#am i only using circus on purpose no

[orshii]

Will I Ever See You Again? CHAPTER 1: Last To Fall

Author: orshii

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x reader

Warning: cursing, violence, blood

Word count: 4,6 k

Summary: You were left alone with your brother, Yunho, and his best friend Hongjoong, after your parents' death. Yunho had someone to grieve with, but you? You had no one as your brother and his best friend pushed you away, singing becoming your only savior. There was one rule that Yunho made inside his friend group: “Don’t touch my sister”. And for this reason, Hongjoong had always kept his distance. But one night, you find yourself in danger. And from then on, Hongjoong does not leave your side. He is suddenly overprotective of you, and your relationship shifts and becomes fraught with tension and unspoken feelings, with secrets lurking beneath the surface and a painful past haunting you. Will you find out the secrets your brother and best friend have been keeping away from you? Will you be able to finally free yourself from your cruel past?

Will you fall in love amidst the chaos around you?

A/N: Finallyy...the adventure starts everyone!! Yayy, I really hope you are going to like this whole rollercoaster, I really tried with this one. Please look forward to this story, as it has a really special place in my heart. Before reading, or while reading, please listen to WTF by Sasha Sloan, as it is included in the story. Okaay, enjoy!! hehet.

Taglist: @bvidzsoo @vixensss @deltamoon666 @scarfac3 <3 (taglist is still open if you are interested)

I stepped onto the stage, darkness tightly hugging around me as I became one with it. I stood by the microphone, waiting for my bandmates to settle down. They nodded once they were ready and the lights suddenly blinded me as everyone could see us now. I felt vulnerable for a second, but when Yeosang, my best friend, started playing the acoustic guitar as he gave me a reassuring look, I finally got the courage to start singing.

♪ Sometimes I got a hard time seeing the point to existing ♪

My vocals resounded around the enclosed space as Yeosang accompanied me with his guitar, representative of our real-life connection. He has always followed after me, guiding me, holding my hand if I needed a little extra support. 

♪ Sometimes I got a hard time

Seeing the good in the chaos ♪

And then Jongho joined in with the drums that sounded like thunder, followed by San, who was our bass guitarist. I looked over to him as I sang, our gazes connecting as he smiled at me, telling me everything was alright with his soft eyes. These boys gave me the strength I needed to step out in front of the world and sing about my feelings.

♪ Am I the only one losing my mind? 

What the fuck am I doing here? ♪

It was weird singing about my feelings right in front of so many strangers, who came to the pub either to get laid or just have some fun. The thing is, that I feel more comfortable singing in front of people who I don't know, because I know they won't judge me. They are only here to enjoy themselves, listen to my singing, which is more like background music to them after a certain amount of alcohol has made it inside their systems, however, sometimes they would sympathize with the lyrics, I could easily see it in their eyes.

♪ Stuck in a one-man circus

Trying to find some purpose

But it’s unclear  ♪

Singing, was the only thing that kept me going after all the bad things that have happened in my life. I could escape my feelings like this, letting them out into the world. This was the only time when I allowed people to see the real me, my real feelings, because the second the music was over and people cheered, my mask was back on and my emotionless self was back again, showing no interest in anything at all. I was back to the state of not feeling, of being a robot who had to just simply survive. Days mushed into one, monotone and repetitive, there was no fun in being alive anymore. But still, something kept me going, something kept me alive, and I wasn't allowed to leave, yet. 

I had nobody except my brother, Yunho, whom I love the most, and my only purpose in life is to make his easier, so he doesn't have to suffer like me. We went through tough times together, and we had to stick to each other in order to survive. I have always tried my best, and I still do everything I can to support him. 

Speaking of him, I have to be at his boxing match in ten minutes. I quickly hurried backstage, where my bandmates were and hugged them tightly. I was happy to see them, and grateful that they were doing this with me. We have created our band just for fun, no serious intentions were put into it, however, we got an opportunity to perform some nights at a pub called, MIST. We asked the owner a few times to let us play, and in the end he allowed it. I guess it was an escape for all of us. An escape from a cruel world in which we couldn’t truly be ourselves. 

I ran towards my car with Yeosang trying to keep up so that we wouldn't be late to the match. 

"Are you okay?" Yeosang asked me as I drove off fast once we were seated inside the car. I really didn't want to be late.

"Yeah, of course." I briefly glanced at him. He saw how tired I was, so he was worried. I haven't slept well at least in the past three years, so my face kinda always looked like. Some people may think I was a living zombie, so I get it.

"You sang beautifully tonight." He smiled at me proudly.

I felt the urge to smile back at him, "Thank you, for being there for me too." I didn’t look at him, but I knew he was still smiling.

"I had no choice, I was the one playing the guitar." Yeosang teased with a chuckle.

"Mhm, so I am forcing you to play now?" I gave him a quick side glance.

"No, no." He put his hand on mine as it was on the gearstick, "I'm glad I can play alongside you, it's an honor, Milady." He grabbed my hand and gently pecked my knuckles. 

I chuckled as after running a few traffic lights and avoiding traffic as best as I could, we finally arrived to the Boxing Club. A few people were still outside, smoking a cigarette or waiting for someone, so this meant that the match hadn't started yet. We went inside the building and there were already a lot of people sitting in the grandstands. The air was a bit cold in the big hall. Some people stood around the boxing ring while behind them there were seats available, our reserved ones being among them. We went over to find them as I could feel excitement overcoming my whole body. The atmosphere was full with anticipation as everyone was here to see some fist fighting between bulky and angry men. I had no idea what the rules of these boxing matches were, but when my brother was in there, I felt like if anyone tried to harm him, I was going to get inside that ring and punch the motherfucker until he’s passed out. But to my luck, Yunho was one of the best boxers here. He was tall and well-built, and he didn't have enemies in this little town that would come to challenge him. Everyone feared him.

And he rarely lost too. One of the few occasions when he did lose, was against his best friend, Kim Hongjoong. He was shorter than Yunho, but he was strong still, and since he was smaller, he had the advantage of being quicker as well, so, he outplayed Yunho. Even though Hongjoong lost one of his teeth that one time, he was still smiling proudly over his win. I had a feeling that Yunho maybe let him win.

Yunho and Hongjoong have been best friends since forever. Hongjoong was kind of part of our family at this point as he had lost his own family in a car accident, and my father was there for him, together with Yunho, trying to breathe life into Hongjoong again. After a while, my dad started taking care of Hongjoong as if he were his own son, and one day I woke up to him suddenly living with us. Yunho and Hongjoong were like brothers and I was so envious of their relationship, because Yunho never told me anything, he never told me what he was feeling, he pushed me away, only letting Hongjoong in. I hated it, I hated that I was left alone, alone with my thoughts, with my feelings, after our father died. It was tough for everyone; the three of us were left without a parental figure for good now. Everything just seemed so suspicious to me, I didn’t know anything about how my father died, about what happened to him. Yunho and I were alone now, but he had another sibling to grieve with and I had to stay strong, alone. It was the three of us, yet they pushed me away like I was some stray cat, unworthy of their time and attention anymore.

I looked over at Yeosang, and I smiled as he sat next to me, looking around with big puppy eyes, taking in the atmosphere. Suddenly, I felt the urge to hug him. He was by my side from the second we met last year, when we bumped into each other as both of us were trying to find our next class, realizing in the process that we both were music majors. From then on, we did everything together. He kind of brought me back to life, he was a real sunshine in my life as his blonde hair lightened his beautiful face with a glow always to it, his birthmark under his left eye making him look even more ethereal. I have always admired him, and felt lucky that I had bumped into him. So, I hugged him, hiding my face in his neck, his scent enveloping me, offering me peace. He smelled like orchids, that's why my favorite flowers were orchids. 

He chuckled, "Okay, you’re acting strange, Y/N. Are you sick?" He pressed his palm against my forehead, checking if I had a fever. 

I smiled, "No, I’m not. I just wanted to hug my best friend, is that such a bad thing now?" I moved closer to him, not wanting to let go just yet.

"You never hug me, sorry, but it is strange." He looked down at me, smiling.

"I know…that's why I'm doing it now, because I'm glad you’re here, with me." It was rare that I expressed how I felt, I wasn’t the type to vocalize my thoughts so easily. 

"Yeah, me too." He hugged me tight and warmly. I felt safe in his arms, never wanting to let go of him.

After we killed the time by goofing around, finally the match started and we were waiting for my brother to appear in the ring, so that we could cheer for him. Kim Hongjoong was the first to compete against a big guy, so buffed up that I was kind of worried he would break Hongjoong into pieces. Both participants prepared for the fight, and when it started, Hongjoong looked like a little bunny next to the big man. However, Hongjoong never failed to surprise me with his strength as he attacked his big opponent with two perfectly timed strikes. The guy had no choice at all, Hongjoong didn’t even give him time to try and attack him. The man just blinked, and then he was on the floor. The crowd cheered for Hongjoong as he fist bumped the air as he celebrated his quick win with the crowd. 

After Hongjoong, more men fought inside the ring and it was becoming boring. They were playing the cat and mouse game, but finally one of them punched the other one and he was knocked out so hard that the ambulance had to be called. Nothing too unusual. 

Finally, Yunho appeared inside the ring with a confident smile, his opponent being Song Mingi, his other best friend. They had a very interesting dynamic, always glued together, they acted like I imagine soulmates would. I have always adored their friendship; it was unbreakable and full of respect. I really wouldn’t be surprised if one day they announced they were in love, really, I wasn’t blind, I could see the tension between them. I could see the way Yunho looked at Mingi, his eyes having a particular glint in them as if Mingi was his whole world, Yunho always only saw him. Yunho not only had Hongjoong by his side, but Song Mingi as well.

It was shitty when you had to compete against your best friend, but, may the better man win. They were standing in front of each other, both tall, but their bodies shaped differently. Mingi was always quick to dodge the strikes, but Yunho was merciless, and he never stopped. The crowd went silent as the thick tension between them made everyone shut up and follow their match on the edge of their seats. I knew Yunho well, and I was sure he did not care about the fact that he was going to kick his best friend’s ass in no time, because he only wanted to win. He was addicted to the rush he felt when winning. May you be lucky enough to never encounter Yunho after a match he lost, his rage scary and dangerous. I saw how Yunho and Mingi murmured to each other, something only they could. Mingi seemed a little off today, like he wanted to be anywhere, but here. Yunho, on the other hand, continued smiling confidently and quite smugly, not even noticing the expression on Mingi’s face, which seemed to be screaming that he didn’t want to fight against his best friend. 

Yunho was the first to attempt strike against Mingi, and he hit him straight in his ribs. After a few more tricks and moves, all we could see was Mingi trying to hit Yunho, but my brother dodged all of his poor attempts. Mingi seemed to have loosened up a bit as a smile appeared on his face. Suddenly, they smiled at each other, it seemed like a friendly match between the two, until it wasn’t anymore, until Yunho suddenly managed to strike some counter kicks and hits at Mingi and he was on the floor, his mouth bleeding. Mingi looked mad, disappointment showing on his face. But he suddenly got up and hit Yunho straight in the face. Yunho was taken aback, so he couldn’t fight back for a moment, and Mingi managed to hit him once or twice. But Yunho was the type to never give up, even if he had only one unbroken bone. The crowd around us suddenly roared with such loudness I wanted to cover my ears, especially when they cheered because my brother got hit, I didn’t like that. But Yunho suddenly got the strength to hit back, and that was Mingi’s last chance. He was on the floor after getting showed against the iron bars aggressively and roughly, now barely able to move from the pain. I felt sorry for Mingi. Yunho was so blinded by the rush of adrenaline he got, that he didn’t even realize that his best friend was on the ground, bleeding, because of him. This side of Yunho had always scared me, I didn’t recognize him when he was like this. And I was sure Mingi was fighting his inner demons as well, trying to understand Yunho somehow. In the end, the referee raised Yunho’s arm into the air, announcing he had won against his best friend, who had stormed off angrily towards the changing room. 

A few more matches passed, and then in the next one Hongjoong lost against a guy who seemed to know every calculated move of his. The guy easily dodged Hongjoong’s attempts, and quickly gave a few strikes back, straight into Hongjoong’s face and ribs. Hongjoong was breathing quickly, and my heart started to race. I was a bit worried for him as the guy tried to hit him again, but he dodged it, and punched the guy’s solar plexus. The guy fell to the ground, but it seemed he was a tough guy, and he got angry as I watched Hongjoong tell him something. That was when the guy moved forward quickly and stroke Hongjoong in the ribs with force, immediately making Hongjoong pass out. The crowd stood up at once, myself included, as Yeosang followed with a gasp, all of us shocked as we couldn’t believe the fucker knocked Hongjoong out.. The referee announced the guy as the winner, and finally, Hongjoong slowly opened his eyes, barely moving as someone helped him out of the ring. So, Hongjoong was out of the competition. After that, Yunho had a few more fights, Mingi as well, but in the end, Yunho was announced as the number one winner of the night. 

When the matches were finally over and the crowd started to slowly disperse, I waited for Yunho so I could congratulate him. Yeosang had already left as he needed to go home for some unknown reason to me. I was near the ring, but nobody was in the room as I read briefly over the history of boxing displayed on the walls. There were a pair of old boxing gloves on a shelf and I took it into my hands, wanting a closer look.

"Wanna learn?" A sudden voice from behind made me jump a little.

I turned around and saw Hongjoong coming my way, freshly showered, wearing a black tank top that tightened around his upper body perfectly, paired with black sweatpants. He had some fresh bleeding cuts on his eyebrows and lips, his two-colored, black and blonde hair was still wet, falling into his eyes. The colors of his hair kind of represented his personality. I knew he had a bright side that he only allowed Yunho to see, and whom he felt close with. And he had a dark side, which I have known from the beginning as he was always unnecessarily protective and mean with everyone. He had a really bad reputation, and he was a bad influence on Yunho. That’s why I hated him as he made Yunho become part of some dangerous gang, the two doing some illegal shit together. These things never ended well…

"Not really." I shrugged, and placed the old gloves back in their spot. 

"Come, I'll teach you some tricks. It may come in handy, and who knows, you may have to knock out some bastards." He said, motioning with his hands to follow him as he jumped up into the ring.

"When is Yunho coming?" I asked, looking up at him.

"In a few minutes. He is currently yelling at Mingi, so until they finally figure their shit out, come." He reached his hand out towards me, so that he could pull me up beside himself.

I sighed, and with a frown grabbed his hand, allowing him to pull me up. I suddenly felt worried about Yunho, I didn’t want him to fuck up whatever had been lately happening between him and Mingi. On the other hand, I didn't understand why Hongjoong was suddenly acting like this. We were never really on good terms, but we also weren't on bad terms. It was always as if the other wasn’t there, like we grazed past the other. Most of times, it was Hongjoong doing this, so, after a while, I started doing the same. And yes, I started hating him as well, because I felt jealous of him stealing my brother away from me.

I put the gloves on Hongjoong handed me. It was a weird feeling, but if I’m being honest, I would gladly punch him in the face with these gloves on or off. Preferably off, would feel more real.

"Can I punch you?" I blurted out without thinking much. 

"No? Why would you?” He looked at me with a frown, “Wasn't it enough when that other guy just knocked me out like I was nothing but a feather?"

"No, it wasn't. I want to be the one to knock you out." I tried to scare him as I hit the air in front of his face.

"Okay, okay, chill out, sugar." He grabbed my wrists, "You'll have another chance to take me out, but it’s not now." He said with a smirk, and I scoffed at the realization of how he meant it. Hell, no. I wanted to punch that smirk off of his face.

He started explaining how to hit someone in the solar plexus so that you knock them out immediately. I could practice as he held his palms up. I held my right hand in front of my face, because like he said, one hand must be there to protect your face. With my other hand, I punched his palm. Left-right, then right-right, and so on. After a few strikes he said that I could practice some more on his abs as he pulled his tank top up. I gulped seeing his toned abs, bruised with black and blue marks on his ribs.

“God, you are so bruised. I’m not merciless enough to hit you in this state, Hong.” I said, my eyes still on the cruel bruises. 

“Don’t worry, sugar. You only need to hit my lower stomach now. Try and find my solar plexus, but you can’t hit me strong enough to knock me out.” He smiled confidently and took his lifted-up top between his teeth, his hands held up behind his head, waiting for me to strike. 

Oh, so I couldn’t hit him strong enough? At first, I softly punched his stomach as he was watching me with eyes that made me feel like I was his prey and he’d pounce on me any minute now.

“C’mon, sugar. You can do better.” He said, taking the top out of his mouth just so he could talk to me.

“Fuck you.” I snapped, getting angrier. Suddenly, I struck him with all the strength I could muster up, aiming at his solar plexus only. It felt good. I started cackling loudly when I successfully hit him hard enough that he hunched over, trying to catch his stolen breath.

"Okay, okay, I think you've got this now." He raised his hands in the air in surrender, "But next time, you have to get it right away. It hurts, but it has to be the perfect timing if you want to knock the other one out." 

He stepped closer, reaching his hands out, one settling on my lower back and the other on my lower stomach, "You have to hit right here, without missing." He said it in a low voice, whispering it into my ear, his warm breathing sent shivers down my body as it tickled my skin.

“Your strikes are good, but if I wasn’t an unmoving target, I could’ve knocked you out in seconds, your left-hand needs to be here.” He raised my left hand slowly to hold it in front my face, “You need to protect that pretty face of yours.” His face was emotionless, I couldn’t read his features.

“You couldn't protect your dumb face, from that guy who knocked you out.” I said, getting angrier.

He chuckled, “Okay, sugar, fair enough.” He stepped even closer, watching me with an unnerving hunger in his eyes.

“One last thing.” Slowly, he let his hands travel down to my inner thighs, close to my knees, and made me stand in a wider stance, “You need to stand balanced so that you can put all your power into your fists.”  

Fuck this, I didn’t sign up for this. He really just touched me without asking for permission first, acting like he could do anything to me without it there being repercussions to his actions.

“Can you like, not touch me every time you try to explain something?” I snapped with a glare as I got more furious because of his actions.

Hongjoong looked at me with a surprised look on his face. I guess he didn’t even realize he made me feel uncomfortable. I was seconds away from recoiling and hitting him hard, showing him just how easily I could knock him out if I really wanted to, but suddenly Yunho was shouting at us.

"Hands off my sister, Joong!" Yunho approached the ring just as Hongjoong quickly jumped back, putting a great distance between our bodies.

"I just wanted to teach her some techniques she can use in the future." He raised his hands again in the air, genuineness showing on his face as he slowly walked near Yunho. Now he was acting like he was the hero and I was some damsel in distress needing his help, how funny.

"Let's hope she won’t have to use them, then." Yunho looked at Hongjoong with deadly eyes. This always happened when I was the subject of their conversation, they acted like I wasn’t even there, they talked about me like I was an object. 

There was a stupid rule that Yunho had come up with, “My sister is off limits, if you try to touch her, I'll just simply kill you.” And this rule did work because no one really dared to even as much as look at me. I hated it because I never had the chance to have fun. Yunho was always there in the shadows, letting others know that, “If you touch her—well you know what happens.” 

I have always felt like I was a princess held in a big tower, wanting to desperately escape...

"Let's drink something at MIST." Yunho said, sounding a bit angry and tired. He reached his hands out towards me, helping me off the platform.

"I thought you were coming home, that's why I waited for you." I jumped off the ring, accepting my brother’s help. It was alarming how cold I felt without Hongjoong by my side.

"I want to celebrate, come drink with us." Yunho looked at me through his dark eyelashes, his black hair still wet from the shower. 

"Nah, I'm tired, I'll just go home." I said, rubbing my face as I fought against a yawn.

"Do you need a lift? Hong can take you home, I came by bike." He pointed at Hongjoong, who finally jumped off from the ring, ready to take me home.

"I came by my car, so I don't need a lift.” I said, looking at Hongjoong with a sharp glare, “Alright then, see you at home, don't get shitfaced." I turned around and walked towards the exit.

"Drive safely, and send me a message when you have arrived!" Yunho shouted after me.

I just lifted my thumb up in as a silent way of telling him okay, and left the building. The weather was a bit chilly this evening as I was headed towards my car, trying to find my keys in my backpack full of notebooks and torn out pages. As I was walking towards my car under the moonlight, my mind was whirling around with thoughts accompanied by an unfamiliar melody, that I have noticed I started making up lately very randomly. The words that came to me had the potential to be even some lyrics, but it wasn’t anything I have heard before. It was my own song.

≫ The feeling of being drowned in your thoughts,

Trying to find someone who’ll jump to save you. ≪

I have never wrote music before, I thought I wasn’t talented enough for that, but this melody that lately had been playing in my head made me want to write these random lyrics down, so that maybe I could create something special too one day..

I finally found the keys to my car, and I sat inside my black Honda Civic, igniting the engine to life. I suddenly felt hungry, so I decided to stop at a restaurant, called Granny's, on my way home to order some takeout. It was a fifteen-minute drive from where the boxing matches were held, and after I arrived, I went inside the restaurant and ordered some chicken wings with french fries. I patiently waited around a bit for my order to be finished, then I paid and said my goodbyes.

I was currently headed to my car, grabbing the keys from my pocket, food in my other hand, when suddenly, I heard footsteps behind me. I had no time to think as I suddenly found myself on the dirty ground. I hadn't even reached my car, it was blocked by two tall figures dressed in all black, and as I looked behind myself, I saw two other men staring at me like they were going to kill me right then and there.

A/N: Ty for reading, just one thing, if that Yungi fight scene caught your eyes (wink), my best friend @bvidzsoo, wrote a behind story for them on AO3, I recommend it is very good, I died.

「Series masterlist」 -Next part-

#orshii #kim hongjoong #hongjoong #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong ateez #hongjoong smut #kim hongjoong smut #hongjoong fluff #kim hongjoong fluff #hongjoong angst #kim hongjoong angst #ateez series #ateez smut #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez x reader #hongjoong scenarios #kim hongjoong scenarios #ateez imagines #boxer hongjoong #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #jung wooyoung #choi jongho #no1likehongjoong #Spotify

[lokisbiiiitch1993]

My favourite Loki Quotes

Love is a Dagger 🗡️

I don't wanna hurt you.i don't want a Throne.i just want you to be okay 🥺

I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose

I assure you Brother...the Sun will Shine on us again

Trust my Rage

No one good is ever truly good and no one bad is ever truly bad

Hurts, doesn’t it. Being lied to. Being told you’re one thing and then learning it’s all a fiction.

I never wanted the throne, I only ever wanted to be your equal!

You will never be a god

The Time-Keepers have built quite the Circus and I see the Clowns are playing their parts to Perfection

You can trust one thing.I love to be right

We may lose... sometimes painfully..but we don't die ..we survive

It’s been a very long day, and I think I’ve had my fill of idiots in armored suits telling me what to do. So, if you don’t mind, this is actually your last chance. Now get out of my way.

I don’t enjoy hurting people....I don’t enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I’ve had to…. Because it’s part of the illusion.... It’s the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. A desperate play for control

I know what I am....Good.... Bad.... Bit of both

Trust is for children and dogs.theres only one person you can trust

I remember a shadow, living in the shade of your greatness

I could have done it, Father....i could have done it.....For you... For all of us

My Masterlist

#loki #loki laufeyson #mcu loki #loki odinson #loki marvel #loki fluff #loki imagine #loki disney+ #loki quotes #loki laufeyson quotes #mcu quotes #marvel quotes #loki x reader #loki x y/n #loki of asgard #loki x female reader #loki laufeyson x reader #marvel x reader #mcu x reader #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #marvel mcu #marvel #mcu

[shini--chan]

Yandere Character Sheet

Did anybody ask for Overhaul? No! Are you still getting him because I am in a phase? Yes!

Overhaul - Kai Chisaki

Trigger warnings for: emotional/psychological manipulation and abuse, kidnapping, coercion, character death, white/grey torture, mindbreak, objectification, neglect, human experimentation and yandere tendencies. 

Attributes - What sort of Yandere is he/she?

Overhaul is an absolutely strict yandere. That is more or less a given considering his overall personality. He is controlling to a fault because he just has to be. If he can’t rest assured that you’ll follow his every order to the letter, treat his every wish as a command. He has a certain vision in mind when it comes to you, a role that you must seamlessly fit into, and he won’t settle for anything less. Therefore, there are schedules that you have to adhere to, and rules that must be minded. While you might think that Chisaki’s word is law and that he would direct you as he pleases, the fact is, that he loves to play mental games with you. After all, don’t humans learn best through play?

He will want you to reach conclusions on your own. You are smart, so, over time you should realise that he only has your best intentions at heart. Besides how tiring it would be for him to spoon feed you all the lessons and pieces of wisdom he desires you to know, having to “obtain the knowledge yourself” has the side effect that you don’t fight him as viciously. In a way, he’ll tame you like a circus trainer does a dolphin. And once you know on which axis Overhaul’s little world spins, then he’ll fully expect you to adhere to the “laws of nature” that exist within. In some ways, it is what he does to keep Eri in line. 

On the same note, he is also prone to guilt tripping and gaslighting you when you step out of line. He does so much to take care of you after all - he keeps you healthy and safe and clean. Kai refrains from using his quirk on you in hurtful ways and doesn’t engage in physical abuse when it comes to you. If anything, you’re a pampered princess, so stop being so selfish and cause him to dirty his hands, okay? In short, he is absolutely manipulative. 

Of course tying into the two characteristics above is his obsession with cleanliness and health, that you’ll also be subjected to. He is the sort to nag and demonstrate to you how to properly wash your hands, how you should brush your teeth and other matters in that vein. In the beginning, you’ll be subjected to extensive physical and psychological evaluations so that he can tailor make the perfect diet plan and determine how to best deal with any health issues that you have. But besides that, it’ll also have the purpose of him gathering information on how far he can push you. 

Towards you, he is oh so condescending and patronising. Often, he'll point to your previous lifestyle as proof that you can't take care of yourself properly and need somebody smarter and more disciplined to help you. Additionally, in comparison to him, you just have meagre ambitions and don't utilise all your gifts to their full potential. While you might realise that the world and society is running on the wrong track, you still didn't comprehend just how deep the rot sits until he enlightened you. So just accept that he is your better. 

Possessive. Full stop. To Chisaki, you are an unrefined diamond when you fall into his talented hands, and it is his job to cut and shape you into a work of art. Since the end product is essentially his creation, only he has the right to possess you and decide what becomes of you. Ironically, the more you except this fact as a law of nature the more freedoms you'll have - once he is sure that you know your place, he can be confident that you'll reject anybody trying to "rescue" you. Until then, he'll keep you far away from anybody that could sully your mind and body. 

Besides, you are one of the very few things that put him at ease. All his life has been dedicated to the service of others, be it the Shie Haissakai or society in general, even if they don't wholly appreciate his efforts. You have been added to that number, but that doesn't mean that he is without selfish motives. Not that he feels guilty - after everything he has done, doesn't he deserve to indulge in his own wishes and desires? And if it is moulding a person to his wishes and keeping them as his, who is to begrudge him that? 

Unlucky for him, despite being possessive of you, to him you are not just some possession that he can put on a self and forget about. No, you have awaked feelings in him and he finds himself so deeply attached to you. He wants you to return his feelings, if only so that you get a taste of the suffering you've inflicted onto him. If he is becoming an emotionally controlled freak that yearns for your love and affection and approval, then you should take the fall with him. 

Nevertheless, it is contrasted by the part of him that is ruthless and cold. He has to be, to protect you and ensure you become the epitome of perfection. In a way, he has always been like that - unable to simply wear his heart on his sleeve, guarded and reserved and even stoic, except for the irritation that neigh constantly oozes off of him. As such, he won’t allow you to pull on his heartstrings much at all. Allowing you to so shamelessly manipulate him would also mean giving up control and he is having none of that. 

Cornering - How would they get you?

Either through coercion or kidnapping.

Perhaps you are a test subject that he picks up and develops feelings for overtime, a client or employee he discovers he wants to spend more time with or a person he meets through organic circumstances that he doesn't find as revolting as all the other people. While logically, he knows that the best course of action would be to woo you and then squirrel you away, he is a bit impatient when it comes to you. 

Besides, the best way to break old habits so that they can give way to new ones is to make a person go through a severe life changing event. On those grounds, Kai reasons that being a bit more forceful with will, in the end, bring about the positive outcomes he desires faster and more efficiently. 

In the case of you being an employee or a client, it makes matters so very easy. Just who will you go to, to prattle on about his misdeeds? The police? A hero agency? Darling, you are already in too deep to escape unscathed should you do something as foolhardy as that. Not to mention that he has his own eyes and ears in the places that matter, and when he catches wind of your traitorous behaviour, expect retribution. Though, he might even thank you for doing such a thing, since it would give him the perfect excuse to make you disappear from the public eye forever. Everybody that knows you would think that your body is at the bottom of some lake with weights around your feet, not in the basement of some yakuza head. 

In the case of you being a test subject that he snagged off the street or tricked into being one through a legitimately appearing medical programme, things would go relatively “smooth”. Smooth as in that Kai would slowly demonstrate his feelings to you. However, you would still be his captive during the whole process and he wouldn’t tell you that he has developed a soft spot for you (at least not outright) so the whole ordeal would be beyond nerve wrecking. 

And if you are some free soul that he meets by chance? There are still skeletons in your closet, shadows of your past haunting you and people and things you care about. All this can be used against you. While he might not be able to use all the resources he desires for that task, having to keep the limitations of the Hassakai in mind, Kai is nothing but innovative and opportunistic. He might very well shame you into jumping into his arms. 

Expectations - What do they expect of you?

nterestingly enough, I personally don’t see being quirkless as being a requirement to catching Overhaul’s eye. In his mind, Hero/Villain Syndrome is more a sickness of the mind, either having its root or being exacerbated by the quirk a particular person has. So, the first and foremost requirement would be to not have Hero/Villain Syndrome. There would be exceptions to this rule, when you would be deeply rooted in this “psychological issue” but he just sees such potential in you that he isn’t able to let you be. 

That would also be the main point for Chisaki - he sees who you could be, the utter health and perfection you could embody and will do anything to help you reach that. Your will only matters insofar as the path he must take to help you reach that end state, other than that, your quibbles and protests don’t matter. After all, he knows what is best. Your protests and fighting back would be annoying, so you would do best to let them be. If you wouldn’t then he would just have to train them out of you. 

If anything, what would really catch his eye would be if you are able to maintain a level head under pressure. In the case that he would kidnap you, you spitting vitriol and begging and screaming that he is a monster would only get on his nerves. However, you assessing the situation, and asking careful questions on what he could possibly need you for, and if he really had to have you stuffed in a car while walking home, would enrapture him. It is the actions that set you apart from the common footfolk that would draw him to you, like a moth to a flame. 

Being the head of the yakuza, and a very ambitious head at that, requires him to run through every possible scenario and consider everything that may factor into past, present and future. Operating on such a high mental level means he has little tolerance for stupidity in others, and if you don’t want to be treated like a dainty china doll with no will of their own, then you better be intelligent yourself. Of course, Chisaki knows that being smart doesn’t automatically mean that you’re right - if anything, it means that you are able to entrench yourself in and justify your delusions (your world view) all the more rabidly. However, he isn't the sort to shy away from debate; if anything, he revels in it. It is an opportunity to learn what makes you tick, to bond with you, and even to show you the light (his world view) 

What would make him believe he has struck gold would be if you understand his world view. He knows that his outlook is rather unique, especially since it is heavily coloured by his germophobia. Though to have somebody that can follow his thought patterns without making clumsy mistakes due to misconceptions or self-righteousness, somebody who he would discuss everything that is wrong with the world - that is balm to his soul. 

Looking at him, it is also pretty obvious that he requires you to be tidy and clean. He will not outright demand you scrub every surface with cleaning alcohol and shower three times a day. Though, your life will be significantly easier if you are tidy to begin with. Remember, that a happy Kai means a happy life, and there are a few things that irritate him more than disorder.  

If anything, it is highly likely that he'll fall for you if you work in one of those professions that place a lot of value on personal hygiene, like surgery or pharma or research. Besides the good hygiene, he would then expect to be able to connect with you based on shared interests. And that he won't have to teach you trivial things, like how to properly wash your hands, since you will just be able to fall back on the old patterns that you would know from work/university. 

What is also valued is patience. You see, Overhaul has more or less grown used to keeping people at least at arm's length. Even with Pops and Hari there is a sort of emotional distance, a serious tone that excludes overall warmth. Aside from what has been mentioned above, he is just so unaccostumed to thinking in modes and ways that don't pertain to utter ruthlessness and logic, that having to consider his own emotions and the ways they affect him would leave him floundering. Of course, he would do his best to conceal it, ever putting up a self-confident front. But there would still be moments where is awkward, or abruptly stands up and flees the scene. In order to gain more control over himself, he will try to dissociate from his emotions. But until he has regained his equilibrium, be forgiving of his mistakes, ok? 

Of course, there is also obedience. While in the beginning he'll be understanding because it is a frightening and absurd situation he has put you in, he'll expect you to learn fast. After all, he knows what is best for you and he doesn't deal well with resistance. He won't hesitate to list off all your flaws and past mistakes, pointing out your lifestyle errors in excruciating detail should you become snappy with him. If push really comes to shove and you don't even bend when punished, then he'll see no other option than to brainwash you. 

Tied in with the two aforementioned qualities is also sincerity. Like with many other things, Kai will be more understanding of fibs and lies in the beginning, since you are still new to each other and there are some matters that are embarrassing or stigmatised that you just don't want to be frank about in the beginning. Though as time passes, he'll expect you to learn to be utterly sincere. After all, he is a yakuza boss and lying and dishonesty are part and parcel to that line of work. And it is exactly because of that, that he outright demands sincerity from you. You are his and he is entitled to know all your secrets and everything that goes through your head. Additionally, how is he supposed to have complete control over you when you are concealing things from him? 

Faded - Would they let go of you in any way?

The short answer is no. The long answer has a few loopholes that you could slip through. 

Kai has many goals, ones that are also very important to him. No matter how much you either crave his attention or not, he won't abandon them because of you. Therefore, should one of his "projects" demand his utmost attention or be endangered due to the heroes closing in, he might temporarily let you go. But watch out! As soon as the dust settles, he'll retrieve you from wherever you thought you could hide from him. 

Other than that, he is far too attached to you to ever entertain that idea. 

Punishment - How would they proceed if you do something they disapprove of?

In the beginning, Overhaul is more understanding of your misgivings. He knows that he has put you in a stressful and strange situation, you are bound to be hysterical and not listen properly. Now, understanding doesn’t mean being lenient. For transgressions, you’ll be punished. At first, it’ll just be scoldings and him verbally tearing you apart, though if you persist, then they will become more extreme. Physical abuse is completely out of the question for him and he’ll never raise his voice in anger. The punishments you’ll be put through will be far more methodical. 

Like locking you in an all white room, depriving you of one of your senses temporarily (something that is very easy to achieve thanks to his quirk) or taking away forms of entertainment. If need be, he can leave you solitude for days with him observing how you slowly lose your mind over a system of cameras. He could deprive you of your hearing or eyesight, while leaving the nerve endings in the brain intact, leading to you having hallucinations.

 Or inject you with drugs that make it feel like ants are crawling under your skin. On the flip side of sensory deprivation, he would also happily inflict sensory overstimulation onto you should you step out of line. You should inhale or be injected with something that makes every light touch feel like sandpaper and every whisper like a booming shout. You’ll taste colours and smell emotions to the point where normal vertigo feels like a holiday in paradise. 

Though, those are just some of the more extreme punishments. Usually, you’ll get scolded, as mentioned above, or deprived of entertainment and privileges. One day after giving him the cold shoulder as much as possible, you’ll enter your room after a hot shower only to discover that all your books are gone. After refusing to eat, he’ll solemnly inform you that you’ll be strapped to a hospital bed and fed intravenously. 

If you behave like a brat, then he’ll also treat you as one. Really, classic old school punishments will be the closest he’ll ever come to being physically abusive - he’ll make you kneel on uncooked rice grains or frozen peas, having to look into a fire of spicy chills or standing in a corner while holding a book over your head until he says you can stop. 

Generally, punishments will be lighter in the beginning and the more time passes and the closer you two grow together, the harsher they’ll become. This is because what irritates Kai the most isn’t toeing out of line, but you “relapsing” or going against the rules when you already can recite them in your sleep. Though there is one exception to this - killing people in your name. He will kill somebody, a low level grunt that displeased him and is going to die anyway and then say you forced his hand. 

Reaction - How would they react to you escaping?

There are two options here.

The first is the following: Him leisurely walking after you, anticipating all your moves and finally managing to corner you, either physically or by threatening bystanders. That is because you didn’t really escape, and instead he is just playing cat and mouse with you. Because while all his guards and systems and the labyrinthine nature of the underground base will make it extremely difficult to escape, you’ll nevertheless look for an opening and fantasise about running away. What better way than to crush those dreams than by demonstrating that no matter how far you run, you’ll always end up back in his arms. So, he’ll provide you with an opening, let you escape so that he can retrieve you and shatter those hopes. Though, you’ll be punished for not proving your loyalty all the same. 

Then there is the second one of you really escaping without it somehow being intended by Kai. It is something that would drive him into a frenzy, but he would do his best to conceal it. Nevertheless, he would be far more irritable, prone to lashing out and overhauling his goons. As such, his men would do their best to fetch you. It wouldn’t be difficult for them to put two and two together and figure out that you put the Young Head at ease, so it is their best interest to return you to your owner as soon as possible. 

On that note, the saying “Happy wife, happy life” also applies to Kai Chisaki, so you might even have instances where people that hate Kai or even hate you slip you a note or plead with you face to face to just behave and not making everybody’s life in the Hassikai difficult by putting the Boss in a bad mood. In the interest of the Eight Precepts, Mimic and Chrono (they are the only other people that Kai lets closer to you than five metres), do so doubly, because they would tire quickly of playing messenger boys to the lower ranking members. 

Back on track. If you earnestly manage to escape then the base would be in a frenzy - reconstructing how you escaped and looking for clues on where you might have gone. Phone calls will be made and orders given as Kai pulls some strings to ensure you are back in his arms as soon as possible. After all, the further you run and the more people you wrap in your little escapade, the more complicated things get - he doesn’t want to have all his hard work undone. The Shie Hassaikai have bases in all major Japanese cities and ears and eyes where it counts. Should you be away longer, he’ll keep his ear on the ground, listening for the slightest hint as to where you’ve gone. 

And once he has you back in his vice grip, you have to pay. Perhaps somebody loses their life or you have to undergo some of the other more brutal punishments. But before that, you’ll be cleaned thoroughly. Overhaul won’t shy away from pumping your stomach empty if you have eaten unhealthy foods, and then washing your mouth with soap. In extreme cases, he might even just give you a penicillin shot without further ado and shave off all your hair. 

Turnabout - Scenario: You have the upper hand? What would be different from their usual MO? 

Let’s take two case situations - in one he doesn’t have his arms, and in the other, he has. 

As to armless Kai - he is numb due to his entire world having been torn down. He only has you know and god, is he desperate. Of course, in spite of what has happened, he still has his pride. Due to all he has done for you, he’ll demand you repay him. He’ll be erratic, especially if he just recently escaped Tartarus. With his mind in jumbles but still so desperate for human connection, he is putty in your hands. Though there are still some red lines. They took away his arms, not his tongue and he’ll do his best to remind you he can still give you a verbal lashing when you misbehave. 

In the case he has his arms, matters are a bit different. He’ll be more disgruntled and less needy. Maybe you are in charge due to you hiding him or maybe he needs money from you but can’t put you under his thumb in the process. He criticises every other thing you do, and does his best to worm his way into any cracks your shields may have. The more annoyed he is, the less subtle these attempts are. That being said, do be careful, for every moment that you are in control and he isn’t, is another moment where the natural order of your relationship has been upset. 

Vengeance - What would they do in the face of competition?

Hellfire and brimstone, or better said, his most gruesome abilities. You are his, you are his possession, his lover, his little pure doll that he wants to play with to his heart's content. As such, nobody but him is allowed to touch you. He is self-conscious to a degree - he isn’t the most social or personable man and his germophobia combined with his line of work and worldview can be off-putting to many. There are many people that you would get along with better, that would be nicer to you and give you what you want out of life.  

But what you want is not what you need, and you need him above all else. So he’ll have to teach you that you’re his and all the people around you that you are taken and not to be touched. If you have any romantic or, god forbid, bed mates, then he would make quick work of them. Of course, he doesn’t want you to be too traumatised, so if he doesn’t separate you by kidnapping or something similar, then he’ll cook up evidence and a story that will lead to a break-up. Then you would be vulnerable and available and ripe for the picking. However, if he is feeling particularly petty, then he’ll kidnap your lover right along with you, and subject them to a few rounds a torture before they become pig food. 

Should the man that arouses jealousy be one of his underlings, then somebody is in for a long night. It could be one of the guards becoming a little too chummy or a Precept that is just a little too cocky. Overhaul will be colder to everybody in his vicinity, even to you, since how dare you be so sweet and charming and perfect to somebody that isn’t him? Either way, the offender will be disassembled and reassembled a few times. 

Though because Chisaki is a possessive, manipulative freak when it comes to you, other people will also fall victim to his jealousy and wrath. Misunderstandings lead to lives being ruined when it comes to Kai Chisaki. The cause could be you being too friendly to a visitor, offering comfort to one of the guards or something in that vein. Regardless, it wouldn’t be enough to completely arouse his bloodlust, or maybe killing somebody that is still in the public eye would have repercussions that Kai doesn't want to deal with. Therefore, he’ll dig up all the sins they committed, ruin their reputations or set up events that lead to their social death. 

And if somebody dares hide you from him. There will be psychological torture is store for them, stuff worse than the stuff he’ll ever put you through. The filth that tried to keep you from him would also make for good test subjects, and will make you watch as he experiments on them. It would be all your fault, and all of this wouldn’t have to happen if you behave and obey him and accept your place at his side. 

Art is not mine: from Kohei Horikoshi, Irina Vinnik and other artists

#yandere bnha #yandere mha #yandere overhaul #yandere kai chisaki #yandere character sheet #x reader #yandere

[windvexer]

Hi there chicken 🤠

Yesterday the wind was slow and steady so I decided I'd attempt to stir it up. I noticed a slight change in the direction and strength of the gusts then I suddenly felt silly and discouraged. How can I know that it was me who affected the weather and not just coincidence or whatever?

P.S. I've had great success in summoning up storms in the past but it's been a long while since I've done weather witching so i thought I'd refresh my power with a simple wind raising.

Thanks 🤠🐓

Hi thank you for waiting so long.

I have so little actual experience with weather magic that I can't say.

Here is the beacon in my harbor, if it also helps you:

It doesn't matter if you did jack pancakes.

What matters is if you did the thing, and then change occurred. On a reliable basis to where you can do the thing to improve or effect your daily life on a predictable basis*.

You did the thing and the weather coincidentally changed 7 times in a row, totally explainable by natural phenomena? I do not care one whit the explanation. Do it an 8th time and get 8 predictable results, that is your answer.

Predictably, when you do the summoning storm, according to any various rules of your system, is a storm summoned? Yes?

Ohh by such coincidence such-and-such you only end up summoning storms under various exact conditions? I care not and neither do storms. Tell me a storm is inevitable without you. Prove a storm is inevitable without you.

(You cannot)

I often feel silly when I work magic. I feel 90% silly any time I work magic I am not 100% sure is guaranteed to work. Also, I like to feel at least 10-15% silly any time I work magic I think is guaranteed to work, as a buffer. A clown buffer. To make it easier to argue with the shitty voices in my head telling me my faith is a circus situation.

No coincidences, my friend. That is the wrong angle to attack the situation. Please, ponder: Why a storm? Does the farm pond need refilled? Municipality water supply low? Enemy to be flooded out? What does a storm matter without purpose? What is YOUR purpose?

Do the magic. Is your need filled? Yes? Then who cares.

Who cares. Who cares what did it.

You have a need and the magic fills it 70, 80, 90% of the time. Good. Do the magic. The need is filled better than average.

Does it not fill your need better than average? Then, don't discard the ritual if it brings you joy or satisfaction; but keep looking for various sorcerous solutions. Does the ritual not bring you joy or satisfaction? Set it aside and search for something new.

Keep in mind, dear friend, that sometimes a witch must discover new techniques to keep up with the same skills. A horrid process, but it happens to some of us. Perhaps this isn't the case for you; but don't be discouraged if it is.

(*"Predictable basis" doesn't mean doing the spell at any time under any conditions and finding success. I suspect, Anon [although there's no reason for me to know] that you get the concept that a certain spell works under certain conditions; when the wights are favorable, when the wind turns from some certain directions, or... variables, you know. Predictable basis means when you understand the set of rules under which a spell can manifest, and follow those rules.)

Do your storm magic. Does it fit your needs? Does it fit your joy? Who cares (positive). Who cares even if it doesn't. The storms like you regardless.

#anon very sorry for late reply #I have had a very busy couple weeks #you happened to inbox me while i was out of town #answered

[voidcommascreamintothe]

On how people think Nesta is the abuser in early acotar

Okay, so..

1) the series was never supposed to be more that three books, therefore all secondary characters are bland and not developed that well, or at all.

2) Nesta’s and Elain’s primary- dare I say, only, narrative purpose in the first book was to get us, the audience on board with Feyre’s decision to stay in the Spring Court fairly early in the story. Ugly (step)sisters as narrative shorthand for “main girl’s life is awful so she needs to skedaddle very quickly”.

Now that we have that out of the way, Nesta in book one is so very different than the Nesta in the other books. I remember reading these books (the first time round) and getting whiplash at how different the characterization was for both sisters really.

I am aware that a lot of people are very passionate about their defense of Feyre, but I beg you, down on my knees with my hands clasped in a prayer, i beg you to realize that these were children and teenagers we are talking about. Children and teenagers that were never taught how to love. Nesta was never taught how to be nice, only how to seduce a rich husband, with perfectionism beaten into her. It very clearly states, in book four, that Nesta is all claws and sharp edges because she was forced to be that. And so when the time came to reign in that spitefulness, she realized it became a permanent feature of herself.

I do not think people realize just how difficult it is to learn how to show and accept love, even more so when you have to teach yourself in adulthood because you are trying to better yourself. Well I do.

This might count as insider trading: I am privy to this perspective because i have lived through something similar, but somewhere along the way, you do it because you need to forgive yourself and because it is the right thing to do; not to seek validation/forgiveness from others. Truly healing means accepting that you cannot change the past, and that you cannot make others accept your apology. But you apologize because it’s the right thing to do.

The beauty of Nesta’s book, is that you, dear audience member and beloved reader, do not have to forgive Nesta, she does not want it. The character you are defending already forgave her, so you become slightly less relevant in their story.

Tangentially related, but Feyre tried to reach out to Nesta multiple times in order to make amends, and only gave up when Rhys stepped in.. Foreshadowing is a narrative technique-

Insisting that a child can be abusive, insisting that CHILD Nesta was abusing Feyre is a dangerous line of thinking.

Child neglect and abuse is a heavy topic, and I don’t think I am educated enough to speak on it. All I will say is that assuming that every older child that grew up in a neglectful home in inherently abusive/neglectful themselves is an abhorrent thought to have. Being mean and outwardly cruel to people you love because you don’t know how to love them is not abuse, it is a cry for help.

In this scenario, we are talking about Nesta’s INACTION and lack of contribution. That is not abuse. It is of grave importance that people realize this. Nesta was groomed to be one thing and one thing only, a perfect wife. She was never taught how to love and care for her sisters, and had to learn this in adulthood, much like how Feyre had to do the same.

However Feyre was given grace, given support and understanding, given enough space to learn how to love freely and how to be loved.

The entire second book is about this. Do you people not read?

Nesta on the other hand, is ever only given this kind of treatment in book four, by Gwyn and Emerie: two characters that are removed from the Inner Circus and Rhysand. It is only when Rhysand suggests, and subsequently steamrolls over Feyre’s hesitations, that Nesta is removed from Feyre’s space, and Feyre herself stops reaching out. Only because Rhys mettles.

Like I stated above, foreshadowing is a narati-

Like many of you, Rhysand loves Feyre, and goes to extreme lengths to protect her and keep her safe. However, he is extremely biased against Nesta, pouring all of his anger at how mistreated Feyre was onto Nesta. Nesta bears the brunt of his terribly misguided attempt to protect Feyre, and Elain is left on the sidelines, just like she was when she tried to take accountability for her own failure during the Archeron’s poverty era. And yet, Rhysand ignores this.

Elain is viewed as the innocent child that is incapable of coherent thought. Elain is much softer in appearance therefore is considered to be almost incapable of carrying blame. Somehow, most likely because Nesta does not conform nor does she assimilate into Fae life the way Elain does, Elain is perceived to be the “good one”. Make no mistake, Rhysand keeps Elain around to use her against Nesta- the scrying incident in Silver Flames; he does not really respect her. Otherwise he would have held her just as responsible as Nesta. Instead, he and the others, treat Elain like a dimwit and Nesta as the pariah.

All of this, this being Rhysand being kind of a shitty dude, all of it would have been fine, were it not for the fact that Rhysie is consistently justified by the narrative. He is clearly the favourite character if the author and is always positioned to be the Moral Compass of the story, and therefore always positioned to be the one who is in the right. All of Rgysand’s moves and decisions are made out to be the decision, the only correct ones, the ones that the audience is supposed to have/share/approve of,

The fact that us girlies are having a tussle over a lot of the female characters simply because on how the narrative favors a male character, and how that male character keeps meddling in women’s affairs, is honestly some kind of profound irony.

The author’s inability to let go of her favoritism of said male character is boiling my piss and curdling my menstrual blood.

Bonsoir.

Ps.

Being mean and outwardly cruel to people you love because you don’t know how to love them is not abuse, it is a cry for help.

#nesta archeron #pro acosf #acotar #nesta acotar #cassian acotar #nessian #acosf #feyre archeron #elain archeron #acomaf #rhysand #not really anti rhys #sjm books #sjm #sjm critical #rhysand critical #this fandom needs lessons in media literacy #how can people not see the big picture #these are some of my fave books too fucken bad they are not that good

[connectionterminated13]

Connection established welcome!

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Hello my name is connection terminated13! I am a 15 year old Canadian learning artist. I use she/they

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I am big fan of the stupid bear game (fnaf).I do like other things though like little nightmares, Adventure time, John dies at the end. But it's mostly just fnaf!

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Also please remember I have dyslexia and use speech to type! I often make spelling errors so if you see one just tell me:3

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DNI list: Proship, Terfs, Pedophiles/Zoophiles, Bigotry of any kind, No extreme NSFW (I mostly mean purposely sexual stuff)

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Fnaf AU's!!!

#fnaf Inferno au

Basically my version of the events depicted in the stupid bear game :)

#fnaf Death swap

Almost all of the deaths are swapped in the main series. Charlie lives Sammy dies, Charlie's friends are the Mci, Michael dies to baby instead of Elizabeth.

The plot mostly follows a much older Elizabeth Who is soon to turn 22, Lives in a small apartment with her girlfriend Susie and plays in a punk band that she created called "Baby and the circus freaks". One night she gets a call from her father that Michael is still here, at circus babies entertainment in rentals and it's Elizabeth strobbed to put him back together...

# Fractured Memories

Evan survives the bite But understand that he is supposed to die. He also knows that his family all die and become horrible monsters. At tonight he can see the monsters his family becomes. As for the family they're dealing with the physical afflictions of death's not yet to come. All Evan can do is sit back and watch as his memory and reality fractures further

#cub au

Cassie is phone dude's daughter, phone dude dies in FNAF 3 and having no one else to take care of her Michael decides to adopt her.

It's mostly just Michael being a really good dad and Cassie being a cute little kid

#Red Sunrise

the only thing I actually written for:

The premise is Elizabeth dying in the fnaf6 Fire then diving back into the living play after tricking old man consequences

As of writing there's only 2 chapters I'm working on the third but you know life...

#fnaf Rewrite

A rewrite of the twisted ones but mostly the fourth closet novels. Getting rid of the gross stuff and generally trying to improve the story!

#Gears and rot au

William made some robot versions of his dead daughter and son then realized how fucking weird that was and shut them down in the murder clown basement. Years later Michael goes down and does a sister location. The robot version of Evan is able to save him before he becomes a skin suit but Mikey still "dies" from internal bleeding

It's now Michael's job to take care of the little robot even though it is creepy and weird...

#Victorian AU

I can't believe I haven't added this one yet! Should probably summarize it

It's kind of like 5 nights at Freddy's but Victorian... There's some twists added in.. You're just gonna have to go and find out!!!!!

I have like 6 au that I never really did anything with... You can find them if you want...

Cassie in the dark

It's not just a normal AU it's an ask blog!!!

@cassie-in-the-dark

General goofiness

Upcoming???

Extremely silly :3

÷=@%&=@@^&=+#&&$×!_&&£

And here's some of my arts!!

#master post #connectionterminated13 thought #Suck at taking things LOL #cub au

[merklins]

BEHOLD! THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!

Various hlvrv characters as ponys (: A full list does indeed exist, BUT! These are the silly guys I've drawn for you today. Under the cut, as I! Have now gone into WAY more detail than I thought I would haha.

Player- A Pegasus, inspired by the European Turtle Dove and Komorner Tumbler Pigeon! (He is not pictured here BUT. I also have a Saxon Fairy Swallow assignment set aside for Power Trip) I'd probably give him more armor in the future for the HEV suit, BUT! Little leg guards is what he's got for now. And also a little band on one leg like you see on pigeons for tracking and scientific purposes. Because SCIENCE and BLACK MESA! And honestly I thought it'd just look cool for him to have the little lambda band on his leg after all's over with and he isn't carrying around an entire HEV suit anymore. The other front leg is where he would put anything else, like friendship bracelets or "hey hold onto this for a minute" or what have you.

Doc- A Pegasus, BUT BETTER! After an accident in the Green Department of the rainbow factory, he now glows... GREEN! Surprising! And also she has various bat pony traits Which she now uses her epic and cool inventions to help with. Like the robot arms! He's inspired by a Rufous hummingbird, mostly. Actual flight is finicky because of the hummingbird and bat pony wing combination, BUT! They can indeed hover and zip a little! As they deserve. (This drawing was done before I picked hummingbird specifcially, but now she's got much tinier wings like a hummingbird, that are feathery at the base but extend out into more bat-like wings!)

Loverboy- As Gordon B he would be an Earth Pony, BUT! There's this wonderful wonderful Generation 3 episode where- [I am sent to the abyss for referencing this single episode for the third time on blog] WHERE THE EARTH PONYS GET HUGE MAGIC GIANT BUTTERFLY WINGS THAT LOOK SO AWESOME AND COOL. Loverboy is that (:

(THE EPISODE IS CALLED TWO FOR THE SKY)

Sleepless- A Griffon! Violet-Backed Starling is the main inspiration, but I DID take a little bit from the White-Breasted Ground Dove as well. The other half that isn't a bird I used a Clouded Leopard because. cloud... fog... the purple stuff... it was a REACH, but it looks cool so I win either way. I didn't draw it in this one, but I imagine his regular sleeping mask is a little more like a cowl you'd see in Falconing. One of the masks that slide on and cover the entire upper face. Also I know Griffons are basically pony sized, but also I write the canon here and Sleepless gets to be taller than ponies by a large margin. Just for fun, a little treat for me.

Valentine- A Unicorn! But as opposed to other unicorns I have slotted in the hlvrv roster, they take a lot of inspiration from that classic unicorn look. You know the one, probably. A lot of MLP redesigns change the unicorns to look like it and its SO cool. But Spork and Valentine are the only ones I really did that with this time around, other then a couple guys who got the little unicorn beard. You also probably know the one. I think I stole their cutie mark from somewhere by mistake, so apologies for that, BUT!! In other news, Valentine and the Love Letters all very VERY specifically have the little heart-shaped hoof thing going on. For the Aesthetic, y'know?

CLOWN NEO FUNNY GUY CLOWN NEO!! Neo himself is an Earth Pony, BUT! In Nightmare Circus? He has all that cool dressage that carousel horses and circus ponies wear SUCH AS! One of those cool decorative head pieces that are meant to make them look like a unicorn. EXCEPT. Because this is a dream and you can do whatever you want, It ACTUALLY works as a functional magic horn and he can pull all KINDS of magic tricks and shenanigans with it!

AAAAAND PING FOR FRIEND WHO RAMBLED WITH ME FOR HOURS ON THE MATTER TO HELP ME ASSIGN THEM ALL! YES, ALL OF THEM! @bbeeohazardd

#m scribbles #hlvrv #hlvrv roster

[lord-squiggletits]

OH, I am so interested in your idea for SG Tarnma.

Okay so my exact ideas for SG Tarnma vary a lot, because I think there's two different canon varieties of Shattered Glass: the original Fun Publications SG where everything was completely flipped and turned into crack-canon, and then what IDW later did with Shattered Glass IDW1 where it was more or less just role reversal IDW1 with only some "complete flipping" of lore and personality. There's also my own personal Shattered Glass universe that I built for Pay Unto Evil, so I could also answer this question as "what would Tarnma be in the SG PUE universe."

That being said I'll do my best to explain all of the different ideas I've had for SG Tarnma. All of them are pretty different so I'm not really particularly attached to any one, but here goes

Version 1: FunPub complete role reversal style. Pharma was originally a mere energon farmer get it lol and has a very meek, shy, unconfident personality. He got enlisted by the Autobots, but he spoke too quietly when they asked for his name (Farmer), so they started calling him Pharma. Then at some point Ratchet is like "yo I'm gonna make this completely untrained guy do medical operations. No I'm not gonna send him to medical school he can learn on the job!" And so Pharma becomes Ratchet's apprentice and develops even more anxiety from the hundreds of times he murders patients either on accident bc he literally has no medical training, or on purpose bc Ratchet made him. He's literally just trying his best and doesn't even want to be here. Meanwhile, the SG DJD is known as the Decepticon Jokester Division, formed as a sort of circus troupe meant to bring good cheer to the Decepticons in a time of depressing war. The members of the DJD are codenamed after the first cities they toured right before/when the war started. How reluctant medic Pharma and literal clown Tarn meet in this universe is anyone's guess.

Version 2: IDW style. Tarn and Pharma still have basically the same backstories as canon IDW1 except that Pharma is a professional assassin instead of a doctor (yknow, role reversal where Pharma is an expert at killing people instead of healing them). Also this universe's Pharma has the posh and aristocratic personality fandom thinks he has in canon lol. Maybe Pharma finds out about Tarn having a secret t-cog addiction, and he starts bringing t-cogs to Tarn in exchange for Tarn providing him intel (or some other service, idk). Maybe in this universe instead of Tarn torturing Pharma into insanity, Pharma somehow develops guilt for killing people because of Tarn, then defects from the Autobots willingly? Or they kick him out like in canon

Version 3: Pay Unto Evil SG. Tarn and Pharma would have their FunPub style backgrounds (though maybe Tarn's would be slightly more serious) with the added caveat of Pharma having the evil Matrix's mind control embedded in his brain. He still didn't join the Autobots willingly and wasn't even trained to be a doctor. Somehow he and Tarn meet and fall in love across faction lines because Tarn sees how much Pharma is suffering under mind slavery and feeling like he doesn't belong among his cruel comrades. It's a bit of a tragic one though, as Pharma warns Tarn that the Prime can look through his mind at any time thanks to the Matrix. If he finds out that Pharma is Tarn's vulnerability, he could use that against him somehow, or worse, mind control Pharma into trying to kill Tarn himself. They were both devastated when the universe swap happened and they thought they would never see each other again. Though Pharma secretly felt some relief that Tarn was now a universe away and can find someone else to love who isn't a mind-controlled walking time bomb that could try to murder him at any moment.

#squiggle answers #shattered glass #tarnma #these are really rough and most of them i havent even written down or explained to anyone before so #hope any of these strike your fancy. if they do you can ask me more and i'll try to come up with more lore #also to clarify the way the matrix mind control works in PUE's universe is that SG OP is hooked in #at all times. but most of the time he lets his soldiers be or at least only exerts passive mental/emotional control #individual autobots still have personalities they just have little pieces of Primus in their brains watching at all times #hence why sg pue pharma is able to be in a secret relationship with tarn. bc he's forgettable and unimportant #but if sg OP took notice he could definitely reach out #and just mind control pharma to be unthinking and unfeeling and try to kill tarn

[batfamhyperfixation]

Thing I Like Explored In Fanon While the Batkids Are Growing up (Even if they're not all in canon)

Dick grew up at a circus -> Taught his only purpose is to entertain and make others happy (Sarah Lynn style), so he feels an obligation to take up the mantra of Robin and keep it up even when he doesn't want to, and just him having to overcome this idea of what he is supposed to be and overcome this self sacrifice for his own happiness

If you don't know who Sarah Lynn is, here are some scenes of hers and some videos:

Jason grew up on the streets of a crimeridden city and now has justice system trauma because of that (bro would be a major BLM supporter and fight for those in poverty). He has this stance of "it's not GCPD's city, they don't do shit for the people; it's not the villains' city, they don't protect it's citizens; it's not Bruce Wayne's city, he doesn't live here with us, he doesn't know what it's really like out here; it's my city, I'm the one out here living in the streets with other people who were cast out and broken by these forces, I'm the one they can truly rely on, so I need to take my job seriously" and the reason he first agrees to become Bruce Wayne's ward despite his biases is because he knows he can more easily provide for others that way, either through getting better weapons to fight for them, or utilizing his access to education to learn and then teach those who don't have access (and that is why he is so big on reading the books he now has access to with the library), or to steal and filter Bruce's money back out into the streets.

Tim being scared of injuries due to his dad's paralysis, Bruce's broken back while he was Robin, and Jason literally dying not long before Tim took his role. Where most of the kids don't bother to look before they leap, Tim always has these incidents in the back of his mind, so he hesitates a lot more than the others. He is the one who thinks things through because he knows he can't afford to be risky, he can't afford to hurt himself. He won't let that happen to him, and he won't let an injury hurt the people around him either. He saw first hand what Jason dying did to Bruce, and he won't make anyone else turn out like that because he dies.

Also, Tim feels guilty being too close to Bruce. His dad, after waking from his coma, was jealous of Bruce and Tim's father-son relationship, and now Tim always feels like he is betraying his dad by being too close to Bruce. Now Tim has to try to be close to Bruce without the constant guilt that comes with it.

Damian grew up with villians and was taught violence is his nature, that is what he was made and taught to do. Now he is with Bruce and the batfam, and is dealing with the struggle between 'it doesn't have to be this way, violence is not what I have to do, I can love.' and the 'This is the only thing I was taught to do, there is nothing else for me,' and he is just internally struggling with who am I supposed to be and he realizes he is focusing so much on what his mother would want and what Bruce would want, that he doesn't even know what he wants, let alone who he is so he has to find himself along the way

This is getting long so if I finish it with the rest of the Batkids (Duke, Steph, and Cass) I'll add a part 2 link to here

#batkids #batfam #bat family #jason todd #damian wayne #dick grayson #tim drake #batfam hc #batfam headcanons #batfamily #fanon

[pinkandpurple360]

i really hate blitzo and he's backstory is not done properly to make me sympathsize with him. Rewatching helluva boss it kinda make me feel a little bit sympathetic having someone like stolas who coerce you to have tools that can get you to other world and having abusive daughter using you as a punching bag

so here's the backstory of blitzo

he's father consider him unworthy of affection because he didn't make money, so he only give he's attention to barbie and fizzarolli. Fizzarolli join the circus he's not adopted by buckzoo but often he compare blitzo to him. There's a few time he being nice, blitzo always try he best being useful and when he being useful that when he receive the affection

You really hate Blitzø? Can’t relate.

It’s pretty bad that Stolas has had musical numbers and whole episodes to his super duper sad arranged marriage past — he took the season 2 premiere to himself for crying out loud (get it lol)

He has had more sole focus and development on him than the main character.

The Circus

- we are meant to feel sorry for the owl boy surrounded by luxuries and servants and a purpose granted for him in life on a platter because he has to get married

- we are meant to see him desire another child (what else am I supposed to call this) at his performance and root for him to obtain that child because no one gets him like he does…and his amputation joke

- I’m supposed to hate a child performer for making a balloon horse better than the kid Stolas desires - even though he won’t get to eat food that day if the show doesn’t go well

- I see this child be sold for pittance, trafficked, and I’m supposed to laugh at how worthless he is as an employee, even if he’s 8 years old at most. Not sympathise? Weird.

- B becomes this dudes friend out of force and later guilt and sleeps with him out of force and guilt

- Stolas runs around with Blitzø and pretends he has never seen his own home, belongings, and chandelier before (lol?)

As for Seeing Stars, I guess we’re supposed to see Stolas’ malicious abuse of others for no reason other than he’s upset, as funny or a quirk, and peoples abuse of blitzø as funny and deserved even when he’s being extremely reasonable and patient , even loving . Funny that. I think the show shared your sentiment

#helluva boss critical

[babeyterra]

i’m back from my grave…. TERRA X TPD?

(lyrics i think relate to terra markov)

who’s afraid of little old me?

“who’s afraid of little old me? well you should be ‘cause you lured me. and you hurt me. and you taught me.”

“i was tame, i was gentle ‘till the circus life made me mean. don’t you worry folks, we took out all her teeth. who’s afraid of little old me?”

“i wanna snarl and show you how disturbed this has made me. you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.”

“you caged me then called me crazy. i am what i am cause you trained me.”

the smallest man who ever lived

“you deserve prison but you won’t get time. you’ll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars.”

“were you sent by someone who wanted me dead? did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed? were you writing a book? were you a sleeper-cell spy?”

“i would’ve died for your sins instead i just died inside.”

“you hung me on your wall. stabbed me with your push-pins. in public showed me off, then sank in stoned oblivion.”

“in 50 years will all this be declassified and you’ll confess why you did it? and i’ll say good riddance cause it wasn’t sexy once it wasn’t forbidden.”

“you said normal girls were boring but you were gone by the morning.”

“in plain sight you hid. but you are what you did. and i’ll forgive you, but i’ll never forgive. the smallest man who ever lived.”

so long, london

“my friends said it isn’t right to be scared everyday of a love affair. every breath feels like rarest air.”

“i’m just getting colour back into my face, i’m just made as hell cause i loved this place for so so long.”

“so how much sad did you think i had, did you think i had in me? how much tragedy? just how low did you think i’d go? before i’d self implode? before i’d have to go free?

“i’m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free.”

i look in peoples windows

“i had died the tiniest death, i spied the catch of your breath.”

“i look in peoples windows in case you’re at their table. what if your eyes looked up and met mine. one more time.”

“i tried searching faces on streets. what are the chances you’d be downtown. does it feel alright to not know me? i’m addicted to the if only.”

florida!!!

“a hurricane with my name when it came.”

“little did you know your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in.”

“this city reeks of driving myself crazy.”

“i need to forget so take me to florida. i’ve got some regrets, i’ll bury them in florida. tell me i’m despicable, say it’s unforgivable.”

“your homes really the only town you’ll get arrested in. so pack your life away, just wait out the shitstorm back in texas.”

down bad

“did you really beam me up? in a cloud of sparkling dust, just to do experiments on. tell me i was the chosen one, show me the world was bigger then us. then sent me back where i came from.”

i hate it here

“i’m lonely but i’m good. i’m bitter but i swear i’m fine.”

“i’ll save all my romanticism for my inner life and i’ll get lost on purpose. this place made me feel so worthless.”

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus

“if you wanna break my cold, cold heart. just say i loved you the way that you were. if wanna tear my world apart, just say you’ve always wondered.”

“i changed into goddesses, villians and fools. changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules. all to outrun my desertion of you. and you just watched it happen.”

“i crashed into you, like so many wrecks do. too impaired by my youth to know what to do.”

the albatross

“locked me up in towers. but i’d visit in your dreams. and they tried to warn you about me.”

#teen titans #terra #tara markov #terra markov #taylor swift #tpd #ttpd #the tortured poets department #babeyterrasmusic #terra songs #lyrics #waolom #tsmwel #florida!!! #the albatross #i hate it here #so long london #down bad #cososom

[dearweirdme]

I actually think a lot of Taekookers believe it was him in the video, all of the accounts I follow do. Not long after the video went public there was a Twitter space meeting of Taekookers, and some big accounts hosting it and everyone believed it was him and discussed the whole circus starting from that point. No one was using that to drag him, but I've seen so many people try to argue the other side act like it's insulting to him to even suggest he would participate. Well if someone thinks that, that's their problem to work through. If him participating is a show of bad character to you, YOU work through why you think that. Because I don't, and none of the people I know who believe it was him in the video think that. It's a media play. It's a business deal. There is some pretty compelling evidence the companies already had a plan worked up for this particular fake couple years ago. The Paris walk was actually pulled off brilliantly, and then the whole thing got really weird from there and now we know just sort of fizzled out with some "insider" leaking break-up news with Jennie re-signed and Tae enlisting. But if the purpose was to get people talking (they stirred the pot whenever there was some other big news), and to closet Tae it did its job. The walk was also really the extent of Tae's involvement and he seemed uninterested in giving anything more than the bare minimum needed. Taekook_lives who has been mentioned in the comments on posts about this today released a video not long after the Paris video "debunking" it, but she jumped on the "cosplayer" who tried to claim the whole thing immediately. That "cosplayer" was Akio. They run an Instagram account that is still spreading rumors about Tae. I didn't understand why Taekookers were rushing to hype that account up because I looked at it back in May and they were saying they had been hired to film that video to make Tae's other Parisian ex-girlfriend jealous. It was obvious bs. Taekook_lives is an au writer and has almost every sensible Taekooker on Twitter blocked, she's been around for years and there is plenty of misinformation in her videos. If it wasn't clear, I believe it's Tae in that video. I'll allow for the possibility it was filmed some other time, but his manager is wearing the same clothing he was at the airport when they departed from SK. I believe the Elle magazine was the March issue so it would have had to be sometime between March and May, which is funny because of that Taennope account who tweeted in March that a May Paris date was confirmed. Tae is obviously not happy about anything going on there. The walk next to the river is painfully awkward, very robotic from him. He's not even looking at her. It was obviously a set-up. So they only got blurry video of them together, and I noticed Jennie was actually pretty careful and turning her face away from the cam. Then the only HD pictures we get are of them walking separately with their managers wearing the exact same clothing. It's brilliant, and almost every het K-pop shipper uses the same trick. Maybe they learned a little something from them. Anyway I am glad it's over, and I hope Tae knows that he's got so many supporters who love him and are by his side in all this.

Hi anon!

Yeah, I agree. To me it’s logical that it’s Tae.. celebs and their companies just don’t hire stand-ins for these things. It looks like Tae and Jennie to me.. posture, body language, everything. They had opportunity (timing wise). And they had a clear goal. So I’m really not doubting it.

Taekook-lives and all other accounts (including mine) are all fan accounts. We all deal with the same images and info we just all might differ in interpretation. I never go blindly on any account ‘s opinion, because when watching analysis vids I often come across things I personally disagree with. So when someone says to me “this account says that” or ‘twitter says this” I take that with me, but I still make my own judgements. I might be wrong at times, others might be wrong at times, we all can be right at times.. but there’s no-one out there who probably got it all right.

#fandom shenanigans #taennope

[howtofightwrite]

A follow up question to my "how to fight beasts" question. I am aware that hunting is quite different to fighting. I should have been more specific but I meant to ask about fighting beast in a hand-to-hand combat type scenario. An example being gladiators of the Roman Colosseum being forced to fight beasts like lions, tigers, and bears in an arena with conventional weapons like swords and spears. What is the gameplan?

In the real world, the game plan was, “don't do that.”

Something we've mentioned in the past was the way the Roman gladiatorial combat focused on fixed loadouts. However, there were specific non-gladiator, “support,” positions. One of these was the Venator.

Venatores were hunters, (this was also the name of a support role in the legion tasked with hunting animals for meat.) Their role in the arena was to stage hunts against wild animals. They would be armed with a selection of bows, spears, and javelins. They would then be sent out to slaughter the animals released into the arena.

It's important to understand, this was a completely different kind of presentation from the gladiatorial combat. Venatores were used as an exercise of imperial authority. They weren't put into the arena to, “fight,” animals, they were put into the arena to hunt and kill them.

In fact, the Venatores were so, “safe,” that multiple Emperors participated in their shows. This is how much of a non-threat the animals were; Emperors who wanted to be seen as skilled hunters, could use this as a safe way to publicly present themselves.

In some ways, the most analogous comparison would be to view the venatores as a circus act (without regard for animal cruelty.) (Venatores literally were circus performers, but the modern meaning is slightly different.)

On the other end of the spectrum was damnatio ad bestias. This was the only other group that, “fought,” animals in the arena, and, as the name suggests, it was a method of execution. You weren't expected to win a fist fight with a lion, and frankly, your odds when squaring up against any big cat while unarmed aren't particularly good. To make matters worse, the condemned were restrained or otherwise prevented from fighting back effectively. This was an execution, not a fight.

You skipped over it on your animal list, but wolves enjoyed a special deference in the arena. The arenas would take steps to avoid harming wolves whenever possible, due to their symbolic importance to Roman culture. At the same time, the arenas drove multiple species, including some varieties of lions and tigers to the brink of extinction. I don't think I've ever seen boars mentioned in the arena, though that could just be an oversight. Similarly, another notable omission from your list was the auroch, they're extinct today, but they were hunted in venatores performances. (The last living auroch was poached sometime in the 17thcentury, so in this case, the extinction was unrelated.)

Now, there's a legitimate question of whether this matters. This how the real arenas worked, but how is this relevant for you?

The answer there is to look at the intent of the arena, and skim over the economics.

The arena was an extension of the state. As much as the purpose was to provide entertainment to the lower class citizens, it was also a demonstration of imperial power. Within that context, having these highly trained fighters getting picked off by wild animals would have been, “ideologically catastrophic.” There already was a theme with gladiators, where the various types were representative of foes that Rome had conquered, but, the gladiators were still Roman fighters, and seeing them getting torn to pieces by hyenas would not have been a good look for The Empire.

It would been an expensive proposition. Training and maintaining a gladiator was not cheap. These were very expensive entertainers. This is part of why the gladiatorial combat to the death was extremely rare. A modern analogy would be to view gladiators a bit like professional wrestlers, including the part where successful gladiators were minor celebrities in their day. In the vast majority of situations, killing off a gladiator didn't make financial sense, and as a result, they were rarely, intentionally, killed in the arena.

Now, capturing, transporting, and storing wild animals was expensive, however for the arenas that was an expendable cost. One lion was about as much of a crowd pleaser as any other. This meant that there was no incentive to protect the animals (excluding in the specific case of wolves, mentioned earlier.)

So, there was no incentive to screw around. You wouldn't pair gladiators against animals, because if the gladiator was injured or killed, that was a significant financial loss, and would reflect poorly on The Empire. (You also couldn't match gladiators against animals on the technicality that, “gladiators,” specifically fought other gladiators. Again, that was the domain of the venatores.)

The Venatores didn't, 'fight,' animals, they slaughtered them.

When someone was put to death by animals in the arena, they weren't allowed to fight back. Again, think how weak it would make The Empire appear, if the condemned fought back successfully at their execution.

So, in the larger context of, “how would you fight an animal,” you wouldn't. Hunting, even by the venatores, is a radically different activity from fighting. You're not going to fight an animal, you're looking to kill them. So, while there is some similarity to efficient approaches to combat, none of that applies in the arena.

While the idea of dropping a pack of wild animals into the middle of an arena bout fits in some kind of romantic idea, it doesn't make a lot of sense on any level. Even on the subject of sheer spectacle, it's going to clutter the arena with visual noise that makes the main event, the fight between the gladiators, harder to follow.

Also, that last bit about damnatio ad bestiasis something to keep in mind about the use of gladiatorial combat to pick off characters. It creates a situation where your protagonists can (potentially, and if we're being honest with ourselves, probably will) seriously undermine the power of the state running the arena. If the goal was to kill them off, then letting them successfully fight back seriously undermines the illusion of power that the state possessed. (Even letting them resist at all is mildly damaging to that image.) It's a dramatic scenario, but it's actively detrimental to creating a powerful, oppressive nation. Even throwing someone into the arena against their will is pretty questionable if you step back and think about it, because you're basically saying, “I condemn you to a life as a sports star. Now fight this angry cat.”

-Starke

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#Starke answers #How to Fight Write #Writing advice #writing reference #writing tips #gladiators #history

[voyeur-clairvoyant]

It's already 1 am in Mexico so as the perfectly healthy person I am, I decided to check #Tarot in TikTok because why not! It's not like I need to sleep or something like that. I took some notes from many videos and I want to share some thoughts:

The sanitization of fortune telling.

How in the sweet hell is so common to find the WILD statement of «Tarot cards are not for divination». Excuse me?? Are we talking about the same fucking deck of cards that has been used in cartomancy for at least 4 centuries?? Are you being fucking serious?? Hahaha.

The Tarot community is divided between pseudo-psychology and witchy-witchy-stuff and believe me, even when the witchcraft side and I are not in the best terms always there is something deeply wrong (and deeply stupid HAHA) happening with the people that think that a tarot deck is more-or-less a psychology degree you can buy in almost any library and fit in your pocket.

Not only these bitches dare to appropiate tarot cards, they dare to appropiate psychology and spirituality concepts AND THEN kick out fucking fortune telling because it doesn't fit within their «Law of atraction, healing your soul, evolutive psychology» strict white clean ''professional'' circus.

Fortune telling is vulgar and common. It speaks of love and loss, family members, friends, enemies, success and tragedy. And oh boy, fortune telling is nasty and they know it. It's made from the same awkward magic that turns bread and wine into flesh and blood and the same shitty vibe of the street magician that asks you to choose a card for a trick. Do they think (speaking after and before the New Age) in their sanitized heads that they are ''saving'' their Bible 2 from the gross hands of the common fortune telling tradition? That they're saving it by appropiating it as part of a High-Magic/Therapy context?

(Is different to use it as a tool in X practice than claiming it to be ONLY for X practice).

Tarot cards need to be clean and palatable apparently. We can't talk about loss because Death is not death. We can't talk about supidity because the Fool is not foolishness. Cups are not cups and swords are not swords because cups are water and swords are air and so on. Everyone knows that the REAL deal behind tarot cards is to contact with your subconcious for guide and therapy and obvioulsy the deck came from Egypt and it has mystical codes and secrets inside.

We have been SOOOO blind all this time using them for our foolish divination purposes! But hey! They are here to teach us how to use it ''the right way''. (SARCASM).

«Tarot cards are not for divination». Be welcome to the house but don't you dare to kick out the fucking host.

(Btw I know that not ALL the people that do this kind of readings have this mindset and that's ok. I mean, is their practice, not mine. However the spreading of pseudo-psychology techniques is triple harmful for psychology, fortune telling & magic practices and the people that seek for help in them).

Superficial tips & Random conspiracies

This one is more superficial than the one before hahaha but is still something that I find kinda weird and slightly dumb and they are the tips that are offered to bond with your cards that are just stuff like "sleep with your deck" or "pass card by card above a candle", "focus in the clothes and the number of letters in the names".

Like, do you know that without studying all of that is useless, right? HAHAHAHA. It doesn't matter how much you sleep with your deck. Come on! You can eat it if you want haha, none of those things are gonna help you if you don't do any level of invEstigation. They can be useful? Yes. But never just by their own.

Also the tendency of focusing in ALL the details of the card except for the fucking card itself is making me want to bath with my toaster ahshasa. WHO cares if the book of the Popesse has that many lines. Who cares if the flowers in the fucking marseille style decks are in one way or another. Pamela Colman Smith made an EXCELLENT work with the symbology of the RWS deck (credit where it is due) but jesus fucking christ the symbology goes AFTER the hierarchy of allegories.

We can't have another Jodorowsky right now saying shit like "yeah, the lighting in the Tower is a fetus and there is a egg in the Poppesse and the World that means...". We can't be giving more focus in a reading to the fucking clouds or the colors of the clothes than the fucking Allegory that the cards illustrates. Sometimes a letter is a letter and sometimes some flowers are just flowers. Follow KISS: Keep It Simple, Stupid 😘💋.

#divination #witchcraft #cartomancy #fortune telling #tarot #tarot cards #tarotblr #witchblr

[showtoonzfan]

hi! may I ask why you don’t think Lucifer should be a good person deep down? Nothing against it, I was just wondering and how you would characterize Lucifer.

Well, I don’t think he’s “good deep down”, because he’s….Lucifer. For me personally, you can characterize Lucifer in many interesting ways. Like I said, I don’t mind the idea of him having a circus motif and seeing Hell as his circus, but I am worried he’ll be too similar to Alastor, being bored and craving twisted entertainment. To make him more distinct, I’d like to see him as strict and straightforward, someone who knows he rules the land where sinners go to suffer, and he looks down on all of them, not taking pity at all and only using them to torture further and prove his point on how pathetic and easily manipulative the human race is, how people will backstab others, go to high lengths to get what they want, kill, ect. I’d like to think that the reason he is against Charlie’s wishes to redeem sinners is that these people HAD a chance, and now they belong here. They don’t deserve redemption, they don’t deserve anything that would get them to a higher place. He thinks redeeming sinners defeats the entire purpose of all the work he’s done, the work he’s showed. I’d also like to think of him as someone who isn’t oblivious, like despite thinking what he thinks, he knows mankind is able to improve morality wise, people CAN change, but it’s not a matter of if they can for him, it’s a matter of if they deserve it. He likes to keep everything in the place, of course I imagine he’s strict when it comes to Hell’s ranking. I also liked to think that…in a way, he admires God, and doesn’t hate him completely. It wouldn’t be just utter hatred, but respect, because God is the one who created human life, and Lucifer is thankful for humankind because he gets to show the bad sides that come with people, with sinners, and he gets to torture them FOR their sins. He was a fallen Angel after all. Basically I’d like to think Lucifer represents all the complexities that come with being a human being. It’s not just “this is your good side” and “this is your bad side” it’s very complex, and I think the character himself can interestingly give good commentary on the idea of people being redeemed, or people who are too far gone or don’t deserve it.

Honestly the more I think about this, the more I hate the “overpopulation” and “extermination” concept. The whole point of Hell is that you’re there to suffer and can’t escape, so I’d like to think that rather than Lucifer “not caring” if his people were to be killed, I’d rather have him not care that Hell is overpopulated and doesn’t want to kill any of the sinners, because they’re not here to die, they’re here to suffer for all eternity. While the wars between heaven and hell could be interesting, the whole “annual cleanse” thing is just…nonsense to me. You could have easily said the daughter of Lucifer was sick of sinners suffering, so she wanted to redeem them and leave it at that. Then maybe Heaven would find out about this plan, obliviously be against it, and would want to go to war. It would cause conflict between Charlie and her father, and heaven and hell. These are just my personal ideas, nothing major or special, just thoughts. Again, there are a MILLION ways to rewrite a story like Hazbin, these are just a few of mine.

#vivziepop critical #spindlehorse critical #helluva boss critical #Lucifer #reply #ask #Hazbin hotel Lucifer critical #Hazbin critical #Hazbin criticism #writing #nothing professional these are just ideas of mine #worldbuilding #hazbin hotel critical

[kekeartzworld]

So, Digital Circus Lore

I had talked with my boyfriend and he’s revealed a lot about the lore for The Amazing Digital Circus that honestly surprised me

Like how Caine is apparently the embodiment of the game’s programmer who died in a car crash and that apparently Queenie is actually Kinger’s sister (?)

I have a hard time believing the latter but at the same time my boyfriend dives in deep whenever it comes to his research, even learning about thing that honestly shouldn’t be shared publicly like apparently a male developer on the show used to be with one of the female producers but was a douche so she broke up with him and got with his sister instead???

Real crazy shit going on behind the scenes with Glitch Productions that’s all I’ll say about that part

Kinger is dead apparently and the abstractions exist because they represent humans that died before their souls fully transferred to their digital bodies (my boyfriend described it as being a sort of Fnaf type scenario)

Jax is confirmed gay and he had like, 3 boyfriends??? That’s another thing that caught me off guard and the thing that surprised me the most is that Pomni is canonically a lesbian and she has a wife that went missing

According to what my boyfriend’s told me, this could’ve implemented that the wife in question could possibly be Ragatha and after I heard this, the only thing on my mind is “HOLY FUCKING SHIT, DIGITAL YURI IS CANON”

Then my boyfriend said something about Zooble being Kinger’s actual canon wife which I also find difficult to believe but again he digs deep into his research so I think it probably does have some truth to it

..unless all of this is false and I was fucking lied to but honestly I wouldn’t think my boyfriend would purposely lie to me so until I am given information that I could show him to disprove all this, I’m going to believe him for now

All this new information has me in a loophole of realizing that what I previously thought was true about Digital Circus is not the true canon at all and that a majority of this fandom is lying to me about what the lore actually is but then again we only have a single pilot to base all of this off of so we can’t be fully sure of what’s true or false until more episodes release

#keke’s shitpost