#and that sparks missing his brother like nothing else | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thebearchives · 2 years

Text

leclerc's type | CL16

PAIRING: charles leclerc x fem!reader

REQUESTED: [X] yes [] no

WORD COUNT: 3.2k

SYNOPSIS: who would have thought that all three leclerc brothers had the same taste in women?

WARNINGS: i have no idea how f3 works aside from the fact that there’s sprint and feature races so if there is any inaccurate information…close your eyes, some french and Italian + translations, arthur being a little shit

as always, don't be a ghost reader!

charles and yourself had yet to expose your relationship to either of your families, so it was a surprise, really, when charles asked you to accompany him to arthur’s race in monza.

with his arms wrapped around you, a pout painted on his lips, he whined out a small “pretty please?”

you cupped his puffed up cheeks, “you are such a baby, charles. i didn’t say no yet.”

“yet?” his pout intensified, “please, amour, i want you to meet my family and everyone is going to be there.”

“are you sure?” you caressed his cheek with your thumb, “we’ve never really talked about meeting the family yet. what sprung this on?”

“i just think we’re ready,” charles’ eyes were so soft as they gazed into yours, “when i think of my family, you’re included. even if everyone is going to be there in italy, without you, it wouldn’t feel complete to me.”

you couldn’t help it, using your hands that were cupped around his cheeks to pull him closer. you pushed up and connected your lips together in a sweet kiss.

when you pulled back, charles’ lips were still puckered slightly, his eyes shining with unspeakable amounts of love. you gave him a watery smile and he smiled back.

“you can’t say those things unless you want me to cry,” you pulled a hand back to wipe your eyes before the unshed tears made their way down your face, “i’d love to meet your family, mon cher.” my dear.

charles’ nose crinkled as you poked it with your forefinger, “je t’adore, mon amour.” i adore you, my love.

“je t'aime plus que tout au monde,” you wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him close, placing a kiss against the base of his neck. i love you more than anything else in the world.

the weeks leading up to the races in italy became increasingly more hectic. you had started with going to work like regular, while charles would leave to go to his own races, calling you as soon as he landed in whatever city he was to complain about how he wished he could be back in your arms.

then, you asked for days off from work, and when the request was approved, you felt yourself starting to panic. it was happening. you would be meeting charles’ family for the first time. the calls between you and charles turned from soft ‘i miss you’s to ‘is this appropriate for when i meet your mom? should i go shopping? i have no clothes, charles, your mother is going to hate me’.

charles had only smiled softly, wishing he could have been there in person to quell your fears, “mon amour, what you wear will have no effect on how my mother will perceive you. you could show up in a garbage bag for all she’d care.”

you had scowled at the camera and charles laughed before continuing, “i love you, chérie, and i know my mother will love you just as much as i do…okay, maybe a little less because no one can love you as much as me.”

you had sighed, flopping back on your bed which had been covered with clothes, “i’m sorry for acting this way. i’m just nervous.”

“you’ve nothing to apologize for,” he wished he could jump through the phone to reach you, “and nothing to be nervous for either, ange.”

you sat up abruptly, “what if your brothers hate me?”

charles had thrown his head back and laughed loudly, sobering up when you whined out his name, “this is serious, charles!”

“mon amour, they would be crazy not to like you. i’d be surprised if they didn’t like you as much as i did.”

and if only either of you had realized how right he would be.

you had flown in with charles at the start of the week, a bundle of nerves sparking in your chest that charles had quickly extinguished by telling you that his mother would be arriving later in the week.

well, it was now later and the anxiety that you had been suppressing was bursting at the seams.

you weren’t due to meet charles’ family officially until friday after free practices, with charles having planned an outing and dinner for his whole family before the races began for him and arthur. he had told you that he wanted to surprise his family, and as such, you had to avoid them as best as you could while on the paddock.

you couldn’t help but be thankful for charles’ idea, having been panicking the entire week leading up to the race at the idea of running into charles’ family without charles himself.

and so, that led you to where you were now, walking around the paddock bright and early on media day, staying as far away from the ferrari garage as you could, to avoid any run-ins with the leclerc family, though life never seemed to work out in your favour ever.

you had finally caved, walking back towards the ferrari hospitality, in need of coffee and a place to escape the beaming sun. what you hadn’t accounted for was the tall man standing near the entrance, conversing with who you recognized to be charles’ manager. the two said a few words before the latter was off, no doubt making his way to charles.

the taller man turned around, and your eyes lightly widened as you realized you had been standing behind charles’ older brother.

your eyes darted to the floor as his fell on your figure, “oh, i am so sorry. i’m totally blocking your way in.”

wow, he sounded a lot like charles.

you realized, belatedly, that he had in fact been blocking the entrance, “oh, that’s okay! i only just got here.” you gave him a small smile.

it’s okay, you thought to yourself, he has no reason to think i’m charles’ girlfriend, he probably won’t even remember this interaction by later today.

he moved over, hands gesturing to the door behind him, “after you.”

oh, fuck, he was coming in too.

you nodded at him in gratitude, “thank you.”

you walked inside, mentally freaking out at how lorenzo was right behind you. you ignored him as best as you could, making a beeline towards the coffee station to the side. lorenzo had followed you.

“sorry,” he gave you a sheepish smile, starting on his own coffee on the station next to yours, “i hope you don’t think i’m following you.”

you were stuck. although not ideal for the plans you and charles had made, you had to play your cards right in this moment. first impressions would have to be really good if you were expecting a positive response from charles’ family.

you turned your gaze from the coffee machine to the eldest leclerc brother, “wouldn’t hold it entirely past you. for all i know, you could have been blocking the entrance just for this moment.”

ah, humour, your go-to route for any situation ever. worried? make a joke. sad? make a joke. overthinking? just make a joke!!!

lorenzo laughed lightly, “i promise, i wasn’t. i had just been on my way to grab a coffee when my brother’s manager had stopped me for a quick conversation and you came up just as he left.”

“don’t get too worked up,” you chuckled as the speed of his explanation. you could see where charles got some of his habits from, “i believe you. i’d been there to see todt walk off.”

from the corner of your eye, you could see him nod. as you busied yourself with making your coffee to your liking, you missed lorenzo’s calculating gaze as he gave you a once-over.

just as you threw away the used coffee pod, lorenzo spoke up again, “i’m lorenzo, by the way, charles’ brother.”

“i know,” you smiled at him. as worried as you had been, lorenzo had been very easy to talk to.

“i’m y/n, charles’ not brother.”

your response had elicited a loud laugh from the older leclerc, “you’re quite the joker, aren’t you?”

you opted to shrug your shoulders with a small smile, blowing on your coffee before taking a sip. more sugar.

lorenzo made small talk, “do you work here at ferrari?”

you shook your head, “no, no. would be amazing though, no? especially if i could travel the world as part of my job. charles is lucky.”

fuck, you wanted to hit your head against the wall, why would you bring charles into the conversation. oh god, please let lorenzo just brush past that.

he hummed in acknowledgement, “he is, indeed. but he’s also very deserving of it, you know? i don’t mean to sound biased but,”

“i know what you mean,” you continued, always ready to gush about your boyfriend, “he’s worked really hard to get to where he is. youngest driver for ferrari since 1961, that’s quite the achievement.”

the two of you chatted lightly for a few more minutes before lorenzo asked another question, “so then, what’s a pretty girl like you doing here alone?”

you tensed, cheeks reddening at his words. you opened your mouth and then closed it, repeating before you finally opened it to respond, “i–”

“lorenzo!” both of your heads turned to where the sound came from. your eyes caught sight of the figure waving his hands in the air, beckoning lorenzo over. it was arthur.

“sounds like someone needs your help,” thank god for arthur, huh?

“yeah, it seems i have to go now.” lorenzo looked back at you, “it was great meeting you, y/n.”

“likewise,” you nodded to him as you watched him leave, only one thought circulating your mind.

holy shit, your boyfriend’s older brother just tried to flirt with you.

luckily, the rest of media day had been rather uneventful and you were soon back in the hotel room you shared with charles, said driver gone to hang out with his brothers for a bit.

friday morning had gone by smoothly, and with a little over an hour until the free practices, you were sitting in the ferrari hospitality, grabbing yourself a snack.

what you hadn’t noticed was the two men who had been looking at you from a distance away. lorenzo and arthur, with the former pointing you out discretely to the latter.

“n'est-elle pas jolie?” lorenzo nudged his youngest brother. isn’t she super pretty?

arthur nodded, “elle l'est. tu penses que j'ai une chance?” she is. do you think i have a chance?

lorenzo gaped at his younger brother, who laughed cheekily, “je l'ai vue en premier, arthur, n'y pense même pas.” i saw her first, arthur, don't even think about it.

the younger one shrugged, “oui, et tu as probablement ruiné tes chances avec elle. ton flirt est horrible.” yeah, and you probably ruined your chances with her. your flirting is horrible.

he pushed off from where he had been leaning, “watch and learn, mon frère. elle ne pourra pas résister à mon charme.” she won’t be able to resist my charm.

lorenzo watched in disbelief as his younger brother made his way to you, “du charme, mon cul. tout votre charme n'est qu'une copie de charles et moi.” charm, my ass. all of your charm is just a copy of charles and i.

a throat cleared behind you and you turned in your seat. the smiling face of the youngest leclerc was the first thing you saw, body freezing for a split second.

he pointed to the chair across from you, “is this seat taken?”

you took a look at the chair he pointed at before looking back at him, “not at all. do you nee-”

you watched as the boy sat down, hands coming up to rest on the table, “you don’t mind, right?”

your brows were furrowed in slight confusion as you tried to absorb what just happened, “uh, no. no, it’s alright.”

“i’m arthur,” he stuck his hand out.

you returned the handshake, “y/n.”

you couldn’t help but blush slightly, bewildered look on your face, as arthur brought your hand up and placed a kiss on the back of your hand. wow, he was laying it on thick.

“beautiful name for a beautiful girl,” unlike when lorenzo had called you pretty, you didn’t freeze up. instead, you found yourself giggling.

you pulled your hand out from arthur’s light hold, using it to cover your mouth, “oh, i am so sorry. i promise i’m not laughing at you. it’s just that you are very cute.”

arthur’s face dropped, “cute?”

god, his pout was just like charles’.

you nodded, a smile still lingering on your lips, “adorable, even.”

you didn’t know how it was possible but his face dropped even more, “adorable??”

you let out a loud laugh, “oh, mon dieu. you’re just like your brother.”

and you fumbled again. wow, you really couldn’t go a conversation without talking about your boyfriend, huh?

“lorenzo?” arthur asked, “wait, you speak french?”

you only smiled, letting him guess the answers to either question.

arthur took your smile as a yes to both questions, “listen, i am nothing like my brother. il est complètement idiot quand il s'agit de parler aux jolies filles. moi, d'un autre côté, je suis un naturel.” he's a total idiot when it comes to talking to pretty girls. me, on the other hand? i'm a natural.

“ah, is that what this is? you being a natural?” you smirked, watching as his cheeks flushed slightly.

“well, sometimes, the really pretty girls make me a bit nervous.” arthur scratched the back of his head. ah, he was like a mini charles.

you smiled, “well, as honoured as i am to be considered a ‘really pretty girl’, i’m afraid i’m a bit too old for you, bud.”

arthur groaned, planting his head in his arms against the table, “this is going horribly for me.”

“i told you, your charm is non-existent,” another voice called out from behind you. it was lorenzo.

he came around the table and smacked the back of arthur’s head, “tu es vraiment un idiot.” you are such an idiot.

you laughed at arthur’s sorrowful expression, “oh, i think he’s got quite the charm. just not enough years under the belt.”

lorenzo smiled apologetically at you, “i am so sorry for whatever he has said to you in the past five minutes.”

you waved him off, “no worries, arthur is quite the company.”

you looked at the time, deciding it would be good to go back to the garage to see charles once before he started his practices, “well, boys. i’ve got to head out. it was great meeting you, arthur! and seeing you again today, lorenzo, i’m sure i’ll catch you guys again somewhere on the paddock.”

the two brothers returned your goodbye, waiting for you to leave before arguing about who had a more realistic shot with you.

you couldn’t help but laugh as you heard a few seconds of their conversation. if only charles had realized how right he would be about his brothers liking you as much as him. turns out, all the leclerc brothers had the same taste in girls.

although you had told them you would, you didn’t see the two leclerc brothers for the rest of your day on the paddock. you went home with charles soon after the free practices ended, both excited to get ready and have dinner with his family.

having already met and conversed with both of charles’ brothers, you couldn’t help but feel less nervous for the dinner. pascale had been the only one you hadn’t met yet, and objectively, she was the one to impress. but now that you knew all three of her boys, you were sure that she had to be nice to have raised such kind boys.

now, the pair of you were sat in charles’ ferrari, driving to the restaurant of his choosing. one of his hands rested on your thigh, rubbing circles against the skin.

“sei bellissima, amore.” you loved it when charles spoke in italian, something about the way he sounded just drove your head crazy. you look so beautiful, love.

“grazie, tesoro,” thanks, honey. you gave him a soft smile, “but please don’t say anything else in italian, you know i can’t understand it.”

“i’ll just have to teach you, then,” charles stopped at a stop light, the hand on your thigh turning around as if asking for your hand.

you placed your hand in his and he squeezed it, “you are less nervous today.”

you squeezed his hand back, playing with the watch that was on his wrist, “oui, i actually met your brothers yesterday and today.”

“oh, no. how are you recovering?” charles joked.

“they were quite the charmers, i will say that.” you sighed, looking at your boyfriend’s side profile, “you guys have a lot in common, actually.”

“only good things, i hope.”

“well, i know that you all have excellent taste.” at his confused expression, you waved him off, “story for the dinner, maybe.”

soon, charles had parked and you two were walking into the restaurant hand-in-hand. from afar, you could make out the rough figures of lorenzo and arthur at the table in the far left corner. as you got closer, you could see a woman sitting with them. pascale.

when you two got close enough to the table, you pulled your hand from charles’ grasp, instead clasping your own hands together at the front of your body. charles gave you a small smile filled with reassurance before taking the final step, garnering the attention of his whole family.

lorenzo’s eyes moved past charles and onto you, a confused look on his face, “y/n?”

arthur’s head shot up at the sound of your name, “y/n? she’s here?”

his frantic eyes zeroed into yours, before looking over at his brother confused.

charles smiled, reaching a hand out to wrap around your waist and pull you forward, “maman, boys, je vous présente ma petite amie, y/n.” i want you to meet my girlfriend,

you smiled, “bonjour! ravi de vous rencontrer tous,” your eyes went from pascale to the two boys in front of you, “officiellement cette fois.” hello! nice to meet you all…officially this time.

at charles’ announcement, both brothers felt their jaws drop.

“merde,” lorenzo breathed out, face growing redder as he looked at your wide smile. shit.

arthur closed his eyes, hands coming up to hide his face “oh mon dieu, on a flirté avec la petite amie de charles.” oh my god, we flirted with charles' girlfriend.

“tu as fait quoi?!” you did what?!

6K notes · View notes

cannellee · 30 days

Text

TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ☆

୨୧ alpha! draken x omega! reader x omega! emma

— you and emma are both dating and you try everything to court your crush, draken.

cw : reader and emma are flirty ++, the ending is bad

my masterlist: ☆

you and emma were the oh so coveted omega couple of the town. so unusual for two fragile things like you to actually turn to another omega rather than an alpha who can properly take care of you.

but whatever people could think about the stability of your relationship, the both of you were a happy little pair who wanted nothing more than to stay together.

you thought that none of you would ever come to crave the touch of an alpha, to try and attract one. but here you were, desperately looking for the tall man working at his bike shop.

you met him at emma's house, he's a friend of her brother and comes rather regularly. still, emma never actually took the time to properly talk with him so she didn't really knew what he was like.

but a few weeks prior, when you were waiting for emma to get dressed, draken offered to escort the both of you to your destination. his eyes were filled with nothing but genuine concern and you found the three of you enjoying the conversation upon your walk there.

kind, strong, reliable and respectful. draken was definitely a change. not that you or emma was getting tired of your relationship, but your love was big enough to be shared with an extra person.

you didn't need to have a serious talk together, your mind and desires were so in tunes you knew exactly what the other was thinking. you thought having an alpha by your side wasn't so bad after all.

so you spent most of your days courting him. it was subtle, more like attempts at being friendly and appearing small in hopes to spark his protective instincts.

unexpectedly, draken was hard to get. the lovely mixture of both your vanilla scent and emma's honey one usually made people stop in their tracks and whip their heads into your direction. but draken remained stoic, never flinching when your chest brushed against his big arm just a little too close and emma's hand lingered a while longer on his biceps.

so you decided you had to take things further and got even bolder.

you once mindlessly 'forgot' your sweater over when you had to give him the homework he had missed the day before. your scent was sure to be spreading inside his whole room if he didn't throw it out. but he gave it to you the next day, clothe neatly folded in a bag as if your serious courting gift didn't happen. similarly, emma and you would bake a few of your favourite treats, showing off your cooking skills and handing it to him in a pretty box all cutely tied up with pink ribbons and glitters. he ate all of it and thanked you with a neutral smile, not even hinting that he might be just a tiny bit interested.

draken's self control was insane, making you actually question if he was an alpha for how little response he showed when you nearly drowned him in your sugary sweet pheromones. you swore you once saw his eyebrows twitch but you couldn't say anything else as he left you there right after.

you were so upset he wasn't responding accordingly and emma felt as frustrated as you. "what the hell is so disgusting about us that he won't even look our way", she huffed, cuddling closer to you in your nest, feeling vexed at his lack of reaction.

"don't say that emma! I'm sure with a little more time he'll finally give in", she looked at you unconvinced, but didn't say anything, preferring to let you stay optimistic about it.

and how right you were. it has only been two weeks of intensive courting and draken's patience was running thin. he didn't know how to feel, he didn't know how to react, but most importantly, he didn't know if you were aware of how unusually tempting the both of you were being.

draken knew you were dating, and he respected that. he opted for the role of a guard dog, chasing away people who thought you were easy preys and a real walking fantasy.

draken would've lied if he said seeing his two omega friends so close to him and giving him extra attention didn't flatter him. it made him soften up more than he'd like to admit.

he'd taken the habit of buying you guys food and sweets along with pastries, he had your tastes figured out and couldn't help but worry about whether you took care of yourselves properly.

he knew that was probably disrespectful and he didn't want any of you to know how he felt. he wanted to preserve that precious friendship and for you not to associate him with those lust-driven alphas.

when you invited him over to your house in one ultimate attempt to make him crumble, draken thought he was going to explode.

you guided him inside your nest room, forced him down next to the blankets and plushies – which you drowned in your scents a few minutes before – and proceeded to sit next to him on each side.

you settled on watching a movie after all but begging draken to actually stay over even if your little plumbing problem had been solved by him soon after he arrived. he gulped as he watched the two of you reach for the popcorn bowl you put in his lap, bending over each time you reached for a fist of your favourite treat.

draken kept growing hotter with each passing minutes as, weirdly, problems after problems seemed to arise. first, you mysteriously cut yourself, "draken, my finger hurts a lot. I think you should kiss it better". and emma watches with an amused smile how the big man softly treats your tiny wound, gently blowing on it after putting a bandage on it.

draken feels himself lose his patience even more after emma undresses herself, claiming it's always too hot when there are multiple people in the nest. removing her sweater, she's left with nothing but a tight top which barely covers her tits.

draken's scent is getting stronger and you take that as your first little victory as he always was so composed. you turn to emma who gives you a knowing look and you both agree to try something else. you were ready to risk it all, draken was either gonna accept your courting or your friendship was over !

"draken..." you start, "don't you like us?" the question came out more hesitantly than you expected and you waited for his response.

"... what?" he looks at you with visible confusion.

"oh come on, don't tell us you didn't notice how serious it was for us. it's like you don't even care" the annoyance in emma's voice is quickly replaced by hurt, her omega growing sadder at the rejection of her alpha.

draken felt himself panicking, almost clueless until he finally connects the dots. no wonder you were so clingy and acted this cute with him.

draken didn't know how to feel about having your full attention on him, but your little confession had him weak in the knees.

draken wasn't usually one to be this dumb about such topics. he'd say he's actually rather observant. but your attachment to him had totally been misunderstood, thinking you just liked him as a friend. he had forced himself to the point he tried to keep his distance with you because he didn't want to be a homewrecker, even with how his instincts nearly killed him each time he had to watch you close your door leaving him outside when all he wanted was to join you and take care of you like you deserved.

after the initial confusion, draken was ecstatic, like he had finally accomplished his utmost dream.

"if you don't like us courting you, just say it !"

"w-what? oh no, please don't believe that", he quickly denied your accusations, "I just didn't catch on it, I thought you liked me but not like..."

emma huffed, angry that draken was so slow. he noted both of your frustration and made it his priority to appease you.

"I'm sorry. i didn't mean to upset you. and I... really love you"

god, it felt like a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. you looked at emma's sparkling eyes, your own scent growing sweeter by the joy you felt.

you took that as his permission to cuddle so you shimmied closer to him, strong arms falling on the both of you, shielding you like never before.

156 notes · View notes

brittanymoura · 10 months

Text

her smile

azriel x reader

summary: Y/N is having a rough time, Azriel doesn’t know how to help her... until he does (angst, friends to lovers, Archeron!reader).

word count: 3k

warnings: grief, despair

a/n: I swear I have not abandoned ‘the heir & the emissary’. I’ve been going through some personal stuff lately and haven’t had it in me to write lately until this idea sparked my inspiration. I’ll be getting back to that story soon.

————

The corners of his mouth ticked up as he looked around the room and saw nothing but smiles. It was a cold night in Velaris and the inner circle was gathered at the townhouse enjoying a relaxing night together, filled with liquor and laughter. It had become increasingly rare that everyone was able to get together like this.

“I can’t believe Y/N’s finally coming home tomorrow. Definitely wasn’t expecting her mission to keep her away for so long.” Mor stated, gaining the rooms full attention.

“It’ll be awesome to have her back, it’s been a bit lonely without my partner in crime. I’m excited.” Cassian exclaimed, “though probably not quite as excited as Az.” A smirk overtook his face as he turned toward his brother.

Azriel scoffed, rolling his eyes good-naturedly, but was ultimately unable to keep the smile from spreading across his face.

He had missed her terribly. He missed her infectious laughter, her shining eyes and the way she never failed to make him feel seen. But most of all, he missed her bright smile. The one she saved just for him. The kind of smile that lit up a room and always reached her eyes. It never failed to make his heart flutter. From the moment he met her, the eldest Archeron sister had whittled her way into his heart and had quickly become his closest confidant. The two had become inseparable and the way she so easily slipped into the empty spaces of his life, making him finally feel whole, never ceased to amaze him. Despite the trauma she had suffered, she always remained the bright sunshine capable of lighting up his dark world.

“Yes, well none of us expected the clean up efforts to go on for quite so long,” Rhys handed a freshly filled glass to Azriel as he took a seat on the couch beside him, pulling Feyre into his lap. “When I originally asked her to lend her gifts to aid those in need, I only thought she’d be gone a few weeks. Certainly not a few months.”

Before anyone else could speak on the topic, the air seemed to ripple around them and Lucien stepped out of nothingness. He wore an uncharacteristically grim expression and his hair seemed disheveled, as though he has been nervously running his fingers through it. Azriel was immediately on edge.

“I’m glad you’re all here because I need to talk to you,” he stated.

“Lucien. What brings you here tonight? I thought you were meant to be picking up Y/N?” Rhys raised one brown in question.

“That’s what I need to talk to you about. She’s-” Lucien set out a long sigh. He turned to the cabinet and pulled out a glass, quickly popping open the nearest bottle and filling the it. “She’s… well I’m not really sure how to explain it.”

“Okay, you seem stressed. Take a breath and then tell us what has you so bothered. Is Y/N okay?” Feyre sat up in Rhys’ lap, the tension of the room beginning to escalate. Her oldest sister has always been her anchor, keeping her grounded. Through thick and thin, any problem Feyre had she always knew Y/N would be there to help her through it. For as close as Nesta and Elain had been, her and Y/N had been thick as thieves.

“Physically? Yes. Mentally? Not even close.” Lucien exhaled and his shouldered sagged.

Azriel sat up straighter, his shadows beginning to move around him in an agitated fashion. His heart rate picked up and sweat started to gather on his palms. “What do you mean?” He asked, voice rougher than usual.

“I had gone there tonight with the intention of helping her gather her belongings and prepare for the trip home but I barely even made it through the door when the head healer pulled me aside. She said Y/N’s healing had some… unforeseen side effects. Essentially, from what she could gather, every time Y/N uses her energy to heal, she absorbs the energy of those around her to create a balance. In normal circumstances this would probably be fine but doing it in the healers tents of an old battle field… well she’s been surrounded by nothing by grief and death all these months. She’s been taking it all in and now…” His sentence trailed off. He ran is hands through his hair, staring down at his feet.

“And now?” Cassian asked. The room was so quiet even a human could hear a pin drop.

“She doesn’t speak. She doesn’t laugh. She doesn’t really do much of anything but stare off into nothing. And her eyes, Gods, her eyes. They’re so lifeless, it’s like an empty shell of who she was.” Lucien felt a shiver run through him at the thought of her eyes, the way she had looked at him when he saw her for the first time. “I’m going back tomorrow morning to pick her up, but I had to let you all know so you aren’t shocked when you see her.”

Azriel froze, back stiff and eyes wide. His shadows were moving in a frenzy around him. His grip tightened on the glass he was holding as his knuckles turned white. That couldn’t be right.

Nobody spoke, the room a silent stillness. No one knew what to say.

————

The inner circle gathered around the dining room table. A low rumble of conversation consumed them, much more tame than what would usually be expected at a family dinner. The tension could be cut with a knife. Each member sat rigidly in their seat, unsure of what to expect upon her arrival.

Suddenly the sound of the front door opening could be heard reverberating through the house and the soft sound of footsteps followed in its wake. Azriel took a deep breath as his eyes connected with Mor who sat directly across from him. She gave him a tight-lipped smile. His heart was racing and sweat was beading on the back of his neck. His shadows were restless too, swarming him in a fit of nervousness.

Lucien appeared first, a small smile gracing his lips. “Hello everyone,” he stated as he sat down in the empty seat beside Elain. As he sat down, everyone’s eyes moved the body which had been previously hidden behind him. And there she was.

Y/N’s stood in the dining room entry way, straight as a board with her hands clasped behind her back. Her frame appeared thinner than he remembered and even her hair seemed to lack its usual liveliness. But in the end, it was her eyes that caused his heart to clench. They were empty and unseeing, as though she were staring through them.

He stood from his seat, the silent tension beginning to get to him. Nobody spoke. He pulled out the empty seat next to him and the sound caused her head to turn in his direction. Their gazes met and for moment, they simply stared at each other. Then she began to move as she swiftly and silently she settled into the seat beside him. Still, no words were spoken.

“We’re so happy you’re home!” Feyre exclaimed, allowing a large smile to spread across her face. Y/N turned her head in Feyre’s direction but said nothing. No smile graced her lips, no light sparked in her eyes.

Nothing.

“Remember us? Your sisters. You’re not even going to say ‘hello’ to us?” Nesta spoke up, irritation beginning to creep up her spine.

Nothing.

“I missed you Sunshine,” Cassian tried his hand. A warm smile upon his face as he looked at her. “Turns out, these losers aren’t nearly as fun to prank without you there to assist me.”

Nothing.

Azriel simply stared at her. His eyes were locked onto the side of her head as his heart began to fill with dread. His stomach felt as though it had been filled with lead. He reach out and grabbed her hand beneath the table as it sat in her lap.

Please. He begged. Please react. Do something, anything. He prayed to any Gods that may be listening.

Still, nothing.

Cassian looked across the table to his brother and winced. Through all the trials and tribulations they had faced, he had never seen Azriel look as distressed as he did now. His body was stiff with tension and even his shadows were pulled in tight. A pained expression adorned his face and his eyes were wide with horror, tears gathering along his lower lashes. He would not take his eyes off her. Despite all attempts, Y/N remained unmoving, blankly staring at the wooden table before her. All the while, Az steadfastly refused to let go of her hand. He had no idea if she even knew he was there but he hoped that maybe, in some small way, he was providing her some comfort.

————

And that’s how the weeks carried on. No emotions, no speech. Y/N remained as she was, floating through each day like a ghost.

The inner circle got to work.

Each person took turns to dig through archives and books looking for any sign of how to fix it. Rhys reached out to Helion in the hope that maybe, somewhere among his massive library, they would find a solution.

Azriel spent every waking moment he could either sitting beside her and speaking in soft tones or scouring countless books. There had to be an answer, if only he could find it.

Come to my office. Azriel heard his brothers voice in his mind and he let out a small sigh, shutting the book before him. Another waste.

Upon entering Rhys’ office he found both his brothers already seated. They each gave him a small smile as he took a seat beside them. Rhys leaned forward with his arms on his desk and his fingers crossed before him.

“I spoke with Helion about the situation and he believes he understands what is happening. Though we have yet to find a solution.”

Azriel stared across the desk at his brother, silently prompting him to continue.

“He believes that she’s burnt out much of her ability to heal and replaced that empty well with death, despair and grief. It had become such a common occurrence for her, that her body no longer registers those things as separate emotions. Essentially her baseline has been reprogrammed to those feelings.”

“So, she’s feeling grief and despair in a never-ending loop at all moments of the day? To the extent that it’s become her new normal?” Azriel spoke in a voice softer, sadder, than either Rhys or Cassian had ever heard before.

Rhys let out a small sigh, “essentially yes. We don’t have a set solution yet but Helion believes that if we can find a way to help her expel those emotions and surround her with comfort, we may be able to reverse it.”

Azriel’s eyes clenched tightly shut and his head dropped low, supported by his hands as his elbows rested on his knees. He hunched over as his shoulders began to shake violently. Both Cassian and Rhys shot up from their seats and made their way over to their brother. They crouched down beside him on either side and brought comforting hands up to his back.

“She’s always been there for me. When I’m feeling lost and alone she’s alway been able to pull me out of that darkness. This time she needs me and I can’t even help her. I don’t know how to fix this,” Azriel sobbed. “I can feel her withering away. Help me. Please. I don’t know what to do for her.”

His brothers locked eyes over his back and they shared a sad look. They had never heard Azriel beg before, had never heard him plead for help. Not like this.

“We’ll find a way to help her. I promise you, we will not stop until we find a way to make it right,” Rhys swore to him.

————

Surrounding her with love and support was the first plan set in motion. Even still, there was no progress. Mor took her shopping, Nesta brought her to spend time with Gwyn and Emerie. Even Elain tried to get her to garden alongside her. Nothing worked. She sat in silence, eyes blank.

The whole inner circle had once again gathered at the townhouse for another night in. Y/N was settled on the couch with her back pressed against the armrest and her knees pulled up to her chest. Her head was leaning against the back of the couch as she stared silently out the front window. The others were scattered around the living room, some taking part in a rowdy card game and others chatting quietly but Azriel couldn’t focus on anything but her. His eyes never strayed from her form, hoping against all odds that somehow she would respond to anything.

Rhys was sat next to him on the couch adjacent to the one Y/N sat upon. He leaned his head closer to his brother to hear him speak.

“I’m sending Amren to Day court tomorrow in the hopes she can go through some more of the books in the library there. Hopefully we get some good news soon.” Azriel nodded slowly; he wasn’t hopeful. He took another sip of his drink, and allowed himself a moment of calm. A moment to relax. And then it happened.

His shadows exploded out of him at the first sign of his hold on them loosening. He’d been keeping them so tightly wound in an effort to not startle her that as soon as his hold on them slackened they shot out towards her. His shadows swarmed her, covering Y/N completely and sheltering her from the world. He stood up quickly, ready to pull them back into him and apologize for their behavior. Before he could make a move though, he heard a small noise. Everyone went silent.

There it was again. A small, wet noise. A sniffle. Then, a hand shot out from the thick darkness, fingers making a grabbing motion.

“Azriel?” That voice. He knew that voice. His whole body froze, shock taking over him. “Azriel, please.” He moved with swiftness, reaching into the darkness and scooping her up, sitting on the couch and pulling her into his lap. He felt her thin fingers latch onto his shirt, holding on as though he were the only thing tethering her to this world. And then she began to sob. Loud, keening wails escaped her as she buried her face into his neck.

Nobody moved for fear of ruining this moment. It was what she needed, to expel these emotions.

“I-I want to go home,” she pleaded and she had barely even finished her request when they were swallowed up by darkness and carried off into the night.

A moment of silence passed over the group before Mor spoke up. “Where is he taking her? This is her home, she lives here.”

Cassian let out a huff, a little smile resting on his lips. “They’re in his room. She always used to call it home. I’m not sure how I seem to be the only who’s ever noticed but she basically lived in there with him.”

“What? Since when?” Feyre asked.

“For a long time. She always called this the townhouse or just ‘the house’ but his room, she always referred to it as home. From almost the beginning she started staying in there. They’d stay up late into the night talking. And then, slowly, her stuff just started migrating in there. If you don’t believe me, go look in her room. It’s barren.” Cassian smiled, widely this time. It thrilled him to know he’d been the only one observant enough to pick up on this fact.

“Do you think they’re like, together? Is that why he’s been taking this so hard? I just thought they were really close friends.” Feyre asked again, brows furrowing.

“Honestly, darling… I’m pretty positive they’re mates.” Feyre gasped.

“He told you that?!”

“No, not directly… but he didn’t have too. He was upset about the situation the other night and he said he could feel her withering away. I don’t think he even realized he said it, but he told us he could feel her.” And at that, smiles spread across each of their faces. Finally, they thought, the two people who deserved that kind of never ending, all-encompassing love, more than anyone were finally receiving it.

————

Azriel and Y/N reemerged in his bedroom. Silence surrounding them and only the sound of her short gasping breaths filling the space. He kept her tucked against him as he sat back on his bed against the headrest. She sat sideways between his legs, one of his arms wrapped around her waist and the other buried in her hair. He kept her head pressed close to him, his lips against her forehead.

“I’m here, love. I’m here for you.” He murmured against her skin, his eyes falling shut as salty tears ran down his cheeks and dripped off his chin into her hair. This was how they spent the remainder of their night; wrapped up in each other. They clung to each other as though the world might tear them apart at any moment.

“Thank you for being with me. I could hear you there with me, feel you with me, everyday. Not just when you were sitting with me but all the time. I can always feel you, and it helped more than I can ever truly tell you.” She whispered to him. She pulled back from where she had been tucked into the crook of his neck to look at him and felt a hard pull in her chest. And then a resounding snap.

Azriel gasped audibly as he stared down at her, wide eyed. A grin took over his face and he tucked her gently back against him. “I’m so happy I could help you in any small way like you’ve always done for me. And I will continue to be here for you, to love and cherish you always. For however long and any way you’ll have me.” She pulled back from him once more.

And then she smiled at him. Big and bright and stunningly beautiful. She was smiling at him once again.

#azriel x reader #azriel #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acotar fanfiction

729 notes · View notes

sonnetsoncanvas · 9 months

Text

Mess it up : pt 6 (Series Finale)

Summary: Years ago he had let you go for your own good. But this time, he isn’t sure he can

Part of the Mess it up series

Pairing: brother’s best friend rock star Bucky x fem reader (Steve’s sister) (dual pov)

Warnings: MINORS DNI, SMUT AHEAD, masturbation (M ), oral (F receiving), fingering, overstimulation, Dirty talk? Cum play if you squint, possessive bucky.

Inspired by: Mess it up by Gracie Abrams

Notes: WE'RE AT THE END OF THIS SERIES!!! Oh my god I can't believe it. Thank you so, so much for all the love and appreciation you guys have shown to this <3. Thank you for bearing with my tardiness with the updating, I'm planning to be more punctual in the future. I'm also opening the asks shortly. Happy reading! (it's a long one),

Let it happen. Let it happen

Reader POV:

The conversation flowed seamlessly.

The food and the wine were sublime.

In front of you sat a man so beautiful, he surely would have been Aphrodite’s favourite.

And yet, you felt nothing. Not the flutter of a single butterfly, not the warm fuzz of budding attraction. Nothing. Nada.

Your brain did not compute, Pietro was a great guy. Good looking, kind, intellectual. On paper, he was a good, if not a perfect match for you.

And yet you could not feel that connection that your heart had been longing for. The notorious “spark” had been missing during the entire interaction.

You’re just out of practice, your brain reasoned, but your heart had a different opinion, in which you weren’t interested.

Suddenly, the hair at the back of your neck stood up, a warning of sorts. A warning your intuition gave you whenever he was around.

Surreptitiously you tried looking around, while slightly nodding your head to show your interest in whatever Pietro was talking about. A little more to your left…….

There he was. Dressed in leather, eyes dripping with dangerous enigma. Staring at you.

You held his heated gaze for what felt like sometime, your heart jumpstarting in your chest.

What is he doing here? And more importantly, why?

You turned your head back towards Pietro, who hadn’t noticed you were distracted, and tried your best to focus on him.

You had promised yourself while leaving the house that you won’t let Bucky ruin this date for you, and you won’t.

But the date itself went downhill from there. Sitting in front of Pietro, you realised how self-centred and smug he was. What you had clearly misjudged as confidence during your brief meeting, was most obviously narcissism. Not only had he not asked you a single question about yourself, he had rudely butted in whenever you tried to talk, hogging all of the conversation and making it about him.

Frankly, you were irritated. In between the ceaseless yammering from Pietro and Bucky’s heated gaze burning a hole in the back of your head, you were exhausted. By the time dessert arrived, you were ready to go home.

But of course, Mr. Self-absorbed Maximoff wasn’t having it.

“What do you mean you’ll be going home now? The night has just started Y/N. Tell you what, come back to my place, we’ll have a couple of drinks and then we can start having some fun.”

Alright, so being polite isn’t working, time to be direct with him and get this over with.

“I don’t think so Pietro. You’re cool and all, but I honestly do not see anything happening between us, based on today. So, let’s just call it a day, okay?” you had already paid your half of the bill, so you grabbed your bag, ready to leave. But just looking at his face, his male ego had been bruised, and he was ready to give you a piece of his mind.

Great. As if you already didn’t have enough of that all evening.

“Based on today? What are you talking about, we had a great date. Seriously what else do you expect on a first date?! What a waste of an evening! I was saddled with a boring, lacklustre date, a grandma really, and you don’t see me complaining….”

“Men” you thought. You were about to stand up and leave, ready to leave this man to spluttering to himself, when you felt an overbearing presence approach. You immediately knew who it was.

“Is that a way to talk to a lady?” Bucky asked, his voice low and gravelly.

“umm heyyy Bucky? How’s it going?” Pietro was surprised and probably intimidated by him, if you read his face correctly. If he had a bit of self-preservation, he would have left before Bucky would explode, but of course he had to keep talking about how long it’s been since he last saw him to divert his attention.

But the fuming 6ft boulder next to you was having none of that. “Apologise” he commanded, the danger in his voice palpable.

Pietro paled. “I’m sorry, What?”

“If you know what’s good for you, you will apologise to y/n for the way you talked to her, and leave before I kick your sorry ass.”

“How dare you threaten me….” Pietro was now stuttering, standing up to face Bucky, only to have his collar grabbed by the displeased man. The patrons of the bar were now very interested in this exchange, a few of whom had their phones out, recording the ordeal.

You were too tired for this shit, but also you couldn’t leave Bucky here, ready to break your date’s bones.

You tugged his arm to stop him from raining fire at Pietro through his eyes and look at you instead.

“I’m really tired and need a ride home. Drive me back. Please.”

His eyes immediately softened, his rage transforming into tenderness. You tried to ignore your heart going berserk and focus on the crisis at hand.

“Whatever you need, doll”

That endearment had you frozen. It was his nickname for you from years ago, used in secrecy, whispered in dark for your ears only.

The way he said it after so long, unbidden, in front of an audience, had rendered you speechless. You were too stunned to react even as he led you out of the bar by hand, cocooning you away from prying eyes.

Bucky’s POV

Bucky was angry. No, he was furious. Offended.

Not at you. never at you. but at himself. At the shitty situation he was in.

And most of all at Pietro Fucking Maximoff. How dare that son of a bitch talk to you like that. He hated that he left that turd unharmed, his hands still itching to punch that fucker’s smug face. If only it hadn’t been for you.

He looked over at you, lost in your own thoughts in the passenger seat, understandably upset, but also pensive. What would he not give to know what you were thinking.

Did you like Pietro? Were you hoping to get asked out to another date, and he ruined it?

He didn’t dare voice his questions though. As soon as the car stopped you jumped out, slamming the door behind you. normally, Bucky won’t let this slide, but right now the well being of his beloved car was the last thing on his mind as he ran behind you, tossing the keys to the doorman.

He entered the elevator right behind you, but kept his silence as he didn’t want his neighbours in there have a show. As soon as you both entered the apartment, you hurried towards your room, a frantic Bucky in tow.

“Y/N LISTEN TO ME! LET’S TALK ABOUT IT.” He wedged his foot between the door and the frame as you tried to shut it on him. “Y/N HEAR ME OUT FOR GOD’S SAKE!”

Thank goodness Steve and Natasha were sleeping at her place tonight, or that would be another headache to deal with.

He heard you take a deep, calming breath and slowly the door opened.

“Yes, James, what would you like to talk about?” you asked, your eyes burning with rage, “How you crashed the first date I’ve had in years? Or how you viciously threatened a friend of mine, and yours, publicly, with bodily harm?”

You took a step forward, reducing the distance between you even further “Or maybe you can shed some light on why the hell were you there in the first place?”

Bucky remained quiet, a thousand things swirling in his mind, but none of them came to his lips.

He was genuinely scared of this version of you, the menacing lawyer you who’d rip her opposition to shreds. And to be honest, a little turned on. Very turned on in fact.

Trust his brain to malfunction when it comes to you.

“You wanted me to hear you out, I’m listening James.”

Your eyes bore into his, and he could feel his heart trying to escape his chest.

“I was in that Bar to see you, doll.”

Bucky could’ve easily lied, told you that he was there to see someone, that Sam brought him there. But he was done. Done with lying to you, to the world, hiding the love he had for you deep in his heart as if it were a filthy secret when it was the purest thing he ever felt.

From now on, this very moment, he’s shedding that cloak, baring his soul to you.

You looked surprised at his statement but recovered quickly, “Why?”

“Because I didn’t trust that fucker with you. he doesn’t deserve you.”

“And it matters to you, why?”

“Everything you do matters to me. Every breath you take, that air matters to me. Every time you open your eyes, that light matters to me. Each time you speak, that sound matters to me. You matter to me. You’re the only person that has ever mattered to me. Only you doll.” His voice wavered with emotion, but he stood straight, staring right back into your now teary eyes.

He knew you were scared, he could see it in your eyes, but Bucky wasn’t going anywhere. He would endure

You shook your head multiple times before you could speak, “No. no no no no no no, you can’t do this to me again, no. I’m not falling for that again, no. I can’t trust you, there no way to know … no”

You crumbled into him, clutching your heart. He held on to you tightly, even when you started pounding weakly onto his chest. He was never letting you go.

“Let me show you, my love. Let me show you how much I’ve ached for you all these years” he moved back so he could see into your eyes, “Let me show you that you can trust me.”

It started with a small brush of your lips against his. Bucky did not know who did it, he didn’t care. All he cared for was the animalistic desire welling up inside him, his heart and mind screaming with relief. What began as a tender, comforting kiss turned into a fierce war of dominance. You were nothing if not competitive, kissing Bucky back as if he’s your last chance at survival.

He tugged your lower lip; you pulled his hair. You pushed your tongue in his mouth; he tangled it with his.

It was an equal transaction of desperation and longing, and Bucky’s heart rejoiced. You were fighting, not resisting, which meant that you were burnt by the same fire that had consumed him for the past four years.

Your hands wandered down from his hair to his neck to finding the muscles on his back until they reached their destination, the hem of his t-shirt. You impatiently tugged on it, pulling it up his waist. Bucky got the hint, and without thinking, broke the kiss off to get rid of it. And froze.

He was half naked, his chest bare, his magnificent abs on display. But that wasn’t what concerned him. It was the way you were looking at the scars on his left shoulder, the stump where his metal arm was joined to his shoulder socket. Bucky had never cared what anybody thought of it, but seeing you look at it terrified him. What if you were horrified by it; disgusted? What if you thought of him as some charity, as a chore?

Bucky knew he wasn’t good enough for you, but if heard you say it out loud, it would kill him.

You lifted your hand to shoulders, your fingers lightly tracing the ragged lines, that were still red, even after years of medication. Tears rimmed his eyes when you bent down to kiss them, your tongue repeating your finger’s actions. When you raised your head to look at him, full of tenderness and love, all the negative thoughts in Bucky’s head vanished, replaced by reverence for his doll

“Y/N” he whispered.

“Don’t hide yourself Bucky, not from me.” He was too emotional to register that it was your first time calling him Bucky in so many days, but the sound of his name from your mouth aroused a primal, protective, almost violent emotion.

There is no way he is letting you go now. It isn’t physically possible for him.

He grabs you like a frenzied caveman, throwing you onto the bed with surprising gentleness and buries his head in your neck, sucking, biting and licking, ensuring that your neck is marked with his devotion for you. his hand, in the meantime, travelled down to your chest, caressing your breasts. His tongue laved on one nipple, while his metal fingers lightly pinched the other. The opposing hot and cold sensations made you dizzy, a wanton moan slipping out.

“BUCKY” you whined, wriggling your body as he worshipped your breasts.

“Calm down, sugar. You don’t want me tying you down to the bed, now do you?” he said in this sweet, maddeningly low voice that he knew drove you to the brink, and slowly made his way down your body, leaving a trail of kisses. His lush lips were swollen already, but he didn’t care. For years he had starved for your taste, and now that he’s getting a bite, he’s gonna devour you all.

With this new determination he slinks down to your thighs, kissing the scattering of hair on your mound before sinking into that sweet perfection between your legs. He took a deep breath, inhaling your arousal, your whines growing more insistent, begging and pleading him to do something, anything about the burning craving in your belly.

“You’re fucking soaked for me doll.” He said, gliding his fingers through your slit, collecting your dripping arousal . He couldn’t resist putting his fingers into his mouth, tasting that sweet tangy essence of your desire. He moaned, loud , as if it was the most delicious this his tongue had ever tasted.

You looked on, your eyes dazed by this shameless side of the well mannered Bucky Barnes. It had been so fucking long since you’d seen him this uninhibited, you sometimes wondered whether it was your brain making up how filthy he used to be.

But right here, right now, was the truth. James Buchanan Barnes was the filthiest, nastiest lover ever, and he was about to ruin you, again.

He slowly licked your slit, relishing in the feel of it. And then, after a calm second, pounced on your pussy like a mad man.

He kissed and sucked your clit, his flesh hand busy with your pussy while his metal one curled around your thigh, spreading it wide and keeping you still. His index finger slowly inching in your tight entrance. His brain short circuited at the feel of you around his finger, his cock throbbing painfully at the thought of being in you.

“Look at you doll, so tight, so wet. I’d have to stretch you out now, don’t I?” He added another finger, scissoring them inside you, earning a particularly loud moan from you. Bucky was sure by this time he had rendered you to your cockdrunk state. It was a thing you did, retreating to your subspace as he drew out pleasure from your body.

The thought that you still trusted him him enough to leave your guard down like this drove him crazy. “You want more baby?” he implored, digging his metal fingers in your skin so that you’d become lucid enough to answer him, but you were too far gone, lost in the sensations of him.

Just then an idea hit him, he extracted wet warm fingers from your pussy, eliciting a cute whine from you, and switched hands, pushing his metal fingers past your entrance.

The unfamiliar feel and cold temperature of the metal jerked you out of your haze, a surprised welp coming out of your mouth as he smirked, bending down to give you a messy kiss. He kept bombarding your mouth, nose and cheeks with sweet open-mouthed kisses, just as he increased the pace of his fingers pumping into you faster and harder, curving them to brush your G-spot in a way he had learned to years ago. His thumb rubbing cool slow circles on your clit.

Unbeknownst to you, Bucky was rutting on your thigh, his still clothed cock dripping with pre-cum, finding sweet relief while hem focused on your shivering, writhing body. He knew by the intensity of your moans and the clenching of your pussy that you were close, you just needed something extra to tip you over the edge. And boy, did Bucky know how to do that.

He knelt back to your pussy, lightly taking your clit between his teeth while his tongue swirled on it. It was enough to push you over the edge, and you screamed out as a powerful orgasm ripped through you. Bucky didn’t let go though, doing it over and over again even as your pussy was convulsing around his fingers, until you came again with a frightening intensity.

Reader’s POV

You’d almost passed out, unaware of your surroundings, unaware that Bucky was jerking himself off as you lay there, the sight of you bare and blissfully satisfied more than enough for him to chase his own release. You’d closed your eyes, ready for a much-needed sleep, when you dimly registered his loud moan and a warm spurt on your abdomen. You drifted to your dreams with him whispering in your ears, of how much he loves you, of how he’ll never let you go, of how he’ll bring the world to your feet, if you let him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your eyes fluttered open to harsh sunlight seeping from the window. You tried to keep them closed, to stay in that heavenly state for a little bit more before the reality comes crashing in. but when you finally couldn’t, your heart started palpitating with realization.

You were naked, nestled comfortably in Bucky’s arm, who naked as well, gloriously so. Last night came rushing back to you, of how he make you cum so many times on his face and fingers, how he came so filthily on you then. How he woke you up in the middle of the night just to kiss you again, make promises with his tongue and fingers.

Fuck ! you were screwed. The only way your brain could function normally right now was if you put some distance between the two of you.

You tried to pry yourself from his arm, hot and heavy over your waist, his warm breath coming down the back of your neck. This is the thing that you have craved the most all these years, the peaceful home in his arms, the comfort of knowing that there’s a place in this world where you can be soft and fragile.

But can you, really?

Wasn’t all the pain and heartache you’ve suffered because you were weak, vulnerable, breakable, for him?

There no fucking way you’ll allow that to happen, not when the life you have sleeplessly worked towards is finally within your reach, you will not squander it over this man, not again, not when he didn’t care about the first time around.

With some difficulty you’re able to get out of his hold, only for him to whine adorably in his sleep. Quickly you pull down his discarded black T-shirt over your head. Since the both of you were in your room, you had to be super quiet about getting your bag, which had a few of your necessities, most importantly your laptop. You crept in the washroom and the adjoining closet, collected your toiletries and clothes as quietly as you could and stuffed them in there. You’d care about orderliness later.

But right when you thought you could tiptoe you way out of this mess, He is awake, sitting against the headrest, the pout on his sleep mussed face betraying his displeasure.

“You sneaking out on me Doll?” His husky morning voice melting your inside, before you tamp it down.

“I have to….leave. Something came up” You lie through your teeth, too flustered to even make it convincing enough.

“I wonder what exactly could be so urgent that required you to leave the bed without a word, and pack your bag, all in a span of five minutes?” His eyebrow arched, guilt streaming your mind. You’d definitely be hurt if it was him doing the same, but how could you stay? In the same room, the same bed with the same man who’d once ruined you. Sure, the past few days were beautiful, your heart alive with hope.

But the fear of him crushing it was too overwhelming. Overwhelming enough for you to let your mask out stoicism slip, baring your terrified self to him.

“I can’t do this Bucky” you said quietly, your voice breaking as you were at the edge of tears.

Within a second, he was there, holding you as you broke down, finally letting your years of supressed angst and heartbreak pour out in front of your culprit. It was cathartic, painful, relieving and sickening.

He held you through it, as you cried, as you hit him on his chest multiple times. When the sobs stops quaking your body, you finally turned to see his tears, his eyes and nose reddened, his face scrunched in pain.

“Let me make it better, Baby.” He pleaded. “Give me one chance and I will make it better my sweet girl. Let it happen.”

Your wounded heart whimpered, deep down knowing that his was the only salve that will soothe it. the words “Yes, I will” were sitting on the tip of your tongue, but years of hurt and insecurity made you sceptical. What happens when you give in to him? What happens when his discards you again? when your relationship has lost its novelty?

“Loving you was difficult Bucky. The secrets we kept, the lies we told, it was super challenging. But learning to unlove you? that has to be the toughest damn thing I’ve ever had to do. I have been trying to do just that for the past four years. And I’ve still not succeeded. Don’t make it more difficult. Please Bucky.” A few more sobs whacked you as you tried to get away from, death grip on your bag as you slowly turned towards the door.

“We can forget that this ever happened. I’ll go to San Francisco; I’ll handle Steve too. You can go on with your life and I will go with mine.” You repeated the same words he had told you all those years ago. You cursed your voice for quivering, as you prepared yourself to leave him, once again.

Bucky stood up straight, rubbing the tears from his face. His voice had recovered its timbre as he spoke, “You wanna go Doll? Fine. Go. You can go to San Francisco, to London, Fuck it baby, you can go to the fucking arctic. Go wherever, but there ain’t no way I’m forgetting this. Us. And I sure as hell won’t let you forget. Because I’ll follow you, all ‘round the Earth if that’s what it takes to earn you again.” He took a step towards you, his eyes burning with passion and determination. “I’ll leave all of this, everything, I’ll leave my name if I have to, but I’m not backing off, not when I know that you crave this as much as I do.”

“If you don’t have the courage to take the leap, that’s okay baby. Cause I will dive in, just for you.”

“Why?” Its all you could muster up.

“Because a life without you my love, is not a life worth living.”

Taglist: @kandis-mom @queerqueenlynn @mayusenpai666 @nothingbettertosay81 @hisredheadedgoddess28 @loustan90 @zannemes @cjand10 @stuffyownswrld @sebastiansstanswhore

@superduckmilkshake @hisredheadedgoddess28 @nothingbettertosay81 @meheki

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagines #bucky angst #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky headcanon #bucky imagine #bucky smut #bucky x female reader #steve and bucky #bucky x reader #bucky barns #bucky fluff #fanfic #avengers fandom

152 notes · View notes

probablynotasquid · 1 year

Text

a guiding hand

(sagau mini series that i only have one part of i might make more but for now enjoy some mond lol)

PART 1—Mondstadt

The night was far from young. A comfortable silence had settled in the Angel’s Share tavern following the exit of its usual gaggle of jolly drunkards, leaving only a few stragglers in its wake. The two remaining patrons sat at the lantern-lit bar, nursing their respective drinks as the bartender tid up after another busy evening.

Kaeya and Rosaria often drank together, chatting about nothing and everything. The more serious conversations seemed to spark in the dead of night, after a few pints of whatever they decided to order that night and once the majority of people had called it a night.

“Random question, but have you been feeling… weird urges, lately?”

Diluc wasn’t even supposed to be working the bar that evening. He had plans to check out a suspicious hilichurl camp just south of Springvale until Charles came to him with a reasonable enough excuse to miss his shift. Nobody else was available as their own hours had been agreed upon and scheduled a week in advance, and thus he elected himself to step in for the night. He could deal with his vigilante side hustle some other night.

His interest was immediately piqued by Kaeya’s murmur. He almost didn’t catch it, focused mainly on his own thoughts. The tavern was so quiet, though, that the sudden question seemed to pierce through the air like an arrow. His hands stopped for a moment as he pondered the question that wasn’t really intended for him.

Rosaria scoffed, lifting her drink to her lips. “Weird urges? Can’t say I have.”

Kaeya sighed, more out of exhaustion rather than disappointment at the curt answer. He didn’t know what he was expecting, really. It wasn’t exactly a normal thing to ask—in fact, the wording was a bit questionable, now that he thinks about it. The fiery stare that burned into him made him realise his mistake. Looking up to Diluc, he saw his brother’s scarlet eyes trained on what he perceived to be a possible threat to Mondstadt.

“That’s not what I meant,” he muttered, firm and defensive. He knew their relationship was strained at best, but that moment was what affirmed just how little Diluc trusted him. Kaeya ignored the dull needle that pricked his heart and turned back to Rosaria, who was decidedly unaffected by the exchange. “You’ve never felt a pull to walk to a very specific, random location? To pick up materials you have no use for, nor will to actually keep?”

“Sounds like depression,” the nun retorted, unconvinced.

“Does depression make you challenge domains for artifacts you can’t use?”

“Probably.”

Kaeya sighed again, this time out of frustration. Maybe he was just depressed. Maybe it was a consequence of his Khaenri’ahn ancestry, and he was cursed to go mad. He ran his hand through his loose locks as he shifted his gaze to the bar, and the half-empty glass in his slack grip.

Rosaria, on the other hand, felt conflicted. She had been, in fact, finding herself gathering local specialties that she had no use for. She didn’t even notice their presence in the landscape until she felt them in her unusually gentle grip. It was as if she didn’t want to damage whatever it was she had picked up, but no matter how long she racked her brain for a subconscious reason she may have to collect it, she came up short.

They always disappeared after a few days or so.

A soft clink of glass against glass drew the two’s attention up to the bartender. Diluc had replaced the cup he was cleaning back in its rightful place on the shelf, and proceeded to lean up against the bar.

“What sort of places?”

The question seemed both perfectly in character—if he had been interrogating the captain. In a way, he was, yet the slightest twitch in his brow revealed an underlying curiosity completely separate from his suspicions towards his brother.

Kaeya’s brow raised. “I don’t know, anywhere. It’s random.”

“Be specific.”

“I just said that it’s random.”

“Give an example, then.” Kaeya huffed.

“Fine, I… I went to Wolfendom the other day. It was like my feet had a mind of their own. Without realising, I had picked up an armful of wolfhook.”

Diluc eased off the bar and crossed his arms. He had heard drunken mutterings from some of the other Knights of Favonius about Kaeya’s little excursion. They complained half-heartedly about the captain wandering off in the middle of his workday, only to return with a bunch of berries, of all things. When asked about it, he simply avoided the real question with a charismatic and non-committal response.

At the time, Diluc thought it was just his brother’s usual flightiness. Hearing his side of the story, though, had his mind reeling with questions.

“What happened to them?” Rosaria spoke up this time. The direction this conversation seemed to be going in was beginning to concern her.

“I placed them in a drawer until I could move them, but when I checked, they had vanished,” Kaeya admitted. “I know it sounds unlikely—”

“I travelled to Windrise a while back,” Diluc interrupted. He ignored Kaeya’s weak glare. “I felt compelled to stand on one of the stones for a moment, then to pick a couple windwheel asters. I placed them in a vase, but the next morning, that was the only evidence that I even had them in the first place.”

Even the Master Diluc? Kaeya and Rosaria shared a glance, both of their expressions quite similarly reflecting their confusion and unease.

There was a pregnant pause, then. Nobody knew how to continue. They had all had similar experiences, strange as they were—it was far too convenient to be a coincidence.

“We need more information.”

—

The next morning found Kaeya on his way to the library. The conversation from the previous evening had yet to release him from its grasp. He wasn’t alone, he wasn’t going mad, there actually was something odd going on with him and other people. Not knowing where else to go, he decided on the library. He had some free time that morning anyway. Perhaps he could ask Lisa about it. She was more than qualified to answer his questions, he believed wholeheartedly. If she even had the answers.

He strode through the doorway with conviction and headed immediately to the desk. Lisa, as expected, was sat behind it, tiredly flipping through a thick but plain-looking hardcover. She glanced up to see Kaeya’s normally flippant face twisted slightly with preoccupation, but he offered her a light smile nevertheless.

“Good morning, Lisa.” Even his voice sounded a bit strained. That was rare.

“Good morning, Kaeya. I wasn’t expecting to see you today. Is something the matter?”

And so he recounted the conversation that had been fogging his mind like the clouds over Dragonspine. Lisa listened intently, the book long discarded onto her desk. Her expression was quite the unreadable one as she took in the information. She thought for a moment, then spoke again.

“I’ve never heard of anything of the sort. How long has this been going on?”

It was different for all three of them, he tells her, but he remembers the first time he experienced it; in the Temple of the Wolf. During the mission to save Mondstadt from Stormterror’s fury. He thought nothing of it at the time, brushing it off as intuition. But it kept coming. Once, his stride broke suddenly, and the sudden urge to change course flooded his muscles. He frequently found himself unthinkingly reaching for the strangest of things. An inexplicable, irresistible impulse that just appeared one day and never truly left.

The witch simply nodded and thought. She wasn’t lying when she said she had never come across something like this before, even during her extensive study at the Akademiya. However, the more Kaeya relayed to her, the more questions and theories arose. Where was the urge coming from? Why was it so difficult to resist? Who all was it affecting?

Why was it affecting her?

She found herself relating to Kaeya’s confession about his time in the Temple of the Wolf. In her own slice of that same mission, a similar ‘intuitive force’ had overtaken her, guiding her and the Traveller through the puzzles and such with ease. She had felt it rarely afterwards, but on occasion, she felt compelled to take a nice long walk to Stormbearer Peak. It was very out of character for a languid woman such as herself.

This was obviously a bigger issue than she had first deemed it. Not only was the cavalry captain experiencing it, but Sister Rosaria and Master Diluc as well. What was the correlation?

“I’ll see what I can find,” she said after a few long moments, “but I doubt it’ll be much, if anything at all.”

Soon enough, Kaeya is out back the way he came, slightly less stressed about the matter at hand, and Lisa is left once again to her own devices. Her gaze was drawn to the book she had been skimming when the captain had first stepped in. She’d have to finish it some other time, she supposed, summoning a piece of parchment and a quill to begin her research.

— — —

indeed i have returned to give you a single part of that series i was talking about literal months ago and have since kind of given up on but i felt bad for not posting anything for a while

school got busy and writing got harder but hopefully i can explore some other regions with this concept as well bc i think its kinda fun and interesting, i’ve started the liyue installation and have a general plan so we’ll see if it actually gets posted lol

#something actually self aware about sagau that involves them realising theyre not in full control #genshin impact #genshin #sagau #self aware genshin #genshin x reader

317 notes · View notes

jdeclerc · 7 months

Text

under autumn's moon

pairing: lucien x reader

summary: having watched you overwork yourself for weeks, Lucien wants nothing more than to spend time with you, even if it is just for one night.

author's note: i may not be a Lucien girl, but my dear friend is, so this one's for her - k, i hope this makes you smile <3

warnings: smut, wrapped in a wonderfully fluffy bow

word count: 3,561

From his position at Y/N’s study door, Lucien can tell that the female has been there much too long. The light from the setting sun is casting shadows across your face, accentuating the fatigue lining your exquisite features.

Over the past weeks he could count the number of times he had spoken more than three sentences with you at a time, on one hand. There had been no late-night talks about each other’s days, no hours-long strolls through the woods surrounding the Forest House.

He missed the sound of your laugh, your lazy smile as you awoke at first light, and, by the Cauldron, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could go without the feeling of your bare skin under his.

It is the change in his scent as his thoughts venture further into the impure that has you finally looking up, and the tired smile that crosses your face has his heart breaking.

“I think it’s time you take a break, my spark.”

A shake of your head precedes your response.

“I can’t Luce, I just…I can’t.” You throw your hands up in frustration. “I have communications from what seems like every court to respond to, I’m finishing the revisions for our new trade agreement with Day, and now I’m working with Eris to finalize the expansion of our healer apprenticeship program.”

Lucien pushes off the door frame, moving to lean both hands on the chair opposite your desk. He can’t help the anger that laces his voice in that moment, taking a breath before his next words.

“My brother must know how much work lays on your desk and he has the audacity to add something else?! Let me have words with him and I swear to you –”

“He didn’t ask Lucien, I volunteered to help him. He tried to refuse me, and I persisted.”

“I should have known.” He shoots you a grin. “I have always loved your inability to let those you love walk alone.”

“For everything he’s done for Autumn and how hard he works, it’s the least I could do.”

“And you would provide him better help if you took time for yourself. I can’t remember the last time we dined together, and by the number of times I’ve awoken to cold sheets next to me, I know you haven’t been sleeping as much as you need.”

You can’t seem to meet Lucien’s eye and he can see the tears brimming in yours. He rounds your desk, taking the underside of your jaw in his hands and titling your head to look up at him.

“No tears, my love. I can’t begin to describe how proud I am to call you mine. I voice my concerns because it breaks my heart to see you hurt, in any way.”

You lean your head into Lucien’s hand and place yours on top of where it rests.

“It’s not you Luce, I’m tired and my brain is as foggy as the woods at first light.”

“Then please, come with me. I promise it’ll help.” You give him a questioning look and he places his free hand over his heart. “No more than a few hours, I swear.”

You pause for a moment before giving him a small nod, a smile ghosting over your lips.

He reaches out a hand for one of yours, helping you stand from your desk. He tightens his grip on your jaw and leans into you.

Lucien’s lips meet yours and it’s as though the world falls away. The kiss is slow, patient, the both of you savouring the moment.

The two of you break apart and Lucien smiles down at you.

He slips his arm around your waist and gestures toward the open study door.

“Shall we, my love? An adventure awaits us.”

You can’t help but laugh at the mischievous grin he gives you; the male always having been the more spontaneous of the two of you.

----------

As you entered the court stables you immediately see that the horses you both called your own are saddled and at the ready.

“Lucien Vanserra, you are one confident male. How did you possibly know that I would agree to your plans?”

He once again gives you a grin, adding a wink alongside it.

“Call it lover’s intuition, spark.”

You laugh as you approach your mount, running a loving hand along the side of her face.

A specimen of beauty. Pure black but for the mare’s hooves and the streaks winding through her mane, both the deep golden colour that accentuates the Autumn Court’s traditional attire. A gift from Lucien on the first of your name days the two of you had spent together.

Lucien had named her Flint, “just what his spark needed to light the world on fire” he had said. The two of you formed a bond like no other.

You lean you head into the mare’s.

“How I’ve missed you, my girl.”

Flint leans her head into yours, showing she has missed you in equal measure.

“I’ve been taking her out myself, she wanted to be ready for when you returned to her.”

You gave Lucien an appreciative smile as you put your foot in the stirrup and swing your leg. You adjust yourself, settling into the saddle like the second home it is.

“Am I going to have to slow myself down? Let you ease back into it?”

“I’m sure you would enjoy that Vanserra, but you know better than that. Do your best to keep up, won’t you?”

You don’t wait for Lucien’s reply as you take off. You burst from the stable, not willing to wait any longer to feel the cold air rush past you and the freedom of feeling as though you are flying.

---------

You slow Flint to a walk as you reach a clearing in the trees and approach the lookout over the woods surrounding the Forest House.

“I’ll never get tired of this, of home.” Lucien stops beside you, admiring the lands he so desperately missed in the years of his exile.

“No words can quite do its beauty justice.”

“No…no they cannot.”

The tone of his voice has you turning to look at him, finding him already looking in your direction. You can’t help the blush that crosses your cheeks.

“As much as I love this view, this isn’t the place I had in mind for our evening adventure.”

You raise a brow in question.

“Then, by all means, lead the way.”

You gesture for him to go, knowing that whatever he has planned will be spectacular.

Lucien turns and takes off once more, you quickly follow behind.

--------

Lucien comes to a stop in front a thick sheet of hanging vines and dismounts from his horse. He motions for you to do the same. He extends his hand, taking Flint’s reins from you and tying both horses to the tree that sits nearby. He grabs a snack for both from his saddlebag before making his way back over to you.

Putting a hand on your lower back, Lucien leads you to stand in front of the vines. As he lifts them, the air is stolen from your lungs at the sight before you.

The moonlight shines into the clearing through the opening in the trees overhead, its light casting an ethereal glow over the rippling pool at its centre.

The only sound that can be heard is the stream that feeds the pool, as though the outside world has fallen away. The moss that covers the forest floor is soft beneath your feet and is accentuated by the wildflowers growing between the rocks scattered around the clearing.

You feel Lucien’s chest against your back as he comes to stand behind you, wrapping his arms around you. You lay both your hands overtop his where they land on your waist.

You can’t bring yourself to speak above a whisper, not wanting to disturb the peace that resides here.

“How did you ever find this place?”

“I came upon it a fortnight ago and have been dreaming about bringing you here since.” Lucien kisses you at the joining of your neck and shoulder, marking a path upward until his lips rest against your ear. “The water is quite warm…perfect for a late-night swim.

He moves his hands beneath your tunic, trailing them across your skin. You feel him lean away from you as he gathers the hem in his hands and lifts the garment. You raise your arms and can’t help the shiver that runs over you as the night air hits your bare chest.

You hear your tunic hit the ground as Lucien brings his body flush to yours once more. His hands move to the laces of your trousers, untying them with well-practiced precision. You can hear him sink to his knees behind you. He unzips your riding boots, gently lifting each of your feet before removing them. Lucien works your trousers over your hips, and you step forward, out of them as they reach your ankles, leaving you bare.

You turn around, meeting Lucien’s darkening eyes.

“There truly are no words.”

Without a word you step closer to him, pulling him to stand. You bring your hand to rest on his jaw, his hands coming to encircle your waist once more.

You lean into him, you lips ghosting over his ear.

“Your turn my love.”

You smile at him as you step away. You can feel his eyes trailing you as you step into the pool. The warm water a stark contrast to the crisp night air.

As you reach the middle of the pool, you turn and find that Lucien has not moved.

It’s the desire you know is evident on your face and the change in your scent that has him raising his own shirt above his head and making quick work of his trousers.

You rake your eyes over his broad form, the planes of muscle littered with the scars that tell the story of his upbringing.

Your eyes catch on the tattoo that rests on his left hip and a smile crosses your face, the design perfectly aligning with the one that runs up your right hip. The two of you had gotten them done on the day you committed yourselves to each other. The design a perfect melding of the Autumn and Day Courts, your original birthplace.

As Lucien enters the pool, his eyes don’t leave yours.

He meets you in the middle, grabbing your hands and bringing them around his neck. His arms encircle your waist, pulling you impossibly close, his forehead coming to rest against yours.

“Luce…I’m so sorry.” Your hands take hold on either side of his neck, and you lean back enough to meet his eye. “I’ve missed you every day these past weeks.”

You voice breaks with the end of your sentence. Lucien wipes away the singular tear that escapes.

“Please, my love. You owe me no apology. I fell in love with your dedication to your work long ago and have admired it ever since. Believe me when I say I know it is your work pulling you away from me, and nothing more.”

“I’ve taken on extra work, by choice. It is my own decision-making that has put us both in this position.”

“Whether given to you or taken on by your own actions does not matter. It does not make it any easier to carry. You are allowed to feel the stress and exhaustion, allowed to be affected by it. And should anyone tell you differently, you send them to me, and I will live up to the infamy of my last name. Promise?”

You let out a small laugh as you nod at his words, knowing he truly means every one.

“I’m not sure what I ever did to deserve a male as extraordinary as yourself. I will never stop thanking the Mother for bringing you to me.”

“We walked through a lifetime of pain before coming together. I like to believe that you are finally a gift, the Mother admitting she has put us through enough.”

It’s not often that the two of you speak of your romantic pasts, the pain still evident to this day. You, having lost your mate to the first Great War, watching as she was cut down by Hybern’s forces. And Lucien, who’s mate cleaved herself from him with no thought or remorse, never giving the male a second thought.

Lucien’s words were right, the two of you had fought long and hard to be able to live in the happiness you found in one another.

“I love you, Lucien.”

“And I love you, my spark.”

He closes the distance and kisses you, pulling you so every part of him is against every part of you. His hands roam your body as the kiss turns desperate, hungry.

Lucien’s lips move to your neck, finding the spot that has you letting out a gasp.

His hands skim your hips, and he wraps them around your thighs, lifting you into his arms. You hook your ankles around his waist as he moves you backwards, setting you on the edge of the pool.

Lucien’s lips return to your own as he grips your thighs to spread them further, pushing himself against you. You can’t help the small moan that escapes as you feel just how much Lucien had missed you.

“How I’ve missed that sound.”

His hands skim up your sides. His thumbs brush across your nipples, the night air having turned them to stiff peaks. Lucien’s lips join his hands, his teeth nipping at each of your breasts in turn. He straightens and runs his hands over the marks he created; an artist admiring his latest work.

Lucien’s gaze meets yours as his left hand grips your waist and his right moves down your front with a featherlight touch. His eyes don’t leave yours as he runs two fingers through your folds, your eyes closing and mouth falling slightly open at the feeling.

“And you’ve missed that, haven’t you?” His fingers begin circling your clit, eliciting a small whine from your lips. “You wonderfully insatiable female. I’ve barely touched you and you’re falling apart. Tell me Y/N, who else has this effect on you?”

“No…no one Luce.” Your words come out as more of a breath as Lucien sinks two fingers into you, them curling in just the right way.

“That’s my good girl, you’re mine and only mine.”

He quickens his pace, your moans becoming more desperate. You bite your lip to quiet them. Lucien’s hand moves from your waist to your jaw and his thumb pulls your bottom lip free.

“None of that. I’ve waited too long to hear you fall apart, let me hear you Y/N.”

Your hips begin to lift, meeting Lucien’s hand at every stroke. Your hands tighten their grip on either side of his neck, the both of you knowing you’re quickly barrelling toward an edge.

Lucien suddenly pulls his hand from you and the sound that falls from your lips is almost painful, your peak only moments out of reach.

“Lucien…” Your voice holds a warning.

“I need to feel you Y/N. The only way you’re cumming is wrapped around my cock. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir.”

If anyone but Lucien had heard the desperation in your voice you would have been embarrassed. His commanding words in these moments never failed to cause heat to rush through you, never failing to turn you to malleable clay in his hands.

As you feel him position himself, and push into you the slightest bit, your eyes fall closed once more.

Lucien’s hand comes to grasp the front of your throat, his grip tightening just enough to cause you to look at him.

“Eyes on me. I want to see you fall apart on my cock. I want to watch the very moment I become the only thing that exists for you in this world.”

You manage to nod in response.

Lucien’s pushes into you at a painfully slow pace, as though he is refamiliarizing himself with the feeling of being inside you. He pauses once he’s fully seated within you.

“You are a needy thing, clenching around me already.”

He pulls most of the way out of you before setting a burning pace, his hips meeting yours almost painfully with each thrust. After weeks of not being with each other, the way Lucien is stretching you is intoxicating.

Lucien’s thumb moves to your clit as your moans become louder, the male knowing exactly what you need to reach your peak.

Your orgasm crashes over you like a wave from the ocean, the look in Lucien’s eyes as he watches you only intensifying the feeling. His hand moves to your waist, but his thrusts slow only marginally, carrying you through each and every aftershock.

“That’s it, spark. Give me everything.”

His movements stop after a few moments, his cock still buried inside you.

“Luce, you didn’t –”

“I didn’t, but are you telling me you’re done? That you can’t handle anymore?” He begins to pull out of you as he speaks.

Your ankles tighten around his waist, halting his movements. You thread your hands into the hair at the nape of his neck and pull him toward you, your lips meet his in a searing kiss.

“I can handle anything you give me Vanserra, I want it all.”

He’s still smiling as his lips meet yours again and he begins to move. Lucien sets a slower pace than before but slides you closer to the pool’s edge, allowing him to reach deeper, hitting a spot inside you that has you gasping each time his hips meet yours.

It doesn’t take long for both of your breaths to become laboured. You can’t help your arms wrapping around Lucien’s shoulders, nails scraping his back as you cling to him.

His hands take hold of your thighs in a bruising grip. This time it’s he who can’t help the groans that pass his lips.

“You were made for me Y/N, so fucking perfect…you’re taking me so well. I can feel that you’re close. Are you going to cum for me love? Grip me so tight, have me fill you up. Is that what you want?”

“Yes…Lucien…please –” Your words are cut off as he brings his hand back to your clit.

Lucien captures your lips with his, swallowing your cry as you cum. You break away, needing the air as he doesn’t stop his movements on your clit.

It takes only a moment for him to find his own release, a cry of his own coming out of him as he buries his face in you neck. His thrusts become begin to falter and the sound of both of your release combining has you choking back a moan.

You bring your hand to rest on the back of his head as he slows his movements. Neither of you speak at he stills, basking in the feelings still coursing through you both.

Without a word and without pulling out of you, Lucien picks you up and moves you both back into the centre of the pool. He lowers until only your chests are above the water and Lucien begins to gently sway back and forth.

He meets your eye with a searching gaze.

“How are you feeling?”

“A little sore.” You can see the concern instantly cover his expression and you are quick to correct any assumption he made. “In the best way possible, I promise. I wouldn’t trade tonight for anything.”

You pour all of the love you have for Lucien into the kiss you give him. It doesn’t turn desperate as it did earlier, you both relish in the love that exists between you for several minutes.

It’s Lucien who breaks from you first.

“I promised to only steal you away for a few hours, I should be getting you back to your study.”

You pick up on the sadness that laces his tone, your thumb brushing along his jaw.

“I think I can step away for one night…I want to wake up with you Lucien, I want you to make love to me as the sun floats through our bedroom windows.”

He kisses you once more.

“I would love nothing more.” He brushes his nose against yours. “Shall we head back to the Forest House?”

“Not right now…can we stay here for a while longer?”

“We can do anything you’d like, my love.”

“Thank you…for everything. Thank you for being understanding, for always standing by my side.”

“I will always be here. Always.”

“I love you, Lucien.”

“I love you Y/N, more than you could ever know.”

You smile at him before resting your head on his shoulder.

The two of you fall silent. The movement of the water as Lucien continues to sway is the only sound that makes its way into the clearing.

For the first time in weeks your thoughts aren’t filled with a checklist of your endless duties. Your mind is calm.

You think only of the love between you and the male holding you.

You allow that love to bring you peace. Silently vowing to never again lose sight of the gift that is having Lucien Vanserra in your life.

#lucien x reader #lucien vanserra #lucien #acotar #acotar x reader #autumn court

57 notes · View notes

starry-nights12 · 5 months

Text

One Word Prompt (Jinx Diary)

────

It was supposed to be a really nice night.

Ekko had visited me in my room. We lay on my bed, my head on his chest, and he wrapped his strong arm around my waist.

We held hands and talked about everything and nothing. We pretended the crystals hanging from my ceiling were stars.

I winded up the music box and we listened to that. The circular lightbulb spun around and reflected on the colorful crystals inside like a little dance.

I love it so much.

It's the first gift Ekko gave to me as his friend.

He assured me that we could be happy. We can make more pleasant memories together moving forward.

It's precious to me. It's my own treasure from a kind, loving, and caring man. If there was any doubt that I had a crush on him, that morning would prove it. ♡

I listened to his steady breathing and his heartbeat as he eventually fell asleep.

It always stared at me and I stared back.

The stuffed bunny is nailed above my desk next to my small memorial for my brothers and Dads.

It watched me grow up when she

I shouldn't think about her.

────

I wasn't able to sleep last night.

Even when I'm cuddling with Ekko, I couldn't get comfortable. I was thinking about her when I shouldn't be. I tried not to but it's hard sometimes. I didn't want to.

So, I focused my attention on Ekko. I stayed up and watched him all night.

He looked so peaceful sleeping and I didn't want to wake him. I thought about how beautiful his personality was and how that made him more attractive.

I thought about how he wasn't a liar. He would never turn his back on me or betray me like she did.

The sunrised and its light peaked through the curtain.

The soft sunlight outlined his body and made his rich, dark brown skin almost glowed. His silver loc cuffs glinted prettily around white dreads.

He's stunning. Breathtakingly beautiful. There's no one else to compare him to. I can stare at him forever and ever. ♡

He opened his warm brown eyes at me and my smile was instant. "Mornin', Sleeping Beauty."

He smiled back at me softly. "Morning, pretty girl," he mumbled all sleepily.

It was a slow and lazy kiss but my heart fluttered and I felt sparks igniting like fireworks on my lips.

I felt warm and soft all over. He was mine and I was his. ♡

Adina and the others are making breakfast today. I told him I'd be down in a minute.

I was content.

I was loved unconditionally.

I was happy with the secret, little life I made.

At times like this, I wonder what Vi was up to.

It was a stupid thing to do.

She's cuddling with that demon while they smile and giggle as they plot my demise. How they're excited to throw me in Stillwater and the different ways I'll be murdered.

I can't even enjoy my morning with Little Man. Even when they're not here they RUIN EVERYTHING!

How can Caitlyn be more important than me? I'm her SISTER. Or at least I WAS until she made her final choice.

It could have been the three of us. Me, Vi, and Ekko. We could have all been happy and together instead of drifting apart.

She used to love me. I wished she still did but she made her choice.

But I killed our family and ruined all our lives. She's disgusted with me.

I miss her.

Miss Sis?

What's to miss???

There's nothing to reminisce except her fist turning me into this while she lives her life in bliss.

I needed her and she punched me.

SHE LEFT ME AGAIN.

I'm NEVER good enough for her. I'LL NEVER BE. She's DEAD to me.

Mylo was right.

She cares about that Enforcer more than me. I KNOW IT.

I DON'T WANT HER.

I DON'T NEED HER!

I DON'T.

I DON'T!!!

My Ekko is perfect. He's an angel.♡

He stayed. For now

He's all I have left.

He promised to always love me.

He's not like her.

He's all I need and wanted.

I love you, Ekko.

Always♡

#timebomb #ekkojinx #ekko x jinx #jinx x ekko #firelight jinx au #arcane #fanfic request #anon #ask #my writing #my post #tumblr would NOT let me edit this??? That's why it's a screenshot instead

41 notes · View notes

kinardscoffee · 2 months

Text

Can't sleep, and my mind is swirling with thoughts.

Major one is that the relationships that Buck and Eddie were in at the end of last season are clearly doomed to fail.

Every relationship for both of them, connected to an emergency call, has done so thus far.

Under the cut because she's long.

For Buck:

We have Abby.

They first "met" via a 911 call over the phone. The home invasion incident where Buck used the fire truck to pinpoint the location of the home. He had the siren on which perhaps was a foreshadowing that their relationship would ultimately have alarm bells going off in everyone's head (just maybe not Buck's until it was too late).

They meet face to face for the first time when Abby's mom goes missing. They also save a little girl from electrocution. Possibly indicating that something will always be missing in their relationship and also that they do have a spark between them, although it is most likely more one-sided.

And then, of course, we have the train derailment. Buck and Abby are reunited but not in the way Buck would have hoped. He is derailed from the knowledge that Abby has a fiance and it is evident that their relationship was ultimately a train wreck.

There's Ali.

Met during the earthquake. Their relationship seemed more casual and easy-going. Though, while they were dating, Buck moved into his own apartment. Earthquake... moving... moved into a new building... it's a reach, but still.

Then there was the bomb on the firetruck, and Buck was pinned beneath the truck, crushing his ankle/lower leg. Ultimately, their relationship crumbled due to the dangers and uncertainties of Buck's job.

And Taylor.

They met when Taylor's helicopter lost control. Which is perfect for them because everything about their relationship was a bit out of control. That relationship was nothing but lies and broken promises, two things that can only lead to crashing and burning.

I'm adding Lucy...

Just because they met on the bomb in the truck rescue. And them kissing helped blow up Buck and Taylor's relationship.

Natalia....

They met when a car crashed into a funeral. Like, need I say more?? Okay, I will.

This relationship will end quickly, and most likely, they won't even see it coming. So, I'm guessing that Natalia gets a job opportunity far away or she just can't deal with decisions that Buck makes...

Things could also end really bad for Natalia. Maybe a health scare or even death itself. Either way, I don't see her being around.

For Eddie:

Shannon.

We don't know how they met. So it's harder to include her, but she's important.

Shannon is still connected with a call, a car crash, and unfortunately, she doesn't make it. Which is oddly similar to Buck and Natalia. The only difference is that Buck and Natalia meet through the car crash and bond over death, and Eddie and Shannon end with a car crash after bonding over their past and the life they've lived.

Ana.

Now, I know what you're thinking... "But Eddie met Ana at Christopher's school" and you're right.

BUT...

They didn't get together until AFTER the emergency calls with the imposter fireman, which Ana did need assistance for a burn.

In this relationship, Ana got "burned" pretty bad in the break-up. And, just like that guy impersonating a firefighter, Ana, Eddie, and Chris were all impersonating a family unit.

But, I also believe this metaphor leans more so towards Eddie himself. He's constantly impersonating who others want him to be. This stems from his childhood and the way his father placed so much on his shoulders.

This is why I believe that Eddie struggles with his sexuality and why we'll know about him before anyone else.

Marisol.

Granted, not really a girlfriend, I suppose, but with the way the S6 ended with them, she has to be included.

Eddie met Marisol during a call at her home, where she has been busy with DIY projects.

Her brother gets trapped/buried alive/almost suffocated in her attic.

Isn't it telling that Eddie decided to ask Marisol out? He DIY'd it. He did it himself. But, ultimately, he will feel trapped in this relationship. Like Marisol is suffocating him with the relationship.

Obviously, I could be completely off-base here. Perhaps I'm inhaling fumes from all this clown paint... but, idk, what do you think?

#it's fun to be crazy #911 spoilers #911 fandom #evan buckley #911 speculation #buddie #eddie diaz #911 abc

37 notes · View notes

acopenhagenarmy · 7 months

Text

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM

Pairing: Y/N x Any idol you love

Fluff and angst - non idol au

Wordcount: 1400 ish

Warnings: None

Summary: You had once broken his heart, you promised that you wouldn't do that ever again. Can you keep it this time around?

Note: This is based off a dream I had last night. It's heartbreaking, and I'm therefore using it as my free therapy session. - You can insert whoever in the place of our leading man, personally I feel like Jungkook is fitting the overall description. But if you want it to be San, Jay, Minguy or maybe even Yoongi, feel free to do so.

You stood there in a kitchen surrounded by people laughing, talking and having fun. It felt like being surrounded by family, even though you couldn’t quite place why that was, because none of these people's faces seemed like those of people you knew.

Or that was at least until you spotted him, you knew exactly who he was but he looked right through you. His eyes never met yours and it broke your heart.

You knew you deserved it. You had not treated him well. You had broken his heart and never thought of him again. But being so close to him was torture, and you suddenly couldn’t remember why you'd ever let him go.

He walked towards you, and said a small: “excuse me” as he passed. It was like he was deliberately trying not to touch you, as if he would burst into flames if he did.

Your body had reacted before your mind had a chance to stop it, and you reached out and grabbed his hand.

The mere skin to skin contact was enough for both of your breaths to hitch. He towered over you, his dark hair looked like he had just rolled out of bed. But it had always been your favorite look on him. After all, the two of you had spent most of your time together there.

You could see how he desperately tried to blink away the tears that his eyes threatened to spill.

“Y/N…” he said. But it was nothing more than a whisper, and you were confident that no one else had heard him.

You took his other hand in yours, and saw how he shut his eyes closed, with a pained expression on his face. How did I ever let him go? You thought to yourself.

You guided his arms around your waist, and forced him to hold you in his arms.

“Oh god, please don’t…” He said, this time a little louder, but still not loud enough for people to notice what was going on between the two of you.

“I’m so sorry” You whispered, and the pained expression were quickly traded in for one of surprice. “I’m so so sorry, I should’ve never left you”

You were close to him now, and could basically feel the frantic beating of his heart.

“Do-don’t say things you might regret” he answered as his eyes searched yours for the slightest hint of deception.

You just shook your head. “It has always been you, I’ve just been too stupid to notice it before now”

“Are you sure?” His arms were now holding you on their own. You had forgotten how safe he had always felt. He felt like home.

“I’m sure” you said and raised your hand to his cheek. He instantly leaned into you as he released a breath.

You couldn’t help yourself, and before you knew it your lips were crashed into his, and your hands were in his hair as he himself pulled you closer to him.

As you finally came up for air, the two of you could do nothing else but stare at one another and laugh at this whole situation.

God you had missed that sound. You had missed that familiar spark in his eyes whenever he looked at you.

“Promise me you wont leave me like that ever again”

“I promise”

He gave you a peck and sent a smirk your way. “Good”

Before you knew it, you were sitting next to him on a couch in the living room, one of his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close.

“God I can't believe you’re the one” A girl said as she looked at the two of you. “My brother and my best friend… You could’ve told me, you know?”

“Honestly? I had no idea he was your brother, we just met and hit it off I guess” You looked up at him, and he couldn’t help but smile before he placed a rather long kiss on your forehead.

She shook her head. “He told me about you, you know. The gorgeous woman who worked in STEM that broke his heart… It’s not something that really happens to him”

It was more a statement than anything else. She wanted you to know that you had hurt him.

You could do nothing but nod.

“I know… Would you believe me if I said I didn’t mean too?”

She shrugged.

“Calm down sis, everything is okay now. I got her back and that makes me happy, so just, let me enjoy this. Okay?”

“Okay”

The conversation continued, and as the day became night, the two of you got more and more entangled in each other.

You spent most of your days together. You met his parents and were introduced as his girlfriend. At no point did you regret taking his hand that day, in fact you’d fallen more and more in love with him for every day that passed.

He spoiled you with food, flowers and gifts. You spend the days waking up to him and his ruffled hair that you loved so much.

And as time went on he opened more and more up to you. He was an influencer, and you’d never expect to be with someone in that profession and enjoying it.

He kept you somewhat secret from the world, the two of you had decided that it would be best to stay in your bubble for a little while longer. But you helped him with his content, and as time went on he shared more and more of your lives together.

He shared datenights, and how he was typically seated between your legs as he played playstation and you read a book.

You were one soul, separated into two people, who had finally found each other. And those around you thought you were a little too smitten with one another, and they kept warning you that people usually had to burst that ‘new romance bubble’ at one point.

But somehow it just never happened for the two of you. You could talk about your day to day life, lay in silence and just study each other's faces, you could cry as you opened up about past traumas, and you made love whenever you felt like it. It was perfect, the two of you together were perfect.

At one point you were filming out on the terrace of his parents house. Sun going down behind him, and him wearing nothing but shorts and sneakers. He looked beautiful in that golden light.

He waved at you, and you waved back. Revealing nothing but your manicured hand to his viewers.

“You look beautiful darling” He said and sent a smile your way and your only response was to laugh.

And then you felt it. You weren’t one to pass out, and it didn’t feel like you were about to. But something changed in that exact moment, and you couldn’t quite figure out why. And when you would, it would already be too late.

He saw how your smile dropped in an instant, how your eyes panicked and instantly found his.

“Y/N…?” You could hear the desperation in his voice.

“Promise me you’ll find me out there” It was all you could muster to get out, it was all you said before you saw him running towards you. And then everything went black.

When you woke up, the darkness were still surrounding you. You were just laying there eyes closed for a few minutes as you tried your best to recall his features. But all you remembered were the hair, the hands and the feeling of him. The rest of him were a blur. You couldn’t even remember his name.

You found your phone in the bed. 06:45 it read.

It felt like you had lost someone precious, it felt like you had lost your heart, and in its stead were now a black hole filled with nothing but emptiness and pain.

You had no idea how to get started with this day, it felt like you should stay home and mourn the loss of him.

Maybe he remembers, maybe he will find me out here… you thought.

But how could he? He was after all only a figment of your imagination, he was after all only a character in your dream. But he felt real, and you could do nothing but hope that someone would ever love you as much and as unconditionally as he had.

#bts #bts fanfic #bts fluff #seventeen fluff #enhypen fluff #stray kids fanfic #enhypen angst #bts soulmate au #bts angst #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #svt #mingyu x reader #heesung x reader #san x reader #vernon x reader #seventeen angst #stray kids angst #kpop fanfic

41 notes · View notes

dear-wonderland · 3 months

Text

Chapter 1

‘Is this love?’

Kenji Kishimoto x reader

Your the adopted daughter of the Supreme Commander Anderson, you were brought in at a young age due to your intelligence when it came to tinkering with machines. Now you are know as Aaron's right hand, someone to be feared, creating all sorts of weapons for the Reestablishment, over time you have learned to keep your emotions in check and hardly ever smile... but what happens when an annoyingly cute new soldier is constantly trying to get your attention? Will your emotions start to spark again? Or will this mess of a world shatter your love story until it becomes nothing but a lost dream. Only time will tell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t know what time it was or how long I had been down here and honestly I didn’t care.

I was mindlessly tinkering with whatever I could find trying to cure my boredom, lately that seems like all I do, wake up, eat, work, and sleep, it feels like my life is constantly repeating itself, nothing ever changes, I feel like I’m slowly losing my god damn mind…

With a sigh I put down my equipment as I look at the Ak-47 I was building, I get up from my seat as I stretch looking at my surroundings, I was currently in my workshop, a giant room located under the main building in sector 45.

I take a quick look at my many projects, from pistols to tanks I have fixed and improved them all, of course I’m not the only person working in this section, but I am the one who fixes the things that no one else can, in other words I am irreplaceable to this sector, something I have worked my ass off to accomplish, Anderson might have taken me in but that doesn’t mean I got any special treatment I know damn well if I am to fail at my job I won’t go unpunished, that man has always been good at keeping everyone in there place.

I am quickly snapped out of my thoughts when I hear knocking at the door

“come in!” I say,

a soldier steps into the room

“good afternoon Miss (l/n)” the soldier gives a quick bow as a sign of respect

“Is there something you need?” I ask, the soldier was quick to answer my question,

“Sir Warner has called for you”

“has he now… for what purpose?”

“to welcome the new recruits Miss, he wants you to be ready in 8 hours”

this answer surprised me, I didn’t expect to welcome recruits so soon after the last bunch,

“very well, tell him I’ll be there”

the soldier gave one last bow as he left the room, it was quiet for a while before I decided to go to my private chambers, ‘I should probably prepare…’

—————————

After a shower I dressed into elegant clothes, just like Aaron I enjoyed looking presentable, especially when it came to important matters, I tidied up my hair as I gave myself one last look in the mirror.

After assuring myself that everything was in place I walk towards the location in which the assembly is taking place, I spotted Aaron waiting for me in the hall, once I approached him he gave me a small nod and walked into the auditorium, i quickly followed behind him.

I looked around the room towards the thousands of men, Aaron quickly found his place in front of the podium as I took my place next to him.

While he started to give his welcome speech I took the opportunity to give a closer look at the soldiers trying my best to memorize all the new faces, none of the soldiers where looking at me all to focused on the speech my brother was giving,

that was until i made eye contact with one particular man catching me a bit off guard, the man had a defined jawline and eyes as pitch-black as his hair,

for a second i wasn’t quite sure how to react so i sort of just froze, the man noticed this and i realized that he started smirking at my reaction, this pissed me off, ‘just who does this guy think he is?’,

a threw him a glare, there was no way I was going to let this guy look so damn smug for absolutely no apparent reason, unfortunately he didn’t look to intimidated by my stare and his smile only grew bigger, ‘fuck this guy!’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally chapter 1 is out! I’ll try and make the next chapters a little longer but first I wanted to get the introduction out of the way!

#kenji kishimoto #x reader #kenji kishimoto x reader #fanfic

33 notes · View notes

darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 11 months

Text

Quiet as a Mouse

Epilogue for Sweet Treats AU: by character | chronological | epilogues

Warnings: these drabbles will include dark elements such as noncon, control, intimidation, and other stuff that may not be specified. Take this as you chance to scroll by.

Note: here we go.

Please let me know what you think <3

🧁🧁🧁

"Come, pet," Thor stands by the large white Cadillac, waiting, watching.

You look at your bag in his hand but nothing else. His thick fingers and calloused knuckles betray the strength contained within. His size speaks of the brutality he harbours. His inhumanity disguised by that charming smile and the gentle lilt of his booming tones.

You pass him without acknowledgement. He follows, closely. As close as ever. He smothers you as he always does. The sort of suffocating presence you've come to despise.

He says your father was bad. That he was overprotective and possessive. So what does that make him?

You didn't used to think like this. You saw the best in the world, in your world, as small it was before him. You don't like the vastness he's brought into it. The uncertainty.

"I think my sister-by-law shall be happy to see you. Wish I could say the same of my brother," he chuckles as you climb the curved steps to the large ebony doors. "He barely seem enthused to see myself."

Still, nothing. You haven't spoke a word in the longest time. Not even sang in your lonesome. You don't have the spirit for it, nor the energy to give to him. He's taken everything and somehow expects more.

You stand before the doors and stare. Thor reaches above you and clangs the large silver knocker. You wait without apprehension. You are eager to see darling again but that usual spark cannot be lit.

The door opens to reveal your host. Loki stands smoothing his hair with one hand as his other retreats to his dark green tie. He fixes it as he clears his throat.

"Brother, sister," he nods to Thor before pecking your cheek politely, "you're late."

"Late? You said anytime, brother," Thor rebuffs as he gestures you inside.

"Well, I've been waiting rather long so late you are."

You enter and step to the side, swaying with folded hands as you look around the foyer. Nothing much has changed but for the large portrait hung from the wall. A hand-painted vision of Loki and his new wife. The men chatter but you do not hear them, you haven't the mind for their vague insults. How can they be so vicious to each other when all you ever wanted was a brother or sister? Anyone to be your friend.

"I suppose you are impatient to see my wife," Loki recalls your presence and faces you, "I'm certain you can smell her preparations already," he waves a hand in the air, "she oft takes court in the kitchen if you care to join her." He turns back to his brother, "and I shall get you to your rooms so you might settle in."

You dip your head in thanks, a quick signal of your gratitude missed by your uncaring host. You cross the patterned marble as the men depart in the opposite direction. You hear the oven shut as you near the kitchen, and you listen by the frame.

You peek around the wooden trim and watch Darling as she sets the timer. She lingers by the stove and peers through the window. A sudden buoyancy overcomes you. You feel so much lighter.

You hop through the door, your soles slapping on the floor. She flinches and turns to you. She smiles, unaware of the smear of lipstick across her cheek. You run to her, clamouring around the island to wrap your arms around her. She lets you, her reticence as always keeps her stoic and rigid.

You pull apart and look at her, tilting your head as you signal to her cheek. She frowns in confusion and reaches her hand up to touch the stain. She tuts as she examines the pigment on her fingertips.

"Ah, yes, I... must've messed it without realising," she shakes her head at herself, going to a drawer to pull out a cloth and wipe her face.

You notice how her necklace is askew above her collarbone and the front of her wrap dress is crooked. She catches your observation and sighs, dropping her hands to her side.

"Or maybe he did," she confesses in defeat.

You move your hands to assure her that it's okay. You don't judge her. You love her! Is that strawberry?

She concentrates on your fingers and nods slowly. It takes her a moment.

"I'm still learning," she says, "so... you judge me and you want strawberries?"

You smile bigger and mime a laugh. She lets humour curve her lips and tucks the cloth into her apron pocket.

"Yes, strawberry meringue, just like I promised."

#thor #dark thor #dark!thor #thor x reader #thor x muffin #dark!fic #drabble #drabble series #series #au #sweet treats #mcu #marvel #avengers

109 notes · View notes

ladycatofwinterfell · 3 months

Text

What is owed, and what is not

Summary: When weeks pass without Ned coming to her at night Catelyn can’t keep herself from imagining him with another woman. He already has a bastard, after all, and their marriage was far from a love match. Who is she to fault him for wanting someone else?

Day 4 of @nedcatweek : “It’s okay, you don’t have to love me”

It had been more than three weeks since he last came to her at night. Three weeks since they last coupled, three weeks since he last shared her bed, three weeks since he came to her chamber.

Catelyn could not say it did not bother her. It truly did. All through the days she was occupied with thinking about why he would not come to her. He had taken to sharing her bed most every night a very long time ago; only occasionally did they sleep in separate beds. Then suddenly he had disappeared.

She had not dared ask him about it as she was afraid for what answer she would get. Still it was apparent to her why he had abandoned her, she merely didn’t want to hear him say it. It would hurt so terribly to hear him say it. She had also not gone to him as she knew she wasn’t wanted. If he had wanted her he would have come.

During the days he seemed most the same as before. He was sweet and kind to her, he was still the Ned she had come to know since their wedding in Riverrun. Even as she had his company during the day she had grown lonely. She missed his warm presence at her side, she missed talking to him before falling asleep, and she missed receiving a kiss in the morning. She felt pathetic as she missed him and then did it all the same.

Their marriage was as far from a love match as one could get. They had been wed because his brother had died before she had time to wed him. It had been war, the times had been grim and dark. Yet something ached in her at his absence. It grew larger with every passing day.

Ned had no obligations to her that he was not fulfilling. He treated her well, he had given her children, she ran his castle and he had never undermined her position as his lady. All that and he had a bastard son. A son he had brought with him to Winterfell out of love for his mother. What other reason was there? Why would he have taken the boy to be raised among his trueborn children if not because of the mother? A mother Ned had loved, a mother that was not Catelyn.

Jon’s mother was far away, whoever she was. The woman that kept Ned occupied elsewhere was someone new. Someone in Winterfell. Catelyn had little idea of who it was. Even as she looked around, tried to see which women spoke with Ned and his reaction, she saw nothing. She heard nothing, as well. No one whispered of Lord Stark and a woman that wasn’t his lady. But there had to be a woman. Why would he have stopped coming to her if not because he had found someone else? Someone he liked better.

That other woman was most likely prettier. Maybe her body had not been changed by carrying children. Maybe she was sweet and young and said everything he wanted to hear. Catelyn had not taken Ned for that sort of man. Though he was a man. Men had needs and desires.

Perhaps she should have adjusted herself to it, but as she sat there on her bed it felt the same as it had two weeks past. Her chamber was silent, her bed was empty, her heart longed for company. She was being stupid. The sooner she found acceptance in it the better. She had become much too attached to her husband.

With a sigh she looked over on the other side of the bed. The side she had come to think of as Ned’s side. She could no longer sleep in the middle of the beden when she was alone because that made it feel like she was intruding on his side.

There was a knock on the door and it opened before she had time to respond. Against her wish there was a spark of anger in her chest when Ned became visible.

“So now you’re here?” she said, sharper than intended.

Catelyn had no right to be angry, she was well aware of that. And yet she was. Yet she looked at him and felt anger at that he had been so very sweet to her, spent night upon night with his arms around her, only to suddenly abandon her.

“Is the hour too late?” Ned asked. “Forgive me, if that is so.”

He had yet to close the door behind him, remained with his hand on the handle.

“If the hour is too late?”

The hour and the day and the week were all too late. Did he not realise it himself? Could he not do her the courtesy of not pretending everything was as it had always been?

“I was in my solar until just now, I might have lost track of time.”

She left her place on the bed, stood up. Without looking at him she walked over to him, reached behind him and used one hand to push the door closed. He let go of the door handle only after the door was already closed.

They were so close to one another she could feel his breath on her face when she looked up at him. Though she made no move to kiss him and let her arms remain at her sides. He must have sensed her sour mood, because he did nothing. Merely looked at her.

“Have I done something to upset you?” he said slowly.

All she could do was sigh. Gods, he was stupid.

She had to turn around and take a few steps away, create distance between them.

“My lady?”

That time there was worry in his voice.

“It has been almost a moon’s turn since you shared my bed” she said, unable to keep it away any longer.

Why push it to the future? Why not talk about it then and there? It would hurt no matter when the subject was discussed.

“Has it?”

She couldn’t see his face, but he heard his surprise. Genuine surprise. How much of his thought and time did that other woman not own if he had not even realised it had been that long since he last spent a night with his wife? How much of his heart did she hold?

“Three weeks and three days. That’s four-and-twenty days.”

She had began counting when she realised it had been five days. Then she had not expected to count as far as she had. As it was she had began dreading the day she would know how many days there would be in the end.

“Forgive me.”

Even as she was angry she knew she had little right to be. He owed her nothing. He had given her all he was expected to give, she was not supposed to have any complaints. She was acting in an undignified manner and it was terribly hard to stop.

She turned to face him once more, took a deep breath to calm herself. The turmoil in her head and the fury in her chest remained, though she managed to collect herself enough to keep her voice calm.

“There is nothing to forgive, my lord.”

His eyebrows shot up at that.

“Yet I have clearly caused you upset” he said.

Catelyn clasped her hands in front of her and straightened her back. Did her best to look dignified even as she wanted to scream.

“I have little right to be upset. You have done your duty to me, you owe me nothing more.”

The words struggled against her, though she managed to say them all. They were the truth. She hated her heart for not realising that, for making her feel anger and sadness. She had been taught better than so, she knew better than so.

“What do you mean by that, my lady?” he asked.

“I mean that you don’t have to share my bed, you have given me children already. Only one son, though he is healthy and strong. You can be with whoever your heart desires.”

Robb would make a fine lord one day. And his two sisters would make fine ladies. A son and two daughters, that were as many children as Catelyn’s father had.

By the time she had finished speaking Ned seemed even more confused. How could not understand? She was allowing him his other love. Not that she had to allow anything. She was only his wife.

“Come again?”

“We did not wed for love, you don’t owe me love.”

That her voice broke on the last word did not help. Not in the least.

She sighed at her own stupidity. There was more anger than sadness in her and yet her eyes were tearing. She didn’t want them to. She would rather be angry with him.

“What do the circumstances of our wedding have to do with this?” Ned said.

Then she could not hold herself together anymore.

“I am telling you that it’s okay, you don’t have to love me.”

Ned opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it again. He merely looked at her as she continued her struggle against the tears. How pathetic she felt.

“I must admit I still don’t quite understand” Ned said slowly after having finally gathered his thoughts. “Though there is no other woman. If that was your… accusation.”

“Oh don’t lie to me” she exclaimed, exasperated. “You don’t have to, I understand.”

Denial did not make it better. She knew there was someone else, him lying about it did not change that.

“I’m telling the truth, Catelyn.”

“But you are not.”

The ache in her chest was so great and yet she felt so small. She was a small woman when she stood there before him and wanted nothing but for him to confess the truth. He needed not lie to her, she understood. It hurt, though she understood. And she would not beg for his love.

Ned had once again gone silent and Catelyn found that she couldn’t quite tell what he was thinking. At first she believed she saw pity, then sadness, then a shade of anger and in the end he sighed.

“I don’t know what to say in order to make you see that all of this is imagined, but I can say that I don’t want anyone but you.”

“Why would you want me?”

He snorted then.

“Why would I not want you?”

There were a thousand reasons, could be not see that himself?

“Perhaps you have grown bored of me. Perhaps you don’t like how the children have changed my body. Perhaps you think me to be ugly. Perhaps you have realised you simply do not like me. Perhaps some other woman has drawn your eye. Perhaps–“

He had walked over to her as she talked and when he took both of her hands she found herself unable to keep speaking. She looked down at the floor but let him hold her hands even as a small part of her wished to draw away from him.

“There is no other woman that has drawn my eye and I do like you” he said firmly. “What makes you think otherwise?”

There was a hint of annoyance in his voice. Catelyn wondered why. Who was he to be annoyed?

“You were gone for four-and-twenty days!” she told him, looking up at him.

“I was unaware of that it was of such importance to you.”

She had been unaware of that it was of such little importance to him. She had truly believed he enjoyed it, that he came to her because he wanted to. It had not always been so, but it had become that way.

“Have you shared my bed solely for my sake?”

Her attempt at hiding the hurt in her voice most likely failed. There would be no dignity left for her after that night.

“No, I share your bed because I want to. It merely had not occurred to me that you wanted it so much.”

Had it not become obvious after Balon Greyjoy rebelled? From the way she had been with him whenever possible, from the way she had sought him out whenever she could. Though it had been mutual. For a time after his return he would rarely be away from her for more than perhaps an hour at a time.

“So it has been four-and-twenty days since you last wished for my company?” she questioned.

Ned looked away for a moment and when his gaze returned to her face his face was almost stern.

“No, it has apparently been four-and-twenty days since I without intention woke you in the darkest hour of the night because I was dreaming.”

When he said it she could recall it having happened that night, but she had not paid it much mind. He had been moving around because of his dreams and it had woken her up. It was not the first time it had happened, she had soothed him into stillness many times before. Held him until his dreams were easier. He knew she had. And she did not mind, she wanted to ease his struggles in any way she could. No matter what those struggles were.

”What does that have to do with anything?” she could not help but ask.

”I thought it better to stay away until the dreams got better again.”

”And now you’re sleeping well?”

Ned seemed to age at least ten years at that question. He looked tired to the bone. As if it truly had been four-and-twenty days since he last had a night of proper rest.

”Now it struck me that it has been a while since we last made an attempt at a child. Though I did not realise it had been this long.”

Catelyn released her hands from his grip and instead put them on his bearded cheeks, cupping his face. She looked into his eyes, saw the exhaustion that resided there. How could she not have seen it earlier?

”Eddard Stark, I have little doubt of that you are the stupidest man I have ever known” she said softly. ”And I have known many stupid men.”

”What have I done to make myself deserving of such an honour?” Ned scoffed.

”The dreams get better when you’re with me and yet you drew away, disappeared without telling me why.”

He had decency enough to look ashamed at that.

”You should not have to endure that” he said in a low voice.

”It’s not a thing I endure, Ned. I want to help you, I want to make things better for you.”

He deserved someone to help him in his hardships and she wished to be that someone. They were companions, why not be it in every sense?

She ran her thumbs over his cheekbones, watched him soften at that.

”It is my burden” he still insisted, as he had many times before.

”And your burdens are my burdens. That was declared many years ago.”

In other words, perhaps, though the meaning was the same. They were meant to endure hardships together.

Gently she bent his head down so that she could kiss his forehead. Her stupid husband and his stupid bad dreams.

“Would you stay with me this night?” she asked.

“If you would have me.”

“Of course I would have you.”

The anger had faded, she knew he had told her the truth. There was relief in knowing why he had been gone and guilt over feeling relief because of his troubled dreams. He had been struggling and she was happier for that than she would have been to know he had found joy elsewhere. That was not what a good wife should have felt.

Catelyn sat in the bed while she waited for him to undress so that he could join her. Watched him take off his clothes and fold them.

“Did you truly think there was another woman?” Ned asked suddenly.

He had his back to her she could not see his face. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking from his voice.

“You never chose me, Ned. It would have been understandable if you wanted someone that wasn’t forced upon you.”

The circumstances of their very short betrothal had not allowed for him to do anything but step into Riverrun’s sept in Brandon’s place. Had he not accepted it her father would have never given them his men and that would have cost them too much. Perhaps it would have lost them the war.

“And you never chose me.”

There was truth to that. She had had even less of a choice regarding their wedding. The difference was that she would never get to choose anyone else. She would not have chosen anyone but him had she been allowed to, though that did not change that he could take a lover and she could not.

“I choose you now” she said.

Always and forever, she had little doubt about that.

“And I choose you.”

He still had his back to her, did not turn around to face her. Therefore he could not see the small smile that appeared on her face when she heard his words.

#nedcatweek2024 #catelyn stark #catelyn tully #ned stark #ned x cat #my fic

22 notes · View notes

memoriapraeteritorumbonorum · 9 months

Note

Hi! 💕

Can i request a Maedhros x female elf reader angst fic?

Thank you 💗

Ambar - Maedhros x reader

Word count: 1.5K

Tags: Angst, character death.

Summary: Maitimo's fate catches up to him at last, and there is nothing left to be done.

Author's note: Ambar (Quenya), meaning fate or doom. I had goosebumps writing this. Enjoy!🥀

"Where is he?" You were out of breath, almost every ounce of strength left inside you had been spent, desperately searching for him. Maglor’s eyes were wide, gleaming with fear. You did not miss his hand, burned and blistered.

So they had found them.

"Where is he, Makalaurë?" Your gaze shifted behind the singer’s figure and immediately, your heart sank. There he stood. Alone, dangerously close to the edge.

"Maitimo!" You yelled. Anyone would have felt relieved to be reunited with their lover, but something inside of you told you this was no time to feel relief, or any positive emotion, in fact. Something horrible was upon you all, and you knew it. You felt it in your spirit which was intertwined with his — a terrifying premonition was beginning to settle into your bones.

His face was wet with tears, twisted into an agonizing expression. Red hair sticking to his sweaty face, the fire in his remorseful eyes seemed to be stronger than ever, or maybe it was just the crimson sparks flying all around you that made it seem that way. There was a terrible turmoil raging in him. He was a vision in flames, beautiful, even in his demise. It tore your heart in the most woeful of ways when you realized what was about to happen. Panic was beginning to gnaw at you, growing worse by the second. You felt your knees grow weak. It could not end like this.

His brows were furrowed, scars on his once gentle features enlightened by the flames below. He winced at his blistered hand growing redder until the smell of burning flesh was strong in the air. But he didn’t let go. He clutched the jewel, bringing it to his chest with a pained expression. You could tell he was trying his hardest to stand straight — in a way, he was fighting for what was left of his dignity to be able to take a last stand before you — however, the pain made him hunch over the closer he brought the Silmaril to his heart, surrendering to his father’s forsaken oath. He was crumbling. Everything he had lived, fostered and practiced was falling to pieces before you.

"Mai," you begged "Maitimo, my love, please." Your voice was distorted, strained from the cries you were fighting to be able to speak to him.

The memory of his happy face flashed before your eyes — skin unharmed and clear, blue eyes kind, merciful and full of love. Of hope. He used to be hopeful, determined to make things right, to keep the memory of his father alive. You found yourself searching for that spark, only to be met with nothing. It frightened you how dull his eyes were. How dejected and empty they seemed. Unrecognizable, even. How the fire in his spirit seemed to be going out. This was it. You locked in a stare with him, too stunned to say anything else, for the tears and his state of being had robbed you of your capacity to form a coherent sentence. He seemed so far away. So helpless. You tried taking a step towards him, beckoning him to come closer, only to be met with more tears streaming down his dirty skin, carving rivers into the grime that had accumulated on his hollow cheeks. He shook his head.

No.

"I’m sorry. I love you. Please, close your eyes."

Those were last words he uttered before he released a breath he had seemed to be holding forever. Only this time, something new was shining in his eyes — acceptance. There appeared to be one sole way to rid himself of this pain and you both knew it. This burden had accompanied him for what seemed like an eternity, only for all of you to realize it had been in vain.

For the only remaining testimony of his father’s existence and brilliance to reject him. His brothers. Each of their deaths, their suffering. Everything they had done, for nothing. Maitimo turned towards the edge of the chasm, not looking back.

No.

The last glimpse you caught of your One were his tangled copper locks blowing in the wind, for a protective hand was cast over your glossy eyes from behind, just before you could witness the inevitable.

No, Eru.

Maglor’s arms around your waist were the only thing holding you back from jumping after him. Your wails ripped through the thick air so loudly, any living creature in the farthest of realms would have shuddered at the sheer terror they carried. You screamed and cried like never before, because now, you felt it. The scorching pain shot through you relentlessly, as though you were the one going up in flames.

He was burning.

He was burning and there was nothing you could do about it.

It felt like your heart was being torn out of your chest. Like Morgoth himself was opening your ribcage to rip it out as a souvenir of his malicious deeds, delighting in your torment. You were pulled against Maglor, locked in place no matter how hard you tried to escape. All you could see were flames. The scenery in front of you was eerily contorted and flimmering, partly because of your tears, partly because of the searing heat that was all around you. You found yourself reaching out towards the edge, praying he would float back up into your arms. It felt as though you were no longer in your own body. Your arms suddenly seemed much longer and Maitimo only seemed to stray further away. You felt your connection to his spirit weaken at an alarming rate.

His fëa was vanishing.

The security you had fostered for the last century was slipping from your fingers all at once. Your companionship and his vow to always stay by your side were now becoming nothing but a broken promise, a soon to be memory. All you could do was squirm in his brother’s iron arms, limbs flailing around aimlessly.

You didn’t feel Maglor’s grip on you. You didn’t feel him pulling you close. You didn’t feel your throat growing hoarse from all the screaming, wailing, crying — hopelessly trying to hold on to the last whiff of Maitimo’s spirit. Only when he forcefully turned you away from the abyss to face him did it break over you. And when it did, you found yourself clawing at his hair, his shoulders, his face. Anything to keep you here, to keep you grounded. His arms enveloped your shaking form so very tightly as to remind you that he was here with you. That he was in just as much pain. That he had lost Maitimo in the same way that you had.

But you needed him. Eru, you needed him here with you.

Craning your sore neck towards the sky, you let out a cry, channeling all of your hurt and the last ounce of your strength into a plea:

"Have you no mercy? After everything he has suffered! Eru, if you hear me, give me a sign! Any.. Anything," you finally sank to your knees, falling into the last remaining prince’s frame — knowing there would be no sign coming your way. Not after everything they had done.

"Please…Bring him back.." Your breaths were shallow, the burning sensation of your One’s cruel fate still vividly inside of you, stripping you of any power you had left.

The last fragment of Maitimo’s fëa had thus faded from within you. He was removed from your soul for all of eternity. There was no chance of reuniting, for Mandos would not grant it. He was gone. Your One was gone.

And only now did his voice echo inside your head, warning you about how you were risking everything, throwing away any prospects of a happy, promising life if you decided to court him. Warning you about the Oath. How it would loom over you until the end of time, reminding you to let go of any hopes of settling. You had been naive, thinking it wouldn’t catch up to you eventually. Maitimo’s love and partnership had not only clouded your mind but also encouraged you to put off the thought process about your life post-quest. Just what were you to do? He had told you from the very beginning that there would be no chance of a happy ending for you. How could you ever believe your love would shield him from this burden, keep him safe and sound in your embrace and forget about his duty. About his brothers and their unfulfilled lives. Lives that had been stolen and fates that had been cruelly sealed the day they had made this horrible vow.

Maitimo had never been yours, no matter how many times he had declared it to you. No matter how deeply he had loved and cherished you, held you close to his heart. You had simply forgotten because there was nothing you would ever want more than him. There was nothing your soul burned for more. Nobody. And only now that he had been taken from you did it catch up to you at last.

He was his father’s son, after all.

#maedhros x reader #maedhros imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #oneshot #angst #angst no comfort #maitimo #request

41 notes · View notes