#started it last week during a lull at work and it took me 2-3 days to fully get thru the demo and i loved every goddamn minute of it

[in-maidjan]

Commander // Exile

anyway @exilethegame has taken over my life--

#started it last week during a lull at work and it took me 2-3 days to fully get thru the demo and i loved every goddamn minute of it #immediately felt compelled to draw the mc i had in mind after and almost destroyed my hand in the process with the shading lol #5 days and over 20 files = this fuck in their slutty slutty scarf #exile the game #the exile #oc; ashe medai #casually fucking ripped the name of an npc for the future game i want to run for this babe too thats what we call Strategy dear

[ot7always]

Ignorantly, Yours

Word Count: 10.6k

Pairing: Alpha!Jimin x Omega!Reader

Genre: Wolf!AU, Best Friends to Lovers!AU; fluff, smut, angst

Warnings: dom!Jimin, sub!reader, A/B/O dynamics, heat sex, fingering, unprotected sex, dirty talk (including a bit of possessiveness), marking, creampie, hair pulling, degradation, praise, rough sex, multiple orgasms

Rating: 18+

Summary:  You never could have expected your best friend to show up at your apartment right as you were about to go into heat, but when he did, something in you just wouldn’t let him go.

A/N: Truly, this was never supposed to be more than drabble. Which truly became a nuisance once it grew a lot and I had to go back and change a lot of things during editing. This is my first fic with some sort of supernatural element to it, and I had a lot of fun! I hope you guys enjoy, and please let me know what you think!

Reposted without the header gif and without any links or taglist. Sorry for any inconvenience if you were already looking at the first post. I will reblog with the taglist shortly.

--

Maybe it should have been embarrassing.

Maybe it was, 5 years ago when the habit first started.

5 years ago, when you’d had your first pre-heat. When the world had quickly become too overwhelming, your nose unused to the myriad of scents that assaulted you in your sensitivity. Your skin feeling so raw that even the clothes on your back felt uncomfortable.

It was then, in your childhood bedroom, amidst everything else, you recognized a scent that accompanied you through your life for as long as you could remember. A scent that felt like home, felt like warm days under the sun and shared laughter under blankets at midnight.

Your nose had led you to the bottom drawer of your dresser, your hands digging through the mess of fabric there until you pulled out an orange hoodie. You didn’t remember ever having it, and it looked small enough to have been from years ago – maybe even from before he presented.

But as you pulled it out of that drawer, the scent that might have been faint to you any other day filled your nostrils. A blueberry and pine scent that left you feeling calmer instantly, safer. Whether that had to do more with your friendship or his alpha status wasn’t a thought that crossed your mind. All you knew at the time was that it made everything better – he made everything better, even when he wasn’t there.

That marked the first time you laid in your bed, curling yourself around that small piece of comfort, your face shoved into the soft fabric. The peace that washed over you then was addicting, and any thought of giving up that feeling was unfathomable.

And if Jimin noticed how you were covered in his own scent when he saw you after every heat since that day, he didn’t say a thing.

--

You missed him a lot.

It wasn’t as though his university was that far away, and you should have grown used to it after several years of living apart for most of the year. Weekend visits were hardly enough when you’d spent more time together than apart growing up.

It definitely didn’t feel like enough when you were lying in bed, surrounded by the products of your skillful swiping over the years during Jimin’s visits. Hoodies, t-shirts – you had at least a dozen by now. All of which were tossed across your bed alongside you, your upper body already clad in one of his oversized hoodies.

When your pre-heat started affecting you yesterday, you’d already emailed your professors to tell them you wouldn’t be able to make it to class for the week. They, of course, understood – every university accommodated for their students to get a week off about every 3 months for this exact reason.

You were already overcome by exhaustion, Jimin’s scent wafting around the room lulling you into a sleepy daze.

It was common for an omega to nest amongst an alpha’s scent before their heat, though said alpha would typically be their partner.

It wasn’t something you liked to think on very often. Something like this couldn’t be that uncommon, right? After all, he was your first friend, and that went beyond being an alpha or omega. Besides, if it bothered him, wouldn’t he have already called you out for it by now? Wouldn’t he have said something when he realized that even when you’d started spending every heat with an alpha, his scent was still somewhere in there?

You tried not to worry too much about it. It didn’t matter, anyway.

Based on how you were feeling, you knew your heat would probably be here within 2 or 3 days. Which meant you should probably call someone soon to ask them to help you through it. It was normal practice to ask a friend to help you with your heat, but it was a line you’d never crossed with Jimin. Rejection was never something you dealt with well, and you were too afraid to put him, of all people, in that position. Knowing him, he would agree even if he didn’t want to.

Who, then? Namjoon? Hoseok? Both have agreed before, though the notion of crossing your room to pick up the phone you’d so foolishly left on the dresser was severely unappealing.

Instead, you let your eyes flutter shut, your face nuzzling into a blue and red scarf Jimin had forgotten at your apartment last winter. As the tranquility washed over you, your mind drifted closer and closer to sleep, warm and cozy and surrounded by Jimin’s scent.

Until the doorbell rang through your apartment.

At first you elected to ignore it, hoping whoever it was would get the hint and go away. But when it sounded out 2 more times after you hadn’t moved in several minutes, you groaned.

Wasn’t it bad etiquette to do this to someone? Surely that had to be written in a handbook somewhere.

With heavy limbs, you dragged yourself out of bed, flipping the hood up on your (well, Jimin’s) hoodie. As much as it may have been a bad idea to answer the door by yourself in pre-heat, your scent enveloped by an alpha’s would be enough to ward off unwanted advances. Though there were definitely bad people in the world, it took a truly insane person to go after an omega scented by an alpha.

When you made it to the door, you took a deep breath, preparing yourself to ream out whoever was on the other side. While you could sense someone’s presence there, every apartment was insulated, scent-wise, for protection. You didn’t know what to expect.

But of every possibility, when you opened the door, you didn’t expect to get assaulted by the very scent you’d been basking in only minutes ago. You didn’t notice how his eyes widened or how his pupils dilated when your scent hit him, too preoccupied by your body’s visceral reaction.

The full force of his scent almost had your knees buckling, your eyelids growing heavier as every single part of you instinctively yearned to curl up into him. Maybe your heat was closer than you thought.

When you were finally able to focus your eyes on him, his teeth were biting into his bottom lip, the hand holding an overnight bag clenched so hard his knuckles were white.

You didn’t give him the chance to say anything before you were stumbling forward, colliding messily with him, only focused on getting as close to him as possible.

You barely heard a mumbled ‘shit,’ not registering that he backed you into your apartment until you heard the door slam, his bag hitting the floor.

“Jimin,” you mumbled, your hands grasping at his shirt, eyes closed as you shoved your face into his neck, sighing happily when you were finally as close to the source of your happiness as possible.

But much to your discontent, he pushed you from him, keeping you an arms’ length away. The whimper you let out in response sounded pathetic even to your own ears, but every cell in your body was screaming to get as close to him as possible.

“Y/N,” he said firmly, the unusual hardness in his tone snapping you out of your daze slightly, wide eyes fixing onto his face. He audibly gulped at the glazed look in your eyes, before continuing. “You’re in heat.”

“I’m not,” you whined, trying to push against his hands, but he was stronger than you were.

“You will be,” he responded, letting out an incredulous sigh. “Fuck. I meant to surprise you but I forgot what the date was, I’m so sorry.”

“But I’m not yet,” you complained, changing tactics and instead aiming to shove your nose into the wrists near your shoulders. When your hair swished with your movement, sending a whiff of shampoo and your scent Jimin’s way, he groaned loudly.

“God, I can’t be here, I should go,” he said through gritted teeth. But when he started leaning down to pick his bag back up, you panicked.

“NO!” you yelled, launching yourself at him with your whole weight, not at all concerned about how he stumbled back in surprise. Your hands gripping onto his waist, you looked at him with wide eyes, your irises barely visible around the black of your dilated pupils. “Please don’t leave.”

His composure visibly cracked at the desperation on your face, but the sensation of your hands trembling in their grip on him brought him back to reality. “I can’t stay, I know that you know that-”

“Why?” you cried, your bottom lip trembling. The logical part of you deep inside knew you were being unreasonable, but even that part of you was a slave to instinct. All you knew was that Jimin got you through every pre-heat, and here Jimin was in front of you now. He’d never seen you like this, not ever in the last 5 years. And now that he has, nothing has ever been more unappealing than the thought of him walking out your front door.

He was very clearly taking shallow breaths, eventually bringing his own wrist to his nose to try to drown out everything else. Based on the low grunt he let out, it didn’t seem to be working very well.

“You smell like you’re going to go into heat at any moment, fuck, I can’t,” he panted, every part of him resisting the urge to grab you and scent you until there was absolutely no question whether you were his.

Except you weren’t his.

“I-I...” he stuttered, the scent of you not only clinging to him, but everywhere throughout the apartment occupying every part of his brain. “I need to go, I’ll call someone for you, Hoseok or-”

But that was definitely the wrong thing to say, because you sprung back from him as though you’ve been burned. When you looked at him as though he’d betrayed you, he knew he’d messed up.

“Why? You’re already here,” you spat out. “Don’t go,” you finished in a much weaker voice, pleading gaze fixing onto his.

A flash of pain went through him when he saw you hug yourself around the middle, as though to appear smaller. As though to protect yourself. From him.

“You don’t know what you’re asking of me.”

“I know exactly what I’m asking of you!” you wailed, the space between you feeling wider than it’s ever been.

“I can’t,” he repeated, a tinge of desperation making its way into his tone. Why was this so hard? From what he knew about omega heats and pre-heats, without a partner or relationship you shouldn’t have cared this much about which alpha stayed with you.

“Aren’t we friends? Can’t you just stay?” you begged, eyes brimming with unshed tears. Something about him trying to leave felt like a hole was being ripped through your chest, even if you’d understand why any other day.

“Of course we’re friends,” he said incredulously, a conflicted expression on his face. He knew exactly what you meant, exactly what was implied within that statement. When something like desire crossed his gaze, you felt a dash of hope bloom within you. “But...”

And it was crushed just like that. “Why don’t you want me when I want you? What’s wrong with me?” you sobbed, the tears finally spilling from your eyes as you dropped to your knees.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

The smell of an omega in distress was always something that set off an alpha’s protective instinct.

But the knowledge that he was the one who caused it brought forth an ugly wrenching in his gut.

For all the required readings Jimin had done in the course of his life, nothing had ever taught him what to do when the girl you’re secretly in love with was on the floor crying because you refused to fuck her through her heat.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to. God, did he want to.

But you weren’t there begging for his heart or his love or his devotion – you were begging for his body. Which wasn’t the problem. It wasn’t that he was offended. The problem was that he wanted more than this, and that right now was most definitely not the time to have that conversation.

And it’s not that he didn’t think you knew what you wanted. He knew you knew that you were asking for sex, but he also knew that was all you were asking for. Pre-heat was about preparing for sex, not romance.

As much as a heat could completely fog an omega’s brain, in pre-heat they could still make coherent decisions. It was typically a time spent preparing for heat, a time to call an alpha or to prepare for the much more painful option of suffering alone. They were typically in a perpetual state of exhaustion, bodies crying out for sleep to save up energy for their heat.

But more importantly, it was a time where omegas were at their most emotionally vulnerable, where they gave in to instinct. A time where they surrounded themselves in the things that made them feel safest, most at home.

He knew – he knew you used his scent to get through your pre-heat, but he never thought it meant that much. You were his oldest friend, and the fact that you found comfort in his scent was never something he questioned. He was an alpha, and you scented each other often – it made sense from a biology standpoint.

And – oh.

It hit him then that this was more than an alpha’s refusal to help their friend through their heat. This was more than a refusal for sex.

This was your biggest security blanket pushing you away at your most vulnerable, the person you trusted most to keep you safe leaving you when you were begging him to stay.

He really, really fucked up by coming here.

He should have checked the dates properly in the first place, and now he’d have to deal with the consequences. There was an unbelievably high chance that if he walked out that door, you’d have a breakdown, and he couldn’t just break your heart by leaving now.

Even if it ended up breaking his own. Even if you ended up thinking nothing of it, and he would never be able to erase the memory from his brain.

Because you were begging him to stay out of instinct, out of need. Not out of love. Not that he knew of, not the kind he wanted, at least.

But there was no reason to go there or question you about it, because he knew you’d say anything to make him stay, even if it wasn’t true. Not because you were a liar, but because that’s what your body would push you to do right now.

Knowing that the smell of his own panic would just set you off more, he took a couple deep breaths before falling to his knees in front of you. He had to force down the rising upset in his chest at the scent of your tears, every part of him screaming at himself for upsetting you this deeply.

“Hey,” he called out softly, his hands reaching out to gently pull your hands away from where they were hiding your face. At the sight of your red-rimmed eyes and wet cheeks, his heart tugged. “Look at me.” He slipped a hand forward to cradle your head, brushing against the hair at the nape of your neck. He hoped so badly that he could be a comfort to you, even when he was the one who hurt you in the first place.

He waited almost a minute for you to look up, doing his best to calm you in that time. When you finally raised your eyes to look at him, the fear in your expression was something he’d only ever seen a few times in his life. You were an expert at putting on a brave face for the world, and seeing the uncensored pain displayed there punched him in the gut.

“Baby,” he cooed, pulling you into his arms. He carefully maneuvered your face into the crook of his neck, smiling as you melted into his hold, a content sigh leaving you. He wrapped his arms around you, face rubbing into your hair as he stopped resisting the urge to scent you. He ignored the shiver that ran down his spine at your scent that only seemed to be growing stronger.

The two of you stayed like that for several minutes, your body so limp in his grasp that he had to keep both of you upright himself. He couldn’t tell whether you were awake, goosebumps rising to the surface of his skin as your nose brushed against one of the most sensitive parts of his body.

But when he stood up, wanting to get you somewhere more comfortable than the floor, he felt every muscle in your body tense, a low whine leaving your throat. Your hands grasped onto his shirt. “Jimin-”

“Shh,” he soothed, continuing to nuzzle into you as he stood you both up. “I’m not leaving.”

“You’re not?” you repeated, muffled into his shoulder.

“I’m not.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” He scratched lightly at your scalp as the other hand stroked up and down the length of your back, humming when you finally relaxed again, your arms wrapping around to tug him as close as possible. “Good girl.”

Something in him awakened when he heard the hitch of your breath at his words, but he shoved it down. He had to keep a hold of himself while he still had the chance – because once you were in heat, there would be no rest for either of you. Not when it was taking his entire focus to hold himself back right now and it was only your pre-heat.

“I’m gonna take you to your room, okay?” he asked quietly. When you nodded, he scooped you up, your legs wrapping around his waist, head lolling sleepily against his shoulder.

You were very clearly exhausted, and guilt gnawed away at him for it. The emotional ups and downs of the past half hour must have taken even more out of you – while you tended to be quiet, you were never this quiet, not with him. You seemed to be asleep, steady exhales hitting the skin of his neck.

When he entered your room, his heart skipped in his chest at the sight of his belongings strewn across your mattress, a you-sized gap in the middle where you must have been laying. He couldn’t help the pride swelling in his chest, the possessive part of him thrilled at the notion of you burying yourself in his scent.

He supposed he should be happy you were asleep. Omegas tended to be self-conscious about their nest, which was why he was surprised you agreed to let him take you here so easily. The idea that you felt comfortable enough to let him in here without a fight brought forth a feeling in his gut that felt suspiciously like butterflies.

Easing off the shoes he’d never had the chance to remove at the front door, he brought you both down into the bed, careful not to jostle your form. He laid you down together, your body atop his, heart melting at your tiny noise of content.

He had to bite back a moan when you nuzzled further into his neck, your lips brushing against his skin.

Get it together, Jimin.

He didn’t know if he would ever be relaxed enough to sleep when you were on top of him already smelling like every sinful desire he’s ever had. His cock shouldn’t have been stirring when you looked so innocent, your hands curled up ever-so-slightly under his shirt. And despite everything in his mind telling him that he would regret this, his entire body was screaming in anticipation for this entire weekend.

This wouldn’t be the first time he’s helped an omega through their heat, but everything was different because this was you. Someone he cared about, someone he loved, and he knew you loved him too, whether it was in the way he wanted or not. Heat flared in him at the thought of you wet and desperate only for him, begging to be filled. He knew you’d be out of your mind with lust, and even before seeing it he knew it would be the most beautiful sight he’s ever set eyes upon.

Get a hold of yourself, Jimin.

It was absolutely no use to contemplate these things now, especially not when the scent of his arousal might wake you up and set you off prematurely. You both needed rest – he’d be damned if he didn’t make this the best heat you’d ever had just because he was tired.

And so he wrapped his arms around your middle, willing arousal from his brain and replacing it with thoughts of sleep. Luckily, his body must have been able to sense his need for rest before the upcoming days, and sleep found him easier than anticipated.

--

You awoke to your back hitting your mattress, the first thing you noticed being that your body felt like it was being burned alive. But when you inhaled, the scent of pure alpha overtook all thought, brain incapable of anything other than unadulterated need, arousal shooting to your core almost instantaneously.

When your eyes shot open, fire lit within you when they immediately locked onto Jimin’s dark gaze, his body hovering over yours like he was about to pounce. When he took in the neediness in your eyes, his lip upturned in a salacious smirk, stare burning holes into you.

“Rise and shine, little wolf,” he drawled, hands locking onto your ankles and dragging you down the bed until your face was right below his.

You shivered despite yourself at the predatory expression on his face, holding back the whine that threatened to escape. You felt incapable of speaking, every intake of breath only fogging your mind further, the fire in you becoming so potent it was painful.

You couldn’t help the keening whimper that escaped when he roughly fisted a hand into the hair at the nape of your neck, yanking until your entire neck was on display. You gasped and arched into his body with want as he leaned in to inhale deeply right above your collarbone. The feral growl he let out at your scent had you shuddering, trembling hands trying desperately to pull him closer, but he didn’t relent.

“Please,” you begged, shoving your body upwards as much as possible, desperate to feel his body against your own. At the feeling of his canines brushing against the skin of your neck gently, you felt new wetness rush from you. Your desperation was only growing exponentially with every passing moment, and it felt like if you didn’t get touched soon, you would surely die.

“You smell so fucking good,” he snarled, voice raspier than you’d ever heard it before. He sounded almost pained, and it only set you off further. Everything in you ached for his touch, your cunt clenching around nothing despite Jimin not even having touched you yet. You needed it – needed to be touched, you needed him to quell the ache.

“Hurts,” you gasped out, still trying and failing to grind against his body above you.

“Aw, baby, I’m sorry,” he cooed, pressing his free palm down onto your clothed centre. His breath hitched as you started forcefully grinding against it immediately, a choked whine slipping from your lips at the sudden pressure right where you needed it most.

“Alpha...” you moaned, rutting shamelessly against his hand as you pushed further against the hand in your hair, baring more of the soft expanse of your neck. Your eyes shut as pleasure rocked your system, but it wasn’t enough. You needed more, his cock in your drenched cunt, his nails raking down your body as he utterly ravished you. You whined loudly at the thought, arousal slipping from you. It was clear he noticed when he hissed.

“Fuck, look at you. You’re dripping, so fucking desperate,” he panted, somehow sounding almost as ruined as you. “I’m gonna fuck this cunt senseless, fill you up so good you’ll never ask for anyone else again. Do you want that, little omega? Want me to make you mine?”

Any other time you might have questioned his possessive words, but any rational part of your brain was long gone. No, all that existed was you, Jimin, and your excruciating need to be filled.

“Yes, yes, yes,” you cried, whimpering at the imagery he put in your head. You wanted nothing more than to be his bitch, to take his cock and his seed and his knot. “Fuck me, please.”

“You beg so nicely,” he breathed, and you keened at the praise. You gasped as he sat back and quite literally ripped the shirt from your body, following suit with the rest of your clothes. You didn’t have it in you to complain, not when he was yanking your legs apart, gaze laser-focused onto your centre. “Don't worry, baby, your alpha is gonna take care of you, okay?”

You only nodded furiously, hips bucking upward suddenly as Jimin wasted no more time, two fingers smearing through your heat before thrusting abruptly into you. You finally felt some sort of relief at being filled, but it wasn’t enough. The stretch wasn’t satisfying enough, and your desire for more only amplified. But it seemed he knew this, adding another finger wordlessly.

“God, this cunt is so fucking hungry for me,” he growled, pistoning his fingers in and out roughly before grinding the heel of his hand into your clit.

You cried out as pleasure reared on you embarrassingly quickly, but no part of you wanted to cum without his cock inside you, dragging against your sensitive walls.

“Jimin...” you moaned, arching your back as you sought to push yourself closer to the source of your pleasure. He almost groaned at the sound of his name coming so wantonly from your lips. “Want you, please.”

“Yeah? You want to get stuffed?”

The garbled response you gave was nowhere near coherent, but it didn’t take a genius to see what you wanted. When he gave a low chuckle and pulled himself from his sweatpants, you started salivating immediately. He was girthy, vein visibly spanning the underside beneath his hand as he palmed himself. The head looked almost purple, the tip leaking. You needed it inside you.

Before you even realized it yourself, you were turning over onto your front. By the time you’d planted your face down, ass up, Jimin was already growling, roughly digging his fingers into your asscheeks. As several more seconds went by without his cock in you, you arched your back further, whining as he only dug his fingertips in harder.

“Such a good little wolf,” he crooned, hissing when your arousal dripped from your pussy to the bed. “Getting yourself so nice and ready for me. You need cock that badly? Can’t wait for it?”

You could have cried when you finally felt the tip of his cock at your entrance, but you didn’t have time to do or say anything before he shoved all the way in to the hilt without warning.

You must have screamed then, but you hardly noticed anything apart from the way he set a quick pace, hardly noticed when the tears left your eyes, body swimming in relief and euphoria. Every snap of his hips brought forth a moan from your lips, fingers digging helplessly into the sheets by your head.

“Tell me how it feels,” he snarled, moving to hold your hips up when the overwhelming pleasure left you unable to do it yourself.

It was all you could do to whimper, body feeling as though it was in the clouds as your walls clamped down on Jimin’s cock. He was stretching you so well, the slight burn nothing compared to the waves of pleasure he was sending through your entire being. You took a breath to respond to him once you registered what he said, but when his cock brushed against that spot inside you, it only left you as a choked moan.

“This needy cunt just sucks me right in, huh?” he groaned when your walls clenched down on him again, as though to trap him inside you. But it made no difference to him, his thrusts only continuing, fast and precise as your walls fluttered around him, whines falling from your lips. Recalling how responsive you’d been to praise earlier, he kept talking. “Doing such a good job for me, baby,” he hummed, smirking when he felt the shuddering of your body beneath his hands. “So fucking perfect for me, taking this cock so well.”

His words shot through you like fire, and combined with the drag of him inside you, you were propelled toward your end.

“Alpha...” you whimpered, pushing back onto his cock, a particularly rough thrust pulling a shout from your lips. You were so close to slipping over the edge, the squeezing of your walls around him more and more insistent as you approached your end. “Please.” It was as though no other words existed in your vocabulary, but Jimin could read you perfectly well, as though he was made for you.

“What’s that, hm? Baby’s gonna cum?” he taunted before reaching around to rub at your clit. “Let go then, milk my cock. I want to hear you.”

The added stimulation was more than enough to propel you into your orgasm, your mouth agape as your walls clamped down on his cock. You distantly registered Jimin’s moans from above you as he held you up and fucked you through your it, the sparks of pleasure never-ending.

But while his thrusts became less harsh, they did not lower in their intensity whatsoever. And as the fog in your head receded some from your orgasm, you only felt that much more sensation as you regained your bearings.

Rather than a mindless slave to pleasure and want, with your brain partly yours again you could truly feel. Feel the cotton of the sheets where they were clenched between your fists, feel the slight strain in your knees as they dug into the mattress, feel Jimin’s fingers anchored onto your hips, as though you would float away if he let go.

You could truly feel every drag of his cock against you, every grind, and when he perfectly maneuvered to hit against your g-spot, you were left breathless once again.

But with your increased coherence, your body craved more than just cock – you wanted closeness, wanted Jimin’s body against your own, his groans in your ear, his chest against your back.

“Jimin,” you called out, voice needy but noticeably more present.

His thrusts slowed but didn’t stop. “Hm?”

Rather than attempt to formulate an answer, you blindly reached a hand in his direction and made a grabbing motion. It was accompanied by your best impression of some sort of demanding noise, but you sounded like a spoiled brat even to your own ears.

He clearly didn’t mind though, huffing a laugh at your antics before coming down to your level, pressing some of his weight into your back as he nuzzled your neck.

“This what you want, baby?” he asked, wrapping his arms snugly around your middle. It would almost be cute, if not for the snap of his hips he opted to punctuate his question with.

You could only shiver and take it as he set a slow but intense pace, his cock slowly dragging out of you before he thrusted forward quickly in one single motion. But even in its intensity it was intimate, his lips tracing nonsensical patterns into the skin of your shoulder, his moans increasing in volume as you whined your pleasure.

His pace slowly but surely built you back up toward a second release, Jimin’s thrusts growing faster as he approached his own end. It wasn’t long before your moans were increasing in volume again, hips squirming beneath Jimin’s as that pressure in your abdomen only built and built.

“Gonna cum for me again, little wolf?” he growled directly into your ear, digging his fingers in close to your scalp and pulling your face up out of the sheets. No longer muffled, your moans were loud and unabashed, your pleasure surrendered entirely to him.

“I’m gonna fill this cunt up, gonna stretch you wide, is that what you want?”

As much as you were more coherent than last time, the effect his voice had on you was visceral, eyelids fluttering shut and goosebumps raising on your skin. When you only nodded with what little movement you could make within his grasp, he growled.

“Answer me!”

“Yes, yes!” you pleaded, eager to please. “Want you to fill me up, Jimin, please.”

“Such a good girl,” he moaned in response, moving to suck bruises into your neck. The thought of being marked by him for all to see only lit a new fire within you.

But when you felt the press of his canines brushing against the sensitive part of your neck, it was as though something in you snapped. You almost squealed as the orgasm rained down on you unexpectedly, something resembling ‘Jimin’ spilling from your lips, though you paid it no mind.

You were so lost in your pleasure you hardly noticed Jimin’s gruff yell from above you as he came, only registering it as his knot started to stretch you.

He shushed you gently as you whined, warmth still spilling into you as it finished inflating. Panting breathlessly against your back, he softly cupped your face as you caught your breath.

The stretch was more overwhelming than painful, every tiny movement seeming to shift his knot inside you enough to make you gasp. You should have grown used to the feeling by this point in your life, but it managed to catch you off guard every single time. You never felt ready for the immense stretch or the soreness that lingered between waves of your heat.

After several minutes of silence, breaths finally quieting, he spoke up.

“Are you okay?” he asked, hands reaching to keep you from squirming too much under him, knowing you’d only make the discomfort worse. “Relax for me.”

You nodded in response, letting yourself release the tension from your limbs as he continued to gently nose at your neck. His scent washed over you, but in this brief limbo between waves of your heat it spurred only calmness rather than arousal.

For you, at least, the first wave was always the worst in terms of self-control and mindedness. That was why it was essential for omegas to share their heat only with someone they could trust – if not a partner, then a friend. While omegas were at their most emotionally vulnerable during pre-heat, they were at their most physically vulnerable during the heat itself. In theory, Jimin could have done whatever he wanted, and you would have begged for it.

He hummed in approval when you went still beneath him, rolling the two of you onto your side so that you were no longer supporting his weight.

“Sleepy?” he inquired softly as he watched you stifle a yawn.

You only nodded again, reaching for Jimin’s hand to make him wrap it around you more snugly, pressing yourself as close to him as possible. You shivered as his knot shifted with your movement, though it didn’t ache as much as it did initially. You felt so full, his cock still half-hard within you, release still painting your walls with nowhere to go.

You let your eyes shut, soreness and exhaustion taking up residence temporarily before the next wave. As much as a heat could feel so intense it hurt, you found that the time between each wave was truly the most difficult. It was the time where every ounce of muscle pain and sleep deprivation hit you, but it was also the time where, to put it simply, if you didn’t recharge you were fucked.

Heats were strenuous on the body, and it unfortunately wasn’t abnormal for omegas to be brought to the emergency room from dehydration and malnutrition from their heat. That was why the medical professionals tended to encourage of-age omegas to spend their heats with a trusted partner – it was just safer altogether. It was difficult to push past the fog of exhaustion to take care of yourself when you were on your own, though not impossible.

A tiny whine was the only acknowledgment you gave when you felt his knot go down enough to slip from you. You made a noise of complaint as Jimin pulled from your side, but he quickly returned to you, wiping away the mess that was now between your thighs.

“If I help you, can you sit up?”

After hearing your noise of affirmation, he pulled you up so that your back rested against the headboard, careful not to move you too quickly. But despite that, you couldn’t help the lightheaded feeling that came with the motion, reaching out to steady yourself on Jimin’s arm.

When he took in your rapid blinking and unfocused eyes, his concern grew exponentially. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Tired,” you mumbled, leaning into his touch when he moved to stroke your face.

“Let’s eat something and then we can nap, okay?”

“Mm.”

He moved away from you quickly to grab things from under your bed. One of the first things they taught omegas after presenting was that it was essential to keep a food and drink store in your room during your heat. One of the most important parts of pre-heat was not only securing a heat partner if desired, but also packing enough nutrient-rich food and drinks to last through your heat if you’re unable to leave the room.

You hadn’t realized you’d dozed off until Jimin’s hand on your shoulder startled you awake. He took your hand in his own only to wrap your fingers around an energy bar he’d opened for you.

“Eat,” he commanded, though the soft, caring tone characteristic of Jimin never left his voice.

The thought of putting in effort to do anything was unappealing, but once you started, you realized how famished you were. When you finished your first bar within moments, he handed you a second, eating some for himself at the same time.

He didn’t waste any time with handing you a Gatorade bottle once you were finished eating, ensuring you could hold it yourself before getting his own.

As much as he seemed to be in a rush, this was a better safe than sorry type of situation. While sometimes you could squeeze in some sleep between waves of your heat, it sometimes felt like one huge gamble in terms of time. You’ve had downtimes of as little as 10 minutes in the past, so you were grateful that he was hurrying you along.

When he noticed you stopped drinking, he grabbed it from you to place it on the nightstand a safe distance away from the bed.

“Do you want anything else?” he asked, shoving all of the garbage into a bag to deal with another time.

“You.”

He turned around quickly, thinking you were going into your next wave, but froze at the sight of you simply blinking up at him sleepily.

He bit down on his lip to suppress a fond smile when you reached for his hand, severely hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt.

He let you tug him forward, settling beside you in bed before pulling you securely into his side.

As much as you might have loved to talk or quietly cuddle, you were out like a light as soon as you laid your head down on his shoulder, face tucked securely into his neck.

--

The next two days went by in a blur. You never tended to remember very many specific moments from your heats besides that you felt good, and were definitely sore after. The combination of physical and mental exhaustion along with the mind-numbing desire didn’t seem to be conducive to proper brain function.

Fuck. Eat. Fuck. Eat. Nap. Rinse. Repeat.

“Kiss me,” you demanded, pulling Jimin down toward you by his shoulders.

From what you could tell, it was the last day of your heat, also making for the most coherent day. The consequences of not sating your heat on the last day were more uncomfortable than painful, and the sex almost resembled what it would any other day.

He obliged you easily, mouth meeting yours as he snapped his hips, filling you up and stretching you all in one stroke. He nipped at your lower lip as you moaned freely, arching your back to feel as much of his skin as possible.

You couldn’t help the increase in volume when he settled with his length in you, grinding his pubic bone into your clit. It seemed that Jimin was feeling similarly, both of you simply panting by each other's mouths rather than doing any sort of kissing like you’d intended.

It was only minutes before you felt the familiar tightening in your abdomen, Jimin groaning above you when he felt you clench around him. You whimpered as he sucked new bruises into the skin of your neck, a shiver making its way down your spine as he reached the soft skin below your ear.

But every part of you was screaming out for more.

“Mark me.”

Jimin froze instantly at your words, but it seemed that you weren’t properly considering the weight of your words, only urging him to continue his motions in search of your high.

A mark wasn’t permanent, but it was no small thing. More than a mark of “possession,” it was a mark of an alpha's care and loyalty, a mark of an omega’s trust. It was only something ever shared in serious relationships, and it would sometimes take partners years to reach that point.

“Jimin,” you whined when he ignored what you said. Every instinctive part of you wanted it so badly, your head subconsciously tipping back to give him easier access.

“No.”

“Jimin...”

“Don’t you know what you’re saying?”

“Please-”

“I said no,” he snarled, speeding up the snap of his hips enough that you were shifting up the bed. “Tomorrow, when this is all over,” he panted above you, teeth bared, “Then we’ll talk.”

He didn’t let you get a word in edgewise, continuously pulling himself from you fully before abruptly sheathing himself to the hilt once again.

You were left gasping for breath, swimming in sensation as your abdomen tightened, all else forgotten for the time being.

When he shifted to one side, a hand dropping to rub circles into your clit, you saw white. Your nails sharply dug into the skin of Jimin’s back where they were held, waves of pleasure battering you nonstop as he continued his thrusts.

But it was only moments later that he seated himself into you fully, warmth spilling into you as his knot inflated for the nth time since your heat began. It didn’t leave you gasping the same way as the first time, but a groan still wrenched itself from your throat at the sensation.

As soon as his body collapsed onto yours, you knew that your heat was finally over. The feeling was inexplicable, almost as though a weight had been lifted from the back of your mind.

You might have addressed the words uttered from your mouth only moments before if not for the debilitating fatigue that filled every limb and every square inch of your brain.

So, against your best judgment on any other day, you knocked right out.

--

When you next awoke, it wasn’t because desire ripped you from slumber, nor was it because your scent set off Jimin enough to wake you.

In fact, you were alone in your bed, immediately cringing at the sight of all the questionable stains dotting the sheets.

Good thing you had a mattress pad.

You sat up, wincing as every muscle screamed in protest. From your neck all the way to your fingertips, everything hurt. You’d probably be feeling this for days. It definitely didn’t help that the stench of sex was so strong you could feel a headache coming on.

You didn’t have time to ponder on Jimin’s whereabouts before he was coming back in through the doorway, half-dressed with water in hand.

He sent you a smile when you met eyes, but it was lost on you because as soon as he was here, every interaction over the past few days flooded your mind at once. And this time, there were no hormones to mask proper thought.

You asked – no, begged – him to stay. Even when he told you no.

You’d practically thrown a tantrum, what was wrong with you? Since when did your pre-heat make you throw respect out the window?

He wasn’t here because he wanted to stay, he was here because you forced him to. He was here because you were pathetic enough to get on the floor and beg him to stay, and Jimin, for the life of him, didn’t know how to say no to people. How could he look at you right now?

“Y/N?” he called, sounding puzzled. He must be able to smell your rising distress coming off you in waves, but you paid him no mind as you continued to recall the past few days, hating yourself more and more with every passing second.

You’d basically forced him to stay with you and fuck you for nearly four days without ever talking about it before.

It was more difficult to put together the pieces of what happened in your heat, memories mostly a blur of pleasure and then sleep.

But-

Fuck.

“Mark me.”

Your blood ran cold instantly.

Were you fucking insane? You dug your fingernails into your palms harshly to check if you were dreaming. Unluckily for you, you weren’t.

Was there any coming back from this? You couldn’t blame him if he could never look at you the same, if he never spoke to you again. Who would tell their heat partner – the first time they spent a heat together – to mark them?

It didn’t matter that you’d known each other since before you were even forming proper memories. It didn’t matter, because that wasn’t how this worked. You didn’t just ask your friends to mark you, no matter how much you loved each other.

A mark was something you shared with someone you intended to be lifelong partners with. Someone you’d dedicate your life to, someone you might want to have kids with someday.

God, what was wrong with you?

You didn’t notice his approach until a hand met your shoulder, too engrossed in staring at the floor as thoughts whirred in your head.

“What is it?” he asked, concern quickly turning into panic at finding you in this state with no explanation.

But it was as though with one touch, the floodgates broke, and angry tears started spilling from your eyes. Tears that had nothing to do with Jimin and everything to do with yourself.

He jumped back slightly in surprise, and you didn’t give him the chance to touch you again before you were furiously wiping the wetness from your face.

“God, are you okay? Did I hurt you?” he questioned frantically, hands returning to your shoulders as he angled his face to try to meet yours, but you only kept turning your head to avoid him. He looked like he didn’t know what to do with himself, whether to join you on the bed or continue hovering awkwardly from the bedside. “Talk to me, please-”

“Do you hate me?” you choked out, eyes fixed on a random, insignificant spot on the sheets.

That seemed to quiet him instantly. “Huh?”

“I forced you here,” you whispered, though it seemed that the words didn’t want to stop once they started, volume only rising as you carried on. “You came here to be nice and then you tried to leave and I didn’t let you. You said no so many times and I begged you to stay until you couldn’t say no anymore! I don’t even know what I was thinking, I guess I wasn’t thinking at all-”

“Hey-”

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know how you must think of me right now but I wouldn’t blame you if you thought I was disgusting, I think I’m disgusting, god-”

“Hey, look at me,” he urged, prodding lightly at your chin until you raised your head enough to meet his gaze. When he saw your red eyes and miserable expression, it was as though a piece of himself broke. “I stayed because I wanted to.”

“You didn't, I remember you told me no, you ‘wanted to’ because I made you.”

“It’s not like that,” he replied, expression almost pained.

“Don’t lie to me to make me feel better,” you snarled, though it came off more broken than aggressive. “Stop trying to protect me, tell me when you’re mad at me!”

“I’m not mad at you.”

“Jimin-”

“You trust me, don’t you?”

The sudden question was enough to give you pause. “You know I do.”

He took a moment to settle onto the bed beside you, stretching out an arm to invite you in to lay with him. After only a moment of hesitation, you did.

“Then trust me when I say I wanted to stay,” he said firmly, stroking calming circles into your side. “You know I don’t like lying to you.”

It was true, he didn’t. Which summoned the question – if he wanted to stay, why did he refuse so many times? Were you sure he wasn’t lying now?

No – that wasn’t Jimin. Plus, you knew him so well that you doubted he would lie to you about something this serious, not when he was such an open book. But you didn’t have long to think about it before he piped up again.

“You asked me something yesterday,” he started, and you could hear in his tone that he was treading carefully.

You tensed up immediately when you processed his words, breath quickening as you anticipated what he was about to say. Was this the part where he told you he’s not mad he stayed, but he never wanted to speak to you again? You’d relaxed enough in the past few minutes that you’d almost forgotten about what you’d said yesterday. Almost.

“Why?” he asked simply.

Why. An obscenely loaded question contained within one 3-letter word. And yet, an answer wasn’t so easy.

“I don’t know,” you stalled.

“Don’t do that,” he scolded. “Really think. I know you, and I know you’d never be that nonchalant about a mark, ever. What changed?”

“Nothing changed!”

He only turned to give you a disapproving look before leaning his head back against the headboard and shutting his eyes. It was clear that he wasn’t going to make any more conversation until you properly pondered his question and gave him a real answer.

Why?

Did you even know why?

You wished you could say it just slipped out, that there was no other reason.

Maybe any other time you’ve said something questionable or downright stupid that would fly, but not for something like this.

Even at their drunkest, people didn’t ask their friends to marry them with the full intent of following through and starting life as an actual married couple.

Just the same, an omega doesn’t just ask a friend to mark them, mate them, not even in heat. Omega heats made it a fairly common occurrence to fuck your friends (at least, a select few) while unmarked, and it wasn’t as though the desire to be marked stemmed from a heat. If it were, platonic marking would be a thing already. And sure, marking made sex feel better, but heats were sexual, and marks were... more.

That was the problem, wasn’t it? There was no easy excuse, no escaping this.

One might say an omega was a slave to instinct in their heat, but instinct didn’t come from nowhere.

The instinct to nest came from the pursuit of safety in a vulnerable time. The instinct to ‘hibernate’ came from the need to save up energy for a heat. The instinct to scent came from the desire for intimacy and comfort. The instinct to fuck came from hormonal cycles and the body’s inherent goal to breed.

The instinct to be marked as an omega? To ask for it?

The need for emotional security, to know that your feelings were returned – attraction, desire, love.

Love?

If your love for Jimin was supposed to be a secret, it wasn’t a very well-kept one. You talked every day since you were kids, knew each other's mannerisms so well you didn’t need words to communicate, gravitated toward each other in every group setting, cried together when you separated for university...

You loved him, without a doubt. It was obvious. But was it more than that? Was your body trying to tell you something that you didn’t even consider?

“I...” you started but immediately trailed off, limbs so tense you almost seemed ready to run away. This wasn’t a conversation you ever imagined could take place.

“Don’t be scared. You can tell me anything.” Were you imagining things, or did his tone sound almost... hopeful?

“I’ve never asked someone to mark me before this.”

He only hummed lowly in response. You knew that he knew this already, but it seemed that this time, he wouldn’t call you out for circling around the question.

“I’ve never met someone who I felt more for than you. Safe, comfortable, happy, loved.” You paused, taking a deep breath. “I love you a lot, you know?”

His breath hitched despite himself, even though he knew you didn’t mean what he wanted you to mean. “I know,” he replied, sounding almost disappointed.

“But...”

“But?” he responded, allowing that tiny thread of hope to wind around his heart one more time.

“But I don’t know what I’m feeling,” you finished, panic increasing exponentially by the end of your sentence, your body almost feeling as though it was trembling.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he rushed, bringing you closer to rub his cheek into your hair. Was it cruel of him to feel some sort of joy at your words when you were clearly scared and confused?

His scent washing over you helped calm you some, but even still, you couldn’t stop thinking. What were you feeling? Did you want something more than friendship, or was this entire situation just putting thoughts in your head? Sure, you were undeniably compatible sexually, and sure, you found him attractive, but did you want a relationship? A romantic one? But even then, how much would that really change? What did you want? Would Jimin be disgusted with you? Let you down easily? It would have to be the latter, right?

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked-”

“No,” you cut him off.

“Huh?”

“You should’ve. I can’t be stupid forever.”

“You’re not stupid.”

“I am stupid, what kind of person doesn’t know whether they...” Even despite knowing he could tell exactly what you were trying to say, the words wouldn’t come from your lips. Were you in denial? Embarrassed? Something else?

“Emotions don’t have to be straightforward.”

“I wish they were.”

He breathed a laugh at that. “Believe me, I know.”

“Jimin, be honest with me.”

“I’m always honest with you.”

“Let’s say, hypothetically, you have this friend. You’re very good friends – best friends even. You see each other as much as possible, all that. And she tells you one day she wants to talk.”

“Oh? What’s her name?”

“Uhhhhh...” you paused, pulling out the first name that came to mind. “Susan.”

He choked back a laugh, though you could still feel his chest bouncing beneath your head. “My friend Susan. Okay, go on.”

“And she tells you that something happened, and it spurred this huge train of thought that had never occurred to her before. Something that made her think about your entire relationship as friends, and made her think about herself.”

“Uh huh...”

“And she had to wonder, how much of her heart was invested in this relationship? That answer was easy – all of it. But what really had her confused was what parts of her heart were in it.”

You fidgeted nervously, but instead of saying something, Jimin only reached for one of your hands, intertwining your fingers together.

“But what really scared her the most was – how would you react? What happens when your best friend tells you that maybe your love for them extends beyond friendship?”

You took several deep breaths, trying to muster up the courage to finish the ‘story’ you’ve started. There was no backing out of this now. Your hand squeezed his hard enough that it must have hurt him, though he didn’t seem to mind.

“If she told you she thought she loved you as more than a friend, how would you respond?” you asked, trying to inject as much nonchalance into your voice as possible and failing miserably. You could feel your palms getting sweatier, and you thought your teeth might chew straight through your bottom lip. You held your breath once you heard Jimin take one of his own, preparing mentally for whatever was about to leave his lips.

“I would tell her I love her back.”

It was as though time stopped. “You... you what?”

Unwilling to let you hide your face anymore, he pulled you over so that you were straddling him, your heart filling when your eyes met his, full of honesty and understanding and... love.

“I would tell her I love her back. That if she wanted me, I was hers.”

Your eyes searched his face desperately for several seconds longer, waiting for the moment this bliss would break, the moment he took his words back, left you heartbroken before you’d even properly processed that it was his to break. But that moment never came.

“Really?” you whispered, eyes wide and screaming with vulnerability, but also wonder. The petty part of him wished he could fault you for being so oblivious, but it wasn’t your fault that you two had simply never outgrown the innocent intimacy from childhood, even after presenting.

“Really.”

“I do want it. You. I want to try. If you can be patient with me.”

“Okay. Give me a chance and I’ll make you fall in love with me for sure.”

“Oh.” As hard as you tried to purse your lips, the smile still broke its way through, eyes crinkling happily as every insecurity felt like it left at once. Was it this easy? Could happiness come so quickly in a moment, just like that?

“Oh,” he replied simply, beam splitting his face at your barely-contained joy, your expression so innocent even after all that happened the past few days.

“Oh,” you repeated, though this time the word undoubtedly seemed to harbour more weight, brows furrowing.

“Hm?”

“That’s why you said no, isn’t it? The reason you wanted to stay but tried to leave?”

The sad smile that spread across his face at that was all the answer you needed, the briefly-forgotten guilt coming back instantly.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” he assured, pulling you close enough that your bodies were plastered together. “It all worked out anyway, right?”

You nodded, relaxing in his arms. If your brain wasn’t going a mile a minute right now, you were so comfortable you could’ve slept like this.

You allowed yourself several minutes to simply lay in his arms, that familiar blueberry-pine scent making you heart feel lighter and lighter.

“So,” you mumbled.

“So.”

“What changes now?”

“What do you want to change?” he replied.

“I asked first.”

He chuckled lightly. “Fine. Well...” You leaned back in confusion when he started pushing you up and off of him. “I think being able to do this is a good change.”

He leaned his face into yours, giving you a moment to back away before gently pressing his plush lips to yours.

You’d kissed already in your heat – you remembered that much. But this wasn’t a kiss that demanded your surrender, nor was it fast, or rough. It was just soft, intimate – because sometimes, emotions were easier said through actions rather than words.

You slid your hands into his hair, dragging your nails against his scalp as you deepened the kiss. His hands traced nonsensical patterns into the skin of your back, holding you close as though you’d ever want to leave. It was so easy to get lost in him, in the way he held you, touched you, kissed you, as though you were something to be cherished.

It wasn’t long before the kiss started to get more heated, though, and you couldn’t help yourself from nipping at his bottom lip. He made a low noise in response, a hand moving to grip your ass as the other winded its way into your hair.

It was when his hand made contact with your bare ass that you remembered that you were naked throughout this entire ordeal. And just as you processed that, his hand started inching its way slowly but surely between your legs.

“I think the fuck not, Park Jimin,” you gasped, breaking the kiss and throwing his hand from your body.

He burst into bright laughter at your words, eyes forming crescents that would make any person’s day better. His happiness was contagious, and you couldn’t hold back the giggles at the sound of him.

“How sore are you?” he questioned, tiny giggles still escaping him. You thought you detected a hint of concern somewhere in there, but you couldn’t blame him for being in an obscenely good mood.

“Ugh. Are you not sore at all?”

“Not really? Mostly hungry, I guess.”

“I hate you. It feels like all of my limbs want to detach from their sockets, and don’t even get me started on what it feels like between my legs. You and your dick can go die.”

Your words only set off another round of laughter from him, his grin wide as he took in your fake pout.

“Are you sure you want that? You seemed to enjoy it from where I was standing. You’re sending me mixed signals here,” he teased.

You let out a childish noise of complaint. God, was this what you were getting yourself into? You were already used to his antics by now, but now you had to deal with them while he flirted too? Someone send help.

“Pity me a bit,” you whined, giving him the best wide-eyed pout you could muster. Though, it only seemed to raise his mood even more.

“I’m sorry I broke you,” he said.

You smacked him a bit harder than you would normally. “Jiminnnnnnnnn,” you said, stringing out the word for as long as a breath would allow.

“If I made you food, would you forgive me?”

“...I’m listening.”

“What if I said I already made you food?”

“What?!” you perked up, any grudge you might have held disappearing in an instant. “What did you make?”

“Lay down and find out in 5 minutes, I’m tired,” he responded, laying down comfortably and encouraging you to do the same. You didn’t require much convincing, cuddling back into his side. This position wasn’t anything abnormal for you two, but it felt different now. Newer, more intimate.

Needless to say, 5 minutes turned into 2 hours after you’d both fell asleep.

But when Jimin placed a bowl of re-heated stir-fry in front of you 2 hours later, you would say he secured his place as fully, unequivocally yours.

#btsgoldnet #btsguild #ficswithluv #cypherwritersnet #heartsforbts #magicshopnet #mikrogalaxynet #jimin x reader #bts x reader #jimin smut #bts smut #jimin angst #bts angst #jimin fluff #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts fic

[get-shiggy-with-it]

Ch. 1

Shigaraki Birthday Week! MINORS DNI DO NOT PUT THIS ON TIKTOK

Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x fem!reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: reader is marked fem cause Tomura is a little sexist and hates you cause you’re a woman, no pronouns, incel!shiggy, collage au/no quirks, tomura is an asshole, gratuitous swearing, like so much, shiggy has a dirty mouth, mentions of shigs being anxious, let me know if I’ve missed something

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6

Summary: Tomura gets stuck taking an English class to graduate and is partnered with you, a bitchy try hard (his words not mine) for his final project. But over the course of the semester he finds that while he hates everyone, he might hate you just a little...less. 

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The door at the back of the room creaked open and jarred Tomura from his half-sleep state. He didn’t look at who’d bothered to slip into this fucking class late, and instead tried to let the prof’s inane droning on Timothy Whoever The Fuck’s 18th weirdo letter book lull him into day dreaming. 

He only made it about a quarter of the way back into his boredom induced coma until he was dragged unwillingly into wakefulness once more. 

“Sorry, could you plug this in for me?” 

Tomura jumped again when you leaned over to whisper to him, computer charger in one hand, gesturing to the outlet on the wall by his head. You’d left the typical courtesy seat empty between the two of you and he stared blankly at the way you leaned your weight on the vacant chair. 

He recognized you.

The classic, dumbass teacher's pet who was always front and center of the room, iced drink at the ready looking like you belonged on the set of some god awful college b movie. 

Well, almost always. You certainly had that loud ass drink, but you’d tucked yourself at the end of his row towards the back of the room and was clearly a bit embarrassed for bursting in almost 15 minutes late. 

Tomura swallowed hard as your shirt gaped in the front. It took an immense amount of control to not gaze outright into the swell of your chest. 

“You good?” you asked softly, head cocked like you were straight out of a fucking manga panel—tits on display with that stupid innocent, puzzled expression.  

“Uh yeah, sorry,” Tomura mumbled. 

You offered him this gross, clearly fake smile—because why the hell would you be grinning like that if it wasn’t just because you wanted something from him—as he threaded the cord behind his chair and plugged it in. 

“Thanks,” you replied and turned back towards the professor, typing away cause you actually take notes in this class. 

Of fucking course you did. 

Probably trying to impress everyone with how you typed practically every word the prof said. Tomura decidedly did not take notes, and didn’t really pay that much attention in general. Usually he just played some trashy phone game under the desk or dozed with his head against the cement wall. 

It had gotten to that portion of the semester when it was warmer outside but the buildings still had the heat cranked all the way up, especially here in the basement where the classroom was. That environment along with his usual hoodie/joggers combo created grade A napping conditions that Tomura took full advantage of. 

As a rule, he actually cared about school and he did relatively well. But this was just some dumbass liberal arts requirement course that had nothing to do with his actual major, so he was perfectly fine with coasting. Why his comp sci degree required him to take a fucking Restoration era English class, he had no clue. Apparently neither did his advisor other than that the ‘administration recommended it’ so their students would have a ‘well rounded learning experience.’ 

It was almost certainly just a cash grab to make him take more credits than was necessary to graduate, but whatever. He was here now. And so were you. Your presence was overwhelmingly clear, typing away and smelling like one of those insanely specific laundry detergent label scents—fucking rolling meadows and grandmother’s clean linen or something like that. 

He’d never sat this close to you before, but that didn’t stop you from annoying the shit out of him for the previous whole half semester and going since it was just now passing midterms. Long enough for him to have pegged you as a textbook try-hard, pick-me bitch. You contributed to discussion at every opportunity, turned in shit early, and debated other classmates regularly enough to disrupt his in-course sleep schedule. 

The way you dressed pissed him off too, with a particular style that was enough to stand out but not so over the top that it would cause disinterest from any potential mates.

And now you were filling his corner of the room with the overpowering smell of freshly washed hair and demanding he do things for you. 

Fucking disgusting. 

“Tomura Shigaraki.”

He jumped a third time, attention directed from his lap to the front of the room where the prof stood, listing out names from the board. He heard your name next followed by Kai Chisaki. The list was projected on the board as well, grouping everyone into twos or threes with “Final Project Partners” listed in bold Helvetica font at the top. 

Only fucking English profs used Helvetica. 

He vaguely remembered mentions of a final presentation—one of like three grades in this class cause the prof was almost certainly a sadist. 

No, not almost—definitely. Otherwise he wouldn’t have stuck him with you and that weirdo Kai pre-med student who insisted on acting so elitist you’d think he already had his fucking M.D. 

One time he asked Tomura to move seats at the start of the semester because he looked “dirty” and Kai liked to sit in the back—which, fair enough, it wasn’t like Tomura showered as frequently as he probably should but what the fuck??  

With you rushing in late, chest out and panting every now and again from your apparent sprint across campus, Tomura was certain he’d be subjected to a whole 6 weeks of watching you try to mount that fucking Kai dude instead of actually working. 

This was going to be a nightmare. 

From the end of the table, he saw you shifting and turned to find that stupid fucking smile flashed his way once again. 

If you had a tail, he’d bet it would be wagging. 

“Hey, well that’s convenient,” you chuckled and plopped down directly next to him, sliding your noisy ass drink across the table with you and brushing against his thigh when you shifted your bag to the side. 

“Yeah,” he nodded.

It most certainly was not. 

But Tomura would never say that because—as his roommate put it so kindly—he was kinda a pussy. 

People made him nervous, they always had. That’s why he liked computers so much. Code made sense, there were clear rules and when something didn’t work out, he could fix it eventually, but you couldn’t see people’s codes. You had to fucking guess at shit and it made his anxiety skyrocket which the sides of his neck and finger tips suffered for. 

So he cowered like the fucking dog you probably thought he was instead and kept his eyes on the floor, letting you set up in silence. 

“Who was our third?” you asked, glancing around the room. “Sorry, I was busy making a shared drive and I came in  late so I missed that last bit.”

Why the hell did you feel the need to apologize all the goddamn time? Seriously, who would believe you were actually sorry for being irritating as hell. 

And god if he thought you were irritating. 

“Kai,” he grumbled simply as the man in question sauntered over to the table and fucking Clorox wiped down the seat before sitting.  

Tomura watched your smile falter just a bit and grinned inwardly at the slip in your fake little persona. But you didn’t say anything more, just moved your chair back so the three of you were in a semi-circle and pulled up a few pdfs on your laptop. 

“Cool, so I was looking over the directions on the syllabus last week and I set up a little work delegation thing so we can distribute everything pretty evenly,” you jumped right in, tone matter of fact in the down-to-business manner he was used to hearing from you during class discussions. 

It was better than you so clearly forcing yourself to be overly polite, and he honestly couldn’t really care less if you wanted to take charge of this thing. You seemed kinda bossy, but he begrudgingly admitted that your suck up behavior did mean you sort of knew what you were talking about. He was just here to pass and you might actually make that a lot easier. 

It was okay as long as he was taking advantage of you, he told himself. And you would be too stupid to notice, so he could play your game and play pretend nice all the way to an A. 

That walking condescension on the other hand— 

“I’m not doing that,” Kai huffed through his ever-present mask. 

Tomura wasn’t actually sure he’d ever seen the bastards face without it. 

“What?” you laughed awkwardly. “Yes you are, you don’t really have much of a choice.” 

You stared at your classmate who simply stared right back with his own, equally confused expression. 

“Why do you look so surprised?” you asked after a moment of silence. 

You weren’t smiling anymore and your voice had dropped down about a fucking octave. At least you sounded more like a person and not some wannabe uwu gamer bitch.

“People don’t talk to me like that,” Kai looked at you down his nose, legs spread wide and elbow resting on his knees. 

Tomura could feel the pretentiousness wafting from him in waves, and waited with bated breath for you to get kicked off your pedestal. Just a bit though, he did need you around to do most of his work for this thing. 

But in a shocking turn of events, you just laughed dryly twice and turned back to your laptop screen, mumbling as you did. 

“Really? Well they should.” 

Tomura would have laughed too, but he didn’t feel like inflating your ego. Kai on the other hand looked a bit like you’d just spit on shoes and furrowed those stupid, plucked thin eyebrows at the back of your head. 

“So Tomura, you code right?” you asked, turning away from Kai completely to address him. “I just remember you saying you were in comp sci when we did introductions.” 

He was taken aback by the knowledge that he existed as a person in your head outside of this room for a moment and simply nodded—suddenly feeling far too hot in his black on black sweats and hoodie. 

God just talking to you made his skin burn. 

“Great, cause we’re allowed to chose the medium we present in and I was thinking of taking it in a more creative direction cause I’ve had this prof before and he eats that shit up,” you begin to ramble again, scrolling through a bulleted list, shifting the screen for him to see. 

“Right,” he murmured, still surprised you’d thought this far and not...actively hating what you’d brainstormed. 

Well, it was a bit juvenile and you clearly didn’t know what you were talking about but the concept wasn’t horrendous. He could work with that and it shouldn’t be too hard. It kinda seemed like you’d overestimated a bit with how challenging it would actually be and saddled yourself with most of the heavy lifting. That or you were just a control freak which was a little more believable.

He wished you would stop looking at him over the edge of the screen. He could feel himself starting to sweat. Rivulets falling down the nape of his neck and racing across his bare chest under the sweatshirt. Tomura sorta regretted not wearing a shirt underneath but he knew that he wouldn’t have taken off the insulating layer even if that had been an option. 

It would just mean you had more drying, pale as fuck skin to look at and judge him for because he knew that’s what you were doing. Fucking vapid and shallow like everyone else. 

���It’s really rough so far, but I have it the gist outlined,” you indicated to another tab and then turned back to Kai who had been sitting silently glaring daggers into your back. “So, Kai, since you’re in STEM I figured you’d be okay with doing more of the preliminary research—”

“I don’t think so,” Kai interrupted, shaking his head and pushing off his knees to lean back in the cheap, plastic seat. “Look, it’ll be easier for all of us if you two just make it look pretty and I can handle the oral presentation.” 

You gaped and looked to Tomura with this pathetic fucking incredulous stare, like you thought he’d back you up. 

Which actually, now that he thought about it was probably a good idea—he did need you to remain somewhat cordial with him—but he certainly didn’t care enough to defend you in any way. Kai was a dick, sure, but he wasn’t gonna let you rope him into being your white knight or whatever. 

He settled for a similarly disgruntled downward twitch of his lips. The movement pulled at the cracking skin which stung as it tore open even more. Tomura felt the familiar crawling feeling on his neck and shifted in his seat to resist the urge to scratch. 

He couldn’t pinpoint why exactly you staring at him was so uncomfortable. He didn’t like you, he didn’t care about you and by extension didn’t give two shits what you thought of him, but anything he might have said shriveled on his tongue when you spoke or looked in his eyes too long. 

Tomura had never made a habit of talking to females and they certainly had never wanted anything to do with him either. 

Maybe he was fucking allergic or something. 

Whatever the case, you seemed to take his half frown as a sign of solidarity and leaned back in your own seat. 

“Okay, look,” you retorted. “If you’re seriously not gonna at least try to cooperate, then there is actually an option to do the project by yourself and I suggest you take it.” 

The look on your face was distinctly impolite. There was a sharpness to the set of your jaw that Tomura had never seen before, but it looked practiced enough that he could bet it was simply the snake that resided in every woman just waiting to come out. 

“Look sweetheart—” that masked jerk began, also for some fucking reason looking to Tomura for support. 

For someone who was very much used to blending into the background scenery, this was the most eye contact Tomura had ever made in a day. 

Except on the rare occasions his roommate had friends over and he had to make the dreaded trek from his room to reach the fridge. 

“Oh yeah I’m not doing that,” you closed your laptop sharply and rolled your eyes. “I get it, but I’m really just trying to graduate. I don’t think this is going to work out and you,” Tomura froze as you shifted your gaze to him once again, “seem okay, so Tomura and I can just work this out by ourselves and you can find a different group.” 

Kai scoffed behind the black layer of fabric covering his mouth and slung his backpack over his shoulder. “Whatever.” 

Tomura watched him saunter straight out the door as the room was filled with the shuffling of notebooks and zipping of backpacks. 

“God,” you huffed and turned back to him. 

His raw skin burned under the new wave of heat and accompanying moisture that slicked his skin when you scooted closer to him. That clean laundry and shampoo smell was suffocating from this proximity. 

Did you fucking bathe in the stuff? 

He was becoming increasingly aware of his less than pleasant aroma and the fact that you not scrunching your nose up in disgust just out of some stupid, ingrained need to appease him. 

“Well, that was...weird,” you chuckled in a way that was probably meant to break the tension. 

Unfortunately Tomura felt more like he was about to break out in hives if you came any closer so it really just ended up making the atmosphere ten times more awkward. At least for him. You, somehow, remained resolutely unaware. 

“Mhm,” he hummed in response and picked silently at the skin of his fingers. 

“Anyway, I have a meeting in a few but we can trade numbers and pick a time to meet up sometime tomorrow maybe?” you suggested, quickly saving the steadily degrading vibes of the conversation and pulled out your phone. 

He really hated the full body pulsation that rushed through him at the thought of getting a girls number. It made him fucking sick at himself for falling into your stupid trap to get him interested. Was your plan to just use him to get a good grade or whatever and then block his texts?

It wasn’t like Tomura didn’t know about his status as the class ‘freak.’ That one guy everyone whispers about and makes sure not to sit next to. And he knows you know, so why the hell else would you act so nice?

He wanted to say something scathing in return. That he could do the whole thing by himself too—which he definitely couldn’t but that was irrelevant—and that he didn’t need you bossing him around either. 

“Sure thing,” he said instead and took your offered phone all too eagerly, typing in his number and watching as you shot off a text back so he’d have yours. 

His phone buzzed against his thigh and he jumped a fourth time, but you seemed not to notice as you packed your bag and grabbed your basic ass drink. The ice clattered against the tumbler, dropping cool condensation against the searing skin of his hand. 

Tomura shivered as you waved over your shoulder and slipped out the door with another rush of students. 

He sat silently in the empty room for a moment, trying to process the last hour. He pinched himself idly, wondering if it had all been just a weird dream, but the results were inconclusive. A minute or two passed before he pulled out his phone to scroll through the list of reddit and discord notifs to find your text. 

Unknown Number:

— pEopLe DoN’t TaLK tO mE liKE ThAt 

— not very plus ultra of him...smh

— anyway, library at 6 tomorrow ?

 Tomura caved, digging his nails into the side of his neck and hissed at the pain, confirming the day's horrible reality. 

#tomura shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki x reader #tomura x reader #bnha fanfiction #tomura shigaraki imagines #fem!reader #incel!shigaraki #college au #bee.writes

[ka-za-ri]

Personal Assistant pt. 1

Hi. I’m in complete and utter Obey Me! Hell Enjoy some Lucifer x MC smut shamelessly put into a modern day CEO!Lucifer AU. Many parts to come. I’m completely covered in filth and thirst. Unbeta’d because we die like heroes here. Let me go back to being a gremlin now.

Paring: Lucifer x MC Wordcount: 5,000 ish Genre: Shameless, filthy smut Tags: Multiple Orgasms, sex on a desk, Finger fucking, overstimulation

Part 2: here Part 3: here Part 4: here Part 5: Here Part 6: Here Part 7: Here Also found on Ao3: Here

Lucifer has been sent to the human realm to study them and acclimate to and learn about their behaviors. By some miracle, you landed a job interview with his illustrious company as his personal assistant. A lot of extra work not listed on the job posting is required of you, to say the least.

Part 1: Interview

Adapting to the human world wasn’t hard. Humans were after all, predictable little things, easily swayed by their desires, it didn't take much effort at all to make them bend to his will. Lucifer’s time thus far ‘learning’ about the human realm had netted him a sizable company under his control. It wasn’t long before he became bored of that. Being a CEO of Akuzon meant many things. One being that he was always busy and needed some help around his office. Previous attempts at having a personal assistant failed him as they never satisfied his needs and kept up with the workload.

Somehow, you found yourself looking at the ad in the paper and hastily applying to the job It seemed too good to be true. It paid well, was for a reputable company, was close to home, and you fit the criteria listed. It was a shot in the dark, you knew there must be hundreds of others clamoring for the position as well. However, much to your surprise only a couple of weeks passed when you received an email requesting your presence for an interview.

The office building was massive, fitting right in with the many sky scrapers of the city. After putting on the best interview clothes you had and making your makeup was on point, you had thought you were ready for anything. Seeing the building and stepping inside it’s grand spaces had you faltering for a moment, a shiver of nervousness running down your spine. Almost everyone in the vicinity stopped what they were doing to see who it was at their front door. The nervousness increased as their gazes bored down into you, making you think you had gotten the wrong building.

“Are you here for an interview?” A young lady at the front desk asked cheerfully, noticing how lost you seemed.

“Ah! Yes! I am! For the position of Lucifer’s secretary.” You explained, relieved that there were some helpful people there.

The lady raised an eyebrow, surprised that someone so green would be chosen for such a high ranking position, but didn’t press the issue any further. Dialing a few numbers into the phone at her desk, she made a quick call. “Yes, she’s here… I’ll bring her right up.” She looked up at you, a sweet smile on her face and got up to guide you to the elevators on the other side of the floor. “He’ll be ready to see you once you get to his floor.”

“His floor?”

“Yes. His office is one of the top floors of the building. As his secretary, you’ll be responsible for taking care of it as well as any other duties he asks of you.” She explained. “You’re so lucky… I applied for that position ages ago, but couldn’t pass the interview phase. I hope you fare better than me.”

“I hope so too…” You agreed, hoping to hide the shaking in your voice.

The trip to the top floor seemed to stretch forever. The light music in the background did little to soothe your anxiety as you watched the numbers climb higher and higher until they stopped at 60 and the doors slid smoothly open after a soft chime.

“Well, this is where I leave you. He’s right beyond those doors.” The lady gave you a small reassuring push forward and before you could have any second thoughts, the doors closed and you were left alone, facing tall frosted glass doors. Taking one last stuttering breath, you took the steps forward to push open the doors. They were much heavier than expected and after a bit of a struggle, you finally managed to open it.

Before you sat the most impeccable man you had ever seen. The very image of power in a young and handsome man. The name plate placed at the very edge confirmed to you that he was indeed to be the man who was going to be conducting the interview. It was difficult to get your mind past how handsome he was. His perfectly parted hair framed his face and its long, delicate features. He wore a black fitted suit, one that probably cost more than any number you could imagine. Each stitch in its place to accentuate the lines of his body and to cut an imposing figure, even when seated. Everything about him oozed control and power. You had every right to be nervous.

He sat behind a massive desk; the only documents in front of him were what you expected to be your files. Most everything else, save for his nameplate, had been cleared off. If he had done this to intimidate you, he was doing an exceptionally good job without even saying a damn thing. “Come in. Have a seat. I’ve been expecting you.” He beckoned and gestured at the seat in front of him, his eyes raking up and down your figure, assessing everything about you. All the while, you were powerless to deny his request. His voice was soothing, low and lulled you into a strange sense of security.

Sinking into the seat in front of the desk, you sat just at the edge, reminding yourself to keep your posture proper and to keep your appearance as professional as possible. You needed to employ every trick in the book in order to succeed in the interview; and Lucifer knew that. His expression was unreadable as he waited for you to settle in, his hands idly flipping through your resume. “So, tell me, what do you think you can bring to this company working for me?”

Ah, there it was, the interview questions. You had prepared for this and the answer you rehearsed fell easily from your lips. “I have a lot of experience in working as an office manager. I understand that my duties may extend past what was listed in the job posting. However, I am willing to take in the extra hours and to work whatever job is given to me to ensure that your position and your reputation remains as impeccable as it has always been since the start. I will bring a new level of efficiency in your workflow and I will be a great asset to your company as such.”

He hummed, seeming uninterested in what you had to say. You began to sweat a bit at the back of your neck. Perhaps he had expected something more unique? Once again, he flipped through the pages of your resume, not really reading anything, just looking at the information you had put down. “I see… And how do you deal with pressure or stressful situations?”

Again, another question you had prepared for. “The easiest way to diffuse stressful stressful situations or overwhelming workloads is to make extensive lists. I like to break things down into their basic components so that large tasks are much more manageable in a timely manner.

He hums again, a vague sound of approval this time, nodding only slightly before making a mark on the papers in front of him. “Very good. Final question. How do you like to be managed?” His eyes flick up to you and there’s something in the way he gazes in your direction that makes your heart beat faster. There was something in the way his eyes trailed up and down your body that had you sitting up straighter than before.

“As long as I have clear direction, I will be able to work independently or as a team as needed.”

Much to your surprise, Lucifer smiles at the answer, circling something on the paper before getting up and sauntering over to you. “That’s very good to hear.” he said quietly, turning to look out the floor to ceiling windows to the cityscape his office overlooked. “There will be a lot of times where I can be demanding and ask you to stay later than usual hours. Will your priority still be this job if I ask this of you?”

You swallowed, not sure how you felt about the question, his tone had an undercurrent of electric energy that had you heating up and shivering at the same time. “Y-yes.” You stated after a brief pause, entranced by the curve of his spine and how well his pants fit his ass. “I can do that. I plan on making this position more than a job. I am looking for a career here.”

Lucifer nodded again, still not making any eye contact with you, which gave you plenty more time to ogle at how his posture and his stance against the window struck such a formal and imposing figure. At this point, he could tell you to work three twenty hour shifts in a row and you wouldn’t complain. The prospect of a hot boss, great pay and a job that was close to home was too tempting to you.

“If you accept this position, you will be placed on a probation period, as is customary for this company.” He explained and your heart started to beat faster. Did this mean you landed the job? You couldn’t tell if he was psyching you up for potential disappointment or if he was genuinely starting to offer you the job. “Once I’ve gone over your performance during your probationary period, your salary will increase. Additional raises and bonuses will be offered as I see fit for… exceptional work.” You couldn’t see it, but rather, you felt him smirking at his reflection in his reflection. “Does that sound acceptable to you?”

“Yes…” You breathed, mouth watering at the aspect of being able to make so much money. It was more than any other job you worked for paid.

Humans were such easy little playthings to control.

Lucifer walked back to you, standing in front of his desk and leaning against the heavy wood. “Your job will be of course to do what I request, many times without question. There will be many sensitive documents that you will handle and that requires your utmost confidentiality.”

“I understand.” You said bluntly, trying to calm your heart and your breathing to no avail.

“You understand that this position also may also involve some after hours activities which I will ask for you to partake in. They are not written on the job description, but they are paramount to this position. Don’t worry… I’ll be sure you receive clear and concise directions on exactly what to do as my personal assistant.”

You blinked. The way he worded the phrase seemed off, but you couldn’t put your finger on what. It was odd, he had always referred to the job as ‘this position’ until just now. It was the first time the actual job title until he tugged at the cuffs of his suit, undoing the buttons. “Oh…” You breathed, eyes wide, cheeks blushing brightly when you realized what he meant, the bulge in his pants was all the proof you needed for there to be absolutely no miscommunication. From the looks of it, you could only surmise that he was barely half mast in that state. Fuck, what kind of monster is he hiding in there?

“Before we sign the papers and you accept the job, I would like to do a test run to make sure you’re a good fit for the company.”

“Yes… of course.” You were practically panting, eyes blown wide and cheeks flushed. You pressed your legs together trying to hide the arousal that started pooling there after the realization that you would be servicing your future boss in rather intimate ways. That fact alone had you ready to sign whatever contract he produced in a heartbeat.

“We’ll begin by seeing how good you are at following directions. Stand up, please.” He flicked his fingers upward, eyes traveling up and down your body, knowing exactly the kind of reaction he was pulling out of you.

You were upon your feet in an instant, hands at your side, back straight as a board and your legs together. You barely dared to breathe as he left his spot on his desk to circle you. You could feel his gaze taking in every detail. He was close enough for you to smell the cologne he wore waft past you as he passed your side and you suppressed a shiver.

“What kind of posture is this?” He chided, pressing the spot between your shoulder blades gently, pushing your shoulders back. “Just because you’re standing up straight does not mean you’re doing it properly.” Lucifer tsked, shaking his head slightly. “How do you expect to represent me and this company if you look like a cardboard cut out.” His hands left a trail of goosebumps across your skin as he adjusted your body as he saw fit. Your hands folded neatly in front of you, your legs now just shoulder width apart and your shoulders back, he took another circle around you to reassess your stance. “Much better.” He murmured. “It will do you well to remember how this feels. I won’t be so lenient if I see you looking so foolishly in front of a client.”

You nodded, memorizing just how he had posed your body, reminding yourself to practice in the mirror. You didn’t dare speak unless he gave you permission to, just something about how he stalked around you made it impossible to raise any objections.

“Stay still unless I say otherwise.” Lucifer commanded next. “It’s important that you are at attention no matter what the circumstances. When I ask for your… special services, you will refer to me as Sir.” His finger traced the hem of your pencil skirt, pulling it up just a bit and you fought back the urge to flinch. “But of course, I should say that right now, you have the power to stop this at any time. Understood?”

“Yes…”

“Yes who?” Lucifer’s tone was sharp and the hand playing at the hem of your skirt moved to place a firm spank on your ass. The pain coursing down your leg, you jumped a bit, but remembered his command to stay still.

“Yes… Sir…”

“Good.” He nearly purred, leaning in to kiss the shell of your ear, his breath hot against your skin and his hand once again traveled to the hem of your skirt, playing with the fabric and pulling it up until he got a good view of the lacy lucky panties you decided to wear that day. “Very good.” he praises, tracing his fingers across the flimsy fabric. Your breath hitches as he brushes light touches across your bare skin. You stay still, demanding that your body stop trembling, though Lucifer can clearly tell just how nervous you are, shaking like a little lamb at his behest. In a show of dominance, he lets your skirt fall back down, cupping your face to pull you into a heated kiss.

Your mind is practically blank at this point, hands still clasped in front of you, gripping each other like your life depended on it while he claimed your lips and took your breath away. At some point you had reciprocated, kissing him back and earning a low growl from the back of his throat as a reward. He pulled away, your lipstick smeared across his face and his eyes glittering in lust as he looked at your disheveled form in perfect posture. “Hmm… yes… I think you’ll fit right into my needs.” He appraised, rubbing his chin and smirking. The expression sends a shiver down your spine but you didn’t dare move.

His hand guides you two steps forward towards his desk. “Bend over.” He commands and you oblige, your chest laying on the surface of the mahogany desk. Your hips flush against the edge of it while your hands stretched out to grasp at what it could to stay still as he asked. He readjusts you again, spreading your legs further, straining the fabric of your skirt. With a tsk of frustration, he pulled the offending piece of clothing up to your waist, letting the cool AC hit the back of your thighs and allowing him to spread your legs even further. In your heels, you could feel your calves tremble as you struggled to keep the position he had set for you. Thankful for the desk to cling onto, you used it to ground yourself as your ass is exposed to him. Your legs spread to the point where you were bent sharply, completely level with the desk and your hot core could feel the air conditioning blow past your heated nether lips. “You look good spread across my desk like this. I’ll be sure to make use of this position often.” He commented, rubbing your ass gently, teasing you through the fabric of your panties. His fingers brush across the wet spot on your panties and you can feel the it mold against your wet heat. Embarrassed, you stifled the whine that formed at the back of your throat. Even if the two of you were on a separate floor from others, you didn’t know if there were others right outside those heavy glass doors.

His teasing seemed to last forever and you could just see how much he was enjoying it whenever you dared to glance up and see your lewd reflection in the mirror with that salacious grin on his face as he fingered you oh so gently and left you on the edge of wanting more. Every time you glanced up even briefly, he always made sure to make eye contact with you in the reflection, knowing just how much you were affected by his basic touches.

Of course, he wasn’t getting out of the exchange with nothing. The slight bulge in his pants earlier had strained into an impressive tent seeing his new assistant splayed out before him, eager to please. Humans were such predictable creatures. Predictable, yet so much fun to toy with. He couldn’t get enough of the soft sighs that came from your lips as you held back your noises. It only made him want to see break for him even more. His slender, manicured fingers finally gave you a little relief, pressing against the wet spot in your panties and following the curves of your pussy lips that had molded themselves there due to your slick. At that, your hips bucked back, urging him to give him more but a firm hand on your lower back stopped any further movements. “I did not say you could move.”

You whined, clutching onto the edge of the desk, your fingers sore and locking up from how hard you were holding on. You weren’t sure how you were going to handle this sort of treatment on the regular when the trial run was already driving you mad with need. As if he could sense your impatience, he finally pulled down your panties, allowing your legs a brief reprieve as he took them off and tossed them to the side before making you resume the position you had held for who knew how long.

“For a trial run, you’re doing very well.” He cooed, smirking as he saw your glistening folds. “I should remind you that there are people still working in the building. We may have a floor to ourselves, but please keep that in mind and don’t scream too loudly now.” He chuckled darkly, tracing the curve of your ass and finally sinking a finger into your heat. Just the feeling of being penetrated by something had you keening and you struggled to keep yourself from screaming. “Ooh, that’s a pretty noise you make… Please make more of those.” he encouraged, slowly sliding his finger in and out of you.

“Y-yes sir.” You panted, your legs ached, but the pain was absolutely nothing compared to the pleasure that was building up in your abdomen just from feeling a finger slowly fuck you. You had come in for an interview and your soon to be boss was unraveling you in ways you had only fantasized about. All the while, Lucifer remained the very image of composure, if it weren’t for his very obvious hard on being pressed against the back of your thigh, you would have thought he was impervious to the scene he had orchestrated. Every time his finger dragged itself out of you, you let out an appreciative mewl, mind reeling as he pressed every button he needed for you to submit completely to him.

You lost track of time and how many times he left you wanting more with how his finger moved in and out of you. At some point, he had added a second, then a third, deliciously stretching you out. You were so wet and ready for him, you could feel your essence drip down your thighs as your legs struggled to keep you upright. Lucifer was patient, he had lived several millennia already, edging you until you were a begging mess on top of his desk for a few hours was absolutely nothing to him.

In a show of surprising restaurant, he pressed hot kisses against the back of your neck, nipping at your skin whenever you let out a particularly breathy sigh. The scent of sex and his cologne enveloped you and you were practically dizzy with need. “Sir…” You whined after he had curled his fingers in you, making you see stars and your walls trembled, clenching around his fingers. “Please… I need more…”

“Oh?” He asked, raising an eyebrow and removing his fingers, much to your dismay. He watched in amusement as your pussy twitched, clenching around air now that his fingers were no longer filling you. Glancing at the clock on the wall, he was surprised how long you had held out before you were begging for him. His erection had pressed against his impeccably tailored pants for so long, it was almost painful, yet, he couldn’t let you have your way just yet. Even if it was a trial, he still wanted to see just how far he could push you. “You think you really deserve more? You haven’t even gotten this job yet.”

His fingers were back on your wet, sopping cunt, sliding up and down your labia, rubbing slow, firm circles around your clit. You wailed, bucking your hips and forgetting the command to stay still until his other hand reminded you by spanking your ass cheek. “No moving.” He growled and you struggled to obey, stilling your body even though every part of you screamed to squirm and beg for him. “You will get more when I decide you get more.”

You could only nod in reply, letting him use your body as he saw fit. “For your next test. You will cum when I tell you to.” he breathed, pressing his finger against your clit, making you choke back a sob of pleasure. “After that, I promise you, you’ll be at the last part of the interview.”

“Yes, Sir. I’ll do what you want, Sir. Whatever you say, Sir.” You babbled mindlessly, your body aching for relief and release. The torture and pleasure he could pull out of you with just his fingers had your mind jumping to the future to what other things he could elicit out of you.

“Good girl.” He praised, patting your hair in a surprisingly soft gesture. He followed the gentleness with a chaste kiss on your lips before going right back to being the commanding figure you had met him as. He plunged his fingers into you again, knuckle deep and pumping in and out of you furiously, loving the way your walls fluttered and clenched as you held off on your orgasm until he permitted it. “You are so obedient… just what I like.” He praised breathlessly, working you closer and closer to the point of no return.

You couldn’t think straight, you didn’t care if others heard the lewd sounds coming from your lips as you whined, begging for release. You were so close, you wanted to cum so badly, but your determination to pass his test outweighed your desire and you held out until his silky voice whispered the blissful word into your ear. “Cum…” He purred and you gratefully crumbled, your body spasming around his fingers, milking it like it was his cock. Soft whines escaped your lips and tears of gratitude streaked down your face.

“Thank you, Sir.” You panted, blissed out and feeling weightless after such a powerful orgasm. Your vision blurred as you stared blankly at the wall, wondering if this was the end of the interview. Lucifer’s fingers leaving your sore pussy sure seemed to signal that things had reached a conclusion. Glancing up at the reflection in the windows, you flushed bright red when you saw Lucifer lewdly cleaning his fingers off with his tongue.

“Hmm… I think you would do well.” He said once his fingers no longer shone with your essence. He sauntered over to the other side of the desk where you clung onto for dear life. Sinking into his chair, he casually opened up one of the drawers, pulling out a contract and placing it in front of you. “If you believe you can keep up with my demands, then all you have to do is sign on the dotted line at the bottom. He slid you an ornate fountain pen into your hand.

Your trembling digits could barely hold onto the pen and you moved to start reading the contract, going over the terms and conditions of your new position. Most of it was the basic business jargon seen in every typical job. There were a few things that seemed out of place, but in your just fucked state of mind, it was very difficult to focus on what about them seemed wrong. Unable to really think straight about what you were getting yourself into, you placed the pen onto the paper, eager to start your new job.

Just as you the pen started to move, you heard the sound of a zipper being undone and the hard erection you had felt earlier on the back of your thigh now pressed up against your sore pussy. You gasped, eyes going wide at the feeling of being stretched out once again. “Well? Will you sign?” He asked casually, sinking into you inch by inch as you struggled to breath and think, let alone sign a contract.

“Yes… Yes, Sir…” you whined, starting to shakily write your name as he bottomed out inside of you. He hissed, taking a hold of your hips and roughly slamming them back into him to get as much contact as he could. You yelped, unable to write your name at all. Your hips banged against the edge of the desk with every one of his rough thrusts. No doubt, there would be dark bruises there the next day reminding you exactly what you did to get the job you were signing for now.

With each pass, Lucifer lets a little more of himself go, grunting in effort as he relished in the feeling of your hot walls surrounding him. He hadn’t found such an obedient human in a long time. It would be such a fun time for him to push your limits every day you were in his office. What he offered now was only a glimpse of what he had planned for you. Every time your hand stuttered in the middle of signing your name, his grin widened. The closer you were to sealing the contract with him, the closer he was to his own release that he had been holding back for hours now.

“Just a little more…” he urged, slowing down his thrusts so you had at least some time to get a few more letters of your name out. Just as you finished, he let out a primal growl, slamming his hips into yours, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed in the room as he fucked you without abandon. The fountain pen fell from your fingers and you were back to clutching onto the edge of the desk as yet another explosive orgasm started to build in you.

Glancing up into the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of what Lucifer looked like while he was coming undone inside of you, you were surprised at the image you saw. It was only for a brief moment, but you swore you saw horns on him, and dark, feathery wings framing his body. The sound of the pen you dropped falling to the floor broke the illusion and the image of the prim and proper business man with an utterly feral look was all you saw.

He knew he wouldn’t last long once he entered you and so, he chased his release inside of you. As soon as the contract was signed, he was done for. His hand snaked around your abused waist to reach for your clit, bringing you to climax in time with his own. With a grateful groan, he released all the pent up tension in him, spilling his hot seed deep inside of you while your walls spasmed around him, milking every inch of him and accepting what he had given you. “Very good…” he cooed, his eyelids fluttering as he relished in the rush that came after such an explosive climax.

You whined, your body bruised and beaten, but also feeling absolutely boneless and euphoric. You hadn’t experienced anything like that before and it was all rather mindblowing to say the least. The contract in front of you with your shaky signature, ink blots from when you lost control of the pen and a fair amount of your tears stared back at you. This was your future. This would be a regular part of your life going forward; and you didn’t feel a shred of regret from it. You zoned out for a moment, hardly believing that it was all real.

Lucifer’s cock slipping out of you and the feeling of his cum dripping out of you snapped you back to reality. “Very good job. I’ll say you passed all the tests with flying colors.” He said, fixing his suit and continuing on as if he hadn’t just fucked the living daylights out of you. “I expect you to come in on Monday ready to work. I have a lot of filing for you to catch up with.”

He smirked, taking the signed contract and slipping it back into his desk. He cupped your chin in his hand and planted soft kisses on your lips, once again leaving you dizzy and breathless. “You are free to move now.” He said and you gratefully worked on closing your sore legs, wondering how you were going to make it out the office in the state that you were in. You weren’t sure you were able to walk, let alone get all the way home with how weak you were. Lucifer chuckled, dialing a few numbers into his cellphone. “I’ll arrange for a ride home for you.” He offered. “As a thank you for such a lovely interview.”

You breathed a sigh of relief, knowing you had a way to get back without catching too many unwanted stares at your disheveled state. “Thank you, Sir.”

“Lucifer.” He corrected briskly.

“Thank you, Lucifer. I’ll be sure to arrive on time Monday.” You sank into the chair to gather your wits about you, staring at your trembling hands.

“Good.” He said coolly and looking up at him, you gasped when you saw him casually twirling your panties on one finger as he looked down at you. “Your ride should be here shortly, please make sure you’re presentable, you do not want to dishonor me.”

“Yes. Of course, Lucifer.” you hastily combed your hand through your hair, hoping to take care of the worst of the flyaways. You glanced nervously at the panties in his hand, figuring they were a lost cause at this point and simply accepted the fact that you’d be taking this arranged ride with your boss’ cum dripping down your thigh. Carefully standing up, you remembered to assume the proper posture he had shown you earlier and he smiled in approval.

“Very good.” He gestured to the heavy glass doors, opening them as if with magic with a press of a button. “I’ll see you Monday.”

“Yes,Lucifer.” You replied obediently, taking the first shaky steps out.

“Oh, and one more thing.” he called out to your retreating form. You turned, blinking and wondering what else he could want from you. “Wear the same lipstick, will you? I’d love to see what that color looks like smeared all over my cock.”

“Yes, of course. As you wish.” You replied, blushing a deep red and rushing out of the office now, high off of getting the coveted position of Lucifer’s personal assistant and the prospect of what else he could ask you to do for him.

Watching you slip into the elevator, Lucifer smiled to himself. He reached into his desk and pulled out the contract, skimming the terms and conditions you had agreed to.

Humans were terribly predictable. Yet, they were also infinitely entertaining.

#Obey me #lucifer x mc #smut #obey me smut #my writing #i'm trash you're trash we're all trash #shameless smut

[alt-rose]

a trip to syracuse - colson baker

colson baker imagine

a trip to syracuse - a trip to syracuse leads to a cameo and a heart to heart.

word count: 4.9K (someone stop me)

the scene is in big time adolescence. if you haven’t seen it, i highly recommend. it’s on hulu. 

(this could be considered a part 2 to 21, but it could be read alone)

(GIF from tenor)

it was July. you had spent your last few months working your ass off at SNL before staring as a lead in your first comedy film after your second season of SNL had ended. you had been all over the country in the last few months. you were in New York for work. then, you traveled home to your hometown to visit your family during your first week of the summer hiatus. then, you had to ship out to LA to work on your movie. then, you somehow ended back in your hometown.

you were everywhere. busy. never had time for yourself, or the time to do what you really wanted.

you hadn’t seen Colson since a few weeks after your birthday weekend. you texted back and forth. you called occasionally when you both had time. he made you laugh, and you, of course, enjoyed hearing about all his crazy stories. you looked forward to the random pictures he sent you from the studio or from set. he liked having something to share with someone, or rather, someone to share things with.

the two of you were like two best friends that could share everything with each other without needing to be physically there for each other. you could go days without talking because of your busy schedules, yet whenever you caught up with each other, it felt so natural. your relationship felt impossible to explain to anyone that asked. you felt connected to him somehow, but you couldn’t place the feeling.

--

             colson baker: you should come visit me

that was the text you got at 3 am on a Wednesday, well technically Thursday.

you smiled at your phone as you stared at it. the light blinded you as you laid in bed in your dark bedroom at your parent’s house. it was 4 am in New York. what could he have possibly been doing? you learned not to ask that question often when it came to Colson and Pete. they were night owls and tended to drink or smoke anything they could get their hands on. for your sake, you’d rather not know what they were doing. it helped keep your nerves at bay.

however, 4 am in New York tended to worry you a bit. you opened your phone, squinting as the light grew brighter. you began to type back.

             you: I should?

             you: please tell me you are being safe

you scrolled through your phone as you waited for a response. your phone buzzed with a notification. you opened the message.

             colson baker: safe at pete’s place

ah. Pete’s place was their new hangout. Pete was staying with his girlfriend, AG, as you called her, and it was technically her place. they were getting ready to head to Syracuse in a week or so for Pete’s new movie that Colson was making a cameo in.

             colson baker: you should visit

             colson baker: call me a pussy but I miss you

you smiled at that text. he missed you. your heart thumped in your chest.

             you: I miss you too

             you: text me tomorrow when you are sober and it’s not the middle of the night.

             you: let’s see if sober colson wants me to visit

you watched as the typing bubbles appeared before the message appeared.

             colson baker: sober colson said yes

             colson baker: but, I’ll text you tomorrow about it

you laugh at his message before typing back.

             you: goodnight cols

             you: get some rest

your eyes began to lull shut, but you were determined to stay up for the next ten minutes in case he wanted to text you.

you fell asleep to one finally message from him.

             colson baker: goodnight velcro monkey

somehow the velcro monkey joke always made an appearance when someone was drunk or high. it made them laugh at how the reserved, independent person you were could turn into the clingiest drunk on the planet.

you smiled one last time before shutting off your phone and going back to sleep.

--

the next morning, you sat in your parents’ kitchen answering emails on your laptop. your attention was occasionally pulled away from work as you watched your dogs play in the family room. it was good to be home for a bit, but your parents and dogs were a bit distracting when it came time to work.

             “your phone has been buzzing for the last 20 minutes,” you mom said setting your phone down at the kitchen table. “you left this upstairs.”

             “god, thank you,” you tell her not looking up from your computer.

             “a lot of messages from a Colson Baker,” she gives you a look, raising her eyebrow.

             “who’s Colson Baker?” your dad asked butting into the conversation as he made his way into the kitchen.

you moved to quickly snatch you phone from them. you were an adult now with an adult job, yet they still treated you like a teenager.

             “a friend,” you reply as you opened your phone.

you had four messages and a missed call from Colson.

             “seemed like they really wanted to get a hold of you,” you mom hummed as she moved to make her third cup of coffee that day.

             “why do they want to get a hold of you so badly? seems important,” your dad chimed in.

             “guys, it’s fine. please chill,” you reply. “just a friend. anyway, I have to take this call.”

you got up from the table before taking your dogs out to your back patio. you took a seat on one of the outdoor lounges as you called Colson.

             “hey,” his raspy voice rang through the phone.

             “hey,” you sigh. “what’s up with Syracuse?”

             “you should come visit me in Syracuse.”

             “I know, but why Syracuse?” you laugh.

             “Pete’s doing his movie, and we’re both making a cameo.”

you went silent for a bit.

             “we talked to the director this morning. they need background for my cameo scene, so I suggested you to Pete, and he was cool with it. the director said it was cool if you wanted to join the project for a cameo.”

             “are you serious?”

             “deadly. come spend the rest of the summer in Syracuse with me.”

             “I’ll have to check my schedule-”

             “shut up,” he laughed. “I know you’re free.”

             “you’re right,” you sighed. “my family isn’t going to be happy with me leaving again, but they can just visit when SNL starts back up.”

             “so you’ll do it?”

             “sure, what else do I have to do?” you asked adjusting the phone to your ear. “plus, a week or two in Syracuse with you and Pete would be fun.”

             “YES,” you heard him shout over the phone. “aight, cool,” he finally calms down. “I’ll let Pete know.”

             “alright, Cols. sounds good,” you sigh into the phone.

             “what’s wrong?” he asked after a beat.

             “nothing. I’m just trying to figure out how to explain why a Colson Baker was blowing up my phone earlier to my parents.”

you heard him let out a laugh from his end. you heard him murmur something to someone. you heard him laugh once more before he addressed you.

             “Pete said to tell your parents that I’m your dealer.”

             “tell Pete that my parents might have a heart attack.”

you heard him mumble something before you heard a roar of voices.

             “tell your parents that Colson works as a janitor for NBC,” you heard Pete yell into the phone.

             “you guys are ridiculous,” you sigh into the phone as you pinch the bridge of your nose.

             “but you love us,” Pete sang into the phone.

             “yeah, I do.”

you heard them laugh.

             “you could just tell you parents the truth,” Colson suggested. “I don’t mind your family knowing. the whole reason we were keeping it quiet was to keep you out of the spotlight.”

you thought about it for a minute.

             “and what exactly are we keeping from her family?” you heard Pete in the background.

             “that I’m her best friend now. I replaced you,” Colson quickly replied.

             “HEY,” you yelled sitting up in your seat. “I never said that.”

             “it’s okay,” Pete said louder into the phone. you can only assume he was closer to the phone. “I know you love him more than me.”

             “that’s not true,” you said in a defensive tone. “I love you both equally.”

             “RIIIIIGHT,” Pete drew through the phone.

             “right,” Colson agreed.

             “it’s okay. I know who you text when you’re supposed to be working, (y/n),” Pete slyly said in the phone.

             “knock it off, Pete,” you growl into the phone, causing the guys to laugh. “where’s your girlfriend? can’t you go bother her?”

             “oh shit,” you heard Pete say. “I forgot to bring her the food we made. bye (y/n).”

you laughed at him before you heard Colson.

             “I took you off speaker. he went back into his room with the food.”

             “you guys made breakfast?”

             “yeah, our post-mushroom pancakes,” he said. “totally came down from them a half hour ago. the food’s probably cold as shit now.”

             “RIP to AG’s kitchen.”

             “RIP, indeed.”

you laughed.

             “I can’t wait to see you, Cols,” you smile into the phone.

             “I’m excited to see you, too. I’ll send you a plane ticket.”

             “I can pay for my own plane ticket. it’s okay,” you reply. “you can save that up to buy me dinner when I get to Syracuse.”

             “(y/n) (y/l/n), are you asking me on a date?”

             “too forward?” you laugh.

             “not forward enough. maybe, I could buy you breakfast too?”

you laugh and cover your mouth with his suggestion before you finally calm yourself down.

             “maybe you could,” you reply coolly.

             “NOOOO,” he whined into the phone. “can you come to New York now?”

you laughed together before the conversation lulled into a gentle silence.

             “can I tell you a secret?” you whisper into the phone.

             “shoot.”

             “I’ve been listening to your music.”

you paused waiting for his reaction.

             “oh boy, have I converted you to hip hop and rap?”

             “no, I made an exception for Machine Gun Kelly,” you smile.

             “really?” you could hear him shift around. “got a favorite?”

             “27,” you reply too quickly. “I’m a sucker for the piano. Kiss the Sky and Habit are pretty good too.”

             “next show I have, you’re gonna be in the crowd. I want to perform for you.”

             “for me?” you ask in a posh voice. “you could always give me a private show.”

             “I just might.”

suddenly, your attention was pulled to your mom who was standing at the back door. you raise an eyebrow at her as you listened to Colson mumble through the phone.

             “hold on, Cols,” you tell him. “what’s up?” you ask her.

             “we’re leaving in a half an hour to go to dinner at your grandparents. you need to get ready,” she replied.

you nod to her. she stood in the doorway waiting for you to get off the phone. you raised another eyebrow at her. she wanted to eavesdrop on your conversation.

             “alright,” you sigh. “Cols, I have to go. I have dinner with my grandparents.”

             “fine. fine. call me later?”

             “yeah, I’ll call you later.”

             “bye (y/n), love you.”

you smiled at that. even though the love was platonic, it felt good to hear it from him.

             “bye Cols, love you too.”

once you hung up, you gave your mom a pointed look.

             “love, huh?” she smiled.

             “just a friend,” you mutter before calling the dogs in.

             “just a friend that you love,” she teased.

             “so who is Colson Baker?” your dad chimed in once the two of you made it inside.

             “he’s a friend of Pete and I,” you reply heading to the stairs.

             “what does he do?” your dad asked looking up from his phone.

             “just look him up. I have to get ready.”

once you safely made it up the stairs and away from their questions, you began to rummage through your closet for clothes. you were pulled out of your search by your dad yelling up the stairs.

             “MACHINE GUN KELLY. YOU’RE FRIENDS WITH MACHINE GUN KELLY?”

--

a week and a half later, you were on a plane to Syracuse. your parents weren’t super hip about you leaving so soon, but you argued that it was for work. and, it was. you weren’t lying.

they also were not so happy about your friendship with Colson, or Machine Gun Kelly as they knew him. your mom argued for the tattoos, which made no sense, since they liked Pete, and he had tattoos. they were also not so impressed that he was a rapper.

maybe, you shouldn’t have let them read all the articles about him.

he was heavily misunderstood by the media, and Colson was not ‘Machine Gun Kelly’. he was Colson Baker. you tried to explain that he was so much more than what the media portrayed, but your parents were more of the seeing rather than believing type.

with that all said, you were happy to be out of the house. you were tired of constantly arguing for and defending your friendship. anytime you got super defensive of Colson, your family accused you of being in love with him. were you? hell yeah. but, you weren’t going to admit that to anyone. you ran from your feelings, remember?

once you finally landed at the airport in Syracuse, you texted the guys.

             colson baker: in line waiting for you

             colson baker: north pick up line

             colson baker: black escalade

when you finally made it out the doors with your baggage, you searched for the black escalade. you attention was pulled to the sound of doors opening, and you found Colson on the passenger side of the car as Pete climbed into the backseat. you smiled as you watched the guys. you made your way to them.

             “hi,” you smile.

             “hi,” Colson replied looking down at you.

you kinda forgot what it was like to be around six-foot giants. Colson moved to take your bag from you before putting it in the trunk. after you helped him load up your bag, he took your hand and led you to the passenger seat.

before you could hop in, he grabbed you and kissed you. you moved to grip the fabric of his jacket as you kissed him back.

             “did you just kiss her? what? did he just kiss you?” Pete asked dumbfounded from the backseat as he looked back and forth from you and Colson.

you laughed to yourself as you buckled your seat belt while Colson made his way to the driver’s seat. as he hopped in and buckled up, he turned to you. you laughed before turning to Pete.

             “anyone want to answer me? did you kiss her?” Pete said slapping Colson’s shoulder with the back of his hand.

             “yeah, I did. what are you going to do about it?” Colson raised an eyebrow at him.

you laughed picking at the skin of your lip.

             “what the hell? am I third wheeling this whole trip?”

             “dude, you would have had me third wheeling this whole trip if we didn’t invite her.”

             “how long?” Pete whined. “how long has this been a thing?”

             “since my birthday,” you reply quietly.

             “since your birthday,” he said dropping his jaw. “that was months ago.”

             “I know,” you laugh. “to be fair, we haven’t seen each other much since. we’ve been talking and stuff, though.”

             “what the hell, guys.”

you and Colson both laughed as he pulled out of his spot in line and drove toward your hotel.

             “oh, I told my parents about you, and they googled you. they aren’t very happy.”

             “fantastic.”

--

you spent your first day on set waiting around for the guys in Pete’s trailer before your call time. you and Colson sat and talked, just being close to each other after months apart. once it was finally your call time, you got your makeup and hair done, which wasn’t much considering you were just an extra in a scene.

the director had you placed at a bar table with two other girls. drinks were all placed in front of you. you fixed your hair a bit before the director called action. the scene began and you just kept your head down, while you waited for your cue. one of the guys walked up to your table and began talking to the three of you. the camera panned over to your table, and the guy began his lines. you smiled and laughed at him.

             “I already have a tab open so if you want another-”

             “hey,” Pete yelled catching your attention. “I’m sorry about our friend. we found him in a dumpster. he’s a rescue. sorry”

             “it’s okay,” the girl next to you yelled.

             “aw don’t worry. he’s got all of his shots though, so he won’t bite,” Pete called back.

             “oh,” the girl laughed. “what about your puppy?”

             “who? Mo?”

             “yeah, he looks a little young to be in here.”

             “you look a little old to be in here,” Pete shot back. you had to hold in your laugh.

             “CUT,” the director yelled. “let’s do it one more time, just in case, and then move on.”

you repeated the scene once more before everyone moved on to the next part of your scene. the guys all crowded around your small table. Colson stood behind Pete, who was sitting on one of the barstools.

             “you guys look great. can we get another girl on the other side of Griffin please?” the director asked, gesturing to the second lead in the film. “(y/n), can you move?”

             “yeah,” you reply before hopping out of your seat to sit on the other side of Griffin. you then realized that you were directly in the camera’s line of vision.

you looked up at Colson who was across the table from you. he sent you a wink before taking a drink of whatever liquid was in his glass. you smiled back at him before Pete reached across the table to fist bump you. you laughed at him before getting ready for the scene.

the director moved back and called “Action.”

             “Mo actually got back from the army,” Pete started his lines.

             “yeah?” you respond.

             “yeah, he was there for 16 years,” Pete replied to you.

             “let’s not talk about, yeah,” Griffin responded giving Pete and Colson a look.

             “anyway, yeah, he hasn’t been laid in 16 years. how crazy is that?” Pete said before Colson could interrupt him.

             “aye, to Mo,” Colson said bring his glass in.

             “to Mo,” the table responded crashing the glasses together.

             “welcome back brother,” Colson said.

             “yeah, man.”

             “hoo-rah, right?” Colson said clinking his glass to yours.

             “hoo-rah,” Griffin cheered back.

             “hey, may we all make it to heaven before the devil knows we’re dead, baby,” Colson yelled.

             “YEAH,” Pete cheered back beating his chest like a frat boy.

             “cheers,” Griffin called before clinking his glass to yours.

             “wait. what does that mean?” Pete asked.

             “like, we’re sinners and-and-” Colson nodded his head. “and, bad motherfuckers, and he’s coming to suck us back…” Colson paused to do a little motion before continuing. “he wants us.”

             “isn’t that, like a Buzz Frontier song?” the other guy asked, and Colson looked up at him.

             “who wants us?” Pete interrupts looking at Colson. “what did he do? what did we do?”

             “Satan, motherfucker, wants us,” Colson said moving his head to emphasize each word.

he then bent his head back up before making eye contact with you. one of the other girls began to laugh, which caused the table to laugh with her. Colson sent you another wink, and you smiled back at him.

             “Cut,” the director called. “that was good. let’s do it one more time.”

--

you were sad that your scene was over. you liked working with Pete and Colson. after you finished getting out of your costume, you put your clothes back on before heading to Pete’s trailer. in there, Pete and Colson were lounging on the furniture.  

             “what are you two doing?” you laugh as you close the trailer door behind you.

             “waiting for you,” Pete shot back.

             “what’s the plan?” you asked taking a seat on the couch next to Colson.

he wrapped an arm around you.

             “I have to shoot for a few more hours, but we can meet up later,” Pete suggested.

             “do you want to go out?” Colson asked you. “while we wait.”

             “sure,” you nodded. “what time do you think you’ll be done?” you asked Pete.

             “not sure, but I’ll text you.” Pete stood up from his seat. “I have to get back, but I’ll see you later.”

             “aight,” Colson replied reaching to dab up Pete.

Pete took his hand before patting you on the head.

             “bye Pete,” you call to him as he leaves.

             “bye, be safe,” he laughs back at the two of you.

as you watched the door of the trailer shut, you felt a pair of eyes on you. you turned to find Colson staring down at you.

             “what?” you laugh at him. “do I have something on my face?”

             “no.” he gave you a small smile.

             “then, stop staring at me like that.”

             “staring at you like what?”

             “like that,” you said pointing at his face. “making me feel self-conscious.”

             “can’t help that you’re really pretty.”

             “and that’s my cue to go,” you say starting to get up from the couch.

Colson laughed behind you before pulling you back onto the couch.

             “do you want to go to the mall?” he asked smiling at you. “then I can take you out for that dinner you promised me.”

             “ohhhh, I guess I did promise you a dinner,” you hum. “let’s go then.”

--

             “try it on.”

             “no. did you see how many zeros were on that tag?”

             “jesus, just try it on.”

             “no.”

             “get in that goddamn dressing room and try on the goddamn dress,” Colson mutter quietly to you.

Colson had dragged you into some fancy boutique to “buy you a dress.” you resisted, of course, and the fact that he was so willing to buy you an expensive dress scared you. you were very responsible with your money, and you never splurged on yourself. this, of course, was not going over well with Colson now that you were refusing to even try on a dress that was more than a hundred dollars.

             “Colson, it’s really expensive,” you softly say looking up at him.

             “so?” he shrugged. “please let me buy you something nice.” he gave you the closest thing he could to ‘puppy dog eyes.’

             “jesus, fine,” you breathe pulling yourself from his eyes. “I’m trying it on, but if I don’t like it, you’re not buying it.”

             “scouts honor,” he said holding up his hand.

with that, you snatched the hot pink mini dress from his hands and marched toward the dressing room. you could hear Colson lightly laughing at you as he watched you.

once you made it into the dressing room, you took a seat on the bench. you put your head in your hands before taking a breath. were you doing this? yes, and it went against every bone in your body. after you settled yourself down, you began to take off your clothes before trying on the dress.

once you began to slip on the dress, you couldn’t get it to zip up. you tried every angle possible, but the zipper wouldn’t budge. you let out a heavy sigh before collecting yourself. you peeked through the sliver of the door to see if Colson was outside the dressing room. you found him browsing at a rack of clothes a few feet from your dressing room.

you opened the door by a crack before poking your head out.

             “Colson,” you whisper-yelled to him.

his head perked up before finding you. he began to stalk closer to you.

             “how does it look?” he asked when he got to you.

             “I think I need a bigger size,” you admitted to him.

             “I’ll go grab the next size up, but can I at least see it?”

             “no, it won’t zip up,” you shot back.

             “can I try?”

             “can you try?”

             “jesus christ,” he sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. “just turn around.”

you opened the door a bit more before turning around. you felt him place his hands on your hips before finding the zipper.

             “this should totally zip,” he whispered in your ear. “the zipper’s just stuck.”

you felt him move the zipper down before pulling it back up. the dress finally zipped.

you sighed once the dress finally fit properly. as you glanced in the mirror, you fell in love with the dress. you looked good. it was almost as if the dress was made for your body. it didn’t gap in weird places, and it wasn’t too snug. it felt perfect, and for its price, you were glad it was perfect. it would be a rip-off if it wasn’t.

             “damn,” Colson whispered.

             “damn,” you nodded.

             “you’re getting it.”

             “I’m not going to fight you on it,” you reply turning around to face him. “now, get out so I can get dressed.”

             “at least, let me unzip you first,” he laughed.

--

four hours and a shopping trip later, you and Colson were sitting in some fancy restaurant together. he was in a fashionable shirt and jacket while you sat in your hot pink mini dress.

             “thank you for dinner,” you say reaching across the table to take his hand.

             “you’re welcome,” he smiled at you after he handed the paid check back to the waitress. “I promised you a dinner, didn’t i?”

             “you did,” you laugh.

             “you wanna get out of here?” he suggests nodding toward the door.

             “sure,” you nod back.

with that, he moved to help you out of your chair. with his hand in yours, the two of you headed to his rental car. he opened the passenger door for you. before you could get in the car, you turned and placed a hand on his cheek.

his eyes met yours, and your heart melted. his hands landed on your waist, and he pulled you close before planting his lips on yours. you leaned up to kiss him back. and there you were, standing in the parking lot of a fancy restaurant making out like a bunch of teenagers.

--

at sunset, the two of you were sitting at the private rooftop patio of your hotel. you were both laying on one of the daybeds watching the sky change colors. you were deep in thought.

             “I’m scared,” you admit staring up at the sky.

             “scared?” Colson quietly asked you from where he was laying next to you.

             “yeah,” you breathe. “I don’t do relationships. I run from them. maybe it’s my fear of rejection or my fear of getting hurt.” you pause for a moment. “I really like you. like really, really like you. and part of me is scared because I don’t want to get hurt, but I want a relationship. I want love, you know?”

             “I get it,” he murmured next to you.

you were both at the point of the night where deep conversations were rolling. should you have been so honest with him? who knows. would you regret it tomorrow? maybe. but, right now, it had been said.

             “and, I want a relationship with you.” he rolled over on his side to face you. “I’m just scared because I don’t want to be just another girl for you. you buy me a pretty dress and take me to dinner with the hopes that I land in your bed tonight, and it makes me wonder,” you whisper.

you could feel his gaze. he took one of your hands and placed a kiss on the backside of it.

             “you and I both know my track record with relationships kinda suck,” he starts. “but, I want this to work.” he brushed a peace of hair from your face. “I’ve never felt this way with anyone, and I’m going to be completely honest when I say it scares the shit out of me. and, if it makes you more comfortable, we can take this relationship at whatever speed you want it to go. I just want to be with you. I want to make this work, and I want to be a part of your life. I want this relationship to be more than just texts at 4 am and kissing you once every three months.”

you were both quiet for a bit. you were processing what he had said. he wants this to work. he wants to be with you. he wants this relationship, and he wants it to be more.

             “I’m gonna fall in love with you if you keep saying shit like that,” you whisper after your moment of silence.

             “good,” he smiled placing a hand on your cheek. “because, I’m falling in love with you.”

your breath caught in your throat. you wrapped your arms around his neck before pulling him down to you. he placed his lips on yours and kissed you. laying there in the daybed, you kissed him back.

             “be my whatever,” he whispered.

             “be your whatever?” you ask raising an eyebrow.

    ��        “yeah, whatever you want to call yourself. just be mine. be mine, baby.”

             “okay.”

and you kissed him once more.

.

.

.

not sure how i feel about this. hopefully, this does justice for a part two, anon. i hope you enjoyed. feel free to send requests. - rose xx

#colson baker #colson baker imagines #colson baker x reader #machine gun kelly imagines #machine gun kelly x reader

[thecampbellfam]

Alright, the infamous birth story is ready to be shared. A heads up that there are aspects of this story that are TMI (too much information) so read at your own risk. Birth can be messy. ;) It’s a long read so buckle up.

For the week leading up to D’s birth I experienced mild contractions and cramping. Baby was very low in my pelvis and my midwife said at my 38 week appointment that she anticipated me birthing prior to my 39 week appointment (spoiler alert: she was right!). On Sunday, March 21st I woke up to mild contractions. The contractions continued every 3-10 minutes from 6:30-9:30am. These abruptly stopped when the boys came in the bedroom and needed my help and attention while Nic had a shower. During the 3 hours of contractions I made the decision to cancel a lash extension appointment that I had later that day. I texted my housemate and friend, M, to see if she was free to help me power through the open jar orders that I had in case the labour picked up again.

I had a long lull between contractions so decided to capitalize on that time. M and I finished jar orders. I packed all the orders up and scheduled a Canada Post pick up for the next day. I baked myself some lactation cookies. And Nic and I cleaned the bathroom, did the dishes, washed laundry, put last minute items in the hospital bag, organized a few areas of the house, and kept the kids occupied. I had the odd contraction here or there but nothing consistent or overly painful.

By 4pm I was tired and decided to lay down. I looked up something called the Mile’s Circuit and decided to try out the recommended rest positions while I had a nap. The positions in the Mile’s Circuit are known to help reposition baby if they’re sitting off in your pelvis. This seemed to work because by 4:30pm I was having regular contractions again. Contractions were irregular in length and time between, but were coming. This continued ALL evening. The contractions started to get a bit more painful as the evening went on but were never rhythmic enough or painful enough to transfer to the hospital. I was in touch with my doula and midwife who confirmed the same information.

By 11:30pm I was exhausted, discouraged, and the contractions were beginning to get a bit more painful (though still irregular in length and time between). At midnight my doula, K, headed over. She was my saving grace. She encouraged me to labour in a few different positions, took me for a curb walk in the rain, and helped prop me up with pillows when I got tired in a way that would keep my pelvis open while I laid down. I asked her when I should head to the hospital and she said that though the contractions were strong, they were not quite rhythmic enough and I was still too coherent between them.

But at around 1:30am everything changed. I had 3-4 huge contractions laying down and then got up to use the washroom. There I entirely lost my mucus plug (up till that point I had had zero bloody show or fluid loss). I called out for K to tell her about the mucus plug, then stood up and immediately vomited excessively. I told K that we needed to leave now! Nic had been resting and quickly got up to help me to the car. Thankfully I’d had him load up the majority of our hospital items a few hours earlier *just in case* things went quickly.

By 1:54am we were on the road to the hospital with K trailing closely behind. We turned onto the main road and I had a big contraction that I couldn’t speak through while my midwife was trying to call me. When the contraction ended she said she’d meet me at the entrance of the ER. We passed a bridge and I reclined my seat as I had another massive contraction. With this one I started yelling in pain. My body was experiencing fetal ejection reflex and was trying to push baby out while I was simultaneously trying to fight to keep baby in. The feeling of fighting your own body’s urges is one I’ll never ever forget. After that contraction was an odd lull and for a moment I thought we’d make it to the hospital. However, the next contraction hit just as we were passing the pedestrian overpass along the Bypass. I yelled “Uh oh! Uh ohhh! <words I can’t repeat> Nic you need to pull over NOW!” He quickly pulled over, gestured for K to come to the car, and reached to help me. I was fully clothed and frantically needed help pulling my pants down. We got them down just enough as K came to my side. K saw that baby was crowning and with one big push she was out. K was there just in time to catch her. So at 2:05am baby girl was brought up to my chest and Nic and K quickly grabbed whatever they could from the backseat of the car to keep baby warm. A towel and Nic’s infamous highlighter yellow hoodie were the winners. K helped rub baby down to ensure she was warm and checked that she was breathing. From there we impulsively decided to continue on driving. We were in a place that would have taken an ambulance some time to get to plus it was 2am so there was nobody on the roads. I had something called Marginal Cord Insertion which can cause hemorrhaging with the birth of the placenta so I was keen to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Baby on my chest, cord still pulsing and placenta intact, and onward to the hospital we continued. It ended up being the calmest ride and I kept remarking at how amazing it was to have her out while Nic kept commenting on how insane and badass this all was. The relief of having baby girl out was incredible. I’ve been asked a lot if I have trauma from the car birth and I honestly don’t. It was such a relief to have baby out and that she and I were healthy.

We pulled up the hospital shortly after and were greeted by our midwife and a team of nurses ready with a wheelchair, warm towels and blankets. They helped me out of the car and then wheeled us up to the delivery floor. I was greeted by a lot of surprised and impressed nurses. Baby and I got checked over, the cord was cut, and I birthed the placenta. I was stitched up and then we spent a couple hours in the birthing room for monitoring. Afterwards we were transferred to a maternity room and spent a quiet morning and early afternoon snuggling baby girl, having cat naps, watching the sun come up, and even sneaking in a shower. Our short hospital stay was so calm and relaxing so I’m glad we weren’t discharged as early as I was initially hoping. Given that it was baby #3 for us the nursing staff really only came in to go over what’s required and we were largely left alone. Baby and I were deemed healthy and we were discharged at 2:30pm.

We took our time heading home to give my sister time to be there first. She photographed our oldest meeting his brother for the first time and offered to do the same when we brought baby girl home. The photos from both of these photoshoots are cherished and I’m beyond grateful for my sister making the time to capture them.

A few fun facts:

* I selfishly didn’t want to share my birthday with baby girl. Shared birthdays can be tricky and I wanted her birthdate to be her own. She was born 5 days after my birthday allowing us both our own days. I had told Nic that I wanted to be done having kids by 30 so her arriving 5 days past my 30th was pretty bang on.

* Midway through my pregnancy my midwife recommended that I pack an “if I birth in the car” kit for the car, given how quick my active labours were with my last two births. This recommendation put a bug in my ear that my baby could be born in the car.

* A week and a bit before baby girl was born I sobbed listened to a Birth Hour episode about a car birth. I often tear up listening to birth stories but this particular story struck me differently.

* Our doula knew things weren’t going great on the hospital drive because Nic kept slowing down and speeding up (which correlated with my contractions).

* Many have asked about how Nic’s car fared in the birth. This is wild. When Nic got home from work on Saturday he let the boys come out and play in the car for a few minutes with him. Our younger son accidentally left the passenger door open a crack. Not enough to drain the battery but enough for the passenger seat to get absolutely soaked in the overnight downpour. Nic saw that the seat was wet when he loaded up the car with hospital bags and put one of our (new) thick towels on the seat so that my butt wouldn’t get wet. When I was transferred to a wheelchair at the ER entrance, Nic lifted the towel and the seat was COMPLETELY DRY AND CLEAN!

* Baby girl was born at the perfect time. Nic was on his weekend, our housemates were free to watch the boys, K was available to attend the birth and my sister was free to photograph the boys meeting their sister.

* Registering baby’s birth was fun. I had to call up Vital Statistics who had to look on a map to figure out the postal code for the area that I birthed in, since she wasn’t born at a fixed address.

[hains-mae]

Flowers - Pt. 2

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 (end)

(Damian x Reader) Soulmate AU

Rating: T

Ages: Damian and you are 16, everyone’s ages follow after.

Summary: Soulmate AU where the wounds on your soulmate turns into a flower tattoo on your skin, if it heals with no scars the tattoo goes away, if it heals with a scar then the tattoo stays. You know who your soulmate is. It’s Robin. The vigilante. The crime-fighter and protector of Gotham who runs along side the Dark Knight himself – Batman. And you’re still you. This couldn’t possibly work, could it?

Notes: I did not expect my last fic to gain as much popularity as it had, and I am so thankful. @grincheveryday said there had to be a part 2, and although I wasn’t planning on it – I relented. And now here we are, with part 2.

Anyway, thank you again so much for the lovely comments. I hope you guys enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I do not own DC. If I did, I wouldn’t make it as confusing as it is now.

Metropolis. The convention was to be held in Metropolis. The city of Superman! I was more than excited when the school informed us, and it turned out that Lex Corp. was sponsoring our transport and accommodations.

Gotham Academy instructed us to pack a week’s worth. The actual event was going to run for a total of one week. 3 days to try and impress during the showcase. After that they scheduled a meeting for students and companies who were interested in internships and mentoring, which would last another 2 days. On the last day Wayne Ent. promised a gala to finish off with a bang.

“Oh, my baby is growing up.” Mom said as she helped me pack.

“It’ll only be a week, mom. You’re not getting rid of me that easy.” I laughed.

It was a decent trip going to the big city of Metropolis. What I noticed first were the clean streets and bright colours. The sun was actually out of the clouds (something that only happened a handful of times during the year back at Gotham). There was a lot of excited chatter on the bus as soon as we entered.

“Alright children, you know the rules. Keep close and stay in sight.” Our science professor spoke up over the murmurs.

“Ah, Gotham Academy I’m presuming!” A boisterous voice caught our attention and successfully made us all quiet.

It was Mr. Lex Luthor.

“Mr. Luthor, it’s an honour. May I just say on behalf of our school we’d like to thank you for the generous hospitality.”

“The honour is mine.” He replied to our guide and professor as he shook her hand. “With such young and brilliant minds, how can I refuse?”

It felt surreal to be there. To be meeting with one of the most famous inventors and businessmen on the planet. I thought about pinching myself but if this was a dream, I didn’t want it to end.

We were ushered into the building that we were going to be staying at for the next week. It looked amazing on the inside just as it did on the outside. The receptionist smiled warmly at us when we entered. As the adults talked about where to place us, my schoolmates and I were left in a waiting area with large, soft sofas. I sighed in delight thinking this day couldn’t get any better.

The briefing was short, and we were sent to our rooms to freshen up before dinner. If I thought the lounge was awesome, the bedrooms were 5 times more. The walls were cream in colour, and the furniture’s light tan tint complimented the aesthetic. Two queen sized beds since were to stay in pairs. Bright yellow flowers on beautifully painted vases stood on each of our bedside tables.

I took the bed closest to the window, and placed my bags on the floor. My roommate didn’t mind as she unzipped her suitcase and began to make herself at home. As we shuffled around placing our belongings in their respective areas, I couldn’t help but wonder if Robin would be here. It was a million to one chance since many schools from Gotham were involved, but still, I hoped.

You don’t even who he is, or even how he looks like under that mask — my inner muse said pointedly. I sighed, knowing it was right.

That evening I opted to go to the dining hall a little earlier than expected. I didn’t have any friends around, since it was limited to one student per section. So I found myself alone sitting on a table with my name printed all fancy on a card. I sighed, pulling out my phone and going over the slides of my presentation for the invention.

“Good evening.” A presence alerted me and I fumbled as my phone slipped from my hands.

They caught it in one swoop.

I looked up and found myself face to face with a pair of clear forest green eyes.

“Apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you. My name is Damian Wayne.” His tone was clipped as he handed me my phone, like he wanted to be anywhere else but here.

I swallowed thickly, I’m sure I looked flustered, he seemed like he was in a bad mood. Quickly clearing my throat I took my phone from him and introduced myself as quickly as I could.

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He said stiffly and sat down beside me.

There must’ve been a mistake on the placement of the name cards. Usually they would assign our seats in accordance to our sections. Mine should be at the last... and oh my god his name is next to mine?!  How did I not notice this???

“The - the pleasure is mine.” I said nervously and tucked my phone back in my pocket.

I may not be part of any of his (or his brothers’) fan club, but I wasn’t living under a rock. Damian Wayne. Son of Bruce Wayne; the one who organised this entire endeavour. The son of a multi-billionaire business man. The prince of Gotham! What in the world was he doing here — next to me?!

There was a painfully thick awkward silence between us, or maybe it's just me — I bit my lip and looked everywhere else in the room but the boy who was sitting beside me.

Taking deep breaths to calm myself down, I noticed a pleasant aroma in the air. I must’ve missed it after our surprising introductions, but his perfume smelled good. It wasn’t a scent I would normally smell nowadays, but I immediately recognised it.

“Arabian oud.” I said out loud. Unintentionally mind you, to which I mentally facepalmed.

I quickly covered my mouth and apologised. Great, now he’ll think you’re a creep, way to go.

“Yeah.” Damian cocked a brow at me and narrowed his eyes. “It is, not many people know.”

“My dad. He liked those kinds of scents. Came a cross it one time during a case he was working on. I guess it grew on me too.”

Talking about my dad to a complete stranger, it was nerve wrecking but at the same time the memory calmed me, and the scent dancing between us only lulled me further into memory lane.

“It sticks better than regular perfume.” He said nonchalantly.

I had to giggle at that. “Well you get what you pay for.” He scoffed, and I reminded myself that this guy was probably rolling in money every day.

There was silence again, but this time a little less awkward. I still hoped everyone would be here soon though.

My wish was granted. Not five minutes later, the room started to get filled. Everyone took their respective places and made quick chatter. Damian and I stayed quiet though. Perhaps his friends weren’t able to come either, well we had that in common.

Damian was introduced to us before the waiters served our food. Apparently he wasn’t part of the convention but because Wayne Ent. was the one sponsoring, Mr. Wayne deemed it necessary for him to make an appearance.

I sighed to myself and looked around, this really was nothing like I expected it to be.

-x-x-x-

Dinner was delicious. Everyone was happily stuffed and ready for bed. Everyone but me. I couldn’t relax after sitting next to Damian the whole night. I felt his stares multiple times but every time I try to catch him I fail.

As soon as we were done an old man wearing formal attire came to pick him up. Didn’t know where to, but I heard “father” and “penthouse”. Rich kids...

Maybe it was just me who was getting a little paranoid. Maybe it was because of all the rumours I heard of how fan clubs treat other girls who even dared to talk to him other than a polite hi or wave. I shuddered at the thought. Our professor was droning on about the rules (again) and the importance of the buddy system. I briefly wondered if I could sneak out for a small walk around the block or something to release some energy.

And that was exactly where I found myself later that evening. I managed to pass the receptionist and walk a couple of minutes around the area. Not too far, the hotel was still in view. There were people around minding their own business, which was new for me since around this time in Gotham, everyone would be at home. The crisp air felt good, and I was finally able to relax. It was too stuffy being next to him. His smell, it reminded me too much of dad. The memory made a lump form in my throat.

I looked up at the starless sky and blinked back tears. Mom said he’d be proud, I wanted to believe it was true.

“Aw little girl. Why so upset?”

I whirled around and saw a man all dressed in baggy black clothes inch closer at me. “How about you come with me and I can make you feel all better.”

I took a step back as my heart started to race. This was probably not the best idea, even though this was Superman’s City, it didn’t mean crime didn’t exist.

A heavy hand gripped tightly at my shoulder and I realised with utter dread that I was surrounded. Only one way to run and it was through the alley. Every instinct in me shouted that it would be a really bad idea, first off I didn’t know the place, and if I just ran I could very well get lost.

But the grip on my shoulder was worse than anything I could’ve imagined at the moment.

“You’re a pretty little thing aren’t ya.” Another man came in and slid his hands across my cheek before covering my mouth.

His breath smelled of alcohol and smoke. It made me gag.

“I’ve got some great ideas on what I can do with you.” He snickered and dropped his other hand lower onto my chest. I gasped in fear.

No, this isn’t happening.

They pushed me further into the alley, away from prying eyes, and into to the shadows. The man started to grope my waist and hips.

This isn’t happening!

I wanted to fight back, wanted to bite his hand and shout, but my body was frozen. I was in shock. My inner voice was yelling at me to do something, to do anything! But fear clasped me tight and hard.

Then he forced his dirt calloused hand under my shirt and touched my breast.

That snapped me out of it.

With a sense of need to survive I dug my elbow into the man who was holding me and shoved the one in front with as much force as I could muster, exactly how dad taught me. They grunted in pain, and their hold on me lifted. I bolted down the dimly lit passage as soon as I was free.

But they didn’t stop. They called after me, swearing and cursing slurs as they ran. Their footsteps echoed along the tight alley. How many of them were there? 4?

They chanted along what they were planning on doing with me once they catch me. It was horrible. My throat tightening in disgust. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend how their minds worked. The tears were beginning to fall as every turn I took only lead deeper into the maze.

I kept running, taking quick sharp turns in the hopes to loose them. I refused to go like this. But my heart plummeted as soon as I faced a dead end.

They were all laughing at my demise, taking their time to get to me so the fear really soaked in. They strolled and taunted. Taking out their ropes and knives from their coat pockets.

“This was a really stupid idea...” I whimpered to myself, wiping my wet cheeks furiously as I did.

“No shit.” I instantly recognised the voice. “We really need to stop meeting like this.”

A figure dropped in front of me, clad in familiar colours. I felt my knees go weak and a new wave of tears started to fall. I sobbed in relief.

Robin pulled out his katana and growled at the men.

“Do not touch her.” He spat at them.

“Robin? But isn’t he supposed to be with the Bat?” One of them questioned, but he was outright ignored.

Their leader, the one who groped me, laughed. A loud barking sort of laughter.

“Don’t touch her?” He mimicked. “But I already have. Must say, she’s quite soft.” He leered at me, I could feel him undressing me with his eyes and I instantly clutched my jacket tighter.

“Bastard!” Robin shouted and threw himself into battle.

They didn’t look worried though.

“You’re just a boy!” They yelled at him as they aimed to kill.

It didn’t phase him as he attacked with the same precision as he did before. Their bullets were evaded with his quick movements. I protected my head with my arms and dashed behind a corner full of crates.

“Excuse me.”

I turned to the person next to me.

He offered a smile, and I noticed his feet weren’t touching the ground. He was hovering over the air.

“Quit stalling Superboy!” Robin grunted. “Take her someplace safe!”

“You heard him.” He told me, and carried me bridal style before flying away.

I clutched on to him as the ground became further and further away.

“Wait — what about Robin?” My voice sounded weak but I didn’t want to just leave him behind.

Superboy looked at me and grinned. “He’ll be okay.”

He set me down on the roof of a building just above the fight.

“Can you wait here a moment? We’ll be right back.”

He looked a few years older, dressed in his father’s colors and symbol proudly plastered on the middle of his chest.

I managed a small nod before he zipped back down and joined the fight. With a bit more courage I peered down and watched as they bravely fought the men. Superboy withheld from using his lasers too much, I suppose since they were in such an enclosed space. Robin on the other hand looked like he was putting everything he had out there.

It ended quite fast, with the men tied up in a rope. Robin seemed to be talking to Superboy, the metahuman nodded once and pointed up where I was standing. I quickly looked away and walked back.

A grappling hook shot up before hooking itself to the side of the building. Robin swung forward and landed gracefully in front of me. He looked angry.

I tried not to look at him straight in the eye, hoping to make myself smaller.

“Did they hurt you?” He asked, his voice filled with concern but still laced with a little venom.

I bit my bottom lip to keep it from quivering, I felt so ashamed, and so used. I felt dirty.

“He touched me...” I chocked out, trying to keep the tears at bay and failing.

Robin clenched his fists.

“What were you doing outside at this hour?”

“I - I just wanted to take a walk. I didn’t - it wasn’t -“ I was shaking. All I wanted to do was go back home and hide under my covers.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. I heard him walk up to me and hold my chin, turning it towards him as he wiped the tears.

“Stop crying.” He said. “You’re safe now.”

Not being able to help it, I threw my arms around him and hugged him tight. I wasn’t an overly physical type of person but I needed something solid, something safe, to clutch on to after what just happened. I wished my mom was here, but then I also didn’t since all this would do would only worry her more. I dreaded the fact that I needed to tell her what happened. But for now I just breathed in and out, trying to calm myself. Robins arms slowly encircled me, and he patted my shoulder awkwardly.

Wait — this smell…

Arabian oud.

I tensed, and pushed back. Robin looked a little confused at the suddenly change but loosened the hug.

My heart started to race as I looked up at his face. No way, there has to be hundreds with the same perfume, right? I couldn’t, or rather didn’t want to believe it. Was it really him under this mask? I wish I could give myself an answer but I was terrified of what I would find if I looked. I was both mad yet relieved that I didn’t look too closely at his face during dinner or else it might be too easy to pick apart his features. The mask only hid so much. I must’ve been eyeing him for too long because Robin gave me a questioning look.

“I -“ I quickly put a slight distance between us and cleared my throat, hoping the heat on my cheeks would cool down, and my head to stop spinning. “Sorry, and thank you! I... probably should get back.” I finished lamely.

The time it took us to get from where we were to the hotel was filled with silence. I made sure not to make eye contact for too long and when I had to I made sure to ignore everything else. I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to piece the puzzle together... It felt risky. I thanked him again, and asked him to thank Superboy.

Sneaking back into my room was a lot more difficult that sneaking out. Thankfully my roommate and I had separate keys so going in was a breeze. She was already asleep when I got there much to my relief. I headed straight to the shower, eager to scrub off the mans filthy hold on me. I grimaced as I caught my reflection in the mirror, my skin was bright red from all the scrubbing and my eyes were puffy. I sniffed and looked away.

I didn’t sleep that night, not well anyway, but that was to be expected.

...

...

... to be continued ...

#dc #dc comics #batman #son of batman #damian wayne #Damian Wayne x Reader #fanfiction #my fanfiction #robin #superboy #superman #lex luthor #metropolis #Soulmate AU #My Fan Fiction

[utterlyinevitable]

Trials & Tribulations (CH. 4)

Me Without You

Chapter 1: Afterwards Chapter 2: The Next 4 Days Chapter 3: It All Falls Down

Love Interests: Ethan Ramsey, Bryce Lahela Word Count: 3.3k Warning: angst, adult themes, possible destructive mental health triggers Summary: Have you ever been so out of touch with your emotions that you constantly make choices? Yeah… That’s what Becca’s doing.

________________________________________ 

For almost two weeks Becca left him texts and voicemails at various times of the day - anything she could think of to reach him. She needed an explanation. Things were good, she thought. Why would he up and leave without saying a word? Weren’t they in a better place now? Why did he go? 

They’d slept together a few days ago, breaking down every sacred barrier of professionalism they’ve erected since Miami. It was an initial shock for them to be on the same team come the fall but they could work though it. They were stronger than this. They’ve been through so many secrets together how could they not? 

By day 9 Becca had long left the shock of abandonment behind and just needed to hear his voice, rationale be damned. His voicemail lulled her to sleep most nights when Rafael couldn’t come over to help numb the pain. The short curt message was so distinctly him; 

“Dr. Ethan Ramsey. Leave a voicemail or call 911 if it’s an emergency.” 

She’d always hung up right before the beep. Becca was embarrassed by how many times she called each day yet was more embarrassed to have him hear the desperation in her voice. As silly as she felt, it’s like a piece of her had gone missing. Eight weeks was a long time to pine after someone who ran away. More like an entire year… She had him once, why was he pushing her away again? 

After catching him leaving their apartment that fateful morning after her ethics hearing, Elijah and Sienna held onto Becca’s deepest secret. They saw no need to start drama within their group after everything that has happened, especially for one briefly passionate weekend. 

However short-lived, it was the most freeing three days of Rebecca Lao’s life. It felt right, he felt right. Why doesn’t he feel the same way? 

Ugh I can’t keep thinking of him. 

Becca pushed him to the back of her mind every single time he popped into it, forcing herself to focus on her patients and the little distraction known as her friends. Dr. Rebecca Lao was determined to move on, her completely decimated heart be damned. 

***

At 1:12PM on that ninth afternoon Becca snuck back to the locker room and sent him another text, 

Please let me know you’re okay. 

She huffed as she shoved her phone deep into her coat pocket, ready to go on lunch and wallow in her misery. 

For the last seven days Becca hadn’t worn a lick of makeup. She couldn’t bring herself to keep up appearances. Anyone could see the cracks through her painted face, so what’s the point in putting all the effort into it? She wore the bags under her eyes proudly a reminder that, albeit everything, she’s still alive and capable of thriving. Her greasy brown hair was pulled back in a haphazard bun and baby strands flying carelessly around her forehead, she hadn’t felt like washing it in a few days. Her eyes were dull. Nothing really sparked the fire in them anymore. No one was pushing her to reach past her potential anymore. 

I can’t wait to spend all day in bed tomorrow. Maybe I’ll actually take a relaxing bath…  

“Ah, Dr. Lao!” she heard the chipper and lively voice of Naveen call a few feet ahead of her. She looked up from her fixated gaze on the stark white linoleum and to the old doctor bounding happily towards her with his cane. “How are you?”  

“I’m fine, thank you for asking,” she responded trying not to meet his inquisitive eyes. “How have you been?”  

The question was simple enough. It was obligatory small talk in most circles however here and now they held a deeper meaning. Rebecca couldn’t have been the only one taking His departure roughly. 

“Hanging in there,” he told her honestly with newly darkened eyes, and she gave him a sad smile back. Naveen extended an olive branch to the only other person that would understand, “Would you care to join me for lunch?”  

“I’d like that, yeah.” 

“Wonderful,” he beamed “I’ll meet you in the atrium in 15 minutes?”  

Beca forced a small smile, “It’s a date.” 

  Naveen and Becca sat at a table at one of his favorite local Indian restaurants near the hospital. During the fifteen minute drive over, the man raved about the chutney and how the family-run establishment was one of the only ones with a proper heat meter - “not like conservative dishes you’d find at chains”.  

The two pleasantly spoke of their last few days as if they were two lifelong friends despite only knowing one another for a few months. Once the waiter brought over their meals she finally let herself ask the question causing hives at the back of her neck, “Have you heard from him?” 

Naveen moved the rice around his plate to mix with his lamb curry and took a deep breath; he knew this was coming. 

“He sent me an email once he got there,” he said as evenly as he could manage. “I’m sure he’s fine. Ethan’s tough.” Naveen wished he could ease the woes he’s seen pass the young resident’s features ever since that day of the announcement. But his loyalty towards his makeshift son outweighed conflict in his heart. There was a reason Ethan didn’t tell her and I must respect it. However misplaced. With a slight smile he tried to reassure her instead, “Surely enough, no matter his rank, he would have taken control and whipped everyone into shape. He’ll be back home to us soon enough.” 

Email? She didn’t think of that… God, He is an old man.  

Her attention was fixed on the salad in front of her, pushing the leaves one over the other. “I jus -” There were so many questions she needed answers to. If anyone knew Him well enough to help her speculate his motives it would be his most dearest friend. Her voice was small as she continued, “Why didn’t he tell me?” It took a lot of strength to keep her voice from cracking. 

Her stormy eyes finally lifted to meet warm brown. The deep marks of age on his dark brown features arched downwards in sympathy. He set his fork down by his plate and dabbed the corners of his mouth, preparing to ease the mind of this doleful girl. 

“He told me he applied the moment he quit but didn’t expect to hear back. It was a wishful thought; he never would be able to stay retired long. We have that in common, him and I. As for why he didn’t tell you I can only speculate.” The older doctor tried to keep his features impartial and failed. “The boy has a one track mind sometimes; when he puts his mind to it nothing will stop him until he’s reached the desired outcome.” 

She’s seen Him exhibit that kind of behavior before and gave Naveen a sad smile back in recognition. 

Naveen reached across the table to cover her hand with his. “He’s been through a lot in life and hasn’t always been the best with feelings. But when you know him long enough, and get to know his expressions, it’s easy to see something...” the Chief of Medicine chose his words carefully, “intimate has become of you two.” 

Normally Becca would have scoffed at the insinuation, but now she just couldn’t bring herself to react. Naveen’s words were settling in - she knew He had scars from his childhood that he didn’t dare talk about. She knew He was closed off and an acquired taste. And she knew Naveen was half-right. 

Sadly she replied, “I don’t think there’s anything between us.”  

Naveen didn’t want to argue, he could see through the broken girl in front of him and his heart ached for them both. 

Rightfully he changed the subject, “Are you working on any exciting cases?” 

“Not as exciting as they are unfortunate,” she shrugged, picking at the salad. “I have a young girl with leukemia and a patient on dialysis with pneumonia. I’m not sure either of them will pull through.”  

“If you need any help, I’m only a page away.” His gaze cascaded a sense of comforting warmth over her. “You’re not just my grandmentee, you’re family.” 

She was happy to have Naveen in her corner but couldn’t help wondering if the offer was conditionally tied to him. 

“Thank you.”  

“Thank you for joining me,” Naveen acknowledged, “I say we make this a routine thing!” 

For the first time in a long time the corners of her lips perked up, “I’d like that.” 

That evening she sent him an email;  

Hey, 

I know you’re kicking ass down there (you know I mean the outbreak, please don’t punch anyone!), but I hope you’re being safe. I had lunch with Naveen today, he’s really worried about you. We miss you. Please please please let us know you’re okay. I’m still mad at you for leaving but I’ll forgive you if you just please talk to me. If I did something wrong, I’m sorry. I just want to know that you’re alive and well. Even if you don’t want to talk to me, please keep Naveen updated. 

See you soon, 

R x 

***

“Roo-mie Bar Crawl. Roo-mie Bar Crawl.” Sienna chanted from the middle of their living room. The gang was all dressed up and ready to let loose after a really harrowing week on the job.  

Becca hadn’t contacted Him since that first and last email three days ago. She made her peace with it. After days of trying, a deep conversation with Naveen, and receiving absolutely nothing in return for her efforts, she settled on the assumption that He was ghosting her. Her heart ached but she didn’t want to let the heartbreak consume her. Instead she’d find other distractions. 

Those distractions came in the form of Rafael, Bryce, and Sienna. Each friend mended a different part of her tattered heart. Sienna took care of her by way of baked goods, forcing her to talk about her feelings and retail therapy - Becca needed a bit of mothering in these last few days, especially since she didn’t have a close relationship with her birth mother. Bryce was her feel-good companion, he’d take her out for a drink or an excursion, anything he could possibly do to have her smile reach her eyes once again. Lastly, Rafael helped take care of her intimately - although he’s been M.I.A. the last week… 

The group congregated in their shared living room, ready to go. Becca sat on the sofa next to Bryce as he helped lace up her heels. Sienna chanted once again and everyone cheered a response. Once more Elijah listed off items and everyone patted their pockets and their bags. Phone? Check. Wallet? Check. ID? Check.

“Is Raf not coming?” Becca asked as they paraded through the hallway.  

“No, he’s got plans with his girlfriend,” Jackie said matter-of-factly.  

Becca's footsteps fell behind her friend ever so slightly. What!? 

“Really? When’d that happen?” 

Jackie retorted like it wasn’t the most important bit of information, “I don’t know, recently?”  

“She’s his childhood sweetheart,” Kyra piped in. “Just moved back and they’ve been on a few dates. Very romantic.” 

Becca bit her lip, “Yeah… good for them.”  

There were so many questions racing through her mind. They had just slept together for the fifth and seemingly final time less than 2 weeks ago. Was Becca the other woman? No matter the questions there’s just one thing Becca couldn’t shake; 

I’ve gone and thrown myself at another man who doesn’t want me. 

She was determined to have a good time regardless of the mountain of rejection forming at her core. Good thing alcohol’s the best medicine… She was prepared to spend the next few hours looming in her chaos, choosing reckless behavior instead of facing her feelings. 

***

The group pregamed at Donohues for happy hour, choosing to spend their most coherent of hours in a familiar place. They downed 2-for-1 tequila shots each and played a round of darts until the board began to move. Becca did all she could to keep from staring at the empty far corner of the bar. Every time she did she took another shot.  

Then the residents made their way to a dive bar for cheap drinks. It was a small hole-in-the-wall place with not enough space for the large group. Bryce and Kyra went in to grab the first and only round bringing it out to the side of the building where everyone else was waiting. The sun had now fully set and the group was getting cold. To warm up Jackie suggested they chugged.  

Fifteen minutes later they ended up at a sports bar and grabbed some quick grub. Elijah was drawn to the TV playing a game Becca couldn’t care less about. Her and Bryce shared a plate of nachos and a double cheeseburger with onion rings. Sienna gave a side eye at how close her two friends were becoming. After the third bar the group started to fan out, Aurora and Kyra headed home needing a solid seven hours of sleep to be functional. 

Feeling the buzz and forgetting about Raf, they powered on! On their way to the club the group passed an Irish pub with music blasting. They accepted the inevitable detour and danced in the middle of the floor to the house fiddle band. Everyone had one drink before Sienna, Jackie and Elijah bowed out afterwards overcome with exhaustion. 

The last two troops gave one another a devious smirk and headed to the club arm in arm. 

Bryce and Becca held off on drinks feeling full of life from the last few rounds and put off by the elite pricing. He grabbed her hand and led her onto the technicolor floor. They danced and danced to song after song. Occasionally she’d turn around and he'd hold her flush to his chest. The sensation releasing copious amounts of serotonin and oxytocin. 

At one point she was sandwiched between Bryce and another hopeless stranger. It seemed the two men wanted to outlast the other. She found the determined glimmer in her friend’s eye so amusing. Becca turned away from the poor stranger and back to Bryce, the two men calling a silent truce. He raised his eyebrows and she mouthed “stay”. He moved in closer and kissed her temple causing the nameless hopeful to storm away. 

They stayed. They danced. They drank. 

Bryce leaned over to speak into her ear, “That guys totally checking you out.” 

She cocked her head to see a dark skinned stranger in well-tailored clothes eyeing them. 

“Maybe he’s checking you out,” she sneered.  

Bryce’s contagious and magnificent smile lit up his face, “He’s definitely trying to figure out if we’re together.” 

She made a show of rolling her eyes.  

Pointing over his shoulder he said, “I’m gonna go get us another round.” 

The mystery stranger used that as an opportunity. 

“Hey,” his tenor voice smooth and unconflicted. 

The stranger wasn’t much taller than Becca. He had dark olive skin, enchanting amber eyes, a buzz cut which is so different from her type - she liked a man with locks she could latch on to. His shallow beard accented his chiseled jaw. He wore a navy blue v-neck that drew the attention to the defined muscles beneath. He was a small man compared to those she surrounded herself with, and was a stark contrast to what she was attracted to. And maybe, just maybe he could help her forget for a minute. 

“Hey,” Becca said back, scanning the crowd over the man’s shoulder for Bryce’s return. 

Before she knew it she was bumped in the back and tumbling towards the handsome stranger. Bryce was the culprit walking hand in hand with another girl he picked up at the bar as he shot his friend an encouraging wink.

The stranger nodded over to Bryce’s retreating form, “Looks like you’ve been dumped.”  

“I’ve been abandoned by my friend,” she clarified. Becca’s eyes locked with the olive strangers and shrugged, “Guess I’m in the market for some company.”  

He raised his eyebrows and they both moved to close the distance, letting the air around them take control. His thin hand moved to her waist while one of hers laid to rest on his taut forearm. They moved in unison. She kissed the stranger fiercely for what felt like hours in the middle of the club, their tongues battling for dominance. His left hand trailed up to her hair and the right settled on the skin at the small of her back to keep her flush to him. When they came up for air he asked Becca to go home with him. 

Without hesitation she said she’d meet him at the bar in five. 

Sitting in the dirty bathroom she couldn’t believe what she was doing. She was intoxicated, alone and willing to go home with just about anyone that would give her the time of day? No. She was stronger than this. She shouldn’t succumb to this. She wasn’t desperate enough to do this.

But the alcohol took over. 

She regretted the decision immediately. 

After all this time she never expected a response. 

First with a text, Are you ok? 

Why now? She thought as she stood in the dingy bathroom watching the notification flash over her lockscreen.

She fled. 

Becca shoved her phone deep in her pocket and retreated back to the commotion as fast she could. She scanned the room briefly looking for Bryce but spotted the stranger moving onto his next conquest. She reached the base of the stairs, her phone incessantly vibrating. She pulled it out to see the same message sent a second time. Against her better judgment she typed back;  

Not at all. 

Within seconds, flashing across the phone screen was the name she longed for. 

Incoming: Ethan Ramsey 

She didn’t have a chance to say anything as she made her way outdoors before he asked in a low and stoic voice, “Where are you?” 

“Where are you?” 

“Rebecca…”  

She wanted to hang up so badly. But his voice… How she missed his voice. And he was there. He sees her messages - he called because he cares. Well that’s what she told herself. Why else would he finally respond after all these days?  

Her words were caught in her throat - she had so many things she wanted to say to him - to ask him, but nothing came out. She was rendered mute between the embarrassment and opportunity. 

“Becca are you still there?” 

She had to open and close her mouth a few times before the words manifested on her tongue. “Right where… you left me,” she whispered more to herself than anything. 

He left. He left me. 

The two ex-lovers were silent, the load of everything she’s had to bottle up finally taking its toll and Becca started to sob. All of the feelings she’d tried to box away and shrug off came crashing down. Ethan Ramsey broke her heart. He let her into his world outside of Edenbrook and vice versa. She let herself fall for him and it became detrimental, a derailment to every hope she started residency with. 

Another person she considered close had betrayed her. 

Another man had disappointed and abandoned her. 

Becca never talked much about her past, gently refusing to confront the heartache her father caused her, what Landry had done to her, how Rafael avoided her and how her idol, her mentor and lover abandoned her. The culmination broke her. 

She dropped to the curb, her vision impared by her tears. She let her face fall in her left hand and clutched the phone in her right to her ear. One word kept running through her mind as she completely fell apart on a dim Boston street at an ungodly hour of the evening, praying that the son-of-a-bitch on the other end of the line would put her at ease; 

Pathetic. 

“Bec-” 

She hung up the phone.

________________________________________

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#open heart #open heart fanfic #choices open heart #choices fanfic #choices oph2 #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey x mc #bryce lahela x mc #bryce lahela #oph #oph ff #ff

[x-reader-theater]

Take a Chance, for the Nights are Short {2}

Relationship: Geralt of Rivia X Male!Reader

Summary: There’s something to be said about talking with your travel mates. Too bad Geralt isn’t saying much. 

Warnings: Cursing

Word Count: 1,109 words

A/N: Hey there again! So I decided that I would upload all these one day after another because a. there’s little to no Geralt x Male!Reader fics out there and b. I know I’m going to forget to upload them after a few weeks, so I’m just doing it now. The second story is underway, and it won’t come out the day after the fourth chapter of this comes out (that’s how many chapters there are), and maybe not even a week but I really like this series and I have so many ideas for this, hopefully, trilogy. Please like, reblog, and let me know what you thought! Now, without further ado, Take a Chance, for the Nights are Short; Chapter 2.

Chapter: [1] [2] [3] [4]

Chapter 2: Rivia's too Nice for the Likes of You

You're walking through the woods with your new Witcher friend. Well, friend isn't the right word. Forced acquaintance is more apt for your current situation. 

"What's your name, anyways?" You turn to your traveling companion, who is riding beside you on his horse. 

"Geralt. Of Rivia," he grumbles out. He was friendlier a few hours ago, when he didn't realize the Jeweled lake was further than he thought. You on the other hand had taken his playful persona and donned it as your own. 

"Are you even from Rivia? Because I am, and you don't seem like the kind of person who would be from there," you explain, all but forgetting about your fear of the man. He looks over at you and frowns. "I mean you're so… well, you're so mean! I've never known anyone from Rivia to be this mean!" He goes to open his mouth to speak, but you interrupt him. "But I mean, I've also read that Witchers would choose a name, to seem more trusting to those they came across. Did you choose that name, Geralt of Rivia? Or are you actually from there? You know I read-" 

"You read a lot for a would be knight," Geralt growls out in frustration. "Maybe you should become a librarian instead." 

"Yeah well, you see, I tried that-" you lean over on your horse so you're closer towards him as you whisper, "That's where I read all the books-" you lean back so you're sitting upright in your horse once again, "And After I read every book in the library I got bored and wanted to do something exciting. I read a book from a poet while I was working in the library about knights and being a knight and I thought, 'how amazing would it be to become a knight and go on all these quests,' so I took the Knight's test and here I am!" You throw your arms out wide and grin at Geralt from underneath your helmet. You know he can't see it, but he'll hear it in your voice. "Well, I didn't just take it once, I took it about 500 times. Well, 497 to be precise. Every single day for almost two years." 

Geralt has his eyebrows raised again. "You've taken the Knight's test 500-"

"-497-"

"-times and they still let you in?" 

You stutter over your words, "Well-well not exactly. I'm still not in." You squint your eyes and say, determined, "But I'm going to slay this monster, and the queen will have to let me become a knight! She said so herself!" 

Geralt chuckles. You move your horse so you're riding right next to Geralt, and you lean over, sticking out your left hand to shake. You have to reach all the way across Jennis, and your body is twisted in such a way you can feel your plate armour digging into your side. "I never introduced myself. I'm Sir [Y/N]. Well, not sir yet-" Geralt shakes your hand. "But I will be soon!" You pull your hand back and turn to face the road once again. 

It's silent for a moment. You don't like silence. 

"So, is it true Witchers can do magic?" 

Geralt chuckles at you and he clicks his tongue and his horse speeds up, cantering away from you. 

"Hey! Wait!" Your heels clink on the side of your horse, and you go to catch up with him. 

--

The Jeweled Lake is about as beautiful as you thought it would be, which is to say, not beautiful at all. Maybe when it was first named it was beautiful, but you don't know how this algae-covered, glorified pond could ever be considered beautiful. You look up at the sun and see it setting, and turn to face towards the setting sun. 

"We should camp here. It'll be easier to fight during the day," Geralt says and you nod. 

"Good idea. I'm tired anyways." You slide off Jennis, the clink of your armour as you hit the ground is the only sound in the entire valley. You shiver at that. You hate the silence. 

You unhook your bedroll from your horse and lay it out as Geralt starts building a fire. You take out a few pieces of dried and salted meat from your pack and hand one to the Witcher in front of you. When he doesn't take it, doesn't even look at it, you push it further for him. "Take it. You need to eat." He grunts and grabs the meat, placing it between his teeth. "I killed that myself you know." 

He looks up at you for a moment before going back to work. "Since when were you a hunter?" Geralt asks through a teethful of dried meat. 

You stuff the meat into your mouth and start peeling out of your armour. Your sword and sheath clatter to the ground first. "That was before-" Chew, "the librarian." Chew, "And then before that-" Chew, "was the jailer. That only lasted a day." Chew, "And before that, I was a Tanner's apprentice. He got hanged though after a week of me working there." Chew, "And before that-" Swallow, "I think it was a shoemaker? I'm not entirely sure. It kind of all blurs together before the Tanner." Your last piece of armour falls to the ground with a soft clunk, and you look up at Geralt who's got a heavy eyebrow raised. You take off your helmet and drop it onto the ground unceremoniously. Your chainmail is next, and at long last you finally take off your silken shirt and fold it neatly, placing it on the haphazard pile, like a cherry on top of a shit pile. 

"That's a lot of armour for someone who's not a knight," Geralt says, sitting back on the ground in front of the fire. 

You shrug and join him, sitting on your bedroll instead of the soft ground."I made quite a bit of coin when I was working as a Tanner. There were a lot of people who needed leather for their goods, and I didn't really have a place to live, so I never needed to pay anyone for living." You run your fingers through your hair and shake your head. "I'll need to cut my hair soon…" you mumble to yourself. 

Geralt mutters to himself too, but you can't quite hear him. You lay down on your bedroll, letting the crackling sound of the fire lull you to sleep. "

"Good night, Geralt of the Witchers…" You have no idea if Geralt heard you.

#the witcher #witcher #witcher geralt #geralt of rivia #geralt #geralt x reader #geralt x male reader #male reader #geralt of rivia x male reader #geralt x you #geralt of rivia x reader #geralt of rivia x male!reader #geralt of rivia x you #my work #My writing #geralt of the witchers

[detectivecarlosreyes]

Series: Part 2 of Hidden Truths  / Link to Part 1: The Secrets We Keep

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Chapter summary:

It's official Eddie and Buck are dating but they aren't ready to tell anyone just yet, too bad the team had other plans for them.

read under the cut

After the events of that morning, Buck had migrated from his bedroom to sleeping in Eddie’s bed, it seemed only natural for him to do so. And Eddie was right, it was far easier to sleep against the threat of nightmares when there was someone sleeping next to you, especially when their body is snuggled up against yours and they were holding you close.

Now when he went to sleep he had an arm wrapped around his torso anchoring him in the present and allowing him to experience the memory without being immersed in it. If he focused on it, Buck was able to pull himself out of the dream and when he did, he took comfort in taking hold of Eddie’s hand, holding it close to his chest.

Sometimes he would wake to their positions reversed, and in those cases Buck would bury his face into Eddie’s back, placing a hand over his heart. He learned pretty quickly the steady rhythm of Eddie’s heartbeat settled his own.

And in both instances, Eddie would stir and press himself closer, sleepily planting a kiss on his body if the opportunity presented before going back to sleep. It was safe to say the nightmares were less aggressive and were dying off again now that he had Eddie there as a reminder that he wasn’t alone with the memories anymore.

During the day, their life had become even more domestic than it was before. They told Christopher almost immediately, knowing that there was no point in hiding it from him with them all living under the same roof. He seemed pretty excited about it, commenting that “Bucky won’t have to find a new place now!” And then went on with his day, pleased with the prospects of having his Buck living with them forever.

Buck was also pleased knowing that didn’t have to withhold from his desire to be close to Eddie anymore. Now he got to hug him from behind when he was brushing his teeth, he was now allowed to lean against Eddie when they had movie nights without it being weird, and he could pepper him with kisses him whenever he wanted. It was a whole new dimension to their relationship and all of it was so easy to fall into.

Eddie seemed to thrive off the close contact too and gave as much as he got. Pressing himself up against Buck and dropping a kiss on his shoulder as he peered around him to see what he had cooked, absentmindedly trailing his fingers along Buck’s arms or shoulders when they inevitably sat leaning against each other on the couch to watch tv, or just planting a chaste kiss to his cheek when Buck would hand him his morning coffee before they left for work.

It was familiar and comfortable, and gave Buck the feeling of home, exactly what he had been searching for but had seemed just out of his reach.

Surprisingly, their work-life hadn’t seemed to change much since they’d become boyfriends. They were already protective of each other as partners as it was, now it was just dialed up a little higher. No one seemed to notice the difference in their attentiveness towards each other, and they supposed that was a blessing because they were still figuring things out and taking things slow and didn’t want the scrutiny that would be sure to follow that announcement.

Unfortunately for them, the way the team found out about them, however, was far from how they expected to bring it up. Namely, because it happened only two weeks after that first kiss.

It was at one of their monthly afternoon team gatherings at the Grant-Nash household, having everyone come together with their families on of their day’s off. It was always nice to see each other in a relaxed setting and catching up with the family members they wouldn’t often see outside these gatherings.

Buck, Eddie, and Christopher had all come in the same truck, it would have seemed impractical if they didn’t when they were all coming from the same house. They shared a fleeting kiss at the door before entering, finding everyone gathered out in the backyard, relaxing on the deck while the kids played out in the grass.

Greeting everyone, Buck migrated towards the cooler and picked out a drink for him and Eddie, taking off both the caps before sidling up to Eddie, who had just started talking to Karen and pressed one of the bottles into his hand with a light pat to the shoulder. Instinctively taking hold of it, Eddie brought it up to his lips without looking at it, keeping focused on Karen who was updating him on how things were going with Nia.

Buck left him to it and moved to sit beside his sister who seemed to be having a quiet moment, half-listening to Chim, Hen, and Athena sharing stories of their most disastrous cooking attempts. As soon as he took his seat she leaned into him looking mischievous as she eyed Eddie.

“You look happy little brother. That wouldn’t have something to do with you arriving with the Diaz boys would it?” She asked, murmuring to him quietly, being sure that the others didn’t overhear.

Buck had to suppress a grin by pursing his lips, but that did nothing to stop the smile from reaching his eyes. He turned his head, close to her ear, keeping his voice low but his words light, “They might have something to do with it.”

She took in his expression, reading between the lines and let out a minute gasp. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

He nodded, ducking his head to hide his warming cheeks. “We haven’t told anyone yet and we hoped to keep it that way for a little while longer.” He gave her a meaningful look.

“My lips are sealed. I promise.” She said smiling at him in delight. “I’m happy it worked out.”

Buck looked across at Eddie on the other side of the deck, “Me too Mads.”

** ** ** ** ** **

With their bellies full and bathed in the lazy afternoon sunshine, all the adults had drifted into one group blending their conversations until they became one as they claimed their spots on the outdoor furniture.

The kids had disappeared inside some time ago and Eddie had kindly offered to check on them to see if they needed anything. Now Buck wished he came back sooner because he’s not sure he was liking the direction of the current topic, making him the subject of everyone’s attention.

“Buck, what been up with you lately, it’s been a while since you’ve talked about dating. What happened? Did somebody lock you down and you’ve just been hiding her from us?” Bobby asked good-naturedly when there was a lull in the conversation.

Buck leaned back into the sofa cushion, nursing his beer. “Ah nope, I’m happy with where I’m at right now.”

“Ooh yeah, let’s get you back into the dating scene. A guy like you shouldn’t be single for this long.” Remarked Hen.

“I know of a couple of singles ladies at the precinct who you might like to meet.” Piped in Athena offhandedly as she raised her wineglass, “I’d be happy to put in a good word.”

Realising that he had been unconsciously scratching his thumb against the paper label of his beer, Buck set it down by his foot, not wanting anyone to see his nervous habit. “While I appreciate your concern, I am more than capable of finding a date on my own.”

Chim wasn’t ready to give up that easily as he chimed in with, “Aw come on Buck, let us set you up with someone-.”

As much as he loves this group of people, they did have a tendency every so often to get attached to an idea, turning into a snowball effect when they all start piling onto each other’s thoughts. And to his dismay, it seemed his efforts to stop them were falling on deaf ears.

“I’d really rather you didn’t.”

At that point, Eddie had reappeared and Buck could see him out of the corner of his eye as he took in the scene before him before slotting himself in the last available spot next to Buck. As Buck continued to push back against the idea of being set up with a random woman, he felt Eddie’s hand slowly slide into his before pulling it onto his lap.

Feeling calmer from that action alone, Buck relaxed slightly into the sofa until he realised what Eddie had just done. Sitting upright again, Buck turned to look at him asking the unspoken question. The answer he got from Eddie came in the form of a small smile and the barest of nods with his thumb rubbing his knuckles comfortingly.

“Uhh, hold up.” Karen who had been quietly observing them up until this point held up a finger interrupting whatever Chim had started to say before gesturing at their linked hands drawing everyone’s attention who at this point hadn’t yet noticed, “What’s going on with this. Am I missing something here?”

“I- uh, well, we-“

“Wait, are you guys together? Like together, together?” interrupted Chim, confusion written all over his face.

“Uh, yes?” Buck looked to Eddie for confirmation, who didn’t say anything, instead bringing their joined hands to his lips and kissing the back of Buck’s hand.

“Yeah...” Buck exhaled, lost for a moment in Eddie’s eyes until Eddie cleared his voice, indicating with his eyes that the others were waiting for him to elaborate.  

Shaking himself out of his lovestruck stupor over the simple tender act, Buck turned his attention back to all the equally surprised and questioning faces staring back at them and opened his mouth before Eddie beat him to the punch. “Yeah, Buck and I are dating.”

The reaction was instantaneous with everyone talking over the top of one another.

“You guys are dating?!” “How did this happen?” “I didn’t know you were attracted to guys?!?”  “Is that why Buck hasn’t found a new place yet?” “How long has this been going on?”

“Guys, jeez one at a time please!” Buck raised his voice over the cacophony, feeling slightly overwhelmed with the number of voices speaking at once. Thankfully it worked like a charm because everyone was quick to quieten down looking at him expectantly.

“This was not how I or Eddie pictured us announcing our relationship to you, but yes, Eddie and I are dating, and have been for about two weeks.”

Hen raised her hand, “I’m probably not the only one thinking this, and please don’t take this the wrong way but I didn’t know either of you were attracted to guys. Is this something new, or have we just been completely oblivious?”

Buck looked to Eddie before answering. “I’m not going to speak for Eddie, but personally, I’ve known this for quite some time from back in my teenage years. There was a period of time that I wasn’t proud of my sexuality.” He sighed and bit his lip, “So when I joined the 118 I chose not to openly announce my bisexuality, but I also didn’t keep it a secret either. I dated a couple of guys in my 1.0 phase and when I talked about them I didn’t use pronouns. I just let you guys assume what you wanted, which, just so you know, I was totally fine with.”

There were a few contemplative nods, and Buck could see each member of their team internally replaying those moments, while the others turned their attention to Eddie. Probably unconsciously, Eddie had tightened his grip at the attention, so Buck leaned into him and whispered into his ear, “You don’t have to tell them if you’re not ready.”

“No, it’s alright. I made my choice when I took your hand. I’m just nervous.” Eddie murmured back under his breath.

Buck shifted so that his body angled towards Eddie, giving him his undivided attention. “You can tell them as little or as much as you want, they’ll accept anything you’re willing to offer.”  He gathered up Eddie’s hand, encompassing it between both of his and brush his lips against his knuckles before settling them back in his lap.  

Buck watched him as he did this, seeing Eddie close his eyes and taking in a slow calming breath and relaxing his grip before opening them to address everyone else who had been patiently watching their inaudible exchange with looks of fondness.

“I’m going to start by saying that I’m not very good at reading relationships. It takes me a long time to know whether the love I have for someone is purely friendship or could be interpreted as something more.” Eddie paused, clearing his throat, “Yes, I had a wife and we had Christopher, but there was no one before or after her because I never felt the attraction towards anyone else.”

He sucked in a deep breath and continued in a rush. “It takes a lot of familiarity and or a deep emotional bond for me to really know for sure and I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m demisexual and up until about two weeks ago, I didn’t know that I was into guys either.”

There was a long pregnant pause after Eddie’s speech and up until this point Buck had only been watching his face. Buck turned to look at the others to gauge their reactions at both of their confessions and the best he could describe is that they were all looking at them and each other in various degrees of fondness and pride.

Finally, it was Athena who broke the spell as she cleared her throat. “I think I speak for all of us when I say thank you for trusting us with this and we are so happy for you both.”

The rest of the group followed suit echoing Athena’s sentiments in a chorus of appreciation and word of thanks, and those closest to them reached out to pat their shoulders or give their knees a squeeze in support and gratitude of their trust.

Michael, who had been the quietest of the group since the team had started coercing Buck into being set up on a blind date, got up from his seat and moved purposefully to stand in front of them.

Buck had always liked Michael from the moment that they met, despite the fact that they weren’t exactly close. So, he was surprised to see the man sporting the widest of smiles as he reached down to pull them both from their seat and into his arms.

It was firm and warm, and so fatherly that Buck all but melted into it. Peeking around Michael’s back he could hazard a guess that Eddie felt the same way with the way his forehead was pressed into Michael’s shoulder and arm pressed tightly against his back.

And then Michael spoke, loud enough that they could both hear him but intimately quietly enough that no one would overhear, “My door will always be open to you both, should you ever need it.”

“Thank you Michael, you have no idea how much that means to us.” Mumbled Buck, doing his best to hold back happy tears at such a familial reaction from Michael.

As if on cue, all at once everyone stood up and joined their small huddle transforming it into a huge group hug. It was awkward and squishy with so many bodies pressed up against each other, and yet it was so comforting to know that that the family he chose accepted him and Eddie as easily as he hoped they would.

After enough laughing and more love and words of pride sent their way, the group broke apart with each person sporting a glowing smile as they all retook their seats, falling back into light-hearted chatter. Maddie caught his eye, with eyes twinkling as she mouthed to him “proud of you.”

And he answered in kind with a simple “love you.”

After some time, its Chim who caught everyone’s attention bringing up a very important question. “Did we have a bet on this?” he asked gesturing towards Buck and Eddie who had been leaning into each other, quietly letting the chatter wash over them as they took it all in together.

Bobby chuckled at Chim, “I think we had one for how long it would take for Buck to find a new place, but I’m pretty sure that we didn’t have anything on them becoming a couple.”

“Seriously? You guys had a bet on me!” Buck exclaimed, feeling somewhat offended.

Hen shrugged her shoulders, “Honestly, considering how many bets we’ve had over the years, you shouldn’t be so surprised.”

Beside him, Eddie laughed at their antics, “Well whoever bet the longest should get the money because Buck will be staying with me for the foreseeable future,” Eddie announced before looking uncertainly at Buck, “if he wants to that is.”

“For as long as you’ll have me,” Buck answered with a grin before cupping his cheek and gently touching his lips to Eddie’s in the briefest of kisses, not wanting to be that kind of couple with excessive PDA.

Nonetheless, there were still cheers and wolf whistles directed at them, and when they parted they discovered Karen collecting her reward. Noticing their gazes on her she shrugged at them with a smug smile, “What? Just because I’m not in the firehouse doesn’t mean I can’t be part of the bets.”

Buck grinned back at her, pleased that she at least won a decent amount from his inability to leave the Diaz household.

** ** ** ** ** **

It was late afternoon when the families started heading home, bidding their farewells and taking home leftover food that Bobby and Athena insisted they take lest the fridge would overflow.

Soon enough, Buck, Eddie, and Chris had made back to their place and settled in for the evening, feeling pleasantly drained from being out for the day and keen to just relax on the couch together, still full from the afternoon of eating.

As much as he wanted to relax, Eddie found himself locked in a daze, now that the reality of the events of the afternoon had caught up with him. He had not only come out to his close circle of friends in one go but also announced that he had a boyfriend who happened to be his best friend; both things he never thought would ever happen.

Never before had he felt so exposed and yet so relieved at revealing so much about himself. He’s thankful that the team and their families are such wonderful and accepting people, but it could have gone completely differently if they weren’t. So much and so little has changed that Eddie is at loss, feeling both mentally and emotionally drained over that conflicting notion.

He could tell Buck was worried from the glances he kept catching out of the corner of his eye while he stared mindlessly at the tv. Thankfully, Buck let him be, instead carrying the conversation with Christopher for the evening until it was his bedtime. And while Buck tucked Christopher in for the night, Eddie found himself staring off into space holding an untouched full glass of water by the kitchen sink.

Its Buck’s voice that breaks through his thoughts, “You doing okay?” He asked softly, slipping his arms around his waist as he dipped his head down to pepper butterfly kisses along his shoulder before touching his cheek to Eddie’s temple as he slowly swayed them side to side.

Eddie couldn’t help by smile at Buck’s gentle approach and set down the glass before overlaying his arms over Buck’s and leaned back against him. “Yeah,” he replied, “just trying to wrap my head around everything today.”

Buck hummed, “It’s a lot to process.”  

“Knowing that you’ve just trusted a lot of people in one go with a long-held secret, yeah, it is.” Eddie agreed.

“Do you regret it?”

Eddie turned in Buck’s arms, touching a hand to his cheek. “Not at all. This is the most open I’ve ever been about myself with anyone else and I have you to thank for that.”

Buck shrugged bashfully, placing his hand over Eddie’s as he turned his face to kiss the palm of his hand. “All I did was run into you at a Pride festival, the rest was all you.”

“Well, I’m glad you did,” Eddie said tenderly.

Buck smiled warmly and took a step back, out of Eddie’s reach but kept a gentle grip on his hand, “Come on,” he said quietly, “Let’s go to bed, you’ll feel better in the morning after a good nights sleep.”

And Eddie, trusting the man implicitly, let Buck lead him to the bedroom already feeling more like himself just from talking to him and feeling so lucky to have such an amazing person in his life that is able to put him at ease with just a few choice words and actions.

They slotted themselves easily into each other arms as the settled under the covers, falling asleep happy and content, feeling more at peace with themselves knowing that all would be well as long as they were by each other’s side and had each other’s back in the moments that mattered most.

~ Fin ~

Tagging:  @buck-eddie @bisexualbuck  @benjisvictor  @seaofashes @chimbuckleys @maysgrant @pan-buck @adamngoodbuck @buckleydiazs @vampirebuckley @oliversstark @brilliantbanshee @eddiediaz @gracieli 

#Ace!eddie #demi!eddie #bi!buck #jess writes #my fic #ugh its finally done and i can take a break #this consumed way too much of my time #911 #911 fic #9-1-1 fic #buddie #buddie fic #dailyreblogs

[oliviastan17]

Just a dream 7/7

Warnings: 18+, language, fluff, poorly written smut

Length: 3.4k

A/n: It’s the last part of Just a Dream and that makes me a little sad but I’m excited about the new series! If you are on the JAD tag list and want to be on the permanent one, send me an ask. Please reblog and send comments because that makes me happy! DO NOT POST TO ANY OTHER WEBSITE! Gif is not mine.

You were standing with your hands on your hips staring at the 3 suitcases on the bed pondering.

“What?” Sebastian asked.

“Do we wear too much black?” you asked looking at the sea of black clothes with only a few hints of red and a little white.

“Probably.”

Sebastian was scheduled to appear at a fan convention in Boston. Initially you and Maverick were going to stay home but he worked his charm and convinced you to come with him.

“Come with me. Please? We could go to Atlanta after. See your family.”

You knew your mom was especially wanting to see you and the baby after she had asked you vlog a day in the life sort of video for her. She had been watching way too much YouTube.

“We are going to have to pack so much shit. Toys, diapers, baby food.”

“Is that a yes?”

“And you are probably going to have to deal with a cranky 4 month old and his even crankier mom.”

“How is that different from any other day?”

He narrowly dodged the pillow you threw at him and then tackled you onto the bed.

“Thank you,” he said after he kissed you.

 ————-

The short flight from New York to Boston was pretty easy. Mav slept most of the way there and was happy and laughing at the faces and noises Sebastian was making when he was awake. It couldn’t have gone smoother.

You didn’t really want to spend your whole day sitting in a room with your baby at a convention for hours while Sebastian did whatever it was he did at those things so you stayed back at the hotel but you did come to eat lunch with him. He sent his driver the convention provided to pick you up and a woman named Leslie met you at the back entrance.

“Hi there! I’m Leslie and I’ll be taking you back. If you need anything just let me know!” she said cheerfully. She was a little too cheerful for your taste but she was sweet.

She brought you back into an empty room with a couple couches and a table with chairs.

“Okay, Sebastian should be here in just a little while. Can I get you anything?”

“No, thank you. We’re fine,” you said setting the car seat with Maverick inside down on the couch.

“Alrighty! Enjoy your lunch!”

You took Maverick out of the car seat and were holding him while he chewed on a teething ring as you scrolled through some emails on your phone and waited for Sebastian. He and Chris walked in soon after you arrived and the food was brought in with them.

“Hey, you,” Sebastian said as he took his hat off, leaned over and gave you a kiss.

“Hey babe,” you said as you reached up and pulled his face in for another kiss.

“Can I hold him?” Chris asked as you were handing Maverick over to Sebastian.

“Hello to you too,” you told Chris.

“Sorry, hi,” he said leaning in to kiss your cheek. “I don’t have that long til I’m back out there.”

Sebastian gave Maverick a kiss and then handed him over to Chris.

“Hey big guy! It’s your Uncle Chris!” Chris told your son. He was holding Maverick and blowing raspberries causing Maverick to giggle.

“Are you just the most handsome little guy? Yes you are!” Chris spoke in baby talk to Maverick. He held and played with Maverick for 15 minutes while you ate.

“Hey, I think he pooped,” Chris informed you.

“Diaper bag is over there. Go for it Uncle Chris.”

There was a knock on the door and someone came in and told Chris it was time for his autograph session.

“Perfect timing!” he said handing Maverick over to Sebastian. “I’ll see you later tonight!”

“You will?” you asked.

“Yeah, I figured we could go to dinner or something. We’ll talk later.”

“Dinner?” you asked Sebastian after Chris left.

“We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“It might be nice. We haven’t eaten out in what, 4 months or so?”

Sebastian finished changing Maverick and then he told you about the sweet things and sometimes intense things fans had said to him that day. Being at these conventions and hearing someone say they wouldn’t be alive without him was a lot to take in.

“You are a wonderful man and all these people can see that,” you said placing you hand on his cheek and kissing him.

“It’s just a lot, you know?” he said and then kissed Maverick’s head.

“I know. Just try not to focus on the intense stuff. Just focus on the fact that you have had a positive effect on all these lives,” you said as you ran your fingers through his hair.

As Maverick started fussing you grabbed your diaper bag and pulled out a blanket.

“He’s probably hungry,” you said as you unbuttoned your top and then reached for him and began breastfeeding.

There was a knock on the door and Leslie came in.

“Oh! I’m so sorry! I’ll come back,” she said as she saw some of your breast was exposed.

“It’s okay hun. Once you shoot one of these things out you lose all sense of modesty,” you told her as you draped the blanket over your chest.

“Uh…okay. Sebastian, we’re ready for you if you are finished.”

“Yeah,” he said after taking a breath. He grabbed his black baseball hat from the table and slid it back on.

 “And Y/n I’ll be right back to walk you out to your car,” Leslie said.

“Thank you. Take your time,” you said.

“Love you,” Sebastian said and then kissed you. He lifted the blanket that was covering you and Maverick to give him a kiss.

“Love you. Have fun,” you told him.

You were looking through the diaper bag for your phone when you realized that you had forgotten your room key. Once you found your phone you called the hotel while Maverick ate but they said they could not issue you another key because your name was not on the registration.

“Perfect,” you mumbled under your breath.

Twenty minutes later there was a quiet knock at the door and then Leslie came in.

“Just let me know when you are ready to go,” she said.

 “Do you know how long it will be until Seb gets a break?” you asked as you were burping Maverick over your shoulder.

“Let’s see,” she said looking at her phone. “He’s in a meet and greet now and then pictures. Maybe 2 hours or so?”

“Okay, I’m going to need to interrupt that for just a minute. Can you take me to him?” you said.

“Of course!”

After Maverick burped you went to place him in the car seat but he began fussing. He liked to be held after he ate and wasn’t going to fall asleep unless you were holding him.

 “Would you mind carrying the car seat for me?” you asked Leslie.

“Oh yes! It’s no problem!” she said as she picked it up and led the way out the door and through the hall. Once out of the back area you entered the convention area and were shocked at the amount of people walking around.

“Wow. I had no idea this many people came to these things.”

“I think there are about 5,000 attending today. It’s a big event! And everyone here just loves Sebastian. He is one of the nicest people I have worked with here.”

“Yes, he is pretty great. But I may be a little biased.”

“He should be in the room here,” Leslie said as she opened the door and peaked in.

Maverick fussed as you stepped through the door Leslie was holding open for you. You were holding Maverick with your right hand under his butt and brought your left hand up to rub his back. That was something that almost always put him to sleep and he calmed immediately at your touch. Sebastian was sitting on a table in the front of the room with about 50 or so people hanging onto every word he said.

You stood there and were gently swaying back and forth while rubbing Maverick’s back lulling him to sleep while you waited for him to finish speaking.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked as he walked over to you.

“I’m sorry!” you apologized to the room for interrupting. “I think I left my room key in the room and the hotel won’t give me another one because my name is not on the registration. I need yours,” you told him quietly.

“Always so irresponsible,” he said jokingly as he reached for his wallet and pulled out his room key.

“Watch it buddy. Just put it in the diaper bag.”

A few girls in the room spoke up and said “Hi Y/n!”

“Hi! I’m sorry for interrupting! Please feel free to keep him though.”

“I was kidding!” he said as he leaned in to kiss your cheek.

“Okay. Have fun.”

You gave the room a small wave as you were walking out.

 ——————–

During Chris and Sebastian’s panel:

Fan: “Hi! Um, my question is for Sebastian but first I just wanted to say congratulations to you and Y/n on the birth of your baby.”

“Oh, thank you very much. He’s amazing. Thank you.”

Moderator: “What’s his name?”

“His name is Maverick and he’s just the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Audience awws.

“Why don’t you tell everybody his middle name?” Chris suggested.

“Well, okay we had to fill out all this paperwork for Mav’s social security number and insurance and everything. It had been like a week or something and he still didn’t have a middle name. We just couldn’t think of one so Y/n just said ‘Screw it, I’m putting down Christopher unless you can think of a better one’ and I couldn’t. So that’s how that happened.”

“I don’t even care about the circumstances causing it. All I care about is that he’s named after me!”

“Yeah, and couple weeks later Y/n was like ‘People go through life without a middle name all the time’ but we were so tired. We weren’t thinking straight.”

Fan: “I just recently got engaged and I was just wondering what is one thing you do that annoys your fiancé and what is one thing she does that annoys you and how you deal with that?”

“I can think of about 37 things Y/n does!” Chris said laughing. “No, I’m kidding. Sorry go ahead.”

Sebastian laughs. “Wait, hold up. What makes you say fiancé?”

Fan: “Um…when she came in to the meet and greet she had a ring on so I assumed…”

“God dammit,” he said lowering his head. “Okay, so I have to explain something here. Anytime something big like that happens my publicist always asks me if she should send out a press release and I always say no because you all find everything out anyways. And to make it a little more interesting for us, Y/N and I made a bet on how long it would take for the news to get out. She said less than 6 months and I said more than 6 months.”

“I found out from Y/n’s Instagram. They probably weren’t even going to tell me,” Chris offered.

“No, it had barely been 36 hours. We would have told you.”

Moderator: “So how long has it been?”

“Um…it’s been less than 6 months. Which sucks because I really wanted to win. You guys are gonna have to help me out here! No one post this, okay? For like at least another month.”

Moderator: “What was the wager? What were you betting on?”

“Uh, that would be so inappropriate to share right now,” he said laughing.  

Moderator: “Sorry I asked! Sorry I asked!”

“Yeah, maybe just use your imagination because I know I certainly did when I thought of what I wanted if I won! But I really want to win so please do not post this. If you love me then you won’t post this.”

Moderator: “Oh yeah, I’m sure no one is going to post this. Right guys?”

The crowd claps and cheers.

 “You are all a bunch of liars! And I do feel the need to disclose that I have been instructed by Y/n to inform her if I found out that everyone knew in case she misses it,” Chris said.

Moderator: “Chris do you know what the terms of the bet are?”

“No, and after that “use your imagination” comment, I never want to know!”

“You know what? I bet you she didn’t actually forget her room key and need mine. She just wanted to win and she saw an opportunity to flash that ring around you guys. Dammit, she’s good!”

Moderator: “It seems like you have a very fun relationship. Anything you two do to annoy each other?”

“Oh, I forgot there was a question. Sorry. I got lost thinking about the bet. Uh… I mean, yeah we annoy each other all the time, you know. It’s something that happens in every relationship, I think. You’re not always going to love everything about the other person but I think that’s how you know it’s really love though. When you can annoy the shit out of each other but still want to be together, you know. I know for a fact she is annoyed by me every single morning. Every single morning because she thinks I’m too happy when I wake up. She needs like 30 minutes before she can start speaking to anyone and I rarely give her those 30 minutes so that’s one annoying thing I do. I swear at least once a week she walks into the kitchen and I start talking so she just grabs her coffee, walks back into the bedroom and locks the door. At least once a week.”

Moderator: “You’re just excited to start your day! Who could blame you?”

“Uh, Y/n can. She can blame me. And she does!“ Sebastian said laughing.

Moderator: "Anything she does to annoy you?”

“And then Y/n, I don’t know. Uh…oh she just did this the other day. So we’ll be texting about something and she’ll start answering with gifs of me or Bucky. And I don’t know where she finds all these gifs but she has been known to have full conversations with me only using gifs. If she were to send like one or two it probably wouldn’t bother me but it’s never just one or two. And it kind of holds up the conversation if like, I don’t know, I ask her what day she wants to do a certain thing, she can take, you know 20 minutes to find a gif of me saying Friday. Does she do that to you?”

“No, but she still finds ways to annoy me,” Chris answered.

“You annoy her way more than she annoys you though.”

“That is probably accurate. But I haven’t scared her in a really long time so that’s progress.”

Moderator: “So are the gifs always of you?”

“Yeah it’s always me and it can really get on my nerves but listen, I will never be able to repay her for the gift she just gave me. I mean, our son is just so perfect and she was just so amazing and so strong through the whole pregnancy and birth and everything. I will just never be able to repay her so I will happily accept her annoying texts.”

 —————-

After dinner with Chris, you and Sebastian were back at the hotel, both sitting on the bed. You were feeding Maverick while watching tv and Sebastian was looking at something on his laptop.

“Here, take him,” you said handing Mav over to Sebastian, then you buttoned up you shirt.

“Oh shit,” Sebastian said suddenly jerking back and holding Mav up in the air. “You timed that perfectly buddy.”

You turned to see that Maverick had thrown up all over Sebastian’s shirt.

“Oh, oops,” you said laughing and handing Sebastian a blanket. “Did it get on the bed?”

“Nope, just me. He’s got good aim.”

“Thanks for not doing that on Mommy,” you said taking Maverick back.

“I’m getting in the shower,” he said as he leaned over to kiss the back of Mavericks head. As he showered you rocked Maverick to sleep and placed him in the crib you had set up across the room because the air vents blew too much air next to your bed.

Walking back towards the bed you stopped to check your phone that was sitting on the desk. Sebastian had put his gum in a folded up flyer from the convention and it was titled The Sebastian Stan Experience.

He came out of the bathroom wearing only a towel around his waist and was walking to his suitcase.

“So you’re out there all day giving these girls the Sebastian Stan experience huh?”

“And men. I don’t discriminate. Why? Would you like the Sebastian Stan experience?” he said as he turned to look at you.

You replied with a smile and a lift of your eyebrows.

He was across the room and kissing you in 2 seconds. When the kiss broke for him to remove your shirt you started pushing him into the bathroom. Even though your son was 4 months old, asleep and wouldn’t know what was going on, it made you feel better to have a door separating what you were doing and Maverick.

Sebastian immediately placed you up on the bathroom counter after you slid off your pants while you removed the towel around his waist and started stroking him. He moaned mid-kiss while he brought his hand between your legs and started to draw figure 8’s around your clit.

“You have to be quick,” you told him as he dropped to his knees. So far Maverick had woken up twice during sex and you didn’t want that to happen again.

You threw your head back with pleasure when he inserted his fingers into your core. Along with his talented tongue it took 5, maybe 6 curls of his fingers for you to come. After he helped you ride out your orgasm he stood up, grabbed your face and kissed you deeply.

He slid into you without any warning. Well, I did say be quick. He gave you a moment to adjust and gave himself some time to relish in how it felt to be in you again. With his forehead on yours he began pumping in and out of you. He realized very quickly that the height of the sink was not ideal. He needed you higher so he grabbed your legs and had you wrap them around his waist and turned so he was now holding you up against the wall.

Now that you were in the optimal position he was thrusting at a good pace. He was kissing your lips and kissing your neck while his hands were on your ass supporting your weight.  With each thrust your hold on the back of his neck grew tighter. He sped up knowing you were close. You had to break the kiss as your legs tightened around his waist and the orgasm spread all over you. He came almost immediately knowing you did.

He took a moment before setting you back on your feet. Once he did he wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed you for a good minute.

“Do you think-“ he started to speak as he stepped back but when he took that step, he slipped on the towel on the floor effectively bringing both of you down to the floor.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” he asked you after you fell on top of him because his arm was still around your waist.

You took a little while to answer because you were laughing so hard.

“I’m fine, you broke my fall. Are you okay?” you asked still lying on top of him.

“I think my ass might be bruised but I’m fine.”

You laughed again and kissed him before rolling to the side to lie next to him. It wasn’t the most comfortable place but you would lie in his arms anywhere.

After a glorious 30 seconds of after sex cuddling you heard Maverick cry.

“That’s my cue,” you said sitting up.

“No I’ve got him. Take a shower. Relax,” he said while standing up and then helping you up.

“You’re the best. Love you.”

He gave you a quick peck and then said, “Love you.”

Fin

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#Sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian+stan+fandom #chris evans #dad!sebastian stan

[kageyio]

FIRST KISS HEADCANONS: KARASUNO

note; this is my first post on my haikyuu writing blog, so i hope you enjoy! this took me super long to write because i would only spend like 10 minutes on it at a time ahaha...

headcanons are below!

daichi sawamura

there is an unspoken agreement between the two of you that you both definitely want to kiss each other, but you're both a bit nervous

would most likely wait until a month of dating has passed

he knows he wants to wait for the perfect moment, he wants to make it memorable

there's a lull in the conversation, you're both quiet, just looking into each other's eyes

finally he asks, very quietly, if he can kiss you

when you agree, your face is already red

he gently cups your face, leaning in slowly

as soon as your lips connect, you get a shock to your entire system

whatever he's doing, he's very good at it

it's the kind of kiss that leaves you breathless afterwards, the kind of kiss that makes your head spin

it's the kind of kiss that, after he pulls away and gives you that soft smile, all you can think to say is "oh, wow"

koushi sugawara

after about two months of dating

you two spent a long, quiet, domestic day together, and as the sun started to set, he would walk you home

the conversation is kind of serious (but not in an uncomfortable way)

when you make it home, neither of you want to leave each other

you're standing really close, but neither of you says a word

finally, you mumble out something about needing to go, but as you turn to leave he grabs your wrist and pulls you back

when you turn, your lips meet his

the kiss doesn't last very long, but when you pull away your face is completely flushed

"let's do this again sometime," koushi says with a small smile and god he's just so pretty

your brain is short circuiting, so you just nod in agreement

you can hear koushi laugh a little as he waves goodbye and leaves

asahi azumane

a nervous mess who moves very slowly in a relationship because he's shy and needs reassurance

you've been dating for almost a year before he finally kisses you

at this point you've become very comfortable in each other's presence and have very good communication

you two are sitting on a park bench, fingers intertwined, chatting about your plans after graduation, when he suddenly looks over and asks you if you're sure you want to be dating him

"of course i do, asahi!" you exclaim before explaining all the reasons you're dating him; explaining that he's kind, reliable, has a beautiful smile, and that his habits are adorable

to further your point, you bring his hand to your face and place a gentle kiss on his knuckles

you continue your chat with asahi having a much more happy demeanor, and after a couple minutes he also takes time to explain why he's dating you; explaining that you're cute, and sweet and always make him feel happy whenever he sees you

as he explains this, his face gets closer to yours until your foreheads are resting against each other

he pauses for a moment in his explanations, then, in a soft voice, he asks, "is this ok?"

you assure him that it's more than okay and you two share a very loving, heartfelt kiss

and when you pull away, you both tell each other that you love each other

yuu nishinoya

victory kiss!

after like a month of dating

the karasuno boy's team just won a game (one that means a lot to them, like aoba jousai or shiratorizawa)

yuu, of course, is over the moon already, and becomes even happier when he sees you running towards him after the game

you collide into him, pulling him into a tight hug

before either of you can say anything, you kiss him

the entire team starts shouting and laughing as they watch you guys

someone might have fainted (it was hinata)

it's a very happy, high energy kiss

you're both smiling against each other's lips

when you pull away, you manage a breathless "congratulations"

yuu can't even say anything, he just stands there, with a huge smile on his face

he's never been happier in his life

ryuunosuke tanaka

he never stops thinking about kissing you, honestly

every time you're together, he always ends up staring at your lips, but he doesn't want to rush things or get overexcited, so he waits

finally, after 2-3 weeks of dating, his waiting comes to an end

during a study session in his room, you notice him staring at your lips, and quickly catch on to what he's thinking

wanting to mess with him a bit, you give him a teasing smile before biting your lip

this affects him in ways he doesn't want to admit, but he decides he's waited long enough and begins to lean towards you

just as his lips begin to brush against yours, his sister bursts in the room because of course she does

he jerks back, red-faced and embarrassed

she laughs at how "scandalous" you two are being

but after she leaves again, you pick up right where you left off

the kiss is very sweet and when you pull away, he tries to follow you because he's so dumbstruck and happy

kei tsukishima

you two are at this strange stage between friendship and dating

there's an unspoken mutual like, and everyone knows about it, but neither of you have said it outright

he's trying to tease you a little bit like he does all the time

saying things like "stop looking at my lips like that, pervert" and "fine, fine, i'll kiss you, but only if you say 'please'"

he just wants to see you blushy and embarrassed

he wasn't expecting you to actually say "please kiss me," and his cheeks redden a little

nonetheless, he smirks and says, "alright, i'll indulge you just this once" as he begins to lean forward

your eyes flutter shut, but the kiss never comes

instead, you hear muffled snickering

he's laughing at you! (he thought your expression was just too funny and cute)

you huff, but you do actually get your kiss when he stops laughing

that night, the mutual like was no longer unspoken

tadeshi yamaguchi

you've been dating for just over 4 months

he's a bit nervous, stressing over every minor detail; he really doesn't want to mess it up and make it a bad experience

one day, you come over to his house so you guys can watch some movies together

your head is leaning on his shoulder, and he's playing with your hair

the atmosphere is very peaceful and happy, and you feel like you're about to fall asleep

tadeshi, on the other hand, keeps glancing at you

his face is flushed since he's thinking maybe this is a good moment

you feel him shift under you, and you're about to ask what he's doing when you feel his lips on your forehead

it's more than enough to wake you up, and you two stare into each other's eyes for what feels like a lifetime

finally, you both lean in and kiss each other

you smile against his lips; the kiss is very gentle and sweet

when you pull away, you giggle at each other and go in for a second kiss as well

tobio kageyama

first kisses are something he both anticipates and absolutely dreads

he has no idea what the fuck he's doing!

he's never been in a relationship before, so he takes it very slowly

it takes him a while to work up the courage to actually do it, almost 5 months

when he finally does, he becomes a little too enthusiastic

he leans in too quick, so his teeth knock against yours

you both pull away immediately, and tobio is so embarrassed he almost leaves right then and there

but you put your hand on his shoulder, and lean in slow, pecking his cheek

"don't worry," you tell him, "just close your eyes"

when he does, he waits an agonizingly long moment before feeling your lips against his

the kiss is very soft and gentle

when you finally pull away, tobio is bright red and looks like he's about to combust

shoyo hinata

precious baby, please protect him at all costs

after around 4 months of dating, the two of you are walking home together

shoyo is holding your hand and practically bounces with every step, your presence just fills him with such pure joy

kissing you has been on his mind for the past couple weeks, and while he is super excited, he's also very nervous

as you begin to approach your house, his brain kicks into overdrive as he contemplates giving you a goodbye kiss

you look over at him and realize that he is far too easy to read

as he thinks about kissing you, he puckers and unpuckers his lips without knowing

you do your best not to laugh, but when you stop in front of your house and hear him cry out, "can i kiss you!?" you can't help but giggle a little bit

you give him an enthusiastic "yes!"

the kiss is short, sweet, and energetic, and when you part, shoyo's face is bright red

he barely manages a "see you tomorrow!" before dashing away with a huge smile on his face

#sugar #haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #karasuno #karasuno x reader #reader insert #first kisses #hq #daichi sawamura #koushi sugawara #asahi azumane #ryuunosuke tanaka #yuu nishinoya #kei tsukishima #tadeshi yamaguchi #tobio kageyama #shoyo hinata #haikyuu x reader

[ka-za-ri]

Personal Assistant Pt. 2

Part 1: Here Part 3: here Part 4: here Part 5: here Part 6: here Part 7: Here Crossposted to Ao3: here

Hi. Hello. Thank you for reading the first chapter and for all the new follows. I’m still new to this whole fandom so excuse me if I overstep any boundaries. Unbeta’d because we die like heroes here. Please leave a comment or something idk, validate me?

Pairing: Lucifer x Reader Wordcount: 5,900 ish Genre: Smut Tags: Edging, Oral Sex, Orgasm denial, masturbation, sex toys, under-desk blowjob, sexual tension, sex on a desk, overstimulation

Probation Period

Lucifer wasn’t joking when he said you would be occupied with a lot of work. The first two weeks at the office were dedicated to acquainting yourself to the systems you would be using on a daily basis, learning the location of all the supplies as well as memorizing  what floors all the departments were. It was a proper nine-to-five with all the bells and whistles of benefits, overtime pay and paid-time-off as long as it was approved. Being so close to the head of the company, you came to realize just how much work actually needed to be done. Lucifer’s schedule was always full and you were constantly trying to squeeze in just one more meeting for him. It almost made the interview you went to feel like a feverish dream. 

Every now and then, you would steal a glance over to your boss after he finished speaking with another department head or analyst. The two of you would lock gazes and for a moment there would be a heat that welled up between your legs reminding you that everything he promised was real. 

You thought you were prepared for the job with your skill set, figuring fluency with an office suite was the bare minimum. However, you never thought you’d be learning six other proprietary systems while also having to answer a phone that never stopped ringing. 

Humans didn’t know many things; but, they could always be easily taught anything in the world with some proper training.

For someone who had lived hundreds of years, ensuring that you were well trained to actually handle the duties of his office before starting proper private lessons was a small price to pay. It barely passed in his mind that you could be needy and wanting more of what he had offered the night you signed your contract with him. He often looked fondly over the document after hours when even you had gone home, smirking in pride when he knew you hadn’t read everything thoroughly. No one ever did. 

You were beginning to think that the promise of “after hour activities” had all been made up and fell into a rhythm at work, quickly becoming efficient at weeding out the unnecessary meetings and phone calls by settling the issues at hand with a well worded email.Things were settling and finally you were in a lull where you could comfortably work and not feel like you were drowning in information. Still, even if you were a month and a half into your new position, the last thing he told you the night of the interview rang in your head. 

“Wear the same lipstick, will you? I’d love to see what that color looks like smeared all over my cock.” 

Ever since that night, you came into work with the same shade of red on your lips, hoping it would be the day he would get to see what the image of your lipstick all over his hard length looked like. It became so ingrained in your routine, you had even bought a few more tubes of the same color, just in case the current one you had ran out. 

Yet, nothing. No indications whatsoever from Lucifer that he took notice how obedient you were of his request. No outward signs that he was even remotely as affected as he was on the night of the interview. Soon enough, you had chalked it up to some persuasive tactics he used to get you to work for him. 

So, it was much to your surprise when you walked into the office in the beginning of your second month and found a small box sitting at your desk. Once your things were put away, curiosity got the better of you and you opened the non-descript box. The moment your eyes laid on the phallic object inside, you gasped and dropped it back onto your desk. 

“Is it not to your liking?” Lucifer’s low, silky voice came from behind you. He had somehow soundlessly made his way to your desk, watching your every move as you unwrapped his gift to you. 

“I uh… Uhm…” 

“A present… for making it through your first month here.” He explained, coaxing you out of your chair and bending you over your desk. Your body was as pliable and malleable as he remembered it to be. 

“I… Thank you… Lucifer…” you breathed, swallowing hard as you eyed the object nestled in the box. 

“Let me help you into it.” He offered, taking it into his hand. He moved one of your legs to be propped up on the top of your desk, the AC hitting your heat in a way it hadn’t in what felt like ages. Nearly nothing had been done and a fog of desire had already settled upon your brain. 

Now that he had an excellent view of your panties, he rubbed the stout, girthy toy up and down your slit, watching as your body twitched in reaction. Pushing your panties to the side, he pressed the tip of the toy into your pussy only to have a strangled gasp come from you as you weren’t wet enough to accept it yet. 

“I should have expected as much…” He murmured to himself. How foolish of him to forget that even if you had been in his care for the last month, your true training was starting today. Of course he couldn’t expect you to be as wet as he wanted as soon as you walked in. “Stay still.” He commanded and the warmth of his body left your side. 

Making his way to his desk, he unlocked a drawer and took out a bottle of lube. Generously coating the toy while he walked back to you, you saw the same glittering darkness in his eyes that made your heart race from the interview. Fearful that you had disappointed him, you started babbling apologies and begged for his forgiveness, promising to do better. He hushed you with a firm glare before going back to what he was doing. “The only thing you need to apologize for, is if you’re unable to be wet enough to take this first thing in the morning by next week.” he said coolly. 

The slick toy now much easier to slide into you was met with only the resistance of your tight pussy as he pushed it into you. “Starting today, you’ll wear this during your working hours.” He readjusted your panties once the vaginal plug was snuggly in you, the bottom of it just peeking out between your lips before your underwear covered them once again. Satisfied, he helped your leg down from the desk and put the bottle of lube into one of your drawers. “Don’t let it fall out now.” He said with a self satisfied smirk, turning heel and heading back to his desk as if nothing ever happened. 

The plug inside of you stretched you out and filled you deliciously so. However it wasn’t nearly large or long enough to properly satisfy you. Sitting down at your chair to start your own duties for the day, it pressed further into you, stimulating you and made it hard to concentrate on your tasks at hand. As hard as focusing was, the fear of disappointing Lucifer looming over you was even more oppressive. Any moment your mind wandered to the stretch your pussy was feeling, you forcibly had to look at something else or distract yourself with phone calls in order to get through the day. 

No matter how many distracting tasks you came up with, it did nothing to quell your arousal. The way the toy pressed at your entrance and teased all the spots inside of you that needed attention had your nerves on fire. You weren’t sure how you were going to survive if you needed to wear it on the regular. By the time your shift ended, there was a significant wet spot on your chair and on the back of your skirt. You were eternally lucky that there hadn’t been any physical meetings set up for the day. Though, you weren’t quite sure if it was actually luck or if Lucifer had orchestrated the day to work out like that for you. 

Regardless,cleaning up the mess you became in the bathroom was an adventure. The toy easily slid out of you and you groaned from both relief and desire. Having it inside of you all day only made you want something more. More being specifically Lucifer’s cock dragging itself in and out of your walls. As you washed the toy and stowed it away in its designated drawer, your mind meandered, wondering if today would be the day that you would see your lipstick on his dick. 

It was very much to your dismay though, when you came out of the bathroom, Lucifer had already left for the day and you were alone with your thoughts and a throbbing, aching pussy. 

~~

The moment you got home, you frantically searched under your bed for the box that held your own small collection of toys and grabbed the first one that you knew could satisfy you in the way you had been craving all day. Thrusting it into your sopping core, you moaned wantonly, throwing your head back and flopping onto your bed, not caring to take off any more clothes than absolutely necessary. 

The toy worked in and out of you and you bucked against it. Almost forgetting that it could vibrate, you turned it on and let it do its work, making you moan as you shoved its full length into you. If only it was Lucifer and not a piece of silicone. If only he had bent you over the desk after work and filled you. Your fingers rubbed at your clit and you angled the toy to brush against your g-spot, gasping and writing in pleasure as your vision filled with stars. You panted heavily, the pressure of an orgasm building quickly in your abdomen and you couldn’t wait for the release it would give you. It only took a few more hard thrusts of the toy on its highest setting before you came undone, crying out gratefully and spasming around it, your mind reeling in the euphoria of getting off after hours of being teased by a damn toy. 

But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t him. And it somehow felt dirty that you had cum without his permission, without his heated gaze on your body. A feeling of shame and guilt washed over your body while you powered the toy off, gasping for air after the whirlwind fucking you had given yourself. You whined, pulling it out of you rolled over, the initial high had been great but it left you feeling dissatisfied for some reason. 

It was as if your pleasure belonged to Lucifer. No matter what you did to yourself, it wouldn’t be nearly the same as what he could give you. Your pussy ached for more stimulation just thinking about him, even if you had just cum. Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to relieve yourself unless it was at his behest. Sighing heavily, you dragged your limp body to the shower to get rid of the mess between your legs and to prepare for another day of long torment without relief in sight. 

~~

It took less than a week to train yourself to be wet enough to slide the vaginal plug into you without the aid of lube. First thing in the morning, Lucifer got a front row show of you parting your legs, taking the toy out of the drawer and putting it in you. You adapted quickly, kicking your skirt up before you sat down so that your bare ass came in contact with the chair and you would have less to clean up. Lucifer was kind enough to have the foresight to supply you with a leather chair to ensure your essence could be easily wiped up at the end of your shif. Ever since the first night, the desire to be fucked only grew in you. You hadn’t touched yourself since then, hoping, praying that he would show you mercy and relieve you in a way only he could. 

Ah, but Lucifer was cruel and he took his training very seriously. As soon as he knew you had grown accustomed to the first toy he introduced, he was ready to push your limits again as yet another gift graced your desk a week later. The butt plug, adorned with a glittering red jewel made you swallow hard. You hadn’t ever explored using your other hole, but Lucifer was at least gentle as he trained your asshole open that morning. 

Plenty of lube dribbled down your backside as he slowly worked the hard metal plug, pressing it against your tight ass and easing it into you, cooing and praising you the whole time. He pet your hair as you gasped from being stretched to your limit, he stroked your face as the plug finally slid into you and your whole body was alight with a flurry of sensations. “Good girl…” he praised softly, planting a kiss on your cheek before going back to work. As soon as you sat down, you knew you had a long day ahead of you as the duality of having both holes filled cast a fog over your mind.

Part of his responsibility as a boss to you was to make sure you were cared for, looked after and treasured even if his normal disposition was rather chilly. He was a stern businessman after all, but he did dote on you in some ways. The main way being that he made sure to be there every morning to fit the anal plug into you while you slid the other one into your waiting pussy. Every step of your training was meticulously overseen by him and he just loved the way your body accepted everything he tried as long as he was patient enough. 

Your workload never seemed to lessen, even with the weight of the plugs inside of you every day. The corporate world didn’t stop for anyone and you had to adapt even further to hide your sexual frustration from the guests that frequented the office during his meetings. Guiding them to the little alcove in the corner of the office lined with couches that served as a miniature ‘waiting room’ was the hardest part. Every step you took sent jolts of pleasure down your legs and you struggled to keep your pace even while maintaining perfect posture. Your muscles clenched and strained to ensure nothing fell out of you. Even if the journey was a short one, it felt like it lasted for miles with how much effort it took to look professional. You always ended your introductions with a smile, letting your esteemed guests know that Lucifer would be ready to see them shortly before having to make the long, arduous journey back to your desk. 

Lucifer took pride in the company he built and the people he trained. You, most of all, were so susceptible to all his lessons and adapted quickly. It only felt natural for him to spend on gifts for you, giving you a plethora of options to choose from on how to stuff your pussy for your day. Every few days, it seemed like there was a new box on your desk. Whether it was deliciously textured balls that rubbed against each other and stretched you in a way that made you see stars, or smooth orbs with weights in them, making you clench anytime they shifted inside of you, they all had one thing in common: they all left you wanting more. None of them ever seemed to stretch you far enough or deep enough to satisfy that itch and craving you had for Lucifer’s cock and you were driven nearly mad at that fact. 

He could just how frustrated you were as you cleaned up after yourself and bent over your desk, waiting for him remove the anal plug from your ass. Your essence flowed freely down your thigh at the end of the day and he was satisfied; especially when you let out that precious breathy moan of yours whenever the plug left you empty. You would always look back at him, pleading with your eyes for him to take it further and fill you, but it was business as usual for him. He’d tell you to go home and you would be left on the edge, unable to cum unless he gave you explicit permission to do so. 

~~  

The end of your second month working at Akuzon as Lucifer’s personal assistant drew to a close and by the third month you were there, no matter what task you were doing, your mind reeled with fantasized images of how you wanted Lucifer to take you and make you scream. It invaded every fiber of your being. It was so endlessly frustrating to see your boss completely straight laced and nonplussed at your predicament. He could tell you were close to your breaking point, almost a month of teasing and yet no release in sight; it would soon come time for him to give you what you truly craved. 

“Ah… This is a problem, can you come here and help?” He called you over to his desk and pointed at the space underneath. “I dropped the whole box of paperclips and I really don’t have time to pick them up before my next meeting. Be a dear, and help?” 

“Yes, of course, Lucifer.” you obliged, thinking nothing of it and scrambled on your hands and knees to pick up what seemed to be hundreds of paperclips on the ground. Before you were even a quarter of the way through, you heard the elevator in the distance ding, signalling the arrival of your next guest. Scrambling to get up and greet them, you only found yourself blocked off by Lucifer sitting down, scooting his chair right up to you and blocking your escape. 

“Don’t make a sound now.” He said quietly, looking down at you with an expectant expression on his face. “This guest is of the highest esteem and I would like to make sure this acquisition goes smoothly.” 

“Y-yes, Lucifer.” You mumbled, shifting enough so that you were settled somewhat comfortably between his legs and staring right at his thighs. 

“My apologies for not having my assistant greet you.” Lucifer said as his guest came in. “She’s on an errand and couldn’t make it back in time. Please, take a seat.” He stood up, gesturing to the chair on the other side of the desk and got right to work, discussing the terms of his next acquisition and his expectations once the companies merged. The talk was mundane and there was a fair amount of back and forth as schematics were discussed. 

He kept one hand on his thigh, gently stroking his crotch, and you watched wide eyed, barely daring to breathe as he got hard right in front of his client. His voice betrayed nothing, staying smooth and low while he discussed business matters. You could barely think straight as his finger beckoned you closer to his clothed crotch. His musky scent mixing with the smell of his cologne and newly dry cleaned clothes made you dizzy. As his cock started to strain and press against his pants, you carefully leaned forward, nuzzling his crotch and basking in his closeness. 

He seemed to enjoy this little development. His hand wandered over to your hair, pulling you closer and encouraging you. The thrill of possibly being caught sparked an arousal in you that you hadn’t expected. The conversation above you melted away as you focused on the hardening length pressed up against your cheek and breathing in his scent, getting intoxicated by just his proximity. His hand gently patted your hair as you nuzzled him to full mast under his clothes. You felt your arousal rise along with his cock, your slick essence soaking through your panties. Yet you didn’t dare touch yourself or make a noise. 

“Ah, how foolish of me. I forgot the final paperwork in my car. Please, excuse me for a moment while I retrieve it.” The client said as they drew close to closing the deal. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Of course, please take your time.” Lucifer said. You couldn’t see it, but you could almost feel the self satisfied smirk that was undoubtedly on his face once the guest left to retrieve the documents. 

As soon as the elevator dinged and they were alone, his grip in your hair tightened. He slid back just enough to see your face peeking out from between his thighs. “Don’t ruin this for me.” he warned, unzipping his pants and pulling out his cock. You started salivating as you saw his length unfurl before you, hard and throbbing, a drop of precum dribbling from the tip and your tongue darted out to catch it and taste him. He smirked, loving how obedient  you were without him asking you to be. “Don’t mess up my suit. Understand?” 

“Yes… Sir.” 

The dark glitter of lust shone in his eyes for a brief moment as you addressed him properly. He settled himself back into place and you were once again alone under the desk; but this time with a very important task at hand. It was a long ride up the elevator from the ground floor to the top, which gave you ample time to suck him off as loudly and as lewdly as you wanted. His cock filled your mouth hot and heavy, the salt from his precum and his scent cast a haze over you as you put as much of him in your mouth as you could. Your hand fisting the rest of what you couldn’t handle all at once. 

His hand in your hair set the pace, making your head bob as you slurped and sucked. Only once did you hear a satisfied groan come from him. But, that was enough to send your hormones into overdrive and you redoubled your efforts into pleasuring him. Your knees ached and your whole body felt too hot to be cramped under his desk like this; but the taste and feel of his cock in your mouth was worth it. It was truly too soon when you heard the tell tale ding of the elevator in the distance, signalling the return of your guest that you had to abruptly stop being loud. 

“I didn’t take too long, now did I?” 

“No, not at all. I was just reviewing everything to make sure everything is crossed and dotted properly.” Lucifer replied calmly, but you could hear a slight strain in his tone. His hand pushed your mouth further down his length until he hit the back of your throat. You fought back a startled squeal and resisted the urge to gag, relaxing your body and your reflexes to accept him as he saw fit. Satisfied, he removed his hand to go over a few more things on the paperwork and you took the prerogative to keep taking him until every inch of him was down your throat. You had to take slow breaths to keep yourself from passing out, his girthy cock blocking much of your airway. 

You could feel his thighs tense as he was balls deep down your throat. As soon as he was able to, his hand returned to your hair and set a languid pace, using your mouth and throat as a fuck toy while he hashed out important business details. Drool pooled at the base of his cock as you let him use you. The worry of ruining his suit caused your whole body to tense in anxiety and you prayed that everything would drip onto the chair below him and not on the expensive tweed of his suit. 

“Yes, I think all of that checks out. Just our signatures left.” Lucifer’s voice floated into your consciousness, the first clear sign that it was all going to be over soon. He didn’t know just how wet you were from sucking him off under his desk. Just rubbing your thighs together, you knew there was a slick mess for you to deal with later on your own. 

Just a little bit more… You told yourself, holding your desire and your breath as you heard the tell tale scratching above you of papers being signed. From there, it was only a few more congratulatory remarks and the guest was on his way out. As soon as he leaves I’m going to suck his soul out from his dick. You determined, fantasizing about how his hot load would taste going down your throat. 

“Yes, that’s the last of everything. I’ll have the receptionist see you out.” Lucifer shuffled the documents on his desk and slid them into a drawer. 

“Of course. I look forward to future business ventures with you.” 

“And I as well. Thank you for coming.” 

Something happened then that you didn’t think could ever happen. You stifled a whimper against his cock buried in your face, but it was impossible to not make a sound. Your whole body shivered when he said that word. The way it lilted and the meaning it held to you had involuntarily made you orgasm. All the sexual tension you had been asked to hold for the past month came crashing around you and you were a shaking wreck, clenching around the small toys inside of you. The lack of air making the euphoria of your climax all the more surreal. 

“Did you hear something?” 

“Must have been the air conditioning settling.” Lucifer lied easily, gripping your hair tightly as a warning. “It does that sometimes… scares me half to death when I’m alone after hours.” He chuckled and gestured towards the door when he saw a message on his desk phone light up. “My receptionist is already here to see you out… Please be sure to drive safely home.” 

“I will. Thank you again.” 

The pain of his hand in your hair grounded you as you rode out the unbidden orgasm. As soon as the elevator was on its way down, the pressure of his cock filling your mouth and throat as you were roughly pulled away from him. You gasped, tears of relief streaked down your face as you took deep unhindered breaths to clear your mind. Whatever plans you had to swallow his load earlier were completely dashed as he pulled you off his cock. 

He slid his chair back assessing your disheveled figure under his desk.  The sight of your drool and lipstick smeared across your face, your hair an absolute rat’s nest from the rough treatment and your trembling form in the aftershocks of your sudden orgasm did things to him he hadn’t expected. He knew he had you trained well with the toys; but it never crossed his mind just how much power his words had over you. Just the casual phrase he let slip had made you cum. The knowledge of that sent a thrill through his body as he immediately started to scheme all the things he could do to you. 

Lucifer glanced down at his cock, looking at the long red streaks of lipstick smeared all across the length. He smirked, loving how the color looked against it. “I was right… that color does look good all over my cock.” He pushed his chair back again to give you just enough room to timidly crawl out from under the desk and stretch your aching muscles. Seeing you on all fours also made him want to do things to you, things that would have to wait until later. “I was going to reward you for a job well done.” He started, pulling you up and sitting you on the edge of his desk. “But unfortunately… it looks like someone got too much pleasure out of this exchange without my permission.” 

His hands spread your thighs apart for him and he pushed your soaked panties to the side, the toys peeking out of your ass and your pussy were absolutely drenched in your juices. Your nether region quivered, and pulsated around the small toy, trying to milk it as you had done to his cock months prior. “Every one of your orgasms… belong to me.”

“Ye… yes, Sir…” you breathed. “I’m sorry, Sir. It won’t happen again, Sir.” you babbled, praying he would forgive you. 

“I suppose I can cut you some slack. Even I didn’t know how sensitive you can be from my words.” His fingers stroked your labia, his touch driving you insane. It had been so long since he had last been intimate with you like this, your whole body was in complete sensation overdrive as it relished being touched by him again. Sure, he spent a few minutes every day prepping your ass; but that was nothing compared to what he was giving you now. 

“Thank you sir.” You sobbed, your heart nearly beating out of your chest at the prospect of feeling more of him. 

“Of course… It’s only proper that I congratulate you on making it through the probationary period.” He replied casually, pulling the plug out of your ass and letting it drop to the ground. He chuckled, as you whined, feeling your anus being stretched out as it exited you and then feeling the emptiness that came after it. The toy in your pussy came out next, but he made sure to take his sweet time to drag it out of you, watching it come out bit by bit. The needy whine that came from your lips as your empty cunt begged to be filled again was music to his ears. 

It was only a short moment after that all your needs were fulfilled. His cock easily slid into you, assisted by the copious amounts of your essence that coated your nether region. The dull thud of the toy hitting the ground sounded so distant. All that mattered was finally feeling full and having your needs satiated by Lucifer. With no one else in the office anymore, you moaned loudly, throwing your head back and clutching the edge of the desk to brace yourself. Your legs wrapped around his waist, drawing him closer towards you. It had been so long since you had felt his cock inside of you; yet, your body seemed to remember every ridge and edge of it as he filled you up. 

“Does that feel good?” He purred, very pleased at your reaction. Holding off on fucking you was possibly the best decision he had ever made. However, now that he had you, he knew he couldn’t hold off again like that. Not when your heat surrounded him and released all the carnal desire he had reigned in for the past months. 

“Yes… Yes, Sir!” 

“You’ve wanted this for a long time, now huh?” he asked, starting a slow and steady pace to build you up to yet another explosive orgasm. “The toys I gave you weren’t enough? You wanted this inside of you instead, huh?” 

“Yes… Yes… “ You were delirious, swimming in a sea of pure pleasure as his cock hit every sensitive spot in you that had been craving attention for months now. You couldn’t see or think straight. It was all like the first time you had coupled during your interview. All of it was so intense and amazing, it took your breath away. “I want you so much, Sir. I can’t stop thinking about you.” you admitted freely. 

“What a good girl…” he praised, stroking your hair gently. “Your hard work will be rewarded.” He said before roughly slamming his hips into you and burying his whole length into you. Your cries of pleasure rang in his ear as he picked up the pace and chased his release inside of you. Your walls, so tight after your first orgasm hugged him deliciously and he saw stars every time he was balls deep inside of you. 

“Oh… thank you! Thank you, Sir.” you sang endless praises for him as he fucked you senseless, taking you to highs you had never experienced. Being teased for months on end had made all your nerves so sensitive, you could barely handle the reward he was giving you; and that was possibly the best part of it all. “This is the best… reward.. Thank you… thank y---” 

Lucifer cut off your words with a deep kiss, shoving his tongue roughly into your mouth and exploring your mouth. He could taste traces of him in you and it only served to make his hips snap into yours even faster and harder. He was close again. Anytime it came to being inside of you, he knew it would be over soon. Perhaps that was why he preferred to tease you for such long periods of time. The payoff was so worth it in the end. 

“Cum.” he commanded once he broke his kiss with you. “Cum like you did the first time, milk me.” He hissed, his pace now erratic and needy. 

“Yes! Yes! Yes, Sir!” you obliged, the pleasure building up in your abdomen crumbling all at once and you came around his cock hard. Your vision whiting out for a moment and your ears ringing from the force of your climax. 

It only took a few more brutal thrusts before he emptied himself inside of you with a satisfied groan, his long lashes fluttering as your walls pulsed around him and accepted every drop of his seed. “Very good…” He murmured softly, holding you in a close embrace and patting your hair as the both of you came down from the highs of your orgasms. 

Lucifer hissed as he pulled out of you once he was soft enough to do so. The image of his cum dripping out of you was so enticing, it almost made him hard again. Satisfied that you were properly trained for his needs, he adjusted your panties back over your crotch and looked up at your blissed out face. “Congratulations, you’re now a permanent member of my staff.” He cooed, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on your forehead. 

You weren’t even in the right mindset to thank him, your brain reeling from the pleasure and your body relaxing after finally getting the release you had been craving for months. His words sounded like they were coming from under water, muffled and garbled. You blinked, in a haze, trying to focus. 

It wasn’t until something cool hit your neck that you jolted to consciousness, grounding yourself with the new sensation against your heated skin. A thin, delicate chain held up a beautiful pendant in the shape of a peacock feather now adorned your neck. In your high, Lucifer had pulled the gift out from his desk and helped himself to putting it on you. 

“A small gift… I think it suits you.” he explained softly. 

“Thank you…” You said, rather touched by the gentle gesture. “I’ll wear it with pride.” 

“I expect nothing less from you.” 

It was true, humans didn’t know much at all until they were trained. You were proof of that and he couldn’t wait to see what other things he could teach you to do with your body.

#Obey me #Obey me fanfiction #Obey me smut #Lucifer x reader #Lucifer x mc #Obey Me AU #CEO! Lucifer is out of control I'm not even sorry #i'm trash you're trash we're all trash #shameless smut

[batik96]

Venturing into 2020 ...

This will be the third year that I’ve used a daily word-count self-challenge to see if I can inspire myself to write more.

The first year, 2018, I wrote 43 words on New Year’s Day and, realizing that managing that every day would give me nearly 15,700 words at year’s end, I set that as my goal. (Not literal everyday writing but averaging it all out.) I surprised myself and ended up with a 50-words-a-day average. So I upped my self-challenge for 2019 to that 50-word level. 

I ended 2019 with a daily word average of 114 words and more than 41,000 total words.

I feel as if upping my self-challenge to 114 words a day in 2020 would be setting myself up for failure -- there’s a fine line between *challenge* and “seemingly impossible task” -- so I’m not officially going to go there. Instead, I’m going to maintain the 50-words-a-day goal for 2020 and hope that I meet it (and maybe, just maybe, manage to exceed those 114 words a day anyway)!

Dec. 31: Happy end to 2020. I am about to end the year having written far fewer words than I did in 2019. While I’m glad I managed to beat my daily word-average goal, and to some extent am pleased that I managed to write anything at all, I had been hoping for more. I have the ideas. (Well, a couple of ideas.) And I have a WIP that I think I’ll really like -- if I can pull it off. But the words don’t want to come. So I’m trying to be OK with writing about 25 percent* less than I did in 2019, recognizing that it’s still more than I wrote in the majority of years since 2012. And 2021 is a new year in which I can try again to write more (and hopefully better) words. (* That percentage depends on what measure I use. According to AO3, I’ve posted 20,000 fewer words than 2019′s 47,000. Which is pushing a loose 50 percent drop. But I know I have about 7,000 words in my unposted WIP, which brings the difference closer to 13,000, which I’m loosely considering 25 percent.)

Feb. 21: This is my first entry of 2020 and ... not great. But ... part of the reason I do it this way is because, when the words come, they tend to come in clusters of more than 50 words.So taking six weeks to write my first words isn’t fatal to the year-end goal.

During the weekend of Feb. 15-16, I wrote 1,320 words. Today (Feb. 21) I have added another 903 words, for a year-to-date word total of 2,223 words and a daily word average of 42.75 words. Which isn’t far off of that 50-words-a-day goal, despite my late start. (The words still feel kind of like I’m pulling teeth, but I have a solid idea -- and a unique idea -- that I like. Here’s hoping I can see it through to the end.

Feb. 23: Well, it wasn’t much, especially considering it was the weekend, but I added another 200 words to my current doc today, which brings my yearly word count up to 2,423 and my daily word average up to 44.87 words a day. I’m creeping closer to my 50-word-a-day goal and trying not to stall out for lack of time/energy. I want to write this. But every time I sit down to write, I’m also aware that I want to quilt. And I want to read. And I want to bake. And I barely have time for any of those things, let alone all of them. But I am trying to juggle. We’ll see how long I can keep everything in the air.

Feb. 29: It’s Leap Day, and I am determined not to waste an extra day in the year by doing nothing. So, along with making peanut butter cups and hoping to quilt yet today and maybe go for a walk, I have added 560 words to my current WIP, bringing my year-to-date word total up to 2,983 words and my daily average up to 49.71 words. I’m going to try to add to that before today is over. If not, then before the weekend is over. But I’m pleased that I’ve managed that many. 

March 7: So far today I haven’t managed any words. (I can hope that changes.) But, earlier this week, over the course of two days, I managed 599 words. That brings my yearly total today up to 3,582 words and my daily average to 53.46. 

March 11: On March 9 I managed 277 words. Today I added 363, for a combined 640 words. That brings the yearly total up to 4,222 words and my daily average up to 59.46 words. Slow but steady ...

March 15: Today I have added 579 words to my current WIP, which brings my yearly total up to 4,801 and my daily average to 64 words a day. (Though my doc says I have 5,108 words, so I’m not sure how to account for the missing 307 words. And, if I were to add them, it would push my word average to 68 words a day.)

April 16: I managed 1,031 words April 15 on a new WIP. (I would still be focused on my old WIP, except I have an exchange fic due at the end of May.) It took me a while to hit on an idea for the new one, but I’m happy with how it’s going so far. So, in the 106 days (as of April 15, not today) so far this year, I’ve written 5,832 words, for a daily average of 55.01 words a day. My average dropped in that month I apparently took off from writing, but I’m still above my daily average goal and my exchange fic is moving along, so I’m counting it as a win!

April 19: I have written another 1,339 words today on my exchange fic. Still quite a way to go, but it’s progress. I probably could keep writing -- conditions in my house are good at the moment. But I’ve been working on in for hours now (amid texting with friends and browsing Tumblr and Twitter), so I feel as if it’s a good time to stop and try something else for a bit. Anyway. That brings my yearly word count up to 7,171 words and my daily average (in 110 days) up to 65.19 words. I’m OK with that!

April 25: I’m developing a pattern, though not a bad one, I don’t think. I seem to be maxing out my writing sessions around 1,000 words before feeling the need to stop for the moment. Today, for example, I wrote 1,066 words. Not gonna complain about that, at all! It brings my year-to-date word total up to 8,237 words (in 116 days) and my daily word average to 71 words a day. I’m going to aim for more tomorrow, since I seem to manage to write on weekends more easily than I manage during the week. But we’ll see how things go.

April 26: I managed to write again today -- a good thing, since I rarely find time during the week and, thus, rely on weekends to get much of my writing done. I wrote 1,856 words (not including the ones I wrote to explain the ideas I have for the parts I haven’t yet written). That brings my yearly word total up to 10,093 words in 117 days, for a daily word average of 86.26 words. I’ll take it!

May 2: Well, I wrote 1,010 words today. None of them were for the exchange fic on which I should be working, but they were words. Words that I’m actually pretty pleased with, so I’m not feeling any regret about not focusing on my exchange fic. Today’s words bring me up to 11,103 words in 123 days, for a daily word average of 90.268. Fingers crossed I can find more time to write tomorrow -- and maybe on my exchange fic!

May 3: Well, I wrote another 1,023 words today and think I’ve finished (pending beta) the short little one-off that settled into my brain. That brings my word count for the year to 12,126 words in 124 days, for a daily average of 97.79 words. I’m still hoping to write more before the day is done, but I wanted to note this before I lost track of how many words I had in the first doc. Now ... on to my exchange fic. Update: I just added another 1,378 words to my exchange fic, which puts me at 2,401 words for the day and 13,504 words for the year. That raises my daily word average to 108.9 words a day. 

May 6: Over the past few days, I’ve written 474 words to put the finishing touches on something. That number’s deceptive, considering that some of those were new and some of them were replacing others already written and I honestly can’t be sure how many I actually wrote. But it was at least 474. Which brings my year-to-date word total up to 13,978 and my daily word average over 127 days to 110.06. The writing’s not what I would call “easy” right now. It’s not just flowing from my fingertips perfectly to grace my Gdocs. But it is happening, which means it’s not as hard as it has been at points during the past few years. I appreciate that.

May 9: I just added 1,051 words to my WIP. That brings me to a 130-day year-to-date word total of 15,029 and a daily word average of 115.6 words. I’m ... stunned.

May 16: I think I’ve finished my exchange fic. Today’s writing involved approximately 946 words, for an approximate year-to-date total of 15,975 words and a daily word average (in 137 days) of 116.6 words. (And my exchange deadline is still an astounding 15 days away. It’s not even a result of my “deadline’s approaching” panic-induced “inspiration”!) 

June 21: It seems like I’ve had a lull in writing (yes), but I finished my exchange fic and then spent some time beta-ing other exchange fics, so I wasn’t non-wordy during the past month. Still, it felt good today when I was able to add 579 words to the WIP I started in February. I also reworked a section, probably adding a few words, subtracting a few words, so I have no idea how many words I added there. And I think I have a workable route forward on finishing the WIP one of these days. (I won’t set a deadline, because artificial deadlines seem to freeze me as much as real ones inspire me.) Anyway ... 579 words added to the yearly word count makes for 16,554 words and a daily average (in 173 days) of 95.687 words a day. 

July 5: I finally had some time when things were quiet enough for me to focus on writing, so I did. I was at 1,214 words when the quiet went away. That gives a year-to-date word total of 17,768 words and a daily average (in 187 days) of 95.01 words. 

July 12: I’m still hoping to write more, but ... I went back and tweaked a conversation I wrote last week, adding 236 words. That brings me up to 18,004 words in 194 days for a daily average of 92.8 words.

July 21: I’m running behind in updating this, but ... on Sunday (July 19 -- happy birthday, BC!) I wrote 1,411 words on my current WIP. [It’s getting closer to done, but I’m still leery of my (made up) Aug. 1 deadline.] Those words bring me up to a yearly total of 19,415 words in 201 days, for a daily average of 96.59 words. I want to hope I get more written before the weekend, but ... it never seems to work. I managed to get my doc open Monday but didn’t add a word. It just sat there in a tab all day, watching me work. It’s open again today, but I’m not sure the result will be any different. Still, I’m trying!

P.S. I added another 555 words on July 21, bringing my word total (for 203 days) up to 19,970 words and a daily average of 98.37 words.

July 24: I’m surprising myself this week, managing to write a bit in the morning before work. (And letting a few minutes of writing time bleed into working time. But I was good and eventually closed out the doc to keep myself from straying away from work.) Anyway, on Thursday (yesterday/the 23rd), I wrote 779 words (and got a good chunk of my WIP’s ending written)! I still have to finish the ending and write an earlier scene, but ... it feels doable. The 779 words brings my word total for the year up to 20,749 words and a daily average (for 205 days) up to 101,21 words!

July 26: I am really trying to get this WIP finished. To that end, I have written 932 words so far today. I am optimistic that not many more will be needed and I hope maybe to write some of them today. Still, for now, that brings me to a year-to-date word total of 21,681 words and a daily average (in 207 days) of 104.73 words.

Aug. 2: I added 431 words to my WIP on Aug. 1, bringing my year-to-date word total up to 22,112 words and a daily average (in 213 days) of 103.8 words a day. (That was 213 days as of Aug. 1, not Aug. 2.) I had hoped to write some more today, but I’m not sure that’s going to happen. It’s ... complicated.

Aug. 19: No writing update. I’m kind of ... stuck. My WIP is either very nearly done or about to be razed to its foundation. I’m not sure which. While I decide, it’s sitting and I’m not writing. But I didn’t want this post to end up too far down my dash to find if/when I manage to string together words in a coherent fic-ly fashion again.

Sept. 6: Maybe it’s the three-day weekend allowing my brain a chance to relax and consider words, but, between today and Saturday/yesterday, I have managed 807 words on my WIP. I would like to think I’ll be able to add more before the weekend is done, but ... I’ll be happy with 807 words, if that’s what I end up with. It brings me to a year-to-date total of 22,919 words in 249 days, and a daily average of 92.04 words. Not as good as I’d like, but still well above my goal, so ... I’m OK with that! (And glad to be writing again, however slowly.)

Oct. 1: Between Sept. 30 and today, I have written 633 words. I still have a long way to go toward finishing this new thing (my WIP is on hold while I work on an exchange fic that is coming due alarmingly quickly, considering I just started writing it). That brings my year-to-date word total up to 23,552 words and my daily average (in 274 days) to 85.956 words. A bit lower than I had hoped, but they are words and I won’t complain.

Oct. 7: It’s been hard the past few days to keep track of a word count. I’ve basically been leaving my doc open all day every day and hoping that I manage to add a few words here and there. Along with adding some, I’ve subtracted some, I’ve tweaked some so they’re barely recognizable as having come from what was there before. But I have officially added 1,208 words since Oct. 1. That brings my year-to-date word total to 24,760 words and my daily average (in 280 days) to 88.4 words. I still have a long way to go on this WIP and not a long time in which to finish it, but it’s progress.

Oct. 11: OK, so ... I’m totally losing track of words gained. In the past few days, I added words. And then I subtracted words and added new words. And then I took a chunk of words and reworked them. I can say for sure that I have added 182 words. Though the reality is that there were many more than that written. Anyway. That’s 182 words added to the total word count to get 24,942 words in 284 days, That’s a daily average of 87.8 words. With 13 days left until I have to submit this WIP as a finished exchange gift. 

Oct. 17: I’m optimistic that I finished my current WIP (as opposed to the one that was a WIP before the current WIP and remains a WIP) this morning. If my beta agrees. Between edits and tweaks and the section I added this morning, I have no idea how many words that is. But, if I go back to when I started this WIP and add the current total to my word count as I started, I have written 26,588 words so far this year (not counting the ones I wrote and then edited or the ones I wrote and then deleted), for a daily average of 91.68 words in 290 days.

Oct. 18: My beta didn’t think I was quite done yesterday, but I was close, and I think I addressed her questions this morning. That’s another 291 words on Day 291 of the year. With a year-to-date word total of 26,879 words, that’s a daily word average of 92.367 words. 

Dec. 7: *sigh* My writing mojo has well and truly flown the coop. I think I need a vacation. But, while I have time to take (or lose) by the end of the year, work is too busy -- and too shorthanded -- for that to happen. So ... I muddle on. After submitting my exchange fic before Halloween, I haven’t really written anything new. Until I got an inkling of a thought for a scene at bedtime last night. I texted myself the bare bones and turned them into 451 words this morning. That’s not going to make up for not having written in close to two months, but ... it’s something. It’s 27,330 words in 342 days, for a daily word average of 79.679 words. I’m behind last year’s average, but still above my stated goal for the year (if not my hoped-for goal) and I still have time ... if I can find my focus.

Dec. 14: Baby steps. I’ve made no new progress on my WIP, but I did manage 518 words for an Advent fic prompt -- held over from 2019 because I only made it about halfway through them last December. That brings my yearly total to 27,848 words in 349 days (the way this day has started, I’m assuming there will be no time for non-work writing today), for a daily average of 79.79 words. Unless I somehow manage to finish the year strong, I’m not going to top last year’s average (and, not to seem pessimistic -- more realistic -- if it’s taken me 349 days to write nearly 28,000 words, I don’t see myself managing 13,000 words in the next 17 days. (That really would be a Christmas miracle.) But it is still well about my initial 43-words-a-day average and my “official” 50-words-a-day goal, even if I don’t write another word this year. So I will continue trying to write as I am able and try not to be too frustrated by how difficult words have seemed at large chunks of time this year.

Dec. 20: I tell myself that, with a handful of days before Christmas, I should be trying to write more of last year’s Advent fic. Or that cabin fic I’ve been pondering for months (well before the cabin fic fest was a thing). Instead, I managed 434 words on my WIP -- and count it as a win, even though I wish it were so much more. That brings me to 28,282 words in 255 days, for a daily average of 110.9 words a day. (That jump in average still doesn’t seem right, but apparently it is. It goes to show how even a relative few words can make a big difference.)

Dec. 31: Happy end to 2020. I am about to end the year having written far fewer words than I did in 2019. While I’m glad I managed to beat my daily word-average goal, and to some extent am pleased that I managed to write anything at all, I had been hoping for more. I have the ideas. (Well, a couple of ideas.) And I have a WIP that I think I’ll really like -- if I can pull it off. But the words don’t want to come. So I’m trying to be OK with writing about 25 percent* less than I did in 2019, recognizing that it’s still more than I wrote in the majority of years since 2012. And 2021 is a new year in which I can try again to write more (and hopefully better) words. (* That percentage depends on what measure I use. According to AO3, I’ve posted 20,000 fewer words than 2019′s 47,000. Which is pushing a loose 50 percent drop. But I know I have about 7,000 words in my unposted WIP, which brings the difference closer to 13,000, which I’m loosely considering 25 percent.)

#Batik96 babbles about life #and writing

[saveyourblood]

Stolen Dance | Part 8

Summary: “Maybe this was a pipe dream, a delusion you’d soon awake from or a phase you’d outgrow. You didn’t really care. For a brief moment in time, you were in love. That’s what you chose to care about. That what you made matter.”

The one where you’re a paramedic, he’s an FBI agent, and the time you spend together is borrowed.

Word Count: 4.8k

Song: Moving On - Kodaline

Warnings: a few parts of this chapter (mostly, a single scene) are pretty disturbing. It's nothing worse than what is mentioned in Criminal Minds, but it's graphic. If it gets to be too much for you, skip to this: *** (the scene will also start with this symbol if you want to skip it altogether). Take care of yourself <3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

_____________________

Syria, 2014

“Are all girls from Colorado this rough, or is it just you?”

“Shut up, Austin.”

Austin laughed.

It was weird — soldiers buzzed around you like bees in a hive, but whenever you and Austin got the chance to talk, it was like you and him were the only people in the room. You just wished you could talk to him under better circumstances.

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Austin continued. “The last guy you treated walked out of here looking like Frankenstein.”

“Without me, he would’ve been rolled out,” you retorted. You pulled at the sutures tightly, causing him to wince.

“Alright, alright,” he ceded with a chuckle, “I get it. But if you mess up my face, my mama will come after you.”

“I would never mess up a handsome face like yours,” you said sweetly as you worked at the cut on his cheekbone. “Why would I ruin a man’s only asset?”

“You wound me, Y/N,” Austin said, setting a hand over his heart. “You wound me to my core.” 

You snorted, laying a bandage over the sutures. You patted his shoulder. “You’re good to go, soldier.” 

Austin stood up from the gurney, grabbing his button-down digital camo shirt. He draped it over his arm, which you swore was the width of your head. As if that wasn’t enough, he towered over you: he was at least 6’4, and built like a tank. You once said he was the Army’s wet dream. You got a good laugh out of that remark.

Austin bowed slightly and tipped an imaginary hat. “Thank you, m’lady,” he said, accentuating his preexisting southern drawl. 

You shoved his shoulder with a smile. “Get out of here, Crow.”

He smiled, his white teeth contrasting his dark hair. “See you around, Y/L/N.”

“Hopefully not too soon,” you replied. 

“What, you don’t want to look at this pretty face?” He asked, fluttering his eyelashes.

“Not really, no,” you laughed. You cleared your throat. “Seriously, Austin: Don’t be a hero.” 

He nodded, respecting your change of tone. “Yes ma’am,” he agreed, before walking out of the triage tent and right back into danger.

You sighed, picking up and putting away your equipment.

Some days, you wished more than anything else that the two of you met under different circumstances. You wished he moved to Colorado with his family when he was a teenager, or that the two of you met in a small cafe in a big city. Hell, you’d even be okay if you met during Basic Training, the two of you fell in love, and he worked on a local reserve while you persued a different career. Really, you just wished you hadn’t met while serving in Syria, because no matter how you spinned it, it just wasn’t appropriate. 

Austin was a Staff Sergeant, which technically meant he ranked higher than you. However, the two of you worked in different areas; Austin was a combat soldier, while you were a medic. He fought on the frontline, you mostly worked triage. You took care of men like him. So, even though the Army may not forbid an affair between the two of you, that didn’t mean you thought it was okay. It felt like… corruption, like you were breaking the trust between you and your brothers. You didn’t want anyone for a single second to feel like they were less important to you.

So, you pushed your feelings aside. You savored the moments you spent with Austin, but you didn’t push it. You didn’t seek him out, you didn’t play favorites. You enjoyed the time you spent with him, but said time was brief, as it should be. 

You sighed again. He was a charming Texas boy with a heart of gold. How could a person not fall in love with him? 

“The longer this goes on, the worse it gets.”

You and Austin watched a new batch of soldiers go through training. They were already deemed fit for combat, so the next few weeks would be spent teaching them the ins-and-outs of living and serving in an active warzone. Today’s lesson? IEDs. 

“I know,” you agreed, voices low as to not distract. “It started as peaceful protests against a President, and now more than half a million people are dead.”

“70 airstrikes later,” Austin said with a sigh. “Sometimes… nevermind.”

“What?” you asked. When he didn’t respond, you nudged his shoulder. “Sing your annoying song, Crow.”

He smirked, but didn’t quite laugh; the sound he made was that of a scoff. “Sometimes I wonder what the hell I’m even doing here.” 

“Me too,” you said softly. 

_____________________

The two of you found some downtime; Austin wouldn’t be heading out with his team until later in the afternoon, and after a busy morning, your tent was hitting a lull. The two of you decided to eat lunch together in an empty triage tent lined with gurneys. 

You sat on the ground beside each other, boots sunken into the mix of dirt and sand that made up the ground. Austin sat cross legged, and his knee brushed against your calf as you bounced your foot up and down.

“You gonna use that cheese?” He asked, referring to a silver packet you set on the ground.

“No,” you said, dumping your chicken fajita mix into your cooked rice packet. “Shit’s disgusting.”

Austin picked up the packet and tore it open with his teeth. He spread the fake, overly yellow ‘cheese’ spread onto a weird, fake pork sandwich he was making. The bread looked more like play-doh than bread, and the barbecue sauce he used was almost black. MREs: the epitome of luxury dining.

“That is nasty,” you remarked.

“Sometimes, you gotta take what you can get,” Austin said. He picked up a packet of clam chowder that had been heating up in its bag for awhile. He opened it and stirred it around before taking a spoonful and plopping it right on over the cheese spread. He finally closed the sandwich and took a massive bite.

“I’m gonna gag,” you stated bluntly. 

He frowned. “Why?” he asked through a mouthful of food.

“That is vile, Austin,” you said. “You just put clam chowder on a sandwich! With barbecue sauce and cheese! That’s so gross!”

He offered you the sandwich. “Wanna bite?” 

You tucked your chin against your chest and leaned back, shaking your head. “Get that away from me.” 

_____________________

To say the night was busy would be more than an understatement; 4 men from the same troop were rushed to triage, all with similar injuries caused by IEDs. One of the men ultimately ended up a double amputee, one leg blown off above the kneecap and the other being so damaged that most of the calf had to be removed. Somehow, a man from the same troop ended up with only minor lacerations. War was strange that way; you step on an IED the ‘right’ way, and it’s something you can walk away from. If you don’t, you could die.

“Alright everyone, we have 6 more soldiers coming in!” Your Lieutenant Colonel shouted. “All non-emergent patients should be transferred. Let’s hope for the best, prepare for the worst.”

You helped ‘reset’ a few stations, making sure they were clean and ready. When the men still hadn’t arrived, you approached Colonel Todd.

“Colonel,” you asked, catching her attention. “What else do you know?”

“Best guess? Task Force 221,” she replied, signing a few papers when someone handed her a clipboard. “Crow and his boys were out patrolling, Folks don’t take too kindly to soldiers around here.”

Your heart sank.

The men from Task Force 221 came in at the same time, and they were loaded out of the truck and onto gurneys one by one. You got assigned to the first person, which happened to be Austin himself.

“Go, help them,” Austin protested, already trying to get off the gurney. “I’m okay, just help my boys!”

You pushed him down by his chest as you and two other people rolled him inside. 

“Can I get a dose of Lidocaine, please?” you instructed, cutting away Austin’s already torn pants. So far, you saw two GSWs: one to the left lower leg, and one to the right calf. You adjusted the light above you to get a better look. “Make it two doses.” 

“I’m fine,” Austin pushed, once again trying to stand up.

“Austin Crow, I swear to god, I will tie you down if I have to,” you threatened. “You’re not fine — you’ve been shot. Sometimes, to take care of your team, you have to take care of yourself first.”

He laid back with a sigh.

Three hours passed before you could properly speak to Austin. After pulling the bullets from both his legs, you ran around trying to help people wherever and however you could. Eventually, you found the sweet spot where no one was critical but everyone was still busy. You managed to slip away and pull the curtains around Austin’s bed.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” you hissed under your breath.

“...What?”

“I heard what you did,” you said. “Your lieutenants were more than happy to tell me exactly how you got shot.” 

“By doing my job?” Austin asked. 

“You put yourself in the line of fire!” you argued. “You ran right into danger!”

“To help someone,” he explained calmly. “No man gets left behind, Y/N. You know that.” 

“You could have died!” you said between clenched teeth. You were trying to keep your voice down, but his apathy was driving you crazy. “God, what is it with you? The same day I take out your stitches, you come in with two gunshot wounds. What’s next, Austin? You want me to plan your funeral? Write to your parents, tell them how you died a hero?” 

“Why are you so pissed at me?” Austin asked. He seemed more confused than angry.

The words fell out before you could stop them. “Because I love you!” 

He didn’t say anything, just stared at you. You laughed bitterly. 

“There,” you said, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Cat’s out of the bag.” You sighed, setting your hand down and looking him in the eye. “I think… I’m in  love with you, and I don’t want to see you dead.”

Silence fell. Austin looked away, looked back to you, looked away again, and clenched his jaw. You crossed your arms in self-defense, heart pounding as you waited for him to say something, anything.

Austin scooted over, then patted the space beside him. “Come here.”

You approached the bed, slowly and carefully sliding next to him. It was almost too small for Austin by himself, let alone with another person, so your weight ended up mostly on him. He didn’t seem to mind, though.

Austin’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to his body. He buried his face in your hair, taking a long breath. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’ll do better. I promise.” 

_____________________

This wasn’t supposed to happen. 

You were only covering for someone, a temporary replacement until a new combat medic was hired. Austin was hesitant; he wasn’t sure if you were cut out for the job. You assured him you’d be fine, that you went through the same training everyone else did, and that it wasn’t permanent.

You were an amazing combat medic. You tied every tourniquet tight, you took care of men until they could be shipped off the triage. The Colonel in charge of Task Force 221 commended you, said you could be a real fit for the field. 

Austin didn’t agree. The two of you had been secretly dating for about a month, and it was the first real fight the you got into. You said you were seriously considering accepting a job as a combat medic, and Austin disagreed. You could tell this fight wouldn’t be like the last one — you weren’t about to kiss him and tell him everything would be alright.

“What, only you get to do the dirty work?” you asked. “Only you get make some real change?”

“This isn’t about glory, Y/N,” Austin sighed, running a hand through his cropped hair. “It’s about keeping you alive.”

“Now you know how I feel!” you argued, laughing at the irony. “It’s scary, isn’t it, Austin?! You want more than anything to pull me off of the battlefield, put me somewhere in this godforsaken country were I can be at least somewhat safe?!”

He clenched his jaw and looked away.

“I’m gonna take that job,” you stated, “and I’m only quitting when you do.” 

Now, you were here, in a place you didn’t know, but you knew you didn’t like.

“Y/N?” you heard someone call weakly.

“Austin?!” you said, trying your hardest not to burst into tears. You couldn’t see anything, so hearing his voice was a massive relief. 

Your memory came back in pieces: you saw Austin walk ahead to secure the area, but he ended up stepping on and IED. Without even thinking, you ran ahead, despite the yells and other protests of the men beside you. 

“Hey, baby,” you said gently, looking him up and down.  It took everything in you not to gag or faint.

He stepped right on the edge of the IED, meaning his left leg was blown off to right below the kneecap.  The exposed muscle was shredded, and his bone stuck out like a morbid fence post.

“You’re gonna be fine,” you promised, taking out your tourniquet. Just like you had been instructed what felt like decades ago, you pulled it as tight as you physically could to stop any more blood loss. 

Austin moaned in pain and mumbled a few words you couldn’t understand. When you looked up to call for help, the butt of a gun connected with the back of your head, effectively knocking you out. 

You woke up here.

“It was a trap,” Austin said, voice rough and quiet. 

“We’re gonna get out of here, okay?” you promised. “Half of the fucking Army is probably looking for us right now.”

After what felt like hours, someone came in to remove your blindfold. You could finally get a good look at Austin, and it made your heart pound in your ears. He didn’t look good. Things would get ugly if he didn’t get proper medical attention soon. 

“Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you,” you said immediately. “Just let me help him.”

A man dressed in all black began to yell at you in Arabic. You could only make out a few words — work, plan, and money. He paused, most likely to give you time to answer. When you didn’t, he punched you across the face.

“No,” Austin said weakly. “Stop it.”

You spat some blood onto the floor, your entire head throbbing. “Don’t worry,” you said, then looked to your attack. “I can take it.” 

_____________________

Present Day

“They didn’t get anything out of me by punching,” you said, staring at the light above your bed. You sounded detached, like you were talking about a movie you watched rather than recalling the worst day of your life. You supposed that’s how you coped with it — you pretended it wasn’t real, that it never really happened. “Even when they brought in someone who spoke English, I didn’t talk.”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. You adjusted the bed to a sitting position awhile ago, but you still felt vulnerable.

“You can stop,” Spencer offered, gently taking your hand. It was taped up and gloved, as it was the hand they put an IV in, so his touch was more delicate than usual. 

You shook your head. “I want to tell you everything,” you promised. “It’s just hard to think about. It’s hard to remember.” You took in a breath. “When the punching didn’t work, they moved on to whipping. And when that didn’t work…”

_____________________

***

Syria, 2014

Your back stung and your head throbbed. You hoped that eventually, you’d pass out, but unfortunately, that didn’t happen. Either your pain tolerance was too high, or the breaks they took between the methods of torturing were enough to keep you conscious.

“Get her on the ground,” one man growled. 

You groggily put together that there were three men in the room, all of them equally pissed. They probably thought you’d be easy to crack. 

The fresh wounds on your back hurt even more when they connected with the dirt; you could practically feel the infection in your skin forming. You gritted your teeth, barely able to refrain from making noise. You didn’t want to give them the satisfaction. 

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, someone began to pull down your pants. In that very moment, you prayed for a heart attack, for your body to give out completely. This, on top of everything else? You wouldn’t be able to take it.

“That’s enough!” Austin shouted, so loud that it practically shook the walls. “I’ll tell you what you want to know. Just get the hell away from her.” 

Austin gave up the location of the base, as well as other details they wanted, like what patrols and other missions had been scheduled. Apparently, all they wanted was to get the upper hand, strike before Austin or anyone else’s task force could. It made you wonder what they did when information was time-sensitive.

They slammed the heavy door behind them, and immediately, you burst into tears. You rolled onto your side and curled into a ball, shirt in shreds from the whipping. You stayed in that position for so long that your arm and legs fell asleep, but you didn’t really care. You wanted to feel nothing right about now.

“Y/N,” Austin called, for what was probably the millionth time. You tuned out everything around you, only the sound of static filling your ears.

You sat up lifelessly, a blank stare on your face.

“Come here,” he said.

You crawled over to Austin, your concern for him trumping both the physical and mental pain you were in. It had only been a few hours at most, but he already looked worse. His face was pale, lips dry, and despite the tourniquet, he seemed to have lost quite a bit of blood. 

“What do you need?” you asked. 

“Can you take off my shirt?” He asked.

It was a weird request, but you obliged. You lifted up the hem of his shirt, and carefully, you pulled it above his head. You managed to get it off without having to lift his arms too high.

“Put it on,” Austin instructed.

You smiled through a few new tears. 

It was damp with sweat, meaning it was entirely sanitary, but more than anything, you appreciated the sentiment. You slid it over your head, slipping your arms through each hole. Unsurprisingly, it was massive on you — the sleeves were technically short, but they almost hit your elbow. 

“Sit by me,” he said, tilting his head to the empty space beside him. 

You did as you were told, careful not to lean back and inflict more pain.

“Closer.”

You laughed, wiping your nose as tears streamed down your face. You scooted closer to him, lifting one of his arms and slinging it around your shoulders. You curled into his chest, and despite the sweltering heat, you found comfort in his warmth. 

“Hey, Y/N?” Austin asked, voice raspy.

You looked up. “Yeah?”

“I’m in love with you too.”

It didn’t occur to you, but ‘love’ hadn’t come out of either of your mouths since the night you first admitted it. You spent countless hours in each other’s presence, but it hadn’t come up. You didn’t Austin to say a word in order to prove how much he cared about you — he showed it. It was implied.

And now, it was over.

_____________________

***

Present Day

“It took them 18 hours to find us,” you said. A few tears made their way down your cheek. You wiped them and continued on. “I think Austin died halfway through it.” 

The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop; you thought Spencer was afraid to even breathe. 

“I stayed by his body until someone found us,” you said. “I managed to fall asleep a few times, and every time I woke up, mice were eating his skin. As if his leg being blown off wasn’t bad enough.” you paused. “I think his blood started to spoil. Is that possible? I don’t know. I think the heat was cooking him, though. It didn’t take long for his skin to start rotting.”

Your face contorted, and you stifled a sob. “I wanted to save him, Spencer,” you cried, clutching his hand. “I really did. They just wouldn’t let me.” 

Almost immediately, Spencer joined you on the bed. He pulled you against him, arms tight around you like a barricade. You gripped his shoulders as you cried into his chest.

“None of this is your fault, you hear me?” Spencer said. “None of it is your fault.” 

You weren’t sure how long the two of you stayed like that. Eventually, you stopped sobbing, but the occasional tear still rolled down your cheek. Spencer held you throughout it all.

Eventually, you felt Spencer lift his head from the pillow. You looked up to see the team standing at the nurses’ station. Any other day, you would have pushed him aside and invited them in. Today, though, you just sniffed and moved closer to him. 

Spencer kissed your hair and continued to hold you close. They’d get the memo.

_____________________

The hospital kept you overnight for observation, but by daylight, you were discharged with a clean bill of health. Sometime during the night, Emily and JJ swung by to drop you off a change of clothes, which you were eternally grateful for. 

Spencer didn’t leave your side the entire night. He waited outside the bathroom when you changed, he held your hand as you took the elevator ride down to the lobby, and he sat in the middle of the backseat on the cab ride home. You stared out the window the entire time, but you kept a hand on his knee. 

As you stared at the multi-colored, almost bare trees, you realized something: life goes on. People were waking up and heading to their 9-5, and their biggest concern was what to make for dinner later that day. Some of them had a violent or traumatic past, just like you did, but that wasn’t how they lived their life. You and everyone else alive did the same thing: you woke up, and you tried your best. Sometimes, that’s all anyone can do. And that’s enough. 

“The rest of the team is going over to Rossi’s tonight; he’s making spaghetti,” Spencer said as the two of you entered the apartment. “We can go, if you want. Or we can stay here all day. We shouldn’t have a case until tomorrow. Even so, I’m sure Hotch would understand if you took some time off.”

“Spencer?” you asked.

“Yeah?”

“I’m okay,” you promised. “Everything I told you is something I’ve been reliving for the past 2 years. Talking about it didn’t dredge anything up. Actually, if anything, it helped. It’s like… I don’t know, a weight was lifted off of me. I feel like I can start to move on, finally.” 

He smiled faintly. “Good,” he nodded, “I’m glad.” 

You set your arms on his shoulders. “I’d love to go to Rossi’s for dinner,” you said. “But first, I need your help with something.” 

“Anything.” 

You played with your hands. “Ever since I got back, I’ve been thinking of visiting Austin’s family. It took me 6 months to go back to work after what happened — I can’t imagine what it was like for them to lose a child. I thought they needed some time before I brought everything back up. I think I’m ready now. At least, I’m ready if they are.”

“And that’s what you need my help with,” Spencer concluded.

You nodded. “I don’t know how to get in contact with them. Honestly, I was just gonna start by googling them.” 

“Over 45 million members of Generation X use Facebook,” Spencer said. “I think we should start there.” 

_____________________

“I swear, I am never letting you go,” Garcia said as she hugged you. For someone who was normally so soft, in that moment, she could crush all of your bones. 

“Come on, baby girl,” Derek chuckled, “we all get a turn. And Y/N needs to breathe.”

With a pout, Garcia let go of you. JJ, who was standing next to her, extended her arms. You pulled her into a short but sweet hug. Spencer wasn’t joking: this team was a family. 

“We didn’t get to see you in the hospital!” Emily exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around you. 

“I wasn’t there for long,” you said, pulling away. “Besides, I wasn’t really in the mood for visitors. No offense.” 

“None taken.” 

Derek hugged you next. His massive arms wrapped around you, and as you briefly relaxed into his chest, his chin rested on top of your head. A small, warm smile crossed your face. He was like the older brother you never had. 

“Hey, can I talk to you?” He asked as the two of you parted. 

Though surprised, you nodded. “Yeah, of course. You wanna step outside for a sec?” 

Derek nodded. 

“Don’t be too long!” Rossi called from the kitchen. “The show’s about to begin!”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” you promised. 

As you followed Derek onto the porch, you noticed Spencer talking to Hotch. You gave him a small wave, which he returned with a look of confusion. You raised your index finger, a silent way of telling him you’d be just a second.

“What’s up, Derek?” you asked, closing the door behind you.

“Are you okay?” He asked. “And I mean really okay, not the ‘okay’ that gets you out of a conversation.” 

You took a few steps, resting your arms on the porch railing. “I think I am,” you said, looking over your shoulder. “Why do you ask?”

Derek moved to stand beside you. He pressed his palms to the smooth wood. “Maybe you didn’t see us at the hospital, but we saw you,” he said. “I’ve never seen someone who was so sad to be alive.” 

“It wasn’t that,” you promised. “I mean, it was for awhile, but not anymore.”

“What’s going on?” Derek pressed, bumping you shoulder with his. “Something’s eating at you. I can tell.” 

“I lost a friend,” you said simply, “when I was in Syria. I watched him die.”

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, setting a hand over yours. “That’s awful.”

“It was,” you agreed, “and ever since I got back, I’ve been trying to figure out why I’m alive and he isn’t. He had a set of happily married parents and two beautiful sisters to come home to. I’m an only child, and my father was six feet under. He had so many people that cared about him — the only person who would have really missed me was my mom. It didn’t seem fair, ya know?”

He nodded. “I know. Believe me, I know.” 

Derek shifted his footing. You nudged his shoulder.

“Something’s eating at you: I can tell,” you joked.

He chuckled softly. “Fair enough.” He paused. “I watched my dad die. One day, he picked me up early from school. I asked him if we could go to the convenience store. When we got inside, there was a woman being robbed.  My dad was a cop, so he stepped in,  hoping he could diffuse the situation. The robber shot him.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, squeezing his hand. “How old were you?”

“10,” Derek answered. “It took me a long time to move on; I was lost without my father. I thought if  I had toughed it out until the bell rang, maybe my dad would still be alive. The older I got, though, the more I realized that it didn’t matter. What matters is what I do about it. So, I shaped up. I started solving problems instead of creating them. Maybe I’m biased, but I like to think I did an okay job.”

“You did an amazing job,” you said with a smile. “You’re a good man, Derek Morgan. Your father would be proud of you.”

“So would yours,” Derek returned. He slung an arm over your shoulders, pulling you close to kiss the top of your head. 

_____________________

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[starlling-writes]

Bewitching Monsters - Deity (O’dos) Part 3

Series Rating: 18+ Chapter Contains: brief manhandling, drinking, minor swearing, drug use (psychedelic mushrooms) Pairing: f/fluid BeMo Masterlist   ☆  Writing Masterlist

I ended up at the Laughing Grove—the brasserie Valzok took me to. Caera and Aleril had likely followed me but they were giving me room. My distant headspace must be that obvious.

Citra was working tonight. He brought me my first drink and asked what was wrong. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. He didn’t pry, but said if it was something Valzok did, he’d be happy to kick his ass for me. That actually made me smile.

The live music tonight was a lovely guitar and piano duet. Both of the girls sang too. Their music was soft and warm. Combined with the alcohol, most of my anxieties were lulled away. My gaze wandered around the room. A few couples were slow dancing on the dance floor. Many people were here on dates too. Seeing so much love muddled my heart. I finished off my drink and left.

“So melancholic.” I jumped and looked at O’dos. They were making a habit of just popping in today. This time, they wore the guise of an androgynous drow in simple clothing. “Are you truly that adverse to our agreement?”

“I don’t want to be a shitty mother,” I confessed. “I don’t wanna ruin someone else’s life because family is a foreign concept to me.”

“You have no need to worry, dear witchling. I know you. You will do fine.”

The sentiment was appreciated, but the words wouldn’t sink in. How could a deity understand when I couldn’t even articulate all my troubles? O’dos’s dark laugh echoed in my head. I flinched, noticing now I was no longer walking through town. We were in the void I often communicated with them in.

“For someone of your level, you hold much doubt over yourself.”

“Is this an intervention now?”

“No,” they answered a little too quickly and flippantly. “Your troubles are your own to handle. I am only concerned with those inhibiting our deal.”

I began wondering if there was a bit of fea in them—or maybe fae got it from the gods. “I wouldn’t say anything is inhibiting it; I’m just…hesitant, to meet this future. There are just so many unknowns.”

“Is that not life?”

I probably shouldn’t tell my patron deity to fuck off. Their smartassery was irksome, yet refreshing, helping to pull my mind from my worries. I met their gaze. There was more wisdom and knowledge swirling around in their eyes than I could ever wish to obtain. If they weren’t worried, then perhaps everything would be fine. Surely they knew better than I.

O’dos cupped my cheek and smiled softly. “One week, witchling.”

“And here I thought you were all out of kindness,” I joked.

Before I knew it, their hand was fisted in my hair, jerking my head back. They stepped closer, leaving half a breath between us. “Do not test me.”

I should have felt threatened. Not horny. Although… given the circumstances, being turned on right now was appropriate. It was ill timed, and influenced by alcohol, but fuck—it sent a delicious shock through me to be manhandled by them.

“One week,” O’dos repeated before vanishing and sending me home.

 The next few days I kept my work door closed and isolated myself from most everyone. I needed deep introspection. The first couple days I tried the simpler approaches: meditation, journaling, divination. Those efforts didn’t get me far. I was getting no sense of hardships in this endeavor, yet something was keeping my heart from being at ease.

I prepared some mushrooms for myself the following day. I was surprised to find I still had any lying around. Many disagree with such methods, but using mushrooms was the best way I found to connect deeply with myself.

“Don’t let me be outside for more than an hour,” I told Caera.

“I still can’t believe you’re going out in this cold, Mistress.”

There was a small flurry going on, but I needed to be out in nature. “That’s why I said an hour at most. Just… have some cocoa ready for me when I come back in, please.”

“Of course."

I took the shrooms and turned on some music. Might as well dance a bit and get myself loose while I wait for the come up. And now that Caera had a body, she could dance with me. We swayed and twirled. I couldn’t remember the last time I danced with someone. Was it with Aero during Brumalis? Maybe. Though I would’ve been drunk then; and I’m almost high now… I needed to dance with others again when I’m sober. I needed to dance more.

My thoughts drifted and soon geometric runes started to dance in my vision. The drugs were kicking in. Time to brave the cold. But the music was so nice. And dancing with Caera was—

No! I had work to do. This wasn’t the occasion for fun.

It was a challenge to pull away from her. Especially knowing I was about to venture out into the dark winter night. I made two small balls of light to float around me and stepped outside.

The snow was barely falling now; the light caught the puffy flakes in a magical way. I could still hear the music playing inside. So I danced. The snow floated around me like flecks in water. I started to feel like I was floating too. Closing my eyes, I saw rainbow light filtering down through ocean waves, breaking into beautiful patterns. The designs gradually turned into an array of strobing, bioluminescent sea life. Fish, whales, turtles, jellyfish—so many creatures danced with me now.

A deep rumble brought me out of my trance. Vérus stood before me. “What are you doing?” he asked while I was distracted by the fading light trails of a school of fish.

“Dancing.”

“I meant, why are you outside?”

“Cuz I’m tripping on mushrooms and being outside helps me connect to nature better which will help me connect with my inner-self better and I need to do that cuz I have a lot of thinking and introspection I need to work on within the next four days,” I rambled.

He slowly blinked. “Did you take my ichor?”

“No, why?—Wait!” I gasped. “Would that help? By the moon, your ichor is gonna be a lot more useful than I thought. How do I take it though? Do I make a tea, or a tincture, or bake it in bread or something, or burn it like incense—”

“Stop,” he cut me off. “That is the opposite of what I meant. You need to go back inside.” He walked to my house and was about to let himself in when he looked back and noticed I had gone back to dancing in the snow. With a heavy sigh, he came and grabbed my arm to drag me along.

“Oh good, I was just about to go get you,” Caera said.

“It’s been an hour already?”

“Yes, Mistress.”

Huh, normally time felt slower when I tripped. I took the mug of cocoa from her and settled into the chair closest to the fire. My toes were freezing.

“And why are you doing all this?” Vérus asked dully.

That put a sharp damper on my trip. Why was he still here? I took a moment to stare at the fire before answering. “I’m going to be a mother soon.”

I knew what he had to be thinking. His unspoken questions made my skin crawl—it was like thousands of tiny spiders crawling over and nibbling at me. I immediately forced that imagery from my mind before the drugs made it worse. It threw me off a bit when he coolly asked, “And this required such… introspection, why?”

“I don’t know how to parent!” I slammed my mug down on the table, some cocoa sloshing out. “I don’t wanna fuck up. I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

Vérus knelt on one knee before me and turned my face to look at him when I tried to look away. He was so close now. Runes ran down in face in the most intriguing patterns. “Witch. I’m not in the habit of giving compliments. That said—your skills are greater than any witch I’ve seen before. Your consideration draws others to you. I do not foresee you failing such a thing.”

He left me truly speechless for a moment. I still wasn’t used to him being this friendly. “This… is the weirdest trip I have ever had.”

— — —

BeMo Masterlist   ☆  Writing Masterlist Story:  Previous   —   Next Character Arc:  Part 1   Part 2   [Here]  Part 4

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