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yondzone · 3 years

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Bungou stray dogs relationship headcanons

sfw very sligth nsfw

those under 16 please do only read the sfw part

↰ 𓂃 ⌲ ⌂.

⋆ ☄.⠈⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠂* ; ☔

𝕱𝖎𝖔𝖉𝖔𝖗 𝕯𝖔𝖘𝖙𝖔ï𝖊𝖛𝖘𝖐𝖎

▚ 𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ If you managed to have your way to his heat, then you are definitely one special fellow to him, so only to you and around you he will show is soft persona that he never let anyone see in decade.

⌗ If you end up living together, the little time he his at home he will he bring your breakfast at bed to make up for the fact that he his basically never here.

⌗ He prefer kissing you on the cheek rather than on the lips. And in the morning (if by miracle he didn’t already leave) he’ll automatically kiss you cheek to wake you up. And if he his here before going to sleep he’ll ask for a kiss on the cheek.

⌗ He also like night cuddles (of course he won’t admit it.) he never touched anybody so you give hi this feeling of constant novelty.

⌗ He loves when you are jealous and he is gonna tease you with those word : "you seems jealous, is everything fine ? :)" in fact he hates people but if it means seeing your jealous face he don’t mind playing the womanizer for some minute to just tease you.

▚ 𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗Fyodor is definitely a top this bitch will rather die than being a bottom.

⌗ He know the effect it have on you when he tie his hair up so you can be sure that evrrytime you do the deed he while have is hair up ✨.

⌗ Low key have a master servant kink that get him going for hours.

⌗ Hes not someone very vocal when you both do it.

⌗ He doesn’t look like this but he his really touchy in the bed.

⌗ Bed is his favorite place he is quite traditional in fact he does not want it in other place rather than the bedroom.

⌗ But he lost his traditionalism the day you introduced to him ‘sex toys’ oh so a new way to torture you without killing you? he’ll take this opportunity gladly.

⌗ One day you tried to be on top and your ‘master’ did not like that so he destroyed you for the whole night.

𝕮𝖍𝖚𝖚𝖞𝖆 𝕹𝖆𝖐𝖆𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆

▚ 𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ Chuuya is very romantic, like very romantic.

⌗ He likes kisses, giving and receiving, he does not have a favorite place to kiss or to be kissed because he loves hems all.

⌗ When he is stressed or tired (or both), he likes to cuddle you, wine and cuddle are his comfort things.

⌗ Speaking of cuddling, he likes to cuddle you while taking a shower (hot water and rose petals) after all he his very comfortable with you and love your presence

⌗ He feels more confident when you compliment him, and he will shamelessly admit it ‘please compliment me more’

⌗ Chuuya is quite jealous and possessive. If someone tries to hit on you or make a move, he will go feral on this person and make sure everyone in the future who you belong too

⌗ A whore for PDA in public, he will always hold your hand or put his arm around you, so that everyone will see that you are taken.

⌗ He won't tell you that he loves you often, because he prefer action out of words. He's the type of person willing to do anything to drown you in gifts and make you happy.

⌗ If you find something nice or cool, he will buy it for you, just to see you smile. Needy Chuuya want to see you smile

▚ 𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ He his totally a switch, one day he can feel like a total top and the day after will feel the need to be dominated.

⌗ He like being on top yes, but he prefer it when you are riding him he really love seeing you body from below, its exquisite.

⌗ He is an hips man, he love them. So you being on top of him gives him the opportunity to admire and explore your body.

⌗ Chuuya likes your moans very much, he finds them adorable and it shows that you feel good, which makes him happy.

⌗ Chuuya is vocal, way too much vocal in the bed.

⌗ He his considered as the king of aftercare trust me, its heaven.

𝕯𝖆𝖟𝖆𝖎 𝕺𝖘𝖆𝖒𝖚

▚ 𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ Do not lie to yourself, a relationship with Dazai have high chance of ending not well because of some toxicity he may develop as time goes on.

⌗ He his really possesive, once he got you he wont let you go,never ever.

⌗ He love to kiss you. He loves the taste of your lips and the feeling of kissing you makes him feel something he never had.

⌗ In public, dazai will be the dork he his but… in worse. (yes its possible) he will be playful to death with you.

⌗ While when you are alone, he is much more sentimental but he will continue to remain slightly playful.

⌗ He loves teasing you, if he manage to make you blush, it will makes him continue even more because he finds you oh so adorable when you are embarrassed.

⌗ At night, he will cuddle you while holding you tightly, so that you can feel safe and loved.

▚ 𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ Dazai doesn't really feel the need to have sex he have better thing to do and never really tough about commitment wit anybody.

⌗ But when it's with you, he will have sex with you after-all all opportunity to your body, he’ll take it.

⌗ Slow and passionate sex over here! He his rarely pn the fast and rough side but if you ask he’ll comply to any of your desire.

⌗ He don't really have favorite position, nor kink except maybe some bondage

⌗ Did I forget that he have a praise kink? Of course receiving and giving,

⌗ Dazai is very vocal, im not talking about moan they are relatively low, but about praise, when you both are doing the deed, praise are overflowing (🦋🦋🦋)

𝕾𝖎𝖌𝖒𝖆

▚ 𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ Sigma never had anything except his casino which his his whole life so at first when he get implied in a relationship he will be clumsy not knowing how human relation work

⌗ He will need guidance from you, he wont make first move simply because he does not know how it work.

⌗ He his kind, really really kind to you. He view you as something very fragile and it will take time for him to comprehend that you are not weak.

⌗ Because he his always in his casino the only moment you can see him his when he his in his office, he barely goes to sleep too occupied maintaining the casino.

⌗ You finally gave him what he desired : reasons to live, you are very much cherished by him.

⌗ And you also need to cherish him and make him gain confidence in himself.

▚ 𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ He his a bottom he have no social skill and does not know anything about how the society or relationship work as I already said.

⌗ You basically need to do everything and engage everything.

⌗ Your kink are his kink, you’re favorite position is also his favorite.

⌗ The man cry a lot out of pleasure in the bedroom, he his utterly beautiful when he cries.

⌗ As time goes by he will gain in assurance and try to be on top but out of habit he just revert back to being bellow. But please praise him, he tried.

𝕹𝖎𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖆𝖘 𝕲𝖔𝖌𝖔𝖑

▚ 𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ … how did you get yourself into this relationship again?

⌗ do not go out with him I repeat to not go out with him, at home its okay but when in public he start to theatrically declare his love to you, I promise dying would be better than having to support this embarrassment anymore.

⌗ you know that he love asking rhetorical question right? Just let him be, read a book or play on your phone while he monologue

⌗ the number of nickname you have can’t be counted on two hands

⌗ he forces you to call him by nickname and pet name he himself thought of ‘from now on call me the pineapple of your ocean eyes’ …. the fuck is wrong with his brain, where your first tough

⌗ He always kept on repeating that he wanted to be free and first say to you that you should not hope for him to be sweet or be present but every time you come home he his here patiently waiting on the couch.

⌗ his change of persona really surprise you every time they happen, even after years of dating it’s sill hard for you to grasp his true self, a playful sadistic idiot, or a serious full of guilt person aware of his cruel crime.

▚ 𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖜 :

⌗ he his so sadistic, he love to see you cry

⌗ definitely into cosplay and role play in the bedroom ‘today I am the pirate and you my parrot look at those beautiful costume’

⌗ you have an enormous box with all of your disguises

⌗ he have every sex toy possible, may or may not have already bought every sex toy from a store

⌗ usually rough, very rough, and sometime he break the mood with his goofy attitude, he does not mind the mood being broke because he’ll restore it in no time

⌗ they are time he his acting like a narrator as he fuck you ‘then gogol slowly slap her pink ass-’ this is really disturbing

⌗ you can have a little of respite when he decide to have sex with his serious personality respite.

when it happen it’s fast but passionate and stop the joke and the room become silent only filled with both of your moans

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astaroth1357 · 3 years

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The Brothers as Angels of Virtue

My Brain: Stop thinking about the Angel!Brothers. The Angel!Brothers aren’t real. Like, they’re even less real than usual.

Me: But they are real!! *puts hand over heart* They’re real to me… in my heart…!

My Brain: “Your heart” ain’t in the canon but whatever, good luck with your delusions…

Me: Oh yeah?? Well I’ll show you, Brain!! I can FORCE this to work with the canon!!!

Brain: Nani!?!

Angel of Humility, Lucifer

Lucifer obviously wasn’t the first angel, Michael and Gabriel were there before him so those two had the most hand in “mentoring” him as he grew up.

Lucifer was always Michael’s favorite from the beginning. He was a very mild-mannered and studious kid from the get-go, even if he could be a bit blunt...

He seemed to always be willing to learn something new and even after he would all but master whatever he practiced, he’d never forget to give credit to the people who taught him along the way. His willingness to step out of the spotlight, despite his many talents, eventually earned him the virtue of “Humility.”

Lucifer was around his pre-teens when Mammon was finally created, slightly too old to be able to grow up with him super closely, but still young enough to be more approachable than Michael or the others when he needed help.

Lucifer loved little Mammon with all his heart and would try to give him advice when he could, but since Michael would keep him busy helping him on most days Mammon was left with little people to socialize with… at least until Levi came along anyway.

As time passed and he grew even older, more and more siblings became added to the family. Lucifer never ignored or forgot about a single one of them. While Michael and others concerned themselves more with the day-to-day work, he’d be the one to check in on everyone and be sure they were alright.

Michael would arrange for a lot of “family activities” while they were all still together and Lucifer would actually enjoy participating. He’d usually volunteer to be the person who’d help the youngest at the table learn how to play a game since he wasn’t very competitive himself. A lot of the goodwill his family still has for him comes from these kinds of memories… No matter what happened afterwards.

Angel of Charity, Mammon

Mammon came around a fair amount of time after Lucifer so he was the youngest angel for quite a while.

This led him to grow up a little… wilder than the others because he used to do things to get attention. Not big things, but like break a rule here or there to get people noticing you know?

Despite his “problem child” tendencies, no one ever considered Mammon a bad apple or anything. He probably had the most compassionate heart out of all the angels, the kind of kid who offers you one of their toys when they see you’re upset, you know?

As more siblings came into the picture, Mammon had a nasty habit of spoiling them silly. Especially Levi, who was much closer to his age, and ultimately got most of the toys when they would play together and gifts afterwards. Mammon’s selfless attitude towards giving gave him the virtue of “Charity.”

Over time, Mammon began to get more and more dissatisfied with how nice the lives of angels were compared to those of humans and he started making secret trips to the human world to help out the less fortunate. Since this was tiptoeing dangerously close to meddling with human lives, Lucifer was brought in to give Mammon a different outlet for his frustration...

Lucifer placed Mammon in the guardian angel program, allowing him to pick one human whom he could help as much as he liked, so long as he followed the rules. As it would turn out, Mammon took to guardianship swimmingly and stayed in the program right up until their eventual fall… and sort of afterwards too if you think about it.

Angel of Kindness, Leviathan

After Levi was made, Mammon was SO excited to have someone close to his age around that he became his main playmate.

Levi adored Mammon back then, the two were practically inseparable when they were young. The other angels would find them running around together, the more extroverted and lively Mammon leading the way for his his shy, but sweet brother in for whatever they were doing.

When Mammon would come up with any big project ideas, Levi would be the first person he’d ask to be his “partner-in-crime.” Unfortunately, it was still very much one of those “they’re a pair, but they have two braincells between them” kind of dynamics so things would always go south quick.

One day, Mammon was determined to make breakfast for all the other angels so Michael could take a break, so he pulled in Levi to help him. Because neither of them actually knew how to cook, the kitchen turned into a disaster and they both were covered in eggs and flour when Lucifer found them...

As Levi grew up, he more or less became of the unofficial helper and confidant to all the other angels, his siblings included. In time, because he was always so willing to lend a hand with everyone else’s projects, he became pretty skilled at a lot of things as a result. People eventually took note of Levi’s good-nature and named his virtue “Kindness.”

When Mammon started acting up more and more, the other angels would try to discourage Levi from associating with him as much but he’d always be the first to stick up for his older brother. No matter how much he bent the rules, he knew that he had a good heart and always meant well in the end. That, unfortunately, wouldn’t always hold true down the line...

Angel of Chastity, Asmodeus

There was another gap between Levi’s creation and Asmo’s so yet again there was a young angel without anyone their age to play with…

Unlike Mammon’s situation, however, Asmo was at least fortunate enough to have older brothers who understood what that felt like and tried their best to play with him when they could. Lucifer did this in particular because he was worried that Asmo could start acting out like Mammon had all those years ago...

Because of the extra attention, Asmo took to Lucifer very quickly. He saw him sort of how Luke sees Michael for quite a while and wanted to help him as much as he could. Sometimes people would even joke that Asmo was like his shadow, because the little angel would follow him around and mimic whatever he did.

Because they were together so much, Lucifer did a lot to shelter Asmo from the less savory things in life... It wasn’t so much out of prudence as it was brotherly concern for the boy, Mammon was still quarreling with him about the state of the human world and he didn’t want Asmo to go down a similar path... Due to this, Asmo had a very sheltered view on life and his perpetual wide-eyed innocence earned him the virtue of “Chastity.”

After he got a little older, he started wanting to find his own identity apart from Lucifer and that was around the time that the twins were made.

Though everyone adored the twins, Asmo loved them both most of all! He took on the role of their babysitter and wouldn’t hear anything to the contrary, though he was a much more relaxed guardian than Lucifer had been to him (mostly because he was just so soft for their cute little faces).

Angel of Temperance, Beelzebub

It was a big deal when the twins were created because it’s very rare for two angels to be made so close together, on the same day no less. Beel came first when the sun rose then Belphie second after it fell.

Asmo was ecstatic to have a younger sibling at last and all of the other brothers were equally delighted. Though Asmo did a lot of their babysitting, Beel was still more closely drawn to Lucifer whenever he would watch them. During those times, he would notice how tired Lucifer would be whenever he got to play with them… this would come to affect him later on.

The twins were always close to each other, naturally, but there were still big differences in their personalities even back then. Beel had always been known for his even-temper and awareness of both others and himself. If Mammon was the kid who’d give you his toys, Beel was the one to listen to your problems (even if he didn’t understand them, like at all).

From a young age, Beel would quietly watch those around him. The Celestial Realm was a demanding environment and a lot of angels had a good deal of work to do... Beel connected the dots that doing all this work all the time led to a lot of stress early on.

Being a caring soul, Beel used this knowledge to intervene when he saw his brothers getting overworked and helped remind them of their limits. This would apply especially to his twin (who was pretty much his patient zero) and Lucifer, who eventually grew to rely on Beel’s advice so much he made him part of his personal guard. His guidance and insight beyond his years eventually gave him the title of “Temperance.”

Though Beel was protective of everyone, Belphie often got most of his attention because of his tendency to push himself farther than he needed to. It was his desire to see his twin take more breaks that led him to asking Mammon if Belphie could start going to the human world and well… We know where that ends up.

Angel of Diligence, Belphegor

As the younger of the twins, all the other angels considered Belphie to be the baby of the family and treated him as such. Asmo adored him because he was just so cute, so he got coddled A LOT when compared to everyone else.

Belphie differed from his brother by being the more active of the two. While Beel would be comfortable to sit back and watch then lend a hand, Belphie always felt more better just getting up and doing whatever needed done himself, usually with a smile in the process. He would actually have to lean on Beel quite a lot because of this, since his twin could remind him to rest and take breaks.

Combine his cheerful attitude with his cute face and “baby brother” status and Belphie could always get away with quite a lot, even back then. Of all the boys, even Lucifer couldn’t bring himself to be too hard on him. That didn’t really become a problem until he got a little older though...

Beel was worried that Belphie wasn’t getting enough rest, so he convinced Mammon to start taking Belphie out with him when he went to the human world as a guardian angel. He figured that if Belphie was away from work, then he had to rest, right? Mammon agreed and that’s what sparked Belphie’s fascination with the human world to start with.

After getting to go a couple times, he would start working extra hard in order to suck up to Lucifer, Michael, or whoever he could so he could go again. When the other angels started getting concerned that he was spending too much time there, they tried to put a limit on it to keep him home. However, that just lead him to sneaking out and leaving notes for Beel on where to find him if people started noticing...

Beel tried his best to curtail his twin’s trips, but even he couldn’t really tell Belphie no when he needed to hear it. By the time Lilith came around, Belphie was already making regular trips there and back and well… That’s how the story goes.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me scenarios #obey me angels

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moonlit-imagines · 3 years

Text

Cover-Up

Avengers x teen!reader

warnings:

a/n:

prompt:

Thin ice.

That’s what Secretary Ross had said to you the last time you spoke. You’re on thin ice, kid.

Why did he choose to threaten you like that? Because you were iffy on the Accords. That was all it took. He was threatening your position as an Avenger, one you had fought so hard to secure. And there were still hurdles you hadn’t quite hopped yet, being the youngest on the team and all. A “kid” to them.

One strike and you were out, they warned you some years ago, but did you listen?

No, that’s why you were standing in an evacuated airport with Steve and the sensible half of the gang. Guard up, morale down...but you suppose that your expectations were the same.

“Y/N, you really need to rethink this one before it’s too late.” Tony had warned you, but you were so goddamned sick of being warned. You knew exactly what you were doing and you were not going to be stopped, it was time for them to stop pretending like you needed constant guidance.

“Do I, Tony?” You crossed your arms and tapped your foot on the pavement, just on the verge of snapping. “Have some faith in me, why don’t you? Who’s got a better track record of thinking things through: me or you?”

“Seriously, kid, you’re putting everything in jeopardy.” He sounded serious, that was new. “If you get stuck on the wrong side of this, it’s no more avenging for you.”

“Is that a threat?” You raised your eyebrows as Steve glanced at you, making sure that you weren’t having second thoughts. Yeah, right.

“That’s a promise.” Tony honestly looked a little scared. He should be. “Do you remember how hard it was to get you on the team? You were a child—still are, might I add! They said you didn’t belong out here, we said you did. I’m beginning to regret that now.”

“You’re saying they’re gonna demote me?” Could he tell you were stalling? Oof, guess you’ll know soon enough.

“Demote you?” Tony repeated back. “I wish that were it, y/n. You’re gonna get canned, blacklisted. They’re gonna make your life a living hell. You really want to give it all up now? You’ve come so far, don’t throw it all away over Steve’s sentiment.” You’d heard enough of that, now it was time to lose your cool.

“This isn’t all about helping Steve,” you told him while raising your fists, ready to cause some chaos, “I’m sick of taking the fall for you.” Tony rolled his eyes and finally called for backup.

“Underoos!” A blur of red flew in front of you and Steve, disarming your counterpart before the kid rambled an introduction that sounded a bit...off.

“Are you kidding me, Tony? You give me shit for being a kid and then recruit a twelve year old?” You groaned and watched the kid’s masked eyes get wide. “Don’t correct me, bugboy, I don’t care.”

“Yeah, well, he’s on my side so I’m cutting him some slack.” Tony justified his reasoning as you waited just a few more seconds for Scott to get into position.

“That’s enough, are we ready yet? This is starting to get boring.” And then all hell broke loose as Steve got free of webs, Scott threw the first punch, and the rest of your teams took off. That was your chance to strike Tony with a bolt of lightning in an attempt to shut down his suit, but he always had contingencies.

“Nice one, y/n, but I installed a surge protector after the last time!” Tony blasted at you with his repulsors set to stun, only missing you by a hair.

“Oh, yeah? You get one for Rhodes, too?” You asked, switching your aim to the War Machine armor and overloading it until it shut down.

“Seriously, Tony? You didn’t think to upgrade mine, too?” Rhodey groaned while rushing to reboot.

“Get over it!” Tony bickered as you ran by, booking it for the Quinjet. “Vision, don’t let y/n get away!” And then the android was flying towards you.

“I can’t let you go any further, y/n.” He informed, blocking your path and giving you a moment to catch your breath. “It’s not too late to change sides. You could help us all stay together. After all, that’s what we all want.” You took a glimpse behind you at all of your feuding loved ones who were beating each other senseless and although you hated to see it, you would not be backing down so easily.

“I’m not risking innocent lives to stay roommates.” You gave him a quick jolt that’d incapacitate him just long enough for you to escape his grasp, but it wasn’t long before the team called upon you for help.

“Y/N, I need backup!” Steve called over the comms.

“On my way, Cap!” You doubled back and met up with the rest of your team, knowing that this battle had only begun. You looked down the line of allies you had and looked across to allies you’d lost, knowing that this day would change your life forever.

“You guys ready?” You sighed, charging up your fists and deciding on a target.

“Ready for what?” Scott asked as the two lines of super-people began to converge. “Oh, that.” You all picked up the pace and you decided to take the fight to the kid since he’d been causing enough trouble.

“Woah! What was that for?!” He yelped when you gave him a little shock and rubbed is arm. “Am I gonna have a heart attack?”

“You’ll be fine,” you scoffed, still ready to strike again if need be, “and it’s just business, kid. Tony should have known better than to get you involved.”

“Well, Mr. Stark made me this really cool suit, so I’m not complaining.” He shrugged before shooting a web from each wrist, but he’d regret it just as quickly as he acted since you accidentally sent two charges back up the web, sending him flying back.

“Oops...” You covered your mouth and watched to make sure he got back up, or maybe you did give him a heart attack. No, he was getting back up. “Are you good?” You called over.

“Yeah, I’m good!” He gave you a thumbs up and crouched over to catch his breath.

“Just walk it off, kid!” You reused some old advice and were suddenly called on by the person who gave it.

“Y/N, it’s now or never!” You swiveled your head to see Steve and Bucky make a break for it and decided that it was time for you to do the same, so you ran straight past the kid and tried to keep up with the two super soldiers. Thankfully, Wanda gave you a boost so you didn’t get left behind. After Natasha let you past, you and just two of your teammates made it out of there. At least some of you did.

—————

You stood your ground against Tony as he lit up his repulsors, trying to get a clear shot of Bucky or Steve.

“Y/N, you haven’t thought this through at all!” Tony argued with you, trying to get you to see it from his poing of view. “I promise you it’s not too late to turn this all around. I’ll tell Ross you were my double agent or something, anything to keep you from getting thrown in the Raft!” You glanced back at Steve, who was buying into Tony’s rant more than you were.

“He’s right, y/n.” Steve lowered his shoulders some. “I can’t drag you down any more, you can’t come back from this.” You gulped, feeling as something were stuck in your throat. You didn’t think that this battle would lead you here.

“After everything I did to help you, you want to leave me with him?” You asked with tears beginning to brim in your eyelids.

“I don’t want to abandon you, that’s the last thing I’d want to do.” Steve explained. “But I know that Tony’s telling the truth, he won’t let them hurt you. If you get caught with us, they’ll know you’re guilty and you might never come back from it. I can’t let you give it all up for us.” You looked back to Tony, who agreed with Steve for once.

“I’ll make it go away. And I won’t hold it against you, okay? You made me proud, even if you were a pain in the ass.” His hand was still aimed towards Bucky, but you’d yet to budge. This was a big decision you’d have to make. Switching sides just for a bailout? And then Tony’s aim switched to the opposite side of you, just before you felt a hand rest on your shoulder.

“You’d be doing me a favor by keeping yourself in Ross’s good graces, how about that?” Steve tried to reason. “I need you to stay safe, you won’t be safe with us.” You bit down on your tongue and took a deep breath, realizing that you’d have to take the easy way out of this one. You lowered your guard and gave everyone in the vicinity a moment of peace of mind.

“You two are both impossible.” You hung your head and relaxed your tense muscles, knowing that this was no longer your fight.

“Glad you finally realize that, no go wait in the Quinjet.” Tony instructed, patiently waiting for you to leave the blast zone before the three of them got to work. It was about to get much more messy than it did at the airport, they’d rather you miss this part. And even if it broke your heart, they had to do what was best for you. Apparently, it was never too late to start.

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#tony stark #tony stark x reader #tony stark imagine #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #team cap #team cap imagine #team cap x reader #team stark #team stark x reader #team stark imagine #marvel #avengers #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #avengers x reader #avengers imagine

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a-room-of-my-own · 4 years

Note

A bit of reading : orwomen.()scot/did-you-know/?fbclid=IwAR0H7TqxQNqemZcAGFtvR_HLkbkxmZ4FY6srcgrULWxGPyWuc6QPTmDQfVI

Did you know…

…that 80-95% of people who say they are trans choose to have no medical treatment at all – no surgery, no drugs, not even therapy? Transwomen are just male people who subjectively believe that they are female. That’s it. That is all that’s required.

Despite some commentators describing an “epidemic of violence against trans people“, transwomen are no more likely to be murdered than anyone else, and the best data available shows it’s half as likely. In Scotland, zero have been killed. In fact, transwomen are almost twice as likely to be the perpetrator of a murder than to be murdered in the UK, which is not surprising since a male pattern of violence is retained regardless of any transition or cross-dressing.

The 48% of trans youth have attempted suicide statistic is nonsense too. It was based on just 27 trans people (aged 26 and under), from a self-selecting online survey – which made the data worthless. Yet that hasn’t stopped the TIE Campaign peddling similar in Scottish schools (or is it 27%, they seem confused?), contrary to Samaritans advice on avoiding attributing the cause to any one incident. The NHS Gender Identity Development Service actually says “suicide is extremely rare” and rates of self-harm, distress and suicide ideation are similar to other children seen by CAMHS.

Did you know that 1 in 50 males in prison now self-id as trans according to Ministry of Justice figures? If it is so dangerous to be trans why do so many choose to come out when in jail?

Were you aware that 95% of prisoners are men, and 5% women? That most women in prison are there for financial crime, and most men are in for violent offending. Did you know that men commit 98% of sex offences? That 48% of transwomen prisoners are sex offenders (compared to less than 20% in the general male estate) and would swamp the female estate if they all transferred.

What makes these convicted sex offenders, who were born male, women? Why should female prisoners be locked up with rapists if they say “I am a woman”? Are you willing to be in a prison cell with a male rapist on that basis? And if not, do you think other women should be? Are you aware that women have already been sexually assaulted and raped, in several countries, because of this policy?

Did you know that Scotland already has a policy significantly more liberal than England’s, stating that transgender prisoners must normally be housed according to the “social gender” with which they self-identify? And that this policy was brought in by a senior prison officer, himself now a convicted sex offender? A policy put in place without even talking to women’s groups or considering that there would be any impact on female prisoners at all. Despite warnings of abuse, including from former women’s prison governor Rhona Hotchkiss, the promised policy review has not been forthcoming.

What about women’s refuges, have you considered what it could do to a woman fleeing male violence to encounter a male in that refuge? Read why the CEO of a domestic violence charity, Karen Ingala Smith, considers it imperative that refuges remain women-only, and her speech at the Scottish Parliament.

Did you know that a woman was asked to leave a shelter because, as a rape survivor, she couldn’t sleep in the same room as a strange male, regardless of how he identified? Are you aware that a man used self-id to access a women’s shelter where he sexually assaulted vulnerable women? Are you aware that a rape relief shelter in Canada lost all public funding for insisting they remain women-only, and had a dead rat nailed to their door?

Are you aware that the Scottish Government imposes a transwomen inclusive policy on Scottish Women’s Aid as a condition of funding and that Rape Crisis Scotland refused to guarantee a female counsellor for a traumatised teenager? We know from private meetings that they erroneously believe they cannot provide a single-sex service due to a lack of ‘case law’, despite having previously done so for many years. Did you know there is a male manager of a rape crisis centre, who failed to disclose his sex at interview, and which still claims to be women-led?

Are you aware that despite less than half of changing rooms in swimming pools and sports centres being mixed sex, 90% of sexual assaults have happened in them? Yet mixed-sex, ‘gender-neutral’ facilities are constantly pushed, including in schools – contrary to law and building regulations requiring separate sex provision – when it would be more responsible to increase third space unisex provision for the comfort of those who need it.

That’s before you even get into the issue of how to keep out predatory men who aren’t trans, if you say that any man who ‘identifies as a woman’ can use communal changing/showering areas at will. A man exposing himself in a park commits a crime. A man doing so in a women’s changing room, where you’re also naked, who need not have even told staff he identifies as a woman, may no longer be committing an offence.

Did you know that the Scottish Government funded LGBT Youth Scotland, a spin-off group from Stonewall, to write guidance for schools that breaches children’s rights in at least eleven ways? This includes the unscientific belief in gender identity, which even the Justice Minister is at a loss to define, the promotion of harmful breast binding and the removal of all single-sex spaces and sports. No-one should be surprised at this as Stonewall have long campaigned for the removal of women’s rights, although single issue political pressure groups should have been no-where near schoolchildren.

It took the Government until June 2019 to commit to replacing this guidance, having privately received advice that it was “not legal“. Yet, this new legally compliant guidance is seven months overdue and the Education Minister is refusing to withdraw LGBTYS’s guidance in the interim.

Why should we accept smear tests from any male who feels they have a womanly gender identity – what does that even mean (let’s ask the Justice Minister again)? And yes, it is happening. A rape survivor who wanted a woman to carry out her breast screening found her letter used as an example in hospital trans guidance as ‘unacceptable’ and ‘highly discriminatory’. And a woman in a psychiatric ward who was terrified at being locked in a ward with an “extremely male-bodied” fellow patient was regarded as a transphobic bigot. The truth is that women in mixed-sex hospital wards, particularly psych, have very real reasons to fear men.

Did you know that 35 clinicians have resigned from the Tavistock (children’s gender clinic in London) over their failings, including the Governor? Who later wrote a damning account of the abject failure to heed evidence that their affirmation-only policy is harmful to children, especially to the huge influx in girls who may suffer other complex problems, such as trauma, autism, a history of sexual abuse or discomfort with their developing sexuality. A staggering 48% of children referred to Tavistock have ASD traits, and a BBC Newsnight investigation revealed significant numbers of children seeking transition treatment based on their family’s homophobia.

Are you aware that studies show that puberty blockers result in 100% of children progressing to cross-sex hormones – whereas, if left unmedicated, the Tavistocks’s own research shows over 90%, if supported by counselling, are happy with their sex once they emerge from puberty. Did you know hormone blockers may cause sterility, a large decrease in IQ, bone density loss, and more? An investigation by the Health Review Authority concluded that blockers are really the start of irreversible physical transition and recommended that “Researchers and clinical staff should…avoid referring to puberty suppression as providing a ‘breathing space’, to avoid risk of misunderstanding.” This led to a major overhaul of the NHS UK website which no longer considers blockers to be fully reversible and confirms long-term effects are unknown.

The young person’s gender clinic at Sandyford, Glasgow has recently withdrawn their information booklet and we trust it will be similarly updated. Do you think all the government funded trans organisations will be scrupulous in updating their information too – including LGBT Youth guidance in Dumfries and Galloway, Scottish Trans/NHS guidance, and Stonewall advice, among many more, including of course the already deemed “not legal” school guidance by LGBT Youth?

Are you aware that the number of children referred to Sandyford is rising at a faster rate than the rest of the UK? Yet they don’t actually know how many girls have been referred as children can select what sex they want recorded on medical records – although unofficially, clinicians report similar concerns as elsewhere about the huge proportional rise in young girls seeking to transition. Did you know that bias, and not evidence, dominates the WPATH transgender standard of care followed in Scotland? And it is woefully out-of-date considering the fundamental change in patient make up since it was written in 2011.

Read the speech given by Dr David Bell at the Scottish Parliament and consider why, if his report about issues at the Tavistock prompted the Director to resign, was it not enough for the Health Minister, Jeane Freeman, to instigate an enquiry into identical practices at Sandyford? Perhaps the Government will listen to the outcome of a Judicial Review that is being sought by Keira Bell, a detransitioning woman, who wants to protect other troubled young girls from similar treatment.

Are you aware that women with our views are threatened with violence, rape and death, almost as an everyday occurrence? We are told TERF is not a slur, but I challenge you to find any instances of it being used without abuse or threats attached to it. Do you think it’s in any way acceptable for lesbians to be on the receiving end of these menaces for asserting, or even just trying to be proud of, their right to be same-sex attracted? Do you really think there’s such a thing as a lesbian with a penis?

All that hate is from transactivists, and is aimed at women with our views. I challenge you to find anything remotely equivalent from here, from our recorded talks, or indeed anywhere else. This is NOT a case of two sides as bad as each other. And it’s notable that the hate is not aimed at genuinely transphobic, aggressive men. It’s aimed at women. It’s aimed at us.

And JK Rowling. Read the tweets she posted and look at the replies. Read the essay further explaining her thoughts and ask how anyone could possibly think she deserved such atrocious abuse, or how transactivists thought it in any way acceptable to post penis images in retaliation (don’t worry, it’s been edited!) on a child’s thread about Ickabog art.

Did you know women can be, and often are, fired for believing sex is real, that humans cannot change sex, and women and girls are entitled to privacy when undressing or otherwise vulnerable? And yet poll, after poll, after poll, after poll show that this is the majority view, by at least 80%. You may well wonder why then, is the Scottish Government proposing to bring in Hate Crime legislation that would see even JK Rowling imprisoned for up to seven years for expressing views deemed abusive by transactivists, yet affords women no such protection in law, based on their sex.

Innate gender identity is a belief system. There’s no evidence one exists. If our Government cannot even define it, then it should not be presented as fact to our children. It should not over-ride women’s hard fought for rights.

Do you know that the very word ‘woman’ will change definition, if the trans lobby succeed? If we can’t define what a woman is, how can we accurately capture data? How can we record male violence, the pay gap, our representation in government, business, finance, law, media…anywhere? Police Scotland already record incidences on the basis of gender identity, but can’t seem to recall when, or why that happened, and the census looks to be going the same way, despite the importance of recognising sex being shown quite dramatically by COVID-19.

An influential lobby loudly insisting that they won’t be erased (when trans organisations are heavily state funded and train all major businesses, branches of government, school teachers, universities and NHS boards) are actively campaigning to erase the very definition of what a woman is – best archive it, just in case! Have you noticed how easy it is to define a woman when we’re being aborted, subjected to FGM, married off, denied the vote, raped, murdered, paid less, represented less in every single sector of government and industry, expected to perform most of the world’s unpaid labour, and constituting 71% of the world’s modern slaves? The only places that seem unsure on what a woman is are the places feminism was starting to make inroads. It’s almost like there must be some sort of a connection, isn’t it?

We don’t have any fear, resentment or hatred for trans people. We agree there should be protection in law against discrimination and violence. We just don’t agree that our rights need to be railroaded over in the process. We don’t agree that male people should access women’s spaces, or benefit from women’s provision, at will, without our consent. Our name is WOMEN and our rights matter.

Don’t you agree…?

#gender critical #For women Scotland #Transgender

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jazy3 · 3 years

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Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X5

SPOILERS AHEAD!

I’m going to go right ahead and say it. This episode felt like a PSA to me, but it was well done. It was emotional and impactful and the storyline about Bailey’s Mom made me tear up, but at the same time the episode felt very stagnant and I feel like the lives of the other characters didn’t really move forward or go anywhere. It felt like they were all standing still. I liked the conversations between Jackson and Richard and Bailey and Maggie about how COVID has impacted black and brown people more than other races and how unfair that is and how politicians and decision makers need to pay more attention to that.

I loved the conversation between Bailey and Maggie. I liked that they addressed what happened with Maggie’s Mom because that storyline bothered the heck out of me. Maggie treated Meredith and everyone else horribly when all they did was try and help and then she forced her mother to undergo treatments she didn’t want because Maggie couldn’t handle the fact that she was dying and then they just dropped it. I’m glad to see that make a comeback and that Maggie has recognized that what she did and the way she behaved was wrong and is now using that experience to help others.

I loved their comments about guidance counsellors and others assume black people aren’t as bright or as capable as white folks and how insidious that is. It’s not something I’ve experienced myself as a white person, but I’m glad they’re highlighting it. This episode was written by Zoanne Clack who is a black woman and a former E.R. Physician. The previous episode was written by Julie Wong who is an Asian woman and I think it’s great they are utilizing the talent that they have so that people of colour can share their stories and their experiences on a global scale.

By telling these stories through the lives of characters we know and love and can empathize with it allows people who will never have these experiences understand a little bit more. Representation is important and this show has always done a really good job in my opinion of highlighting important topics and social issues in a sensitive and thoughtful manner. These characters are fictional, but their stories are taken from the lives of real people and I think an important step in the process of creating a better fairer world is creating media that reflects people’s realities in order to cultivate empathy so that people who might not otherwise understand or get it have a window into that experience.

Maybe it changes their mind. Maybe it doesn’t. But the point is that it opens people’s minds to the possibility of seeing a side that they didn’t before and that is half the battle when trying to get people to understand someone else’s experience or point of view. I’m going to be seeing my family this holiday season virtually and in small groups from a safe distance. As is the case for many visiting with relatives over the holidays means having to listen to a lot of ignorant opinions, frustrating statements, and in some cases racial slurs and inappropriate remarks.

So I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m going to handle that this year because my tolerance for that crap has gone out the window. All this to say it’s nice to see good people fighting the good fight to get these stories out there to a global audience so that maybe some people will get it and maybe some good will come of it. And even if it doesn’t seeing characters and stories that represent you on screen is powerful and moving and wonderful and we all deserve that. I teared up watching Bailey suffer with the deterioration and death of her Mom.

The end scene where Bailey describes the patients she’s lost to COVID in the voice over while her and Richard sing ‘My Girl’ to give her Mom that moment of peace and a death with dignity got me. It really put a face on the disease. Watching her and her Dad struggle with it was so hard. I loved Bailey’s voice over where she shared info about the COVID patients she’d lost so far and who they were not just their disease. That was well done. Made me tear up.

I loved the talk between Meredith and Bailey at the hospital and on the beach. This episode wasn’t as shocking as the previous ones, but it was still good. I’m glad Meredith is getting better. I will miss the beach, but I’m excited to see her wake up, get better, and hopefully spend some time with Hayes. Which brings me to my chief complaint with this episode which is where the heck was Hayes?!?! This is the second episode he’s been absent from for no discernable reason and no explanation has been given as to where he is.

I did not sign up for this. A big part of the joy I felt when they announced that he was being upped to a main character was the implication that he was going to be given his own storylines and character development outside of Meredith and his relationships with Abigail, Liam, and Austin. But Hayes being absent when Meredith’s not awake robs of him that. Don’t get me wrong. I love Meredith and Hayes together and all I want is for them to be together and live happily ever after.

But, Hayes has such a rich and interesting backstory and there’s so much to explore there. Richard Flood who plays him brings such a wonderful depth to the character and he deserves to have his own story apart from Meredith and I really want to see him interact with the other characters more. We’ve seen him interact significantly with Jo and Bailey, but I’d love to see him interact with Maggie, Amelia, Jackson, and Owen more. His absence this episode reminds me of the episode after the Conference Episode last season where he was suddenly missing for no reason and they didn’t explain where he was.

I’m confused because he was upped to a main character just before this season started so he should be in every episode or almost every episode like the other characters are. I’m starting to get concerned that the actor who plays him has fallen ill or tested positive for COVID-19 or that he’s dealing with some kind of family emergency and so they had to cut him out of the episode last minute. I hope I’m wrong, but I honestly can’t think of another reason the actor would be missing for upwards of 2 to 4 weeks when these episodes were filmed.

I can’t see his absence being a story choice because it doesn’t make any sense and they haven’t addressed it on screen as they usually do when an actor has departed or needs time off and they have time to write that in. He also doesn't appear to be in the promo for next week’s episode which is strange considering it shows another meeting being held by Richard where some of the other department heads can be seen and we get shots of most of the other characters. After the Premiere aired he appeared in the promo for Episode 3 standing outside Meredith’s window and in that episode we saw them have a heart to heart that I thought was really beautiful and lovely.

At this point it’s unclear if Meredith even knows that Hayes is the one that found her and got her help and is distraught over her condition. He’s the head of Peds which is a pretty important department. Where the heck is he? They can gladly write off other characters in the second half of the season to give him more screen time in my opinion. I really hope the actor and his family are okay. I’d also hate for his sudden absence to wreck Meredith’s storyline.

I love their friendship and flirtations and I’d hate to see her wind up alone or with someone that clearly isn’t right for her and that she doesn’t really love because something unexpected happened with the actor. I really really hope he’s in the mid-season finale next week! Jo suddenly declaring that she wants to quit general surgery to become an OBGYN came out of nowhere and makes no sense to me.

She spent years being with and then married to the Head of Pediatric Surgery and was decidedly lukewarm on the idea of having kids or even being near them. So her and Alex split and in the wake of that she randomly decides she wants to be an OBGYN and deliver babies? What the heck? I’m also confused because I feel like Hayes should have been there because it was a Peds case and he wasn’t and if Jo wants to re-specialize it would make sense for her to talk to Carina or Hayes.

Carina’s a main character on Station 19 and is still reoccurring on Grey’s so she can talk to her for an episode or two, but anymore than that and I think that would fall under Hayes perview because he’s a main character. But he’s currently MIA and we don’t know why. I did love Jo’s scenes with Levi though. They’re always hilarious and I think they bounce off of each other really well. I’m glad that Tom improved and apparently isn’t dying.

I like him with Teddy and I hope they get back together at some point. I’m glad they are choosing to be friends again. More than anything I want Teddy to pick a lane here. Owen or Tom. Pick one and go with it. Stop flip flopping all over the place like a fish out of water. Teddy’s a hot mess these days. I liked Amelia’s speech to Teddy. She has feelings about what Teddy did and didn’t do, but as she says she herself has done horrible things, some of them involving Owen, so she’s not in any place to judge, but she also doesn’t want to be friends with Teddy or really talk to her. And that’s fair. I have to say I love Amelia post-tumour. She’s great.

Also what happened to Casey Parker the resident from last season who was transgender and former military? I really liked him! Where did he go? I’d much rather see him that DeLuca or Nico on screen. Based on what I caught of next week’s promo it looks the COVID situation at Grey Sloan is about to get worse. We see Richard addressing staff in the cafeteria saying that they need to prepare for a surge of patients and that their patient load could double. We’re in May in the current Grey’s timeline so that fits.

It’s apparently also a cross over. I don’t want another cross over. I want to know where the hell Hayes is! And it looks like Amelia is back in the OR and the doctors are treating two teenagers who were kidnapped and held captive. Yikes! And we see Meredith smiling at someone on the beach before suddenly waking up. My guess is that it’s Derek and we are finally going to get to see them embrace and then Meredith is going to return to the land of the living. And hopefully interact with Hayes.

Until next time!

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dordmagazine · 3 years

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What The F Are Intrusive Thoughts?

Lesson brought to you by the fact that most of us are having intrusive thoughts right now, no one talks about it, it's considered taboo + scary, and tbh the psychology community does a bad job of normalizing this common evolutionary behavior.

What The F Is an Intrusive Thought?

Imagine this, you're going about your day, and suddenly you’re hit with a thought that’s bizarre, shocking, uncomfortable, triggering, or overall anxious. No reason for it, it just pops up.

Could be the voice in your head saying the worst thing you can imagine is happening

Could be a gut feeling followed by intense anxiety and thought spirals

Could be thoughts of doing something shocking and out of character for you (usually sexual, violent, or suicidal)

Could be in terms of a relationship (thinking you’re not good enough, they’re not good enough, suddenly fearful of commitment despite having intense feelings for that person)

Intrusive thoughts are actually perfectly normal. Literally everyone has them, not just those with mental illnesses. Intrusive thoughts don't necessarily mean you have a mental condition you need treatment for. Intrusive thoughts are not messages, red flags, signals or warnings, despite how they feel. Even for my intuitive people, your intrusive thought doesn’t mean the situation is actually going on. It's just a thought with zero meaning behind it.

Intrusive thoughts feel so threatening because anxious thinking takes over, and the thought appears to have some intense power that it actually doesn't have.

Common intrusive thoughts we don't call "intrusive thoughts", but they really are:

Thinking our partner doesn't want us

Thinking our partner will leave or is cheating

Fearing everyone at the office hates us

Convincing ourselves we'll fail

Thinking we'll go broke

Being afraid that fictional things will happen (ex being fearful that you’ll live the plot of a book you just read)

For some reason we don't associate this type of anxious thinking with intrusive thoughts, but they're classic intrusive thoughts. Other thoughts include thinking about having sex with someone you'd never sleep with, getting in fights, getting raped or abused.

It’s important to note, if you are having intrusive thoughts of getting raped or abused, or doing the actions, that does not mean you want to rape or abuse or get raped and abused. For people who conduct these behaviors, these are not intrusive thoughts. They don’t think much about them and move on. These thoughts cause great stress for you because they go against your values and you’d never do them.

For Example:

People who have intrusive thoughts about cheating, usually value commitment, relationships, and family.

People who have intrusive thoughts about hurting an animal, love animals and would never harm one intentionally.

People who have intrusive thoughts about their religion, are usually extremely faithful and take their faith seriously.

Intrusive thoughts are intrusive because they go against your values. You are not subconsciously represented by your intrusive thoughts.

The Science

Here’s the facts, we get intrusive thoughts for a few reasons.

First one, our brains get bored and try to entertain themselves. I wish I was kidding. We’re taught the brain is a complex thing, but it’s really a toddler. In fact the part of the brain associated with intrusive thoughts, the Amygdala, is the youngest part of the brain. It’s kinda still learning how to brain.

When we get bored or over stimulated, the Amygdala comes up with situations, so the body can send up doses of chemicals and hormones. Our brain likes to imagine things, it’s just sometimes daydreams turn into nightmares.

Most common reason our brain has Intrusive thoughts, is because it’s evolved to keep us safe. So it constantly scans the environment for danger, running through all the possible cases. While doing this, it generates thoughts that you are unaware of. When it hits one that causes you fear, it becomes a conscious thought.

When fear hits the body, within seconds fight or flight turns on and the Amygdala is turned screaming. It wants you to come up with a plan to stay safe if the event ever happened.

Once you do, the screaming stops. If you ignore it, sometimes the screaming gets louder. We see this a lot with patients who have OCD, the thoughts get louder or keep coming back harder when we try to ignore them.

In a way our Amygdala is saying “Can’t you see we’re in danger?”

The problem is there is rarely ever any actual danger. The Amygdala is the brains faulty security system. It’s triggered by wind the next County over.

The brain does this so that you are alerted to the potential threat and can then problem-solve your way out of it. Our brain honestly thinks it's helping us. But as I mention everytime I talk about anxiety, we're not outrunning bears anymore. We don’t need overly sensitive Amygdalas.

That’s why OCD treatment uses exposure therapy designed to reprogram how we perceive thoughts in the mind. Treatment involves pushing yourself to do what scares you and ignoring the need to control everything. Overtime the brain adjusts to your responses and you have less obsessive intrusive thoughts.

Follow Your Gut

I’m a natural intuitive. So for me to follow my intuition I had to make peace with my intrusive thoughts.

Remember, our brain doesn't know the difference between real threats or imaginary ones. The brain thinks "I thought of it, it's real". Think of it like a toddler holding an imaginary tea party. We know the cup is empty, but the kid honestly thinks imagination made tea.

I see a lot with people who are practicing their intuition or learning to trust their gut fall into the trap of feeding their intuitive thoughts. Out of nowhere they get an intrusive thought that their blessing, prayers, or manifestation isn't coming. And they freak out because they think it's divine guidance.

My dears, your intrusive thought isn't divine guidance. It's your bodies glitchy security system. Your gut, the universe, or god, didn't telling you that your person will never love you, that the job isn't coming, or that you'd never get rich or have a family.

The thing with intrusive thoughts is they often keep coming up, which tricks us into thinking that it actually means something or it's divine guidance. But the reason these thoughts come us is because we never told our brains it's not actually a danger or threat.

How To Make Them Stop

First things first, if you have intrusive thoughts find a Therapist who focuses primarily on OCD. Many Therapists claim to have worked with OCD patients but lack the education or experience to support your healing journey.

The thing with traditional talk therapy is it can usually make OCD and Anxiety worse. If you are seeking out professional help, which I always recommend, find a Therapist who is trained in Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP). If you’re on the edge of deciding to see a therapist, there are incredible patient guided workbooks designed to help stop intrusive thoughts.

Some of our favorites are:

The ACT Workbook for OCD: Mindfulness, Acceptance, and Exposure Skills to Live Well with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Marisa T. Mazza PsyD

Brain Based Therapy for OCD: A Workbook for Clinicians and Clients by John B. Arden

Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts by Sally M. Winston PsyD and Martin N. Seif PhD

Brain Lock, Twentieth Anniversary Edition: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior by Jeffrey M. Schwartz

How To Be There For Someone With Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts can effect our relationships in every way. It’s hard to see your loved one go through suffering you can’t understand.

I always explain intrusive thoughts like this:

An intrusive thought is like we watched a documentary on Bigfoot. Before it, I knew Bigfoot wasn’t real and the documentary only assured me that Bigfoot is made up. But every night I’ll be terrified that Bigfoot is outside of my window and will hurt me when I’m sleeping. So I lay awake and plan or sit in fear. Eventually, the fear will bleed into my daytime life and I’ll become scared that Bigfoot is behind me or will hurt my loved ones. And in the documentary it said people used to keep garlic in their pocket to ward off Bigfoot. So I start carrying around garlic and hiding it in my loved ones belongings. This entire time I know Bigfoot isn’t real. I know my behavior is irrational. But my body is still scared. Even if everything inside of me says Bigfoot isn’t real and even if it’s proven by Scientists. I’m still afraid.

If the person you love struggles with intrusive thoughts it helps to view everything from their perspective. You don’t need to feed into the compulsions, in fact you usually shouldn’t.

Someone suffering with Intrusive thoughts or OCD needs the people around them to be compassionate, understanding, and kind. When someone exhibits an obsessive behavior tied to intrusive thoughts ask them, “Is that an intrusive thought?” usually that’s enough to stop them the thought, even temporarily.

Another thing you can do is ask the sufferer to explain to you what they’re feeling and why they think that way. And don’t judge them for it. Simply nod and smile. People who have intrusive thoughts or OCD need to feel like they aren’t broken because of the way their brain is programed.

Remember, all their brain is doing is trying to stay safe. Treatment involves reframing thoughts and reprograming their brain. The goal isn’t to stop our Amygdala from being aware, it’s to make it less sensitive and less afraid.

Our brain needs to alert us of a flood, it doesn’t need to alert us of 5mph wind.

The important thing to remember with intrusive thoughts is to think of your brain like a toddler. It's pointing everything it thinks and sees out, making sure you see it too. All it wants you to do is say, "yes, I know. But that's not important right now." or "I think you're not seeing it correctly, it's actually this."

Having these thoughts are normal and although distressing they say nothing about your character.

Follow us as we work to end the stigma around mental illness and keep an eye out for our full magazine set to release early January 2021.

Disclaimer: No one at DORD is a medical professional, meaning we provide education from our first hand experience (and our Editor In Chief’s Psychology Degree). If your intrusive thoughts cause you great discomfort, contact a license professional. If you think you're going to hurt yourself or someone else, contact a professional. If you'd like to know how to get in touch with a professional, shoot us a DM and we’ll gladly help connect you with the appropriate resources.

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seeds-and-sins · 4 years

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F**kin’ Diabolical (Chapter 6)

Master List

Pairing: Homelander / Original Female Character, Billy Butcher / Original Female Character

Rating: M (Strong language, sexual themes)

Decription: Carly Danvers is a reporter/radio show host/annoying little piece of- For reasons unknown to Vought, she decided to start a one man investigation on Vought’s operation. Her efforts had been quite successful so far, so much so that Stillwell would have done anything to see the young girl dead. Turns out Stillwell didn’t have to do anything at all, while one piece of evidence against Vought causes Danvers to fly too close to the sun. And Homelander flies after her.

Chapter Summary; Homelander agrees to take Carly to her apartment, then someone knocks at her door.

The flight to her apartment complex was absolute hell, just like the rest of her day had been so far. If Homelander hadn't been there to catch her every time she came plummeting down to earth, she would have killed a lot of people, she was sure of it. Not to mention, the feeling of being 20,000 feet, or higher, in the sky was not easy to get used to. She hated roller coasters and airplanes and zip lining, and just about everything that had to do with heights, so when Homelander urged her to go higher she felt like her heart stopped. It was beautiful, a fantastic view of the city. However, she was certainly not used to flying in the sky, or being bulletproof, or having lasers shoot out of her eyes, so she couldn’t really enjoy that view. Homelander had to keep reminding her that if she really did fall, "You won't feel a thing", which only made reality progressively worse for her.

When they finally arrived she had ended up clutching to him like he was her last breath, begging him to sink the landing so she wouldn't blow clear through several stories in her descent. She knew how amusing this was for him, she could see it in his eyes every time she would looked to him for help. He was the worst person she could seek guidance from, but in these desperate times, he was the only person she could seek guidance from. He had been manhandling her, dragging her around, criticizing her for not being able to catch on so quick. This must had been some sort of dream for him.

Then, of course, there was the name: Lady Liberty. It was catchy and classy, but who the fuck would come up with a name on the fly like that?! No. He had been ready, waiting, ever so patient, and he said it like she was already a supe, like the name was burned into her flesh at birth. She imagined herself flying beside him, wearing his colors, flashing his abilities, what a sickening thought to think that would get him off? She used to laud the man, then she found out he was just some lab experiment, like all the other supers, and now she was too. What even was this? What was she doing? Where was she? Oh yeah, she was in her apartment. She didn’t even realize because it didn't feel the same, she didn't feel like herself.

When she entered, Homelander in tow, she went straight for the alcohol. She scurried around the bar counter, grabbed a scotch glass and poured some whiskey for herself. Homelander watched silently as she downed the whole glass in one gulp, then she tipped her head forward, wincing her lips and poured another. He then continued to stalk around, probing the entire apartment, although she knew he had seen it before. Despite it being speculation, she figured he had stalked her, or watched her in the past. The fact that he knew where she lived and that he knew where her clothes were was suspicious enough. With everything going on, she didn't really have much time to sort out her feelings on the matter. She downed another full glass, gulp after gulp. The burn of the whiskey melted into her, and she fucking needed it.

"That won't work. Trust me." She caught her breath, hand clutching as gently at the bottle of whiskey as she could.

"What won't?"

"You can't get-"

"Don't say it, Homelander. Don't you fucking say it." He shrugged, then continued to walk around the perimeter of her apartment, a full on inspection. "Can you not fucking act like you haven't seen this place before?" She left the whiskey and empty glass, turned off now by the fact that she wouldn't feel its effects no matter how hard she tried.

"I did," He paused in stride, eyes focused out the window spanning the wall, where a balcony hung. "To retrieve your clothes, remember?"

"Oh, don't play innocent, it doesn't suit you." Homelander snorted, almost nervously, then faced her again with a smile.

"Carly, I don't have any idea what you are talking about." Her bare and dirty feet padded against the wood as she started towards the hall that lead to her bedroom.

"Sure you don't." She remarked sarcastically, zooming past him.

"Where are you going?"

"To take a shower. Go watch TV, or something." Carly did have a moment over by the bar, where she had to reel herself back into reality, yet again. Homelander was in her home and she had superpowers, it doesn't get more fucked than that. Even more so, Homelander had been spying on her for who knows how long, and he was in her living room, and she had superpowers. She needed a shower so bad. She needed to just wash all of this shit away, physically and emotionally. Homelander watched her disappear down the hall, she could feel his eyes piercing through her.

She entered her room, closing the door behind her, as if that would stop the great Homelander. She rested her head back against the door, careful not to put all of her weight on it in fear of it breaking behind her. She closed her eyes, tried to settle in to this feeling that had been coursing through her since she woke up. She grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, tossing it into the hamper that stood not so far off by the door, leading into the bathroom. She then discarded the sweatpants, leaving her in nothing but her underwear. She turned to face the long side oval mirror on her nightstand, eyes softening at her damaged state. She looked like Carly, but she didn't feel like Carly.

She twisted her waist, above her hip sat a clear scar that trailed from around the curve of her side, up towards her rib cage, where it stopped. It was still there, so she must still be Carly. She watched her hand, mesmerized as it rose up to her cheek, fingers peddling against the flesh. The same flesh that can withstand anything that came its way, but it still felt soft, like Carly. The fingers slid up and over through her hair, where her lips parted and she could feel the oily strands between her fingers. She felt the tears blossom in her eyes, where oddly enough she still feel the heat in them from the heat vision. How can someone be a human one day, ever so vulnerable, then be an indestructible hero the next? She placed her hands on her waist now, taut beneath her fingers and she stared at her reflection again. She couldn't even look, the pose didn't make her feel any better or greater. It made her feel like a stranger.

In the reflection she saw her acoustic guitar, the solid black giving her some solace in these trying times. She stepped over to it, almost subconsciously, and picked up the neck. She settled herself down onto the edge of the bed, propping the guitar on her lap. Perhaps a somber tune would ease her mind, but before strumming at the strings her attention locked on something else. She caught sight of the wall beside her bed, it couldn't have gone unnoticed, it was a masterpiece of her own design. The sight of a thousand sticky notes and strung up pictures that she had painted, sketches that she had drawn. She mindlessly placed her guitar down beside her on the bed and stood, feet taking her to a single sketch that she had made so long ago. It was of Homelander.

At the time she criticized herself; the nose was too crooked, or the eyes just weren't all too great, but no, the sketch was the perfect image of him. She remembered the pencil taking over her that day, and she didn't really know what drove her to sit down and crank out his image. Of all the things she had drawn, Homelander was certainly the most elaborated sketch. The way she traced his jawline, the crisps of his hair, the subtle tiredness in his eyes, did he-they even feel exhaustion? She didn't feel exhausted right now, was that another post-compound quality?

She closed her eyes, and honed into the silence, giving herself a moment to enjoy this peace while it lasted. Then something happened all too soon, she found herself unprepared for it. She could hear voices, the honking of cars, the breathing, the heartbeats, the wind, it was like in the hospital that morning. Her eyes fluttered open, and her expression turned fierce. She couldn't even enjoy silence, not without hearing everybody else. She huffed out her agitation, then stormed towards the small bathroom, where maybe the water could do her some good.

It was a thin bathroom, and very cluttered, cluttered with an array of hair products, makeup, perfumes, and lotions. There was no bath tub, much to her distaste when she originally got the apartment. The thin brick that separated the floor and the shower tile was all that kept water from leaking everywhere. The curtain was an off blue, that matched the navy bath mat she had put down. She finally removed her underwear, tossing it into the hamper with her other clothes. She didn't waste any time, finding herself under the rusty shower faucet and turning the lever over. She made the water as hot as possible, knowing that too hot was no problem for her now, and also that she needed that steam and that warm embrace.

She sat under the water, feeling it trickle down over her, her blonde strands soaking and sticking to her skin. She enjoyed the stream as it caressed her back massaged her, allowed herself to be engulfed in its blissful touch. She moaned out her approval and settled her forearms against the wall above her, resting her forehead on them. This felt nice, after a second of relaxing under the water she was already feeling calm. She controlled her breathing, trying to find that meditative state that would allow her to just... Not think. Even when there was so much to think about, so much coursing through her mind. And Allen? She had tried not to think about him, about how he died. She wished he hadn't, she wished none of this would have happened, she should have listened to his warnings. What soared through her mind regarding last night made her feel disgusted in herself. She had done some horrific things and she was sure the things she couldn't remember were probably worse.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Where was that coming from?! What was that?!

Knock! Kno-

THE DOOR!

Carly felt her breath catch, she jumped out of the shower, part of the tile cracking under her as she went. She snatched her bathrobe of the hanger on the door, the door ripped off its hinges from the force.

“Fuck me.” She ground out, but kept moving anyways. Her toes left puddles of water after her as she threw on the silk white fabric. She jogged into the living room, Homelander was calmly sitting on the couch, arm splayed out over its rest, the news on full blast.

"Who the fuck is this guy?" Homelander asked plainly and she ignored him as she tied her robe and answered the door, cracking it and peaking her head out.

"Billy?" She breathed out, fighting the urge to swing the door open and hug him. His eyes furrowed in confusion at the sight of her, wet hair, flushed cheeks, a bath robe?

"Carly, what the bloody fuck?! I thought you were in the hospital?" She shot her eyes over her shoulder at Homelander, who was glaring at her, unsure of her next move, but she went anyways. She exited her apartment, closing the door behind her. Billy staring at her with this crazed, flustered look in his eyes. She was fine, intact, critical condition, his ass?!

"Billy, this is a bad time." She stated, and his expression turned more into concern. He stepped closer and she stepped back, she was so afraid of touching him. One wrong move and she could kill him, with no control over her powers, this was a bad idea. Billy's expression hardened and he flung his hands up in the air.

"Carls, are you okay?! What happened?!" She noticed the flowers, and a part of her wanted to just hug him, hug him so bad. She needed a good hug, from someone, anyone. Billy would probably give the best hugs. He was such a burly guy and during their talks in the elevator she could smell the scent of him: a mix between cigarettes and cheap cologne.

"Are those for me?" She crooned, he had forgotten about the flowers, still shocked that she was even standing before him. He held the flowers up with a snort, perhaps to lighten his own frustration over the situation.

"Yeah, I went to the hospital to go find ya' and you were fuckin' gone..." She opened her mouth to respond, but he kept going, gesturing to her front door. "Then I come 'ere, and hear your TV on, thought some bloody shitfaced rocker had taken up your apartment."

"Oh, yeah..." She was at a loss for words, how do you explain to someone that you are dangerous? That you are a supe now? Especially after making a show against superheroes.

"And then, I heard that Homelander came to see ya'?!" He said, his tone filled with disbelief. "I go to your room and it was absolutely trashed! I thought you were dead!"

"Billy, I-"

"What? It's alright, you can tell me. I am here for ya'." His lips quirked up slightly, despite his frustration, she looked under extreme distress. She needed someone to comfort her, not berate her. He'd never seen her so torn apart, and it really did hurt him to see her like this. This was far worse than going to visit a burn victim, much like he had originally expected, she was far worse than that.

"Billy..." Her voice shaky, and her lip wobbled as if she was about to cry. He stepped close again, she didn't move, he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Carly, I have never seen you like this before. You have to talk to me?"

"It's okay, I-I am fine." She held her hand out for the flowers, he hesitantly handed them to her, then gave her some distance. Still reeling in confusion and concern, he watched her usher herself through the door.

"Hey?" He said, she paused in the doorway, unable to meet his stare. "I just want ya' to know, I am..." He cleared his throat. "Always here for ya, alright? Us ugly faces got to stick together." She smiled sadly and nodded her head.

"I will remember that. Thank you...” She gulped, “For everything." He gave her a curt nod as she disappeared behind the door. She held the flowers in her hand, staring at the wood blankly. She exhaled a trembling breath, and then slowly turned to Homelander. He was standing, hard glare on his face, arms crossed, about to reprimand her.

“Now what the fuc-” She dropped the flowers and rushed towards him, her arms snaking around his sides and his hands flew up in surprise. He could feel all of her against, the thin material of the bath robe shielded nothing as her form sculpted so perfectly with his own. He had to admit. He had been watching her earlier, every step, every movement, threw him in a daze. She was perfect. He knew she would be. He could feel her body’s closeness start to have an effect on him and he was worried she would notice. "C-Carly..." He protested in a hushed whispered, she pressed her body into him even further, hugging him as hard as she could. He would have gasped if it hadn’t been for him biting his lip and clutching his gloves so firmly. His own arms soon wrapped around her, returning the embrace, although awkwardly.

She just needed a hug, and Homelander was the only person she could give one too.

#homelander x ofc #billy butcher x ofc #homelander #billy butcher #vought #the seven #the boys #madelyn stillwell

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bakubabes-tatakae · 4 years

Text

The Regalia and the God (Part Two)

Author’s Note: If anyone wants to be added to the taglist let me know ! I’m happy to do it for anyone.

(Yato X Reader)

Summary: The delivery god Yato has never been that popular with the public, but when it comes to fighting phantoms he’s one of the ones you want by your side. Every god needs a trusty Regalia by his side… that’s where Y/N and Yukine come in.

AO3 Link

Part One

Part Two:

Word Count: 2,596

When Yato had said we had a job searching for Milord I had thought we would be searching for a person… but no, Milord was a cat, and Yato was just as excited as he could be to search for him. We walked around the bustling city, cars flying down the roads, people littering the sidewalk, and for most of the people in the city it was like we weren’t even there. We blended in with them. “Milord!” Yato cupped his mouth with his hands to make it just a little louder. “Where are you Milord! Come to Yato.”

I walked slowly behind him, scanning the areas I knew that he was missing. Yato might be an impressive fighter when it came to phantoms, but he wasn’t the best at seeing the pictures, a big reason that he has me. “Yato, call me. I can help you search better.”

Yato hated to call me unless we were in a fight, but he knew that I was right. “If I call you tho you won’t be here walking with me, and when I talk to you I’ll look like a lunatic.”

“Do you really think anyone is paying attention to you Yato?” I motioned around me. “Look at everyone, they’re too busy in their own worlds. I could probably tell them all I was going to take off my shirt and not a single person would even move.”

His vision turned to a glare. “If anyone looked I’d have to step in, you know?”

I shook my head slowly, closing my eyes. Tough Yato was my favorite Yato, but he always pulled him out at the worst times. “Just call to me Yato.”

“Fine,” He put his hand out. “Come, Norikki.”

I felt my energy change as my name was called and I entered my domain. The world around my body was different from the world that was around Yato. In the spirit world as a Regalia I had my own space, a space that no one was in other than me. I scanned the crowd and Yato continued to walk. We walked past a group of girls on the sidewalk and I could feel one of their attention’s turn to us. Usually humans didn’t even notice Yato, I wonder why this one had?

Yato noticed it too, he turned slowly and when she was passed he looked straight ahead again. “Did you see this Y/n?”

I hesitated. “Yea, I did.” I could feel my jealousy creeping up, I knew that I had no reason for it, but it was always there. I scanned around again when I noticed a small furball in the middle of the street… Milord. “Yato, to your left, slowly. If you move to fast you’ll spook him.”

Yato turned and his mouth opened wide, gasping. “Milord, there you are.” The cat started to run off and before I could interject Yato was hopping over the gate in front of us. “Hey, wait, come back.”

He took off after the cat and I tried to get him to stop. “Yato, there’s a bus coming, stop run-” As I tried to finish my words I could feel Yato being thrown to the otherside of the road, the force taking the wind out of him and stopping my words.

A girl with long brown hair stood before us.Yato slowly sat up and looked toward her. “Running into the street like that!” She was clearly angry. “What kind of an idiot are you?”

In my Regalia form the only person that could hear me was Yato, something I had forgotten. “You jumped into the street too, what’s that make you?” I looked back toward the street and was shocked to see the same girl sitting before us apart from her body. Her body still laid on the street in front of the bus, her friends from earlier surrounding her. “Yato, she’s a spirit.”

“You realize you could have been killed!” She was huffing, trying desperately to get her breath.

Yato looked behind him and motioned his head toward the bus and her body. “Aren’t you missing something?”

The girls stared at her body and before we would try to explain anything to her she was screaming.

* * * * * *

Yato sat on the stone wall of the garden we were in. I slowly sat down next to him and put my hand over his. “What are you thinking about Yatty?”

“That girl… First she could see me, and then she risks her life to save me?” The bewilderment in his eyes was more prevalent than I had seen it in a long time. “I just don’t get it.”

I hated to say it because it was not something that I was too fond of doing… but I knew it would probably make Yato feel better. “What if we went to the hospital to see her?” I smiled at him, trying to hide my jealousy. I hated how bad I got with that stuff. “We can get in and get out without them even noticing.”

He smiled at me. “You alway think of the best ideas.” He put his hand on my cheek and placed a small kiss on my lips, running his hand down my cheek. “Now let’s go, before it gets too late.”

* * * * * *

When we reached the room of the girl who had risked her life to save Yato she was still asleep. Yato sat on top of one of the couches in the room, patiently waiting, while I sat in front of him on the cushion, not waiting quite so patiently. Just as I was about to say something to him about leaving and coming back tomorrow her eyes opened, looking around the room and finding Yato and I waiting for her.

She stared in disbelief at the two of us sitting in her room, and she looked like she was listening for something. Yato knew that look. “You can hear the voices of the far shore?” She screamed and ran to the corner of her room, staring at us in fear. “Doesn’t look like you got hurt too badly, huh?” She calmed a little as she recognized Yato’s face. “Thanks for that by the way.”

I stood from the couch and crossed my arms. “Of course… he didn’t need help avoiding that bus…”

Yato saw me looking for a catfight and interjected. “But, no human has ever tried to save me before.”

The girl walked over to the couches and slowly sat, watching every move we made. “I don’t get it, who are you?”

Yato smiled at her. “That’s easy. I’m a God.” The girl took a cellphone out and started making a phone call, telling the person on the other line that there were crazy intruders in her room. “Wait! Hang up the phone. I’m not crazy. I really am one of the Gods, okay?” When he saw her relaxing a little he pointed to himself. “I am the God Yato, and this is my Regalia, Y/n.”

She looked angry again. “A God called Yato? What are you playing at? I’ve never heard of that God. And what’s a Regalia?”

“That’s understandable, I’m still what you’d call an up and comer, but just wait, before much longer the whole world with know my name!” Yato stood and threw his hands out at his sides. “I’ll be mega famous, the go to God, the God that everybody prays too! I’ll be the highest God in the land!” I laughed at him and smiled. Seeing him feel good about himself was intoxicating. “Me! The God Yato!” He started to laugh to himself.

I nudged his arm and motioned to the door. “Yato, I can hear them.”

Yato looked from the young girl to me. “It’s gonna be a stormy night, this place is already crawling with them, and I’m essentially Regalia-less so I can’t stick around.” He grabbed a basket off the table and started to eat the contents. “By the way, what’s your name?”

She didn’t know how to react. “It’s Hiyori. Hiyori Iki.”

“Hiyori Iki, huh? I came to make sure you were okay and you seem just fine.” He hopped off the back of the couch. “So, we’re even now.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the window. “See ya.” He opened the window and we both hopped out.

* * * * * *

The next day flew by as we continued the search for Milord. Before we knew it darkness had hit. I looked at Yato. “We need to get going Yato, the phantoms will be out soon and you know that I can’t protect you. I’m a guidance Regalia, not for fighting.”

“Just give it a little longer, I promise we’ll go in before anything crazy can happen.” He had a stick with a string tied to it. On the end of the string he had placed some pieces of wood. “Come on out now kitty! Milord!” He ignored my pleas and continued to walk.

I had a bad feeling, but Yato was my master, I couldn’t disobey him. The wind gusted around us, it was getting cold. Suddenly I heard a cat crying, I sprinted in the direction it was coming from, Yato on my heels. We turned the corner and saw him, he hissed when we came into view.

“Milord! Just stay there, hang on.” Yato placed the stick beside him. “There’s no need to run.” As Yato started to slowly inch forward the cat came running to him, jumping straight into his arms. “What’s the matter boy?”

I had found what was the matter. A phantom started to manifest in front of us. “Yato, we need to run. NOW.”

He looked toward the phantom. “Come Norikki.” My form changed and Yato snatched the silver ring out of the air, placing it on his finger to secure it. “Guide me, where’s the best way out.”

Before I could tell him which way to go I sensed an attack. “Yato, jump, get out of there.”

As he jumped an attack hit where he had just been standing. He landed a couple feet away and the phantom's eyes were all around us. Were they coming from one phantom or twenty? “They’re just small one, but there are too many of them, Norikki.”

More attacks sent a tingle down my spine. “Run Yato, they’re attacking again.”

Yato listened and ran, tucking the cat into his tracksuit. “Numbers aren’t on my side here!” He ran forward and I scanned the area. There was a field coming up and before I could tell him where to go he hopped the fence, coming face to face with a phantom.

A giant frog stood before us, it lifted its head into the air and started screaming. Yato dodged an attack from it as it sent one of its hands down toward him. I saw an opening. “Yato, hit it from underneath.”

He landed a hit on the underside of it’s chin, sending it flying backwards. “A lot of good that did.” The frog got back up and stared at Yato as he went running for it. “Hanki, come.”

“Yato, what are you doing?” I was baffled. “We don’t have Tomone anymore, she left, remember?”

“Oh crap, I forgot.” As Yato went to turn, a hand took his and set him running the other way. Hiyori Iki was dragging us along. “This chick again?”

She was screaming as she turned to it. “What is that thing?”

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, but the tongue from the frog's mouth was about to hit them both. “Yato, break left, tongue coming at you.”

Yato dodged it multiple times and before we could stop her Hiyori was running toward the giant frog. “You idiot! Don’t run at it!”

The frog grabbed her leg and she started screaming. In a panic Hiyori threw her leg toward the frog, screaming something as she landed a kick to the side of it’s head. The force threw the frog across the field. Yato stood with his mouth gaping open, me doing the same from inside the spirit world. She landed back on the ground. “Woah, it worked!”

The frog was getting ready to get back up and pounce. “Yato, grab her, get into the air.”

Yato grabbed her arm and dodged the frog’s pounce just as it was about to hit her. He carried her bridal style and landed on the frog’s head, giving him just enough of a bounce to get away, using the telephone polls and building to take us to another area.

As we landed in an area that we were sure the frog wouldn’t follow he called me back. “Revert Norikki.” We sat for a minute, making sure the coast was clear. “I think we lost it.”

The girl stood up from the wall and walked toward Yato. I wrapped an arm around his waist, him doing the same to my shoulder. It wasn’t very often that I was around another female, other than Tomone, and I had nothing to worry about with her. “I’m glad I caught up to you Yato. I’ve got a lot of questions to ask you know. You just suddenly ran off on me. No dodging my questions this time. I want some straight answers.”

“Sorry,” He pointed to the pink tail that was coming from the girl. “But your soul, it slipped out.” She looked at her tail and screamed. He pointed back toward the fence. “If you want your body,” Her body was laying over the fence. “It’s over there.”

She was still screaming. ‘How’s that possible? What happened?” She grasped her tail. “Does that mean that I’m dead?”

Yato grabbed her body from off the fence, leaving me to deal with her. “Not exactly, it’s like your body is just taking a nap.”

As Yato laid her body back on the ground her spirit self passed out, landing back into her real body. She stayed asleep as she laid on the sidewalk. The cat popped it’s head out of Yato’s tracksuit. He scratched the top of it’s head. “Look what you did. I thought only black cats were supposed to be bad luck.”

“We have to finish our job Yato.” I reached over and scratched it’s head myself.

He smiled. “Let’s get you home little buddy.”

“What about Hiyori?” I looked down. “We can’t just leave her here.”

“What else are we supposed to do with her?” He was puzzled. “We don’t even know where she lives.”

I sighed. As much as I wasn’t fond of the girl, I didn’t want to leave her here unattended. There were some real creeps in the world.

“You take the cat, I’ll take her.” He handed me Milord and grabbed Hiyori, setting her on his back.

* * * * * *

Yato opened the gate to the house that Milord had belonged to, letting the small cat run up to the door. I walked with the furball, hitting the doorbell and running back out before anyone could see me on the porch. We left a second later, headed to find someplace where we could bring Hiyori. As we walked we both heard a voice. “You’re the best ever Yato. I knew you wouldn’t let me down.” Praise for the God Yato could be heard by himself and his Regalia when humans use his name. I looked over at him to see him smiling like an idiot. Making a difference in the world was one of the only things that Yato wanted to do… and tonight, he had done it.

Taglist 💕 @izzythefanfreak

Updated: 5/13/2020

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phoukanamedpookie · 4 years

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The meaning of hallucinating Ursa

Azula’s hallucination of Ursa is often used as evidence of her psychosis, but the content of that hallucination and what it reveals about her are rarely explored in depth. That’s unfortunate because it’s so key to understanding who she really is versus who she pretends to be.

Let’s set the scene. It’s the day of Azula’s coronation. She’s by herself in her private quarters. She’s dismissed everybody--guards, servants, Dai Li agents, even Lo and Li--because none of them can be trusted. Now, for the first time in the series, Azula is completely alone.

The first thing she does is hack off some of her hair, as if her own body has betrayed her. As she smiles triumphantly at this minor exercise of control, she hears a voice, and the voice is her mother’s.

“What a shame. You always had such beautiful hair.”

Of all people, why does Azula imagine her mother being there?

If, at her core, Azula was all about her own self-aggrandizement, there are tons of other people she could’ve imagine in that moment, tons of people she could hallucinate so she could rub their faces in her triumph.

But on her big day, the person she sees, the presence she craves, is her mother.

“I didn’t want to miss my own daughter’s coronation.”

Unlike the Ursa in the flashbacks, the Ursa in Azula’s mind doesn’t scold or wonder what’s wrong with her. She praises Azula for a trait she values about herself (her hair), expresses pride in Azula’s accomplishment.

As much as Azula tries to reject her need for her mother, (”Don’t pretend to act proud.”), she wants to make her mother proud more than anything.

“I think you’re confused. All your life, you’ve used fear to control people, like your friends Mai and Ty Lee.”

Now we’re starting to dig into what Azula's really like beneath that put-together exterior she projects to the world. That Azula knows exactly what she wants and exactly how to get it. That Azula gets shit done, perfectly, without a hair out of place.

But what does the voice in her head that sounds like her mom reveal about her? She’s confused.

Remember: Azula is convinced that her own mother, the one person who should love her unconditionally, views her as a monster, something utterly repulsive and unlovable. There is some deep, deep, deep self-loathing going on there.

That is the source of Azula’s choice to use fear to control others. But it stops working. Judging by how starved Azula is for affection and companionship, I’d argue that it never worked. It just put a Band-Aid on a bullet wound.

But fear was all she had. Now what does she do?

“I love you, Azula. I do.”

This is the part she can’t handle. This is the part that’s too much.

Thus far, what has this imaginary Ursa done? She’s complimented Azula, expressed pride in her accomplishment, been gentle and patient with her, and offered wisdom and guidance. Basic mom stuff.

But what makes Azula fall apart? When the Ursa in her head gives her unconditional love.

And there you have it. At her core, Azula is desperate for unconditional love, but she sees herself as inherently unworthy of it, so she rejects even the possibility of it being extended to her. It leads to a tragic, repeating cycle of self-loathing and denial of a need for human connection: “I’m a monster. No one can love me. Then let me be feared. See, they don’t love me. I’m a monster.”

Where does Azula go from here?

I know people like Aaron Ehasz’s outline of a continued character arc for Azula, but I’m lukewarm about it at best. Azula has already been defeated and humiliated. She’s already had her world shattered. To inflict more pain and suffering on her would feel sadistic. Yes, she should face and overcome obstacles, but I’m not interested in seeing her getting kicked while she’s down.

I’m also lukewarm about Azula’s recovery and triumph being all about Zuko. As much as I’d like to see him act like more of a brother to her, Azula deserves to be her own character, and not just an extension of his.

Personally, I think Ursa should play a much bigger role in Azula’s turnaround than Zuko. First, Ursa looms much larger than Zuko in her psyche. Second, for all that AtLA does right, the show has a real Dead/Missing Mom problem, and bringing Ursa back into the picture would do a lot to rectify that.

#azula #ursa #atla meta

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tarotinapinch · 4 years

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If you are feeling stuck at the current moment... *timeless*

The following are some short channeled messages for the signs if you are feeling like you are stagnant and a bit stuck in a rut. Make sure to check your sun, moon, and rising for a complete and rounded message. Peace and blessings to all of you lovelies <3

Cancer: Redefine your boundaries. Others may have crossed the lines that you have laid down and in doing so have skewed your view of where you should be and what you should be doing. Do not let others tell you what is right or wrong. Decide these things for yourself and rebuild your boundaries with even stronger convictions. Once you have purged the negative energies from your safe space you will be able to see the path forward with much more clarity.

Leo: Sharing wisdom to those around you who may need guidance could help guide you in return. By sharing your own experiences and what you know you could trigger a past lesson within yourself that may mirror your current stagnation in a way. That same wisdom and advice that you share to those around you could be the same wisdom and advice that you need right now.

Virgo: You are not as stuck as you seem to think you are. Deep down you know your path forward, but you also know that it requires taking a risk. You are not normally one to jump into things and trust blindly, so knowing the next step does not have any solid ground that is immediately visible is very scary to you causing you to pace in place trying to find another, more logical route. But you know deep down that your next step is taking that risk that your intuition is pointing to. If anything, trust yourself on this.

Libra: You are a very powerful being. You tend to, more often than not, lend this power to others instead of using it for yourself and when you do this too much and deplete your energies, you end up feeling completely lost and powerless. But the power that you lent others is always yours. You are always able to call that power back to you. Others in need may have to borrow your strength to stand themselves back up, but from there they should call upon their own power to walk the rest of the way. Do not let people leech onto you and suck your energies dry. Call your power back so that you may move forward yourself and teach others to do the same.

Scorpio: Through troubled times we can lost within ourselves and stuck in the muddiness of our minds that is created from the stagnation. We may not even realize that this is happening to us and just grow more and more frustrated at the lack of progress being seen on the outside of things. Now are the times where it is most important to sit and meditate with yourself, your thoughts, your emotions. Connect to your heart, clean out the muddiness that has settled there. Find out what it is that has attached itself to you and clung on. Cut whatever it may be away and let it go, no matter what disguise it wears, it is causing a blockage to your energies.

Sagittarius: Your feelings of stagnation may be caused by a conflict within your soul. Stop for a minute and think what it truly is that makes you happy, what makes your soul buzz like a happy honey bee. Now ask yourself what it is you are doing within your waking life. Are they the same thing? Most likely they do not align. Your soul is calling you to work on yourself and fix your life so that it aligns more with your creativity and happiness. Your work should not drain your soul energies. While working to gain what we need to stay sustained is what we are taught is most important on a survival level, doing so while going against what it is that your soul longs for kills your spirit. This way of life will only lead to depression, frustrations, self-inflicted misery. Go after what makes you truly happy. The universe will support your choices and bring you what you need. Trust in it and yourself.

Capricorn: While you may be feeling stuck at the moment, you are still on the right path. As much as you think the universe is not listening and does not care, that is not the case. The universe still supports you on your life journey. There is a reason for the timing that everything happens in. There could be some very valuable lessons to learn in this time period. Maybe one of them is learning to stay calm and patient within waiting periods. While the reasoning for this wait may seem completely unclear and unfair to you at the current moment, trust that there is a very good reason things are moving at the pace that they are moving. So long as you stay strong and stick to your soul path, the universe will always have your back and reward you with what you need when you need it.

Aquarius: The people around you and society as a whole love to put everything neatly into boxes, and that might include you. You may be feeling stuck at this time because what society thinks that you should be is not what your soul vibes with. For instance, just because you were born into certain sex does not mean that your gender identity aligns with your physical body. Just because you align with a certain gender does not mean that you have to be attracted to the opposite of that gender or even attracted to anyone at all. You are who you are. Do not let anyone place you in a box where you know that you do not belong.

Pisces: You have had so much on your plate lately that you have been running yourself ragged, maybe without even realizing it. You are so used to the go-go-go energies that you barely stop to give yourself any breaks. You may be feeling stagnant and sluggish because your body is tired and you are starting to lack the drive to do anything at all. It is imperative that you stop and truly ask yourself what it is that your physical body needs. Resting, relaxing, and taking care of the physical body in turn rejuvenates your spirit. So take some time to truly take a break and pamper yourself. You will find yourself refreshed ready to embrace the high energies again. Just remember when you do to take breaks when you need to, to listen to your body.

Aries: You may be feeling stuck right now because everything seems so monotonous and boring. With Mars being your ruling planet, you are a sign of action and you get quickly discouraged or frustrated when things are going too slow or seem to have no progress. While the wait is sometimes very necessary, you can fall into a negative state of mind during this period. While you are waiting for the results of something, take some time to let loose and have fun. Get wild, if you will. Doing something that sparks your interest will make the time go by faster for you since you won’t be so intensely focused on waiting for results.

Taurus: You are a very strong and determined sign, but sometimes waiting may not be your strong suit. When things take a bit too long, you may view yourself as being stuck. But in reality, times like these are just a time where you need to call upon your strength to help you be patient. Deep down you know that you are still walking the right path, it is just taking longer than you would like to reach your destination. You may believe you do not have the mental stamina to make it all the way to the end, but you are a lot stronger than you think you are in this aspect. Trust your inner strength. You will make it.

Gemini: This period of feeling stuck could be coming from a situation that you may not realize that you are being biased towards. There may be someone in your life that you are disagreeing with at the current moment. You may not have all of the information, therefore you are unable to find a clear path through. Take a minute to step back and call upon the power of the sage. The sage is able to separate themselves completely from any situation and view it from a higher perspective, able to just exist within the moment and take information in from all sides without forming any biases. They are then able to find the clear and logical solution because they do not let their emotions cloud their judgement. When you are feeling stuck, really try to see and understand all sides of the issue that is blocking you. You will always find a clear path this way.

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inumaqi · 5 years

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top ten tagged by @linkspooky 🍊 explanations under the cut! sorry for rambling xo → rules: name your top ten favourite characters from ten different fandoms, and then tag ten people - @osomanga @kara-suno @anonimarevolts @zeninmaki @wildbishonen @shysheeperz @tkmewthyou @kaldurlenn @joxterism @marshmallowdonutsprinkles

snufkin okay so he’s the only one not from an anime or manga but i had to put him on bc he’s the most important fictional character to me, ever. i grew up watching the moomin cartoons in the 90s and thinking about it instantly calms me down - they used to air the episodes early in the morning when it would still be dark outside: the landscapes were moody and cosy, the characters were so softly spoken and articulate... it’s just peak nostalgia. anyway, snufkin is moomin’s best friend; he returns to moominvalley every year to be with his friends during the spring and says his goodbyes to go adventure again come winter. it upsets moomin when he leaves but snufkin is adamant that quiet and solitude are important and healthy, and it’s not fair to expect him to compromise on his independence - that made a really big impact on me as a kid, especially as someone who never really had their ‘own’ space (twinsies). relationships aren’t weakened by physical distance or time, they’re about communication and understanding. that was important too. i don’t think i realised just how influential it had been until i was an adult but snufkin is an anarchist. he first shows up in the comics when moomin and sniff are talking about opening a bank - he tells them they should plant fruit trees instead. he destroys private property and rescues orphans, he refuses to participate in things that don’t bring him joy. when he’s asked where home is, he replies, “nowhere. or everywhere! it depends how you look at it” - the whole world belongs to him, and the whole world belongs to everyone else too.

yomo renji in general, i like characters that trudge along in the background and do the nitty-gritty work that supports the main story. i like people like that irl too. more than anything else, yomo is desperate to form human connections, even though he’s shackled by self-doubt and self-loathing. he just wants to positively contribute to a community, thinking he’s most useful keeping a quiet eye on people who might need protection/guidance (while still giving them space to grow and act themselves) or foraging for human corpses so that others aren’t in danger or moral anguish doing it for themselves.

bird boy is a total weapon - “the perfect ghoul” - and you’re reminded over and over again but a lot of his growth is about rejecting violence and repurposing his power as something productive that he can use to help the people around him instead of hurting people (the yang to uta’s yin). in the first few chapters, he says he kills humans (he’s a ghoul, humans are food, it’s natural) and yet he’s consistently framed as a scavenger who seeks out ‘roadkill’ [suicide victims] for sustenance, even before coming to anteiku, and implements a system so other people can do the same.

suguru getou i was originally gonna say meg bc i love him but, having just finished The Flashback Arc, i can’t stop thinking about getou and i’m beyond impressed with how akutami has managed to ground him so well, so sympathetically. getou is the sick, warped darkness to the hopeful light that gojou commands but... in an uncomfortable twist, the reverse is true, kind of.

actually, gojou is arrogant and confrontational and hyper individualistic. he’s a dissident. getou is obedient, compassionate, self-aware... he has a sense of social responsibility and passionately believes that his skills should be used to protect those who can’t protect themselves - non-jujutsu sorcerers - and all of the suffering he endures as a result is worth that. idk if others are reading his downfall differently but, from where i’m standing, that overwhelming responsibility never goes away, he doesn’t give up on it - he just starts to view the social landscape differently and begins to see how jujutsu sorcerers are vilified and mistreated in spite of all the good that they do. the ‘weak’ aren’t really weak when they’re able to organise and assert collective power over a minority, and so his sympathies shift.

the nail in the coffin for getou is learning that the hurt and pain could be eradicted from the world by cutting the head of the proverbial snake: non-jujutsu users generate cursed energy, so get rid of non-jujutsu users and cursed energy won’t be generated. it’s all horribly, weirdly rooted in good intentions that weigh him down and misdirect him. shinazugawa genya i feel like the bond that slowly starts to develop betwen tanjirou, and zenitsu and inosuke (in particular) is nicely foiled by genya’s lonely journey towards becoming a pillar. after losing almost all of his family and having sanemi walk away, genya is angry, antisocial, rude, violent, evasive...

he’s characterised as competitive, as if he hates his peers and wants to leave them in the dust as an act of self-satisfaction, a power fantasy or whenever, but this is a deliberate misdirection to cover for the fact that he’s scrambling to be a pillar so that he can reconnect with his brother and prove to him that he can protect himself; that sanemi doesn’t need to shoulder everything alone like he used to. his entire goal is an act of apology.

and in a story where so many characters are able to hone these exceptional skills, genya is uniquely disadvantaged as the only one who can’t master breathing techniques. rather than having a hero moment and powering up, his need to reconnect with sanemi is so strong that he essentially decides to compromise his humanity and become a kind of monster by ingesting the demons he’s pledged to annihilate. amajiki tamaki i wish i had a a longer explanation for this one but it’s actually super simple: tamaki is a really, really, really good portrayal of a person burdened with severe anxiety. the way he physically carries himself, the way he hides his face, his manner of speaking, his dependency on his mirio, how he interprets compliments as trickery, how he needs to be pushed and pushed and pushed before he’s finally able to release his potential... every single scene with tamaki felt deeply personal when i was reading bnha and i knew exactly what he was supposed to be feeling. shinmon benimaru sometimes good, nice people don’t fit a little friendly mould and i like that benimaru is hostile and rough and antisocial, even with people he cares about. he doesn’t expect anything of people, he doesn’t want them interfering with him, and he wants to help and support them all the same because he believes in community. he’s completely oppositional to the special fire force because he thinks it’s a tool to pursue an ideology rather than to protect people, which is why it’s so important when the eighth are finally able to win his approval - they become the only company the seventh consider allies, and it’s proof that their objectives are righteous. despite his reputation as... kind of a nuisance, his skill is acknowledged by everyone and he’s universally regarded as the strongest fire soldier there is. in spite of his antisocial attitude, he agrees that it’s important to share that with younger fire soldiers - he’s incredibly patient and understanding with them, helps them to individually adapt. the way he (and others in company seven) operate in contrast to the other companies when fighting infernals is really cool to me for two reasons: (1) it provides a commentary on how cultures and traditions often struggle to survive when they’re systematically (forcefully) replaced through power and wealth - although the subtext is a little troubling because it’s unclear whether ōkubo is conflating multiculturalism with globalisation which, uh, big nope; and (2) philosophically speaking, the approach to death is interesting. where the other companies essentially perform last rites and offer absolution to the deceased, benimaru personally takes responsibility - at the request of the people in his district - for sending them off in huge public display, kind of like a festival intending to celebrate their life. i think it speaks to how profoundly he values life. akihiko kaji i liked akihiko from the beginning because he’s stoic and introspective and also excitable and dumb. he’s a people watcher and waits for opportunities to softly guide uenoyama and mafuyu when they’re quietly crying out for help but doesn’t interfere any more than he thinks is necessary because he knows they can make their own way to where they need to go. i liked akihiko even more when he got really fucking messy. his relationship with ugetsu is sweet and it’s incredibly ugly and unhealthy because they both fail utterly to communicate with one another - they’re both to blame for avoiding and hurting each other, and i think that’s a really normal issue that people find difficult to overcome. i’m super interested (and really nervous) to see how his relationship with haruki develops. he’s done some horrible things to haruki and i want him to be accountable for those things and have them affect their relationship in a realistic way.

tanigaki genjirou one thing i really, really love about golden kamuy is the way noda satoru incorporates the importance of minority cultures into the story, and tanigaki’s apparent abandonment of his matagi heritage is really beautifully written. matagi hunting traditions shaped his life as a young man, it’s how he was able to really assimilate to the people around him and form relationships and - without getting too spoilery - he divorces himself from it all when he’s overcome by grief and hatches a plan for revenge against the person responsible. so, by allowing himself to surrender to negative feelings and thoughts instead of seeking support and learning to heal from what happened, he becomes a total shadow of himself.

makimura takeshi i know i’ve gushed about it before but i can’t properly explain just how incredible it felt seeing an asexual character in manga dialogue about being asexual, and devils’ line does it twice. the reason i’m so attached to makimura in particular is because he doesn’t seem to have fully figured it out - and he’s kinda... comfortable with that. he wants to be with someone and he wants to be monogamous but he can’t understand why he doesn’t feel sexual desire towards her; he knows his feelings aren’t platonic but doesn’t know whether they can really be called romantic either.

not to go dark mode but i very vividly remember just how lonely and horrifying it was battling with those uncertainties when i was a teenager, thinking i was broken because i didn’t have Normal Human Feelings and needed to be fixed. i was so worried about it that i thought about all the boys i knew, picked the one i thought was the nicest and actively tried to develop a crush on him. it was dumb as fuck but, ten years later, i realise it was really desperate and sad too. i forced myself to have ~my first kiss~ (it was horrible) because i felt like i was getting left behind and i think i would’ve put myself in worse situations as i got older if i hadn’t suffered with such bad social anxiety.

i hadn’t really thought too much about a lot of this stuff for yeaaars but it all came flooding back when i was reading devils’ line. it was bittersweet bc i was remembering all of those shitty feelings but also watching this character grapple with those same questions and go: i don’t know yet and that’s not weird, let’s just grow with it. i still don’t totally know whether i’m ace or aro or bi, or whatever, but i’m trying to be okay with just... not knowing.

misora shuuji anyway, devils’ line isn’t actually a manga with a specific focus on sexuality and gender but shimanami tasogare is and all of the characters are written beautifully. if you haven’t read it yet... then why haven’t you read it yet? misora is only about twelve years old and watching them battle with their growing pains is really compelling - they’re closeted but, through the lounge, they have somewhere to explore their gender and all the questions they have about it. they’re amab and present as traditionally feminine wrt clothes, wigs, makeup, etc. but can’t quite tell if they see themselves as a girl, a boy or non-binary.

with the onset of puberty and anxieties about physical changes to their body, misora’s story puts a lot of emphasis on the pressure they face to just ‘make up their mind’ about something that’s actually incredibly complex and doesn’t have any easy answers. they snap and shout and get upset, especially when tasuku (the protag) tries to push them into a corner because he wants a concrete label or identity he can attach to misora, even though space is exactly what misora needs.

#jujutsu kaisen #given #kimetsu no yaiba #boku no hero academia #enen no shouboutai #tokyo ghoul #shimanami tasogare #devils' line #golden kamuy #moomins #mine*edit

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diallokenyatta · 4 years

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Bro Diallo can you chart how Umar Johnson aka Jermaine Shoemake went from being a respected public speaker and advocate of Black issues and agendas, to the butt of jokes on the internet regarding Black consciousness? There are dozens of youtube channels dedicated to either clowning him or exposing him. On twitter he's little more than a meme. Some say he's on drugs, others say he's a crazed con-man. What happened?

I don’t know anything about him doing drugs. I would call him a ConMan because he’s actively engaged in the deception of the public to get them to contribute money to him under false pretenses, and I believe he’s still actively engaged in the Con by giving false updates about the FDMG Academy. But my issue with Dr. Umar isn’t really centered around the ongoing School Con he’s pulling, my beef with him is ideological, and I think his flawed ideology & Demagogary are at the root of all of his other issues; so that’s what I’ll speak on.

Dr. Umar was ultimately self-defeating. He built up a moralist, puritanical persona and failed to embody the very principles of manhood, family, and the discipline he advocated for and falsely told the Black community were the paths to empowerment and freedom. Dr. Umar only rose to prominence by engaging in what I have come to call Black Puritanism. Black people are primed by the Dominate System to have certain core beliefs about sex, gender roles, family, work, material value, education, and morality. Many Militant Black Leaders who claim to not only oppose White Western Culture but to be African Centered or Pan-African fully embrace the core practices and beliefs of White Western Culture, they simply infuse it with Black Militant Rhetoric and African esthetics, but at the core, it’s Western, Judeo-Christian ideology; that’s Black Puritanism.

Umar exploited the fears and indoctrination of the Black masses, he didn’t educate our people, he encouraged our people to be more regressive, not Revolutionary. If you remove all of the Black Militant Rhetoric and the African Aesthetics from his teachings you will have an ideology that is identical to Racist organizations like the Republican Party, Focus on the Family, the Proud Boys, & most other Neo-Fascist & Far-Right organizations. Also, just like the Far-Right Demagogues he mimics; he does the opposite of what he professes and teaches. From lying about celibacy to failing to marry the women he impregnates, to pursuing sex with the very type of women he rebukes (strippers, women with perms, etc.). Dr. Umar shuns Christianity and other “Slave Religions,” but his rebuke of homosexuality is drawn directly from those Slave Religions. Dr. Umar is a Ph.D., but fails to give an academic, evidence-based source for his claims about the harm homosexuality is doing to the Black community or Black manhood. I personally have been asking him, his supporters, and the larger Black Straight Pride Movement for a secular, rational, evidence-based support for their claims and condemnations for years. They call me a homosexual for simply making the inquiry. Dr. Umar’s methods and positions are an easy, quick, and profitable way to prominence and power within the Black community, but it’s a circular path, not a progressive one, it causes the Leaders who do this to take us in a circle where we always end up where we started. Many of his defenders like to point out the areas where Umar has been correct like in the over-drugging of Black youth for “behavioral issues,” and the criminalization of Black youth; and he should be commended for that, but when you use the accolades and attention you gain for accurate teachings to manipulate and fleece the public while trying to erect a cult following you deserve to be called out. Again, it’s Umar’s own misdeeds and lunacy that detracts from the good works he’s done, not his opponents and critics. As Dr. Umar or any Black Demagogue remains prominent and their views and teachings become better known outside their core followers they always evolve into caricatures of Black Militancy because their teachings can’t stand up to critical analysis or any form of intelligent scrutiny. Since hey can’t fight back academically or intellectually they start ranting and raving, making wild accusations about their challengers, threatening detractors, and a develop a Martyr Complex; in nutshell: They Go Crazy. Dr. Umar isn’t the first to go through this spiral, nor will he be the last. At this stage some Black Demagogues fade into obscurity, others manage to hold on to some level of prominence but their influence is greatly reduced, some Demagogues like Minister Farakahn constantly morph their positions and adopt new (still irrational, but new) positions to remain relevant. But the more rigid the Demagogue is the more insane they appear and the smaller their circle of influence becomes.

If you want to help Dr. Umar here are some suggestions, it won’t be a complete list but it’ll go a long way towards Dr. Umar actually making a Positive Contributions to the Just Aspirations of African People, and truly advancing the Pan-African Struggle: 1. Don’t center yourself when it comes to educating, uplifting, or leading the community; make the ideas and agendas the core. Men are flawed and we’ll all eventually fall, but the ideology and mission should be beyond any individual. Pan-Africanism doesn't need a “Prince,” it needs rational, committed organizers. 2. Don’t tout your personal morality as a reason anyone should follow you; especially if you don’t actually follow that personal morality! Your analysis, the viability of your agendas, your commitment to the protracted struggle should be what you offer and be used to measure your worthiness, not who you have (consensual) sex with or how you have sex, or any of the other shit Umar lied about. If your personal “outlets” don’t detract from the movement, then keep it to yourself. No one would have given a damn about Umar’s relationship with a Stripper if he hadn’t sold himself as the embodiment of sexual morality and restraint; he made it an issue, not his detractors. 3. If you can’t defend a position, rework or abandon it. Be teachable. 4. Everyone who criticizes you isn’t your enemy. Never threaten anyone online, never threaten or commit violence against another Black person based on verbal or ideological disagreements. 5. Stop competing with other public figures, and only debate the merits and efficacy if their ideas, conclusions, and agendas. 6. Stop attacking the mothers of your children on social media! Stop attacking Black women. Stop...just stop. 7. Stop projecting your insecurities with your own masculinity onto Black women and LGBTQAI+ community. 8. Let go of the Alpha Male persona, there’s no value to be found within it. 9. Stop giving yourself titles of esteem, if the community wants to bestow titles upon you accept them with humility & live up to them. 10. Open the school, redirect the funds you raised to another project of equal value to the community, or return the funds to your supports. Set a hard deadline for doing one of the three listed here. Finally; I can’t be too hard on Dr. Umar, cuz I held many of the views and engaged in some of the behaviors that I criticize him for (I never dupped the Hood outta $500Gs, nothing that horrible). But I had people who were patient with me and willing to educate me, if not I’d probably be spewing the same BS as him well into my 30s and beyond. So, I always try to root some real insights and guidance in my criticisms and mockery of Dr. Umar in the hope that he can learn and grow. www.diallokenyattta.com www.patreon.com/diallokenyatta #BroDiallo

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reading-writing-revolution · 4 years

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This is very thoughtfully and sensibly written by a cardiologist at University of Wisconsin, Dr James Stein:

Stay safe, but also sane, my friends. Thanks for the original share, Califa Witsch.

COVID-19 update as we start to leave our cocoons. The purpose of this post is to provide a perspective on the intense but expected anxiety so many people are experiencing as they prepare to leave the shelter of their homes. My opinions are not those of my employers and are not meant to invalidate anyone else’s – they simply are my perspective on managing risk.

In March, we did not know much about COVID-19 other than the incredibly scary news reports from overrun hospitals in China, Italy, and other parts of Europe. The media was filled with scary pictures of chest CT scans, personal stories of people who decompensated quickly with shortness of breath, overwhelmed health care systems, and deaths. We heard confusing and widely varying estimates for risk of getting infected and of dying – some estimates were quite high.

Key point #1: The COVID-19 we are facing now is the same disease it was 2 months ago. The “shelter at home” orders were the right step from a public health standpoint to make sure we flattened the curve and didn’t overrun the health care system which would have led to excess preventable deaths. It also bought us time to learn about the disease’s dynamics, preventive measures, and best treatment strategies – and we did. For hospitalized patients, we have learned to avoid early intubation, to use prone ventilation, and that remdesivir probably reduces time to recovery. We have learned how to best use and preserve PPE. We also know that several therapies suggested early on probably don’t do much and may even cause harm (ie, azithromycin, chloroquine, hydroxychloroquine, lopinavir/ritonavir). But all of our social distancing did not change the disease. Take home: We flattened the curve and with it our economy and psyches, but the disease itself is still here.

Key point #2: COVID-19 is more deadly than seasonal influenza (about 5-10x so), but not nearly as deadly as Ebola, Rabies, or Marburg Hemorrhagic Fever where 25-90% of people who get infected die. COVID-19’s case fatality rate is about 0.8-1.5% overall, but much higher if you are 60-69 years old (3-4%), 70-79 years old (7-9%), and especially so if you are over 80 years old (CFR 13-17%). It is much lower if you are under 50 years old (<0.6%). The infection fatality rate is about half of these numbers. Take home: COVID-19 is dangerous, but the vast majority of people who get it, survive it. About 15% of people get very ill and could stay ill for a long time. We are going to be dealing with it for a long time.

Key point #3: SARS-CoV-2 is very contagious, but not as contagious as Measles, Mumps, or even certain strains of pandemic Influenza. It is spread by respiratory droplets and aerosols, not food and incidental contact. Take home: social distancing, not touching our faces, and good hand hygiene are the key weapons to stop the spread. Masks could make a difference, too, especially in public places where people congregate. Incidental contact is not really an issue, nor is food.

What does this all mean as we return to work and public life? COVID-19 is not going away anytime soon. It may not go away for a year or two and may not be eradicated for many years, so we have to learn to live with it and do what we can to mitigate (reduce) risk. That means being willing to accept *some* level of risk to live our lives as we desire. I can’t decide that level of risk for you – only you can make that decision. There are few certainties in pandemic risk management other than that fact that some people will die, some people in low risk groups will die, and some people in high risk groups will survive. It’s about probability.

Here is some guidance – my point of view, not judging yours:

1. People over 60 years old are at higher risk of severe disease – people over 70 years old, even more so. They should be willing to tolerate less risk than people under 50 years old and should be extra careful. Some chronic diseases like heart disease and COPD increase risk, but it is not clear if other diseases like obesity, asthma, immune disorders, etc. increase risk appreciably. It looks like asthma and inflammatory bowel disease might not be as high risk as we thought, but we are not sure - their risks might be too small to pick up, or they might be associated with things that put them at higher risk.

People over 60-70 years old probably should continue to be very vigilant about limiting exposures if they can. However, not seeing family – especially children and grandchildren – can take a serious emotional toll, so I encourage people to be creative and flexible. For example, in-person visits are not crazy – consider one, especially if you have been isolated and have no symptoms. They are especially safe in the early days after restrictions are lifted in places like Madison or parts of major cities where there is very little community transmission. Families can decide how much mingling they are comfortable with - if they want to hug and eat together, distance together with masks, or just stay apart and continue using video-conferencing and the telephone to stay in contact. If you choose to intermingle, remember to practice good hand hygiene, don’t share plates/forks/spoons/cups, don’t share towels, and don’t sleep together.

2. Social distancing, not touching your face, and washing/sanitizing your hands are the key prevention interventions. They are vastly more important than anything else you do. Wearing a fabric mask is a good idea in crowded public place like a grocery store or public transportation, but you absolutely must distance, practice good hand hygiene, and don’t touch your face. Wearing gloves is not helpful (the virus does not get in through the skin) and may increase your risk because you likely won’t washing or sanitize your hands when they are on, you will drop things, and touch your face.

3. Be a good citizen. If you think you might be sick, stay home. If you are going to cough or sneeze, turn away from people, block it, and sanitize your hands immediately after.

4. Use common sense. Dial down the anxiety. If you are out taking a walk and someone walks past you, that brief (near) contact is so low risk that it doesn’t make sense to get scared. Smile at them as they approach, turn your head away as they pass, move on. The smile will be more therapeutic than the passing is dangerous. Similarly, if someone bumps into you at the grocery store or reaches past you for a loaf of bread, don’t stress - it is a very low risk encounter, also - as long as they didn’t cough or sneeze in your face (one reason we wear cloth masks in public!).

5. Use common sense, part II. Dial down the obsessiveness. There really is no reason to go crazy sanitizing items that come into your house from outside, like groceries and packages. For it to be a risk, the delivery person would need to be infectious, cough or sneeze some droplets on your package, you touch the droplet, then touch your face, and then it invades your respiratory epithelium. There would need to be enough viral load and the virions would need to survive long enough for you to get infected. It could happen, but it’s pretty unlikely. If you want to have a staging station for 1-2 days before you put things away, sure, no problem. You also can simply wipe things off before they come in to your house - that is fine is fine too. For an isolated family, it makes no sense to obsessively wipe down every surface every day (or several times a day). Door knobs, toilet handles, commonly trafficked light switches could get a wipe off each day, but it takes a lot of time and emotional energy to do all those things and they have marginal benefits. We don’t need to create a sterile operating room-like living space. Compared to keeping your hands out of your mouth, good hand hygiene, and cleaning food before serving it, these behaviors might be more maladaptive than protective.

6. There are few absolutes, so please get comfortable accepting some calculated risks, otherwise you might be isolating yourself for a really, really long time. Figure out how you can be in public and interact with people without fear.

We are social creatures. We need each other. We will survive with and because of each other. Social distancing just means that we connect differently. Being afraid makes us contract and shut each other out. I hope we can fill that space created by fear and contraction with meaningful connections and learn to be less afraid of each of other.

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darkmindsthinktwistedthoughts · 4 years

Text

Devil’s Trust pt3

Warnings: Strong language, Moblord styling warlords.

Masterlist

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Chapter 3

He was not in the best of moods. His plans for the evening had been dashed with a single phone call that lasted for only a few minutes. Running his hand roughly through his dark auburn hair he took hold of a fist full at the back of his head and gave it a small tug in frustration. Why summon me? What game is the Devil King playing now? The private elevator gave a small lurch as it came to a stop on the top floor. He smoothed out his dishevelled hair and gave a deep sigh before plastering on an expression of ambiguous origin and entered the Devil’s lair.

The grandeur of the place annoyed him. Penthouse apartment on top of his own building and this is what he did with it? Walking along the corridor past the glass wall that revealed the private garden, a central pavilion past an elegant rock garden, shimmering water of a koi pond and beautifully manicured plants framing the path for walking. He felt himself twitch as an unwelcome thought as to its beauty entered his mind. Who would have thought such a place existed in Hell? There was a heavy-looking sliding door at the end of the corridor, propped open, and he knew without any guidance that that was his destination.

Stopping to look inside before he entered, he couldn’t help but feel the bile in the pit of his stomach churn. This place was really something else. The blend of modern furniture with items of antiquity felt seamless. The glow of the rosewood and lacquered items gave warmth to the contrasting cold metal and supple leather. He did wonder if all the rooms in this place were decorated like this or if it was just the Devil’s office. Knowing Nobunaga and his desire to surround himself with nothing but the best it was probably safe to assume that this level of dedication to all the finer things was abundant throughout.

There was a massive desk at the top of the room in front of floor to ceiling windows giving an unprecedented view over the city. A large sofa with a couple of chairs was in front of a fireplace with a large coffee table. There was even a drinks cabinet that seemed to take up quite a bit of wall space too. The rest of the items present looked as if they saw little use.

“You kept me waiting.” Nobunaga’s low commanding voice reached him from where he was sitting on a chair near the fire. Amber liquid glowed, already swirling in the crystal tumbler he had in his hand the decanter for which was placed on the table in front of him, another glass waiting patiently near it.

“And you are keeping me from my evening plans.” Shingen haughtily retorted and took a seat on the leather sofa without invitation. The sooner this is over with the sooner I can leave.

“You can submerge yourself under females another night. Tonight, I have need of you.” Nobunaga sipped his drink an infuriating smirk on his face as he cracked his mockery. Shingen tensed but managed to retain the composure he was known for. I’ll be damned if I let you break me again Nobunaga.

“As flattering as that is, I’m not interested.” Shingen shrugged and reclined back making a show of it. The leather creaked slightly under his shifting weight almost as if it were sighing at his moving mass.

“After all this time the old Tiger still has the energy to growl and yet all I see before me is a weak little kitten.” Nobunaga leaned forward and poured for himself and his guest. Shingen was making no attempt to help himself which given their history spoke volumes of the level of trust that remained between the two heads of family. In this world you learn that suspicions saved lives. To drink or eat something you hadn’t already seen the other consume was inviting trouble and it was a fundamental lesson to even the less seasoned members of their groups.

“Provoking me will only confirm my suspicions that you are nothing more than a spoiled brat who got in a foul mood because someone took away his candy. What did you summon me for Nobunaga?” Shingen accepted the drink still not partaking of it, he simply held the weighted tumbler on his thigh in his large hand. His black eyes meeting their red counterparts, steel versus flames in this undesirable alliance.

“You still have hold of your own network throughout the city correct?”

“Naturally. Such a thing that has been generations in its cultivation cannot be rendered dead overnight even by your hand. As long as I am still living the bonds of trust are tied, the network remains.” Shingen was first and foremost a trader in information. It was not something he had felt the need to hide as it was widely known among the different factions that that was his domain. In fact, it had served him well over the years. Strategies were only as good as the information held and if you wanted a war with words you sometimes had to get a little psychological with it. Much easier to gain success when the opponent is already panicked that you might know something too juicy to share.

“Good I want you to look into something for me.” Nobunaga nodded happily after accepting confirmation. That familiar entitled attitude did little to staunch the agitated Tiger.

“I am not one of your hounds. Don’t you usually use Akechi for this kind of thing?” Shingen shot out his reply and watched as it hit home. A subtle and almost completely hidden reaction happened. His hand definitely tensed I wasn’t imagining it.

“You might not be one of my “hounds” as you call them Shingen, but you are one of my possessions. It would be a waste to not use every pawn at my disposal on occasion.” Nobu’s voice held an edge to it that was part warning and part dare. The frustrating thing to this almost textbook masking of unspoken issues within the payroll was that Shingen could not deny that there was truth in the devil’s words. Had he been in his position it would be something he would be using to his advantage as well.

“You sit there and just expect me to take your barbs and bidding?” Shingen’s voice rose to meet Nobu’s. I would rather not think of how similar we can be at times.

“I expect you to do your job. Like it or not we are part of a united front and this threat we have on the horizon is coming whether you help or not. I would have thought the great Shingen Takeda would have recognised the importance of going into battle with as much knowledge as possible is preferable to entering a battle with nothing.” He hadn’t so much as moved in his chair and yet there was no denying the shift of his oppressive presence in the room.

“You’re rattled? The Devil King himself is worried.” Shingen held his ground but his gaze had become one of curiosity.

“I am not worried nor am I afraid. I have a dislike for things that are hidden from me. Things that would try to steal what is mine. Now go and find me my weak link. Find me the focus of my attack.”

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It had taken most of the afternoon to get to the change of location and then unload the van. The neighbours had all begun their series of curtain-twitching and popping out to put items into the outside waste bins to get a look at the new arrivals almost as soon as they pulled up. Mitsuhide chuckled knowing all too well that this was the limit to a lot of people’s subterfuge in the world that was so different to his. It was more innocent and on a level with a child eavesdropping at a door.

“What are you laughing at?” [Name] looked at him curiously as she crouched down to let the cat out of its transport carrier. It gave a small grumpy sounding recognition to her as thanks for its freedom and darted off to explore its new territory.

“Nothing my dear. Nothing at all.” Mitsuhide glanced around the home that had taken on interior design inspiration from a child’s box fort. “So… what are we unpacking first?”

“The kettle. I’m gonna kill someone if I don’t get a coffee.” Casting out a flippant comment she started shuffling boxes around in an apparent search for the correctly labelled one.

“Really now? Well if you should find yourself with such a thing happening, I would hope that you remember to call me about it.” He smiled watching [Name] look over the boxes near her.

“Mobster jokes? Seriously? I was just using a common phrase Mitsu.” She huffed her words used to chastise him lost any negativity in them as she failed to suppress a beautifully happy smile from gracing her lips. Say what you like little mouse we both know you like it.

“And I was just stating facts, my dear. I think the kettle is in this one.” He slid a knife over the tape on the box and with a small popping sound, it opened revealing the chrome coloured appliance. She scooped it up and pivoted her body to go to the kitchen.

They were finally home. He had taken a lot more care and effort in selecting this place than any of his previous safe houses. It was here after all that he would be putting his greatest treasure. It had to be perfect, it had to be safe. He had researched and laid a path of paperwork thick enough to cover their trail linking it to several of his aliases in various ways to lead credibility to it all.

This was a milestone in a relationship even in the normal world. All though they had been living together already back at HQ it didn’t change how pivotal this was. As he mused over a turn of events, he had never thought possible in his life. His smirk softening into a more relaxed smile as he watched [Name] bounce around from box to box looking for cups and other things. I wonder if you know how far I would go to protect you. How far I’ve already gone and how much further I’d be willing to fall just to keep you safe.

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To say his patience was wearing thin was little more than a joke at this point. His desk was covered in the correspondence that he had had with Esshu since the untimely demise of its former CEO. Each one a polite yet firm refusal to entertain any ideas of a merger. The names signing off on each had been different and each one was added to the growing list he was formulating to try to figure out the design of the inner workings of the beast.

A few days had passed since the Tiger had been set among the pigeons and the lack of enthusiasm to retrieve what he asked for irked him. The fact they simply didn’t just accept their position and dance to the tune specified proved he couldn’t discount Shingen as a possible assassin in this game.

Something else was annoying him as well. “Don’t you usually use Akechi for this kind of thing?” He might have known that Shingen would have spotted the elephant in the room. His once sharp tool that was so quick to cut that the opposition hadn’t even registered the damage until it was too late was now playing house. The blade blunt and discolouring with lack of use. A battle was coming, would his trusted predator still be fighting?

The other company was one thing currently outside of his control. He felt his blood boil as he looked at the rejections. They had no idea who they were messing with. He hated it but there was no changing fact. They say history has a way of repeating itself and he felt the cogs of time rewind to a certain point. If they are not with him, then they stand against him and will be treated like everyone else that had refused his dream. He will crush them, destroy them and take what he wants by force for the greater good. It’s not the first time he would have to come up with a plan for a hostile takeover. But who is he targeting? Nobunaga roughly bundled the papers together on his desk in a shambolic pile and spun in his chair to stare out of his window.

The city below stretched out as far as his eye could see. Pedestrians scurried through the streets making their commute. Traffic lights at each intersection caused the traffic to pulse down the roads of the city in a familiar and predictable way.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Mitsuhide was still performing his duties. All the bases were covered and targets met with precision. Currently, there was no reason to take action to regain his tool. Still, he was not a patient man and he knew there might still come a time when he would have to do something to “correct” the issue. I warned you once before… old friend.

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