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akakeiiji · 3 years

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HI!~ (THIS IS MY FIRST TINE REQUESTING AND IM REALLY EXCITED) Can I request a scenario where their smol s/o (I'm like 155 or 5'1 for reference) gets easily lost? Like they just wonder off on their own cause they think that he's still with them and she tends to leave her phone with him so calling to find her is out of the question??? (Me honestly IM SORRY FRIENDS AND FAMILY) She likes a lot of things so sometimes its hard to find her cause they never know where she is? Ushi, Tsuki and Bokuto-🌼

-`,✎ Ushijima, Tsukishima and Bokuto losing their short S/O in a crowd

THIS REQUEST IS JUST TOO ADORABLE AND IT HITS SO CLOSE TO HOME!! We’re the same height nonnie 🤧🤧✋ Short gang, where ya’ll at?

Also I apparently don’t know how to read because I thought you requested for headcanons at first despite you clearly asking for scenarios so I decided to keep the hcs since I was already halfway done with them~ hope you don’t mind, nonnie!

The man is literally built like the empire state building, he just towers over everyone, it’s insane

And then there you are behind him, all tiny and stuff, it’s so friggin adorable

He doesn’t really notice your height difference at all

Whenever people point it out, he just cocks his head with his eyebrows furrowed and is like “Yeah, I’m tall?? And they’re short?? Why are you reacting like that?”

He’s genuinely confused and doesn’t see why it’s a big deal at all

When he looks at you he doesn’t really pick up on itty bitty details like your height and stature; he just sees you for the whole you and sees you simply as this perfect deity that he loves

But he does appreciate the perks that come with it such as the way you feel when he hugs you after a match or the way you look up at him so adorably when you’re trying to get a kiss

He also didn’t realize the cons that came with having a tiny s/o

There are many but we’re focusing on the fact that it’s so easy to lose you in a crowd

He’ll literally look away for 0.5 seconds and when he looks back at you, you’re suddenly gone

He probably won’t notice for a bit but after a while, he’ll wonder why you aren’t holding onto his sleeve or hand anymore

Whenever this happens he usually goes about it in two ways; he’d either stay still where he is and let you find him (which isn’t hard, he sticks out like a sore thumb) or if enough time passes, he’ll retrace his steps and look for you himself

He’ll have a tiny little frown on his face since he gets so worried about you, like you’re so tiny what if you get trampled??

When he does find you though, the wide smile on your face when you catch sight of him honestly makes the search worth it

can you tell that I miss ushi so friggin much

The streets in downtown Tokyo are always so packed at this time of day. There were hundreds of people rushing to and from work, tourists taking in the sights, and busy shoppers such as yourself and Ushijima; you two had just finished shopping together and were heading to your favorite restaurant in the area as you always do to end your date night.

Your hand remained tightly wrapped around the hem of your boyfriend’s coat as you two made your way down the busy streets, struggling to not get pulled away as people continued to mercilessly push past you. You would have much rather held Ushijima’s hand but he insisted on carrying all your shopping bags and was rather preoccupied with them at that moment.

He marched on, oblivious to your struggles behind him. It was during times like this when you hated how short your legs were, you were practically jogging to keep up with your boyfriend who, to him, was only going at a leisurely pace.

Before you knew it, your hand had loosened and you suddenly lost hold of his coat. You looked up, hoping to find him just a few feet away, but he had disappeared into the sea of people all around you.

Ushijima hadn’t noticed anything at first, he was too focused on where he was going to realize that the little tugs on the hem of his coat throughout the journey were suddenly gone. He looked down at both his hands and placed the shopping bags on one of them to the other so that he could use it to hold your own.

He held out his free hand behind him, calling out your name, and motioned for you to grab it. A few seconds went by of him gesturing like this only to be met with no response.

He looked back, eyebrows furrowed, only to find no sign of you.

Ushijima immediately stops in his tracks, eyes widening ever so slightly as he did a little 360 turn in his spot, raking over the crowds rushing past him in hopes he’d find your familiar head of hair bouncing about.

He stood motionless where he was, forcing people to walk around him—most wanted to tell him off for standing in the middle of the street but no one had the balls to.

A few minutes went by and he began walking down the direction he came from looking everywhere for you. Worry began to bubble in him when you were still nowhere to be found but suddenly he saw a figure waving at him from afar.

You were standing on top of those small cement blocks on the bottom street lights, waving your free hand that wasn’t wrapped around the lamp towards your boyfriend, grinning ear to ear when you met eyes with him.

Ushijima smiled in relief, shoulders relaxing as he made his way over to you. You met him halfway, immediately wrapping your arms around him in a hug, burying your face into his chest.

“I’m never letting go of your hand next time.” He said, pressing a chaste kiss on the top of your head before interlocking your fingers together. You laughed, nodding in agreement. “Definitely not.”

We all already know this: Kei is fucking ruthless

It doesn’t matter that you’re dating. It doesn’t matter that you’re literally his favorite person in the world tho he’ll never admit this to you you will not be free from his savageness

No one is more hyper-aware of your height difference than he is and no one teases you more than him

Tsukishima is literally the type to steal your things and hold them over your head or he’ll purposefully stand at full height whenever you want to kiss him just so that he can watch you struggle

“Oh, babe, I didn’t see you from down there.”

Is the type to purposefully put things you use all the time up on the top shelves in cupboards and cabinets

He says that he does this to annoy but really he does this so that you can call him to help you since he banned you from climbing the counters 🤧✋

He really loves your height though as much as he likes to tease you for it

He loves how easy it is to wrap his arms around you and how you burrow into his chest whenever you hug

His favorite thing about your height is probably the fact that it’s so comfortable being the big spoon with you since you fit so snuggly against him 🥺

again he’ll never tell you this, my man is tight-lipped

However he can get very protective over you, it’s like he developed this idea in this head that small = fragile

So whenever he loses track of you in a crowd (which happens a lot, it's honestly embarrassing) he immediately drops everything and searches for you

He’ll have this permanent pout on his face as he retraces his steps, going back to wherever you two were and keeping an eye out for either you or places that would catch your eye

Once he finally catches you, he’d sigh in relief and immediately put up his “i’m annoyed right now, give me attention” face and head over to you, knocking your head with his knuckles lightly

He’d lecture you a bit about staying close to him and he’d spend the rest of your time out with his eye on you and with his hand tightly wrapped around your own

The mall was always so crowded during the weekend especially now that Christmas was just around the corner. Tsukishima told you that you two should visit the mall later during the week but you were just so excited to see this new movie, he simply couldn’t say no; he cursed himself for being so tightly wrapped around your finger.

The building was already pretty full when you two entered the cinema but when you two emerged, it was as if the number of people there seemed to double in just a span of a few hours.

As you two made your way through the tight-knit crowds of people, the frown on Tsukishima’s face never left as people kept pushing and rushing past him. He called out your name behind him and said, “See, I told you we should have come after the weekend, it’s like half the city is here right now.”

He waited for your usual giggle or scoff, maybe a light smack on his arm as you tell him to brighten up but there wasn’t any of that.

“(Y/N)? Did you hear me? I—(Y/N?),” He turned around, worried that you may have been upset at him but instead was surprised to find that you weren’t trailing along behind him like he expected you to be.

He turned around fully, hands coming out of his pocket as he raked his eyes over the crowds of people around him. It would be nearly impossible to find you here, there were probably hundreds of people in the mall now.

Tsukishima groaned slightly as he ran a hand through his locks, his other hand going into his pant pocket to ring your phone only to realize that it was with him as well, right next to his. This elicited a second groan from the blonde.

Knowing you, you probably got distracted by something and wandered away from him.

He retraced his steps, keeping a close eye on his surroundings. He had no idea when you wandered away from him so you could have been anywhere. He stood at full height, towering over the majority of the crowd, and scanned the entirety of the floor and the shops on it.

He entered a few stores he knew you’d most likely visit; the bookstore, the pet store, and a shop that was having a 50% sale but he found no traces of you.

Tsukishima was about to give up and head to the information desk and ask them to announce something on the loudspeaker to grab your attention—probably something along the lines of “To the small gremlin wandering around floor three right now, please meet Tsukishima Kei at the main exit.”—when he spotted a bright store on the other side of the floor.

You were there. He just knew it.

He rolled his eyes as he made his way to the anime store and low and behold, there you were, crouching as you stared at the shelves of anime merchandise, a wide ear to ear grin on your face.

Tsukishima sighed and lightly smacked you, tearing you away from your thoughts and making you look up at him in shock.

“You are such an idiot, (Y/N).” You only laughed in response and wrapped your arms around his waist and pressed your face onto his chest. “Aww, Kei! Were you worried about me?”

“Of course, I was. How do you expect me to feel?” He said with another roll of his eyes. He brought his hand up and placed it on top of your head. “I was worried someone thought you were a child and kidnapped you.”

You let out an indignant gasp and started to smack him but he only laughed and took your hand in his, dragging you out of the store behind him ignoring your protests.

Nobody in the whole entire world thinks you’re more adorable than Bokuto

He adores the fact that you’re so tiny, he likes you call you his pocket-sized s/o

He never really teases you, instead he always coos and coddles you

He especially loves lifting you up in his arms and twirling you around, he always does this after winning a game and it always leaves you feeling dizzy

But you never complain bc who would complain about being hugged by Kou like that 🤧✋

However, as much as Bokuto loves how smol you are, he always kinda forgets that you’re short??

It’s because he’s always surrounded by tall people; his friends, the volleyball team, etc.

So he always forgets to adjust when he’s with you

And you know how some people just naturally walk really really fast, like they can’t help it, it’s just how they walk normally??

Yeah, that’s Bokuto

And this paired with the fact that he is literally 6’1 means he practically travels at light speed

Your tiny legs can barely keep up with your excitable boyfriend and you’re always practically jogging to keep up with him so if you take your eyes off of him for even just a few seconds he’ll probably run off somewhere and disappear 😔✋

This occurs so often when you two are out that you’re never shocked whenever it happens

It takes a few minutes before Bokuto realizes that he’s suddenly alone in a crowd and that you aren’t beside him like he thought you would be

AND IM SORRY BUT THE FIRST THING HE’LL DO IS JUST YELL OUT YOUR NAME REPEATEDLY AT FULL VOLUME WITH NO SHAME WHATSOEVER

“(Y/N)!! WHERE ARE YOU??”

Everyone around him would give him looks but he wouldn’t care, he just needs to find you fast or he’ll start panicking tho he lowkey already is

Some people would think that he’s looking for his kid but nah, he’s just looking for his smol s/o who would show up beside him after a while with a disgruntled look on their face

It never takes long for you two to reunite when you get separated, you just have to wait for the distinctive voice of your boyfriend yelling for you somewhere

When you two find each other, the first thing he’ll do is pull you into a tight hug, usually lifting you up from the ground as he presses a few kisses on your cheeks in relief

He’ll remember to walk slowly for the rest of the time you’re out, usually with his arm over your shoulder or with his hand tightly wrapped around your own

It made absolutely no sense to you that Bokuto literally grew up in the city yet has never visited the amusement park in the area before. You’ve visited the park countless times before but for your boyfriend, it was a first.

Bokuto was practically bouncing with excitement ever since you proposed the idea of visiting the amusement park together and it only got more intense as the day of your visit grew closer and closer.

You somewhat regretted not pushing your date to a later day in the week so that it didn’t fall on the weekend since the park was so packed but that feeling quickly dissipated when you glanced at your beaming boyfriend beside you.

What you did regret however was the fact that you didn’t wear more comfortable shoes, ones that were more fitting for exercise rather than leisurely walks since you were practically running around the park just to keep up with Bokuto.

His hand remained tightly clasped on your own as he sprinted all around the park, looking at all the rides, food stands, and gift shops around the place. He wasn’t really running, he was simply walking at a quick pace but this coupled with his long legs made it so difficult to match his pace with your significantly shorter ones.

You two had just gotten off a rather intense roller coaster and you felt your head spin from how dizzy it made you, you halted in your steps as Bokuto was about to begin running towards another ride making Bokuto stop as well as he was pulled back by your hand which was still holding onto his.

“Koutarou, let me rest for a bit,” You said as you sat on a bench in the shade, Bokuto immediately nodded and took a seat beside you, he handed you a bottle of water from his bag. “Sure babe, here drink this.”

After a few minutes of talking and resting under the shade, you stood up, reinvigorated, and filled with more energy. “Okay, let’s go, I’m feeling much better now,”

Bokuto immediately jumped onto his feet and beamed at you, more than ready for another round of rollercoasters and thrilling rides. He held out his hand for you to take and you two headed farther into the park.

“Let’s go on the Viking ride next—wait, hold on, let me fix this.” You let go of your boyfriend’s hand and began adjusting the overpriced headband on your head; Bokuto insisted on buying matching ones at the gift shop despite their ridiculous price (“Look, it’s just so adorable!”)

When you looked up, ready to grab ahold of his hand again, Bokuto was suddenly nowhere to be seen.

You whipped your head all around you but you couldn’t see the familiar head of hair of your boyfriend in the horde of people around you. You stood on your tiptoes, craning your head to get a better view but that didn’t do anything to help. You feel back on your feet and huffed; curse you and your short stature.

You walked down the direction you two were originally headed at, raking your eyes over the crowds of people you walked past when you suddenly heard a familiar voice yelling out your name from a distance. You whipped your head towards the direction of the voice and began to jog towards it.

Bokuto was standing on his tiptoes, his hands cupping his mouth as he called out for you over and over again, oblivious to the looks of shock from the people around him.

As he was about to scream out your name for the dozenth time, you suddenly pushed your way through the people around him and grabbed ahold of his arm, an exasperated yet also relieved look on your face.

Bokuto’s face immediately lit up, the small frown on his lips turning into a large smile as he wrapped his arms around you. He pressed you into his chest and lifted you off the ground as he usually does when he hugs you.

You giggled and flailed around as he did this, when he placed you back safely on the ground, he placed a small kiss on your forehead.

“Sorry for leaving you behind,” Bokuto said as he laced his fingers onto your own, “It won’t happen again,”

You scoffed playfully and let yourself be dragged along by him, “That’s what you said last time, Kou.”

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eschergirls · 4 years

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Originally posted at: https://eschergirls.com/photo/2020/04/22/guaranteed-get-female-your-bag

Another gem from Jess Morrissette on Twitter:

"What if we simply played to our strengths? What if we're so good at gaming, it somehow triggers an 'I want the alpha male' response in females?" A Game Geek's Guide to Getting Girls (PC Accelerator, February 2000).

I know PC Accelerator was trying to be a Maxim for gamers thing but holy crumbs. Even as comedy this comes up short. I almost would say you could make a drinking game out of reading this article but you'd probably die taking shots whenever "a female" showed up. Also extra points for the advice to hide your gaming interest from a woman until you "bag" her because not letting your partner know about an important hobby in your life is a great way to make sure she's interested in it. >_>

Transcription for screenreaders (thanks again to Bella (@MoviePosters00) for the transcription):

A GAME GEEK’S GUIDE TO GETTING GIRLS

Okay palm-shavers, listen up! Reaction time is a factor. Say the first word that comes into your mind when we say "flying fat baby with a bow and arrow." No — not Messiah! Dammit, your answer is the reason we're writing this article. When you see that pint-sized chubby cherub whizzing around plinking people, it means Valentine's Day is breathing down your neck ... and baby, with this much love magic in the air, even you might be able to get a date.

As a service to you, our reader and — dare we say it — our friend, PCXL has sought an answer to the mystery that plagues so many gamers, "how do I get a girl?" We've searched high and low, discussed this conundrum over beer, subjected ourselves to countless seconds of daytime talk shows, drank more beer, picked up (and hastily put down) many women are from Venus-type books, slurped down more brew ... and, amazingly, reached an answer.

COMMUNICATION

To get chicks, a guy needs to communicate — often by talking. Realizing this Herculean task would prove impossible for almost any gamer worth his gaming spurs, and tougher for those even more worthless, we beat our heads against this barrier for days (and sucked down more beer) until a glimmer of hope laser-burned its way through the hangover.

What if we simply played to our strengths? What if we're so good at gaming, it somehow triggers an "I want the alpha male" response in females? Heavy stuff. Before we could commit our theory to print, we knew it needed rigorous testing, experimentation, quantifiable results. Unfortunately, we have no scientific credibility whatsoever. But we've never let a lack of credibility stop us before.

TERMINOLOGY

Here's a quick primer of terminology used in our experiments ...

Chick = Girl = Babe = Woman = Lady = Female = The ones with the bumps who constantly perplex us

Game Guy = You = Horny = Geek-like = Perplexed = Everyone needs a little help sometimes

Game =Game

Theory = An unproven idea that's more than likely wrong

Hypothesis = An unproven idea that's more than likely wrong. Also, the side of a right-angled triangle opposite the right angle.

Postulate = Something you assume from the outset to be true, unproven and wrong pretty much by definition

PCXL = Horny = Geek-like = Perplexed = Everyone needs a little help — and we're here to give it

EXPERIMENT ONE: THE "INTERACTIVE ROMANCE"

SUMMARY

In an ongoing effort to bring males and females together via the arena of computer gaming, a number of new companies are creating "gender-friendly'" titles. DreamCatcher Interactive (http://www.dream-catchergames.com) has developed an interactive romantic adventure based on a true story. The Legend of Lotus Spring (set to release February 2000) has players of most major sexes participating in the story of a young emperor and the woman that he is forbidden to love. Described as a "whimsical, non-violent game," TLLS takes you to the Far East over 100 years ago, touching on cultural, as well as romantic and adventure elements. As a date-locating technique, the TLLS experiment was an abject failure, as evidenced by this Session Excerpt from a co-ed focus group:

SUBJECT ONE (female)

They should've gotten Fabio to be in this thing!

SUBJECT TWO (female)

I'd like to help with the "motion capture" for that!

SUBJECT ONE (female)

It's so whimsical and non-violent!

SUBJECT THREE (female)

Awwwww, look at that! There's a "virtual serenade."

SUBJECT FOUR (male)

Sweet Jesus, please let me die.

PLUSES

Subjects 1-3 enjoyed whimsical, non-violent gameplay; Subject 4 also experienced Culture and Sensitivity-Broadening elements, as per his previous plea bargain with the City and County of San Francisco, California. (His original offense involved animal shelter felines and "Black Cat" brand firecrackers, but we shan't elaborate on that story.)

MINUSES

Despite a sincere effort on Subject Four's part to share the cultural and romantic elements of the game, considerable friction erupted. Subjects 1-3 suggested a "Fore-Player HunkMatch" mode while Subject Four insisted the experience remain a "Single-Player Shooter." Alas, Subject Four did not survive the triple-strength Silent Treatment that ensued.

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Minus One. Not only did the male subject fail to score, but he was repeatedly and needlessly reminded of his utter lack of resemblance to Fabio.

EXPERIMENT TWO: PLAYING HOUSE

THE SIMS

Frankly, everyone believes that The Sims, from software-as-living-toy masters Maxis, is going to be an absolutely cool game. If you didn't read last month's exposé (crawl out from under your rock), it's the "game of life" made real.

You develop characters, Sims as they're called, and guide, coddle, force, etc. them through various phases in life, searching for financial and marital success. You can end up a lazy, jobless, criminal (much like the PCXL editorial staff) or you can develop a thriving career, gain the respect of your peers and co-workers, and generally lead the sort of enviable life we'll never quite achieve.

Lightbulb flashin' over your noggin yet? That's right — this should be perfect for connecting with chicks! We had the same thought ... not surprisingly, we once again demonstrated our total lack of experience and knowledge of the female thought process.

We were deep into the experiment when we realized that playing The Sims with a cute lass is like eating the broccoli and skipping dessert. How so? The Sims is just so real when you play it with a chick. They actually try to do well with their characters and they want you to succeed too. By the time you're done, you're married, employed, saddled with children ... and you haven't even gotten a kiss off the girl (in real life).

PLUSES

If you're really hard up, The Sims is sort of like practice for relating to real flesh and blood females.

MINUSES

The Sims presents all the work with none of the perks. Perhaps the most telling test-result was this ... babes don't get weak-kneed around men who play house!

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

2.5 dollies — While the game initially got the attention of the female subjects and painted the male subject in a sensitive light, it eventually rendered the male subject more hard up than ever in "real life."

EXPERIMENT THREE: GIRLS THINK THEY CAN DRIVE

NASCAR LEGENDS & TEST DRIVE 6

Why did man invent the wheel? So he could invent cars. Why did he invent cars? So he could impress chicks, of course. The attempt to translate the theory that "chicks are impressed by car-savvy guys" into "chicks are impressed by car-GAME-savvy guys" began with Test Drive 6 from Infogrames —and an utter failure to "get her motor running." The following audio was recorded during a race through Rome:

GUY

Hey! Watch the curve coming up!

CHICK

Is there a map? I don't think this is the best route, we should stop and ask for directions. Isn't Father of the Bride on Channel 4 tonight?

CAR

[CRASHES]

The session was immediately scrubbed and re-started the next day using Nascar Legends. In addition to bitchin' graphics, the incredibly realistic races in Nascar Legends are on tracks — eliminating the whole map thing. Our male test subject was able to expound on the muscular virtues of a 1970 Plymouth and get veeeery groovy in his lingo.

GUY

This is so groovy.

CHICK

Did you just say the word "groovy"?

As the race intensified, Nascar Legends and the general grooviness seemed to be having the desired effect.

CHICK

Mmmmm, wish I could drive this with a joystick ...

Unfortunately, this test case proved inconclusive, because the friggin' puss — ahem — guy, made the fatal mistake of paying too much attention to the game and ignoring the girl. He allowed a full 37 seconds to elapse before responding to the joystick statement, sending several possible messages to the test chick:

A) He was not interested in any way whatsoever in helping her get her hands on a joystick.

B) He cared more about the game than he did about her.

C) He is a total lame-ass and is wasting oxygen that a real man could use to deliver a clever joy-stick retort.

Despite the excellence of Nascar Legends, this experiment resulted in the death-knell response:

CHICK

Isn't Father of the Bride on Channel 4 tonight?

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Five joysticks for the game, three joysticks for the experience of actually playing this with a female, and an obvious and complete lack of a joystick on the part of the male test subject.

EXPERIMENT FOUR: CHANGING TACK

NOCTURNE

When G.O.D. opened the Spook-House doors and unleashed their deliciously ghastly Nocturne, little did they imagine the power they were placing in the hands of the would-be non-virginal male. A combination of "X-Files" chic and classic survival horror action, Nocturne will give you the tools to awaken your "little zombie" from the dead, but you can't expect G.O.D. to do all the work. Take a cue from the game's incredible atmosphere and transform your grotty little hovel into an environment suitable for jitters-induced romance. Lower the lighting ... candles would be a nice touch. Make sure your friend/room-mate/mom (oh, you sad little boy) won't pop in and burst your love-bubble at the climactic moment. Steal some grave stones and casually lay them about:

GIRL

Are those real grave stones?

YOU

Oh, these? They sure are.

GIRL

You're so cool, after we play a little bit of Nocturne, let's do some ... rubbings.

Don't talk during the game play if you can help it. Let the silence and tension build so that when a shambling horror suddenly lunges at her onscreen persona, she'll shriek. The effect is totally ruined, however, if you're the one who lets loose an effeminate shriek.

PLUSES

With proper set-up and execution, a "Nocturne Date" will deliver more sizzle than a dozen oysters. Even if you don't score, a night of blasting werewolves and zombies is a night well spent.

MINUSES

There's a definite gross out factor at work here. When ghouls overwhelm your date and feast on her twitching on-screen corpse, she may be more inclined to vomit than make out with you. On the other hand, you can turn this negative to your advantage by slapping a hand over the offending image and intoning in your best movie hero voice, "This isn't something you want to see."

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Four Severed Zombie arms. Good for you!

EXPERIMENT FIVE: SAVE ME HERO!

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT

Admittedly an unlikely candidate for Date Movie of the Year, The Blair Witch Project — the overhyped no-budget, shake-cam, low-grade-video epitaph for three missing-and-presumed-screwed filmmakers — yielded the highest results in terms of female subjects exposed versus female subjects, ah, exposed. Throughout the course of the film, the three actors lose their bearings. hurl profanities at each other, and eventually meet an enigmatic but doubtless unpleasant end.

Of course, the game version of this, utilizing the Nocturne engine, is in the works and will be published by G.O.D. A clingy female, the DVD, followed by the game… what kind of loser would you have to be screw up this opportunity for a terror induced tryst? Now where the f —k is the map?

PLUSES

The overwhelming majority of female subjects tested responded positively. often sporadically clinging to the males next to them during, and in most cases after, the film. At least two left the theater with the stated intention of staying with the males that evening. Of course, at least a quarter of the male subjects also clutched the males next to them at least once during the film. There are, ah, other magazines that will deal with those test results.

MINUSES

A very. very slim but noteworthy percentage (about 8%) of otherwise-sensitive female subjects found the film's terror element utterly ineffective —thereby degrading the relative status of the participating males (who thought the film was scary) to that of instant, shriveled Weenie. “This is so not cool, Josh!”

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Five wood-stick-figure-thingies. Heh, heh, heh — we said "wood."

WHAT WE LEARNED

Of course, much of our experimentation assumed the herculean task of getting the girl into your "love nest” in the first place. If you can manage that, then it's best to keep your passion for gaming a secret (until you've bagged her).

Going the route of using horror to terrify a “victim”' to your arms is more fraught with problems (not to mention issues of legality). So get them in to your life in whatever way you can, then you can use the tips and game styles we've investigated to ensure that you can still spend time at your PC and keep the girlfriend happy (a tough mix — trust us).

What could possibly be better than a lovely co-operative Diablo adventure, a Worms: Armageddon face-off, or living out your virtual lives together in Everquest or Asheron's Call?

Remember though, that the real fun and frolics needs to be done in the real world, not online. There are probably laws against that kind of thing.

EXPERIMENT SIX: LET’S GET LITERARY

SALEM'S LOT

This technique was developed outside our offices but captured on videotape. It's so diabolical, so shameless, that we hesitate to even report it. But we will anyway.

The Diabolical Test Subject (DTS for short) had candles lit, Courvoisier at the ready, and was seated with a girl (GIRL for short) on a couch. Further still, he was, brace yourselves, talking to her. In the midst of our shock we realized that he was reading.

It took us two minutes to determine what tome of romantic lore he was reciting ... it was Salem's Lot, by Stephen King.

You may be saying "So what? I'm a gamer, not a librarian.” Or perhaps you've seen the 1970s made-for-TV movie “Salem's Lot" starring Starsky (or was it Hutch?) Well, pay attention Love Master ... by borrowing someone else's words you'll seem smart. By displaying no fear (even during the graveyard scene with little Danny Glick) you'll seem more manly. But above all else, by reading, you will appear to be communicating.

At press time we hadn't managed to work out whether Blue Byte's new Stephen King-based release F13 will induce the same terror effect as Salem's Lot. It does feature a new story from the currently rehabilitating horror-meister and desktop themes and screensavers, etc. for fan boys. Fan-girls are fewer, but never turn to their touchy-feely drivel as a substitute.

TIFFANYSDOMAIN.COM

Do you know why we love Tiffany so much? (If you've seen her pictures here and you don't know, you've got bigger problems than we thought). We love her because she's on Playboy's new video "Wildwebgirls.com"

And we love her because she's on the Playboy Channel's "Night Calls." She also has her very own website that we've been spending an inordinate amount of time “researching” for this feature ... tiffanysdomain.com.

If, after reading this little bit of prose, you still remain chickless, you can see a whole lot more of Tiffany (and a wagon-load of other babes who have problems staying dressed) on "Wildwebgirls.com”... or checkout www.playboy.com for all the steamy details.

Thanks Tiffany!

#magazines #pc accelerator #video games #double standards #representation #general sexism #links #submission

215 notes · View notes

milanosbitch · 4 years

Text

rec list for endhawks gems

as usual during this quarantine, i went through a challenging quest, searched through every single fic on ao3 about a single ship and made a rec list, ended up with around 25 works out of 630. nearly all of them should be free of explicit, problematic and triggering content besides one or two in the mature content sense. and i’ll note those down separately but i always suggest reading the tags before starting a fic regardless the rating, just so you know what you’re diving into. furthermore, there’s this author note at the end of a fic that i’ve found which pretty much sums up my feelings about a mess that’s called todoroki friggin’ enji:

“ I love Hawks and Endeavor together. They're a great dynamic, whether it's platonic or not. I'm a pretty open guy when it comes to shipping, and me and a certain lilviathan love going back and forth with dumb ideas about them.

And that's kind of where the contradictory feelings for the Flaming Garbage Man that is Endeavor kind of come from? Because I really do think he's a very interesting and well-developed character, but I also have a very strong urge to stab him at any given time.

I want to make his life miserable and hurt him, but I also want someone to sit him down and tell him that while he owes his family an apology, they do not owe him forgiveness. I want to see him grow. I want to see him face the repercussions of his actions and move forward. ”

—by Canarianyellow on archiveofourown.org

last notes; starred ones are my personal favorites, and i'm adding to this list as i go,, so look out for updates!! you can find a better formatted version of this list here on google docs.

that being said, here are the gems i found on a yet another holy quest:

Walk Alone by adastrad*

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 3.6K

Summary: You've lost your wings, you've lost your speed, and in the crowd ahead, you've lost him too. How do you know what name to call out when you don't even know what to call yourself?

as usual, kick-starting the list with one of the first fics i’ve read about them. we have some pretty good angst related to the latest manga chapters in our hands and a fascinating second person pov here. the ‘stream of consciousness’ style of wording kicks you right in the ribs, in a good way.

&&.

It's Cold, I Don't Want To Be Lonely

by onlyatitagain

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 3.7K

Summary: When in the presence of Todoroki Enji, it was easy to feel warm and overwhelmed by heat in more ways than just physical. Hawks was very aware of the fire burning in his heart that roared to life whenever he was with his childhood hero, who was now his best friend. The relationship they had was special in the way of how close they had become, Hawks trusted the number one hero with his life and could always count on him no matter the circumstance.

What would happen if he said something and ruined that trust, the friendship they had built over months of knowing each other?

You should never play with fire, unless you want to get burned.

truly a beautiful hurt/comfort fic. enji’s characterization is gentle and might feel slightly OOC, but give it a chance. there is also some pretty cheesy couple stuff at the end and that might not be your cup of tea, just a heads up.

&&.

Fallen by copper_leaf**

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 7.3K

Summary: Hawks’ attempt to infiltrate the League goes wrong.

Enji is the one he turns to.

both its part one and part two, this series can take my soul. literally 7K of sheer hurt/comfort, and a caring enji. hawks’ eyeliner is probably ruined by now. can i say this is probably the best fic i’ve read about them softness-wise? i can.

&&.

Burning Embers by copper_leaf**

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 6K

Summary: Hawks wakes up, wingless, in Enji's arms.

the continuation of the fic above, here’s more content that will make you feel all mushy. a beautiful excerpt from it:

“It’s a flicker of light in the darkness, the last ember left in the heart that still has the power to bring all else to flame.”

&&.

The Bird Who Swallowed a Star*

by angyhawks (Soll)

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 4.5K

Summary: Endeavor remembers Hawks' small hands, how they didn't burn as he danced on his palms.

How Hawks had whispered sweet nothing into his flames, words not important as his lips moved and his voice chirped.

He remember Hawks finding him, small and spent, and gifting him a feather to feed on.

Endeavor wishes a feather had been his only offer.

//in which Endeavor is a fire demon, Hawks is once again tied to the ground, and wouldn't it be nice if they could kiss?

&&.

Light by Caahs*

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 2.1K

Summary: Since he was a boy, Hawks gathered an eternal distaste for darkness, which was preserved until his most recent days. However, the blazing figure of Endeavor always came up like his warm source of light, illuminating the most obscure paths and clarifying the most difficult decisions.

&&.

Emotions Are Hard, Love Even More So...

by aurora_whitlock

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 4.4K

Summary: Hawks and Endeavour at the end of a long week. Alone. Together. Its just some cute, fluffy bullshit basically. Warm your hurt little hearts.

&&.

Cuff me to the truth of failure

by Not_A_Valid_Opinion

Rating: Gen

Word Count: 3.4K

Summary: The kid’s eyes are so wide, Hawks can see the entire silhouette of his wings in their reflection. “I want to be you.”

Shit.

“No, you don’t, kid,” he can’t help but promise, can’t stop the sadness in his eyes from flickering into view.

Hawks has dinner with Enji after a bad interview.

&&.

Look at what amounts from the jump

(and I'm never coming down) by

Not_A_Valid_Opinion

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 3K

Summary: He stares at Endeavour with something close to regret, maybe closer to suspicion, but before Endeavour can catch the look it’s gone and replaced with a pursed lip and a glance at his phone. “I’ve gotta go. See you around, Enji.”

But the burly man stops him with his name. “Watch where you’re flying,” he says gruffly, though it’s different. It’s not an order. It’s not a request.

Whatever it is, Hawks takes it as a challenge.

Endeavour is worried about Hawks. Hawks doesn't know what to do with that information.

&&.

You mesmerise me in red and gold

by Arayne

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 4.2K

Summary: Enji has never gotten to tell Hawks what's on his mind so he tries, in several ways, to make it clear how he feels.

&&.

We've got a good thing going

by lehnsherry

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 3.7K

Summary: Enji is watching Shouto, so he notices the way his eyes snap to the kitchen doorway just before he hears the soft footsteps and the rustling of wings, and his heart jumps into his throat. He turns in his seat just in time to see Hawks walk in, eyes still closed and a hand scratching at his messy hair.

“Mornin’, babe, do you know where my -” Hawks breaks into a huge yawn, and then opens his sleepy eyes, and freezes in the doorway like Shouto used his power on him.

Enji’s mouth makes an involuntary sound of embarrassment, and Hawks flushes all the way down to his chest.

&&.

As He Lived by uzumae*

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 2.3K

Summary: Hawks wants to imagine that he still has a place in a world he no longer belongs to.

&&.

future hearts by rire

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 1.2K

Summary: When the rest of Hawks is putting on airs, it’s his wings that give him away.

&&.

Break off a piece of your heart by kettleowl

Rating: Gen

Word Count: 890

Summary: The High-End incident, but they are actors who are too emotionally invested in their roles.

&&.

to take a fall by rire

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 2.3K

Summary: “What’s with that look, Endeavor-san?” Hawks smiles. It doesn't reach his eyes. “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. I got what I wanted, didn’t I? Now I’ve got more free time than I know what to do with.”

&&.

A Thousand Flowers by adastrad*

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 440

Summary: "Let's hope the next time the cherry blossoms fall, we will all be smiling."

&&.

#fantheflames by adastrad

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 54.9K

Summary: Todoroki Shoto accidentally, on purpose, and with great regret helps make Hawks/Endeavor happen.

this is wholesome. one hundred percent cheff kiss. peak comedy with a dose of stan twitter. actually a shouto-centric fic and more like an outsider pov of slight endhawks.

&&.

This Gentle Earth by adastrad**

Rating: Gen

Word Count: 4.2K

Summary: Hawks buys a better excuse to keep visiting Musutafu, but damn it. Enji hadn't been looking to adopt.

guaranteed to melt your insides. enji ends up being a plant parent.

&&.

The Winner Takes it All by adastrad

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 25.2K

Summary: Endeavor's eye is gone. He may say his injuries are his own responsibility, but it's Hawks' fault, isn't it? He will give Enji everything he can. His top secret mission will take the rest.

slaps the roof of the fic this baby right here is a shortcut for a brain burn. with a complicated storytelling and equally complex characterizations, which results in a slow but satisfying reading if you’re looking for a detailed story!! there’s seriously so much pining that it keeps you on your tiptoes until the end of it.

&&.

Roasting the Roaster

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 3.7K

Summary: Hawks gossips with the receptionist at Endeavor Hero Agency about what a dork the boss is, discusses Endeavor lookalike porn, and then ropes Shouto into lunch with Endeavor, whereupon Shouto just roasts his dad the whole time.

Can you roast a man who's already on fire? Apparently, yes. Yes you can.

(includes the hit single Did You Need Some Ice For That Sick Burn by Hawks, ft. Shouto Todoroki)

[Only tangentially related to the other fics in this series.]

slight crack fic for humor but it’s truly well-written. a shouto and hawks team up over endeavor was something i never deeply gave attention to yet it is gold and i need more of it. hawks writes a bop, endeavor’s whole agency thirst over the said man and everything leaves you with tears in your eyes from cackling at these dorks.

&&.

the fics listed below the cut are rated mature or

explicit by the authors, and therefore contain sexual content:

Penumbra by Nicolefrickle

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 1.8K

Summary: Enji wants to touch Hawks' wings. Badly.

this one is rated mature but the theme is only minorly implied so i can say it is safe to read without worrying about the rating. more like a fluff fic with hawks being a happy birb.

&&.

An Imperfect Cage by Crandberrycrush

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 55.5K

Summary: Hawks is an orphan, brought up in a charity school and thrust into the world at eighteen to work as a governor for the Todoroki family, a family that has more secrets than he can hope to unravel.

*A gothic romance based heavily on the novel Jane Eyre*

&&.

Liquid Nitrogen by surveycorpsjean

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 23.8K

Summary: Enji can't figure out why the hell Hawks keeps sleeping in his office.

the plot? the writing? the characterization? everything is perfect. i’m normally uncomfortable with this much amount of smut and debated if i should put this on the list or not, since it might consist of triggering content for some. please read all the tags beforehand starting this piece.

&&.

Palindrome by Nicolefrickle

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 7.9K

Summary: Hawks doesn't realize just how much he needs Endeavor, or why it feels like he's still racing time.

A character study of Hawks with flashbacks and inner thoughts, heavy on the Endhawks, heavy on the hurt

#boku no hero academia #my hero academy #endeavor #hawks #todoroki enji #is an asshole #endhawks #endhawks fic #fic reccomendations #fic rec #bnha fanfic recs #takami keigo #todoroki shouto #makes an appearence in some fics #he is so done #quarantine had me digging ao3 #bnha fanfiction #beggs' rec list

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goldenraeofsun · 4 years

Text

‘cause right now you're mine

set in this verse

THURSDAY, APRIL 2nd

Dean 12:01 You didn’t tell me you led Carver Prep’s quiz bowl team???

Castiel 12:15 It’s in the middle of the school day and you’re texting. What kind of example are you setting for your students?

Castiel 12:16 I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t relevant.

Dean 12:17 Haha smartass I’m having lunch in my office Youre texting me back so i see right through you And of course it’s freaking relevant

Castiel 12:20 How?

Dean 12:21 Because I got tapped to coach Edlund High's quiz bowl team this morning!

Castiel 12:21 Oh no.

Dean 12:30 Oh no is right buddy

Castiel 12:37 I thought you coached the softball team.

Dean 12:37 I can do both You’re dating a very talented man

Castiel 12:49 I know that. I just didn’t know it extended to quiz bowls and softball in addition to blow jobs and breaking and entering places to give blow jobs.

Dean 12:52 What the fuck is wrong with you I’m in school! My lunch hour is almost over I’ll have to get up from my desk very soon This is all your fault

Castiel 12:59 :)

Dean 1:00 Just for that No blow jobs for you tonight

Castiel 1:07 :(

MONDAY, APRIL 6th

Dean 11:55 I bet I can grade more midterms than you today

Castiel 11:58 I know better than to make bets with you, Dean Winchester.

Dean 12:03 It was just a kiss I bet you’re just pissed you lost

Castiel 12:04 I can’t engage in PDA in front of my niece and one of my students at a school event!

Dean 12:04 Youre such a prude

Castiel 12:06 Unlike some teachers, I maintain boundaries between my personal and professional life.

Dean 12:07 Prude.

Castiel 12:09 Did you text me on a Monday afternoon just to harass me about my reluctance to kiss my boyfriend in front of minors?

Dean 12:11 Huh Boyfriend

Castiel 12:20 Dean?

Dean 12:21 What?

Castiel 12:22 Is everything okay?

Dean 12:23 Other than *my boyfriend* refusing to even entertain the idea of a friendly wager?

Castiel 12:23 Yes, other than that.

Dean 12:23 No

Castiel 12:25 That’s good. You scared me for a second.

Dean 12:26 I did?

Castiel 12:26 Are you okay with being my boyfriend? The long gap between our messages made me realize we haven’t talked about it before.

Dean 12:27 I mean it’s a little weird My 16 year old students have boyfriends “boyfriend” seems a little I don’t know Juvenile We’re not 16 anymore, Cas Thank god.

Castiel 12:30 Would you prefer “partner”?

Castiel 12:31 It’s just whenever I hear someone call their significant other “partner” I can never tell if they are talking about their life partner, same-sex partner, police partner, or if they are cowboys. That was a joke! Ignore this. I remember how much you like Westerns. “Partners” is off the table.

Dean 12:31 HOWDY YALL THIS IS MY PARTNER CAS

Castiel 12:31 Please never introduce me to someone like this.

Dean 12:32 Only if you watch Tombstone with me tonight

Castiel 12:33 Can I still grade my midterms?

Dean 12:35 You’re killing me here Cas Yes

Castiel 12:40 I’m your huckleberry

SUNDAY, APRIL 12th

Castiel 2:19 Good luck with the softball game today!

Dean 2:21 You’d better make it up for me for missing this one Its the semifinals

Castiel 2:22 I will. Say “hi” to Claire for me.

Dean 2:27 What the hell? Why is she here? We’re not even playing Carver

Castiel 2:29 She has a crush on Kaia Nieves

Dean 2:30 Ohhhhh That explains a lot

Castiel 2:30 She thinks she’s being subtle.

Dean 2:37 I see that runs in the family Subtle as a brick wall. All of you.

Castiel 2:38 Excuse me, you had no idea about my feelings for you back in high school.

Dean 2:49 So? Charlie said you were obvious as fuck But it didn’t matter since I was a dumbass

Castiel 2:50 I prefer oblivious Less dumb Less ass

Dean 2:57 How dare you My ass is a goddamn gift. You take that back right now

Castiel 2:59 Of course. Don’t you have a game to coach?

Dean 3:01 Shit you’re right

TUESDAY, APRIL 14th

Castiel 11:18 I know how I can make up for missing that last softball game last weekend

Dean 12:01 Sorry The kids called me out for texting you 5 mins before the bell last time How the hell did i get stuck with a class full of narcs

Castiel 12:03 It’s probably karma For all the rule breaking you did in school

Dean 12:05 Hey I wasn’t that bad

Castiel 12:05 You frequently defaced school desks and returned library books after their due date.

Dean 12:06 I’m dating a narc too???

Castiel 12:07 You didn’t ask what I have planned.

Dean 12:07 OK i’ll bite What do you have planned babe? Please tell me it’s not another documentary on bees That was depressing The grand canyon one was cool though

Castiel 12:10 Speaking of narcs

Dean 12:10 This doesn’t sound good

Castiel 12:11 When I had to get my extra copy of Camus from my car, I stumbled on Miriam at the edge of the parking lot with a few more students. They were skipping class and smoking marijuana. Naturally, I reported them to the administration.

Dean 12:13 Not helping your not-a-narc case

Castiel 12:13 They received detention for skipping class.

Dean 12:13 And the drugs?

Castiel 12:13 I may have neglected to report the drug use.

Dean 12:14 Seriously?

Castiel 12:14 I still confiscated it. Research evidence shows marijuana has negative effects on the developing brain.

Dean 12:14 I guess that’s fair

Dean 12:15 Hang on Do you still have it? OUR brains are old as balls Seriously, are you telling me you have weed now?

Castiel 12:15 Surprise? I can throw it out if you’d prefer to do something else tonight.

Dean 12:15 Dont you dare!!! I’m going to get a six pack on the way home, download the last Star Wars, and we’re gonna do this right Your place or mine?

Castiel 12:16 I have been neglecting laundry lately. Yours?

Dean 12:16 You’re on This is going to be so awesome

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15th

Dean 12:06 Did you really mean to invite me to dinner with your brother?

Castiel 12:09 I didn’t mean to bring it up when we were high, but the invitation still stands. Claire told him we were together. He wants to meet you.

Dean 12:11 Oh

Castiel 12:11 You do not have to say yes.

Dean 12:13 I’ll go It just took me by surprise

Castiel 12:13 I don’t want to pressure you.

Dean 12:14 Youre not pressuring me

Castiel 12:14 Are you sure?

Dean 12:16 Look, I just know your relationship with your brother is complicated And I don’t want to stick my foot in it By accident or some other way

Castiel 12:20 We’re in a better place than I’d like to admit. I spent a long time resenting Jimmy for the time he had with Father. But it wasn’t his fault Father was a bastard who had a second family he preferred to be with. Jimmy was barely in middle school when Father started going on his “business trips”

Dean 12:21 Jesus christ You told me bit about it back in high school But I didn’t realize it was a second family situation

Castiel 12:21 Mother kept it from us for years. I still haven’t forgiven her for it.

Dean 12:21 Are you OK?

Castiel 12:22 I’m fine. It was a long time ago.

Dean 12:22 That stuff takes a long time to get over.

Castiel 12:22 I suppose.

Dean 12:23 Is it okay if you stay at mine tonight?

Castiel 12:24 Our next date isn’t until Friday

Dean 12:24 I don’t want to wait until Friday to see you

Castiel 12:27 Can you pick me up at Carver at 4pm?

Dean 12:27 You got it More time with you and my baby Win-win!

FRIDAY, APRIL 24th

Dean 11:51 Are you sure what I usually wear to school is OK?

Castiel 11:53 You texted me nine minutes early?

Dean 11:53 Shut up I had to bribe my kids For NINE extra minutes Friggin tyrants

Castiel 11:54 What did they extort from you?

Dean 11:54 I promised to throw out their lowest pop quiz grade

Castiel 11:54 That isn’t too bad.

Dean 11:54 I was already planning on doing it

Castiel 11:55 Clever of you.

Dean 11:56 You’re not just dating a pretty face But getting back to dinner with your brother Is a regular button up OK? The tie hides most of the sloppy joe stain

Castiel 11:56 I’m sure you look very handsome

Dean 11:57 I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not

Castiel 11:57 I rarely manage sarcasm in-person. What makes you think I would attempt it over text?

Dean 11:58 Good point

Castiel 11:58 You’re a very good-looking man, Dean. I’ve known this since we were 15.

Dean 11:59 Stop it you’re making me blush

Castiel 12:01 It’s the truth.

Dean 12:04 Alright, alright I’m already sleeping with you No need to butter me up

Dean 12:05 It’s just I remember how you used to talk about him The perfect big brother

Castiel 12:07 More like the perfect student and perfect son. Jimmy was honestly too busy to be much of a brother. The 11 year age difference didn’t help. When I was in high school, he already had the perfect nuclear family on the way.

Dean 12:07 Exactly

Castiel 12:08 Exactly what?

Dean 12:08 You’re lucky I know you And I know you’re not drawing this out on purpose Look, i want to make a good impression, OK? he seems like a hard guy to please.

Castiel 12:09 I That’s very admirable of you, but it’s entirely unnecessary.

Dean 12:10 He’s your family

Castiel 12:11 And I understand family is very important to you, but it isn’t the same with me. It would be very nice if dinner goes well, but if it does not, I will not care in the slightest.

Dean 12:11 Really?

Castiel 12:11 Truly.

SATURDAY, APRIL 25th

11:16 I’m sorry for my dad.

Dean 11:17 Who is this?

11:20 Claire Novak

Dean 11:21 How did you get this number?

Claire 11:23 Alex Jones

Dean 11:24 How did Alex get my number???

Claire 11:24 It was on the softball permission forms How did you not know this Didn’t you draft them?

Dean 11:25 It’s been a while I’m a very busy man

Claire 11:25 Sure. Anyway, my dad was a dick. Totally out of line last night

Dean 11:26 Shouldn’t you be texting Cas about this?

Claire 11:26 I don’t have his number

Dean 11:26 Cas wasn’t kidding when he said you guys weren’t close

Claire 11:27 Nope.

Dean 11:27 Well I am very close with my brother He’s a lawyer out in California

Claire 11:27 Good for you???

Dean 11:29 It doesn’t sit right with me that Cas doesn't have a real relationship with his family

Claire 11:31 That seems like Uncle Castiels business

Dean 11:33 But Jimmy isn’t Cas’s only family SO if you ever need a place to crash, i’m always available

Claire 11:35 Maybe my dad was right And you’re secretly a perv I’m not staying with you you freak

Dean 11:35 Jesus christ, I’m trying to say, if ALEX isn’t the only girl on Edlund's softball team you’re getting buddy-buddy with, it’s fine You should get a chance to explore that part of being a teenager While STAYING SAFE But don’t let your parents stand in the way of that side of your life

Claire 11:41 Dad wouldn’t kick me out

Dean 11:42 Maybe not. But if you are at all uncomfortable, just give cas a call I’ll forward you his contact info now

“I might have told Claire she’s always welcome at my place if she comes out to her parents,” Dean says as he pockets his phone. He turns his back on the pile of sparkling clean dishes drying on the rack by Cas's sink. Dean adds, “Hopefully she’ll ask you before she goes to me.”

They hadn't really discussed the disaster of a dinner with Jimmy and Claire. A few tense words on the drive back to Cas's house, a tacit acknowledgement in the morning not to mention it until after coffee and breakfast. But then Cas brought out his homework for the weekend, even while last night's argument scratches at the back of his mind like a fly trapped in a windowless room. So Dean did the dishes and texted Claire.

Cas looks up from his juniors’ final exams. “You were talking to Claire?”

“She texted me first,” Dean says defensively.

Cas sighs and caps his pen. It’s blue, because red pen, according to Cas, is too traumatizing a grading implement. “I’m very sorry about last night.”

Dean waves his apology off. “You warned me it could go sideways.”

Cas’s brow furrows. “Still,” he says slowly, “I told my mother and Jimmy I was gay a few years ago. I think it was easy for them to ignore it as long as I didn’t have a boyfriend in the picture.”

Dean fiddles with a dishrag as he hovers by the sink. “Was Jimmy a jackass to your other boyfriends?”

“What others?” Cas asks wryly. “None of them were ever serious enough to pique Jimmy’s interest.”

“Really?”

Cas nods and gestures for Dean to take a seat at the kitchen table next to him. He holds out his hand, which Dean takes, bemused. “I don’t know why Jimmy thought religion was an appropriate introductory dinner topic. I could tell he was trying to genuinely understand our… lifestyle, to use his word, but-”

“I got angry,” Dean says looking down at their clasped hands.

“You didn’t say anything I wasn't thinking,” Cas says simply. “I’m glad you reached out to Claire.”

“It seems like she needed it.”

“She doesn’t have a lot of adults in her life she can rely on to be in her corner,” Cas says diplomatically. “I’ve tried, over the years, but I can’t relate to her at all.”

Dean laughs. “Of course not. Teenage rebellion wasn’t really your style.”

“Ah yes, of course,” Cas says, his voice dry as chalk, “you’d be the perfect person to talk to her. The cool kids speak their own language. How could I forget?”

Dean smirks. “It’s full of references you don’t get.”

“Don’t remind me,” Cas says darkly.

Dean leans in for a kiss. Eyes dancing, as he whispers, “Relax, babe. You were always the coolest kid in school to me."

#destiel #destiel fanfic #fanfic #teacher castiel #teacher dean #established relationship #fluff #text fic #the story of us verse #profoundnet #rae writes fic

39 notes · View notes

auroralightsthesky · 3 years

Text

Ray Person x OC Headcannons that have been simmering in my head for a week

Ray met Vanessa after the guys got back from a tour overseas

They were visiting a wounded friend who had been shipped off to a vets’ hospital in Mississippi. Brad, Poke, Ray and Walt had driven all the way from the airport to go and visit him

Poke made some remark about a good lookin girl at the front desk

He wasn’t kidding either!!! Ray almost had a friggin heart attack when he saw her

So they got to talking

Turns out she was also there to visit a brother who had been wounded in Afghanistan. Ray got to meet him

“Yo can I like.....give you my number?”

Vanessa thought he sounded like a dork but she said yes and gave him hers

They talked whenever they could. He tried to text her that night, but forgot that he was driving until he saw blue lights in the rear windows

He pulled over and the state trooper spoke to him, letting him off with a warning

Later that night when he called her, he told her the whole story

“Yeah babe I got pulled over by a statie that creepily looked alot like Terry Crewes”

When he heard her laughing he thought she was nuts. “Why the fuck are you laughing?”

“Cause that Terry Crewes look-alike was my Dad.”

Ray almost shit himself when he found out

Later on they started dating and Ray met her whole family. Her family is HUGE

Four brothers, three sisters, four sisters-in-law, three brothers-in-law and multiple nieces and nephews all living in close proximity to one another

Her oldest brother Alex is a Marine, the younger three, Reggie, Michael and Devante are all police officers like their dad

Ray and Vanessa’s brothers hit it off right away although the antics got a bit crazy when Devante accidentally cuffed him to the bed as a prank

Ray was surprised to learn that not only was her grandfather a police chief back in the 50s, but that her grandfather was also a Tuskegee Airman

They dated for about two years until Ray finally popped the question

Her sisters and sisters-in-law were screaming when she said yes

They told the rest of Ray’s buddies, Brad was the first to say congrats

He shipped out for one more tour that lasted for 6 months but he stepped off the plane to see the entire Jackson clan waiting for him at the airport

Ray and Vanessa got married that summer all the guys wore their dress blues to the wedding

Vanessa wore her grandmother’s wedding dress from 1946!!

Shortly after, Ray got a position as a civilian instructor at one of the bases

Life calmed down significantly for the two of them but a string of good luck followed in their wake

Their family grew too. Their kids are absolute TERRORS when they get together with Brad’s kids

Life has had its ups and downs

But it’s a good life nonetheless

It has its good days and bad

But Ray and Vanessa wouldn’t trade it for the world

#generation kill #hbo war #hbo war headcannons #josh ray person #original femal character #original family characters #ray x oc #generation kill headcannons

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katahnisharma · 6 years

Text

Rescue | P.P

Summary: You and Peter get an unexpected visitor and have to call for backup

Word Count: 1.5K lmaooo this is long

Requested by the lovely @holland-haven

So you were kind of terrified of bugs

Actually, scratch that, you were scared of crawling things in general

It’s not like they filled you with rage or anything, you just generally freaked TF out every time you saw them

Which was a lot because living in the city meant you had to deal with them every so often

And Peter?

Well, he knows this by now since the two of you had been dating for a couple of months

And he can never believe how lucky he is that you agreed to be his girlfriend bc he falls more in love with you everyday

The way you always support him and always laugh at his dumb jokes

How your eyes light up whenever you see him and the way you kiss him, with your hands in his hair

Peter was truly and madly whipped for you

And so were you, you loved everything about the adorably sweet boy

So he was always either at your house, or you were at his

Just curled up together doing random couple things like eating candy and binge watching the tv shows you only watched together Or you’d do homework in each other’s rooms (with the door open so May could make sure you two weren’t ‘canoodling’ as she put it, even though peter was too embarrassed to admit you were the only one he wanted to to ‘canoodle’ with)

You’d be sitting cross legged on the bed, doing your Pre Calc while Peter would have his head in your lap, doing Chemistry problems

If he was being super distracting by trying to make you laugh with his stupidly cute face or tracing shapes on your thighs, you’d stroke his hair to pacify him

It was domestic bliss, and you two were just kids in love

And so it was just another one of those perfect nights with Peter at your house, binge watching Downton Abbey bc you made him try a period drama for once

And boy was he hooked, he absolutely loved it

Peter had teased you ever since he found out how much you loved them, and after you watched one when he came over, he couldn’t get enough of them

“Wait, babe, did Lady Edith set her room on fire on purpose or did someone else?”

“I don’t get why Lady Mary doesn’t just marry that Anthony guy. He seems perfect. I mean I‘d marry him.”

You nearly choked on your water bc you laughed so hard

Which made him laugh and try and kiss you to stop you from crying with laughter

So one night, both of you were in the middle of a particularly tense episode when Peter leant over and kissed your cheek.

“I’m going to get something from my bag. Fill me in when I get back.”

You nodded and smiled at him while he went to the living room to get his bag

The dinner scene with Lord Grantham and the schoolteacher friend of his son-in-law was getting so heated that your eyes barely moved from your laptop screen

Until from the corner of your eye, you caught sight of something that made your skin crawl and a whimper build up in your throatIt was the biggest freaking gecko you’d ever seen in your life

And it was right above your backpack“Oh my god, oh my god!” You yelled, shutting the laptop and practically flinging yourself onto the headboard

From the living room, you heard a thud and shuffle of feet as Peter ran back to your room

“Y/N?! What’s wrong? What happened??” he cried, standing in the doorway in his spiderman suit

You would have laughed at the ridiculousness of Peter in his spidey suit the minute you screamed, if you weren’t so FREAKING TERRIFIED

“Peter, peter save me!! There’s a huge gecko and it’s going to kill me!!” Peter’s jaw dropped and he looked around frantically

“Wait, oh my god, where??”

“Right there, in front of you Pete, it’s getting closer oh my god please help meee”

Peter looked at where you were pointing

And you swear his face went blank and stark white (haha get it stark?? okay shut up now that’s enough soph)

“Mother of- it’s near my laptop!! Y/N get it off get it off!!” he yelled, when the little creature turned its head to look at him

And that’s when he snapped

“Me?! Peter you know how scared-“

But you didn’t finish bc Peter had leapt across the entire fucking room and crash landed on top of you glued to the headboard

“What the- Peter you’re crushing me!” you cried, trying to shift away but he was attached to you

“Oh my god oh my god it looked at me, Y/N it actually looked at me! I want to scrub my eyes out!!” he whimpered, clutching onto your waist for dear life

“Wait a minute, don’t tell me you’re scared of them too!” You hissed

Peter looked up at you and cringed

“Okay, maybe just a little bit? I’m still tough though I swear!”

You rolled your eyes and put a hand to your mouth

“Well sure that’s fine Peter, BUT WHO’S GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THAT THING IF WE’RE BOTH TERRIFIED?!” you yelled, trying to melt into the wall behind you

Peter just looked at you

And it was like it dawned on him

THAT IF NEITHER OF YOU WERE GOING TO TOUCH THAT THING

LET ALONE GET NEAR IT

WHO THE HECK WAS GOING TO GET RID OF IT?

“Oh shi-”

“Peter oh my god it’s just you and me at home!!”

You both looked at each other immediately

“WE’RE HOME ALONE WITH A KILLER GECKO!!!” (look ally i used your line and I HATE MYSELF FOR WRITING THIS AND SPENDING SO MUCH TIME ON IT WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME)

By this point

The two of you were done

You both sat on the bed, peter holding you and you burying your head in his chest while you both panicked and tried to think of a solution

That’s when a brilliant idea dawned on Peter

“Y/N I know what to do, I know how to save us!”

“Oh god this sounds a little-“

Peter shushed you

“Just listen first, I’m going to call Tony and Pepper since May is out of town. One of them will come and help.”

You put your head in your hands

You had yet to meet Pepper and Tony, since Peter wanted to officially introduce you over dinner in two days time

AND NOW YOU WERE GOING TO MEET THEM EARLY

HAVING A PANIC ATTACK OVER A STUPID GECKO

“Peter noooo, oh my god, I don’t want to meet them like this! I don’t want them to see me like this!!”

“Okay yes, this isn’t the absolute best meetup Y/N, but what else do we do? Neither of us are going near that thing, and I won’t let you anyway!”

You were still freaking out, but the last part of what Peter said made you melt a little

“Awwww, you said-”

“Not the time, Y/N, you can gush later babe!”

That snapped you out of it

“Right, right. You got your phone or is it in your bag?”

“Got it right here, good thing I didn’t leave my bag in here.”

As Peter scrolled through his contacts (not many since he always reminded you that he kept only a couple) you smiled when you noticed that right after May and you, Tony and Pepper were on speed dial

“That’s so cute, you have me on speed dial? I do too!” you laughed, pulling Peter into a side hug

Peter blushed and kissed your forehead

“Yeah, gotta have my girlfriend in there. Don’t tell Ned.” he laughed

Peter hit Tony’s number while you bit your lip nervously

“Uh Mr. Stark? It’s Peter. Oh wait, you already knew that. Shoot.”

Peter facepalmed and groaned, while you tried to stop from giggling

“Yeah I know it’s you Pete. What’s up, I thought you were staying over at your girlfriend’s tonight?”

“I am, but we have a small problem. There’s a gecko in the room and we don’t know what to do, it’s just us home.”

There was silence on the other end

“You’re home alone? That’s not very smart is it, don’t want any little Peters appearing all of a sudden.”

Peter gasped and went bright red while you turned scarlet

“Mr. Stark oh my god!” Peter sputtered, hiding his face in his hands for a second time

“Joking, kid! But I’ll hang up now, Pepper and I are on the way.”

When the call ended, a burning red Peter turned to look you in the eyes

“Well, that was interesting?” you offered

Peter smiled relieved “Oh thank goodness I thought you’d think I was weird or something!”

You grinned at him brightly and leaned forward

“If I thought you were ever weird, it would only be because you like pineapple on pizza, Pete. No other reason could ever make me think that!” you said kissing him softly

Peter smiled adoringly and stroked your cheek before kissing you again

“I love you my amazing girlfriend.”

You giggled and pressed another sweet kiss to his hands

“I love you more Peter. Let’s go wait outside for the rescue team, yeah?”

Taglist: @quillys @peters-vlogs @notimeforthemessenger @toms-order @darling-parker @tomhollandandmarvelsworld @tomsfireheart @buckychrist @rainbow-marvel @bookishpeter @starkravingparker @okoyesbabe @thwiparkers @cutiehollands @tomhollandxreader @inlovewithmob-tom @veronicas-littleworld @da5haexowin @cottoncandyparker @sergeantbxrnxs @generalokoiye @beautiful-holland @itsholyholland @ghostlywade @underoosstark @i-dont-wanna-go-mr-stark @sholla4-314 @stormyholland @letscupcakequeen14 @let-me-luve-you @smexylemony @roses-and-sweaters @musicgirl234 @its-livelovelife @steve-thotgers @tiny-friggin-human @rvmanova @blueberry-butterscotch @keylla-dunspeh @lucille-lovely @tohollandback @yeahbutmarvel @mischiefmanaged49 @petalparker @lokiislowkeyhot @spideymood @yoharryyouawizard @tomhollanders2013 @holland-haven @letthembehappymcu @jnej @spiderman-n @positiveparker @ghostiebois @underoospeter @treegelbman @winterssoldierrs @heycreehere @marvel-language @sdrecsfics @doimakeitthroughthenight @wronglanemendes @brokensimpson @greekdemigodwannabe

Headcannons: @richiethotzierz @lemondropirwin

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dearlazerbunny · 6 years

Text

Fever Dreams

Pairings: Poe x Reader

Genre/Ratings: None

Words: 1700

Summary: A loooooong time ago one of my favorite followers asked for a sick reader/Poe story, and this has been sitting on my computer unfinished for too long and I’m sick of looking at it so here it is! 😂

Coming home was always a huge sigh of relief, even from a routine run such as this. As you extended your landing gear, you couldn’t help the little flare of warmth that expanded in your chest. Home. Rest, probably; Leia was good at not running your team too hard too many times in a row. You remove your helmet and run a hand over your sweaty forehead as your X-Wing shudders to a stop on the tarmac. Another successful mission. You had to smile a bit. Your squadron of newbies and try-hards was coming along quite nicely, and from the looks of the gathering crowd below you, everyone else was seeing it too.

Cheers erupted as your cockpit opened and mechanics ran over to help you out and run checks over your ship. Medics were standing by, but you waved them off. This had been a clean run, the only problems you’d had were a few members overheating a bit from the humid jungle climate and some sunburned scalps. Nothing a good dose of water and aloe couldn’t solve.

“Hey there!” Lost in thought, you hadn’t noticed your boyfriend sneaking up behind you, grabbing your waist and pulling you into a hug. “Congrats, Miss team leader. Another run under your belt!”

“Poe, stop it!” You giggle despite yourself as he kisses you on the cheek. “It was a friggin drop off on a resistance-controlled planet. Hardly a daring mission.”

“Still. Proud of you, babe.”

“Thanks.” You smile at him, lightly booping his nose with yours, before pulling away and tugging at the sleeves of your orange jumpsuit. “I’ve gotta get out of this thing, I’m burning up.”

He wiggles his eyebrows. “Is that an invitation?”

“Oh for god’s sake, we are in public, Poe!” You glance over at General Leia, who was talking to some of your other recruits on the side. Proudly, based on the look on her face. “Besides, it depends on what Leia has in mind. We might be going back out-”

“Oh no you’re not.” Poe grins in that way that makes your heart drop. “I’ve already talked to her, both our squadrons are cleared for leave for the weekend.”

“In that case-” you make sure no one is looking too closely before whispering into his ear- “that is absolutely an invitation.”

…

Moonlight is streaming through the window when you wake in the middle of the night, bedsheets and a still naked Poe wrapped around you like beautiful poems. You have to push the covers away though, because for some reason you’re still insanely warm. You look around for your pajamas and slip them on without waking your softly snoring bedpartner, making your way to the bathroom. Splash some water on your face. Feel your forehead. Definitely hot. And a little nauseous? Weird. You were up to date on all your birth control, so god knows it wasn’t that. All of a sudden, you feel woozy, and you sit on the edge of the small shower, palm to your forehead. Everything aches. How hand you not noticed this before? Maybe that landing was harder than you thought.

You sit there, just trying to breathe, when an overwhelming sense of anxiety pours through you. Something was wrong. You could just feel it. Your heart was beating way too fast, there was sweat pouring off of you, and the pit in your stomach seems to deepen every second you sit there. As you open your mouth to call for Poe, all you manage to choke out is a handful of blood, splattered across your hand in bright red fury. You stare at it, feeling it drip through your fingers.

“P-Poe? Poe!” You cough some more, feeling the nastiness rise up in your throat.

When he finally gets to the bathroom door, he finds you curled up on the bathroom floor, shirt stained red and trembling against the cold tile.

“Oh my god, sweetheart, what’s wrong? Is that blood? We need to get you to medical, come on, up you go-” you try to stand but collapse under your own weight, knees hitting the floor hard. You clutch his hands for strength as you land, desperately trying to hold on to something as the world spirals from underneath you.

“Something’s wrong,” you whisper wide-eyed, swimming in red. Then you close your eyes, and you don’t see anything anymore.

…

The next time Poe sees you after dragging your lifeless body out to the hallway, screaming for help, you’re hooked up to too many machines to count in medical. Pale as death, with clammy hands and a fever that won’t seem to break. He grabs your hand from underneath the tightly wrapped blankets and squeezes, promising in his head to never let go. How had things gone this wrong this fast?

“Dameron?” The doctor comes in, stone faced, and Poe can’t help but wince. There’s still some smears of your blood on his otherwise pristine white jacket.

“Doc. What happened? One minute she’s fine, and the next-”

“She has an incredible amount of internal swelling, including in her brain and spinal cord. We’re giving her steroids for the inflammation and a broad-spectrum antibiotic, but there’s no guarantee it’ll catch whatever is making her react like this.”

“I don’t understand.”

The doctor flips open your chart on his clipboard. “Has she travelled in the past thirty days?”

“Travelled? She’s a pilot, of course she’s travelled-”

“A fever of this severity, marked by the thinning of the blood and the swelling, seems to be consistent with a virus contracted on a jungle-based planet. Does that ring any bells?”

Poe pales. “Y-yes. She just got back this afternoon.”

“There’s your answer then.” Poe looks at him, shocked, and he softens his demeanor when he sees the terrified look in his eyes. “Look, it manifested early, and it doesn’t seem to be contagious. Those are good signs that point towards a recovery. We’re working to get the swelling down as quickly as possible. Otherwise-”

“Otherwise what.”

The doctor looks at you, noting the vital signs beeping on a machine at your bedside. “She’ll most likely be brain dead within 24 hours,” he sighs.

“No- no, that’s not possible! You have to help her, you have to-!”

“Dameron, get a hold of yourself!” The doctor places one hand on his shoulder. “We’re doing everything we can. Only time will tell now.”

Time seemed to be something you were quickly running out of.

…

Poe was making promises to god when you surfaced from a hazy dream. I promise I won’t be as reckless. I promise I’ll tell her I love her more. I promise-

“Poe?” your voice is thin and raspy, like you haven’t had a drink of water in days.

“Hey, sweetheart, I’m right here.” He moves closer to your bedside and squeezes your hand. “How are you feeling?”

Your eyebrows scrunch up. “Bad. Weird. I’m burning up.”

“You have a pretty high fever. The doctor is trying to break it.”

“Am I gonna die?”

Poe grimaces. “No, sweetheart. ‘Cause if you die I will personally revive you just to kill your ass again for leaving me.”

A small smile works its way across your face. “That’s… that’s good.”

“So don’t worry. Everything is going to work out just fine.”

You cough low in your chest, and Poe is quick to wipe your mouth with a tissue so the flecks of blood you spit up don’t freak you out any more than necessary. “Then why does everything hurt so bad?”

Poe sighs, gripping your hand even tighter. “It looks like you picked up something from the planet you visited. Nothing major, they’re keeping a good eye on you.”

“Nothing major?” You’re dizzy and not thinking straight, sure, but you can comprehend enough to know that all these IVs and machines and beeping things aren’t a good sign. “Poe, just give it to me straight.”

He stalls. “I don’t want to scare you.” Those few words make your heart drop, but you look him dead in the eye and stay there until he sighs. “They told me internal swelling of the brain and spinal cord.”

“Oh.” You’re quiet for a moment, not sure how to process that. “That’s bad, right?”

“We have about-” he glances up at the clock- “sixteen more hours to see just how bad.”

“Sixteen hours.” For some reason, that round number is a comfort. “I just have to make it through the next sixteen hours.”

Poe smiles a little at that, such a determined stance spoken at such a sickly whisper. “That’s right, sweetheart. I know you can do it.”

You eye him frantically as you begin to feel yourself slipping away. “Don’t leave me.”

“Not in a million years.”

…

Those next sixteen hours are some of the worst of your life. You float in and out of consciousness, plagued by strange dreams and hallucinations. You sweat out fluids as fast as they can pump them in you. Despite your 103 temperature, you shiver so hard your teeth clang together like bells, and you have more blankets draped over you than the entire base has on their beds.

But the whole time, Poe is there to hold your hand, and murmur comforting words no matter if you’re awake to hear them or not. He refuses to leave your side to eat or sleep. You’re all that matters, and he wants to be the first one there when your fever breaks.

Which it does, eventually and slowly. Ticking down by degrees over hours, but you eventually stop shivering. Your hand becomes less clammy as he interlocks your fingers together even tighter. You’re able to open your eyes, and even smile at him, which feels like the sun coming out after a hurricane.

“Hey.”

“Hey there.” Poe sits forward in his chair, brushing a piece of hair off of your forehead. “How do you feel.”

“Like I can breathe again.” Frowning, you paw at the layers piled on top of you. “Can you move these?”

“Gladly.” He returns to his seat once they’re piled on the floor at the foot of the bed.

You lay back onto the pillows, exhausted from that small amount of effort, and sigh. “I guess I’m gonna be okay, huh?”

Poe smiles. “You sure as hell are. Sorry, can’t get away from me that easily.”

“It was so hard,” you whisper. “It would have been so easy to just slip away. I could feel it…”

That sobers him, and he brings your hand up to his lips to kiss. “But you didn’t. You’re here, that’s all that matters.”

You smile. “With you.”

He smiles back. “Always.”

#star wars #Star Wars fanfic #poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x you #reader insert

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daebakinc · 6 years

Note

sehun for number 12 on the 10th writing prompt "oh no. please stop. im so scared." please? Thank you!

Your body is past its breaking point. Only sheer will drives you tocontinue. You need this. You deserve that ecstasy you chase and it’s almostwithin reach now. The scream of muscles in protest have faded into numbtrembling. Up and down, up and down. Sweat dribbles in thick rivers down yourforehead, your heaving chest that struggles to draw breath into exhausted lungs.

“Come on,” you mutter, making yourself go faster. “Come on.”

One last push and you’re there, a blessed high unlike any you haveexperienced before. Pure euphoria floods every molecule of your body in ablessed high unlike any you have ever experienced. With a satisfied moan, youflop over onto your back, absolutely limp.

“That,” you slowly turn your head to the side with a lopsided grin, “wasfriggin’ awesome.”

Your personal trainer laughs and tosses you a towel to wipe away the sweatgetting in your eyes. “I agree. You should be very proud of yourself. Fiftypush-ups. That’s a great improvement from when you began.”

“You mean when I could barely complete a modified one?” Pushing yourselfup to sitting, you drop the towel and grab your water bottle to take a longswig instead. “Who knew exercise could actually feel good?”

Your trainer points a finger at herself with a sardonic glint in her eye.“Well, the person who made it her job did kind of mention it when you started.And you laughed at me, as I recall.”

“I thought the whole ‘runner’s high’ was a motivator they used to try toget kids to join the high school track team. But, hey, they were right.”

“Sehun!” you call the second you walk through the door, still flushed withvictory. You drop your gym bag and stride into the kitchen. “Sehun?”

“In here.” His voice comes from the living room, where you find him lyingon the couch with his eyes closed.

“Hi, babe. Guess what?” You collapse on top of him, making him grunt, andwind your arms around his neck.

Sehun still doesn’t open his eyes. He only returns the favor by wrappinghis arms around you and nuzzling your shoulder. “You smell really nice, so youtook a shower.”

“I did, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Guess again.”

“You… went to the gym. These are your gym clothes.”

You press a smacking kiss to his forehead, at last succeeding in gettinghim to look at you. “No. Alright, I’ll just tell you. I- wait, no. I’ll dobetter: I’ll show you. Arm wrestle me.”

“Arm wrestle you,” he repeats, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

“Yes. Arm wrestle. Me and you. Right now.” You hop off him and run aroundthe other side of the coffee table, propping your elbow up on it, and look athim expectantly.

Sehun slides his long body off the couch and settles down on the otherside to grasp your hand. When you teasingly jerk his hand with a devilish grin,he deadpans, “Oh, no. Please, stop. I’m scared.”

“Ha ha,” you retort. “This isn’t going to be like last time. Ready, set,go!”

Sehun’s face quickly shifts from detached amusement to surprise togenuine concentration as your arms wiggle back and forth. A wrinkle appears betweenhis eyes with the realization this isn’t going to be an easy win. His griptightens, biceps straining against skin.

You wish you could appreciate the view, but you’re horrible about wantingto win. With a burst of effort, you end the teeter-tottering and shove Sehun’shand to the table.

Jumping up with a victorious crow, you start dancing around the livingroom. “Hell yes! Boo-ya!”

His mouth open with a flabbergasted expression, Sehun’s eyes dart betweenhis hand and yours. “What just happened? When did you get strong?”

“I’ve been training,” you reply smugly, flexing your bicep. “I did fiftypush-ups today.”

“Well, I can do sixty.” Sehun tries to hide his pout as he gestures atyou and puts his arm back into position. “Get back down here and we’ll do arematch.”

#sehun #exo #sehun scenario #exo senarios #exo sehun #sehun drabble #exo drabble #exo drabbles

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it-refused · 7 years

Text

@undyne-appreciation week, day 6: Cherish this fish!!! (make whatever you want)

Rating: G

Summary: It’s the morning before Undyne and Alphys’ very first anime con. Alphys is having trouble with one of the costumes, and Undyne is determined to save the day.

A/N: Thank you very much, @undyne-appreciation, for setting up this week! And thank you for all the sweet comments you left on the things I wrote!

Alphys was weeping on the floor. Her face was bright red, and her clawed hands were clenched into fists. She pushed up her glasses and pressed the fists against her eyelids, hard. "N-no...! Why did this...oh god why did this have to happen now? Why today?"

Cloth lay spread out on the floor next to her. Undyne couldn't help but notice the huge rip that hadn't been there a few minutes ago.

"I was almost done!"

Undyne walked over and patted her on the back. It sucked, because it was Undyne's costume she was putting the finishing touches on, but she had to take it well when Alphys was taking it so badly. "Hey, I've got some duct tape. We'll slap it back together in no time!"

"I worked for...for WEEKS on this! I'm not slapping it back to-together, like...no!" She knocked Undyne's hand away and stood up. "I'm going to finish this, this...d-damn costume even if it takes me the whole con to finish it!"

"Uh, wow! You're really passionate about this, Alphys!" Undyne said. She wondered if she was just going to end up taking Papyrus along while Alphys worked on the costumes alone.

"NOTHING'S taking this away from me!" Alphys started tearing through her sewing box. "Wh-what? Where's all my...oh. That's right. I used all the pink thread." She slumped down onto the floor, like she was a puppet and her strings had been cut. "I guess I'll just tape it."

"Hey! Don't give up, babe! I'll run to the store and grab some thread, and you work on the other stuff that needs to get done. We aren't giving up on this!"

"You'd do that?" There were tears in Alphys' eyes, again. She was friggin adorable.

"Yeah! Of course! Nothing's going to stop you!" Maybe she'd pick up breakfast, too. She wasn't sure Alphys had anything other than pocky or energy drinks for the last 24 hours.

Undyne ran out of the house and jumped in her car. She was at the craft store by the time she realized it was five in the morning and it wasn't going to be open. What the hell? What kind of loser ran that place? It was con day.

She drove until she found a big box store that was open 24 hours. She shot through the store over to the crafts section and stared in despair when she realized that they had two shades of pink, and neither of them were even close to right. She grabbed both of them, a box of donuts, and a gallon jug of soothing iced green tea, and rushed through buying to get back to her car.

But when she got there, she took the thread out and stared at it. Maybe she should text Alphys with some pictures to make sure she was ok with one of them before driving back. If she wasn't, maybe she could just sit in the parking lot of the craft store and polish off the donuts while she waited for it to open. At 8.

She called Papyrus, first. She knew he'd be awake. He answered after two rings and listened as she explained the situation.

"THIS BABY CARTOON EXPO YOU ARE GOING TO IS VERY IMPORTANT TO BOTH OF YOU!" Papyrus said. "I AM POSITIVE THE LITTLE CHILDREN WHO SEE YOU DRESSED UP WILL NOT MIND IF THE COSTUME IS NOT PERFECT. THEY ARE NOT DIFFICULT TO IMPRESS."

"I have no idea why I thought listening to you be COMPLETELY WRONG about anime would give me any new ideas!"

"I COMPLETELY RESPECT THAT YOU ARE GOING TO SPEND YOUR ENTIRE WEEKEND INSPIRING CHILDREN BY DRESSING UP AS THEIR FAVORITE CHARACTERS. I THINK SANS HAS SOME PINK THREAD IN HIS SEWING BOX, BUT--"

Undyne hung up the phone and raced out of the parking lot. It took less time for her to get to Papyrus' house than it did for them to wake Sans up enough to get him to unlock his bedroom door and give up the goods. She had yell that she had donuts before he would leave his room.

It was a little after six when Undyne made it home. She ran to the house with everything she had bought and acquired piled in her arms. She had to kick the door open. It was easy since she had a habit of doing that, and the door didn't really latch well anymore.

Alphys was sitting on the couch, carefully adjusting one of the ears attached to her wig. "Oh, hi, Undyne! Um, sorry about before. I'm ok, now. The tape worked ok. I don't think anyone will even notice?"

"...Alphys." Undyne opened up the bag from the store and flung one of the pink spools at her. "Alphys." She threw the other one, and then opened up Sans' sewing box. Papyrus had gone through a pink phase, and Sans had fifteen different shades of pink. She started methodically tossing them at Alphys.

"Th---Tha---um...sorry? Thank you?" Alphys covered her head as the thread kept coming.

"And eat your breakfast!" Undyne tossed one of the two donuts Sans had let her keep at Alphys' head. She opened up the tea and chugged it, herself.

"Ok, ok, oh my god!" Alphys laughed. Her good mood was completely returned. "I'm just so excited, and I don't want anything to go wrong."

"Stuff is going to go wrong! But we'll kick its ass until it's right again! Ok?"

"Ok. Got it." She patted the seat next to her.

Undyne sat down. "It's going to be amazing! I'm already pumped! You're having a nervous breakdown, you're so excited! I'm going to take ten million pictures of you looking freaking adorable!"

"And I'm going to take an even more unrealistic number of pictures of you looking really cool in your costume! Because it's con day and it's going to be amazing!"

They knocked their donuts together and Alphys started sorting through the thread.

#undyne appreciation week #undyne #alphyne #alphys #papyrus #brotp #sans #my fic #fanfic #prompts

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Buster & Rio

Buster: Sleep well? Rio: Not a wink Buster: Told you to come in here but won't say I told you so as well, like Rio: Still not convinced that's the great idea you're painting it as Rio: Anyway, had to keep an eye on 'em regardless of comfort Rio: Not so your stuff was safe, don't get it twisted Buster: Suit yourself Buster: They're asleep now, yeah? So coffee or tea? Rio: Like friggin' babes Rio: butter wouldn't melt, okay bitches Rio: You offering or you got staff for that? Rio: 😉 Buster: Capable of pressing a button Buster: Sorry to shatter your illusions Rio: Jokes, babe Rio: Coffee, though, tah Buster: Yeah, well, you weren't the only one kept up by the youngers Buster: Sense of humor is heavily tied to mood Rio: Aww, so grumpy Rio: thank your lucky stars you don't live with 'em Buster: Do you want butler service or do you want me to spit in this cup? Think on Rio: After being treated with an insight into your sexual health? Not taking my chances Rio: 😬🤐 Buster: Behave Rio: What can I say? Bed company I'm keeping Buster: I have no idea if you meant that or if it was a typo for bad Buster: Too tired to decode you right now Rio: No typos with these tired eyes Rio: Didn't fancy your 'rents finding any of us lounging on their sofas Buster: Well, as you can see, babe, not an issue Buster: Catch them doing the opposite at the office Rio: Foresight's a bitch Rio: and Indie kicks in her sleep Buster: Not too late to take me up on my offer Buster: Get your head down, they don't need watching now Rio: You started the coffee yet? Buster: All these fancy settings, takes me a while to figure them out, like Buster: Go Rio: Settles that then Buster: Catch you later Rio: You should Buster: Yeah Rio: Might cheer you up Buster: You wish, babe Buster: You ain't that good at handling people Rio: Yeah I am Rio: but shh, sleep now Buster: Pleasant dreams Rio: Backatcha Rio: [A nap later] Rio: You 'rents are back, sleepyhead Buster: Typical Buster: Get one of them to put the coffee back on then Rio: Debating waking them up and making it a party Rio: nothing having 'em running back to the office faster 😏 Buster: But we'd have to deal when they've gone Buster: Do you really fancy that? Rio: A fair point Rio: Get up then Rio: Me here making awkward small talk like they weren't shocked to see me omw to the loo Rio: Fair Buster: You're not selling it Buster: Reckon I'll stay here Rio: Don't be a prick! Rio: I'm dying Rio: they're your parents Buster: They know where my room is if they wanna act like it Rio: I'll let 'em know Rio: know you're alone and decent so Rio: as decent as you can be Buster: Cheers Rio: are they still asleep forreal? not heard nothing? Buster: 'Course Buster: No waking them Rio: Christ Rio: Good thing I didn't book us on an early back Buster: Not just a pretty face Rio: So charming Buster: I know Buster: You coming back or what? Rio: That wouldn't be weird to explain at all Buster: Bet mum and dad are already rushing around Buster: They'll be gone again soon Rio: Alright, know-all Buster: Like you said, I do live with them Rio: True Rio: Still Buster: Suit yourself, babe Buster: Did they make you coffee or just talk at you the whole time? Rio: They had time for coffee Rio: s'good Rio: you want? Buster: Yeah Rio: You coming down here or Buster: Bring it me Rio: Lazy Buster: Is that a yeah or a nah? Buster: Don't want it over my head, like Rio: Your bed was comfy so Rio: just this once Buster: Cheers Buster: Not the kind of compliment I'm used to waking up to but I'll take it Rio: Well, you kicked her out before she had the chance so Buster: She's got my number, she'll call back Rio: 1-800-GIMMESELFESTEEM Rio: Shaming Buster: You got all that from a perfume spritz and a glance as she passed, yeah? Buster: Very astute Rio: No, I'm saying, if she calls back, then its obvious what she needs Rio: and it ain't you Rio: and a spritz is generous for the bottle she showered in Buster: No if Buster: She'll be calling Buster: 'Cause yeah, it is obvious what she needs, you had that much right Rio: Disgusting Rio: You're obvious, that's for sure Buster: What's wrong with that? Rio: Nothing Rio: if you're fine with being basic then that's cool Buster: Fuck off Buster: Who do you think you are Rio: Touchy Buster: Nobody could blame me Buster: I've been proper nice to you Rio: Well, I was only joking Rio: You do need this coffee Buster: Not denying it Rio: I appreciate it, alright Rio: I'll wake 'em up and we'll be out of your hair Buster: I know Buster: I'm not saying you have to go Rio: s'alright Rio: can't commandeer Nance's room all weekend, lazy hoes Buster: Not like she needs it Buster: And we all need more sleep, wouldn't be such a moody cunt else, would I? Rio: True.. safe to say she wasn't vibing Brixton Jamm's hip-hop night, like Rio: Idk your life, boy 😏 Buster: Finally admitting you don't know everything, is it? Buster: You must be tired Rio: Not the same thing as admitting defeat Rio: just so you know Buster: 'Course Buster: When are you proper thinking of going back? Rio: as long as they're in school monday morning, we're sweet Rio: not that it'd be the first time either of 'em were a no-show but you know, promised Ma Buster: 😇 Buster: Where they dragging you tonight, so I can be prepped in case one of them does a runner again Rio: idk, we got as far in the plan as they wanted to go shopping today but Rio: doesn't seem likely now Buster: Did you wanna or you just the babysitter? Rio: never gonna turn down shopping Rio: but they wanna hit carnaby, camden, which ain't really my scene, nah Buster: Even you've got more taste than that, like Buster: If you wanna throw the word basic around throw it their way first Rio: Umm piss off 🖕 Rio: They're allowed to be tourists if they wanna, they are Buster: And I'm allowed to take the piss if I wanna, 'cause I ain't Rio: If you're looking to impress with your LDN knowledge, take the actual and become a cabbie Rio: Useful, if one of 'em does a bunk again Buster: Piss off yourself Buster: I've done my good turn Rio: Yeah, ride that one to Christmas, like Buster: As the only ride I got last night was to a shitty postcode, I will Buster: You heading to Italy for that coffee or what, like? Can't get the staff Rio: Poor baby rich boy Rio: I had to say bye to your parents Rio: One of us had to be polite Buster: Why? Rio: 'cos word travels fast in this fam Rio: can't be a bad guest Buster: Says you Buster: They didn't know you were a guest, so they won't be shouting any of this about Rio: Had thought you'd drop 'em a text at least when you said it was fine Buster: No fun in that though Rio: 🙄 Rio: Can't with you Buster: Can't what? Buster: Other than keep up, like Rio: Pah Rio: Who's still in bed? Buster: Don't play that you don't wanna be Buster: Proper cosy you were Rio: I already said Rio: comfy bed Buster: Yeah right Rio: What else? Buster: Not being kicked, of course, always an advantage Buster: And then there's how fucking good I look, and smell, despite the blonde's best efforts Rio: And with your rep, too Rio: 😂 reckon there's no room for me now you've moved your ego in Buster: You're tiny enough to make it work Rio: I'm not small Rio: you're freakishly large Buster: It's both, babe Buster: No saving your ego on that one Rio: 😾 Buster: You make it work too Rio: Cheers Rio: Your proportions aren't that circus freak, really Buster: I know Buster: No complaints here Rio: as if you're listening regardless Buster: Have a job not to hear, like Buster: Me and the neighbours Rio: 😷 Rio: Please Rio: too early for that Buster: Speaking of, I think one of 'em moving about up here Buster: You might get to shop after all Rio: Hooray Rio: Least they're definitely alive Buster: How long for is debatable, sounds like they're moving for Nance's en-suite with some speed Rio: 😑 Rio: can't take 'em anywhere Rio: really wanna spend tomorrow cleaning up the pig stye your making Rio: thanks lads Buster: The cleaner will deal Buster: All bants aside we've got one Rio: I will do it Rio: don't be stupid Buster: Don't be so stubborn Buster: I'll slip her some extra cash and she'll be buzzing Buster: Standard Rio: I'm not gonna just leave it but she can get it up to standard when I no doubt fail, yeah Buster: Now you're being stupid Rio: I am not Rio: this ain't a hotel Buster: You're a non-paying guest even more reason to leave it Buster: This is literally her job Rio: doesn't mean I've got to make it harder for her Rio: it's not a big deal Buster: You ain't Buster: Nance is literally the messiest person alive Buster: She won't bat an eyelid at those two Rio: Is it? Rio: You'd never know, Miss professional Rio: anyway Buster: She reckons it's a dyslexia thing Buster: Excuse if I ever heard one Rio: 😂 Rio: So mean Buster: Still true Rio: I'll give her chance to defend herself and expose you when I next see her Rio: s'all good Buster: 'Course Buster: I won't care I'll have died of thirst 'cause my coffee never came Rio: Drama 👑 Rio: surprised you ain't accused me of putting the silverware in my bag Buster: As much as I can bet your fam runs out all the fucking time, you can afford to replace it yourselves Buster: Hardly the poor relatives Rio: never stopped you playing the snobby one before though Buster: Ain't my fault I'm better than you, babe Rio: 🤢 Buster: And I'm the dramatic one, yeah? Rio: I'm not even, that is genuinely how offensive your little act is Buster: Says you Rio: Yeah Rio: You forgot who I am again? Buster: Nah, but you've forgotten me if you think all this is an act, like Rio: Whatever you say Buster: I know you hear me Rio: I dunno why you wanna be unlikeable Buster: I ain't Buster: Just not trying to attract you, babe Rio: Obviously Rio: but who are you Rio: girls as thoroughbred and long in the face as their ponies? Buster: Why do you care enough to ask the question? Rio: Nothing wrong with curiosity Buster: Nah, but you don't need to be curious about who I'm with or why Rio: I'm not Rio: I just wanna know what you're trying to achieve Buster: Nah, you wanna judge Buster: Already done without chatting about this Rio: And what, can't handle what you dish out? Buster: Fuck off Buster: I can handle you easily Rio: Sounds it Buster: I've proved myself enough to you for one weekend Buster: But go off Rio: Proven the opposite of what you're preaching Rio: hence the curiosity Rio: but forget it Buster: I get it, you're into me Buster: Get in line Rio: Now you're just being ridiculous Buster: Joining you in it, babe Rio: Whatever Rio: I'm going to get ready Buster: Cheers for the update Rio: 🖕 Buster: Sooner you're ready the sooner you can sort them and go Rio: Believe it or not, they're capable of doing that themselves Buster: Sounds like it from here Rio: If you wanna help and get 'em out quicker, point them in the direction of another bathroom, yeah? Buster: And have you call me out again, nah, you're alright Buster: Handle it yourself Rio: Oh my God Rio: fine Buster: Try and keep it down though, I'm going back to sleep

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thecruciblegavemeyou · 7 years

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I WOULD LOVE A LIST OF AMAZING SONGS asfghdgshsgek please

my babe… get ready. its gonna be LONG and also an ask has never made me so happy before

okay fyi some of these youve probably heard but they friggin belong on my list

also i suck with genres i sorted them by very generic genres and the groups i normally listen to them in bc i think the moods and styles fit

alternative… i think

parade | matchbox twenty

put your hands up | matchbox twenty

english town | matchbox twenty

how long? | matchbox twenty

radio | matchbox twenty

i believe in everything (bonus track) | matchbox twenty

unwell | matchbox twenty

real world | matchbox twenty

3 am | matchbox twenty

push | matchbox twenty

run-around | blues traveler

superman (its not easy) | five for fighting

100 years | five for fighting

iris | the goo goo dolls

dizzy | the goo goo dolls

californication | red hot chili peppers

dani california | red hot chili peppers

breaking the girl | red hot chili peppers

hump de bump | red hot chili peppers (if you havent heard this please do. for the laughs)

(for more laughs: the motorcycle song | arlo guthrie)

hard to concentrate | red hot chili peppers

animal bar | red hot chili peppers

storm in a teacup | red hot chili peppers

when im gone | 3 doors down

away from the sun | 3 doors down

here without you | 3 doors down

changes | 3 doors down

the road im on | 3 doors down

sunset in july | 311

weightless | 311

my classics, my loves

my life | billy joel

big shot | billy joel

you may be right | billy joel

its still rock and roll to me | billy joel

dont ask me why | billy joel

tell her about it | billy joel

uptown girl | billy joel

the longest time | billy joel

youre only human | billy joel

the whole an innocent man album | billy joel

we didnt start the fire | billy joel (fuck off i love this song)

downeaster “alexa” | billy joel

thats not her style | billy joel

the whole boston album by boston

come on eileen | dexy’s midnight runners

dont shoot shotgun | def leppard

new york minute (live) | the eagles

take it easy (live) | the eagles

desperado (live) | the eagles

tequilla sunrise (live) | the eagles

hotel california (LIVE OH MY GOD LIVE) | the eagles

think im in love | eddie money

lovin touchin squeezin | journey

ask the lonely | journey

only the young | journey

stone in love | journey

suzanne | journey

down under | men at work

your love | the outfield

every little thing she does is magic | the police

man on the moon | r.e.m.

the great beyond | r.e.m.

losing my religion | r.e.m.

daysleeper | r.e.m.

nightswimming | r.e.m.

fool for your love | triumph

fight the good fight | triumph

ordinary man | triumph

say goodbye | triumph

magic power | triumph

spellbound | triumph

with or without you | u2

bullet the blue sky | u2

ANYTHING BY REO SPEEDWAGON EVERY ESPECIALLY THAT AINT LOVE AND THE UNIDENTIFIED FLYING TUNA TROT

a little heavy rock/metal

holy diver | dio

rainbow in the dark | dio

shame on the night | dio

fyi (dio is an acquired taste id say, but i love these songs, and if you listen to them and like them, the whole album is pretty good and the same singer also sang in the band rainbow if you want more its a similar style)

the number of the beast | iron maiden

modernish.. i guess. im not sure tbh

like… anything by fun.

the fray

imagine dragons

kiss me slowly | parachute

bloodsport | raleigh ritchie

the script

stromae

train (mostly the save me, san francisco and my private nation albums)

troye sivan (obviously who doesnt but still; honorary mention)

1965 | zella day

hypontic | zella day

man on the moon | zella day

jazzzzzzzz (so good i swear)

just a few songs by dave koz but all worth the mention believe me:

together again

know you by heart

surrender

cuban hideaway

*mostly wordless, great album to do homework to

if you actually read all of this/even listen to it, im proud… :D hope you like

(i considered putting it all intpo a spotify playlist and i can if you want but believe me… some of these genres do not mix)

#thank you so much #really #i had so much fun with this #if you listen to even just one or two will you tell me what you think #especially some of the odder ones?#i really wanna know what you think

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h-uman-z · 7 years

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🍑tag🍑 tagged by @trashcandan ❤️

nickname: wheezes i dont have a nickname algajgkaj star sign: Gemini  height: 5'3 last thing i googled: Jonas Oxenfree fanart algalgkakgk  favorite artist: hhhhe c k i mean??? at the moment, it’s Nicole Dollanganger, without a doubt  song stuck in my head: i have like 3 nicole dollanganger songs stuck in my head at All Times but “Dog Teeth” “Rampage” and “Coma Baby” are the ones ive been humming all throughout the day  last movie i watched: The Visit (i love horror movies so much)  last tv show i watched: shit i dont know  when did you create this blog: well i made this one This Year but my last blog dead-rose-s was created i think somewhere around June???)  what stuff do you post: soft things, kin stuff, some memes, stuff about mental health and whatnot, aesthetic pictures too do you have any other blogs: yep but they’re hoarded uns  do i get asks often?: hell no and if i do its from some random person asking if im dating or not and i just :///  why did i choose my url: because i wanted a more like– Soft Blog and i love plants so heccin much and i was just… “Flowury-boy” /Y e s/ also there was a blog i ised to follow and they had “flowury” written with the U and i thought that was creative !!  gender: mascandrogyne (a non-binary person who feels more masculine than feminine)  hogwarts house: i’ve never seen Harry Potter :0 favorite color: pale pink  average hours of sleep: um like 7-8 lucky number: 7! mainly cause im christian and ya know.,, 7 is God’s number (wheezes im Embarrassed)  favorite characters: !!! Viktor Nikiforov (Yuri!!!On Ice) !!!!god BLE S S him alflagkka, Alex (Oxenfree) i Really want to meet someone kin to her cause im kin to Jonas (and Nona), Saeran (Mystic Messenger) how many blankets do i sleep with: 2 dream job: photographer! i actually did a project about it and had to present today which was Hell but ye i’ve always loved taking pictures of the sky and nature in General yaknow? following: um???? heck i dont know i think??? 80???? either under or over 80 i cant remember agkakgkskf

I tag some babes (take a friggin sip) :: uM???? i dont know who to tag so im just gonna.,,

#falls into void #etc #i mean if anyones reading this and they wanna do it they can #also i just checked and im currently following 78 people alflakgakkg

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haruine · 7 years

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THE WINGS TOUR JAKARTA EXPERIENCE // 29.04.2017

It’s already one month. I know. Better to tell you later rather than not to lol. OKAY SO I GOT THE CHANCE TO SEE BANGTAN SONYEONDAN A.K.A BANGTAN BOYS WITH MY OWN EYES LIKE OMG. I asked my parents if I could watch them as my birthday gift this year, and they freaking said yes. The ticket war, the hype, the I-can’t-focus-on-my-school vibes weeks (and days) before the concert... And I got scammed too bcs I bought Army bomb. Everything was very memorable. Now I’ll start with my departure day to Jakarta.

CGK Arrival

So me and my mom went to Jakarta at 4.25 pm. I was absent on school that day lmao, I spent my half day to search for an Army bomb and keep informed for any news from my friends. And we arrived at CGK airport around... 6 pm I guess. I didn’t check the time that time haha. I saw so many ARMYs were waiting for Bangtan to came in front of terminal 2D and they’re chanting the boys’ names so freaking loud (cmiiw guys bcs I forgot which terminal was it). But actually, later on that night, Bangtan was arrived and got out at terminal 3. I felt bad for them who’ve waited :(

My hotel where I was stayed at was full of ARMYs that night. I saw so many girls around my age and I already knew that “oh they must be ARMYs”. I slept around 11 pm, even before I slept I can’t control my excitement, it felt like my heart was dropped to my stomach and going to explode. I set my alarm at 5 am, to prepare and did the final check.

THE D-DAY HECK YEAHHHHHH

I literally woke up at 4 am, and I don’t even know why I did... dammit. Some of my friends on Red B zone group were already awoke, and I was very shocked to see that some of ARMYs were already queued at ICE. I felt nauseous(?), nervous and excited just to think in a few hours I’ll saw them live. I took a shower at 5.15, after that I did my hair and etc.

I was arrived at ICE around 8, and there were A WHOLE LOT OF ARMYS already there. I was so damn confused where to queue at first & finally I queued in front of 6th hall. Oh before I queued I met my new friend who asked for some batteries for her Army bomb (fyi, i brought 8 batteries w/ me hahaha). I got freebies bcs my mom bought a watter bottle and a Jimin hand-fan for me (my mom is my hero, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MOM). And when I called her to looked for an Army bomb or penstick seller, she literally found one and I was so freaking glad (and surprised) my mom bought the original Army bomb what the--

I MET 2 NEW FRIENDS AND THEY WERE SO KIND OML. The first one I met was a very cheerful person and she was half western and Indonesian, we chatted for a while and fangirled (ofc duh) together HAHAHA. Aaaand the second one was very kind because both our friends watched the concert at Purple section and we’re both Red section. We parted bcs her benefit was soundcheck and me: fast track. BUT I REGRET FOR NOT ASKING HER NAME :( hey gurls if u saw this post pls dm me and let’s be friends alright

It was so hot and I admit I don’t like crowded places bcs it makes me felt dizzy but I tried to endured it all just for Bangtan only. I bought lunch for 50k rupiahs (its so damn expensive for a student like me but im hungry, sooo ok) and water for 10k. I ate everything in a rush and ran for my life bcs I thought my benefit number was already called out. When I got in the hall, I chose to stood in front of the extended stage. OH I WAS SCARED TOO THAT TiME WHEN MY ARMY BOMB DIDN’T TURNED ON BUT A PERSON HELPED ME AND I CAN TURNED IT ON PHEWWWW I WAS WRONG TO PUT THE BATTERIES INSIDE LOL IM SO STUPID

Spring Day MV was on and I teared up for real. I was excited and happy 'cause my night that was spent on waiting for the day I meet them came to an end.

Not Today made my jaw dropped, they’re gorgeous af in real life oh dear Lord

THEIR INTRO TALK WERE SO ADORABLE SHIT

Am I Wrong makes me go asdfdkslgeuhreaf

BAEPSAE! my life goal had been reached to saw it live :”)

Dope!!! I WAS SHOUTING JJEOREO ALL THE TIME

Begin: JEON JUNGKOOK MY FIRST EVER BIAS IN BANGTAN O MY SHIET oh and I sang too

LIE: EARGASM EARGASM EARGASMMMMM++++++

First Love: i shouted “i feEL SO NICE MOM I FEEL SO NICE WHOO” for real

Lost: vocal line in red makes me go “awww”

SAVE ME! I sang along and lifted the banner for the fan project while singin and swinging my Army bomb back and forth (but sadly after the concert I threw out the banner :( ) AND NAMJOON PUTS HIS THUMBS UP WHILE SMILING BCS WE SHOUTED “THANK YOU URIGA DWAEJEOSSEO”

I NEED U! It was the 2nd year anniversary of HYYH pt. 1 that day and when I think about it it made me so emo

Reflection: WE SHOUTED “WE LOVE YOU” TO NAMJOON, HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW LOVELY HE IS TO US, BABE U R AMAZING OKAY

Stigma: TAEHYUNG’S HIGH NOTE KILLED ME

MAMA!!!!!!! I personally love this song very much and saw Hoseok performed this made me really happy and I legit thinking about my mom while singing along

AWAKE: I sang my heart out and kept telling myself not to cry

CYPHER 4 WAS SO FRIGGIN’ LIT I SANG THE LYRICS ON TOP OF MY LUNGS HELL YEAH

FIRE!!! SSAK DA BULTAEORA BOW WOW WOW

N.O was my jam ok, I love that song so much

NO MORE DREAM: I SHOUTED EVERY LYRICS

Boy in Luv: why are you keep shaking my hearteu?!?!

Danger: they got dispersed and I shouted their names whenever they walked to the right extended stage bcs I was near

RUN!!! HOLY SHIT HOSEOK HE MAKES MY HAIR DRENCHED BCS HE SPLASHED WATER I WAS SO HAPPY AND HYPE SO I JUMPED AND THE VIDEO THAT I WAS RECORDING CAME OUT A MESS AND SHOOK A LOT HAHAHAHA

War of Hormone: this song was me and my friend’s jam:”))))

21st Century Girls: ISHIPSEGI SONYEODEULA LIVE UR LIFE LIVE UR LIFE COME ON BABYYYYYY

NAMJOON SAID “INILAH LAGU TERAKHIR” WHICH MEANS THIS IS OUR LAST SONG AWWW

BOY MEETS EVIL OMG HOSEOK WHY :”)))))))

BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS! I screamed wonhae manhi manhi hahahaha

enCOREEEE, THE VCR MAKES ME WANNA CRY THE WORDS REALLY TOUCHED MY HEART

OUTRO: WINGS!!!! ON THE STAGE WAS SHOWN “FLY HIGH WITH INDONESIAN ARMY“ AND I SMILED EAR TO EAR, THEIR HILARIOUS DANCE BREAKS MADE EVERY ARMY LAUGHED AND SCREAMED

Their last ment :( HOSEOK SAID “KALIAN ADALAH SAYAP KAMI, BERKAT KALIAN KAMI BISA TERBANG” (= you guys are our wings, and because of you we are able to fly) AND I SAID AWWWWW

JIN’S HAND KISS OMFG I CATCHED HIS FLYING KISS WITH NO SHAME LMAO

2!3! : we had a project for this song, we shout “SARANGHAE” instead of gwenchana, and it made TaeTae surprised and smiled so big.

Spring Day: i was getting more sad bcs it was their last song to perform :( and I sang along too

when they bowed together, ARMYs was singing “whoa oh oh” part from Spring Day, I felt like crying goshhh

their behind the scene video was sO CUTE

I was touched for the nth time when on the screen was showed “SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR WINGS, A.R.M.Y.”

Sooooo that was my experience. The next day I felt like crying bcs I can’t help but to think about the concert. MY PCD WAS VERY SEVERE DUDE. At the plane towards my hometown, I cried. When I was on my way to airport, I cried too. Until now I never dare to listen to Spring Day, bcs it will make me cry for sure. Earlier today I heard it on TV and I cried, again. HAHAHA I’M SO SENSITIVE WHYYYY.

If you guys get the chance to see them, and you’ve been wanting to see them, please focus on your goal right in front of your eyes. Even though you struggled so hard, I believe it will be worth it. They’re very exciting to watch and it was very worth the wait for me. Two days ago all of sudden my friend wanted to bought my Army bomb, but I said I didn’t want to sell it bcs it holds so many memories and everything related to the concert. I guess my PCD hasn’t cured yet lol.

Well, I’ll see you on my next post!

#bts bangtanboys experience concertexperience pcd postconcertdepression thewingstour twt thewingstourinJKT

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Carly & Ali

Carly: last nite was good of you Carly: saying thanks cuz i read my text from last nite & it was Carly: I cudnt read it k thats facts Ali: nah, don't mention it, no bitch left behind Ali: plus, I know the cunt doing the ditching, been there, like Ali: was trying to translate but yeah, you were pretty fucked 😂 Ali: how you feeling this am? 💚 Carly: yea? hes not that bad Carly: im a slag like he said tbh Carly: feeling like i had a decent nite all things considered Carly: you? Ali: Gurl, yes he is and no you ain't! Ali: Probably Ali: Who cares if you are, he is, and the rest Ali: I dated him for a bit, so there's no shady, tryna steal your man on the sly going on, don't worry Ali: much the same, my head feels like someone took my eyes out and shoved 'em up my arse, you know? Ali: standard sunday vibes Carly: aw you're sweet but it's no diss on me Carly: like ive cheated on him a few times Carly: but he does it too you're right w that Carly: hes a good fuck when he's not too wasted tho which you kno if you got it too Carly: you're single now tho? Carly: can have him back if you want Ali: Fair play Ali: why not call it open and call it a day? Ali: Probs 'cos he likes fighting as much as he likes fucking Ali: Meh, yeah, was passable, gotta have some reason to keep him around, like Ali: Nah, going out with the girl that drove us back Ali: Remember? Dark hair, angry Carly: yea Carly: you know Carly: shit my bad Carly: she was scary is what i've got in my head Carly: idk my head is sketch cant trust it Ali: That's a fair assessment, I reckon Ali: She wouldn't hate it either so you good 😉 Carly: pretty tho Carly: call it a trade up Ali: Yeah, she's cute Ali: you need any more of the night filling in lemme know, I'll do my best Ali: it was pretty standard though, nothing too wild Carly: no faking it w her cuz shes too drunk Carly: designated driver be like Carly: last i see i was getting with his friend lowkey and he went off about it im blank from then Ali: its a fucking gay crime to ever fake it, no matter what Ali: I can get behind that one tho, not got the time or energy tbh Ali: yeah i think him and his friend then got in a scrap and then they left Ali: bros before hoes mentality hardcore, like idk, have fun jerking each other off then, if that's ur vibe boys Carly: k that sounds legit from what i caught on his socials Carly: didnt upload the circle jerk bless Carly: gay crimes must of been committed Ali: sad face Ali: coulda spat on his back Ali: protip Carly: ill let him know when he texts me later Carly: how did you kno where i live? state of me Carly: sorry to drag you this way Ali: plottwist, i'm a massive stalker with bad intentions Ali: I truly don't know, but I'll tell Lene she should be a cabbie 'cos she managed and I don't think we got any puke in her car Carly: k big lesbian crush on me yea Carly: ioher lots Carly: stealing her girl and wrecking her car in one Ali: Naturally, you cute Ali: I'll give you her number if you like, or just pass along the thanks and soz Carly: awh you're cuter Carly: probs still drunk tho Carly: giving me those kind words Carly: you handle the now ex if you love me Ali: Hahaha, he'd LOVE that Ali: ghosts of gf past Ali: Let me and I'll love you forever Carly: go for it Ali: let's see if I've still got his number Ali: this contact list is a minefield of mistakes but the real embarrassment would be getting them muddled up, fo'shame! Carly: i can give it Carly: used it more recently than you Carly: up there at my top Ali: won't be tellin' him that Ali: don't need the ego boost Ali: but tah Carly: makes it more fun to fuck him over if you praise him first Carly: but maybe thats me Ali: like a shit sandwich Ali: I get it Carly: hungry for anything but that rn Carly: [Sends the number tho] Ali: wanna come for brunch Ali: now you are newly gay Ali: that's what they do, fucking sex in the city up in dis bitch Carly: yea? weird Carly: not what i thought Carly: awh first date tho Ali: forreal, even the butch ones, don't let 'em fool you, its all fancy fucking eggs and screwdrivers by 11am Ali: you call 'em mimosas tho, gotta pretend you're being classy Carly: wtf is a screwdriver Ali: Babe! Ali: Vodka and orange juice Carly: i call it that Carly: gays and their labels Ali: save it for the rant sesh honey Ali: love you talking about how men ain't shit as well Carly: thats the ones i fuck Carly: cant be bringing no poshos to a caravan Ali: Posh boys are only good for the money anyway, I'm sure Ali: not finding any in 24 like regardless Carly: not gonna find out if they do drive by now im a lesbian wife Carly: sorry lads Ali: they had their chance Ali: unlucky boys Carly: should prob tell me your name again if im taking it Ali: Ruins the mystery a bit but alright Ali: Its Ali Ali: Ali McKenna if we're being formal Carly: k you've got the hot brothers Carly: makes sense Ali: 🤔 Ali: I think you're thinking of someone else, babe Carly: not trying to have our first fight but you coulda told me before we got hitched, bitch Carly: you're still hot tho don't be sad Ali: so you could run off with one of my brothers? i think not Ali: unless you meant Tommy 'cos he's very single but that's unlikely because he's never here Ali: stuck with me for now, hoe 😘 Carly: a slag like me could do worse Carly: has Ali: bitch, same Ali: we can compare notes, see how many regrets we got in common Carly: yea Carly: doing it Ali: Good, save it for brunch 'cos I'm coming forreal Ali: we don't have to deal with a gaggle of gossiping gays tho, bring you a maccies breakfast? Carly: k Carly: be fun Carly: you are from what i remember Ali: I like that Ali: No bullshit Ali: Imma start all interactions like be fun please or I'm out Ali: ✌ bringing the fun and the bacon babe Carly: you're not bringing your gf are you Ali: Nah, how awkward, meet the missus, honey Carly: like there's usually a lad in my trio sorry Carly: still learning this lesbian life Ali: oh, are you bi legit? Ali: she's way too jealous for threesomes, you're good Carly: nah i just know what lads want Ali: Oh gurl Ali: that's why Lene ain't coming Ali: the lecture you're avoiding Carly: idc Carly: youre my wife now bitch Ali: 💍💍 Ali: Productive morning, if I do say so myself Ali: and we're hanging, fuck with us Carly: good influence of you cuz i havent done fuck all this week Ali: Hard work being a bi icon, babe Ali: wait 'til I get you on the yoga hype Carly: wtf Carly: is that a joke Ali: nah, I've already done half an hour this morning Carly: bitch i had my fingers crossed you mistyped yogurt Carly: i love you but its a no Ali: 😂 lets be really into yogurt, not fancy stuff, like fucking froobs Carly: phallic Carly: slurping on my dick shaped yogurt Ali: exactly Ali: what do men love more than a representation of their genitals shoved in your mouth? nothing, is the answer, bar the real thing Ali: so seductive Carly: they don't like food in bed tho, but maybe thats my technique Carly: thinking you could use whatever Carly: k just gonna dump this curry out yea bear with Ali: spicy Ali: imagine the yeast infection you'd get from a fromage frais Carly: like sorry but if i can handle cum in my eye you can deal with some saag aloo boy Carly: googling those symptoms would be a laff tho Ali: ugh, now i want indian Carly: date 2, babe Ali: 😍 Ali: this is all moving so fast Ali: 'bout it Carly: thats all i kno about lesbians k Ali: Its so true Ali: Can confirm Carly: is your gf gonna be mad that im flirting with you Carly: cuz im scrappy but she's scary Ali: 😂 Ali: Probably but when I tell her you're straight she'll have to chill Ali: yeah, we're married BUT SHE'S STRAIGHT, BABE Carly: can't tell her how many girls ive fucked cuz i dont remember Carly: convenient Ali: Best keep that on the DL, yeah Ali: like your blatant gay feelings for me Carly: k Carly: been a secret before no big Ali: Awh babe, ain't nothing dirty about this Ali: I shall tell the world Carly: you're sweet Ali: Probably not if you still wanna be getting that D but you know, noblest intentions, like Carly: im over it Carly: go off Ali: when your pussy's the cure Ali: how can I be humble now? 😏 Carly: dont be Carly: proud slags who fucking love froobs Carly: its a mood Ali: that is a whole ass mood Ali: put it on a t-shirt, babe Carly: earn some bread for my table Ali: solid business plan Ali: we can't be the only ones Carly: independent women who don't need no dick Carly: anymore Ali: hell yeah! Ali: unless that dick wanna pay the bills, in which case we'll let 'em Ali: so we can get more froobs Carly: point Ali: oh no, someone put a pic of Molly Briggs vomming on Insta Ali: 1. gross 2. who hasn't been there, poor bitch Carly: sad Carly: hope she's alright Ali: I'd ask but don't really know her and her phone must already be blowing up Ali: plus she threw a netball right in my face once and I don't forget, bitch Ali: jk, I'll just report the pic 😂 Carly: they all call me a whore cba to keep track of which mollys or other bitches Ali: She is a bit of a bitch, ain't gonna sugarcoat it so probably Ali: not saying Karmas real but posted on that friggin' TallaghtSlags page so 🤷 Ali: grab a froob, darling Carly: her name makes me wanna party with her dad but thats as far as im fucking with that family Carly: or mum i dont know who picked it like Ali: Init, proper old skool ravers, obvs Ali: think I'm out of eccies, sadly Ali: last night depleted me Carly: Watch me call my son Bennie cos I got anxiety, baby Ali: Cute tho, whole medicine cabinet of babies Carly: why not im married now Ali: We'll get on that, date 3, like Carly: where you taking me? Ali: up the wheyyyyyyyyyy Ali: well, we had brunch, indian, obvs we're fat bitches Ali: get on that chinese buffet life Carly: you can get on your yoga mat tho Carly: im fucked Carly: letting myself go so soon my bad Ali: Please, you're perfect Ali: I'll have all the kids if you want Carly: blushing is what i am Carly: how many you want? Ali: how many people names are there for drugs? molly bennie mandy charlie umm Ali: and our preachy child, frank Carly: ha Carly: tina that's one Ali: Ooh, yes, a gay icon Carly: billy, bud our weak child, cosmic kelly who's gonna have to style that out Ali: oh kelly, I hope you have the personality to match or we've really fucked you over there, soz babe Carly: can't forget dimitri, lucy or mandy Carly: sweet sweet mary joy Ali: My fanny hurts just thinking about it Carly: christine and tina are obvs twins thats a relief Carly: how manys that? Ali: 13 Ali: Unlucky for some but my actual lucky number! Ali: Fated Carly: ha Carly: it's love and keeps being proven Ali: can't fight what's clearly so right Carly: true Ali: you want a milkshake Ali: i'm having one Carly: yea Carly: strawberry Ali: 'cos u so sweet 💚 Carly: awww Ali: I shall be right there, with brunch fit for a pair of proud slags Carly: k Carly: my parents arent here no need to break the news of wedded bliss Ali: Would be a weird first impression but I could rock it Ali: new fave in-law? I think so Carly: yea Carly: cant fight fate like Carly: been said Ali: forreal, catch me outside if you got something to say, lads Ali: alone time with the bae is always good tho Carly: you kno Carly: love you bitch Ali: love ya 😘

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: How's it going, mate? Jimmy: Lost the will yet or nah Janis: Honestly Janis: Ain't even got that much shit but everyone's being dead dramatic about it Janis: Obviously I don't want my finger paintings, Ma, fucking hell Janis: how 'bout you? Jimmy: Cute 💕 Jimmy: Reckon I've got less but spending half my time separating my shit from Cass and Bob's Jimmy: How the fuck have they taken over my room? Jimmy: Theirs are bigger like Janis: Such a soft touch, lad Janis: Lucky we're sharing or best believe I'd be bagsying the shit out of the bigger room too 😉 Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: You can lay claim to all the drawers, mate Jimmy: Leave me somewhere to hang my hat though Janis: You forgotten which twin you moving in with? Janis: I'll tell Grace to grab her coat, like Janis: Get in, babe Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: I've seen how many pairs of kicks you have, I've made that mental note Jimmy: I've got nowt that needs to be worried about, proper floordrobe in my box room Janis: Awwh, when bae notices things Janis: such a #keeper Janis: Better be sorting that, I'll ask for hangers for a housewarming gift...now that's peak #adulting Jimmy: #goals every day of my life 💕 Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: Can't we ask for another dog, that'd be peak adulting for you Jimmy: Uping your training game Janis: Trying to break Twix's poor little doggy heart 💔 Janis: You monster, you Jimmy: She's capable of breaking her own Jimmy: Either pining for us or Cass wherever she decides she's gonna sleep Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: Drama 👑 Janis: Takes after you, I reckon Jimmy: I blame her training. Or should I say lack of Janis: 😨 Janis: Friggin' cheek Janis: and you want a puppy? When we've already fucked up our first child? Janis: shocking Jimmy: Only thinking of you, needing that 2nd chance Jimmy: Prove you've still got it, training wise Janis: If I can get you to do your own laundry, we'll call it a victory for me, yeah? 😜 Jimmy: That victory's already mine, proper domesticated me Jimmy: There's something to be said for raising yourself Janis: You'll have to teach me then Janis: Spoilt brat, like Jimmy: Alright 👑 Jimmy: See where Twix gets it from now Janis: Soz we know our worth, babe 💅 Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: Not looking to be the dickhead that chains you to the sink or owt Janis: Kinky Janis: and good luck, Twix ain't got the dexterity, broken plates all over the shop Janis: and I'd be aiming for your head, like 🏆 Jimmy: Tell it to Mr Lucas before he loses interest now you're 👵 Jimmy: 💪 Bring it on Janis: Being dying to chain me up since day 1 Janis: what do you think the detentions were all about, pervert Jimmy: I wasn't reckoning on him trying to get to me via you for the perfect latte recipe Jimmy: But who can say Jimmy: Got the breath of a bean addict like Janis: 😂 not your usual stalker but think about it Janis: pretty good candidate for the flat whites Jimmy: They do need to make up numbers Jimmy: And he don't seem like a trifler with the application Jimmy: Very committed to hanging around young girls Janis: Yeah, you're devvo your fanbase is dwindling Janis: Certainly one way to get back on everyone's minds and lips, babe Jimmy: Having a cry wank while I pack up me socks Jimmy: Rumbled me Janis: Nasty Janis: leave that one behind, like Janis: nice reminder of you for your Da Jimmy: If you find an odd it isn't your crap laundry skills, mate Janis: Good to know Janis: Can't knock out another one before you go? Janis: Lightweight Jimmy: For you I will Jimmy: You're welcome Janis: 😍 Janis: The romance Jimmy: #goals is my thing so Jimmy: 💐 Janis: Be putting that on the 'gram later then Janis: green with envy or 🤢 Jimmy: Everyone knows your snap is where the good shit goes 😏 Jimmy: Get a story going in every room once we're in, naturally Janis: Shut up 😳 Janis: s'one way to christen it, like Janis: the fans will approve Jimmy: I wouldn't disapprove meself Jimmy: But I'll be #buzzing not to trip over your brother constantly to be honest Jimmy: And not to have Bobby in and out of my bed Jimmy: Privacy like, how and what even is that? 😂 Janis: You clearly loved it Janis: Or he did Janis: either way, get a room 😉 Janis: Its gonna be pure luxury Jimmy: I see you, trying to dump me so you don't have to share the bed Jimmy: Gonna have to get more creative than fobbing me off on your brother, sorry Janis: Nah, you're a pretty good bed mate, to be fair Janis: Snuggly 😘 Jimmy: Only pretty good? Jimmy: Challenge accepted there then Janis: I mean, not saying I've had better Janis: but my last mans was a real 🐻 you know? Jimmy: No need to spur me on to 🏆mate Jimmy: Not with my winning streak Jimmy: 😎💪 Janis: 😏 We'll see Janis: Not leaving your competition at home, Gracie's heart would break, like Jimmy: Thought she'd be used to what a heartbreaker I am by now Janis: Who but me could ever keep up with your games, yeah? 🤷 Jimmy: Running rings round me, you Janis: Huh, a compliment? Janis: Not going to help you with your heavy shit up the stairs like just 'cos you're a 🍭talker Jimmy: I'm not asking. Got your nan coming round in a bit like 😏 Janis: 😂 feeling better with her on side now? Janis: brave, like, having her as your landlady Jimmy: I got no pianos or anvils I'm packing Jimmy: Should be alright Janis: just the 🎻right? Jimmy: Naturally Jimmy: Can't go far without that Janis: Not gotta sing for your supper, like Janis: not promising better than the chipper though Jimmy: Mate in this house that's fancy shit Jimmy: Can take me outta here but Janis: are Cass and Bob gonna come help? Janis: use the term loosely for Bobs but I'm sure I can convince my Da that Cass needs sustenance for all her 💪 Jimmy: They wanna Jimmy: I said they'd be more of a hindrance, especially if they drag Twix along but what can I say, most poorly trained of the lot, they are Janis: I'll whip 'em into shape Janis: Managed you, like Janis: If they got bored they can always go down and play pool and get crisps Jimmy: I give Cass half an hour before she's taking you up on that Jimmy: Over everything she is Jimmy: Fuck knows where she gets that from 😂 Janis: 😏 Right mystery that Janis: Ah to be 15 and have it all figured out, like Jimmy: I don't reckon she does, lad I see her hanging about with Jimmy: Right dickhead he looks Jimmy: Just mates, been there, said that, kid Janis: 👴 Janis: Maybe she's avoided your flair for the dramatic Janis: We can only hope or you're gonna have to be all up on her feed 👀 Jimmy: 🖕 Jimmy: Have a word, will ya Jimmy: Might go in more than one ear you saying it Janis: This what we become already? Janis: Not even in the front door like Janis: Don't let on, the field day the fans would have Jimmy: Dream team, we are Jimmy: On me own I'm just that dickhead Jimmy: Not news to Cass or the fans Janis: You're my dickhead 💞 Jimmy: You're cute 💕 Janis: What can I say? Janis: Prospect of finally getting outta this place and having our own space got me feeling a type of way Jimmy: Cheers to that 🍻 Jimmy: The barn and my car both have their own charms like but Janis: Good times Jimmy: You might be needing them back desperate when it hits what living with me is gonna be like Jimmy: Sure you got me that well trained? Janis: Definitely don't get rid, like Janis: Never know when you'll need to drive off dramatically into the night Jimmy: Or sleep in the backseat when you get mardy enough to kick me out Janis: You know Janis: Living above a pub, may as well act like we're in Eastenders Jimmy: Plot twist, it was Twix framing me all along Jimmy: That bitch Janis: Duff duff duff duff duff Janis: What a cliffhanger Jimmy: Predictable, but we know she is Janis: 😎 Shade Janis: Can't help how irresistible I am Janis: slept with half the square by the end of the month Jimmy: Who am I squaring up to this week 🥊 tune in to find out, lads Janis: Poor babe Janis: When you find out you shoulda been with lovely Lil Mo all along Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: You come home and I've moved Tam in Jimmy: Thank god for them high ceilings Jimmy: Love story years in the making Janis: 😣 and I'm still gonna hit it 'cos double standards and nah, bitch Janis: take my man, not my flat, how dare you Jimmy: And your 🐶 too Jimmy: Out of order Janis: She's gonna turn up squashed in a car compactor next ep Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: 4 x 4 and she still struggling for that head room Janis: You know that's your type Janis: Typical sketchy photographer, you Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: Not my fault your sibling rivalry with Gracie included being taller Janis: Likely story Janis: Going some to up your portfolio game tho, lad Jimmy: Go tall or go home Janis: Know I never mastered the artsy fringe but Janis: tah for sticking around still, like Jimmy: You're welcome Janis: Generous to a fault Janis: When you take charity fake dating too far, ladies and gents Jimmy: Fake yeah, Charity nah, babe Janis: Love you Jimmy: If you don't reckon you're beautiful by now I'm gonna have to take more pictures Jimmy: Good thing we've got a blank canvas for a bit Janis: Always wanted to live in a shrine to myself, obvs Janis: I'll have to amateur hour it so peeps know you live here too, like Jimmy: Done Jimmy: Can you? Got that pro status, mate Janis: 👌 I picked up a few tips Janis: you're not totally useless, like Jimmy: Thanks Jimmy: Love you too, like Janis: 💞 Jimmy: Reckon I'm done here Jimmy: Do you want me to come and get you or are we gonna need two trips for the boxes? Janis: Mental you ever unpacked that much tbh Janis: I reckon we can squeeze, no doubt my parents wanna follow like the creepers they are if there's too much anyway Jimmy: Fair Jimmy: and I'm gonna have to go back for Cass and Bob at some point anyway Jimmy: Don't need to be back and forth enough to make my dad think I'll miss the place Janis: Don't reckon even he can pull off that level of purposefully oblivious, like Janis: and don't reckon he wants me to come 'round to say farewell either, not that I EVER set a foot inside, like, nah 😉 Jimmy: Good times Janis: Don't be getting emotional on me now Janis: Look how far we made it, like Janis: 🎻 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll be #buzzing if I make it up the stairs with this shit Jimmy: 🚭 lads, who knew it was so bad for you Janis: the ban and the warning labels just flew right over you, like Janis: know you're not that tall but 😏 Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: Least your warnings worked 😏 Jimmy: Healthy as a 🐎 now like Jimmy: Never seen a horse do stairs is all Janis: is it them you can take up but they won't come down? Janis: or cows, maybe Janis: look, all I'm saying is, don't invite Mia 'round or we'll never be rid Jimmy: Fucked if I know Jimmy: You're the country girl Jimmy: We only have glue up north Jimmy: And burgers Jimmy: No cows Janis: 🙄 Janis: Am not, dickhead Jimmy: Tell it to the veg patch, mate Jimmy: You can move out but there's no leaving all that lot behind Janis: Don't say that Janis: that's the whole fucking point! 😂 Jimmy: You collect all the keys they've got and then we won't give any more out Jimmy: Done Janis: 😍 Janis: now you're talking my language Jimmy: Gotta get you back on side before I'm trapped in a car with you Jimmy: Surrounded by heavy objects Janis: Sensible boy Jimmy: Well trained Jimmy: I'm coming over now Jimmy: 💪 too if you need a hand Janis: Just the one? Janis: Shame 😈 Jimmy: Now you're talking my language Janis: Quicker we unpack the faster they'll all leave Jimmy: Why do you think I'm not bringing much 😏 Janis: Always thinking, my boy Jimmy: Not just a pretty face Janis: Nah Janis: have missed it tho Janis: and not just 'cos I've been staring at boxes for the past few hours Jimmy: Awh 💕 Jimmy: You'll be sick of it soon enough like Janis: Threat or a promise? Jimmy: We'll see Janis: Tease Jimmy: First time you've ever complained though Jimmy: Bit late Janis: Fickle like that Janis: but you knew that too so Jimmy: Nobody can say I didn't know what I was getting into Jimmy: Couldn't even play fake nice, you Janis: You loved it Jimmy: Yep Janis: Thank fuck Janis: Plan B where I had to join the flat whites woulda been rough stuff, like Jimmy: You'd have loved it Janis: Clearly, all I ever want from life is spending more time with my sister Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Gonna move her in instead of me then? Jimmy: I'll turn this car around Janis: Hell no Janis: not been able to share a room for years Janis: nevermind a bed, as much as the pervs would love that Jimmy: Think of the 'gram Jimmy: Have I taught you nowt Janis: Don't even fucking suggest it Janis: the idea of that makes likes would defs go to her head Jimmy: I'm here now so feel free to shut me up Janis: 💪 Janis: Coming

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