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collisiondiscourse · 3 years

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on the wonder duo (part 1)

(BNHA Analysis Post Ahead! This isn’t explicitly romantic, but it is an analysis of the relationship between the two most popular characters in BNHA--Katsuki Bakugou and Izuku Midoriya. Split into two posts because I realized that this was gonna be long as HELL)

yall ever think about the fact that the wonder duo is perfectly set up in so that bakugou and deku together are the better version of all might?

bc like. ive been thinking.

everyone knows the win to save and save to win parallel. How they are supposedly two halves of a whole perfect hero (which, previously, was defined as all might)

but ever since bakugou and deku started working as one—growing together to win AND save and continuously reminding each other that they shouldnt try to do things alone, ive realized that its BECAUSE theres two of them that they surpass all might. its not a case of deku and bakugou both being 50% of an ideal hero, but rather i think that they are 100% of what all might SHOULD HAVE BEEN from the very beginning.

as early as the AM v AFO battle in kamino, we see the effects of all mights flawed existence. the fact that he, the greatest and supposedly infallible symbol of peace, was destroyed—society had begun to collapse. there was suddenly no pillar to hold people together and the impacts were so severe that even in the latest chapters of mha it keeps on getting worse. the truth is, all mights biggest mistake was the burden he placed on his own shoulders

with bakugou and deku... its different.

its different for them because down to their attributions, they seem like two halves of a whole person.

i think that the wonder duo are going to surpass all might because of the fact that they work together.

@bakugoukatsuki-rising @svpercraigus @tybee @isaustraliaathing

(batshit crazy and conspiratorial essay under the cut !)

1. Complementary Colors

I’d like to first preface literally everything I say by the fact that I am not an expert analyzer or literary major in any way. I am literally just some random fan on the internet who has wayyy too much time and looks wayyy too deep into things, but here we go!

A common thing we see when we talk about bakugou and deku is the way they are... sort of an inverse of one another.

Down to the design of their features and the way they move, Deku is the obviously softer of the two. There’s an intentional contrast between the two of them, in the way that Deku’s drawn with round shapes and curvy hair and the way Bakugou is literally all spikes and half-mast eyes and rough muscles. Bakugou’s movements too are languid and showy, with the way he leans when he walks and splays his legs and kicks open doors. Katsuki, in a casual sense, is loud and dramatic.

Deku on the other hand s finicky. He jitters when he walks and he’s often fidgeting and mumbling. Comparatively, the aura he radiates is energetic and frenzied, even self-conscious to a point unlike Bakugou’s calm and confident movements.

the point is, there’s a clear difference in how either of them are designed and what exactly they are supposed to represent. They utterly complement each other down to the way they behave and even their main colors (red-orange and blue-green) being literal complementary colors.

Now, moving to my more ungrounded points, this is quite a bit of a stretch so I’ll try as much as possible to make sense of these with hyperlinked sources because. yeah.

Down to their names, I think Deku and Bakugou both symbolize something deeper. I think that the way Hori expresses characters and what they’re meant to do is something that we have to pay close attention to when we talk about the Wonder Duo’s rise to success.

Izuku Midoriya (緑谷出久), as some of us may know, does have an interesting meaning when broken up. According to a lovely fan translation of his name, ‘Izuku’--while not an actual name used commonly in real life--means to ‘Come out’ or ‘Long time’. ‘Midoriya’ on the other hand means (Midori) ‘Green’ and (ya) ‘valley’. The translator further pointed out that his first name ‘Izuku’ could be a reference to him being the first legendary hero to come out of the long-running All Might Era. (or, if you’ve been reading @/bakugoukatsuki-rising’s posts, the first significant anime protag in a long while to come out as queer, ppfft)

but that isn’t my focus right now.

We know that Hori LOVES telling stories with names, and more often than not in the BNHA universe, names alone tell us a lot of things about the characters. When referring to Izuku’s last name, Midoriya, it’s important I think to step back and realize that hey, maybe there’s something more to Green Valley than just the fact that his motif is all green.

After searching for a lil on the specifics of green valley, I’ve found out that across many cultures, the colour green and valleys in general tend to represent life. From dream analysts, to Christianity, and even old Taoist teachings, valleys are seen as areas of fertility and escape. They are seen as safe havens and often escapes for people to come to after running away from bad circumstances.

(Sound familiar?)

Deku, in essence represents life and peace. He represents being the “salvation” that the world in BNHA needed. To me, it sounds like Horikoshi is trying to say that he is the long-awaited hero in the sense. The one that people can feel will create a society that feels safe for everyone after years of All Might just saving people from themselves as a band-aid solution.

On the other hand, we have Katsuki Bakugou (爆豪勝己), who’s name we commonly know means (Katsuki) Winner and (Bakugou) Explosion Master. He is essentially, the champion. The power. His name means success and power and all the things that make up winning.

When putting them side by side, it then becomes increasingly... interesting to me how their names almost perfectly slot into All Might’s save to win and win to save mantra, and how they are both quintessential parts to what made All Might as a hero.

2. Hero Too!

Now, I’m not even gonna really TOUCH much of what happens in canon. If you want me to do a step by step breakdown of their arcs in regards to the plot of manga and anime, feel free to send me a gratuitous ko-fi tip so I can pay for the headache I get after trying to organize my thoughts into word vomit.

What I WILL talk about on the other hand, is the subtle shift both of them slowly have in regards to how they look. Bakugou and Deku, while growing up, seem to have MANY many parallels--but before I elaborate on all of that, I wanna talk about something else.

Detour: Deku’s Red Shoes

We all know the iconic symbol being Deku’s red shoes. For all his life, save for some outfits like his hero one, we see Deku more often than not wearing his signature red sneakers which have become a running joke in fandom.

But the funny thing is, in Japan, red shoes seem to have an interesting connotation.

In 1922, a popular Japanese nursery rhyme was written, called “Red Shoes”. The interesting part to me about this song was the symbolism that, in my tiny pea-sized brain, I could connect to the story of BNHA.

The story goes that there was a little girl with red shoes named ‘Kimi’. She was from Shizuoka prefecture (which, if you didn’t know, is most likely where Musutafu supposedly is) and was raised by a single mother. When she was young, her mother had to entrust her with a foreigner under the impression that they would give her a better life in America. The stranger is a man named Charles Hewitt (who was described to have blue eyes) and supposedly took her away.

The singer of the song (supposedly the mother, but some argue it was written from the perspective of a childhood friend) believes that Kimi is happy and living a better life away from them, when the reality of the situation was much worse. The young girl with red shoes in actuality had Tuberculosis, and thus the foreigner whom she was entrusted to had left her to fend for herself and eventually left her to go to America while she died alone and orphaned.

“When I see red shoes, I think of her.”

A very interesting story with very interesting implications indeed.

Anyway, moving on to the more... “nuanced” and connected parts of this section, I have every reason to believe that Bakugou and Deku were simply MEANT to be working together down to how they dress. Now, I’d like to discuss their hero costumes.

At the start of their series, using these godawful pics for reference, it’s clear to see that neither of them seem alike in any way--reflecting the dissonance in their relationship at that point in canon.

ough. deku why. (yes we know why its because you love your mom you stupid little bunny <3)

Anyway, we see an immediate gap in how the two of them are. Deku’s first costume is one that reflects how he treated his dream of being a hero. He was still in that childlike idolization phase, the one where his dreams and aspirations were hinged on pure feelings and inspiration from All Might. Katsuki on the other hand was a lot more tactical--professional to an extent. The gap between their respective development with their quirks is something that is clearly felt in every fashion decision they’d made.

(Notice how Deku’s green is a lot brighter and less like the green accents Katsuki has all over his costume.)

As time progressed however... their costumes changed. The colors, the silhouettes, the practical functions, most things.

(Deku’s Gamma Costume and Bakugou’s Winter Costume used respectively)

we begin to notice a few similarities.

As the show goes on and we see more evolutions of their costumes, it almost seems like they begin to look like a matching pair. Deku’s green grows darker and almost teal in nature, while Bakugou’s orange is veering towards red territory. This is important to note because red-orange and blue-green as I said earlier were complementary colors as compared to simply orange and green. The minute shift is something I really wasn’t quite sure was intentional, but something I find interesting to pick up nonetheless as the colors they used to accent their costumes begin to match up.

Secondly, I think and important thing to note is silhouettes. The way that both Bakugou and Deku’s costumes are designed follow a lot of parallels that typically we don’t see with the rest of 1-A. For one, they both have a combination of tight long-sleeved tops with a bulkier set of bottoms. They also share the use of utility belts and metal pieces typically worn around their necks. Deku has his bunny-eared hood that mimics All Might’s hair, while Bakugou has his orange and black explosion ear-pieces that mimic his own quirk.

i don’t think any other people in class 1-A match each other as subtly yet strongly as these two. Uraraka and Deku and Bakugou and Kirishima do come close however.

“But Codi, you fucking knob!” I hear you plea. “This is such a reach and tells us practically NOTHING!” And yes, I’m inclined to agree with you! You’d be sort of right in the idea that this is a reach. Maybe I am looking too much into this, and maybe it really isn’t that deep--but I do think that them subconsciously matching outfits means something quite brilliant.

In the way that their costumes are designed, each aspect of either outfits have a very logical explanation. The changes were strategic and made with their fighting styles vividly in mind, so what that tells me is that BECAUSE these costumes are so complementary or similar in nature (Bakugou’s reinforcing his arms while Deku reinforces his legs), these two are implicitly showing the audience that their combat styles are complementary as well.

The evolution of their design choices and similarities tell us that even unknowingly, their minds line up in strategy on the battlefield--a clear exhibit for why they would be INCREDIBLY POWERFUL as a Hero Duo to begin with.

When I look at their hero costumes side by side, I see a mirror. I see the way that these two are reflections of each other and are strong where the other isn’t. The point I see in BNHA repeatedly is that EVERYONE HAS A WEAKNESS. Nothing is infallible, regardless of how hard you train or how powerful your quirk is. Everyone will always have a weakness, but the significant difference I see when fandom discusses the future of Pro-Hero Society is that the new generation is finally raising itself to be RELIANT on each other.

Observing their fighting styles and the simple use of their quirks, its obvious that they are indeed two parts of a whole hero. Bakugou, who’s quirk emphasized his arms and hands and the power that comes from it, while Deku who’s quirk now emphasizes his legs and lower body and the way he’s always running to save people.

IN CONCLUSION:

As they become heroes, it is easy to assume that if nothing else, Bakugou and Deku will cover each other’s weak spots (especially when you consider the way Deku probably won’t be able to keep using his arms with the way both the anime and manga are going...) (also chapter 285, anyone?)

Part Two: Interactions, OfA

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prettywordsyouleft · 3 years

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To Be Continued - Part 1

Summary: As an author, you had created Brian Kang for your current trilogy series to represent the ultimate man that everyone would love, along with Charli Evers - your female protagonist. What you hadn’t expected was for him to find a way out of the story and begin shaping up your world instead

Pairing: Brian Kang x female writer (ft. Park Sungjin)

Genre: writer au / romance / fantasy

Warnings: fictional characters coming to life / a bit of angst here and there / Sungjin as a cop (or does that only affect me?) >_>

A/N: this story idea was created from receiving two prompts for Brian in the YouxIdol drabble game I was completing this year. In this part, you can find prompt #186, “You don’t have to answer right away. I’d wait an eternity for you.”

Word count: 2252

Preview | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Epilogue

Brian cupped her cheek tenderly with one hand, smoothing out any worried lines across her forehead with the other. He smiled encouragingly, tears threatening to spill from his eyes with his heightened emotions. “You don’t have to answer right away.”

“I don’t?” Charli breathed back, knowing that her response to his question was already formed. Yet it wasn’t the right time for any love confessions right now. Despite this, her answer rushed to the back of her throat, where she tried to swallow it back down repeatedly.

Brian already knew and nodded softly to let her know of this. “I’d wait an eternity for you.”

“Isn’t that a bit too cringe-worthy?” you wondered, pausing to read the words upon the screen with a frown. It wasn’t out of character for Brian Kang and Charli Evers. And it certainly wasn’t the first cheesy line you’d thrown into Captivated either. Still, you mulled over the scene a little longer, deciding whether or not it should be removed.

“What would Charli do in response?” you asked out loud to no one in particular, a flurry of action from your fingers taking place immediately. You followed the scene until completion before taking a break, switching out of the word document and over to your Discord server.

Smiling as you scrolled through the new comments about the upcoming sequel you were in the later stages of writing for Brian and Charli, you let out a rattle of a cough from your chest, groaning at your illness dampening your mood.

“I’m trying to finish this final chapter tonight,” you spoke out into the universe, casting your eyes to the heavens for effect. “I’ve battled through this cold for a week now. It won’t take me down just yet!”

Reaching forward for more cold and flu medicine, you swallowed the capsules down with a painful gulp of water and then felt your forehead. It was hotter than before, though you waved it off as you answered a couple of messages and returned to the final part of the story.

Captivated was the second story in your new trilogy series since your last series Destined had become an overnight sensation. When you sat down to pen the soulmate idea into something more than thoughts in your head, you hadn’t expected the tale to touch so many people over the world. Nor had you believed you would follow it up with To Love You, Forever, And Always either.

You originally felt that Destined was the reason why Brian and Charli’s first story Encounter was easily shared around. The protagonists had their own charms though and you could tell the fan base for this series was different from the last. They were just as eager, however, to find out when the pair would shake free from the star-crossed lovers’ trope and finally give in to the evident love they had for one another.

“Part three it’ll be,” you surmised proudly and somewhat exhaustedly after typing The End onto the electronic manuscript. Leaning back in your chair, you finally allowed yourself to succumb to the illness plaguing you. In a moment of disillusion, your mind conjured up Brian standing before you with concern etched in his eyes. You let the novel scene play out in your head, wishing he was actually here to help you out of your writing office, down to your bedroom and tuck you into bed.

Swinging gently from side to side in your desk chair, you hummed with delight. Brian Kang was your biggest self-indulgence character. You had created Park Jinyoung in Destined to infuriate your main protagonist, but Brian was the ultimate fictional guy. He was playful and kind, caring and thoughtful. He knew when Charli needed him to stand up in her weak moments, and he fought for what he felt was right even when all odds were against him. He also allowed Charli to see his vulnerability and his honesty, gaining him many fans around the world. And if all that wasn’t enough, Brian Kang was incredibly attractive.

You had really created the holy grail of a dream man.

Laughing to yourself in your sick-induced state, you smiled lazily. “Dream men are just that, Y/N. Brian Kang would never exist in this world.”

You nodded to yourself, agreeing with the proclamation, feeling more single in the moment as you did so. It was funny really, you were a successful author of Young Adult romance novels and yet you hadn’t experienced the touch of a man, let alone any ardent confessions since your university days.

“Right, it’s time for bed,” you decided before your mood plummeted further into despair. However, your limbs felt too heavy to move and so you simply closed your eyes once more, hoping a little nap would help you regain some energy to head off to bed later on.

When you opened your eyes next, you found yourself in your darkened bedroom, smiling gently at bringing yourself to bed sometime during the night that you couldn’t remember. Sitting up slowly, you allowed your gaze to adjust to the dim morning light filtering through the small gap in the curtain, before reaching onto your nightstand for your phone.

You blinked. Instead of finding the device, you saw a kitchen bowl and face cloth resting over the edge of it.

Did you bring that with you in the middle of the night? Surely if you had been attempting to bring down your own fever, the face cloth would have been strewn somewhere in among your bedding after falling asleep with it, not neatly placed back upon the side of the bowl. Looking beyond that, you found a bottle of water with a third of the liquid missing. You did vaguely remember sipping on some water overnight, and that eased your mind from your initial confusion.

Shaking your head, and swinging your legs over the side of your bed, you placed your feet in your slippers before padding back into the office in search of your phone. Maybe you had help overnight after all, and you wanted to check if your mother had come over at your request. She had done that one year when you caught a nasty virus and couldn’t cope on your own anymore. Motherly love was definitely needed, and now that you had completed your obligations with Captivated and sent it off to your editor Lily, you would have no restrictions on who entered your creative space.

“Huh,” you said when you saw your laptop screen still open. You had a habit of closing the screen every night after turning the device off and approached it now with some confusion, trying to recollect what you last did the night before. Nothing rose to the surface immediately and you reached for your phone, blindly hitting speed dial on your mother’s number. And when her greeting rang down the receiver, you were more than perplexed.

“Hey, did you come by last night?”

“No, why?” she answered and then gasped. “Y/N, you sound awful! Did you keep working even though you were sick?!”

“You didn’t come here?” you repeated, fingertips reaching for the sticky note upon the computer screen. “Maybe it was Lily.”

“Lily is out of the country isn’t she?” your Mum reminded and you blinked several times before focusing enough to read the note you held.

You shouldn’t have worked so hard to complete it! Your health is important too. How will I cope if you get any worse? Make sure you rest up well and drink a lot of fluids. I need my best writer in tip top shape to see where my world continues.

I made you breakfast. It’s not much, but make sure you eat before you sit down at this desk, hm?

- B.

Dropping the note, along with letting your mouth fall ajar momentarily, you stuttered out a hasty farewell to your mum before hanging up the phone and looking to the doorway. Cautiously, you walked through your house to the kitchen where you stopped in your tracks at seeing a tea towel covering something on the bench. Gingerly peeling it back when you finally approached it, you gasped when you found several dishes underneath, along with instructions on how to heat it up.

For a split second, your mind conjured Brian up again, imagining him in your kitchen preparing all this. It would totally be just like him to make sure Charli was well fed to regain her energy from any illness.

But, you weren’t Charli Evers.

In fact, you hadn’t even based her off your personality at all, rather, a close online friend of yours who you admired a lot. So, whilst Brian would definitely go to all this trouble for Charli, you sure were clutching at straws thinking of yourself in the same situation.

Who came into your home then?

Distractedly, you heated the porridge and brewed up the tea the mystery person had prepared as well. You carried the tray of food over to your dining table when it was done and sat down before taking your first mouthful.

And then you mulled over who could possibly step into your house that had the initial B.

Maybe it wasn’t a B, you concluded when you realised no one had access to your house with that letter, even as a surname. Climbing back to your feet, you rushed to your office where you had discarded the first note and held it up to inspect the handwriting.

“It could be an R,” you mentioned out loud, then shook your head immediately. Even if the handwriting was looser than most that you knew of, it couldn’t be anything other than a B.

After examining it for a few minutes, you sat down with a huff. You’d never seen the handwriting before.

You didn’t know whether or not to be alarmed.

Had there been an intruder overnight?

Jumping back up, you persevered through the dizziness that plagued you from moving so fast, heading down the hallway to the front door. The chain was still latched and there was no sign of forced entry. Again, making your way to the back door, everything was in order.

As was every possession you owned – minus the kitchen where the food had been prepared. But even then, the dishes that had been used were rinsed and stacked by the sink.

You jumped when you heard a sudden mewl at your feet and clutched at your heart, before stooping down to pick up your cat Binks. The black cat nuzzled into you affectionately before meowing again. “I guess you want to be fed, huh?”

Walking around the counter, you stopped when you found his bowl with some food remaining. You knew Binks wouldn’t leave food overnight. Glancing at the cat, you frowned. “Who did this, Binks?”

The feline merely yawned and settled down to nap in your arms. It certainly brought the saying, cat’s got your tongue, to mind and you rolled your eyes at the infuriating situation.

Sitting down on your couch, you stared at the wall ahead of you as you tried to find an answer to all the evidence. Stroking the purring animal in your arms, you nodded determinedly.

“The only answer is that I did it in a sleep-induced state,” you announced and Binks opened his eyes to look up at you before rolling around to start licking at his back leg. You sighed. “Right, Binks?”

You were certain your cat thought you were insane. However, it was all you could find to be the answer.

“I got up and I took myself to the kitchen and prepared the ice water to cool down the fever. And went to bed. Then maybe I got up again, which is when I placed the cloth on the bowl and prepared the food. I washed my dishes, including the ones I had piling up from being too busy with work and-”

Binks leapt from your lap then, sauntering down the hallway from your side. Getting up to follow him, you ended up back in your home office, where he pounced up onto your desk, standing on the keys to your laptop. “Hey! Get off!”

Swatting the cat away from the device, you noticed that it hadn’t been turned off overnight. That was not like you at all. Logging into your account, you sat down in your desk chair and shifted back suddenly when you found a new document open.

I bet you’re in disbelief about now, right? I guess I would be too. It wasn’t you who looked after you all night long, and did your dishes. Wow, you get behind in things when you’re focused on writing.

Don’t worry. I didn’t look around - much.

Your fever went down over a couple of hours whilst I moved back and forth helping you out. It’s the least I can do after you’ve spent so much time with me. Well, we’ve yet to officially meet.

One day.

- B (your biggest fan)

PS. I fed Binks. He really does have quite the personality.

“Okay!” you sounded in an octave higher, laughing a little to yourself at the same time. “Someone was definitely here. Who is B and how does this person know so much personal information?!”

You were too preoccupied to realise the document to Captivated was still open behind the other one.

And instead of saying The End as it once had, it had been deleted and replaced with To Be Continued.

_________________

Part 2

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hawks-is-kinda-chicken-little · 4 years

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Voicemail

Hawks X Reader

Summary: Commitment is sometimes scary, especially when Keigo already has so much on his plate. So instead of communicating that to his lover, he grows distant.

-part 1-

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

—————————————————-

One moment Keigo was flying through cloud nine and the next he was falling faster than ever.

(Y/n) was the first one to break his walls. See the broken man through the believable facade portrayed by the media. She loved him, the real him, not the picture perfect model on the tv young boys and girls dream about and idolize. All his flaws and scars never repealed her for even a moment, she loved him unconditionally. She was the first to do so, the first to show him that he didn’t have to be perfect.

Keigo remembers when she shattered those barriers. Oh, how he cried. It was only a week until their one year anniversary. But, this was the first time (y/n) had seen him all battered and beaten from a fight earlier. No feathers on his back, nasty gashes on his face and arms, Hawks might as well have been fresh out of a human sized shredder. Really, he should have gone to the hospital, but he figured he could just handle the damage himself. He remembers being frozen in place when his eyes landed on her after just walking into their shared apartment. She should have been asleep already, yet there she was standing in the dim lighted hallway with the worry shining in those doe eyes of hers. Her cheeks were puffy and her eyes were red as if she had been crying moments ago. Quickly, she scurried over to him scanning over his torn form. From there gently but quickly guided him to the bathroom where they kept the medical supplies.

He was sitting on a stool near the bathroom sink as (y/n) sat right next to him with her legs folded on the floor. The silence was deafening, no questions were asked. Hawks quietly watched her shaking hands delicately wrap one of the bandages around his wounded arm. Making sure the fabric was not to tight, but not too lose that it would come undone. Sighing, he reached the hand she previously wrapped and cupped her cheek, rubbing his ever so gently under her eye, causing her to stop her actions and place her hand upon his own, closings her eyes. She lowered her head as her shoulders started shaking ever so slightly with every sniffle and hiccup that came from her. Hawks used his other hand guide her face towards his wiping away freshly dropping tear that cascaded down her puffy red cheeks. It was only a couple for minutes before she broke the silence.

“I saw it on the news,” Her bottoms lip quivered more as she spoke.

“What did you see, my love?”

“Them hurt you,” She sobbed “It was all over the news, you were- you were thrown through the building and pummbled into the ground, the- then the power shut off and I did know if- I didn’t know-”

The poor thing couldn’t even finish the sentence, she was now curled over her knees sobbing into her hands in attempt to muffle her cries. Hawks was in shock, he knew she cared and worried for him, but apparently underestimated the extent at which it went. Never in his life has someone genuinely cried on his behalf, not even his so-called parents. This was the moment he broke down. This was the moment he knew she truly loved him and he truly loved her.

Shifting so that Keigo was now on the ground with her, he pulled her to his lap, rocking them both from side to side, as he burying his face in her hair. In this moment both of their hearts beat for each other and nothing could change that. He hadn’t even realized his own tears that were falling until she pulled back just alittle to stare into his eyes and wipe them away. There was nothing but love and care in those glazed over her eyes.

Hawks remembers sitting on the tile of the bathroom floor the rest of the night in eachothers embrace. No one in the rest of the world mattered, it was only them, both vulnerable to each other’s love.

She meant so much to him, she was like the feathers on his back, freeing and always there to lift him up. Everyone at the agency loved her, she was motherly to the interns and alway there to vent if someone needed to talk. She was a true blessing to all those around her. Time went on and there love only grew stronger.

Lately something had seemed off with Keigo, he was acting cold and distant, and not even he could pinpoint why. Maybe it was the stress of all the hero work piling up. Being the number Two Hero came with a lot of responsibility and a lot more work which he had to keep on top of. Keigo had been staying at the office later doing paperwork into the early hours of the morning for the past three days. And when he did return home (y/n) was always draped over the arm of the couch in her night time attire asleep. It was obvious that she was trying to wait up for him, but always seemed to fail. Shaking his head with a small smile at her silliness, he picked her up and brought her to bed. It wasn’t long before he joined her, but Hawks was always gone before she would wake up.

She would leave him encouraging texts and voicemails throughout the day, to which he never replied to. It seemed like they hadn’t even really had a real conversation in a couple of months. Every time she would try and reach out to her, he’d blow her off, avoiding any sort of confrontation. Keigo already has so much going through his head with all this league of villains stuff, the last thing he needs is another person giving him problems.

Today marked the 3 year anniversary of their relationship. It was a quiet day at the agency, so (y/n) came to visit. Of course a bunch of the women pulled her into the break area to gossip. They were all talking and giggling when he was walking by. Hawks stopped to listen at the door when one giggling in particular reached his ears making him smile. The ladies wanted juicy details about Hawks and his lover’s relationship. He couldn’t stop the smile creeping up his face hearing her stutter out haste responses obviously embarrassed by their questions.

A couple more questions were thrown around and he put his hand on the door getting ready to barge in and save his poor baby like the hero he was. Hawks was half way through the door when one of the ladies asked about marriage making him halt. All eyes were on him, but his eyes were on (y/n)’s as his smile slowly fell. He shifted his gaze to the ground as he backed out the door, the sound of a chair being pulled back followed by the hurried steps of his lover close behind him. Her hand reached out and grasped the hand in an attempt to make him stop, which was successful and he turned to look at her, his face void of emotion.

“They were only joking, you know,” She said, hoping to lighten the mood, but there was some sort of panic or desperation hidden in her voice, Hawks could hear it.

He didn’t say anything, he only stared at her with a straight face. By the grace of whatever higher ups there were, his work phone went off signaling an emergency.

She squeezed his hand “I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, but know that I love you and I will listen if there anything you want to talk about when you come back, we can skip our dinner reservations and just chill at home if you want.”

“I can’t talk about this right now, ill see you at home,” He muttered, ripping his hand from her hold.

Keigo turned around, walking away from her, but not miss the shocked and pained look that spread over her face. As he walked towards his office, the employee’s mouths hung open in shock. With shame and guilt beginning to set in, Keigo quickened his pace to his destination, slamming the door behind him as he arrived. A frustrated sigh escaped his lips as his hands tugged at the untamed locks on his head. Pulling himself together, Keigo grabbed his gear and headed to the destination at which he was needed.

The mission was a breeze, but he didn’t return to the office, instead he opted to clear his mind soaring through the night time clouds. He flew out of the city bounds and landed on a tree that stood miles away, facing the glowing outline of the city. Hawks sat on one of the sturdier branches leaning against the thick core it sprouted from and closing his heavy eyes.

What was his issue? What had changed to make him act so harsh? God, (y/n) probably hates him now. Can’t say he would blame her though, he’s been nothing but a jerk to her these past couple of days. Damn, he was such an asshole at the office. Ignoring her, snapping at her, pushing her away when she had done nothing wrong.

But that’s not what she thought. These past days all she could do was pick her own mind over and over again. This has been going on for an entire month, nothing has been resolved, it only seems to be getting worse. She tried staying up and waiting till he got home to talk to him, but he was always home so late. (Y/n) tried calling, but that never got anywhere. It was alway go straight to voicemail. The same old:

“Heyyyyy, sorry I can’t answer at this moment. If its urgent or you have chicken that you can eat/ just want to give me chicken call my bussiness number at (***)***-****. Talk to ya later.”

She would alway leave a sweet and encouraging voicemail, sometime she would ask when he would be home, or if he maybe wanted to meet her for food or something.

So now here she sits at 1am, holding the tiny wrapped box she was going to give him for their anniversary while tears streamed down her face. Stuffed inside is a pregnancy test, they always joked about kids before this issue started. She found out about two weeks ago, deciding to wait to give it to him today, or yesterday, since she could never really get a hold of him lately.

She can’t do this much longer though, it was really starting to get to her, maybe it was the hormones talking, but it hurts nonetheless. No matter how she twisted it in her head she couldn’t understand where they went wrong. Setting the present on the counter, she walked to their shared bed room so she could grab a couple of necessities for the night. As of right now she was planning on crashing at a friends house who was already informed of (y/n)’s current predicament. Rumi Usagiyama always knew how to cheer her up.

After stuffing the duffle bag, (y/n) wrote a little note and left it at the edge of the night stand before grabbing the car keys and heading out the door. Making sure to turn off all the lights and lock the door on her way.

Unfortunately, in her rush she left the small box neatly wrapped bright colors and a golden bow resting forgotten on the counter.

It was hours till Keigo finally got the courage to head home to her for the night, or morning, as it was past 1 am. It felt cold inside, it felt empty. Keigo didn’t like it. Normally (y/n) kept the kitchen light on as she would always try and wait up for him when he came home.

The further he walked in the more he panicked, (y/n) wasn't passed out on the couch. Uneasiness settled deep in his gut as he started searching the apartment in a frenzy. Heading towards their bedroom, he froze at the door frame seeing, it was empty, she wasn’t there.

He started yelling out her name, desperate for some sort of response while he searched every room. Keigo checked his phone, nothing. He called her, no response. Maybe, she was somewhere outside. Yeah, (y/n) loved going on early morning walks.

While rushing back towards the front door, a shiny gold sparkle caught his eye. It stood out of place in the dark kitchen. The glittery glow illuminated from golden ribbons wrapped around a package all connecting to form a bow on the top.

Cautiously walking over to the counter he picked it up, immediately eyeing a tag that had flopped to the side. Two fingers grasped it, flipping it from one side to the other. On the opposite side was written ‘To: Keigo’ in the beautiful handwriting that could only belong to (y/n).

His heart sunk as guilt started eating away at him. Pulling the ends of the ribbons, he slowly unwrapped it, taking the lid off the small box. At first he was confused, inside was just a bunch of tissue paper and some kinda plastic stick. When Keigo saw the 2 bright red stripes going down one side, it clicked. It was a pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test.

Keigo’s mind went blank as the world around him froze. Tears started racing down his now damp cheeks. God what has he done. After placing the stick back in the box and then shoving it in his coat pocket Keigo bolted to the closest window, phone in hand attempting to call her phone.

All calls went to voicemail. There was no sign of her anywhere. Keigo could feel his wings shake in panic and desperation. Two hours had gone by and there was nothing.

Where was his (y/n), where was his angel? The woman who put up with all his shit throughout the years. The woman who loved him unconditionally, even when she saw how truly broken of a man he was. The woman who worried for him, cared for him, healed him, knew him. The real him. The woman who was carrying their baby, the woman- the one he pushed away. The one who he ignored and made cry. The one he hurt.

He needed to find her, try to mend all his mistakes. Hell, beg on his knees for her to forgive him. Ask how he could make it up to her. Let him show her that he can be a better man for not only her, but their baby. Oh, god they were going to have a baby. Just the thought of the little chick, made his heart cry out of joy and love.

There was so much he had to say to her. So much time he wanted to make up for. He wanted, no, needed to hold her, encase her and their little chick away from the world in a cocoon of red feathers. But, first he had to find them.

Landing on the barren street he began searching on foot, choosing to call up a few other heros in hope that they had either seen her or would help search for her. No one had seen her, not even Rumi, her best friend, had heard from or seen her the whole day. The few heros that were awake in the early morning, including Endeavor and of course Rumi, went out to start looking for her.

Another hour went by and there was no news, at this point Rumi was using her phone to try and call her. As Rumi was calling, Keigo faintly heard the familiar tone of (y/n) ringtone.

It was faint, but if he followed its sound, it kept getting louder and louder, and almost seemed to be more distorted from its original sweet tone. He followed it right to the entrance of an alley. The ringing stopped signalling the reject of the call. Leading into the dark shadowy ally was a smeared red looking substance that glistened in the moonlight.

Rumi caught up to him, eyes following his gaze to the ground. She watched as her friend shakingly pulled his own phone from his pocket, calling (y/n). A lump formed in her throat as the ringtone of her best friend went off a couple feet before them as a light illuminated from the receiving device.

Neither of them could move as Endeavor came from behind them, witnessing the whole thing. Endeavor used his fire to create a light source, giving them a better view.

Before the heros was a blood splattered ground, all over the brick walls and objects on the ground. But there was not a source of where that blood might have come from. The reminisce of a duffle bag lay abandoned on the side next to a dumpster. It’s contents were scattered all around, ripped clothes and other items which blood splattered all over.

There was only one person who all there’s items belonged to. They all knew it. Especially Keigo.

He took a couple steps in stopping right before a bright screen in the center of it all. The device displayed warped images of the two of them on the shattered glass of the screen. Keigo could make out both of their faces, he was holding her on a bridge. Arms wrapped around each other, him kissing her blush covered cheek as she sweetly giggled.

Keigo fell to his knees in front of it. Rumi started wailing, yelling to (y/n) that this was not a joke, demanding she come out. Endeavor stepped to the side calling for backup and a forensic team.

Curling over his knees, Keigo started sobbing hysterically. His wings slumped to the ground shaking with every sob that racked through his body.

The phone kept ringing, as if it was mocking him. Ringing. Ringing. And ringing. Over and over again. Until it went on, until it stopped and caused his phone to go to voicemail. Her angelic voice came from his speake

“Sorry if I couldn’t answer right away, make sure to leave a message and i- hey! Keigo stop, no, Keig-,” “She obviously busy, if it is urgent call a hero or something,” “Keigo for God sake, give me my phone” “Leave a message or call later, i really don't care which,” “You dorky chicken leg, give it back!”

Then it cut out, ending the voice over. Her voice faded out, leaving his broken cries the only thing to be heard.

Keigo never moved, he sat there hurled over in the middle of the alleyway, wings splayed out over the ground.

Endeavor had to drag Keigo to his feet and haul him out of the way so that the investigators could get to work. He made Keigo sit on a bench by the front of the building next to the alley. A bunch of heros were trying to console Rumi through her mentally breakdown, as she cursed the world, threatening the worst to those who took her family.

Keigo stared back towards the ally littered with a team of investigators through blurry eyes. He felt his world come to an end. No damage he could or had taken amounted to his current pain. It squeezed at his chest and restricted his airways. He couldn’t control his muscles, everything ached from head to toe.

The one person who kept him from falling was stolen. Not even the wings on his back can keep him from falling into the cruel hell hole that is society.

Reaching into the coat pocket his coat pocket he pulled out the box, holding it in his lap. Tears once again spilling down his face. She was pregnant. They were going to have a baby. Someone took away his babies.

She always called Keigo her hero. She promised him that nothing would ever change that.

(Y/n) could be alive somewhere, the investigators came over and informed that there is no sign of a body, but a blood trail that leads to tire marks through one of the connecting alleyways.

Keigo is going to find her. He’s going to bring his babies home. Shower his angel in all the love she deserves. He’s going to fix everything.

Hands clutched the box in a tight grip as razor eyes narrowed at the alley. Keigo could feel his feathers sharpening from his state of anger. There was going to be Hell to pay. Blood to shed. Bones to break. May God have mercy on those who took (y/n), because Keigo will have none to give.

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Edit: I’m not sure if I should just leave it there or make a part 2 so let me know what all y’all think.

#hawks x reader #bnha #bnha hawks #bnha keigo takami #keigo takami #bnha fanfiction #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #hawks #kiego takami x reader

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hwarangbangbang · 3 years

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jin zixuan » captivation

parts - 1 | 2

hello everyone! here is the second part, as requested by @impossibleme09 to captivation! this is a reader insert so if thats not quite your vibe, i understand~ but if it IS your vibe and you have read the first chapter, i hope you enjoy! and i thank all you kind readers for your patience!

title - captivation word count - 3,004 words paring - jin zixuan/fem!reader tags - THE ANGST (for the most part) IS OVER!! hopefully only lovely tings in this chapter, heartfelt emotions, mutual pining, affair, kinda happy ending

Four weeks.

Four long, lonely, dark, desperate weeks had passed since your sentencing by the Gusu Lan Sect, alongside the remainder of the court.

They had dragged you out, kicking and screaming at the verdict whilst they quite literally began to rip apart your only best friend. You could see the look on Zhao Gang's face, the look in his eyes.

At least now, you knew he would be at peace.

You however, were confined for the rest of your days to stare at four stone walls, and a barred window and doorway being the only access you could never have again to the outside world.

On the third day of the fifth week, which you had conveniently kept track of by using a corroded nail to carve the rustic tallies into the floor, you noticed something peculiar going on outside of your cell window. It was faint, given how quiet it always was down in the prison of the Lanling Jin Sect, but you heard it.

The small sound of rustling paper, following by said parchment falling down onto the floor of your cell. Your cell was partially underground, the window starting at the beginning of the ground and only extending up a few feet, so on occasion trash could come in through the slots in the bars, you didn't pay much mind to it.

However, this parchment seemed different. It was a letter.

With curious eyes, you walked over to it, picking up the letter that was sealed with a gold emblem to keep it shut. You knew that sigil anywhere, it was that of the Lanling Jin Sect. When you turned it over, you saw your name beautifully written on the front of it.

Why would a letter be addressed to you, coming from the very sect you were imprisoned at, be coming through your cell window? Couldn't whatever message may be, not be delivered by word of mouth from a guard?

Regardless, you opened up the letter, not caring for the golden wax infused sigil that was ripped in half as you pulled it apart and began to read.

Cultivator [ Y/L/N ], I do hope this letter finds you in good health -- though I do understand your predicament is less than desirable and for that I do apologize on behalf of the court and my sect.

I was present that day, the day of your sentencing, and while I do agree that your choices of alternate methods of cultivation were a bit of an extreme shock to us and to the cultivation world, I believe you do not deserve a life such as this.

You were in mourning for your companion, and it is with my deepest apologies that you must go through it again. I wish for his soul to be carried to the highest of places, awaiting yours in the future.

I would like to help you, should you so want that. You do not deserve to spend the rest of your life trapped as an animal for one mistake. I will leave you this letter, and return just before daybreak for your answer.

Please think over my offer well, I hope to see you in the morning.

Someone... wanted to help you? Someone saw through your scrutiny you were served by the Sect Leaders... the truth? That you weren't a threat, or had any ill will to harm anyone? There had to be a catch, there had to be something -- who would just willingly help you? Definitely not out of just blind trust.

Your stomach turned throughout the night, not even getting so much as a wink of sleep as your eyes were trained on the window, your evening sludge of dinner forgotten on the floor. As the evening darkness turned to a dark magenta and clementine hue, the morning sun shining through the small window, you raised up to your own two feet to pad toward the window.

You raised up on your tip toes, looking out of the barred hole as you curled your fingers around the cold metal and waited. You waited for what had felt like forever, your eyes heavy from the lack of sleep, and just when you felt like giving up on whatever hope had been brewing in your head over the night, you saw a pair of black hanfu boots, the lining instead of white cotton, was a shimmery silk laced gold.

The robe to match could be mistaken for nothing else than a member of the Lanling Jin Sect and it swayed elegantly even from what you could see. The owner crouched down, and you nearly fainted when you saw who's face it belonged to.

"Y-Young Lord Jin?" You gasped, slipping off of your tip toes as you braced yourself against the stone walls of your prison cell. You must have gone truly mad- did your eyes really deceive you?

A small, barely present smile raised along the corners of his mouth, and you had to blink yourself out of your trance to come to terms with the fact that it truly was him. “I hope I have not troubled you due to my early risings, Cultivator (Y/L/N), I needed to arrive during the changing shifts of the dungeon guards.” He apologized, looking left and right before sitting down on his knees, bracing himself on the bars as he peered down at you.

There was an awkward and tense silence between the two of you -- you watching him, a rosy flush coloring his cheeks as he tried his best to maintain eye contact with you.

“So... did you sleep well?”

“What exactly is it you want from me, Young Lord Jin?”

Time. It was something you had plenty of, but in this current moment the anxiety was eating at you -- the apprehension of not knowing -- and your patience was wearing thin as he tried to skirt around the issue at hand.

Jin Zixuan cleared his throat, shaking his head. “I want nothing of you. I want to help you.” He answered, and alas, there was no tell-tale signs of dishonesty anywhere on him. His fingers couldn’t cross behind his back, as they were curled around the cold metal bars. His eyes didn’t shift side to side, as they were trained on you.

So either Jin Zixuan was a really good liar, or he was truthfully only trying to help.

Which prompted you to the question that had been at the forefront of your mind since the moment you received his letter. “Why?”

His brow furrowed, “because, I believe... you do not deserve to be here. Not trapped in here for the rest of your life as a common criminal-” he began, though you cut him off quickly. “How do you know I’m not? How do you know you can trust me not to abuse your position to get what I want? How do you know I will not, upon my freedom, raise another ghost puppet to do my bidding?!”

“Because of your eyes.”

Well that... truly stunned you. You weren’t sure how to counter that, but you didn’t need to, because he continued on in explanation.

“Your eyes show more emotion than you want. I was raised in a family where all I could do was sit and observe. I learned many things during my years, but one was how to spot someone evil.” He said tersely.

“An evil person, someone truly evil, is someone who could not care less of who gets caught in the crossfire of their wrongdoings. They enjoy the fear they inflict, the pain, the agony... But you,” he pointed towards you with an accusatory finger, though didn’t hold accusatory words, “you do not. Your eyes still have that sparkle of innocence.” He finished, but then added, “it’s quite... captivating, if I do say so myself.”

“Even if what you are saying is true-” you interjected, “how do you expect me to escape this prison? There is only one way in, and only one way out -- and it is through that door right there-” you pointed to the doorway cut out of stone, jailed by more bars.

Jin Zixuan smiled, “I’ve lived here my whole life. I know more ins and outs of this palace than you could imagine.” He pulled something from his outer robe as he stood, tossing down another letter into your hands as he looked around. “The guards have switched -- I will leave you more letters with my plans. Keep them hidden, keep them safe.”

And then he was gone.

Days bled into nights, which morphed into the longest few months you had ever experienced. Having nothing to look at but your prison walls, the food becoming more and more inedible as the time went on; if it weren’t for your lingering hope of escape and your track keeping of each day, you were sure you would have gone mad.

But Jin Zixuan kept to his word. Visiting you every single day at sunrise on the dot, sometimes to simply just sit and talk, or to leave you more letters due to his rush to get done his princely deeds of the day. But in all the days you were stuck there, he had become the highlight of your day.

His smile, while regal and reserved, was always genuine. His voice would tell you stories of what was going on in the real world, stories you’d recall as you drifted to sleep each night. He was always helpful, never condescending... and it finally began to dawn on you that you might actually feel something for the Young Prince of Lanling Jin Sect.

This took a while for you to come to terms with. What if it had been just in your head? To be quite fair, he was the only man you had really had any contact with in... god knows how long. What if it was only your imagination that was making you picture the longing in his stares? Making you picture the somewhat suggestive sentences that hinted at wanting something more than just helping you?

But he was engaged... He had told you this much himself. To a woman who didn’t deserve how dismissive he had been to her as of late. That she was kind and sweet and caring, and deserved a better man to call a husband. It was hard for you to hide your dislike for the matter, to hide your jealousy, even as he expressed that it was only for show to keep the big sect families in harmony.

It was all a lot to process, and at the end of the day you at least knew to be true that you did in fact share some semblance of feelings for Jin Zixuan.

Months passed before the day had come.

The day of your escape.

The change of guards would take longer due to the need for increased protection following the wedding ceremony of the Young Lord Jin Zixuan and his bride to be, Young Lady Jiang. You had only seen her a few times in passing, and only had heard seldom things about her -- but you knew one thing for sure: she definitely was lucky to be able to spend the rest of her life by his side. Something at this point you could only wish for.

A knock sounded from the barred door of your cell, and you lifted your head from the ground where you lay to see a familiar face. Jin Zixuan. He was dressed very well, in red robes as was custom for wedding ceremonies, and it honestly looked quite breathtaking on him.

The robe, which was normally a mix of golds and cream colored fabric, was a vibrant red that made his skin glow that much more than normal, it suited his tone well, and his hair was done up with the most royal braids you had ever seen. He looked amazing, and this was most likely the last image you would ever have of him.

At least it was a charming memory to have.

“Are you ready? We have little time, I’m awaiting for the word to begin the entry to the palace for the ceremony. I figure whilst everyone is busying themselves in the wedding hall... this would be the best time.” Jin Zixuan spoke, and you felt a heavy feeling in your heart. But nonetheless, you nodded. Young Lord Jin was not yours to have, he was already spoken for... but yet you still could see a pain behind his deep brown irises.

Jin Zixuan produced a small key from inside his sleeve, and for the first time since your imprisonment, you saw that cell door open and heard it creak. As you stepped outside, into the prison hall, you saw not a single guard was in sight. With a quick look you both shared together, he took your hand and began to lead you down the hall.

You were thankful for his aid, because even if you had managed to conspire this plan yourself, you would have gotten lost easily in the maze of halls.

After what had seemed like forever, you were stopped by his arm curling around your form to jerk you back between two pillars against a stone wall. His hand came clasped over your mouth to silence any yelps that betrayed you from the surprise, and just as you were about to ask him why he had stopped you, when you heard it.

Guards. The clink of their swords. The sound of them talking. You heard at least two to your left, and even more to your right. You looked up at Jin Zixuan with a look of fear -- not for you, but for him. What would happen to him if he was caught helping a fugitive? A criminal?

He didn’t seem to share that same look of fear though, because he reached above him to pull a small pin from what looked like an embedding in the wall, and just like that, the wall behind you disappeared, only to be realigned in place soundlessly.

It had taken you nearly off your feet, if it hadn’t been for the Young Prince’s grip on your waist holding you steady. As darkness encased the both of you, the only light allotted a few torches along the tunnel that lay before you, you felt him move before a rustling of fabric sounded, a dark blue robe being held out to you.

“The less suspicious you seem when you get to the outside world, the better.” He explained, and after the robe was passed to your hands he turned around to politely allow you to change.

You quickly made work of your outer robe, ignoring the blush coloring your cheeks that you were thankful was hardly noticeable in the lighting, slipping on the disguise and making sure it was secure before clearing your throat. “I am finished, Young Lord Jin.” You said solemnly, your head downcast as he turned back around.

He nervously shuffled in place, holding a hand out to you. “Shall we?” He ushered, and you took it gingerly, feeling his warm, big hand, engulf your smaller, colder one as the two of you began to sprint down the tunnel.

You were beginning to run out of breath, panting as you tried your best to keep up with him; but the fact of the matter was you had been confined to a dungeon prison cell for nearly a year in preparation for your escape, you weren’t in the best shape to run this way.

But it wasn’t endless, because at the end of the tunnel was a wall. Jin Zixuan reached up, grabbing onto a small string as he passed it to you.

“If you pull this string, it will remove the pin above your head. The wall will shift open, just enough for you to sneak past... If you continue down the tunnel, it will let you out just outside of the city.” He said, his face alight with the torches next to him. He seemed... nervous, but not because of the big risk he was taking by busting you out.

“I know our time is almost up... but may I please be frank with you if only for a moment, Cultivator (Y/N)?” Your eyes were hopeful as you looked up at him, “of course.”

“We have spent quite a lot of time together over the months, and while I know it is very much frowned upon given our social statuses as well as my pre-arranged betrothal-”

“Young Lord Jin, please, do not hold back what it is you wish to say.” You cut him off, the anticipation nearly killing you.

He looked down at his hands clasped before him. “I... I have begun to grow a liking to you. An attachment I know is not socially acceptable. Once I become Ruler of the Lanling Jin Sect, your crimes would become nothing more than memory -- but that isn’t for a long, long time-“ He was rambling again, and you reached out a hand to steady his own.

You couldn’t quell the joy in your heart as you asked, “would you wait that long? Would you wait long enough til you were crowned leader to see me again?“ You inquired, and he blinked for a moment, before a big smile broke across his face. “I would.“

With all the courage you could muster, all things considered, you leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. They were soft and pillow-like, and he chased your own lips even as you pulled away, unable to hide your happiness and fondness as you pulled on the string.

“Then I suppose our worries of never seeing each other again are nothing to be thought of then, don’t you, Jin Zixuan?”

And just like that, you were running out to your freedom, chasing the future where you could walk in the sun with Jin Zixuan.

general masterlist

#jin zixuan #the untamed jin zixuan #the untamed #mdzs #mdzs reader insert

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magicrowiswritingstuff · 4 years

Text

“Not so good News” - Gabriel x pregnant!reader (2/3)

Part 1 | Part 2 (you’re here) | Part 3

Summary: Part 2 of "Not so good News"! Read the first part HERE. After you had received the news of your pregnancy you feel rather conflicted. On one hand you want this child to live but on the other hand this also means you will die giving birth. Your only option is to enjoy the time you have left with the people you love, forcing your dark thoughts to the back of your head. (F/N) means friend’s name.

Warning: dark thoughts/themes, suggestive themes, heavy angst, swear words, death

Category: angst and fluff, even more angst

Words: about 10.000

Note 1: So it’s finally done… however, because the sequel got so long I decided to split this series into three parts. So this is the second and the last one will be up next weekend (hopefully). Note 2: Also… I finished season 13 (SPOILERS! ahead). Sooo, I guess he’s alive… or at least was. I normally try to avoid spoilers of any kind but after the last episode of season 13 I had to look if he pranked us yet again so I looked up if he would return in any future episodes. NO. Okay, I guess. Doesn’t bother me, not at all. Naaaahh. I’m juts gonna go and … cry in my room now… so yeah. Enjoy my piece of writing.

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"Not so good News" Gabriel x pregnant!reader

Pregnancy Week 4: "You really shouldn't do so much physical labor, sugar" Gabriel commented as he leaned against the side of your car with his arms crossed before his chest. You only huffed, rolled your eyes and continued getting rid of all the blood on the driver's seat of your car. Of course it wasn't easy work, it was hard even because the blood stains were already a day old and dry. But it was your blood and your car and you wanted to clean it. You wanted to do something after receiving the ... news. You needed to occupy your mind. Groaning you grabbed the dishwashing detergent-water mixture and dipped the sponge in it rather aggressively. Muttering under your breath you got back to work. All of this pissed you off. The blood stains, your condition ...this pregnancy. This wasn't how you imagined your life to go or end even. You knew the life of a hunter was dangerous but you always thought that if you wouldn't grow old you would be killed on a hunt ... not after being trapped in the bunker for nine months. This just didn't seem real, it wasn't fair. You scrubbed the car seat over and over again even though the blood was long gone on this spot. This wasn't fair. "(Y/N)." "What?!" you snapped and turned around to face the archangel, steaming with fury and anger. But the moment you met his worried eyes the rage inside of you vanished and was replaced by guilt. By guilt and by anger directed at yourself. Your mood swings were ... you were hurting others again. The sponge fell from your hands and to the ground just like you did too. With your face buried in your hands you sank down, leaning against the car and sobbed. Tears were streaming down your face as sharp cries tore through your throat. This was too much, it was all too much. You didn't want this, not like that. You didn't want to hurt him just because you had no idea what you were supposed to do with your anger. This wasn't fair to him. This wasn’t fair. You felt him beside you, hugging you but you couldn't react. You were horrible. You weren’t fair to him. "Baby ... honey, please. It's alright, you're alright" he whispered into your ear as he pulled you on his lap. Immediately you buried your face into his chest, clawed at his shirt and pressed yourself against him. No. This was all wrong. Wasn't it supposed to be magical? Wasn't it supposed to be great news?! You should cry tears of joy not sadness and anger. This was all wrong. "No" you hiccupped and shook your head. "I'm not alright." You would die. Your days were numbered and you would only live to count them every day. This is not fair. Gabriel grabbed your shoulders and carefully pushed you away so he could look at your face. Whipping away your tears you looked to your side, unable to meet his eyes. But he cupped your cheeks lovingly and directed your gaze back at him. He searched your face for something, a hint. He seemed so worried. It broke your heart. You bit back another sob. "What do you mean?" he asked and pushed back a hair strand that had fallen in your face. "I know this won't end well" you admitted. "I know I will die." The eyes of the archangel widen in shook. Didn't he know? Was he surprised at the news? Maybe it wasn't true? Maybe you wouldn't have to die?

"How do you know this?" You gulped, all the hope you had dared to feel vanished in an instance as you pried off his hands from your face. Slipping off of his lap you curled up with your knees pressed against your chest. "I researched everything about angels, I questioned Cas about everything even before I met you" you said and looked up again, locked eyes with him again. His honey-colored orbs were filled with worry, he was looking at you like this ever since he had found you in your car, almost bleeding to death. You hurt him. Him seeing you so beaten had hurt him. Grabbing his hand you squeezed it out of instinct. "I always knew about the risks of sleeping with you, of unwantedly getting pregnant" you started. "I just never thought it would happen." Immediately you were trapped in another tight hug.

"I'm sorry."

"No!" you yelped and wrapped your arms tightly around him, too. "Don't be sorry! It's not your fault. Sometimes just shit happens." You pressed yourself against him, hugged him so tightly like a baby koala its mother. This wasn't his fault. It wasn't yours either. It was just bad luck, unfortunate, maybe not fair but you would have to live with it. And you wouldn't let that child feel the consequences of this unlucky situation. This child would live and be happy … without you.

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Pregnancy Week 5: Whenever someone would ask you how you were, how you felt you always lied. You always answered with "fine" like it was expected of you. But if you were to be honest you would said you were unhappy, sad, discouraged and miserable even. You felt awful. And your pregnancy symptoms didn't help that either. When you were alone, when you would retreat into your room, your safe zone, you could never hold back the tears. Gabriel wasn't in your room that often since he was an archangel and didn't really need to sleep. He still lied beside you at night and hold you but you would cry more during the day and then pass out at night in his arms. So you lied on your bed all day and just cried until you had no tears left. No one seemed to notice the red in your eyes or the rings under them, the tiredness in every muscle or the emptiness in your facial expressions. Or if they did they didn't dare to address it.

You felt nauseous almost all day, too. You smelled Dean's unholy food and you were ready to throw up again. You smelled your half cup of coffee and you were ready to throw up again. But you needed that coffee. You had reduced it but without it you were unable to wake up. Not that you were very active anyway but it helped a little. You felt ill, like an empty shell of your former self.

"(Y/N)?"

You slowly rolled over so you could look at the door to your room. The worried, honey eyes of Gabriel met your tired ones. Hastily you wiped away the last tears still clinging to your skin and sat up, your blanket still tightly wrapped around you.

"What's up?" you asked, trying to sound happy and energetic even if it made you cringe internally.

"You don't have to pretend" he said and walked towards the bed. You didn't even try to come up with a lie or continue with the act and just flopped back down on the mattress, while pulling the blanket over your head, hiding your teary face from him. You felt the bed dip beside you.

"(Y/N). Please talk to me, sugar" he begged as you felt his hand on your shoulder. Slowly he pushed the blanket from your face, revealing fresh tears that had escaped from your eyes as you helplessly looked at him. A bagging glance, bagging for him to do something you didn’t even know about. Bagging for help of any sort.

"I can't, Gabe" you hiccupped. "I don't know- what am I supposed to tell you? That I'm a mess? That I can't handle this? That I don't even have enough energy to leave the bed at all?" Pressing the palms of your hands against your eyes you forcefully tried to bite back your sobs.

"What do you want to hear, Gabe?" you cried and rolled over so you wouldn't have to face the archangel no more. But before you knew it you felt his arms wrapped around you as he pressed your back against him. The warmth radiating from him soothed you instantly so your sobs were slowly reduced to the occasional hiccup.

"Just tell me that you're hurting. Tell me that you aren't fine. Tell me how I can help you" Gabriel said, pressing his face in your hair. With a sigh you turned around to face him again, not bothering to wipe away the tears this time.

"I don't know, Gabriel" you began. "I don't even know what I can do."

"There has to be something that can help you, even if it's just for a little while."

You closed your eyes and buried your face in his neck. "Just hold me for now."

The next time you opened your eyes the room was dark and the bed cold. At first you just stayed put, with your eyes open and darting around. You wouldn't fall asleep for a while you knew so much. So you sat up, rubbed your eyes and looked around but Gabriel was nowhere to be seen. With a silent groan you wrapped your blanket around you and stood up. Opening the door you listened for any sounds but the bunker stayed silent. Nevertheless you decided to sneak until you had reached the library which was also abandoned and dark. Sitting down on a chair you turned on one of the lamps on the desk and grabbed your laptop. You had this idea in your head for some days now but still you hesitated for a second before eventually pressing the record button. Your empty eyes blinked at you and for a while you just stared right back.

"Hey, baby" you finally said with the tiniest smile on your lips. Pushing back some of your hair you fumbled with your next words. "You probably don't know who I am" you glanced to your side before directing your eyes back to the screen.

"I'm your mother."

You stayed silent for a solid minute after that, just blinking at your reflection.

"I wished I knew what you look like" you began without thinking. "I bet you have Gabe's warm eyes." Shaking your head you put your face into your hands. "What am I doing?" you whispered.

Looking up again you forced a smile on your lips even though you felt your eyes water.

"I love you, baby." You stopped the recording after that and closed your laptop. Hugging your knees against your chest you stared at the desk in front of you.

You heard his steps approach you before you heard his voice.

"(Y/N)?"

Slowly turning around you spotted Sam in the doorway. "Are you alright?"

You considered to lie, to tell him that you were fine and just couldn't sleep anymore. But instead you shook your head. "No-o" you croaked out and stretched out your arms towards him. Sam scooped you up into his arms, hugging you tightly. You couldn't pretend any longer.

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Pregnancy Week 6: Your mood was slowly improving ever since you had decided to stop lying about your feelings. Sometimes you still felt overwhelmed and down however you tried to change that. You didn't have much time and that was a fact so you should enjoy your last months as far as possible. However, this didn't mean you would magically forget every dark and worrying thought.

Your mood swings were slowly decreasing but you still felt nauseous or dizzy from time to time and by now your stomach also felt a little hard and if you squinted you imagined you had already gained a little volume. That didn't really bother you though since it was to be expected. But what annoyed you was that your breasts had begun to hurtfully span. It was an unpleasant continuous ache that drove you nuts. Why did nobody warn you about this? You groaned as you lied in bed and pressed them down a little, trying to release some of the pain.

"If you want to be touched you just have to say so."

Startled you jumped a little as you looked at Gabriel entering your room, a sly grin on his lips as he slowly approached you. You snorted and slapped his hands away when he sat down beside you.

"That's not it, you featherbrain. They just hurt like hell" you explained and crossed your arms before your chest. The archangel huffed with a sulky expression before his grin returned. Before you could react he was already leaning over you, pinning you to the bed.

"I can help you with pain relief, too."

Snorting you decided to play along.

"Oh and how would you do that, Doctor Gabe?" His grin only grew at your response.

"At first I would ask you were exactly you are hurting" he said while snuggling his face into your neck, leaving behind feather-light kisses. You giggled and pressed your hands against his chest, lifting him from you.

"I can tell you: It's definitely not there."

The archangel hummed and nodded. "Maybe there then?" He began to kiss up your neck to your ear, making you giggle even more. "Sto-op, that tickles. An-and you have to go lower anyway."

"Lower, you say?" he asked and looked down at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. You nodded with your face growing hot.

"For now, I need you right there." You wrapped your arms around his neck and brought him down to meet your lips. It neither was a demanding kiss nor really a kiss that had to lead to more but it still was a heated one, a passionate one. You realized that since you had got the news about your pregnancy you hadn't kissed him. You subconscious had begun to avoid physical affection apart from the occasional hug. Immediately you felt tears spring into your eyes and a soft sob left your lips which led Gabriel to interrupt the kiss. Worried he glanced down at you and cupped your cheeks.

"What's wrong? Did I overdo it? Do you need something?" he sounded paranoid. With tears still streaming down your face you shook your head while laughing.

"No, it's just those stupid pregnancy hormones" you said between sobs and giggles. A relieved sigh left Gabriel's lips as he wiped away your tears.

"Don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry" you laughed, covering your mouth with your hands. "But I can't control it."

The archangel shook his head before lying down beside you. With a small smile he heaved you onto his chest, drawing small circles on your back while you tried to calm down again.

"Sorry for destroying the mood" you whispered after a while.

"We can always pick back up where we left off" Gabriel suggested and wiggled his eyebrows. You let out a small laugh again and slapped his shoulder playfully.

"Maybe later."

Gabriel shrugged as far as possible while lying on the bed. After that no one spoke up again and as you slowly drifted off you realized that you hadn't felt so relaxed in weeks.

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Pregnancy week 7: "What?!" Your angry voice echoed through the bunker as you slammed your hands down on the table in front of you. With twitchy eyes you stared at the four men who were set to go on another hunt. Nothing unusual, nothing to be angry about however the news they just gave you were a completely different story.

"I'm not staying in the bunker while you go out hunting!" you declared and crossed your arms before your chest, furiously glaring at them.

"It's too risky" Sam began.

"We won't have a discussion about this" Dean continued while Castiel only nodded, not daring to also speak up with your heated temper. Your eyes narrowed as they wandered towards Gabriel. Raising one eyebrow you waited for his response.

"(Y/N), they're right."

Your mouth fell open. You at least had expected for him to have your back.

"I'm pregnant, not useless!" you finally spat back.

"It's not about being useless!" the archangel raged back, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "It's about keeping you and the baby safe. Can't you see that?"

The sudden energy you had felt because of the anger suddenly vanished and you slumped back onto the chair. You looked away to the side with your arms still crossed before you, searching for the right words.

"I understand that" you began with your voice flat, still not looking at anyone. The bunker was the safest place on earth and since every other angel wanted you dead you knew you shouldn't leave. "But I can't stay here for the rest of my life."

You only had about eight months left and you wouldn't spend them locked away where it was 'safer' for you. You wanted to live as long as you were still able to.

"For the rest of your life?" Dean asked baffled and when you turned around to look at them you also saw Sam's confused look. You only had to share one glance with Gabriel and Castiel to understand that the Winchesters didn't know it yet. You gulped and directed your gaze back at the two brothers.

"I'm dying."

Maybe you should have found better words for it but there was no use in sugarcoating it anyway. Immediately after those words had left your mouth you saw utter horror fill the eyes of Sam and Dean.

"You what?!" the older brother yelped while Sam stayed quiet. You could see the battle in his mind though. Nodding you sighed and let your arms dangle down. Out of instinct they found their place on your stomach which had grown a little over the week.

"If a human gets pregnant with an angel's child... they die while giving birth to the Nephilim" you explained with your gaze stubbornly directed to the ground. Biting your lip you clenched your eyes shut.

'Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry!'

you silently begged.

"Since when did you know?" You looked up again to meet Sam's sad and terrified eyes. You slumped back down and shrugged.

"Pretty much since... ever? Castiel told me a lot about heaven and angels early on" you explained. Dean glanced at Castiel for clarification.

"It's true, Dean" the angel sadly confirmed. The older brother's eyes wandered back to you and then to Gabriel. Even from your seat you could almost feel the furious heat in Dean's eyes.

"You knew it too, didn't you?" he asked the archangel who opened his mouth to answer but Dean wasn't finished yet. "You knew she would die if she ever got pregnant and you still decided to have sex with her?!"

You flinched by Dean's sharp tone and then immediately jumped up from your seat to run around the table and stand between the archangel and the angry Winchester with your arms stretched out to uphold some distance.

"Stop" you ordered with your gaze fixed on Dean. Taken a back he took one step back. "I knew about it too, Dean and I made the conscious decision to have sex anyway. If you want to blame him” you turned around to face him fully and put your hands over each other on your chest, pointing at yourself. “Then you have to blame me, too."

Sam put one hand on Dean's shoulder who shook his head in disappointment. "You're both fucking stupid." He freed himself from Sam and walked out of the library without another word. Defeated you let your arms fall down to your sides.

Sam, Dean and Cas left the bunker the next day, leaving you and Gabriel behind even though they would have been grateful for the archangels help but Dean couldn't look either of you in the eyes. Sam and Cas at least had said good bye even though you knew that Sam felt betrayed, too.

You sat on the sofa in the library, again with your blanket wrapped around you and a bucket on your lap. You had woken up with severe morning sickness and even though you doubted you could really throw up -only dry heaves tore through your throat from time to time- you didn't dare to go anywhere without the bucket today. You were just too exhausted to clean it up later if something should happen.

"Are you feeling alright?"

You turned your head around to look at Gabriel leaning against the back of the coach. You shook your head and let yourself fall back against the cushions. "No, I hate this. I need hugs."

Demandingly you stretched out your arms without another word. Gabriel chuckled and walked around the couch. He put the bucket on the floor beside the sofa and lied down. You flopped down onto him and wrapped your arms around him.

"You got pretty clingy since you're pregnant" the archangel stated.

"Shut up, it's the hormones."

You felt his laughter vibrate against your chest as he began to play with your hair. You didn't tell him that you feared your end and the future of your child. A future you wouldn't be a part of. This was never how you imagined it to go when you were little. You had dreamed of the perfect little family like everyone else. You had never imagined to end up with an archangel either so ... maybe you were doomed from the very beginning. You knew you would die so you wanted to spend as much time as you could with Gabe, Cas, Sam and Dean when you couldn’t spend time with your child. Sighing you closed your eyes. You hoped Dean wouldn't stay mad at you for long.

You slightly sat up, holding your upper body upright with your arms which were placed to either side of Gabriel so you could look him in the eyes. He raised one eyebrow at you in question and for a few moments you just stared right back at him until you felt your cheeks growing hot under his gaze.

"I love you" you mumbled with a faint smile on your lips which he immediately returned.

"I love you too, sweetcheeks."

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Pregnancy week 8: You sat before your laptop again, staring at you through the screen. With a huff you pressed record before you could retreat again.

"Hello, baby" you started with a tired smile. The night before you hadn't slept well and in the morning you always felt rather sick nowadays. Nevertheless you didn't want to delay it again.

"I would love to know what you did today. Tell me if Dean didn't want to teach you how to fight and I will haunt him." You chuckled. Even though you wouldn't be there for your child you kind of guessed they would want to be a hunter. How could you not want to if you knew about everything that was lurking outside? Especially when you were living with the Winchesters on top of that. And you also knew that Dean probably would strive against teaching them at first. You shook your head and continued to talk to the screen for a few minutes more. You didn't even really know about what. What were you supposed to tell them? You would never get to know them. You would never know what they liked.

"Mom loves you, baby" you finished before your eyes could get teary again, waved into the camera before stopping the recording.

With a sigh you stood up and left your room. You had to find Dean and at best with Sam. They had returned from the hunt a few days ago in which Dean hadn't talked to you at all. Sam did talk to you after your reveal however you noticed that he too grew a little distant. You walked through the many corridors of the bunker and finally found the two brothers in the kitchen, sitting on the table. You froze in the doorway when Dean's eyes met yours before he quickly looked away again. He was still angry. Sam kept looking at you and even threw you a little smile though you could tell it was rather forced.

"Hey, Sam" you said quietly, sat down beside him and directed your gaze to the older brother. "Hey, Dean."

He didn't respond and kept staring at something over your shoulder.

"Dean, please" you began. "Please stop ignoring me." You felt tears swelling in your eyes and a sob tearing through your throat. "I don't want to die knowing you hate me."

Dean stood up so sudden that you flinched. Looking up you met his furious stare. "I don't hate you" he said. "But I can't believe you were so stupid. Are so stupid!"

"Dean" Sam warned with a serious glare.

"You knew you could get pregnant and die. And still!" he didn't finish his thoughts but he didn't have to.

"I knew the risks" you defended yourself and wrapped your arms around you in a protective manner.

"But we didn't! Maybe you had prepared yourself for this case but Sam and I..." Dean faltered. "We just now have to come to terms with the fact that we will lose you soon."

You bit your lip and turned away. Squeezing your eyes shut you tried to force back the tears but you were unsuccessful. Sobbing violently you buried your face in your hands.

"I'm afraid, Dean. I don't want to die" you confessed.

"But I especially don't want to leave this world when you two are still mad at me. This child" you put one hand on your stomach. "My child will need you two when I can't be there."

Suddenly you felt two arms wrapped around you and at first you thought they were Sam's but when you looked up slightly you saw that it was Dean hugging you. He mumbled something you weren't able to hear properly, so you just returned the hug, clinging onto him.

"You're so stupid" Dean now properly said but not in an accusing manner. You laughed shallow, whipping away your tears.

"Thanks."

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Pregnancy week 12: You looked at yourself in the mirror with your hands placed on your stomach which already had a small but still quite obvious bump. The baby should have the size of a plum now however you already gained about two pounds of weight. Slowly you stroke over your bump. You weren't able to feel any movement yet but somehow you couldn't stop hugging your unborn child. Maybe because this was the closest you would ever be with them.

You looked up from your reflection to see Gabriel leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed before his chest. You turned your head to meet his gaze and raised one eyebrow in question. "What's up?"

He only shook his head with a smile and walked towards you, wrapping his arms around your middle to rest his hands on the small bump. With a smile you leaned against him and placed your hands on top of yours.

"Nothing, sugar" the archangel whispered in your ear before leaving a feather-light kiss on your neck. You giggled and placed you head on his shoulder so you were able to glance at him from the corner of your eye. He continued to caress the soft, sensible skin while slowly stroking over your belly. You closed your eyes and just enjoy the contact, making quiet humming noises until his hands slowly wandered lower with yours still on top of his hands. Your eyes shot open to meet Gabriel's mischievous ones. He had put his head right beside yours.

"What are you doing?" you asked and wrapped your arms around his neck.

"Enjoying some alone time with my beautiful girl" he answered with a smirk. His hands had found their place on the inner side of your thighs. You couldn't hold back the snort.

"I'm pregnant" you stated. "I have pregnancy acne, raging hormones, morning sickness and I constantly have to urinate!"

"Still beautiful."

You turned around in his arms with one raised eyebrow. "Are you serious?"

The archangel straightened up, looking down at you with warm, sparkling eyes.

"I'm always serious, (Y/N)."

"Biggest lie of the century" you stated bluntly. With your hands against his chest you pressed him a few inches away from you so you could look properly at his face. His eyes never seemed warmer when they traveled over the features of your face. Slowly he wrapped his arms around your middle, sneaking around to the small of your back, tipping you off balance. With little choice given you clung to his chest to safe yourself from falling. You blinked at him expectantly with your fingers curled into his shirt. His mouth hovered only a few inches over yours as the corners of his eyes crinkled up in a smile. He let his eyes wander for a little more until they stopped at your lips. You felt his breath hot on them. Everything you had been worrying about was long forgotten. In this exact moment there were only you and Gabriel, no greater threat, no angels who wanted to kill you, no set date for your untimely end, nothing to worry about. Just you and the archangel you loved. You felt Gabe's arms tightening around you, pressing you even further into him so your feet were uselessly dangling over the floor, only the tips of your toes touching the ground without giving any real support at all. You had never yearned for him, for his touch so strongly before.

His lips brushed over yours in a teasing manner before he quickly pulled away, out of reach even as you moved your head towards him. Groaning quietly to vent out your frustration and annoyance you also furrowed your brows at him.

"Patience, sugar" he breathed with half-lidded eyes. You growled annoyed and shot him a furious glare which only earned you a chuckle from the archangel. One of his hands slowly wandered from your back to one of your legs, slightly lifting it and pushing it against his side. Another groan left your lips as you tried to pull him down to you.

"Hmm, someone's eager" he smirked.

"Oh, shut up already and kiss me!" you demanded while unsuccessfully pressing yourself further into him. It only took him a fraction of a second to close the almost not existing gap between you two. Sighing you let your body relax, you melted into his touch as his lips moved over yours. The kiss didn't start slow, oh no. A kiss with Gabriel always felt hot and needy and this time it also demanded more. You tasted the faintest hint of chocolate still lingering on his lips, sending your senses spiraling out of control. Opening your mouth with a low moan you felt your one leg giving away under you. Not that it was very helpful in keeping you upright anyway. Still rather startled you tightened your grip on Gabriel's shirt, deepening the kiss in the process. Your body felt like it was on fire.

And then the next thing you knew was that you were lying on your bed with Gabriel's body pinning you down into the cushions, his lips never leaving yours. He directed your leg that he still held against him to his waist. Immediately you wrapped it around him, pressing him down to you with another moan.

Your lips parted, allowing you to finally take in some air again. Gabriel pulled back a bit to look down at you with lustful eyes so full of love as his other hand slowly moved over your stomach, caressing the small bump. Then his lips met your neck, gliding over the skin until he had found your weak spot. You closed your eyes and bit your bottom lip but the mix of a moan and a sigh still escaped your mouth as you curled your fingers at his nape. Squirming under him you tried to suppress all the sounds spilling over your lips. Emphasis on tried because you failed miserably.

"Gabe" you panted, clinging onto him as if he was the last piece of wood to save you from drowning. You were in a complete daze, not witnessing anything that could have happened around you, the only thing you noticed was Gabriel and his touches. He let go of your neck, definitely leaving a hickey behind but you didn't care. You would just have to remember to leave one on his neck too. Opening your eyes again you stared at him, your chest raising and falling as you gasped for air. You still felt his hand softly moving over your stomach while your grip around his nape slowly loosened. Gabriel smirked, definitely pleased with his result. Suddenly very self-conscious, you already felt your cheeks getting hot, you looked away. But Gabriel wouldn't let that happen, not on his watch. Cupping your cheek with one hand -the other one had settle on your waist- he directed your gaze back to him as he leaned in closer.

"I love you, (Y/N)" he whispered before capturing your lips in another kiss.

You could only moan into the kiss in response as you continued to enjoy his touches which grew more heated and daring. Not that they had ever been modest to begin with.

Gabriel definitely showed you how beautiful you were to him.

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Pregnancy week 16: You had gained four more pounds, six in total now. The bump was even more noticeable. In fact it grew so much, that you found anything other than leggings unbearable to wear. So that is what you did: Wearing comfortable leggings while wrapped in a blanket on the sofa in the library with a cup of tea in your hands. Since you weren't able to drink much coffee nowadays but still wanted something warm to drink you switched to tea.

You directed the cup to your face when you felt the sofa dip and two arms wrapped themselves around you. With a squeak you tried not to spill anything on yourself and then turned towards the person next to you with sullen looks.

"Gabriel" you warned but he didn't react. Instead he grabbed the cup out of your hands to put it down on the table in front of him.

"What are we both doing today, sugar?" he asked with a wide grin.

"I was just enjoying my tea befo- huh!" you began before you were suddenly pinned underneath the archangel, his face dangerously close to yours. But from so near you saw the worry and sadness in his eyes. Perplexed you blinked at him. "Gabe? Are you alright?"

He shook his head before burying his face in your neck. "Everything is well, (Y/N). You don't have to worry about me."

In that moment it hit you. He is still...

"But you're still worrying about me, aren't you?"

At first the archangel on top of you didn't move. But then you heard him sigh before he finally sat up.

"(Y/N) ... How can I not?"

You huffed and tried to sit up to but since Gabriel had his legs still to either side of you, you weren't really able to straighten up properly.

"Gabriel ... Gabe, listen. I know all this isn't" you paused and shoved him of you so you could sit in front of him and face him properly. "ideal. But I stopped worrying so you should, too."

You hoped he would buy your lie so you immediately continued. You didn't want to think about all this now. You had enough weeks to come to worry about it.

"There are far more fun things to do today anyway."

Gabriel's eyebrows rose as he eyed you expectantly with a wide grin. He leaned forward but was stopped by your hands pressed against his chest.

"Not that kind of fun, Gabe!" you laughed but got pressed into the cushions anyway. Your face got peppered with kisses while you giggled profusely. "Gabriel, sto-" you started but got silenced by his lips on top of yours. You hummed into the kiss, any resistance was immediately forgotten as you melted in his arms. Your arms wrapped themselves around Gabe's neck almost automatically while he held himself upright with one arm and caressed your side with the other.

"Guys, really? Don't you have a room?"

You flinched, knocking heads with Gabriel when you tried to sit up. Groaning you let yourself fall back down. However, the archangel straightened up to face the older Winchester who had just entered the room.

"Come on, I know you enjoy a good show, Dean."

You gasped in shock and pushed Gabriel off of you with your foot. "Gabe!" you yelped and threw a pillow in his face when you saw the pleased grin on his face. Sitting up you looked apologetically at Dean who had one eyebrow raised.

"Sorry, Dean. I was actually waiting for someone to arrive at the bunker before featherbrains distracted me" you explained. "Do you know if they arrived yet?"

"Who?" Gabriel asked, looking up at you since he was still lying on the sofa. You pushed another pillow in his face to silence him and turned around to look at your phone that was lying on the table next to your half empty cup of tea.

"I think a car parked in front of the bunker... I actually wanted to ask you if one of you knew who it was" Dean said.

You jumped up, ran your fingers through your hair to clean it up a little and jogged up the staircase to the entrance door without answering Dean. When you opened the door you saw them in front of you, one hand raised and about to knock at the door.

"(F/N)!" you said excited and hugged them immediately.

"Hey, (Y/N)" they responded with an equally tight hug.

"Thanks, for coming by. I'm unable to leave this place because of safety reasons" you explained after letting go of them and leading them inside.

"No problem, I have everything we need" they said and pointed to the suitcase in their hand. Nodding you walked back down to meet the very confused faces of Dean and Gabe.

"Hey, I'm (F/N)" your friend introduced themselves. "I was (Y/N)'s former partner for hunts.”

“Before she decided to pursue her dreams of being active in the medical field” you added and bumped playfully into her side.

The two men nodded.

"So, what are you doing here?" Dean asked.

You placed your hands on the noticeable bump: "For check-ups. Also, if the baby is lying right we can detect which gender they have."

Gabriel immediately beamed with excitement as he jumped up from the sofa, following you and your friend to your room.

After about twenty minutes your friend had set everything up and you were lying expectantly in your bed with Gabe sitting beside you.

"What do you think it will be?" he asked. You grinned at him.

"I don't know, but they will challenge you nevertheless." He huffed.

"I'm great with children."

"Since when? Have you even seen one?" you laughed which only earned you a slight nudge against your shoulder.

"Are you two ready?" (F/N) asked with a smile. You nodded but flinched as they covered your bare stomach with the cold substance. Looking at the monitor you tried to make out any shapes.

"Look, there is the head" your friend said and traced it with their finger. That was the moment you saw your baby for the first time. Blindly you searched for Gabriel's hand as tears sprang into your eyes. The archangel squeezed your hand reassuringly.

"Can you see what it is?" he asked.

Your friend hummed and moved the scanner around a bit.

"Yup!"

You squeezed Gabriel's hand even more. Your heart beat frantically.

"It's a girl."

You couldn't hold back the sob and immediately turned to Gabriel for a hug.

"We have to come up with a name soon, sugar" he whispered in your ear while drawing circles on your back until you had calmed down again. Damn, you were a wreck today ... any day.

Let's just say: agreeing to one name was a hassle.

Whenever you found a name you liked Gabriel would have some kind of personal conflict with the name.

"What about ... Nidia? This one sounds cute" you said and looked up from your phone to meet Gabriel's eyes. He sat on the other side of the sofa also looking onto his phone.

"I once knew a Nidia. She was very flex-hey!" Gabriel blinked perplexed at you and then at the pillow that you had thrown at him and was now lying in his lap.

"I once told you that I don't care about all your past affairs" you began with a huff. "But are you kidding me? Every name I suggest? Really?!"

Gabriel shrugged his shoulders and grinned. "No one can resist my charm, sug-" he got cut off again by another pillow to his face. He threw you a sulky look.

"Is there one name you haven't moaned?" you asked bluntly and crossed your arms before your chest. He shrugged his shoulders again with a grin which earned him his third pillow.

____________________

Pregnancy week 17: Everything seemed to slowly settle itself in. Your pregnancy acne was gone, your belly was growing profusely and you were motivated to continue the recordings for your baby girl. You had made one every single day for the past week, talking about your life, the pregnancy, your wishes for your baby.

You were also motivated to find a name that had no previous history for Gabriel. Let's just say ... you would have more options if the baby was a boy.

The only thing that calmed your nerves when you had to cross out another name was food. Something you craved right now was hot Cheetos dipped into yogurt. Normally disgusting but at the moment the best thing you could eat. These pregnancy cravings were weird.

However, currently you were lying in bed scrolling through your phone for names again. The archangel was next to you, pressing you against his chest as he looked over your shoulder. You opened your moth to speak but before you could you were interrupted.

"Before you say anything: I knew a Rayna, too."

You turned towards him with a scowl. Pushing him off of you, you rolled over so he could no longer look at the screen. "You are getting on my nerves, Gabriel."

"Sorry, sugar. But-" he started but you snapped.

"When you say something about your charm again I will beat you up with a pillow."

It stayed silent after that for a while but not distant. Gabriel's hand found your stomach almost immediately. You sighed and nuzzled into him.

"Is there no name that comes to your mind?" you asked defeated, looking up from your phone. Gabriel's warm eyes looked apologetically at you as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Sorry, sweetcheeks. The only name on my mind right now is yours" he said and winked at you.

You snorted and slid over to let yourself be wrapped in Gabe's arms. Inhaling his scent you let yourself be lulled into his warmth.

"You are such a smooth talker" you huffed.

"But it works every time" he smirked. You shook your head and punched him lightly in the chest.

"You never shut your mouth, too."

"You know" the archangel began. "I could say the same thing about you."

Perplexed you pressed yourself away from him to look at his face again.

"What?" Gabriel chuckled.

"You recently began to snore while sleeping." Your eyes widen and your cheeks grew hot as you stared at him. Stammering something uncoherent before you shook your head to clear your thoughts.

"I do not!"

Gabriel laughed and hugged you tightly against him again. "Yes, you do."

"I refuse to believe that” you mumbled into his chest before freeing yourself from his hug, still very embarrassed. The archangel shrugged and lied back onto his back. With a sigh you grabbed your phone again and mindlessly scrolled down for a while before randomly stopping. You read all the names listed on that part until you found yourself stuck on one. You sat up, pushing your hair behind your ear.

"What do you think about Liora? I really like its meaning: 'My Light'."

Gabriel thought about it for a moment but you didn't see recognition on his face. Did you do it? Did you find a name he didn't have a connection to? Then he shook his head. "I don't recall knowing anyone with that name. Liora ... yes, that sounds beautiful." You were more than relieved as you slumped back into the pillows.

____________________

Pregnancy week 18: It was all a hoax. Nothing was better. You felt miserable. You were unable to sleep properly again like before you knew about the pregnancy. Your mind just couldn't find rest. Your thoughts were racing every time at night when everything got quiet.

On top of that did the sides of your belly hurt like hell. You had asked your friend about it and they said that it was probably because of your womb expanding. So now you were unable to sleep because of mental and physical stuff. And being pregnant with no sleep meant you were cranky all the time. And when you were cranky you got headaches. And when you had headaches you couldn't fall asleep. It was a vicious cycle.

What you needed right now was your archangel boyfriend. However, that wasn't possible since he was on a hunt with Sam and Dean. Castiel was still in the bunker with you but he would be joining them shortly. He stayed behind to help you with the last parts of research before he would teleport to the location. He was browsing through several books he had displayed on the table while you were leaning over one single book. You were sitting on the opposite side of the table, rereading the last paragraph for the fifth time now and slowly you lost your patience with yourself. Growling you pressed the palms of your hands against your eyes, trying to sooth the throbbing headache that was pounding against your skull.

"Is everything alright?" asked a voice and suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder. Flinching you turned around to look at Castiel. With a sigh you waved him off and looked back down at the book.

"Yes, everything is just peachy."

"I can heal you symptoms if you want?" Castiel continued. You glanced back at him from over your shoulder.

"You can do that?"

The angel nodded. "But it won't last forever since I can't remove the source of your pain."

"Doesn't matter, I just want to have a few minutes without any pain" you explained, turning around in the chair eagerly to fully look at him.

"Can I?" he asked, his hand hovering over your stomach. You looked down at the ever growing bump and nodded. "Of course."

The moment Castiel had placed his hand over it you felt a warmth run through your entire body. A sigh left your lips. And when Cas withdrew his hand you couldn’t believe that you felt nothing other than good. "Thank you, Cas" you said with a smile, stood up and hugged the angel. Rather stiffly he returned it. "Your welcome, (Y/N)."

Cas called Dean after the two of you finished the research and teleported away which meant that you were completely alone right now and had enough time to record something for your baby girl again. You hadn't shown or told anything that you did that. When you were finished you wanted to safe it on a USB stick and tell Gabe to give it to her when she needed it. Because this was something personal between you and your baby.

You sat everything up and pressed the record button.

"Hey sweetie" you waved with a wide smile. Now that Cas had healed your symptoms for a while you felt really good and energetic. You felt motivated.

"You know, I really wished I could spoil you rotten" you confessed and pushed some strains of your hair back with a chuckle.

"But knowing Gabe I guess he is probably spoiling you enough for the both of us."

You fell silent for a few moments as seriousness washed over you. You had no idea how the life of your girl would be but if wouldn't be easy. You were sure that Gabriel and Cas would help her with her angel side and Dean and Sam with her human one. But there were still many dangers out there. She would still be a target for other angels. You shook your head and continued to speak about more cheerful things.

"I wonder what your favorite color is... I guess nothing to girly since you will be surrounded by a lot of guys in your life. However, that could also mean you could lean towards more feminine colors to define yourself and distance yourself from the boys." You huffed, placed your chin on your palm and thought for a moment.

"I'm just gonna follow my intuition and say it's purple. Let me know if I'm right" you winked.

"I should stop. Oh, but before I go: Your Dad and I finally decided on a name for you!" you grinned and took a deep breath.

"Mom loves you, Liora."

And with that you stopped the recording.

____________________

Pregnancy week 19: You were in need of new clothes. Not like wanting to buy new stuff but really, really needing something to wear because of your growing belly and no matter how embarrassing it was... because of your enlarged breasts, too. You needed new bras, okay! Nothing to be distressed about. But damn was it unusual. And okay, you felt really embarrassed by it. It didn't help that Gabriel was obviously staring at them, too. Not that you could blame him…

"Stop it, Gabe!" you yelped and crossed your arms before your chest, pinning the blanket against you to cover your breasts. "That's inappropriate."

The archangel snorted and walked towards your sitting form on the bed.

"I saw you in far more revealing clothes" he explained, now standing directly in front of you. You eyed his hand that slowly creeped closer to your arms. He slowly pushed them down which lead to the blanket falling to your lap, revealing your -by a normal shirt covered- breasts.

"I also saw you naked more than once, sweetchecks."

Looking away you already felt your face heat up.

"It makes me self-conscious" you mumbled.

"Oh, sugar" Gabriel said and hoisted you up on your feet. He intertwined both of your hands and pulled you against him. "There is no need to feel embarrassed. You're always beautiful."

You chuckled and wrapped your arms around his torso, pressing your face against his chest.

"It's still embarrassing. Or at least, I mean ... I don't know! It's just different" you tried to explain. "Everything's so different."

Gabriel hummed, stroking your hair while wrapping his other arm also around you.

"I try to be positive, Gabe" you take a deep breath and buried your nails into his shirt. "But it's hard when you know you will die."

"You know that they are searching for a solution, right?"

You pushed yourself slightly away so you could see his face. "Solution?"

He nodded: "Sam and Dean are looking for something that can safe you. Something maybe not even we angels know about."

"What? They can't!" you yelled shocked which earned you a confused face from the archangel. You shook your head.

"Stuff like that, plans like that never end well" you stopped and took a deep breath. "It always ends with someone else sacrificing themselves and I won't let them do that for me."

Gabriel tightened the hug again, pressing you against him again.

"I'm sure they won't do anything stupid" he tried to reassure you.

"Okay, now that is the biggest lie of the century" you said with a snort.

"Oh, can you help me with something, Gabe?" you asked, pushing away again to look at his warm eyes.

"Anything you want, sugar" he said and wiggled his eyebrows. Rolling your eyes you freed yourself from his arms. "Not that kind of problem, Gabriel. I need new clothes" you pointed down at you. "And since I can't leave I need you to work your magic and produce me a new wardrobe that will fit." The archangel snapped his fingers immediately and then gestured to your closet.

"Done."

You opened the closet door and nodded before turning around to face him again with a smile.

"That reminds me: We need to get a few more things."

It was now a few hours later and you were currently looking for Sam and Dean. You desperately needed to talk to them about their probably very stupid plan. And low and behold where did you find them? The library, researching some way to safe you.

"There is no way" you said, leaning against the door frame. Immediately the heads of the two men turned to you. "What do you mean?" Sam asked and desperately tried to cover up the book he was reading. Dean instantly stood up, walking towards you.

"Are you alright?" he asked which made you sigh and roll your eyes.

"Yes, Dean. Don't try to distract me, though" you warned and sat down in front of Sam. "I know what you two are doing and I won't allow it."

Sam rose an eyebrow in uestion while Dean sat back down.

"You two are trying to find a way to safe me."

"And?" Dean huffed. "We just ... Don't want you to die."

"Dean, you-" you stopped and took a deep breath. "Do you realize to what this always leads? How it always ends?" The two Winchesters watched you silently.

"It always leads to someone else sacrificing themselves and I won't let you do that for me. I forbid it!" you slammed your hands on the table and stood up, trying to fight back the tears.

"Why (Y/N)? We can decide that for ourselves" Dean challenged you, also standing up.

"No, you can't because I am the one who would have to live with the sacrifice!" you screamed. After that everything seemed to stand still. You blinked unmoving and then slowly straightened up, crossing your arms before your chest. You took a deep breath.

"I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew about the risks. It's my decision to let this baby live and to bear the consequences" you clarified. Shaking your head you turned away from the two brothers who hadn't dared to speak up again and walked towards the door. When you were standing in the frame you turned to face them again.

"Come with me. I want to show you two something."

You led them in front of your room. With your hand on the handle you turned to look at them again. Then you opened the door energetically. Coming to light was your newly decorated room. You entered with the Winchesters in tow and sat down on the bed.

"Gabriel and I decided to make my room baby proof" you explained and then let them see for themselves. The complete left side of the room was now decorated like a kid’s room. Next to your bed stood a crib with a fitting mobile attached to it. On the wall next to it was a diaper-changing unit and a few shelves with books and toys inside of it. A soft fuzzy carpet was draped on the floor and some star and moon stickers were on the left wall now. You sighed and grabbed the romper which laid next to you on the bed while Sam and Dean's eyes were still fixated on the new furniture.

"You will have a lot to do in a few weeks" you said with a grin, your eyes glued to the onesie in your hands. Then you turned it around so you could show them the print on it. On the front it read "Princess".

"Because it will be a little girl." You hadn't told them this before now. Somehow you didn't know how you should do it but you couldn't delay it anymore.

Sam immediately had a huge smile on his face as he took a step forward, reaching a hand out, asking you to hold the romper. You gave it to him with a small smile. In the mean time you focused on Dean who was still frozen, staring at the wall.

"Dean?" Your voice seemed to snap him out of it. But when he turned towards you, something you weren't prepared for were tears. "No, don't" you said, already feeling your own tears wetting your eyes. "You will make me cry, too."

You stood up and wrapped your arms around the older Winchester. "I don't want to cry today."

It stayed quiet for a few moments before you felt Dean's grip tighten. "(Y/N)" he started. "How do you expect of me to not search for another solution?" You didn't answer since he wasn't expecting one anyway. "You're family, (Y/N). I can't just let you die."

You sobbed, pressing even further into his chest.

"You know I don't want to die, Dean" you said. "But what I want even less is one of you dying because of me." It got silent after that again, neither spoke up.

"My baby girl will need you, Dean. Please stop searching for a solution that will cost more than I'm willing to give. For me, as my last wish."

"… okay, (Y/N)."

To be continued: Part 3 is here.

____________________

#supernatural #supernatural gabriel #supernatural gabriel x reader #gabriel x reader #gabriel image #supernatural image #supernatural dean #supernatural sam #supernatural castiel #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #castiel #supernatural characters #image #x reader #female reader #pregnant reader

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itsamejin · 4 years

Text

the one that got away || hendery angst || part 2 (finale)

Part 1

Summary: Some days you don’t regret the decision to leave him, but most days you do.

Warning: self-hatred, insecurities, mutual pining

Genre: angst, fluff, mutual pining

Pairing: Hendery x reader

Premise: You two broke up and that should’ve been the end of it, but he sends you a message and all of a sudden it isn’t.

Commission Request: @iron-lix

Word Count: 4,164 words

—

hey, its guanheng. just got your new number lol, wanted to know if you would like to catch up sometime and talk? Idk… just text me back if u want to

You were tempted to delete it, bury it in your trash bin along with all the other concerned messages Guanheng sent you before you blocked his number. It would’ve been the right thing to do, to end any sort of contact before you could hurt yourself further. Insecurity nagged at the back of your brain, yet you find yourself texting him back anyway.

if you want

Short. Simple. Enough to get the message across, but not enough to make him think you were desperate. Did you come off as desperate? Please, don’t make him think-

omg

u actually replied!!

how are you???

and im free on sunday

do u wanna meet up then?

The bombardment of texts brought a sad smile to your face. It really was him. It was Guanheng. No person used question marks as liberally, no person sent that many texts consecutively. You hesitate to answer. Too much could go wrong for you to risk seeing him again. You could break down in tears and be left in the dust, similar to how you had left Guanheng just a year earlier.

You convinced yourself that there was nothing left to talk about, there was no more closure needed. You two broke up cleanly and it should stay that way.

i’m doing fine, and yeah i’d love to :)

Your thoughts contradict your actions and you find yourself burying your face in your hands, frustrated at how easily you agreed. What the hell was wrong with you? You blocked him for a reason, you wanted to get over him. Agreeing to “catch up” with an ex wasn’t getting over him. You would only end up missing him more after all was said and down.

What made you think that you deserved to see him after all you had done?

—

At a small cafe on the outskirts of Macao, you reconsider every decision you made that led up to this point. You fiddle with your fingers, wondering why you even decided to paint your nails like he’d even pay attention to them in the first place. You scratch at the polka-dotted dress you wore, cursing at yourself for wearing his favorite color- pink. You purse your lips, regretting putting on such heavy makeup to hide the dark circles that formed underneath your eyes from the sleepless night you had. You couldn’t get a wink of rest knowing you’d see his face again after so long.

You should’ve just stayed home, should’ve just blocked his number as you did all those months ago.

“Hey,” a gentle voice calls out, interrupting your negative thoughts. “Wow, I can’t believe it’s actually you.”

You look up from your lap, Guanheng staring at you with the brightest smile on his face. He takes the seat across from you hesitantly as if he still wasn’t sure he came to the right table. No one recognized him here in this reclusive cafe, but he still couldn’t find it in himself to relax. Especially with you in front of him.

“It’s been a while,” you smile sadly. Your voice was shaky and Guanheng noticed. He noticed everything.

“Did you order yet?” he asks, equally nervous, but with a large grin on his face. His hand reached out to grab a piece of paper on the table thinking it was the menu. Sadly, it was not. You giggle slightly at his awkward expressions as he slid it back to where he got it from.

“That’s the placemat,” you inform him. “They were planning to give us the menu when you came.”

He cringes at himself. ‘Why do I always find a way to fuck things up?’ he cries in his mind. Guanheng thought he could’ve introduced himself more smoothly.

“Y-yeah,” he scratches the back of his head. “I probably should’ve known that.”

You two sat in silence even as the waitress planted the menu on the table. You let Guanheng order for you, surprised he still remembers your favorite drink. You wonder if his stayed the same too.

“...and I’d like a black coffee,” he smiles widely, bidding the waitress goodbye. He sees the small scowl etched on your face, but doesn’t quite know why. He used to never drink black coffee. It was too bitter for him and he always overreacted when the liquid would touch his tongue. You couldn’t believe that had changed in just a year- just like him.

You inspect his face blankly as he chatters about something nonsensical, trying to fill in the silence that you had left him with. Guanghen’s hair is shorter now, trimmed in a way that highlighted his boyish features perfectly. He wore a dress shirt, cuffed at the elbow. He wouldn't have been caught dead looking so suave in the past, opting for comfortable hoodies and beanies so ill-fitted that they hid his eyes. You were looking at Hendery, a version of him that existed on magazine covers and photo cards. You clutch the ends of your dress. See [Y/N]? He’s fine without you.

He stops his talking when he notices your lack of enthusiasm. You used to love hearing him talk, but you looked at him with such emptiness that he wondered if his voice was grating in your ear. He stares at you too, a sad glint in his eyes. Your face, although beautiful, was tired and sunken. You had a dullness in your complexion. You no longer glowed as you used to when he was yours- or to put it in terms that he liked better- when you were his. You shake him out of his own wallowing thoughts.

“How’s Korea?” you ask, knowing he had been promoting there recently. You hear from his friends that he loves it there, that the European-esque streets of Macau got too boring for him. He liked the hustle and bustle of Seoul, the capital of entertainment and fast-paced living. “Your new album doing well?”

Guanheng is happy that you asked, afraid you had lost interest in his work after the breakup. He was so afraid you had lost interest in him.

“It’s been great!” he nods thoughtfully. “We’re planning something soon, so I only have a week here before I go back. It’s been hectic...”

You purse your lips. It must be rough on him, only getting to stay with his family for such a short period of time. Guanghen must miss it- all of this. The city, the humidity, the people... maybe not you, but maybe the memories that came with the relationship. You sure miss it too.

“How about you?” he breaks the silence, noticing that your glances were drifting off somewhere else. “Anything interesting going on in your life?”

You shake your head and give a fake smile. He hates seeing it. Guanheng would prefer for you to curse him out than for you to act fake towards him. It’s like you couldn’t let your guard down with him... and he used to be the only person you let your guard down with. This wasn’t how usually were, but then again, he hasn’t seen you in a year. Could you have changed so drastically that the sight of his face made you that uncomfortable?

“Nothing notable,” you sigh, staring past him rather than right at him. “I’ve been thinking of moving out of Macau for a fresh start, you know? Somewhere new...”

‘Somewhere that doesn’t remind me of you,’ you say silently to yourself. You see a flicker of a pained expression, but you get distracted when the waitress delivers water to the both of you. You stir the water with the straw, glad you found another distraction to keep yourself from making eye contact with Guanheng.

“I wouldn’t have an excuse to visit,” he says teasingly, but you could feel grit in his tone. “if you weren’t here.”

You blink rapidly, not quite registering his words. What was he saying?

“What about your family? Your friends?” you question. There were a lot of things that came with this city, it’s not like you were the only one living here. You figured you’d be the last thing on his mind these days. Guanheng just shrugs.

“They visit me often,” he sighs. “But you don’t. You never visit.”

He gives a sad chuckle, sipping from his cup lowly. Your mouth opens, but not a sound comes out and so you close it again. How were you supposed to respond? Guanghen sighs at your silence.

“You blocked my number.”

Your heart cracks at the sound of his voice. He played around with the straw, refusing to look at you. He sounded... sad and you wondered if the reason for his sadness was you. Weren’t you usually the reason?

“Guanheng-” “You don’t have to say anything,” he stands up straight, a panicked look on his face. He realized then that he made the atmosphere even tenser than it already was. “I’m not here with any other intentions except to talk to you. I know... I know that...”

He couldn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t know how to without sounding desperate. ‘[Y/N] I know that it’s been a year, but would you like to start over even though you might not have feelings for me anymore?’ Yeah, no way he would be caught dead saying that out loud- not when you looked at him with such emptiness.

“What’s wrong Hendery?”

You wonder why the person with the brightest smile in the world had such furrowed brows as he looked into your eyes. And maybe that was your first mistake. Calling him by his stage name.

“Hendery?” he scoffs.

“I’m sorry,” you say a little shocked at his angry expression. “Did I overstep-”

“Why would you call me that?” he asks with sad eyes. “Why are you treating me like I’m a stranger?”

Your last chance at getting closure and you had said something wrong that made him uncomfortable. You blew it, didn’t you? Of course, how could you be such an idiot?

“I’m so sorry I didn’t-”

“Hendery,” he repeats, still shocked at your words. “You never call me that. Not even when we dated.”

Dated. Past tense. He wasn’t yours anymore and you needed to accept that. Guanheng was right there telling you to. You were out of your mind for thinking this was going to turn out like you expected, that he would walk back into your arms without hesitation.

“I can’t do this,” you say abruptly, standing up from your seat. “Guanheng I’m sorry it was a mistake even meeting up with you.”

“[Y/N]-”

You walk past the table, feeling bad for the cafe workers that were oblivious to your sudden outburst. You took out your wallet from your shoulder bag, setting down cash to make up for the food that hadn’t arrived at your table. The worker stared at you with large eyes.

“Ma’am-”

You were already out the door, tears threatening to spill over. Guanheng came to talk, came to have a chat with an old friend that happened to be his ex-girlfriend and all he got was an awkward conversation that showed how broken you were without him. You walk and walk, missing the bus stop that you were supposed to wait at until you hear rapid footsteps behind you.

“[Y/N] wait-”

Guanheng wraps his fingers around your elbow and pulls you to face him. You couldn’t bear to look at him, staring at your feet rather than his face.

“Just let me walk you to the bus stop. It’s dangerous for you to walk alone,” he says, the hand that was on your elbow was shaking. “I’m sorry for acting weird back there. It wasn’t even something serious and I freaked out over nothing-” “No,” you say shaking your head, pulling his hand away from you. He felt empty now that you were out of his reach. “I was the one that overreacted.”

“Don’t,” he says sadly. “Don’t apologize to me.”

You finally gather the guts to look up at him directly, but you regret it almost immediately. You notice up close that he’s still the scared kid who couldn’t believe he was called in for an audition by a massive foreign company. It makes you want to embrace him, comfort him from all his worries, and tell him that it’ll be okay. Except it isn’t. It hasn’t been for a while.

—

Under a flickering streetlight, you sit at the bus stop’s bench with tense shoulders. He sits farther away from you, careful of the watchful gazes from the public and any sneaky cameras around patiently waiting for him to mess up.

“I miss taking bus rides late at night,” he admits, not looking at you in fear of people watching. “It feels different somehow.”

You smile sadly.

“Yeah. We used to ride one from school together.”

He nods, biting the inside of his cheek. Words used to flow naturally when he was with you, but he had to go and mess it up at the cafe by feeling offended over something that was trivial. So what if you called him by his stage name? It's been a year since he’s last seen you- of course, you’d have been more cautious about what to call him. He was stupid, so hopelessly stupid.

“I miss the rivers too,” he mutters. “I miss those overpriced boat rides tourists would pay for.”

He chuckles sadly, reminiscing of a time when you had gone with him. When you were his and he was yours.

‘Most importantly I miss you,’ he thinks to himself, but he balls his hand into a fist before he could say anything else. You hated this, hated that he always held back before saying the most important thing.

“Guanheng,” you start, heart beating rapidly from your chest. “Why did you want to see me?”

His eyes waiver and you could see it glisten in this light. Did you say something that made him uncomfortable yet again?

“I just,” he swallows, not finding the right words, “wanted to see if you were doing okay.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he replies, “I feel like you’re doing fine.”

‘Without me,’ he screams in his head. Guanheng doesn’t notice you bowing your head or the tears that had started to form in your eyes. He was too caught up in his own tears that threatened to spill over, but he convinced himself to hold it in.

“Well, I’m not,” you broke out with a cry, already knowing you were past looking pathetic. You let the tears fall onto your lap. He doesn’t notice at first, but Guanheng snaps his head to you, no longer caring about his surroundings. He slides closer, patting you on the back.

“What's wrong?” he asks worriedly. “Did I say something again?”

“No,” you say, looking up at him and he swore his heart sunk at that moment. Even when you broke up with him your eyes never looked this hurt. Guanheng didn’t even know he had that effect on you anymore. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Well obviously I did if you look like this right now,” he says angrily, more at himself than at you. He wipes away the tears from your eyes, but it only made you wail harder. He was still so good at comforting people, still so gentle. You wished that he wouldn’t stare at you with such caring eyes and give you false hope- hope that he wanted you back just as much as you wanted him. It wasn’t right to be feeling this way when you were the one that broke up with him. You had no right.

“I’m so sorry,” you cry out, holding onto his arms to steady yourself.

“What are you sorry for?” he asks worriedly. His eyes, too, were turning red.

“For ignoring you when you needed me most.”

A silence falls between you two and his grip on you tightens. This was a conversation you two should’ve had a year ago. He didn’t quite know why it was being brought up now, but at least now he can ask what he’s been dying to figure out.

“Why did you block me?” he questions solemnly. “Why did you agree to be friends and then just cut me off like that?”

You purse your lips.

“I’m sorry for-”

“Please,” he begs, hands letting go of you. “Answer me just this once.”

You try to gather yourself but fail miserably. How could you when this was potentially the last time you’d ever see Guanheng again?

“I was scared,” you answer truthfully.

“Of what?”

You take a deep breath and sigh.

“That you might hate me.”

Guanheng tips your head to face him, a serious look on his face.

“I’d never hate you.”

He looked at you with such softness- the kind you haven’t felt in so long. At that moment you could trust him, at that moment you felt like everything would be okay.

‘It’s alright if he does,’ you think to yourself. If he hates you then fine, but you needed to tell him one last time. Then there’d be no regrets. Maybe then you’d have the guts to finally leave, start anew in a place that didn’t remind you so much of him, but that’s probably impossible to do because Hendery was the sun itself, and you were just you.

“I still love you,” you whisper solemnly, “and I hated that you let me go so easily when it was so hard for me to let go of you.”

His mouth falls open and you swear you see hurt in his eyes, so you turn away. Regret always came after your worst decisions.

“You thought I let you go easily?”

A stray tear had fallen down his cheek.

“I’m so sorry I-”

“Stop being sorry,” he pleads. “I hate hearing you apologize when it was my fault too.”

You look up at him, confused.

“I should’ve fought harder for us,” he continues. “I should have told you that I loved you back then and that I could’ve made it work. I can’t believe you thought I was okay with breaking up. I said we should stay friends just so I could have an excuse to talk to you again and you kept ignoring my texts and I thought I was being annoying and-”

He always used to ramble a lot when he was anxious. Guanheng takes a deep breath and puts your hands in his. The bus was not coming anytime soon.

“What I’m trying to say is,” he mutters. “I still love you too.”

You shake your head, refusing to believe his words. He just felt sorry for you, he didn’t mean-

“I tried dating other people,” he says matter-of-factly, breaking your heart a tiny bit because you hadn’t. You never tried to venture past him because it had always been him, always.

“Guanheng, why-”

“But it just didn’t work out,” he cuts you off, swallowing his saliva nervously, “because they weren’t you.”

You open your mouth to speak but he cuts you off again.

“I sent you text after text asking you to take me back,” he sighed sadly. “But I never sent them because I knew you wouldn’t even see them anyway. I told the guys about you and they said it was a lost cause, that I should move on.”

“But you didn’t,” you whisper, touched by his words. Guanheng shakes his head.

“I didn’t,” he smiles as he intertwines his fingers within yours. “And maybe it’s messed up to say this, but I’m glad you didn’t either.”

You laugh with him, the tears dried by now. You look at him, his eyes crinkling so beautifully as he smiles.

The bus came seconds after under the flickering street light where you two share a chaste kiss. His lips tasted the same and you can’t help but grin.

It was still him. It was still Guanheng.

—

He walks with you, his hand bumping into yours one too many times that he just held yours in his. It didn’t feel real, being so close to him again. Maybe you had gone through hurdles to get to where you two were now, but at least he was back where he wanted to be- by your side. You two talk about anything and everything and let a comfortable silence fall in between you two when there wasn’t a need for conversation.

Guanheng asks you what you watch recently. Netflix documentaries. You ask him what songs he listens to nowadays? You cringe when he says Justin Bieber. He laughs when you laugh, walks at the same pace as you, calls you pet names. It’s like he never left, but you knew that in a week from now, he will leave. And maybe you’ll go back to wallowing in your own sadness again.

You’re already at the steps leading to your house, but he refuses to let you go, so you let him inside. He smiles at the lack of change.

“My stuff’s still here,” he says in awe, picking up the small robot figurine that was propped up on your coffee table. You fluster at his words.

“I didn’t have the heart to throw them away,” you mutter. He smiles at you.

“Do you still have my clothes here?” he asks. You panic.

“Oh, do you want them? I can go-”

“So I can stay the night then, right?” he asks seriously. You wonder if he thinks himself a comedian. You punch him in the arm with a puff of your breath.

“We haven’t even seen each other for more than a day and you-”

“Not like that,” he chuckles, realizing what he had implied with his statement. “I just want to sleep here. With you. Innocently.

You stare up at him, unconvinced.

“Aren’t you worried that I’ll get kidnapped?” he whines, giving you those puppy dog eyes that you missed so much. You miss him so much.

You click your tongue at him, walking to your bedroom as he follows right behind. You scathe through your closet, pulling out the comfy clothes he always wore. You could never admit to him that you’ve been sleeping in them for the past year since he was gone. He takes them from you.

“Then I’ll go change,” he says with a cheeky smile. You roll your eyes, getting dressed for bed as well. Guanheng takes a seat on your bed and lays down next to you. He watches you silently for a while before he starts stroking your hair.

“Move to Seoul with me,” Guanheng jokes casually. You take him seriously for a second, but notice the Cheshire grin on his face and decide to play along.

“I don’t know anyone there,” you pout, squeezing his hand lightly.

“You know me.”

You roll your eyes.

“You know that’s not enough,” you scoff. “I need a job, I’ll miss my family and-”

Why were you taking this so seriously? Your face heats up with embarrassment. How could you let yourself be carried away by his simple teasing?

He smiles at you, patting your head softly.

“Then, I’ll just keep coming back to visit, I guess,” he replies. “Unless you’re still planning to leave?”

You pondered for a bit. You did need a change of view, a change of pace. You had spent a year in this apartment wallowing in self-pity. It wouldn't be so bad to move somewhere new, would it?

“If I go to Seoul,” you start off hesitantly, “What does that mean for us?”

He looks at you, confused. The atmosphere had turned somber without him noticing.

“What do you mean?”

You hesitate to ask, still confused as to where he stands. Dating an idol was hard, you knew that. Did he?

“Will I be your girlfriend again?”

He scoffs.

“I thought that was a given.”

You smile, but there was a hint of sadness in your eyes.

“I’m not good at being there for you, Guanheng,” you admit. “I have so many flaws and you have to put up with so many of them-”

“You put up with mine,” he says, inching closer to you. You shake your head.

“I’m not a good girlfriend.”

He shoots you a glare, pulling you into his arms and burying his face into your hair. Guanheng hated in when you talked about yourself like this.

“You don’t have to be,” he says. “I want you to be [Y/N], not just my girlfriend. You just have to be okay. I want you to be okay.”

You feel the prick of tears in your eye and nod into his chest. You need to trust him. You have to.

“I’ll try,” you say, drifting off into sleep. “This time I’ll try.”

And this time he won’t let go.

—

A/N: Super hard writing this because it’s been like uhhhh more than a year, but I’m glad I got to do it. Thank you @iron-lix for commissioning this and being so sweet and patient. I hope this was up to your expectation! Check out her blog for cute WayV fics!

I’ll be starting on my drabble game after I finish my last two commissions. Writers block is starting to get to me guys, so I’ll try to pace myself better in these next few days. Again thank you to everyone for being so kind in your messages and asks to me. I really feed off the positive vibes, you guys really know how to make me feel special T^T

give me a coffee?

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moonlitmessages · 4 years

Text

Reasons I think Saeyoung has ADHD

- Messy house. Hard to keep it clean. Everything just kinda piles up and he relies on Vanderwood to not live in a pig sty.

- He says early in his route (day five first story mode I think. When Vanderwood is first introduced) he says that Dr. Pepper helps him focus. He drinks it and gets super focused, but then the mess piles up even more because of the soda cans.

- Super smart, especially about very specific niches. I mean he's smart in general but also has his Thing™ (this can be applied to both ADHD and the autistic spectrum. )

- Insomnia. This is part of his work obviously as well but he's clear about the fact that his sleep schedule is hecking out of whack.

- Can't focus?? Let's do everything besides the thing we need to do. Even though it will do nothing to help the situation at hand.

- Cars. Going nyoom down the road could help with stimulation and sensory issues that come with ADHD. Something about the speed just makes it make sense.

- Hyperfocus. "Don't bother me I'm trying to work". Being so focused on work that he doesn't take the time to really even order a hot meal. Forgets to eat and sleep sometimes because of it. (a lot of instances it's simply that he CAN'T or he won't meet deadlines too so that also has to be kept in mind). Building robots out of thin air too is an example.

- Inattentive. When not super focused its almost like a disinterest in anything. His focus is on MC? Well gotta do something for MC. She'll like a flamethrower pup. That will keep her safe. Wait no it wont...I thought it would tho. Gotta work!! No but MC isn't safe. (Inattentive to his work cause super focused on MC)

Symptoms of ADHD include:

Disorganization

- This goes along with the messy house. There’s a picture where he’s shown surrounded by chip crumbs. Vanderwood claims that his couch smells like soda. There are likely aspects in which he can actually be quite organized, but those would likely be in reference to his job, and computer/automotive repair.

Lack of focus

- This happens a little bit through different routes, where he complains about not being able to focus and doing some procrastinating, but for the most part the biggest example is the very beginning of his route where his focus is faltered because his mind is on MC. While that is a normal reaction to have for anyone regarding what was going on, it can’t be ignored that 1.) He WAS unfocused to the point he couldn’t do anything besides worry, or work on things that ‘Could help protect MC” regardless of if they were useful or not. and 2.) Dr. Pepper is part of the reason he is able to focus on things when he DOES focus. He says this himself in the first story-mode for his route. That he drinks it, then gets super focused. Caffeine has been proven to actually help the ADHD brain focus.

Act or speak without thinking

- “Im leaving the RFA”, breaking the RoboCat, and some of his procrastinating during his route could be considered put into this category. Also, I know he is by all technicalities saying things with thought in regard to MC when he’s saying hurtful stuff, however I still think it could be put in here because while it was said with the thought “I want to make sure MC stays away from me so she will be safe,” it’s without thinking about how he feels/what he wants and he ends up regretting it down the road.

Restlessness

- Lets see, he has trouble focusing and when he can’t focus he ends up doing other stuff to keep his hands and mind busy. He has sleep troubles. I doubt he can sit still very easily if he isn’t super-focused on something life-or-death and/or a special interest. A good example could once again be the robo-animals he built. His focus was somewhere else, there’s little he can do to remedy the situation, he gets restless and tries to occupy himself with something he CAN focus on.

Difficulty coping with stress

- Source: His Whole Route

Mood Swings

- What I’m seeing as mood swings could also just easily be his stress and anxiety in the situation during his route causing him to bounce back and forth/ the mask he tries to put up to protect MC from getting involved with him being thrown up when he feels like he’s letting her to close. But nonetheless there are points where he will just seem sad and melancholy then get angry.

Anxiety

- I mean idrk how to explain this one for him, I don’t necessarily think that he has social anxiety, but maybe general anxiety (tho I’m not really sure how to explain how I see that in him) but regardless when he does experience pressure, he seems to have heightened anxiety levels. It just makes sense in my head so take this one a little lighter than the others.

Low self esteem

- ‘I’m not a good person” “Why do you like me?” I would say that when it comes to his looks he’s fairly confident. But when it comes to his personality (I mean he has a whole identity crisis) and actions, it’s a whole other story. He puts himself down a lot because he genuinely thinks that he doesn’t deserve MC and that she should be with someone better than him.

Impulsiveness

- Again, breaking Robocat. Felt impulsive and done without thought. His car rides could also be considered impulsive depending on how risky and speedy they may be. I recall at one point he texts MC while driving.

Trouble controlling anger

- Source: His Whole Route

Procrastination

- I feel like I keep bringing up the robo animals a lot, but they were also a form of procrastinating his work. (I suppose there are a lot of things that could be tied to those animals then, or maybe I’m just reading to deep into things). Uhm, idk I can’t think of anymore examples atm, and I know he tries not to procrastinate super important stuff. I feel like if I were to play the game again (it’s been a couple weeks) I would be able to find more examples for this even on a minor scale. Sometimes him teasing Yoosung could be seen as both him trying to relieve some stress and put off doing his work.

~•⭐ D e p r e s s i o n ⭐•~

- Yes I know his depression comes from trauma and abuse. However ADHD overlaps with different disorders quite commonly. A lot of his ADHD symptoms overlap with depression as well, such as the disorganization, mood swings, and insomnia. And depression can very often accompany ADHD too just simply due to the fact that mental illnesses do tend to come in multiples, and also the ADHD itself can be a contributor to depression.

Those are 12 different signs that he might have ADHD...and of course I’m no doctor. Everything that I listed were things that I found through an attempt to analyze him and his route, and online research regarding ADHD. I’m sure there are things I might have over-analyzed and taken some things out of context as it has been a couple weeks since I finished his route...So feel free to add your own thoughts/opinions, regardless of if you think I’m right or wrong. This has been in my drafts for a while and I finally got it finished and will likely go through editing later but I want to post it now. If anything is hard to understand let me know and it will get fixed to the best of my ability.

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crystaljins · 5 years

Text

Take a chance. | 02

Characters: Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 7.3K

Synopsis: You should have known the second your business partner asked you to plan his best friend’s wedding as a favour that it was going to be nothing but trouble. Especially when it turns out he’s in love with said best friend. And dying of a deadly disease because of it.

Hanahaki!au

Notes: The first three parts of this fic went through at least three different drafts. I changed the approach and character features so many times that this story isn’t even recognisable from the initial draft. But, once I added ma boi Kim Seokjin, this story finally hit a place that I felt I could happily write.

Warnings: Angst. Graphic depictions of vomiting. Mentions of illness and death.

Masterlist

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

“Thank you for meeting with me today.” The man says as he slides into his seat. He’s wearing dark sunglasses that obscure most of his face and a black bucket hat is pulled low over his brows. Perhaps he is trying to be inconspicuous, but the large trench coat and obvious attempt to conceal his identity just make him seem more suspicious. Not only that, the price tags hanging off his outfit clearly show that he’d only just bought them.

“What are you doing, Jin? Why’d you call me out here?” Seri hisses. She pauses to smile warmly at the waiter who hands her an ice latte topped with perhaps more whipped cream than is strictly necessary before turning back to her obnoxious co-worker. “Why are you dressed… like that?”

“So that I don’t attract attention to myself. Obviously.” Jin scolds. He leans forward to sniff suspiciously at his milkshake before reaching into a pocket in his trench coat and pulling out a large swirly straw. It’s infuriatingly childish. He glances side to side before placing it in his glass and taking a long sip.

“I’m going home.” Seri snaps, making to get up, but an arm shoots out and holds her in place.

“I’m sorry! I’ll be serious.” He promises, even as he takes another sip from the milkshake through the ridiculous straw. He does remove his sunglasses, though. “This is a matter that concerns not just you and me, but Jungkook and our… beloved… boss.” He begins to tear up at the final person on the list, and dabs awkwardly at the corner of his eyes. “We have to help her.”

“Help her what?” Seri questions, attention grabbed. Where her boss is involved, she is all ears. After all, you had given her a job when she’d been unemployed and desperate. And she’s determined to pay that back by being the best employee she could possibly be.

“Help her with her illness.” He confesses gravely. Seri’s eyes go wide as her mind scans through the long list of illnesses her beloved boss could possibly be suffering from. “She’s suffering from Hanahaki.”

The deathly silence that follows is testament to how much both workers care for their boss. The colour drains from Seri’s face while Jin looks down and another tear trails down his face.

“How… how can you be sure?” Seri breathes. Jin shakes his head gravely.

“Do you remember a couple of weeks ago when I lost that bet and had to take garbage out for a week?” Jin asks. Seri nods contemplatively as she remembers the event in question.

“You bet you could down 2 L of milk in one go but ended up spraying it out your nose all over Jungkook’s desk.” She recalls. He nods gravely.

“Well, I kind of tripped when I was getting close to the garbage and the whole garbage bag split open.” He explains. He pauses mid-explanation to take another unnecessarily long sip of his milkshake, one that has Seri twitching in dread and anticipation as she waits for him to finish his story. “And there were these red rose petals everywhere.”

Seri nods, but then frowns.

“But what does that have to do with (Y/N)? We sometimes get petals in or bouquets as samples for future decorations and two weeks ago she was doing that red themed wedding.” Seri points out. Jin nods solemnly.

“Well that’s why I didn’t think anything of it at the time. It wasn’t until yesterday, when (Y/N) brought up Hanahaki and was super shifty and blatantly lying about why it was on her mind that I got suspicious.” Jin admits. “So that night I went home and rang her brother, because he’s actually a doctor who specialises in treating Hanahaki. Just to ask some questions, but he was surprised and thought that maybe someone from our office was suffering from it, because (Y/N) had rung him too,asking about it right before me.”

“That is very suspicious.” Seri admits, and the evidence is starting to stack up. But there’s one vital piece of information she needs to believe Jin. “But who is she in love with, that doesn’t love her back? And how can we help her?”

Jin smiles widely and leans back in his chair.

“I was hoping you’d ask me that, dear, sweet, naïve Seri.” He tells her warmly, and all traces of his earlier tears have vanished from his face. “It’s none other than our resident space cadet, Jeon Jungkook.” He announces with all the dramatic flair of an actor presenting Best Picture at the Oscars. Seri grimaces.

“Jungkook?” She questions incredulously. Up until that point, Jin’s theory had sounded plausible but now it just sounds ridiculous. “You think she’s in love with Jungkook? The same guy I caught trying to sneak in a new printer without her noticing last week because he spilt banana milk on the old one?”

Jin nods, as if it is the most logical and reasonable conclusion to draw in the world.

“Well, not to be presumptuous, but yes. Can you think of anyone else? Also, haven’t you always been suspicious of the fact that they literally built a business from the ground up together and yet there’s nothing there?” Jin points out. Seri seems surprised.

“Why would starting a business together mean there has to be something romantic between them?” She responds. Jin looks mildly astonished before understanding sets in his expression.

“Ah, I forgot you’ve only been here a couple of months. Yes, Jungkook and (Y/N) started this business together. It was probably like… five years ago? They’d been running for about two years when that video of that wedding she organised went viral and then they hired me to handle the extra clientele that came in, so that sounds about right.” Jin says, launching into an explanation. “But their whole story is fresh out of a romcom- (Y/N) met him after her fiancée dumped her for dropping out of some sort of prestigious uni degree or something at some bar and he had some sad backstory as well that I can’t remember and encouraged her to follow her dreams. And then he ran into her again and helped her get her first client and then after two years of struggling to make ends meet that video went viral and here we are today, successful and happy. How can there be nothing after all of that?” He explains. Seri wrinkles her nose- despite her short amount of time working at this firm, she knows enough of the story to know Jin is butchering the story a lot.

What had actually happened, was that you taken a year off law school when your mother’s health had started to decline. Your brother had been forced to financially support the two of you by working ludicrous hours while you cared for her physical needs. Your fiancée, unable to cope with the emotional strain such an event had put on the relationship, coupled with the lack of time that came with caring for a sick relative, had left you. In the end, you had wound up working at a bar and unable to bring yourself to go back to law school after your mother passed away. The very same bar that Jungkook happened to frequent. After confiding in the sad, unemployed drunk boy you thought wasn’t listening over a period of time about your heartbreak and your desire to go into wedding planning instead of law school, it turned out he had been listening. Not only that, but he had a proposal for you- he, a business major, and you, a wedding planner, could start a business together. That way you wouldn’t have to go back to law school, and he would no longer be unemployed and nearly homeless. At least, that’s what she’d been able to glean from snippets of conversation she’s had with the both of you over the past couple of months.

Still, even though his story is still warped the original point still stands: Jungkook is clearly someone who matters to you, a lot. Yes, it was the video that went viral that made your business successful but you wouldn’t have even started this business without Jungkook. Jin makes a compelling argument- the coincidental timing of your chosen conversation topic the day before, and Jin happening to find the rose petals… it is all very shifty. Even Seri has to admit that.

But Jin isn’t done, and his next piece of evidence is perhaps the nail in the coffin.

“And she asked me this morning to start preparing a job ad for a new assistant. She said Jeon Jungkook is officially taking leave as of today- that’s why he didn’t show up and why we were flat out all day.” Jin points out urgently. “And I left my wallet in my car this morning and just so happened to be ducking down to get it, when I saw Jungkook’s car pulling out of the building. Which means he came in to work today! And when I watched the CCTV footage to check-“

“Woah, woah, woah, Jin!” Seri cuts him off in protest. “We aren’t criminal detectives! You can’t just watch CCTV footage of your boss because you want to-“

“That’s not important. What’s important is they had some sort of fight this morning and clearly, it’s because (Y/N) is in love with Jungkook, is dying of Hanahaki and we need to make Jungkook fall for her or we could lose our jobs. And the nicest boss anyone has ever had.” He exclaims, almost out of breath from his rant. Seri blinks. She wants to disagree. She really does. She wants to write Jin off as crazy and perhaps report him to you.

But… what if he’s right? What if you’re dying because your airheaded assistant doesn’t reciprocate your feelings? If he’s right, then they have to help you! She bites her lip contemplatively.

“Why can’t she just get treatment? We could sit her down and encourage her to see a doctor- isn’t her brother a leading specialist in the disease?” Seri points out. Jin shoots her a look like she’s just made the stupidest suggestion in the world.

“Don’t you know what treatment involves? It makes you forget the person who gave you Hanahaki forever. If she forgot Jungkook how can they run this business together?” He cries out. Seri is pretty sure she read something somewhere, back when she was researching the disease for herself that said that the ‘forget your love’ aspect of Hanahaki is just an urbanised myth and only the most severe cases of Hanahaki that have gone untreated for years require such dramatic action, and even those have been able to be successfully treated with just therapy in certain patients, but Jin sounds so convinced and sure of his words that it makes her doubt herself.

“What... what would you have us do?” She asks, rather than contradict what he just said. She cringes as she says the words because she knows she may regret this strongly depending on what Jin asks.

He merely grins.

“I’m glad you asked, dear Seri, because I already have a mastermind plan in place…”

“Yes, I understand that you want all black for your decorations,” You say, desperately clinging on to your patience. “But black roses aren’t really a thing. If you just agreed to the black baccara roses-“

“They’re still red.” Your client on the other end of the phone sniffs. “I want black.”

“Then having them painted is your best option.” You retort. “I told you I’d do my best to give you the wedding of your dreams but I’m not a miracle worker- you can’t grow black roses!”

“Please? It’s really important to us.” He begs. You dig your fingers into the bridge of your nose and sigh.

“I’ll see if I can speak to some plant breeders and see if we can get something closer to black.” You say with a sigh. “That’s the best I can do.”

You don’t hear whatever he says because you are distracted by the presence of Jungkook leaning awkwardly against the door to your apartment. When he spots you, his whole face lights up and he straightens. You wince as he waves enthusiastically. He’s not in his usual crumpled suit- instead he’s wearing an oversized hoodie and a pair of trackpants and he hasn’t even attempted to tame his wild mop of hair. Oddly, he looks amazing in the casual, comfortable look he’s going for.

“You’re here!” He greets. You watch him cautiously like he is a furious bull that may charge at any moment.

“It’s my apartment. Where else would I go?” You point out. “Shouldn’t you be at home resting?”

He nods sheepishly.

“Well… I did take the day off.” He admits. “But I thought you might have had a long day without me, what with no one to replace the vital work that I do, so I brought some supplies.”

You stiffen. You have had a long day, and that is to be expected when you force your business partner to take an unplanned leave. To be honest, you aren’t even sure what half of Jungkook’s duties are. You’ve just always done your thing, talking to clients, make plans, connecting with people, and then at the end you’d have money in your bank account. Jungkook has always handled your marketing and connecting clients and managing appointments while keeping the office running smoothly. Without him, you’d had to answer phones, contact the accountant and fill out complex paperwork between and in the middle of appointments with. Seokjin and Seri had done their best to share the load but even they’d felt the strain by the end of the day.

“I’m not changing my mind, if that’s why you’re here.” You sniff, stepping passed him to unlock the door. He presses in close and follows you into your apartment even though he is not welcome. He looks around curiously as soon as he steps passed the threshold of your home.

“This is a really lovely place.” He compliments sincerely- it should be surprising that this is the first time he’s ever step foot in your apartment considering the fact that you’ve been running a business with him for five years now. Even Seri, who has only been working with you for a couple of months, has visited your home before. But before this whole wedding debacle, Jungkook had always refused. He sidles past you and sets a plastic bag up on the countertop in your kitchen. He glances back at you before rummaging inside. “I realised I have no idea what you like to eat, so I read that interview you did with that bridal magazine a few months ago.” He says, and then he pulls out a block of chocolate, some grapes and a bottle of wine. You squint suspiciously at them.

“Jungkook…” You say slowly, about to ask him to leave your home and take the food with them. Yes, they were all guilty pleasures of yours, but you weren’t about to give him false hope that you would rescind your decision. “I’m not going to plan the wedding.” Is what you say instead.

He ignores you, turning to a cupboard and pulling out two wine glasses. He sets them on the counter and immediately begins pouring out the wine. Then he leans against the countertop beside you and sighs heavily, as if the weight of the world is on his shoulders.

“Why?” He finally asks. He takes a long sip of his own glass, sliding yours toward you. Hesitantly, you accept and settle into a stool next to the counter. “It’s not going to stop the wedding. It’s not going to cure me. And I’ll still be involved in the wedding whether you plan it or not. What do you think you’re achieving by refusing?”

You stare down at the ruby liquid in the glass- your distorted reflection glares back. He’s right. You’re not achieving anything. You’re just sticking your head in the sand and pretending Jungkook’s situation isn’t happening until it magically fixes itself. But that’s all you really can do, right? You can’t force him to get treatment and you can’t make his best friend love him back. These are all doubts that plague you, but if you are anything, it is stubborn. Your blood runs hot with anger at the way he’s trying to pressure you into something you’ve already decided not to do.

“Why are you so desperate for me to plan this wedding anyway?” You question, hopping off the stool and edging closer until he is pressed against the kitchen counter. At this proximity you can count each of his individual lashes and feel the way his breath has become shallower and hesitant. It’s out of anger that you press closer. You’re trying to intimidate him into backing off and leaving you to deal with the consequences of your decision in peace. His eyes flash at the challenge though.

“Why are you so determined to refuse?” He retorts. “Up until the engagement party, you were all for planning this wedding! What, suddenly things get a teensy bit more complicated and you’re out?”

“Finding out my business partner is dying from a curable illness is not a “teensy bit more complicated”, Jungkook!” You cry, the volume of your voice escalating. Any louder and your neighbours will probably call the cops on you. “Why aren’t you taking this seriously?”

“I am taking this seriously!” Jungkook shouts. It’s the first time in all the years that you’ve known him that you’ve ever seen him lose his temper. His whole face goes bright red and the tendons in his neck strain with the force of his shout. “That’s all I’ve been doing! Every, single, damn day, all I can think about is how hard this is! You think I want to be sick? You think I want to be here, begging my boss to plan the wedding for the girl that I love? Why do you have to fight me at every single step- why can’t you just do me this one favour? All I’m asking you to do is to plan a wedding for a friend and turn a blind eye when you see I’m having a hard time- is that so hard to do?”

“Yes.” You breathe, and your eyes have watered and filled with tears at his words. “I don’t want to have to watch your heart break.” You finally admit. Because that’s the real reason. You can’t stop the fast approaching train-wreck that Jungkook has managed to lock himself into. But you sure as hell don’t have to watch it happen. “I don’t want to watch you slowly die.”

Your admission is met with silence and when you shoot a glance at Jungkook, he’s staring at you like you’ve grown a third eye. Abruptly he breaks eye contact and his shoulders hunch.

“Let me come back to work.” He says in a small voice. “I know you think you’re helping me, but you’re just leaving me at home alone with nothing to dwell on but the fact that I’m ill and…” His voice cracks. “That she…” He whirls around so that he’s no longer facing you and is unable to finish his sentence. He changes the subject. “Wow, I didn’t know my boss was so heartless,” He tries to joke, his tone falsely light, but his voice is still slightly shaky. “5 years together and you give me the axe just because I’m a little sick.” He shakes his head and makes a “tsk” sound. “Success has really changed you, (Y/N).”

You recognise now, that his attempt to joke around is his way of hiding, so you aren’t offended. Instead, getting slowly to your feet, you pack everything into the bag he brought with him and walk around the kitchen counter so that you’re facing him. He winces and looks towards the ceiling, perhaps to conceal the way his eyes are wet with tears and red-rimmed. Gently, you take his hand and place the handles of the plastic bag in it, wrapping his fingers around them.

“Jungkook.” You say softly. “I’m not doing this because I thought this would easy or because I don’t like you or because I think your job is replaceable or because I’m trying to punish you. I’m not doing it to make your life difficult. You’re sick, Jungkook, and sick people need rest.”

He stares at you with bewildered, pleading eyes. It is an exact repeat of earlier that morning when you had told him to take time off.

“There are other wedding planners.” You tell him gently. “She’ll live even if I don’t plan it for her.”

He stares down at the bag in his hand.

“But what if I… if she really wants you to do it?” He asks, even as he lets you guide him gently out the door. You don’t notice his slip.

“Well sometimes we don’t always get what we want Jungkook. But as your boss it’s my job to make sure you get what you need. And what you need is some time off.” You say. He seems to register he’s fighting a losing battle as the door swings shut- his hand flies out before you can fully close it.

“What would it take?” He pleads. “Hypothetically. If you could have anything in the world, what would it take for you to do this?”

You grimace.

“For you not to be sick.”

For all your bravado over forcing Jungkook to take leave, it really does make your life infinitely harder. Jungkook is a scatter-brain prone to double booking appointments and breaking expensive electronics, but his job really is irreplaceable- he hasn’t just been an assistant, or receptionist. His job was never as simple as answering phones and calling in the technician when he broke the printer yet again. He also managed the entire business side of things- from organising how much clients would pay for your services, to drafting contracts with them, to the entire marketing side of things, it had always been him to deal with that sort of thing. And it had been stupid and arrogant of you to think you could handle your regular duties on top of his. In your head, you had planned to look for a temporary replacement to work for maybe a year while Jungkook sorted himself out, but you barely have time for your own job, let alone searching for a replacement and training them up on top of managing Jungkook’s duties in the mean time. You’ve really screwed yourself over with such a hasty decision.

Your employees are quick to vocally and aggressively remind you of what a mistake it is to have put Jungkook on leave.

“My keyboard still doesn’t work.” Jin sniffs at you in the kitchenette, repeatedly dunking a bag of chamomile tea aggressively into a mug of boiling water. “I thought you said you were looking into fixing that! I can’t type anything and I’ve had two brides organising a wedding and a mother organising a first birthday party call me in tears because I didn’t answer their emails.”

“Well, you didn’t have to spill orange juice on it now, did you?” You almost snarl- you find your temper becoming shorter and shorter the more stressed and tired you are. It’s getting to the point that you’re hardly getting any sleep at night because you’re essentially doing two full time jobs at once. Jin’s eyebrows fly up, seeming to sense that you’re on the verge of snapping at him, and holds two hands up in a gesture of surrender.

“I’m sorry- It was an accident. But it’s really very urgent.” He tells you, and he sounds apologetic enough that you take a deep breath to release the tension built up in your shoulders and neck.

“I know. I’m sorry for getting short with you- I am trying to sort it out. I just have a lot on my plate at the moment.” You admit, and you feel on the verge of tears. Jin’s expression softens at your wobbly tone and he comes to stand next to you, resting against the kitchenette counter.

“Maybe we should give Jungkook a call.” He suggests gently. You tense, about to scold him for such a suggestion, but he holds up a firm hand. “I don’t know what happened or why you put him on leave, but you’re really struggling. If he does need the leave, then at least keep him around until you find a proper replacement- doing two jobs at once like this isn’t sustainable.” He points out. You wince because if it weren’t for your own stubbornness, you probably would have done as much. But you can’t- your pride won’t let you. You’ve decided that Jungkook needs leave and so he’s getting leave. Even if it kills you in the process.

Jin isn’t the only one- later in the week Seri knocks on your door. She strides in without waiting for an answer and leans in close so the two clients across from you don’t hear what she says.

“I just got a call from the bank- apparently there was an issue with billing that florist we contracted. I took down their number for you to ring them when you’re done with your client.” She informs you, flicking a gaze at the two clients before you.

Her interruption, though bearing bad news, is welcome- she’s interrupted two clients on the verge of screeching at you in rage. There was a mix-up with the venue bookings that you forgot to sort out between the flurry of phone calls you’ve been heckled with all day and they are not pleased. You’re barely holding back frustrated tears while Seri watches on, uncertain how to handle the situation. You take a deep breath, summoning all the professionalism you can access and smile at her.

“I will have that sorted after I deal with these two clie-“ You begin, but they cut you off.

“Don’t bother!” The one on the right, a woman in her late thirties’, snarls. She’s clinging to her fiancé’s arm like a hole might open up beneath her and demons appear to drag her to the depths of hell if she lets go. “We came here because we’ve heard so many good things about your service, but clearly it was all just good marketing- we won’t be coming back.”

She gets abruptly to her feet and storms off, dragging her balding fiancé with her. You take a shaky breath and squeeze your eyes shut, willing the tears not to come.

“Perhaps… I should call Jungkook? He’s really good with this kind of thing.” Seri suggests, and it’s so not the suggestion you need right now.

“Don’t.” You say. “My afternoon appointment just cancelled as you just saw- I’m free to speak with the bank right now.”

Your week carries on like that. You’re at your wits end by the time Friday comes around. You’ve promised yourself that you won’t do anything related to work for the entire afternoon. You’re going to ignore all the deadlines. Your business won’t crumble just because you took a Friday afternoon off, after all. At least that’s what you tell yourself as you take on your final task of the day- carrying a heavy box of fragile but expensive glasses that a client ordered in for clients to drink out of during their reception. You stagger as evenly as you can into the elevator and that’s when it happens- your heel snaps. It’s not a particularly high heel- just high enough that your ankle twists beneath you as it gives. You cry out, bracing yourself to crash to the floor and for the delicate goods you are carrying to shatter.

Only, it never comes. As you crumple to the ground, the weight of the box abruptly vanishes from your arms. Instead it is just you that hits the floor of the elevator with a pained grunt. Confused, you look up to find someone has grabbed the box from your arms before it could hit the floor with you and shatter all the contents inside.

“Are you ok?” Jungkook cries, gently setting down the box and crouching down before you. You’re so shocked that you are speechless. His large glasses are slightly lopsided on his face and he’s wearing a t shirt with a pair of ripped jeans. He’s not wearing the business attire that is required of all your employees- instead he’s dressed casually, like he didn’t plan on coming into the office today.

“W-what are you doing here?” You finally find your voice as he helps you to your feet. You wince as you attempt to press your weight into the foot with the broken heel and crumple back down- no doubt you sprained it on your way down. Jungkook’s eyes are wide with concern.

“Jin called me in for something urgent-“ He explains but he’s too distracted by your injury to provide the full story. “Did you hurt yourself?” He questions. You glance down at your leg- you move your ankle and wince when you find it too painful to rotate.

“Probably just a sprain.” You explain and he nods.

“I’ll help you, then,” He says quickly. “There’s a first aid kit in my office- or there was, if you haven’t cleaned it out yet.”

“Thank you.” You say quietly. “I haven’t touched your things. But you really shouldn’t be here-“

Your words are interrupted by the sudden flashing of the light in the elevator and a screeching noise.

The elevator is stuck.

“That’s your mastermind plan to help (Y/N)? Trapping them in an elevator together?” Seri sniffs, as she realises what Jin has done, watching Jungkook and her boss through the small security camera. They remain crouched down, close to the ground and she can’t see their expressions. “What if they get hurt?”

“Clearly you’ve never watched any kind of romcom ever, Seri.” Jin tuts. “This is a basic strategy- and this is just us getting started! Phase one! We just need to force them into the same space and hopefully the confined space will lead to them opening up! Besides, don’t act so surprised- there’s much more work we have to do than this before Jungkook-”

“Why did you agree to this?” She interrupts, directing her question to the elevator technician who has unscrewed the control panel and is fidgeting with the wires. He pauses, resting a hand on his chin as he contemplates the answer.

“For love.” He answers fondly. “But also, Seokjin here paid me $50 if I made sure they were trapped in an elevator together for the next twenty minutes.”

Seri whirls on Jin, the expression on her face utterly despairing.

“What… what else do you have planned?” She asks incredulously, pale and concerned for the wellbeing of not only her boss, but Jungkook as well. Jin considers her question for a moment, before shrugging.

“It’s a surprise.” He answers with a grin.

“How’s your ankle?” Jungkook asks awkwardly. For the past five minutes after ringing for help with the emergency button and being assured that the elevator technician was already working on it, the two of you had been sitting in a deathly silence. With Jungkook’s help, you had manoeuvred so that you now lean against the wall of the elevator, your sprained ankle stretched out in front of you. Your broken, useless heels are discarded in the corner. Your eyes are shut so that you don’t have to acknowledge his presence and can feign sleeping.

“The same as it was 5 minutes ago.” You answer, without opening your eyes. “Swollen. Painful. Will probably be better in a few days.”

You hear a tapping sound and know that Jungkook is probably bouncing his knee up and down. He has a lot of restless energy and a lot of pens have been dismantled at his desk from his fidgeting and a lot of office chairs have met their end because he’s constantly rocking back and forth. It’s a good indicator for when he’s about to strike up conversation- the noise stops, and he inhales like he’s formulating a question.

“How’s the office been?” He asks. “Without me? Is everyone coping alright?”

Not really. But you’re not about to tell him that.

“They’re fine. The others are urging me to find a replacement and I’m sure we’ll find one soon.” You say. Your sentences are clipped, and your tone isn’t unfriendly, but it isn’t exactly warm either. You’re trying to discourage conversation because if Jungkook inquires more into how your week played out, you may burst into tears. The last thing you want is for him to know what a hard time you are having without him.

He starts to whistle tunelessly, and the sound is annoying, but you don’t want to talk to him. At least he’s stopped asking you questions.

For about thirty seconds.

“What was in the box?” He asks. You open one eye to peer at him. He’s sitting cross-legged in front of you with his back slouched. He picks absently at his worn shoelaces on his crappy, frayed sneakers.

“Glasses. For a wedding I’m planning.” You say. He perks up at the mention of your business.

“Is this the couple who met at the Venetian Glass Blowing Factory?” He asks cheerfully. “I thought you didn’t have time to plan their wedding. How did you squeeze them in?”

You tense- you rang them up and offered your services since a lot of clients have cancelled on you this week following your subpar performance.

“I’ve had a few slots in my schedule clear up.” You admit through gritted teeth. Jungkook looks confused but then his eyes go round when he realises what you mean.

“Oh… that bad, huh?” He asks. He winces. “Not that I’m implying you’re bad! I just didn’t think people would cancel so quickly when-”

“When what, Jungkook?” You snap, patience lost. “When I’m essentially working two jobs? When I’ve been yelled at 32 times this week? When I’ve been getting approximately 4 hours sleep every night trying to organise all these events in between doing your job?”

“Well I didn’t ask to be on leave!” He retorts defensively. His eyebrows furrow together and his lips purse in a slight pout. “You’re the one who insisted I was unfit to work.”

“I know.” You snarl, and to your mortification, frustrated tears fill your eyes and blur your view of him. “I know I made you take leave! I know that everyone wants you back and this office is going insane without you!”

Jungkook’s jaw drops at your outburst but doesn’t interrupt as you continue your rant.

“I know your job is important and that it was going to be hard without you, but I was doing it for you! I wasn’t trying to fire you or spite you or punish you for being sick! I was only trying to help.” You’re full on sobbing now, but you’re so exhausted and emotional and the repressed emotions you’ve been pushing back for the past week are all bursting forth. “Is that so bad? Is it so terrible that I just wanted to look after my business partner? Why am I getting punished for doing the right thing?” You’re in full hysterics as Jungkook starts to panic, realising that he has no idea how to comfort you or calm you down.

“D-don’t cry!” He protests but it’s too late- it’s like a dam has been broken. All the stress, all the misery, all the overtime work has combined, and you feel like there’s an angry tornado of lava where your heart should be. “I know you were trying to help, and I’m really grateful for that- please don’t cry!”

He edges closer to you and doesn’t know what to do with his hands, so he settles for resting them awkwardly on your shoulders. You stare up at him with teary eyes. You’re not a pretty crier by any definition- your eyes have gone puffy and your nose is running and were it any other situation he would have laughed at you. But he has at least enough sensitivity to know laughing at you now would be kicking you when you’re down. Instead he offers you an awkward smile, one that is little more than his cheeks raising and him baring his teeth in an almost-snarl.

You’re so confused at his peculiar expression that you actually stop sobbing. You squint at him for a moment, before a tear-y laugh breaks through your lips.

“What are you doing?” You ask, taking the lapse in your hysterics as an opportunity to wipe away the tears running down your cheeks. His expression softens.

“I’m smiling at you.” He explains. You snort incredulously.

“You look like you’re in pain.” You say. He chuckles awkwardly.

“Hey! I’m trying to make you feel better!” He protests jokingly, relieved that you’re at least no longer crying. You frown.

“By showing me what face you make when you’re constipated?” You suggest and he actually laughs.

“I mean, since that’s what stopped you crying, I’ll take it.” He volunteers. He takes his hands off your shoulders and slumps next to you, being mindful of your injured leg. “Hey.”

You turn to look at him.

“Hi.” You answer. His expression is warm and gentle as he volunteers his next words.

“I never thanked you.” He admits. “For caring so much. Enough to keep it a secret.” He confesses. “And for putting me on leave. I know… I know you were trying to help, and it feels good to know that you’ve got my back like that. So, thank you. So much.”

At his words, an odd, warm sensation blooms in your chest. This whole week all you’ve felt is stressed and guilty, questioning your decision and worrying about Jungkook’s health. But Jungkook’s gratitude is liberating- you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. He turns so that he’s staring straight into your eyes.

“And I know that you were only trying to help, and I’m really thankful for that but…” He trails away awkwardly and glances downwards. “But it wasn’t your call to make.” He admits. “I know you mean well, but it’s my decision on whether to get treatment, or whether to keep working, or whether or not to be involved with this wedding. You shouldn’t have taken that choice from me.”

The truth of his words hits you like a bag of bricks and leaves you momentarily speechless. Because he has a point- even acting with his best interests in mind, he’s your co-worker. Not your friend or your family or your lover. He’s your equal business partner, capable of making adult decisions for himself. And by forcing him to go on leave, you took that choice away from him.

“As for the wedding… I won’t force you to do it or keep pestering you about it. I should have stopped when you first said no and respected that. That was wrong of me.” He says. “To be honest, I kept visiting you because I thought I could convince you. I didn’t even care how you were doing or whether you were coping- I just made all these excuses to see you so that I could convince you. And I realise now that’s a really awful way to be. You’re not just my boss or a machine that churns out people’s dream weddings. You’re a person who cares a lot about everyone she meets and I’m sorry for not recognising that.” He tells you. His cheeks are tinted slightly pink at his heartfelt confession, and your own cheeks burn too for some reason.

“The truth is… the truth is that Minah doesn’t want you to plan her wedding this much. Yeah, she liked that video of that wedding you did, but if I’d told her you said no, she would have just found someone else. It was me that was being insistent because I wanted someone on my side. You saw how I almost exposed myself at her engagement party… I felt like bringing another wedding planner into the mix is just one more person I have to hide from.” He slumps against the elevator wall and you take notice of the dark circles under his eyes, of his pale skin and his gaunt face… He’s lost even more weight since you made him take leave- earlier he was skinny but still looked healthy. Now he looks ashy and uncomfortable. At this rate he will wither away into nothing but skin and bones. Your heart aches for him again. “But when you found me… when you helped me and you didn’t tell anyone… I felt like I wasn’t alone for the first time in nearly a year. For the first time since Minah started dating Taehyung, probably. And I liked that feeling- I liked the idea of someone like you having my back. Someone who was strong and so determined that she literally built a business from the ground up, and you always call me your partner but really it was all you. And this whole thing with Minah has been so… hard. I thought… ‘maybe I could do it if she had my back.’” He squeezes his eyes shut and you notice the way a tear trickles down his cheek. His glasses nearly hide it but you’re watching him so carefully that you pick up on it.

“I’ll do it.” You don’t even realise you’ve said the words until he’s staring at you with wide, shocked eyes.

“What?” He asks. “Say that again?”

You blink, startled by your own compliance, but then you steel your gaze and make your decision.

“My brother’s a doctor who specialises in Hanahaki.” You say. “He said that if the doctors have already recommended hypnotherapy then conservative treatment probably can’t do much but it may slow the progression.” You explain. Jungkook is still staring at your with confused, round eyes. “If you promise to meet with him at least once a week for some conservative treatment and then you book in for proper treatment once the wedding is over… I’ll do it. I’ll plan her wedding.”

Jungkook’s whole face lights up and he grabs one of your hands, clasping it between your hands. His hands dwarf your own and you feel like he may break your bones with how tightly he is holding you.

“Really? You’d do that?” He asks, and the breathless excitement and relief in his voice almost makes it worth the stress that will no doubt come with agreeing.

“For you.” You clarify. “And only if you get treatment. If Namjoon tells me you’ve missed even one session, then I’m cancelling on her.” You warn. You look away awkwardly. “And I guess… if it means that much to you… you can come back to work. But you have to promise me that if you’re not feeling well you let me know, ok?”

“Deal!” Jungkook cries joyously, throwing his arms around you neck and pulling you in for a bone-crushing hug. “Thank you so much (Y/N)! This really means so much to me. Thank you.”

And it is in that moment, with Jungkook squeezing you tightly to him like you’ll get up and sprint away if he lets go, that the elevator door starts up again like it was just waiting for the two of you to come to an agreement.

And if it’s suspicious that Jin and Seri are both anxiously waiting by the elevator doors on the fifth floor when they eventually slide open and release you, then neither you nor Jungkook notice it.

You’re both too distracted by the work you have ahead of you.

#Jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jeon jungkook x reader #btsboulangerie #writing

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marshmallow-phd · 5 years

Text

Innocent Intentions

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Supernatural, Wolf Au

Pairing: Tao x Reader

Summary: There was one thing you couldn’t stand in all your years at college: playboys. And the campus was riddled with them. So when Tao - a player with a particularly well-known reputation - inserts himself into your life, you come up with a plan to get rid of him, whether he makes your heart race or not. But the more he’s the around, the more you just might find there’s a hidden layer underneath all the rumors, including a secret you never could have guessed….

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I 14 I Final

Had you ever been this sick in your life?

You were pretty sure that the answer was an astounding no. Sweat beaded on your forehead although you were shivering and couldn’t seem to get warm no matter how many blankets you piled on. At the same time, all you could stand to wear was an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of comfortable shorts. Anything else just felt like too much weight on your body.

Your stomach seemed to be on a four hour rotation, letting itself fill up with bile before deciding to empty it all out. The worst part was that after you’d finished throwing up, your body suddenly realized you hadn’t given it any sustenance since yesterday’s dinner. Your stomach growled at you and you growled back at it in a pathetic attempt to show some dominance. You knew if you actually tried to eat something, you’d just be seeing it again soon. Besides, you didn’t have the stamina to walk to the kitchen and stand there while trying to decide what would do the least amount of damage.

For the good part of the morning, you simply lied on the couch, unable to go to sleep but lacking the energy to do anything else. At one point, you did remember to call Mrs. Choi and tell her that is was best for you not to come in today. The last thing the shelter needed was for you to spread this bug around and have all those poor kids running to their shared bathrooms to throw up. Taking care of a couple sick kids was hard enough when the yearly cold made its way around. A whole classroom’s worth would just be chaos. Mrs. Choi was more than understanding and you promised to take an extra shift next week to make it up.

Sometime around noon, you were lying on the couch, watching an old rom com on the TV. It was the same old classic trope: playboy finds the only girl not attracted to his games and falls for her in pursuit of winning her over for the sake of his pride. You snorted to yourself. “Yeah, right.” Like that would ever happen in real life. Jerks were Jerks, frogs were frogs. End of story.

Then you shot up from your lying position. Shit! You were supposed to have another tutoring session with Tao today. A smile crept on your lips and a somewhat evil laugh escaped your throat. Looks like you were able to dodge him after all.

Lying back down on the couch, you settled in even deeper into the blankets, enjoying the silver lining. Then the guilt set in. You should probably at least Jae know that you were sick so Tao wasn’t just sitting there waiting for you. Even if that would be entertaining to imagine.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Jae,” you croaked out. Your throat was sore from all the acid that had been passing through it. Maybe you should grab a glass of water after this. Ugh. That meant moving.

“Whoa, you sound terrible.”

Way to point out the obvious. “Yeah, I’ve got the flu or something. So, tell Tao we’ll have to reschedule.”

“Sure!” There was a little more happiness in Jae’s voice than you really thought was appropriate for this conversation. “Feel better, (y/n). And let me know if you need anything.”

“Sure thing.” You hung up before he offered to bring you soup or something else equally obnoxious. Being babied whether you were sick or not was not an action you took graciously. You were a grownup who could take care of themselves.

A little while later, just as you finally beginning to drift off for a nap, there was a knock on the front door. Groaning, you buried yourself deeper into your blankets, hoping the intruder would just go away. But they didn’t.

Louder and louder they banged, determined to be answered. With a roar of your own and newly fueled by annoyance, you threw the protective cover off of yourself and marched up to the door, swinging it open. “What!”

“Well, hello there.”

Your eyes widened. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Tao smirked. “I came for my tutoring session.”

“I’m sick, you idiot. Jae was supposed to tell you.”

“Oh, he did,” Tao nodded. “But you seem to be fine to me.”

“Are you serious?” you croaked out. You were sweating more than a runner just crossing the marathon finishing line. You were sure that your face was a few shades lighter than normal and you sounded like a fifty year smoker. “I’m pretty sure anyone could take a look at me and know that I’m dying.”

The smirk faded from Tao’s face and his eyebrows knitted together. “Are you running a fever? Is it just a cold or could it be something worse?”

“Why do you ev-”

Just then that all-too familiar churning feeling began to bubble in your stomach. In a flash, you turned on your heels and sprinted for the first floor bathroom, not caring in the slightest that you’d left the front door open for Tao to walk right on in. You barely made it in time to empty out your stomach into the toilet. A coughing fit followed, making the burn in your throat even worse.

“Hey, hey, hey it’s okay,” Tao hushed gently as he crouched down beside you. A heavy hand rubbed up and down your back and you hated how nice that felt.

“Go away,” you grumbled as you wiped away the tears that were stinging your eyes.

“I’m not leaving you like this,” Tao declared defiantly. He stood back, staring down at you with a look that dared you to argue. “I’ll go get you a glass of water. Don’t move.” He was gone from the bathroom before you could open your mouth to protest.

After sitting there in silence for a minute or so just listening to the open and close of cabinet doors and finally the clinking of glass and the sound of running water, Tao came back with a tall cup of water.

“I seriously could have done that myself,” you snapped.

“And yet, I see no glass anywhere in sight.”

Damn it.

Before you could even think of a good comeback, round two started. The sound of the bile hitting the water mixed with your own gagging once nothing else was coming up was just making it worse. This wasn’t a state you wanted to be seen in by anyone, but somehow with Tao here, it was a hundred times worse. You just wanted him to go away and leave you alone. You preferred to stay here in misery without an audience.

“I think that’s the universe telling you to stop arguing with me,” Tao chuckled. Crouching down once again, he held the water out for you. “Just swish the first gulp around and spit it out. Then take a sip to swallow.”

You swiped the glass from his hand, not caring if some spilled on the linoleum floor. “I know what to do.” But when you took that first swig, you could only swish it around your mouth for a few seconds before spitting it out into the toilet. “Ugh. Why is it so warm?”

Tao rolled his eyes. “It’s room temperature. And it’s better for your stomach than ice water. Now, take a few sips. It’ll help sooth your throat.” He placed his fingers on the bottom half the glass, pushing it up to your lips before tilting it back.

Once you’d taken three small gulps, you lowered the glass and wiped your lips clean. Neither of you spoke or even moved. This side of Tao was weirding you out. There was absolutely no hint of his usual flirtation in any of his actions. His eyes reflected pure, genuine concern for your health. Why would he be so concerned for you? He didn’t know you and you doubted the two of you bonded that quickly over a few hours of homework. And you knew nothing about him beyond what Wyatt and Kendall had told you. The two of you weren’t even really friends-

“Wait a second,” you narrowed your eyes at him, all thoughts of gratitude gone. “How the hell did you know where I lived?”

A small dose of the smug attitude was back. “Jace in the front office owed me a favor. It was pretty easy for him to look up your home address.”

You gaped at him. No matter that the idea had once crossed your own mind to track down the boy across from you after he was late for Wednesday’s session. But the difference was that you never did. And you were planning on looking for his class schedule, not his home address. “I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.”

Tao shrugged. “Go ahead and report me.”

“I will.”

“Okay.”

You tried to remain bold, but eventually you just deflated. It wasn’t worth the fight. Tao searched around the bathroom aimlessly with his eyes.

“So, you live with your parents?” he asked nonchalantly.

“Yeah,” you replied defensively. “It’s easier to save money than living in the dorms. You got a problem with that?”

He raised an eyebrow, seemingly confused at your attitude. “No. I live with my family, too. I was just making conversation. You don’t have to be so hostile towards me.”

“You came to my house and are now acting all concerned,” you pointed out. “Sorry if that kind of reads straight out of the playboy’s hand book.”

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to judge someone based on what you hear?”

Well, damn. He had you there.

But it didn’t help that his personality came off the same as the forerunning rumors in that initial meeting. Right now, though, you were definitely getting another side to the playboy and it was messing with your head. Or maybe it was the illness making you susceptible to whatever angle he was playing now.

But he seemed so genuine in his worry for you and it was making you doubt your own assumption. His closeness right now was creating a fog in your mind. Were you starting to see him more clearly or were you just seeing another character he was putting on?

“Come on,” Tao whispered. “You should lie down.” His arms started sliding behind your back and under your knees.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” You put your hands on his chest, stopping him while trying to ignore the warmth radiating from him under his plain white t-shirt. “What are you doing?”

Tao looked stunned. “I was going to take you to the couch.”

You frowned at him. “I can walk still.”

He threw his hands up and backed off. “Sorry.”

With what little strength you had, you pushed yourself off the floor. Your knees wobbled and you became light headed from the sudden elevation, swaying back and forth before catching the rim the of the counter.

“Still not going to let me carry you?” Tao growled.

You threw him a look. “I’m fine.”

Rolling his eyes, he wrapped an arm around your waist and supported most of your weight as you shuffled towards the living room. He let you sit down on the couch by yourself before heading towards the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” you called out after him.

“You need to eat something!” he yelled back.

You jetted out your jaw, irritated. “I can’t keep anything down!” A little quieter, you added, “ Like you weren’t here to see that fact.”

“I did see it! That’s why I’m making you broth!” Tao shouted.

Whirling around on the couch, you stared towards the kitchen with your jaw hanging open. How was he able to hear that? And he was making you broth? At this point, you wanted him to leave so you could stop being so confused. When you sat back down in your seat, you found yourself… smiling?

No. No, no, no. You didn’t like being taken care of like this. You really didn’t like that Tao was the one making you like it. What the hell was wrong with you? Just kick him out already. You were sure if you yelled enough, he’d leave, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

You plastered on a frown and crossed your arms to try and make yourself sour and mad at this whole thing. Fake it until you make it, right?

With a large bowl of steaming chicken broth in his hand, Tao came back to the living room, nudging your leg with his foot for you to move over. You complied, putting a sigh and great reluctance behind it. As carefully as he could, Tao put the bowl down on the coffee table before adjusting the blankets and placing one of them around your shoulders. Crossing his legs so he could face you as he sat down, he picked the bowl and held the full spoon out for you to drink.

Narrowing your eyes, you questioned, “Why are you doing this?”

Tao sighed and lowered the broth to his lap. “Can’t I just be nice?”

“We’re not best friends,” you argued. “I wouldn’t even say that we’re friends. And yet, you’re here trying to feed me. I think any logical person would be questioning why.”

“I like you.”

Your immediate reaction was to go straight into a coughing fit.

Tao nodded. “Not the reaction I was hoping for.”

When you were finally able to breathe right again, you blinked at him. “I’m sorry. Rewind for a second. You what now?”

That confident smirk was making a comeback on his lips as he leaned forward. However, this time, it was softer as he kept eye contact with you. “I like you, (y/n). That’s why I’m doing this.”

“Get out.”

Apparently, he wasn’t expecting that answer as leaned back, blinking. “What?”

“I am not a toy for you to play with,” you spat. “I don’t like playboys, so find someone else to mess with.” The way his face twist up, he almost seemed hurt by what you were saying. That didn’t stop you from marching on, though. “I’m not going to listen to anything that’s not genuine, so just stop while you’re ahead.”

“I’m being serious,” he whined. “I’m not playing a game or just trying to see how far I can get. Let me prove it to you. Can I get at least one chance?”

You opened your mouth just to shut it again. The words leaving his mouth sounded sincere, but you weren’t entirely certain. He was so confusing that you couldn’t get a grip on which version of him was real.

Fine. He was saying that he actually liked you, then you’d let him try. But if there was one thing you knew about playboys, it was this: none of them could commit. As soon as things got serious, they ran. So, you’d show him seriousness, you’d show him commitment. And then you’d sit back and watch him run for the hills, proving you right once again.

“Okay,” you agreed. “Fine. Whatever.”

Tao scoffed, looking off to the side as he shook his head. “And here I thought we’d gotten past judging people.”

You gasped. “I do not-”

Tao took the opportunity to shove the soup filled spoon in your mouth. And it was good, making you momentarily forget about the argument you had lined up for him. It wasn’t just plain chicken broth in that bowl. There was something else in it that gave it an extra flavor.

“What did you put in there?” you asked in awe.

“You’ll just have to eat more and see if you can find out,” he teased. You rolled your eyes, but opened your mouth for more. It was completely out of character for you to allow someone else to feed you, bit if Tao was going to be extreme, then so were you. This was going to be a two player game all the way.

“Okay, I think that’s enough for now,” Tao declared after a few more spoonfuls. “If you can keep that down, then I’ll warm it back up for you.”

Your only answer was a yawn as you stretched. You were exhausted and in desperate need for sleep while your body fought off the virus. For the first time all day, you felt like you could actually take a nap. Leaning back into the couch after shifting in his seat, Tao wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his chest.

“Isn’t this too much?” you mumbled. There was no fight in your body, though, and your voice didn’t give much of an argument either.

“Get some rest,” he whispered.

This was wrong. This was one hundred percent wrong, but your eyes were already closed and your breathing was regulating as your mind gave in to the rest. Tao’s chest shouldn’t be this comfortable. You shouldn’t be feeling so content with his warmth around you. And yet, you easily drifted off, forgetting all the complications and just accepting the current situation. You’d deal with whatever consequences came your way later.

Tao took full advantage of the situation, staring down at you in awe. You looked so content curled up in his side, exactly where you belonged.

He couldn’t believe his luck in convincing you that he truly did have feelings for you. And they were growing each time he saw you. How could someone so defiant and argumentative be so cute? If having you give in to him and let him take care of you took a fight every time, he’d gladly fight with you every day. How could he have ever hated the very idea of this?

When Tao had first headed this way, he doubted that you were even going to be home. He really thought you were just dodging him. Then you opened the door looking like death and his protective instincts took over. But there you went again, doubting his intentions. Who knew he’d ever regret the way he lived his life up until now?

He was going to have to work twice as hard because of that just to prove to you that the two of you were meant to be, that you were his mate and that everything he was feeling towards you was true. You still looked at him with a seemingly impenetrable wall of distrust. It was going to take time and patience to remove each brick. While Tao had plenty of the former, he was still learning the meaning of the latter.

An itching feeling began to tingle in the tips of his fingers. At this angle, he could only see a portion of your face since most of it was buried in his chest (a fact that was making the wolf in his chest purr in absolute ecstasy). Your skin looked so soft from this closeness. Did it feel like the velvet it was impersonating? Tao had never wanted to run his fingers across a cheek so much in his life. Whenever he did it to the other girls, it was out of strategy. It drove every single one of them crazy. This was the first time the urge came with no ulterior motive.

Full of bravery, Tao lifted his free hand that wasn’t keeping you secure to his side and reached out. Just before his fingertips could brush up against your cheek, however, he heard car tires pulling into the driveway. Conflict arose as he wanted to stay, but right now was not the best way to meet your parents or explain this current predicament or why you were fast asleep on him.

As carefully as possible, he unglued you from him - earning a whine from both you and his wolf - and tucked you in comfortably on the couch before sneaking out the back door. He waited on the side of the house for your mother go inside before sprinting to his car that he’d parked a few houses down the street.

His heart was pounding in his chest as an exhilarating feeling pumped through his veins. The adrenaline rush that resulted from sneaking out of your house without being caught couldn’t be explained, but he kind of wanted to do it again. And you’d told him to prove just how much he cared for you, so you could bet he’d be doing a lot more sneaking around here in the near future.

#exo #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic #exo wolf au #exo wolf!au #exo werewolf au #exo werewolf!au #tao x reader #huang zitao #z.tao #tao #exo series #exo supernatural au #Innocent Intentions #untamed wolf universe

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agentbarton12 · 5 years

Text

Old People Teenager Watchers

A/N: gonna be completely honest and tell you that i forgot i hadnt finished posting this. like, its been done and ive writen it but i completely fogot i had to post it. anyway, here you go!

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6

—

the invitation — 6

Teenagers, in Tony's opinion, are the strangest breed of people. He’s pretty sure when he hired one, he was not hiring their mood swings, rebellious tendencies and relationship problems as well, but, it seems “you can’t get one without the other” or something dumb like that.

Tony liked to believe that over the last three odd years, he had gotten better at handling teenagers, but apparently not.

Truly, he was too old for this. He needed to fill in his formal Teenage Babysitter Resignation forms and hand them in to the board of Old People Teenager Watchers (“Parents, Tones. They’re called parents.”).

When Steve told Tony what that idiot Peter was thinking of doing, Tony's knee-jerk reaction was to say no. But then he thought about it and sighed.

A heavy sigh.

Not because he was worried, or because he thought it was a bad idea, no, Tony was apprehensive because it would work. Like, it really would. And Tony knew that the only way it would, was if he helped.

And then he sighed again.

Despite this, Tony agreed to help because he thought he should. He thought Peter was on to something and he really needed a reason not to be mad at him anymore. Nearly everyone had gotten over Peter’s idiocy, if only because MJ did, and had moved past it. Tony tried to, but he couldn’t because Peter kept looking at MJ like the sun and the moon shone out of her eyes.

It was disgusting.

And endearing.

But mainly the first one.

The only problem with this staring was that Peter seemed unaware he was doing it. He had convinced himself that he liked Gwen and not MJ and now, refused to admit that he was being dumb.

Okay, okay, he used to refuse to admit that he was being dumb.

Because this was the whole reason of the plan. After an eye-opening conversation with literally ever woman in Peter’s life (Pepper, May, Nat, Wanda, Laura, Shuri, Hope, Jane, Darcy, Carol, Valkyrie, Okoye, Christine, hell, even those Guardians touched down on Earth for a while to give him advice), he spoke with Gwen who, surprisingly wasn’t upset at all. No, no, she was not. In fact, she came up with most of the logistics of the plan. Tony actually took a liking to her eventually. After he got past the fact that Peter claimed to like her, she turned out to be a really nice girl, and if MJ didn’t exist, he wouldn’t mind Peter dating her.

But, MJ did exist and now Tony had been tasked with the impossible feat of getting MJ to the tower. It was impossible because no one — not even Pepper on a bad day — could get her to do something she didn’t want to do. And since it was seven o’clock on a Thursday night, Tony knew she wouldn’t want to leave her bed.

Emmjaaay

Emmmjaaayyy, hurry up and get to the tower!

It’s an emergency!

Ned’s in trouble!! Come nowww!!!ii

Emmjaay

[video attached] he looks fine to me

TonyMan

Uhh...

Emmjaaay

also you text like a child

also also im curious as to why youd lie to get me out of bed on a thursday, so ill be there

tell the babysitter to pick me up

TonyMan

Auto-correct, MJ.

Please.

The video was a screen recording of a Snapchat Story Ned posted. It showed him, Sam and Thor sitting on pool chairs with sunglasses on, and the caption was literally, Living the trouble-free life.

Tony really needed to make sure he and Ned were on the same page before he did something.

He was surprised when MJ agreed to come over, but decided not to think too much about it and sent Happy to pick her up. He complied, grumpily, but complied nonetheless.

He told everyone of the success of his mission, but instead of being greeted with thankful hearts, everyone started running around trying to get everything in order, which just confused Tony because as far as he was concerned, the plan was just get MJ to the Tower so Peter could do whatever it was he was going to do. There was literally no reason for everyone to act like they were planning a wedding.

When MJ arrived, Peter took her up to the roof and everybody, like, everybody ran up to the common room and asked FRIDAY for the security footage on the roof with sound.

The Avengers and Avengers Children sat around and on the couch for a clear view of the holographic screen that was being projected up. They could see them standing on the roof. MJ, once again, was not wearing her own clothes and had put on a sweater she stole from Bruce and basketball shorts that could’ve either been Sam’s, Peter’s or Thor's. Her back was to Peter and Tony could feel how much he wanted to reach out and hug her.

“So, did you bring me out here to murder me or for the view?” MJ asked not turning back to look at Peter.

“Uh, yeah, it’s a killer view,” he responded, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

She turned to him slightly. “That was so achingly lame, my dad turned over groaning in his grave.”

He chuckled nervously. “Peter Parker: Dad Joke Extraordinaire,” he tipped an imaginary hat.

She held his gaze for a few seconds, before looking away. “Idiot.” Peter just smiled at her back and looked at for far longer than what was deemed ’friendly’.

“Oh, god,” Sam groaned.

“This is gonna take way longer if he keeps doing that,” Bucky muttered, rubbing his beard in frustration.

They stopped their mutterings when Peter spoke. “I am. An idiot. I am an idiot.” MJ gave him the slightest of gazes, before training her eyes on the skyline in front of her. “A huge one,” he went on, “for not telling you I love you too.”

The eyes of the Avengers widened and Thor choked on his Pop Tart. Tony remembered that they never really got an explanation for MJ's behavior all those weeks ago and this is the first time they’re hearing this.

“I'm sorry, but when did MJ tell him that she loves him? How did I miss this? Why did no one tell me this?” Wanda was rambling at this point and no one shushed her because she was voicing their thoughts. As if she had a revelation, she gasped and said, “Was it that night MJ — ?”

“ — Shh!” Natasha said, as MJ started speaking.

“Yeah, you did. Remember, when you then proceeded to ask Gwen out?” Peter gulped at the memory.

“Excuse me, what?” Steve asked the screen. The common room erupted in noise as everyone started yelling about how they needed to know things like these. Tony looked over at Gwen who was sitting on the floor and saw Ned put a reassuring arm on her shoulders.

Peter took a breath. “That’s what makes me an idiot. I should’ve told you before. Like, two-years-ago before. Because I’ve loved you for, like, ever, but me, being the idiot I am, didn’t realise it.

“I knew I liked you, but when Gwen came and I liked her, I thought that meant I liked her more, I guess. But, that night outside my room, I fell in love with you all over again, because you continued to put what you thought was what I wanted as your top priority. Even if it was hurting you.” Peter took a breath. The whole common room was on the edge of their seats and Tony was pretty sure that Bucky had gotten FRIDAY to Skype it to Wakanda where Shuri and her brother were no doubt watching.

“The past few weeks have sucked so much because I realised just how much I adored you. Like, sometimes it gets physically painful to breathe whenever I think about you and Tony has told me so many times how disgusting it is when I look at you like you’re the only person in the world. And I’m trying, MJ, but, honestly, I still haven’t figured out how sit across from you and not be madly in love you with everything you do.

“This is more an apology than anything else, because I hurt you and I was an idiot and you deserve better than that.”

“…I taught him that,” Sam said after a moment or two of utter silence in the common room.

“Shut. Up,” Clint said hitting him in the head.

“If that is true, Son of Wil, you did a mighty excellent job at teaching the Man of Spiders how to woo the ladies,” Thor said.

MJ looked at him for the first since his speech. “Now what?” Peter looked stunned. “I’m not about to jump into your arms because you said all that, because that’s some dumb, cliché romcom BS and I ain’t about that.”

“Yes, girl!” Shuri yelled from the other end of the call.

“And you hurt me. Like, a lot. Like, I was pretty sure that at some point, Scott was gonna kill you. But, I’m not going to stand here and say that I don’t love you either, because I’m not a liar. I do love you. But, I hate you too. So, this…thing, it’s moving at my pace, how I say it will, got that?”

Peter nodded mutely, a large grin slowly gracing his features. “You see all that cute poetry junk you just spewed a moment ago? Yeah, you should stop that. I might actually end up liking you.”

Peter grinned evilly. “Oh? So I probably shouldn’t tell you that you’re the last thing I think of before I close my eyes?”

“Smooth,” Clint said, nodding slightly. Thor silently gave Sam a fist bump.

MJ's eyes crinkled and her mouth twitched ever so slightly, an almost smile. “No,” she said, “you shouldn’t 'cause that’s just creepy.”

“I love you,” Peter said breathlessly.

“It’s like you want me to break up with you.”

Peter shrugged. He grabbed her hand and pulled her into him. “I love you,” he said again with her face inches away from his.

“Stop.”

He shook his head. “Nope. You know why? Because I do. I love you.” He looked her in the eye before turning away and yelling into the night, “I love Michelle Jones!”

She punched him in the arm. “Don’t make me regret hugging you.”

“But you’re not — ”

He was silenced by her crashing into him and he stood stunned for less than a second, before he wrapped his arms around her and he settled his head in the crook of her neck due to the height difference.

“YES!” the common room erupted into cheers as everyone, everyone stood up in excitement. Scott called Hope and told her everything. Clint, followed his lead and phoned Laura to update her on the newest development. Hugs were given and tears were shed.

They all decided to stick around just in case something…interesting happened and so they remained in the common room.

Tony thought he’d hang onto his position in the Old People Teenager Watchers Committee just a little longer.

“How long do you think they’re gonna stay in the common room watching us before they realise that we’re trolling them and aren’t planning on leaving until they do?” MJ asked Peter as they remained hugging on the roof.

“Dunno. They like snooping. Probably waiting for us to kiss or something.”

MJ stayed silent. Then, “We should have sex. Give them something to watch, y'know?”

Peter’s eyes widened. “Wh-What?”

Tony jumped up and told FRIDAY to connect him to the roof speakers. “You two get off that roof right now, or so help me I will ban you from looking at each other. Get down. Now.”

The last thing he heard from the two was MJ's cackling as they got off the roof. And the cackling of his fellow teammates.

Never mind, Tony was resigning.

#avengers #marvel #peter parker #spiderman #michelle jones #ned leeds #spideychelle #iron man #tony stark #mcu #iron dad #spideyson #domestic!avengers

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prettywordsyouleft · 3 years

Text

To Be Continued - Part 7

Pairing: Brian Kang x female writer (ft. Park Sungjin)

Genre: writer au / romance / fantasy

Warnings: fictional characters coming to life / a bit of angst here and there / Sungjin as a cop (or does that only affect me?) >_>

Word count: 2198

Preview | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Epilogue

It was as if you were writing a new novel. Instead of focusing on how Charli Evers would finally get with her battered beau, you were at the peak of experiencing all the emotions and excitement that came from a new romance. You were enjoying playing the main protagonist for the first time in your life as well.

“What are you doing?” Brian asked with a hint of amusement in his tone. You leaned in even closer, already entangled together on the couch after watching a movie, and lifted your index finger.

“Counting.”

“Counting what?”

“How many lashes I gave you,” you murmured, your gaze honing in on one eye. You let out a whistle when you finished. “I gave you so many! Why are you this perfect?”

“I don’t see myself as perfect at all. You sure made a point of that in my creation, too.”

“How? You’re handsome, protective, honest, playful, charming, sensitive, and did I mention handsome?”

Brian’s lips curled up some from your description. “I think you might have said it twice.”

“Because you truly are that good looking!” you surmised, and Brian chuckled.

“Is being handsome all that matters to you?”

“Well, no.” You blinked a couple of times whilst trying to come up with an answer that didn’t make you feel shallow. The truth was, you really did enjoy looking at him a whole lot.

Over the past two weeks, that was what you had done an awful lot of. No matter what mundane task Brian did, he looked exceptional doing it. His laugh was music to your ears, and his voice made your heart flutter constantly. Any time he smiled, you worried your knees would give way, and on the rare chance they actually did, the way he caught you so easily with his strong embrace had you swooning further.

You wondered if this was all a dream. Instead of Brian coming out of your laptop, and your novel, perhaps you had died from your illness. That would explain why everything lately had felt so heavenly at his side.

Either way, you didn’t want to wake up or move on to the next realm. This was where you wanted to remain forever.

Especially when he kissed you. Leaning in to break you out of your reverie, Brian’s luscious lips pecked yours twice, a chuckle vibrating out of him when you realised you had zoned out again. “You’re too adorable.”

“Hardly.”

“If you keep calling me handsome, I’m allowed to call you how I see you.”

You sighed heavily and attempted to pull away from the man. “I don’t want to be just adorable if you’re handsome, Brian.”

“What do you mean?”

“Charli Evers is beautiful! She’s stunning and successful and has a body that would make any male swoon over her. She’s a goddess, and I’m just adorable.”

“You’re really adorable when you’re jealous,” he mused and shook his head, reaching out to pull you back in close to him again. “Charli isn’t real like you are.”

“What if she comes to her senses and finds out that you’ve left that world. She could come here, and it would be no competition between us!”

“You’re right. It wouldn’t be. Because I’d choose you over her every time.”

You scoffed loudly and pulled yourself away again, going over to the kitchen to get a drink of water to cool down. It was hard enough having insecurities as a person, and when you had lived alone, you barely thought of them, too busy up in worlds like Captivated to truly care. Your flaws, at points, made good fodder for some character traits, but you never wrote yourself fully into a world. You had come close in Destined, but even the main protagonist there was far more charming than you were to hook Park Jinyoung as she had.

Brian’s arms slipped around your waist, and he dropped his chin onto your shoulder. “It’s all about perception. You see Charli as superior to you. But she’s the type of woman you see in a magazine. Flawless, beautiful, and whilst you no doubt have made her relatable to your fans of the series as a person, as she does have a good soul, you are real. You aren’t sculpted to perfection. You aren’t going to star on the front cover of any Vogue or Marie Claire. Instead, you are starring as my leading lady.”

“I’m not sure if I’m flattered or not,” you mumbled, turning around to face Brian. “Maybe I want to be on the front cover.”

“It’s not in your personality to stand out like that. You much prefer this lifestyle. Domestic and homely and comfortable.”

“So she’s sexy, and I’m homely,” you deducted, whilst Brian groaned loudly.

“Can’t we go back to the part where we were thinking of just us? I don’t like you comparing yourself to someone else.”

“I’m sorry,” you admitted, lowering your gaze from his. Brian had a habit of making sure you were always looking at him, and he easily fished out your gaze again, smiling gently when he caught your eye. You sighed. “I guess whilst I made you to be the dream guy for me, and those who read my series, I never quite realised the impact you would have on my world if I actually had you.”

“If I have to make a point of telling you how much I appreciate and adore you daily, then so be it.”

“You shouldn’t have to though,” you pointed out, going around him and heading into your office. Brian followed you and leaned against the threshold as you sat down in your chair.

He nodded his head. “No, I suppose I shouldn’t. But isn’t that what makes a relationship work? I support you, and you support me. When one of us feels lower than the other, then it’s important to make sure they feel cherished and loved.”

“Loved?” you repeated, your eyes widening at his choice of words. Brian cleared his throat noisily, looking around your room as opposed to keeping eye contact. You smirked. He was cute when he was embarrassed.

“Isn’t it time to write, Miss Writer?”

“Perhaps I just got some inspiration for my starting point of Eternity. I mean, in the story, Charli Evers is cherished and loved by Brian Kang, isn’t she?”

“Have your fun at my expense.”

“It’s all those good lines I breathed into you. No wonder you make the world swoon, Brian. You’re full of the perfect lines to make any girl weak at the knee,” you told him as you opened your document for the final piece in this story. Admittedly, it was blank and had remained that way for some time. You knew it was because you were too busy with Brian in person that you couldn’t possibly think about writing about him as well.

However, you had received notice from Lily earlier in the day about your next deadline, and so you had promised after one movie tonight, you would end your evening with starting the next novel.

Glancing over at Brian who was still in the doorway, you smiled, and he nodded. “As long as you know it’s your knees I want to make weak every time. Have a good session, my love.”

However, two days later, you were still staring at a blank page. It wasn’t without trying, of course. You wrote, only to erase the sentence immediately. You told yourself to just let the words flow out and not edit them until you were done. Except nothing but a trickle of nonsense made it onto the document each time and after every gruelling session, you found yourself exhausted, mentally, and from simply staring at a blank page.

In all your years of creative writing, you had never been as stumped as you were now. It made no sense! You were living and breathing your own romance in life. Surely, the amount of affection Brian poured over you would easily inspire you enough to write it out. And generally, when you stepped into your office to write, it came from feeling inspired and uplifted to write about a world where love conquered all.

As soon as you were in front of your laptop, however, words failed you.

You had tried everything, from changing your writing schedule to practising with unrelated scenes. That had you hopeful. Every time you wrote a drabble about something outside of this series, you were capable of penning an entire world. In fact, you had now written a series of short stories about random characters and scenarios with relative ease. The success you felt from doing these was short-lived as soon as you opened Eternity, however. Nothing formed, nothing came to mind.

Nothing.

“Maybe it’s because I don’t want to share Brian with Charli,” you wondered out loud, immediately shaking your head. Whilst the Brian you were falling for fast, was that of the same Brian Charli would risk her all for, inside your literary world, you felt no need to keep him to yourself. You wanted Charli and Brian’s story to wrap up with a neat bow after their final tribulations of proving their love would outshine the obstacles in their way. You were determined to gift your readers what you had planned all along for the star-crossed lovers. And you needed to send Charli off on her merry way with a confirmed end.

Whilst your story with Brian continued.

“Just write something, Y/N!” you instructed yourself to do, poising your fingers above the keys.

It was a struggle, but they began to move, and you hoped this time would be the official start of your novel.

“So, what do you think?” you asked cautiously, staring at Lily as she read over what you had sent her.

Your editor didn’t say a thing, and sometimes that was a good notion. You had rendered her speechless yet again.

However, you knew better than that. She wasn’t speechless, she was in disbelief. Lily finally looked at the web camera on the video call and blinked several times. Pulling off her glasses, she wiped at them before placing them back over her eyes. And then she screamed incoherently.

“Lily, I can explain.”

“You better, and fast,” your editor stated back, trying to recompose herself. “This isn’t your writing.”

“Well, it is,” you told her, attempting to smile. Her laser glare wiped it off your lips, and you groaned. “So I think I’m having a writer’s block.”

“But you don’t suffer from writer’s blocks, you overcome them before they get to that level. What have you been doing for the last month that this is all you can turn in for me to look over?!”

“I’ve been a little preoccupied,” you announced, rocking back and forth in your chair. “And it’s sort of been hard to write.”

“I don’t buy it. You love to write.”

“I mean, I have been writing,” you agreed, grinning sheepishly. “Just not on what I’m contracted to be doing.”

“Y/N!” she whined, and you sighed heavily. “How are you going to make up time if you don’t even have a first chapter formed?!”

“I don’t know exactly, but do you think delaying the third story, especially since my second one is only at the publisher’s now preparing to print, can happen? I’m sure we don’t need to bang this series out one after the other. The hype from the wait will make it only more worthwhile for the fans!”

“Not if you plan on producing this type of rubbish! There’s no life in this part you’ve sent me! It’s as if Brian’s soul was sucked clear of this world and only Charli remains.”

You choked on the drink you had reached for, and this alerted the man in the adjacent room, your hands waving him off inconspicuously before Lily saw him.

You didn’t know what your editor’s reaction would be to find out your writer’s block stemmed from you dating someone. And you certainly didn’t want to find out either.

“That’s it, I’m coming over!”

“Lily, that’s unnecessary. You don’t have to!”

“Oh, but I do. My star writer is fumbling around and not focusing enough on what she needs to be doing. Boot camp is on its way.”

“I could help her,” a new voice added to the conversation and you clamped your eyes shut as you heard the wind being knocked out of Lily entirely. Brian crouched down at your side and smiled at the camera. “Lily Morton, correct?”

“You know my name.”

“Of course. You’re an important figure in my life.”

“I… I am?!”

“I mean, you help Y/N with her stories a whole deal, so that’s a special role to have.”

“Y/N, who is this person? He looks far too familiar and yet I feel I haven’t quite met him in the flesh before.”

“It’s a--” Catching yourself from your stalemate sentence, you smiled. And for some reason, you felt compelled to introduce him properly to someone. Before you even realised it, the words fell from your mouth.

“You’ve kind of met him already, Lily. This is Brian Kang, the star of our series.”

_________________

Part 8

[DAY6 Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist] | [Request Guidelines]

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kpurereactions · 7 years

Text

Im Yours | Part two

Pairing: Jaebum x Reader

Rating: Drama, Angst, Smut, Fluff

WARNINGS: Language, Eventual Violence, Lots of Smut Later on

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 FINALE

It's been three weeks. Three weeks of waking up early to be welcomed by BamBam, who now was so comfortable with you he started waiting in your living room and helping himself to coffee once he got there. Three weeks of the tinted car ride to the house filled with jokes and laughing as you and BamBam picked on the driver. Three weeks of making three meals a day for seven boys, and three weeks of still not knowing who the hell the seventh person was.

You didn't mind though, the boys you did know were enough as it was, given their loud personalities. You'd find yourself in between meals still with the boys who came and went in usually groups of two. You knew they were mainly in there for the snacks you'd make but you enjoyed their company so much you didn't care. That didn't stop you from teasing them though.

"Can it Youngjae, I know you're only in here cause I'm preparing you a stupid cheese platter." Or "If I throw out this cookie dough would you leave me alone?"

Today was just like all those before, but today Yugyeom would take his boss the egg Benedict you had prepared before you turned to prepare it for the rest of the boys. Jackson always seemed to make you laugh so hard that you almost dropped your spatula, which would send Youngjae into a fit of giggles. BamBam finally walked into the kitchen, his eyes going from tired to excited as he watched the commotion around you.

"Oh, hey Bam, can you add oregano, vanilla extract, and more eggs to the grocery list?" You started as he walked over to sit on his usual spot on the counter. You turned in time to see him nod and you noticed something on the collar of his shirt. Wiping your hands on your apron you approached him and took the fabric between your fingers.

"Did you nick yourself while shaving?" You asked, eyebrows pushing together as you pinpointed the spot as blood.

"What?" He'd say rubbing his hands down his neck. "I don't think so?"

"There's blood on your collar..." you said pulling at it more incase there was a cut somewhere else he didn't notice.

As you pulled at his shirt, BamBam let his eyes flick up to Jackson and Youngjae, all of them knowing perfect that that wasn't BamBams blood.

"Take your shirt off Ill try to get that out." You said patting his chest and bringing his attention back to you.

Without wanting you to ask any more questions or suspect anything he quietly stripping of his jacket and white shirt while you quickly finish breakfast, Yugyeom and Mark entering. The kitchen just as you slid the communal plate across the counter to them. You turned back to BamBam and thanked him as he handed you his shirt.

"I cut my finger." He lied, folding his arms over his chest that was still covered by a wife beater.

You nodded and crouched, pulling a few things out from under the sink before turning the faucet on. The boys watched you scrub at the stain, cursing it as it only faded a little.

"BamBam how long ago did you cut your finger!? It's not budging!" You said, knowing that around the 12 hour mark was when this concoction you're grandmother had taught you stopped working well. He just shrugged and took another bite of his food.

You gave up, it wasn't going to come out fully and you were surprised you were even able to get it to turn to more of a light coffee stain color.

"Don't wait so long next time, BamBam, damn." You scolded tossing his shirt back to him.

Jackson chuckled at this, the thought of you scolding one of them was humorous, especially since if you knew how he really got that stain you wouldn't have even been in the same room as him.

"What do you MEAN he slipped?" Jaebum said dangerously to all of the boys as they crowded around the table. Seeing BamBam returning to his room without his shirt sparked curiosity in Jaebums eye. He didn't expect to have to deal with the fact that BamBam was wearing the blood of the man he had beat into talking the night before.

"At least she thinks it's mine!" He said waving a hand.

"This time!" Jaebum said smacking the table hard, causing everyone to jump and fully look at him. "I've been nice. I've let you have your friend. There was ONE RULE!" He said siting down to try and calm himself but just working himself back up again.

"If any of you slip up and she becomes suspicious, you are the one who'll get to shoot your new friend." He said before waving his hand.

You didn't mind that no one was in the kitchen with you, usually after breakfast no one was as they all left to get work done. You took this time to start preparing the meat for dinner, creating a dry rub and needing the meat through it. The sound of a light bang followed by the sound of muffled yelling startled you, but made you smirk and after a few minutes when Yugyeom and Jackson filed back into the kitchen and started to pick at the nuts you were going to use during lunch, you looked at them smugly.

"Someone got in troubleeeee." You teased not looking up from the meat you were working.

"You're a smart ass." Jackson said.

"What are you gonna do." You shrugged getting Yugyeom to laugh slightly.

You were really excited for dinner. You were making a personal favorite so when the boys slowly started to file into the kitchen from the smell all you could do was smile. Everyone was there, to include Jinyoung who had warmed up quite a bit since you first met him. Right now he was laughing at something Yugyeom had said his eyes watching your hands as they worked.

"Wow it smells amazing in here." You heard from beside you. You watched everyone straighten in the seat and BamBam hopped of the counter before you turned to the voice.

He was even more handsome up close than he was from where he stood in the balcony. His hair now sleekly swept away from his face and in one of the nicest suits you have ever seen. His lips had turned slightly up as he smiled at you before looking down to the food thy was cooking in front of you. Looking to Jackson you mouthed boss? And nodded when he rose his eyebrows as a way to say yes.

"Um, Brown sugar glazed porkchops with garlic lemon asparagus and a balsamic peach and feta salad." You said telling him the menu for dinner.

"Very impressive. Do you mind if I join you all?" He asked, his eyes not leaving your face as you smiled.

"The big bad boss is finally coming out of his cave?" It slipped out of your mouth before you could stop it and seeing the way Yugyeom's head snapped up to you instantly mumbled a sorry.

But the sound of him chuckling made you, and really everyone else in front of you, snap your head to look at him.

"Jinyoung was right, you do have a mouth on you." His smile dropped slightly but the spark behind his eye was still there.

"It's both a blessing and a curse." You shrugged biting your lip a little while making him chuckle again.

Dinner was a little awkward for the boys with him there, but you found yourself enjoying that he was there, as he asked you question after question. At one point his eyes tightened and his lips opened to revile the most beautiful smile you ever seen. You couldn't help but blush as he laughed, thanking yourself that it was an embarrassing story.

"Were such bad friends." Mark, who was still chuckling softly at your story of how you ran around your neighborhood naked until you were 7, said pulling your attention away to look at him. "We've been your friends for what? Three weeks now? I feel like I've learned more about you in the 20 minutes Jaebum has been sitting here." He said as everyone agreed.

"Well to be fair the only thing I know about you guys is your name." You shrugged, not really caring since they were fun to be around.

"Y/n." Jaebum said, obviously about to change the subject. "I think it's safe to say having you here is great for all of us, but BamBam was telling me you live almost an hour away?" He said, the rest of the boys sitting up and smiling as if they knew what was going to be said next.

"Yeah.. never realize how much you guys wear me out till we get in the car to go home." You said chuckling.

"They are behaving right?" He asked raising an eyebrow, you smiled noticing the two moles that kissed the bottom of his brow.

"If they weren't I'm pretty handy with my knife skills so you don't have to worry about me." You said making everyone around you laugh.

"Good to know. These guys can be animals sometimes." He said slightly raising his eyebrow even more as all the others looked to their neighbor trying not to be too cocky at the compliment their boss had given them.

You had stayed a little big longer that night, red wine flowing around the large table you all settled in. The boys even started to open up a little, chiming in with child hood stories here and there. You found yourself completely entranced by Jaebum as you laughed at everything he said and turning to look at him every time he made a noise. It was the getting to the point where you were blushing at every word he said towards you.

"Damn this wine..." you said looking at the last sip you had, shaking your head as the boys laughed before you're hands went to your hot cheeks.

"Okay, I'm going to start cleaning so I can go home." You said fanning your hot face before standing up.

"Don't worry about it," Jaebum started, catching your hand as you started to reach for his plate. "The boys will do it." He said.

You looked to the boys who all fell into a grumpy state before standing up and taking their plates. You sat back down and thanked Yugyeom for taking yours before turning back to Jaebum.

"I still should probably get home though, I'm a monster in the morning if I don't get eight hours." You said shrugging slightly.

"Alright. Let's go." He said smiling before instructing Jinyoung to get your things.

"Really, I can get my own stuff." You said as Jinyoung disappeared into the kitchen.

"Y/n, you have been basically babysitting these guys the least they can do for you is collect your knives. You shrugged at this, he wasn't lying.

When Jinyoung returned he bowed slightly before telling you goodnight and soon BamBam was exiting the kitchen.

"I think I'll join you tonight, if that's alright." He said looking to BamBam who just nodded and took your things.

#Got7 #Got7 fic #got7 scenarios #got7 mafia #got7 mafia au #Im Jaebum #Jaebum #Jaebum gifs #jaebum scenarios #jaebum mafia

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elatedmarvel · 7 years

Text

Shadow: Part 12

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Natasha and Bucky rescue someone from their past. Being hunted down, they bring you to the Avengers. Will it be enough to keep you safe?

Warnings: depression, suicidal thoughts

A/N: I felt like I had to do a part of the reader suffering and the toll it takes on her. Again, I do not believe that anyone is a burden because of their disabilities or illnesses. Thank you all so much for reading. ~J

Masterlist Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

“How are you feeling now?” Bruce asks as he takes another blood sample. You plaster on your best smile, as you have been for 2 months now, and nod.

“I’m doing much better. More of an appetite now.” voice sounding a little too cheery, you make a note to calm down a bit.

“That’s good. I’m sorry it’s taking so long, but we��re getting close to a cure. I promise.” he says as he sticks another needle in your bruised arm.

“I know.” and you wince slightly. You couldn’t even sound convincing to yourself, but fortunately, Bruce was too preoccupied with your blood samples to notice. This vile would make 107.

“We should have another cure for you to try tomorrow.” and he walks away, putting the tubes on a rack.

“Great.” Not great. The first cure had made your hallucinations worse. The second one had temporarily blinded you, the third one left you numb and paralyzed, and the fourth one almost killed you, leaving you in a coma for a week.

These “cures” were messing with the serum already in your system and every time they thought they had found a way to destroy it, it came back with a vengeance.

With each new attempt you lost more of yourself. You stopped sleeping as much, eating was now a hassle and something that Bucky had to force you to do. You had for sure lost the light in your eyes and the lilt in your voice that Bucky had loved about you so much. You looked at yourself in the mirror and a shell stared back.

Leaving the lab, you spot Nat right away.

“You got stuck babysitting me?” you try to joke.

“I volunteered.” she says.

“I don’t need an escort from the lab to my room.” you roll your eyes as Nat starts to follow you down the hallway.

“I know you don’t. I wanted to see how you were.”

“You saw me 2 hours ago, not much has changed.”

“Well can’t I want to hang out with you?” and you want to snort at her thinly veiled attempts to watch over you.

Slightly limping to the elevator, you catch Nat eyeing you warily. You woke up this morning with a sore leg, but that was nothing new. It seemed that each day you would wake up with a new ailment. Yesterday you had a giant bruise from nowhere forming on your side. The day before that you had lost the ability to move your left hand. Everyday those would heal as new ones replaced them. It seemed you were never whole again.

The elevator dinged as you arrived on your floor. You smiled at Nat before throwing a “this is me” and almost running out of the elevator. Unlocking the door you shouted for Bucky, but hearing no response you realized you were alone. He must have gone training. Good.

You see the plate of food on the island counter, your favorite sandwich that you would have devoured, but now leaves a sour taste in your mouth. You read the note besides it;

Eat this and don’t forget to take your pills. Love, Bucky.

Sighing, you reached up to pull out the 7 prescription bottles you had to take with dinner. 3 pills with breakfast, 4 with lunch, and 7 with dinner. They ranged from controlling your fever and nausea, to making sure your major organs wouldn’t malfunction, to whatever else popped up that week.

You carefully looked at the brightly colored and oddly shaped pills in your hand. What would happen if you didn’t take them? The thought was pushed out of your mind as your hear Bucky’s keys jingle.

Tossing them in your mouth, you gulp copious amounts of water and take a bite of your sandwich.

“Кукла, how are you today?” Bucky says as he swoops to where you are and gathers you in his arms. He looks at the bite in the sandwich and nods.

“I’m good.” you murmur into his chest.

He pulls away and holds you at arm’s length, examining if you were telling the truth or not. His heavy and worrisome gaze makes you fidget as you look slightly behind him. Nodding when he sees nothing major has happened yet today, he releases you.

“I’m going to take a shower. Please finish the sandwich when I get back.” he says as he walks away.

“Ok.” you whisper back before taking 3 more small bites and stuffing the rest down the disposal. Once you’re sure Bucky’s in the shower, you turn it on and get rid of the evidence.

You pick up the maroon throw from the couch as you make your way to the patio. Wrapping yourself in it and sitting down in the lounger, your mind begins to wander. You think back to those sleepless nights you sat on the patio above this one when you first arrived at the tower, how the night Bucky had come outside to give you a blanket led to your relationship blooming again.

How you would give anything to be back there again. To be the young and in love, almost reckless person you were. To not have so many things wrong with you. To be able to be the person Bucky fell in love with instead of his constant burden.

Everything would be so much better if you could just go back in time, even for a moment. Or, if you could just stop trying to get better. Tears crept up on you as your vision blurred, but you pushed them aside, not knowing if Bucky would come out, you never let him see you cry about this.

You tried so hard not to be weak and scared when he was around. You pretended to get better, to be able to eat without wanting to throw up, and that you weren’t slowly, but surely dying.

Drying your tears, you sit up a bit more. You had to be done feeling sorry for yourself. The team had been giving everything they could to help you, and while you would be forever grateful, you were also ashamed to be such a nuisance. You weren’t worth the sleepless nights Bucky had, scared to death that if he fell asleep, you would die. The constant calculating and problem solving that Dr. Cho and Bruce went through.

At the beginning, the nonstop care and worry was sweet and enduring and made you want to fight. But, now it weighed down on you.

Shaking yourself from your depression, you slowly walk back inside. Bucky stood with his bare back to you and wet hair making himself dinner. You admired for a moment just how incredible he was. Turning around, he smiles when he catches you ogling.

“You know, I heard if you take a picture it’ll last longer.” he teases.

You just smile back at him as you walk toward him and pull him in for a hug. He embraces you tight and for a moment, everything feels right again.

“There’s a charity event that we have to go to in about an hour, but I can get someone to watch you or I can sneak back early.” you look up at him. The dark circles under his eyes are almost worse than yours and his cheekbones protrude out more. He looks worn out and tired.

“No. It’s ok. I can manage.” you smile lightly.

“I’m so sorry Y/N. But you know I wouldn’t go unless I really really had to. Something about showing goodwill towards the governments, we all have to go.”

“It’s ok. Go. Have fun, mingle with people. When was the last time you did that?” realizing that no one had really had fun since the gala.

“I’ll be back so soon you won’t even realize I’m gone.” he smiles.

“I always notice when you’re gone. I love you.” you breath out. You loved him with all of your weak heart.

“I love you too.” and kisses you with so much passion your knees start to wobble.

“Ok. You obviously have everyone’s number and F.R.I.D.A.Y will alert me if anything goes wrong.” Bucky says as he buttons his white shirt. You simply nod as you sit on your giant bed and watch him get ready. He was so handsome it stunned you sometimes.

“I really don’t have to go” he says as he turns towards you, pulling you into his arms.

“You really do. Can’t have the government thinking you’re sticking it to them now can we?” and as much as you would like to stay wrapped in his arms, it was for his own good to go.

He hums in agreement and holds you for a moment longer before kissing the top of you head and grabbing his suit jacket.

“I love you” he says as he walks out of the room.

“I love you too” you all but whisper.

You wait and hear the door open and close, and his footsteps disappear. The ding of the elevator signals that he’s gone and you spring into action.

Pulling the duffle bag from the closet you start to fling your stuff into it. Clothes, shoes, and toiletries all get haphazardly throw in. You take a second to look through your jewelry box, finding the necklace Bucky had bought you and tuck it safely in the pocket of one of your jackets. You pull your favorite picture of you and Bucky from the frame, one where you were too busy looking at each other, you didn’t notice the fireworks going off in the background.

You run your finger over Bucky’s face. He looked so happy and carefree, so different from now. You’re too busy convincing yourself this is best for everyone you don’t notice him until it’s too late.

“What’s going on?” Bucky’s voice booms.

You wince slightly and turn to look at him. His eyes flitting over the strewn about clothing and duffle bag, you see the moment of understanding and then the pain that fills his face.

“Your leaving?” he breaths out incredibly.

“It’s best for everyone.” you say in a voice so small you aren’t even sure he heard you.

“Best for everyone? For everyone to be worried sick that you’re dead somewhere in a ditch? Knowing that if we can’t find you in time you’re dead?”

“I can’t do this anymore Bucky.”

“Do what Y/N?” he yells.

“I can’t be this burden anymore! I can’t just sit here and watch all you guys dying with me! It’s not fair to you or them.” you scream back.

He opens his mouth to rebut, but you aren’t done yet.

“I know you’re going to say that I’m not a burden, but look at you! You haven’t slept in 2 months! You’re all so preoccupied babysitting me that no one else has a life. But no more. I refuse to be responsible for all of your worries and hardships anymore.”

“They are working” he starts but you cut him off, unable to stop your rampage.

“On a cure, I know. I was there when they almost killed me. We both know those aren’t going to work. Nothing will! I take so many fucking pills just to be slightly functional, but everything is going to shit anyways. At least if I leave I can die on my own terms and you don’t have to watch.” you spit out.

“You aren’t going to die.” he states.

“Yes I am! Wake the fuck up and see that I’m only getting worse!” and you pant for a moment after your outbreak.

You both stand there looking at each other stunned. You had never voiced your thoughts before, not wanting to concern Bucky even more, but now they were out in the open. Before you know it, you’re sobbing uncontrollably, the dam broke.

He immediately pulls you into his chest and cries with you. He can’t count how many times he’s barely kept it together for you. Everyday he wakes up scared it’ll be your last and hoping and praying that the cure will work this time. He was so sure you were gone when you were in the coma he lost it. Screaming and breaking everything in the kitchen, but of course you pulled through and he replaced everything before you noticed.

“I can’t live without you. I don’t want to.” he cries, “Everyday that you get worse, I die a little on the inside too. I know it looks like we’re all worse for wear, but I promise you that it’ll be worse if you disappear. I don’t think we’ll ever be ok again if you leave. You can do this. You can make it. Just… just hold on a little longer. Please, for the team. For me.” he begs.

All you can do is hug him harder and nod. You can do it. You can hang on. For him and for the rest of your Avengers family, you would do anything.

Part 13

Translation:

Кукла- doll

Taglist:

@bexboo616 @sebstanwassup @buckyb4rnacle @captainbuckyreid @demoncrypt1066 @elaacreditava @writing-soldiers @aroyaldarknessblr @cumberbabe92 @tearsandbloodofmyenemies @oceanshockey @astronomyturtle @owhatshername1 @shadowingthemoonlight @jimmyisfab @littlepartofheaven @sadanddeadsoul @rhaeneris @mcuimxgine @isnow-0r-never @sleepretreat @learisa @beefybuffybucky @death-by-teacup @misscherryberry @extraterrestrialsky

(if you name is bolded, I can’t tag you for some reason.)

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes angst #tw:depression #tw: sucidal thoughts #winter soldier fan fiction #winter soldier fanfiction #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier #winter soldier fic #winter soldier angst #bucky barnes series #marvel x reader

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wwecreaturesofdarkness · 7 years

Text

Past Lives: Intro (Prt 1)

ok so this is going to be a series because I have problems that’s why..haha. (I AM ADDING TO THIS!!!! I PROMISE I WILL HAVE PART $ OUT THIS WEEK SOME TIME)

Reader (unknown {its a surprise kinda}) has been with Baron Corbin(werewolf) for awhile and then they fight leading to her starting to get feelings for Finn Balor (Demon King)

uhh warnings: demons and werewolves, cussing, violence, we aren’t to the heavy stuff yet but masturbating is in this, cheating and warning for all you Wolf Mamas Baron is an asshole at first in this…later he comes around.

WORD COUNT: about 1,950

“I have a title shot and you want me to take a night to take YOU out?” Baron stood next to you in the bathroom mirror.

“It is one night, come on you can do one night for me.” you looked at your boyfriend.

The last 3 months seemed to be all about his title shot. Something else seemed off, but you figured the full moon was soon.

“Whatever (y/n).” Baron threw his hands in the air. “I guess ill get you something to eat.” He turned and walked away without another word.

You spent the rest of the day getting ready for Smackdown and then hopefully a dinner date. You put your favorite black skinny jeans on and a white shirt. You slipped your stud filled booties on and grabbed your vest you made to match Baron. You checked yourself in the mirror again when you arrived before getting all the makeup out to start working on the superstars.

You watched everyone get hair and makeup done until Becky came up to you.

“Hey lass,” she smiled. “Ready?”

“Yea, sorry,” you motioned to the chair. “How’s everything going?” you smiled to your best friend as you braided her hair.

“Good!” she smiled cheerfully. “How are you and Wolf boy.”

You didn’t know how to answer. Recently it was hard, in fact, you weren’t sure where you stood with Baron at the moment.

“Ok,” you weakly answered.

“That’s not a good answer.” Becky’s voice got serious. “If you need to talk you know where I am.” She patted my arm.

I finished up her hair and makeup and showed it to her.

“Go kick some ass.” I high fived her and then gave her a hug.

We were the last 2 in the makeup area. she turned to go towards the ring and almost ran into Baron. “Woah, sorry.” She looked to you as an apology then looked down and walked away.

“I think we need to talk.” He leaned on the wall next to your makeup table.

“What’s up babe.” You smiled as cheerfully as you could to him and started cleaning your makeup brushes.

“Is there a reason you are wearing those pants?” he motioned to you.

“No, I mean they match yours. I match you tonight. White shirts, boots, black jeans, our vests.” You popped your vests sleeve trying to make him laugh.

“Finn and Seth are talking about your ass in those.”

“And?” you raise an eyebrow.

“AND?” Baron yelled. “You’re fucking mine quit showing yourself off.”

“Baron we have talked about this. I’ve been with you 2 years, I do what I want, honey badger, it should make you proud they look and can’t touch.”

Baron punched the wall and looked at me. “You.Are.Mine. you don’t flaunt yourself over a demon and a dirty ass incubus.”

“Both are demons dear.” You kept cleaning up without making eye contact.

“Stop it.” Baron was right next to you now. his breath was hot on your neck.

“What is wrong?” you looked up to him. “Why are you acting like this?”

“If you think that you can just do whatever you want whenever I guess you don’t need wolf protection anymore.”

“What?” you shook your head trying to understand what was going on. “Baron I don’t ask you to protect me.” you slammed your brushes down. “What is going on?”

“nothing,” he turned to walk away.

Baron knew better than that. You grabbed his arm and pulled him to you. To him you wear short even with your booties on. He looked down to you. You could see in his eyes his blood beginning to boil.

“don’t you dare walk away from me Baron Corbin.” You held his arm. “I am your girlfriend. I love you and I deserve to know what the hell is up your ass.”

Baron smiled. “You don’t deserve shit, walking around here like that. You think your better then me.”

“That makes no fucking sense.” You yelled letting him go. “I have supported you through this whole lone wolf shit and acted like you parading yourself around single is no big deal. I follow you everywhere do everything you need me to do and that is not what I am supposed to do Baron. My kind is better than that, yet I do it because I love you.”

“I fucked another girl 6 months ago.” Baron let the words roll off his tongue. “You aren’t satisfying my needs anymore (Y/N). it just happened.”

You stood there, shocked and confused. He went to reach for you and you pulled away.

“You are the dirtiest person I know. What kind of Alpha cheats on his alpha female, on his royal word? On me?” you felt the tears coming. “Get away from me.” you pushed him back. “I knew there was something wrong, I could smell it on you. You aren’t an Alpha,” I pushed him back again trying to get some distance for when I turned.

Baron growled at you. “You think you’re better than everybody, just because of what you are.”

“I’M FUCKING ROYAL BARON!” you felt Seth’s arms wrap around your hips as Baron lunged at you.

This was nothing new. Baron and Seth helped train you. You were use to Baron’s temper and you both agreed that it could become psychical at times. Seth knew how to calm you down, but tonight was different. You felt the fire in your blood.

Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper held Baron back. They all 3 tried calming you both down but there was no stopping it. Baron phased in the middle of the backstage area and got in your face. You pushed Seth off just as Hunter came into the room.

“THIS IS NOT HOW WE ACT!” he clapped his hands and both you and Baron were in front of him apologizing.

“Keep yourselves together.” Hunter looked to Baron. “I don’t know what you did to her but you need to watch it. STAY IN HUMAN FORM!” he turned on his heel without another word.

You looked up and saw he was out of sight. You then turned to Baron. “We are done.”

“Fine by me. I have others lined up to take your place. Good luck finding anyone to deal with your royal attitude.” He waved you off as you went down the hallway.

You acted like it didn’t hurt you for the next couple of days. You stayed in your hotel room until it was show time and you came back as soon as your part was over. Becky caught on to it and came to your room one day.

“He was cheating on ya and now he’s out having a grand ol time while you play wsob story.” She sat on your bed. “Come on (Y/N). have some fun!”

“I don’t want to, Becky. I just want to focus on me now. maybe find sometime to talk Hunter into giving me a better job spot.”

“But you’re the only one who can do the Balor paint.” She nudged you with her elbow. “And who knows Finn Balor better then me?” she held her arms up in the air.

“I’m not going to play the revenge card.” You huffed. “Now go, before you are late.” You opened the door and shooed her out.

You gathered yourself and headed down to the arena an hour later. You set up your air brush station and mixed the paints together. You did some normal makeup on the girls and cut Roman and Seth’s hair for them while waiting on Finn to show up.

“Ready (Y/N)?” he smiled to you.

You looked up at him over your phone screen and jumped out of the chair you were in.

“Let’s do this Balor.” You chuckled and got to work. You had never thought of Balor the way Becky had mentioned. Not until now. he made you nervous today for some reason.

“I like those jeans on ya.” He chuckled.

“Thanks.” You realized you were wearing the ones that caused the fight. You were sure Baron would text you about that one. You kept your head down and finished out the Balor paint. You sprayed him down to keep the paint on him and then showed him in the mirror.

“Like it?”

“It looks great, just like every other time.” He smiled to you.

“Yay!” you clapped and started clean up.

Finn left you and you were suddenly joined by a much taller man. You turned to see who was behind you to see Baron with flowers in his hands.

“I miss you.” He offered you your favorite flowers.

“Thanks but I’m ok.”

“You’re wearing those jeans again.” he said roughly.

“Yea and you have hickeys all over your neck, you’re not pulling me back in Corbin.”

“Come home.”

“Fuck off.”

“is there a problem?” Finn was next to you again.

“Get away small fry or I’ll rip your killing eye out.”

“Big talk for a wolf.” Finn was now in front of you.

“You royals are all the same.” Baron huffed out before walking away.

Finn was gone almost as fast as he appeared. You finished clean up but couldn’t get him out of your head. 3 days went by, 5 days since you broke it off. Baron tried talking to you again but this time he broke his hand slamming it into a wall when you told him no. he got in your face again and Finn and Hunter were the 2 to get you.

When it all settled down you went back to the hotel and laid in bed. The thought of Finn had been on your mind for days now. in fact the night before you debated if you should think of him while you played with yourself, but chose against it. you tossed and turned all night trying to decide what to do. Nothing helped. You drifted in and out of sleep until finally just zoning out enough to rest.

You felt eyes staring at you through the window. You tried ignoring them but then you finally looked over to see two red dots fly away as soon as you saw them. your chest pounding wondering what it was, but every thought you had that scared you, you put Finn in to protect you.

By 5 in the morning you finally decided you would talk to him later. He would know what to do about Baron and maybe help you with some other things too. Becky slipped into your hotel room.

“(Y/N)?”

“I hate that you can do that.” You answered.

“Shh, look Finn texted me and said he can’t stop thinkin of ya. I honestly think ya need to see what’s up.”

“Becky-“

“You’ve been in here all night trying not to think of him. I can smell it on ya.” She slammed her foot down. “Just try.”

“Fine,”

“Thank ya.” She smiled at you and went back out of the room.

You sighed and rolled over on your back. ‘maybe I’ll try it. it wouldn’t hurt.’ You thought as you reached down to your won slit. You could feel the wetness building up inside you. You imagined Finn standing over you looking down on your naked body just watching you. Almost like you were prey to him. Your fingers slid in and out a couple times before you focused on you clit. You closed your eyes to see more of Finn, within seconds you reached climax and tried not to scream out his name. you finally caught your breath and made a mental note to talk to Finn later again and then slowly rolled over finally able to fall asleep.

#finn balor #baron corbin #fanfic #werewolf #demon king

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