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andkisses · 5 months

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♡ roman holiday | sunghoon ♡

will this bucket list trip be the thing that finally forces you to face your feelings? or will it be the thing that tears the two of you apart for good?

♡ sunghoon x gn!reader | wc. 9.4k ♡ genres/tropes: childhood friends to lovers and the fluff and angst that comes with it, college!au (not obvious but implied), road trips ♡ mentions of/warnings: arguments, references to a toxic family environment, allusions to drowning, i think that’s all but lmk if there’s smth else that needs added! ♡ a/n: this has been a wip for SOO long we’re talking YEARS and has changed muses several times but i finally sat down to finish this and im so proud of what i managed <3 truly some of my favorite things ive ever written ! inspired by roman holiday by halsey! this is also the longest thing i think i have ever written <3

♡ masterlist ♡

The coffee ring on the counter stares back at you, warm brown against a stark egg white. You can’t tell if it’s old or new, and part of you doesn’t care. Another part wants to know, though, when the coffee stain was made and why it was never cleaned. The motel is practically empty, the older lady behind the front desk and a tired-looking family in the corner of the dining room are the only other inhabitants.

Through the windows, dressed quaintly with homesewn drapes, you see the tall mountain trees, dark green and prickly, stretching up to the crystal blue sky. The television across the room is set to the weather station, and the anchor talks about how a cold front could potentially lead to an early snow.

A tray with various breakfast items clunks against the table, and the boy you’ve been traveling with settles in across from you, faux leather chair seat squeaking beneath in subtle “I’m hardly ever used” protest. His dark hair falls into his eyes messily, as if he only just now got up and rolled out of bed. The red flannel and vest he wears matches the surroundings, but looks absurd on your best friend.

“Sunghoon,” you start, interlacing your fingers and resting your chin on the bridge they form. Your eyes scan the tray, accounting each and every tiny portion of food. Eggs, both scrambled and hard boiled, some toast with an assortment of little jam containers, a little bowl of butter, two pancakes, half a waffle, and a few strips of bacon. “Thank you for getting everything,” you continue, leveling a stare over the top of your nose, “but you forgot the syrup.”

The boy in front of you blinks, bites his lips, and nods his head. A soft yeah, I forgot the syrup escapes his lips as he slides out of his chair, the pleather squeaking once again. “Give me like two minutes,” he says, “the breakfast bar is crazy to navigate. Do you see the things I do for you?” His smile is teasing.

“It’s no problem, Hoon—” Your voice trails off as he jogs off into the distance. You shake your head, feeling lethargic and sleepy beneath the slow-turning ceiling fan. Your gaze follows its metallic clink, and the fan seems as if it’s never been replaced in the 50-something years this establishment has operated.

You’re brought back down by a small tug on your sleeve, and when you look, it’s the little girl from the tired family across the room. She blinks up at you, not much unlike Sunghoon, innocent and full of curiosity. You nod your head, encouraging her to talk. The little girl takes a big gulp of air, dual pigtails bobbing, before, “I think your boyfriend is very nice and I like how he gets you your breakfast.”

The laugh that leaves you is easy, the statement hardly shocking at all. You’re used to it, strangers and acquaintances alike assuming the relationship status between the two of you. It’s nothing new. The little girl’s face is confused, her head listing to one side. You nod again, swallowing any additional laughter. “He’s not my boyfriend,” you reply, and you see a little bit of the light in her eyes diminish. “We’re just really good friends. He’s my best friend, actually.”

The girl’s brows furrowed together, a small pout forming on her lips. Obviously not the answer she was expecting. Then she nods, lips pursed. “Yeah, okay,” she mutters, seeming confused. Before she turns to walk back to her family, she looks back up and adds, “He’s a good friend. I would keep him as my friend for a long time.”

“That’s what I intend on doing, kiddo.” Your voice is quiet as the little girl skips back across the old, faded carpet towards her family. You see Sunghoon emerge from the breakfast bar, where everyone else at this motel must be. He waves small packets of syrup in the air. The smile that flits across your face is fleeting. You try to ignore, again, this feeling in your chest. Your voice is small, talking to yourself. “For as long as possible.”

***

The candy-colored Valentine stared back at you, practically mocking you. Third grade and only one Valentine. You tried to fight back the tears, attempted to sniff them back inside, but nothing worked. They fell, one by one, onto the homemade card, soaking through the pink construction paper and leaving roundly-shaped wet splotches across your only card.

You read the simple message, “Happy Valentine’s! – Sunghoon”, over and over and over again. You racked your brain, trying to figure out why, why, why no one else gave you a card. You were nice, you offered to help them when they needed it. It seemed like everyone liked you. They even let you sit by them at lunch.

So why?

The hand on your shoulder startled you, your head whipping up to face the figure standing beside the desk. It was Sunghoon, the boy who gave you the only Valentine in your possession. The edges of his dark hair curled around his eyebrows and the corners of his eyes. His brow scrunched with worry, and he ducked down to see your face.

“Are you okay?”

You shook your head, a bitter pout filling out your lips. “Does it look like I’m okay?”

Sunghoon shrugged, removing his hand to pull out the seat beside you. “I guess not.” He pursed his lips, hands clasped in his lap, before looking back at you. “What’s the matter?”

You flung the single Valentine—his own Valentine—back at him. The construction paper flew through the air before catching, floating down to land on the table by Sunghoon, who deftly picked it up and turned it over in his hands.

“It’s the only one you got?”

You nodded, crossing your arms on your desk and sinking into them. A heavy sigh left your chest and you sniffled, trying to keep the angry tears from falling again. You wished the day would end; that the bell would ring and release you so you could go home and cry somewhere comfier instead.

There was silence, then, “Does it matter if you only got one?”

You scoffed, still hidden in your arms. “Uh, duh? It means no one in this class likes me.”

“Then… why does it matter if everyone else doesn’t like you? Shouldn’t one person liking you be okay?”

You bit your lip. You can’t tell if you like his thinking or not. You decided not to respond.

You heard the chair scrape against the wood floor beside you, and you figured it was Sunghoon leaving to return to the other students. That was fine, you figured. It’s what you should expect, anyway. Even if he was the only one who gave you a Valentine, it was probably only because he gave the whole class Valentine’s. What a guy.

Then the chair was drug against the floor again, much closer this time. You popped your head up, a scowl still on your face, to see what was happening. Sunghoon had scooted it closer, and in his hands was another Valentine. You watched as he flipped the card over to the decorated side and skillfully pulled off the foam heart-shaped sticker, as if he’d had to do this thousands of times before.

His question is one you didn’t expect. “Where do you want to go?”

You look up at him, incredulous. “What do you mean?”

“Well, if you don’t have many friends here, you must want to be somewhere else?” Sunghoon shrugged, as if the thought made perfect sense to him. “Right?”

You pursed your lips, mimicking his shrug. “I guess you’re right...”

“Then,” Sunghoon began again, “where do you want to go?”

“Uhm, my house?” you answered. Crying on your fluffy bed would be much more comfortable than crying on this hard desk. Your arms were sore from resting on the edge and your back was stiff from the awkward angle.

Sunghoon shook his head. “No, think bigger. Like, vacation places and stuff.”

“Hmm... then, maybe, the big cities? The ones you always see in TV shows. And... the beach, because the ocean is really nice.”

Sunghoon nodded, diligently taking note of every place you suggested. His handwriting is a little crooked, but it fit on the now vacant front of a Valentine’s card. He looked up at you, eyes wide with question. “Anywhere else?”

You frowned, deep in thought. Then, as if someone tapped you on the shoulder and whispered it in your ear, an idea sprung to mind. “A really tall mountain, where it’s snowy all the time. No matter the season”

The pencil lead pulled across the paper, leaving information behind. Sunghoon returned to the top of the page, tapping the pencil’s eraser on the side of his cheek before scribbling a final note down. “There! It’s finished!” He slid it over in front of you.

You read the title of the list aloud: “The Wanderlist? But that isn’t even a word.”

Sunghoon shook his head. “It is now.” He leaned over, pointing at all the places you had stated. “And that’s everywhere we’re gonna go, because I’m your best friend now. We won’t be lonely, because we have each other. And we’re gonna travel all over.”

You sat up, leveling him a stare. “Well, this is gonna be expensive, you know. Trips aren’t free. They cost a lot.”

Sunghoon smiled, the kind that, even for a tin moment, makes everything seem like it’s possible. “Then we better start saving now!”

***

The pink paper stares up at you from its place on the dashboard, stuck with a random sticker right next to the air vent. The edges had aged, curling and warping, and your tear stains from 3rd grade are still faintly visible. You read over the list—your wanderlist, as Sunghoon had named it all those years ago.

1. Big cities (because TV) x2!!

2. The beach (because cool ocean)

3. Tall mountain (because always snow)

The big city had been marked off in 6th grade, when the class had a trip to the modern art museum, and again in 8th grade for a series of school-wide competitions, from writing and art to band to mathematics and science. Sunghoon had excelled at creative writing while you swept the math category for your region.

The beach was crossed off the day before the two of you left for college. How bitter it was that you had to be separated, together for ten years only to be settled in two different places. Yes, you weren’t that far away. A half day’s drive. But you both knew, deep down, how likely seeing each other was.

So you did something about it. The day before, you woke up before the sun. You loaded his car up with everything you would need for a daytrip, and you took off for the coast. You spent the whole day, afternoon, and evening parked at a spot on the beach. If you think about it now, you can still smell the seabreeze, imagine it in your hair. You can hear Sunghoon’s laugh, about what, you can’t remember. You do remember how happy you both were.

You remember sitting side by side, sharing a blanket over your shoulders as the seabreeze grew colder, watching the sun disappear on the horizon. You remember the thoughts you had–the ones you normally stamped down and annoyed. You should tell him. You’d been so close before. You wouldn’t even say the word to yourself, but you knew.

You didn’t say anything

“Can you believe these clouds?” Sunghoon says, slipping into the driver's seat and shutting the door. He places his keys into the ignition and turns like he always had. You watch the keychain you got him freshman year of high school swing from momentum. When you look back up, Sunghoon is watching you, leaning one elbow on the center console, hair in his eyes. “I suppose even the weather believes my sunny disposition is more than enough.”

“Oh, please,” you scoff, smacking his shoulder. You turn to look out the window, biting your lip. You’ve got to get it together. You blame that little girl from breakfast. You’d been doing just fine not thinking about Sunghoon in That Way. Now here you were, all these stupid feelings drummed up.

It doesn’t help that Sunghoon pulls out a cassette–MT-PSH-5–and pops it into the player. His smile grows wide as he turns out of the parking lot and onto the road, heading further up the mountain. “Nothing like some classic tunes.”

It was dumb. It didn’t mean anything.

It’s all you can think about.

Sneaking out late, hot summer heat still sticky and oppressing. You could feel the waves rise up from the concrete as it finally felt relief in the moonlight. You’d felt like dressing up, sneaking into your mother’s room and applying her fancy department store perfume to the nape of your neck. Your fingers gracefully found her pearls in the glass bowl on the dresser as you left, and you pulled them over your head, letting them rest against your collar bone. They’re still cool against your hot skin.

You escaped through the back patio, walking past the fist-sized hole in the drywall you wished you could forget about. The dusty edges kept raining down debris if someone walked too close to it. You let yourself out the gate in the fence, pulling it shut behind you. You felt for the keys to the front door in your pocket, and they jingled in response. You clasped your hand around the cool metal, the cuts sharp and edgy beneath your palm.

He met you at the corner of his street and yours, his dark hair swallowing up the soft moonlight. It made his features seem younger, softer. It felt like you were kids again.

You fell in line beside each other, walking the empty streets without fear. Who was to stop some teenagers walking the street at midnight? Random cars passed by, people finally returning home from the late shift but paying no mind to you two. And that was fine; you didn’t want them to care.

The black gates around the community pool glinted in the yellow streetlights, reaching out to you like a beacon. The closer you drew, the more the overwhelming scent of chlorine filled the air. You walked forward, hands in your jacket pockets, one wrapped tightly around your house keys. You took a deep, steadying breath. This was fine. You had this.

“Hey, [Y/N], do we really have to do this?”

You rolled your eyes, pulling your hands from your pockets and grabbing the top of the fence. You’d have to pull yourself up, and be extra careful of the metal pickets at the top. It’d be tough, but you could make it. “What?” you snapped back lightly, voice echoing amongst the night. “Scared of hopping the fence?”

“No, that’d be ridiculous,” Sunghoon replied, crossing his arms and shifting his weight to rest on one foot. “Jumping fences is nothing for me. Jumping fences into property that—” he pointed to a white and red sign just beside your knees. “—considers jumping fences into property after hours as illegal and trespassing? That sets me on edge.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes again. “It’s not like they’ve got police roaming around or anything, and the owner’s too cheap for security cameras. I’m sure if we tried hard enough, we could just pull the fence down instead of having to jump it.” For emphasis, you grabbed hold of the rods and shook. A loud metallic echo escaped into the night, and before you could pull back and shake a third time, Sunghoon had dashed to your side, placing his hands on yours to stop you.

His brown eyes caught the light as he shook his head back and forth and hissed, “If you’re going to do something illegal, do it quietly! Especially when I’m here.”

You leaned forward, head inching towards his, with a scowl on your face. “Then shut up and hop the fence.” You drew back, replacing your hands at the top and pulled yourself up and over with ease. Maybe mandatory PE did have benefits.. Your sneakers landed on the pavement, and when you stood upright from the landing, you stared at Sunghoon through the bars. “You can either join me,” you began, a smirk on your face, chin tilted up, “or you could just wait while I go and find my car keys.”

You turned on your heels, walking towards the lifeguard’s shack. You could have sworn the sigh you heard was strong enough to blow the fence down altogether

Your shoes scuffed against the concrete, and you felt the humid air of the pool spill over and try to reach out to you. Its arms clung and bit at your ankles as the water inside sloshed around with the teasing wind. You shook them off, changing course from the pool’s edge to the guard’s shack. The padlock on the door seemed old—really old—and you crossed your fingers before giving a giant tug and having it pop open in your hands.

The wooden door swung open and you stepped inside the dingy shack. Various lost pool toys littered the floor, and a box of deflated tricolor beach balls appeared to have seen better days. But you weren’t interested in any of that: you needed your car keys. Above you, nestled nearly at the top of the peaked roof was a loft filled with white plastic bins. One of them, you noted, was closer to the edge than the others, as if someone had lazily swung it up there.

You crossed your fingers again, reaching up to pull the basket down to you. “Please be there, please be there, please be there,” you chanted under your breath. You peered into the basket. On top, someone’s embroidered handkerchief. You pinched the soft material between your finger and thumb before tossing it aside in the basket. Someone’s crazy straw, two Rubik’s Cubes, a school ID lanyard, and—yes!

You fished your car keys out with one hand and swung the basket back up into the loft with the other. You turned to leave, ready to find Sunghoon, reunite with your car, and drive home, but before you can even take a single step back out you’ve run into something.

Or someone.

Your scream’s instantly shushed by your best friend, a single finger coming up against your lips. Sunghoon was so close, and you felt the pool humidity roll off his shoulders as he looked at you with confusion. “Are you done?” he asked. “And why are you screaming?”

You shook your head, holding up your keys. “Yes. Also, you scared me. How did you get in here? I didn’t think you’d hop the fence.”

“Didn’t have to.” Sunghoon held up a matching padlock to the one you’d pulled off outside. “Looks like the owner’s too cheap to buy actual locks for his gates. I simply walked in.”

You left the lifeguard’s shack, replacing the lock and headed for the entrance, where Sunghoon easily swung open the wrought iron gate. You walked towards your car as Sunghoon redid the lock, simply looping it through and clicking it shut.

You kissed your car keys and unlocked the doors, swinging down into the driver’s seat. Sunghoon slid into the passenger seat beside you, and as soon as his door shut, the engine was starting and you were pulling out of the parking spot.

“Let a guy put on his seatbelt first?” Sunghoon joked as he clicked his into place. “I don’t see you wearing yours, [Y/N].”

“Then you’re not looking close enough,” you replied, taking one hand off the wheel to pull at your own seatbelt. “Seems as if someone isn’t paying attention.”

“Forgive me, I was busy making sure no one saw our illegal activity. I would like to graduate high school next year with a clean record.”

You laughed something similar to a scoff as you flicked on your turn signal and made your way down his street. “You say that as if we robbed a bank. Is it really trespassing if the locks don’t even work? The wind could have undone them.” You turned to catch a glance at your friend, and what you caught was a judgmental glare in the green glow of the dashboard.

With a simple curve of the steering wheel, you pulled in front of his house. You shifted the car in park and rotated towards the passenger seat. “Thanks for breaking the law with me, Sunghoon. It means a lot. I’m touched.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. He leaned towards the door, making as if to pull the handle and open it, when he reached inside his pocket. His eyes lit up and he turned back towards you. “Oh, yeah!”

You shook your head, confused. You hold a single hand up. “Oh, yeah, what?”

“Here’s that mixtape you wanted,” Sunghoon answers, placing a cassette tape in your unintentionally outstretched hand. You scowled. You didn’t know how he had the technology to make a cassette in this day and age, but then again, you were the one with a car so old it still had a cassette player. You two were a pair, you supposed.

“When did you finish it?” you asked, spinning it around in your hands. The clear, Sharpie handwriting read MT-PSH-5 on the short white label.

“This morning,” he replied, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“Why didn’t you give it to me earlier, then?” You turn to look at him. The yellow glow of the streetlights blend in with the green of the dashboard lights. His eyes remained that entrancing brown color, though. Romantic and homey all at once, untouchable by any other shade.

Sunghoon shrugged. “Perhaps it was because you didn’t have a car to play it in when I finished it? It was unavailable to you, shall we say.”

“Ha, ha, very funny.” You kept turning the cassette in your hands, as if you’d find something new and exciting on each turn.

“Oh, and—” Sunghoon leaned across the center console, reaching to take the tape from your hands, like he had something to say or show you. But he stopped. His brows furrowed together, and he turned to you, face mere inches from your own. “Are you wearing perfume?”

You nodded. “Yeah. My mom’s, and I got mad at her since she got mad at me about the car so I...”

An eyebrow quirked up. “You’re showing your mom up by stealing some of her perfume?”

“It’s expensive,” you muttered, sliding down into your seat. “She’ll have to pay for it later. Literally.”

And with that, he laughed. Nice and hearty and his eyes turned into tiny crescent moons and you felt your heart flutter—something that had happened a lot as of late, and you’re not entirely sure why. Yes, Sunghoon was a good friend. A best friend. But that’s all he was. He—

“Hey.” Your attention snapped from a distance spot on the road over to him, and he felt even closer now for some reason. Your heart registered how soft he’d spoken and proceeded to beat faster because of it. His eyes searched yours, but for what you don’t know. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet. “Make sure you get home safe, okay? Wouldn’t want anything happening to the city’s greatest delinquent.”

“Yeah,” you laughed, but it was short and stilted. You barely heard what he said over the thumping of your own blood in your ears. You felt the red flush creep up your neck, dusting your cheeks and turning your ears a cherry color. When you swallowed, your mouth suddenly dry, all you could think about was how loud it seemed. Your grip on the mixtape tightened, it seemingly the only thing tethering you to the real world.

You couldn’t tell if the radio was one or not or whether you’d turned car off and left the keys in the ignition. All you could tell was Sunghoon, so close and so real he almost seemed unreal. And then it happened. He leaned in, eyes fluttering shut before placing a soft kiss on the side of your cheek, right next to your lips. It happened too fast and it was the slowest moment of your life all at once. Your heart was practically screaming now, hands rattling around the mixtape.

When he pulled back, he kept going, opening the car door and stepping out. Before closing it, he leaned in and nodded. “I meant what I said about getting back safely. Promise?”

You nodded. “I promise.” You were surprised your voice worked at all. That you were able to form a coherent, albeit a simplistic, sentence. That you could think at all. The door swung shut and you shifted the car into drive.

The whole way home felt automatic, limbs working separate from your internal instructions. When you returned home, you pulled up beside your mailbox and turned the car off, pulling the keys and letting them rest in your hand. You sat motionless, seatbelt still in place, as you stared, eyes fixated at someone mindless spot on the dashboard. The pearls were cool against your heated skin.

It was dumb. It didn’t mean anything.

It’s all you can think about.

You flip the mixtape over in your hands, reading the slightly-faded yet still legible handwriting. MT-HVC-5. You’d run through the songs already, and Sunghoon had switched to some CD mixes he had brought. Why he didn’t get a car with Bluetooth, something you’d done a while ago, you’d never know. Maybe that was part of his charm.

You’d managed to learn to forget about that kiss, or at least ignore it. But Sunghoon pulling out the mixtape he’d given you that night pulls it back up to the surface. You aren’t even sure how it even got into his possession. The longer you recall the memory, the more you can feel the burn on your cheek from where his warm lips touched your skin. The rest of the flush comes back from how you wish so badly it would happen again.

“What’s up?”

“Huh?” You turn towards his voice, away from the window.

“I asked what’s up,” Sunghoon repeats, looking over at you for a split second before returning to the road. “You seem like we’re on another planet.”

“Just thinking about when we were younger, you know...” Did he? What did you want him to think about? The day you’ve been obsessing over? And then what would he do about it? Pull over and confess? Kiss you, but mean it this time?

Sunghoon laughs, breaking your thoughts. He spares another quick glance in your direction. “Younger like what? Like third grade or two days ago?”

You reach across the center console to smack his shoulder. “Why would it be two days ago?”

“We were younger then. Wild, foolish.” Sunghoon takes one hand off the wheel and places his knuckles on his forehead. “The way we were is actually unimaginable now.”

“I’m done with you.”

Sunghoon scoffs. “Sure you are.” A quick beat, a hum to the music. “Anyway, what were you thinking about?”

You’re quiet for a moment. Then, “Do you think we'll change?”

“We have changed.”

“Really?” He said it so simply, it takes you off guard. You turn to look at him, even though you know he’ll keep his eyes glued safely to the road.

“Yeah,” he shrugs. “We’ve totally changed. We don't like the same kinds of music as the old us used to. We don't eat mac and cheese for every conceivable meal—except for the day after that one chem exam.”

“That final was hard!” You reach across the center console to shove at his shoulder–oh, god, why do you keep finding ways to put your hands on him?–earning a smug grin. “None of it was covered in class and you know it!”

“See what I mean?” Sunghoon asks. “We're different, but like, a good different. We’ve adapted.”

The silence that fills the car after isn’t weighty or overbearing. It’s comfortable and common, safe like a child-loved security blanket. Yet, somehow, your stomach fills with stones of dread, and all you want to do is sleep off any bad feelings.

You keep your eyes trained ahead, the curving mountain road, when you ask, “Do you ever think we'll be bad different?

Sunghoon spares a confused glance at you, brows knit together as he switches focus between you and the road. He shakes his head. “No, not us. Never us.”

“Is that a promise?”

The hand closest to you leaves the steering wheel and drifts over the center console, pinky out. “Always.”

You wrap your pinky around his, and try to ignore the heated flush you feel creeping up your neck and the backs of your ears. You focus, instead, on how real Sunghoon feels. How solid the mixtape is in your hands. How, here out in what feels like the middle of nowhere surrounded by evergreens and roadside snow piles that have started to pop up and tall mountain views, time doesn’t feel like it can get you.

Maybe he’s right.

Maybe, out here, there’s only good different.

Maybe, that’s all you need.

The clouds from the morning have turned darker, more potent. You can smell rain in the air, hear it as the wind rushes through the trees. It’s so cold though, you wonder if it will snow instead. The mountain weather you’d been looking forward to for so long.

Sunghoon knocks his shoulder into yours, cheeks pink from the cold. He swings your duffle bag towards you, letting go of the strap before you’ve gotten a good grip on it. “Your luggage,” he declares, before marching towards the hotel entrance.

You’d both decided, with your combined measly college student incomes, that wherever the last hotel would be, it needed to be the best you could afford. Standing in front of it now, styled like a fancy chateau with white walls and a red roof, you think the two of you made the right choice.

You had forgot what made such a nice place so affordable, until Sunghoon swipes the key, opens the door for you, gesturing for you to walk in first. The room is cute and delicate, with pretty yet aged wainscotting, petite floral wallpaper, a nice view of the surrounding mountains and–

And one bed.

You freeze. You can’t help it. Maybe the you from this morning, before that girl talked to you, could handle this. The you of right now? The lady at the front desk calling you a cute couple, and Sunghoon going along with it and not correcting her, didn’t help. You aren’t sure if you’re strong enough to keep everything the same.

“Rats,” Sunghoon says, and you breathe a sigh of relief. He’s not cool with this either, you think. He turns toward you with a coy smile. “I’m gonna go back downstairs and ask for more pillows. Three simply won’t cut it. Want me to ask for some fancy water?”

You shake your head, voice gone, and you don’t move until you hear the door shut behind Sunghoon.

And that’s when it starts, as you drag your feet in circles trying to think your way through this. Your hands clench and unclench, fists forming so tightly you leave half-moons from your nails in the fleshy part of your palm. Your breath comes ragged and shallow, and you feel like drowning, except from too much instead of not enough. Too many memories reminding you of too many things. Too many emotions leading to too many feelings you neither want to recognize or acknowledge.

But one keeps pushing its way to the forefront, demanding attention and definition. The one that’s been bothering you all day. It makes you dizzy, to the point you feel you need to lay down and clutch at your stomach. Maybe that’s it, you think as you sit on the edge of the one bed. You’re just sick. Breakfast was bad. But you know it’s not. It makes you angry, because how dare you feel this way about him. It makes you flustered, since you shouldn't look at your best friend's face and have your gaze wander to his lips and wonder what they'd feel like against yours.

It makes you happy, so undeniably happy that you feel like crying, because it feels so right. When you allow yourself to think more about it, and imagine what life would be like if you were able to confirm and agree with all the strangers who already think you’re dating. Lovers. It fills you up with breaths of fresh air to the point it's like floating on cotton clouds.

It makes you fearful. Its dark side claws at your heart, threatening to tear at the tender seams and leave you bloody and raw, so intensely damaged you're afraid of doing anything along the same lines. You had asked about a bad different, and Sunghoon said it wasn’t possible. Right now, you feel like you have to disagree–confessing this? Altering the relationship you’ve carefully crafted for so long?

That would be a bad different.

That’s why, when Sunghoon comes back, three more pillows and a bottle of sparkling water, you don’t answer. You roll over on the bed, curling up away from him, hiding with a pillow on your head. You hear Sunghoon say something about it being a long drive, and he gets it, you should rest. You hear him open the closet door, then feel the spare blanket get draped over you.

And, as you lay here, hot silent tears threatening to spill over and run down your cheeks, you let yourself think about it. You're in love with your best friend. Your nail-bitten palms come to swipe at your eyes, you make the mistake of sniffing aloud. Sunghoon calls your name, and you hate how much you savor the worry in his voice.

But, it’s also too much. He can’t know, you decide. Not now, not ever. That is what would be best, you decide, for the two of you. To be able to get through the rest of this trip.

“[Y/N], what is it?” he calls again. Sunghoon’s voice is laced with care, something tender and soft and so distinctly him it pulls at the tears in your eyes. How can he make this so unfair? “What's wrong?”

“You wouldn't understand,” you snap, pulling yourself to sit up, the pillow falling off. You don’t look at him, but instead at your hands, fists in your lap. Sunghoon easily notes your posture, and confusion floods his features. You hate how quickly he can figure out something’s wrong, that something is bothering you.

“Can I try to understand, at least?” You look up at him, lips pursed, tears smarting your eyes. You take him in–turned towards you in the chair, sitting on the edge, like he can jump to your rescue at any time. The confused look in his eyes hurts—you've always been straightforward with one another. But you know you can’t about this. “I can’t try to fix it if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

You shake your head, wiping one of your cheeks with your fingers, a half laugh falling from your lips. “No, Hoon it's—”

“No.”

The force of the single word hits you, and it hurts more than the angry look in his eye.

He stands, takes a step toward you, then sits hesitantly on the edge of the bed. He's close, and he's been closer, but it's still too much. The rushing sound is back in your ears and your heart pounds against your ribs, telling you to do something, anything, but you stay still.

“Hoon—”

“I said no, [Y/N].” Sunghoon’s words are ice, colder than the breeze outside and sharper than butcher knives. His eyes, once warm and homey, that romantic shade of brown you love, are now dark and piercing. “You don't get to call me special names when you aren't telling me what's wrong. When you aren't acting like the [Y/N] I've known since third grade.” His hands come up to run through his hair, and it flips slowly back into place. His voice drops, the softer, confused Sunghoon returning. “You've been acting weird this whole trip, and especially since this morning. It's driving me insane that I can't figure it out and fix it. I know you better than this.”

He's so close, so, so close. Much too close. Somehow he’s scooted towards you on the bed. You can smell his cologne—when did he start doing that? Why hadn’t you noticed earlier? His eyes are back to the romantic brown, the warm and homey color, the ones that remind you of so many good memories—his eyes are so pretty. Your gaze follows its past patterns and drops to his lips, redder from being gnawed on with worry. A kiss would—

A shaky breath leaves you, and you're talking before you realize, voice so small it's hard to hear. But Sunghoon is listening. He always does.

You blink. “Do you want to know what's wrong?”

“Of course. I need to know if I can do anything or—”

“It's you.”

You want to be upset, angry. How dare it come to this. But you can’t, you realize. You can’t be angry at him. Whatever energy you had coursing through your veins leaves after your pseudo confession, and you turn away, resting your weight on the headboard, hoping he’ll go away.

This, for certain, was bad different. You can feel it, weighing you down. Here, in a chilly, single bed hotel room, you’d ruined everything. Your brain told you to shut up, to be quiet, to try and save anything you could manage from this shattering relationship. But your mouth—or maybe your heart—kept going, and going, and going.

“It’s you,” you repeat, turning back towards him. He’s still there, frozen in place, face filled with concern. “It’s everything you do. The way you... you tell me bad jokes when I’m upset over a grade or make me mixtapes because you want to share your music with me. It’s–I’m–I’m sick of it. I hate it. I hate you”

Sunghoon recoils, eyes wide. He looks around the room, as if the answers to what to say are hidden around. He stands, backing up without turning away, like you’re something he has to keep his eyes on or he’ll get hurt again.

Again.

Sunghoon’s voice is flat when he speaks, like he’s out of breath. Shaky, like he’s about to cry, too. What have you done? “I’m… I’ll go downstairs and ask about if there’s anything nice around for dinner. I’ll–I’ll wait for you in the lobby. Whenever you’re ready, you know.”

Even now, after the nasty things–after I hate you left your lips–he’s still trying to make peace with you.

What did you do to ever deserve him?

And would he even stay with you once you return home?

The door falling shut is what starts your tears again. You slump down off the bed, between it and the window. You pull your knees up to your chest, put your head in your hands, and you cry.

***

It still isn’t over.

You’re breathing heavy, tears still stinging your eyes, but you aren’t sure if you’ve actually cried yet or not. Your fists are balled at your sides. Years of friendship are stuck in your throat, enough to make you want to scream or cry or vomit from the nauseous feeling it induces. The pouring rain, those clouds finally opening up, doesn’t help.

Dinner had been awful, awkward. The only person either of you talked to had been the waiter. You can’t remember what the food tasted like. You can’t remember what, if any, songs played on the radio on the way back. Sunghoon hadn’t bothered to pick anything out. All you could remember, or hear, or see in your head–I hate you. The look in his eyes. How he has barely looked at you since.

You aren’t sure what you have to do to get away, but you’d be willing to make a deal.

Anything to get away from this moment.

Anything to get away from your best friend.

Sunghoon stares at you like he’s only just now met you, and maybe he has. He’d stopped you halfway between the car and the hotel’s entrance, despite the rain. He’d called your name in such a way you froze. Your angered confession from earlier hangs in the air, untouched or acknowledged. A single parking lot light illuminates you two, dim yellow casting shadows through the rain.

“Do you mean that? What you said?” he asks, daring to step forward. You don’t move, anchored in place. By fear or something else, you aren’t sure. He takes another, then a third. The gap between you has been halved. “I know you don’t mean it. I’ve been thinking about it this whole time. You don’t mean it.”

“What makes you so sure?” you spit, taking a step closer in your upset. You level Sunghoon with a stare you hope is intimidating, bitter. You hope he sees the duress. You have to push him away. “I said what I said. I hate you, Park Sunghoon.”

The boy shakes his head, hair stuck to his forehead from the rain. He seems almost incredulous, and it angers you even more. Why doesn’t he get it? There’s a small smirk at the corners of his lips, but you’ve known him long enough to recognize it as mock confidence. “You didn’t mean what you said.”

“I did!” Another step, and now you’re nose to nose with him, staring into the eyes you’ve had memorized for so long, that romantic brown even in the rain and yellow streetlight. Your gaze betrays you and you drink in the slope of his nose, see how his eyes examine you as well. Note the downturn of his lips, almost unnoticeable. Your voice is weaker when you speak again. “I did mean it, Sunghoon.”

He leans in, closer and closer until he stops–a breath away from your lips. He freezes, closes his eyes, and waits.

And you cave, despite your best interests. You find yourself tilting your head and wishing he’d do something more. This can’t be how your first kiss with Sunghoon goes? When he pulls back, and you nearly stumble forward. You look up at him, and the smile on his face is no longer mock. You know what his question will be before he says it, and you know he’s caught you in your lie. “You hate me so much–why did you kiss me back?”

You want to spit back, I didn’t! You want to argue. But the truth is, ever since you’d remembered that day in high school, you’d been imagining what it would be like to actually kiss him, and again, and again. You wanted to know what kissing Sunghoon would be like, even if it meant redefining the relationship you worked so hard to keep as is. The one you said you hated him to protect.

Sunghoon gently cups the sides of your face, forcing you to look at him, and you see worry and concern etched into the space between his brows, spilt in the color of his eyes. “Tell me,” he whispers, voice almost breaking, “what’s wrong. Let me try to fix it.”

You shake your head, trying to form words to explain everything, but all you do is shiver drastically beneath his touch. You watch as Sunghoon’s eyes grow wide, and he leads you inside, arm over your shoulder. The woman at the front desks awards you a quirked eyebrow, but that’s all you get before she returns to her clipboard.

The room is icy cold when you return, but Sunghoon adjusts the temperature in silence. “You get dry first,” he says, pointing at the bathroom. “Take a shower and get warm.”

“But about you?” You want to point out the subtle shake in his hands, and the way his breath catches. “There’s not enough towels to share.”

“I’ll ask for more at the front desk. I’ll be fine. Go.”

The shower water never feels hot enough, but you do stop shivering. You do your best to towel dry your hair. When you peek the door open to see if he’s back, and if you could get your things, you see that Sunghoon has already done it for you. Everything you could need taken from your bag, folded and placed nicely right outside the door. You have no idea when he did it–you’re thankful he did.

When he comes back with extra towels–which, surely, did not take this long–you’re curled up on the bed, similar to before. You rest your weight on the headboard, looking out the window at how the rain patters against the glass. You wish you could see the stars.

Sunghoon is fast, but who’s to say? You aren’t exactly keeping track of time. You know he’s back because you feel the mattress shift. His voice is almost silent when he speaks. “Can we talk?”

“About what?” you ask, turning towards him. You haven’t seen Sunghoon look this tired in a while. And you know it’s your fault. “How I was mean to you?”

Sunghoon smiles, looking down at his clasped hands. He takes a moment to determine what he actually wants to say. “Let’s start with…what it is about me that made you say that?”

His eyes are pleading in the dark. The room is barely lit, the overhead light off. There’s just a lamp on the desk and the streetlight from outside. The rain sound is almost overwhelming in the silence. “If there’s something I’ve done that hurt you–”

“It’s not that. It’s–” You pause, trying to find the right thing to say. You decide to start with the obvious. “There’s a reason I kissed you outside.”

Sunghoon rolls his eyes. “Yeah, because I’m charming and irresistible.”

“This is serious!” You do what you always do when he makes some kind of quip–you reach out to push his shoulder, scooting closer, but Sunghoon catches you by your wrist.

“I am serious. Do you know how much you hurt me when you said you hated me?” He levels you a stare, one that makes you want to shrink away, but you can’t. “When I left, I didn’t ask the front desk about restaurants. I went to my car and sat down and cried because the person I love just said they hated me.”

“You love me?”

“Not like that,” he corrects, and now you have to know what he means.

“Tell me how then.” You take your free hand and grab his other wrist, a mirror of what he’s done to you. “When you say you love me, what do you mean?”

“It’s not like you think, not like what it has been.” Sunghoon looks down, takes a deep breath, then carries on. “Not like friends, or like siblings, but like–”

“Lovers?” you offer.

Sunghoon swallows, sets his jaw. Then, “Yes. Like that. And I don’t know when it happened. I don’t know if it was overnight or gradual or all at once. I do know that I woke up one morning and I realized that I didn’t want to imagine my future with anyone else. And I didn’t want to see you with anyone else, either.”

“Kinda selfish,” you say.

Sunghoon laughs. “Yeah. I couldn’t help it.”

Somehow, you’ve both moved closer to each other. The knees of your crossed legs knock into each other. You still have a hold on the other’s wrist. Sunghoon levels you another stare. “Will you tell me why?”

“Why I said I hated you?” He nods, and you take a deep sigh. “Do you remember the night we snuck into the pool to get my car keys back?”

He nods again, a small smile on his face. “You mean the first night I got enough courage to kiss you? You looked so pretty, with the pearls and the perfume.”

You blush, hearing Sunghoon talk about you like that. “That night. I’ve been thinking a lot about it. And you know how all these people always say we look like a couple or whatever. And it all just stuck together and made me realize that I haven’t seen you like a friend in a long time. I’ve seen you like–”

“A lover?” Sunghoon offers, copying you from earlier.

You smile. “I said I hated you because I was afraid and overwhelmed, and I need you away from me. I thought that if you hated me, I could get over you and just move on. We could make up, and I wouldn’t have these feelings anymore, and we could go back to being friends.

“But if I’m being honest,” you add, moving even closer. Your shoulders knock into one other. “Even though it wasn’t even that long, those hours over dinner just now were some of the worst things I have ever had to do. I was ugly to you, Sunghoon, and you’re the last person on earth who would ever deserve to be talked to that way. But if you could forgive me, I…”

You try to look down again, but Sunghoon lets go of your wrist to place a finger under your chin, tipping your head up to his gaze. “You what?”

“I love you. I’m in love with you, I’ve been in love with you. I love you, Park Sunghoon.” You take a deep breath, just as lightning strikes somewhere far away and the thunder rumbles through the room.

Sunghoon reaches out for you, his hands reach cupping your face again. It’s the most reverent you’ve ever seen him. His eyes roam over your every feature, as if you’ll break if he breathes too hard. It’s thrilling. “Genuinely?” he asks, voice fragile. “You love me?”

“Yes,” you whisper. It feels wrong to be too loud right now, like someone else could join in this moment between the two of you. “And if you would have me, I’d like to love you for a long time after this.”

Sunghoon pulls you to him, resting your forehead against his. He takes a deep breath. Then, “We’ve both just been really, really stupid about it, haven’t we?”

You laugh, savoring his touch and his warm and his smile. You stare into his eyes, those romantic brown ones you love so much. “I guess so.”

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, and your heart jumps. “I know we did outside, but that’s a terrible story for a first kiss.”

“And the one from so long ago doesn’t count, because you just gave me a kiss then,” you say, not sure why you’re rambling when you have the opportunity to just kiss him already.

So, you shut up, and you do.

This kiss is reverent, unlike any that came before. You probably shouldn’t even bother comparing them. Maybe it’s the intentions behind the kiss—that you both want to be here, doing this, for the sake of just being, not proving. Maybe it’s because it hasn’t followed any dramatic late night outings or arguments. Maybe, it’s how you shiver closer to his frame, hands on his shoulders, and his own find the small of your back. You feel his smile against your lips, and the butterflies against your ribs.

Maybe, you should have said something a while ago. You could have avoided the whole I hate you stint, but then would anything else have been dramatic? Some couples are like puzzle pieces, perfectly fitting together with no stress. And maybe you two are a puzzle, one that fits together with ease, but you both intentionally hid pieces from the other, making it difficult to complete. Maybe airing grievances is the only way to get all the pieces back on the table.

You sigh as Sunghoon’s lips travel from your own down the line of your jaw, tickling in a delightful way. You feel safe in his arms, a safe you’ve always felt, but now it feels like something more, something even greater. Your heart jumps, and you throw your arms around his neck, pulling him close. Sunghoon instinctively holds you tighter, his hands against your shoulder blades.

“What is it?” he asks.

You shake your head, finding any words to be incredibly difficult. “I’m just—I’m glad.”

Sunghoon pulls back gently, quirking his head to one side as he looks at you. He uses the pad of his thumb to gently wipe away a stray tear. “Glad for what?” he asks, still cupping your cheek.

You lean into his touch, feeling dizzy with excitement and relief. “Glad that it’s you,” you say, your voice quiet. You lean in, placing a chaste kiss against his lips and, for once, he’s the one to shiver. “I’m glad you’re the one I love. Glad we’re here now, finally.”

Sunghoon pauses. His eyes dart between yours, your lips, and back. He rests his forehead on yours again, and you can already imagine getting used to this, and craving it when you can’t have it. “I waited so long, and I didn’t even know if...” There’s a catch in his voice, and he sounds like he’s about to cry. When he opens his eyes, there’s an honesty to them, a gaze you’ve only seen in Sunghoon’s eyes a handful of times. He smiles, his eyes going soft once more, like you are the most beautiful thing he has ever beheld. And to him, you are. “I always knew we were meant to be.”

***

The lady behind the desk did, in fact, look at you two like you were crazy. The night before you were acting like you were gonna tear each other to pieces. But now you’re walking out in each other’s arms? His around your shoulder, yours around his waist?

The sun is out, and there’s hardly any evidence of the downpour from last night. Maybe the earth needed to be just as dramatic as the two of you.

With the luggage in back, you two climb into the front seats. Sunghoon leans over the center console to press a kiss to your temple, just like he did when you woke up in each other’s arms and just like he did when he insisted on getting you whatever you wanted for breakfast.

“That’s not something new though?” you laugh, as he brings you small portions of everything the hotel had to offer. “You did this before.”

“Well, it’s obviously different now,” he replies. “I didn’t get to kiss you before.”

Now, Sunghoon taps at the Valentine heart on the dash–your wanderlist. What started this all. “We need a new one,” he says. “It took us a while, but we did everything on here. Should the new one be full of cringey couple things?”

“Only if you’d like to go back to being single.”

Sunghoon fakes shock as he shifts the car into gear. “You wouldn’t.”

This time, you lean over to give him a kiss, and you relish how quickly he blushes. “You’re right, I wouldn’t.” You sit back down, still turned towards him, hand atop his. “Maybe, we make the list up as we go. I mean, we’ve never been here before.”

“Didn’t stop third grade us,” he says. “Honestly, they seemed like they had everything together. We should think more like third grade us.”

“You mean complaining about how much things cost? Because I can think of so many things we could do together that would put major dents in our wallets.”

Sunghoon turns to you, a mischievous twinkle in his eye, and you know you’ve got this right, even if it took a while to get here. He reaches over, poking your cheek, before turning out of the parking lot. “Then let’s go find it, together.”

#kdiarynet #kwritersworld #kflixnet #k-labels #enhypen fluff #enhypen headcanons #enhypen scenarioes #enhypen imagines #sunghoon fluff #sunghoon headcanons #sunghoon scenarioes #sunghoon imagines #enhypen #fluff #angst #college!au #ftl

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ellepooff · 2 years

Note

hii, i hope you‘re doing well! i‘d like to make a request.

sukuna comforting his burnt out partner? like they‘re unmotivated, tired and more quiet than usual and just need some hugs & kisses and stuff👉🏻👈🏻

i wish you a wonderful day! i love your writing <3

sukuna x burnt out!reader (no gender defined)

warnings: none, just fluff and soft sukuna word count: 500 my masterlist

hi! i’m doing okay, and i hope you are too! im soo stoked you sent a request, and i had a ton of fun writing it

i hope you like it, and i’m glad you enjoy my writing— it means a lot <33

it had been a stressful week, more like a stressful few weeks. everything was piling on top of one another, and you started to neglect yourself. you were barely sleeping five hours, skipping meals— just doing the bare minimum. you knew you deserved better from yourself, but lately, it felt like a chore. you’d even started distancing yourself in your relationship. sukuna noticed how you wouldn’t light up when you saw him like you used to. he noticed the exhausted glint in your eyes. he noticed how you would stay in your shared bed for hours, occasionally forcing yourself to do some work, unmotivated to do anything else.

normally, he didn’t act like this, but this was an exception to get you feeling like yourself again. he was ready to do anything and everything to help you feel better. he started by going into your shared room, folding the clothes that were thrown haphazardly on the floor, organizing your vanity area, and making sure your pillows and blanket were fluffed. he smiled to himself as he looked his work over, proud of what he had done. soon, he heard the front door open, and your steps making their way inside.

“just in time.” he thought.

once again, you didn’t even spare a glance in his direction. he frowned and carefully followed you to the bedroom.

he saw you looking around the now clean room, “my love?” he spoke in the softest voice he could muster. you sharply turned your heads towards his deep, mellow voice, “kuna?”

the softer tone of his voice surprised you, and it shocked you even more when he engulfed you in his arms. your head was buried in his broad chest with his head sat atop your own.

“i know you haven’t been feeling like yourself lately… let me help you,” he punctuated his statement with a kiss on the top of your head.

you could feel the tears welling up, “‘m sorry, kuna.”

he quickly shushed you, “don’t say sorry, sweetheart. It’s all okay now. just let me be here for you, okay?” you slightly nodded your head, letting your tears fall freely as sukuna held you.

he brought you to the bed, letting you curl up in his lap completely sheltered from everything else. after so long, it felt good to be in his arms again letting his sweet words flood your head. you knew sukuna would help you feel better again, you just needed to let him.

you lifted your head, your wet eyes meeting his adoring ones, “thank you, kuna,” you meekly spoke with a small smile. his hand came up to your cheek, his thumb wiping your tears away before his lips met yours. it was a welcoming kiss that made you feel warm inside like he was your home.

you smiled as you pulled away, wrapping your arms around him a little tighter. “get some sleep, love,” he whispered, gently pulling the covers over you and planting one last kiss on your forehead.

xxx

#sukuna #sukuna fluff #jjk fluff #jjk ryomen #ryomen sukuna #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk x you #sukuna x you #sukuna comfort

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ssin-ent · 2 years

Note

soo the hard hours are open??? cuz i've been thinking all day about jeongin getting tired of everyone treats him like a baby but just let it go but when y/n (who are younger than him) join the members and start babying him the boy just go wild and show her that he's not a baby but a mf daddy and fuck her until she can't walk the other day

and i also was thinking about y/n going to sleep in the dorm with minho (the old dorm), he has a wet dream and wake up really hard wanting to fuck her but since the boys are sleeping they have to be quiet

jofhhrf IKR cause I'm slowly growing out of seeing him as my baby with how hot he is being lately like ( my baby is such a grown up i migh cry *snif*)

omg I have a LOT of things to say on this hbvkfk big brain anon cause we know Jeongin knows how to fuck you welll ( boy is a switch and is such a good sub and top I'm sure of this) he'd dom the shit out of you to the point you can only moan and take it ( as good as i think Minho is, cause they'd both leave you speechless)

when he sees you limping the next day and the members question you about it, he'd be so proud like I can imagine him do that cute smile yet boy literally ruined you - im whipped-

Minho fucking you in spooning position with a hand over your mouth or making you suck on his finger as he holds you close against him and pants in your hear about how good you feel and how much he needs you. The way he'd struggle not to just turn you around and take you right here and there

needy minho>>>>

-----------------

hard hours open

#kpop #kpop smut #stray kids #stray kids smut #felix smut #stray kids jeongin smut #I.N #I.N smut #stray kids minho smut

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daegall · 3 years

Text

End of a day

pairing: Na Jaemin x reader

Genre: fluff, angst (?)

🎶: End of a day by Kim Jonghyun

Word count: 2.3k words (more than i planned jgsjjf)

Warnings: umm lots of fluff?? And sad jaemin :((

Network/s: @neoturtles

A/n: JFNSJFBJWBF UGHHHHH TUMBLR 😩😩😩😩 STOP BEING A BITCH PLS 😭😭😭😭😭 THIS IS HE SECOND TIME IM POSTING THIS 😃 enjoy it tho :)) it’s better than all my other works tbh so dint be too disappointed if you check the others :’)

Thousands of people work every day, tired and upset, and yet they get up the next day to do the exact same thing. That’s how life is. It seems like nobody has a problem with that, maybe it’s because they’ve become so accustomed to it, or maybe they don’t want to come out pathetic and weaker to others, but they just keep going. It’s amazing, really, the way the mind works. Some people want to come off as strong and hard to read, and others just want to make friends and have fun.

Perhaps you were both, but today, you were none. All you felt was tiredness and stress. All you wanted to do was rip off these painfully uncomfortable clothes and curl into bed next to Jaemin.

At last, you reach your home you share with Jaemin, opening the door as he texted you he would leave it unlocked for you. Sluggishly and with no care in the world, you fling your shoes somewhere around the shoe rack, launching your bag to the couch, “I’m home!” no reply. With a huff, you make a beeline towards your shared room, emotions getting worse with every step you take. You twist the knob to your room, pushing it open, “Jaemin, you in he-”

Reach out and cover my neck

Please massage my shoulder a little further down

All your moodiness fades away when you spot your tired boyfriend quietly sniffling into his palms, seating looking too uncomfortable, even the sight of it throws your clothes into despair. “Jaemin...” you slowly inch towards him, heart shattering when he lets out a sob. He’s still in his work suit, something you loved on him, but now it just looked like it was suffering him. “Jaemin, baby,” you gently place your hand on his messy hair, cooing and running your fingers through his delicate strands when he leans into your touch.

“Come on, let’s go change. You feel uncomfortable, don’t you?” You beckon him softly, picking his face up and swiping a thumb over his wet cheek. He gives you a tight nod, squeezing the last few tears out before standing up, enveloping your hand around his. This is what he came home for. Your comfort and reassurance.

Even if the sun has already risen at the end of a tiring day

Now that I close my eyes

Just when you unbutton the last button of his jacket and throw it somewhere behind you, Jaemin can’t help but lean down to place his lips softly onto yours with care. His lips are salty from his tears, but you really don’t mind when his kisses are so soft, unlike all the other teasing and a bit rough ones he gives in the day. You pull away slowly, grinning up at him. He finally feels what he’s been longing the whole day, relaxation and tranquility. It feels so perfect and so… you.

Within 5 minutes, all uncomfortable work clothes are long forgotten, only soft big tees that envelop you and lul you slowly to sleep. That’s what you plan to do, right after Jaemin’s done in the bathroom and is next to you.

By the time your eyes are drooping close, the bathroom door is open, and you spot Jaemin shaking his hands dry and wiping them on his shirt. He instantly climbs in next to you, rushing into burying his face into your neck snugly.

On my day when I close the door later than others

Playfully tickling the earlobe

Even if we've been in a different world all day

Because we are always together at the end of the day

“Hard day?” You mumble into his forehead, chuckling lightly when he nods his head aggressively. “Do you want to talk about it?” Jaemin sighs, “Not really. It’s just the usual, given more work than the others. It’s just frustrating me,” You let out a thoughtful hum, nodding and threading your fingers into his messy hair, “So it all finally got to you?” He nods once again, this time a bit softer as he pulls you closer to his body.

“That’s good to hear, that you didn’t suppress your feelings, I mean. It’s been so long since you’ve actually relaxed.” Jaemin grins, you can read him so well, it’s amazing how you can determine how he’s feeling just by how he eats his breakfast or how affectionate he’s been.

Your little shoulders, your two little hands

At the end of my tiring day, it becomes a cozy blanket

Good job, you worked really hard

It makes him guilty, how you know every single part of him, and yet he doesn’t even try to know your small habits and actions you do. But then, he knows about your slow steps in the evening when you come back home, and the way your frown turns up quickly, almost too quickly, too fake. ‘Oh my god, you haven’t been good either,’ he thinks, as he squeezes you to him, as if trying to get rid of all the guilt he felt.

“Have you been okay?”

You are alarmed at the sudden question, tilting your head down to give him a confused look, “What?” Jaemin places his hand on your face, this time it’s him who’s stroking your tear away. You didn’t even realize you were crying until you felt the moisture spreading on your cheek.

“You’re not having such a good day either, huh?” Quickly, you try to scoot away from your boyfriend and wipe harshly at your tears, but the second you wipe one aggressively, Jaemin stops you, instead sitting up and wiping them himself, “You’re suppressing it too much.”

A scoff falls from your lips, before you playfully shove him away, “Don’t copy me!” There is a moment of laughter, before the atmosphere falls quiet. Not even a few seconds later, Jaemin is scooping you up to his side, enveloping you into his chest, “I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.” Instead of replying, you soften to his embrace, letting the last few tears finally release.

To you, my two hands with my blunt shoulders

I hope it will be a warm comfort at the end of your tiring day

I want to breathe with you naturally

Now you feel it, what Jaemin was yearning for when he came home, serene and pure ease. One of Jaemin’s hands tangles into your hair, fingers prodding soothingly on your scalp, his other hand venturing underneath your shirt to caress your bare skin with care. He was wrong. He did know every part of you, he knew perfectly what you wanted and when to give it. You inch closer to Jaemin, craving more of his warmth and touch.

He only coos at your eagerness, happily letting you cling onto him and bury your form into his hold. He places a tender kiss on your forehead, as if a silent reminder that he loves you. You shift in his hold, “Thank you,” your whisper felt soft, almost soothing against Jaemin’s skin, and he continues pressing quick, loving pecks all over your face, just as much until you giggle out at the lingering sensation when he finally stops.

You finally have the strength to look back up into Jaemin’s eyes, and you find nothing but clarified love and affection, no doubt you have those as well in your own.

Like the water in the bathtub that tightly embraces you

Warmly and completely

At the end of my embarrassing day full of clumsy mistakes

Are you waiting for me to be proud of you

The ambiance is everything soft, it feels comforting and like home, it feels like Christmas night, the ones where you just finally calm down from the buzzing day from before. For a second there, you almost forget about the hectic day you had previously, but honestly, all you want to do is thank it, without it you wouldn’t be here, you would most likely be still working.

Work is a bitch, you conclude, because even when you’re done with it for the day and want to take a break from it, you can’t, you can’t help but worry and think about the next time you encounter it, you want to finish it, but where is the end of it? Work will always be there to bring you back to the reality that you can’t slack off, you’ll get off track.

Now your thoughts were just getting out of hand, and you really hate work now.

“Baby, you’re overthinking, I can tell.” you shake your head, getting rid of the thoughts, “Sorry,” Jaemin chuckles lightly, caressing your cheek dearly, “No, I kind of am too.”

The conversation ends there, it’s like you don’t want to ruin the peaceful little aura you’ve created, opting to keep it as long as you can. Jaemin decides to revive the conversation, sliding down to relax and lay down on the bed, bringing you with him, “Tell me,” His eyes catch yours, almost pleading you to tell him, “Tell me what you were thinking about,”

“Well,” You start, “Work is just so inevitable, and honestly? It’s full of shit.” Jaemin chortles slightly at your choice of words, “Tell me about it.” You give him a mischievous look, “Like, no matter how much you hate it and don’t want it, you’re still gonna have to do it anyway, you basically can’t live without work.”

The small sigh doesn’t go unnoticed by Jaemin, as he pats your back comfortingly. “And whenever you want to just get over with it, you can’t. It’s still gonna be there again the next day or two. I don’t like it at all. Not one bit.”

Your boyfriend almost agrees, but stops. He should encourage you instead, he thinks.

“But hey, a the end if you work hard there will be a present waiting at home for you.” You roll your eyes, thinking it one of his corny jokes, but he continues, “At least that’s what I tell myself to get throughout the day, I get to see you again, that’s practically magical. Coming back home and tumbling into your hugs and kisses are literally soo perfect, it’s surreal, almost.”

Your little shoulders, your two little hands

At the end of my tiring day, it becomes a cozy blanket

Good job, you worked really hard

A big smile spreads across your lips, and you turn your head to look at Jaemin. He smiles at you, affirming his words, softly running his hands through your hair, “I know it’s really cheesy, but it works for me.”

Your perspective might change completely because of that, imagine just a hard ass day of work kicking your ass, tiring, and most likely emotional and full of breakdowns, and in return for dealing with all the shit, you get to relax and spend some time with Jaemin without any work interrupting you two, you might just want that every day.

You give him a bigger, more satisfied smile, “Okay, I’ll do that.”

To you, my two hands with my blunt shoulders

I hope it will be a warm comfort at the end of your tiring day

I want to breathe with you naturally

Jaemin is another breed, because who on earth would come up with that idea? Na Jaemin did. While others, and most likely you, think of all the bad things that happened throughout the day, Jaemin thought of the future, what’s happened has happened, if it was shit then so be it. But time with you could never be shit for him, he can’t find a single bit of it boring.

Despite being with him for so long, you can’t help but always be so mesmerized by him, he’s absolutely fascinating. The way he sees life is honestly on another level, a level that you want to reach and a level he will happily help you reach.

From now on, you decide, you will find the goods at the end of the day, you will work hard, maybe even extra hard, just to be happy at the end of the day when you meet Jaemin once again.

I can't cry as much as I want and I can't laugh as much as I want

At the end of a tiring day, if it’s next to you

You scream like a child and laugh like you pass your breath

I meet myself, who has become awkward too

So when the next day arrives, you work super duper hard, staying an extra hour to help Mark with his own work he struggles with (he’s not that good with technology) and even doing extra small tasks your coworkers ask you to do, which they found funny because usually, you reply with an excuse or simply turning it down, this was definitely a good thing.

And when you go back home, this time you’re about 3 times more exhausted, and 10 times more excited to finally meet Jaemin after a long day.

You bust the door open harshly, throwing your shoes messily at the shoe rack with a bright smile on your face.

“I’m home!”

Jaemin’s soft mop of hair peeks out from the kitchen, “Oh? Baby? How was-”

Suddenly, the air in his lungs gets knocked out from force, the force of you rushing into his arms. You feel it. The happiness. Jaemin was right, this feels victorious. You feel like you’ve won in life, you feel so accomplished.

Jaemin sighs, wrapping his arms around you and leaning his forehead on the top of your head, “I’m so proud of you.”

Good job, you worked really ahrd

You are my pride

#na jaemin x reader #na jaemin #na jaemin imagines #na jaemin fluff #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct x reader #nct 127 #nct 127 imagines #nct u imagines #nct u #nct u x reader #nct u fluff #nct dream fluff #neoturtles

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geo-winchester · 2 years

Note

Hi luv it’s me agaaain, oh my god I’m soo exited w your respond at my request, I find writing difficult to me so I read and if there was any chance to make part 2, where they reveal their relationship and then the pregnancy to the avengers (especially her father, yea he’s gon be a 🤏mad, but he’ll get over it) And with number 16 on ur prompt list with fluff,

And I wanna say thank you and that I’m proud of you, since no one have ever said that to me so I know that people need that🙂

Send love🤍

THE RING

Prompt: 16. “what are you doing?” Takes a picture “Changing my lock screen”

A/N: hi love, I’m so glad you like the other request, again I’m sorry this took me a while and that maybe it’s a little short but I change of area in the hospital and it’s a little harder than the old area so when I’m done for the day I’m really tired, but I hope that you like this one and thank you for your love and support I hope you have a wonderful day!! Lots of love💙💙

HIM

———————

-Yn…- your father stood in the door, still in shock at what he was seeing, you jump from Bucky’s Bed, both of you look at Steve surprise and feeling guilty about it.

-Dad it’s not what it’s look like…

-Really cause it seems that my best friend was kissing my daughter- he said angrier.

-Ok, it is and I know that this seems bad but… I love him- you told him.

-Steve- Bucky said -I know this isn’t what you want to but I promise you that all my intentions with her are good, I love her and I’m going to take care of them- Steve look at him confuse.

-Them?- he said confuse -are you pregnant?- he finally asked you, when you nod, he didn’t said anything he only leaves the room.

-Well I think this could have been better- you said sitting again on the bed, he took your hand.

-Don’t worry- he smiled trying to comfort you -He’ll get over it

-What if he doesn’t, I probably screw up everything between you two and I finally have a father, I don’t want to loose it because I date his best friend.

-Hey- he make you look at him -you won’t lose him, he eventually calm down- he clean the tear on your eye -and for me, you don’t have to worry about me, because I’m not going anywhere, you’ll have to deal with me for the rest of your life.

-Promise?- he nod before he kiss you.

You like to say that your father calm down sooner than you thought but it’s been weeks since the day he found out, the rest of the avengers act like they were surprise of the news but then you found out that they have a bet, most of them have the suspicious about you two, and they were happy they won. Bucky was happy that he can have you without any secret. You look at the mirror you notice how your belly was starting to show up, you smile then you saw Bucky in the door as he held your phone.

-What are you doing?- he took another picture of you smiling.

-I’m changing my Lock Screen- he said -now I can put something I really really like- you laugh he bring you to his arms.

-Your such a dork.

-But you like it.

-Yes I do- you said.

Both of you were interrupted by Steve, he was standing on the door, he was looking at the both of you, Buck kiss your temple before he left giving you space. Steve sit beside you on the bed, they didn’t say anything for a moment, he was trying to find the correct words.

-Yn, I’m sorry- he said, you look at him -I know I should be doing this weeks ago but… your my kid, I don’t want that anything bad happen to you, I trust Bucky but I don’t want you to got hurt.

-I won’t- you said.

-I know- he said -it’s just that I panic.

-Why?

-I just got you, I never new what I miss until you get in to my life and I freak out because I was afraid to lose you.

-Dad- you said -You won’t lose me- you chuckle -I was afraid you’ll hate me.

-I could never hate you darling- he said as he hug you and kiss you -Im happy for you honey, and I’m excited to meet my grandkid- he giggles -God that feels weird- you laugh- I know that Bucky is outside waiting so I’m going to leave you alone.

-Dad…- he turns to you -I have an appointment tomorrow and Bucky have to deal with something, would you like to meet your grandkid?- you could see the excitement in his eyes.

-I love to.

When he leave Bucky get inside the room and lay next to you and put an arm around you and place his hand on your belly, he took the book next to the nightstand.

-So it’s time for your kid’s story time- he nod, he love to read to the baby.

-So, everything with Steve is good?

-Yes- you said -He’s going to go with me to the doctor’s appointment.

-I’m really happy he’s going- he said -before we do anything else, I need to ask you something- you look at him -Do you like my eyes- he said making you laugh, you took the book from his hands and read the tittle.

-I think I haven’t read this- you open it and a ring fall from it, you look at it before you look at Bucky -What?…

-This ring belong to my mother, I gave it to Steve when I went to the war, he keep it for me for all this time- he said -I know I should do this before but I want to spend the rest of my life with you…

-Bucky…

-Would you marry me?- you nod.

-Yes, of course I will marry you- you said before you kiss him -wait… you say that my father have it…

-Sorry but I’m an old school, I need to ask for his blessing- he said with a smile.

-I really love you.

-I’m glad you tell me, I have some doubts- he jokes making you laugh -I love you too, doll.

#bucky barns x reader #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female oc

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almostthere888 · 3 years

Text

Very motivational long text cause I’m tired of not being enought and I’m tired of the voices inside my head

This morning I woke up and I was 56,7 kilos… I’m 163cm. I’m 22. I study business in London and I’m tired. I’m tired of not being enough. I’m tired of people unfollowing me on Instagram when I’m not showing some expensive restaurant or my full face of makeup. I’m tired of not being enough being who I am… I decided to stop using Instagram till 1 of December. My goal is to transform my entire out and inner image. I wanna be 47 kilos December 11 (my biggest enemy’s birthday). December 11 I will go back to Instagram and I will post every pic and video of me crying in pain from being alone and fat and ugly. I will post not just transformation pics but also videos and I will most definitely show the scale pointing at 47 kilos. That will shock soo manny people and sure all those popular bishes from high school that trash talk about me and made me feel soo unwanted will be soo jealous. I will also post about my grades. I will post about how I’m balling on money from stocks and investments. December 13 (2 days after) I will unfollow 300 people from my Instagram. I will become cold. I will become that girl that is soo intimidating but soo kind and smart. I will dead ass get my revenge!!! I will dedicate my whole soul (what’s left of it) into this 2.5 months! Starting this exact moment. 13 October 1:07 am. I ain’t playing any more games. I ain’t being the nice girl that will do anything to have friends. I promise. People will talk and even tho they hate me for whatever reason they will be deathly jealous. I’m tired. Im not a bad person. I put more effort into people than I put into myself. I could give the last 10 bucks to someone that needs them as much as me cause I hate to see people suffer. But by being a soft heart I killed myself instead. I started to believe others perceptions of me… ohhh she is full or herself or ohh she is dumb or she is soo annoying. I’m not!!! Why did I let people’s opinions get to me.?! Why am I weak? I need thought love. I need to cry and scream every single last drop of pain I have on my body within this next 2.5 months!!! I can’t continue living like this. This is my rock bottom. This is the lowest of the lows. This is the higher level of disgust I have ever felt about myself. And it’s not even just about my looks… my inside is crying and it’s hurt. My heart aches everytime I’m alone with my feelings. I just want people to see who I truly am and that I’m such a lovable human. I have soo manny flaws but i promise I’m not as bad as everyone paints me to be. I need this massive change. I need to reach my potential and for the first time in my life accomplish something and be proud of myself. It’s going to be soo thought mentally bro. It’s gonna be soo painful and I already know I will cry everyday. I will cry in the gym even! But I have to do this. This is my last chance in life. This is the turning point. It’s only 2,5 months and I will have that sweet moment of revenge. Of the shock in everyone’s faces when I accomplish something every woman wants: the perfect body the perfect grades the perfect hustle and show them that I’m more than their horrible perceptions of me. Im tired of not being enough… when will I be?… I just want them to love me the way I love everyone cause for me everyone is soo special and beautiful and I see a friend in everyone… I’m in soo much disgust with myself… I wanna love myself. I wanna be a bad bish ya know… I wanna be happy. But before all that. I want my sweet revenge. I need it. I deserve it. Wish me luck.

#thinspo #proana #depression #anxiety #suicidal #fat #loser #sad

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dreamii-yume · 3 years

Note

Hi Yume! I wanted to tell you that I love all your writings and that you are a truly fantastic writer! Sorry if I seem indiscreet, but I'm curious to know what pushed you and / or pushes you to write your sinfics. Don't feel pressured to answer at all, everyone has their own reasons and everyone has the right to write what he/she/they wants. Sorry for the inconvenience and be safe and remember to drink enough water!💕 (In addition English is not my first language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes) Hope you have a good day! 😘✨

Hello~! ♥︎

Don’t worry, Darling (〃ω〃) I don’t feel pressured at all, I’m actually pleasantly surprised that you asked this question! You’re going right into Yume’s origin story now lol (๑･̑◡･̑๑)

I started writing fanfics myself when my taste was getting a little too…specific.

I think I mentioned once here that I get easily bored this is such a mean word, I’m sorry of anything I was once interested in if they’re not constantly doing things to keep me entertained lol So, I used to read A LOT of fluffy fanfictions, once that makes you rot and squeal— no smut, just very ｐｕｒｅ vibes (U w U) You know, like the typical teenager that I was lol I couldn’t even read any smut at that point because I view them like the ✨spawn of the devil✨ and it ✨ｃｏｒｒｕｐｔｓ✨ the characters I loved or something 👁👄👁 and also probably because I was a minor But oh how things have changed…Yes, I was that pure kid in school who didn’t know JACKSHIT about anything sexual \(//∇//)\ Bruh I remember covering my eyes every time I see a pp in my science textbook lol ☠️

…To tell you the truth, Yume once wrote a now completed fluffy fanfiction of a certain show and posted it on Wattpad _:(´ཀ`」 ∠): Yeaahh, I’m not gonna elaborate more on that but the fic is still there with a million views holy shit and it’s still haunting me every night that it still exists.

But then, I started getting bored of fluff because— it’s just the same trope over and over again and yeah, yeah… (c" ತ,_ತ) So, I decided to expand my taste a bit more and boom, look what I found— The ✨ｙａｎｄｅｒｅ✨ trope 👁👄👁 Ever since then, I became OBSESSED with these kinds of fic because with these kinds of fics— It doesn’t really…give a shit about what is wrong or what is right so, you can literally write anything you want with it (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡ It’s the kind of love that ｐｅｒｓｉｓｔｓand I love it because you don’t know where a yandere fic can go most of the time, you know? That keeps me hooked and wanting for more! ♥︎

And finally, when I turned legal— HAHAHA, We all know where this went lol ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I started reading ｓｍｕｔbut not just any kinds of smut, no no…ｙａｎｄｅｒｅ　ｓｍｕｔ(O w O) And that was a start of a beautiful friendship— ♥︎

So, I started wanting more, yeah? I discovered new kinks and realized I…liked the most fucked up ones?? Lol Even I don’t know exactly why I like Non-con so much— When I see a fic that doesn’t have any non-con in it, or anything fucked in general because im hornii I get less motivated to read it lol Maybe because I was so sick and tired of seeing two characters falling in love that seeing only ONE character fall into an unrequited love is so fucking spicy and a lot more interesting to me— like, where is it gonna go (O w O) I’m interested!

Bonus points if their love never gets returned through out the story and they become even more obsessed with their Darling until they decide to just…snap and neglect fuck everything else— HAVING DARLING IS A MUST （╹◡╹）

So, yeah— I basically read almost all Yandere Non-Con fics in existance at this point (°▽°) But it just wasn’t enough to quench the ｔｈｉｒｓｔ in me and I was honestly disappointed because there was always this one fic idea in the back of my head with very specific ｙｉｋｅｙ tags that I wanted someone to execute but never found one in my time of reading fanfictions （；＿；）So I just kinda…started writing them on my own lol the ultimate fine ill do it myself moment lmao At first, it was just for self-indulgence and never to be revealed in public because the content is so yikes, yknow? I have that fear of getting judged like— Why would anyone like these kinds of fics…lol

And then, the pandemic came and I was bored as hell— I discovered tumblr and decided to just fuck it, what’s the worse that can happen lol Thus, Yume was born and I was soo happy to see Darlings saying that they like my fics! (๑>◡<๑) And I finally felt liberated like, holy hell— I wasn’t alone with these kinds of kinks lol I started to not give a damn anymore and write whatever the hell I want, pushing my dark fantasies into each coming fics that I actually started calling them…Sinfics lol im a sinner and im proud

And I think that’s what pushes me to write more lol I absolutely LOVE talking with other Darlings who shares common interests with me!

Sorry for the long post, by the way~! But at least, you now know just a little bit more about Yume, yeah~? ٩( ᐛ )و Love you all, as always ♥︎

#Talk with Yume

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kimnjss · 4 years

Text

fallingforyou!namjoon | a-z

⤑ series: falling for you

⤑ genre: smut, student!namjoon x student!reader, college au.

⤑ rating: explicit.

⤑ warnings: smut talk... (mentions of) oral sex (f/m. receiving), penetrative sex, cumplay, masturbation...

⤑ A/N: lowkey didn’t realize how long its been since i first posted this... kinda sad :( my first sm au , im soo proud of it omg.

A = Aftercare (what's he like after sex):

Joon is very gentle and sweet with you, so this translates into the aftercare. He's always making sure that you're okay and that he didn't go too rough; would even offer you water or something to eat if you looked especially worn out.

B = Body Part (his favorite body part of his and also yours):

All of you is his favorite, but if he had to choose... Namjoon would be picking your legs as his favorite body part. They were so long and always so soft, not to mention flexible. His favorite body part of his would be his hands, because you liked how big they were always requesting spanks from them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum basically...):

There had been a time where you were on your knees for him, putting in your best work and completely blowing his mind... he hadn't had the chance to warn you and before he could he was spilling into your mouth / catching the both of you off guard. Your cheeks puffing as his cum filled your mouth... might be his favorite sight.

D = Dirty Secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of his):

No matter how many times he's rolled his eyes at the request, he really likes it when you take control. Even if it's just something as simple as riding him. Likes seeing how you lose yourself in it.

E = Experience (how experienced is he? does he know what he's doing?):

Right about in the middle. Didn't have loads of meaningless sex under his belt, but he knew what he was doing. A tad bit more experienced than you, but the two of you still managed to find new experiences to share and discover together.

F = Favorite Position (this goes without saying...):

Cowgirl, rather than reverse cowgirl. He liked when you were on top, but more so when you were facing him so he could see everything. From the way your face twists in pleasure to the way your tits bounced... plus that way his hands could get busy too.

G = Goofy (is he more serious in the moment, or is he humorous, etc.):

He wasn't serious to the point where the sex was boring or there was no adventure, he was just more careful than anything. Wanted to make sure that he was never hurting you and you were always enjoying himself, plus he didn't want to risk things growing awkward... so leaving the jokes out of the bedroom was his best bet.

H = Hair (how well-groomed is he, does the carpet match the drapes? how does he like you?):

Neatly shaven, just a thin layer of hair covering his pelvic bone. He figured you'd like it better that way, although he never could bring himself to ask... he liked you however you wanted to be, didn't really have a preference as long as it was you. You liked to keep yourself clean shaven and it made things easier when going down on you, so it was a win-win.

I = Intimacy (how is he in the moment, romantic aspect...):

Very, very romantic. A lot of hand holding and eye contact. But sometimes it would get a bit too intense so he'd be looking away with a dimpled smile. Because he wasn't for goofing around in the bedroom, he made up for that with all the romance he could muster... has even surprised you with lit candles and flowers once or twice.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon):

Not really for it. Joon would rather be with you than himself... but if there was a reason why the two of you couldn't be together and he was exceptionally horny, he would just do it. But would be craving you right after, so it would be like a waste of time.

K = Kink (one ore more of his kinks):

Facials. Discovered the night he accidentally came in your mouth and couldn't stop thinking how you'd look with it all over your face. He was shocked when you agreed and was ready to try it on the spot. Now every blowjob ends with a sticky masterpiece on your cheeks.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do):

He liked to get into it and be as comfortable as possible when he was with you, so at home was his favorite place. Either his place or yours. Wasn't a huge fan of interruptions or limitations so who evers place had the less guests, he'd be willing to go there to get one off.

M = Motivation (what turns him on, gets him going):

You do. Seeing you dance, watching you enjoy yourself. Hearing your laugh. He wasn't busting boners each time you pulled a cute face, but he was always paying a lot of attention to you and had become so infatuated that you effected him in ways he couldn't explain. Also, the way you'd discreetly brush against him when you were feeling needy... that would no doubt have him standing at attention.

N = NO (something he wouldn't do, turn offs):

Handcuffs. Did not like them in the least bit. They hurt his wrists and did not like not being able to touch you freely. He would, though, try it if you really wanted... but would insist on putting them on you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.):

Receiving. He was not, by any means, against going down on you... but there was something different about seeing you with his cock down his throat. No matter what, though, Joon was always returning the favor; and because he liked the sound of your moans, he'd just listen to them as a hint of him doing well.

P = Pace (is he fast and rough? slow and sensual? Etc.):

Slow and sensual, but fast toward the end. Joon being romantic and soft with you, would definitely opt for the slow roll of the hips, allowing you to feel every inch of him with each thrust, but as he started to loose himself in it – his thrusts would become more sloppy and uncontrolled until it was just a mess of untimed jerks that had both of you moaning out in surprise.

Q = Quickie (his opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often... etc.):

Not a fan. Would only go for a quickie if it was absolutely necessary, if not he would just wait until you were able to do the whole thing correctly.

R = Risk (is he game to experiment, does he take risks):

Joon is down to try whatever you want to try, might roll his eyes or joke about your requests but would be open minded for the most part. It was more often than not that he was discovering things that he never thought he'd like. S = Stamina (how many rounds can he go for, how long does he last...):

He could do about two rounds with a rest in between. Since he likes to start with slow thrusts, he is actually able to last a lot longer... ranging from ten or so minutes in the first round. The second is usually shorter, but just as good. T = Toy (does he own toys? does he use them? on a partner or himself?):

Nope. But you do and he was surprised when he found out. Joon has never seen you use it... or even seen it for that matter, but he would not be against you whipping it out one night and acting as if you were the only one in the room.

U = Unfair (how much does he like to tease?):

He tries to tease quite a lot, but ends up giving up because he's also teasing himself. You tease him right back, which doesn't help his situation... like at all. Joon finds it really hard to say no to you, so if he starts to tease, it'll last a good few minutes before he's giving in. V = Volume (how loud is he, what sounds does he make?):

Not that aloud, grumbled grunts and groans in your ear that always has your toes curling. You're the one making the most noise, unless it's a blowjob that he's getting. In that case, it's constant praise and pleas for you to take him deeper, do it faster... harder, his hands automatically finding your hair as he watches you through gasps. W = Wild Card

Joon would spend every second of every day 69-ing with you if he had the chance.

X = X-Ray (let's see what's going on in those pants, pictures or words):

The man is big. Like h u g e ! Like, imprint in gray sweats while soft... huge.

Y = Yearning (how high is his sex drive?):

Very high. He's always wanting you even if he's just had you. Even if he's too tired. He'll figure out a way to go again if you're looking at him in a particular way saying that you wanted more.

Z = Zzz... (how quickly does he fall asleep afterwards?):

He's not falling asleep right after, but does need a moment to rest or catch his breath. If he was already tired before beginning, than he'd be knocking out literally seconds after he's cum, only to wake up thirty minutes later ready to cuddle and coo sweet things to each other.

#namjoon #namjoon smut #kim namjoon #namjoon x reader #bts x reader #falling for you sm au #bts #bts smut #namjoon sm au #namjoon a-z

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sporadic-writer · 4 years

Text

Welcome to the Neighborhood pt. 2

Note: ok so I know that not all of the boys, meaning both twins, live with the others. And I know my update schedule sucks but I go in a block and funk. Sorry guys. I just want you to read something I would read and truly enjoy. Also, I think I may make this a Haz fic bc ones about hin deserves more love and notes.

No one really reads these but I also think I'll write this for Harrison bc when Tom posted the pic of Nadia, it shattered the illusion in my head lol and it feels weird to a certain extent to write when he is most likely dating her. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for him and he doesn't know I exist, but it feels odd idk. So im pausing on Tom stuff atm lol. Harrison is single as far as publicly that ik so thats that 😅

Pairing: Harrison x Reader (most likely)

Warnings: mentions of weed, alcohol, and swearing. I enjoy all these things responsibly and ik im not the only one. As always stop reading if you dont like something.

Part 1 here initial teaser here (got around 100 notes soo 😎 check that out)

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“Alrighty boys. That’s enough about me, tell me about yourselves. I only know this one from the big screen and that 2 of you are brothers.” You gestured to Tom as you spoke about him. “And from basic eavesdropping I gather you are all very close.”

Tom smiled, “Actually I’m a brother to the twins, older obviously.” It was fun having a celeb lounging in your hot tub, drinking a beer with you. “But yeah I am an actor, Spider-Man as you probably know. Harrison’s an actor too!”

“Oh my god you are! I watched Catch-22 on Hulu! Comedy my ass..! I balled my eyes out several times.” He had the nerve to laugh in response. “Don’t laugh! That shit got intense quick. Then the shot where you all are swimming? Killed me. I don't know how I didn't notice you. Sorry!”

“Did you at least like it?” He smiled and asked hopefully. When you nodded yes he beamed! “Well then that’s all that matters. I will say an American accent is hard.”

You brought your beer up to your lips. “Yeah because your guys’ accent is so easy. You make fun of how different areas in America have different accents but it’s the same here!” They nodded in agreement at your words. You leaned your head back a tad and enjoyed the warm water. “Southern accents have different twangs bepending on the area, I have family that lives closer to New England, that's something all in its own. Just like here. You got London, Wales, some place called Essex and other places more north of here. It's not just the US." You reached over for your joint to finish it amongst the bubbles. "Now for real. Tell me about yourselves. Harrison you start I guess."

"Why me?"

"Shorter wikipedia page." You smirk as you re-lit your herb. The guys laughed and made 'ooh' noises to tease. "I'm kidding! Relax a touch. I just picked your name because you are right in front of me."

"Well I've known this lot since we were all kids. Tom and I went to school together and we have been stuck with each other since. I was his personal assistant for a while too." You listened as he spoke. Sweat was building up on his face from the hot tub. It added a nice shine to his, and everyone's faces. In order to avoid makeup running everywhere you sat up as you listened to him. You watched his eyes watch your movements as you took a hit and slowly exhaled. Almost like he was relaxing from watching someone relax from getting high without actually doing so. He kept going and you realized you zoned out a tad. "And then I wanted to do more than just model so I did more auditions and Catch-22 became my biggest so far."

You nodded, noting you heard and were listening. "That's cool and all but tell me like favorite song, movie, animal! Hahaha it isn't everyday famous people are in my hot tub. I'm going to savor this first encounter!" He smiled and answered your sort of questions. You offered the joint around before it finished. Tom passed, Tuwaine and Harrison took quick hits though. "But yeah that is me. Now someone else go so I don't have the spot light on me anymore." He looked at you as he said that and handed you the last bit. You winked in thanks, and to flirt lightly. (Shoot your shot right?) "Same questions to you love."

You responded your favorite song, movie, and color to him. "Yeah I like a bit of everything. But funny movies are my favorite. Obviously I like Marvel too Tom don't worry. Same goes for music but my preference ranges from new pop to older rock. I grew up on 80s alternative pop stuff." You smiled at him and he beamed in pride at the brand he represented. "Ok Sam you now."

Sam starts talking about his life and Harrison goes to grab more drinks. At this point the sun as almost finished setting and you tell the blonde how to turn the deck lights on. Soon the rows of edison bulbs flick on and a lovely mood is set. The glow isn't too bright and adds a nice light to your summer tanned skin. What you don't know is that the gentlemen appreciated the glow as well. However, they are too polite to say anything too bold after just meeting you.

If you could read minds or be sober enough to detect a certain lack of subtlety you would pick up on how the single men checked you out as you got out of the tub to get rid of the roach. Polite of course, 20 something men are going to appreciate a beautiful American girl right in front of them.

And if they could read your mind they would hear how you were taking in Tom and Harrison's jaw lines and toned muscles. How you appreciated Tuwaine's smile and height. Then add the twin's curls and freckles to the list and they'd think you were picking them like boys from a catalogue. Despite the slight oggling on your part, your eyes always wandered back to the blonde hair blue eyed boy the most. He seemed a little more laid back then Tom. Probably just because one was working more than the other, but that was just initial vibes you got. Regardless of vain appearance choices and vibe preference, all these boys were wonderful and you were just lucky enough your uncle's hot tub fit them all nicely.

Tuwaine smiled cheekily and spoke up. "Alright, we all have fresh drinks and proper buzzes. Let's make it fun and play a game. So Y/N, you went to college in the states, give us a classic drinking game and show us what you got."

"Ha! I don't know what you're looking for but I assume never have I ever is universal? You can't play kings or flip cup in a hit tub. Hold up 5 fingers, put them down if you've done said thing, drink as well."

"No fingers, just play till we are right pissed." Harry grinned and everyone else went along with it. "I will start. Never have I ever- wait this a normal game or sexy version?"

You said you didn't care and Tom said what the hell, so he continued. "Never have I ever gotten walked in on during a scandelous activity." Tom and Harrison both drank and groaned saying they have both walked in on each other at some point in life. Tuwaine continued.

"Never have I ever fooled around while someone else is in the room." There was a pause and no one drank. But then you rose your beer to your lips and they all looked at you in a manner of surprise and demand for explination.

Shrugging you said, "Old drunken hookup in school. We didn't know his roommate was in his top bunk asleep until it was too late. The mistake we made was keeping on going when we thought we heard him, because we did..."

"Wow Y/N. Learning a lot about the neighbor girl right away!"

"Shut up this game was your idea!" You laughed as you spoke in response to his teasing. "But whatever it's my turn now anyway. Never have I ever sent a dirty text to the wrong person." That got all but Harrison and you felt proud for getting them. "Alright so you are either morons or were in a rush to send that sext."

Tom defended himself saying her name was Sam and it was instant regret the second he realized.

Sam glared at him and said, "Yeah no one enjoyed that bro. I'm still shaken up about it."

"Get over yourself it was like 5 years ago! And you accidentally sent your friend Jake one, so pot, kettle, hi both black."

"It was detailed!"

You just sat there amused taking this all in. "I am so glad this happened tonight." You said more to yourself than them.

"Darling if this ends up in the tabloids we will never speak again." They were teasing with the threat. "But come on this is good let's keep going. Never have I ever done it in a car." You, Sam, and Tuwaine all drank and giggled.

The game continued on and another round of drinks were had. You learned Tuwaine had said the wrong name in bed. Also, that both Harry and Harrison have fooled around during family functions. In return they learned that you've hooked up in a college classroom and in a restaurant bathroom. That ended up getting you and your former boyfriend kicked out of the establishment. Towards the final round all were getting sleepier but still in a good mood.

"Never have I ever had sex high." Harrison challenged the group. No one drank. "Wait really? Thought I'd get you with that. Finish your beer and all." He looked at you as he spoke.

"Nope. Just never happened now that I've thought about it. Huh. You'd think right? But nope. Not that I'm opposed." You ended your statement by glancing his way while finishing your beer anyway. Harrison just watched the way your neck moved as you tilted your head back. "Ok boys this was fun but I am gettin tired."

Tom nodded. "Same here. Thank you for having us darling, it was fun!" The others spoke in agreement and you smiled at them saying they were welcomed back anytime. They offered to help clean but you grabbed the remaining bottles and told them you were good. After final goodbyes, you told them to not he strangers, you were all in your respective homes.

You went to bed pretty quick. Next door, at their place Tom, Harrison, and Sam lingered to get some water before bed. "She was really cool." Sam said while sipping water.

Harrison hummed in agreement. "Yeah I think so too. Very chill and all that."

Sam smirked and playfully said, "You just think she's fit mate." There was a pause.

"Well she is." It was Tom who said that and the others looked at him in playful shock. "What I'm not blind! She is! She's isn't some shy girl freaking out over us. She's cheeky and just seems normal about us living next to her. More Harrison's type though I'd say."

Sam laughed. "Yeah he always liked the classic American 'girl next door' type. Just a bonus she is actually American this time." They paused for Harrison to negate their statements but he just sipped his water and looked at them with a glint in his eyes. "Told you." Sam said as he took a sip. "She is better than half the models either of you bring back. Nuerons fire and she can keep a conversation. Not that all models are like that! But come on you went out with some stereotypes." Neither could disagree. Sometimes you just want to have a date with the beautiful face. Long term needs substance though, and both Tom and Harrison thought you had it all.

"We need to invite her over tomorrow, and any time she's free." Groundwork was to be established and Harrison was determined to get to know you more.

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As always, like and reblog! I hope you like it! Also if i forget to tag someone lmk, same if you wanna be tagged or not tagged. Feedback and notes are appreciated but be nice haha I edit as best I can. Thanks for reading and enjoying.

Tags: @jillanaholland @averyfosterthoughts @sarah-m-limelight-2007 @astridcommings

#fanfic #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #harrison osterfield fanfiction #harrison osterfield x reader #tom holland #fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfiction #harrison osterfield fluff #harrison osterfield

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nctrenjunie · 5 years

Text

Late coffe~ Jaemin x Reader

Author: Sera

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Jaemin x Reader

Comment: Soo its been a while since I wrote only fluff that why I´m not sure if this worked out but yeah( I´m kinda proud that I´m posting it this week like I promised) Its also 5am and Im fucking tired. can you believe I had school from 8am until 5pm today!!

REQUEST:

You already knew it the moment you woke up, this day would be shitty.

A loud groan left your mouth as your alarm woke you up at exactly 6 am, making you turn in your bed, still half asleep. Tossing away the unnecessary bed sheets that made you sweat in the night you laid there, waiting for the fresh air to enter you room through the window you just opened. If you could you would probably stay there, on your bed, with closed eyes as you listen to the faint morning traffic, trying to figure out how many cars might be standing at the red light in front of your apartment right now.

Sadly, you already made your way to the bathroom, letting the hot water run down your body leaving a burning sensation on your skin. Leaving the shower quickly because of the little time you had you made your way to your mirror, staring at your blank cold facial expression.

Fuck yes, you looked badass, even hot most of the people would say whilst staring at your face…even tho for you, right now, you just stared back at your bored and tired reflection that people at your company would still be able to sell of with a mysterious unfaced image.

It’s not that you hate it. More likely the contrary. Having this no emotion image brought you pretty up in the industry, it brought you money and its fun, besides the exhausting schedule without break but sometimes…sometimes the facade you sell to be you or more likely you would like to believe you are, crumbles. The independent savage woman that is so unreachable just vanishes away and the insecure little girl just stands there alone, trying to stay on the boat whilst the big waves try to drown her down.

And this was one of these days. These kind of days were you don’t notice the little kids walking happily down the clean streets with their parents or the little love story that starts between two high schoolers in the convenience store you fastly grab a coffee to go but mostly you only notice the cloudy and pale streets scattered with busy people making their way through the big crowds, minding their own little business whilst you make your way disguised through the people. These days the only thing that seems to light up the streets are the big billboards on the skyscrapers, showing off big colorful ads that cost tons of wasted money since nobody really cares in the end, too stuck in their own lifes and careless minds.

Entering the company with a stern face you get greeted with kind gazes. You notice the fake ones as you try to supress the little insecure girl to come out and shed a tear. Instead, you grin back at everyone, adding a cheeky grin to the fake people. Kind of fascinating how such a little gesture can be so exhausting that it could bring you to cry.

You listen attentively to your managers words, trying not to fall asleep since the caffeine hasn’t hit until now. I should probably get another one. You listen calmly, feeling your pulse suddenly speedup as you listen to the busy schedule for today day, thinking of all the social contact you have to go through today. Feeling your breath vanishing you fastly get out of the room, running up the stairs to the rooftop.

You take a deep breath, trying to stop the anxiousness of your panic attack to take the better part of you. Putting your hand on your chest you grab tight onto your shirt as you try to calm down the stinging fast heart pulse thats feeling like it’s racing through your body right now. Everything is spinning around your head, making you feel like you lost control.

“Hey, are you okey?”

It stops. You feel the air back in your lungs as your heart stops for a moment before continuing to beat at a normal pulse. You gulp, trying to contain your tears and bring back the cold facade. Looking at the direction of the voice you are greeted with the golden boys soft brown eyes. Jaemin.

You stare at him perplexed, already knowing him since both of you are in the same company but still panicking in your mind since you obviously didn’t forget the “small” crush you have on him. He stares back at you, wrinkling his forehead as he notices your watery eyes and confused face that still shines out a little spark of sadness. Without saying anything he makes his way over to you, letting his coffee stand on one of the banks.

You stay still, letting him trace his hand slowly over your cheek as you observe his light pink lips. You could probably fall into his big arms right now, crying out your exhaustion as you inhaled his flowery perfume but before you know it yourself your body pulls itself out of your trance, stepping away from him as he was about to pull you against his chest. Jaemin starts to speak, looking at you as you recover your facial expression while leaving out coughs.

“ Y/N, you don’t look so good. Why don’t you sit down and talk to me? We could drink a coffee and I could…”

Looking up into your face he stopped for a second, leaving out a sigh as you tried to keep up your best uninterested gaze. You were about to answer with a simple everything’s fine and a small farewell but before you could leave out a word he cut you off.

“Stop excusing yourself also your faces don’t work on me. Everyone’s exhausted sometimes. I know you still have 20 minutes until your next schedule starts. Just talk to me.”

You looked at him, considering his words as you thought about pouring out your heart to him but before you could say anything that would satisfy his question your mouth already whispered a little I can’t, before making your way down.

You tried to stay focused and forget the incident in the morning with Jaemin as you continued your daily schedule. It depressed you even more that you couldn’t even be happy that there was only one interview left since it was already 8pm. Judging from the questions you read beforehand you already knew this interviewer would be though one, trying to get you into some kind of scandal. Still, you looked sternly and calm into the mirror in front of you, letting the makeup artist do her work. Starting the interview you kept your stern gaze, noticing how the reporter tried to pull you out of your comfort zone but you know you are untouchable. You started to get tired as he tried to drag it out, begging for an extra question that your manager allowed as well as you since both of you were getting tired of him.

“You know Y/N, a lot of people think you are full of yourself. Just like a narcissist. What do you think about these kind of thoughts?”

Narcissist?

Thinking about it it fascinated you again. How one world could make you doubt all your confidence again. How one world could make you stop breathing, bringing your heart to beat fast against your chest, making you feel anxious again as the waves threw you down from the boat, leaving you incapable to grab onto something as you slowly drowned.

“Sorry but I don’t think that word fits me.”

Teardrops started to run down your face as your manager fastly escorted him out. You forgot about your racing heart and the lack of air you got as you were busy minding your thoughts, forgetting the rest.

Y/N would never say something like that. Y/N would never cry. Y/N would probably laugh at this comment. Y/N would never hesitate to say her opinion.

Hoping to find what you needed you ran up the stairs, back to the rooftop whilst trying to control the panic attack. Opening the big metal doors you feel cold wind against your warm face. It cools down, especially the wet skin. Now you really noticed it.

Am I crying?

Looking to your right there he sat. It wasn’t that dark, maybe ten minutes after the sun went down. You could still see his facial features, shadowed from the slow night that started. Making your way to him you stood in front of him, blocking his view of the city with your body. You breathed hard even tho your pulse calmed down and the painful sting in your heart vanished.

Jaemin looked up, hoping the whole day that you might come up again to fall into his arms so he could feel your warmth and cheer you up. Standing up Jaemin put his coffee down before opening his arms for you. Feeling your head fall down against his hard chest he felt alight, knowing you are save after embracing you and pulling you closer with his big arms. You stayed like this for some time until Jaemin spoke up.

“You know I like you better if you share your pain with me so I can cheer you up. Just because you’re playing someone to satisfy people doesn’t mean the real you doesn’t exist. So don’t let it die but instead pour it out in all the ways possible. People might not see the real you because they are blinded by their clouded minds and unfulfilled busy lifes. But I can see you and you will see you too.”

Looking up into his mesmerizing eyes Jaemin traces both of his thumbs over your skin, wiping of your dried tears before leaving a small kiss on your forehead. Hugging you tightly you hug him back, staying like this. No words are exchanged as the hug speaks for itself until you feel your sleepines roll back.

“So can I get a coffee too?”

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aw-tryagain · 5 years

Text

Wow

People really don’t like hearing the truth about what they do and it shows. How can y’all misinterpret what I was saying THAT badly??

Like this was just my final straw I am done with the fandom. Y’all are all so damn ignorant and petty. Y’all will literally hate on someone for doing what you do! How does that make sense?! I’m just tired of y’all and have been for such a long time now and have been less and less involved in this fandom as time went on because I too began to notice things about how yall act and treat each other and yes y’all really are all so fake and after this whole shit show I just can’t do it anymore. Lol like I knew twilight was shitty but there were still a lot of things I loved about the series and I saw so much potential in it and I recognized the shitty parts and also tried to change them to make it better and that’s what a lot of people or pretty much everyone does in this fandom, but y’all just don’t recognize the shitty parts. Y’all try to excuse it. Especially when it comes to the main characters. Y’all will literally jump through hoops to excuse or just flat out ignore Alices racism and how she treats Bella. Y’all will excuse/flat out ignore Edwards fucked up abusive actions towards Bella yet will turn around and vilify Jacob for kissing her without her permission and guilt tripping/manipulating her too. Yall vehemently hate the shit out of Jacob (and are sometimes really racist about it) and will make posts/headcnons/au’s of the cullens beating him up a native brown boy for basically doing to Bella what they literally do to her through the entire series, take away her bodily autonomy and choices and manipulate her. Yall make posts about old white racist people literally beating up a 16 year old Native American boy and jack off to that shit and be racist all while y’alls precious whites can do anything they want to Bella because nothing the Cullens ever do is wrong. Y’all are literally playing right into the hands of that racist author SM and what she wanted and what she pushed so hard in the series you’d have to be blind not to see.. and you don’t see it.

Y’all still perpetuate the bs Meyer pushed and are all so ignorant because Jacob wasn’t like that at first and was never supposed to be like that. Meyer ruins every character she touches ESPECIALLY when it comes to poc but instead of looking at that y’all would rather act like assholes and treat people who like these characters and want to remake them in their own image like shit. Yet you all want people to stop calling you racist for loving and excusing Jaspers time in the confederacy and let you all redeem him and his actions. There was a whole fandom fight about this exact thing when someone called out the racist shit these people were doing regarding Jacob and the Cullens and guess what y’all did? Y’all tried to not only defend what y’all were doing but also tried to defend the fact that Jasper was a literal confederate soldier. Like, Jasper was one of my favorite characters but that doesn’t excuse what he was. You people are the most hypocritical people I’ve ever met. Y’all can make excuses for Jasper being a confederate and say “oh well he learned from that! He’s not a racist!” and y’all can make headcanons trying to redeem him but don’t seem to wanna redeem him from the problematic things he does in the series to this day which y’all seem to always leave out and forget. Y’all can say “oh Meyers and idiot! She didn’t know what she was doing! Jasper should have been a union soldier!” and all types of shit but nobody can do the same for Jacob who was actually fucked over by Meyer and made to do problematic things not only because he was the rival but also because Meyer loves making poc the villains all the time? How can y’all not see that?

Y’all make excuses up the wall for the precious Cullens fucked up actions and will gladly blame the author and not the character for it and will attack anyone who thinks otherwise but when it comes to anyone else? especially poc? It’s time to hate them and treat them and anyone who likes them and tries to actually redeem them from their racist biased author, like shit. It’s funny how we’re supposed to love the confederate soldier who willingly fought for slavery and quickly rose through the ranks in the army and seems proud of that fact when recalling it in Eclipse and he’s just so smart and practical and calculative and is such a great leader and thinks things through and is able to convince others easily and get them to follow him because he’s so charming but we’re also supposed to feel bad for him and hate the Mexican woman who “manipulated” him and lied to him and of course she’s painted as some kind of evil seductress who manipulates the poor defenseless mindless white man that we all must coddle. I italicized those words bc that is supposed to be his characterization. People who are calculative and smart and good leaders aren’t so easily manipulated and aren’t so easily trusting, and don’t fall for one obvious lie for 100 years! Idc what anyone says nobody can keep up a simple ass lie for that long especially when with just a little more thought put into it, the lie can be debunked so easily bc the truth is right there. Also in the end he had the power. He could do what he wanted with his own body and he chose to do what he did. We’re not gonna blame the woman for the actions of the man. Yes she had a part in it and influencing it but there is no way he couldn’t have felt the deception and do nothing about it or at least feel some type of way about it. If he’s so strong and powerful and dangerous and controlled all those newborns and is so much stronger and better than María why didn’t he stage an uprising or something? Don’t give me that “he didn’t know what he was doing” excuse. It’s the same tired ass excuse y’all use for him being apart of the confederation and it makes no sense. He was able to think for himself (and apparently has a strong smart vampire brain) and do for himself and literally had power over himself and others. This is literally me saying that the shit doesn’t add up from what we know from canon. It doesn’t make sense and I’m calling out the plot holes and why it doesn’t make any sense and why it should be taken with a grain of salt. Because it’s bullshit.

This is NOT me saying “men can’t be abused” or some other shit y’all want to put into my mouth. Like you guys do all the time. But of course he didn’t actively choose to make any of those decisions and act upon it on his own, no it’s all the woman (Maria’s) fault for every single thing he did. He was completely mindless and stupid and didn’t stop to think about anything once. I am in NO way saying that María wasn’t wrong for the lie that she told him or the manipulation or whatever it’s definitely wrong but it’s also unfair that she is the only being hated for it when the main characters do the same shit?! Yet everyone ignores it because it’s not abuse when they lie and manipulate. It’s unfair that people who like her and see the error in the way she was created and want to change that or whatever and ship her with Jasper get hate for it yet you guys can do the exact same thing with your faves and their issues? THATS WHAT IM CALLING OUT! I’m not mad bc y’all “don’t ship abuse” I’m mad because you’re all hypocrites and you all fail to see it. It’s said that she did lie and manipulation and it’s “implied” as abuse and people take that little bit of info and run with it (like they do a lot) and make it out like María is the worst person ever to walk the earth and was lying to him constantly about every little thing ever and was sexually abusing him and was physically beating him even tho NONE of this is EVER stated in canon. Y’all vilify the shit out of her (the hate gets so bad I’ve seen people literally act like she’s dirty and impure and beneath compared to the special white savior and all bc she’s the manipulative colored rival and that’s ANOTHER place where the racist undertones come to play.) bc Meyer painted them as this turbulent problematic relationship with the bad colored promiscuous sexually deviant woman and then Jasper finds a pure white woman and they have the bestest, healthiest relationship ever. They don’t tho. Alice lies to him too. Alice lies to him a lot in the saga and actively keeps things from him. Alice talks down to him and teams up with Edward and is on his side all the time to treat him like a child and basically act like he’ll never be as good as them when it comes to bloodlust (Edward legit says this shit about him but yeah this family is sooo loving and they believe in him soo much blow me.) She kicks him and stomps on his foot when he has thoughts or does something that isn’t ~Cullen like~ and that’s okay? That’s supportive? Jasper himself manipulates her emotions without her permission and tells her to not worry about important people that are supposed to be “family” and manhandles her when she had that vision and this is supposed to be so much better? This is supposed to be one of the best relationships in the saga because ~mates~ and tru wuv?! Their whole courtship and mating doesn’t even make a lick of sense why would he go into a diner? full of people? Especially if he was hungry?! That doesn’t make sense! How could she have possibly had a vision of him? and then automatically assumed she was supposed to be his ~mate~ that makes even less sense, and they’re incompatible and are pretty scummy to each other but it’s disguised as pure mated mystical love, by Meyer.

We’re supposed to like it and it’s supposed to be great but it’s not and I don’t because I see holes and I’m not falling for Meyers bullshit excuses to cover her own ass; we know Meyer has a problem with showing vs. telling but we also know she has a problem with making things that are supposed to be good look terrible. but his relationship with the big bad Mexican is the one that’s completely wrong and supposed to be feared? He has more in common with said Mexican woman and pretty much acts just like her! He went along with her and what she wanted and didn’t stop and think about what the fuck he was doing and he’s known to do this in canon because he literally said that he did the same thing with Alice. He was made to feel powerful and capable even if what he was doing wasn’t morally sound. Also omg over time they eventually began to have some real feelings for each other from their little relationship they had on the side or whatever and to this day they’re still friends with each other and Jasper thinks about her from time to time and wishes her well. They actually GREW to be friends and actually had some kind of development and progress in their relationship. Their okay with each other now even with their turbulent past and Jasper doesn’t hate her. Like at all and you mean to tell me that’s bad? It’s just horribly abusive and people have no right to ship it or even like it and/or indulge in it because they may see some potential with what Meyer did with them and want to build on that and improve it??? We ALL know Meyer creates a lot of things, characters, plot points with soo much potential but always ruins it and people in fandom see that and want to change it and love it and bring out that potential but when it comes to certain characters and ships (mainly involving poc) that’s off limits? Yet y’all do the same thing with yalls boring ass white canon characters and ships or just ignore the ships/characters issues in general??? But feel like y’all got the right to play god and be all high and mighty and holier than thou and viciously attack people for doing what y’all want to do??

Now That’s a fucking joke.

Not only is it a joke it’s also unfair. Who tf are y’all to dictate what someone can and can’t like/indulge in??? and I love how everyone wants to claim “oh I don’t ship Edward/Bella Jasper/Alice etc... bullshit! All y’all do is talk about them and make headcanons and au’s and shit that’s what this fandom mostly consists of, quit fucking backtracking and lying. This doesn’t even begin to explain all things wrong with this hypocritical ass fandom but this rant is more so related to what just happened that was my last straw and made me leave that ignorant ass shitshow of a fandom.

You people read that whole passage that I wrote calling out unfair treatment and fucked up behavior and you STILL just watered it down to “oh they’re just mad because we don’t ship abuse” YES YALL DO! and that’s the problem!!! You guys HATE it when people talk shit about y’all and look down on y’all for liking twilight and tell y’all not to like it bc it’s riddled with abuse and manipulation regarding the main characters and you all come up with your own excuses and reasons (however valid or not they may be) for still liking and indulging in it and trying to fix. Yet you turn around and do the same thing to your own people in the fandom who only ask for/want the same thing y’all ask/want from twi-haters? I was calling out y’all hypocritical actions that is sometimes rooted in racism and how it’s fucked up! I was also calling out how y’all vehemently disrespected, mocked and attacked a real life human person and egged on the op for childishly being a dick to someone for no reason and you all made fun of them for VERY POLITELY requesting something Jasper/Maria related and yet y’all call yourselves nice and accepting? If you didn’t want to do it you could have just kindly told them that you didn’t want to do it. You didn’t have to make a joke moodboard post acting like you’re disgusted (funny how we all must be disgusted with the dirty impure Mexican lol) and the rest of y’all didn’t have to reblog it acting like op was so smart and funny and putting shit in the tags like “why do people ship them lol” “like grow a braincell pls” or “open ur mind” like y’all need to open your minds and realize y’all ain’t shit for that and it WRONG! It was RUDE! Wanna ask “why do people ship them” why do YOU ship shit like Edward/Bella, Jacob/Bella, Jasper/Alice, Victoria/James etc...?? Y’all collectively froth over Victoria and excuse her yet she did. the. exact. same. shit!! Albiet badly, but Come ON! now it’s suddenly okay and excuseable when you throw some white skin on it? Why do YOU even like TWILIGHT if it’s riddled with so much shit?! Racism, sexism, homophobia. If anyone needs to “grow a braincell” it’s y’all. Also yes, let’s attack people and call them dumb and stupid all for what they ship. That’s good. Yet y’all have been attacked your whole lives for liking twilight and can’t seem to make that connection. Once y’all get a little bit of recognition and power y’all wanna act exactly like the people that mistreated y’all to other innocent people that just want to be involved because they think you guys are cool. Y’all are so fucking backwards smh you people suck so fucking hard man.

Fuck the twilight fandom and fuck twilight. Y’all have ruined something I actually used to enjoy by being such nasty hypocritical turds about everything that isn’t white and popular and what you all like. You can’t be different or have different thoughts or unpopular opinions. Though y’all always say that you can, you can’t. The minute you even say anything about the Cullens that yall don’t like or the minute you ship anything that y’all don’t like, or have an opinion on a character or trope that y’all don’t like y’all get to shading and vague posting and mobbing up talking mad shit. You are all so damn fake and I hope and pray y’all get what’s coming to yall for being such nasty disgusting people and yes maybe I did come on a little too strong the first time and should have handled it better and spoken better and been more respectful but after being here for so many years and knowing y’all? That shit wouldn’t have worked. Y’all still would have reacted with viciousness and bullshit and miss the entire point. It’s what y’all constantly do. Look at what y’all do to people who politely ask for something you may not want to do??? If that’s how y’all react to innocent people then imma honestly pray for y’all. I repeat the same energy people give out and I repeated y’all nasty ass energy in my response and if you don’t like it you need to look at yourself and y’all need to stop pointing the fucking finger all the damn time. Grow the fuck up. Also if people really wanna insult me for writing PARAGRAPHS about shit YALL do? Not only is that the dumbest most useless fucking insult I’ve ever seen but it also reflects on y’all because of the simple fact that I have to write paragraphs calling out the shit y’all do and putting it in detail because y’all don’t know how to fucking read and comprehend shit, and YALL STILL MISSED MY POINT!!! That is... just wow. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Imagine being that dumb!

#jasper hale #the twilight saga #twilight #twilight saga #jasper whitlock #twilight renissance #tts #twilight fandom #fandom racism #fandom bullshit #yeah im done here #i cant take so much dumbssery in one place #yall come up with the stupidest conclusions sometimes to save your own ass #so you can continue being delisonal idiotas #im finished with this fandom fuck yall #fuck yall and fuck this

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