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alexsoenomel · 3 months

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The Reveries Of My Mind (Dean Winchester x Reader fluff/smut)

Summary: What happens when you discover you can feel someone's torment and struggles through an unexplainable bond?

"Your struggles are mine. Your sadness is mine. You're mine."

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI , vanilla sex, dreams about the reader dying --not too graphic , first person fic

Word count: 6.7k

Note: I took my time with this one. I really like it. I've been struggling to write for so long it feels good to be back. Enjoy!

Like/ reblog or both if you like it :)

And a huge thank you to my wonderful beautiful best friend @ambergoddess444 for being the best beta reader <3

I’m gonna kill him.

I heard Sam’s voice echo in my mind as I was eating my pancakes. I looked at Dean who was stuffing his face with eggs and bacon, not really paying attention to Sam’s resting bitch face.

STOP CHEWING SO LOUD FOR THE LOVE OF CHUCK!

I heard him again and almost choked on my milk.

“What?” Sam asked.

“Oh, nothing,” I answered.

Dean just glanced at me and continued eating his breakfast.

It was Sunday and luck was on our side because we couldn't find a case. This would happen once in a blue moon so we were quite content with having a day off. Monsters sometimes sleep.

After breakfast Sam said he was going to go and catch up on some reading while Dean and I were left alone.

“Can I borrow Baby?” I asked, since it was July and summer was in full swing in Kansas. I wanted to forget about my job – about hunting – I wanted to go outside and feel the summer breeze in my hair in his beautiful Impala. I already knew his answer as soon as I saw his brow arch. He was very protective over his Baby; only allowed me to drive once after I begged him for my birthday.

Absolutely not.

“Why?”

I crossed my arms, my lips thinned.

“Why ask when you already gave me your answer?”

Dean raised his eyebrows, eyes widened as we were sitting at the table opposite of each other.

“I keep forgetting you can do that,” he said, looking away from me.

“You keep forgetting about your mental shield,” I told him as I went to the kitchen to get myself some coffee.

I didn't realize Dean was following me until I heard his voice.

“I can't just sit in silence and breathe while I think about nothing.”

“You mean to meditate?” I chuckled.

“Yeah…that.”

I took a sip of hot coffee Sam made after breakfast and turned around to face him.

“You have to strengthen your shield, Dean.”

“There has to be another way,” he said desperately as he poured coffee into his black mug.

“No there isn't, I told you. Everyone has a mental shield, but the reason why I can hear people's thoughts 99% of the time is because their shield is not strong enough. And how do you strengthen your shield? You shut up and meditate. Focus on it and build it.”

Dean wasn't pleased as he took another sip of his coffee.

“Sam meditates, can you still hear his thoughts?”

“I can, because it takes years to actually strengthen the damn shield and he started meditating six months ago.”

He just rolled his eyes as we went back to the library.

“I don't want you in my head,” he stated.

“I cannot help it, dumbass. Can I take the car or not?”

Dean took the keys out of his pocket and dangled them in front of my face. I tried to take them but he refused to give them to me.

Typical.

“I'm driving,” he told me with a smirk.

***

“Where do you want to go?” He asked me as I closed the car door.

“I don't have any particular destination in mind. I just wanted to drive around and listen to music.”

Dean gave me a soft smile before starting the engine. Baby was purring – I could never get tired of that sound; it was smooth and powerful – no wonder he was so protective of her. The car held memories, sacred moments and was filled with stories – good and bad.

“Sounds like a plan,” and with those words we were off.

We were on the main highway, heading to God knows where. Dean, of course being the driver, was controlling the music as well.

Dream On by Aerosmith was playing. I loved that song, but I was in the mood for Van Halen.

Driver picks the music. Shot-

“Shotgun what?” I smirked, glancing at him. I saw he gripped the wheel tighter and licked his lips.

“God, I hate when you do that,” he said. I chuckled.

Front windows were down, summer breeze in my face and hair gently caressing me as Crazy Train started playing. Ozzy was too chaotic for this drive. As much as I loved his songs I wanted something to ease my mind and not encourage my body to produce adrenaline. I dared to change the song.

Don't Fear The Reaper by Blue Öyster Cult.

Much better.

“Hey, I was listening to that,” Dean of course complained.

“Well not anymore,” I told him as I showed him a middle finger.

A chuckle left his lips before he spoke.

“Wanna grab a few drinks?”

“Dean I don't wanna get drunk at” – I looked at my phone to check the time – “11am.”

“You don't have to do anything you don’t wanna do. We can buy a few beers and go to our favorite hiding spot. If I get too drunk maybe, maybe I'll let you drive.”

I couldn't believe what I just heard. My heart was racing from excitement. Sam was always the designated driver; Dean would sometimes drive drunk without us noticing. I know that because he admitted that…while we were drinking after a successful hunt.

“Really?” I played skeptical; part of me was. “You're not afraid I'll crash your beloved car?”

“If you do, I'll kill you,” he looked at me and gave me a flat smile.

Fair enough.

“Well okay.”

She won't crash my car.

Well I think she won’t.

I hope she won’t.

I didn't say anything, just stared at the trees blurred on my right side as we passed by; absorbing the warmth and sunshine in my face.

It's My Life By Bon Jovi started playing.

Perfect.

Dean bought a couple of beers and some Slim Jims at the first gas station just before his favorite hiding spot.

The hiding spot was an abandoned house we found a few months ago when we were hunting a vampire nest. It was an old cabin in the middle of nowhere, a few miles away from the main road. After exterminating the nest, we started coming there every once in a while to relax and get away from everything that made us hunters. Sam completely forgot about that place but Dean and I would occasionally go, mainly at night to get away from the bunker’s haunting reminder of the life we were living. There we were just regular folk, drinking and having fun. The house was dusty and old, but dear to us, like a portal to a regular life and what we desperately wanted, but could never have.

As we were approaching the house I couldn’t ignore the strong sense of serenity coming from Dean. His mind was at ease, no racing thoughts, no sorrow he would usually carry within himself – he was happy. I’ve never told him about that; I know he would probably freak out – yell even – so I kept my mouth shut. I would be lying if I said it didn't freak me out as well. Every emotion he would feel, I would feel too and sometimes even twice as strong. It was like a bond of some sort; an invisible string connecting us and letting me see and feel every inch of his mind. I would wake up whenever he couldn’t sleep, I’d laugh whenever he’d laughed and I would get angry whenever he’d get angry…I felt everything and it was driving me insane not being able to talk to him about it, because it was only him I’d felt connected to.

I smiled at him when he turned off the engine, feeling the warmth in his soul. I got out of the car and stretched my legs, inhaling fresh summer air and soaking in the sunshine on my skin.

“Let’s have a picnic,” I suggested, “I don’t wanna go inside. The weather is beautiful.”

“A picnic? Here?” He asked, looking around. Nothing but endless grass fields around us; the highway was peeking through the greenery but we could barely see it anymore.

“You will be fine, princess,” I chuckled, “Besides it’s good to connect with mother nature every once and a while.”

Forest nymph.

He started calling me that when I told him about my love and admiration for nature and my passion for hiking and exploring woods. He told me no sane person loves hiking, but his younger brother understood. Now, occasionally I’d go hiking with Sam.

I ignored his thought, even though I wanted to tell him we weren’t in a forest, and found a perfect spot next to the house and sat down. He rolled his eyes and joined me.

Dean cracked two bottles and I opened one of my favorite honey BBQ Slim Jims and took a first bite. I loved the smooth texture and a light honey flavor mixed with BBQ aroma in my mouth.

“Cheers!” He said lifting his bottle for a toast.

“Cheers, for not dying!”

He chuckled.

“For not dying!”

One beer…

Two beers later we were both feeling the consequences of our own actions. I was tipsy due to my low alcohol tolerance while Dean seemed sober but was far from it. He had a strange gift – being able to fake sobriety. He had been doing it for years and now seeing him behaving like a drunken fool looked strange and unfamiliar.

He was looking at me; green eyes sparkling under the sun making me wonder if he and I were ever meant for something more. I was in love with the idea of being in love with him but it scared me more than death which I had experienced a couple of times. He was my best friend, my annoying best friend with a heart of gold and a shadow he wanted to remain hidden.

We stayed for hours, soaking in the sunshine and summer heat while reliving old memories and wondering if this life we had was worth it. We soon realized, it was.

“We still get to experience this,” I stated, showing him a butterfly that flew in that moment right in front of me.

“Butterflies?” He wondered, tilting his head a little in confusion.

“Nature, dumbass,” I smiled, “And other small pleasures, music, alcohol, food…and also knowing the world is less shitty because of us.”

He nodded in a silent agreement before hearing him call me forest nymph again. His warm green eyes fixed on me, making me a bit nervous. He didn't say a word.

“What?” I finally asked him.

His right hand went into the pocket of his jeans and he pulled out his car keys.

“You can drive,” he told me and gave me the keys.

***

When we came back home safely, since I didn’t crash his precious car, Sam was still in his room, probably reading and Dean decided to take a nap since naps weren’t a regular occurrence in our household.

I decided to continue the book I started a couple of weeks ago. I missed being able to read books I wanted, and not just ones for research purposes. I could still feel him. He was content. I smiled and opened my book.

An hour into the book and a picture flashed right in front of my eyes. I saw blood, so much blood on the sidewalk. Hairs on my arms rose as another frame appeared: it was a girl lying face down, head bludgeoned. A wave of fear rushed over me as I closed my book, not being able to simply ignore it. I knew exactly what this was – Dean’s nightmares – I knew exactly who this was.

Another flash. His hands, covered in blood. He was trying to wake me up. He was calling my name over and over again like a prayer of despair, but I didn’t wake up; I didn’t move an inch.

Usually I would ignore his nightmares; I was too afraid to say anything, afraid of his reaction and not being able to give him a good explanation, but my silence was killing me. Something told me – maybe it was intuition or my impulsiveness, or both – I had to wake him up.

Quickly I got out of my bed and rushed to his room. His jaw was clenched, his body seemed stiff under the white sheet that covered him just below his chin. I could hear quiet moans coming from him as another picture appeared right in front of me – he was on his knees, holding me tight, eyes bloodshot red and filled with tears…My heart broke in a second before I closed my eyes, trying to make it go away. As I approached him I could see his eyes fluttering rapidly beneath his closed eyelids, his forehead glistening with a faint sheen of sweat…I had to wake him up.

“Dean?” I whispered and sat next to him. A whimper escaped his lips.

“Dean?” I called his name again, this time a little bit louder and with a hand on his cheek. He was warm.

“Dean, wake up!” I could feel his shock as he shot his eyes open, taking a deep breath like he forgot how to breathe, shivers running through him – I could feel them all over my skin.

He took in his familiar surroundings before he looked at me.

“You had a nightmare,” I told him.

“Yeah, a really bad one,” he simply added, pinching the bridge of his nose. A headache started to settle as he got up and went to the bathroom to splash himself with cold water. He was only wearing black boxers and it wasn’t like I have never seen him shirtless, it was the fact that every time I did, I had to tell myself not to stare like a Victorian man seeing ankles for the first time.

I swallowed thickly without saying a word.

I have to tell him. I repeated that sentence over and over again. I have to tell him he deserves to know.

When he came back my eyes registered his bulge for a second before looking up. I was praying he didn’t notice.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, so much for napping,” he lied and started putting on his blue jeans. I knew he was lying, he would always lie and repress his emotions and needs. I knew he was exhausted. Those nightmares had been happening for a week straight; the exhaustion showing on his face in a form of dark circles; the once lively features now appeared subdued; eyes dimmed.

“I saw it,” I utter these three words without much thought.

“What?” He was about to button his red flannel, stopping mid through.

“I saw your nightmare, you have been having the same nightmare for a week now.”

I refused to look at him, but I could feel his eyes on me as he took my words in. I could feel a slight sting in my chest coming from him – shock.

“You can read minds AND see people’s nightmares?”

“Not people’s; yours. It only happens with you, I wake up every time you have a nightmare, I feel every emotion you feel,” – I took a deep breath before I continued; I knew him well enough to know he hated secrets, even though he was a damn hypocrite and had his own – “I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to freak you out. I cannot control it, trust me I tried, but I can’t. It has been happening for a while and-”

His eyes once trusting shited and now held a hint of disappointment, his jaw clenched. Anger.

Anger and disappointment.

“For how long?” His deep voice echoed in my ears as he cut my frantic explanation short.

I froze. I knew this question was coming. I knew right there that keeping this thing a secret was a mistake. I couldn’t answer it. I couldn’t…

“For how long (Y/N)?” He demanded crossing his arms. I didn’t like the sound of my name when he was angry.

I stood up, barely feeling my legs before I answered: “A year.”

“Does Sam know?” The next question came out less angrily, his voice softer than seconds ago.

“No.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. It started as just me feeling whenever you were happy, it was hard to recognise it at first, I thought it was my happiness and then it progressed to other emotions like fear, anger and sadness and after that I started seeing your dreams. I didn’t tell Sam because I wasn’t sure what was happening.”

“And you didn’t tell me because…?” He asked like I hadn’t given him the answer.

“I told you I didn’t want to freak you out. It feels like I’m invading your privacy.”

He scoffed.

“No shit Sherlock!”

His eyes widened before he spoke again: “Wait, so that means you can feel whenever I get horny?”

I chuckled. “No, because being horny isn’t an emotion, Dean. It’s a state.”

“Oh thank God,” he expressed his relief.

“I do feel the sudden rush of endorphins and happy hormones every time you come though,” at this point I had nothing to hide, especially when I could feel his anger subsiding. It wasn’t like him to just ignore something that made him angry, but for whatever reason he was over it. Now he was mortified.

“Oh God!” He said and opened the door of his room. “SAMMY! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE WE HAVE SOME RESEARCH TO DO!”

I swallowed a laugh before he turned around.

“We're gonna get to the bottom of this!”

***

Sam was genuinely surprised when I told him about the bond. He would usually try to find an explanation or guess what it was; this time he was silent. No logical explanation, no guessing, no nothing…

“Well that’s something I have never heard off,” he just told you and went to the library to try and find some books about…

Mind reading?

Bonds?

“I don’t even know what I’m looking for,” he said, looking at the spines of old books on the shelves.

“You’re telling me,” Dean agreed.

“It’s not like I’m a monster with abilities.”

My statement was enough to light a bulb in Sam’s head: “Yes but…” – he went to the second shelf behind you, like he knew what he was looking for – “You’re something else.”

Dean and I looked at each other in confusion before Sam pulled a book from the shelf.

“Indigo children?” I read the covers.

“Huh?” Of course Dean had no idea.

“I mean it makes sense, you said you were always highly empathetic, ever since you were a kid right?”

“Yes,” I nodded as he was flipping the pages trying to find a specific chapter. The book was annotated but it wasn’t his handwriting.

“Also you started reading minds when you were 7?”

“Well kinda.”

“Before that it was like a guessing game, you just knew?”

“Sort of.”

Chapter 54. Abilities.

Indigo children are children who are believed to possess special, unusual, and sometimes supernatural traits or abilities.

“I have been on this Earth for how long and I’ve never connected the dots,” I said, admiring my own stupidity and inability to dig deeper. I was never curious enough to find an explanation for my ability; never cared enough to think about it too deeply; when I started living with Sam and Dean five years ago I told them right away what I could do. They first thought I was Azazel’s long lost special kid, the one that was lucky enough to somehow hide in the shadows back when Azazel was still alive, but that wasn’t the case. My parents were killed by a vampire and I’d never met Azazel; I didn’t even know he existed until they told me. I only knew regular black eyed demons.

“So, you were a gifted kid? That still doesn’t explain your ability to do what you have been doing for a year,” Dean scoffed.

Who names gifted kids indigo kids? Seriously?!

You chuckled.

“Wait, you have been able to do that for a year?” You heard Sam, your eyes still on the book, trying to find something, anything that would indicate the existence of the said bond.

“Yes, why?”

“Go to chapter 55,” he told me. I flipped a few pages until I saw: Chapter 55, Soulmate bonds.

An Indigo child can stumble upon an unprecedented neural synchronization when encountering their soulmate. This synchronization extends beyond telepathic communication, as it involves the transmission and reception of emotional states and dream imagery, resulting in an intimate sharing of thoughts, feelings, and subconscious experiences. Although very rare, it is possible for an Indigo child’s soulmate to be mortal, with no supernatural abilities. If an Indigo child does encounter their soulmate the bond can snap into place usually after 4 or 5 years (one case showed it can also happen after six months).

“I read this book before we met so it never crossed my mind,” I heard Sam say as I was absorbing the information. I’d known him for five years…

Five years…

It made sense.

As I was reading the first chapter out loud Dean’s wave of shock made my heart beat faster as Sam went to the kitchen to get some booze. It was like he read my mind. I have never heard of his bond. As much as I loved the idea of Dean being mine, I knew he came with tons of baggage, untreated alcoholism, and rage so immense it made my stomach turn. I was no better though just with less intensity and alcoholism.

That’s bullshit.

My heart broke hearing these words, but I finally got the courage to look at him, and for the first time his face was unreadable. He was silent. And then he just left.

Sam came back with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and three classes in the other.

“Where’s Dean?”

“He left…to process, I guess,” I said before hearing Dean slamming the front door.

Sam, knowing me too well, didn’t say anything and just poured me a glass of Dean’s fine whiskey. I took a sip feeling a sweet burn down my throat. We were silent for a while, my words buried deep in my mind; struggling to articulate my thoughts as if I had any at that moment.

“How do you feel about all of this?” Sam finally spoke, breaking the pleasant silence.

A lump formed in my throat as I tried to blink back tears. I cleared my throat and took another sip.

“I think…I’m scared to tell him he already has me wrapped around his finger with or without the stupid bond,” my answer was honest. I was scared – terrified of crossing the boundary; breaking the only rule I had: no long term relationships. Anything more than a friendship with Dean would end catastrophically; I was aware of that and yet I still secretly hoped. I wanted him to want me, I wanted him to look at me and see a safe space; I wanted him so painfully to see me and think: “She’s worth it.”

“Oh he knows, he's just being a dick about it,” Sam’s bluntness surfaced as he drank his glass of whiskey.

“What do you mean?” I asked, not really following him.

He knows?

“You two have something I’ve only experienced once in my life and yet you refuse to acknowledge it.”

My forehead creased as I subtly tilted my head in confusion. Then I heard Sam’s voice in my head as he looked at me with a soft smile on his face.

Jessica…

“Oh…” was all I could say.

“Yeah, he was scared before, now he’s probably terrified. Talk to him when he gets back.”

“So he can reject me? And probably tell me to move out? Even if he feels the same, I know Dean, and he would rather give up alcohol for the rest of his life than talk about his feelings.”

Sam snorted and nodded silently agreeing with me.

“Trust me. He won’t reject you. He’s my brother, I know him a little bit better than you do.”

***

Dean was gone for hours it seemed. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, about the bond, so I did what any sane hunter would do – I repressed my thoughts with more whiskey and drowned myself in more research with Sam. The more I drank it felt like I became more sober.

I wanted to know more about this soulmate bond. I wanted to know if there was any other way for people to block me from entering their minds besides strengthening the mental shield.

“I’ve never asked you, how did you find out about the shield anyway?” Sam asked me behind his laptop while I was trying to find books about telepathy.

“A witch told me,” I stated behind bookshelves, “When my parents died I let it control me, I couldn’t stand it, I could hear every single person I came in contact with and it was driving me nuts. So, I found a witch, a good one, and she helped me control it and told me about the shield since she was the first person I couldn’t tap into.”

I remember her fondly. Her white crow would sometimes appear, to let me know she was alive and I would visit her every year on her birthday in winter. I would tell the Winchesters I was seeing an old friend; without adding too much detail, since I knew Dean’s hatred of witches far too well.

“Good witches exist?”

“Oh yeah, she’s wonderful.”

There wasn’t any other way for other people to shield their minds from me, sadly.

“Oh but I think I found something,” Sam told me and turned his laptop towards me. I read the short paragraph and looked at him.

“I can do that?”

“You can try.”

***

Dean was still gone by the time we decided to take a break from research. Sam decided to go for a walk before bed while I went to my room to try and contact Dean through the bond. The article Sam found stated it was possible to contact your soulmate if you focused all of your energy on them.

I have no idea what I’m doing.

I laid on my bed and closed my eyes, picturing Dean standing right in front of me. Even in my mind he made me nervous. His aura was so captivating and stoic; you couldn’t forget him even if you tried. His name escaped my lips a few times, eyes still closed, but all I could hear was dead silence.His face still engraved in my mind, I studied his features: his smile lines, beautiful kissable lips, his perfect nose, freckles…

Dean? I called.

(Y/N), what the hell?

He heard me. I could feel my feet going cold as my body went numb. My heart was in my throat.

I’ll explain later! Please come home, I wanna talk to you.

In a second, my mind lost focus as I became more aware of my nervousness and he was gone. I couldn’t see him anymore.

“Crap!” I uttered in frustration and decided to text him.

Please come home.

***

I heard his footsteps thirty minutes later. I was ready for the worst; I was ready for Dean to tell me to leave; I was ready for all of it to end.

I heard him knock seconds later.

“You there?”

“Come in!”

He closed the door behind him. I was in the middle of trying to read my book, emphasis on trying, since the nervousness turned into full blown anxiety and I couldn’t focus on anything but him. I put the book down as he sat on the bed. I was hit with a sudden smell of cigarettes and alcohol in my nostrils. He probably went to a bar.

“How did you do that?” He asked, this time looking me dead in the eyes. His gaze wasn’t soft – I couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated – his eyes bore into mine with such seriousness I’d only seen a handful of times.

“I did some research with Sam. The bond allows us to communicate telepathically.”

“I-I can also do that?”

“If you concentrate hard enough, yeah.”

An astounded chuckle was all I heard. And then:

This is crazy.

I know.

His lips parted slightly once he realized he could hear me. I on the other hand didn’t want him to hear me, but looking at him, seeing the evident worry and fear in his green eyes, I couldn’t control it. It became natural.

“Where were you?” I asked and boldly decided to sit next to him.

“Went to our favorite hiding spot to think. When thinking became too much, I went to a bar and had a couple of drinks.”

“And? What are your thoughts?”

His hand gently found mine, intertwining his fingers with mine. I wasn’t sure if I was breathing at that moment. I could feel my cheeks burning as he pressed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

“I feel like ignoring how I feel about you just made everything worse.”

I’m terrified.

I ignored it and focused on his actual voice. “And I feel like this bond slapped me in the face.”

“You and me both,” I smiled.

Sam was right after all. I didn’t know what else to say but all I could think about was pressing my lips against his. I wanted to kiss him so badly, but my body refused to cooperate with my mind.

I didn’t need to kiss him first, because his lips found mine in a matter of seconds. The kiss was gentle, warm; his lips perfectly pressed against mine. I opened my mouth letting him know he could explore it with his tongue and he was happy to do so. A whine escaped my lips when he broke the kiss.

“I heard you,” he smirked.

Please stay with me. My mind yelled.

“I will,” he heard me. Again.

***

Dean went to get ready for bed and so did I. It was already 11pm, Sam was long gone, snoring in his room after a long walk and I went to take a shower.

It will probably happen.

Maybe it won’t?

Maybe we will just cuddle and sleep?

Yeah right.

Why am I so nervous?

I’m nervous because the last time I was in love with someone he left me for a girl named Karen.

In high school.

Crap.

My thoughts were racing as I was washing myself and getting ready to spend the night with him. I put on my shirt and a pair of clean underwear before brushing my teeth. I turned off the lights and went under the covers. Somehow it was always cold in my room, no matter the season. I focused on my soft pillow and how it felt against my cheek as I turned on my side. That lasted maybe two seconds as my mind kept drifting and wondering what was coming next. The thought of him pressed against me made me excited; his lips on my neck, hands on my hips…

I didn’t even realize I was rubbing my thighs together, desperately seeking some form of release. Thank God I was tired, a few moments later I could feel my eyelids getting heavier and my body finally relaxing. I wondered where Dean was as I started drifting and soon enough I got my answer.

He would always take long showers; so I wasn’t surprised when he came 15 minutes later. He found me peacefully drifting between realms of reality and dreams, and with his hands wrapped around me pulled me back to reality – to him. My back pressed against him; we stayed like this, as my patience was running low and I could feel myself getting wet.

He was melting any sense of restraint I had and even with nervousness practically suffocating me, I turned around and snuggled against him, his chin resting on top of my head. He was warm; skin soft as I took a deep breath to breathe in his scent – forest after rain and him.

“Did you know?” I whispered into him.

“Huh? What?” His deep raspy voice so close to ears made me shiver.

“Did you know that I have feelings for you?”

Sam said he did, but I wanted to hear from him.

“I suspected it, but refused to believe it. Until Sam confirmed it.”

“How did Sam know? I’ve never told him.” I said and lifted my head to look at him. It was dark, but I could still see the outlines of his face – he smiled at me.

“He told me you get smiling eyes when we are together. I didn’t really know what he meant until we took down that vampire nest back in Austin. I told you, you were an idiot for trying to take down a whole damn nest by yourself and you kept looking at me with those dove lookin’ eyes.”

I smiled. I remembered that. It was a few months ago and I was indeed an idiot. He and Sam almost died and I had to do something. I was reckless and instead of coming up with a plan I let my machete go wild.

“Well it’s not my fault you’re hot when you’re angry.”

I could feel his smirk before I kissed him, this time cupping his cheek with my hand. He immediately kissed back, pulling me closer to him like that was even possible. This time, one kiss turned into another and another. We both didn't want to pull away; his hands hesitantly started roaming under my shirt, instantaneously sending shivers all over my body. I took his hands, breaking the kiss.

“Touch me. I'm yours,” I whispered before kissing him again, not being able to get enough. I could feel his little smirk against my lips as he tugged on my shirt trying to take it off. I took it off and in seconds he took his. My mind was focused on him and only him as I felt his soft skin under my fingertips.

You're going to be the death of me.

Likewise, sweetheart.

This time I smiled between kisses. I liked that nickname, I couldn’t wait to actually hear it out loud. He wasted no time before he pushed me onto the bed and straddle me; his lips not leaving mine. We were like two addicts; we couldn't stop; we didn't want to stop. He pressed his hips on mine and I could feel him, pressed against my wet center. A soft moan escaped my lips as my fingers tugged on his damp hair. He moved his lips on my neck, while his hand found my center. A light brush was enough to make me moan his name. I was so sensitive, so vulnerable underneath him; he was consuming every reverie of my mind.

I was growing impatient, but he knew that, and now I couldn't hide anything from him anymore. The bond was stronger now, we didn't even have to try to communicate with one another; it was like breathing.

I lowered his boxers as much as I could and wrapped my hand around his hard dick, earning a groan from him. I pumped him a few times, as my impatience became his. He kissed me before standing on his knees and took my panties off. He stopped for a second.

Adoration – I could feel it through the bond. He was making me blush in the dark; my cheeks growing warm.

You're so beautiful.

Before I could answer him, he positioned himself between my legs and slowly entered me, stretching me nice and slow; his lips found mine again as he swallowed my gasp and slowly started to move. My legs wrapped around his hips, wanting more, more and more…

I was about to get drunk and see stars. My hands were around his neck before I cupped his face. He broke the kiss when we both couldn't breathe, biting my shoulder lightly, his pace becoming faster.

My mind only knew his name as I was chanting it over and over again, like a sweet prayer. He nuzzled his head in my neck, kissing it sloppily.

“You feel so good, sweetheart,” he whispered in my ear.

I was in a complete haze, unable to muster anything but his name.

His nose resting on my cheek, he placed a soft kiss only to swallow my moans once more, as we both started to fall apart.

“Dean, I-,” I wasn't able to speak, I could feel it in the pit of my stomach and I could tell, feel, he wasn't going to last much longer.

“I know, baby. I know. I can feel it,” he said and I wasn't sure if he could feel it through the bond or if my body was telling him – or both.

My moans became desperate; with that voice Dean could make me do whatever his little heart desired.

We came in sync, eyes locked and growing breathless. He couldn't keep my name out of his mouth and I didn't want him to. When he pulled out and laid next to me we were both panting and growing sleepier. I lazily moved closer to him, kissing his shoulder as he immediately wrapped his hand around my torso and pulled me close.

“And you thought we'd just cuddle,” he chuckled.

I raised my head to look at him.

“You heard me?”

“Yeah, we have to figure out how to not hear each other's thoughts all the time.”

“Well…” I started and he just shot me a death glare.

“I ain't meditating.”

I cupped his face, squeezing his cheeks lightly making his lips pout.

“Fine,” I said and gave him a pack on the lips, “we will find another way.”

“Thank you.”

I stayed in his arms until we both fell asleep. He played with my hair and I drew small circles on his chest. He asked me about the research – what I found, what I didn't – asked me about us.

“If it's meant to be it's meant to be,” my eyelids grew heavy as I mumbled the words and drifted to sleep.

Dean kissed my forehead and closed his eyes.

***

I could feel Dean’s hands pulling me closer to him, his fingers digging into my flesh as my ears heard him say my name in a form of whisper. I lazily opened my eyes not knowing if he was awake or not. His fingers dug into my stomach as he repeatedly called me in a frantic tone.

He’s dreaming.

“Dean?” I turned around and even in complete darkness my eyes registered his clenched jaw, while my body felt the stiffness of his.

“Dean?” I repeated again and nuzzled my head under his chin and placed a gentle kiss on his neck. I knew what he was dreaming about – I was dying again and he was trying to save me.

Dean, baby wake up!

I told him through the bond as I stroked his soft hedgehog-like hair. I could sense the fear lingering within him as his eyes shot open, his breathing came in uneven gasps and his chest was rising and falling frantically. I wrapped my hand around his torso and embraced him in a tight hug as the weight of the nightmare still lingered.

“I’m here,” I repeated a couple of times, giving him the reassurance I knew he needed.

“It’s just a dream, Dean.”

His breathing became stable again.

“You died,” eventually he told me. The fear was gone and replaced with sadness – sadness so somber and heavy I only felt once when Charlie died.

“No, I didn’t. I’m here,” I told him and placed his hand on my chest.

“I’m right here,” I said before kissing him. A sigh of relief left his lips.

“I feel like I’m gonna lose it…the same dream over and over.”

He was desperate, so desperate for answers it made my soul ache, but I knew this wasn’t the time.

“I know, and we will figure it out. Sleep baby, I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered before kissing him lovingly. His hand found my cheek as I broke the kiss resting my forehead against his.

“Your struggles are mine. Your sadness is mine. You're mine,” I told him as my legs intertwined with his. My hand was on his chest, feeling his heart beating faster. Something was traveling through the bond, something lovely and warm I could only describe it as love. Suddenly I heard it; a whisper traveling through the bond: I love you, before he kissed me again.

I love you too.

Tagged: @lacilou , @littlemadamred , @girls-alias , @captainannatheweirdo , @nancymcl

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petpenname · 1 month

Text

❤️Red Wine Supernova❤️

pairing: dealer!ellie williams x introverted(f)reader cw. : smoking, drinking summary: modern college au, slow burn with some sad elements, inspired by Red Wine Supernova by Chapel Roan Parts: 1. I Just Want to Get To Know You 2. Mini Skirt and My Go-Go Boots 3. I Don't Care That You're A Stoner + Epilogue: Falling Into Me a/n: bittersweet ending to my first fic 🥺

Part 3

I Don’t Care That You’re a Stoner

The following week was busy. On monday you started a class project worth 40% of your grade and the prep for it was drowning you. On top of your other classes you barely had time for yourself. Which is why you were actually looking forward to tonight. There was another party at House 09 and Sage promised to stay by your side and make tonight worth it. But a certain green eyed girl took up residence in your mind, refusing to vacate.

On that Friday, in the late afternoon, you were sprawled across Sage’s bed, with her on the floor, passing a joint between you.

“I don't know dude, we texted for a bit Sunday but I haven't heard from her all week. I didn't even see her in the cafe.” you sigh, pulling out your phone to check the message thread between you and Ellie again.

“Damn, but she kissed you right?” Sage says from the floor. “That's so weird, maybe she's just busy with school?”

“Yeah maybe, I don't even know what she studies. She's kind of a nerd though, it's cute. She wanted to watch this space movie together.”

“You should totally invite her over this weekend!” Sage says sitting up right. “Oh my god it would be so cute! And I could buy from her, I'm running low” She giggles, looking down at her close to empty stash jar.

“You know what, ya! I'm going to text her. I kept waiting for her to text first, I just didn't want to bother her.”

“You aren't going to bother her! Send the text” Sage smiles at you, and puts out the rest of the joint before standing to stretch.

You organize a text after a few tries:

Hey Ellie! Want to come over Hiii, when do you want to watch that movie? My place, this weekend. You. me. Space movie y/n: hey ellie hope u r well! Want to watch that movie at my place this weekend?

“Okay I sent it!” you say chucking your phone away from you.

“Good job!” Sage says, giving you a thumbs up. “Now let's start getting ready!”

You shower and do your makeup in Sage’s room with the rest of the girls. Sage had the biggest space and the best lighting which made it the prime spot for your roommates to get ready together.

Phoebe and Ivy are discussing recent events from a class they share and the drama that went down between a few students. You try your best to focus and be in the moment but each second that goes by without a response makes your heart sink. Memories of the previous weekend flash in your mind. The taste on your lips left by the auburn haired girl disappeared too soon, leaving you wanting more. You didn't want to come on too strong, too forward, worried you would scare Ellie off when you didn't even know what she wanted. You check your phone again, your message was delivered, but not read. Your heart falls a little lower.

“Hellooooooo, y/n” you tune into Olivia's voice calling to you. “You okay? You've been quiet, more than usual”

“Hmm? ya , sorry, I'm good! I just haven't heard from Ellie all week.” You say with a shrug. You never liked putting your hurt onto others, choosing to brush it off and face it on the inside than over share.

“Maybe she will be at the party tonight!” Ivy suggests. “Arent her and Dina roommates? And Dina is dating Jessie right? If you see them you could ask them about her?”

“Oh maybe.” The thought of that made your stomach flip. You had never talked to Dina or Jessie and you definitely didn't want to seem like a crazy lover girl. “We will see, can you pass me that eyeshadow Pheebs?”

“Here ya go babe!” Phoebe hands you a green shimmer shade that looks oddly familiar…

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hours later you and Sage are side by side facing down two of the H09 guys in a competitive game of beer pong. Sage and you are surprisingly winning and both are on a high -figuratively and literally. You were actually having a really fun time. You’ve been nursing a hard seltzer since you got there but had indulged with Sage in a few seshes.

“OHH FUCK YA!” Sage exclaims, landing another shot in a red solo cup.

“Drink up guys!” You say, backing up your roommate's excitement.

“Oh don’t sound so excited! It's my turn next” Says a very confident resident, you think his name is Cole?

And Cole was right. He ends up sinking each and every one of your remaining cups, securing the boys a win. They celebrate and you all exchange good games.

“Damn dude! You want to redeem ourselves?” Sage says, turning to you with fire in her eyes.

“I'm down in a sec! Gotta go to the bathroom.” You say. “I'll be right back!”

You leave Sage and navigate through the house. You have to pass through the kitchen and a hallway to get to the bathroom. You move slowly, shifting around drunk bodies left and right. As you pass through the hallway your attention is drawn into the living room where people are dancing. Your eyes land on a familiar figure facing away from you. Tall and lean with her hair half tied up, for some reason you just knew it was Ellie, and it stopped you in your tracks. A rush went through you, she was here! She really was just busy! You start to move towards her until your eyes fall upon someone else. Ellie was talking to a girl in front of her, although you couldn't hear the conversation over the music. The girl had this look in her eye that you recognize all too well. She was swaying back and forth and just the nature of her demeanor told you she was flirting. You were confused, but unable to form a thought long enough before the girl moved her arms to wrap around Ellie’s neck pulling her closer.

You turn away. Ears ringing, your vision tunneled, you could assume what happened next. Your feet moved without warning, your mind instantly dissociating. You left.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What the fuck get off!” Ellie says loudly, pushing off the girl's arms around her.

“Aww come on don’t be like that El!”

“You said you wanted to buy Cat. You know we’re fucking done.”

“God, ya, my friend did. Whatever, you don't know what you're missing.”

“Oh I know, lose my number.”

Ellie storms away, she needs a shot, something to shed the feeling of her ex on her. She had just gotten back to Jackson a few hours ago. Having to go home for a week left many buyers dry so she had her work cut out for her at this party. She just didn’t realize her ex would be here.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ivy! Ivy, where are you?” Sage shouts through the house, appearing in the kitchen.

“Shit Dude! right here! What?” Ivy sat on the counter, Phoebe next to her cutting limes.

“Guys have you seen y/n? She said she was going to the bathroom but that was like twenty minutes ago!” Sage looks at her roommates worried.

“Nope, haven't seen her, maybe she just went home?” Phoebe suggests

“She usually does, I'm sure she's fine!” Ivy reassures.

“I don't know guys, she would have texted us! Oh, Ellie!” Sage catches Ellie as she comes in from a sesh in the backyard.

“Hey Sage, you want tobuy–”

“Have you seen y/n??” Sage practically yells at Ellie.

“What? She’s here?” Ellie looks around in anticipation. You had been on her mind all week. But with other stressful matters at hand she couldn't bring herself to text you when she wasn't feeling her best. Something you two had in common.

“I mean she was! But i can’t find her and she hasn't texted me, and-” “Wait dont you have her location?” Ivy says through a mouthful of chips

“Oh shit ya!” Sage flicks to your contact, pulling up your location which pings close by, right in…

“The forest? What the fuck is she doing in there?” Sage exclaims, turning the phone to show the girls. “Oh my god what the hell i don't even know how to get over there!”

“Oh fuck,” Ellie says. “I know where she is.” Pheobe, Ivy and Sage all look at Ellie, with equally confused ‘you do?’ looks on their faces. “Do you know why she would be out there?”

“She might have wanted some peace? I'll go get her, I showed her the way.” Ellie says, turning to leave. She felt protective over you, she had no idea why you were out there but she knew she had to get to you.

“Want us to come?” Sage says, moving with Ellie

“Nah it's okay, I need to talk to her anyway… uh i'll text you when I find her okay?” Ellie says, reassuring Sage.

“Okay you fucking better Williams” Sage says before letting Ellie run out the house.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cold from the concrete crept up your thighs while the liquor burned in your throat. You didn't know how long you had been out here but tears pooled stains on your jeans and a half drunk bottle of tequila kept you company. You must have grabbed it on your way out. You weren't sure, you weren’t focusing on anything right now in attempts to keep images of arms wrapped around her strong frame out of your mind. Only the sound of your sniffles and the creek beneath you rang through the forest.

*Crack*

You instantly perked up, attention drawn. Through the buzz your mind formed a realization. You were out in these woods alone, at night, and more than under the influence.

*crack*CRACK*

You stand up, almost tripping, straining your eyes to see in the darkness for any sign of movement. Your eyes catch light fumbling through the brush, a flashlight?

The light gets closer and you hear footsteps over the soft ground. “y/n? Are you over here?”

A voice you longed to hear, a siren in the night, it caught you off guard and you were silent for a second before speaking.

“El.. Ellie?” You say between sniffles and hiccups”

“Oh my god, y/n! Thank god, everyone was looking for you… hey what's wrong?” Ellie approaches you, noticing the bottle of liquor in your hands, your unstable movements and the tears drawing mascara down your cheeks.

Arms wrap around Ellies neck in your mind, you see her kissing another girl, your heart ignites on fire.

“No. no i'm fine. I was just leaving.” You say trying to compose yourself. You suddenly felt embarrassed of your state, not wanting Ellie to see you like this and in no mood to talk to her. You take a step forward trying to move around Ellie but end up tripping, falling right into her.

“Hey how much have you had to drink? We should get you home.” Ellie stabilizes you, then pulls your chin up so you're looking at her. “Why are you crying baby?”

You jerk your head away from her hand, the liquor fueling a wound within you that too many have deepend. “I-donneed to tell u anythin! *hiccup* Why don’t you jus go back tothe party? Just leave me be like they all do.” You turn away from her, taking another swig of liquor.

Ellie grabs the bottle from your lips, “i don't think you need any more of that come on you're not making any sense.”

“OH i'm not making sense? What about you!?” Your last conscious brain cells form a coherent thought as everything you wanted to say comes out at once.

“I thought you were so sweet when you brought me here and kissed me but then you didn’t talk to me all week and when i do see you you’re kissing some other girl and i don even know why i try anymore-”

“Wait, wait what” Ellie tries to slow your ramble.

“because no one actually wants to be with me-”

“Y/N!” Ellie shouts. Not angrily, more stern, but it shuts you up.

“I haven't kissed anyone tonight, what are you talking about?” Ellie looks genuinely confused, and worried at your sudden outburst.

“Don lie! I saw you with that girl in the living room. She had her hands all over you.” You couldn't bring yourself to look her in the eyes, as tears started flowing again.

“Oh my.. fuck..” shes says under her breath. Ellie was pissed off at her ex for causing her more problems. “Y/N, listen to me. That was my ex, she told me she wanted to buy but I should have known better. I pushed her off of me and definitely didn't kiss her. Trust me I have no intentions on getting back with her.”

Your mind takes a second to process this information, through sniffles and tears you come to realize what Ellie is saying. “Oh my god,... im so fucking stupid” you say, bending down into a small ball. Now you really just wanted to disappear. You hadn't talked to this girl for more than three days and you were already making assumptions and being heartbroken over nothing?!

“Hey no you’re not!” Ellie crouches down next to you, rubbing your back. “I'm sorry you had to see that, I wish I knew you would have been there tonight, we could have gone together.” “You could have texted me back…” you say, collecting yourself a little more.

“I know.. I know I should have. I'm sorry, I was just dealing with a lot this week and I honestly didn't expect you to be here tonight. I just wanted to sell and go home.”

You stay silent, not really knowing how to move forward with the conversation. You were uncomfortable sharing so much emotion to someone you just met but at the same time you wanted to be close to Ellie. A shiver goes down your spine, and your teeth chatter a bit as a breeze blows by.

“You cold hun? Here take my jacket” Ellie stands, removing her hoodie and putting it around you. “Why don’t we go back to the house? We could just talk and sit for a bit? Warm up?” You nod, accepting Ellies hand to help you up and guide you out of the forest. On the walk back Ellie texts Sage that she found you, letting her know she's bringing you home and staying with you for a bit.

You walk back in silence, hand in hand, tension brewing as you and Ellie both run circles in each other's minds. You unlock the door to your house and let Ellie in. Too faded to care that much you lead her up the stairs and into your room. You toss your bag and shoes in the corner, grab your blanket and wrap yourself in it before sitting on your bed, back against the wall. Facing a very awkward Ellie, standing in one place looking everywhere but you. She didn't exactly expect to be in your room tonight.

“Can you take your shoes off?” You ask, breaking the silence. “You can also come sit over here if you want.” you pat the space on the bed next to you.

“Ohshitya! Sorry…” Ellie says, fumbling to take her shoes and jacket off. It takes her a sec to untie her dirty converse, she slips them off, crosses the room then settles herself down next to you. You are both a jumble of nerves and anxieties colliding together as you speak over each other.

“So-” ellie starts

“I Invited-” you say

“Oh, shit”

“No sorry- you go ahead”

Ellie takes a breath. “I'm sorry I didn't text you this week. I had to go back home, my dad got hurt and needed someone to watch over him.”

“Oh, shit is he okay?” You say, cursing yourself for thinking worse of the poor girl.

“Yeah! Yeah he’s good now, had to go to the hospital but he's feeling a lot better.” Ellie says, a smile of relief on her face.

“That's good, I'm glad to hear Ellie.” You take a moment to formulate your thoughts before continuing. “I'm sorry for being a lot… I didn't mean to scare anyone. I just, well I wasn't thinking really..”

“Hey, it's okay.” Ellie moves to put a hand on your leg, “you're not a lot, and plus, i can handle it.” She winks at you, lightening the mood a little, allowing you to stifle a laugh.

“So does this mean you accept my movie invite?.” you ask.

“Well I'm already here huh babe?” Ellie says, rubbing circles on your thigh.

You look down at her hand. You loved it when she called you those names but you still didn't know where you were at with her.

“Ellie?”

“Yeah?”

“What are we?”

A beat goes by and Ellie gives you a funny look before you realize how cringey you must have sounded.

“Oh fuck did i really just say that? God we do not have to have the "what are we" conversation, forget I said anything.” you cover your face in embarrassment.

Ellie laughs, your embarrassment even cuter to her because of the context. “I dont know y/n what do you want us to be?”

You pause for a moment before peaking out from behind your hands. Ellie is looking at you with such a sweet expression, you can see the love in her eyes. Your ears get hot and your face gets red, forcing you back behind your arm-wall of protection. “Oh god,” you sigh at yourself for getting you into this. Which is exactly where you wanted to be really - Ellie Williams is in your BED!!! Why was it so hard to face what you wanted?

“You know…” Ellie says. “I was going to wait until it was like an appropriate time but it seems you forced my hand” she teases. “y/n?”

“Hmmm?” you say from your cocoon

“Will you look at me, pretty girl?”

Your stomach flips and despite the heat rising in your body you will yourself to look at Ellie.

Eye contact that could last a lifetime. You flick back and forth between her eyes, taking in her whole appearance. Your room was lit with a few lamps and salt lamps casting an orange hue on the both of you. You were inches away from each other, the energy swirling between you, anticipating connection.

“y/n, would you like to be my girlfriend?” Ellie asks, holding her breath and searching for a response.

You blink, forcing your mind to make quick understanding of her ask.

“Girlfriend?” you say, half in shock, half making sure you heard her right.

“Girlfriend.” Ellie says, bringing her hand to your cheek.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Aw shit wait!” Ellie pauses the movie right before the opening credits start.

“Babeeee come on! What did you forget now?”

“Y/n, i am so sorry, but there is no way I can watch a movie about space without being in space.” You both laugh at her stupid joke.

“Ellie, I don't care that you’re a stoner. You just have to share! Girlfriend rules!” You say jumping up from the bed.

“My girl always smokes for free,” Ellie says, sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling you in between her legs to kiss you.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Epilogue

Falling Into Me

“I found the umbrella!” Ivy shouts into the house

“Okay I got sunscreen, towels, uhh food, water, weed hehe” Sage is standing by the door surveying the group's bags.

“We’ll start packing the cars” Phoebe says, Daniel next to her grabbing the cooler.

“y/n! Ellie! Let's go!” Olivia yells up the stairs.

—--------------

“How do I look babe?”

“Holy shiit….” Ellie turns around to look at you modeling a new bathing suit. You’re in your room, the sun illuminating your frame and dancing in Ellie's eyes. “I need you… like right now”

You hear Olivia call up the stairs. “Well you gotta wait, you'll just have to eye fuck me all day.” you say with a giggle. The way that Ellie appreciates you in every way has made your confidence skyrocket. You had come out of your shell to her more in the past two months than you have with anyone. It wasn't surprising though. Sage had said with the way that you two look at eachother, it's like you had been searching your whole lives and finally found each other.

“Fuck youre such a tease” Ellie says grabbing at you with needy hands and soft kisses on your neck.

“Mmm common Ellie we gotta go-AA!” You feel sharp fangs in place of her kisses. Ellie bites you a little harder than she thought, pulling away with the goofiest grin, looking so proud of herself.

“Did you just put your canine teeth in the side of my neck!?” You ask, looking at her in shock.

“Yep!” Ellie says, still smiling, she grabs your chin and tilts your head so she can see her dirty work. “Oh shit..” Ellies face turns to shock as she tries not to laugh, amused with herself.

“Babe.. whaaat” You say, releasing from her grasp and going over to your mirror. There on the side of your neck you see small indents in your skin from where she bit you. In the same reflection you see Ellie behind you, unable to control her laughter now at the situation.

“I marked you babe!” She laughs, standing in the sunlight, wearing a pair of swim trunks, an old t-shirt, bucket hat and crocks. Summer had come fast bringing heat and passion as your relationship with Ellie bloomed.

You stood there half in shock, half in awe at your life now. Looking at the girl you were so happy to call yours. Memories of the past two months cycled through your mind. Your late night movie dates, studying in the cafe together, sitting at what you now consider ‘our spot’ in the woods, talking endlessly with each other. You turn back to your girl, lunging playfully at her, falling into her.

“You come here now! I have to mark you too!”

------------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist: @vqxen @bready101 @sourgummywormsss @a-little-bit-of-everybody @shewantstoknow @liasxeatt @onlinelesbo

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie smut #ellie tlou #ellie williams smut #the last of us

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 3 months

Text

The Missing Piece

A/N: Just to let you know, Steve’s scar story is a true story that happened to me when I was younger that I didn't realize was so awful until I told it someone. Halfway writing about Rosa, I realized that I was thinking of Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn 99. So, loosely based on her.

Steve doesn't like to talk about his parents much. It's not that he hates them or anything. They weren't around enough for him to have a reason to hate them. He doesn't really know them well enough. They don't hit him or anything, and they pretty much leave him alone when they are around, only talking to him to remind him not to embarrass them, which is fair. So, they're not terrible parents. Not really.

"Hey, I have to ask. How'd you get that scar on your upper lip?" Eddie asked.

Steve had invited Eddie and Robin over to hang out at his house. It was safe to say that Eddie was quickly becoming their best friend as well. Although there was this fuzzy feeling in his stomach that told Steve that Eddie might mean something more.

"I'm such a klutz," Steve said chuckling.

"It's true, he is," Robin said.

"So, you know the story," Eddie said.

"No."

"Okay, fine. Fine. When I was younger, I went grocery shopping with my mother, but the sounds and everything always overwhelmed me even now, but I like to think I'm better at handling it. Anyway, I used to scream my head off, it made shopping hard for my mother, and she quickly got tired of having to bring me to the restroom to pop me in the mouth. She finally came up with a solution to just leave me in the car while she shops. I was okay with it for a while, but I didn't like how sleepy the hot car made me, so I tried running after her. I slipped and fell on the pavement. Busted my lip pretty good. My mom ripped me a new one for not listening to her. I was a shitty kid," Steve said, smiling fondly.

There was silence as Robin and Eddie stared at him.

"What?"

"Did you know this about his mom?" Eddie asked.

"No! I would have killed her!" Robin exclaimed, horrified.

"Where was your dad in all of this?" Eddie asked.

"Away on business like always or cheating on my mom," Steve said.

"Why are you saying it so casually?!" Robin asked.

"You're his best friend, shouldn't you know these things about him?!" Eddie exclaimed.

"Excuse me, she knows plenty of things about me. Like my favorite colors are yellow, blue, and pink. She knows I like blueberries and snap peas. She knows I'm bisexual. She knows that I lost my virginity to a guy - "

"I do NOT! You're bisexual?!" Robin said.

"I told you in October!" Steve exclaimed.

"I thought you were talking about getting a new bicycle!" Robin exclaimed. "You lost your virginity to a guy?"

Steve leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"I told you about Tommy," Steve said.

"I thought you said Tammy," Robin whispered back, and then she waved her hands about. "Okay. Okay. Look, whenever Steve did talk about his parents, I always thought they were boring, stuffy, rich people, not abusive assholes!"

"They're not abusive. You have to actually be around for them to be abusive. I mean, honestly, they could be, but I don't know them very well," Steve shrugged.

"I don't think I was in this much denial when my own dad walked in and out of my life," Eddie said as he paused and placed his hands on Steve’s shoulders. "Steve, sweetheart - "

"You called me sweetheart," Steve said with a crooked smile, and he giggled softly.

"Yeah, I did do that. Focus," Eddie said. "How often did your parents leave you alone so often?"

"Oh, they decided that I didn't need a nanny anymore so. . .8! Yeah, eight. Although, I kept calling her mom up until I was about four. I cried like a baby when I found out they fired her, and a year later, when I found out she died in a car accident," Steve said, looking sad. "She taught me Spanish, you know, and she used to make me spaghetti with hot dogs. I loved it. You would have loved her, Robin. You remind me of her sometimes."

"Steve, why don't you talk about her?" Robin asked.

"It hurts too much to talk about. I do think about her. What would she think of me now? Would she be proud of me? Would she still love me?" Steve shrugged. "I wasn't even allowed to go to her funeral. I don't even know where she's buried."

"Sweetheart, what was her name?" Eddie asked softly.

"Rosa," Steve said, and tears came to his eyes. "Rosa Sanchez."

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose to stop the tears from coming. Eddie grabbed his hand and pulled it away.

"Let them come," he said softly. "No one is here to tell you not to."

Steve burst into tears and fell into Eddie's arms.

"He always told me that Harrington men don't cry!" Steve sobbed.

"Everyone cries. Your parents were abusive, uncaring, and the most awful people on the planet. Rosa was your mom, in everything but blood, Rosa was your mom, and you should be allowed to mourn for her," Eddie said.

Steve buried his face into Eddie's neck and let it all come out. Robin came up behind him and hugged him tightly. Eventually, it became hard to hold him up, so they moved him to the couch, where he fell asleep, crying into their laps. Eddie gazed lovingly at him as he stroked Steve’s hair.

"You're totally in love with my platonic soulmate, aren't you?" Robin asked.

"He makes it easy," Eddie replied.

"We have to find out where Rosa is buried," Robin said.

"And we know just the person to crack this case," Eddie said.

"Nancy," Robin and Eddie said in unison.

The next morning, Steve woke up to find Eddie snoring in his face. They were curled up on the couch, their legs intertwined. Steve could feel Eddie's hand pressed up against the small of his back. Steve's shirt had bunched up during the night, so Eddie's hand was touching his skin. The touch caused a fuzzy feeling to spread throughout his body, and it also made his head buzz. Steve bit his lip and brushed his knuckle against Eddie's cheek. It caused his body to shudder and Eddie to startle himself awake. He almost jumped right out of Steve's arms, but Steve threw his leg over his hip and pressed him back down on the couch.

"I don't think so. I'm quite comfortable," Steve grinned.

"Uh, so, how are you?" Eddie asked, his nose suddenly brushing up against Steve's.

"Good. . .better and much lighter, like there's a weight off my shoulders," Steve said. "It's all because of you and Robin. Thank you."

"Anything for you," Eddie said honestly. "I'm glad we can be of help. You should know that Robin left. She had to talk to Nancy about something."

"Anything that I should know about?" Steve asked.

"Not yet," Eddie said.

"Hmm, okay, I trust you," Steve said with a happy sigh as he nuzzled his nose against Eddie's. "Can I kiss you?"

"You want to kiss me?" Eddie asked, his eyes widening comically.

"Mm-hm," Steve said. "Very much."

"Okay."

Steve pressed his lips against Eddie's with another happy sigh. Eddie wrapped his arms around Steve's shoulders, pulling him deeper as Steve flipped him onto his back. Steve's heart was singing with how well their bodies fit together. . .how well they fit together like two perfect puzzle pieces. Steve broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against Eddie's.

"You make me so happy," Steve said.

"Ridiculous idea but I'll accept the fact that Steve Harrington says that I, Eddie Munson, makes him happy," Eddie said and paused. "You make me happy too."

The next few weeks flew by, and they were spending all their time together. It was complete bliss for the both of them and Steve was so glad that there wasn't the expectation of sex. They had both agreed that it would be better for their relationship, and it was. It wasn't hanging over their heads like they thought it would. They were just enjoying each other's company. They had already come out to the group so when Joyce and Hopper had a little get together there wasn't any pressure to hide their relationship.

"It's so nice that everyone can come together like this," Dustin said.

"Uh, you're missing someone, genius," Max said.

"Who?" Dustin said.

"Nancy isn't here," Steve replied, his arm wrapped loosely around Eddie's waist.

"Oh, shit," Dustin cursed. "Where is she?"

"She called and said she would be by later," Robin said.

"You know something," Steve said with narrowed eyes.

"It's good, I promise!" Robin said. "At least, that's what Nance said but she wouldn't say exactly what was good about it, just that it was good, and it was good for you."

"Okay, I'm trusting you guys," Steve shrugged.

Nancy didn't show up until an hour later, and Steve was now sitting on the porch with Eddie in his lap as he talked animatedly to Dustin. Steve's hands were firmly on his hips because if they weren't on his hips, Steve knew that if Eddie got too excited, he would start bouncing and he did not need that happening in the middle of the party.

"Steve," Joyce called out from inside the house.

"Be right there," Steve replied and got up before depositing Eddie back into the chair.

"Aww, my comfy chair is leaving," Eddie said and Joyce's head popped back out the door.

"You might want to come, too," Joyce said.

Eddie shared a look with Steve before taking his hand and walking into the house. Joyce was standing around the table with Hopper, El, and Nancy.

"What's going on?" Steve asked.

"Nancy told us about Rosa, your real mother. She also told us about your parents," Joyce said and hugged him. "I'm sorry but Nancy does have good news for you."

She squeezed his arm before pulling away. Steve turned and looked at Nancy with confusion.

"When Robin told me about Rosa, I had to find out where she was buried. With the help of Hopper and El, I was able to find her. When your parents fired her, she fought like hell to stay with you but finally, they threatened her by threatening you and so she left because she wanted to protect you," Nancy said, tears in her eyes. "I never found a gravestone, not even a death certificate. I didn't. . . because Rosa's still alive. . . Rosa?!"

Steve's heart stopped when the woman he had been missing every single day of his life walked into the room. . . the woman he thought had died. The last time he had seen her was when he was eight years old, and he had tried to get to her stay. He remembered the last word that he had uttered as she walked out the door, the word he had promised his parents that he would never call her. . . the word that came out now.

"Mama?!" Steve sobbed.

Rosa let out a strangled cry and rushed toward him, throwing herself into his arms. Steve put his arms around his nanny. . . no, his mother for the first time in years. He immediately began rambling in Spanish.

"Steve, Steve, slow down. You're going to make yourself sick," Rosa said as she brushed away his tears. "Oh, you've grown so much."

"Sorry, I know my Spanish is a little rusty," Steve said. "I haven't used it in a while."

"You will learn again," Rosa laughed. "My curious little boy, you've always had search thirst for knowledge. Always wanting to know the answer to everything."

"It took me forever to learn things. You know that I used to crawl backwards," Steve muttered.

"We learn in different ways," Rosa said. "You still learned and eventually you did start crawling forwards and who did you start crawling towards?"

"You, mama, always you," Steve said and she patted his cheek with a proud smile.

"I'm proud of you. I've heard you've got a big family now," Rosa said. "Introduce me."

"But first. . .," Steve said, looking at Eddie questioningly, and Eddie nodded. "I want you to meet my boyfriend, Eddie."

"Do you make him happy?" Rosa asked.

"That's what he keeps telling me," Eddie grinned. "He makes me happy, too."

"Then I am happy," Rosa said and hugged Eddie.

Steve grabbed his mother's hand and led her outside.

"Hey guys, you want to meet my mom?" Steve asked, laughing as everyone surrounded them.

Steve grinned as he told them the story, his heart filling with joy. The hole that had been left there was now gone as the most important person in his life was now found again. All the pieces had now come together.

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violetarks · 1 year

Text

visitor

show: alice in borderland

character: chishiya shuntaro

summary: you visit your idiot brother at the while he's injured and in the process, meet someone new. you caught his eye and now you have another reason to visit so often.

warnings: g/n! reader, they/them pronouns used, spoilers for season 2 episode 8

"you're so dumb!" you call as you walk into the room, a doctor flailing behind you in worry. but you only focus your eyes on your brother, who lays in the bed fully, glancing back with you. an annoyed sigh leaves his lips before he closes his eyes. "i told you i'd pick you up! and then i get a call saying you were already there? and you were in an accident!"

niragi knew you'd be the first to come. the only, actually. but he could never deal with your shouting, especially not when it happened so frequently. it's been a day since the accident, and he has finally woken up.

you put your bag on the floor against the bedside table. "you could stand to listen to me at least once! this is why you're always getting hurt and i'm always the one checking up on you."

you made it sound like a hassle, but the both of you know that no matter what, you would stick by. you made a promise to yourself to make your brother a better person, and niragi vowed to protect you from the bullies in life. you needed each other.

"yeah, yeah, i got it. god, you're so fucking loud." he grumbles back to you, "can't you see i'm in pain?"

you hold your angry gaze before a bit of sadness falls in. you stand at his side, pressing a gentle hand to the bandages on his arm. "you look like shit, suguru." you mutter out under your breath, "the hell were you doing there so early? we were supposed to meet at 2!"

"i got tired of waiting! i was calling you to tell you to hurry the fuck up!" he exclaimed, making you drop your jaw, "how about you answer your phone next time, huh?"

you retract your hand, pointing an accusing finger at your brother. "i told you, moron, i was in a meeting! 2 was the earliest i can do!"

"ah, please... there are other patients in this room..." the doctor says, waving his hand to dismiss the situation, "we don't want to cause a ruckus..."

you look back to the doctor. "sorry, i forgot..." you say in a quieter tone. your eyes gaze upon the two other occupants in the room, both staring right back at you in frozen shock. you give a little bow. "i apologise, i just needed to talk to this... dumbass... but i promise, no more yelling."

"thank fuck."

"suguru."

"it's alright." the furthest one, in the corner near the window, says to you. he has a bandage on his cheek, and grins to you softly.

the one beside your brother, notably taking his eyes off of you and on your brother. "don't worry about it. this guy your boyfrend or something?"

"oh, hell no." you laugh, the doctor then leaving the room, deeming it safe, "he's my older brother."

suguru glares back at the man beside him. "are you stupid?"

in response, he raises his brow at the stranger's words. you widen your eyes and slap your brother's shoulder. "shut up, suguru!" you scoff, turning back to the strangers, "sorry about him, he can't read social cues... my name is y/n."

the black-haired man in the back sits up, throwing his legs off the side of the bed. "i'm arisu. it's nice to meet you." he says.

the blonde speaks up, "chishiya. it's a pleasure."

arisu stands up, holding his back a bit. "i'm going to go get a drink." he states, leaving the room.

chishiya keeps his eye on you. you were obviously so caring of your brother that you would berate him this much. but your tone conveyed an annoyed feeling. your face showed that you were stressed, but relief had washed over you when you realised he was as good as he could be.

"there's a chair here, stop standing there." suguru tells you, nodding to the space in between him and chishiya at the ends of their beds. you walk around, taking the spot, ignoring his ignorant voice.

"the doctors said they wanted to run you through a couple more tests." you say, your voice sounding softer now as you stare at your brother, "they're going to come in soon."

"more tests? fuck, they won't let me go." suguru grumbles, leaning his head back against the pillow. he hated the stares people gave him because of all the bandages on his face. he hated being small in their eyes. "whatever... you staying? or heading out after i leave?"

you think for a moment, tapping your knee, before you respond, "i'll stay. i want to talk to you some more before i leave."

as if on time, the doctor from earlier comes in, holding a clipboard with quite a few papers on it. "mr niragi, we've set up the rooms for testing." he claims, looking at the both of you, "although, there are many. this would take at least an hour."

suguru looks back at you as nurses come in, ready to transport him to the first test. "you still gonna' stay? you'll be lonely, like a loser." you give him a look.

"they won't be lonely." chishiya speaks up, leaning comfortably against the bed. he smiles at your brother, with some teasing hint behind it. "i'll keep them company."

"i already hate you." suguru claims, beginning to move out of the room while he hears your chuckle at chishiya's claim. soon enough, he's gone and the door is closed. just you and chishiya.

you rub the back of your neck with a big sigh, "he's going to be the death of me... i can't help but worry for that guy."

chishiya sits up, leaning away from the bed's support. "he does seem to be a bit of a handful." he says in response, "you have it all together for the both of you, hm?"

you shrug your shoulders, staring back at the guy. it was strange, he didn't look to be injured. "so what happened to you? if you don't mind me asking."

chishiya smiles, placing a hand over his stomach first. "impaled. twice, what are the chances?" he says, "missed any vital organs, so that's a plus."

"you sound weirdly fine with being impaled twice." you say, smiling awkwardly. chishiya shrugs. he grins back at you softly, and you can't help but stare for a few more seconds. he sure was pretty. "so... job?"

"is this a first date?" he raises his brow.

"i would hardly call this place suitable for a first date." you joke, shaking your head, "maybe when you're out of here."

chishiya stops, his brows lifting a little more and his lips parting. you were confident, he could give you that, it was obvious that you and suguru were related. the way you smile at his silence makes his chest squeeze, and he sits up straighter under your heavy gaze.

"i should be released in the next few weeks." chishiya states, tilting his head at you, "and to answer your question, i'm a medical student."

"smart." you say, impressed. chishiya nods his head, asking about your job. "i'm a part of a publishing firm."

"creative." he compliments.

the both of you talk for the hours that your brother is busy doing tests. usually, chishiya wouldn't spend all this time just speaking to a stranger. but you were kind and didn't make him feel uncomfortable in silences. you would fill them with questions or simply just explaining things about you and your brother. chishiya was glad you weren't the nervous type.

you began to come over more in your spare time, dropping off supplies for your brother and talking to him for a while with chishiya in the background listening. sometimes, suguru would be out on his walk or in physical therapy (without telling you so you couldn't follow) and you'd be in the hospital room waiting for his return. but it was okay, chishiya was always there to keep you company. he'd tell you all the things that the doctor's were saying about your brother, what it meant, and most importantly, his progress.

you learnt from what he told you that your brother would be sent home after a month. relief washed over you and you thanked him. chishiya was more than happy to help, especially seeing how glad that made you.

"do you know when you'll be released?" you questioned that same day he informed you of suguru's last day.

chishiya, who sits across from you in the open hospital yard at a coffee table, watches as you stir your drink. it was his idea to leave the room today and get some coffee or tea, feeling stuffy in that room (and quite lonely since his only friend arisu was occupied by some girl he heard named usagi) and you just happened to drop by as he was getting ready to leave, your brother out of sight. so he asked you to come along, enjoying your smile as you accept.

"itching for that first date?" he mutters to you, leaning back in his spot.

you chuckle, "that wasn't the point. you know, after suguru comes home, i won't have a proper reason to visit the hospital anymore. they only allowed family to come see the patients, with how many there are."

you made a good point there. chishiya doesn't think he's seen anybody other than you or arisu's father or brother come around to visit them. and judging by niragi's personality, he was surely stringing some girls behind, no?

"so, yeah, we can go out on a date when you're released. or we can just continue talking casually." you offer him, holding your drink, "i don't mind."

chishiya raises a brow. he's a bit suspicious. why would you be so willing to spend time around him? some sort of game? he hums, "you don't mind? really?"

you shrug your shoulders as you sip from your cup. when you place it down on the table, chishiya eagerly awaits your response. "i really don't. you know, i like spending time with you, chishiya."

he's only known you for a good two weeks. is that long enough to develop feelings?

he's heard stories from people he worked with and around. proposing on their anniversary, chasing them to the airport before they board, dating since they were fifteen. he's even heard of some couples who move in together mere months after dating. he used to think it was all too fast.

but was it okay for someone to fall in love that quickly?

he decides to test the waters, overturning his hand so his palm is presented to the person in front of him. "i like spending time with you too, y/n."

you reply with a simple grin, resting a gentle hand in his. "that's great. then we can hang out more once you're out of here."

"i'll be released next week. thursday, 9 in the morning." he states, confident that your hand was the only thing keeping him warm in the spring weather. you blink at him, making chishiya nervously tilt his head with a grin. "too soon for you?"

you shake your own head and say, "no, it's not that, it's just that you made it sound like i'd have to wait another fortnight for you to be out of the hospital." you squeeze his hand ever so gently. "i'll spare some time."

"did you want to get breakfast with me?" he asks, nearly too fast for his liking.

you mumble, "what day?"

"thursday." chishiya is confident he is coming off too strong. but who was around to tell him off?

you laugh in response, "now it sounds like you're the one who can't wait." he wants to crumble into the ground. "but sure, i can do thursday. have a spot in mind?"

a loud huff interrupts the both of you. suguru, in crutches, lands in the chair beside you as soon as chishiya goes to answer. he's almost like a bad luck charm. your brother is breathing heavily, leaning his crutches against the table as he lets out a hefty sigh.

"god fucking damn it, i hate these things." he tells you, throwing his head back. the nurse helping him before standing a few feet away to give you privacy, but it was obvious that they were trying to get your brother back to his room. "remind me to never break my leg ever again. this fuckin' sucks."

"i would think so." you murmur to him.

that's when his eyes suddenly go down to your hand, linked with chishiya's on the table. and now, he's confused.

"what the fuck is this?" he questions, furrowed brows. he stared stupidly at you two as you noticed your hands and pull away at the same time. his gaze turns to chishiya first. "you gotta' be messing with me. no way you fell for this smart-ass, y/n."

chishiya places a hand over his heart. "you wound me, niragi." he sarcastically says, finishing off his drink as he stands up, "i'll let the two of you talk. if you need me, i'll be in the room."

he doesn't get very far before you call his name again. chishiya turns around, watching you scribbling something on the spare napkin you brought took you with the pen the nurse so kindly provided. he can already guess what it is, and now he's even more sure this isn't real. nobody would actually write their phone number on a napkin, right?

"feel free to text or call me whenever." you say, handing it to him. and sure enough, it's the digits to your cell. accompanied by your name and a smiley face, as if he was one to received many numbers from pretty strangers such as yourself. "i'll see you before i leave."

chishiya pockets the napkin securely in his pocket, holding his hand there for safe keeping. "i'll keep an eye out. see you, y/n."

"bye, chishiya." you respond, watching as he walks back towards the main building.

suguru is going to throw up, is what chishiya hears him say. you two speak loudly that he can still catch what you are talking about.

"why him of all people? i woulda' accepted even arisu over that guy." suguru scowls, making you roll your eyes.

you mumble back, shaking your head, "don't be mean, you barely talk to him."

"that's a fucking lie, he belittles me when you're not around." he points out, glaring holes in the back of chishiya's head. he can feel them.

"well then, soon you'll only have to see him when i'm around." you claim, holding your chin in your hand as you smile to yourself, "so no problem."

suguru gets one look at you and sees that you're being dead serious. he groans, eyes up to the sky, "what do you see in a guy like him?"

you trace the rim of your mug. "i like him a lot. he's smart."

chishiya is out of earshot as soon as that's said, and he's almost glad. he doesn't want to walk around the hospital with some dumb smile on his face.

#chishiya shuntaro #chishiya shuntaro x reader #chishiya #chishiya x reader #alice in borderland #alice in boderland x reader #aib #aib x reader #alice in borderland chishiya #alice in borderland chishiya x reader #aib chishiya #aib chishiya x reader

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starsval · 10 months

Text

wonderland

remus lupin x reader

summary: you and remus find wonderland, or, you fall in love, even if it's not perfect.

word count: 7,7k

warnings: remus has a mullet because i said so, kissing, mentions of s*x lol, like, it happened, reader is pureblood so the cruciatus curse ig, punching, remus being mean, reader gets called a b*tch, lower case intended, no use of y/n

a/n: this took forever and i don't even think i like it, but still, thanks to @myriadmoons and @aastonishment for helping me writing this, love u<3

btw idk why i called this wonderland, it was originally called dancing with our hands tied but i didn't end up writing someone that fit, and for some reason there were lyrics of wonderland on the top of the document since i've been writing it so yeah

"how's my favourite girl doing?" sirius talks as he puts an arm over your shoulders, just as james takes the book out of your hands.

"sirius black and james potter talking to me when we're not at a pureblood party? what's happening?"

"don't be mean, you know we love you" james replies, putting the book behind his back, so you wouldn't be able to get it even if sirius let you go.

"we realised we rarely talk to you, which is sad because you're one of the only pureblood people we actually like" sirius then lets you go to play with your hair as he talks.

"so, we wanted to invite you to the party we're throwing tonight, at the gryffindor common room" james says, but he quickly looks behind you and his friend.

"you invite me to a party, so we can talk?" you ask, taking advantage of james' sudden distraction when regulus walks past to take your book back.

"yes, we want to get to know you" sirius is the one who talks now, unaware of the reason his friend suddenly stopped talking

"okay, i'll see you there" you tell them, walking away.

"what? really? was it that easy?" sirius asks, shocked.

"yes, i'll see you there, bye"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"they don't know that you always go to the parties?" lily asks as she puts on her earrings, looking on your mirror.

"i tend to hide from them" you tell them from your bed.

"why?" she questions, you shrug, unable to give her an answer.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"so, what's your type?" sirius finds you while you were choosing something to drink.

"what?" you ask him, accepting the drink he recommends you.

"what kind of person do you like, men, women, tall, short?"

"tall skinny men with messy mullets, when it looks like they'll break if you breathe too hard on them?" sirius' eyes seem to light up with your answer.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"she's just like you, she likes books and stuff, i swear you'll like her" sirius insists, following remus through the hall, heading to the library.

"books and stuff? that's all you know about me?"

"i'm telling you i found your soulmate and you care about that?"

"yes."

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you were in the library, focused on your book when three people sat on your table. you look up to find sirius, james and who you know is called remus, maybe your eyes focus on the last one for a bit when sirius talks.

"we need help" he says, pulling out a book.

"what?" you ask, uninterested in anything they have to say.

"we need help, you're like the smartest person we know" this time james is the one who talks.

"and why would i help you?"

"because you're a good person?" you don't change your expression "and we'll buy you chocolate the next time we go to hogsmeade"

"help with what?" this time, the boy that caught your eye talks.

"we need to learn how to do this charm" he points to the book, and maybe you look at his hand before reading the words he's pointing to. you also notice how sirius and james smile when remus talks.

"why would you need to know how to turn someone's clothes pink, permanently?" you ask, they all look at each other before looking at you. you sigh "why would i know how to do this?"

"i'd quite fall in love with you if you did" sirius talks. "but you're smart, you'll be able to learn it" you start packing your things. "is that a yes?"

"what do i win?" you ask, already standing.

"chocolate" you start to walk away, leaving the book there. "we'll give you alcohol at the next pureblood party" you smile before grabbing the book.

"i'll tell you as soon as i get it"

they all hear you say goodbye to peter before he sits.

"why did she talk to you?" james asks.

"we're friends?" peter explains, getting started with his homework.

"soooo… do you like her?" sirius asks remus, who just rolls his eyes before getting up.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next time he sees you, you're walking to him, who's reading at the library. you put the book with the charm before him, and quickly sit besides him.

"i know how to do the charm… " you wait for him to introduce himself.

"remus, remus lupin" he answers, putting his book aside.

"remus, right" you talk, like you didn't know his name before.

you explain how to do it, and after he gets the theory right, all there's left to do is practise it.

"i'll do one of his socks and you'll do the other one" you point at snape, who has glared at you since you've been here.

"i didn't expect you to be like this" remus says, smiling, before slowly pulling out his wand.

"what did you expect?"

"i don't know, sirius and james don't usually talk about you"

"i wonder why" you smile, before quietly charming one of snape's socks, turning it bright pink. "your turn"

remus copies your actions, successfully turning snape's left sock pink. you look at each other, quietly laughing, and quickly pack your things so you can walk out before he notices.

you walk next to him in the hallway, though neither of you know where you're going.

"what do you need the charm for?" you ask him.

"we're pranking someone" he explains.

"should i be scared?" you question and he chuckles.

"no, your clothes will be safe"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next time you talk, he's the one who approaches you.

"can i sit here?" he points at the chair next to you "i want to study but they're being to loud" you nod, and you talk as he sits.

"why don't you do a silent charm on them?" he chuckles.

"they'll find a way to be even louder"

and that's how it starts, neither of you know why, but since then, we you enter the library, you immediately look for each other.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"you're the one who did that research on werewolves aren't you? teachers don't stop talking about how good it is" some guy asks you as he stands in front of you, the table in between you two.

"yes" he was one of those pureblood guys, who only cared about their status.

"you didn't talk about them being bad people" you stare at him, trying to find out why he's telling you that. "i just thought you'd like someone to tell you about your mistake"

"it's not a mistake, they aren't bad people" you tell him.

"well, then you're wrong, they're obviously bad" he rolls his eyes, like it's obvious that he's right.

"did you just come here to talk shit about werewolves?" you focus on your homework, mentally aiming in case you have to throw something at him.

"no, i came here to see if you were a respectable pureblood, but let me guess, you fight for elves' rights too?" he seems upset with you, but he doesn't leave, instead, he looks at you like a challenge.

"what, you want me to join your cause too and fight for arseholes' rights? maybe we should put your face on the banner so they know how one looks" you smile sarcastically at him.

"what is wrong with you? i just wanted to let you know that werewolves are bad and you're being a bitch" he seems actually upset, his superior grin gone now.

"oh, so you were looking out for me? what would I do without people minding my business? now just shut up and maybe look into your prejudices instead of my life" you stop looking at him.

"how can you think that they aren't bad? i thought you were smart" now he seems offended that you aren't like he imagined, but maybe he thinks that he can change you, because he smiles again.

"sorry to disappoint you. and, something can be dangerous but good at the same time, just because they have claws doesn't mean they'd stab you, but maybe a girl who’s been bothered by you will" you say, as his eyes go to the pen on your hands.

“did you just threaten me?” he has the audacity to look offended as he talks.

“i don’t know, did i? a bitch like me wouldn’t know” you smile, faking innocence.

"you’re fucking crazy” he mutters as he turns around.

when he leaves -not before insulting you again-, neither of you notice a certain tall guy, with scars on his face and a knitted sweater standing around a bookcase, listening to all the conversation.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you don’t know how, but james and sirius convinced you to hang out with the marauders, maybe the mention of some boy with honey eyes and a mullet, but still. you find yourself on the gryffindor common room, listening to them as they tell you about their best pranks.

and remus must’ve sensed that you’re cold, because the next thing you know is that hes handing you his sweater.

“what?” you ask him

"you're cold" he shrugs.

"but, what about you?" you question, not taking the sweater.

"i'm fine, just put in on love" you obey, thanking him before looking back at james and peter, acting as you're not noticing sirius' smile.

when you finally get up to go back to your room, while peter, james and sirius are too distracted talking to frank, you take of the sweater and hand it to remus.

"what?" he asks, frowning.

"it's yours"

"you can give it to me other day"

"but i won't need it"

"love, just let me have an excuse to talk to you" he tells you, and you stop for a moment before answering, not believing him.

"you don't need an excuse to talk to me" he smiles.

"keep it anyway"

"if you insist" he kisses your cheek goodbye, and that night you're only thinking about him.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"please just this once" james asks, and it looks like he's actually going to beg you to help them.

"i don't have time for pranks" you walk away, and the four marauders immediately follow you.

"you just need to distract him" sirius talks, walking to stand in front of you.

"and why would i do that?" you ask, going around him.

"because you appreciate our friendship?" this time is peter who talks, and you actually think about it for a second.

"i don't-" before you can finish, remus intervenes.

"love, just this once, okay? then we won't bother you" and you know it's not true, that they will bother you. but every doubt you had disappeared as soon as he talked. so you nod.

"where is he?"

and that's how you find yourself talking to binns, asking him about his class, solving questions you never had.

then you see remus walking towards you, looking so innocent, and you keep nodding at binns, like you're so interested in what he's saying.

when he turns around due to the sound of an explosion that you definitely had no idea about, remus walks next to you, grabbing your hand, and suddenly you're running down the hallway next to him.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

remus’ face is so close to yours that your noses are practically touching as you giggle.

“why are we hiding?” you ask, a smile not leaving your face and his hand not letting go of yours.

“because, certain friends of ours are bothering me" he closes his eyes, his forehead on yours as he talks.

"what if they're not bothering me?" you joke, sarcasm in your tone.

"oh, so you're saying I dragged you into this cupboard?" he pulls away, his hand on your chest as he acts offended.

"yes, i didn't expect this behaviour from you, lupin" he rolls his eyes at the mention of his last name, as you laugh.

"then leave" he challenges, but his hand doesn't let go of yours.

"ok" you say, but you don't move.

when you walk out of the cupboard, both of you hear people talking.

"do you think they're dating?"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you're just peacefully lying on your bed, reading a book remus had lent you when someone opens your door. you assume it's one of your roommates when that someone approaches you, grabs the book from your hands, and turns you so you're on your back. just to lie on top of you.

"hi" you say, not sure what to do when he puts his head on your chest and closes his eyes.

"hi love" he replies. and after a while he lifts his head, grabs your hand and puts it on his hair.

"what are you doing?" you question him.

"touch my hair" he demands, and you don't, just to mess with him.

"what if i don't want to?" you smile, and he groans.

then, when he notices that you're being serious, he puts his head up once again, this time to glare at you.

he repeats his actions and puts your hand on his hair, and closes his eyes again.

"don't move"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"what did you do?" you ask remus as he sits in your bed.

"they were talking shit" he says as you go to the bathroom to look for the first aid kit you keep in there.

"you got into a fight because they were talking shit?" you stand in front of him, in between his legs.

he doesn't answer, instead, he winces when you start cleaning his face.

"remus?" you insist, waiting for an answer

"yes?" he acts oblivious, though it doesn't last much, as you start cleaning his face again, you mutter a quiet sorry before talking again.

"why the fuck did you get into a fight?"

"they were talking sh-" you glare at him.

"lupin"

"last name basis?" he tries to smile at you, but you turn his face to the side so you can look at the bruise forming on his cheek.

"yes, answer" he sighs before talking.

"i told you, they were talking shit" you keep glaring at him until he talks again "they were talking shit about you"

you stop moving for a second, processing the information.

"you got into a fight because they were talking shit about me?"

"yes" he stares at you, waiting for a reaction.

"are you fucking stupid?"

"maybe that wasn't the reaction i expected" he mutters to himself.

"you are actually stupid" you don't talk again, you just focus on cleaning his face, which means he has a lot of time to talk.

"what did you want me to do? i just couldn't stand there as he was saying how you were a bitch and shit like that" he groans when you don't answer "i warned them, i said that if they didn't stop i'd punch them"

"oh, you warned them, how nice" you reply, sarcastically.

"don't be mad at me, please" he wraps his arms around your legs, and puts his head on your stomach.

"what do you want me to do?" you put your hand on his hair.

"i don't care, just don't be mad at me"

"oh, so i should just congratulate you? thank you so much remus for defending me, should i kiss you to show my gratitude?"

"you could kiss me, not because of that, but you could" you don't even acknowledge him as you walk to the bathroom to throw away everything you used to clean his face.

when you come back, he's in front of you, touching your cheek as he talks.

"you're not gonna say anything?" he asks, as you try your best to not look away from his eyes.

"about what?" he chuckles, but doesn't move his hand away from your face.

"about the fact that i said that you could kiss me" you fail your goal, because your eyes immediately go to his lips. and of course, he notices.

"what do you want me to say?" you ask, rolling your eyes at his smirk.

"i think the question is what i want you to do"

"you just got into a fight" you remind him.

"just because you're mad doesn't mean you can't kiss me"

"i know"

and you really know, so you kiss him. and it starts as a sweet kiss, slow, just to prove that it's real. but then one of his hands goes to the back of your neck and the other cups your jaw.

your hands go to the back of his neck, finding balance when he pulls you closer to him.

you pull away for a second, breathing heavily as you look at each other's eyes.

"we shouldn't do this" you remind him.

"i know" he says, slowly walking so you have to walk back.

"i'm still mad at you" you tell him, sitting in your bed, looking up at him.

"i got into a fight because of you and you say that?" he smirks, pushing you so you have no choice but to lie down.

one of his knees rests in between your legs, his hands on both sides of your head. your hands go to the back of his neck again.

"you wound me" he tells you, before kissing your neck.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you had plans today, it was friday and you had no classes after lunch, so you were gonna start getting ready and maybe drinking with the girls before going to the party the gryffindor were hosting.

but those plans got a bit ruined when you got a letter from your family during lunch, which usually meant bad news.

you don't really remember a lot from the letter, all you know is that you had two choices: marrying barty or getting disowned.

after reading the letter, all you can do is put it in your pocket and try to stop the tears coming from your eyes. you don't even look at your friends or at the food that remus put on your plate. instead, you think about the words you just read.

"i have to go" you suddenly get up, grab your things and walk away, not noticing the concerned looks on your friends faces, especially on remus'.

they all stare at you as you walk out the great hall.

you find an empty hall and sit in one of the windows, finally letting out the tears. you don't long how long you stay like that, but suddenly someone walks next to you.

"hey, hey, it's okay, it's okay" all you notice are the tears running down your face, and remus' arms around you. as he holds you and tells you that everything is fine.

once you calm down, he waits a bit to ask

"what happened? do you wanna talk about it?" he asks, and you don't even look at him, not wanting to see the worry in his eyes.

"no, it's okay" he seems disappointed with your answer, but doesn't stop rubbing your back "thank you"

"it's nothing" he tries to find something to say, something to comfort you, but before he can even think of anything, you get up.

"you're going to the party, right?" you look at him, drying your tears.

"are you gonna go?" he asks, frowning.

"yes" he seems a bit surprised, because now you're smiling.

"then yes" you smile even more at his answer.

"i'll see you there" you give him a quick peck on his cheek before walking away.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next time remus sees you, you're dancing, lily and marlene next to you.

he stands away for a bit, not in the mood to dance, but when he sees you're gonna refill your cup for the fifth time since he has been there. he decides to approach you.

"hi" he says, standing next to you.

"hi remus" you smile at him, drinking from your now full cup.

"how many of those have you had?" he asks.

"i don't know, seven, maybe eight? who cares" you tell him, holding his hand and dragging him to the dance floor, but he quickly redirects you to one of the sofas.

"i do, you're gonna pass out if you keep drinking" he says as he tries to get the cup from your hand, but you quickly move your hand away and frown.

"i'll be okay"

"no you won't"

"i'm not even that drunk"

"you saw sirius and called him reggie" you smile, remembering the horrified look in sirius' eyes.

"they look alike" you shrug.

"you should stop drinking"

"i'll be okay" he tries to reply, tries to tell you that maybe you won't, but you get up, and before he can even stand up, you get lost among the people.

the next time he sees you, you're on the couch, head in your hands as you try to stop the tears from your eyes.

remus sits next to you. a hand on you back as he leans to see your face.

"are you drunk?" you nod "do you want to go to sleep" you nod, so he gets up and holds your hand, making your way through the crowd.

once you reach the hall, he doesn't let go of your hand. he notices that something's wrong, he notices that you haven't complained to sirius about being in a pureblood family, like you do each time you receive a letter from them. he notices that you're trying not to cry. he notices that you're barely holding his hand, maybe it's because you're drunk or you're too sad to.

and he wants to say something, he wants to help. but he decides to wait until you're in your room. he helps you get your makeup off and change into your pjs. he's folding your clothes while you're sitting on the side of your bed when he hears smalls sobs.

he immediately sits next to you, drying your tears.

"it's okay, everything will be alright" he hugs you, mentally cursing when you shake your head.

"you don't get it" you tell him, in between sobs.

"then explain it to me" he says, wondering if it's the same thing as what happened at lunch.

"i can't" you sigh, pulling away from him as you dry your tears.

"yes you can, i want to help you" his hands go to your face, holding you.

"you can't-" you insist, putting your hands over his.

"please let me help"

"remus-"

"i don't care if it's hard, i want to help" he insists, staring at your eyes.

"let's sleep" he knows better than to insist more, so he just lets you sleep.

when you wake up, you don't talk, you just walk with him to breakfast, and when you're finished, you walk away, not letting him know where you're going.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"i don't know what's happening in between us, but-" you look away from his eyes "i can't do this"

"what?" he asks, praying that he's dreaming, or that it's a bad joke, praying that you're not breaking up with him, even if you're not together.

"what did i do? what happened?" he tries to find your gaze.

"you didn't do anything, i just can't" i have to marry someone else.

"let me fix it, whatever i did, let me fix it, you can hate me but don't go away"

"i'll probably leave school as soon as i can" you admit, you don't even know why, you just don't want to disappear without explanations.

"what? no, you can't leave" he panics, he looks around trying to find someone laughing at him. he doesn't.

"i'm sorry" you talk, unable to look at his eyes.

"don't, please, don't apologise" he says, grabbing your hands, in case you want to run away.

"i'm so sorry" you repeat.

"you don't have to do that" he insists, because he doesn't want to lose you.

"i don't want to hurt you" you tell him, thinking about the letter your parents just sent you, thinking about your future, which is already decided, not by the stars, but by your family.

"then stay, stay here, with me" he pulls your hands, so your bodies are closer.

"you know i can't" you lament, even though he doesn't know that much.

"yes you can, you just have to try" he suddenly lets your hands go, taking a step away from you. and you try to get mad at him, but you can't, not when he's looking that hurt, hurt by you.

"remus-" you try to get him to listen, maybe if he gives you a chance, you'll show the letter to him, you'll explain everything to him. how you have no choice but to listen to your parents.

"are you even sorry? you don't seem to have tried to stay" you know he doesn't mean it, he knows he doesn't mean it. but it's better that way, it'll be easier if he's mad at you. so you don't answer. you just stare at him.

"you're not gonna answer?" he asks, tears on the corner of both of your eyes. "i thought you liked me" you swear you can feel your heart break as the words leave his mouth.

"i do-" he cuts you off.

"then why don't you stay? is it just a game to you? you wanted to play with me?" he keeps talking, he tries to stop, he wants to, but the hurt in his heart makes him keep going.

"i didn't, remus, it's not that easy" you tell him, begging him to understand.

"i never said i wanted things to be easy. especially not with you" he fights the urge to walk away, thinking that maybe there's a chance that you'll change your mind.

"i don't want to hurt you" you repeat, maybe more to remind you than to him.

"you're already hurting me"

"you have to understand"

"when you defended werewolves from that guy you already knew i was one didn't you? maybe he was right and you're a bitch after all, did you tell him that just to shag me?" he doesn't even blink as he talks, pretending he's not mad at himself right now, even more than with you.

"you don't mean that" you say as the tears fall from your eyes.

"oh, i do" that's what it takes for him to finally walk away, letting the tears out of his eyes.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you couldn't focus, it was all too much. the pain from the unforgivable curse, the sadness from your own family doing that, the realisation that you could never go back to your house.

all you could do is try to not pass out as you walk to the potter's mansion.

once you reach their door, and ring it, you wait. you don't know if it was ten seconds, ten minutes or even ten hours. all you know is that when james opens the door, you practically throw yourself at him, who catches you as he calls for his parents.

"i'm sorry" you whisper in between sobs.

"it's okay, you'll be okay, everything's going to be fine" james tries to not show the concern on his voice, he really tries, but everyone must've sense it, because remus, sirius and peter quickly appear, staring at you as effie kneels down next to you.

when you finally pass out, all you know is that it hurts, everything hurts.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you wake up with effie folding clothes next to you.

"oh hi sweetie, how are you feeling?" she immediately sits next to you, touching your forehead to check your temperature.

"good" you answer, quietly.

"you have clothes here, you can take a shower and i'll make dinner" she walks to the door as you sit up.

"effie, thank you so much, you don't have to do this, i'll be okay"

"we'll talk later" she doesn't give you room to talk, instead, she leaves after giving you a smile.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

effie and fleamont sit in front of you as you eat, staring at you and then at each other.

"we want you to stay here" fleamont is the first to talk as soon as you finish eating.

"what? no, i can't, i'll find somewhere to stay"

"no, you'll stay here, we have your room ready" effie insists.

"i can't"

"sweetie, there's no way to stop this now, the faster you accept it the better" fleamont talks as effie gets up and tells you to follow her to show you your room.

they leave you a moment to see your room before walking in.

"thank you so much" you say before they hug you, drying your tears before they fall on your face.

"it's okay honey, you'll be fine" they assure you before walking out of the room. "and, by the way, the boys are sleeping, we'll tell them to come here when they wake up, they're really worried"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

he thinks it's unfair, remus thinks that it's unfair that you're talking to peter like nothing happened, that you're playing quidditch with james and sirius like you weren't crying in his arms just a few weeks ago. he thinks it's unfair that you haven't even glanced at him. he thinks it's unfair that you look like nothing ever happened, he hates that you're acting like everything it's okay, like you're not hurt by your family, by his words.

he also thinks he's being selfish, by slightly hoping that you're as hurt as him. that you think of him as much as he thinks of you. he hopes that you also have the urge to go to his room in the middle of the night. he hopes that you're as jealous as he is when someone starts flirting with you at the party james organised at his house.

but he also thinks that none of it it's possible, that you look way too happy to be thinking of him, that if you're planning on getting drunk, you definitely don't want his help.

he doesn't know if it was between staring at you as you flirted back with that guy, or when he was searching for you while you were nowhere to be found. but he gets drunk.

and suddenly, all the doubts he had about you disappear, because you're next to him, rubbing his back and asking him if he's drunk. and you wouldn't help him if you hated him would you?.

he just stares at you as you hold his hand and make your way through the crowd, not so kindly pushing people who didn't move. you help him through the barrier james magically applied on the stairs so no one but his friends could walk upstairs.

when you reach his room, you help him walk to his bed, which is kinda difficult seeing his stumbling tall figure. once he is in the safety of his mattress, you walk to the door, but his voice stops you.

"i can't sleep with my shirt on" when you turn around, he's smirking.

"then take it off" you turn your back to him again.

"i need help" when you turn around, not before rolling your eyes, he's giving you puppy eyes.

remus lupin. is. giving. you. puppy eyes.

"you aren't that drunk" you don't even move from the door.

"yes i am. you're really gonna leave me here, drunk and defenceless?" he lies back on his bed.

"are you trying to blackmail me?" you frown, leaning your back onto his closed door.

"is it working?" he asks, hoping it does.

"no" he sighs, before leaning on his elbows to look at you.

"c'mon love, just help me take my shirt off" you don't answer, instead, you just get closer to him, and help him sit up, once he is, he doesn't move, he just looks up at you.

"you're not gonna put your arms up?" you groan, frustrated, when he just smiles at you.

after a few minutes of work, due to his boycott, you finally take his shirt off, throwing it aside before walking away.

or that's what you try, because before you can even turn around, his arms are around you. and you don't know how he's so strong, or why you didn't try to fight back more, maybe it was the alcohol. but before you notice it. you're on the bed next to him, and he's hugging you so tight that you have no choice but to fall asleep.

when you wake up he's still hugging you, luckily not as strong as last night, so you can get up and slowly walk to the door, quietly closing it and making the way to your room.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

remus is almost convinced that it was a dream, he thinks he imagined everything when he wakes up and you're not there, he thinks it was his mind tricking him when you sit next to marlene at breakfast. even though he purposely left the sit next to him free.

he's basically drowning in his tea when marlene says something that makes him look at you.

"where were you last night? you left soon" he stares at you, noticing the way your eyes linger at him for a moment before saying that you were tired. and it would be childish for him to admit that it made him happy, that he doesn't even notice the hangover now, that he's smiling so much that even effie asked him about it.

and it would be even more childish to admit that he's been giving james the idea to throw another party just before holidays end, that he doesn't need to invite anyone, just the group of friends it's okay. and who is james to say no to a party?.

he spends more time that he wants to admit staring at you. as you talk to lily and mary, as you almost make sirius drop his drink, as you hug james. and especially, as you ignore him. so he does what he knows will make you talk to him, getting drunk.

it follows the same order as the other night. you approach him, lead him upstairs and help him get ready to bed.

"why did you leave?" he asks, holding your wrist after you tried to walk to the door. he sees how you think about the answer. and to be honest, he didn't think he was ready to hear it.

"because that's what a bitch would do" you break free from his grip and walk to the door. he just stays there as you go back downstairs.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next morning, no one knows why remus looks so miserable, why he's being so grumpy to everyone, except you. why he's putting food on your plate, why he's making everyone put on the movie you want to see.

they also don't know why you're ignoring him, why you offered the plate to james, why you changed your mind and told marlene to decide what movie to watch.

but you knew, you knew because you've been listening to him apologise every other minute, you've been listening to him knocking on your door every night. you've been reading his apology letters.

but that wasn't enough, because just two days before classes start again, he decides that he's had enough, and that he won't leave before giving you a proper apology. so he follows you to the kitchen when everyone is focused on the movie. and he stands on your way to the door so you have no choice but to listen.

"i didn't mean it, and you know that, you know i'd never think that. and i know it's not an excuse, but it was days before a full moon, and i wanted to hate you, i wanted to hate you for making me love you and then leaving me. and i wanted you to hate me because i wouldn't be able to be around you. and i'm so sorry, i'll do anything to take it back, i need you to understand that i didn't mean it, and that i'm so sorry i ever made you feel bad. there's no day i haven't thought about you, about how much i miss you, about how i ruined everything. so please, give me a second chance, i'll apologise every minute if i have to, i'll do anything for you to forgive me. because i don't think i can stand the thought of what we could've had if i hadn't ruined everything." he takes a deep breath "i'm so so so sorry"

and you know that you shouldn’t, that he’s hurt you as much as you’ve hurt him. but you’re both teenagers, you both make mistakes, and you both miss each other. so you do what everyone would’ve done in this situation, and hug him, breathing him in.

“does that mean you forgive me?” he asks.

“yes, i’m sorry” you close your eyes, your head in his chest.

“you have nothing to apologise for, love”

“yes i do-” he cuts you off by pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

“let’s just go to sleep”

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you don’t know why james drags you from the kitchen, where you were talking with everyone, to your room, with the suitcase half done on the floor. you don’t know why he slams the door. or why he’s staring at you like you told him you forbade quidditch.

but then he talks.

“did you forgive him?”

and you remember the conversation you had with him after spending a few nights here.

“weren’t you two in love?” you’re on his bed, still not used to your new room, you’re both laying on your backs, him throwing his snitch and catching it.

“who?” you ask, staring at the ceiling.

“remus” he says it like it’s obvious, and it actually is.

“i don’t know” you shrug.

“what happened?” he asks.

“i ruined everything” you explain.

“that’s not true” he frowns.

“how do you know that?” you chuckle.

“you wouldn’t ruin anything” he says, so sincere.

“i was supposed to marry barty” the snitch falls and hits his face.

“what?!” he immediately sits up.

“so i told him i couldn’t do whatever we were doing"

"and he just accepted it?" he's frowning even more.

"he was sad at first, then mad, but he stopped talking to me, so it worked" you shrug again, and he gets closer to you.

"mad?"

"it's okay"

"i know how remus gets when he gets mad, did he say something to you?" he looks worried, already thinking about punching remus.

"nothing to bad, the normal when the person you're in love with and it's in love with you dumps you for no reason"

"what's the normal?" he questions.

"james, it's okay"

and with that beautiful flashback, you come back to an angry james in front of you.

"don't dare to move, i'll talk to you later, let me have a chat with remus first" he tries to get out of the room, but you stop him.

"james wait"

“stop trying to defend him, and don’t try to walk away, you won’t move until you tell me everything” he stands in front of you, arms crossed.

"james let me explain"

"you want to talk? talk, i'm not leaving until i know everything" he sounds determined, and you know that he won't stop until he knows everything.

"there's nothing to know, just leave it" you insist.

"what did he say to you?" he takes at step, so he's closer to you.

"james-"

"what did he say to you?"

"james, stop"

"now, i won't stop until you tell me what the fuck he told you, and why you're together with him after that"

"because it doesn't matter, it's already over"

"it doesn't matter?! you're saying it doesn't fucking matter? after weeks of seeing you miserable, and because of him?" he pinchs the bridge of his nose. "honestly, if you're not going to tell me what he told you, then don't even bother talking"

he tries to walk away, again, but you stand in front of the door.

"what's the point? i already forgave him, so, what are you going to do, make me leave him?" you question him, praying that he doesn't actually say yes.

"you don't know what i'm willing to do for you happiness" he tries to walk past you, but you don't move.

"please don't be mad at me"

"then tell me what he said to you" his eyes soften, looking at yours.

"why? what are you going to do about it?"

"it depends" he avoids your gaze.

"james."

"maybe punch him" he looks away.

"james"

"please tell me what he said" he asks, this time softer.

and you don't know why, maybe it's the look on his eyes, or the fact that you know he wouldn't let it go until you did. but you say everything to him, from how you approached him, how you were both almost crying, how he walked away.

and it takes him a moment to react, he's sitting in your bed, and you immediately get up to stand in front of him.

"james…" he gets up.

"i need to have a chat with remus" he tries to walk past you, but you don't let him.

"james."

"what?"

"please, just, stay here with me. you can help me pack" you give him your best puppy eyes until he agrees, sitting on the floor next to you, passing you clothes as you put them in your suitcase.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

and it all looked perfect. it seemed like james had already forgotten everything by the time dinner is ready. and it seems like he's really happy when he suggests to watch a movie.

but then something changes. maybe it was remus' hand on your tight, or the fight scene on the movie. but the next thing you know, is that there's a fist right in remus' face. and that fist belongs to james.

"you said you wouldn't do anything!" you immediately get up, putting yourself in front of remus, while sirius and marlene pull james back.

"i had to!" he says.

"james!" you fight the urge to roll your eyes.

"i'm sorry! but i couldn't help it! i had to do something about it!" he explains.

"about what?" lily asks, and you stiffen, looking at james with wary eyes.

"yes, about what?" james asks you, and you glare at him as mary and peter take care of remus' face.

"about nothing" you immediately say, backing up as they all stare at you.

and they're complaining about it as soon as you say it, but remus stops them.

"about me hurting her" no one knows how to react, you just stare at him as he stretches his neck.

"you fucking hurt her?" lily talks, walking towards him, and it seemed like she had the intention of repeating james' actions. so you step in front of her.

"it's all forgotten, there's no reason to punch anyone" you stare at james "especially when you promised you wouldn't"

"i'm sorry-" he tries to apologise.

"it's okay, i deserved it" remus talks.

"no you didn't?" you tell him, but he just smiles at you.

"i'm going to sleep"

you all stare at him as he walks upstairs, and when you turn around they're all staring at you.

"if i forgave him, you can do it too" you say, especially looking at james. "so, i hope you apologise to him, because he deserves it"

when you get to remus' room, he's looking at himself in the mirror.

"i'm sorry" you sneak in front of him, hugging him as you put your head in his chest.

"why" he chuckles, hugging you back.

"what do you mean why, are you stupid?" you questions him.

"love, it's not your fault" he smiles as you narrow your eyes at him. "i deserved it"

"shut up" you immediately pull away from him, storming out of the bathroom.

he grabs your wrist before you can walk out of the room, and as soon as he gets it his arms are around you.

"don't be mad at me" he pleads, and when you don't answer, his lips go to your cheek. "please"

when you don't answer he just keeps kissing you.

"please"

this time is your other cheek.

"cmon love"

your forehead.

"just talk to me"

your nose.

"please"

your lips

"love"

your neck.

and you know that he'll start going lower if you don't stop him. and you know that if he does you won't be mad anymore. so you pull away from him.

"you're stupid, remus lupin" you glare at him "if you ever say that you deserve any hurt ever again i'll be the one punching you instead of james. and i'll also cry"

"why would you cry?" he genuinely asks, putting one of his hands on your cheek.

"because you don't deserve anything bad remus. you're literally an angel"

"don't say that" you frown at him, and he looks away.

"remus, i mean it"

"i know" he puts his forehead on yours "that's why i don't want you to say it"

"why?"

"because it's gonna make me love you even more"

before you can answer, he's kissing you again, this time for real, when he pulls away, he stares at you.

"i know everyone already says that we're dating, but can we make it official?" his hands are on your cheeks, and he thinks that he's never been more nervous in his life.

"i'd love to" this time, you're the one who kisses him, and you stay like that for a while, in each other's arms. before someone knocks on the door.

when you open, you find james on the other side, with regret in his eyes.

"can i talk to remus?" you narrow your eyes at him as remus appears behind you.

"it's alright love"

you go to the living room with everyone, and before you know it, james and remus are walking in, talking and laughing.

everyone stares at them as they get closer to the couch.

"what?" they ask, staring back at you.

"everything's… fine?" lily asks, and when they both smile and nod, everyone smiles and cheers, a bit exaggerated.

remus sits next to you, putting and arm around you and kissing you.

and if before they were dramatic, now it's like their favourite team won the quidditch world cup.

"what?" this time remus and you ask, staring at them.

"you just kissed?" mary says, not believing it.

"yeah?" you answer.

"why" marlene asks, narrowing her eyes.

"we're dating" remus says, and the night ends between cheers, screams and hugs.

sirius and james even cry a bit, hugging each other while saying "finally!" "we did it!"

#young remus lupin #the marauders era #the marauders #young remus x y/n #remus lupin x reader #i love this #i hate this #i love remus lupin #remus x you #remus has a mullet #i think thats all #reader insert

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kaolovess · 7 months

Note

Hello 🤗🤗 can I pls request jealousy and crush headcanons for BTS members? Thank you very much 💞

BTS JEALOUSY/CRUSH HEADCANNONS

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was actually quite confused at this request ( I might be dumb) I didn't know if you wanted like bts having a crush on you and being jealous or both separately. So I just settled on separate. Overall thank you for being my first request, hopefully, this is to your liking!

WORD COUNT: 1,051

JIN - JEALOUSY :

I personally think he doesn’t get really jealous. He knows that you will never try to cheat on him or anything like that. He gets more mad than jealous. It just triggers a button when he sees someone flirting with you. Especially if you get uncomfortable- he’s getting you out of there in record seconds.

He probably won’t care about you having guy friends either, I mean it’s the same as him having female friends? He will pay attention to how they treat you though.

JIN - CRUSH :

Admires you from afar. Doesn’t even stop staring when you look at him, How could he not though? You are beautiful- at least in his world. You make him question his looks, Yes, you make worldwide handsome question his looks. Ends up confessing at a ramen place.

YOONGI - JEALOUSY :

Why would he be jealous? He’s already had a talk with you about how he would understand if you were to fall out of love, or just like someone else. Hates when people make you uncomfortable, LIke how dare they? How would they like for someone to come up and punch them in the face?

Doesn’t care about guy best friends either, When you mentioned it, he said ‘There just there”.

YOONGI - CRUSH :

The boys probably told you about his crush, they just got sick of him talking about you for HOURS. I can just imagine his little gummy smile as he watches you from afar. ( is that creepy? ) Tries to impress you too!! :((. The boys end up somehow convincing him to confess his feelings towards you. (even though you are already aware.)

JHOPE - JEALOUSY :

Jhope is actually pretty hard since I'm not very familiar with him yet, but I'll try!! I feel like he would get jealous, not in an extreme way, He would get jealous of how others treat you. He just wonders if he is as good as the other guy that is talking to you. Hates to see people flirt with you, which makes him worried that you actually like them back. :(((

He barely gets jealous with guy friends, there is not much of a reason for him too. Instead of getting jealous, he is probably besties with your guy friends.

JHOPE - CRUSH :

Gets so giggly when you look at him, He’s just sitting there giggling and you are like “What??”. Can’t even focus when you're around. He’s just looking at your every single move, smiling. Probably leaves gifts at your doorstep (dw he put his name on them). Tries to find out what you are interested in so he can try it out too. It takes a bit for him to build up the courage to confess, so you end up doing it first.

NAMJOON - JEALOUSY :

I honestly can’t see Joon jealous. He’s a very understanding person, so he knows what your true intention is. He’ll pay more attention to how you feel around that person, Sad? Nervous? Scared? Angry? That’s what he’s looking to find. He just doesn’t want to make the same mistakes that person may be making.

Never gets jealous when it comes to guy best friends, He actually gets along with them pretty well too. You found out once that he was hanging out with them.

NAMJOON - CRUSH :

Tries to talk to you any chance he gets. Also pretty good at hiding his crush, But gets shy so fast when you talk to him. Randomly comes up to you to ask how your day has been. ( he’s just trying to start a conversation… Sorry anti-socials…) Has a private Twitter account where he just rants about you. He’s pretty old fashioned so he’ll write a letter of his confession and somehow give it to you.

JIMIN - JEALOUSY :

As I said for his dating headcanons, he does get a little jealous but not very much, He does hate to see people flirting with you. It annoys him, Why would they just carelessly flirt with you not thinking about the fact you may have a boyfriend? But aside from the jealousy it reminds him how lucky he is, I mean nobody flirts with a disgusting person.

I know I've pretty much said this for all of the members but it’s what I truly think, Guy friends just don’t make them jealous.

JIMIN - CRUSH :

Jimin definitely writes songs about you in his free time, They are mostly just for him to use for singing randomly, nothing more (he doesn’t army to find out about his crush). He probably is too shy to make a move, or he just thinks his clumsiness will ruin something. His confession will be INTERESTING… Will probably write a letter, part of that being because he’s shy. The letter will straight up make you breathless, YOU NEVER KNEW HE WAS A FLIRT!?

TAEHYUNG - JEALOUSY :

Honestly, it’s like 50/50, sometimes he doesn’t care because in seconds he could prove that you are his, or he’s hella jealous. I'm between those 2 but leaning more towards the first one. Probably would care more about getting you away from someone than being jealous.

Again, won’t care about guy friends, and won’t exactly be friends with them but he’ll get along with them pretty well.

TAEHYUNG - CRUSH :

Leaves random romantic poems at your doorstep, Puts “Sincerely, your secret admirer” at the end 😭. and flirts with you whenever he gets the chance. Was actually quite nervous when he was shamelessly asking for your phone number. Winks at you when you catch him staring. Unlike the other members, I feel like when he confesses his feelings for you, he actually does it in person…

JUNGKOOK - JEALOUSY :

I 100% think that he gets jealous like you need to reassure him, that you weren’t interested in the guy that was flirting with you. Like we are all aware that Jungkook is trying to give off “bad boy vibes” (I cringed when writing that) when he is a complete softie. He might give you the silent treatment too. 🤔

JUNGKOOK - CRUSH :

SHY BOYYY. He gets so flustered when around you :((. Would definitely start stuttering like crazy if you asked him a question. Tries to impress you 24/7. Asks the boys for advice on how to get you to like him back. You had to confess since he was too shy.

#bts fluff #bts headcanons #bts x reader #bts fic #bts x you #jungkook x reader #taehyung x reader #jimin x reader #namjoon x reader #jhope x reader #yoongi x reader #jin x reader #jeon jungkook #kim taehyung #park jimin #kim namjoon #jung hoseok #min yoongi #kim seokjin

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jaylienpotter · 6 months

Text

Conceited

Jegulus one-shot

Warning: Lily Evans bashing (kinda)

"Why don't you give me a chance? Even to be friends?!"

Regulus turned around and walked towards the source of the noise. He knew that voice very well.

"I hate you, Potter!"

Seemed like Black's crush was getting rejected again. Part of him was sad for his brother's best friend, another, more selfish side of him, was relieved.

"Why?! What did I ever do to you? I know I was a prick to Snape sometimes-"

"You're a bully!"

"I'm not a bully! Snape isn't stupid, nor weak, nor innocent. He does the exact same thing we did to him! He's not a victim." He wasn't wrong, to be a bully meant it was one-sided. Snape and Potter were more like mortal enemies.

"Even then, you're still a rich, obnoxious, arrogant, selfish prat who doesn't shut up about himself! You're so bloody conceited!"

That hit. He could see the hurt in those dark brown eyes. People didn't know the effort the tanned skinned boy put into helping others, making sure everyone is happy, included, safe. He could have all eyes on him yet no one noticed. Except Reg. He noticed James.

"That's not true." The pair turned to him in surprise, pale hands becoming fidgety with the sudden notion of being watched. He kind of regretted speaking up.

"James doesn't talk about himself. Yes, he's sometimes a bit obnoxious and loud, and he does talk a lot but it's never centered around himself. You're getting confused with my brother, Evans."

"Oh, please. Those two are the same. You're not in Gryffindor, you don't hear them all the time." Right, but he did hear from the boy in private. In their late night talks that started after Sirius ran away. Because James didn't want Reg to feel alone. He noticed. He cared. He helped.

"What does he say then? About himself. Not about his friends. Or the stupid pranks they all pull." He dragged the word 'all', making it a point that it didn't count.

"Do you know his favourite colour? Favourite animal? Favourite classes and professors? His grades? How many people he's dated? Anything about his home life? His life goals and dreams?" It was too late to back out, the rant had begun, and you bet Blacks finish what they start.

"Because I don't think so. He might talk a shit lot, but it's about his group plans, his friends, making jokes, making others laugh when feeling like shit as so many do nowadays," himself included. "It takes a lot to get him to talk about himself as an individual, actually. You would know if you gave him a chance. But for someone so against judgemental people, you really do focus on his appearance." Green eyes wide, pink lips shut tight. Regulus contained his smirk.

"He's a good person. A great friend. Selfless and caring despite being from an old pureblood family. And he fights for what he thinks is right. He fights for others. With his big personality comes a big heart. So if you don't make space for the love he has to offer just because you think you don't believe he has it in him, he's not the conceited one." Red hair nearly flew with Lily's stormed exit. She hadn't liked their interaction in the slightest. It was better that way. She wasn't deserving.

Piercing dark eyes were burning a whole through black curls. Reg avoided James's gaze, afraid of what he'd say. He only faced him when he felt the boy closer, and he could swear Potter's eyes were sparkling.

"You meant that...?"

"Of course. You care so much about everyone else that you forget yourself. You couldn't tell me what you wanted to do in the future because it would depend on what your friends decided to do with their lives. You're the most selfless person I know, and if she thinks otherwise, she doesn't deserve your love or friendship."

Silence. He really wanted the older boy to say something, but he just stared, lips slightly parted. Icy blue eyes looked away, shoulders tensing from the attention.

Warm strong arms surrounded his small figure, nearly making him halt. But Potter's sweet, intoxicating smell had him relax and melt in his arms, wrapping his much slimmer ones around his tanned waist.

"Thanks, Reggie." His heart skipped a beat at the nickname and he hoped James didn't feel it against his own chest. He was also thankful to have his face covered, absolutely certain that his white cheeks had turned fully pink.

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rose-riot-johnson · 4 months

Note

May I please request headcanons for Shanks, Sanji, and Ace reacting to their female S/O who's captain of her own crew being betrayed by one of her crewmates which greatly affects her since it causes most of her crew to die?

I will definitely see what can do with writing about them, since the request does sound interesting to write about😁👍 While I have written about Sanji before the other two I haven't, it sounds like good ideas for the request😃👍

🏴‍☠️His Reaction To His Female S/O Captain, (Female Reader) Being Betrayed By Someone Who Was One Of Her Crewmates🏴‍☠️(Every One Piece Character That is Requested For This Head Cannon fanfic x female reader)

Genres: Head Cannon(?) and Angst To Comfort (Warning⚠️: Trigger Warning (Mentions Of Murder))

⭐New Character For Me to Write About⭐

Shanks

*When Shanks first found out you were betrayed by one of your crewmates who has murdered most of your crew, he was actually shocked about it, however he tries his best to keep his cool. So, he decided to focus on you, your crew, your wounds, and your well-being. After all he figured it's the least he can do for you, even tough he's willing to do more than that for you.

*Shanks made his decision to have his crew (and himself) to stay in the village he bumped into you in, after the attack the crew member who betrayed you and your whole crew. He knew you blamed yourself for not seeing the traitor who's attack you never saw coming, which is why he assigned the rest of his crew to take care of the crew members who are still alive that he assigned his crew members to, while he assigned himself to take care of your wounds and well-being. He didn't assign himself with you just because you're his s/o, however he is also a captain of his crew just, as well as you are of your crew, plus he felt it's his job to take care of your wounds and well-being, after all.

*As time went by with Shanks taking care of your wounds and well-being (by frequent reassurance that nothing was your fault and you couldn't have known that the crew member who betrayed you would be a traitor of your crew and other stuff he reassured you with), the progress of your physical healing and the healing of your well-being has been going much better than he could ever expect. He knew you would heal with your wounds and your well-being, however he's surprised things went better than he thought. You confessed to him that you believe that it was his words and how he took care of your wounds helped you heal quickly, then you would thank him for taking great care of you and giving you reassurance often, as both you and Shanks hugged eachother, as the rest of his crew and the remaining members of your crew who are still alive, cheered with glee while celebrating your recovery.

Sanji

*When it comes to someone betraying your crew (and the crew member who turned out to be the traitor himself killing the most of your crew), Sanji is someone who be very upset. He will feel sad for you, considering you are is s/o. He also will be outraged that one of your crew members betraying the rest of your crew (you, included). Despite of Sanji not being a captain of his own crew, he does have negative mixed emotions (from sadness to anger) about your crew being betrayed by someone who was not only your crew mate, however this crew mate who is the traitor was also some you have trusted the most out of your crewmates of your own crew, which Sanji is aware of more than anyone else surprisingly.

*Sanji and Luffy both happily agreed on have you the the remaining members of your crew who are still alive stay on "The Sunny" (The Strawhat crew's ship), as long as you and the remaining crew members left alive need to and/or stuff like that. You (ofcourse) will be in the same room, as Sanji, because of the fact you are his s/o, so this will definitely help you with your well and he will be able to comfort you easier with more time together. There will be plenty of times where Sanji will prepare meals to surprise you and the remaining crew members (who are still alive), because your crew definitely enjoys his cooking, however you love his cooking the most. So, needless to say that he really wants to take care of your well-being and to feed you and the rest of your crew who are still alive.

*Sanji knew you and the remaining members of your crewmates who are still alive would be happy about his cooking and feel better from eating his food, however he is also surprised that everytime you and the other crew members who are still alive eat his cooking, you and the living members of your become more happier, as if the food has has some magic powers to heal your well-being (and the well-being of the rest of your crewmates who are alive). Tony Tony Chopper explained to Sanji, the rest of the Strawhats, you, and your crew members who are still alive about the ingredients that was in Sanji's cooking and how Sanji cooked the food has helped with your well-being for some reason. You and Sanji both were surprised the most about what his cooking did for your well-being, despite of the ingredients Sanji put in his cooking, what he put in the food, and you enjoying his cooking, while feeling more happier from eating his cooking, than you (and Sanji) expected.

⭐New Character For Me To Write About⭐

Portagas D. Ace

*Out the three, Ace knows what it's like for his crew (His Captain Edward Newgate, aka White Beard in the very same crew, as Ace) to have a crewmate betrayed by a crewmate, while having that same crewmate who turned out to be a traitor kill any of the other crewmates in his crew. After all, he definitely remembers full well Marshall D. Teach, aka Black Beard betrayed the White Beard Pirate crew when Teach killed Thatch for Teach to get his devil fruit powers from eating the devil fruit called the "Dark-Dark Fruit". So, ofcourse Ace would be very angry at the crewmate who betrayed your crew to the point he really was about to avenge you (and the rest of your crew due to your crew being betrayed.

*Despite of Ace not being captian of the White Beard Pirates and you being the captain of your crew, he most definitely has empathy for you. Even tough he wants to get revenge on the crewmate who betrayed you and anyone else in your crew, your safe and your well-being would most certainly come first (and the remaining crew members left alive, also). So, if he does see you emotionally breakdown or trying to hold your emotions in or both or maybe anything similar to both, he will comfort you the best way he possibly can and he will hug you when you need it. He definitely knows when things are bothering you, especially on how much being betrayed by one of the crewmates you did have betray the rest of your crew (including, you).

*Ace will come snuggle with you often, as your snuggle time with him will comfort you by alot, however he is also someone who will also keep an eye on you alot (he will also check on the rest of your crew who are left alive), atleast until your well-being recovers to the point where he wouldn't have to worry about you, as much (even tough he still will, anyways) and where you are becoming yourself again. Not only the rest of the crew you have left and Ace will notice the difference with you in a good way, however you will also notice that you and your well-being has been healing more and more each day. Despite this Ace will also keep checking on you to makesure your well-being keeps getting better and staying better (and it's also out of his love for you and you being his s/o).

🏴‍☠️The End🏴‍☠️

Okay my Tumblr Peeps I hope you enjoyed this One Piece head cannon(?) fanfic🏴‍☠️😃👍And @sacredwarrior88 I also hope you enjoyed the fanfic, as well😁👍I really enjoyed writing this One Piece head cannon fanfic(?), honestly😃👍

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yeollie-plz · 1 year

Text

Cave

Preoutbreak! Joel Miller x GN! Reader (ft. Platonic! Tommy Miller)

Synopsis: Tommy is trying to help you to get together with Joel but Joel thinks you and Tommy are secretly dating.

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings: swearing, Y/N insert, anger, jealousy, sadness, mentions of punching/aggression, kissing, bar settings

Gif credits to owners!

Tommy had noticed pretty quickly that you had a bit of a crush on Joel. You worked in the diner that Joel, Sarah, and Tommy frequented and had gotten to know them a bit. Sarah invited you to her birthday last year and the rest was history.

From day one you had found Joel attractive. He was so ruggedly handsome, a great father, and not to mention good with his hands. Oh, the things he could do with his hands...

You tried not to think about that too much, Joel was your friend and your customer! You needed to be professional! But Tommy was not going to have any of that bullshit. Tommy was convinced he could get you two together.

There was no one Tommy knew better than Joel. He knew when Joel was angry. He knew when Joel was sad. And he sure as hell knew when Joel liked someone.

Although, Tommy didn't know you as well as his brother, he could tell you felt the same. I mean it was kind of obvious when you would stutter and stumble whenever you saw him and stare at him endlessly.

He tried to convince Joel to ask you out but Joel kept his guard up. He denied that he liked you and said he needed to focus on Sarah and not dating. Tommy just rolled his eyes. He tried again for a few weeks after that but Joel wouldn't budge.

So Tommy waved his white flag in surrender (it was actually a pair of his tighty-whities he took off drunk one night) and gave up.

That didn't last long because a month later he was confronting you about your oh so obvious crush.

You tried to deny it, laughing him off. But Tommy saw right through it. All it took was him staring at you in disbelief and you caved, telling him everything.

"Okay fine, yes, I like your brother. Way more than I should." You almost yelled like it was a revelation even to yourself.

"I knew it! Wish that idiot would've listened to me and asked you out."

"He wants to ask me out?" Your head snapped up to read his eyes.

"Yes, but he's too in his own head about it, stubborn bastard."

You nodded, unsure of how to respond.

"Alright I'm gonna help you two love birds get together."

"Really? Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"He'll thank me eventually..." Tommy trailed off a bit, he seemed like he was debating meddling in his brother's love life or not. He shook his head, laughing at himself.

"He will thank me, operation make Joel cave is a go!"

Monday:

On Monday you came to the house to take Sarah to school. You had done this a few times but Tommy knew that if you showed even more interest in the most important person in Joel's life, gold star.

So you knocked on the Miller's door bright and early. There was a noise of something heavy falling and shuffling towards the door.

"Shit, Tommy I told you to just come in." He finally met your eyes. "Oh, Y/N what are you doing here so early?"

"Well, I have a meeting near Sarah's school and I figured maybe we could have a nice drive together. Maybe get her some breakfast on the way?"

He laughed, "She probably already started cooking but I'm sure she'd love a smoothie or somethin'. You're a sweetheart for thinkin' of her."

"Are you kidding? I love that kid! Plus gives me an excuse to come bother you."

Joel's heart warmed when you said you loved Sarah.

He laughed and finally let you through the doorway and into the house. You followed him into the kitchen where Sarah was trying to make herself some breakfast.

"Why do we never have pancake mix?" She was rustling through a cabinet.

"Don't know, but Y/N said she'd get you something if you wanted."

Sarah turned around at the mention of your name. Eyes widening in excitement when she saw you.

"Y/N!" Sarah ran to hug you. You caught her in your arms and held her tight.

When she finally released you, you spoke, "Thought I could take you to school today, kid?"

She nodded quickly saying something about getting her bag and ran up the stairs. Joel laughed from his seat at the table.

Her footsteps echoed through the house as she paraded down the stairs, right as the front door opened. Tommy loudly announced his presence. The two Miller’s found you and Joel in the kitchen.

"This one almost ran me over coming down the stairs. Y/N! Good morning!" He sent a wink your way, acting like he didn't know you were going to be here.

The wink didn't go unnoticed by Joel.

Sarah grabbed your hand, gaining your attention.

"Y/N, if we hurry we can get some pancakes at the diner before school."

You smiled at her, "Good idea! Let's go!" Waving at the boys as Sarah practically dragged you out the door.

Tuesday:

You were at work when the Miller's came in. You greeted them and sat them down, giving them menus even though they would probably order their usual. You were behind the counter when Tommy came up to you.

"So he can't stop talking about how you took Sarah to school. Between both of them you are just about all we talk about actually."

You hummed in response, concentrating on pouring Joel's coffee.

"I convinced him to come here tonight. The more he sees you, the more he wants you. That's the theory at least."

"I'm starting to think you are more invested in this than me."

"No way! I just want to see my brother happy!"

"Uh huh." You laughed at him, gaining a laugh back.

Joel stared at you two, since when did you become so close?

The rest of the night went smoothly, everyone enjoyed their meals. You had given them the check and they were about to leave when Tommy stopped you.

"So Y/N, I have four tickets to the movies this Saturday at four and thought you'd wanna join us."

"Y/N please come!" Sarah pleaded.

"Okay, okay I'll come, but only 'cause you want me to." You said while ruffling Sarah's hair.

Thursday:

Tommy called you after your shift on Thursday. Joel and him were going out. He told you where they would be, when, and said to dress pretty. So here you were standing outside a bar in a black slimming outfit that didn't leave much to the imagination, trying to work up your courage to go inside.

Tommy's scheming was starting the stress you out a bit. No matter how much you liked Joel, this was almost like lying to him and that didn't feel right.

Just as you were about to say fuck it and go home, Tommy walked out the door.

"Y/N! There you are! Joel's getting bored in there and wants to go home."

"Tommy, I just don't know about this."

"It can't be the outfit, you look great Y/N."

"Not the outfit, this whole plan. I feel like I'd be better off just waiting for him to be ready."

"Y/N, no. How long have you had to wait already?"

"Over a year..."

"See! What's a few days of a little teasing gonna hurt? Trust me."

"Okay." You whispered.

"Lets get you inside." Tommy opened the door for you and your eyes immediately fell on Joel.

Tommy patted your shoulder telling you he'd be at the bar. You nodded.

Joel’s stomach twisted at Tommy's touch.

After a deep breath, you made your way over to Joel.

"Hi." You muttered.

"Hi, you look amazing."

"Thanks." Still not having your full confidence.

Joel and you stayed silent for a bit, before Tommy made his way over. He handed you a drink.

Joel sighed, Tommy bought you a drink not him.

"Thank you."

"No problem. Joel, doesn't Y/N look really good tonight?"

Joel nodded. Tommy didn't seem happy with answer and pressed Joel further.

"Well, I think Y/N looks absolutely stunning."

"I'm sure you do." Joel muttered, getting up from his chair aggressively. The leg of it scraping aggressively against the floor, causing you to wince.

The fire that was originally in Joel's eyes cooled a bit when he noticed your reaction. But he was too clouded by the jealousy that he still walked away. Joel paid his tab and left.

"So that didn't work exactly as planned." Tommy said.

"Nope, this is exactly why I didn't want to go through with the plan anymore. I'm sorry Tommy, but I'd rather be pining after Joel than lose him completely." With that you left the bar.

Saturday:

Saturday rolled around but you were no longer feeling up to the movie. You hoped the Miller's had fun but you were prepared to stay home in your pjs and sulk.

Four came and went. You were fully wrapped up in your TV show (and in your blanket) when the doorbell rang. You begrudgingly made your way to the door, unlocking and opening it.

You were met with a very out of breath Joel. He held up a finger as a sign to give him a minute.

When he finally caught his breath he spoke, "I just punched my brother."

You were shocked, why was Joel punching Tommy?

"Wh-why? What happened?"

"I don't really know. He just mentioned you and I punched him."

You gave him a minute to collect his thoughts, motioning him inside. You guided him to the couch and grabbed him a glass of water.

He took a few sips and spoke again, "Are you and Tommy dating?"

Okay, you were shocked again.

"No. No, what made you think that?"

"It just seemed you two had gotten closer recently and you're so pretty and smart and likeable so I figured."

You laughed, hard and loud and for a long time at this.

"You're laughing..."

"I'm laughing because...because Tommy was trying to help me get with you."

"With me?"

"With you dummy! Hanging out with Sarah, trying to get me to the movies with you, making me wear that outfit to the bar."

"I liked that outfit..."

"Not the point! The point is, I like you! And I have for a while now."

"Me too..." He kept just letting his sentences trail off.

"So why didn't you do anything about it?"

"Didn't think I was ready. Didn't think Sarah was ready. But I've decided I'd rather try then see you with anyone else, especially my brother."

You laughed.

"So, you gonna finally kiss me, Miller?"

"You bet your ass I'm gonna."

He pulled you into a deep kiss, letting you go a few seconds later. He rested his forehead on yours.

"You should apologize to Tommy."

He sighed, "I should... maybe thank him too."

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leebrontide · 1 year

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Ok so I said I would do a post on “reasons you’re not writing” from the POV of a writer/therapist who works with anxious, depressed, and neurodivergent clients. If you dig that, read on.

But firstly, a disclaimer. This list is far from comprehensive. Don’t yell at me if your experience isn’t represented. This is a tumblr post. Have realistic expectations.

Also, sometimes the reason you’re not writing is that your other obligations are just taking all of your energy and focus. Fixing that is well beyond the scope of this.

That said, here’s a bunch of barriers I see people run into all the time.

1) You’re afraid of failing, and subconsciously feel like it’s safer not to try.

This is a tricky one, because it's probably messing up many areas of your life, which in turn means you're going to frequently feel stressed out in general, which speaks to the point above.

This is around about where the general internet will tend to offer you an array of affirmations to use to sooth yourself. And that's fine. If those work for you, then use them! BUT, if the affirmations aren't working, then friend you have a bigger project on your hands.

You need to get comfortable with failing, particularly at creative projects. I know that can feel scary and vulnerable, but you won't take risks if you can't fail, which is going to hem in your creativity so hard that your motivation will starve. This is why people talk about writing a garbage draft. Not because they want to make garbage, but because they need the option of making garbage in order to take risks. That may or may not work for you, but either way, you really might wanna look at how to lower your stakes.

2) You’re not sure what you’re trying to communicate.

You can make things happen in the story, but you feel like you’re wandering around aimlessly. You don't find you're making decisions with conviction. It might be hard to really fall in love with any of your writing decisions.

For this one, I suggest stepping back and figuring out what the core of your enthusiasm for a story consists of. That CAN be a message or philosophy. It can also be a feeling or a vibe or a dynamic. That gives you a structure that you can build your decisions around, that you can be enthusiastic about.

3) You switched hyperfocus. And maybe your new hyperfocus is a lot of fun, but you feel sadness thinking about the WIP you left behind.

This one has a similar need to the one before, with an added layer of nuance, because you're probably already struggling with identifying what does interest you. This can make people feel really hopeless and helpless.

I have three totally different suggestions for this one. The first is to just be patient with yourself. Sometimes it's good for your brain to just indulge, and let your brain mine for dopamine where it can. Like, lean in. Spa day for your brain, as long as it's feeling good.

Secondly, see if you can find creative ways to weave your hyperfocus into your writing. Is there a dynamic in your favorite show that can inspire your writing, even if it's an original work? Do you want to take a moment to think about how transportation works in the history of your world? Can you consider your MCs relationship to old movies?

It doesn't always work, but sometimes instead of trying to switch things over, you can build a bridge, that gives depth and texture to your work.

Finally- consider embracing short fiction! Do some writing inspired directly by the hyperfocus du joir while it's around.

4) You feel like nothing you say will be interesting to anyone else.

We understand this is a self-esteem issue, right? You're gonna have to develop the trust that your experiences are not so utterly unrelatable to everyone else that your perspective has no value.

Friend, you are a human, with human experiences, writing for other humans. Trust me, you can do this.

It can help to think about your actual convictions. What do you know? What have you experienced? What matters to you? Funnily enough, the cure for feeling like nothing in you is worth expressing is to pour more of yourself into your writing.

5) You’re collapsed. It’s hard to feel enthusiasm and energy for things.

You're not gonna like this, but for this one I encourage you to put your keyboard or notebook down and stop trying to write right now. I know that when you're feeling better the writing feels good, and you're trying to feel better because everyone is telling you to feel better.

But it's not working, is it? If it was, you wouldn't be reading this.

For many people, writing requires them to be able to feel investment and excitement, because those feelings help steer them towards what's going to work and be exciting for the reader.

Your best bet is to focus your energy on finding gentle little activities that aren't so hard to focus on. Ideally, ones that get you moving just a little bit. You'll have a better time writing when you're less collapsed.

Shaming yourself and getting hopeless and anxious because you can't do this really difficult task right now will make you more collapsed, not less, which will be the opposite of helpful.

And yes, these are depression symptoms. Consider reaching out for supports and assessment around that if you can.

6) You can’t figure out the next step.

Thank God for the internet, this one is a lot more actionable than it used to be.

The first thing to do here is step back and ask yourself "where am I getting lost?" If you have someone to talk this through with, even better.

Then you hop on to your favorite search engine and type in "Stuck on my outline 2nd act" or "can't get started editing" or whatever. People LOVE giving writing advice. There's plenty around. Read some advice! Try things out!

Now here is the critical point- when and if that advice fails, stop and figure out why it failed. For example, I have a short term memory disorder. Most writing process advice is for people who do not have short term memory impairments. So a lot of the advice just plain didn't work for me.

By figuring out that my subpar memory was in the way of my writing process, I was able to put together processes that work for my specific brain and my specific process. You can read about that in more depth here and here.

Frankenstien yourself a process out of stolen bits of other people's processes, with an understanding of your own personalized needs as the lightning that brings it all to life. If you have even traits of ADHD or autism or other forms of neurodiversity (no diagnosis needed) you might also google "ADHD editing hacks".

Finally, and maybe most importantly, chuck anything that you can't adapt right into the trash. I don't care how great the writer who gave the advice is. That's what works for their life and their brain. You have neither. Writing advice is only as useful as it is adaptable.

7) You think of yourself as someone who doesn’t finish things, possibly with history to back that up.

Oh, I feel this one. This was me so hard. For so long.

Make room for the idea that you can and will change over time. Getting shit done is largely a matter of developing a bunch of skills. You've already developed so many different skills in your life that you might not even recognize some of them as skills. But I promise you that you have.

But you see #6? Go read that one again. If you're not finishing things, it's because there's something missing in your routine and process that you haven't developed skills around yet.

I'm not gonna tell you it's easy, but you can find and isolate the barriers and figure out ways around them.

8) You have too many projects and feel frozen when you try to pick one to work on.

Ask yourself if this is a real problem. It may be! Maybe you dream of making a living off of your writing! That requires a level of consistency.

But it also might just be that you've had it drilling into your head that not finishing things is some kind of personal failing.

Write out all your WIPs and story seeds.

See if some of them can be mushed into one. Some AMAZING stories come from people combining story ideas that seem separate into a single story. That's fun.

See if some of them are not for finishing. What's that post going around? Some stories are for finishing, and some are just for "getting the wiggles out"? That's solid advice.

Maybe some stories are just for daydreaming on the bus. Maybe some stories are actually only 1/3rd of a story, and you want to leave it to grow in the ground before you try to do anything with it. That's incredibly valid and common!

If you actually look at the stories that you have that are for finishing, right now, you may find a much more manageable number. And if you only have like 2 or 3 things you're working on, you can just let them take turns as the passion for each project takes you.

Keep a file somewhere of these undeveloped ideas. I have a scrivner file that has each idea it's own little sub-document so I can add thoughts to them for years as they percolate.

9) You get lost in preparation and don’t make it to the page.

A couple different things can be happening here. One thing that may be happening is that you're just a writer who needs a lot of research and prep time before you write. I'm like that. I will prewrite intensively for a year before I write a single sentence. That sounds ridiculous to a lot of people but it works with how my brain works and then when I do start writing I can easily and happily churn out a consistent 2-4k words per hour. If it works it works! Don't let anyone shame you!

The other option is that you feel like you're going to get something wrong/fail/get in trouble if you get anything "wrong". You feel safer doing research, so that's where you stay.

Only you can figure out which it is. Introspect. Then you know whether to focus on managing anxiety or just keep preppin.

10) You want to write, but when you sit down to write suddenly it’s two hours later and you’ve written like 5 words but curated 3 new playlists, read some fanfiction, and argued with some strangers on the internet.

Brains are rough, aren't they.

There are two schools of thought here. Both work, but not for all the same people.

Option 1 is to clear distractions. Download one of those apps that keeps you off the internet. Put your phone someplace that you need a ladder to reach, so you have to very actively decide to go get it. Noise cancelling headphones. Comfy clothes. Protein rich snacks and a beverage within easy reach. Pee ahead of time. Make a routine out of it to train your brain into associating this with focus.

Option 2 is to figure out the optimal level of distraction. When I write nonfiction I almost always have mindless home renovation shows on at the same time. Because nonficiton writing isn't quite stimulating enough to hold my attention. So my attention wanders and I end up doing something that WILL hold my attention. When I write fiction, I need music OR to be outdoors where I can look at trees or clouds or people on the sidewalk. I can't watch any kind of TV.

Think of your attention like a pie chart. Different writing tasks may take up different percentages of that pie. If you're awesome at focus maybe you can just put 90% of your focus on writing, and the other 10% is just making sure you don't forget to eat or something. But if you can't reliably conjure up more than 70% for one thing, then fill the rest of the pie with things you can easily pick up and put down. I only look up at the home decorating shows when my passive audio scanning suggests it's something I want to look up at.

These are both good approaches. Ignore anyone who demonizes either. That only means they've found the version that works for them.

You have your brain. Build a process for your brain.

I hope this helps. I have a free monthly newsletter if you like hearing my rants. It is...not consistently about writing advice or mental health. One time I wrote about how genetically modified goats are related to French colonized Madagascar in the 1800s as well as the modern US military. One time I broke down modern challenges to medical privacy practice policies. This is all to do with what I write but in an idiosyncratic way.

Cause I gotta write about what I care about.

#writeblr #mental health #neurodiversity #writing #writing advice #writing process #writing procrastination

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heavens-aesthetic-kitchen · 10 days

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Why the TF2 Defense Trio deserve more recognition

The people have spoken, I have decided to create an essay disguised as a post on this godforsaken website because it's a free country goddammit! (I would have done it either way lmaooo, I have a lot of shit to say about these maniacs) To start this formal essay glorified very serious shitpost, why should you as a tf2 fan care about these 3 men? They're so "boring" and there's not much going on with them. If ya took a second, let's pause with what was being said. YOU MUST BE OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND to think such thoughts, we must shake you out of cuckoo land by giving you an in-depth look into these three so that you understand where I'm coming from. Let's start in order:

Demoman:

After being in the fandom since 2019, there's always one character I always thought wasn't given much anything in the fandom at all. Even taking ships out of the equation, there's barely any fics I've that focus on Tavish Finneagan Degroot specifically that I've seen that isn't a compilation fic (I read a lot of x readers, don't judge me). Believe me, I checked ao3. I went through Demoman's tags and I tried very hard to filter a lot of the crossover and relationship tags, yet there's less of Demoman himself, than there's him just existing as a side character of a story. Which is honestly sad, I honestly think Demo is one of the more kinder mercs compared to a lot of the team. This man made friends with the BLU soldier, despite knowing that they were supposed to be killing each other. Sure, it's unclear whether or not Demo did actually go through with it and it's just a ruse, because the voicelines in WAR! don't have a set timeline. But I do think that Demo would have tried to keep his friendship with BLU soldier. He's very chill. I've never actually seen him get violent against his friends and family, despite being a drunkard. I honestly think he's one of the sweetest people in TF2, he takes good care of his mom and haunted sword lmaoooo. Jokes aside, he seems like a genuinely good man and I barely see anything that suggests he's sadistic. He's a chaotic and loud, but not bad. Not bad at all. The fact he can still do his job well, even after drinking so much that his body created a whole distillery, is even more impressive. He is damn good at what he does and works very hard. He's had multiple jobs, even as wee little lad. Despite what people think of him, the fact he's getting paid 5 million dollars a year, is proof he knows what he's doing. He loves his job and couldn't bear the thought of not working. I feel like his backstory isn't talked about enough in the fandom either. When you think about it, it's kinda fucked up that he was put in an orphanage by his biological parents until he was in the right age to be blowing people up. Not only that, his eye socket was haunted by the Bombinomicon so that every halloween a giant eye would manifest, attacking him and his friends. Even Medic couldn't help him and instead resorting to scooping the part of Demo's brain where he remembered so he would stop asking. He most likely has a lot of stories for you, I see him as the type that has a lot to say. His past is the most fleshed out and complete out of all the mercs, which I really appreciate, you can do a lot more with him. Also another thing, during Unhappy Returns, he took the time to reassure Soldier that he wouldn't think he's a civilian. He didn't brush Soldier's worries aside and instead comforted him. I wish I had a lot more to say about Demo because I am baffled that he isn't being gushed about as a potential partner. He has the excitement and like zero baggage. A thing I also wanna point out is that he seems to be insecure of the fact he's a black scottish man with only one eye during Meet The Demoman. I may be reading into things a bit too much, but it makes me wanna be like "NOOOO don't talk about yourself like that, bro. You're so cute UGHHH" Also also he's handsome. Sure looks can be subjective, but I still think Demo has a face I would kiss hehe. He looks great with his beard and his cheeky ass smile. GOD I could gush about him all day, but I have to move on rip.

Heavy:

Honestly, I'm having a hard time just finding the words to describe this amazing man without giving him the respect he deserves. But I'll sure try. Heavy has had a difficult life and I've always admired how strong he was. Not just of his muscles, but he endured one of the toughest situations and still kept moving forward with his life even though it was traumatizing. You see why I'm even having a hard time talking about him? I can't really get down into the weeds, without getting serious for a min. I feel like the fandom doesn't give him much credit for being able to deal with so much. He's the rock for his family after his father disappeared (atp I think he's dead, which is the cherry on top this depressing sundae) and I wouldn't doubt that he would be the same for his team. He's a man of few words, but that makes him all the more intriguing. Just because this man has a lot of brawn does not mean he's dumb at all. Despite how he acts in the battlefield, Heavy is observant and clever. Although, it's implied that Spy being Scout's dad is an open secret between the mercs and Miss Pauling, the fact he figured it out without saying it directly must mean he has a lot more going on. He's also educated, getting a phD in Russian Literature. It's not a STEM program, but he actually got a doctorate and went to college, that's a lot more than half of what the mercs did lmaooo. Also he has a bit of a softie side, not just for his mom and sisters, but also other creatures as well. I respect him so much for avoiding violence against those dogs during the Showdown comic. Not only shows what an absolute sweetheart he is, but also how much he's able to think quickly on his feet. Heavy is very direct and blunt, I don't see him as the type to lie about his feelings. I appreciate that he doesn't feel the need to sugarcoat anything, he'll get the job done and he ain't playing. There's no fluff, he knows what he wants and that's to rev up Sasha and ram through sons of bitches without any worries.

I feel like I wanna point out, his story seems the most unexplored in the fandom, even though it has a lot of potential for ANGST factor. I already broke down how sad it is, but I just feel like it isn't said enough. Can I just say how cuddly he looks?! GAH, I feel like he would give the warmest hugs! The way he smiled in Unhappy Returns when he finds out his family doesn't need to live in fear anymore, just melts my heart! He's so protective over his family and friends! I wish I had a lot more to say about this guy because I just can't stop finding more things about him that go unappreciated. I had to literally edit this part so many times before moving on, he just has those little details you don't notice until you take a second and have that OH MY GOD moment

Engineer:

I was getting so hyped, when it was finally our resident southern nerd's time to shine. GOD I have so much to say about this man. It's been over 5 fucking years and I have never stopped simping for this man since 2019, I think I'm gonna go insane from how much I've been repressing, I go feral when he's around. Anyways enough stalling. I don't ever think a fictional character has ever made me swoon quite like Engineer, I really mean that. I have ask and pleaded to whatever god was listening to give me a man like Engie. To me, he is everything I ever wanted and more.

First, I wanna talk about what makes him attractive to me. His accent. His southern charm, UGH he's killing me with that smooth voice and chivalry! I swear this man could make me faint just from existing. The way he smiles is so warm, his insults are so corny I love them. That five o clock shadow GAHH! I'm getting butterflies all over again. I swear I love all three of the defense bois, but Dell Conagher has my heart wrapped around his gunslinger metal finger. All those personal reasons aside, I've always thought Dell Conagher was a very interesting character in the world of TF2. He might not have much screen time or goofy shenanigans like the other mercs, but that doesn't mean you can ignore him oh no no no. This man is important within the whole story of Mann Co and TF industries, his grandfather being the catalyst of the game's events and the comics going forward. The Conaghers are the SOLE REASON why Team Fortress 2's story exists. I find it strange that the fandom hasn't done much with this fact because you can do a lot with this idea. Engineer knows a lot of shit and would be the biggest threat to Helen, if not for the fact that his family has been helping her for years.

Like his backstory, he's not seen much in the battlefield, but he has a lot more going on behind the scenes. Imagine the possibilities. He is damn intelligent and he knows it. While Dell is very sweet and has a southern charm, this is a facade to hide his God complex and sadistic tendencies. If you think this man is just your boring gentle engineer, you've got a big storm coming. It's heavily implied that he sawed off his own arm so that he could use the gunslinger. This man works on projects with Medic and doesn't question the moral implications of putting a human brain in a pumpkin. Hell, he threatened his own employer, even if he was an old man (Granted, Blutarch dug up his grandpa's grave, so he probably should have gotten something a lot worse than just Dell telling him to fuck off). Engineer is more than the texan egghead sweetie pie, he is a mercenary for a reason and I would argue that he might be as insane, if not more than, the rest of the team. No sane man would willingly work with a bunch of war criminals if he wasn't also crazy. That's the thing I really like about him. I love playing as him in the game because it represents his character very well. He technically serves a supportive role to the team with his buildings, but he is a killer with a lot of tools in his disposal, With the right amount of training, he can absolutely dominate in the battlefield.

I feel like he's one of the people that underestimate and assume that he's an easy target, but he's a lot more than that. He has a lot of layers that makes me want to learn more about him and what he has to offer.

In Conclusion:

These guys are cool. Lmaooo okay I won't just end it there. I genuinely believe that they're not getting the recognition that they deserve, they've got a lot more going for them if you pay attention. Sure they might not always be the loudest or most prominant character in the story, but what they lack in quantity, they make up for in quality TEN FOLD. They don't have to be your favourite, but you should at least give them a chance. You never know, they may surprise you.

Okay so thats enough of that, I couldn't find a divider above this message, so you're getting this grainy ass gif. Honestly, I put way too much effort on this shitpost lmaooo, but I just wanted to get my thoughts out in a more concise manner. If you want to add more stuff about these three that I didn't mention, feel free to do so. Anyways thanks for reading

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 demoman #tf2 engineer #tf2 heavy #tf2 engie #tf2 demo #tf2 mikhail #tf2 defense #i spent way too long on this post than I should have bruh #enjoy the ramblings of a thirsty idiot #defense nation rise up

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