red Skull, Steve was inside and you later came in with the assault guard and became part of the operation. Things had gone a little shaky during the operation, as the Red Skull managed to gain access to a ship and almost escaped from the place, but at that moment you appeared as if you were a breath of air together with Colonel Chester Phillips to offer him the last chance for Steve to finish him off and gain access to the inside of the ship that was about to escape, but not before sharing your first and last kiss. Every day you remember the last words you said to him in person "Go get him." before watching him jump into the plane and disappear into the snowy mountains.

After that, the ship became a direct path to death unbeknownst to you. A few hours later, from the command post, you managed to maintain a direct connection with the ship, specifically with Steve who was still inside it.

"Come in. This is Captain Rogers. Do you read me?" you all heard from the intercom.

"Steve, is that you? Are you alright?" your heart raced as it did every time he was away from you on a mission.

"Y/N! Schmidt's dead.

That brought a breath of relief that neither of you had experienced for a long time, you could see a little light at the end of the tunnel that was getting closer and closer to you, but what you heard next put the light out again.

"What about the plane?" you asked still worried about his situation.

"That's a little bit tougher to explain," Steve's words were choppy.

It really was complicated, the plane was loaded with explosive devices and was clearly headed for New York City, that meant there was only one possibility and you all knew what it was. You tried to talk him out of it, to find a new solution, but time was running out.

"Y/N, this is my choice," a lump formed in your throat at those words. "Y/N?"

"I'm here," you managed to say with watery eyes and a hand to your lips.

"I'm gonna need a rain check on that dance," you heard through the intercom, as a sharp gust of air rushed in between his words.

"Alright," you hid a soft sob. "A week, next Saturday, at the Stork Club."

"You got it," he said firmly, making it seem real that he was going to show up there on Saturday.

"Eight o'clock on the dot. Don't you dare be late. Understood?"

"You know, I still don't know how to dance," a wistful smile appeared on your face at his words.

"I'll show you how. Just be there," you said almost begging him.

"We'll have the band play somethin' slow," Steve picked up the pace of his words, "I'd hate to step on your...

That was the last time you heard his voice, the line connecting the intercom to Steve went static with a soft continuous noise, that's when the tears flowed freely down your cheeks.

"Steve? Steve? Steve?"

Of course, life puts us all to the test, we believe we need redemption for the acts committed in the past, that often makes us lose hope that better times will come. Almost four years have passed since those last events, since you shared your first and last kiss with your Captain America, since you heard his last words and since you felt that thing called love. Now your life had been turned upside down, you had dreamed for too long of meeting him, of seeing his face again and not only through those war films, but your life went on and you couldn't keep yourself stuck thinking about him, that's why you had decided to leave the Strategic Scientific Reserve and go into a new project with Howard Stark, called S.H.I.E.L.D.

It was unusual for the month of January to have that warm morning out, although it was actually quite comforting as it had brightened up your day, and even when you got home you opted to start cooking to the rhythm of whatever song was playing on the radio, which was unusual for you. The open windows allowed the sun's rays to stream into the living room, offering that homely touch that the little house in the middle of a residential neighbourhood lacked. Due to your countless projects and missions in the SSR you had not been able to enjoy home life as much as you would have liked, although it was really your decision, that house was too quiet and too big for you alone, although the radio offered you the company you sometimes needed.

As if it were a special event you had brought out the table linen and arranged the table in the parlour to eat there for the first time, normally you used the table in the kitchen, for you did not waste too much time on your meals, but this day was a new beginning, a new year, a good time to work out new habits. You opted to open a bottle of wine, which had been a gift from your dear friend Howard Stark, and poured yourself a glass while you waited for the chicken to make its acquaintance in the oven. The rhythmic melody of Nat King Cole along with your glass of wine lifted spirits that hadn't been this high for some time.

"Love is all that I can give to you," you intoned as you walked around the kitchen.

The midday seemed to be going smoothly, until a crashing noise from the front door brought you to a screeching halt. "Ogh, Mrs. Foster," you said to yourself before taking a sip from your glass of wine to fill your spirits. Mrs Foster was the neighbour from across the street who was always knocking on your door whenever she could, hoping to whisper about the other neighbours and glean as much information about you as possible, the funny thing was that she always barged in at the most inopportune times.

"I'm coming!" you exclaimed, taking off your apron and placing it on the counter. "I'm there!"

When you reached the front door you took five seconds to exhale the air inside you, position your dress correctly, take another breath, roll your eyes and expose a wide grin before you very quickly lowered the door handle. We've been talking before about all the turning points that changed your life and shaped your destiny, okay, that was one of them, maybe the most important one of all, the one that set the rest of your life on track.

"Hello Mrs. Fos-!"

Your voice disappeared, your vocal cords seemed to break at that moment, your wide, false smile also vanished as if it had never been on your face, your eyes seemed to have no eyelids and your lungs ran out of air, leaving you breathless. What you saw when you opened that door was your whole life, every moment appeared in front of you as if it were a frame. They say that happens when you are about to die, but it happened to you when the person you had loved had returned from the dead and was prostrate before you. You couldn't tell whether your reaction was the most humane or what someone else would have done in your place because you had never met anyone who had. Soldiers sometimes took long months to return home after the war ended, but it had taken Steve almost four years to do so.

Perhaps there had been hundreds or thousands of times you had imagined that moment, and now you didn't know what to do, your limbs were stiff, you were grateful for it or you would have collapsed in those moments. You kept holding the doorknob tightly, while he stood there on your porch staring at you, not knowing what to do. They were the longest minutes of your whole life, or maybe they were only a few seconds, you didn't know how time worked in those moments, but that didn't matter, your emotions recovered when you looked into his eyes, those blue eyes that you had dreamed of so many nights and they were watery, that was the sign that told you that this was not a dream, it was real life.

The air opened again and passed through your lungs in the form of a gasp, you shared the wateriness of his eyes in yours and in a moment you were wrapped in his arms. You could feel him again, or rather you could feel him around you for the first time. His arms were around your back bringing your body closer to his.

"You're... here." you murmured against his chest almost afraid that your words would make him disappear again.

"I'm home," he whispered against your forehead before kissing it and pulling away to look at your face.

It really was him, you noticed the odd changed feature, as if the years had passed him by more quickly, but there was no doubt that it was Steve. He placed his hands on your cheeks cradling your face, that sensation made you close your eyes as you placed your hands on his. Gingerly, you felt his breath collide against you and the longing for his lips that had haunted you for so many years came to an end.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, leaning his forehead against yours.

"No, you're home," you murmured, taking his hand and bringing his palm to your lips.

The open windows of the living room let out the melody of the radio, as if it were one of those Hollywood feature films with its own soundtrack. For a few long minutes you stood there on the porch of your house, oblivious to everything around you, oblivious to curious stares or if the chicken was burning in the oven, there was nothing more relevant than the two of you.

After a few minutes without taking your eyes off each other you took his hand and went inside your home, there were no unnecessary questions, no comments that could break the moment, your gazes were pleased to observe each other and as if your thoughts were connected and the person in charge of playing the songs on the radio knew it, one of Steve's favourite songs began to play. Harry James' voice came into the room, giving you the moment you had wanted for four years in your case, but for Steve it had been many more.

“Never thought that you would be

Standing here so close to me

There's so much I feel that I should say

But words can wait until some other day”

His arm found position around your waist and your face found position on his chest. You listened to his heartbeat work to the rhythm of the melody, you could never have imagined ever feeling like this again, you would have made a pact with the devil on too many occasions to feel it. It was so unreal that you had to lift your face from his chest to look at his face again, to find out if it really was Steve in front of you, it was.

“Kiss me once, then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again

It’s been a long, long time

Haven't felt like this, my dear

Since I can't remember when

It’s been a long, long time”

Life had offered you a new opportunity to enjoy it together, and you were never going to miss it.

“You'll never know how many dreams

I've dreamed about you

Or just how empty they all seemed without you

So kiss me once, then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again

It's been a long, long time”

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