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#I have the energy to get out of bed but I can't focus it on anything
teobug · 4 months
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oooh the med switching. is making me want to chew on nails. it is Not Good.
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kissyboystyles · 3 months
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...
#don't mind me using this old blog to just speak for a minute#personal post time!!#i've started having anxiety attacks at work#and they're kinda brutal and i can feel my threshold getting lower and lower#because i never REALLY fix the problem that is causing them#i just have enough catharsis that gets my brain back on track for a little and then it builds up again#and then i crash again and again and again for like three hours straight#i am thinking about work tomorrow and i'm just already hoping#i don't know i hope i wake up with SOMETHING worthy of calling out sick or like. being able to say uncle#every day at work is torture not because of any other reason but i CAN'T focus because i'm overwhelmed#and i'm overwhelmed bc i feel like my tasks are just NOT being done fast enough (bc i can't focus)#and to know i can't stay late because i have to get myself fed and then start on my other job so i can get in bed#and then try to have some time to myself before i have to start all over again#and even on a good day i only get 4 hours of sleep so what's the point#i don't know what to do because i'm too Beaten Down to even have the energy to think or make a decision#i feel like i don't have the Time to think#i have to be Focused On Something at all times because there's always something i could be doing#and if i spend time to do anything (me time at the end of the day) that's just wasting time i need to sleep to be alert to do more work#... so yeah i'm starting to have anxiety attacks or stress something idk but i'm not doing Great#del
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starrystevie · 10 months
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it was all supposed to be a dumb joke.
the boys had been sitting around after rehearsal one night passing a bowl and more than a few beers, laughing about how unsuccessful the newest music based social media app would be. mere seconds of songs looping over and over with other songs mixed in would never work, especially for corroded coffin where the story, the buildup of their songs was part of the reason to listen.
it all started with jeff, grinning slowly ear to ear. "what if were to get in there and take some celebrity's name for a user name? like paris hilton or something."
then it moved to gareth, who paused with a scrunched up face. "dude, paris hilton? what the fuck kind of reference is that..."
then it was over to greg, choking on a smoke-laced laugh. "yeah, it'd be funnier if it was eddie's pop prince loverboy instead."
that got everyone's attention. eddie had protested to ears that didn't want to hear it as they cackled in their studio that they rented by the hour, bent over in their rolling chairs, leaning against the side of the mixing board for support.
"loverboy?! you know i can't stand steve harrington and his bullshit lyrics, what the fuck kind of suggestion is that..."
but come the next day, when the weed had left his system and his veins were alcohol-free, eddie stared at the mixr app home screen and the blinking red circle over his inbox with disdain after successfully acquiring a user name he never would have picked for himself.
'steveharrington', eddie's account says, along with an icon of himself and his tongue out.
if it hadn't been for being less than sober when the app dropped. if it hadn't been for his best friends egging him on with taunts and jeers and kissy noises and less than sincere dreamy calls of 'oh steve' in the background. if it hadn't been for the way that eddie secretly did think about a certain head of floppy hair and soft brown eyes and shoulders littered with constellations.
if it hadn't been for all of that he wouldn't have had the chance to have his celebrity crush, the steve harrington, in his inbox at 8am on a random tuesday morning.
"good morning!" the message says simply enough. eddie stares at the words, trying to process what they mean, looking at the verified username of 'steveharrington1' next to an icon of his most recent album along with it. his inbox is flooded with people all asking him random things, thinking he's the real steve harrington, but this one verified account has him shaking.
for all that eddie is, all big hair and black jeans and skull rings and leather, he's still a man. a man who can look at a pop star, annoying as their music may be, and see charm. he can see attractiveness. he can see that smile that steve harrington has perfected behind his eyelids and he can see them strolling off into the sunset together hand in hand and he can see steve all flushed and breathing heavily underneath him on a mountain of plush pillows and he can see-
the message pings again with a new addition. "i know this seems weird and my team advised against it but i'd really like your user name of... well, my name."
eddie blinks slowly. he pictures steve maybe laying in bed, maybe sitting at the breakfast table with a cup of coffee, with his phone in his hand as he types out a message to him. to think that steve has any idea about him existing on any sort of level is doing his head in. his heartbeat races a little faster as he types back with shaky hands and a pit in his stomach.
"is this real?" is all he can type out, leaning against the kitchen counter as he waits for his coffee to brew.
three dots pull up on the app screen before disappearing and eddie pulls his lip in between his teeth to focus his energy elsewhere. he tears his eyes away from his phone and looks out the window to watch the people out for their morning walks. he's just about to the point where he thinks about maybe taking up walking if nothing else to get all the pent up energy out of him when the app dings again. as he looks back, his heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach.
it's a photo of steve that can't have been released before. he's sitting outside in bright sunshine with sunglasses on, tousled hair and grin on his face. he's holding his hand up in a thumbs up and eddie can see the remnants of cream cheese on the side of his index finger.
he sucks in a stuttering breath through his teeth, trying to force his lungs to breath again. the dots pop up on screen once more and the message that comes through is instantaneous.
"real enough for you?" it reads. and then an additional message is tacked on. "need me to hold up a newspaper with the date on it?"
there's a winky face that follows and it feels fake even though it's very real. this whole morning feels wrong, unreal. he's just eddie munson, some singer in some halfway popular band in some kind of shitty neighborhood in los angeles that just happens to have not just some pop star in his dms. this doesn't happen to him.
"why did your team tell you not to message me? does my reputation precede me?"
eddie pulls his hand up to his mouth to bite at the side of his fingernail, watching the screen with rapt attention and waiting for the typing dots to disappear.
"according to this account your name is steve harrington and yes, i'd say his reputation does precede him."
eddie barks out a laugh, not exactly expecting that.
he didn't know what he was expecting out of any of this. he thought that it might help get the corroded coffin name out more if he got tangled up somehow with the steve harrington name. spark a little bit of drama to boost their visibility. but now here he is, talking to the man himself, cracking jokes and trying not to hyperventilate.
"how were you able to get this name so fast anyway? my team was on it right when the app dropped last night."
"i had the power of bandmates and weed on my side," he types back, side of his mouth quirking up into a smile.
"oh so you're a musician? maybe i should be looking into your reputation then, mystery person."
eddie pauses and thinks about every option. he is semi-known in the metal scene, his outlandish stunts on stage and political speeches at shows that garner them becoming an almost brand for him. if he tells steve who he is, would he know? care? run away from the scary guy who may or may not use stage blood in every music video?
but the thing is, he's not a scary guy and he never has been. he might be a little intimidating and he guesses that's the armor he puts on everyday after being bullied in school but it's not an accurate showing of who he is. eddie is sweet, funny, kind of smart in that has random fun facts about dungeons and dragons kind of way.
and he wants the steve harrington to know that guy.
eddie flips over at his middle so his head is nearly touching the floor and ruffles his hair, giving it volume and calming down the frizz that comes from sleep. he shakes it out of his face once he's upright and grabs his garfield coffee mug if only to have something to do with his hands. grabbing his phone off the counter, he opens the camera option in their message thread and snaps a quick picture of himself grinning, mug next to his face with a matching cat-like smirk. he nervously presses send before he can even think about all the flaws with it.
"eddie munson at your service," is what he types out with a saluting emoji and a muttered prayer to whoever would listen to him that things don't end horribly.
it's not like he's expecting to sweep steve off his feet. he knows that steve has picture perfect partners, he sees enough internet news to know that gruff and dark isn't the kind of guy he normally goes for. but he looks back at the photo he sent and hopes that steve sees the kindness in his eyes, the scruff on his jawline that makes it look just the smallest bit chiseled, the whimsy and life that he embodies that comes from a tacky coffee cup.
there isn't an automatic answer and it makes whatever hope eddie has floating around his system falter. ''at this point you've probably searched me and i can reassure you, i'm not actually a vampire like google seems to think i am."
"holy shit."
it's short, two words followed by typing dots that disappear, reappear, disappear once more before reappearing for the last time.
"would you believe me if i told you that i am huge fan??"
choking on coffee hurts, eddie finds out. he coughs as the hot liquid goes down the wrong pipe and concentrates on the messages once he gets his bearings back. steve, the steve harrington, a fan of his? it's a prank, it has to be, there is no way that steve harrington-
"one of my exes took me to your show at the bowl and it quite possibly changed my life. you gave that speech about the pipeline before the encore and i went home and bought every single one of your albums that same night."
he's dead. the papers will read 'eddie munson found dead in his home in a ratty metallica shirt holding onto a garfield coffee mug and cellphone open to a chat where steve harrington tells him he's a fan of his work'. it's the only way that this is possibly happening. he's died and gone to whatever fucked up version of heaven has him still living in his shitty la apartment.
"are you fucking kidding me?" is what he types back, slamming his coffee mug onto the counter to have access to both hands. "you've heard my stuff?"
and then it happens, like out of a shitty teenage rom-com, his phone is lighting up with an in-app call from steve harrington. the steve harrington. careful not to drop his phone in his hurried movements, he presses accept faster than he thinks his fingers have every worked.
"hello?" he questions into the phone and there's no hello back, just steve apparently freaking out as much as he is.
"i hope this is okay," he says and god, does his voice sound wonderful over the phone like this. "but it's faster and i have too many things to say that typing it all out would be stupid."
eddie grins and his feet tap against the ground like an excited kid. "it's fine, i uhm... i get it. god, this is weird."
steve hums in agreement before laughing. and oh, that laugh. it has eddie floating up to cloud nine, heart thumping painfully in his chest, butterflies beating their wings wildly in his stomach.
"yeah, it's definitely not how i expected this morning to go. talking to eddie munson, wow."
"sure," eddie snorts, "you talk to celebrities all the time, i'm sure this is small fish for you."
he hears steve laugh again, soft and gentle, like it's meant just for eddie. "i might talk to celebrities all the times but not ones that i have posters on my wall of like a pre-teen. i'm properly geeking out right now."
eddie short circuits. that's the only way to explain the way his body shuts down as he slumps into an armchair in the living room.
"you, steve harrington, have posters of me on your bedroom wall?" eddie's mouth feels dry as he talks and regrets making coffee at all because he's wide awake now and feels jittery.
"well okay, to be fair, it's of the whole band and it's in my studio but you are shirtless so i contemplated putting it in my bedroom." something shifts on the other end of the line and it sounds like steve sitting down. there's birds chirping in the background and eddie closes his eyes to picture himself sitting with steve on a patio instead of in his dingy apartment.
"you're gonna give me big head, pretty boy." the pet name slips out before he can stop it and the pitch of his voice lowering is out of his control. eddie can't be held responsible for his actions at 8am especially when he's flirting over the phone with his celebrity crush.
"pretty boy, hmm?" steve murmurs back. "so does that mean you have posters of me too?"
the timbre of his voice shoots from eddie's ears all the way down to his toes, lighting his veins on fire as it travels down his body. the hopeful part of his brain supplies an image of steve smirking, relaxing in a pool chair outside of what must be a mansion, phone in one hand and cup of coffee in the other. it could be domestic, if eddie thinks about it hard enough. if he wants it enough.
and god, does he want that. domestic bliss with steve harrington.
"well i wouldn't exactly call picturing you in my dreams every night posters, but it's close enough i guess."
it's gutsy, it's brash, it's too forward for a tuesday morning but steve started it. he hears a shaky exhale on the other end of the line and lets out a chuckle. it feels like they're playing chess and there's no clear cut winner quite yet but if the match ends in a tie, eddie can't exactly say he'd be upset about it.
"i tell you what," steve says in an almost airy voice. "in exchange for giving me my user name, i'll give you my number and you can use it to see me in something other than your dreams tonight."
"...are you bribing me, harrington?"
"is it working?"
eddie takes in a deep breath and thinks about what possible plans he could have with the username 'steveharrington' that would amount to something better than taking the man himself out on a date with his phone number saved as a contact in his phone. he'd put a heart next to it and everything.
"of course it is."
the call drops away and it's quick enough for eddie to think everything that happened in the last 30 minutes could have been a fever dream but then there's three dots on the message thread and his hopeful heart starts to kick back into gear.
"213-555-5469. let me know when you've given up that username and i'll let you know when to pick me up. it's a win-win all around. turns out we each get to go a date with our celebrity crushes, how lucky is that?"
it's signed with a kissing face emoji and eddie's glad that he's sitting down when the last picture steve sends comes through. he's grinning in a way eddie's never seen before, blush high on his cheeks, sweaty shoulders and collarbones and pecs glinting in the early morning sun, and eddie thinks it's probably too early to be in love with someone but he's well on his way.
he texts the number he's sent without hesitation and without shaking hands this time. he signs the message with a black heart like it's a signature of it's own.
"lucky indeed."
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itsfairly · 2 months
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if no one is going to talk about nanami's suspenders, i will.
nanami dresses really professionally, who else is going to wear a suit when going to fight curses? but it's the way he dresses professionally that it's interesting. sure, the colors on his suit aren't the most common combination to see in an office job, but when you focus on the pieces, you can tell he puts an effort into looking that way. slacks ironed right in the middle to get that prominent line, how he always makes sure to shine his shoes before they become too dull, and then his suspenders...god, you still remember the first he took them off in front of you.
you see, his suit can be pretty deceiving, hiding all his body underneath it. not just skin, but also build. so its no surprise if some things get tight around his body. Some things being said suspenders.
once the blazer was off and nanami placed his cleaver away, he sat on the bed with his back facing you as he unclasped the clips of his suspenders, the small click-click getting your attention from your phone as you stole a quick glance at him. you didn't thought much of it at first until you hear a quiet, but very noticeable in the silent room, groan as he slipped the garment off, making your heart skip a beat.
from there on, you continued to enjoy the view in silence, mentally thanking that his back was facing you and he wouldn't notice you staring. his shirt was the next to go, agonizingly slow as he worked through the buttons with the little energy he had from his mission today. but once unbuttoned, nanami took the shirt off and you felt your heart make its presence to you once more as it beat faster and faster. not because more skin was exposed to you, but because you understood why it was his suspenders that made him groan.
they were tight around his body, and after a day's work, they had left marks behind.
you dont know why the sight captivated you so badly. i mean, he wore something so elegant to work, something other people wouldn't wear given his line of work, something that probably left his skin sore. but god, you would be lying his seeing those marks didn't spark something in you.
but now, the backseat to this sight didn't satisfy you enough, so you stood up, walking to the other side of the room to steal a glance or two under the pretense of getting a sweater. if his back was a sight, the front was just as much. the x shape on his back extended over to his shoulder, draping the marks down his chest in two lines until they ended on both his sides. it was hard to play off the glances, having to remind yourself that you shouldn't be too obvious as you turned to your closet and search for your excuse (a sweater).
in a weird way, those marks were almost erotic, reminding you that nanami is much more muscular than his clothes make him seen. after all, just how tight (and how long) those suspenders could be if they left such marks? you just wanted to trace them with your fingers, letting the marks dictate where you would caress, feeling the slight dents in his skin as you soothed them over with your lips as you kissed over them, hearing him sigh and groan the more you went south until you...
"something wrong?" nanami asked, snapping you out of your thoughts as you turned your head to look at him.
"just choosing a sweater. i got chilly," you smiled at him, taking whatever sweater as quickly slipping it on.
nanami, to your dismay, had already changed out of his clothes and into his sweatpants, hiding away those marks that had caught your attention so quickly. he stood up from the bed, coming behind you and wrapping his arms around you with a chuckle.
"my darling is cold? i can't have that, you know?" he said, rubbing your sides affectionately to warm you up, not that he needed to when you were already quite hot and bothered now. "i can make you some tea if you want."
you chuckled, ignoring his hands on you (otherwise you would push him onto the bed when his body was probably too sore for that). turning around to face him, you place your hands on his shoulders to try and sneak a touch over where his suspenders would be, making you feel that anticipation was your hands roam down to rest on his chest as if you were already following along his marks.
"sounds nice, love," you nod, letting him taking your hand and guiding you to the kitchen.
maybe next time you would get a chance to feel those marks. this time, skin to skin. even better, take off those suspenders yourself.
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subbmissivesuccubus · 2 months
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Cute aggression
Your boyfriend has a weird habit of being aggressively loving. He'll hug you so tight, sometimes you'll have to tap his arm so you can breathe. He pinches your cheeks with his fingers, cooing at you as he pulls at them playfully and laughs as you whine from the pain. When you cuddle in bed, he'll pull you in super tightly, wrapping both his arms and legs around you before snuggling his face into your hair, letting out a loud 'Mmmmmmm~' sound as he did so. Sometimes, he'll bury his face against your chest, snuggling deep into your cleavage, shaking his head back and forth as he enjoys the sensation of your soft flesh surrounding him.
"Who's my baby? Who's my sweet, adorable little baby? You are! Yes you are!" he'll coo before he smushes you chubby cheeks between his hands as he leans down to kiss your now pouting lips. He also bites you. Like a lot. He'll gently chomp down on your chubby cheeks, your ears, your thighs, your ass cheeks- honestly anywhere he can get his mouth on, he starts biting.
He gets carried away at times and even coddles you in front of his friends, using the baby voice as he kisses you or asks you a question. "Does baby want a new pwetty dress? Hmm? Something cute for my cute baby. Why are you blushing so much? Oh, the others heard me. Don't worry about them, sweetiepie. Focus on me."
It feels like there's a massive amount of energy inside of him that comes out when he can be aggressive with you. He doesn't hurt you, far from it, but it can take you by surprise when he will randomly pick you up just so he can hug you, making your wrap your legs around him tightly as he embraces you.
And of course, this aggression even comes out in the bedroom. He'll shush you as you cry from his spankings. He'll spend ages between your legs just because he can't bare to be apart from your kitty. He'll suckle on your nipples and call you his good little baby while he does. His favorite position is missionary just because he can easily fuck you, look at you and coddle you all at once.
"Baby! Of fuck- your sweet pussy is squeeeezing my cock! Relax cutie- ah- ah- yes- fucking love this cunt!"
"Hold me tighter- come on- really pull me in. That's it- just like that- oh baaaaby!"
"You want me to- fuck- slow down? It's ok baby, you can take it."
His other favorite is prone bone, just because he can put all of his weight on you and fuck you silly as his forearm is pressed against your neck, choking you perfectly.
"Oh, poor baby~ Am I choking you too hard? Your face is all red!"
"Yes baby, you can cum again. Cum all over my fucking cock!"
It was only through a random conversation with friends that you found out what cute aggression was and suddenly, it all made sense! You explained it to him and all he did was laugh, pulling you in for a hug as you swatted at him, not really mad.
"You're treating me like I'm a puppy!" you said, huffing as he started peppering your face with kisses.
"Well, you are my pet~"
Bokuto, Kuroo, Gojo, Yuuji, Shanks, Ace, Sabo, Uzui, Douma, Kaeya, Childe, Wriothesley.
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littleseasiren · 8 months
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Hypothetically speaking
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Summary: Hypothetically speaking, Bucky Barnes is the perfect man. You have a list that proves it. What happens when someone overhears you telling Natasha about it?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
Warnings: None, just fluff
Words: A drabble at 800 words
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"All I'm saying is, hypothetically, Bucky is the perfect boyfriend," you whisper to Natasha over the kitchen table. 
"And why do you think that?"  Her green eyes stare past you, making you nervous for a second before her gaze meets yours. "Hypothetically speaking, of course." Natasha knew how you felt about Bucky but humoured you nonetheless.
You don't hear anything so you continue, "Well, I mean, he's the full package. Just look at what he's like," you chuckle. You lift your thumb as you start counting the points. "He's handsome with his dark hair and his eyes to die for." Your index finger goes up, "He's quiet but authoritative, like the time he saw a guy bothering me at the bar. He didn't hesitate before threatening him with bodily harm if he didn't stop bothering not just me - but all the ladies in the bar." Your middle finger rises, "He's got muscles galore like we've seen when he and Steve burn off extra energy in the gym and take their shirts off." Your ring finger raises, "And he's kind - too kind sometimes. Remember I told you about that time we were stuck in the rain in the middle of nowhere on a mission? He gave me his jacket and stood freezing in the pouring rain for more than an hour while we waited for our pickup." Finally, your pinkie raises, "Then there's the vibranium arm," you say as you drop your hand, your eyes sparkling with excitement.
Natasha smirks at the look that crosses your face when you talk about Bucky's prosthetic arm. "What about his arm? Most people would think it's a bad thing."
"Huh, as if! If they think that, then they're stupid. His arm is amazing. The black and gold design makes him look like a masterpiece painting. If I were an artist, I could spend hours watching him, getting every shadow and groove perfectly immortalized on the canvas." You giggle softly before continuing, "He's super strong - even stronger than Steve is, with that arm. He has amazing coordination and precision, and the temperature difference between his human hand and his vibranium hand is awesome. On a hot day, you can hold his left hand without sweating like crazy, and on a cold day, his right hand will be nice and toasty. But the biggest thing?" You take a deep breath, "His arm is vibranium, so I'm 100% sure his arm won't fall asleep like a normal man's when spooning with him in bed. A woman can lie on that arm for hours - I'm sure Bucky won't move an inch. That's the type of man he is..." A dreamy look passes over your face as you imagine yourself in that situation.
A perfect eyebrow raises in question, "Honey, why don't you just tell him you like him?" 
"What? No, I don't! I was speaking hypothetically!" You aren't like Natasha, you can't just walk up to Bucky and confidently tell him you like him. Just thinking about it makes you anxious.
Natasha's smile is huge as a shadow hovers over you, making you feel like your heart is beating out of your chest.
Please, please don't let someone be behind me.
"Hypothetically speaking," a deep, confident voice starts behind you, making you drop your head into your hands, "if I do my best to live up to your expectations, would you go out with me tonight?"
You slowly raise your head, seeing Natasha leave the kitchen quietly and Bucky take her spot opposite you.
Why can't I keep my big mouth shut?
You can't meet his eyes, your cheeks burning with humiliation as your eyes focus on your wiggling hands. "Uh, Bucky, how much did you hear?" 
This time, Bucky's voice is softer, unsure. "Pretty much everything. I know I shouldn't have listened; I couldn't help myself. Not when I heard your hypothetical. How about it, doll? Do you want to go out with me on a date?"
"Bucky, you don't have to do that just because I embarrassed myself. You don't want to go out with me."
You slowly meet his blue eyes, a smirk plastered on his handsome face. "Of course, I want to, doll. I honestly just never thought you would want to go out with me. You're so sweet and beautiful. I just never thought someone like you would be interested in me. Not with all my baggage." His gaze becomes nervous at your hesitation. "If you give me a chance, I promise I'll do my best not to disappoint you."
Can he be any sweeter? "You could never disappoint me, Bucky. You're amazing." 
His face lights up at your honest reply. "So, how about it, doll? Let me take you out on a date. If you play your cards right, I'll let you test your theory on my arm tonight. I promise I won't move an inch if I get to hold you all night long. I won't even cop a feel tonight; I'll be a perfect gentleman, I promise." 
You can't stop from giggling, feeling mischievous. You weren't making stupid promises like that, something he might figure out soon if all goes well. "It's a deal, Sarge," you reply as you grasp his hands, shivering from the hot and cold sensation. 
This is going to be fun. 
Tag List:
@cjand10
@buggy14
@crazyunsexycool
@tripleoyaa
@mandijo17
@fluffysucker
@moviegurl2002
@shelbygeek
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brilium · 7 months
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❥ K I N K T O B E R 2 0 2 3
Masterlist
➽──────────❥
❥ DAY 9. Aphrodisiac! with Nanami Kento
Summary. Nanami has been dealing with a lot of stress at the office lately, and you decided to buy him a naturalist tea that it supposed to help with the stress relief. It seems to help with stress in a very particular way...
Content Warning. Fem! reader, no use of Y/N, all characters are adults, smut, vaginal sex, overstimulation, oral sex (m. receiving), breeding. No proof read, might edit later.
Word count. 2,203.
MINORS OR AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT !!
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You bought a package of natural tea bags for stress relief. Was it suspicious? Not really. You expected them to work? Also no.
Actually, it seemed pretty normal; a simple box with small bags filled with the usual content.
You gave them to Kento when he drank in the morning before going to work. He seemed like usual; tired, with no energy and half asleep.
That was pretty much the reason why you bought them.
The tea was supposed to help him relieve stress relief, that’s why you give it to him before his stressful routine. You didn’t expect to be one of those teas.
“Fuck! S–Stay still dear!” Nanami groans, holding the headboard of the bed with one hand while the other keeps your waist firmly against the mattress as his hips slam aggressively against yours.
You look at your clothes spreader around the floor, you can't even remember when Nanami got you rid of them in the rush of kisses and make out that he put you through.
The lady at the shop gently helped you to look for a tea that would help with the stress that your husband has been having, since you’re a bit worried about his lack of words and how he skips dinner and goes to sleep. You should have suspected of her smile.
It was a damn aphrodisiac.
You cry in the pillow while he keeps thrusting with an animal fiercely, holding the sheets between your fists as his hip bone spanks against your red ass. Nanami groans fill the bedroom with the skin slapping sounds that drive you crazy.
"God— You feel so good today. I couldn't stop thinking at work about you, dear!"
And, that's fucking true, Nanami felt a weird wave of arousal as soon as he landed on his desk. Suddenly remembering how tight that shirt suited you today, he remembered how your nipples poked out softly through the fabric; and that leaded him to remember your bare body, your thighs squeezing at his sides every time he pounded on you and your sweet blush when you announced that you were about to cum—
God, he lied saying that he was sick because he needed to fuck you. It felt like ages since the last time.
When he arrived sooner, you were happy that, maybe, his boss gave him a free day. But as soon as he started kissing you as rubbing his hard erection against your stomach you knew that you’ll be the tired one today.
“P–Please! K–Kento—” You rest your cheek on the pillow to get some air, even if it’s hard to do it with his weight above yours, thrusting hard. “S–Slow down! Fuck!”
Nanami doesn’t seem to listen, actually, he does the opposite, getting a quicker peace that wins a loud scream from you. Your eyes half opened don’t let you focus clearly, although your complaints since you’re used to doing it more gently with him, you love how his tip hits constantly on your cervix like he wants to leave his mark inside you.
When you start whining against the pillow, drooling on it and starting to dig hardly your nails on your palm, you let out a small whimper of pain that startles your husband.
“D–Do you— Shit! Do you want me to stop?”
The thrusts slow down gently until stopping with some shaking from him, he doesn’t sounds like he wants to stop, even his voice shakes in need of more but his delicacy with you stays even though the way he acts right now melts a warm feeling on your chest.
You shake your head with weakness, tightening your core muscles to keep him inside. Nanami lets out a broken moan when you do it, grabbing both sides of your hips firmly and taking a deep breath.
He caresses your back from top to bottom, trying to control his need to keep slamming on you.
“This is because of that damn tea…” He scolds, going inside again more slowly even it’s a higher pain for his body needing to let out all that contained energy. "I can't even feel tiredness."
“I notice it,” You whimper, tasting how sweetly it feels his length entering again, you push your hips back a little for more and Nanami responds by unintentionally digging his nails on your skin. “Fuck— D–Don’t hold back, please...”
Nanami growls in response, he tries his best to go slow for you but even though he slowed down his thrusts, he makes sure to hit every time with enough energy to make your insides clench around his swollen dick.
You start to love this new side of him, letting out his desires to ruin you and take everything he wants. He's a gentleman, and that's perfect, but remembering that that gentleman is turning you into a mess growls a pool on your aching cunt.
When Nanami’s thrusts start to get faster and harder, you start to taste a sweet electric wave around your body as you keep hearing the headboard slamming on the wall.
“K–Kento! I’m… I’m close!” You scream, moaning his name against the sheets and grabbing them between your fists.
Nanami nods behind you, keeping his peace as he starts to feel how the knot on his stomach is about to release. He pulls you closer to him in a harsh movement and starts hitting harder, when you start crying in pleasure is when you feel a whole shiver growing along your body in the high of your orgasm. He keeps moving his hips in a messier way until he moans sharply as you feel a warmth filling your cunt.
You are breathless on the mattress as you feel the cum running down your thighs, thinking that your husband is in the same state but it takes you by surprise when he grabs you by the shoulder to make you lie on your back to look at him towering you in the bed.
He just came, a lot.
And he’s still fucking hard.
“B–But you just came!” You whine, feeling him rubbing his length along your sensitive folds. Making you roll your eyes at the sensation and having to bite your lip to not moan in response. "Kento—"
“P–Please… Fuck, you feel so warm” Nanami moans quietly between his teeths, putting his tip right on your entrance and you feel a cold chill running through your spine. “If you are still tight maybe I’ll cum sooner and the effect of the tea goes away.”
You know that he's inventing all that, you both don't know how long that effect is going to last but you’re not complaining when his tip opens your walls again.
Nanami starts to push and you throw your head back on the pillow with a pained moan, you are still really wet from the previous orgasm, but also damn sensitive. He hasn't even fully entered but yet it already has you breathing hard and biting your lip.
He grabs your thighs to spread them and has a good entrance to you when he starts stroking again, but it doesn't seem to be enough for him. Nanami does the opposite by lifting your calves to put them on his shoulders as he starts to hit again.
This new position lifts your hips a little more and gives him a good angle to hit on your cunt and turn you into a mess of moans, feeling him hitting on the cervix in such a delicious way.
His eyes travel down along your body from your parted lips crying his name; your tits being squeezed between one of your hands, trying to keep them both stimulated; and fuck, the nice view of your cunt squeezing on his fat cock around the white ring of cum around it.
You squirm on the mattress, feeling like a rag doll in the hold of his strong body.
"F–Fuck! Fuck!" You bring one of your hands between your legs to rub your swollen clit to get closer to the second orgasm. Nanami groans at the feeling of your folds hugging him tightly.
Nanami lets go of your thighs on your sides to bend closer to you, but his hips keep slamming on you like he's just started while you already started to feel your body getting sore.
You thought that he leaned closer to kiss you through the thrusts, but he stopped right in front of your breasts to start  sucking on your nipples and let them go with a "Pop!". When his hard thrusts make it hard for him to reach the nipple, he just chooses to suck on the soft skin of your breasts, leaving a dark red mark on there.
His tongue drills on the tip of your sensitive bud, biting it softly between his teeths to make your back arch for more. It's when in one of those movements that your vision goes blurry as your hands fly to his back and start to scratch it with your nails. 
"K–Kento! Yes, yes!" You roll your eyes, feeling his dick strokes on the right spot between your walls "Right there! Yes!" 
Nanami hugs you back to keep you steady as he keeps hitting, feeling your cunt tightening around him. You cry his name repeatedly against his shoulder as he thrusts while you ride the second orgasm.
You spasm under him, trembling and feeling small tears on the border of your eyes as he calms down above you. Even your walls clench around his length at the sound of his hard breathing beside your ear.
"D–Dear… I—"
You interrupt Nanami, pushing him softly to lie on his back beside you. He opens his eyes wide when you use the last remains of your strength to straddle I'm front of his swollen dick, holding the base of it with one hand as you get closer to it.
"Gosh! You gave me two sweet orgasms and you haven't even cum once…" A pout grows in your face, holding his cock to hit it softly on your cheek, loving the way Nanami’s body jumps slightly at the touch.
"Am I that bad in bed?" You continue, passing slowly your tongue flatly from his base to his tip to taste his precum combined with the last of your fluids. "Is that so, Kento? You want me to stop?"
Nanami shakes his head, bringing a hand to your cheek, caressing sweetly as he bites his lip to not scream at the way you tease him with soft licks along his member. 
"No… Don’t stop."
You smirk, licking his tip in circles with your tongue before sliding it between your lips and pull back. You enjoy his cries and pleas until you finally decide to take the most that you can, swallowing with your cheeks as he throws his head back with a growl.
It's been a while since you gave him a blow job, so you forgot how fat his cock felt inside your mouth, struggling to take it all as you jerk the rest with your hand as you lick his tip in circles before taking it all again.
But he squirms so nicely on the bed…
You laugh against his dick, sending vibrations that make him cry softly, you keep going slowly until his hands push you down to take more. You gag around him and he growls pleased, thrusting up to hit the back of your throat, making you cry softly as the sound of his guttural moans fill your ears.
"Yes, yes! You take me so well, dear!" It doesn't take longer until Nanami pulls your head back by tangling his fingers on your hair, leaving a thin thread of drool from his tip to your lip.
You look at Nanami trying to get up on his knees in front of you with your flushed cheeks and fucked out gaze. He pumps along his swollen dick in front of you a few strokes until he throws the thick lines of cum around all your face, falling down along your cheeks, mouth and some drips on your tits.
Nanami groans relieved and fall on his knees in the mattress, looking at you cleaning the rest with your thumb to suck it.
"Don’t do that, let me clean you."
"Why? Is it gross for you?" You ask, genuinely. Stopping to look around for the tissues, but Nanami’s head weight on your lap, his broken breathing hits on your thighs, giving you tickles. 
"No… I'll get hard again if I see you doing it. I still feel some dizziness from that stupid tea."
You giggle, playing with his hair with one hand as you clean the last remains with the back of your hand, waiting for cleaning it properly later.
"Don’t call it stupid! You seem less stressed, actually."
Nanami groans annoyed, slapping softly on your bare thigh.
"Maybe, but I'm stressed on what medical excuse I'll have to create for my work."
"Just tell them that something in the morning hurt your tummy."
Nanami hums in response, about to fall asleep on your thighs and you smirk before leaning closer to his ear.
"Since you’re not going back to work… Do you want another tea?"
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pathetic-sapphic · 9 months
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Arcane characters and aftercare?👀🤤
Aftercare with the Arcane characters
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VI likes to make sure you have everything you need and pampers you as if you are royalty. She feeds you bits of chocolate, makes sure you drink water and cleans you up. Afterwards, she likes to cuddle with you and discuss what the whole experience was like for you. She always needs to make sure you were completely okay with everything she did and wants to know if there is anything new you'd like to try next time. Vi's goal is to please you and make you feel good, so seeing how happy and relaxed you are after the deed is done means the world to her.
Just like that, baby, drink up. Don't want you to get dehydrated haha, I know that took a lot out of you. Here, have some chocolate, I got you your favorite. No need to thank me, you know I'd do anything for you, sweetheart. So, how was it? I wasn't too rough, was I? Do you want me to be more gentle next time? I know you like it rough but I don't want to risk hurting you, okay? Good, now just relax and let me take care of you, baby.
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JINX is always bursting with energy after the two of you are done. She has a lot of stamina so you need to remind her that you cannot keep up with her and that you need rest. So she directs all her energy and focus into taking care of you. She gets very clingy after sex and keeps running her hands all over your exhausted and flushed body, she loves the way it makes you whine so softly. Drags you off into the shower and then lets you take a nap on the couch while she goes out to buy some takeout for the two of you. She is very quick as she doesn't want to make her sweetheart wait for her long and when she comes back, she feeds you and cuddles with you on the couch. Always lets you know how much she appreciates the trust and love you give her.
What is it, toots? Don't tell me I already wore you out? Okay okay, let me just cuddle with you for a bit and then we'll go shower, sound good? Of course it does! Tell you what, how about after we shower I make a quick run to Jericho's and get you your favorite? Gotta spoil my little trinket, you're just too cute! Consider it a reward for being so good for me today, alright? Hey, don't go hiding that pretty face from me, baby! Aw, you're so red it's adorable, makes me want to pinch your cheeks. But really, you were so good for me today, yknow that? Good, I'd hate for you to think any differently.
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CAITLYN never wants you to worry about anything, especially when you're this vulnerable and tired. She brings you food and something to drink, rubs healing salve on any sore places and carries you to take a bath. She'll have you sit in her lap while softly washing your hair and body, leaving soft kisses all over your flushed face. Goes heavy on praise because she needs you to know just how good you were for her and how you made her feel good too. As strict and demanding she can be during sex, she is as sweet as honey during aftercare.
You were so perfect for me, darling. You made me feel so good and I'm so proud of you. Lean your head back for me please, I'd hate to get shampoo in your beautiful eyes. There, thank you love, doesn't that feel nice? You're always so good for me that I can't help but want to spoil you afterwards. Oh, you are so darling when you blush, come here let me kiss those red cheeks. You are absolutely adorable!
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You have no idea what your satisfied sighs and fucked-out expression do to EKKO's heart, do you? He loves witnessing just how good he made you feel and always needs to know he's treating you right. Loves laying in bed with you for hours, sharing sleepy kisses and meaningful glances. He likes to make small talk to make sure you are alright and that you're not too sore. If Ekko notices you wincing when you move, he gives you a gentle massage while kissing the back of your thighs and shoulders. He tells you how much he loves you and how stunning you are. Just the sight of you laying next to him makes his heart feel so warm and his stomach full of butterflies. Little Man appreciates you so much and sees you as his ray of sunshine in the darkness known as the Undercity.
How was that, babe? Did I blow your mind? Haha, guessing by the look you're giving me, I'd say I did. Don't worry, I'll take good care of you. Are you hurting anywhere or feeling sore? Lay on your stomach, I'll give you a nice, relaxing massage. You were pretty amazing too, you know that, firefly? You always look so pretty and sound so cute, I can't help but fall in love with you all over again. Okay, okay, I'll stop teasing but I want you to know that I love you and I'd do anything for you, alright? Good, just relax now, I'm here.
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SILCO is, quite surprisingly, very gentle with you. He knows he can be rough and how taxing it can be on both your mind and body so he showers you with praise afterwards. Lets you cuddle into his side while he lights a cigar and tells you how lovely you are. He will prepare a bath for you along with your favorite snacks and drink. Silco will join you in the bath but only if you ask nicely because he prefers showers and has to go back to work. If he notices you're still feeling vulnerable and needy, he will let you sleep in his lap or on the couch in his office while he does his work. Will occasionally stop just to admire your sleepy face and press a soft kiss into your hair, murmuring a soft 'I love you'.
How are you feeling, darling? I wasn't too rough, was I? Alright, but please do let me know if you ever feel like that or if I unintentionally hurt you. I only want to inflict the kind of pain which brings you pleasure but you already know that. You were wonderful, my love, don't you worry. You're always perfect for me. I had a bath prepared for you so feel free to take your time as I have to go over some documents now. If you start missing me, feel free to join me in my office, beloved. There's always a place for you by my side.
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VANDER loves giving praise and body worshipping his partner both during and after sex. He'll support himself on his side with his arm while gently caressing your face and hair with the other one. He'll gently murmur how beautiful you are and how lucky he is to have you. Despite his size, Vander is an extremely gentle and caring man, something which he never fails to show around you. He also loves making you laugh as it's the most beautiful sound he has ever been blessed to hear so he will often gently tickle your side or tell jokes. Loves kissing the bruises his hands and mouth left on you, always checking with you whether or not they hurt. Because of the kids, the two of you rarely have time for such activities so Vander makes sure to make each and every opportunity incredibly special and intimate.
Look at you, my darlin'. I keep askin' myself just what have I done to deserve someone as lovely and stunning as you. You are amazing, you know that? You always make me feel so good and I hope I managed to return that favor. I'm sorry we don't get to do this more often but that makes it all the more special, don't you think? Looking at you spread out so beautifully next to me makes my head go all fuzzy, I'll never understand how an old sod such as myself managed to find someone as sweet and alluring as you. Sleep now, love, you deserve to rest. I love you so much, never forget that.
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SEVIKA could never get tired of the feeling of your body against hers, so she'll often have you rest on her lap while she sits against the headboard and smokes. She'll draw gentle circles against your thigh with her free hand, admiring the marks she left all over your pretty, pliant body. Will gladly share her cigar with you if you ask her for it, thinks you look adorable when you try to inhale the smoke and fail miserably. She'll pat your back and take her cigar back, telling you to just relax against her until she's finished after which the two of you will take a nice, hot shower. Always asks about how it was for you because she knows she did well and made you see stars but hearing it from you makes pride swell up in her chest. Loves focusing on your pleasure and making you feel good even though she can be rough at times. But Sevika makes sure to make up for any roughness by taking good care of you afterwards.
Just like that, baby, just relax against me. There's no rush, we have all the time in the world. Hand me my lighter, will you? Thank you, sweetness. You want to take a drag? Go ahead but try not to choke haha. What did I tell you, baby, bitter stuff like this aren't meant for some as cute and sweet as you. I'd hate to have my darling choke on anything other than my fingers or stra- Okay okay, no need to be embarrassed, you certainly weren't before. Alright, I'll stop teasing for now, the last thing I want is to have my baby be cross with me so just rest and I promise I'll wash your hair later, sound good? Of course it does, I know all my darling's weak spots.
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Oh, this sweet, sweet man. VIKTOR needs to feel your closeness and warmth after you two do it. He loves engulfing your form with his arms and just holding you for a while. He often craves reassurance, needs to know he made you feel good and loved. Your pleasure and enjoyment are a top priority to him and he often doubts his ability to satisfy you because of his health issues. But with how attentive and careful he is, you know he could never make you feel anything less than amazing and he needs you to tell him that. He loves feeling your warmth against him and proposes a bath after the two of you catch your breath. You both wash each other's hair and bodies, making ridiculous shapes with the foam and blowing bubbles all around you. What follows is a soft make out session filled with gentle, wandering touches and tender praise.
Was that alright for you, ljubavi moja? Are you feeling okay? Good, lay down with me for a bit? I just need to feel you next to me, you always make me feel so warm and loved. You were truly wonderful just now, you never cease to amaze me. I am so lucky to have someone so wonderful as my partner, I love you more than anything. Yes, even more than Hextech haha. Your love and care made me realize that there is much more to life than just work and I'll be forever grateful to you for that. Now, how about we take a bath after which we can cuddle as much as you want, alright? Oh, but, can I get a kiss first?
translation: ljubavi moja - my love
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svtcrus · 9 months
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Day Offs. || suguru x sorcerer gn!reader
a/n : some sweet suguru writings to cope with jjk season 2
note : geto and reader are implied sorcerers , and teachers. suggestive writing , h0rny suguru
synopsis : suguru sees you in his attire and can't help himself
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having a day off from teaching and exorcizing were lucky days for you. however for your boyfriend a day off was an extremely rare day. but some days, a very rare and incredible lucky day, occurs when you're both off. and that day happened to be today.
you were still half asleep, tiredly sitting up from bed. wincing slightly at the pain coming from your lower back. the crinkled duvet covering your bare body, you scanned your bedroom for a piece of clothing. you looked to the floor which was scattered with clothing, and fallen pillows. the events of last night flashing back into your mind making you blush.
seeing sugurus thrown jujutsu jacket near you, you grabbed it to cover yourself up. it smelt like him, woody but fresh.
getting up, his jacket was long enough to cover down to the mid of your thighs. not thinking much, you made your way out to the kitchen where you could hear the sizzles of your boyfriend's cooking.
the aroma of bacon and sugurus homemade pancakes flowed in your shared little home. in the kitchen was your boyfriend shirtless with a pair of joggers hanging loosely on his lips. v-line showing, and that muscular back of his is littered with your scratch marks. oops.
the warmth of the sun piercing through your windows is making him glow before you.
you walk your way towards him, arms hugging his biceps as you tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek. he's still focused on the bacon, but he's grinning at your presence.
"morning baby," he says softly, voice still raspy from waking up so early. he's turning the knobs of the oven off so he can focus all of himself on you. only then does he take in you sporting his work attire, and it's lighting a fire inside him. his eyes widen a slight, admiring at how cute, how ravaging you look right now.
within seconds after his staring he hastily grabs you by your waist, placing you on the countertop. your arms quickly wrap around his neck as he's suddenly kissing you with the same hunger from yesterday. it's full of lust, both of your lips becoming swollen. you moan in the kiss as he's pushing against you for more, hands now trailing up to tangle into his raven hair.
meanwhile his lips then trace down to your jaw, then to your neck where its covered in his lovebites. large hands grabbing your hips, then your bare legs. he is absolutely devouring you.
"mmf-! sugu.. i'm still sore..!" you manage to breathe out, pushing him away with your free hand while the other is covering your red face. suguru looks down at you, eyes dark with want. he smirks at how flustered you are before him.
he gently grabs your hand that's on his bare chest, taking it up to his lips to place a small kiss. his other hand gripping at the edge of the counter as he towers over you.
"I can't help myself lovely, you're here wearing only my jujutsu jacket and a cute pair of underwear... you're all mine." he's leaning in again, whispering in your ear as he places your hand on his shoulder. you shy away, face looking over to the side. suguru giggles at this, kissing your cheek before he backs away. turning around to get two plates from the cabinet.
"you're so mean sugu.." is all you can mutter out, while still sitting on the kitchen counter. watching him as he acts like he wasn't about to have you for breakfast instead of the bacon and pancakes.
"mmm yes yes, now c'mon baby. let's eat yeah? you need to replenish the energy you lost from last night."
"suguru!"
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@svtcrus || 08.04.2023
©️ all rights reserved. do not copy / plagiarize or use my work.
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help-itrappedmyself · 2 months
Text
Danny Punches a Clown Part 6
Masterpost
Danny, after many promises and assurances, lets Red Robin take him to the batcave. They travel by car, and as fancy as it was, Danny was almost scared to touch anything inside it. Red was a much better driver than his father though, so he just closed his eyes and focused on trying to keep his healing up.
The Batcave turned out to be an actual cave, underground, with actual bats in it. He was whisked to a medical area too quickly to see much of anything else besides some other vehicles and a giant computer set up. 
Someone was waiting in the medical space with a tray of tools and bandages ready next to the bed, Red introduced him as Agent A. They were quick to lie him down on a cot and set him up to a heart monitor and that had Red and the A frowning immediately.
“It’s a medical condition.” Danny blurted, and both pairs of eyes shot to him. “My heartrate is naturally very slow, temperature runs cold, pale skin, slow circulation so I can't have a lot of different medications." Not that any medications would really work, but better safe than sorry. Them not working would be suspicious, and Danny does not have the energy or focus for trying to keep straight any real explanations right now.  "It’s fine, I promise.”
Agent A nodded slowly. “Is there anything else we should know before we start treatment?”
“Just can't give me any medicines, I think that's the only relevant bit.”
“Alright, I will keep that in mind. Please lift your shirt so I can see the wound.”
Danny does, and they manage their expressions quite well on seeing it. Agent A goes immediately for creams and bandages.
“What burned you like that?” Red asked.
“Gun.” Danny was starting to slur. He did not want to sleep right now, with these people here.
“A gun? What kind of gun causes burns?”
“New blaster, parents made it special.”
“Your parents make guns?”
Danny shrugs, turning his head to look at Red instead of the far off ceiling of the cave. “My parents make lots of things. They're scientists, inventors." Danny waves his arm around vaguely. "The gun was new though, hadn’t been shot with that one before. The earlier versions were much less powerful.”
“Are you saying that your parents are the ones that shot you?” Red asked gently, taking a seat in the chair next to the bed. “It wasn’t just their gun that was used?”
Danny frowns. “Well yeah.”
Tim is very concerned at the tone he just used, like getting shot at by your parents was normal. “Do they shoot at you a lot?”
“Fair amount I suppose.” Red could see Danny thinking really hard about something. Dany’s head was really starting to hurt. His brain was fuzzy and he knew he should be concerned about something, but couldn’t figure out what. His parents shooting at him was nothing new, considering. “Like, they did it more than Vlad but I don’t see him as often, and they’ve done it longer than the GIW, but since the GIW has started they’ve been about equal I guess. I mean, sometimes all the defense systems in the house target me but that wasn’t technically intentional. Took forever for us to figure out how to get them to stop that.”
“Danny, when was the last time you slept?” Red asked gently.
Danny wasn’t sure if his blip earlier this morning counted. He didn’t think it lasted more than an hour, but the last time he slept before that was before his fight in Amity, escaping through the ghost zone and running around in this dimension.
“It’s been awhile.” Danny landed on. True enough for medical history he supposed.
“Right.” A finished the last of the bandages and tugged Danny’s shirt back down. “Well, why don’t you do that now, while we go and find you something to eat.”
“I’m too tired to fight food right now.”
Tim shared a look with Alfred before turning back to Danny. “Okay then. Maybe sleep first and then eat?”
“I will go start making something now that you’re all set up here Mister Danny.” Agent A states, walking past the medical curtains and shutting them behind him. Red pulled out a tablet and started tapping on it. He noticed Danny’s eyes on him after a moment.
“You going to sleep?”
“Strange place, strange people. Not sure that’s the best decision here.”
Red looked up from his tablet.
“You trusted me enough to come here. Trust me enough to sleep. I will make sure no one but me or A comes in before you’re ready.”
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fcthots · 6 months
Note
jason x depressed!reader with "Do you want me to wash your hair?"
You're in your bed, trying to take a nap. You were exhausted, but couldn't fall asleep, and even if you did, it wouldn't go away. Picking up your phone and seeing all the missed texts and calls made it worse. The tv was on some show that you used to love, but now it was just pissing you off. Sleep wouldn't come and everything was making you upset or angry, but you also felt numb. Everything was stupid and you felt trapped in your own head.
Until you heard the door open.
You weren't worried about it being an intruder or anything. Jason made sure your apartment was equipped with oracle approved safety measures when you moved in, but that meant that there were very few people it could be.
You don’t move from your spot, only your eyes and greasy hair peeking out from the blankets. Maybe you didn’t have the energy to get up and run to the bathroom to get ready, but that doesn’t mean you particularly liked anyone seeing you this vulnerable.
He gently opens your bedroom door. The lights are off so he can't tell right away if you're awake or not. He squints until he spots your eyes watching him. He sighs.
His footsteps feel louder than they are. You avert your gaze from his and instead focus your eyes onto his feet walking closer to you.
When he finally makes it to his destination, he doesn't look at you right away. "I'm gonna turn on the lamp."
You shut your eyes and reopen them after you hear the click of the lamp. You squint at Jason's feet again.
His voice holds no judgment or accusation. "Why weren't you answering your phone?"
You want to respond, you do, but you have no excuse to offer him. Your mouth feels heavy with the weight of your guilt. You worried him. He has other things to do and now he's checking on you because you wouldn't pick up the fucking phone and send one text message. And why? Because it was too stressful for you?
He lightly peels the covers back from your face.
"Come back to me. Don't lock yourself up in there. I'm not mad. You didn't do anything wrong. Stop trying to punish yourself."
You finally look at his face in order to squint at him in faux offense. He knows you too well.
He trails his thumb gently up and down your arm. "You good to answer questions?"
You think about it for a minute and nod, despite the fact that you don't exactly feel like like answering questions, afraid of what they will be, but this is Jason after all. He's always mindful of your limits. The hand stills.
"Cool. Do you know how many days it's been since this started? Ballpark?"
You avert your eyes. You feel shameful for not telling him when it started, knowing he asked you to tell him when it happens.
He starts trailing his thumb again. "Try and stay out your head for me. I promise I'm not mad, I'm just trying to figure out how bad the episode is."
You sigh. "Three?" Your voice comes out cracked from disuse.
He watches his hand move against your arm. "Close enough, although I think it may have been 4 days, maybe 5."
You grunt in acknowledgement.
He sighs, not out of exasperation, but in thought. "Do you want me to wash your hair? Like in the sink."
"No. The rest of me is gross too, I don't wanna wash just my hair."
"Well do you feel up to a full shower?"
You feel like you want to cry, but you won't. "No...but I don't want to just wash one part. I don't wanna use all the energy I have left only to get one thing done, but I don't have energy for the rest."
He softly brings his hand to your face. His thumb trails over your cheekbone. "That sounds overwhelming" after a beat, "and exhausting."
You groan and try to hide yourself under the covers, dislodging his hand.
He peels the covers back again. His voice holds sincerity. "How about I give you a bath then? You don't have to do any of the work. I'll do everything. How's that? Sound good?"
You take a moment before tentatively nodding your head.
Jason takes his time helping you up. He supports most of your weight which seems silly because you can technically walk just fine, but you don't pull away all the same. His arm feels warm around your waist as you walk.
"I'll make you something to eat after you get out, assuming you haven't eaten in a while." He's right. You nod. Something eats away at you.
Your steps get slower as you feel heavier with guilt. "You know it won't fix me, right? None of it can." You don't look him in the eyes as you speak.
You watch the furrow of his brows from the corner of your vision. He stops walking so he can look you in the eyes. "I don’t care. I don't care if I have to do this every day for months at a time. I don't care if I have to cook every single meal for you. I'll do all of it and more because I care about you."
"I'm already too much of a burden, I won't allow you too do that for me"
"But you can't make yourself do it right now so what's the plan? To rot away? No. Not happening. You are not a burden. I want to help you. Let me help you."
For him, you'd do anything.
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alessiasfreckles · 3 months
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she's mine (georgia stanway x reader)
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inspired by she's mine by eva westphal / life with your adhd girlfriend, georgia
warnings: none
a/n: this is in no way me saying that georgia stanway has adhd (or that she takes medication)!!!!! but as someone with adhd, it wouldn't surprise me if she does. also the bit about pronouncing words differently is word for word what i said to my girlfriend that made her ask me to marry her so
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I love her the days she forgets to text back Her phone is on silent, sometimes I get mad
“I’m sorry,” Georgia says when she comes through the front door. She’s biting her lip and her thumb and finger rub together, the way they do when she’s anxious. 
“It’s okay,” you say simply. You can’t help but feel mildly annoyed, but you know she didn’t do it on purpose, and you know that being mad at her isn’t going to help, it’ll just make her feel worse.
“I just- my phone was on in my bag, and I thought I’d walk home since the weather is so nice for once, and I was listening to music and kind of zoned out and my phone was on silent and-” she rambles, trying to explain herself.
“G, it’s okay, I promise,” you hug her gently, and her body sags against yours.
“You’re not mad?” she asks, and her voice sounds so small, so unsure.
“No, baby, I’m not mad,” you tell her. “I was worried, that’s all. Normally you’re home by 4, but you weren’t, and you know how I get worried. But I’m not mad.”
You feel her nod against your shoulder, still wrapped in your arms. She pulls away just enough to be able to look at you, your arms still resting on her shoulders, hers around your waist. 
“I’m sorry for making you worry,” she says. “I’ll try to remember to message you next time, or at least put my phone on loud so I notice if you message me or try to call me.”
“Thank you, baby,” you tell her, kissing her sweetly. “That’s all I need.”
I love her the weeks she can't get out of bed I love every curl, every hair on her head
“What if I quit?” she asks one day. She’s been having ‘bad brain days’, as she calls them, a lot lately. Constantly flip-flopping between having no energy and wanting to stay in bed, and being so restless she could scream. 
“Quit?” you ask, drawing circles on her back as she lays next to you in bed. 
“Quit football,” she mumbles into the pillow. “What if I just quit football?”
She’s not really asking that, and you know it. She just feels trapped at the moment. Understimulated and overwhelmed at the same time. Her brain needs action, excitement, something to focus on. 
“You don’t want to quit,” you tell her, kindly. “I mean, it’d be okay if you did, but I don’t think you do, really. Do you?”
“No,” she sighs, and rolls over on the bed, starfishing. One arm is draped over you, and the smooth underside of her wrist absentmindedly rubs against the crook of your elbow. “I guess not.”
You can see her brain running a million miles an hour. “Do you want to talk about it?” you ask. 
She shrugs. “I don’t know how. There’s too many thoughts, I don’t know how to put them into words, or how to start.”
“You can just say words. I’ll piece it together,” you tell her, and she flashes a smile at you, grateful for how well you understand her.
She thinks for a minute, quiet, and you wait patiently, knowing not to push her. She’ll start talking when she’s ready. 
“I just want my brain to chill the fuck out,” she says finally, and all you can do is nod and press a kiss to her forehead. 
I love her the nights she complains that she's cold But I'm always warm, so I give her my coat
“I don’t understand!” she exclaims, shivering slightly. “Why does it feel so cold? It’s not like it doesn’t get this cold in England, if anything, it’s warmer here! We’re much further south!”
You slip your coat off. You’ve lived here much longer than she has, you’ve gotten used to the weather. Plus, like any good German (or person living in Germany), you understand the importance of layering, so you usually have enough layers on to keep you warm, even without a coat. 
She blushes when you help her slip into your coat. Grabbing the collar, you pull her in for a kiss, and when you pull away, she’s smiling.
“You know,” you say, tilting your head slightly. “I’m starting to think you just like wearing my coats.”
“Hm,” she hums, leaning forward to kiss you again. “Maybe.”
Oh, I even love her when she's running late I'm always on time so I'll work while I wait
You’re sitting in a café when your phone vibrates. Before you check it, you already know that it’s a message from Georgia. 
sorry i’ll be there soon i promise!!!
If you had to guess, you’d say it was going to be about 15 minutes before she got to the café. You didn’t mind. You went to the café every Wednesday afternoon. She’d meet you there after training, sometimes earlier, sometimes later. At first, it had annoyed you. You felt like she was saying you weren’t important enough for her to prioritise. After a while, you realised how hard she was trying, and that it really wasn’t her fault. Her time blindness made it hard for her to realise how much time had passed, a couple minutes easily turning into half an hour. She would set timers, alarms, reminders, but most of the time her brain would just block them out. You’d grown to enjoy the time alone before she arrived, planning for it, bringing a book or a podcast.
Ten minutes after you received the message, the bell above the café door tinkles as she comes flying in. She slides into her seat at your usual table, the one in the corner by the window so you can people-watch. 
“I’m sorry I’m late!” she says quickly. Her face is flushed and her hair is windswept, still slightly damp from showering after training. She frowns, remembering something the two of you had talked about, about saying thank you, rather than apologising. “Wait, no. Thank you for waiting for me.”
“I’ll always wait for you,” you tell her, and she smiles.
She is funny and clever and kind She says whatever pops in her mind, oh And she's so fucking weird, that when she's with me I'm laughing most of the time And she's mine, she's mine
“Have you ever thought about how weird it is that we pronounce words the way we do?” she asks, and you blink at her, sleepily. She’s sat up in bed, looking wide awake.
“Babe, it’s 7:30 in the morning,” you say, eyes watering as you hold back a yawn.
“Good morning,” she says, kissing you. “Anyway. Have you ever thought about it?”
“Uh, not really,” you sit up, joining her, rubbing sleep out of your eyes. “How long have you been awake?”
“Mh, like, an hour? I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep.”
“Oof, I’m sorry.”
She waves a hand and keeps talking, undeterred. “Like, imagine if we pronounced pineapple like Minneapolis. Pin-ee-a-pol-is. Or what if Dwayne was pronounced like Kanye. Dwan-ye. Actually, I guess that one doesn’t work. The ‘y’ is in the wrong place.” she says, frowning.
You burst out laughing.
“What?” she says.
“I love you,” you tell her, and kiss her until she can’t even remember how to pronounce her own name properly. 
I love her when she forgets to plan ahead I love her when she repeats what she's just said
“Oh, did I tell you that I’m starting on Thursday?” Georgia says as she rummages through the drawer of her bedside table.
“That’s great, baby!” you say. She starts most games now, but you’re still filled with pride every time she walks out onto the pitch.
“Shit,” she says, frowning.
“What’s wrong?” you ask.
She holds up her medication bottle, upside down. “I forgot to order a refill.”
“Ah,” you say. You can see her initial frown of realisation turning into one of frustration. “It’s okay, baby. We’ll call and order a new one as soon as the doctor’s opens.”
She nods silently, still frowning.
“What are you thinking?” you ask, gently, and she shrugs.
“Feel stupid. This happens nearly every month,” she says, voice small and angry.
You hug her tightly, staying there until you feel her tense body start to relax against you.
“You’re not stupid,” you tell her, voice calm but serious. “You’re not. I promise.”
She huffs a little, sagging. “But I always do this.”
“That doesn’t make you stupid. It just means that your brain isn’t very good at remembering things like this,” you say, rubbing circles on her back. 
She nods, frustration and anger quickly ebbing away. “Hey, did I tell you that I’m starting in the game on Thursday?” she asks, perking up, and you giggle.
Oh, I even love her when she's fast asleep I'll keep her warm when we're under the sheets
“Chilly,” she mumbles into your pyjama top as she spoons you, holding you tightly.
“You’re just using me for my warmth,” you tease, and you can feel her nodding against your back. You squeal when she puts her cold feet on the back of your legs, and her body shakes slightly as she laughs.
“You’re so nice and warm,” she sighs, wriggling to try and get closer to you.
“You know, you’d probably be warmer if you wore pyjamas,” you tell her, smiling, already knowing what she’s going to say.
“Gross,” she says. “I’ll feel all trapped and sweaty and suffocated. Ugh, and what if there’s itchy tags? No, thank you.”
“You know, you can cut the tags out,” you say, laughing.
She shakes her head against you. “No, thank you,” she repeats, voice thick with sleep.
You wake up during the night to pee, and when you crawl back into bed, you look at the sleeping form of your girlfriend. She’s curled in a ball, the duvet pulled tightly around her. As you wriggle under the covers and wrap an arm around her waist, her back against your front, she lets out a content sigh, leaning into your warmth.
She is funny and clever and kind, oh She says whatever pops in her mind, oh And she's so fucking weird, that when she's with me I'm laughing most of the time And she's mine, she's mine
“Oh, baby, are you crying?” you ask, looking over to Georgia, who’s sniffling, curled up in the corner of the sofa.
“No,” she says, looking at you with tears streaming down her face.
“Darling,” you say, holding an arm out so she can cuddle into your side. “It’s okay! It’ll all be okay!”
“B- but,” she sniffs, wiping a tear away. “He doesn’t know that! He’s just a little baby!” 
She gestures to the TV, where Brother Bear is playing. Somehow, she’s never seen the film, and as it’s one of your favourites, you decided it was finally time for her to see it. 
You look at her, fresh tears welling up in her eyes as she watches the little bear, and you can’t help but giggle, heart overflowing with love and adoration.
“Are you laughing at me?” she asks, but you can hear laughter in her voice, despite the tears. 
“No,” you say, pressing your lips together firmly, body shaking as you try to contain it. 
“You are!” she gasps dramatically, looking at you with wide eyes. “I can’t believe I’m crying and you’re just laughing at me!”
You poke the corners of her mouth, which are wiggling up and down as she tries to keep herself from laughing. She swats your hand away, but it’s too much and she can’t keep it in any longer. You both dissolve into a fit of giggles, and she has to wipe new tears away, but this time they’re from laughing so hard.
“See!” she says, in between laughter. “Now I’m crying again!”
She can’t keep a straight face, though, and neither can you.
When you’ve both finally calmed down, you can’t help but kiss her. “I love you,” you mumble into the kiss, and she smiles against your lips. 
“I love you, too,” she replies, eyes sparkling brightly.
And I see her smoking a cigarette Dancing through fountains you almost fell in You're drinking red bull at night when I can't have my coffee past 12pm And I'm so fucking grateful for every bullet I dodged to get to you Yeah, I'm so thankful for every moment I've got with you
You’re walking through a park in Munich on a summer evening, enjoying the warm air, when you come across a playground. There’s a big rope pyramid in the middle, surprisingly tall, considering it’s supposedly made for children.
“Hey, babe,” Georgia says. “Bet you I can climb up that in 10 seconds.”
“10 seconds?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. 
“Yeah!” she nods enthusiastically. “From the start to the top. Easy.”
“Hm,” Pretending to think about it, you squint at the pyramid. “What do I get if you don’t manage it?”
“A kiss.”
You roll your eyes. “I’ll get a kiss anyway.”
“Fine, I’ll put away the laundry tomorrow,” she says and you hum, not convinced. Her eyes brighten. “And I’ll do that thing you like in bed when we get home. You know, with the vibrator, and-”
“Okay, that’s enough,” you say, quickly looking around to make sure no one was nearby. “Fine. If you win, what do you get?”
“A kiss. And a massage when we get home,” she grins.
“Deal.”
“Can you time it on your phone?” she asks eagerly, bouncing up and down on her feet, and you laugh. “But don’t start it until I say go!”
“Okay, okay!” you chuckle, and she bounds towards the pyramid. She waits at the bottom, watching you, waiting for you to have your phone out. 
“You ready?” she calls out, and you nod, giving her a thumbs up. “Okay, now!”
You start the timer as she scales the pyramid, reaching the top with 3 seconds to spare. 
“7 seconds!” you yell up to her, and she lets out an excited whoop, pumping her fist into the air. She stands up briefly, then sits down on the rope again. You watch her look around, frowning. “You okay, baby?” you call.
“Yeah, I, um,” she says, running a hand through her hair, and says something so quietly that you can’t hear it.
“What?”
“I- I don’t know how to get down!” she yells, and you can see the blush on her cheeks from where you’re stood.
“What do you mean? Just climb down, like you climbed up,” you call.
“I can’t! It’s too high!”
You watch her frowning, arms folded across her chest, when you have a realisation. “Wait, baby, are you scared of heights?”
“Um,” she says, not looking at you. “Maybe?”
“Okay, hang on.”
You climb the pyramid, and when you reach the top, she clings onto your hand. Slowly, the two of you make your way down together, you telling her where to put her feet. When you’re on the ground, she looks at the ground sheepishly, cheeks still pink from embarrassment. 
“I may have, um, gotten overexcited,” she admits, and you laugh.
“You? Overexcited? No, surely not!” you tease, and she rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, yeah,” she mutters, not meeting your eyes, and you take her hand and pull her close, kissing her until she forgets about the fact that she needed your help to climb down. 
You are funny and clever and kind, oh You say whatever pops in your mind, oh And you're so fucking weird, that when you're with me I'm laughing most of the time And you're mine, you're mine Mine
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linnienin · 10 months
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⁓⁕🍷 🌸 V e n u s ⁕ a n d ⁕ h o w ⁕ y o u ⁕ c h i l l 🌸 🍷⁕⁓
Disclaimer: Take what resonates. I'm not a professional astrologer, i just am an avid researcher and i use my personal experience when writing my posts (Also, pls, don't copy my work, i spend lot of time on it, thanks)
Ahhh Venus, the planet of love. We use it to talk about our relationships and misadventures in our love life. But it also is the planet of feminine energy, enjoyment, relaxation and indulgence. How do you chill using your Venusian energy? Let's find out looking at your Venus's sign and degree
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⁕ Aries / 1-13-25 degrees : *aggresively flying on the couch* play TV, *loud setting on*, watch the tv for 1 minute, gets bored, *roll off the couch*, goes to the kitchen, sees people, start a little chase (Jason Momoa meme entered the caption) 👀👐. After annoying people for a bit, do a little workout, tries to lift a 700 kg cause they *confident*, fail, they still confident, opt for the 0.5 kg, now they happy 😊💪. Dance lover. Enjoy drinking energy drinks. Not really a sipp-er, more of a chugg-er lmao. Carbs are their heaven, they cannot have enough (cause they move a lot, they need the energyy). When laying on the sofa need to put their head on someone else's shoulder or legs or head to feel safe and receive the physical contact they really crave. Enjoy taking short cold showers. Like playing chess (they're good at strategizing and know when to attack and they're bold about it). Cut their hair as a relaxing activity (until they have no hair left to cut lol), likes dyeing them too, preferabily with bolder colours.
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⁕ Taurus / 2-14-26 degrees: The yawn-er. They're MASTER at chilling. They chill doing everything, i'm not kidding, are they at home, are they at work? They be chilling allll the time. Lovers of the sofa, bed, and others soft big surfaces. Chill by taking their time doing everything, they be starting cooking at 9 a.m. to serve a meal at 1 p.m. ✨Sloth with grace✨. Quality over quantity. Enjoy passing time doing nothing...literally. They be like fixating on a thing and looking at it for an hour straight. Mad control of their focus. Meditating without realizing It. Probably sip chamomile. They like to think time doesn't exist, they got all the time in the world (until they wake up one day, look into the mirror and realize they forgot to shave their mustache for all this time). Hella romantic, enjoy picking up flowers, endless walks in nature, veery slowly, they be stopping every 2x3 to admire a little bug passing by.
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⁕ Gemini / 3-15-27 degrees: Tea time with their personalities. Lmao, no but they literally chill by checking in with their thoughts and their ideas. Loves listening to podcasts and documentaries. Multitasking hobbies. Yup, i have no clue how they even relax by doing 1738283 things at a time but it's a way to shut down their thoughts for a while. Yeah, i know, i just told you they chill by thinking too, but sometimes it becomes too much and they have to switch the brain off. Relax by painting their nails. Get experimental with makeup. Write fanfics but leave them unfinished 👀. Admire their pretty handwriting. Enjoy reading and talking about gossip a looot, too much hehe. Like to play games that require a broad knowledge on everything (ex Trivia). Thinking about doing stuff but actually not doing it lmfao, they just love to think about soo many ideas, that is a way to relax, but then they don't even write them down and poof, they're gone and they can't remember them and they get mad about it :(
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⁕ Cancer / 4-16-28 degrees : Cuddling with their pillow 24/7 (cause deep down they feel alone... 🥺). Play animal crossing. Imagine their future family, even tho they're actually stuck in the past lol. Most likely to binge watch series for a whole day and get emotional about it because they get too attached to the characters. If they could they'd never leave the house...ever lmao, total homebodies. Relaxing by spending time alone or with very closed ones, friends/family. Probably likes to collect plushies, funko pops, or mini cute figures of their favourite fictional characters ✨. Cooking and baking can be a relaxing activity to them, especially if they do it for their family or their guests. Have 'grandma's hobbies'... knitting/crocheting for example lol. Enjoy so much making photo albums, and even more looking at them from time to time. Love going to the sea, early mornings walking barefoot on the sand and admiring the immense ocean and the sun rising, they're fans of little details and very romantic/sweet scenarios. They enjoy being helpful to others, so they'll probably ask people if they can do something for them (especially if they see people struggling doing something, they'll gladly volounteer to offer their help).
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⁕ Leo / 5-17-29 degrees: Stars wannabe. Intensely crying in front of the mirror portraying a desperate girl that has been cheated on, then recompose themselves and admire how good they just were pffft. Put on glasses even at home to feel extra, hit the door while walking cause they can't see a thing, get on the floor purposely, decides to play the blind character, gets up, * sudden dramatic enhancement of the other senses*. Dancing with the starssss. No seriosuly, they should apply, but as the professional dancer cause they so good! (and well they're not stars.... yet 👀). Like the other 2 fire venuses they enjoy moving their body so workouts are very appreciated, but leos especially loove hiit workouts, go build that cooore. Lovers of loong passionate and romantic dramas, they wanna feel all the emotions and they stay loyal to a specific series so they wish it could go on forevahh (hello..."Beautiful" lmao). ✨ Randomly transform their home in a runway show. Start walking like a model to feel themselves ✨ List all the things they can do and skills they acquired to feel good about themselves, then they list all the things they wanna work towards to use that self esteem boost to enhance their motivation and work towards their future goals.
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⁕ Virgo / 6-18 degrees : Killing the chilling. No seriosuly, these people seem like they can't 100% chill properly, and some of them may take 'something' to feel completely detached and lost from reality for a bit... 👀 They chill by making plans. Always trying to find things to do and learn to always get better. Working on themselves is their favourite project. Scanning the room in bed instead of chilling, seeing if there's something they need to adjust or clean. Overthinking the heck out of their lives...wait weren't you supposed to chill? Nevermind 🙈. Roasting others...in their minds hehe, they won't let others see how much they enjoy analizing their mistakes. 'Lemme give you advice on this thing' , others: uhm... ok but chilllll. And you ask Virgo venuses whyy they continue to give advices even when people don't listen to them. Well... saying 'I told you' is more satifying than hearing 'i don't care' 😘 (underlying validation issues). Well...i mean, they could chill while crafting, i give you this, it's probably the only time where they get near the definition of chilling...but hey hold on, cause soon enough they gonna find out details about how they're not perfect at what they do so kill the chill again and let the procrastination beginnn (wait... is procrastination's Virgo's way of chilling?)
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⁕ Libra / 7-19 degrees: They wanna experience the finest things in life. They go to that fancy restaurant, get that fancy dress, buy those fancy flowers... they wanna feel cuddled by life and specifically... lifestyle. They need to feel they value by surroundings themselves with valuable things. That's why they chill by going shopping or talking to new people, because where they see value in, they get value from. It's all about feeling good about themselves. Have a sweet tooth (but enjoy eating overall, it's like they enjoy the experience of taste, they're not really picky ultimately). Can splurge on personal care, lots of tools for facials or expensive skincare (cause after eating sugar they need to mantain the perfect skin lol). They work a lot on the mantainance of the self. That's why they have a good eye for fashion and aesthetics, because they have been researching and analizing everything that's out there to understand what's better for them, but they still haven't found out their true style due to their indecisive nature 😂. Plus let's admit it, they like to change often and renew themselves to maintain that 'interesting persona' 👀
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⁕ Scorpio / 8-20 degrees : Drowning their nose in personality tests. Seriously, when these people wanna chill, all they got on their mind is how to understand that mind even more. They're detectives of their own psyche. Lovers of shadow work. Let all those intense questions unfold! Obsessive researchers. They find a topic they like, they delve deep into it until they've found enough to feel satisfied and jump on another theme to obsess themselves over. Probably watching a lot of documentaries on criminals and unresolved cases trying to find the final answer themselves. Masters at playing Cluedo. Read everybodies's minds in every single setting, it makes them relaxed by feeling in control of the room's energies, and yeah... even during lunch between family members lmao. Need plenty of alone time. They're secretly training to become wizards/witches 👀. Probably like to sip pomegranate juice or any other juicy and thick flavoured drink. Sometimes they forget to even eat because of how invested theyre in their researches lol. I know you're already attractive as hell, but y'all take care of your bodyyy
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⁕ Sagittarius / 9-21 degrees : The boy/girl scout. Those people HAVE to move, they can't stay still or they'll start to stress out. They love a good trip somewhere new, visiting places abroad, taking that bus/train and not knowing where it'll take them (they get lost easily lmfao but they don't mind it, it's part of the thrilling experience). Documentaries lovers: can't go out? Let them wander with their minds. Like to change activities often as they get bored quickly. Enjoy trying to eat different types of food from different cultures. They like to go shopping a lot, to have little souvenirs of all the places they've been to (can tend to overspend depending on other placements in the chart). The one who find excitement in daring to do what everyone else don't want to do. Can love to pertake in volounteering activities, especially if they require them to sail to another country, they enjoy being helpful to other people in need (if underdeveloped can have hero complex). Probably enjoy playing on the Wii in competitive games, they're always up for a competition, even for the slightest thing, like "who can finish up this bottle of water first?? Ready? Start!" (they can announce little challenges like this veeery randomly and everyone will follow their lead, it's crazy haha)
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⁕ Capricorn / 10-22 degrees : Counting their money. Sorting their bills. Sooo relaxing right, especially when the money in your bank account keep groowingg 👀 (they probably watch cash envelope stuffing videos + budgeting on YT). Relax by doing the same routine every day, they can do it without even thinking, and that to them is relieving. They enjoy the adulting process, so actually...going to work can feel like chilling to them lol, they like to feel a sense of responsibility, it makes them feel motivated to always grow, and having a sense of order and stability, that's what makes them feel relaxed and safe. Constantly reading self-help books. Probably sipping their wine while chilling or an expensive drink or a concentrated drink (blueberry juice peraphs). They like high quality items, so they usually shop designer clothes/accessories, they love those labels lol. They love the sofa, don't ask me why lol, most people love the bed, capricorn venuses love the sofa, periodt (can it be because the space is restricted and Cap being ruled by Saturn, planet of restrictions... well, could be).
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⁕ Aquarius / 11-23 degrees : The videogamer. Have way too many hobbies that have nothing in common. Wanna splurge on those headphones too? You already have the bunny ears ones, the cat ears ones, the led ones, guyzzz you have a whole collection of them lmao. Are probably into reading about the unknown mysteries of the universe. Conspiracy theories lovers (they just love when they can confuse others people's minds with all their absurdities). The ones who find excitement in daring to do what everyone else don't want to do. Collectors of technology stuff, yup, they still have the gameboyy 🥺. Unpredictable af but they enjoy being this way so people can always question them and think of them as interesting. Introverted people that need to recharge by being alone. Probably Webtoons and manga lovers. Enjoy pertaking in protest marches, feeling part of the crowd (sense of belonging) and feeling they can contribute to a greater cause. They feel the need to do something crazy once in a while, so if you see them bunjee jumping randomly, or trying others 'dangerous' activities don't be surprised (pls, be careful, and don't try anything illegal....understood?👀...pfft, i already know you're gonna roll your eyes, and think, here we go, another sheep that is trying to tell me what to do lol)
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⁕ Pisces / 12-24 degrees : Do you think thinking about "what ifs" is relaxing?? Y'allll pleaseee, i know the feeling is good when you imagine your perfect reality...but...you literally take it as a hobby and do it way too much...to your own detriment 😭. They looove watching romance movies and dramas, it's their bread and butter (to give food to those daydreams right?🙃). Play music ALL day and get lost in their world, and then suddenly it's time to go to bed and they realize they lost another day to daydreaming, now they got to the nightdreaming phase of the day lol 😂😭. Loves taking baths, the contact with water feels truly healing to them, they could stay in the water 24/7. Can be extremely good at painting or drawing, or singing (and other artistic activities too), and relax by doing these activities. Just asking, but are y'all ok with the low blood pressure?😢(also curious, do you tend to have low blood pressure?). Can relax but lose themselves watching the phone,especially social medias. Until they realize they're literally watching and living an illusion, they think they live by watching everyone else's lives and connect with them through the screen, but they're not living their own life by going out there, and experiencing the world as main characters, not just extras of their own lives.
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Congrats! You've reached the end! ✨
Hope you enjoyed this post, always rememer that we are not just one placement, so if you didn't resonate, that's ok, i'd love to know your feedback in both cases (if you did or did not resonate), it is always very appreciated 🥰
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Wish you a wonderful day! 🍷 Yours, Linnie 🌸
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hillbillyoracle · 3 months
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So you can't get out of bed...
This is a resource list for all those who are having trouble getting out of bed. Whether that's because of injury, disability, or mental health, this collection of resources should help address some of the common pain points I've experienced over the years. Some will require modification if truly bedbound but my hope is this sparks ideas and gives you a place to start.
A warning: this is a *long* post. I went for thoroughness over brevity so people had options where possible.
Food
This video from Sarah McGlory of Adaptive Cleaning details her system.
It is excellent. I have a similar bin to her first in my room for high pain and low mood days. Prioritize high fiber and high protein shelf stable foods. Make sure electrolytes and water are within easy reach.
If grocery trips are too much, it's worth looking into pick up or delivery. In my experience, the delivery services through stores are better than Instacart and the like. The retailer who must not be named also has a great snack selections that hold up pretty well in transit.
Fruit + veggie pouches, baked chips, and RXBars are some of my favorites to keep on hand.
Clean Space
This video from KC Davis of Struggle Care details her "Five Things Tidying Method".
If you can't tidy your whole space, focus on the walkways. Make sure you have a walkway to your bedroom door, to your front door (or other way to leave your house), to the bathroom, and to the kitchen or where you store food.
Another tip from KC Davis - if you're struggling to get your plates back to the kitchen before they stick or attract bugs, get gallon sized plastic bags and seal the plates inside of them. You can always wash and reuse them once you've delivered it safely to your sink or dishwasher. When you're just surviving, it's just as okay to toss them after.
Bonus: This no-mess method of decluttering from Dana K. White is low energy friendly. You can stop whenever and your space is still better.
Hygiene
This post details my care kit that I use.
If you're unable to shower regularly, I'd add in some baby wipes. Yours probably won't look exactly like mine but I hope it can be a jumping off point. If I could only pick two items, it'd be the disposable toothbrushes and a good facial lotion (since it can also be used on the body). If you can't bare to change your clothes, just change your underwear. This helps prevent health issues down the road.
Movement
Arm Workout in Bed: [3 Min] [5 Min] [10 min]
Core Workout in Bed: [3 Min] [5 Min] [10 Min]
Leg Workout in Bed: [3 Min] [5 Min] [10 Min]
Yoga in Bed: [Morning] [Anytime] [Evening]
Stretching: [5 Min] [10 Min]
If you're able to stand + move but not up for leaving your room, then Rick Bhullar's walking workouts are great in a small space.
For a long time, I thought that you could only get exercise by getting dressed in specific clothes and going outside or to a gym. Now I know that there are lots of options for getting a little movement in bed. Even a short 3 min workout a day can help decrease muscle atrophy. Don't let perfect be the enemy of good enough.
Bonus: I also just walk laps around my room/apartment. You don't have to go outside. It can get a little boring sure. But quick 5-10 min walking breaks through out the day add up.
Spirituality
This is ultimately going to be specific to you and your tradition. Even if you are not religious at all taking a moment to think about your bigger picture values is important. Since my core spiritual path is Buddhism, here are some recommendations in that vein. I could not find good links for all of these. I don't necessarily do all of these everyday but I try to do a few.
Three Refuges by Plum Village
The Five Precepts by Access to Insight
The Five Remembrances on Wikipedia
Chanting Om Mani Padme Hum
Chanting Namo'valokiteshvara
Reciting the Heart Sutra
Bonus: A pagan practice I enjoy is reciting the hymns to the planet of the day. Offering water and incense is great but optional. Praying to and thanking ancestors and land spirits is also a great practice.
Alternatives to Social Media
It's easy to get stuck in the black hole of scrolling. It's good to have something enjoyable to pivot to.
Cozy Games
My favorites are Stardew Valley, Wingspan, and Animal Crossing. The first two aren't terribly expensive. A lower cost alternative to Animal Crossing would be Cozy Grove which regularly goes on sale. Sims can be cozy as well - minus any pool shenanigans.
Slowly
This is an app that allows you to send messages but delivers them on a delay based on how far away you are from someone. It makes it fairly easy to find penpals though, as with anything, it can be hit or miss. I've even convinced a few of my irl friends to try it and write them little letters on there. The delay makes receiving them more special. It's a great way to play letter writing rpgs with friends. I'm currently using it to play Grandpa's Farm with my partner.
750 Words
Ever wished you could do morning pages digitally? That's what 750 words started out as being but you can ultimately use it however you want. Some people use it to hit word counts on their writing projects. I'm a fan of using it to brain dump and then micro journal. It does cost a small fee after 30 days but it's by far been worth it to me.
FeederWatch
Getting outside - even if it's just for 5 minutes - once a day is a great goal. But if you can't, take a break and watch one of these feeder streams for a while. Even just seeing images of the outdoors, is calming. I sometime throw this up on one screen while I'm playing a cozy game or doing some non-screen activities.
Screen Breaks
We all know it's important to take screen breaks - but it's extra important to do it when you're in bed and you're screens are a big part of how you spend your day. Below are some of my favorite ways to take a break. 10 minutes every two hours or 20 minutes every three hours can make a big difference.
Postcrossing or writing letters to friends
Solo RPGs - here are some of mine, here's a D&D example
Free adult coloring pages
Read a Book - reading challenge, get personalized recommendations
Play a solitaire card game - there are so damn many now
Walk around for 5-10 minutes, bonus if it's outside.
Volunteer
One of the big feelings that come up for me when I'm mostly in bed is that I feel like a burden to others. Rather than trying to "be productive" I've found it's much better to try to positively contribute to others even if it's in small ways - sending a text to someone remembering/thanking them for something kind they did for me, ordering a little present for someone I know who's had a rough time, sending a card to someone who has a birthday coming up. The little stuff really helps people.
If you don't have many people in your life like that to help or you'd like to help some strangers too here are some other options.
Sigma Phi Eta
This is a 100% online and free greek service org I'm trying to get off the ground. 3 hours of service to become a pledge which count towards the 10 needed to become a member. 10 hours each year to stay active. We maintain an updated list of online/distanced volunteer opportunities as we find them. We have service awards for those who want to go above and beyond. Plus once you're a member you can wear our letters.
We're small right now but if you want a group of people to talk service and grow with - come join us!
Letters Against Isolation
LAI is probably my favorite charity I volunteer for. Volunteers write cards and letters to people in nursing homes, assisted living, and those connected to senior centers through Meals on Wheels and other programs. They're always adding new facilities so the need is always growing. They have facilities in multiple countries they write to and could use people who speak another language especially.
Warm Up America
Mostly for crocheters and knitters - this org accepts donations of all kinds of patterns and distributes them to smaller projects and charities who otherwise wouldn't be able to access these kind of goods at scale. I've made a few things for them - simple hats - and greatly enjoyed the process. Great use for your cheaper acrylic yarns.
7 Cups
I've had a mixed experience with 7 Cups. I really have enjoyed my experiences chatting with people on there but it can be really hit or miss as to whether I feel like I've helped people. There's also the usual people who try to use any chat service for sex. That aside, I still think their training is pretty good and it can feel meaningful when you're able to connect with someone who's not doing so hot.
Checklist
Have you cleaned yourself + changed clothes? [ ]
Have you tended to your spirituality? [ ]
Have you fed yourself? [ ] [ ] [ ]
Have you tended to your space? [ ]
Have you gotten some movement in? [ ]
Have you taken a social media break? [ ] [ ] [ ]
Have you taken a screen break? [ ] [ ] [ ]
Have you volunteered or done something nice for another person? [ ]
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tomriddleslove · 3 months
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Pt 2 - The one that you want.
✩Theodore Nott x Reader
Pt 2 to Hey, trouble (DELETED)
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Summary: The one where just as things are beginning to look up, everything comes crashing down. Alternatively: Tension, Fluff, Angst.
A/N: This fic was written very sleep deprived so I ask you to bear with me. The second part is my favourite so just stick with it.
Songs: The Way - Mac Miller, Ariana Grande
Lover, you should have come over - Jeff Buckley
Promise - Laufey
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NOTE: I accidentally deleted my account and did not have the first part of this mini series saved! I will probably rewrite it but there is some context you should know, so i’ll try summarise it as concisely as possible:
You and Theodore used to be really good friends when you first joined Hogwarts. Naturally, as you both got older, you changed slightly. Theodore came back one summer and he seemed completely different, he was not only incredibly handsome but he had generally flourished as a person. The girls all loved him and he found a new set of friends, essentially forgetting about you. Time skip a few years and you become friends with Pansy, and the rest of the group. Theodore greets you as though nothing has changed. You habour a lot of resentment to him initially, but realise you really do love chilling with the group and so you set it to the side. In the fic, you’re at a party and you head up to the roof. Theodore appears and you chat for the first time in ages. It gets a bit tense when you subtly call him out but you try brush it off as a joke. He noticed you at their quidditch practice earlier on in the day with mattheos number painted on your face, and he sounds a bit jealous. You assure him it was only for jokes, though you’re confused as to why he’d be upset. Theodore (internally ) alludes to loving you and you’re both emotionally stunted idiots in love.
AND that brings us back to now. Enjoy xx
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Friday had finally come, and you couldn't think of a word that could place just how relieved you were feeling. Don't get it wrong, you hugely valued your education, and took pride in working hard, but at the end of the day, there's only so much history of magic one could tolerate before their brain tuned out. The surprise quiz you took in class today told you that you had reached that point many months ago. But it was ok, that was an issue for the future.
You click open the door to your dorm room, tossing your bag haphazardly to the side as you undo your tie, pulling it loose with a groan of relief. Pansy is sprawled out comfortably on your bed because apparently, yours was comfier (they were the exact same thing, she just couldn't be bothered to make hers in the morning.)
You flick a strand of hair that fell in front of your face with a dramatic sigh as you flop down onto the bed, lying perpendicular to Pansy as you rest your head on her lap. She has a half smile of amusement as her hand comes down to pat your head, eyes trained on her book. You raise a brow and shuffle up slightly to catch a glimpse of what she was reading.
You see the word ‘shaft’ once and that's all you need to see as you gasp with fake indignation.
“Pansy… Whilst I'm sitting here?” You groan and she grins, her face slightly red as she shrugs, shameless.
I mean, come on. You weren't a stranger to smut, but right in front of you? You grab the book from her hand and toss it across the room.
“None of that whilst I'm here. Your amazing and beautiful friend is vying for attention so focus on me.’ You say and she playfully rolls her eyes as she lies back on her bed.
“It's disgustingly hot. I can't be bothered for this year anymore. The days are as hot as hell depths and the evening has me freezing my nonexistent balls off.” Pansy moans, and you hum in agreement.
You’re grateful for your friend and her seemingly never-ending talent of speaking because you currently couldn't even muster the energy to speak.
“Do we have to go watch the boys today? Lila told me Madam Pince has charmed the library with a cooling spell. We could go there instead.” Pansy says, sitting up, and the idea is incredibly tempting. You live for nothing more than to get out of this dastardly heat, especially in the comfort of the library (Pansy and yourself had mastered the art of smuggling snacks in. The key was in making sure you triple-checked what you bought in, which you learnt after Pansy had accidentally sat on a Fizzlebees Exploding Sherbet last winter. The poor 1st year who had sat next to you was sure that there was some kind of attack and leapt under the nearest table.)
The mention of practice has your mind thinking back to your most recent encounter with Theodore. Just thinking about it again elicited that strange feeling in your stomach. You were, perhaps, close to a path of redemption (though it was more Theodore redeeming himself.)
With a sigh, you shake your head.
“We promised them we'd come. Besides, imagine the absolute havoc Mattheo will cause when he finds out we ditched for the library of all places. He would get us banned for a month, at the very least.” You say, and Pansy grumbles but ultimately knows you’re right. She sighs, muttering.
“Yes yes, I suppose you're right.” She begrudgingly admits and you grin, sitting up. You walk over to your closet, looking for something else to wear as you felt as though you were positively melting in your uniform. You flick through your closet, cursing the endless void that conveniently was full of sweaters and thick jumpers now summer has come. You dig around and find a pair of black denim shorts towards the back. You don't even know when you got them, but they fit and they'll do the job. You're thankful for the fact that you love the feeling of freshly shaven legs on your bedsheets, because heaven knows you would not bother to shave your legs for a man. You manage to find a green shirt, and you slip it on. It's nothing special really, but you weren't dressing up for anyone. You were long past those days now, you found that it was lovely not giving two shits. Pansy called it alarming, but you liked to think of it as… eclectic.
Pansy brings over her signature red lipstick (which you're sure only she can pull off) and holds your cheek in place to draw a number 10 on it, as standard practice. You reach up to grab her hand.
“Wait. Do 7 instead.” You say. She widens her eyes slightly and wiggles her brows as she looks at you.
“Oh? And why is that?” She probes and you playfully swat her, rolling your eyes.
“Theodore just asked me to. Besides we shouldn't inflate Mattheo's ego too much.” You respond a bit too quickly, and she has a shit-eating grin on her face. Pansy knows you well though, and she knows probing any further will only give her a stinging hex and nothing more, so she simply looks at you with a pointed look as she draws the 7 on instead. You watch as she traces the number 7 on her face too, adjusting her hair as she pouts and blows a kiss at herself in the mirror. You pointedly roll your eyes to tease her and she throws a pillow at you.
“Alright alright, you humble lady. Let's go.” You muse, holding your arm out. The two of you link arms as you descend down to the quidditch pitch. The sun is shining blazing down on you, and you feel uncomfortably hot and sticky within a few seconds of being outside. You truly weren't built for warm weather.
The grass on the pitch is a beautiful rich green and the sky is so picturesquely blue that it seems more like a postcard as opposed to real life. You imagine that this must be their favourite season; you had entertained the idea of watching one match in the winter season and immediately stopped after a gust of wind sent a bird flying into the girl sitting above you (You were sure it had given her that scratch on her cheek.) You couldn't cope with watching a match in such harsh weather, and you couldn't even begin to imagine how it must be to play in such conditions.
Idiots, really. They brought it on themselves. They definitely came to that realisation when they would be dragged out of bed at 5:00 am to go play in the freezing cold whilst you remained blissfully asleep under your warm covers.
You clamber up the stairs of the stands and curse under your breath. For all the beauty and wonders the wizarding world had, was it really that damn hard to have a few escalators here and there? You wanted to watch a practice game, not train to have the thighs of Hercules. You finally reach the top and shimmy down the benches with Pansy, leaning against the railing, The team was already up in the air, circling around whilst tossing the ball to one another. For all the grace and elegance Draco exuded on the ground, you couldn’t help but snicker when you catch the sight of him looking like he had slathered himself in red paint, all sweaty and grimacing; strands of his blonde hair clinging to his face.
“You alright up there Draco? Mummy forget to send you some sun cream?” You call out teasingly, and he sneers at you as Mattheo cackles, swooping down on his broom to greet you and Pansy.
“There they are!” Blaise says, a small grin on his face as he flies down to your level, joining Mattheo. You don’t even have the time to greet him because a loud gasp escapes Mattheo's lips, his hand coming out to grip your chin, tilting your face to the side.
“Traitors!” Mattheo says, eyes flickering between Pansy and yourself. You can't keep the grin off your face as you pry your face out of Mattheo's hands.
“Oh come on Mattheo. We love you all equally and need to express that love as such.” Pansy drawls, a taunting grin on her face.
“Fuck off, I'm the only important one,” Mattheo responds, puffing out his chest as he points to himself.
Blaise has to hold back from rolling his eyes, looking over at you exasperatedly. You exchange a glance with him and you feel your lips curl up into a small smile as you stifle a laugh.
“This was your doing! What did you do to them? Now I'm going to play like shit!” Mattheo whines, as he turns to look up at Theodore.
Theodore.
Your eyes flicker up and sure enough there he is. And god, how dare he look so good in this disgusting heat. His eyes are (and you have the feeling they were like that for quite a bit) trained on you, an unreadable expression on his face. He keeps his gaze on you, and you're sure at that moment he was trying to seduce your soul or play some stupid kind of mind tricks on you to have you thinking of him all day (it was working.)
His lips curl up into that godforsaken smile that borders on a smug little smirk. It has you embarrassingly weak in the knees and suddenly you're very glad it's hot, for you could blame your red cheeks on the heat. He flies down, tearing his gaze away from you as he comes close to Mattheo.
“Come on Mattheo, I’ve got an audience so I need to make sure I beat you embarrassingly quickly today,” Theodore says, egging his friend on.
“Yeah fucking right,” Mattheo says, turning to Theodore as the two engage in the most awful, embarrassing trash talk. You and Pansy exchange a glance and the two of you side-eye them with disdain.
The simple mind of boys managed to amaze you every time. Their attention span was impressively short.
Proving your point, Mattheo flies up to poke fun at Draco and Lorenzo, who both didn't seem to be holding up too well with the heat. You lean your elbows on the railing and stiffen slightly when Theodore flies up next to you. He hovers on his broom mid-air, resting his elbow on the railing in front of you. His face is incredibly close to yours, analysing your face with those sinful eyes of him which should be illegal because
Fuck, you were deprived.
“You wore it.” He says, and he sounds oddly breathless. You were assured by Blaise mere minutes ago that they had barely started practising.
Why did it seem so hard to speak? Why did Theodore seem so surprised? Why did you feel so bashful?
“You asked.” You respond, and his eyes search yours for a second before a smile tugs at his lips. His hand reaches out to cup your face, tilting it to the side as he looks at the 7 on your cheek.
Was this all it took for Theodore to touch you?
You’d have to start drawing 7 everywhere.
His fingers brush against your jaw, and you let out a shaky breath as his thumb runs along your cheek.
His touch leaves a fiery trail in its wake, and you are sure he has to be doing some sort of nonverbal magic because you feel as though you are going crazy. You resist the urge to let your eyes flutter shut because Theodore Nott simply has that effect.
He turns your head back and you stare at one another for a second more before he pulls back, and your mouth feels awfully dry.
“Mattheo smudged it.” He says, and his voice sounds slightly strained as he says so. You can't keep the corners of your lips from lifting slightly as you nod.
“Right.” You breathe out, looking at him. He grins, and this time you have to be sure you have not secured yourself a one-way ticket to the Janus Thickey Ward of St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, because you swear his eyes flicker down to your lips for a brief second before he leans back like he's been forced to do so, wordlessly looking at you once more before he grips the broom with one hand, effortlessly flying up to start practice.
You don’t even have the time to process whatever that was because your ever-eloquent and insightful friend speaks the very thoughts running through your head.
“What in the ever-loving fuck was that?” Pansy utters, eyes wide as she stares at the spot where Theodore was standing.
Amen to that, Pansy. What in the ever-loving fuck was that?
Your hand hovers over your cheek, ghosting over the place Theodore had just touched.
You part your lips to say something, but can't even formulate the words, and Pansy recognises that.
“Holy Shit! He- That-” She says, hands grabbing your shoulders as she shakes you. You're ashamed to say you needed it because you were sure you were dreaming.
“What's going on between you two? First, you’re wearing his number to the match. Then he's practically eye fucking you and you're both literally about to make out.” Pansy babbles and you roll your eyes at her dramatics.
“Oh calm down, Pansy. He barely looked at me, and he was just fixing it because Mattheo had smudged it. There's nothing going on.” She says and Pansy narrows her eyes.
“Oh yes, and I’m fucking straight. We both know that's a lie.” She deadpans, and you shake your head with an exasperated smile.
You couldn't tell whether you wanted to crack up with laughter or strangle the shit out of her. With Pansy, the line blurred more often than not. It’s why you loved her so dearly.
“Genuinely Pansy, nothing’s going on between Theodore and me. We used to be really good friends. That's all.” You say, with a tone of finality. She sighs, mumbling under her breath.
“….Painfully obvious”
“Both know that's a lie…..”
“Hopeless idiot…”
You shoot her a glare at her mumbling and she returns the sentiment with a pointed smile, enough to make you roll your eyes with amusement. You rest your head on her shoulder as the two of you watch the match.
The day Theodore had walked past you like you simply didn't exist was the day you swore to yourself you'd never, EVER, let yourself be good friends with him again. You stuck to your word always, yet this was proving to be one time where you didn't.
You prayed you wouldn't regret this, but alas, the universe is cruel at times.
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The news of Draco’s father cancelling their annual summer holiday trip came surprisingly as great news to your groups as you all lounged in the library (which was as packed as it had ever been thanks to Madam Pince’s cooling charm. You all begged her to teach you the spell but she refused, and you were sure she kept it hidden to make sure people came to the library. Luckily for the group, you were one of the most conscientious students in your year, so you'd all get away with things due to the teachers favouring you greatly. A few other groups were kicked out immediately.)You all sat in a cosy arrangement in the far back end of the library. Pansy sat on the floor beside you, whilst you lounged in an armchair, feet thrown over one arm. Blaise sat on the other arm of the chair, with Draco and Theodore sitting opposite you. Between the armchair and sofa facing one another was a third sofa and a small round table. Mattheo and Lorenzo sat on that third sofa. Lorenzo stretches, sprawled out as he props his feet up on the table. You reach out and slap him with the book you were reading, and he cowers sheepishly as he puts his feet down.
“I was looking forward to summer in Versailles,” Draco complains, and you sigh. Would be nice to be able to go on such trips.
“Actually…” Pansy says, sitting up as though she’s just had an idea. Knowing your friend, you can't help but feel terrified about what's about to come out of her mouth.
“My parents have a beautiful holiday home down in France and they're going to Australia this year, so it's not being used. Why don't we all spend a week there?” Pansy says.
It's actually a very clever Idea, and a chorus of murmurs of agreement and nods echo throughout the group.
“That actually sounds good” Lorenzo says, and Blaise hums in agreement.
“I have family who live in France so they could sort out travel for us when we are there. I'm sure I can go.” Baise says and Pansy claps her hands excitedly, rubbing them together like some kind of evil genius (sometimes you were sure she was.)
“Draco, Theo?” Pansy says, and the mention of Theo's name has your eyes flickering up from your book. He's looking at you but the second your eyes meet he quickly looks at Pansy and nods, clearing his throat.
“Huh? Oh, uh- yeah.Sounds good.” He says. You lightly smile to yourself as you look down at your book.
“ I suppose I’ll tolerate it.” Draco sighs, and a chorus of groans escapes the group at his melodramatic behaviour.
“Oh piss off Draco, just admit you like us,” Mattheo says and Draco scoffs.
The boys very quickly once again get into a semi-play fight, and a stern hush from Madam Pince as she glares at the group of you sends them both sheepishly quiet. She walks away and it’s your turn to glare at the two boys.
“She may like me now, but if you two don't shut up she sure as fuck won't, and ill set your robes on fire if you force me to get through the summer whilst being banned from the library.” You spit, scolding them.
Mattheo and Draco both look down like children being chastised and Blaise has to hide his amusement as he nudges your shoulder, getting up.
“Right well, that's our cue to leave anyway. Have the real match tomorrow so we need an early night.” Blaise says. One by one everyone gets up, Pansy pushing off the floor with a sigh as she dusts down her skirt.
She turns to you, raising a brow.
“You coming?” She asks, holding a hand out and you look up, shaking your head.
“Nah. Gonna stay here for a while. Finish reading this.” You say, holding up your book with a weak smile. Pansy shakes her head with a smile, ruffling your hair (much to your dismay).
“My little neek. Have fun!” She says, and you flip her off at the comment. She grins, blowing a fake kiss back at you as she manoeuvres past the wooden bookshelves and out of the library.
You sigh and feel as though you're sinking further into the plush armchair, a pillow held to your chest as you read your book. Everything about the library was so pleasantly calming. The dim lights that cast dancing shadows of the book spines across the wall. The bibliosmia that you inhaled deeply as you lay for what felt like hours, reading whatever you could get your hands on. You’re so caught up in the allure of the library (Pansy might have a point, you definitely were a neek), that you don't even notice the presence of someone coming to sit down on the sofa next to you until the sound of the leather cushions sagging under weight draws your attention up from the pages of the book.
Seriously? Were you actually that oblivious? It was extremely alarming if you were.
You look up and see Theodore moving to take a seat on the sofa next to you. He stretches out his legs, his large frame suddenly making the space seem a lot smaller.
“Hey.” He says, and your lips quirk up in a smile as you speak.
“Hey,” You respond, folding the corner of your book.
“What are you reading?” Theodore asks, and you raise a brow.
Did he really have an interest in the book you were reading? A few years ago the Theodore you knew would never touch a book (though he would listen to you ramble on about them for an hour.)
But Theodore has changed, And so have you. He’s no longer the Theodore you knew, and the reminder turns the feeling in your stomach unpleasant.
You hold up your book, weakly smiling as you show him the cover. It was rather beaten and bruised, but you had owned this copy since your first year. You’ve reread it more times than you can count.
“Little women,” Theodore says, a small smile of recognition on his face. He remembered you, always walking around with that book. Theodore couldn’t comprehend what half the words in the book meant, but he remembered hearing you talk about it and thinking you were truly the most incredible person he had ever met.
That hadn't really changed.
“Mhmm. Must be my 5th time rereading it this year.” You say, with a small smile, and Theodore lets out a low laugh.
He's looking down at the table, and you admire the way the dim light dances along his features, making them look surprisingly soft.
“Love Jo all your days, if you choose, but don't let it spoil you, for it's wicked to throw away so many good gifts…” Theodore starts, gaze trained ahead.
“......because you can't have the one you want” You finish, quietly.
Theodore's gaze drops to his hands, fiddling with the threads on his bag. The air is thick with unspoken words. A quiet dance of regrets lingers in the spaces between your words.
"Little Women," Theodore repeats, his fingers tracing the zip on his bag. "I remember how you used to quote passages from that book like they were sacred verses. It was almost like a religion for you."
You can sense the undertone in his words—the acknowledgement of a shared past that now exists as a distant echo.
The silence that follows hangs heavy.
You shift uncomfortably in your seat, the worn pages of the book suddenly feeling like a fragile shield against the currents of emotion. Theodore's eyes, once familiar and comforting, now carry a hint of regret and a touch of something unsaid.
"Jo March was always your favourite," he continues, his voice soft, almost hesitant.
“Still is,” you say, and he nods, looking up at you. His smile is tight-lipped, and you fight the urge to reach forward and massage the furrow of his brow. He reaches into the side pocket of his bag, pulling out a book.
Little women.
You frown as you take the copy from him, flicking through it. There are scribbles and annotations all over the pages.
You hate the way you instantly recognise his handwriting - another testament as to how Theodore was weaved into everything you did.
Theodore takes the book back, his fingers lingering on the worn cover. He opens the book, thumbing through the pages, his eyes fixing on the annotations.
"I've been reading it," he admits, his voice a low murmur. "Annotating it. I wanted to see it through your eyes, to understand why it meant so much to you."
You watch him, and your heart clenches at his voice. At his eyes, At the way he speaks, and the way he keeps his head down. The realisation that he held onto this piece of you, even as you both drifted apart, is enough to send you into a spiral.
"I see you in these pages," Theodore continues, his gaze locking onto the annotated paragraphs. "I see you in between the lines, and in the words. I see you in Jo, I see you in the witty comments. Every time I read this, It's like a piece of you is still here with me."
A lump forms in your throat, and you swallow hard, trying to push back the tears that threaten to spill over.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry
“Every time I read these words, I feel like I'm back with you, even if just for a moment." He admits, looking up at you.
The devastation in his eyes is surely mirrored in your own.
You want to cry. You want to shout, because how dare he sit here, and speak of you with such reverence, and act like he cares for you when he had forgotten about you so easily? How dare he say he sees you in everything he does when he looked right past you when you stood in front of him?
How dare he act like he missed you when he didn’t?
You can't say anything. You physically can't, because every time you open your mouth it hurts. Grief clings to the pipes, scratching at your throat. It restricts your breathing, it gnaws at you.
Theodore looks at you and clears his throat, quickly looking down. You fail to make out the fact that his own eyes are threatening to spill with tears, as your own teary eyes cloud your vision.
It was always like that with you and Theodore.
Amid your shared tears, the unspoken suddenly becomes the unsayable.
He gets up, and he can't bear to look at your face because every glance of those tears in your eyes eats away at his heart. He grabs his bag and throws it over his shoulder, rushing out for fear of what you might say.
“See you” He murmurs, walking away. You can’t tear your gaze away from where he walks away even as his form disappears, and you swear the boy had taken part of your heart with him.
The quote “Fate was a cruel mistress” Never made much sense to you. Fate was beautiful even in its destructive nature. Fate was unstoppable, she didn't wait for anyone or veer away. You used to admire that about her. You found it to be a beautiful thing. Of course, it's because you also believe that fate would only wait for you. Wait that one extra second. Then, perhaps, Theodore and you would be on the same path. Instead, you were two, walking the same path only a heartbeat apart. As if time itself conspires to teach that love can occur in the same book, but pages apart.
You cannot love the beauty of her tenacity and cower from it too.
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exhaslo · 4 months
Text
Puzzle Pieces Ch10
(Mafia!Miguel x Shy!Reader)
Ch.1, Ch.2, Ch.3, Ch.4, Ch.5, Ch6, Ch7, Ch8, Ch9
Warning: Smut so Minors DNI, mentions of abuse, blood, murder, language, fluff, bullying, mentions of sex, shower sex, praise
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You were trapped there again.
Afraid.
Your body was already shaking, just anticipating the heavy footsteps once that creaky door opened. Your breathing hitched as those thoughts became reality. The loud creak made you stumble as you hurried to the kitchen.
Swiftly, you tried to stop your hands from shaking as you prepped a plate. Tears were rolling down your cheeks as you heard a heavy bag hit the floor. Your heart was about to burst out of your chest. You couldn't focus and because of that...
CRASH.
"Fuck, woman." Eddie hissed.
You started sobbing and apologizing as you attempted to clean up your mess. His footsteps grew louder and harsher as they drew closer to you. Your breathing stopped as Eddie appeared in front of you. A harsh scowl on his face as he looked down at you.
"Tch, so useless. Clean this shit up and get my dinner ready. I got to head out again soon." Eddie spat as he gave you a swift kick to your stomach.
"S-Sorry....hn...I-I'm so s-sorry." You sobbed, holding your stomach in pain as you kept cleaning.
"Can't believe I got stuck with you."
---------
"I'm sorry!" You gasped, crying as you awoke.
It was hot. You felt sweat all over your body as you scooted off your bed. Another nightmare about him. This was the first one you had since you officially dated Miguel. Unable to stop shaking, you hurried to your living room and grabbed a puzzle.
It had been two weeks since Halloween night. You were happy with Miguel. Everything was going so smoothly, so why. Why were you having nightmares again?
"It's s-so l-late...I-I...d-don't...want...want to bother...." You sniffled lowly, shaking as you reached for your phone.
Miguel had told you to call him whenever you needed to calm down. He was so understanding. Shuddering as you felt your chest tighten, you hesitated to press on Miguel's name. It was almost midnight. What were the chances that he was awake?
-------
Miguel sat alone in a dark room. The only visible thing were his eyes that seemed to have a red glow to them. An echo of a tap was heard until the door creaked opened. Miguel exhaled softly as he watched Miles and his little crew enter.
"Still nothing?" Miguel's tone was more than annoyed.
"Our lead got us nowhere. The best we can do is just keep watching the supermarket." Peter stepped in. Miguel's eye twitched,
"Why is it so hard to find one man?"
"Well, to be fair, we're always fighting someone so our attention isn't that focused on this one dude," Gwen sighed and glanced at Miles, "Maybe we can draw-"
Miguel slammed his fist against the desk. His glare more prominent than normal. Everyone took this as a sign to leave. Not before apologizing to Miguel first. Once they were all gone, Miguel hissed lowly as he grabbed a bottle of whiskey from under his desk.
Right as he poured the liquid into a glass, Miguel growled at the sound of his phone. It was late and Miguel was ready to go home, but of course, that new pest of a mafia group had to cause trouble. This new Venom group was going to be destroyed one way or another.
"(Y/N)?" Miguel whispered as he saw your name on his phone, "It's late, Conejita (bunny), why are you still up?" He lowered his voice for you.
"I...I had a n-nightmare," You whimpered.
Miguel's eyes soften as he leaned back in his seat. Your voice was scratchy and low. You've been crying. That and your stuttering was pretty bad. Oh, how he wished you were in his arms right now for him to comfort you.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Miguel glanced at his watch, his own exhausted eyes drooping slightly,
"N-No...I...I just...j-just need to c-calm down. I-I like...h-hearing y-your voice." You whimpered softly. Miguel inhaled deeply as he found the energy to stand,
"I'll be there in a bit, amor (love). Don't worry."
"O-Okay,"
Miguel smiled softly as he heard the relief in your tone. He hung up, then immediately called his driver. Despite still having a lot of work to do, Miguel was going to call it a night. He can have his men and women do his dirty work for now.
Miguel needed his relief.
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You played with your sleeves as you fixed up your place. It helped you clear your mind a bit since Miguel was coming over. Hurrying to the bedroom, you doublechecked his spare clothes. Since you started dating, you bought Miguel some cozy clothes in case he ever decided to stay over again.
You were always the one to sleep over at his place.
Feeling your cheeks burn, you shook the thought away and hurried back to the living room. Miguel was going to come over any minute now. You needed to finish your puzzle.
'Pick up this shit! What are you a fucking child?'
Your breathing shuddered as the voice screamed from the back of your mind. You held the small piece in your palm, unable to stop shaking. Your sleeves slowly rolling down, revealing the scars you gave yourself as a means of escape.
'Do you have ANY FUCKING IDEA how fucked I'll be if you tried to fucking kill yourself? Don't be a stupid little bitch!'
Tears rolled down your cheeks as you sobbed once more. Why did his voice have to come back and haunt you? Why was he such a poison in your mind? Eddie was a venom. Eating away at your soul until you were nothing left.
"(Y/N)?" Miguel knocked against your door.
Quickly, you hurried to him. You tackled Miguel, wrapping your arms around him as you sobbed into his chest. With ease, Miguel picked you up and carried you into the bedroom. You didn't want to let him go.
"What's wrong, (Y/N)?" Miguel asked, sitting you on the bed. He noticed a pair of clothes set aside for him, "Hm?"
"I-I k-keep hearing...h-his...his voice. I-I can't..." You tighten your grip against his jacket, "I-I'm sorry. S-Sorry I'm a burden."
"But you're not," Miguel sighed softly and lifted your chin, kissing your tears away, "He is no longer in your life. Y estoy planeando matar al cabrón por ti, mi conejito. (And I'm planning on killing the fucker for you, my bunny)."
"Mhm, M-Miguel..." You whispered, only understanding the 'bunny' part, "Um...I, um...I got you some comfortable clothes...to s-sleep in. W-Would you like s-shower first?"
"Only if you join me,"
You bit your lower lip and slowly nodded. Honestly, just having Miguel here was calming you down. Following Miguel into the bathroom, you helped set the water and squeaked softly as Miguel already started to get undressed.
You followed suit, still hesitating with your clothes. Miguel approached you, his hands gently holding your waist. You closed your eyes, finally removing your shirt. Miguel responded with a hum and proceeded to kiss you,
"My beautiful girl," He whispered, slowly pulling you into the shower with him.
Your heart fluttered every time Miguel complemented you. Your shower was small, so your bodies were pressed against each other. Miguel had you in his embrace, his head resting against the crook of your neck as the warm water hit his skin.
"(Y/n), whenever you think of that asshole, I want you to remember that I'm taking care of you now," Miguel whispered in your ear as his hands stroked your sides, "That I cherish you for the wonderful woman you are."
"M-Miguel," You whispered, feeling your back pressed against the wall.
You whimpered softly as Miguel started to kiss and nibble at your neck and shoulder. You slowly wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders as Miguel lifted you up. You shuddered as Miguel started to grind his hips into yours, causing you to wrap your legs around his waist.
"Call out of work tomorrow, amor. Let me spoil you."
"B-But...mhm, I-I can't...c-call out again." You whimpered softly, resisting a moan as Miguel's dick slid against your folds, "M-My...b-b-bills"
"I'll take care of everything," Miguel hummed, making his marks on you, "You deserve a break. Let me take care of you."
"M-Miggy," You moaned as his tip poked your hole.
You arched your back against the wall, giving Miguel more space to mark you. He hummed in response, his fingers slowly rubbing circles against your clit. The heat of the shower was fogging your mind as you started to give into the pleasure.
"That's right, let me take care of you." Miguel hummed, stealing your lips in a kiss as he gently slid his dick inside you.
"Mhpm~"
Your legs tighten around Miguel's waist as he started to thrust into you. His gentle yet rough thrusts sending you to nirvana with each slap. Whimpers and moans were coming out loudly as you clenched around Miguel's cock.
Every time Miguel fucked you, it made you remember the difference between him and your past relationship. Miguel was far too good for you. Gasping, you fell victim to an orgasm with another simple rough thrust from Miguel.
"Gooooood girl. That's right, you're doing so good for me," Miguel groaned, his thrusts getting a little faster and harsher.
You flung your head back, crying out as Miguel kept hitting your sweet spot. Your hands were gripping his hair, your head resting against his shoulder.
"Miggy~"
-------
Miguel grunted as you kept clenching around his dick. Your blissed out expression gave him full to keep going. You were doing better giving yourself into him. Miguel just needed you to realize that you didn't have to work anymore.
That you could live with him.
Hearing loud knocking from against the shower wall, Miguel chuckled darkly. Seems like his shy bunny was being too loud for your neighbors. You didn't even notice as Miguel drew another orgasm out of you.
"Let's take this to the bed," Miguel chuckled.
Still holding onto you, Miguel turned the water off and brought a towel. He placed the towel on the bed before laying you on your back. His harsh and rough thrusts continued as he pressed you into mating position.
"I'll treat you like the princess you deserve to be," Miguel grunted as he unloaded inside of you.
"M-Mig..." You breathed out, "P-Please...K-Keep going,"
Miguel just chuckled as he kissed you deeply. Your cute fucked out expression just begging for more. Miguel flipped you on your stomach, pressing himself against you back. You whimpered and moaned as his rough thrusts continued.
"Ah, sabe tan bien. Eres mi dulce conejita en celo, ¿no? ¿Quieres que te dé una razón para ser mía? (Ah, taste so good. You are my sweet little bunny in heat aren't you? Want me to give you a reason to be mine?)" Miguel whispered, falling into his own lust.
Miguel pressed his hand against your back, watching you grip the bed sheets. Your moans filling his ears like music. Your sweet pussy dripping and sucking his dick, forming a white ring around his cock. Your moans were almost pornographic as Miguel finally let loose.
"I'm going to treat you so well tomorrow. I've had such a long day." Miguel whispered in your ear, "Going to make you forget all about what hurts you."
"Miguel~!" You cried out, collapsing after a harsh orgasm.
Miguel sighed softly as he finished. Another grunt and a moan, Miguel gave you one last load of his cum. A loud sigh escaping his throat as relief washed over him. As he pulled out, Miguel smiled at his work once more.
You were fast asleep, your body twitching softly with his marks all over you. Miguel put on the clothes you got him and proceeded to wipe you down. He found some new pajamas for you and got you dressed before finally climbing into your bed.
"Not the best way to comfort her, but this works too," Miguel told himself before falling asleep.
---------
"Took forever, but we finally had time to get here." Eddie huffed as he stood in front of the supermarket you worked at, "Now to take back what belongs to me."
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next chapter
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