#the 'two phrases' scene means so much to me. Its about realizing that there are times you *need* to put your pride aside

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Jin Ling: Master Sleuth

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jin ling #When you're so good at acting gay that you manage to fool even *this* fruity kid #Jin Ling's internalized homophobia once again saves the day #What a world we live in. #Jin Ling really said “Sorry my uncle's gaydar is so bad. Go out and frolic in the forest or whatever.” #Sure MXY's reputation helps out *and* the fact wwx was playing into that reputation #but at this point wwx has not caught feelings. This might imply that JL might actually have a good gaydar #The power is stored in his antenna. It's actually magnetized and repelled by magnetic forces similar to its own. #I ended up cutting it from the script but I really love the convo that follows this moment. #the 'two phrases' scene means so much to me. Its about realizing that there are times you *need* to put your pride aside #It doesn't matter if you feel its 'cringe' or makes you look bad. You can't connect with others up high on your self-made pedestal #I could go on but I'll leave it there for now B*)

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 1 ~ Introductions

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 1

✧ Word Count : 4.2k

In this chapter ~ In a life full of unexpected turns, this one by far hit Rose the hardest. A disease begins to spread when the dead are somehow brought back to life, that alone being the tip of the iceberg of what she remains to be faced with. When it all leads to her fighting for her life in Atlanta, she meets a group that ends up saving her from what she thought was the end of her rope. But when they bring her along for their great escape out of the dead infested city, she's faced with a decision that seemed to be more difficult than she first realized.

AN ~ Hi! So this is my very first post and series on tumblr and I’m still very much trying to get the feel of things lol. I originally uploaded the first two seasons of this fanfiction to wattpad and am still uploading frequently there, but I also wanted to give this a try as well. Just putting it on a different platform for more people to see:)

I will admit before you read, I started writing this story a little while ago so the phrasing and writing might be a little rusty at first seeing as I was just starting out. But I promise it gets better as it goes on, trust me! I hope whoever reads this grows to love it as much as I do. I will be uploading here as much as I can and adjusting to the new feel of things on here as quick as I can.

And I think that’s all for now! I hope you enjoy!

Fear.

That's the only emotion anyone ever feels anymore, or that's at least what I believe. Considering I've been on my own since the beginning, fear is something that I've had to grow accustomed to. And the world going to shit only made me realize how alone I truly was. Sure, I had a family but ever since I grew up and left them completely, I've never liked to talk about them much, mostly because they didn't care about me whatsoever. I mean, I'm on my own for a reason.

But I knew how to take care of myself pretty well and I was always silently thankful for that. I couldn't imagine living in this world and not knowing how to fight, or fend for yourself, so I considered myself lucky. I caught on quickly when it came time to start killing the dead, the very first time I had taken one out still haunts me to this day, the first feeling of fear I had felt in a very long time. I've learned the hard way that you never quite shake the feeling.

I had a day off from work, which was rare, and I was just in my apartment painting while the T.V. played quietly in the background. But then the whole atmosphere changed, nearly in a split second it felt like. My ears instantly perked up when I heard blood curdling screams coming from the hallway just outside, instantly sending me flying to the front door to press my ear up against the surface. Though when the screams didn't die down, I slowly opened my door to see two disgusting looking corpses going after a few of my neighbors. I froze at the scene in front of me.

They were trying to fight them off with random weapons clutched tightly in their hands, flinching away as they tried desperately to push them back, screaming in utter terror. A part of me was torn, not wanting to step in and actually kill these things that looked exactly like us. People. But these things were no longer human, anyone could see that from a mile away.

I snapped back into reality and rushed into my apartment to grab a large steak knife from my kitchen drawer, trying to help them kill whatever the hell these things were. Rushing into the hallway, I shoved the thing up against the wall to get it away from the small group that had formed around it, causing it to growl loudly as it looked directly at me. Goosebumps formed on my skin at the sight, quickly twirling the knife around to stab it in the chest, but it continued to flail around in my grasp. My eyes widened as the thing didn't seem the least bit phased, trying again and again desperately to get its clawing hands away from me.

But finally it a fit of aggravation, I took my knife and stabbed it right in between its eyes, silencing it completely as it fell limp out of my hold and onto the carpeted floor. My breathing was heavy as the others continued to panic loudly from just behind my head, but I stayed completely still as I couldn't take my eyes away from the thing. I felt disgusting, horrified, and clueless all at once. Though one thing I did know was that I couldn't stay here.

I didn't hesitate then to storm back into my home and pack a larger bag full of my stuff to evacuate, knowing that this couldn't have just been happening here. Curiosity got the better of me as I flipped through the T.V. channels quickly, landing on the news which showed utter chaos and live footage of these things attacking more people. My heart seemed to stop for a moment as I watched, seeing that the world was nearly coming to an end as tanks were flooding down the streets, trying to take these things out and put an end to it before it spread.

I didn't know what to do, or where I would go, but I wanted to get as far away from here as possible. Looking into the dead eyes of the monster really didn't sit too well with me.

Though after that day, life was never the same. The dead slowly took over everything, killing off anyone they could get a hold of and silencing the world completely. Leaving everyone left alive utterly terrified and alone.

Two whole months had passed since the dreaded outbreak, and I found myself to be moving constantly. Never staying in the same place for too long, before packing up to move on and stay alive. That's truly all that mattered anymore.

I somehow ended up in the city of Atlanta just passing through the large structures hoping to gather some supplies before moving on all over again. But what I didn't expect was to see hundreds of walkers filling the streets instead. My eyes widened at the sight as soon as I turned the corner, hoping to just silently slip away as I backed up from the giant swarm of them. But a few of their heads turned as they somehow spotted me, and then the "few" turned into a shit ton.

I practically sprinted in the other direction as fast as I could, slipping in between a few buildings to try and escape the many that chased me with outstretched hands. But I quickly realized that the space I ran into was an alley, blocking off the other side in which I planned to escape. My stomach flipped as I slowly turned back around to face the dead, seeming to accept my fate as I was trapped and had no escape.

And that brings me to today. No, I didn't die...but if I'm being honest a part of me wished that I had.

Instead of feeling the corpse's dead fingers tearing into me, a few live people came out of nowhere in the tall building to my right and began killing off the corpses one by one, right before my eyes. I stood completely still as I thought at first I might be dreaming, but one of the men quickly grabbing my arm and pulling me along like a rag doll told me it was far from that.

Anyone else would be grateful for these people being at the right place at the right time, but I didn't work too well with others so grateful isn't really the word I would use.

So, currently you could say I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place as I racked my brain, trying to figure out how to get out of the situation I was put in. One of the men that had saved me was wearing a God awful hat that made me want to walk back in the herd of walkers. His name, I learned, was Rick Grimes and he and his group were the ones that helped me get out of the pickle I got myself in, along with dragging me with them as they too escaped from the large city of Atlanta. From what I overheard the others talking loudly about, they had just managed to save Rick as well, who was having just as bad of a day as I was, an hour before they saved me. To me it looked like we were both just random strangers that they decided to pick up like lost dogs.

The rest of the group seemed to be nice enough, except for this asshole Merle who was this racist, sexist, piece of shit. Spewing out bullshit and insults from his lips every five minutes and only pushing me further into wanting to walk towards the flesh eating monsters. Though, to make a very long story short, we ended up leaving him handcuffed up on the roof of a building where we were once trapped on top of. Though much to my surprise, it wasn't on purpose. Rick eventually had enough of the man's bullshit and took his fancy, shiny handcuffs to lock him in place on a metal pole, and a man named T-Dog accidentally dropped the key to unlock him down a drain.

But when the time came, we had no choice but to leave him when the dead were chasing us once more as they somehow had gotten into the building. The only option we really had now was to maybe go back for him later. Maybe. But to put it into perspective on how uncomfortable I was with these people, riding in this truck with them to their camp...I would rather switch places with Merle.

I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts when the truck we were riding in stopped abruptly, assuming we were at the camp these people were talking so much about. I took a second to lean forward and glance out the windshield at my surroundings, not liking the feeling that was forming in my gut at the thought of meeting anyone new. But Rick caught me scanning the area, reading my expression from where he sat in the passenger seat and clearly sensed my nerves.

He eventually caught my eye as I felt him staring right as he began to speak, "Don't worry, we're in this together." he assured, flashing a half smile at me that made the corners of his eyes wrinkle.

I raised my eyebrows. Oh, thank God we're "in this together."

The guy who was driving, who I learned was named Morales, told us to come out and meet everyone with a nod as he jumped out of the truck to run to his family. I shared another uneasy look with Rick before slowly following his actions to see for myself what I would be dealing with. My eyes scanned through everyone that was gathered around and instantly all eyes were on me once they heard my door slam shut. I grew uncomfortable at all the watchful eyes boring holes straight into my forehead, and a man named Glenn eventually stepped up when he sensed the obvious tension.

"Guys, this is Rosaline. We saved her back in the city. She's cool." he assured with a smile, silently telling all of them to back off.

I shifted uncomfortably, "Rose." I corrected.

It seemed after I opened my mouth to speak everyone relaxed slightly, thinking that I wouldn't be much of a threat. Though I could be. But they didn't need to know that. I didn't plan on hurting these people or taking their fishing poles unless they tried anything. But by the looks of it, some of these people looked like they wouldn't even kill a fly, so I think it was safe to say I was good.

Though all of a sudden, the whole atmosphere seemed to change, everything happening in slow motion as a few people stared at me wide eyed. A man, a woman, and a kid. I stood still there for a moment wondering what I did to make these people stare daggers at me like this until I heard a small gasp from behind me. I looked over my shoulder and saw Rick standing there in awe with the same expression that they had as he stared at them in disbelief. I soon realized that they were looking just behind me the entire time and quickly stepped off to the side as fast as I could.

Well, that's fucking embarrassing.

The little boy then took off in a flash towards Rick, screaming "Dad!" as he cried and then it all seemed to click in my head. This was the family Rick briefly mentioned to the group back when we were on the roof of the tall building back in the city. The family he had been trying desperately to find. They had been here the whole time.

My eyes stayed on the small family as they reunited with laughter and tears, almost feeling myself smile at the sight. Though I snapped out of it with a shake of my head, stopping it before I could let it happen.

After the moment had passed, that only came time for very long and boring introductions as Rick and I seemed to meet everyone else in the camp. I nodded towards everyone politely as I learned each of their names that I would surely accidentally forget. But one name seemed to really stick out to me amongst the many others.

Someone briefly mentioned that there was another man who lived with them, one who wasn't here at the time. Merle's brother, Daryl. And here I thought one was enough.

However, I had yet to meet the second one because the older man, Dale informed me he was currently out on a hunt somewhere in the woods just ahead of us. But the truth was I didn't need to meet the man to know that he was an asshole just like the one we left behind. I mean they are related after all.

The entire group then sat around a fire once the sun finally set, eating something small they cooked for the night, while discussing some random things that people would occasionally bring up. But the hot topic currently, was what needed to be said to Daryl once he got back. In my mind it was pretty simple, but it was clear these people didn't want to be too harsh about it.

"What should we say to him?" Dale asked.

"We tell him the truth," Rick stated simply, "I'll tell him, I mean I was the one who cuffed him."

"No, I'll tell him I'm the one who dropped the key." T-Dog piped in as he finished the remaining food on his plate.

Glenn sighed and went on to say, "I don't mean to bring race into this but...it might sound better coming from a white guy."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes hearing them going back and forth about what to tell him, hearing the same things being said over and over again. I stayed completely silent as I thought more to myself, slowly tuning their conversation out as I planned my escape from this hell hole. Coming here was clearly a big mistake and I realized that the moment I stepped foot inside, I didn't belong with the rest of them. I was better off alone.

And what seemed to annoy me the most is that I didn't have a choice, they just dragged me back here without even asking, without a care in the world. To me, that alone was a good enough reason to get the fuck out of here.

The group finally decided after what felt like hours that Rick would be the one to tell Daryl about his brother, and eventually it grew much later in the night as everyone began to go their separate ways. I planned to just head off into the forest to sleep against a nearby tree for a few hours, then slip away in the early morning before any of them had a chance to notice.

I began to gather my stuff, strapping my backpack across my shoulders and stepping over the few large rocks in my way to head towards the tree line. But just as I was about to get the smallest taste of freedom, a voice calling out behind me caused me to stop.

"Hey Rose!" I recognized Dale's voice softly shout.

My chest raised up and down with a deep sigh, turning around to face him as I looked at him expectantly. "I know you don't have a place to sleep tonight, but we have some room in the RV..." he trailed off.

I continued to stare at him, hardly showing any emotion on my face at all as I tried to read him, figuring out what his intentions were.

He continued, "Look, I know you're new and clearly don't trust any of us just yet, but I just want to make sure you have a safe place to sleep. You don't have to, I just thought I would offer." he said, finishing with a smile.

I could tell by that alone that Dale was a good person and a decent man. There were definitely some people in this group that gave me a bad feeling right off the bat, but Dale wasn't one of them. But I needed to get away so I could leave. I only wanted this group to be a distant memory in the back of my mind and nothing more.

So, with that I shook my head, "I'm okay." I said as politely as I could before heading off into the forest.

I could hear him sigh from behind me as I walked away but I didn't let it bother me. I needed to go. A part of me didn't even want to sleep so I could get a head start and further away, but I was fairly tired from running for my life throughout the day. So I figured I could sleep for a couple of hours and before anyone could wake up, I would leave and head off to...well anywhere but here.

My eyes groggily peeled open the following morning just before the sun began to rise over the hills, looking at it made me guess was it was around four in the morning. I yawned and stretched slowly before standing up to my full height and placing my bag on my back, starting to head off in the opposite direction of the camp as the dirt crunched loudly beneath my feet. Although I didn't get very far, maybe about five steps away before something suddenly stopped me in my tracks. I stood still there for a minute, just thinking. For some reason there was a gut feeling I had. Something was telling me to stay.

My mind started to spiral with many different thoughts, enough to give you a headache, but then that's where I stopped myself. My whole life whenever I had a gut feeling about something, I needed to trust it. My little intuition was almost never wrong. And although most I had felt like warnings about uneasy feelings, this one was different. Like a magnet was pulling me back to the group. A strong ass magnet.

I found myself plopping back down on my ass, my back up against the tree with my knees to my chest, just lost in my own thoughts, debating and arguing with myself for what felt like hours when in reality it was probably only a few minutes. But a golden flicker appearing out of the corner of my eye is what made me look back up, seeing the sun beginning to rise higher in the sky enough to kiss my cheeks. Okay...so it really had been a few hours.

But even after clear hours had passed me by, I was still left very torn on what to do with myself. My head was screaming at me to just leave and be on my own, but my heart was just calmly telling me to stay for a while and see how it works out. I hadn't had a real group at all since the outbreak first happened, but in my mind I never wished for one. I always believed it was okay to be alone, watching out for yourself rather than anyone else dragging you down. That was the logical way to survive...wasn't it?

With that I let out an annoyed groan and slowly stood back up to make my walk of shame back to the camp, deciding to give it one more day and if nothing changes, I'd leave tonight. To me even staying one more day seemed to be pushing it, but I didn't want to regret not trying and seeing how this would play out.

As I walked back into the grounds, I noticed some people were already awake in the early hours of the morning to my surprise. Carol and her daughter Sophia were sitting up on one of the logs talking quietly to each other, the woman's gaze glancing up to me as she noticed my movement. She sent me a sweet smile with a small wave, to which I nodded to her in return.

My eyes then looked away from her for a split second when I caught a brief glimpse of Rick walking away from the campsite with a certain determination in his step, and his head low. I stayed in place as I watched his figure disappear, before I found my feet slowly moving forward to follow him. I didn't know why I did, I just grew curious I guess.

When I caught up to his long strides, I found him sitting on a larger rock, seemingly talking to himself though I couldn't make out the words from where I was standing. It was all too hushed and quiet. But then my eyes panned over a bit to see a device in his hands, his mouth lowering closer as he spoke into it. Good to know he wasn't batshit crazy or anything.

After an only few seconds I turned on my heel to leave him be, though I accidentally stepped too far to the right and straight down on a branch that snapped loudly. My eyes closed the second it happened, silently cursing to myself. When he heard the noise he whipped his head around, with his hand hovering over his pistol on his hip, but his body instantly relaxed when he realized I wasn't a walking corpse.

He then recovered and flashed me a thin lipped smile, "Hey, you're up early."

I lifted my hand to check my imaginary watch, "No shit." I said, lowering it back down again at my side.

"You're not a morning person...noted." he said slowly before sighing to himself as he stared at me, "You know, I can tell you were alone for quite some time, if not the entire time. And I know you're probably scared but-"

"I'm not scared of anything." I snapped.

He looked at me surprised with raised brows, not expecting me to say anything at all. But I wasn't going to just stand there while he accused me of the things I was feeling when he didn't know anything about me at all. Everyone around here might've been scared but I sure as hell wasn't. Maybe that was another reason I didn't want to be with this group, they didn't know what the hell they were doing, too scared to have a steady head on their shoulders. I should add that to the list of reasons why I should take my happy ass out of here.

Once he recovered, he nodded in agreement to my surprise, "Okay, maybe you're not scared... but you are alone."

I didn't open my mouth to respond as my eyes narrowed at him further. Thanks captain obvious.

He continued, "Look, I know you don't trust us, but all I'm asking for is that you give us a chance. I saw the way you were looking at everyone last night, like you were ready to pounce any minute if anyone tried anything. I can tell you need us as much as we need you-"

"Okay," I interrupted with a wave of my hand, "Let me stop you right there before you break out into song and dance. I'm going to make something perfectly clear. I don't need you, or your parade of assholes back there for anything. I have always been just fine on my own, and last time I checked I didn't even ask for you to save me and bring me back here. You just did it. So don't tell me I'm scared, or I need any of you because that is far from the truth, asshole." I spoke harshly.

He stared at me for a few seconds not knowing what to say, but clapping back quicker than I expected, "Okay, fair enough. You're right I don't know you, you didn't ask me to save you, and you don't look like you need anyone. I'm just saying it's nice to have other people watching your back. I felt so alone until I found a man and his son while looking for my family, and now I can be a part of this group...and so can you. But I can understand if you want to leave. Just know that...everyone in camp likes the idea of having you around."

His response was far from what I expected, and I didn't say anything back to him right away, mostly because I couldn't find the right words. How could he be so understanding over someone he didn't even know. It honestly blew my mind a little.

When he saw I wasn't going to argue further, he turned back around to watch the sun continue to rise in front of him. And after debating in my head for a minute or two, I decided to walk over and sit next myself to him on the giant rock. He glanced at me when I sat down, probably expecting me to say some smart ass comment in return to what he stated, but I didn't. We just sat in comfortable silence until the sky was no longer orange and pink, but now turning into more of a pale blue with clouds slowly filling up the remaining space. It was somewhat nice.

I could tell he was about to move and stand up to his feet, probably to head back to camp, but I said something that stopped him.

"I never wanted to be alone." I confessed, not taking my eyes off the sky.

As soon as the words left my lips, I closed my eyes for a moment as I regretted what I said almost instantly. I didn't want to admit defeat to anyone let alone a stranger, but I figured I should in this case for him to truly understand what I was feeling.

I felt his eyes on me as he said nothing, expecting me to continue, so I did. "I was alone before the world went to shit, and I've gotten used to being by myself. I guess I've just come to realize it's exhausting looking out for other people."

He still remained silent.

"My point is I don't know if I'm staying." I said while finally turning to look at him.

He nodded, "That's okay. Just make sure to think about it before you make any rash decisions. Who knows...maybe you'll change your mind." he said almost suggestively before standing up and turning around to head back.

I turned my head and watched his frame retreat away from me for a few seconds, his words echoing in my mind, before turning all my attention back to the sky. A part of me still wanted to leave, the fear of the unknown creeping up to me, however I did tell myself that I would give it another chance. But if I couldn't find a reason to say by tonight that was that. I would leave this group behind.

~ Thanks for reading!

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon x oc #daryl dixon twd #daryl dixon the walking dead #daryl dixon x female reader #the walking dead #the walking dead fanfiction #twd daryl #twd fanfiction #norman reedus fanfiction #norman reedus #norman reedus x reader #desert rose #the walking dead daryl #twd #daryl dixon x reader #twd daryl dixon #daryl fanfiction #daryl x reader #daryl twd

[nothorses]

I think what's especially annoying to me about the "culturally Christian" argument is that people pushing the phrase (as a way of referring to individuals) tend to argue that it's describing a difference in what you know about cultures and religions outside of Christianity.

That's how they justify applying it to atheists and agnostics who don't come from a minority religion background, right? You don't know about any other religion, you must know about Christianity no matter what because that's the dominant religion here, which means you're closer to Christianity than anything else.

But like.

I was raised atheist by people who were raised atheist. Adults around me knew about Christianity, but because we never talked about it, I didn't know anything about any religion for a good chunk of my childhood.

I found out Christmas was a religious holiday when I was like 9; I thought it was about Santa before that, and I literally did not know what the nativity scene was.

I thought Easter was about eggs and bunnies until I was about the same age. I did not understand who Jesus was when it was finally explained to me; I received that information in 7th grade social studies class, when my teacher was explaining the divergence of the three Abrahamic religions.

I learned the vast majority of what I know about Christianity in art history classes I took for my degree, and I was, at the same time, working at a Jewish afterschool program; a not-insignificant part of my job was helping to lead Shabbat prayers and teaching kids about upcoming Jewish holidays. We discussed Jewish values and how they related to the structure of the program very regularly. I cannot stress enough that this was part of a Jewish community center in which a Rabbi worked and relevant gatherings and celebrations happened.

I would say I know more about Christianity, but it's not a huge margin, and a lot of that is repetition; things I've learned about Christianity have been reinforced and repeated over time, and that's not really true of Judaism for me. Had I worked at the JCC for more than two years, my answer might be different.

I would say that I received a lot of Christian messaging growing up, because our broader cultural values are heavily rooted in those ideas. Everyone gets that messaging. What they do with it might depend on their family's culture and religion, and it might depend on their own internal processing. I can say, personally, that much of that messaging didn't stick for me; I realized there was no "real" reason for those beliefs at a pretty young age, and spent a lot of time obsessing over the internal consistency of my own value system. I rejected a lot of them, often without even knowing where they were coming from.

So yeah, you could absolutely say I know more about Christianity, I've been exposed to more of it, and that I've been surrounded by more of it. But everyone in this country experiences this too some degree; to draw highly individualized conclusions about that based on the fact that I'm an atheist alone feels disingenuous, to say the least. Atheism is why I was questioning those things, and rejecting many of them; how is that different from other beliefs? Why does the fact that there is no higher power involved make that less significant than for those who do believe in one?

Don't get me wrong, our culture is Christian. This has an impact on individuals, and I think it's fair to say that some people are more driven to challenge those ideas than others. I'd argue that atheism does require challenging Christian ideas on its own, but I can concede that as a generally self-directed thing, it's easier for folks to just not self-reflect in that way than it might be when going through a guided conversion process.

But.

That line isn't hard and fast, and it's unfair to insist that it is just for the sake of convenience. Particularly when Christians themselves are unwilling to include anyone different from them, especially for the sake of sharing their power.

#atheism

[drawlfoy]

I can't tell you just how heartbroken Wonders of Ohio left me. I've only ever felt that way with one other fic, and even then WoO topped it. Unlike WoO, the other fic had a very clean cut ending to it (they both died at the end rip) so I wasn't left to my own thoughts about what could've happened after. Which might be why WoO has been absolutely haunting me for the past two days, it hasn't left my mind at all. I think about certain moments, the ending, oh god ESPECIALLY THE ENDING, AT LEAST once an hour. I get that familiar feeling of my throat drying up and my eyes begin to water when I think about it. Another reason being the way you write. I was able to immerse myself into the story and imagine what I was reading in my head, one specific case of this I remember was when Draco made Reader and himself late to school. When he was fidgeting in the passengers seat, his hair unkempt, I could almost see him. I imagined draco with his messy platinum hair, wearing a muggle polo shirt because its just so posh rich kid of him, nervous as he leaned over the middle compartment into the backseat as he performed that glamour spell. I've never been very creative and imaginative but with your writing it was easy for me. It reminded me of how I was able to do the same when reading the Harry Potter books, being able to almost live in that universe in my head was so refreshing. Anyways this is really long, SORRY, but when I saw that you also had a Tumblr (as I originally read your stories on AO3) I just had to look. I scrolled through your page for a while and I gasped when I eventually saw that you posted what you started on writing for a continued ending? (I don't know how to phrase it I'm sorry 😭) I read it and while WoO is still breaking my heart over and over again, I think I'll be able to think about it for longer than 5 minutes at a time without bursting into tears now. So thank you. 🩷

AHHH i’m so upset bc i typed out a whole response and the fucking tumblr app (count ur days staff) deleted it urghhh

anyway some points i’d like to hit (apologies for the length but i just wanted to give this the response it deserved):

1) first of all THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHABKYOU this was genuinely the highlight of my whole year. people like you are the reason i write and i’m being so genuine when i say that this message is like the kind of stuff i dream about getting as a writer. so in conc i’m kissing you on the mouth you didn’t need to but you wrote all of this out and for that i’m forever grateful

2) some thoughts on the ending: first of all IM SORRY lmaoo. i’ll let u in on a little secret: i actually originally planned on a completely different ending where y/n ended up using the box right off the bat and went back to england and spent the last half of the fic learning magic and interacting with the golden trio crew/the malfoys. i told this to a few writer friends and they made me realize that it wouldn’t be as useful in actually answering the silly question that i based the whole fic on (what would draco do if he was plopped in the middle of muggle america?). i decided then that i really was more interested in learning how draco’s character would develop as he came to love someone who was fundamentally differently from him (and didn’t first go through a change that departed from her basic character traits). from then on i realized that a happy ending wouldn’t involve either of them giving up their world at the end of the summer, since they needed to grow up a little bit (and at that point i was old enough to find the idea of giving up your entire life for a relationship at 18 completely terrifying). hence the sad ending…but i think in the long run it means that they end up having a much healthier dynamic later on!

3) if you want to know about what happened after the deleted scene you found: i left the ending so open because i always thought i’d come back to write another series where i explored what happened after, but i don’t think i’ll end up doing that so i’ll tell you what i was planning. i always imagined y/n eventually going to england after graduating and getting established in her career and learning magic (because like literally who wouldn’t if presented with that option). draco is just kind of like a stay at home husband who’s just psyched to be there.

4) thank you so so much for your note about how immersive WoO was!! i’m ngl i’ve always struggled with incorporating imagery into my work. i spent my formative years avoiding anything i considered to be purple prose and that really reflected in my writing. i’m not a super visual person so if i could mention the 3 details i think are important in each scene and could just get on with the meat of the plot, i would, so i’m so thrilled to hear that it was able to give you that experience as a reader despite the fact that i’ve always been worried that i can’t 🥹 thank you again for telling me all of this bc it genuinely warmed my heart i know that this is a little disjointed but oml this like made my day

ill stop talking now because i’m gonna get even more incoherent okok but thank you!!!!! <3

#dee overshares #legendary anon

[clarenecessities]

perspective flip: better (if i’m allowed to be more specific, someone else’s perspective from chapter two) ((sorry if you got this ask more than once, tumblr was being a butt))

Perspective Flip: I’ll write a scene from [Better, Chapter Two] from another character’s point-of-view

man tell me about it, it ate my whole first draft of this lmao

the more specific the better! here’s Bow’s Big Epiphany, capped off when Adora interrupts bc transitions suck

Unusual Fic-Specific Asks for Authors

“So it’s not Scorpia?” Frosta asked Adora, relaxing slightly as Catra left the room. Bow couldn’t say he blamed her, but the things he’d seen on Beast Island–the way Catra had broken down--well, Glimmer always said he was too forgiving. Maybe it would have been harder, if he hadn’t seen how nice future-Catra was (and how cute her babies were). 

“Not Scorpia,” said Adora, lips pursed like she was fighting a scowl. “I can’t figure it out. She never had a crush on anybody when we were growing up, but her future self said she’d already been in love, so--either it’s happened since I became She-Ra, or she lied to me for like… years, probably.” 

“She never told you she liked anyone?” asked Perfuma. She exchanged a glance with Bow, an unsurprised little ‘I imagine Catra’s been lying to everyone for years’ look that Bow probably meant a little more sympathetically than she did.  

“She never even tolerated anyone. The other cadets were either total jerks or scared of her, except the rest of our squad.” Adora paused, blinking hard like she was trying to force a thought from her mind. “It can’t--not Lonnie. She hates Lonnie. She kind of hates most people.”

“I mean, what about you? She tolerated you,” Mermista pointed out, raising a skeptical eyebrow. 

“Yeah, of course, but I was her best friend. We did everything together,” said Adora, frowning. She wasn’t quite defensive--the denial seemed almost instinctual to Bow, like she couldn’t imagine a world where she and Catra had been separate entities, despite their recent demonstrations to the contrary. “I’m telling you, there’s no way I wouldn’t have picked up on it, even if she didn’t tell me. It’s gotta be recent.” 

“Adora, no offense,” said Glimmer, at least trying to contain her exasperation, “but it did take you almost twenty years to realize the Horde was evil.” 

“That’s different,” said Adora, rolling her eyes. “This is Catra. Your mom says I didn’t realize the Horde was evil because--because it would hurt too much? I guess? There wouldn’t have been anything I could do about it, not until I found the sword. I needed to be able to… do something. Before I could do something. Does that make sense?” 

What a way to phrase it. Bow looked down at the tracker pad again, trying to ease the ache in his heart by looking at future-Adora, how happy and free she seemed. It hurt to hear how she thought of herself, how little she understood of her own thought processes during the ceaseless trauma of growing up in the Fright Zone. Adora’s heart beat with the need to protect, but she couldn’t even consider that her mind had been trying to extend that to her, however unconsciously. 

He hadn’t been there when Angella tried to explain this to Adora, but he was willing to bet she hadn’t placed so much emphasis on the sword. From the moment she’d joined the Rebellion, Adora had clung to that blade like it was her entire identity. They had to coax and cajole the rest of her personality out from behind the ‘dutiful soldier’ persona she couldn’t bear to relinquish. 

He wished he knew how to help her.

“No,” said Frosta, blunt as always.

“The sword represented an unprecedented agency,” said Perfuma, exchanging another sad look with Bow. “By accepting its power, you were able to accept your true feelings about the Horde.” 

“Sure,” said Adora, agreeing immediately despite the blankness in her eyes. She didn’t understand Perfuma’s point any better than she had Angella’s. 

But maybe Perfuma had a point--maybe to Adora, the sword wasn’t just another duty to take on. Maybe it was also her ability to choose for herself? Maybe that’s what she was clinging to? 

He looked back down at the picture. She didn’t have the sword on her. 

“That’s great and all, but how do we make her accept her true feelings about who Catra’s in love with?” asked Mermista, crossing her arms.

“Uh,” said Adora. 

“We are allowed to talk about your feelings,” said Bow, smiling at her. She’d been so open since speaking with her future-self. Maybe they could finally find a way to help her. “We just can’t bug Catra about hers!”

“I don’t--my feelings?” 

“Yeah!” said Glimmer, lighting up at the prospect. “Maybe it is like you not realizing the Horde’s evil! You could have some like, mental block keeping you from unlocking the truth!” 

“How are my feelings going to help that?” Adora asked weakly. 

“Well, let’s consider it from a new angle,” said Bow, rubbing his chin in one hand. “The only people we know she’s spent time with since you left are Scorpia and Entrapta, and I think we can pretty much rule out Entrapta. Are there any other female Force Captains?” 

“I mean, yeah. There’s Octavia--” 

“Oh! The octopus lady! Could it be her?” said Bow, brightening. Although wait, she was pretty old, compared to them…

“Catra clawed her eye out when we were six.”

“Ah,” said Bow, wincing. When they were six? His stomach turned, remembering his own clumsy adventuring at that age. To have been raised in the Horde–to have known all along that it was an evil, dangerous place, with no prospect of escape… Catra must have felt so trapped there. What had Octavia, at least a decade their senior, done to warrant a wound so devastating? How had Catra even been able to reach? 

He preferred to think it was just her lashing out, that Octavia had been an authority figure Catra had been confident enough to risk pissing off. Maybe it had just been a shallow scratch which had gotten infected, instead of the gouging he pictured automatically. 

Had she been scared? Scared enough to attack? Scared of the consequences once she had? 

“I appreciate your creativity Bow, but from what we know of Catra I think it’s more likely that she already had feelings for someone,” Perfuma cut in. “She’s very… goal-oriented. I doubt her attention was wandering in romantic directions once she was promoted.” 

And boy, wasn’t that true. Dissuading Catra from something was about as easy as dissuading Adora. 

“So she lied to me,” said Adora.

“Well… maybe,” said Perfuma. “Did you outright ask if she had a crush on anyone?” 

“Yeah! A bunch of times! She always said that stuff was stupid and she had more important things to worry about, said Adora, outright pouting. 

“That’s not a no…” said Glimmer, looking almost apologetic. It made Bow smile; that’s exactly the kind of defense she’d use if he called her out for lying. ‘Oh, I didn’t mean it that way,’ or ‘I didn’t say that’. Maybe she and Catra had more in common than he’d realized.

“Did she ever ask you?” asked Mermista. 

“Well yeah, it’s kind of--it’s a reciprocal thing, you don’t just ask and not answer yourself. Like half the time she asked first, it’s just a basic--friend--question--thing,” Adora stammered, flushing with clear embarrassment. 

“And did you ever tell her when you had a crush?” asked Mermista. 

“I’m--I mean, I would have? But I never had one, so--” 

“You never had a crush?” Mermista interrupted, plainly disbelieving.

“I kind of had a lot going on, okay?” huffed Adora. “There’s no time for stuff like that in the Horde.”

“So where do all the little Hordelings come from?” asked Mermista. 

Adora’s face darkened, grew heavy with emotions she rarely let even Bow and Glimmer see. He leaned into her, trying to reassure her with his physical presence. Pressure seemed to relax her, to ground her, most of the time. She probably wouldn’t accept a hug right now, but she leaned back into him automatically, so maybe it helped.

“Most are stolen,” she said at length, “Some are surrendered willingly. Some of us were taken in after being kidnapped across dimensions by an artificial intelligence bent on universal domination. You know, classic Hordeling sources.”

Bow winced. Mermista’s eyes widened, and she looked at the other princesses for help, but they all seemed just as lost for words as she was.

“Uh… look, Adora, I’m… sorry?” said Mermista, cautious but sincere. She uncrossed her arms, one hand moving to her braid, fiddling with the end of it. Bow had never seen her look so unsure of herself.

“It’s fine,” said Adora. She let out a long, slow breath, and he felt her release some of the tension in her shoulders. “It’s--it’s been a long few days.”

“Do you wanna like… talk about it?” Mermista tried, a little awkward. Bow smiled at her gratefully. 

“I guess I just like--like I always knew the Horde took me in as a baby, you know? I kind of wondered if that had been a lie after I realized they were evil, but… I don’t know. It felt… Like, everything made sense, it was never--it was all for something, you know?” 

“You felt that way even after you defected?” asked Perfuma, gentle and coaxing, but Bow could see the concern in her eyes. She was starting to see what he saw.

“I mean, yeah, kind of,” said Adora, with a helpless shrug. “I knew they were training me to do horrible things, but I didn’t think the way they did it was horrible. Not for me. I mean, apparently they really did take me in as a baby.” 

“But?” prompted Glimmer, coming up on her other side and wrapping an arm around her waist. 

“But I dunno,” said Adora. “Maybe it’s just seeing Catra’s kids, maybe it’s realizing I was just kind of dumped in their laps, but I… I knew it was bad for the other kids. That it wasn’t fair to treat them like that, but--seeing the twins--hearing the way Shadow Weaver--” 

Her shoulders were tense again. Bow thought back to what Glimmer had told him of future-Catra’s initial announcements, back to just what kind of warden they’d had, and almost tensed himself. Hearing the way Shadow Weaver what? He tightened his grip on the tracker pad instinctively, as his hands tried to close into fists. 

“I was never anything to them,” said Adora, cold and biting and sounding more like a soldier than he’d heard since they met her. “I looked at those babies and all I could think about was how much I loved them, the potential they had, how much I wanted to keep them safe, and happy, but the Horde--Shadow Weaver--I wasn’t even a weapon. I wasn’t even that.”

“I mean--” Mermista started, still uncertain, but Adora cut her off with a shake of her head. 

“I wasn’t, because even if--even if you program in a kill switch, you don’t--you don’t…” she trailed off, scowling. Her mouth twisted, and her eyes were shiny with unshed tears, and Bow was going to start crying any second now. “I hate her.”

“You don’t have to,” said Bow, trying to swallow his own tears. “You can, but--”

“Yes I do,” Adora hissed. “How can I not hate her? The things she did--the things she told us--made us think--” 

“It’s normal to care about the person who raised you,” said Glimmer, conciliatory but not quite compassionate. Adora would appreciate the effort, anyway.

“Not when that person is literally evil,” Adora muttered.

“She taught you how to tie your boots,” Bow reminded her softly, trying to bring her back before she could just bury all those emotions without addressing them. Again.

Adora shut her eyes, and her mouth was still twisted, but she was breathing deeply, like she was thinking things through. 

“I hate her,” she said, this time a thin and uncertain mumble. “I’m gonna go check on Catra.”

She pushed back from Bow’s shoulder, shrugging off Glimmer’s arm in the same motion, already turning back towards the door.

“Adora, we should give her space,” said Perfuma, frowning a little. Adora froze like Perfuma would threaten her life if she took another step. “This must be a lot for her to process. If she wants to turn to her friend for support, then--” 

“I’m her friend,” Adora interrupted.

Bow sighed, half exasperated and half fond. Adora had always been territorial, prone to possessiveness of her things. Food, especially, was a problem in the beginning; they kept accidentally sitting on her caches of less-perishable items, until she was able to accept that there were no circumstances or punishments that could threaten her next meal. 

That, or she got better at hiding her bread.

Admittedly, he hadn’t seen that possessiveness directed towards a person yet, but it didn’t surprise him to learn it was there. Adora entered the Best Friend Squad when it was already the three of them, so she had no reason to be jealous of Bow or Glimmer, but if she and Catra were as isolated growing up as he was beginning to suspect…

Well, Princess Prom was starting to make a lot more sense in retrospect. She had been having the exact same crisis Glimmer was, but from opposite sides of the war.

Perfuma seemed a little less amused to discover this particular quirk, but she managed a patient smile when she said, “You two haven’t had much time apart to process since your reunion, right? It’s important that you respect any boundaries she might set, including stepping out of the room for a moment.” 

Adora’s shoulders slumped, her rigid posture relaxing instantly at the reminder. She turned fully back to them, avoiding their eyes.

“I don’t want to talk about the Horde right now,” she told them, quiet but firm. 

“Then we won’t,” said Bow. He made eye contact with each princess in turn to confirm it, frowning pointedly at Frosta until she relented with a scowl. “Boundaries.” 

“Seems to be the theme today,” said Mermista, sighing melodramatically. “Can we at least figure out who fucks the cat?” 

“Mermista!” said Perfuma, clapping her hands over Frosta’s ears. She looked appalled, like she couldn’t believe a princess would use such language, despite what Bow had heard her say about cacti behind closed doors.

“What?” asked Mermista, unimpressed. “She’s like, twelve. She knows what sex is, Perfuma.”

“I can also still hear you,” said Frosta. 

“It’s not about the--it’s about the language,” Perfuma stressed, blushing. “It’s disrespectful!” 

“I think it’s a little more disrespectful to imply Frosta doesn’t know the word ‘fuck’ yet,” said Mermista. 

“I am objecting to the gossip,” said Perfuma, at least removing her hands from Frosta’s ears.  “We don’t need to speculate about any--any--private activities. It’s unproductive and it diminishes Catra’s--”

“Okay, whatever, fine,” said Mermista. “What respectful clues do we have?”

“Well, Catra’s in love,” said Glimmer, looking back at the door consideringly. “Or has been? Her future self wasn’t very clear on that, actually. But we can safely assume she will be in a decade or so, anyway.” 

“And it’s not with Scorpia,” Adora added.

“You’re like super fixated on it not being Scorpia,” said Mermista, raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure you haven’t had a crush? She is kind of your type.”

“My--my type?” Adora spluttered. 

“Yeah, you know, big, strong, muscular,” said Perfuma, smiling. “Totally understandable, she’s dreamy.”

“No,” said Adora, looking mildly horrified at the very suggestion. “I mean--yeah, sure, she has nice muscles, but she’s… No. She’s too nice. We’d never get anything done.”

Mermista shrugged it off, but Glimmer started laughing. Bow blinked, looking at her to see what brought that on.

“I thought you guys meant Catra,” Glimmer explained between giggles.

Bow blinked again. 

He looked down at the tracker pad. 

Future-Adora gazing at the kittens, at Catra, with a melty, absolutely smitten smile. 

The kittens, with their enormous blue eyes that decidedly didn’t match Catra’s shade. 

No. No, it couldn’t be, right? There was no way Adora would have been able to hide the fact that she was in love with… 

Oh, no. She couldn’t hide it, but her stupid over-protective subconsciousness could--

“Bow?” came Glimmer’s voice, echoing faintly. His ears might be ringing.

“Bow, are you okay?” asked Adora, meeting his eyes and yeah that was the exact same shade of blue alright--

“Yep! Grood! I’m gate! I--just remembered I have to ask Catra something! Right now!” he squeaked, handing Glimmer the tracker pad and running for the door before he could give anything away. 

Oh, Catra was going to kill him if he gave something away. 

He stopped at the door, giving them all his most reassuring smile. “Everything is fine!” he said, smooth and confident and totally normal--

He closed the door behind him, locking eyes with a visibly chastised Scorpia, Catra pacing up and down the hallway and breaking off mid-lecture to glare at him for interrupting. 

“It’s Adora?” he shouted, before a single rational thought could stop him. 

Scorpia straightened up like she’d been electrocuted, and Catra’s eyes shot wide before narrowing to slits. 

Oh. 

Right.

The killing him part. 

He squeaked a little as she tackled him, slamming him against the door by his shoulders, but thankfully the claws didn’t come out. At least not the ones holding onto him. 

“What are you talking about?” she demanded, not quite able to mask her panic with anger.

“I--once I realized I couldn’t just like, unrealize, and--does she not know? Does she even know she’s in love with y--”

“Shut up!” Catra hissed, shaking him a little. “Don’t say shit like that, fuck--”

“I don’t think so,” Scorpia volunteered, hovering a little like she was willing to intercede on his behalf. That was kind of nice of her, actually. He’d have to try a little harder to defend her from Adora’s jealous--ohhhhh. 

“We’re not doing this. I’m not having this conversation with you!” said Catra. They were both panicking now, feeding off of each other’s alarm, and none of Bow’s breathing techniques would come to mind when all he could think was what and how long and what does this mean and that claw looks really sharp--

“Adam is blond!” he blurted the second he opened his mouth. 

“So help me, Arrow Boy, if you say one more word--I will break into your closet in the dead of night and sew midsections onto all your shirts if you so much as hint--”

#answers #spritznar #clare's writing #fhwitd

[harley-style]

Reading the Homestuck Epilogues [MEAT] 5 (pt. 1 - 10)

Read the Candy Epilogue reading here: one | two | three | four

Hello lovelies! Sorry I took a bit of a break yesterday, but I was indeed writing down my thoughts as I read them! It just took longer than usual, lmao. But anyway, my reactions and thoughts under the cut!

Well, that's fucking ominous. But well, here we go, another route, another round of pain! First up on the list: John awkwardly trying to reach Roxy and Callie for a hug, but waiting too long that they've left. Oops. Writing ten letters is SOME fucking foreshadowing though.

Okay I was all for Karkat running for president but I do not trust Dave to hold a reliable campaign with him. They're not...how do you say...politically savvy? They do have a point with Jane though. We know how well THAT works out in Candy...oh geez, Dirk. He didn't have much of a presence in Candy...I miss him.

John's so dismissive lol but that's understandable. Bit of a dick move, but eh. The tangents these kids get into is legendary.

I am especially apprehensive of Meat, but I heard it's like, somewhat nicer than Candy. That said, I dread the moment Dirk takes up the stage. There should also be a protocol for interrupting shows for personal calls???

It's really uncomfortable to me how much screentime Jake's ass is getting. Let me just put it out there. Also, Dirk playing up the villain on the TV show really was just a beta test, huh? That bitch. (Affectionate).

POLITICAL CAPITAL? Oh my lord.

Dirk dissing Karkat is one of his monumental sins. How fucking dare he. Karkat is a blessing that none of us puny mortals deserve and you will fucking recognize it (/hj...haha unless?). The ensuing conversation after that is basically me: okay, bitch -ing at Dirk. Like constantly.

"Dirk goes to help your yard clean the Jake off its dirt." I feel like I'm having a stroke. This is around the part where John gets everyone from a newly messed with timeline to go with him and beat up a teen Caliborn, their words, which is all kinds of fucked up bc 1) teenagers and 2) teenagers.

WAIT IS THIS THE SCENE FROM PESTERQUEST? IT IS ISN'T IT!!! HOLY FUCK!!!

Okay now I retroactively realize what keeping the yard clean of Jake means. It's...certainly a turn of phrase.

"I've never zapped this many people before" Bitch you've zapped an entire planet. That has more mass than 7 teenagers.

Dirk and Rose are having a conversation about ascending and while Rose is coping terribly, Dirk seems remarkably fine. Why is that. Dirk finishes with an internal monologue about him looking at the state of things with an almost mechanical and clinical eye, rather than Rose's artistic, poetic vision. Every gear has, apparently, been set in motion.

Oh hey shit's going down in Cherub's Town

Yeah you really should have thought that one through, John.

Jane is VERY upset that Karkat's running against her and honestly, I just skimmed through this chapter. I really don't like Jane's thought process, but I do double back every now and then to see if I missed anything. Jake expresses discontent over being used as a marketing bid, and honestly, about time man. But also, fuck Dirk and Jane in this particular instance. Why. Why are you both like this.

#homestuck #reading the homestuck epilogues #homestuck epilogues #meat route #epilogues meat route #john egbert #rose lalonde #dave strider #karkat vantas #dirk strider #jake english #jane crocker #cw politics #fictional politics #the salt of jane crocker #goddamn it dirk #i will be tagging the last two from now on #whenever i have Thoughts on these two in particular

[medicalschoolromantic]

Attraversiamo

One of the last times I blogged about my medical school journey I was studying for my Step 1 exam, questioning my decision to enter the medical field to begin with. A few months have passed since I took the plunge, taking what is considered to be the most important exam in a medical students life, and came out stronger on the other side. I have officially PASSED my first board exam and am now crossing over into my clinical years, the last two years of my medical education before becoming a doctor. A lot has changed since I took my exam, mostly because I can very seldom stay still and allow myself to enjoy this huge success (character flaw that im working on, don’t worry). I took on a part time job in order to help reduce some of the credit card debt I find myself in. 

***Quick tangent*** 

In a world that tends to glamorize difficult things not many people realize just how expensive being a medical student is, loans barely cover living expenses, let alone the outside resources you need to purchase out of pocket in order to prepare for this exam. Don’t even get me started on how expensive practice exams are, or what the total sum of Step 1 itself is...add to that the fact that they don’t provide financial assistance during your dedicated study period and you get a very-stressed-out-medical-student-unable-to-even-afford-her-favorite-starbucks-coffee-at-the-risk-of-not-being-able-to-buy-another-practice-exam-that-she-is-in-desperate-need-of.

***Back to my life update***

In addition to the job, which has nothing to do with medicine and I love it even more for it, I have officially been assigned a clinical rotation. I had assumed it would take months, but I have barely been done with the exam for a month before I was informed of the happy news. Now as I gather all necessary documents, and worry about my next board exam, I find myself in one of those crossroads that you don’t usually realize you’re in until you’re looking back at it. In this moment all I can think of is that scene from “Eat,Pray, Love” where our heroin learns how to pronounce the word “attraversiamo” and her tutor (not mentioning names of characters since thats not the point of the post, and also its been a minute so im sorry if I don’t remember them) responds saying how ordinary the word meaning “lets cross over” is. The word, as well as the action, is...in fact...very ordinary. It happens every day, all the time...we do it mindlessly . For example, I cross over my dogs toys every morning on my way to the restroom, we cross over intersections, highways and bridges on our way to work. Zoom out a little bit and we see ourselves flying across oceans on vacation, and now I am crossing over into the end of my life as a student and it feels very much...normal. Something that was only a dream to my younger self is now in the near future, and the act of that crossing over...the dream crossing over to reality, has now become...so ordinary. It doesn’t take away from the accomplishment, in fact im here typing this feeling very proud of myself, but it’s a little off putting isn’t it? That dreams CAN in fact come true and when they do they assimilate so naturally into every day life. Does it take away some to the magic? I am excited to begin but I am still so exhausted from the end of the last stretch of my journey. I feel as though I should’ve celebrated more, allowed myself to take it in for much longer before focusing on the next to-do list item. Another phrase that was brought up in the aforementioned movie is “Dolce Far niente” the sweetness of doing nothing, pleasant idleness. In the coming months, when im undoubtedly working extremely hard and studying that much harder, I hope to remember this phrase. There is no shame in taking time for yourself, taking time to rest and enjoying it. I, too often, feel the need to fill my down time with items to cross out of a master list and all that does is cause stress when I can be at peace. I will never be the kind of doctor I dreamt about if I burn out by the time I get to work within the field. So this is a promise to myself, while Im attraversiando into the last part of medical school I promise to work hard, while simultaneously giving myself time to relish in the little time I do get to just sit down relax, and do nothing.

[todoscript]

you receive a love letter in your shoe locker from an anonymous admirer

characters: bakugou katsuki, kaminari denki, kirishima eijirou, midoriya izuku, shinsou hitoshi, todoroki shouto

genre: fluff. very slight angst.

word count: 3.2k+ total, 400-700 per character

warnings: jealousy, possessiveness, feelings of doubt (mostly all fluff though)

author’s note: i’ve been on spring break so i found some time to write this! i absolutely love writing for these six (not like they’re my faves or anything pshhhhh—)

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

he’s already fuming the moment you open your locker and hold out the pastel pink card, sealed by a shiny heart sticker with your name written in smooth calligraphy.

it doesn’t take much for him to realize some other dunce head is trying to make moves on his girl.

and he absolutely won’t stand for it.

he stomps over to you and snatches the letter right out of your hands as you’re reading it.

your complaints go ignored behind him while he inspects the writing with the most livid expression.

you know that ugly face he makes when it comes to his over-exaggerated anger? the one with his eyes all squinted and the corners sharpened upward?

that’s his face as he continues reading, growing more twisted at every mushy sentence this anonymous admirer had the gall to say to you.

at one point, he can’t stand to read it anymore so he crumbles the letter in his fist before igniting it into crisps.

you scold him for causing such a scene and letting his anger get the best of him, but bakugou is still annoyed about it regardless.

“tch, who the hell does this shithead think they are, trying to make moves on you when we’re already together?! i’m gonna kill them when i find out who it is!” he exclaims, hands instinctively sparking with heat that scares off the other students walking by.

you mentally facepalm at this. still, you go about reassuring him that you won’t be swayed and take his hand to walk to the dorms together.

“katsu, you know it’s going to take more than a love letter to make me leave you, right?”

“heh, damn right, it’s gonna take a hell of a lot more that’s for fucking sure,” he sneers, a confident smirk on his face as he knows everyone else never had a chance with you to begin with. they can keep sending those letters and he’d make sure to burn them before they could even reach your hand.

on the way back to the dorms, he makes a conscious effort at pda—arm wrapped around your waist while his eyes glare daggers at any extra that even so much as looks at you the wrong way—asserting his claim over you.

meanwhile, having bared witness to that whole scene, your secret admirer is trembling in the corner. they make note to never send you another letter again unless they want their life to flash before their eyes in a fiery explosion.

KAMINARI DENKI

surprisingly enough, kaminari takes the whole situation more positively than most people expected.

in fact, he’s actually prideful about it.

just as he’s about to head over to your locker so you two could walk to class together, sero pokes his shoulder.

“hey, did you see all those written love confessions in y/n’s locker?” sero whispers behind his cupped hand near kaminari’s ear.

the blond scrunches his nose, confused. “no. what love confessions?”

“the letters that were stuffed in your girlfriend’s locker.”

again, kaminari is still puzzled at this. he realizes there’s only one way to understand what sero means.

when he glances in your direction he’s met with you fumbling around with a pile of letters balanced in your arms. his vision zeroes in on the envelopes, deciphering the fancy stationary and pretty embroidery.

oh. they’re love letters.

“other people are trying to make moves on your girl. what are you going to do about it, kaminari?” sero chimes in with an important question and honestly, kaminari can’t exactly make out a solution. or rather, he feels he doesn’t need to.

sure, he should be a little annoyed over the fact that others are disregarding your relationship.

yet could he really blame them for taking such a liking to you?

you’re pretty, smart, nice—the whole damn package.

he’d be more shocked if you didn’t have any secret admirers lurking around.

kaminari decides to leave his friend’s question relatively unanswered and continues his trek to your locker.

“hey, pretty girl! whatcha got there?”

taken off guard by his appearance, you nearly drop all the letters in your arms.

“denki, you scared me!” you exclaim. “these? they’re just some love letters some anonymous person placed in my locker. don’t worry though! i don’t plan on returning their feelings.”

smiling at how quickly you reassure him, he crosses his arms behind his head. “nah i’m not worried, babe. i don’t feel threatened or anything. it only makes sense that my girl is popular after all!”

you’re pleasantly surprised by how rationally he reacts to the scenario. though, knowing his character, he can’t just seem to leave it at that.

“yep, seems like we’re quite the popular couple!” he grabs your hand, wanting to show each other off as you make your way to class.

the bakusquad sees this as another opportunity to egg him on.

“and just how many love letters have you received since the beginning of the school year, kaminari?”

the blond freezes at the question. kaminari bites back words, but begrudgingly answers.

“...zero.”

KIRISHIMA EIJIROU

“heya, babe!” kirishima enthusiastically calls to you, approaching your shoe locker. “ready to go back to the dorms?”

“yeah! in just a second though!” you reply.

as kirishima comes closer, he sees you occupied with some envelopes in your hand.

“what’re all those?” he asks, pointing at the refined stationary curiously.

“ah some letters gifted to me from an anonymous admirer. something about wanting to make their feelings finally known, but i’m not interested in them,” you say, clearing up everything before a misunderstanding could arise.

“oh, that’s cool.”

you quirk a brow at how relatively chill he is at this revelation. you were expecting a bigger reaction at this, but kirishima just simply smiles his genuine, care-free smile.

you don’t think much of it though. shoving the letters in your bag to dispose of later, you walk side-by-side with him to the dormitories.

little do you realize that kirishima actually mistakens this as pure, platonic admiration rather than infatuation.

to him, if they had really wanted to profess their love to you, they’d do it in person where you could see and hear them. not behind fancy penmanship and some pretty paper.

after all, that’s what a true man would do!

but as the days continue to roll by, he’s starting to have second thoughts.

“y/n, i’m telling you, with the amount of letters you keep receiving from them, you gotta find out who this person is!” he overhears mina lecturing you at your desk, going through another pile of notes that were left in your locker from that morning. lately, you’ve been greeted by an astounding number of these things each time you visited your locker.

“mina, there’s definitely no need for me to go out of my way to find this person.”

“aw, but look at all the sweet things they said about you!” mina recites a line from one of many letters. she muses about how the writer sentimentally compares your aura to that of a dandelion wisp in the wind—free and lighthearted yet fleeting and out of reach.

“how romantic!”

you roll your eyes, indifferent, but one side-glance at kirishima from your desk tells you that he’s beginning to interpret the situation differently.

the redhead has to admit that all those things that anonymous admirer said to you were… pretty sweet.

kirishima has always been a man of action—an passionate believer that actions spoke volumes compared to words alone. however, after hearing all of that, he’s wondering how he’s able to compete in that aspect.

he seeks you out during lunch and asks you something beneath a lonely corner of trees.

“y/n, do those kinds of things make you happy..?”

you tilt your head, curious about what he’s exactly referring to. one glimpse back at his demeanor in the classroom earlier with mina gives you an idea.

“do you mean all those letters i keep getting?”

kirishima nods slowly.

“well… i have to admit, it is nice to know that i’m ‘liked’ by other people,” you phrase delicately. “but all those pretty letters and sweet words don’t mean anything to me if they aren’t coming from you. besides, i always thought it’s better to let your actions speak for you, don’t you think?”

hearing your answer, kirishima’s face lights up immediately. before you can properly react, a pair of lips meet your cheek.

you rub the warm skin where his lips touched, flustered for a moment. kirishima grabs your hand, walking you two back to the lunchroom with a newfound surge of conviction in his steps.

MIDORIYA IZUKU

“ooh, look midoriya, seems like someone else has a crush on your girl.”

as midoriya’s tidying up his red shoes and bringing out his slippers for class, his male classmates inform him of the pink envelope held in your hands.

midoriya looks over in your direction. he watches as you peel the letter out of the envelope and begin reading its contents.

he doesn’t miss the slight flustered look on your features, observing how you scan through the writing while tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, glancing over your shoulder as if your secret admirer was peering at you from behind.

“you better hold onto her tightly if you don’t want her stolen from you,” one of the boys warns, more so as a joke, but midoriya doesn’t take their banter lightly.

“knock it off, guys. just because someone else likes her doesn’t mean she’s going to leave me or anything,” he says this with as much confidence as he can muster, but his demeanor betrays him.

when he goes past your desk in the classroom later, he can’t seem to meet your eyes.

“good morning, izuku!” you greet him mirthfully. however, midoriya fails to return the greeting with the same enthusiasm.

“g-good morning, y/n…”

it’s hard for you not to notice that something is up by the way he heads straight to his desk afterward without another word.

throughout class, midoriya finds it a challenge to concentrate on anything but that letter you received that morning. his mind stumbles into the hole of bad possibilities—ones of you leaving him, those sweet words from your anonymous admirer making your heart flutter more than he ever has.

“—zuku… ‘zuku… izuku!”

he gets pulled out from his thoughts by your voice and turns to see the concerned look on your face.

“you okay? you haven’t touched your pork cutlet bowl this entire time.”

he stares down at his food, untouched since he sat down. “oh sorry, i guess something’s just been on my mind today.”

your brows knit together. “it’s about the letter i got today, isn’t it?”

midoriya stares at you, debating whether to deny your statement, but knows it’s pointless to try when it must have been obvious.

you take his silence as confirmation and grasp his hand that lays flat on the table.

“izuku, look at me,” you tell him and watch as his eyes slowly trail to you. “you know i wouldn’t leave you over some silly letter, right? no amount of words they can say to me could ever make me think differently about you.”

at this, a comforted smile spreads on midoriya’s face. he nods and squeezes your hand as a sign he took your words to heart before chowing down on his food, the uncertainty inside him disappearing.

SHINSOU HITOSHI

“another one?” you inquire to yourself in disbelief, opening your shoe locker to discover a rose-colored envelope waiting for you atop your slippers.

“dang, y/n, that’s like the fourth one this week!” uraraka comments, peeking over your shoulder.

“ooh! i wanna see what they wrote for you this time!” mina approaches from behind. you allow her to grab the delicate letter from your fingertips.

she over-exaggeratedly clears her throat, unwrinkling the paper by pinching at the sides. “‘you are the one who brought me sunshine when i only saw rain.’”

“aw! how sweet!” uraraka clasps her hands above her heart, seeming almost moved.

though the girls are all smitten by the love poem, you bite your tongue, hoping to suppress the urge to gag in front of them.

your boyfriend shinsou is on equal wavelength as you, witnessing the scene unfolding so early in the morning. he’s grown tired of replaying this spectacle for the past four days now.

his eyes navigate to the note and envelope in mina’s hand. by the script and the use of the same stationary, shinsou can tell the love letters you’ve been receiving are all from the same person.

“damn dude, you got some serious competition.” overhearing the girls, kaminari jabs at shinsou’s sides teasingly. “so, you gonna do anything about that mysterious guy trying to go after your girl?”

the violet-haired boy shrugs. “why should i? it’s not like i feel threatened.”

kaminari whistles at his confidence.

shinsou says he doesn’t care about it, putting on a level-headed and indifferent facade. but that was honestly far from the truth.

in actuality, he’s a bit pissed.

what kind of person goes around sending anonymous love messages to someone who’s already in a relationship? what the hell do they hope to gain out of doing this?

shinsou more than trusts you won’t be swayed by them, no matter how many times those notes discourteously greet you every morning.

you never bring up the topic of the letters whenever you two are alone, not wanting shinsou to be bothered over it and create a hassle. all in all, he’s grateful for this, and also for the fact that you make a point of never taking any of those letters seriously and dump them into the trash bin whenever the chance arises.

however, he can tell by your body language that the whole situation bothers you and makes you uneasy.

so, during one incredibly early morning, he decides to do some scouting.

he plays off his odd punctuality by saying he left something in the classroom yesterday and wants to get there early to look for it.

lo and behold, he finds a male student hovering around the lockers—suspiciously darting his head back and forth to be on the lookout for any other students.

little does he realize he’s already been caught red-handed.

“hey you.” shinsou abruptly calls out to him and the boy nearly jumps. “what are you doing here?”

the boy panics at his question, fumbling with his answer while hiding something behind his back—what shinsou presumes to be another one of those cheesy letters.

“u-um, just want to get to class early!” he sputters.

“is there any special reason you’re standing in front of my girlfriend’s locker then? ’cause last i checked, the lockers for general education students were located on the opposite side.” shinsou emphasizes his words with a bite of malice, arms crossed.

“i just lost my way is all–” the student suddenly stops mid-speech, his words and actions forcibly coming to a halt. all thoughts are overturned in the presence of shinsou’s quirk.

“i’m going to make this quick and easy for you to understand. not only are you going to forget about this conversation, but you’re also going to stop handing my girlfriend those love letters.” shinsou bends down to the boy’s height, staring at the abyss in his expression.

“and i’d also appreciate it if you kept your eyes off what’s mine.”

it’s safe to say, your influx of letters had been effectively cut off after that day.

TODOROKI SHOUTO

todoroki is no stranger to finding love letters from avid admirers and fans in his shoe locker before and after classes.

in fact, an unprecedented number of them had begun taking up all the space there after his impressive performance at the sports festival.

when he started dating you, however, he had made a clear declaration that he wouldn’t be accepting anymore of them.

but to be on the opposite end of having to watch you unlatch the door of your locker to have letters and notes practically tumbling out, todoroki wasn’t exactly sure what to make of this feeling that made his stomach twist into knots.

he notices the alarming amount of them and concludes they’re all from various students in different grades and departments.

“y/n, you’re getting pretty popular,” uraraka says, eyeing the stack of envelopes. “must be your dance performance from the culture festival! i remember you did get a lot of cheers in the crowd.”

“guess all those cheers came with a lot of fanboys, huh?” the invisible girl, hagakure, teases.

you jokingly nudge at them to stop with the teasing, but pause when your eyes cross todoroki’s. he’s giving you a look you can’t decipher—one that edges between troubled and apathetic yet you can’t tell which it is.

you send him a nod, silently acknowledging his presence as he waits for you to finish your business so you could head back to the dorms together.

watching you dispose of the various piles of letters has todoroki contemplating about what uraraka and hagakure commented on. about how popular you were getting and how your admirers have been bold enough to profess their reverence for you despite your relationship status.

todoroki’s not entirely sure what to make of this information. he doesn’t linger on it for long though when you finally approach him, your sneakers slipped on and your backpack securely hanging off your shoulders.

“ready to head home?”

a smile finds his lips at your appearance. he softly utters his response.

during the small distance to the dormitories, todoroki reaches for your hand and intertwines your fingers together. as seemingly minor the gesture is at this point of your relationship, it’s a detail you mentally take note of.

usually, when it came to publicly displaying physical forms of affection, you were the one to initiate it. you have to admit, seeing the assertive side of todoroki is like a small breath of fresh air.

as you continue your short journey home, a couple of male students walking by greet you enthusiastically. though you wave back to kindly acknowledge them, you feel the grip on your hand tighten, followed by a slight tug closer to todoroki’s side.

that alone is enough for you to realize something is definitely troubling him.

“sho, is there something wrong?” you ask, steps still walking in tandem with him.

todoroki’s voice doesn’t waver in the slightest as he replies, “no, why would you think that?”

“you’ve been awfully possessive all of a sudden,” you note, “is this because of those letters from earlier?”

“...maybe.”

you quirk a brow, amused. “is that a yes or a no?”

now todoroki is silent. your steps come to a halt. not parting your laced hands from his, you turn to look him in the eye.

“sho?”

“it’s just… when i realize that there are other people looking at you the same way i do, i get… uneasy.” his gaze drops to the ground as he confesses this, hand squeezing yours. the uncomfortable churning in his stomach settles a bit now that the words are out, but he finds it hard to ease the atmosphere.

this is where you picked up from where he left off. your hand goes to his cheek, gently cupping it so you can tilt his head up at you.

“oh shouto, you have to know that you’re the only one for me and i don’t plan on looking at anyone else but you,” you assure him. todoroki stares into your eyes, and in them, he can’t find any hesitance or flutter of doubt.

at this, he lifts your twined hands and grazes your knuckles ever so softly against his lips, wondering whatever troubled him so much to begin with.

#bnha x reader #bnha scenarios #bnha headcanons #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #kaminari x reader #kirishima x reader #midoriya x reader #shinsou x reader #shinso x reader #todoroki x reader #mha x reader

[entertainment]

Black Excellence 365 Spotlight: Jay Reeves

New Jersey's Jay Reeves is a multi-talented actor, producer, and musician currently starring in Safety on Disney+. Growing up, Jay ranked #9 out of 100 in the Western Region of Underclassmen and went on to play at Pasadena City College before leaving to pursue a career in acting. After experiencing homelessness, Jay went home to regroup, eventually studying acting in New York, and debuting as Shawn Scott on The CW's All-American. Jay took the time to chat with us about the making of Safety, his music, and Black Excellence. Check it out:

Which scene from Safety had the most impact on you as you were filming it, and which do you hope viewers pay the most attention to?

The most impactful scene for me was the scene about the custody of my little brother. I mean, I grew up with a single mother most of my childhood, and placing myself in that circumstance, as Ray, was hard for me. A young man who has to rise to the occasion and take custody of his little brother is a difficult situation on its own. But when you add the stakes of having such a life-altering conversation with your mother, now that is difficult. It took me to a level of vulnerability that I haven’t been able to showcase thus far.

You’ve said that “as content creators [we] have the obligation to hold a mirror up to the world.” What do you hope to reflect?

I hope to reflect honesty at all times. That’s whether I’m playing a fictional character or someone who lives on this earth, because people gravitate towards that, people love to feel. Most importantly, there’s always someone who can relate to the truth, and that’s whether it’s my truth or the truth I live through on the big screen. There’s always someone who can relate to the story at hand, so I just hope to reflect enough honesty so the audience can organically connect.

How does your experience playing football impact your approach to acting roles?

My past experience in athletics helps me keep a level of discipline when it comes to acting. Just like any professional level player, in the NFL or elsewhere, we have to work every day and treat our bodies well. That looks like eating clean, being prepared, and knowing when to rest, and that all starts with self-discipline. You have to wake up every morning and want these things for yourself before the world can see it for you. I wake up at 5 AM every day just like I’m in high school or college again playing ball. I truly believe that’s the level of intensity you should bring as an entertainer, athlete, or whatever your dream is to be.

What music are you working on right now, and can you give us a sneak peek or hint about what you have coming up?

I’m working on an EP between acting gigs, so it’s early on in the process—a hint would be too much of a giveaway. But I am working with the same folks I have in the past, Ashton McCreight and Spencer Nezey. It’s early in the developmental process, but I trust these guys, and I can’t wait to see what we can collaborate on and put together. However, I did drop two EPs on SoundCloud this week, so be sure to tune in!

If your life was a choose-your-own-adventure, what decisions would viewers have to make on an average day?

Luckily, I do have a career where I can choose my adventure daily. Being an actor, I find myself studying and always learning about so many different careers and life decisions. What’s also cool about being a filmmaker is you get to play around with different periods, so I’m not confined to a box or any kind of structure. We get to imagine and break any form of limitation.

When you hear the phrase “Black Excellence,” what or who comes to mind?

When I hear Black excellence, I can’t help but think of Issa Rae and her infamous speech of saying, “I’m rooting for everyone Black,” because that is how I feel. Black excellence goes so deep, and there’s enough success on this earth for us all to be excellent. As a Black man, I hope to one day no longer be confined to just having the label of Black Excellence, but reaching higher and achieving overall human excellence as a Black man. My mother’s side of my family came from Monrovia, Liberia. I am my ancestors’ wildest dream!

How did you find your voice?

I found my voice falling flat on my face. I moved to Los Angeles, but things didn’t work out on my first go-around. I didn’t have money, and I lost my support by making dumb decisions, so I went back home and scraped up every single dollar and sent off the most prayers I think I’ve ever had in my life. Doing so allowed me to dig deep within myself and realize my true potential—but without that moment of failure, I wouldn’t have had my back against the wall to do so. If you’re dealing with fear, I encourage you to face it with faith because that is how I found my voice, and I’m pretty sure it’s how you’ll find yours.

You have the opportunity to ask an all-knowing genie one question. What do you ask?

If I had the opportunity to ask a genie a question, I would ask him what stock is going to short through the roof because then I would just dump all of my investments and savings into that and ride the wave. But that might be illegal for the genie to tell me that. As young people, I believe we need to no longer be consumers of a product but be producers and makers of products.

What advice would you give to young Black talent looking to get their first break in the entertainment industry?

Shoot your shot, reach out to these CEOs and ask them for advice. Don’t be afraid to ask questions…look for information, look for a mentor and work hard. Nothing worth it is easy. And you wouldn’t want it to be easy anyway. The person we become as we follow our dreams and hit the ground or backs against the wall is the true blessing. The success is the cherry on top.

How do you practice self-care?

I take good care of myself, and it’s as simple as that. I eat clean, I work out, and most importantly, I feed my spirit daily. Even if I’m not feeling in the mood, I’ll pray, and I take time to give thanks. I do whatever it takes for me to feel 100% because health is wealth.

Thanks for taking the time, Jay! Safety is now streaming on Disney+.

#blackexcellence365 #entertainment spotlight #jay reeves

[thekingofwinterblog]

It’s all for his sake - Endeavor and the Sunk Cost Fallacy

My hero academia 301 is a pretty interesting chapter, but for me, the most notable piece of it was how Endeavour reacted to the realization that Touya couldnt surpass All Might.

upon realizing that his son might not be able to do it because of inborn physical limitations, he immediatly stopped his training, which frankly was the responsible and adult thing to do. 

This stint of real parenthood did not last long however.

After taking the matter to a doctor, he is flat out told that not only cant Touya achive what endeavor wants, but it is a direct result of his incredibly selfish and irresponsible attempt to play god, by trying to breed the “perfect” hero into being.

It is how you react when you lose however, that shows who you really are, and endeavor illustrates that very, very well.

Upon being told in no uncertain terms that his attempts at Breeding an heir failed magnificently, producing a child that was not capable of resisting his own immense power, but also admonished by his doctor for even attempting it, and adviced not to try again, Endeavor instead doubled down, while focusing on the child he screwed over from the start with his attempt at genetic manipulation.

It was all for him you see. Endeavor doesnt use those words, but that is how he spins it here. it was all for Touya, all for his sake. if i stop now, then Touya was all for nothing, a mistake, im doing this for my son.

if im doing this for my son, then im not responsible for any of this.

his wife however, calls him out on it, as she understands Touya much, much more than endeavor does. or rather, she sees him fully as a human being, instead of as a thing, a weapon, a failed attempt at an heir.

Unlike Endeavor, Rei is able to see the way this all is affecting her son. She is able to see, and understand that Touya has fully accepted what Endeavor wanted him to be. a stronger, and better version of himself. however, unlike Endeavor, she only cares about him as a person.

Endeavour by comparison isnt completely uncaring about Touya. like most abusive parents, he does possess love for his offspring, but it is forever tainted by the fact that however much he might care, or not care about Touya, any familial love he has for his son is tainted by the fact that to Endeavor, he is a failed experiment, a failed heir, not his child. 

He is the golden child that Endeavor was building up as his true and only heir, who he breed, trained, and molded to for that single purpose, and now that he’s reached a point where he cant continue that legacy.

so, its time to abandon him, and start over new, despite literarily having just learned how stupid this plan was, and that it can, in fact, go completely wrong, with a quirk that will fuck over the person he brings into the world.

Of course, Endeavor doesnt use those words to frame it. there is no way to pretend to be a hero, if you phrase it like that after all. Intead, this is the words he uses.

this is a very important series of panels for a great number of reasons, some that can be debated, argued, and we will probably never know the full truth to the questions because this is a series published in 2020′s shonen jump, and there are things that probably wasnt gonna fly with Hori’s editors, if it was the case.

but lets start with what can not be debated. Endeavor’s words here.

“If we want him to give it up, then we have no choice... Touya... Cant surpass him.”

These are very telling words, and however you believe The third and fourth children of the Todoroki family was concieved, there is not denying the meaning of what he’s saying here.

The only way that my son will stop being an idiot and fall into line, is if we have another baby. that is the only Right way to move forward. it is morally right, because if we dont do this, then he’s going to destroy himself.

there are two ways to interpret this scene.

The charitable way is to read it as the fact that he used Rei’s oldest son’s mental state as a justification of guilting his wife to have a third child, to give this attempt at a superpowered breeding project another shot, despite the fact that they now know that this can lead to a child who is essentially born crippled from his own powers, and despite the fact that Rei obviously understands the effect of them continuing this insanity will have on their oldest son.

the uncharitable way to look at it, is that he used this as justification for flat out raping her, and forcing a third, and then later a fourth child on her.

I personally believe the last one, given a number of factors shown in this chapter(the way this page is framed, the fact Rei obviously didnt want a third child, given she predicted exactly how touya would react, the way her eyes would latet turn when she looks at who is presumably touya which really brings to mind how she would later react to her youngest son’s face after her mental breakdown, etc.), but i’ll frankly admitt that withouth a direct quote from Hori, its impossible to know for sure one way or another. 

either way however, this is a very good example of Endeavor both being influenced by, and using Sunk Cost Fallacy to justify bringing another potentially crippled child into the world for his own, selfish goals.

sunk cost Fallacy, is a mental reaction to when you invest more time and resources into a project, that you becomes so emotionally invested into said project that you will continue to invest into it, even if it reaches a point that it becomes clear that the resources you put into it, far, far outweighs the potential gains you can achieve.

because if you give up after having invested years, and years of effort to breed, raise, and train a kid, and then all that effort was absolutely wasted. hence he choose to keep going, despite having learned what a terrible idea this is.

He doesnt care about the fact that his next child might be even more crippled than his firstborn, he doesnt care about his son’s actual wellbeing. he cares about the fact that if he doesnt continue this insanity, then not only will he not achieve his dreams, but everything he did to get to this point was for absolutely nothing.

and endeavor cannot accept that. and so long as he can justify breeding more children into the world, and there being any chance they might inherit both quirks perfectly, he doesnt care about anything else.

and the moment he realised that this kid wasnt gonna cut it either, he did it again. it is not a coincidence, that the age gap between Endeavor’s second, third, and fourth children were all 3-4 years apart. because thats the age where you can usually tell when a quirk will manifest or not, as established earlier in the series.

While she isnt brought up directly by Endeavor as a justification, it is very telling that Endeavor decided on having a third child, only after his second child was old enough that he could tell that that there was no chance she could take the place as his heir instead.

So, he had his third child, and as time passed and it became obvious that he wasn’t gonna be able to fulfill Endeavor’s goals either, he dumped him, and instead breed a fourth child into existence.

and finally, he struck gold. he did it. he produced Shoto.

everything was finally worth it, and now, everything would be absolutely fine. the cost fallacy had reached its end, and it was now all full sails ahead.

except of course it wasnt.

His oldest son, now in middle school, had been raised from birth to believe he would surpass his father, only to be thrown away, and getting to see his father try to replace him, not once, but twice.

frankly, this scene is probably my favorite in the chapter, because it goes to show Endeavor’s mindset. Natsuo made a point that their father completely ignored his older children. and he did... from Natsuo’s perspective. however, having a more thourough picture of things, we can clearly see that this wasnt the case with Touya.

Endeavor genuinly cared for Touya, enough that once he got that child he tried to breed into existence 4 times, he genuinly wanted him to just abandon trying to be a hero. he genuinly thinks of himself as a good dad here, wanting his son to abandon the mission he set out for him before he was born. of course, with context, this heartwarming scene is incredibly sad and insidious, because we understand why Endeavor got so attached to his oldest child. because he WAS the golden child. he was the child Endeavor genuinly cared about, and invested in, and trained personally with great warmth and enthusiasm.

And not only did he abandon him as a failed project the moment he realized he wasnt gonna live up to his ridiculous standards, but he literarily created 2 more kids to try and replace him, just as his oldest son was old enough to understand what exactly his dad was doing. over the course of this chapter, we get to see Touya’s start as a 5-8 year old, his deteriorating mental state over the years, until he finally seemed to reach the breaking point with Shoto’s birth sometime in his middle school years 12-15. 

Endeavor is in this scene, just not capable of understanding why Touya so desperately wants to become a hero, when obviously he isnt physically able to do so. he isnt able to understand that he is 100% to blame for the fact that his son is having a full emotional breakdown after literaly being replaced by his siblings. 

In other words, Endeavor genuinly think’s he’s a good person. a person who has made a few mistakes along the way sure, but a person who was always justified in the end, and now that he’s having to face the fact that as dabi would later say “The past never dies” and has to face the aftermath of his inane attempt to play god for the pettiest of reasons, things simply arent going to work out.

He isnt going to have a happy family, who can now put the awful early years behind them, he put way too much effort, caused too much suffering and sacrificed too many years of his life for this not to work out as he wants.

after all, if he walks away from this project now, and lets Shoto have a normal childhood, and decide for himself, with no pressure from him, wheter or not to become a hero, then the sunk cost fallacy will have reached a negative end. it will all have been for nothing.

and we know he did eventually double down on this mentality, literarily beating into Shoto that he WAS going to become a hero, and there was not but’s or no’s about it.

there was no way that Endeavor was EVER going to let things be for nothing. His treatment of his older children could not be for nothing. His treatment of his wife could not be for nothing. His treatment of Shoto, and the way he beat him black and blue to train him, could not be for nothing.

Because if it all was for nothing, if everything he feels guilty about was for absolutely nothing, then he was in fact, a bad, bad person, who had no justification for anything he ever did.

#my hero academia #touya todoroki #dabi #endeavor #endeavour #enji todoroki #rei todoroki #character study #301 #meta

[smolcobie]

Juyeon | Exciting Kiss

↪ Summary: Juyeon shows you what’s an exciting kiss feels like.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Suggestive | Making Out | Female Reader | Fluffy

The soft music of the elevator filled the empty space that seemed to only increase their tension there. Juyeon was propped up on the elevator rail while watching you play with the knots of the blue blouse you were wearing.

He took advantage of the occasion to get a better look at you. "She's hot." It was the conclusion that Juyeon came when he saw your black hair falling on your shoulder, the bangs that adorned your sculpted face, your long and shiny brown legs.

You didn't know how to express the way you were feeling. You met Juyeon through tinder, trying to find someone who could help your problems with boys.

Since a cute guy from your class asked you on a date, you felt your head spinning. You didn't know how to kiss or even talk to a guy. That's why you agreed to meet Juyeon, who was coincidentally from the same college as yours.

You texted for a few days until he decided to help you. He gave the offer and you couldn't deny it. He was so charismatic and charming that you accepted the moment he asked for you to come to his house. So now you are in his building, with absolute silence in the elevator.

He came out of the trance when he heard the sound of the elevator opening its doors, indicating that you two finally reached the designed floor. Juyeon got out first taking his key while you followed him from behind.

"Don't mind the mess, I just arrived from a trip 2 days ago." Juyeon commented laughing as he opened the door and revealed the interior of his wonderful home.

"This is what you call a mess?" You laughed "Your house is amazing!"

"Thanks, I always liked clean furniture." He gave a heated laugh walking to the kitchen counter "Do you want something to drink?"

"Only one cup of water is fine." You sat on the large sofa that was extremely soft. You ran your hand over the material, it looked like it was velvet.

'Rich people stuff...' You thought analyzing every detail of the place.

"Here." Your thoughts were interrupted by the deep voice of the boy who sat beside you handing over the glass.

"Thanks." You drank the glass in 5 seconds. It looked like you'd never seen water in your life.

"Were you this thirsty?" He laughed taking the empty glass from you who was nervously holding the hem of your skirt "If you want more, I can get for you." He gently said.

"No need..." You gave an embarrassed laugh "It's just that I'm nervous."

"Why?" He looked at you with curiosity "I told you that I’ll help you."

"It's because I'm embarrassed, you know..." You sighed, leaning your head on the upholstery behind you "It’s just that I'm so pitiful because I can't even talk to a boy... That's why I accepted your offer."

"This is more normal than you think, you don't have to feel pressured about it." He smiled before leaving the glass on the center table of the room "If that consoles you, on my first blind date I accidentally spilled all the ketchup sauce on the girl."

You laughed and covered your mouth as the boy smiled.

"I know, I know. It's very funny now, but at the time she cursed me a lot." He was in a good mood "I'm sorry, I didn't want to laugh, but I imagined the whole scene." You laughed as the boy looked at your shamelessly.

"So... tell me about you." His gaze penetrated to the very last dermis of your skin "Why someone as nice as you single?"

"Well... I don't know." You looked away for a second when you felt your cheeks warming up "I don't have a right answer for that, but I don't think I know how to deal with boys, especially the handsome ones."

"I see..." Juyeon seemed to be interested in everything you said "A boy invited you for a date and you're afraid to miss this chance, right?"

"Yes... well, it's not like he's my soulmate, but I'd like to know that I have one chance, at least, with a boy without screwing it up."

Juyeon watched how your lips moved, the way you fixed your glasses... It seemed to be easier than he thought because he couldn't imagine a universe in which a guy wouldn't like a girl, nice and innocent up to that point.

"Got it." Juyeon approached you slightly, removing your glasses putting them on the table "So, do you want to start now?" He gave a sweet smile after wetting his lips quickly with his tongue "I've got nothing to do now. I'm free to do whatever you wanna do."

You froze, felt your throat close, and your heart puncture with the boy's phrase. ‘How can he be so direct like that?’ You thought smiling embarrassedly.

"Look, I don't mean to force you to do anything." Juyeon soon realized how nervous you were "The last word is yours, I'm just here to help you with whatever you want."

"Okay, yes, I want to." You spoke with the rest of the courage you had, looking into the boy's black eyes.

He just gave a little laugh through his nose before approaching you as if he was studying your every action.

"Are you sure?" He asked again, receiving only an answering nod.

He smiled to himself before touching your neck with his right palm. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes as if you were afraid to see what would happen there.

Juyeon approached his face by pressing his nose against yours. He realized how tense you were and stepped back a little so he could go more slowly.

"Don't think about it too much, just... relax and let it happen." He stroked your cheek so that he could calm you down. "If you think too much about it, you can't do it."

"Okay." You sighed, took a deep breath trying to calm yourself as you felt Juyeon's fingers trail along the side of your neck, while he gave a shy kiss on your jaw.

When he felt that you relaxed a little more, he dragged his lips from your jaw to the corner of your mouth. He opened his eyes quickly to see your reaction and then smiled at the sight of your pink cheeks, eyes closed tightly and your hands squeezing his shirt.

"Have you ever kissed before?" He asked as he gently kissed your cheek and caressed your neck.

"Yes, but..." You were interrupted when you felt the boy's arm pulling around your waist.

"But?" Juyeon asked you who opened your eyes slightly to face the boy staring at your figure.

"It wasn't an incredible experience, you know?" You looked away. "Like it was just... bland kisses, it wasn't exciting."

"Hum..." Juyeon thought for a moment before whispering in your ear "Do you want an exciting kiss?" His raspy voice made a shiver ran down your spine the moment you heard the boy's thick voice so close to you.

"If you know how to do this, then yes." You spoke comically, trying to mask your nervousness.

"You really don't know me." He laughed through his nose smirking before facing you again.

He looked at your lips and ran his thumb there wanting to feel the texture. You couldn't stand the boy's stare and closed your eyes again trying to calm down.

Wasting no more time, he pecked you. He saw how red you was, so he tried again.

And again, again and again.

More and more he stayed a little longer. He felt your soft lips against him, getting used to your taste.

He in no time approached your body, pushing your body backward making your back hit on the soft couch.

You opened your eyes nervously but soon calmed down when you saw Juyeon fix the little strands of your hair that were spread all over your face.

"Relax, today we're just going to kiss." He said before bending down and fitting his face to your neck.

You felt butterflies arise deep down in your stomach as you wondered 'What did he mean by only 'today'? What could happen in the future?’ But soon your thoughts were dispelled when you felt his lips again.

This time with more strength, more intensity, and more desire. You’re tall, but when you felt Juyeon's tall body on top of yours, you felt small for the first time in your life.

You felt bold and put your arms around the boy's neck, pulling him close. He hugged your waist and tightened it even more as he distributed kisses over your collarbone.

You sank your fingers into the boy's hair, who smiled. He came over and gave one last kiss, slow and deep as if he wanted to reward you for being so patient and cute.

You could feel the taste of his tongue sighing into his mouth and shivered when he gave a little moan.

Juyeon slowed down and gave quick pecks before facing you who was all red and with marked lips.

"Did you like it, beautiful?" Juyeon questioned while you tried to calm down your own breathing.

"Yes." You replied shyly, smiling before feeling the boy's lips on the corner of your neck.

“Are you hungry? I can order something if you want.” Juyeon asked while silently hoping you wouldn't realize how much he enjoyed being this intimate with you.

"I'm fine, but if you want to, you can order something." You replied but your insides actually wanted to continue the brief actions they were doing just a few moments ago.

"Okay then, I'm going to order pizza and you can tell me more about yourself." Juyeon reluctantly got up from the couch before giving you another peck and smiling broadly "I want to know everything about you."

"I'll only tell you if you tell me about yourself too." You stood up, fixing your clothes and hair.

"So we have a deal." Juyeon replied before going after his cell phone and calling the pizzeria.

At that moment, you knew this was a terrible idea. Because you'd enjoyed kissing Juyeon more than you should have.

▪︎

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MASTERLIST

#the boyz #juyeon #the boyz juyeon #tbz #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #juyeon fluff #juyeon smut #juyeon au #juyeon scenarios #juyeon imagines #juyeon x reader #the boyz x reader #juyeon blurbs #juyeon drabbles #juyeon fanfic #juyeon fics #Juyeon fics

[bokutosworld]

a piece of you in me | hq boys in love

characters: kageyama, tsukishima, kenma, akaashi, kita!   

wc: 1.5k words, fluff!!! 

prompt: "i am a mosaic of everyone i've ever loved, even for a heartbeat." 

-> the little things that remind them of you and how your love has made them feel complete

---

KAGEYAMA TOBIO: He picks up on your favorite expressions and phrases, and slowly incorporates them in his life and makes them his own. He doesn't even realize it, that he's already scrunching his nose like you do when you see something you don't like. Or that when he's thinking hard about something, he's tilting his head in the way that you do. There are also subtle changes in the way he reacts when Hinata messes up his spikes -- less shouting and more helpful explaining of how his partner could improve. And when the team sees this, they are dumbstruck and left thinking how you were a good influence to him.

"What do you think of this, Tobio?" You summon your boyfriend to help you decide on which dress to buy. He immediately walks over to you, putting a hand on your waist as he settles by your side and gives a look over to the clothing item. He hums as he tilts his head, eyes narrowing as he imagines how it would like on you.  

As the two of you were too engrossed on choosing what to buy, an old saleslady passes by the aisle and smiles at the scene in front of her. She watches as Kageyama takes dresses from the racks and takes you in front of a mirror to help you see which looks better. She takes note of how the two of you act so in sync, how his actions complement yours. But what the lady is most amazed about is how the two of you come to the same exact decision at the same time. It was a refreshing sight to see a young couple going along so well, that the old lady can't help but think that you two were meant to be.

TSUKISHIMA KEI: He remembers how on your very first date at that summer festival, you didn't hold back on trying the different kinds of food and snacks. You left quite the impression on him, so much so that after years of being together, you are the first person that pops up in his mind when he's trying a new restaurant with his family or friends. It's like second nature to him to scan the menu, looking for dishes that you would like and making a mental note to take you to that particular place.  

The waiter arrived at your table, placing the plate of stacked pancakes right at the center. At this point, you and Tsukishima were starving after spending almost twenty minutes in waiting. He excitedly brought you out to brunch, sharing how much you'll like the breakfast menu at this new restaurant. And he wasn't wrong.

Your jaw almost dropped, seeing the most scrumptious stack of chocolate pancakes. It was topped with the most luscious pieces of strawberries and covered with maple syrup that was slowly drizzling down the plate. You were quick to take shots of your order from different angles. When you were finally satisfied with the photos, you look up to see Tsukishima extending his hand and offering you a piece of pancake which you gladly accepted. Your eyes went wide, glancing at your boyfriend who had his hand tucked under his cheek and gazing at you lovingly. He says, "I knew you’d like it."

KOZUME KENMA: He knows how much of a cinephile you are. Whenever the two of you are watching movies over at his apartment, you never fail to share one random fact about the film that was currently playing. He adores how you are updated with the latest movies in production or those that are soon to be released. That's why he's developed a habit to always check the movie times in the nearest theater, monitoring it to see if the film you have been raving about is finally showing. The boys often extend an invitation to him for movie nights but they're aware that there's no else he'd rather watch together with than you.

It was the third time this week that you stayed behind at work for overtime. Any other day would be fine, but Kenma thought that you deserved an early time off on a weekend. Seeing that he had free time, he decides to surprise you with a trip to the movies. It so happened that earlier in the morning, he chanced upon the movie releases and saw that a sequel to your favorite movie was showing.

When he shows up at your office, he sees your worn out figure hunched over the desk. He had to stop himself from physically dragging you out of the building, opting to wake you and drop the tickets he bought in your lap.

"What is this," you question him. The knobs in your head were turning and soon, it finally clicks that this was the movie that you've been waiting for. "Oh god, is it premiering tonight? How did you know?" He answers you by throwing your coat to your table, and telling you to hurry before you miss the movie.

He was helping you wrap the scarf around your neck, his hands finding its way to cup your cheeks. "I figured you'd forget since you had a busy week. So, I wanted to reward you." He presses a kiss to your forehead, "I'm proud of you. Let's go."

AKAASHI KEIJI: Since you started having sleepovers together, his apartment feels emptier without you. Like how you've etched your way in his life, you've managed to leave a mark in his home. It's in the way that your scent lingers in his pillowcases, the way you've positioned your toothbrush next to his. He's even started looking forward to mornings because you always make him coffee in the way he likes it. He's starting to think that you seem to know you way around his own house better than he does -- but he's not complaining. It's only got him imagining what the future would like, living with you.

You discard the grocery bags you were holding atop the kitchen counter of Keiji's apartment. Over a phone call earlier, he mentioned that he would be going home late and you thought it would be nice to cook him some dinner that he can enjoy when he returns. You thought about what you were going to prepare and decided that a good bowl of katsudon would lift his spirits after a tiring day at work.

When Keiji arrives home, he catches a whiff of something good coming from the kitchen. It wasn't unusual for him to return and see you at his place - in fact, he'd love it more if he could always come home to you. When he spots you working your magic in the kitchen, he feels himself fall for you over again. He couldn't help himself as he was now walking over to you and wraps his arms around you. You jump at the sudden contact, but relax when you feel him hum, "You're a wonderful sight to come home too. Move in with me already, please."  

KITA SHINSUKE: The moment you walked into his life, it's like a garden of flowers bloomed inside his heart. He discovers that there's a certain beauty in the different kinds of flora, especially with how they each carry a special meaning. And since falling in love with you, he can't help but have his thoughts drift to you when he's passing by a flower shop. He can't stop the way his feet carry him inside, allowing him to browse and leaving with a bouquet in hand. It doesn't matter whether you're celebrating an anniversary or not -- he'll manage to have you fall head over heels for him again when he surprises you with flowers. 

Like any other day, you found Shinsuke waiting for you at the lobby of your office building. He was seating with his legs crossed, his eyes focused on the video that was playing on his phone. Your heart soars with how he looked exceptionally handsome tonight and you find yourself wondering how lucky you were to be with him.

He notices you from afar and waves toward your way, standing and waiting for you to come to his open arms. You smile and almost run to him, falling to his embrace and immediately getting the comfort you've been craving since the morning. He gently kisses the top of your head and declares, "Good work today."

"Thank you, Shinsuke," you break away and return his loving gaze with one of yours. He turns his back for a moment, and when he faces you once more, you see a bouquet of beautiful flowers in his hands. You take them in your hands, feeling your heart beating fast, "Oh, babe. You didn't have to."

"I know, but I want to. They're gerberas, and do you know what they mean?" When you shake your head to say no, he chuckles and brings one hand to cup your cheek as he says his next words. "Beauty. And loyal love. So you know I'll always be here waiting for you."

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fluff #haikyuucreations #kageyama x reader #tsukishima x reader #kenma x reader #akaashi x reader #kita x reader #hq x reader #hq x you #haikyuu x you #haikyuu!!

[andypantsx3]

Hii can I request a deleted scene for "if I could keep cool" that tells chapter 2 from Shouto's POV? I would absolutely love to c what was going through Shouto's head when he figured out that Y/N was just a cleaning lady and what was the moment that made him want to ask her out when he saw her at his house afterwards! Thank u!!

I accidentally got carried away, so this bad boy is 1.9k!! My apologies lol. I hope you like it!!

It wasn’t every day that someone told Shouto Todoroki to go fuck himself. 

Particularly not quirkless civilians, and never those he’d rescued. 

There was usually a lot more breathless gratitude, some bowing and scraping, and—mystifyingly—a lot of phone numbers, handkerchiefs, and very unsubtle attempts to get a hand or two around his biceps. Shouto didn’t really know what his biceps had to do with it, but he’d seen the same thing happen to Midoriya and Kirishima as well—and Bakugou once, before he’d nearly gnawed the woman’s hands off—so he assumed it was just another social cue he’d never understand.

As little as he cared for social cues, however, he was certain that there was usually a lot more thank you and a little less go fuck yourself involved in the whole rescuing process.

But then, he’d also never told off a civilian for having been kidnapped before. 

A civilian who, he’d come to realize almost immediately afterward, hadn’t deserved it.

When he’d asked his mother her advice over the phone, she’d told him the best thing to do was to be honest and try to start fresh. “White flowers mean forgiveness—tulips new beginnings,” she’d advised him.

So Shouto had ducked into the nearest florist and brought back an apology in hopes that you would accept it. 

He might have known, however, that you’d manage to turn even a simple apology completely on its head.

The clatter of cleaning supplies in his kitchen on Thursday afternoon told Shouto you’d let yourself in for your usual shift. He followed the sound, only for it to halt at his approach, the kitchen seemingly empty as he drew nearer.

He stopped short, fighting down a surprised swell of amusement when he realized you’d ducked down, hiding yourself behind his counters as if anyone, especially a pro hero, might be fooled by that.

“I know you’re there,” he said, keeping his tone even.

He heard a muttered swear word, and then you were rising slowly to your feet, wearing a sheepish expression, and clutching a bottle of windex like a weapon.

You looked just as you had the day of your rescue, though obviously a little less harrowed by a kidnapping. You were dressed casually in jeans and a simple shirt, no indicator that you were an employee of a cleaning service—Shouto felt at least a little justified in his mistake from last week.

You were clearly a college student, the backpack dumped at his kitchen island was evidence of that much, overflowing with textbooks and notes as it was, and you looked just slightly disheveled, like you might have come straight from class.

It was part of some nebulous, unassuming appeal to you, now that he had occasion to notice. He’d remembered your features twisted up in disdain, but they were open in surprise now, your eyes wide, fixed on him. His own eyes were drawn to the scrunch of your nose, a little curl of embarrassment that he suddenly found himself unable to tear his gaze away from.

“I, uh, thought you weren’t supposed to be here,” you admitted to him with a visible cringe.

Shouto almost laughed. He didn’t know much about you, but it was clear to him now that you weren’t anything like a crazy fan. You looked like you’d rather be anywhere but here at the moment. In fact, you looked rather like you might bolt any second.

A strange feeling shifted in his chest, and Shouto cut right to the chase.

“I owe you an apology,” he said simply.

You startled so violently that you dropped the windex. “W-what?”

Shouto sighed, admitting, “My manager schedules the cleaning days. I didn’t realize that you were—that is to say, I thought you were a fan who had broken in and managed to get kidnapped while you were at it.”

You gaped, another confused little expression that Shouto found himself fixating on with an intensity that surprised him. The weird feeling in his chest shifted, burning a little hotter. 

He wondered absently what other expressions he could get you to make.

“Oh, I, um...nope. Not a fan,” you said, and the feeling grew more insistent. 

He paused over the phrasing—not a fan. 

It had never bothered him before, when someone was a bigger fan of a classmate than they were of him, or weren’t really a hero fan at all. Shouto honestly did not quite understand why hero work was so tied up in fandom in the first place, and only attended fan events because his manager’s temper was not a thing to be trifled with. 

He wanted to be a hero who put people at ease, but ease was the last thing he felt with people clamoring all over him. Fighting villains was infinitely more preferable.

So why did your admission that you weren’t a fan of his niggle at his brain, like a particularly insistent parasite?

Who were you a fan of, if not him? 

“...Well, glad that’s cleared up now. I’ll just, uh, go then,” you said, grabbing an armful of the cleaning supplies and shoving it back under the sink hastily.

Shouto had moved before he knew what he was doing, getting himself in between you and the door out to the hallway. 

“Wait,” he said, feeling uncomfortable. “I want to make up for what I said to you. You...didn’t deserve that, especially not right after you’d been kidnapped by a villain.”

He watched you eye the space between his hip and the counter, like you were considering making a break for it. As he watched your face, he felt some strange hope that you might try it, a certainty he would catch you. 

...Why did he want to catch you?

You waved a hand. “It’s fine. You saved me, we can call it even.”

Shouto’s mouth turned down minutely. He’d behaved badly, but surely you’d credit him better manners than that. “It’s my fault you were taken in the first place. I’d like to apologize properly.”

Your face did something weird, then, another distracting little curl of the nose. “You don’t actually have to go fuck yourself,” you blurted.

Shouto stared at you, caught off guard.

“Uh, I mean. You saved my life,” you babbled suddenly. “And yeah what you said to me was super rude, but what I said to you was also super rude. So, um, I’m sorry too. And I really would just like to call it even and forget about it because it’s super embarrassing for both of us and I could literally die thinking about it.”

You stopped suddenly, looking self-conscious like you’d realized you’d been rambling. Shouto almost wished you hadn’t.

“I hadn’t really planned on it,” he said quickly.

“Hadn’t planned on what?”

“Fucking myself,” he clarified. You choked on a shocked laugh, and he let a small smile tug at his mouth—there.

Finally.

Finally you looked a little more comfortable with him. 

Shouto tried hard not to look too pleased with himself.

“Oh, well that’s good, then," you said. Then you puffed up a little, adding, "That’s probably a job for your actual secret lover.”

Good lord. “Not you, too.”

You threw him a smile, and Shouto’s heartbeat tripped over itself. “But I have evidence. I saw that homemade soup in your fridge once with the love note attached.”

It took him a moment to focus on what you were saying, but Shouto recalled the soup in question. It had been quite good, even if Bakugou had spent almost a half an hour ranting about what a weak ass little bitch he was for catching a cold. It had almost been worth it, the soup was that delicious. “Ah yes. That secret lover.”

“Cute pet name, too,” you said.

Shouto let out a low laugh, recalling the note. “You fucking fuck, was it?”

You laughed too, tension easing from your shoulders. Shouto’s eyes hungrily traced even that small movement.

A dawning sense of what was happening finally settled over him as he pronounced, “As it happens, however, I did already plan more of an apology.”

You looked up at him, your brow furrowing. “You planned...more of an apology?”

He gestured to a tall vase of white tulips on the kitchen counter. Your eyes went a little rounder as you observed them. You looked like you weren’t sure if they were for you, as if there were another previously kidnapped cleaning girl lurking about, who might be in need of an apology.

What a fascinating thing you were.

“I’ve been told that they mean forgiveness and new beginnings. I had hoped that we might...start over,” Shouto explained. He couldn’t help but feel self-conscious.

“I didn’t bring you any flowers,” you blurted.

He covered up a surprised laugh with a cough, the feeling in his stomach burning hotter. “I hadn’t expected them.”

He watched you turn back thoughtfully to the bouquet, certain now.

Over the phone, his mother had also said white flowers carried connotations of honor and purity. Two notions, Shouto realized with a growing sense of curiosity, that may be entirely inapplicable to his feelings about you.

He didn’t know much about you, but he knew for certain that he’d like to know more. And as he watched you reach out to pluck at a petal, wearing a shy little smile, he thought that yes, honor and purity had very little to do with his intentions at the moment.

You thanked him for the flowers, and Shouto made it clear to you that he hadn’t meant what he’d said about you being unwelcome here. He wanted—no, desired your return now. 

“That’s good to hear, thank you,” you said. Then your smile went a little mischievous. “As you can see, though, it didn’t really deter me.”

Shouto let himself smirk. “If I hadn’t seen the cleaning supplies already on the counter, I would be concerned that you’d come back for revenge.”

“There’s still time,” you joked. “Maybe I was going to play the long game and fill all the bottles with Sprite.”

The mulish statement surprised him into another laugh. “I hope the flowers are enough of a deterrent.”

You looked over the flowers again, then smiled up at him. His eyes caught on your mouth.

“The bribe has been accepted. Your countertops are safe from me.” You paused, then added, “For now.”

The hot feeling was everywhere now, simmering just underneath Shouto’s skin. He left himself lean towards you, relishing in the way your breath caught in a tiny hitch. “Be warned that I will do whatever it takes to ensure the safety of my countertops.”

You complained that he hardly used them, but complied nevertheless. Then you bullied him out of the kitchen, that tiny little scrunch back on your nose.

Shouto let you have your way, making his way over to the couch and settling on it with a book he had absolutely no intention of reading. Instead, as he watched you clean, he considered things.

He had always been straightforward about his goals. Once he’d chosen heroism as his dream, he’d let nothing stand in his way, working diligently all through UA, shooting nonstop through the ranks before breaking into the top five this year, one of the youngest to have ever done it. 

He was deliberate about what he wanted. He worked hard for what he wanted.

And as he wandered back towards the kitchen, questions ready in his mouth, he knew what else he wanted.

He wanted to know more about you.

He wanted to spend more time with you.

He wanted…

Well, he rather thought he wanted you.

I was going to edit this but every time I went to touch it, I made it worse. I hope you liked it anyway!

Garbage Fest masterlist & schedule.

#garbage fest 2021 #garbage fest questions

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts

A Journey in the Dark

Remember that time Gandalf torched a bunch of random wolves right before they got to Moria? Pepperidge Farm remembers

Bro I would’ve loved to see the Gate-Stream and the Stair Falls back when Moria was at its peak. That sounds totally legit.

Frodo already knows that Sam will be upset about having to leave Bill. My heart. ;-;

Movie!Sam: “Bye-bye, Bill.” Book!Sam: *ANGRY BAWLING, THROWS ALL THE BAGS ON THE GROUND IN A TANTRUM, SITS DOWN AND CRIES*

Dude, Boromir is the one who threw the rock!! And Frodo told him off about it! LOL It makes sense that they changed it to Merry and Pippin throwing rocks and Aragorn stopping them but duuuuuude, there really is not one member of this Fellowship that isn’t an IdiotTM.

Wanna know how much Sam loves Bill the Pony? He’s weeping and cursing at having to leave him for Frodo. Wanna know how much Sam loves Frodo? He’s willing to leave Bill the Pony to save him.

FRODO CAN SEE IN THE DARK 8-O

Pippin literally just…threw a rock down the well. Wasn’t an accident or anything. He just saw a big hole and felt the urge to YEET.

Gollum Gollum Gollum Gollum

Gimli’s song! More dwarven poetry please!

BRO?? “He is dead then; I feared it was so” is FRODO’S line. HE’D been the one suspecting the worst the whole time!! Look at my man being smart and intuitive and also OW

The Bridge of Khazad-Dum

FRODO STABBED THE TROLL IN THE FOOT LET’S GOOOOOO

Sam stabbed an orc! Lookit my boys being epic!

The funniest thing to me is that Aragorn picks up Frodo like a sack of potatoes and runs for the stairs with him for a whole half a minute before they realize Frodo is actually alive LOL

“[Gandalf] seemed to be still standing guard by the closed door. Frodo breathed deeply and leaned against Sam, who put his arms about him. They stood peering up the stairs into the darkness.” Mmmmfff slay meeeeee

I mean, is Frodo leaning on Sam because he’s hurting and out of breath from being skewered? Is Sam holding him to keep him on his feet? Are they hugging each other because their Wizard is up there fending off the encroaching evil without them and, like scared children, there’s little they can do but hold on to and comfort one another?? All of it at once?? Yes???

Good thing Gandalf needed a breather or we wouldn’t have an excuse to talk about Frodo’s fancy mithril shirt in the middle of this escape scene

Legolas is the embodiment of “I fear no man. But that thing— *points at Balrog* —it scares me.”

GANDALF’S STAFF BROKE. A “BLINDING SHEET OF WHITE FLAME”. GANDALF YELLING AT THEM TO RUN AS HE FELL. AAAAAAHHHHHH.

“Frodo heard Sam at his side weeping, and then he found that he himself was weeping as he ran.” First of all, this is phrased beautifully, and secondly, HI, CALL ME GANDALF ‘CAUSE I’M DEAD.

Lothlorien

Aragorn, about Gandalf’s death: “I hate it when I’m right”

Gimli be like “Yes I know we just lost our wizard and someone you’ve known since you were very young but ROAD TRIP 8-D COME SEE THE TOURIST ATTRACTION WITH ME FRODO”

If I were any better at drawing landscapes I’d draw the reflection in the Mirror of Kheled-zaram. It sounds beautiful.

Frodo and Sam lagging behind the others and holding each other up mmmmmph

Legolas: “Uh, hey, bro, we might wanna… *points at Frodo and Sam*” Aragorn: “OH DIP OH SHOOT BOROMIR GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME OH MY GOSH FRODO I’M SO SORRY D-8”

Remind me to draw the two Men carrying the two wounded hobbits. Cozy.

Honestly that glade seems like a really lovely place to be after a traumatic incident like that.

*debates with myself whether to mention how ever so gently Aragorn stripped Frodo to tend his wounds and how surprised I am that the internet hasn’t sunk its filthy claws into that passage yet*

Legolas: “What a beautiful river! I’m going to sing a song about it.”

I mean if a tree yelled at you when you tried to climb it, you would be startled too.

“‘Yes, they are Elves,’ said Legolas, ‘and they say that you breathe so loud that they could shoot you in the dark.’ Sam hastily put his hand over his mouth.” SAM BBY

“Legolas ran lightly up, and Frodo followed slowly; behind him came Sam trying not to breathe loudly.” HAHAHA SAM BBY NOOOOOO

Frodo asks a question in Common Speech. The elf answers in Elvish. Frodo asks more questions in Common Speech without switching to Elvish like he totally could do instead.

On a scale of Haldir to Sam, how good would you be at crossing the rope bridge? I put myself somewhere below Pippin. I have a pretty good sense of balance, but it depends how taut the rope is.

Bro the blindfold thing makes me so mad. I understand why they did it, but still, bruh. Lothlorien, this is why I don’t like you.

“And talking Frodo’s hand in his, [Aragorn] left the hill of Cerin Amroth and came there never again as living man.” Me: oh ;-;

#gandalf #frodo baggins #samwise gamgee #bill the pony #boromir #peregrin took #pippin #gollum #gimli #aragorn #legolas #haldir #lord of the rings #lotr #my writing #long post #assorted thoughts

[soggyjulpod]

— cargo pants

summary: misinterpretion featuring a line from the wilds, “i’m not a lesbian, sorry to disappoint. i just like storage.”

warning: lil bit of angst but there's fluff, kissing, confident!reader (whoop!), also bi reader for this plot to work out, so sorry if ur purely homo

word count: 1.7k

on a tuesday night you found yourself sitting in a circle playing a game of truth or dare which was suggested by jackson’s very own dysfunctional couple, jesse and dina.

the chatter and laughter of the game continued around you but you were only focused on the redhead who sat across from you in the circle. though the redhead didn’t seem to notice the set of eyes on her as she was in deep thought.

ellie finally looked up when dina called on her to pick truth or dare. she noticed your eyes on her and her cheeks blush pink and sends you an awkward smile.

“uh dare i guess.” ellie says. there was a mischievous glint in dina’s eyes, “i dare you to kiss [y/n].”

the color from ellie’s face drained, instant panic set in. “what? dina, no.” ellie protests, “don’t make it weird.”

before dina could respond to ellie’s protests, you spoke up, “it’s ok i don’t mind.” you say scooting across the circle, sitting right in front of ellie. you felt your insides bubble in excitement but outwardly you appeared aloof, not wanting anyone to see a crack in your confidence.

“you know we don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” the redhead whispers quietly for only you to hear. 

you lean closer to ellie, your lips just a hair away from her ear. this action causes a light blush to creep up on her freckled face. 

“we got this, don’t want them to think we pussy out of things, right?” you say and move away with a grin on your face. 

ellie gives you a shaky smile, trying to calm herself down at how close her crush was to her. you looked at each other, it felt like everything around you two had vanished and it was just the two of them.

your trance was broken by jesse who yelled at you two to “kiss already! we don’t have all damn night!”

you whipped her head around and flipped him off before quickly turning back around and taking ellie's face in your hands and connecting your lips.

the redhead was caught off guard for a split second but then kissed back, melting into it. the kiss was soft, it was just like what ellie had imagined kissing a pretty girl like you. it felt like they were in a trance again, like a veil closing around them giving them all the time in the world to feel each other.

they pulled away as the hoots and hollers of the teens around them grew obnoxiously. ellie’s cheeks grew embarrassingly red at the attention that was put on her.

ellie tuned out the game as it continued on, she was too in her own head thinking about how she just shared a very hot kiss with the girl she’s been crushing on for over two year.

the redhead only perked back up when she heard your name be called out for a turn.

“truth.” you choose. “soooo [y/n]...” dina trails off cheekily.

“yes, dina?” you challenge with a smirk and takes a sip of the terrible beer in your cup. 

“how many girls have you kissed?” the dark haired girl asks.

“one.”

“seriously?!” dina exclaims in disbelief, her eyebrows then furrowed in thought, “does that mean ellie was..?”

“yep, first and only girl i’ve kissed.” you explain, you notice the surprised looks that start to appear on the faces of your peers, “what?” you ask, confused about the change in behavior.

“um, i think we all thought you were gay,” dina says awkwardly.

the dark haired girl then points to your pants, “you wear cargo pants a lot.” she states. you bursts out laughing at the archaic stereotype, “i’m not a lesbian, sorry to disappoint. i just like storage.” 

laughter erupts from the room except from one person, ellie. you notice a frown appear on her face. you made brief eye contact with her in which the ginger gave you a curt smile, of course you could tell it was fake, that there was some pain behind those green eyes. but from what, you weren't sure.

to ellie that kiss felt so real, she thought there was genuine passion behind it. she had thought with that kiss and how flirting you’ve always been with her in the past that you would have reciprocated her feelings. but her heart broke has her reassurance was crumbled by a simple phrase, ‘i’m not a lesbian’

feeling overwhelmed with her emotions and not wanting to bring her bad vibe to the rest of the group, ellie felt it best to leave. she quickly said her goodbyes without sparing a glance at you, using the excuse of having patrol in the morning to leave early.

it immediately dawned on you that maybe ellie had misinterpreted what you had said, maybe the redhead got upset because she thought you didn’t like her back or had a chance with her at all. 

you quickly got up leaving the group without bothering to respond to the people calling out for you, your only priority was to fix this misunderstanding as fast as possible.

“ellie! wait up!” you called out to the redhead a few yards away from you. ellie whipped her head around, a surprised look on her face. 

even with being only slightly illuminated by the moon, you could see the redness and puffiness of ellie’s eyes, the green of them popping out and making it more obvious. your heart immediately sunk at the sight.

“hey are you ok?” you ask softly, your hand reaching up toward her face in concern but ellie moved her head away.

“yeah i’m good. what’s up?” she quickly responded, trying to change the subject. “can i crash at your place tonight? i don’t feel like walking across town this late and this drunk.”

“yeah sure.” ellie says, “how much of that beer did you have anyways?”

“too much, i swear i’m not a lightweight but honest to god i have no idea what seth puts in that beer.” you grin.

a smile cracks on ellie’s face, “no wonder it tasted so awful, it's because seth made it.” she jokes.

“he has his own little asshole recipe.” you joke back, making ellie tilt her head back in laughter. you smile at the fact that you were able to lift the bad spirit from your friend.

you continued to chat and talk shit as you two walked to ellie’s shed. the redhead was glad that even though she’ll never have you as her girlfriend, she could always have you as a best friend.

when you entered the shed you both immediately started getting ready for bed, the long night with your friends had tired you both out immensely. ellie handed you a pair of sweatpants to change into which you did, right in front of her.

ellie remembers the first time you two had a sleepover over two years ago, the redhead got taken by surprise when her crush started stripping in front of her to get in her pajamas with no regard that she was still in the room. she was flustered at seeing the bare skin of the girl she was crushing on.

“what? it's not a big deal, we’re both girls and it's just skin, no need to get weird el.” she remembers you saying to her. eventually ellie just got used to it, taking it as a sign of trust that you would be that vulnerable around her.

ellie changed into her night clothes as well, she watched as you take your bra off without removing your shirt, “you gotta teach me how to do that one day.” the redhead says, it was something you'd always done that had intrigued ellie.

“what, take off my bra?” you tease. ellie’s cheeks blush realizing how her words sounded. “no, i mean like i’ve wanted to know how to do it so i can do it to myself, not you.” she rambles trying to explain herself.

you start to giggle at her response, “what?” ellie says, pouting.

“it's just that you're cute.” ellie feels her heart skip.

you lay down, snuggling into the bed and pat the space next to you, beckoning her over. she lays next to you on her side. neither of you say anything as you stare at each other.

“you want to tell me why you were crying earlier.” you ask, ellie rolls her eyes and shift onto her back, refusing to make eye contact.

“it was nothing.” the redhead mumbles. “ellie i know you, that wasn't nothing, talk to me please.” you plead. ellie chews on her lip nervously, trying to decide whether or not she should confess to you.

“i, uh, shit i don't know how to say this” she starts, turning over to her side to face you, “but i really really like you [y/n], and i have for the past two years and its being eating me up from the inside to see you with other people and not be able to tell you. and i know you just want to be friends because you said that-”

you cut her off by placing your lips on hers. the redhead soon eagerly kissed back, her hands finding their way on your head and your hands to her shoulders. as the kiss progress you both got more desperate to be close, rolling over so that ellie was flat on the bed and you were straddling her waist. ellie’s hands moved to your hips and yours to the sides of her head.

the redhead pulled away from the kiss. “i thought you said you weren’t a lesbian,” she whispers.

“correct.” 

“oh” ellie says as her eyebrows furrowed in annoyance and confusion, “then why’d you kiss me?” she questions, a bit pissed off that her friend was leading her on.

“just because i don’t like girls exclusively doesn’t mean i don’t like them at all.” you grin and lean down, giving ellie a peck on the lips. ellie smiles, realizing that she finally had her chance.

“what does that make us then?” she asks shyly. you smile down at her, “girlfriends, only if you want to.”

“are you kidding? that’s the only thing i’ve wanted for years.” she exclaims and sits up, placing you on her lap and kissing you again.

she pulls away slightly, “i could get used to this.”

“me too.” you whisper and pull her into another kiss.

the scene from the wilds:

#ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams #ellie tlou #the last of us #tlou2 #ellie #soggyjulpod’s fanfic

[bonnymori]

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐤𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

Word count: 1200+

Contents/Warnings: (1) Fushiguro Megumi x gn!Reader (2) Classic training but no fighting scene I apologise (3) A... dirty humor joke? (4) Idiot in love cough cough (5) Laidback romance, this may become a pattern on my fanfiction :3

A/N: Hello, I introduce myself as Hara! This is my very first written piece! I would like to apologise for any typos, english is not my first language; that being said, I hope this works out alright! :)

It's around mid afternoon, the sky painted in a vibrant blue with multiple clouds scattered around, Fushiguro recalls having started training right after lunch; he politely declined Maki's suggestion of training together, it wasn't about strength or fighting hand to hand today, the struggle was his shikigami. Lately, he's been having problems over teamwork - before, he thought such a thing was impossible, since all of the shikigami were under one will alone, being his. Yet the amount of times the divine dogs have bumped into eachothers, sometimes Nue would simply skip past the target, not paying attention to it at all.

Or perhaps, he himself was to blame. Fushiguro likes thinking about you, more than he'd admit, but now it's starting to distract for real. That's what he need, to think of you- I mean, concentration! And maybe, new group attacks, that would do nicely, too.

He's been beating a tedious dummy for a hour and half now, maybe more. After managing to make up a combo or two, he sits down on the grass, just to breathe for a moment. Breathing is nice, he observes as the divine dogs go slack like their owner, now playing around with one another rather than chewing the dummies stuffing. His black and white snake is watching the banter between the canine shikigamis, tongue coming in and out just like a real snake. Nue settles upon the dummies ragged body, eyes closed- peacefully enjoying sunbathing. Fushiguro had no idea they were so lively until now, now he knew why people constantly asked if they could pet his shikigami.

He glances down at the frog supporting his arm, it's like they enjoy just laying on grass, just breathing like him.

"How many buddies out! Are you training today, Fushiguro?"

At the sound of your voice, you bet his lips casually turn upwars in a casual yet small smile. Kugisaki saw it from distance once, says she it's almost a robotic response.

"Yes, I'm training their cooperation." Fushiguro replies, swiftly getting up. He notices the frog from earlier making a beeline to you, as if to say hello.

So you crouch down and pets it briefly, smiling at the small creature.

"That ought to be hard, specially with a innefective dummy." You approach its remains, chuckling at all the stuffing and cloth scattered around. "Make me your target instead!"

Say what?

"I uh, come again?"

"I'll do the running and dodging, it's much practical this way!"

He has trouble accepting that, even if it's true. You mean more than an ally on his heart, and besides, that's some Itadori-level-recklessy. So he groans, slightly irritated and obviously, worried for your safety. "You'll get hurt."

"Don't we get hurt everyday? Even if there is an accident, I know you'll call them out and help me quickly, you notice things fast."

He does, Fushiguro would help you in a heartbeat- probably faster.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, lash out on me!"

Putting 'lash' and 'me' in the same phrase got heat rising on his ears, but he complied nonetheless. "Just letting you know, I'll stand here and the shikigami attacks."

You protest. "Wouldn't it be better if you fought among them?"

"For today, I'd like to focus on their compatibility only."

"Oh, got it! Next time we can work on the latter option then!" Next time. He wants there to be a next time.

Even though you're the one troubling his mind in battles, he's head over heels. He remembers when it all started, your relationship is basically pools worth of quality time. You came along with Itadori, tangled into the mess back in Sendai. Strangely, Fushiguro clicked with you even faster than Itadori- your collected personality was a great factor, even though you are just as cheerful as the cherry boy.

"You're spacing out, what's up?"

Fushiguro's gaze snapped up to meet yours, realizing his mistake. "Ah, nothing, let's start." His hands folded as your guard rose, so it begun. If you noticed his lame excuse, you didn't comment about it.

The ravenette was pleasantly relieved how easily you could deceive and dodge his attacks, his shikigami may leave a tear or two on your clothes, that he didn't have to worry about, because they're easily fixable. Naturally, the toughest for you to dodge was mostly his snake, sometimes Nue would surprise you from above, nothing you couldn't handle. He started intensing up using the combined attacks, and immediately noticed your faltering steps, earning a bruise on your calf. Although neither he or you stopped, adrenaline rushing through veins nonstop.

You somehow finished training with a bite mark over your forehead, not deep enough to be worth worry. The instant your bodies came to slack, his shikigami ran to you like little children lost in a supermarket. At this point, it was pratically multitasking, to pet both demon dogs while trying not to run out of breath having Orochi wrapped around your midsection. Megumi flushed over the affectionate antics, knowing they were a manifestation of feelings within himself.

Now, you and Fushiguro are spawled on the training field, neither showered, coated with sweat sticking to your clothes, but it didn't matter much.

"I never realized, just how many cursed energy do you have? It's surprising how many shikigami you kept our for this long time." Fushiguro heard you shifting to sit up, and followed you up.

"A bunch." It was not a creative nor informative answer, but you took it in with a smile on your face anyway.

He watched you get up to fetch a drink, careful to not trip over the shikigami also scattered around -- Fushiguro always 'forgot' to put them away next to you.

You handed him a strawberry yogurt box, the same drink also sat in your hands. "Well then, why are you spacing out so much these days? You can be honest with me."

'She's oblivious enough, I'm in need of advice, it's convenient.' So he thought, figuring if he disguised it enough, you wouldn't be able to tell. It's not a big deal if you did, though, saves time actually.

"Something's on my mind, and it troubles me during fights."

"Simple, you can just come in terms with it."

He glanced down, "Why?"

"The sooner the better, when you accept something, it comes at ease on your mind. I'm a hundred percent sure it works!" You gave him a thumbsup, slurping on the pink drink.

"Such faithful source."

"I'm sure it does! The thought keeps coming back because you're denying it, am I wrong?"

Not really, no. Fushiguro wants to keep it as friendship for the sake of your both careers within the jujutsu world; he knows it's dangerous, yet a part of him just wants to say 'fuck it', like if he had the guts to. The ravenette thinks it's a way too much generic way to describe what he feels, but it's the easiest, so he goes with it anyway. The back of his brain fears rejection, part of the reason why he hasn't made a move yet.

"I'll try it out."

"Good!" And you're always supportive no matter what, to the point it charms him more and more everyday.

For now, he's okay keeping it platonic. But, when the day after tomorrow comes, he just might confess.

#fushiguro megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #megumi+fluff #megumi x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu megumi #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x you