#we finished this scene but this is where we've left off for today

[spockvarietyhour]

The Experience ™️

#we finished this scene but this is where we've left off for today #Fallout #Fallout TV #Fallout Prime #The Target #Yao Guai #T60 Power Armor #Titus #Knight Titus #spoilers #Fallout Spoilers #Danny and Renae watch Fallout

[jokeroutsubs]

ENG translation: If we believed that we were "kings", that wouldn't be us

An interview with Bojan Cvjetićanin for Slovenian newspaper Delo, originally published on 24.12.2023. Audio version by IG GBoleyn123

Original article is available here for Delo subscribers. Original article written by Lucijan Zalokar for Delo; photos by Jože Suhadolnik; English translation by a member of Joker Out Subs, native proof reading by IG GBoleyn123.

If you repost quotes from the interview, please link back to this post! And if you repost the photos, do not crop out the photographer credit.

With Bojan Cvjetićanin about the international breakthrough of Joker Out, the movie Kaj pa Ester?, about life on the road, football, sociology…

I met up with Bojan Cvjetićanin in Ljubljana's Stegne industrial zone, where the members of the popular pop rock (in their jargon: shagadelic rock'n'roll) group Joker Out created a rehearsal space for themselves two years ago. "Lately we've been on the road a lot, but this is still a great second home. If only you knew about the parties that happened here. There were fifty people dancing downstairs," he proudly looked from a small gallery towards the space that measures approximately thirty square metres. Even though the clock had just struck three in the afternoon, the 24-year-old Ljubljana resident had a long day behind him, which had been entirely dedicated to media obligations.

In journalistic circles, we often hear indignation about how modern day influencers - especially those who had gained their influence on social media - have no books on their shelves. Joker Out are first and foremost musicians, of course, but with 150,000 followers (Bojan's personal profile has 190,000) on Instagram, we can count them among the big Slovenian influencers. And there are plenty of books on their shelves.

I don't want to falsely portray the popular fivesome as enlightened donors to the Slovenian literary market: most of the books resemble those you can buy for little money in second-hand bookshops, or even get for free at library write-offs, but they still deserve praise for both the aesthetic sense and the content.

I also don't want to falsely portray the books as the only notable objects in the rehearsal space. There are also the golden plate for the Eurovision single Carpe Diem, which got over two million streams in Finland, a transfusion bag (Rh-) that Tomi Meglič¹, Cvjetićanin's biggest teenage idol, personally brought to them, and a small shop's worth of props given to them by fans: pillows with hand-embroidered patterns, plushies, bras with Instagram accounts written on them, various sweets, you could even find a vinyl from a Soviet cover band of The Beatles. If things continue like that, they soon won't have any space left for instruments, but those are just sweet worries. Joker Out, who were formed in 2016, are currently conquering Europe in a way that the Slovenian music scene has never seen before.

¹frontman of Siddharta, whose third album was called Rh-

I've heard that you approach your job with the utmost professionalism and that you wake up at five in the morning for media obligations.

That's true, today we started early in the morning in Maribor. The first few hours were the most tiring because we were constantly changing locations and driving around the city. After the third or fourth activity, we relaxed a little because we got to the studio. After that, everyone started coming to us instead of the other way around.

Slovenian cinemas have started playing the movie Kaj pa Ester? in which you play a boy who enrolled in high school just to get close to his ex girlfriend again. Did you have any problems with trying to get into the high school mentality?

We filmed the movie two years ago, when my memories of high school were much more fresh than they are today. But on the other hand, I played a boy who had just finished the ninth grade of primary school, so I had to put myself into the shoes of a primary school kid, which is much harder. We're also pretty different personality-wise. But almost the entire cast was around the same age, so too old. We joked about that a lot during filming.

Still, that's nothing unusual in the movie world.

Of course, there are 35-year-olds starring in High School Musical and no one is complaining.

Could you draw any parallels between a musical stage performance and filming a movie? You have to play a kind of role during a concert too...

I have to admit that it's completely different. On stage, I never feel like I'm performing. Of course I am actually performing, but I'm still in the role of myself, Bojan, whereas in the movie, I'm someone completely different. It might be easier to compare filming a movie with recording music in the studio, but there are big differences there as well. The biggest one is that for a movie, the director has the main and the final say. You have to trust him. When you film a scene, you don't even see what you've filmed for a long time. The movie in which I play one of the main roles will be played in cinemas, and I don't even know what I will look like on the big screen. It's different with music, because us authors listen to the songs a hundred times, a thousand times; we're the ones who make all the final decisions. That's quite a mental leap, but I didn't have too many problems with it, because I knew the previous projects of that team. V dvoje ('In a tandem') is my favourite Slovenian TV series. On the other hand, I needed time to get used to this new method of working. If I asked to see the scene we'd filmed one more time, but the director said it was good, we kept filming without hesitation.

You said that on stage, you are always in the role of yourself. Does the nature of that role change from concert to concert? And what influences it? The audience, the outfit…

The outfit has an influence for sure. More than I initially thought. Lately we've been playing with our stage look a lot and looking for the right combination. I currently find that the outfit suits me very well, it's just the shoes that bother me because they're too rigid. I have to change them. They're huge and massive, which makes me feel like I'm clumsily marching around the stage, whereas during rehearsals I wear sneakers and I'm therefore a lot more in the mood for dancing.

What about the language you sing in? Many people say that they feel as if by switching between different languages, they are also switching between their personalities.

I agree. When you change the language, your voice has a different colour and register, you come up with different jokes than in your mother tongue. If I lead a concert in Slovenian, Serbian, or English, I'm a different dude every time. This is also influenced by my notion that each time, I'm performing for a different group of people who are connected by a certain mentality. In Slovenia, I'm performing as a local for locals, and I feel like there are different "game rules" than for example in Croatia or Serbia. Elsewhere, I feel like I don't even think about this.

How did you get the idea to start creating and singing in English? You already broke through internationally with Slovenian.

Us creating in foreign languages isn't so much a result of wanting to break through internationally and the mentality that only English ensures global success. If we thought that way, we wouldn't have gone to Eurovision with a Slovenian song. We're primarily driven by a desire to learn new things, to push the boundaries... In the studio, it's similar to being on the stage. If you change the language, you're not only a different person on stage, but also inside your head. Your creativity is different. Playing with languages is actually also playing with your own creativity, because you enter a different space, a different mentality. The song Sunny Side of London could not have been made if we hadn't mentally transported ourselves to an English-speaking space. We want many more projects like that, not necessarily in English.

Can you be more specific? What kind of mentality do you associate Sunny Side of London with?

That song is a sort of homage to all the people who have suddenly become part of our story. Sunny Side of London has nothing to do with London as such. I was looking for a name of a well-known place with which to name all our concerts, and I decided on London.

The first time I said the words Are you guys real? – Is this really happening, are you really here and singing our songs? – on the stage, certain English phrases snuck into my mind. What the hell is going on? and so on. We also experienced, for the first time, foreigners coming up to us and talking about their own experiences connected to our music. That was something completely new for us. We listened to all those stories in English, as our fans of course can't speak Slovenian, even though they can sing our Slovenian lyrics. Sunny Side of London therefore emerged as a collection of all the experiences and stories that fans told us after gigs.

You've already touched on fans who sing your lyrics by heart from Finland to Spain. Could you highlight the nation with the best ear for the Slovenian language?

On the latest tour, when we visited Lithuania, Poland, Czechia and Croatia, there were moments when I felt like I was singing in Slovenia. In Prague, I filmed the audience singing Umazane misli without me. As if I were in Križanke, for example. But it's even more fascinating that people sing well in England and Nordic countries too. It's understandable that our Slavic brothers have the best ear for Slovenian, but northerners aren't far off either.

How much of your international success do you attribute to the Eurovision performance?

A huge amount.

If you had to express it in a percentage?

99.9.

Really?

Definitely. It was an incredible catapult. Whenever I ask the audience at our international concerts if anyone was already with us before Eurovision, a few hands shoot up every time, but those are rare exceptions.

How do you explain the fact that you finished in the relatively humble 21st place in Liverpool, but your visibility still grew in leaps and bounds?

We were very, very, very dedicated to the Eurovision project. We put a lot of time and energy into demonstrating to the people who were open to it that we weren't just a three-minute performance, but very much an existing band that has made many songs and that lives on stage. With time, and of course in connection with the Eurovision performance, more and more listeners got to know that. We clearly showed them: we are here, we are real, try it, connect with us.

Because they had so much different content available, this actually happened. I think it was also because they saw that Joker Out really was made out of five completely regular dudes from Slovenia who live a totally normal life, and at the same time we make music and have a great time doing it. That is already a slight deviation from what's been happening recently, when we're being bombarded from all sides by messages that we need to distance ourselves from each other, that we have to hate each other...

That was the sociologist in you talking.

That's true. The atmosphere in society nowadays is such that it emphasises individuality more than building a team. Young people, however, need and want to be part of a community. And we offered them that chance.

Where does your interest in social sciences come from? Your father is a gynecologist, your mother a pediatrician, and you have a degree in sociology.

I had a very good professor in high school. If you wanted to listen to him, he offered a lot of knowledge. Even though sociologists often think about society in an abstract way, the subject always felt tangible to me. I recognised it in very concrete life situations that I was trying to understand. At my final exams, I did a great job with sociology with very little effort – and then made a mistake and enrolled in economics. I wavered between those two options from the start, and in the end, what tipped the scales were the warnings of many people I knew that sociology doesn't have good employment prospects. I gave in to the pressure and very quickly realised I had made the wrong decision. I gave up on economics after the first semester. That was when I seriously threw myself into the band, we made Gola, and then I transferred to sociology and there was happiness all around.

You clearly won't work as a sociologist for a while yet, if ever...

But I am a sociologist.

In your soul?

No, as my profession. Us musicians are sociologists. A lot of sociological terms could easily be transferred into our environment. Locale, for example. In third year, the professor asked me several times: Well, Cvjetićanin, if you have a concert, is that locale or something else? And then I said it was locale and started rambling on. (laughter)

So you are a singing sociologist?

Exactly.

How do you explain the success of Joker Out from a sociological point of view? How do your songs address the zeitgeist?

I write the lyrics exclusively based on stories that really happened. Not necessarily to me, but to people I love. Therefore, I have a strong emotional relationship with the subject matter. My opinion is that there will always be people who will connect with the story if it's real. Because it's easiest for us to connect with real emotions. Our songs are love songs, they talk about finding yourself and personal growth, some are socially critical... I think that I have managed to find the right balance between being direct and being poetic.

I'll word it differently. The Beatles already sang about love and personal growth. And they weren't the first ones by far. Later on, those same themes were covered by hundreds of successful bands and an infinite number of slightly less successful ones.

I think that nowadays, we most often associate societal changes with technological development. Technological advances largely dictate the rhythm of our life. But those advances are mostly just a substitute for something that already existed in the past. The basic emotions have therefore certainly stayed the same. Love, fear, hatred... I think that the use of language is very important here. Even though the emotions don't change, the way we put them into words does. In music, too. I don't sing about a topic the same way my peers would have in the 1970s. Consequentially, our relationship with emotions is changing and evolving as well. As if our entire society is gravitating towards the point of holding the belief that it's better for an individual to feel less and less, and in a more and more censored way.

On the one hand, excessive use of social media and other media causes us to feel like distinct individuals. On the other hand, it connects us to the world and places us into a very wide picture. In every moment, we are only a click away from becoming cosmopolitan and being able to access all the information, events, and people, but at the same time, that's exactly what reminds us that we are a small and actually not very important dot on this planet. The magnitude of everything that's constantly available to us makes us feel small. I think that we mostly listen to, watch, and use those who manage to poke the spot that unnerves people the most in this context. If performers manage to break through the firewall of someone's VPN, then those people will also show their interest in an analogue way. Otherwise, they will only be a swipe away.

And now a question that's more psychological than sociological: do you ever try to get into the heads of the people who time and again show their interest in very analogue ways?

I have an infinite appreciation for their dedication, because for myself, I don't see the chance of a phenomenon exciting me so much that I would be ready to dedicate so much time and love to it.

So you've never been a very hardcore fan?

If, at twelve years old, I had to highlight one musicians that I would've wanted to meet more than anyone in the world, that would definitely have been Tomi Meglič. That hasn't changed to this day. The only difference is that we meet up with Tomi and we're friends. I still feel the highest possible level of respect for him. Every time he calls me, I am extremely proud of myself. But I still cannot imagine going to, say, Berlin tomorrow if Siddharta were playing there and I had a free day. I'd go to Maribor or Zagreb, but absolutely not across all of Europe the way the biggest fans do. Not even at twelve. I could sooner imagine that at that age, a football match rather than a concert would be the thing that excited me beyond all reason.

We're probably talking about two groups of celebrities that get worshipped as deities by the masses in Western society: footballers and pop and rock musicians. And this is probably linked to emotions again.

True. The thing that wakes up a person's sense of smell, sight, and all other emotions that overcame them as a child, is what has the best possibility of succeeding.

Now please explain how this is connected to football.

If I go to a concert by Siddharta, Big Foot Mama, Magnifico, I turn into a ten-year-old kid who will explode from happiness. There's no Bojan anymore. He gets lost. It's the same with football. When I watch it, I dream about how I played for Slovan² as a kid and what I wanted more than anything was to score a goal and for everyone in the stands to yell: Yeeeees!

²ND Slovan is a football club from Ljubljana

You don't score goals, but you are in a similar position that Tomi Meglič used to be in.

All the band members come from very loving families that have always provided us with a very good support system and instilled basic values in us that we internalised deeply. That is why everything that's currently happening around us hasn't gone to our heads in a way that would make us think that we're bigger or more important than anyone else. If we started believing that we were "kings" because everyone was clapping for us and singing our songs, that would probably be a very strong feeling, but that simply wouldn't be us. We mostly love to see all the people, because we know how much we mean to them and how much they mean to us. Without them, we wouldn't be able to focus on what's most important to us – our music. On the other hand, I can say with a thousand percent certainty that I would easily and happily do my job if I was performing at venues like Cankarjev dom. So, in front of a calmer audience, without unreal hype.

But what I would like most in the world is to turn into a footballer for ten seconds and score a goal at an important match. You know why? Because that is the biggest adrenaline hit that exists. When we perform on various stages, there's mayhem around us for two hours straight. But in football, when a goal is scored, that happens in a millisecond. You go from nothing into total chaos. Everyone loses their minds. I'd love to experience that. Well, I did – much like everyone who played football in primary school. When I scored a goal for Slovan and a hundred people in the stands clapped for me, I felt like I was on Maracanã. Imagine what it would be like to experience that on the real Maracanã.

It's interesting that you highlighted a loving and stable family background. Many of the biggest pop and rock stars in the world grew up in a diametrally opposite environment. From John Lennon and Janis Joplin to Prince and Rihanna. There are actually so many of them that we can talk about a pattern.

I know, because I love to read their (auto)biographies, and I agree with your assessment that their family circumstances are fundamentally different than ours. That is always my answer to the question when someone wants to know how debauched our tours are. When I tell them that we mostly drink water and tea on the road, they just can't believe it. But it's the truth, because we've realised three things. First, we enjoy what we do immensely, and from the experiences of many musicians, we know that you can almost definitely forget about a long career if you start doing everything that we perceive as the proverbial rock'n'roll lifestyle. A band like that breaks up sooner or later, either because of frayed nerves, or exploding egos, or because of money. Second, we've all had to go to work hungover and we know very well that it's unbearable. I especially can't imagine how we could stay healthy and keep our strength and our voice if we were constantly hungover on the road. In that case, the only short-term solution is drugs, which we fortunately [knocks on wood] don't do. And third: I'm sure that you have a much better time on stage if you're aware that you are on it.

Your international breakthrough doesn't have a precedent among Slovenian musicians. Would you dare to point out where the difference is, why you made it and not for example Siddharta, who had filled Bežigrad stadium and later did not hide their international ambitions?

We have to understand that Siddharta didn't have the chance to perform at a festival like Eurovision. It's hard to understand what it means for 160 million people to watch you. That is a bizzarely huge number. All this happened in the time of social media, and we had set up a pretty good mechanism in that area even before Eurovision, and then also used it, whereas Siddharta established itself as a band in the time of analogue media. I can't even imagine how it would've been possible to break through abroad from Slovenia at that time. Because even we are already – even though some things have opened up for us very nicely and we've been joined by the right people – finding out how much of an investment going international demands. Dreams of megalomanical earnings and a luxurious life brought on by a European tour shatter quickly. Even when you start filling up venues, you stay in a kind of hustle mode. You fight. Unfortunately, the costs in the music business are so high that performing abroad is more or less just for promotion for a long time.

You're probably thinking of logistical costs?

Yes. Some of my colleagues have total misconceptions about our earnings. They think that we're literally swimming in money, while we actually earn what amounts to a normal salary.

In March next year you will have eighteen concerts. You will start in Helsinki and end in Milan. How will you travel?

With a tour bus. We've rented it twice so far: for the UK tour and for the tour around Lithuania, Poland, and Czechia. There are beds on it, so we can sleep while driving from one concert to the next. The tourbus is prohibitively expensive, you pay almost half of your royalties for it, but it's the only way for a musician with such a packed schedule to survive in the long run. Sometimes people ask me why we don't travel with a van instead, but you have to understand that we sometimes have concerts two days in a row and the venues are 800 kilometres apart. If we spent all night in an uncomfortable van, then looked for a hotel in the morning and so on, we might be able to endure it for a week, but definitely not all month.

Do you ever sleep in a hotel?

Only on free days.

Will the March tour be your most exhausting one so far?

It will definitely be one of the more exhausting ones, but I am definitely happy that we will be able to sleep on a tour bus. We haven't been on a month-long tour yet, so it's hard to predict anything, but on the Nordic tour this year we played six concerts in five days, because we had two concerts in one day in Helsinki. We didn't have a tour bus there, we flew instead. That meant that after the concert, we got to the hotel at midnight, then we had to be at the airport at three in the morning, a few hours later we were already at the new location, we napped for two hours on a couch, had a soundcheck – rinse and repeat for five days in a row.

Let's not talk only about the negative sides of tours…

Of course. I love sleeping on the bus! I fall asleep like a baby who's being taken for a walk in a stroller. I can't sleep more than nine or ten hours in my bed at home, on a tour bus I easily get twelve hours. Maybe it's because it's constantly shaking a little. The other guys also sleep very well on the road.

But the most magical thing on tours is when I visit a city for the first time just because we have a gig there. That seems unimaginable to me. To meet new people, wonderful fans, to bond as a band, experience new, funny situations, to bring home a bunch of new inside jokes and incredible gifts that fans have made themselves. [Points towards a hand-embroidered pillow in the part of the studio where they keep the gifts.]

Elite athletes often lament that it's true that they compete all over the world, but they often only see the airport, the hotel, and the sports venue.

It's similar for us. When we travel with a bus, we only see the venue. If we happen to have a free day, we walk around the city, but we definitely don't visit all kinds of tourist attractions as some people might wrongly imagine. When we go to Paris, we definitely won't go to the Louvre, and we will see the Eiffel tower through the bus window if everything goes well.

But you meet a lot of interesting people.

That's true. I find it the most fascinating if we meet fans when we don't expect them at all. In a restaurant, on a plane… When we were flying to Poland, it turned out that one of the flight attendants was a big fan of ours. She told us that she was going to three of our concerts and brought us champagne and a model of a Lot Polish Airlines plane.

I was even more surprised in Helsinki. I went to some kind of dark club that had a techno music party. Suddenly I was approached by three people, two guys and one girl, and they told me that they were our fans and that they couldn't believe that they met me in that club. I also couldn't believe that people recognised me in the middle of Helsinki. What's going on?!

In the summer, you took a step back from Instagram for a while. What brought you to that decision?

Many things. I felt creatively empty. I also, for the first time in my life, experienced the internet – not just Slovenian, but global – being completely oversaturated with me. That started negatively pressuring me and eating me up. I thought about it a lot, and the first time I asked myself whether I'd be less Bojan Cvjetićanin if I didn't have an Instagram profile, I turned it off. Immediately after that, I wrote three songs; I felt as if I had cleaned up some of the mess that had built up recently. I returned to social media some time ago; with much healthier habits than before, I think.

How do you see social media? As a space for playfulness, for promotion, part of the job, part of private life?

I think that at the time when they started killing me, I perceived them too professionally. I had a feeling that Instagram was a platform through which I had to achieve all sorts of things. Lately, I prefer to joke around more.

If you repost quotes from the interview, please link back to this post! And if you repost the photos, do not crop out the photographer credit.

#bojan cvjetićanin #bojan cvjeticanin #joker out #Spotify

[thedreadvampy]

We had our team Christmas party/goodbye Ruth do today. and I need to show you what my friend at work made me for a leaving present because even for him it's a work of mad genius, I was just sitting there like WHAT. WHAT IS HAPPENING.

so you know, I get leaving gifts from my team, it's lovely, notebooks, pens, gift card, fond farewells, it's lovely, people say nice things about me

then my friend Zain says "I also got you something"

Now the thing to know about Zain is his party acumen is legendary. every year we're all resigned from the off to losing at Secret Santa because his gifts are insane. last year he made his secret santa a custom play set of one of our services in a branded box with tiny props. this year he made a custom Ken doll and box representing our colleague and it has a tiny collection bucket and a "collect them all!" sticker on the back where he'd found pictures of Barbies and Kens that looked like the rest of the Fundraising team. we'd just got done with a quiz where he made a custom video package, a Family Feud round with buzzers, and TWO Photoshop picture rounds. once. ONCE. we asked him to facilitate a team meeting and he wrote and animated a theme song. the man is insane. everything he does is so thoughtful, so labour intensive, and also so off the wall weird.

so I'm intrigued. especially since all he's holding is an envelope.

he says "I got you something. It's kind of an experience."

and hands me this letter.

(there's a bunch of good bits in here but I will particularly note that "It's going" has been his perpetual refrain for months every time I ask how it's going, to the point he usually doesn't even bother saying it any more.)

ok. I am confused. what is. THE DEVICE.

he puts THE DEVICE on the table. he hands me 4 cardboard floppy discs.

THE DEVICE is a large cardboard box. You will observe that THE DEVICE has an LED on the front. You may also observe that THE DEVICE has both a button. and a set of speaker holes.

this is because upon pushing the button on THE DEVICE, it makes a jaunty startup noise and an AI voice launches into a full minute setup speech before instructing me to load the included floppy discs into THE DEVICE. during the period of silence as I feed them into the slot, THE DEVICE says things like "ow, careful!"

THE DEVICE then makes loading noises, and instructors me to open THE DEVICE to see the contents of the discs.

inside the box, there are 4 gifts, each corresponding to a floppy disc and also to a conversation we've had at some point in the last 2.5 years.

this, of course, is in reference to my infamous Blobbyland post, and indeed to the fact that Zain, who is 3 years younger than me, actually FOUND OUT ABOUT MR BLOBBY from me taking about my popular Tumblr post

Gawrsh.zip references a conversation about Goofy dying in Kingdom Hearts, the first video game I remember finishing

EIGHT MONTHS AGO Zain asked me what my top 5 films of all time were and I said easy, Mirrormask, 10 Things, Angels In America, Everything Everywhere All At Once, Fury Road, boom. He's been just HOLDING THAT INFORMATION IN HIS HEAD FOR MONTHS.

the last one is my favourite. I was like oh no what could be in this poster tube cause what's left of the floppies is NIGHTMARE.EXE.

at my Halloween party last month, to which Zain was my only work friend who made it, we watched Nightmare on Elm Street and Zain, who had recently watched some video breakdowns on it, was pointing out humorous background details. and in the sleep therapist scene, both he and Tim pointed at the screen and started shouting TRAM CATS!!! and we were all losing our shit

the thing is there's a Very Weird poster in that scene. and now. now it's in my house also.

anyway I legit almost cried this may be the most unhinged and lovely gift that anyone has ever given me. I'm going to miss working with this weirdo so much.

#red said #OH i also won the quiz. by half a point. so i have a trophy also!

[apple-stims80]

So is this Love? (6/?)

Frank smiled to himself playing with the paper butterflies as he sat across from Julie, she squealed smiling ear to ear after reading the letter. "Are you finished" Frank said handing his hand out for his letter back "one moment" Julie said squinting her eyes at it as if there was something hidden "I know I've seen this handwriting before" she mumbled making Frank's ears perk up "you know who it is!" He exclaimed eagerly slamming his hands down on the small garden table "I might, I just can't remember where I've seen it" she said looking closer at the letter her eyeballs were practically touching it leaving Frank confused and concerned.

The two decided to go around the neighborhood again, this time they made everyone, who would, write something down. They'd gotten a hand full the ones missing were Wally's, Barnaby's, and Eddie's. Julie knew not to mess with Wally and Home's personal time, she never knew what they did but last time she got in the way Wally just stared at her with voids no longer his calm, smooth, welcoming eyes but black voids that seemed to swallow her, she never got in the way again. Barnaby just wasn't home and from judging the amount of mail pouring out his mailbox he'd been gone for awhile making Frank and Julie grow concerned but brushed it off as "he's just sick". As for Eddie they couldn't find him, they went to the post office. The lights were turned off singling he was most likely on a run but after walking around for a bit they didn't run into him not hear him falling down, he wasn't the most careful nor graceful when it came to delivers Howdy had lost count at the many times Eddie came in just to be patched up.

The two sighed giving up after a few hours of searching "ugh why does this have to be so difficult! " Julie groaned waving her hand in the air, they had decided to sit down in her garden well Frank was and Julie laid next to him. "We should just give it time" Frank said "They'll reveal themselves when or if they want to in time" he said but soft said the last part obviously upset, what if they never reveal themselves and he goes insane trying to figure it out, what if he has to be taken away, what if the person moves or something happens to them. (Foreshadowing 👀)

Julie huffed crossing her arms sitting up "it isn't fair" "to me or to you" Frank teased knowing she was as frustrated as he was at the moment. "Hey!" She said looking at him making him scoff at her in a friendly way "well it should be soon don't you think? " she asked he looked at her confused "I mean we've narrowed it down to three maybe two people, Wally and Eddie were too busy and didn't even get to see them today and Barnaby, if he is sick, hasn't been active enough to write a letter let alone walk to Eddie and give it to him I mean he can't even check his mailbox." Frank pondered for a moment 'do I even like Wally enough to return the feelings if it's him, and Eddie am I willingly to let my guard down enough for him' Julie noticed his face go to a more sad expression "hey, I'm pretty sure no matter who it is you'll make the right decision. No one's going to force you to like them" she said placing a hand on Frank's shoulder giving him a soft smile "how about we have a sleepover, like the ones we used to have" after saying that Frank looked at her and for the first time gave her a small soft smile "that'd be nice."

The two spent the night watching bad dramas and romance films they made Frank cringe at the bad script and made Julie awe at every kiss scene. They told scary stories and no matter how hard Julie tried she just couldn't make one up good enough making Frank laugh at her poor attempt making her huff and cross her arms. Their last activity was taking a walk in the forest once the clock hit midnight, the air was so much better and no matter how cold the nightly breezes were it always felt nice.

"We need do these more often" Julie said as Frank roll out an old sleeping, he left it there since they used to have so many sleepovers it just made sense to, Frank looked her she was laying upside down letting her front half hang off the bed smiling at him. He turned away from her taking his robe off "yeah take it off" Julie said pretending to throw money at him making him roll his eyes, he forgot she did that. "Goodnight sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite but knowing you, you'd like that" when said teasingly once they had laid down making Frank groaned in response rolling on his side away from her bed "goodnight."

Eddie hummed walking down the pathway that led to Barnaby's, Frank's, and Julie's house smiling as he placed Franks mail into his mailbox before turning away but stopped humming once he saw Frank walking out of Julie's house, she gave him a big hug and and Returned it! Frank had never returned one a hug let alone Julie's what was different now were they 'are they together? ' Eddie wondered feeling his big felt heart break no they couldn't be could they? Hugs were something all neighbors gave each other but they were something Frank never liked not even from his best friend. Eddie bit his lip turning away direction he wanted to take the letter out of Frank's mailbox but that would've given him away "oh, Eddie! " he heard the grey man behind him say he gulped turning back around not looking into the others eyes if he did he would've broken down. "Are you alright? you seem upset" Frank said worried placing a hand on the others shoulder "oh, yes I'm fine" Eddie said smiling trying his best to sound uplifting and happy "well I better get going the mail won't deliver itself" he said trying to make a joke tipping his hat before walking away "oh before you go, do you know who wrote those letters the love ones? " Frank asked making Eddie stop in his tracks he gulped biting his lip gripping the strap on his bag shaking 'I should just say it' he thought turning back around.

#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #wally welcome home #welcome home barnaby #welcome home eddie #welcome home frank #welcome home julie #welcome home fanfic #eddie dear #frank frankly #julie joyful

[luvn1n1]

EP 6: cafe trip!!

The bustling atmosphere of the photo shoot set buzzed with excitement as you arrived at the location. The air was charged with creative energy, and the anticipation of a successful shoot was palpable.as you navigated through the makeup and styling area, your attention was immediately drawn to Heeseung, the charismatic and stylish subject of the shoot.

Heeseung sat in the makeup chair, surrounded by a team of skilled stylists who were diligently working their magic to enhance his natural features. The soft glow of the vanity lights accentuated his features, making him even more captivating. He exuded an air of confidence as he engaged in light conversation with the makeup artist, his eyes occasionally meeting yours in the reflection of the mirror.

Caught in the act of admiring his presence, Heeseung flashed a playful smile in my direction. His gaze locked onto mine, and he took advantage of the moment to inject a bit of flirtation into the air. "Like what you see?" he teased, the corners of his lips curling into a mischievous grin. He gives you a quick, flirtatious wink as you blushed.

As the makeup artist added the finishing touches, Heeseung maintained eye contact, his gaze holding a subtle promise of more playful interactions to come. And so, with the final stroke of the makeup brush, Heeseung rose from the chair, ready to face the camera and continue capturing hearts both in front of and behind the scenes.

------

The photo shoot wrapped up, leaving a trail of satisfied smiles and creative energy in its wake. Heeseung and you found yourselves walking side by side, to the nearby cafe as the two promise to meet after the shoot.

The cafe was a quaint spot with a cozy atmosphere, the perfect setting for a relaxed conversation. You founded a corner table and settled in, laughter flowing effortlessly as we shared stories from the shoot and exchanged lighthearted banter.

Heeseung took a sip of his coffee and joked, "Well it’s obvious that I’m a better model than you"

You glared in a playful way, "What?”

Heeseung feigned surprise, placing a hand over his heart. "Are you saying I’m not a good model? My apologies, I'll make sure to turn the charm up a notch." He gives you another flirtatious look as you roll your eyes.

As we continued to talk, the conversation delved into more personal territory. The atmosphere between us became more relaxed.

"You know," he said, his gaze meeting mine, "I feel like we've known each other for much longer than just today."

You smiled, feeling a flush of warmth in my cheeks. "Yeah, it's strange, but in a good way. Like we're picking up from where we left off in another lifetime."

Heeseung's grin widened, and there was a subtle shift in the air. As the evening progressed, and the cafe lights cast a soft glow on our faces, you couldn’t help but get butterflies in your stomach. Heeseung's parting words held a promise, "We should do this again, don't you think?"

And so, with the promise of more shared moments, we parted ways, carrying the warmth of newfound connection into the night.

AN: really long chapter..NOT PROOFREAD!!

prev | master list | next

#enhypen #jake #heeseung #jay #sunghoon #enha x reader #sunoo #niki #kpop #jungwon #heeseung x yn #heeseung smau #enhypen imagine #enhypen reactions #enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen au #enhypen scenarios #enhypen smau

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here my friend after a very, very long week. This is actually my 3rd attempt at sending you an ask. First, I finally had time and was excited to type up something for the latest episode and then the Buck LI stuff came out and the mood for that was killed. Next I had mostly typed up my salty thoughts only to have my internet go down (yes, I whined at home "what i was going to read??!!" and pointedly ignored my very much filled bookcase because my ships aren't in them). So here let's see if this one works out.

So how is it KR and the promo dept always manage to kill any joy we have when we get fed any kind of Buddie content (the follow-up to the Eddie getting shot, and the 5b and premier come to mind here)?? Seriously Buck and Eddie more or less went on a date and had family night together and almost immediately they came back with "look Buck and Eddie are going to go on dates!!". Its exhausting cause it seems like any time they put out a story that might even be slightly suggestive of them being more than platonic bros they insist on following it up with stories to "prove" they are, no matter how recycled those plots are.

And okay let's take a second here to ask WTF is KR doing with these characters? In 6b alone we've had Buck dying, a coma dream, PTSD, super powers, and now he's getting a crush, and we STILL haven't finished the accursed sperm donor storyline??!! Bobby and Athena investigated had the death of a beloved friend 🙄 plot, HenRen had the nonsensical Denny secretly seeing his Dad which was never an issue before plot, and Madney and Eddie are just kinda there?? The other characters have had at best one storyline where the audience has to either invent or rewrite the backstory for. But for Buck he's had like 50 plotlines, none of which have really gone anywhere? I love Buck but I'd rather have him have 1 good arc and resolution than whatever this bullshit is. I'd easily take that screentime and give it to any of the other characters if it meant we got 1 well thought out and executed storyline. Instead we're just recycling and redressing old plots for everyone else while KR uses a magnetic poetry set to plan what Buck's doing from episode to episode. We have 5 episodes left in the season, 4-5 guest characters that are going to be incorporated (including 2 much beloathed ones 🙄🙄🙄), and nothing really setup for our mains to do (even Eddie dating isn't setup, it literally hasn't come up after Ana and you'd think they could have in 6a while he was watching his son mature).

Anyway, I'll stop the rant here though there's definitely more I could say. I'll close off saying I hope you're feeling better today since this week looks like its been rough on you. Sending you virtual tea, soup, and hugs!!

Long week is RIGHT my friend! I'm so sorry you were foiled in your previous attempts! I am right there with you on the Buck LI stuff just...sucking a lot of the joy out of things for me. Because of course we're doing this again 🙄🙄🙄 I was even writing up notes on a possible fic and you KNOW I haven't written anything since Malex and even that was before s4 started. But alas. That sucks about the power going out! I hate when that happens especially if I was in the middle of something! (Also I am SO with you. I keep buying books and then just...not reading them because my brain says "it's not our blorbos so no.)

I am just...so tired at this point. Like yes these people *may* not stick around, but even so, I don't want to loose out on Buddie scenes and Buckley-Diaz family scenes! I don't want Buck to have 90% of his time and discussions with some new character I do not know or care about instead of Eddie and the firefam! They already tried to do that with BT and it was the woooooorst! I want Eddie to have screentime and arcs but again, I don't want the little time we DO get to be wasted on some random side character! And lets be honest, there is no person they can introduce at this point that can compare with the relationship Buck and Eddie have already built and the ways in which they are the perfect partners for what each other needs. So the options are to a) cut down on seeing that relationship so their new het ones don't look so shitty and lame in comparison, b) have these women be mostly just Blurry Girlfriends in the background with no personality or depth just to have the boys paired off so they don't have to do Buddie while still centering their relationship so people can't call them out for not committing to Buddie because their "friendship" looks basically the same, or c) give them LIs that are basically the other's personalities transplanted into a female body in order to have the relationship be anything close to what Buck and Eddie need in a life partner. These are all terrible options, and I hate them, more than I hate the idea of them ending up single even though it undercuts their own narrative set up for the characters but that's a cop-out too.

ANYWAY

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 to everything about Buck's 700 shitty arcs this season while everyone else is mostly twiddling their thumbs. KR is literally the worst at pacing and planning, and constructing a season with any kind of flow. On the bright side, Ravi is coming back and Chim is going to get to do something! I'm so excited! I was really hoping for more of him and Bobby teaming up last week because the little crumbs we got were GOLD.

I did have a very emotionally rollercoaster-y week and the show being Like This absolutely Did Not Help, but I am making it work. Mostly with loooots of fic. Cheers friend, lets see if we can make it through the finale intact, if Buddie dreams can make it through the finale intact, and if the SHOW can make it through the finale intact with how these renewal negotiations are going.

#my sweet nonnie friends #sleeping at last anon #911 #911 spoilers #IDC how it turns out 5 episodes from now or next season this is literally a repeat of s2 AND s4 #with eddie getting with someone and buck going back to trying to date right after #i am TIRED #i am OVER them running things in circles and going nowhere #and i am sick of kr ruining everything about the show with her incompetence and her obsession with cheap drama #GOD and the sperm donor thing is STILL fucking going! #didn't she say how “fun” it could be to see buck trying to date in the middle of all that?! #GOD if i think too hard about that storyline or the next few episodes i just get filled with rage #so i'm gonna go read some fic and calm down #but it is past time for her to go for REAL #get that woman AWAY from buck and his arcs and the whole damn show actually #brb gotta go scream into the woods for an hour

[sevilemar]

Another viable GM lesson I learned: talk about GM problems with your players, and don't overthink it.

Today was cinema and game day (yes, we watched the DnD movie, and yes, it was fun), and I learned yesterday that my players did not really want to do the random encounter my part-time co-GM (ptcGM) had planned for the way back to the capital and the main story, but would rather dive straight back into the main plot of the campaign instead.

Which, first of all, flattering as fuck, because the dungeon crawl side quest in monster land from my ptcGM was really fun in every aspect. But secondly, it also sent me into mild panic. I had banked on today's session being a short one, kinda lazily finishing off the side quest so I can take over next session.

And I told my players, because there's no universe in which I could have kept it from them. And we started discussing where we left the main plot, what their PC's goals are, and what they would do next. I told them a few of the problems I had, and they suggested easy temporary solutions I never even thought of, and it took such a weight off my shoulders. I was so relieved I told them, and I still went home thinking furiously, but it was a good, creative thinking instead of the panicky overwhelmed feeling I felt coming on before.

And it was a good session. Shorter than usual, but I told them upfront that we're only playing up to a certain point, and because we've already been to the cinema, we still spent about our usual time together.

Just as a note to myself: I enjoyed GMing a lot more this session; it was incredibly fun to play multiple characters again, and get into completely different scenes and vibes back to back. I think that's what I really enjoy as GM, while imposing consequences and moving along plot points is more stressful than fun. Maybe because I'm a lot more insecure about my plot than I am at playing characters? Because I am very insecure about that.

Let's keep an eye on it and see if it gets better when I finally get it through my head that my players are actually having fun playing in my world, with the story beats I came up with, and they're not just saying it to be polite. It's probably gonna take a while, but now that we are spending more time together, and we are in the process of building trust in one another both in game and off, I hope it will happen sooner rather than later.

#dungeons and dragons #dnd #ttrpg #gming #first time gm

[dewcrafter]

Tea and sketches (pt. 4 of the painter)

It's been a week since I met Omi Omi, his name is Sakusa Kiyoomi but i'm sticking to calling him Omi Omi which he doesn't seem to mind and it turns out he actually had a name for me throughout the years and it was lotus because the first drawing he ever drew of me was me smelling a lotus, samu says that one of the lotus's meanings is rebirth which got us both thinking about our art and throughout the week we've been looking through old art, getting Omi Omi's dad and my mom to dig out old art that wasn't easy to find but we got enough to really show that we were really drawing things from our perspective and with the pieces together it showed a beautiful story, well that's just my opinion I don't know how Omi Omi feels about it all but he seems content "lotus?" said Omi Omi, catching my attention 

"yeah?" I asked looking up from the green tea I was zoning out at 

"we should make a painting together" he said, making my mind race for what we could paint together "yeah! What should we paint?" I asked curiously 

"why don't we paint this" he said looking away and to his koi as he threw some food in for them "that's a great idea!" I said smiling at him as I pulled the lotus tea cup to my lips to take a sip, he had a very cute lotus tea set the cups we're all blue with little lotus plants and petals with fish in the background while the tea pot was shaped with a lotus flower as the top with fake vines covering the handle and the body of the teapot faded from the flower head to underneath the painted water showing a koi and the stem of the beautiful flower "you really like the teapot huh?" said Omi Omi making me look away from it's beauty to an even lovelier sight 

"yeah, everything in your house is so mesmerizing" I said looking away at the surrounding area "I can't believe you paint and also do ceramics and it's so cool how your the definition of perfection at both" I said thinking back to his collection of ceramic fruit cups that are literally the cutest things ever. 

After tea we went off to a a very popular art store called Sekaido Art Supplies and there we bought a 20x40 in canvas, after getting the canvas and stopping by my house for some extra paint and my easel we went back to Omi Omi's house and sat down on a tarp he put on his floor and got to work sketching our sides of the canvas, often getting up to stare outside and put together all the pieces of the scene. 

After hours of talking and sketching we found that the sun had set and it was getting dark so I grabbed my things, said goodbye to Omi Omi and headed home on the walk home I thought about Omi Omi and how he calls me lotus, the nickname I like it and it's very cute but talking to him reminds me of how in three months i'll be joining the volleyball team MSBY black jackals in osaka which is really exciting and all but i'll be not only leaving my twin in tokyo but also now Omi Omi and I guess suna too but it's also so exciting to get back into volleyball again I finished up my thoughts when I got home to see the lights still on which was weird because samu was usually totally out of it after work so I walked in to make sure he didn't pass out on the floor from overworking himself "atsumu!" he said when I opened the door "where have you been!? It's been more than 6 hours since you left the house to go hang out with Sakusa and you're only getting back at 11?? Are you serious i've been worried if he killed you for goodness sake" he said storming over to me making me huff out a little laugh "you sound like ma" I said not really caring about his concerns "yeah yeah whatever" he said annoyed "don't ever come home this late again or I swear ima file a police report" he said crossing his arms 

"chill out samu I can handle myself perfectly fine" I said walking into my room and setting my things onto my table "what were you two even doing today?" questioned samu as he leaned against my door frame like a whore "drinking tea in his lovely backyard and feeding the koi and then he came up with the idea to paint a portrait together so we went to the store and bought a canvas and then while you were at work we dropped by and grabbed some extra paint to store at his for when we get to painting and then we started our sketching of it" I said happily 

"jeez what's with that love sick grin of yours" said samu frowning making me glare at him 

"well I bet it's the same smile you give sunarin when it's just the two of you" I fired at him 

"yeah okay so what's got you so into sakusa?" questioned samu 

"everything!" I said plopping down on my bed, getting the hint he walked over and layed down with me "did you hear the nickname he gave me!?" I questioned excitedly 

"yeah it's lotus" said samu sticking out his tongue and making a gagging gesture 

"yeah it is and it's ADORABLE" I said "just hearing him say lotus and knowing that i'm lotus is just so-" I said kicking my feet in happiness 

"yeah well suna calls me Hibiscus" said samu in his stupid i'm better than you tone 

"okay and? Lotus is a way cuter nickname" I said rolling my eyes 

"well lotus only means beauty, purity, prosperity and eternity while the hibiscus means love at first sight, beauty, love and emotional healing" said samu gloating about it 

"well at least lotus sounds way prettier than hibiscus and isn't a mouthful" I said shoving him lightly "yeah whatever you gremlin" he said sliding off my bed and walking off to his own, closing the door on his way out "GOODNIGHT SAMU" I yelled after him 

"GOODNIGHT TSUMU" he yelled back. 

#fanfic #haikyuu #haikyuufanfic #my writing #wattpad #ao3 #sakuatsu #sakusa kiyoomi #miya atsumu #atsusaku #miya twins #miya osamu #sunaosa #suna rintarō #suna rintarou #painterau #painting #haikyuuau

[johnsamericano]

𝓓𝓪𝔂 16:

ℓєє נєиσ

23 days of NCT masterlist.

taglist: @notbeforelong @whathamelon @mrcarbonatedmilk @curieouscapt @unknown5tar @gjheaaa @ajhdr @silent-potato

warnings: oral (male receiving), jealous Jeno, mentions of drunk sex, Jeno in those tight pants skaters wear 😭

“Watcha looking at?”

Jeno jolted, his eyes abandoning the pair of skaters practicing in the ice-rink. Just as he stopped watching, he heard a loud thud. You were laying down on your back, your partner sprinting towards your giggly figure.

“Are you alright?” He helped you up, his hand holding your waist naturally. “Stop laughing, you could’ve gotten yourself hurt.”

“I’ve fallen so many times that it doesn’t even hurt anymore, Jaems.” Jeno’s blood boiled at the name. You wouldn’t even call him by his name, while your partner had the privilege of having his very own nickname. “Let’s practice the death spiral.”

Jeno’s partner looked at him with curiosity, she’d never seen that look in his face before.

“Don’t tell me you’re planning on switching partners.” Jeno shook his head, tearing his gaze off You to finish tying his skates.

“Never, I was just studying our competition.” Right after finishing his task, he extended his hand towards his friend. “We need to practice hard, we’re only a few days away from the competition.”

You didn’t even spare him a glance as they entered the rink, too focused on finding the perfect way to hold Jaemin’s hand.

“Okay, we’ve got this.” You high fived him, getting in position to start your routine all over again. “Hey, Lee! Quit staring at us.” Apparently, you had taken notice of his gaze.

“I wasn’t!” The slight blush in his cheeks said otherwise. “Ignore them, Irene.”

As much as Jeno considered training with you in the same rink a blessing, you seemed to despise him. Maybe it was because of that time he called you untalented when he was a teen, or maybe it was because of that time he left the morning after having drunk sex with you, but who knows.

Nationals were held a couple of days later. Thankfully, you didn’t have to travel anywhere this year.

You cheerfully greeted all of the people you’d met during the past competitions, wishing them luck as Jaemin called you out to get ready.

You dressed in the beautiful black dress with small diamonds around your sleeves, Jaemin wearing a matching outfit, the tight shirt making his chest and shoulders look broader. You were both provided with a thick coat to cover you from the ice rink’s cold.

“You ready?” You went out of the dressing rooms, holding his hand tightly.

“We’re gonna do amazing.”

As you waited for another pair to finish their routine, a handsome Lee Jeno approached you.

“Ready to lose?” You scoffed, looking at him in disbelief. “What? There’s no way you’re gonna win against us.”

“May I remind you who won a golden medal last year?” Now it was his turn to scoff, both of your partners looking at the scene unfolding with curiosity.

“Wanna bet?” His face inched closer to your own, breath fanning against your slightly flushed cheeks.

“Deal. If I win, you’ll have to treat me and Jaems dinner.” That damn nickname again.

“Fine, but if I win, you’ll call me Jeno from now on.” It wasn't the deal he'd originally thought of, but the sudden mention of your partner made his blood boil with resentment.

You stared at him, squinting your eyes.

“Fine.” You finally replied as your name was being called through the speakers. “Break a leg.”

You threw your coat at him before entering the ice with Jaemin holding your hand, the crowd cheering loudly for the country's favorite pair. You skated around, warming up your legs as you waited for your music to get started. You stopped at the middle of the rink, placing your hand behind the nape of Jaemin’s neck to start your routine.

The melancholic sound of violins filled the place, your legs moving backward as you started your well-practiced routine.

Jeno watched everything from outside as Jaemin lifted you between his arms, holding your waist tightly as you looked at each other with passion, almost as if thousands of people weren't surrounding you, as if you were the only ones in the room.

Jaemin threw you in the air, your body rotating a few times before you landed in his arms again.

Your routine was filled with emotions, each movement expertly performed, the crowd bursting into cheers as the end of your song approached. You both nailed a triple axel, perfectly synchronized. Jaemin grabbed a hold of your hand, your back slowly bending as he spun your body around, forming the infamous death spiral. Adrenaline pumped through your veins as Jaemin carried you once again, arm between your thighs as he gave a final spin to end your performance. You smiled at each other, proud of your nearly excellent performance.

You skated out of the rink, grabbing a few flowers the crowd had thrown at you. Your trainers waited for you, seating in a bench where you'd receive your final score.

Jeno’s piercing gaze could easily be disguised as a normal competitor's jealousy, but deep down, he knew that wasn't it. He wanted to be the one by your side, he wanted to hold your hand just like Jaemin did. He wanted you to smile at him the way you did with your partner.

As expected, Jeno lost the bet. He was frustrated, to say the least, not only because he didn't get the highest score, but because every single reporter that interviewed the golden medal winners would ask about their relationship.

‘They’re not together.’ Jeno wanted to tell them, but he knew you could handle the situation yourself, telling the reporters you were only friends.

“Just ask her out already.” Irene sat down on a bench beside him, the silver medal hanging from her neck.

“What?”

“Jeno, everyone knows you're head over heels for her. You're not exactly discreet.”

“I really don't want to think about that now.” Irene hummed, staring at Jeno while he closed his eyes, attempting to ease his turbulent mind.

It wasn't until he heard the sound of steps coming his way that he opened them again, his orbs going wide at the sight of you.

“You did amazing today.” Well, that was unexpected.

“Are you mocking me?”

“What? No!” You were suddenly regretted trying to lift his spirits. “Your routine was amazing, Jeno.”

You called him by his name. A small laugh couldn't be helped as his face turned bright red.

“Come, I have a consolation prize for you.” You extended your hand his way, your pretty fingers making a ‘come here’ motion.

“Why are you suddenly being nice to me?” He hesitantly took your hand, letting you drag him all the way to the dressing rooms, away from the curious eyes of reporters.

You didn't answer his question, instead, locking the door behind you. He gave you a puzzled look, his thick eyebrows joining in a small frown.

“I heard you talking to Irene.” You shyly confessed, playing with the hem of your black skirt. “How old are you? 10? Why didn't you just tell me instead of acting like an ass?”

“Okay, first, I acted like an ass once, and I was twelve, what were you even expecting?” He took a step closer to you, hands almost over your waist. “And second, I thought you hated me, why would I confess to someone who clearly doesn't like me?”

“Why would you assume I hate you?”

“You don't?”

“I mean, I don't even know you that well. We've trained together for years but we've barely spoken, except for that time we slept together after drinking.” The distance between your bodies was now null, chests pressing against each other. “But I would've definitely accepted if you’d asked me out. I kinda like that bad boy vibe you give.”

A smile creeped up his lips, hands settling right above the curve of your ass.

“You said you had a consolation prize for me.” You cocked an eyebrow, noticing how the atmosphere had changed in less than a second.

“Oh, really?” Your hands teased the back of his thighs, slightly tugging at the flexible material of his pants.

“Lately I’ve been having trouble remembering that night we shared a year ago, mind helping me freshen up my memory?”

“Well maybe if you hadn’t left the morning after, you wouldn’t have to be reminded, cause it would be a daily thing.” There was a pinch of resentment in your voice as you pulled his pants down, sinking into your knees to caress his growing bulge.

“Don’t tease.” He warned, grabbing a hold of your hair and slightly pulling it back. “I was scared...” he resumed your previous conversation. “Irene and I don’t have the best chemistry, unlike you and that friend of yours, so I feared not being able to skate with her anymore, I didn’t want to lose that small spark that makes us worthy of a medal, even if it’s just silver.”

“But still, you didn’t have to leave me hungover and confused in a hotel room. That was mean.” Jeno chuckled, breath hitching as you pulled out his length from the black boxers.

“I promise to make it up to you...shit.” He groaned as you flattened your tongue against his tip, the pressure driving him insane.

“You better.” You fitted as much as you could inside your mouth, massaging the rest of it with your hands as you bobbed your head.

Jeno could feel himself growing harder inside your wet cavern, length twitching at the feeling of your tongue swirling around it.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” Slowly, his hips started moving back and forth, matching the pace of your head which was now controlled by his hand. “That’s it, I’m close.” His low grunts and moans had your core aching, clenching around nothing in an attempt to relive it. “Just a couple more hours and I’ll take you back to my apartment. I can’t wait to have that pretty cunt around me.” You whimpered, sending vibrations down his cock and causing his cum to spill inside your mouth. The salty liquid painted the back of your throat, involuntarily making you swallow it. “Come on, the reporters must be waiting for you.” With both hands below your elbows, he helped you up, pulling his pants back up before leaving the room with you following closely.

“There You are!” Jaemin spotted you, Jeno immediately running away to avoid rising any suspicions. “What were you doing in that dressing room with our enemy?” He dramatically gasped. “Am I being replaced? Hold me, I might faint.”

“Stop it, you drama queen. We were just...talking.”

“Mhm.” He grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers and shooting a glance at Jeno. His deep frown made Jaemin smile. “Oh, and y/n?” You looked at him. “Wipe that drool off your chin, darling.”

#nct smut #nct angst #nct au #nct imagines #nct ot21 #nct x reader #nct #nct 127 #nct scenarios

[txemrn]

Book: Open Heart (after book 3)

Word Count: 1456 (+/-)

Warnings: Language, angst, maternal death

A/N: You guessed it; we did another Drunken Drabbles last night (which if you ever want to play, please join us! My buddies @chemist-ana, @jstawriterbee, & @kat-tia801 joined me last night--check out their DD! They actually have smut!), and this one is brought to you be Deep Eddie's Vodka. As far as the challenge? I broke every. single. rule. First of all, I passed out before I could schedule to post this, so here I am, 2.5 hours late. Second, I didn't use the prompt. There is literally no prompt to this. Third, I'm well over 1000 word. And finally, there is no smut. Nada. Zilch. What the hell happened last night? *rubs head* Some characters and plot belong to Pixelberry. Also, no editing or pre-reading with this bad boy, so please forgive me! Enjoy! 😎

***

Depositing a dollop of hand sanitizer in her palm, newly appointed Chief of Obstetrics Dr. Tatum Erikson escorts a nurse out of a labor patient's room. “Let’s go ahead and start that amnio,” she orders as she rubs her hands together. "300 bolus followed by 80 an hour. Call me if--" the chime of her pager interrupts her. "Shit."

"Ma'am?"

Tatum rubs her temples. "Sorry--um--" she looks back at her pager. "--call me if those decels don't resolve in thirty minutes--" she begins to jog down the birthing center's corridor, heading towards the stairs to exit the unit.

She bolts down the six flights, reaching the ground level at a rapid speed. She rounds the corner, pushing past the double doors next to a large red-and-white illuminated sign: Emergency. She sees the commotion ahead and a patient being transferred from a stretcher, not responsive.

"I'm Dr. Erikson," she frantically calls out over the chaos of the room. "I was paged 911. What've we got?" As a seasoned EMT rattles off vital signs and history, Tatum instantly recognizes Karla Hogan, a patient she saw this morning at her 38-week check-up appointment.

Oh, God, no... Please no...

"...she was found unresponsive at the scene of the MVA. Asystole. CPR in process for 17 minutes--"

"Epi? We've given epi?"

"Yes--"

"Atropine?"

"Maxed."

No, no, no. This can't be happening…

"Doctor, how would you like to proceed--?"

"Put a goddamn fetal monitor on my patient," she barks, turning to a nurse nearby. "You," she points, "page OB STAT Emergency overhead. I need an OR now--"

"It won't make a difference," bellows a cold, baritone voice from the doorway of the room.

Tatum freezes, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end. She knows that hauntingly deep voice: a voice that once made her giggle incessantly during the day while he purred her name late into the night; a voice that encouraged her, comforted her, believed in her all through medical school; a voice that once laid claim to her hand and her heart--that is until that voice found her in bed with his best friend. She knows that frigid tone anywhere.

"Ramsey," she mutters.

"A postmortem c-section?" He condescendingly questions, strolling confidently into the room. "She's been down for how long--?"

"But, if these chest compressions have been adequate, there's a chance--"

"She was gone before they even started--" he nonchalantly interjects as he begins testing the patient's reflexes.

"Doctor Ramsey," she chides before being abruptly interrupted by a trauma nurse.

"Dr. Erikson, I think I hear a heartbeat, but it's low and slow." Tatum nervously nods, taking a few deep breaths.

"That's good enough for me," she kindly thanks the nurse. "Alright, team," she boldly orders, "Let's get her ready for a cesarean." She turns to a nearby technician. "Where the hell is my OB team?"

"They've been paged--"

"Page them again," orders Tatum.

"But, doctor--"

"Page them again," Tatum's tone becomes more stern as she starts grabbing surgical materials. Slipping on a scrub hat, she turns to look into a pair of familiar, crystal blue eyes. "When's the last time you did surgery, Ramsey?"

The tall provider sardonically chuckles. "It's been a while," he crosses his arms, "but, it's not happening right now--"

Tatum scoffs. "Let's get her prepped people. Move!"

"Dr. Erikson," Ethan hollers, a warning in his tone. "You will not be performing this--"

"Watch me." Tatum fervently assists the nurses and technicians in positioning the gravid body. "If you've got a problem, take it up with the chief. This is my call--"

"Already have," Ethan snidely rebuttals, "and it's my call." Tatum stops applying her surgical mask, slowly turning her attention to his towering frame. Her wide eyes slowly trace down from his face to the embroidery of his white coat: Dr. Ethan J. Ramsey, Chief of Medicine.

Tatum blinks her lashes in confusion. "Where's Dr. Banerji?"

"Not here," Ethan smirks, raising an eyebrow. "Now will you be reasonable?"

"Reasonable?" She feels the anger burning inside her as she fights back the stinging pain of tears. Her eyes glisten with earnest pleading. "Ethan," she beckons under her breath, "We could save a life."

Ethan runs his hand over his face, allowing his fingers to rest against his chin. "Tatum, I--"

"Please. Do this," she swallows deeply, her voice reducing to a whisper, "for me?" Ethan's gaze fixes on his former love, a flash of memories flood before his eyes leaving the pair in a palpable stillness.

"Nurse," he calls out from over his shoulder, "I need a size eight glove."

***

"You want me to--"

"I can do it."

Ethan and Tatum walk in silence to the waiting room to retrieve Karla Hogan's husband. Recognizing him instantly, Tatum invites him to follow him to a more private room to talk.

"Just--just say it, Dr. Erikson." Tatum stuns in her steps, slowly turning to face the tearful husband and father-to-be. "Please don't make me take one more step, one more second not knowing that the love of my life--that she, my Karla--" his voice falls into sobs.

"We--we did everything--" Tatum's voice runs hoarse as tears drip from her cheeks. She clears her throat. "Mr. Hogan, I--I--" A sudden tunnel of darkness clouds around her head, the room falling silent. She feels her heart begin to panic, thundering in her chest as her breathing becomes more shallow. She's had this difficult discussion before with family members; but death in the maternity ward is never something one should get used to.

Suddenly, Ethan gently puts a hand on Tatum's shoulder, a comforting touch that always brought her back to reality. She takes a few deep breaths, looking up at him. He gives a curt nod as he squeezes her shoulder, stepping forward to talk.

"Mr. Hogan, we did everything we could…"

Tatum slips off her scrub cap, letting platinum blonde wisps cascade down her face. All she can picture in her head is Karla, how she was full of hope this morning‐‐they both were. And in the blink of an eye

"... but thanks to this skillful doctor right here," Tatum is pulled from her thoughts by Ethan's words as he points to her. "--your newborn baby girl is waiting for you, recovering in our Neonatal Intensive Care Unit."

***

After leading the emotional father up to meet his daughter, Tatum turns on her heel, making her way back to her laboring patients in the birthing center. But, before she exits the NICU, she discovers Ethan finishing a conversation with one of the neonatologists. Their eyes meet.

“Proud of you today, Tate,” Ethan offers a crooked smile.

Tatum dramatically steps closer to Ethan, crossing her arms as she raises an eyebrow. “Pardon me,” she lifts a hand up to cup her ears, “but did you just say, ‘You were right, Tatum; I was wrong’?”

Ethan pinches between his eyes while his other hand rests on his hip. “I’m never wrong--”

“Today you were--” she jovial pokes at him.

“You got lucky--”

“And you’re still bitter--”

“‘Bitter’?” Ethan scoffs, “of you--?”

“That someone’s medical intuition rivals your own--”

“Dare to dream, Dr. Erikson, but we both know exactly what your intuition is capable of--” The moment the words left his lips, a painful apologetic look plagues Ethan’s eyes as he watches the stunned hurt flash across hers. A thick silence floods between them, both of them unsure how to recover from such a low-blow of a remark. Tatum stares at the floor, unsure if she should just walk away.

“Tatum, I--” she shakes her head, waving her arm to dismiss the inevitable apology. She just wasn’t sure when she would stop paying for the sins of her past.

“So,” she tries to change subjects as a mischievous grin grows across her face. "I missed the memo. You're my boss."

"I'm your boss," he chuckles, crossing his arms.

"Hrmmm," Tatum raises her eyebrows, turning towards the door as a silence falls between them, again. She motions for the automatic door to open.

"Hrmmm what?" Ethan questions, turning towards her as the doors slowly open.

"Oh, I was just thinking," she lowers her voice, placing her hand on his arm. Ethan bites his lower lip as his cheeks begin to flush. His eyes flutter down to her lips before drifting back to her gaze. He swallows thickly.

"A-About what?" His tone matches hers.

She giggles letting go of his arm. She makes her way through the automatic doors and back en route to her department. But, not before she calls out over shoulder in a dark, sensually husky voice: "It wouldn't be the first time--" she twirls on her heel to look at him one more time, giving him a wink and a knowing smile, "--sir."

***

@chemist-ana @charlotteg234 @choiceskatie @forallthatitsworth @irisofpurple @kat-tia801 @khoicesbyk @lovelyladyk88 @lucy-268 @neotericthemis @phoenixrising308 @sfb123 @shannonwrote @shewillreadyou @taniasethi @thefrenchiemama

#open heart #ethan ramsey #open heart fanfiction #ethan ramsey fanfiction #pixelberry #choices OH #choices OPH #drunken drabbles

[shelby-love]

HANK VOIGHT

Dating the Big Boss.

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warning(s): mentions of r*pe and p*dophilia (it's a tough case)

Author's note: I had a lot of fun writing this one. Especially since everyone is a lot older so I could play with maturity a little. Hope you enjoyed and sorry for the long wait! I'm just starting to get back to writing.

~

"What's up with him?" Erin whispered when she saw Voight barge into the unit's personal quarters. Hank didn't look at any of them as he strode into his office with a frown on his face.

He was angry, that's for sure.

Still hot on his tail, your senior detective self arrived right on que with him. Every pair of eyes was on you, knowing that you were the only one who had magic to calm him. You waved your hands, dismissing their burning questions all at once. You just crossed your fingers for them all to see and walked into your lover's office without knocking.

"Hank let's talk about this," You approached him carefully.

"There's nothing to talk about here Y/N."

"Yes, there is." You sat at the edge of his desk casually, although your heart was still racing upon hearing the news delivered to you this morning. "We have a serial rapist and pedophile out there. It's okay to be affected by it honey."

"Well I don't have any leads on this case," He told you strictly, although the anxiety was visible on his shoulders. He had his back turned to you and face focused on the city in front of him. The wheels turning and working in his brain were practically visible for the whole world to see.

"Then maybe we should look into our contacts and see who can help us," You proposed quietly. "This is far from over Hank. We can still turn this around."

You could see him nod, which instantly calmed you down. "Come here."

He, as surprising as it may sound, listened to your words, and walked over to your arms.

He placed his rough hands on your thighs while you ran your hands over his arms soothingly. Eventually your cold hands grasped his face as you gave him a soft look, "Do you want me to brief the team?"

"Thank you," You giggled, still not used to those words leaving his mouth.

The two of you shared a kiss before you left him alone with his thoughts to brief the team. Upon joining them you felt tension rise again, it made you remember what you were meant to do at that moment. "Is he alright?" Erin asked you quietly. You only managed to nod your head before ushering her to her seat.

Then you took a stand in front of them, a file filled with gore pictures secure in your hand. "A few days ago we found a female that was beaten, raped and murdered just outside the Riverwalk area. She was found in a dumpster just outside the Belle Hotel. Roughly 9 years old and unfortunately not the only case."

You spoke with authority that matched Voight's to a certain level. As a senior to all of them it was your job to deliver the details loud and clear. "There have been a few more cases similar to this one. Brody Thompson declared as missing just over a week ago was found two days ago in an area like this one. His left pinky was cut of just like the first victim's..." You placed a picture of a little boy on the board.

"Same MO?" Erin asked, scribbling things vigorously into her notepad. You nodded sadly.

"Are all of the victims children?" Burgess asked from the other side of the room. When you bobbed your head to her in confirmation you could practically see the heartbreak that struck her.

"We believe that we're dealing with a serial rapist and pedophile." You sighed.

"The MO is unique, and it doesn't look like he's been very careful with where he dumps the bodies," Jay notes. "It should be easy to find him since he's bound to make a mistake."

"That's where it gets tricky," You tell him, appreciating his quickness in noticing the details. "These are only cases reported in Chicago within the last few weeks. If we expand the search, which we did, there are dozens of other reported cases all around Ohio, Virginia, Rhode Island and lastly… New York."

A cool cloak of silence fell over the room once you've finished marking the spots. "Some date back to 10 years so we're looking for someone in his early to mid-forties. Maybe even older. Virginia State Police was only able to give us cases within the last 5 years, and we've hit four matches so far."

"Why are they handing the case to us? NYPD should be able to handle this." It was Alvin who had asked that question to which you opened your mouth to answer immediately.

But Hank, your boyfriend and partner, was quicker.

"Because we're the most qualified to do it," He explained, voice booming across the room. He joined your side and placed his hand on your hip; it was that after all, only the members of this very unit knew about you two. "Now, I've pulled out some old contacts from New York. They should be arriving here on the first jet they get their hands on. Until then I want you guys everywhere."

When his gaze slid to yours a twinkle of determination shone within his irises, "Let's get this son of a bitch."

***

"Sargent Benson," you greet the woman that just descended the stairs of the jet. The only people on the tarmac are the two of you and the officers you brought here. "Thank you for coming on a such short notice."

"Voight sounded stressed when he called. Is he alright?" She asked you quietly, matching your footing and walking toward the black SUV next to you.

You shook your head, "This case has been really hard on us is all. It's not every day we have cases like this one."

"Well, our job isn't pretty." She agreed. "Rape cases are already hard on their own."

"But when it's kids…"

"Do you have kids, detective?"

"None that are my own."

"Then I guess you're lucky."

"I suppose so."

***

The drive back to the district wasn't all that comfortable. Benson carried an air of importance around her that would get some rookies sweating with nerves.

Decades in this line of work showed just how good of a match you were for her.

"Hey Trudy," You greeted your friend in passing. Benson was hot on your heels as you lead her upstairs.

Upon reaching your destination you felt her walk straight pass you into Hank's arms. She brushed her hand against the lapels of his jackets when she asked him how he was doing. You felt your chest rise with jealousy but that diminished quickly when you saw him lead her to his office.

"You're not seeing that?"

"Seeing what Jay?"

The younger man narrowed his eyes at you, "She's obviously into him."

You sent him a glare. "We're not kids Jay, we're adults that lived long enough to see what's worthy being petty about and what's not."

"If you say so."

You rolled your eyes, but still went to retrieve your man, nevertheless.

***

You knocked twice before Voight let you in. "Sorry detective, this is a private conversation."

It was Benson who had told you this. You fought an eyebrow that wanted to rise.

"Y/N runs this unit as much as I do," Your boyfriend interfered. "She can stay."

You smiled, that not being able to suppress. "What do you have?"

"A possible location," She told you, still eerie about you being there.

You perked your eyes at that, taking your usual seat in Voight's office. Hank came to stand behind your chair, hands on the back of it. Olivia eyed you quietly and came to retrieve some papers. With her back turned to you both you turned your head, eyes travelling to Voight. Silently, you asked about what was going on. He only shook his head and pressed his hand against your shoulder, rubbing it in comfort.

Olivia saw the interaction and raised her brow.

***

You held your M16 in your hands securely. Officers were bustling all around you, greeting you in passing. The house in front of you looked like a fortress having god knows what protecting it. "We don't go in by force. There are still kids inside."

While the members of your unit nodded in agreement, a few voiced their distaste.

"We go in now. Cut off his ability to retaliate."

"I understand Olivia, but-"

"Sergeant."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm your sergeant. Let's keep it that way."

You gritted your teeth, seemingly offended by the fact that she had used the chain of command to put you in your place.

"My sergeant is Voight. I answer only to him," You corrected her. "I just want those kids to come out of there alive, and that's not going to be possible if we barge in. He'll panic. Kill them instantly."

"Why don't you go in then?" She proposed. "Scope and give us inside information so we can work our way around it. You find the kids and let us do the rest."

You thought about it. "I need –"

"Nothing." Your sergeant appeared by your side, eyes hard and body as still as a rock. Unlike Benson, you could see his anger. You almost reached out to calm him. "You're not doing it."

"This could be our shot." You told him.

He only shook his head, "Trust me it's not. A word, sergeant?"

She nodded and followed him.

You watched as the distance became bigger.

Jay and Adam came to stand next to you, Adam at your right side and Jay at your left.

"Holy hell." Adam muttered.

"She almost got you killed." Jay commented after him.

"Holy hell indeed guys."

***

"Hank I'm trying to do right by these kids!"

"The hell you are," Hank outright yelled at her. As the only person at the scene that had guts to stand up to her, he took the chance to put her in her place. "The way I see it you want Y/N in direct danger with no back up."

She stayed silent.

"You don't get to boss around my unit. Especially not my most trusted detective."

"Oh, come on Hank." She sighed, not quite believing what she was hearing.

"You're here to assist. The case is still mine so don't get ahead of yourself."

And with that, he left her to be.

"We're waiting for him. SWAT is on standby."

You smiled gratefully at him before mouthing a thank you.

***

"You did great today," You complimented him, smiling from ear to ear. All the children that went missing within the last few weeks have been found alive. Wounded yes, but alive. And the man was, much to your satisfaction, shot dead when he tried to run. By none other than yourself. Being able to put down a monster like him brought you satisfaction.

It brought Hank pride too.

He pulled you in by the hip and rested your back against the wall. Chicago was lightly lit up outside, bringing peaceful atmosphere to the district. Your fingers brushed against his rigid jawline; eyes locked with his.

Kisses between you two were shared ever so often at work. While you would both usually leave to the privacy of your home, today was a day you both needed reassurances immediately.

Your lips were pressed together and moving in a way possible for only people with experience.

When someone opened the door without knocking, you pushed him away in fright. Hank didn't even stumble as he narrowed his eyes at the person who had intruded.

"Sergeant Benson?!" You shrieked, cheeks flushing a bright red.

"It all makes sense now." She mused.

MASTERLIST

#hank voight #hank voight fanfiction #hank voight imagine #hank voight imagines #hank voight x reader #chicago #Chicago PD #chicago pd fanfiction #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd x reader

[highstwildflower]

Still into you

A/n: idk where this idea came from but all of a sudden it was inspired by still into you by paramore - also proposal warning and fluff😂

The cool wood met your feet as you walked around your home, tidying up the dirty house that was a result of a stressful period. Both you and Luke getting lost in the whirlwind of life, in between work, social gatherings and responsibilities there hasn’t been a lot of time for neither your relationship nor taking care of the home you had build together.

The slow Saturday morning that had met your eyes as you woke up next to Luke for the first time in weeks had set your domestic inspiration on fire. The counters were cleaner than ever before, the floor shined like a million stars and no clutter were to be spotted. As your home came together your mind wandered off. Luke was hidden somewhere in the house desperately trying to finish the latest track so he could spend some time with you. He knew the last couple of weeks had been hard on each of you and possibly even harder on your relationship, he wanted to make it up to you and take you out, somehow work still took up some of his day, much more than he had expected.

Around 5 pm you stared at your phone, you had waited for Luke to walk out of his office. Closing the door behind him and diving into mending your relationship, instead you had been left to yourself once again. Annoyed you made your way to the kitchen, getting ready to make dinner for the two of you. The slight anger you had felt started to fade away as you heard the loud muffling and grunts of frustration conning from your boyfriend. You were so proud of him and everything he had accomplished, sometimes it was hard to remember that he didn't ignore your existence on purposes, he was just really stressed and pressed. As you remembered this you felt happy that you were allowed to be there for him. Even on the lowest nights you were still into him.

Placing dinner down you shuffled your music before heading off to his office. Politely you knocked on the door before cracking it open, he looked over his shoulder before turning all the way around. A smile was on his face as he saw you standing there "hi baby" his voice was soft and all frustration was left somewhere else "hi Lu, dinner is ready." His tall body stood and he took you into a hug, hasty lips pressing a kiss to the top of you head. Dinner was eaten with a genuine conversation flowing between the two of you, almost as if time has stood still. Every time your eyes look into his while he was laughing you heart skipped a beat and the rest of the world became irrelevant.

Hours later you were in bed, head resting against Luke for what felt like the first time in years. Butterflies erupted as he leaned closer and whisper "I love you, my pretty girl" the smile that took over your features made your cheeks hurt, content your lurked back "and I love you."

You both laid there in silence until Luke tucked you further into his side "I wondered, do you have time to give me your whole day tomorrow" peaking your interest you lifted your head and faced him, eyes searching for his. With a confused look you nodded slightly hesitant.

You were awoken by his lips kissing all over your body, hands cupping every curve as if he had forgotten the body he has roamed for so many years. A strained moan slipped from your lips "Good. Morning. Baby" each word was punctuated with a kiss, you giggles before slinging an arm around him, forcing his lips to meet yours "morning handsome." He took his sweet time allowing your both to wake up in a gentle way. After getting ready he took you out for breakfast, the car ride was filled with your favorite songs, and on the way to your second location he played Our Song by Taylor Swift, and he loved how you got so into it. The out of pitch voice that belonged to you made his heart sing, and your little dance that went with the song made him beam with pride of calling you his.

Arriving at the second location, it finally made sense to you why he had told you to wear athletic clothes. You were at the spot where you had had your first date together. A nice tracking trail that led you around a lake, where you both enjoyed to take a nice cooling dip. Today was no different, as you reached the usual spot you raced each other, Luke being the first to reach the water with his long leg. He disappeared into the water and you followed closely. A high pitched sound left your lips as he sneaked closer to you, tossing you into the deep blue. Ready with perked lips as you emerged from the water. The day was filled with love and laughter, everything you needed. Hands were intertwined as your reached the car, he opened the door for you and gave you a kiss before driving you home.

A few hours later you were ready to leave the house again, this time dressed fancier as Luke had asked you to do. He took you to a rooftop restaurant, no one was there but the two of you. Luke was romantic but never like this, and you appreciated that he put in the work. Through dinner laughters was shared and deeper thoughts, wishes and dreams and future hopes were tossed across the table. Leaving you both with butterflies catching on fire. You melted as he looked as you, his icy blue eyes so warm that they burned with love. As dinner was finished he took you for a walk at the beach. You loved the beach. Hand in hand as you shared life, the small gesture making your both feel better. The loud crashing sound of the waves reminded you of how strong your relationship is, as you had overcome all the doubt of the world.  Your walk came to a halt as you reached Luke's destination, in front of you were a scene straight out of a movie. Blankets scattered on the sand, fairy lights lighting up the dim scene. Luke pulled you onto the blankets, hands resting on your hip as you stood face to face. The lukewarm air suddenly was filled with the tones of your song "still into you". Luke sang the song while holding you close, your arms wrapped around his neck. Tears evident in your eyes, and his as well.

The song came to an end and Luke kneeled in front of you, a gasp left your lips before your hands were clasped over it. Luke chuckled and took a shaky breath " wow can't believe I'm doing this" he laughed again and you joined in "me neither" your eyes met before he continued " baby, we've been together for years, and it’s real life so there has been ups and downs, but even on the worst nights I'm still into you. Even when we are screaming at each other with tears and snot running down our faces I'm into you. There is nothing that could take me away from you. You are my sun and my moon. Everything in one person. My happiness and my future. So dear y/f/n would you do me the honor of marrying me?" You were full on sobbing at this point, hands shaking and knees weak. You recalled the talk you had with your mother after the first date "he is the one mom" and the first time you met his mom and accidentally heard him say "she is the one mom" and now here you were, he was on his knee, and you were ready to scream yes from the top of your lungs. "Yes, god yes Luke" relief flashed on his beautiful face before he pulled you into a kiss that meant so much more than any words ever could. The beautiful ring was slipped onto your finger and just like that you were tied together forever.

#5sos #fanfiction #luke hemmings #5sos calm #5sos fandom #5sosfic #ashton irwin #calum hood #fiction #5sos fanfic #proposal #imagines 5sos #imagine #5sos preferences #preference #oneshot #lierrra #5sos luke #luke x you #luke x reader #5sos x y/n #pls read it lmao #writing

[sanstropfremir]

Have you seen SF9’s new comeback from today yet? As a kingdom watcher, my two takeaways were:

- They’re never going to let the male Venus reference die like it should

- I am waiting with bated breath for the live stages because Taeyang is going to destroy us all and it will be excellent

i waited until there where some live stages before answering this because i wanted to see what the deal was with the chair choreo and all i can say is we got chairbaited SO hard i am SO disappointed!!!

ok i'm not actually disappointed by the whole comeback, but the lack of extensive chair choreo is my biggest complaint, so might as well start off with that. my other complaint is that i don't like how zuho constantly fucks up the rhythm of the song i've never liked it and i agree they gotta take that line to a farm upstate posthaste. hanya's going to try and snipe me for that opinion but i'm standing by it.

in general i really like this comeback; sf9 has been really out for blood since the end of kingdom and it has been so satisfying to watch. i'm really happy to see them take my advice (i know they didn't actually because there's no way anyone important is reading my blog) and not let their disappointing kingdom finish bring them down, because the revenge of teardrop and trauma have been one of my fave underdog stories this year. personally i like teardrop more because i like the song better and the mv is one the best of 2021, there are still a lot of good things about trauma and i'm having a blast watching the stages.

firstly, there's a lot of really quality pieces in the styling, and the method is less 'same but different matching boy band' and more 'statement pieces that all fit together' which is very reminiscent of their stealer stage styling. i don't think this observation will ultimately hold true depending on how many music show performances they do, but pulling purely from the mv and the three (four?) stages we've seen so far, there's been some really good singular garments. jaeyoon's cardigan, hwiyoung's cowhide jacket, taeyang's zippered trench and studded pants, inseong's leather jacket from the inkigayo stage yesterday, youngbin's sneaky crop top; these are all really good statement pieces and i personally prefer this type of styling than a more traditional uniform boy band look, which is what teardrop dipped a little bit more into. sf9 is probably one of the hardest groups to style because 1) these are some big n tall boys, and 2) they've settled into a particular niche that doesn't allow a huge amount of flexibility in terms of cuts; they're kinda stuck to 'traditionally masculine' garments. it would be nice to see them branch back out into something more experimental like rpm, but i don't know how many comebacks they have left as a full group before the enlistment wave hits.

another thing i found interesting in the mv is the amount of animal imagery. there's several instances of peacocks (beind the bar and in the restaurant area, the mirror in zuho's scene), plus all the animal print (cowhide, black leopard, zebra, snake, plus the feathers, the fur coat, the birdcages, and inseong's jacket in the hallway has a very similar pattern to chinchilla fur). the hides of all these animals are associated with the production of furniture and clothing, and since many of them are not native to sk (or the west), they are also associated with captivity, as captive is the only way that some of us have seen these creatures. it's a nice nod feelings of captivity within the lyrics.

another fun bit from the set design that i want to point out is the hydrangeas:

blue hydrangeas are generally associated with apology in the east, but interestingly hydrangeas in general in victorian floriography mean vanity, boastfulness, heartlessness, and dispassion, as well as the phrase 'you are cold'. i doubt the latter meanings were intentional, but they do fit the theme. also, hydrangeas require the soil to be very acidic in order for the colour to change to blue, and their leaves have low levels of cyanide.

as for the choreo, i'm bitter about them not using the chairs the whole time because when they do use the chairs it's so good. those opening images with the chairs overturned on the floor and then being lifted up? phenomenal. and then bringing them back only to pantomime fucking them? incredible choices. i love that they barely use the chairs as actual chairs. i want more. i'm more ambivalent on the non-chair choreo, obviously it's sexy and i'm very here for all the centre jaeyoon moments, but there are also a few choices that i don't love. at points it's a little bit too literal, and it feels a bit like the choreographic transitions don't match the line distribution as well as it could. it's not that big of an issue in the grand scheme of things, really the biggest flaw is that they put rowoon right next to taeyang for the chorus, and that makes it supremely obvious who is the better dancer. i rarely notice rowoon unless he's got lines in other sf9 stages because they (rightfully) tend to keep him out of the front for dance, but i don't know why they did this to him this time. one of the first stages i watched he was late on one of the moves and now it's all i notice.

final verdict: good song, good comeback, good way for sf9 to round out the year that started off not so great for them.

#kpop questions #sf9 #sf9 w #all i gotta say is that if you wanna call yourself the male version of venus your tiddies gotta be out. sorry its non negotiable #if i dont see you standing on a giant seashell then what is the POINT #also LOVE the chair/furniture set they use for most of the performance mv. dont have anything smart to say about it i just think its neat #text #answers #actually im not sure who the hardest hardest group to style would be just from body type alone #obvs its actualy very easy to style all of these boys bc theyre all in perfect shape and have the skinny fashion advantage #but groups with the widest body diversity will require more thought than just slapping on whatever's trendy #sf9 yes #oneus definitely. they've already gotta contend with the height difference with hwanwoong but theyve also got #three other distinct body shapes: ravn leedo + keonhee #vixx also yes. especially because they were so skinny and leggy for so long #e'last also because there's like 9 of them and choi in is literally child sized #tbz is probably just a pain because there's just too many of them #oh EXO FOR SURE. especially at debut. heights all over the map on those boys #hmmm there's less than i thought. but also i shouldnt be surprised because there really isnt any body diversity in kpop lmao #this is me wishing that kpop stylists knew how to work with silhouettes #i know its futile but i can dream #kibum was the only person who delivered on the silhouette front im gonna have to ride high off bad love for a while

[littoraly-art]

😌 💕 i feel so loved, thank youu

and might I say, you have a Very Big Brain

also 👉👈 Im sorry for the weird ask format bc uh somehow I deleted the original draft but was able to screenshot the ask bc.. long story, ANYWAYS

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A/N: this will be slightly divergent from my previous baby!Lamb fics. (But only because I briefly mentioned Geralt in my last one)

A/N 2.0: im gonna start doing page breaks for my fics bc it'll be easier organization

• General

• Fluff

• Lambert, Eskel, and Geralt

• Wolf Pup Shenanigans

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The first inkling of Eskel's suspicions started with when he set about making Lambert's new poppet.

He was seated on the low wall–the one that bordered the vegetable garden–and were basking in the warmth of the sun that gently tickled their skin. They'd been given an afternoon of free play and Lambert, for one, liked watching for birds so that he could scare them off with lots of yelling, accompanied by the brandishing of a stick. He said it was much more fun than dealing with the other students and definitely much more fun than sitting in the library with Vesemir.

Eskel couldn't blame him.

The older boy was balanced on the wall with his legs tucked into a neat criss-crossed position so that all of his materials could sit in his lap as he worked. He really didn't mind accompanying Lambert out there because he could sew just as well out there as he could anywhere else. Plus, it was fun to listen to the other wolf chatter on about his day.

Said redhead was walking himself along the wall, balancing and doing little pirouettes every so often. And, every so often, Eskel would pipe up, "wrong," causing Lambert to freeze before righting his footing. Oh, and sticking his tongue out at the older boy.

"Can you give the poppet hair?"

Eskel lifted his eyes to watch as Lambert spun yet again before the other boy jumped down and snatched up his stick from where it was laying on the ground.

"Hair? Like.."

"Like the ones in the shops down in Ard Carraigh," Lambert chirped in response, remembering back to the city he'd only ever been through once. He flashed a grin at Eskel as he climbed back up onto the low wall, now with mock sword in hand.

"You know you're not supposed to practice your drills alone."

There was a dramatic sigh and a roll of Lambert's eyes as he began smacking, along the wall with his stick, instead. "So.. Can you give it hair?"

"I.. sure?" Eskel tipped his head to the side in brief consideration and then dropped his eyes back to the item in his hands, returning to his sewing. Watching as the needle swam in and out of the soft linen fabric. Pricking his finger every so often as his tongue lightly poked out between his teeth. "..What color? Red, like yours?" Not that he knew where he'd find that color. They didn't have any dyed yarn that he was allowed to use, that he knew of.

"No. White."

Eskel paused as he lifted his eyes back to watch his friend as the younger boy was now trying to whack the stick against the heavy bough of the half dead tree that stood, gnarled, on the other side of the wall.

"White?"

"Yeah, I want it to be white."

Eskel regarded the other curiously with a tiny little smile before looking back down at his project, yet again. "I don't think we have any white yarn. How about grey or brown?"

Lambert halted in thought, holding his stick above his head with both hands. It only took a moment's consideration before he nodded lightly. "Grey works."

- -

The second instance, that Eskel stumbled upon, seemed to only confirm his suspicions.

Lambert was perched on a rickety bench that sat to the side of the training yard and he was watching raptly as one of older mentors was running Eskel's peer group through a drill that incorporated Aard. Eskel was stood off to the side to observe since he was the most adept at Signs than the rest of his peers. This allowed him to help call out mistakes, when need. And, at the moment, it allowed him the opportunity to look over and see that Lambert was zoned in on one student in particular.

Geralt.

The white haired boy was a mischievous, headstrong thing who had quite the aptitude for the graceful maneuvers of the Wolf School. His chin length, slightly curly hair was held back with a simple brown headband and the item effectively kept his hair out of his face as he twisted about in the drilled sequence.

Lambert had his knees tucked against his chest, arms wrapped 'round them and his chin settled softly on top as he studied the scene in front of him. His wide eyes followed every single movement as he murmured the names of each maneuver, under his breath.

As Eskel was called back into the group, he made a mental note to give the poppet a headband along with the white hair, and he grinned to himself.

Leave it to Geralt to inspire such dazzled eyes and intent focus.

-

Lambert had really come down to the training yard so that he could grab Eskel once he was done for the day. He had a whole list of things he wanted to do before dinner and he absolutely needed Eskel to join him in his plans. It wasn't fun to get up to trouble alone, after all.

He however realized that, as he sat to wait for Eskel, he could just as happily take that time to watch Geralt.

Geralt was the best.

He was strong and fast and funny and stubborn and so very sure of himself and goodness! Just everything that Lambert could ever dream of being.

But, he had never interacted with him before. Oh, no, no. Lambert couldn't risk that. What if Geralt thought he was dumb like the other boys did? What if he thought it was weird that Lambert looked up to him as a role model? He could not risk that.

He wouldn't know what to do if that happened.

So, there he sat, for the entire session. He sat, quiet and respectful, not interrupting so that he wouldn't be asked to leave. (Which definitely had never ever happened before..)

At the end, when all the equipment was being packed up and put away, Lambert jumped up from his spot and began making his way across the yard. He clasped his hands behind him and took steps that had a subtle little skip to them, running over his list of plans in his head.

That was when he froze, though. He watched, while holding his breath, as Geralt slung his arm around Eskel's neck and the two older boys laughed together about.. well, something. Lambert's eyes were as wide as could be and he brought his hands in front of himself to fidget as he took a couple steps back.

Oh.

The conversation between the two continued on before Eskel spotted Lambert, giving him an easy grin. He then, to Lambert's horror, began to guide Geralt over, arm around his friend's middle as they still chattered.

Once it was confirmed that they were definitely headed towards him, Lambert spooked. He was not ready to meet Geralt. Not like this.

He had an utterly embarrassed expression on his face and fidgeted with his hands more before twisting on his heel and taking off.

Not today.

--

"Lamb?"

Eskel knocked on the door that was already partially open but then he stuck his head into the room, where he spotted a large lump underneath the blanket that was draped over the far bed. The older boy smiled lightly and then slipped inside the room, gently closing the door behind him.

"Are you asleep?"

"Mm.."

"Did I just wake you?"

"..No." The voice that came after a little groan, and the sound of a yawn, said otherwise and Eskel's smile widened.

"Okay, well, sit up because I have something for you," Eskel hummed and then climbed onto the bed, holding the finished poppet in his lap. "'t's gonna to be dinner time soon anyways."

A fiery mop of curls revealed itself from under the covers and Lambert sat up fully, turning to Eskel with a tilt to his head. Questioning. Until he saw tha finished poppet, that is.

"It's done!"

"Yep. Here you go," He laughed as he handed it over. "And it looks enough like Geralt, don't you think?"

Lambert held it at arm's length with a grin before frowning quickly and furrowing his little brows. "It's not.. that's not why–"

"Well, sure it is," Eskel laughed again, good naturedly and then shifted so that he could flop onto his back, laying next to Lambert. "I can see how much you look up to him."

"That's not.."

"Nothing wrong with it, Lamb."

Lambert eyed him for a long moment and then dropped onto his back as well, so that they could lay shoulder to shoulder, as he hugged the poppet to his chest.

"..Do you like it?"

"Yeah, you did a good job," Lambert mumbled and then nudged his elbow into Eskel's side. "Thanks."

They fell into a comfortable silence as they both stared up at the ceiling, where hewn timbers ran from one side to the other. Eskel could practically feel Lambert thinking so he left him to that, knowing the other boy would speak up eventually.

And sure enough, he did.

"You're friends with him?"

"Who?"

He knew who.

"You know who."

"Who?"

"Geralt.." Lambert huffed and whined in annoyance as he kicked his foot against Eskel's leg.

"Oh.. him," Eskel stressed, teasing his friend and earning himself another light kick. "Yeah. I am. We've been friend since before me an' you were friends."

That made Lambert sit up with another huff, this one sounding particularly offended. "What? And you never told me?" He complained loudly.

"I didn't know you wanted to know..!" Eskel responded, laughing as he shook his head. "And how did you not know? We always do stuff together."

"Well–" Lambert frowned and then shoved Eskel's knees that were in a bent position, with his feet flat on the mattress. "I just didn't know!"

"Alright, alright."

Another bout of silence settled and Eskel was grinning to himself as Lambert stared down at his poppet with a look of intense focus. He draped an arm over his face so that his elbow covered his mouth; he really was trying to stop himself from laughing.

"Can I meet him?" The younger trainee said quietly, playing with the arms of the doll.

"Yeah. Go ahead. I think he's probably already down, ready for dinner."

"No!" The redhead shook his head and gave a pout as he looked up and hugged the poppet back against his chest. "You have to introduce me to him."

Eskel quirked a brow and then gave a laugh–one that he quickly apologized for when Lambert whined in offense. "Why?"

"Because.. Because I dunno what I would say," He explained in embarrassment, looking down and Eskel found himself making a sympathetic noise.

"He's just another kid like us. Just say hi."

"No.." He whined more insistently and shook his head. "You have to do it. Please, please, please? Esk, pleeeease?" He pouted more after drawing out the 'long e' sound.

"Ugh, come on." Eskel clambered off the bed and then stood up, snagging his fingers around Lambert's arm.

‐

"Geralt?" Eskel reached out to tap his friend's shoulder, and showed a sunshiny smile immediately as the other boy twisted around on the bench.

"What.. do you need?" He said slowly as he eyed Lambert–who was clutching onto Eskel's hand and partially hiding himself, eyes huge and round once again–curiously with a slight laugh.

"Lamb here wanted to meet you but wasn't sure what to say because he's embarrassed and shy," Eskel explained, to which Lambert immediately argued,

"What? Why would you tell him that? Prick!"

Geralt grinned and pushed himself to his feet as his hands settled on his hips. "He doesn't sound shy."

"Yeah! M'not!" There was a roll of eyes and huff from the youngest of the three as he let go of Eskel's hand. He folded his arms and stomped a foot.

Eskel had a proud smile on his face, having known that that would successfully crack Lambert out of his shell. The redhead was always quick to argue with things like that.

"So, Lamb?"

"Lambert." Said boy lifted his chin in a stubborn way, after correcting the nickname, and sticking out his hand for a handshake.

Geralt and Eskel smiled even more as they exchanged glances.

"Nice to meet you, Lambert," Geralt hummed and clasped the other boy's smaller hand and tilted his head to the side as he laughed. "Want to sit next to me during dinner?"

As his hand was dropped and that invitation extended, Lambert glanced over to Eskel with another wide eyed expression. Eskel simply shrugged with a big smile as he walked away to find his own spot.

He then looked back to Geralt who was gesturing to the bench with a raised brow and Lambert straightened himself up more, eyes bright.

"Would I ever !"

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@persony-pepper @lovelyeskel

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[jamestrmtx]

Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Twenty | Ooo (Part 1 of 2)

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

Alternate Chapter Title: Before the Clock Strikes Midnight

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Knock-knock.

However common, the sound makes you jolt. You stop everything you're doing to check on your schedule, needing to consult with it first to better establish yourself into reality. It takes a few pages and some seconds of reading for you to determine you don't expect any visitors today.

Knock-knock.

"One moment," you shout; stress spikes as you fail to wrap things up quicker, having to bring the stew into a boil before turning it off.

You're not sure what to anticipate from the one waiting at the door, nor why it's worrying your thoughts as much as it is. A knock was nothing to be afraid of, as wasn't receiving a surprise visit if you were to consider how tidy your home was and how up-to-date you were with your responsibilities. Regardless, the sound of the door opening sends all meditating techniques aside and panic replaces your search for serenity and reasoning. You rush off to the living room and get ready to face whoever's there, though not without letting that alert state show through your posture and the way you hold on tight to the knife you used for cutting the vegetables.

"Who's-"

Warmth leaves your body the second you see who the person is; the knife almost falls, yet the visitor rescues it by its handle and gives it back to you afterwards. Your offensive stance vanishes and you find yourself incapable of storing the weapon away without making yourself seem like an anxious mess. The man stares at you throughout -- making matters worse, no doubt.

"G- God, I'm sorry!" you blurt out, frowning. "I thought you were-"

"I've had worse welcomes into strangers' homes," Bubbles says, remaining unfazed. "Though that still doesn't excuse the… oddity of your actions." He greets Frisk -- now closing the door of the living room -- with a nod and a smile. He then takes a small step forward and closer to you, cornering you in place without doing much about it. "Is there something wrong, (L/N)? You appear different from the first time we met."

You gulp tension away and attempt a smile.

"It's been a rough couple of months, so I've grown... worried about bad things happening," you reply, taking a breath. "N- Not even those two months without Frisk were as scary as these new changes. Back then, I had little to lose -- I'd already lost my own child; there wasn't much left around for me to keep living for. No reason for it. Frisk wasn't with me anymore, and… And I destroyed all my other relationships, so -- in the end -- I was alone and I didn't have anywhere to go." You huff and follow it up with a shudder. "But now… Now I've got plenty to lose and barely any ideas on how to prevent that from happening. I don't want to lose the progress I've made until now, and I… I don't want to keep screwing up so much, either."

"You should seek some sort of counseling, if so."

He takes a step back and sits on the couch when Frisk offers him to.

You copy the man's actions, choosing the recliner opposite to his seat to maintain eye contact with him.

"There's a fine line between fear and paranoia, and I believe you're crossing the latter now," he adds, frowning. "Or do you consider it normal to come running all the way from the kitchen to the living room, pointing a knife at me -- and looking as on-edge as you were just a moment ago?" He stops for a minute. "I understand you're being cautious, and that you're worried over Frisk opening the door to anyone who knocks on it, but your reaction just now was much different from the first day we met -- in a few ways positive, but in most ways not."

"I… I'll try to find some help, then," you reply, sighing. You then bring a hand to your forehead and rub at your temples, brow creasing in the process. "But... May I ask what's the reason for your visit? I thought our next meeting would be by the end of the year," you stop yourself at the feeling of being impolite, "...Not that I mind you visiting! I just… I thought I had more time to research more about monsters."

He keeps quiet for what feels like an eternity, heightened by the loud ticktock of the clock hanging nearby. "I can answer, but only if you promise me you'll be true to your word, and if you provide thorough evidence the next occasion we meet -- both with your counseling and research."

"I already have some on my research," you say, smiling. "Could I show it to you?"

"You should," he replies, impassive.

"E- Excuse me for a moment, then."

He nods.

Nodding back, you walk off to your room and clear your throat on the way there in an attempt at gaining some strength. You can feel your resolve debilitating with each second, likely product of the surprise visit, but undoubtedly influenced by factors beyond it. The bunny notepad gifted to you was still a work in progress. You'd barely just managed to cover half of the ten main people Frisk was associated with. Toriel, Papyrus, and Sans were the three you'd learned most about, while Undyne and Alphys had been left behind with the whirlwind you'd been pulled into since the monsters arrived at the Surface. It's difficult to admit you'd rather go back to how things were before Frisk ended up at the Underground, yet -- at the same time -- there's plenty of things that outweigh that desire, varying from the help and friendship both Toriel and Papyrus offered you, to the 'friends with benefits' sort of relationship you shared with the latter's older brother.

You brush those thoughts aside when picking up the notepad; priorities are rearranged as you step out and make way back to the living room.

No matter what, you weren't about to lose your child simply for allowing them to keep spending time with a group known to have hurt them first. Something had to be done, even if it involved you becoming an antagonist. As lovely as the monsters were and are, there are some sacrifices you're not quite ready to make yet -- however selfish some of these make you feel.

The routine of breathing in and out is kept in mind as you arrive at the living room, where -- true to his word -- Bubbles is still at. He's still sitting on the couch, but at a different spot as he leaves space for Frisk, who's showing him the hundred-piece puzzle they're more than halfway through finishing. A smile can be seen on his face, and he doesn't have his sunglasses on anymore, making him appear much more approachable now. That -- however nice of a sight to see -- changes when he looks up from the puzzle and stares down at you, smile changing to a firm line and eyes narrowing when meeting yours.

"Is that all your evidence?" he asks, gaze going further down to stare at the bunny notepad in hand. "Forgive me for saying this, but I'm afraid that doesn't seem like much, at first glance."

It isn't.

Bile forms in your throat and you're urged to squeeze the notepad tight, too anxious to let your muscles relax and too nauseous not to grow irate. "It's possible it might not be much," you confess, frowning. You then bite on your lower lip to prevent your voice from lowering. "I've had a tough time deciding, and…" You sigh and loosen your shoulders afterwards. "And then other things got in the way, but... Judging by the situation, I should wait until you ask me what these things are, shouldn't I?

"That would be preferable," he replies, gaze and mouth softening. "Care to place that notebook on the table? I'll only need a few minutes to look through it."

"Of course."

With that final agreement, you approach the coffee table and set the evidence down. An instinct to flee from the scene while he reads overcomes your senses, though you remind yourself of the severity of the situation and what lies ahead. You sit back down on the recliner and tap your foot as you wait for him, an action you can't bring control over with how shaky your entire body is. Even so much as keeping yourself in one place feels like a challenge you're not exactly ready to overcome presently. Regardless, you comply and distract yourself by looking at Frisk, who's still finishing with their puzzle.

"It's been months, and yet this is the only information you've found?" Bubbles asks, fixing the sunglasses now resting on his head as he brings the notebook closer to him. "There's hardly ten people on this list, (L/N)," he adds, face scrunching as he reads through the list again. "Just what have you been up to this entire time?"

A combined sense of guilt and embarrassment take over, causing an overall inability to stare at him, already hard to do with the intensity of his gaze. "I've been touring the Underground," you begin, bracing yourself with a breath. "I was also hospitalized for a while, and then there was some... personal trouble with my ex-husband the day after I, well…" Your face burns at the thought. "Spent the night at a hotel with, uh… monster number three."

Bubbles eyes the list again and stops immediately.

"Serif?" he asks, showing you the notebook and pointing at his name. He then looks back to it and skips through a few pages. A subtle curve shows up on his mouth, almost making him appear as if he's smiling. "I assumed as much, judging by how much there's written about him." Sighing, he closes the notepad and stares at you again. "But spent the night in a literal sense, or-"

"Literal!" you exclaim, too stressed to bear listening until the end. "We're not dating, but…"

"You wish you were?"

"Uh… Kinda?"

His neutral expression changes to a subtle frown. "That doesn't answer my question, unfortunately."

"I'm not sure," you elaborate, huffing as you furrow your brow and grimace, headache returning. "We've… We've called each other nicknames a couple of times, and we almost kissed once, but, well…"

"Wasn't he the one troubling you the most?" he asks, frown growing more prominent. "While I do not wish to question you over who you befriend, this is the same man you informed me about a few months ago, who -- quote: 'threatened Frisk with death and did very little to help them out in the Underground'." He stops to breathe in deep, huffing just as loud after. "Can you sincerely admit to me you've developed a crush on him ever since then -- cross your heart?" he adds, forehead wrinkling and hands folding over the notebook. "Has he shown any repentance over his actions for you to be forgiving him so easily?"

"That's exactly why ren's not dating him officially yet!" Frisk intervenes, standing up from their seat like a lawyer would do when defending their client. "They-"

"Please, do not interrupt us. It's for your own good, Frisk (L/N)."

"But it's true," they state, persisting. "I-"

"It's been roughly three months since I last gave this home a visit, and yet I've seen little progress made with the only task I assigned to you, (L/N)," he says, standing up straight. "You were meant to determine and establish which monsters are safe to have around Frisk, and which ones aren't, but -- so far -- the only information you've given me's going stagnant with how long it's taken you to make a decision."

You're the one to stand up next, against letting yourself feel weaker.

"That's what I've been doing, even if it looks like I haven't made any progress," you reply, fists clenching. Your heart races faster with each moment that passes, making you seek some calm through the reminder of how fragile your current physical state is. "I- I've toured half of the Underground with that same man, I've settled an agreement with Toriel as to how much time she's allowed to spend with Frisk, and I'm... I'm trying to understand number three's intentions by-"

"By dating him."

"Please, let me finish."

Bubbles chuckles and crosses his arms, staring down at you afterwards. "Alright." He sighs and loosens up as he massages the bridge of his nose. "Then, would you be kind enough to explain to me what you've learned about him so far? And just why haven't you made a decision yet, if you happen to know him that well?"

"He's, uh…" You hesitate with a frown. "He's difficult to understand, but he... He means well, and I trust his intentions better these days."

"This is the same man you were accusing of being a hypocrite the first day you met him."

"And now it's been months, sir." You harrumph when noticing the sudden rise in your tone. "I've learned enough now to know he doesn't mean any harm."

"And to what extent would you say your trust towards him goes?" he asks, uncrossing his arms and softening his gaze. "Is it enough for you to accept his and Toriel's offer of having you and your child in that new school? Or enough to still hesitate when asked about the nature of your relationship with him?" His stern mouth turns to a frown, revealing whole-hearted concern. "How can you trust him enough for one thing, but not the other -- if one is much more weighted than the other?"

You take a second to think and calm down some more. His questions make rounds about your mind as you weigh the pros and cons of not only your relationship with monster number three, but with everyone else, as well. Finding an answer proves difficult the more you stay quiet to reflect on the heaviness of both sides. Either way, consequences would soon follow, and you were required to act fast -- judging by Bubble's words. If you wanted to let Frisk keep their relationship with the monsters and for you to maintain your own, you needed to speed things up more than you would want to, given how much willpower you have left.

"Because even then, they're still different things," you speak up, breaking the silence. "Accepting that job offer and letting Frisk go to Toriel's school isn't the same as opening my heart out to someone new, when I screwed up big time seven years ago with a different guy."

Bubbles takes the notepad and gives it back to you. Then, he fixes his attire and looks at the time. His expression is hard to read with how serious his eyes and mouth have become, though his calm tone reveals he's neutral over the situation when he replies with, "Who you date is none of my concern, so long as it is done with another consenting adult, and so long as it doesn't bring any harm upon Frisk. The same goes for your friendships, but time's running out, and I need you to start making decisions soon." He stops to slip his sunglasses back on, masking his gaze, smoothened by sympathy for what seems like a split second -- if not less. "It's either that, or I'll have to make them for you." He sighs. "And as I'm sure you know, these aren't the best for you or your child. It's what the department requires for the safety of Frisk, above anything else."

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

• • •

Stay tuned for a Pride Month related notice after the next update is out.

As always, take care, stay safe...

...And Happy Pride! 🌈😄

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[raschuuuu]

WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME BACK? // M.YG angst (Suga)

Summary: You finally had your debut with your girl group with Big Hit entertainment. That was your absolute biggest dream but what happens when you have to decide now? Do you want to live your idol life and let the love of your life go for it? Or do you decide for the life of your life?

Word count: 5k

Genre: angst

warnings: established relationship / swearing / soft yoongi / mentioning of breakups / mentioning of suicide/death

Pairing: Yoongi!idol x female idol!reader

A/N: Hello guuuuys! Today I hope very much that you will like this one here! I didn't get any requests so I want to say it again one more time: FEEL FREE TO SEND ME YOUR REQUESTS!!! 😟🥺It’s my second fanfic on this blog I worked very hard on it so I really really hope you guys will enjoy it. If you guys think I could do anything better or you have another preferences please let me know. I’d be very happy if you guys leave a like so I know you read it and liked it. Another note: English is not my first language I’m very sorry if you guys find any mistakes.. 💔

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5th December 2020

What could be better than having a debut just before the year ends? My group and I were supposed to have our debut much earlier but that was  postponed due to the COVID pandemic so it was complicated to have a debut this year but nevertheless our company managed to give us a debut before the year ends and I really have to say it's the best thing that could ever happen to me!

My dream has finally come true. How long was I a trainee? Exactly. Six years. Six freaking years I was hidden behind the scenes of my big and famous company. It feels really shitty to be in the shadow of two famous groups in South Korea. Don't get me wrong I'm a really big fan of BTS and TXT but we got tired of being told that we're going to make our debut but at the end we didn’t. I know the guys from BTS and TXT  personally and we all get along super well even the other members of my group. But to be honest BTS and TXT couldn't wait for our debut to happen and finally it's here (y/g/n) finally gets the recognition.

31st December 2020

Of course our lives have changed dramatically since we made our debut. Of course it's much harder to go out alone now than before. Before I was a nobody. No one knew me but now I don't even dare to go alone to the convenient store that is just around the corner of our dorm. You might think I'm exaggerating a bit but no, unfortunately it's the truth. Nevertheless, I don't want to spoil my idol life. After our debut we had a lot of promotions and interviews. But even before that we didn't have much time because we had to shoot our music video and photo shoots and we were all sent to the hairdresser because our old look was officially bye bye. I’m happy with my new look I think I look so beautiful I can't believe what a haircut and a nice makeup can do to a person.

Today is the 31st of December. New Year's Eve! New year takes place in less than 24 hours! Where am I? I'm at this year's MBC Gayo DaeJeon. My first new year's eve without my family and officially my first new year's eve as an idol. I'm so excited I can't believe it I'm going to be on stage with my girls and I'm meeting other idols how exciting is that. I'm sitting in the makeup room getting my makeup done by our makeup artist and on the side our hairstylist is making me a high ponytail. I hope I'll look good. Dabi, the oldest of our group and therefore our Unni, has just finished and looks adorable. Miso sits to my left and is also getting her make-up and hair done. Hyemi is getting ready after me because she doesn't take up much time. She has the shortest hair of all of us. I’m sitting with my mobile phone in my hand and texting with my mother. Sometimes I wish I could be with her and with my father and my siblings. I miss them all like hell. I haven't seen them since before our debut. I can't wait to hold them all in my arms next time.

(eomma):

y/n we miss you! New year's eve isn't the same without you but hopefully you'll have fun on stage today. We'll all be watching you! Your dad and I your grandparents and your siblings so don't worry we're always with you! Good luck my child fighting! 🎉🎆

I notice how i get tears in my eyes but no I mustn't cry my makeup gets ruined. Just as I want to answer my mother i get a new text on my phone.

(yoongi):

I'm excited to see you tonight! You'll be great I believe in you.

By the way... I guess I didn't tell you that I'm dating Min Yoongi. That's right, Min Yoongi.

flashback

2014

"Y/n! We're about to meet BTS!" says Hyemi as I just walked into the dance practice room. What BTS? The group that made their debut last year? "Really why?" I ask looking at her confused. Apparently all new trainee male or female, are introduced to BTS because they want to give us some nice words and encouragement on our way as trainees. Just as I was about to sit down, the seven men came in the door. One after the other, they passed us by. Wow, these guys can count themselves lucky that their time is up. But one boy in particular stands out to me. He has red hair. Not too light and not too dark, a red that almost goes brown. He is beautiful.

I haven't really informed myself about who BTS is, of course I still have difficulties to remember their names, I just became a trainee before I didn't care who was a trainee here... but this man is beautiful!

Oh crap he looks at me. Why is he looking at me. Someone tell him to look the other way please I’m so awkward I don't know how to act when someone looks at me I better look the other way. The leader said some nice words to us they all wished us luck and said that they can't wait for us to make our debut and that when the day comes they're all gonna be happy and supportive! Really nice of them I never thought that they would do something like that. We all got up and bowed and said thank you, while BTS was about to walk out I saw the red haired boy looking at me one last time before he went out. Crazy man do I have something on my face stop staring!

2015

I started to get to know them better each and every one of them. I get along best with Hoseok and Taehyung. Every now and then we run into each other in the building and talk for a few minutes. We trainees also got to meet all the guys in person, they are all so nice and down to earth I don't regret it one bit that I joined this company! Jungkook is about my age and every now and then we have a few laughs together. Once you are in the company you are like one big family whether it is with the trainees or the staff. However I have not been able to get close to one person and that is Min Yoongi. I don't know what it is but every time he and I are in a room with other people it just gets awkward. I don't know what it is but every time he is near me I feel intimidated and just want to get out of there. We've never spoken a word to be honest maybe it's because he feels awkward around me too? I can't understand why he feels this way I always try to get along with everyone even if i don't want to and make everyone feel comfortable around me because I want it to be mutual. So what's his problem?

2016

I have heard from his members that he has a crush on me and gets shy around me which I totally don't understand because how can anyone be into me? Especially back then! I don't want to go into too much detail but I can tell you that after a while and with the help of Hoseok and Taehyung he and I started texting at some point. We had been friends for a long time but only online. We were both too nervous to meet in person and to be honest that had been impossible because he was busy as fuck and no one was supposed to find out that we were texting. BTS recognition grew more and more each year and he became busier and busier each day. I was of course very happy for everyone and one rainy day in the evening Yoongi appeared out of nowhere on my doorstep and confessed his love to me. I am still overwhelmed by it and it all feels so unreal and like it just happened yesterday, but I went for it and agreed to be his girlfriend.

back to December 31st 2020

For four years we have been hiding our relationship. Nobody knows about it the whole Big Hit staff doesn't know about it and neither do our managers the only ones who know about it are his members and recently my members. I didn't want to tell them until we made our debut together because I was too scared of being told off during my trainee time. But I have to say that the girls stand behind me and accept our relationship and they all swore they would take it to the grave with them.

I quickly turn down the brightness of my screen because there's too much danger of my hairstylist and makeup artist reading the text. I close my phone and put it on my lap. How much I want to answer him but I don't dare I can't answer him when there are too many people around me. After a while we were called and it was finally our turn I'm so nervous but we managed it all with flying colors and we were the topic of the evening.

In a few minutes it's already new year I'm ready and let 2021 come to me. At midnight Yoongi calls me and I answer the phone with joy.

"Happy new year y/n! I love you and I hope we will spend more time together this year even though it will be harder now." I smile to myself and say "Happy new year Yoongi... how is your shoulder? Are you resting enough? Are you eating enough? Are you sleeping enough? Are you in pain? If you are in pain then take a painkiller and go back to the doctor!" I can't see it but I can tell he is grinning and shaking his head. I don't let him get a word in edgewise.

"Don't worry I’m fine I just miss you you're the only painkiller I can take" - "Hahaha yah! You're so corny! I miss you too sweetheart I wish we had spent this new year together... I’m sorry it turned out like this!" I feel really bad because I know he won't be able to spend new year with his boys or me... To be honest we have never had a new year together except on the phone but this time it could have worked out! He is at home with his injury and if we wouldn't have had our debut then we would have had a first new year together after four years of relationship!

January 10th 2021

At the beginning of the new year our manager gave us our schedule plan at it looked hella busy! This whole January we would be completely busy we don't even have one weekend off! I can’t believe it how will I able to see my family or even Yoongi? I saw him at the first weekend of January we spent it together at his family’s house in Daegu behause to be honest that is actually the only place that we can go to a little far away from Seoul without having to worry that any of the staff could know or see us. My family also knows and loves him to death but with my family living in Seoul it’s complicated to take him there. Our manager left the room and I looked at Dabi with the ‘You and I bathroom NOW!’ look she understood and got up from her place and she followed me to the bathroom. We checked if any other person was inside when there wasn’t I said “What the fuck I’m I gonna do now Unni? How am I able to see Yoongi? How will I be able to even go out. I won’t even have time to take the fucking trash out from our dorm when it’s my turn to clean!” I yell. She stands there giving me a confused look. “What do you expect y/n? You chose to have this idol life you know its busy and complicated to have a boyfriend especially as a fresh debuted idol! Why do you think they won't let us have a relationship? I wish I could help you but I can’t. We’re gonna be busy as fuck!” she yelled back. “Psh shut your volume down unni!” she opened the door to see if there was anyone outside but there wasn’t.

I feel bad I really do. I don't want my members to be in trouble because of me that's the last thing I want. I hug her and apologize to her. I have to think of something I don't know what to do. I don't want us to be away from each other for too long what happens when he stops loving me all of a sudden? What do I do when he goes back to work then it will all be worse! Before I became an idol we could always see each other at the end of the day but now it will be impossible. I have to talk to him about it because one thing we promised each other is that we talk about everything because that's the only way a healthy relationship can work and such a complicated relationship we both have. I take out my phone and write him a message.

(me):

Yoongi. Tonight FaceTime date you and me?

In less than two minutes I already get my answer.

(yoongi):

of course!

evening

I turn on my MacBook and call him on FaceTime. After three rings he answers the phone and turns it off too so he doesn't have to hold it in his hand. He still has his bandage on and his hair is wet he must have been in the shower. He wears cute pyjamas and fight me or not but black haired Yoongi is the most beautiful Yoongi. I always fall in love again when I see him. Hard to believe we were so awkward with each other back then but this year is already approaching 5 years together. I could never imagine my life without him. 

"Hey my darling" he says happily and smiles at me. I smile back and ask him how he is. He tells me that he is getting better every day and that during his time off he has found a lot of time for himself and his music and how much he misses the others. And me too, of course. "What's wrong with you?" he asks me when he notices that my mind is somewhere else. I think he took the Facetime date too seriously. He be sitting there with his cup of ramen. I just laugh. "Yoongi... I'm going to be busy all of January and manager oppa said that February might not be any better," I say and wait for his answer. He swallows his noodles and drinks a glass of water. "Does that mean we won't see each other this month?" he asks. I think he's a little disappointed I know him and I know his tones and his looks and I can hear my heart breaking by now. And how much I'd like to see you Yoongi. Every second every day. "No," I say, and then an uncomfortable silence descends. 

“You know what baby it’s fine don't worry. I mean I wasn’t any better back then do you remember when I always used to be so busy? I never had time for you and I felt so bad. But you were there for me and you stayed by my side and you were and still are the most supportive girlfriend I could ever ask for. I think it would be unfair to be mad at you. I’m happy for you forever and always” well that was unexpected. I start getting tears in my eyes. I didn't think of this reaction not at all! I smile at him and say “Thank you baby... I will appreciate it I really do. But still I feel bad because especially in this period where you're sick I wish I could be there for you and take care of you. This debut was so unexpected I’m really sorry” - “Yah don't be sorry y/n. You worked your goddamn fine ass off to be where you're at right now be proud of you this is just the beginning. And it’s not like that we won't see each other ever again right?” he says. He’s right. He’s totally right. It’s not like we won't see each other ever again.

January 17th 2020

Well... seven days passed and we still haven't seen each other and we haven't talked since one week. We text every now and then cause I really only get to use my phone when it's night and we go back home but every night I'm so damn exhausted and tired that I forget to answer to his texts. I don't even have time to text my parents back or my siblings. I feel so bad I'm such a bad person. I miss them all so much. I miss my parents. I miss my sister and my brother. I miss my grandparents. I miss my boyfriend. I miss my boyfriend so damn much. I really didn't think this life is gonna be so hard for me. I feel like I've been put in the middle of a scale with my career on one side and my relationship on the other side and I have to choose one side or the other. I've never thought about breaking up with Yoongi ever in my life. Never. I just can't. I need this man too much. Even though we never have the most beautiful and perfect relationship and see each other very rarely, it's just the thought that I know there's someone in my life who loves me and accepts me for who I am that counts. He took me with my imperfections he put his career what he loves most in his life in risk to be with me and now that we are both in this situation I don't know what to do I feel bad and selfish for even thinking about it I don't want to make him feel like my career is more important than him or our relationship he doesn't deserve that he deserves the world and he deserves to be happy. But I love my career I love my job I love my members I love our staff I love our fans. Our biggest fear was not being accepted by the society outside especially now in this period when BTS is one of the biggest groups in the whole world and have a very big influence in the KPOP industry. We were afraid that society would think that since we are the first girl group to make a Big Hit debut in a very long time that people would think that we would mess with the boys heads or that there would be any rumors started between us and the other groups. But on the contrary people have been happy for us and love our music and us individually. I feel like Hannah Montana I feel like I am living a double life.

20th January 2021

"I know you are overwhelmed with the situation my child, I can imagine that it is very hard for you but you have to know what is best for you. You can't tell anyone from your company, you are a rookie, if they find out you had a boyfriend during your trainee time then it is even worse. I wish I was with you and could help you or just be there for you. I love Yoongi very much but I love you even more and I am happy with any decision you make. Just make the right one" my mother says on the phone. Tears have been flowing since she got on the phone but I don't want to tell her and I try not to sob but I know she can tell by my tone that I am crying. She is right. I have to make a decision. Yoongi is getting better day by day and soon he will be busy too he will go back to his daily routine and the other members. He will have comebacks he will have dance practices he will have to go to the recording studio he will have photo shoots he will do interviews and when the corona situation allows he will have to go to other countries and I have to do the same.

I love him to death and I will never love anyone as much as I love him but I am just not happy like this and you can tell me what you want he is not either but he doesn't let it show. Yesterday on the phone there was such an awkward tension between us it felt like I was making small talk with a stranger. Even though I might be the bad guy but one of us has to make the first move. I have wished and hoped that this day will never come but I have to do it.

23 January 2021

Yoongi told me that he is back in his flat in Seoul with his mother. Unfortunately he still can't travel alone so his dear mum went with him. I missed her too, she's the nicest and sweetest woman ever. When I imagine that I won't see her again either, tears well up in my eyes. But today I have to do it. Who would have thought that our reunion would be like this? Who would have thought that I would break up with him. He won't expect it but I have to do it. I’m cold and sick and I just want to go to bed and get the day over with. It's 11pm at night and we've come home after a long hard day. I look out the window and wait until our manager is out of sight.

My members know about my plans and of course have asked me a million times if I am sure and if there is no other way out. I am very happy that they are worried about me but I also feel bad towards them. I have been hiding it from them all our trainee years and when I told them they were all so good about it and even want me not to do it. But no I will do it I am young and want to concentrate on my career and what is coming up for us.

I told Yoongi that I would come, of course he doesn't want to because it's way too late but I said it was important and that we had to talk about something. When I said we had to talk about something he was quiet and then just said he would wait for me. I put on a hat and a thick jacket and the hood of the jacket and a mask and a scarf and go out into the high snow that has covered Seoul. His flat is not far from mine but still I have to take a taxi. I ask the driver to wait for me because I don't want to stay there long I want to get it over with quickly and go.

(me):

can you come down?

(yoongi):

why don't you come up?

(me):

I think its better when you come down Yoongi I don't want your mom to be worried or hears any of that were gonna talk.

He doesn't text back instead I just see the lights turning on from his window. A few minutes later he comes down. Oh my fucking lord he is so handsome. I want to run up to him and kiss him from head to toe. I want to be in his arms. I want us to go upstairs together and fall asleep together. I want to build a snowman with him. I want to be with him forever I love him he is the love of my life.

He comes up to me and smiles at me. He stands in front of me and we both don't say a word. His smile turns into a confused look he notices something is wrong. "Don't I get a kiss or a hug?" he asks me. My heart breaks into a thousand pieces. I would love to rip your clothes off Min Yoongi.

"I want to break up." Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. "Yoongi say something?" I ask him. He says nothing. He looks at me with a blank look he is sad he is disappointed he is devastated just like me. "Yoongi please?". He does not speak.

"Yoongi, I'm sorry. I-i-I really love you I love you more than anything but I know that I can't give 100% in our relationship now. I just want us to be happy but I see that we are not. It could have been great during your time off but I can't be there for you... sooner or later it should have happened. I want to be with you but I can't anymore it was okay then but it's not okay now we're both famous you're in the biggest boy group in the world if anyone finds out we're together we'll be screwed. Especially me Yoongi. Female idols have it harder than male idols you know that. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and I think this will be the best thing for us I-" he interrupts me.

"How dare you to tell me what's best for me? Do you have any idea what you're talking about y/n? Stop trying to tell me what's best for me when you know you're the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life god damn. I was going through a difficult time in my life and you were the only one who was there for me! And now you're telling me let’s break up because you're afraid people are gonna find out? And that they are gonna blame you? The fuck? Theres always two fucking persons in a relationship y/n! I also wanted that. I wanted you. Don’t you love me anymore? Why don’t you love me anymore? We hid our relationship for four fucking years why can't we hide it now?" he said yelling at me.

 I am shocked and sad I want to die. I don't want to live in this life without Min Yoongi. But I know it's best for us I do it for him and his career too.

"Yes I don't love you anymore" were my last words before I left.

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A/N: damn y/n!!! did you just break up with the mf min yoongi? you better save your relationship! guys if you want a part two (with maybe a happy ending?) let me know! love you bye 🎀

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