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favefandomimagines · 3 years

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Join the Club (b.b.)

Summary: two ticking time bombs find solace in each other

AN: had my self a little Captain America triple feature today and I miss bucky barnes so enjoy lol also since we haven’t met any of the other marvel universe characters, the reader has Magneto’s powers, do with that what you will

taglist: @amourtentiaa

There were many words people used to describe you. Asset, liability, crazy, tortured. The list went on and on and those were words you were accustomed to hearing for so long.

Growing up as an enhanced individual made you a social periah from the get go. You always thought you were a freak and that there was no one else like you.

You thought there was nowhere or no one that made you feel wanted until you met a small mob family in New York City. They told you you’d be the number one asset and ‘part of the family.’ But they used you. Used you to kill people and if you showed any hesitation, they’d torture you with various weapons. None of them metal so you couldn’t fight back.

The only way to escape was killing them all. And again, you were back to feeling like the outcast and now a murderer.

Until Tony Stark himself recruited you for a ‘mission’ of sorts.

He showed up at your apartment and asked for your help. And who were you to say no to Tony Stark?

“I’m nothing special, Mr. Stark. I’ve done some really bad things.” You told the man. The billionaire was sitting across from you on your living room couch as you fiddled with the tea cup in your hand. “On the contrary, Y/N. You have the ability to anything with metal in it. That’s a gift. You did what you had to do to survive. I know all about your past.” Tony said.

“You’re probably the first and only person who thinks that.” You said. “I need your help. Captain Rogers and I had a falling out and I need you to help me stop him from making a huge mistake. And then you can come work for Stark Industries.” The man told you.

You looked at him for a moment when you realized you had nothing left to lose.

From that day on, being at the Avengers compound had made you feel like a little less of an outcast. You had Wanda, who you sparred with a few times. Using your powers of course. Clint made you laugh and had a paternal sense about him that you could tell came from having three children. He was obviously a natural at it.

You played pranks on Steve and Sam, giving their signature shield and flight suit were made out of metal. And then there was Bucky Barnes. The infamous Winter Solider that you have heard numerous stories about.

You felt bad for him. He was used as a pawn in someone’s screwed up game and faced the consequences for it every single day. You could relate to that on a lot of levels. You were quite the insomniac and had issues falling asleep so you ran into him in the kitchen on a few occasions.

He told you about the night terrors and how every time he closed his eyes he saw all of the terrible things he had done. Every single thing HYDRA had him do and every person they had him kill. From that point on, you and Bucky had formed a bond. A bond that soon surpassed the levels of friendship and blossomed into a romantic relationship.

Bucky had told you that you sleeping next to him seemed to be the only thing that stopped his past from haunting him in his sleep and you soon spent many nights in his bed.

You and Bucky had went to bed like it was any normal night. You showered and laid in bed for a few hours before the both of you had drifted off to sleep. But your insomnia struck again and you slowly got out of the bed and made your way to the kitchen.

After making a small cup of tea, you stepped back into the dark bedroom, cup in hand. You assumed Bucky was still deeply asleep but were quickly proven wrong when you felt a hand wrapped around your throat and your body was pushed against the wall.

The cup left your hand and shattered to the floor but the sound wasn’t enough to knock Bucky out of his trance. “Bucky.” You croaked out.

“Bucky, it’s me.” Your voice strained, trying to pry Bucky’s hand off of your neck. You looked down at your free hand and used all of the strength you had left to focus on Bucky’s metal arm and soon you felt the oxygen hit your lungs as he was thrown across the room.

But oxygen wasn’t enough to keep you awake and alert. You fell to the ground and completely lost consciousness.

When you woke up, you were back in your own bedroom. Steve was sitting in the chair in the corner asleep, in a position that looked rather uncomfortable.

“Steve, wake up.” You tried to say, your voice coming out hoarse. The man stirred and woke up, seeing that you were awake as well. “Y/N, how are you feeling?” He asked. “What happened?” You asked. “Bucky, he, uh, had a night terror. He must have been startled and he tried to kill you.” Steve explained. “No, no I know that. Where is he?” You questioned.

“We don’t know. After he came to get Nat and I he just took off. Said that he was too dangerous to be around you.” The man answered. “I have to go find him. He didn’t mean to hurt me.” You said, moving to stand up. “Are you sure? You were completely drained of energy.” Steve rebutted. “Yes, I’m sure. Bucky thinks he’s a monster and now he probably feels even worse.” You explained.

Steve sighed as he also rose to his feet. “I’ll help you find him. You’re important to him and if anyone can talk to him it’s you.” He said. You gave him a grateful smile as he helped you stand.

You hacked into every traffic and public camera you could and discovered that he had taken a Greyhound bus to Washington DC. “Why would he go to DC? That’s a five hour bus ride.” You asked Steve. “The Smithsonian. They have an exhibit there and he has his own display.” Steve answered. “Then we’re going.” You ordered.

Five hours later, Steve dropped you off at the museum and you began your search for Bucky. And it wasn’t too difficult to find the exhibit on Captain America. You wandered around and examined the photos and read the plaques when you stumbled upon a man standing directly in front of the exhibit for James Buchanan Barnes.

You noticed that he had been standing there longer than most of the patrons and you could sense it was Bucky. Approaching him slowly, you maintained your distance as you stopped next to him.

“You look good with short hair.” You commented, looking at the photo. Bucky looked over at you with a pained expression before you finally made eye contact with him.

HIs gaze shifted downwards towards your neck and he clenched his jaw upon seeing the dark purple bruise around it.

“How’d you find me?” He asked. “Well, I found out you took a bus to get here and Steve connected the dots.” You answered. “Why are you here, Y/N? After what I did?” Bucky questioned. “Because it was an accident. You didn’t mean to have night terrors.” You said.

“I could have killed you. I’m a monster.” Bucky said. “Join the club.” You replied. “You’re not the only Avenger on a redemption arc, Barnes.” You added, slightly agitated as his self loathing. “What do you mean?” Bucky asked.

You looked at him for a second before looking back at the picture of him. “I killed my mom. It was an accident but I did. We were arguing on me not wanting to go to Saturday detention at school. I refused to get in the car and I got angry. So angry, my powers went out of control and I crushed the car with my mind. It was so bad my aunt told the police it was a hit and run. I had to stage my mother’s death because I was the one who killed her. Then I joined a mob family as their personal hit man because it was the only way I could survive. Even then, if I didn’t comply they’d torture me with plastic weapons because then there was no way I’d be able to fight back. I killed all of them the second I could.” You confessed.

You hadn’t told anyone but Tony about the real reason you had been on your own since you were 16 and your own past demons. You didn’t tell Bucky but you always told him you understand how it felt to be out of control.

“You didn’t mean to do it.” Bucky spoke. “I know. Just like you didn’t mean to hurt me. You weren’t in control because you still thought you were the Winter Soldier. It wasn’t your fault.” You said.

“There will always be a part of us that emulates our past whether we like it or not.” You added. “I just, I can’t risk hurting you again.” Bucky replied. “I know you’re afraid but you’re not going to hurt me again. Not if you don’t let what they did to you control you. You’re stronger than them, James and you’re the one in control now. Not HYDRA.” You said.

Bucky looked at you with a sense of adoration. No one had ever treated him with such compassion before. Steve and Sam used the tough love tactic and Tony would just show him zero pity. But you treated him with care and love and no one had done that before since he escaped HYDRA.

“You’ve never told me about your past before.” Bucky finally said. “Because I was afraid. You’d find out I wasn’t the clean and shiny Y/N you thought I was when we met. That you’d not want to be with someone with a damaged past.” You explained. “I love you because you’re you not because I thought you were clean and shiny.” He said.

Your head snapped up from the floor to look at him with wide eyes. He had never told you that before and you didn’t know if you were hearing things. You had told him you loved him and you knew he wasn’t ready to say it back. You understood. Those feelings don’t come lightly after one has the past Bucky has had.

“W-What did you say?” You asked. “That I love you.” He confirmed. “You’ve never told me that before.” You said. “But I mean it. I haven’t felt this way for anyone before.” Bucky said.

You stepped closer to Bucky and wrapped your arms around him tightly. Whatever tension Bucky was feeling instantly melted away and you felt his body soften.

“You’re gonna be okay, Buck. I promise.” You whispered.

Bucky held on to you like a lifeline and you held on to him and for the first time since Bucky escaped HYDRA, he truly believed he was going to be okay.

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan #marvel imagine #steve rogers #tony stark #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #sam wilson

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exosmutfactory · 3 years

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Six Phases 006 Pt 6

Who knew it nearly took 6 months to win your heart, and 6 phases for Baekhyun to lose his mind.

A/N: I couldn't find a picture to match Baekhyun's appearance—so I chose one that fits his mood instead 2.0 😅 ♡

[ contains: angst ] Two’s a couple, Three’s a crowd 💔

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 P(1) P(2) | Part 4 P(1) P(2) | Part 5 P(1) P(2) | Part 6 P(1) P(2) —– P(3) P(4) —– P(5) P(6) ✓ ||| ♬♩♪♩ FINALE P(1) P(2)

•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •

My heels click rhythmically on the sidewalk, in perfect sync with the song I’m humming. I’ve taken a liking to listening to new music lately instead of sticking to the same old artists that I’ve heard a thousand times. Trying to expand my horizons and replace sob-inducing ballads with uplifting trap beats.

It’s going okay so far: moving on. Learning how to navigate the world while riding solo. It’s not like I haven’t done it before—sleepless nights aren’t new. Lack of appetite isn’t either. A breakup will never be the end of the world, no matter how excruciating it is. So why should I let it hold me back and define me?

Birds chirp merrily in the trees, bringing a smile to my face, especially when I catch sight of a little hummingbird enjoying nectar from a patch of flowers. If there’s one thing I can say that has helped me during this time, it’s nature. Simply looking out at the world from my apartment window and taking long walks around the more remote parts of this city have calmed my soul more than I can express with words.

I’m watching the squirrels scurry around on the other side of the street while waiting for the crosswalk light to turn green when my phone buzzes in my pocket. I sigh, so much for a moment of tranquility.

I pull my phone out of my tiny jean pocket, furrowing my brows at the caller ID. Jongin…? That’s strange, has he ever called me before? I rack my brain for answers. Nope, this is the first time he is calling me. Flashbacks of our distant friendship since that one summer fight I had with a certain someone flashes through my mind... I press my phone to my ear before I can overthink it any longer. "Hello?"

"Riley." Jongin’s smooth voice filters over the line.

"Hi," I mumble, continuing down the street, noticing a beautiful blue and green butterfly flying by with a smile. The pitter patter of a water fountain in the distance has me falling back into my 'Zen’ mode. "What’s up? How are you?"

"I need a favor." He drops; straight to the point. Sending me right into a panic.

My phone nearly falls to the ground. "...You didn’t break a leg or something-"

"No, no," He immediately responds, recognizing the high pitch of hysteria in my voice. "It’s nothing bad."

Thank fuck, the last thing I need right now is bad news. It may be the end of March, but I’m not really feeling this 'Spring’ season. My mood shifts faster than the strong wind. The only stress I try to have nowadays are always work related because if I stop and think about my personal life for a moment I am fucked.

I take a deep breath, leaning my back against a light pole before replying to him. "Okay."

"There’s a dance competition in June," He slowly explains, "and I need a partner."

"Oh..." I blink a few times, straightening back up. "Huh… I’m sorry, I’m not really good at choosing candidates. I’m not a professional-"

"I mean you." He interjects, background music drifting over the line. "I want you to be my partner."

I pull the phone away from my ear for a moment, looking at it in disbelief, "I'm sorry—What?"

"I have a routine already," His voice takes on a warmer tone, pure persuasion dripping from his honeyed words. "With your name all over it."

"...Eh??" I look off to the side, trying in vain to find something—anything to distract me from the tingles zapping down my spine at the sound of his voice. God… what the fuck? "Don’t you have like a million other people who specialize in-"

"I made the choreography for you."

My heart hammers in my chest. "And why the heck would you do that?" I demand, tightening my grip on the phone. Something out of the corner of my eye suddenly captures my attention, dragging my eyes over to it instantly. The sight that greets me has my throat going dry, gulping as my hands shake.

It’s Baekhyun—and he isn’t alone.

He’s accompanied by a tall, beautiful woman, the same height as him in her flat sandals. Her black hair reaches the middle of her back, contrasting against her light blue overalls and swaying softly in the cool wind. They lean against a brick wall next to a cute coffee shop with matching coffee cups in their hands.

Jongin’s words fade into background noise while I watch them. My vision blurs when she laughs, resting her hand on his arm. The way she easily initiates physical contact with him speaks volumes; this isn’t their first meeting. It’s been 2 months since January, and yet...

My heart constricts painfully in my chest, I suck in a deep breath. Lightheadedness hits me full force, I quickly cling onto the pole when my body sways off balance. Shit… I must have been holding my breath.

"Riley?" Jongin’s muffled voice drifts from my distant phone. Thankfully it fell onto the parking meteor next to me and not on the ground. "Riley!"

Burning a hole into the back of Baekhyun’s silver-haired head, I bring the phone back to my ear. "I’ll do it," I mumble lowly.

"I’m sorry?"

Staring at Baekhyun and his new friend, I make my decision. "I’ll be your partner."

•••

Okay… Maybe I was too hasty in agreeing to this whole dance competition thing. I should have waited to make a decision when I was in a better state of mind.

It’s been a good four weeks since I agreed to be Jongin’s partner—four weeks of pure hell.

If I had known what kind of dance moves were incorporated in this routine I never ever would have agreed. The choreography appears simple and subtle enough on the surface, especially thanks to Jongin’s gifted skills, but that’s the problem. It’s not simple; it’s a fucking ankle breaker. It’s pure well-organized insanity and I don’t know how much more of it that I can take.

"From the top," Jongin’s voice echoes in the dance studio. He presses a remote to start the song over again. I try to stay focused, ignoring the looming figures of the other hostile dancers in the room. Why they all gathered here to watch us practice today, I have no idea, but it isn’t helping me at all.

The bass booming from the stereo speakers vibrates the wood under my feet. Sweat permeates the air. Their predator-like stares break me down from the inside out. The memory of Baekhyun with that woman pops into my mind...

"5, 6, 7-"

Shit!

Gasps echo around the room when it happens: I collapse onto the floor, clutching onto my throbbing ankle.

"Riley?!" Something about the alarm in Jongin’s voice makes me wince, curling in on myself as everyone’s whispers float into the air.

"Oh my god, is she serious...?"

"See what I mean! She has two left feet. Why is he wasting his time on her?"

"Dumbass can’t even do a single number, let alone a simple choreography. The way he chose that over me…"

I try my best to reel in my emotions, to keep the hurt from being seen on my face, but there’s only so much I can bear—there’s only so much I can take.

Tears pelt down my face while their loud gasps and delighted giggles fill the air. I make a move to climb to my feet, ready to bolt out of here and never step foot in this place again when a gentle hand on my shoulder stops me.

"Riley." It’s Jongin, crouching down to meet my eye. "Are you okay?"

I can only shake my head, losing my breath as their taunting voices swirl around my head like a whirlpool, consuming me whole.

"Riley, stay with me." Jongin rests both his hands on my shoulders, directing my eyes to his whenever I look away. "Talk to me. What’s wrong?"

"I-I," I choke, covering my face in my hands before I sob pathetically on the hardwood floor. The throbbing of my backside and ankle only makes it worse.

"Ri-"

"Look at her! Pathetic at it’s finest."

Jongin stiffens, I don’t even need to see him to know that he’s gone rigid. His hand slips off my shoulder as I watch his silhouette rise from the spaces between my fingers, standing to his full height.

"Mind sharing with the class what you just said, Kim Nora?" He looks at the woman in the middle of the 5 dancers leaning against the far wall, his jaw clenching.

"I-"

"If you have something to say, say it."

"I’ve been waiting for this opportunity for years. Years, Jongin!" She snaps, her shrill voice bouncing off of the walls. "I’m on time for every rehearsal. I practice until I bleed. Why does this no-name slut get to come in here and take it from me when she can’t even stand on her own two feet?!"

"Kim Nora." The way he says her name has everyone on edge. My back prickles in fear and secondhand embarrassment. He’s not even directing that stone cold tone at me and I’m hella uncomfortable sitting here.

"Who’s dance studio is this, Nora?"

"Yours-" She looks away, not brave enough to meet his eyes anymore. "-M-Mr. Kim..."

Jongin hums, holding his hands behind his back while pacing up and down the floor. "Who’s name is on the sign out front, everyone?"

"Yours, Mr. Kim." They chime in sync with meek voices. A look of regret painted on every single one of their faces.

"Mine." He concludes, satisfied before turning his dark eyes back onto Nora. "Let me explain something to you, Nora."

Her eyes stay focused on the floor.

"This is my practice, my building." He stops pacing, stretching his arms out to showcase the room. "You are under my roof." He looks dead at her, eyes colder than ice. "You are here because I let you. Do you understand that?"

"Y-yes, sir, but I-"

"Next time," He cuts her off, "You decide to be immature. Next time, you decide that your knowledge is anything close to my expertise." He steps closer, and I’ve never seen a person standing 3 feet away have such an impact on an individual. "Next time, you decide to mock one of my friends." He lowers his voice, and I can feel the heavy promise coming off him in waves. "You are gone. Do you understand me?"

Nora babbles something unintelligible, tears brimming her eyeliner caked eyes.

"Do you understand me?"

"Y-yes!" She sucks in a breath, snot clogging her nose as she directs her eyes back to the floor. "Yes, sir."

"Good." He steps away, turning on his heel before rushing back over to me. "Riley," His voice is softer now, much like the Jongin who helped rescue me from my birthday party 2 years ago.

"Hey..." I hush, lowering my hands to my lap.

"Are you okay?" He hands me a clean towel, his brows furrowed in worry. "How’s your ankle?"

"I-It’s fine."

He raises a brow, reaching out a hand to me. "May I?"

"Yeah." I sigh, noticing the familiar look of concern on his face.

Jongin takes my ankle into his hands, handling it carefully and pressing a few places. "Does it hurt?" His frown deepens when I wince. "And here?"

"Yeah," I nod, my face pinched up in pain.

"From 1 to 10," He continues, looking me dead in the eyes, "How much pain are you in?"

My lips part to answer, but I pause, biting the bullet and wiggling my ankle around to see how bad it actually is. "F-four out of ten." I grit out, still so sensitive that tears sting my eyes again.

"It’s sprained." He concludes, gently lowering it back to the floor.

"W-what does that mean?" I ask fearfully. Whatever it means, it doesn’t sound good with the contest 6 weeks away. Shit, why am I such a fuck up? What if I can’t perform let alone learn the choreography in time? I’m such a failure, I-

"It’s not bad," He reassures, resting a comforting hand on my arm. "A few days off of it and you should be good as new."

"R-really?"

Jongin nods, smiling softly. "Nothing a few days off can’t fix."

"Oh, thank you," I whisper in relief, wrapping my arms around his neck to mask the tears that escape my eyes. "Thank you, thank you."

"No," Jongin shakes his head, hugging me warmly, whispering just as quietly in my ear. "Thank you."

•••

After that day, none of the dancers have bothered me, let alone showed up to any more dance practices. Jongin made sure of that. No one fucked around with him either after the way he resolved the issue. An angry Jongin is a scary Jongin; that much I know now.

Sighing softly, I look up at the fluffy clouds overhead, trying to salvage the calm that washes over me in wake of April’s flourishing weather. The flowers are more alive than ever. Small animals and other critters run around for food on the ground. The world around me is the picture-perfect example of nature at its finest—so why is there an uneasy feeling weighing on my chest?

Work is going well and the book we had spent months and months preparing was released last week. I’m on my way to the nearest bookstore to grab a copy for myself. To check that no grammar related errors got past my keen eyes or because I genuinely enjoy the novel, who knows. I want to see the final product for myself and check out other releases. It’s about time I pick up another book besides the one I stayed up countless nights making sure everything was finalized.

A cute bell chimes when I step through the door, hit with the aroma of fresh coffee. Every time I go to a bookstore or library, it’s like I am stepping into another world. The shelves filled to the brim with hundreds, maybe thousands of literature, all at the touch of your fingertips.

From ebooks to the dusty classics, I love them all. I may not read everything; I might be one of the pickiest readers out there, but I appreciate the blood, sweat, and tears that go into every completed book. Good or bad, the author has big balls for trying and putting their name out there. I have mad respect for that.

Venturing further into the shop, my eyes catch the Fantasy section with ease. I make my way over, already seeing a colorful display set out for the newest releases. The sight of the book I’m looking for brings a smile to my face. It feels different to see it in a store instead of reading the rough drafts in the comfort of my bed. Damn the graphic designers put their foot in the cover; it captures the personalities of the main characters perfectly. I couldn’t be more proud.

My smile widens the closer I get to the display, realizing that there is only one copy left of the book. Deserved; everyone from the author to the marketing team have done their best to make this book a big seller. Thankfully the universe left one just for me.

Just as my fingertips touch the edge of the paperback cover, someone else’s hand brushes against mine.

"Oh! Sorry-"

"Ah, I’m so sor-"

My heart plummets and my head snaps up to look at them at once. Puppy brown eyes that I could identify out of countless others and a million stars stare wide-eyed right back into mine.

Fuck.

"Riley?" He breathes, his handsome face painted in disbelief.

I can only wheeze, my chest throbbing as if my heart will explode.

Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck—

Before he can say another word, before I can crumble in front of his questioning orbs, I turn on my heel and sprint out of there like a bat out of hell.

I’ve been doing better, I’m slowly healing from it all, but the moment I see his face—his sweet, tired, kicked-puppy face, I fold quicker than an umbrella in an incoming hurricane. It hurts worse than the force of an 18-wheeler. My whole world full of its fragile edges and duct tape unravels under the weight.

Normally, I wouldn’t do this.

…

Okay scratch that—I used to do this. All the damn time, but with the way our lives have changed and that one conversation we had back in March 2 years ago I… I haven’t been able to bring myself to talk to him. I’ve made it my mission to avoid Sehun.

I know what he will say the minute I tell him what’s up: I told you so—the bane of my existence. That one phrase alone is enough to keep me from confessing so many things. I rather suffer in silence than hear that sentence, but… This is different.

No matter how much it pains me and paints me in shame, I need to tell my best friend what's been going on. After everything he has done for me since our childhood... I owe him that much. So here I am now.

I chew on my bottom lip and knock firmly on his apartment door, waiting for someone to answer with bated breath.

It opens a few minutes later, revealing his unmistakable tall form as he dries his hair. Sehun does a double take. "Shorty?" He breathes in disbelief, pausing in ruffling his messy black locks.

I laugh a little, warmth sparking in my aching heart from the nickname. "Yeah," I breathe, managing a wobbly smile, already feeling tears prickle my eyes. "That's me."

We stare at each other for a long moment, nothing but the distant swish of driving cars and the muffled conversations happening beyond the open balcony on his floor fills the silence. Ah… My heart squeezes painfully in my chest. I shouldn’t have come here. He’s probably busy enough as it is-

As if reading my mind, Sehun’s gaze softens. He throws the towel around his neck before opening his arms. "Come here."

I bury myself in his chest without hesitation, soaking the fabric of his black t-shirt with my tears. "I’m sorry," I croak, holding back sobs.

"Hey, hey," a low, soothing voice chimes in, resting a hand on my arm. "What happened?"

"I don’t know," Sehun mumbles, rubbing my back as I shake in his arms. "But whoever did it will be missing an arm."

"N-No need, Hun," I sniffle with a shaky sigh, pulling away from his embrace. A chill covers my skin with goosebumps the moment I step away. It’s been like this all week; feeling hot to the touch, yet shaking like a leaf at the same time. I have no idea what is going on, and at this point… I don’t want to know. I can say that for a lot of things.

Wiping my face with the back of my hand, I turn around, smiling apologetically at the brown-haired man standing in the doorway. "I’m sorry for popping up out of the blue, Lu."

"Nonsense," Luhan shakes his head, his curly hair partially covering his worry-filled eyes. He takes my hand between his, "Come in, I’ll make us some tea."

"Okay," I whisper, shuffling into their apartment. I take the tissue box he offers me, following him into the spacious living room. He goes into the kitchen while I sit down on their couch, my breath hitching from the emotions budding in my chest.

Sehun closes the door, noisily walking on the wooden floor in his flip flops. He sits down next to me, questioning me with his unwavering stare, but I can’t bring myself to meet his eye. I… I don’t know where to begin; I can’t even find the words. The squeal of the teapot in the other room fills the tense silence between us.

"Alright," He sighs, propping his foot up on the coffee table and resting his arm on his knee before giving me a hard look. "What did Byun do?"

I choke, snapping my eyes to his, "How do you know?"

"You never visit," He points out in the driest of tones. "And when you do, you always call first."

I can only lower my head, pulling my knees to my chest.

"You don’t usually cry after seeing my face either. I mean," He continues, nudging me with his elbow. "Am I ugly or something?"

I snort. "Shut up." Shaking my head, I sigh deeply. "I just… A lot has happened." Risking a peek at him, my shoulders relax at the worried furrow of his brows and the care in his sharp brown eyes.

He nods, smiling the softest that I’ve seen in a long time. "I got time."

I smile a little, my chest bursting in gratefulness for having a friend like him in my life. No matter what happens or what I get into, I can always count on Sehun to be there.

…

If only I didn’t have so much baggage to bring to his door.

"I…" Come on; I ball my hands into the fabric of my shirt. Say it.

Sehun keeps his eyes on me and I struggle more to get the words out, my chest starting to heave. Should I be here? Should I be doing this? What will he say? What if this just makes everything worse—

No.

Sehun is my best friend. We have shared so many memories together, the good and the bad. I was the first person he came out to. He was there when my father walked out of my life. I cheered him on as he climbed the ranks of his weight training team. He helped me catch fireflies in my backyard when all I could rely on was my poor eyesight.

It’s always been him and I against this cruel world. One man—one boy, won’t change that overnight.

"I broke up with Baekhyun."

"What?!" Sehun leaps off of the couch. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah..." I drag out, looking him up and down in confusion. Panic hits me in the gut. "W-Why? What’s wrong-"

"Dude!" He exclaims, tangling his hands in his hair, the most comically distressed expression on his normally 'bitch’ face. "I thought he broke up with you."

The thought of what would have happened if Baekhyun had been the one to dump me makes my heart hurt so much I feel the color drain from my face.

"H-Hey," Sehun immediately takes notice, waving his hands around. "Not on the couch, anywhere but the couch-"

Luhan suddenly appears behind him with a tray of drinks, lovingly smacking the back of his head. "Here," He soothes, ignoring Sehun’s pelulant whines while setting down the tray on the coffee table and offering a mug to me.

"Thank you, Lu." I breathe, smiling when the scent of lemon and ginger hits my nose.

Luhan takes the seat on the other side of me, resting a comforting hand on my knee. "We’re here." He nods, sharing a look with Sehun before focusing back on me with the gentlest of eyes. "Whenever you are ready."

Gulping, I curl my fingers around my mug, the warmth of the tea and their soft eyes giving me the strength to open up.

I am finally able to put everything into words… I just hope we all make it out unscathed.

Closing my eyes, I start from the very beginning, updating them on what has happened since the year we started dating. The summer fight I never told Sehun about, Baekhyun’s ex Haneul following me around. The French lady at the photoshoot, the model behind the scenes. Our fight that reached the public. What went down at the Byun’s house… And finally… how I ran, and never looked back.

Sehun’s facial expressions shift from one extreme to the next throughout my confession. At one point I have to look away from him, stuttering the more I see the disappointment in his eyes. By the end of it, I’m mumbling to the lukewarm mug between my palms rather than them.

My words trail off into silence, nothing but the ticking of Luhan’s treasured grandfather clock making a sound. I’ve grown to hate this the most: the empty space that leaves room for my thoughts to sneak up on me again.

"You were hiding all of this..." Sehun speaks up, betrayal joining the disappointment in his eyes. "All this time."

A lump forms in my throat, "I-"

"You kept this to yourself for years." He grits out, his voice growing sadder by the minute. "Years, Riley."

"I’m sorry," I sob, curling up into a ball, choking on my tears. "I’m s-so sorry."

"Why?" He runs a hand through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut.

"I-I didn’t wanna bother you," I babble, gasping so much for air I choke even more. "You’re busy with work and your own love life, who am I to bother you with my problems?" Tears blur my vision and stain my glasses, rolling uncomfortably down the bridge of my nose. "Isn’t that what growing up is about?" I whisper, staring lifelessly down at my untouched tea. "Learning how to depend on yourself?"

"Riley, I don’t care if you’re fucking 80." Sehun barks, scaring me until he opens his arms, forgiveness swirling in his softened brown eyes. "You can come to me for anything."

"O-Okay," I mumble, hiding in his chest.

"Do you hear me?"

"Yes."

"I don’t care if you shave your relaxed hair, adopt a cat, or the world is on fire." He proclaims sternly. "No matter what, you can always come to me."

The comforting smell of fresh laundry on his clothes has my shoulders relaxing, my sobs quieting down to small hiccups. "Okay."

"Good. Now take these sweaters back."

His words take a few moments to register in my sluggish mind. "Huh?" I blink, lifting my head off of him, sitting up fully and immediately recognizing the bundle of clothes in Luhan’s hands. "No," I shake my head, ignoring how dizzy I suddenly feel. "Sehun, those are yours-"

"And I want you to have them."

"I-" My heart constricts in conflict, "But-"

"But nothing. You act like I don’t know that your ass gets cold." He mutters grumpily, crossing his arms. "Keep them, alright?" Being the observant guy that he is, he picks up on my weary glance at Luhan. "Lu chipped in some of his too."

"Mine are comfier," His boyfriend jokes, smiling cheekily.

"Yah."

"You know it’s the truth."

"Only because you—yah! Why are you crying now?!"

"I just…" I sniffle, laughing softly. "I love you guys."

Luhan’s smile brightens while I whine over Sehun messing up my hair. "We love you more."

•••

May passes by in the blink of an eye, mature plants welcoming the upcoming summer heat. I love and hate this for two reasons. One, it’s a certain someone-who-shall-not-be-named birth month. Two, the dance competition is two weeks away. Two weeks. It is literally May 20th and I am sweating my hair out over it.

Why did I agree to this forsaken competition again? Oh right—I decided that a two-step routine is the equivalent of a love triangle. Nice going, Riley.

I sigh, wiping my forehead with the back of my arm. Two weeks until the competition means that my schedule is more packed. Yeah Park’s Publishing may be on an "easy going" break from publishing books right now, but I’m not getting a breather.

Nope, the moment I jokingly told Jongin how I didn’t know what to do with all my free time, he brought up daily dance practice—no, he down right demanded it. And when I started to complain:

"What? It’s not like you have anything else better to do."

I’ve been seething over that for a week.

Huffing at the memory, I plop my bag not-so-subtly on a chair before looking at Jongin on the other side of the room.

"Glaring at me won’t help you perfect the choreo faster-"

"Suck my dick."

"Oh, baby," He grins, raising a brow. "I would if I could." He saunters his way over to me, his beautiful bronze skin already glowing in a thin sheen of sweat when he leans down to face me, "but I don’t mind either way."

I push him away with a hard roll of my eyes, "Let’s get this over with."

"Feisty," He humors. "Someone is feeling better today."

"Better enough to kick your ass," I mutter, tying up my hair in a messy bun.

"Let’s rehearse the second verse," He takes a swing of his water bottle, a serious expression on his features. "Then we’ll talk."

"Bring it on," I lift my chin, playing tough despite the nervousness washing over me.

He nods, grabbing the stereo remote and getting into position. "Show me what you got."

We go over the steps one last time before we begin. The first half of the choreo goes smoothly… and then I stumble the moment the second chorus hits.

"Let’s take a break."

"No," I shake my head, resting my hands on my knees.

"Riley."

"One more time." I pant, trying to catch my breath. "I swear I got it, just-"

"We’ve been at it for 30 minutes."

"But-"

"Break. Now."

I flop to the floor in a tired heap, groaning loudly to annoy him. I’m grateful he called for a break though, my flat feet are crying for mercy like no one’s business. Maybe I should—"Ah," I sigh in relief.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking off my shoes," I mumble, throwing him a look over my shoulder, not liking his attitude. "My feet are dying over here."

Jongin raises a brow, leaning against the mirror on the other side of the room. "Your parents didn’t see a pediatrician about that?"

"Nope."

"Why?"

"Born and raised in America," I chirp. "The land of the free, Mother fucka."

Both his brows shoot up. "Are you feverous?"

"No," I mumble, fiddling with a loose string on my shirt. "It’s really hot out."

"Have you been sleeping?" His eyes narrow at my lack of response. "Riley?"

"Oh would you look at that, the ceiling tiles have a noticeable gap between them-"

"Sit down."

"I’m fine." I sigh, reluctantly dragging myself over to the only chair in the room.

"You won’t be if you keep this up." He points out, more than a little peeved. "Have you been drinking enough?"

"I-"

He thrusts his water bottle in front of me. "Drink this."

"But you drank from it!"

"I’ll give you mouth to mouth too if you don’t sit your ass down."

I blink, giving him a long, wide-eyed stare. "Why so serious?" The fed up expression on his face is enough of an answer. "Okay—okay! Fine." Inspecting the bottle for anything floating around on the bottom, I tilt my head back to pour some water in my mouth, mumbling with stuffed cheeks, "There, happy?"

Jongin just sighs, turning on a rotating fan. "Stay here. I don’t want you moving until you finish that bottle."

"Sir yes sir," I mutter, giving a little salute. Grinning when he glares sternly at me. He sighs before going back to the other side of the room.

Watching him practice his solo parts in the mirror, I leisurely sip from the bottle, noticing how his shirt sticks to his fit body. Jongin is tall, a bit broad, and lean. He has a dancer’s body and muscle in all the right places—I can’t imagine his diet. I shiver at the thought of it, checking my forehead. I’m not picky about fitness; I’m a bit on the curvy side myself. I rather have something to sink my fingers into. Speaking of which...

"Hey, Jongin?" I call him tentatively, continuing when he hums. "Why… Why did you make a choreo with me in mind?"

He doesn’t respond for a minute, and I wonder if he will until he goes over to retrieve something from his bag. "I always wanted to dance with you," He admits, throwing a towel around his neck. "To know what it was like to view your beauty up close." He bends his knee, bracing his foot against the wall as my eyes widen. "The way you move, twirl around, and glide across the floor. The blissed out expression on your face… You are at home on the dancefloor, and it shows." He looks up at me then. "You shine brighter than a million stars."

I forget how to breathe for a moment, staring at him with wide eyes and a racing heart.

"I’ve never been envious of Baekhyun but..." His sultry eyes meet mine again. "When it comes to you, it’s hard to fight my jealousy."

My lips part a few times, endless questions dying on the tip of my tongue. Realizing I’m gaping like a fish out of water, I settle for looking down with a hot blush.

Jongin chuckles, tossing his towel onto his bag. "Come on," He pushes off of the wall, walking over to me and taking me by the hand. "Let’s finish up for today."

"I can stand up on my own, you know?" I grumble. "...Thank you."

He just smiles before we take our positions in the middle of the room.

We take it from the top again, soaring through the routine without a hiccup. I put all my energy into not missing a step, dancing beside and around him with ease—

"Stop."

"What?" I blink, turning around to him. "What’s wrong now?"

"That."

"What?" I repeat, my eyes narrowing.

"That." He emphasises, gesturing to me. "You’re too tense. You need to relax."

"How do you expect me to relax, Jongin?" I mumble heatedly, hurt swelling inside of my chest. "I broke up with the love of my life. I had a shitty week. I can barely do the second verse of the choreo without breaking my ankles-"

"You can’t relax," He speaks up, suddenly standing in front of me. Staring into my eyes with his determined ones. "Because you don’t want to."

"I-"

"You fear what will happen if you do." He continues, holding me captive with his piercing gaze. "You fear the unknown."

"D-Don’t I have the right to...?" I hush, feeling my heart race the longer I look into his observant brown eyes. A part of me hates it; being read like an open book. My vulnerabilities and weak points on display without me wanting them to be. But this is Jongin.

He stares deep into my eyes, his minty breath washing over my cheeks. "Not on my watch."

There’s nothing to fear.

He selects a song for the stereo to play, and the moment a certain afrobeat instrumental plays through its speakers, I feel the urge to move my body deep in my soul.

"Let go," He encourages, turning around to meet my eyes in the reflection of the mirror.

Woman

Let me be your woman

Woman, woman, woman

I can be your woman

Woman, woman, woman

I’m intimidated by my reflection in the mirror. The sight of me with messy hair, dewy skin, baggy clothes, and my bare feet makes me feel like the wildest looking woman in the world… until I see the sadness and fear visible in my own eyes.

Let me be your woman

Woman, woman, woman

I can be your woman

Woman, woman, woman

Slowly, I move my hips to the beat, getting a feel for it while watching myself in the mirror. My awkward posture makes me tsk, shifting into a more flattering and stable position.

What you need?

She give tenfold, come here, papa, plant your seed

She can grow it from her womb, a family

Provide lovin' overlooked and unappreciated, you see (Yeah)

The lyrics… A sense of empowerment washes over me in waves, motivating the swirl of my hips and the smile forming on my lips. The melody of the song begins to seep into my very bones, warming me up from the inside out.

You can reciprocate

I got delicious taste, you need a woman's touch in your place

Just protect her and keep her safe

Baby, worship my hips and waist

So feminine with grace

I touch your soul when you hear me say, "Boy"

Let me be your woman

Winding my waist feels like the most natural thing in the world, circling my wrists while bringing my hands back down to my sides. I can see Jongin’s proud smile from the corner of my eye.

My movements get more energetic as the chorus plays again, the repetitive lyrics flowing like the blood in my veins, felt deep in my very being. Hitting me on a level that very few things ever could.

I glide across the floor when the second verse begins, letting my hair loose and throwing my weight around. The soreness of my waist only makes me shimmer harder, fighting against the aches trying to hold me back—against the chains locked in my mind.

Princess or queen, tomboy or king (Yeah)

You've heard a lot, you've never seen (Nah)

Mother Earth, Mother Mary rise to the top

Divine feminine, I'm feminine (Why?)

Throwing my hands up, I smile as Jongin starts complimenting my movements, playing a smooth rhythmic cat and mouse game with him all over the dance studio. My bare feet on the wooden floor propels me forward, making me feel more connected with the Earth around me, with the woman I want to be.

I’ve caught up to him by the time the song ends, breathing heavily with giddiness pumping in my veins. For the first time in months, maybe even years, I feel like me again—I’ve found myself again.

A hand tucking hair behind my ear has my eyes snapping up to Jongin’s, the adoring expression in his chestnut brown eyes making me feel small and appreciated at the same time. He cradles my face in the palm of his hand, rubbing his thumb over the apple of my cheek. Tingles erupt on my skin; my heart swells with something I haven’t felt in a long time when he starts to lean in.

"You were out fucking Jongin."

I flinch away, pressing my back to the wall, my heart in my throat. "I-I," I look away, hot embarrassment painting my face red. "I don’t want to make you a rebound." A thought occurs to me at that moment: how much taller and stronger Jongin is than me. The consequence of my actions. The vacant practice room. Fearing the worst, I hold my breath, squeezing my eyes shut.

Nothing happens for a while, the silence dragging on for so long that I start to grow lightheaded, cursing myself for agreeing to all of this in the first place.

Are you happy?

I pause, thinking hard for a moment. Despite the rain cloud constantly hanging over my head, I am doing something that I love. Regardless of me looking like pure shit, Jongin sees a light in me. And against all the fucking odds, I… I feel liberated. I feel free.

With that, I open my eyes, staring fearlessly at the man in front of me.

To my surprise, Jongin smiles. "I don’t want to overstep my boundaries," He mumbles, resting his forehead on mine.

A smile breaks out on my face, putting my secret dimples on full display.

It’s finally D Day—the dance competition is just about to begin, and I can’t for the life of me find my bracelet.

"Do you really need that?" Jongin carefully ruffles his styled hair, squinting with one eye over at me.

"It’s for luck," I justify, searching both our bags.

"You depend on a silly little bracelet to give you luck?"

"My grandma made it for me," I snap, my blood pressure skyrocketing.

"Okay, okay—you," He gently takes me by the shoulders, directing me to his chair. "Sit. I’ll find it."

Finding that all-too-familiar 'no nonsense’ expression on his face, I sigh, carefully covering my eyes with my hand. Both of us got our makeup done for today. He’s got on a golden glimmer of eyeshadow to bring out the sultry brown of his eyes, and I’m rocking a burgundy shade that makes my eyes have their own sensual glare in the mirror.

Tucking my hair-sprayed hair behind my ear, I wince at the thought of washing it out later, but the end result is worth it. My brown hair is bone-straight, complementing Jongin’s lavender-gray, middle-parted hair. Not gonna lie, he’s a total eye-candy right now in that red jacket and mesh shirt, and his stage presence is to die for. His oozing confidence just pumps me up even more.

Watching him pull out my bracelet from some hidden department that I have never seen before in my life and come over to strap it onto my wrist with the gentlest touch has newfound hope blossoming in my heart. We came to perform and we came to perform well.

As if hearing my thoughts, Jongin looks up at me at that moment, nodding firmly.

I nod right back, smiling softly. Win or lose, we are going to give it our all.

We make our way out of the dressing room, listening for our cue from the staff member next to the gap leading out onto the stage. They give directions to someone in their headset before giving us the signal.

I can hear the crowd as we step onto the stage, vibrating the floor under us and my whole being with their excited cheers. Nerves aren't pumping furiously through my veins. No, pure adrenaline guides me forward, and the reassuring smile Jongin sends my way makes me at ease all the more.

When the lights dim and the music starts, my hands are already in my hair, my hips popping to the beat.

Just let it flow as it is for me.

As it moves, show me.

I slide down into a crouch, spreading my knees before rolling my neck to the beat. Quickly standing back up, I slowly run my hands through my hair, swaying my hips side to side. I stop moving to let the crowd focus on Jongin, watching him with a smile.

The party has been getting boring.

Jongin starts doing his own thing while I beckon him closer with a body roll, strutting to him on the other side of the stage. I strike a different pose along to the beat, rubbing my hands over my body and rolling my hips.

Don’t hide it anymore for me

Sliding my hand down my chest, we lock eyes before the chorus hits.

The reason that hides your heart

Do you feel it triggering me a bit?

Here comes the fun part; we sync up our dance moves. Shooting each other little smiles while staying on beat. My long hair sways in the wind; the feeling of being free—free to be me striking me with a sense of comfort in this moment. Jongin catches my eye as if he feels it as well, his killer smirk morphing into a heartwarming smile.

Baby don’t play with me

I slow down to sway my hips to the beat while Jongin slides behind me, pressing his firm chest to my back. The ripples of his abs brush against me through the fabric of his mesh-shirt, warming my sun-kissed skin under the light heat of the partially cloudy sky. His hand tucks under my chin when I face him for the next lyric, "You’re my VIP."

(She talkin’ about)

We sync up again for the next part of the choreography, making me giggle in delight, beaming over the fact that I might have cried a hundred times practicing this choreo but I can finally say that I can dance it without breaking my ankles. And the proud smile on Jongin’s face adds onto that fact.

He points out to the crowd and we change positions as the pre chorus starts again. Jongin acts like the cool, smooth man that he is while I roll my way back to him, matching his moves before blowing a kiss to the crowd when the chorus kicks back in again.

Top down ya

It could be you and me, it could be you and me

I place my hand on Jongin’s shoulder, strutting around him while he shrugs off his jacket. Preparing for the bridge that we changed last minute. Now it’s his time to shine.

Now let me give you what you want tonight

You told me

I take a step back, focusing on complimenting his movements while he has his moment to woo the crowd. Those charming smirks and attractive smiles can steal the heart of anyone, especially the cheering people standing in the front row. There’s a lot of things I’ve learned recently about Jongin, and his unmistakable stage presence is one of them.

The chorus comes back one final time and we go all out. Dancing until our feet ache and the wind picks up around us. The sweet smell of tteokbokki and summer breeze in the air brings another smile to my face. Jongin gets down on the floor while I kneel on one knee to straddle his lap, looking into his eyes with his finger tucked under my chin as the last lyrics of the song fades away.

There’s a long moment of silence, and then the crowd erupts into cheers. Applauding so loud it overwhelms my sensitive ears. Jongin and I step forward to take one last bow, smiling at each other before making our way off stage… but a certain, persistent stare has my eyes flickering back to the crowd. The glimmer of silver hair in the front row is all I allow myself to see before hurrying to leave.

"That was," I start, gasping for breath by the time we reach the dressing room. "Fucking amazing!"

Jongin smiles, glancing over at me, "You liked it, huh?"

"Dude—I fucking lived for it!"

He laughs and it’s super cute, especially with his wide smile.

"That was so cool," I sigh, flopping down onto the couch.

Jongin raises a brow, a smile still on his plump lips. "Would you do it again?-"

"Hell no!" I squeak. "Well… Not unless it’s with you." His eyes dance under the painfully bright lights. "Stop smirking, I take it back."

"Don’t worry." He chuckles, crossing his arms as he leans back against the vanity table. "You’ll be the first one I call next time too."

We’re called back up onto the stage before I can reply, but the smile I beam his way speaks volumes. However, nerves are plaguing my mind this time around. There’s no mistaking the silver hair that I saw in the crowd.

Just as I thought, when we are standing next to the other contestants, there he is. Front and center. I close my eyes with a deep sigh. What the fuck, man? Why are you everywhere?! Can I catch a break from him please? Please?!

Tension builds in my body, but then something cracks.

You know what—

I clench my fists. Fuck him. It doesn’t matter if he’s here or not; he’s no longer a part of my life. Why should I care?

My eyes don’t stray far from the judge and Jongin, even with the constant itch of Baekhyun’s stare. Take a picture, it’ll last longer, asshole.

The minutes seem to drag on as the judge gives his big speech, listing the criterias and rubric for calculating the winner. A whole lot of gibberish that I have no interest in listening to; I hope Jongin is paying attention. The knowing look he gives me when we briefly make eye contact confirms it. Yep, I smile sheepishly. Sorry.

That damn ticklish sensation on my skin still hasn’t moved while the couple in 3rd place steps forward to receive their reward. I swear to the heavens, Byun Baekhyun—

Snapping my neck around, I glare right at him despite my heart dropping at the sight.

He stands in the front row, sticking out like a sore thumb from the rest of the crowd in his black hoodie and dark jeans. The only thing that makes him pop is his ever-silver hair… and the bouquet of flowers in his hand.

My heart races. Are those—

"And the winner is: Jongin and Riley!"

The crowd roars in excitement, everyone standing up to applaud us as the judge hands Jongin the trophy and a helper places a ribbon around my shoulders. I can’t help but beam at Jongin, both of us smiling wide enough for our mouths to hurt later, but I don’t worry about that now. This is our moment. I throw my arms around him, laughing loudly when he sets down the trophy to spin me around in the air.

"We did it!" I wrap my arm carefully around his neck, pumping my fist in the air.

Jongin sets me back down, keeping his arms loosely around my waist. "You," He plants a kiss on the top of my head, "did it."

I can’t erase the smile on my face or the glee in my heart even if I tried. My eyes glance back out at the crowd while he goes around congratulating the other contestants, immediately locking onto those soul-sucking, puppy brown eyes. Half a year later and his eyes never fail to make me feel nothing and everything all at once. But I won’t let that define me: I’m not Baekhyun’s woman anymore.

Spectators in the crowd around him are buzzing with energy, dancing to the outro music they are playing overhead while he continues to stand stock-still, his brown eyes focused on me.

My mind drifts for a second, imagining what it would have been like to be standing up on this stage with him, winning the competition with him by my side. I acknowledge it, let my mind have its little reminiscing moment—and then nip it right in the bud.

I don’t want to live a life of 'What ifs?’ anymore—I want to experience those 'Why nots?’ instead.

I sense Jongin before he steps closer, his chest brushing against the back of my arm. "Are you ready to go?" He asks, his lips grazing my ear.

I continue to lock eyes with Baekhyun, laughing inwardly at the unreadable expression on his face and the lack of a sparkle in his eyes. And when that tall raven from months ago runs to pull him into a hug, my gaze doesn’t waver from his in the slightest. "Yes." I turn my back on him and rest my hand on Jongin’s bicep with a swirl of my hips, peeking at him from under my eyelashes.

He smiles down at me, understanding dawning in his eyes. We link our arms together while walking backstage and out of the stadium.

•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 P(1) P(2) | Part 4 P(1) P(2) | Part 5 P(1) P(2) | Part 6 P(1) P(2) —– P(3) P(4) —– P(5) P(6) ✓ ||| ♬♩♪♩ FINALE P(1) P(2)

A/N: Team Jongin or Team Baekhyun? After that dance practice scene, my heart is stuck somewhere in between 💔

Hiya! Long time no see (^-^)

I don't have much to say ahh (>.<) my brain is fried. The emotions in this chapter came from a week of sleepless nights and a marathon of Doja Cat's Planet Her <3 I still got 10 scenes to finish up before Six Phases will be completed. This isn't the end! Just the best cliffhanger I could do with a 100+ page doc (thanks to my nearsightedness. font-size 16 is a lifesaver)

I might suddenly drop the Finale out of nowhere :'D everything depends on Riley~

Thank you so much for reading and supporting this story!! 🥺🥰🌸💗 Writing this baby (haha) is my favorite thing to do and to share it with all of you means the world to me <333 Alright, I'll stop being mushy. Have a great weekend, lovelies! See you as soon as the Finale is done~

Happy two years of Un Village & city lights!!

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Thank you endless Baekhyunee for inspiring me. I wouldn't be here without you ❤️

#baekhyun angst #baekhyun romance #baekhyun fanfiction #bbh-net #baekhyun #Team J or Team B?#Six Phases

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away-from-anthills · 3 years

Text

chapter two-

(prologue) (chapter one)

“Let all cats, old enough to catch their own prey…”

“Already?” muttered Stoatslink. A dash of doubt sat behind the white tom’s yellow eyes. “It’s been almost too soon for Shalestar to make a decision…”

Stoatslink’s tone stuck on Antstep like a burr. Had it been too soon? No- Shalestar had to know what he was doing. Antstep knew of Shalestar’s wisdom more than he knew of his own nest.

“Who do you think it’s going to be?” Russetfoot padded up next to him, his red tabby shoulder touching Antstep’s solid dark brown one. “I’d bet on Shadeflower, personally-“ -he beckoned with his tail to the dark gray tabby molly that sat at the edge of the nursery- “-but I think my brother could do a good job. My mate, too- but she wouldn’t want to follow her brother’s footsteps.”

Stripedwing and Rainleap had been close as kits, but had naturally drifted apart over time. She wanted to be a tunneler, and lacked ambition; he wanted to be a moor runner, and had had his sights on leadership since apprenticeship. There were no hard feelings between either of them- and Antstep recalled a dawn patrol not long ago where Rainleap said he intended to share tongues with his sister more.

Antstep had felt an envy towards Rainleap then. Rainleap, at least, had a sibling. Antstep had none.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Antstep realized Russetfoot was waiting on an answer from him. “So? What do you think? Did Shalestar tell you anything when he asked for you?”

“I- uh-“ Antstep tried to stall the conversation- but thankfully, Shalestar was already about to begin, and Russetfoot’s eyes had left Antstep to focus on the old scarred blue-gray tom.

“I realize it has been only a short while since I announced the loss of Rainleap to the Clan. However, we must follow the Warrior Code- even in unprecedented situations like this. I promised a new deputy by moonhigh, and my Clan shall get one. I have come to the conclusion of which WindClan member shall become your next deputy. I ask only that you be kind to him. He may not be an obvious choice, but with a bit of experience as deputy, he will learn quickly.”

It felt as all the Clan were eyeing each other. Half of Antstep wanted to puff out his chest with pride. The other half, meanwhile, wanted to shrink inwards and disappear.

“I say these words now, before StarClan, so our ancestors- Rainleap among them, now- may hear and approve of my choice. The new deputy of WindClan… is Antstep.”

There was a silence of deliberation for a moment, and then a gasp or two. Molethroat and Cherrycloud, who were near the back of the sandy hollow by the nursery, seemed to approve. Rockscratch and Russetfoot seemed to be in what Antstep could only assume was awe. He had never felt what it was like to cause awe before.

But there was a tense feeling among some of the others. Talonscar, their eyes still dimmed from mourning their former apprentice, sat in silence, shifting their weight from one paw to another. Sandwhisker looked pleased, but even she seemed to have some doubt about Shalestar’s choice, despite being particularly close to him. Antstep flattened his ears against his chestnut-colored fur as he scaled the rock to stand besides his leader.

“Again, I know he is perhaps not what you expected. But I mentored him myself, and it was I who brought him to WindClan when he was but a kit. I feel like I know Antstep particularly well- he reminds me of myself, when I was about his age. And I was about his age when Marigoldstar elected me as deputy, back before many of you were even born. It may take him a while to learn the ropes as deputy- but when he gets the hang of it, I promise you, he shall be a great deputy- and, perhaps… a great leader, once I pass on.”

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.” Antstep felt his spine coil. That sharp voice belonged to only one cat in the Clan- Sparkthistle. The ginger molly, with bright stripes and a snout that turned slightly upwards, pushed her way to the front of the hollow. “You’re telling us, Shalestar, that you’re replacing Rainleap with this sad sack? He’s not even a proper WindClan cat! He’s just your pet project! There’re so many cats in this Clan- and you choose that excuse of a warrior? He can’t even manage his own apprentice, let alone-“

“Sparkthistle, I am your leader,” Shalestar commanded, a fleck of anger on his tongue. “If you have any complaints, you can talk to me or Whitetooth in the morning.”

Sparkthistle opened her mouth as if she had something more to say- but, she began to flounder, and the shrewish molly backed away into the crowd. Cherrycloud rather embarrassed on Sparkthistle’s behalf, slinking back into the nursery den with Molethroat beside her.

“Meeting dismissed. Webwhisker, Stoatslink, remember it is your duty to keep guard over the camp tonight.”

As WindClan retreated to their dens, and Webwhisker and Stoatslink climbed the walls of the sandy hollow to assume the night watch, the coiled nervousness in Antstep’s belly began to loosen. He left the Tallrock and flexed his claws into the sand below. The moon- which was at the very center of the sky- looked downward upon him, and the hollow was filled with a certain stillness. The cicadas and crickets sang in the distance, and a curious hope began to flow through Antstep’s veins as his amber eyes locked with the moon’s pale one.

I’m WindClan deputy now… it’s my chance! They’re going to finally love me! I’m going to be the best deputy I can be…

It dawned on Antstep that he was not the only one there. He turned to see Whitetooth. The WindClan medicine cat seemed as if they were still analyzing him. They were nearly all white- the color of slightly stale milk- except for their ears, a spot or two on their back, and their tail, which was plumy and brown like a female pheasant.

“I look forward to our partnership and- if you’ll allow me to say it- friendship, Antstep,” they said simply. “As deputy and medicine cat. If you ever need anything- all you have to do is ask.”

Antstep nodded. Even the medicine cat wants to be my friend!

As Whitetooth slunk into their medicine den, where Marblepaw was already fast asleep, Antstep contemplated. He climbed the edge of the sandy hollow- away from Webwhisker and Stoatslink’s positions- and looked towards the east, where the sun would rise and where the marigolds grew.

As sunlight crept into the clearing the next day, Antstep immediately began to try and plot out what his first patrol would be. This was, after all, one of the most important deputy duties. He had to get it just right. Suddenly, the confidence he had had earlier dissipated. What will the Clan think of me if I’m not able to plan this out right? They already hate me, don’t they…

“Well, you may be a good hunter- but I’m far better!”

“You’re not!” “Am too!”

There was a squeal as Twigpaw, in the heat of this little spat, launched himself onto Spiderpaw, grabbing onto her shoulder. However, she was too quick. The dark gray tabby molly shook herself, and Twigpaw let go as soon as he had latched on. She then jumped over and pinned the smaller brown tabby tom onto the sandy earth. As he grunted and tried to free himself, she stood triumphantly.

“Spiderpaw, let him go,” Antstep instructed. She gave it a moment of thought, and- after pushing down on Twigpaw for a moment- let him go. He stuck his tongue out at her.

“Well, just remember, Twigpaw- my mom’s the leading queen and my mentor’s the deputy.”

“Don’t let it get to your head,” warned Antstep, curling his paw around her feet to make sure she didn’t jump back out at him. “If I mess up too bad, you wouldn’t want to even look at me, now, would you?”

“Depends,” she said slyly, her lips curled upward like the biting adder. “But it means I have two on Twigpaw.” She grinned. “Hey, maybe when you’re leader, you could make my mom Shadeflower your deputy! Then Twigpaw won’t even be able to lay a paw on me.”

“Don’t get too ahead of me,” said Antstep. “It’s my first day. …Say, would you like to go on the dawn patrol this morning? You haven’t been out on it in a while.”

Spiderpaw nodded enthusiastically. Antstep felt proud of himself- but then the worries began to nip at his paws again. There’s no way that’s going to work! They’ll all think I’m favoring my own apprentice over the others! What other apprentices are there… Goldenpaw was on patrol just yesterday… Maybe Milkpaw or Coalpaw?...

“You’re up early,” yawned a sleek blue-gray tom. His shadow was identical to Shalestar’s; however, he was a tad shorter and far younger. A white bib-shaped marking covered his chin and chest.

“Oh. Hello, Toadpool,” said Antstep, nodding to acknowledge the blue-and-white cat’s presence.

“I think you’re going to do just fine as deputy.”

“Wh- what makes you say that?” said Antstep. Was his anxiousness that obvious already?

“Deputy jitters,” explained Toadpool, shrugging. “Everyone gets it. Even Grandpa told me that he had them. You’ll do just fine- I trust his choices, after all.”

Toadpool was right. Shalestar had a good head on his shoulders, and neither of them had a reason to doubt him.

“I’m trying to figure out the dawn patrol,” explained Antstep. “I was thinking Spiderpaw and your apprentice Milkpaw could take it this morning. Would you- uh- like to come along?”

“Sure! But you don’t have to ask, you know. Deputies usually just kind of say who’s going on patrol or not.”

Right. Antstep already felt hot embarrassment on his face.

“I have an idea. I can come with you and try to calm your nerves a bit. We can bring our apprentices, too. Maybe you could also take Rockscratch and Sparkthistle? I know you don’t like Sparkthistle and she doesn’t like you, but maybe you could talk it out…”

It was a naïve suggestion. But Antstep didn’t have the heart to tell Toadpool that.

“Sure.”

“Great! I know Grandpa will give you some tips and stuff, but I can tell you if there’s anything I know. And we can train our apprentices together.” He looked over to where Spiderpaw was- she was busy chasing down a centipede that had weaseled its way into the den. “Be careful of her,” he joked. “She’ll eat you alive.”

“Takes a brave one to be her mentor,” Antstep joked back, puffing out his chest with pride.

The sun’s lazy red eye began to peer over the earth, and Antstep’s first patrol slithered through the WindClan grass. It was a quiet morning, and the world seemed as though part of it had stood completely still since Rainleap’s death. Dew stuck to their pelts as they schlepped themselves along the trail.

“If Rainleap were here…” said Sparkthistle in the back of the small group, muttering something off-key to herself. Rockscratch, who was just in front of her, distanced himself.

But Antstep tried to keep his worries behind him, crowded around Sparkthistle instead of wandering to his head. It was his first day, after all. Anything could happen. He could worry later, with the comforts of Shalestar and Whitetooth there to listen.

Spiderpaw ran up to him with a fat mole in her mouth. “Look!” she said, in the muffled way cats do when their mouths are crammed full. “Milkpaw showed me how to catch it. You have to feel their tunnels beneath your paws, and you gotta have the right timing. She told me it’s a tunneler skill. Maybe I should show you how, someday…”

Antstep watched Toadpool sign a joke to Milkpaw, who responded with throaty laughter. He didn’t get the punchline- it was something to do with tunneling, which he had never been familiar with- but he began to think. Why hadn’t Shalestar chosen Toadpool? Shalestar was also fairly close to Toadpool, and had watched him grow up in a similar way as he had with Antstep, although the leader had not mentored him. Toadpool even had something Antstep did not: Toadpool was the son of one of Shalestar’s children, who had perished in that forest fire around the time Antstep had been found by a WindClan patrol.

But then it truly sunk into him, as he watched Toadpool and Sparkthistle converse. He was trying to let her on in the joke, but she responded with overdone apathy, flattening her ears tight like they were strapped to her skull to get him to shut up. Toadpool was too ineffective; too naïve. Tatteredstar and Pigeonstar could tear him apart with one word.

He would make for a great friend. Perhaps a deputy- but as a leader? He would fall apart like dried leaves in a fire, up there on that Great Rock.

Antstep knew Shalestar had to have chosen him for a reason.

But he couldn’t think of what that reason was.

The next few days went by with little incident. Patrols were organized; patrols were sent. Occasionally, when he was out with them, Antstep would see the wandering eye of RiverClan or ShadowClan cats, from deep within their own territories.

Did they notice a change?

Could they tell something was different?

Antstep did not know what he wanted the answer to those questions to be.

The camp was quiet. Besides his few friends, Antstep found himself once again a stranger in his own- or was it ever his own?- land. Perhaps the death of Rainleap weighed his Clan down too much still- this is what Antstep wanted to believe. But there was always this great, nagging feeling that sat on Antstep’s haunches- do they like me enough? What if they hate me? What if, on the night I become leader, they’re all going to kill me together? What if-

But Antstep tried to take solace in the fact that Shalestar was always there. Shalestar knew what he was doing. Shalestar would teach him all he needed to know. He’d learn.

It was a briar that shattered that thought.

It was an overcast day- the kind of overcast where the clouds look like a big, unraveling blanket; the kind of overcast that makes your head feel heavy with the promise of an oncoming storm. Antstep was taking a few of the apprentices out into the heart of the moors to learn some hunting techniques.

“Now, the key to catching a good rabbit is to know what way to chase it,” Antstep said. “Some of you have caught one of them before. And that is very good! But you need to have a plan.”

“You could raid a rabbit nest,” said Spiderpaw, in that sort of smart-alecky way that was practically her second language. “Bunch of little rabbits in there right for the taking.”

“Ah, but what about rabbits who live in burrows? And what about getting the proper taste of grown rabbit meat?” That- and Antstep always felt a bit of pity, raiding nests and newborns like that. He assumed an almost exaggerated posture and tried to project his voice towards them. “What you have to have is a plan. You have to know how to corner it. The rabbit’s always going to run away from you, and it’ll outrun you nearly all of the time. What you have, that the rabbit doesn’t, is strength in numbers. You need to drive it towards your Clanmates and pounce from all sides.“

The apprentices nodded in unison.

“Now- look, there’s one now. All of you, position yourselves here. Crouch down and hold steady. I’m going to chase it here, and when I give the word, leap.”

Antstep hunkered himself down into the grasses and slunk around it in a great circle. The rabbit turned its head, and for a short moment there was stillness between the two. Then it bounded away, slowly gaining momentum as Antstep broke into chase. Faster and faster, becoming rhythmic with the land below and the sky above- until Antstep recognized the shapes of the apprentices ahead, hiding below patches of Queen Anne’s Lace.

“Now!”

Goldenpaw and Twigpaw leapt from one way, and Spiderpaw and Coalpaw from another. Goldenpaw grabbed onto its chest and pulled it to the earth, Twigpaw grabbed its head by the front of its throat and pushed it back as far as he could. Spiderpaw grabbed its midsection, and Coalpaw pinned the legs to the earth to prevent the leporid from kicking further. There was a struggle, there was a finality, and then it was gone, as if the soul had slipped straight out of the meat.

“Very well done! Now, you see how I made sure to go in a big circle around it? That’s so it’s tricked into running this direction. If I went right towards it, it’d run away. If I went at it from the side, it’d run away. I’m going to show all of you how to chase rabbits one by one. Hopefully, we’ll make more successful catches, and we’ll have plenty to restock the fresh-kill pile with by the time we return to camp around sundown.”

He took the corpse of the freshly-killed rabbit with him, straddling it with his front legs, and the group quietly moved to another location a bit north of where they initially where. “Now, be careful,” said Antstep. “There’s a briar patch over there- the rabbit’s going to be smart enough to avoid it, so we must plan around it.” He pointed his tail towards where a big, bracken-colored mass of twisted thorny branches lay. The apprentices nodded- but not without Spiderpaw whispering a joke to Goldenpaw about how likely it’d be that Coalpaw or Twigpaw would get themselves tangled in it.

They can handle it.

There was the sound of a soft crunching of plant stems in the distance.

“There’s another,” said Antstep. “Here. Coalpaw, come with me.”

Coalpaw was bigger and heavier than the other apprentices- a cat built for fights, but not so much the hunt. Antstep figured he could go first, as he might take longer to learn the speed and stealth involved with rabbit-hunting. Antstep hunkered down again, Coalpaw followed, and carefully, slowly, the circled back around to the rabbit. Just like last time, they gave chase, and the two cats started to herd the rabbit. Antstep felt his paws go faster and faster, his muscles slowly easing to let sheer momentum swing his feet, the earth moving below him.

“Now!”

He leapt onto the rabbit, and again the other three apprentices leapt, there was a moment of struggle, a moment of release, and then Twigpaw and Spiderpaw declaring victory.

Antstep felt very, very pleased with himself until he heard a voice behind him.

“Help me! Antstep! Help!” He turned to see Coalpaw. Evidently, during the chase, the young tom had tripped himself on a pebble and sent himself flying into the briar patch, where he lay now. He was not particularly stuck, but Antstep could see he needed someone to pull him out.

“Hold on, Coalpaw, I’m…” He got a good look at the briar patch. The earth below it was lower than the rest of the ground, and there was a definite incline between the two surfaces. If Antstep were to pull out Coalpaw, he’d need to watch his step.

“I’m coming. Here, Goldenpaw, hold onto my back foot.”

He felt Goldenpaw grip his back ankle with her teeth. He grimaced at the feeling for a moment, and then leaned over the edge into the briar patch. He grabbed onto one of Coalpaw’s legs.

“Shut your eyes and make yourself go limp, so the branches don’t scratch as much.”

Coalpaw did so, and then Antstep thrusted him out in one quick motion. But as he did, he felt Goldenpaw suddenly let go of him on accident. Coalpaw managed to scramble out onto the grassy pathway as Antstep plunged into the briar patch backwards and belly-up.

Dammit!

Antstep wriggled himself back and forth to try and get back upright, but the briars further tightened around him. He clenched his teeth, trying to thrash himself free, but he only slunk deeper and deeper into the briar patch. Panic seized him as he watched the apprentices crowd around to watch their own deputy make an absolute fool of himself.

And then, finally, he gave up.

“Twigpaw, can you send for a patrol?”

“Well, well. Look who got himself stuck,” said a familiar unenthused voice. It was Sparkthistle, accompanied by Webwhisker and Emberheart. “Our own deputy can’t even get himself out of a stack of twigs.” “It’s a bit more than that,” said Webwhisker, cringing with sympathy.

“Here.” Emberheart slowly nosed her way into the briars and grabbed Antstep’s right foot. “Sparkthistle, you get the other one. Webwhisker, help us pull him out.”

Sparkthistle hesitated, and then grabbed Antstep’s left foot. The two mollies yanked him free- Sparkthistle a bit more forceful- and Webwhisker pushed him as soon as they had pried out his torso. Antstep flipped over onto his feet, his head dizzy from having been upside down.

“You’ve got a lot of scratches from it,” said Webwhisker. “You should see Whitetooth, I think.”

“For just that?” snarked Sparkthistle.

“I worry about it getting infected, that’s all.”

“It is rather bad,” Emberheart said as she inspected Antstep’s flank. “He’s lucky his ears and eyes are in one place.”

Great- I’m not even leader yet and I’m already incompetent enough that I nearly lost my eyesight!

“I can continue on with the apprentices,” offered Webwhisker. The two mollies waited to see Antstep’s reaction; he responded with a nod after some contemplation.

And so, Antstep, Sparkthistle, and Emberheart walked back to camp.

“’Tis not too bad,” said Whitetooth, inspecting Antstep’s myriad of scratches as they wrapped him in cobwebs. “You shall be on your feet within a couple of days. But it is important you rest so infection does not begin. Lie down on the nest Marblepaw prepared for you on the right. Avoid Shalestar, you don’t want him to give you illness.”

“Illness? Shalestar?” Sure, Antstep had noted the leader was a bit slow the past few days, but he hadn’t ever noticed he smelled of sickness. He watched as Marblepaw- a little brown tabby molly, nearly identical to her brother Twigpaw- carefully inspected the sleeping leader, who’s eyes were crusty and who’s fur had became oily from a lack of cleaning himself.

“Mild whitecough, with fever. We have enough tansy for it, but it is worrying given his age. …May I talk to you in private?”

The two cats exited the medicine cat den and sat on the edge of the sandy hollow. Droplets of rain began to fall from the sky, speckling the earth.

“…I suspect that Shalestar may not be long for this world. He may leave us sooner than he expected to.”

Antstep felt something inside himself, black and shivering, begin to coil. “You mean-“

“…This is mild whitecough, and it’s wrecked him. If he doesn’t pass of this- something else is going to come along, and it will be far, far worse.”

Antstep felt like he was going to vomit. He couldn’t even match wits with briars- and now, less than a moon since Rainleap died, less than a moon since he had become deputy at all, before he had even attended a Gathering, here he was. It felt as if a great shadow stood over him, one that only he could feel, who bristled the fur on his spine and clamped its paws on his shoulders.

“… What shall we do? I- I can’t be leader now! I barely got to be deputy! What will the Clan think? What will the other leaders think? What if they think I killed him? I can’t have that on my record, I can’t-“

“Calm yourself, Antstep.” Whitetooth’s voice was deep but smooth, like thick greenleaf tree-sap. “Take heart. You are not the first or the last cat to become leader on such short notice, and I am sure the other leaders will understand as will our Clan. Elsewise- I will be here for you. You know me to be very compassionate.”

The first thunders of a storm began to rumble in the distance.

“Please trust me, for the good of the Clan. …Now, rest. If our beloved leader passes within the next few days from this illness, take solace in that you will be there for him.”

Anstep nodded, and as the rain developed into downpour, the two cats headed back inside.

Shalestar slipped away, later that night, long after all but Whitetooth and Antstep fell asleep; his last words were faint mumblings too obscured by the thunder outside to understand. It was a slow and very peaceful death- the eyes closed, the breathing stopped, the muscles suddenly went limp. Whitetooth placed two leaves over his eyes and positioned the body flat and compact, like he was crouching forever, so when the Clan would visit his body before the burial the next day he would not look too ill. When he died, there was a moment where the clouds unweaved themselves, and a small patch of starlight lit the center of the sandy hollow.

It was over now, and it had begun.

Antstep awoke as Antstar two days afterward.

#warrior cats #warrior cats ocs #story #ayyyyooooo

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carolina-bleus · 3 years

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~Something You Read: From Rick to Michonne~

“I cannot believe he actually logged into class this morning from his bed! I think he’d just woken up like five minutes before. He could barely hold his eyes open and had bed hair and everything. Who even does that?” Michonne scoffed.

Rick chuckled. “That sounds exactly like something Shane would do.”

“Mr. Horvath even had to tell him to put on a shirt...which got a lot of grumbling from some of the girls.”

“You included?”

Rick outright laughed at the look of disgust Michonne shot him through his phone’s screen.

“Richard Sutton Grimes, I am offended! You know I have better taste than that. No offense to Shane, but it would have to be the end of the world and we’d have to be the last hope for continuation of the human race before I’d even consider him anything other than a smug nuisance.”

“Ouch! So I’ll take that as a no.”

“Take that as a hell no!”

“Michonne Colette Richardson with the potty mouth! I’m gonna tell your mama and daddy.”

“What’s the worst that could happen? I get grounded and confined to the house and not allowed to go out with my friends? Too late, Miss Rona already beat them to that,” Michonne replied glumly.

“Yeah, it sucks. I can’t believe this is how we’re spending our senior year of high school. I thought everything would be back to normal by now.”

“I don’t even know what normal is anymore. I certainly hope this isn’t our new normal...going to school online, not being able to hang out and only seeing each other “face to face” through a screen in class or during phone calls.”

“I never thought I’d say this...and if you tell my mama, I’ll deny it...but I actually miss school. Not the work,” Rick quickly added. “I miss interacting with everybody, even Eugene and his mullet.”

“Really, Rick? Of all the classmates you could name, you pick Eugene...and his mullet...and not me?”

“You know you’re not just my classmate. You’re my best friend, Michonne. Of course I miss you.”

More than you even know, Rick thought.

“I miss you, too. The two of us haven’t been in the same space in what feels like forever and I’m over it. We don’t even get to go the mountains for Christmas this year,” Michonne lamented.

The Grimes and Richardson families were extremely close. The teens’ parents grew up together in King County and had been close long before Rick and Michonne were born. The families had been planning to spend Christmas break in a vacation home rented out for the holidays. But, now instead of a big Christmas celebration in the mountains, the families were doing as they had for Thanksgiving and keeping their celebrations small and confined to immediate family. Gift giving was even different this year.

The families decided to keep it simple and follow a modified version of the five-gift rule. Each household pulled the name of someone from the other household. The gift recipient told the gift giver what category they wanted their gift to represent. Luckily, Rick and Michonne pulled each other’s names. But even if they hadn’t, they would have managed to get a gift for each other a gift anyway. Michonne wanted “something you read” and Rick asked for “something you want.” Michonne’s gift was already wrapped and ready on Rick’s nightstand.

The canceled vacation and altered holiday routines were just another reminder of how different things were this year. Rick and Michonne had been inseparable since they were babies. They’d seen each other just about every day before pandemic brought their in-person interactions to a halt. The physical separation was something neither teen had really gotten used to even after so many months.

Michonne sighed. “You think it will be like this when we get older if everything does go back to normal and we can get on with our lives?”

“What do you mean?” Rick asked.

“We’re about to go off to college in some form or another and start the next phase of our lives. Do you think this is what it will be like...never seeing each other except through calls or whenever there is a holiday?”

“You think we’re going to grow apart?” Rick asked with a tilt of his head.

Michonne shrugged. “I don’t know. I hope not. But I never thought I’d live through a pandemic either. Life’s funny that way.”

“I know you want to explore the world and go to all these exciting places during and after college. But what about later? Do you think you’ll come back home? To your family?”

To me?

Rick had been in love with his best friend for as long as he could remember. He’d never quite found the words to tell her. He thought maybe he’d ask her to prom and do it then but prom most likely wasn’t going to happen this year. Rick worried if he’d even get the chance to hug Michonne again before they went off to different colleges next fall.

“You mean come back home to live?”

Rick nodded. “Yeah.”

“Is that what you’re going to do...come back home after college?”

“That’s been the plan.”

“Have you ever thought about living somewhere else?”

“Not really...but I guess I would for the right reason.”

And the right person.

“What reason would that be?”

You.

Rick shrugged. “I guess I’ll know when I know.”

Michonne looked away briefly before clearing her throat. “Oh...well, we don’t have to worry about that for a little while longer, anyway. Soon it will be Christmas break. And then it will be New Year’s Eve and we can put this hellish year behind us and start looking forward to the future...wherever that takes us.”

“Michonne, I---

A knock sounded on Rick’s door. It opened and his mom stood in the doorway.

“Honey, I know it’s distance learning but you still need to get some rest for tomorrow. Michonne, you do as well,” Mrs. Grimes added, knowing without question who Rick was talking to this late.

“Yes ma’am,” the teens replied in unison.

“Alright. Goodnight you two. Love you both.”

“Goodnight, Mama.”

“Goodnight, Auntie Suzanne.”

Once his mother closed the door behind her, Rick turned back to the screen.

“Rick, what were you about to say before?”

“Oh...umm...just that I hope you like the Christmas gift I got you.”

“You always pick out the best gifts, so I’m not worried. Well, I guess we better head to bed. Talk to you in the morning before classes?”

“Of course. Goodnight, Michonne.”

“Goodnight, Rick.”

The best friends ended their call and Rick slouched down with a sigh. He had been about to confess his feelings to Michonne right then and there. Her conversation about them growing apart scared him. He didn’t want to lose her.

But what if telling her how I feel pushes her away?

Needing to get his feelings off his chest somehow, Rick tore a piece of paper from his notebook, grabbed a pen and began to write.

Dear Michonne,

You’ve been my best friend since before we could talk and I hope you remain so even after I tell you what’s in my heart. Michonne, I love you...I’m in love with you. Whew! It feels good to FINALLY say that. I’ve loved you since...well, honestly, I can’t think of a time when I didn’t love you in some way. Every moment that’s meant something in my life has had you in it...holding my hand when I was scared on our very first day of school, when you helped me study for and win the spelling bee in third grade, when we took down the school bully, Phillip, on the playground in fifth grade, being each other’s first kiss in sixth grade and each other’s date for our first high school dance, sitting and crying with me when my grandpa died from the virus, stressing about applying to college early decision and celebrating together when we both got into our dream schools. The serious moments, the fun moments and everything in between...you’ve been there. And somewhere along the way, my love for you grew beyond friendship.

I can be my whole self with you because you bring out the best of who I am and you inspire me to want to be even better. You’re the one person I can tell anything and everything to without hesitation. You’re the only person I want to tell everything to. So, you’re probably wondering why I never told you how I feel. Well, I haven’t told you for the same reason your question about us drifting apart scared me...I don’t want to lose you. I can’t imagine...I don’t want to imagine...us not being in each other’s lives. I didn’t want to risk pushing you away or making you feel weird. I still don’t want that. But this year has taught me more than ever that life is short, time is precious and you have to let the people in your lives always know how you truly feel about them while you can.

Whatever you feel for me, please know that your happiness and our friendship are the most important things to me. And I want us to always remain friends, and in each other’s lives, whether or not we ever become a couple. I know we’ll be walking different paths for the next few years, but I hope those paths always lead us back to each other.

This is my first love confession I’ve ever written so I’m not really sure how to end it. I guess, thank you for reading it.

Love always,

Rick

P.S.- If you don’t feel the same way, you don’t have to say anything. We can just pretend this never happened.

Finished, Rick neatly folded the paper in half, wrote Michonne’s name on the front, and placed it on his nightstand beside Michonne’s gift.

Now the question remains if I’ll ever give it to her.

*****

Before Rick knew it, there was only one more week until school let out for the holiday break. He’d decided to have a change of scenery and attended school in his dad’s study today. Returning to his room, Rick plopped down on his bed and reached for his phone that he’d left on the nightstand. To his horror, the phone was there, but Michonne’s gift...and more importantly, Michonne’s note...were both gone.

“MAMA!”

“What?! Why are you yelling?”

“Mama, where’s Michonne’s gift?”

“Your Aunt Sheila and I did our socially distanced gift exchange this afternoon. I dropped their gifts off on their porch and ours were waiting there in a box. I already put them under the tree.”

“So you got Michonne’s gift from me off of my table?”

“Yes.”

“What happened to the piece of paper that was there as well?”

“Well, it had Michonne’s name on it, so I put it in a nice envelope...since you neglected to do so...and added it to her present.”

“Oh, Mama, you didn’t,” Rick groaned.

“Yes, I did. It was beside Michonne’s gift. It had her name on it. It was meant for her right?”

“Yes, ma’am. It was.”

“So why are you looking like I just destroyed your world?”

Because you may just accidentally have.

“Uh...it’s nothing,” Rick hedged. “I uh...I just wanted to exchange gifts in person.”

Mrs. Grimes nodded sympathetically.

“I know sweetie. We all wanted to do that this year, but we have to take the necessary precautions to keep everyone safe.”

Unfortunately, my heart might have just become collateral damage.

The morning after he wrote it, Rick had decided not to give Michonne the letter. He still felt the same way, but he just couldn’t run the risk of his confession altering their friendship in a negative way. However, now all he could do was wait and hope Michonne didn’t take an early peek at her gifts like she used to do when they were kids.

Rick looked at the date on his phone...December 10...fifteen days until Michonne opened the letter. He smiled wistfully at his lock screen. It was picture of him and Michonne that she forced him to take on the last day they saw each other before their world got turned on its head. They were lounging in the hammock in his family’s backyard just talking about their hopes for senior year and beyond. It had been a perfect afternoon. He’d almost told her how he felt then but backed out at the last minute. Now the decision to tell had been taken out of his hands.

Man, I hope I didn’t make the biggest mistake of my life.

*****

As the days to Christmas dwindled down, Rick didn’t notice a change in Michonne or their interactions. They still spoke every morning and every night and she acted the same as always. Rick didn’t know if that meant she hadn’t yet read the letter or that she had and was just not saying anything because didn’t have any romantic feelings for him.

Rick had tried to bribe Michonne’s younger brother, Noah, to find and destroy the letter. But that ended in utter failure. Noah couldn’t find the letter and he got yelled at by Michonne for snooping around her room. But Noah was true to his word (and the fifty dollars Rick sent to his cash app) and never implicated Rick in the plot.

~Christmas Eve~

Rick’s nerves were shot.

One more day until I know if I need to ask to go live with Granny Grimes down in Florida to finish out senior year.

Rick hadn’t spoken to Michonne at all today, which was a rarity.

Maybe she’s avoiding me.

Rick trudged glumly down the stairs so lost in thought that the sudden ringing of the doorbell scared him.

“Did y’all order food?” Rick called out to his family.

“No! It might be a package though,” his father yelled back.

Assuming the delivery person left the package on the porch, Rick pulled open the door without hesitation. He nearly fell over when he saw who was waiting.

“Michonne?! What are you doing here?” Rick started to push open the storm door, but caught himself. “Wait, a second.”

Rick grabbed his mask off the hallway table and put it on before stepping outside. The teens stood on opposite ends of the porch.

Michonne offered a small wave. “Hey, Rick. I came over because I wanted to see you.”

“Why? It must be important if you came in person.”

Oh, man. Is she going to break my heart in person?

“I promise to explain. But, first, I need you to answer some questions.”

“Questions? Why?”

“You’ll see.” Michonne pulled out her phone and unlocked it. “Okay, have you experienced any of the following recently...fever, cough, or headaches?”

“No.”

“Good. Fatigue...muscle or body aches...loss of taste or smell?”

“No.”

“Sore throat...nausea...diarrhea?”

“Michonne!”

“Rick, just answer the question.”

“No.”

“Has anyone in your family experienced those symptoms recently?”

Rick shook his head. “No.”

“Where have you been in the past fourteen days?”

“I’ve been home.” Stressing out over a letter.

“You haven’t gone anywhere outside? Not even to the grocery store?”

“Other than the porch or backyard, I’ve been in the house.”

“Good. I’ve haven’t gone anywhere for the past fourteen days either. I’ve been in the house and avoiding anyone who doesn’t live in my house...basically a self-imposed quarantine.”

“Why?”

“So I could do this.”

Michonne removed her mask and walked over to Rick. She reached up and removed his mask, smiling at the question in his eyes before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on his lips. After a moment of shocked delay, Rick quickly responded by wrapping his arms around Michonne and deepening the kiss.

Needing a breath and a moment to process it all, the couple slowly broke off their kiss and stared at each other with twin smiles on their faces.

“I take it you read the letter?” Rick asked.

Michonne nodded. “Exactly fourteen days ago.”

“You read it the first night?! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I’ve never had anyone confess their love for me before...at least not outside of a daydream. I needed time some time to deal.”

“And do you feel the same way?”

“Rick, I quarantined for fourteen days just so I could kiss you. What do you think that means?”

“Maybe I just want to hear you say it.”

Michonne rolled her eyes but couldn’t keep the smile off of her face.

“I love you, too, Rick.”

“Romantically?”

“Yeah.”

“For how long?”

“For as long as I can remember.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

Michonne shrugged. “It’s the same reason you didn’t. I was scared and I didn’t want to lose you in case you didn’t feel the same way.”

“But we both feel the same way. So...we’re a couple?”

“Almost. There is something you have to say first.”

“What?” Then it dawned on Rick and he flushed, suddenly shy. “I wrote it in the letter.”

“Maybe I just want to hear you say it.”

Rick chuckled at his words being thrown back at him, before he turned serious.

“I love you, Michonne.”

Michonne’s face lit up with a smile that took Rick’s breath away.

“Now, we’re a couple,” she declared.

Rick took Michonne’s hand and led her over to the porch swing. The couple drew close under the blanket Rick’s mom kept there for the chilly winter nights.

“Guess I won’t have to open any gifts tomorrow.”

“What do you mean?” Michonne questioned.

“Christmas came early. I have everything I want now.”

Michonne smiled and pulled Rick into a hug. When they separated, a sudden question occurred to Rick.

“Hey, did you open my actual gift I got you to read?” Rick asked.

“Not yet, I was waiting until tomorrow. I only opened the letter because I thought it was a card. I’m glad I didn’t wait though because that letter was truly the best thing I’ve read in my entire life.”

Rick blushed happily at Michonne’s words.

“Well, maybe you’ll read something even better one day.”

“Like what?”

“Our wedding vows.”

Michonne’s eyes widened before she smiled sweetly, “Yeah, maybe one day.”

The couple shared another kiss before they cuddled against each other and slowly rocked in the swing, enjoying the Christmas lights shining across the neighborhood.

@richonnefics

#richonne5 #richonne #because teenage Rick and Michonne would be adorable #forgive any typos...I'm tired lol

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patt-writes-stuff · 4 years

Note

Could I request a Shinso x reader fluff imagine? Maybe something along the lines of him and reader being in the hero course together and a year or two after graduating they see each other again and reader admits her affection for him even after that long away from each other? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Thank you so much for requesting!!! 💕 I had so much fun writing this that I wrote it all in one sitting. I’m pretty happy with the results and I hope you enjoy it!

Belated Confessions

Pairing: Shinsou x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Like one curse word?

Genre: Fluff

After three years of vigorous training and studying, you along with the rest of your classmates were finally graduating from U.A. High School.

You couldn’t be happier. Your time at high school had been anything but peaceful, what with constantly being targeted by villains and all, but it was all worth it. Soon, you and your friends would become real heroes who’d go out into the world and stop bad guys.

For now, you’d enjoy the graduation party Momo had been kind enough to host at her mansion house. The party doubled as a farewell party since some of your friends had chosen agencies in far away parts of Japan, or even other countries.

One of those people was your close friend and long term crush, Shinsou Hitoshi. The two of you had become fast friends after he joined the hero course in your second year. You bonded over your aspirations as heroes and love of all things cats.

Over the course of your friendship, you’d developed an almost embarrassingly large crush on the indigo haired boy. You planned to tell him as much tonight.

After much convincing from Mina and the other girls, you’d decided tonight would be the night in which you confessed your feelings to him. It could very well be your last chance to secure a future with him in it.

This is why, instead of being inside of Momo’s lavish house celebrating with the rest of your friends, you were outside in Momo’s garden walking through the gravel pathway with Shinsou at your side.

Mina had insisted it would be the perfect place for you to confess, saying the garden had a romantic aura to it. She wasn’t wrong, especially during the night time.

The full moon shone above you, casting a bluish light on the two of you. Stars were splattered over the night sky, twinkling faintly.

They were beautiful, yes, but not nearly as beautiful as the boy next to you.

Realizing you’d been quiet for too long, you took a deep breath, remembering all the pointers the girls had given you.

“So,” you started softly, “how do you feel about moving somewhere else? It must be nerve-wracking.”

“Yeah, I guess I’m a little nervous,” he said scratching the back of his neck, “I’m gonna miss a lot of things from here.”

“What are you going to miss the most?” You inquired, looking at him in the eye as if trying to tell you hoped he said ‘you’.

Instead, he said, “My friends. It’s gonna be hard to stay in touch with everyone. We’re all going our separate ways.”

You froze in your tracks. You hadn’t thought about that.

It was going to be hard to stay in contact with everyone, with everyone starting their new careers. You knew that. What you hadn’t accounted for was the distance. He was gonna be on the other side of the world. It would be difficult to maintain normal relationships, romantic ones would be near impossible.

What if you confessed and he rejected you because of it?

Even worse, what if you confessed to him and he returned your feelings, only to break up because of the distance? You knew what they said about long-distance relationships, they almost never worked out. You could break up and lose him entirely.

Were you willing to take that risk?

He slowed to a halt once he realized you had stopped walking. He looked at you, concern clear as day in his mesmerizing purple eyes.

No. You weren’t.

“Are you okay?” He asked, searching your face for any clues as to why you were suddenly so distressed.

“Yeah, everything’s totally fine,” you assured him, plastering a fake smile on your face, “I’m just a little cold. We should probably get back to the party.”

He seemed nowhere near convinced by your, admittedly, sloppy excuse but agreed nonetheless.

When you got back to the house, he was called over by Kaminari, who was debating with Sero whether or not he would get electrocuted if he stuck a fork into a socket.

Once he was out of earshot, Mina walked up to you. The huge, rather teasing, grin she wore melted away once she got a good look at the expression on your face.

“You didn’t tell him,” it was a statement, not a question but you nodded anyways, “Why?”

“Because he’s moving away and I don’t want to risk losing him as a friend,” you explained, shuffling one shoe a bit against the carpet.

“Ugh, That’s so stupid! You two were made for each other,” she whined, causing you to roll your eyes at your pink friend.

“If we’re ‘meant for each other’ then it’ll happen eventually,” you countered, patting your distressed friend’s back.

——-0——

Two years have passed since graduation. During that period of time, you’d created quite the name for yourself amongst the hero community. You were nowhere near the top ranks yet but you were rather proud of the progress you’d achieved in such a short time.

You loved your job more than anything. Sure, the paperwork sucked and the hours were crazy, but it was so worth it. You got to save people and make a difference in your community. It was truly fulfilling.

That being said, you were currently rethinking your life choices.

You’d been patrolling for what felt like forever. Today had felt especially busy, with villains causing trouble left and right. They were low-level thugs really, nothing life-threatening, but boy did they cause a hassle.

When you got back to the agency, you were tired and sore, not to mention hungry. You wanted nothing more than to go home, change into the comfiest clothes you owned, and get some food that wasn’t a quick convenience store snack in your system.

Only instead, you had piles of paperwork to fill out.

You finished well after 5 p.m. Once you did, you wholeheartedly refused to cook something, opting instead to visit the Cafe near the agency.

It had great food and the owners let their pet cats roam around the place. You and Shinsou would often frequent it back in high school to spend time with the cats on weekends.

Thinking of Shinsou, you couldn’t help but miss him terribly. You kept in contact as best as you could, with your busy schedules and conflicting time zones, but you’d drifted away. It was nobody's fault, really, circumstance was really just a bitch.

You’d tried to get over him by going out with other people but it never worked out. Sometimes they just couldn’t seem to handle your hectic career, other times they didn’t get your sense of humor. Most of the time they just weren’t enough like a certain someone.

You entered the cafe, a dinging noise announcing your presence. You went up to the counter, ordered your food, and then plopped into what used to be your usual booth back in the day.

Your favorite cat, Mochi, a tortoiseshell and white cat jumped up to the table, demanding your attention. You smiled tiredly, giving her the pats she so greatly desired.

“You have it easy Mochi,” you told her, “All you have to do all day is be adorable. I have to chase around smelly old villains.”

“That’s true,” a very not cat, very familiar voice said, “but somehow I can’t help but think that your life is much more interesting than hers.”

You whipped your head around only to be face to face with Shinsou. He hadn’t changed much after two years. His hair was crazy as ever, indigo locks shooting all over the place and he still had his trademark dark circles under his eyes. He definitely had more muscle though, showing that his time working outside the country had paid off.

“I don’t know about that, Mochi here sees a lot of people every day,” you joked, breaking out in a grin. You stood up, much to Mochi’s displeasure, to pull Shinsou into a bone-crushing hug. After probably a little more time than strictly necessary, you let go, looking up at him. He seemed taller than he had been last time…

“You didn’t tell me you were back in Japan!” You exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger his way. You sat back down, motioning for him to take a seat on the other side of the table.

“I wasn’t planning on telling anyone until I was settled into my new place. We both know Kaminari is gonna drag me into the nearest night club the moment I do,” he explained, sitting down and rubbing the cat's ears affectionately.

“You’re moving back to Japan? That’s amazing!” You were sure you were practically glowing right now, radiating pure, unadulterated happiness.

The two of you talked about everything and anything. From his life abroad to the new agency he’d be working at to how all your classmates were nowadays. There was never a lull in the conversation, both of you happy to be in each other’s presence after so long.

Eventually, the two of you had to leave, since the cafe was closing for the night. So, after petting all the cat's goodbye, both of you exited the building.

Your apartment was very close by but Shinsou insisted on walking you home. You agreed since neither of you was quite ready to say goodbye to one another quite yet.

“I gotta ask,” you started, “how come you came back? Did you not like it there?”

“It was fine. There was just something, someone, missing. It didn’t feel like home,” he sounded almost bashful and maybe it was a trick of the streetlights shining dimly above you, but you could’ve sworn he was blushing.

After that, the two of you walked in comfortable silence for a bit.

Something about the atmosphere reminded you so much of the night of the graduation party two years back. Maybe it was how you were once again walking side by side under the moon and stars or maybe it was because for the first time in two years you felt butterflies in your stomach.

“You know back in high school I had the biggest crush on you ever,” you blurted out once you stopped at your building’s entrance. You were mortified. Why would you just say that?

“Oh,” was all he said after a beat of silence.

“Yeah,” you said, “I was gonna tell you during the party. Ask you out and stuff. But then...I didn’t.”

You might as well tell him everything. Maybe now you could finally move on, try seeing other people without wondering about the ‘what if’s.

“I would’ve said yes. I- uh- I still would, actually,” if he wasn’t blushing back then, he was definitely blushing now. Then again, you probably looked much more flustered than he did right now.

With your heart beating a mile a minute, you asked, rather shyly, “Do you maybe wanna go out sometime?”

“I’d love to.”

You both stood there for a minute, looking at each other like lovesick fools, fully content.

“I should get going,” said, snapping out of his slight daze, “it’s getting pretty late. I’m sure you have work tomorrow.”

He moved to leave but before he could, you grabbed his wrist, pulling him back. He looked at you questioningly but you just smiled, getting a bit on your tippy-toes for a long-overdue kiss.

Somewhere else in Japan, Mina’s romance senses were tingling

Tags: @wesparklebitch

#bnhabookclub #shinsou x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #hitoshi x reader #hitoshi shinsou x reader #shinsou #hitoshi #shinsou hitoshi #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #bnha fluff #mha fluff #patt’s creations

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kayla47 · 3 years

Text

Restless Summer

The search for a name leads to a revelation.

“Well finally we have a replacement for Reverend Appleby-Thornton!” Trixie exclaimed happily. “Now we just have to name him.”

Shelagh turned around from the tea urn her expression turning from confusion to a smile of remembrance as she caught sight of the plastic bag containing a good deal of water and a small goldfish that Trixie had placed on the table among the teacups.

“Where did he come from?”

“Sister Frances won him on the ‘hook a fish’ stall but I’m not sure that she’s able to offer up a name that fits our exacting criteria!” Trixie turned a beaming grin on the young nun standing next to her.

“You have criteria for naming goldfish?” Sister Frances was clearly puzzled. “I know lots of names. Tell me the rules, l’m sure I can think of one that fits.”

Trixie and Shelagh exchanged knowing smiles.

“Shelagh, take a break and come and sit with us. I’ve just spent a perfectly gruelling hour running the coconut shy and I’m sure you are equally in need of a rest and a drink. We can have a cuppa while we explain to Sister Frances the Nonnatus method for fish naming.”

“Very well. There’s a table free in the shade over there.” Shelagh gestured towards a spot under a tree. “I’ll bring a tray over.”

Trixie nodded, picked up the as yet nameless goldfish and swept off towards the table with Sister Frances following in her wake. Shelagh gathered three cups of tea, a bowl of sugar and a plate of Bourbon biscuits onto a tray then made her way to join them. After placing the tray in the centre of the table she settled into the remaining seat with a sign of relief.

“It’s certainly nice to sit down for a moment, it looks like the church fête is going to be a roaring success this year from tea sales alone!”

“Everyone knows that a hot cuppa provides the most wonderful refreshment even on the warmest of days, especially when it’s well sugared,” Trixie nodded sagely as she added two spoons of sugar to her cup. “Now, it’s time to name this goldfish. Care to explain the rules to Sister Frances, Shelagh?”

“Very well,” Shelagh turned to the young nun. “A few years ago some of the nurses spent the evening at the fair and Jane, a medical orderly we had working with us at the time, won a goldfish. On their way home the girls exchanged tales of their first kiss and it was agreed that the goldfish should be named after whoever gave Jane that pleasure. Unfortunately Jane was extremely shy and inexperienced so the fish remained nameless until she met and fell in love with a clergyman who came to stay at Nonnatus House. Henceforward the fish was known as Reverend Appleby-Thornton.”

“So now all Nonnatun goldfish must be named in the same manner but I somehow suspect that you may not be able to help. Am I right?” Trixie smiled affectionately at the blushing Sister.

“Don’t jump to conclusions, Trixie, after all Cynthia confessed to having received her first kiss at just eight years old. In any event, Sister Frances is under no obligation to tell us anything about her life before joining the order.” Shelagh took pity on their young companion.

“No, that’s ok. I’m afraid Trixie’s right, if it’s left to me he’ll be nameless and that’s not likely to change,” Sister Frances admitted with a slightly wistful smile, “Someone else will have to give him a name.”

“Well that settles it,” Trixie turned to Shelagh with a broad grin, “We’ll have to call him Patrick!”

Shelagh stared open-mouthed at her friend for a moment before finally saying “Oh no, I don’t think that would be appropriate.”

“Oh come on Shelagh, Doctor Turner’s a good sport. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind!”

“I don’t suppose he would but unless he was responsible for your first kiss his name isn’t suitable.” Shelagh sat back in her chair, a slight twinkle in her eyes as she sipped her tea. Her gaze rested on her friend as she awaited the inevitable questioning.

Trixie didn’t disappoint, after a brief pause to process Shelagh’s statement she launched into her interrogation.

“Patrick wasn’t your first? Who was? When did it happen? What was it like? Tell us all about it!”

“Calm down, Trixie, there’s not so very much to tell. His name was Andrew MacNair, I was seventeen and it was..... pleasant.”

“That’s it, you can’t leave it at that. Come on Shelagh, we need details, don’t we Sister?” Trixie turned to Sister Frances for support. The young sister nodded eagerly, leaning in closer, anxious to hear more.

“Oh very well,” Shelagh took pity on them. “It was the summer before my last year at high school. Andrew was a year older than me, he was working as a delivery boy in my father’s shop while he waited for his call up papers. We were still at war and he’d just turned eighteen. I spent most of the summer helping my father, I hated it but Andrew and I spent quite a bit of time together and we became friendly which made it more bearable. In the evenings we would go walking together, we’d talk about our plans for the future, what we would do after the war. We were both anxious to move on with our lives, to escape the life we were born into. He was hopeful that the army would show him something more, I was restless, knowing I still had a year of school before I could train as a nurse. As the summer went on friendship turned into affection and one evening while we were walking along the path by the river he pulled me into his arms and kissed me.” She stopped, her eyes misty with memories.

Trixie gave her a moment but then could contain herself no longer.

“So how was it? What happened next?”

“It was sweet and gentle. We shared more kisses over the next week but never anything more. Then he received his call up letter, three days later he was gone. I never saw him again.”

“Oh goodness, Shelagh, I’m so sorry! Was he killed in action?” Trixie questioned softly.

“Oh no, nothing like that,” Shelagh smiled, “We exchanged a couple of letters and even one long distance phone call but we both knew it had never been serious and we were drifting apart. By the time he returned to Inverurie I’d finished school and moved to London to begin my nursing training.”

“Well you’re a dark horse, Shelagh Turner! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this before. Acting so innocent when I said how sad it was that Jane had no one to name her fish after.”

“I said you were talking to a nun, Trixie, I never said that nun had never been kissed.”

Shelagh became aware that Sister Frances hadn’t spoken throughout her revelations and was now staring at her in stunned silence.

“Why are you looking so shocked Sister? Is it that surprising that I once kissed someone other than my husband?”

“N-no, not at all.” Sister Frances stuttered seeming to struggle to find the power of speech. “It’s surprising that you were once a nun!”

“Now that’s a story worth telling!” Trixie’s eyes lit up in anticipation, “Let’s go and find a home for young Andrew here and I’ll regale you with the romantic tale of ‘Sister Bernadette and the Dashing Doctor’.”

Trixie swept up the bag containing the recently named goldfish and set off towards Nonnatus House followed by a somewhat bemused Sister Frances.

Shelagh stood and gazed after them for a moment before turning back towards the tea stall. Memories of the past were replaced with delight in the present when she found herself face to face with her husband. Patrick greeted her with a loving smile before drawing her into into a warm embrace and planting a tender kiss on her lips. This, she decided, as she returned his kiss, was so very much more than ‘pleasant’.

#call the midwife #ctm #turnadette #ctm fanfic #patrick turner #shelagh turner #trixie franklin #sister frances

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wayward-pendragon · 4 years

Text

Iwaoi fic rec

So since quarantine started I’ve literally watched Haikyuu like three times oops. Honestly if u haven’t watched it yet, I highly recommend. Anyway, Iwaoi is one of my fav ships so I figured I’d make a fic rec so y’all will have some good reading to enjoy in this time of distance :))

All of these are complete and on ao3. I tend to like the longer or chaptered fics so most of these are like that but a few shorter one shot pieces are listed as well!

The PDA Jar by Poteto

Summary: “What is that thing for?”

“I’m glad you asked, captain. This… is the Public Display of Affection jar. Or PDA jar for short.”

“Now whenever you do something that may hurt our children’s innocence, you’ll have to put money in the jar as a punishment."

One of my first Iwaoi fics and its super sweet and fluffy. I love how Iwa and Oikawa come to realize their feelings it’s just really really cute.

Press '1' to Get a Call From Your Drunk Best Friend by UmbrellaMartialGod

Summary: Press '2' to hear him talk about you for thirty minutes, press '3' for him to compliment your ass, and press '4' for more options.

This is a short and sweet fic where Iwaizumi basically confesses his feelings for Oikawa when he’s drunk af. Super cute and funny.

to be first, to be best by kittebasu (chanyeol)

Summary: Hajime is apparently something of a masochist, and as he stares down at the tie-dyed AREA51 T-shirt in his hands, he thinks “I’m totally in love with this asshole, aren't I?”

This is hands down one of my fav Iwaoi fics ever. It feels so realistic to their relationship on the show and it so fluffy but also some angst ugh its just so cute. Basically Oikawa moves in w/ Iwa after he blows up his kitchen and things go from there.

When You Wish Upon a Star by emerald1963

Summary: Hajime has no idea how this situation is even possible, but he’s one hundred percent certain that it’s all Oikawa’s fault. Oikawa blames the aliens.

The Iwaoi body swap fic that this fandom needs, if not the one it deserves.

The Iwaoi body swap AU. Its absolutely adorable as they try and navigate living in each other’s bodies and how they come to understand each other’s feelings just ugh so good.

Kotov Syndrome by valiantarmor

Summary: Corruption is brewing in Seijou's police force. Oikawa Tooru, the captain of Special Investigations, is put onto a case where he cannot afford to fail.But despite his best efforts, not everything goes according to plan.

A standalone fic in the buddycop AU series; reading the others isn't necessary if you'd just like to read this one!

Iwaoi as cops oooo boy. Honestly funny and adorable as you get to see their relationship but also suspenseful and has a great plot. This is a long one too so be prepared to get hooked. The rest of the series is also freaking awesome so I highly recommend reading all of them.

i’m gonna be the man who comes back home to you by baekuugo (insxouts)

Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime is a single father trying to raise a teenager (or three) on his own. He thinks he does pretty okay and things are going great until he meets the Oikawa Tooru (who isn't as great as people think he is, if you ask Iwaizumi) and his life takes a turn for the best worst.

I really love the single parent AU and the author does a really good job of balancing the family relationship and Iwaoi. I just really love this one and its so wholesome but if i remember correctly there’s some angst too, I highly recommend reading.

dyspnea/arrhythmia by carafin

Summary: In which Iwaizumi Hajime is a junior doctor suffering through his medical rotation, and Dr. Oikawa Tooru is his insufferable mentor. Medical AU.

This fic omgggg. Both Iwa and Oikawa are doctors and ofc oikawa is terrifyingly good. Basically you get so their relationship change as they get closer from working together and supporting each other. A really good read!!

you’re looking like you fell in love tonight by anyadisee

Summary: “So, let me see if I understood this correctly,” Hajime says, slow and careful like he’s still waiting for some kind of punchline.

“You want me to help Oikawa Tooru, a guy I barely know, because your boyfriend owes him a favor?”

“And you owe me a favor,” Hanamaki adds helpfully.

“That doesn’t even make any sense!”

“Sure it does.” Hanamaki’s smile widens. “Issei and I are practically the same person by now, anyway, so whatever favor you owe me, you also owe him. And by repaying me, you are repaying him, and in turn he is repaying Oikawa. Think of it as, like, the transitive property of equality. A equals B equals C. A equals C.”

“I know what the transitive property of equality is,” Hajime snaps.

[in which iwaizumi pretends to be oikawa's boyfriend.]

One of my fav Iwaoi fics holyyyyyyy. They start off as just acquaintances and then my weakness, the fake dating AU comes in and omggggg its soooo good. Less angst than many other fake dating fics which was a nice change of pace.

darlin’, your head’s not right by aruariandance

Summary: “Our wedding,” Oikawa says by way of explanation, tapping his finger against his magazine more emphatically. “What colors should we use? Color scheme is important, apparently.”

Iwaizumi feels his lifespan shortening.

“I was thinking our Aoba johsai colors to go for more, you know, softer tones? Besides, I’ve always looked great in that sea foam green color. Oh, and I guess you look decent in it, too.” He grins, saccharine sweet, and Iwaizumi has never been so tempted to knock one of his perfect pearly white teeth right out of his stupid mouth."

or,

Oikawa teases Iwaizumi about a childhood promise he made to marry him when they were older, except suddenly it's not really a joke at all.

This is such a sweet getting together fic omgg. Basically follows them living in Tokyo and going to uni and omgg its so freaking sweet plz read.

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle by kittebasu (chanyeol)

Summary: Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

Basically Oikawa has to give up volleyball and becomes a professor but Iwa continues volleyball and the two have drifted apart and their friendship has weakened. THIS IS SO GOOD. This is a long one but man did I fly through it, the author is fantastic!! If you love Iwaoi give this a read.

Well that’s it for this list but it’s just a few to get ya started! If y’all want more I would be happy to provide, I have way too many bookmarks on ao3. Let me know if you read of these or have anymore Iwaoi recs for me!! Happy reading and stay safe everyone :)))

#iwaoi #haikyuu!!#iwaizumi hajime #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi x oikawa #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #fic rec #haikyuu fic rec #iwaoi fic #iwaoi fic rec #anime

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wordsandshawn · 4 years

Text

Secret | Part 1 | #ShawnMendesWritingCircle

A/N: I’m so excited to get to be a part of this writing circle. Thank you @saysweartogod-og for coming up with this amazing idea. This fic is a little spin off of a secret billionaire trope, and I can honestly say I’m so excited to see where some of the amazing writers participating in this decide to take it. I hope you enjoy this first chapter, and feel free to send feedback or thoughts about the chapter and where you think it might go, because my guess is as good as yours, and I’d love to talk about it!

WC: 2.6K

From the moment you met Shawn six months ago, you knew that letting yourself get involved with him was a bad idea. It took you about three seconds to come up with a handful of reasons why you could never let yourself fall for him, but it only took him one night to make you forget them all.

You stepped into his condo, spotted him, and knew who he was immediately before the words, “Hey, I’m Shawn,” Even fell from his lips. You told yourself you’d never come back here before you spoke a single word to him. You also vowed to kill Brian and Alicia the second you got them alone.

Brian is dating your roommate, which is how you wound up here in the first place. Alicia knows you rarely ever go out because you’re either working or studying, so when she found out you weren’t working for the first time on a Friday night, she practically begged you to come with her. She said she was meeting some of Brian’s friends for the first time and didn’t want to be alone. Despite you telling her that she’d obviously have Brian there, she refused to give up, and finally, you reluctantly agreed to go. You had no idea that Brian’s “friend” was Shawn Mendes.

At first, your only focus was getting through the party and out of the condo without anyone posting a photo of you online, knowing that photo would be circulated within minutes if it had Shawn in it too, and that’s the last thing you’d want. You didn’t expect it to be too difficult to avoid being in a photo with Shawn considering the condo was not small by any means, and there’s no reason for him to take any type of notice of you.

Even though you regretted accepting the invitation, you still decided to make the most of the night. Since you rarely let yourself go out, you were determined to enjoy the one night you had. You’re still nursing your first drink, despite it already being warm. As time passes, you watch as everyone around you becomes more and more inebriated. Phones are out, as they often are at parties like these, and you’re tired of hiding in the darkest corner you could find, so you slip outside. You’re not outside for even five minutes before you hear the sliding door open, the music drifting out from inside.

“Y/n, right?” Shawn questions, stepping outside, and you try to hide the shock on your face over the fact that he remembered your name.

“Mhmm,” You respond intentionally looking away from him.

“What are you doing out here?” He asks, taking the spot beside you by the railing so the two of you are standing shoulder to shoulder, except his shoulder is about five inches above yours.

“I could ask you the same thing.” You respond, not wanting to give him the real answer to that question.

“They’re all taking a lot of pictures in there.” He says, as though that’s an answer to the question, but it’s not.

“It’s your party, why wouldn’t you want to be in the pictures?” You question, surprised. You know why you don’t want to be in them, but you can’t seem to fathom why he wouldn’t want to be in pictures with his friends at his own place.

“Don’t want people to know where I am,” He says with a shrug. “What about you, why’d you slip out just now?” He asks again since you avoided the question the first time.

“Needed some air,” You lie, keeping your eyes trained on the city lights.

He doesn’t press the topic anymore. You’re expecting him to wander away, back inside to the party, but he doesn’t. Shawn asks about how you know Brian and you explain that he’s dating your roommate. To be polite, you ask him the same question and he shares that they met when they were six and on the same soccer team. For some reason, conversation comes easy with him, and you almost let your guard down. Almost.

After a talking for a while, he asks, “Can I get your Instagram?”

Suddenly you remember the promise you made to yourself earlier. “I don’t have one.” You say before slipping past him and heading back inside in search of the bathroom. You don’t need to see his face to know he’s wearing a perplexed look. When people hear you don’t have an Instagram, they look at you like you’re from outer space. That’s how ridiculous they think it is, and then they think you’re lying because you’re not into them. Even though you’re not lying, you never really cared if that’s what they thought.

By the end of the night, you’re just glad to make it out of there. Alicia is drunk enough that you drive her car back to your apartment, and the whole time, she’s mumbling about how she thinks Shawn likes you and about how Brian told her that he thinks you two would be good together. You tell her she’s talking nonsense, and Shawn would never like you like that, but deep down, you knew you already liked Shawn more than you would want to admit.

Brian gave Shawn your number, and you texted for two months before moving beyond friendship, even though you both knew it was heading in that direction from the very beginning. It took that long for you to finally be convinced that he was a safe person to be with. Shawn knew from the very beginning, before you even got together, that you did not want to go public with the relationship. He knew that you were completely off of social media, so it made sense that you wanted to keep your life private, and he agreed that it would be for the best.

Even after you got together, he was rarely ever in Toronto. He was busy traveling for work, and you were busy with work and Uni, so it was mostly a long distance relationship with a lot of texting and facetiming, but you’ve managed to make it work and treasure the small amounts of time you have together.

Shawn’s finally back in town, and you spent most of the day lazily hanging out. When night hit, a bunch of Shawn’s friends came over, including Brian and Alicia. This party feels a lot different from the last one. In that one, you were keeping to yourself, mostly in the corner or outside. Tonight, you feel like you can let your guard down, at least a little bit. Shawn had made it clear that his friends couldn’t post any pictures with him in them because he was supposed to be in Miami and his management would basically kill him if it got out he slipped away to come home to Toronto. Shawn was determined to come home for the weekend. He missed you, so he made a promise to his management that no one would find out he was here.

It worked out better for you because you felt like you were safe from worrying about pictures posted online. What you didn’t realize was that his friends never promised not to post pictures at all, just that they wouldn’t post pictures of Shawn. You’re standing around the kitchen island, laughing about something Alicia is saying when you spot Brian looking down at his phone. Out of curiosity, your eyes fall on his screen to see you and Alicia. He clicks post before you have a chance to say anything. In a second, you’re standing in front of him. “Hey, what did you just post?” You ask him.

“Don’t worry, it’s a nice picture.” He says, shrugging.

“Brian, delete it.” You say. He’s already drunk, and you’re starting to wish you had more than one drink because of the anxiety raising up within you. “Please, you have to delete that. Delete it right now, please.” You swallow your anxiety and fear, trying to keep your emotions from getting the better of you. It’s only now that you realize that you were basically screaming, and all the other conversations going on stopped because everyone is focused on you.

“Chill,” Brian says, but when you make it clear that you’re serious, he finally concedes. “Fine.” He deletes it, showing you his phone as he does so.

“Thanks,” You mumble before pushing past everyone still standing around staring at you and disappearing into Shawn’s room, slamming the door behind you. You pace across the room a couple of times before you hear a knock on the door.

You don’t say anything or make a move to open it. You’re still trying to calm your breathing and remind yourself that nothing happened. The picture was only up for no more than a few minutes. Everything’s okay, and you’re just being paranoid, at least that’s what you tried to tell yourself.

The door opens, and you turn to see who it is. Shawn’s standing in the doorway, questions swimming in his eyes, but he doesn’t ask any of them right away. You sit down on the bed, taking a deep breath, readying yourself to face him. He steps inside, closing the door behind him. “You okay?” He asks.

You swallow hard to keep your emotions down, “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry about that.” You nod toward the door, but you don’t offer an explanation.

Shawn takes a seat next to you, “That wasn’t just about us keeping our relationship a secret, was it?” He questions softly. He’s putting the pieces together. Shawn wasn’t even in the Instagram story, and even though you know Shawn’s fans keep track of his every move and watch all of his friend’s stuff, you’re not delusional enough to think that if you’re in one story everyone will know about you and Shawn. But as soon as you realized that Shawn’s friends get tens of thousands of views on their stories, it worried you. You’re worried that someone would see it, someone who you didn’t want to see it.

“I’m sorry I freaked out.” You respond. “But you should get back to your friends. I think I’m just going to go.” You say, starting to stand up.

Shawn reaches out for you, taking your hand in his. “Please don’t go.” He says. “I just want to know what’s going on with you. Whatever it is, you can tell me.” He seems concerned. Even though you’ve only known him for a couple of months, you already trust Shawn more than you’ve trusted anyone else. But with all of his friends here, along with knowing he’s already had a few drinks, you know now’s not the time to talk about this.

“I really think I should go. I’ll see you later, okay?” Shawn doesn’t try to stop you again. He’s already made it clear that he wants you to stay, but if you want to go, he’ll let you.

You get into your car and drive back to your apartment. When you arrive, you see that Shawn has texted you a few times. He asks you to text him when you get home safely. He also lets you know that if you want to talk about what happened, he’s there.

You text him back, letting him know you made it home, but you don’t say anything about the picture. After replying to Shawn, you turn off your phone and get ready for bed, trying to fall asleep before you worry yourself sick.

The next morning, when you wake up, you’re surprised that you don’t see a message from Shawn. He must still be sleeping, you think to yourself before getting out of bed. After brushing your teeth and putting your contacts in, you start walking toward the kitchen in search of breakfast. You stop short as soon as you step out of the hallway because you see Shawn sitting at your dining room table. He looks up from his phone when he sees you.

“Hey, Alicia let me in.” He explains before nodding toward the donuts, “I brought donuts.”

“Thanks,” You whisper, pulling out a seat and sitting down.

“Can we talk about last night?” He asks, hesitantly.

You knew that you would have to tell him sometime, but you were hoping you could avoid it for at least a little while longer.

“My dad’s really,” You pause, searching for the right word, finally saying, “Controlling.”

Shawn’s eyebrows knit together, and he watches you closely. He doesn’t know where this conversation is going, and you don’t blame him.

“Both of my parents wanted me to go into the family business, but I didn’t want to. They didn’t want to hear it or even consider letting me do anything else. When I turned eighteen, I left. I got a scholarship to a university they never knew I applied to. I deleted all my social media’s and I moved away.” You haven’t spoken those words aloud to anyone, ever, and you didn’t realize they would be so difficult to say.

“You ran away?” Shawn questions, his voice barely above a whisper, and you know that he’s just trying to wrap his mind around all of it. It’s a lot, so you don’t blame him.

“I’m not a teenaged runaway. I’m not a missing person.” You respond, knowing how it sounds. “I was eighteen. I told them I was moving away to go to University. I just didn’t tell them which one because I didn’t want them to just show up or think they could buy their way back into my life. I needed to do it on my own.”

He’s not quite understanding how you could just cut your family out of your life, and you know it’s a difficult concept. “Buy their way in?” He asks.

“Yeah, knowing my dad, he’d do something like buy a building on campus or something and then make a whole show of dedicating and opening it, or find some way to show up and manipulate their way back into my life, and I just didn’t want that.”

“So, what does your dad do?”

“You ever heard of Ardes Corp.” Shawn’s eyes widen. Everyone’s heard of Ardes Corp. “My real name is Y/n Ardes. I started using my middle name as my last name, so people wouldn’t know.”

“Okay, but why go through all these lengths to still not be found by them? You clearly did it all on your own, putting yourself through Uni and everything. Why would it matter if they saw a picture of you online?”

“You know how I said I told them I was leaving, so I didn’t just run away?”

“Yeah?”

“Well it wasn’t the best conversation. They kind of disowned me, and I kind of don’t want them to find me and confront me or tell me I’m living my life wrong or do whatever they might do if they change my mind and try to drag me back home.” That may not be the full story, but you think it’ll be at least enough to satisfy Shawn for the time being.

When he nods, and hands you a napkin, you take it gratefully.

“I guess that’s why you won’t even step outside with me, huh?” He questions, opening the box of donuts.

You bite your lip, meeting his eyes and nodding.

He nods back, a silent understanding passes between the two of you. Even though you just threw a lot of information about your past at him, he doesn’t seem to be put off by it, instead, he took it all in stride.

“Thanks for buying the donuts.” You say, as he motions for you to choose first.

“You’re welcome.” He says with a smile.

You choose the twist and Shawn takes one with chocolate on it, and the two of you eat in comfortable silence. You have no doubt that Shawn has more questions, and there’s a lot more that he deserves to know, but he’s only here for another day, and you’d much rather focus on this delicious donut and the idea of some quality time alone with your boyfriend instead of rehashing your past.

#Shawn Mendes #ShawnMendesWritingCircle #Shawn Peter Raul Mendes #Shawn Mendes imagine #Shawn Mendes fic #Shawn Mendes Writing Circle

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fuckinuchihas · 4 years

Text

So my obsession with Tsukishima does not appear to be going away so here have some like janky fake texts and a mini fic about the hell you feel when you fall in love with Tsukishima Kei.

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Rated: Teen and up+

Warnings: The amount of angst you’d expect to come from falling in love with an asshole...but happy endings all around! Xoxo Enjoy!

‘I’m so stupid,’ you whisper to yourself in the dark of your bedroom. ‘Stupid stupid stupid.’

Of course if Kei knew what you were really thinking he’d probably agree that you’re worse than Kageyama and Hinata combined with or without the head trauma.

What were you expecting anyway… a love confession...from Tsukishima?

He would never.

Even if he actually liked you, even if he wanted you, he’ll never say something like that and not ever in public.

Being in love is lame, you’re lame...and that’s exactly what he’d say to you if he could read the word written on your heart.

One single word…

Kei

★・・・・・★・・・・・★・・・・・★

You do your best to put on a brave face the next day, smiling as you say hello to his mother and feel her arms wrap around you. It takes everything inside you not to break down when Akiteru does the same.

“It’s so good to have you back,” she says, patting your head.

“It’s really nice to be back, don’t have to feel homesick any more,” you lie, because being at home for you has always meant Kei and now it just feels like you’re drifting even further apart. You push away your thoughts and grin up at them. “I know, what do you think of pork and noodles for dinner tonight? It’s the least I can do after Kei picked me up from the airport yesterday.”

“You don’t have to-” he starts, but Akiteru quickly interrupts him.

“Shut up, Kei. Let them make a meal for us,” he says through his smile, “I’ve really missed your cooking.”

You smile, genuinely this time. “Well I’m happy to do it. Seriously, you’re welcome to have dinner next door any time.”

Tsukishima scoffs, but the other two grin at you so you focus on that.

Making dinner is calming, you find your peace in the kitchen even with the whirlwind of emotions that are still spinning wildly in your chest.

A constant thrum of ‘we’re just friends’ plays on loop through your head as you pour the gravy over the drained pasta.

You pull out your phone to let them know dinner is almost ready.

Part of you wishes you did have Akiteru’s number, not that you could use it. You’re trying to pretend everything is okay and Tuskishima isn’t a fucking moron so if you text his brother instead of him to say dinner is ready for the first time ever, he’s definitely going to notice something is up.

You take a deep breath and type out your message.

★・・・・・★・・・・・★・・・・・★

Surprisingly you manage to make it through dinner without too much hassle, mostly thanks to Akiteru who keeps the conversation going.

Tsukishima is quieter than usual but you try not to think too hard about it.

You’ve got to get better at this pulling away thing. No matter how much you try to distance yourself; both emotionally and physically, your heart doesn’t seem to be getting the memo.

“Thank you so much for dinner, it really was delicious. It might be my favorite so far!” Akiteru says and you grin as he wraps around you again.

“You’re welcome and I wasn’t just being polite, you can come over to eat anytime.”

“I will take you at your word, it really is good to have you home, right Kei?”

There’s a hesitation and your heart shatters in your chest. The sharp broken pieces splicing open everything they touch. Each one feels like a gaping stab wound and you’re somehow surprised that you’re not actually bleeding out on the floor.

“Of course,” he says, absentmindedly. He’s been drifting out of the conversation all night and now he’s...he’s staring you in the face and thinking of something or someone else.

“I should really get some work done but you guys have a nice night and don’t forget to save some of the leftovers for your mom, okay?”

“If I have to,” Akiteru grins, sticking his tongue out at you.

You chuckle as they move further into the doorway.

“Goodnight,” they both say, Kei’s almost whispered.

“Goodnight!”

You close the door behind them and start to clean up when there’s a loud almost violent knock on your door.

You wipe your hands off and quickly make your way to open it, only to find Kei red faced and angry on the other side.

“What happened?” you ask, looking around to see if Akiteru is with him.

“That’s what I’d like to know!”

“I don’t-what are you talking about?” you ask, racking your brain for a legitimate reason why he could be angry with you, only to come up empty.

“Every time I leave you, you say be safe... text me when you get home...but not today, not yesterday either. Not once since you got back.”

You honestly didn’t even think about it, you just... you were trying to create distance.

“I’m sorry, Tsukki. Of course I want you to be safe…”

“No, that’s-there’s something... you’re mad about the sign, I know that...I even understand why but I don’t understand this,” he says, shaking his head as a gust of cool air blows around you and you feel yourself shiver.

“Come back in, there’s no sense in catching a cold,” you answer.

Once he’s back inside you sit him on the couch and will yourself to be strong. “Tsukki I’m not mad about the sign...not really. It was funny and any other time I would have laughed but…”

“But what? What happened? What changed?”

And that’s the kicker, nothing changed. Your expectations were too high, too unrealistic, but how do you say that without admitting your feelings?

“I did, I changed Tsukki. I’m sorry that I upset you. I didn’t mean to worry you or anything, not that you’re worried, I’m just saying...I didn’t mean to inconvenience you.”

“Inconvenience me... “ he says, slowly sounding it out as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Since when have you ever been an inconvenience?”

You sigh, realizing that you’re probably not going to escape this little conversation with your dignity intact. “Tsukki do you remember that black and white spotted stray we found when we were younger?”

“Uh, yes…”

“And how I went out and spent all of my allowance on food and toys because I just expected it would want to come home with me?”

“I don’t see what this has to do with anything but yes I remember it.”

“Well in my heart that dog was already mine, but when I tried to get it inside the house, it would yelp and run away…eventually I just had to realize that the dog wasn’t mine, he wasn’t ever going to be mine. I shouldn’t have just expected him to want to come home with me, to live in a strange place away from the things he’s always known.”

You swallow, heart pounding in your chest as you give him a minute to connect the dots.

“It hurt for a while but eventually I got over it. I will get over this too, don’t worry.”

“I’m the dog…” he says, whispering quietly. The only reason you hear it is because he sat so close.

“I’m going to finish the dishes, you can head home whenever you’re ready,” you say, squeezing his shoulder as you step away.

You barely get a couple feet when you hear a swoosh of air and you’re jerked backward a bit, tight grip on your wrist.

“Kei?”

“I’m not a dog…”

You sigh, “I know Kei, it was just-“

“I’m not a coward either,” he says, cutting you off.

“I wasn’t implying you were scared, Tsukki; only that you don’t belong to me.”

“I-“

“Kei listen I know it’s not fair that I put all of this on you, but you don’t need to feel any obligation. You’ve been the best friend I could ask for, it’s okay that you don’t feel anything beyond that. I’m the one who messed up,” you say, the emotion of it finally starting to come out through your shaky voice and the tears that threaten to spill.

“You’re the most frustrating person I’ve ever met!” he says, tightening his grip before jerking you back in against his chest. “Do I really strike you as someone to do something out of a sense of obligation or duty?”

He’s holding you against him and it feels so warm and comforting and he smells like the fabric softener sheets you used to get for his mom when you went to the store.

The dam breaks and you start crying. You start and you can’t stop, just heaving and sobbing in his arms. It hurts so much.

“I’m sorry, Tsukki. I’m sorry I’m such a loser, I’m sorry I fell in love with you, I’m sorry I couldn’t just be happy with our friendship. I'm so sorry,” you say through the tears, though it’s hardly audible.

“Never apologize for loving me,” he says, pulling away from you just enough to tilt your chin up so he can see your eyes. “After all I’m hoping you can manage to do it another seventy or eighty years.”

Your heart stutters and you gasp in surprise.

You don’t have time to really think about it before you feel his lips on yours, bruising and rough almost like a punishment.

You’re panting and trying to hold yourself up when he pulls away, staring down at you with glassy eyes. “Don’t let me hurt you like that ever again.”

He kisses the top of your head and you feel him frown. “I never imagined you would think that stupid sign meant I didn’t love you. I’m not running away, I want to be yours and for you to be mine.”

“You... you really want that? You’re not just doing this because you umm feel guilty or whatever?”

“Say that again and this time listen to yourself. I’m not the kind of guy who makes big romantic gestures, but that doesn’t mean I love you any less than someone who does.”

“I don’t need gestures. I just need this,” you say, squeezing tighter around him half afraid he’ll disappear.

“Hmm,” he hums, kissing your forehead one last time.

“It’s getting late, I should go but clear out your plans for tomorrow you’re spending time with me.”

“Okay,” you answer easily, happier than you ever thought you could be.

★・・・・・★・・・・・★・・・・・★

When Kei comes to pick you up the next morning he actually comes inside making you chuckle because you haven’t even gotten the invitation out before he pushes you gently to the side and heads straight for your bedroom.

You gasp in shock, “KEI!”

He turns to look at you and seems to just know that’s where your thoughts went and he smirks. “Not quite there yet,’ he says, teasing you in that way that warms your chest but also kinda pisses you off.

“Well then what are you doing, asshole?”

“I’m just getting a few things,” he says, like it’s not your drawers he’s rumbling through as he-packs your suitcase?

“Uhh...where exactly are we going on this date?” you ask, because you’re kinda hoping to be back before dinner time.

“Just trust me, okay?” he says, and he looks kind of...well not serious but determined so you nod quickly to reassure him.

“Okay, I’ll leave things up to you then. Please stay out of my underwear drawer, it’s the smaller middle one,” you say, before grinning and walking away.

You both trust him not to look but also don’t really mind if he does. There’s not a lot of embarrassing things in there or anything, but you doubt Tsukki is the type to investigate, at least not yet...maybe when you’re closer.

He comes out of your room straight faced and wheeling your suitcase behind him like a professional flight attendant even though one of the wheels doesn’t quite spin at the same pace as the others.

Smug fucker knows you’re impressed too.

“Are you ready to go now?” you ask, waiting for him to join you by the door.

“Yes, let’s go.”

He opens the door for you, which is new...and kind of sweet. You try very hard not to let the heat you feel crawling up your neck go all the way to your cheeks.

Then he puts your luggage in and climbs behind the wheel.

You mess with the radio just a bit but you both have similar tastes in music so he doesn’t care too much. You close your eyes for a while and just listen to the music, stealing glances at Tsukishima every now and again to remind yourself that this is real.

After a while you look up and see the road sign for NIA and you jerk forward a bit.

“Tsukki umm...I’m not questioning your judgement or anything but why are we headed to the airport exactly?”

“I thought you were going to trust me…”

“Trusting you doesn’t mean I can’t ask questions,” you say, eyeing him skeptically.

Tsukishima signed, “Don’t make me get the blindfold.”

You barely manage to stay composed at that, but you face toward the window letting the cool glass press against your burning cheeks. “Whatever you say, Tsukki.”

“Now that’s the attitude I’ve been waiting for,” he says, and you can hear his smug grin in his voice.

“I will literally leave you at the airport, don’t push me.”

He laughs, but doesn’t say anything further. It feels a little like he’s grateful for the banter, but that could just be you projecting. You love his sarcasm even when it stings; not having that, even for a couple days, felt like an eternity.

You follow instructions, however reluctantly and eventually Tsukishima pulls into the parking garage near the airport

He hands you the handle of your suitcase instead of wheeling it himself and it’s not that you really mind wheeling it but...why?

“Here, take this and wait for me near the ticket counter, okay?”

“Uhh sure...I guess,” you say, feeling more confused than ever but you told him you’d trust him so you do.

You sit there for a while, long enough for it to cross your mind that maybe he’s just left you there looking like an idiot, but you know he wouldn’t, not really. He has a sharp tongue but Kei isn’t ever intentionally hurtful, not to anyone.

There’s a few sounds, mostly shock as people turn to stare. You follow their gaze and nearly fall out of your seat when you see what they’re looking at.

Tsukishima is somehow managing to hold onto a bouquet of your favorite wildflowers, half a dozen green and gold balloons, and a sign that says, “I’m here to pick up… THE PERSON I LOVE!”

Tears stream down your face as you run and jump up against him, wrapping your arms around him as tightly as they’ll go, completely ignoring the fact that his hands are full and he can’t hold you along with everything else.

The sign drops, the balloons are released into the air and the flowers are smushed but he’s holding you, and to him, that’s the most important one of all.

★・・・・・★・・・・・★・・・・・★

MASTERLIST

#not naruto #haikyuu!!#not knb #my stuff #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukkishima kei #texts and shit #angst with a happy ending

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and-it-freezes-me · 3 years

Text

Accidents Happen - To Pieces

Summary: Roman, feeling himself coming undone at the edges, continues to dig. Almost everything that could go wrong, does.

Content: Discussion of drugs, fainting, (brief) discussion of disordered eating, alcohol use, discussions of bad parenting

Word count: 7,188

{Part 3} {Part 5}

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Three days. They were going to meet outside Janus’ house at around four on Friday, and it was now eight on Wednesday morning. So… Forty-eight hours until eight on Friday, and then eight hours until they met up, and add another hour to actually put his plan into motion… Fifty-seven hours was almost too long for Roman to wait to get to the truth.

But he did it anyway, because this was the plan he had made, and because he couldn’t risk Janus getting suspicious and hurting Remus again.

When he got to school on Wednesday, Janus was waiting outside his locker for him, and Roman had to fight down the urge to sink his fist into his jaw. He’d aim for the scarred side, knowing it would hurt more, watch Janus stumble back, hands flying to his face… He didn’t. Instead he greeted him, smiled at him, and went over a few flashcards for their calculus exam that afternoon.

He begged off their lunchtime revision session, though.

Instead of going to the library, he went to find Virgil. There had to be more he could find out about Janus, about whatever he had on Remus, and the odds were that the caffeine-fueled senior would know more than he had told Roman in the first place. It would be hard to keep his reputation as the all-knowing man of mystery if he just gave away all of his secrets as soon as somebody said please.

Virgil was sitting cross-legged on the ground in front of one of the benches outside the back of the school when Roman found him, his head in Patton’s lap, allowing the other boy to braid small plaits into his dress-code-breaking purple hair. They were both giggling, and Roman almost felt bad about interrupting their private bubble of sunlight with his approach - then he realised that there was so much bad inside of him already that he couldn’t fit any more in. He stopped in front of Virgil, waited until his dark eyes broke away from Patton’s broad grin, and then cleared his throat. Virgil raised an eyebrow at him. “How can you possibly want more from me? I gave you everything I had on Janus…”

Patton made a scandalised noise, and tugged sharply on the plait he was working on. “Verge! You said you’d stop dealing secrets!”

“Ow, Pat, I lied, alright? Lay off…” Virgil winced and rubbed the side of his head, and a look that Roman couldn’t decipher passed between them. Then Patton sighed, nodded, and returned to playing with Virgil’s hair. There were three flowers in it, and Roman was certain that Virgil didn’t know they were there.

He cleared his throat again, licked his lower lip, and debated joining Virgil on the floor. “I think you have more.”

“Do you.” It wasn’t a question, and Virgil’s voice was flat. Patton’s eyes moved slowly between the two of them.

“You know everything about everyone.”

“I’m flattered, but we all know that’s not entirely true,” Virgil responded, sounding almost bored. He was doing a very good impersonation of his elder brother - and Roman hoped, for the hundredth time, that he didn’t know that Remy was dealing again.

“Fine. Tell me about Remus.”

Roman hadn’t realised that it was an order until Patton frowned up at him, his golden curls falling into his uncomfortably inquisitive blue eyes. “Manners, Roman. If you can’t be polite, you’re not getting anything.” Virgil just shrugged when Roman looked at him.

Roman resisted the urge to snap at Patton to shut up, to mock Virgil for letting his bit on the side try to run business for him, and wondered when he had become villainous enough to think like that. He swallowed and nodded once. “Sorry, Patton, Virgil. Please, tell me about Remus?”

They both considered him for a long second. Finally Patton nodded, apparently satisfied, and pushed his glasses back up his button nose before returning to Virgil’s hair. The information broker, on the other hand, gave no such quarter. “No.”

“I… I beg your pardon?”

“No. I’m not informing on your brother to you.” Roman felt as though he had been reduced to merely staring at people in mute shock more times in the last week than ever before. Virgil rolled his eyes and leaned his head back into Patton’s lap again. “You could have asked him anything you wanted, any time you wanted, and you didn’t.”

“Then…” Roman cast around desperately. He should just cut to the chase. Shifting from one foot to the other, he licked his lower lip, struggling to meet Virgil’s gaze. “Then… Tell me what Janus has been blackmailing him with. ...Please,” he added, because Patton’s stern gaze was on him again.

The expression on Virgil’s face was something like pity, but moved his head a tiny distance from left to right and then back again, as much as a shake as he could manage with Patton curling his hair around his fingers. “No. If you’d have given a shit about Remus before he ended up in prison, you’d have spoken to him before. I’m not telling you anything else. Patton, are you braiding flowers in-”

“I’ll tell Logan you’re cheating on them.”

A haze of anger had descended on Roman’s vision, and he had blurted the words out before he had properly thought them through, before he could jerk them back into his skull and bury them with the rest of his mealy, maggoty, un-Prince-like thoughts.

It felt as though time had stopped. Virgil had paused mid-sentence, Patton’s hands had frozen mid-way through trying to sneak a daisy into the plait he was working on. The sound of shouting from the front of the school had stopped; even the wind had ceased to blow. The couple in front of him looked very briefly confused - and then Virgil’s expression changed to one of absolute disgust, whilst Patton’s became merely disappointed. Very disappointed. Roman discovered that he could manage to feel bad about something else, after all.

He was stepping backward, already trying to find a hole in which to curl up and die, when Virgil’s hand shot out and fastened around his lucky red sash, dragging Roman down so that they were face to face.

“For your information,” Virgil began, drawing the words out so that Roman could feel the disdain and anger in every syllable, “Logan is fully involved in our relationship with Patton.”

Another second of horrible, itching silence. Roman risked a glance at Patton, and found that he was refusing to meet his eyes. Then Virgil shook him once and, when he was sure that he had his attention again, continued speaking, his words deliberate, furious, cold.

“I never thought you would stoop this low. Remus might be unpredictable, sometimes dangerous, but you’re even worse, aren’t you?”

Roman shook his head desperately. “I - no! I -”

“No? Nothing gets in the way of your goals, Roman. Don’t think I hadn’t noticed. Not your friendships, not your morals, not even your own twin about whom you care so very much. Do you want to know the difference between you and Remus, Roman?”

Roman shook his head faster, and Virgil tugged him close enough that he could feel his breath on his cheek.

“Remus hurts people. You don’t even see your victims as people - you see them as obstacles in the way of your perfect, shining life. Remus knows what he’s done, what he does, and you? You have no idea what you do to the people around you. You pretend to be the hero, you’ve managed to delude yourself into believing that you’re the hero - Remus accepts that he’s human, while you think you’re some kind of god. You’re not.” Virgil was surprisingly strong. Roman was trying frantically to tug his sash out of his black-nailed grip but to no avail. “You’re so full of self-righteousness you can’t even see that people can make mistakes without being monsters - and you can’t see yourself turning into one, either.”

He released him with the air of one dropping a particularly filthy sock into a laundry basket, and Roman stumbled backward, panting. “Hasn’t your family hurt me and my dates enough? Get out of here.”

Roman didn’t need telling twice.

He considered saying he was sick to get out of school on Thursday. It wasn’t entirely untrue: after his confrontation with Virgil, Roman had found himself hurling what little lunch he had managed to eat into one of the toilets near the sports hall; a similar thing had occurred later, after dinner, when he had started trying to think through what Virgil had said. Skipping breakfast seemed like the safest thing to do in light of all of that.

In the end, he knew he couldn’t skip. Not really. He had two more exams that day, and if he missed them his grades would tank. He couldn’t let that happen. Not on top of everything else going on.

Roman had thought that he and Virgil were still friends, even if they didn’t talk much anymore. Well, obviously they weren’t now, but… He hadn’t realised that he had hurt Virgil that much. He had thought they had just drifted apart halfway through middle school the way people do, because they have different interests - but apparently that had not been the case from Virgil’s point of view. So what if he had missed a few calls from him, skipped a few invitations to hang out? They had stopped talking properly some time after Virgil came back to school - he had been off for a few weeks toward the start of eighth grade. Virgil had always passed it off as no big deal.

Remus had always passed everything off as no big deal, too.

This time it was only bile that rose in Roman’s throat, and he swallowed it away. He could fix the mess between him and Virgil once he had figured out how to save Remus and ensured that Janus met his downfall.

He tried to speak to Logan as they filed out of their history exam that morning, but they just scowled at him. Clearly, Virgil had told them what had happened.

Janus was happy to talk to him, though. Janus was happy to talk to him, to sit with him, to talk and talk and talk at him, until Roman wanted to wring his stupidly graceful neck. Instead he just smiled, nodded, gave absent half-answers where he thought they were appropriate.

“There was a greater focus on The Great Depression in that exam than I was expecting, you know?” Janus asked as they sat down on the grass outside.

“I guess so,” Roman murmured, pulling out his lunchbox and his revision notes.

“Depressing, if you’ll excuse the easy pun.” Roman didn’t chuckle.

“You don’t eat much lately,” Janus commented, putting a gloved hand on Roman’s wrist as he closed the lid on his practically untouched egg rolls.

“Not hungry,” Roman muttered.

“Hm,” Janus responded. He squeezed Roman’s forearm briefly before pulling away.

“You seem distracted today. Everything alright?” Janus pressed. They were packing up to go to their afternoon exam.

“Yeah, just stressed,” was Roman’s automatic answer.

“We still good for tomorrow afternoon?”

“Yes.” It was the most emphatic answer Roman had given all day, and Janus looked pleased.

Snake.

Roman passed out halfway through his biology exam on Friday morning.

It had been hot in the exam hall, even more so than it had been on Monday, and Roman found that he had emptied his water bottle within half an hour of the exam starting. The words on the paper before him had blurred again, had straightened out when he had blinked, and then blurred again. It took until his pen caught on the paper and sent a spray of ink over his desk that he realised that his hands were shaking, and once he noticed, he couldn’t make them stop. He couldn’t control his own handwriting, either: no matter how many times he blinked at it, how many times he rubbed a hand over his face and pressed his knuckles into his eyes until he saw stars, it seemed determined to quiver in place before scuttling over the lines of his paper, their spider-like scurrying taking on Virgil’s voice. Monster, they said, villain.

His throat felt like a desert, tumbleweeds blowing across his tongue, and his water bottle was empty. Roman’s chair made an unnaturally loud scraping sound as he pushed it back; he could feel eyes turning toward him, burning holes in the back of his neck. Small black spots appeared in his vision as he stood to walk to the water cooler at the front of the hall, and although he squeezed his eyes shut tight before taking a step, they didn’t go away. They danced around the corners of his vision as he started moving between desks, keeping his eyes fixed on the clock on the front wall. How much time was he wasting here?

He didn’t realise he had stopped walking until his professor’s face swam into focus in front of him, her mouth moving. Roman had no idea what she was saying - it was as though he was underwater, with her swaying in front of him, sound bubbling past his ears in unintelligible blobs. Raising his hands, he tried to show her his water bottle, hoping he could get his message across, and then realised that his hands were empty. Had he dropped it? Or was it still back at his desk?

Roman tried to turn around to check, and that was when he felt his legs give out beneath him. He didn’t have time to worry about the ground rushing up toward him, though: it disappeared into a dark fog before it got too close.

The next thing he saw was Janus, haloed in a soft, bronze light and gazing at him in concern. Roman’s head throbbed dully: he went to raise a hand to rub it, and realised that he was lying on his back, head resting on something soft.

Janus was saying something, but he wasn’t entirely sure what it was. It looked as though he was arguing with someone: he was waving one hand the way he did when he was talking passionately about something. Where was his other hand? Usually both were involved in this dance - oh. There it was, running through Roman’s hair. He could feel his fingertips pressing lightly against his scalp.

Roman suddenly realised that his head was in Janus’ lap.

That was when sound returned to his surroundings.

“- be his choice!” That was Janus.

“He could have a concussion! This isn’t up for debate, Mr. Sinclaire.” Who was that? A teacher?

“He doesn’t have a concussion, Ma’am -” The emphasis in Janus’ voice said that he was seconds away from calling the teacher something far less complimentary. “- and you know that because you saw me catch him. He just needs to get outside.”

Roman blinked, and Janus’ fingers hesitated in his hair, then rubbed a gentle circle just behind one ear.

“His parents need to be called, at least. I don’t know if you missed it, Sinclaire, but Mr. Wang just collapsed.”

Roman sat up slowly, feeling the room swim around him, and was braced by an arm slipping under his shoulders to support him.

The irritation was even clearer in Janus’ voice now. “How could I have missed it? I caught him, while you just stood there and watched. Roman is an adult, meaning that it is his decision who should or should not be informed, and given that he recovered consciousness within five minutes, basic health training states that he should only be taken to hospital if he faints again, or begins acting unusually. So how about we ask him, hm?”

It was Janus’ arm supporting him, Roman realised. Their teacher was just staring at him, and it occurred to him that he was supposed to say something now. He licked his lower lip anxiously. “I… I’m fine. Don’t call them. Just need to finish my paper…” Roman tried to pull away from Janus to stand up, stumbled, and found himself grateful for the fact that Janus rose with him and caught him again.

Both he and the teacher were shaking their heads now. “Ro, don’t be stupid. You need a-”

“Mr. Wang, don’t worry about the paper. ”

“Come on. We’re heading outside, Ro. We can come back to discuss making up the paper later.” Janus was draping one of Roman’s arms over his own shoulders to help himself support him.

Roman nodded slowly. He didn’t really feel good about walking out, but the idea of going back to his paper wasn’t a particularly pleasant one either. Besides, he had a feeling that neither Janus nor Miss Fox were about to let him do that.

It wasn’t until Janus started guiding him toward the fire door that he realised that everybody else was still sat in their seats, most of them staring at him. Janus appeared to notice him noticing, because the arm around his waist squeezed his side briefly and he murmured, “Hey. Focus on getting out of here, alright? Everything’s gonna be okay.”

“Okay,” he muttered back.

Janus guided him out of the sports hall, grabbing both Roman’s backpack and his satchel from the heap by the door. Roman blinked in the bright morning sunlight. It felt as though he had been in the exam hall for hours, days, through the heat-death of the universe - not less than an hour, assuming Janus had been right about him only passing out for a few minutes.

A thought occurred to Roman then, and he frowned. Having checked the seating arrangements earlier that morning, he knew for a fact that Janus’ seat had been somewhere behind his: it didn’t make any sense for him to have caught him. He’d have had to practically teleport across half the hall to be there on time. He said as much. “Did you really catch me? How were you right there? You should’a been on the other side of the hall.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of Janus’ mouth. “After you got up and stumbled halfway up to the front, then just stood and swayed at Fox? There was obviously something wrong. And all she could do was ask you what you were doing and if you could return to your seat. You could have been seriously injured if she’d have just let you fall and crack your head on a desk on the way down. The incompetence.” He scoffed, and Roman’s mind boggled at the fact that he had just been rescued by the villain he was trying to bring down. Janus seemed to be thinking along similar lines, because as he maneuvered the two of them around the bins at the back of the sports hall, he commented, “Always thought it would be you catching me as I swooned, not the other way around. Funny how these things work out, huh?”

“So you abandoned your paper because I walked across a room? Where are we going, anyway?” Roman was fairly sure that he could walk on his own now, but there was something comforting about leaning against Janus. It was the physical contact, of course - Roman wasn’t entirely sure of the last time he had hugged somebody - not the fact that it was Janus with an arm around his waist.

“The bench behind the science block. That alright?” Janus waited until Roman had nodded before continuing. “And no, not just because of that. Virgil texted me on Wednesday, said all the evidence pointed toward you having a slow-mo breakdown - his words - and that I should keep an eye on you. Sit.”

Roman sat. What else had Virgil said? Did Janus know he was onto him? He wouldn’t blame Virgil if he had gone and spilled all the beans - a spider couldn’t be expected to keep its secrets for long. What good was an intricately crafted web with nobody there to marvel at it?

But Janus didn’t look mad. He was digging through his backpack, and after a second he tossed something into Roman’s lap before sitting down beside him. “Eat.”

“What?” Roman picked up the thing Janus had thrown at him. It was a sandwich, sealed in a reusable plastic bag. Red jam was oozing out from its edges. He swallowed. “This is your lunch. I’m not eating your lunch.”

“Well, you’re not eating your lunch, so you’re going to eat this.” The response had been immediate, brisk; Janus looked a little guilty, and took a deep breath before continuing in a much more gentle tone. “And it’s not my lunch. I’ve been making an extra sandwich every day in case you needed it. And you obviously do.”

Roman considered arguing, but decided against it. There was probably poison hidden between the brown bread. He opened the bag and pulled out the sandwich, then nibbled quietly at one corner.

Janus wasn’t touching him anymore. Roman wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or frustrated. No, he was - he should be grateful. He didn’t want to touch his nemesis any more than he had to to keep up the act. The little thing inside that was begging for Janus to hug him again was just the part of him that was so desperate for affection that even a monster would do.

“Roman, are you… Alright?” The brunet sounded tentative, as though he were afraid to upset him by asking, but as though the question really mattered to him. Yet again, Roman reflected upon how good an actor Janus had turned out to be.

He swallowed a bite of sandwich. “Fine. Tip-top. Never better. Why’d you ask?”

Janus gave him what could only be described as a look, and started counting on his fingers. “Let’s see… You just passed out halfway through an exam, Virgil’s concerned enough about you to actually ask me to keep an eye on you; unnecessary because I was doing that already because, oh yes, your twin brother is in prison for grievous bodily harm, and you’ve gone from being slender to being positively skin and bones in less than two months.” It looked as though Janus wanted to say more, but he stopped himself.

There was jam on his fingers. It was sticking to his skin in stains almost the colour of blood, and Roman stared at the last bite of sandwich in his hand for a few seconds before popping into his mouth and sucking his fingers. Demons and monsters drank blood as though it were lemonade, right? And according to his inner compass, he was well on the way to becoming one of them. According to Virgil, he was already a monster.

“Drink.” Janus handed him a water bottle, and Roman obeyed. “I’m just worried about you, Princey. I’m your friend - possibly your only friend, given the fact that I’ve never seen you actually hang out with anybody else - and I don’t want to watch you burn away.”

“I’m… Just stressed.” Roman offered finally. Janus just looked at him, face open, and Roman was struck by the urge to tell him everything. He didn’t. “It’s been rough not having Remus around. I mean, I know he’s a monster, ‘n all,” he hurried to clarify, eyes landing on the burn tissue around Janus’ bad eye, “but… Home’s different without him.”

It looked as though Janus wanted to say something. He opened his mouth, his throat bobbed as he swallowed and winced, but in the end he just rested a hand on Roman’s knee and squeezed it. “I think you should go home. Get some rest. Sitting Geometry this afternoon isn’t going to-”

“I’m not going home. I - It’s just one more exam, plus whatever I need to do to make up Bio. I’m not failing just because-”

“Just because you worked yourself to the point of collapse?” Janus took his empty bottle back from Roman and returned it to his backpack, ignoring the scowl Roman gave him. “Fine. But only if you eat lunch today. I’m sitting with you, and if you don’t finish, I’m skipping this afternoon to take you home.”

“My dad will be home. It’s his day off.”

“I never specified whose home.”

Roman let out a grunt of frustration and pressed his face into his hands, and Janus squeezed his knee again. Roman wished he would stop. Not the knee-squeezing in particular - all of it. The lying. The pretending to be Roman’s friend when he had blackmailed Remus into prison. The pretending to care when he was just looking for a way into Roman’s head, a way to destroy him as well. It was difficult to believe that the boy sitting next to him, the one that had helped him out of the exam hall and had had a panic attack because his sleeve had caught fire, was the same person as the man that Remus was so clearly scared of.

If Janus kept this up, Roman was scared that he’d forget who the villain was altogether. He needed to finish this, and soon.

“Okay. Deal, whatever. Can we still hang out this afternoon?”

Janus looked incredulous, and the expression brought a faint smile to Roman’s wan face. “You still want to hike through the woods after this?”

“Yes. I’ve been looking forward to it all week.” It wasn’t a lie.

“I… Okay. But only if you eat everything, and you don’t pass out again in Geometry. And if you start getting dizzy while we’re walking, we’re going back to mine to watch TV. My parents are going out of town for the weekend.”

Roman opened his mouth to argue, but the firm stare Janus gave him clearly said that there was no point. He stared him down until Roman finally nodded.

He ate his lunch while Janus quizzed him on formulae for the exam that afternoon. When he was done, Janus handed him a raisin biscuit; when he looked at him in askance, the other shrugged and said, “I heard that squashed flies are lucky in some parts of the world.”

They met outside Roman’s house at four, Roman squinting in the summer sun, Janus sporting a large pair of sunglasses. Janus was also carrying his satchel, and when Roman asked what was in it, he opened it to reveal two bottles of water and another blood sandwich. Smart.

The clear plastic bag that had gotten Remus kicked out of the house was in Roman’s back pocket, but he didn’t mention it yet.

Roman tried to ignore the anxious glances Janus gave him every few minutes as they walked into the trees, as though he was expecting him to just keel over any second. He withstood a full ten minutes of silence and furtive looks before finally speaking up. “I’m not going to, you know.”

Janus noticeably startled - or pretended to, at any rate - and then gave Roman a thoroughly unconvincing look of surprised innocence. “Not going to what?”

“Collapse again. I’m not going to, so you can quit watching me like I will.” Roman picked up the pace a little.

“I’m not watching you as though you’re about to collapse,” Janus protested, walking faster to keep up with Roman. How annoying.

“You are. You keep looking at me, and your forehead goes all scrunched, like somebody’s planning on planting root vegetables in it.”

Janus made an exasperated noise, and Roman glanced briefly over his shoulder to see him tugging at the cuffs of his gloves and then adjusting his beanie. Why was he still wearing that thing? Wasn’t he roasting?

“Fine, I was watching you. It’s scary, alright? Watching someone you care about just crumple up like that.” Roman deliberately ignored the fact that Janus was trying to imply that he cared about him. Actually, he internally scoffed at the words. Janus had been rather heavy-handed with the beguiling today, first stroking his hair and saying they were friends, and now saying he cared about him. Not at all up to his usual subtle standard.

The repeatedly exaggerated care was making Roman irritable and snappy. "It won't happen again. I'm not fragile."

"I know you're not, R- Roman." Janus sighed. "Sorry." And that managed to make Roman feel even worse, even though he knew that Janus was just trying to manipulate him further.

"Whatever," he snapped, speeding up again until he was moving at a run.

Janus kept pace with him without complaint, even though Roman could hear his breathing becoming more and more laboured as they headed deeper into the forest. By the time they stopped in a small clearing by a stream, he was gasping for breath.

"It's nice here," Roman said gruffly, and Janus doubled over, his ragged inhalations the only sound in the quiet space.

It took approximately three seconds for Roman to stop feeling some perverse satisfaction over having managed to make Janus suffer, and to start feeling guilty. He didn’t want to feel guilty, of course - but it wasn’t something he could help.

Taking the three steps back toward him, he took Janus gently by the arm and guided him to a large rock, where he sat, wheezing. “Sorry,” Roman murmured. Flipping Janus’ satchel open, he pulled out one of the water bottles and opened it, then handed it over and watched Janus take a few small sips.

It was a few minutes before Roman was able to hear birdsong over Janus’ gradually slowing breaths, and a while after that before Janus cleared his throat - it sounded painful - and returned the water bottle to his bag. He offered Roman a nervous smile. “If you were trying to turn my lungs to mush, Princey, you’ve had quite a good go…”

“Sorry,” Roman muttered again, and this time he accepted the apology with a nod and a wave of one gloved hand.

“You’re forgiven. It’s not your fault, really.”

“It’s Remus’?” Maybe Roman sounded a little overeager in pushing for more information, because Janus gave him an undecipherable look.

“I was going to say that it was mine. I could have just stayed walking at a sustainable pace.”

“Well, I’m flattered you tried to keep up,” Roman made himself chuckle, pressing one hand against his chest. Janus wouldn’t have let him run off on his own: the other had made it quite clear that he thought he was about to faint in the middle of the forest and be eaten by rats if he wasn’t around.

This time, the look Janus gave him was like the surface of a hot spring: placid on the surface, but Roman could tell that there was something simmering below.

The thought occurred to him that maybe Janus had allowed himself to be dragged into the middle of the woods because the trees and lack of witnesses would give him ample opportunity to reveal whatever heinous thing he had done to Remus, and that he had enough material to blackmail Roman into driving a second car into a pole if he wanted him to. Clearing his throat, Roman took a step back (he had been hovering in front of Janus like a wrong-doing child waiting for a telling-off) and then waved a hand at the trees. “You know, I come out here a lot.”

“You do, huh?” A slightly teasing tone had entered Janus’ voice, and he was smirking despite still being red in the face. Some strands of his brown hair had fallen across his eyes, and he reached up to tuck them under his hat. “Never would have guessed, what with the way you were so tentative about bringing us out to this charming clearing.”

Roman allowed himself to pause, tilt his head, chuckle as natural a chuckle as he could manage, and then continued. “Yeah. It’s peaceful out here, y’know? Relaxing.”

He glanced back at Janus to see that he had stretched out with his back against the rock - like a snake, basking in the sun, waiting for its moment to strike. “It’s certainly very calm when I’m not puffing like a steam train…”

“It’s pretty private, too.” Roman moved closer to him and, ignoring every instinct that warned him that getting closer to a viper was a horrible idea, sat down to lean against the rock as well. “A good place to think, or spend some time alone, or…”

“Yeah?” There was a nervous, softly excited note in his companion’s voice now (how was Janus so good at controlling himself? It just wasn’t fair), and when Roman looked at him out of the corner of his eye he saw that the late-afternoon sunlight was turning Janus’ tanned skin golden. He should be framed and hung in an art gallery, he mused privately.

Or framed and hung for as punishment for his crimes.

“It’s a nice place to smoke a bit.”

Surprise flickered over Janus’ features - genuine surprise, cracking through the carefully built mask. “You smoke?”

“Ah! No,” Roman pulled the bag from his pocket and waved it, hurrying to clear up the misunderstanding. “It’s just weed. Not cigarettes. Those things kill. And smell gross.”

“Yeah. My dad smokes. It’s a disgusting habit…” Janus closed his eyes briefly, tilting his face to the sky. From where he was sitting, on Janus’ right, Roman couldn’t see the scarred side of his face. It was possible to believe that Janus had never gotten involved in the crash that had ignited his life as though it were a field of grass.

“Mine used to,” he agreed, hands already working to roll two joints into shape and pulling Remus’ keychain from his other pocket. He offered one to Janus, who raised an eyebrow slowly at him.

“Are you actively trying to kill me, Wang?” Roman blinked, and Janus waved an exasperated hand in the direction of his throat. “Given the smoke damage, I don’t plan on inhaling anything other than oxygen for a very long time.”

Roman blinked again. He hadn’t thought of that. His dumbfounded expression must show on his face, because Janus’ expression softened again. “Don’t worry. I had a feeling you’d be planning something like this, so I came prepared with my own refreshments.” He reached into his satchel and pulled out a metal flask that Roman hadn’t seen when he had grabbed the water bottle.

“A proper boy scout,” Roman commented, and they both chuckled, Janus out of amusement, Roman out of relief. If Janus was going to help, then getting him to talk was going to be even easier than he had expected. He returned both joints to the ziploc bag and stuffed it back into his pocket, but didn’t put the keys and their attached lighter away.

“Well, cheers.” Janus raised the flask to his lips and took a large gulp, then offered it to Roman, who accepted. The metal was cool, and he could feel rough lines on one side. Flipping it over, he saw that the shape of an octopus had been roughly scratched into the face of the otherwise smooth flask. He smiled absently at it. It reminded him of the doodles Remus had used to do, back when they were still a family, back when he was still friends with Virgil. Roman would find a piece of paper and use an orange felt-tip to draw a four-legged shape, and then scribble around its head in red in a rough approximation of a lion. Both his best friend and his brother would draw blobs with eight legs, one in green and one in purple. The green octopus would have curly legs, often spreading over the entire page and wrapping Roman’s lion in its grip; the spider would sit quietly on the edge of the page, and they’d look away, and when they looked back Virgil would have added half a dozen more. The three of them had gotten in so much trouble when their drawings had made their way first onto the floor and then the wall of the kitchen.

He seemed to remember that being his idea, but now that he thought about it, Roman was certain that Remus and Virgil had taken the brunt of the punishment for it.

Roman raised the flask to his mouth and swallowed as much as he could in one go, using the burn of whatever Janus had brought - was it tequila? He couldn’t tell - to jerk himself back to the present. Then he took another, because it didn’t taste bad.

That, of course, was when he regretted taking such a huge mouthful. Roman already knew he was a lightweight, and he needed his wits around him for what he was about to do. Janus smiled at him, took the flask back, and took another sip. “It’s bourbon,” he supplied.

“Whiskey? Isn’t that stuff expensive?”

“Came out of my parents’ liquor cabinet. They won’t notice it’s missing.” Janus shrugged and took another sip, then handed it back to Roman.

Which was good, because Roman wasn’t sure what to say to that.

They sat there in a sleepy sort of silence for a while, passing the flask between them. After his mistake with his first mouthful, Roman was careful not to drink any more, only tilting the thing until the whisky touched his lips and then lowering it again, pretending to swallow.

He wasn’t sure whether Janus was drinking any. It certainly looked as though he was, but Roman wasn’t sure if the flask was getting any lighter or not.

That would be amusing, wouldn’t it? Both of them sitting there, pretending to drink in the hopes of getting the other to get sloppy and reveal some secret or other.

Eventually, Roman came to the conclusion that he was going to have to say something. Otherwise, they would just sit here until it got dark, and then they’d go home, and the entire day would have been an unprecedented disaster. He cleared his throat, and Janus lowered the flask to look at him.

“I… Wanted to talk to you.” He started, and was surprised when his words were met with a broad smile.

“Me too. Do you mind if I go first?” Well, that wasn’t what Roman had expected at all. He shrugged, wiggled a hand in the air in a ‘go ahead’ motion, and then watched Janus take another gulp of whiskey. What was Janus about to say? Was he about to confess?

No, he wouldn’t be confessing. He was about to open with an easy request, for Roman to stop digging for the truth and to become his little puppet, and close with blackmail. Roman sat up a little straighter, the warmth in his stomach partially sunlight, partially alcohol, partially triumph.

“Roman, I…” Janus hesitated. Wow - he was putting a lot of unnecessary work into this. “I… It’s my fault, Princey. I blackmailed Remus until he believed the only way to free himself was to drive both of us to a fiery end. I don’t regret it. And now I’m going to blackmail you, because I still need a pawn in my evil plans for world domination. I don’t care if you never want to talk to me again - you’re my minion now.”

Only maybe that wasn’t what Janus had said. Maybe what Janus had actually said was, “I… I like you, Princey. A lot. I have for ages now, and I… Well, I was hoping that with us becoming friends, maybe you’d be open to… I don’t know, trying something. You - You don’t have to, of course. I won’t pressure you. And I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk to me ever again.”

Roman gaped at him, the words refusing to sink into his brain. “... What?” He was saying that a lot at the moment, it seemed.

Janus chuckled nervously and pressed the flask into his hand. “I have a crush on you, Roman. I’m asking if you want to try dating, or something.”

Roman looked down at the flask, wondering if he had somehow drunk enough to be hallucinating. Sure, a couple of weeks ago he had suspected that maybe Janus might like him, but he had ruled that out as an option. It was all just… Acting. Manipulation. Janus wasn’t being sincere.

“Roman? Ro? You okay?” A yellow hand was waving back and forth before his eyes, and Roman brought his focus back to the man sitting next to him. It was a trick, right? It had to be. Janus had been hurting Remus, he was using this as a way to get closer to Roman to hurt him as well. It was the only thing that made sense.

“I’d… I’d appreciate it if you said something now, Ro.”

Janus was playing with the cuffs of his gloves again. Roman just kept staring, waiting for the catch, for the trap to spring shut around his ankle.

“Anything. Yes. No. I hate you. I like you too. You disgust me. Anything, Ro, just stop staring at me like that.”

It was taking a considerable amount of effort to make words come out of his mouth, and Roman bought himself a few extra seconds by lifting the flask to his mouth and taking another mouthful. It burned on the way down - again - and helped bring him back to himself. Again.

Janus looked almost afraid now.

Janus looked almost afraid, and Roman didn’t like it.

“Is this… Is this a trick? Some sort of sick joke?”

Now Janus looked offended - no, he looked hurt, and that was worse. Taking the flask back from him, Janus shoved it into his bag and stood up. “I… Take it you don’t feel anything, after all. That’s… Alright. I won’t bother you again, Roman. It’s been nice knowing you.”

No - no, Roman couldn’t let him leave! He had to ask him - had to ask him - pushing himself to his feet, Roman grabbed at Janus’ sleeve, missed, and found that he was squeezing his hand. There was a vulnerable look on Janus’ face when he turned, so raw that something inside of Roman cracked painfully open, and the maggots within him writhed, although they were more sluggish than usual. Maybe that was the effect of the alcohol.

“Roman?” Janus asked, voice hopeful.

Roman spoke at the same time, the words tearing themselves from his chest in a torrent of anger and fear, blood and worms and guilt, vengeful wrath and desperate plea, alive. He just wanted Janus to stop lying, just wanted to stop feeling like the villain in this stupid, stupid tale, just wanted fix everything Janus had broken, that he had broken, and stop feeling bad about doing what needed to be done. “Why’re you hurting Remus?” He didn’t want the words to come out like that, faintly slurred and all at once, but he couldn’t stop now that he had started. “Why’s he scared’a you? Why’d you have to hurt him - what d’you want from us?!”

The apprehensive, excited look on Janus’ face slipped away, taking the world around them with it and smashing into fragments at their feet.

Taglist:

@bloodymari-0666

#roman sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #AcidentsHappenAU #alcohol use #fainting

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itslovelovelyme · 3 years

Text

It's gone. It's all gone. Almost 4 years of friendship, they're just gone like that. I never knew things could end so quickly? I thought I meant more, too.

I don't think I've ever felt this devastated? I never imagined something like this happening. This was my biggest fear, and it became true. I lost you. I lost you forever. I met you back in 2018, January. You commented on that Tumblr submission I sent to Sketch Girl. You complimented my art. I don't think I can put into words the immense amount of happiness I felt. I complimented your art, we followed each other.

Then we started messaging each other. I remember Tumblr wouldn't let you message me, and I remember how I giggled because I thought it was funny. Then our RPs started. Our daily conversations started. You became the first person on the Internet I called a friend, someone that cared about me, and showed genuine concern about my well-being. Talking to you was the highlight of my day, showing my parents the drawings you made for me was one of the best things. "Look what my friend made!! Isn't it amazing?!" I honestly can't help but to find cute how proud I was, hah. I admired you so much, you meant the whole world to me, you were my everything. I think we both can agree we were a bit cringe though, pfft. In a cute way, tho.

Then you also moved to Instagram. I was there, so seeing you there too made me happy! Having my friend in two social medias, "this is awesome!", and it truly was. I talked to you every day, I thought about you at all times. For personal reasons, you know 2018 wasn't the best year for me, but do you know what made it not so bad? You. You were in my life now, you cared about me, you were all I needed, and you really helped me.

There's not much to say about 2019, we were so happy, we were friends and SO close, what else could we have asked for? I wasn't into Creepypastas anymore, and you supported that decision. You supported my own original ideas and characters, you made me see that I actually had something to offer. I will never, ever, forget that. We knew we could count on each other, we knew we could trust one another to be there during our dark times. We knew we had someone we could rely on.

2020. Two years of friendship, haha. I will admit that during this year, you took me by surprise. April hit in. Who would've thought you'd confess your love for me? I wasn't looking for a relationship, but honestly, I loved you as much as you did, and with the same intensity, I'd like to think. I know I never formally said "yes, let's date!", it just kinda happened. I believe it was a bit awkward at first (or maybe it was the embarrassment, at least from my point of view), but honestly, we both know we've always acted like a couple, even in the beginning, even before catching feelings. It wasn't really that hard nor awkward for too long, at all. I quickly loved you even more than before, I loved you a little more with each day passing by. I loved you just so much. Ours was my first serious relationship. I felt so proud, I told all my friends about you, I told them how much you meant to me, I let them know how amazing my girlfriend was. And I let you know that, too. I let them know just how talented, smart, cute and beautiful you were. For once in my life, the so talked butterflies had gotten to me, I really felt like I was touching the sky. I loved knowing I had someone I could call mine, someone I could tell every day how much I loved them, just for them to reply with the same amount of love as I was giving. I will forever cherish this year the most.

Current time: 2021. I believe things started to fail in March. So very quickly towards the start of the year, yeah. Things got bumpy, but I wasn't gonna let that distance me from you, or at least I thought I could do that. I don't think I want to write about this year much, you know all the things we went through during this year (even if it's not over yet). We both know what problems we had, and that we tried our best to make things work. But we couldn't. *I* couldn't.

And I'm so sorry. I swear I'm serious when I say that I tried to hold just so tightly onto the thought of: "things soon will get better, yeah!". But it wasn't enough. I didn't want to let you go, I wasn't ready. But I knew things just weren't working out anymore.

September 5th. I never thought I'd be doing that. I never thought I'd be ending our relationship. You were the only person I could think of a future with. And even now, it still hurts. But I knew that if I didn't end things, then things on their own would have started to clearly fail. I wanted a peaceful breakup, and I actually got that. You understood where I was coming from, and we agreed that we'd continue on being friends. That a breakup wouldn't get in between all these years of friendship.

We were so wrong, weren't we?

I tried so hard to make things work, even if it was awkward at first. I never thought I'd be writing something so painful. I never thought my biggest fear would come true. I never thought I'd have to let you go. I feel sick while writing this. I felt sick the whole day, the whole week, heck, maybe even for months. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt yesterday.

"Maybe this should be it". I said that. I don't know how things got to this point, but don't you find it so odd, just how fast things change? Almost 4 years of friendship. They were all gone in a matter of moments.

And it hurts. It hurts so much. It really does. I tried my best, and I hate to know it just wasn't enough. I'm so fucking sorry, for everything. I hate this. I hate this just so much. September has never been my month, but I never saw this one coming. This was the hardest thing I had to face. But I just knew there wasn't a way out. Sooner or later, it would all have come down to this. I didn't want more damage done, we don't deserve that. Heck, we didn't deserve any of this in the first place. We fucking didn't.

But it happened. And now we're here. I can't grasp the fact that for the first time, you won't be there to wish me a happy birthday. That we won't see more texts from the other saying "good morning!!"; "goodnight!!". That we won't be part of each other's life anymore.

And I'm sorry for being repetitive, but it does hurt just so much. I couldn't nor can't stop my crying. And I don't think it will stop anytime soon, nor the pain. It wasn't a decision I wanted to make, but that I had to. We weren't going to get anywhere, and it fucking sucks to know that even if it's true. We just weren't getting along anymore, we didn't feel comfortable anymore. And it was progressive. Seeing how we slowly drifted apart was one of the hardest things I didn't want to accept. I refused to see the truth. But can you blame me, though?

I loved you. I love you. And I will NEVER forget you. There's just no way. No matter how many years will pass by, I won't forget you. You remember how you used to say that we were soulmates, destined to meet each other? I do believe that too. I just wish I had known sooner that while we were meant to meet, we weren't meant to last. I don't think anyone will nor is able to understand just how much you still mean to me. I never loved someone so much before.

And I have to thank you, for so many things. You were there for me when no one else was. You always supported me. You cared for me. You genuinely showed concern about me and my problems. And most importantly, you showed me I was worth being loved. You taught me how to love myself. You lent me your hand when no one else did. You loved me.

And I hope I did at least half of those things, too. Even if there's no comparison, I know I still tried. All the memories, smiles, laughs, feelings, I will never forget them. I will always thank this life for letting me meet you. And I will always thank you, too.

So thanks, Random. I hope you will remember me in the same way as I remember you. If you ever happen to read this, then just know that I wish you nothing but the best. Please take care, and goodbye.

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myforeverforlife · 4 years

Text

weight of the crown.

For @crossandchange! "Hidden Truths" Kyungsoo and 51. "I'm your husband, it's my job."

Pairing: Kyungsoo x Fem reader

Word Count: 3,803

Masterlist

Hidden Truths Masterlist: ( 1 ) ( Final )

You shuffled through the stack of papers in your hand, letting out a long, weary sigh. All day, your head had been throbbing with the pangs of a headache. The work wasn't foreign to you, not when you had been trained since childhood to become the leader of a nation. Ever since you came of age, you had been determined to help your father and take on your share of running Eunali. Content with your abilities and work over the past few years, your father finally announced that he would be stepping down from the throne — with you as his successor. It was an enormous honor and responsibility, all at the same time.

But you weren't alone.

Your wedding band twinkled up at you, so bright for such a delicate piece of jewelry. The gold band had a silver stripe running across the middle, the colors representing the union of two royal families. The kingdoms of Elyxia and Eunali shared decades of close friendship, a bond only strengthened with the marriage of the crown prince and princess.

Kyungsoo even gave up his own claim to his throne, much to everyone's surprise — including your own. Elyxia and Eunali were a day's travel apart, but it would be too hectic and confusing for the pair of you to rule over both kingdoms at once. You could already imagine the headache of relaying messages back and forth day after day. Seeing as Kyungsoo's father was healthy and still fit to rule for years to come, your husband made the decision to support you in your ascension to the throne.

A knock came at the door, two firm taps. You already knew who it was, a smile coming to your face. "Come in!"

The large wooden door swung open, your husband peering in curiously. "It's getting late," he said. Kyungsoo was still dressed in his clothing from the day, dark trousers coupled with a white button-up and a navy vest. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, exposing tan, sun-kissed skin. He walked over to where you were sitting at your desk, dropping a kiss to your forehead.

"You're going to miss supper if you hide in your office like this." Kyungsoo wrapped an arm around your shoulders, peeking at the papers in your hand.

"Is it really supper already?" You looked over to the windows, surprised to see that the sky was considerably darker than it had been before. "I didn't realize," you said with a sheepish smile, turning to your husband. "How was your day out in the countryside?"

"Beautiful," Kyungsoo said with a grin. He had spent the day with some royal officials, meeting with mayors of several villages further away from the capital. "I was glad to see that their crops weren't as badly affected by the drought as we thought. It felt wonderful to just take a walk through nature."

"I'm jealous," you said, standing up and wrapping your arms around his neck. "I spent all day inside. But I got a lot of work done... and then I get to sit through another day of meetings tomorrow." You grimaced, Kyungsoo chuckling at your expression.

"Are you sure this all needs to be done right away?" He picked up a paper from the top of the pile, squinting as he read. "This is for a year-end evaluation of the bridges and roads. That's months away, I'm sure you'll be fine if this isn't completed by tomorrow."

"Public transportation is very important," you countered. "What if I didn't know about an old, faulty bridge, and someone ended up falling into a river?"

Kyungsoo's eyes grew wider. "I think you might be worrying a bit too much."

"The sooner I get all of these completed, the sooner I can take a moment to relax."

"Or you could ask for more help? That's what I'm here for, along with Yixing and the rest of your advisors. You're going to work yourself sick if you try to run an entire country by yourself."

"It's my responsibility to take care of my people, our home. You do too much for me already, going out to meet others on my behalf. Yixing and the rest of my council already have enough on their hands. I don't want to give any of you even more to do."

"I'm your husband, it's my job. I want to help you, to do what I can so that you don't come to bed exhausted every night." Kyungsoo's hands came to rest at your waist, the warmth of his hands seeping through the fabric of your clothes.

Your heart swelled at his concern for you, his willingness to take on more than was even expected of him. But you still had a lot to prove, mostly to yourself. "You're much too sweet for my own good." Leaning forward, you placed a quick kiss on his nose. "But I can do this. I need to do this. Father has been ruling alone, ever since Mother passed. He’s done most of the work himself, and I can do the same."

"His Majesty also has his advisors," said Kyungsoo. "As do you. His Majesty let those close to him help with many of his tasks, Y/N."

"But he still had a hand in most of them," you countered. "Every single document, every request. He read every single one of them, put in all of his effort into doing what was best for the people. No one ever said that this would be easy, but I am determined to do all that I can to the best of my ability." You moved closer, resting your head against Kyungsoo's shoulder as you leaned against him. "I appreciate all of your help, Soo. But I want to do as much as I can on my own. If I need help, you will be the first person that I turn to."

You felt Kyungsoo's chest rise and fall as he let out a weary sigh. "I suppose I can't argue with the queen."

"I'm not queen yet. Not for a few months, anyways. How do you feel, prince consort?" You raised an eyebrow playfully.

A wistful smile appeared on your husband's face. "I can't wait to see Father and Mother again." It had been a while since either of you had seen the king and former queen of Elyxia — since your wedding, to be exact. Kyungsoo's parents had been drifting apart in their marriage, a secret divulged to you after you repaired your own relationship with Kyungsoo. After their separation had been made official, the former queen decided to spend her time using her talents and connections to help others in various lands. She was a busy woman, but she always made time for her one and only son. Despite distance and duties, Kyungsoo's parents made the efforts to keep in frequent communication. Without a doubt, you knew that both of them would be present for the coronation.

"They must miss you dearly. I believe your father's letters have been growing longer and longer," you said, unable to hide your amusement. "It's very touching, though — I suppose absence truly makes the heart grow fonder. We'll have to go and visit him as soon as we get the chance to."

"I'd love that." Kyungsoo pressed a kiss to your forehead, pulling back right away to stare at you in concern. "You're burning up. How have you been working all day?"

You pressed the back of your hand to your forehead, suddenly aware of the intense warmth there. "I've had a headache for a bit, but I thought it was just the events of the day catching up to me."

"I'll have them send supper to our room so you can rest as soon as you finish eating," Kyungsoo said, already fussing over you.

"Oh, my papers though," you protested, even as Kyungsoo began ushering you towards the door.

"It can wait until tomorrow," he said firmly. You could hear it in his voice — there was absolutely no room for debate on this.

You took a last glance at your desk as Kyungsoo pulled the door closed behind both of you. A knot of worry began to form in your stomach at the thought of all the work being left behind. However, you figured there was nothing a good night's rest couldn't fix. You were determined to jump back into work the next morning, no matter what.

In a cruel twist of events, you only felt worse the next day.

Your entire body felt too heavy to move and you were still afflicted by a headache, a constant haziness clouding your mind. But still, you had things to do.

Of course, your husband wouldn't hear of it.

"The sooner you recover, the sooner you can return to work." He sat beside you in bed, dressed in his clothes for the day while you were still in your nightgown.

"The needs of the people won't stop for me because I'm not feeling well," you fought back. "I was supposed to meet with the group organizing the construction of the new hospital."

"Yixing is more than capable of handling matters for today. They'll only be talking over details, no decisions will be made without you. I'll even be there to sit in on all of your meetings, and report everything back to you." Kyungsoo held your hand, his firm grip and solid reasoning alleviating some of your worries.

"But still," you began weakly. Unconsciously, you reached up to play with the charm of your necklace. It was a delicate, fragile piece of jewelry, but it had once belonged to your mother. The necklace never failed to help calm your nerves, the touch of cool silver familiar against your skin.

Kyungsoo scooted closer, letting go of your hand to push a strand of hair behind your ear. "I know how much this pains you to stay in bed all day. I can bring some of your things over for you to work on, but," he grew serious. "You still need to use this time for rest. The physician will be back in the afternoon, I'll be back by then."

"Has anyone told Father? He just got settled at the summer palace, I don't to worry him into making the journey back just to check on me."

"No one has told His Majesty yet. I thought you would object if we tried to send him a message."

You smiled in relief, eyes closing. The royal physician came by not even ten minutes ago, but you were already feeling the effects of the medicine she had given you. "Thank you, Soo. It's just a slight fever, after all. I'll be fine in a day or two."

Kyungsoo watched as you began to drift off to sleep, running his hands through your hair comfortingly. The corners of his lips lifted up when you began to snore lightly, mouth falling open as you breathed. It was the most peaceful he'd seen you in a while, possibly for the first time in months. He wasn't surprised that all of the late nights and busy days were finally catching up to you, but he wished he could do more to help. Although Kyungsoo was only prince consort, he knew enough about the duties and responsibilities expected of a ruler. He had once been a crown prince, after all.

Your husband was determined to take care of things while you recovered, to look after your subjects with just as much care and concern.

While you slept undisturbed in the quiet comfort of your bedchamber, Kyungsoo spent the day downstairs convening with your advisors. Meticulous notes were taken on every matter with the intention for you to look over them once you were better. Every report was summarized, every new proposal drafted up with a list of potential pros and cons — as well as additional background information. Work was almost as it usually was, large tasks made simpler thanks to the room full of officials. At this point, the only things left were a few more meetings to be held outside the castle.

"I didn't think we would be able to get so much completed," Yixing said in an aside to Kyungsoo. "Well, almost completed. The workload would be much less taxing on Her Highness if we had a system like this every day."

"I had the same thought." A series of scribbles appeared in the margins of Kyungsoo's paper as he ruminated. "I'll ask her about it tonight. I know she's always been adamant on doing things herself, but she'll end up collapsing from exhaustion at this rate."

Yixing nodded, resting his chin on top of his hands. "I suppose she believes it is a weakness to ask others for assistance, especially in a position like hers. But not even a regent can rule a kingdom entirely by themselves."

"Exactly," Kyungsoo mumbled. "While I hope Y/N won't work herself sick in the future, I have no doubt that this will happen again." As Kyungsoo remembered how you looked completely worn out, he suddenly thought of the times he had been ill and stuck in bed. There was one thing that always managed to make him feel better...

"Your Highness." An advisor came over from the other end of the room, a document in his hand. "There was a note made last week by Her Royal Highness to check on a series of business that were destroyed in a fire. Shall I send whoever is available?"

"No need." Kyungsoo stood up, pushing his seat back. "I shall go myself, I was about to head into town anyway. May I?" He gestured to the document, reading over it as the advisor handed it over. Perfect, Kyungsoo could finish up one of the last tasks for the day, all while preparing a special treat for you.

"Would you like me to come with you?" Yixing asked, about to get up from his chair.

"I appreciate it, but I'll be fine. But if my wife wakes up while I'm gone, please keep her company for me." Kyungsoo patted Yixing on the shoulder as he passed, heading off in search of his riding coat and hat.

All of the best goods from the market might be sold out by this point, but Kyungsoo was sure that he could still find ingredients hearty enough to boost your spirits.

You sat in bed, back propped up with a couple of pillows as Yixing relayed the events of the day to you. To your surprise, Kyungsoo and the rest of your council had done most of the tedious, busy work for you. While you read through all of the notes that had been written up, you were hit by an immense wave of relief. "You've practically done most of the work," you gasped.

"All that's left is for your final review and decisions," Yixing added. "Your husband fared much better than I thought he would. He certainly has the makings of a wise and efficient leader."

Filled with pride, you couldn't help the grin rising to your face. "I'm glad to hear that. I hope it wasn't too much for all of you."

"It was doable because we divided up all of the tasks," Yixing said with a raise of his eyebrow.

His hint didn't go over your head, the back of your neck heating up at his words. You gave a sigh of reluctance. "I know, Xing. To be honest, seeing everything that the council did today has taken quite the load off of my shoulders. Don't let him know I said that though."

Yixing brought a hand to his heart. "My loyalties are to the queen," he said with a wink.

Kyungsoo entered to the sight of you laughing at your friend's silliness, glad to see you looking much more energetic than in the morning. A guard held the door open for him, seeing as he was busy trying not to drop the tray in his hands. "How are you feeling?" he asked you.

"Much better. Perhaps all I needed was a good, long nap." You tried to get a better look at what Kyungsoo was holding, nose picking up a mouth-watering scent. "Did you bring food from the kitchens?"

"Soup, to help you recover. Careful," Kyungsoo warned. He placed the tray over your lap, trying to avoid any lumps in the thick blanket.

Your mouth fell open, stomach already growling at the mention of food. "This looks amazing — and it smells delicious too." You held your hand out to Kyungsoo, squeezing his in thanks.

Yixing got up from his seat with a smile, straightening his jacket. "I'll take this as my cue to leave. Enjoy your meal." With a parting bow, he soon left to give the two of you some privacy. Kyungsoo took Yixing's empty chair, settling down into it as the door clicked shut.

"I've never seen this soup before," you mused, stirring your spoon around in the broth. Pieces of chicken and various seasonal vegetables floated around in the soup, only adding to its appeal. "Is this a new recipe?"

"It's something Mother used to have the cooks make when I sick as a child. If this doesn't lift your spirits right away, I don't know what else will."

You inhaled deeply, lifting a spoonful to your mouth. "I think it's working already." After a few breaths to cool down the piping hot broth, you finally got a taste. As soon as the flavors hit your tongue, your eyes grew larger with excitement. "Soo," you said, raising a hand to cover your mouth as you chewed. "This is heavenly, I can't believe this."

Kyungsoo chuckled softly, tickled by your reaction. "Eat up. You need all of your strength."

You heeded his advice, digging into the soup with fervor. "I'm going have to give the kitchen staff my compliments in person."

Your husband looked away, avoiding your gaze as he fiddled with his fingers. "Ah, well... I made it."

The spoon in your hand almost fell into the bowl, slipping the slightest bit. "You made this? Soo, this is one of the most delicious meals I've ever had."

"Now you're overreacting," he said, shaking his head with a grin.

"It's true! I would offer you some, but I don't want to get you sick. Did you save some for yourself?"

"I told the kitchen staff that they were free to help themselves to the rest. I tasted a bit as I went along, but I don't think it's worth the praise you've given me."

You set your spoon down with a clatter, metal bumping against porcelain. "Soo, I can assure you that you deserve all of the praise for this — and more. You are a man of many hidden talents, it seems." Upon remembering the heavy responsibility he had taken on while you were sick, your voice softened. "Thank you for all that you did today. Yixing told me that you led the council, and he showed me all of the work that was done."

Kyungsoo scooted closer, arms coming up to rest on top of your blanket. "It was nothing, I did it so that you wouldn't have to worry."

"It means everything to me," you replied. "I know that I was being stubborn about doing things myself, but it was because I never wanted to be a bother to anyone. You and Yixing helped me to see how much more efficient it is to have all of the council working together — and much less stressful for me," you added with an embarrassed laugh.

"Does this mean you'll let us help you?" Kyungsoo asked.

"Yes, and I will be extremely grateful for everyone's assistance — especially yours, my hardworking husband." On instinct, you leaned forward to kiss him, barely managing to remember that you were ill. You moved back in a flash, slightly disrupting the tray on your lap. "I'll be so happy when I'm all better," you grumbled.

Hiding a grin, Kyungsoo lifted your hand to his lips, kissing the back of it gently. "Don't rush yourself. It's good to take things slow, to take a break for yourself once in a while."

"Ah, speaking of breaks. I was thinking that we could take a day off to go visit Father at the summer palace. We could get our fill of fresh air, and check in on him. It'll be a very small vacation."

"A much deserved vacation," Kyungsoo added. "I think it's a great idea."

You beamed, smiling from ear to ear. "I can't wait! I haven't been this relaxed in a long time, what with plans for the coronation and all. Only a few more months, and then it will all be settled."

"You'll be Queen Y/N then. Are you nervous?"

"A bit. I keep seeing the coronation as the final stretch, the last big event before I get to live peacefully for the rest of our lives. But I know that's far from true." Glancing down at your joined hands, you bit down pensively on your bottom lip. "I don't like to think of the crown as a burden, but sometimes it does feel stifling. I've only gotten used to the full responsibility this year, and I'm always terrified that I'll be faced with something that I can't solve."

Both of you sat in the silence that followed, Kyungsoo thinking over your words. "I've heard it said that the best way to learn is through experience. Our fathers were born into greatness, but they also have decades of growth and mistakes that helped to shape their reigns. They also had trusted people who stood by them, even during their darkest times." Kyungsoo's hand tightened reassuringly around your own. "I may only be prince consort, but I will do everything in my power to help you keep our kingdom safe. I will never turn my back on Eunali or you, my queen."

You were deeply touched by his earnestness, eyes glimmering with moisture. For once, you were the one at a loss for words.

Kyungsoo reached up with his free hand, cupping your cheek and running his thumb over the skin there. Immediately, you leaned into his touch, eyes closing. There was no need to speak, not when both of you could feel the love in every touch, every glance.

The weight of the crown was a heaviness not many could withstand, but you were lucky to have Kyungsoo to share it with. It was your birthright, a promise bestowed upon you from infancy. Despite your many worries, you would never abandon your destiny.

And so began a new chapter in your life, the fairytale only continuing to unfold.

A/N: it’s been so long since I wrote for this universe! it only made sense to me to skip forward a few later, as y/n and kyungsoo are getting ready for the coronation. the hardest part was figuring out how married would work if they were both heirs in their kingdoms (do they just rule over both, but travel back and forth?? I regretted making their kingdoms far apart in the original fics lol) but since y/n’s father was sick in “hidden truths”, I figured it made more sense to have them rule in eunali with soo giving up his claim to his own throne. I had to go back and reread the original fics a few times to realy get into the feel of writing from their perspectives after so long (as expected, y/n is just as stubborn as she was before 😂)

Hidden Truths Masterlist: ( 1 ) ( Final )

#exo #kyungsoo #kyungsoo scenario #kyungsoo fanfic #exo scenario #exo fanfic #writings

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minghaocouture · 4 years

Text

Fearless: Chapter 7

Pairing: Werewolf!Jeon Wonwoo x Vampire!Reader Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Non-Idol Au Warnings: Language, Mentions of violence WC: 3.6k AU Lore: Vampire Coven Info/Wolf Pack Info/Lore Info Tag List: @moon-asia

A/N: Thank you guys so much for being patient with this chapter being release. I want to say I do no condone what happened and I wish PLEDIS would make some kind of statement despite how much time has passed. Despite this, I do want to be able to finish this story so I can properly move on in the timeline. I do really enjoy this chapter and it does have one of my favorite moments between Wonwoo and the reader that i’ve written so far.

Chapter List: Chapter 1/Chapter 2/Chapter 3/Chapter 4/Chapter 5/Chapter 6/Chapter 7/Chapter 8/Chapter 9/Chapter 10/Chapter 11/Chapter 12/Chapter 13/Chapter 14

“So...the body was a woman’s? Then it was probably who Minah saw.”

You didn’t know why you had agreed to meet back up in the woods, but apparently making stupid decisions was just a part of your life now. Wonwoo nodded in agreement, watching as you paced.

“Then it has to be a stray. I talked to Minghao about it and he said it definitely wasn’t any of us. Everyone has been accounted for recently...well except for me? But he knows where I am so he knows it isn’t me.”

You were probably rambling, but you were concerned. If there was a stray out there then that meant a lot of people were in danger, not just humans. Sure humans fed you better, but there was nothing stopping you from feeding on wolves or even Fae, it just didn’t taste as good.

“Well, we can always try and lure them out?” Wonwoo suggested, placing a hand on your shoulder to halt your pacing. The contact was immediately comforting, which you didn’t want to admit. You were still confused and conflicted about being on friendly terms with a wolf, so it was still something you were working on.

“Are you saying to use Minah as bait?”

“I mean, if we had both your Coven and my pack on our side then she’d be-”

A little harsher than you had intended, you shoved his hand away. “But that’s the thing. We don’t have either of them on our side, hell I’m still surprised that the both of us aren’t in big shit with the people who do know!” You retorted, placing a hand on your hip as you stared him down.

“It’s not like I can just walk up to my Venture and be all. ‘Oh hey Soonie, yeah I’ve been fraternizing with a werewolf for the past three days! But please forgive my treason because we just misunderstood them’!”

“Four days if you count the day you attacked me.” Wonwoo interrupted pointing at the scar that was still on his nose. You cast a small almost offended look towards him, hand drifting to gently rub your right arm. It was still a bit hurt but because of how Vampires healed, you didn’t need to keep it bandaged

“To be fair, I’m the one that got hurt worse out of the two of us. You know how hard it is to leave a scar on a Vampire? And you somehow did it without even trying.” It was meant to be a small joke, considering that the two of you had basically buried the hatchet at this point in favor of stopping the feud between your groups.

Despite the joking tone of your voice, you noticed the guilt that filled his eyes. Just like the night of the fight. You felt your chest tighten a bit. You didn’t know why but, you didn’t like that he was upset. Sure the two of you weren’t trying to kill each other anymore but you weren’t close either. This was a business friendship and nothing more. Once again rolling your eyes, you pulled your arm out of the sleeve of your jacket.

“Don’t make that face, it’s fine see? We’re past it, and I’m not planning on attacking you again anytime soon...because I would definitely kick your ass if I did.” He didn’t laugh, which was pretty annoying to you. You were getting ready to comment on the fact that you were hilarious and he was being a stick in the mud, when he took a few steps towards you. His eyes were glued to the newly scars on your arm. A hand reaching out to gently graze the marred skin. Wonwoo was amazed at how fast such a deep wound had healed, must have been one of the perks of being a Vampire.

His hand was warm, almost too warm, especially compared to your usually cold skin. You noticed that you didn’t seem to hate the feeling, letting him trace the outline of the claw marks with his thumb. It was an oddly sensitive moment, and just a few days ago if a wolf had touched you like this you would have flipped out. Yet here you are now, letting him do as he pleased and you still weren’t sure why. He just had this kind of...aura that was pulling you in, and it was getting harder to stay angry or standoffish when you were around him.

“Sorry about that. I really was just trying to push you away without hurting you.” He confessed, even back then he had been trying to protect you for whatever reason. Just like when he lied to his pack. Your mouth opened, ready to question his actions. Only for the moment to be ruined by the sound of crunching snow.

“Wonwoo! [Y/N]!” At the sound of the younger wolf’s voice, you quickly stepped away from Wonwoo (missing the feeling of his hand on your skin) and pulled your jacket back on. Vernon barreled into the moonlit clearing and stopped right next to the two of you, panting heavily as this was pretty far away from their cabin.

“What?” Wonwoo immediately turned his attention towards Vernon, seeming almost irritated at the interruption. Vernon straightened himself, looking quite upset.

“It’s Sana. She was attacked on the way home from work tonight!” Time seemed to stop. You knew that the stray could possibly attack the wolf pack directly but you hadn’t been expecting it. It seems you underestimated this stray. “And Seungcheol, he obviously thinks it’s your Coven. He’s pissed.”

Irritated you let out a rather long string of quiet curses, pacing around the small clearing angrily. All soft feelings from before were gone. The two males looked on in confusion, shocked that you had let out such an outburst. Especially when previously you hadn’t cared at all if a wolf had gotten hurt.

“Fine. We’ll ask Minah to be our bait and we are catching this bastard to clear my Coven’s name. I’m going to talk to her and Minghao tonight and if she agrees we’re doing this shit tomorrow. If she doesn’t agree then we will figure something out, I don’t care if Soonyoung finds out. We are getting rid of this stray.”

Wonwoo sighed, grabbing your shoulders to stop you from continuing your irritated march. His hand gently slid down your shoulders to rest on your biceps. He gave them a soft squeeze, attempting to comfort you. He regretted that a bit when he notice you wince slightly as he squeezed your previously injured arm.

“Hey, we need you calm okay? You go back and talk to Minghao and Minah, figure something out.” He began. Just from his touch you felt your temper turn from boiling rage to a smaller simmer. It was strange what he could do to you. “I’m...going to come out to my Pack tonight. I’ll explain our plan to our Alpha and hopefully it will calm him down. We’ll message each other so we know what’s going on.”

You knew this plan was risky, everything right now was. So you didn’t try to fight him on his decision, he was a big boy and knew what he was doing. Hopefully. Nodding in agreement, you grabbed his wrists and moved his hands away from you while putting a bit more distance between the two of you. Despite this, you didn’t let go of his hands.

“Just...be careful. Okay? If I don’t hear from you in like an hour I’m breaking into the cabin to make sure you didn’t die or something.” You declared, not really realizing that you had gently begun to rub circles on the insides of his wrists as you held them. This time, the male laughed. Which brought a smile to your face as you listened to the soothing bass tones of his voice. It was as oddly comforting as his hands had been.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep. I know you can’t enter private homes without permission.” He retorted. Earning a small smack from you after you let go of his hands.

“I take it back, I might be fighting you again soon. Keep your eyes peeled wolf boy.” With that final verbal jab, you turned from him and said a quick goodbye to Vernon before once again running off into the night.

“Wow...you’re both super whipped. That was kinda gross to watch.” Vernon declared once you were out of earshot. If Wonwoo was being completely honest, he had almost completely forgotten that Vernon was there.

He was probably never going to live this down. So he decided to ignore Vernon’s comment, turning to make his way back to the Cabin. Light tingles of anxiety filling his gut with every step he took.

“Come on, we need to get back to the house.” He wanted to at least offer Vernon an out. This wasn’t going to be an easy conversation, especially with Sana being attacked tonight.

***

You rushed through the back door of the bar, ignoring the blaring music beyond the inner doors as you swung yourself onto the stairs, taking them two at a time. Turning onto the stairs quietly, as to not draw suspicion and went to the last room on the left of the hallway. It was a bit smaller than the other rooms but had a small bed in it, and quite a few still packed boxes. Which was kind of sad considering the Coven moved here about 4 years ago.

Inside, Minghao sat on the small twin sized bed completely alone. Minah nowhere in sight. As you entered, he glanced over at you and raised an eyebrow.

“Done with your wolf boy for the night?”

“Where is Minah?” You questioned, taking a few steps towards him. Worry crept into your veins. If something had happened to Minah already, then your whole plan would fall apart. Minghao, swung his legs off the bed and walked over towards you.

“She’s downstairs with Jun in the bar. We figured she would feel more comfortable if she were around people. It’d be pretty awkward if she had just been locked in this room with me.” He had a fair point, but he didn’t have to say it as if you were a moron. Though, to be fair, with all of the decisions you’ve made in the past few days...you being a moron wasn’t too far from the truth.

“What did your wolf say?”

“The body they found was a woman’s, and one of their pack got attacked tonight. Have you heard of anyone getting into it with a wolf tonight?” Minghao shook his head, obviously having heard nothing. And with the fight you had gotten into, there is no way anyone was going to keep that hidden. They had seen what kind of trouble you had gotten into, or at least you hoped no one was that stupid.

“We, well I think it’s a stray. You know the one we’ve been seeing around town?” Minghao nodded, he hadn’t caused any trouble with the coven directly so you had been kind of leaving him alone. In hindsight, that had probably been a bad idea. Hence why you hadn’t mentioned that to Wonwoo. Shaking off the mild guilt at keeping that information hidden, you continue.

“Wonwoo and I have a plan but it isn’t great. We were going to use Minah as bait. Lure him out and kill him if we can. We just need to get the okay from Minah.” That wasn’t something that the two of you had really agreed upon, but if he could get his Pack on your side, then you figured that none of them would have any issues with killing a Vampire.

The air was thick with tension. Minghao must have been irritated by what you had learned, but he kept an extraordinary good poker face. He let out a small sigh before pulling out his phone, who he was messaging you had no clue. When his attention returned to you, his poker face had fallen which left him with a rather irritated expression.

“I told Jun to send her back up here. I’ll help you as long as Jun and Soonyoung agree with this plan.” You weren’t too surprised by his actions. Minghao had admitted that he wanted the war to end, and he had been irritated that he wasn’t allowed to take out that Stray. He thought letting him stay in your territory had been a stupid decision, but because the Primus and Venture had agreed then there was nothing he could do to go against it.

Sighing, you took a seat on the bed that Minghao had previously been on. Exhaustion was finally kicking in, you were running on maybe three hours of sleep? Frankly at this point you just wanted a nap. Minghao didn’t say anything if he noticed your mood. In fact he stayed silent until Minah entered the room, followed by...Jun.

Your chest felt like it was about to cave in when you saw Jun. You had managed to avoid him when you had dropped Minah off. He stood near the door, giving you and Minghao a rather expectant look. This only caused Minghao to sigh in irritation.

“Jun, they’re going to need you at the bar. So you better head back down, this is going to take a while.” In his defense, Minghao did try to get Jun to leave. It was just such a poor attempt that it might as well have not mattered.

“They’ll be fine. Honestly I trust Snow Angel more than I trust any of you alone at the bar.” You raised a brow at his words, looking up at him from your seat on the bed. He must be talking about the Winter Court girl, though she looks like she’d kick his ass before letting him call her Snow Angel. She definitely had more of an Ice Queen vibe.

“Besides, you two and Hyunjin have been hiding something. Minghao I know you’re part of the Inner Circle but that doesn’t mean you can keep information from the coven, especially if it’s dangerous enough that we have to house a human who needs protection.” To be fair, Jun was right. Minghao may have been in the Inner Circle but Junhui and Soonyoung were the Primus and Venture. Which made them higher ranked than Minghao and Chan, the other Inner Circle members. At this point it definitely hit you how much Minghao had stuck his neck out for you. Gave you a new found sense of gratitude for the male. You’d have to apologize to him later, since you had given him such a hard time before.

Minghao huffed lightly, running a hand through his black hair out of frustration. He flashed you a look and gave a nod, basically giving you permission to talk freely in front of Jun. You would have anyway but it was nice that he was letting it happen and wouldn’t get mad about it. You would still keep some details to yourself though. Standing, to give yourself more of a presence you began.

“So Junhui, long story short. You know that Stray we’ve been seeing? Well he’s been dumping human corpses into the forest. Last night, Minah saw a Stray while he was feeding last night, so she’s in danger because he saw her and might come after her next. Sooo the plan is we are going to lure the Stray out by using Minah as bait and then we kill him. Problem solved.” Omitting everything about the wolves, sure there were some plot holes in it but with luck he wouldn’t question it.

“How do you know about the bodies in the forest?” Apparently, Lady Luck decided to give a special ‘fuck you’ to you today. Of course he would ask about that, couldn’t just ignore it and ask later. Oh well, you weren’t some flower that was scared of what would happen. Okay that was a lie, you were scared shitless about what Junhui would say, Despite this, you were going to own it...this time.

“I’ve been meeting with one of the wolves from the pack in the forest. He told me about it, said they thought it was us and would have continued to think that if I hadn’t told him it wasn’t.” Minah let out a small gasp, realizing that the two men you had been with must have been the wolves you were talking about. You kept your eyes locked on Junhui’s and standing your ground. This was grounds for expulsion from the Coven, and your enforcer had allowed it to happen, so you weren’t expecting a happy reaction.

Surprisingly, instead of flying off the handle like you had expected. He just sighed and rubbed his temples. Raising a brow, you glanced over at Minghao who also seemed a bit surprised at the lack of a total freak out.

“How can you be sure he wasn’t lying? Why and how did you even start talking to one of those Mutts anyway?”

“He’s not a mutt.” The words escaped your lips before you even realized it. Hearing Jun talk about Wonwoo like that, well it pissed you off. It hadn’t been long since you, yourself had referred to Wonwoo as a Mutt. But that was wrong, and now you knew that. It wasn’t some magical change of heart or anything like that. Meeting Wonwoo, and later Vernon, it just kind of hit you that they were just people. They weren’t like the wolves who had killed you, in the same way that your Coven wasn’t like that Stray. They had morals too, and seemed to stand by them just as fiercely as your Coven did.

Jun seemed taken back by your words, confused at the sudden difference of opinion. He advanced towards you, a solemn frown on his face.

“[Y/N], I know you’re not a complete idiot. We’ve known each other for almost a century now. You can’t be stupid enough to care about a wolf of all things? Especially after..” He didn’t seem angry with you, he seemed concerned. As if he were the much smarter parent who was just concerned about his rebellious daughter. Unfortunately, this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The insults coupled with your lack of sleep had your fist clenched by your sides as you advanced towards Junhui and cutting him off before he could continue.

“You know what, I’m getting pretty sick of you guys saying I’m stupid. Yeah I don’t always follow orders and it gets me into shit sometimes, and I’m reckless but that doesn’t mean I’m stupid Wen Junhui.” You didn’t yell, not now, but your voice carried a sharper tone to it than it usually would when speaking to Junhui. “I would assume that knowing me for almost a century, as you put it, you would have started to trust my decisions more. If you really think I’m that stupid then just kick me out of the Coven, why don’t you? I mean why not, if i’m stupid enough to get tricked by some damn wolf then i’m obviously not worth the Coven’s time.”

He didn’t seem to have a response to that, as he stayed silent. You turned your attention to Minah, who seemed fairly overwhelmed with the conversation she had just witnessed. At that moment though, you didn’t really care.

“Minah you don’t have to do this, but if you do I swear nothing will happen to you. This is the only way we can think of to lure him out.” You tried your best to calm your temper, you didn’t need to scare off the human. She was obviously already scared enough, being trapped here with Vampires while hiding from a Vampire. It was a rough situation for someone who had just found out that supernatural creatures were real. She hesitated, stumbling over her words.

Taking a deep breath, you reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. Even attempting to push a smile onto your face. “We are trying for tomorrow night. So get some rest for now. You already have my phone number so just message me with your decision okay?”

She seemed pretty relieved about this and nodded. Removing your hand, you turned to face Junhui, who wasn’t looking at you at all. You had been planning on saying one final thing, full of spite and frustration, but doing so felt wrong. Despite being irritated Junhui was still your family, for now at least. It was up to Junhui and Soonyoung to decide if that wasn’t the case anymore. In fact Junhui would probably report back to Soonyoung tonight. You couldn’t stop guilt from creeping into your system, thinking about how Minghao was most likely also going to get in trouble for your actions. So instead of speaking you just left, walking out of the room and back down the stairs.

As you exited through the back door, you thought back on what Junhui had said. You felt the phantom beatings of a heart in your chest, the pounding as you really contemplated things. It was strange to stay but you did in fact care about Wonwoo. Despite whatever he thought of you, like if this was just a friendship until everything had been solved, you did truly care about what happened to him. Not that you were going to admit that to him, ever. You’d be stupid if you did.

With a groan, you made your way out towards the forest again. Messaging Wonwoo and asking him to meet back up with you once he was done with his pack. This was going to be a long night.

#Caratwritersclub #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt x reader #svt imagines #svt scenarios #Wonwoo x reader #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo scenarios #jeon wonwoo x reader #jeon wonwoo imagines #jeon wonwoo scenarios #seventeen werewolf au #werewolf seventeen au #svt werewolf au #werewolf svt au

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ughseoks · 4 years

Text

maybe we’re soulmates | pjm

— pairing; jimin x reader

— genre; soulmate!au (kind of?), fluff w/ a dash of angst

— word count; 2.5k

— warnings; slight angst for plot (miscommunication bc jimin doesn’t know how to handle his feelings oop), tooth rotting fluff

— summary; you and your best friend, park jimin, have a late night talk about what soulmates are and if they’re real.

—masterlist —

“Jiminie?” you whispered into the darkness of the room, the soft pillow rustling beneath your cheek as you turned to look at your best friend.

“Hmm?” he mumbled back, exhaling softly before shifting to meet your gaze, “What’s up, _____?”

“Do you— do you believe in soulmates?” your voice was gentle as you spoke, the moonlight from the window dancing across his honeyed skin and sparkling in his deep brown eyes. Untamed locks of his platinum blonde hair stuck out every which way, framing his face as he turned away to stare back up at the ceiling.

“I’ve never really thought about it. Do you?” his voice was as smooth as honey, practically dripping as it floated melodically through the silent night air.

“I love the idea of it, but it’s probably too good to be true,” you sighed, fiddling with a loose string on the blanket that was keeping you warm, “Sometimes, though, when I’m up really late and lost in thought, I daydream about what it would be like to have a real soulmate. Somebody who you’re meant to be with, ya know? Somebody who— who will always be by your side, no matter what happens. Somebody who will love you unconditionally,” you paused for a moment, casting your gaze downwards, “But it always leaves me sad when I come back down and face reality, because I know that the likelihood of that happening is nearly impossible. A part of me loves the idea of them, but another part of me believes that it’s too good to really be true.”

Jimin laid silently for a while, so silent that you wondered if he’d fallen asleep. The minutes dragged on, and you began to drift off unintentionally, your mind floating calmly in the limbo between consciousness and the dream world.

“I don’t think it is.” Your lashes fluttered open as his voice woke you back up, a small smile gracing his features.

“Why not?” you asked sleepily, turning to lay on your side so you could fully face him.

“I mean, everything you said describes our friendship, doesn’t it?” he shrugged, “Maybe we’re soulmates. After all, I don’t think that soulmates are reserved only for romantic relationships. I think that your best friends can be your soulmates too.”

“Oh,” you exclaimed softly, unable to contain the smile that bloomed on your face, “Yeah, maybe we are.”

Jimin gave you a lopsided grin as he reached up and ruffled your hair, a giggle escaping your lips as you squirmed around.

“Jiminie, I don’t want my hair to be messy like yours!” you laughed, swatting his hand away playfully before he could tangle your hair any further.

He simply laughed in response, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before you could push him away. “Goodnight, soulmate.”

“Jiminie!” you yelled as you crashed into your best friend from behind, pressing your face into his back. His chest shook with laughter underneath your tight embrace.

“Hey there, _____,” he covered your hands with his own, squeezing them softly as you breathed in his scent, “Excite to see me?”

“Shut up, I missed you more than usual today,” you mumbled into his back, pulling away after a final squeeze to his torso, “Wanna grab some ice cream?”

“Is that even a question?”

You were talkative the whole way there, demanding that Jimin tell you all about his first day as a trainee. However, the second that the two of you sat down with your ice cream, you became unusually quiet, picking at the dessert with your spoon awkwardly.

“What’s wrong, _____?” he asked softly, giving you a worried look as you cast your gaze downward.

“I’ve just been thinking.”

“Thinking about what?”

“What do you think—” you paused for a moment, tucking a stray hair behind your ear, “What do you think happens when you lose your soulmate?”

“Well, that wasn’t exactly the question I was expecting,” he half-laughed, cutting himself off when he noticed the seriousness on your face, “Why, are you worried that you’re gonna lose me?”

You nodded.

“Is this about what happened yesterday?”

You nodded again, unable to meet his concerned gaze. Obviously, you were ecstatic that Jimin’s idol career had taken off. He and his members had worked so, so hard for so long, and they were beginning to get every bit of recognition that they deserved. But with that fame came forth individuals with less than pure intentions for your best friend and the rest of the members. Somehow, one of the fans— if they could even be called that— had managed to get Jimin’s phone number, calling him again and again until he managed to change it. Although no explicit threats had been made towards him, the lack of security and privacy concerned you.

A lump formed in his throat as he reached over and took a hold of your hands, pulling them towards the center of the table and giving them a reassuring squeeze. “I promise that you won’t ever lose me. The boys and I all know what we signed up for, and even though it can be scary, BigHit has plenty of security measures in place to keep us safe. What happened was freaky, yes, but I wasn’t in any danger. I know you worry about me a lot, but trust me, _____, nothing bad is going to happen to me.”

“Promise?” you looked up at him with tears in your eyes, a single drop leaving a wet trail down your cheek.

“I promise.”

Jimin never broke his promise about being hurt, but there’s more than one way to lose a soulmate.

And it was even more painful than you ever could’ve imagined.

Loud laughter traveled through the thin wall between your apartment and the one next door, once again distracting you as you attempted to study for your upcoming test. Groaning, you shoved your head into your hands, just about ready to give up on everything. You reached out for your phone to text Jimin about how annoyed you were, only to stop yourself mid-reach. A wave of sorrow hit you like a slap to the face, settling deep in your gut before slowly bubbling over into anger as it rose into your chest.

About a month ago, Jimin had just…. shut you off. He’d begun to hang out with Hannah (who, conveniently, was your neighbor) instead of you, inviting her to the things the two of you used to do together. Every time you ran into him by chance, he was nearly the same as he was before he cut you off, but you could tell that he didn’t have that unique spark in his eye. Instead he looked…. sad, almost. You had no idea why he’d decided to drop you out of nowhere, but all you could do was try to keep on living without your soulmate by your side as best as you could.

Clenching your fists, you shoved your chair backwards and stomped out of your apartment, knocking on your neighbor’s door hard and fast.

“_____?” Jimin’s face fell as he took in your angry expression, your shoulders tensing up when you saw Hannah standing in the living room over his shoulder, “W-what’re you doing here?”

“I’m trying to study for a test I have tomorrow, do you think you two could quiet down a bit?” you said as calmly as you could, trying to keep your face neutral. Tears were already pushing at the back of your eyes, threatening to fall at any moment at the sight of your best friend with someone else. Before Jimin could respond, you stated a quick “Thanks” and turned to go back inside your apartment, leaving him standing speechless in Hannah’s doorway.

A few minutes later, your phone dinged, a message from Jimin showing up on your home screen.

[Jiminie, 9:08pm]: hey, can we talk?

[You, 9:15pm]: why

[Jiminie, 9:15pm]: i can tell that something’s up and i want you to talk to me

[Jiminie, 9:16pm]: i feel like you never do anymore

[You, 9:18pm]: there isn’t anything for us to talk about. you made it this way, not me

[Jiminie, 9:18pm]: please, _____, just meet me at our spot in five

[Jiminie, 9:27pm]: _____?

[You, 9:29pm]: fine

You threw your phone onto your bed as the tears began to slip down your face and onto your notebook. The writing bled where the salty drops soaked into the soft pages, words and numbers mushing together into an inky mess.

When you heaved open the heavy metal door, you saw Jimin sitting on the edge of the familiar rooftop, his legs dangling over the ledge as his platinum waves blew in the wind. Taking a deep breath, you took a few steps forwards, calling out to him once he was within speaking distance.

“Can you come over here? You know I’ve always hated when you sat on the ledge like that.” Jimin used to laugh when you told him that, but not this time. This time, he turned to you with tears streaming down his face, not even trying to wipe them away as he swung his legs back onto the rooftop before walking forwards. Stopping when he was only a few inches away from you, he stared down into your eyes as if he was trying to read what was going on inside of your head.

“What’s up, _____?” his voice broke as he asked the familiar question; the same one he always asked when he was concerned about you, but didn’t want to sound forceful.

“I think you already know, Jiminie,” you cast your gaze towards your feet, scared that if you looked into his eyes your heart might shatter into a million little fragments.

“But the thing is, I don’t, _____,” he pleaded, “I don’t know what’s up with you and I don’t know why you pulled away from me—”

“I pulled away from you? Really?” your head jerked up and you took a step backwards in shock, unable to believe what you were hearing, “If anybody pulled away, it was you, Jimin.”

“What do you mean?” He gulped, already knowing what you were talking about but too scared to admit it out loud.

“Ever since you met Hannah, it’s like-- it’s like I’m not even important to you anymore! You do everything with her. Everything. And you know what? I let it slide! I acted like everything was fine, until I heard you talking about her at practice the other day when I was bringing everyone lunch. The door to the room was cracked open, and I know it was wrong, but I heard you Jimin. I heard you.”

“_____, I don’t know what you’re talking about—”

“You said she was your soulmate, Jimin!” you screamed, bringing your hands up to hold your head as the tears began to stream down your face, “You were talking to the members and you said ‘She’s my soulmate.’ And I know that you sure as hell weren’t talking about me, because if you were, you wouldn’t have kicked me out of your life a month ago.”

“_____, I—”

“No, just— just save it,” you snapped, your voice softening to a barely audible whisper when you spoke your next words, “That was our thing, Jiminie. You promised me I’d never lose you, my soulmate, yet here we are.”

Jimin looked desperate, the pain showing in his eyes as tears formed wet tracks down his cheeks. “I never meant to hurt you, _____.”

“Then why?” you croaked, the pain almost too much to bear, “Why did you abandon me for her? I- I love you, Jiminie. I love you so, so much, and in more than a ‘just friends’ way. I love you so much it hurts, and I could handle it before, I can’t when you won’t even talk to me anymore. You love her, not me.”

“But I don’t, _____!” he pleaded, taking a step closer to you and placing his hands on your shoulders, “I don’t love her, don’t you see that? It was never her, _____. It was you. It’s always been you. And I wasn’t talking about Hannah the other day. I was talking about you. I know that we say we’re soulmates all the time, but that time I— I meant it in a different way than before.”

“W-what?” it felt like your breath had been stolen from your lungs, “I don’t understand. If you love me, why have you ignored me this past month?”

“Because I’m an idiot, _____,” he shook his head, guilt and regret pooling deep in his stomach, “I- I never thought that you would like me back, so I decided that distancing myself from you would save us both from that pain. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

The silence following his confession weighed down on you like a blanket, tension thick in the air before you finally broke the spell.

“You really are an idiot, aren’t you,” you shook your head in disbelief, “But you aren’t the only idiot. We’ve both been kinda stupid about this.”

“But mostly me,” he interjected, taking another step closer to you, his socked toes bumping into yours.

“Yeah, mostly you,” you smirked and stretched up to press a kiss to his lips, butterflies filling your stomach as your lips moved against each other. You ran your hands up his shoulders and rested them on the sides of his face while his rested on your hips, holding you close to him.

“Yeah, mostly you,” you smirked and stretched up to press a kiss to his lips. Butterflies exploded in your stomach when his hands made their way to your hips, tugging you closer to him. Your hands slid up his shoulders to rest around his neck; his lips were soft as they moved against your own, the kiss innocent and sweet.

Nothing had ever felt so right.

When you finally pulled away, his grin was the biggest you’d ever seen it, eyes squished up into half moons as a result. “This doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, Park,” you warned, squishing his cheek cutely before taking a few steps backwards, “I still need to study for my test tomorrow. Let’s talk more in the morning, okay?”

“O-okay,” he stuttered with a blush on his cheeks, watching as you opened the door to go back down to your apartment. Once the door clicked shut behind you, he uttered the same words that he’d whispered on the night he realized just how in love with you he was.

“Goodnight, soulmate.”

— a/n; thank u for reading! i hope u enjoyed this. i honestly don’t really like the way it ended (i got really impatient i’m sorry) but i love the beginning. like, a lot. so please excuse the shitty rushed writing & plot near the end and savor the beauty of best friend!jimin sharing a bed with u and talking about soulmates!

i know i said that i’d post a spidergukk fic today but uh. i kinda wanted to do this instead. so i did. anyways it’ll get here eventually soooo stay on ya toes

— masterlist —

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