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jqngkooz · 4 months

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tis the damn season’ (2) | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

rating: 18+ (no smut in this chapter just a makeout scene 🙈)

genre: f2l? more like idiots to lovers, mutual pining, angst, fluff, eventual smut

warnings: infidelity and just general bad decision making skills lmao, jealousy, arguing, swearing, one mention of a dick, kissing, making out. jk’s a bit of a player but he has his reasons.

w/c: 3.2k

a/n: pt.2 is here!!!! so sorry it took a while. enjoy :)

summary: When Jimin convinces you to spend christmas in a cabin in the middle of nowhere with your entire friend group, you’re forced to face the feelings that you’ve been suppressing for your best friend Jungkook after all these years.

“I must say, you’re the most stable person I know and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you crumble like this.” Yoongi is kind enough to be up at 6 am with Jungkook, making him coffee as he sits at the kitchen island with his head on the cold surface.

He spent the whole night tossing and turning next to the girl he’d stupidly invited in an attempt to not seem like a loser to you. Clearly, you didn’t feel the same way, that was evident by the fact that you almost married another man and still didn’t even reach out when you broke the engagement off. He just didn’t want you to think he was a loser who had spent the last three months sulking. He had.

“I know, I’m a mess,” Jungkook starts, face pressed into the table, “and she’s nice, Isabelle I mean, and I like her…”

Yoongi places the cup of coffee next to Jungkook and finishes his sentence for him, “But she’s not y/n.”

It’s weird. In senior year Jungkook had gotten a girlfriend. She was a cheerleader with a swishy ponytail that had latched onto your friend group, always wanting to be around him. You’d gotten weirdly distant at that time, cancelling your after-school study sessions only for him to find out you were doing them with Jimin instead. It’s like sometimes he got the feeling that you didn’t want him to be with other people and that gave him hope that you might have felt the same, but you never told him. No angry love confessions in the rain, nothing. You never made a move. And it messed with his head until he felt dizzy and utterly confused about just what the hell you wanted.

“Did you invite her here just to make y/n jealous?” Namjoon’s voice booms a little too loud as he comes down the stairs and into the kitchen, causing Jungkook to sit up and wince.

He sighs, “Yes, well- no not exactly.”

“Then why?”

He looks up at Namjoon who looks slightly disappointed and his heart pangs a little, suddenly feeling like that 15-year-old who would do anything for Joon’s approval again.

He groans, “I thought she’d be mad and ignore me or something.”

Namjoon shakes his head, he knows you would never.

“I just thought if I brought another girl she’d think that I moved on and we could just go back to being normal again.”

Jungkook looks up at Yoongi as if he’s checking for approval, he’s met with a very disapproving stare. Yoongi sighs, “Jungkook, are you stupid?”

He frowns, big round eyes staring at Yoongi. “No?” Maybe he was, waiting 10 years to tell you he loved you when it was far too late was kind of stupid.

“She loves you, you realise that right?”

Jungkook sighs, “Yeah I know b-”

Yoongi cuts him off, “No, not as a friend idiot. She loves you.” He shakes his head rapidly.

“You know she messaged me every week asking how you were after you fell out? She made me send pictures of you and Bam because she missed you. Jungkook, you put her in an awkward situation, she was engaged. But that doesn’t mean she didn’t feel the same way. You never asked her how she felt, did you?”

Taehyung knows Jungkook like the back of his hand. He knows that his guilty pleasure is chilli cheese fries, he remembers a time in college when that was all he ate for an entire week. He knows that Jungkook unwinds on a weekend by watching crappy reality tv because he caught him one time before he could change the channel. He also knows that Jungkook doesn’t like losing. And that’s how he knows this plan will work.

Truthfully, Tae has always been flirty with you. He’s flirty with everyone, but you usually laugh him off, never taking his compliments seriously. That’s why Jungkook’s a little confused at your sudden interest in him. All day you’ve been clinging to him and laughing at his jokes like he’s the funniest guy in the world. Jungkook knows he’s not that funny. Even now as you all attempt to build snowmen in the cabin’s garden you both look like something out of a hallmark movie, all bundled up with hats and scarves as you throw snowballs at each other.

It’s Seokjin who notices Jungkook’s frown as he stands next to his snowman watching you and Tae.

“Why is your snowman buff?”

Jungkook breaks his gaze away from you two, turning to Seokjin. He can still hear your giggles as Tae shoves snow down the back of your coat and chases you with another lump of it that’s probably big enough to knock you out.

He shrugs, “Wanted it to look like me. Why does yours have a dick?”

“Wanted it to look like me.” Seokjin remarks, eliciting probably Jungkook’s first smile today. “What’s got you all frowny?”

Jungkook shakes his head, the tassels on his woolly hat shaking with him, “Ah, nothing.”

“Does that ‘nothing’ have to do with those two?”

Now his attention’s back on you again. You’re far too close to Taehyung’s face, brushing snow off of his cheeks and apologising, saying you hadn’t meant to actually get him in the face.

“Just didn’t know they were that close.”

“They’re not usually.”

It’s when you come jogging towards Jungkook and Seokjin that the conversation stops. You’re a little out of breath from all the running as you stand in front of them, admiring Jungkook’s snowman with a smile.

“Always the perfectionist. Mine’s already fallen apart. How is yours so stable?” You laugh.

“I dunno.” He answers, unusually sharply and it has you turning to look at him with a cock of your head.

“Everything okay?”

That’s Seokjin’s cue to leave and he busies himself with trying to kick Jimin’s work of art down.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?” He doesn’t know where to look and settles on his shoes. At least they’re not boring into his soul like your eyes are right now.

“Okay yeah, I don’t know. Just checking.” You smile again as if you truly have no idea why he seems upset. Of course you do, yours and Tae’s whole act is painfully obvious to everyone else in the cabin, but Jungkook isn’t exactly the most rational thinker when it comes to you. “Where’s Isabelle?”

“Oh, she’s uh, inside. She doesn’t like snow.”

You frown, “Who doesn’t like snow?”

He shrugs, finally looking up at you.

“I think my toes are gonna freeze off if I’m out here any longer. I’m gonna go warm up so I’ll check up on her.” You add.

No. That’s the worst thing that could happen. You and Isabelle alone? Talking? She’d surely tell you that she wasn’t actually Jungkook’s girlfriend, just a casual hook-up and that she has no real idea why he invited her. He shudders at the thought.

“So you’re not dating?”

Once you’d pressed yourself up against the heater until your fingers gained some colour again and double-layered on fresh socks, you padded down the stairs to find Isabelle sitting on the couch alone.

“No. He made it very clear it was nothing more than sex for him, which is fine, but I don’t know if that’s what I want anymore, in life you know?”

You nod. Isabelle is lovely, she’s sweet and gentle and you’re sure you would have been friends in another life if she wasn’t fucking the guy you’d been pining over for years.

“And I guess I’m a little confused. When I brought up getting more serious he avoided the conversation and things got awkward. Then he invites me here, it’s all a little confusing. I don’t wanna talk badly about him, I know he’s your best friend and he’s a great guy but- I feel like he’s messing with me.”

“Isabelle, this is our first conversation and I can already tell how good of a person you are. I care about Jungkook too but you’d be crazy to think that hook-ups are all you deserve,” You sigh, “If you want something more, go and find someone willing to give you that.”

And you truly mean that. Sure, you’d had conversations with his past girlfriends like this, and maybe those times you had an ulterior motive when you advised them to go and find someone else, but seeing her sit in front of you so vulnerable, you mean it this time.

She nods, “I’m well into my 20’s, I’ve never had a serious relationship and I want it. I want kids one day. I want it all. How do you do it?”

That makes you laugh.

“Not very successfully. I was engaged, for a while. I broke it off a few months ago. He was a nice guy, he was stable and he was always there, but I never had that feeling you know? That teenage excitement. I never felt that with him.”

Well, that’s not entirely untrue. He never did give you that electric feeling that you’ve always been searching for, you just leave out that only Jungkook seems to give it to you. You’d had endless arguments with Mark where he’d pressed you to just tell him why you weren’t putting your whole heart into it. He could always tell that he was far more invested than you were, and he knew the reason why. He knew exactly what, or who, was stopping you from fully committing to him. He hadn’t blamed you as you left him, he understood that you just don’t pick who you love.

When everyone starts piling in from the garden, you excuse yourself into helping an almost frozen Taehyung warm up.

Jungkook can’t bear the sight. You carefully take off Tae’s hat and scarf as you rub his arms in an attempt to warm him up while he watches you far too lovingly. He’d rather retreat upstairs to his room and let his head spin with the image of you and Tae and the worry of what you and Isabelle had been talking about while he slips further and further into madness. He doesn’t expect you to follow though, bumping into you in the hallway.

“Hey,” you start, “can we talk?”

“About what?” He’s still pulling on a fresh sweater as you stand in front of him in the quiet hallway. All the noise of the house is coming from downstairs and he worries you can hear his heartbeat in the quiet up here.

“What are you doing with Isabelle?”

That catches him off guard and he frowns down at you. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t you think it’s unfair messing with her like that? I’m only saying this as your friend, she’s such a nice girl. What exactly are you doing?”

“I don’t understand what you’re insinuating?”

You cross your arms. It’s one of his more frustrating traits, pretending he doesn’t understand when he doesn’t want to talk about something.

“Jungkook.” You deadpan.

He runs a hand through his hair, “No, I’m sorry, I don’t understand why you’re interfering with my love life. I don’t know what she said to you but what we have right now is working perfectly fine.”

You scoff, loudly. How very rich of him, to criticise you for interfering when that’s all he’s done to you your whole life, interfere with every guy you’ve ever liked. “Seriously? You wanna talk about interfering?”

He laughs dryly, looking away from you. He knows you’re right. All he can do is attempt to deflect.

“I didn’t interfere with you and Mark. I never did, I told you how I felt. It’s different.”

“What and you think I was able to just carry on after that confession? You think I brushed that off like it was nothing?”

“Sure seemed like it.”

Now he’s just being hurtful, and he knows it. He can see it in your eyes. Whenever he’s mean to you, you get a look. Eyes glossy and eyebrows peaked in confusion.

“That’s not fair Jungkook.”

“What’s fair about any of this?” His voice is louder now and you pray everyone downstairs isn’t listening in on the conversation, especially not the girl he brought here. “What was fair about you turning me away that night? Do you think it was easy for me to see you with him? It was fucking horrible, okay? I hated every second you were with him. Now today you’re hanging off of Tae’s arm. So excuse me if I’m not being fair, I’m not exactly having a nice time right now.”

Tears threaten to spill down your cheeks and you mentally scold yourself for being so damn emotional. You know he can see right through you right now. He stands with a hand on his hip, looking like he’s mad at you and you hate it. You hate it so much that your face tells him just how much you hate it.

He continues, a little softer this time, “I just mean that maybe I’m not exactly over what happened, okay? You didn’t even hear me out. You dropped me from your life. That’s hard to get over and I’m- I don’t know.”

“I had to drop you Jungkook. There was no chance of me having a successful relationship with you in my life.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You’re exasperated now, frustrated that you have to spell everything out for him. This time your voice is louder. “God, every single boyfriend I’ve ever had has hated you. You have literally ruined all of my relationships and you don’t even realise it. I couldn’t physically bring myself to commit to anybody with you looming over me, always like a damn question mark in my head, okay?”

Truthfully, he had no idea you felt like that. He’s always been pretty poor at picking up on hints and cues and he completely missed that. He always felt that you meant so much more to him than he meant to you. You went about your life and your relationships just fine while he sat at home and yearned for you, that’s what he had thought up until now.

“What?” Is all he can manage.

“How am I supposed to be with other people when you’re always a possibility? As soon as I think I’m finally over you, you come back and-”

“Over me?” He steps towards you, like a reflex at your words. “What do you mean over me?”

“You know what I mean.” You’re practically whispering now. It’s somehow embarrassing to be so vulnerable and you feel even more sympathy towards the Jungkook who turned up at your door and confessed to you now that you’re in his place.

“You never even told me you liked me, now you’re telling me you’re over me?”

“How could I tell you Jungkook? I was engaged.”

His head is a complete mess, spinning and cartwheeling.

“You’re telling me that that night, when I told you I loved you, you didn’t turn me away because you didn’t feel the same?”

“No!” You shake your head, “I thought it was so obvious, how was it not obvious to you? I turned you away because breaking one guy's heart was easier than breaking two. If I told you I felt the same, Mark would have left. That’s why I had to leave him because it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair being with him when I’m in love with someone else, okay?”

He’s completely silent. Just staring down at you. There’s a lot he wants to say, years and years worth of things, but his brain can’t even string two words together. Maybe he is stupid, but he never thought that you felt the same. Of course, he considered it a possibility, but a far-fetched one. Hearing you say that you love him doesn’t even feel real, he’s not even sure if he’s awake right now.

“You love me?”

“Yes. And you’ve moved on and I know that’s my fault because I missed my chance to tell you I felt the same but-”

He cuts off your rambling, “I haven’t. Moved on I mean. Not at all.”

“You invited a girl. Obviously, you have, and that’s fine.”

Now he has that desperate look again, bottom lip tucked between his teeth as his eyes dart across your face. “We’re not serious. I’m in love with someone else.”

It’s your turn for your head to spin. Sure, he’d said it once before, but you never expected he’d still feel the same way. It’s weird, how you two always seem to pull together. No matter how bad of a time it is, it’s like you can’t stay away from each other. Even now with your faces inches apart, you’re spiked with the horrible feeling that you’re doing something bad. Even if he’s not serious with her, it’s not right for her to be sitting downstairs while he’s up here with you, yet again confessing his love.

“What’s going on with you and Taehyung?” He says quietly.

You reply far too quickly, “Nothing. Was trying to make you jealous.”

That’s enough for him and he steps impossibly closer again. He sucks in a sharp breath, looking down at your face as if he’s weighing up whether or not this is a bad decision. The little devil on his shoulder wins because he’s grabbing your face and crashing his lips on yours. It’s hungry and desperate the way he kisses you like he can’t bear not being on your lips for a second longer. You melt into him as you wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss. You can taste just how sweet this moment is and you savour every second of his vulnerability.

“Bad idea” You mumble onto his lips as his hands move from your face to wrap themselves around your waist and pull you flush against him.

“Don’t care.” He replies, pulling back for a second to catch his breath. You pull him back in, afraid that if he has even a second to think this through you might lose him, but he kisses like he wouldn’t dream of letting you go. He lets none of you go to waste and it’s a dance of tangled breaths as he finally softens, slowing down a little. He pulls away again, looking at you for a while before planting a small kiss on your mouth, pulls away, and plants another one. You feel winded, you’re out of breath, your lips a little swollen and your chest heaves slowly with an endearing warmth that you swear you’ve never felt before. It’s Jimin calling your name from the bottom of the stairs that makes you both jump and pull away from each other.

“We should probably go down.” He breathes out, scratching the back of his head. It’s so charming, how he kisses you like you’re the last meal he’ll ever have and almost immediately regresses into his shy self the minute he pulls away. His cheeks are dusted red and his lips are covered with your pink, smudged around his mouth and down his chin a little.

“You have lipstick all over you.” You point out, giggling quietly.

“Oh shit. Get it off.”

#jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #bts #bts fic #bts x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bangtan #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x you #fanfic #fanfiction

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springseasonie · 1 year

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Hate me more | LMH (M)

Enemies to lovers, Camp counselors Mark x Fem reader

Summary: You really dislike Mark and you're pretty sure he dislikes you too. Ever since he came to the camp last year, he's been nothing short of a headache to you. And now you're forced to work with him this summer, and his mission is clearly to piss you off.

Warnings: sexual content, heavy dubcon/cnc themes, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), kissing (shocker), Mark is annoying, so is the reader tbh, may be errors even though proof read

Word count: 7,7k

Song recs: kiss by NCT dojaejung (this is my way of promoting the unit go stream)

A/N: I was gonna write something for the release of golden hour but this took a bit longer than expected 😭 10 days later an I finally finished it lmao please give feedback if you want it's always appreciated

"Okay kiddos make sure you have all your things before we go back to the cabins okay?"

"Yes Ms. Y/N!"

You gave them a thumbs up as you leaned on a tree, waiting for all the kids to pack up. This was your life every summer for the past 4 years. Being a camp counselor was a lot of work the first time, but by the end of the summer, you had to come back. You loved your kids and they loved you. The staff was always so welcoming and nice. That was true until Mark started the third summer.

He was such an asshole. All the other female counselors gushed over him and his looks. He was constantly flirting with everyone, using his looks and charisma to get himself out of shit. It annoyed you, and Mark instantly took notice. He would side eye you all the time and talk about you as if you weren't friends with everyone else. He didn't really care though, he enjoyed being confronted by you every time he got "caught." Mark found your anger funny, never really taking you seriously.

And now you're paired to work with him this summer.

"Ms. Y/N, where is Mr. Mark? I need help getting something out a tree," one of the kids asked.

"That's a good question honey." You glanced around the area, looking over both shoulders to try and get a sign of him. And of course, he's nowhere to be found. "I don't see him around. We're just gonna have to wait for him okay?"

The little girl nods and runs back to her friends. Ten minutes go by and you start to get annoyed. This happened way more often than you would like to think. Mark disappears to do something or someone for way too long and you're left to take care of the kids by yourself. Sometimes, you almost think it's unbelievable how unreliable he is, sneaking away leaving you alone with 20 children in a forest. But then again, it's on brand for him.

5 more minutes went by and you start to get frustrated. You have no idea what he could be doing that's going to cause all of you to be late for dinner time. "Okay everyone please listen to me okay?" All the kids stop talking and turn to you. "I'm gonna go look for Mr. Mark, but I need all of you to sit in 5 rows of 4. Now." All the kids practically run to sit next to their friends and plop down on the floor.

"Good. None of you move or get up. If anything happens, scream at the top of your lungs okay? I'll be right back." All of the kids agreed as you turned to walk into the forest, going the way you last saw him.

"So fucking irresponsible," you muttered to yourself. "How the hell am I supposed to watch 20 kids by myself?"

You could still hear the kids, so you know you weren't too far away from the area or the trail. This wasn't new for you, always looking for him. It's only been a month since the both of you had to start working together, and he was already making shit hard for you. Mark liked to go hide somewhere. it was either to get away from you, the kids, or to get blown off by some staff member. You couldn't stand it.

"I mean seriously, can't he control himself for one fucking summer," you grumble. "Fucks everything that walks. What an ass."

"Well I wouldn't say that."

Your body jumped violently suddenly hearing his voice next to you. You whipped your head in his direction seeing him sitting, leaning in a tree. Mark had his ear buds in and from where you were standing, you could still hear the music playing.

"Where the hell were you," you asked angrily.

Mark stood up and dusted his pants off as he walked to you. You crossed your eyes, eyeing him up and down. He was so smug about everything. He always looked like something was amusing to him, like there was always a joke to tell.

"Here," he said.

"Clearly. And how the hell do you even have a working phone out here. There is literally no service."

Mark shrugged, wrapping the ear buds around his phone and putting it in his back pocket. "I downloaded stuff before I came."

"Whatever, let's go," you said, rolling your eyes.

"Where are the kids," he asked you, placing his hands in his pockets as he walked.

"In the same place I left them. I had to come get you like you were a lost child. Stop leaving me with all these kids."

Mark smiled in amusement as he walked behind you. You didn't really notice, but you tend to stomp when you are angry. And fortunately for Mark, it wasn't annoying. He actually found it cute, but he wouldn't tell you that.

"Can we take a break? My legs hurt," he whined teasingly.

"Mark, stop playing games. We have 20 kids in the forest waiting for us to come back and the sun will start setting soon," you replied, sighing heavily.

"Oh please we'll be okay."

And at this moment, you've just about had it with him. You turned around, lips pursed at his nonchalant response. Mark stopped in his tracks, looking up at you as you stood on the top of the small hill. "You have one more time to piss me off or I will report you. I'm not joking."

Mark's amused expression washed away as you turned around and kept walking. For the rest of the walk back, he said nothing. Soon enough, the both of you got back to the kids who were still sitting and chatting.

You sighed, groaning quietly. "I'm gonna do another headcount. You get that thing out of the tree."

"Why couldn't you just do it," he complained.

"Because- you know what, just get it out the tree."

You counted all of the kids, double and triple checking everyone and the area around you. Soon enough, Mark got the toy that was stuck in the tree out, and everyone was ready to leave. "Okay everyone you know the drill. Get your buddy and get in line. Mark, you'll watch the back."

"Didn't sound like a question," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I wasn't asking."

"I swear to you I will kill him if I'm ever alone with him again."

"He's really not that bad," Somi said, taking another bite of her pancake.

"Please, bad is an understatement," you say as you sit down. "He fucking left me with 20 kids, and then when we got back and I told him how dangerous that was, he says 'but you handled it, right?'"

Somi laughs, clearly amused at your story. You give her a confused look, not understanding why she wasn't siding with you. "Y/N, anything he says makes you angry."

"That's not the point!" Somi stops laughing when she sees how upset you are. "He left me and 20 kids in the forest near sunset to sit on his ass and listen to music. Then got an attitude with me because I was telling him what do when he wanted to act like a fucking child. I'm tired of it, Somi. I've been dealing with this for a month."

"Shit, I didn't think it was that serious," she said, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly.

"We literally could've had a bear encounter or something. I don't want to keep taking responsibility for his shit," you say, sighing heavily. "Anyways, I'm done complaining. Let's just eat."

You went to bed last night still completely angry at what happened in the forest. Mark didn't say anything to you walking back, but your conversation once you got back to the main camp was nothing short of unpleasant. It consisted of all your usual unpleasantries with him. Mark didn't really seem to care much though. You hated that you always let him get a rise out of you once you said you weren't going to do it anymore. And at this point, you had to get to the bottom of it.

You looked around the dining hall trying to find Mark. You knew he was there, he always came late after roughhousing with the kids in his cabin. Searching around some more, you spot him in line getting food. "I see him."

"Please don't harass the man," Somi begged you.

"Too late." You got up and walked to him. You really needed all this bad energy between the both of you to disappear. You weren't too sure about him, but it made every day difficult and you couldn't deal with it all summer. "Hey buddy," you said, tapping his shoulder.

"Didn't know we were friends."

The fake smile immediately turned into a frown. "Our conversation from last night isn't finished."

Mark groaned quietly as you followed his pace in the line. "Why do you keep bothering me if you don't like me?"

"I'm not bothering you, I'm trying to figure out what your deal is," you whisper yell. You followed Mark to his usual seat with the other male counselors, taking a seat right next to him. You were too focused on him to notice the confused stares you got from everyone else.

"Um, hey Y/N," Haechan greeted you awkwardly. "Is this…your new spot?"

"I came to talk to your friend if you don't mind."

"She's crazy," Mark blurted out, making the table laugh.

You smacked him on the arm, making him turn to you with the brightest smile you've seen all summer. And for some reason this was the first time you looked at him without feeling pure irritation. He was actually pretty…cute?

You couldn't look directly in the eyes, fearing that the anger you felt all morning would go away. Instead of speaking, you got up and went back to the table with Somi.

"So..what happened," she questioned.

"Nothing."

"You don't seem too upset by it," Somi observed.

"What..what are you talking about," you said, trying to deflect.

"You can't fool me, you're terrible at lying," she laughed. Somi took another bit of her pancake, but stopped laughing, giving you a look as if she found out something. "Do you like him?"

"Keep your voice down! And don't eat with your mouth full, you look like a damn kid."

"Y/N, do you like him?"

"Of course not! I can't stand the man," you deny.

Somi squints her eyes and side eyes you, but says nothing. You know she doesn't believe you, but it doesn't really matter because either way, you don't like him. "Okay..just know that today is your day to clean the kitchen."

"I know," you said with a sigh.

"And his also," she reminded you.

"Goodness kill me now."

You and Mark cleaned the dishes in the kitchen silently, not daring to say a word. There was an unspoken rule between the 2 of you at the moment, first person to speak surrenders to the other for the entire summer. You'll never surrender to him, no matter what it takes (that's what you want to believe anyway.) Mark had been stealing glances for about 30 minutes now, watching you clean meticulously and quietly. He always thought you were pretty, except for when you were being annoying that is. He always thought of himself as the bigger person, despite his childish nature, so he thought he should end this silent game sooner than expected.

"Did you get sleep," he asked.

"Why do you care?"

"I can't be concerned about my friend," he said. Mark chuckled softly when you sucked your teeth.

"Why do you insist on pissing me off," you say, turning to him. "Like I really don't understand why you don't like me. Since you came here last year, I've been nothing short of annoyed with you."

"It's never been my intention, but I just happen to strike those emotions in some women."

"What the fuck does that mean?" You put down the dirty dishes, crossing your arms as you looked at him with a brow raised.

"It means," he replied, turning to you, "that the more women are attracted to me, the less they like me."

You scoffed, getting back to cleaning the dishes. "You wish. You're out of your fucking mind."

"If I'm crazy, then what exactly was that earlier," he asked. You didn't know, but Mark definitely noticed how you backed off of him during breakfast. The way your expression changed, how quick you got up. It almost seemed like you were running from something, and he knew exactly what it was. "I know you like me."

"I don't like you. I just didn't want to talk to you in front of all your friends. They were laughing at me, so I left," you explained. Mark took two steps to you, his body ending up close to yours. You backed up a bit, not understanding why he was close to you, but he followed you again. "What are you doing?"

"Testing something out," he said simply.

"Look I don't know what you're testing but I'm busy. " Just as you moved away from him, he placed his arms beside you, trapping you under him. The both of you have never been this close before. Sure there were times where he had to catch you or hold you for activities in the forest, but there was nothing like this. This was close. This was personal.

"What are you doing," you asked, shock written all over your face.

"Standing here." Mark's lips curled into a smirk as his eyelids dropped once glancing at your lips. "You're pretty."

"Thank you but I really need to-"

"You know," he started,"you never told me what you wanted to talk about before you left the table."

You sighed, making a dramatic pained expression. "Mark, please. Can you back up?"

"No."

You looked up at him, surprised that his face was closer than before. One more move and your lips would've probably touched his. 'Why am I even thinking about that right now,' you thought to yourself.

"I know you wanna kiss me," he said almost in a whisper. Mark chuckled softly seeing the frazzled look on your face. You were so easy to read, always saying you didn't like him knowing damn well you wanted him. He just wanted to make you say it. He wanted to break your prideful attitude down and make you beg for him.

"You are saying insane things right now." You couldn't even look him in the eye, too afraid you would melt under his body. He was too close. You couldn't control your heart beat or your whirling mind. 'Maybe kissing him wouldn't be so bad,' you thought to yourself, but pushed the thought to the back of your head.

"But you didn't say I was wrong," he said, leaning into your neck.

"Mark, seriously." The slight whine in your voice made you want to run and hide from everyone. You felt like you were going to collapse into his hands the closer he got. His voice was so soft, but his presence was still so dominating. It was almost too much for you to bear.

"What would you do if I kissed you right now," he whispered in your ear, a smile on his face. "Would you push me away, take it and get mad, or maybe give me another one?"

You could barely look at him, let alone speak. You had no idea how to respond to him. You didn't even know if you were supposed to. But what you did know is that if he made one more move or said anything else, you would most likely lose your mind. "Mark, it's too early in the morning for this," you said practically begging him to stop.

Mark released his hand from the counter, placing it on your waist. His grip was firm as he pressed you against the counter more, body so close his leg was between yours. "You're not even trying to run at this point. You little liar."

"Mark..what if someone comes in here?"

"Let them. Why do you care? Are you scared," he teased. Mark kissed the spot behind your ear softly, making you gasp. Your body tensed up in his hand, causing him to rub small circles in your waist in an attempt to comfort you. He kept missing down your neck, moving back up to kiss your jawline.

You stood there, still as a tree. Your eyes fluttered shut, taking in the feeling of his lips on your skin. At this rate there was no point in fighting it. He had already won like he did with everyone else. You felt Mark's hand leave your waist, grabbing your chin as he ran his finger down your bottom lip.

"If you want me to stop I will."

You shook your head unconsciously, brows slightly frowning at his words. You were desperate and he definitely knew from the way you were frozen and speechless.

"Good girl." Mark kissed you softly, but deeply. His hand slowly made its way to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him. You dare to touch him, feeling like it was way too intimate. But before you could even pull away, he kissed you again, this time with even more sincerity. You didn't know why you had such a heavy feeling in your chest, but it did scare you a little bit.

"We have to finish all of this stuff in 15 minutes. You think we can make it," he asked on your lips.

"If you stop fast enough, maybe.."

Mark chuckled softly at your response, pulling away from you. He was clearly extremely turned on, but you were not the kind to help him with his problem, and he knew that. But that didn't stop his mind from drifting, thinking about how hot it would be if you dropped to your knees at this very moment.

"Wasn't that fun Y/N?"

"What are you talking about," you said, covering your face in embarrassment.

"Unwinding instead of having a stick up your ass," he jabbed.

You dropped your hands, scoffing at him. You shoved your way out of his arms, walking to the sink he was at previously. "Gosh, you're so annoying," you mumbled as you scrubbed the dirty plates.

"Yeah but you like it though."

"You wish."

"Proved my point."

You and Mark haven't spoken since the kitchen fiasco. You said a couple of words to each other when it came to the kids, but nothing more than that. You couldn't even look at him, the shame filling your body once he came into your vision. But one thing was for sure- you definitely didn't hate him as much. You were still very confused. You didn't understand where all those feelings came from for Mark in the kitchen. Maybe your subconscious? It didn't really matter, you just wanted to make sense of everything.

"Okay everyone, tonight is movie night so we need to leave a little early okay," you announced.

Mark leaned on a tree silently watching you as you interacted with the kids. You didn't know that he had conflicting feelings as well. All the teasing and messing around turning into sexual tension was not what he hoped for. He just wanted to mess with you. He wasn't actually going to kiss you for real, but when he saw the desperate scrunch of your eyebrows, how could he resist himself? If it weren't for the kids, he would definitely have his way with you right on the ground, but nothing in his life ever works right.

Mark admired the way you were with them, always so nice and careful. You were careful with anything really, never wanting to come off as irresponsible or rude. But he never cared about any of that. He didn't care if people thought he was a prick or an ass, which is why you were so intriguing to him. He never got a chance to actually introduce himself to you before you can dislike him as easily as you did.

After 20 minutes of walking back to the main site, the sun had finally set and all the kids and counselors went back to their respective cabins before going to the lake for movie night.

"So you're telling me," Somi started,"after all these months of not liking him, he came onto you in the kitchen and you didn't refuse?"

"I know, I know it's humiliating," you grumbled putting on your shirt.

"Enemies to lovers. My favorite trope."

You let out a loud embarrassed groan listen to her words. "We only kissed twice. We didn't say anything to each other for the rest of the day," you added.

"Not even for your group," she questioned.

"Well of course we did, but very little. He was..so distant," you said. You slipped into your jean shorts and put your shoes back on quickly. "I'm gonna go make sure all the girls are ready." You got up and walked outside to see everyone playing around. Just as you were about to round up your cabin, you see Mark who's talking to some of his kids. You wanted to stop staring at him, but you couldn't. You gulped as he glanced at you, giving you a small wave. "I hate him," you muttered to yourself almost as if you were trying to convince yourself it was true.

You shake your head, attempting to push what happened out of the forefront of your mind, but it's hard to do that when he's walking up to you. You turn away from his direction, hastily gathering the girls from your cabin. Just as you were about to make your way to the lake, you were tapped on the shoulder. Turning around agonizingly slowly, you face him with a fake smile.

"Hi," you said awkwardly.

"Hey, so listen-"

"I can't talk right now, we're about to head to the lake," you interrupted.

"I know but-"

"Can't talk."

Mark sighed, looking down at his shoes. He knew you were difficult, but not like this. "Can we talk after the movie?"

"Talk..about what? There's nothing to talk about," you say dismissively.

Mark rolled his eyes, walking away from you. You looked behind yourself, watching him walk back with his hands in his pockets. All that you could hope for was him forgetting whatever conversation he wanted to have with you.

Your cabin was the first to get to the lake while Mark's was the last like always. The movie started at 7, so thankfully for you, you could be left alone for 2 hours. You leaned against a tree as you watched the movie projected on the sheet quietly.

Unlike you, Mark was watching you silently, eyes never leaving your body as you stared at the screen. He knew you wanted nothing to do with him even after he kissed you, but he wasn't going to let that stop him. He's never been in a situation like this before. Having to chase after you was starting to dampen his pride, but he liked it.

He watched as you whispered to Somi about something, not able to read your lips. Maybe he shouldn't have thought to follow you as you walked away from everyone, but getting to be alone with you came rare, so he had to take his chances.

"Hey, I'm gonna go back to the cabin. I forgot something," he whispered to Haechan.

"Okay, be quick though. I don't wanna be responsible for you," he replied.

Mark gave him a dry laugh and walked away, following you from behind. Mark picked up that you were going to your cabin after a few turns on the trail. The sun was starting to set, so he began to rationalize he weird actions to himself. "It's not weird that I'm following her," he muttered to himself quietly. "I'm just keeping her safe." It was surprising how you didn't notice anyone was following you. You were usually always attentive, but it seems that you were only that way with other people.

Soon enough, the both of you made it to your cabin. You went inside with a big sigh, letting the door slam behind you. Mark would be a kind person and knock on the doors but he wasn't all that kind, so scaring you is the option he went with. Mark quickly went up to the door, opening it quietly. Your back was turned as you rummaged through a bag for something, causing you to not hear his footsteps or the door creaking open.

"Boo!"

"Fuck," yelled, body jumping violently as you turned around. "Mark?"

"Surprise."

You scoffed rolling your eyes at his jazz hands motion. "You're not funny. Now get out, this is a girls cabin."

"I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to talk." He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms as you went back to looking for whatever you were looking for.

"I really don't care, just leave," you said sternly.

Mark had enough of beating around the bush with you, the constant teasing, and asking dumb questions. He had to know why there was bad blood between you, especially after you let him kiss you that morning. "Why don't you like me?"

"You're kidding." You let out a dry laugh as you turned to face him. "I don't like you? I'm pretty sure it's the other way around."

"I'm just curious because since last year, you never gave me a chance, so I really want to know," he said, lifting his brows with a small smile.

"I want you to tell me why you don't like me first, then maybe I'll consider explaining myself to you."

Mark took small steps towards you, not being able to control the smirk on his face when you furrow your brows in confusion. "You're uptight and rude to me. And you never give me your attention unless it's to be rude with me, and I hate that that's the only way I get to talk to you. You only want to speak to me if it's to tell me how bad of a job I'm doing or how frustrating it is to be around me or work with me."

"That's not true, I-"

"I'm not done." You closed your mouth, intimidated by how commanding his voice was. "Then you go around and say to everyone how much you hate me. I know you complain to Somi and all the other counselors, and that's fine. But next time I would like to hear it from you directly."

"That I hate you?" You gave him a weird look, making him chuckle softly.

"Yes. Tell me that you hate me." He was walking closer to you slowly, arms now at his sides as he looked down at you with hungry eyes. Your arms were still crossed as you stood there, not allowing yourself to show how intimidating he was to you. Your face was calm, but your heart was beating faster with every step he took.

"I'm not telling you I hate you. Can I talk now," you asked.

"Go for it."

"You're fucking annoying and not helpful. You came into this camp last year and made all these friends and everyone liked you instantly. Everyone says you're funny and such a great guy but I have yet to see it. All you've done since you've been here was piss me off."

"You wanna know why," he said. He leaned down to your ear, a smile tugging at his lips. "Because you're pretty when you're angry."

"That's not funny," you said, looking away from him.

"I wasn't joking." Mark moved away from you, eyes going straight to your lips.

"Seriously mark, I don't care that you like to get me riled up, but yesterday was uncalled for. Do you have any idea…will you stop staring at me like that?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Mark could barely concentrate on what you were saying. Your expression, the way you spoke, how close the 2 of you were. All he wanted was to just kiss you and shut you up for the night. Mark could barely keep his hands off you, every bit of self restraint coursing through his veins.

You sighed trying to back up from him, but all you did was bump the edge of your bed making you fall back. You plopped on the thin mattress placing your hand behind you to stay balanced on the bed. Mark's gaze turned dangerous, staring at you as if you were prey.

"God you're so hot," he mumbled.

"Mark," you said, his name coming out a bit breathlessly.

Before you could finish your sentence, he pinned your body to the bed. You were dead silent as you watched his eyes move rapidly along your face and body. "Mark..we can't. We have to be back soon."

"Stop fighting it. Just say you want me," he mumbled quietly. He leaned into your neck, breath tickling your skin as you closed your eyes.

You shook your head, brows furrowing as you tried to push the feeling to the back of your head. But the only thing you can think about is how his hands are leaving your wrists as he moves them down your body. Your breath hitched when his fingertips brushed against the slightly exposed skin of your stomach. You didn't stop him as he lifted your shirt, hands attaching to waist firmly.

The both of you stayed silent, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of breathing and your old bed creaking at every movement he made. You watched him as he moved his hands lower, fingers resting on the button of your jean shorts. Mark looked at you for any signs of you wanting to stop, but all he saw was the desperation on your face.

You gulped watching him unbutton and unzip your shorts, lifting your hips as he tugged them off you. Mark took his shirt off, laying it next to your shorts. He hooked his fingers on your underwear, pulling them off you quickly. You let out a small yelp when he tugs you towards him, throwing your leg over his shoulder as he moves between your legs.

'Just get on with it,' was all you could think. You were way too eager to get him between your legs, and at this point, nothing was going to stop it. "Hurry up," you said, breaking the long silence.

Mark didn't say anything or look at you, all he did was smile as his face disappeared between your legs. A small gasp of please leaves your lips as he kitten licks your core. You close your eyes, letting your head fall back onto the mattress taking in every movement. He ran his hand up and down your leg, nails lightly scratching your skin making you shiver. Needing more friction, you begin to grind yourself on his tongue slowly, but he stops you with a hold on your hips.

"We're gonna do this nice and slow okay," he said.

"We can't, we have to get back soon."

"They'll be okay. There's more than enough people out there." Before you could say anything his mouth was back on your core, tongue pressing against your sensitive bud hard. Without thinking your hands made their way to his hair, fingers running through the blonde locks. Mark kept licking at you agonizingly slow, chuckling when you whined for more. He would speed up at moments, flicking his tongue against your clit faster just to tease you, then stop.

"Please," you begged breathlessly, "it feels like I'm being punished."

"I know," he mumbled.

You smacked him on the side of his head softly, making the male look up at you with a brow raised. "I fucking hate you."

Mark chuckled, removing one of his hands from your hip. He didn't take his eyes off of you as he slid two fingers into you, pumping them slowly. Mark watched as you basically fell apart in his hands, moans never stopped spilling from your lips. He began licking your clit, but faster, almost sending you over the edge.

"Shit, don't stop," you whined softly. You couldn't control your hips as you grinded against his fingers and tongue. Your jaw dropped when he fingered you faster. Gripping his hair, your hips moved on their own as you grinded faster. You were so close, your core pulsing on his fingers. "Fuck I'm gonna cum," you whined.

Your whines became louder, the pornographic sounds of your moaning, bed creaking, and sounds coming from Mark filling the empty cabin. This is one the many times you thanked God no one was around. Your eyes rolled back and body shuddered as your orgasm hit you like a truck making you mumble curses that not even Mark could make out. You let go of his hair, plopping back down on your mattress breathing heavily.

"I'm assuming that was the first time you came in a month?" Mark slid his fingers out of you slowly, wiping the digits on your sheets. He moved your leg off his shoulder, lifting himself from between your legs.

"Do you think I'm getting myself off after hiking and being around kids in this damn camp everyday," you asked, rolling your eyes at his statement.

"No. I think you're too uptight to do that," he said with a soft chuckle.

"It's crazy that you're still calling me uptight like I won't get up and leave."

Mark didn't respond to you, laughing softly to himself knowing you wouldn't move either way. He moved off the bed untying his sweats. You watched him as he let his clothes fall to the ground, eyeing his body. Not that you couldn't get it before, but now you see why he was a big deal to the other female counselors.

"Aren't we gonna use protection," you asked, gulping when he was back in front of you.

"I don't have any," he mumbled.

"You're so fucking ridiculous," you grumbled. "You're lucky I'm on birth control."

Mark could barely hear you with how eager he was to see you lose yourself for him. No amount of mean words or insults could turn him off in the moment, every word you spoke sounded like exactly what he needed to hear. "You're so fucking hot when you're mad." His lids dropped as he grabbed your ankles, pulling you closer to him.

"Don't tease, we don't have all night," you whined.

Mark couldn't take his eyes off you as he lined himself with you, slowly entering you with ease. You looked pretty under the light of the setting sun peering through the window. The light hit your eyes perfectly as they rolled back, soft moans leaving your lips at the same time. Mark thrusted into you slowly holding your waist firmly. He wanted to savor the moment, finally able to get you under him, because even though he had you now, he might not ever get you again. It was taking everything in him to not ram into you after every move not wanting it to end too quickly.

With the way he was looking at you you thought he was gonna eat you alive. And in all honesty you would let him. It was conflicting to you that all this pent up aggression towards him exploded into sex, but you were clearly not that conflicted. You would never tell him, but you had always been attracted to him and the kiss was just the tip of the iceberg.

He slid his hands up the back of your legs, pinning them to your chest as he thrusted into you faster. Your moans echoed in the empty cabin, not even thinking about if anyone could be near. "Feels so good," you moaned.

"Who's making you feel good?"

"Fuck..you are," you whined, eyes fluttering shut as you take in pleasure.

"Good girl," he cooed. Mark watched as you slipped your hand between your legs, rubbing your clit at the same place as his thrust. His fingers were constantly kneading your legs, leaving prints in your skin. "You're close aren't you baby?"

You nodded fast, looking at him with desperate eyes. "Kiss me.. please."

Mark didn't have to think twice. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a heated kiss quite literally sticking his tongue down your throat. You sucked on the wet muscle, moaning loudly on his tongue every time he thrusted into you.

"Mark..fuck," you moaned softly. Mark took a hand off your leg, wrapping an arm on the small of your back pulling you closer to him. You kissed him again, moans and whimpers poured into his mouth.

Mark moaned softly against your lips as you squeezed around him, cumming on his length. You pulled away, your lewd sounds becoming louder as he didn't stop fucking you. Mark leaned down, kissing your neck messily as you clung onto his shoulder. Mark has never had this kind of passionate feeling with a person before. It was starting to feel like more than just a sexual attraction to him, maybe he did actually have feelings for you.

"Cum in me," you said cupping his face.

Mark looked at you, brows furrowing in uncertainty. "A-are you sure? I-"

"Please baby just cum for me," you mumbled, completely taken over by the pleasure spreading in your body. "Can you do that for me?"

"Anything for you," Mark breathed out. Your words went straight to his length, his pace speeding up as he felt himself closer to cumming.

Your jaw went slack, eyes rolling back as you felt another orgasm creeping up on you. "Y-you're gonna make me cum," you whimpered.

With just a few more thrust, both you and Mark came at the same time, loud moans and groans filling the space. Mark's body went limp, laying on top of you with his face buried on the side of your neck. No one said anything for a minute, just laid there in each other's embrace trying to catch your breaths.

"I guess you don't hate me after all," Mark joked, breaking the silence.

"Only a little less."

Mark snickered as pulled himself out of you slowly. "Let's get you something to clean up with." He got up and pulled his boxers and pants on. You were sure it was because you just had sex with him, but the way you looked at him was different now. Before you were completely annoyed by his presence, but now even the little faces he made were endearing. Of course, Mark would never stop being an infuriating person to talk to but maybe you like talking to him. Maybe you liked being around him this whole time.

"If you want to go for round 2 just say it." Mark walked back to you with tissues, handing them to you with a smile. He chuckled softly when you gave him a frown for his comment. "Back to hating me I guess."

"I don't hate you Mark," you admit. The words felt unnatural to you, but they were the truth. You don't hate him, and you don't think you ever did.

"I'd like it if you did though," he said, sitting on the edge of your bed. "If what we just did considered hate fucking, please hate me more."

You rolled your eyes, tossing the dirty tissues in the trash bin across the room. "Who said it was gonna happen again?" Mark watched you closely as you shimmied back into your underwear and shorts. "What? Is there something on my face?"

"Yeah." He stood up, pulling you to him, making you gasp softly. Mark kissed you deeply, smiling against your lips when you kissed him back. "We should get back. I think we've been gone too long," he mumbled.

You nodded, kissing him one more time before he pulled away from you agonizingly slow. "Please don't be weird when we get back. I don't want to have to hate you again," you joked.

"Didn't I just tell you I want you to hate me more?"

"What do you mean you fucked him last night," Somi whisper yelled.

"Yeah..I did..right on the bed you're sitting on."

"Ew ew ew." She shot up from your bed with a frown on her face, making you laugh loudly. "Seriously what is wrong with you, why didn't you say that before I sat down?"

"Thought your reaction would be funny, and it was," you'd aid giggling.

Somi looked at you with disgust on her face, dusting off her body. "Anyways…are you guys like..a thing now?"

"I don't know. I don't think so," you answered.

"Well do you wanna be a thing?"

"Well..I think I do," you admitted. "But I don't know him that well, you know. All I did was have sex with him. What if he doesn't want anything," you said.

"You want me to be honest?"

"Please do."

"I think you should go talk to him. Like right now," she suggested.

"Now? I don't even know if he's in his cabin," you stated.

"Just go. If he's not there, go back another time. You should talk to him while your feelings are still fresh," she suggested.

Somi was right. Even though you thought it was still a bit early to talk to him, you couldn't stop thinking about him all day and all night. Throughout the day, the both of you kept stealing glances, staring at each other but not saying a word. It's been hard trying to keep your bubbling feelings for him at bay, especially when you're working so close for the summer. But Somi was right, it wouldn't hurt to try.

You nodded, sighing softly. "You're right. I should go." You turned walking to the door, but when you opened it, Mark was standing there, hand up like he was about to knock.

"Oh," you said, surprised. "Hi."

"Hey," he said, looking everywhere but at you. "Can I, um, talk to you?"

"Uh, yeah. You wanna talk here or.."

"Just walk with me. Please?" You've never seen him so nervous or unsure before. It was kind of cute. You agreed, leaving the cabin and walking along the trail with Mark.

The first couple of minutes were silent. Neither one of you said anything. The only thing that could be heard were the sounds of your feet on the dirt trial and the laughter of children from afar. But it wasn't an awkward kind of silence. It felt comfortable, he felt comfortable and warm.

"I really like you Y/N," he started. "And I know it might be weird for you, but I just felt like you had to hear it."

His words went straight to your heart, making it beat faster with every syllable. You blinked fast, not really knowing how to respond. You were afraid of coming into him too strongly, saying something that would scare him away, but you had to say something.

"I..like you too," you confessed. Your face was beginning to heat up, palms becoming clammy from the nervousness. You haven't been like this since middle school, all shy and nervous.

"So..where should we go from here?" Mark raised a brow and looked at you. You glanced at him quick enough to not want to run away from the situation all together. He grabbed your hand, making you pause mid step. Your heart was beating so fast you could hear it at this point, and you were sure he could too.

"I, uh, I don't know," you stuttered.

Mark chuckled, clasping his fingers with yours. "I've never seen you so nervous."

"I'm not nervous." You don't know who exactly you were trying to prove that too, but it definitely wasn't him because as soon as you spoke he laughed.

"I think we should start over this summer," he said. "I think we should meet each other for the first time again."

You looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he started, turning to you. He stopped walking and tugged your hand to look at him. "I mean we should start again from a clean slate. I want to get to know you better on a good note, but only if you're willing."

You gulped looking down at your feet. You must've looked like a kid with the way mark was smiling down at you. "I..I would like that. I'd like that a lot actually." You looked at him, expression going from shy to worriedm. "I'm sorry for y'know being rude and everything."

Mark didn't say anything, allowing your words to linger for a moment before he leaned down and kissed you. The kiss was softer this time, more innocent. Mark pulled away with a small smile on his face. "You don't have to apologize to me for anything. I know I've been an ass, and I'm willing to make up for it."

It was hard to keep a smile off your face and stop yourself from blushing like a kid. "If we do this, will you stop talking to me once we're out of here," you asked.

"Y/N when I said I liked you I was serious. I don't want this to be a summer fling. I actually want to get to know you before I date you," he explained.

Your eyes went wide, completely flustered from his statement. "You want to date me?" Your heart fluttered repeating his words almost immediately, getting butterflies in your stomach. "But I've been so terrible to you and-"

"So? We like each other and we should explore that this summer."

You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips. You let go of his hand and placed it on the back of his neck, kissing him. This was the first time you kissed him. And it felt good. It felt good knowing that you didn't have to keep trying to convince yourself you didn't like him, or that you were never attracted to him. You pulled away, eyes never leaving the man in front of you. You didn't know if this conversation would make a difference for the rest of the day or the rest of the summers, but if Mark was true to a hate he said, you could wait.

But if not, then maybe you just might hate him for real.

#nct dream #nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct fanfic #nct smut #nct x reader #nct oneshot #mark #nct mark #mark scenarios #mark x reader #mark fanfic #mark smut #nct scenarios #mark oneshot

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moongothic · 1 year

Text

MY BLANKET OF DARKNESS HAS BEEN COMPLETED

✨👁️✨ I AM SO COZY NOW ✨👁️✨

So I started working on this blanket around June of 2022. Got like, maybe half-way through the blanket and then the yarn I needed for the blanket went out of stock at my local yarn shop. Now I didn't know the yarn would be completely unavailable for like 6 months (until the stop closed permanently), so I just kept on waiting, hoping for it to come back in stock-- but it never did, so in January I finally looked online if I could find the yarn elsewhere and I did, I got the yarn I needed, and finished the blanket. So it kinda took me 6 months to make this blanket but also not

What made this blanket a truly exciting and fun project for me is that this has been the first blanket I actually made for myself and designed for myself. Like I've enjoyed every single blanket project I've had so far, but having a blanket that's Just For Me is just. It's nice

I originally planned the granny squares out digitally because I wanted to have a fun pattern of different granny squares, something that wouldn't be too busy looking and was carefully planned, and here's what I came up with

I had two versions of the square pattern, one with moon phases right in the middle of it and another without them. I do like how the moon version looked and part of me kinda regrets not making that one, but I'm not sure the moons would have really gone well with the eyes... So I did go with the first version

(Sidenote, it's not on the pattern above but I added extra rows of just black squares at the top and bottom of the blanket, so there's two rows of black instead of just one)

(Sidenote 2, although I knew I wanted the blanket to be mostly black from the begining, I wasn't entirely sure what accent color I wanted to use, it really was depending on what colors the shop had available. Like I used yellow as kind of a default color since it worked nice with the stars and eyes, but I could've gone with some other color too. In the end, because I didn't like the color options for the yarn at the shop I ended up going with a yellow anyways) (Also I tested out a reverse color version with the pastel purple and white base and no eyes, just for funsies, it looks kinda neat)

But yeah, that's how the planning of the blanket went.

The blanket is made of 231 squares in total, 11x21 rows. 186 of the squares are plain black, the rest are patterned. The star squares were the worst to make because of how many strands of yarn I had to weave in, 0/10, would not reccommend.

I used the Cedro 100% wool yarn (reccomended hook size 5, 50g=100m), and it took me about 38 balls of yarn to finish the blanket (including crocheting all the squares together and doing a single round of double crochet around the blanket to finish it off)

This is literally all the yarn I have left from this blanket; one untouched ball of black and three partially used balls.

I gotta admit.

I'm kind of shocked by the size of the blanket. Like I very carefully measured it to make it the exact size to fit my bed, and it fits perfectly. But I'm still kinda shocked how big it is. (Which is why I didn't make the border of the blanket any bigger, even though I could've with the yarn I have)

Also

It's HEAVY

Like, of course it's heavy, it's 100% wool and thick, but MAN I didn't expect it lmao

But that kind of makes it perfect for cold winters especially, it's super warm and the weight makes it cozy- like who needs a weighted blanket when you can have one of these lmao

Now I just need to figure out how to protect the blanket from being covered in my white cat's hair...

#Yarncraft Diary #Yarncraft #Crochet #Crochetblr #Yarnblr #Emotionally I classify this as a 2022 project even though I didn't finish it until this year #No I did not block the squares before putting the blanket together #I was planning on just ironing the squares to flatten them out but I noticed last minute that...#...the yarn doesn't reccommend it be ironed so. I didn't want to risk ruining it #And I don't really have a blocking board or anything so I just had to let it go #I could probably just hang the blanket on the clothesline in the shower and the weight of it...#...on top of whatever moisture there might be in the air would probably straighten the blanket out a bit #So it wouldn't ''buckle'' the way it does now #But ehhh it's fine #I don't mind it really

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i-like-writing-stuff · 2 years

Text

retirement [five hargreeves x reader]

a/n: hi guys! it’s been a while hehe, so i hope ull enjoy this short x reader with the one and only five yall know i love sm, homeboy did not disappoint this season neither lmao. season 3 just premiered and i already have finished it:(

can i just say

WHAT THE ACTUAL FVUCK

either way, id b happy to discuss with yall opinions and such and also feel free to leave requests!

ill leave warnings at the beginning of each imagine if it shall be the case

i.e. this imagine takes place right in the first episode!!

also, forgive my english, havent really spoken in a while and dont even get me started on the writing

enjoy besties!

summary: now that the second apocalypse is over, five and y/n can finally retire and maybe finally make their moves?

“You know, Five... Sometimes I do wish I’d never met you,” You took a sip from your wine, watching as the preteen in question rolled his eyes playfully at you.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a delight as well, Y/N,” He nonchalantly dismissed you, continuing to eat his Chinese takeout.

After surviving not one, but two apocalypses alongside Five Hargreeves and his siblings, you guys wound up back in your timeline, only to find out your trip to the 60s caused some changes in the present, such as Sir Reginald Hargreeves deciding against adopting Luther, Diego, Klaus, Ben, Allison, Viktor and Five, and instead some seven other dickheads with superpowers.

Your encounter was far from pleasant.

Six months ago you were planning to retire from the Commission, since you were almost sixty and had had your fair share of missions, so you figured one last task with your partner, Five, would be the good way to end things. Well, one thing led to another and instead of taking out JFK, you woke up in 2019, in your preteen body, in an unknown backyard with unknown people, who turned out to be your partner’s siblings.

One thing led to another and you guys bonded over the span of 10 days in an attempt to save the world, but that is a story for another time.

After those 10 days, you time traveled once again and woke up in 1963, alone, in a school. Some teacher found you and took you in, thinking you were a lost 13 year old girl, but then again, that is a story for another time.

Six months passed until you reunited with the Hargreeves siblings in yet another attempt to save the world.

Two more weeks and you were back in 2019, but things did not go according to plan.

“Still don’t understand how you two have not banged yet,” Klaus shook his head disappointed, as Diego and Luther couldn’t help but not in agreement.

You tried not to blush, but Klaus’ bluntness always got the best of you. Spending this time with Five on top of being a teen again took a toll on you. You’ve known Five for long before the apocalypse. When the Handler recruited him, she trusted you to be his partner, since you were basically her right hand. The bickering was there even back then, but these past six months you started seeing him with different eyes, in a different light.

“I’d rather choke on chopsticks,” You were quick to deny any indecent thought, “You’re sick, by the way.”

“And you’re sixty, so bye,” Klaus smirked, hopping from his stool.

“Too retired to even bother,” Five shrugged his shoulders, watching as his two other brothers followed Klaus.

“I’m gonna get more food,” Luther lightly shrugged his shoulders, making his way to the buffet.

“I refuse to third wheel 13 year olds,” Diego stated, scratching the back of his neck.

You watched confused as the three men all left the table, leaving you alone with Five, who did not seem bothered at all.

“I’ll never get used to your brothers,” You shook your head, taking another sip from your wine, “You people are too much.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Five scoffed, watching as you were playing with your glass.

“So, retirement, huh?” You changed the subject, “What are your plans now that the world is safe?”

“I didn’t think much of it, to be honest,” Five shrugged, “Weren’t you supposed to retire after the JFK mission? What did you have in mind?”

You smiled softly, looking at your wine, “I was gonna buy a mansion in Italy, 1970s or so... maybe get a dog and cat, start producing my own wine... I don’t know, I didn’t plan much.”

“Of course there’s a lot of wine in your retirement plans,” Five smirked, as you playfully smacked his arm, “Ow!”

“You’re officially banned from visiting me in Italy,” You stated, biting back a chuckle.

“I wouldn’t have wanted to anyway,” Five lightly shrugged his shoulders, not once dropping his smirk, “Besides- you wouldn’t last a day without me.”

“Excuse you?” You scoffed, placing your hand on top of your chest for a more dramatic effect, “Last I checked, you were the one who dragged me along this whacky adventure.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I knew you’d be devastated at the Commission without me,” He replied with the same cocky air as usual, which made you ponder on the situation.

Is this Five’s way of flirting with you? During the time you spent together ever since operation Doomsday started back in the original timeline of 2019, there may have been a few... interesting moments to say the least. Like when he first opened up to you about being worried sick for his siblings, or when he gave you the tightest embrace after reuniting with you in 1963. There was also that time when you two held hands on your way to meet his father.

Moments like these that you couldn’t help but cherish with utmost happiness, but not once letting yourself get sidetracked. There was an apocalypse going on, neither of you had time for this.

But now?

Now there’s no apocalypse anymore. Granted, there still are some issues that would be best to fix, but it’s not like they’d bring the end of the world if not.

So, why not?

“If I didn’t know you any better, Five Hargreeves,” You smirked, leaning in closer to the boy, with your glass of wine in one hand, “I’d say you are flirting with me.”

Five shook his head amused, watching you sip your precious wine so close to him. If the wine was intoxicating you, you definitely were the one intoxicating him. It took him some while before he could accept that he had feelings for you, but he couldn’t say either that he was surprised when he realized.

He really felt like you were absolutely perfect, no doubt in his mind.

“And would that bother you?” Five raised a brow, resting his arm on the back of your chair, leaning in even closer.

“I can’t say it would be unpleasant,” You set down your wine, curious to see where this would go.

“You’re such a tease, Y/N,” Five rolled his eyes, “But... I wouldn’t want you any other way.”

“Will you just kiss me already?” You sighed, watching a genuine smile appear on his lips, as he leaned in, connecting your lips at last.

You cupped his face, melting into the long-awaited kiss. On one hand, you couldn’t believe this was finally happening, and on the other hand, you couldn’t believe this was actually happening. You and Five were finally done with apocalypses, trying to save the world and the Commission.

You could officially both retire.

“Does this mean I can visit you in Italy?” He whispered, as you two pulled away from the kiss, but still painfully close to one another.

“Ah, who can’t last a day without the other now?” You smirked, pulling him into another kiss.

#five x reader #five hargreeves #number five x reader #number five imagines #five hargreeves x reader #tua x reader #tua season 3 #The Umbrella Academy #the umbrella academy x reader

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spidrstar · 10 months

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HE AINT SHIT pt 1.

★ pairings: aged up e!42 miles!morales x latina!reader

★ slowburn? maybe?? idk.. (prob not) characters are 18+ in this story they’re in their mid twenties. mentions of going to the club

★ warnings: as i write this story it will be slightly suggestive in some parts, if that bothers u dni.. LMAO

★ a/n: pls enjoy i put a lot of effort into this 🥹 i’ll be adding a link to a playlist i made you could listen to when reading abt miles lmk what y’all think.

★ summary: You’re tired of a sad excuse of a man you call your boyfriend making empty promises, so one night you decide not to let your time out go to waste and you step into a club. Someone catches your eye, and maybe your number too.

★ part 2

mwah

“Had a chance you still never came through

You say you wanna come see me

‘Cause your girlfriend wanna be me, uh”

- long way 2 go : cassie

Mouthing these lyrics you look up and smile at yourself in the mirror, clipping on your gold hoops in between your ear lobes. Absolutely loving your look tonight, it only made your smile grow wider knowing exactly what this look was for.

A date

It had been a while since you’ve gone on a date, your last date was about a month ago since you started dating your boyfriend, Kole. You had started to think he really wasn’t taking your relationship seriously after the 3rd time he stood you up, but 2 nights ago he smothered you in kisses and had promised you he would make it up to you by quote on quote ‘rocking your world’ tonight. The thought only making you chuckle lightly.

So of course you being the girl you are, you made sure you looked your best tonight. You had wore your newly bought two piece red lace set from victoria’s secret, not only that but you basically showered yourself in your veryyy expensive perfume. You made sure this night was going to be perfect. You finished curling your hair the way Kole liked and twisted the cable around the curling iron, leaving it out on your desk to cool down.

You clipped on your gold necklace with your name written in cursive and took one last look at your makeup close up, making sure it hadn’t creased. You tapped on your phone with a freshly manicured acrylic, the screen reading 7:40 pm. Your date was at 8 o’clock and you made sure you were going to be there on time. You stood up from your vanity and headed to your shoe rack and picked out your black heels, stepping into them you grab your black Kate Spade purse and headed towards the door.

Keys in hand, you tap your phone noticing you had 10 minutes left to be there on time. You rush into the elevator down the hall and press the 1A button. As you walked out of your building you rummage through your keychains finding your car keys and pressing the unlock button. 6 minutes left, you drove over to the new Italian restaurant that opened up down the block. Luckily for you, there was a parking spot right in front of the restaurant waiting for you. You paid for the parking spot and headed in, taking a quick look at your travel size mirror making sure you looked as cute as you did when you stepped out the house.

You headed in, making sure the lady at front seated you in your reserved seat you asked for a cup of water. Your mouth felt dry because for some reason you felt nervous, it has been a while since you’ve been out on a fancy date so maybe you forgot the feeling. You waited what felt like 10 minutes, the cup already empty you tapped your phone on the table and it read 8:10 pm. You unlocked it and pressed imessage. You felt slight anger and sadness, in high hopes of Kole not pulling the same shit he does on every date. Sending half angry messages, you checked the last message he had sent you was at 2:30 pm. You scoffed and thought, ‘Huh, guess that’s how much i truly mean to him.’

my love❣️: where are you??

my love❣️: Kole te lo juro, if i don’t see you walk through the entrance in the next 5 minutes.

my love❣️: I can’t believe you’re doing this shit again.

You set your phone down sighing, your lips curling down into a slight frown. You decided to wait it out, hoping he was playing some sick joke on you. More than a few minutes had passed and you tapped your phone again, this time it read 8:38 pm. You got up from your seat angrily, heading towards the front desk lady letting her know you would be leaving. You stormed out of the restaurant, you were so eager to try their food and your ‘boyfriend’ stood you up again. You had put so much effort into getting ready for him tonight, really believing he would keep his promise. Heading to your car a thought popped into your head, glancing across the street and reading a sign that read Starry Nights in neon blue. You glanced back at the time you had paid for your parking, and you had plenty of time left.

You basically speed walked to the club entrance, you weren’t going to let all your effort go to waste. You stepped into the club scanning for a bar, as you so desperately needed a drink to drown the sadness from being stood up for the 4th time. You pushed your way through once you had spotted it and sat down with a sigh, asking the barista for the strongest drink they had. While waiting you took in your surroundings, noticing all the different color dimmed lights. Watching all the people dancing closely against each other you had the urge to go and let loose but you didn’t. You held back, you weren’t reallyy in the mood and the last thing you needed was some creep trying to take you home.

You turned around checking if the barista was done with your drink, but had noticed they were making other orders too. So whilst you kept patiently waiting, you picked up your phone and checked your notifications in hopes of Kole answering. Oh how wrong you were, you read ‘no new notifications’ and closed your eyes and let out a long breath you didn’t even know you were holding in. What you needed was something, someone to distract you from this situation before you started bursting out into tears. No matter how angry you were, you knew you were still hurt.

Glancing to the side searching for a distraction you notice a tall dark skinned male with two braids flowing down his neck, interested you eye the rest of him down and he wore black cargo pants with a plain black t-shirt complimented by a silver chain, a purple zip up accompanying it and a pair of limited edition air jordans.

You quickly drag your eyes back up in hopes of catching what his face looked like, instead you hear the barista place your drink in front of you. You turn your head giving them a smile uttering out a quick ‘Thank you’ and turning back around. The barista seemed to have been making both yours and his order at once because he also had a freshly poured drink in his grip.

Your eyes glistening with anticipation wanting oh so bad to see what this man looked like. He finally turned his head enough for you to get a view of his side profile, a fresh fade and a shiny silver stud clinging onto his earlobe complimenting his strong jawline and cute dimples. He smiled at the barista and turned his head in your direction, you quickly diverted your attention elsewhere taking a sip from your cup nervously.

He grinned at your reaction and spoke up, “You here by yourself nena?” you perked up and turned to look at him again surprised by his low husky voice. “Yeah,” you say with a hint of embarrassment and sadness, you stared at the ground. He turned his body full attention on you eyeing you up and down. If looks could kill you would probably be dead by now from the way his half hooded eyes stared at you. His grin slightly grew, “And whys that? Te ves demasiado bella para que estés aquí sola.” A slight giggle escaped your lips at that comment and you looked up at him again, “Bueno, let’s just sayy someone made empty promises. I got stood up.” He scoffed as if he didn’t believe you.

“Some balls you gotta have to do that to a girl like you. What’s your name preciosa?” You smile at the nickname he gave you, moving slightly closer you answered. “Y/N, and yours?” his hand found its way to your waist gripping it slightly. Looking at you eyes half lidded he answered, “Miles.” You stared at his lips, even the way he said his name was attractive. You both stared at each other for what felt like 20 seconds and got lost in the moment, leaning closer into each other, lips inches apart. That was until you snapped out of it and thought, ‘i have a boyfriend i can’t be doing this.’ You had just realized how close you both were and turned your head to the side slightly moving his hand from your waist.

Even though you were mad and didn’t want to admit it in that moment, you still loved Kole and you weren’t sure if you really wanted to throw your relationship down the drain just like that for a guy you had just met. As good as he looks you wouldn’t be able to do it just like that, maybe Kole would redeem himself.

“I—I can’t, i have a boyfriend.” He seemed unamused and furrowed his brows, gently grabbing your chin he turned it back towards him making you look up. “Don’t do that mami, he obviously ain’t givin’ you the attention you deserve.” He glanced at your lips leaning closer towards your neck, the musky smell of his cologne filling up your nostrils. As hard as you were trying to resist you found yourself giving in, muttering out a low “You don’t know that.”

Pulling you closer by the waist he leaned down and whispered in your ear, “I do. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.” You subconsciously moved closer and from there he placed soft kisses down your neck. One hand resting on the side of his neck, you let your head fall back and let a low moan slip. That sound was all it took to bring you back to reality, you slightly pushed him back.

At this point, the thought of Kole had slipped your mind, at the back of your head you knew if he wasn’t going to fulfill your needs and treat you right someone else definitely would. His free hand snaked up your thigh as he spoke softly, “I’m what you need ma, just lemme prove it to you.” You hesitated, not sure if this was the right thing to do. “I don’t know, i really love him and—“ That was until you felt his hand go higher, cutting you off “Say yes, mami.”

Biting your lower lip you gave in, “Alright, fine just give me a few days to think.” you slipped out your phone and passed it to him. He grinned saving his contact in your phone, with that he placed another sweet kiss on your neck. “See you Friday, mi amor.” he said, as if ignoring what you had just said. His hands moving away from your body, a low whine escaped your lips at the lingering feeling as he disappeared into the crowd.

On your way out the club you had so many thoughts racing through your head. You felt so dizzy, you had only taken one sip from your drink and it still had an effect on you. Tapping on your phone, the screen read 10:47 pm, you also had 5 messages from Kole from about an hour ago and 3 missed phone calls and 2 missed FaceTime calls. You rolled your eyes thinking, ‘Now he decides to care.’

You got into your car and rested your head on the steering wheel for a few minutes trying to wait out your pounding headache and the pain you felt coming from the heel of your feet. Turning your head to the side, sighing with closed eyes you opened them back up. Glancing back at your phone, you saw his name.

Miles.

★ translations: te lo juro - i swear || te ves demasiado bella para que estés aquí sola - you look too beautiful to be here alone || bueno - well, good (in this case it’s used as well) || preciosa - precious

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iamacolor · 4 months

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2023 sewing projects - part 1 details at the end of the post (click here for part 2)

Note: I work for a fabric shop so I get most of my fabrics for free as well as some patterns as I have to be wearing our products at work (I definitely consider it a perk). Without this job I would not be sewing as much and I'd probably be buying most of my fabric second hand or on sale as I used to do before. I also sometimes sew during work hours so keep that in mind if you're also a sewist, go at your own rythm 💜 Although I have basic training in pattern drafting I prefer to sew from pre-existing patterns to save on time (as i have to regularly make myself some new clothes for work) and discover new techniques and styles - but I often change stuffs to adapt the designs to my style.

1 - first outfit for my friend's wedding (this one was for the henna night), it's made in a linen-viscose blend and it's very easy and quick to make + i can easily wear each piece separately!

2 - second outfit for my friend's wedding made out of 100% silk muslin (it was a big remnant i found on sale) - i ended up making made a lot of changes from the base pattern: i lenghtened the sleeves a lot, i changed the skirt piece as the og one was too short for me and also too wide for my narrow fabric so i just cut rectangles in the desired length and gathered everything at the waist - the skirt is fully lined both in silk and in lining fabric - I also took a lot in at the middle back and some on the sides (i would've have loved to make a toile but sadly a nasty tendinitis kept me away from sewing for a few months so i had to speed things up before the wedding)

3 - i made this bodysuit last week - it was my first time working on a knit fabric in a while and i should have lenghtened it a bit more than i already did as the shoulder seams are being slightly pulled back - in a viscose/polyester milano knit + modified pants from a magazine in a viscose , large pants in fluid fabrics like that are great for all seasons as i can easily put some tights on underneath when it's too cold. I'm so glad i found a knitted fabric to match the print on the pants!

4/5 - this dress and blouse have the same base pattern from the same book but i modified the end of the sleeves on both (they were supposed to be gathered on a wrist band and closed with buttons) to create a ruffle effect with an elastic - on the dress i took out the collar piece and slightly adjusted the side seams to make them more fitting + i traced another skirt piece based on the back of the skirt in pic1 and added a ruffle at the bottom - the dress is made in a viscose twill and the top in a coton double gauze

6/7 - both of these tops are made from the same pattern, i simply lenghtened the sleeves for the checkered version and on both i tightened the sleeve band - it's a very quick pattern to make. The dotted one is made from a very fine coton corduroy and the checkered one is in a coton double gauze. The pants are made in a thicker corduroy, I'm very much in between sizes when it comes to pants (depending on the brands I cover around 4 sizes between my waist and my thighs at their thickest) I ended up cutting the size for my thighs and simply deepening the folds and the darts to make it fit at the waist + I wanted a loser fit on the legs so i added 1cm on each side

8 - this shirt is made in a linen and viscose blend (same fabric as the pink matching set) except for the contrasting blue elements which are in linen-coton - i had fun playing with the classic shirt finishing and deciding what to do in blue (the buttonholes are threaded in blue!)

9/10 - this top is made from a simple coton gauze, the bodice is lined with the same fabric (super quick to make although the fact that the right and wrong side are the same means i've put in on wrong at least twice lmao) - the pants are made in coton gabardine (i've also had to trace between sizes here - this is a us sizes pattern and for this i'm in between 6 and 10 with a slight redrawing of the crotch and the side seams under the pockets) I love this pattern because it comes in a slim legs version, a straight one, a wide version (this one) and a short version. I've made another large version in orange and a slim version in white.

11 - these pants are made in a coton-linen twill - pretty straightforward in their making, as always I am in between sizes for pants so I cut a size 10 (can't remember if this was in us or uk sizes)and ended up having to do my usual changes for pants by deepening the front folds and the back darts (which I also had to make longer to accomodate not just for my waist circumference which is 2 sizes smaller than my thighs but also the arch of my back). Really like how large the belt is and how the fold is pressed all the way down the leg. I wore it with the green top, a red jacket and gold shoes for christmas eve!

#aleks if you're seeing this you're kind of an inspo for the last look it's just that I don't wear black #also if anyone wants more details on which patterns i used let me know!#vinformation #my sewing #i should start tagging that #i'll make another sewing post with the outfit i didn't take pics of yesterday #i either forgot about them or already liked the pics i had of them #sewing #crafts

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rubydubydoo122 · 11 days

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Hi, anom from recently who binge-read most of IEU:SIR. I finally read the No Capes AU. Thank you for putting so much fluff before the death and making the death relatively short in comparison.

I love how Dick still had no clue about the vitiligo. It's so funny.

Bruce's speech even made me teary-eyes. But more than that, the hug. That simple line "Whole. Jason felt whole"

And how AU!Dick sees Robin has something to share with them, when Jason just found out the origin of the name Robin.

I took a look at the next chapter and O.O WOW how many words are those? I don't think I can read all that in a single day. Heck, not even in two day.

But yes, I love No Capes AU and really wholesome chapter

Thank you so muchh for reading!!! I know it's a heavy story, and honestly, it's getting hard writing death after death after death, so I can't even imagine reading it. (I will a couple months after finishing writing the fic and I come back to read my own work with fresh eyes.)

It's just a funny little gag. Like Dick is super smart and competent, but "Jason? White streak? Must be from Magic."

I knew this chapter was going to HIT when I started crying while writing the speech. Cus I literally haven't cried over my own writing since.... I think the Toddler Jason chapter, because writing that completely desensitized me.

And Jason feeling like he finally has a support system is where I was getting to this entire fic. It's a subplot lmao.

I'd like to think that since No Capes AU Dick (and Bruce) probably went to therapy, instead of punching bad guys at night, and he's basically been Cass's older brother since he was 10, he would be more open to the whole family and siblings idea. And I don't think Normal Dick ever had a problem with sharing Robin, it wasn't Bruce's to give away, and that's why he was somewhat upset. But it was never with Jason.

The four AUs I had vividly in mind since the beginning were the Toddler AU, the No Capes AU, the AU you're currently reading, and the Last AU which I'm not gonna say anything about just yet because I still haven't started writing it

The chapter "A Better Ressurection: Part one" Is basically a third of the word count. It's 23,000 (give or take) out of 60,000 and that's not even the entire AU 😭😭😭😭. It's super long, because they're in that universe for much longer than they are for most of the other ones, and there's just a lot of info I need to stuff in there and space out just so that it isn't rushed and the foreshadowing doesn't feel glaringly obvious (it still is kinda obvious tho lmao) Lowkey, I've been hinting at this AU since the first chapter, but I barely remembered that I did that, so...

I loved the no Capes AU too. It was like the other married Talia and Bruce AU but even more family vibes.

#jason todd #batman #batfam #dc comics #red hood #dick grayson #bruce wayne #damian wayne #ask me questions #ask me anything #asks #ask

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lovejosephquinn · 1 year

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hii! can i request a joe quinn x reader? something super angsty, maybe where the reader wants to break up and he refuses to accept it and is like begging her to stay?

I want to make this sting, I apologise in advance

Oh and by the way, I'm sorry if my angst isn't great, I'm not used to writing it lmao

Read Part 2 Here. ◀◀◀

This had been a long awaited battle, Joe had finished filming a week early somewhere in the states and you'd been so excited to have him back by your side, you'd not seen your boyfriend for a couple of months, arranging a date night as soon as he'd got back as a surprise, planning everything, making it special. Then came the excuses. Another couple of weeks went by and there was still no sign of him returning home.

'I've got to stay a little longer, love. I'm sorry.'

'I won't be coming home this week. I'll call you soon.'

'I'm sorry I've not called, I've been so busy.'

'Sorry I forgot to text you today.'

And chances were when he did text you on the rare occasion, you were fast asleep due to the time difference. This was unlike Joe, he'd usually be blowing up your phone and that's how you knew something clearly wasn't right. The list became endless, the calls and the messages became less, every reply became more blunt and it had really gotten to you, it was like he didn't care anymore, the pushing away took you to the edge.

This was a solid relationship of two years falling into a dark abyss, then came the day when you hit the roof. Scrolling through twitter, you came across a post on Joe's hashtag. It pictured him stood with a girl in a familiar pub in London looking rather cosy, not fan cosy, personally cosy. "What the fuck?" your raised voice echoed across the walls of your flat as you sat up from where you laid on the sofa, screaming internally at the picture. You knew it was recent because Joe was wearing the leather jacket you'd bought him for his birthday, had he been back in London without telling you? How, what, when?

You tried to call him instantly, no answer. Shock.

You threw your phone onto the coffee table, sat twisting your silver promise ring that Joe got you which had remained on your middle finger for almost a year, tears strained your eyes and a million thoughts rapidly shot through your mind, your heart beating twice it's normal rate. So you decided to go to his flat to check, you could've had this all wrong, for the thin ice that the relationship was wobbling on at this moment, you'd seriously hoped you had.

You sat at your steering wheel, staring up to the window of Joe's flat. The light was on, not much sign of life from what you could see from the high up view but needless to say, there was definitely someone there. As you took the hasty steps up to his front door, you knocked and within 10 seconds the door answered. There he was.

"Y/N, I didn't expect you."

"Could say the same." you folded your arms, tapping your fingers against it.

"I wanted to surprise you but I-"

"How long have you been back?" you flat out interrupted.

"Not long, love. I was going to call you." That's not the answer you were looking for.

"Are you going to let me in?" You moved yourself closer to the front door and Joe instantly moved it fully open, gesturing you inside.

Joe tried to envelope you in a hug, simply like nothing had happened but before you reciprocated you wanted the full truth to be out in the open. "Can I ask you something?" The words shot out of your mouth before you could even think.

"Sure love, what's on your mind?"

"Can you explain this?" You pulled out your phone with a print screen of the picture you'd witnessed earlier on.

Joe sighed, he could've lied but was quickly realising you knew the honest truth.

"I've been back a couple of days, I was catching up with an old friend who was on the same flight back as me."

"Are you for real? So you didn't think to call me, text me let me know you'd landed home safely, instead you decide to go have some drinks with this 'old friend'? Do you expect me to believe this crap?"

You pushed Joe out of arms reach, he tried to step back forward but you moved back when he did.

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? Is that all you have to say?!" You shouted back at him, your blood was boiling and your tears were filling under your eyelids, staining your eyes making them glisten. Joe said nothing.

"Weeks Joseph. Weeks I've gone without barely hearing a thing. Weeks I've gone without hearing that you miss me or that you love me, weeks I've gone without clearly not being thought about. That's not my Joey, that's a fucking stranger." You scoffed at his inability to make a sentence. "I'm done."

"So that's it, you're letting go?" Joe protested, halting you and standing in your way from letting you walking out the front door.

"There's nothing left to let go of, I've been trying to hold on to hope for weeks."

"So what did you come for?" Joe's voice hitched.

"The truth and I got it with pretty much no explanation, but there's none needed now." Your tears streamed down your face, you wiped them away attempting to stay strong, also striving to get Joe out of the way so you could leave, but he'd become like he was made of iron, he wasn't letting you go now.

"Y/N, I'm sorry for what I've done. Nothing happened with her if that's what you're thinking, I'd never hurt you like that."

"Well I'm glad you didn't and honestly? I believe it. But what's not okay is the ignorance, the waste of two years of my life spent with someone who I believed thought the world of me but instead as I said proved to be more of a stranger this last month."

"I have a job to do Y/N."

"You'd done your fucking job, god knows what you were doing or where you were swanning off too, but it surely was enough to keep your attention to not be able to take 5 minutes out of your day to let me, your girlfriend know you were busy. I was the last to know everything and that's extremely shit of you." Joe attempted one last time, lunging forward to kiss you, as if that'd make it all better. That was when you slapped him square in the jaw. His hand caught the sting, looking down to the floor, his eyes returning sorrowfully to yours.

"Fuck you." you grimaced.

"Y/N, I love you, please can we work this out?"

"Correction Joseph, you loved me, there's a difference."

You could almost pinpoint the moment you saw Joe's heart break, mirroring your own shattered organ.

"That's not fair, I still love you as much as I did before I left. I'm begging you. I can't lose you." Joe fell to his knees, gripping onto your hands as he began to sob, the noises he mustered were just low whimpers, his brown eyes burned through yours, his bottom lip trembling.

"Then why did you let yourself push me away?" You tried to ignore his regret, keeping to your guns and not letting him win this.

"Because I'm a fucking fool that's why."

"You can say that again." You knew you shouldn't have, but the sarcastic bark of laughter that erupted from your lips was something you couldn't help per his last reply.

"Actions have consequences, you broke my heart and now I'm breaking yours right back. If that makes me a bad person, so be it. You want me? Fight for me."

"What do you think I'm doing right now? I'm on my knees for you Y/N, please don't leave me. I'll make it up to you, I promise. I love you so much."

"Then why did you lie to me, why did you ignore me?"

"I just got caught up in being offered to see the city I was in by one of the cast members I worked with, he kindly did it and then I had to do a couple of interviews and press. I should've been more clear."

"And then lying to me, you've been back here at least a few days Joe, why didn't you let me know?"

"I was going too."

"But you didn't."

Joe shook his head, it hung lowly to the ground now like a child being told off by a grown up.

"No I didn't."

You managed to rip your hands from his grip, taking off your promise ring and throwing it down onto his lap.

"Y/N, your ring, no! Don't!"

"Step one is admittance Joe, step two is acceptance. I need to sleep on this shit. I love you but you've seriously hurt me, something I never expected of you."

"Baby, please." He tried to reach for you again.

"Don't. You know where I'll be. If you seriously want to save this relationship, if you're really sorry. You'll be at my flat tomorrow with a full apology, a full reasoning and full knowledge that you'll never do this to me again then I might slowly start to forgive you. As for the ring, it was a promise you'd love me forever and that's a direct quote from the man I thought I knew."

"I won't do this again."

"Actions speak louder than words, Quinn. Prove it."

You had no more to say, at least for tonight. You waltzed past him, leaving him flat on his knees, he didn't fight back to keep you in his presence this time; truly defeated. Bellowing into his hands, the last thing you hear was him call out your name before walking out the door. For good? Who knew. Even though he'd done wrong. You still loved him.

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obrother1976 · 7 months

Note

can u make like. ur top 10 books. freak books. anything. kisses your brain

sure!! these r not gonna be ranked bc god knows i could never choose between them & also im gonna be annoying and ramble a bit about every one

death in venice by thomas mann (classic. but its so rich w metaphors and symbolism. if you do read it, i'd recommend reading "the uses of myth in death in venice" by isadore traschen afterwards, bc it does a great job explaining all the freudian allegories and mythological symbolism and u'll literally be tearing ur hair out afterwards over how brilliant thomas mann was)

the carnivorous lamb by agustín gómez-arcos (idc that i've already talked about this a gajillion times on here. its literally the best book i've ever read. i'll forever be obsessed and i wish there was literally anything that could ever hit as hard as this did. if u read it, anon (if u havent already) dont go through the carnivorous lamb tag on here bc u need to experience this without any big prior knowledge. trust me)

erotism: death and sensuality by george bataille (ik im just listing the classics atp. but how could i ever leave that one out. this ones a lot and depending on how into bataille & philosophy in general u are it could be too much. but if u havent already read this one anon, just read the introduction. trust me ure gonna loose it from that alone)

gemini by michel tournier (this one... took me ages to get through it on my first read bc of the way its written, but it was so worth it. not even gonna say much about this one - its basically like if twins by bari wood was good lmao)

incest: from a "journal of love": the unexpurgated diary of anais nin, 1932-1934 (or every anais nin diary ever in general, but this one especially. there was just no one that got it quite like she did)

indecent theology: theological perversions in sex, gender and politics by marcella althaus-reid (sorry for literally recommending theory. im pretty sure u were asking for fiction lol, but this (& althaus-reid in general) is everything to me. if u've any interest whatsoever in theology u should check this one out)

the sluts by dennis cooper (slightly controversial opinion i think? not that the book itself is controversial, just that dennis cooper is very hit and miss at times. this book tho, definite hit. its so intense and convoluted and i loved every second of it. read this before death and sensuality and u're guaranteed to think of nothing else for at least a month)

querelle of brest by jean genet ("those knock-out body fluids: blood, sperm, tears!". kind of a classic since theres also the fassbinder movie but i prefer the book tbh. its been a while since i've read it but it'll forever be in my favourites)

crash by j.g. ballard (yeah ik we've all seen crash but i need more ppl to read the book. hold on actually i need to insert one of my favourite bits from it here:

Reaching through the fractured windshields and passenger windows around me, I marked my semen on the oily instrument panels and binnacles, touching these wound areas at their most deformed points.)

ada, or ardor: a family chronicle by vladimir nabokov (one of the most beautiful books i've ever read. probably not the most helpful recommendation bc im pretty sure its a classic but i cant not mention it.)

also some bonus recommendations of books that didnt make the list bc they're either not freak books or bc i havent read them yet:

christopher and his kind by christopher isherwood (not a freak book. not even remotely. but will forever have a special place in my heart.)

the sparrow by maria doria russell (read this one anon!!! this would be on the list, but im not fully finished w it yet so i cant officially put it in my top 10 yet)

exquisite corpse by poppy z. brite (havent read that one yet but its on my list!!)

autobiography of red by anne carson (not a freak book. beautifully written, a work of art really)

as meat loves salt by maria mccann (havent read that one yet. hoping its as good as everyone says)

skagboys by irvine welsh (one thing about me is that i'll always find a way to mention the trainspotting books)

#u guys r feeding my ego big time w these media asks.#i love doing lists ngl. just waiting patiently until the 'top 10 favourite academic papers?' ask drops lmao #also mwah <3 @ u anon. kissing u for that ask #oh also anon: if u havent already read carnivorous lamb and decide to check it out - u neeeed to listen to velvet voices by townes van zand #while reading it. theres no bigger reason behind that. its just that i listened to it on loop while reading #and that was literally a spiritual experience #ask

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dvskf4llz · 1 month

Note

Heyo! i totally forgot to request this (i meant to like 2 months ago but i got shy and back out lmao) would it be okay if i requested a Angel!Skizzleman x gn!reader, where the reader takes skizz on a cute date to celebrate him joining Hermitcraft? - 🕳️ anon

holy moly ofc nonnie this is such a cute idea

Sweet Reunions

𝓐𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓵!𝓜𝓒𝓢𝓴𝓲𝔃𝔃𝓵𝓮𝓶𝓪𝓷 𝔁 𝓰𝓷!𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

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Summary: In which the reader takes a new fellow hermit on a date to celebrate his arrival to Hermitcraft

Type: Fluffy oneshot

Warnings ⚠: No warnings, just pure fluff <3

Proofread: Nope

The way I write in character ai is slowly showing in my oneshots 🧍 anyways, enjoy this cute little fic, reader!

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For a good while now, you'd been a part of Hermitcraft; Being in about 5 seasons already. Ever since season 10 started, there's been two new Hermits who you were familiar about. Joel and Skizzleman, you were more close with Skizzleman though since you two have always been together since the Life Series. You were definitely ecstatic to hear that your beloved Skizz was joining, you could hardly wait!

The reunion was quite sweet, you two missed each other very dearly despite it being only two months or so. After the whole introduction thing, you two ran off to find a private area so that you could have a proper reunion (no it's not like that.). Sure, you could've done even when the Hermits were around but it would be better if you two were in private so that you could be as cheesy as you wanted to be.

Skizz had been hugging you so tightly with both his arms and his wings, you had to tell him to stop holding you so tightly otherwise you might've started suffocating.

"Sorry, I just missed ya' so much!" Skizz chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head

"You were really going to miss me more if you kept on hugging me so tightly." You joked, giving Skizz a reassuring pat on the back to give off the message saying 'It's okay'. You two then shared some kisses and even more hugs (you can either think of it as something suggestive or not.), you both were practically struggling to pull yourselves away from each other.

Once you two finally had your sweet reunion, you both decided to gather some resources already. The two of you decided to have shared/connected bases so that you two wouldn't have to be far apart, you two stayed together while gathering resources for the most part. But once Skizz had to go somewhere to meet up with another Hermit, you worked fast to set up a date over by a waterfall with a beautiful scenery to celebrate Skizz's arrival to Hermitcraft. You had to use your current resources to build a nice looking picnic, you had a few furnaces around the place so that you could cook some food. Skizz wouldn't be gone for too long so you had to work quick, you were kind of stressing out already because you didn't know how early Skizz would arrive. You hoped luck was on your side right now.

By the time Skizz had already came back, you were thankfully finished setting up the whole picnic. You had gotten rid of the furnaces and different blocks around the place, all you needed to do now was to actually surprise Skizz with it. You simply went up to Skizz and told him that you had a surprise before closing his eyes with your hands, leading him right where the picnic was. Once you took your hands off of Skizz's eyes, he was absolutely in awe since he could already tell that you put a lot of effort in making the picnic seem really nice.

After admiring it for a good six seconds, he'd turn over to you before suddenly lifting you up into the air and spinning you around. You two were both laughing and giggling as he did, you holding onto Skizz so that you wouldn't fall while he did this. Soon enough, he set you back down while you were a bit dizzy from all the spinning. You held onto Skizz for support for a few seconds before shaking your head slightly, your vision going back to normal. You looked at Skizz with a smile, glad that he appreciated your hard work on this cute little picnic

"So, let's get on with this date shall we?" You held your hand out to Skizz, waiting patiently for him to take it so that you could bring him over onto the picnic blanket. He'd chuckle a bit before taking your hand

"We shall!" Skizz spoke with a slightly fancy tone, making you both giggle a bit before you lead him over to the picnic blanket that had several different types of food that you knew he enjoyed. For the whole time, you and Skizz would be catching up mostly; you both would sneak in a bit of flirting though. Skizz was also praising you for making such good food, he was in pure bliss after taking a bite of one of the foods you had made. And after that, you two would just be holding hands while still continuing to talk about stuff.

If you preferred to just listen instead of talk, Skizz would be talking quite a lot about the things he'd been upto after the whole 'Secret Life' thing. If you were the one to be rambling though, Skizz would willingly listen to you with adoration in his eyes. For the rest of day, you two just watched the sunset and stargazed for a bit before finally heading back to your guys' base and cuddled the whole night with Skizz's wings wrapped around the both of you... <3

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Holy moly!!! You reached the end!! Wowerzs‼️

In all seriousness, hope yall enjoyed this short little skizz x reader oneshot :3

This was a bit rushed so not exactly proofread TT

See you guys in the next oneshot! Bye bye for now lovely reader! <3

(p.s, go drink some gosh dang water, eat some food and take care of yourself. Much love as always!!)

#dusk/diane chatting #dusk/diane updates #dusk/diane writes #dusk/diane request #dusk/diane asks #x reader #oneshot #x reader oneshot #hermitcraft x reader #mcyt x reader #skizzleman x reader #Skizz x reader #gn!reader #MCSkizzleman x gn!reader #holy shert I forgot to post yesterday again

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cookkoo · 5 months

Text

I DID IT!!! agsdhjkaa

Drawtober 2023: [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13][14][15][16][17][18][19][20][21][22][23][24][25][26][27][28][29][30][31]

Or go to this [link] as it's easier to scroll

Ok I haven't done this since 2018 it feels weird asdfjka. But since I finally able to complete the challenge I feel like it's ok to talk about it

First of, thank you for all the hearts and the reblogs— the tags are great as usual lol. could never stressed this enough but these interactions really fire me up. So thank you!!

Now for the reflection part

tbh I was not really sure what I was trying to achieve when I started drawing this year challenge, but one thing is I draw way too little and there's not enough shumako content in my own sketchbook

Long story short, this challenge has been a great journey, I did surprised myself a lot of times, especially day12, hotdamn I never knew I could draw a back this hot asdfhgja. But also, for someone who have been holding the ideas of 'drawing is suffering, and it will always kills your ego because you will never be good enough' mentality, doing this challenge kinda fix that in a good way. Sure, my back still ache and I pulled way too many all nighters for my own good, but I really really enjoy almost every moment of these past two months.

(Let's not talk about the fact that it took me 2 months to finish O}-{)

I think I should add that working traditionally (altho it kinda turn into more of a mix media at some point) really was refreshing. Inking is a bit unforgiving in a way, but it does give my brain good exercise, looking for solutions when making a mistake. It also kinda forced me to stop overwork on some parts, forgive myself (since there's not much I could do with those thick paint) and move on.

Also, this challenge finally give me the opportunity to express my love to P5S asdfjagd. Srsly tho, it came out when I stuck in a very bad slump. So I'm very happy I got to draw the PT hanging out and enjoying their summer together

Anyhow! Since I'm actually completed it, I'm thinking of compiling them and turn them into a zine. So, one more time, I hope I'm not jinxing myself, but I might comeback with a few more drawtober posts just because I wanna show how the zine gonna turn out asdfagj

If you read it this far then, uh, that's a lot of reading. Thank you once again for letting me cover your tl with my ted talk! lmao Hope you will stick around because I'm not done expressing my love to my OTP. Until then~!

#drawtober2023 #drawtober #inktober2023 #inktober #afterthought #I know I talked a lot in tags #on the art themselves #but yo I really hope you read them #because I couldn't do it on twitter #and I have so much thoughts when I work on sth #I just like it more than the short captions or quotes #asdfgjh

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lowkeyrobin · 2 months

Note

write abt the evil dead rise characters reacting to you falling asleep on them!

ooooo I like this mwahahhaha

EVIL DEAD RISE ; you fall asleep on them

includes ; danny, bridget, beth & ellie

warnings ; language

masterlist

DANNY

he doesn't even realize at first

like one second you were commentating about the movie you were watching, and then the next, you were asleep on his shoulder

he confirms that you're asleep and just finishes the movie himself

he can't help but smile every couple minutes because you feel comfortable enough to fall asleep on him and shit

subconsciously plays with your hair or your fingers

he doesn't even realize for a solid 10 minutes or something

very slowly and strategicly lays down and pulls you close while he puts on another movie

he doesn't wanna wake you up while taking you back to his room so sleeping on the couch will suffice

he's usually the first one up anyways so it's not a big deal

you stir awake after a while and look up at him with groggy eyes and he just apologizes a million times before pulling you up a bit so you can hide in the crook of his neck

melted.

genuinley can't stop smiling its the cutest thing

BRIDGET

she'll instantly notice

she's a very attentive person, she already knew you were starting to get tired

so when she looked over at you and felt your head against her shoulder, she knew you were out

she pulls you a little closer because she's still trying to finish the movie you guys were watching

you stir awake as the movies ending though and just walk back to her room and plop down on the bed

she walks in, quiet of course because kassie was already asleep

"y/n?" she whispers, "you need anything?"

yeah you were asleep like no ones business LMAO

she doesn't strike me as a cuddler but she'll admire you and play with your hair

will definitely tease you in the morning cause you don't remember walking to her room at all LMAO

BETH

she won't notice for like an hour

she'll turn to say smthn to you and you're knocked out on her shoulder

she'll carry you to bed when the movie's over and tuck you in and shit

she swears you snore when you don't, it's just to tease you

she does take a picture of you sleeping on her and sends it to ellie

like first time they've talked in 4 months and it's a picture of you guys with a text that reads "ell help I can't move"

she'll make you breakfast in the morning bc you just had one of those sleeps where there's lines all over you and you're all groggy

she's really sweet though dw

ELLIE

she'll be asking you a question about the movie, you won't answer and she'll look down at you in her lap and you'll just be passed out

she'll lightly smile and stroke your hair as she watches the movie

if you haven't woken up already she'll let you sleep on the couch

she'll wrap you in a couple blankets and rest your head on a pillow

she'll give you a kiss on the forehead before she retreats to bed as well

you'll wake up the next morning and smell food

it'll be 9:30, all the kids are up and she's making breakfast and you were asleep

kassies literally on the floor beneath you watching TV since you took up the couch LMAO

#lowkeyrobin #evil dead rise oneshot #evil dead rise preferences #evil dead rise x reader #evil dead rise #danny bixler oneshot #danny bixler x reader #bridget bixler oneshot #bridget bixler x reader #beth bixler x reader #ellie bixler x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader #they/them reader

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uaremyjae · 3 months

Text

My thoughts on my One Piece journey and How it’s affected me 🩷

This is going to be long ass post lol

I think this is the platform that I never knew that I will ever comeback to but you know because of one piece and deprived of Sanji, Nami & Law content, ✨ here I am 😁✨ *shamelessly comeback after abandoned tumblr for good 11 years lmao*.

Anyway, I just want to let out my thoughts on my one piece journey and how it affected me. So bear with me. This is only place I can talk about One Piece because other platforms I had is related to kpop * Yes I’m a kpop fan. HEAVY ON NCT. Neo Got My Back.*

I know about one piece way back when I’m teenager. It’s just I don’t start to watch it/ read it somehow?? Idk why 🤷‍♀️ I’m also confused to as why because I did grew up watch anime like FMAB, Naruto, Bleach, Black Butler, K-On, Fairy Tail on tv. HECK I EVEN WATCH THE LONG ASS DETECTIVE CONAN TOO 😭

I think it’s because back in the day ( 2010 - 2017 ), I had lack of access to internet and not exposed to the series at all. Besides the local TV station here, only aired Naruto ,Bleach and those anime I mentioned . *I’m just 24 years old btw*

So around September 2023, I came across to One Piece content on TikTok and funny enough it’s Brook edit! I was so intrigued with this character and little did I know I watch a bunch of One Piece clip here and there on TikTok. To be fair, I am basically spoiled myself that time 😬 but I’m the type dgaf if I got spoiled because I won’t remember at all later on. 🤷‍♀️

So I decide to start watch it. First few episodes, my reaction was like “ Okay Luffy is an interesting guy🧐his body stretches and always smiled! He got damn hands tho ngl”. Zoro, my reaction was like “ahaaa SO THIS IS ZORO THAT EVERYONE KEEP TALKING ABOUT. Quite a Stud.”

Nami, interesting female character that I can relate because I like money 🤑 and her backstory is so sad. Ussop is also another character I gradually love over the time!

Then COMES MY HUSBANDO, SANJI. Man I have a thing for a man who can cook and looks good in suits. Sanji really makes me having my first anime crush ever! I DONT HAVE A CRUSH ON ANYONE IN NARUTO & Detective Conan but One Piece made me have one 🤧 *The upgrade from loving a guy that exist but doesn’t know you exist ( haechan,jaehyun & jaemin bb i luv you guys but Sanji 😮‍💨) to loving a guy who are not exist on this plane of earth 👀*

Little did I know I start to binge watch it. First day of watching, 30 episodes in 6 hours. 10 days later I already watch 325 episodes . but the show is so good! The story telling that oda created really hit home to me and the foreshadowing & lore he created makes me hooked unlike other story that I have read & watched.

Here’s the thing, to me every anime that I watch, I never like finish it . Sometimes I would just watch last ep and called it the day. This is not only apply on anime, it’s apply to western shows, my own local shows & k-dramas. So One Piece truly like solidified their place on my heart. I finally can understand why one piece are so loved for decades!

Also during those times, I hit rock bottom too. I quit my job because I was falsely accused for stealing shit at my work place and being discriminated by my ex-boss due to being the youngest one for my entire work.( everyone else was in their 40’s ). That time I was desperate as I need some money to achieve my bucket-list and want to lessen the burden of my family. Lord heavens knows what I’m going through, got death threats by that mf. Twisted the truth that causing my whole family cut ties with her severely. From there, I felt so stress and worried.

So One Piece is my way of escapism and it’s been a beautiful and exciting journey. Compared to last time, I took a 7 months breaks from works due to burn out & anxiety, this time it doesnt took long for me to overcome those situations and my “year-end blues” that I called is not as bad as before. I also has been actively try to get a job asap so I can buy an Ipad as I want to start learning digital drawing again after watching one piece.

One piece teach me it’s never late to start a new journey towards your dream! I used to dream to be a graphic designer or animators but my family don’t want me to be that. They want me to have that conservative jobs like working in government, an accountant etc. so essentially I gave up those dreams so I can make them proud of me. It’s been bothering me for so long as I felt like I should have go for what I want not what people want. At the end, I abandoned my accountancy knowledge and worked as an admin & a baker which I found a lot more less stressful that being an accountant. I guess what people describe after knows me personally being a confident, free-spirited & rebellious is just the way I am. AND oddly enough One Piece is just perfect manga & anime for me!

At this point, I already caught up with anime. I’m a weekly basis anime watchers now. I also has caught up with manga too. It’s been a huge revealing & fresh experience of One Piece for me. I felt like I being myself again! It’s weird but it’s the truth! I never felt so at ease and being seen. I just want to do what I want. It’s just fitting fate for me to be a One Piece fan!

That’s all what I want to say… if you really read this till the end. Thank you!

#one piece #I’m lucky to found one piece #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #nami #ussop #sanji #tony tony chopper #PEOPLE SHOULD START WATCH ONE PIECE FOR BETTER LIFE! I’m being real here!#soul king brook #franky #jimbei #nico robin

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the-cult-of-russo · 1 year

Text

Just Beneath The Flames (Part 8)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Warnings: cursing, smut at some point probably lmao, zombie shit, typical canon violence. You know the drill.

A/N: I’ve only just finished writing chapter 9 of this story and it’s been like pulling teeth with how unwell I am. B12 anemia is no joke lmao I’ll be posting it tomorrow obviously, but I’m not sure if chapter 10 will be done in time for the day after or not. It depends on how inspired I am and how I’m feeling.

That being said, thank you to those that are still enjoying the story!

—-----------------

The sun was only just rising and you pulled your jacket tighter around yourself as you leaned against a tree just outside of Frank’s camp. You weren’t sure if winter had started, and you hoped it hadn’t, or if you were on the cusp of it. Either way, it was starting to get a little too cold for your liking. The camp not too far away was silent and you knew they were asleep. If you had to hazard a guess, you thought it might be around 6 or 7 am, but you really had no idea. You knew not everyone in the camp would be asleep, they took watch shifts over the night to make sure they didn’t get caught with their pants down. That was one thing you missed about being in a group. There was a safety that came with knowing people were keeping an eye out when you slept. It was harder to get a good night's sleep when you were on high alert, having to be ready for anything with no one to watch your back. You waited for about five minutes before Billy sauntered through the trees. He looked a little more rumpled than usual, clearly not having time to style his hair. You’d mocked him once about him having perfect hair, even in the apocalypse and he’d given you a smirk and the line; ‘Hey, the world mighta gone to shit, but it don’t mean my looks have to’. You really hadn’t expected any different from him. This morning though he seemed to be up earlier so his hair was slightly disheveled. He had on a forest green sweater and a leather jacket pulled over it, his usual jeans and boots on.

“Ready?” you asked, eyeing the bow in his hand. You’d left yours back at the treehouse and you felt like you’d left your pants at home or something, it was weird. You’d been using it a lot more recently, with all the hunting you’d been doing but you’d also been going on more runs with the guys. It had been a little over a week since the whole ‘almost getting set on fire’ fiasco with Karen and you’d been more than happy every time Billy asked you if you wanted to join him on a run as they stocked up for the colder months. Karen had even been on some too, Frank by her side of course, but even you could see a difference in her. She seemed so much lighter having more freedom like that, even if Frank hovered over her like a worried mother the entire time. And luckily, no one else had tried to kill you while you were out so you started to feel a little bit better about the whole thing. Billy nodded at you and you both started walking away from the camp.

“You’re sleepy today,” you mused with a teasing smile as you glanced at him. He wasn’t usually like this. You knew he could run on little sleep, he’d told you it was something he picked up in the Marines.

“Had watch last night,” he murmured, blinking rapidly as if to wake himself up a little. You stopped walking and gave him a look.

“Billy…” you started with a firm tone and he tilted his head at you.

“Y/N…” he mimicked your tone, a sly smirk spreading on his lips that told you he might be waking up a little and you squinted at him.

“You didn’t tell me you had watch. You can’t hunt with no sleep,” you huffed. The day before you’d agreed to take him hunting, or more accurately, you’d agreed to show him where you’ve been finding the deer so he could hunt. But he hadn’t mentioned anything about having watch last night or you would have suggested tomorrow instead. Sleep was a precious commodity now and those who took the night shift, usually slept in the morning so they at least got some sleep.

“Watch me,” was his defiant reply, smirk still in place before he continued walking. You rolled your eyes so hard you thought they might stay up there before catching up to him.

You wound up in the general area you’d been finding deer and just hung back, letting Billy do the work. He’d not bagged a deer yet but you knew he really wanted to, hating every time you did like it was easy. You never really set out to find a deer though, it usually happened by luck. You had a feeling to Billy, this was more of a manly ego thing and he’d assured you in the past that he knew how to track so you wouldn't get in his way. It was odd to be the one tagging along for a change and not hunting. You had to admit that while you felt a pang of sadness every time you killed an animal, it did have a primal satisfying feeling to it, your animalistic human nature coming to the forefront. And it had only intensified since you no longer hunted just for yourself. It filled you with pride every time you were able to bring something good back to the camp and you guessed that was the feeling Billy was chasing. You stayed silent as he walked around, stopping and crouching to examine the tracks every now and again. You knew from looking yourself that a deer was recently here and you hoped he’d find one. The silence between you was kind of weird. Usually your time with Billy was full of chatter, small talk or banter. The man didn’t know how to shut up sometimes but you loved it. You’d been alone for so long and it had been an adjustment going back to having to interact with people and it made it easier when the other person initiated the conversations. But now, you were both silent as not to spook any deer that could be around. You trailed behind him, your footfalls soft and quiet when you heard a groan. Both you and Billy glanced back and you saw a roamer stumbling towards you and you heaved a sigh, annoyed that it might scare off the deer. You nodded to Billy to keep going before you walked over to the dead one, grabbing the front of its shirt to drag it closer before you rammed your knife into its eye. You pulled it back out with a sickly squelch and it fell limp on the floor. You really hoped there wouldn't be others around. You quickly turned around and moved to catch up with Billy, seeing him standing still between some trees with his bow poised. You stopped dead as you saw the deer, almost like a statue so you didn’t scare it away. You watched intently as Billy lined up his shot, blowing out a slow and steady breath before his arrow went soaring into the deer. He got a good kill shot and the deer only made it two steps before it died. You were glad and you were impressed. You knew he was good with his guns and knives but you’d never seen him use his bow before. You’d admit it was a little hot.

He turned around, a wide and smug grin on his face as he looked at you with his dark eyes.

“Told you I could do it,” he smirked and you snorted, rolling your eyes.

“I didn’t doubt you for a second,” you grinned cheekily at him, making him scoff with a smile. He looked radiant with his pride as he sauntered over to the deer and tied it up before hauling it over his shoulders and you started your trek back to your place where you’d prep it.

“So… if I’m Artemis, who are you?” you asked half way through the walk, glancing to him.

“I’m Blackbird,” he snorted like it was obvious and you gave him a look.

“I’m talking about Greek Gods, dumbass,” you muttered and he gaped at you for a second before a laugh fell from his lips.

“Oh, is that right, dumbass?” he asked with a playful look and you grinned.

“I think you’d be Ares,” you mused thoughtfully and his lips quirked up a little at your words.

“The God of war,” he murmured, shrugging a little.

“And courage,” you added, flashing him a smile when he looked at you. He smiled and it looked slightly bashful as he looked away.

“I can live with that,” he uttered, peering at you with a smile. When you got back to your tree, he plonked the deer on the floor under it where you usually prepped the meat. He sat down and you followed suit, sitting beside him as he started to prep it. You decided to sharpen your knife while he worked, not wanting to just sit there and do nothing.

“You comin’ tomorrow?” he asked, looking at you curiously.

“Yeah, I’ll be there. An extra pair of hands never hurt, right?” you asked ruefully and he grinned. Some of the guys would be going on another run the day after. They needed gas and Billy suggested the highway from hell where those assholes had taken the van. There seemed to be a lot of gas there and you remembered how many supplies you found in the cars and you’d barely even gone through any of them. It would be a good scavenge and with more of you going, it was less likely something bad would happen. You liked how Billy would always include you in on things, always invite you. He knew how restless you got and he was making sure you didn’t have to deal with it much.

“Just make sure you get some sleep this time. You might be a good shot but I can’t imagine you’d be any good on two days of no sleep,” you murmured wryly and a smirk curled his lips.

“You’re real bossy, you know that?” he grinned and you huffed, glaring at him but with no real malice.

“I’m the bossy one? Really?” you asked plainly and it only made his grin widen.

“And you’re a little mean too,” he muttered, faking a put out face.

“Aw, you gonna go tell Frankie on me?” you asked mockingly. He gaped at you, a shocked smile playing on his lips.

“Nah, you know what? I’m gonna tell Karen,” he smirked mischievously.

"I always knew Karen was the one to be scared of,” you muttered and he snorted at you.

You both sat there playfully bantering with one another until the deer was prepped and you helped him salt it and put it into bags. Since you rarely had dinner by yourself these days, you didn’t bother taking any of the meat he offered you. It felt pointless as you both knew you’d be eating with his camp. He seemed to have a pep in his step as you both walked back and the closer he got, the shit eating smile on his face only seemed to widen. You knew exactly how this was going to go and Billy proved you right the second he walked into camp.

“Guess who bagged a deer, assholes!” he called out gleefully, all eyes turning to him. Leo covered her mouth with a smile at his cursing as Sarah gave him a look.

“You did?” Zach asked with a smile.

“You bet I did,” Billy smirked and Zach came over to him,

“Uncle Billy is so cool!” he gushed, looking like he was facing his hero and it made you smile a bit.

“Damn right I am, little man,” Billy grinned, high fiving him.

“Wow, you’re so smug about it,” Karen murmured with an amused look on her face and Billy turned to her with a raised brow.

“Why wouldn’t I be? Can’t a man be proud he bagged a deer. Don’t you know what it means in this economy?” he asked with a patronizing smile and Frank snorted.

“Yeah… you finally got a deer after how long of tryin'? I mean, Y/N bagged two deers before you and she probably woulda got that one too but she let you have it. It’s a pity deer,” Frank said mockingly and Billy looked like someone just smacked him in the face, his jaw hanging open as his dark eyes bore into Frank who was grinning.

“A pity deer?” Billy asked slowly, eyes narrowing to slits.

“Woah, man. He’s calling your manliness into question,” Foggy commented but it was clear his tone was teasing yet Billy’s jaw tightened a little. You found the whole thing amusing.

“You think I can’t get a deer on my own?” he asked accusingly and Frank was still grinning at him and you guessed he loved to push Billy’s buttons as much as you did.

“Well… you had to have Y/N show you where they were so…” he trailed off and you bit your lip to stifle your laugh as Billy’s right eye twitched.

“The last time we had a fight, I put you on your ass in two seconds,” he commented condescendingly.

“I was already injured, man. Wasn’t a fair fight,” Frank shrugged. Billy glared at him before taking a deep inhale through his nose and shaking his head.

“You know what, no deer for you,” he said with a raised brow, pointing at his friend.

“I think Y/N should get a say in that since it was technically her deer that she gave you,” Frank smirked and Billy looked ready to strangle him. Frank turned to you then and your lips curved into a smile.

“What you think, Y/N?” Frank asked, mischief twinking behind his eyes.

“Well… Honestly, I think you’re being really mean to Billy so I have to agree with him. He’s a very manly man and it’s unfair to try and say otherwise,” you teasing words made Frank bark out a laugh, yet despite your obvious playfulness, Billy grinned widely, throwing an arm around your shoulder and pulling you to his side as he gave Frank a smug look.

“See, no deer for you,” he smirked. He didn’t mean it obviously and Frank got his deer just like everyone else after Karen cooked you all dinner. She was the one who cooked the most and you’d offered to help but not only was it not really a hard job, but she hated people trying to get involved and getting in her way.

That night, you lay under your pile of blankets as you struggled to get to sleep. You thought that with you being so busy and going out to burn off your restless energy that you’d sleep better but for some reason, you’d been having trouble. You were fully clothed, even down to your boots, a habit you’d picked up when you were out on the road traveling by yourself so you could get out of situations easily without having to take the time to get dressed. You hadn’t been able to shake it, even with the safety of your treehouse. You wondered what it was that was keeping you awake, there were so many things it could be. Maybe it was a combination of all of them. You were worried about Sarah. She seemed fine enough right now and she wasn’t exactly new to being pregnant. You were concerned about the birth mostly though. Curtis would be the one to deliver the baby and he’d asked you if you’d help. You were a vet and sure you’d helped animals give birth before if they needed it, but this was different. Your worry about needing a c-section or her having a more complicated birth was only exacerbated with the knowledge that her previous kids had been born via c-section. The whole thing was stressing you out because no amount of preparing and getting supplies in would help if something unexpected got thrown yours and Curtis’ way since you weren’t obstetricians. There was also the added stress of the newborn phase and you weren’t quite sure what you were all supposed to do when the baby cried all the damn time to avoid the dead coming at you in swarms. You knew they had everything they needed, you and Karen had taken care of that and all the items were now safely locked away on the back of the black van as they weren’t needed just yet. You were still dealing with those confusing mixed feelings of being part of a group somewhat, having moments of blind panic when you realized how attached you were getting to people and the very real possibility they might die like everyone else you knew. Life was a lot easier for you when you had nothing to lose. So much stress came along with caring about people in a group. Another thing that had been playing on your mind was your brother Sam. You knew he would have loved Frank’s camp, he would have loved all of them. He’d probably have gotten on well with Micro as Sam was a computer nerd too. It made your chest ache to think about him and a bitterness flowed through your veins at the thought. It wasn’t fair that he wasn't here. Why did you get out alive and he didn’t? Why wasn’t he the one here right now, meeting Frank and Billy and everyone else? It felt wrong. The last thing keeping you awake was Billy. The more time you spent with him, the more you realized that your attachment to him was a lot different to the others. You found yourself watching him when he wasn't looking, admiring him no matter what he was doing. You’d smile to yourself if he was happy and smiling, finding a warmth blooming in your chest that you hadn’t felt since the old world. The idea of getting actual feelings for someone in this world was terrifying and you’d been trying to ignore acknowledging it like the plague because it wouldn’t do anyone any good. It was hard enough caring about people as friends without deeper feelings being involved and you knew you were being stupid. You weren’t quite sure just what it was about Billy that lured you in like a moth to a flame. Sure, he was attractive, stupidly ridiculously attractive, easily the most handsome man you’d ever laid eyes on. You knew it wasn’t just that though. You could deal with it if it was just a surface level crush, you wouldn't worry so much about him and that's what was bothering you. The worrying, the caring, the potential to be devastated if he died. Somewhere along the way, you’d bonded with him deeper than you’d bonded with the others and your brain had decided that meant you needed to catch feelings for him. You hated it and you hoped it would go away.

You lay under your mountain of blankets, your eyes drifting to your backpack that was near the open doorway as you considered doing a crossword to pass the time. You’d found a crossword book on one of the runs you’d been on with the others and it had been useful to pass time when your mind wanted to wander down a dark park. But as you considered if you were too lazy to get up and get your bag, you heard a weird thumping noise and you tensed up. You wondered if it was the wind since it had been picking up in the night recently, maybe a branch was hitting the treehouse. But then movement at one of the open windows at the other end of the treehouse drew your eyes to it through the black darkness. You made out a silhouette climbing through the window and your whole body seized up. Maybe it was Billy paying you a visit, he’d never done it at night but it wasn’t like he could climb up the ladder since you always pulled it up when you were up here. But you knew you were being hopeful and stupid because Billy wouldn’t just turn up unannounced in the middle of the night and climb into your treehouse like this. And you knew you were right as you carefully looked at the shadow of a man who was shorter and wider than Billy. You didn’t move, not wanting them to know you were awake and your eyes darted to the knife you’d set over near your bag. You didn’t think you’d need to sleep with it strapped to you anymore but the false security of the treehouse had fooled you. The man crept towards your ‘bed’ and you could hear your heartbeat whooshing in your ears, but then it felt like it stopped all together when you saw the gun in his hand catch the moonlight. You jumped up, tackling him and catching him off guard. You pushed his arm up and the gun went off, the bullet going right through the roof as you tried to fight with him. He was bigger and stronger than you though and he tossed you to the floor across the treehouse and you groaned, refusing to go out without a fight.

“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” the man growled as he grabbed you by your shirt and yanked you up like a ragdoll.

“Fuck you,” you bit out ferociously as you kneed him in the nuts. He cried out with a curse and let you go as he cradled himself and dropped his gun. You swiped the knife from the floor, the pair of you near the doorway and he grabbed your shoulder, whirling you around. You used the momentum to swing your arm and your knife buried itself under his jaw and right through his head. His eyes went wide as he blinked at you, his mouth opening but nothing came out other than a garbled wet noise. You yanked your knife back out as you glared at him and blood poured from the wound. As he went limp, he fell out of the doorway, but as he’d been tangled with you, you ended up going with him, your boot catching the strap of your backpack. Your stomach flipped around like you were on a rollercoaster as you plummeted to the floor. The man landed with a thud, you landed on top of him and while it softened the blow, you heard a sickening crack come from your ribs. You gasped, pain radiating from your ribs outwards and you rolled off the now dead man onto your back. Each breath hurt and your eyes welled with pained tears. You were pretty sure you just cracked or broke a rib or two and your head hurt like a bitch after cracking into him with the fall. The pain made you feel dizzy and you struggled to get to your feet, knowing you had to get out of there. The last thing you expected was for someone to turn up where you slept to try and kill you and through the shock, you felt the bitter sting of stupidity eat at you. You were a fool to feel so safe, to think things would be okay. You’d let your guard down and now you were paying for it. You got to your feet, swaying as a hand cradled your beat up ribs. You saw your backpack, the only silver lining in the fucked up situation as your ladder was still up there and there as no way you could climb with the pain you were in.

You looked at the man, blinking through tearful eyes as you noticed he was wearing a coat with an eye painted on it like a logo. You remembered Billy and Frank talking about the guy from the store that day who held Billy at gunpoint and how he wore the same. They mused it was something to do with Rawlins so this didn’t fill you with hope that you’d gone under the radar. You’d tried to reason with yourself that the fire thing had been to get at Karen since Frank loved her and you’d just been collateral. But now they were targeting you all alone and it worried you. Anxiety stabbed you then as you thought of the others. What if the men had gone after them too? You slowly bent down to get your bag, idly thinking of the gunshot and how it might attract the dead here. You snatched your walkie, stepping backwards a little away from the man. You heard the metal bang before you felt the pain but then a fiery hot pain burst through your right leg and the loudest anguished yell tumbled from your lips before you were able to stop it. You blinkled down at your leg to see it caught in a small bear trap that you knew for sure hadn’t been there before. You really couldnt believe what the fuck was happening to you and you realized these guys really liked to have plan B’s in case the plan A fucked up. The pain was immense and worse than your ribs, the spikes from the trap deep into the flesh of your calf and blood was oozing around them. You wobbled on your feet, your injuries and pain making you feel like you were about to pass out and you fell on your ass, crying out as it tugged the bear trap as it fell to its side along with you. You felt like you couldn't breathe and tears streamed down your face in rivulets. You tried to ignore the pain in your ribs as you leaned over, trying with all your might to get the bear trap off you but it wasn’t like you’d ever had to do this before. You didn’t know how to disarm a bear trap. You cried softly, sniffling in anger as you tried and failed a few times. You fell back onto your back, wincing with every heaving breath you took and your vision danced around you. Was this how you’d die? Out here in the woods alone, caught in a trap as you waited for one of the dead to find you? You refused to die like this, this wasn’t how you wanted to go out. You looked over at the walkie and strained to reach it, making your ribs feel like they were on fire as you did. You finally managed to get it and relief flooded your system as your head spun.

“Anyone here?... It’s Artemis,” you mumbled down the walkie, voice slightly slurred. You felt like you were on a merry go round at a rapid rate that wouldn’t stop.

“Blackbird here. What’s up?” Billy asked, a note of concern in his voice. You’d never reached out at night before. You felt more relief at hearing his voice. This could very well be the last you heard him if your body decided it was done before he got here. Or maybe the dead would find you first. You felt so tired, you didn’t think you could fight them off.

“Is everyone okay?” you asked worriedly.

“Yeah… we’re good… Y/N, what’s wrong?” he asked warily and you felt some relief that they were unharmed.

“I need help,” you muttered, taking a slow and shaky breath as you squeezed your eyes shut.

“What is it? What happened?” he asked instantly, his concern shooting up to panic.

“I’m hurt… just come to the treehouse please, I’ll tell you when you get here,” you pleaded through your tears, voice trembling.

“I’ll be right there,” he said quickly and you sighed in relief, hoping he’d get here in time and not find you being eaten by the dead ones.

“Watch out for bear traps,” you murmured tiredly, your eyes fluttering shut again. He didn’t answer and you hoped he’d got the message as you lay there, fighting with your body so you didn’t pass out. It didn’t take too long before Billy sprinted through the trees with a frantic look on his face. He stopped dead, his eyes first landing on the dead man before his eyes found you laying on the floor with your leg caught in a bear trap.

“What the fuck?” he muttered, rushing over to you and falling to his knees. His dark eyes roamed over the bear trap as he looked like he was trying to think, his hands hovering uncertainly.

“This is gonna hurt, alright?” he gave you a pointed look and you nodded, eyes half lidded as you looked at him. He looked guilty and unsure but then he disarmed the trap, pushing on the springs carefully and pulling it open. You cried out as the spikes left your flesh and you felt the blood starting to pour out of the wounds.

“Shit…” Billy bit out, quickly shrugging his sweater off and then his t-shirt. He wrapped the t-shirt around your leg into a makeshift bandage, a deep frown marring his face as he tried to tie it around your leg to slow the bleeding down.

“What happened?” he asked. His voice was low and tight, his eyes not looking at you.

“He climbed up into the treehouse… tried to kill me. I stabbed him but he fell… I fell with him… then this happened,” you muttered sleepily, the darkness behind your eyes tugging at you. You felt a cold hand on your face and your eyes opened, seeing Billy’s face hovering over you.

“Stay with me, sweetheart, alright?” he asked, sounding worried as his dark eyes scanned your face.

“I think my ribs are cracked,” you mumbled, blinking slowly at him. His frown deepened, eyes flitting to your torso before back at your face.

“We need to get you back to camp, get Curt to look at you,” he insisted as he moved to help you sit up. You cried softly at the pain as he held you and he looked so sad at your pitiful noises as he tried to get you to your feet. You couldn't put weight on your leg and when you glanced down, his gray t-shirt was already blood soaked and you wondered how much blood you were losing. Ideally, you didn’t want to remove something that was impaling you as it would stop the blood flowing too quickly, but it wasn’t like he could take you back to camp with a bear trap attached to you. You wobbled, his arm around you as you tried to hobble forward, but it only made another pained noise leave your lips. You’d felt pain a few times, having your throat slit had topped the list quite a bit. This was something else though. The pain in your ribs was intense and it seemed to fade into every part of your body. Your leg felt like it was being roasted over a fire, throbbing intensely.

“‘M tired… why’s it so cold?” you asked in a whisper, head lolling a little bit and making Billy look panicked and wide eyed.

“I’m gonna carry you, okay? It’s gonna hurt a bit but I’ll be as careful as I can,” he murmured, giving you a pained look as you nodded. You just wanted the pain to stop. He scooped you up bridal style and you hissed at how it jostled your ribs, making him apologize profusely to you. Once in his arms, he hurriedly walked back, trying his hardest not to hurt you too much. You snuggled against him, his bare skin touching you since he was still shirtless, his sweater left discarded on the floor. Your face was in the crook of his neck as you took a small inhale and let it soothe you.

“How do you smell so nice?... It’s the end of the world,” you slurred into his neck.

“You know me, I’m just perfect,” his teasing didn't have the same effect when his voice had a distressed undertone to it but you smiled anyway. You felt the darkness tugging at you again, luring you in as you closed your eyes and enjoyed the comfort of skin to skin contact coming from Billy.

“Stay with me, Y/N. You gotta stay awake for me,” he insisted, glancing down at you as his pace picked up. You could hear his heart thumping away at a rapid rate.

“I’m just so tired, Billy,” you whispered, not opening your eyes.

“Come on, Sweetheart, stay with me. You’re not gonna leave me like this, alright? I’m not losin’ anyone else,” he pleaded desperately but it fell on deaf ears as you passed out in his arms.

You were in and out of it when you got to the camp. You’d come to, hearing everyone rushing around and talking frantically before you passed back out. You woke up briefly a few times when Curtis was working on your leg, pained groans leaving your lips before your eyes would roll back and you’d be out like a light once again. When you woke up properly, you were in the tent you knew the children used. You felt weak, your head fuzzy and your mouth felt dry. You blinked tiredly at the ceiling of the tent before you glanced to your side. Billy was sitting next to you, his head in his hands.

“Billy…” you croaked out, frowned at the lack of moisture in your mouth. He sat up quickly, head snapping to you as relief seemed to hit him like a train. He had circles around his eyes and he looked paler than he usually did.

“Y/N… are you… you feel okay?” he asked hesitantly, scooting closer to you as his eyes darted all over your face. It was a hard question to answer. You were still in a lot of pain and you felt a little out of it, but you were alive and that was what really mattered. You nodded, blinking tiredly at him as he watched you.

“You don’t look so great,” you blurted, your head feeling too fuzzy to really think about insulting him like that. He didn’t look offended though, he frowned softly, his hand darting out and snatching your own as he held it tightly.

“You lost a lotta blood. I’m a universal donor so… Curt rigged somethin’ up to give you a transfusion,” he explained and it took your disorientated brain a long moment to digest his words.

“You gave me your blood?” you asked quietly, making him nod. You wondered how much you needed with how ill he looked.

“Thank you,” you murmured, trying to muster up a smile for him. He looked away quickly, blinking his glassy eyes rapidly.

“You gotta stop doin’ this shit. I’m gonna wind up havin’ a heart attack if you keep almost dyin’ on me like this,” he smirked, but it was weak and felt forced.

“What can I say? I love danger,” you drawled with a tired smile, echoing words he’d once said to you. He smiled then, a wistful and slightly more genuine one but then his face turned somber again, his hand squeezing yours.

“I… I just…” he trailed off and your hazy brain took in his anguished face and it made your chest ache, your brows creasing.

“I care about you… I can’t lose you,” he murmured, his shiny almost black eyes meeting yours once more. Your chest filled with warmth that wasn’t coming from the pain in your ribs and you smiled at him, your thumb rubbing his hand.

“I’m not doing it on purpose, I’m starting to think I’m in Final Destination,” you smirked and his lips quirked up a little.

“I need to just lock you away or some shit. You’re like a danger magnet,” he said wryly. You opened your mouth to reply but Curtis came into the tent. He looked surprised to see you awake but then he smiled.

“It’s nice to see you again, Y/N. We were all pretty worried for a second,” he grinned and you smiled at him. You moved to try and sit up, not liking being laid flat like you were but Billy stopped you.

“Gotta rest for a bit, not move so much,” he instructed as he grabbed a spare blanket and balled it up, putting it under your top half like a big pillow to prop you up a little. You give him a grateful smile, feeling better that you weren’t lying flat anymore.

“So… how bad is it?” you asked Curtis warily. Your brain still felt a little fuzzy around the edges but you were starting to feel a little more awake. The downside to it being the pain seemed to get worse. Curtis glanced at your leg, a slight wince before he looked at your face.

“Your boot saved your foot, it took the brunt of the worst of it. You almost ended up in the one legged club,” he said with a wry smile but his eyes shone with concern.

“I stitched you up the best I could and I gave you some of Billy’s blood. I’m not sure if your leg’s broken or not with no x-ray. If it is, it's not a full fracture, no bone sticking out or anything. Still might be a hairline fracture though. You need to keep off it for a bit and Matt and Foggy are trying to make a splint for you. Your ribs are cracked, I don’t think they’re broken,” he explained sympathetically.

“Thanks,” you nodded, feeling despondent at the knowledge you'd be out of commission for a while. Laying here doing nothing really didn’t sound appealing.

“I’ll go and see if they’re done with the splint so we can get it on you,” Curtis smiled before he shared a look with Billy and then left the tent.

“You’re gonna be stayin’ with us and you’re not gonna argue with me about it,” Billy said firmly, his face telling you he really wasn’t going to have an argument about it. You didn’t want to argue though. You loved your treehouse but you didn’t feel safe there now. It was tainted. This whole ordeal had shown you that you were also a target now and isolating yourself like you had been was dangerous. You were easier to pick off that way.

“Okay,” you nodded and he looked shocked for a moment that you hadn’t argued with him about it.

“Good,” he said, sniffing as he rolled his shoulder.

“Thank you for coming to help me… for the blood and everything,” you murmured after a moment of silence. He didn’t have to come and help you, didn’t need to answer the walkie at all and he certainly didn’t need to offer up his blood. His eyes pinned you in place, watching you for a moment.

“You don’t need to thank me, you know I got your back,” he said easily and it made you smile as your chest tightened.

“I forgot how nice it was to have people looking out for me,” you admitted and he smiled softly.

“Been tellin’ you this whole time to just give in and join us,” he pointed out, raising his brow.

“Yeah, well… you know how stubborn I am,” you snorted and his lips curled into a grin.

“I know, it’s a pain in my ass,” he huffed, amusement shining in his eyes. You’d been resisting joining the group, only to be forced into it anyway. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing though. Billy had really come through for you, as did the others from the snippets you remembered of getting to the camp. It showed you they really did care and while it was scary, it felt nice. The world had a lot less people on it now, most of them turning as feral as the dead. It was hard to come by good people, people who would look out for you, care for you when you were at your most vulnerable. You’d had that once, forming a bond like family with your old group. You never thought you’d find that again after everything, didn’t think it would be possible, nor did you want it. But now as you looked at Billy with his soft brown eyes as he looked down at you, you knew you wanted to be here. You wanted to be part of something more than yourself. To have people to watch out for you and for you to watch out for them. To have a purpose, a reason to keep going, to keep fighting. You’d lost that along the way but now you knew you’d found it again and you were looking right at it.

Taglist: (if you’ve been asked to be tagged and aren’t here, it wouldn’t let me tag some people.)

@firexfate

@blanchedelioncourt

@ariesbutalibra

@sunshinedaisies-anddeath

@snowkestrel

@music-indie-tv

@idaofinfinity

@sweetserendipity65

@ramadiiiisme

@k-marzolf

@celestialams

@woowwwee

#billy russo imagine #billy russo fanfic #billy russo x reader #billy russo

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