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#It could also be a fun slice-of-life thing?
miller-n-morgan · 5 hours
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And I Feel Fine (.ii)
Joel Miller x Jackson!Reader
18+, mdni
Summary: A new journey lies ahead, and on the very first night you become sure of something that will completely change the trajectory of your entire future.
Warnings: leaving most of the warnings the same because they apply. mentions of death, violence, gore, blood, mentions of sex abuse and trafficking. Mentions of teenage pregnancy. Mention of drugs and substances. Again, literally has ✨️the works.✨️
Word Count: 7k (i'm going absolutely wild)
Now we're cookin'.... enjoy this slice of my brain that I spent entirely too long on. And also know that the first part of the Arthur Morgan series will probably drop this week.
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“I ain’t shittin’ you.” You were fine to leave it at that, but he sure as hell wasn’t. For a guy that hated long conversations, he seemed to like poking around in your business.  “And what makes you think that?”  You honestly didn’t want to tell him. He’s not Tommy, he might make fun of you, might store away the information later on and use it against you. You have no idea, actually. You don’t know him. 
Your contact had gotten you to an apartment. It was worn down, just as every other place in the QZ seemed to be, but it was better taken care of. The people living here must have been attentive about the appearance of their home. A good enough family to leave your baby with. 
She stopped you in the hallway, knocking three times on the old wood door, hearing a lively voice from the otherside before it opened. The woman standing there was lovely, about thirty or so, a half smile on her face when she saw you both had arrived. This plan had been in the works for some time now. 
“Hello, I’m Maxine Williams,” she greeted, reaching for your hand to shake. You did your best to match her kind and infectious energy, giving her a smile in return. She is after all going to be doing you the favor of a lifetime. 
“It’s nice to meet you,” you replied, keeping your head low between your shoulders, though you felt comfortable in her presence. 
She leaned into your contact, turning her head, but you heard the whisper “She’s so young…” 
“S’why she needs help.” 
You understood that this didn’t look right. You should not be pregnant at your tender age, should not have been put in this position. You’ve seen more horrific things than any person ever should, and it all started when you were eight… outbreak day. 
“Of course… come in, both of you.”
The pleasantries went on for a while, exchanging information of where you came from, why you were in this area, what you did before being in Boston. She mentioned her husband, her two sons and their love for older things, wishing for the world the way it was. It was all just small talk, leading up to the actual conversation topic: the baby she was about to take off your hands. 
“You’ll stay with us until the birth, if that’s okay,” she offered, but it sounded more like a demand. It wasn’t a harsh or cruel one. Even if you slept on the rickety couch you were lounging upon now, it would be better than camping in the woods, sleeping on the hard ground like you’d been doing only a month ago. 
“I’ll do whatever you want me to.”
Your contact was happy to see both ends so receptive. She’d never seen a deal containing human life go down this smoothly. Probably because this was a bit more sensitive of an exchange. 
“Good… that’s good. I’ve heard you’re interested in a closed adoption?” 
You glanced down at your stomach, feeling the weight of it, crushing inwards on the rest of your body. Having this baby and giving it away will relieve the weight both physically and metaphorically. They’ll be in good hands, better than your own could ever be. 
“I think it’s probably best. I used to have siblings, but I never really took care of them… I’m not sure I could do this,” You shook your head. You saw her younger son peeking his head out of the bedroom door in the corner, backing away as soon as you caught him. Even in an apocalypse, a child can be happy… just not with you. “I want to give them their best chance.”
“I understand…  and we’re going to do our best to make sure they have a normal childhood,” she responded, leaning forward and placing a comforting hand on your knee. 
“Thank you…”
You had sat down on one of the containment units, feeling as though the adrenaline rush from the ambush was beginning to wear off. Tommy found Maria not far away from where you were sitting, and began to ask his special favor. It was crazy, he knew it, you knew it… but it had to be done. This girl was somehow important, to the fireflies and to all of mankind, and you were starting to wonder why. Joel hadn’t said a word, sitting across from you and awaiting the news that would surely come from his brother’s discussion with his wife. 
“So, you’ve been traveling with Ellie?” 
He looked up at you from his boot laces, his eyes were heavy, and he didn’t seem in the mood to talk. He was grumpy in nature, but you could tell there was more underneath the tough exterior.
“I have.” And no further explanation was given. 
You didn’t think it was best to keep trying your luck, keep on asking him questions. He wasn’t the talking type and you figured you’d be wasting your time… but speak of the devil, Ellie came up to him just as the conversation between Tommy and Maria was getting heated. 
“What’s that all about?” She nodded in their direction. She looked scared, like a deer caught in headlights, just not as frozen. Wide eyed and unable to look away from the scene. “Does that have anything to do with me?” 
She was smart, she’d pick up on the words they were saying - more like yelling - to each other. The context clues were there, Joel would have to be an idiot to think she’d just let him off the hook. 
“We’ll talk about it later…” he grumbled, his annoyance already at a high from your unimportant questions and the fighting in the background. 
“Did he tell you where the lab is?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowing as she got even closer to hear them. 
The lab? Is that where the fireflies would be? You vaguely remember the days you spent with the resistance group, but you don’t remember anything about a lab…
“We’ll talk about it later,” he repeated himself, almost as a warning. 
She turned to Tommy and Maria, then back to Joel, her face one of distrust and sadness. She knew, she could tell. Joel was trying to get rid of her. 
You wanted to say something, to jump in and tell her that she didn’t need to be scared, didn’t need to be worried about where she was going. That you would go with her and it would be okay… but that wouldn’t help a damn thing. Even if you turn out to be her biological mother, you are most definitely not her mom, and cannot console her as one.
“Later… right,” she trailed, backing away from Joel and off to another sectional of the checkpoint. 
Joel looked back to you, your eyes already on him. 
He sighed, at first not saying a word… but when he made a full rotation of his eyeline and you were still staring holes into him, he had to speak up. 
“If you’re lookin’ to judge me, then just-.” 
“I’m not.” 
Your interruption cut him off, and he didn’t really know what else to say. He nodded, not looking away from you, but rather trying to figure out what it is you needed from him. Your stare was not discomforting but it felt demanding. It wanted something.
“How long have you known her?” You finally spit out, tucking a leg under your elbow as you sat back. You knew you’d gotten his attention, now. 
“Few months, now. I’m supposed to take her to the fireflies as a favor to someone.” 
“What do the fireflies want with a fourteen year old kid?” 
He sighed, raising his shoulders in a shrug like he didn’t know. He must’ve been lying, right? You’d gotten pretty good at reading people, but for some reason you couldn’t tell with him. Maybe you just didn’t know him well enough… 
“M’not really sure. All I knew in the beginning was that I could get paid pretty well, so I took her.”
You nodded. He didn’t seem like the person that did things for the sake of them, Tommy had told you stories about him, the things he used to do. If it was for his survival, he’d do it… but just for the sake of getting paid? When barely anything left had real monetary value? It sounded like bullshit. 
“She seems to trust you an awful lot,” you gestured between him and the empty space she’d left. 
There was another beat of silence, to which he didn’t use for reply. Instead he sat, his back curled over and his shoulders sunken inwards. He was tired, he was worn. He needed to rest, but this life wouldn’t let him.
“She knows you’re handing her off…”
“I reckon she does, yeah.” 
And right over your shoulder you heard the climax of Tommy and Maria’s argument. She held a pointed finger in his face, before he finally insisted on Joel’s plan. She couldn’t move him. He was going to do this whether she liked it or not… which is something you haven’t seen out of Tommy for years. Joel must mean a hell of a lot to him, to up and leave Maria on a dangerous errand like this. 
You stay seated when Maria walks over to Joel, and then when Joel stands up to talk to Tommy. You stay seated and think… I can keep Tommy safe. I’ve got nothing to lose, and everything to gain from learning about this girl. I can bring him home to Maria, even if it means my life. 
But you immediately stand when you hear Tommy’s rapid speech. “That girl of yours. she took one of our horses and rode off,” and then he glanced at you with an eyeroll. “She took provoker…”
You huffed a sigh, following the men over to the front of the sectional, the open trail up ahead. Maria was mad at Tommy, so obviously she wouldn’t be accompanying them… and that left you. Casper didn’t like men. 
“Damnit, which way?” Joel asked, his steps were heavy on the muddy ground. 
“I just saw her riding out of here!” Terry yelled, loosening the reins on two more horses he’d brought over for assistance. 
“Alright, get back inside, help the others clean the place up,” Tommy told the man, nodding for you to mount the back of his horse after he’d climbed up himself. You chanced a look at Joel, riding across from you both. His face was mixed with anger and determination, and it reminded you of what Tommy looked like after hours of hunting. They were the epitome of brothers, though you’d never met the other half before. 
You all followed the tracks, leading every which way it seemed. Some of the tracks were fresh, and some were older, but it was hard to tell when the grounds here were moist all the time, never really drying up and creating lasting prints on the dirt. 
After a while of riding, and running into some raiders - who were easily fended off - you saw your horse standing in front of an old farmhouse, the reins tied to a pole holding up the roof of the porch. You jumped from Tommy’s mare and ran up to Casper, petting his mane and making sure he was alright. There didn’t seem to be a scratch on him. 
You watched Joel enter the house, waiting back with Tommy. Even though Joel was the one she ran away from, you couldn’t imagine she’d be thrilled to see you or Tommy instead. Joel had a good reason to do what he did. He didn’t feel strong enough or fast enough for this job anymore. He didn’t feel like he could keep her safe. You unfortunately understood that feeling a little too well, and if you were correct on your suspicions, it would have been with the exact same kid. 
Tommy unstrapped his gun from his back, holding it steady and watching the surroundings whilst he leaned against the porch beam you were standing by. He was trying to gage whether or not your horse was calm enough for him to approach you closer, knowing what would happen if he wasn’t. 
“I think you’re right, you know…” He trailed, his voice quiet on the off chance of an open window. 
“You do?” 
You turned to him, you didn’t exactly have to think twice about what he meant. 
“Yeah,” he nodded, a chuckle falling from his lips. “It makes sense… the timing n’ everything. She looks a hell of a lot like you… and she’s caused about as much trouble today as the first time I met you.”
“Causing trouble is genetic?” You laughed, your eyes watering a bit at the implications he made. She might be yours. Your daughter, who you didn’t think you’d see again. 
“Hell, it might be. Your kinda trouble, anyway… stealin’ horses and shit.”
The nod of your head was slow, the thought of this all sinking in. It made perfect sense and yet coming to terms with the facts of ‘it is’ instead of ‘it could be’ makes you feel light headed.
You didn’t know if he was being serious or if he was just trying to make you feel better, but the look on his face told you the former. He wouldn’t just lie to you, he knew you could read him. 
“I keep turning it over in my head, tryin’ to think of ways I could prove it to myself… I think just seein’ her was enough for me. I’m remembering things I thought I forgot about a long time ago.”
Now it was his turn to nod, but your moment was caught short when you heard a branch snap around the corner. You instinctively pulled your gun from your pants, holding it out in the direction the snap came from. Tommy raised his rifle, doing the same and gesturing for you to go inside. You both made it in the doorway before the threat made itself known. Two guys, coming around the corner. They hadn’t realized you were watching them yet, but they did a quick scan, making sure there wasn’t any immediate danger. 
“Get upstairs,” he said in a whisper, but you snapped your head to face him. 
“No way, the odds are even if I stay,” you argued, but he wasn’t exactly in the mood for a fight right now. It was too risky to have you both down here. 
“Go tell Joel to get his ass down here, you stay up with the kid.” 
“Like hell I’m going up there. Your brother scares me,” you say in a half joking mumble, keeping watch on the two strangers that were now surrounding your horse. They were about to get kicked in the ass if they didn’t step away. 
Tommy realizes that them being distracted gives a good amount of time to leave without cover. 
“Alright, but you first,” he shrugged a shoulder towards the staircase, and with one last glance to your horse, you left your corner by the window. 
You quickly ran up the stairs, ducking a head in a few rooms before finding the one Joel and Ellie were in. 
“Get it together, we’re not alone,” Tommy said as soon as you got inside the door.
“I got two walking in,” Joel leaned towards the sliding window to get some eyes on the situation. 
“There’s more inside already…”
 You backed against the door, Tommy against the dresser on the opposite side. Joel stepped over in front of you, and Ellie behind Tommy. You didn’t realize until now, but taking a glance at Ellie, she looked even worse than when she left. Her face was sullen and her head was dropped. She didn’t seem to be snapping into reality, even with the weight of the situation. 
You stayed by her throughout the house, when Tommy and Joel started shooting, you stood in front of her, covering them from back behind. It was weird, these maternal feelings that had never sparked within you before, only now arising for this specific human that had no clue who you were. 
Once outside, it seemed strange. The dynamic between the four of you was so incredibly awkward. Everyone was thinking on a different topic, and the silence could echo on for miles. You nodded for Ellie to mount the back of your horse, since she didn’t seem comfortable to ride with Joel for the time being. She climbed up behind you and for a second you smiled, because this is your daughter, you know it… but soon after, your mind quickly succumbed to the general silence.
The nature and scenery surrounding you seemed to be duller than before, the pretty autumnal colors becoming ugly in the sense that you didn’t appreciate them right now. You loved the beginning of fall, but the feelings spread among you are tense and terrible, worse than raking up the fallen leaves before winter. 
The feeling never leaves, it stays until you all reach the edge of the town. 
-
“I’m not hungry,” you swore, shoving the extra plate of food away from your placemat.
Manxine’s husband was hungry, and you’d noticed him and his wife being decent enough to give you some of their food the past few days. It wasn’t necessary, because you weren’t working, and you weren’t barely helping them. They were helping you, and you couldn’t be more grateful. Taking extra food that wasn’t just lying around felt like stealing. You’d never been a stranger to it before, but these people were far too kind, too gentle. They made you feel like maybe the world wasn’t completely at its end. It still turned, and people were still good, despite everything. 
“Yes you are, and you should be,” Maxine pushed the plate back in front of you. Her goal had been to ‘put a little meat on your bones’ as long as you were under her roof. 
“I’m fine, I promise.”
“Promise or no promise, you need to eat more. You’re still too thin to try and survive childbirth, ya hear?” She put the old fork back into your open hand, and you sighed. It was sometimes hard to eat more than you normally did, on the account of your body not being used to it. If you ate more than usual would it make you sick? If you threw up the extra rations they were spotting you, you’d feel terrible, but she kept insisting. 
You opened your mouth to take a bite, swallowing it down and feeling the slight discomfort start to settle. Already you’d been eating a lot more than before the QZ, and you didn’t realize how slowly your appetite would have to grow. 
After a few more bites you had to drop the fork to your plate, feeling too full already to keep on. You felt terrible, refusing extra portions that were meant to keep you healthy. Whether or not it was caused by the pregnancy hormones, or just your own emotional breakdown, you weren’t sure… but you started tearing up while sitting at the table. 
“I’m sorry,” you shook your head, covering your mouth and sitting back while the tears rolled down. 
“Don’t you apologize, sweetheart,” Maxine uttered softly, her presence at your side immediately. 
To her, none of this effort was wasted, or overdone. She and her husband, though some of the better off people in the QZ by job merritt, couldn’t seem to have another baby. It wasn’t for the lack of trying, or stress that they couldn’t afford it. It was simply the fact that after six years from their last child, they couldn’t conceive another. This baby, your baby, was going to be a gift to them. They were happy to take any necessary steps into getting you to childbirth. 
“I just can’t eat anymore,” you tried to justify your emotions, but now it only looked like an overreaction. People are dying without food, and here you are, crying about there being too much. 
“It’s alright. Leftovers don’t go to waste in this house,” she spoke, a bit of a chuckle in her tone, which alleviated some of the pressure you felt. 
“Okay,” you nodded, letting her take your plate to the other room, likely where her husband had retired to. 
The campfire was crackling, the smoke filling the hazy navy color of the dark sky. Trees had covered it mostly, but there were a few stars peaking here and there. You’d just finished a can of chicken soup, tossing it on the pile that had been started by the others. It was crazy, how you suddenly remembered so much, just by eating food out of a can again. Days on the run, with the fireflies, being a raider even… it all came back. 
It had only been a few hours or so since leaving Jackson, but after the fiasco of today, the three of you had gotten extremely tired a lot earlier than you should have. 
The three of you meaning: Yourself, Joel and Ellie. 
After the silence of the horse ride back to the commune, something had changed. Joel realized not only what Ellie meant to him, but what he means to Ellie. He’d decided Tommy was no longer required, and that he could fare the journey on his own. Of course, you immediately volunteered an extra pair of hands and a quick gun as assistance. To your surprise, it was Ellie who was your greatest advocate. Her, and the fact that you remembered the lab’s location, could probably get her there on your own if you had to. 
The mirror building… you don’t remember it being a lab, but as soon as Tommy said the words it jogged your memory.
Now you were here, sitting with your back against a log, and staring holes into the shoulder of a fourteen year old girl. 
“Whatch’u lookin’ at?” Joel asked, his arms crossed over his chest as he lazily reclined against a tree. 
You only looked away for a second, too fixated on what was just barely peeking over the collar of Ellie’s shirt and jacket. It had fallen down a bit when she laid down to sleep.
“Nothin’,” you shrugged it off. He was a man of few words, surely he’d drop it on account of having to speak more if he didn’t… but God help him, he’s like a damn cat, his curiosity could kill him. 
“You’re very focused on nothin’,” he teased. There was something off about you with Ellie, he’d taken notice of it. He didn’t know what it was about but it didn’t seem like a danger.
You rolled your eyes over to him, but could tell by his glance back that he wouldn’t quit. He’d already volunteered to take the first watch, and he had nothing else better to do. 
“It’s a long story, you’d get bored.”
But again, he had nothing better to do. 
“Try me,” he raised his shoulders in a shrug of his own. He seemed much more docile of a creature in this setting. The early hours of night, so quiet, and dimly lit. His voice was gentle and his features were soft. He was relaxed.
You took a deep inhale, trying to brace yourself for whatever came of this. He was a fresh face, someone new to explain an old wound to. The scar had finally healed and you were about to dig a blade back through and rip it open… but you suppose you’d sharpened the knife by coming along in the first place. 
“I think Ellie’s my daughter,” you breathed out, not checking for a reaction until he’d been silent too long. His eyes were narrow, and he tilted his head, looking between you two. She was fast asleep by now, but he had a picture of her in his head, comparing it to you. 
“You’re shittin’ me, right?” 
You blew out another long breath, shaking your head and rolling your eyes. He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t know this feeling you have or the fact that you’ve never felt it before. He doesn’t understand that you’d come to peace with the fact that you’d never see her again, and then she appeared like a ghost from your past. You thought she was your past self at first, taunting you, making fun of who you were now. 
“I ain’t shittin’ you.”
You were fine to leave it at that, but he sure as hell wasn’t. For a guy that hated long conversations, he seemed to like poking around in your business. 
“And what makes you think that?” 
You honestly didn’t want to tell him. He’s not Tommy, he might make fun of you, might store away the information later on and use it against you. You have no idea, actually. You don’t know him. 
You let your eyes flick up to the stars, hoping by some miracle they will fall from the heavens in the form of angels to give you a message, that message being: shut the fuck up and don’t spill your guts to a man you met this morning. 
“When I was thirteen, I was by myself. I fell into a weird group of people that could probably be considered a cult. There was this one guy that treated me better than the others…” you trailed off, not sure if you’re ready to rehash all of this. But it’s been a long time since you talked about it. You need to get it off your chest if you’re to somehow make a relationship with the product of your past. “He was in his twenties, so a lot younger than most people in the group. Pretty sure I was the youngest. I didn’t realize he was using me.”
Joel was tense, but not because he was uncomfortable… he was genuinely invested. Wanted to know this story and how it connected with Ellie. His Ellie.
“We left the group, and I found out I was pregnant a few months later. I’d barely had my cycle a fucking year… wasn’t even sure what it meant when I didn’t get it. Anyways,” you had to stifle a laugh, because just looking back… what the actual hell? You kept blinking to make sure no tears escaped in front of this man. You weren’t there yet with him. “I think he just lost all interest in me after that. He didn’t really speak to me unless it was necessary, and wouldn't look at me. Stuff like that.”
But that wasn’t the worst part, and Joel knew you were working your way up to it. 
“Before I was pregnant I used to sneak into places most people couldn’t. I was real skinny like that. Was able to smuggle stuff in and out of different QZs across the country. We peddled rare narcotics for the most part… but I had to stop when I, you know…” you made a round hand motion around your stomach, hoping he got the jist. “I didn’t fit in the smaller spaces.”
“What kind of narcotics?” Joel finally asked a question, and it wasn’t really the one you were hoping for… but you understood he’d probably fallen into the same scheme over the years. 
“Vicodin, mostly. Up in Princeton there was this one apartment… we’d searched it top to bottom because of how many secret hiding places there were. Vicodin everywhere. Whoever lived there was either severely addicted or preparing for the worst.”
“Maybe both.”
Yeah, probably. Damn shame he never got to use them.
“We used it as a trading token most of the time. It was actually what got us into Boston,” you waved off your tangent eventually, getting back to the story and where Ellie came in. “Pretty much gave the rest of our stash to a contact we had there… she got us a family we could hand the baby off to.” 
And now he got it. You’d been knocked up by a predator, and said predator wanted you to give up the baby so he could go about using you some more. He’d seen and done some cruel things in a post apocalyptic world, but he would never stoop that low, and grimaced at anyone who possibly could.
“I had her when I was fourteen. Lookin’ at her today was like looking in a mirror,” you rambled on, still not quite to your point. “She’s the right age, from the right location… and that birthmark on her shoulder…”
He hadn’t even noticed it all this time. Months with the kid, and he thought nothing of it. But to you, it was clarification. It was the confirming piece of evidence that pulled it all together. You’d barely taken your eyes off of it since you saw it. You wanted to make sure you weren’t seeing things. Wanted to make sure it was the right shape and placement, just so you could be sure. 
He nodded, seemingly coming to this conclusion now, too. It didn’t take him any more convincing. It was clear by now that your hunch was not just a hunch. 
“Her dad, he still… around?” 
You shook your head with a light hearted laugh. 
“No,” and you could have left it with that simple answer… but that was never much your style. “I shot him in the head.”
His low whistle cut the air, and you almost felt proud. You’d killed the one thing in life that ever hurt you directly. 
“He deserved worse.” 
“Yeah, he did.”
And then it was quiet for a minute, all the words the two of you had spoken up until now were rotating over and around in your heads to make sense of them, until he spoke up again. 
“I’m sorry,” he nearly whispered. 
“S’okay. Not your fault…” you shook it off. It’s in the past, it’s done. 
“Not yours either,” he replied, raising a brow to you. “M’just, sorry you went through that.”
He was soft, he was gentle. You supposed he was like Tommy. He didn’t judge you or make you feel inferior because of your tragic mishappenings. He just listened, and felt sympathy.
“I don’t mind it so much now… I got her back.”
And both your gazes shifted to the sleeping teenager, her breaths steady with the humming of the night around you. She has no clue, and for now you’ll have to keep it that way. 
Yeah, you think… I got her back.
-
It only took two weeks. Riding, eating, sleeping, and talking, rinse and repeat. There was the odd occasion of dealing with infected, but they were never in large groups, and cleared out easily. 
You remembered exactly where to go when you entered the city limits, guiding them towards the college campus you once lived in as a firefly. It was almost ten years ago, but you remember it pretty well. It’s where you met Tommy. Not in the lab, obviously. You’d both been put on security detail one morning, having never met beforehand. He proceeded to ‘teach you’ how to shoot a rifle properly, only to find you could hit a perfect bullseye on your first shot. Probably because your dad was a man who loved his guns, and you’d been shooting one since you were a kid before the outbreak. He laughed about it, and you two were friends ever since. 
“Are you getting any of this?” Ellie asked you, pulling you from your thoughts as you rode alongside them. 
For the last hour, Joel was attempting - and failing - to explain the rules of football to the young Miss Ellie. And she didn’t understand one lick of it, not that you blame her. You’d been to actual football games in your youth, but you couldn’t get it even then. 
“Nope, I was always more of a baseball fan…” you trailed, and smiled at the thought. Baseball was fun, you remember it well. It was your biggest obsession right before ballet, and right after fingerpainting. 
“Oh really, now?” Joel cut in, his surprise evident in his raised eyebrow and tilted gaze in your direction. 
“Yep. You’re looking at the MVP of the Acorn’s jr. little league team.” 
Ellie laughed. She didn’t know a thing about baseball either. She’d seen some old collectors cards though here and there. Apparently they used to be valuable. They were only knick knacks to anyone who saw them now. 
“What position did you play?” 
“Shortstop… or second base, technically. No shortstop in jr. little league,” you admitted. Your dad always called you shortstop, so that’s what you tell people now. Anyone who asks, at least. You can count on one hand the number of people who have. 
“Seein’ you around infected… I bet you swung like hell,” he chuckled. Ellie was still confused about the rules of the last sport, much less how to play this one… but she listened intently because Joel was interested, so she was interested too.
“I always got on base, didn’t always stay there, but always got on. Plus, I was the only kid who never picked their nose at the plate, so… Obviously I earned my title.”
“That must’ve been an amazing accomplishment. How old were you?” 
From what he understood, you’d been eight on outbreak day. You couldn’t have been too much younger to have started a sport, right?
“Probably six or seven at the time. I did ballet after, had kind of a short attention span when it came to after school activities,” you explained, a smile on your cheeks when you spoke about the things you used to love doing. You probably would still like doing some of them, had they been an option in Jackson.
“I know about ballet!” Ellie jumped in, nearly scaring Joel off the horse. “That’s the dancers that used to wear those weird shoes and shit.”
“Pointe shoes?” You chuckled, more at Joel trying to compose himself than Ellie’s funny recollection of footwear. 
“Yeah, those. They looked like torture devices in some of the paintings I saw… did you ever wear any?” 
“No, I would have had to train for about five more years to have gotten to that point. That was the dream at the time, to be a pointe ballerina. Of course, the end of the world happened…”
Joel turned to you from his forwards facing stare, a sadness in his eyes before he looked back onto the road ahead of him. Was that… pity? You were slowly learning to read him, his little mannerisms and tells that made him like everyone else, yet just a tad different, in a way that only he could be. 
“Maybe after all this is over you can teach me some steps,” she suggested, but you scoffed. 
“Maybe,” you shook your head at how funny the thought sounded in your head. You’d only danced for what? Ten months at most? And as an eight year old? “I think you’ll probably be too busy with Joel’s guitar lessons.”
She laughed it off, shaking her head and leaning it back onto Joel’s shoulder in front of her. The three of you kept along until reaching the building you remembered, but instantly it was a disappointment. The fireflies weren’t here, and likely hadn’t been for over a year. 
“This isn’t right. There should be a checkpoint set up and a security blockade surrounding the place,” you mentioned, getting off your horse and running up to the door in the front. You peeked inside, and there was no sign of life anywhere. 
“You’re kidding,” Ellie grumbled. 
Joel dismounted the horse and followed after you, looking around and trying to find any signs that they might have been here at all. 
“You sure this is the right place?” 
“Positive. I remember this building, I met Tommy right over there,” you pointed down the sidewalk, where a half torn down barricade of cement was still sitting, but just barely. You walked to the corner of the crumbling stairs and grabbed a piece of old broken up brick, chucking it through the front door in order to unlock it.
Joel chuckled for a moment at your frustration, watching the scene play out. 
“Baseball… right,” he teased, leading the way inside with you and Ellie in tow. 
-
Maxine’s boys were at Fedra school. Her husband was at work in a different sector. Maxine herself was trading ration cards for supplies. It was the first time she’d left the apartment since you’d been there, and of all days, of all mornings for it to happen… your water broke.
You were alone, and scared. You weren’t allowed to leave the apartment for fear of the neighbor’s suspicion. Maxine’s family would be torn apart by Fedra if anyone found out what was going on, so no matter how terrified you were, you couldn’t risk going outside for help.
“Not now,” you cried, the tension in the pit of your stomach slowly turning to pain when your first contraction started. “Please, kid, I’m begging.”
You suck down against the wall of the living room, trying to find a sitting position that doesn't kill you from the pain. You wished more than anything you had some of those pain pills left over from the exchange, but they would probably only hurt you right now. 
“Please, don’t,” you tried to even your breathing, the tears crawling down your cheeks at a fastening rate. “I can’t do this…” 
The walls were closing in, you weren’t prepared for this. It didn’t seem to be the right time, either… but it was happening, and there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop it. The baby was coming, and if you wanted to live to see another day, you were going to have to get your head straight, and push it out of you. 
You didn’t know how long you’d have, but from the time your water broke to the last contraction, things were moving relatively quickly. You were still on the ground against the wall, biting down on the sleeve of your shirt to try and not make noise. 
You hoped and prayed that you would not deliver this baby on your own, but it looked like that was your only option right now. They had all left around an hour ago, they would be gone all day. 
“I don’t know what to do, kid… help me out here,” you cried out again, but the baby didn’t exactly listen. You felt more weight bearing down on your lower half by the minute, and all you could do was panic.
It had happened so fast, the attack. Too fast, nothing you guys could have prepared for. It was all within minutes, and the ringing in your ears following your last gunshot seemed to put everything in slow motion. The way Ellie was yelling but you couldn’t hear it, the man that was coming up from behind you, and the one that was wrestling with Joel near the edge of the rail. 
Too fast, the man on your rear grabbed at you and pulled backwards, keeping you from being able to stop Joel’s attacker… You got trapped in a headlock, a gun to your temple, and another man was about to get Ellie. Joel and his attacker broke through the railing, tumbling over the edge and falling into God knows what. You sunk deadweight in the man’s arms, letting Ellie shoot him with her raised gun before you shot the man coming for her. 
She ran to the edge first, freezing as she looked down. You followed and peered over, unsure what you would see. 
“Shit,” you lowered yourself to a sitting position before scooting off the edge and dropping down to where he was. Your voice was in a panic “Joel?” 
He was alive, but fatally injured if you didn’t get him out of here right now. 
“I’m gonna need you to pull,” he managed to get out through gritted teeth. His face was scrunched in pain, and you knew better than anyone how hard it was to stay quiet when you’re hurting that bad. 
“You could bleed out,” you shook your head, kneeling down and flinging off your backpack. Digging through, you only have the most basic of supplies… nothing substantial enough to stop mass amounts of blood, or, worst case scenario, a deadly infection. 
“Just pull, damnit,” he grunted, offering his hand. 
By now Ellie had come down, watching in fear as the only figure of importance in her life was nearly on his deathbed. It couldn’t be exaggerated because it really was that bad. He could drop down at any moment and never get back up, but he kept pushing on. 
You did as he asked, hoisting him to a stand, letting him lean on you for support. Ellie went on ahead, leading the way as she cleared the place with her own gun. You had to assist here and there, unwilling to let Ellie get shot on account of holding Joel up on his feet. 
It was practically a miracle that any of you made it outside. Your horse had already taken care of a raider, it seemed, the man lying unconscious on the ground behind him. He likely got to close, touched him, even. Ellie shot the last obstacle standing between you and an escape, and once he was cleared, you mounted your horses, helping Joel onto his, first. 
You rode in front of them, looking for a place to take shelter. Looking for an empty house, or gas station even. Anything would work, as long as it was safer than here. You rode for miles down the road, unsure if there were people in the area. You’d finally reached a neighborhood of substantial size, with no signs of life or proof of human activity. 
But before you could even find a safe shelter…
“Joel? Joel!” 
And you quickly turned around. Joel fell off the horse, out like a light.
-
Tags: @orcasoul
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msfcatlover · 1 year
Text
Lemme tell you, if the new show explicitly disproves any of my takes on how TMA’s world functions: No it didn’t, because I’m not going to listen to that thing until it’s over (not judgemental; just how I roll), and I don’t have to account for canon I don’t consume.
I might add/amend some of what I absorb by osmosis, if I like ‘em, but that’s a mighty big “might.”
Also, if my headcanons are cooler, I’m still sticking with them.
This is also how I’m approaching comics, for the record :P (Awful lot of osmosis, but I am moseying my way forwards.)
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fellcharas · 2 years
Note
I always thought error and inks differences sort of…..completed each other, I guess? I’m not sure how to put it.
Having ink around consistently, having that one constant in his life could really help stabilize error, both emotionally and probably physically as well since he seems to glitch worse when he’s upset.
Having error in his life would help ink feel SEEN, like he doesn’t have to ‘be useful’ or justify his existence. There’s someone there who loves HIM, and he never has to be afraid of being alone or forgotten or abandoned.
I just feel like they could both help heal each other, y’know?
NO I AGREE 100%
i think their differences complete each other too! to me i just never see people talk about their similarities - but then again, it's those similarities that make their differences stand out so much more in my mind!
they are definitely constants for each other, too. i mean, considering error remembers nothing about who he was as geno except for the sheer resentment and anger moments before becoming a glitch, it's no wonder he feels so conflicted about the multiverse. he's selfishly selfless, in a way, because he resents having all those ridiculous versions of him get a happy ending when he didn't, while also not wanting the same exact situation that he went through to be repeated.
and ink's whole relationship to the creators is something that i view to be both emotionally and mentally unhealthy, y'know? like, it gets into his head that he's "above" everyone else because he has this special connection - a connection made by being gifted paints that allow him to feel - and in response to that connection, he wants it to be consistent and reciprocal, so he feels like he owes the creators his entire existence.
their main differences are in these things - that ink feels like his existence can only be justified by appealing to the creators, which means to keep them around and keep himself from being forgotten, more AUs and conflict must be created. but then there's error, who feels like his existence cannot be truly justified, that everything has gone wrong for him - why him? he asks himself - and that stirs such a deep burning bitterness inside of him.
so yeah, while they could absolutely clash and have trouble seeing eye to eye in respect of their circumstances, it's also possible that such differences are what make them get along so well! because they're on totally opposite sides of perspective, yet on the same exact spectrum.
it's kind of like how i'm somewhat of an optimistic nihilist, and my best friend is a more pessimistic nihilist. we definitely don't see completely eye to eye on our outlooks on life, but we also understand that these things are littered with complexities and nuance and that's why we still get along. because there's so much variation.
it's honestly just really fun to dissect error and ink and wonder what their dynamic would be like with respect to their canon characters - or as close to canon as possible - because it goes over so much that fanon has, in large part, ignored or forgotten
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alvojake · 25 days
Note
How about pirate! Jungwon and mermaid! Reader? You can make it dark and stuff. Up to you 😘
「notes」 : bless you and your thinking anony, this is such a *chefs kiss* idea, I actually had a lot of fun writing it!! also, I would like to dedicate this to two of my lovely moots hehe, @yeonzzzn & @wondipity. I hope this feeds into your jungwon brain rot
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Midnight Lagoon | Y.JW
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「paring」 : pirate!jungwon x mermaid!reader 「word count」 : 1.9k
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「synopsis」 : what you and jungwon had was nothing short of unethical, if you were to ask your people, that is. neither of you cared, though, which is how you find yourself waiting for the said man in the very cavern that had started everything, relishing in each other's company.
「genre」 : smut
「warning」 : unprotected sex (just don't), slight manhandling, teasing, cussing, making out, petnames (baby, princess...), praising, rough sex, mentions of marking, creampie, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, lmk if I missed anything!
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The cavern was silent, save for the waves splashing against the shore. It had to have been late into the night. The only source of light was the bioluminescent algae that littered the cavern walls and ceiling. The algae illuminated the space in a soft blue, and the water almost glowed along with it. You lay out on the rocks, crimson tail dipping into the water, enjoying the feeling of the waves cascading across your scales.
Despite knowing the time, you knew that he would be here at any moment. You knew that as soon as his crew was all asleep, he would sneak away to come see you. It has become a routine since Jungwon first found you.
It’s a funny story, really. You had gotten caught in one of their nets when they were anchored in this very cavern. The string was far too tight for you to just rip away from, so you were stuck, fearing that your life was going to come to an end. You had heard the stories from your parents and the elders of the shoal. Pirates were not to be messed with; they would kill you on sight and take your scales to pawn off for a pretty penny.
So to say you were surprised when Jungwon found you and just cut you free would be an understatement. His hands were steady but careful as he wedged his blade between your tail and the net, slicing the dreadful contraption off of you. Even his voice was soft as to not alert those that were on the ship with him. His kind eyes and gentle hands intrigued you and you knew it was wrong, hell it was probably one of the worst things you could do in your life. But god, if you didn’t enjoy the thrill of it all. 
After those events, you stayed behind a cluster of rocks, watching and studying what they were doing. Your family had been worried sick about you all night long, but that was the least of your concerns right now. No, you wanted to actually talk to this man, even if it was the dumbest thing you’ve done. Curiosity has gotten the best of you.
So you waited… and waited… and waited. Finally, you saw Jungwon climbing off of the boat.
You tried to sneak up behind him, but for some miraculous reason, he sensed you there. His head turned, and his eyes bore into yours, peeking from the top of the water.
“I didn’t think a pretty thing like you would hang out around here.” His once soft voice now held a more sinister tone, but instead of getting scared… you were intrigued. Something pulling you towards him, like an angler fish going after the little light antenna on their heads.
That desire only grew from that night when he lured you out of the waters, watching as your tail morphed into human legs, leaving your bottom half completely bare to him. The complete ecstasy that his fingertips brought you left you gasping and begging for more. His dick reaching the most inner parts of your body that you hadn’t even known existed. By the time he was done with you, you had become addicted, wanting nothing more than to be in his embrace once more.
Thus began the little rendezvous, meeting in the very place where he first made love to you, much like what was happening now.
When Jungwon made it into the cavern, he wasn’t surprised at all to find you lying halfway in the water, your tail swishing softly under the surface. Your head was tilted back, eyes closed, enjoying the tranquility that this space brought you. He stopped once he was close enough to fully see you. Watching the way your damp hair cascaded down your back, small droplets of water still falling from the ends. His eyes trailed the length of your body, taking in your chest that was hardly covered due to the shell top you were wearing. Jungwon could feel his dick chub up at the sight alone.
Jungwon’s footsteps were careful and quiet, but you could still feel the vibrations under your fingertips. Your head turned slightly to look over at him, and the corner of your eyes crinkled slightly as a smirk spread across your lips.
“It took you long enough,” you teased the male as you pulled yourself further from the sparkling water. Your fingers wrapped around the pendant that lay between your collarbones, whispering a few soft words, allowing your tail to morph into human legs. Jungwon’s eyes stayed glued to your body, taking in the new skin that had just been revealed to him.
“I had to wait for everyone to fall asleep.” His voice was soft, unlike the dark look that glazed over his eyes. You carefully stood to your feet, but seeing as it's been a little bit since the last time you had to use your legs, your knees buckled, and you tumbled forward right into Jungwon's arms. “Even the sight of me has your legs weak, huh? I'm flattered.”
“Oh, hush.” You rolled your eyes before fixing your posture to wrap your arms around his neck, fingers playing with the ends of his hair. His face was merely inches away from yours, eyes boring into your own. He could smell the sea salt on your skin as he leaned closer to you, sealing your lips in a gentle kiss. 
“God, I've missed your lips so much.” He groaned against your lips, “... I missed you.” He sighed before letting his lips trail from yours to your cheek, down your jaw and neck, before finding purchase on one particular spot right below your ear. A soft sigh fell from your lips as you pulled his body flush against yours, leaving little to no room between the two of you. He continued to press open-mouth kisses along your jugular until he was sure there would be marks left behind, not caring for the consequences you might face once you were home.
“Won…” You whine when his hands traveled down to the fat of your ass, squeezing harshly. He licked a long stipe up your neck before roughly kissing you. His lips moved fervently against yours as he swiftly picked you up off of your feet. 
Jungwon wasted no time in laying your body flat on the flat rocks that sat next to the lagoon. His body slotted against yours, allowing you to feel his bulge against your bare pussy. Your small whines and whimpers were swallowed by Jungwon’s mouth as his fingers brushed along the inside of your thigh.
Your body felt like it was on fire under his touch, his fingers leaving tingles in their wake. But it wasn’t enough; no, you wanted more, and you didn’t want to wait. Noticing the impatiens in your eyes, Jungwon chuckled, pressing his thumb firmly against your clit, making your hips buck and a broken cry fall from your lips.
“Do you really want my cock that bad baby? You’re dripping on my fingers.” He teased, his fingertips tracing your slit, collecting your slick.
“Wonnie, please, I don’t wanna wait. Just fuck me, please.” You pleaded in a meek voice, and Jungwon smirked against your skin.
Who was he to deny you what you were asking so nicely for? So he pressed one last kiss against your forehead before pulling back to rid himself of his clothing. Your mouth watered at the sight of his cock springing free from his trousers. Catching your gaze, he put on a bit of a show, pumping his cock a few times, hissing through his teeth at the sensation. Impatience grew in your chest as you watched him pleasure himself. A whine fell from your lips when he denied your motion for him to move towards you. 
Eyes rolling, you moved your hand down to your cunt using your fingers to spread your pussy lips, “Just fuck me already, Won, please.”
He chuckled once more before finally giving in and moving closer to your body, grabbing your plush thigh. Leaning over your body, he captured your lips in another heated kiss as he lined his cock with your entrance. In one swift motion, he buried himself in your warm heat, swallowing all of the moans that slipped past your lips.
“Fuck you’re so fucking tight, baby,” He groaned, biting down on your bottom lip. It had been far too long since he was last able to bury himself in your wet cavern, the crew and missions taking up a majority of his time. So he wasn’t going to hold back; no, he had a lot of lost time to make up for.
He gave you a split second to adjust before his hips were snapping into yours in such a rough manner you were sure there would be bruises. The sounds of your skin hitting his and moans bounced off of the cavern walls. Jungwon couldn’t hold back; his hips were pistoned into your, trying to get as deep as he could, throwing your legs over his shoulders, pushing even deeper. Deep enough to have the head of his cock kissing your cervix. 
Wonton moans fell from your lips as you tried your best to stay up with his pace, but as soon as his tip brushed over that sweet spot deep in your pussy you were putty in his hands. Stars clouded your vision, your orgasm already on the tip of your tongue.
“Fuck- Won, I’m- shit, I’m close.” Tears brimmed in your eyes at the sudden overwhelming pleasure. Jungwon leaned down, kissing over the few tears that had fallen from your eyes, whispering sweet praises against your skin while his hip snapped brutally into yours.
“You’re such a good girl, aren’t you?” He groaned when your cunt squeezed around him, “fuck princess, you keep doing that, and I won’t last.” His hands trailed from your thigh to your hands, intertwining your fingers when your high washed over you. His pace slowed just a little to help you ride out your orgasm, but his movements never stopped.
“Won-” “Just a little longer, baby, I’m almost there.” He groaned before picking up the pace once more, letting go of one of your hands to rub his thumb against your clit, relishing in the feeling of your walls fluttering around him.
Your head fell back at the overstimulation, all words but his name leaving your brain. Jungwon loved when he got you like this, so fucked out that his name was the only thing you could remember. Chuckling, he pressed a kiss against your plush thigh before a choked groan tore through his lips when he felt you cum for a second time. The tightness around his sensitive cock was enough to finally push him over the edge, painting your velvet walls white.
“Shit…” He groaned into your neck as he leaned over you, hips rocking softly against yours. Taking in your scent, memorizing it once more for he wasn’t sure when he would be able to see you again. 
“Won,” you breathed out, running your shaky fingers through his hair. "You’re still hard.”
Jungwon couldn’t help but chuckle before rolling his hips deeply into yours, pushing his cum further into your womb, “You drive me insane, baby, and I want to fill you so full of my cum.”
A whine slipped past your swollen lips as his pace picked up a little, but your grip on his body didn’t let up. No, your lips found his, kissing him deeply, telling him that you would love nothing more.
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@alvojake | Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or repost any of my work
𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖒𝖊𝖗 : ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ɴᴏ ᴡᴀʏ ᴀ ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʀᴇᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏꜰ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴘᴜʀᴇʟʏ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ꜱᴇʀɪᴏᴜꜱʟʏ.
𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 : @heesitation @riftanswhore @yeonzzznn @yzzyhee @skzenhalove @seuomo @moonchus @enha-stars @ikeuverse @ilovesubbymenn @ro-diaries @yeonjunsfox
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viennakarma · 3 months
Text
Alonso Shenanigans
Fernando Alonso x Reader
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Summary: Mamá has business to attend, and Fernando is left to watch his son and get a hold of his whereabouts.
Word count: 1.8k
Tags: female reader, established relationship, tooth rotting fluff, dad!Nando, silly little slice of life, not beta read
Relationship: Fernando Alonso x Reader
Note: Another bite sized fluffy Nando fic, because I think about that one thing he said about finding happiness in becoming a father at least four times a week. Comments and feedback are appreciated xx
“Are you sure, love?” You asked again, nervous, watching as Fernando carried Alejandro attached to his hip.
“Yes, I’m sure, will you be back later today?” Fernando asked, as Ale played with his father’s hair, mumbling a little lullabye.
“Yes, in around three hours,” you said, kissing the top of Ale’s head, then pecking Fernando’s lips, “I’m really sorry, this meeting came out of nowhere, I promise I’ll make it up to you when-”
“Amor, it’s ok,” Fernando interrupted, “Go, we’ll behave and wait for you.”
It was just media day, but unfortunately a last minute meeting at your company needed to happen, and you’d have to leave your husband and kid alone in the paddock so you could go back to the hotel to attend the meeting online.
“Love you two to the moon and back!” You said, scurrying off.
“Mamá!” Alejandro asked, suddenly noticing his mother’s absence, and getting fussy.
“Mamá had to work, we’re going to have a lot of fun together today!” Fernando said, putting him on the floor, and holding his hand.
He took Alejandro all around, when he went to talk with the mechanics about the last update to his car, when he went to take a few pictures, recording a few marketing stuff, here and there. Everyone knew Alejandro as “Little Alonso”, his tiny feet padding around, his head full of disheveled brown wavy hair, and eyes that were pretty much the same as his father. He was always around, pointing at his dad’s car, muttering gibberish half in spanish and half in english, he also liked walking to the engineers pulling on their shirts to get their attention so he could ask for a headphone.
At the age of four and a half, Alejandro was a known face around the paddocks, always asking questions and waiting to know about everyone’s business.
“Papá, I’m hungry!” Alejandro patted his own belly, which made his dad chuckle.
“Ok, we’re getting food, campeoncito,” Fernando muttered, leading his son to his room. Inside, he rummaged through all his bags, searching for his snacks and juice bottle.
He ended up sitting beside Alejandro in the cafeteria, the little boy munching in a pot of cut fruits, a bag of chips, and a mango juice. Alejandro talked about everything, asking about the people and the colors, and why everything was where it was.
Eventually, Fernando had a meeting, so he set a little playing mat to Alejandro on the floor of the meeting room, where he put his son’s toys, paper and crayons. 
“Papá, yo quiero inside your car!” Ale asked, as Fernando placed him on the little mat.
“I’ll take you to sit in my car as soon as we finish here, yes? Just sit tight and I’ll be really fast. Do you want to play with your toys, or paint a little? Come on,” Fernando took a crayon and started drawing, looking over his shoulder to see his engineers and strategists getting inside, sitting down, opening their laptops and notes. Nobody batted an eye to Fernando kneeling on the floor, convincing his kid to sit quietly. Everyone was used to the Alonsos’ shenanigans.
Finally, after making sure Alejandro was still on the mat, under his sight, Fernando went on and started the meeting.
It took something between 20 and 30 minutes until it was over, and when Fernando went to pick Alejandro, he noticed his little boy wasn’t there anymore, and the door was slightly ajar. Muttering every curse word he could think of, he bolted outside. Alejandro had become a little menace in escaping rooms now that he was tall enough to tiptoe and reach a door handle.
“Have you seen Alejandro?” He stopped a couple of the staff in the hall to ask. They just shook their heads. He went to the garage, and stopped the whole team of mechanics, his heart beating faster than it did when racing, “Have you guys seen Alejandro?”
“He walked past with Lance a few minutes ago,” Someone said, pointing outside. Fernando breathed again, ok, at least he wasn’t alone, roaming around and in danger.
Striding forward, Fernando kept looking for his teammate and his son, and eventually ended up in Ferrari. He walked inside to ask Carlos if he had seen the little boy, but he stopped short when he noticed a tiny hand print made with what looked like grease on the livery of the 55 Ferrari, and the letters “ALE” written sloppily with the very same black grease.
“Oh, mierda,” he whispered. Carlos noticed him, walking up to Fernando with a smile.
“Ale was just here with Lance, we talked for a couple of seconds, and when we looked, he had his hand printed on the car,” Carlos explained, as Fernando winced.
“Lo siento, Carlos. Do you know where they might have gone?” He asked.
“Well, Lance said he was going to wash Ale’s hands. So, back to Aston Martin, maybe?” Carlos shrugged.
Fernando went back to his garage, looking for Lance and Alejandro. Finally, he found Lance using a cloth to dry his hands. He smiled and waved at Fernando, who quickly went up to him.
“Is Alejandro with you?” Fernando asked.
“Oh, he saw George walking by, ran up to him and they both bolted together. I have no idea where they went. Sorry.” Lance muttered.
Fernando walked out again, going to the Mercedes motorhome to find his son once again. Honestly, everyone loved Alejandro way more than they loved Fernando, he was pretty sure, and the little boy was frankly a menace all around. If he found someone like George to match his energy, they would go around causing trouble to everyone.
At the Mercedes motorhome, he found Lewis staring curiously at a bowl of fruits.
“Hey, have you seen Alejandro? Lance said he and Geor-” Fernando stopped himself when he got closer to the table where the bowl of fruits sat.
“Well, for sure they’ve been here,” Lewis muttered, holding an apple, showing how the fruit had one single bite taken off. One little bite which Fernando knew very well who that dental arch belonged to. There was a bite on the apple, the banana, the pear, the peach and every single fruit there.
“¡Ay, dios mio! I’m sorry about this!” Fernando whispered, “I need to find them before him and George set the whole paddock on fire.”
Fernando walked out, knowing that George was probably going to look for Alex or Lando, who would probably support their little mischief around. He found Williams garage first, where he found a laughing Logan Sargeant picking up what looked like hundreds of little pieces of lego. And Fernando knew his kid, and knew he loved throwing things to the floor to make a mess.
“That’s Alejandro’s doing, right?” Fernando asked, wide eyed. Logan nodded and explained how the little boy had been there with George to taunt Alex after throwing his lego piece to the floor and scattering all the tiny pieces. Fernando helped Logan pick up the pieces from the floor.
“The three of them left, saying they had to prank Lando too,” Logan told Fernando, when they finished.
Fernando ran off, walking to McLaren, where he found Lando washing off his hair which was tangled in pink play dough, and George was trying to help him. Standing a little far behind, Alex had Alejandro sitting on his shoulders, the two of them giggling with Oscar.
“Alejandro didn’t do that, did he?” Fernando asked, worried and getting angry.
“No, no!” George was quick, “that was an accident on my part!”
“Yeah, little Alonso is innocent on this!” Lando added. Fernando squinted, not sure if he fully believed that, since Fernando himself had gone through something similar with Alejandro and his play dough.
“Look, any kind of oil will remove that from your hair,” Fernando patted his back, walking to his kid.
Alex gave him Alejandro, who Fernando decided was best to keep attached to him, not letting the little boy out of his sight again.
“Green! Verde, verde!” Alejandro was exclaiming to Alex.
“What is going on, pollito?” Fernando asked.
“He asked me to paint my hair green next time,” Alex explained, showing his blonde hair.
“And you agreed?” Fernando frowned.
“Yeah, whatever little Alonso wants, little Alonso gets,” Alex shrudded, laughing and pinching Alejandro chubby cheeks.
“You guys spoil him too much!” Fernando shook his head, waving goodbye and taking Alejandro back to his garage, “now I understand why mamá wants to buy a little backpack leash for you, little troublemaker.”
Alejandro held his face, looking into his eyes, then hugging him tight, which made Fernando’s annoyance from having to chase his son around completely dissolve, and he melted, hugging his boy. He could never get angry with his cute little man, especially when he reminded him so much of his younger self.
“Papá? Where’s Mamá?” Alejandro asked, looking around.
“Mamá is coming back soon, pollito,” he whispered, kissing his son’s cheek, “I’m missing her too.”
Fernando didn’t lose sight of Alejandro anymore, and when he had to leave for the press conference with other drivers, he left his PR manager to watch Alejandro while you had not come back. He was sitting on the sofa, answering questions but he still could watch Alejandro in a little chair on the opposite side of the room, beside the manager.
At some point, he noticed Alejandro getting fussy and pouty from staying in the same place alone for too long and looking fairly sleepy, Fernando could tell from one look.
“Alejandro,” Fernando called into the mic, the little boy looked around, hearing his dad’s voice, finally, he set his eyes on Fernando and jumped from the chair, “vente aquí.”
The boy took off, running towards his dad, eliciting a little “aw” from the journalists, and a lot of cameras following him until he got to his father, sitting on his lap, nuzzling into Fernando’s chest.
Fernando kept answering questions, and in a couple off minutes, Alejandro was fully asleep. Everyone started talking a little lower, as to not disturb the little one who was sleeping so calmly on his dad’s chest.
When the press conference was over, Fernando carried Alejandro inside his room, keeping his son on his lap, while he went through some data.
Finally when you came back, you found Alejandro on Fernando’s chest, his dad holding him tight while both of them took a little nap, looking so much like each other that it warmed your heart. You kissed both of their heads, running your fingers through Fernando’s hair to wake him up.
“Let’s go back to the hotel, so my pretty boys can eat and rest properly, yes?” You said, kissing Fernando softly, his eyes shining with so much adoration that he didn’t need to say the words, you could see the I love you. “Did you two behave?”
“Like angels!” Fernando winked, which told you that they probably had some Alonso Shenanigans today.
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suguru-getos · 10 months
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Honkai Star Rail men when you don’t say ‘I love you’ back | Genre: Fluff ♥️
Characters included: Dan Heng, Sampo Koski, Jing Yuan, Blade
Dan Heng:
“I love you” the soft coo that came out of Dan Heng’s voice when you made him his favorite meal, especially when he was sick was remarkably cute. You smiled back, urging him to take another bite when you noticed a bland, poker faced expression, something Trailblazer and March 7 were already used to, plastered all over his face.
You chuckled, rolling your eyes and wanting to tease him a bit more; clearing your throat— “What is it? Did you not like the taste of the soup I made?”
Dan Heng could swear he knew what you were upto, pushing his buttons so easily. He both, hated and loved how much control you had over him. Raising a brow, squinting as if you’d just eaten the last slice of his favorite pizza, he cleared his throat again. “I, love, you.”
As if he’s waiting for his examination results, Dan Heng looked at you, eagerly waiting for a response from your parted lips.
…Silence
“I swear if you don’t—”
“Aww, I love you too Dan Heng,” you cooed, kissing his forehead giving up as soon as his pouting became prominent. A victorious huff escaped him as he begrudgingly sipped another spoon of the soup.
Sampo Koski:
“Come on, baby—” Sampo was following you throughout the house like a lost pup. He had only one ask of you tonight, to forgive him for bailing out of the date you planned at the very last minute.
“You know I’d never— purposely do that! Things got— eh, things just got weird and hard to handle, try to understand. Sampo Koski always stays by his friends’ side, then you? You are my significant other!” You scoffed, trying to hide a smile that came at you dauntingly after hearing him confess his love to you.
“Baby, I love you.” He mumbled, almost whining it like a child as he snakes his arms behind you, hugging you against his large frame.
You didn’t respond, even though you had no issues saying it back. You just liked how he was all over the place to make things normal. You really loved that about Sampo. “Please please pleaseeeeee! Say it back.” Sampo begged, kissing your cheek and chanting phrases about how it’ll never happen again.
“Sheesh, I love you too Sampo.” You finally gave up with a chuckle.
“I love you, I love you~ that’s my baby!”
Jing Yuan:
You had been dating the Cloud General for a while now, had it been a fun ride? Certainly not, but his presence does light up your life significantly. It’s safe to say that you both have a ‘pull each other’s leg’ relationship.
“I love you, my divine perfection.” Jing Yuan softly cooed, relishing the time you both got to spend together, in each other’s arms. After being busy for what felt like an eternity.
You hummed in approval, no response other than that. Jing Yuan kissed your shoulder, hands soothingly caressing your arms as he mumbled, “Do you not love me back? Little menace~” you smirked, chuckling at his response, he did want you to say it back. He wanted that— adorably bad.
“Mhm~ I do.” You played along a little bit more, biting your lip and bursting into a fit of laughter when he ticked you softly.
“Then say it back!”
“Alright! Alright! I love you too—” you managed to form barely a sentence, finally letting him hear those words and bask in them
Blade:
You and Blade had decided to spar together today, him being reckless and dangerous as always, only when it’s you— he’s careful. Pinning you against the wall, he leaned in, relishing the fact that you both had been at it for hours now, gasping for air. “I love you”
Blade and feelings didn’t go hand in hand, but the very fact that he’s been so open with you? Makes you want to be a tease. “Oh yeah?” You smirked, raising a brow and whispering. “Good for you.”
A hand that caged you against the wall, softly squeezed the sides of your neck. “Say it back little brat.” Blade also, had a smirk and a motive to brat tame you for it if needed.
You looked at him with absolute adoration. Hands snaking to hold his which were resting onto the curve of your neck. “Make me-”
Things were getting heated up, that’s when you heard something Blade wouldn’t say so easily. “Please?”
“Oh fuck- I love you too baby,” You cupped his face and leaned in with a kiss, knowing completely well you’d be destroyed by him later. ;) Not that you’re complaining.
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kingofbodyrolls · 4 months
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Taehyung fic recs 2023
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In honor of Taehyung’s birthday, I want to share my ultimate favorite Taehyung fanfictions, that I’ve read this year 💜I haven’t read that much of Taehyung, just recently gotten into it, so the list might be short, so I’ll leave some of the fics I’m really excited to read from my ‘to read’ list 💎 I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹
❗Most of these fics are smutty as hell or contains dark themes, so minors dni.❗ 
If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the original fic’s post 💜And if you want more fic recs you can follow me to stay updated 🙂
BTS fic rec index → May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep (jjk)(knj) | Oct (pjm) | Nov (*) | Dec (ksj)(💜) |
Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻. 
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⭐One of the Boys by @littlemisskookie // kth x f.reader // childhoodfriends!au, slice of life, bestfriends!au, neighbors!au, high school!au // 🌩️🥵🥰
📝 All your life you wanted only one thing- for Kim Taehyung to like you. You did everything you could to make this happen, from picking up his hobbies and rejecting anything feminine. But who do you start to become when you stop trying to impress him?
🗨️ Woaw! This was so incredibly good, it’s almost hard to describe, but I’ll try: it does a brilliant job at setting the story up, following oc and Taehyung since childhood, and how their friendship develops over time (and their feelings). It’s really cute and funny and with great smut at the end. Overall a brilliantly good read 💯
⭐Baby, Oh Baby by @jungkookiebus // kth x f.reader // established relationship, noneidol!au // 🥵🥰
📝 Taehyung and you have been trying for months to get pregnant; you’ve tried crazy diets, stuck to your calendar, got him to diet, but it’s all been for nothing. No matter how healthy your doctor says you are, you can’t conceive. Taehyung tries everything within his power to show you that everything is going to be okay and for one night he makes you forget all about the calendars, schedules, and all the crazy things that came with you trying to have a baby. 
🗨️ This was just really cute and loving 🥹The smut was also just ❤️‍🔥💯
⭐Baby Maker by @kookslastbutton // kth x f.reader // marriage!au // 🥵🥰
📝 You're pissed at your husband for being late to your weekly baby-making sessions.
🗨️ Aish, the smut in this 🔥Also all the dirty talk really had me going 🥵
⭐Under wraps by @jungkxook // kth x f.reader // e2l, fake dating // 🥵🥰
📝 There’s nothing you and taehyung seem to hate more than each other - except for christmas. having recently been dumped by your (now ex) boyfriend only seems to make this holiday even worse. but when taehyung suggests that you should pretend to be dating each other to save you both the embarrassment, pity, and bothersome questions from family and friends alike for a fun carefree month of celebrations, you can’t possibly say no.
🗨️ I just love me some good enemies to lovers AU 🥵 the relationship between OC and tae is really good, I think the tension between them was well built 👏���� I loved how their relationship unfolded and grew through their fake dating 🥹 the way OC realized she had feelings for him, but he had showed her before in his subtle moves, how much more he relaxed in her presence. I loved the interaction between oc and tae’s parents too, the way that they could obviously tell that OC was head over heels 😂 ah just, It was really really good! It was funny, it was comforting, and such a lovely read around Christmas! And the smut was sweet and tender (also hot!) 😍 a really great fic that I’ll add to my Christmas re-reads for years to come ✨ I loved it! Please go read it if you haven’t already 🥹
⭐Farmer boy, I Love You by @strawberrynamjoon // kth x f.reader // farming!au, lowkey e2l // 🥵😂
📝 Needing change in your life you decided it would be a brilliant idea to move to your uncle’s small farm, helping him and your cousin Jimin with the daily work. What you didn’t plan was to fall in love with your beautiful yet very annoying neighbour Taehyung, who seemed to make it his personal mission to tease you every chance he got. And what you expected even less was that he seemed to like you too.
🗨️ This was just utterly sweet, so fluffy 🥺 I really liked this: the way that reader and Taehyung’s friendship deepens, their friends and their banter 🥺 everything was so good, soft, sad sometimes, and just really great and funny too 🤭
⭐The Wannabe-Photographer Chronicles [series] by @gimmethatagustd // kth x f.reader // frenemies to lovers // 🥵
📝 You’re so tired of Kim Taehyung’s hipster, wannabe-photographer ass. You’re so tired of Kim Taehyung’s stupid smile and stupid jokes and stupid way of getting under your skin and sticking in your brain.
🗨️ At first I did not realize that this was a series, therefore I’ve linked to the masterlist, lol. Anyway, this series is just so fucking hot, like WHAT 🥵 There’s a lot of banter and their mutual ‘hatred’ for each other just makes this hit incredible hard. Really amazing ✨
⭐Loverboy by @kookslastbutton // kth x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵🥰🌩️
📝 After a startling conversation with your coworkers, you start feeling insecure about your sexual prowess. You don't initiate as much, you haven't worn lingerie yet, and you're still timid about doing much seducing with your body–are you giving your boyfriend boring sex? Taehyung reassures you that you are perfect and have nothing to worry about.
🗨️ These coworkers gotta go, okay?! 😠🤣 Planting seeds of doubt in OC’s head, no, no. Tae to the rescue!! He is so sweet in this too, yes a real ‘loverboy’ 😍 Gosh and then best friend Jimin - that was just pure gold, their relationship and how he helps OC 🥹 That is friendship goals!! A sweet, loving and comforting Taehyung fic - I loved it ✨
⭐Hush, yeah? [series; ongoing/hiatus] by @kithtaehyung // kth x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au, music festival!au // 🥵
📝 Who knew an innocent accident could turn things so dirty..
🗨️ Pure gold ✨ — I don’t really have much to say, except GO READ IT.
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For all of the other lovely fics that I haven’t gotten around to read, but I’m very excited about, I’ve compiled my ‘to read’ list 🙂
‘To read’ list ⬇️
Maybe I do [series; completed] by @chateautae
Gold Rush by @ditttiii
Fanservice by @bangtanintotheroom
Trip by @daechwitatamic
The Art of Obsession by @kooktrash
Dick on the Go by @jeonggukingdom
Love me or we both go down by @gukyi
Gank Mid Lane by @kth1
Good for Me by @icedmatchatae
Something about him by @kooktrash
Love, secret Santa by @jamaisjoons
All I Want for Christmas is You by @ladyartemesia
Buzzed [series; completed] by @junqkook
I’m so sorry that I didn’t get to read more! 😭 Life happened, and yeah. But all of these wonderful fics on my list sound so incredibly good and I really look forward to reading them and give them a lovely review 💜
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAEHYUNG!!! 💜 🥳 🎂
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allieebobo · 7 months
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Do you have any if recommendation?
Ooh! I have really, really bad memory(!!) but these are current faves that I have played/replayed recently that I can think of. A lot of the authors are also THE BEST HUMAN BEINGS EVER. So, double recommendation.
I probably missed a bunch out, so take this as a non-exhaustive list! In no particular order:
(Edit: Added some descriptions but yeah I got a little unhinged so I'm sorry nothing makes sense or if the quality of the write-up went down over time/did not actually give you any useful info)
WIPs with demos
Citadel, @bouncyballcitadel (I think of all the IFs on this list, this one makes me sweat the most. And I've said it once and I'll say it again: the dialogue is so snappy and well-written, and characters are SO DAMNED LOVEABLE.)
Infamous, @infamous-if (I've been manifesting Band/Musician IFs for the longest time, and then this popped up! I've even played Choice of a Rockstar, that's how desperate I was... Anyway, this is legions better than that. Angsty ex routes are my kryptonite, and Seven is just. Inevitable.)
Defiled Hearts: The Barbarian, @defiledheartsblog (I went into this wanting something juicy and fun/historical—and it's all of those things, but I didn't expect it to be so damned funny, too. The ROs are all impeccable.)
Raiders of the Caravan and Apartment 3-3, @leftski-if (A'ight listen, fantasy slice-of-life is my fave genre, and these are IT. Like, everything I never knew I needed in my life, and SO cozy/wholesome, with a cast of characters that I want to befriend in real life.)
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: An Affair of the Heart @doriana-gray-games (First off, the customization in this game is INSANE, and the branching too. I've replayed a couple of times and the little variations I discover each time just blows my mind. Secondly, it's so funny and written so well. Ngl I'm not a Sherlock fan but that's just testament to how amazing this IF is.)
When Life Gives You Lemons, @when-life-gives-you-lemonssss (Modern slice-of-life with an adorable kid, a bunch of hot ROs, CC. Hill's humor, what can I say?)
Golden @milaswriting (Really interesting world-building, one of the coolest fictional cities I've read in an IF, AND I'm obsessed with the ROs, in particular K de la Renta. Also Mila is such an awesome writer, I'm beyond excited for @beyondthegame.)
A Tale of Crowns @ataleofcrowns (This game is beautiful, polished, and SO exciting. Honestly, it looks like the kind of game created by a whole-ass game studio and would cost $50 to buy, it's that good. I really got swept up by this IF—probably played it all in one go.)
Rougi @rougi-if (Again, another game with scrumptious visuals/UI and also is just so well-crafted. I love the premise too, it's so original and fresh.)
Scout: An Apocalypse Story @anya-dev (Unfortunately this one might be on hiatus but I am/was really, really obsessed.)
Wayfarer @idrellegames (Love the game mechanics of this one, and the visuals. Probably controversial, but I like the D&D / random dice effect. And I also like the fact that it feels like an old-school RPG.)
Chop shop @losergames (The premise is all I needed to be sold, really—I'd always wanted to buy GTA as a kid but my parents were like NO WAY. Anyway, this IF did not disappoint, and let me live all my childhood dreams.)
Edit: AHH! How could I forget, one of my recent faves, Folksaga @folksaga-if (Lush atmospheric writing, super unique premise—norse mythology, plus I'm head over heels for Katla).
Completed IFs
Butterfly Soup 1 and 2 @brianna-lei (these are completed and I will never not promote them. Honestly the most adorable, wholesome, funny sports/coming-of-age IF I've read)
Elsinore: After Hamlet @lapinlunairegames (Insanely cool premise, insanely cool execution)
The Thick Table Tavern @manonamora-if (I love bar/tavern games, and this one actually lets you mix drinks! Instant fave.)
Other HGs/COGs I love: Slammed, Tin Star, Fallen Hero, If it pleases the court, A Player's Heart (these last two are so underrated, though I guess cause it's mainly wlw)
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astaroth1357 · 1 year
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The OM Cast as Househusbands
Inspired by my recent rant about domestic Solomon.
Contents: Pure fluff and unhinged roasts.
~♡♡♡~
Lucifer
A-tier. Generally a solid choice skill-wise.
Cooks decent, cleans well, budgets FANTASTICALLY, has a good list of connections/spells for all home repair, and even has a stern (but caring) parenting-style if so desired.
In short, Lucifer can run a house very well. He practically already does! Hope you like having a big, extended family because the brothers are coming with.
Really, the biggest downside to Lucifer is that you'll be constantly worried that he's bored... Man can run a house and then some. He probably has the daily chores done by noon, and then what?
He just has so much extra potential, is what I'm saying. Very "big, beautiful bird in a cramped cage" energy. But then again, maybe making him chill the fuck out and have a low-maintenance lifestyle for once is better for his blood pressure in the long run. Your call.
Mammon
B-tier. He ain't perfect, but he can learn quick.
If you can give Mammon anything, it's that he's a capable guy when he wants to be. He may not be good at cleaning up, cooking, or anything like that on his own, but with some encouragement...?
Big improvements made practically overnight! Shower him in praise and "thank you's" for every little thing he does and he'll start get greedy for it. Then he'll do even MORE around the house and he gets better each time.
Show him how to cook what you like, and he'll never forget. Remind him to fold up the laundry, and he'll get it done. Praise him for keeping the floors clean, then suddenly he's nagging YOU about tracking dirt on the carpet...
And he'll get so proud about it too... Like, he's your first man and you NEED him now. What would you ever do without him?? Now hand over your shirts because he has some ironing to do, dammit!!
The only downside is you'll have to handle the finances... The words "Mammon" and "budget" go together about as well as "grainery" and "match." He'll blow through it and then some. Earners beware.
Leviathan
Hovers around C-D tier. Levi can play the role of good househusband for a VERY particular kind of partner, otherwise he's a lost cause.
He is a surprisingly decent househusband ONLY when sufficiently motivated and playing out his "domestic slice-of-life" fantasies are that motivation.
He can cook (anime-inspired dishes), he can clean (if you convince him to treat the house like he does his figurine collections), he can even sew/mend (though the majority of what he makes may be cosplay related)!
He won't leave the house to shop, but deliveries are fine. He also can't keep to a budget that doesn't include a MASSIVE chunk carved out to maintain his otaku lifestyle. He'll throw a fit otherwise.
Really, Levi's biggest problem is that once those "domestic fantasies" become mundane, he'll get bored and go back to his shows and games again.
Anyone with him would need to keep feeding into his role with new "quests" or different tropes to try out like a DM running an irl campaign. Could be fun for a little while, but it'll be too much trouble for you both long term. Best give him a skip.
Satan
S-tier. Very good choice, and he's proud of that fact.
Cooks well, very conscientious of your needs, knowledgeable on many topics from recipes to home repair, actually knows how to do laundry in a timely manner... a very good man indeed.
100% the kind of husband who sees that it's going to rain, so he treks out to wherever the hell you are to make sure you have an umbrella. Can't have you getting sick.
Get him a cat and the house will become his own slice of the Celestial Realm. He'll even text cute pics/updates on what your cat is doing like they're your literal child.
Only downside is cleaning. He's a book horder and will argue until he's blue in the face to keep Every. Last. Pamphlet. An in-house library is a MUST and expect to need expansions. Otherwise, perfect man. Much approval to be had.
Asmodeus
B-A tier. Another decent choice, just a little eccentric at times.
Asmo is that partner who will happily play the part of the trophy househusband buuut he absolutely won't do anything too strenuous or dirty.
Cooking? Totally fine! He isn't amazing, but he's not awful either. Laundry? Say no more! Your clothes will never have a wrinkle again. But cleaning...? Like the floors, attic, or ESPECIALLY the bathroom??
Nope. Nuh-huh. His cute-ass hair and his cute-ass nails in his cute-ass clothes will not stand for it! He's going to beg for a maid immediately.
I guess in exchange you'll be hosting some killer dinner parties, though! Asmo has that "suburban wife who flaunts her amazing life" energy. Also keeping his influencer game alive with tutorials galore.
In short, Asmo is willing not just to spoil you, but elevate you as well. You just need to give him a little pampering in return, kay?
Beelzebub
B-tier. Most of his problems are, predictably, food related...
Beel really, REALLY tries but you are probably never going to have a meal on time (if there's somehow any food left at all).
It isn't that he won't cooking, arguably, he spends TOO much time cooking because he'll spend just as much time eating! Or running to the store because he ate the ingredients again...
Surprisingly, though, he's actually very good at cleaning and caring for another person. That's because it's what he does for Belphie. You think the seventhborn is picking up their room AT ALL? Don't kid yourself...
Probably a good time to point out that another downside (or perk??) of husband!Beel is you also get Belphie! But he's just as spoiled as ever so... Hopefully Beel's overwhelming amazingness will make up for that.
If you like Belphie and don't mind an empty cabinet, Beel is a good choice. If not, there are better options available, I promise.
Belphegor
D-tier. Shit househusband. Doesn't even try.
Won't clean, won't cook, won't shop, can't fix, can't budget, and don't even get me STARTED on the state of the sheets!!-
He is a decorative plant of a househusband. Meant only to make the room look nicer by his presence. I've seen dogs more capable and self-motivated to maintain a household than this man will ever be.
Should you somehow get him to exert the effort, he will whine and complain the entire time. And even then, he won't do much more than put some things away and order takeout.
The only upside to Belphie is that since he's always asleep, it's not like he's making the house any dirtier. Vacuuming around his unconscious ass is home life now. At least you probably get Beel too.
Diavolo
C-B tier. What he lacks in experience, he makes up for in enthusiasm.
So... he basically can't do anything but since he's never had to, you can cut him some slack. He loves the idea of TRYING though, so you have an eager student!
He finds cooking to be a fun challenge and he isn't terrible at it. Cleaning is a drag but he likes to see you happy. You'll have to teach anything laundry/clothes related, unfortunately, and sending him to the grocery store without a very detailed list may result in him buying an entire aisle if he doesn't know what to get.
At least he'll genuinely love to hear about your day and have the biggest smile and warmest greeting for you every time you come home. He's like a big'ol puppy, just thrilled with your existence!
(Honestly, if something has him stumped, he'll call for Barbatos to help. He'll try to hide it because he wants to show that he can do things himself, but at the end of the day your happiness wins over his pride. Now let the butler fix your plumbing.)
Barbatos
SS-tier. So good, it's literally not fair.
He's been caring for another person for centuries. He has every possible skill he would need permanently etched into his DNA. He is the Grand Master of Domestic Life that all others should strive for.
Meals are at perfect temperature by the time you sit at the table. The house is so spotless that you could eat off the broom closet. Anything that breaks gets fixed/replaced within the day. He even leaves words of encouragement in the little notes packed up with your lunch. You'll start to wonder if he's an angel who's infiltrated too deep....
Barbs also seems to have a sixth sense for whenever you've had a bad day. You come back dragging from exhaustion? You favorite meal is already cooked, the bath is ready to be drawn, and would you like a shoulder rub on top of that? Feel free to vent, he loves to listen to whatever stories you have to share!
There are only two downsides to Barbatos: the first is that you are absolutely sharing him still with Diavolo and the young master is his top concern. So sorry.
The second is that moment he gets even the hint that there may be a rat in the house, he'll nuke the place with all of your stuff still in it. So keep some traps out and keep'em fresh, yeah? You'll be fine.
Simeon
S-tier. He even comes with pre-installed parenting skills! (If you're into that kind of thing).
Simeon may not have Barbs' "live to serve" mentality, but he is truly an angel to a fault. The man already acts as Den Mother of Purgatory Hall, so what would you expect?
He cooks well enough to own his own business and you can't run a business without being good with your cash. He probably has book royalties too... Plus, he cleans up after Solomon's messy ass in canon, so-
He's gonna be that husband you take to the office party and nobody will leave you alone about him for the next week. People are going to ask if he has a brother or some shit (give them Raph's number, I dare you)
Admittedly, home repair (especially of the electronics he's guaranteed to break) should probably go to someone else. Also, he is a package deal with Luke. That child is your unspoken son now, and you'll just have to deal with that.
Otherwise, he's trophy material. Marry him and carry him over that threshold! He's worth it, truly.
Solomon
I've already ranted about Solomon here. But if you aren't aware, he's D-tier saved only by the fact that he's really trying his best.
800 year-old bachelor be like: "Oh, you're supposed to change those...? They don't smell that bad after a month."
"Of course those dishes are clean! Yes, I can see that there's still food on them, but I washed them with soap. That's what makes them clean."
"What do you mean, 'Don't set the table with beakers on date night?' Isn't this one your favorite??"
"Dinner's almost done, honey! Just let me finish clubbing this octopus!" 😁
Disaster husband. Just leave him to his delusions and get used to takeout...
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shogunish · 5 months
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𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗷𝗼𝘀 & 𝗶. [𝟬𝟭]
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pairing. single dad!/dilf! gojo x f! reader
genre. fluff, comfort, slice of life
contents. megumi is gojo's biological son, non-curse! au, language
words. 1.4k
summary. when satoru struggles as a single dad, he's more than thankful when the new neighbor wants to help him out.
note. just a fun little series that i talked with @cinnamonmon about 🫂 also i'm not dead, just lurking in the shadows
comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!
previous || next
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when you move into your new apartment, you never expect the sadness of a child to fill the dead of night. soft sobs seep through the walls that are as thin as paper, it seems. otherwise, you wouldn't wake up with heavy eyes and half the mind to silently complain about the kid crying next door. with a groan, you check the time: 11 pm. you let your head drop back into the plush of your pillows, arm draped over your eyes as a sigh slips your lips.
sure, it's normal for children to cry, you know that much, but you would give the world up if it meant that the kid shut–
the sound of a key opening a door catches your attention. is the kid's parent just now coming home from work? that is either irresponsible or a very tragic situation. either way, you swing your legs out of bed, quietly approach the wall separating you from your neighbor and press your ear against it.
such matters are none of your business. and yet, your heart breaks.
"there, there. papa is here now, buddy." satoru speaks in soft tones as he enters megumi's room and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. the mattress dips underneath his weight.
white hair is a mess, the toe around his neck loose and a couple of buttons popped open. satoru is as tired as megumi looks.
"where were you? i've waited all day for you, papa." megumi is quick to crawl into his father's arms, burying his face in satoru's chest where he sobbed quietly and refused to let go of his dad. it's likely one of those nights in which satoru would share the bed with megumi, his little bundle of joy (even though the boy is scowling most of the time).
in that moment, satoru hugs megumi a little bit tighter as if it could make up for lost time, hoping that his true feelings somehow got through to the little kid in his arms.
failure is the only thing satoru ever feared when he became a dad and he feels like he's doing a phenomenal job at neglecting his son. satoru wants to be there for megumi, for him to have a good life filled with even better memories and friends, but here he was, crying for his dad who is gone all day and night, stuck in an office that keeps him prisoner every fucking day. it's not fair, he thinks.
a father is supposed to raise his child, love and nurture it, yet..and yet..
you swear you can hear the voice of the man living next door choke up like he is on the verge of tears himself.
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when satoru hears three gentle knocks in the morning, he expects the old hag to be behind the door, telling him to control his son or else she'd file a noise complaint. but instead, a pretty woman stands there, a nervous look on your face and a platter of homemade cookies in your shaky hands.
right..the new neighbor who moved in just a couple of days ago. satoru hasn't seen you around before, but you certainly are a sweet thing, looking all shy and nervous. if he didn't think you're there to complain about megumi crying last night, he'd smirk at you and maybe flirt a little bit.
"hey, uhm..i know this might be weird, but may i talk to you for a second?" your voice is soft like velvet and yet, satoru can't help but believe that your next words would be against his son. because of him.
quickly, you lift up the platter of freshly made cookies and let a smile tug at the corners of your lips. "oh yeah, i made cookies, too!"
satoru can't quite make sense of why exactly you show up at his doorstep in the morning, but you..don't look like trouble if you bring cookies. "..sure, come in."
with a nod of your head, you thank satoru and enter the surprisingly cozy home. pictures of megumi and satoru hang on the walls, shelves are filled with books, photographs and souvenirs from travels. it doesn't take a genius to see that the furniture is rather expensive and you silently wonder just how much satoru earns to be able to afford it. maybe you shouldn't touch anything. just in case.
you're ripped out of your thoughts when a wet snout sniffs you and you're greeted by two dogs, one with black fur, one with pristine white fur. just behind them stands megumi who regards you with a somewhat unimpressed look; completely different from the child you heard last night.
smiling, you offer megumi a warm cookie and kneel down to his height. he is an adorable little thing, you think to yourself. "here, have one. but don't let the dogs eat them. chocolate is bad for them, you know?"
the boy looks at his father who nods at him and finally takes the cookie. "thank you..," he mutters and is quick to hide the candy from his dogs that were already regarding him with those infamous puppy eyes. you can't help but laugh.
a smile tugged at the corners of satoru's lips at the view. affectionately, he ruffled through megumi's hair. "go play with the dogs, megumi. the adults need to talk, okay?"
negumi..pouts. "..fine.." even though he doesn't look too satisfied with his father's words, megumi calls his dogs, kuro and shiro, and goes outside in the garden.
once megumi is out of earshot, satoru's face morphs into a more serious expression. sitting down on the couch, he offers you the seat next to him, cerulean eyes stare at you over the rim of his pitch black shades. "so? what is it you wanted to talk about…?"
"[name]," you fill the gap with a kind smile on your lips, putting the platter of cookies on the coffee table. you don't quite know where to start. your concerns, your offer..it is more than just odd. a beat of silence fills the air while you fidget with your fingers, but satoru doesn't seem to mind as he allows you to gather your thoughts.
"it might sound really weird, but..i heard megumi cry last night and..," you trail off, pausing. "..it sounded like you were struggling.."
"..huh..?" satoru's eyes widen at your words. his cool exterior..it cracked.
you suddenly go on an awkward ramble, telling satoru about how megumi woke you up at 11 pm, how you heard the key in the lock and decided to listen in. "what i'm trying to say is.." a soft sigh slips your lips. "..i don't think you're doing this on purpose and if there's something, anything i can do to help.."
satoru glances outside where megumi plays with the dogs, crumbs of your cookies around his mouth and the ghost of a smile on his little features. giving his little treasure into the care of a stranger should be a no-go for any father who loved their child, but..you look like you really wanted to help with those round eyes of yours staring at him so pleadingly. if you hadn't been genuine, you wouldn't be sitting on his couch and offering your help.
a small, humorless laugh escapes satoru's throat. "megumi's mom left me right after he was born. balancing a full-time job with a kid..it makes me feel like i'm the worst father to walk this earth."
satoru took off his shades, letting you see the sky in his eyes. he pushes his messy bangs back, sighs and even though he still looks stressed, the tension in his shoulders leaves as if he shed a small part of the burden placed upon him.
"i don't think you're a bad father. just an overworked one who needs a hand." and when you say those words in a voice so warm that it rivaled honey, satoru can't help but see the light at the end of a tunnel.
at least one person knows he's trying for megumi. even if that person is a stranger, it felt..good to be seen and heard. just what are you, satoru thought. heavensent? an angel? too good to be true? maybe all of the above.
"..do you think you could watch over megumi tomorrow?"
a grin settles down on your features, crinkles the edges of your eyes and lets a little blush bloom on the apples of your cheeks. "of course!"
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taglist. @ayanominitrash, @torusmochi
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thatoneyanderewriter · 5 months
Text
Deception
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pairing: yandere!coriolanus snow x everdeen!reader
summary: it’s the things we love the most that destroy us.
warnings: yandere behavior, stalking, implied murder, violence, delusion, possessive!snow(as in VERY possessive) unhealthy relationships, superiority complex, narcissistic tendencies.
a/n: I love Lucy gray okay? but she didn’t exist in this! Just for the plot btw. also more yandere tbosas characters to come!
Coriolanus liked to think that he was always on top. Snows were, after all, very prominent. That was what was keeping him going in life. His name.
This mentorship would be the key to his future. He had already decided he wanted to be the President of Panem, another way for him to gain control.
He first notices you at the reaping. Not physically. But it’s programmed live, so everyone could see. You stood out. Maybe not on purpose, but to him you did.
“District 12 Girl is Y/N Everdeen.”
The Mayor looked smug. You look over to a smug redhead. He wondered what past you shared with her. And you stood tall and confident. You kept your expression the same as you walk.
The redhead screamed, as the mayor called for help. That was revenge. But you didn’t do anything else, as you stood, the Mayor slapped you so hard you were off of your knees.
But you made no reaction as you stood back up, giving the mayor a warm smile as he was taken away. This was your opportunity, sure. You went over to the mic simply said,”Thank you, hope you enjoyed the show!”
Stepping back, You bowed, and added,”I hope you’ll enjoy my show just as much as I do!” You acted as if the audience was cheering, but it was silence.
The Peacekeepers shove you inside as Jessup is announced as the District 12 Male. You shake hands and that’s one of the last moments of the reaping he sees of you.
To be honest, receiving District 12 was a slap to the face. It was the small, joke district. It was clear Dean Highbottom had something against him, giving it to him on purpose.
In fairness, Coriolanus had made fun of him with friends behind his back, but still. It wasn’t fair. His petty resentment shouldn’t intertwine with his work.
But, you had some sort of gift. One he’d use to his advantage when it came to winning the games. And clearly, people liked you.
“I’ll have to admit, Coriolanus, you’ve gotten lucky, His fellow classmate, Hilarius teased. “I have, He replied proudly, having placed his plate next to Clemensia, He spots pie and immediately goes after it.
He hadn’t had Apple Pie in quite some time. The thought of it made his stomach growl. When all of a sudden, Dean Highbottom placed a bogger slice on his plate.”Oh, take a big one. Growing boy like you can handle it.”
Coriolanus grins at him. Thank you, sir. I can always find room for pie.” The Dean responds, “Yes, pleasures are never hard to accommodate, No one would know better than I.”
He never liked Dean Highbottom. He probably only had his position due to his fame of creating the hunger games.
The conversation sent chills down Coriolanus’ spine when Dean Highbottom spoke the words,”Look at you, in your makeshift shirt and your too-tight shoes, trying to hold it together. Strutting around the Capitol, when I doubt the Snows have a pot to piss in. Even with a prize, it would be a stretch, and you don’t yet have one, do you? What then, I wonder, would happen to you? What then?”
The next morning, Coriolanus stood at the Train Station. After hearing about the arrival of the tributes, he felt it was best to see you personally. A start that most hadn’t jumped to.
This made him feel more confident. And in his hand was a white rose, one from his grandmother’s garden. It was Tigris who suggested bringing a gift. And his cousin was never wrong, most of the time at least.
The train was a bit late but when you arrived, didn’t run per se, but rushed over to you, rose in hand. “Welcome to the Capitol, He greeted you.
You look up at him.”You shouldn’t be here, well, you don’t look like you do.” “I probably shouldn’t, He admits. You laugh a little, but aren’t scared. You don’t trust him right away of course.
“So then, What’s a Capitol boy like you doing around here? You ask, eyeing his clothing. “I’m your mentor, He said.”And I wanted to know you without the Capitol.”
“Hm, a rebel, You teased, taking the rose from him.”Does everyone have a mentor?” “Yes, but the others are waiting I suppose, He winked.
Coriolanus was intrigued. You were a bit more bold and confident than he expected. But the reaping showed a little bit of that.
“What does my mentor do besides bringing roses? You joke. “I do my best to take care of you, He said.”Coriolanus Snow.”
“I’m sure, if you’re my mentor, you know my name, but I like yours, You compliment.”And good luck, by the way. A lot of people don’t like me. Might try to kill you too.”
It was a clear joke, but Coriolanus was still puzzled. How could anyone hate you? You weren’t dangerous by any means, and the confidence you had became attractive to him, almost.
You expect to go on by yourself, but Coriolanus joins beside you, being shoved into the platform. He did so much for you, and maybe you should’ve done more. Then, you saved his life. Out of oath and a sense of guilt. And the fact you wanted to help people, not do the opposite.
Eventually, The games ended. And while Coriolanus was certainly relieved. Dean Highbottom found out about his little favor to help you win.
He just had to see you one last time. To say that he had grown infatuated was an understatement. You just were very charming, and sweet. Naive, even. Maybe not from your eyes, but his? Definitely.
“Are you okay? You ask.”You seemed urgent when you asked to meet up.” It was secret, just like your relationship.
“They’re punishing me, He said.”I don’t know if I’ll see you again. I cheated to help you win.” “I would’ve done the same, Coryo, You remind him.”Besides, I owe you. What’s your punishment?”
He could either lie, or tell you the truth. See, he always felt like you needed to be saved by him. He was superior, in a way. Of course he loved you, but he wanted to protect you too.
“I’m going to be a Peacekeeper for 20 years, He admits.”Protocol, but at least I won’t suffer humiliation.”
You chuckle.”I know, Coryo. I’d rather suffer humiliation than be a Peacekeeper. Will I see you again?” He replied,”I don’t know.”
But when you kiss him, it feel incredible. You loved him so. And from your eyes, he loved you too, yet it didn’t change your confidence and boldness.
He was well aware that you would’ve stood up for what’s right. You were an Everdeen. A family of that, according to you.
But truthfully, he insisted on district 12. “Well, they’re sending me back too, Coryo, You tell him.”Might pick up on more jobs to survive.”
He kissed you roughly one last time. Even though he was sure he’d see you again. Maybe without your knowledge.
When you came home, you did as you said. You picked up on more jobs. And when he first was there began following you, more like stalking you, but he was protective of you, his girl, he’d say to himself.
He didn’t want anyone else to have you. And he knew his silly infatuation became an Obsession. But this wasn’t new. Not in the slightest.
You began singing a little at the Hob, alongside the Covey, a group of musicians. You didn’t sing too much, he notices.
But when you did sing, you sang beautifully. You always sang what you felt. And he admired it. One night, however, you noticed him. But made a small reaction, turning back to the song.
When you ended, you rushed over.”Coryo. Didn’t expect to see you here.” “Surprised? He teased. “A little, You admit.”But, I knew you would. It wasn’t too much of a surprise. Nice buzz cut.”
He laughed, your fingers brushing over his shaved head. He’d miss his curls, but they’d return. “Where’s Sejanus? You ask.
You find him within the crowd, and start up a conversation. However, the night ends with you and Coriolanus, like how he wanted.
His ever growing possessiveness for you was showing a little, his grip on your hand was strong. You didn’t care, though. Not at first. You might not see him again. Or rarely.
Your judgement was clouded by the feeling of Love. A feeling many experience at your age. “Y/N, A voice said drunkenly.
You turn, annoyance in your tone.”What? I know exactly why you’re here.” Your former lover, well, truthfully, a one-sided crush at that. He just thought you were lovers.
He'd believe Mayfair over you, on a lie. that was it for you. “Come on, I miss what we had! He whines. “As if it was anything special, You scoffed.”See, if you hadn’t believed that redhead, it would’ve been just fine. She tried to kill me!”
Coriolanus wouldn’t admit it, at least to you, but he was fuming. His jaw clenched, and obvious signs of frustration. You soothe him, or try to. “Coryo, he’s an idiot, You say, assuringly.
“Ah, your new victim? Your former friend said jokingly, but anger in his voice.”She’s just using you, like with me.”
And that seemed to be it. You could only watch as his fists landed on his face. Stumbling back, he groans.”What the-“ Coriolanus wasn’t done. Now relying on his anger, jealousy, and bloodlust. He punched his jaw, so badly that by the time he was done, which was after a few times, his knuckles were bleeding, and blood landed on him.
Clearly, he was good as dead. This was a side you hadn’t seen before. But nonetheless, You couldn’t react. “Coryo… You could only say. And as he looks up, he hugs you, a bit more passionately than usual.
“You were never here. Go. I can handle it.”
You decide on listening. He wasn’t even really suggesting, but rather ordering. And you didn’t want to stay a moment longer.
Truthfully, He felt a sense of power, and control when he was punching him. You were his, not your former friend’s. He had to make sure of that.
It was a swift process, he had killed before, technically having no other choice but still, he was worried you wouldn’t forgive him. Or tell someone. That would ruin his future.
Of course, it didn’t mean he regretted doing so. He loved the feeling he got. The violence itself he enjoyed. And the way he spoke of you, it was justified. He shouldn’t have talked to you like that.
“Coryo, are you alright?”
Hearing your voice, his head spins. Your voice was like a bell to him. “I’m fine, are you? He hurt you? Coriolanus asked in response.
You shake your head.”He’s done this before. He may have hurt me once, but not again.” It was stupid, in your eyes. It wasn’t like he was a lover of yours, just your best friend. You thought he’d choose you over Mayfair, who clearly had her eyes on him.
Which wouldn’t be a problem, if she wasn’t a bitch. “As long as I’m here, Nobody will hurt you, Coriolanus assured you. You smile.”I know. And that’s why I love you, Coryo. Always there for me. I owe you big time.”
You owed him, and he’d never let you forget that. You belonged to him, and nobody else. You better remember that.
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auteurdelabre · 6 months
Text
SOMETHING TO FIGHT FOR (series) Joelxf!reader Part 1
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Word Count: 5.3K
Pairing: Dad!Joel Miller x f!reader (no use of y/n, no physical descriptions) Tommy x Maria, Bill x Frank
Warnings: This is saccharine slice of life with smut and a Soft!Joel. You have been warned. There is swearing, there is smut, but when it gets to those chapters you will have plenty of warning. (That is if there is interest in my story!)
A/N: This is part of a sweeter series (lots of angst, pining and smut ahead) Also despite Sarah's young age Joel is early 40's in this because slightly grey babygirl DILF Joel is the best Joel.
"Please don't make me do this."
You shoot Maria a dark look as she drags you to her wardrobe, ignoring your plea. 
"C'mon, it'll be fun! Plus I need your help picking out what to wear."
She opens the gleaming wood doors with a flourish and indicates with her head for you to look. You give her a once over with her luminous dark skin, hair in tight braids and roll your eyes. 
Like it matters what she wears.
Maria is stunning. Arresting. Whatever other adjectives you need to describe someone who is not only beautiful but kind, brave, opinionated, strong... and occasionally manipulative. 
How else can you explain why an hour later you're seated in her car on the way to the cheapest Italian restaurant in town for a double date? 
"Tommy is so cute," Maria giggles, actually giggles. "I bet his brother is too."
"Mhmmm." You stare out the window with a frown, watching the rainstorm outside. The dress you're wearing feels itchy and you wish you were back at home with a book. 
But you've agreed to this: a blind date with Tommy's brother. 
You haven't been on a date since Paul. Paul with the light eyes and delicate fingers. Paul who promised to love you forever and then taken off to Manhattan, leaving you with rent you couldn't cover by yourself and a heartbreak so devastating it took Maria living with you for a full two weeks to get back to the land of the living. 
Six months later her basement suite is where you currently call home, a place you often find yourself laying in bed at night wondering what the fuck had happened to your life plans. Maria had always been your most successful friend, running her own business, owning this huge house all on her own. She plans on flipping it once the renovations are done. 
And when she'd known you couldn't pay your rent alone she hadn't even asked you how she could help. You'd woken up from a long depression nap amidst the breakup one morning to find your belongings packed and labeled and Maria telling you that you were moving in with her. 
Moving into her basement wasn't exactly how you'd imagined your life at this age. But then again you didn't expect to be single and working at your same low paying job then either. She won't accept rent money either.
She's a fucking saint.
So of course you had to say yes to this favor. Of course you had to pull on your uncomfortable dress and look your best because she’s your closest friend and because she never asks you for anything. 
Maria and Tommy met during renovations at Maria's place. She told you it was an instant connection, a jolt that went through her the minute he'd come through the door to give an estimate. Tommy and Maria's relationship is new, only a few weeks. But you've never seen your friend like this, all bright and cheery and giggly. She's normally more subdued,  more of a quiet observer. 
Love does strange things to people you suppose. 
You know it did to you not so long ago. But yours didn't have the happy ending you're sure your friends’ will. 
The truth is despite your own heartbreak you are delighted for Maria. Genuine joy flows from you when she tells you about Tommy and his dark eyes and his sweet shy way of talking. 
Maria backs the car into the spot, humming nervously under her breath. You scan the large windows of the restaurant hoping to catch a glimpse of Tommy. You've seen a few photos on Val's phone, but those can be deceiving.  
You cell rings shrilly in your purse and you retrieve it just as Maria puts the car into park.
"Hey, just gimme a sec, I'm just getting dinner with Maria," you say as you answer the phone, glancing over at your friend. "Sorry it's my mom calling. I just need a minute if that's okay?" 
"Of course," Maria says nodding solemnly. I'll meet you inside."
She hands you the car keys before running a nervous hand through her braids and heading for the restaurant. You watch her leave, holding in a smirk at her obvious nerves.
"Hi bug," your mom's throaty voice sounds out through the earpiece when you put it back to your ear. "Thought you'd want an update."
"I did yeah, thanks for calling. Did they say anything?"
Anything your mother was going to say is immediately washed out by the most obnoxious sound of "Back in Black" playing at high volume. 
"The fuck - "
Your eyes go to the silver and blue truck that's pulled up next to yours in the crowded parking lot. 
A man with a short beard and tousled brown locks sits behind the wheel putting the vehicle into park. The music is still blasting though, and it's no wonder you can hear him; his window is half down. 
Your mom is still saying something but you can't hear her. You try plugging the ear facing the driver and pressing the phone more harshly against your temple but it's no good. 
Irritation is going like lightning through your body at the actions of the asshole next to you. Another quick glance tells you he's just sitting there, his one arm slung over the wheel as he stares into space. 
"Mom just a sec," you interrupt before rolling down your window and calling out to him.
"Hey!" 
The man in the truck doesn't turn his head in your direction until you call out another sharp 'hey'. As he glances at you his brows lift in question.
"Turn down the fucking music! This isn't a concert."
Thinking back, you could have gone about that in a much kinder way.
You could have politely explained you were on an important call. You could have asked him nicely to turn it down. But you're so anxious about the importance of this phone call, that your manners leave you. 
The man is looking at you as if he can't believe your vitriol. His dark eyes are soulful as he stares at you, unblinking. The music is still pumping in his truck, perfectly matching the tempo of your rapidly rising pulse. 
"Are you deaf or just an asshole?" you shout, your hand still holding the phone to your chest, praying your mom can't hear you verbally lambasting the man next to you. 
The man looks like he wants to say something back at you. A tic in his jaw flexing. He parts his mouth before clamping it shut and glaring openly at you. He jerks the key out of the ignition, the music immediately silencing. 
"... in the hospital," your mother is saying. 
Immediately your attention is back on her and what she's saying. You only notice the man has exited the truck when you hear the slam of its door and the heavy sound of his footsteps diminishing towards the restaurant. You're too fixated on what your mom is saying, or rather, isn't saying. 
"Do they know if . . . " you trail off, not sure if you want to know the answer. 
"Not yet."
The two of you lapse into a gentle silence that your mother is first to break.  "Did you say you were having dinner with Maria?"
"Uh yeah," you say, still processing the information. "Blind date kinda thing."
"Good for you," she says warmly. "Go on then, bug. I don't want to keep you. Give her my love."
"I don't really want to go inside,” you admit. “Rather just stay in the car all night.”
"Enough of that," your mother chides gently. "I didn't raise a coward. Now go on. We'll chat later, I love you."
You respond similarly and place the phone back into your purse. You take a few steadying breaths, glancing at yourself in her rear view mirror and then pulling yourself from the car. 
/////// /////// /////// /////// /////// /////// /////// ///////
The restaurant is dimly lit with gentle cliché Italian music playing in the background. You and Maria have been coming here since college; it's a familiar haunt so it's no wonder that she set the date here. It's some of the worst Italian food in town but also the cheapest. 
You come to the table to see just the two of them sitting across from one another and you feel your heart leap and sinks all at once. Did the brother not show up? Are you off the hook?
Or worse, did he see you and leave? 
Maria smiles at you, her hand still in Tommy's. She nods her head at the chair beside her. "Come sit."
You do, looking nervously over at Tommy and introducing yourself. Tommy reminds you so much of a puppy dog in the best possible way; all smiles and eager energy as he greets you. He's lithe with broad shoulders he covers in a jean jacket over a white t-shirt. His face is clean shaven and his dark hair fans into his equally dark eyes. He's sweet looking, boyish and nervous. 
"My brother's just making a phone call," he explains when he notices you glance at the empty seat beside him. "He'll be right back."
Relief mingled with trepidation goes through you. The waitress comes over with everyone's drinks, leaving a beer in the empty space on the table for Tommy's brother and a berry-colored glass of something in front of you. 
"I got you the sangria," Maria shrugs. 
"Sounds good, thanks." 
You take a sip, feeling nervous as the flavor coats your tongue. The restaurant is busy tonight, not really a shock for a Friday night. You glance around, your eyes darting to Maria and Tommy before you adopt an authoritative tone.
"So Tommy, what are your intentions with Maria?"
Tommy's eyes blow wide in surprise, blinking and stammering. 
“I, I uh –“
"You're so mean," Maria says as you both burst into giggles. "You're fine, honey. She's joking."
At Tommy's stricken expression, Maria pats his hand affectionately. Relief instantly floods his face. 
"Couldn't resist," you say, shooting a glance at a still recovering Tommy. "If it helps, she's crazy about you," 
Tommy's face breaks into a wide grin that he shoots at Maria. "Is that so?"
Maria looks flustered, opening up her menu and pretending she doesn't hear him.
"Let's order I'm starved."
You nod, looking down at your menu with a smile. You know that tonight is going to be awkward, as any blind date with another couple would be. But you like seeing Maria smiling, you like hearing her laugh as Tommy murmurs something to her about the garlic bread. Maria has been through a lot, she deserves this. You resolve to do whatever you can to make this night go well. 
"Ah, there he is," Tommy says shooting a smile at someone behind you. "This is my brother, Joel."
You look up from the menu at the figure who slides into the chair opposite you. You're ready to be as charming as needed to get through this dinner but the smile immediately dies on your face.
It's the man from the truck. 
He's broad shouldered, wearing a dark green button down rolled at the sleeves. It's tight across the arms, emphasizing the width of his chest. He and his brother don't look much alike to you aside from the coloring. Joel's face is pleasant if not serious-looking with big, sad eyes. He's attractive enough, a bit older than you and seems rugged with his beard and tousled locks, threaded with bits of grey.  
He seems to be doing the same mental gymnastics because he goes from looking confused to angry within a microsecond of seeing you.  
So much for a pleasant evening.
Normally you would have wanted to know more about him than the vague description you'd received from Maria on the ride over, but right now you want the earth to swallow you whole. You just screamed at this guy, called him an asshole in the parking lot less than ten minutes ago. Now you have to sit here and pretend to be polite. 
His eyes move swiftly to Maria who looks at him nervously.
“The infamous girlfriend,” Joel says with a small smile. “Pleased to meet you.”
“The even more infamous brother,” Maria says warmly shaking his proffered hand.
“That’d be me,” Joel says with a soft chuckle. You wonder if perhaps you overestimated how rude you’d been. Joel seems perfectly nice right now, smiling at Maria and Tommy and apologizing for taking so long on the phone. Maria introduces you to him in a tone that sounds almost proud.
The smile that Joel has been wearing immediately slides from his face and you clear your throat nervously, forcing a smile onto your face.
"Uh, hi. Nice to meet you."
He gives you a sharp nod by way of reply.He doesn't look at you for long. More a cursory glance at your face before he picks up his beer and takes a swig before turning to ask Tommy something about the job site. 
Great.
You crane your neck, leaning back in your chair hoping to see your waitress in the rapidly filling restaurant. You want this evening to speed up and be over. Maybe you can order an appetizer and dash out. But you can see your waitress deep in conversation with another table of eight and know you'll be waiting a bit. You hold in a sigh as you look back at Joel Miller. 
He's started peeling the label from his beer in tiny scratches. It's obvious to you that he's just as disappointed as you are that you're his date for the evening. Even if you two hadn't experienced the altercation outside you doubt he would have been your type: too serious, too hard. 
Paul had been the opposite: open and funny and immediately putting you at ease.
Stop thinking about him.
You take another sip of your drink, deciding that while Joel is a shit blind date he's actually perfect for practicing on for any future dates. Ones that you may have with men who are a helluva lot more pleasant than he is. 
Maria and Tommy are looking at their menus, obviously trying not to watch the two of you interact. But you can see Maria's eyes darting to you out the corner. You know that she’s silently willing you to make an effort with Joel.
"So Maria says you guys work for a construction company?" You look from Joel to Tommy. 
"We own a construction company," Joel corrects, his dark eyes still glued to the label of the beer bottle he's picking at with a short fingernail. 
Off to a great start.
Tommy joins in, noting his brothers' reluctance to keep the conversation going. 
"Joel takes care of the carpentry and the invoicing. I'm more drywall and marketing," Tommy smiles wide and friendly at you. "We have a few other guys on the team that do the rest."
You already like Tommy. He's sweet and soft and judging by the way he's still holding Maria's hand across the table, he's very interested in her. 
"Must be nice to be your own bosses," you offer, hoping that if you're complimentary that Joel won't tell them about your incident outside. 
"Way better than the old subcontractor we had to work for before." Tommy takes a sip of beer, shaking his head. "That guy was such a dick."
Joel flashes Tommy a nod of agreement before looking distracted. You wonder if it's you doing it to him or the phone call he took right before this. When it's clear Joel won't be asking you anything, Tommy speaks up. 
"And what do you do again?"
"I work at a humane society here in Austin," you say between sips of your drink. "The job doesn't pay great but I love animals."
You trail off noting that Tommy looks frustrated with himself. "Shit, that's right. Maria said that."
"Don't beat yourself up," you laugh. "It's not exactly the most memorable job on the planet." 
Joel makes a little scoffing noise of agreement. As if his job is so much more enthralling. 
You hold in a biting comment as the waitress approaches your table and this time you see her name tag reads Felicia. She's a pretty girl with bright red hair who clearly has interest in the man across from you. 
"Bruschetta for the table?" Tommy asks with a glance in everyone's direction. You all nod because who would say no to bruschetta? 
Felicia's eyes linger on Joel even as she takes everyone else's orders for dinner. 
Good. She can go home with him for all you care. If anything she'd be doing you a favor. 
The silence is back when she's gone and you can't miss the strained look passing between Maria and Tommy. You don't blame them; this entire experience feels tense and uncomfortable. Maria is subtly nudging you in the ankle with her boot, flicking her eyes from you to Joel and back again. The meaning is clear: make an effort.
Only for Maria would you suffer through this dinner. Only for Maria would you try to engage the stone-faced man across from you. You take a deep breath before forcing a smile in Joel's direction 
"So, Joel, what do you do for fun?"
Joel looks as if he's getting the same amount of non-verbal grief from his brother because he straightens a bit, looking at you from under thick lashes. 
"I hunt."
You cringe. Not even inwardly, you full-out wince at that. Hunting has always been one of those things you've never seen the point to in modern society. Sure, when food had to be hunted or families starved it made sense. But nowadays? It seemed barbaric. 
And knowing what you do for a job, you're shocked at the lack of tact. Hobbies were a dime a dozen and that's the one he brings up? 
Asshole.
He seems to notice your recalcitrance because that same cool appraisal is back on his face. 
"And what do you enjoy?" 
You don't miss the sarcasm in his tone betraying that he really doesn't give a fuck, but decide to answer him sincerely regardless. 
"I read. I hike, I paint, I watch zombie movies."
Joel winces at that. "Can't stand 'em."
What a shock. Something else you don't have in common.
You almost feel like this entire date was devised just to make Tommy and Maria feel less guilty about being so in love and your feel a stab of resentment. Tommy seems to notice the tension building because he jumps in a little too eagerly. 
"Joel plays guitar. He's really good."
"And you sing," Maria adds, nudging you again before looking at Joel and Tommy. "Her voice is so beautiful." 
Both you and Joel answer almost simultaneously. "Not anymore."
Your eyes flick to one another in surprise before the meals are brought to the table by the far too peppy Felicia. 
"Careful," she tells Joel with a purr. "Your plate is very hot."
"Thanks," Joel says flashing her a quick smile. You note the dimple in his right cheek when he does. 
"What kind of animals come through your job?" Tommy asks, spearing a piece of chicken. 
"The usual, cats, dogs, small animals like hamsters, ferrets," you list these off with ease. "With some of the other sites in we house sheep and horses."
"That would've been our dream job as kids, huh Joel?" Tommy says with a faraway smile. "Being surrounded by animals, helping 'em."
Joel gives an agreeing grunt by way of a reply, chewing his dinner with a frown. It's so obvious that he would rather be anywhere but here. 
"It's not all dreamy," you answer, pretending Joel isn't even there. "I work at the main office so I barely get to see the animals. Most of the time I'm grant writing because we're so underfunded."
You frown, thinking about the difficulty of going into work knowing that you can't save every poor animal that crosses your path. 
"Plus after the flooding last month the office is trashed, but there was this grant for office restoration." You talk excitedly, knowing exactly what you'll do with the money. 
"Guaranteed that even if she gets the grant for the office reno's she'll put it all to the kennels they need," Maria says to Tommy but she's looking at you fondly. "That's why I love her."
You feel shy under the twin gazes of Tommy and Maria and you want to turn to Joel and scream: "See! I'm not as horrible at you thought! I'm not just a bitch who screams at people in parking lots!" but you have I'm feeling even if you did that he wouldn't believe you enough to care. 
"Well, when you do get the grant, I know a great contractor," Maria says with a wink in Tommy's direction. Tommy blushes slightly in response, offering a quick nod. 
"I'll definitely keep you in mind," you say to Tommy, stabbing your pasta with your fork. "Everything is so expensive to build; maybe you'll give me the 'Maria's best friend' discount."
Tommy and Maria laugh but Joel remains stone-faced. 
"What about you guys?" You address them both but its Tommy you look at. "I don't know much about what you do aside from restorations like Maria's place."
"We have a few bids in this month," Tommy says through a mouthful of his chicken. "Really hoping for this one build at a military site, but the lead on it is kind of a nightmare. We worked with her once before. Needs to have constant meetings about every little thing right, Joel?"
Tommy looks over at his older brother.
"It's a good gig," Joel nods, sliding a piece of bread through the marinara sauce on his plate. "Kathleen's usually a dog with a bone, but pretty harmless overall."
He goes back to his meal, eating quickly. Tommy looks dumbfounded by his brothers behaviour. 
Fuck this guy.
Yeah, you were rude to him in the parking lot. But that was just between the two of you. Now he's making it horrible for an entire table of people who are just trying their best to have a pleasant evening.
There's a faint buzzing and you watch Joel fumble for his phone, an old blackberry. He reads whose calling and excuses himself. You all watch as he leaves, heading for the exit.
"You sure he's not a drug dealer on the side?" You joke. "Last time I saw a guy react like that to a phone call he was selling weed outta his mom's basement."
Maria shoots you a grin. 
"It's Sarah," Tommy replies with a glance after his brother. "It's the first time Joel's left her with a sitter that's not me."
Sarah? A sitter? Wait, Joel has a kid? That miserable jerk found someone to willingly procreate with? You don't remember that part of the information Maria gave you in the car. 
"He's pretty protective of her," Tommy continues. "He's worried she may be a lot of work with new people."
With Joel as her father, you're hardly shocked. You imagine a little girl with serious dark eyes and a bad attitude. 
"Has he been divorced a long time?" Maria asks, and you realize she knows very little about Joel as well.
"Almost four years, but apart longer."
You nod and the three of you eat quietly, listening to the sound of bland Italian elevator music in the background. Joel reappears a short time later, sliding into his seat as Tommy looks over.
"Sarah okay?"
"She's fine," Joel nods, his voice low and rumbling. "She just couldn't find toad."
"She has a toad?" 
Joel's eyes slope over to you in irritation. "It's a stuffed animal."
"Oh."
"The sitter's a moron," Joel says to Tommy with a dark look. "Got her all hopped up on sugar."
"Connie isn't a moron, Joel," Tommy defends. "She takes care of her own mother practically full time."
You and Maria exchange a look as the brothers disagree.
"I shouldn't have left her alone with them." Joel is getting more agitated by the second; he's not even hearing what his brother is saying. "They have that old dog of theirs."
"She's fine, Joel." 
"I shouldn't have come," Joel mutters as he pulls some cash from his wallet and drops it on the table beside Tommy's plate. "This was such a bad idea. Such a waste of time. I gotta go."
You say nothing, but the blood is rising in your cheeks as you stare down at your plate. You want to believe that Joel is leaving solely because of his kid, but a large part of you knows she's just a convenient excuse to cut the evening short. 
"I'll see you later" Joel grumbles to Tommy before he's left the table without a backwards glance or a goodbye to you. 
As he strides off you want to laugh. This entire evening has been a joke from start to finish. Tommy is shooting Maria a sheepish look of silent apology. Obviously the evening hasn't gone how anyone anticipated it would. 
"I'm so sorry," Maria starts but you cut her off. 
"It's fine, just exhausted from work. Mind if I just take off?"
"Of course," Maria looks inconsolable. "Just take the car, Tommy will drop me off later."
You nod, holding out a twenty to her that she won't accept. You pocket it after a brief goodbye to Tommy you head to the entrance of the restaurant. You only exit when you're sure that Joel's truck is gone from the parking lot. 
/////// /////// /////// /////// /////// /////// /////// ///////
You pull up to the house, thankful the rain has stopped. Maria's place is on a quiet, suburban street with identical lawns and mailboxes. She doesn't do much with the exterior of the home, but it's a nice navy blue color with bright white shutters. It feels especially welcoming after your horrible dinner. 
You can't stop thinking about Joel. His miserable face and the way he practically ran out of the restaurant. You kick a rock angrily on your way up the sidewalk as you move towards the house. 
"You look like Bill after Bush got elected."
Your eyes dart up to house next to Maria's. The neighbor Frank is standing there on the front porch holding a cigarette elegantly between his fingers
His home is a similar in shape and color to Maria's, but that's where it ends. Where Maria's house is plain, this house is immaculately kept with bright flowers under the windows. The door is a lacquered black and a simple green wreath hangs in its upper center. It feels sophisticated and welcoming all at once. 
Frank gives you another sharp look, a smirk quirking his lips. 
The first day you'd arrived at Maria's, your eyes puffy and dressed in three-day-old sweats, he'd sent over a basket of goodies with a note that simply said: straight men ain't shit, your neighbors Frank and Bill. You'd liked him straightaway ever since. He's funny and charming and never seems to be in a bad mood.
Maria has nothing but good things to say about him. Best neighbor she's ever had, according to her. You often find them on either side of the fence that separates their lawns, gossiping about things in the neighborhood. Frank always seems happy, always seems upbeat. 
But right now you don't feel like being happy. You want to climb into bed and be sad. 
"Just a bad night," you frown, pulling your purse further up your shoulder and moving towards your place.
"Where I come from, bad days usually call for a drink." 
You've never been a drinker. You occasionally have beer with fish and chips in the summer. Hot chocolate with a splash of rum at Christmas. Sangria at dinner with a bad blind date. But you've been to Frank's before and you know that whatever they have will taste amazing. 
Frank's eyes are playful as he watches you pause. You shuffle back in his direction, a wry smile on your face before you glance at his door nervously.  
"Is Bill around?"
Dumb question. Bill is always around. Always frowning, always building something and muttering about elaborate anti-government theories you don't always follow but smile politely at. Bill makes you nervous, but then again, he makes everyone nervous. 
"Basement," Frank smiles beckoning you with a wave forward. "If he comes upstairs I'll handle him."
You don't need much more invitation than that. You bound up the stairs to his place, placing your bag at the entryway and following him into the kitchen. 
While the outside of Frank and Bill's place is beautiful, the inside is breathtaking. The color of the walls is a soft green, the wood stair railing boasts intricate details of florals and the piece de resistance is the gleaming black baby grand piano that sits in the living room. 
You think about pressing one of the ivory keys as you walk by but stop yourself. Everything in this home is so beautiful, so wonderfully cared for that the thought of moving any if it, even a fraction seems cruel. 
"Does Bill ever play for anyone?" 
"He does." Frank is in the kitchen bringing two large wineglasses down from the shelf. 
You roll your eyes. "You don't count."
"Rude," Frank says with an arched brow, but there's no power behind it. "If I get him liquored up enough he might be persuaded to play for an audience of more than just me."
You watch him pour the crimson liquid into the dual glasses before handing it to you. You follow him to the sitting room by the piano, your eyes glancing longingly at it. 
"It's a Beaujolais," Frank says sitting across from you as he swirls his glass with the finesse of a professional sommelier. "Very fruitful with a few smoky notes."
You twist the delicate stem between your fingertips and peer into the glass. "Looks . . . Red."
Frank laughs at your unrefined palette. He and Bill and wine connoisseurs, their home stocked with all manner of wine and other spirits. 
"You look especially dressed up," Frank offers warmly at the wine slips over your tastebuds. "Hot date?"
"If my date tonight is any indication of what's out there, I think I might just stay single forever."
"Was he really that bad?" Frank's handsome face is concerned. 
"He's a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake." 
Frank laughs loudly, his head tossed back. You smile around your wine glass, secretly pleased you could elicit such a response. 
"Was he cute at least?" 
"No," you answer a bit too quickly. 
Frank looks about to reply when the door to the basement is shoved open with a bang. 
A stout man with shoulder length brown hair and a scraggly beard looks around the room wildly blinking, as if his large blue eyes are adjusting to the lights. 
He's wearing an old grey sweatshirt, threadbare with holes in the collar. He's such a stark contrast to his husband whose facial hair is meticulously groomed, his patterned orange shirt pressed and smelling like expensive cologne. If you got close enough to Bill you know he'd smell like sweat and oil from whatever he's been working on downstairs. 
Bill approaches you both, his eyes sliding to your figure at the table and frowning, the crease between his brows deepening. You raise your hand in a small wave. 
"Evening, Bill."
"What are you doing here?" His eyes drift to your wineglass. "And is that my wine?"
"Manners," Frank warns with a teasing lilt. "And last time I checked, Bill, it was our wine." 
"Yours and mine. Not hers," Bill grumbles as he lumbers over to the kitchen to pour himself a glass. 
You assume he'll head back downstairs but he shuffles to the table and plops down next to Frank, the chair squeaking under him. Sitting next to each other they seem like such an odd pair, and yet when Frank absently moves hair behind Bill’s ear and they look at one another smiling softly, you think there has never been a couple better matched.
"Our girl here finally went out on a date," Frank says like a proud father. 
"A blind date," you explain with a wince. "And a bad one. Almost makes me remember Paul fondly."
At least Paul had never insulted and then walked out on you in the middle of a crowded restaurant. 
"Paul," Bill scoffs into his glass, shaking his head. "Idiot man-child."
You smile at this, appreciating Bills acerbic tone when it's directed at a common enemy. You take this moment of unexpected civility and indicate to the piano with your wineglass. 
"Hey Bill do you think you'd ever play for me?" 
Bill turns his hardened gaze on you. 
"Not a fucking chance."
461 notes · View notes
jishyucks · 1 year
Text
Me, You, and the View ‣ lmk
‣ pairing: mark lee x reader
‣ genre: FLUFF, f2l (in a way), 'our friends left us and it's just us left' trope, slice-of-life!au
‣ wc: 5.5k
‣ summary: after being ditched by your entire friend group on an out-of-town trip, you and your (not-so-close) friend Mark are left alone to explore the destination together
‣ warnings?: reader has a fear of heights, mark is very mark in this, he feeds the wildlife some fries
‣ an: something I wrote for no reason, I just found the idea cute,,, also I know those things aren't called gondolas but thts what we call those here where I live,,, anyways some of this stuff is taken straight from Mark's antics in that one 127 hit the states video (you'll know which one it is when you read); anyways thanks to my bestie @hoonieji for reading over my shite again <33 PLS ENJOY AS ALWAYS!
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The best word that could describe how you’re currently feeling is appalled.
Appalled because the friends with whom you planned this trip to the Rockies have decided to break off with their own significant others without you. Sure, you were still the supportive friend you always were with their SOs, but you thought that would be later and with a warning at least. Not first thing in the morning.
“I guess it’s just us, then?” 
Mark awkwardly stands at your side, hands stuffed deep into his hoodie. His hood’s falling off of his head as he turns to look at you. He quickly tugs it back up, but you notice that the hood gets tucked behind one ear. 
“Yeah,” you say, “I guess.” 
It’s not like you hated Mark (cause who in the world would hate Mark?)... it was more so that your relationship with said boy wasn’t as tightly knitted as it was with Donghyuck or Renjun. You weren’t sure you had anything in common with Mark, except for the friends you both shared. Other than that, from what you know, your interests were completely different. 
“Or we can just go around alone?” Mark quickly follows up. He laughs awkwardly and kicks at the dirt underneath his sneakers, “Whatever’s fine.”
From the tone in his voice, you can tell he’s slightly upset, “No, it’s fine! I just wasn’t expecting them to just… ditch us like that.” 
Mark laughs and nods. “Me too. Let’s go then?”
“Go where?” You questioned. Mark’s already a few steps in front of you, so you’re brought to jog lightly to catch up, “Have you been here before?” 
He shakes his head, “No, but I want to go up there.” He points at the top of a mountain, “I just know that the view’s going to be breathtaking.” You follow his finger and see a long trail of gondola lifts travelling up to the top. 
“Up there?” You don’t mention your fear of heights. Only because you’re not sure if Mark would make fun of you or not. You guess this is how your mind is conditioned after hanging around Donghyuck too much. 
He nods, eyes sparkling but you don’t notice, “Yeah! That’s what I’ve been looking forward to when Hyuck first mentioned the trip.” 
The smile on his face makes it harder for you to tell him that you’re afraid to go. You both have already been left alone by your friends, and now you don’t have the heart to leave him alone either. That, and the fact that you didn’t want to be alone in this unknown place. 
You’ll just close your eyes the whole way up. 
“It sounds fun,” you say, gulping, “Let’s go then.”
You and Mark reach the ticket booth, paying for a round-trip ticket before lining up at the bottom of the mountain. You’re surprised to see that the lines weren’t as long as your parents had warned you about, probably since it’s still early morning, so you and Mark reach the front of the line within five minutes. 
“Have you read the safety guidelines?” The worker points to a board standing a few yards away from him. You and Mark both reply with a simple ‘yes’ before slipping the man the first half of the ticket. He lets you through, reminding you to watch your step when getting onto the gondola. 
“I’m excited~” Mark comments, plopping down on the seat on the side that would consider him going forwards for the trip. You sit the opposite of him and laugh nervously. You immediately grip the edge of the seat as the door of the cart closes. 
“Me too.” You hope Mark doesn’t read through your expression, or hear the slight waver in your voice when you did speak. You’re lucky to see that his attention’s already diverted to the shrinking trees and people waiting for their turn to go on. Although there’s a comfortable silence that settles on top of both of you, you still feel like you both should still be saying something to fill that silence. You’re just not sure what. You leave it be.
The gondola was travelling faster than it looked from the ground, not to mention the fact that it swayed in the slightest every time it reached a connecting pole. You gulp and train your eyes on your shoes, praying that your eyes won’t do as little as flicker to the view outside of the gondola. If you were hooked up to those heart rate monitors at the hospital, you’d be admitted for how fast your heart was beating. You could feel it pounding against your chest. 
“Look at those mountains over there!” Mark finally speaks up. You’re compelled to look, but you know that if you did, you’d probably pass out from how high you were—not that you knew how high you and Mark currently were… it just felt high. 
“They look… cool,” you comment without moving your head. You trace your laces with your eyes, while your grip around the edge of the seat grew tighter (if that was even possible). 
“Oh c’mon, you didn’t even look,” Mark says lightheartedly. It doesn’t take him long to realize what’s happening, eyes reading your body language like a book. At first, he hesitates to speak up, not knowing if he’ll come off as weird if he does reach out, but there’s something in him that pushes him to do so, “Do you want to sit next to me?” 
You gulp again, eyes quickly moving to Mark and then back to your feet. Were you being that obvious?
“It’s better on this side,” he says, “You don’t notice how far we’ve gone.” 
Your heart warms slightly at the fact that Mark doesn’t even question you, nor does he joke about the distance between you and the ground. Instead, he simply just acts on handing over the comfort you’ve been needing ever since you stepped onto this damn lift. “Can I?” You say quietly, bringing your legs closer underneath you. 
Mark nods, then he realizes you couldn’t actually see him nod, “Of course, you can.” 
“O-okay,” you take a deep breath and reach out for the seat in front of you. It’s further than you initially thought it was, so you feel that you look rather ridiculous reaching out for nothing. 
And that’s when you feel hands grabbing yours. 
“Okay, take your time to stand up,” he says softly, “I’ll pull you to my side so you don’t need to look up.” For the second time today, Mark Lee makes your stomach twist in an unusual way. 
Or was it just because you were practically hundreds of feet off ground?
You finally build the courage to stand up. Mark waits for your cue to tug gently at your arms, guiding you to the now-empty seat next to him. 
There’s a sense of relief when you finally plop down beside Mark, your neck thanking you for finally extending it after what felt like hours of looking down. Mark was right when he said that you wouldn’t be able to tell how far off the ground you both were. He was also right about how pretty the mountains were. 
“Thanks,” you sighed quietly, “I felt like I was going to shit myself.” 
Mark laughs and offers a kind grin, “It’s nothing. Why didn’t you say anything before we got on?”
You echo his laugh and shrug, “You looked too happy and I didn’t want to say no.” Mark feels himself smile at your reply, letting it hang in the air before it dissolves with no problem. In all honesty, he wouldn’t have forced you to go if he knew you had a fear of heights, but he was glad he was there to give you a sense of comfort in this situation. 
The rest of the ride up to the top of the mountain, you train your eyes at what you believe was the end of the trip up. There was a large roofed area that attempted to hide the large gears turning the entire cable line. Just beneath them, you could see ant-sized humans getting off and on the gondolas. You couldn’t help but feel relief bloom in your chest. 
“I’m excited!” Mark says from beside you. He jumps a bit in his seat, kicking his legs up like a young child, “I can’t wait to go sightseeing up there.” 
The gondola’s brought closer and closer to the end by the second, and before you know it, you and Mark are hopping off of the cart with heavy huffs. You’re ecstatic to feel the ground beneath your feet. And although you’re metres and metres above sea level, ground is ground and you’ll accept anything solid and concrete.
“The air’s very…” you hear Mark take in a big fat whiff of air, “Clear.” The astonishment in his voice makes you giggle. 
You give him a look, “Isn’t all air clear?” You both begin to walk out of the roofed area and out to where many other tourists were. People were walking back and forth, some walking up man-made stairs to reach one of the highest points of the mountain. 
“Yes, but you know what I mean,” he waves his hand to dismiss the comment he’s made, stuffing his hands into his pockets when a breeze blows past you both, “Are you okay making our way up?” 
You nod, “As long as we’re not hanging above ground then I’m fine.” Mark takes this as a green light to start walking up the steps, letting you go first and following closely after. 
“When we get up there, I want to take pictures,” Mark says from behind you. You can tell he’s out of breath, but you don’t blame him because you’ve been going up stairs for a good five minutes. 
Just under ten minutes, you and Mark finally reach the last step and onto a divided platform at a high point of the mountain. There weren't as many people as you thought there’d be, probably because the top wasn’t the easiest to reach. 
Just as earlier, you take in the scene happening in front of you. People were leaning against the railings with big smiles as someone took pictures of them, others stood and just stared off at the view, which you still had yet to see. There were a few families taking breaks at the picnic tables set up in a gathering area in the middle and dogs doing the same next to them. 
This itself was already nice to see, you think. Now it was time for the actual view that you and Mark had travelled all the way up here for. It better be worth the fear. 
Mark takes the lead again, gesturing for you to follow him up to an empty portion of the railing. His hands were still stuffed deep into the pockets of his hoodie, the air up being cooler than it was at the bottom of the mountain. You can faintly see the huffs of air coming out of your and Mark’s mouths, but the temperature was bearable. Besides, by the end of the trip up, you’ll probably be sweating your ass off.
Once Mark reaches the railings, you hear him gasp before turning to you, urging you to hurry up just a bit. And when it was your turn to get to the rail, you know exactly why Mark’s gasp was not exaggerated. 
It was breathtaking. And you suppose that it quite literally sucked the air out of Mark. There was no way to describe the sight except for the fact that it looked like it was pulled straight from a painting. The winding river, narrowed as it reached the end of the vast horizon, the layers of mountains getting lighter the further they got, and the trees presenting shades of autumn that all looked fabricated. It was all too beautiful to be real. There was no way it wasn’t just some abnormally enlarged picture. But the movement of the water stream and the slight swaying of the trees prove you wrong.
“I just….” Mark starts, “Want to sit here forever.” He crosses his arms and rests them on top of the metal fence. Then he brings his head down to sit on top of his arms. He’s bent down in a seemingly uncomfortable way, but by the way, his face relaxes, you know he isn’t. 
“It’s definitely so refreshing to see compared to buildings and concrete and almost no trees back home,” you comment before mirroring the way he’s posed. 
“You’re right,” he agrees. Mark stands up straight and pulls his phone from his pocket, “Do you want pictures?” He doesn’t even wait for your answer to pull up the camera, standing back just far enough so that you could still see the view behind you. 
“Yes please.” You turn your back to him and tell him you want one like that first before actually facing the camera. 
Mark holds a thumb up before holding the camera steady to let you know that everything was fine. Your pose, the camera’s position, the view in the back, they were all fine. 
There was no problem at all, everything was completely fine. 
At least that’s what Mark believes before he finds himself frozen as he stares at your silhouette through his phone. At the back of his mind, he deeply questions why he’s only like this now, when he's had so many other opportunities to actually look at you. 
So, why now?
He has no idea why. 
“One… one…” he drags on, finger wavering over the white button on the screen. 
“Are you okay?” You turn to look at him and Mark sees this through his phone’s screen. 
“Sorry,” he apologizes quickly, “I just zoned out there for a second.” Mark watches you get back into position and he quickly snaps a few pictures. Once he believes he’s gotten good shots of you, he hands you his phone, “Can I get some too?”
Without another word, you grab his phone and take pictures of Mark in front of the pretty view. He pulls the most ridiculous poses, but you find it endearing. You grin and pull the phone back to look at the photos. “Send me these?”
“I will when we get back to the hotel,” he nods. You hand him his phone and the both of you take in the view one more time before leaving for another part of the peak. As you and Mark make your way to different points of the peak, you begin to learn that there will simply be no bad sights to see. The surrounding forest area all held its own special view and with each part you encounter, you and Mark take pictures with the desire to capture the moment as it was. 
It was nice, actually. 
You started the day thinking it wouldn’t reach the expectations you set yourself when you all planned this trip. But you stand corrected when you’re actually enjoying Mark’s company. Thinking about it, it would’ve been a mess with everyone here. At least with Mark, there’s a good balance between pictures, relaxation, and simply joking around. You shouldn’t have judged the day so quickly. 
“I’m hungry,” Mark announces, “Do you want to find something to eat up here?” 
“What, like acorns or something?” you joke. There was almost nothing but nature, but you do recall seeing a building located a walk’s length from the departure zone of the gondolas. 
Mark laughs, shaking his head, “I’m not in the mood for nuts right now. I was thinking ‘bout that building over there.” He points to the same building you were thinking about.
“Sure,” you nod, “I’m pretty thirsty, too.”
After grabbing replenishments, you and Mark decide that it was warm enough to sit outside on one of the empty benches. You’re lucky to even have grabbed one considering there were more people sightseeing. 
“I wonder what the others are doing.” You take the biggest gulp of water and then eat the food you settled on. There had been no texts or phone calls from your friends, nor did they let you know where they were going. 
Mark shrugs and munches on his own food, “I don’t know, but I bet they’re not having as much fun as us.” His shoulders touch yours slightly as he swings his feet underneath him. You didn’t even notice how close he was sitting to you. The contact tickles your shoulder. 
You laugh and joke, “You’re right. I bet you they’re walking in mud right now. Karma for ditching us.” At the corner of your eye, movement catches your attention and you immediately go to look at it. A yelp leaves your lips as you come face to face with a ground squirrel, curiosity getting the best of it as it approaches you and Mark. “Shit, that scared me!”
Mark gasps and starts making noises to attract it. “It’s so cute!” He pulls out a French fry from his meal and stands up to face it, waddling back and forth and mirroring the direction the squirrel was moving, “Hey there!” Then he proceeds to make noises that you believe aren’t even squirrel noises. 
This is too cute. You hastily fish your phone out from your pocket and pull up the camera app, recording as much of the interaction as you can. 
Mark goes on for an embarrassingly long amount of time before he finally squats down to the animal and looks back at you, “You think it likes fries?”
“Mark, I don’t think we should feed wildlife,” you say seriously, but you’re laughing, only because Mark’s being adorable and you can’t handle it. His eyes give off the same look a kid would have after discovering something exciting. Who would have thought a ground squirrel would have this much of an effect on a grown man?
“Just one won’t hurt, right?” Mark questions. He sticks his hand out and waits for the squirrel to take it, “I feel bad. It looks hungry.” The ground squirrel snatches it out of Mark’s fingers, acquiring the fried potato strip before jetting off. 
“Man, it just wanted food.” Mark’s sulky. He stands up and turns to you, “I should’ve kno–“ He cuts himself off before his eyes widen. 
“Mark, are you good?” 
The boy bursts out into laughter, hand clutching his stomach. 
“Mark?” You’re utterly confused, almost feeling left out despite it only being between him and you. 
He reaches for your shoulders and turns you to look behind you, “Look!”
You let him turn you and you see why he’s laughing. On a big, white board that’s stuck strategically in the dirt, was a sign that states DO NOT FEED WILDLIFE. 
By the time you and Mark have explored a majority of the landmark, you’re both stumbling back and forth from the soreness of your feet. It’s funny because as you’re watching Mark walk, you can see that he can barely even pick his feet up, the back of his sneakers dragging roughly against the gravel. You’re knees feel like buckling from how tired they were from the semi-hiking you’ve been doing the entire day. 
“Let’s rest,” you say. It wasn’t even a suggestion or a question. If you kept walking, you felt like your legs were going to betray you and you’ll be tumbling down the stairs. 
“I was waiting for you to say,” Mark huffed, hand to the chest. He points to an empty bench right by a sightseeing telescope.
You give him a look, “Why didn’t you just say? What if I never said anything?”
He shrugs and plops down onto the bench, “I didn’t want to hold you back from exploring.” 
“And if something happens to you, then what?” your eyes narrow, but the tone in your voice is light. You take the empty spot next to him and slump down so that your head is able to rest against the bench’s backrest. You extend your legs forward and close your eyes. 
“Then you’d have to carry me down this mountain,” Mark replies wittily. 
You think about it as if he were being serious, “Okay, then I’ll be charging by the hour.” 
Mark laughs and notices that you have your eyes closed, “If you want to nap for a bit, you can go ahead. I’ll keep watch.” 
You smile softly and thank him. Oddly enough, you never saw Mark as a thoughtful guy. Sure, you knew he was a good guy, but it was just worth pointing out that he has genuinely good intent behind everything he says or does.
When you hear Mark stop kicking his feet against the gravel, you can’t help but take a peek to see what he’s up to. 
You open one eye and turn your head in his direction, but you’re only met with Mark staring down at his phone. His fingers fly across the screen for a good minute. You wonder who he’s texting. 
“Is it one of the others?”
Mark jumps slightly at your voice, head darting towards your direction, “Huh?”
“Whoever you’re texting.”
“Oh, I’m not texting any of them,” Mark says sheepishly. He hesitates for a moment before opting to turn his phone to you, showing you whatever he’s doing. The notes app stares back at you and there are words written in verses. 
“You write?” 
He nods, “Well, sorta… just random stuff. It’s how I like to express myself… Do you want to read it?” You realize how special this probably was to him. He’s sharing with you things he’s written that reflect his own emotions. 
“I’d love to.” You sit up as he hands you his phone. 
Then you read it:
“Winding rivers predictably change unpredictably;
Leaves turn hues that contrast the
Weather is ever-changing but foretold;
Time remains constant, but
no knowledge of what the future will bring;”
“I-it’s still a work in progress and I don’t know what direction I’m headed but—”
“So, living in the now is what’s important,” you say, “At least that’s how I interpret it.”
Mark blinks at you in astonishment. No one he’s shown his written verses to has ever tried to comprehend it, nor did they even appreciate it (besides his English professor, obviously). So when you actually take your time to read it, understand it, and offer your own meaning behind his words, he can’t help but feel his heart skip a beat just for you. 
“That’s—”
Mark’s phone rings, interrupting him mid-sentence. 
“Oh, it’s Donghyuck.” He quickly answers it and brings the phone up to his ear, excusing himself.
The two of them have a short conversation with the usual back and forth. Then it dies down after a couple of minutes. “Maybe fifteen minutes? Give or take,” Mark estimates, “But you guys can start thinking before we get there… yeah… okay sounds good I think… see you!”
“What’d he say?” You ask, standing to the side of Mark.
“That they want to meet up for dinner,” Mark says, “He says they’re where we were this morning.” Mark stuffs his phone into his pocket and claps his hands together. He brings himself to stand at the railing, breathing it all in. “Goodbye, view.”
You laugh to yourself at Mark and you play along, “We’ll miss you!” It’s funny because you guys are going to be here for another day. It’s a high possibility you’ll be back tomorrow, even if it were for a short while. 
Mark looks over at you and smiles, “Let’s not keep the others waiting.” 
Although you let Mark lead the way, he still ends up slowing his pace to walk next to you. He’s telling you that it would be better if you sat in the same spot as you did this morning on the gondola, “And I’ll cover your eyes if you get scared.” 
You glare at him playfully and furrow your brows, “I can close my own eyes, you know.” 
Mark laughs, rolling his eyes, “Yeah but I don’t know, it’s my duty or something since I’m on there with you.” You freeze for a moment, causing the guy to walk a few steps ahead of you. Was he just flirting with you or was it Mark just being… Mark? Mark has always been the type to say things that surfaced from his thoughts. 
You shake your head and jog to keep up with him, “Don’t worry about me. I don’t think I’ll freak out this time anyways. It’s just good knowing you’re there just in case, though.” Nudging him playfully, you send him a small smile of reassurance. 
“I’m honoured,” Mark gasps, “But I’m serious, if you feel scared anytime during the ride down, just tell me.” 
“I will.”
°•. ✿ .•°
Your eyes are close to shutting when you feel a rough tug at your duvet. 
“What do you want, Yeri,” you groan, throwing your body around to face her. The lamp on her side of the two-bed room is still turned on and you can’t help but feel blinded when you accidentally look straight at it. Yeri’s wearing a face mask that makes her look like a ghost. You can’t even recall when she even stood up to put it on, nor did you hear her unwrap one. 
“Are you mad at me?” She attempts to pout but the mask stops her from any sort of facial expression, “I promise you we didn’t plan to ditch you but–”
“I’m not mad, I’m just tired,” you sit up, clearly understanding that Yeri wants to have a conversation. The sleeve of your oversized shirt falls off one shoulder and you quickly pull it back up. Then, you lean forward towards your own lap and flick it on. 
“Okay good!” Yeri exclaims, “Because I have a question that I’ve been meaning to ask you ever since dinner ended but Mark was with us.” Although your best friend still can’t pull the usual expressions she usually makes, you can tell which one she’s pulled off her rack just by the look in her eyes.
Your brow quirks at the mention of Mark, “Why would it matter if Mark was there or not?” 
“I wanted to ask you how it went with him.” Yeri grins slightly through her mask, eyes blinking like in those cartoons. She pulls her legs up and crosses them, bouncing on her bed. 
“What do you even mean?”
“You and Mark were alone,” she points out, “When was the last time he and you were alone? Never. You guys would look cute together, you know?” 
You look at her like she was crazy, knowing exactly what she was implying (though she wasn’t even trying to be subtle), but you try your best to ignore it, “To be honest it was actually fun.” And you’re not lying. You tell Yeri everything, telling her about the trip up to the mountains, the picture-taking, seeing ground squirrels, the trip down—everything. By the looks on Yeri’s face, you can tell she’s overanalyzing everything (exactly how a best friend would). 
“If you say anything about Mark and feelings, I will actually kick you right now,” you show her your foot, “I don’t like Mark like that.” You think about what you said in your head. You’re almost completely sure you don’t have any underlying feelings for Mark, but after today, you can’t help but think about the possibility. In childish terms, it wasn’t gross actually having feelings for Mark, it was just odd because you never would think you’d have these feelings, especially since you both weren’t considered close among your friend group. But after your day with him and seeing what it was like being with him, you wouldn’t oppose any feelings if they did come up. 
Yeri gives you a look that involved her having to tilt one side of her face closer to you. She looked like that Megamind ‘no bitches’ meme. You raise your foot in threat, “Yeri, don’t look at me like that.” 
“I’m just making sure,” she shrugs, backing up. 
There’s a knock at the door before you’re even able to reply. You can already guess it’s one of the others. There was no way an employee would willingly serve guests at this ungodly hour. Being closer to the door, an unspoken rule brings you up to your feet to open it, leaving Yeri at her bed (she doesn’t complain). 
You look through the peephole and see Donghyuck standing there, Mark trying to drag the younger boy back to their own room. You can see Mark saying something in panic but Hyuck’s choosing to ignore him, eyes staring intently at the door. You open it. 
“Go sleep, guys.” 
“Oh, great! Y/N, you answered it,” Donghyuck exclaims. Mark’s now attempting to put him in a chokehold, roughly pulling him back. Donghyuck doesn’t budge. It seems that he has superhuman strength whenever he chooses. 
“Huh? What do yo—”
“What did you do to him?” Donghyuck grabs Mark by the wrist and points to him. You’re not even sure why you’re not laughing at this point. Donghyuck looks dead serious and Mark looks like he’s going to explode out of stress. It was probably the curiosity keeping you from bursting. 
“What do you mean?” 
“You broke him,” Donghyuck replies as if it still made sense. Fortunately, he keeps going without question, “I was trying to talk to him, but he wasn’t even listening. You know why? He was staring at his phone like this.” Donghyuck freezes and pretends to gawk at his phone. At this point, Mark’s trying to cover his mouth. 
“And why am I to blame?”
When Mark realizes what’s about to be said, he stops restraining Donghyuck and retreats back down the direction of their room. In another universe, his feet would leave tracks of fire. 
Donghyuck’s posture sags and he groans, “The picture was of you!” 
You freeze. “Me?” 
“Her!?” Yeri gasps running to the door, “Mark come back here!” 
You look down the hall and Mark’s frozen as if you were all playing a game of red light, green light. There was no way he was going to turn back. He was scared to move. But he knew he was done for. 
Meanwhile, your heart’s beating out of your chest because this was news to you. You’re not sure how to react.
“Mark Lee!” Yeri calls. You feel bad for the other guests in the other rooms because the four of you are disrupting the hell out of their sleep. You wonder if the others can hear this going down, “Come back here, or I’m telling auntie you scratched her car!”
Mark’s back at Donghyuck’s side in an instant, but he’s avoiding all possible eye contact with you. Donghyuck’s just laughing at him, bringing his cheeks between his thumb and his index finger. 
“Care to explain?” Yeri pushes on, eyes burning holes through Mark’s face. At the back of her mind, she knows that her mask is long overdue, but she doesn’t care about that right now. She wants to know what’s up with Mr. Lee. 
“Youlookedreallyprettyinthepicture,” Mark mumbles, eyes glued to the old hotel carpet. 
Donghyuck and Yeri, who seemed more invested in this than you were, looked at him and threw him a slap, “Speak clearly!” 
“I… um…” Mark’s eyes flicker to his best friend and to you, and then to Yeri, and then back to you before settling to its home staring at the carpet, “Can I talk to Y/N alone?”
Yeri immediately drags Donghyuck into the room, pushing you out in the process. Then, before you know it, the door is shut and you’re alone with Mark in this quiet hallway. 
“I wanted to say how I really enjoyed today,” he says quietly. Mark can feel his chest heat up, cheeks following not long after, “And… I was staring at the picture because you looked… really pretty in it.” Mark feels like bolting off, but the deed was halfway done. That, and his feet feel like they’ve been anchored to the floor underneath him. 
“Wow… umm, thank you?” you gulp, “But I enjoyed today, too. So much that I was actually a bit bummed when we had to leave…” 
Mark’s confidence level rises just a little bit, hearing that you were somehow reciprocating all of this, “When… when we get back home, do you want to go on a… date with me?”
“A date?”
“I-I mean it can be a friendly date if you want, or a date-date if that’s what you want too,” Mark rambles, “I’m okay with what you want. But my question was about a date…date.”
“Ya! Mark Lee! At least make this bearable to watch!” you hear Donghyuck through the door. 
“Y/N answer him already, my neck is hurting!” Yeri calls after. 
You quickly shoot a glare at the peephole and turn back to Mark, who is now a crimson shade of red, “I would love to go on a date with you, actually. A date-date.” 
Mark’s eyes light up at your response, “Really?”
“Yes really.”
Behind the door, you hear Donghyuck and Yeri cheer, followed by slaps that you could guess were a bunch of high-fives. 
They were just as ecstatic as Mark was.
Why?
Because Operation: Mountain Trip was a success. 
1K notes · View notes
sokkadora · 3 months
Text
bad for business — mizu x fem!reader
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summary: she’s good for my heart, but she’s bad for business!
a/n: first fic of the year :3 also remember to pirate this show because the creators are violent zionists!!!
wc: 590
warning(s): fluff, angst, mizu being sad :<
from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸
requests are open!
︿︿︿︿︿︿ ✎ᝰ . . . .
Mizu stared blankly at the wall on the other side of the room from your shared bed, wishing that her mind could be half as empty as her expression.
She sighed deeply and turned her head to look to you— your bare back turned to her, skin almost glistening in the moonlight emitting from the window as your form rose and fell with slow and steady breaths. A far cry from your condition before the both of you had left for London.
She reached over and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, her finger brushing against the scar on your cheek. She almost smiled at the memory of how it got there— accidentally slicing your cheek while teaching you to duel with a sword. It was your bad in her defense; you just had to use those stupid beautiful eyes on her.
Sighing, she shifted her focus back to the wooden walls of the ship, and tried to push the images of you on the brink of death from her mind.
The two of you had finally caught up with Fowler, but you’d split up and ending up getting wounded badly by the man before she’d found the both of you. As if she didn’t have enough of a reason to hate him.
Bruised ribs, a concussion, and a stab wound from an arrow of your own crafting through your stomach were not a fun combination to experience. So she’d been told by you, at least.
She wished she’d just been cruel enough to leave you behind. Let you freeze to death or get eaten by wolves, so she didn’t have to feel this guilt over having the only person she gives a shit about get wounded for the sake of her revenge trip.
Love was a death trap.
You’d have thought after Mikio, that would’ve been jammed through her damn skull. But then she met you.
The only thing that gave her a reason to make it out of the other side of this mission.
Maybe she should send you on the next boat back to Japan. Yeah; once they landed in London, she’d do anything she had to in order to get you back home and away from her.
A soft grunt pulled her from her head, slowly turning her head towards you as you turned your head back and hummed.
“Hey,” She whispers through the dark, squinting as you started turning to face her while laying on your right side. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t,” You rasped, eyes still closed as you reached out for her and hugged her forearm to your chest. “I felt like you weren’t here and got worried.” You grumbled against her arm, letting out a nearly blissful sigh.
She falls silent, the guilt for even thinking— fathoming the thought to leave you behind started to gnaw at her now.
She calls your name softly, causing you to hum through your sleepiness curiously.
“I…” She swallows, throat bobbing. “I love you.”
You respond, with zero hesitation. She always believed she was an impossible to love; she was an Onryō, a demon, a godforsaken woman who had been cursed to live a life her on this miserable world…
“I love you too.” You smile against her arm, “So much.”
And you loved her like it was breathing.
She couldn’t leave you behind.
She watches you slip under the heavenly covers of sleep with a smile on your lips before ripping her gaze away from you again.
“Shit.”
231 notes · View notes
pennylanefics · 3 months
Text
The Letter - Laurie Laurence
a/n: this was requested by @riordanness thank you so much!!! i instantly loved this idea the second i read it. i also tried a slightly different format, writing in third person rather than second because i've felt as though i've been struggling with that lately, but i hope you enjoy!
summary: refer to this ask
word count: 7.5k (this is a long one...kind of got carried away)
warnings - mainly fluff, slight angst, probably out of time period here and there, reader uses she/her pronouns
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Falling for your best friend is never an easy thing to go through. Especially when the said best friend is Theodore Laurence.
Laurie and (Y/N) have been friends ever since they were young, being neighbors with each other allowed them to play together every single day during the summer that they were available to, and even during the school year, they’d switch whose house they played at every few days.
They grew up together, experienced big life changes alongside one another, gained knowledge and different skills, and of course, grew into their own personalities. They did everything they could together any chance they could get.
So of course it was inevitable that either one or both would fall in love. And that’s what happened.
On the days where (Y/N) and Laurie would go ice skating on the lake behind her house, her hand tightly in his as he guides her along the outside of the frozen water, their skates clinking as they slice the bit of powder on top of the ice, all she could think of was their hands entwined, how soft his skin is.
On the nights after a full day of ice skating and playing around in the snow, they would go into (Y/N)’s house, where her mother was waiting with two cups of hot cocoa and a couple blankets, they’d curl up and sit in front of the fireplace, giggling, talking about all the fun that they had and making plans for the following day.
On the nights where she was scared to sleep alone, she’d signal across the way to where she knew his room was, he would sneak out of his grandfather’s house and over to hers, and sit on the floor beside her bed and talk to her, or even crawl into her bed with her and just cradle her, holding her as close as he could.
During the moments of doubt where Laurie would wonder if he’d ever be good enough to be what his grandfather expects from him and wants him to be, (Y/N) was there to comfort him and give him any sort of advice she could, holding him as he cried and wiping his tears away with her thumbs, telling jokes to cheer him up.
During the sleepless nights that (Y/N) dealt with, her writing keeping her up, along with the fleeting moments of self-criticism, Laurie was right there by her side, refilling her glass of water and making sure she was taking enough drinks, reassuring her, and even reading what she has written for her.
Both of them unknowingly began to slowly fall in love, those simple moments beginning to mean so much to each of them, special and close to their hearts. However, the yearning was starting to get too much for (Y/N). 
Every time she saw Laurie, all she wanted to do was jump into his arms and kiss him sweetly, blabbering out how much she loves him in a deeper sense than just in a best friend way. It was painful, and she couldn’t do anything about it. Until she came to the conclusion on what to do.
It was a beautiful spring day, the flowers were beginning to bloom bright and beautiful colors, the green leaves were glowing bright after a couple rainy days. (Y/N) and her mother were sitting in the kitchen, enjoying lunch, when Laurie knocks on their door. Her mom answers before coming back with a smile on her face.
“Hey,” Laurie greets (Y/N), a simple white puffy shirt adorning his body, the sleeves buttoned up all the way to his wrists, an unusual sight. “Would you want to join me for a walk today?”
(Y/N)’s expression faltered and she sets her sandwich down. She quickly tries to wrack her brain for some semblance of an excuse.
“Um, I wanted to stay in and get a chapter of my story done,” she says, averting her eyes to her plate, a tell-tale sign she was lying. She had finished that chapter last night, but she couldn’t let him know that.
His expression falters slightly upon hearing her rejection, and he clears his throat awkwardly.
“Oh, okay…um…” He isn’t entirely sure what else to say. She never turns down a walk with him, something was up. “Is everything alright?”
(Y/N) looks up and sighs, hating the hurt and broken look on his face, but she couldn’t do this anymore.
“Yeah, everything is okay. I’m stressed over this one scene and need to lock myself away for now.”
Every time from then on, when Laurie asks her to go on a walk, invites her over for dinner, asks her to come over, anything, it’s met with an excuse.
“I’m feeling rather tired today, I spent all night writing.”
“I’m meeting a friend in town today, I haven’t seen her in a while.”
“I have to deliver something to a family friend.”
Laurie started to catch on to all these excuses, and as time went on, it had been over a month since the two of them had even spent time with one another. It came to a point where Laurie sat in his room, watching her house like a hawk most days, but one day, noticed her blinds were closed. For some reason, this stung his heart more than he expected it to.
Until one day, things change.
Up in her room, (Y/N) hears her mother and father call for her to come downstairs. Groaning, she throws her book down and trudges down the wooden stairs, creaking underneath her socked feet. That’s when she sees Laurie, and she pauses.
Laurie’s heart aches in his chest at the sight, but he puts on a smile on his face.
“Laurie was just telling us some big news and we thought you might want to hear as well,” her mother beams, reaching out for her to join them in the living room. 
(Y/N) slowly walks over to them, taking a deep breath, and offers Laurie a soft grin. He nods a greeting to her and clasps his hands together.
“I wanted to inform you all that I will be heading off to Europe at the end of the week,” he states very strongly, like there was nothing that was going to change his mind. “My grandfather thinks it may serve me well. I will be in France for most of the time, but I will be traveling around, exploring, seeing the world.”
“I think that sounds like it would be a wonderful time, Laurie,” her mother tells him, excitedly hugging him. He hugs her back and his smile widens a little, moving on to shake (Y/N)’s father’s hand.
However, (Y/N) remained in her spot, unable to move, paralyzed with this new information that the man she loves is going away. But then her mind begins to race. Was this her fault? Even though Laurie was grinning at her, she could tell there was a deeper, more painful look he was hiding deep down. 
“Do I get a hug goodbye?” He jokes, reaching out for her, trying to break the obvious tension between them. (Y/N) finally sighs and steps forward right into his arms, tightly wrapping hers around his torso. His hands embrace her back, his large, warm hands bringing her back to the nights where he’d hold her as she fell asleep, making sure she didn’t fall off the bed or couch.
Tears prickle (Y/N)’s eyes the longer their hug lingers, so much that she has to pull away to keep herself from choking up and completely sobbing in his arms.
“I hope you have the best time,” she whispers, stifling a cry that was close to being released. She avoids eye contact with him as she steps back to where she was standing before. The tension between the two of them returns as Laurie stares at her, but she doesn’t even glance at him.
Laurie nods his head and bids a goodbye to the three of them once more before walking out of the house and back to his grandfather’s.
“What was that about? You two used to be so close,” (Y/N)’s father chimes in as soon as the front door clicks shut. Both her parents stare at her, waiting for an answer, but she’s unable to say anything. Instead. she takes off running upstairs and back to her room, where she finally breaks down crying into her pillow.
It was finally happening. Laurie was going away for who knows how long, he was most likely going to meet a beautiful French woman and marry her as soon as he could. (Y/N) starts internally beating herself up over it.
I should’ve told him.
I should have made a move.
I shouldn’t have let him walk away from me so easily.
I should have ran after him as soon as he walked out of the door, begging for him to stay.
The remainder of the night, (Y/N) stayed in her room, spending her time staring at the wall and reading small excerpts from the book she was currently reading. Staring out her window after having finally opened the curtain, she notices Laurie’s bedroom was still filled with light, once it was dark enough out to really stand out.
Getting some ounce of courage, she stands up from her bed and grabs a blank sheet of paper and her quill, walking back over to her desk and taking a seat. She dips the quill into the ink and gets to writing, her tongue poking out with concentration, stealing glances at Laurie’s window here and there, getting out all of her thoughts that she was dying to say to him.
After a while of thinking and writing, scratching things out and even starting completely over a few times, she looks over the final version of the letter and smiles to herself. Exhaustion takes over her so she sets the letter out to dry, sets her quill back in it’s little container, and heads back over to her bed to crawl under the covers.
The following days, (Y/N) avoids pretty much everyone, either staying in her room or another part of the house whenever her parents were out. She didn’t want to see anyone but Laurie, in hopes that maybe, if he comes over to see her one last time, she can take her chance.
But no.
Laurie left quietly in the morning, far before anyone else was awake, so early that the only time she realized he was gone was later that night, after the sun had set and the night was calm, did she notice the absence of candlelight coming from his room.
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As the months go by, (Y/N) realizes the grave mistake she made in withdrawing herself from Laurie. Life was miserable without him, she pined for their late night talks surrounded by her chaptered work and other stories, she wished he could hold her to sleep one more time, but that was all gone.
He was somewhere off in Europe, and she was stuck in Concord. This is her new life, having to live with the fact that she yearned and longed for his love, but she missed her chance and screwed up entirely.
Every night before she went to bed, she’d scan over the letter just to make sure she didn’t leave anything she wanted to say out, and every night, she would end up changing something. Whether that was a single word, or adding something. It got so much that she had to start with yet another piece of paper at some point.
And every time, she wrote Laurie’s name on the front with such care and love, and would smile when it was finished and dried. She would repeat the same process, folding it carefully, and sealing it with his favorite color wax and her personal stamp, as well as some dried flowers.
This time it was going to stay sealed, she promised herself that and was planning on keeping it.
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“How are things for you, Miss (Y/N)?” Mr. Laurence asks her after stepping out of his house.
Since it was a beautiful spring day, she was reading underneath the tree right on the edge of her family’s property, and the older gentleman was leaving to take his daily walk.
“Things are going okay, Mr. Laurence. I got a job at the local library stocking books and that has taken up a lot of my time.” He smiles at her and comes to a stop in front of her.
“And you’re still working on that story of yours? Ready to publish it?” (Y/N) chuckles softly and looks down at her hands, her heart racing in her chest.
“Not exactly. I have put that on hold for the time being,” her shoulders fall a little, and Mr. Laurence sighs a little.
“In due time, you’ll pick it back up,” he smiles down at her before he walks off in the direction he usually walks, leaving (Y/N) alone once more. She tries to go back to reading, but it’s no use. Her mind is filled with thoughts now, remembering why she stopped writing and how she couldn’t exactly tell Mr. Laurence, because it had to do with his grandson. 
She decides to head back to the house for some lunch, she enjoys a sandwich made by her mother on the back porch, taking a seat on the porch swing and looking out at the beautiful lake, surrounded by weeping willows blooming beautifully in the spring weather, as well as wildflowers that her and Laurie plant with her mom every year.
This year, it was just the two of them, and (Y/N) didn’t like it at all. Laurie brought a different sense of fun to it, he was constantly cracking jokes or telling stories, now the only noise was her mother humming some tune or telling her about a family member.
Life was different, and all (Y/N) wanted was Laurie back.
To her surprise, that day came two years later. 
By now, (Y/N) was in her early twenties and preparing for life as a writer, attempting to establish her name, albeit not easily, the owner of the bookshop she works at was more than happy to lend her stories out, even if they aren’t binded properly or fully complete. She loved getting to connect with people who read her work and had opinions or even constructive criticisms.
Life was finally looking up for her, until everything turned upside down once more.
Fall had come around this time of the year, the leaves changing colors to beautiful oranges, reds, and yellows, the crisp, cool air settling over the northeast and bringing a sense of change. Perfect for the change that was coming.
It was very early in the morning, the sun just barely peaking over the horizon, casting the world in a stunning, orange glow, a sunset like any other. (Y/N) was still fast asleep in her bed, her face smushed against the rather thin pillow, her hair sprawled out all over.
Since she was asleep, she didn’t hear a knock on the door, or her mother answer it and let Laurie in, nor did she even hear his attempt at trying to be quiet walking up the stairs and right to her room. Nor did she realize that Laurie walks in, expecting her to be up and about, holed up as he imagined she would be.
Upon seeing that she was still asleep, he feels awkward for intruding. Admiring her for a moment, he can’t help the smile that stretches across his lips. As he goes to leave, he sees a piece of paper with his name neatly printed on it.
His eyebrows furrow and he takes one step and picks the letter up. His finger runs along the smooth paper that his name is written on before turning it over and tracing the royal purple wax seal, being mindful of the fragile flowers adorning it as well.
He wonders what’s written inside, if he were to crack the wax seal and read it, what would he find? Was it a birthday card? A letter detailing how much she hated him? Something she wanted to tell him, like how she found a lover and was to be married in the coming months?
Whatever was in the letter, he decided against breaking the seal and snooping. Carefully, he backs out of the room and makes his way back downstairs to where (Y/N)’s mother begins making breakfast.
As the food starts to come together and the smell wafts through the house, (Y/N) is awoken by the comforting smell of crackling bacon, scrambled eggs, and fluffy pancakes, her favorite. She bolts out of bed and throws on her morning overcoat, something she brings out for chillier fall and winter mornings like today, and sprints downstairs.
But to her surprise, she finds Laurie sitting there at the kitchen table, while her mother stood at the stove, continuing to cook the bacon and flip the pancakes.
“Laurie?!” She shrieks, her hands flying up to her mouth in shock. Laurie can’t help the wide smile that spreads across his face, hearing her voice again and seeing her face, noticing how much she’s grown since the last time he saw her.
Standing up, he opens his arms and within seconds, she leaps into them, wrapping hers around his neck. He tightly holds her close to him, nuzzling his face in her neck and inhaling her scent that he fell asleep to so many nights.
“I missed you,” he whispers into her shoulder, his eyes screwed shut as he tries to keep himself from crying. 
The last few times they saw each other were very tense and not the way he wanted to really end things, so the fact that she was here, in his arms no less, it meant the world to him. And he didn’t want to let go just yet.
“I missed you, too,” she whispers right back, not a second thought to her words. 
Just as she pulled away, her mother just finished cooking the food, and set the last bit of pancakes on the table next to them. 
“Enjoy guys. I will be going around delivering the pies I made last night, so I’ll be back later in the afternoon.” The two bid (Y/N)’s mother goodbye and they take a seat nex to each other at the table, (Y/N) in her usual spot and Laurie at the head of the table, just to her right.
“So, how was Europe?” (Y/N) asks, grabbing a couple pancakes and pouring some syrup over them, also scooping up some eggs and plating them. Laurie does the same for his own plate, grabbing the fork and knife set off to the side.
“It was great, very beautiful. I had a little place in southern France that my grandfather owns, so that’s where I stayed overall. But I traveled all over, to Paris, Italy, Germany, Switzerland.” She raises her eyebrows and grins, taking a bite of her food.
“They must have been gorgeous sites. Did you learn Italian or German?” Laurie smiles to himself and gazes longingly into her eyes.
“Penso che tu sia la ragazza più bella che abbia mai conosciuto,” he gracefully speaks, chuckling softly at her confused expression.
I think you are the most beautiful girl I have ever met.
“I have no idea what you said, but it sounded so elegant,” she swoons a little, melting at the smile he returns, a blush beginning to cover his cheeks.
“Well, looks like you’ll have to learn Italian to figure it out,” he winks before taking another bite from his stack of pancakes. A comfortable silence hangs in the air for a moment as they enjoy the food in front of them, both feeling content and at peace with their reunion.
“Um, I was wondering if you’d…if you would like to take a walk with me? Like old times?” Laurie asks, a little scared to considering all the past few times she turned him down. But to his surprise, she smiles and eagerly nods her head.
“I would love that, Laurie. I want to show you this little deer family that sits tucked away in that little hideaway we cut out in the twigs and brush along the pathway a mile or so down.”
“Oh yeah! The hideout we made to escape our parents because we didn’t want to be away from each other. I remember the day we made that.”
“Me too. Every time I walk past it, it makes me smile.”
Laurie has the urge to reach out and take her hand, it’s so close to his resting on the table, so much that he can feel the warmth radiating from her skin, and it drives him mad. But he stays put, not wanting to overstep any boundaries or ruin things once again.
After they both finish breakfast and a bit more small talk, (Y/N) heads upstairs to change into a daytime dress, something simple but slightly thicker than her summer clothes, a nice cream color of the skirt and a natural brown top; it compliments her skin tone very well, and she has always felt beautiful in this specific piece.
Once she is dressed and her shoes are tied, her eyes drift to the letter she wrote and addressed to Laurie, who is just downstairs at this point in time. Picking it up, she admires her own handwriting and the wax seal, something she’s done for months at this point, and sighs, wondering if she’ll have the guts to give it to him sometime today. Quickly, she shoves it into the pocket of her dress and dashes back out of the room and down the stairs.
“Ready,” she smiles at Laurie, guiding him out of her house and onto the trail that they used to walk. 
It was just like old times, like nothing has changed and like no time has passed. They laughed like they used to, they shared story after story that happened during the time they were gone, Laurie detailing his daytime adventures of riding a carriage through the French countryside, to (Y/N) describing her work at the library and giving him the gossip of well-known people within the city of Concord.
(Y/N) was smiling so much that her cheeks were starting to hurt; but it was a feeling she welcomed, and a feeling that she could never get tired of. Laurie is in the same boat, a light in his eyes that has been dimmed for years at this point, and she could tell.
As the time went by, the wind started to pick up, cooling off the atmosphere from the blinding sun, and (Y/N) just so happened to forget her overcoat, not thinking it was going to be chilly at all. But, since Laurie is so in tune with her, he immediately knows something is wrong.
“Here,” he pauses his steps to remove his coat. Raising his eyebrows, he reaches out towards (Y/N), silently asking if it was okay. When she goes to reach for the coat, he ends up throwing it over her shoulders carefully, making sure it was secured enough to not fall off.
He offers her a soft smile, one filled with love and adoration, specifically for her. He can’t help but think how adorable she looks in his jacket.
“Thank you,” she murmurs, looking down at the ground in front of her as they continue walking on, her hands grabbing hold of the coat around her and tightening it slightly.
They continue walking for a little while longer, goofing off together like they used to do on their walks, before they start to head back, just after they reached the little hideout spot she mentioned earlier.
“Would you like to go into town? I don’t want to, uh, to part with you just yet, I feel like we have lost time to catch up on,” he smiles as he says this, wanting nothing more than to just be with her for the remainder of the day.
And fortunately for him, she agrees right away.
“Great, just give me a moment for Gerard to get the carriage ready and then we can take off. You go inside for a moment to get warm.” (Y/N) chuckles and steps inside her house after watching Laurie walk further and further away straight to his home. Once he is out of sight, she disappears inside and plops down on the couch. After resting for a moment, she fishes into her dress pocket and grabs the letter, thinking everything over.
There wasn’t a moment during their walk that she could have given it to him, or brought that sort of conversation up just yet. But maybe in town would be safer? No. She would have to face the ride home with him in a carriage of close quarters, that wasn’t an option.
Her fingertip traces the seal and she sighs, shaking her head.
“What are you doing, (Y/N)?” She whispers to herself.
A swift knock on her door startles her and she jumps up, immediately shoving the letter into her coat pocket and stands to head back out with Laurie.
“The carriage is ready,” he grins, holding his hand out for her to take. She gladly places her hand in his and follows him to the front of his house, where the carriage was brought around for easy access.
The city wasn’t as busy as Laurie was expecting, maybe because it was an afternoon of a week-day, or maybe it was the clouds that had rolled in on their way into town that had everyone scurrying to seek shelter in case there was rain or any sort of bad weather.
The first stop was the bakery, Laurie getting a regular croissant and (Y/N) getting a chocolate croissant, her favorite. She then bring Laurie to the library, showing him what her usual job is of re-stocking books, taking the ones recently returned and putting them back on the shelves. It was simple work, but she enjoyed it.
As they continue walking along the street, catching up as they’ve been doing, a little jewelry shop catches (Y/N)’s eye, and they step inside for a little to shield themselves from the chilly breeze that picked up.
Laurie follows her close behind, examining every piece she admires.
“Oh, Laurie, look how gorgeous this is,” she gushes, walking over to a counter with a simple green amethyst necklace, a small emerald cut with a silver chain and silver details holding the stone in place. Her jaw was slacked in awe as her fingers cradle the precious stone.
“That is beautiful,” he replies, noticing the twinkle she has in her eyes as she admires it. But upon seeing the price on it, her shoulders deflate and she sighs.
“If only I could afford it. It’s quite a piece, though.” Laurie nods silently and grins at her. He quickly looks to the man behind the counter and nods his head towards the piece, silently telling him to take it.
Just as (Y/N) turns away, her dreams slightly crushed, she spots a friend walking right past the window of the shop.
“Priscilla?!” She shouts, running straight for the entrance to the shop, slipping out just as Laurie turns back around to talk to the man. Acting fast, Laurie hands the man the correct amount of money stated and takes the box that he packed the necklace in.
Laurie leaves after thanking him, making sure to hide the box in his pocket before finding (Y/N) still talking to her friend. He comes to stand next to her, not saying anything and allowing her to have time catching up with someone else.
“Oh, Priscilla, this is Laurie,” (Y/N) finally introduces him after a small lull in the conversation. “Laurie, this is a friend of mine at the library, Priscilla.”
“Ah, so this is the infamous Laurie that she always talks about.” (Y/N)’s eyes go wide with worry, not wanting her secret to be given away, but thankfully, she continues. “She’s told me many stories about how you grew up together, it’s nice to finally meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you as well. We do have quite a lot of stories from when we were young,” he chuckles, glancing over at (Y/N) and smiling widely. She laughs along with him, her head tilting back with her laughter, a sight Laurie has always loved.
“Well, I have to get back home, but it was nice seeing you, and nice meeting you, Laurie,” Priscilla waves a goodbye to the both of them before dashing off. (Y/N) watches and as she does, she feels a single drop of water fall onto her nose.
“Do you feel that?” She asks, turning to Laurie, looking up at the sky. He joins her and flinches when a droplet of water hits his eye.
“Looks like we should get back,” he says, reaching for her hand and beginning to drag her away, back in the direction where their carriage was waiting for them to return. Laurie helps her step into the cab of the carriage, their laughter ringing out in the start of the thunderstorm.
The ride back for them was quite relaxing. (Y/N) stared out the small window, the rain hitting her face, Laurie watching her with admiration, knowing that if she turned around in a second and saw the look in his eyes, she’d be very aware of his feelings.
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She ends up having dinner with him and his grandpa for the evening, enjoying being back in the house that she spent so many days and nights in, a place she hasn’t been to in so long because it felt wrong to be there without Laurie, especially with how their friendship kind of fizzled out towards the time of him leaving.
But Mr. Laurence welcomed her back with open arms, letting her know she was more than welcome to visit any time. He even invited her back over for dinner tomorrow night, also fitted with an evening of entertainment with her parents and a few others.
When the time came, Laurie walked (Y/N) back home, the rain still falling down from the sky, soaking into the ground to hydrate the dry grass and trees. She used his coat to shield her hair from the rain, Laurie opting to get drenched, as it doesn’t bother him.
They come up to her front porch, chuckling together as they are finally covered from the pouring rain. Standing there for a moment, (Y/N) looks at Laurie and smiles, not really wanting to say goodbye, but she was exhausted.
“It was so lovely to be with you again, Laurie,” she murmurs, worried about how he feels. But when a huge smile stretches across his face, she feels relief course through her body.
“I very much enjoyed it as well. I think coming back was the best decision I have made so far.” A smile slowly tugs at (Y/N)’s lips and she feels her cheeks heat up with a blush. Sure, it wasn’t her that he solely came back for, but she could dream, right?
“Oh! I forgot I’ve been wearing your coat all day,” she realizes just as she was getting ready to head inside her warm home. She removes it from her shoulders and hands it to him, a thankful grin on his face.
“It’s no worries. I think it suits you quite well,” he winks. Again, she gets all flustered and looks down at her soaked shoes.
“Well, um, I better get inside before I get sick, but I will see you again tomorrow night, for dinner.”
“Of course, get some rest and yes, I will be anxiously awaiting for dinnertime to come.”
With that, Laurie turns and trots down the steps before taking off in a sprint back to his home, his own jacket over his head now that he had it back. (Y/N) steps inside and sighs deeply, heading straight up to her room and untying her muddy shoes.
Once she gets dressed in her nightgown and gets all snuggled up under the covers on her bed, she grabs the book she has been reading recently from her nightstand, but something clicks in her head. 
She doesn’t see the piece of paper that has been there for years. Her letter to Laurie.
Panic sets in and she starts to freak, checking her dress that was in a pile in the corner of the room to be washed at the end of the week, but nothing was in her pockets. She wracks her brain, trying to remember the last place she put it, until it clicks again.
Laurie’s coat pocket.
Her actions freeze as she thinks over the day, trying to recall when she put the letter there. Things finally fall into place and she falls to the ground, her knees hitting the wood with a loud THUD. Tears immediately spring to her eyes and she starts to shake, knowing that there was a possibility of him finding it now.
And unfortunately for her, this wasn’t to be dealt with tomorrow, as Laurie knocks on the front door  softly but just loud enough for her to hear. Slowly, she walks down the stairs, trying to be quiet as to not disturb her parents.
Opening the door, she finds Laurie standing there, his hair drenched with rain, as well as his white shirt and black vest. She didn’t have to say anything, since Laurie was holding the letter up, the purple wax seal broken, a clear sign that he read through it. His breaths were heavy, filled with emotion.
The silence is thick between them, both too scared to start the conversation.
“Is it true?” Laurie asks, staring at her, waiting for her to explain. However, she says nothing and steps to the side to let him in, wanting him out of the chilly, rainy night. But that wasn’t what he wanted, as he heads right to the back porch, gazing back at her, silently asking for her to follow him out to the covered porch.
The two step back outside, and instantly realizing that she wasn’t dressed for it, he puts his coat back over her shoulders, bringing her over to sit on the porch swing together. Laurie opens the letter back up and reads over it again, although that’s all he did when he found it, was read it five times over just to make sure he was actually seeing what he thought he was seeing.
A smile appears on his face and he folds the letter and brings it up to his face, chuckling to himself as he notices that she sprayed it with his favorite fragrance of hers. 
“I’ve always thought of our friendship as different. Not in a bad way, but…a good different. I have always thought you were so very special, as in a beautiful person but also special to me, personally. And then five years ago, when we were seventeen, we were at an event together, with a few friends and family, around Christmastime. You ended up falling asleep on my shoulder, and that’s when I realized I’m in love with you.”
(Y/N) stares out at the backyard, getting lost in the rainfall, but listening to Laurie fully, taking in his words and everything.
“It felt so wonderful to have you beside me like that, even though we’ve been in that position before, and even closer, that moment felt different for some reason. I realized that you are all I wanted in my life. I didn’t want anyone else falling asleep on my shoulder, no one else in that room mattered by you. I wanted to fall asleep with you by my side every night.”
This admission makes (Y/N)’s heart race in her chest, and she finally looks over at Laurie, who also stares foreward, seemingly focused on choosing his words. She notices, even in the dark of the night, the slightly pink tint to his cheeks, though she wasn’t sure if that was from the cool temperature or the reveal of his feelings. 
“But then things fell apart. You started acting strange and I figured I was reading signals wrong, that I was misjudging what our relationship was. That you were rejecting me in some way, even though I never voiced my feelings for you. That’s why I moved to Europe. To start new, to forget you, but I found that to be impossible. You were all I was able to think about. Everything I saw, I thought of you. Going to an art museum, I wanted to discuss a painting with you to hear your thoughts. Finding a little bakery and wanting to give you a bite of my pastry. Taking a trip through the French countryside and wanting nothing more than to run through the fields with you, your hand in mine, laughing, with no care in the world.”
Tears were filling (Y/N)’s eyes as he speaks, he was still staring forward and refusing to look at her until he’s said everything he needed to.
“Reading this letter just…brought so many emotions and confused feelings back.”
There’s a pause in the conversation as (Y/N) tries to collect her thoughts before speaking, not wanting to say the wrong thing.
“I love you, Laurie. I do. Everything in that letter is the truth. I didn’t mean to distant myself, but I was scared. I know that is not a good excuse, but I realized I was in love with you too. I took it far differently than I should have because I’ve never felt this way for someone. And I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.” She pauses to take a deep breath, turning her head back to look at the backyard, some parts of it beginning to flood a little due to the amount of rain that had fallen all afternoon.
“But in you pulling away, it made it worse. It ruined it anyway.”
“I know. Believe me, I am well aware of that at this point.” She looks down at her hands, disappointed in herself, and hurt. She was scared of this conversation going south, and things were going to end terribly. “But I would have rather kept you around and yearned for you in private than confess my feelings and lose you. And I got far too in my own thoughts and fear and thinking you wouldn’t feel the same. So I distanced myself. And I know I should not have, and I’m so sorry.”
Laurie takes her words in, nodding along as she apologizes. Opening the letter back up, he reads over it and lets the silence hang in the air for a few moments. His fingers run over the dried ink on the paper, remembering the feeling he got when he read it for the first time, only a little while ago.
FLASHBACK
Laurie enters his room and slips his coat off, hanging it up on the rack right next to his door. He reaches on the inside to grab the box with the necklace out, but also makes sure to check his other pockets just in case he left anything in there. To his surprise, he feels a piece of paper in one, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
When he realizes what it is as soon as he pulls it from his coat, he freezes, not sure what to do with it. But then he gets the idea that maybe (Y/N) put it in there for him to find. So, does that mean she wants him to read it? It must…right?
Going against his better judgement, he breaks the wax seal and opens it slowly, pausing to close his eyes and take a deep breath. His eyes scan over the writing, some words still scribbled through as she changed it last minute.
Dear Laurie,
You have just told me you are leaving for Europe at the end of the week. I hate feeling as though I have caused this, why would you go when you’ve always been by my side for years? So, I am writing this note as a way of getting out all of the feelings that I have, with no repercussions of any. Laurie, you are the most wonderful man I have ever come to know, you love with your entire heart and everyone you meet is like a friend to you. I have fallen so deeply in love with you, so much that it hurts. I yearn and I long to be yours, but fear that would ruin what we have right now, or had once. So I have stayed silent. And in my silence, I have distanced myself, to shield myself from the pain. But I have to say, this is far more painful, knowing you are leaving and will find a woman to love, a love that I dream of. A love with you. A life with you. It has always been what I’ve wanted. Not this. Not distance of thousands of miles and so many hours away. I will miss you, and everything that we shared. But I will never stop loving you. No matter what.
Love, 
(Y/N)
PRESENT
Laurie gently traces the last few sentences of the letter, a small grin back on his face as everything finally settles in. He looks over at her, folding the letter back up and shoving it inside his coat.
“I have something for you as well,” he murmurs, his hand remaining in the pocket and producing the small, black velvet box, a slight shake to his grip as the nerves set in. She stares at him, wondering what he has, and when he finally clicks open the box and hands it to her.
She gasps in shock, her hand flying up to cover her mouth, in surprise.
“Laurie…” she whispers.
“I noticed how much you were eyeing it, and knew I had to get it for you. Can I…?” His voice trails off as he motions to her neck. He carefully removes the necklace from the box and turns her slightly so that he can set the necklace around her neck, clipping it to secure it.
She looks down at it and smiles widely, the gem perfectly resting above her racing heart.
“This is too much, it was so expensive,” she tries to reprimand him.
“It is no issue, I wanted you to have it, you deserve to have pretty things.” Her cheeks heat up at his words and she sighs, looking down at her hands.
“Listen, I really am sorry for the way things went.”
Laurie, being cautious of his actions, tilts her chin up just slightly so that she can look into his eyes.
“How about we put it behind us and start a little bit before where we left off,” he offers. “Forget everything that happened months before I left. Like old times, but…no more hiding our feelings.” She softly smiles at his offer and takes a hold of his hands, squeezing them gently.
“I like the sound of that. Can I ask of one thing as well?”
“Of course, of course.”
“Kiss me.” 
Laurie takes no time to think about her request and presses his lips to hers, his hand cupping her cheek and holding her close. The two get lost in their own little world, every single feeling they’ve had for each other coming to a boiling point and spilling out, both being unable to control their actions any longer.
Which is why the kiss lasts for minutes, making up for all the lost time that was spent yearning after each other in silence, for the two years that he was gone, everything. Their hands explore each other’s bodies, (Y/N)’s hands going to Laurie’s hair, and his hands running up and down her back and resting on her sides, his thumbs tenderly rubbing her hips.
When the kiss finally ends, he rests his forehead against hers, their breath mixing together in the chilly, rainy night.
“That was everything I’ve dreamed of,” Laurie whispers, moving his lips over to kiss her cheek. “And so much more.”
“I feel the same way. Staring at your lips every time you spoke, wishing I could kiss them all night. Wanting them…all over me.” Laurie blushes and giggles at the suggestive comment from her.
“Well, we now have all the time in the world, mon amour,” he whispers, kissing her once more and cradling her face again. “The rest of our lives, even.”
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dangermousie · 5 months
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2023 End of Year Post - cdrama edition
Yes, we have a lot of December left, but I don't think anything else I want to check out will air before 2024 hits (it's cdrama so caveat is - you never know.)
This is only going to cover cdramas that aired in 2023; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it's not on the list. This was a pretty good cdrama year, all in all.
DRAMAS WATCHED
(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)
30 legend of twin flower - Not dignifying that drama with capital letters, as the only capital that should be associated with this is capital punishment - which is what watching this feels like.
29 Dominator of Martial Gods - sounds like a bdsm gay porn title. Would probably be better acted and written if it was.
28 Beauty of Resilience - you'd need a lot of said resilience to sit through this incoherent, barely acted mess. The thing that I remember the most other than my annoyance is all the jingly-jangly head gear on JJY. Perhaps they could have sold some of them and spent the money on a better script.
27 Divine Destiny - if you think you have too many brain cells and want to get rid of some, boy do I have a drama for you!
26 Wanru’s Journey - honestly it's probably tied with SEL - I mean it's worse but it has actors who are nowhere as well known and a fraction of SEL's budget. Still, this is a big fat nope. I will not say what I think of Aoi Rupeng's "acting" or I'd have to put money in the curse jar.
25 Snow Eagle Lord - Gulinazha's stone face, nonsense plot, terrible CGI. Take your pick as to why this is terrible.
24 Scent of Time - it was uneven but fun but then that ending was dumb enough to destroy the whole thing. Show me on the doll where common sense hurt you, makers!
23 Royal Rumors - Jeremy Tsui and Meng Ziyi are utterly wasted in this nothing trifle of a drama.
22 Legend of Anle - I had high expectations but alas. This is the drama version of color beige. There is nothing offensive about it but nothing good either. Mediocre actors are mediocre, good actors become mediocre, this is just a waste of our finite time on planet earth.
21 Romance on the Farm - it's not you, it's me in action. I can see why people would like this wholesome slice of farming family life, but it's tailored to trigger every one of my "nope" opinions.
20 Back from the Brink - if I were 12, it would be my favorite thing. I am not 12.
19 Journey of Chong Zi - objectively a terrible drama with plot holes the size of Mars and a leading lady whose face has apparently frozen when the wind changed. But I am a total sucker for the trope of upright shizun falling for his demonic disciple and going mental so here we are. Objectively, garbage, subjectively my precious!
18 Love you Seven Times - just call poor Ding Yuxi "Atlas," he carried this mess so hard.
17 Blooming Days - trashy dogblood harem fight fun throwback. It's not that great (and the fact that it was shredded doesn't help) but it's probably the last gasp of that genre for the foreseeable future, so I am grading on a curve.
16 The Starry Love - a fun fantasy where the secondary OTP stole the thunder but overall a really solid fantasy xianxia romance.
15 The Longest Promise - it could have been better - the secondaries were unbearable and there was too much of them and what they did with Alen Fang's character still gives me rage fits, but the main couple was impeccable and lovely and I rooted so hard for them.
14 Chang Feng Du/Destined - visually gorgeous, solidly acted, impeccable first half. Bland as hell second half. Win some, lose some.
13 Circle of Love - this drama is a nonsense trash heap on fire. After a typhoon hit it. It was also the most entertaining, addicting drama on this whole list.
12 Hidden Love - the sole modern on this list, this story has barely any plot but it made me care about the young, decent lovers so hard.
11 Choice Husband - starts out wacky, continues with angst and blood and happy ending. I loved it, but I've always had a soft spot for melo and schemers turning devoted.
10 Pledge of Allegiance - bromance, super solid acting, visuals, a really dark take on officials and the world. Insanely underrated.
9 Provoke - a truly fun Republican revenge and love tale, showing that short format can be wonderful.
8 Gone with the Rain - some of the secondary characters are rage-inducing (hi there, cardboard boy!) but the scheming, ruthless, vulgar FL is amazing and her slowburn with her age gap general who is delighted by her out-there-ness is great!
7 Wonderland of Love - Fei Wo Si Cun goes wholesome and the result is surprisingly entertaining. Battle couple, glorious visuals, a fast paced plot. It's the first Xu Kai drama I enjoyed in years (and he plays a rare cdrama ML it would be pretty neat to pair up with in rl.)
6 My Journey to You - that ending is infuriating (and I am OK with open endings if done properly) but what a visual feast, probably the most gloriously shot drama on this list, and that's a tough competition. Also it packs a hell of a lot of couples and familial and adversarial relationships into its slim running time; assassin lady won over by a gentle man is my favorite trope and so this is extra great.
5. Till the End of the Moon - the ending is a rage-inducing disaster for me, but this drama was the most incredibly emotionally intense, visually eye popping experience. It was deeply flawed but when it was amazing, it was like nothing else in its visuals, its characters and its narratives. It took insane risks; some paid off and some did not, but it was glorious.
4. Story of Kunning Palace - I don't often care for reverse harem stories but this one was such fun - the main OTP was glorious (strong FL, unhinged ML) but honestly everything about this was just so excellently done.
3. The Ingenious One - the most adult drama on this list. Smart protagonists, intelligent plot, emotions that felt true, this is a revenge and a mystery and found family and goes into so many directions you do not expect (Su Mengyu's PTSD after his first kill - that is something you never see in dramas, definitely not prolonged and profound - not like this.) If I was to say which drama was objectively the best on this list, as opposed to favorite, it would be this.
1 (tie) Lost You Forever 1 - this is an exquisite emotional jewel of a story about damaged people moving forward, with damage always present - their past informs their present and always will. The narrative about Xiao Yao and three very different men in her life makes me think that it's an equivalent of a neutron bomb going off right before the main narrative starts and now we are watching the survivors wander in the wreckage. This is very high fantasy setting but it's one of the most emotionally human narratives out there.
1 A Journey to Love - everything I ever wanted - assassins, ride or die adult OTP with genuine believable conflicts, great and complex secondaries, beautiful fights. Oh, and yeah Liu Shi Shi domming the hell out of every man in a ten mile radius, as she should.
FAVORITE DRAMA
It's a tie between Lost You Forever Part 1 and A Journey to Love. LYF1 is a bona fide art piece but it's only part 1 and who knows if part 2 will be any good (seeing the huge ep number cut, I have my doubts) and so it's incomplete. AJTL is an old school wuxia romance with incredibly competent, adult people in love and great cast of secondaries. I can't pick.
WORST DRAMA
romance of twin flower - this is a drama that should not exist. If I could hex everyone involved with it, I would. It's a terrible, stupid, shrill, badly acted drama to start with, but where it really is catapulted into stratosphere of horror is that is took my very favorite non-danmei web novel of all time, a smart and complicated tale with incredible protagonists and turned it into that barftastic abomination. Peng Xiao Ran kept making horrible drama after horrible drama but I kept giving her a chance because of Goodbye My Princess but after this disaster, I've had to accept GMP was a fluke and she is on my "if she's in it, I am out” list. Ding Yuxi is not that far yet (his performance in Seven Lifetimes was the one thing carrying that mess afloat) but he's on freaking thin ice. Anyway, I like to pretend this drama does not exist.
FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER
It was hard because there were so many I loved this year - Deng Wei's traumatized, gentle Seventeen from LYF1 (if someone told me I'd swoon and weep for a character played by Deng Wei, I'd have told them to examine their brains asap), Liu Yuning's incredibly capable, deadly, contained Ning Yuanzhou from AJTL, Zhang Linghe's unhinged Xie Wei from SoKP, Chen Xiao's schemer with a heart Yun Xiang from TIO.
But ultimately, it couldn't be anyone else but Luo Yunxi as Tantai Jin/Demon God/Ming Ye/Cang Jiumin in Till the End of the Moon. He was everything - a demon, a saint, a martyr, a monster, a tormented abuse victim, a savior, joyful, unhinged, smart, pitiable. It was the cdrama performance of the year for me. Luo Yunxi even in a mediocre role is impressive but in a complex (series of) role(s) designed for his strengths, he is a force of nature.
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FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER
Xiao Yao (Lost You Forever Part 1). Once again, there were runner ups - Bai Lu's smart a little evil FL in Kunning, the gloriously unhinged assassin domme Liu Shi Shi in AJTL, Esther Yu's assassin longing for a different life in MJTY etc etc etc. But Xiao Yao's damaged, difficult, very self-aware woman stole my heart. I was skeptical going in because I haven't enjoyed a Yang Zi performance in a long time, but she was the wounded beating soul of this incredible drama.
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NEEDS TO BE MURDERED
Where do we start? How about all of Seventeen's (LYF1) monster family? His brother, who tortured him for years physically and emotionally to such a degree his body is a horror map and his personality is permanently altered because "mommy liked you better." Psycho mother who created a situation where the kids were going to turn on each other and "let's get my grandson raped" grandma. Where is a well-placed meteorite when you need one.
FAVORITE SHIP
Xiao Yao/Seventeen, LYF1. Yes, a ship of characters played by Yang Zi and Deng Wei is my favorite. Leave me alone, I am on my tenth helping of crow already. They are both incredibly damaged, barely functioning survivors who find what they need in the other - he finds a savior and someone who sees him as a man and rebuilds himself around her and she finds someone who will always put her first and only, and subsume himself in her. Is it healthy? No. Does it make sense for them and is it making them slowly functional? Yes.
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Runner up: Ren Ruyi/Ning Yuanzhou, AJTL - two adults, so competent, so chemistry full. She has so much damage and so little normalcy but is so strong and he is oddly gentle (in between murders) and incredibly self-reflective. They are each other's mirrors and I love them.
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FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP
Su Mingyu/Ke Menglan, The Ingenious One - the idealistic merchant who wants to join jianghu until he sees its horrors firsthand and a slave entertainer who wants security but decides she wants him more. They are gorgeous and glorious and wholesome and I adore them.
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Runner up: Liu Gong Quan/Ming Zhu, The Ingenious One - that drama was a shippy gift, especially impressive considering it wasn't even romance-centric. He's the officer who has to bring down her treasonous father but loves her. Delicious.
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Another runner up is Chao Feng/Qian Kui, the angelic good girl and the scheming bad boy in The Starry Love. They stole the drama from the main OTP for me.
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NOTP
Scent of Time endgame. What the hell was even that. It made NO sense.
FAVORITE SCENE
So many good scenes this year - Tantai Jin taking apart Li Susu in prison in TTEOTM, the OTP fighting in perfect sync and insane rhythm in the gorge battle in AJTL, Chen Ruoxuan's character stopping the execution in Pledge, Yan Lin's coming of age in Kunning, the poison/antidote "gamble" in MJTY, Cang Xuan detoxing in LYF1. But I think ultimately, me being who I am, my favorite scene is Xiao Yao kissing Seventeen's damaged, scarred knee to show he is in no way inferior for her. AAAAA!
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In terms of pure jaw dropping visuals tho nothing will ever beat Ming Ye’s battle against the Devil God in TTEOTM.
BIGGEST CRUSH
Ning Yuanzhou, AJTL. He's sexy as hell (that height, that way he moves in battle) but he's also so incredibly competent, so adult, so self-reflective and so attracted to a woman for her strength. He also gets whumped on the reg. Anyway, my hormones are ready.
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BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER
Gong Yuanzhi (My Journey to You) - I loved the unhinged, brocon poison boy. He was everything. Also Yan Lin (Kunning) - talk about sunshine; I totally got why all these people felt they needed to save him.
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NEEDS A SEQUEL
My Journey to You - what the HELL was that ending?
NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT
legend of twin flower - that is, stab it with scissors like it stabbed the novel until it's dead.
TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT
Till the End of the Moon - they clearly cut stuff to fit into the new regs about runtime and it made the last 1/5 rather abrupt. Gimme!
TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE
The emperor cannot be irredeemable. WTF, China, you are a communist country!
FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF
This is the year of a ML who yearns to be dommed by his FL. Long may it continue.
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT
The Legend of Anle - the novel had a great plot, the cast were all actors I either enjoy a lot or somewhat and we got - whatever that soggy piece of wonderbread toast was.
BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE
LYF1 - I only checked out to mock because nobody could explain the story to me and nobody in the cast did anything I like either ever or in years. And then I fell utterly and completely in love and had to eat so much delicious crow.
2023 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH
Ancient Love Song is the only one on that list. It looks really good, I just need to brace myself.
BEST NON-2023 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2023
The Imperial Doctoress - best slowburn and pining and glorious character development and adult leads.
MOST ANTICIPATED
Anticipating any nonaired cdrama is a mug's game but if they air, I will definitely check out all the Fox Matchmaker dramas, LYF2, JoL2 and The Last Immortal. If Prisoner of Beauty ever is allowed out of the vault (dubious), it goes on the list too.
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