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#she said it was okay and she wasnt mad anymore. but i thought i lost this friend (again) that id just gotten back after almost losing
tremorsmackenzie · 1 year
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i see a lot of talk going around about how the team were terrible to daisy after 5x14 and one person even said that it was basically a darvo situation, and i want to add my opinion to the pile, cause i disagree with that a lot. i also generally have a problem with how people tend to defend their favourite to the absolute while villainizing almost every other character in this discourse. they all deserve equal amounts of empathy.
lets get a few disclaimers out of the way first: from my perspective, what happened wasnt anyones fault, they were all victims in this situation. fitz cant be blamed for having a psychic split, daisy had every right and more to react the way that she did, thats not even a discussion. it was also just absolutely the right decision, fitz wasnt trustworthy anymore after that. he absolutely did care about what he did though, he mentioned how he was scared by how he still thought he did the right thing at least twice. thats not the same thing as being horrified at what he did exactly, but the reasons for his split didnt go away just because it happened, and this is about as close as you can get in this situation i think. i also think his whole " i didnt have a choice" shtick was more about him trying to make sense of what happened rather than trying to deflect blame, because he generally lacks empathy for other people a bit and getting defensive and not considering whether that is appropriate right now is perfectly in character for him (still terrible on his part despite all that though, and this is probably where the darvo thing comes from as far as it concerns him). now:
the way i see the aftermath of that episode is that with everything still happening, coulson gone and possibly (definitley, its hydra) being tortured for intel, the end of the world still fast approaching, and daisy still being convinced its somehow gonna be her fault (especially after having her powers restored), none of them could allow themselves to break right now. and crucially: noone blamed daisy for the way she reacted or attacked her for it. may thought she wasnt ready for coulsons job after literally just being tortured, and she was right about that, that was way too much pressure to put on her after that (despite that, i still think daisy did a good job, but she shouldnt have had to). mack agreed with daisy fully. simmons was definitley not okay anymore after what happened and acted increasingly irrationally. she just watched her husband torture her best friend while being held at gunpoint by a robot he programmed, after which daisy had no time to talk to her and fitz was locked in a cell and disillusioned about who he was. she was essentially alone to deal with the situation.
it doesnt excuse what she did, but i also dont think she wouldve acted the way she did if she was fully sane at that point. i mean, she risked swallowing literal acid because she thought she was invincible due to knowing she makes it past the worlds destruction. before this, she was very, starkly different. those are not the actions of someone whos secretly a sociopath like many regularly accuse her of being, theyre the actions of someone who has been pushed completely past their breaking point. as for yoyo, she lost her goddamn arms and was absolutely convinced that daisys path was going to lead to the entire worlds destruction. and that was what she was mad at daisy about.
this was the entire tragedy of that situation: its not a question of fault. they all acted terribly towards each other, and they all had good reasons for it, even if they were being unfair or vicious. it just happened.
so they all pushed what fitz did aside for the moment to focus on the mission, but its literally the main factor of what drove the team apart for the rest of the season, because daisy was focused on her interpretation of the prophecy and wasnt gonna trust fitz or anything he said anymore, simmons and yoyo were convinced he was right and felt daisy wasnt listening to them, and then they managed to scrape themselves back together as a team, just barely, and saved the world, losing both coulson and fitz in the process. in my headcanon the team patched up most of their differences after 5x22, based on how it ended, flashbacks and mentions from season 6 as well as the team being friendly with each other again, and the fact that this show isnt the kind to just ignore events like this, if things are radically different between seasons its safe to assume that stuff happened off screen, not that the writers were lazy. losing two members of their shared family probably also provided them with some perspective and reminded them of how much they all mean to one another.
and this hit all of them very hard, and they all dealt with it in their own way without involving the others. all of them, not just daisy. mack focused on his job 100%, may and elena helped him, simmons went to space to find fitz and daisy came with her because everything reminded her of coulson and theyre each others best friend. when they all came back together, they had managed to somewhat move on from what happened and probably werent to keen on bringing it up again. i mean we saw how sarge had them all bent out of shape because he had coulsons face. they were not over it. nevermind the fact that they had another alien invasion on their hands at the time.
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luv-xoxo · 2 years
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Top priority-vinnie hacker
Masterlist
758W
Today was a very off day for Vinnie and yn, everything started in the morning when they start arguing with each other over the fact that yn organized the closest and he could find his " Favorite " Shirt, then they somewhat cool off. Now Tabitha and Jett are stuck in a car with them arguing again.
"Let's go for pizza", "no yn we had pizza two days ago I want burgers", " No burgers have too much meat" , "pizza also have meat", " Yeah but in pizza you can take it off and it will still taste delicious! ", they went on and on for ages yelling at each other thank god Jett was driving otherwise they would have crashed for sure. Finally after about half an hour of arguing Jett had enough and pulled over " ENOUGH! ", suddenly everything stopped and he had their full attention "what's up your asses this morning? We are going to get both pizza and burgers happy now? " He yelled again which was do unusual for Jett even Tabitha got a bit scared even though she knew ge was mad at her I mean he wasnt mad at his other friends either he just couldn't take the yelling anymore. The car started again and it wasn't the only thing.... "Look at what you did now!! " Yn whisper yelled at Vinnie "what I did? You were the one that started it! ", " Oh I m the one that started it? You are the one that woke up in the wrong side of the bed! " , "you have your panties on twist all morning! How could I not be pissed? U are the one putting my stuff all over the place! ", " This again? Well sorry that I don't want to live in a mess! " . Jett pulled over once more... "Both of you out now! ", " WHAT" Both of them asked the same time "out! If you can't get along get out and walk to get your food I very had enough! Me and Tabitha want to have a nice Quiet lunch! And with you two it's impossible today! Like what the fuck "
Anyway they indeed got out of the car , they left them in a pretty public space which caused yn's anxiety to rise and it took her by surprise when Vinnie held his hand out for her to take she was almost certain that he wouldn't, "come on take my hand , deep breaths and calm down " He said in a sweet voice. She grabbed his hand with the biggest smile on her face "I thought you were mad at me" She smiled "well I m a bit upset not mad but even if I was mad I would still hold your hand", " Sooo you still love me? ", " Of course I love you and even if we fight you are still my top priority " That made me tear up a bit "don't cry baby" He said kissing my head and whipping the tears away. "Come on let's get some food"She start swinging their linked hands back and forth and then she brought her other hand around his arm completely hugging his hand. " I m sorry for messing around with your stuff " She said out of the blue " No baby you didn't nothing wrong I m sorry for yelling at you and starting arguments I was just pissed about my car I got this new part and it's not right! ", " Ohh baby I m sorry" , "its okay" He kissed her head.
Once they arrived they ordered and went to find Jett and Tabitha.
Once Tabitha saw them she immediately yelled "YES LUNCH ON YOU LUNCH ON YOU HAHAHAHA" to Jett "what? " He asked confused and then turned around to see Vinnie and yn walking hand in hand. "Pfff of fucking course all the other times that I bet that they would make up I lost I m talking about losing 10$ to Thomas, 10$ to Jack and 10$ to Mia and now that I bet that they would make up I lost AGAIN and have to pay for lunch! ", " Well Jett what did u learned today? " , "that you are annoying", " Nope, you learned to not ever bet ever , you have no luck buddy " Tabitha clapped his shoulder as the happy now couple sat down well Vinnie sat down yn sat on his lap. "What about bets? " Vinnie asked "we had a little bet going on everytime you argued for when I gonna make up and Jett lost 30$ AND is paying for my lunch" Explained Tabitha which had them all laughing hard.
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yatsugareboyf · 2 years
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awh those hc for atsushi & tanizaki hurt me in all the rights ways but they were also rlly soft and those are the writings i love the most, i kept on rereading it hehe
and i never realized how much i loved tanizaki until i came across those hcs so i thank you for awakening that for me <33
this request might seem to similar to the one the anon asked for so you don’t have to write this if you don’t want to, but can i ask for atsushi and tanizaki (separately) accidentally standing up their s/o on a date?? smth like they’re there for hours and the boys just don’t show up and their s/o just goes home? or they arrive just as their abt to leave?
and pls pls take care of yourself author-san we love u💗💗
sorry this might come late aaaaaaa anw thank u sm for this req (i never thought tht the tanizaki + atsu post would do well) i hope u enjoy, take care too ^^
hcs for atsushi and tanizaki accidentally standing up their s/o.
nakajima atsushi
like i said in the other post mentioned in the ask, he isnt the type of guy to forget dates or stand you up
he'd feel guilty and sad if he did yknow, esp if its on purpose. he wouldnt do tht to you
so let's say tht he had an urgent matter to attend to that popped up unexpectedly
he couldn't tell you over the phone because his phone is dead, and he couldn't borrow anyone else's because he'd only be rushed out of the agency to do this task
"im so sorry, y/n. ill try and make it on time." he says to no one in particular as he speeds up his pace to finish this mission as quick as he can
you, on the other hand, are all set to go to this new cafe down the block
it's been a while since he's taken you on a date, and it just so happens to be at a friday afternoon after your work/school and his work hours
usually he's the first one to arrive, but you show up first, and you didnt think much of it, he could be caught up with dazai again
aaaaand its been 30 mins and he hasnt shown up so you order something and decide to wait for him more, you know his work and how it can be.... weird... at times
you've finished your food by the time the sky turns dark and the cafe slowly loses its customers as its almost abt to close
its not tht late, probably around 7 pm, you lost track of time anyway
you were sad, but also confused because atsushi, the atsushi nakajima, had stood you up. out of all people?
since you dont wanna be kicked out by the employees, you left by yourself, leaving a tip for ur waitress who so kindly gave you an extra drink ("hey, i saw you kinda sad, so its on the house.")
on your way back home, you saw atsushi running towards you with a tired expression
"atsu? are you okay?" you worry abt his appearance, his shirt sleeves ripped up to his biceps and pants also ripped
"you're worrying abt me when im 3 hours late to our date? :("
"of course i am, who cares abt the date?? are you okay, are you injured?" even if you were bummed out abt the date, his well being came first to you, which made atsushi lowk tear up
he pulls you into a hug and keeps apologizing for being late, saying he'll make it up to you and whatnot but ur here fussing because he won't let you tend to him
y'all ended up watching a movie at home after he reluctantly let you patch him up and feed him
hes so happy tht you weren't mad at him like fr he was like "what if she hates me? what if she thinks im cheating?" on the way to the coffee shop 😔 my poor baby
tanizaki junichirou
i keep using naomi as his excuse but i really cant think of any other thing that can keep him away
naomi probably needed help for a project in school, so he left a bit earlier to go to help her in the library. 
when u woke up, juni wasnt there anymore, so you thought he was preparing for your cute little picnic date
u imagined him setting up a cute little blanket with fairy lights and candles like omg so romantic
so u were sooo excited !! u sent him a quick text saying that ure getting ready and u got up to heat up the food u both prepared the night before
with the basket in hand u walked to the park where u planned to set up
aaaand he wasnt there, like nothing
there were no fairy lights, no blanket, no candles, nothing
poor u, u thought he would already be setting up the date :((
so u called atsushi to see if he went to the agency 
“tanizaki-kun? he hasn’t been here since yesterday, i dont think he has a shift today, y/n-san. why do you ask?”
“oh... thank you, atsushi. i was just looking for him..”
“have you tried calling him?” 
“yeah but i think he has his phone turned off...”
ok anw
you waited like around 4 hours for him to show up :((
like u tried not to eat the food but damn u havent eaten so u ate like a few sandwiches and one of the yogurts you packed
until the sun went down and he still hasnt arrived
but he called you! 
“y/n, where are you? i just got home from the library...” 
“library? what were you doing in the library?”
“i was helping naomi with her project, i thought i told you?”
“well you forgot, and you also forgot we had a date today, im guessing?”
“... a date? what do- oh.. the picnic date we planned??? omg y/n i-im so sorry-”
“it’s fine, junichirou,” you sigh “ill just go home-”
“nononono! im coming there, wait for me, okay?”
“juni, it’s fine, really, ill just go home”
“nope, stay there, baby, im coming”
and he arrived with candles and fairy lights and take out from your favorite place :(((
so yeah he really just becomes clingy and apologizes a lot and makes it up to u :((
“y/n :((((( im sorry :((((((”
“i told u, its fine” 
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tastyykpop · 3 years
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𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-ρ† 3
Pairings: enemy, barista, student!jaemin x student, barista!reader. 
<previous next>
Warnings: fluff, angst if you squint real hard
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Anger and frustration was the only way to describe it. Plus the lingering feeling of humiliation when jaemin didn't give a direct answer. Students eyed the two of you, mostly you for your braveness to even confront the boy which was shocking from their point of view, knowing all too well of your history with each other.
For once though, you've seen jaemin hesitate and stutter with an answer. It was quite something really, and you couldn't believe it.
And it wasnt like it was a yes or no answer, he only blurted out, "W-we have tu-tutor sessions...later...." and walked away after a few seconds of looking at you. God, and everyone was whispering among themselves and friends like it was the hottest topic, which in a strange sense it kind of was.
You dragged yourself back to the table where yeri sat and put your head in your arms.
You felt stupid. This wasn't how you thought your day would go, nor did you think jaemin would say something like that. Instead, you thought jaemin would for sure say yes. The things he said, the way he acted, jaemin couldve passed as your boyfriend and you thought maybe now it was possible.
"Y/n are you okay?" Yeri put a hand on your arm and you shook your head, still buried in your arms.
"I hate him." Your voice came out muffled.
Yeri let out a long sigh, "Its going to be okay. There’s plenty of other guys you'll meet who'll be worth your time." She stopped when you lifted your head. The look on your face was melancholy and red, but she didn't know what she could do about it. "What about that taemin guy? He's pretty cute. And from what you told me, he's super nice." Yeri wiggled her eyebrow suggestively making you groan.
"I don’t want to hurt him." You frowned, not being able to imagine using him as a rebound, "I realized I don’t like him like I thought I did."
"I get it. But don't pain yourself over a boy." She shook her head and let out a quiet chuckle, "especially jaemin."
"But jaemins literally what I want. How am I supposed to ignore that?"
Yeri stuck her bottom lip out in a pout, "Its almost impossible to ignore feelings..." There was a short pause until she started again, "So maybe just...ignore him? I don’t know man, I’m not good at this stuff."
"Yeah no shit," You snorted, "but ignoring him is an option. He gets mad when I do things like that, and ignoring him would get his attention, which means," you took a deep breath and grinned, "I’d get my ass destroyed by him whenever he breaks!"
"That’s literally not at all what I meant by ignoring him."
You sat back in your seat, smiling like a maniac to yourself at the devilish plan that would possibly not end well for you.
"But it could work." You pointed out.
"Could doesn't mean would. You know what, talking to you is like talking to a brick wall." As yeri stood up and gathered her trash, you threw your pile along with hers just to annoy her. "This is why I'm your only friend."
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"I thought you were going over jaemins for tutoring?" Jimin asked with a raised brow at your sudden intrusion into the apartment giving him no time to put a shirt on.
"I decided not to go." You shrugged, setting your bag on the floor. In reality, it was just the start of your plan of ignoring jaemin, but you weren't going to tell jimin that.
"Huh?? But you said he was good at trig and you would fail without him." As he tilted his head in confusion, you tried to come up with an excuse.
And not even a second later, an idea popped into your head, "I’m starting to understand it better." It wasn’t far from the truth to be honest, jaemin was doing a very good job at explaining, but in reality, you weren't perfect at all.
"Liar! You suck at trig!"
Your eye twitched, "I understand it slightly better."
"I still don't believe you." Jimin shrugged, "its only been like 2 days."
"I’m a fast learner." You huffed. Sadly your roommate knew you too well for you to lie. It wasn’t surprising anymore that he could point out just one flaw.
"Another lie. Now run along, I’m watching tv." Jimin shoo'ed you away with a hand motion. It took almost all your patience not to say anything in return, but it was pointless now.
Once in your room, you threw yourself onto the bed, not caring enough to close the door as you started changing from school clothes to regular shorts and a tank top.
Now once looking back at it, today was just a weird day. It was quiet in all the classes like someone just flipped a switch and one thing that threw you off the most was that jaemin didn’t ignore you completely like you thought he would, but instead he still helped with the work you were struggling with. Other than that he never talked to you. And it wasn’t like you wanted him to, you actually didn't want him to because of your little plan.
To be expected, you got multiple texts from him wondering where you were and why you weren't at his house and each text got more and more threatening so you just put your phone on silent and decided to take a nap until work. If this is how jaemin acts when you ignore him for barely a day then it should be easier to break him then you thought.
Rolling over in your bed, you closed your eyes, ignoring the aching feeling of anxiousness in your gut and tried to get some sleep. But sleeping was almost impossible. No matter how sleepy you were, or how heavy your eyes were, sleeping just didn't want to come. And you really didn't want to go on your phone because jaemin was calling you and in a matter of time you would probably answer it because you were just a little afraid of him.
Moving out of the bed and getting ready for work was your last option. Though the amount of black pants and white shirts that were lost from your closet made you realize how much you actually worked. The last time you had a day off was during summer vacation with jimin and a few of his friends plus yeri. Its been a while, and you kind of missed the break but you can't complain too much since you're making such good money.
After throwing on the clothes and lacing up your shoes, you left after saying good bye to jimin. Its still early, but you couldn't bring yourself to pass time until work and going there wasn’t as bad as one may think.
After you got in the car, you left the apartment, driving off to the cafe. You blasted some of your music on the way, singing the lyrics loudly since no one was in the car. You gotta say, driving alone is sometimes more fun since you can do stuff like this without people judging you.
Finally at the cafe, Irene happily greeted you, not giving you time to say hi back and started jumping up and down talking about her promotion to manager. She literally looked like she'd explode any minute from too much happiness.
"I get to boss you around even more than I did before." She grinned and you playfully shoved her to get to your station.
"If that’s possible." A little fist punched your shoulder as you laughed, "I’m kidding, I’m kidding."
"Hey, I'm not that bad! But I could be worse if you’d like." You covered your mouth to stifle the laugh that would come out when she sent you a wink.
There were many orders coming up, food, smoothies, coffee, anything. It kept you, irene, and your coworkers in the back completely occupied and busy. Youd even catch yourself drifting off into space because you were working too fast, almost messing some orders up too.
"I can bring this to the customer, go work on the other orders please." Irene rushed away after you smiled and did what she wanted.
Moments passed and after a few more drinks you saw the familiar black haired man walking into the back where you stood making a drink.
Jaemin didn't look all too happy when he saw you, so you tried your best to ignore him, but its not easy to ignore someone who’s been on your mind the whole day and somehow you're just figuring that out now.
He looked nice too, well he always does, but his black hair looked particularly very good. The way it was parted yet still fell over his face on some ends, and the way some parts stuck out just looked pretty on him.
"You’re here early...again." jaemin spoke while looking up at the orders, snapping you out of your thoughts.
"I was kind of bored at home." You muttered, moving as jaemin reached over you for a cup.
"Should’ve came to my house to study, maybe you wouldn't have been so bored." He lifted an eyebrow in your direction almost tauntingly and expecting a snap back but you stayed quiet, keeping it silent for a bit.
Jaemin was doing his order, and you did yours, though it did feel like time was just dragging you slowly through the day because you were so anxious near him. You felt as if he would break if you stepped out of place even just a bit. But wasn’t that your plan in the first place? 
"Why didn't you answer my texts?" Jaemin began and you looked up from the last drink you put in the tray. He had anticipated your answer as you suspired.
"I was sleeping.."It was obvious that you didn’t want to talk as you tried to walk away with the tray in hand followed by jaemin grabbing your shirt and pulling you back, the tray tipping slightly.
"Sleeping? How could you be sleeping when you read my texts? Now why are you lying to me?" Question after question, you tried wiggling out of his strong grasp and rolled your eyes to show you didn’t care. With only so much patience left, jaemin grabbed your hair, bringing your face closer to his. "I asked you a question so i suggest you answer before I spank your ass in front of everyone."
You stopped and nervously looked around the cafe to see if anyone heard him, but luckily for you everyone was minding their own business or not paying attention but still you couldn’t mask your shyness, "Y-you wouldn't do that. You're bluffing." You huffed.
Though you're not much shorter than jaemin, you felt small under his strong gaze, almost weaker near him too.
"Wanna bet?" He questioned and his sincerity was almost scary. You could feel his hand snake a bit too far down your backside and you pushed him off. "Answer me; why are you lying?"
"I don’t know." He slowly let go of your hair and ran his fingers through it. Nervousness fell over you, thinking he'd grab it again.
"You don’t know, huh." Jaemin said softly. You shook your head hoping he'd believe it.
"I-i don’t.."
Jaemin rolled his eyes, "Don’t lie or ignore me again."
"Yeah yeah whatever-" You cried when he grabbed and tugged on your hair again, making your face contort in pain, "Okay! Fine! I wont do any of that again!"
That being said, jaemin let go after giving you that natural look telling you not to push him today, or any day for that matter. "Little bitch." You mumbled.
"Call me that again, I dare you."
It took almost all of your self control to not flip him off.
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Lee jeno, the infamous frat boy and fuck boy on campus, was jaemins closest friend. He was gorgeous, kind, and smart, but one thing that set you off about him was he could be quite rude. Just one flaw, and it happened to only be towards you. So you wondered; 'why the hell am I asking lee jeno for help when there's a hundred more men in this school?' Because jeno was jaemins closest friend. Plain and simple. The only thing is, your brilliant plan could fail. Either way it was a fifty-fifty chance.
"Lee jeno!" You called and ran up to the boy, confused as to why you looked happy to see him when you and him don't really like each other. "I have a question."
"I might have an answer." Jeno surprisingly smiled, now you see why people were whipped.
"I want to make jaemin jealous."
He stopped in his tracks and nervously laughed, "Why would you want to do that? Of all things?"
You smiled up at him, "I wanna be a pain in his ass so I have an idea and I need your help." Jeno scratched the back of his head, still not sure where you were headed with this conversation.
"Uhh...okay what is it then?" You happily jumped when jeno gave you the go to ask.
"Can you be my fake boyfriend?"
"You’re who-what!?" Jeno choked trying to find a hint that you were joking and just testing him or something, but you were dead serious and that's what made him scared. "So you’re plan to make jaemin jealous is to date me? Damn that’s kinda smart and bit bitchy."
You frowned, "I just like making him regret certain things and testing his patience is all."
"So a bitch," he shrugged, " but how the hell would this whole thing work? You and I don’t have a really good record with each other and hes well aware of that. Jaemins not dumb." Jeno pointed out as you tilted your head in almost a ‘you’re so stupid’ manner.
“Didn’t you take acting lessons?” There was a slight delay but he nodded nonetheless, “Then just act the part, lee. Its not that hard.” you rolled your eyes with a scoff, jeno playfully slapped your shoulder.
“Its not that simple! Its you for gods sake! How am i supposed to pretend to like you?”
“I dont know, you just do it.” Shrugging off the almost annoyed yet smiling boy, you noticed someone out the corner of your eye; the devil himself. Just staring at the two of you. Surprisingly, jeno took notice of that and grabbed your hand while walking close to you, never letting his smile fall, and walked around the school building to a bench.
"That was smooth." You mumbled earning a laugh from jeno. "See, was that so hard?”
The boy rubbed the back of his neck nervously with an eye smile, “I guess not, but do you really think he’ll fall for it?”
That was a good question and if you sat and thought about it more, you probably would’ve said no, but for some reason you pushed out a yes. Jaemins a jealous and possessive boy, there’s no way this shouldn’t work.
“Hell yeah. Have I ever steered you wrong?”
“Well-”
“Don’t answer that.”
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Currently, you and jeno were awkwardly flirting with each other in front of jaemin at the cafe. Light touches and small smiles and giggles was kind of annoying in jaemins eyes. But this was the best plan yet.
After not going to jaemins third tutor session and ignoring multiple other calls because he didn’t bother texting anymore, you were at the cafe on your day off just to piss him off. And for some reason, this was probably the most fun, yet awkward moment in your life.
"Is he still watching?" Jeno whispered as he smiled to make it seem as if he was flirting.
You quickly glanced up and jaemin was indeed still watching, actually glaring, but you couldn't even tell if it was at you or jeno, maybe even both.
"Hes still watching." You turned and grinned at him. "He looks very mad."
"I know something to get him more mad."
"And what would that be?" Raising an eyebrow at him, jeno suddenly grabbed you by your face and kissed your cheek.
"Now look back and tell me if hes still there."
You were shocked but did as he said and sure enough, jaemin was no where to be seen, "Hes gonna kill us..."
"No just you, I’ll be gone by then." He laughed when you sent him a glare. "This was your plan not mine."
"And this will for sure end my life later on," You faced jeno, "When was the last time he was really mad?"
Jeno sat back to think about it and let go of your hand that you forgot he was holding, "He got into a fight with one of our friends just a few months ago. You know donghyuck, right?"
You nodded your head. Of course you knew donghyuck, he was the biggest brat of them all and out of every one of jaemins friends, you got along with him pretty well, turning out to be very good friends. You haven't talked to him in few weeks though, college kind of messed some things up for you guys but you still try to keep in contact as much as possible.
"Well a few months ago jaemin and hyuck got into this huge fight."
"Was it as bad as that time mark and hyuck fought?" You asked and jeno shook his head.
"No it was probably worse. Jaemin was almost in a fist fight with him--actually no I think they did end up physically fighting." Jeno sighed, "Anyways jaemin was super cold to everyone and got into a lot of fights with some other people like me," he giggled at the thought, "It was also around the time he dumped coffee on your head."
Only jeno could bring back that stupid coffee incident and make you remember when you wanted to commit a murder.
"That was one of the worst things hes done to me don’t make me think of that." You whined, throwing your head back, "And hes done a lot of bad things."
Jeno grinned, he was standing next to jaemin at the time laughing at you. In his perspective it was funny, but for you, it was not.
"Not gonna lie it was kind of funny, but I did feel a bit bad."
"Woah. You felt bad for me!? Who the hell are you?" You said dramatically making jeno throw his head back in laughter.
"Someone who actually has remorse," He looked you up and down before starting again, "for some people."
You huffed, "And to think you were becoming nice." Jeno giggled one last time but it quickly faded away when a hand slammed on the table.
Both of you looked up at the boy with jet black hair, he was none too happy with all your laughing and 'flirting', and wanted to interrupt it the best he could.
"Hey jeno," jaemin nodded his head in his friends direction, somehow managing to make his anger dissolve into a real smile.
"Whats up?" Jeno smiled.
You sat back staring at the two, jaemins eyes were locked onto jenos and his hand was still sitting there. They were like statues.
"Oh you know...working and watching you dumbasses flirt." Jaemin painfully grit his teeth, still holding a smile and you tried not to laugh.
Out of all things you found cute, it was jaemins poor attempt at trying not to be angry or jealous. It was like watching a rom-com but in real life.
"Its disgusting." Jaemin mumbled.
He turned towards you, but with no smile like you didn’t deserve one which in this case you was probably true since this was your idea in the first place.
"I've never seen you come here on your day off. Isn't that a bit strange?"
"Jeno wanted something sweet," you lied, "and we have the best sweets. What, can I not come here on my day off?” Man did jaemin find you annoying right now. It was getting to the point that talking to you was becoming a chore. Either he couldn’t talk to you because you ignored him or you started speaking in ways that made his eye twitch.
"You're gonna be in so much trouble later." Jaemin muttered low enough for you to hear. Jeno smirked at jaemins words too, knowing this was working way too well for you. "I should get back to work before irene gets mad and you guys should get going too."
You raised a brow, "And why is that?"
"Jeno always brings his dates home to fuck."
"If you're jealous then just say it." You growled.
Jaemin looked between you and a red faced jeno and snickered, "Im not jealous, I already had my turn." He winked and walked away leaving you and jeno staring at each other with wide eyes.
"I...feel like this didn’t go as we intended.." jeno laughed but with no emotion, almost in a sadistic way.
You puffed out your cheeks, not sure what to do now that jaemin was playing like this too.
"I should bring you back home." He started standing but you grabbed his hand to stop him.
"No wait.” He looked down at you, “Isn't there a party later?"
"Yeah?" jeno tilted his head, wondering why you’re asking this question when you never go to any of the frat party’s.
"Lucas is throwing it right?" Jeno nodded his head and you perked up, "Can we go?"
It was a strange request, you never wanted to go to any parties because you worked and studied whenever you felt the need to, so parties were never on your mind. But right now, you felt that a party is what you need. You've never been but it can't be that bad if you're with someone. And you even know the host so there should be other people you know too. It would be fun anyway.
"If you really want to, but you might lose me at some point."
"That’s okay," your face said otherwise, "I’ll try to find someone I know." It wasn’t likely that you would, but you knew that the main people who were going to go was hyuck and lucas. There was also jaehyun and johnny, the only thing was you didn’t know them as well as hyuck or lucas and ever talked to them a few times. They were nice, but you probably wouldn't go up to them and strike up a conversation.
"Alright then let's go, the party’s gonna start in like two hours. And seeing how long it took you just to get ready for this stupid date, you’re probably gonna need it." Jeno pulled you up by the hand that stopped him before, and you both walked out of the cafe.
You got into jenos car and put on your seat belt waiting patiently for him to drive off. The only problem was that he was busy on his phone, trying to find music to play.
"Don’t look at me like that." Jeno did a double take at your unamused face that clearly stated you wanted to leave so you can get ready for the party.
"Then pick a damn song and let's go." You smacked his thigh repeatedly causing him to groan and put his playlist on shuffle, driving off after hitting play. "See, that wasn’t so hard now was it?"
"Your’e annoying. I cant believe i even said yes to this fake dating thing. Now I see why jaemin didn’t respond."
"Hey that's not very nice," you pouted, "and don't make me think of that for God sake, its depressing."
"Good now shut up and let me drive." And so you did, letting just the music and jenos quiet singing be the only thing playing in your ears.
It was a quick ride anyway from your job to the apartment, jimin was doing his normal thing which was sitting on the couch shirtless and watching dramas. The little up and down he gave jeno wasn't unseen by you either, but you never commented as you walked by with a smirk.
Jeno was close behind you too almost like a lost puppy. He even sat on your bed and watched you apply a bit of make up for the party and lazily lounged about as you picked an outfit, not sure whether to go with an innocent pink flowy skirt, or black ripped jeans.
"I like the skirt better," jeno hoisted himself on the bed, "it gives me better access-"
"Don’t even think about it!" You whipped a pillow straight to his head, he wasn’t quick to dodge as it hit him perfectly where you wanted it to, "I’m about to choose the jeans."
The boy tilted his head as he pouted at the two choices in your hand, Jeno preferred the innocent look on women but this wasn’t for him--in fact it wasn’t for anyone except yourself, but he couldn’t stop from staring at the pretty baby pink skirt.
"How about you try them on and pick which one you think looks better on you." He smiled that eye smile of his after having a little war with himself.
You nodded your head and rushed to the bathroom to throw on one of the bottoms first.
Once you came back, you stood in front of jeno with the jeans on and checked yourself out in the mirror. It hugged your waist sweetly and complimented your legs well, but you didn’t think this was going to be the winner out of the two.
"Okay maybe a skirt would look better." You whispered loud enough for jeno to hear.
"Told you! Skirts suit you better anyways." Jeno sat against the headboard in victory as you went back to change into a skirt. The only thing left was a top, but jeno seemed to already have that covered when he threw a white laced bralette at your face. "This is cute." He made heart eyes at the bralette you held up.
"It is but don't you think it would show too much?" You questioned, though you couldn’t lie that you were a bit tempted to wear it though it did cut a bit low.
"Dude its fine, a lot of other girls wear way worse stuff than what I just gave you."
You decided to trust jenos words, and left to put on the shirt. Unsurprisingly it looked amazing with the skirt and your beautiful skin. So maybe jeno was good at picking clothes out, but you wouldn't tell him that.
After doing any last few touches you had, you and jeno left after saying goodbye to jimin, who was still checking jeno out, and left for the party.
"You’re not gonna change?" You wondered as you sat in the car.
Jeno shrugged and smiled, "I’m a guy so I don't care what I wear."
"Thats cap."
Jeno rolled his eyes and began driving to the destination. Sometime during the ride you snatched his phone to find a good song to play, ignoring the boy who whined as you took it from him.
After finding a song and placing the phone back down, you carelessly started belching the lyrics out to purposely irritate jeno who was struggling to not pull the car over and leave.
"Y/n, who sings this song?"
"Michael Jackson, why?"
"Please keep it that way."
"I-"
"And we are here!!" Jeno slammed on his breaks and peacefully left the car as if he didn’t just insult your singing. You got out, a bit intimidated by the crowd of people standing outside dancing with drinks in hand while others smoked. Girls all in tight shirts that hugged them perfectly or the shorts that made their ass pop almost literally. Boys being boys by taking shots or chugging their beer in competitions. This was all new to you and somehow you found yourself clinging onto jenos arm like a little girl.
"Is it always this crowded?" You looked up waiting for his answer.
"Yeah but that's because it's lucas' party. He always knows how to bring people in," he looked around at some of the unfamiliar faces that were chilling by the entrance, "c’mon let's go inside."
Jeno dragged you in like you were the lightest thing and passed you a cup once at a table filled with drinks.
"Want something. Maybe a shot?" Jeno winked as you scoffed.
You looked between the variety of drinks, they were all too strong or too bitter for your liking because of your lack of drinking so it only made your face scrunch, "These are all disgusting."
"Oh come on! Don't tell me you're a light weight!" Jeno complained but needless to say he still grabbed your cup, barely filling it with some alcohol and handed it back.
You looked at the somewhat dark liquid and sniffed it. Not the sweetest scent, but it is what it is. Tilting your head back, you drank the small amount that jeno gave you and he watched with wide eyes as you coughed at the intense flavor. Something like a mix of cinnamon.
"...you just drank fireball.." jeno mumbled but you were still focused on the burning sensation in the back of your throat. It definitely isn’t a smooth drink and its fairly strong, something you can't take, but you shook the cup in his face for more, "Are you trying to get wasted?"
"Well we are at a party-"
"Y/NNN!!!!" A voice interrupted the conversation and you both turned to see none other than lucas himself running towards you with wide arms, two cups in hand, and a huge smile on his face. "I haven't seen you in so long!!" Lucas engulfed you in a bear crushing hug making jeno laugh behind you.
"You saw me last week." You said in his chest, still being crushed by the giant.
"That’s a long time for some people, be considerate man." Lucas let go, drinking out of the cup in his right hand. "So what brought you here? You never come to parties."
"I asked jeno-"
Lucas spat out his drink, "Jeno!?" He looked behind you to jeno smiling and waving at him. "I think i drank too much cuz im seeing shit." He stared into his drink.
Jeno chuckled and took the other drink out of lucas' hand, "You aren't seeing things." He started drinking from the cup and Lucas frowned watching the younger. "She just wanted to come with me for some reason."
Lucas looked at you and you nodded back, "Then now that you're here, get drunk so we can play games."
"More fireball?" Jeno lifted the bottle up and Lucas nodded.
"More fireball."
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You shouldn't have taken more than 2 shots of fireball. It was impossible for you to think straight, in fact, you found yourself sitting on jenos lap with him being equally as drunk, well, maybe not as bad but still pretty hammered. 
There were even times where you both would start flirting with no context. From someone else's point of view, it was probably funny, but to you and him, it was like you wanted to get into each others pants.
"Look," jeno lazily pointed over to the entrance where seulgi walked in with jaemin close behind. "I have a plan if you wanna do it."
"Hmm," you frowned at the two, jaemin was smiling at seulgi who was talking his ear off and giving him subtle flirtatious hints while she walked to the drink table, "Sure what is it?"
Smirking, jeno moved his hand lower on your waist, "Promise you won't kill me after this?"
"Depends on what you're gonna do."
Jeno reached to take a sip of beer, knowing that after this night he'd be throwing up from all the drinking, "Ill do it when he looks over."
A drunken pout sat on your face as you were so curious to know what he had in mind, but jeno still grinned at your behavior, rubbing up and down on your waist.
What shocked you the most was when jeno suddenly put his lips on yours. You've figured out by now that this was his plan so you didn't push him off.
Though you couldn't see it, jenos was staring into jaemins eyes as he smirked against your lips. It was like he beat jaemin at something and came up to the top for once. But you were too focused in making out with jeno to even notice the burning eyes in your back, watching as jeno gripped your hips and kissed you back hungrily like a devil. He tasted like alcohol and you couldn't say you were any sweeter, but maybe it was the intoxication that made you start to enjoy this moment a little more than you should’ve.
"W-what the hell...?" Jeno pulled back hesitantly looking behind you. Trying to look back, jeno took you by the face making you look at him, "Please only look at me."
"Whyyyy?" You leaned into his hand and jeno almost softened up but clenched his jaw in return.
"Drink some water." He changed the subject, handing you his bottle of water that he kept with him the entire time for whenever any of you needed it, and right now seemed like the time.
You swatted his hand away, almost spilling the water and started, "But I wanna look."
"Unless you want to see jaemin shoving his tongue down seulgis throat, I suggest you don’t."
"Hes what!??"
Jeno giggled like a little school girl probably from your furious face, "Its what you get, so don't even get mad when you do the same thing."
"But you’re the one who kissed me first, I only went along with it." Your growled and took a heavy chug from the water you pushed away. "I’m mad at you."
"Should’ve pushed me off."
"I figured you did it for a reason."
"Then don’t get mad."
"I- you- I'm gonna be mad!!"
Jeno rubbed his temples like you were the most infuriating thing known to man. He doesn't know how jaemin could put up with you and hes amazed how far he got with your antics. It was ticking him off but he didn't want to just drop you now, it was still somewhat fun.
"We should go dance." You looked towards the many groups of sweaty people grinding on each other, having a good time enjoying the party. You sighed, it would be fun you thought. 
Jeno perked up at your sudden mood change noticing how you weren't in the slightest mad anymore, now registering that you have mood swings when you're drunk or tipsy.
"I don’t dance."
"Don’t lie! You're literally a dancer, c’mon!" You got up off his lap and hoisted him up, bringing him to the dance floor. He placed his hands on your hips as you moved against him, just letting the music flow through you and let your body move on its own.
You didn’t actually care if jaemin saw you grinding on his best friend because right now, you were actually having fun. Maybe it was because you were wasted or maybe it was because of the excitement and happiness here that made you love it so much. Either way, you found joy just dancing with jeno.
"Isn't this fun?" You moved your head to smirk at him, but jeno seemed a bit uncomfortable.
"Maybe if you weren't grinding on me, I'd say yes, but right now it's a hard no."
You knew what he meant and that’s why you pushed back a bit. Stopping when he gripped your hips in a way that hurt a bit.
"Stop it y/n." He whispered in your ear.
You whined and said, "Make me." Jeno stood back, not sure what to do right now. He may be a fuck boy but he has boundaries. Plus you’re drunk and don’t know what you’re saying.
"We should go home."
"But I wanna dance and have fun with you!!" You voice came out slurred and jeno automatically took another step back.
"Not gonna happen, you’re wasted." Grabbing your hand, he walked towards the front door so he could bring you home, but of course this would be the perfect time for jaemin to stop him.
"Whats wrong with her?" His voice was laced with concern seeing your current state; droopy eyes, and a way too happy smile.
"Shes drunk so I’m taking her back home." Jeno tried walking passed but jaemin stopped him again. If jeno wasn’t as drunk or tispy, jaemin probably would’ve let him bring you back, but jaemin couldn’t be so sure and wanted you safe. Plus, he may or may not be a bit mad at jeno.
"No stay, I can bring her back." Jaemin pushed, not because he wanted to show you discipline for the last few days, but because he was genuinely worried for your current state.
"What about seulgi?"
Jaemin looked back at the girl who was now talking with some of her friends, clearly not paying attention or taking notice of his disappearance. "She'll be fine." He brushed it off, "Lemme take y/n."
It took a few seconds for jeno to let go of your hand and stand back for jaemin to take you before you fell over. But he was so gentle with you, and because of that jeno was sure jaemin wouldn’t do anything bad to you.
"Be careful." Jeno said, jaemin nodded back and walked away with you slightly stumbling down the stairs just after he said that.
You started giggling at yourself while jaemin was actually struggling to keep you up. Somehow though, he made it to the car before you tripped and out your seat belt on before climbing in the drivers seat.
"Nana, where are we going?" You slurred.
Jaemin smiled at the little nickname you never used, "To my house if that’s fine with you."
"Your house is nice." Leaning against the window, you rested your head as you started zoning out.
Jaemin didn't mind though, he wanted you to get some rest, at least before he got to his house so he could put you to bed. But it wasn't like you'd sleep for long because the drive was only 5 minutes. 
When jaemin started carrying you out, that was when you started putting up a fight. Not only was jaemin try his best to not get angry, but he also tried to reason with himself when you started whining and pushing him away. Either sweet talk or show who's in charge.
"Y/n please cut it out, I’m just bringing you to my room." Jaemin groaned, struggling to keep you still in his arms.
"But I wanna walk."
"You can barely walk right now."
You didn’t care and continued moving around and kicking his arms away trying to get him to put you down, but just like you--he was stubborn and he carried you the whole way to his bed.
Softly putting you down, he went to grab some clothes for you. When he came back you already discarded your skirt and were about to take your bralette off until jaemin stopped you.
"What are you doing?" He pulled your hand away from the strap.
"I wanna play with you."
Jaemin shook his head at your sad face and pulled your body closer to his so he could start getting you changed, "Its almost 3am and you're drunk." but you whined once he rejected you.
“So what? Im still giving you my consent anyway.” You said, smiling at him as he took your top off, quickly putting a shirt on to cover you up. He wondered how you could wear such a tight top without feeling uncomfortable.
“You're not giving me full consent, y/n. I’m not gonna take advantage of you.” He stepped away after dressing you. Jaemin had only put a shirt on you and just left you in your underwear since it seemed the most comfortable. 
Jaemin changed too, only wearing sweatpants and no shirt because he was most comfortable that way himself, and crawled into bed with you. Somehow you found yourself already snuggled into his chest, breathing in his delicious cologne.
“Goodnight nana.” you mumbled into his chest.
“Goodnight princess,” jaemin hesitated for a second before speaking again, “nana loves you.”
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You woke up to a painful headache and an empty bed. You knew where you were at least, but didn’t know how you got here. The last think you remembered was sitting with lucas, jeno and some other people playing a game of beer pong. That was probably when you got hammered, but why where you at jaemins house?
As much as you wanted to sit up and go find jaemin, your headache is what kept you in bed.
“Jaemin!!” You screamed, the sound of feet came running up the stairs.
“What is it? Are you okay? Do you need water? Medicine?” Question after question and jaemin seemed worried at your distressed state.
“Medicine and water would be nice actually.” You murmured and jaemin was already on his way to get what you needed.
Jaemin handed you two pills and a glass of ice water. You thanked him and took them, swallowing both the pills and the water at the same time.
“Do you need anything else?” His face still held concern and you almost wondered why he wasn’t mad at you like he had been for the past few days. Though you easily brushed it off as a sign that maybe he let you off the hook.
“No I’m good now.” You shook your head causing jaemin to sigh in relief and fall on the bed next to you. He gave you space, letting you cuddle and wrap yourself up in his blankets assuming that you were trying to find ways to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. And as much as he wanted to hold you, he was almost too scared to. It was funny really. Jaemin; the most out-going yet introverted person ever, was too scared to touch you right now.
Maybe it was his feelings getting the best of him or maybe he was too scared to finally fall in love with someone hes afraid of hurting in the end.
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honeyycorpse · 3 years
Text
Lost n Found (Kuzusouda fic)
   Fuyuhiko couldn't find Kazuichi that day. He was no where to be seen. Which was unusual for his boyfriend, the taller male would want to follow the other like a lost puppy most of the time, often showing up at Fuyuhiko's dorm door when he's not working in his room or the shop the school has for his talent.
   "Peko, have you seen Kaz? I haven't seen him all day and he won't answer my texts." Fuyuhiko had almost startled Peko mid practice with the question. He had been sitting watching his sibling as they trained but hadn't brought up his reasoning to be around Peko so much that day. Peko knew he had a lot on his mind though.
   The silver haired one set down their bamboo sword, "My apologizes but I have not. Have you asked Ibuki or maybe Leon from the 78th class?" Fuyuhiko shook his head.
   "I'll go find them and maybe ask around on the way, thanks Peko." Peko nodded, "Just keep me updated."
   Fuyuhiko passed by many in the hallways on his way to where Ibuki usually would hang around. The hall monitor with crimson eyes, a short female with blonde hair along side a taller female being a shy stutter bug as usual, even the robot and his detective boyfriend but none would be Kazuichi.
   Entering the dimly light music room, the Yakuza already knew Ibuki was in here from the sound of her odd music filling his ears. He saw a swift figure on the stage and another still frame sitting in a chair in front of the bold stage. Fuyuhiko flicked on the lights to illuminate the rest of the music room.
   "AH! Who turned on the sun!" The music's cut was unpleasant and there was a sight of Ibuki rubbed their eyes with the palms of her hand. The other female was Miu Iruma who, coincidently, was another one of Kazuichi's friends. She also rubbed her eyes to adjust to the sudden burst of light.
   "My bad, I just came to ask a quick question." Fuyuhiko didn't plan on staying long as he leaned against the door frame.
   "Ooohhh Mr. Yakuza coming to ask a question! Well spill away virgin!" Miu's mascara was smudged due to her frequent eye rubbing, and if it wasnt for the comment, Fuyuhiko would have actually told her.
   "Have either of you seen Kazuichi at all today? I haven't been able to find him."
   Ibuki put a finger to her chin to insinuate they were thinking, "Oh- Ibuki is sorry! They haven't seen Kazuichi since dinner yesterday!"
   Miu also tried giving it a thought, Fuyuhiko had no faith she knew something until she said, "Nah I haven't seen the twerp today but I saw him talking to Leon yesterday before the nighttime announcement. Don't know what they were talking about or if you knew."
   Fuyuhiko didn't know, but It's almost confirmed now Leon had been the last to see Kazuichi. The Yakuza gave Kazuichi a goodnight kiss a little after dinner because he was going to bed early. Fuyuhiko thanked the two and turned back off the lights. He knew he needed to find Leon soon.
   The blonde first peered outside a window from the second floor at a good spot to where Leon would be practicing baseball. To no avail, Fuyuhiko instead tried to remember people other than Kazuichi, Leon surrounds himself with. He sooned realized the hall monitor he saw earlier was seen around Leon sometimes. Fuyuhiko rushed back down to the first floor to find the man, he quickly sped walked throughout the hallways, peeking into classrooms to make sure he wasn't in any. Turning the corner sharply, he began to pick up his pace, he didn't know when his heart began to race but his thoughts were soon torn from him as he heard a loud,
   "Slow down!! You cannot run in the halls!!"
   Fuyuhiko stopped instantly and whipped around and was faced to face with the who he was looking for at the time, Kiyotaka Ishimaru.
   "I was looking for you that's why!"
   "You ran in the halls to come find me? You could have done the same thing without running!" Kiyotaka shot.
   The Yakuza rolled his eyes, "Whatever, have you seen Leon? I need to talk to him."
   Kiyotaka tapped his foot, he obviously knew something, "This will not turn into a fight will it? I will not inform you about Leon's whereabouts if you're out to get physical!"
   Fuyuhiko was getting frustrated already with the taller man, as he always did, "No you idiot! I'm just trying to find my fucking boyfriend!"
   "Kazuichi? The one with the garish outfits?!"
   "Yeah that would be him." Fuyuhiko huffed. Taka let out a big laugh as he always does, "Ah! You should have just said so! Leon is with chihiro in the greenhouse! Chihiro may not be there anymore though.." Fuyuhiko let out a sigh of relief and mumbled a slight thank you. Before Kiyotaka could say anything, the blonde bolted up the stairs as fast as he could.
   He didn't notice how much he had started to worry about Kazuichi, even though it wasn't like him to go a whole day without talking or even seeing Fuyuhiko, Kazuichi has disappeared a couple times after being mad at his boyfriend. Though, Fuyuhiko couldn't recall him ever doing anything to piss off or upset the pink haired man recently. Maybe Kazuichi was instead having a bad day, wanting to be left alone and deal with whatever it was by himself. That wasn't uncommon for him either.
   What broke Fuyuhiko out of his thoughts this time was a tap on his shoulder. He hadn't even made it into the greenhouse so the sight of Leon Kuwata was a surprise as he turned around.
   Leon rubbed the back of his neck, "Man I knew you'd come looking for me. Can't find Kazuichi can you?"
   "Don't make it sound so fucking ominous! Just tell me where he is!" Fuyuhiko barked, clamping his fists shut.
   Leon took a step back, "Wow chill man! He's in the greenhouse but he told me to guard it for him so no one will go in to bother him,, but he doesn't seem too good so if he gets pissed you got in just tell him to blame it on me." Leon shuffled over to unlock the doors to the greenhouse, "He really needs you, man. Even if he doesn't admit it."
   Fuyuhiko took a peek inside the greenhouse and looked back towards Leon, "Thanks." Leon nodded and shut the door behind the blonde.
   The Yakuza didn't see anyone at first but as he began turned the corner of the giant plants stationed in the middle of the greenhouse, he heard a small sniffle. He stopped, and peer around the corner and there he was. Kazuichi Souda.
   Leon was right when he said Kazuichi didn't seem too good. Kazuichi's back was facing where Fuyuhiko stood, but the sight was just....sad. His beanie was across from him, assumed to be thrown with how disheveled it looked, his slouch from sitting on the floor was worse than usual, his hair seemed unkempt and tattered, not even his jumpsuit was tied in the front like he would always do when he was too hot, it was instead displayed across the cold floor. The most noticeable feature of disarray from Kazuichi, was the small sobs and whimpers that left him. Fuyuhiko knew he couldn't leave Kazuichi alone like this.
   "Kaz?" Fuyuhiko's voice was calm and quiet but Kazuichi still jumped and whipped around. Kazuichi didn't even get to respond as a hoard of tears streamed down his face and he ran to hug Fuyuhiko. The vaster sobbed into his boyfriend's shoulder. Fuyuhiko wrapped his arms around Kazuichi and began to rub his back, trying to calm him with light "Shh"s and "It's okay"s.
   The blonde was able to set Kazuichi in his lap, on the rough floor once again as his lover began to calm down. Fuyuhiko tried his best to brush and play with Kazuichi's hair without accidentally pulling at it and disturbing the boy. He used his other hand to rub soothing circles around Kazuichi's back under his tank top.
   "You wanna talk about it?" The blonde whispered, still holding Kazuichi close to him. Fuyuhiko saw the tears fall from Kazuichi's eyes as he blinked tears away, he waited for a response with patience.
   He soon felt the pink haired boy shift and sit up, wiping his tears from his eyes and shaking his head, "Not...not right now.." He avoided eye contact with his lover.
   Fuyuhiko nodded, "Whenever you're ready to talk I'm here to listen, Babe." He placed a kiss on Kazuichi's cheek, "I love you."
   "Thank you..I love you too.."
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jungwonlvrr · 4 years
Text
DEAR DRACO MALFOY
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Pairings: Draco x Female Reader
Genre: angst
Warnings: no warnings
Y/n: your name
Y/b/n: your girl best friends name
Y/h/n: your house name
Summary: y/n send letters to Draco but the more letters she sends, the less oblivious she gets of her feelings for him.
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Dear The Slytherin Prince,
Hey! It’s your best friend, Y/n. You told me you really liked y/b/n. I’m sorry I ran away without giving you an answer. I talked with her and she likes you too! That’s crazy isn’t it? She wants you to meet her in the astronomy tower after classes.
Your best friend, Y/n
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Dear My Best Friend,
I heard you two got together. You guys would make a cute couple. I’m quite worried you’re going to leave me for her. But you wouldn’t would you? You promised. Today, I rode buckbeat with the twins, It was quite fun. Bummer you didn’t tag along lol.
Your Favorite y/h/n, Y/n.
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Dear Draco Alfredo,
I see you showed y/b/n our secret hiding spot. That place was only suppose to be between you and I but it’s okay. You two are the couple so I can’t fight and get mad lol. It’s just a bummer because it’s not so secret for you and I anymore. Today, you skipped classes, it’s not out do the ordinary for you to do so but Y/b/n skipped classs also and she never skips. I assume you two met up in our the secret hide out.
Your best wingwoman, Y/n
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Dear Draco,
It’s been two weeks since I last sent you a letter. I was busy. And two weeks since our hiding spot became yours and y/b/n’s hiding spot. That place feels not special anymore so I stopped going there. I’m glad you’re still speaking to me though! I just miss our adventures. We should go on a adventure soon!
Your best friend, Y/n
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Dear The Slytherin Barbie,
Hey! You told me we would go on our adventures, I was really happy until you brought her along. Don’t get it wrong, I’m happy for you both! I just missed the me and you times, it barely happens nowadays. You’re too caught up with Y/b/n to spend time with your best friend. It makes me upset.
Your best friend, Y/n.
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Dear The one and only Draco,
Thanks for getting me soup today, I didn’t feel so well and you realized that. I guess we still have our best friend telepathy hahah. You’re missing out on action though, last night the twins set up fireworks in the forest! I know right, crazy isn’t it. It’s kind of weird experiencing fun things without you around, I’m too use to being around you haha. I also heard you gave Y/b/n the bracelet I made you, I was kind of, maybe really upset. I put a lot of thought into that bracelet.
Your one and only, Y/n.
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Dear Draco Tomato,
It’s been a month since I last sent you a letter, I was busying studying for the exams. I don’t even know why I keep writing to you when I could just talk to you. I guess I don’t have the confidence to talk to you anymore since you seemed to be really busy with your girlfriend. You don’t even reply back so it’s embarrassing sometimes but I know you read them, Goyle told me. He just told me you didn’t have the time to reply which is compeletly fine with me! Your girlfriend must have found that soft side of yours quick, you two are so PDA now , it feels so weird since you’re not normally affectionate.
Your best friend, Y/n.
———————————————————
Dear Draco,
The more I watch you and your girlfriend do your things, the more I realize I have this heavy feeling in my heart that makes me really sad. Honestly, I think it’s just the anxiety I have stored up for the upcoming exams. A day alone with you could definitely cool it down.
Y/n
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Dear Draco Malfoy,
Why are you ignoring me? Did I do something to upset you? I’m really sorry if I did! What can I do to make it up for you? Oh yeah, I’ll buy you your favorite, chocolate frogs! You better forgive me, I’m paying for this lol.
From you know, Y/n
———————————————————
Dear The Slytherin,
I hope you enjoyed the chocolate frogs! You talked to today which made me expectionally happy. I get so happy when me and you have a conversation, it could be the smallest and my day will be brightened!how do you do these things?
Your Best friend, Y/n
———————————————————
Dear Draco Draco Draco,
You’re ignoring me again. That hurts you know. It makes me really upset, giving me a empty feeling in my heart. I miss my best friend. You can’t do this to me.
Your best friend, Y/n
———————————————————
Dear Draco,
Stop ignoring me. You’re acting as if I don’t exist anymore! What did I do wrong? It’s been 3 weeks of this constant ignoring. It really hurts, Malfoy. You don’t know how many tears are being spent of your stupidness. I’m your best friend! Don’t you remember? Please don’t forget me. I know you’re reading this, Draco. Please reply, I miss you.
Your still best friend, Y/n
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Dear Malfoy,
Today, you told me you didn’t want to be friends with anymore. I’m confused, I didn’t do anything wrong. It was so sudden, I didn’t expect this ending for us, I mean sure you were being an ass and ignoring me but I thought you were just being Draco. I’m too numb to cry right now. I miss you, kiddo.
Your ex best friend, Y/n.
__________________________________
Dear Malfoy,
I heard Y/b/n was the reason you didn’t want to be friends anymore. I don’t know why I even called her my girl best friend. She stabbed me in the back, she knew how much you meant to me. I guess you were my only real friend and I lost that too. You were a real friend until you started dating her, pathetic isn’t it?.
Your ex best friend, Y/n.
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Dear Draco Malfoy,
I don’t even know why I continue to send you letters as if we are on good terms. I really want to be on good terms but you clearly don’t want that. Today I also found out from Crabbe that you threw away that chocolate frog I have bought for you. That hurt deeply. It feels like actual knives are being carved into my heart, every single day. When I see you, I feel so at home and I just want to hug you and cry while calling you mean.
Your ex best friend, Y/n.
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Dear Draco,
It’s been 2 months, I know I shouldn’t call you by your first name anymore but I miss you. I’m not mad at you anymore, I just want my best friend back. Why did things have to turn out this way? You’re really happy with you girlfriend, I can tell. You never smiled that big with me. I keep holding onto us like we are going to come back to each other.
Your ex best friend, Y/n,
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Dear Malfoy,
I know you’re still reading these. Maybe to make fun of me, I don’t know anymore. But recently I found something out. It’s quite a shock to me. I’m in love with you, Malfoy. The way I feel for you isn’t a normal way to feel for a friend, I’m in love. Only love makes you this crazy, Professer Mcgonnal told me. I think she’s referring to me sending letters almost everyday, expecting a good outcome. I’m too deep in love with you, from the way you talk to the way you move, from the way your blond hair falls into your forehead, from the way your grey eyes wander the rooms, from the way your voice called out my name so naturally, from the way you use to hug me and hum on my bad days, from the way you took me sledding and from the way your lips curved into a perfect smile. I fell in love with you and your personality, ignoring your toxic traits. For I wasn’t enough, what we had wasn’t enough that you chose her over me. Oh what you do for love.
Your secret lover, Y/n.
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Dear Malfoy,
Your girlfriend found my letter and her and her gang beat me up for it. She doesn’t understand. I would never try to sabotage your relationship with her. I just wanted to express my feelings, clearly I can’t even do that. Maybe it was wrong for me to give you a love confession but I wasnt trying to get you to be with me. She wants me to never send letters to you again, but she doesn’t have to know I’m sending this letter. You’re still my best friend in my heart, Draco.
Your ex best friend, Y/n.
———————————————————
Dear Draco Malfoy,
Hey, it’s been a couple of months. I hope you’re doing well. I finally come to my closure. I’m moving on from this chapter of heartbreak and misery. You were a chapter in my life, a really really big and important one, but I was just a page in yours. I guess all good things come to an end eventually. I’m getting happier and I’m finally moving on from you. Of course I still love you! You’re still my best friend in my heart like I said. But it’s over now. I’m accepting that. You’re still with her, after all this time. I’m really happy for you both, really!
Y/n
———————————————————
Dear Draco,
You looked awful for the past week. Are you doing okay? I know I said I’ve moved on but I can still send letters to check up on you, you still matter to me. Y/b/n seemed to not care that you looked emotionally tired. She just kept going on about her drama. It makes me sad, you deserve someone who will listen to you like how you listen to her. I can tell you love her a lot.
Y/n
———————————————————
Dear Draco,
It’s been about a month. I found someone! I’ve officially moved on. Don’t be sad lol, as if you would. His name is Neville Longbottom. I think you know him. He’s really sweet and I don’t deserve him one bit. He bought me my favorite candies yesterday, it made me heart feel so soft and warm inside. He’s adorable. He makes me really happy, I hope you find that soon since Y/b/n isn’t doing a good job at that, lol.
Y/n
———————————————————
Dear Draco,
I heard what happened, She cheated. Of course she would. I mean I didn’t expect it but it’s not a surprise either. She honestly really did like you at the beginning of your relationship with her, I don’t know what happened. You’re still welcomed to come back to this chapter of my life, I’ll gladly accept my best friend back. Just no more romantic feelings included. Just the old me and you. Oh yeah, about me and Neville, he’s really a sweetheart, i think I’m in love. He makes me feel a way you didn’t. Like I’m loved and special.
Y/n
———————————————————
Dear Draco,
So we’re friends again. I’m glad. I missed you kiddo. I’m glad I’m getting my best friend back. Let’s make a plan and meet up and catch up. Wouldn’t that sound lovely?
————————————
Dear Draco,
It’s been a week of catching up and our best friend connection came back quickly. Your ex isn’t very happy about you and I becoming friends again but it doesn’t matter.
Y/n
———————————————————
Dear Y/n,
Yes I’ve read all your letters. They’re really sweet and I’m now realizing how much you cared. It’s been about a year now and I’m rereading your letters. You’re my best friend still, and we’re still like two peas in a pod. I’m happy for you and Neville. Happy late one year to you two though. He seems to the perfect one for you, I can see the love in both of your eyes. Maybe I’m selfish for saying this but I wish I were Neville. I wasted my love on someone who wasn’t worth it when I had someone right in front of me who loved me better and more than Y/b/n ever would. You’re still the same prankster I grew up with. I’m really sorry I broke you badly last year. I really am sorry. I never did want to stop being your friend, I loved you (as a friend ofc) but she made me choose between her and you and my foolishness was too blinded by love to realize what I was throwing away. Also, I did eat the chocolate frog you got me, don’t be sad lol. I fallen in love with you through the year we’ve tried again. Maybe I was always in love with you, maybe I just didn’t know and went for your then best friend. When I found out you were in love with me, I felt these waves of emotions come over me. I was happy but sad but confused. I’m sorry I let y/b/n hands onto that letter, you didn’t deserve what those girls did to you. So to my best friend. I’m in love with you. It’s my turn for this one sided love but it’s unfair that your one sided story with me is worse than mine since I know you wouldn’t leave me for anything. I’m really happy for you and Neville. But I watch your eyes as he walks by, what a sight for sore eyes, brighter than a blue sky. he’s got you mesmerized while I die.
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smokahuntis · 4 years
Text
The choice
Pairing: Din Dijarin X reader
Warnings: mentions of blood, canon violence, angst, injury,
Summery: As the two mandalorians Din and (y/n) hunt a bounty her armor is damaged and she needs to make a quick escape, however an injury leads their bounty to get away.
Authors note: this is a short one, could be a part 2 if suggested. I know it’s not really what was requested and I’m sorry but it’s almost? I haven’t written in a long while so I feel like this is just a warm up! But please send request and also is your want to be tagged in any specific character!
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“Hold my hand” din said pulling her threw the little town as gun shots run threw the air. She held his hand tightly, firing her gun back at their attackers as they hid behind a building.
“Din-my armor” she said looking at him, the bottom half of her chest plate was ruined from a hit earlier and it was older, well worn.
“Just stay here- you can’t fight anymore you’ll get hurt” he said looking at her “get back to the child, start up the ship” he instructed before handing her the key. She took it quickly and ran towards the crest.
Din watched her run for a moment before going back to the fight, he couldn’t let her fight after the hit she took earlier. He knew she was strong but without good beskar she shouldn’t be there, and with the crest not to far away he trusted her to get there.
As she ran she didn’t look back, she needed to get to the child. Over the time she spent with the other she’d grown rather close with the child and Din. Still yet to see each other’s faces, even tho with both of them being mandalorian it was allowed. They wanted to wait until they were ready to see each other, or it was an emergency. The two mandalorians had been with each other for quite some time now, it was there job really. Both of them got attached to the kid in a short amount of time and now they were to protect him and return him to his kind.
It’s all she cared about right now, getting back to the child. Her armor was to damaged to fight and he was left alone in the crest, she hated kids really, until she got him. It was only a split second she looked back, just to make sure din was okay, but that split second almost cost her a life time as she went flying. She was shot right in the back of the neck between her armor and helmet, luckily her helmet took most of the hit but it still knocked her out cold onto the ground.
That’s hot he found her, laying on the ground seemingly dead. “No! No no no no no no!” Din rushed to her side and turned her over In his panic. He was on his way back to the crest, their bounty got away and he was ready to track him again, but not without her. “Wake up, come on (y/n) wake up”
He was frantic, patting the side of her helmet to do anything, before he picked her up and rushed her back to the ship. As he got there he was quick to lay her on her little cot and check her pulse. Still alive. Perfect, now he just needs to help her, which was bad too. They were both quick to learn she was gifted in the medical field and he was not, this will be fun.
He propped her head up and started taking off her armor, it’s not like she’ll need it anyways, it’s been ruined. He didn’t remove her helmet yet, he wanted to see what he could do with it on. So quickly he found her worst wounds and used Bacta spray over them before trying to find her most major one, the back of her neck. Now he had to take her helmet off to spray it.
He was hesitant, almost scared to remove it, he knew she wouldn’t be mad, this was an emergency but still. He had to, to properly get to the wound on her neck he had to. So slowly he grabbed her old white and blue helmet she got from her father, he always admired the helmet, it wasnt very mandalorian but she wore it for the father she lost in war. It was branded with blue Jaig eyes that she wore proudly and he admired that about her, but at last, this helmet has come time to retire.
As din removed it and set it aside he was quickly amazed by her, even covered in blood and war filth she was stunning. She laid there like sleeping beauty. He didn’t really expect her to look so stunning, she was always rough around the edges and had a constant attitude, it’s like her face didn’t fit it, but the helmet did. Now it made him wonder if she was different without the helmet on, who was she alone? Who could she be with him?
Din shook his head of those thoughts and rolled her to her side, lifting her braided hair her cleaned and sprayed her wound, only a bad burn from a laser built but it hit just the right spot to knock her out. He let his bounty go to take care of her, he’s never let his bounty go for anything but right now he didn’t care. Right now it was about her.
Right as he laid her back down there was a tug at his pants, looking down us smiled under his helmet at the child “come here buddy...” he picked him up and rubbed his little back. The child looked at (y/n), seeing her without her helmet for the first time but still he could tell it was her. He cooed and reached out for her before squirming from dins large arms and into the cot.
“Mommy’s going to be fine, little man...” din reassured and watched him. He knew what he was doing when he laid his little nubby hand on her forehead and let out a few groans before she woke up. Her eyes shooting open and she was gasping for deep breathes.
(Y/n) sat up quickly and looked around “din...” she said looking at him before she realized she wasn’t wearing her fathers helmet. “What happened...” He loved her voice, it was raw and real, not modified because of the helmet.
“You were shot in the back of the neck, your helmet took most of it but it still was enough to knock you out...” din said calmly. She nodded and laid back for a moment to try to remember everything.
“And the bounty?” She asked
“Gone...” he said and she was quick to look at him “you’re more important...” he said taking her hand. “I couldn’t loose you over a bad hit... “
“Din he was worth a-“ she started but he was quick to cut her off
“He’s not worth your life...” he said sternly. “We’ll get him another time”
She nodded and sighed, din reached over and handed her water which she quickly drank before the kid snuggled into her side. “Get some rest, I’m going to take us back to Nevaro and get you some new armor” he said patting her hand. And starting up the ladder.
“Din...” she looked at him and he turned. “Thank you...” she whispered.
He smiled under the helmet and nodded before going up to the cock put and starting a flight to Nevarro.
(Y/n) however was laying with the kid, who was fascinated with touching her skin, his little hands smooshed her face as he got to know her look. “Kid...” she said gently pulling her back to her side, “I love you and all but don’t do that” she looked at him and he just got back on her chest and pinched her cheeks, she just groaned and let it happen. Din smiled at them as he watched them on the cameras.
It was worth it, choosing her over the bounty, it was all worth it.
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Tags: @onabouteverything @blxwjobsforclones @a-dorin @everythinggeeky @thisis-theway
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roseworth · 3 years
Text
Only Fools Do What I Do
listen i know i said i wasnt going to make anything for today but i started thinking about this last night right before i fell asleep and i really wanted to make it :) 
word count: 2055
relationship: eugene/rapunzel
description: Right after Eugene "left" Rapunzel, they both need to come to terms with their separation and loss of hope. Rapunzel travels back to her tower, and Eugene is stuck in a prison cell. All they can do is think of each other and reflect on where they went wrong.
@autumn-ravenclaw @gleamful-lanterns for new dream appreciation week day 3- date (he calls the day they met a date so im counting it lol). 
title inspired by FOOLS by Troye Sivan
AO3
Rapunzel felt like an idiot.
Mother had told her that the world was cruel, yet she still had the nerve to be surprised. She should have known better. If she had never left her tower in the first place, she wouldn’t be hurting like this right now. It would have been better to just listen to what her Mother told her.
She could have given Eugene his satchel back as soon as she realized that he wasn’t after her hair. She could have even gone back on one of the many instances he tried to convince her to. She was stubborn and didn’t listen to anything but her own naive thoughts about the world.
And look where that got her.
She hadn’t slept all night. She and her Mother were traveling back to the tower after the disaster that was her trip outside. Mother had tried to tell her that he was just using her, but she refused to listen.
She realized she was still gripping tightly onto the small flag of the kingdom Eugene had bought her. She hid it away, making sure Mother wouldn’t see it and take it away from her. She just wanted one small reminder that it was real, that she really did leave her tower.
But was any of it real? Had he really been manipulating her that entire time?
The previous night at the campfire had felt genuine. She thought that they had truly connected. And they had spent the entire day in town together. That had easily been the best day of her life, and she knew she would keep that memory held in her heart forever. She just thought that he had felt the same way. Every time he had smiled at her and she felt her heart flutter, was that really all part of the ruse?
As she ran her thumb over the small piece of cloth she held in her hand, she tried to be angry at Eugene. Of course she should be mad. He had left her behind, and had told those ruffians about her hair. The memory of him sailing away, crown in hand, was burned into her mind. He had made her trust him just to betray that trust.
Mother told her that she shouldn’t have expected anything more from a conman, and maybe she was right. He never really cared about her, and he had sold her out at the first opportunity he got.
It just didn’t add up. He had the crown, she had given it to him. If that was all he was after, why tell the thugs about her hair? Did he really want to add salt to the wound that badly? Eugene wouldn’t do that. Or maybe he would. Apparently he had been lying to her the whole time, so she didn’t even know what he was really like.
Her mind wandered to their moment underneath the glow of the lanterns. 18 years of dreaming culminating into one perfect moment, and she spent it with him. She remembered everything he had said to her, and the way she felt alive, maybe for the first time, sitting near him and looking into his eyes.
She had misread the signals. Mother had told her time and time again that she was too naive to be in the world, and this was why. She had thought Eugene could really care about her, but it had all been a scam.
Just that thought made her eyes well up with tears. She tried to blink them away, but they were already quietly streaming down her face.
He never cared about her. All their time together had been a lie. Their time together at the campfire. Their day in town. Their almost-kiss under the lanterns. It had all been a part of his scheme to get the crown back.
Her Mother had stayed quiet their entire walk home. Rapunzel knew she was disappointed. Not only had she betrayed her Mother’s wishes, she had also forgotten everything Mother had ever told her about the world.
She tried to wipe away the tears that continued to fall down her face, but they wouldn’t stop. Every breath hurt to take. Every step felt like a mile. The grass she had been so excited to walk on now seemed like it was mocking her from under her feet.
The world was just as cruel as Mother had described, and she had fallen into its trap. She was stupid to believe she could be any different than what Mother had always told her she was.
When they finally arrived back at the tower, the sun was starting to peak up in the sky. Mother took a deep breath. “Here we are, safely home again!” she singsonged.
Home. The tower was the only home she had ever known, but it didn’t feel like home anymore. She had felt so at home with Eugene in just the span of a few days. Now that she was back at the tower, it felt distant and foreign. She couldn’t remember a time that she really felt happy inside the tower. At least not as happy as she had felt outside of it.
She took a shaky breath, wishing that she could stop crying. It felt like there was a hold in her chest as she remembered what the past few days had been. She was so happy. But none of it was real.
Her Mother groaned beside her. “Oh, please, Rapunzel, will you stop crying? It’s very unbecoming,” she berated. “Besides, you have no right to be upset. I told you what would happen, why are you surprised?”
Rapunzel sniffed and nodded, trying to brush away her tears yet again. “I’m sorry, Mother.”
Mother hummed in acceptance, then started leading her back towards the tower. “Come, come, My Flower, let’s get that dreadful braid out of your hair.”
-
Eugene felt like an idiot.
She was in danger right now, and it was all his fault. He should have known that the Stabbingtons wouldn’t be very accepting of his change in heart. If they hurt her, he was the reason why. She would have never gotten caught up in this mess if it weren’t for him.
He could have just thrown the satchel towards the Stabbingtons and left, not bothering to make conversation with them. Hell, he could have thrown the satchel into the water the second she tried to give it to him.
He should have at least told her where he was going. Now not only is she in danger, she thinks that he had given her up. Maybe he didn’t deserve for her to know the truth, though. No matter his intentions, it was his fault that she was at the hands of the Stabbingtons now. She had every right to hate him for that.
He hadn’t slept all night. Distantly, he realized his hand was stinging. He was pretty sure he had punched a wall in frustration earlier, but his mind was racing and everything that had happened since he had woken up tied to the boat was a blur. He had been pacing this tiny cell for hours trying to think of a solution. He couldn’t escape, not for lack of trying. He had wanted to pick the lock to get out and find her, but there were guards on every side of the corridor. He had no chance of getting out unseen.
He had even tried to talk to the guards and try to get them to let him go, but they refused to hear him. He honestly couldn’t blame them though. Saying that he needed to leave because the Stabbingtons had kidnapped a girl for her magic hair sounded a little bit crazy.
She didn’t deserve any of this. She was the best person he had ever met. She could light up the world just by smiling. She had just gotten to experience the world for the first time, and now she was going to be torn away from it. All because of him. 
There was no way for him to know where she was, or if she was okay. He hoped she was able to get away from the Stabbingtons, but he honestly doubted it. The Stabbingtons were not above hurting her to overpower her if she had something they wanted. And clearly, she did have something they wanted.
How did they even know? Were they following him the whole time? Maybe they had been there when she healed his hand and told him about her power. But if that was the case, why would they wait so long to reveal themselves? Surely it would have been easier to take them by surprise at the campsite.
Nothing was adding up, but his thoughts were too clouded to try to piece everything together. The only thing he could think about was the fact that Rapunzel was in danger and there was nothing he could do about it.
He wanted to take a breath, but his body wouldn’t let him. He just continued his nervous pacing back and forth as if that would help him come to a solution. He couldn’t stop imagining her, lost and hurt somewhere and wishing for some way out.
He hoped she was cursing his name right now. He hoped she was angry, wishing that she never met him. He hoped she hated him as much as he hated himself. Because he deserved for her to hate him, and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he thought that she didn’t hate him for everything he has done.
A lump started to build up in his throat. He tried to ignore it or swallow it away, but it was overwhelming all his senses. It had been years since he let himself cry, and he didn’t want to start now. But his face was heating up and the tears were making their way out.
All at once, it was like all the feelings he had kept at bay for all these years were flowing out of him. He cried because he was alone in this cell, he cried because she was in danger wherever she was, he cried because there was nothing he could do anymore. He had fucked up, and there was no turning back.
He tried to quell his sobs to no avail. The universe kept dealing out more blows, and his brain was screaming at him. Every decision he had made led to her getting taken by the Stabbingtons. If he hadn’t even started thieving 15 years ago, she would be safe and okay right now. It wasn’t fair that she was paying for his mistakes.
The tears rolled down his face and hit the dusty cell floor below him. His entire body was shaking, and all he wanted to do was scream and cry and curl up in a ball until everything was okay.
He couldn’t help her. He couldn’t do anything. He had been useless all his life, and the only good thing he had ever done was help her see the world outside that god awful tower, and even then she did most of that on her own. If anything, he had been a hindrance to her.
He furiously tried to rub his eyes to stop the tears that wouldn’t stop coming. Why couldn’t he have been better? Why didn’t he do more to stop the Stabbingtons?
One question had been running through his mind all night, and he had been chastising himself over and over. Why didn’t he kiss her when he got the chance?
That was the least of his worries, but the question was still haunting him. He would likely never get the chance again, and he had the opportunity to right there. It was the most simple mistake he made, and it might not have made a difference, but now he just has to live with the fact that he could have and he didn’t.
He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the door to his cell open. He turned to see the Captain standing in the doorway. “Let’s get this over with, Rider.”
“Where are we going?” he asked, though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer. The Captain’s silence confirmed his suspicions. “Oh.”
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fanmoose12 · 3 years
Note
I am not over it. I am SO not over IT. I read the SNK manga YEARS ago when it was only chapter 100 and one day I had the dumb idea to continue that shit. I am not PLEASED and Hanji's death UTTERLY WRECKED ME, someone who wasn't even a Hanji Stan!! reading the manga made me fall in love with her quiet determination, leadership skills, and sense of duty when before I was more of an Armin type of girl? She just. won me over. and her death was NOT OKAY. I CRIED while saying no no nO NOOO OH MY GOD -
and it TORE ME APART and she was the only person in my mind ever since and I couldn't read the manga in the same nonchalant way ever again. i'm sorry i promise im getting somewhere! it legit ruined my moods and made me so sad all the time IT WAS THAT BAD and i started hating eren with absolute passion. Idek where to start? How her death was pointless & nobody gave a fuck?? and Levi thought of FRICKING ERWIN instead of Hans & I wasnt even a Levihan shipper it doesnt make SENSE! He just LOST HANS
-- and all he can think about is FUCKING ERWIN. come on MAN, and she parented the 104th even REINER had more emotions than these mfers. Everyone is alive EXCEPT HER, like onyakapon and even yelena, minor characters, it just feels so UNFAIR, i'm not mad abt death, i breathe angst like it was chocolate it was just so pointless and meaningless and no one even grieves, especially Levi who was closest to her. there was just no room for her in the plot anymore and thats what makes me pissed -
- not bc it was her time, but bc she ran out of uses to the plot and like in GOT where the character is smarter than the author. not only that, she was made so powerless and pathetic and she felt so useless and she died like that. where's the justice? the character arc? right she was there Just to Save Levi :// it's like that quote from gone girl - "the world will know that [man] threw his beloved wife like garbage, and she floated past down all the other abused, unwanted, INCONVENIENT, women"
(sorry for the fem pronouns, i'm all abt anime hange here). and its not like she wasnt a fan favorite, she's top 3 of the last character poll. just bc shes not levi and eren and armin. and cmon. yams had to nerf and minus 100 out of her iq for the INSANE plan of fucking zeke and the yeagerists, can you BELIEVE she trusted and was OUTSMARTED by ZEKE, who legit massacred the survey corps, even though SHE HAD THE SAME LEVEL OF IQ?? but noooo, plot reasons!! shes not eRwIn, what you expect 🙃
im upset, not bc my fav character died but bc it was meaningless (if falco can fly, why tf didnt he do that in the first place) and hollow in logic and in emotion. maybe snk's lesson to us is life is unfair and we should suck it up. it wasn't well earned & yams wrote hanji in a corner, like (again) in GOT where no matter what daenerys chose she was wrong. sorry i dumped all this to you!! if you're still here, thank you for listening to my month long pent up emotions, im still really sad about it
- and idk how to let go? but your writings have definitely made me feel better, it just comforts me like Levi to a bottle of bleach. thank you for still writing!!! about an anime girl in a fictional world and still delivering more emotion than the original author. my heart definitely feels better these days, though it still aches bc she deserves so much better & didnt deserve whatever the fuck she was given, thank you for championing hanji zoe rights! im 99% sure she wont be revived -
but she lives on in your writings and other fanfiction authors and artworks and i'm just so grateful we have a community like this, honestly im just glad you're here :) keep doing what you do and i hope you're safe and warm & healthy!! also to every hanji stans out there one fucking day when we love a character the author wont rip our hearts and throw it to the garbage, im so so sorry for my long long ask but if i could request maybe eren apologizing to hanji inpaths or when she got captured or
or when she died or you choose!! i saw this art by @siroyuki 2015 in twitter where he's hugging her and shit, you should check it out it gave me feels!! i just want her to be loved and appreciated :((( again thank you so much if you made it this far! im sorry if you're annoyed or smthn HHAHAHA i promise this is the last! thank you for your service to humanity we stan 💪😩👌💕💞 
ah don’t you let canon frustrate you, it doesn’t matter anyway :D like you saud, we still have fics and fanarts
however, yeah, i do kinda feel you :/ like the way yams keeps glossing over hange's death is actually a bit weird? like i know they're at war and i know that they have no time for grieving etc but the kids were literally bawling their eyes when hange died but no mention of her sacrifice at all after that? like in 136, gabi said that they should stop the rumbling to repay azumabito's kindness and that's ummmmmmm.... a little bit weird. sure, gabi is a little girl with no connection to hange but reiner, jean and connie were there, when gabi said that and they saw hange’s sacrifice, so why not say something like “yeah, we can’t let commander hange’s sacrifice go to waste?” like come on. what did azumabito do? let falco transform on the board of her ship, so now she travels on a boat? i don't think that can compare to hange's acts though. she literally brought these mfs who were ready to jump at each other's throat together and then she sacrificed her own life to give them yet another chance at success. a sacrifice that was proved to be utterly meaningless in the very next chapter? why did falco learn about his ability to fly only after hange died? why didn't he discover it upon first transformation? :/
oh, and speaking of hange's character arc? like i get it, she was depressed, she struggled with her role as a commander (even though she did everything she could and she did a damn good job at it). and i guess that this plotline was kinda resolved when she heard that erwin approved of her actions? and that's cool, if what we've seen was actually an afterlife and not hange's hallucination. because if it was indeed a product of her mind then that's, um, kinda depressing bro. hange was so desperate for someone's approval that she dreamed about it while literally dying. i just don't understand why yams didn't include a scene where kids tell her how much they respect her and what an honor it was to serve under her command or SOMETHING. but as it is, hange died, thinking she was weak and useless and, um, yeah, certainly not the end you want for your favorite character :)
so yeah, hange's death was kinda meaningless and pointless - it didn't serve the plot whatsoever + it could have been very easily avoided 
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safebubblebycyg · 4 years
Text
trans! sirius and nonbinary! regulus because screw jkr:
☆ they definitely both have pins with their pronouns on them
☆ regulus didnt come out to their parents but sirius did
☆ "i mean, they already hate me, im not all too worried"
☆ reg helped sirius pick his name
☆ sirius tells people he's named after a star because he is one
☆ regulus constantly has to deal with professors telling them that they/them is plural and that its incorrect
☆ regulus often threatens people who deadname sirius
☆ sirius does the same, except...its not really threats...more actions.....
☆ "DID YOU JUST CALL MY LITTLE SIBLING A BOY? MY PRECIOUS NONBINARY SIBLING? JAMES, HELP ME HEX A LAD REAL QUICK"
☆ sirius has had his fair share of detentions for that reason
☆ regulus has hexed a couple kids, but doesnt really get caught
☆ james calls regulus "baby black" instead of his previous "baby bro black" after regulus came out
☆ james being an absolute simp for reg
☆ "good godric, if anymore drool comes out of your mouth while staring at reg, youll have an entire ocean on your desk"
☆ james asked them out in his 6th year
☆ sirius lost a fat bet to remus, banking on regulus working up the guts to fess up to james first
☆ regulus couldnt figure out for the life of them why sirius wasnt talking to them or remus, but would gladly talk to james
☆ sirius did help regulus win a bet though
☆ you see...the black's are all bottom bitch babies™
☆ so regulus bet james 20 galleons (yEs 20 whole galleons), that remus would ask out sirius first
☆ because the two were madly in love with each other, despite the things that made them a little different
☆ and you bet your biscuits that remus asked first
☆ james was so pissed, he didnt talk to sirius for a month and refused to kiss regulus for that same month
☆ sirius ran away after fifth year, leaving baby reg at home, which he hated
☆ "dear sirius, YOU ABSOLUTE BITCH, COME BACK, IF I HEAR THE WORD HE USED FOR ME ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO ASK KREACHER TO BRING ME POISON"
☆ in regulus' fifth year (sirius' seventh), they spent every holiday, even the summer!, with the potters
☆ they could have cried
☆ "JAMES CAN WE GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW SO YOUR MOM CAN BE MY MOM AND CALL ME BY MY PRONOUNS ALL THE TIME AND I NEVER HAVE TO LEAVE"
☆ at one point, sirius asked regulus to actually not go home
☆ "you're so much happier here, please reg"
☆ regulus denied, knowing their parents would go bonkers
☆ BUT BOY, WAS THAT CHRISTMAS A BLAST
☆ regulus and sirius had both accidentally gotten each other the same gift, a sweater that said "gender? we dont know her"
☆ james almost peed himself when the two opened their gifts at the same time
☆ remus had to resist the urge to make them take a picture together
☆ james gave sirius a binder and he cried, and he gave regulus a locket that said "i am valid", they cried too
☆ remus gave sirius a leather jacket that had the words "trans and you can catch these hands painted on the back" to which sirius let out a high pitched squeal, and then gave regulus a pair of vans that was in the same colours of the nonbinary flag, reg started crying when they put them on
☆ james' parents got the four boys pride flags: james got a pan flag, sirius got a trans flag, regulus got a nonbinary flag, and remus got a bi flag
☆ NONE OF THEM CAN DENY THE TEARS ON THIS ONE
☆ and regulus and sirius were just some happy kids with boyfriends can you really be mad?
☆ oh, and professor mcgonagall was their #1 supporter, she gifted the brothers each with a custom 'coupon'; sirius had a get out of detention free card and regulus got a get out of being late to class because i was 'busy' free card
SORRY IF THIS WAS CHAOTIC BUT LIKE- I HAVENT SLEPT AND I THOUGHT IT WAS KINDA CUTE, OKAY THATS ALL BYE
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carolbivers · 4 years
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"I'm so fucking happy you're okay meuf!!" Jo says as she arrives with Max and Sekou at the hippodrome. She jumps up and hugs Lola, clinging on to her for way to long. For the past hour it was just lola, Elliot and the gang there, preparing everything for the movie showing, but now other people had started to show up, including the girl gang, some of elliot's college friends (Elliot actually had friends! Lola never doubted it. How could he not?) and, of course, lamif.
Lola was very happy to see the three of them and she couldn't stop smiling. After Jo finally let go she spotted Elliot and jumped on to him as well, as Max smiled at Lola shyly and gave her a warm hug. "It's so good to see you", he said. "I really hope you're doing better". Lola smiled and they let go and she gave him a smile as it was Sekou's turn for a hug. Jo let go of Elliot and started blabbing about him and his movie and that Friday and how excited she was to work with him, without noticing behind her that Arthur, Basile and Yann were staring at this weird girl that was obviously obsessed with Elliot, while Lucas was standing next to them laughing and exchanging looks with Elliot, who was laughing too.
"What the fuck is happening, man?" Yann asked Lucas and the other too looked at him, waiting for an answer.
"Elliot has a fan!" Lucas said happily. "She's a friend of Lola's. I think they met threw the urbex thing".
"Oh, that's right!" Bas said. "Daphne told me something about that too! So she's a friend of Maya as well?"
"Wait.. Who is Maya? What is the urbex thing?" Asked a very confused Arthur. "Gosh, I feel like I've missed everything because of the fucking bac!"
They laughed. "It's okay man! It's all over now and we get to chill." said Yann and put an arm around Lucas and Arthur that were sitting next to him on each side.
"Exactly! And now, that you're gonna be an amazing and brilliant graphic designer, everything will be amazing and we'll never miss a thing again!" Baz said and hugged Arthur.
Elliot walked towards the gang with Jo still babbling walking behind him and Max, Sekou and Lola, laughing while following them.
"So!" said Elliot, excited. "Max, Sekou, Jo, this is Yann, Arthur, Baz, and Lucas, my boyfriend. Guys, these are the kids that helped me with the filming-"
Elliot wasnt able to finish his sentence as Jo's screaming interrupted him.
"LUCAS!!" she screamed and jumped on him, hugging him very tight. "You have no idea how much I've heard about you!! You're, like, a legend! I was really jealous of you in the beginning, but after Elliott's stories I love you!" she said and continued talking while the rest of them laughed. Baz got up and looked at Sekou and Max, with his weird fake strict look.
" So, mecs! You are friends of Lola, right?" he said, as the other two nodded. "Well, you know who I am, right?" he asked, and they shook their heads. "What??" he said, disappointed. "Well, I'm like, Lola's official older brother. I'm dating her sister, you see. Ah, look there", he pointed, " the beautiful one with the long, blonde hair. So, if you ever mess with Lola.." he looked at them seriously, "I probably can't take you, let's be real, but look at my gang over here, we are ninjas and we'll find you!! Check de gang, mecs!" He said and the gang ignored him. Lola laughed and she though Basil's and Jo would be so much fun as friends. " Thanks, big bro" she said jokingly and Baz looked at her with so much love in his eyes that he immediately needed a hug, even though he waited for Lola to nod a yes. They hugged tightly, and when they let go Basile almost had literal tears in his eyes.
After that, Lola let the gang and la mif mix and walked towards her sister, who was chatting with her friends.
"Salut!" Lola said. "How are you girls?"
"oh, meuf, we were just talking about how Manon and Charles broke up!" Emma said.
"Emma! You can't tell this to everyone! It literally just happened!" Alexia said.
"it's okay, it's okay!" Manon interrupted. "It was a long time coming. Like, a long,long time. I tried to ignore all the shitty things that he said or did, because I was so in love with him. But in the end, it wasn't worth it. The love faded away and his true colours were just more and more obvious. And I completely lost sight of who I am all this time. He literally stands for everything I hate. I thought that I was in the wrong for so long, that I had my standards too high, but I just couldn't do it anymore. So I'm actually really relieved, and really happy". She smiled.
"that's great, Manon." Emma said. "I mean, sad, but great. You should just be happy.
"Yeah! And if he doesn't make you happy, then fuck him! I never liked him anyway", Imane said.
"Anyway, can we talk about you trip to Morocco?' said Manon to Imane. "Are you excited?"
"So excited! I can't wait" Imane said and smiled at Sofianne who was looking at her from a few meters away.
"Can we also talk about Alexia?" Daphne said. "Our brilliant, multi talented girl! Lola, did you know she is taking a gap year, travelling the world, because the girl is too good at too many things to decide right now what she wants to do?"
Alexia smiled and blushed a little. "Oh, stop it!"
"No, girl, that's really cool!" Lola said. "Are you traveling alone?"
"Yeah, mostly. I just really need to see other cultures and places, meet new people, you know? Get inspired. Emma, who is also kinda lost, though in a different way, is gonna come to a couple of places with me, and these other ones are gonna visit some times, and Arthur will probably come to a place or to at some point. He also wants to travel."
"oh, Arthur? Didn't you guys use to date?" Lola asked.
Alexia smiled. "Yes, and it ended in a disaster. Honestly, I'll always love him, you know? Even if it is just as a friend. But who knows? Maybe everyone deserves a second chance. But also, how cool would it be if I got myself an international girlfriend?" The girls laughed and Daphne pulled Lola aside to talk.
"How are you doing today?" she asked Lola.
"Better", she replied. "Taking it slow, you know? I actually cannot wait to meet my new therapist, which is weird for me. But I think I'm ready. Ready to talk. Ready to take all the help I can get."
Daphne smiled. "I'm really proud of you, Lola."
"that's bullshit. You have nothing to be proud. All I have done so far is create problems. With you, with Maya, with Lucas, with Elliot.. I literally run away, like, a few days ago".
"Yeah, but did you see anyone mad at you? Nobody is mad at you, Lola. Sure, you have done some things that weren't great. But youve apologised and we understand. It's okay. We're all here for you. You know I'm not perfect either. But as long as you're staying strong, I'll stay strong."
"You are the strongest person I've ever met".
"I'm not that strong. But having you helps a lot. And I also wanted to tell you something else. I finally went to the therapist."
"That's great! That's amazing! Daphne, I'm so happy for you."
"thanks. It was hard, I'm not going to lie. But I had to. I've been avoiding this for way too long. And just having Basile cook for me is not enough", she said and laughed. Lola looked at her lovingly and she hugged her tight. "I love you", she whispered.
"I love you too, Lola" Daphne whispered back.
That's when Daphne spotted Maya coming through in crowd and let go of Lola. Lola followed Daphne's eyes and she saw Maya. Her heart started beating a little faster and her face was covered in a smile she couldn't hide.
"Go to her", said Daphne.
Lola smiled at her sister and walked towards her girlfriend.
"Salut!" said Maya, smiling.
"Thanks for coming", said Lola, and she wrapped her hands behind Maya's neck, kissing her.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world!" Maya said smiling, after they let go. "Your cinematic debut! You're gonna be a huge star one day!"
Lola laughed and kept looking at her.
"Listen, Maya. I know we didn't get to talk that much the other day because you were working, but I just want you to know that I don't want you to ever be with me because you feel sorry for me or whatever. And also I just want you to know that I know that I've hurt you, and I'm really, really sorry for everything. But I'm trying, and I'm gonna try even harder to be better, to do better. But I'm not always going to be perfect. There's probably gonna be times that I slip up, and that I fuck up, and I'm gonna be shit again and I could hurt you again. It's never my intention to do so, but I don't know if I can always control it. So I want to apologise in advance, and I just want to say that, if you can't stay with me during the bad times, it's totally understandable! But maybe we shouldn't do this at all, then".
Maya looked lovingly at Lola, the girl she had a crush on the fucking day she first met her. She smiled.
"You know, mon amour, I know some things about these stuff. I understand. And even if I don't understand everything, I would love for you to explain things for me, only if you want. And I've fucked up too, I shouldn't have ghosted you, I shouldn't have been with Char and I shouldn't have left that day you broke up with me since you clearly weren't okay. And I'm not with you because I feel sorry for you! I'm with you because I'm in love with you. Fuck, I'm crazy for you. I fell in love with you the second I saw you walking down those stairs that day we met, and I just kept falling more and more ever since. And I promise, I'm not gonna leave you when things go wrong. I swear. No matter how bad they get. Unless you,like, cheat on me or something". She laughed.
Lola laughed too. "You don't have to worry about that. I could never even look at anybody else when I'm with you".
They both smiled at each other.
"So we're good?"asked Maya.
"Yes. We're good" Lola said and Maya hugged her.
Elliot and Lucas where looking at the girls from a distance, smiling. Elliot was feeling so unbelievably proud.
"Did you do this? Did you get them back together?" Lucas asked.
"No! No no no" Elliot answered. "Okay, maybe I helped a little" he continued, smiling happily.
Lucas smiled and stepped on his tiptoes to wrap his arms around Elliots neck and kiss him on the cheek.
"You know, I'm really proud of you", he said.
Elliot blushed. "Oh, come on! What did I do?'
"Are you serious? You wrote a movie, you filmed it, you directed it, you star in it, you have your first ever official showing tonight! As if that's not enought for me to be proud of?"
"Okay, I guess that's true", he answered smiling. Then his smile got smaller. "But I disappointed you last week".
Lucas stopped smiling as well. "I'm not disappointed, my love. You could never disappoint me. I knew from the beginning that things like that could happen. And you didn't do anything that bad! I'm not disappointed in you. I'm not mad at you. I was just, really, really worried. And scared. But it turned out that you were okay, so I'm okay. Do I wish you wouldn't have gotten drunk? Of course. Do I wish you hadn't attack that security guy? Of course. Do I wish you would have called me before everything happened so I would at least have known about it? Also of course. But it happened. I was just mad at Lola, but I'm not anymore. She apologized and she knows she shouldn't have treated you that way. And she was in a really bad place. But she also can't be held responsible for your actions, only for hers. And you are the one that should or should not be mad at her."
Elliot sighed. "Well, I'm still sorry, Lucas. I hate worrying you, especially in the middle of your bac. And it's not all her fault. I was just insecure and she stepped on those insecurities. It just... sucks to be different sometimes, you know? It sucks to feel like people expect me to fuck up, all the time. It sucks to feel like I'm nothing more than my mental illness, you know?"
Lucas took his hand. "You know that I don't see you that way, right? You are not your mental illness to me, Elliot."
"I know, and I'm sorry that I doubted you in that moment. I'm really lucky that I have you in my life" he said and Lucas smiled and kissed him.
"I'm also and yet again really sorry that I didn't tell you about urbex earlier" Elliot mumbled after the kiss.
Lucas laughed. "Okay, I was mad about that. But Im over it know. Just, don't lie to me again, like, ever. Okay?"
"I promise", Elliot replied, and they kissed again.
Everyone was dancing and talking and laughing and Elliot was so happy when he saw Idriss and his friends walk in. They hugged and laughed and chatted. Everyone greeted them and Imane and Lucas found themselves alone together.
"So, is everything well?" Imane asked.
Lucas sighed. "Yes, now, everything is fine. Finally. Chill. No bac, no more angsty best friends losing their hearing and cheating on their girlfriends, no more boyfriend getting drunk with a 16 year old. Hopefully they learned their lesson and will both get better."
Imane smiled. Lucas turned to her.
"What about you, miss future-doctor? Going to fucking Morocco with your habibi, then what? You'll start med school, you'll get married? How is everything going for you?"
Imane laughed. "Well, I can't complain. The bac was very difficult, let's be real. But now I'm really excited", she said, while staring at Sofianne who was chatting with Idriss and Elliot.
Lucas looked at them too. Then he looked at imane. "Who would have thought, right? The gay guy and the Muslim girl, best friends, while dating a non Muslim guy and his best friend".
"We are not best friends!" Imane answered while laughing.
"Fuck that! You are definitely my number one girl best friend" Lucas said.
"Okay, okay. If it's like that, then you're my number one boy best friend too."
They smiled at each other and they heard Elliot yelling "Okay, everyone! Movie is starting! Take a seat!"
Everyone sat in front of the screen. Daphne next to basile, holding hands. Next to them was Sofianne with Imane, then Yann next to his girl best friend, Emma, then Alexia and Arthur, and then Mika and Camille who had also showed up for the film, next to them Noee with her new girlfriend. They were both friends with Arthur and Alexia. Lucas and Elliot where sitting next to the projector, Elliot being extremely nervous but Lucas holding his hand, trying to calm him down. The la mif guys were really excited to see what they had created, but they were also really excited to see Lola and Maya together for the first time. They were teasing them lovingly and they were all grinning. Lola had now rested her head on Maya's shoulder, while Maya was excited to watch her girlfriend in the big screen.
All of the grew were kind of sad and melancholic, thinking about this being one of the last times they'd all be together. But they were all really excited about the future and the new adventures it held for them.
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vyvesvi · 3 years
Text
updated top albums list + recommended tracks from each bc im bored lol
*tentatively* in order
unnatural - wjsn | recommended songs: all of them (especially unnatural, supermoon, and yalla) except for rewind | skips: just rewind bc ballad /// im not sure what style to call this album but they really made such a smash, its crazy that it came out so early in the year and no gg is touching it (album wise). literally the only complaints i have are the obligatory ballad (that they always do bc they can all sing lmfao), the album cover/title (dont love the cover design and i dont love when the album name is the tt name, except in certain circumstances (a full album (especially where the title isnt necessarily from the title track) like montero) or when it's a single album (the inverse of this being rsq's prequel which couldve just been called colorfull since that was the only damn song 😐)). i also was disappointed with the outfits for last dance but that's peripheral.
timeabout, - yukika | recommended songs: insomnia & secret | skips: none /// okay to keep it very real im genuinely scared that she'll never surpass soul lady. i love, and i mean LOVE timeabout, but soul lady was on another plane of existence. like she could've held that album a little bit
the other side of the moon - gwsn | recommended songs: like it hot, starry night, i cant breathe | skips: i sing, depending on my mood /// i dont have much commentary tbh,this is just a very solid mini idk. id like to see a fusion of i cant breathe/tweaks/after the bloom/burn, maybe on their next mini. i love their brighter stuff but maybe a darker concept next (halloween cb pls pls pls)
montero - lil nas x | lowkey too soon for me to pick recommended songs but i'll say montero, scoop, lost in the citadel, sun goes down, and am i dreaming for now. will update! | skips: none /// i cant say that this is this year's sawayama bc sawayama was kinda more like a collection of really strong singles? whereas i feel like these songs shine as an album. i dont even know what to say except that im soooo surprised and impressed because i didnt know that this is the type of music he made???? like he raps but theres a lot of singing? not like belting but definitely not rapping. its kinda...alt ish? in some places? if i had to use ine genre to describe the whole album id probably say alt pop? idk but whatever it is it's definitely working
hide & seek - purple kiss | recommended songs: zombie & so why (tbh all of them) | 2am and zzzz depend on my mood but theyre def not full skips /// no bad song on the album this is crazy....i might rerank since i just listened to it for the first time but as of now idk, its good im just super impressed. ponzona wasnt for me but this cb theyre really doing all the things, lovr tht for them
produced by: [myself] - onlyoneof | recommended songs: coy & night flight | question mark depends on my mood /// im still mad at them (read: 8d) sooooo...idk. i can’t really listen to their music rn. but this mini is still good
play game: holiday - weeekly | recommended songs: check it out, weekend, holiday party | i like memories of summer rain and la luna but it depends on my mood /// very cohesive mini, def their best overall imo! not much to say, but i hope jiyoon gets well soon TTTT
enchant - orbit | recommended songs: gokurakuchouka & never gonna get away but also all of them except flor lunar | skips: flor lunar is nice but boring /// i need kpoppies to get into it im tired of being here alone cmon y’all
set - woodz | recommended songs: feel like | skips: none /// i prefer his bright tracks but this mini was solid as usual. where is the full album tho seungyoun hmmm????
guess who - itzy | recommended songs: sorry not sorry, tennis (0:0), kidding me | skips: in the morning, occasionally wild wild west /// i remember being very surprised that i liked this album, especially given that i dont like mitm. not anything groundbreaking but still solid. i think the naming of tennis (0:0) was really clever
intersection: trace - bae173 | recommended songs: green light, loved you | skips: none (sometimes the intro tho) /// honestly their music is really good??? mbk just hasn’t promoted them well, i feel like they make it a little hard to stan...i really appreciate that they’re not doing the stereotypical hard bg concept thing
lilac - iu | recommended songs: coin, flu, ah puh, troll | skips: honestly id have to relisten, some of the songs a lil boring but idr them at the moment
hello future - nct dream | recommended songs: hello future, life is still going on | skips: idr tbh, probably hot sauce though //// was very surprised that i liked this album, but the outro of hello future really got me after a few listens so i had to check it out. very decent!
killa - mirae | recommended songs: killa, sweet dreams, 1 thing | skips: none really but all of the bsides are a little mid tbh /// i will be 1000% honest in saying that the three reasons this allbum made this list are 1.) killa (the tt), 2.) none of the songs are bad, 3.) lien’s vocals. something about lien....he really just sells whatever song he’s on. his belting >>>>>>>>>>>. he makes their music very enjoyable to listen to, next in that department would be junhyuk. based on their most recent cb, siyoung and khael also contribute a lot as well. shame that the rest of the cb album kinda does nothing for me idk. random but i would really like a gg to cover higher and/or killa
& - loona | recommended songs: ur, ptt | skips: a different night, dance on my own /// these r my girls but this is not their best. ur is wonderful though, and ptt is addicting somehow. wow and be honest are fine but really not their best. i like wow’s choreo tho! 
albums im excited to listen to (no particular order):
last year was weird volume 3, tkay maidza (i’ve already listened to a bunch of it but i need to sit and just listen to the whole thing)
troubled paradise, slayyter (same as above, but i didn’t even realize it came out this year, i thought it was old for some reason lol)
jo1, challenger (every song of theirs i hear i like pretty much so i need to take an organized look at them lmfao)
jo1, stranger (same as above)
only lovers left, woodz (duhhh its woodz. not out yet but im excited! i do prefer his brighter concepts and this def isn’t that. he says its not gonna be like what he’s done before but the title and concept photo that’s out rn is giving lift up)
the book of us: negentropy - chaos swallowed up in love, day6 (the title kinda bored me but we’ll see. also sungjin’s gone so.....................we’ll see.)
ancient dreams in a modern land, marina (i barely got past venus fly trap because its soooooo good. i’ve listened to a little after that but the songs i heard didn’t really compare. i have to give it a shot tho)
the chaos chapter: fight or escape, txt (i liked the blue hour mini so i need to give them a chance i suppose)
333, tinashe (i just feel like i should idk)
honorable mentions (no particular order):
blue hour, txt - discovered this year, came out last year. retroactively makes the 2020 albums list bc whew the market research that went into that thing paid off
hula hoop/ starseed ~kakusei~, loona (why tf does the album not have a name) - duhhh loona + synths = a smash. in fact like i said when it dropped i dont even wanna call them loona anymore. this is kongetsu no shoujo!!! this isn’t on my top albums list because im counting as two songs and my limit is 3. i might add it anyways lmfao. we’ll see
ugly beauty, jolin tsai - discovered this year, came out in 2018. i just really like jolin tsai idk. i had only heard that album w play and i’m not yours, both are iconic but the production quality sounds...low? like its older but ik they’re not *that* old. either way, ugly beauty does everything i wanted it to - dramatic, vocals, rapping, boa vibes...jolin tsai is a queen what can i say
also, there are of course a ton of singles that i love as well, this is albums only though lmfao. i have no idea if i could even attempt to organize the singles lol
4 notes · View notes
savnofilter · 4 years
Note
I think you're hilarious in such a good way and Im new to Tumblr. Your work is amzing and i was wondering if you have any bnha blog recommendations or must read fics?
WARNING! this gets long as SHIT. so im sorry. im on mobile so liek,, also there are shit ton of amazing writers on here but my memory has been terrible as of recently, so sorry about that. all the people mentioned have really good fics so going through their masterlist is the bes option i have on here for you!! also sorry this was so late, i did a lot of username checking and now finally got the balls to post this with their @s cnuidwneovn- also!! be mindful because i was iffy in tagging some because i wasnt too sure if they wrote for bnha anymore. so w/o further adieu!!!now for my fave ao3 fics (with no ranking)~
His Tryanny by goodboysensei (tumblr; @tobobio)
au: fantasy
summary: “Deep in a land just like in the fairy tales, lives 4 different kingdoms. But when a hot headed king of one kingdom wants to take over, he seeks for more power. A girl locked away in a tower for her entire life because of her forbidden power, finds a new life when an ash blonde male comes flying through her window. How will their life play out?”
my thoughts: FUCKINGT AMAZING BOOK LIKE I FUCKING STAN. TT its so fucking good! the angst, the tension, angry bloody bakugo?! fucking check! amazing book!! 12/10 will always recommend. mc will say “million reasons” i be like “his tyranny tho, 👀” (and other books but we have to appreciate my highness rq).
completed: yis!
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My Angel by goodboysensei (tumblr; @tobobio)
au: greek mythology
summary: “The infamous fallen angel, serving under Hades (AFO), Bakugou Katsuki, was known for constantly wreaking havoc within heaven. Defying against God and other deities, he was blacklisted from Heaven. (l/n) (y/n) being an elite archangel under Athena (Miruko), is set on a mission to rid of Bakugou Katsuki but takes a 180 when you sudden began developing feelings for the crooked angel during the confrontation – him reciprocating the feelings. Though relationships between a worker of God and a demon was the greatest sin, and faced consequences to those who are caught. ~ Having to sneak around and hide your relationship with the fallen angel how would an archangel keep her status under God while simultaneously keeping an accursed romantic affair.(sorry i suck at summaries lmao)”
my thoughts: you know, i just have a craving to live a life in greekish-mythologyish and reading lore of olympus makes it partly redeemed. but this takes the cake. LIKE?! oh my fucking god! absoluetely love and im still reading it cause im slow asf but its so good so far! and she doesnt at all, the summaries are what got me interested!!
completed: neh~
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I’m Broken Too (Shigaraki x Reader x Dabi) by Kikyo851 (quotev; kikyo851/tumblr; @heroes-among-us-all)
au: canon
summary: “What’s a girl to do when she can’t quite make it as a hero? Become a villain, of course.”
my thoughts: okay so youre thinking, “that summary is short asf” but godtdamn the book is motherfucking good dawg. lieke,,, this absolutely fueled my villain spark way back whenever. (you can gladly thank this book and all the dabi fics from @lord-explosion-baku, who also has a book called “thorns” which is also on ao3. i havent read it because im not into that au but it has many good reviews!!)
completed: neh~
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Million Reasons by Chub_Rye (other socials; not listed)
au: future canon (?)
summary: “This is not a happy story, you really wished it was but how can it be when your marriage is falling apart. You truly love your husband, the thing is…he doesn’t seem to feel the same anymore ((Trigger warning: this is a very emotional heavy story, you have been warned.)) Inspiration: Million Reasons by Lady Gaga”
my thoughts: 
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*if i had the time i would edit to: “im fucking sobbing fam”* because this shit hurtedt. like, HURTEDT. this book, this very book is the reason why fucking katsuki fucking bakugo slapped down the damn rankings on my list. didnt fucking like him for like two weeks, just thinking about him made me mad as FUCK. but its written so good i cant be mad?! i… okay moving on before i start crying and listing reasons why katsuki needs to CHOKE in this damn book. also if you dislike deku then this story will change. you.
completed: neh~
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Muted by HecateSG (other socials; not listed)
au: canon
summary: “A collection of short one-shot stories where the reader has lost the ability to speak due to an incident that ranges from accident, to intentional, which now leaves you in the care of at least one of this dashing and intrepid cast of characters. There will be a variety of scenario’s explored and kinks touched upon for all you curious depraved little ones. ~ The only thing these all have in common is that the Reader will remain almost exclusively quiet the entire time ~ The tags will be updated as more chapters are released.”
my thoughts: this is a one-shot book (no cohesive storyline unless chosen) but its so good. so good. i thought shigaraki, dabi and all might in one book was interesting but never the less, super good! i never was interested in the mute concept but its written good? (but thinking about it all the other mute!reader fics are good but they wont nsfw so it didnt interest me-) furthermore, its so good. so pure. so hot. 11/10 would recommend.
completed: neh~
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Nightclub AU by sour_pink29 (tumblr; @heros-amoung-us)
au: well… nightclub
summary: “U.A. is the most prestigious and well known nightclub in the world. It takes a high price and a creditable reputation to attend the club, but only because it makes your wildest dreams and fantasies come true. The workers are the best of the best: the 1A class; with the sexiest dancers, flirtatious waitresses and waiters, master bartenders, and high class security. It’s truly no wonder why the rich and famous travel from all corners of the world to have one special night at U.A. ~ As a waitress at the club, you were used to dealing with rich, handsome, high maintenance bachelors. But when 6 mysterious men enter the club and your life, you feel something different spark between you and them as they turn your life on it’s head. For better or for worse… ~ AU where you and the 1A class (and some other characters) are workers at the club. Kaminari, Kirishima, Katsuki, Shoto, Tetsu, Izuku, and Sero are all competing for your attention. ~ WILL INCLUDE NSFW IN SOME CHAPTERS ;)”
my thoughts: THGIS BOOK FUCKIN SLAPS. HANDS DOWN WOULD TOOT MY ASS UP FOR THIS! (thought about dropping my studies and just fucking doing stripper work-) like wow… its a good book and the writer was prob one of the first wirters i followed on here?! (thats if tumblr didnt fucking remove my damn following like it usually does. ._.) enough about that, its really good. i think about it often.
completed: neh~
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Plus Ultra! One-shots and Requests by MistressPikachu (FinalVolition) [tumblr; @adelheidvonschicksal]
au: varies
summary: “A place to store all my smaller drabbles for BNHA. NSFW and SFW requests CLOSED!”
my thoughts: um so she write for *everything* but not like everything, everything. so sometimes it be like a red flag so make sure you are reading it carefully on the story you click on! personally, since theyre a good asf writer i usually dip my toe in all of them but sometimes i just cant but the ones i can, i read over and over and over again. worth a million reads tbh. 12/10 would recommend if youre nasty like that (and i KNOW you guys are).
completed: neh~
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slutty one shots by cherrykwrites (tumblr; @cherrykwrites)
au: varies
summary: “Collection of some slutty short scenarios. Mostly Bakugo, could include other characters too. ~ Everything will be NSFW in this collection. ~ Themes like non con, underage, alcohol, bdsm, daddy kinks, ect could occur in these writings. ~ These are purely works of fiction and do not reflect reality, I do NOT condone any of the immoral actions written in these.”
my thoughts: so of course i could not leave the og, the real home slice, cherry-mother-k-fuckin-writes- CAN WE CLAP FOR THE QUEEN? so essentially, her shit is good asf. you should read it cause its good asf. shes not around that much but she def is really good! (also has my thinking about writing some tattoo artist!bakugo these days, or even a series for my husbandos…). never thought about sandwhiched between kirishima and bakugo until i came across her fics~
completed: neh~
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Euphoria - NSFW Series by NekokoaFanfiction (tumblr; @nekokoafanfictions)
au: varies
summary: “Just a bunch of BNHA characters involved in several different kinks with you. ~ Summary of first chapter: ~ “Katsuki…”That mewl you made was hard to hear but somehow it reached Midoriya’s ears and he gulped as he saw said man standing up from the ground in front of you. A smirk as wide as it can be with his tongue brushing the corners of his mouth as if he just finished eating the best meal of his life.————————- Basically, Midoriya is in for a emotional ride lol”
my thoughts: they are such a good writer. another one-shots book but they will appear once again on the list but this book is just beautiful. and im a perv. so. have fun.
comepleted: neh~
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⚠️okay so this is a series of fics from one writer, but instead of making a shit ton on the list (because if this isnt long already) its by the user QuillMind (tumblr; @quillmind) here are some of my faves:⚠️
Incendiary ~ a/b/o, “Mating season has come yet again. Bakugou has even more trouble controlling it than in previous years… and it’s all your fault.”
Mating Hunt ~ a/b/o, “You and Bakugou have been together for some time. Though you both know you only want each other, your bond won’t truly be permanent and known to all until he claims you during mating season. And as impatient as Bakugou is, as an Alpha, he loves a good chase. You decide to give him one.”
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Story Time - A Reader x BNHA Multific by WhenSarahSmiles (tumblr; @makethiscanon)
au: fairytale/storybook/canon-ish
summary: “Whilst fighting a powerful villain, you find yourself sucked into the world their quirk created with no memories of your old life. Yet, the men you meet along the way have a familiar feel to them. Perhaps they can help you unlock your memories? ~ A Hero Academia/Fairy Tale mash up, there’s plenty of chaos to follow even if you think you know the classic stories well. ~ [Warning: Explicit Content from chapter 3 onwards] ~ [I will warn you which chapter features the non-con]] ~ “
-> Story one: Little Red Riding Hood (Katsuki Bakugou x Reader)-> Story two: The Little Mermaid (Shouto Todoroki x Reader)-> Story three: Jack and the Beanstalk (Eijirou Kirishima x Reader)-> Story four: The Three Little Pigs (Denki Kaminari x Reader)-> Story five: Sleeping Beauty (Shouto Todoroki x Reader x Katsuki Bakugou)-> Story six: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (Midoriya, Tokoyami, Sero, Monoma, Ojiro, Shinsou x Reader)
my thoughts: bitch i have no thoughts. i only have THOTS. this is a masterpiece, like ive been lacking, the one im on rn is the kirishima one and it worth the read, and i bet the ones after that have been just as amazing! amazing work 11/10 would recommend.
completed: neh~
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Wolves Among Us (Mini Series) by NekokoaFanfiction (tumblr; @nekokoafanfictions)
au: fantasy
summary: “Something about watching him lick your chilled skin was stirring something within you. Your legs started to shiver, but not of the cold that surrounded your slightly exposed body but of a feeling blossoming in the inner regions of your lower stomach. You were getting lost in the rhythm of his pants, wandering in the hazy want of his intense eyes. Your breath began to tremble, and you tried to squeeze your legs together to withstand the odd sensation growing, but he held your leg still and showed no signs of letting go. You were suddenly aware of his hand on your lower thigh, and you noticed that it was the first time a man’s hand had touched there. ~ You were a flower that had yet to bloom in the late of spring. Pure, untouched and suddenly, bombarded with desires. You never shivered in the way a man could make you, and curiosity—maybe naivety, was keeping you from your fear of the beast. —————– Basically, you fall in love with a rude wolf man. ~ Mini series!! Werewolf!Bakugo x Human!Reader, Fantasy AU ~ Inspired by The Company of Wolves by Angela Carter”
my thoughts: i ride this books ASS for updates. my favourite bakugo au’s are fantasy (wit da dragoons) and were!katsuki (haluween). i fucking love it, i love their works. theyre busy with school (like i should be but scholars are all different-) trust me its so good. it has that good spice that make fill my heart with sexy uwuwuwuwuwuwuwus. love it.
completed: neh~
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Katsuki Bakugo Scenario Collection by Hvalross (tumblr; @cutesuki–bakugou)
au: varies
summary: “A collection of oneshots and scenarios I’ve done for Bakugou, both personal works and requests on my blog Cutesuki-Bakugou. ~ Please note that the rating of each story will be in the notes of the chapter. Stories range from TEEN to EXPLICIT.”
my thoughts: oh my god. i reread this one chap over and over and over and over and over and over- and over again. the stories range from cute to just good smut and its so good. so beautifully written. and i cant help but just appreciate it. love it sm. (also sorry if i tagged the wrong tumblr im confsued as to which one you use ahaha)
completed: neh~
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Wish the World Away by hoshigalaxy (other socials; not listed)
au: canon
summary: “bakugou katsuki is the number one hero. but with this title comes a huge target on his back. sometimes it’s better to stay single when you’re a pro hero. there could be accidents. ~ but that’s three years in the past now and bakugou is slowly moving on from what’s happened. that is until he runs into his mysterious new neighbour and things get complicated again.”
my thoughts: ;-; this one hits different. almost like a million reasons type of different. i dont want to spoil it but godt damn man. there is so much to be uncovered but it really hasnt been updated. (cri) its a beautiful book tho. fingers crossed for when it updates next.
completed: neh :
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Up in Smoke. (Soulmate AU) by Grapelimeade (tumblr; @gojirabbit)
au: well,, soulmate
summary: “Bakugou doesn’t want a fucking soulmate.”
my thoughts: may i say…it is such a stark contrast to Million Reasons. it is so fucking captivating i will not shit you. this book, is amazing. im just saying, that midoriya scene tho,, 👀 that kirishima friendship,, 💪🏽 its so good…? got me panting for the next chap (and no not like that weirdos but there is nsfw because when tf do you catch me reading a fic without nsfw…?) but i recommend. mc: million reasons tho me: up in smoke tho-
completed: neh~
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Vermilion by Morgana_Ren (tumblr; @morgana-ren)
au: canon
summary: “Tomura Shigaraki had a goal. It started out simple enough. Kill All Might, and watch the society that revered heroes above all else crumble to dust alongside their idol. However, what originally starts off as a chance encounter with a UA student during the battle of USJ sends him reeling down the crooked path of obsession.”
my thoughts: its just…? my shigaraki thirst was sparked from this very story. it good, supplies my shifty hands needs and it suffices the boiling lust in my clit. wish we’d see more cause i love it already and it blends the story line well. love it. 11/10
completed: neh~
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words hurt [Bakugo Katsuki x Reader] by QueenExplosionMurder (tumblr; @strawberryandspiceandchocolate)
au: canon
summary: “*more tags to be added* ~ when Bakugo Katsuki friendzones the reader, their friendship takes a nose dive off of the face of the earth and he doesn’t hear from her for a while. that is until she is suddenly thrown back into his life, quite literally actually…”
my thoughts: well you think i can go a post without tagging my president? youre fucking wrong. i have actually posted my own prev of her book which you can find here. i am just astonished at well the mood is (because tb when all i would talk about is mood) because mood is just good. it doesnt seem cliche to me. cant wait until the next update.
completed: neh~
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You and Yamada by Jo_Rutherford_Lee (other socials; not listed)
au: varies
summary: “Just a few short Present Mic/Reader PWPs I needed to get out of my head.”
my thoughts:
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i love this book. couldnt find the yamada book i was looking for but i would be lying if this doesnt revive my yamada love every once in awhile. (jk i found the book but this one is really cute and a quick read!!)
completed: yis
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Singed Rose Petals: (Alpha) Dabi x (Omega) Reader by Smutsy (other socials; not listed)
au: a/b/o
summary: ““The villains were always ugly in books and movies. Necessarily so, it seemed. Because if they were attractive - if their looks matched their charm and their cunning - they wouldn’t only be dangerous. They would be irresistible.” - Nenia Campbell”
my thoughts: ohhhh because you guys thought that i’d go through a post without mentioning dabi? LOL so,, this book has brought many many many happy coochie tingles to me. i would murder to be dabi’s omega. and DAS on baby. never was really interested in a/b/o stuff till i read this. love it so much 11/10.
completed: yis
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special mentions:
BNHA Brothel by orphan_account [multiple, unfinished]
Hero Killer’s Charge by VulcanCaptain [stain x reader, unfinished]
Mouth Moods by Koalolive (twitter; renlup) [present mic, unfinished]
and god please dont fucking roast me i had a hawks faze. Birb Office for Birbs by insanityrunsinthe_family
453 notes · View notes
tastyykpop · 3 years
Text
𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-ρ† 2
Pairings: enemy, student, barista!jaemin x student, barista!reader, (very small) taemin x reader
Suggestive, slight angst (you have to squint), fluff
<previous- next>
Warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming kinda, possessiveness, degradation, praise, thigh riding, choking a lot, pet names, jealousy
a/n : here we go again👨‍🦯
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"Is it true? Her and jaemin?" Students whispered amongst themselves and thats all you heard today, wondering why they were even talking about you and him. It was strange really, jaemin was nicer and there were very little pranks and even then, they weren't as bad as what they used to be.
"Y/n! Oh my god I can't believe it!" Yeri jumped with a smile plastered on her face, "Are you and jaemin together?"
You twisted your face in confusion. Is that what people think? "What!? No! Where did you even get that from?" You questioned.
Yeri smirked and leaned closer, "I heard from jeno that you both fucked." She leaned back, "is that true?"
"I- well thats not entirely wrong but what does that have to do with him and I dating?"
"Jaemins been nicer with you and there's rarely ever pranks. I mean, anyone with a brain could tell that something is up." Yeri pointed out. She raised an eyebrow as you glanced around, making sure no one can hear you.
"Okay yes me and jaemin did have sex, but seriously we aren't dating. And I'm just as shocked as you about the way he's acting." You whisper-yelled at your friend. She mouth fell into an 'o' shape as she nodded, then attempted to walk away until you grabbed and brought her back, "wait im missing something." You squinted, "please dont tell me everyone in the school knows."
"Okay I wont." She shrugged and tried to walk away again but your hand gripped her arm tighter, "Ow, did you get stronger?"
"Yeri I'm serious! No one was supposed to know and now everyone knows!" You slowly let go of her and stared at the ground, "i swear Im gonna kill that boy!"
Yeri snickered and patted your shoulder, "Dont you mean fuck him?"
"YERI!!"
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Order after order, customer after customer, you began to wear down after a hard days work. Irene stayed for a bit at yours and jaemins station to help since it was so busy. And it still wasn't fast enough for all the orders that just kept coming. It felt like you weren't going to finish and the shop closed at 8:30, it was currently 8:17.
"Ugh why is there so many orders at this time?" Irene groaned from exhaustion, jaemin snickered.
"Just be happy we get payed after this." He said and you all agreed.
Everything seemed to suddenly slow down at the cafe as it was beginning to close. Only a few orders were actually left and after that, you could close.
Irene and jaemin cleaned up the stations. Of course Irene left first afterwards, and you counted the money at the register. And since youve been working here for almost 2 years, counting money was just as easy as walking. But since its been super busy today, it took you a while to count some of the coins. Only once while you counted did you mess up, but you brushed it away and started again.
"Can you be any slower?" Jaemin commented, having just finished his part.
Putting the money away after counting, you put your hands on your hips like a mom scolding her child, "Whats the hurry all of a sudden?"
He only giggled and ruffled your already messy hair, "I wanna spend time with my baby."
You tried your hardest not to blush.
"No way." You swatted his hand off your head.
"And why not?" He quirked an eyebrow as you and him walked to an empty table in the cafe.
"Cuz you told jeno what we did last night and now the whole school knows. I'm kinda mad at you right now." Groaning, you hid your head in your arms trying to avoid his gaze.
You couldnt see him, but you heard the sigh and knew he was pouting at you, buy you didn't bother looking up.
"Why can't I brag about how good you were?" Jaemin questions, leaving you to groan louder.
"This isnt what I wanted..."
The boy shifted in his seat and pulled your head out your arms, his hands holding the side of your cheeks, "then what did you want?"
Your cheeks puffed as you tried to find the right words, "...to not have done what we did last night."
"So you regret it?"
You shrugged.
Jaemin leaned back and stared at you with a cold face. He has a hint as to why youre now suddenly saying this, not only because of him telling his friends, but also because of his past with you. If he wasnt pranking you, he was making fun of you, if it wasn't that, he'd make you flustered with his words or actions. Jaemin was annoying, yes, but your reactions were priceless to him. You got annoyed by jaemin and you hated him. He didnt blame you even after all this.
"I guess im not really mad at you telling him, just more confused on why you had sex with me." You started playing with a strand of fallen hair and waited for his answer.
"I did what I wanted to do from the beginning; fucking you dumb. If you think there's another reason, there isn't." Jaemin crossed his arms with a half smile.
You stopped playing with your hair and glared at him, "No no there has to be more! You're way to nice to me now for that to be it!"
"Do you think I like you?" He suddenly leaned forward. You didnt bother saying anything and sat back in the chair, "Why would I like you?"
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Its been a week since your last interaction with jaemin. Literally. Theres been no pranking or anything. It was odd, but you couldn't stop thinking back to what he said when you both were alone in the cafe. Something about that kind of stung. You dont know why but, you thought maybe, just maybe, he'd actually like you. And maybe, jimin was right about about you liking him.
"Hey how was work?" Jimin asked getting up from the couch. You noticed taemin was here too and it wasn't surprising anymore as he's been coming over recently this past week.
"It was a bit busy actually." You smiled, nodding your head in taemins direction to acknowledge him and he smiled in return. Cute.
Jimin came back to his seat on the couch and handed you and taemin a clas of iced tea, "Jaemin didnt do anything again huh?"
You shook your head, "You don't understand how weird this is. Like he completely stopped interacting with me." You sighed taking a sip and seat next to taemin before ranting again, "Wait...oh my god! Did I get played? Was he really just trying to fuck me this whole time?"
"Fu- what?" Taemin zipped his head at you.
"Its a long story-"
"No its not," jimin cut you off, "basically hes kind of a bully to her and hes always doing pranks and saying some provocative things, but magically," he started flailing his hands, "jaemin started being nice, said he wanted to 'fuck her dumb' and then she was in his bed."
"....so you just...let your bully fuck you??" Taemin squinted his eyes at you and you nodded slowly. "Interesting. "
"I dont even know why. Like it just happened." You stuck out your bottom lip and laid you head on taemins shoulder, "I can't believe I did that..."
"It was bound to happen." Jimin sipped his tea.
You lifted your head slightly off of taemins shoulder and stuck your tongue out, "You know what fuck you!"
"You both are like kids." Taemin said, moving to get up.
"Hm?" Jimin looked up from his iced tea, completely obvious to what taemin said and taemin shook his head.
"I need to get back home. Jimin don't stay up too late." Jimin whined at his friend as taemin got up, "y/n, be good." You gave him a thumbs up and watched as the black haired man left.
"Jimin hes cute." You frowned.
Jimin rolled his eyes, "tell him that next time then."
You rolled over so now you were laying on jimins lap and he gave you a look of disgust, but you ignored it, "Mans is too cute for someone like me to say something."
"Dude he literally called you cute the first day he met you." Jimin said a matter of factly.
"How do you know he wasnt lying?"
Jimin scoffed, "Taemin lying? Thats like me and you dating. It just doesn't go together."
"I dont know if i should be offended or happy." You glared.
"The latter." He averted his eyes from yours and continued watching the show on t.v.
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2 classes in and your were already tired. If you hadn't had stayed up so late with jimin, crying over some k-drama, maybe you wouldve gotten a good night sleep. But because of that you looked dead. You didn't even try to look your best this morning, only throwing on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and brushing your hair back. You thought you looked okay to some extent at least. Maybe not your normal self but at least you were presentable.
There's was only so much you could handle in your class right now too. Trigonometry was definitely not your strong suit and you wondered how you even got in this class.
People were hunched over doing their work and you were struggling with question one. It was a bit embarrassing. You looked to your right for answers but they were just as lost as you, so your left was your next move.
"I dont appreciate you cheating off my paper y/n." Jaemin whispered, making sure the professor didn't hear him.
"Sorry I'm just confused.." you grumbled, placing your pencil down, jaemin gave you a look.
"Maybe if you used your head you'd get it."
"Im not dumb jaemin."
He exhaled and rubbed his face with his hands, "Come over later ill help you."
You looked at jaemins partially completed paper then back at your blank one. You needed this if you wanted to pass but you also didn't want to be with jaemin at the moment and you weren't too sure what tricks the boy had up his sleeve.
"I dont think-"
"It wasnt a question." Jaemin then went back to his work, ignoring whatever protest you had as you were about to open your mouth.
It was at this point you even planned on not going later. The only thing is he really didn't like being disobeyed and you found him a bit scary when mad. It wouldnt be right to miss out on him tutoring you anyway because jaemin was a smart guy. With his help you should be able to pass easily given a few months.
The professor ended class a few minutes early. Jaemin and you both headed to your next class when someone tapped on your shoulder, making you curiously turn around.
"TAEMIN!" you leaped up and hugged the guy around his neck as he giggled with full cheeks. "What are you doing here?"
"I changed colleges since it was closer to where I was living, but I didnt realize you were here too!" He beamed.
Jaemin stood watching you both converse and giggle over small things. He wanted so badly to drag you away from taemin but he knew you weren't going to like him very much after that. But something about the two of you laughing and subtly flirting didnt sit right with him and he didnt know why. It wasnt jealousy because why would he be jealous with you? He didn't care about you in that way. So why was this making him angry?
"Y/n lets go to class." Jaemin interrupted the two of you.
"You can go ill be in shortly." You brushed him off as if he was nothing and began talking with taemin again. Jaemin despised it but listened to you and walked away.
You were happy taemin came to this school because now it gave you a chance to get closer with him. It was definitely the small crush that grew over the week that made you feel like a 14 year old girl whenever he said something remotely sweet.
Taemin and you stood just outside of the classroom door and you gave him a quick hug and good bye before heading into the room with a big smile.
Jaemin stared at you as you walked up the steps to your seat that was a few feet away from him. The smile plastered on your face made jaemin see how much of an impact taemin really had on you.
Seulgi and sana kept glancing back at you, snickering here and there. Something your not fazed by it anymore. Probably them planning another prank or something. You also felt another set of eyes behind you and looked back to see jaemin glaring at the back of your head. Wondering why he was doing that, you crooked your head to the side then faced the front again after not receiving any response from him.
Ten minutes passed and the professor never came. Students were still all around the room talking to each other and the room was noisy. You decided to just ignore everyone and focus on any work you could, everything other than trig. You were saving that for jaemin.
"Hey nana," jaemin looked away from you and gazed up at seulgi who was now standing in front of him, "theres a party later at Wendy's and joys house. You coming?"
You put the pencil down and started biting your nails, wondering what he would actually say, not that he would ditch on you, but still.
"Im working later." He simply said, seulgi rolled her eyes playfully.
"Ill come pick you up after just bring clothes."
Jaemin raised a brow, "ill be too tired to go."
He was starting to get on seulgis nerves as she grit her teeth, "Then ill come over after school."
You scoffed and rolled your eyes wondering why she was trying so hard. Clearly the boy didn't want to go, or at least go with her. You didnt understand how she couldn't see that.
"Can't im helping someone with trig after."
She leaned over his desk, jaemin not really fazed by anything as she kept coming closer, "I have a feeling you're lying nana."
"Why would I lie?" He replied stoic. "Y/n is coming over for help."
Its the way that literally everyone in the room looked back at jaemin and you. Such a weird pair. Now they really would be questioning the two of you.
You anxiously looked back at him, seulgi was up in his face, nose flared, jaemin remained still and not intimidated by her or the class. But you were ready for someone to say something.
"Whats with you and y/n all of a sudden?" Seulgi asked. You could tell she didn't want you to go over his house, that was pretty obvious, but its not like she could stop you.
"Nothing, she just needs help in trig."
The class was still silent, even after a good 30 seconds. Now you just wanted the professor come in and talk about some WW2 stuff so people would ignore this. But your were pretty sure your professor just didn't want to teach and stayed home for the day.
"You dont need to help her." She faked a smile when she glanced back at you. "Shes a smart girl."
Jaemin was just about ready to get up and walk away, "I want to help her pass, now I do believe your seat is over there." he pointed over to the middle row of seats, just a few before yours. Seulgi actually took the hint and walked away. Her eyes were trained on yours and she looked as if ready to say something but decided against it.
God, now you just wanted to leave.
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Jaemin placed a notebook and an open textbook on trig in front of you. His eyes watched as you hesitated to do your homework. You would get ready to write then lean back in confusion. For you, something was just not clicking with the whole trigonometry thing. You even started to wonder why you were taking it.
"Look this is what you have to do." Jaemin sat up and took the pencil out of your hand and went through the steps. Despite him being shockingly good at explaining and teaching, you found yourself lost at his words and just started staring at his side profile. Admittedly, you had to say he was pretty. And his lips as he was talking made you hypnotized. They looked soft and you wondered if you'll ever be able to feel them again.
"Repeat what I had just said."
You snapped out of your thoughts and hesitated, looking back at the paper then slowly began going over what you remembered until you started stumbling over your words and then stopped when he placed his hand on your thigh.
Jaemin exhaled loudly, sounding very disappointed in you and the only thing you could do was wait for whatever he had to say, "Why aren't you paying attention to nana?" His voice remained the same, but his nickname was a complete contrast.
"Im sorry I was distracted..."
"Distracted." Jaemin raised an eyebrow, "Theres nothing here to distract you."
Although you wanted to say he's been distracting you, you most certainly didn't and spared yourself the embarrassment.
"Y/n whats distracting you?" Jaemin set aside the pencil and gave you his full attention. Yet you remained silent and let him figure it out himself. But he knew, you were pretty easy to read. This is why he tapped your thigh, trying to get an answer out of you.
"You already know. Why do I have to say it?"
"I wanna hear it come out of your mouth." Jaemin shrugged.
"Jaemin..." you mumbled staring at your blank notebook, "Can we just move on?"
"Say it first." Consequently jaemin only made things worse by moving his hand up and down on your thigh in a taunting manner. One way or another he'll make you flustered.
"Youre clearly the distraction now can we please move on. We only have an hour and a half until work." You blushed.
A playful smirk found its way to his lips as he hummed in agreement. His hand still rested on your thigh and he once again tried explaining the problem in front of you. Granted, your phone went off in the middle of his second attempt of explaining.
"Taemin texted me hold on." You reached to grab your phone but jaemin was faster. He took your phone and threw it on the bed behind him.
"Pay attention." Jaemin had said. But you decided to be a bit stubborn and decided to get up and grab your phone, but jaemin had other plans. Hence why now you were stuck in a death grip on his lap with a hand to your neck. You couldn't see his face, but you knew it was cold. Jaemin didn't like to be disobeyed even for a second. "You only listen to me when I make a move, so do I have to keep you in this position for you to do your work?" You quickly shook your head and tried to wiggle out of his strong grip, but jaemin wouldn't let you go. Particularly because he figured you'd try and grab your phone again, which in that case, wasn't going to happen. If you so desperately wanted to pass, hes going to make you pass. Jaemin doesn't care even if he has to go as far as disciplining you either. As long as you pass, he'll be fine.
"You dont want to disappoint nana right?" You shook your head again. "You have a voice, use it."
"N-no.."
Jaemin hummed and let go of your neck, still keeping you on his lap. "Now be a good girl and listen. This is the last time I'll repeat myself."
So then you listened. Certainly because jaemin would not hesitate in making you regret any decisions you had.
After his third explanation, you understood the whole process a bit more and began doing your work. Jaemin was happy to see you do the problems, only pointing out a few mistakes, but praising you after for getting them right. You'd try your best not to smile or blush by putting your head down or looking away. Jaemin found it cute and couldn't help but smile himself.
"Lets get ready for work." Jaemin tapped your thigh for you to get up then he made his way to the closet to find clothes.
"Do you have a white t-shirt I can use?" You asked and jaemin threw you a shirt. Luckily for you the dress code was white on top, black on bottom so you didn't need to worry about the pants.
The both of you changed swiftly, not really caring about each others presence as you've already seen each other naked.
Without warning, jaemin dragged you out the his car, not bothering to give you a chance to say you wanted to drive yours. And you both were off.
It was a silent car ride besides the soft music playing on the radio. Jaemin kept you occupied with a hand resting on your thigh. He had a nice hand, you weren't gonna lie, but besides you gawking at his hand, it really did keep your mind focused. Not even the streets filled with so much activity could make you stop staring. It came to the point where you ended up grabbing his hand and played with his fingers.
"If you like my hands so much maybe I should use them on you again." Jaemin said, your breathing stopped for a second and you faced him.
"I just... find your hands nice thats all. Nothing sexual nana." You emphasized his nickname with a mocking tone. But in reality it was a very lowkey sexual desire to have him feel you up again, or even finger you. Whatever it was, you didn't want to admit it.
Parking the car, you and jaemin went inside the cafe to find it was again very busy. Irene was at the register helping a customer with their order and when she glanced up, you could've sworn she saw a ghost.
She finished the order and looked between you two, "Am I missing something?" She asked, pointing a finger at you guys as if accusing you, "you never come in together nor even walk inches next to each other."
"Y/n was at my house because I was tutoring her for school, so I drove her here too." Jaemin responded and you nodded in agreement. Still, irene found this crazy.
"Okay...just get to work then..." she squinted her eyes. Jaemin was the first to get to the stations, followed by you who made sure to look at the orders on screen.
After a while of making coffees, teas, and such you decided it was time for a break, so you asked irene if you can just take a seat for a bit to which she said yes.
Only a few tables remained empty, you took one near a window so you could see what was happening outside. Nothing different. Some teenagers fooling around on the sidewalk, couples passing by, and people rushing to get to their jobs. Meanwhile you never noticed someone sitting in front of you until they blew into your ear.
"Ahhh, what the fuck taemin!" Frowning at the sudden intusion, taemin laughed at your shocked face and sputtered many apologies. Many of which you knew he didnt mean.
"How long have you been sitting there?" You leaned over the table asking.
Taemin naturally leaned over too, getting closer to your face, "Just got here." He smiled, "I texted you that I was coming but you never replied."
You pouted in realization that that was when jaemin decided to discard your phone on his bed and not allow you to get it back. "Sorry I was being tutored for trig."
"Its fine." He pinched your cheeks, the smile never left his face once he finally saw a shade of red on your cheeks. Moreover, the two of you kept conversing for about 5 more minutes. Taemin talked about how jimin was bored all day from not seeing you at home so he went over to comfort him. You chuckled at the thought of jimin sadly laying against his friend and playing video games, trying not to feel bored. It made you happy that you had that kind of impact on him, knowing damn well no matter how much he said he said you weren't fun, that was a lie.
"I have to go. I'll make sure to come by later." With that taemin and you stood up and gave each other a hug. What surprised you was the lips on your cheek, giving you a bunch of butterflies in your stomach. "Bye y/n." Taemin winked and walked out the cafe.
Alarmed and flustered by what happened, you steadily walked back to the counter and just stopped there.
One might consider that to be a cute thing to see in a cute little cafe but jaemin thought otherwise and he was quite literally done with this.
"Come here." Jaemin made a finger motion to you and took you to the back of the cafe, away from the bustling people. "Whats with you and that taemin dude?"
"Why do you care?" You tilted your head up at him with a smirk. If you can manage to successfully push jaemins buttons and walk away with it, this would be the best day ever.
Jaemin took your chin in his index and thumb, bringing your face closer, "I asked you a question. I expect an answer."
"I dont have to answer if I dont want to." You tried swatting his hand away from your chin but he only moved down to your neck, causing you to gasp at the sudden squeeze. Basically, jaemin was choking you out of jealousy. "H-hes just m-my friend." You stuttered as you told the truth expecting jaemin to now let go, but he only softened his grip.
"I hate him."
"You dont know him." You mocked back and jaemin lazily rolled his eyes.
"I dont care if I dont know him I hate the fact that hes with you." Jaemin growled, letting your neck go.
You took the chance to let out a laugh at his frustrated face. This was entertaining to you and for once you had the upper hand, "so youre saying you're jealous?"
Roughly, jaemin slammed your back against the building with his face only mere centimeters from yours. You could smell the scent of mint in his breath too. "Maybe I am." Jaemin pushed a knee between your legs. "Shouldnt mess with my girl. And you shouldn't have let him kiss your cheek." Jaemins lips hovered over your lips. His hands harshly gripped your hips, moving you them over his thigh. Hearing the sound of you moaning out in shock, jaemin captured your lips in a kiss, a rough one at that.
His anger was through the roof and he showed that. "Youre mine and only mine. I'm the only one who can touch you like this, kiss you like this." Jaemin kissed down your jaw, still grinding your core on his thigh. You tried silencing your whimpers by biting your hand, but jaemin was quick to stick his fingers in your mouth, causing you to gag and choke.
Without a moments hesitation, jaemin pulled away from your neck to watch you suck around his fingers and he laughed through an angry aura, "If only taemin could see how much of a slut you are for me, maybe he would back off." You whined around his fingers and he pushed deeper down your throat. Your hips stuttered a bit, but kept moving forward, trying to get more friction.
"Such a stupid little girl for nana." Jaemin ruthlessly began fucking your throat with his fingers, "Are you gonna cum out here? What if somebody walks out and sees?" Your eyes rolled back and jaemin hummed still keeping the pace with his fingers and helping you move your hips. "Aww but I bet you wouldn't care. Since your so eager to cum and all." You gripped his wrist becoming more and more desperate to reach your high. Indeed you were so close that you started seeing stars, but jaemin pulled his thigh and fingers away.
"Were you about to cum?" He laughed in your face sadisticly. Your face heated up in embarrassment. "Stupid girl."
Cooing at your red face, jaemin brought you into another kiss, much softer than before but enough to know who's in charge.
"Lets get back to work, yeah?" Jaemin tapped your cheek with his two fingers and walked away leaving you hot and bothered.
Naturally you wouldve followed but you literally almost came in your pants just outside of your work. What were you thinking letting jaemin do that to you? And why did he have such an affect on you to the point that you forgot about what happened with taemin. You couldn't stand out here any longer and went inside. Jaemin was calm as if you didn't almost just get off on his thigh and sucked his fingers off. God this boy was doing something to you and you couldn't take it!
Working next to him seemed even more difficult. You were a hot mess, plus you were horny and honestly jaemins existence wasn't helping. And now, especially now, you realized that lasting until 8:30 was going to be a train wreck.
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The school day was normal, yeri was hyper as always and cracking jokes making you spit out your banana milk. And her constant teasing about jaemin was nothing different. Of course you told her what happened the other day, she's your best friend, and she was blown away. Yeri wasn't expecting such news to be dropped on her like that and you couldnt blame her, only shrugging your shoulders and sipping your banana milk.
Stopping mid sip, you saw the boy you were subtly looking for; jaemin. Your reason? Well even you didn't know but your for sure were going to come up with something.
For the past few days jaemin never left your mind. Even when you saw him he always lingered. You could say you missed him. Besides that, taemin was never on your mind anymore. Just jaemin. It was like your mind needed him.
So you got up from your seat, yeri looked up confused and watched as your legs took you to your destination. Your heart was beating rapidly and you weren't even sure how this would go. Either you'll die from embarrassment or be the happiest girl alive. It was the anticipation.
You sucked in a deep breath once you got to him, jaemin peered up at you with curiosity, some other students even found your boldness interesting, until you spoke, "Wanna go out with me?"
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plusultrcs · 3 years
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Okay so now that i’m done crying about shadow and bone to my friends i want to make a controversial statement. Don’t bite my head off for my opinion bc 1. idc i said what i said and 2. it aint that serious these are fictional characters moving on though. I don’t think the show is bad AT ALL i really enjoyed it and seeing the inclusion of leigh and her books was so fucking cute but i will say i think combining both series into one did a huge disservice to the character development of most, if not ever, character. and i’ll explain why so (obviously) sab spoilers ahead. this also obnoxiously long so if you dont read it thats fine <3 lmao
I know going into it everyone, including leigh pretty much, was saying not to expect it to be like the books. That it was going stray away and be more like a fanfiction than the original works. Which was true, but only for the six of crows characters. The show leaned heavily and relied heavily on the plot of shadow and bone. Which, of course, makes sense but because of the inclusion of a heavy heavy re-worked six of crows plot that didnt fit the plot of shadow and bone at all it left them feeling incredibly displaced. Like on shadow and bones part every single major and sometimes even the minor plot points were followed to the number, but on the six of crows front the only thing closely followed was the nina and matthias backstory. I wont talk about every single character because i anticipate this to already be long, but the ones i noticed the most were done a disservice.
For instance Alina. Despite shadow and bone being followed so closely you dont really get to see the natural progression of alina’s character the way i was hoping we would. And that’s definitely because of the time restraints. They had to find a way to somehow balance the screen time for both separate plots so that they could hold the audiences attention for both. Like when nina and matthias plot wasnt on the screen for i think 2 episodes i almost forgot about them and what they were up to so i understand why they timing had to be so split, especially when you only have 8 hours to cover the characters of 2 over 300 page long books yknow? But that means important moments alina had to herself in the books were completely cut, and so a lot of that growth we got went with it. The the biggest thing i was disappointed to see go was the defeat she felt when she was first captured and collared by the darkling. She was feeling absolutely helpless, mal was in their hold, she had no power to do anything but sit there and let him use her. All the training she did felt pointless to her and she really was at the point of giving up. She went quiet, wouldnt speak,was basically a zombie until that moment in the fold when she saw innocent people suffering when she knew she could stop. And she found a way to break free. There were other moments like this in the book, like moments at the little palace where shelt herself getting further and further from mal and feeling like an outside on her own all over again. They tried to show it in the show but without the time to develop her life on her own at the little palace it definitely fell short.
Speaking of mal: THANK YOU WRITERS FOR FIXING HIS WHINY ASS. And while he was annoyingly whiny in the books, he is not a boring character. Not to me at least, honestly he never was. While i do appreciate them not making him so whiny, I would have appreciated seeing that same dissonance realizing alina was grisha brought about in the books. Its just like alina said, grisha were people they scoffed at and talked about in a joking way. Their lives felt miles and miles away from their own, and then to learn that she had been one the entire time. I know i know, it has nothing to do with, and alina didnt know either. BUT THAT IS STILL HIS BEST FRIEND. And obviously girl he’s in love with even if he wasnt aware of it at the time. it made him question everything he thought about grisha, and more importantly brought both of their biggest fears to light: being torn apart. In the book he doesnt deal with this well at ALL and while leigh bardugo does a great job throughout the series showing him growing to me he never got where he should have been, and the show did place him there but i think they do so prematurely. I definitely wanted him to be as understanding as he was, to take notice of how much healthier and stronger she looks since she’s not withholding her power anymore, but i did still want the tension of him wondering what it means for them, how their lives would change, because just based on laws alone she is a grisha and would typically never be someone he would have the chance to befriend but neither of them would be okay with that.
AND ON THE TOPIC OF MALINA. THEY ARE NOT A BORING SHIP. I think the only person other who would work for alina is nikolai (dont fight me on this im right), and that is who i wanted her to end up with. However, I understand why Mal was the choice. Alina has always been someone who just wanted to belong, to fit in somewhere, AND THAT IS OKAY. IT’S NOT A CRIME TO WANT TO BE ORDINARY. I know shes the main character, and has the prophecy of being the ~chosen one~ but that doesnt mean she suddenly has to alter change and rearrange herself entirely. she never wanted to be a saint, and even by the end of the series she still doesnt. Choosing to let the world believed she died so she could live a quiet life. tHAT’S ALL SHE’S EVER WANTED. And Mal is the perfect person to give her that. People who claim she gave up her life for mal, to me, didn’t understand her character. She bounced around from needing mal by her side, and when she couldnt have him there she still sought acceptance in the only other person willing to give it to her, i.e. the darkling. and then when she couldnt have it from him she’s forced to find it in herself and while she learns she doesnt need him or mal she doesnt need anyone, she still chooses mal bc she wants to be with him. she doesnt feel obligated and even later on in the books makes plenty stands on her own without him but she loves him and they honestly make perfect sense. a softer ship doesnt make it a boring one js.
NOW THE SIX OF CROWS GANG. I hate to say it, i do but they felt reduced to a form comedic relief. they had their serious moments ofc but for the most part whenever they popped up on the screen i knew a joke or gag was soon to follow. i will say kit as jesper? best decision that could have possibly been made he fucking did what he had to DO. Kaz’s development for me felt really really rushed and forced. Like he was saying things to inej he wouldnt have said so quickly and especially not while he wasnt under stress??? it honestly felt like fan service??? which im not mad at because again i dont think the show was bad at all the actors brought really great life to the crows, but it just makes me sad to see all that development and build up go out the window.  i think if they were that set on combining the crows story with the shadow and bone story it would have been so much nicer to get a sort of prequel on the crows. like they should have given them the same treatment they gave nina and matthias. so that we could see their backstories as explained in the book happening in real time like how they all came to ketterdam. i know theres no point in wishing that now since whats done is done and again I DONT THINK ITS BAD. Im just sad about all the character development and strong subtle points lost because leigh bardugo always does such a great job in dropping subtle hints and always bringing them back in the end, and that was sadly lost. STILL A GOOD SHOW STILL LOVE THE BABIES. STILL PRAYING FOR A SEASON TWO.
EDIT: IT ALSO MADE ME SAD TO SEE THEM LOSE SO MANY TIMES??? ESPECIALLY AFTER SOC WHERE THEY ALWAYS MANAGED TO WIN?? Like ofc it made perfect sense for them to be unable to capture the damn sun summoner !!! but kaz and all of the crows are meant to be the best of the best when it comes to criminals top tier and they were bested by a ball of light and a jog???? and them going home basically empty handed was kinda :// like i got it but also where did alina get that necklace lmao so yeah once again still great still love it questions had to be asked 
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random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)
well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie.  back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time.  i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped
I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.
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