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strawberryfairi · 4 months

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“I loved you then…back when I knew you”

Synopsis: 💎 When your old high school best friend, and admittedly, first love randomly shows up at your door one morning after a bit over ten years apart, your memories of him that you once locked away comes flooding back. Are you open to hearing him out after all this time? (In other words…will you take your man back or nah?)

♕Pairings: Kazutora X Black Fem Reader 🤎 🛑Content: 18+, Eventual smut, Some grief, Some angst ~Crossposted On: Wattpad ONLY ~Updating WEEKLY

w.c. 3.4k💠

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CHAPTER 4: FEELINGS

"No! You can't hide it, are you crazy?!"Miyazaki-chan exclaimed with wide eyes.

"What do you mean I can't hide it?!" Your face scrunched up in bewilderment.

You girls were all currently eating lunch in an open classroom, somewhere y'all were sure nobody (nobody as in Kazutora) would find you and overhear.

"That's not a good idea. It never ends well trying to hide it." Asuka added.

"Listen, if you try to hide how you feel you're just gonna look like a dumbass." Miyazaki-chan said, her tone serious.

"So what then, the best option is to just show it and look like an even bigger dumbass?!" You scrunched your face as you spoke.

".....Yeah!" They all nodded.

"Hell naw! That is so stupid!" You ranted, throwing your hands up.

"Hey! I don't know why you're freakin' out about this at week, like what, six?! Why didn't you see this coming?!" Hanako-chan accused, pointing a finger at you.

"What?! Who sees a crush on someone coming? Be for real." You rolled your eyes.

"Literally everyone except you, apparently! You didn't notice the way you've been acting around him? I mean damn, you've had hearts in your eyes since the day he first came to school!" Yumi ranted.

You slapped a hand over your mouth, letting out a deep gasp. "Did I really?!" You asked nervously, your tone much softer now.

"Yes!"

"It was pretty bad."

"Literally hearts in your eyes."

"Everyone noticed."

They all said one after the other. You groaned, covering your face with your hands. "I don't think this is good. I don't know if he likes me ba-

"He does." They once again all said in unison.

"I'm serious, guys!" You whined childishly.

"And we're serious too! I mean think about it, he always walks with you and he defends you all the time!" Yumi said, a slight swoon in her voice.

"Wait what? Defends me all the time? He only helped me once."

"No, that's not true, you're just never there." Hayashi-chan cut in. "Whenever he hears some guys talking about you in a way he doesn't like, he gets super mad, like, really pissed."

You were silent, taking in and registering what she just said. "Well..that's not a for sure sign that he likes me. We'll just have to see, I guess. I'll play it cool as best as I can." You shrugged, sighing in slight defeat.

Crushes are always such a hassle. They can be fun and exciting, but the anxiousness of not knowing how someone feels about you always kinda sucks. Most times crushes end up just being phases anyway, and honestly for your sake, you hoped this one was a phase.

The fifty minute lunch period was soon over, leaving you bored once again in your math class. It was pretty trash having to go from fun lunchtime to boring math, but whatever, that's life. You always sat right up front and to the far left side by the window. You had to be in the front in all your classes because it helped you focus and see better. You hated having to peer through all these different people just to see what's on the board.

At some point in the middle of class a crumbled piece of paper fell onto your desk, right on top of your binder. You looked around with furrowed brows, seeing no one looking suspicious in any way, before opening the paper.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day had come around, Tuesday. It was officially four days into the month of October, and the weather's been much cooler now.

Kazutora noticed you approaching him in the hallway, which left him a bit surprised seeing as he usually comes and finds you. He didn't mind it though.

"Hey Kazi." You greeted him with a small smile. "What's up?" He looked down at you with a little grin. He liked that you weren't afraid to call him by his nickname in school anymore. You used to always save it for when you both were alone or walking home together.

"Uhh, so I actually won't be able to walk home with you today." You mutter, fiddling around with the hem of your skirt.

"Huh?" His brows furrowed.

"Yeah, one of my classmates asked to hang out with me at this park after school." You looked up at him with an apologetic tone.

Wait wait wait, what? Kazutora figured he must be trippin', 'cause did he just hear you say a classmate asked you to the park with them? Yesterday, the crumpled note you received in math class had been an invitation. It wasn't often someone from school offered to hang out with you, so you figured why not? Could be fun, who knows?

"Oh? Who is it?" He tilted his head to the side inquisitively.

You started to get a little nervous. His tone was absolutely not matching the look on his face. He sounded normal as usual, but his eyes looked like there was hellfire behind them.

"He's in my math class. He's really nice so I didn't wanna say no." You skillfully avoided saying who it was, and made sure to add the fact that he's a nice guy, hoping that would somehow make Kazutora feel better about hanging with someone else. From the outside, Kazutora had a pretty composed demeanor, but on the inside he was lighting the whole school on fire. Your words rang loudly in his ears, repeating over and over again.

He's really nice Didn't wanna say no In my math class Really nice

He...it's a he, and he's nice?! So nice, allegedly, that you felt you couldn't say no to him. Just so nice in fact, that you went and chose him over Kazutora. Who is this kid? Where the hell did he get the balls to ask to hang out with you of all the girls in this entire school?! Did he not know you always walked with him now? He really didn't know he'd called dibs on you, like almost a month ago?

"Nice, huh? You like him or somethin'?" He asked as cooly as he could manage, raising a brow.

"Well I mean, I like him but not like that, you know? He's sweet though, and it seems like he's pretty shy." You shrugged, trying to reiterate that your classmate really is a nice guy...again. You'd went and spoke to him for a bit after class, wanting to make sure the note was actually meant for you. He seemed genuinely kind, so why wouldn't you say yes?

It took every fiber of Kazutora's being to not clench his jaw in annoyance. Isn't this just peachy? You both might as well be two peas in a pod, running off into the sunset being shy and sweet together. He didn't like this at all, not even a little. He hated how it made him feel, imagining you being someone else's princess, even though the whole school already knows you to be his own princess.

Kazutora was jealous...as fuck, but he'd never admit that out loud. He hummed in response to you, nodding his head slowly.

"We can walk together tomorrow though, ok? Both to school and back; I promise!" You gave him another one of those sickeningly sweet smiles, placing a hand on his arm. In just that moment he was calm again, looking down at your hand sealing the promise you made to him. Then as soon as your hand left and you told him "I'll see you later" in that silky voice, walking down the hall to wherever you were going, the jealousy came crashing right back in.

He spent the entire rest of the day agonizing over you and whoever it was you'd be spending time with after school. It was causing physical pain at this point not knowing which kid it was in your grade that had the guts to go for you.

Shy my ass.... He thought to himself bitterly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the end of the day, Yamagishi had come to your locker just as he said he would. As you both exited the building, all you heard were whispers and murmurs about why you weren't walking with Kazutora today, and if the two of you broke up. You ignored it, talking about how the day went with him.

Yamagishi really was a sweet guy. As soon as a conversation about something he's into came up, he'd go on and on about it, the nervousness completely out the window.

He took you to a nice public park. It was really beautiful, the autumn leaves were all kinds of burgundy, orange, and yellow shades, some fallen on the path creating this ethereal effect. There were so many people walking around here, some couples and some groups of friends doing the same thing as you and Yamagishi, walking around leisurely after school.

"I've never been here before; this is really nice!" You beamed, speed walking over to the lake in the center of the park. The park was built around the body of water, cute metal plates of the different species of fish in the water circled around the whole perimeter of the lake.

"Yeah, I like to come here pretty often and do homework. It's really cool-looking this time of year." He chuckled shyly, joining your side by the water. He was so glad you liked it here. He'd spent days trying to think of where he could take you to hang out where he could finally tell you how he feels about you. His friends had been hassling him for months telling him if he doesn't do it soon someone else'll come along and beat him to the punch and he'll regret it forever.

"Thanks for bringing me here." You smile at him sweetly, before turning your attention back to the fish swimming around aimlessly in the water. Yamagishi blushed hard, his cheeks turning deep pink as he looked at your face. You look so pretty standing there with such a peaceful expression, the wind brushing past the little coils in your updo. He loves how you always have such cool hairstyles, and you always make your uniform match your own personal style. Your skin is so clear and looks even softer, too. Then your eyes, that foreign shape and the way they always seem like they're sparkling, he loved it. He swallowed hard, balling his fists up in his pockets as he tries to build the courage to do what he brought you here to do.

"Um-

"Ooo look! They have a hojicha latte stand! You want some?!" You beamed abruptly, pointing to the right behind Yamagishi. There was a small line of people, all waiting for a hot cup of hojicha (Note: Hojicha lattes are a tea latte made from Japanese roasted green tea leaves~).

"O-oh, I can get you some if you want?" He offered sweetly, a bit disappointed at his spoiled chance. He'll find another opening though, for sure.

"No no, you don't have to! I can-

"I want to." He cut you off, giving you the cutest smile, "Wait here, I'll be right back!" He called over his shoulder, already jogging over to the slightly growing hojicha line. You laughed lightly to yourself, waiting patiently for him to come back with your drink.

He came back fairly quickly, handing you your drink. The both of you walked around in a tranquil silence, at least, it was tranquil for you. Yamagishi on the other hand was freaking out mentally, completely shook that one of his previously wildest dreams was actually unfolding in real life right now. He'd feel like an absolute failure if he went home without confessing to you, he has to do it, at least really try! Maybe after he confesses he could hold your hand like a couple. Maybe even kiss!

"Oh, you know what, I heard the school is gonna be doing a really nice autumn festival in Novem- You cut yourself off, noticing some random tall dude aggressively bump into Yamagishi's shoulder, spilling his drink all along his arm and part of the front of his shirt. His face contorted in pain as the hot beverage made contact with his skin through his clothes. Your face scrunched up in anger and shock, your head snapping behind you to glare at the guy who did this. He was super tall, probably a little over six feet, wearing some all red outfit.

"Hey! You just made him spill his drink all over his shirt! What is wrong with you, you don't see all this space to walk around?!" You ranted, gesturing towards Yamagishi's stained shirt. The tall guy turned around, an annoyed look on his face.

Yamagishi's eyes widened in horror, immediately recognizing the symbol on the guys outfit. He knew a lot about all kinds of things gang related, so it didn't take him long to register that this was none other than Osanai, the current leader of Moebius.

"Huh?" He says stupidly.

"hUuuH?", You mocked him, becoming more annoyed by the second, "Apologize to him!" You demand, your demeanor completely serious, stepping up towards the gang leader boldly.

"Why doesn't your little boyfriend speak up for himself, huh? You got a problem with me, pussy?" He asked smugly, looking past you and straight at a petrified Yamagishi. You scoffed, appalled at how rude he was being.

"N-no sir!" Yamagishi frantically answered before turning and grabbing your hand, "Come on, we should-

"Well how 'bout this, I got a problem with you. Don't talk to him like that!" You said fiercely, taking your hand out of Yamagishi's, walking over and shoving a hand in Osanai's chest. You weren't exactly sure why you were reacting like this, maybe there was some unmanaged anger about that situation with that rapist weeks ago that still lingered. Maybe you were tired of guys acting like they can just do whatever they want and get away with it, picking on people who weren't as strong. Highly likely both. The tall guy bursted out into laughter, looking down at you like you were an ant.

Suddenly, he snatched you by the front of your shirt, making your heart drop as you yelped. "You've got some guts, girl. You realize who you're talkin' to?" He asked menacingly, he was so close your noses were nearly touching.

"Let go." You gritted out angrily, standing your ground.

"Don't hurt her! Let her go!" Yamagishi cried out, pulling you out of his grip and shifting himself in front of you.

"Hey, we got a problem here, boss?"

Another boy, tall, with a friend both dressed the same as Osanai strolled over casually. They looked intimidating, just like this one who started everything.

"Yeah, seems this little miss wants some trouble." He smirked deviously, talking over his shoulder. "Oh yeah?" The other less taller one spoke, chewing some gum lazily. Your heart was pounding, pumping both fear and high levels of anger through your veins.

"If you want a problem, I can hand you a problem!" You snapped from behind Yamagishi's shoulder. The tallest one snickered, then pushed Yamagishi out of the way like he was nothing, making him fall to the ground. Osanai gripped your jaw tightly, two fingers forcing your lips to pucker out in an embarrassing way. Then, he nodded towards Yamagishi, letting the other two stomp him out right in front of you. "You shoulda just kept your mouth shut, bitch. Now you can watch your punk ass boyfriend get-

You cut him off with a hard slap, using your own hot hojicha cup to hit him in the face with. His head slightly turned to your left, eyes wide as the drink spilled along him and your own arm. Osanai let go, letting you stumble back while panting heavily. "To think I was gonna let you off the hook." He chuckled dryly. Your heart dropped. What the hell kind of situation is this?! You can't fight him, Yamagishi sure as hell can't fight, you're stuck. Your whole body was shaking, hands trembling just like six weeks ago with that college aged creep. You didn't wanna be hopeless like back then, you wanted to fight for yourself, protect yourself. You balled your fists at your sides, preparing for a fight.

You heard Yamagishi yell for you to just run away, but fuck that. It'd be terrible for you to leave him. Clearly no one else around had the guts to help y'all, so you'll just have to do what you can.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Welp....the fight didn't last very long, nor did it go well for you. Yamagishi had somehow managed to weasel himself away from the two guys attacking him, placing himself between you and Osanai just in time to take the punch he was about to throw at you. His body fell to the side and hit the ground like he didn't weigh a thing. You could tell Osanai was a fighter for real, he had insane technique. Just as Yamagishi fell out cold, Osanai readied another punch, this one finally managing to hit you directly in the face. You fell down right with Yamagishi, wailing out in pain like a baby and cupping the left side of your face gently. Osanai and the others threatened to do worse if we ever tried them again, then left on their merry way like nothing happened.

The two of you got back to your house late in the night. Your mom was fast asleep so you were able to sneak him into your room without waking her up. You handled the both of your wounds gently, taking the most time on Yamagishi as he received the worst of it. He apologized to you over and over and over, tears flowing down his face like a waterfall. He felt horrific that he couldn't save you, and felt pathetic even more at the fact that he barely even did much at all. You were braver than he was in his opinion. You held your ground against a man while all Yamagishi wanted to do was get outta there as fast as possible. He felt like he didn't deserve someone as strong as you, and he especially didn't think he deserved a girl he can't even protect.

"You don't have to keep apologizing. Honestly, I should've just listened to you; we should've ran away or something. Neither one of us knows how to really fight, and that guy seemed like he was a boxer or some kinda professional." You mumbled, gently placing some circular shaped bandaids on his arms. He frowned, not really feeling any better about the situation. You let out a deep sigh, placing the first aid supplies down, looking him in the eyes. "I-I couldn't do anything. I wanted to save you, but I'm not strong like those guys." He stuttered, frantically wiping away at his continuous tears. Your heartstrings pulled at the sight of him, making you tear up your own self.

"You're not necessarily as strong or super tall like them, but you did stick up for me. You defended me the best that you could, and I appreciate that a lot. You're way better than them, Yamagishi. They're physical strength is all they have so they just go around hurting people to make them feel better about themselves. But you have more strength than them by a long shot, 'cause your brave and respectful; compassionate. You got a gold heart." You smiled softly, hugging him from the side gently.

Yamagishi's heart skipped probably five beats in a row. He couldn't believe you still thought highly of him even after what happened. He melted into the hug, slowly resting his head on your shoulder. You patted his back a bit, pulling away from the hug. He took the small window of silence between the two of you to do what he planned to do this whole time.

"I-..I really like you-

You cut him off, leaning forward and planting a small, sweet kiss on his cheek. Yamagishi gasped, stiffening up instantly as he fell dead silent. His heart was racing ten miles a second.

"I know." You speak softly, "But, I like you more as a friend."

"Oh.." His heart sank, eyes cast downward in disappointment. As fast as his dream came, it dissipated into mist, drifting away rapidly in the wind.

"You'll find someone that loves you, and when you do, you'll make her really happy! I know that for sure." You assure, giving him a light smile. It was hard for you, turning down such a cute sweetheart like him. Honestly it worried you about your own little crush situation with Kazutora.

You very well may be joining Yamagishi in the unrequited love parade soon.

🩵A/N: Thanks so much for reading y'all, and I hope you guys are enjoying the fluff section of the story so far! Please like and reblog and whatever else lol, love y'all🧚🏾‍♀️

#kazutora x reader #black female reader #tokyo revengers x black reader #tokyo rev #kazutora hanemiya #kazutora #tokyo rev x reader #kazutora hanemiya x reader #black fem reader #strawberryfairi

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fratboykate · 1 year

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How does the world find out that Kate has an employee that rearranges her guts on the daily? 😇

why are y'all like this? kjdlfhgljkdhfg but I GUESS i can indulge you because this is one of the first things i figured out. i know almost every single minute detail of how this would go. if i wasnt mentally dead i would actually WRITE this for you but instead you’re getting the cliff notes.

so, again, kate’s a SUPERSTAR. think snaylor-esque level famous + she acts (not in “cats”, in real movies lol that she has big award nominations/wins for). so she’s on an arena tour. obviously yelena is there. she planned all of the logistics and security for the whole tour. they’re in london for a huge show. reminder that ALL of kate’s friends/people in kate’s life think this has been over for monthssssssssss now. this was after she was like “oh no i caught feelings” and everyone was like “abort mission” and kate lied through her teeth saying it was over. no one in yelena’s life knows this is a thing either.

so, kate finishes the arena show. a really common security thing for big stars is to use decoy vehicles. they send out like 4-6 black suvs at a time, all taking different routes and if paps really want to get them, it’s a gamble on whether they have the right car or not. yelena went with that as her exit tactic for the tour. at the end of the concert they would get kate out of there IMMEDIATELY in one of six black suvs. kate is out of the venue before most fans have even turned around from the stage. it’s gone without a hitch for the first couple of months of tour.

needless to say, in kate’s suv it’s always just her and yelena. and this particular day she sat in the passenger seat instead of the back seat. no one questions it. also no one caught them in the US or south america leg of the tour. no one’s been the wiser the first few weeks of the european tour so kate gets reckless. they got comfortable. the back seats of these suvs are SUPER tinted but the driver’s side window is not tinted at all or waaaay less tinted. some legal reason. whatever. just roll with it. i need it to work for the plot lol. they stop at a red light on the way to the hotel through the super long, crazy detour route they took to throw people off. kate leans over and kisses yelena. they’re fully making out at this red light. FLASH FLASH FLASH from through yelena’s window. couple paps on a bike picked this suv tonight and got LUCKYYYYYY AS FUCK. caught them red handed. kate and yelena are both like FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. yelena starts trying to lose them but the driver is good. he’s on her like gum. there’s no way she’s going to lose this guy in a city she’s not intimately familiar with and he probably is.

after a few minutes of this and yelena getting incresingly agitated, mad at herself for being so stupid, kate is like “do you trust me” and yelena is like “?????????” “yes or no question”. theyve BASICALLY been dating in secret pretty seriously for a hot second now, so the only thing they would lose with these pictures getting out is control of the narrative. the pictures are going to get sold anyway but they can still control how what they have is framed. so yelena is like “I GUESS??????” to the “do you trust me?” question. kate tells her to keep driving around, buy her time. that pap is going to stick with them as long as he thinks he can get more pictures of them tonight and if he’s with them then he’s not at home selling those photos to someone for a hot scoop.

yelena starts driving and kate starts typing on her phone. yelena cant see what, because kate is straight up hiding her screen + she’s busy driving. but kate’s going to town. it’s A Whole Thing. maybe fifteen minutes later kate is like “done” and yelena is like “DONE WHAT WHATS DONE WHAT DID YOU DO?!” and kate flips her phone and shows yelena her IG and its a WHOLE ENTIRE HARD LAUNCH POST ON HER FEED OF THE TWO OF THEM TO THE WORLD. kate made a carousel of her favorite pictures of them + just yelena that she’s taken. them just being people, together, normal. on the quiet days they could get away or on those escapades they managed to go on. she wrote on the caption why she’s pretty much being forced to do this now (the pap violated their privacy and she wants control of her/their story) and obviously its also her just going off about how special yelena is and how yelena has changed how kate sees the world. how she’s in love, whatever. y’know…corny gay shit. the internet EXPLODESSSSSSSSSS. “america’s sweetheart…gay???…for the bodyguard???”.

in zero seconds there’s wild hottttttt takes all over the place.

and yelena is like “JKLDHFGJKLDSHKJG KATE WHY?!” “people were going to wake up tomorrow to find out anyway so…at least we did it on our terms”. “our” as if yelena had anything to do with that jkldhgfjkdhgf oh, kate silly silly silly kate.

now all of a sudden, yelena goes from absolute obscurity as a no one to dating THE MOST FAMOUS WOMAN ON THE PLANET (who no one knew was into girls?!) in a matter of two minutes. its crazy.

and that’s how they go public haha.

#kybgau #anonymous #answers #kybgaup

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yourlocalartsonist · 1 year

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ROTTMNT Moths Fly In Packs - Chapter Five

A/N: Pain. Suffering. Pain. Agony. Sorry for dying for the past few weeks (month?) but I was just struggling with this chapter bro like fr. It was originally much much MUCH longer but I felt like it got so long that it cluttered everything up and was just taking too long to write. So, I split the chapters up. Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm leaving y'all on a cliffhanger for this chapter but hey! Chapter six is almost done so it should be out waaaaaay sooner and you won't have to suffer for too long :> Hope you guys enjoy this and sorry for the wait and the shorter chapter lmao

Also! Credit to: @sweaterrat for being my beloved beta reader!

Previous Chapter:

Next Chapter:

Chapter One:

Disclaimer: Chapter involves neglect, mild panic attack, violence, injuries, and curse words. If you're sensitive to that stuff, scroll past and stay safe! <3

—

The gusty air chilled my skin. It’s quite windy today, isn’t it?

Twenty more steps.

It’s Monday now, starting the week with school as usual. Getting to see everyone. Including… Jaiden. Just like last week. All over again.

Ten more steps.

I don’t know what I did. If they’re okay. If they’re mad. I ignored my phone the whole weekend after seeing Jaiden at that party. They could’ve just told me or rescheduled or something. Why lie? What gives?

Five more steps.

I covered my eyes, shielding them from the light reflecting off of cars. Maybe Jaiden didn’t lie. Maybe there really was something important at first and then they went to a party later? But then again, they could’ve still told me anyway. But then again, maybe they figured I’d be busy by then. Yeah, that could be it.

Three.

Well, I’ll never know if I don’t ask. I’ll just ask. I’ll go up to them and say “Hey, I saw you went to a party after telling me we can’t hang out. Did something happen?” And I’m sure I’ll get a reasonable answer. It can’t go that wrong.

Two.

It’s getting kinda hard to breathe. Why? The air’s fantastic today. Are my lungs okay?

One.

One more step.

It’s one more step. Just turn the corner and there it is. It’s Monday, I need to go to school. I need to do my work. I need to talk to Jaiden. I’m so close. Why aren’t my stupid feet moving?

I caught myself taking deeper breaths, my chest suffocated. My legs went numb. The building’s right there, why did I have to get all weird right now? What’s even happening? Why does my head feel mushy? My breathing got more rushed, more audible, more desperate. What is with me, why can’t I just… panic attack? Panic attack! That’s what’s happening! Again.

Now knowing my condition, I leaned against the wall and attempted to relax. Breathe more manually. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Once. Twice. Three times. My body relaxed soon after.

Of course, I just had to have a panic attack a literal step away from school. I should’ve known this would happen. I’ve been getting them nonstop all weekend every time I even thought about seeing Jaiden. Should I call someone? The only other person I could call if I wanted to make it to school today is Zane, and that’s sure as hell not happening. I don’t want him to feel responsible for whatever’s going on between me and Jaiden, he probably has no idea it’s happening, anyway!

I could skip the day. It might honestly be better since I doubt I’ll even be able to focus, anyway. But at the same time, being alone in a state like this wouldn’t be the best option for me. The more alone I am, the more time I have. The more time I have, the more thinking I do. The more thinking I do, the more I’ll be reminded of Jaiden hence defeating the entire point. I searched through my contacts. I’ve got friends outside of Jaiden and Zane now, so maybe I could hang out with someone and get my mind off things. I’ll text in the group chat to see if anyone’s free.

But…

My hands stayed in place holding my phone.

What if they get mad?

I already tagged along with Mikey and Leo just the other day. If I ask again, what if they’ll just get annoyed? I was being too clingy with Jaiden and that’s probably what lead to this situation in the first place. Ugh, I knew pestering them wasn’t a good idea. I just… whatever, just don’t repeat mistakes. I don’t want any of them to be upset with me. But, if I can’t call the guys, who else do I have?

My eyes strained at the tiny bright screen. Only one person left: April. We haven’t gone out in a while, for months actually. Maybe she’d be down? It’s worth a shot.

Breathe in, press the button. It’ll be okay.

After a few rings, a voice picked up gleefully singing my name.

“Salena!~ How are ya? It’s been so long, I thought you forgot about me.”

I laughed “Ah yes, me forget the April O’Neil, as if that’s such a simple task! I just got a little busy, is all. I know they say junior year’s supposed to be the soul-draining year of death and misery, but tenth grade’s not that great either to be honest.”

“That why you called? Is high school kicking your ass that badly? You know I’m always here to help.”

I shook my head as if she was in front of me. “No, don’t worry! I’m actually doing great grades-wise, plenty thanks to you of course!”

Last year, when I was a new student fresh into high school, I was flunking tests and falling behind on assignments. Not because I couldn’t understand the material, that wasn’t the hard part, it was more just struggling with motivation and time management. A lot was going on in my personal life during my middle school years and I got so used to getting off the hook for that, I ended up having a hard time taking things seriously again in high school even though I wanted to.

So I asked our counselor if there was anything I could do to fix it and she suggested the new tutoring program they had set up. April was the senior I was assigned to. She was such a fantastic tutor that my grades shot back up after just a few sessions! And as a person, well, she’s even cooler! Being around her just energized me a lot, enough to do my assignments and even pick up some side projects for fun. It was just something about her spunky and bold personality that felt too contagious to resist. Somehow, this super amazing badass senior ended up taking enough of a liking to me that after she graduated, she asked to exchange numbers and we actually hung out sometimes over the summer. She’s been a bit busier since college, though, and I didn’t want to bother her so our talks turned more into light texts every now and then.

One thing I’ll always appreciate, though. She checked in on me during the whole Krangpocalypse and made sure I was okay. She was the only person who did. The only person who cared.

“A-actually, April? I’m having a bit of a rough time with the uh… social aspect of high school.”

“Oh boy. Talk to me.”

“Oh uh, I…” Should I really talk about Jaiden behind their back? “I mean it’s not that bad, I’m sure it’ll be fine tomorrow. It’s only a little quarrel between me and a friend. I just…” I dragged my hand away from my mouth after realizing I was biting my nails. “I don’t think I can go today. I mean, I tried! I’m literally right outside school but-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay! You’re going through a fight, I totally get it. Ugh. Darn, I don’t wanna leave you alone right now but…” she trailed off, clicking her tongue and sighing. “You know what? Whatever, we can hang. I’ve got some investigation work but you can join in. We need some adventure in ya, anyway!”

“R-really!?”

“Give me a few, I’ll come pick you up.” Beep!

Well, that went better than I thought.

After a while, April arrived in a cute, shiny yellow car. I’ve never it seen before. It didn’t look very fancy or expensive but it had a sort of comfy and almost familiar vibe to it.

“I didn’t know you had a car!” I threw my bag in the passenger seat and sat down on the one next to her.

“It’s cool, isn’t it? I got my driver’s license a few months ago and Mom surprised me with this! Comes in real handy for long-distance work. Speaking of, you okay with going out of city for this? I’m driving you home, too, obviously.” I nodded. “Still living with your aunt right?”

“Yep, same place as always.”

“Is she… any different?”

I hesitantly shook my head. “But never mind that. What exactly are we doing on this mission?”

“Glad ya asked. We are infiltrating an abandoned mineshaft near the city that I suspect is actually a front for the government to hide their new secret lab for making these super-toxic biochemical herbicides. Assuming it even is that.”

She tampered with her car buttons and displayed… a hologram? Why would a car like this have a hologram?

I suppose my confusion was blatantly on my face since April quickly explained “My friend added that feature. The car didn’t come with it, obviously.”

“Obviously. Must be a very talented friend.”

She laughed “Oh yeah, he’s real talented. And real big-headed about it. But anywho, while I first thought this was just some sorta deforestation plan commissioned by another rich hotshot, I’m having my doubts on that.” The hologram displayed a vial with glowing blue liquid in it as April continued. “This glowy blue thingy was the only thing that could hurt those alien freaks a few months ago.”

The Krang? “Hurt? Aren’t those guys like, scary tough, why would a simple herbicide hurt them? I could throw as many knives as I wanted and they’d still be barely affected.” And I know this because I literally did.

“Exactly! Why on Earth would a simple herbicide do that much damage? Some are pretty dangerous but this was on another level, I dissolved an alien eye with it! Whatever it is, it’s something dangerous. We’ve gotta break in and figure out what’s going on or at least get another lead.”

I stared out the window as she continued driving. I’ve helped April with her work before, she’s got a lot on her plate so I’m always more than happy to lend a hand. But I’ve never actually gone on a field mission with her before. My specialty was more in the research end of things. Nevertheless! I’m excited! A little nervous but it’ll probably be fine. I mean, I’ve survived against pig mutants and rabid shrew Yōkai, how worse can it get?

We arrived at our destination three hours later. I hopped out the car and April opened the trunk, getting out a fiery lime-green bat and handing me a spare metal one. “The place is supposed to be empty so I doubt we’ll need any weapons but just in case.” Honestly, judging from how crazy things have been lately, I wouldn’t be surprised if these actually did come in handy somehow.

I followed April down the quarry, stopping outside the mineshaft’s entrance. Oh, it looked abandoned, all right. The scratched off paint, rusty metal gate, it looked like no one’s been here for years!

“Damn dude, how’d you even find out about this?”

“My university used to be their old lab before a certain someone broke in and stole a bunch of their stuff.” She winked, making it very clear who that someone was. “After months of digging and chasing leads, I finally tracked this creepy rodeo down! And then found out all I really had to do was just look at the name.” She tilted my chin to look up at the sign above the mineshaft.

I squinted past the dirt and rust and read the words out loud. “Elemental Preservation Facility?”

“And what are the initials?”

“E.P.F. …Wait, E.P.F! You mean like-”

“Mhm! The government’s Earth Protection Force. It’s stupidly obvious when you think about it, must’ve been some sort of reverse psychology ploy.” Oof. If I were her, I’d be more annoyed at that. “It did start as an actual mineshaft but never got any good results so the government officially shut it down. But they never actually restored it like they usually would. Any other useless old mineshaft always gets restored.”

“If that’s the case then there’s definitely something valuable hidden in there. But… how do we get in?”

Before I could even start thinking of ideas, I flinched at the sound of April taking action…

“APRIL O’NEIL!” She swung her bat at the gate, taking it down the moment it made contact. I stood there with my jaw dropped at the pure power in her hit. Who needs plans when you’ve got an O’Neil, I suppose!

The mineshaft ended up being a long, dark tunnel of neverending nothingness for a while, filling my head with the occasional doubt if we’d ever even find anything here. After what felt like decades, we finally hit an end. The flashlight from April’s phone began getting overpowered by a different light source, one right ahead of us. A room guarded by two large doors, bright green light shining through the crack. They looked a little out of place for an abandoned mineshaft. These doors were clean, solid, new. There’s a security keypad on the side, technology that definitely doesn’t belong here.

“You don’t by any chance know what the passcode for this place is, do you?”

“Don’t need to.” She broke the damn door again. Facing me, she proudly showcased her bat to my intrigued yet terrified expression. “This bad boy can break down anything I want it to!”

“Hey, April?...” My eyes trailed past her to the strange room behind the broken door. “Did the old lab at your university look like this, too?”

The enormous, round room captivated my attention, vibrant green glow emitting from a dozen pods in the wall. They weren’t empty. There were… things inside. Creatures? Beings? They were curled up presumably asleep floating in the goo, it looked straight out of a sci-fi film. I tried taking a closer look at one of them, immediately stepping back and fucking off when I got greeted with its open eye.

“Yeesh this place looks like a weird mix between an illegal drug lab and a secret military bunker. A-are those explosives?”

“Yep. Timed explosives.” she snapped a bunch of pictures on her phone. “Look at that, they’ve got guns, too. Bet a nickel whoever built this place shoved forks in outlets as a kid.”

We wandered around a bit more trying to make sense of what this place could be. The blue not-herbicide was nowhere to be found but honestly, I have a funny feeling this is way worse. There were a few pieces of paper sprawled around on the ground. Picking them up, I called April over.

“April, check this out! There’s writing on it… I think?”

“Uh, looks more like a bunch of random scribbles to me.”

“Yeah, but look at this.” I pointed to some repeating lines in the text “It has some level of consistency. Could be encrypted text or maybe even a different language that doesn’t exist in the public domain. I’ve dabbled a bit in the conlang community before, making a new language and writing system is more common than you’d think. Not a huge stretch for a government agency to do that.”

“Welp, it’s the only physical evidence we’ve got so it’ll have to do!” She put the papers in her backpack and zipped it shut. “Besides, Donnie might be able to decipher this stuff.”

Donnie? “Huh, what a coincidence! One of my new friends is also a huge nerd named Donnie. I bet he could help, too!”

April narrowed her eyes and raised a brow “Wait, really?”

“What? Did I say something?”

Wait… What was that!? My spine tingled as I spun around frantically, trying to find the source of my uneasiness.

“What!? What’s wrong!?”

“I-I don’t know I just… I feel like someone’s watching us.”

She gasped “Look out!”

I got pushed to the side watching April swing her bat and send the large cat flying back into the wall. We jumped to the sound of hissing and growling, coming from a small pack of them surrounding us. Their striped coats resembled tabby cats but their sizes were way off. Tabby cats were tiny compared to these guys, they looked more like a small puma’s size!

“Woah!” I dodged to the side avoiding another pounce “What are these things!? They’re huge!”

“I don’t know!” She grunted, swinging the cat away “Whatever they are, they’re attacking us so we’ve gotta move!”

April grabbed my hand and we rushed to get to the other side of the room, taking the lead so she could block any attacks at us. My mind ran a mile a minute trying to make any sense of this while also not dying at the hands of a monster cat. Danger aside, I admired how well April used her bat. She strikes with pure confidence, moving with her bat as if they were one entity. I might be imagining things, but sometimes the bat feels alive, a friend to April more than a weapon.

The tabbies stopped chasing us once we were out of that room and back in the mineshaft. They stared us down, hissing as if to say “Stay out!”

April looked back, sighed, and began walking towards the mineshaft’s exit. That was until I tugged her arm to stop her.

“Salena?” She looked confused. I kept staring. “What is it?”

“Um, I know this might sound like a stretch but…” I ignored the pesky voice telling me I was insane and instead went with my gut “I think whatever creatures attacked us are related to the ones in the pods. It just doesn’t feel like they’re normal cats. The E.P.F. is up to something and I don’t think it’s good.”

She seemed conflicted, the corners of her mouth turned down “It’s not a stretch. With what just happened, I think you’re on to something. Oh boy, this is worse than I thought it’d be.”

“...We should destroy it.”

“What?”

“The lab. We don’t have any leads other than some pictures and funky text. That’s not even close to enough to figure out what’s going on and what the E.P.F. is planning to do with all of this.” I met her eyes, a worried look flashed across them. “They’ve got explosives, don’t they? We need to destroy that lab and at least hinder their progress to buy us more time.”

“Oh no no no no, hell no! You are not going back in there. I wouldn’t have even brought you here if I knew we’d be dealing with a bunch of supersized freaks!”

“And they’ve got more of those freaks inside! Who knows what they’re doing to those animals to make them so unnaturally aggressive! April, if we leave now we’re letting things continue. If we destroy the place… if we kill them we’re at least saving them from being government guinea pigs.”

“Look, I’ll come back here later and figure something out but not with you. Right now, you and I are getting out of here and I’m driving you home.”

I know she’s right. This is dangerous. Those cats had claws and teeth large enough to kill with ease, one wrong move and it’s over. But they’re still innocent animals. Living beings. They’re being toyed with and turned into monsters. I can’t just let whatever ‘mad scientist bullshit’ this is go on. Even if she comes back, what if it’s too late by then?

“April…” I backed up, gripped the metal bat, and ran back to the lab “Wait for me in the car!”

“Wha- SALENA NO!”

Sorry April.

Running through the tunnel, I built up speed, zigzagging past the big cats before they could stop me. Now back in the room, I made my way to the explosives and shoveled a bunch between my body and arm. With April gone, I had to frequently strike at the leaping felines and defend myself. The metal bat doesn’t seem as powerful as April’s, neither are my hits. But whatever, they’re getting the job done. I ran along the walls, placing an explosive on each of the twelve pods. That strangely doubled as a distraction for some of the cats since they started clawing at the explosives. I looked at the timer on them.

Ten minutes. I can make it.

Unfortunately, this time even after bolting out of the room, the giant cats kept tailing me, almost like they knew what I was doing. They hindered my progress a little, having to both stick the last of the explosives on the mineshaft walls and attack the cats till I get open space to escape. But that didn’t matter, I had to get out of here.

Only five minutes left. If there was ever a time to sprint it’d be now.

“Huh? AH!!!” A fluffy fucker slipped past my radar and leaped on me, both of us crashing into the rocky wall from impact. My bat wasn’t in my hand anymore, it fell too far from my reach.

So there I was pinned down screaming in pain as the only thing between me and a very graphic death was my poor left arm acting as a shield getting torn into by its teeth. My head was throbbing, my forehead felt slightly warm and wet. Panicked, breathless, and thinking it was the end, I closed my eyes praying the whole place just blew up before I got mauled alive.

“APRIL O’NEIL!!!” I heard the cat yowl as she thrashed it off me, pulling me up and dragging me out. “Come on!”

We dashed through the exit, up the quarry, and dove behind April’s car, far enough to not die from the explosion. I covered my ears to the earth-shattering sound.

I looked up to see April holding me tight, almost cradling me. Even despite all the jitters from the last however-long-it’s-been, her protective grip still managed to calm me down, if only a little.

The world went silent. We peeked from behind the car to the now blocked-off entrance.

“We… We did it. WE DID IT!” I got up, wincing as my head felt a little wobbly and nauseous but it was probably from the intense action just now.

“We sure did! Man, I am gonna lay in bed for the next week after this. You ready to head home?”

“Ye-”

“Don’t answer that, we’re leaving either way.” Her eyes shifted to the side of my forehead, slowly widening “Hey, are you bleeding?”

“Am I?” I touched my temple and blinked at my red fingers. I must’ve hit a rock or something?

“…Come on, we gotta get you some medical attention.”

I tried taking a step to follow her but my legs felt shaky. Everything’s sideways now, am I on the ground? My vision’s blurry. Why is April calling my name?

—

Next Chapter

#rise of the tmnt #save rottmnt #rottmnt #unpause rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the turtles #rottmnt season 3 #nickelodeon #netflix #paramount #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt oc x canon #rottmnt oc #oc x canon #rottmnt x oc #rise april #april o'neil #rottmnt april #rottmnt moths fly in packs

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ashleysmessyjourney · 2 years

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Six Weeks

I can't believe it, but it's already been a month and a half of me messing my diapers. The timer doesn't expire till late October, so I still have another 55 days of me not touching the potty for anything. I've hesitantly opened up my wishlist again if y'all want to add more time; the link is at the bottom.

Has messing myself gotten easier? Heck yea. I actually kinda like it now.

Has cleaning up gotten easier? Heck nah.

However, since I use baby wipes to clean myself off anyways, who cares where my poo ends up? Better out than in, as they say. Doesn't matter where it ends up to me.

They say that it takes two to three weeks for you to get used to a new routine, and they're right. That mental prompt that sent me to the potty whenever I felt pressure in my bowels has now been replaced by another mental prompt signaling me to stop whatever I'm doing, get on my hands and knees, and push. And frankly, all the kinkiness aside from me pooping myself on purpose, I've learned that it's easier to just poop wherever I'm at than to struggle to find a bathroom. Sure, I know where it is at home, but it's different when I'm out in public. I'm obviously not shitting myself when I'm in public, but if I'm in the car driving home, I'm not opposed to doing the deed in my diaper and just changing when I get home.

That's happened five or six times when I go shopping or when I run some errands in the morning after breakfast. I'm toooootally not setting myself up to mess outside of my home.

Nope. Couldn't be me!

It's funny to think that I'm the only adult on the road with a diaper full of you know what.

Anyways, I didn't really enjoy messing until I embraced it full time. I wouldn't say I hated it before, but I sure didn't like it. Like, if it had to happen, then it had to happen, but now that I'm doing it all the time, though, I'm seeing more benefits than negatives. If you're living by yourself, I think you should give it a shot for a week or so and see what you think. Don't knock it till you try it!

I've kinda gotten over the ickiness of messing my diaper because now it's just something I do now; it's becoming my new normal. Like I said earlier, I used to get down and push as soon as I felt like I had to poop. I would then change immediately after I emptied myself, but now I'm making myself stay in the messy diaper for a couple minutes more each time. I'm not trying to catch any kind of bladder or skin infection here, but a small part of me (that's growing a bit more each day) finds messing my diapers to be downright naughty.

Maaaaaaybe it's because I'm using my vibrator when I'm messing. =P

I'm literally taking a page out of my own book by making myself associate pleasure from the vibrator with messing myself. If I reward myself with enough playtime with the vibrator while I mess myself, I think we'll see more positive results.

It's kinda funny now because unlike before, as soon as I feel like I might have to poop, I'm not trying to hold it anymore. My body knows in the back of my head that I'm totally 100% protected anyways, so I can honestly say that it's a relief that I don't have to worry about that anymore, especially if I'm busy or in the middle of something.

I do still have to be careful around other people, though. Certain poses make me feel a tiny bit of uncertainty about my level of control and if I'm not giving it my full attention, I'm a little afraid that I'll let a little something out when I didn't mean to. Anyways, I'm really grateful for all the support, especially all the diapers! I've definitely been using a lot more diapers than usual because of this challenge, so I'd say it's been working out pretty well so far!

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undiscovered-horizon · 2 years

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"Sick leave" - Yandere!Billy Russo x Reader

[TW: yandere trope/obsessive behavior + drug/medicine abuse + talk of murder and corpses + insults + nightmare]

SUMMARY: He didn't want you to go out with that guy, obviously. And you weren't open to his criticism, which left Billy with only one option - a necessary evil but he needed to buy himself some time, somehow. Where did he get paroxetine anyway?

Previously on Yandere!Billy Russo: ['There's something in the shadows'] ['Moving houses'] ['The art of deception']

Author's note: The fact that I have fun writing unhinged characters might not be a healthy thing lmao. This is getting progressively worse in the best possible way y'all

Continuation: ['Boobytraps']

He was livid and mainly because he was jealous, silently eating his breakfast as he watched you, too happy for his liking.

"Will that be too much for a casual dinner?" you asked him. Billy had a vague idea that you were talking about your clothes but was too busy brooding to pay attention to anything that you have been saying for the past 10 minutes.

"You worry too much, (Y/N)," he answered in the calmest tone he was able to produce. "It's gon' be fine."

"I haven't been on a date in months, I feel like I'm a schoolgirl again." Billy didn't want to admit that he was the sole reason none of your dates have worked out since you met him because then he would have only himself to blame for this entire situation and the anger that made foam form at his lips.

He wanted to punch something. Someone, preferably. You were so bright, giddy and happy, worried about what to wear, what makeup to do and what perfume to use and none of it was for him but for some whatshisface, who was probably just a troglodyte unable to see past your gorgeous face. Billy wanted to scream, kick and devastate whatever he could to take out the jealousy that boiled inside him. He was taking care of you, making you happy, getting rid of all the distractions separating you two and your undivided attention, as well as affection, were to be shoved into some stranger's hands. Unacceptable! Suddenly, Billy felt the urge to throw up thinking about you and your date being closer than six feet apart. He already planned to get rid of that audacious chimpanzee you were going out with but first, he needed the time to carry out his plan without raising your suspicion.

Suddenly, your phone started ringing from the bedroom and Billy was a breath away from believing in some higher power rooting for him.

"If it's Carol asking me to cover for her again, I'm going to throw hands, I swear to God," you said more to yourself than to him as you walked towards the bedroom, leaving the dress you wanted to wear hanging over the back of the chair you were sitting in before.

Billy watched as you disappeared behind the corner and, with exceptional speed, pulled out a small bottle of medicine from his pocket. Paroxetine. Carefully, he put two of those pink pills into your hot coffee, stirring the drink with the unused end of his knife. When you came back into the kitchen, there was no indication he had done something not quite correct. Billy's eyes trailed your movements as you took a sip of your coffee, frantically messaging someone with irritation. You haven't noticed anything weird about your drink. He smiled, knowing that his plan was going to work out.

"What?" you asked noticing the sudden change in his expression. "What's so funny?"

"I'm happy seeing you happy, sweetheart," he answered innocently. It wasn't exactly a lie, just not the whole truth.

"I'll drink to that," you joked and downed the rest of your coffee. Billy finished his breakfast completely content. He always gets what he wants.

"Hey, Billy," you dragged out the last syllable of his name. Something about you whining out his name made his heart do backflips while simultaneously his pants became a little tighter. The pout on your face made his conflicting sensations only stronger. "Can you check my temperature? I feel weird and not the fun kind."

"You can just text him you've changed your mind, you know?" he joked while putting the back of his hand against your forehead, almost missing the quiet 'not funny, Bill' you mumbled under your nose. Of course you didn't have a fever, he didn't need to check. The medicine has started to work as he had expected and that meant he could carry out the main part of his plan: "whatshisface goes down" or something like that.

"Just when I score a date with a hot guy I get sick." Billy thought your groan was adorable but wanted to tear apart his house hearing that you called someone who wasn't him 'hot'.

"Get some rest, darlin'," he said while fighting back the burning urge to kiss your forehead, although he knew you well enough to know that you wouldn't mind. It was more of a survival instinct that made him stop himself: if he indulges, just a little, there was no telling how much deeper the chasm of his obsessive madness will get and lack of control was something Billy feared more than anything. If he places his lips against your skin once, he wasn't sure he would have the strength to stop himself.

Billy waited until you were asleep to block your would-be date's number and left the apartment knowing that his whole operation had to be fit into 3 hours to not raise suspicion. He set his watch to count down from 180 minutes.

Although it wasn't the first time he dug a hole, it was definitely the first time he had to dig a grave and twice as deep, which was even harder considering that the dirt in the forest was damp, making it significantly heavier. To any possible observators, it would be quite impressive how effortlessly he threw the corpse into the hole. Then he covered the bagged body with a deer carcass, to throw off the tracking dogs if anyone actually cared enough about that guy to call the police.

"Serves you right," Billy said triumphantly to the corpse before he buried the body for good.

When he arrived home, twelve minutes before his timer ends, you were still in bed but not asleep anymore. Your body looked pathetically tiny, all curled up on his bed. He really wanted to get in there, lay with his arms around you but if you were to believe you were sick, he couldn't. There was a glass of water and some Advil on the bedside table.

"Feelin' better?" he asked. There was still some dirt on his fingers.

"No." Your sultry answer was barely audible from underneath the covers.

You woke up with sweat running down your body, damping your pajamas. The images from your nightmares were still fresh in your memory, flashes of horrifying scenes appearing whenever you closed your eyes: everyone who has left your life in the past few months suddenly reappearing and taking their sweet but sick revenge on you as if their sudden absence was completely your fault.

Feeling absolutely lost and confused in your terror and imagined guilt, you rubbed your eyes and sat up on the bed. Light from the streetlamps crept into the bedroom through the window, not seeming romantic anymore but very unsettling. Suddenly, the room felt very big, very lonely and impossibly dark, walls closing in on you and threatening to suffocate you. The closet door stood horrifyingly still as if waiting for the moment you look away to be opened by a creature too inhumanly terrifying to be comprehended by a human mind. You felt yourself jump at every creak that reached your ears. Tears of panic were stinging your eyes when you left the bed and, shaking slightly, hastily made your way to the living room where Billy slept.

You didn't want to be alone. Not after what you have seen in your nightmare.

"Hey, Billy," you whispered to him, your voice trembling slightly. He stirred awake almost immediately. Were all ex-marines light sleepers? "Sorry for waking you up but...I had a nightmare and I don't want to be alone."

Yes, that was mentioned on the bottle of paroxetine.

"Come 'ere," he said groggily as he pulled back the blanket he slept under, pretending as if your fearful voice didn't make him go absolutely feral inside. Whatever got you into such headspace, deserved to die in the most gruesome of ways.

But there was something positive in this 'unfortunate' occurence. You came to him looking for comfort. Maybe there is some higher power rooting for Billy, after all.

"Sorry for waking you up," you repeated as you crawled under the blanket, curling up on top of him. You were so small and vulnerable, he could do anything to you at that moment and it riled him up pretty badly. Billy's hands wrapped around you and he was about to burst feeling your cheek against his chest. It was the happiest moment of his life. You thought to yourself that for a lean man, he was very comfortable to lay on. "I'm probably gonna make you sick, so sorry for that too."

"Just get some sleep, princess. I've got you," he said quietly as he gently rubbed your back as if he was afraid that the moment would fade away, like a dream of a lover, should he make a more aggressive gesture. It felt absolutely right to Billy to have you in his arms, the safest and warmest place he could think of. The fact that you came to him looking for comfort was but a symptom of your growing affection towards him. Did you feel safer with him around? Was he the person you thought of going to when you have a problem? Was he the man you felt like you could depend on? Billy happily entertained the thought of you slowly realizing that no one can ever love you as much as he does.

He always got what he wanted and tonight he made two scores for the price of one.

____

@tnrthings

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msmarvelwrites · 3 years

Text

For Old Times' Sake

Summary: “Years you had craved to hear your name spoken from his lips. Countless nights, forcing yourself to remember how it fell from his tongue,”

Pairing: TFATWS Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Explicit sexual content, Vaginal penetration, fingering, Choking, Bucky with the filthy words, mutual pining.

Word Count: 2.8K

Authors Note: WOW! It has literally been a hot minute hasn't it? I cant say that I’m not a little excited about this 3rd lock-down in Ontario because it means I can actually find time to write. I’m sorry it’s been so long, babes. Anyways, enjoy! (I’m actually the worst and it’s been so long since I’ve done this!) The Biggest Thank You to @sweeterthanthis for literally cheering me on the entire time. This was such garbage before you came along 😂 I had so much fun with this one babe 💕 thank you for all you do ✨

The wind whipped against your face, bruising your skin with it’s callousness. Though the unwelcomed lash was nothing compared to what was to come. Or who, for that matter.

It had been longer than you cared to admit. The dodged calls hanging at the bottom of the icon on your phone serving as a cruel reminder of how cold you had been. Of course, it was never in your job description to take care of Bucky after Steve left— but there was an implication that made you run for the hills.

You couldn't do anything for him - give him anything. The last five years had consisted of running and trying to start over.

Besides, after the Accords, in the government's eyes you were just as fucked as Hydra. An ally turned fugitive the moment you’d chosen your side in that airport. You’d fight with yourself most nights that you decided with your head, but your first evening with a man who had bruised your lips with promises of what would come may have had more pull than anything else.

The same man that had called you every week for the past six months… The same man you had spent countless nights with, years of your life you would never be able to scrub away, no matter how hard you tried.

You had watched from afar as half of the world returned, their loved ones welcoming them home with teary eyes and broken hearts. You watched as he came home. His eyes, always scanning the crowds waiting for you. Waiting to see your face.

It made all of this so, so much worse. This was definitely not the homecoming you could have hoped for.

“We’re nearing the drop.” Your comm’s rang with a woman's voice who had helped smuggle you onto the craft. You weren’t exactly welcome in europe at the moment- or anywhere for that matter. The government did not take lightly to your’s and Sharon’s betrayal. You’d think that after everything the world had seen they would be a little more forgiving, but you couldn't exactly blame them for their trust issues either.

You could, however, blame yourself.

As soon as your feet hit the ground you were off. The distress call had come from Sam earlier that evening and now with the sun setting you could only hope you weren't too late. You tried to push the man who had haunted your thoughts for the past few years out of your head, desperate to focus on the task at hand.

Bullets exploded through the air, a warning as you were approaching the large shipping container unit. Your comms went static as they began to connect with Sam’s, his voice ringing through your ears as—

“Sam, a little help here!”

His voice stopped you dead in your tracks.

“I’m on my way - called in some back up.” Sam grunted as the sound of strangled yelps echoed around you.

“Back up? Who do we know that-” Bucky’s words were cut short as he let out a growl, the sound of his vibranium arm whirling in the background.

You rushed in without a second thought, the sound of his pain too raw as it ripped through your chest. Before you could assess the danger, you charged forward, hurling yourself at a large man pointing his gun right at-

With a loud thud, the man hit the ground. Your combat boot, heavy on his throat until he went still, and with it came silence. It was deafening despite the explosive gunfire around you.

“Y/n?”

Your name ripped through the air, but you couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze. Back turned and body rigid, you were frozen in place. Years you had craved to hear your name spoken from his lips. Countless nights, forcing yourself to remember how it fell from his tongue, soft and get so personal. Like no one had spoken it before.

“Y/n, what are you-”

Sam's voice cut the newly cropped brunettes words off, “I got two coming in on your left, Buck. Oh- and welcome back, Y/L/N.”

You smiled sheepishly at Bucky, pulling your gun from its holster and flicking the safety off as you closed your distance with him. Despite the aggravation apparent on his face, a broken smile seemed to be pulling at the corners of his lips.

“Here we go again, huh?” You chimed, your eyes locking with his just as all hell broke loose.

The trip back to Sam and Bucky’s base was one filled with uncomfortable silence, and a tension that had your blood running cold.

Once the adrenaline of the fight had worn off and you were left face to face with Bucky Barnes, the guilt began to creep in.

“So…” Sam started from the backseat of the beat-up truck, the suddenness of his words startling both you and Bucky for a moment. “Long time no see.”

The scoff that left Bucky’s lips wasn't as subtle as you imagined he meant it to be. You tried not to let it bother you; in fact, you had prepared for this. How he might react when you finally returned home. What you weren't prepared for, however, was how indescribably gutted you would feel to watch him - eyes trained to the road ahead - as he gritted his teeth at your proximity.

To say that yours and Bucky’s relationship before the snap was easy would be incredibly delusional. It was messy and at it’s best dysfunctional. But for whatever reason, the two of you looked beyond that. He saw through you like no one ever had and before you knew it, the two of you were glued at the hip. It didn't make sense, but no questions were ever asked.

You just fit.

And of course there was the sex. Good god, you could feel your thighs clenching at the thought.

The way’s Bucky knew how to take you apart, with an accuracy that only he had. How he had your toes curling and body vibrating from the flick of his tongue. How he would have you screaming the most filthy things for him, all while begging to never ever—

“Y/n?”

Sam’s voice was like an ice bath. Your name yanking you back into the present and the question at hand. What was the question again? You couldn't think straight. Not when Bucky was staring at you the way he was, one brow cocked and that same familiar smirk plastered on his lips. If you didn't know any better, you’d think he could read your thoughts.

“Sorry- I… I was…” You couldn't seem to bring yourself back to this realm, too lost in the Super Soldier’s stormy eyes to remember what exactly you were trying to say.

“He asked you where you’ve been, Y/n.” Bucky spoke your name like it was a curse, laced with razor sharp ache and pain. His eyes told a different story though. The way he looked at you; the same way he always did.

With a warmth that only he had for you. It made you shiver.

“Running, mostly.” You started, your body physically breaking your gaze with Bucky. It was too much, watching him glare down at you. And maybe you deserved it.

“And you never thought to, I don't know, call me?” Bucky’s words were spiteful, oozing with a disdain that was beginning to wear down your patience.

“It wasn't like that, Buck-”

“You can’t call me that anymore.” He snapped, his eyes trained on the road. Your gaze snapped to him, brow arched as you all but scoffed at him.

“Oh, I can't?” You chuckled, but the sound came out flat. He had every right to ask you where you've been. Hell, get angry if he wanted. But the way his words seeped with disgust made your blood boil.

“Okay, okay guys. Let’s all take a breath and just—”

“Shut up, Sam.” You both snarled, causing Sam to roll his eyes as Bucky pulled into a long winding driveway with a small log cabin sat at the end of it. You reached for your seatbelt until your door swung open.

“You two figure your shit out. Whatever this is,” Sam motioned to the space between you two, “ isn’t leaving this car. I’ll be inside. Feel free to come in when y'all have killed and made up, okay?” With that, Sam slammed the door leaving Bucky and you alone in your static tension.

Bucky worried on his lip, his eyes trained to his lap. You opened your mouth to speak, but your words seemed caught in your throat.

“You didn't even call…”

It was so quiet, you almost didn't hear it. But you did…

Voice small and so filled with ache; it kicked you in the stomach, the guilt washing away any anger you had felt.

“Bucky… I- I couldn't.” You forced out, tentative as you met his gaze, stomach dropping as your eyes locked with his.

“I thought I lost you. I thought - I mean, fuck - you were all I cared about.” He sighed, clearing his throat as if it would help ease his discomfort. “I looked for you, ya know?” He chuckled, but there was no warmth behind it. Just a brokenness that made you squirm.

“It’s not your fault—”

“Oh, I know it’s not.” Bucky quipped, his eyes flicking away from yours and turning back to face the cabin. “It was your own selfish decision.”

You scoffed, head snapping back to meet his glare. “Selfish? Bucky, I had no other choice. Not everyone can be pardoned for their crimes. It’s not like I had Steve Rogers advocating for my freedom!”

Bucky only rolled his eyes, hands gripping the steering wheel so tight, you swore he might rip it clean off the car. “Don’t bring him into this. You don't think that I would have done everything to get to you? To clear your name?”

You laughed bitterly, blinking away the tears that welled at the corners of your eyes.

“You gotta at least give me more credit than that, Doll.” The pet name rolled off this tongue easily, washing over you, and making you freeze.

“Please don’t call me that…” You faltered, wiping away a stray tear that rolled down your cheek.

It seemed the tension dissipated in that moment, silence heavy between you both as Bucky reached out, his flesh fingers finding a tear and brushing it away. You tried to speak, but with everything that had been said, and all that would never be, you decided words just weren’t enough.

You didn't have time to object before his lips were on yours, your body moving at its own accord as he pulled you onto his lap, your thighs either side of him as his tongue swept across your bottom lip. You tried to moan, but his mouth swallowed the sound. He rendered you breathless, his taste intoxicating as you melted into his embrace, grinding into him and shivering when a familiar growl slipped from his lips; vibrating against your mouth.

“Fuck, I missed you.” You moaned out, clutching his jacket as you licked down his neck. His skin was burning against your lips, the rumble of his breath heavy against your ear as he let out a dark chuckle, urging you on.

“Well, if you had just called me—”

Before he could finish the sentence, you reached for the recliner, snapping it forward as you toppled forwards onto Bucky’s chest. His words fell back into his throat, hands automatically finding your hips to steady you while you fumbled with his belt.

“Doll—” He tried to start, but you swallowed the name with your kiss, heated and rooted in a desperate need to feel him again. You ached for him in a way you’d never felt before.

Maybe what you had was unfixable. Maybe it was beyond repair, but with the way he was kissing you and hiking down your pants, it didn't matter. You were drunk on him, and by the way he bucked his hips, so was he.

You shivered as his vibranium fingers looped into the waistband of your panties, pulling them down over your legs as you both awkwardly tried to move in the cramped seat. You wanted to laugh, but as his cold thumb swiped through your slick folds, all you could do was whine.

“So wet for me…” He hummed, teeth sinking into your throat as he pulled a whimper from your lips.

You cursed, hands propping you up on either side of him as he dipped his index finger into you, the intrusion enough to have your back arching into him, desperate for more.

But Bucky was a tease. And even now, after all of this time, it was the very thing that had your buckling above him. Pleading and begging for more.

“Look at you.” He started, his eyes dark as he pushed deeper inside, his finger curing into you as you gasped.

“P-please, Buck.” You begged, grinding down onto his hand. To your dismay he only chuckled, watching intently as you came undone around him.

“I told you,” He started, lifting you off of him and tossing you against the backseats, “Don’t call me that.”

You couldn't help the giggle that bubbled out of your throat as he awkwardly crawled towards you. But the look in his eyes had your stomach twisting into something that emulated fear. It was guttural as he pressed into you, the outline of his cock digging into your drenched folds.

You bit back a moan, eyes rolling back in your head as his cold fingers brushed against your core, pulling himself free from his boxers.

“Do you still love me like you did?” He spoke, and though the words were soft and filled with promises you had broken before, there was a darkness in his voice.

“I never stopped.” You admitted. And it was true. But that didn't seem to be the answer he was looking for as he licked his bottom lip, eyes trained on your throat.

“I’m afraid isn’t gonna’ feel much like love, doll.” He breathed out, lining himself up with your entrance. Before you could speak, he thrusted into you, knocking the air out of your chest as he bent you uncomfortably in half. You could only scream as he caged you in, forcing you down against the seats as he fucked into you.

It’s not like you forgot how Bucky filled you, but his size was something you would never be able by to fully adjust to. Especially not now, when he was holding you steady, his hips snapping against you giving you no time to ease into the assault. And by the looks of the lopsided smirk plastered on his swollen lips, he knew exactly how shredded you felt.

“Fuck, you take me so good, sweetheart.” The pet name doing nothing to quell the ache he sent ripping through your body as he sank deeper into you. You could only cry out, head smashing into the door as he kept up his brutal pace.

“B-Bucky, please.” You weren't exactly sure what you were asking for, but at this rate you wouldn't last long, the familiar coil building in your abdomen as he nudged up against your cervix.

“Slow down, baby.” You choked on a sob, eyes glassy as his vibranium fingers coiled around you thoat, pining you to the seats.

“Did you miss this part, doll?” He whispered against your ear, a shiver ripping through your body and igniting a flame you had so desperately craved since the moment he vanished from your world. “Miss the way I ruin you, Hm? I can feel you, coming undone. You’re so close, aren’t you?” he teased, pressing his fingers deeper into your throat until you were coughing around the pressure.

“All I need to do is-” His flesh thumb ran circles against your clit, your eyes rolling back into your skull as you croaked out his name, begging him to ease up. “There it is.” He chuckled, quickening his pace until you were a shivering mess beneath him.

“Bucky, I-”

“I’m going to ruin this cunt, sweetheart. Stay still, and let go for me” His voice was like gravel, only letting you breathe once you nodded your head in complicity, pulling your bottom lip into your mouth as the orgasm wrapped itself around your core.

“Fuck.” You managed to scream, your head lulling back as a title-wave of ecstasy crashed over you, pulling you under.

“That’s my girl.” His words tipped you over the edge, his name on your lips like a prayer as you quivered, your body violently shaking. “God you're so tight when you- Shit!”

With a few sloppy thrusts, Bucky came undone. His hot spend coating your pulsing walls as he gasped. Your bodies a tangled mess as he puffed out a breath against your neck.

You both just stayed frozen, too afraid that the moment you pulled away, reality would sink in. And the truth was, you weren't exactly sure what that meant.

Bucky slowly eased himself out of you, gasping a little as you spilled out onto, what you only hoped, would be easy to clean seats.

“Doll, that was-”

“Hey,” Sam knocked hard against the now foggy glass, “You two hungry, or what?”

#bucky x reader #bucky barns x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #tfatws

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nicole-lynne · 3 years

Text

Pool Party Disaster

Notes: Well y'all, because I'm the worst, this has been sitting in my drafts for the better part of a year. It was supposed to be for @kayteewritessteve's writing challenge...and then I lost every single motivation I had to do anything I enjoyed. So it's 100% late and who knows how it really turned out. But I finished it so here ya go!

Description: Steve and you are in a secret relationship, but it may not be so secret anymore after some semi-public sex.

Based off the prompt: "I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one would notice."

Warnings: NSFW +18. Minors DNI.

You watched lazily as a bead of water rolled down Steve’s shoulder blade, past the dip of his back, and disappeared into his swim shorts. In a large group of people, you knew you should look away, but it felt impossible to drag your eyes away from the place where the shorts hugged his muscular thighs.

“You know you’re drooling, right?”

Snapping your eyes in the other direction, you shifted to find Bucky hovering behind your chair with an annoying smirk on his face. Folding your arms roughly, you ignored the heat in your cheeks. “I was not.”

“Yes, you were.” Bucky said as he moved to sit in the pool chair next to you. “But it’s okay, I don’t think anyone else saw.”

“There was nothing for anyone else to see anyways.” You said snarkily.

“You two aren’t discrete at all, you know? Steve practically popped a boner when you walked out in your suit. Somehow all these other idiots just haven’t put two and two together yet.”

Truthfully, you weren’t surprised that Bucky had figured it out. He was Steve’s best friend and a trained assassin. It’d been more surprising to you that it had taken him this long. You and Steve had started this, whatever this was, over a month ago and no one had mentioned it yet.

There was a part of you that wanted to deny it just for the satisfaction of seeing Bucky question himself, but the other part felt relieved that someone finally knew. And as you glanced over at Steve, laughing with Thor about something, you knew, no one denies Steve Roger. He’s the kind of guy that girls trip over themselves to get a few moments of attention.

“Look, Buck-”

“It’s fine, it’ll be our little secret.” He squeezed your arm lightly, clearly seeing all of the thoughts on your face. “Why not let you two have your fun while you can. You know Tony will blow a gasket once he finds out.”

The idea of your brother finding out about your budding romance with the supersoldier wasn’t exactly something you wanted to think about today. Clearing your throat, you gave Bucky a smirk with a bit of gratefulness behind it.

“Although, I’m still amazed you’ve been able to keep it a secret from the little play-boy genius.”

“It’s not like we’re making out right in front of him, Buck.” You said, irritated.

“No, you were just practically undressing him with your eyes like a love-sick teenager.” Bucky guffawed loudly, and you shoved him backwards futilely. He stayed planted to the chair, snorting at your weak attempt. “Okay, fine, I’ll drop it. I’m just saying, you better get a plan together before Tony stumbles upon it on his own. After the Accords and...well, you know he’s not Steve, or my, biggest fan.”

“I know...you know I don’t blame either of you for that though.”

“We know you don’t, doll. It’s still hard to live with.” Bucky said with a grimace.

“Buck, it wasn’t you. And I’m glad Steve protected you from Tony. You’re his best friend and he needs you in his life.” Reaching forward, you squeezed his hand until he looked up at you. “Besides, who else would annoy me if you weren’t around.”

“You know you love me.” He scoffed, giving you a big grin. “So what are you guys gonna do?”

“Eventually, we’ll work on a plan, but for right now, thanks for keeping it quiet. You’re a great friend, even if you are a sadistic ass sometimes.” You smiled and patted his leg before standing up and moving towards the patio door that entered into the huge kitchen.

To your back, Bucky shouted, “Baby, you don’t even know the half of it,” making you shake your head and giggle. Sliding the door closed, the rest of the noise from the backyard hushed to a dull roar.

You made your way toward the island, in search of something to snack on. Finally you located some tostitos - score! Pulling out a handful of chips, you turned to watch the party through the glass panes that took up the whole fourth wall.

You were pretty sure that Tony had invited the entire company for his barbeque and no one dared to decline. He wasn’t exactly scary or anything, but he definitely liked things a specific way and he always made a mental note if someone wronged him - in his eyes. That was the reason it was so hard to admit this thing with Steve. It wasn’t a secret that Tony didn’t like Steve and he wouldn’t be too happy to know that his little sister might be falling - hard - for the supersoldier.

The sound of the door opening and closing brought you back to reality and you looked up to find Steve watching you intensely from the other side of the kitchen. The light framed him, reflecting on the few drops of water on his chest, and his hair was spiked from where he’d run his fingers through it.

“Hey there, soldier.” You said, smiling sweetly at him.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He replied, walking around the island to you. “You look like you’re having fun.”

“Yeah, it’s alright. Not as much fun since we have to keep our distance.”

“Seemed like Bucky was keeping you company.” He said curtly, his gaze focused on the solo cup on the counter.

You raised an eyebrow, “um, yeah I guess so.” Steve hmphed grumpily. “He was teasing me about being so obvious while I checked you out. He said we’re not discrete enough to be having such a naughty fling.”

Surprised, Steve lifted his eyes to meet yours. “Oh. I thought... Well, I thought he might be-”

“Hitting on me?”

“Something like that.”

Reaching forward, you slipped your hand into his. “He wouldn’t be dumb enough to do that, Steve, when I’m so obviously into you. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you all afternoon.”

Steve let out a breathy laugh and shook his head. “I’m sorry, doll. I guess it’s just seeing you like this has my head all cloudy. It’s hard not to imagine every guy being attracted to you looking like that.”

“Are you serious? I’ve been watching these vultures circle you all day hoping to get a shred of your attention. It’s ridiculous.” You laughed haughtily and hopped up to sit on the counter top. “I think one girl jumped into the pool in front of you like six times trying to catch your eye.”

“Really? I haven’t even noticed.” Steve said, amusement in his voice, as he moved to stand between your legs. “I was too busy focusing on how incredible you look and how much I wanted to have you wrapped around me.”

You let out a shuddered breath as he dipped his head down to press a kiss against your exposed shoulder while his hand moved under your top and pinched your hard nipple. Every time he talked like that, so different from his public image, it made you black out. There was only the tiniest voice telling you that anyone could walk in at any moment.

“You’ve got to stop talking like that or I won’t be able to control myself.” You panted, glancing over your shoulder to make sure no one had spotted you through the tinted glass.

Steve’s lips trailed up your neck until his teeth nipped at your earlobe, sending a shiver down your spine. “What if I don’t want you to control yourself?”

Lord have mercy, this man was going to kill you.

“I’ve been so desperate to have you all day, sweetheart. I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one would notice.”

“What if someone’s watching?”

“No one’s watching us. They’re all too scared of Tony to look for us.” His fingers on his free hand traced back and forth along the tops of your thighs, leaving goose bumps where he touched.

“Aren’t you?” You forced yourself to ask.

Steve leaned back to look at you, “Scared of Tony? Nah. I’ve fought him for the people I love before, and I’ll do it again if I have to.”

You couldn’t help the smile that grew from his words and shifted closer to his body, letting the heat of his skin radiate through you.

Breaking the silence, Steve’s gruff voice said, “Now do you want to explain why you snuck out of my bed before I could have my way with you this morning.”

You hadn’t meant to leave him hanging this morning, but you’d been late for your meeting already, and if the hard-on pressed against your ass was any indication for how the rest of your morning would go, you couldn’t risk being any later.

“I-I was late for a meeting that I couldn’t miss.” You managed to stutter as his mouth trailed down and sucked on the pulse point in your neck, knowing that always drove you crazy. “I’ll make it up to you tonight, I promise.”

“I don’t want to wait until tonight,” He nudged your thighs apart more and ran his index finger along the edge of thin material covering you, rolling your nipple with the other hand. “I want you now.”

Before you could protest, he pressed his thumb against your clit through the bottoms and captured your mouth in a kiss, swallowing your moan happily. Your lips parted and his tongue slipped against yours. In just a few moments, he had you worked up and you were grateful that the swimsuit was absorbent. Then, with no hesitation, he broke your kiss and dropped to his knees, his pupils blown with lust.

“Steve,” you hissed, “what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I’ve been dying to taste you, sweetheart.” He said as he pulled the fabric to the side hastily and ran his tongue through your slit. Your mouth fell open in a silent moan and, instantly, you ran your fingers through his hair. “God you’re amazing.”

“Don’t stop.” You breathed out.

Quickly, he sucked your clit and flicked his tongue back and forth over it, causing your eyes to roll back with intense pleasure. His finger teased at your entrance and, with one look up to your blissed-out face, he pushed in one finger to the knuckle.

As slow as he could, he dragged his finger out of you, hooking it just right against your g-spot, then pushed it back in. Each time, playing with your clit in the same rhythm. You were dripping wet but Steve wasn’t letting any of it go to waste. The warm feeling was growing in the pit of your stomach and you knew this orgasm wouldn’t take long at all.

You were beginning to regret not waking him up this morning.

His other hand cupped your ass and pulled you closer to his face just in time for him to hit your g-spot and your clit at the same time, pushing you just over that edge. Fire raced through your veins as you rode out your high, his moans sent vibrations through your body that made you buck against him harder. His hands gripped you tightly to keep you sat on the counter until you started to come down, his mouth still working against you in gentle motions before letting your suit snap back into place.

Slowly, he pressed a soft kiss to each of your thighs and stood up, letting you pull him in for a kiss and you moaned as the taste of yourself hit your tongue. You let your hands roam down his chest to stop at the top of his shorts. Only hesitating for a second, you pulled them down enough to reveal how hard Steve was.

“Can I fuck you, baby?” His breathing was ragged, his lips brushed against yours, as you pumped him in your hand.

All your inhibitions went out the window and all you could do was whimper in response. With one swift motion, he jerked your suit to the side and pushed into you, both of you groaning in pleasure. He didn’t pause to give you time, instead, he began thrusting into you mercilessly.

Your head tipped back, letting him drop his lips to your exposed neck. He slammed into you over and over, rocking your body on the counter, and you dug your nails into his shoulder, desperate for something to ground you.

“Feels so good, sweetheart.” Steve murmured. “Were made for my cock.”

His dirty words made you moan, and you tightened your legs around his waist in response. Slipping his hands under your ass, he lifted you up so he was hitting a deeper angle. With the change, you slipped your hand between your bodies and started circling your clit, bringing your orgasm closer.

“Don’t stop, Captain.” You huffed.

The second you used his title, his eyes darkened with lust and his speed picked up as he stroked into you roughly. Each time, he hit the perfect spot and your eyes rolled back in your head. Your hand had stopped moving, distracted by what Steve was doing. Pushing your hand to the side, Steve moved into the spot and rubbed in sync with his movements.

“You gonna be a good little girl and cum for me?” He growled.

A few more thrusts and your orgasm washed over you and you clenched around his dick in pleasure. Immediately, he attached his lips to yours in a passionate kiss and you slipped your hand into his hair to tug him closer. He pulled out of you two more times before he faltered and his own orgasm hit him. You could feel him pulsing in you and there was no stopping your own body squeezing him for everything he had.

Both of you were panting, trying to catch your breath, occasionally making eye contact and laughing about what had just happened. Gently, he pulled out of you and tucked himself back into his shorts before reaching for a few napkins on the counter and cleaned you up as best as he could.

“Thanks, soldier.” You giggled, adjusting your suit bottoms.

Steve opened his mouth to respond when FRIDAY interrupted. “Mr. Stark requests your presence in the study.” All the bliss drained from your body instantly. You whipped your head around to look at Steve but his face was already hard as stone. Sliding off the counter, you dragged yourself toward the study with Steve trailing behind you, silent as a shadow. You lingered at the door for a moment before pushing the door open and walking in.

Behind the desk, Tony sat back in his plush chair with his hands steepled together. His lips were tight together in a harsh line and he was glaring daggers into Steve behind you.

“On the counter? Really? I eat there.” Was all he said.

“H-how did you know?” You squeaked.

“I always ask FRIDAY to inform me of any... inappropriate behavior when I throw a party.” Tony raised a brow incredulously, “People are animals and can’t keep their hands off each other in public, clearly.”

“Hey,” Steve snapped, “keep it respectful.”

“Why don’t you take your own advice, Cap.” Tony jumped up. “That’s my little sister you had your filthy hands all over.”

You blanched at the thought of Tony seeing what you’d just done.

“I’m sorry that you had to find out this way, but that doesn’t give you the right to judge either of us.” Steve took a step toward Tony. “I’m well aware of some of your indiscretions in your past.”

“Indiscretions are way different from absolute betrayal.”

“I think you’re being a little dramatic now, Tony.” Steve ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “I think I deserve to be dramatic after my sister was being railed on my kitchen counter.”

“That’s enough,” Steve stood in front of Tony and balled a fist into his shirt roughly, “you’re not going to talk about her like that again.”

Neither of them paying attention to you, you backed up and dropped onto the couch. Tears swelled in your eyes and rolled down your cheeks. This was the worst case scenario of your brother finding out - no, this hadn’t even come up in your list of worst case scenarios. You were absolutely mortified that a moment like that had been captured on camera.

Not able to stop it, a sob slipped from you and you buried your face in your hands. Steve’s eyes moved from Tony’s face down to you, instantly releasing Tony’s shirt and moving to your side.

“Sweetheart, don’t cry.” He wrapped his arm over your shoulder and tucked you into his chest, making you cry harder, your body shaking violently.

“Ahh kid, I...” Tony trailed off, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Steve glared at Tony harshly, then leaned down to kiss your head. “Baby, I need you to try and take some deep breaths. Can you do that for me?”

Lifting your chin with his fingers, he waited patiently until you made eye contact with him. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying, but Steve didn’t judge, only waited until you nodded slightly. He took a deep breath and you followed his motions, inhaling deeply, holding at the top, and releasing it slowly.

Steve held your focus as he breathed with you until you stopped shaking and the tears were dried on your cheeks. He gently cradled your face, wiping your cheeks with his thumbs, before kissing the tip of your nose.

You knew, without a doubt, that you loved Steve more than anyone you’d ever been with. The fact that he’d helped you through this breakdown had just made it more clear that he was the one you wanted to be with. Your eyes fluttered shut and you worked up the courage to look at your brother. Turning to him, you grimaced at the blank look on his face.

“I’m sorry about how you found out, Ton. But I’m not sorry for loving Steve. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m not going to let your own emotional problems get in the way of my happiness.” You croaked, your throat raw from crying.

Tony’s face fell and he had the decency to look ashamed. “Kid, I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry for what I said. I guess I was just in shock at...”

“I know this isn’t easy for you, but believe me, this wasn’t how I wanted you to find out either.” Steve squeezed your hand in support and you gave him a small smile.

“You really care about her, Rogers?”

“No, Tony.” Steve said and your head snapped up to see him grinning at you, “I love her. I’m in love with her.”

Not having a care in the world, you launched yourself at him to give him a huge kiss. Steve chuckled but kissed you back with the same enthusiasm. Tony groaned and grumbled until you leaned back, a blush on your cheeks.

“Look, I guess this all fine and dandy, but let’s try to keep the displays of affection in front of me to a minimum. I already have to bleach my eyeballs and I don’t need any more reasons.” Tony headed toward the door, avoiding looking in your direction again. “And Cap, if you hurt one hair on my baby sister’s head, I will blast your ass all the way to Wakanda.”

You and Steve bust out laughing and you let him haul you to your feet. He held your face affectionately and you leaned into his touch.

“Since we’ve got Tony’s blessing now, you want to sneak home for round two?” He teased.

“No way, Captain. Now that we’re free, I’m planning on spending the whole day with you in the pool.” You took his hand in yours and pulled him to the door. “Besides, I’ve got to show all those girls who you belong to.”

“Belong to?” Steve darted forward and flipped you over his shoulder, smacking your butt playfully. “I think you’re all mine, baby.”

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #captain america #tony stark #iron man #stark sibling!reader #bucky barnes #steve rogers and you #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers fanfic

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creampuffqueen · 3 years

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Getaway Car - Cresswell, TLC Shipweeks 2021 (Criminal AU)

a/n: Hello!!!! TLC fandom! It's been quite a while since I did anything for y'all! But here I am, back from the dead, with an unholy amount of one single fic for the ship weeks. I was going to post this yesterday, since that was Cresswell's AU day (I think, I wasn't originally planning to post anything so I wasn't keeping track, but I listened to Taylor Swift's song Getaway Car and got a Vision) but sadly my ideas were too large to complete in one day! So take this now!

Word Count: 13142 (yes, I know)

Summary: In an alternate universe, Cress and Thorne are partners in crime, literally. They may also be in love with each other, literally.

Warnings: Contains mentions of guns, violence, underage drinking, cursing, and a lot of crime

~~~~

“Cress, you got me?” Thorne’s voice crackled over the speaker of the burner phone, right into the waiting ears of the person he needed most.

His getaway car, Cress Darnel.

“Loud and clear!” She replied, twisting the key in the ignition of the old car. The engine roared to life under her touch, and the young woman sped out of the alleyway. “Keep going, I’ll be there. You know what to do.”

“We’ve done this almost a dozen times; I know what to do!”

The blonde cracked a grin to herself, “Sure you do. You’d be lost without me.”

“You got that right! See you in two! Mwah!” With that last endearment, the line went dead, and Cress chucked the cell phone out the window with an exasperated smile. She was parked close enough that the rendezvous spot only took her one minute, sixteen seconds to reach.

Timing was of the utmost importance to this mission. Even a few seconds too late and everything would end.

This was proven approximately thirty-eight seconds later, when Carswell Thorne, renowned criminal, tore around the corner, half-zipped duffel bag slung over a shoulder. He had a gun, but both he and Cress knew it wasn’t loaded, it was just for show.

The doors were unlocked, the car had a full tank of gas, and Cress was a very good driver. “Floor it!” Thorne shouted, and Cress didn’t have to be told twice.

When the police arrived, approximately twenty-two seconds later, they, and all evidence, were long gone.

~~~~

After an hour of driving, it was getting dark. Thorne discreetly hotwired a new car in a full supermarket parking lot, and the duo was on their way.

Another hour of driving, and Thorne took over the controls from the younger woman, letting her nap in the passenger seat. She curled up in a little ball, so small she didn’t even stick out of the seat. When she was fast asleep with her cheek squished against the window, Thorne finally risked a glance over to his partner.

It was strange to think they’d only known each other for a few months. Well, six months, two weeks, and five days, to be exact.

He’d tried to stop himself from keeping count. It hadn’t worked. Six months, two weeks, and five days of Cress Darnel being in his life.

It was about nine o’clock, so the traffic was beginning to thin a bit. They were in one of the busiest parts of the city, easy to blend in with their average-looking car. Someone honked behind him, and Thorne gave a glance in his rearview mirror. Whoops.

The day had been long and exhausting. Time to start working on a place to hunker down for the night. Cress shifted a bit in her sleep, and a loud grumble cut through the car. Okay, time to find some food, too.

He drove around the city a bit more, making sure nobody was on their tail, before finally exiting to the more sparsely-populated areas. Where you paid for your room in cash and nobody asked questions.

It was eleven o’clock by the time he finally found someplace suitable enough. He drove through a fast food joint nearby, then finally parked the car. Nudging Cress awake as he exited, he wordlessly passed her the food before heading inside.

Most of the rooms were sold for the night, but they thankfully had one available with two twin beds.

He found Cress devouring her burger like she hadn’t eaten in years. And-

“Hey, fry-stealer!” He chuckled, snatching his bag, “Eat your own!”

She gave him a look with those big blue eyes and something inside him melted. “I already ate mine.”

Thorne rolled his eyes, but passed her a couple more fries anyway. “This means you have to carry your own bag, you know.”

That statement earned him another pout, but he ignored it, instead grabbing his suitcase and the duffel bag containing today’s goods.

He left Cress to her own devices, heading inside the room and grabbing the shower first. His food would be cold, sure, but at least he’d get all the hot water he wanted.

When he came out again, toweling off his hair and rubbing his freshly-shaven face, Cress was inside, passed out on top of her hotel-made bed.

Thorne sighed, but couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed. It was exhausting, having so much brainpower all the time.

He tugged off her shoes, placing them neatly by the bed, in case they needed a quick escape. Then, gently, almost reverently, he tucked her under the covers.

He couldn’t resist. Making sure she was fully asleep, he pressed a soft, tiny kiss on top of her perfect golden hair.

“‘Night, Cress.”

He was fast asleep himself before he heard her reply.

“Goodnight.”

~~~~

The pair made an early departure, before other residents rose from their slumber and possibly compromised their location. Since Thorne had driven for so long yesterday, Cress felt it was only fair that she drove. It was a bit strange, she admitted, usually she was the night owl and he the early bird. But yesterday had been hard. It took a lot of planning to pull it off that smoothly.

By the time the sun rose, the pair was at least an hour away from the motel. Cress got them both coffee at a little roadside place, then pulled off to the side so they could enjoy it.

“You always get my order right,” Thorne chuckled, leaning against her as they sat in the open trunk of the car. “I’ve got a very sensitive palette, you know.”

Cress snorted, “You sure do. That’s just pure sugar in a cup right there.” She took a big gulp of her own brew, which was almost pure espresso.

“I don’t know how you can drink literal dirt water!” Thorne protested, “It’s so nasty!”

Cress bumped his shoulder again, still smiling. He grinned right back at her, before turning his eyes back to the early-morning sun.

“You ever think you’d get to see stuff like this? Do stuff like this?”

Cress could think of a thousand different witty remarks to toss back at him, mostly along the lines of “Being a wanted criminal? Absolutely.”, but for whatever reason, she held her tongue, instead replying, “No. Back then I didn’t even know when I’d see the sun next.”

Thorne turned his blue eyes over to her, squeezing her hand in a silent comfort. This close, she noticed that he’d shaved last night. And was letting his roots grow out again. Her heart sped up, just a bit.

In the six months she’d known him, he’d changed his appearance so often she was losing count. He always did after a heist, no matter how big or small. He dyed his hair, let his beard grow out, or sometimes simply donned a pair of glasses. Cress hadn’t changed hers since the very first.

~~~~

“Hey, blondie, where are you headed?” Cress whipped her head around to the voice that sounded. Rumbling up beside her was a car, front window rolled down, to reveal a young man, only a year or so older than her.

“None of your business,” She responded warily, curling in on herself a bit.

“Are you lost?” The guy continued, “I could give you a ride.”

“Like I’d get in a car with a strange man. That’s, like, begging to be killed.”

The guy looked actually offended at that. “What? I don’t kill people!”

Cress just rolled her eyes. “Thanks for the offer, but no.”

She turned away, hitching her backpack higher. She’d chickened out again. Sybil would be home any minute and she needed to get home. Her pace quickened, and the car and the guy rolled off.

Little did she know, that certainly wasn’t the last she’d see of him.

~~~~

“Alright, let’s see what we’ve got.” Cress pulled the duffel bag of stolen material towards her, beginning to rifle through it while Thorne watched. The late afternoon sun filtered through the window, turning her golden hair into an illusion of fire.

They’d ditched the car yet again, this time nabbing one from a used car parking lot. Now they were in a small town that the highway ran through, alone in a back alley, the only company being an alley cat in the trash and a couple further down that were too caught up in each other to notice anything.

Inside the bag, Cress pulled out treasure after treasure. A lot of cash; Thorne had the employees empty all the registers, and a lot of what Cress needed: Computer parts.

She had an old, run-down laptop, one of the few things taken with her from her previous life in the quiet suburbs. She would have had Thorne steal another laptop, but those were too traceable these days, even if they were brand new.

So manual upgrades it was.

Computers were her specialty, always had been. And now that she was a part of this merry band of two, her computer and her skills were integral parts to everything they did.

As it turned out, the most recent robbery had yielded exactly what she needed, and more. She gave a squeal of delight after unearthing a certain part, hugging it close to her chest.

A little chuckle sounded behind her, and Cress whipped her head around. Thorne was grinning ear-to-ear, the kind of smile that made her face heat up. “Happy, Goldilocks?”

Her face burned, and she twisted her fingers in her shoulder-length locks of hair. But she met his eyes and nodded. “Really happy. This is exactly what I needed.”

Thorne’s smile softened. “Anything for you, Princess.”

And somehow, deep inside her, she knew he was speaking the truth.

~~~~

Cress sprinted along the side of the road, the grass scratching at her bare legs. Her whole head throbbed, and her left wrist was sprained for sure. Every step pulled at the bruising on her stomach, and it was a struggle to keep moving, keep the backpack on her shoulders, keep moving.

“I’m eighteen now, she can’t hurt me anymore. I’m eighteen now, she can’t hurt me anymore,” She murmured over and over to herself, a mantra to keep her sore legs moving. She needed to leave, needed to keep moving.

She risked a glance behind her. Her heart froze.

Car lights were coming up the road. Fast.

Cress started running faster, biting her lip to keep from sobbing, keep from just keeling over and dying right there. She could beat her. She could escape. She just had to keep moving.

It was the middle of the night, there was no way anyone else but Sybil was driving that car. There was nowhere to hide. All she could do was keep going, and hope that maybe she sped right past. It was foolish, but it was all she had.

Her foot slipped into a small dip in the earth, and her whole ankle screamed, sending her toppling into the dirt. Coughing and sputtering, she pushed herself up, stumbling forward. The tears came, fast and hard and unstoppable. The lights were nearly on top of her now.

And that’s when she saw it. Another car, coming towards her. Her last chance.

Cress nearly toppled over herself in her haste, tumbling into the middle of the road, in the path of the incoming car. As expected, it screeched to a stop, the driver slamming on the horn.

“Help!” Cress screamed, as Sybil’s car pulled up behind her, her face illuminated by the other headlights and frozen in fury. “Please help me! She’s going to hurt me!”

“Crescent Moon!” Sybil bellowed, and Cress backed up against the other car. The driver’s door opened. And out stepped the most handsome man Cress had ever seen in her life.

Okay, she was definitely dreaming. She gave herself a tiny pinch.

Maybe not.

The man… he seemed familiar, somehow. She couldn’t quite place it.

“Cress,” Sybil snarled, stomping over, “Get in the car, now.” Her tone left no room for argument. Cress curled in on herself.

“Hey,” The man replied, “Who the hell are you?”

“Her mother.”

“Foster mother,” Cress interjected softly. “And I’m eighteen. You don’t own me anymore.”

If Sybil’s face could get more furious, it did. The man glanced between them, brows creasing as he took in Cress’s limp, her black eye, the way she held her stomach.

“You heard the girl. She doesn’t belong to you, witch.”

Sybil lunged, grabbing Cress’s sprained wrist. She screamed in pain, and the man moved.

And suddenly he was pointing a gun at her foster mother. Everyone froze.

“Let her go.” He said, “Leave her alone.”

Sybil backed away. “I’ll call the police, boy. You can’t threaten me.”

The gun clicked. He armed it. He pointed it straight at Sybil.

“It doesn’t matter. She’s eighteen. And if she comes willingly, there’s nothing anyone can do about it.”

And Cress really couldn’t say why, exactly, but in that moment she knew that he was truthful. That his words made sense, and more than that, she would go with him.

“I’m going with him, Sybil.” For the first time in her life, Cress Darnel was being brave. And it wasn’t a dream.

The man turned to her, flashing a grin, and Cress recognized him then. The same one who approached her nearly a month earlier.

“Cress, right?” He asked, when Sybil had retreated to her car and driven away, “Nice name. I’m Carswell, but everyone calls me Thorne. Oh, and sorry to scare you like that. This thing isn’t loaded, never has been.”

Cress glanced down the road, at the car growing steadily smaller in the distance. “Thanks for all that, Thorne. You showed up just in time.”

He offered her a hand to shake. “My pleasure, blondie.”

Despite everything, Cress found herself cracking a smile.

~~~~

“So, where to next, milady?” Thorne beamed, spreading a roadmap before them both. They’d finally stopped for the night, and were sitting on some questionable carpet in an even more questionable motel, figuring out their next plan.

“Dunno,” Cress shrugged, “Wherever’s good, I guess.”

“I mean, where you do want to see?” Thorne elaborated. “What’s your dream destination, Cress?”

She gave him a confused look. “Why?”

“You can say Disneyworld. I won’t judge.”

That earned him a snicker and a shove against the shoulder, and he could almost feel his heart swell with affection. She really was adorable, sitting in a tank top and pajama shorts, thick socks rolled around her ankles. He’d do anything to earn that smile again.

“I’m not sure, really. I’ve never had the chance to really think about it.”

“Well surely you must at least know some places. A place you’ve heard, maybe?”

Cress sighed, leaning further against him. “I don’t know, Thorne. What about you? Where do you want to go?”

“Ladies first, Goldilocks.”

“It’s Disneyworld, isn’t it.”

“You could hack their system and get us free tickets! And fast passes for all the rides! It would be great!” He replied enthusiastically.

“I mean in theory, sure, but Disney’s kinda notorious for being fairly unhackable.”

“Damn it.”

Cress yawned, laying nearly in his lap. “Let’s think about it tomorrow, ‘kay?”

Thorne lifted her, bridal style, to her bed, amidst her soft giggles. She sounded like a fairy. “Goodnight, milady. I shall seek thee out in the morning.”

Cress laughed harder, which turned abruptly into a yawn as she tucked herself beneath the covers. “Goodnight, my knight in shining armor.”

~~~~

Over the next few weeks, they travelled to wherever they felt like. The car they had was stolen from a junkyard, so it wasn’t like anyone was looking for it. Sure, it was a piece of crap, but it moved and it did its job.

They moved intermittently between small and big towns, usually only spending a day or two before hitting the road again. Cash was hard to come by, so they mostly resorted to stealing purses and pickpocketing. Cress felt a little bad about it, but hey, they needed to eat.

Things between her and Thorne were… changing. She couldn’t exactly tell how or why, but she knew they were. The change wasn’t bad, but it was different. And strange. And a tiny bit scary.

She’d find her gaze naturally finding his at any given moment, catch herself staring when she shouldn’t. She laughed at his dumb jokes more, focused on the sound of his voice when she should be focusing on the road.

He hadn’t changed his appearance in a long time. His hair was its natural shade of golden brown again, and he kept his face clean-shaven. The dumb glasses had been broken and dumped some time ago.

And it wasn’t just her that was staring, either. She felt his eyes, sometimes saw them too, when he thought she wasn’t looking. He was doing more and more to make her laugh. And he wasn’t being as careful to make sure she was asleep before he kissed her head goodnight.

Cress didn’t really know what to make of these changes. She couldn’t tell if these were good or bad. She wasn’t used to this, these butterflies in her stomach, this heat in her face. Sybil kept her isolated her whole life, and she was just now starting to really experience the world. Was it right to fall for the first guy her age she met?

Because she realized that’s what it was. They were in a moderately sized town, and were walking around the downtown area, looking for a place to eat and also some easy targets to fund said meal.

Sadly, this wasn’t an easy crowd. They had eyes in the backs of their heads, and after nearly an hour, they only had a meager ten dollars to show for it between them.

“Hey, chin up,” Thorne grinned, “We’ll be fine. I think I saw a fast food place up there, follow me.”

He grabbed her hand, and Cress couldn’t stop the dopey grin that found a permanent residence on her face. He’s holding my hand.

Unfortunately, it was a high end fast food place. The kind that had “gourmet” food at a third of the price of a fancy restaurant. Even the cheapest item on the menu really meant one meal to split between them both.

“You should eat, Cress.”

“No,” She protested, “Let’s find somewhere else. We both need to eat.”

He shrugged. “It’s late. Just promise to give me a bite, okay?”

She would have argued more, but she was really hungry. So, begrudgingly, she made her way to the register and bought dinner.

That was when she really realized what they were. He smiled at her the whole time while she ate her fill, head resting on his hands. He took the bite she offered, and refused any more. She knew he was hungry. And yet, he let her eat.

Anything for you, princess.

~~~~

Surprisingly, the guy hadn’t killed her yet. Weird. It had been three days. And he was still being nice to her.

They’d stayed in a motel nearby. Two separate beds. He’d been a perfect gentleman the entire time. He helped her ice her sprains and bruises every day. He made sure she was comfortable.

“Are you sure you really wanna be hanging out with me, Goldilocks?” He asked on the dawn of the fourth day, “There’s nowhere else you’d rather be?”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” She responded suspiciously. It’s not like she had anywhere to go, anyway.

“No, no, of course not!” Thorne insisted. “It’s just, weird, I guess. People don’t hang out with me willingly too much.”

“Why?”

He dramatically brushed his hair out of his eyes, “I’m just too good for them I guess.” Then he met her gaze with a serious look. “No, it’s because I’m a criminal.”

“Yeah, I kinda guessed.” Also she’d looked him up as soon as she had some time alone. It wasn’t hard to unseal his juvenile record, where she found he’d been arrested several times for theft. And once for grand larceny at seventeen, which was honestly kind of impressive. That also explained where all the money was coming from.

“Oh.”

Cress awkwardly looked away. “I mean, it’s whatever. I don’t care that much how you make money.”

“I promise I don’t steal from old ladies or hobos or anything like that.” Cress blinked at that. How had he known that was worrying her?

He seemed to also understand that, too. “You’re literally an open book, princess. You’re not good at hiding your emotions.”

That was their last interaction for the day. He left around lunchtime with an empty duffel bag, and Cress decided to look the other way, for now. She made herself comfortable the rest of the time, before finally falling asleep around nine o’clock.

She’d barely been asleep thirty minutes, according to the clock on the bedside table, when Thorne burst inside the room with a gasp.

“What’s going on?” Cress grumbled as he flicked on all the lights.

“Get up, we have to go. The police are right on my tail, I won’t lose them for long.”

Well, that was one hell of a wake up call.

Thorne was tossing his stuff haphazardly into his own backpack, shouting at Cress to do the same. The duffel bag on his shoulder was full, and Cress caught a small glimpse of green on the inside. Money.

Being inside the motel for four days, her things were strewn about. She was taking too long. With only her laptop and about half her clothes packed, Thorne decided it was time, and dragged her out of the motel room.

Cress was barely inside the car before he floored it, screeching out of the parking lot. His blue eyes were wide, but nearly as terrified as she expected.

Of course, she realized later, he’s an adrenaline junkie. He lives for these kinds of moments.

But at that moment, all her focus was on the road as Thorne sped through the streets, heading as fast as the car could go for the highway. In minutes, a police car was on their tail. Thorne pressed the pedal harder.

“How did this even happen?” Cress gasped, trying in vain to take her mind off the sirens behind them.

“Someone called 911 before I was done. I didn’t notice the phone until too late. Stupid mistake on my part.”

“You know,” She suggested, the seatbelt holding her tight against the seat as they screamed around a turn, “You could have just bought a signal blocker beforehand, that way nobody could call at all.”

“A what?”

“A signal blocker. They’re super cheap at like, any electronics store. Hell, I could have done it for you. It’s not that hard; it was one of the first hacker-y things I learned.”

Thorne turned to her with a grin. “You can do that?!”

“Yes. Eyes on the road!”

Many terrifying minutes later, they’d shaken off the police tail and made it to the freeway. Thorne’s smile was huge, and his attitude was becoming infectious.

“That was awesome! We totally knocked them off our trail!”

Cress chuckled awkwardly. “Yep. Except now we’re both wanted criminals.”

Thorne raised an eyebrow. “Both?”

Cress flushed. “Yeah, these windows aren’t tinted. They probably all saw me, and now I’m an accomplice to robbery.”

“Well then, Goldilocks, I think it might be time to show you my post-heist ritual.”

Thorne waved off her questions for another half hour, before he deemed it safe enough to get off the freeway and find a gas station. They parked and headed inside, keeping their heads down and both wearing hoodies. (This was the first of many of Thorne’s hoodies Cress stole).

In the abandoned bathroom, Thorne finally showed her what he was talking about. His hair, naturally a golden brown, was dyed black, and the stubble he’d been growing was shaved off as well.

Then it was her turn.

“Cut or dye?” Thorne asked, holding scissors in one hand and a box dye in the other.

She twisted a strand of her long, golden hair around a finger. Goldilocks. He called her Goldilocks. She liked that.

“Cut.”

“Awesome. I’m a great hairstylist. It’s my true calling.”

“So it’s not actually crime you’re called to?” Cress snickered as he began to snip.

“Well, that too. Crime and styling hair.”

“What a combo.”

When he was done, her hair littered the floor of the bathroom. Cress couldn’t stop staring, or running her hands through it.

“Does this make you my official partner, Goldilocks?” Thorne asked with a smile.

“I think it does.”

It was nice to be a part of something.

~~~~

“I’m bored.” Cress complained, splayed out on her bed.

“Uh huh,” Thorne replied, eyes flicking through a magazine he’d snatched that morning.

“I’m tired of pickpocketing.”

“I know you are, princess,” He turned a page, still not looking at her.

“Let’s go rob somewhere.”

That sure got his attention.

“I’m sorry,” Thorne started, “But did I just hallucinate? You want to rob someplace?”

Cress sat up to look him in the eye. “I mean, I don’t want to do the actual robbing. You do that. But I haven’t been your getaway car in weeks, and I’m bored.”

Thorne gave her a thoughtful look. “It has been a while. And I am tired of not being able to afford things.”

“So let’s do it!”

Her partner in crime glanced around the shitty motel room. “Not here. We need to find a better town.”

“Well, duh.” Cress fished around in Thorne’s bag and procured the road map. “It’s gotta be a bigger town than this hole-in-the-wall kind of place.”

So that was how the rest of their night went. Searching for a town nearby that was big enough to have a variety of places to choose from. A quick jog from the freeway, preferably, and with a low rate of crime to ensure police wouldn’t be super prepared for something like this.

It took another day of pickpocketing before they had enough for food and gas money, but they did it. Set out on the road, a plan in motion. Cress almost couldn’t believe it. She was the one who suggested robbery.

That beaten-down girl from the suburbs far away was long gone now. Instead, the new Cress was in her place. The Cress that was confident in her abilities.

And, of course, the Cress who was also hopelessly in love with her best (and only) friend.

They reached the town quickly enough. They’d driven for longer hours before. However, they’d set out later than they wanted, and as such reached their destination much later than they wanted. It was almost one in the morning when they finally pulled up to a motel just outside their chosen city’s limits.

“You got any rooms?” Thorne asked the night manager through a yawn.

“Yeah, just one though.”

“Whatever, we’ll take it.”

The rest of the transaction was quick and wordless. Cress was slumped against Thorne’s side, nearly asleep on her feet. He grabbed the room key and they trudged to the room, both half-asleep.

He unlocked the door. They stepped inside, just like they had dozens of motel rooms.

This one, however, was markedly different.

Instead of their regular two beds, this one only had one.

Taking in the scene, Cress woke up a bit, stiffening slightly.

“Shit,” Thorne mumbled, “This isn’t right.”

“It’s the last room available,” Cress reminded him.

“Right. Okay, I’ll take the floor. Just toss me one of those pillows and I’ll be good.”

Cress snorted. “I’m not doing that. You just drove all day. I’ll take the floor.”

“What? No way. Take the bed, Cress.”

“No, you.”

With a loud groan, Cress finally said, “Fine! We both take the bed! It’s not that big of a deal.”

Thorne’s eyes went a bit wider. Cress could feel her face start to warm. She looked away.

“I- no, that’s-”

“Goddamn it, shut up and sleep in the bed. We’re big kids, you take one half and I’ll take the other.”

And that was that. Neither bothered to change, as tired as they were, instead just slipping their shoes off and climbing into bed.

The first thing Cress noticed about sharing a bed was that it was warm. Really warm. This was fantastic, as she was always cold when she slept.

“Cress, what are you-”

“Shut up,” She sighed, as she curled herself closer to Thorne’s body, “You’re warm.”

“Oh.”

Not only was her whole body warm, but her face was burning. This was a bad idea. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to pull away. Thorne was stiff in her arms, and she squirmed closer.

“Relax. I can’t sleep if you’re stiff as a board.”

“Sorry,” He whispered. He became a little less tense, which Cress decided was good enough.

In minutes, they were fast asleep.

~~~~

Cress woke up cold. Which totally sucked, because she’d gone to bed nice and warm. When she cracked open her eyes, she noticed that the bed was markedly empty.

Sitting up, she looked around for Thorne, but caught no sight of him. She sat up further, looking over the edge of the bed.

Oh.

He was sleeping on the floor, snoring very quietly. He took the scratchy blanket the motel provided, along with one of the towels and a pillow, and had made himself a place on the floor.

Cress’s face positively burned. Burying her face in her pillow, she let out a silent scream of embarrassment and frustration.

She’d thought into it too much. Of course he didn’t like her like that, why would he? She was just some random girl he’d picked up off the road, the brains of his criminal operation. He wasn’t secretly in love with her. He never was.

It was early. And she was still tired. But just to make sure she didn’t wake him up, Cress slipped into the bathroom to have the cry she so desperately needed, before tiptoeing back to bed and falling asleep once more.

She woke up many hours later, to the sun shining bright into her face. Thorne was awake, she determined by the shadow moving about the room.

“Hey there, Goldilocks,” Thorne chuckled, “Was that bed just right for you?”

“Yeah, it was fine,” She replied, not meeting his gaze. “What time is it?”

He snorted again. “Noon.”

“Damn.”

He tossed her a bag, which she caught quickly. “Lunch. Or, for you, breakfast.”

She couldn’t help the small laugh at that. “Thanks.”

The day passed slowly after that. Cress showered, thankful for the hot water to rinse off the grime and the feelings of the past few days. She and Thorne watched shitty reality TV that was on at three pm, laughing when he got way too into Say Yes to the Dress. Finally, they couldn’t ignore the rumbling of their stomachs anymore, and decided to go find dinner.

Of course, in order to get dinner, they needed money. Something they were in short supply of. Time to work the crowd again.

They had morals about who they pickpocketed. Or, really, Cress did. If she wasn’t around she was sure Thorne would definitely be an old lady purse-snatcher. But he always made sure to only steal from well-off people ever since Cress joined him.

Her gaze followed a man dresses in nice clothes from where they sat on a bench, Thorne’s arm slung over her shoulder in an effort to look casual. She nudged him, pointing at the target with her eyes.

“Nah, that Rolex is fake. He’s only pretending to be rich. But that guy over there-” He pointed out someone else, and Cress started up the act.

“Sir!” She chirped brightly, stepping directly in his path. The man started, taking in the tiny girl before him.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes, I’m trying to find my cousin, have you seen him?”

The man glanced around. “What does he look like?”

Cress stood on her tiptoes, gesturing as she spoke, “About this high, same hair and eyes as me. I just saw him, I don’t know how I got lost!”

From behind the man, Thorne gave her a conspiratorial wink as he plucked the wallet from his back pocket. The look was clear. Keep working him.

“I saw him over there last, do you see him? It’s hard to see with this crowd.” She pointed away, keeping his attention elsewhere as Thorne rifled through the wallet, stuffing bills and coins in his own pockets.

“No, I’m really sorry. Maybe try calling him.” The man gave her a smile, and began to walk away. As he retreated, Cress spotted the bulge in his back pocket, where the empty wallet had been replaced.

“Thanks for your help, mister!”

She turned to Thorne as they made their way to a more secluded corner of the street, “How’d we do?”

“Great, actually! That guy had a lot of cash on him. Let’s go eat.”

As they walked, Cress was suddenly aware of Thorne grabbing her hand, holding her close. She glanced up at him, heart pounding.

He just smiled. “Wouldn’t want to lose you for real.”

~~~~

“Drive!” Thorne shouted, slinging his whole body into the car.

“But-” Cress protested.

“DRIVE!”

“Okay, okay, geez!” Cress pressed the gas, but Thorne sat up behind her.

“Faster! Cops will be here any minute!”

Cress’s heart was in her throat as she sped up. “But I blocked the signal.”

“And you said it yourself, it only holds for as long as the satellite is in position, which it will be out of any time! We’ve gotta go! Faster!”

So Cress went faster. At Thorne’s instruction, she did her best to throw off the tail of anyone who could be following. Screaming around turns, suddenly going back the way she just came, tearing through alleyways and side streets. She ran every red light she could, narrowly avoiding accidents multiple times.

“Maybe you should drive,” She suggested after a few minutes, but Thorne shook his head with a smile.

“Nah, you’re pretty good at this. I knew you had it in you.”

Eventually, they made it out of town, a bag full of stolen cash and goods. Thorne took over driving, but only after Cress stopped the car and demanded it.

“So, you hungry?”

“Huh?”

“Are you hungry?” Thorne repeated. “You did great today. You deserve a treat.” After a glance at a sign on the road, he asked, “Does Sonic sound good?”

“I guess. I’ve never had it.”

His jaw dropped. “You’ve never had it? Jesus Christ, your life is sad.”

Cress wrapped her arms around herself, glancing down. Thorne seemed to realize his mistake. “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s fine,” Cress lied, not meeting his eyes. “Let’s get this Sonic thing or whatever.”

“You’re gonna love it, Goldilocks. Promise.”

He was right. She did love it. And as they sat, eating greasy fast food beneath the stars, the earlier argument was forgiven and soon forgotten.

Cress promised herself that night that her life would never be sad, not ever again.

~~~~

“This is literally the worst idea, idiot,” Cress groaned, standing awkwardly outside a place she really didn’t belong: The local liquor store.

“Relax, it’s fine,” Thorne assured her, hauling along a case of White Claws. “You’re eighteen, that’s old enough to have a little drink, I think.”

“You’re not even old enough to legally buy it!” She protested.

He smirked, waving a little card with his other hand. “Fake ID, blondie.”

They made their way back to their motel, still arguing.

“We’re going to be here for a while during the planning part! We can at least have a little fun! It’s not like I’m going to a bar or anything.”

“Yeah, but if the cashier knew it was a fake ID and called the police, everything could be done for!”

His eyes narrowed. “Wait. So you’re not against the principle of underage drinking itself, but rather the fact we could get caught?”

She looked away. “I mean, it’s whatever.”

When the door was locked, Thorne opened up the case and cracked one open. “I like the lime ones the best. You’ll probably like the lemonade one better. Or maybe the raspberry. They’re sweeter.”

Glancing between the curtains and the blinds shut tight, Cress assured herself that nobody was outside, nobody was watching. With a sigh, she opened up a White Claw of her own. “You’ve thoroughly corrupted me, Carswell Thorne.”

“It’s what I do best, sweetheart.”

That was a new one.

They got a little planning done as they drank, but as the night wore on, and they both indulged themselves in another drink, then another, they started caring less and less about the upcoming heist.

Cress noticed she felt different by White Claw number two, but had another, just because she wanted to try all the flavors. Lemonade so far was the best, raspberry a close second. Mango, despite being a good flavor on its own, was actually disgusting. And Thorne had claimed all the limes for himself.

Everything around her was fuzzy. It felt like she was swimming in her own head. And everything was also really funny, too. At one point Thorne burped loudly, and while normally Cress would have groaned and scolded him, this time she began to giggle hysterically.

Thorne shot her a concerned glance. “Okay there, Goldilocks?”

Cress snickered. “You’re funny.”

“Right. And you are drunk. How many-” She noticed his eyes widen at the two empty cans, and the one in her hand. “Shit, Cress, that’s enough.”

He snatched the can from her, and she flopped onto the floor, still laughing. “Everything’s so spinny, Thorne.”

“Yeah, I’m getting you some water. Stay right there.”

“Sir yes sir,” She slurred, then giggled at her own voice.

Water began to run in the little bathroom. What had Thorne said about water again? Curious, she pulled herself up, then stumbled towards the sound.

He doing something at the sink. Cress slipped behind him, then in a sudden burst of immense confidence, wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his strong back.

“Cress?” His voice came out almost strangled. “What are you doing?”

“You’re warm,” She mumbled. “I like hugging you.”

Thorne sighed. “Not that I don’t like hugging you too, you need some water, maybe some Advil, and then you need to go to bed.”

He tried to pull away, but Cress held on tighter. “Noooo, don’t leave,” She whined.

Thorne managed to maneuver himself so instead of being wrapped around his back, she was facing him, chest to chest. “C’mon, Goldilocks, drink some water.”

She gave him her infamous puppy dog eyes, but he shoved the glass in her face. “Drink up.”

“You’re mean,” She muttered, but did as he said and drained the glass. She looked up again, her blue eyes meeting his own. “You didn’t wanna be my snuggle partner last night, and I got cold.”

Thorne looked away, and if she wasn’t so buzzed, Cress might have noticed the blush.

“Let’s get you to bed, okay? Can you dress yourself?”

She definitely had too much liquid courage. “You could help me, if you wanted.”

Thorne pulled away. “No thanks. You seem capable enough. He stepped out of the bathroom, and passed her a pair of pajamas from the outside. “Drink some more water while you’re at it.”

When she opened the door again, she instantly latched onto him again. “Cress,” He chuckled awkwardly, “I can’t move.”

“Then you can’t leave,” She murmured. For some reason she felt really sad now, almost to the point of tears. “Please don’t leave me.”

“Never, Goldilocks. Let’s get you to bed.”

He tried to move, but Cress held tighter. “You’re gonna have to drag me,” She warned.

“Not a problem.” In one motion, Thorne swept her off her feet, literally. Carrying her bridal style, her arms wrapped over his shoulders, he carried her effortlessly to the bed. The single bed, that they both shared.

She was laid down on the bed gently, but Cress refused to let go. “Don’t leave me,” She whispered, over and over again. With nowhere else to go, Thorne finally gave in and laid down with her, letting the smaller woman curl against him.

“Goodnight, Cress.”

Her eyes were heavy, but she looked at him anyway. “You always kiss my head goodnight.”

His face flushed harder. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She unlatched one hand, tapping the top of her own head. “Right here. Almost every night.”

He couldn’t resist the puppy dog eyes again, she knew. With a sigh, he leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss on top of her head. Cress gave a happy sigh, and settled down on the pillow.

Neither of them moved all night.

~~~~

Everything hurt the next morning. Her stomach, her joints, her head.

“What in the fuck happened last night?” She mumbled into the shoulder of the person next to her.

The… person in the bed with her.

Cress shot up violently, instantly regretting it as her head throbbed harder. The person the shoulder belonged to groaned, opening up their eyes. Their familiar eyes.

“I feel like shit,” She sighed, as Thorne sat up next to her.”

He chuckled. “I kinda guessed that you would. You overindulged, princess.”

Things were coming back in bits and pieces, though everything was still fuzzy. “Why’d I have so much?”

“You wanted to try all the flavors.”

Right. “Mango tastes like shit,” She lamented, “I’m never drinking again.”

“Then who’s going to help me finish off the case?” Thorne chuckled.

“I would have helped you with the limes if you didn’t hog them all for yourself.”

“Princess, if I let you have a fourth you would have woken up in the hospital.”

“No, not a fourth, I mean instead of the nasty mango-”

Suddenly, as she leaned closer, Thorne winced, and backed away. “Whoa. Hangover breath. You need a shower.”

Cress’s face flushed. “Yeah. I’ll go do that.”

As she washed off the feeling of last night’s mistakes, more memories came back. But not quite everything. She was still missing a chunk: why she and Thorne had woken up in the same bed, after he’d left her alone the night before.

She got dressed, brushed her teeth, and drank some more water, before stepping out of the bathroom with the towel still wrapped around her dripping hair. Thorne stood up to take his own shower, but she stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Hey, did… anything… happen, last night? I can’t remember everything, and if I said something weird-”

“Nah,” Thorne replied with a shrug, “You just got giggly, then suddenly weepy and clingy. You were really set on me not leaving you alone.”

She ducked her head, blushing. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” Thorne assured her. “I mean, you’ve never been drunk before, it’s not your fault you didn’t know how you’d respond.” With that, he stepped away, into the bathroom, which was soon filled with the sound of running water.

Cress sighed, glancing around the motel room. Last night’s activities had left it trashed. So while she waited, she cleaned up.

About twenty minutes later, they were both back in the car, on their way for some coffee. Thorne had even decided to get black coffee for once, in an effort to ward away the hangover.

“So…” He started awkwardly, and Cress’s heart stopped. What was he going to say? Had she really embarrassed herself last night?

“You wanna talk about why you were so obsessed with me not leaving? I mean, I know before all this your life was pretty shitty, so I get it if you don’t want to talk, but-”

“My dad left when I was seven.” She stated simply.

“Oh.”

They got their coffee, and headed back to the motel. Thorne met her eyes again with another awkward smile. “You also seemed pretty upset that I slept on the floor the other night.”

Heat rushed to her face. “It’s not that big of a deal, it doesn’t matter that much.”

“Drunk Cress had other things to say.”

She didn’t answer.

Back inside the room, Thorne spoke up. “You wanna know why I slept on the floor?”

She shrugged. “It’s whatever. It’s fine if it was too much or something. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

His blue eyes got big. “No, no, that’s not what happened. Look, Cress, have you ever slept with anybody before?”

“What?!” Her entire face went red, and Thorne’s did as well, when he realized his words.

“Shit, no, not like that. I mean have you ever shared a bed with somebody before?”

“Oh. No, I haven’t.”

“Listen, Cress.” Thorne leaned in close, and her heartbeat somehow sped up and stopped at the same time. “I liked sleeping in the same bed as you. But…”

Oh no.

“You kick. Like, a lot.”

What?

Cress nearly spat out her coffee. “That’s why you slept on the floor?!”

“Yes!” Thorne laughed. “It was all fine and dandy until you kicked me in the groin at three in the morning!”

Her face fell into her hands. “Oh my God.”

“And I mean, I had to save the boys-”

“Shut up! Stop talking!” Thorne gave a loud cackle, and Cress gave into her own hysterical laughter. “That’s what this was all about?”

Things fell back into place easily after that. In fact, they seemed to fall further into place. They plotted and they schemed, searching out their target and making their plan. They never went in blind, and they weren’t about to start now.

And when they slept, they slept in the same bed. Thorne tucked her into his chest, arms holding her steady, and she never felt cold or alone while she slept. To keep from kicking, Cress twined their legs together.

Neither mentioned the obvious shift in their relationship. But they both knew it was growing deeper by the day. They woke up in each others’ arms. Thorne came up behind her randomly during the day to wrap himself around her waist and rest his head on her shoulder. He kissed her head before they slept each night. Cress was never asleep.

The day came, the day they’d been planning for weeks. They were ready. Whatever happened today, they knew that no matter what, they’d always have each other at the end of the day.

~~~~

“Cress, you read me?”

Sitting in the car, ready and waiting for his voice, Cress replied, “I read you. How’d it go?”

“Without a hitch! Incoming in about three minutes.”

“I got you, captain.”

“Ooh,” Thorne chuckled over the speaker, “I like that.”

Cress rolled her eyes. “Focus on running, doofus. I’ll be there.”

“Mwah!” The line went dead, and Cress tossed the burner phone like she always did. She arrived at the rendezvous in two minutes, eight seconds, leaving the doors unlocked for their quick exit.

Thirty-four seconds later, and the familiar sight of Thorne running for his life arrived. With a wild grin, he threw himself and the bag inside, and Cress sped away. At this point, she was an expert at losing the police.

“How much?”

“Close to five thousand!” He beamed. “It’s gonna last us a long time!”

“You’re fantastic,” She grinned back.

“Nah, sweetheart, it’s all you. I’d totally be in jail by now if I hadn’t met you.”

“I mean,” Cress giggled as she sped out to the freeway, “Prison’s always still on the table.”

“Then don’t get us caught, blondie.”

“You wanna stop at a gas station and change your look?”

Thorne glanced in the mirror, seeing they weren’t being followed. “No, I think the ski mask was enough. Plus, I wore the lifts in my shoes just like you said, so they can’t see my real height.”

“Cool. So, where to now?”

Thorne leaned back in his seat. “Wherever your heart desires, milady.”

Cress smiled softly, finding his hand over the center console. “Okay. Let’s go.”

~~~~

They switched cars that night, then kept driving. The adrenaline was keeping Cress going, even as Thorne finally dozed off. She’d forgotten how good that rush felt. Thorne had fully turned her into an adrenaline junkie, the same as him.

During the planning phase, they plotted their escape route thoroughly. There were multiple directions to exit, and they scoped each one out to see what worked the best. In the process, she’d looked extensively at the road map. And for whatever reason, the tiny, blip-on-the-map town called Farafrah was calling to her.

So that was where she went. It wasn’t too far away, but far enough that they’d be safe from the police of the other city. They could lay low for a bit before continuing on. There were so many other places to go. Cress wanted to see it all.

This time, it was Cress who drove through and got dinner. Cress who rented the motel room for the night. And it was Cress who urged Thorne out of the car and inside. Where the single bed was waiting.

They had their routine down pat. They rinsed off, even though it was eleven o’clock, changed into pajamas, and settled down for the night. Cress curled into Thorne’s side, her safe place.

“Goodnight.” Tonight, his kiss was on her forehead. And tonight, it lingered. Cress was smiling as she fell asleep.

Many hours later, she was woken up by another gentle kiss to her head. “C’mon princess, you’ve had enough beauty sleep.”

She rolled over, a contented smile on her face, even if she had to squint at the light coming in through the curtains. “Morning,” she whispered, voice raspy from sleep.

“I’ve found a nice brunch spot. I think you deserve something nice after everything yesterday.”

Cress sat up, scrubbing the sleep from her eyes. “You spoil me.”

“You know it, Goldilocks. I bet this place is gonna be just right.”

That earned him a pillow to the face, Cress rolling her eyes. “You doofus.”

“OH! I’ve been mortally wounded by my dear lady!” Thorne groaned from the floor. Cress peered over at him, only to have the pillow chucked back at her head.

“You don’t know what you’ve just started,” She warned with a smile. Within seconds they were in a full on pillow fight, flinging pillows bath and forth as they screamed with laughter.

After a few minutes Thorne managed to get the upper hand, smacking her right across the face with a pillow. Cress was knocked down on the bed, and he pinned her down with a laugh. A moment later his fingers found purchase under her arms, and he tickled her until she squealed.

“Stop! Stop! I forfeit!” Cress giggled, squirming away. Thorne was panting with laughter, still sitting on top of her.

“Learned your lesson, princess?”

She smacked his face with another pillow and escaped to the bathroom with her clothes.

Finally, nearly half an hour after she woke up- a new low for the duo who could get up and out in three minutes- they made their way to a little brunch spot in the middle of the littler town.

Their waitress was a woman about their age with a prosthetic hand named Cinder. She had a lot of personality, and had enough sarcasm to rival each of Thorne’s witty remarks.

About halfway through the meal (which was delicious), a little idea began to form in Cress’s mind. When Cinder came back to refill their drinks, Cress decided to ask her a question.

“How’d you end up here?”

The waitress shrugged. “Car broke down. Stayed to get it fixed, ended up making some friends and decided to stay. I could ask the same of you two.”

Thorne and Cress glanced at each other, before Cress replied simply, “Travelling through.”

Later, when she came back to deliver the check, Cress asked another question: “If you could do anything with your life, what would it be?”

Both Thorne and the waitress gave her a quizzical look. Thankfully, neither asked for elaboration. Instead, Cinder donned a slightly puzzled look as she thought.

Finally, she responded, “I want to open up a mechanical repair shop. For all kinds of machines.” Her dark eyes lit up as she began to ramble a little bit, about all the kinds of things she could do, what she could learn. But after a minute, her voice took on a slightly somber tone. “But, that’s not gonna happen. I’m always worrying about rent nowadays, I don’t have enough to save for anything.”

“How much is your rent?” Cress continued. The waitress stiffened.

“Why do you want to know?” She asked suspiciously.

Cress squeaked, “Sorry! I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything, but…” She scrambled for a quick lie.

Thankfully, Thorne picked it up for her. “We’re thinking of moving here. We just wanted to know how much rent was.”

Cinder relaxed. “Oh. Well, it’s about $600 a month.”

Cress smiled, taking the check from their waitress. “Thanks, Cinder. It was great. We’ll fill this out in a minute.”

Clearly dismissed, the woman offered them a smile before departing. When they were alone again, Thorne turned a questioning gaze over to her. “What was that all about?”

She shrugged. “Dunno. I just… wanted to know. She seemed nice.”

“I agree. I’ll give her a good tip.”

Cress’s smile got big. “Wait, let me run back to the car real quick. I want to give her a big tip.”

She came back just two minutes later, her pockets stuffed. Thorne’s eyes got big. “How big a tip do you mean?!”

Cress methodically smoothed the $50 bills out, keeping them out of sight below the table. She tied the stack with a hairtie she kept on her wrist, and stuck it inside the little checkbook left on the table. Just to make sure they were really clear, she scribbled out on the receipt, “The money is for the meal. The rest is for you. Good luck.”

Primly, Cress stood up, brushing her leggings off. She offered her hand to the man sitting next to her, whose jaw was pretty much on the floor. Almost in a daze, he took it, and she led him out to the car.

Finally, back in the motel, Thorne rounded on her. “What the hell, Cress?! How much money did you give her? A thousand? Two?”

“Two thousand.”

“What the fuck! Why?!”

“Because,” Cress took his hand, looking deep into his blue eyes, “She needed it. More than we do, really. Thorne, whenever we run low on money we pickpocket and we steal and we rob. That girl, she’s too good for any of that. And if something like that didn’t happen, she was going to spend the rest of her life stuck in that restaurant, in this town in the middle of nowhere where she’d never grow.”

Thorne sighed heavily, rubbing the back of her hand with her thumb. “I wish you’d at least told me before you did it.”

“Why?”

That gave him pause. “I guess… we’ve been so in sync for months now. I feel like I know you, Cress, more than I’ve ever known anyone. And yet, I had no idea you were nice enough to just give away two thousand dollars to a stranger.”

She smiled up at him. “You’re that nice too, Thorne.”

“What? No, I’m not.”

Cress gave his hand a little squeeze. “If you weren’t that nice, you’d have taken the money back. You like to pretend you’re this big bad hardened criminal, but you’re still good, deep down. You show me that every day.”

At that, he pulled her in for a hug. “It’s because of you, Cress. Blondie. Goldilocks. Princess. Every day, you remind me that there’s still good in the world. Even if it’s not us doing the good. But you… you make me want to be good.”

Cress might have been crying. Thorne was definitely crying, his tears falling into her golden hair. “You saved me. Carswell Thorne, you saved my life that night. I always dreamed when I was little that someday I’d be saved. You’re my knight in shining armor.”

Thorne pulled away, still holding her, still sniffling. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Cress. I hope you know that.”

“I hope you know you’re the same to me.”

~~~~

They decided to stick around in Farafrah for a few more days. They had a bit more money to burn on fun before they got moving again and needed to get back in the swing of their criminal ways. The pair spent the day exploring the little down, taking in the sights. And at night, they cuddled in bed, watching whatever happened to be on TV until they got so tired their eyes were falling closed.

It was the morning of their second day when the objective suddenly changed.

Thorne came into the room, bringing coffee and croissants with him. As well, he’d managed to procure a local newspaper, which he handed to Cress alongside her breakfast.

The pair sat in comfortable silence for about twenty minutes, simply basking in the other’s presence as they ate. When she finished with her croissant, Cress opened up the paper.

And stopped dead in her tracks.

“Cress?” Thorne glanced over when he heard the soft gasp. “What’s wrong?”

Wordlessly, she passed him the paper, pointing out an article. It wasn’t hard to miss, in big, bold letter along the top: LOCAL ANIMAL SHELTER UNDER INVESTIGATION DUE TO CLAIMS OF ABUSE AND NEGLIGENCE.

“Shit,” Thorne muttered, “That’s awful.”

“Those poor animals,” Cress lamented with a sad sigh. “I wish we could do something about it.”

For Thorne, he thought that was the end of it. He headed out to go explore some more, but Cress opted to stay behind. He didn’t think too much of it; she was a fairly antisocial personality and had done a whole lot of talking to strangers the past few days. She probably just needed a day to herself to recharge.

What he didn’t expect, however, was to come back several hours later to find empty coffee cups and a couple RedBull cans strewn about, and Cress hunched over her laptop looking nearly frantic.

“Whoa, what’s all this?” She glanced up, and Thorne took a step back. Her eyes were wide and bloodshot.

“Thorne. I’ve got it! I know how we can do something! We can save all those animals! Come here!”

Cautiously, he took a few steps closer. Cress grabbed him by the elbow and dragged him over. She was surprising strong for someone so petite.

And what he saw pulled up on her screen…

HOW TO MAKE A HOMEMADE BOMB

“Whoa! Cress, slow down!”

“But I figured it out! Sit down, I’ll go over it with you!”

He yanked his arm away. “Cress. Look at me. Listen to me. We cannot blow people up because they might be abusing some shelter animals.”

Her blue eyes hardened. “Well, that isn’t the plan. We’re not blowing up people. Even if they deserve it.”

“When did you get so violent all of a sudden?” He took another glance around the room. “I’m never letting you have a RedBull ever again.”

“But-”

“No. No bombs. The police will take care of whatever’s going on with the shelter.”

Cress gestured around the room, almost violently. “How can we trust that?! The police haven’t caught us yet.”

Thorne sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fine. What the hell. Tell me your plan.”

She almost squealed with delight, but he cut in- “That doesn’t mean we’ll do it though. And if you go solo and get caught, I’m not bailing you out for your own mistakes. We don’t bomb. We rob.”

“Okayokayokay, listen up. Here’s how it goes…”

~~~~

It was exactly two months since they’d met, and the new duo had just completed their third heist. They’d robbed a fast food joint after it closed. Cress was really good at finessing the alarms so they didn’t sound as they emptied the registers.

Now, they were still driving. It was late, and Thorne was beginning to doze off. He needed to find a rest stop soon, or risk running them right off the road.

As for Cress, she was quickly headed in the same direction. Her head would tilt forward as she fell asleep, just for a few seconds, then rapidly jerk back, and she’d go back to fighting sleep.

“You can sleep, you know, blondie,” Thorne offered. “I’m looking for a rest stop so we can sleep for a bit.”

“But you’re driving,” She protested through a yawn, “I don’t want you to be alone.”

He cracked a smile at that. “I’m not alone. I’ve got you now.”

“No, but-” Another yawn- “You won’t have anyone to talk to. I’ve gotta keep you awake so you don’t kill us both.”

“I’m not gonna kill us both.”

Her eyes flicked up, out the windshield. “You’re drifting.”

“Shit.” She was right. He rubbed at his eyes, wishing they’d stopped at that gas station a few miles back to grab an energy drink. The rest stop was about two miles ahead, but Thorne was really beginning to struggle.

“Can’t fall asleep…” Cress mumbled, just as her head tilted forward again. Thorne snorted when, once again, she jerked up with a groan of frustration.

“Just sleep, Cress,” Thorne urged gently. “We’re almost there, I promise.”

She gave a cursory glance out the car, seeming to check and make sure he was still driving correctly. Finally, after another long minute, her head titled. She was falling asleep again.

This time, however, she dozed off with her head against his shoulder.

Maybe it was the time of night. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation. But for whatever reason, having Cress against his shoulder, safe and sleeping, felt right. More right than anything else had in his nineteen years of life.

They made it to the rest stop ten minutes later. Thorne pulled off to the side and put the car in park before turning it off. Cress snoozed on.

Finally, he could relax. Thorne leaned back with a contented sigh, smiling a bit to himself as Cress nestled further against him.

He wrapped an arm over her shoulder, keeping her close by. And, for whatever reason, that felt right too.

Maybe it was the same reason that caused him to plant a tiny, barely-there kiss to the top of her golden head.

Yeah. It was just the sleep deprivation, for sure.

~~~~

They were doing this. They were actually doing this. Thorne was going crazy. Why had he agreed to this again, exactly? He shot a glance at the blonde woman at his side.

Right. Her. Since when had his judgement been so addled around her?

Always, idiot, his brain reminded him.

Shut up, brain.

They were inside the largely-contested Farafrah Animal Shelter. The same one that was under investigation for abuse and negligence.

Holding his hand, Cress smiled brightly at the man leading them among the cages. Her other hand gripped the straps of her purse. To everyone else, the smile was genuine, but to Thorne, who knew her best, it was as fake as could possibly be.

“And these are all of our felines we have at the moment. Do any of them possibly interest you?”

Cress shot Thorne a smile, this one a bit more real. “Let’s look around, darling, shall we?”

“Of course, my dear.” He gave her his best impression of an adoring look. Little did he know it was about as real as it could get.

“I’ll give you two a moment. I’ll be in my office if you need me.”

Cress squeezed his hand harder and dragged him to the farthest cage in the room. As they passed cage after cage, they saw the same things they had with the dogs: matted fur, frightened animals, some so scrawny their ribs were evident even from a distance. Neglect. It was bad. They reached the end of the room, and Cress took a glance inside the cage they stood next to.

Instantly, her face lit up as she took in the cat. It was a black and white thing, scrawny really, the nametag reading “Boots”.

“He’s so cute!”

“No.”

“But-”

“That’s not why we came,” Thorne sighed, making sure the man was really gone.

Cress sighed. “But he’s so cute. And wouldn’t it be nice to have a little companion?”

“A cat? As a roadtrip companion?”

“A cat is better to your criminal look, you know. So you can turn around in a chair dramatically while stroking his fur and say ‘I’ve been expecting you’.”

Thorne rolled his eyes. “Life’s not a TV drama, princess.”

“Life is its own drama! Make it your own!”

“How would we even take care of a cat on the road?”

Cress dragged him closer to the cage. “Just look at him. Look at his sad little face. He’d be the perfect roadtrip cat. I just know it.”

Thorne opened his mouth to protest again, but then the black and white furball gave a plaintive mewl and all the thoughts left his brain.

“Okay… he’s kind of cute… I guess.”

Cress nearly squealed with delight. “He is! Besides, think about it; we need a plan to get into the office. It’s the perfect ruse!”

Boots the cat meowed again. “You wanna go commit crimes with us, buddy?” Thorne asked.

“Meow!”

“He says yes,” Cress whispered conspiratorially in his ear. “Let’s get him.”

As they walked to the office, Thorne hung his head in defeat. “I can’t believe I just let you talk me into getting a crime cat.”

The blonde had a bounce in her step, swinging their joined hands delightedly. “You’re fully at my disposal.” Oh, she didn’t know how right she was.

It took a few minutes to reach the office from the kennels, but they both knew that. Cress had hacked the blueprints for the building several days ago, and they’d both memorized them from top to bottom. The offices were the furthest away from the kennels, likely to keep the noise down.

Finally, they reached their destination. Cress knocked politely on the door, bringing out her most innocent look. The one that always served the perfect distraction while Thorne expertly stole their wallet.

The man answered the door after one knock. “Have you made a decision?”

Cress and Thorne locked eyes, then turned back an nodded in unison. “We have.”

The paperwork was extensive, and Thorne was sure he had to sign his name at least a hundred times. He made sure to read carefully, though; Cress had warned him about possible legal traps. By law, animals shelters were required to vaccinate all their animals before adoption, and strongly push the idea of neutering. But in the paperwork, vaccines were of no mention. The entire time, the man simply sat silently with a small serpentine smile.

Finally, after the paperwork was signed and handed back, the man stood, offering Thorne a hand to shake, which he took reluctantly. “I’ll go pick up your new lovebug, okay?”

“May I come with you? Please?” Cress employed the puppy dog eyes. They were about eighty percent effective on Thorne, and that was after he spent months working to resist them. The man stood no chance.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

“I can’t wait! Darling, hold my purse; I want to hold the precious kitty.”

The man herded Cress out of the room, leaving Thorne to sit quietly by himself.

Or so he thought.

When he was sure they were gone, the young man sprung into action. Inside Cress’s purse was a small package, hardly bigger than his hand. A homemade bomb she’d spent days researching. It was activated by a remote control, so it could be jostled as much as he desired and still wouldn’t explode.

It was important it was planted in the office. They would detonate it after hours, so no people would be injured, and it was far enough away to keep the animals unharmed. Their only goal was to make the place unusable, which would then force the animals to be relocated to other shelters where they’d hopefully receive better care.

Thorne moved quickly and efficiently, like he always did with his missions. There was a reason he was such a successful robber; he didn’t get distracted, and he always got the job done. After a minute of rifling around the room, he settle on hiding the bomb in a bookshelf on the far wall. This office’s wall was also an outside wall, so it was nowhere near another living soul. Perfect.

Five minutes later, the pair returned, Cress carrying a new cat carrier. “Here he is, darling! The newest member of the family!”

The goodbyes were quick after that. They made it to the petshop part, where they bought some food and the most important part: a cat leash. They walked out with their new charge, both of them pretending to ignore the front desk lady’s comment of “such of cute couple!”.

“Phase one, complete!” Cress said with a smile, still holding his hand. In the cage, the cat, Boots, seemed to give them almost a grateful look. Almost like he was saying thanks for getting me out of there.

Thorne gave a glance behind him, to the retreating animal shelter. “Phase two in t-minus eleven hours.”

Cress leaned against him as she walked. “Aye aye, captain.”

~~~~

Phase two of their master plan commenced, as said, eleven hours later. The duo spent the next several hours getting acquainted with their new cat, whom they hadn’t even intended on buying. As it turned out, Boots was a fantastic cat. Affectionate and sweet, he warmed up to both of them instantly. And he didn’t seem to mind the car either, one of the most important factors.

Later in the evening, they packed up. Their motel room was paid for another whole day, but that was just a countermeasure. They already had a secondary vehicle in waiting, and would abandon their current one in the motel parking lot. As always, they had everything planned down to the last detail.

Now for the big finale, and the most difficult part, too. Sneak close enough to detonate the bomb, then get away fast enough to not get injured in the blast and not caught up in the investigation.

The sneaking part was easy enough. They’d done that plenty of times. Sure, Thorne had to boost her over a few fences, and they had to do some real super-spy action in a tree to get over a sleeping dog’s head, but they made it without a hitch.

The concrete walls of the animals shelter loomed before them. They tracked around it once, scanning for anyone who could get in their way, and came up empty. Time for the moment of truth.

Cress and Thorne met up at the point, the spot Cress had calculated earlier to give them the best chance of success based on the bomb’s location.

She took a deep breath. Now or never.

Silently, Thorne’s hand laced with her own. Cress held the detonator out in front of her.

And she pressed it.

~~~~

Smoke. Smoke and fire. Smoke and fire and haze and blood and pain-

“Thorne-” Cress gasped, throat rasping, “Something went wrong!”

There was no answer.

Cress suddenly became aware that she was alone. She was lying in the dirt, still gripping the detonator. And Thorne wasn’t with her.

A massive section of the wall was complete dust. Fire and smoke billowed out, clearly originating from the point where the bomb must have been. A few stray papers fluttered about, before they were quickly seized by the flames.

“Thorne?” Her voice was quiet.

“Thorne!” Louder.

“THORNE!” Cress shoved herself up, testing each limb. Everything was in working order. Despite that, she knew something was wrong, so wrong.

The explosion shouldn’t have been that big. She calculated it over and over again, even explained the math to Thorne so he could do it himself. They both got the same answer.

This was not their answer. The fire was spreading quickly. Alarms went off inside, but the spray of water was doing little to quell it.

Nearly robotically, Cress pulled her burner phone from her pocket. She and Thorne had gotten them in case of emergency. They hadn’t expected to use it.

“911 what is your emergency?”

“There was an explosion at the animal shelter. There’s a huge fire. Hurry. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Don’t let anyone get hurt. Please.”

She hung up before the operator could speak again. With all her might, she hurled the phone into the fire. By the time they found it, it would just be an unusable hunk of metal.

And then she ran.

All the scheming, all the plotting, all the plans went out the window. It was the dead of night, and Cress ran. She didn’t dare yell for Thorne; she had that much sense left. But with every step she felt it.

Something had gone horribly wrong, somehow. She must have forgotten something in her calculations. Maybe her information was wrong.

If both of them got out unscathed and unarrested, it would be a miracle, she knew it.

So lost in her own thoughts, she nearly ran face-first into someone who had stepped out onto the sidewalk. With a scream, Cress came to a screeching stop, standing and panting as she assessed the situation before her.

The woman was young, with dark hair and eyes and tan skin. And her hand… it was strange. A flash of recognition appeared in her eyes.

“Cinder…” Cress breathed. The other woman startled.

“Oh my God. It’s you.”

“I- it’s not what it looks like-” She followed Cinder’s gaze. Right to the detonator still in her hand.

“I swear, nobody was supposed to get hurt. I already called the fire department, if they get there in time they’ll save the animals-”

“Cress,” Cinder whispered, “Stop talking. Just go. If I see police I’ll cover for you. I promise.”

She stood still. Flabbergasted. “W-why would you do that?”

Cinder shrugged. “Because I know you’re a good person. Maybe you’ve got a convoluted way of showing it, but you’re good. Besides,” she cracked a tiny smile, “It’s thanks to you I might have a shot at my dreams.”

Then her voice took on a note of sudden seriousness. “Get out of here. The Farafrah police are no joke. Take the back alleys.”

Cress nodded numbly. “I will, I just have to find Thorne first.”

Cinder stepped closer, pulling her into a sudden hug. “Thank you. Both you and your dummy boyfriend.”

Cress found herself blushing, despite the situation. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

The other woman smirked. “He should be. He’s madly in love with you. He’d move the heavens and earth for you. Maybe consider telling him how you feel. Of course, after you’ve gotten out of here.”

“Right.” Cress chuckled. “Bye, Cinder. It was lovely meeting you.”

With that final goodbye, Cress began to sprint. Just as Cinder suggested, she took the back alleys. Thorne would be okay. He had to be. He’s okay. He has to be.

By the time she made it to the abandoned parking lot, the rendezvous point, police sirens had joined the firetrucks. The stolen red car… it was on! Idling in one place, waiting for her.

“Cress!” Thorne shouted, flinging the door open and throwing himself at her. He pulled her into his strong arms, pressing his face against her soot-stained hair. “God, I was so worried. I couldn’t see you in the dark so I headed back here. I was just about to go searching.”

Cress didn’t want to let go of him. Not now, not ever. But… “We’ve gotta go.”

“I know,” Thorne breathed, “But I was just so worried. It made me think… what if I lost you?”

She pulled back, just slightly, just enough to see his face in the dark. “What do you mean.”

“I mean, I started to think about you, Cress. How much I’d miss you. And how much I’d regret it if I lost you, and I hadn’t even done this…”

His voice trailed off, and Cress was about to ask what on earth he meant, when suddenly his lips were on hers.

Carswell Thorne is kissing me. Kissing. Me.

Her brain might have short-circuited, just a bit. But after a moment of frozen hesitation, she was kissing him back with just as much fervor, taking his face in her hands to pull them impossibly closer.

Thorne’s head tilted, and their lips fit together like they were always meant that way. His hands stroked at her golden hair, the hair he loved to much. What the hell; the girl he loved so much.

He might have told her as much when they finally came up for air, and she might have said it back. But all words were forgotten moments later, when they both spotted the flashing lights in their peripherals.

A police car, heading to the scene. If they were seen…

“Hey,” Cress whispered, beaming so wide her face hurt as she tugged on Thorne’s sleeve, “How about you be my getaway car for a change?”

“Yeah?”

She stood on her tiptoes, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. Risky, in their situation. “Yeah.”

Thorne brought her hand, so small and delicate, to his lips. “For you, Cress, you know I’d do anything. Crime for the sake of crime. Crime for the sake of justice. Whatever it is, wherever life takes us, just know that you’ll always have me. I promise I’ll never let you feel alone, ever again.”

He stroked a stray tear from her face. “C’mon, Goldilocks. It’s time to make our grand exit.”

She made herself comfortable in the passenger seat, glancing where she knew the gun lay, tucked inside the glovebox, just for show, never loaded. The gun that saved her life.

Thorne tore out of the parking lot, speeding down the streets of the tiny town at three am, just begging to be chased as they passed the animal shelter. The fire was nearly out, animals being evacuated by the second.

She caught his gaze with her own. Blue on blue. “Police chase, huh?”

He smiled, gripping her hand in his own. “You know I like to show off.”

Sirens blared behind them. Cress’s grin grew. “Then let’s give them a show.”

Thorne leaned down and kissed her over the center console. “I thought you’d never ask.”

~~~~

a/n: Oh my gosh. I cannot believe I just wrote that. All that. I haven't written in a month and this felt fantastic!!! I hope y'all enjoyed! Reblogs and comments are so appreciated! <3

#mal's fics #the lunar chronicles #tlc #marissa meyer #cress darnel #carswell thorne #cresswell #cress x thorne #tlc au #tlc ship weeks 2021 #tlc ship weeks

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lilblog-asatreat · 3 years

Text

Prompt: Guard on a break; petty; shimmering lilac lake

(Prompt from Roll-A-Prompt Writing Journal Boxed Set)

It's been three months since the IPRE crew escaped the animal planet, and Taako's at his limit. This world they touched down in is completely devoid of civilization again, including talking animals, which means there's virtually nothing to do except study the Light of Creation, which they recovered a few weeks ago, and interact with the only other six people alive on the planet that composed of Taako's crewmates. He's almost always in the small lab with Lup and Barry as they experiment with the Light, and the times they aren't doing that, all Lup and Barry want to do is talk about it. Magnus trains almost nonstop, (seriously, does the dude even sleep?), and it seems like the only times Taako can get away from listening to him practicing his war cry is when Lup and Barry drag him away to the lab to figure out how he came back to life. Merle keeps singing the same damn four Pan hymns while he studies the new plant life offered by the planet. (Not to mention the time Taako walked in on him alone in the bathroom with what he would assume would be a beautiful looking flower if it wasn't wrapped around his... never mind. It was an image that he wanted to burn out of his memory to say the least.) Lucretia won't stop pestering him about talking about his feelings and his past all in the name of getting an accurate account of their mission (and little else to talk about). And Davenport has convinced himself that even after three months of radio silence, that force, the Hunger as Lucretia calls it, is going to come back at any second, so he has to stand guard on the ship in case he has to shoot everyone off into the sky at the drop of a hat.

Taako is sick and tired of everyone's bullshit. He needs a break. Apparently that isn't in the cards for him though because as soon as he steps out onto the deck to try and enjoy the fresh air, Davenport stops him.

"Taako, I was just about to go looking for you. I need you to stand guard out here while I go take a breather. I've been out here for hours, and Lucretia said... I need to decompress, I guess? Anyway, I'll be back shortly."

Suddenly, Taako would rather be anywhere else than on top of the deck.

He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. "Davenport, my dude. If you were already talking to Lucretia, why didn't you just ask her to stand guard?"

"She wanted to go with Merle and Magnus while they forage for food. We're running low on supplies." Davenport says.

Taako frowns. "Why didn't you send me to go out and forage for food then? That's kind of what I'm best at."

"Because you're really good at sending up flares and showy magic, so you can easily send up a signal to get everyone back on board at a moments notice." Seeing Taako getting angrier, Davenport adds quickly, "They'll be fine. Besides, Merle's been studying the plant life more than you have, so he probably has a better idea of what is edible and what isn't than you do."

That does not, in fact, quell Taako's anger.

"Well thank you for acknowledging I am an elf of many talents at least, but I'll have you know Merle hasn't been so much as uh- studying the plant life as you say- as he has been fucking the plant life. So if you want to eat dirt because he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, that's fine, but don't complain to me when I can't make anything that tastes acceptable from whatever the fuck they bring back."

"Taako-"

"Just go enjoy your break. I'll be up here waiting for nothing to happen until you come back."

Taako turns his back to him in a huff, and Davenport sighs but doesn't comment. Instead, he makes his way down the plank and onto the beach of the lake they're parked on.

It's a very pretty and calming scene to look at especially while coming down from an argument. The beach is made up of grey-blue sand that seems to get softer the closer it is to the ethereal lilac water that shimmers under the glow of the setting sun. The branches of the trees and other greenery surrounding the lake sway gently in the cool breeze. Taako walks over to the railing, leans against it, and sighs, blowing a stray strand of hair out of his face. He looks down at the small form of his captain sitting cross legged at the edge of the water. He doesn't want to talk to him, but he feels like he should probably at least try to make peace. No one knows what's happening and if they'll ever get back home, and if Taako has to spend the rest of his life with only these people, he might as well not make them hate him. He sighs again before making his way down to the beach.

"Hey," Taako says as he plops down next to him.

Davenport looks up at him with a start. "Taa- I told you to-"

"It's alright my man, I left Lup in charge," Taako lies. "Listen. I'm... sorry... about what I said up there. It was a little petty of me to uh get so upset over being told to guard the ship for a few minutes and not being sent on the foraging mission. But also, Davenport..." He sighs and turns to look at his captain. He has dark circles under his eyes, and his eyes look dead tired with a glimmer of constant worry and stress. Taako feels a pang of guilt for being short with him earlier, but he ignores it. "Look. The Hunger isn't coming. At least not for a while. You've been standing up there 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and it's accomplishing nothing except making you more stressed than you need to be. And uh, quite frankly, it's also really annoying and stressing me out when you're also pushing that main focus on other people. You need to relax, my dude, before you give yourself, and everyone else, an aneurism."

Davenport turns away from him to stare out at the water. "I guess... I suppose you're right. It's just been so hard not knowing what's going on or what's going to happen to us next... I'm in charge of keeping everyone together and safe and making decisions that's supposed to benefit the team and mission as a whole, and I don't know how I'm supposed to do that when... this is so far out of what I imagined this mission was going to look like."

"Yeah, I don't think being the sole survivors of two apocalypses was part of the job description."

They both laugh a little at that.

"Anyway," Davenport continues, "it's not like y'all have been making it any easier, but I know it's because no one knows how to handle this situation, so I'm not upset. It is slightly annoying listening to Magnus train at all hours of the day and night, but I can talk to him about that later. And Taako, you really need to stop stealing people's stuff and moving it around on them everytime someone annoys you." Taako starts to protest, but Davenport cuts him off at the pass. "I know you're the one taking my stool, and I have caught you hiding Lucretia's notebooks in the kitchen cabinets. It's really petty and annoying, and that shit needs to be kept at a minimum."

Taako laughs. He pulls his knees up to his chest and continues to stare out into the water. "I promise I'll stop doing that if you promise to take breaks more often and stop pushing everyone to be on guard 24/7."

"Deal."

The two of them spend the rest of the evening in comfortable silence, watching the sun sink beyond the horizon and the stars blinking into view, and the bond engine at the back of the Starblaster glows just a little bit brighter as a new bond is formed.

#taz #taz balance #taz fanfic #taako #davenport #taz taako #taz davenport #stolen century #written works of Gab

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woeisme-iamwoe · 3 years

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an absolutely massive Haikyuu!! fic rec pt. 2

IwaOi this time around. My favorite ship. The world’s favorite ship...there’s so many

Undecipherable, by ioo (4k. G. canonverse)

I’m pretty sure the author meant ‘indecipherable’, nevertheless! I am appalled that this work doesnt have more hits. Y'all are sleeping on it and that's not okay.

The sound of the door slamming against the wall has Hajime startling back to the present. He looks at the source of the disturbance and finds himself face to face with Oikawa, red in the face with breathlessness and a leather-bound notebook tightly clutched in both of this hands. When he spots Hajime, he makes a beeline for the bench and slaps it down right next to him.

"Koi no yokan," he says. "The sense one can have upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall in love."

primavera, by tothemoon (8k. T. canonverse)

All of tothemoon’s works read so beautifully

They say it takes twenty-six years, for certain breeds to fully bloom.

Learning to Walk (So That We Can Run), by ricekrispyjoints (27k. M. canon-divergence)

I've read this work so many times. Like, so many times and I’ve never tired from it. Gorgeous. The shift from friendship to romance felt so natural, love it.

"I'm not healing like I should be."

In his second year of university, physical therapy just isn't cutting it. Oikawa's knee is getting worse, and he can't hide it anymore.

Or: the light angst, project-your-own-life-experiences-on-Oikawa knee surgery fic you didn't know you wanted.

Priorities, by weirdmilk (2k. T. canonverse)

Kissy, kissy.

‘I just -’ Oikawa begins, ‘it might be difficult to get married, sometimes, I think.’ He chews on his lip.

Iwaizumi makes a questioning noise.

‘Ah,’ Oikawa says, and then, in a rush, ‘if I didn't want a wife at all - what then? If I said that to you. If I told you I can’t see it. Like - the wedding dress. The bride. I just can’t see it.’

Iwaizumi swallows again, his heart beating much faster than the conversation warrants. He wonders whether Oikawa can hear it. ‘You’re eighteen. You aren’t supposed to see it yet.’ He snorts. ‘I mean - if we’re sharing shit, I’ve never even kissed a girl.’ He doesn’t mind admitting it. It’s not something that bothers him - he’s never prioritised girls very highly, and despite Oikawa’s largely undeserved status as Miyagi’s most eligible teenage bachelor, he doesn’t think Oikawa has ever wanted a serious relationship with any of his fan club, either.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi can't sleep before their first practice match with Karasuno.

Before Midnight, by fathomfive (2k. G. canonverse)

Reads like a fairytale.

The sky turns, the seasons turn over, and Iwaizumi and Oikawa track the movements of the stars. Nothing is ever quite constant, but it's close enough.

The grass is stiff with frost. They walk in silence past the raked-over vegetable garden and up the back hill, footsteps crackling, and stand side-by-side at the top of an incline that used to seem much bigger. Iwaizumi glances over but Oikawa’s already gone, eyes searching the sky with no hint of hurry, just a kind of reverent patience.

make a bet, keep a promise, by raewrites (13k. M. canonverse)

Bet still on.

Sometimes, in still moments, Iwaizumi wonders why out of all the people on earth he ended up with Oikawa Tooru. Why it’s his face that lingers on his fading conscious in the last moments before he falls asleep, in the first blurry seconds upon waking up again. Why when he looks to his side, he expects Oikawa to be there in the same way he expects to see five fingers on both hands, a natural extension of himself, ever present.

Why he can’t imagine a future without Oikawa in it.

It begins with a bet made between the two boys in the mid-summer of their eighth year. It starts with volleyball, but like with most things involving Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime, things are never quite that simple.

our hearts still beat the same, by knightswatch

two birds, by thelittlebirdthattoldyou (5k. T. canonverse)

Of heartbreaking letters and paper crane wishes.

Five months into the term, two months after he’s stopped replying to Oikawa’s texts, the first package arrives. A small square box, wrapped in brown paper and tied with string, and Hajime almost trips over it on the way to his dorm.

There’s a letter attached.

Oikawa doesn’t know how many times he’ll have to put his feelings down on paper before Iwaizumi believes them.

Through My Eyes, by anchoringsouls (2k. G. canonverse)

Okay! Okay, we were doing great with the soft, happy love up until the last part! That's great, just great!

“I think if you ever saw yourself through my eyes, you would fall in love with yourself the same way the way I did with you.”

in time it could be ours, by deusreks (3k. T. canonverse)

Anyone wanna go back in time and make a time capsule with me only to dig it up years later and we’re actually in love?

Set post Seijou's match with Karasuno. There's a moderate amount of rolling in the dirt. No pajamas were hurt in the writing of this fic.

There, in their joint backyard, was Oikawa Tooru, clad in his silly luminescent space pajamas, digging a hole near a cherry tree.

“What the hell, Oikawa.”

Tooru stubbornly continued digging. He looked pitiful in that moment; everything that was grand about him in daylight was meaningless in the darkness. He was only a boy with a shovel whose broken heart mirrored Hajime’s own.

we can do better than that, by spaceburgers (16k. M. canonverse)

Of course, of course, the IwaOi road trip fic. AnD thErE wAs ONly OnE bED!

Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

They Say it Rains Diamonds on Jupiter, by exsao (35k. T. canonverse)

I don't know, just gorgeous. Hajime’s so in love.

"You're in love with him."

Hajime considers denying it. He considers deliberately choking on his drink to express surprise, to create a distraction by spitting onto the man in front of him's pristine white shirt and causing a commotion. Instead, he swallows his mouthful of soda and heaves a small sigh once his mouth is free.

"Yeah," he says instead.

He's never been good at lying, anyway.

Midnight boys/sunset town, by carafin (10k words. T. Housemates AU):

The author says they played off of the fact that Oikawa oftentimes forgoes his sleep in order to work, and wrote it so that he doesn't sleep at all. This was so cute, kinda sad, mostly not. Love how Iwaizumi just goes along with whatever crazy stilch Oikawa is on.

In which Iwaizumi Hajime grows a few chili plants, participates in an eating contest, breaks into a park, and falls in love with a man who doesn't ever sleep - not exactly in that order.

5 Reasons Why Iwaizumi Hajime's Flatmate Is A Complete Weirdo (An Incomplete List)

1. He's obsessed with that stupid bucket list of his.

2. He's the proud owner of seven truly ugly, criminally hideous movie posters with aliens on them, which he insists on pasting all over the damn living room.

3. He's always stealing Hajime's sweatshirts.

4. Sometimes, he wakes Hajime up for breakfast. At 5AM. On Saturday mornings.

5. He literally never, ever sleeps.

The Best I Ever Had, by FindingSchmomo (62k words. T. Canon-divergent):

You’ve read it, your mum’s read it, your dog has probably read it (you really need to take facial recognition for him off your phone, he’s got some weird nighttime habits). So basically this fic caused me physical pain and then pumped me full of morphine and now I’m good! Beautiful read, hated Oikawa for a while, Iwaizumi is the only boy I would ever feel safe alone with.

A story of separation and time lost. Oikawa and Iwaizumi lose contact, and life goes on. Now, a decade later and back in Japan, Oikawa wonders if he can pick the pieces back together, despite knowing Iwaizumi has moved on. A story of their past, present and future, pieced together by shaky hands.

darlin', your head's not on right, by aruariandance (13k words. T. canonverse)

Again, I’m pretty sure anybody who's anybody has read this fic and for good reason! Super sweet realizing you're in love fic. Makes me reconsider wanting to get married.

'“Our wedding,” Oikawa says by way of explanation, tapping his finger against his magazine more emphatically. “What colors should we use? Color scheme is important, apparently.”

Iwaizumi feels his lifespan shortening.

“I was thinking our Aoba johsai colors to go for more, you know, softer tones? Besides, I’ve always looked great in that sea foam green color. Oh, and I guess you look decent in it, too.” He grins, saccharine sweet, and Iwaizumi has never been so tempted to knock one of his perfect pearly white teeth right out of his stupid mouth."

or,

Oikawa teases Iwaizumi about a childhood promise he made to marry him when they were older, except suddenly it's not really a joke at all.

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle, by kittebasu (66k. T. canon divergent)

Is this one of the most famous Iwaoi fic? I don’t know. Looks like it, I know it's my personal favorite. Where Oikawa studies bugs for a living and can’t seem to come to terms with his feelings. Very angsty, love that in a fic.

Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

Terrarium, by sausaged (11k. T. Post-canon)

Honestly, I’m so surprised this fic doesnt have more hits! It’s so good! Made me ache! I love the memories and character growth shown through the growing of the terrarium, absolutely adore that kind of symbolism. So beautiful, give it some love because it's one of my absolute favorites.

He's practically a professional at being proactive (lies, lies, and lies when it comes to Iwaizumi).

At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

Can he really tag his Instagram photos with #YOLO if he doesn't actually put that phrase into practice?

A story about Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, plants, and rocks.

Lips like sugar, by ohhotlamb (8k. T. canonverse)

Why did my childhood best friend never offer to help me practice kissing only for us to realize we were only interested in each other? I had a fake high school experience.

Hajime is offered to learn the art of kissing from a true professional, one Oikawa Tooru. It's not as bad as he thought it would be.

Falling Slowly, by bravely (commovente) (3k. T. canonverse)

So special, imagine loving one person, and one person only like this for the entirety of your life. This is getting too sappy, I want off of this ride.

over the years, some things change; but over the years, some things stay mostly the same.

(alternatively, mornings with oikawa and iwaizumi over the years).

No sleep in the city, by loveclouds (7k. T. canonverse)

Mass/volume = Iwaizumi, apparently. (Please. If anyone gets this absolutely horrific joke, lets elope).

Along their journey to find Tokyo's best ramen, Iwaizumi finds himself asked again and again why Oikawa is still single.

Time, by surveycorpsjean (5k. E. canonverse)

Growing older together.

When they're twenty-three, their story only begins.

Everything With You, by Ellessey (14k. E. canonverse)

Came damn near to crying, you can just feel Iwaizumi’s pain. Fight scene was probably the most emotion evoking one I’ve read in a long while.

‘Hajime still loves Oikawa, but he understands now. Oikawa can't look at him and see someone he could potentially date.

And that makes it easier to not focus on the little things that used to drive him crazy—Oikawa's long legs, the way he's always hanging off of Hajime, how his whole face changes when he gets ready for a jump serve, and he looks like he could take on the entire world and win.

This new arrangement though, this living together situation, is presenting a new set of variables that must be adjusted to, and the nakedness is one of them.’

For years, being Oikawa’s best friend has worked out fine. Hajime is hopelessly in love with him, but it’s enough. Then Oikawa—who, by all accounts, has never been anything but determinedly, assuredly straight—gets a boyfriend. Or a boy friend-with-benefits. Hajime doesn’t know, and he doesn’t give a shit about the definition.

What he knows is that remaining best friends is starting to seem a bit too painful (way too painful) to be considered a solid option.

The Best Best, by rikke (12k. T. canonverse/future fic)

Takeru is a whole mood. Don’t want kids, but I do want domesticity and this fic feeds me well.

“Congratulations, Iwa-chan! You’re a dad!” Iwaizumi hears as soon as the door opens. He’s dealt with Oikawa for all of his twenty-one years of age now, but this declaration is still sufficiently disturbing enough that he turns from his place on the couch and braces himself for whatever Oikawa has done this time.

Or the one where Iwaizumi and Oikawa babysit Takeru for a week.

cheek kisses, by ohhotlamb (G. 3k. Future fic)

Sooo cute!!

“Every time,” Hajime murmurs, “every time I see you again I remember how fuckin’ crazy I am about you.”

Routine, by snoqualmie (2k. T. canonverse)

Again, anyone wanna be my childhood best friend so we can put face masks on each other and fall in love? I died, truly.

Iwaizumi is fourteen years old, horny too often and angry all the time, and he’s just starting to notice that Tooru’s legs are really long, that his lips are kinda soft looking, and his fingers feel good pressed under his jaw.

Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad, by sunsmasher (19k. G. canon divergence)

Be wary, I would give this fic an upper rating to probably Teen and the follow-up fic is Explicit. But, Oikawa on the Japanese national team is just a dream as is, but add in a rekindling friendship and an angsty make out sesh? Mwah, delizioso.

It’s July 10th, 2024, and Oikawa Tooru is an Olympian. His smiling face airs on an NHK promo every 45 seconds. He’s captain of the national men’s volleyball team, reigning star of the professional leagues, and he hasn't spoken to Iwaizumi Hajime in two years.

He has, however, sent Iwaizumi tickets for the 2024 Los Angeles Summer Games.

“So go,” says Matsukawa's voice. “It’s only a few weeks. You’ve got a whole city to hide in if it gets awkward, and if it doesn’t get awkward, well…”

It’s like watching the future reconfigure, like being in high school again, watching team after team fall to Oikawa’s faultless planning and shameless charm.

“I’ll get to watch a whole lot of volleyball,” Hajime says, and resigns himself to fate and/or Oikawa Tooru.

“Hey, when you get there, can you bag a gymnast for me?” Hanamaki asks, and Matsukawa squawks.

Chasing Paper Suns, by carafin (10k. T. Future fic)

Again with the growing up and coming back together, this time with more angst than the last. Lovely, really lovely read.

Post-high school, Oikawa makes it to the national volleyball team but Iwaizumi doesn't. The next three years become an exercise in growing up without growing apart.

Some days Hajime likes to think of himself as Oikawa’s counterpart—the two of them blending into a single devastating unit, the invincible setter and his unyielding ace, the bond between them unbreakable and true. Other days he feels like he is chasing after a rising sun, always running and running with his eyes fixed on the distance, trying to cross a chasm that stretches on without end, caught in an endless and exhausting pursuit.

the yellow room, by ohhotlamb (14k. T. canonverse/future fic)

Makki and Mattsun see bullshit and call you out on your bullshit.

“I told you, we broke up like six months ago. We’re not dating anymore.”

Hanamaki eyes him suspiciously. “You live together.”

“Yeah, so?”

“There are pictures of you two kissing stuck to your refrigerator.”

Hajime shrugs. “That wasn’t my idea. Anyways, they’re good pictures. Good lighting.”

the river runs, by tothemoon (11k. T. post-breakup)

My heart ACHES. Happy ending, promise! Just read it.

One year since their breakup, Oikawa Tooru starts a list of daily reminders, tips, and tricks called HOW TO FORGET ABOUT IWAIZUMI HAJIME, and he’s determined to make it stick.

—

This is a firsthand account of how to deal (and rather spectacularly, at that).

I sure hope that guy gets fired, by Xov (29k. T. canonverse/time loop au)

The only thing better than one confession, is MULTIPLE confessions. Oikawa trusts Iwaizumi unshakably, and that's beautiful.

It was the fourth time experiencing the exact same day that Iwaizumi Hajime reluctantly admitted to himself that something was very wrong.

my only friend was the man in the moon (until i met you), by ohhotlamb (7k. T. canonverse)

Just so innocent and sweet. Oikawa said ‘effort’.

In which Oikawa has a life-altering revelation, and Hajime is starting to think it involves him.

Bet On It, by originalblue (13k. E. canonverse)

Tooru being nice for a week? That can only end one way… with a d*ck in Hajime’s mouth.

Hajime knows exactly how shitty Oikawa's personality is, and has no scruples whatsover about betting Oikawa six thousand yen that he can't be nice for an entire week.

especially for tender ones like us, by viverella (17k. T. canonverse/post break-up)

Gods! See? See what I mean? How could I forget about a work as heart wrenchingly beautiful as this? Give it some love, actually, all of the love.

The worst part of it all, Tooru thinks to himself sometimes, is that even as they fought and kicked and screamed and tore each other to shreds, it was never that Tooru stopped loving Iwaizumi any less. The worst part of it all, he thinks, is that loving Iwaizumi turned out to not be enough.

(OR: on finding the right person at the wrong time and learning how to pick up the pieces)

sunset town, by skiecas (33k. T. canon-divergent)

Another work that I just CANNOT understand why it doesn't have more hits. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I almost cried.

In the summer of 2020, Oikawa Tooru returns home from his first successful stint as captain of Japan’s national volleyball team. In one hand, he holds the undisputed weight of an Olympic medal, and in the other, his unresolved feelings for a childhood best friend.

Two years down the road, reconciling his lifelong dream with his lifelong love proves to be the greatest challenge.

of odd numbers and intimate regrets, by bravely (commovente) (5k. T. post-canon/one night stand au)

Basically, Tooru and Hajime sleep together after not speaking for seven years and of course there’s feelings and angst and a belated chance at happiness and a life together.

Tooru’s spent the last seven years of his life in a carefully constructed schedule that is, he realises now, as much a habit as it was a way to forget about the person in front of him.

[or, the one night stand AU between two people more than friends but not quite lovers, measuring the passage of time in distance and long-gone memories, the expansion and contraction of the spaces between their fingers each time.]

cross my heart, open wide, by acchikocchi (7k. T. canonverse)

Super cute, super short. Realizing you're on a date with the wrong person one-shot.

For a minute Hajime doesn't know what to say. Everything and nothing crowds his mind, leaving no room to think. That he's never tried this. That volleyball's over. That he's graduating in five months. That it would be really nice, at least once, to go on a date with a good-looking guy.

Hajime goes on a date. It's not with Oikawa.

Fernweh, by oikawashoyo (19k. G. canonverse/post time skip)

A mature(ish) Tooru?? I love works that show Tooru growing and living happily in Argentina and this one is just beautiful. (Plus! Plus, Skai did a piece on it as well and I love ALL their work so you can visualize everything). Love it.

Argentina is stretching out before him, an opportunity, a challenge. He is reminded of his losses, his insecurities, his disappointments; sees them form a tall, tall wall blocking his path to success. He takes a deep breath and knows he is going to shatter it.

In which Oikawa's whole life is spent longing for the horizon — in the form of a dream, a home, and a boy.

i breathe easily in your arms, by orphan_account (2k. M. canonverse)

Soft, soft sex

When, after completing their high school graduation ceremony and heading home to enjoy their freedom, Oikawa had pulled him into his room and pressed his lips hesitantly against Iwaizumi’s own, it seemed an inevitable development in the unfolding narrative of their shared existence.

Despite years of having a bed to himself, the sensation of another body taking up space in his sheets, curling against his chest, creating warmth, feels natural in much the same way.

old and new, by Mysecretfanmoments (5k. T. canon divergence)

Finally a fic where they don't freak out on confession and it's sweet.

“You seem—sad.” Was that the right word? Others sprang to mind: desperate, lonely, anxious.

Tooru looked away. “Are you going to make me say it?”

“Say what?”

Tooru folded his arms, sighed. “I missed you, of course.”

Hajime swallowed.

“No need to look that way. I told you, I’m not one of your macho man buddies. I’m allowed to say stuff like that without being embarrassed—”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Hajime complained. “No need to be so defensive. I’ve missed you too.”

“Oh?” Tooru seemed to get a little of his own back, leaning forward on his elbows. “What about me did you miss?”

((Going to separate universities, Hajime and Tooru learn the true meaning of "distance makes the heart grow fonder"))

all i wanted was you, by spaceburgers (6k. E. college/fwb au)

This was more emotional than I thought a 6k friends with benefits fic could be, okay? Okay.

Wherein Hajime and Tooru are fuck buddies, Hajime curses his treacherous heart, and Tooru is bad with feelings.

we shine like diamonds, by whitemiists (26k. T. canon divergence)

I couldn't not include this work. It deals with internalized homophobia so well and I really resonate with it.

In all seriousness, I’m very lucky to live in a country where my sexuality is widely accepted and my heart goes out the LGBTQIA+ peoples who are forced to hide themselves. You are loved and your sexuality and gender-identity are not wrong and never will be.

Oikawa is nine when he first hears the word. The boys on the playground whisper it like it's dirty, like the way they daringly mutter the word fuck and then look over their shoulders to check their parents hadn't heard.

"You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."

Look For Him, by Leryline (18k. E. canonverse)

A collection of kisses. I love Hajime’s grandmother.

She laughs gently. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so heartbroken before, Hajime.”

Iwaizumi sighs and prods at the mackerel with a chopstick. “Sorry. I can’t help it. It’s just different, you know? Like Oikawa pissed me off so much that now he’s not here I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“But you weren’t always annoyed with him, were you?” his grandmother smiles serenely and takes a sip of her tea. “My, my, Hajime, old women see everything. I saw you out there with my finches, when you were kissing Tooru’s nose. Your mother and father used to do the very same thing, you know, when they were younger. And look how long they’ve lasted. I hope you and Tooru last, Hajime. He’s very good for you.”

Oikawa has kissed Iwaizumi more times than either of them can count; it’s a constant thing, their lips never really leaving the other’s skin. There are, however, times when they’ve kissed that are burned into their memories. Eight of them, to be precise.

film reel life, arsenicjay (8k. T. canon divergence)

Such a unique and creative idea! Reading from the eyes of a camera, so beautiful!

The only person Iwaizumi is lying to is himself, when he insists: I am not in love with Oikawa Tooru.

how to let your planets align, by tether (tothemoon) (15k. T. end of the world au)

This is the only remotely non-happy ending fic I will be including on here, and it's purely because it's a gorgeous read. And yes, I ached. Your lips, my lips, apocalypse.

It is the last day on earth, December 2nd, 1985, when you realize you're in love with him.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fic #haikyuu fic rec #iwaoi #iwaizumi x oikawa #Iwaizumi Hajime #oikawa tooru

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whosaskingwrites · 4 years

Text

Forget You (Kuroo x Reader)

A/N: This one is told entirely from Kuroos pov except for the very beginning. Because, Reader's pov wouldn't have been sad. As she doesn't remember him by the time they see eachother again. Edit: Y'all deadass let me not have the theme in here since the 24th. The theme has been added as of the 29th.

WARNINGS: None really? Angst Kuroo is a sad boy. Tooth rotting fluff from Bokuto i guess if that counts as a warning. Kuroo yells at you in the beginning.

Date: Saturday October 24th, 2020

Details: 5.5 pages 2,040 words

Theme: Stranger- when you get heartbroken you have the option of forgetting the person who caused the heart break as long as you say the word stranger with enough conviction while thinking about the person you want to forget.

Angst masterlist

“I can’t fucking stand you! Why are you so Goddamn annoying!” I took a step back as I looked at Kuroo “All I asked was to meet your friends! Since you talk about them all the time!” I yelled back. I didn’t know what had made him so mad we had been dating for six months having been roommates previously.

“And I told you no so why didn’t you accept that?” I shook my head “Actually you just started yelling at me-" “God see! You always have to be fucking right about everything!” I flinched as his voice raised more “You know what? Get the fuck out,” I looked up at him “w-what?” I voiced “Get your shit and get out I don’t wanna see you again. I’m breaking up with you,” My other roommate Kenma had finally come out of his room at that “Hey Kuroo-" I held up my hand to stop Kenma “No…its okay i-i'll leave but I’m leaving my stuff here until I have a new place. Kenma I leave it in your care,” my voice was shaky as I turned.

“Y/n…,” I shook my head at Kenma “I…I’ll see you later Kenma. Kuroo,” I turned a glare on him to see he was already glaring at me “I hope I never fucking see you again,” I turned on my heel leaving the apartment with heavy footsteps. It was sunset and my feet carried me to the trains I took a random one and let my feet carry me as I ended up at park. I had no idea where I was but I couldn’t find myself to care as I cried.

I wiped my tears slightly thinking about Kuroo and I knew then I didn’t want him to occupy my thoughts anymore. I looked at the sunset and focused before saying the word with as much conviction and venom as I could muster. “Stranger,” I blinked a few times and rubbed my eyes.

More tears leaked out of my eyes when I recalled my roommate Kenma had kicked me out of our apartment. “Where am I?” I whispered sighing as I realized my phone was dead.

“Excuse me…Are you okay?” I turned my head looking at a guy who stood next to the bench. He had what appeared to be silver and black hair his head tilted slightly to the side casting half his face in the dying sunlight. I vaguely noticed that his eyes were gold and seemed to glow despite no light being cast on them. “I…I think so?” I voiced as I looked back at him.

“You think so? Why are you crying in the park then?” He got closer and sat on the other side of the bench. “My roommate kicked me out of our apartment and my phone is dead so…,” I looked away as he hummed “Um…You could stay at my place,” I turned back to look at him with wide eyes. “I don’t even know your name and you’re asking me to stay at your place? Do you know that makes you sound like a serial killer?” He laughed suddenly eyes crinkling in mirth.

“Sorry I’ve been told I’m too nice by my teammates. Im Bokuto Koutarou,” He held out a hand giving me a smile. I took his hand and mirrored the smile “Y/n L/n. You’re on a sports team?” His smile widened suddenly and in his excitement he pulled me closer still holding onto my hand “Yeah! Volleyball I play for the MSBY Black Jackals,” he puffed his chest with a sense of pride causing me to laugh.

“Volleyball huh? Sounds like fun,” He nodded rapidly “It is! You should come to one of my games- ah sorry! I’ve been talking about me when you’re the one who’s sad,” I shook my head with a smile as he let go of my hands eyes wide in panic “Its okay. I’m not sad anymore but I think I will take you up on that offer as long as you promise not to hurt me,” I held up my pinky towards him giggling lightly.

He smiled widely hooking his pinky with my own “I promise. This will be the best adventure of your life,” I nodded at him “I’ll hold you too that Bokuto,” He chuckled at me

“Deal Y/n,”

Two years.

It had been two years since I’d seen the love of my life. I regretted it everyday since our argument and Kenma never made me feel better about it. “No she never talks about you or asks. And I don’t bring you up,” was the last thing he told me when I asked about her. I never meant to yell or kick her out and I’d never forgiven myself for it. She had blocked my number fairly quickly and Kenma never told me where she was.

“Hey Kuroo pay attention to the game,” Kenma voiced causing me to zone back in and stop thinking about Y/n. I sighed “Why are we even here?” I asked watching Bokuto preform a cross-shot that had the audience screaming. “Bokuto said he wanted to say something and he wanted all of us there,” I shrugged “He’s probably just gonna tell us that he’s got a spot on the Japanese Olympics team,” I sighed out while Kenma clicked his tounge. “Sure…,” I looked at him “Kenma do you know something I don’t?” Before he could answer the whistle blew announcing the Black Jackals as the winners of the match.

Kenma stood “Let’s go congratulate them,” I stood with him as he walked off “Hey you didn’t answer the question!” He kept a quick pace ahead of me while I followed. We stepped onto the court Kenma immediately going to Hinata I couldn’t see Bokuto but my eyes caught sight of a familiar face standing by the Miya twins. She laughed at something Atsumu said and laughed harder when Osamu added something that caused Atsumu to glare at him.

I gasped as I looked at her she looked just as beautiful as she did the last time I saw her. H/l h/c hair cascaded down her back her e/c eyes sparkled brightly like gems she wore a Black Jackals jersey and a pair of jeans both of which hugged her figure in just the right way. I let my feet carry me towards her knowing I needed to apologize. I didn’t know why she was here but Kenma probably invited her so I could see her.

“Y/n!” I called when I was close enough she turned her eyes meeting mine. I expected many emotions to pass her face in all the times I pictured seeing her again. Anger, sadness, happiness, etc. But confusion was never one that crossed my mind. “I’m sorry…Do I know you?” she asked causing my eyes to widen in shock. “No…You couldn’t have…,” I voiced quietly. She stared at me offering a slight smile but nowhere in her expression did I see any form of recognition. And I knew then she had forgotten me entirely.

I smiled back realizing I could start over with her “Sorry I’m Kuroo Tetsuro…You’re very beautiful,” her face turned pink slightly and the Miya twins laughed. Suddenly I saw familiarity light up her eyes and I smiled thinking she remembered me. “Oh! I know you! You’re the friend that Kou always wants me to meet! He gets so sad everytime you blow him off,” she frowned slightly at the end. Causing me to frown as I realized she really didn’t remember. But I also frowned at the name it was vaguely familiar though I couldn’t place where. “Kou?” I mumbled quietly to myself.

“Excuse me! Can I have everyone’s attention?” the gym quieted down everyone knew Bokuto was announcing something so most of the audience had stayed to listen. We all turned to the source of the voice and I noted that he looked beyond nervous for whatever he planned to say.

“I’d like for my beautiful girlfriend to come here,” The twins suddenly shoved Y/n forward causing her to stumble a bit but she walked forward anyway. I froze as the name connected in my mind on why its so familiar 'Kou…Koutarou' 'She calls me Kou and its so cute!' I saw her stop next to him and they smiled at each other “Oh fuck,” I whispered to myself as Kenma slid over. Bokuto was fidgeting slightly and rocking on the balls of his feet a telling sign that he was anxious.

“I’ve got something to say and I’ve thought about it for awhile,” he sent a reassuring smile at her when he noticed she looked nervous. He took a deep breath before continuing “Two years ago I found you crying in a park. I remember you told me that your roommate kicked you out and you called me a serial killer,” she turned red as he and others laughed.

I realized then that the day they met was the same day we broke up. “I took a leap of faith that day and told you that you could stay with me even though I had no reason to,” He chucked lightly at the pink dusting her cheeks “At the time I never would predicted that by the six month mark I would have fallen in love with you,” I frowned at the collective aw leaving the audiences mouths. 'That should be me' I thought as I watched the two of them.

“And after a year and a half I’ve decided that I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. I want to wake up with you next to me, I want to laugh at everything and nothing with you, I want to spend nights with you wrapped in my arms as we talk about whatever comes to mind,” a pink flush had taken over his face and from behind me I heard a sniffle.

“Tsumu are you crying?” I heard “Shut the fuck up Samu,” Kenma snorted next to me at the twins. “I want these things because I’m so completely and Irrevocably in love with you so…,” I watched Bokutos eyes flicker to Akaashi who nodded at him. He dropped to one knee and everything became a buzz as I zoned in on Y/n the audience gasping was barely audible to me as I watched her cover her mouth with her hand her eyes were bright and glassy and every fiber of my being screamed at me to stop this. ‘Get her back! Stop him!’ my mind screamed. I couldn’t move though I was frozen on the spot feeling like id just been doused with freezing cold water.

“Will you do me the honor of continuing this adventure and marry me?” I could hear Bokuto but it sounded so distant to me. ‘No! Say no!’ My mind screamed louder but I felt my heart crack as she nodded in response. He got back up to wrap his arms around her picking her up he spun her around a few times and buried his face in the crook of her neck pressing light kisses to her shoulder.

‘Get away from her!’ I shook my head as I watched him slip a silver band on her finger. I caught sight of the f/c gem attached to it. It was surrounded by small yellow gems that matched Bokuto's eyes. He kissed her cheek as everyone cheered and congratulated them. She pulled back pulling out a small envelope and pressing it into his hands. He looked at her and opened it before his eyes lit up even more. He whispered something to her to which she nodded at. His excitement couldn’t be contained as he picked her up again “I’m gonna be a dad!” He didn’t need the mic this time plenty loud enough without it but it reignited the audience’s excitement as they screamed again.

He placed her down wrapping an arm around her waist and finally I watched my entire world shatter and heart crumble as the love of my life kissed her fiancé and father of her children.

‘That should have been me'

————————————————————————

TAGLIST: @wonhomarshmallow

#haikyu #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#kuroo tetsuro #kuroo x reader #kuroo angst #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #bokuto fluff #WhosaskingAngst

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vtforpedro · 3 years

Text

more bullshit from my neurologist's office, tagging with 'vtforpedro personal' if you don't want to see any medical stuff so despite my neurologist's office sending me a survey and the office manager reaching out to me to ask about specifics after I said my appt did not go well and ignoring my emails back to him??? I talked to him on the phone a few days ago and asked if he received my email from over two weeks ago, he said he did not. sure jan. told him the more concerning things and how unprofessional and incompetent my neuro has been. he SEEMED to think some things were uh not so great except then he said 'well dr murthy is a good guy, you know, and he's new to the system, just in his defense' ?! I hate them all. he's been there for at least six months. how are you new to the system if you've been there six months. how does nothing get fixed if you're having problems with messages getting to you in six months. I don't get it when the manager was saying he was a good guy and might be having frustrations with internal departments for whatever reasons I told him 'ok that's fine, but it does not give him the excuse to be rude, or excuse him giving conflicting and confusing information about my health, to be unprofessional, and to repeatedly tell me I misheard/misunderstood him over and over and over again' and he's like 'that's totally valid, you don't have to explain yourself to me, I completely understand and it's within your right to see another provider' obviously you fucking don't understand or at least don't care because you're defending him after all the shit this neurologist has done. unbelievable y'all. my fave part tho? was when he started saying 'you know you are very intellectual and eloquent when you speak. I can hear that over the phone and that's a compliment to you' [me with red alarms ringing at this point] 'so I hope that everything that's happening with your health is going well' this just in: if you sound like you can defend yourself and won't take shit from bad doctors and their managers, nothing must be wrong with you. apparently every neurological condition out there impacts your ability to be firm and uhh just lay out the points of what's gone wrong with your care he said they wanted to take care of me and make sure I was getting the care I need, so he asked murthy over the phone if I could switch to another provider, murthy said no worries (I'm sure he's as glad to be rid of me as much as I am glad to be rid of him), and the manager gave me the names of four other neuros I could see called yesterday and none of them are accepting new patients. hmmmmm. is the manager just as incompetent as murthy or am I straight up blacklisted from neuros in that office lmao kinda want someone to call and ask if any of their neuros are accepting new patients and which ones just to see lkajsfjslfj anyway. done with them, going somewhere else. I don't know if that manager is my neurosurgeon's manager and I won't be able to see him now either. god forbid you try to take care of your health anymore they'd rather see you dead than help you anymore going to go cry for a while and try to work on art after (copy/pasted this from fb I don't have the spoons to write it again)

#vtforpedro personal #personal #medical #i just feel defeated lol this is a nightmare and I hate it #i will never be able to trust a doctor again

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sparklingchan · 4 years

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Sun and Stars | Johnny Suh (NCT 127)

Pairing : Reader (fem.) X Johnny

Word count : 10k+

Warnings: A few cuss words here and there , gets a little suggestive towards the end. Not proof read sorry

Genre : Fluff,angst,romance , friends to lovers au ,college au.

Description: Johnny has no idea that you are head over heels for him - you intend to keep it that way.

A/N: I’ve been working on this fic for around a week now and I am sooo happy to finally be able to publish it (Johnny in a college au makes me feel a type of way ngl) This is the first time I’ve ever written a fic with more than 3k words so I’m not sure how its turned out so anyone who reads the entire thing,know that i am so,so grateful to you .

Also shoutout to my best friend @chogiwow for helping me out with writing and desrcibing and everything else. LY <3

Enjoy!

Johnny Suh has a habit of biting his nails when he is nervous, you have noticed , his eyes focused on whatever is directly in front of him and his leg fidgeting up and down continuously.

You have seen him look nervous on many occasions before - like the day of exams, sneaking alcohol to on campus events , group discussions with professors - but nothing will ever top the way he looks right now ; like he's standing on the edge of a bridge, ready to bungee jump.

"I told Professor Yun to give us at least a month and a half to organize everything properly but that man just plain refuses to listen to me because I bunked his class once !" Mark Lee has a big mouth ,that's public knowledge, but when he continues to pace inside the empty auditorium, you find yourself getting irritated at his non- stop comments .

"Has anyone else tried to talk to Yun about the extension of the date ? Someone who doesn't bunk his classes? " Lia asks, her arms crossed in front of her chest. You have seen your roommate look serious before but right now she looks almost as if she's about to go on a killing spree.

"Didn't y/n go to him yesterday? I remember seeing her near the staff room with him. " Johnny points out and suddenly all eyes are on you.

Your cheeks flush at the mention of your name from his mouth. //

The tense atmosphere in the auditorium was already making you uncomfortable enough but now , with the unwanted spotlight on you , you feel as if your body has been squeezed into a car's trunk.

"Umm.." you stutter,playing with hem of your oversized Linkin Park t-shirt, "yes. I did talk to him but he said no to me too. He didn't even let me explain our situation."

Mark groans loudly, his head between his hands. "We are so doomed. The authorities are going to remove me from the position of the president of the student body! I can feel it coming."

"I don't know about anyone else but I enjoy my position as the vice president of the student body council. And I am not going to give it up because you shitheads were too lazy to get things done quickly." Ryujin says , her eyes flaming with fury.

She's been running after all the student body members to start working on the upcoming inter college sport events for a whole week now . It's not her fault that the other members are starting to realize the urgency of the situation just two weeks prior to the event.( including the president, Mark Lee). She has the right to be angry.

"Okay ,everyone calm down. " You say, reluctantly,not wanting to be the centre of attention. You lick your dry lips before beginning to speak again, "We've wasted enough time worrying and talking okay? Let's go over the list of duties assigned and we can resume working again. "

"We just have two weeks, y/n. There's still so much left to do. We've barely started yet. " Ryujin whines, placing her head on Jungwoo's shoulder as he tries to shake her off.

"I know but if we work hard for say even ten days,we can get things done. We can stay back after college gets over and work and then rest on weekends. Exams are not arriving anytime soon either. "

"I agree with y/n. The event is next to next Monday so if we do overtime then we can still pull it off,despite everything." Johnny agrees , looking over at you with a charming smile. But instead of returning the smile, you look away ,cheeks tinted red.

Have you always been this nervous around him or does it have something to do with the sudden glow up he has had over the summer break? You don't know.

"Fine. Okay." Mark speaks out, "Jungwoo, can you go over the duties once again? And if possible take a picture of it and send it on our group chat. "

Nodding to Mark, Jungwoo takes out a sheet of paper from his pocket and starts reading it out. "So um... Mark and I are working on sending out invitations and collecting names of participants on the day of the event. Ryujin and Yuna are leading the decorating team. Lia,Taeyong and Johnny are working on the food stalls area and the packaging of free snacks for the participants. Jaehyun , Haechan and Doyoung are on the sound team for the DJ show after the events are over and lastly,Yeji, Chaeryong, y/n ,Yuta and Taeil are participating in the events so they will be busy with practice but we do expect them to manage the things overall and help us after class. "

Jungwoo looks out of breath after speaking for so long ,his chest heaving with each breath and his shoulders slumped.

"Okay, guys that will be all. Remember to do your jobs in your free periods and stay back after college." Ryujin says, clasping her hands together to symbolize the dismissal of today's student body meeting( more like a group stress out session).

You pick up your books and swing your bag across your shoulders while Ryujin pokes Jungwoo's cheeks with the sole purpose of annoying him but he flicks her fingers right away.

As you reach the exit of the auditorium, laughing at the bickering duo beside you and your hands reaching out to open the door , you see Johnny jogging up to you hastily and pushing the door open before you could.

"Ladies first." he says as he gestures for you to walk out , a sweet smile plastered on his lips.

Your heart hammers against your chest.

"Thank you." You murmur , avoiding his gaze as you walk out of the comfortable, air conditioned auditorium and into the scorching hot campus of your college.

You've always been this nervous around him, you realize, ever since you guys met in the first year of college - despite being a part of the same friend circle.

And how could you not? There are no books, no tutorials, no classes to teach you how to behave in front of your crush.

The student apartments are a good thirty minutes away from the college campus, and with the increasing velocity of Lia's car, your desire to flop down on your soft, cozy bed increases too.

"Yo ,anyone up for a girls night out tomorrow night? " Ryujin asks from the passenger's seat,not looking up from her phone. You see her fingers scrolling through the various new resto bars in town.

"Count me in. I am bored of eating Yeji's horrible food. " Chaeryong replies ,earning a punch from Yeji.

"If you're so good at cooking ,why don't you get your ass out of bed and cook?" Yeji spits back,rolling her eyes.

You laugh at your flatmates' childish tactics.

"Anyway, I'm in too." Yeji sighs, resting her head on your shoulder,sleepily.

"Yeah, me too!" Yuna chimes in.

"What about you ,Lia?" Ryujin asks her friend in the driver's seat.

Lia narrows her eyes at the road in front of her ,but you know for sure her mind is going over the pros and cons of going out tomorrow night. You've been her roommate for three years now ; you know her basically like the back of your own hand.

"I guess so,yeah." Lia says , changing the gear and turning over the corner into your appartment street.

"Okay ,that makes five out of six. Y/n?" Ryujin looks back at you , her pleading eyes drilling into yours.

As much as you want to relax and go out tomorrow night ,you have a busy schedule. Swimming practice for the sport events in the morning ,classes throughout the day, helping out with the organization and a study date with Yuta late at night. You are packed tomorrow.

That and you didn't want to get drunk on a week day.

"I'm sorry guys,I don't think I'll make it. I promised Yuta I'd study with him. " you say . Your flatmates groan out loud,throwing you dirty looks for ditching them for a stupid study date.

"Why does Yuta want to study with you anyway ? Your majors are like poles apart." Yuna mumbles.

Frankly, you didn't know why he wanted to study with you either. You were a computer science engineering student and his major was performing arts. But it's been a tradition between you two for quite a while now. Maybe you've gotten used to comfortable silence with him when you study , like music playing in background, not loud enough to distract you but loud enough to help you focus.

"Maybe it's not a study date with Yuta after all. Maybe it's just an excuse to see his roommate,right ,y/n?" Yeji teases ,nudging your ribs with her elbows.

You blush for the nth time today. "No. I'm going to have a normal study session with my best friend. Can y'all please not make everything about Johnny?" You huff.

You regret telling them about your fat ass crush on Johnny that one eventful night when you had so much alcohol that you couldn't even recognize your friends' faces as they carried you home. You should have just had apple juice or something.

Thankfully before the conversation could go on further , Lia pulls over in front of your apartment and you sigh in relief. "Yayy Home!" Ryujin chimes with fake enthusiasm as everyone gets down from the car.

Your shared bedroom with Lia is a little smaller than the bedroom that Yeji, Ryujin and Chaeryong share but you've never had a problem with that. It's cute and warm and it reminds you of your room in your parents' house .

"I'll shower first." Lia declares as she grabs her towel and walks straight into the bathroom. You sigh,too tired to compete with her for a bath. You drop on your bed, nuzzling your face into the soft pillow ,feet dangling by the edge of your bed.

And by the time Yeji walks into your room to ask what you want for dinner, you are already passed out ,with the image of Johnny's breathtakingly gorgeous grin on your mind.

Have you ever watched those cheesy rom com movies where the male lead lives in a dorm with five other boys and their rooms are so clean you wouldn't find a single piece of clothing out of place?

Well, reality is a bit different from that.

You stand in front of Yuta's apartment door which he shares with Johnny , Mark, Taeyong and Taeil , after your flatmates drop you off and make their way for their night out . You shiver as the cool night air kisses your bare arms and you can only hope someone let's you into the apartment before you freeze to death.

"Oh,hey y/n! " Taeil opens door with a welcoming smile , gesturing you to walk inside.

"Hi, Taeil. Took you guys long enough. " you say shivering , narrowing your eyes at the boy in front of you.

The smell of burnt pancakes hits your nose the moment Taeil locks the door behind you and your gaze immediately shifts to the kitchen where Mark and Taeyong are trying to desperately save some burnt pancakes.

"Well can you blame me? " Taeil shrugs , eyeing the two boys .

"Figured. " You say as you make your way towards Yuta 's bedroom . You hear Mark and Taeyong yell a few ' Hi's ' and 'wassup's ' in your direction and you reply to them without looking back at their sorry faces.

Yuta's ( and Johnny's) room is like a second home for you. You don't often hang out here but there's a homely feeling in the warm colored curtains and the smell of Johnny's favorite perfume and Yuta's anime posters.

"Wrong room. Johnny is in the other room." Yuta comments when you enter the room and you throw your notes at him,earning a fake groan in response.

You sit on the edge of his chair , putting out your books and notes on his study table, while he sits in a far corner of his bed , his study material spread out in front of him.

Studying with Yuta is always turns out to be productive for you. You both rarely talk while studying , your minds completley immersed in the hastily written notes and the only sound in the room being the scratching of pens against paper.

Maybe this was one of the many reasons why you preferred to study with him in his room (and totally not beacuse of Johnny who you are yet to meet).

After two and a half hours of being knee deep into your books ,you finally slam the books shut and stretch your limbs,relief flushing over you after looking at the many topics you covered tonight. You mentally pat yourself in the back.

"You done?" Yuta asks when he sees you scrolling through your phone, humming a song you'd heard on radio the other night.

You nod,not looking up at him.

He's about to add something when you hear the sound of shuffling feet outside the door , followed by a series of soft knocks. There is only one man in this apartment who could knock on a door as tenderly as that.

"What do you want ,dickwad?" Yuta yells as he falls onto his pillows. You glare at him. He's taking away your chances of seeing Johnny tonight. "Y/n is busy!"

Johnny peeks in through the door , his jet black hair messy and damp as if he'd just walked out of a shower. He wears a grey hoodie and a pair of black sweatpants yet he manages to look like he'd walked straight out of a sportswear advertisement. God really has his favorites, doesn't he?

"Hey, y/n. " he says ,completely ignoring Yuta's less than appropriate remarks. You feel a warm feeling spread in your entire body , adrenaline coursing through your veins. He sends a soft smile in your direction , his eyes turning into crescent moons ,and it is enough to make you feel weak in the knees.

"Hi, Johnny. " you manage to reply and smile back , unlike most days.

Johnny's heart leaps at your response ,not expecting you to be any different from other days when you would reply his enthusiastic greetings with a cold shoulder. Guess today is his lucky day.

"I didn't mean to disturb you guys ,sorry. I just wanted to know if you'd like to have dinner with us. We're getting Sushi. " he asks ,rubbing the back of his neck.

Your eyes fall on the sunflower tattoo on his forearm and you have this sudden urge to wrap your arms around his slim waist and bury your face in his chest.

"Yes,sure,I guess. " you say with a slight chuckle.

"Aren't you gonna ask me,too ,Johnny?" Yuta chimes in ,pouting and batting his eyes at him. Johnny rolls his eyes.

"Shut the fuck up ,Nakamoto. " he huffs.

Johnny looks over at you again and in a tone very different from the one he just used on Yuta, he asks, "Are you okay with sushi? We can order something else if you want."

"Oh,I love sushi! Don't worry about it. "

Lies. You hate sushi more than anything else in the entire universe.

The sushi is a lot more digestible today than those million times when Jaehyun and Yuta took you out to eat (forcefully) sushi.

It still doesn't suit your taste buds but you could eat it without wanting to throw up,thanks to the company you have .

You and Johnny sit face to face on the dining table while Yuta sits beside Johnny and Taeil ,Mark and Taeyong are in front of the television, watching a game of football.

"Hmm..this is really so good." Yuta exclaims as he takes the last piece and stuffs it inside his mouth . Fat ass.

"I know right. How are you liking it, y/n?" Johnny asks , his eyes shifting to you. You feel as if you're melting under his gaze. As if his eyes were the sun and you were ice.

"It's good. Really good. " you reply with a chuckle, forcing the last piece down your throat with a sip of water.

An achievement.

You hear Yuta's phone go off ,vibrating in his pockets along with that annoying ringtone of his.

"Yeah,what?" He speaks into the phone. You figure out it's one of his classmates by the careless tone of his voice.

"What the fuck? Are you serious?" Yuta screams , his voice now laced with urgency. His eyes widen, "We have a class test tomorrow? How did I not know about this?"

You look over at your panic stricken best friend and so does Johnny . Your gazes meet and the two of you burst into giggles.

Yuta rolls his eyes at the both of you but doesn't say anything. He gets up from his seat ,his phone still attached to his ear.

"Johnny,my dude,please walk my best friend home. I can't trust the others. Please. " Yuta says to Johnny and disappears off to his room , and you know for sure that he's going to cram his notes till the next morning.

Yuta's words lingers in the air between you and Johnny and you find a sudden interest in the hem of the table cloth in front of you. You rub the cloth between your thumb and forefinger ,the muslin cloth's soft texture distracting you from Johnny's intimidating gaze.

"So,um..when would you like to go back home?" He asks , not being able to muster up the courage to look into your eyes.

You chuckle- you didn't mean to but the bubbling laughter erupted from your throat and reached your lips before you could even stop it.

"Why? Do you want me out of your abode so bad? " you tease.

You never tease Johnny. You never even joke around with him. You don't smile at him ,you don't chuckle at him. Yet here we are.

You were being very brave today and you hated to admit it , but you liked it.

Johnny's eyes widen at your unexpected response as you once again surprise him by not giving him a cold, careless response. His heart does a backflip.

You have your lips curved up in a smile and your eyes focused on him.

This feels like a dream, to both of you.

"No, no ,of course not. You can stay for as long as you like." He replies nervously.

You shake your head with a soft giggle, " Thank you for the offer but it's very late now. All of us have a busy day tomorrow so we should get going now. "

The night air is cooler now than it had been when you arrived at the boys apartment and you regret not wearing warmer clothes.

Johnny walks along with you on the sidewalk, his eyes drifting to look over you once in a while. He carries your bag in his because he insisted that a lady shouldn't have to carry so many things when he's right there.

"Why do you never talk to me unless I talk to you first? " Johnny asks in a small voice after a few minutes of leaving their apartment.

Your body stiffens at the question, your mind desperately trying to come up with a proper reply. You want to answer him , with all honesty , that you can't do many things that you want to because of your never ending fears. You want to go bungee jumping but you're afraid of heights , you want to talk to him first but you're afraid he won't share the same enthusiasm as you.

You were afraid of attachments and afraid of the unknown, both of which were complete opposites of the other.

"That's not true." You reply,trying to laugh it off.

He looks at you with sorrowful eyes, not quite returning your laugh. You feel your heart clench.

"Have I done anything to offend you ,y/n? If yes ,then please let me know because I really care about you and I would hate to disappoint you. " he says.

The streets are quite and calm and for a moment, it is only you and Johnny in this vast universe - his beautiful black eyes and your warm cheeks , his tousled hair and your nervous hands.

"No ,you haven't disappointed me. It's just...that we're in a big friend circle and it's not possible to ,you know ,be close with everyone. "

That is a pathetic excuse, y/n, you tell yourself.

His lips curve up in a small smile now, the worried wrinkles from the corner of his eyes disappearing.

"We can be, y /n. Of course we can. Shall we start from now on then?" He replies , enthusiastically, thrusting his hand in your direction.

Your heart thumps at a speed faster than the speed of light as you decide whether or not to shake his perfectly shaped, veiny,soft hand.

You're afraid of attachments.

But you're also madly in love with Johnny Suh.

You take his hand.

It is late in the evening at your college and you know for sure that you'll be bashed the moment you step into the auditorium .

After classes got over ,you had promised Lia that you'd help with the food stalls allotation and decoration but you ended up staying back with your swim team ,discussing strategies for the final competition day , hence causing your delay.

You look over at Johnny who stands outside the auditorium door , helping the decorating team with some posters and flyers.

"Mark is mad." he says when he sees you rushing towards the door, struggling with all the books and posters and ribbons in your hands.

You sigh, " I know, goddamn it."

He opens the door without saying anything and walks behind you into the auditorium, much to your surprise.

You see Mark standing by the stage , letting out frustrated noises and pointing at random decorations which didn't need fixing but according to him they did. Oh , boy,was he mad.

"Mark, " you jog towards him, trying to get a proper hold of things you are carrying before you find a table to dump them on.

"Gosh,y/n! You are an hour and a half late! We have so much to do and only ten days are left!" He yells at you,pointing at his wrist watch.

You squeeze your eyes shut to lessen the impact of his annoyingly loud voice.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I was with the team and well..we lost track of time. I'm so sorry again ,okay? I'll get to work right now. " you say,standing in front of the angry,tiny man in front of you.

You arch your back, trying to hold on to the things in your arms without letting anything fall onto the ground. You had one too many things to carry and sadly only two hands.

"I'll get that for you." You feel two hands grab your things from behind,the arms going over your shoulders and taking the chart papers and ribbons from your hold.

And you don't even have to look back to know that it is Johnny. You have him memorised by heart - from the color of his eyes to the softness of his fingertips, from his soothing, honey like voice to his smell. He's like a book you've read a fair amount of times yet ,you never seem to get tired of it.

"Thank you. " you manage to reply through the loud sound of your heartbeat and gushing of blood in your ears.

You almost miss the warmth of his body when he walks away to put your things on the table .

You know what , " Mark starts. He looks like he's about to throw up. On you. "Just get back to work. Ew. Fuck. Y'all really getting handsy in front of my innocent eyes."

You look at him with wide eyes. "Hey, we were not - "

And if Ryujin had not interrupted you at that moment, you'd have beaten the hell out Mark Lee ; not because he had accused you of doing something you didn't do but because he had triggered a part of your imagination you didn't even know you had.

It is on the same night that Yeji makes you sit on the auditorium floor and color the huge college logo they had been outlining since the morning , while half of the squad goes out to buy some cheap dinner and cold drinks and the other half is working outside the auditorium.

"I can't believe you are leaving me alone in this huge auditorium. " you mutter when Yeji jogs towards the door to join the others. So much for being friends since childhood.

"We'll be back in fifteen to twenty minutes, y/n. " she replies. " or do you want me to call Johnny to keep you company in this huge ,empty auditorium?"

You roll your eyes at her,hoping she's joking about it. But apparently not because within two minutes , you see Johnny walking up towards you.

His presence as if automatically puts a smile on your face ,like flipping on a light switch. You usually tense up on seeing him but from the last few days, things have been different, better even.

"Woah,this looks so cool." He says as he sits across from you, a pen and notepad in his hands. He smiles at you with so much sincerity that it takes everything in you to not throw yourself at him and press a kiss to his dimples.

"I know. But I'm afraid my poor coloring skills are going to ruin it. " you comment. You dip the brush in your hands into the bowl of water sitting beside you.

"I'm sure it'll be good. It looks good already." He replies, his voice laced with fascination. You giggle at his words , as you stretch your hands and back, groaning from all the pent up tension in your joints. Something you wouldn't have dared to do in front of him a few weeks ago.

Johnny laughs. " I can help you if you want . You can rest till the others come back. " You don't even think twice before agreeing.

As long as he's near you , it doesn't matter.

He comes up to sit by your side ,grabbing the paint brush and starting to fill colors into the blank spaces. With his eyes focused on the picture , you sit back and take in the view in front of you. The long sleeves of his tshirt are rolled upto the elbow, exposing the veins on his forearm. There is dirt and dust on his pants from all the work he's been doing today and then your eyes fall on his face, absorbing the handsome features god had bestowed him with. You notice a few strands of longer hair falling over his forehead, covering his eyes as he struggles to remove them with his non dominant hand. And before you can stop yourself , your fingers find their way to his forehead, pushing his hair away softly.

"Thanks,y/n." He says with a shy smile, the undeniable shine in his eyes almost makes you see a ray of hope - that Johnny Suh might be harboring the same feelings for you that you do for him. Your heart swells with excitement.

And without even realizing it, you feel yourself find comfort in his warm presence.

Your middle school maths teacher had once told you that time passes in the blink of an eye when there's an imminent danger at the end of the line and truly so ,the next few days fly pass by like wind and you soon find yourself running from place to place to make sure all finishing touches are done.

"Did you check out the pool areas and basketball bleachers? " Jaehyun asks, as you two make your way to the auditorium where Mark and Ryunin were to hold a last group meeting before tomorrow's big day. "Yeah. I did. Twice." You reply, stressing on the last word. Jaehyun heaves a tired sigh and you two turn a corner to walk toward the auditorium.

Your heart rate picks up when you see a familiar face standing in front of the door, leaning against a pillar. And you find your lips automatically stretching into a smile. "What is he doing outside ? Is the meeting over? " Jaehyun asks when he notices Johnny.

You shrug , "Don't know."

Oh,but you do know why he's outside ; this has now become an unsaid tradition between you two to wait for the other during group meetings. Johnny didn't acknowledge it,neither did you, but it was there, as distinct as Mark Lee's voice.

He sees you and his face breaks into a grin, his cheeks flushed and heart racing just like yours. And it makes the light at the end of the tunnel shine brighter.

"Is the meeting over yet?" Jaehyun asks Johnny, you following close behind.

"No,not even started." Johnny replies and then turns to you, his eyes burning into yours. " And Y/n and I have been instructed to buy tonight's dinner so we I'll borrow her for a while."

Your eyes widen at the new information but you see Jaehyun shrug and walk inside as if it weren't a big deal - but it was, you will be out alone with Johnny and it was making you feel sick , in a good way.

"Shall we get going?" He asks you ,cocking his eyebrows playfully.

You nod ,trying to hide your red cheeks. And he sees them.

You've been into his car only a a few times , most of which you don't remember because either you were too drunk or too sleepy to register what was happening around you. This is the first time you are actually inside his car,mind and body, sitting in the passenger's seat and taking in Johnny's smell that lingers in every corner of the car.

You notice how tidy the car looks,the clean seats and windows, no extra tissues lying here and there, no money receipts crushed into seat pockets, his car is everything Lia's isn't. The drive to the convenient store is short and silent - except for a few glances you both steal at each other without the other knowing.

"What should we get? Instant noodles or something else?" He asks you as you two look around the different aisles, walking close together that you didn't even realise your shoulder was pressed to his arm till he stopped abruptly in front of the fridge.

You clear your throat, "Let's get instant noodles. That's what they eat always anyway."

He nods and you grab enough instant noodles and drinks for your entire squad and soon find yourself back in the car with him.

You settle yourself into the seat as he climbs into the driver's seat,looking apparently angry, his eyebrows knitted and mouth turned into a frown.

"What's wrong? " you ask him ,concerned.

He looks over at you , with a small, guilty smile on his lips. He shakes his head , "Nothing. It's a ridiculous thought I had suddenly. "

"Come on ,tell me ." You whine , hitting his arm softly, "I'm sure its not a ridiculous thought. "

His smile widens but he doesn't answer ,instead he just leans toward you, Your faces just inches apart. If you were nervous before now you are completely sure you're about to lose your mind. You had imagined these scenarios in your head many times before ,but if truth be told, it feels way better in real life. The close proximity of your bodies , mixed breathings and his intense eyes staring at you like you're his favorite pizza, like you're a sunday morning after a very tiring week , like you're a beautiful flower in the middle of a field of weeds.

"W-what?" You stutter nervously. He chuckles , stretching his hand out to reach for the seatbelt and pull it across your body and then locks it tightly.

"It is a very , very ridiculous thought,y/n." he whispers. He is still leaning so close to you and you know for sure that if you weren't sitting already ,your knees would have given up below you.

"I'm sure it's not." You mumble but you're not sure if he hears you.

When you reach the auditorium, you find your friends sprawled on the floor, some playing with their phones and some having a mid college existential crisis.

"Guys,we're back. " Johnny announces enthusiastically as he runs towards the group, all of their faces lighting up when they see the food your hands.

But you feel far away from them, like you are there but your heart is not,like your heart has been left behind in Johnny's car,covered in his scent and his intoxicating gaze.

"Y/n, why do you look like you've seen a ghost? " Lia points out that night , lying on her bed with her blanket wrapped around her body. You shrug and let out a fake ass shit giggle, "No, I'm just nervous...for tomorrow, you know."

"Don't be. I'm sure you'll do great and even if you don't, we have an after party to wash all your sorrows away. " she says with an excited smile.

"Oh wow,that's great. " you reply with another fake chuckle.

Oh wow, you'll have to be around Johnny the whole day tomorrow. You are not sure if you are ready to see him yet.

Lia narrows her eyes at you but let's it slip,and you're thankful for that ,for you wouldn't know what to tell her when she insists on knowing your thoughts.

Could anyone blame you though, you'd had an almost moment with your crush. How could anyone expect you to be okay right now?

The weather prediction for today was sunny with a few clouds , but if only anyone could have prepared you for what you were going to see the moment you stepped into the college campus.

You'd felt jealous before , no lie there. You remember the time you saw Johnny hanging out with Yeri, one of your juniors, and laughing with her like there's no tomorrow and you had never wanted to annihilate a human so bad . You hate being jealous. You hate the burning of your heart in your chest ,the accumulation of sweat on your palms, the warm,angry breaths you push out from your nostrils.

"Who is that?" You sound like a bad , jealous female character from a drama when you ask that question but you cannot help yourself anymore. Not when you see a girl from another college running into your Johnny's arms ,giggling like a little girl .

"I-I honestly don't know. He never told us about any girl ." Taeyong says as he looks at your exasperated expression and then at Johnny's excited face. Taeyong is almost angry at Johnny for hurting his friend.

"Yea,he only ever talked about you ." Jaehyun adds from beside you.

But it didn't seem like that from where you stood. You see Johnny wrap his arm around the girl and crush her in his embrace, just how he'd crushed your heart into a million pieces. Something as fragile and previous as your heart and he decided to play with it? Why did he act all nice and sweet to you when he already had another woman in his life? Why did he give you hope only to leave you in the dark?

"Come on , y/n. Don't overthink about it. I'm sure she's just a friend." Taeyong says ,softly tugging at your arm to move you away from that scene.

Taeyong and Jaehyun, in reality, were shocked too. They had never heard Johnny talk about any girl in that way but you. They were sure one day or other,you'd end up together. They were as surprised (and disappointed) as you were.

"Has he ever told you that he liked me? Even once?" Your voice cracks as you feel your eyes fill with tears. "Maybe she's not just a friend. "

Jaehyun rubs your back comfortingly, worried about how he'll have to handle Yuta when he finds out Johnny broke his best friend's heart. Gosh,its going to be a world war.

"He has never openly said anything about liking you ,but he did talk about you a lot. Even until yesterday...we were sure he liked you,dude." Taeyong says .

You shake your head, "If he did like me ,he'd have told you guys. He doesn't and that's the end of it."

And although it shatters your ego , you look away from the pair and walk toward the swimming pool complex where your team awaits you.

When you enter the pool area, Taeyong and Jaehyun immediately run toward the audience to be with the others.

And you find your gang-sans Johnny- waving at you from the audience as you walk up to the registration desk and put in your name.

Your heart feels so heavy ,like those dumbbells that Yuta uses ,but a thousand times more heavier. You have no desire or energy to swim anymore. You just want to lie in bed and cry your heart out.

But sadly you didn't have much of an option..

"Good luck, y/l/n. Go easy on the opponents." Your coach tells you with a chuckle. You force a smile as you nod. Talk about overestimating one's skills.

You enter the changing room and quickly strip off all your clothes ,leaving you in your tight Speedo swimsuit . You tie your hair in a ponytail and are about to head out when someone bumps into you ,quite roughly to be frank.

"Watch out ,girl,jeez. " you mutter to her,rubbing your sides.

The jealousy from a few minutes ago comes back but this time not in the form of drizzle, this time it's a whole storm.

It's the same girl from before, the one with Johnny.

"I'm so sorry. " the girl says ,looking back at you with an apologetic look.

She's pretty,you realize. Long black hair and a mole under her eye ,she looks like she could be a model in training somewhere. Long eyelashes , a slim waist and perfectly smooth looking skin ,she has everything you ever wanted ,including Johnny Suh. She's pretty ,prettier than you at least.

"What's your name?" You don't want to know that name ,yet those words spill out of your mouth.

"I'm Joy. From the performing arts college." She thrusts her hand towards you for a handshake. " and you?"

"I'm y/n. " you reply ,the frown on your lips never once leaving .

"You're swimming too ,right? It's going to be great!" She says.

"Yeah,its going to be really great. " you take her hand.

You can't have Johnny ,but at least you can have the trophy.

The four basic stroke races get over within the first one hour of the competition and needless to say ,by the time the relay race was announced , you had three gold medals already in your possession.

"Relax your body." Your coach tells your team of girls while you stand in line,ready for the relay race to begin. "Y/n, since you're going last , put in all your energy. We need to win this last round to get the grand trophy."

Directly in front of you, you see your two other teammates stand and stretch their arms by the pool’s edge , their faces bright with a hint of excitement and nervousness. Beside them ,you see Joy and her other pretty friend getting for the race too. With her tight red swimsuit and perfectly done forearm tattoo , she has everyone's attention on her. And you bet that everyone in the audience was rooting for her.

You nod at your coach's words while he turns around to speak with your partner as you once again look at your new mortal enemy, your teeth gritting unconsciously and your gaze turning more into a glare.

"Yayyy!!! Y/n,let's get it!" You hear your friends cheer from and you giggle for the first since this stupid day began. Mark ,Yuta and Taeyong are cheering for you on top of their lungs while the girls are holding posters with your name written on them . You wonder when they had the time to make them. And the rest of the guys are clapping their hands like there's no tomorrow.

Everyone except Johnny.

He sits in between Mark and Haechan, his eyes practically glued to your frame and your eyes meet his for an annoyingly long second, he smiles at you and mouths 'best of luck .'

You look away from him ,your body burning with rage. So now he's going to pretend to know you? Or maybe he wasn't waving at you at all,maybe he is just looking at Joy and your self absorbed mind assumed that he was looking at you? Possibilities are infinite but time is not; time is very precious.

"You guys have to win okay?" You hear the coach say one last time , before patting you on your heads and walking away.

Somewhere behind you ,you hear a stand by whistle go off and your team mates on the opposite side immediately walk up on the platform.

"On your marks."

Thump.

"Get , set."

Thump.

"Go!"

The race starts off pretty smoothly, your teammate cutting through the water as if this is everything she'd ever known ,her speed unmatched with anyone else's. And when she reaches your side,your partner immediately jumps off into the water , the steady speed still maintained.

The next few seconds pass fleet away in the blink of an eye and soon your turn comes up ,you realize, as you climb up to the platform ,bending over to take a diving position.

And when your body hits the water ,you feel all the anger ,rage, sadness, envy being channeled into strength and energy. Your body moves against the waves like that it what it was meant to be doing ; not running, not walking but swimming.

Your ears block out all noises around you,your mind focusing on nothing but the finish line.

And the very second your hand touches the wall on the opposite side , your body relaxes and your head pops out of the water like a cork. The audience erupts into claps and cheers and whistles and your name being repeated on everyone's tongue.

Panting and smiling and fist pumping together at the same time is tiring but you do it anyway.

After all,you'd just won your team the swimming trophy.

You feel a little light headed but it doesn't affect you at all ; you had proven yourself in front of your friends and teachers once again .

Johnny and His lovely Joy can go eat shit for all you care. ( you do care about Johnny , you're just being stupid rn)

"I'm so proud of you , baby !" Ryujin helps you up from the pool while the other girls engulf you in a hug ,not minding the fact that your entire body is dripping wet with the chlorinated pool water.

The guys arrive shortly after and Yuta presses a loving kiss on your head, "Congratulations, bitch."

But amongst the crowd of people surrounding you, the pats on your back and side hugs,the happy faces congratulating you, you feel almost empty. Like something was missing. Like the last piece of an almost completed puzzle .

Your eyes scan the people around you , looking for none other than Johnny and when you finally spot him, your heart breaks even more as if it already wasn't completely smashed into tiny pieces .

Joy has tears of failure running down her face and Johnny brushes them away with his thumbs, her head finding a comfortable place on his shoulders.

You'd always wondered what it must feel like to be in such an intimate situation with Johnny. You had wanted to experience it ,first hand , but by the looks of it, that might never happen.

Beacuse you winning the competition is not more important than Joy losing it.

Beacuse you are not more important than Joy.

"What do you mean you don't want to go to the after party? " Yuta has been hanging out with Mark way too much, you think. His voice is almost,if not more, as loud and annoying as Mark's now.

"I don't feel very good. Can you please drop me home? Then you guys can go and have fun." You reply, not quite looking at your best friend. You're afraid he'd be able to read through you , just how he always does.

"This is not about you , is it? It's about Johnny. Taeyong and Jaehyun told me." There he goes.

"Think whatever you want. I just want to be alone for a while, please." You say.

He pauses the music playing in the car, tugging at the sleeve of your tshirt.

The image of Johnny and Joy flash in your mind ,still fresh even though it happened a almost five hours ago. You remember how tenderly Johnny had held her and how lovingly Joy had stared at him.

“I really thought he liked me ,you know. I don’t even blame him right now. I should have known better than to get attached,break my oath of forever maintaining distance from him. “ you speak in a hoarse voice, the lump in your throat growing painfully.

Yuta stares at you for a few seconds,then shakes his head with his eyes on the car dashboard, “Its not your fault either, y/n. All of us thought he liked you too.”

You see Yuta take out the keys from his pocket and the pretty,yellow flower keychain attached with it.Johnny had given him that on his last birthday,you recall.

Your eyes drift to various places in the car, from the blue heart sticker on the mirror, to the bills stacked into the pockets, the empty cold drink bottles and the smell of lavender spray in the air, everything reminds you of the man you were trying so hard not to think about.

You start softly crying.

"Y/n, goddamnit, you won the completion! You are our swimming champion. And you helped us organize this event too. You're today's star. Would you really let that asshole ruin it?" Yuta demands,passing over a tissue to you.

The words ' that asshole ' stick with you , stinging your heart which was still in love with Johnny but you don’t say anything. Yuta was only trying to make you feel better.

Not earning a reply from you,he groans,"I don't care what you want ,y/n. We're going to the after party at Haechan's family farm house and staying there tonight. That's Final. " he declares , turning the key and you hear the car engine revving.

"I'll cry if I see him. " you pout,sniffing.

"Don't worry, if he makes you cry,I'll kill him.." Yuta replies as you drive off to Haechan's farm house.

The entire drive, your mind keeps playing the moments you were trying so hard to forget and you hated it. So,so much. You felt like a prisoner in your own mind.

Yesterday night , in the car,when Johnny leaned down towards you, you could have sworn that he was in love with you.

But now, not as much.

You wonder if Joy had felt special when he comforted her ,because you sure as hell would have. You would have held him like the earth was ending today and he was only thing that could keep you alive.

"We're here. " Yuta announces as you pull over in front of the huge mansion just a little away from your college campus.

You have been here many times before so the beauty of the house doesn't baffle you anymore but your eyes do go wide in realization of how rich Haechan's family really is. Every damn time.

As you step out of the car , your sneakers squeaking against the ground beneath you, you can already hear the loud music coming from the lawn and the smell of barbecued food and alcohol makes you almost want to enjoy the party.

"You're late,y/n!" A very drunk Doyoung walks towards you ,Taeil waddling behind him with two glasses of vodka shots in his hands.

"I know I'm sorry. I hope I didn't miss much." you say ,slightly embarrassed at the fact that you almost skipped the party.

They both hug you tightly as you wince from the strong smell of alcohol, "Congratulations ,sweetheart!" Taeil slurs while Doyoung sings, " we are the champion ~" on the top of his lungs.

"Gosh,yeah,thanks guys." you push their intoxicated bodies away with Yuta's help and make your way towards the lawn where your friends sit around a bonfire , dancing ,singing ,talking ,having the time of their lives. You find yourself smiling a little on seeing at their happy faces. Your eyes roam around the group until they find Johnny , eating roasted marshmallows from a small plate and your first instinct is almost to say ' hi ' but you remember Joy and how painfully sweet they were with each other and you revert your eyes from him the moment he looks in your direction. Your heart paces rapidly, yearning for his attention but you know you wouldn't get it ,no matter what, so you walk inside the house, into the kitchen to grab something for yourself.

"That piece of shit Yeji burnt the meat." Chaeryong complains to you as she volunteers to fill your plate with food. You wonder how many more such swimming competitions you'd have to win for your friends to be this generous with you everyday. "Thank god Taeil saved it before he got horribly drunk." , she adds.

You giggle a little.

All of a sudden, you feel a tap on your shoulder and when you turn around , you are filled with dread. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t expect this.

" Hey,y/n. Congratulations on winning the trophy!" Johnny says with a bright smile.

As if you give two shits about it, you find yourself thinking for a split second. You look up at the tall man towering over you,smiling like he didn't butcher your heart earlier. He wears a warm grey hoodie with his favorite and probably only pair of blue jeans. His hair is slicked backwards ,exposing the forehead you'd often wait so eagerly to see. His signature cologne makes you feel weak , and if you weren't sober ,you knew things would have gone down pretty quick.

But you can't be rude to him - you could never be rude to him even if you wanted to.

"Thanks." You mutter in a small voice,taking the plate from Chaeryong.

Johnny furrows his eyebrows at your dull reaction and then eyes Chaeryong as if to ask what happened. She shrugs and awkwardly walks away from you two.

Brilliant. Now you have to face Johhny alone.

"Is something wrong,y/n?" He asks ,his concerned voice sending shivers down your body.

You shake your head, "No. Why do you ask?" You look around the place to look for your best friend. Where's he when you need him the most?

Johnny leans over closer to you. "You were ignoring me during the competition but I shrugged it off. And now you're acting like that again. " he says ,his breath fanning for against the side of your face, "I must have done something. "

You want to push him away but as shameless as it sounds , you were enjoying this attention he was giving you and even more than that, you were enjoying how physically close he was to you.

But it didn't mean you would forgive him. Or Joy for that matter.

"Why should you care," you chuckle sarcastically , "I'm not Joy. So don't bother."

Change of mind - maybe you could be rude to him if you tried really,really hard.

His face twists in further confusion.

" How do you know her? And why is she in this conversation again?" He asks,now softly pushing you against the kitchen counter , his hands on either side of you. He has you trapped ,literally.

You sigh, trying to hide the burning of your cheeks and the drying of your throat. You can't let your guard down. "I saw you...with her in the morning. Hugging, staring at each other like you saw the galaxy in each other's eyes. " you huff , your heart heavy from the pain that memory brings.

Johnny laughs , a deep, genuine laughter,erupting from his throat fills the kitchen. You feel like you were walking in the same tunnel again, Johnny waiting for you at the end with a source of light in his hands.

"Are you perhaps ," he leans in closer to your face, just like last night in the car ,"jealous?"

Of course you were jealous. You had always been jealous of anyone who was privileged enough to enjoy Johnny's extremely pleasant company ,especially in your absence.

" No. " Liar.

He presses his lips together in a line ,as if trying to suppress a smile.

"Then why are you turning red like a tomato?" He asks.

You turn your face away from him ,trying to move away from his grasp but he gently puts his index finger under your chin and makes you look at him.

"Y/n, Joy is my cousin." he says. Guilt punches you in the stomach like your stomach were a punching bag and the guilt was a boxer,strong and determined. You feel the blood pulsating in your ears ,in your throat ,in your temples. "I am not dating her or seeing her or whatever you think I'm doing with her. "

You look down at your feet but he makes you look at him again "I'm sorry." You mutter

"Do you remember last night I told you I had some useless thoughts?" He asks you ,his right hand now wrapping around your waist.

You nod your head ,the shame and guilt of falsely accusing him and Joy of something they never did not allowing you to look directly into his eyes.

"This is what I wanted to do. " he pulls your chin closer ,as you stand on your tip toes. Your faces were just so close ,you could feel his lips brush past yours, "May I?" He breathes.

You only find a small whisper to reply him with, "Yes. "

The feeling of his lips pressing against yours was something even your imagination couldn't have prepared you for. His soft, tender touch mixed with the urgency of the kiss made it feel even more surreal than it already was. Your noses glide against each other as he presses you closer and closer till there was no ' closer ' left. He held you firmly by the waist and your hands found their way around his neck as you depended the kiss,your tongues touching and breaths matching each other. You could feel the taste of the marshmallows from earlier and your stomach feels all giddy and excited.

And by the time you both pull away, you are panting, struggling to catch your breath as he supports your body against the counter.

"I like you ,y/n. I always have. I just didn't know how to approach you. " he says , brushing a few hair strands away from your forehead, "And I'm so sorry for making you upset today."

You giggle a little, confused whether to reply to his confession or accept his apology.

You decide to do both. " I like you ,too,Johnny Suh. So much. " you lean your forehead on his ," and it's fine. You didn't mean to make me feel bad ,I was being paranoid. I'm sorry too. "

Johnny pulls away to look at you ,his swollen lips curved into a heartwarming smile.

"I bet you looked cute while being jealous." He says , pecking your nose softly.

You don't reply ; instead you stare at his eyes, your heart pumping out these overwhelming emotions that you couldn't quite understand yet but liked it nevertheless. Your eyes shine like the sky on a cloudless night,making his knees feel like jelly and butterflies erupting in his stomach. At that moment , you realise that it was your eyes wherein he found his galaxy , his sun and stars - not Joy, not any other woman - it was always been you.

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