#I WANT A CHEESEBURGER RIGHT NOW

[civetside]

i was gonna wait until actual valentine's day to post this but im impatient so whatever!!!!!!!!!! look under this funny cut for an extra secret sex joke

#tlt #griddlehark #gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus #tlt shitposting #the locked tomb comic #i pray to the tomb i made no typos #modern au #I WANT A CHEESEBURGER RIGHT NOW #valentines day more like buy a butch a burger day

[chiefguideandcentre]

I found a blog with the best pictures of cheeseburgers ever and I will be reblogging all of them over a period of time

#I love cheeseburgers man #I want one of those right now also

[excelsior9173]

the temperature has dropped again here (hello -40C with the wind) and my body is trying so hard to prepare for hibernation lol

we just had a blizzard and we’re supposed to get warm weather tomorrow but all my body wants is for me to pack on the pounds and sleep

ever since the deep freeze rolled back in i’ve been craving the fattiest foods possible, and wanting really large servings of food. i love that i apparently have an inner bear to look after lmao

#ramble on exie #again- #idk what else to tag #exie’s being weird again #i had two kinds of pasta for supper but i desperately want a big greasy cheeseburger right now

[babisawyer]

the one thing I will say that tennessee has on florida is the food.

#🐇 #I thought the sweet tea was good in florida?? nah man I had not truly been living #there's a diner here that had such a good bacon cheeseburger that I'm literally still thinking about it right now #pal's??? petros?? petros chili?? holy shit man #and you can actually buy pibb like everywhere here! it's the birthplace of mountain dew and dr enuf like #the diner that the best burger in the whole world is from actually has MAD pie options and the slices are like as big as your head #we finally have a sonic too which like is probably not exciting but in florida I had to drive almost an hour to get to one so I'm excited #strawberry limeade???? oh bitch #and my house has hella stairs so I can eat all of this and not gain weight lmfao love that for me #we have a lot of moonshine distilleries too but I haven't been to one since we moved just when we'd come on vacation #I actually got totally wasted on a moonshine flight once. I was on my period and miserable and my mom was like here! this will help! #she was right it did #....now I want petros for dinner

[mammonsrockstargf]

"Fuck, the things I wouldn't do for a cheeseburger right now,"

Beelzebub's attention is immediately on you, eyes twinkling red. "We can go to Hell's Burger after this then," he says, eager to oblige to any and all requests you make. The fact that it involves food only entices him further. You sigh and shake your head, much to his confusion.

"No, Beel, like a real burger," you say, resting your head in your hands, elbows on your desk. You're sitting at the back of the class, so your teacher doesn't notice that neither of you is particularly focused. Beelzebub's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Hell's Burger's burgers aren't real?" he mumbles and you smile apologetically at him, shaking your head.

"Sorry, Beel, I just-" You stop for a second, reminiscing about your favourite burger restaurant. Beel waits patiently for you to sort out your thoughts, although the talk of burgers has increased the never-ending rumble of his stomach.

"I just crave a human-world burger, that doesn't have the word death or poison in the name or has 4,000-year-old cheese in it," you say and pout at him. "I want a proper burger, with normal cheese and lettuce and pickles-" your rant is interrupted by the loud noise of Beel's stomach, so loud that the entire class turns to look at you for a second before realising it's just Beel. The teacher sighs and resumes the lesson. Your brows furrow in concern. "You got any lunch left, big guy?" you ask and Beel shakes his head while holding onto his stomach.

Without looking up from his book a single time, Satan, sitting in front of you, reaches down into his bag and pulls out his lunch, giving it to Beel. Beel gratefully accepts it, with a sheepish look.

"Thanks, bro."

ੈ♡˳

Your craving for a real cheeseburger doesn't go away, but you resolve to not tell Beel about it after his... expressive reaction. That's until three days later when Beels is pulling you down the street by your hand. "Beel, where are we going?" you ask, but he just smiles at you, grinning from ear to ear. "Mmmh, it's a surprise," he says. You don't realize where you are until you're standing in front of the passage that you've used a couple of times before. The seal to the human realm.

"What's going on?" you ask. Beel shrugs. "Got permission from Lucifer to take you to a real burger place," he says and you stare at him in awe. "Beel, that's really nice of you," you say and he smiles. "Yeah, yeah, thank me later,"

Before you know it, you're pulled into the passage with a squeal.

ੈ♡˳

The great thing about going out with Beel is that there is absolutely no shame when it comes to ordering food. The demon is as shameless as a baby. The more the two of you order, the more the cashier in front of you seems to pale. Pretty much every burger on the menu is ordered, several portions of fries, every single dip, 20 chili cheese tops, 3 milkshakes (one for each flavour), 2 sodas, chicken wings-

"Oh, Beel, you gotta taste this one, it's the best," you say, pointing at the menu. The cashier begrudgingly adds it to your total. "Anything else I can do for you?" they ask and you smile apologetically at them. "I think we're good for now," you say pinching Beel's arm, before he begins ordering any more. He closes his mouth and blinks at you. You wonder how long he would continue to order if you didn't stop him.

"Will you be eating here or taking it with you?" The cashier asks and they raise their brows when you tell them you'll be eating it there. Probably wondering how two people can eat that much food.

You honestly can't even blame them, but it's not like you can explain that they're dealing with the Avatar of Gluttony. Beel doesn't even seem to notice the cashier's judgment when he pulls out Lucifer's card and pays for the food.

You find a secluded table and sit down. It feels almost too normal, being back in your own world, sitting at a fast-food restaurant. Beel notes your nostalgia and grabs your hand. You smile at him. "Truly, Beel, thank you for this. I needed it," you say and once again Beel just shrugs.

"Figured it was the least I could do," he says. "You've done so much for us, always getting caught in me 'n my brother's fights," he mumbles and begins to rub soothing circles into your wrist. You sit like that in comfortable silence for a while before you lean over the table to place a chaste kiss to his lips. Beel's belly grumbles and he leans over to chase your lips, but you're interrupted when three workers come over and place an insane amount of food on your table. You smile at Beel and shrug when he makes a disappointed noise.

"We're definitely getting dessert after this right?" he asks, still oblivious to the judgemental stares from the restaurant workers, but you find yourself not caring either when you grin mischievously.

"How about I'll be your dessert?"

a/n: so i did some research and i couldn't really figure out if chili cheese tops is an international thing of just a scandinavian thing? it's fried cheeseballs with jalapeno in them and bread on the outside. is that a thing in your country?

thanks for reading! find my other stuff here.

#i'm actually vegetarian #but often times a burger king veggie burger really hits #and chili cheese tops on the side #also there's this really good burger joint 2 minutes from where i live #they have the best veggie burgers ever #so i didn't go to into descriptions about meat but you can just imagine whatever gets you going #perse fics #perse fluff #obey me #obey me fic #obey me shall we date #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me beelzebub #beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub x reader #om! shall we date #om! beelzebub #obey me swd #obey me beel x reader #obey me beel fluff #obey me fluff #obey me beelzebub fluff

[dazzlingdisaster]

"I want food." *looking in fridge* "But this all sucks." *stomach growl* "Ugh I wish I had food that didn't suuuuuck..."

And then you keep repeating this exact scenario every nine minutes and seventeen seconds until you're so hungry that you hit "fuck it" and eat something.

#daz life #daz weirdness #hey kids guess what I'm doing? #definitely not eating right now that's for sure haha #why can't we just download food #take out the delivery middleman and just download cheeseburgers #you can't tell me that wouldn't be fucking amazing #damn it I want cheeseburgers so bad rn #and fries and a bigass root beer #fuuuuuuuck

[waitimcomingtoo]

I Can See You

pairing: Peter Parker x Happy’s daughter!reader

synopsis: You can see Peter being your addiction and Peter can see you as a secret mission

real synopsis: Happy forbids you and Peter from dating, which only makes you want to do it more

Masterlist

“Hey.” You nodded at Peter as you wandered into his room. The hair on Peters neck stood up on high alert now that a stranger was in his bedroom. He shut his laptop and swiveled in his desk chair to follow what you were doing. He watched you walk over to his Lego shelf as if you’d been in his room a hundred times and admired his Lego titanic.

“Um, hello. Can I help you?” Peter asked.

“Did you build this?” You asked in reply.

“Oh, yeah. I did. It took me almost a full month.”

“Wow. It’s huge.” You said and gently ran your hand along the side of it.

“I know. It’s kinda cramped in here, though. I want to display it in the living room.” Peter told you. His tingle was telling him you weren’t a threat so now he just saw you as a pretty girl who had wandered into his room.

“You totally should display this thing. It’s awesome. What’s stopping you?” You wondered.

“The family pictures in the way.” Peter laughed dryly.

“Psh. Who needs those?” You joked, making him smile.

“Not me.” Peter played along. “But my aunt might be just a little upset if I replaced photos of her dead brother and dead husband with my Lego titanic.”

“That’s nothing. My dad replaced my high school graduation picture with a photo of his dead best friend eating a cheeseburger. It’s not even a good picture. It’s blurry and my dads pinky is in the frame.”

“Damn, your graduation picture? That’s next level. Either he really loved his best friend or it was a really good cheeseburger.”

“Probably both.” You shrugged. “Uncle Tony knew all the best cheeseburger spots in Queens.”

“Wait, Tony? Like Tony Stark?” Peter asked and stood up from his desk chair.

“Yeah, Tony Stark. Oh, that’s right. I forgot you knew him.” You said and tapped the side of your head.

“Your dads best friend.” Peter said to himself. “Wait a second. Are you…”

“Y/n Hogan. Your aunt invited my dad and I over for dinner.” You said and you held your hand out.

“Wait, you’re Happy’s daughter? But you’re so pretty.” Peter said in disbelief as he shook your hand.

“What?” You laughed.

“I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. Your dad is a very beautiful man. I can see the resemblance.” Peter quickly followed up.

“Seeing the resemblance is impressive considering I was adopted.” You laughed again and continued looking around his room. You saw his Spiderman suit hanging in the closet and touched it with a fond smile on your face.

“Oh God. Can we start over? I feel like I failed at this conversation.”

“You didn’t. I actually think you’re doing a pretty good job talking to me considering the deep lore that runs between us and our mutual acquaintances.” You assured him.

“Oh.” He blushed. “Thanks.”

“No problem. So did this thing come with a Lego iceberg?” You asked and pointed to the Lego titanic.

“No. That would’ve been perfect. But unfortunately, Lego didn’t have a dark sense of humor.”

“But I do. Do you have any blue legos?” You asked with a devious smile.

“Yeah. What are you thinking?”

A few minutes later, you and Peter were sitting on his bedroom floor with his Lego bin between you. You led the conversation, much to Peters delight, as you added onto each others creations. Even though Peter was usually shy and awkward around strangers, he found it very easy to talk to you. Maybe it was because you were already apart of his secret world and he didn’t have to lie about anything, or maybe it was just because you got along. Whatever it was, Peter really enjoyed talking to you. You felt more like an old friend rather then a stranger. Happy came into the room after a little while and was surprised to see you already in there.

“Oh, there you are. I was looking for you. But I see you found Peter.” Happy said and gave Peter a stern look.

“You never told me you had a daughter.” Peter playfully scolded him to keep the mood light.

“That’s because I don’t disclose any personal information to teenagers in spandex.” Happy said curtly.

“Dad. Be nice.” You whispered harshly.

“What are you guys doing in here anyway?” Happy asked as he folded his arms.

“Making a Lego iceberg for Peters Lego titanic.” You explained and held up what you had built so far.

“Interesting, interesting. Peter, can I talk to you for a second?” Happy said through a fake smile.

“Yeah. Sure. Be right back.” He told you before getting up to follow Happy into the hallway.

“What’s up?” Peter asked kindly.

“Don’t even think about it.” Happy said immediately.

“Huh? Don’t think about what?”

“My daughter. Don’t even let it cross your mind. Because if it crosses your mind, I’ll know about it. And if I know about it, I’m gonna kill you.”

“Wait, you think I’m trying to date your daughter? I just met her. Relax.” Peter laughed.

“No, I won’t relax. I don’t ever want to see my daughter in your bedroom, okay? That’s gross. I don’t want you getting your horny little nerd germs on her.”

“We were just playing with legos.” Peter pointed out.

“That’s always how it starts.” Happy wagged his finger. “I know your type. You lure girls in with your boyish charm because they think you’re safe.”

“I am safe, Happy.” Peter insisted. “You know me. You know I’d never break her heart.”

“I know you won’t. Because you won’t get the chance.”

“I’m sorry, but why is it okay for you to date my aunt but not for me to date your daughter?” Peter asked and folded his arms.

“Oh, so it has crossed your mind? I knew you were thinking about dating my daughter.” Happy pointed accusingly at him. “I knew it the second I walked into your room. You’re thinking about her right now, aren’t you? Well stop. My daughter is not allowed in your head, okay? Ever. Get her out.”

“I wasn’t thinking about dating her until you put the idea into my head. But I kinda want to do it now.” Peter laughed in amusement and looked back at his room where you were.

“Don’t you even dare.” Happy whispered and took a step closer to him.

“Or what? What’ll you do?” Peter challenged him. He didn’t even care that much about it, he just wanted to antagonize Happy for his own amusement.

“Kill you.” Happy stated like it was obvious. “Like I said.”

“What if she likes me? Huh?” Peter smirked. “You can’t tell her not to date me. That’ll just drive her straight into my arms.”

“That’s not gonna be a problem because she’ll never like you. She’s too smart.”

“I’m a good guy, Happy. Tony knew that. Wouldn’t you rather her date a nice, responsible guy that you’ve known for years over some random stranger whose intentions might be impure?”

“She can date a guy I know.” Happy shrugged. “Just not you.”

“We’ll see.” Peter shrugged as well.

“What? What does that mean? We’ll see? We’re not gonna see anything because you’re not dating my daughter.” Happy declared.

“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.” Peter shrugged again.

“No, you definitely won’t.”

“How are you gonna stop it?” Peter asked him.

“With a gun.” Happy replied. “That I use to kill you. To death.”

“I don’t think your daughter would appreciate you killing her future boyfriend.” Peter said innocently.

“You’re not her future boyfriend. You’re not her future anything. But you’re a future dead person if you keep this up.”

“Relax, Happy. I’m just messing with you. I’m not gonna date your daughter.” Peter laughed and patted Happy’s shoulder. Just then, you came out of Peters room with the Lego iceberg you had built.

“I’m gonna help May in the kitchen. Maybe I’ll accidentally knock down a few family pictures while I’m in there.” You said and winked at Peter.

“Why would you do that?” Happy asked you.

“Peter gets it.” You smiled coyly before disappearing down the hall and into the kitchen. Peter watched you walk away and felt something blossoming in his chest. That simple moment of sweet understanding between you was all he needed to fall head over heels for you.

“Happy?” Peter said without taking his eyes off where you had just been standing.

“Yeah?” Happy replied. Peter turned to face him, put his hand on Happy’s shoulder, and smiled sympathetically.

“I’m gonna date your daughter.”

Before Happy could respond, May called everyone in for dinner. Peter and Happy exchanged a look before throwing on smiles so that you and May wouldn’t suspect anything. Happy sat across from Peter with you sitting beside him, meaning that every time Peter looked at you, he got a kick under the table from Happy. Similarly, anytime you tried to ask Peter a question or start a conversation with him, Happy cut you off. Peter tried to do the same with you but was always met with a death glare from Happy. The incredibly silent and awkward dinner ended all too soon and Happy could not have taken you out of Peters apartment fast enough. You waved to Peter as Happy pulled you out the door but there was no time for an exchanging of words. What a beautiful wedding jk jk iykyk.

Peter was fully prepared to let his little crush on you go away on its own without any intention of acting on it. He knew it was a bad idea anyway to get involved with the daughter of the head of security, but that didn’t stop him from thinking about you from time to time.

“Hey Happy. I just wanted to report that I found a lost dog today. But then it ran away again after I returned to to the owner. I’m starting to think it wanted to be lost. Maybe he met a bunch of stray dogs and felt more at home with them on the streets than he ever did in his owner’s apartment. What do you think?” Peter asked over FaceTime as he gave Happy his daily report from patrolling the neighborhood.

“Kid, I don’t care. I never have. You don’t need to keep calling me with random updates of what you do on patrol.” Happy told him. In the background of Happy’s video, Peter could see you walking into the room with nothing but a towel wrapped around yourself and your wet hair hanging around your face. He perked up and felt his face heat up at the sight of you.

“Is that Peter?” You asked and walked over to where Happy was sitting.

“No. It’s not.” Happy said and tried to shut his laptop.

“Hi Peter.” You opened it back up and waved, leaving you with only one hand to hold your towel onto your body. Peter turned bright red as he stared at the screen and felt all dialogue options leave his mind.

“Oh, uh, hi.” He stammered. “I didn’t see you there. I didn’t even know you were home. How’s it going?”

“Pretty good.” You shrugged. “What kind of dog was it?”

“What?”

“The dog you found. What breed?” You asked with genuine interest. Peter smiled at you wanting to know and felt his blush deepen.

“Chihuahua. His name was Pinto.”

“Aw.” You smiled. “That’s so cute.“

“Oh, yeah. Very cute. Very, very cute.” Peters eyes glazed over as he stared at your through the screen. Happy looked back and forth between Peter and you before realizing what Peter was staring at.

“I’m hanging up now.” Happy warned.

“Wait-“

The call ended abruptly and Peter was left alone staring at a black screen. If Happy was going to stop him from seeing you, he would going to have to get creative.

A few nights later, Peter formed a new plan. If Happy was gonna date his aunt, he was going to use it to his advantage.

“Oopsie. I just accidentally ordered two pizzas instead of one. Silly me. What will we do with all this incoming pizza?” Peter asked as he dramatically scratched the top of his head to make it look like he was thinking.

“I don’t know.” May shrugged. “Eat a lot of pizza?”

“That’s a great idea, May. Or, and this is just coming to me now, what if we invite Happy over to eat some? So you guys can have a little date night. He even can bring his daughter. What was her name again? Telulah? Annabeth? Marcy?”

“Y/n?” May chuckled and raised her eyebrow.

“Right. Her.” Peter played dumb. “She probably likes pizza, right?”

“I know what you’re doing, but I’m gonna go with it anyway because there’s no way we can eat two pies and I hate wasting food.” May playfully scolded him as she dialed Happy’s number.

Much to Peters delight, you and Happy showed up a few minutes later. You were standing behind your dad with a bag behind your back.

“Hey. Thanks for the invite.” Happy said and kissed Mays cheek. You looked at Peter over your dads shoulder and waved.

“No problem.” May replied. “It was actually Peters idea.”

“Oh, was it?” Happy asked and stared daggers at Peter. Peter shrugged innocently before making eye contact with you. He discreetly nodded towards his bedroom before going to it. You followed after him once the coast was clear.

“Hey.” You smiled at him and shut his door behind you.

“Hey. Thanks for coming over. I’m glad you could make it.” Peter played it cool but was screaming on the inside over you being in his room again.

“I’m glad you invited us. I have a present for you but I didn’t have any way of getting in touch with you.”

“You wanna touch me?” Peter said in a low voice as he stared at you with his eyebrows raised.

“What was that?”

“I said you have a present for me?” He quickly corrected himself and threw on a smile.

“Uh huh. Look what I found.” You held the bag up and pulled out the Lego Super Star Destroyer, a Lego set Peter had dreamed of owning since he was a kid.

“What?! You got this for me?” He jumped out of his chair and held the box to read it.

“Yeah. You mentioned last time that you always wanted this one. I know you’re a big fan of the movies so I wanted you to have it.” You smiled sheepishly as you stared at him. His childlike excitement and wonderstruck expression made him even cuter than you typically found him. His expression changed suddenly when he realized he could never accept such a costly gift.

“This set costs a fortune. You really didn’t have to do this.” Peter looked apologetic as he looked into your eyes. You laughed a little at how bad he felt and put your hand on top of his.

“It’s okay. I wanted to do it.” You assured him. “Plus, Uncle Tony put me in his will so I’m kinda flushed with cash right now. I would’ve just spent the money on something stupid. And I know he loved you so he’d be happy I used the money to buy a Lego set for us.”

“Us?” Peter cracked a smile and felt his excitement return.

“Yeah. I thought we could build it together while my dad makes out with your aunt.” You suggested.

“Gross.” Peter grimaced. “But the part about building it together sounds fun.”

Now that he was willing to keep it, you tore the box open and dumped the pieces out. You and Peter sat next to each other with your knees touching as you built the spaceship. Peter snuck glances at you every now and then, and you caught them every time. You accidentally made eye contact at one point and he turned pink.

“You know, my dads been up my ass all week because of you.” You said with a soft laugh.

“Me? What did I do?”

“I don’t know. Did you tell him we were dating or something?” You questioned him, making him gulp.

“Actually, he told me not to date you.” Peter admitted.

“He told me the same thing. Little does he know, that just makes me want to date you even more.” You replied. Peter froze and realized that if what Happy said made you want to date him more, that meant you already wanted to date him in the first place. You realized that you had said too much at the same time Peter did and looked at him out of the corner of your eye to see if he was weirded out. To your surprise, he was staring at you with a soft expression. He quickly cleared his throat and looked away when you caught him staring.

“Doesn’t he know that the hottest thing a guy can do is be disliked by the girls dad?” Peter said like it was obvious.

“Exactly. I told him disapproving of you was just going to send me straight into your arms. And who could even blame me? They’re really nice arms.” You shrugged and gave Peter a coy smile. Peter laughed shyly and busied himself with the legos so you wouldn’t see him blushing.

“What did he say to that?” He asked you.

“That there will be a cold day in hell before he lets me go out with you.” You laughed.

“And what did you say?” Peter asked as he looked up at you and found that you were already looking at him.

“I told him that he can’t tell me who to date and if I wanted to go out with you, I will.” You said simply. Peter gulped and never broke eye contact with you and he reached for a Lego brick. Your hands accidentally touched and he saw sparks fly.

“Do you want to go out with me?” He asked quietly. You opened your mouth to answer just as May opened hers.

“Hey, kids. Pizzas here.” May said as she appeared in Peters doorway. You looked at him apologetically before getting up and following May to the kitchen. He desperately wanted to get you alone again to finish your conversation, but Happy was never gonna let that happen.

It came time for you and Happy to leave and Peter was visibly disappointed. As Happy and May said their goodbyes, you pulled Peter to the side.

“Goodnight, Peter. I had fun tonight.” You said sincerely.

“So did I. Thank you again for the legos. It’s the nicest thing anyones ever done for me.”

“I’m glad you liked them. Hopefully I’ll see you again. Hopefully soon.”

“Yeah. Totally.” Peter nodded eagerly.

You held out your hand to shake Peters, which Peter found a little strange. But when he shook your hand, he felt you slip a piece of paper into his. Peter waited until Happy was out the door before opening the paper up. Written in your handwriting was your phone number. Peter looked up in surprise and made eye contact with you.

“Call me.” You mouthed to him and made your hand like a phone just as Happy pulled you away.

And that’s exactly what Peter did. It became your nightly secret mission to sneak off and call Peter once you were sure Happy was asleep or preoccupied in front of the TV. You would talk for hours in hushed voices so no one would hear.

“Can you imagine what my dad would do if he found us out?” You asked Peter one night as you hung over the edge of your bed to talk to Peter.

“So there’s an us to find out about?” Peter asked and felt grateful you couldn’t see his blush over the phone.

“I don’t know.” You smiled timidly. “I really like talking to you, Peter.”

“Well that’s good. I’m happy to hear that. Because I like it too.” He laughed shyly.

“I think about you a lot when we’re not on the phone.” You admitted as you switched positions and rolled onto your stomach.

“You do?” Peter gulped.

“Uh huh. All the time.”

“What do you think about?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t believe half the things I see inside my head.” You chuckled. Peter gulped again and felt his face heat up. He cleared his throat before speaking again.

“Why don’t you explain it to me then?” He asked. Before you could answer, a loud crash sounded from his side of the phone.

“What’s all that noise?” You asked him.

“Mays looking for the pasta maker.” Peter sighed. “We have a thousand boxes of mezzi rigatoni but she wanted fettuccini.”

“Fettuccine actually sounds amazing right now. I need to get up and make some food. I just hope my dad went grocery shopping or else I’m eating sleep for dinner.”

“You should come over tonight.” Peter said before he would overthink it.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Come make pasta with us. May usually burns something and then gives up about 15 minutes into cooking so we wouldn’t have to hang out with her the whole time. We could make pasta together. Just the two of us.”

“Okay. My dads watching a movie in the den so he won’t mind if I go out. I’m in.” You smiled and started to get ready to see him.

“Awesome. Great. See you soon.” Peter grinned and hung up the phone. He quickly brushed his teeth and put on a fresh shirt before joining May in the kitchen. There was a knock on the door soon enough and Peter practically ran to open it.

“Ciao.” He said as he flung the door open.

“Ciao, bello.” You replied. “Scopiamo stasera o cosa?”

“Wait, what? I don’t actually speak Italian.” Peter sheepishly.

“That’s probably for the better.” You laughed and walked into his apartment.

“Oh, good. You’re here. And you brought wine! Even better. Come in, come in.” May kissed your cheek before taking the bottle of wine and opening it.

“Peters been dying for you to get here.” She whispered in your ear, but loud enough for Peter to hear.

“May.” Peter whined and motioned for her to zip it.

“What? I’m just being honest.” May shrugged. “Honesty is the best policy. That’s what I always say.”

“She’s right. That’s a great policy.” You said and gave Peter a look.

“Oh yeah? Does your dad know you’re here?” Peter asked you and folded his arms, already knowing the answer. Your smile dropped when you realized he was right.

“A little lie never hurt anybody.” You replied. Peter smirked, knowing he caught you.

“Come here. I’ll show you how to make the dough.” Peter said and led you to the kitchen with his hand on your back. You and Peter made the pasta dough while May chopped up some tomatoes and made a sauce. May switched the radio on to play some instrumental background music that made the apartment feel like a small cafe in Italy.

“All right. I think we’re ready. I’m gonna get the pasta maker. It should be in the attic.” May broke up the party and put the meatball back in the sauce.

“If you can’t find it, what do we do with all this dough?” You asked her.

“I don’t know. Make a shit ton of Pizza.” May shrugged and left to go find the pasta maker.

“Okay then.” You chuckled. Once you and Peter were alone, you hoped up on the counter and leg your legs swing.

“Should we try it to make sure it tastes good?” You asked as you rolled some dough between your fingers and made a snake.

“Yeah, but not that piece. You made a worm.” Peter said and pointed to your dough.

“So what? It’s just dough. Try some.” You replied and dangled the dough in his face.

“Dough way.” He laughed at his own pun and swatted the dough away.

“Oh, we’re making pasta puns now? You’re gonna pay for that.” You playfully warned him.

“But I dough not want it.” Peter pouted and leaned on the counter you were sitting on so you were caged in between his arms. You both became aware of how close you were at the same time and laughed shyly.

“Can’t think of anything other than replacing “do” with “dough” huh?” You asked and raised an eyebrow.

“Dough, I can’t.” He shamefully admitted. You gave him a look and he held up his hands in defense.

“That one was different.” He pointed out.

“All right. I’ll give it to you. Now eat the pasta worm.” You playfully demanded and dangled it in his face again.

“No. Get that thing away from me.” He laughed and smacked it away. It flew across the room and stuck to a nearby cabinet with a loud smack.

“Wow. Look at that.” Peter said, genuinely dumbfounded.

“It’s kinda beautiful.” You said as you quietly stared at the pasta in awe. Peter turned to look at you and rested his hands back on the counter.

“You’re kinda beautiful.” He said in a soft voice. You tore your eyes away from the pasta to look at him but couldn’t form a single word.

“Even with flour on your face.” He chuckled and wiped a smudge of flour off your cheek with his thumb. You gulped and discreetly picked up some flour off the counter.

“You have some flour on your face too.” You told him as you stared into his eyes.

“Where? Here?” Peter asked and touched his cheek.

“No. Here.” You smirked before throwing the handful of flour at him. Peter coughed and waved his hand to get it away from his face.

“Oh, you’re gonna pay for that.” He warned and grabbed a handful of flour. He went to throw it at you but you caught him by the wrist to stop him. Peter wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you closer to him so that you couldn’t block his next attempt. But instead of feeling flour on your face, you felt Peter kissing you. You weren’t actually sure if you kissed him or he kissed you, but you didn’t really care. You wasted no time in tangling your hands on his hair and deepening the kiss. His hands slid up and down your back before finding their way up your shirt. You felt your entire body heat up as you kissed him and felt all the tension that had been building up release into the atmosphere between you. He kissed you until you felt dizzy but you didn’t stop even then. You started to unbutton his button down when the moment was interrupted.

“Found it!” May called from the hallway. You jumped apart so quickly that you fell right off the counter. You screamed on the way down as Peter watched with his hands over his mouth. He rushed to pick you up just as May came back into the kitchen. She took one look at the flour covering the two of your, most noticeably the flour handprints on either of Peters cheeks, and knew what had happened.

“Oh my God. What happened in here?” May played dumb.

“Fell.” You and Peter said in unison.

“Oh no. Are you okay?”

“Maybe?” You smiled weakly and rubbed your throbbing head. Peter touched his hands, which now felt cold from the absence of you.

“Oh my God. How did you get flour all over your back?” May laughed and turned you around to see the flour Peter had left all over your clothing.

“I’m a messy girl.” You shrugged and hoped she’d buy it.

“Look at that. The flour on Y/n’s butt looks like a perfect handprint. How funny is that?” May laughed again and pointed to the handprint Peter had left on your black leggings. He turned so red that he had to turn around so May wouldn’t see it.

“I’m gonna go potty.” You said quickly and ran to the bathroom.

“She okay?” May asked once you were gone.

“Her? What? Yeah. She’s fine. Nothing weird happened while you were gone.” Peter said a little too quickly.

“Hm. How did that piece of pasta get stuck to the cabinet?” May asked and pointed to the pasta Peter had flung.

“I’m not sure.” Peter lied.

“Are you feeling okay? Your face and neck is all red.” May asked and pressed her hand to Peters forehead. He knew she was getting suspicious and had to think of a lie to get out of there.

“I have to poop.” Peter blurted and walked out of the kitchen.

“Y/n is in there.” May called after him.

“I’ll go to the other bathroom!” He shouted back.

Peter passed the bathroom in the hallway and stopped outside of it. He pressed his ear against the door to try and hear if you were freaking out or not.

Which you 100% were.

“What the hell are you doing? You can’t just kiss him. You slut bag! You hussy! You don’t even know how he feels about you.” You whispered to the mirror. You splashed some cold water on your face to calm down before looking at your reflection.

“Woman up and get your shit together. Go out there and make pasta with your dads girlfriends nephew like a fucking normal person.” You warned yourself in the mirror.

The bathroom door suddenly opened and Peter fell inside. You gasped and pulled him the rest of the way in before shutting the door.

“I’m sorry! I wasn’t doing anything!” Peter said quickly.

“What are you doing out here?!” You whispered harshly.

“Nothing! I just wanted to talk!” He whispered back in a panic.

“So you wait outside the bathroom door? What if I was pooping?! You would’ve heard it.” You whispered even louder and angrily shook his shirt.

“But I didn’t.” He said weakly.

“I think I need to go home.” You sighed and left the bathroom.

“Wait, no. Please stay.” Peter pleaded as he followed after you. He caught you in the hallway and gently pulled your arm to get you to stop.

“I can’t. I can’t go back in there. She’s gonna know something sus happened.” You whispered to him and pointed to the kitchen.

“It wasn’t sus. But I really think we need to talk about it.” Peter said and looked at you with his big puppy dog eyes. You knew he was dying to talk about it and you felt guilty leaving him after what happened.

“Peter, look. I’m really sorry that I kissed you-“

“I’m not.” He cut you off and pushed you against the wall. The interrupted kiss was resumed and even more passionate than the last. He had you up against the wall as he kissed you as if he hadn’t seen you in years. You forgot all about the pasta and your dads warning and just got lost in his touch. You both knew it was wrong and that you could be caught any second, and that’s what made it feel so right. Peter squeezed your hip, signaling you to jump up and wrap your legs around his waist. You couldn’t feel him smiling into the kiss as he pressed you against the wall. That was the moment you knew you were never giving this boy up, no matter what your father said.

“Peter! Y/n! What happened to my sous chefs?” May shouted from the kitchen. You pulled apart and stared at each other as you caught your breath.

Peter gently set you back down on the floor but stayed in your personal space as he leaned against the wall. You never broke eye contact with him as he fixed a strand of hair that he knocked onto the wrong side of your part. You gulped and smoothed your clothing down before looking away.

“Can we talk after? Please? Don’t go home.” Peter pleased as he buttoned his shirt back up. You looked him up and down and knew you were at his mercy.

“Fine. You’ve convinced me. I’ll stay.” You agreed. Peter smiled in relief and led you back to them kitchen.

“Look who decided to join us.” May smiled proudly and stepped to the side to reveal Happy standing behind her. Peters knees buckled and he immediately fainted onto the ground. You caught him and let him lean on you as you waved your hand in front of his face to wake him up.

“Dad? What are you doing here?” You asked through a big fake smile.

“I could ask you the same thing.” He said through an even faker smile.

“I was making Peter with Pasta. I mean, pasta with Peter.” You stumbled over your words as Peter came to and nearly fell over again. You held him upright but his waist until he could stand on his own. Happy was watching the whole thing and growing more suspicious by the second.

“Hm. You didn’t mention you were going over my girlfriends house when you said you were going out. I find that a little strange. Don’t you?” Happy shrugged as he folded his arms.

“Maybe I find you a little strange.” You said out of the corner of your mouth.

“Now that Happy’s here we’re gonna need some more pasta. Honey, can you knead the rest of the dough?” May asked you.

“Sure. I can dough that.” You laughed nervously. Happy gave you a strange look and you gulped.

“I’m sorry. I kiss-poke. I mean, misspoke.” You gulped again and went over to the dough. Peter went to follow you and earned a longing glare from Happy as he did. The two of you bumped into each other and dropped things on the floor numerous times from how nervous you were now that Happy was there. Once Happy and May disappeared to the couch to drink wine, Peter knew it was safe to talk.

“Stop being weird.” He whispered to you.

“I’m about to murder-suicide us.” You said at full volume.

“Peter, can you help her? You gotta put your elbow grease into it.” May called from the couch.

“Yeah. I can dough that.” Peter replied.

“Stop making dough puns.” You hissed.

“I literally fucking can’t.” He deadpanned. You suddenly felt his arms wrap around you as he put his hands on top of yours to knead the dough.

“What are you doing?” You asked him.

“Helping you knead the dough.”

“Why wouldn’t you just stand beside me?”

“Because this is how men show women how to do things in rom coms.” Peter said very seriously.

“Okay, but we’re not in a rom com. We’re in real life in your real kitchen with my dad who has a real gun.”

“He won’t shoot me. I’m his girlfriends only nephew. I’m untouchable.”

“And so am I as long as my father is present.” You said and slipped out of his arms.

“Is everything okay over there?” Happy asked from the couch.

“Yes.” You and Peter shouted back in unison. You finished with the dough and brought it over to the pasta maker.

“You better speed run this fucking pasta before I lose my mind.” You whispered in his ear.

“I’m going as fast as I can.” Peter whispered back as he put the dough in the pasta maker as painstakingly slow as possibly. The pasta maker squeaked as he turned the handle and echoed off the walls of the silent kitchen. You could feel sweat running down your face and started to fan yourself.

“I can’t handle this. My dad is gonna know what we did.” You said and gave your hair a stressful tug.

“We haven’t done anything wrong.” He pointed out as he finished up with the pasta. You nodded in agreement and picked up the pasta he had made.

“Yet.” He added and stole a kiss against your neck. You gasped and put your hand where his lips had been.

“What are you doing? My dad is in the next room?”

“I know. That’s what makes it so exciting.” Peter said and leaned in to kiss you again.

���The water should be boiling by now. Can you start putting the pasta in?” May asked as she appeared in the kitchen. You quickly turned around and pretended to be doing something so she wouldn’t suspect anything.

“Sure.” Peter smiled calmly at her and put the pasta into the boiling water. May went back to the living room, leaving you and Peter alone once again. You picked up a wooden spoon and pushed the pasta around the pot in an attempt to look busy.

“I can see you. Stop staring at me.” You said when you felt Peters eyes on you. You looked up and sure enough, he was watching you with a soft expression.

“I’m sorry. I can’t help it.” He said as he walked over to you. He wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and pulled you into him. It felt nice for a moment but you knew it shouldn’t be happening.

“I am off limits, okay mister? You cannot be staring at me like that.” You whispered and slipped out of his arms.

“Off limits? What does that mean?” He played dumb.

“It means that we cannot happen.” You said and gestured between the two of you. “We can never, ever happen. My dad will reign hell fire on you for even thinking about it. And he’ll reign regular fire on me because I’m his daughter which will be less hot but still really bad.”

“Psh.” Peter scoffed. “I’m not scared of him.”

“You should be. He has access to all of Uncle Tony’s weapons. So unless you want to get blown up or turned inside out, you need to stop. That’s means stop staring at me, stop touching me, and definitely stop kissing me.” You whispered as you got in his face. Peter smirked now that he had you close again and put his hands on your hips. You gulped and looked anywhere but his eyes as he got close to you.

“You want me to stop kissing you?” He asked as he tilted your chin up to look in his eyes.

“Yes.” You replied, but it came out like more of a question than a statement.

“Are you sure?” He asked and moved in even closer. His lips brushed yours when he spoke and you felt your eyelids flutter shut. Right before your lips could touch, you covered your mouth and stepped back.

“No. No more. We can’t.” You said behind your hand. Peter smiled sadly and nodded his head. He looked disappointed but like he understood.

“I know we can’t happen.” He said in a soft voice. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want it to.”

“It doesn’t matter what we want.” You gently reminded him and nodded towards the living room where Happy was.

“So you want it too?” He asked innocently and tilted his head to the side. You sucked in a sharp breath and thought about the way it felt when he had you up against the wall and how badly you wanted that again.

“Peter.” You breathed out.

“Do you have any idea how beautiful I find you?” Peter asked you. Footsteps approaching made you jump apart and turn your backs to each other.

“Hey guys. How’s the pasta coming?” May asked as she walked into the kitchen.

“It’s coming.” Peter replied.

“It’s definitely pasta.” You nodded in agreement.

“Great. I’ll set the table.” May laughed at your strange behavior and grabbed some plates. Once you were alone again, you answered Peters question.

“Yes.” You told him.

“What?”

“You asked me if I’d want this to happen too. My answer is yes.” You said and looked into his eyes. Peter smiled now that he knew you felt the same but didn’t want to let you off that easy.

“Oh. But then I asked you if you knew how beautiful I found you so I thought you were answering-“

“Shut up.” You laughed as you cut him off. Peter smiled fondly at you from across the kitchen and you felt yourself smile back.

“Do you really feel the same?” He asked, all teasing in his voice gone.

“I do. But I told you, it doesn’t matter what we feel. We can’t date. Ours is a forbidden love.”

“I know. That’s what makes me want you even more.” Peter said with a wicked smile. You stopped leaning on the counter and started to walk to Peter when your dad suddenly walked into the kitchen.

“What are you guys talking about?” Happy asked suspiciously when he noticed the love struck expression on both your faces.

“Dad.” You whined. “Don’t you knock?”

“Knock on what? You’re standing in the middle of the kitchen.” He pointed out. You and Peter exchanged a look, and then you and Happy exchanged a look. Happy looked at Peter and narrowed his eyes, making Peter panic.

“Dinners ready!” Peter shouted despite 75% of the people in the apartment being right in front of him.

“Um, Peter, the pasta is still raw. It’s only been in there a few minutes.” You reminded him.

“Dinner!” Peter said again. “Let’s sit and eat.”

You shrugged and went with it to keep your dad from getting suspicious. You drained the pasta and put it in a big bowl before Peter added the sauce on top. You brought it to the dining table that May had set and put it in the center. Everyone sat down and served themselves some pasta.

“So what’s new with everyone?” Happy asked.

“Nothing.” You and Peter said at the same time. You gave him a look and he gulped nervously.

“Is anything new with you?” You asked May politely.

“Yeah.” Peter nodded. “Talk about yourselves. Tell us everything.”

“Well, um, May and I have been thinking about getting married.” Happy said sheepishly. You spit out your water as Peters jaw dropped.

“Oh.” May smiled tightly. “I didn’t realize we were telling them.”

“Wait, married?” You asked them.

“Yeah. Thinking about it.” Happy nodded as May shook her head.

“But, uh, if you guys got married, what would that mean for us exactly?” You laughed nervously and gestured between you and Peter.

“Well, I’d become Peters uncle, so you guys would technically be cousins.” Happy shrugged as May nodded in agreement. A chill ran down your spine at the use of the “c” word. Peters mouth started to heavily salivate like it usually did before he threw up.

“Cousins?” You choked out.

“Or would they be siblings?” Happy wondered.

“Oh God.” You whimpered. “Not siblings. Anything but siblings.”

“No, just cousins.” May explained. “Because I would become Y/n’s stepmom but Peter isn’t my son so they would be cousins. But you guys could consider each other siblings if you really wanted to. It might be nice to have a sister, right Peter?”

“Stop talking.” Peter said in a grave voice as he gripped the table to keep from fainting again.

“Relax guys. It won’t be too weird. You’re basically cousins already.” May said with an innocent smile.

“Oh no. Don’t say that.” You whispered and clutched your stomach.

“I’m gonna throw up.” Peter said through a gag.

“Why?” Happy asked as he narrowed his eyes at Peter.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t you want to be cousins? It’s just you and me on holidays Wouldn’t it be nice to have a bigger family?” May asked Peter.

“Don’t call us “family”, please.” Peter said and gagged again.

“Yeah, no more.” You pleaded. “Not while we’re eating.”

“Are we missing something?” May asked.

“I don’t want her to be my cousin.” Peter grimaced and shook his head.

“Peter. That’s disrespectful.” May scolded him.

“No, it’s okay. I don’t want him to be my cousin either.” You assured her as you wiped some sweat from your forehead. You looked over at Peter and he was just as distraught if you were. He was pale and sweating and extremely close to breaking. You snapped your fingers at him under the table and motioned for him to keep his mouth shut. May and Happy exchanged a suspicion look at the strange behavior in front of them.

“Is there something you guys aren’t telling us?” May asked and leaned on her hand. She stared at Peter, who looked at you in a panic. You shook your head at him, making Happy frown in confusion. He turned to stare at Peter, and that’s what made Peter break.

“I made out with my cousin.” Peter blurted before gasping for air. You groaned and put your head down on the table as May and Happy reacted.

“You what with your what?” May scrunched her nose in disgust.

“You what with my what?” Happy asked and glared Peter.

“Haha. He’s just kidding.” You laughed nervously and waved your hand.

“He better be.” Happy stated without taking his eyes off Peter. Peter was staring all around the room at everything other than Happy.

“This pasta is amazing. Let’s all eat it and stop talking.” You said and shoved some pasta into your mouth.

“It’s a little undercooked.” May commented. “How long did you guys leave it in the water for?”

“Peter?” Happy asked calmly.

“Yes, sir?” Peter answered while looking up at the ceiling.

“Look at me.”

“Yes?” Peter said and looked near Happy, but not at him.

“Peter, look me in the eyes.” Happy commanded. “Right now.”

“I am.” Peter scoffed as he stared at Happy’s ear.

“Not at my ear. My eyes.”

Peter shut his eyes and turned to face Happy head on.

“Open your eyes.” Happy said through clenched teeth. Peter slowly opened one eye, then the other. Happy was glaring at him with a face redder than the sauce May had made.

“Did you make out with my daughter?”

“Which daughter?”

“The one sitting beside you. The only one I have.”

“I don’t understand the question.”

“Let me ask it again then. Did you or did you not make out with my daughter?”

“No.”

“Okay. Good.” Happy nodded in satisfaction.

“She made out with me.” Peter clarified.

“Peter!” You shouted and looked at him.

“You’re a dead man. He’s a dead man.” Happy declared and lunged across the table at Peter.

“Wait! She kissed me! I didn’t kiss her.” Peter defended himself as he scrambled to get out of his chair and run away from Happy.

“You did the second time.” You pointed out.

“Second time? There was a second time?” Happys voice got louder as he chased Peter around the table.

“Daddy, no. Don’t hurt him!” You protested and stood between your dad and Peter.

“Move it, honey. I’m gonna fight him. I’m gonna fight him up real nice.” Happy declared and grabbed the bowl of Italian bread off the table. He started throwing pieces at Peter, but Peter dodged every one.

“Stop dodging my bread!” Happy shouted and threw his last piece.

“Ha! You’re all out of bread.” Peter pointed at the empty bowl before hiding behind you.

“I’ll just have to use my hands.” Happy said and lunged for Peter again.

“Hold on. Step away from my nephew.” May said as she stepped in front of you and held Happy back. Happy stopped trying to attack Peter and caught his breath.

“Happy, you need to calm down.” May told him. “Your daughter isn’t your property. She’s a beautiful young woman. She is allowed to make her own decisions. And that includes deciding who she wants to date.”

“I know that.” Happy sighed. “She just can’t decide on him.”

“Why not, dad?” You asked him.

“For starters, he rented a very inappropriate movie when we were in Germany. No man who respects women would rent a movie called “Grinding Nemo”. I can’t have a guy like that dating my daughter.”

“I was like 15!” Peter whined. “I just bought the first one I found!”

“Grinding Nemo?” You turned and asked Peter.

“It’s like Finding Nemo but instead of fish it was this guy looking for this girls-“

“I don’t even want to know.” You cut him off.

“Happy, you know Peter.” May reminded him. “You know he’ll stop at nothing to protect the people he cares about. She’s in good hands.”

“But why do they have to be his hands?” Happy pointed to Peter and sat back down. You squeezed Peters shoulder before going to sit down beside your dad.

“May is right. You knew I was gonna start dating eventually. And you also know that Peter is a great guy. You should be glad someone like him turned my head. He’s nice, responsible, smart, respectful, and loved by Uncle Tony. So come on, dad. Let me date my cousin.”

“But Tony asked me to look after him. And I don’t always so the best job. I try, but you know he won’t listen if he has his mind set on doing something. God forbid something had ever happened to him….” Happy trailed off and looked down at the ground.

“You’d be letting down the two most important people in your life.” May finished his sentence with a sad smile.

“Its hard for me to remember you’re not a little girl anymore. I thought I would have more time to prepare for this.” Happy admitted. “And I thought Tony would be here to help me. But you’re just growing up so fast. I can’t keep up.”

“We’re both growing up, dad. But we’re doing it together so it’s less scary.” You told him as you put your hands on his shoulders. Happy smiled fondly at you before looking over your shoulder at Peter.

“Do you really like him?” He asked you.

“I do. He listens to me. And he makes me smile.”

“Gross.” Happy gagged.

“Dad.” You whined. “Stop it.”

Happy sighed and looked up at everyone in the apartment. When his eyes landed on Peter, he got up and went over to him. Peter raised his fists in case Happy tried to attack him again, but Happy lowered them.

“Peter, you have my blessing to date my daughter.” Happy said sincerely.

“You have my blessing too.” May spoke up. “But I don’t love the whole cousin aspect.”

“Me either.” You agreed. “Please never get married so we’re never actually cousins.”

“We were never actually talking about marriage. May just said “Aw” during an allergy commercial that showed a wedding.” Happy admitted.

“So we’re good then? We can date without it being incestuous or forbidden?” Peter asked hopefully and wrapped an arm around you.

“I guess so. Just no PDA in front of me, okay? I don’t need to be reminded of this. Ever.” Happy asked and Peter immediately removed his arm.

“No problem, sir.” Peter replied.

“I’m glad that’s settled. Let’s get back to the family dinner.” You smiled and sat back in your seat. Everyone scrunched their face in disgust and you realized your mistake. Calling it a family dinner now that everyone knew you and Peter had kissed and nearly become cousins made everyone a little queasy.

“I, um, I apologize for my choice of words.”

Tag List 🏷️

@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling

@tom-hollands-wifey @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning

@imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101 @peterparkoure

@justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr @emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland

@sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @eridanuswave​ ​

@solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant

@quaksonhehe @lovelessdagger

@thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie @maybemona

@alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom @pandaxnienke

 @officialsimppage e @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours

@freakofmusic25 @tomholland85

@olixerwxxd @whereismytelephone @leilanixx

@so-very-asleep @veryholland @white-wolf1940 @firwproof-blog

@nowayhomeparker @imobsessedzs @spideyspeaches

@spideyspeaches @hihiweezing

@mathletemadison  

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[simplydnp]

be honest with me. what are the chances of a hard launch in june

anon this question goes back years. and the thing is. we have been right once before.

you ask me this this time last year? fuck no. i might even quip that dapg would come back before dnp would hard launch. well. look at us now.

and even then, you look back on the content they started with in the revival--it honestly kind of felt exactly like where we left off, only a lot more explicitly queer (we stan). and then... trying to see without my glasses 2. and bang, spooky week happened. and that shifted the balance. we suddenly got slo-mo replays of handholds. day, after day, after day, finishing with the absolute masterpiece of halloween baking cinnamon rolls. in all honesty it was so much more than i'd've ever expected from them. truly another post-baking universe.

and it never really slowed down. suddenly we had cat prom photos, catboy butlers, catboy dan w/ phil photography credit, theyre 'wrestling' --running us full throttle into gamingmas, the first since 2017. and every day we had a new thing to freak out over: standing close. golf jokes. and then... pinof reacts. i don't know what compelled them to do it but i do have speculations. genuinely, i think they wanted to defang a lot of their history. we treated pinof 1, especially, with this... reverance. and it wasn't talked about too publicly--and dnp didnt do it either. so if they really wanted to move on, to bring down the walls, open the floodgates, define this new era: they had to throw the first stone. and they did. quite heartily too. suddenly this almost taboo part of their history--almost too intimate to be perceived--was on the table. and we were talking about it. joking about it. giving clear signals of 'we see it, it's okay.' and suddenly we existed in a post-pinof reacts world. of anything, i would've never predicted they would've done that. absolutely wild. follow that with it takes two being so chill and fond. incohearant being so blatant and heartfelt. trombone champ being unhinged and chaotic. the genuine and sweet complimenting of each other in the red carpet video. devan wedding... happilyphoreverafter... we crashed forward in time. never knowing what would be next. where is the line? how far will they go.

they teased us with japhan honeymoon and we knew 2024 would be wild. but we didn't know how much. from wdapteo 2023, to specific reminiscing about japan w/ devan, WAD happening, and phil playing a huge role in it all--from the orange carpet hosting, to 'ive been in *sex noises* with phil from the start!', to 'remote crisis manager phil lester', to dan saying he can stay during the thank you.

one of the biggest videos so far this year was the tiktok likes one. i will be forever haunted by the dog eating cheeseburger and willy wonka tiktoks--theres some things i was never meant to know. and yet. they tell us. explicitly.

every single video on amazingphil since the return of dapg has mentioned or featured dan. there's been a palpable shift in the way they interact. have you seen the way phil has been glowing in videos lately? this guy is on cloud nine all the time. it's really not hard to see why.

the energy of keep or yeet w/ dan... the absolute Lack of pretense of it all. phan twitter... watch your step baby girl...

dan and phil fucking crafts. talk about an unexpected return. legacy defining, one might even say. we're still in this tailspin of what everything means and they drop this insanely iconic video on us. from the storytelling to the production to the aesthetic--and its all capped off by explicit handholding. yes, it was part of the sacrifice. but hand in hand, the heart dan ripped from phils chest in one, and the knife that did it in the other... oh boy. we're really in it now. and then they put it on fucking merch. genius. truly no one does it like them.

and the foot has been on the accelerator since. dan and phil connections, shuffleboard & mocktails, getting deep slumber party, acknowledgement & approval of fics (yes previously given but never like this)--hell, even the sims today was wild for 'is their love language horrible banter 👀'.

you didn't ask for an essay but i gave you one. all of this to say, they've been moving the line. quite intentionally so. they intentionally revived their joint branding. they are 'dan and phil' again, and seem happier than ever about it, and i think that means something. they're saying things they never would have before--out of the closet or not.

as for june... 5 years since coming out is a big deal. so is this year being 15 years of dnp. hell, so is this year for being the first out pride month where they're explicitly a duo and regularly making content together. they're sentimental, there will be something.

my craziest idea is reacting to their coming out videos ✌️😔 --but i don't think it'll actually happen. as for more realistic, i could see pride merch. and however that goes will be significant, in my opinion. i'm excited and curious.

i don't know if they'll hard launch. it's hard to put all of the implications, complications, and speculations back into the box once it's opened. dan's talked about it before--wanting to be able to fuck up and not be publically executed, instead, being able to learn and grow and work it out. i think that's a very understandable stance to have. very grounded. we'd have to ask him if tour/dapg has changed that now. i do think he's had some sort of life epiphany--whether it's about that specifically, only he can say. but i think it's there.

even if i portray a lot of level-headedness, i wear my clown nose with pride. sometimes the only option is to go with whatever is funniest at the time. they're both jokesters, so they could commit to a bit like that. but it's also like, it can be too serious for them to want to joke about. i don't know. i think we're in this almost beautiful state right now--the we know you know of it all. there's no expectations, no demands to be met, no obligations of types of content. they're happy. we're happy. it depends on if they feel ready. if they want to. we'll be here, always.

#that is to say. marraige hill is starting to get crowded boys. so if you could. do something about that. thatd be great #im sure there's things ive missed but basically it comes down to this: realistically? maybe. & thats a lot fucking closer than its ever been #theyre having fun. and that means im having fun #dnp #c.text #dan and phil #phan #<- for the fandometrics #answered

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Ready to roll?

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 9

Prompt: No Upside Down AU

Rated: T

CW: one mention of masturbation bc Eddie is a horny little shit

Tags: Future fic; Flirting; Record label owner!Eddie; Waiter!Steve; Steve in rollerblades

Notes: Another collab with the amazingly talented and creative @house-of-the-moving-image - check out their art!

"What?" Eddie says eloquently, tearing his eyes from the laminated menu. 

The waiter is hovering next to his booth, pen tapping against the notepad in his hand. He looks annoyed. Probably pissed at Eddie for interrupting his quiet night shift. Well, tough luck, pretty boy. 

"I said …" the waiter pauses, heaves a brief but heartfelt sigh. "Are you ready to roll?" 

Eddie blinks. 

"Listen, dude!" The waiter says flatly, but there's a blush blossoming on his neck. "I'd ask if I may take your order, but I'm, like, contractually obfuscated to say … this instead. Goes with the theme, y’know?" 

He gestures at the entirety of himself. The cheerfully colored shirt and tiny shorts. The little apron around his waist. The knee-high socks disappearing into a pair of chunky, red-and-white rollerblades, and … oh, right. 

"Well?" 

Eddie snaps his eyes back up and shit, for how long has he been staring at those legs like a creep?

The waiter is scowling at him. He really is pretty. Exactly Eddie’s type. Gold-flecked eyes, stupidly voluminous hair, pink lips twisted into a bitchy little scowl. Eddie imagines pushing him up against the wall on those stupid wheels of his, sucking and biting that scowl right off. 

"Hm," he makes instead. "The guys at the label said I'd enjoy the cake, but I'm starting to think they weren't talking about the menu." 

The scowl deepens. 

"Cheeseburger and fries," Eddie says. "And a strawberry milkshake." 

One elegant eyebrow arches. 

"... Please?" 

Waiter boy smirks at him, a brief flash of perfectly white teeth. Eddie wants to lick them. 

"Coming right up." He jots the order down, shoves pen and notepad into his apron pocket. As he does, Eddie catches a glimpse of the name tag attached to his uniform shirt. (Which has nothing to do with him ogling the way the fabric stretches over that toned chest, because he wasn't doing that, thank you.)

It says "Hi, I'm Steve. :-)"

Wait, what? 

The whirr of rollerblades on the floor tiles jerks him out of his stupor. He's glad he didn't take off his sunglasses, because holy fuck, he must be gawking like an idiot right now. 

Because he knows a guy named Steve. Or knew. 

A guy named Steve with perfect, caramel hair, tan skin littered in moles and an irritatingly pretty, aloof smile. Not that Eddie was ever at the receiving end of that smile. The closest Eddie ever got to him was back in eighty-six, when he was dealing drugs out of his van. In the driveway of that palace in Loch Nora, while the King and his court partied inside. 

Eddie watches how waiter boy comes gliding out of the kitchen, wipes down tables and refills napkin holders. 

It can't be. 

Steve Harrington is back in the hellhole that is Hawkins, Indiana - or maybe at some college halfway across the country, preparing to take over daddy's business. He's most certainly not wearing rollerblades and a pair of stupidly short shorts, waiting tables in a cheap twenty-four hour diner in Seattle. 

Then again, back in eighty-six, who would've thought that Eddie Munson would be owning his own record label one day? 

When waiter boy arrives with his order and leans in to put it down on the table, Eddie peers over his sunglasses to cast an inconspicuous look at his profile. 

There's a pair of moles on his neck, near identical in size, spaced apart like a perfect little vampire bite. 

Well, slap his ass and call him Sally. 

Eddie knows these moles, has spent entire nights jerking off to the thought of sinking his teeth into them. 

"Staring costs extra," Steve mutters at the milkshake. 

Before Eddie can say anything, the phone on the counter rings and Steve rolls over to answer it. Eddie chews on his too-salty fries and can't help the grin that tugs at his lips as he watches the boy twirl the cord around his fingers while taking the order. 

The night just officially got interesting.

Steve looks over, catches him staring and gives him the flattest, most unimpressed look Eddie has ever seen on a person who just realized they were being checked out. The blush has reached his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. Eddie winks and Steve rolls his eyes before he turns his back on him. Eddie doesn’t complain. That ass does look fantastic in the shorts.

He takes his time with the meal. The burger is nothing to write home about, but the view more than makes up for it.

When he is done, he saunters over to the counter, pulling out his wallet. Steve is busy counting mayonnaise packages and muttering under his breath. He blinks in confusion when Eddie slaps down a fifty, starts digging for change in his apron. 

"Nah," Eddie says. "Just keep it." 

Steve frowns at him. "That's way too much." 

"Don't sell yourself short. I thought staring was extra?"

Steve opens his mouth. Hesitates. Closes it. Pockets the money. 

"Thanks," he murmurs, eyes trained at some point behind Eddie's shoulder. "Roll by again."

Eddie just barely manages to turn the incoming snort into a grin.  

"Sure will,” he mutters, leaning across the counter and into the boy’s space. “Maybe I'll try that cake next time." 

"Oh, please," Steve huffs. "As if you could afford me, Munson." 

Eddie feels his jaw drop. "Wait, you knew who-" 

The doorbell chimes. 

"Hi there!" Steve chirps at the guy in the door. "You called, right? I'll check if your order is ready." 

And then he's gone and Eddie is staring at the still swinging kitchen door like an idiot. 

It isn't until he's back out in the dark street that his confusion morphs into something else. His majesty wants to play coy? Well, Eddie can indulge him, can't he? 

He makes his way home with a new spring in his step. Looks like he's found his new favorite dinner spot.

Part 2

All my holiday drabbles

#steddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steve x eddie #steddie brainrot #steddie fanfic #fanfiction writer #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #steddie holiday drabbles #steddieholidaydrabbles #hype's holiday drabbles

[steddieas-shegoes]

sounds like a date

for @steddielovemonth prompt 'love is sharing food' rated g | 743 words | no cw | tags: fluff, established relationship, flirting

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

"Can I have a fry?" Eddie asked with his mouth half full of the last fry he'd stolen off Steve's plate.

"Why didn't you just get your own fries?" Steve asked, handing him a fry from his plate.

"Because I only wanted a couple and you always share with me," Eddie shoved the fry into his mouth.

That was true; Steve always shared his food when they were having their usual date night at the diner. In fact, he pretty much only got fries because he knew Eddie would want some.

He preferred just eating his turkey club sandwich and smiling over at Eddie who always ordered two milkshakes because he could never decide on a flavor, a cheeseburger, onion rings that he complained were soggy every time, and a chef salad for balance.

Eddie never finished his food, or the milkshakes, but he always finished Steve's fries.

So it became an unspoken routine, something Steve wasn't even sure Eddie noticed even after months of doing it. Robin said he was a sap for doing it, but he didn't care.

"How's the chocolate shake?" Steve asked as Eddie dipped another stolen fry into it. "Good with the fries?"

"Yeah, but the strawberry is better. They didn't add extra chocolate syrup this time," Eddie half-pouted, as if he didn't complain about their lack of chocolate in the chocolate shake every time he ordered it.

"Can I have a sip of your Coke?" Eddie asked after another minute of stealing fries from Steve's plate.

Steve wordlessly handed his cup over, surprised it took him this long to ask for it. He usually asked way before he'd even started on the fries.

Eddie, as expected, took a few large sips, almost draining the rest of the drink.

"Why doesn't the waitress ever bring us napkins?" Eddie asked as he set the cup back down in front of Steve.

Steve handed him one of the napkins he'd grabbed from the table they passed on the way to their own. The waitress did always forget to bring them, so Steve prepared.

"You're so good to me," Eddie smirked, brushing his foot against Steve's ankle under the table.

Steve was pretty sure the waitress knew what was going on between them and just hadn't bothered to say anything, and the rest of the diner was empty. Their date night was pretty late, right after Eddie's Hellfire night with the kids that always seemed to go longer and longer. It was damn near midnight now, most of the town in bed, the rest up to no good somewhere else.

It was peaceful, being here with Eddie like this.

It was a look at a future they could have, at least a version of it, though neither of them planned on staying in Hawkins forever.

Steve slid his plate of the few remaining fries over to Eddie and wiped his hands on his napkin. "Finish 'em. I'm done."

"You didn't even eat any," Eddie pointed out before grabbing another one.

"Wasn't that hungry, I guess."

"Mhm," Eddie smirked knowingly, but didn't comment further.

"All set for the bill?" The waitress came by to ask, tapping her pen against the pad of paper. "Who gets it tonight?"

Eddie pointed at Steve, like he did every single week they did this.

Steve took the bill from her hand like he did every single week.

He pulled out his wallet, grabbed the $10 in cash he always kept there for date night, and handed it back to her.

Eddie waited until she walked away to pull out his wallet, grabbing $2 for a tip.

"You know at some point, you may have to actually pay for a date," Steve said as he slipped his jacket on.

"Maybe," Eddie shrugged, like he knew Steve loved paying for their date, made him feel like he could provide. Eddie joked it was his inner caveman. "Maybe I'll just take us on a nice road trip with all this money I'm savin'."

"Oh?" Steve froze.

Eddie looked back at him, beaming smile.

"Yeah. Next month sound good to you? A tour of diners across the midwest. Every night is date night. All my treat," Eddie suggested, like he'd already had this planned for a while. "I'd love to steal your fries in new places, Stevie."

Steve felt himself blushing, somehow always surprised at the lengths Eddie went to to make him feel so loved.

"Sounds like a date."

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddielovemonth #love is sharing food #fluff #established relationship #flirting

[wwilsonbarness]

hello? Mr. Pickle?

pairings:  bucky barnes x reader

summary: Bucky struggles with modern technology, especially autocorrect. 

warnings: none, pure fluff 

word count: 495

a/n: When I was writing i can’t do this anymore my autocorrect changed doll to dill and so this was born - also my first drabble? Huge thanks to @hopelessromantic423 for the title suggestion <33

Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) 

I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.

masterlist 

From across the room you could hear your phone vibrating so you made a mental note to check it once you finish this chapter of your book. It buzzed again and you debated going over to it but you only had two pages left. Then it buzzed 3 more times, straight after each other. This was when you decided it must be important so you got up and started walking over. It buzzed another two times as you walked over and you started to panic, it could’ve been an emergency. When you saw the messages on your screen you couldn’t help but burst into laughter. It was Bucky who was messaging you. 

Buck

I’m just leaving. What do you want for dinner dill?  dill** dill** This stupid fucking phone. DILL** DILL DILL** Fuck sake I’m phoning you 

You only just finish reading the last message when your phone begins to ring and you try to compose your laughter enough to answer. 

“Hey Buck, or should I say Mr Pickle?” 

“Ha Ha.” He replies sarcastically, “I take it you seen my texts. Stupid phone never works.” 

“It’s just not used to your 40’s lingo babe.” You teased, you were always kidding with him about how much of an old man he was. Not in the way of his literal age but the way he lived, he hated using new technology, he hated social media, and you don’t even want to think back on the time you tried to make him watch a reality show. He tried liking all the modern parts of the world but he missed the old days where things were a lot simpler. He was just glad he had you to help him through it. 

“Yeah well it’s lucky I didn’t throw it out the car.” You hear him mumble something along the lines of “piece of crap” and it makes you giggle. “It’s not funny doll.” 

“It’s kinda funny.” 

“I hate you.” He jokes. 

“No you don’t.” You manage to reply through your laughter. 

“You’re right I don’t. So what do you want for dinner?”

You take a second to think, “I’m kinda craving cheeseburgers.” 

“I could do a cheeseburger, I’m near that burger place anyways.” 

“Could you get some fries too? Oh! And a milkshake? The one with the oreo pieces? Please.” He couldn’t see but your pouty lip had come out. 

“Anything you want doll.” 

“Thanks babe, how long do you think you’ll be?”

“Should be like 20 minutes, do you wanna watch something while we eat?” 

“You read my mind! I’ll set it up in time for you coming home.” 

“Okay, won’t be long. Love you.” 

“Love you too.” Bucky’s about to hang up before you quickly start speaking again. “Bucky?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Could you get me extra pickles on my burger?” 

You hear him scoff a little then laugh, “I’m hanging up now.” 

“Byeee.” You trail off until the call ends. You were never gonna let him live this one down.

#untitled #wwilsonbarness #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes #sebastian stan #buckybarnes x y/n #bucky barnes fic #bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x you #marvel #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fluff #fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #drabble #bucky barnes drabble

[stuffedteen]

Get Big

Travis and Dylan were gym bros, obsessed with their perfectly toned bodies. They were all set for their usual workout, except they were clutching "Get Big" protein shakes. A new shake Travis had found in anticipation of some serious gains.

Travis smirked as he gulped down the sweet concoction. "Man, this 'Get Big' shake is gonna make us beasts. I can feel it already!"

Dylan followed suit, drinking it with enthusiasm. "Yeah, Travis, I bet we'll be even more ripped after this. Let's hit the gym hard!"

However, the moment they put their empty shaker bottles down, an odd sensation washed over them. Instead of feeling the usual surge of energy, they felt something peculiar happening within their bodies.

Travis rubbed his temples, perplexed. "Dylan, something doesn't feel right. My head is spinning, and I don't think it's from the pre-workout buzz."

Dylan frowned, sharing his discomfort. "I know what you mean, Travis. I feel kinda... warm, and not in a good way."

Travis scratched his head, suddenly having a bizarre craving. "You know what, dude? I don't feel like hitting the weights right now. I'm starving. How about we grab some burgers instead?"

Dylan, feeling the same inexplicable hunger, eagerly agreed. "Burgers it is, man. I could go for a juicy double cheeseburger right about now."

As they entered a nearby burger joint, Travis couldn't hide his amazement. "Dude, I can't believe I'm craving this. I usually stick to lean protein, but right now, I want all the burgers."

Dylan chuckled, his appetite growing by the second. "I hear you, man. Let's go big or go home!"

Their meal at the burger joint was a feast of epic proportions. They devoured burgers, fries, and shakes with reckless abandon, their appetite seemingly boundless. They exchanged no conversation between bites, the air filled with moans of delight.

Travis, wiping ketchup off his chin, couldn't help but remark, "This is insane, Dylan. I've never felt this hungry in my life."

Dylan, who was busy taking a massive bite of his burger, nodded in agreement. "I know, man. But you know what's even crazier? I'm not complaining. This tastes amazing!"

Their physical changes were becoming more apparent with each bite. Their formerly trim physiques were gradually giving way to softer, rounder forms.

Travis and Dylan were bewildered by the inexplicable changes their bodies were undergoing. Even as they tried to resist their growing desires, it seemed like an impossible battle to win.

Days turned into weeks, and they continued to visit the gym, determined to maintain their well-defined physiques. However, their newfound appetites made it increasingly difficult to stick to their strict workout routines.

Travis grunted as he lifted a barbell, sweat pouring down his forehead. "Dylan, this is getting out of hand. We've got to rein it in, man. Our muscles are disappearing, and we're getting... plump."

Dylan, red-faced from exertion, couldn't agree more. "I know, Travis. But every time I try to resist, I can't stop thinking about burgers, fries, and milkshakes. It's like an itch I can't scratch."

One evening, Travis stood in front of the gym mirror, his once chiseled abs now a distant memory. He sighed, running a hand over his doughy midsection. "I used to be so ripped, man. I can't believe we let a single protein shake ruin all of our hard work."

Dylan, examining his own changing physique, joined in the self-reflection. "I never thought I'd say this, but it's like we're addicted to food, to this... softness. We can't resist it."

The realization hit them hard. Their initial attempts at resistance were futile, as their growing desires for delicious, calorie-laden food and their increasingly soft, plump bodies held them captive.

As they surrendered to their newfound desires, Travis and Dylan's once-trim physiques became distant memories. Their resistance had crumbled, and they embraced their fate as lazy, food-loving bros.

[patolemus]

Sterek fic recs: High School AU Edition

In honor of my conversation with @darling-winnie about same age!Sterek, as well as my promise to @oldefashioned, here are some high school au recs!

1. Double Cherries (And 'Extra' Hoodies) by undercoverbastard

“No, no - wait - don’t tell me,” Stiles suddenly said, leaning forward and grinning at the boy directly on his right, eyes gleaming with joy and mischief as he spoke. “You want… a salmon burger, swiss, with fruit, and a vanilla shake. Eh?”

Derek scowled, shoving his menu at Stiles as he slumped back. “No,” he said plainly. Stiles pouted.

“Too bad! That’s what I’m penning you in for, Eyebrows,” Stiles said, scribbling on his notepad as he stood and began to walk away. Derek huffed, opening his mouth to give Stiles his actual order, but the only word he got out was ‘I’ before Stiles waved him off without even looking back at Derek or down at the notepad, stride unbroken, as he recited:

“Double cheeseburger, half swiss, half cheddar, no pickles, curly fries, side honey mustard, strawberry milkshake, extra thick, double cherries.”

+.+.+

OR: alive hale family, alive claudia, and high school friends stiles/derek - all wrapped into one, based on a joke from a TV show i watched when i was 7, and then got wildly out of control!

Notes: adorable, I love their banter and the conection they have. Alive!Hale family is always such a treasure, and Claudia and Talia's friendship is great here. It's completed.

2. i wanna dance with somebody (who loves me) by bleepobleep

Derek gets in an accident and loses a few years of his memory; suddenly everything is different— he's not a freshman loser anymore, but a popular senior, captain of the basketball team, a shoo-in for prom king, too, and he should have everything he's ever wanted— except he doesn't seem to be friends with Stiles anymore.

Notes: Derek is not having a good time. Pookie just wants to be with his best friend but it turns out they're not best friends anymore and the world doesn't make sense because of it. A little angsty but it all works out. It's completed.

3. Don't Kiss and Tell by Hedwig221b

Paige has finally got the boyfriend she always wanted. The only thing is, said boyfriend doesn't touch her, doesn't kiss her and spends all his time with Stiles Stilinski. You'd think they were dating, or something...

Notes: When I tell you I go feral for this au every single time I read it! Hedwig has the best unhinged obsessive sterek fics and I'll swear on that, don't even try to change my mind. Poor Paige is definitely being led on here, and both Derek and Stiles are assholes in this one, but they're in love and they're completely devoted to each other, so it's okay (I know it doesn't make sense now, but it will. Trust). It's completed.

4. But Then What... by Stoney

Senior year is almost over, and all Stiles needs to do is keep his head down to survive. A teacher calls in a favor, leaving him stuck tutoring Derek Hale, one of the most popular jocks in school and a member of a group of douchecanoes who have bullied Stiles for years. He's someone Stiles totally hates. Totally. Like, doesn't like him even a little bit. DEFINITELY isn't attracted to him.

Except that is a total lie. Fuck his life, seriously.

Notes: Typical Jock/Nerd enemies to lovers only it's Stiles being incredibly paranoid and angsty all of the time lol. They both had me shaking my head because my babies truly don't know how to communicate, but we got there! Eventually. It's completed.

5. Just The Same by foxlavander

Something is seriously up with the captain of the lacrosse team. There's just no way Derek Hale is human. *** “I was wondering if you're even human. You move so quickly. I mean, it's ridiculously fast. No human should be able to move that fast, y'know? It's unfair for us. I mean, it's obvious you work out, and I don't, so that could be why, but like...I was just wondering if you were human, that's all.” “Stop talking, Stilinski, or I'll—” “Put me on the bench all season?” Stiles asks knowing full well that Derek Hale can't threaten him with shit.

Notes: This one is so good. Stiles is onto you, Derek! But seriously, they're so awesome in this one. And Derek bakes and he wants to open up a bakery and it's adorable. I love them and I love the Hales, everything is great. Look out for the werewolf reveal! It's completed.

6. The In Which Stiles Is Secretly Magic series by apocryphal

All Stiles wants from life is to learn to control his magic, keep his grades up, and not die horribly while saving Beacon Hills from supernatural threats. It's all going pretty well until Derek Hale, werewolf extraordinaire, has to go and ask him on a date. That asshole.

Notes: The lore for magic users in here is honestly so good. Love the world building! The Hales are alive in this one as well, which for me is always a plus. A little bit (maybe more than a little bit) angsty but it ends well. There's a few things going on, but basically Stiles is basically Deaton's apprentice and there are Rules(TM) he has to follow as a magic user. He's pretty badass though! The series is technically not finished, but both parts in the series are completed.

7. cheer up, babe by graveltotempo

He was the basketball captain. And he was a cheerleader. Can I make it any more clear? OR: Derek Hale thought he had his crush on Stiles Stilinski under control. And then Stiles decided to show up to school in a skirt.

Notes: Derek spends all 20k words thirsting over Stiles, as he should. Stiles gets to wear a skirt and be generally awesome. They are disgustingly sweet together.

8. Made Your Mark on Me (A Golden Tattoo) by writteninthewolfstar

Beacon Hills High and Lycan Heights High are well-known enemies. Derek Hale, Lycan Heights' star quarter-back, is well-known for being aggressive and arrogant. Imagine Stiles surprise when he discovers that Derek Hale is actually his soul-mate.

Notes: This one is very sweet. There's insecure Stiles and absolutely lovely Derek. It's abo with Omega!Stiles and Alpha!Derek, and it's actually pretty wholesome. Derek is like public enemy number one of BHHS and a jock, Stiles is a loner, and when they turn out to be soulmates they have to navigate what that means for it. It has 13 out of 14 chapters, last updated in March of 2024.

9. too busy being yours to fall for somebody else by whiry

Stiles, worried that Scott may actually leave him behind because of his newfound popularity, is desperate to cling to something away from the drama of Lydia Martin's amazing parties and the woes of high school lacrosse. What he finds is Derek Hale, a guy who seemingly hates Stiles at first, but slowly, and insistently, becomes friends with him. As their friendship grows, Stiles starts to wonder if they could ever become something more or if pushing what they have will lead him to being alone for good.

Notes: Also very sweet! It's strangers to friends to lovers, and Stiles falls out of love with Lydia without even realizing because he's fallen in love with Derek. The Hales are alive in this one, yay! The way sterek bonds over music is also so good! It's completed.

10. Stupid Over You by Wolfspurr

It's a Friday night, and instead of enjoying any of the numerous things he'd rather be doing, Stiles has been roped into dinner with his dad at the Hale's. On the plus side, Derek Hale will be there. On the minus side, Derek Hale will be there, and Stiles already has a hard enough time not making an ass of himself in front of the hottest guy in school. There's no way this can end well.

Notes: Overall amazing fic! Stiles is his oblivious awkward self that we all know and love, Derek is completely smitten with him. All this wrapped up in a dinner with the Hales and the Stilinskis. That's it, that's the fic. It's completed.

11. Six Minutes by CosmoKid

“What do you want?” Derek practically grows when Stiles is near enough to hear. He can definitely feel the werewolf vibes coming from the guy as well as the fuck off vibes that roll off him in tsunami-sized waves. Stiles has one thing he needs to say to Derek, but he also has eight million questions to ask him about the werewolf thing and he can barely sort out his thoughts as it is, let alone when there’s a ridiculously attractive werewolf who’s basically Adonis staring at him. Derek takes another drag of his cigarette and raises his eyebrows at Stiles expectantly. He shivers and blurts out, “Six minutes.” That makes Derek smirk, but it’s so condescending that even Harris would be impressed. “No offense, Kitten,” Derek starts and Stiles just narrows his eyes at the nickname. Derek keeps his eyes trained on Stiles as if to dare him to challenge the nickname. Stiles bites his tongue and resists it. “But you’re not really my type.”

Notes: This is not your typical high school au, but it's a nice change of pace. It's got werewolves, which we love, and bad boy Derek. Stiles stood no chances lol. It's completed.

12. The covalent bonds series by HaldFizzbin

Awkward Nerd Derek has been crushing on Handsome Jock Stiles since forever—so getting paired with him on a Chemistry project is definitely the best/worst thing that's ever happened to him.

Notes: I went on a little Nerd!Derek and Jock!Stiles fixation the other day so here we have it. Derek is awkward and funny and insecure and we love him. Stiles is Stiles, and he's awesome. The series is not finished, but all the parts of the series are complete.

13. It's Always Been You, Dumbass by stilinskisparkles

“Alright, cool, we should go,” Stiles says breezily, dusting off his hands as he stands. “We should?” “Yeah!” “But… Do you even care about photography?” “Not as much as I should,” Stiles plants both his hands on the table, bracketing Derek in, “You’ll have to correct my miscreant ways.”

Notes: Stiles is helplessly pining, Derek is painfully oblivious and the absolute last to find out. Somehow, they still go on like three dates together. It's pretty great, and it's completed.

14. can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time? by whirl

There's something strange about Beacon Hills. Stiles can't really put his finger on it, but the way certain classmates look at him at school and the way certain adults look at him in the grocery store has him curious. And it's not the sort of pitying looks that his mom's coworkers used to give him, but these ones are longer, more searching, like they're looking for something. Not to mention the weird noises that sometimes come from the woods when he runs, too human to be animal and too animal to be human. Plus the way the Hales have seemed to sequester themselves to the wild and give Stiles serious Cullen family vibes. But Stiles, like everyone else apparently, ignores it. Until it becomes too great to ignore and he has to investigate for himself and find out what is actually going on in Beacon Hills. +++ Or, the one where Stiles and Derek meet, hate each other, slowly get to know one another, and fall totally head over heels for each other all while avoiding curious classmates, an angry ex-girlfriend, and, oh yeah, imminent death.

Notes: This one is kinda crazy but in a good way! It's 120k words long so be prepared for that, and Stiles finds out about werewolves. Derek, pookie, I'm rooting for you all the way! Also Cora, my beloved. I adore her. Stiles is pretty confused all the time for a while there. It's completed.

15. scary stories and roasted goods by graveltotempo

“I have more, you know?” grumbled Jackson, clearing his throat. “Okay, fine. Here’s another; a man goes is staying at a hotel for the weekend. On his way to his room, he notices a door with no number on it-” “An albino woman with white skin and red eyes committed suicide in that room years ago,” finished Erica, inspecting her nails with a smirk. “We know that too.” “A babysitter goes to put two children to sleep in their room and notices a large creepy clown statue in the corner-” he tried again. “Get out of the house, we don’t have a clown statue,” said Allison, tried to hide a laugh at the flustered expression on Jackson’s face. “Two roommates in a room. Sarah says that she wants to go to a party and Mary wants to stay home-” “Aren’t you glad you didn’t turn the lights on?” said Derek, and Stiles laughed, looking at him with sparkling eyes. OR the cheerleading squad, the lacrosse team and the basketball team go camping.

Notes: Another cheerleader!Stiles and Jock!Derek. I love them your honor. It's all very sweet and Derek pines as he ought to do lol. Don't worry, there's light at the end of the tunnel. It's completed.

That's all I have for this one. I probably have more in my TBR but I guess we'll find out. If I ever get there. My sterek TBR only ever grows and I never seem to be able to finish fics as fast as I find them lol. Hope you guys like these!

#I love high school aus #they give me life #love it when their biggest worry is passing their classes and going out on dates #and not whether or not the monster of the week is going to eat them #high school au #sterek #fic recs #sterek fic recs #ao3 #stiles stilinski #derek hale #eternal sterel #eternalsterek #teen wolf

[weebsinstash]

What do you MEAN the early access episodes of hazbin hotel are pre-orders that were limited quality and are sold out now?? 😫 you can't dangle something in front of my face and then take it away and tell me I have to wait 😫

Even that Vox vs Alastor song I linked before is hard to find on YouTube! Spindlehorse (totally justifibly i mean) is being really aggressive taking down clips people are making and uploading and I'm getting CRUMBS of these episodes and my impatient ass can't take it

I know I've been, you know, thirsting for Valentino but, now that we've seen more of him.... VOX THOUGH! The charisma! The panache! The style! The BEEFING with Alastor!

It's kinda too old for me to go searching for the link (someone found it for me, mid pencil art alert lol) but now I'm thinking of that one idea I had in the past where Val and Vox meet you in a bar/club and start bonding and thinking you're actually pretty interesting and you eventually pepper in these "my boyfriend doesn't let me-" kind of statements, and they're both, jealous af, but, you know. Don't wanna rock the boat and chase you off! So they kinda just keep hearing all these details, "oh, my boyfriend doesn't like me going to these kinds of places, I have to lie to him" "oh, you know, hubby doesn't like me drinking, so I have to sneak around" "ugh, my baby never wants to have fun like this"

I just picture now it evolving into a plot where you're fucking sick of your old fashioned BORING boyfriend who won't let you break up with him, literally you tell him you're done with him and he keeps showing up saying you're together, won't let you out from under his thumb, and you finally sidle up to Vox, "listen dude, I'll be real with you: I think we can help each other out"

I just see Reader doing the most petty shit because you want this stag GONE and you're full of anger and spite. Alastor is walking down the sidewalk thinking you're like, at book club with the gals, and suddenly he walks by a TV on display and here's Vox, "- and here with us in the station today is a very special guest-" and THERE YOU ARE, getting interviewed about being the partner of the Radio Demon!

"So, toots, what's it like, shackin up with Alastor?"

"Oh, you mean what is YEARS of no sex, no TV, no video games, and no weed like? I'd kill myself but I kinda already did that!"

"What, you mean you don't like dating some limp dick old timey FUCK?"

"Not as much as I've liked hanging out with you ;)"

All the radios in town are blaring deafening ANGRY static for hours while you and Vox are getting high and eating cheeseburgers and playing Monster Hunter somewhere while Valentino thinks about "acquiring you" as a little ~companion~ for his man (and maybe himself) right here and now since you two are already so cute together ❤️ I mean, they were already gonna scoop you up anyways, so he might as well rush the process, right?

#yandere hazbin hotel #yandere x reader #vox x reader #sinprompts

[two-facedgod]

Reasons NOT to give up on earthly existence

Music. C'mon. You've got everything from Nine Inch Nails to Lady Gaga to The Beatles to Cocteau Twins to Infected Mushroom, etc. yadda-yadda-yadda. Ever put on your headphones while on the bus and pretend you're in a music video?

Dogs? Dogs.

No, but, seriously. Having an animal companion with a wet nose and wide, innocent eyes is the best. Hell, I'll take scaly with a forked tongue or eight legs and furry. Animals are the best.

Sunsets, but perhaps even better, sunrises. I know waking up early sucks but you've gotta check out the sunrise every now and then. I like to say goodbye to the morning star sometimes.

Food. Last night I had white almond cake with buttercream frosting and it was THE BOMB DOT COM. But also sushi, pizza, poke bowls, vegetable stew? Chicken and dumplings, cheeseburgers, gyoza? Wash your hands, dry them with your feathers, and eat something good.

Going on long car rides with the windows down and the radio cranked up. Go alone. Go with friends. Drive downtown. Drive through the rural hills and valleys. Have a destination. Go everywhere and nowhere in particular. Just get in the car and go.

Self-expression. You can do what you want. Listen to your favorite music, wear jewelry that matches your kintype or socks with your favorite animal on them, paint your nails any color you like - just go crazy. Be yourself.

Sleep. Our strange dreams guide us. There's nothing better than waking up on a cool morning swaddled in a blanket, so comfortable you don't want to move.

The weather. Some days rain falls from a sunny sky. Sometimes purple lightning streaks across the night sky for hours without a single raindrop. Sometimes the sky is a heartbreaking shade of blue, and sometimes, right before a tornado touches down, that sky is a sickly sort of green. Every day is different. No sky is ever painted the same.

#spirit mutterings #the void speaks #otherkin #kin #therianthropy #therian #angelkin #fallen angelkin #faekin #fae kin #demonkin #divinekin #godkin #actually angelic #deitykin #wolf kin #wolf therian #alterhuman #nonhuman #otherkin positivity

[melanieph321]

SEVEN DAYS OF REQUESTS 2.0

(DAY 7)

Ruben Dias x Reader - Yours To Keep

I love jealous Ruben 😩

Where Ruben becomes terribly jealous after a guy flirts with reader without her knowledge.

Enjoy!

You had cravings. Many of them. You craved anything sweet, sour, salty and spicy. And if it came in Supersize you craved that too. But since you started dating Ruben you often hesitated giving into these cravings. Not because you were ashamed of them but because you were respectful of Ruben's healthy lifestyle choices and didn't mind living up to them as well.

Lately, however, your cravings had started to increase. You suspected that your period was on the way, but when it failed to arrive on time, you had no other choice than to allow yourself a little treat. Luckily, Ruben understood your needs as a woman and, like a gentleman, offered to pay for your monthly binge.

"Hey, can I get a double cheeseburger with fries, please?"

You arrived at your nearest McDonald's and skipped towards the counter to place your order. Ruben followed closely behind you, like the walking wallet that he was.

"Sure, anything for you, love. Would you like to order a dipping sauce to go with those fries?"

"I thought it came with a dipping sauce?"

The guy taking your order looked to be in his early twenties. He had jet black hair and blue eyes, a very unique genetic combination.

"Not really, we charge extra for that, but for you darling...." A wink. "It's on the house."

"Oh, that's very kind of you." You blushed. "Ruben, would you like to order anything?"

"No."

You turned to him. "But you said you could eat?"

He shrugged his shoulders, hands shoved deep into his pockets. "What can I say," He said, clenching his jaw. "I lost my appetite."

"Alright." You turned back to the guy behind the counter. "That'll be all, thanks."

"Cool, one double cheeseburger menu for the girl with the beautiful smile."

You were excited. A little too excited to be honest. You couldn't wait to get home to enjoy your food and started nibbling on your fries in the middle of the road. You would have gotten a taste of you burger too if it hadn't been for Ruben, refusing to wait up for you as he walked ahead.

"Baby slow down," You said. "You're walking too fast."

Ruben, however, kept on walking ahead of you with obnoxiously long strides.

"Ruben?"

"Well hurry up then?"

You paused.

Ruben turned around and noticed the distance between you. What's worse is that he let out an eye rolling sigh before making his way back to you, offering you his hand. "Alright, let's go."

You took his hand but couldn't shake the feeling that you had done something to upset him. All was forgotten, however, when you arrived back to Ruben's apparment and he took the opportunity to hop in the shower while you plotted down in the living room, making yourself a spread of your food, enjoying it in front of the TV.

After devouring your meal, you couldn't help but wonder why it took so long for Ruben to join you.

"Baby?"

You got up and started searching for him.

"Ruben, where are...you."

You found him in the bedroom, on the bed, with his legs extended as he scrolled through his phone.

"Aren't you joining me?"

Ruben looked up from his screen and noticed you standing in the door. "Have you finished eating?"

"Yes, why?"

"I bet you enjoyed it." He muttered.

"Right...." You entered the room and made your way over to the bed, taking a seat.  "Clearly something is bothering you Ruben and you haven't told me what."

"Nothing's bothering me." He chirped, although his eyes refused to meet yours, returning to his phone.

"Right. So if nothing is bothering you why can't you join me for a movie night like you said you would?"

Ruben sighed as he put down his phone. "What can I say Y/N, I'm not in the mood anymore. It happens."

"Yes, but not twice in one night."

"Huh?"

"First, you say you've lost your appetite and make me order all of that food for myself. Then you snap at me in the street for enjoying the food, and now you want to skip our movie night like we hadn't planned for it all week. If you want to break up with me, just say it to my face, Ruben. Don't try to push me away."

It was as if time froze momentarily, capturing the intensity of what you just said. Once it thawed, Ruben looked to batt out of his foul mood, a frightened look in his eyes. "Y/N, I..."

"God, with all your mood swings, it's like you're the pregnant one, not me."

"I...what?"

Your eyes winded, regretting blurring that out. "I'm....not...or I'm not sure. But I'm late." You nodded.

"Late?" Ruben looked to just have seen a ghost passing by.

You nodded. "My period is late and I've been having cravings." Ruben looked to protest. "Not like my usual cravings." You added.

He made his way towards you, reaching for your face as if to inspect it. However, Ruben's hand only went to dry a fallen tear. You had failed to notice that you were crying.

"Is it mine."

"The baby?"

"Yes?"

"Of course the baby is yours, Ruben. Who else would it be?"

"I don't know, perhaps that guy from McDonald's..."

"I knew it!" You exclaimed. "I fucking knew it."

Ruben looked confused. "What?"

"You were jealous of that guy, weren't you?"

"W...what, no? What guy?"

"Don't play dumb with me now Ruben.  Admit it. You were jealous of that guy working at McDonald's."

"Why would I be?" Ruben pouted. "I bet he hands out free dipping sauces to every girl with a beautiful smile."

"How tragic." You smirked. "I never knew you to be the jealous type. It really doesn't suit you, you know."

"I am not..."

You squealed as you were tackled onto the matress, Ruben pinning you down with all his weight. You laughed in his ear as he nibbled your throat. "Tell me Y/N, why would I be jealous of some guy working at McDonald's when you're having my baby, huh? Answer that question for me....

You stiffened below him.

"Y/N?" Ruben immediately sensed it and pushed himself off you, giving you the space. "Are you okay?" He asked, looking down.

"I haven't decided yet...."

"Decided what?"

You sat up. "I haven't decided if I should keep it, the baby."

Ruben frowned. "Why wouldn't you?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

Ruben shrugged. "Why not? I'm keeping you. If that comes with a baby, so be it."

You were speechless, more so because the way Ruben was acting today, being jealous of such a silly thing like a McDonald's dipping sauce, told you that the guy was really into you. It brought assurance that you didn't know you needed.

"Y/N, you okay?"

Just like that, he was there again, Ruben, reaching for your face, wiping unwanted tears.

You smiled.  "Then I guess I'm yours to keep."

#fanfiction #football imagine #footballer x reader #footballer imagine #football angst #ruben dias #man city #manchester city #ruben dias x reader #ruben dias imagine #seven days of requests