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#tw: mention of swearing
giggly-squiggily · 1 year
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Hiyaaaa! How are you? I hope this finds you in good health. My I please request some Lee! Douma, Lee! Enmu, Lee! Akaza and Lee! Koku headcanons (remove some if it's too much :)) with a reader who isn't ticklish but loves to (be a sneaky bish-) tickle them?
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You don’t even know anon- Akaza’s been on the brain lately. I forgot how much I like him klarjejkakjrajek I’ve gotcha covered! :D I’m gonna do all four because I can :D
Under the cut for length!
CW: Violence and Mentions of Swearing (It’s Akaza); Demon Slayer Manga Spoilers, Upper Moon Spoilers
Lower Rank 1: Enmu
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- I’ve headcanoned before that Enmu doesn’t always recieve tickles. They’re pretty crafty in avoiding them when undesired. That said, when it IS desired, they’re the easiest target to grab.
- Ticklish hand vibes! Palms, wrists, even the inside of their elbows is pretty ticklish. They find them really soothing, even if they make them giggle like crazy. Besides that, they’re fairly ticklish in the legs, hips and armpits!
- Has a sleepy laugh, deep and husky- as if they’re being awoken by said tickling. That’s the beginning of it- the longer it goes on the more bell like and high pitched it becomes. If you squeeze their hips in such a way, they’ll squeal.
- When Enmu fights, it’s with dreams- putting his Ler to sleep with dreams of them getting tickled as they flee. However, if they can get past their defenses, Enmu’s a goner. They just curl up and wail dramatically about how their going to die (but not really- they secretly really love it.)
- Not much fighting back in the moment- as I’ve said they prefer to make their lers dream while they run, but they’ll remember you. And they will get their own revenge in time. Best keep your eyes peeled if you’re the ler who got them good (Unless your Douma; can’t really do much against him).
Upper Rank 3: Akaza
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- Oops I’ve fallen for him. It’s that voice of his *grumbles in Felix simp* But anyway! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- he’s the most ticklish demon of the 12 Kizuki. This means he’s one of the most targeted of the group and he “hates” it.
- Ticklish stripes! Especially on his torso and limbs- just gently tracing them will make him scream. Besides them, he’s generally ticklish all over his torso and arms. One squeeze to the biceps and he’s done for (shout out to @/helloitsghost for this headcanon!)
- Is known as a “breakdance squirmer”- if tickled he’ll bust out every martial art move and stunt to attack his ler while screaming profanities at them (unless it’s Rui. He’ll let the spider have his fun before getting him back #SoftSpotForRui). Douma coined the term after he watched Daki and Gyutaro tickle him relentlessly- “It’s like your dancing!” He got his head punched off for it. Worth it.
 - Howls in laughter- borderline shrieky with how loud he can get. Lots of swearing and death threats mixed in- also has what I call a “keyboard smash” laugh- it’s a string of gibbery noises mixing with his swears and death threats that sounds like he’s scat singing. It’s hilariously cute and really adds to his dance like squirms- Akaza’s just one whole performance when you tickle him.
- If you're Douma, prepare to “die”. Akaza has and will punch a whole through his ler’s chest (if they’re a demon) out of spite for being tickled. If you catch him in a good mood or your one of his “allowed” lers, he’ll grumble and pout- turning his back to you and crossing his arms like a grumpy child. This is a trap though- the moment you lean in to look at his face he’s grabbing you and tickling you right back.
Upper Rank 2: Douma
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- The residential tickle demon; Douma rarely finds himself in the position of lee. If he does, it’s by his own design; he loves being tickled and will provoke anyone and everyone to do so.
- The definition of “Can’t take what you dish out.”- he’s incredible at teases but the minute you baby talk him he’s gone. Instant defeat, Douma’s puddy in your hands the minute you start teasing him. Call him cute, coo at him, point out the blush on his face or how his smile is pretty and he’s done for.
- Really ticklish lower back (shoutout to @/helloitsghost for the headcanon) and waist. Even with the numbing defense of Ice powers, just brushing these spots makes him giggle like a child. His neck and under the chin are also good spots to make this demon a mess. While more sensitive to harder tickles, you’ll find that lighter tickles are quite effective if the room is warm enough.
- Has two laughs- a fake one and a real one. The fake one is what he used to humor the the demon kids tickling him (They weren’t bad at it- they just didn’t know where to go on him.) His fake laugh is light and airy- lots of “Hohohoo!”s and “Hehe”s mixed in. His real laugh on the other hand? A hot mess. I’m talking snorts, wheezes, loud cackly laughter that rivals Akaza’s in terms of downright hilarity.
- He’s not one to fight back when tickled; he’ll accept his fate and quietly plan his next attack on his ler. He loves to watch them squirm with anticipation- never quite going for it until they think they’re safe. Post tickles are the same; he just lets them think they’ve got him good until they haven’t.
Upper Moon 1: Kokushibou
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- The one most are too scared to try tickling. It was Douma who gave it a shot and realized how effective light ones can be on the swordsman. Koku’s not often a lee for the reason above, but when he is it’s a rather sweet sight.
- I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: ticklish palms. Gentle traces and scratches make him squirm and huff with laughter- never quite reaching a full laugh but it’s enough of a sight to warm the soul. Also fairly ticklish on his shoulders (shoutout to @/firepolemos05- I believe you were the one who came up with this headcanon?). Tracing them makes him shiver and laugh.
- When he was human, his laugh was low and deep- shaking his ribs with each chortle. Now as a demon- that hasn’t changed; though it feels...foreign; like a sound he forgot he could make that surprises him every time he does laugh. He can’t really tell if he likes it or not- though a part of him leans towards liking it.
- He’s not really a squirmer- he’ll freeze up when tickled and just kinda- shake. Fighting down a smile in vain, all six eyes squeezed shut with laughter. It makes him an even grander target as he’ll never fight back; accepting his fate until his ler is satisfied. He might go for revenge tickles but only if his ler is trying to provoke him into a tickle fight.
- Overall he likes tickles for the most part. They’re bittersweet; bringing up a feeling of nostalgia he can never quite get rid of; but also making his demonic heart feel strangely whole once more.
I hope these were good!
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incorrectbatfam · 5 months
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16-year-old Dick: You know what, I think it's time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first and then you.
12-year-old Jason: Okay.
[downstairs]
Bruce: What do you want for breakfast?
Dick: I'll have Cocoa Puffs, bitch.
Bruce: Go to your room.
Bruce, to Jason: And what do you want?
Jason: Dunno but it won't be fucking Cocoa Puffs.
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monn-i · 4 months
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250 notes by january 14th i will throw out my blade. and also finish my wips :333
EDIT: 1k NOTES FUCKASSES I FORGOT U COULD SPAM REBLOG
lord help me… i forgot how many chronically online ppl followed me….. 2.5k…. i wont chnage it morw afterwards bc that would feel dishonest to myself but dear lord u guys are awful its been like half a day /affectionate <3
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twinktor-frankenstein · 6 months
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I don't know why I did this but I had a vision okay wjhdhd
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tiktoksthataregood-ish · 10 months
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akystaracer22 · 3 months
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Maybe in Another Life We Would Hate Each Other a Little Less
A chance encounter sheds a little light on Adam that Lucifer couldn't have predicted, leading to a moment he thought he'd never have with the man.
Notes (Aka my thoughts while writing):
God is a dick and I wanna kill xem
Adam folds his wings like a bird because monkey see monkey do
Both these guys were traumatised by the same person and we don’t talk about it enough
Probably Guitarduck/Adamsapple but in a fledgeling platonic kinda way
Refer to my ref for what Adam looks like!
I listened to Rät while writing this and- it kind of fits Adam???
Jesus is God’s favourite child and it fucking shows
How tf did this become a sickfic????
Lucifer gets the experience of being me whenever I make the impulsive move to boot up Char.ai and talk to literally any of the AI’s, get aunt agonied bitch.
Oh my god Adam has middle child syndrome.
Can you tell I attended a Christian school when I was younger???
Adam was hiding just how fucked over he was from the wing rot but he’s not having a good time in this. Most of the latter half of the oneshot is him dazed from both the one set of wing rot and the feeling of someone touching his wing.
Shit emergency wing HC for Adam ig: His wings grow warmer corresponding to his mood, as in when he is in general happier his wings radiate warmth and when he’s in a foul mood they’re just normal or even a little cooler.
In saying that yes Lucifer’s wings glow when he’s happy
Word Count: 1902
Fic under cut!
“Fucking- Shit!”
Lucifer paused, looking behind him and backing up to peek through the crack in the door. This ought to be good.
Sure enough, he was right, this was entertaining.
Adam was ranting again.
Honestly it was a nearly daily thing by this point, probably the only good thing about his daughters decision to let Adam stay at the hotel. He loved his daughter, he really did, by Adam was… Adam.
Lucifer knew he was a lost cause.
But still, didn’t mean Lucifer couldn’t tease the hell out of the man since he was stuck down here with the rest of them.
Lucifer’s smirk at watching the first man rant quickly died as he took in the guys appearance, he looked…
“What is wrong with your wings.”
Adam jerked and twisted around, scowling at him and oops he said that out loud didn’t he.
“Piss off!”
Lucifer, in his typical fashion, did not piss off and instead entered the room, “No seriously what is wrong with your wings.”
Now that he was closer, the king was certain they didn’t look like that a week ago. The feathers, while already having looked like a wreck were duller and the colours seemed almost… muted. Ignoring the already horrific state Adam’s wing were in, they shouldn’t look THAT bad so why…
“Wait-”
“I said-!”
“Have you not been preening you wings?”
Adam went silent, staring wide eyed at Lucifer much to the kings confusion. A beat passed, then two.
“What the fuck is preening?”
Lucifer blinked, he wasn’t serious, was he?
Surely not.
.
.
.
“By the heavens you’re dead serious.”
“What the fuck are you talking about.”
Lucifer debated whether he should explain it or not. On one hand, it’s Adam. On the other, Wings were a serious thing. He’d even seen Husker cleaning his wings from time to time, for Adam to just not know…
“You know what? For once my hatred of you is outweighed by my need to show you what’s what,” The fallen seraphim huffed, closing the door behind him and summoning a chair to block it from the outside so Adam couldn’t escape. “Come on we’re fixing this travesty.”
“What part of fuck off you do you not understand?!” The first man snapped, his wings mantling as Lucifer rifled through the closet, dragging out one of the many jars of oil he’d had the foresight to put in most of the rooms, perks of being a guy with basic common sense.
“The part where you’re being stupid and my daughter started rubbing off on me,” Lucifer shot back, his own wings serving well to corral Adam towards the bed, “How you don’t know how to preen your wings is beyond me but that’s ending today.”
“Again- what are you blabbering about.”
Lucifer paused, hand hovering just over Adams feathers. Preening someone elses wings was… intimate. It was something reserved for friends, family, lovers, and stuff… not enemies. Was he really going to just go ahead and clean Adams wings for him?
The seraphim’s eyes flicked over to where the ruined wing was draped over the bed. The wing was already in bad enough shape as it was, if he didn’t do this then wing rot was bound to hit it at some point and-
He didn’t really have a choice, not if he didn’t want to watch someone die of wing rot again.
Adam went stiff under Lucifers touch as he started work on the mans functioning wing, it was the easiest to work with, not the mention the safest to start with. The injured wing would no doubt be sensitive to any interaction, so better to start small.
Ish.
Adam shuddered as Lucifer moved between feather’s, periodically reapplying preening oil as he went. He was right as usual, looking closer most of the barbules had been separated and needed to be locked together again. Grimacing, the seraphim gently scratched out what looked like dried blood from where it was hidden in the base of Adam’s Secondary coverts.
“What are you doing?” Adam whispered, his voice for once lacking it’s usual bite. Lucifer paused for a second in confusion before Adam’s wing flexed back into Lucifer’s hand, “Don’t stop!”
“Okay okay!” The king huffed, working on his primaries, “What I’m doing is called preening. It’s something beings with feathers do to clean them.”
“Like birds?”
“Yeah, like birds,” Lucifer agreed, “The oil helps take care of bacteria, but you got to realign the feathers, get rid of the ones ready to moult, and fix the feathers that are out of sorts, though you can just shake the feathers to do that part quicker.”
“Mhm”
Lucifer shifted over to finally tackle the ruined wing and froze, a chill slinking down his spine. As he took in the state of the tattered appendage.
“Shit.”
This close the seraphim could see the red pimples under the thinning layer of feathers surrounding the injury, it was wing rot in its early stages.
“What?”
“Nothing!” Lucifer dove his fingers into the scapulars to shut Adam up while he discreetly conjured up some disinfectant for the rot, if he’s lucky he can treat it now and just get Charlie or Vaggie to deal with it now, knock it over the head before it becomes so visible the others can notice. He ignored Adam’s breath hitching as the seraphim started, just as predicted, the wing was sensitive from the damage done to it.
“But seriously you need to do this more, this is just horrific,” Lucifer grumbled to himself, not really caring if Adam listened, “Honestly I’m surprised this hasn’t happened to you before!”
“Mmmm tried once… I think?”
Lucifer, glanced at Adam’s face, it was pointed away from him, but he could still sense Adam’s attention was on him, “Yeah?”
“Saw the birds doin’ it and tried to copy ‘em,” Adam continued at the prompt, spreading his other wing, “It hurt so I stopped, didn’ know there was a method to this shit or someth’n.”
“You… nobody even tried to teach you?”
“I think they thought I knew,” Adam chuckled sourly, “I think they thought I fu’kin knew how to just- do this. ‘Cause I was meant to right?!” Another laugh, “I bit the fu’kin apple so I shou’da known this kinda shit! Apple of knowl’dge or what’ver.”
Lucifer, wisely, didn’t say anything, he just kept working on Adam’s ruined wing, applying the disinfectant, and fixing what few feathers were still healthy and removing the rest. If it was anyone else in this situation he’s wrap the wing and tell them to rest but… it was still Adam that was in this mess.
“I- why didn’t they teach me? Luci why didn’t they teach me this shit?”
“I… don’t know,” Lucifer replied carefully, deliberately skipping over the butchering of his name that sounded way to close to a nickname for comfort, “Come on, up you get he still got the underside to finish then I’ll be out.”
Adam grumbled but complied, sitting up a little to turn around as Lucifer summoned a pillow for Adam to lean back on. Rolling his neck Lucifer got to work on the auxiliary feathers, the lighter feathers were definitely in better shape, but then again that wasn’t exactly a high bar, and they still were looking rough.
“Jesus was prob’bly taught how to preen himself.”
Lucifer’s shoulders hitched as his wings tucked in against his back abruptly. Jesus… was a rough topic. For all sinners talked about him, Lucifer never met him but from the sinners around that time… it was never a fun conversation. Pretentious once kings cursing his name while hopeless commoners lined up for the exorcists blade, faithful until the end that Jesus would let them into heaven if they just believed in him.
… there was a pattern in there, wasn’t there. Like father like son, he supposed.
“Jesus was made from me and yet he’s God’s favourite fukin kid, course he’d fucking know how to preen,” Adam continued unimpeded, “Doesn’t matter if I was Gods first- Jesus was always fucking better than me.”
Okay! Lucifer was in no way prepared for this conversation, but he highly doubted Adam was even going to remember this conversation, so he just focused on the wings.
“…Luci, do they all hate me?”
Lucifer sincerely wished Anthony, or just anyone really would bust down the door at this moment, at least then he could get himself out of this conversation.
“Why do you think that?” the seraphim deflected, moving onto Adam’s good wing and going through his coverts.
“Because none of them ever fucking did this,” Adam waved his hand haphazardly before letting it rest on his chest, “You’re my enemy but you’re fixin’ my fu’kin wings because I’m too stupid and useless to just figure it out myself.”
“Not useless,” The words left Lucifer’s lips without his input, damn himself to double hell, but it managed to shut up Adam, so he kept on the thought train, “You’re not useless you were just never taught, it’s not your fault heaven doesn’t think.”
“Jesus-”
“Is God’s prodigal son and shouldn’t be counted.”
Adam huffed and leaned back on the pillow, “Why’re you good at this?”
“I’ve had aeon’s to learn, and over a decade of putting it in practice,” Lucifer thought about his daughter, a small smile making it’s way into his expression, she really was the best thing to happen to him.
He finished up with Adams good wing and moved onto finishing off the wrecked one. Applying the disinfectant to the infected spots on the underside before reaching for the preening oil again.
“Y’know, maybe in another life we would’ve hated each other less.”
Lucifer just laughed and started preening the wing, yeah right, maybe in a reality where the apple incident never happened, “You’re sick Adam, feverish even.”
“And you’re a wife-stealer.”
“Should have been better in bed.”
“Fuck you,”
Lucifer stuck his tongue out at the first man, earning a tired chuckle. Then the seraphim blinked at the sudden warmth radiating out from the feathers. What in the-?
“Oh… they haven’t done that in a while.”
Lucifer blinked up at Adam who was staring at his feathers in amazement, “Ackde-whuh?”
Adam leaned back and closed his eyes, “Yeah… sometimes they just get warm all of a sudden it’s weird. Hasn’t happened in a while though. Apparently it sometimes happened when Lute was around? I dunno why.”
Lucifer blinked a couple of times before letting out a small “huh” and running a hand through the ruined wing, it was definitely warmer.
Sighing, Lucifer let his hand fall away despite the wing chasing it, “Alright well your wings are definitely cleaner now, so I’ll be out of your hair now.”
The seraphim stood up to leave through the balcony, opening the window and almost stepping out when Adam called after him, still sounding exhausted.
“I can see why they left me for you.”
Lucifer paused, before smiling sardonically and looking back at Adam, who looked like he might have just passed out.
“Tell me that when you’re not delusional from illness and I might believe you.”
With that, Lucifer stepped out and left for his own room… though, if Adam woke up to a small plush duck on his nightstand, that was between Lucifer and the god that cast him down.
But there is one thing Lucifer will admit.
Maybe Charlie wasn't wrong about thinking Adam could be redeemed.
Pings:
@sleepy-hijinx @whatataha @cyborg0109 @birbisanon @legogator @overlord-rey @luckyburgerz @spiny-dogfishes @justakidicarus
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moistrodent · 2 months
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I love how Hazbin Hotel brushed over Angel Dust’s drug use, because in the eyes of the show drug use isn’t something very traumatic, leads to much more vulnerable to human and sex trafficking, SA, and abusive relationships. Drug use is very complicated but in Hazbin Hotel Angel Dust’s drug problem is mentioned like…four times and one of those three times was a fucking joke. Drug use is often very misrepresented in media, also being an addict doesn’t make you a bad person, drug use shouldn't be criminalised (it makes it much harder to seek help), and rehab shouldn’t expensive as fuck. And also Angel Dust’s name? Weird as shit. That’s like naming your OC crack. It’s treating Angel Dust like he’s only his addiction wich is really horrible representation for obvious reasons. Vivziepop does not know how to represent serious topics, she either uses it for fetish bait or an actual literal joke. Also his name? Doesn’t make any sense. The effects of PCP were discovered over ten years after Angel Dust canonically died. It’s so clear Vivzepop didn’t do any research on the topic she’s trying to represent, it takes five seconds to google this shit.
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daisy-mooon · 1 year
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Divorce quartets dynamic is fucking funny this season. Scott and Martyn decided to move in with each other and steal Cleo's brand of being Mean Girls. Pearl passive aggressively asking Martyn if he has Tilly and Martyn going "oh yeah I cremated her :)" and throwing gunpowder on the floor. Martyn telling BigB not to trust Pearl because if "the moon is high, you might die". Cleo gaslighting Pearl into being her ally and then when Cleo asks for books Pearl straight up lies and starts punching BigB so he won't tell her. Cleo and Martyn having the world's most awkward conversation and Cleo going "you and Scott are... sort of survivery". Pearl standing on a tree and staring at Scott instead of walking up to him like a normal person. Scott spending an entire episode making his and Martyn's house look cute and designing their shared storage system to only suit him and leaving Martyn to cope. Cleo doing their very best to ignore them all and juggling Scar and Bdubs forcing her to adopt them, allying with the entire server and the Bad Boys turning their base into bread and killing them whilst Pearl is like thirty blocks away and blatantly not helping. Most divorced polycule EVER. I am studying their relationship under a microscope.
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p1nkshield · 9 months
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Hi 👋 This is chapter four of the Estranged Uncle Au!
Just a warning there is mentions of cults and a scene that has Damian being Damian (AKA knife child) Please take care of yourselves! I hope you enjoy!
Clark was sweating buckets.
“I promise you I’m not in danger! This is all a big misunderstanding! Bruce isn’t even that creepy!”
Jazz rattled off several reasons.
“He has a cloyingly sweet public persona, his personal computer has extensive information on all of the local rogues in the area and all the adopted sons we’ve met look practically identical to both each other and you and Danny! Not to mention they all seem trained for combat! How is that not creepy?”
Okay from an impartial standpoint Clark could see how it looked like he was tied up in a cult.
“I swear if another fruitloop billionaire obsessed with one of my family members tries to adopt me I’m gonna wail!”
How specific!
“Wail?” Clark began to ask but was cut off.
“Are you tied up in a cult Clark? Because we can get you out if you are! I … uh know a guy who specializes in taking down cults.”
What?
“I promise you I’m not in a cult! The blue eyes and black hair is a coincidence and I am not in danger! Also what do you mean you know a guy who specializes in taking down cults!?!”
Danny squinted.
“Hold that thought. Everyone stop talking!”
Danny reached towards Clark’s shoulder and picked out a small device, no bigger than a grain of rice out of his cable knit sweater.
“No one who plants listening devices into sweaters isn’t creepy.”
He then promptly threw it to the ground and crushed it with his heel.
“That’s the end of the recording.” Tim said while cringing.
“Sleazy?!? Me? Sleazy? I did a back handspring on hardwood floors for them and they call me sleazy?!”
Dick thought that he could win them over. Was he too heavy handed?
“It’s probably because you fell asleep in the pico de gallo timber.” Jason joked as he inspected the weapons vault.
“What? Me?!? I was the only one who made any headway! I was just up late trying to track whoever was hacking us!” Tim defended.
“Well good news! You found ‘em! Let me know when they hack my library account seeing as the Big bad bat computer is being hacked by a couple teens.” Jason said dismissively as he took a flamethrower fuel canister.
Bruce was experiencing a new amalgamation of emotions. He was both incredibly embarrassed, incredibly amused and incredibly impressed.
How embarrassing that the bat computer was hacked! He put so much effort into the protection of his data!
But then again Clark must be beside himself trying to convince them he wasn’t in a cult and that was incredibly amusing. He even said all the things that people said when they were in denial about being in a cult!
This was absurd! The only way to describe this was absurd!
“Fools! All of you do not truly understand the gravitas of the situation! If they believe that we are indeed weapons dealers they may snoop further and compromise all of our secret identities!” Damian huffed his way into the view of his family.
“We’ll be alright Dami, Tim is reinforcing our defenses for the computer and we’re going to try and disengage for a while. If we keep on trying we might make it worse.” Dick ruffled through Damian’s hair despite many protests.
Damian tutted at this suggestion. They needed to approach the problem head on and quickly rectify the situation lest it spiral into a larger one. Perhaps if they suffered an accident.
“Damian! I know that face! That’s the face you make when you go off and try to rectify the situation by yourself!”
“That is not true Grayson! I was simply thinking about confiding in my companion about how tedious my science project is.”
“You promise you’re only going to engage in age appropriate activities like science homework and book reports?”
“I promise.”
"I'm choosing to believe you" Dick began to walk away before pulling another sour face. "...Sleazy?"
Damian checked his hidden blades one final time before encroaching upon this Daniel Fenton who had foolishly entered an alleyway. He deftly held a knife to the throat of his target.
"If you continue to snoop into my father's business I will not hesitate to cut you down!"
Damian was expecting to me met with fear and copious apologies. He was a fearsome and terrifying warrior after all.
"Are you trying to hold me at knifepoint on your tippy-toes?" The target said in the same tone that one would use with a kitten trying to jump a bit too high. They should be focused on the clear danger Damian was posing. Or at least the danger he was posing. Between the moment Damian looked at his feet and the moment he looked back up to find a very unperturbed Danny.
"Did your father put you up to this?" He asked.
"No! I acted of my own accord!"
"Well are there anymore ineffective threats you want to say?"
Damian was about to say something when his stomach audibly growled. Curses! He could not bring a meal in order to maintain secrecy from Alfred! Damian slowly looked up towards Danny's face. He has that look that Grayson gets before he does something annoying like ruffle his hair.
"Are you hungry?"
Damian did not dignify this question with an answer and began to storm off.
"I'm having some friends over, we can spare you a plate! My friend Sam chose the menu though so its vegan."
Damian stopped in his tracks.
"What is it that you are making?"
"Cauliflower gnocchi with cashew cream pesto."
"And this is taking place in Clark's home?"
"yep."
"Fine. But I will not be lenient with you because you've offered me a meal!"
Danny laughed and texted Sam
"Hey get another bundle of basil Im bringing a guest"
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jazeswhbhaven · 3 months
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They Do What in Where?: Attack of Kings Beelzebub Prologue *Spoilers*
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TW://kink involving Autassassinophilia is mentioned
Guys. Lovelies. Girlies. Peeps. Everyone. This is only the fucking prologue and I have so many emotions but only one thing on mind.
Fucking the ever-living s h i t out of Beel.
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Welcome back to Avisos, everyone. We got a good dose of it during the Beel event, but yeah yeah
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Beel sniffing MC will never surprise me nor will bother me because yeah sniff away.
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Horny from smelling hair? I love him. He could literally smell anything on you and would get hard this is amazing to me
So what's going on rn is that MC and Beel are on some kind of date and he's showing them around Avisos and the little stores and such. He's like having so much fun and being very clingy. May I add.
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MC keeps talking about him like this and I'm like Oh...yeah same brain cell because everything about him is u g h h h hgh hsoidnk
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So let me get this straight. "Everything" is legal. Like think of the worst thing you can think of and that shit is legal here. BUT being a homewrecker is where they draw the line 💀 I'm just throwing this out here, TW btw, but imagine getting thrown in jail for seducing someone else's partner to be with you but the guy across the street that literally raped and murdered someone is walking around free.
I guess that's just Avisos??? Lol
Moving on though, MC and Beel are walking up to the first store and the sign says
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NGL I thought this meant something else because it's BHM in the US (hey hey all of my blk peeps out there that follow!) and I had my own joke in my head about it...BUT it's its about fucking eating demon cum as a sauce.
That's a lot of fucking sauce.
Next we have
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They don't even explain what the forest of mushrooms is about. MC just says "that's all about men..." (i can imagine it's literally a fucking store full of dick) and Beel goes to explain the shop that's next to it where you can drink demon spit that's been distilled.
He's even tried it a few times and there's not much to go around.
i can imagine why...
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MC is pretty much worried about other shit though and wondering what was their end destination. And well-
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Hello my angry bby, yes he would be mad.
Because apparently MC was having tea with Sitri and Ppyong and the tea was too strong so Ppyong was flipping out and that's when Beel made his entrance..
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Just "HEY WHATS UP?" and took them away.
With his random ass, I love him.
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When Beel gets this way I always wanna cuddle his face and give him praises and kisses and words of affirmation because I feel he needs to hear that he's loved and needed along with physical touch.
But MC also wonders why everyone else seems so chill that he's just walking around when they're normally flipping out that Beel is in town. Turns out he may (or may not) have put a spell on himself so no one notices him.
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So my theory is, he's simply just diguised as a common looking devil of Avisos and not himself so that's why everyone is still running into him, bumping shoulders and not paying him any mind and MC is just MC.
Or...they both could be cloaked at the moment because I'm sure they'd recognize MC maybe...but I'm only going off how they interacted with MC during his Bloodshed card at the carnival. Also he starts sniffing up on MC again and it's getting him worked up so much...
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Time after time, MC is always goddamn wet around him. Idk how he fucking does this or how he manages this, but it only happens with him and I love that quirk about their dynamic.
But honestly...the fact those are his three favorite places to smell has me wondering though if he likes unwashed parts (armpits/genitals) because there's a stronger smell, and during times when someone ovulates...if he likes that scent too.
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UBIASJBFKJSABFKJSDNAKZJNFKAJSNFK JS HELP??????
I'm crying he's so fucking cute. He misses MC and that's why he's being so clingy and sniffing and being close and went to find them c h ok in fg
And MC starts going through the motions, even thinking about Minhyeok (HELLO WE ARE WITH BEEL RN FOCUS) and then finally tells him that they miss him too, and Beel is just all casual like "Yeah that's why I came to get you :D" c u t i e.
So they approach a store next where there's a knife, possibly surgical because Beel explains this
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Ah, so this kinda debunks my theory that the demons here can just change their gender without any kind of surgery (you know just magically change or shapeshift that sort of thing) But it seems that the Avisos' devil's reason for swapping is for spicing up their relationships. Though, I'd like to think it's there for reasons of just devil's wanting to change their gender regardless.
Which Beel brings up "it doesn't matter if you're a man or woman, the devils of Avisos will love you either way" and it's like breaking the fourth wall for us players ^^ because they wouldn't care.
So now we're coming up on another store, and a picture of a noose shows up. Now, I made a joke to myself saying this is a fashion store for the devils of Hades...but uh seems this store is-
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So I paused and was like...oh like those suicide assistance capsules we have IRL...?
And well...I didn't take all the screenshots but in short, it's a cafe that panders to those who get off on the act of dying/Asphyxiation/ being killed etc. I found the closest kink name for it: Autassassinophilia. (btw if someone else knows the closer exact name feel free to educate on this!) But yeah I was like huh, that's really not surprising that they have that there. It is Avisos. It is Hell.
Here's where it gets interesting tho-
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OHHH the owner is one of Luci's bois? (probably not a noble from what it sounds like...but what if...)
And MC asks if that's okay for a devil that's not from Avisos to be having a store like that here and Beel is just like
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LMAO POOR BAEL. Beel literally just lets him do everything and he can't be bothered to even know or care about the rules of his own country („ಡωಡ„)
So the date seems to come to a stopping point, and Beel calls it a "shelter". Well..
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First I turned the sound on (I keep it off if there's no voice acting involved) and well the sounds from chapter one's porno thing MC was watching was used for the devil guy and chick that are randomly fucking in the "shelter" when MC and Beel first enter.
MC is literally me because they're like "Oh uh I think we're in the wrong place." And Beel's like :D NOPE!
And then there's also me, noticing that the couch is covered in fucking whatever and I'm like
im sorry that's fucking nasty please clean the damn couch 💀💀💀💀
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So the reason he tells MC to say this...is because he slips their shirt off just all casual like and is teasing "Oh were you trying to help me???" YOU LITTLE SHIT YOU AIN'T SLICK. (lovingly)
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This is the last screenshot I took because anything else was mostly just MC being like "wow so uh this is about to happen isn't it..." and then it cuts out as the end of the prologue.
BTW what I learned by getting the Bloodshed cards and having read the prologues to them beforehand, they literally give us the first story node in the unholy board to read so one could pretty much skip reading it when they unlock it (unless they didn't take a peek at the prologue but that's just my observation)
I'm personally gonna wait until they make it in the regular gacha pool, but I did peep that the first 10 pull is half the amount of seals...which is a good tactic to getting folks to pull with the seals. I'm saving them up though for something I reallllyyyyy want possibly a Lucifer card or something in the future. But already....Beel's is making me feel some things and seeing his sprite with that tank top is having me act the fuck up.
ANYWAYS happy pulling everyone ^^ see you when I do Levi's prologue next~
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triple-pupil · 4 months
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Fuck You, have WIPs I'll never finish. Part 1.
It's dick, he's talking about his boss's dick.
The second one.
The third one.
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incorrectbatfam · 23 days
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this city fucking sucks
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star-trek-shallot · 5 months
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Kirk: Wait, what? Vodka is made from fucking potatoes?
Chekov: ...You don't have to fuck the potatoes, no.
source: @hassankhadair on insta
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lookingformoondrop · 6 months
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NAJDNWKKRKW U WRITE FOR THE COFFIN OF ANDY AND LEYLEY?
You're the first person I see writing to themmm I'm so happy. Can I ask Something with leyley ? If not, No problem, I accept anything
Ashley Graves (Leyley) x Reader
TW: Everyone has a foul mouth and Ashley is a little shit (oh, really?), mentions of the devil's tango (sex, gasp!), Ashley is manipulative (remember kids, never stay with someone if they act like this during arguments, even if they're goth mommies).
♥︎ I'm not sure if the people crave X Reader or just headcannons with the Graves siblings, so if this isn't what you had in mind, you're always welcome to shoot me another ask. I'm so sorry this took so long to write ;-; Thank you for your patience!<3 ♥︎
♡1,287 WORDS♡
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If you ever asked about 15-year-old Ashley Graves, you'd be told one of these three things;
"She's a little psycho. I'm pretty sure she'd choke out a teacher if they looked at her brother wrong."
"She's always the odd one out. If only she was nice like her brother, she wouldn't be such a lonely freak."
"Pretty like the devil is sly."
These comments always alluded you. Ashley was by far the prettiest girl in class, and even if she was a bit curt to the teachers, she had these blossoming eyes and rich smile whenever she walked by.
One day, after watching the girls mock Ashley for the second time that day, you decided to walk up to Ashley.
Ashley's gaze out of the window quickly turned towards you as you sat down on the other side of her desk. She slowly eyed you up and down.
"Uh, I'm Y/N," you offered weakly.
"Is this about my brother?" Ashely held her face in her hand with a bored stare. "Because if this is about my brother, know that he's already called for..."
You quickly shook your head, "Don't take any offense, but I don't really care about who your brother is...I'm more interested in you."
Ashely looked startled by this statement. A small blush dusting her cheeks. She had spent a lot of time making quitters and hussies run from her marshmallow-spine brother who didn't know any better, and if she learned anything it was that they would say and do whatever it took to get closer to him.
Ashley scoffed and looked out the window again, "Yeah, right, you're probably just saying that so that I'll let you meet him."
You sighed and laid your head in your arms,
"I want to play with you... not your dumb brother."
Ashley gave you a quick glance. She chewed her bottom lip as she thought about it.
"Fine. But if I catch you trying to hang out with my brother, I'm going to punish you!"
You shrugged off that last part and nodded passionately.
Ashley didn't know what it was about you that made her laugh easily, and force the malice out of her body, but it pissed her off.
Day after day, you'd run after her with some sort of treat, present, or a friendly smile that made her day.
One day, you had come to school with a surprise;
"Jesus christ Ashley, did you fish that out of the dumpster?" Andrew walked into the laundry room and saw Ashley standing in front of the washing machine with a very deformed and crusted teddy bear in her hands.
"Y/N gave em' to me," Ashley pulled her hand away, a sticky substance connecting her hand to the deformed bears head.
Andrew was taken aback and quickly snatched the bear from Ashley's hands with a simple (grossed out) finger.
"Fucking gross Ashely! Why the fuck would she give that to you?!" He made a move towards the trash bags in the shelve, but Ashley took back the teddy bear before he could do anything.
"Don't snatch things from other people's hands, you jackass!" She held the bear close to her chest despite shivering from the unknown wetness the bear had.
Andrew visibly cringed and searched Ashley's face for some sort of explanation.
"Y/N had won this at a carnival she went to over the weekend and thought I'd like it," Ashley dangled the bear from paw to paw.
"Well if it came from a carnival then why does it look like it was gangbanged-"
"I'm getting to it!" She sighed with annoyance.
"I had thought it was some stupid ploy to get to you, so I might have...thrown it down a sewer." She shrugged that last part like it was naturally the most obvious reaction to a gift.
"While it was down there, I think the rats decided to have a piece of Teddy's face and stuffing and well... the sewer, too." At the word 'sewer', both of them looked at the drenched teddy bear that dripped ominously with disease.
Andrew put his head in his hands and sighed into them, "Why are you like this? Y/N tried doing something nice, and you...let it be beaten to death by rats."
Ashley shrugged and observed the gross teddy bear in her hands, despite it being jizzed up it was cute with its (seemingly darker...) brown fur and button nose. On its chest was a pink stitched heart that read, "I told the stars about you ☆."
Maybe it was a little dramatic to throw it in the sewer, but she wasn't about to admit that. After all, she had to get this damn teddy bear back somehow, and that was enough to convince the next guy over she regretted it.
"Do you want me to clean it?" Andrew mumbled from his hands.
"What?" Ashley hadn't realized she was zoning out.
"I said, do you want me to clean it?" Andrew looked at her with tired eyes.
Ashley thought about it for a moment and then reluctantly handed the bear to Andrew, who pinched its ear to minimize the most physical contact with the dumpster fire.
That night, while Ashley was lying in bed, she thought about why you had decided to give her the bear. Maybe it really was a ploy to get closer to her brother... but Ashley couldn't help but have fun with you. Maybe, just maybe, she could enjoy this friendship a little longer.
For the next couple of weeks, you and Ashley would hang out in spots around the city.
You'd go to the movies, window shopping, clubs (mostly to get thrown out by the bouncer), food joints, and greasy taco trucks.
Ashley would come home with a pleasant smile on her face. Oftentimes, being teased by Andrew, who said he was "finally glad Ashley found a friend."
However, this didn't mean that you were safe from Ashley's tantrums. Whenever you talked to Andrew for too long or made plans with other friends, Ashley would start crying.
This became increasingly obvious when you started becoming more acquainted with Andrew.
"I thought you were my friend Y/N! I should've known you just want Andy all to yourself! I knew it! You don't care about me at all!"
"What!? No! I was just trying to ask the time-"
"I knew it! You're fake, fake, fake!! You're only hanging out with me because of my brother. You're so selfish! Well fine, since you like him so fucking much then leave! And while we're at it, why don't you just fuck him since that's all you're good for anyways!"
Ashley laughed as she dug her fingernails into your shoulders, "Everyone is just slutting around for my brother! Including you! I should've known! I should've known!-"
In a moment, your lips were on Ashley's, instantly shutting you up.
When you pulled away, Ashley stood there shocked. Her fingernails were no longer digging into your skin but rather grazing your shoulder blades.
"Would someone obsessed with your brother do that?"
Ashley opened her mouth to speak but closed it instead. She looked down and shook her head.
"I love you, Leyley, but has anyone told you you're exhausting to be with?"
Ashley nodded and rested her head on your shoulder, "You're the one that talked to me first, Y/N. You don't get to complain."
You sighed and wrapped your arms around her. Clicking your tongue as you took a moment to process all the foul things Ashley said in the heat of the moment.
"You know, everyone was right. You're kind of a psycho." You looked at Ashley's face.
"And?" She scoffed,
"It doesn't bother me."
Ashley smiled into your shirt, "You're stuck with me,"
"Forever~"
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Thank you for the ask!<3
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kaddyssammlung · 5 months
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