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prettynalilmagic · 16 days

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ℙ𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝔸 ℂ𝕒𝕣𝕕: 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕜- ℝ𝕖𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟

Decks: Considerate Cat Tarot Vol 2, The Dark Mirror, Tarot of Pagan Cats, The Wild Unknown Archetypes

This reading will be shadow work based on what exactly are we repressing and not aware of. And how to work through it with advice from me and tarot. Take everything as a small guide, tarot is a tool for guidance and not to see or predict the future.

Pile one

First things first, Go get therapy.

"Its not about choosing the chains.

Its about choosing them again and again."

Pile one welcome to your little section. So, I had a theme card for your overall shadow, which was Addicted. At first, I was troubled with finding out exactly what type of addiction was causing you to repress your shadow, and I kept pulling cards and I realized that your shadow is built on way too many situations that come back to your dissatisfaction from your life. Pile One your addicted to hating yourself. You have heavy cards that show me that there’s this feeling of self-inflicted despair. Your shadow emits contempt for life, you hate yourself and honestly hate life overall. The hanged Man in reverse shows me that you grew up very much internally, most of your experiences are based inwardly as you felt left behind on life. Everyone seemed to reject you. Your loved ones, and people who are supposed to be close, turned their backs on you at some point so in turn you did the same. The world rejected you growing up. Life showed you, that you aren’t deserving of love, so you internalized that and have subconsciously clung onto that delusion.

Pile one do you feel like nothing can change you? Nothing can fix you? That things will stay the same or get worse over time? Have you even thought about how you feel about yourself truly? When was the last time you willingly reflected on your own self-image? Do you think there's any motivation for you to live your life beyond what traps you? Going back to your theme card, your repression is very much self-imprisoned. You don’t see you can work through any internal conflict and you in turn have been chaining your own self to depression. Nobody is perfect, that's true, but self-discovery is beautiful however it's also difficult. This won't be an easy task.

Mentally, you’re at rock bottom almost every day. Do you dissociate a lot? Do you even know if you do? Because I recently discovered that I dissociate a whole lot throughout my life and have never known I was doing it. Human brains are truly mind blowing, it can take and hold so much stress and pain, then hide it away from us so when we don’t keep reliving and feeling all that hurt.

Nobody wants to struggle and be depressed, and our brain very much plays a part in helping us hide it away. Chances are you downplay or don’t care to think or consider your own shadow self.

I'm not fit to diagnose, but pile one look into Complex Trauma, C-PTSD, and being Shame Bound. Learn about various types of traumas, habits, and attachment styles on YouTube it will help you get a rough idea on understanding what you need to improve on without using therapy. However, please if you can, look into seeing a psychologist and a therapist.

I know life is super tough as it is for you and you might not be able to afford it but research if there's anything you can afford and if you truly have searched, look into self-help groups online and self-help programs as well. There are free eBooks you can illegally get, pirate that shit. Get a tarot deck for yourself and do shadow work readings. Also please stop reading all the dumbass future partner and next lover readings, invest love into your own damn self before investing it onto some person you most likely haven’t even met or aren’t going to meet. Sorry it's a pet peeve of mine. Chances are you’re reading this on your phone or computer, get on the notes app and write out that little ass of yours. Please there’s still so many ways to make your own mental stability easier on yourself. There's so much stuff you can do if you truly look into it, I recommend watching Patrick Teahan, Heidi Priebe, Psych2Go, and Kati Morton, they're my personal favorite therapy youtubers, and they can help you.

Okay going back to the cards, and not my own personal input, the hanged man in reversed also shows me that it was your environment growing up that has formed you into who you are. Life for you looked like everything was so big and almost outta reach for you to grasp, but you’re still here, you have developed habits that has made growing up easier, you learn to get by.

Which leads me to the present, you got the 9 of cups, meaning that your experiences have made you who you are. It ties back to all those built of moments of isolation and lack of love for yourself that you grew up with. Obviously when we grow up knowing others are treating or making you feel some type of way, you take from that and build your mindset on all those experiences.

This hatred is what we use to get by and we build ourselves up to work with our hatred. You know you felt like you are replaceable or have a deep fear of being left behind, we go outta our way to justify being the ones to leave others and replace other people with anything else to get that same feeling, until the same trigger happens. It's a never-ending cycle and growing up it can actually be helpful. As a child we only experienced all the heavy emotions and were not shown consistent or significant amount of effort for our needs, so we learn to not expect that and run away from anything that triggers that little child in you. No one was there to show love so obviously unhealthy habits and mindsets get developed and grow up with us and only gets worse and worse as time flies by. Pile one, you are depressed and hopeless but cheer up, just because your life hasn’t been the best does not equate to that being a set-in stone reality for the rest of your life.

You can make your own life better; the daughter of cups reverse shows me that there's this desire to play around with stuff, just do it. Stop thinking about it, do it. Fuck shit up, stop being afraid of messing stuff up, you think the ones who have hurt you stopped when they were making you feel not cared for or loved? Nope, so just have fun.

Do that fun hobby idea you been thinking about. Get messy with life, even if it is creating something very sloppy. You want to express yourself some type of way but feel like you shouldn’t? Well just do it, even if you feel like a joke or an idiot just try it and see how it feels. Even if you don’t necessarily want to do something or show off a different look or skill, and your more so afraid of making mistakes and not being perfect, just push that thought to the back of your head.

If you spill your drink and make a mess, guess what you can clean it up, you don't have to get mad at yourself or at the drink. Shit happens, and why should you submerge yourself into all the small things with these big emotions like anger and sadness. Relax and rest those pretty eyes. Which goes into your last main card, Four of Swords. Again, relax for once, don’t guilt yourself. Everyone who has it easy, allows themself to relax from time. Even if they don’t doesn't mean that you should do the same thing. Have fun, learn more about who you are and why you are here. There’s so much self-sabotage that goes unnoticed by everyone.

Learn from yourself, thank who you had to become to get to here, and learn how to work past that when that shadow side doesn't help you anymore. You don’t have to 100% love yourself to overcome your shadow. Because here’s the thing, you’re not overcoming it, you’re learning to accept it and work with it to do better. Your shadow is who you are and use it to your ability to grow. Pile one get outta here and watch some therapy videos pls, you will be happier even for just a second.

Pile Two

"What I can't have forever, I will have for a minute. What I can't have for a minute, I will hold to me for one second."

Hello pile two, welcome to your pile. I assume for the most part your shadow is not something you shy away from because quite frankly there's not a significant amount of repression that is being displayed; I feel like this kind of shifted into a little bit of a motivational reading from your guides to tell you about one specific flaw in you rather to tackle down one serious hindering issue.

You guys got two theme cards for your theme of the overall shadow side that you're repressing. I pulled Masquerade and Queen of my world, for you pile two. Both cards have one thing in common. Both are attached to the word Bargain. Which tells me that you tend to do the most to procrastinate the process of bad emotions or habits. Masquerade is all about living in the moment and doing everything in your power to savor and dwell into the fleeting moments you so desperately want to hold onto and stick to. Queen of my world is all about holding onto a facade that hinders the possibility of being seen as anything other than graceful and powerful. You also pulled the daughter of wands in reversed. Which tells me that you procrastinate as well, and you can honestly be very disorderly as well.

You repress your shadow self because of how uncomfortable you are for being seen as who you wish you could be.

You know when we live our whole lives trying to maintain a certain image, it can be so hard and honestly draining. It makes sense why you want to slack off and just live in the moment because maintaining the way you think you have to come off to other people is very draining and if you think about it, your facade is stressful weather you are or aren't aware of it. Having live off of short moments and a false persona is only going to fulfill you for so long, do you think pretending to be stronger, smarter, or fiercer than you really going to stop you from embracing your true inner strength? Because aren't you tired of always having to consistently perform? I don't know if you are even doing it for yourself because doing that for so long will tire you out and make you unsure of who you are deep down.

Pile two, I did pull the son of cups. Which is a very charming and very appealing person to be around, this just reinforces that you will be this at all times for everyone and everything. Given that this is the card that's supposed to represent your present reality, I believe that you are a very much cookie cutter desired person. Someone who is always on top of how you appear as. All I see is that there's this big grand facade of being this person that is so desirable and welcoming. Everyone wants to present themselves in a good light to an extent but for you pile two it's very apparent that this isn't a want for you, it is a need and you do whatever needs to be done to be this beautiful picture-perfect version of yourself, but your human, so guess what? You are at a point where you have to chill out and learn to be yourself, not the ideal version at all times. It's okay to not be what everyone else wants you to be, or what your parents want you to be or whoever else you want to idealize you. You're a human, you're only capable of so much, you're flawed, and you can want to do or partake in things that are different from what should be expected from you.

I pulled The High Priestess in reversed for you as clarification for Son of Cups. Which tells me that you are a very spiritual person, which would make sense, you are reading a tarot reading. Besides that, it brings up to light that your inner self is not being done justice.

Do you even understand who you truly are? Not what you think you have to be to maintain approval.

This facade habit is not aligned with your highest potential. Because face it, do you think you will be happy for the rest of your life pretending to be something that isn't the real you? Just because others think you will be does not make that idea a reality, stop deceiving your true potential.

I don't want to assume but my guess is you may or may not have immigrant parents that have kind of forced this urgency to be a certain way to please them. At the end of the day, you know how you want to be or wish to be. If you don't relate to that portion obviously disregard it, it could be anything from grades, skills, and appearance. Maybe it's a controlling figure, which could be a lover or a person in power over you causing you to feel like you cannot be authentically yourself.

The next card for you is Chariot, which is all about heading straight to where you want to be. Who you want to be. Nobody is going to be able to do it for you. You have built a wonderful mask for yourself for so long that it'll be hard to take it off and learn what you look like when you aren't wearing one. It will be unnatural to you at first, but you will get used to it. You got this pile two. I hope the best for you beautiful.

Pile Three

"I cannot recognize myself. But I'm still me."

Welcome to your reading Pile three. I pulled two oracle cards; Downcast Pride and Is this Me, which the purpose is to reflect on the main themes of your reading. Is this Me is associated with the last stage the Dark Mirrors Oracle grief cycle, which the stage of acceptance, whereas Downcast Pride is associated with the depression stage.

Which brings up the primary point- your shadow self that is being repressed, is your own lack of attachment to joy or fulfillment for your life. This pile does remind me a lot about pile one, as both were attached to the stage of depression. There's been this emptiness in our lives for so long, that we become very dull in life and don't bother to work or see things in a way outside of that empty feeling. Yet, on contrast to pile one, pile three is more so at the phrase of depression morphing into the stage of acceptance. Pile three has wisdom and more insight compared to both previous piles. Pile three you have this inward recognition that everyone is within means of having the capacity to alter your method of thinking and act based on that. You're the more self-aware pile so congratulations on that. I got the High Priestess reversed, Nine of Cups reversed, and Two of Swords as the cards to represent what is being repressed from your past. Nine of Cups was the overall main card for the first question and when it's in reversed I read it as dissatisfaction despite all the opportunities that have been given to us. Perhaps, we overestimated what should be given or granted to us and are disappointed that we don't feel satisfied even if our needs have generally been met. In other words, even though you didn't have the worst hand in life, you're not content. It's possible, you have taken your status, or a piece of your own identity for granted. Given the length of time we have used certain facets of our identity for so long, or maybe even briefly; our perspective of our identity can very much be impacted with that facet we once were attached to and what we used to represent. And it also plays a significant role in preserving our happiness and contentment. Now, this "opportunity" or fragment of identify has gotten away as time gives space for it to vanish off. Life is all about change, it's difficult to accept yet we can't and shouldn't allow it to dictate our personal fulfillment. Change is devasting but so is self-pity, a little self-pity is healthy for you, too much is detrimental for us to expand ourselves onto newer and better things. This could mean anything, such as growing up thin and gorgeous. Years go by and now you've gained more weight than you like, eyes have become dull and wrinkly skin has formed in the corners of your eyes, forehead, arms and almost your entire body. Maybe you're blaming yourself for not earning as much money or for not being able to get the same level of love, appreciation or attention from other people. It could be anything—even a passion that ignited a fire in your life that has gradually faded over time. (Mind you, I am not saying that if you picked pile three you have to be old enough to be worrying about wrinkles or having to make more money from the previous year, any age group could pick this. School, family and mental/physical illnesses can be factors as well not just time itself.) Two of Swords also brings up a different point, that highlights being at a standoff with decision-making. Pile three, did you make a lot of decisions based off of what someone else told you was better or what would best suit someone else? Two of swords displays a lot of lack of self-assurance and I think that part of your fulfillment that's displayed from Downcast Pride roots from not being more assertive in your own personal decisions. The High Priestess is a very spiritual card, and as it is included in the spread's earlier sections, I interpret this to mean that either an inner wisdom has been present but has been clouded by the lack of purpose and achievement. You have potential, but with all this chaotic energy, you have suppressed a lot of this fulfillment. Even after all this time has passed and you still feel as though you are in the same place in life. How come you never knew or tried to figure out what you wanted to do? You're not content and have felt like happiness and fulfillment hasn't been present in life. Pile three, it has to feel devastating for you.

Another way that I’m reading the high priestess is that the high priestess is all about our inner calling and inner wisdom. Based on the other two cards, I would say that this is what is blocking off all this magical, inner wisdom being brought up. Meaning, we must solve our own issues to let our inner voice be shined. Seek assistance from anyone or any place that might help you becoming more aware of your inner reality.

You also got the Son of Cups and Judgement reversed. Which just reinforces what I said the previous paragraph. Son of Cups represents a charming and idealistic person that everyone loves and desires. Whilst Judgement reversed is highlighting missed opportunities and failure. Failure to be the Sun of Cups. Failure to grow past who you used to be.

Mourn your past. Accept it’s not with you anymore. Move on so you can grow. I am aware it’s easier said than done, but it still needs to be addressed.

Lamenting over who you wish you still were, or where you want to be is rather pointless. Stop wishing for something thats now unattainable for you. Look for the new you, answers and solutions for yourself. Morph into something better so that the old you would’ve been jealous of new present you. When you think about it, it’s actually good that some things cannot be changed because then there’s a plethora of options for growth and numerous outcomes for who we can be.

Now, I pulled Father of Swords, for advice for you to help you work through accepting your shadow self. This card is pretty straightforward, Father of Swords is a very authoritative and is someone who strives onward. He’s also someone who’s very logical and knows that in order for blessings we have to work and set ourselves up for blessings. He does what he has to do to get to where he wants to be. He dosn’t live in the past, he lives in the present while working for the future. Spirt wants me to tell you to do the same so you can work through your repression of your shadow.

#oracle #tarot reading #free tarot #pac reading #pick a card #pick a picture #pick a pile #tarotonline #shadow work #healing

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herseraphwings · 10 months

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Herseraphwings🕊️ 🌙✨ Pick A Card Debut

🌙✨ Itching to flex my divination skills without diving into YouTube, here I am! Just call me Alise. I'm a solo witch with clarsentient and claircognizant vibes, spreading messages through tarot and oracle cards. I've got all sorts of readings for you, except anything medical-related. Let's embark on a soulful journey of expansion and alignment together. Hit me up for some mystical insights! 🔮✨

Pick An Image (1-4)

What Don't You See Coming?

*Disclamer: I offer tarot readings for entertainment and spiritual guidance purposes only. Please understand that the insights and interpretations provided are subjective and should not be substituted for professional advice or counseling. The responsibility to make decisions and take actions based on the readings lies solely with you. I am not liable for any consequences that may arise from your choices or actions following the reading. Remember, the future is not set in stone, and outcomes can be influenced by various factors and your own free will.*

Image #1:

Ace of Cups, King of Cups, 10 of Swords, The Hermit, Knight of Cups

What you don’t see coming is new chapter where you are aligned and fulfilled. I see that you have experienced the mental anguish that comes with negative beliefs & self talk- feeling as though the rug would be pulled from under your feet if you didn’t feel just a dash a pessimism that you disguised as realism. You could have struggled keeping your heart open and receptive to blessings and opportunities because your thoughts were hard to level and work through. When you identify with your personal thoughts and feelings too much, you truly see the world through that lens. However, I see that a period of introspection and spiritual adjustment has been setting you up or will set you up for a new chapter. You are truly letting go of hurt, ego, fear and anything else that clogs up your system with a heavy vibration. I see your light brightening as you weave harmony and resolution into your life. If you struggled with accepting love before, you won’t anymore. You’ll know that the core of your essence is love. If you felt like you had to play dirty games of the world for self preservation, you won’t anymore. You’ll know that everything you need comes from Source. Some of you may have literally gone over seas on a “Eat. Pray. Love” journey where no-one could find you, just so you could clear out the ego and align to your true self. Now you’ll get to receive opportunities and changes that will blow your mind.

Image #2

The Hermit, Ace of Swords, 9 of Pentacles, King of Cups, The Magician

You have been trying to manifest something BIG. It could be material abundance. You have been waiting and trying your hardest to manifest things the right way and the BEST and FASTEST way. I see that this is a manifestation that you believe will bring you complete satisfaction and even release you from a situation you’re tired of and ready to move away from. However, you may have been forced to be patient and struggling with the fear that it may not come to be. I see you trying to maintain clear thoughts and a high vibration, but your emotions are still so emotionally tied to the results. What you don’t see coming is that you aren’t going to receive the manifestation you want. The Creator is actually going to give you something even better, but you have to be willing to let go of your original idea. You may feel frustrated because I feel someone’s energy like “ I know I’m doing this right, why isn’t it happening?” And it’s just because the Creator has kind of high jacked things. It’s not a part of the sacred plan. It’s not for you. Something even better is coming, and you won’t see it coming because you’ll still be trying to figure out how to separate yourself from your attachment to the original outcome. You may be trying to manifest a lump sum to gain stability, but The Creator wants to give you a high paying job where you earn that lump sum overtime and then some, therefore creating lasting stability in your life. Do your best to surrender.

Image #3

8 of Cups, 5 of Cups, 4 of Pentacles, Page of Pentacles, 6 of Cups

If things have felt chaotic and conflicted recently for you, then what you don’t see coming is things finally regaining their balance in your life. Your faith has been challenged, and you may not see a clear path right now but try to consider the value of chaos. Every storm passes, and the tumultuous winds always blow away the parts of us that we discard to adapt so that we can reinvent ourselves. Some of you may have taken a step away from life because you knew that was the only thing you could control about your situation and it has served you well. Trust in the universe, because this period of chaos will end. I see the collective of this pile like a sturdy object on a shelf, immovable and stored away for winter. The Creator says that once you have recognized that some of these inconveniencing events are a direct result of unresolved past issues, you’ll be able to work through them quickly and bring balance back to your life. For some of you you’re dealing with money issues and might need to examine your past relationship with finances and lay the groundwork for better financial health. For other’s it could do with the way you treat yourself or trauma. It’s all lessons. You’ll move past them and come out even stronger.

Image #4

7 of Cups, 5 of Cups, Queen of Pentacles, 8 of Pentacles, 9 of Cups

You don’t see coming is that you are going to see the results of what you have been working hard towards! I see that you have started to doubt the goals you set for yourself regarding this manifestation of yours and it makes me feel for you, because I’m honestly in the same boat so I’m glad you came to this reading. You can trust that you had/have a good idea and that that idea is going to take you where you want to go. It looks like you have been thinking about giving up because you may not have reached certain goals when you wanted or some milestones may not have felt or appeared the way you imagined them to be. The Creator is showing me that you have been a little disillusioned about how fast your success was going to come, but that the level of success is going to be bigger than you thought. You just have to persevere and keep tending to those seeds you planted. Whatever you’re doing might position you as an authority. Congrats! JUST DON’T give up! The seeds you planted will bear fruit. Here is one thing to consider for the time being. You have received opportunities and surpassed certain milestones, but because of your unrealistic expectations at the time, you couldn’t see the bigger picture. You have already been successful! You are going to get the big wish you want, but can’t you see that these small steps are a part of that journey? Try to give yourself more credit.

#pick a card #pick a pile #tarot reading #divination #tarot cards #tarot #pick an image #PAC #divineguidance #witchblr

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moonnightdew · 7 months

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💓 Love & Romance Messages 💓

The Four Of Cups

There is no true focus on love & romance for this bunch, because you are meant to be focused on yourself.

You are in a single & solitude era. You are being called to focus on your own well being at this time. Protecting your peace, self discovery & being your own bae is important.

Some of you may be bored, rejecting, or just unaware of romantic suitors at this time.

I’m seeing offers, but at this time you’ll be every cutthroat, picky & unbothered.

I see some in some form a therapy or healing for mental health, trauma, family or generational curses and that’s being prioritized. I also see education being a focused too, so some of you may be a student, going back to school, taking courses, becoming certified or established and diving into religion & spirituality.

This isn’t a time to get stuck in analysis paralysis, pondering of the past or what could be in the future— be here now. Clear out the clutter, keep it true & straight & just have fun at this time. Use discernment to know if anything is worth disturbing your peace for.

The Seven Of Pentacles

*There are many scenarios here

Love & Romance is focused on stability, change, freedom and a provider or partner with status, wealth or power.

For some of you, a decision between 2 partners or deciding what kind of partner you want is indicated. Remember your values, what you truly need to be fulfilled and think long-term. Be mindful of your intentions & what you’re investing time, money & energy into.

An attraction to a foreigner, or a wealth person in power is indicated ( a police officer, lawyer, doctor, celebrity)

A level up is needed— meaning your partner will have to level up for you OR you will have to level up for your partner. One person is more established, experienced & successful than the other. So love is coming in, but someone needs to get to a specific big point as far as money, fame, career or networking.

Ex: you want to pursue a celebrity romantically. Think about what you’d have to do to even be able to walk up to this person. We’re all human, but it’s very unlikely that’d you just be able to be with a celeb easily. If you live in a small town, run a small business, or a small social media account— what can you do to get noticed while staying true to yourself? How can you level up your reputation to eventually be known by this celeb?

*Don’t focus too hard on specific celebrity, wealthy or just successful person. You might want a specific celeb like a singer, but end up with a famous songwriter or producer instead. You might want an actress/ actor, but end up with a NFL OR NBA star.

A big move is how you meet this person. Your creative passion, career/ job or public reputation is how you meet this person. ( and vice versa)

(You may be moving to a new city, state or country. Starting a business that becomes successful & well known or you become famous on social media or in your state for your career)

For those of you already in a relationship ( someone not on your level, someone you settled with or already married or in a relationship with someone else) either they put in the work to change & level up for you OR leave that other person or relationship— or you leave them behind. You’ve outgrown someone and they want to continue to do the same things, which will hold you back. Some of you are with someone who knows your worth & knows you can do better. So they’re keeping you stagnant, so you won’t go to someone better.

I see a time of being single & going through a glow up.

How am I settling? What do I need to do to level up? What have I outgrown? Is the old keeping me from the new? How can I bring in someone on my frequency, when I’m being help back by lower frequencies? What am I wasting / what am I not taking advantage of? What am I underestimating?

*some of you need to read pile #3

The Wheel Of Fortune

Love & Romance is focused around time management, whirlwind romances, prioritizing finances or yourself.

You will have many opportunities regarding love & romance, however it depends on YOU.

There’s a huge energy of you prioritizing, something else over your live life. It’s indicated that you’re prioritizing something that will bring you security, more money, status or fulfillment currently or in the future. ( work, business, creative pursuits, savings, body transformation, mental health, self care & singledom)

So the energy is “what can you bring to MY table, that I can’t already serve myself?”.

Now this can be you or a person you’re interested in, so this can be vice versa.

Being to busy, high standard, demanding, spoiled, unattainable independent or happily single may intimidate a lot of people. You may be approach by people who want you to dim your light, slow down, be less busy, make time and open or change your schedule around for them. The question is: are they worth it.

Be mindful of sacrificing or delaying what’s important to you & good for you ( in the long run) , to entertain or accommodate someone who wants your attention for a minute.

How can I make time for romance? What am I putting aside for someone else? Do I jump at love without thinking? Is love important right now? How do I romance myself? Can I wait for love? Is this attention really a distraction from my goals?

The Knight of cups

Love & Romance is focused around broken promises, healing, forgiveness, apologies, communication, love language & opening your heart.

( I see an indication of friendship here, as well as a broken commitment ( promise ring, engagement, marriage)

You are still dealing with a blow to the heart. Feelings of being left behind, stabbed in the back, revenge, & picking up the pieces is emphasized.

For some a strong energy of forgiveness or an apology is here. I see many feeling guilty of hurting you and vice versa.

Someone you’ve blocked & refuse to talk to— wants to communicate with you. I’m seeing conversations about the past, reunions, laying it out on the table, expressing truths, emotions & apologies. However, it does not mean this person (s) will stay in your life. Be mindful of selective hearing or seeing; do not overlook unchanged behavior or old tricks.

*A scorned woman or man may resonate with you.

I see many of you single & isolating yourself from many out anger & pain.

For other, these are ghost wounds from the past. This has already happened to you, but you fear it will happen again. Feelings of guilt, shame & anger will arise as you ponder on seemingly wasted time. Don’t turn the sword onto yourself. Know that nothing is wasted & this will add to you wisdom & growth in the long run. Take these Ls & turn them into MORE love… make lemonade. Do not allow another’s wounds to bleed onto you, do not allow bitterness to make you a lemon. Release the sourness you’ve experienced & add sweetener to your life. To sweeten, does not mean to sugarcoat— it means taking the sour & salty moments and making the best of it. Honey is used to heal as well…

Allow the ice to melt & warm your heart again. Allow for new love in all forms to come to you ❤️‍🩹

You are being called to confront your fears & triggers. People from the past may come back to you, so you can close & heal old wounds. You’ll be tackling feelings of your worth.

Do you stay true to yourself? Do you value yourself? Do you give the power to determine your worth, what you deserve & who you are to another? How can you take back your power & your heart? How can you sweeten? How can you open your heart again?

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ohtobeleah · 11 months

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I can’t read it until all 3 parts are out. For my own mental stability. I’m waiting patiently.

Well. This is it folks. The final instalment. It’s been a ride. Please know this isn’t truly the end. But it’s the end of our main storyline. There will be more to come. Your feedback, reactions and support are so deeply appreciated.

-> Warnings: Mentions of Domestic Violence/Abuse. Bradley Bradshaw x F!reader. Jake Seresin x Platonic!F!reader.

-> Word Count: 5.2k

As always, for the final time—read from the beginning here. Finale Part One | Finale Part Two | Finale Part Three | Jake & Fe’s karaoke Song <- Please Listen To

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In the darkness of the night you slowly made your descent down the flight of stairs. Everything was still, not a sound could be heard amongst the silence that was three in the morning. You’d woken with a hankering for a few scoops of that delicious fudge brownie ice cream you had in the freezer.

When you reached the bottom of the stairs, a familiar shadow caught your attention as he sat on the lounge. You knew who it was.

“You can’t stay here forever Bob—“ You sighed as you padded on into the kitchen. Bob followed you silently as he watched you reach for two spoons. “I thought once Rooster ripped up that carpet you would have got the memo.” You turned on your heels to reach up and into the freezer for your pint of ice cream.

“Got nowhere else to go.” Bob shrugged as you handed him the spoon. “You got me killed, remember?” In the blink of an eye, Bob didn’t look like Bob anymore, he looked like something straight out of a horror film when you looked back up to meet his gaze. “You didn't do enough when you should’ve known what he was capable of.” There was no excuse you could have given the version of Bob that stood before you that would have made things right. But you settled for the truth, the fact of the matter as the bloodied, beaten and shot version of Robert Floyd took a spoonful of your pint of ice cream.

“I was scared—“ You whispered in the darkness of the night. “I was scared of him.” Bob just nodded. It always ended the same.

“So was I.”

With a gasp you woke up in a mess of cold sweats. This had happened before and it would surely happen again. It had only been a few weeks since Bob's untimely death and two weeks since his funeral. There was not a dry eye in sight as Rhett stamped those wings into his brother's coffin.

“I wish I could change what happened, Rhett.” It was during a recess break in Jaidyn's initial custody hearing that you found Rhett outside the courthouse. He could tell by the way your voice sounded meeker than normal that you were afraid of what he thought of you. That he blamed you for this, for everything. The way he had come barrelling into the hospital once he’d heard what had happened was a sight you’d never forget. “I wish I could go back and change how I did things. Had I maybe done something sooner—been a little more brave, Bob might still be here.”

“What’s happened, happened.” Rhett finally turned to where you sat next to him on the bench under the trees that were kissed with fall tones, amber, orange and brown. “That's an expression of faith in the mechanics of the world.” Rhett explained softly as he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you closer till your head found comfort against his shoulder. “People use it as an excuse to do nothing—but you—Y/n, have done all that you can.”

“I don’t believe in fate—“ You replied through a soft whimper. “I don’t believe that fate would have taken him away from us.” You sobbed in Rhett’s warm embrace as Bradley stood close by watching over you. He was always watching. He was just there in case you needed him—and thank goodness he was because you needed him the most. “I don’t believe fate would have put me through that, put you through this.” Rhett could understand where you were coming from, to fight off falling into a bottomless pit of despair and depression Rhett had to see all this from another perspective—the perspective of his brother. The brother that gave the ultimate sacrifice. His brother Bob.

“Call it what you want, but it happened and all we can do now is try to clean up the mess we’re left with.”

“What do you call it?” You asked as you sat up to give Rhett your full attention, you knew after the short recess that it would be all about Bob's untimely demise. The first half of the session had been all about the abuse you’d endured. “This, all this chaos?” Rhett knew what Bob would have said. He was a numbers guy, a grounded in reality kind of guy. “What do you call it?” So with one word Rhett explained to you that he wasn’t mad nor spiteful. He wasn’t angry or out for revenge—against you that was. If given the chance Rhett would kill that son of a bitch in the blink of an eye. But he was simply glad he’d been there for you and done all that he could to protect you from possibly being the one who you’d just laid to rest three days prior. Just like Bob had asked him to do.

“Reality—“

As you sat up in bed you turned on your little bedside lamp that illuminated the bedroom you shared with Bradley in an orange hume. He was sleeping soundly on his chest, snoring slightly because the deviated septum he now had made it harder for him to breathe. He was getting used to it though, pulling G forces however—that hurt like a mother fucker.

“You okay there mama?” You and Bradley had decided to stay in the home that had been a house or horrors for that one fateful day. You didn’t want to run anymore, didn’t want to hide. Bradley had replaced the bloodied carpet and rearranged the living room. He thought changing things up might help. It wasn’t in the logistics to move, he still had a lease.

The new carpet didn’t make the nightmares any less paralyzing or less prevalent though. You were both working through the PTSD that that day left behind. So was Jake. So was little Odette. You couldn’t get her in the upstairs bathroom to save yourself. For good reason.

“I’m fine, just had abit of a nightmare.” You’d been having pretty consistent nightmares since that day. Your therapist assured you that it was completely natural. That it was all a part of the grieving process. The healing journey.

“The ice cream one or the couch one?” Bradley sighed as he rolled over, flicking on his own lamp as he rubbed his eyes. You were still in an immobilization sling for another few weeks. Doctor Taylor wasn’t happy to see your name back on his chart less than twelve hours post your first discharge. But he couldn’t say he wasn’t surprised. If he had been a beating man he swore his life savings would have been on your odds.

“The ice cream one—“ You yawned as you looked at the time on your phone. Three am. Bob's most prevalent witching hour. “He only told me I killed him like once this time so I think we’re making some progress.” Bradley chuckled softly as he pulled you down and into his chest. He knew how much you were struggling to overcome the adversity you’d faced, he was too. You all were. No one had seen Phoenix of Rhett in days. Fanboy was doing his best to keep tabs but he was only one guy.

“I think he’d get a real kick knowing Hangmans got a pair of glasses tattooed on his ass.” The entire group had gone and gotten a tattoo in memoriam. You, Bradley, Jake, Phoenix, Fanboy, Payback, Coyote and of course Rhett all had a pair of Bobs signature glasses tattooed. Yours had been placed on your finger. Bradley got his on his wrist. You couldn’t help but to smile against Bradley’s exposed chest as he wrapped his arm around you. He’d lost a fair few people in his life. Bob was just the latest on the list of good people taken too soon. “But I also think he’d be so proud of you.”

“No you killed him.” Jaidyn played his final attempt to manipulate you. He wanted you to kill him. That was his end game. That was his plan. To ruin your entire life. “You killed him Y/n and darlin, you don’t have the fucking balls to kill me you poisonous bitch—“ Jaidyn snarled as you pressed your foot further into his chest. “Go on, pull the fucking trigger! DO IT!”

*Bang*

You hadn’t killed him, Jaidyn that was. But you did shoot him through his shoulder before you dropped to your knees in shock at the fact you’d thought about it and came seconds away from doing so. He was arrested and taken to hospital under police custody. He’d still yet to be officially sentenced, but for now he was in custody, without possibility of making any kind of bail. He’d spend the entirety of the time waiting on his trial behind bars.

“I’m gonna go sleep in Odette's room for a little while.” You mumbled before you turned to kiss Bradley’s chest. He understood why. You’d been like this for weeks.

“I love you.” Was all he mermed in response before you were sitting up, swinging your legs over the side of the bed and pushing off out of the warmth of the bed you shared with the love of your life. Rooster saw no reason to spot you, he was only going to follow you in about five minutes or so.

“I love you too.” You took your time as you padded down the hall to the room where your daughter slept soundly. She’d taken a little while to get used to having a room all to herself. Most nights she was racing down the hall in her pajamas screamed and crying just looking for you. On the nights she was able to sleep soundly through the night you’d be the one who woke up in cold sweats from your own nightmares. Both one in the same—the pair of you couldn’t go a night apart.

As you opened her bedroom door the sight you saw melted your heart. Bradley had hooked up one of those roaming lamps that projected stars onto the roof of Dots room. He’d told her one night during one of her moments where she felt like she was drowning, that her grandparents would keep her safe from all the monsters in her closet while he was sleeping and that he’d keep her safe from the monsters of the world. That was his promise, that he’d always protect her.

The stars lit up her room just enough so that she wasn’t shrouded in darkness. The teddy bear in her arms wore a flight suit with a tiny ‘Bob’ stitched into the fabric. He wore a set of glasses that matched your tattoo. Bobby bear had quickly become Dot's favourite toy. Rhett had gotten it for her, he’d never tell anyone but he had one too. It sat on his suitcase just staring at him just wondering when he was going to go back home.

“My sweet girl.” You whispered as you crawled into bed with your daughter. Bradley swore blue that he and Jake were going to find the time to make her the princess bed she deserved. For right now though it was just a simple frame with a lip big enough to stop her from falling. “Mamas here.” You cooed as you pulled her close. Even in her sleeping state Dot reached up to touch your cheek. “I love you so much.”

Mav had been staying in the spare room since the incident. He’d felt so guilty for not being around. He’d been so focused on the internal investigation into Beau Simpson's competence that he truly did believe there were enough people around you to stop a tragedy from occurring again.

He’d been wrong. So in the spare room he stayed until Bradley had convinced him that his little family was safe.

“Room for one more?” Bradley’s voice sounded ever so soft as he crept into Odette's room. You looked at him as he padded in. Sweats hanging low off his hips to expose those deep vee lines with the elastic of his boxer briefs poking out the top.

“Unfortunately Bradshaw, I think this beds full.” The way you smiled, the way you spoke, the way you loved so deeply and so passionately made Bradley Bradshaw's heart skip a beat. He’d sat with you and your lawyer every time you had a meeting, he listened to all the abuse you endured and put up with for years. As did Jake. The pair sat and listened to the pain in your voice and watched the tears stream down your cheeks. They couldn’t understand how you didn’t harbor that hatred. But Bradley finally understood why you’d been so hesitant to give him a chance.

He was so thankful you did.

“Floor it is then.” He groaned softly as he dropped down to his knees and snaked one of Odette stuffed toys for a pillow. Bobby Bear looked him dead in the eye as if to say pick another. He did just that and settled for the stuffed ladybug. You chuckled softly to yourself at the way Bradley trailed behind you only minutes later. He’d been plagued with nightmares of his own. Only his were of you on your knees telling him you loved him with that gun pressed to your head. In his nightmares Jaidyn always pulled the trigger. In his nightmares Dot was drowned. In Bradley Bradshaw's nightmares he lost both his girls, and that’s what made him settle for the floor of his daughters room most nights, looking up at the stars that roamed the roof of her bedroom—

Slowly but surely drifting off to sleep. Knowing that you’d be there when he woke up. Forever and always.

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Four Months Later

“Amilia! It’s tradition! Now, give me the microphone!” Jake whined as he trailed behind Amilia like a lost puppy. She was busy doing her rounds, collecting empty beer bottles and glasses from the table tops of the Hard Deck.

“Just because it’s tradition doesn’t mean I should be subjected to your awful pitch, Seresin.” The two had been inseparable since their date at Preston’s. Jake had failed to actually show up for their planned date. With all his emergency contacts already being in the hospital and with the rest of the Daggers in complete and utter shambles over Bob's death, Jake had asked the nurses that were looking after him to call Amilia for him, as his emergency contact.

She’d stayed his emergency contact since. There was no point having you anymore, because whenever you were in trouble you could count that Jake was gonna be there right beside you and vice versa.

The second Jake was discharged though, with cuts and bruises alike, he took Amilia to Preston’s like he’d promised he would. They went straight there and hadn’t looked back since. Like two peas in a pod.

“I’m gonna combust woman! I need to!” Jake pleaded as he held Amilia still by her hips from behind so she couldn’t step another step away. “Give, me, the, microphone.”

“Don’t do it Oz!” Fanboy egged on the drama unfolding before him as he sat at the bar waiting on Penny to finish gathering his latest order. “Don’t make us suffer—“

“Coyote is on top of the leaderboard!” Jake wanted to pull his own hair out. He was the karaoke king, you were the karaoke queen—there was no ifs or buts about the situation. “Do you understand how pressing this matter is!?” As Amilia rounded the corner back behind the bar where Penny was busy pouring copious amounts of liquor for her alcoholic patrons, she shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“If you sing home among the gumtrees again I swear I’ll have Penny ring that bloody bell Jake.” Amilia conceded. “Five buck entry fee—cough it up.” She stuck her hand out as Jake grinned ear to ear, he was quick to fish the crumbled up bill from his wallet before he slapped it into his girlfriend’s awaiting hand.

“You won’t regret it.” Jake beamed as he watched Amilia pocket the five dollar bill. It was her gig, karaoke with half price wings & tings night had really become a hit. Penny let Amilia make a little extra cash with the five dollar entry fee. She’d essentially been robbing Jake in broad daylight ever since.

“Somehow I think I will.” Amilia leaned over the bar to kiss Jake on the cheek before she handed him two microphones from under the bar. “Go reclaim your crown.”

“I'll be back to revel in my glory soon.” The smile couldn’t have been more genuine if Jake wanted it to be. He was in love, if he wasn’t he couldn’t begin to imagine what true love actually felt like if this wasn’t it. “Stay gorgeous, make sure these guys are tipping you well!” He shouted as he walked away and all Amilia did was shoo him off. Immediately turning her attention back to the crowd surrounding the bar.

“Fe!” Jake's voice rattled around in your brain as he approached the table you’d been sitting at with Rooster and Pete. little Odette was on your lap colouring in one of the many colouring in pages you’d grabbed from Amilia on the way in. “Show time!” He wiggled his hips as he showed you the microphones. “Just like old times?”

“Oh no—“ You tried to turn the offer down. “Jake, it's packed in here!” But it was to no avail. Jake was reaching out for Dot like there was nothing stopping him from reclaiming what was rightfully his. All Bradley did was chuckle to himself as Jake played the little girl down in his lap. Deciding he was now on Dot duty while he whisked you away to be his partner in crime.

“Uh, yeah! Which makes it the perfect time to whoop Coyotes arse!” Jake hadn’t been this content in a while. He felt like things were all coming together again after his entire world had been tipped on its axis point. He missed Bob, so fucking much. He took it personally to the point that his nightmares were almost a nightly occurrence. The choice he made he’d never forget. The tattoo on his ass served as a permanent reminder of the guy who was every bit the man Jake wished he could trade places with. “So come on! Let’s get our karaoke on!” You looked to Rooster across the booth for support, he gave you some as he shrugged his shoulders and tilted his head.

“Better get up there.”

“You’re meant to have my back.” You groaned as you squinted your eyes and sighed in disbelief.

“I do, that’s why I want you to go and have some fun.” Bradley had in his back pocket his mother’s engagement ring that she’d given him before she passed. He’d kept it in his dads red velvet wedding ring box since he’d had it. As Bradley watched Jake haul you away to belt out a beat, he knew he’d made the right choice.

“Everythings set outside when you're ready, Rooster.” Mav bumped the son he’d claimed as his own on the shoulder. “She’s just perfect for you.”

“Yeah—“ Bradley still hadn’t taken his eyes off you as he watched you and Jake set up and select your song. “Yeah she really is isn’t she.” There wasn’t a time Bradley didn’t believe you weren’t the one for him, but after everything you’d gone through, after everything he’d seen, after the losses you’d learnt to accept and the fear you’d overcome—Bradley had never been so sure.

“Your mum and dad would be so proud of you kid.” Mav had watched the man sitting beside him grow up into such a fine young man. He was every bit the man his father was. “They really would be.” The music filled the Hard Deck and captured everyone’s attention—whenever you and Jake were paired for karaoke they all knew it would be a good time.

“Our children will always hear romantic tales of distant years, our gilded age may come and go. Our crooked dreams will always glow.” You sang a little off tune but with a whole lot of heart as the entire Hard Deck watched you and Jake dance and act like teenagers who’d snuck into an underground nightclub.

“Stick with me, oh you're my best friend! All of my life, you've always been, Remember remember, All we fight for!” Jake shouted at the top of his lungs. Rooster saw from the corner of his eyes the way Amilia blushed from second hand embarrassment from behind the bar. That was her dork now. All Bradley had to say was good luck to her.

Across the way sat Rhett and Phoenix. It was the first time Bradley saw a genuine smile creep across Natasha’s face since Bob’s death. Out of everyone it hit her the hardest. They’d flown together for years and without Bob? Phoenix didn’t know what she was doing in the sky. What way was up or what way was down. But she knew he was here, watching over them. Her tattoo was placed across her heart. Gone but never forgotten was Robert Floyd. She didn’t blame you either. Not a single bit.

“Don't leave me, oh you're my best friend

All of my life, you've always been. Don't leave me now, you're my best friend, All of my life, you've always been!” As your voice melted with Jakes, Bradley also took notice of the genuine hold Rhett Abbott had on Natasha's thigh, just above her knee. Not too high that it would be deemed inappropriate for a public setting. It was just genuine and real. The pair had been spending more and more time together, Bradley assumed it was from the grief, but now? When he saw the way Phoenix looked at Rhett the same way Jake looked at Amilia the same way he looked at you? He wasn’t so sure it was grief, but love born from a tragedy. How that would turn out he wouldn’t hold his breath over, but he was happy for them.

“Remember remember—, All we fight for!” It was your turn to sing as Jake jumped around.

“Remember remember— All we fight for!” It was Jake's turn to scratch out as you twirled and laughed at the cheers that echoed out around you.

“Oh oh oh oh oh—“ The both of you sing in unison into the same microphone. It was like a slow motion fade out as the music died down and the applause erupted. Bradley held Odett high in the air so she could clap and wave your way. Only placing her down when you’d made your way back to him.

“I love you so much.” Bradley pulled you close as he kissed your temple, having watched you and Jake sing your hearts out to keep your covenant top stop on the karaoke board. “I’ve got something to show you if you’ll step outside with me for a minute?” He whispered in your ear as he looked at him with questions and confusion written all over your face.

“Sure—“

“Tooster has a supwise for you mamma.” Dot added as you walked hand in hand with your little girl out towards the back patio of the Hard Deck where it backed onto the Beach reserve. You could see all the festoon lights outside but never thought in a million years there'd be a little picnic set up under those lights.

“I can see that little miss.” You looked down at Dot as she held your hand and walked by your side, Bradley was just ahead of you, looking up at the stars above in the night sky hoping his parents were out there somewhere looking down on him. “Did you know about this?”

“Tooster told me before bed wast night.”

Rooster thought that it would be good to keep Odette looped in, his palms were super sweaty as he tucked her in and turned on her little star lamp. He kneeled beside her bed—kissed her forehead softly and told her that he loved her.

“Can you keep a secret?” Dot nodded. Bradley wasn’t so sure, she’d developed a bad habit of throwing people under the fucking his lately. Her latest victim had been Chase—who was sneaking lollies from the lolly jar. But he wanted her to know. “You know I love you and your mama very much right?”

“So much?” Dot had had a big day, she’d spent the afternoon with her uncle Jake, what those two had been up to Rooster had no idea, but whatever it had been had tuckered the little tack.

“Oh the most baby girl.” Bradley smiled so bright at your daughter. “So much that I’m gonna ask your mum to marry me tomorrow night, because that’s just how much.” What Bradley didn’t tell little Odette was that he was gonna ask her too.

“Bradley, what is all this?” You asked cautiously as Dot ran off to catch up to Rooster. He picked her up and spun her around as you reached the small blanket laid on the sand under festoon lights. “Rooster—?”

“I’ve uh—“ Bradley just had to get it all off his chest. “Honestly this is something I should have done months ago if I’m being honest.” He let out a soft chuckle as he rubbed the back of his neck and looked around. He could see Jake standing on the back patio, proud as ever that his best friend was finally getting her happily ever after. “Y/n—“

“No stop, you're not Rooster.” You wanted to cry as you cupped your hands over your face. “This isn’t happening—“

“I told you when we were in the hospital that I was gonna ask you to marry me.” Bradley reminded you as he reached in for the ring box in his back pocket. He was on one knee before you in seconds with Odette in his arms. “Y/n, you deserve so much more than you’ve ever been given.” Bradley started as you began to cry tears full of happiness. “There are so many things about you that make me want you forever, your smile, your character, the way you love so fiercely.” He held your daughter close as he kissed her cheek and looked up at you over her shoulder. “If you had asked me when I first met you if I knew I’d ask you to marry me I would have said yes.” With shaking hands you reached out to cup Bradley’s cheeks as you stood above him, looking down. He had his own tears threatening to spill as he smiled up at you with golden irises full of love and admiration.

“You’re the love of my life and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, for Odette.” Bradley wanted to include your daughter in all this as much as he possibly could. It was important to him. “You came into my life like a whirlwind dream and not once have I ever had any doubts about you, about wanting to marry you.”

To Bradley, you were a force to be reckoned with. You’d seen your fair share of trails and heartache that would’ve brought most people to their knees. But not you. You maintained a peace about you that Bradley thought was otherworldly. You carried yourself with such grace but yet held such fire behind your eyes. He knew, for sure, that you were the one he wanted in his corner forever.

“Rooster—“

“Marry me Y/n.” Bradley finally said it. He said the three words that took the breath straight from your lungs. “My god please marry me, I just wanna spend the rest of my life reminding you how much love you deserve, how so loved you are.”

“Rooster—“ You were trying to say yes, trying to tell the man kneeling before you that you wanted him forever and then some more. But he wouldn’t let you interrupt.

“I'll never not remember the fear I felt when I almost lost you.” It was a harsh reminder of the things you fought so hard to protect. “I can’t ever lose you—you're my best friend, the love of my life, the best mother to the best little girl I know.” Yep. That was it, that was the moment you dropped to your knees and took Bradley’s lips hostage with yours. He let out a small oof when he fell back against the blankets with Dot.

“Of course I’ll marry you, how could I ever not.”

“Really?” Rooster’s eyes were as wide as they could get with joy and excitement.

“I’m in love with you Roo, have been ever since I first met you.” The thing about Bradley that scared you the most was you’d do anything he ever asked of you. If he asked you to jump you’d ask how high and without hesitation he’d be jumping right next to you. “I always will be.” The two of you could not have been more perfect for one another if you tried. With all your imperfect flaws and weaknesses you made each other whole. “So yes, a thousand times yes I’ll marry you.”

As if to say he couldn’t believe what he was hearing Bradley embraced you and your daughter like it was the first time he was experiencing touch filled with love and compassion. This was it for him—you were his everything. A few months ago he thought he’d lost it all. But now, laying here with you under the stars in North Island, everything was going to be okay.

“And for you miss Odette.” Bradley sniffled as he reached into his pocket for a golden signet ring he’d had made for the little girl who’d stolen his heart. It had her birthstone and all, a little red garnet encased in a heart. Bradley’s heart. “I wanted to ask you something too.” He turned all his attention to Odette who wore the brightest smile on her little face. “Will you let me be your friend forever?”

It melted your heart. Odette nodded as her bottom lip quivered, she didn’t really know what any of this meant but one day she would.

“I wuv you, Tooster.” Odette cuddled into Bradley with all her might as he sat beside you on the blankets under the festoon lights. So much love was left to share between the three of you. So much heartbreak was still left to overcome. But the most important thing of all was that Bradley had his family, the love of his life was about to be his wife. The three year old in his arms would grow up safe and oh so loved.

Bradley was your rock, your world. And as you caught the sight of Jake standing out on the back porch with Amilia wrapped up under his arm you wished he’d get the chance to feel this love too. He’d been the best damn best friend anyone could ask for. He gave you a loving family, the only thing you ever asked for in your entire life.

Odette had her person, her protector, a friend she could count on for the rest of her life. She had her Tooster. And oh boy was that Roosters favourite thing of all. Being Odette's Tooster.

It was his favourite thing of all, it was his favourite job, his favourite roll.

It was his favourite……Term Of Endearment.

Fin.

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Tags: @a-serene-place-to-be @lilyevanswhore @thescarletknight2014 @blindedbythelightt @averyhotchner @emma8895eb @blairfox04 @caitsymichelle13 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @teacupsandtopgun @aemondssiut @akalei349 @notjustsomeblonde @americaarse e @avaleineandafryingpan @phoenix1388 @xoxabs88xox @je-suis-prest-rachel @pono-pura-vida @rosiahills22 @starset21 @anarchyrising @caidi-paris @starkleila @criticalroleobssedperson @enchantingdreamergothprune @flrboyd @emma8895eb @endofdays56 @seresinsaint @topguncortez @mandylove1000 @clancycucumber230

#terms of endearment// bradley bradshaw #bradley x reader #bradleybradshaw #bradley 'rooster' bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw top gun #bradley bradshaw x y/n #bradley rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw fluff #bradley bradshaw imagine #jake hangman seresin x reader

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thronestarot · 10 months

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𒅒 Pick a Reading: The Next Chapter 𒅒

(First post! Show some love ↓)

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This group is certainly well acquainted with the *idea* of opulence, although I think most have yet to experience it or have it for your own. I think for most of you, it’s a dream that seems far too out of reach. The idea of it is nice, but when you look at your immediate surroundings, it seems too entirely impossible to manifest so that dream is cut short. There is also an energy of comparing yourselves to others, focusing on the things you don’t have. What you really want is stability, predictability, and security (and something to show for it as a bonus). When you take a look at your past and/or your present reality, I feel there is a sense of chaos, disorganization, and a “mess” to clean up. Whether this is a metaphorical mess or a physical one, you realize that this is a reflection of your inner state of being. This causes a lot of stress, and in turn, you become paralyzed. When you become paralyzed, nothing gets done and the mess becomes even harder to manage. I’m getting that those who chose this reading grew up in a situation that did not allow for free spending/financial flexibility. There is now a desire to curate that sense of flexibility for yourself. I’m hearing that there is a “creative block” for some of you who create/market something for a profit. When looking into the next chapter, I’m seeing that the dream is not as far out of reach as you may think. The problem lies in the fact that you are thinking TOO long-term right now when you should be focusing on the actionable steps that are already accessible to you in the moment. What is available to you in the next chapter is more than material stability, though. I’m seeing that the more you focus in on what is in alignment with you and your small-term goals, everything else falls into place. Not only am I seeing financial abundance, but a stable partner to share that abundance with. God is truly paving the way for your emotional, spiritual, and financial abundance. However, the message here is to persevere, accept the past, and move forward in a way that is not going “against the grain.” I’m hearing “move like water.” I feel that some of you are in a paralyzed, “stuck” state while the other half of you are trying TOO hard to force a square peg into a round hole. Regardless of where you’re at, allow things to come to you and focus only on what you can control. God will open the doors, all you have to do is walk through them.

Song: Popular Song- MIKA, Ariana Grande

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My #2s are funny. I’m hearing someone say: “I’ve sworn off men.” (Same) Some of you are feeling like there’s no point in trying anymore. And honestly, you might be right. I only say this because I’m also hearing that what is meant for you will FIND YOU! There is really not much for you to do right now other than staying in your own lane and living your best life. However, this doesn’t mean that you should stay inside all day if that’s all you’ve been doing. Get out there, you never know what might happen. Some of you need to focus less on relationships/finding “the one” and focus more on your friendships. I’m seeing that for some, you might even meet a new person while hanging out with your friends. Whether you are actively looking for love or not, there is an energy of feeling so in your head that you can’t seem to get out of it. Even when you are doing your best to get out there/socialize, you feel super distant or like you’re trying to keep up with everyone else but you just don’t have the energy. In this next chapter, I’m seeing that you will find that cerebral energy transmuting into more action. I’m seeing a lot more mental clarity and you holding more space for love as a result. There is also a need for balance and trusting in your intuition. Yes, you should get out more, but you also need time to rest and to rejuvenate afterwards. Take care of yourself and you’ll have a better grasp on what’s to come. You’ll find that you have more energy to actually do the things you want to do for yourself. What’s funny is that this makes you SO attractive as a result. You won’t even notice it when love comes knocking on your door because you’re so focused on leveling up. A glo up is definitely in order, babes. Keep slaying.

Song: Save Your Tears- The Weeknd

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First of all, if you’ve been feeling depressy lately or just emotionally all over the place, I am sending you nothing but light and love. I feel that this group is struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. This is a bit hard to explain, but some of you are almost afraid to see the light. You’ve become so familiar with keeping yourself in the dark that any kind of movement/change seems unbearable at times. While I do see change coming in, I feel that God is working with you at your own pace. I am getting very strongly that these changes will come to pass in a way that is digestible enough for you that while it will add to your growth, it’ll happen in a way that makes some actual sense to you. You’ve been living in this weird state of confusion and I’m getting that a lot of you tend to gaslight yourselves/doubt yourselves enough to feel like giving up completely. Some of you may be relying on certain coping mechanisms to get through the day. I’m mainly seeing someone sleeping a lot just to take a break from reality. The thing you need to understand is that what you’re going through is a kind of “initiation” for the next chapter. The things you are processing through now will serve as a guidebook for what is to come. If you feel hopeless in any aspect of your life, I am here to tell you that the pieces are falling into place. I feel that you just aren’t noticing it because you’ve been living with blinders on. For some of you, there is a need to connect more with your religious and/or spiritual side. I’m hearing: “I’ve lost my spark.” I feel that taking the time to pray/meditate while also balancing that with physical activities will really help you navigate through this particular period of time. As things move forward, I’m seeing you grow into an energy where you are more receptive to what life has to offer. There is a focus here on work/career/life purpose. If you’ve been feeling stuck in these aspects, I’m seeing that there is a need to collaborate and to connect with the people you work with/look up to for advice. I’m hearing: “It’s not what you know, it’s WHO you know.” Someone out there can offer you some real guidance and/or connect you to some great people/opportunities. For those of you lacking faith/hope in your situation, just remember that this too shall pass and opportunities are coming your way. Nourish yourselves, listen to your bodies, connect with God.

Song: The Blonde- TV Girl

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Like/comment if this resonates! Topic suggestions are always welcomed:)

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daisys-reality · 1 year

Text

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆

What kind of person is your DR significant other?

General disclaimer: super long reading ahead. This pac reading is meant for my reality shifters who have a special someone in their desired reality. This reading is timeless in a way but you can adjust it as you see fit. I hope you guys enjoy this. <3 All of them were cuties, you guys have good taste. 💫

If you like to read more pac readings from me, feel free to check out my masterlist ! If you want to share your experiences and/or give me feedback and/or share pac ideas, I would be very happy if you send me an ask over tumblr !!! (Also, fyi I don't own any of these beautiful pics, I just edited them!)

pile one

Hello pile one! Your s/o is definitely a strong person - not necessarily physically (could be) but I’m feeling more so that they have a strong core - mental and emotional strength. Self-confident and proud of their abilities and even physical shape, ready to perform feats any time. With their unwavering focus they have their eyes on their goal, to be on top. They can be very patient if they want to be but they must win by all means, they hate losing. Their energy is regal, they naturally demand respect. Their strife and energy is inspiring for some, for others it’s a bit intimidating. They can be quite calculating and like to think things through, but sometimes their impulses win them over. They surely don’t like dancing to someone else's tune, it’s just not for them lol. Even though they have great leadership qualities, they are more on the introverted spectrum - but definitely by no means shy. They don’t have a lot of close/intimate connection, not many know their inner core. Though they always strive to become better in every sense, personal (and I would even say spiritual) growth is important for them, they even dedicate their whole life to that because they want to ‘master’ themself. Some might mistake them as hard to access or aloof but those with a keener eye know better. They are very observant, stealth and precise in their words and actions. They just do not like wasting energy or resources. Their presence is strong but peacefully calm (if not provoked lol). Reliable and grounded. They might at times tend to get too serious or withdraw too much (for example in stressful times).

They are not the type to do anything merely for the sake of a whim or pleasure; they live to "satisfy their hunger," without hurting anyone for the sake of ordinary self-satisfaction. I feel like there is a great need to be surrounded by luxury and wealth - even better if they have lots of power. Ok this could seem greedy to some but they are also perfectly capable of enjoying the here and now and all the things that surround them while simultaneously striving for an even better future. Could be that where they are now is very different to where their life started. They are the type that is always solving some problems because they can identify them maybe more quickly than others. Justice and fairness are also values they live by, they actually have nice intentions and want everyone to get along … omg i think they were actually a softie as a kid but life teached them the hard way :( . They truly just desire stability and balance, and they will fight as long as they can make these desires come true. They have high (and precious) ideals but sadly in the real world ideals rarely exist in pristine form and justice is elusive - forcing them (and everyone else) to have to make some decisions and to adjust once ideals and values. They have learned their lessons the hard way - or will their whole life. Hardworking, and also very prideful. I think they do care quite a bit about traditions and their reputation. I also feel like they can be pretty straightforward, blunt even. They mean what they say and say what they mean. They prioritize truth above all. They are usually active and assertive. No nonsense person - even when it comes to appearance. They prefer practicality and are more so unpretentious in their style. I think they love being physically active in all kinds of ways (iykwim lmao) - depending on what world their living in - I can also see them even enjoying fighting or battling other people (until all their energy is burn off/until their reach their limit and then training more and more).

Even emotionally they are honest. They have integrity and they don’t play mind games and are unafraid to admit that they’re wrong. Mature but not afraid to express themselves. Love matters and such are usually not on the front of their mind. Their surroundings might be quite demanding (many responsibilities, people who rely on them etc). If you are in a connection/relationship/friendship with them, they would always let you know where you stand with them/ where you’re heading with them. The type of person who will be clear about what they are looking for. With this person, it’s suggested that you take everything they say at face value. The truth may sometimes hurt, but at least they are telling the truth. *

Physically, they mastered the art of looking effortless. Funnily enough they could have the certain “je ne sais quoi” vibe about them that many envy. Something that would normally look disheveled on another person looks sexy on them - that kinda thing. They don’t follow trends. They are very laid back and chill, with a slight youthful energy. They also give me the vibe of ‘They eat what they want when they want it, and they work out when they feel like it.’ I guess it has to do with their belief that life is short to base it around what others think is right and what not etc.

They are the type of person that is kinda apathetic about their general surroundings. Mhm maybe it’s just the fact that they are struggling with their own life and are too distracted by their own issues to worry about others. Emotionally they could also be a bit careless. They can come off as ungrateful and lacking in self-awareness. This person regardless of your DR setting I think is not as much concerned with larger social justice issues. This person may be very short-sighted in that sense. They refuse to get involved with situations unless they can directly benefit from it. If it doesn’t affect them, it is not of their concern lmao. Ok, this seems a bit harsh but I feel like this kind of selfish attitude is working like a shell for them. I said before that they maybe were very ‘soft and pure’ as a child and it could be that they were also quite sensitive, okay? And you know I suppose that life treated them too harshly which in turn made them cold and even apathetic. You know those villains in movies that were actually very kind as a child but abuse and what not made them get astray from their path. I’m not saying that your s/o is a villain or villainous but they just learned that caring too much about others or being too naive is not worth it in the end and will only hurt you. And I feel like they sometimes present themselves colder and harsher than they actually are to protect themselves. To be honest, I usually analyze the things I pick up and filter them accordingly but the first messages I be getting from them are all like ‘I’m indifferent. I don’t care about other people, I’m very cold towards others. I’m arrogant yada yada…’ which kinda seems like a self mantra or like affirmation you tell yourself where I am like why tf you being like this ?? lmao…So, yeah…again, it takes some time and lot’s of patience to feel comfortable enough to share parts of themselves. It could be that at some point in their life they hated themselves for their softer side. They wanted to become stronger and colder. They hated being on the receiving end of this harsh reality, they wanted to be on top, maybe they also wanted revenge of some sort. I think they kinda like showing their rough edges or intimidating others. Because you know, if people are intimidated by you they usually do not dare to disrespect you, right? It could also have to do with their pride and with them hating revealing any weakness of theirs.

Also, whatever they are working on in their life, their work life makes up a large portion of their identity. They take a lot of pride in the amount of work they put into their achievements. This might also not be very apparent to others but I feel like they often reach their limit, working for too long, too hard and just ending up really tired and burned out. I feel like they rarely engage in anything self-care related. However, I see that if there is something important to them, then they are 100% willing to put in the work. Not only are they hard-working in a professional sense, they’re willing to work on their relationships, spirituality, and self-improvement. They make an effort with their looks, and they work out. Their workaholism may negatively impact their health. And their ‘career’ ambitions usually motivate them to always appear presentable — just in case they run into anybody important. They could also be meticulous with their diet and health routines.

Emotionally, they work on their emotions and thoughts systematically. This person may enjoy journaling or chronicling their experiences. At some point in their life they will learn how to process their feelings in a constructive way. They generally understand that anything worthwhile takes work and time to build up, whether it’s a relationship or a business. If you’re romantically involved with this person, they could be the type who would be willing to go to couples therapy to work on your relationship issues. It does seem like they believe in fixing what they already have rather than giving up. They are the type to make you feel like you’re with somebody who makes an effort. Whether you’re linked to this person romantically, platonically, or professionally, there’s a sense that they give as much into the relationship as you do. They don’t make you do all the work. This person is also persistent in everything they do. Always working on their self-improvement, they also have the humility to learn something new at every stage of life. To be honest, if you take the time to get to know them, you will see that they’re truly a sincere and earnest person.

(*Actually, I had finished this reading at this point already and started doing the other two piles but they turned longer than pile one and I felt the need to continue this pile at another time. I don’t know if this information is useful for you. But I feel your s/o just really takes a lot of time to open up, they have a lot of different layers to them and a hard shell. Their true inner self is a lot more different than how they seem to be outwardly. Just so you know, with this person you really gotta be patient if you want to build something whether it’s true friendship or a romantic relationship.)

(** I also wanted to let you know that I mentioned your s/o a little bit in pile two, I will just copy-paste here, so that you don’t have to read the whole 2nd pile: “Like pile one they can be very very patient! At first I got the feeling that the energy of pile two seems a little similar to pile one (only slightly) but while pile one seems more like the male lead of some isekai manhwa (like the typically black haired red eyes archduke lmao) that other people label as the villain - logical, unpredictable (kinda wild), powerful, intimidating and confident but a little withdrawn; pile two seems more like the second male lead - appearing smart and polite with a charming personality but then you find out they are actually controlling the whole empire behind the scenes and know everything that is going on lmao (obviously this comparison with ‘male leads’ has nothing to do with their gender - I just read too many isekai manhwas).)

(*** Also, I don’t why but the whole time during the reading I thought about Madara Uchiha from Naruto [I am a naruto stan btw so no shame✋] Even though he was one of the main villains, he was a softie as a child. He lived in cruel (war) times, lost all his family members (esp. his precious little brother at the end) and the ‘betrayal’ of his clan and the mistreatment from his one and only friend and true love just made him lose his mind… :( Anyways, I can understand if you shift for him sfjdk)

-> Possible energies in their chart : They definitely have strong air energy in some form in their chart mixed with a little earth and fire. Specifically, they could have/be one of the following signs: Libra, Capricorn, Virgo, Leo, Sagittarius (maybe even Scorpio/Cancer).

-> Timeless messages for you from them :

I hope the future will bring us together.

They took their time with this one lmao - I thought I wouldn’t get a message from them at first because they were hesitating to share something - but after this reading we all know they truly mean it from the bottom of their heart hehe

Once I continued this reading I tried to get a few more messages for you:

I don’t know what you see in me…

You shouldn’t wait for me. Prioritize your happiness.

It could lead to problems...

Other things/people were interfering and trying to control me and this connection.

I’m working on myself…I want a fresh start.

Not seeing you is hurting me so much…

The last message dayumm… Another advice I got from you which I think is more so regarding your shifting journey is that you’re asked to be patient because the passing of time will naturally solve your problems. In some situations only endurance helps. In the meantime, try to relax and focus on your happiness. Do something kind for yourself that warms your heart and treasure those seconds when you feel your heart beating. Also don’t reveal or show your personal treasures and things that are important to you to just anyone - not everyone is capable of understanding its preciousness. Just know and rest assured that everything will solve itself with time.

Thank you for reading, I would be very happy for some feedback. <3 Wishing you good luck on your journey, pile one!!

pile two

Hello pile two! Your s/o has a very calm energy. You might lose your sense of time while looking into their eyes lol. Something about their eyes or their gaze is special, mesmerizing even. They are very good at observing and analyzing; paying attention to details. There might be a tendency to overthink or over-analyze or just to take it to extremes at times - falling into traps of pettiness or obsession or being overly critical. This obviously not always the case but there MIGHT be a tendency. But all this observing is not for nothing, I see that they are very skilled and talented in what they do. The type to learn from other people’s mistakes while observing and acting behind the scenes. Like pile one they can be very very patient! Like pile one they can be very very patient! At first I got the feeling that the energy of pile two seems a little similar to pile one (only slightly) but while pile one seems more like the male lead of some isekai manhwa (like the typically black haired red eyes archduke lmao) that other people label as the villain - logical, unpredictable (kinda wild), powerful, intimidating and confident but a little withdrawn; pile two seems more like the second male lead - appearing smart and polite with a charming personality but then you find out they are actually controlling the whole empire behind the scenes and know everything that is going on lmao (obviously this comparison with ‘male leads’ has nothing to do with their gender - I just read too many isekai manhwas).

They’re someone that people might underestimate at first or think that they are harmless - maybe that’s exactly how they want to appear mhm… I do get the feeling that they are very good at seducing and charming people into doing what they want (they probably seduce you with their eyes and a little smile sdkslja). I just heard ‘they eye of the storm’, boii ok they can be really really calm even when everything around them is in chaos (- maybe that’s their doing?? lmao), they can shut out any distraction in order to analyze what is truly going on. And they can be very tenacious and persistent while actualizing their plans. I already mentioned that they are very skilled in some way but they also have an artistic side to them. I am not sure what exactly it is - it might be different for each of your s/o’s - some might be creative with fashion, self expression, acting, with music or instruments or other creative tools while for example planning how to reach their goals. Or maybe even with plants and nature if we look at this pile’s picture! Either way, they have an eye for aesthetics as well.

There is definitely something working behind the scenes, in hiding, under different names or with wearing masks (literally or metaphorical) - I think they learned in life that doing so usually works in their favor but it also at times limits their creativity and I feel like it created some (still unresolved) issues regarding self image and success. Maybe they’re suffering from imposter syndrome; always questioning who they really are ‘Am I who my audience thinks I am? What if I want to grow into something more/different?’ - is this creative ego fear? idk but in this aspect they seem like a ‘suffering artist’ - i think this shows itself more strongly in stressful times; then, they might also become more competitive. Not only are they good at creating new things and actualizing them, it also helps them to balance and calm themselves down in those times.

Their energy is very focused and sovereign. They also have natural leadership qualities but it manifests differently than in pile one’s s/o; it is more indirect and less straightforward and less pushy because pile two understands other people and their feelings and motivation better and they can use this to lead the people in the direction they want. I think they have always easily drawn other people’s attention but they might have been more shy in their childhood and only learned over time to just accept the spotlight - and to use it efficiently. As a child they might have been the type to ‘let life happen to them’, living their life very passively - maybe they had people around them that were very dominant/authoritative/manipulative/moody and your s/o just learned to observe and analyze, to adjust themselves and to be obedient. Maybe they weren’t even interested in taking on responsibilities or even to take control of their own life - I have a feeling that they were pushed into a position early on in their life that they really didn’t like. Only over time they gathered their courage, gained their confidence and took on their rightful place. On a side note, their older self might have a tendency to become slightly arrogant - they should avoid this.

They are an investor type of person, patient, methodical and systematic, not afraid to move slowly. They understand the importance of nurturing and cultivating the people and things they care about. A balance between masculine and feminine, active and passive, assertive and receptive. Taking their time when it comes to their body, health and their physical appearance. For them it’s a good investment to treat their physical body well. Persistent and disciplined, but also patient with themselves. They would never push themselves too hard at training or dieting or whatever. They prefer wearing clothes of high quality (talking about good investments again lol) rather than following some fashion trends. Not only are they good at patiently saving up for quality items they also tend to keep their investment pieces for a very long time. Timeless and practical in style.

Even emotionally they are patient and persistent. Not the type to rush anything. Keen observer who likes gathering information before making decisions. As a friend they are very generous and selfless - maybe even the type of person who likes to provide and help all of their friends (they don’t expect really anything in return but pls show at least your appreciation - they will maybe turn a blind eye to it a few times but if the disrespect keeps on repeating itself (you exploiting them and being rude) I can assure you it won’t end well for you lmao - don’t force them to be mean to you!). In romantic involvements with this person, don’t expect this person to commit quickly - even with people and relationships they take their time to analyze, observe and nurture. Slow burn. They are actually quite good at nurturing others (like they are good at self care) and they can be very passionate. Always thinking long term. A visionary at times. They are the type of person who makes you feel like it’s ok to slow down and take your time. They are not quitters but they know how to rest and when to let go of what they can’t control.

I think the picture really fits them well (regardless of gender); them in a white simple but pretty dress tending towards their plants with care while standing in this calm and pretty environment which they alone created - like in a safe peaceful bubble. A creator and nurturer.

-> Possible energies in their chart : They definitely have strong earth energy in some form in their chart mixed with a little fire and water. Specifically, they could have in their chart: Virgo, Taurus, Leo, strong Saturn and Mercury energy, strong Pluto/8th house,

-> Timeless messages for you from them :

We are healing and learning with all of this.

I am jealous just imagining you being with someone else.

I have always loved you… I’m sorry for realizing it so late.

This is too much for me right now…

I am not ready (yet).

You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.

You, my dear pile two, have or will definitely have something romantically going on there hehe… The order of these messages seem a little messed up but that’s how I received them. I felt ‘yearning energy’ from them but it felt a little hesitant and a bit uncontrolled - like they feel a lot for you but also want to take this slow and not rush this because they respect you and value you really a lot!

Thank you for reading, I would be very happy for some feedback. <3 Wishing you good luck on your journey, pile two!!

pile three

Hello! Dear pile three, your s/o surely is a person with a unique personality or they are quite unique or special to you/in your perception. One of the first things that I got about them is that they are a systems thinker, always figuring out how to get everything working together effectively. I can tell that they love well-built structures and nothing makes them happier than when everything is running smoothly and everyone is doing their part. By contrast, nothing annoys them more than when systems are poorly designed or built. You know they are the type of person that thinks that one never changes things by fighting the existing reality; to change something, you have to build a new model that makes the existing one obsolete. Once they understand the impact of a given action, they will never be able to ignore that problem until they have done their part to fix it.

They just excel at figuring things out and optimizing them. In fact, they have literally no tolerance in efficient things lmao. To be honest, it feels like it takes a bit of work to get them to work together. I think they have a slow internal processor (also very micro focused) - does that make sense? - either way that doesn't mean they’re stupid - in fact they are quite intelligent and have a sharp mind! Also, their sense of responsibility is quite strong. They’re always doing something and are quite stubborn/rigid in their ways - not very flexible. They are list makers and are all about the process. When things do not go as planned they can be very moody. In fact, the slightest interruption to a plan is enough to ruin their entire day (lmao I feel this). They are very detail oriented, for them specifics equal sincerity. They just have extremely high standards (often perfection) especially for themselves but also for other people). Even though they just want to improve the things around them, it might often seem to others that they are just overly critical - like nothing is good enough for them. I honestly feel like they do not get along well with others easily. They surely are incredibly loyal and also self denying. If you’re someone important to them they would do anything for you and I can assure it will be done well! While it often doesn’t seem that way from an outsider perspective, they do tend to put everyone else's needs ahead of their own and if they're not careful they will become resentful of this because they feel the burden to do it. At times this is a very justified feeling, at others it is a self-inflicted choice to take on the tasks. They are very practical and logical. Their thought process is analytical and systematic. This means that they have a specific way in which they feel things should be done. If it does not go as planned or if it does not go in this way, they feel it is "wrong" and this irritates them which in my opinion is comprehensible if you understand how their mind works. Flexibility is not in the inherent skill set for them. If they find a method, they stick to it.

It is important to notice that their intention is truly to help other people; however, more often than not, it feels like criticism to those people but this is just because it is hard for others to understand your s/o. I truly think they are not good at expressing themselves. They might have suffered from this - like being misunderstood, people finding their presence ‘annoying’ - too strong, too negative - and therefore they might have always been excluded or rejected by their peer groups. Of course this might have played out differently for each of your s/o’s my pile three people. When people suffer from such intense need for perfection, they usually have grown up in an environment where their parental figures (or just the people around them) made them feel like ‘this level of perfection’ is the norm - and if they don’t reach this level they are ‘complete failures or just useless’. They might have been emotionally pressured from early on, probably not having experienced much ‘healthy’ love - I say this because if they have done well, they might have received some kind of superficial/fake ‘love’ but only for those moments until they would have ‘failed the expectations’ again. This screams toxic emotionally/mentally unstable or distant parents. I don’t want to go any deeper into their childhood, right? But there is a reason why people are the way they are. Your person probably has never been ‘seen’ the way they truly are, never been understood - they just lived for someone else, constantly working hard, bearing the pressure, just to help someone else, to reach those imposed expectations, just to receive love and maybe even an approval for their existence. They always feel so much weight on their shoulders. So, to give you some tips, try not to take offense when they are serious and hyper focused. And, know that it is important to them that you appreciate their contributions. They value logic and need everything to make sense, so be sure you explain your point thoroughly. And finally, if you seem unstructured, or “willy nilly” to them this will create anxiety and possibly even a lack of trust! So, be careful with this. Show them respect by respecting their need for quality, logic, and structure. This person is probably wise beyond their years. This might surprise you at first. Behind their normal facade, they may have a lot of wisdom to share.

For physical characteristics, your s/o probably doesn’t put too much weight on fashion or anything they wear. They may have a very wise worldview on fashion and style. For example, they may choose what to wear in an almost philosophical way, but at the same time, they don’t take fashion too seriously lol. They might be the type to care about how the garments they wear were sourced or produced. They are someone who is practical in the way they dress, prioritizing ease of movement. They may enjoy wearing athleisure, light fabrics. I feel like their preferred look might be very active and athletic. They might enjoy spending time outdoors and/or hiking. Overall, they give me the vibes that they are very at peace with their physical appearance and that they’re very self-accepting and easygoing. If they do not appear that way at the time you get to know them, then it might have to do with their past/childhood which I assume was not really the best - so to say ‘unresolved childhood issues/trauma’. Even though they might have had some self harm inflicting habits or tendencies in their childhood, I feel like with age they learned the importance of a healthy body (but it feels like it’s more so because of efficiency than self love/self worth but oh well), so they learned how to treat their body better - this might even have turned to some health-obsession where they’re like super strict with their daily schedule, their diet etc. It truly depends on where on the journey your s/o is. (I still do think that they have some not healthy habits - I would even go as far and say coping mechanisms where they might punish themselves in some form when they feel like a ‘failure’ - which they obviously aren’t but they just have a rather questionable perception of themselves at times.)

Emotionally, they might be someone who carries their life lessons with them wherever they go. Even when young, this person might carry life lessons from previous past lives with them (if you believe in this). Even though their past might seem a little extreme, I don’t think they are living in the past or are stuck in the past - the past experiences don’t embitter this person (I don’t think that they blame anyone from their past - they rather would blame themselves), their experiences just make them more cautious and intentional. At some point in their life, they could have some spiritual awakening in some form. Your s/o’s raison d’être (other than improving things around them) may also be to seek out truths. They either hold a large amount of responsibility in their life or their job/profession, or they just take it very seriously. Honestly, your s/o’s presence might often not be very pleasant to other people but in my opinion with the wisdom your s/o’s shares and the way they life their life it forces people to see the uncomfortable truth and to learn, to move on and to grow - and we all know this is most often not a nice experience which might trigger consciously or unconsciously those people hence their negative attitude/reaction towards your s/o. If you ever struggle with something, I can tell you that your s/o can probably give the best advice, helping you change your perspective - it might be some hurtful truth but it is meant well on their end.

As I said before, they usually have good intentions and they have a selfless side to them. They are very generous - to themselves and others (but because of their past experience it might have been very hard to be generous to themselves for a longer period of time). Even if they are not wealthy, this person may be generous with their time and energy. They could be a good listener or a good friend to you. They might have a more passive, receptive energy. (We all have a little bit of both energies expressed in a balanced way, regardless of which gender we identify as.) They might be the type to share their food, to donate their clothes, and they’re really never secretive with advice. I think they are also very socially aware. They are very generally ‘open’ with others; they might not appear like an open book but if you ask them something they would always answer honestly, but they also know when they should not overstep. They’re the type that enjoys the finer things in life, but they would never flaunt what they have. In this aspect, they are all about balance and surely value quality over quantity.

They seem quite emotionally sensitive (in terms of sensing subtle things like other people’s intentions/moods) but also intimate, and laidback. They enjoy making the people that are important to them feel comfortable and at home. Again, they are generous with their money as well as their time. Whenever they can give to others, they probably will, and if not, they probably have a good reason for that. They always want to fulfill their end of the bargain. This is a friend that you surely want to keep around. Honestly, if you get to know them more, you would feel inspired by their generosity. They give from the kindness of their heart, not because they ask for anything in return. They are sincere. All they want is for you to pay it forward. If this doesn’t sound like your person at all, it could be because your person enjoys performing their acts of kindness in secret. They’re not doing it for show. They are the type of person who gives anonymously.

Another thing is that they might enjoy traveling (more so slowly and consciously - they are rarely in a hurry). Traveling for this person is a healing experience. They focus on the journey rather than the destination. They are someone who is in the process of healing - like their whole life seems like a healing journey (from the childhood they experienced). I don’t think they are the type to dwell in the suffering tho. This person is all about moving on, healing, and entering calmer waters. This is a future-oriented person. Although they’ve gone through their fair share of challenges, they still choose to remain optimistic about what is yet to come. They might also prefer to keep a smaller circle of trusted friends and family members (it is partly also because of the reasons we mentioned above - the struggle with being understood etc.) But they are very reliable, and you can also count on them to get whatever job done. This person is also very private, even when for example their job requires them to be in the public eye.

They are the type to make you feel just as calm and mellow as they are. If you’re romantically involved with this person, even though I mention quite a bit of their flaws and struggles, this person will move on from their past and heal, they are perfectly capable of healing - and I would even go so far and say they are destined to heal in this life they’re living. So, you don’t need to worry so much. They would not let a relationship with a person they care about become toxic or harmful. They learned that much and they would never wish this upon another person - especially upon the person they love, okay? I just felt like I had to make this clear. But going back to the ‘traveling’ part; they may even live in a different city/country from you. I don’t know what you scripted but I feel like you might communicate with each other at first from a distance (if your DR is in a modern setting, it might be over phones; if it’s in a traditional/fantasy setting, it might be through letters - I even had the imagery of small note sent by some bird idk a falcon or sth). They will be pretty easy to get along with in a long distance relationship because they enjoy having some time and space for themselves and they also truly commit when they decide on it. They have a calming and healing presence about them; but I feel like it shows more when they are with people they're close with and where they can feel at ease.

You remember how I said in the beginning that your s/o is someone unique, they truly are. Most people might not see how special and I would even say how precious they are. They might have started their life as a rough diamond not knowing their own worth but the more they live the more their worth comes to surface and the people that treated them bad in the past will come to regret their actions and behavior at some point. I feel like you will see their worth and their preciousness, you acknowledge their uniqueness and I think this beautiful (let me cry in a corner for a moment.)

-> Possible energies in their chart : They definitely have strong air energy in some form in their chart mixed with a little earth and water. Specifically, they could have in their chart: Aquarius, Taurus/Libra, Pisces, Capricorn, Virgo, strong Venus, Moon, Mercury and/or Saturn energy.

-> Timeless messages for you from them :

Don’t wait for me. I want you to be happy. And I don’t know how long it will take for me to be ready.

It just scares me to feel so much…

I’m feeling the consequences of my actions.

I’m sure I’m dreaming about you but I can’t seem to remember.

Things moved too fast and I didn’t know how to trust my feelings for you.

Please forgive me, I messed up.

I’m taking this seriously.

The order of these messages seem a little messed up but that’s how I received them. Based on their energy it seemed like they’re feeling apologetic towards you and are being quite hard on themselves because of what happened/will happen. Regarding the first message, they don’t want you to actively wait because it also puts pressure on them as well. They want you to make yourself happy NOW - even if it is just about putting on your favorite music and freely dancing to it. Being in that energy will help you find the right answer. Because they also want you to find out what you truly want without any pressure. They want to help you be your authentic self. The advice that I got was: Don’t wait for it, start now and make yourself happy. Miracles happen and sometimes life takes unexpected and wonderful turns. Be open and curious about what life has in store for you but do not actively wait for it to happen. I hope this advice makes sense and helps you somehow.

Thank you for letting me read your dr s/o’s energy. I only wish you both truly the best! If you could spare some time and give a me little feedback, I would be very grateful. <3

#pac #pac reading #shifting #shiftblr #shifting realities #my tarot readings #f/o imagines #love reading #tarot reading #pick a picture #reality shifting

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igotanidea · 1 year

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Heal the past: Dick Grayson x f!reader

Summary: Y/n and Dick has no secrets from each other. She is his pillar, strong and reliable and always there for the all the batboys. So, why does her health keep getting worse and what could she possibly keep in the dark?

Warnings: mentions of abuse, past trauma and therapy sessions, apart from that it's fluff/comfort

A/N: another story based loosely on a work case. I hate domestic violence incidents and hereby I dedicate this ff to everyone who has ever experienced one or currenly is - seek help, you can free yourself from that pain and fear. The first step is always the hardest.

„Y/N?”

„Hi there” she slowly turned her gaze towards the door where Dick was standing, eyeing her carefully. She tried her best to cover up for how she was feeling, but she was painfully aware he noticed everything. Her slightly red and puffy eyes, her reddened cheeks, the way she was holding her knees against her chest, rocking back and forth, mere seconds before his entering. He knew she wasn’t all good, there was no point in neither asking nor denying. If anyone was looking for a perfect example of a mess sure as hell she was one.

“How… how was it today?” He dared to take a step in, testing girls’ reaction and since she did not ask him to leave he came even closer, sitting on the edge of the bed next to her.

“Hard.” she managed to say. “But what’s new.” Another attempt at cover-up by using a sad smile.

“Is it a good or a bad sign?” it was so touching how truly concerned he was.

“I … I don’t really know. It’s just a lot to process, you know. The years of trauma and hiding your own feelings and emotions?”

“Believe me, I know well enough” he sighed deeply and she mentally slapped herself. He’s been through a lot as well.

“And yet, between you and me I am the one who was forced to start therapy sessions.”

“You weren’t forced……” he trailed, but she cut him off

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I was offered the chance to work through my past and convinced to accept.”

“Y/n……” he reached for her hand but she retrieved it from his grip, making his face drop a bit.

***

Half a year ago something bad started happening to her. Nightmares, constant fear. She had those symptoms before, but never so strong. It was not because of the fact that she became a part of bat family, taking care of teenage vigilantes and dating one of them. Nope. Surprisingly she was taking that pretty well, all things considered. This was the normal amount of stress. The problem was elsewhere and even though everyone was worried about her, she was just shrugging it off casually pretending she was doing fine. Nonetheless, it took an enormous amount of energy to suppress the shaking hands, calm the breath and not scream out loud when panic attacks creeps in for unknown reason. And then, because of all of this sucking up she started having headaches and later on, migraines, up to point where light was always too bright, and the sounds were always too loud. But she tried her best to survive, act strong and just live on, even if everyone knew something was terribly off. Their premonitions soon turned reality when she fainted in the kitchen. She didn’t even get a chance to wrap her mind around what was happening when out of the blue she got dizzy, the whole world was spinning and she felt as if someone hit her in the back of the head with something extremely heavy.

“Jason…..” she gasped since he was the one closest to her, his eyes immediately focusing on the girl and his expression changing from his natural wry to concern and a bit of fear

“Y/N? What is happening?”

“I’m not…….. I’m not feeling well….” she grabbed the kitchen counter stabilizing herself but it was for nothing “I think…. I’m gonna throw up…”

“Jeez, Y/N, in some other circumstances I would ask you if you are pregnant, but …. hey, come on, don’t plotz on me” thank god, he was quick enough to catch her before she hit the ground yelling for Dick to come quickly.

Grayson wasn’t usually the one to react to Jason commands and it was no different this time. It took three attempts to finally get him to move his butt, and he only did so, because his younger brother pointed out it was about Y/N. Just the mention of her name made Dick sprung out of the couch and rush to the kitchen. Oh, he did not expect to find his love unconscious in Jason’s arms and a lot of feelings flooded him. Confusion of what just happened, terror of whether she was alright and anger, ironically jealousy since Jason was the one to hold her and the unreasonable amount of guilt since because she was his girlfriend it was his duty to care about her and protect her. But all that could wait. She was the priority now. What was important, was checking her medical condition and finding out what caused her fainting. Dick was quick to take her from Jason and scoffing and frowning at his brother carried her to the bed, calling Alfred on the way.

While she was being checked up and still out cold, Dick refused to leave her side for a second, holding her hand in his, caressing her palm and praying silently that everything would turn up fine. He wouldn’t survive if it turned out that she was sick and dying for example. He should have taken better care of her, he shouldn’t have exposed her to so much stress, he should have told her to go see the doctor the second he noticed her health deteriorating. He should have…

“Master Dick?” Luckily, Alfred knew when to step in to stop the boy’s from beating himself up and his mind from spiraling

“Yes, Alfred?”

“She’s going to be all right. There’s no sign of anything suspicious about her organism. Maybe just a little increased blood pressure, but it will pass.”

“Thank God” Dick let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding “Thank you, Alfred.”

“It’s nothing .And … Dick?”

“Hm?” this time the boy did not even bother to look at the older man, his gaze fixed on the girl’s face, gently caressing her cheek, putting a strand of hair behind her ear.

“She’s gonna need some rest. And…. And I think she should see a specialist.”

“A specialist?” now he turned towards the butler “what do you mean?”

“Don’t you see? You know, master Dick for someone so well trained in observation as vigilante, you can be absolutely oblivious in real life. Y/N suffers from anxiety disorder. And maybe, maybe she’s a bit depressed, but I’m not qualified enough to determine that. “

“She’s what?” Dick opened his eyes wide in shock “Why? Why did she never tell me?”

“You will have to ask her about that yourself. I’ll leave you two alone.”

“When will she wake up?” Dick’s voice broke a little and Alfred knew how much strength it took for the boy to hold himself together upon hearing the revelations.

“Can’t really tell, but I suggest you to be patient.”

“Right…. Thank you, Alfred. Will you…. will you stay with her when I go patrolling tonight?”

“Are you crazy?” Jason came inside the room almost yelling at his older brother but quickly calming down when he noticed Y/N pale figure on the bed “You’re not going anywhere. Demon, replacement and me can take of things. She needs you more. Besides, I don’t think you;ll be able to focus on anything and as much I would love to see you beaten up for once, she would kill me if I ever let anything like that happen. Can’t risk her wrath.”

“Her wrath, huh?” Dick smirked

“Yeah. Of course. But… she’s gonna be all right, right? She just looks so weak….”

“We’ll make sure of that.”

“Why did no one tell me y/n lost consciousness?!”

“Father, calm down.”

“How can I calm down Damian? She’s……”

“She needs quiet. I suggest both of you stop yelling!”

“Who’s yelling now, Tim?!”

“Oh, shit….” Dick facepalmed

“I’ll get them out of here.” Jason stated simply

“Yeah, well, good luck with that.”

However, Jason did manage to drag Bruce, Tim and Damian out of the bedroom and forced them to focus on patrol, while Dick just stayed with Y/N. At first he was sitting beside her bed, but after fifteen minutes started getting nervous, pacing around. Why wasn’t she waking up? Alfred said she was fine, but … shit! He ruffled his hair in desperation. It was going to be a long night.

***

He gave up after three hours. He was exhausted from his own thoughts and walking back and forth like no night patrol has ever made him. Defeated by his own body and tiredness he finally laid down next to Y/N, gently sneaking his arms around her pulling her in from behind, nuzzling his face into her neck, hoping she would somehow feel his presence and the love he felt for her. Apart from a single sharp breath when he touched her and a bit of a shift in a position she did nothing more, especially did not wake up. So he just laid there, eyes shot, brows furrowed.

“Please, don’t leave me…..” he whispered against her soft skin.

***

She woke up two hours later, at 2 a.m., but not in the way he was expecting. She sprung out, crying and panting, definitely reliving some crazy nightmare. Her whole body was shaking, petrifaction in her eyes breaking his heart.

“No….” she panted, tears falling down “no, no, no, no, please……” apparently she wasn’t fully awake yet.

“Y/N” he said quietly, not wanting to scare her “It’s ok. It was just a nightmare. You’re safe. I’m here.”

“Di… dick?”

“I’m here, baby” he held her close to his chest, engulfing her in his warm embrace “No one is going to hurt you, I swear.”

“I….”

“Sh. You don’t need to say anything.“ he pulled her in even closer, not sure if he was trying to comfort her of himself. Maybe both. “Unless you want to. Do you want to?”

“No.” she shook her head

“All right then. We can just stay like this.”

“Dick?”

“Hm?” he hummed, stroking her hair and laying back down with her on top of him

“Can you just hold me like this for a while? I … I really need this.”

“Y/N. We’ve been together for like a year now and you still feel the need to ask me about it?”

“You know…. it comes from my past and……”

“Hey, it’s ok. You don’t need to explain. I will hold you for however long you need. And as long as you will allow me to.”

*** Dick knew she needed space, he did. But the nightmare that happened that one night repeated three more times in a row and he had to confront her about it. How could he let her suffer alone like this?

“Y/n, enough is enough.” He stormed into her room, not caring about the closed door

“What are you talking about?” she raised an eyebrow at him

“You need to tell me what is going on with you.”

“Nothing is…..”

“Stop it” he spat and she flinched at the tone. “Sorry, I did not mean it to come out like this” he rubbed his forehead “but I need to know what’s troubling you. I need to know what I can do to make it better…..”

“Dickie….”

“Please…” he whispered placing himself next to her, grabbing her chin softly making her look at him, knowing well enough she would try to avoid his gaze.

“How can I…..?” she gulped “how can I even begin to explain this…..?”

“Baby, it’s me. I love you. You don’t need to hide.”

“But….”

“Listen to me, nothing, nothing you did can make me change my mind about you.”

“But…..”

“I’m here for you.” he whispered kissing her forehead and this simple gesture broke her as she started sobbing, trying extremely hard to muffle it by covering her mouth with the hand. “What’s the nightmare about?”

“It’s… it’s about my father… Shit, it’s so stupid….. I should be over it, it has been so many years since…..”

“Did he do something to you?” Dick’s voice turned a bit more vigilante- like, his eyes glistening with first indications of rage

“He…. He was on short fuse… and…. Many, many times when I said or did something he did not like …..

“Y/N. You need to tell me exactly what did he do to you.”

“He used to beat me up…..” her voice was now barely a whisper “never enough to leave any bruises or cuts though. At least, not physically” she let out a hysterical laugh while still crying

“I’m gonna find him and kill him” Dick hissed, now turning into vigilante, but quickly getting back on earth. It was not right, whatever fury was running inside his veins. He could not comprehend how anyone, let alone man, fuck!, a father could use any aggression on his beloved girl. No wonder she was upset of late

“Dick, please, I’m sorry. I never should have told you. It was so long ago, I really have no idea why this started taking its toll on me now. Maybe it’s because I fell for you and … and I don’t really have good experience with men………. I’m sorry…”

“Why are you sorry? My babygirl. I love you so fucking much, you know it, right?” he pulled her into a hug, kissing her head repeatedly. I would never, never hurt you.” she was shaking hard in his embrace “God. Why did you never tell me this?” she muttered something incoherently, but he did not care about her reasons to keep it secret. “Did he beat your mum too?”

“I… I can’t remember. But to tell the truth, my mum was even worse at times…. She…..” Y/N started hyperventilating “she was more of a vocal aggressor….I… I….”

“Ok, that’s enough. Focus on me, ok? The past is in the past. You are mine to protect and care about and love . Whatever sad story you had, not every man is like your dad. I’m not.”

“I know” she sobbed desperately again “but it just hurts so deep. I never knew….”

“Sh.sh. Don’t worry. We’ll get you help. I promise. I’m not leaving you alone with this.”

And that was how she ended up in weekly meetings with psychologist. At first she was doing everything to avoid the uncomfortable, painful parts of her life. The doctor however was not easily manipulated and after first three meeting she was like a zombie, processing all the emotions extruded for years. Letting someone see them, riffle through them and make her fell apart was a lot. And deep inside she was worried if she could pick up all the pieces and figure out who she was under the surface. But slowly, slowly, she was healing and it was as much because of Dick’s and whole Batfamily support as of her own efforts.

*** Sometimes, there were bad days, obviously, sessions that made her feel broken, vulnerable and helpless. And this was definitely the case today. That was why she isolated herself in her room, putting all the information together in her head. And that was why Dick was a bit hesitant to check on her, but decided to give in and talk to her, hoping she won’t cut him out, but when she yanked her hand he wasn’t sure if it was good idea anymore.

“I’m sorry, Dick. I didn’t mean to give you the air” she looked him into the eyes, cupping his cheek “It’s just an old habit. I know you care about me. I’m… I’m still learning how to be more… open with what I feel. And how to get past my… well, past” she chuckled lightly and it was the best view he could ever see.

“Trust me, I’m learning with you. “ he leaned into her touch “And I need you to know that I’m proud of you.”

“Proud?”

“For putting yourself out there. I know it’s hard.”

“Whatever you say, Mr Nightwing.” She punched his chest

“Is this how you wanna play now, Miss Y/N?” he grabbed her wrist and kissed each of her knuckles, simplicity and tenderness of this gesture making her melt.

“Can you hold me?” she burst out “I need to know you are real and not just a friction of my imagination”

“Come here” he opened his arms and she dived in without any inhibitions. “Real enough for you?”

“I love you, you fool.” She mumbled and he laughed wholeheartedly. She was really healing.

“I love you too Y/N. More and more every day. ”

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nayatarot777 · 1 year

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how do they truly feel about you?

• pile one •

cards: 7 of cups, 2 of cups, the emperor, knight of wands

this person has mixed feelings about you - or just simply doesn’t know how they feel about you - but there’s definitely a good energy surrounding whatever these feelings are. they feel some sort of protectiveness over you but they don’t really know why. they could be used to surface level connections with others but there seems to be some sort of responsibility that they feel over you. they’re actually beginning to think about all of the possibilities that could come out of whatever you guys have going on - if there was to be some sort of stability and solid roots implemented into this connection. they’re just contemplating on how they’re going to approach connecting with you or connecting with you deeper. it seems like they want to make a rash decision and just go for the opportunity to make something happen, but there’s something that they’re confused about. the confusion could relate to the ambiguity of your relationship status and whether or not you’re already in a connection with someone else. but there’s a lot of fire energy here - mainly Aries energy is sticking out - and i feel like this person doesn’t plan on giving up on finding a way to approach you correctly. correctly enough to actually establish something solid between the two of you.

if you’d like a personal reading, please check out my pinned post 💞

• pile two •

cards: the world, the tower, queen of wands, 8 of swords

there’s definitely a lot of negativity surrounding this person’s feelings for you. they feel like you’re completely done with something thanks to your own self-governance and independence. they feel like you’re feeling free just doing your own thing, and like you’re thriving while they’re left in rubbles. there’s a lot of mental torment and anguish that they’re experiencing currently - and this is for the sake of their own change and transformation. they’re kind of choosing to keep themselves in this mental prison though, as if they’re pulling up every negative thought that they could about you or this situation and they’re comfortable enough to sit in that. i’m feeling a lot of regret too so they could feel like they were responsible for the destruction of whatever connection you had to each other. i’m also seeing that they could be victimising themselves in relation to you. maybe you did do something to hurt this person - maybe you didn’t - but they feel like you’re thriving and loving your life while they’re left in a mess. they also feel like you’re extremely disappointed in them too. or looking down on them for something. and they might assume that you feel as though you’re better than them. if that’s how you feel then…🤷🏾‍♀️

if you’d like a personal reading, please check out my pinned post 💞

• pile three •

cards: 7 of pentacles, the fool, 3 of swords, the hierophant

this person feels like their feelings for you are set in stone. they’re not going anywhere. but there’s something about your connection that feels very stagnant. maybe very routine and repetitive. this doesn’t even have to pertain to your physical lives together, but perhaps the growth in the relationship. and they feel like part of growing/improving this relationship requires them to work on something that they never have before. related to past pain or traumas. they might know that their viewpoints and beliefs about commitment, or standards that they hold themselves to needs to be worked on. it seems like whatever they feel like they’re stepping into with you is completely new to them, and they feel like they’re making foolish mistakes and being immature in some way. and like they don’t know what they’re doing. they might also have fears of you using them for something (for some of you in particular). especially if money is involved. and they could feel like the effort that they’re putting in also isn’t helping to reap the rewards in this connection that they’d like to see. there’s a sense of inadequacy here.

if you’d like a personal reading, please check out my pinned post 💞

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altocat · 7 months

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Um. Long essay ahead, sorry lol.

We are talking about the Genesis-Sephiroth drama and I must say: Genesis is so very human and I love that. I think he seriously thought that Seph needed to hear some cold, harsh truth to finally see why Shinra sucked and why he and Angeal had defected. So, he just went straight for Seph’s most painful issue—his mother and the answers regarding her.

I know we react viscerally to the idea of Gen having known about Seph searching for his mother and then weaponizing that, but think about it. Angeal is dead by that point and Genesis is on the verge of death. He is desperate. The man is broken to pieces after discovering that his entire existence had been a lie, an experiment, an abuse of power, etc., and that his own adoptive parents had “betrayed” him. He basically was reduced to an orphan that discovered how awful his care-takers were and how they had used him.

On top of all this, he lost Angeal, his closest childhood friend, to the SAME horrific downfall. I don’t think we talk enough about how Angeal’s death probably messed with Gen, but I feel that he gets noticeably crueler and frailer afterwards. Shinra took everything from those boys, and Gen’s last hope for any salvation was Sephiroth, who was STILL letting himself be under Shinra’s command. Genesis absolutely wanted to hurt him with a wakeup call and went for the heart with his dagger.

He probably thought he was doing well, that Sephiroth needed it, and yes, a strain of bitterness from their past rivalry tainted his words, but wasn’t it all just forgivable drivel in the face of their deeper friendship? In the end, Sephiroth could overlook that after seeing the light, yes?

Genesis wasn’t an idiot. He really did believe Sephiroth would help him despite the rude awakening, but what he lacked was deeper insight and empathy for his old friend.

Genesis had a normal chldhood. He understood family, he understood the idea of a “hometown,” he knew how to hold friends and have fun with his life—he had autonomy despite the lies surrounding his birth. Sephiroth had absolutely none of this throughout his life and had trusted his heart only to his friends—one of whom was dead by that point and the other seemingly a traitor who appeared to use his greatest weakness against him before demanding a part of his very essence. Sephiroth had nothing left in that moment.

Genesis did truly descend into his frenzied, imagined glory-tale of three friends that were all monsters and could save themselves together, thinking that he had a chance to full-fill that dream, but he made the mistake of underestimating Sephiroth’s crumbling mental stability as a human being. We saw what discovering the truth did to two kids that grew up fairly normal. It ruined them, killed them, made one of them cruel in many ways. Gen and Angeal suffered immensely believing they were monsters and eventually reshaped pieces of history in retaliation.

But Sephiroth? The “other” child of Shinra? The solitary one? The one that had been violated directly from the womb…not just through his mother’s cells…but from the time his own life force began to take shape? The one that had been raised to be a killing machine with no true connection to the outside world? His discovery of the truth broke his psyche and led to apocalyptic events.

Genesis simply failed to consider this, so his “splash of cold water” mixed with his own bitterness, which would have been cruel enough under normal circumstances, actually led to extremely dark consequences. I absolutely believe he knew that Sephiroth had been searching for his mother for his whole life, that Sephiroth had indicated it or brought it up at some point during their youth, regardless of whether the picture was involved or not.

I absolutely think Genesis weaponized Sephiroth’s gaping wound in that area, but I don’t think he realized how damaging it would truly be. He forgot that his friend was not at all “normal” and that his orphanhood was a different entity—something colder and more feral than most. Even most orphans are not completely deprived of normal lives and raised as weapons. We see this with many other characters. So many that lost their families or never knew them still found a way to make a place for themselves in the world or substitute their loss with something else.

Sephiroth literally could not do this as Shinra’s weapon. He had tried with his two friends and lost them both. He was already collapsing under the weight of it all, and Genesis simply did not see it in time. So, he played with fire and paid the price. That look of hurt on his face when Seph rejects him is genuine and raw and real. He had faith in them, in their friendship, and thought that it could withstand a bit of turmoil like it had in the past—but that only could have maybe been the case if Sephiroth had not been who he was—if he had been normal.

Genesis never quite fully understood his hero in the end and it makes me so fucking sad.

I don't think I could have said it better myself. Amazing analysis.

Genesis is a severely misunderstood character. It's really easy to dismiss him without taking a closer look at his feelings and motives. I think there was plenty of bitterness towards Seph, but we all seem to forget that Genesis' deepest, dearest desire at the end of the day was to share the apples with Sephiroth in a moment of acknowledgement. Genesis hurt Sephiroth badly, but there's more layers to it than just petty rivalry and Genesis being terrible just for the sake of it.

#asks #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #crisis core #sephcanons #sephiroth #genesis rhapsodos #angeal hewley #final fantasy

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kindredtarot · 8 months

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❛❛What you need to balance right now?❜❜

› ♡˖°꒰ Pick a pile

✦; Pile : 1 ˎˊ˗❞

6 of swords, 10 of pentacles, 7 of stones, queen of arrows, 2 of cups.

“I'm just really fuckin' selfish and really fuckin' lost. But someone loved me, someone fucking loved me. Someone fucking loved me and I fuckin' loved them too. Goddamn it, I was worth something, I fuckin' learned something. I had my cake (I ate it, it ate me too and, God, no)” — Feel Better by Penelope Scott

You need to balance your timely actions and patience. It looks like you are transitioning to a new stage in your life because you want to advance and achieve what you want. Are you choosing to leave behind old relationships? Probably a hard decision emotionally, but something you felt you had to do to protect yourself. “Can’t heal in the same environment that wounds me”. You want stability, finally. Maybe you want it before but insisted to try having it with people that wouldn’t give it to you. But now you are making steps towards it, starting with the choice to move on. You want to have a stable foundation financially and/or with your family, a place that you can actually call home and mot having to worry about having to protect yourself and your feelings 24/7. And you can get it, you just need to have patience with your healing journey.

You are going in the right direction. I know leaving people that you really cared about hurts and it might take some months or a year, but continue to take care of yourself, physically, emotionally, and mentally. It’s okay to let your mind remember and miss past moments sometimes, and to cry your heart out. Blocking those things would just make it harder in the long run, and you might already know that deep down. Resting and not doing nothing doesn’t mean your are giving up, take your time to get ready to continue towards what you want. Taking care of yourself will clear your mind and would help you communicate better and making better decisions towards your relationships with others and your possessions/money. I can see your relationships improving, with yourself and others, actual soul-touching connections. Maybe you always wanted a soul family, a group of friends that were like family or a healthy family life, whatever it was, I can see this area of your life improving and beautifully too. Just take priority and improve your relationship with yourself first and foremost, so you are ready with strong boundaries and understanding of what you truly want to start deep connections with others too.

✦; Pile : 2 ˎˊ˗❞

page of wands, 3 of pentacles, death, the tower, queen of pentacles, 3 of wands in reverse.

“Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky", the craftsmanship of their bones, their brain, and their body. When I look into the mirror for too long it hurts, they don't track how many steps it takes to burn off dessert. Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky". I'll let 'em take accountability. For everything that's wrong with me. Can't hold myself responsible. So I'll blame the metaphysical. If Jesus died for all our sins. He left one behind, the body I'm in. Same hands that made the moon and the stars. Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts” — God must hate me by Catie Turner

You need to balance how you view others vs yourself. You might put people in a pedestal and put yourself down unconsciously. You seem to be someone with so many ideas and plans, wild imagination! (You might be an artist). Someone that sees the “impossible” and is sure it could become possible! A really exciting and active person, whether that’s physically or mentally. You might like working in group or just admire people. They seems really interesting, so many new perspective. And they are talented too, in their own way. Maybe your achievements don’t seem as valuable to you just because you are admiring other people that seem to just have everything else you want. You have a lot too, in your life you were resilient. You sometimes might think you are giving up too easily but you are resilient. You are still going, aren’t you? Still trying or planning to get better and get to your goals. Don’t forget to look back to your past to realize how far you’ve come, how much you had learned. Just because all the things you had achieve aren’t as visible to others like what you see outside of yourself, doesn’t mean they don’t exist or are less.

Others seems so cool to you, and forget you are cool too. Do you have a lot of unfinished projects? So many ideas but maybe don’t fully follow through with them. And others seem to have their shit together already, finishing what they started. Instead of discouraging yourself, try observing the things you admire from those people and take what could help you keep going. Maybe you have problems with planning your projects or stay stuck on just planning instead of actually starting them. This unbalance in your views of others and yourself has to “die” to start building something better that would work for you. It won’t be easy to fix something that got stuck so deep in your subconscious but it is possible! It would make you feel really frustrated or confuse at the start, because a lot of beliefs that you had would be breaking and making you rethinks them and what you are doing with your actions. And that’s okay! Because you would understand yourself better and see you for who you truly are. A really cool creative person. You would nourishing more your creative mind, projects, and collaborations with people. You would start to work as a team, truly this time, because you would finally see yourself just as valuable as those who you admire are. And you would also go through your projects, because you would commit to them now. I can see you caring so much more about your projects in a practical way, and growing success and financial stability because of it. You might have setbacks after committing with your projects because you don’t really know how to advance with them, but those setbacks are gonna be temporary, so have patience with yourself. Every mistakes teaches a lesson, remember them for any future obstacle. And remember to ask for help when you need it too!

✦; Pile : 3 ˎˊ˗❞

5 of swords, ace of wands, 4 of cups, ace of pentacles, 10 of swords.

“Spider-boy, king of thieves. Weave your little webs of opacity. My pennies made your crown. Trick me once, trick me twice. Don't you know that cash ain't the only price? It's coming back around. And I keep my side of the street clean. You wouldn't know what I mean. 'Cause karma is my boyfriend. Karma is a god. Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend. Karma's a relaxing thought. Aren't you envious that for you it's not? Sweet like honey, karma is a cat. Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me. Flexing like a goddamn acrobat. Me and karma vibe like that” — Karma by Taylor Swift

You need to balance your thoughts, desires, and actions. You have to stop acting with your ego. Stop playing with your luck… I feel like you could have so many things but you might be impulsive and make moves that you know you shouldn’t be doing because they aren’t planned or because it might be tripping someone else and not even getting you nothing valuable at the end of it. You might be a little stubborn about this, maybe prefer not to follow “rules” or are scare of doing so because you think it might not work for you? Instead of making risky decision that barely give you anything or sometimes nothing at all. Try taking your time planning and making decision that even if they succeed or not, they would still level you up.

You have so much potential and a vision as well. But you can’t just go about it without planning nothing at all! Like trying to make a spark into a fire. You need to blow towards the spark correctly, if you don’t, you lose it and you don’t get the fire. And then your motivation is left on the cold. I understand the frustration, but don’t forget about what you have already. You can try to create a fire in the first place because you have the materials already. And you might receive a lot of opportunities that could help you but you don’t take them seriously because they aren’t up to your expectations or because you rush into them without thinking in what ways they could be helpful to you. Whatever it is, you are self sabotaging. You could help yourself up towards what you wants or you could destroy everything on your way. You actions are part of you, so think them through. You are constantly stabbing yourself with fear. Getting overwhelm and falling from exhaustion. Remember, the only thing that you can control is your actions and reactions. So don’t give power to fear and anxiety. Once you release that, you can hold your own power yourself and utilize it to make the right decisions. On choosing what you want, how you want it and how you are going to get it.

Don’t be scare of your potential and stop unleashing your decisions on others. karma might comeback later on to bite you in the back, but play your cards right and it could be your biggest helper! Just keep going and focus on doing better.

#pick a pile #pick a card #tarot reading #intuitive readings #spirituality #channeled reading #channeled message #pac #tarot community #free tarot

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imaginedreamwrite · 1 year

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ABO Wednesday!!

I'm thinking of Alpha Ari and his omega. When Ari is going feral with his rut period, his omega is still trying to catch up with their cycle and is not in heat(yet). Ari tries so hard to control himself from hurting her because in rut he gets carried away sometimes.😩😩(and some filthy smut of Ari breeding and creampie his omega😋😋

“I’m in a rut, you shouldn’t be here.” The door closes behind you, your fingers still pushing the wood shut and your back barely grazes the surface before you’re kicking off your shoes.

“Omega-“ he snaps his teeth, baring his aggressiveness toward you as a warning.

“I don’t care, Ari.” You slide forward, inching toward him.

“I could hurt you.” He’s the Beast; you’re the Beauty.

“You won’t hurt hurt me.” You approach again, slowly encroaching on him while he’s gripping his hair and groaning, his hard cocked twitching as he strokes it.

“Fuck!” He curses, and you made a mental note that you’ve never seen him this agitated. “Fuck, I wanna fuck you stupid!”

“Alpha,” you coo and approach Ari, not yet in your heat but responding to his rut, “it’s okay.”

“I’m gonna pump you so fucking full of cum, I’m gonna fill you to the fucking brim.” Ari growls, he gnashes his teeth and thrusts his hips into his own hand. “Come here, come here right fucking now!”

Your gentle alpha is unhinged, and your legs shake at the thought of this primal beast he’s become. He needs you, he wants you.

He will have you.

“Princess,” he growls again, arching his back and your gaze falls to the swollen head of his cock, the angry purple mushroom that leaks, “touch me, shit just-“

You fall to your knees and lean in, your lips and tongue touching the head of his cock like he wants. You inhale slowly and take his dick into your mouth inch by inch.

“Shit! Yes! Fuck-“ his hips thrust again, his hand falls to the back of your head. “P-Princess…”

You take more of him in, your lips stretching around his fat shaft. Your hands settle on his thighs just long enough to be stabilized and then you drop one to his balls and cup them as your tongue swirls.

“Baby…oh fuck…” Ari moans unhinged, his whines are cathartic as you enjoy the taste of him. “Good girl, good fucking omega…”

He sat on the couch with his legs spread and you between them, his head lolled back and his lips parted in moans as you tasted him. You teased him until he was nearing his end, licking and lapping and playing with his balls.

“Take it all.” He growled, so thick in his aggressive rut, gentle yet demanding, as he pushed you down to the base and filled your mouth with his thick seed.

** ** ** **

His lips trailed along your neck, his hands steadying your hips as he thrust his cock all the way in, the tip pushing against your cervix. He had groaned against your flesh while you whined his name, unable to muster anything but soft sounds as you were truly fucked out.

“Do you feel that?” Ari huffed animalistic, an alpha who was stretching you completely and wholly. “Do you like my cum, princess?”

“Y-yes,” you whimpered, your legs shaking and your heart thrashing in your chest, “h-hot-“

“I’m pumping you full, I’m going to pump you so full of me…” Ari slipped his hand between your bodies, tapping his fingers against your clit, “ya feel me? God, I can’t wait until you get pregnant.”

“You have a b-breeding kink?”

“Just for you baby.” Ari groaned and pulled away, just enough to see his cum and his seed starting to leak from your pussy.

“Sweet omega…” Ari hissed, pushing his cock back into your cunt. “Can’t waste anything.”

“Ari…”

“Relax, omega.” Ari kissed you softly, swallowing your moan. “We’re going to rest, we’re going to sleep and then we’ll do it all over again.”

#alpha!Ari Levinson x omega!Reader #alpha!ari levinson smut #a/b/o wednesday #a/b/o wednesdays

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rachetmath · 13 days

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Jaune Vol 10 Character Analysis

You know what I planned to make this a few pages long, but screw it, let’s talk about it. In Volume 10, I want Jaune to have that same energy back in Volumes 9 and 6. I’m sorry, but after everything Jaune has been through should not go back to being a comic relief character. No, not a chance, considering they're in the kingdom of Vacuo.

Vacuo, the desert kingdom might as well be the crime invested, savage, and brutal nation in all of Remnant. And this was the best place to bring thousands of people to? Imagine the amount of stress Jaune will be under due to the amount of work needed just to have stability. And he just got back from the Ever After. Imagine how hard it will be for him to readjust to Remnant, especially if the people start losing faith in the hunters. Not only that despite being reverted to the age he left in, he still is mentally older than everyone else.

Remember what Jaune’s mother told him, “A stranger is a friend you haven't met yet.” Well, that’s debatable now after being betrayed by so many people. So imagine Jaune thinking twice about trusting anyone, regardless of good intentions. Hell, have him question Emerald so she can prove herself or his allies for a change considering they barely do anything for him. Either way, Jaune… won’t be as trusting as before.

Next, after failing his friends multiple times at least story-wise…Jaune might as well be more obsessed with getting stronger than ever before. Even though Weiss, Yang, and Blake slightly helped him, it’s not enough to help him move past the amount of pain he went through like isolation, paranoia, and self-doubt. These things can make Jaune question himself, and lead him to want to quit, leaving the hunter world for good. Or die. This isn’t a good idea, considering Jaune is needed and is a hero in other people's eyes. (Jaune has been doing a better job than most characters, despite being the weakest in the group.)

Sadly, his friends may be unable to talk to him about it. I’m talking about Ren and Nora, mainly due to relating. But it's because they are both horrible teammates.

Okay, I explain my beef with these two. Ren and Nora, I tolerated at the beginning volumes. However, after volumes four to eight, I got frustrated with them enough that I didn’t mind if either of them or both of them died. Jaune always has to be there for both of them but neither is there for him when he truly needs them. I get it he is their leader but still. And before you all say “Ren and Nora have moments with Jaune.” My counterpoint is that most of them are forgettable and were outweighed by their other actions. Don’t believe me? Then let us discuss the volumes.

In volume four, it’s crazy that Ruby knows what Jaune has been doing more than his team. Let’s not forget during a fight with a Nuckalavee they were conversing while Jaune and Ruby were fighting for their lives. Look I understand, the Nuckalavee killed Ren’s parents but still. And don’t get me started on how they were willing to stand aside in the fight with Tyrian. At least Jaune was trying to help in response to Ruby jumping in between Qrow and Tyrian’s fight by herself.

Volume five, not going to lie, Nora was worried about Jaune but that was in a trap set up by Cinder and Raven. And to make matters worse they fought one man together while Jaune faced a maiden alone. Then when Jaune was healing Weiss, not knowing how long it would take, the moment Ren got hurt, Nora rushed in to help him, knowing Jaune may need protection. (I know it was under Jaune’s orders but come on.)

Volume six…. No. Let us skip this because even though it was a bad time, at least Nora and Ren said the sweetest thing ever. It’s too bad I can’t say those same words held up for volume seven. Nora and Ren were barely with Jaune at all. Jaune is more with Oscar than they were combined. Then they were useless in the fight with Neo and argued half the volume onto volume eight.

In volume eight, I truly started hating these two even more. Nora seems to care more about Oscar, to the where she has hugged him more than once, while I don’t recall one time she ever hugs Jaune. So far, in many volumes, she was straight-up rude to him. And even when he and Ren return from almost certain death she never says “Hi” and after healing her, Nora and Ren start having their moment again. Nora never said “Thank you”.

Speaking of Ren, we can’t forget this man calling Jaune out like he did, over something they all agreed to do. Understand, the circumstances they were in. Oscar got kidnapped by an unknown enemy. They were in a snow field with no shelter insight and they could die. All while Oscar was in enemy clutches with no way to reach him. With the facts in mind, was addressing any of what Ren said, important? “No. Why?” because not only was it not of any importance, there were too many counterpoints to his statements.

And what makes this worse, is when the portal to Vacuo, appears before them, they immediately use Jaune as a test subject instead of Emerald. Nope, these two are unless to Jaune if he starts going on the deep end. Emerald and Oscar might be a better choice than either of them. Hell, I’ll take the red-haired woman over them. I want Raven to talk to him or at least Qrow.

I want Raven to come back and talk to him, due to being one of the same. The only difference is Jaune’s actions were based on circumstances, while Raven’s were purely by choice. Imagine Raven telling Jaune every cruel thing she’s ever done. And how some of the decisions she’s made in her life, caused her more grief and hardship than good. She tells Jaune not to make the same mistakes she did. Telling him to press forward despite everything he has gone through. I wouldn’t mind if Raven bothers to train him if Jaune asks of her. And if that can't happen then give that role to Qrow. However, there is one person Jaune needs to stay away from and kill. Tyrian.

Tyrian is one of those toxic individuals, who will use and manipulate people to do things recklessly. Like I said before, the people's faith in the hunters could be diminishing. People like Tyrian will take advantage of this by using violence and chaos as a solution. When it's simply him pushing his own agenda. Tyrian was already interested in Jaune, but he never expressed why. Tyrian, in theory was like Jaune but life changed him somehow to be a monster. Jaune who's already close to insanity might as well be another reason fueling Tyrian’s curiosity. Tyrian wants to see how long it will take to break the knight’s spirit until he becomes just like him. Or push him to become another ally for Salem. Basically, instead of like Marco where he just forgets and moves on with his life, Jaune, I agree, becomes more like Samurai Jack. Or in this case, Odysseus, who I probably talk about later.

Samurai Jack, as many know was a Samurai, sent to the future and out for revenge against a demon known as Aku. He has experienced multiple failures, especially trying to find a way home to the past. Soon, he lost all chances of getting home to his family. And to make matters worse, he loses his sword and his way. This led to Jack being on the run and hiding from Aku. Sending him into a downward spiral as he felt all hope was lost. It wasn't until he met Ashi and remembered the good he had done for the people is when he rose to fight again, overcoming his demons. Odysseus, on the other hand, learns a different lesson. Again later.

If that’s the direction Jaune’s character is taking, then these are the requirements. Jaune moves on and embraces the reality that he isn’t the same person he once was before the Ever After. And he needs to find his strength once again. Planning and making better choices than the supposed headmasters and rulers of the world. And the best way to do that is to work on himself while separating from the group. What I’m theorizing is, when Alyx said “You’re not meant to be the hero.”, what could she have meant by it? Probably because while being a hero is good, being a ruler and leader for the people is a lot better.

#rwby #jaune arc #nora valkyrie #lie ren #oscar pines #emerald sustrai #qrow branwen #raven branwen #tyrian callows #samurai jack #marco diaz #odysseus #greenlight volume 10

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