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kneelingshadowsalome · 8 months

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🤠🫶:

I am CACKLING like a cartoon villain oh my GOD you are a genius!!! Of course the toxic king breaks his back of COURSE he does the fucking idiot (affectionate), so there's fuck-all he can do with reader's big announcement that this was all worth it and he can totally get some...yknow, in a couple months. AHHHHH. And she just wanted to give him something to look forward to, motivation for the physical therapy <33 (she boops his nose while he lays there wishing for death and cowering from her, of course she does, omg. i love them your honor!!)

and maybe she gets more confident now that he can't fucking move 💀💀 (lmao, oh god. König if you weren't such a menace this would have been easier for her a lot earlier and nobody would be in this situation) and maybe this leads to way more sensual touching from her on her own initiative; she's curious, after all, and she does like him a lot and she's just trying to help him get better, you know? and König eats that shit up, starts telling her all about these itches and sore muscles he can't reach, could she be a dear (trying to act like he's not literally begging for her touch) and then he basically blacks out the first time her hands linger and drift, but probably better that than the things he was going to say to her. So König wants to die, this is too much, he's done, he's a goner each time she visits him. and damn her, she's a devoted little thing, never misses visiting hours. Always so sweet and caring towards him and it's the perfect image of a faithful, doting housewife without the wife or the house or the sex part of it lmao. And of course he can’t move when all this is happening!!! so basically just more torture and his mind just kind of breaks into little tiny pieces held together by demented lovesick lust-filled fantasies. he says some absolutely filthy things (makes the cunt licking look family friendly in comparison), he can't control it really anymore, and poor reader is shocked/horrified and blushing furiously, but thinks it's the medications and the pain and whatnot, tries to be understanding, only chides him once she gets her shock under control (and he's actually stone cold sober the entire fucking time lmao, but he ain't telling her that, she'd run if she knew).

AND THEN MAYBE~~ (dun dun dun) one day reader is FINALLY reaching under the stupid hospital bed blanket - he can feel her soft little fingertips and carefully manicured nails travel down his abs, trace the V of his hips (my man is going to black out again, good lord) and she's looking at him with big round eyes and she's nervous she's going to do it wrong and he won't like it (as if), and it's taking FOREVER for her to get her hand between his legs bc sweet little thing just wants to do it right, and he's out of his mind, half-crying, whisper-begging at this point (it's probably not even English, not German either, just mindless pleas). Her hand FINALLY wraps around his length and he's lucky he doesn't cum right then and there; she's blushing so violently at taking a man in her hands for the first time and she's seeking HIS approval with those pretty doe eyes as she bites her lip. So of course that's when there's a knock at the door (the universe hates him, he's going to scream, whoever this is is lucky he can't move and they might die anyway from the blast radius of sheer rage) and a doctor comes in for daily rounds. Reader barely has time to yank her hand back before doc sticks his head through the privacy curtains and yep our man's heart might actually just stop, he is just going to keel over right then and there.

so not even a handjob for our poor king <3 if he doesn’t die (lol) he transfers to in-home care IMMEDIATELY and finally gets reader to himself in a more private setting where he can lock the fucking door. this is the part where I look away lmao, I'd leave him blue-balled & suffering forever ...am i a mean person?? also RIP to that doctor. this verse is so hilarious & wonderful and i love it, feels like a tug of war between tropes and genres if that makes sense which results in your delightful genius works, thank you thank you <333

This is so beautiful. I am puddle & I can't thank you enough for collaborating & I LOVE YOU Howdy anon 💋 and um, I think I got a little too excited about their first time lol oops (I can't leave him blue-balled forever! Poor man would die of heart failure 🥺)

(Tamara and Demon (1864), Mihály von Zichy)

Word count: 3.7 k

CW: 18+ NSFW. Corruption kink goes brrrr. Masturbating, dirty talking, obsessive/yandere König. Awkward handjob. First time/virgin!reader. Kinda sweet and fluffy 🩷 Also coersion/mildly dubious consent, tread carefully!

A/N: You can find the story of König x virgin!reader and their relationship so far by following the tag (könig x virgin reader)

Oh she visits him alright!

She’s much braver now that König is bedridden and can’t move. They actually spend more time together after the weightlifting accident. The intense stares haven’t gone anywhere, he's actually gotten worse in that department, but otherwise, König is behaving quite nicely.

He seems to like it when she reads to him next to his bed, which is immensely cute in her opinion. Armed with a new book in the crook of her arm, she’s on her way to visit him again for another session.

She's already accustomed to simply floating in after giving his door a light rap. She's also gotten used to the sight of guns and knives and the smell of army storage, even the manly, pungent stench of sweat that lingers on top of it.

But it’s not the potpourri of masculine military scents that stop her at the door and nearly make her drop her book.

The King himself is lying naked on the bed – well, naked except for the bag of a mask he seems to hold on to like it’s his soul. This time, she doesn’t even see it: her eyes fly straight to the towering erection he’s stroking, urgently with one hand while the other cups a pair of shaved, pale balls.

"König…?"

The man who calls himself King curses – in German or in English, she can’t tell. The sight of him there, caught red-handed on touching himself, only makes her feel sorry for him. König has nowhere to run and hide, nothing to cover himself with, he's not supposed to even move yet. And he is not the one who should be embarrassed, after all, she's the one who barged in on his privacy.

Although… König doesn't look embarrassed.

He only looks drunk and sweaty and in need.

She thinks about turning back and leaving him with hurried excuses because what the hell is she supposed to do…? Read him a book? He is still gripping his cock like it’s a sword or something, breathing like he just ran a marathon.

And speaking of swords, that weapon is far too big for her... Hell, she doesn’t know much about swords but she would deem that sword far too big for any woman.

If she were clever, she would run away from that stare and that huge, monstrous cock. But she’s not that clever, that much is clear because everyone she’s told she’s dating König have warned her about him. Every cell in her body is warning her of danger, but she keeps running back to him, over and over again…

Well, at least he can’t move, she thinks, takes a hesitant step, and places the book down on a table. Just when she’s about to whisper some calming, soothing words to this beast, the beast speaks.

"Take your clothes off," comes a husky command from the bed, and she freezes with her fingertips still on the cover of her cute little book about German fairytales (she knows König likes his fairytales bloody).

Normally, she would make a scene out of such audacity. She might even storm out of the room and vow to never speak to him again for daring to talk to her like that.

But…

He looks so desperate. König looks like a giant bound for torture on that bed. And he's not the only one who has been tormented these past few weeks… The incident at the hospital has plagued her dreams every night as she has tucked herself in with the memories of König's… sword.

Perhaps it would help with his pain if she offers him relief in his time of need. No harm can come from that, surely. She doesn't know how exactly taking her clothes off will help, but if that is his wish, then it’s the least she can do.

To her and his surprise, her hands drift to the hem of the top she’s wearing. She’s feeling rather wild – something about seeing König completely naked yet unable to move is making her act like this. Like she's the brave one. Like she’s in control now.

Dedicated to her task, she pulls the shirt over her head.

Nothing moves on that bed for a good long while. As far as she can tell, König might've stopped breathing. But by the time she takes her bra off, there’s a swallow under that hood. Then the hand slowly starts to stroke again, the moist, slick sounds continue as her breasts fall free from their confinement.

She’s breathing heavily too, and the man on the bed is stiff as a stone: every single muscle in his body is pulled taut as he stares at her breasts like they’re the Revelation of John. Then those blue eyes lift to her face just before another command is issued.

"Take off the rest."

"The–the rest…?"

"I just want to watch you."

His voice is hoarse and croaky, and she feels even more sorry for him – König must be in so much pain and she just keeps on teasing him. She started this, so perhaps it’s better just to see it through.

What’s crazy though is that he actually moans when she gets out of her pants, socks, and finally, her underwear. The slick sounds of fapping increase, and he’s moaning.

She hasn’t even touched him yet… She’s just standing there before him completely naked, heat pooling low in her belly as König continues to work himself with what looks like both pleasure and pain.

"Komm… Come here," he orders next, out of breath but surprisingly politely, and she has no other option than to approach his bed. She sits down as chastely as possible, then almost jumps back up when a steel-hard thigh brushes against hers.

"Touch it. Ja?"

Her eyes grow as wide as they can go as she takes in the cock she has touched once before, briefly and under a hospital sheet. Now it’s right there, foreign and demanding.

Better just to see it through, her mind tweets as her hand reaches out through what feels like water. Like before, there's a sharp intake of air under the hood as she takes him in her hand. It’s even hotter than she remembered, and gives a tight pull the instant her fingers wrap around it.

"Like this…?"

"Just like that…"

Her meek little mouse peeps and multiple bats of eyelashes are like drug to him, it seems. The man is as tight as a bowstring when she starts to move her hand up and down, mimicking the motions she just saw him do. They're not as fast as his, and her grip must be way gentler, but she seems to do surprisingly well for an inexperienced virgin. The poor man looks like he’s about to faint on that bed.

What she doesn’t expect, however, is König to touch her.

A large, warm palm sweeps across her ribs and lands on her breast, softly, as if he's concerned that he might scare her off. She's the one who's stopped breathing now… And then he rubs her, squeezes her. Gently… Reverently.

"You're soft," comes a strained sigh from the bed as she tries to keep her own grip both tight and gentle. She’s starting to get so wet she fears she will stain his sheets. Bewildered, she tries to change her position, but the palm cupping her breast seems to have bound her to the bed too. Nothing moves, except her hand and his as they explore each other. A giant and an angel...

Something hot and wet meets her hand as she strokes him – is he cumming already…? But it can't be, she has heard there’s supposed to be quite a bit of it when a man cums, and there’s only a few ample drops of clear liquid oozing out of the slit on his tip.

"Can't wait for the day I get to make you scream," he rasps, and her heart is hammering in her chest as more cum-like liquid streams from the slit of his cock, adding to the lewd, moist sounds of the handjob she’s giving him.

König doesn’t know she has never even kissed a guy…

"We'll… we'll get there," she tries to soothe him, thanking her lucky stars this man can't move.

"I want to fuck you," he continues, sounding more and more desperate. "Good and hard… until you cry under me. Want to see if you can take it all in."

"König…"

"It’s a long cock, ja? I can make you squirt."

"König, I'm still a virgin… You can't–"

"Nh–Sorry… sorry."

His head falls back on the pillow, his muscles relax just for the tiniest moment. But if she thought he would finally leave her to it, she was wrong. The hand of a giant killer drops between her legs next.

She’s sitting on the bed like she would sit on a side saddle, with one leg slightly bent, giving the horniest man on earth good enough access to the heat between her legs. She doesn’t stop him – she doesn’t even want to – as broad fingertips meet her pubic hair and slip between her already slick folds.

"...Was? Pretty angel is all wet," he comments on her state of mess. Approvingly: like all his fears have suddenly disappeared.

She has to fight the urge to roll her head back and moan as those agile fingers start to give her full, generous strokes. She almost messes up her rhythm while stroking his cock, which seems to have gotten even harder.

His fingers delve into her with more courage, they tease her tight, tender nub with excited circles. She tries not to jolt and shiver as he makes her even more slick, tries to ignore how her nipples grow hard from that burning stare alone.

"Such a pretty girl… and so wet. You sure you don't want it?"

She thinks about it – how it would feel if he somehow was able to take her on that bed. If he pushed that cock inside her and if it would hurt or make her moan even more. Even the thought of trying to fit that inside her makes her thighs feel like pudding.

"I don’t know… You're still recovering."

"Heh… That's not a problem. You can be on top. I'll help," he offers as if it’s a gentlemanly thing to do, to help her bounce on that huge cock.

"I–I'd rather do it the classic way."

"I'll show you classic when I get better," he promises with unconcealed greed. "I'll show you all the other ways too. We’ll do it any way you like."

She tries hard not to whimper when hearing his promise. She tries her best to pleasure the biggest cock she’s ever seen. It’s ridiculous that it’s the only cock she’s ever seen... What sort of a cruel joke was it from the universe to choose this king-sized Austrian to be her first man?

She wonders how König would react if she told him he’s too big for her.

Would he try to change her mind? Would he have a meltdown?

Would he cry…?

She doubts if this man ever cries. The last time a brutal soldier like him shed tears was probably when he was a kid. But he did look like he was about to cry that one time when she booped his nose...

And despite being a cold-blooded soldier and somewhat awkward at times, König has always been so, so delicate with her. He's tender even now, touching her with the gentlest avarice there is. But that searing stare wants to possess her, devour her, and it makes her bite her lip nearly to the point of drawing blood.

"Sit on my face?" he offers next, this time sounding so desperate it's almost pathetic.

Sit on his face…

What would he even do? Lick her? Try to push his tongue inside her while finishing himself?

The thought alone makes her mess up her rhythm again and causes her pussy to pulse more wetness on his fingers. She secretly hopes he would slip at least one of those fingers inside.

"Let me see your cunt," he begs. God – this giant mercenary is begging to see her poor, aching pussy. "Just… let me at least taste you–"

She can’t even reply before the hand between her legs gives a sudden twitch and stops those delicious rubs. Actually, his whole body is going rigid.

"König…? Am I hurting you?"

"I'm–gonna cum…"

Oh god.

Oh god ohgod-

She's not sure what gives her more of a fright: the sound that leaves her soldier boyfriend as he cums, or the bright, hot flash of liquid that shoots from the cock in her hand.

He groans like it’s torture. Long and hard, so loud that she’s sure other people can hear it in the neighboring rooms, perhaps even further than that. There’s one, two, three spurts of thick, hot liquid, after that, she loses count because it spills to coat his stomach, it runs down her hand, and she’s pumping him in a frenzy while he just keeps on moaning.

"Slow, slow down–" he tries to groan in the middle of his climax and she obeys immediately, reveling in how his cock still throbs in her hand when she finally stops moving altogether. More cum gushes out with every strong pulse, even if the eruptions are less violent. Ropes of it already cover his abs, it coats her hand with thick film – it's far more than she would ever have expected, and a shiver goes through her as she imagines what it must feel like to take all of that semen inside her…

"Ah… Das war wirklich…" König sighs dreamily while she must be looking like a startled deer.

Yes, that was really something… She doesn’t know what to do with his cock, or her hand, or the mess that coats half his body.

Luckily, he instructs her to take his old shirt from the floor and clean herself with it. She cleans him with it too, dabs the black t-shirt over his muscled stomach, even tries to swipe his crotch with it as gently as she can.

König looks happier by the minute, looks at her like she’s an angel or something, and when she fully commits herself to getting him cleaned up, he gets another erection. She’s quite horrified – how is this even possible…? She thought men would need at least hours to get it back up again.

"Come on top," he offers, sounding all but seductive with that commanding tone.

She swallows, thinking if König wants to be a "gentleman" and finish her too. With his tongue... or something else.

"Just for a hug? We don't have to put it in."

She seems to be under some spell tonight, because she simply drops the poor, cum-stained shirt back on the floor and crawls to the bed and on top of him.

König is hot and lean as she presses herself against him, her thighs now straddling the intimidating thing between his legs. Her head falls right beside his mask-covered face, and the smell of guns and fuel and sweat is prominent there, as is his natural odor, the woodland musk she has grown so fond of.

"There we go," his arms go around her waist, pressing her tighter against him. There’s no escape now, she thinks, but like always with König, she eventually softens and relaxes, molds against him… Accepts her fate.

"You did well, Meine Liebe," he even caresses her head as she slowly melts into his hold. "I’m sorry if I frightened you. Will you forgive me?"

"Um, of course."

"A gentleman should always apologize if he has upset his lady. Do you agree?"

"Uh… Yes."

"I promise to be a good man. The best man you could ever hope for."

She bites her lip as König continues to caress her. She’s far from upset, but she doesn’t want to tell him that and excite him too much. Otherwise he might end up hurting himself. He hugs her tight, and seems to have calmed down more than ever.

Is this what an orgasm does to a man...? The change is drastic, and her lover feels warm, and tender, and inviting. He even whispers more promises on her skin. They're nonsensical but gentle, König is probably trying to be romantic, but she can feel how his breaths grow heavier as time goes on. After all, they're both naked, pressed tightly together, closer than ever before, and he's having an erection again...

She tries not to shiver at the things he tells her. The husky promises of love and protection: "You are mine now, ja? Don’t be afraid. I would never hurt you. I will always keep you safe." And then, "You’re still wet, mein Mädchen… How about we practice just a little bit? We'll do it slow. Ja? I will make you moan…"

He coos those things in her ear while holding her in place for his cock. She starts to move on her own accord; it’s like her hips have their own will. Soon, her entrance meets the tip of him, still hot and bulged, and she starts to grind against it with barely restrained greed. She is wet – wetter than ever.

König curses multiple times under his breath, and she feels so, so filthy for loving how unhinged he is, how unhinged she is – spread wide on top of him like that, trying to get off of the faintest touch of his cock. She’s so soaked that the hot tip of him glides across her folds with no effort at all.

She feels like she’s doing something forbidden, taking her pleasure from him like that, but König doesn’t seem to know what the word filthy even means. He keeps praising her, guiding her, helping her, telling her how good she feels, that she’s doing so, so well.

Soon, he’s asking to put it in – just the tip.

She tries her best not to sound too needy as she breathes a soft, mousy "Yes."

"How does that feel?"

He’s panting, few inches of thick cock inside her, and she thinks, did she just lose her virginity? Is this it? Why isn’t it hurting?

“You like that, hmm?”

He feels so, so good, pressing her against him, spreading her legs with his own, trying to feed more of that marvelous thickness inside. It doesn’t hurt, at least not yet. It makes her dizzy to even think what she must be looking like, with her legs spread and a huge cock partly inside her.

She should say something… What was it that he asked? Oh yes, if she likes it. She more than just likes it, and tries to push herself down to get more of him in. König reacts immediately with a ton of praise leveled at her in the softest possible way.

“That's it, that's it, pretty girl, take it in…”

Him cheering her on like that only makes her decide that it’s time to let go and let go for good. But she can’t get him in by herself, not while he’s holding her a prisoner like this.

"More… König, please," she hears herself whimper.

God, is this all it took...? Him holding her close and letting her find the joys of sex herself? Apparently so, because he sounds goddamn smug when he turns his head to rasp more needy, throaty things in her ear.

"Ah… Knew you'd beg for it… "

His voice makes her inner walls clamp down on him, and that’s when it hurts, but only slightly. She wants him so much that it’s painful. And König… God, he keeps on showering her with praises and promises.

"I'll show you how good it can be… That's it, let me hear you. It's a good cock, ja? Good cock for a pretty girl…"

It’s not even fully in before he starts the thrusts. That’s when she knows she has lost her virginity. She’s being plunged. Not taken… Just… loved, thoroughly and deeply.

When she moans, finally sounds as filthy as can be, he tells her how tight she is. How good she feels. He says he’s going to cum again soon. But not before her…

He doesn’t need to instruct her to rub her clit on his pelvis in rhythm with the thrusts. She is smart enough to do that by herself. And the thoughts of This is it, I’m not a virgin anymore have turned into Is it possible to cum on your first time…?

Everything’s perfect, all things considered. But there’s something missing.

"König," she swallows arduously. "I’ve never been kissed... Would you– Could you…?"

He stops moving, releases his hold a little. A strong heart is hammering inside his chest, she can feel it against her own fluttering heartbeat.

Is it stupid of her to ask…? Will he only laugh at her for being so sentimental?

Apparently no, because it’s the warmest possible command that surrounds her this time.

"Lift the mask, angel."

By the time their lips meet, both hesitant and needy, he's fully inside her and holding her like a mountain. She feels like she's in a fairytale now: the only thing that moves is his mouth, and hers. Theirs is a slow, hungry rhythm.

Her first kiss is not only awkwardly romantic and sweet, it’s sinfully good.

The kiss also does things she did not expect. Her pussy goes tight around him, so tight that a whimper or two escape her nose, and König only purrs – she feels like the softest little creature in the embrace of a lean jaguar.

And she thinks…

Why on earth didn't they do this months ago?

#answered #yandere könig #könig smut #könig x virgin reader

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bratphilia · 6 months

Text

one last phone call

summary: Mike calls you one last time while he's on shift.

note: once again written before i actually saw the movie, so there's definitely divergence in what actually happens in the plot.

pairing: mike schmidt x reader

tags: phone sex, dirty talk, masturbation, mention of death, edging? LMAO

... ring ! ... ring ! ... ring !

"Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system..."

Of course you didn't pick up. It's 4 in the morning for fuck's sake. But there was something important about this call.

"Hey, baby... I'm sorry to call you at such a bad time — I'm awful, I know," Mike says with a small laugh.

"I just wanted to, you know, talk before... nevermind, I'll spare you the details. Uhm, I-uh.. I love you. More than anything in the world. I hope you know that. And I wish I was there with you tonight. I wish I didn't take this fucking job, but I'll do anything to support us. I know that this is... probably the weirdest call you've ever gotten but... I just wanted to... nevermind. I'm not really good at this."

"Anyways... the reason I wish I was there with you right now is... I just can't stop thinking about earlier... how perfect you were, and always are. The way you sucked my cock and swallowed every last drop. The way your thighs framed my head while I ate you out, and the sweet taste of your pussy — I can still fucking taste it. And the way you rode me into oblivion, fuck — I'm getting hard just talking about it. Honestly, I've had a massive boner the whole night... actually, I wonder if I could just..." there's a sound of metal clinking, and the shifting of clothes.

"Ah, fuck," he sighs, "I can't believe I'm doing this here, but I need you so bad right now."

"Do you have any idea what you do to me?" He says over the phone, his tone is different, dropped down more octaves and his breathing is noticeable. The sound of skin slapping is audible. "I wanna fuck you so bad right now. I wish I was there fucking you instead of sitting on my ass over here, just waiting to die. I want you to ride me again. The way your tits bounce up and down is so fucking sexy. I want to bite your fucking nipples too, so hard that you scream my name and beg me to stop. I love it when you beg me. Like that time I edged you, eating you out and fingering you, until you started crying and whining for me to let you come already, or just fuck you. Shit — ah — wanna hit it from the back, too. Your ass is so fucking sexy from behind. I would grip your hair and push your face into the pillows. We would just fuck, and fuck, and fuck..."

Suddenly, there's loud footsteps. Loud enough that you could hear them from the over the phone. Then the sound of a slam, like a door shutting loudly.

"Fuck me, already? Give it a fucking rest... hah — I think one of those robots just saw my dick, babe. Good, it might shoo them away for the night... kinda shocked I didn't get blue balls from that. Maybe I like being watched. Maybe we'll get one of my friends to come over and watch us. You could put on a real show for them, yeah? Maybe I'll let them take a turn on you... I'm just kidding, I'd never share you with anyone."

"...back to what I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted... I want to stick my cock inside you as soon as I get home. Maybe even while you're asleep. Maybe I'll wake you up by eating your pussy. But for now, I just can't stop thinking about fucking you. The way you feel around me is like my own personal heaven. And the way you clench so it fits tighter, even though you deny it, it's so fucking hot.. and.. and.."

His breathing gets more labored. But there's a banging sound on the door. However, Mike keeps going.

"They're here, you know, but fuck, I'm so close. I wish you picked up — fuck, you could be there to help me. Your voice is all I need to come. You could make me spill with just one sentence, you know that? Fuck, fuck, fuck — no!"

A loud crashing sound resounds over the phone. It's the sound of a door breaking. And then the call cuts off.

You listen to that call the next day, at least a hundred times. You touched yourself to it the first time, but the end made you stop. It haunted you. You clung onto it as closure for what the hell happened to your boyfriend, and why he didn't come home last night.

#mike schmidt #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf smut #fnaf x reader #mike schmidt x reader

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jeonqkooks · 1 year

Text

kyoho | ksj

You love your grape boy, and your grape boy... well, he might just love you a little too much.

pairing: seokjin x f!reader

rating: pg13

genre/warnings: established relationship, swearing bc when is there no swearing in my fics, mentions of seggs, suggestive themes, fluff, crack?? idk, my brand of fics is Unedited y'all know that's how we roll

word count: 1.8k

notes: i've been buying a lot of grapes lately (am i a grape person now??) and i've been eating them almost every day and of course i had to think about grape jinnie my beloved, my ultimate favorite seokjin and i want him to come back to me :((( idk that's how this lil thang came to me lmao it's the most crackhead shit i've ever written sOoOoOoOo please laugh or else ! 👿 jk but not really

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

"If you do this, we're done."

"Y/N."

"I swear, if you go through with this, we are over!"

Seokjin sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, clearly not expecting you to be so passionate about the subject at hand. "The appointment is in an hour," he says.

"Cancel it. I don't care!" you cry. "Please don't do this. Don't take him away. He means the world to me."

Your boyfriend stares at you, mouth agape, then points to his head incredulously. "Him? My hair?"

"Yes!" You crawl over to his side of the couch to straddle his lap, actual tears welling in your eyes. You run your fingers through his hair, marveling at how soft and silky it feels in your hands. His gorgeous, gorgeous purple locks. The ones he's ready to sacrifice in favor of half blond, half red hair by demand of one Jeon Jungkook.

You shouldn't be this upset over him dyeing his hair, but you are, despite knowing full well that the purple will be gone soon anyway. His dark roots are starting to show already.

It's shark week, and there are not enough words in the dictionary to express how devastated you are that he's taking away your emotional support Grape Jinnie.

A couple months ago, when he told you that he'd be dyeing his hair purple, you were highly skeptical of the decision. You didn't know if he had the face to pull off purple of all colors, even though you had already seen him sport every other color of the rainbow and absolutely rocked every single one.

The whole week leading up to his salon appointment, you teased him endlessly - started calling him Grape Boy, bought him box after box of Kyoho grapes, photoshopping Kylie Jenner's purple hair onto his head and making it your lockscreen... It was mostly just grape puns, you were really milking that whole thing.

But then he came home, hair freshly bleached and colored, and your jaw dropped to the ground and stayed there for ten whole minutes.

Your eyes almost fell out of their sockets from how good he looked.

No, he didn't just look good. He was stunning, breathtaking, mindbogglingly beautiful and all the other synonyms that one could name.

The man fucking ate and left no crumbs.

That night was one of the best sex you two have ever had.

To say that you were obsessed with this shade on him is the understatement of the year.

"Don't do it," you plead. "If you really love me, you won't do it."

"You're being so dramatic. It's just hair." Seokjin puts his hands on your waist while you keep yours on his head, clutching his strands like a lifeline. "Plus, I have to honor the bet!"

Your expression turns stony then, as your eyes travel from the silky purple down to his face. You tighten your grip on his hair and tug on it sharply until your boyfriend is scowling in discomfort.

The bet. The stupid fucking bet he made with Jungkook.

You had explicitly told him there no chance in hell that he could win, but Seokjin could be an overly confident asshole sometimes.

He was in way over his head, and now you're the one suffering.

"You idiot," you hiss, pulling on his hair again, "why the fuck did you think you could do more pushups than Jungkook?"

"I don't know! We were tipsy and it seemed possible at the time!"

Releasing his hair, you tuck your face into the crook of his neck and inhale deeply.

"Why am I being punished for your actions?" you mumble against his skin, then you ask, voice full of futile hope. "What if you just... don't do it?"

"Then I have to buy him a new mattress. He cut his mattress with scissors to make it fit into his bed frame and now it's all fucked up."

You give yourself a minute to think. There has to be a solution to your distress. You just gotta think. Think, brain, think!

And then you remember. Seokjin is still a man.

You lean back to look at him properly, straightening your position on his lap. You give him your biggest puppy dog eyes before you say, "I promise I will blow you every day from now on if you keep the hair."

If he was drinking water, you're fairly certain that he would've choked. Your boyfriend's eyes widen in surprise, his skin turning a dozen shades warmer, blushing from his cheeks all the way to the top of his ears.

Bingo.

"What?" he asks, like this is something so scandalous.

You lean forward to pepper kisses all over his face, putting more weight on your offer. "I promise," you say, pecking his cute cheek, "to blow you," then his forehead, "every single day," then his nose, "from now on," and finally his lips.

You linger near his mouth, not pulling away just yet. Your lips brush against his once more until you feel his hands tighten on your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck to hold him closer as you press forward, giving him a proper kiss to seal the deal.

Seokjin practically melts underneath you. Victory is so close that you can taste it. You're doing this for the greater good of mankind, for Grape Jinnie. Jungkook can fuck off with his half seasoned, half fried bullshit.

But then, Seokjin abruptly rips away from you to shriek, nearly blowing your eardrums out. The suddenness of his movements almost make you tumble off the couch.

"No, don't try to tempt me! Mattresses are expensive as fuck!"

It's been a few hours. He should be back any minute now.

Ever since Seokjin left to go to his hair appointment after having to peel you off of him because you were clinging to his body like a goddamn koala, you've been wallowing in your misery. You even busted out the big guns - Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream (with real peanut butter cups!) - to help you through this difficult time.

You're in full grieving mode now. Goddamnit. Fate is a cruel mistress.

Or in this case, Jungkook. Jungkook is a cruel mistress. That fucking guy.

When you hear the door open and the subsequent clanging of Seokjin's keys as he hangs them on one of the hooks in the entryway, you prepare to give him the biggest pout you can manage.

But then, he comes into view a few seconds later, and you gasp. You actually gasp. Before he knows what's happening, you're rising from the couch and sprinting toward him, launching into his arms with the biggest smile on your face like a kid on Christmas morning.

"You're still a grape!" you squeal joyously.

Seokjin lets out a surprise Oof! at the sudden force of your body knocking the breath out of him.

"What a warm welcome," he mutters. "I don't think you've ever been this happy to see me."

"What happened?!" you ask, eyes wide, grin even wider. "Did you change your mind because you love me so much?"

You run your hands through his hair to make sure that it's real, that you're not hallucinating this because you just love the purple so goddamn much.

And it is! It's still here! His hair is still that luscious shade of purple that you adore with your entire being.

Seokjin eyes you for a moment before he says, "I compromised with Jungkook. Did something else instead."

"What did you do?"

"I got a tattoo."

"You what?!"

"He said I wouldn't have to dye my hair if I got a tattoo of his choosing."

"Oh, no," you try to sound sympathetic but fail miserably. You cover your mouth with your hand to hide your smile, already sensing the absolute crackhead chaos that will ensue in a matter of minutes. Having been friends with Jungkook for years, you know that dude comes up with the craziest shit sometimes.

Seokjin turns around and pulls up his shirt, and you almost die from the fit of ugly snorting laughter that immediately rips itself free from your mouth. His skin underneath the transparent cling film is still slightly red, but the letters adorning the expanse of his lower back is clear as day.

You cannot find it in yourself to blink, not when the black ink is just staring at you like that. The font, so formal and classic, and yet the content of it... what a contrast.

"Kim Seokjin!" you wheeze, wiping tears from your eyes and struggling to catch your breath. "How could you possibly think that this is a better idea than to just dye your hair!"

"You begged me to keep the hair!"

"I did," you agree, clutching your stomach as giggles continue wracking through your whole body. It's almost painful at this point. "But I don't want my boyfriend to have a tramp stamp that says fucking Chicken in Times New Roman!"

"It was either this," he says, turning back to face you, "or a sketch of his head on a chicken's body."

"What is up with him and chickens? Is that his new thing now?"

"I don't fucking know!"

"Well, thank you for doing that for me," you say appreciatively as you pull him in for a kiss, which isn't very graceful because you're still tittering the whole time. "But please tell me that's not permanent."

Seokjin stays quiet, his eyes dropping to the floor, and you stop laughing immediately.

"Oh my god," you say. "Is the Chicken tramp stamp permanent?!"

"No," he finally admits after a moment of hanging it over your head. As funny as the whole thing is, you do not want the love of your life to walk around sporting the most ridiculous tattoo in human history. "It's supposed to fade after a month."

You lean into him again, heaving a giant sigh of relief and wrapping your arms around his neck. One of your hands go for his hair again, weaving through the soft locks with your fingers because how could you not? "I love you, Grape," you say, pecking his cheek with a grin.

Seokjin rolls his eyes affectionately, but returns a peck to your own cheek. "I have a tramp stamp of the word Chicken and my parents might disown me for that, but at least you get to keep your Grape Boy," he says, making you giggle again.

"Because you love me so much, right?"

"Hmm. You're lucky I do."

You give him another kiss, one full of gratitude, for indulging your antics. When you move to return to the couch, Seokjin tugs on your wrist, pulling you back into him.

"Now correct me if I'm wrong," he says, acting all coy and shit, "but I recall you making me a promise earlier, no? What was it again?"

543 notes · View notes

lemonandlime22 · 1 year

Note

I loved what you wrote for the brothers' reaction if the MC's baby called them dad. But let's go back in time a little, what would be the brothers' relationship with the MC's water bursting.

I thought of them all together in the living room or having dinner when that happens, but if you prefer I would love the situation being individual as well!

Thank you for your attention and have a nice day :)

Brother reaction to Mc's water braking

Warning(s): Mc is implied to be afab but still gn, cussing

A/N: Decided to kinda to a mix of individual and general hcs. I did a lot of googling for this lmao. The post anon is talking bout is here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So yall were having dinner like any normal day

nothing rly noteworthy happened before dinner

the family fought as per usual-

though, throughout your pregnancy, the fighting has been dialed back a bit, thanks to Luci.

-and you had felt less sluggish than usual so doing your exercises was p easy

and your due date was almost 2 weeks away

so you had nothing to worry about.

Until you did.

In the middle of taking a bite, you felt a liquid drip down your leg-

at first you thought you might have urinated on yourself, your bladder had physically gotten smaller so it wouldn't have been the first time this had happened

but when you got up to excuse your self to the restroom

you felt a dull but very noticeable ache and pressure around your pelvis area

It then finally clicked that you were going into labor..

Joy...

"Mc? are you alright dear? you know you shouldn't stand for too long you'll end up sore again" Asmo said next to you, catching the attention of his brothers.

Taking a deep sigh, you slowly pushed your chair in and with careful slow steps, started walking toward the hospital bag near the entrance hall that had been prepared a month before hand.

Right before you got to the dining room exit, you replied, "...I'm pretty sure my water broke.." mumbling just loud enough for the group to hear. The dull pain had slowly been getting worse, and you wanted to focus on your breathing to hopefully help manage it.

The room was quiet for a moment before bursting into expected chaos...

Lucifer

Lucifer may look like he's calm, but on the inside, he is losing his absolute shit.

He's calming his brothers down and instructing them on what to do

he is also one of the brothers that will try to help you walk to the car and into the hospital.

If he's the father he might actually start crying

doesn't want to but he might.

If he's not he's still going to help you as much as he's able, also equally stressed either way.

After the baby's born he and a few of his other brothers will go back home to make sure the nursery is ready.

Mammon

Mammon's job is to get the/his car ready and out front to drive everyone to the hospital.

He is probably the most visibly panic-y

may or may not have knocked over a tree trying to get the car out front as fast as he could.

If he's the father he is 100% sobbing all throughout the labor, more than you, but its mostly happy excited tears, extremely nervous.

If he's not then he's more so excited, he's about to be godfather! this is not your choice, as soon as he became your friend he demanded that he was the child's godfather/uncle.

Was one that went to help with the nursery, but he had to be dragged out.

Levi

Levi was in charge of getting you more blankets and pillows for the hospital, along with some books for afterwords and the rest of the time at the hospital.

Also very visibly panicked, but trying to hide it terribly.

If he's the father, he'll do his job as fast as possible to he can be by your side, kinda kicks into General of the Devildom Navy mode a lil bit.

If he is not da father, he'll be more nervous and probably drop a lot of the things he's trying to carry cause of it.

Satan

Satan's job was to help you walk to the car/into the hospital

he would never admit it but Luci trusts him the most to be gentle and calm with you in this type of situation.

He is actually the calmest about this.

He'll offer to carry you but if you decline he'll settle for having your arm around his shoulders so he can support your weight.

If he is the father, he will be scary calm, and try to distract you from the pain the best he can while holding your hand all the way through.

If not, then he's still quite calm and doing his best to take some stress off your shoulders.

Asmo

Asmo was to call everyone else and let them know about what was going on.

He is far more excited than nervous

practically jumping up and down as he tells everyone.

If he's the father, scratch jumping up and down, mans is straight up bouncing off the walls, can barely get out a

"Babys here!"

before hanging up.

Like Levi he wants to get his job done as fast as he can to be with you.

If he's not then he'll still be very excited, he'll be blabbing on all about the baby forever to everyone he calls.

Beel

Beel's in charge of carrying the things you need for the hospital, the overnight bag, the hospital bag, and food for after labor.

The look on his face is very stern but he is panicking like all hell

probably the most nervous about yours and the baby's health.

If he's the father, fuck Satan- he is carrying you in one hand and all the bags in the other

his fear is 110% worse.

If he's not he'll still be very scared, he'll hover around you tho, even weeks after your out of the hospital.

Also another one that goes back home to help with the nursery, may have hidden some snacks in there for you.

Belphie

He helps Levi get with getting pillows and blankets for you.

He looks like he's about pass tf about, but can't he's rly nervous, refuses to admit it tho.

If he's the father, he'll have Beel be with you when he can't, but he's so excited and refuses to sleep

will make his brothers slap him as hard as they can if he does.

If he's not, he will still try to stay awake to help you but will probably pass out once he knows everything is alright.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#obey me #obey me baby #obey me hc #obey me brothers #obey me boys #obey me lucifer #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me x gn!reader #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphegor #obey me fluff #obey me headcannon #obey me shall we date

626 notes · View notes

someidiot-withadhd · 3 months

Text

so, I’ve had a day to think about what happened, and this is all my thoughts together in one place

first, THAT WAS AMAZING? WAOH!! EVERYONE DID SO GOOD YESTERDAY AND IT WAS AMAZING TO WATCH I WAS IN SHOCK!

Second, the island reset was absolutely unexpected, but it added so much to the story! The whole reset of the island, the federation trying to get rid of everything, and start anew(it might not be the federation, but still) IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA!! It correlates with the beginning of the server, when the run down buildings were still present, but disappeared one day.

SUNNY AND SLIME!!! THEY MET! IT WENT EVEN BETTER THAN I EXPECTED!!! I knew they would be friends, but THE SMALL BITS OF DRAMA THAT WERE SPRINKLED INTO THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS AMAZING!!!!!

Cellbit and Roier’s characters were amazing! Phil and Slime did a great job on the side quest they received, and I need more interactions with those four.

Charlie and Tubbo’s relationship is surprisingly accurate to real parents. Tubbo: “Do you know where sunny is”

Charlie: “I was about to ask you”

Tubbo: “Shit”

They’re just like my parents lmao

I don’t remember much from the end of Charlie’s stream, but I do remember dry sobbing as I clicked onto tubbo’s stream, and then collapsing when I saw him still doing the bit. I know it was a joke, BUT IT ACTUALLY TOOK SOMETHING OUT OF ME THAT I CAN NEVER GET BACK…

so many fic ideas popped into my head while watching this, but I can’t remember most of them…

I wonder if the ruined buildings from the start will be anything related to what’s happening now! Has this happened before? How many times will it happen again! (Will everyone have to eat just rabit meat when they first spawn in again like before?)

AND CUCURUCHO IS DEAD? I HAVENT BEEN WATCHING THE QSMP STREAMS BUT WHATT???????????? WHAT THE HELL? IM GONNA CRY WHEN JAIDEN FINDS OUT!! at least Osito is still here :(

this is was a win for pissa fans, fitpac fans and everyone. WE GOT THE KISSES YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, season one of the Qsmp was amazing, and I’m going to go insane without it for the next week.

#qsmp #qsmp slimecicle #q!slimecicle #slimecicle #qsmp tubbo #q!tubbo #qsmp sunnysideup #sunnysideup the egg #qsmp cucurucho #qsmp census bureau #qsmp osito bimbo #qsmp jaiden #jaiden animations #qsmp reset #LIKE ACTUALLY THIS IS SO COOL #qsmp sunny #qsmp chunky duo #qsmp fitpac #qsmp death duo

111 notes · View notes

slytherinshua · 1 year

Text

Quokka?

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ genre and tags: fluff. felix as a dad. han makes an appearance. pregnancy fic(?). baby stuff lol. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ warnings: uhh adorable baby stuff and some kisses. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ pairing: felix x fem!reader. ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ summary: adorable fluff with felix as a dad, ft. han ♡ ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ wc: 1.7k ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ a/n: i hath risen from the depths of my 2 week hiatus and brought you this lmao. the first part of this had been written for a long time and it was just rotting in my drafts waiting for me to finish it. the title is shit btw. enjoy! ♡

“It’s fine. I’m fine. Everything’s fine.” You whispered as you tried your best not to hyperventilate. Your body shook slightly as you sat on the bathroom floor. Tears stained your cheeks and your nerves kept spiking up again every few minutes.

The little blue and white test that you held in your hand was the source of it all. Or maybe it was the 2 red lines it showed. Or the baby that you were now aware was growing in your womb. Or the fact that this was all happening while Felix was away for a short time due to promotions.

You two had always wanted to have kids, but there was no guide you could read to feel ready enough to be pregnant, or be good parents.

It might have been the worst or best time to find out. You were so overwhelmed with everything, but despite that you felt so so happy.

You had just come home from the most stressful day at work, and had not seen Felix for almost a month. But the joy you felt underneath your nerves was just what you needed to feel a bit better.

The past month had been all sorts of overwhelming, but nothing compared to this moment. It felt surreal that your life was about to change forever.

Your phone started ringing and the beginning of “Cause I Like You” echoed through the bathroom.

You looked down at your phone, seeing the screen display his contact. Your eyes widened. You hurriedly grabbed the phone from off the floor and answered it, holding it up to your ear.

“Hey Love!” His voice sounded like music from the other side of the phone, a much needed comfort amidst your anxiety.

“Hi baby.” You breathed. "You're okay", your brain told you over and over again, and you started believing it now that you could hear his voice.

“Did you miss me?” He asked cutely. Thankfully, the phone didn’t pick up uneven breaths or slight sniffling from all the crying..

“Way too much.” You smiled, feeling a million times better in just 10 seconds, and all because of talking to him.

“Aww, baby… I’ll be back in 3 weeks… it’s not that long.” He said, and you could tell from his voice that he was trying to convince himself of the fact too.

“We can last 3 more weeks… I have a surprise for when you get back actually.”

“Really?” You could hear his voice perk up in excitement, before dropping slightly again, “But I told you not to get me anything.” The pout in his voice was very clear and you couldn’t help but giggle.

“This one was a bit unplanned.”

“Hm…” He hummed, “Can I have a hint?”

“Nope~ You’ll just have to wait, my love.”

“Fine.” He sighed. “I have to go… but I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Mhm~ Love you…” You sighed, missing him like hell.

“I love you too. Stay safe, okay? I’ll be back in your arms soon. Bye!!”

“Bye!”

“I love you~!” He sang as he hung up, making you smile again.

You looked down at the little gift box you held in your hands. It had the pregnancy test in it along with a baby onesie and baby bottle. There was no way he wouldn’t get the message from this. You just needed to give it to Felix once he walked through the door in 5 minutes. Easy, right?

The morning sickness had set in a couple days ago, but you tried to not mention it until Felix knew you were pregnant. He would be so worried about you if he knew you were throwing up and feeling sick without knowing the reason.

The doorbell chimed and you stood up immediately, setting the gift box down and going to the door. There he stood on the other side of it, the brightest smile on his face.

“I’m back~” He giggled.

He pulled you into his arms immediately, kissing your cheek and swaying from side to side. You sighed and hugged him tighter, the feeling of having him back in your arms was better than anything else.

“I missed you soooo much… I just wanted to be back with you all that time.” He pouted and you pressed a kiss right on the pout.

“Me too…”

Once he had gotten food and settled on the couch, you grabbed the gift box.

“Remember the surprise I told you about?”

He looked up from his muffin, eyes wide with excitement. You handed over the little box and sat back down beside him. He cracked his knuckles in anticipation, making you giggle.

“Just open it.” You urged.

He didn’t need to be told twice, as he lifted the lid off of the box, revealing the baby things. He picked up the test, and bottle. You noticed his hands start to shake slightly and the recognition dawn on his face immediately.

He turned to you, eyes teary, “You’re pregnant?”

You nodded softly, starting to tear up as well just from seeing him emotional. He pulled you close into a hug, struggling to stop the tears from flowing down his face.

“I love you.” You whispered into his ear, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He nodded, sniffling and wiping his eyes.

You laughed, “You’re such a baby. I didn’t expect you to get so emotional.”

“I’m gonna be a dad, how could I not get emotional?” He croaked, and broke down again in tears.

“Cutie…” You whispered, not being able to help the smile that stayed prominent on your face. You loved him so much.

“Are you sure you’re okay?? Do you want water?” Felix continued to ask while you two set up the nursery together. He wanted to do it by himself and let you rest, but how could you not want to decorate as well?

“I’m fine, don’t worry about us.” You smiled, opening up another box filled with baby things.

Felix smiled at you, eyes filled with so much love for you and his daughter that you were carrying. You were almost 34 weeks and your baby bump was very visible. Felix thought it was the most precious thing in the world. He would talk to the bump all the time, and singing to it was one of his favourite things to do.

Finishing up the nursery was more fun than you expected. And when surrounded by adorable baby things, it was hard to fight back the smiles and excitement for when she finally arrived.

Once everything was finished, there was an added bookshelf with children’s stories on it, paintings on the wall, stuffed animals, pillows, a soft rocking chair, and a consistent theme of Teddy Bears. The walls and furniture all matched as well, everything going together in soft brown tones with a scattering of pinks and greens.

“Do you like your room?” Felix asked, kneeling down so he was in level with your stomach. “I think it looks cute… Just like you and your mom.” He pulled up his your oversized sweatshirt and kissed your tummy softly, making you smile.

“I’ll be back in 2 days, are you sure you’ll be okay with Quinn?” You couldn’t help but feel bad that you had been called on a business trip with little warning.

“It’ll be fine, love. We’ll have fun without mummy, right Quinn?” She paid no attention to his words, too immersed in playing with his fingers. “See, we’ll be fine.” Felix smiled.

“Okay. I’ll get going then.” You gave Quinn a kiss on the forehead and Felix a kiss on the lips before stepping out of the house as Felix waved goodbye.

He hummed, taking Quinn over to the kitchen and setting her down on the counter as he took out food from the fridge to make dinner. As long as Quinn had her stuffed bear, Waffle, she was content.

“Dada?” She smiled, looking at him with doe eyes, and his heart melted at the sight.

“Yes baby?” He hummed.

Incoherent babbling followed out of Quinn’s mouth, and Felix nodded along.

“Mhm… You’re so right.” He cooed, eyes full of love whenever Quinn tried to have a conversation with him. She had only learned a couple of words so far, but they could get the attention of Felix anytime.

Soon after Felix put food in the oven, his phone rang. He picked it up, smiling as he read the caller ID. Jisung had called.

“Hi!” [ . . . ] “Mhm! we’re doing well… Y/n’s just gone on a business trip so I have her allllll to myself.” He smiled widely, making Quinn giggle.

“You’re free? You should come over… Can’t keep up that ‘favourite uncle’ status if you don’t come over, now can you? Chan hyung might overtake you~” Felix teased, soon hanging up the phone and turned his full attention back to Quinn.

“The Quokka is coming~~” He sang, patting Quinn’s hair softly.

“Qui…kka?” Quinn tried, drawing Felix’s attention as he looked at her with visible heart-eyes.

“Quo…kka.” He sounded out.

“Quo…kka?”

“You got it!! My baby is so smart, aren’t you?” He praised, scrunching up his nose and giving her a nose kiss.

“Quokka!” She said excitedly, making Felix smile wider. She kept repeating it amongst giggles and kisses as the two waited for Han to come over.

A knock was soon heard, eliciting giggles from both of them. Felix went to answer it, but was swiftly ignored as soon as Jisung spotted Quinn standing in the middle of the living room with Waffle.

He came over to her, immediately picking her up in his arms, both of them smiling widely. She went to grab his cheeks, and Jisung giggled.

“She learned a new word just now.” Felix said, leaning on the counter smiling at the two of them. “Baby, do you want to tell uncle Han what you learned?”

“Quokka!” She exclaimed excitedly, making Jisung’s eyes go wide. He turned to Felix, in disbelief that he just heard the word Quokka come from Quinn’s mouth. Felix’s face held a giant grin and he laughed as he saw Jisung almost tear up.

“My lovely, adorable, baby!!” He let out, making her giggle as he sniffed back his proud tears.

“I think you might keep that favourite uncle status.” Felix said proudly, checking on the food in the oven.

“The members will get so jealous when I tell them!” Jisung said excitedly, making Felix laugh.

It was safe to say that Quinn was adored by everyone.

515 notes · View notes

moodymisty · 4 months

Note

Hello, Mortarion simp club member #7 here. First off, sorry for the fungus.

Secondly, imagine word getting to The Emperor that Mortarion had found a partner. None of the primarchs ever got married (except for Fulgrim) so I’d imagine it’d be big news. To find out that any of his sons, let alone shit-bag himself, found someone to love would shake him to his core.

Now, I am a very small woman so it might just be projecting, but just imagining The Emperor of Mankind staring you down and shaking his head like,

“This is inhumane. It’s almost comical, how absurd this is. How have you not been ripped in half, or accidentally crushed underfoot?”

I know deep in my soul that Morty would be the most gentle of the primarchs because he’s never had anyone be gentle with him before. That man would start sobbing immediately if he so much as accidentally bumped into you. Full on ‘please don’t leave me’ breakdown if he hurts you in any way.

The fungus is amungus.

Honestly given the way that the Emperor thinks of Mortarion as sort of a failure among his 'sons', and has just abandoned any possibility of him achieving greatness, him accomplishing something so 'odd' would definitely get a query or two. This behavior sounds more like Sanguinius or Fulgrim, not Mortarion.

Also the Emperor saying that it's 'inhumane' fucking killed me. I don't know why him saying that in response to one of the Primarchs picking up a lover is so fucking funny but also kind of accurate? I mean, pulling a normal human into what is basically a small pantheon of demigods isn't exactly a good idea. Not to mention the dangers involved that you could go on about for hours. Both being around and with a Primarch. It's less that The Emperor would ever care about a singular human, but he more so just finds the absurdity of it, amusing. Or as amusing as someone like him can.

I definitely think out of all the (future) heretic Primarchs, Mortarion, Fulgrim, Magnus, and Lorgar would probably both be the most gentle. He's also horrifically damaged (which Primarch isn't lmao) and has a slew of self image issues. He might not cry, but he'll sure as hell give you the stars as long as you don't drop to the wayside like everyone else in his life. You're the figurative jewel of his eye, and nothing will take you away from him.

He loves you, you love him, it's awful and harmful and will probably end terribly but damn does it taste good.

Also, a snippet to go with this. Enjoy.

Mortarion/Fem!Reader, No extreme warnings apart from typical 40kness and hinting at a toxic, obsessive relationship. I'm actually really coming around to liking Morty, if I never get a chance I really want to write some of my personal ideas for him

That meeting still lingers on your mind. You look out the window and wring your hands, trying to figure out why your heart continues to pound so hard against your chest. When it doesn't stop, you sit down and fail to try and stop your mind from running it through once again.

You met The Emperor.

You met the father- or simply creator as some of the Primarchs refer to him- to the Primarch you could possibly call your beloved.

It had been a surprise meeting; You were already so worn and tired from speaking to Primarch Fulgrim, shoulders tense and mind strained. While you might be close to Mortarion, being in the presence of Primarchs is still such an intense and formal ordeal, that forces you to carefully watch your words, your tone, your body language.

Just as The Phoenician seemed to be getting bored of you, as you kept politely avoiding giving him any worthwhile and intimate details about Mortarion, The Emperor had apparently come to see the lover of his fourteenth son; The first of them to ever take someone that could be potentially called a consort. It has been the rumor of the palace for days now, and it's seems to have spread now even to the Golden Throne.

He only ever spoke one sentence to you. And it will likely remain the only one. You would delude yourself into thinking that you have any business with The Emperor, beyond what little falls from Mortarion's lips. Either way, his words and voice with stay within your mind for as long as you live.

He looked down on you, barely able to reach his hips, and almost seemed to sigh. As much as a man such as him could. When you dared look at him, seeing any emotion on a man so borderline ethereal seemed so out of place. Though it was only there for a moment, and then his expression turned to that non-emotion of cold stoicism.

"I should not be surprised, to see he chose someone so small they cannot think to stand against him."

You decided to keep your head respectfully bowed in his presence, but you can't help but furrow your brow ever the slightest at his cryptic speech.

"You fraternize with the most fractured of all my sons. Do be careful with him."

Did he mean to be careful around him? Or to be careful with him? How could someone that in the grandness of things, as insignificant as you, be able to do either?

You pull yourself from being lost in your own thoughts and look out over the palace skyline, seeing nothing but golden peaks as far as the eye can see. It's inconceivable in size, that just viewing it doesn't give even the slightest hint as to it's sheer scale. And from what little you've heard, it's not even close to it's completion. New Praetorian Rogal Dorn has been continuing it's construction for years now, and will likely continue for decades more.

The soft sound of a door opening forces you to look towards it. Mortarion enters, and instantly comes closer. You haven't seen him since you had first encountered Fulgrim. You assume he had more urgent matters than batting away his fellow Primarchs away from the new thing of interest.

Your face softens as he comes closer, seeing his shoulders rolled forward slightly. The way he looks is a dead giveaway that he is in a terrible mood; Not uncommon whenever his so called brothers are involved. You assume that he is going to want a moment alone, and get up to take your leave. You'd heard nothing but his lamenting about hating the idea of returning to Terra for days now, but it seems you're wrong.

Before you have a chance to step away and leave the massive room that serves as the most private of his chambers, Mortarion quickly snatches your arm at the wrist. Though given the size of his hand in comparison to yours, his hand grasps a significant portion of your forearm.

"Do not leave."

You look at him, the way his grey hair shadows his thin face, and how he seems even more drained of energy. He towers over you, but yet he seems almost ungainly and defeated.

The Pale King orders you, but his words are almost dipped in something you might consider calling desperation.

He has told you before that interacting with his fellow Primarchs and The Emperor foremost is something he hates most. That it all reminds him of stolen revenge and his dead world, how he's overcast by the shadows of men like Sanguinius and Horus. You knew he would be more fragile, harder to deal with, but you didn't expect him to seem almost, humiliated. You're used to him being impossible to contend with, spiteful, hateful, angry; Not this.

His hand grips tighter when you don't immediately come back, enough that it begins to hurt. You sit back down and he lets go, only to cup his hand tightly around your jaw. He tilts your head up to look at him. It hurts your neck a bit from the intense angle, and your much smaller hands grip his wrist to try and gain leverage.

You watch his eyes glance over your face, his own slum and demoralized. His grip on your face softens just a bit so he isn't yanking you around like some sort of doll. At least not as much.

He sighs, and leans down enough so that his forehead touches yours, long strands of limp grey hair brushing against your face, and nothing more is said.

#I put sons in quotes because Emps has made it very clear that he does not see them as his children let alone as anything more than tools #mortarion simp club meetup #mortarion x reader #primarch x reader #warhammer 40k x reader #reader insert #reader #mywriting

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kaymarie-bell · 5 months

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TWST Book 7 Chapter 6 spoilers and reactions ahead

You know, through all the updates people have been wondering "where is OB Malleus? is he seeing the dream too? why is he not interfering despite our group being 'awake'? does he even know about all of this?" it might seem crazy what I'm about to say-

This update started with a banger giving us Baul knighting Sebek and giving him an armor that's just like his after fighting off the Silver Owls together

Btw I'm currently on a mission of stealing all the gel in NRC to keep Sebek from putting his hair up again. If you care.

Silver carrying an injured Lilia on his back while Yuu and Grim look after the egg instead of leaving him behind like he asked. I'm ok I'm ok.

Sebek got to show off his UM training. I'm so proud of him 🥹

They killed my hot wife.

Fighting as Meleanor vs The Knight of Dawn felt so sick and twisted knowing what the outcome was.

FUCK THE SENATE. TF YOU MEAN "Filthy bat" "Don't touch Malleus" "get out of the capital and don't show up here again" I'm genuinely upset, what the fuck leave Lilia alone 😭

Maleficia's magic was not helping with hatching the egg, and touch and love is more effective so of course the responsibility falls on Lilia. Huh, who would've thought-

Lilia and the egg communicating. Did y'all see that. Is anyone else being totally normal about it.

Meleanor knew what she was doing when she left her child to Lilia.

Also what do you mean his own grandmother couldn't provide him the love he needed to hatch? 👀

Lilia's numerous travels around the world were all to find something to help hatch the egg. And he got discriminated against by both humans and fae everywhere oh I'm so sick-

Egg!Malleus feeling lonely even before hatching. Lilia being the only one who hears him crying. Lilia running to him despite it being dangerous. 😭

HE DISCOVERED HIS SIGNATURE SPELL WHILE SEARCHING FOR A WAY TO HATCH THE EGG. THE SPELL THAT BEST REFLECTS THE ESSENCE OF HIS SOUL IS THE ONE HE USES FOR BOTH MALLEUS AND SILVER. Shaped like a father fr.

Oh so the egg seems to gain strength only whenever Lilia shows up around it? What a coincidence I wonder what could this mean

Lilia's VA did a phenomenal job. I started ugly crying too. The 200 years were worth it to Lilia 😭😭😭

*Silver voice* I'm sure we were all wondering, "if these dreams are supposed to be happy then why have we seen nothing but pain and suffering so far?" well, it turns out Malleus being born is his happiest moment in life.

not a single thought behind that baby's eyes (he's 1 minute old)

Leona was right he sure *is* a lizard

not the senate suddenly praising Lilia as a hero 😒 I haven't forgotten what y'all said earlier.

Oh shit OB!Malleus is back. I got so caught up in the euphoria of seeing Malleus' birth that for a moment I forgot about overblots.

Malleus has his mom's looks and his dad's voice according to general Lilia

OB!Malleus is absolutely pissed at his grandma and the senate. Good for him.

Malleus offering Lilia a dream where Meleanor and Levan are alive...

If anyone is wondering "how are we supposed to win a battle against OB!Malleus?" the answer is: you don't. We only survive 😔 (for now ig)

Silver is able to secure the entire group in his arms. So normal about it haha.

SON IS BACK.

IDIA IS AWAKE LET'S GO GAMERS LMAO

we have reached 100 chapters. I can't wait to see what Idia's victory strategy is going to be

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst diasomnia chapter #diasomnia spoilers #twst jp #Malleus needing love to hatch and the only person who could provide it not being allowed to because of difference in status...I'm so sick #I can see next update being the last for this chapter #I got so happy when I saw the Shrouds I'M HYPED #imagine Idia shows up in full mecha suit next chapter #not even going to think about how he was able to wake up from his RSA Ortho dream #kay shouts into the void

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promnightbinbaby · 4 months

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Princess And The Pea

This is a little story i thought about after i put my kids to bed lmao. i never really see Theodore stories in a darker kind of way.

ima Theo girly till the day i die but i reaaaalllly cant help but dulge into Mattheo fics every now and again so i thought why not do a little bit of a poly? maybe a three-way fuck session every now and again maybe idk. just bare in mind this is my first ever fic and it might not make sense but yanoe when your falling asleep and trying to do your scenario and no one is doing what they're meant to be doing? yeah just think of that when you read it cos that's how it feels. LOL.

So this is the beginning. i always love the ideo of a possesive boyf so i wanted to see how it would go down with a possesive boyf knowing someone wants his girl, and when i read poly fics i always wonder how it first starts? like surely it doesnt go smoothly.

i also gave reader a knickname cos i like using a knickname rather than y/n cos we dont know her.

ANYWAY welcome to my first shittty fic. enjoy also follow me or ill cry.

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Pairings: Theodore Nott x Reader with the starting of Mattheo riddle x Reader

Warnings: Violence/blood.

obvs aiming for more parts which will get quite dark.

This is sort of 2010 vibes era.

PART ONE.

The Beginning.

When me and Theodore Nott began seeing each other it was in the beginning of third year. We had been friends since we first met in first year while waiting for us to be sorted into our houses, and even though i was sorted into Ravenclaw and he Slytherin we remained friends, until one day i realised how bright his eyes are, how his laugh makes butterflies erupt in my stomach and how I'm never truly happy and always feel as I'm missing something unless I'm with him. That's when i realised i was and to this day completely devoted to Theodore Nott.

When i grew the bollocks to tell him it was the day he had been avoiding me all day and came barrelling in my dorm room declaring his love for me after having his first fire whisky.

Since then we have been inseparable.

But three years have past since then and even though me and Theo are as good as ever and forever feeling like we are in our honeymoon faze, it seems like happiness doesn't last forever. Its seems like we have a rock in our shoe, named Mattheo riddle.

It started at the weekly Slytherin party, we had all been downing shots of fire whisky and I bought shitty glens vodka because that’s the only alcohol I could afford to bring to school in the new year. Me Blaise, Pansy, Theo, Mattheo, Draco and Enzo was all sat around the fire place playing 3 truths and a lie, it had all been going swimmingly until it was Mattheo’s turn.

“Right, yes yes ha ha so funny that I ended up walking around with an extremely tanned face and pale body” Enzo had the palms of his hands tightly attached to his eyes reminiscing the moment his little sister had put tanning moisturiser in his normal tub of moisturiser all because he rejected her friend. But in his defence he was 15 at the time and his sisters friend has only just turned 11 the day before.

“Yes but I can remember it like it was yesterday, I can still picture Blaises face” Draco was actually struggling to put a sentence together, both from howling with laughter and because of how much of my vodka he had drank , even though he turned his nose up at a muggles drink the first time I brought it in 4th year but he’s the one that gives me the money for it at the end of every year, even though it’s the cheapest shittiest vodka you can buy but after convincing him to taste it by telling him it’s what all the muggle billionaires drink, I can’t give up the lie now.

“Mate when I first seen him i was ready to knock the shit out of him, I really thought he was doing blackface” Blaise said rolling his eyes with his spliff hanging out of the corner of his mouth, pansy who was under his arm with her leg draped over his crotch snatched it out of his mouth with her delicate fingers, she took a long drag “yeah it was around the same time Y/N showed him Kayne, you couldn’t blame Blaise for the way he reacted Enz you really did become obsessed with Kanye”

“The man’s a lyrical legend, I’ve told smell this before but I’ve written her in my will just because I can’t see my life without him now? You know? I can’t see my life before she showed me him, it’s like I didn’t exist, like I was a…nobody”

Everyone just sat there looking at Enzo after that, i slowly looked to my side to already see Theo looking at the other side of the room with a look of anger in his face, i couldn't really see who he was looking at as the room was so Smokey. "What you looking at bear?" Theo started to pull me closer by my side bringing me into is armpit, he brought his chin to rest on my head, in a way from anyone's point of view id of looked quite stupid, looking like i was getting a whiff of Theos armpit. But he was doing this in a way to be possessive, keeping me from being seen. "Nothing smell just keeping you close, don't want you disappearing on me." He said while pulling my skirt further down my thigh.

"its your turn Mattheo, three truths and a lie" Pansy said while blowing smoke out of the corner or her mouth.

As i turned my head to get out of Theos armpit, Mattheo suddenly sat up like he was snapped out of a trance, i heard Theo grunt next to me for a second but dismissed it.

"Hm okay, my first lie would be i slept with my second cousin, my second would be i jumped into the black lake and a mermaid tried to pull my boxers down, my third is in third year i stalked Mcgonagall for 3 months until i found out her routine of when and where she would turn into her cat form so then i could kidnap her and blackmail her until she let my bring my dog next year. My forth one would be that im so fucking hopelessly in love with my mates bird that i-"

And like that the room went into a frenzy, Theo jumped up and went straight over the table instantly punching Mattheo, Blaise and Draco are up before Mattheo even finished ready to pull Theo back and Enzo is sat giggling to himself "i knew it would come out tonight, the second Matt took the pills of the twins i just knew tonight would end like this." Pansys screaming at the boys to pull him back but every time Draco gets hold of Theo he lets out an animalistic noise and go straight for Matts face again.

"You fucking piece of shit, i bloody knew it. For the past 6 month ive been noticing you staring at her like you want to eat her" Another punch. " Do you honestly think id ever let you go near her mate, your a fucking dead man sitting." Theo gets his wank out of his pocket "AV-" Blaise pulls Theo by his hair until he's laid on the floor on top the broken glass. "smell come and fucking sit on your fella before he kills him please gorgeous." Theo starts trying to get up, "why the fuck is everyone taking this as an opportunity to flirt or declare their love to my girl what the fuck."

I slowly rise from my seat, i didn't realise id totally frozen in my seat not knowing what to do, i nod my head at Blaise and start moving towards him and Theo, i glance quickly at Mattheo to see he's already staring at me, he's soaked in blood with cuts all over his face and two black eyes appearing already.

i slowly sit on Theos crotch and hear a breath hitch behind me. Theo looks at me and i just smile and move my hair behind my ear as i bend down towards his neck to whisper in his ear. "Please don't do anything stupid, lets just go to bed Bear please I'm tired anyway this weeds making me feel like shit, lets go have a shower and watch one of them dodgy DVDs yeah?"

Theos looking at me as i sit up, hes angry but not even a glint of maliciousness in his gaze is directed at me though, it never has been, he will always redirect and blame his anger on someone else other than me. "Yeah..Yeah alright lets go, shit party anyway" He says as he sits up, id not noticed how the whole room was silent, even the 4th years was stood still watching the scene unfold.

Theo stood up grabbing my hand pulling me past Draco and Enzo, they patted him on back as we walked past and Draco gave me a half arsed smile and a wink. We was walking past Mattheo just as Blaise smacked him across the top of his head "fucking idiot always like to destroy things around you."

The tip of my foot had only just touched the first step up to Theos dorm when i heard Mattheo call my name.

"y/n, please just hear me out, don't walk away from me please." My breathe cut short in my throat when hearing my name, no one calls me by my name, not even the teachers nor Dumbledore i haven't heard my name since first year after the twins pulled a joke meant for Pansy but ended up stink bombing the toilet i was sat in while skiving, i couldn't get the smell out my hair for a fortnight.

Theo suddenly let go of my hand and went straight for Mattheo again but Enzo managed to get Infront of Theo before he got to him. "You really don't get it do you, Matt, i fucking swear on mine and smells future child's name i will fucking kill you if you even breathe near her after this mate. You knew this would happen, so if you really loved her" Theo said while pulling a face of disgust at him like saying that sentence was the worst thing he's ever had to say. " You wouldn't have said anything, because you know how i am with her, you knew i wouldn't let you near her again, so if you actually love her how you seem to think you do you wouldn't have mentioned a word just so you could still be near her. But no you fucked that up now dickhead." Theo turned slightly to face Enzo "he's a fucking tosser, he aint even fucking looking at me" he said then kissed his teeth turning to walk back to me.

And he was right, Mattheo hadn't even glanced at Theo, not in shame no. Because he hadn't taken his eyes off me.

I hadn't realised i was shaking until Theo came back to me and grabbed my chin. "Come on baby lets go yeah?" i slowly nodded my head and grabbed his hand, i must have grabbed my wand at some point because once i felt it i muttered "Scourgify" under my breathe and listened to the mess being cleaned up behind me, i couldn't let Draco threaten the third years into cleaning up the mess that Theo had left behind.

#fanfic #harry potter #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x you #theodore nott x y/n #draco malfoy #blaise zabini #pansy parkinson #enzo berkshire #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader

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her-power · 4 months

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The End of All Things (Part Four: e.m. x fem reader)

TRIGGER WARNING & C/W: 18++++ MDNI!!! Sweet! Eddie, hurt/comfort, grief, talk of grief, fluff, heavy drug use, suicidal thoughts, talk of death/dying, lots of crying, lots of swearing, some smut, unprotected p+v, trauma

Part One: Denial Part Two: Anger Part Three: Bargaining

Summary: Relationships are tested, choices are made, words hurt, and you might end up kicking Eddie Munson's ass. Full plot summary is on part one of this series.

Word Count: 8.6k

A/N: I also submitted an original sketch in this part. It's been years since I have drawn something so it's not great and I fucking forgot how hard it is to draw hands and draw a person lmao but I wanted to give you guys a little added bonus to this series.

A/N #2: This part was a bit rough for me to write, but also super healing in a way. I felt like I was looking into the eyes of all of my friends as I was writing this and just remembering things after so many years since losing my mom. Part Five will be released after the holidays, I need a bit of a break to be with my family and be prepared for the griefy feels. I love you all, thank you for giving me a platform to be creative and to heal. <3

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Eddie was pacing in the break room of the record store; inhaling deeply on his cigarette as he tried to gather his thoughts. The trip back home was uneventful, you had stayed at the Inn in Philadelphia for a night again. He had noticed a change in you after the cemetery. It was subtle changes; you would be unusually quiet, but then you would snap out of it and that big, beautiful smile he loved so much would appear. You were tired a lot; Eddie had noticed the bags under your eyes as the weeks went by. He knew you weren’t sleeping. Even when he would stay in the same bed as you, he knew you only pretended to be asleep. When you thought he was asleep, he would hear you rummage around in the kitchen, or go sit out on the porch, smoking a joint.

Then it hit the two-month mark, and you were starting to terrify him. Summer was almost over, you had lost interest in things you loved to do, like painting, singing, reading. You would go to work, come home, stay awake, sleep, and then go to work again.

Eddie would try to get you to talk to him, but you would shut down, blocking out anything and everything around you.

He plops on the chair, his leg bobbing nervously, cigarette dangling out of his mouth. He stood up and started pacing again, he couldn’t sit.

Eddie had called the realtor two weeks ago; she had a kind voice and gave him useful information and advice when it came to potentially buying a house. He was also curious why there weren’t any hits on the house, it had been on the market for a while and parts of it had been redone but no one was interested in buying it. She told him it was a mystery to her as well, there was nothing aesthetically wrong with the house, the foundation was perfect, the roof was brand new, but no one seemed to care for it. The owners had lowered their price five thousand dollars under the asking price, and there was still no jump.

He had been saving money here and there for a couple years; he would call it his emergency fund. But when he had saw how you looked at your childhood home, how your eyes lit up with nostalgia and joy, he knew what he had to do.

He was doing everything in his power to get enough money for the down payment on the house; he had mentioned the plan to your father. Eddie had thought he would think he was crazy, that neither one of you could afford to live in a house, let alone a mortgage. Instead, he asked Eddie how much he needed. Eddie didn’t want anything, he told him, just support. Your father then said something to him that he will never forget.

“I have two loves in my life: my wife, and my daughter. Some people aren’t lucky enough to have that happen to them. Some dad’s leave, some do stupid shit and some die. I love my daughter with all my heart, but I don’t want her to feel stuck here. I don’t want her to worry about me or worry about what my future holds. I don’t want her to stop her life because her mother died. I’m gonna be okay. I’m going through it, and I’m always going to, but I’m okay. I’m practically an old man, I lived my life, and it was beautiful. It’s still beautiful, but I’m not gonna fully rest until I know that my daughter will be okay. And if she stays here, she won’t be.” He swallows, taking off his glasses to clean the lenses. “Now, I’m asking you how much you need not as a charity. But as a man, looking at a kid I watched grow up to become a man and fall in love with my daughter, who has been by her side through all of this. Wiped her tears, fed her, laugh with her. My daughter loved that house, and the fact that you didn’t even hesitate to call the realtor speaks volumes just what kind of man you are. You want to see her happy, and you are a big part of her happiness. I couldn’t have asked for a better man to love my daughter. I know her mother would agree. So, you’re gonna tell me a number, and I’m gonna do my best to give it to you. Don’t fight me on this.”

Eddie had almost sobbed right there; it was one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to him. He told him a number, and your father said to give him two weeks. Part of him still didn’t want to take it, but he knew if he didn’t, your father would give the whole thing to the realtor.

He had lit up another cigarette and blew his bangs out of his face. He had called you a few hours ago; you had the day off and planned on taking a nap. Eddie had told you he had found this certain type of acrylic paint you had needed and asked if he wanted to pick it up for you. You had thanked him but said no, and the rest of the phone call was uncomfortable silence.

“Munson!” Sully’s booming voice comes echoing into the break room.

Eddie sighs. “What?”

Sully peeks his head in, his large frame would intimidate most people, especially since he had an enormous throat tattoo, but Sully was a big teddy bear. He was a businessman second, and a father to two beautiful little girls first. “You good, kid?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He inhales on his cigarette and puts it out in the ashtray.

“Any word from her?” Sully was asking about you, and Eddie had told him he spoke to you a while ago. “How’s the money saving going?”

Eddie had told Sully about his plans, and he was more than onboard with it. He said he was close to the owner of the record store on Newbury St in Boston, that he had put in a good word for him, and the owner was more than happy to welcome him into the store when he was ready. The record store in Boston was two floors, both floors had rows of records, and the bottom floor had a little sound stage where locals would perform for a monthly open mic night.

Eddie had gone back on the floor with a tote of jazz vinyls, he sat in the aisle and organized the records by artist. Robin had come to visit, had sat on the floor with him, passing him each artist he asked for.

“I’m worried about her.” Robin says suddenly, looking up to meet Eddie’s eyes. Eddie glances at her and goes back to moving around the vinyls, swallowing hard.

“Me too.” Eddie says softly.

“Has she said anything? When I saw her at the Hideout last week, she looked like a walking zombie for Pete’s sake.” Robin looks up at him, he shook his head, staring at his hands, the skull ring on his middle finger. He fingers it gently. “Are you alright, man?”

“Not really.” He laughs tiredly and looks at her. “She won’t talk to me about how she’s feeling. She’ll talk to me about everything else but that.”

“What happened at the cemetery?” She asked gently.

Eddie shakes his head, running his hands over his face. “A breaking point, I think.”

“Jesus.” She mutters. “What do we do? Intervention? Get a priest? I don’t know how this shit works; I’ve never had someone close to me die before. Is there a rule book? Do we just not say anything and let her be stubborn and just slowly disappear until she’s whittled down to nothing, and we just glue her back together and tell her we love her but what if at that point it’s too late and we can’t—"

Eddie kneels in front of Robin, gently holding her face. “Hey, breathe, dude. Deep breaths.”

“I don’t want anything to happen to her.” Robin tells him quietly, her eyes filling with tears as she looks at her friend. “Why did this have to happen?”

Eddie caresses her head, gently patting her and pulls her in for a hug. “I don’t know.” He mutters. He was so tired of saying it, tired of saying he didn’t know, because it sounded so fucking simple, but it wasn’t.

“Why doesn’t she want to talk to us? We’re her friends, she shouldn’t have to suffer alone.” Robin looks up at him and he sighs, gently knocking her chin.

“I’m going over there after work. I don’t care if she hates me, I need to at least get an idea of what’s going on.” He leans back against the shelves, leaning his arms on his bent knees and Robin wipes her face.

“How are you holding up?” Eddie looks at her. “With all of this? Losing her too?”

Eddie gives her a sad smile. “Would you believe if I told you I was fine?”

“No.” She smirks at him.

“It’s a surreal feeling honestly.” He realizes he hasn’t spoken about this with anyone, even you. “The only time I ever experienced some sort of loss was when my dad went to prison, but fuck him, he can rot there for all I care. But he’s still alive, she’s not. I’m still trying to process how someone can be here one minute, living, breathing, and then just be…dead.” He shrugs, realizing he’s crying and quickly wipes his tears away, he almost laughs. “See? I don’t even notice I’m crying, it’s stupid.”

“No, it’s not.” Robin says, reaching over to squeeze his knee. “You’re going through it too.”

“Yeah, but I feel like I shouldn’t.” He sniffles, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “She wasn’t my mother.”

Robin gives him a sweet smile. “No, but she was the next best thing to you.”

He sighs, shaking his head, another tear falls down his cheek. “There’s just so much pain in her. I can feel it.”

He points to his heart, “I see how much pain she’s in and I want to take all of it, so she doesn’t have to, I’d rather suffer with it for the rest of my life, then watch someone like her go through that when she didn’t deserve it. Her mother didn’t deserve to die. I guess no one does, even the shitty ones.”

“Nah, the shitty ones deserve it.” Robin laughs and Eddie chuckles. “You really love her, huh?”

Eddie nods and he sighs, looking into her eyes. “I have to tell you something.”

Eddie tells her his entire plan, about the house, about your father helping him with some of the down payment. He told her about going to see your childhood home, how it’s been on the market since June, and no one is interested. He told her that if his plan works, he’s gonna ask you to marry him the first night you sleep in the house, and that was the first time he has said it out loud. Robin cried happy tears, followed by punching him in the arm.

“You guys are leaving me!”

“Ow!” Eddie laughs, rubbing his arm. “It’s not even set in stone yet.”

“Dude, you know it’s gonna be!” Robin smiles, pulling him in for a hug. “I’m happy for you, but I’m gonna fucking miss you, man.”

Eddie kisses the top of her head, rubbing her shoulder. “Yeah, I’ll miss you too.”

“Steve is gonna be devastated.”

“Nah he’ll be fine.” Eddie jokes. “Yeah, I know. His little boy is growing up.”

“That sounds so gross when you say it like that.”

***

Eddie had driven to your house after closing the store; your car was still in the driveway and the outside lights were on. Your father had gone to Jimmy’s for the weekend, and he had called Eddie at the store to make sure he planned on going over there. Your father didn’t say it, but he was worried about you too.

Eddie walks into the house, hearing the television playing in the living room. He peeks his head into the living and sees your form curled up on the couch, a knitted blanket over you with your hood over your head. It was freezing in the house, Eddie had saw you set the air conditioner to 60 degrees. The only source of light was from the television, it was nick at nite and I Love Lucy was playing. Eddie notices the three empty beer bottles on the coffee table, a half smoked joint, and a bottle of aspirin. He quietly clears the table, dumping out the remaining beer from the bottles in the sink and tossing them in the recycling. He washes his hands and heads back to the living room; he squats on the side of the couch where you were laying, leaning forward to kiss your cheeks softly and caress your head. You stir, opening your eyes, meeting Eddie’s and you smile softly.

“Hey baby.” Eddie says sweetly to you, rubbing your cheek.

“Hey.” Your voice is groggy, and you sit up a little, stretching. “What time is it?” You pull your hood down, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

“A little after ten. Go back to sleep, I just wanted you to know I was here.” He kisses the top of your hand, and you lean into him to kiss his lips.

“No, it’s okay, I feel like I haven’t seen you.” You lay back on the couch pillow, reaching out your hand to cup his cheek. Eddie put his hand over yours, and scans your face, he hated how tired you looked. Your hair was in a messy braid over your shoulder, you looked like you had been crying for hours before he got there.

And your eyes.

Eddie inhales a shaky breath as he looks in your eyes and sees that the light that was once there, was gone. You notice his staring.

“What?” You ask with a smile.

“Nothing.” He shakes his head, getting up and sitting next to you, lifting your legs to drape them over his lap. “I just missed you today.”

You smile, reaching over to entwine your fingers. Eddie leans his head back on the couch, gently rubbing massaging circles around your thighs as you both stare at the television.

Eddie feels you shudder under his touch, so he stops.

Apparently, you didn’t want him to stop, because the next thing that happens is you straddling him, pressing your lips to his in a passionate kiss. He holds your waist tightly and groans when you grind yourself against his jeans. You pull off your hoodie, wearing only a lace bra and you deepen the kiss again.

Talk to her, idiot! Eddie is saying to himself, and he moans in response when your teeth graze his throat. She knows exactly what she’s doing, she’s avoiding, she knows how she looks, stop kissing her and talk to her!

Eddie’s conscious screams at him but he continues to kiss you, continues to touch your skin. His skin prickles with goosebumps when your hand touches his stomach above his jeans. Your hand slides down into his pants, grasping his hard length in your hand and Eddie moans loudly.

You’re a stupid fuck! Snap out of it, dummy!

“Wait, wait, wait.” Eddie finally says breathlessly against your lips. “Stop, stop.”

You pull away from him, removing your hand as if it burned. You stare at him with confusion and concern that you may have hurt him. Eddie runs his hands over his face, leaning forward on his knees. “We need to talk.”

“Don’t like that.” You say softly, laughing a little, your heart was racing.

“No, it’s not that kind of talk.” Eddie gives you a sad smile, taking your hand in his and rubbing his thumb over your skin. “You’re starting to scare me.”

You pause, staring at his face. “What? What do you mean?”

Eddie looks at you, really looks at you. “You know what I mean.”

You pull your hand away from his and he sighs, he can already feel you pulling away, he can see it in your eyes too. “Eddie, I’m fine.”

Frustration rose in his chest, and he wants to laugh but he doesn’t, he scoffs instead. “Is that a lie you’re telling me or telling yourself? Do you really think you’re fine?”

She blinks, her eyes already widening with tears. “I’m not lying, Eddie.”

“When was the last time you ate? When was the last time you did something you actually enjoyed? Because for two months, you have been disappearing in front of my eyes.” His own tears were filling his eyes, and he blinks them away. “You need to talk to me.”

“And say what? What do you want me to say, Eddie?” You raise your voice.

“Fucking anything!” He gets up from the couch and paces. You watch him with sad eyes. “Jesus Christ; I know you’re hurting; I know you’re in pain, I can clearly see that but all I’m asking is for you to talk to me. I told you I’m here for you, but instead you’re pushing me away!”

“Okay. You want me to talk? Let’s talk.” Your bottom lip trembles as you look up at him and toss your hoodie back over your body. “Every single damn day I am praying that I don’t wake up in this life, and I wake up in the next because I am tired. I am so tired, Eddie. When I sleep, I don’t feel this fucking throbbing pain in my chest like I feel right now. When I sleep, I have dreams instead of nightmares now and I see her. I see her and she’s alive and I want to stay there. I physically cannot stand to look at myself in the mirror because of how fucked up I look. I don’t tell you these things because it’s not your fucking job to heal me, it’s no one’s job.”

Eddie stands there stunned, his fingers clench around his chest, a lump forms in his throat, and a breath escapes him. “You’re telling me, that every day you pray you don’t wake up? How the fuck do you think that makes me feel?!”

“You wanted to talk!” You snap at him. “You wanted the truth so I’m telling you!”

Tears form in his eyes as he stares at you. “Do you have any idea what that would do to me if I lost you? I mean, fuck, I feel like I’m almost there just by how you’ve been lately. It would destroy me if something happened to you. It would kill me. And you pray for that every day?”

You stand up from the couch, grabbing the joint from the table and lighting it quickly; you inhale and let the smoke billow from your nostrils. “I don’t want to die Eddie.”

“Then what the fuck are you saying to me?!” He yells, tears spilling from his eyes.

“I’m saying I don’t want to feel this pain anymore! If I could cut it out of me without bleeding out I would do it! If I could swallow a bunch of pills just to get rid of it and be okay, I would do it! I don’t want to die; I want to kill this part of me that feels all this pain and guilt and fucking grief and just be done with it!” You yell at him, hot tears stream down your face. “So yeah, I pray for it.”

Eddie runs his hands over his mouth, a small sob escaping him as he stares at you. “Why haven’t you told me this?” His voice is so full of pain, it kills you.

“Because it’s not your job to heal me.”

“It is if I want to spend the rest of my life with you!” He cries and your breath hitches. “Fuck! I want it all with you. I want you; I want the marriage, I want those babies with you, I want a fucking house in the suburbs with a damn dog! Hell, maybe even a cat. But I meant it when I said that when I look to the future, you’re in it. And right now; I feel like you’re telling me you don’t want any of that.”

“Of course, I do.” You say quietly, averting your eyes, wiping away your tears.

“I don’t think you do.” Eddie’s hand goes over his heart again, feeling it slowly break.

“You’re not inside my head, okay?” You snap at him and point to your temple. “It’s a fucking mess in here. Why would you want to be with someone for the rest of your life who can’t even take a shower? Who has a devil and angel on her shoulder, one telling her it’s okay to feel all this pain and the other telling her, grab those drugs from a few months ago! You won’t feel a goddamn thing!”

“Hold on a minute, you told me you didn’t have any left.” He was big mad; you could see it in his eyes.

“I lied.” You meet his eyes, and he lets out a laugh.

“I know exactly what you’re trying to do and hate to break it to you, sweetheart. It’s not gonna work.” He wipes his eyes and his nose. “Did you do it?”

“No.” You whisper.

“Go get it then.” Eddie sneers and you look at him like he slapped you. “If you want to do it, numb your pain that way, fucking doit. I’ll do it with you. It will be a Kodak fucking moment.”

“No. Eddie what the fu—"

“Why? You want to kill that part of yourself, right? Why don’t you kill it slowly with the drugs? Better yet, I’ll go find the guy that supplied the shit that I had, and I’ll go on a fucking ride.” He heads towards the door, tears still running down his face, his eyes wild. You follow him and grab his arm.

“Eddie, stop it! That could fucking kill you!”

“Just a small part of me.” Eddie says, his tone cold.

You let go of his arm, eyes narrowing. “Oh, fuck you!”

“Stings, doesn’t it?”

“What are you doing!? Why are you acting like this?!” You yell through your tears.

“Because you’re not the only one who lost her!” It’s out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Your eyes are wide, glistening with tears. He stares at you, rubbing his palm over his lips. “I cannot imagine the pain you feel right now. But I look at you and I can feel it radiate it from you, every single day. The light in your eyes is gone. And it’s because you choose to suffer with this grief alone.”

You step back from him, shaking your head as you stare at him. “You know what? You need to go. Get out.”

“You think I’m gonna leave after what you just told me? You’re out of your mind.” He crosses his arms over his chest.

“You are a fucking asshole!” Your eyes are wide, wild. You open the front door. “I don’t care if you sleep outside in your van, you need to get away from me!” Tears are pouring down your cheeks as you throw open the front door, you look up at him. “You promised me you wouldn’t push. You promised.”

“I guess we’re both liars then.” His big brown eyes match your same wild ones, and you squeeze your eyes shut.

“Please. Just go. Go away.”

“I’m not leaving you.” Eddie says through his gritted teeth.

“I want you to! I don’t want to see you! I don’t want to be in the same room as you! Get the fuck out of my house! Get out or I’m calling the fucking cops!”

He stares at you hard. “You wouldn’t do that.”

“I wouldn’t? I’ll just say the magic words, town freak, right?”

His breath hitches and he felt his heart snap in two. Those words have haunted him for five years, and you used it as ammunition, you aimed, and fired. He looks out to his van and then back at you, his face turns from sadness to full on anger. “Fine. Go ahead and suffer alone.”

He walks away from you, you slam the door shut, and slide down to the floor. Your breathing accelerates and you sob into your hands. You did it, you actually did it. You just took the last ten years, wrapped it up in a ball and threw it in the dumpster.

Eddie hops into his van, not even bothering to put his seat belt on and peels out of your driveway. He doesn’t even know where he’s going, he just drives. His heart was pounding, behind his eyes stung, he felt like he had his entire body was vibrating. He passes the Leaving Hawkins sign and keeps driving until he’s on a dark stretch of road; he pulls over to the side and turns the car off. He leans his forehead against the steering wheel, his breathing picking up, his hands grip the wheel in a white-knuckle grip. He leans back, punching his dashboard not once, not twice, but three times, and he screams, the sound so guttural, so full of pain, full of anger. “Fuuuuuuck!!!!!!!”

He sobs, hard. His body trembling as every single emotion that he had bottled up these last few months finally made its way to the surface. He shouldn’t have pushed, he knows that, but he’s glad he did. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have known how bad you were hurting, but it didn’t matter now. You told him to go, so he did. He takes a cigarette out, lights it and inhales, his breath trembling as the smoke comes out. He didn’t want to feel like this anymore, he needed to feel something else other than this pain, and he felt like a goddamn hypocrite when he turns on the van, driving to Indianapolis to a spot where he knew he’d be able to get rid of his pain. It didn’t matter now, none of it mattered, he was just pulling the strings to his own destruction.

He completely disassociated on the ride to the city; he doesn’t even remember putting on music. He goes down a side street, trying to remember if he’s in the right spot, and when he sees the neon BEER sign, he knew he reached his destination. He only knew about this place because of his dad, he had brought him here when he was last out of prison. In every corner of the bar, someone was snorting something, drinking something, smoking something. He parks the van and gets out; as soon as he opens the door to the bar he is hit with aromas of weed, cigarette smoke, and stale beer. It wasn’t that crowded, and Eddie was glad. He sits on the stool at the bar, the bartender was an older woman, maybe in her late fifties, with kind eyes and a sweet smile.

“What can I get you, honey?” She asks sweetly, placing a napkin in front of him.

“Whiskey, please, straight.” He hands her a twenty-dollar bill, which she hesitates to take, but does anyway.

She places the glass in front of him, and he brings the rim of the glass to his lips, knocking the whole thing back. He winces at the bitter taste and twirls his finger around asking for another. She refills his glass, and he nurses this one.

“You look like you’ve been trekking through a war zone there, sweetheart.” She tells him gently, leaning against the bar, shining a glass.

Eddie meets her eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m not gonna pry, I’m just not sure if you’ve come to the wrong place or the right place.” She gently pats his hand and goes down to the other side of the bar to talk to the other patrons. Eddie glances around the bar, and his eyes fix on a booth in the corner. There’s a man speaking to a woman with their heads bowed, she couldn’t have been much younger than Eddie, she was strikingly beautiful, but had very sad eyes, he notices the exchange. The man had put something in her hand, and she walks away from him, leaving the bar. The man notices Eddie staring and nods at him with a smile, Eddie nods back, looking away from him. He stares at his glass, twirling it in his fingers, the brown liquid moves side to side as he stares at the glass. He turns his head to look over his shoulder, the man was still there, quietly sipping his beer, looking up at the television that had some sort of sports game on.

Eddie knocks the rest of his second drink back and gets up from the stool. He feels the hair prickle on the back of his neck as he walks towards the man. The man looks at him and smiles, leaning back in his seat. He looked like a washed-up version of Robert DeNiro, a little intimidating, otherwise he seemed nice.

Eddie takes out his hand and the man takes it. “Hi, I’m Eddie.”

“Leon.” He sounded southern, Eddie thought. “What can I do for you?”

“I don’t know, what do you got?” Eddie asks, already feeling the effects of the drugs that he didn’t even take yet. That’s how much he loved it the first time he tried it, and that was by accident. Again, it didn’t matter anymore.

Puppet.

“Uppers, downers, china white—"

Pulling the strings.

“How much for the China white?”

Destruction.

Eddie had driven back to the county line outside of Hawkins and had parked in an abandoned fishing spot. The only source of light was from the moon reflecting off the pond, and he opens the square. Leon had told him that if he wasn’t going to shoot it, he’d have to go slow, a small bump. Eddie hated needles, despite having all his tattoos, he couldn’t understand how someone could willingly stick a needle in their arm.

You’re about to snort it, you stupid fuck. What’s the difference? It’s still heroin.

Eddie takes a cassette from under his seat, he didn’t even bother to look at who the artist was, he was gonna throw it out anyway. He sprinkles a little bit of powder on it, no bigger than his fingernail and takes a rolled-up dollar bill. With no hesitation, he’s snorting it into his air ways. He grunts, his nostrils stinging, and a wave of nausea hits him. The cassette tape falls out of his hands, and he feels the vomit hit the back of his throat. He pushes his door open with his shoulder, vomiting all over the ground. He leans his body onto the door panel, wiping his mouth, coughing a little and that’s when he feels it. His eyes flutter close, and he feels a smile grace his lips.

“Oh shit.” He whispers, feeling the euphoria coursing through his blood stream, his nervous system, everywhere. He tries to think of something, think of you, think of her, and he felt nothing. Puppet. Strings. Destruction. He practically drags himself into his driver seat and slams his door. He reaches for the bag of powder, blindly finds the dollar bill and snorts again. He laughs when he lifts his head up, it falls back onto the headrest. Before he knew it, it was all gone and he was smoking a cigarette, his eyes half lidded, his head nodding to the side. He would jump awake, inhale on the cigarette and nod out again. He was just resting his eyes, he told himself.

When he opens his eyes again, he’s in your driveway. He sits up straighter, seeing that it was still dark outside. How the fuck did I get here? He pushes the front door open and practically falls out. He holds his head, the sudden pressure from getting up too fast making him dizzy as he stumbles onto your front porch, pushing your door open. He calls your name, but you don’t answer. He notices the stillness as he stood there, noticing all the lights were off, there was no sound. He suddenly felt sober, and his feet take him to the center of your living room. The light from the bathroom came through the door that was ajar, and all he hears is the sound of his own breathing and his footfalls.

He pushes the door open slowly with his palm, the hinges squeaking, and he sees you lying there. You’re on your back, your head tilted to one side, arms splayed out, unmoving.

A groan escapes him, a sound that started from the very depths of his soul. His body falls against the door, and he falls to his knees. His body felt stiff as he crawled to you, hot, angry tears were pooling from his eyes.

“Nooo…” He groans, his hand shaking as he turns your face, your eyes in a fixed stare. He inhales deeply, cupping your face. You just have to kiss her, and she’ll wake up. That’s all, like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty.

Eddie kisses your lips gently, his tears falling to your cheeks, and he lifts his head. You still lay there unmoving, no breath from your lips. His mouth falls open in a gasp as he looks at you, and his body shakes with sobs. He stares at your face, he couldn’t understand what was happening, why this was happening.

“Please come back to me, please. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything I said, please.” He cups your face, smoothing back your hair; you were so cold. “Just wake up now, and we can start over, that’s all. Just wake up…please!!!” He cries and cradles your limp body to him, trying to figure out something, anything that will get you to wake up. He kisses your cheeks, your hair, your forehead.

His head falls back, and a loud, guttural wail escapes his lungs. “Nooooooo!!!”

“Nooooo!” Eddie screams himself awake. The sun was beating down on him in the van as he catches his breath, looking around, panic and fright in his wide brown eyes. He was still parked at the pond. He feels bile rise in his throat and barely gets the door open before he’s violently vomiting on the ground. His vomit from the night before inches from where he stood. He wipes his mouth, his skin sweaty, damp. He squints in the sunlight and holds his stomach. He was still high, but functional, his logical part of his brain working faster than it did last night.

“Fucking idiot, Munson.” He says to himself, and then he remembers his dream. A breath is caught in his throat, and he scrambles himself back in the van, he starts it up, throwing it into reverse and speeds out of there. He was dry heaving on the way to your house, having to stop only once to pull over and vomit again.

He almost forgets to put the van into park when he screeches into your driveway. He almost falls out and scrambles up the steps, your door was unlocked. He doesn’t bother closing it when he runs in and shouts your name. His blood ran cold when he didn’t get a response from you, and he screams your name again. He runs into the living room, his breath caught when he sees that the bathroom door is ajar like in his dream. His heart pounded and he felt his hands shake: it was just a dream, it wasn’t real. Just a dream.

The door squeaks open, and you walk out, towel drying your hair from taking a long hot shower. A whimper escapes his lungs, and he startles you.

The towel falls from your hands as you stare at him and he stares at you, he’s looking at you like he’s seeing a ghost. You immediately notice his features, his pale face, his eyes wide with panic, almost black. He was sweaty, and your hand goes to your mouth to hold back your cry, you knew immediately what he had done and part of you felt responsible.

There was desperation on both of your faces, and the two of you crash into each other, sobbing and holding each other. Eddie holds your face in his hands, kissing you over and over, his tears mixing with yours.

“You’re here.” He kept saying and you weren’t sure why. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” He cries holding your face and you shake your head, sputtering, you can feel your face flush as you caress his face, his hair, staring into his eyes.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have had you leave. I didn’t do the rest of the drugs, I got rid of them, I flushed them. I didn’t do them, I swear.” Panic is in your voice, and he holds onto your waist tightly as you keep touching him, keeping him upright.

Eddie feels his heart split in two and feels the guilt bubbling up in his chest as his head falls to your shoulder and he sobs. You hold him there, rubbing the back of his head as you both sobbed. “I fucked up last night, I’m so sorry. But I needed to not feel anything. I thought it didn’t matter, I thought I lost you forever and I couldn’t…couldn’t handle losing another person, I couldn’t handle that pain. There’s so much of it and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

You pull away and hold his face, shaking your head as you give him a small smile. “We have to feel it, I realized that after you left last night. That’s one of the only ways that lets us know that she was real, that the pain is real; that our love is real.”

“How do you not hate me?” His lip trembles. “After everything I said, after what I did.”

“Because I love you. No matter what and that’s a hard fucking pill to swallow when you realize how much you love a person, even when you’re so fucking angry at them.”

You run your thumb along his lips, and he smiles softly. “When you left last night, I wanted to die. I was awful to you, I pushed you away because I thought your life would be a lot less chaotic without me in it. And then…” You inhale deeply, your voice shaking. “Then I felt her. I felt this warmth, this blanket of pure comfort and I just let it consume me. Everything poured out, I thought my guts were gonna shut down and I would be stuck in a loop of constant tears forever, but I let her in, and she stayed awhile.”

Eddie laughs a little as tears continue to fall from his eyes, he caresses your face, your hair and kisses you softly. “I love you.” He whispers to you.

“I know.” You smirk up at him, wiping away his tears.

He kisses you again, wrapping his arms around your shoulders, letting out a sigh of relief. You hold him tight, rubbing his back and arms.

He takes a shower soon afterwards; scrubbing the last night away until his skin felt raw, and he swore he rubbed off most of his chest tattoos. He finds you in your room, and he walks in with no shirt, and just his jeans. His wet curly hair stuck to his chest. You’re sitting upright, sketching in what looks like your mother's sketch pad.

He sits on the edge of your bed, glancing down at the book. “You’re sketching?”

You look up at him and smile; you were just doodling. Some wildflowers, eye shapes, your hands. You didn’t feel ready to paint yet, and you forgot how much you loved to sketch. You couldn’t force yourself to be happy, but you could try to be a bit more human.

You feel his eyes on you and look up again. He’s smiling that sweet smile, his dimples large. He still looked a little high, but he was less sweaty, less jumpy. He wasn’t entirely sure how he was going to feel once it was completely out of his system. Would it hurt? He wondered. But he realized he didn’t care if it did, he deserved to feel that pain.

You close the sketch pad and put it on your nightstand, you scoot closer to him, you drape your legs on either side of him while he kneeled. His hand reaches up to caress your face, your lips, and you pull his mouth towards yours in a sweet kiss. You lay back, taking him with you, he cups your face, his other hand going to your leg to hook around his waist, the kiss deepening. His lips travel to your throat, leaving a soft trail of kisses there and to the center of your chest. You sigh lovingly at his touch, and he lifts up your shirt, leaving soft kisses on your tummy, around your navel and ribs. He feels you shudder at his touch, and he pulls you up, peeling your shirt over your head. You were naked underneath, and he kisses you again. The tips of his fingers glide up your arm, leaving goosebumps to prickle on your skin. You grip his forearm, and gently move your fingers up and down as he kisses your neck, slowly moving down, leaving soft kisses around your breasts, and taking your nipple into his mouth, gently sucking. Your back arches and you moan; he goes to your other breast, gently kissing and sucking. His hand travels down your belly while he teases your nipples, and he snaps the button of your jeans. He meets your lips passionately again, grunting softly as his hand slides down over your sex and fingers your clit generously. You arch your hips, and he pulls off your jeans and underwear. He hovers above you after taking off his own jeans and rubs your face. He leans down to kiss you, his lips soft. You let out a moan and he grunts when you feel him push himself inside you, your back arches at the feeling, a loving sigh escaping your lips. His mouth stays hovered above yours as he thrusts, and you look into his eyes. His fingertips dig gently into your thighs and a throaty moan escapes his lips. He caresses your face, kissing your lips softly, burying his face in your chest, licking around your nipple again. You grip his shoulders, moaning loud, the sensation of his gentleness, the grinding of his hips, was enough to get you to scream. Your orgasm was building in your lower belly, but you didn’t want this feeling to end. You held onto it, and flipped him onto his back, riding him gently, your palms on his chest. Your clit rubs against his pelvis, and your head falls back in a whimper. He holds your hips, his head arching back against the pillow. He sits up, holding him to you in the butterfly position, his arms tightly around your middle, his lips against your breast. The tingles in your belly grow, and you clench around him, your head falls back as you cry out in pleasure, your orgasm causing every part of your body to tremble, and tears spring to your eyes. He groans against you as he orgasms soon after you, he holds you to him, still catching up on your breathing and you look into his eyes. His hand caresses your cheek, and he kisses you gently. You push yourself off him so you’re sitting more in his lap, pressing your forehead against his and he hugs your waist.

Staring into his big brown eyes, you give him a soft smile, gently petting his face. “From now on, we need to be honest with each other. No more secrets.”

He shakes his head, smiling at you. “No more secrets.”

“I’m not okay, Eddie.” You tell him quietly, your eyes filling up with tears, he tightens his hold. “And I won’t be for a long time. When she died…I think, I think a part of me did too. That’s where that pain is.” You press your hand over your heart, and he gently kisses the center of your chest. “They say there’s stages of this grief, but I think they’re full of shit. I think you go through each stage, over and over and over again. It’s constant, like a running stream. And I know you’re not okay, either. You were right when you said that I’m not the only one who lost her—”

“Sweetheart, that was—”

“Let me finish.” You smile at him, kissing his nose and he stares into your eyes. “I’m not the only one that lost her. Yeah, I lost the bond that we formed as soon as I was born, I lost the late-night talks and getting my tears wiped away because she was my mother. You lost someone very special to you, someone who showed you love and comfort and a bond that can be so rare to find. I will never take that away from you. Your grief is your grief, not mine. But we can heal together. It's not gonna be easy, it’s gonna be really fucking hard but I plan on doing this with you for the rest of my life. I plan on feeling every single emotion that God or whoever the fuck throws at me, at us. I plan on you being by my side until we’re old, watching our grandchildren grow up, yelling at each other on how to figure out technology because let’s face it, this world is going to be run by machines soon. You are the best thing, the craziest thing, that has ever happened to me, and I’m gonna hold onto that until I can’t anymore.”

His eyes are filled with tears, and he smiles large, kissing you passionately. You hug him tightly, kissing his cheek before getting off his lap. He lights up a cigarette, inhaling it deeply and stretches. He looks at you with his arm draped over his shoulder, just watching you. He stands up to get dressed but you stop him.

“Wait.” You tell him, grabbing your sketch book. “Stay like that."

"What? Why?” He laughs.

“Shut up, don’t move.”

He smiles at you and stays still, and you begin to sketch out his form. Eddie suddenly felt shy as he hears your pencil hit the paper, this was such an intimate moment, and he didn’t want to mess it up. You concentrated so hard on what you were doing, and he felt his heart skip a few beats as he watches you, both nude, just the sounds of the creativity coming out of your brain.

You smiled when you were finished, and Eddie was able to move his limbs, feeling stiff all over. You wipe off the pencil dust and hand it to him. He smiles large, you had captured him so beautifully and he realizes it was true, you saw him for who he truly was.

Just Eddie.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Autumn had come out of nowhere, and you wrap your sweater tighter around you as another wave of nausea hits you. You had left work early; it seemed like every twenty minutes you were running to the bathroom to puke your guts out. You tried to think about what you had eaten the night before; was it the chicken? Was it the leftover meatloaf you had made for your father’s birthday? Eddie had been very cryptic lately, and it was starting to piss you off. He would ask you questions about what color paint you’d use to paint a kitchen, hardwood or carpet; you would overhear him talking to your father about stuff that had to do with finances, and your father had a glint in his eyes, and you tried to think of anything that could possibly make sense. The nausea hits you again and you run to the bathroom and vomit hard. You swore there was nothing left in your system to vomit but your body had other plans. You lean against the tub, the coolness of the porcelain an odd comfort against your skin.

Your eyes land on an unopened box of tampons, and a sudden thought occurred to you. Closing your eyes, you think back to when you last had your period; trying to figure out the math was like trying to figure out a formula with Einstein. Your eyes snap open; it had been over a month since your last period.

A month.

Nausea hits you again and you grip the porcelain, preparing for the worst but nothing comes. “There’s no way.” You say to yourself and lift yourself up on shaky legs.

Grabbing your keys, you rush out the door to your car, and go into a local pharmacy. You take the first test you see, and don’t make eye contact with the cashier as she rings you up. When you arrived home, you were grateful Eddie was still at work, and your father was finishing up a construction job in Ohio. You rip open the test, reading the directions.

“Pee on it? How the fuck…” Your eyes squint as you look at the small diagram drawing of how to get coat the test in urine. Groaning, you pull down your pants, and do your business, yelling comedically as you get urine all over your hand trying to match the test up with the stream. The directions said you had to wait three minutes for the results, and you sit on the toilet lid, your leg bopping up and down anxiously as you wait.

Once the three minutes was up, you don’t look right away. Your arm reaches the sink counter, and you take it, looking down at the tiny window. There were two lines, and you suddenly forgot what that meant. You scramble to dig the directions out of the trash, scanning the black ink until you reach the result section.

One line meant it was negative.

Two lines meant…

Your hands shake as you stare at the test in your hand, like it was a rare piece of art, and you were trying desperately to see if the picture would move.

No matter how you look at it, the result is gonna stay the same.

A smile creeps up on your lips, tears well in your eyes and you cover your mouth with your hand.

Something happens to you just now; it felt like the Earth shifted right at your feet. Before there was a constant tilt for so many months, now suddenly it was upright. Everything seemed brighter, you felt a dull ache in your chest, but it wasn’t pain, no, it was something different.

Something warm.

There was a human being growing inside you. Yours and Eddie’s baby. Your father’s grandchild, your mother’s grandchild. Yours. A being that had a part of you and a part of the man you loved. Your best friend, your lover, your confidant.

You were going to be parents.

You were going to be a mother.

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