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selkiefinalist · 5 months

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for director's cut: you promised not to write me an essay about nate's complicated relationship to his selkie heritage, but if I asked you to write me that essay??? If you aren't up for that, talk to me about your ej/sid ficlet because I, too, have thoughts and feelings and brainworms about two first overalls who went on two very different trajectories and also nathan mackinnon was there. -patrichornkissed

@patrichornkissed i do this for you even though you know i struggle to articulate things well. but if we are going to talk about nate’s complicated relationship to his selkie heritage (in that fic anyway), then i think we have to talk about it in terms of control, vulnerability, sameness, and tradition; and how sometimes nate wants all of those things, and sometimes he wants some of them, but most of them he doesn’t want to want at all. and at least a part of that fic is nate letting himself want.

control is a theme that’s so central to how i write nate, because this is a man who has built up so much lore about controlling his own destiny. changed his training! changed his diet! changed his therapist/therapy! he’s an outcome-based individual, and he can be pretty ruthless (in terms of his own soft-wants) when pursuing what i’ll call a hard-want. no euphemism intended. like, he will ignore the soft animal of his body if it means getting that big silver cup, you know. and the thing about being a selkie is that, at its mythological core, selkies are always in danger of giving up control of their lives. someone steals your skin and you can’t find it: game over. your life is no longer your own. of course in our modern era, that’s no longer such a threat - so instead i translated that into a physical need. he needs to change periodically in order to stay healthy; his biology requires that he face his selkie nature. he can’t cut it off entirely and continue to perform the way he wants to as a player. and he hates that, being betrayed by his own biology. i think you can see that in how he forces himself through the change, when he could let it happen more organically/naturally - he’s like, this is gonna hurt but let’s just get it over with, pain is temporary. and you know i love setting up that kind of life approach because it informs his choice to go all-in on ej even when he knows from the outset that it’s likely not going to turn out the way he wants it to.

that segues into vulnerability, i think, because nate has to change - and, even though the likelihood of someone stealing his skin and trapping him in that salt-scoured shack by the seashore or whatever is very small, it still exists. any time he’s changing, any time his skin is exposed. there’s risk. i played around with the ending scenes a bit in the original outlining, and one of the versions of the end that just didn’t fit anymore by the time i actually made it there was a scene where ej steals nate’s skin in CA, and nate lets him. like, it was implicit that ej would give it back if nate wanted him to, but nate was like, ‘keep it, it’s safe in your hands.’ not to mention the moments where he’s actually changing, naked and in so much pain on a dark beach. not an elegant moment, not the way you want your partner to see you when you’re trying to seem sexy and cool! but he gives that to ej from the very first beach scene - just hands himself over. and at that point, ej definitely doesn’t know what that gesture means - i don’t think nate does, fully, either - but i am here to tell you that gabe wasn’t gently draping blankets over nate or tucking his own hat over nate’s cold little ears, and nate definitely wouldn’t have let him. it might be fun to write that scene, actually (“fun,” lol, punch me in the face please) - from a previous season, gabe taking him out. just to see the differences! of course i told you this already, but that progression of car scenes and beach scenes, and having to painstakingly layer in growing intimacy until we get to that vancouver beach where nate’s like “you should watch me,” and ej finally does. tricky to execute but i do think i did okay with that. MY POINT IS, clear to me from the beginning that nate really wants that vulnerability - he literally gives ej shit about not looking at him in the first scene - even if he hates the implications of being vulnerable. he’s seeking it out from ej specifically because he trusts him not to use it against him. WAAH

sameness is really just in relation to hockey culture; nate’s not the only selkie in the league or the only two-natured, but the league enforces certain privacy standards not just to protect players but to keep that otherness from making any one player stand out too much. all nhl hockey players, at least to some degree, have to buy into that homogenous presentation. and for nate, the chips are already stacked a bit against him, because he’s not the same. more of an undercurrent in the fic but another complication - physically being a selkie can create issues with his play, socially it sets him apart from the team (his pod), and professionally could be seen as a liability from the league.

finally, tradition. on a side note, i’d say world-building in general is one thing i’m actually good at, and i was drafting (early draft) that trip back to cole harbour for christmas and realized i had done almost nothing to actually build out selkie culture. so i had to invent the chest and robe stuff really quick and then go back and insert that lore into other scenes. those symbols ended up working well, i think, but were certainly not part of the original outline.

okay, back to tradition. idk this is going to be a mess, but selkie tradition in this fic is very much draped in privacy, secrecy, and following the rules. how not? if a literal stranger can steal your entire life, you gotta be careful about things. but they live separately versus communally, and are pretty tight-lipped, even with each other. insulated, kind of. and i think like any young person, some traditions are more meaningful to nate and some just seem like a pain in the ass, especially when you know he’s not necessarily the biggest fan of his selkieness to begin with. but traditions also hold a lot of weight, at times. and so nate has to kind of negotiate for himself and within himself which he wants to keep, or at least acknowledge he’s not as detached as he thinks he is (that moment on New Year’s Day when he thinks ej’s about to hit him with a robe, for example). and you know, when he gets to see ej’s whole-hearted acceptance of him, sees ej start to engage in those traditions in his own way, he lets those traditions take a bit bigger foothold i think. also i just wanna cry a bit about baby nate carving little pine trees and stuff on his own chest, putting shells and pucks and dog collars and other important mementos in there :(((((( ok, sorry. if this is a fic about nate growing up, which at its core it really is, then part of it is that moment we all reach as adults where we get to choose what’s important to us or what parts of our histories we want to honor and what we want to let go of, and who gets to be part of that future.

i could go on and on and on and probably point out more things every time, like that meme with the guy and the pictures and the connecting lines but. here you go, fwiw <3

#this is sooooo rambly I am sorry #also I had completely forgotten about that sid/ej fic and now i’m like 👀#could revisit that some day #anyway #please accept this for what it is #and understand why i don’t usually do these lmao #selkie fic tag #hockey rpf #replies #what is writing?#I don’t know her #patrichornkissed

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madtomedgar · 1 year

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umm genderbend 3zun (obviously) and yanli? (maybe lan qiren?)

unfortunately sometimes my genderbend thoughts on a particular character are "no." And to me, Nie Mingjue's character is so intrinsically wrapped up in toxic hyper-masculinity that I just can't make it work. Like. Part of my philosophy of gender-bends is that a character's relationship to gender should be mirrored. So a very gender-conforming character should stay gender conforming. A character that is perceived as effeminate should in a genderbend be seen as kind of manly or unladylike or like. crude/harsh/rough in that particular "failing at woman" way. And with Nie Mingjue and characters like him, they just can't fill the same role in the story as a devotee and enforcer of the worst aspects of femininity. I know a lot of people love "butch" f!Nie Mingjue, by they mean "big muscly woman with an undercut," and like. I hate that. To me it's reminiscent of a particular type of butch fetishization where we are seen as like. Big, hypermasculine canvases to project fantasies onto, and also a collection of negative stereotypes where we're angry, violent, kind of dumb, gruff, pushy, negging, dominant, with no real feelings or desires beyond the erotic fantasy and the psychosexual repulsion etc. So. Those are my feelings on r63 3zun. Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao as women is the best, but he just... he can only be a guy. I could get behind a trans guy Nie Mingjue who has bought into the worst parts of masculinity and thinks by going as hard as he can in that direction he can completely rid himself of any lingering trans-ness, but that is definitely not my story to tell or explore, yknow.

In terms of Yanli. I also don't love taking the one or two women in a cast of men and... making them men also. What, were there not enough men here already? But, ok. Madam Yu's firstborn, and he's... ah. He's ill. He's weak. He's sweet and sensitive, and he wants... oh no. He wants to be a Scholar. Where did those genes even come from what the fuck. I think a lot about how this goes though depends on whether or not Jiang Cheng is also gender-bent, and if Jin Zixuan is gender-bent, and what's going on with Wei Wuxian. Because sickly nerd m!Yanli and f!Jiang Cheng who is... Jiang Cheng and canon Wei Wuxian is basically Madam Yu's personal nightmare and that'll be a Whole Fun Thing. But if Jiang Cheng is still himself, and Wei Wuxian is still himself... I think Wei Wuxian might be more annoying to her but less threatening. I don't think m!Jiang Yanli would be a Mei Changsu mastermind type, he's just a fucking nerd in a family of jocks. He's writing poetry to praise Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian's exploits and doing really interesting things with it that you only get if you know a lot of literary theory. He is like. Mr. Older Brother but has no interest or ability to be the heir. Idk Jiang Yanli is also hard because so much of her character is just... feminine domesticity and passivity. And like. You could keep that but that's just a bodyswap OR it's a very different character because then they have Gender Issues bigtime, as opposed to having issues of like... conforming too well. Idk if that makes sense.

... Actually I could get behind trans woman Jiang Yanli. That would be AMAZING. Like. oh man. ok. Her brothers are both like "yes this is our sister duh. do you need glasses are you stupid do you want to die." Jiang Fengmian is like... well he can either have a failson or he can have a daughter who is... fine. So sure, let the kid be happy. Yeah ok it burns out the golden core a bit to make their body conform to their spirit like that but whatever, this kid was never going to be a great cultivator, this way she's happy. Jin Zixuan is like. A mega dickhead about it and the Yunmeng brothers are Going To Murder Him in this life and the next :D. (Jiang Yanli wishes they would stop because all it does is draw more attention to this and she just... she just wants to be a normal girl.) Jin Zixuan comes around post-sunshot and realizes he was a mega-dickhead and that Jiang Yanli is the best woman alive, actually. And Madam Yu. Oof. The thing is she would be much cooler, proud and happy even, if Jiang Yanli took after her. But from her perspective, Jiang Fengmian let one of her sons become weak and useless on purpose to insult her specifically, and now her daughter is setting herself up to be a defenseless laughingstock and doormat, and everyone will blame her for it. So she is awful about it. And like... Jiang Yanli was just never going to be a warrior, or a hero, or a strong assertive person, because that's just not who she is. She just wants to love people and have her family close, and make food, and take care of kids, and it's... not about gender but it kind of is, but not like her mother thinks. She gets exactly what she wants in the end, and nothing bad ever happens to her or Jin Zixuan or Jin Ling (Wei Wuxian created a method to have magic babies just for shijie). Yeah. This, I love.

#untamed stuff #rule 63 #every day i lose more respect for nie mingjue #i like. rarely do stuff with making characters trans #mostly because like. it's not my story to tell and #i worry about fucking it up yknow #so if i have indeed fucked it up i am very sorry #and if you feel up to it please let me know so i don't do it again #yeah

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asm5129 · 1 year

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RWBY v9 E5 Thoughts & Analysis

The ever after gets prettier and prettier

No one complain about the visuals of the JL crossovers, because this is what we got with resources that could have gone to those

“when we break, or wear out, or simply finish what we were made to do, We’re called back. But Herb? His heart was too weak to listen. So i gave him a little bit of mine.”

So Herb was already being called back, presumably because he was “worn out” and trying to force change instead of just help people on their journey, but he just wasn’t able to listen to said call. Intriguing.

So when you ascend, you become the person you wanted to be when you were your old self, but you don’t remember any of what or who you were prior to the change.

Also intriguing that Ruby specifically asks if you keep your memories post-ascension. Are you considering something you want to share with the class, Ruby?

Love how this volume has clearly gotten the CRWBY to reflect on what they’ve been writing as well, as we’ve seen through the cat a la “exposition is terribly boring”. They’re really thinking about the nature of stories and how to tell them meaningfully.

“I wonder what else Alyx left out” Hoo boy, i get the feeling that’s gonna have a doozy of an answer, Blake

I am so intrigued by the Blacksmith. Her design is fascinating. And, uh....as far as we know, she wasn’t in the book.

“Nothing, no one, is ever truly lost”

So lets get this out of the way--no, Penny’s not coming back. Stop it. There’s two ways i think the meaning of this line could play out

1) Ruby is tempted to ascend and “become” someone she think is more worthy of living than she is

2) People live on in the ways we carry them and everything we learned from them with us

currently, i’m on the “The Blacksmith is an Ascended Summer Rose” theory train, but then i was also dead wrong about the Rusted Knight--we’ll get there

She’s forging/smithing/whatever a butterfly something or other....wonder what that’s for. Other than symbolism, obviously

Little: ”Ruby, I don’t think we’re supposed to be here.” Everything about the blacksmith is framed as an almost unnatural addition to the Ever After--including CC seemingly not knowing about her.

“I’m fine. I can handle it” Ugh, Ruby, you poor girl

“If you change your mind, you can choose any one of these you like, and set your burden down.”

“They’re an extension of ourselves, they’re a part of us!”--Ruby, v1 about why she loves weapons

So, Crescent Rose is....perhaps, Ruby’s identity as a huntress?

Crescent rose is lost, that part of her is lost.

I dunno exactly, we’ll see. But I’m positive that volume 1 line is at the core of everything we have seen concerning Crescent Rose this volume.

Penny’s sword. Alyx’s dagger. And of course, the one that broke the FNDM--Summer’s axe.

Ever since Ruby and Salem confronted each other in volume 8, the silver eyes and Summer bring a sense of foreboding with them. They have changed completely from their heroic implications of volume 6.

What knowledge did you give her, Jinn?

The cat knocking things off the table casually is another great cat-based gag.

“It carries a mothers promise” this line has the potential to become one of the most heartbreaking things in the entire show.

Especially because in the Tuesday BtS video we got the line “a mother always fulfills her promise” from the cast and crew. Something absolutely soul crushing concerning Summer is on its way.

It is so like Ruby to put others first this way. People were in danger, her friends needed to return to normal to help, she knows how the barter system works in the Ever After, she gives her mothers emblem up without hesitation knowing its value will be enough.

It’s definitely weird to give Blake the line “whats a jabberwalker?” Weiss or Yang, sure. But Blake asking is weird. She is the most knowledgeable of the Ever After, she even knew about the Jabberwalker previously, right? Weird.

“If the jabberwalker eats us, we do not ascend” So it can essentially cut reincarnation short? Or maybe kill functionally immortal creatures? Seems like this could be interesting groundwork for the future...

The Rusted Knight! Blake fangirling over a fictional childhood hero come to life is just so wholesome.

Neo has officially moved beyond illusions. She can create tangible, seemingly even sentient replicas of existing, living things. So that’s not troubling at all. Course....do they have free will, or do they have to listen to Neo Prime? I guess we will learn soon enough.

‘We’ll hold them off”?! God i hope CC and thh bird guy are okay...

cuz, uh....not many are....tbh.....

JUNIPER

JNPR

My HEART

Jaune, what HAPPENED to you?

Do we get a flashback episode to see how he got to this state?

So, no, I do not think Jaune ascended, he still has his memories

Yes, I think he aged normally, we already know theres time shenaniganery in the Ever After.

No, i don’t think he will return to his pre-Ever After age, RWBY doesn’t reverse big status quo shifts. It just doesn’t.

Also adding to Penny not coming back--If Penny could come back, Jaune would have done it already.

So yeah. Also--

just the whole fact that there is a place in the world of RWBY where death doesn’t really exist when our main villain is literally incapable of dying, feels way too coincidental for my theory/analysis senses to ignore

Just the fact that the ever after has two ways of an otherwise immortal life ending—one through choosing to become someone and something else entirely, or the other to be taken by a creature that is the only thing that can “kill” in this world, feels very important when dealing with an immortal villain

Stopping Salem will come from something they learn in the Ever After, that’s clear as day Even if they don’t realize it for a few volumes

Or maybe that will be the moment Ruby finds hope again--when she realizes that something in the ever after can help her defeat Salem

#rwby #rwby volume 9 #rwby positivity #rwby analysis #rwby thoughts

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hbogirls · 1 year

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what are your favorite riverdale characters, ships, friendships, storylines + ranking of the seasons? :)

characters: i could probably write a literal essay on each and every one of them, but my top girlies are cheryl, betty, and archie

ships: the short answer is whatever's funniest, but the long answer is that i would kind of love for jarchie to go canon. and beronica would be icing on the cake. choni also holds a special place in my heart for unclear reasons (read: i think they're cute and it overpowers my need for narrative logic). i think cheryl is kind of bad for toni, but i think she's also worked hard over the time jump to get better. or at least weirder (complimentary). veggie was also kind of a delight; just two gorgeous wannabe mobsters and their beautiful little scams. i also really genuinely love jabitha. easily the healthiest, most functional relationship the show has ever seen. finally, the truth of the matter is that any dating combination of the core four would be interesting and fucked up in a different way, so i think regardless of how things end, it'll be narratively rich.

friendships: betty and cheryl!! weird, scary, pretty cousins who maybe sometimes kind of hate each other but will also do anything for each other? very slay. betty and veronica is also very compelling, especially in early seasons, so i'd love more of that in season 7. jughead and archie.... well yes! fellas is it gay if you mythologize your best friend as a shirtless folk hero? i also really want betty and toni to do more together!!

storylines: THE FARM!! when chad michael murray stood up and clapped at the musical, i felt like jesus must've felt when he ascended into heaven. i also loved literally everything about season 6. rivervale was so smart and well-planned, and the way it all tied together was perfection. it's not queerbaiting, it's saving the world. the way things all came together with the mothmen storyline was also deeply inspired. my favorite running joke, which i guess is a bit of a storyline, is hermione on rhony. hiram and veronica's entire relationship arc is kind of everything. oh and abigail and thomasina and poppyseed and all of those historical riverdale lesbian character studies!! i am literally so certain there's stuff i'm forgetting because i'm doing this off the top of my head and i need to get back to my rewatch!!

seasons: okay this is by no means definitive because the seasons don't exist super separately in my head for some reason? but this is a vague contour of my thoughts: 6 > 3 > 5 > 4 > 1 (feels stupid to have it relatively low because it came out of the gate giving everything and setting a wonderful stage) > 2 (and 2 is such a good season, i'm just scared of the black hood lmao)

#thank youuuuuu for asking :)

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ghooostbaby · 3 years

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deeeep dive into why and how wei wuxian and lan wangji love each other, complete each other, are the inverse reflection of each other’s deeply hidden internal selves mirrored through the other’s external self, lan wangji’s inner wildness that he has to conceal and protect recognizing and loving wei wuxian’s outer wildness, wei wuxian’s deep, fuddy-duddy morality and values that he conceals with an elaborate subterfuge of jokes, mischief, and bravado, seeing and loving in lan wangji the ability to say no that it was never safe for him to express directly, “between you and me there is no need for thank you and sorry”

oh and a slight diversion midway through into a manifesto on WEI WUXIAN IS NOT INSECURE the whole story is about a society where being liked is ESSENTIAL for survival and it is actually completely perilous not to be liked, and his “people pleasing” is a skill and tool for his survival especially as an orphan and proven to be a necessary one when he stops doing it and STOPS SURVIVING

after the cut discussing the very interesting dynamics of consent in general in the novel, but not going into the consensual non-consent kink stuff till the last paragraph if you need to avoid for any reason.

I've been thinking about how Lan WangJi sees in Wei WuXian the exterior, unfettered expression of the wildness Lan WangJi holds in him and protects with rigid codes of conduct, propriety and outward dignity.

I have had this sense that these two are mirrors, either one reflecting the hidden, interior (and unallowed) self of the other. but it seemed more clear from Lan WangJi's side, especially knowing about his history with his mother and the spicy side that emerges when he drinks and in the extras.

I also - just... the way this whole story shows how romantic love is truly this longing for your self, to become yourself, to become the thing you're not allowed to be, seeing in that person the expression of whatever it is you can't become and longing for it, protecting it, joining with it as closely as you can without ever being able to let it live inside your own body.

On the surface it seems a lot more difficult for Wei WuXian to find a piece of his soul in Lan Wangji. I think its a bit too simplistic to see whatever draws Wei WuXian to Lan Wangji as a reverse-psychology sort of craving of acceptance from the only one who won't give it, pushing and pushing against this impenetrable boundary that he needs to break to feel assurance that no matter what he can make anyone accept him.

And he is SO drawn - in a mind boggling way, in the teenage flashbacks Lan WangJi rudely and aggressively throws him off over and over and Wei WuXian cannot keep away! Even when he talks about how boring Lan WangJi is, he never stops trying to be around him and talk to him.

I've seen discussions of the way Wei WuXian has always relied on the goodwill of others to survive, and that his placating of others to survive is a character flaw. Although that seems only halfway true.

As a young child he didn't have anyone's goodwill for a while and he survived, and it seems like he can always find a way to survive from whatever means and sometimes very limited resources he has at his disposal. Doing what he has to do to become powerful enough to survive losing his core and being thrown into the burial mounds slowly costs him the goodwill of everyone around him - and what happens to him as a result shows how much placation was a truly necessary for someone without the protection of biological/hereditary family bonds.

(Don’t get me started on how his loss of his golden core and his development of demonic cultivation to give himself power by ‘unnatural methods’ through the use of a musical instrument is a metaphor for disability and the way ableist society sees the use of accessibility devices and tools. Actually please DO get my started haha.)

Wei WuXian is so charismatic and seems very used to getting what he wants and needs on the strength of that. He pushes a lot of boundaries and seems pretty confident and flexibly prepared to handle the consequences, whether beatings or harsh words. But he does work so hard to make others feel good, good with him, good with themselves.

When he is in the cave with Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian is described as "like one who forgets all past pain as soon as the wound heals". He can't resist coming up beside Lan WangJi and talking to him again and again after every time Lan WangJi pushes him off, only finally staying away when Lan WangJi bites him (and he still keeps trying to talk to him after a little bit!) and then calls him an awful person (!!! Bad Wangji! :(((( ). In the end, when Lan WangJi (very minimally) discloses what happened to his sect and his father, and even cries, because of all the defences/assaults Lan WangJi has put up Wei WuXian can't do anything or say anything to help and feels miserable.

Lan WangJi just absolutely refuses to allow Wei WuXian to take care of him - and I began to wonder maybe that’s what Wei WuXian actually really likes about him? Why he is unable to resist coming up to Lan WangJi again and again? Maybe because Lan WangJi refuses to let Wei WuXian appease him. He’s not trying to crack Lan WangJi to get to this impenetrable place of approval and acceptance. In a way he can’t quite understand, Lan WangJi is a respite for Wei WuXian from the constant work to be the one who pleases.

And how different this is to how Wei WuXian is (or has to be) with Jiang Cheng when he wakes up in Lotus Pier after the cave. Jiang Cheng gets so down and really really needs Wei WuXian to do what he does so well (and wasn’t allowed to do with Lan WangJi) - chasing Jiang Cheng down while being injured and reassuring him about all his insecurities about his father's acceptance and becoming a sect leader and Wei WuXian's own abilities excelling his - and at first Jiang Cheng is pushing him away, but he really does need Wei WuXian to do all this to feel better.

Wei WuXian is described as not wanting to be lonely, and not wanting to see other people unhappy, and he keeps trying to push and pull with whatever he has to not be lonely and lift the mood for those around him. I don't think it's a kind of codependency or insecurity. It’s not that Wei WuXian is afraid to say no, in fact I would say he doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do, but he must always do it creatively, with humour. Similarly to Nie Huaisang, he uses a persona of foolishness to give himself a covert agency.

I also think I'm writing this because I don't like seeing this discussed as a sad bean character flaw for him to always need to be liked - its a strategy, its a tool, its how he survives and excels. Doesn’t the whole story prove how essential being liked is to a human’s survival? And he is so so good at being liked, in making others happy, even when he is refusing to do what others want from him that he doesn't want to do, he does it in a way that deflects criticism, with a smiling bravado that never says what it truly means and has people writing him off as shameless or foolish or just endearing himself toward them despite themselves.

He is always at work really, with jokes and flattery or mischief and teasing, to get the resources he wants and needs. Case and point, when he makes a big coquettish show for mianmian, definitely not being "people pleasing" for her, but the group of girls around them all find it funny and cute and in the end she gives him a perfume sachet which ends up being a valuable resource for later. Or the time he outright tells Jiang Cheng that if you give the girls some lotus seeds they'll remember you and return the favour in the future. (Also notice how his interactions with girls seen as flirtatious are actually strategic resource-gathering acts.) These are the skills he has developed to meet his own needs. (THIS IS NOT A CHARACTER FLAW. I REPEAT.) He takes what he needs and steals from the Lotus Pier markets knowing it'll be paid for, he lives like he never know when his next windfall will come from so he'll take what he can when he can find it. Like Jiang Fengmian said, if there is no guarantee of a meal in the future then today's meal should still be enjoyed. It’s how Wei WuXian said to Nie Huaisang at Cloud Recesses, you have to find ways to make your own fun out of whatever you have. So he gets kicked out of class, goes fishing, gets alcohol, he pursues his own pleasure. He actually is quite insistent of his own agency and right to choose, he just can never directly say no.

And that little detail that Wei WuXian always tucks coins into his clothes just in case, that makes him able to buy food when he and Jiang Cheng are on the run... breaks my heart and reveals so much about the way Wei WuXian is constantly at work on ensuring his own survival and never takes for granted whether he is safe (he knows he never is).

I've seen some people talking about Wei WuXian sacrificing so much for his brother and sister out of a need to be accepted out of a chronic sense of insecurity. But isn’t this just true? Doesn't he live in a world where being accepted is absolutely essential for survival? Doesn’t this whole story show the cruelty of a social system based on networks of hereditary/biological family that closes out and scapegoats any outsiders, and that without biological family connections that can enclose around you, you can never truly be safe if not constantly working to earn acceptance? (And then beautifully ends with the way a gay romantic relationship that queers marriage/family/etc disrupts all this and creates safety and inclusion for Wei WuXian without needing a normative family.) (AKA romantic love does not resolve some internal personal problem in Wei WuXian but disrupts and refuses and rebels against the problem of SOCIETY.) (*breathes heavily*)

And that’s why Lan WangJi is magnetizing to Wei WuXian. Lan WangJi is always saying no. Although what Lan WangJi sees in Wei WuXian is an exterior wildness, Wei WuXian is not really out of control so much as he is playing and caring and supplicating and showing off and pleasing people to get the resources and the acceptance he needs to live his life. He has firm values and desires that he can never outwardly state, only creatively spinning plates to distract and deflect while he refuses what goes against his values, protects who he cares for, or takes what he needs to in order to survive/thrive. Lan WangJi embodies an exterior of resoluteness and direct agency that Wei WuXian doesn't have the luxury of. And he's so drawn to him for his ability to repeatedly say no, to refuse to get along, or make others laugh, make other people happy, but just simply follow what he thinks is right.

Wei WuXian’s outward wild movement protects an inward stillness. He is an exterior of people-pleasing around an interior of refusal. He is an exterior of youthful rebellion around an interior of unflinching morality. He sees in Lan WangJi the outward expression of his stillness, his morality, his resistance that he can't express, that he's had to protect.

FYI after the cut gets more into the dynamics of consent in the story, and the last paragraph directly talks about consensual non-consent kink play in wangxian’s relationship.

When Wei WuXian is with Lan WangJi, there is no work to be done. Lan WangJi cannot be swayed by him, and so there's no point vying for resources or favors. Lan WangJi will either give him everything or refuse him everything based on who he is, it does not matter what Wei WuXian does and he can't do anything that will change Lan WangJi’s mind. Someone he literally can't win over. After the resurrection, they are often in an adorable tug of war, where Wei WuXian tries to take care of Lan WangJi, while Lan WangJi won't allow him to but demands to care of Wei WuXian right back. Actually, Lan WangJi insists that Wei WuXian take everything he wants or needs from him and is even angry when he doesn't take or when Wei WuXian tries to offer a gesture in return, even something as simple as a thank you Lan WangJi won't accept. It’s kind of adorable how frustrated Wei WuXian is in doing this thing he's learned that he needs to do, and just... so confused by Lan WangJi, and has to find a way to please this person who aggressively refuses to be pleased and is ONLY pleased by Wei WuXian being pleased.

(Not to mention the way Wei WuXian delights in finding that Lan WangJi can’t say what he wants, and they have sort of these chaotic cohesive both-being-so-pleased-by-working-hard-to-please each-other moments where Wei WuXian is letting Lan WangJi please him by finding out what pleases Lan WangJi and giving it to him.)

The wildness Lan WangJi had always hidden within himself is something he sees as just as dangerous as Wei WuXian thinks of his desire to refuse. He saw his mother be socially alienated, shunned, and eventually die because of her wildness. His ability to survive in the world, aka to be accepted by his family, is contingent on him being able to control this inner wildness. From a young age (re: Phoenix Mountain kiss) he could only understand his sexual desires for Wei WuXian as something repulsive or dangerous that had to be repressed and controlled, and that the only way he could imagine his desires as possible was as non-consensual. His secret gay desires were never available to him as anything but something monstrous.

Importantly, it’s not like everyone else other than Lan WangJi are all vampires cruelly demanding Wei WuXian’s constant sacrifice. Wei WuXian is always vibrantly, charismatically offering so much, before anyone has asked. It’s Wei WuXian who creates this kind of relationship for himself again and again. It’s Lan WangJi who simply refuses - he refuses to charmed, to be cared for. And so in the end Lan WangJi becomes the one person who Wei WuXian feels doesn't need anything from him. When he says he's eating the corpse's fruit to save Lan WangJi money and Lan WangJi says that will never be necessary. Or when Wei WuXian asks what toy he should win for Lan WangJi at the market game, and Lan WangJi says anything Wei WuXian gets will be the one he wants. (XD stahhhhp it’s too sweet !!!) He really just wants Wei WuXian to be, to exist, to spend his life discovering his own desires and allow Lan WangJi to help satisfy them, he doesn't want anything from Wei WuXian other than him living - happy and safe.

It takes someone like Lan WangJi to refuse Wei WuXian’s aggressive generosity, it’s definitely not an easy thing to say no to Wei WuXian, dazzling or annoying people so chaotically before they even realize there’s something to say no to. The sacrifice he gives to Jiang Cheng, he never even offers a choice - and perhaps it would have been too much for Jiang Cheng to accept if he had the chance.

Lan WangJi’s statement "Between us there is no need for thank you and sorry" seems like one of the most important sentences in the novel, and you can’t help but noticed the way “sorry” and “thank you” is littered meaningfully through the book. What is owed, what the characters owe to each other, the give and take, touches every part of the story (down to wangxian's erotic explorations!).

When Jiang Cheng talks to Wei WuXian at the Guanyin temple he makes a lot of contradictory statements about what Wei WuXian owes, what he was given, what he took, what he (Wei WuXian still) is owed in return. Wei WuXian, according to Jiang Cheng, took everything from the Jiang clan, and paid them back with their deaths. The Jiang clan give him his life when they took him in, and he owed Jiang Cheng service for the rest of his life as the right hand to the sect leader, that’s what Wei WuXian had promised anyway. At the same time, Wei WuXian sacrificed everything (his golden core) to Jiang Cheng, by giving everything he was taking one more thing - Jiang Cheng’s right to even be angry at him. Jiang Cheng had taken everything from Wei WuXian. Everything that happened around Wei WuXian after could be said to be because of the loss of his golden core, which Jiang Cheng might be said to be responsible for. But he never asked for it, maybe he never would have wanted it. He wishes Wei WuXian told him, but Jiang Cheng never told Wei WuXian his golden core was melted while he was sacrificing himself to save Wei WuXian. He wants Wei wuxian to say sorry, but that makes him feel pathetic. And Jiang Cheng says sorry too. It’s a mess of paradoxes, and in the end somehow it seems like the scales are balanced in the most hollow, dismal way.

What is owed, what is given, what is taken ... Wei WuXian has never been part of a family. He has always had to say thank you and sorry for everything he's taken. Wei WuXian himself admits that he used "thank you" as a way to enforce distance between himself and Lan WangJi. Lan WangJi's point i think is that they belong to each other, Wei WuXian is his, and he is Wei WuXian's, unconditionally. The way that Jiang Cheng speaks of him in the Guanyin temple (admittedly I read a fan translation and this is very nuanced, related to slight variations of grammar), even when Jiang Cheng clearly is so broken by the loss of Wei WuXian from his life, he talks about Wei WuXian as an outsider. It is what MY family gave to YOU, never what you took from our family. But at one point Wei WuXian was part of their family - but he takes too much, and becomes an ex-disciple, not a brother. Wei WuXian’s inclusion as a Jiang was always conditional.

Even when Wen Qing and Wen Ning leave him to go take the blame for qiongqing path they tell him "thank you and sorry", drawing a line between them and him, so he doesn’t even belong to these people who he sacrificed everything for. The way Wei WuXian acted when he was younger, he was always keenly aware of this - he always knew that he didn’t belong to anyone, no one is going to protect him unconditionally. And after first escaping the Burial Mounds, he is done pretending. When Lan WangJi warns him about what a demonic cultivation path will do to his heart, Wei WuXian replies: “After all, on the topic of how my heart is, what could other people know about it? Why should other people care about it?” He is done pleasing. Nothing has changed really, he still belongs to no one and is alone, but now he is angry about it, and instead of saying thank you and sorry he is going to become too powerful to be at anyone's mercy. And then we see in the story afterward what happens to people who don't say thank you and sorry.

The whole point I think is the impossibility of choice, the impossibility of consent in this society. If he didn't forgo the behaviour his social acceptance was conditional on, he wouldn't have survived the burial mounds. But once he becomes powerful enough to survive and get revenge on the Wens, he is socially outcast. Except he was already outcast from the beginning.

And so how do Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi find a way through all that to a life together where all their desires are possible, where Wei WuXian can say no while also being pleasing (safe) to others, and Lan WangJi can indulge in his wild desires while still being good? The answer is kinky sex!

It is kind of miraculous and beautiful how Wei WuXian finds a way to say no, while simultaneously pleasing Lan WangJi, giving pleasure, while taking it, saying no, and knowing his refusal is not just tolerated, but gives Lan WangJi pleasure, knowing Lan wangji and knowing the painful belief Lan WangJi holds within that his desires are unacceptable and unspeakable, and that Wei WuXian can take care of Lan Wangji in a secret little way and please him and give everything to him by craving this wildness in Lan WangJi while at the same time he gets to say no again and again , and it won't push Lan WangJi away, he can refuse everything while at the same time be totally pleasing and thus safe, and also for Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian's pleasure at saying "no" while still being held onto, that he genuinely wants to be fucked even while begging Lan WangJi to stop (and the many ways he does give his consent for this throughout, especially their first time), allows Lan WangJi the ecstatic feeling that this idea that his sexual desires are only possible through force are not just something his lover forgives him for but something his lover is SO turned on by, and that he has consent for his fantasies of non-consent, Wei WuXian has the same fantasies from the other side, he is doing what he is supposed to while doing what he shouldn't, and actually these monstrous feelings in him allow him to take care of Wei WuXian in a way that he needs - that they both need - and all these impulses that are so wrong with Wei WuXian become very right and a way to do good. And they are just both so perfect and perfect for each other and I love them and I am so happy for them to have a long kinky life together.

#wangxian #mdzs #mdzs meta #holds wei wuxian close and murmurs into his hair 'no one knows you like i know you baby'

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thebibliosphere · 3 years

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So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After.

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting.

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom.

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man.

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms...

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful.

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual.

#long post #writing #ethical non-monogamy #relationship styles #relationship models in fiction #also that kindle link is an affiliate link #because fuck giving amazon free recs

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just-dreaming-marvel · 3 years

Text

Unofficial Fathers

MAIN MASTERLIST

Avengers x Teen!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5,450ish

Requests: I put two requests together for this one. I hope that it’s okay.

1-What about one with the Avengers and reader (maybe they have super speed???) where the reader is a teenager and super stressed out for whatever reason so the Avengers decide to get them moving by doing something with water (like water guns, balloons, slide, etc) with them. Just like fluff, I think it’d be kinda cute

2-Can you write an avengers x teen!reader, where she lost function in both of her legs, which makes her really sad and depressed? The others have to help her with everything and she feels bad, so she ends up trying to do things herself, but gets hurt. Maybe steve and tony play a more significant role. Thanks!

Warnings: angst / fluff / paralysis / wishing to have died

“Hey Speedy!” Tony called over the comms. “You’re up!”

“Finally!” You exclaimed.

The mission had started almost an hour ago, and the plan had been for you to hang out in the quinjet until you were deemed needed. Which annoyed you. Even though you were barely 17, you had been a part of the Avengers for almost 3 years. Longer than even Peter Parker.

Due to some freak accident during the Battle of New York, you somehow ended up with super speed abilities. That’s how Steve and Tony found you almost 3 years old. The two were in the city for meetings and you were zooming around helping people and playing pranks. You thought it would be fun to do something to those two. But before you could do something, Tony and Steve had you pinned to the wall with part of the Iron Man suit. Apparently, their ‘meeting’ was to actually find you and bring you in.

The whole Team was interested in getting to know you very quickly and get you properly trained. Natasha, Clint, Bucky, and Steve handled your combat training personally, while Tony and Bruce tested your abilities and created gear that would help you.

Steve and Tony, though definitely not a couple, took on the role of your parents. You even had begun calling them as such. Steve was Pa and Tony was Dad. They didn’t always agree on exactly how to handle you. But they loved you and that was a step above your real parents, who you didn’t even know.

“Y/N! I need you to get in the building and get anyone and everyone out!” Steve instructed. “As fast as you can! I think the building is going down!”

“You got it Cap!” You responded.

Using your super speed you rushed out of the quinjet and into the building. You zig-zagged through each floor. The first few were empty, but eventually you ran into some people. You quickly helped them out of the building to continue your search. You were almost done with you sweep when you felt the building tremble. You paused, glancing around.

“Kid!” Tony shouted in the comms. “The building is going down. Where are you?”

“Uh… I don’t think you want to know,” you responded.

“Please tell me you’re not still in the building, Y/N,” Steve said.

“I’m sorry, Pa. I’m almost done with my sweep. Just one last floor.”

“No, Y/N! Get out of there now!”

“Just one more floor!” You sped away to get to the last floor.

“I’m on my way to you, Y/N,” Tony said. “Meet me at the Northwest window.”

“Alright. I’m almost—“

You suddenly heard a loud cry. You turned to see a little girl huddled up in the corner as the building’s tremor’s worsened. Rushing to the little girl, you barely missed the ceiling caving down and breaking the floor.

“I’m outside the window, kid!” Tony exclaimed. “You need to get here, now!”

“There’s a kid in here!” You retorted, grabbing the little girl. You sped to the window. “You need to take her.” You held her out to Tony.

“Not without you!”

“Just take her, Dad! Please!”

He quickly took her from your arms. “Don’t do anything! I’ll be right back!”

He flew off and the floor began to crack worse beneath your feet. You knew, even with your super speed, that you wouldn’t be able to make it out of the building without Tony coming for you. When another section of floor collapsed, you knew you needed to get out of there.

“Dad!” You shouted.

“I’m almost there, honey!” He responded. “Just hang on!”

The floor cracked beneath you, sending you falling. You grasped onto the ledge.

“Dad!” You screamed.

“Almost, there—“

“AHHH!”

The building’s roof collapsed, with the rest of the building following. You were pushed down with the debris, screaming.

“Y/N!!!” A multitude of voices screamed over the comms.

But you didn’t hear anything else, because you landed with a thud, hitting your head and blacking out before the rest of the building landed on you.

~~~

“Tony, come take a rest,” Clint urged. “At least drink something.”

You had been stuck under the building for hours at this point, with Tony working non-stop to try and get to you.

“I can’t,” Tony responded. “My kid’s down there.”

“Scott’s almost here, he’ll shrink down and see what’s going on.”

“I can’t afford to waste a second.”

“Stark, we don’t know if moving any of this will make it worse for her,” Bucky said. “We could just be killing her faster.”

“You don’t think I know that!” Tony spun around. “But she’s the closest thing I have to a daughter! And I’ve already let her down once today.”

“You didn’t let her down.”

“I’m the one who told her to go into the building,” Steve said, everyone able to feel the self blame in his words. “I did this to her.”

“Stop with the blame game here, guys,” Clint interrupted. “Y/N wouldn’t want that. Now, we need—"

“I’m here! I’m here!” Scott yelled, running up with Hope. “Romanoff and Banner got us hooked up to cameras and we brought extra Pym particles so that we can get her out of there.” He briefly made eye contact with Tony and Steve. “We’re going to get her out of there.”

“We’ve got this,” Hope confirmed.

Shrinking, the two quickly got into the rubble. The others rushed over to the screens so that they could hear and see what was going on. It was dusty, that much was clear. But the couple were quick to follow FRIDAY’s leads on where to go. The AI was trying to to its best to sense were you were by heat signatures.

“Miss Y/N should be just below,” the AI informed the two in the debris.

“There she is,” Steve breathed out, seeing your head on the screen. It was clear that blood had been, or still was, coming from somewhere on your head. “Tell us what’s going on guys. What’s her status?”

“She’s breathing,” Hope confirmed. “She’s scratched up, but it looks like the bleeding as stopped.”

“She’s lost quite a bit of blood,” Scott added. He turned, revealing her bottom half, squished under a large piece of cement. “That’s not good.”

“Shit,” Tony whispered. “No.”

“We need to shrink her before the damage gets worse,” Hope said. “Get on the other side of her, Scott.”

“On it,” Scott replied.

“You ready?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Shrink her in 3, 2, 1.”

Your body was quickly shrunk. Hope and Scott quickly worked together to secure you to Hope.

“Okay, she’s secure,” Scott said. “We’re on our way up.”

“You’re going to want to get everything ready,” Hope warned. “We aren’t going to want to bring her back to normal size without being ready to work.”

“Helen Cho is waiting back at the compound with her team,” Bruce informed. “Natasha and I have the quinjet ready to stabilize her as much as we can on the way.”

“Steve, Tony, you may want to stay away. It’s worse than the camera’s probably caught.”

“Not a chance.” / “Like hell!”

“Hope is right,” Clint said. “Bruce needs to be able to check her out with out you two hovering.” He looked at Bucky, the two seemingly having a silent conversation. They both took a step towards the two other men. “When they bring her out, we can’t have you two going all papa bears.”

“We’re in the quinjet,” Scott informed.

Clint and Bucky were quick. Bucky went for Steve, fighting with him to slow him down. Clint quickly shot an arrow at Tony’s arc reactor, shutting down the suit and effectively locking Tony in it. While that was happening, the others raced to the quinjet, getting it off the ground before the four men could get there.

Scott normalized himself first before helping Hope with herself and Y/N. Natasha and Bruce were waiting, ready to grab you as soon as they could. You were limp in Bruce’s arms, so incredibly so that it scared even the Hulk to his core. He and Natasha worked quickly and efficiently together to do everything they could before getting to the compound.

Back at the site, the four men had slowed down their fighting.

“How could you do that Clint?” Tony asked, clearly hurt as he was able to get his helmet off. “You have kids. You should understand the need to be with them when they’re injured.”

“I do,” Clint replied. “That’s why we knew we needed to stop the two of you.”

“Whatever happens, it’s going to be hard,” Bucky said. “And they need to be able to fully evaluate her. It was either this or sedation… We’re sorry. We want to be there for her too."

~~~

It was two hours before Cho had finished running all the tests and an hour after that before Tony and Steve could wait at your bedside. You were all bandaged, bruised, and scrapped, but you were alive. That’s all that really matter. The test results had yet to come back, so the men had to try and be patient. You sucked in a breath, alerting the men to the possibility of you waking up.

“Y/N?” Steve softly called. “You there, doll?”

“Pa?” You rasped, head turning towards the sound of his voice while your eyes crept open.

“Hey.” He smiled.

“Hi, kid,” Tony said.

You turned to look at him. “Dad.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I feel a hundred feet and then a building landed on me.”

“We’re not surprised there,” Steve commented.

“Hey, Y/N,” Helen Cho greeted as she walked into the room with her tablet. “How are you doing? Any unusual pain?”

“Well the drugs you’ve given me are trippy,” you replied.

“Drugs?” She repeated concerned, glancing at Tony and Steve.

“Yeah. I can feel my upper half, but my waist and below are completely numb. What did you give me, doc?”

Helen immediately went to work. She tore off the blankets covering your feet and immediately began running her pen up and down them.

“What’s going on?” You asked, trying to sit up.

“Steve, go get Bruce,” Helen ordered. Steve nodded and rushed out.

You looked at Tony. “Dad? What’s going on?”

“I-I— oh my gosh,” Tony stammered, hand covering his mouth.

“Dad!”

“We didn’t give you any pain meds, Y/N,” Helen stated.

“What?”

“We wanted to see if there was any damage done, so we didn’t want the pain meds getting in the way.”

“So… I—I… I can’t…” You began hyperventilating. “I…”

“Honey, lay down,” Tony urged, gently pushing you onto the bed. “Breathe.”

“I’m here!” Bruce said, hurrying in with Steve. “We need to get her into the scanner and compare it to the other tests we’ve taken.”

Helen quickly went to the head of your bed, unlocking the wheels. All of this was scaring you.

“Dad?” You looked at Tony, teary eyed, before looking at Steve. “Pa?” They both grasped one of your hands.

“We’re right here,” Steve said, bringing your hand up for a kiss as Helen and Bruce began to wheel you away.

“You both need to stay here, while we run the scans,” Bruce said.

“No! Please!” You pled, crying.

“I’ll be with you, Y/N. Tony and Steve just need to stay here.”

Bruce and Helen pushed you away as you begged and cried out for Steve and Tony. The rest of the Team rushed into the hallway to see what was happening. They witnessed you being pushed down the hall.

“What the hell is going on?” Sam asked, looking into the room where Tony and Steve had been left. Both men looked distraught, and absolutely heartbroken.

“Steve?” Bucky questioned.

“She… She… I…” Steve couldn’t pull his thoughts together.

“Tony?” Natasha questioned.

The man fell back into a chair, burying his head in his hands. “She couldn’t feel her legs,” Tony whispered. “She couldn’t feel her legs.”

“She thought they had given her pain killers,” Steve continued, whispering as well.

“Steve, sit down,” Bucky said, moving to help his friend. “You look like you could pass out.”

“I might… she couldn’t feel her legs…”

“She’s going to be alright,” Sam said. “Y/N’s a fighter.”

“Yeah, but… she couldn’t feel her legs…”

~~~

After getting you into the scanner, Bruce and Helen actually gave you drugs to help you calm down. You were asleep almost as soon as they were injected. The two doctors worked together to look over each scan and previously done test. Only to reach the same conclusion each time. You were paralyzed. This brought on a multitude of worries, but the biggest one had to do with your abilities. Would you ever be able to use them again?

After finding out about the diagnosis, it was the first question to leave Tony’s lips. Tony and Steve were standing outside your med-bay room, Helen and Bruce in front of them. The two doctors sighed, glancing at one another.

“No,” Bruce answered. “She wouldn’t be able to use her abilities again.”

What they didn’t know was that you had woken up just in time to hear Tony ask the question and Bruce answer it. Covering your mouth, you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to stop from sobbing.

“She’s going to need help with everything, especially right now,” Helen continued for Bruce. “She’s going to need to be looked after. And I—“

“We’ll do it,” Steve replied, firmly. “We’re her family, we’ll take care of her.”

“I know that you two—this whole team, sees her as family. But this is going to be a long, hard road.”

“What are you saying?” Tony asked. “That we send her away? She’s almost 17! Who would be willing to adopt her at that age? Especially when we are her family!” He motioned between himself and Steve. “We are her fathers!”

“I understand, Tony. But you need to be prepared. She’s going to need help with the little everyday things. Bathing, getting changed, going to the bathroom. Somebody’s going to need to help her with it.”

“We will,” Steve repeated, still as firm as before. “Whatever she needs, for as long as she needs it. Whether it’s officially legal or not, she is our daughter and we will help her through it all.”

“I can make her braces,” Tony said. “Just like I did with Rhodes.”

“We actually believe that it would be more valuable if she learns to live with a wheelchair first,” Bruce responded. “Just in case anything were to happen with the braces, that she wouldn’t be completely helpless.”

“I agree with Bruce on this one,” Steve said. “She needs to be able to live in a wheelchair before she tries braces.”

“We will have her in physical and occupational therapy such, so she doesn’t lose all the muscles in her legs.”

Just then, Wanda rushed passed them, heading for your door. “Wanda?” Steve questioned. “What’s going on?”

“The pain,” Wanda replied. “She’s in so much pain.”

Following Wanda into the room, they witnessed you trying to control your emotions. Though it was clear you were upset. Tony and Steve rushed to either side of you.

“It’s okay, honey,” Tony whispered, wiping tears off your cheeks. “It’s okay.”

“N-no…” you rasped, shaking your head. “It’s… n-not…”

“Did you hear what we were talking about?” Steve asked. You nodded. “I’m so sorry, doll. You shouldn’t have had to find out that way.”

You couldn’t stop the sobs at this point. You had just gotten the worse news you could have imagined. You were paralyzed and know unable to use your abilities. In your mind, you were basically useless.

Steve quickly got into bed with you, pulling you into his arms. As he cradled you, he tried to get you to calm down. He glanced around worriedly at everyone else in the room, who didn’t know how to help.

~~~

“You need to eat, Y/N,” Tony pressed, trying to hand you a plate again.

“I’m not hungry,” you replied, voice void of all emotion.

You had fallen asleep in Steve’s arms, where the two of you stayed until morning. Tony brought in breakfast while Steve went to get ready for the day.

“You need to eat,” he said again.

“I said, I’m not hungry,” you repeated.

Tony sighed, seating the plate down. “Do you not like waffles? I can have Happy go get something else. A burger? Fries? Ice cream?”

“I want my legs back.”

“Kid—“

“Don’t try to make me feel better about this. You have no understanding about how I am feeling.”

“I wasn’t trying to. I just—“

“Can you leave me alone? I want to be alone.”

Tony knew that you just needed a moment. So without responding, he got up and left, closing the door behind him. He leaned against the wall next to it, running a hand down his face. The guilt he was feeling was real. If only he had grabbed you and the kid, or if he had just flown faster.

“You’re going there too?” Steve asked, coming up to lean on the wall across from Tony.

“The guilt is real,” Tony responded.

“Yeah… I shouldn’t have had her go into the building. What was I thinking?”

“I shouldn’t have let her convince me to take the kid… but, I guess, feeling this way won’t do her any good now, will it?”

“No, unfortunately, it won’t.” Steve looked at the closed door. “How is she?”

“She refused to eat… I’m thinking about having Happy get all her favorite foods for lunch.”

“Good idea. Maybe we could even try the wheelchair out and bring her to the common area.”

“I like it.”

“I’ll let everyone know about it.”

“Yeah, I—“

“Excuse me, Boss, Captain,” FRIDAY interrupted. “But Y/N is in need of immediate assistance.”

~~~

After Tony left, you huffed. This was miserable. You didn’t want to be stuck in this bed. And, honestly, the longer you sat there, the more you needed to go to the bathroom. You just didn’t want to ask for help, you didn’t want that to be your life. Studying the distance between your bed and the toilet for a few moments, you decided to get there yourself. Besides, they hadn’t tried to stand you up and get you to walk, maybe this was all one big cruel joke.

Taking a deep breath, you flung your covers off. You pushed yourself towards the edge of the bed, helping your legs to rest over it. Other deep breath in and you pushed yourself off the bed, trying to stand. You immediately fell. Trying to brace yourself, you landed on your hands. One of your wrists cracked, failing to break your fall. In the midst of the struggle, your bladder decided to let loose, causing you to lay in a pool of your own pee. You clutched your wrist close to your chest as your door burst open, revealing two extremely worried men. You looked at them, with tears cascading down your cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” you said. “I just wanted to do something by myself.” They looked at you with complete pity, which you absolutely hated.

“It’s okay,” Steve said, getting on the floor beside you, minding the puddle. He noticed your wrist. “Did you hurt yourself?”

You nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“I’ll go run and get you clothes, sweetheart,” Tony said. “Steve will help you into the shower. It’s all going to be okay.” He rushed out.

“No it won’t,” you whispered as Steve scooped you up into his arms. “It will never be again.”

And Steve thought his heart couldn’t shatter more than it already had. As he lifted you, he could practically feel the weight that this was having on you. You wouldn’t look at him as he took you into the bathroom and set you on the shower floor.

“Can I help you undress?” Steve asked.

You inhaled sharply, closing your eyes. This was your life now. Though you could undress yourself, you would always need help, basically be waited on all the time.

“If you want, I can go grab Natasha,” Steve suggested. “Or Wanda. Or, Pepper might even be in today. You love Pepper.”

“I want to be alone,” you mumbled.

“Y/N, I just want to help. Just let me help.”

“And I just want to be alone.” Tears were still falling, though you couldn’t understand how.

“Y/N—“

“Just leave me alone!” You shouted, pushing yourself into the corner.

“What’s going on in here?” Tony asked, bringing in the clothes with Pepper following.

“Leave me alone!”

“Why don’t you guys wait outside?” Pepper suggested. “I’ll help Y/N.”

Steve sighed, straightened up from his kneeled position and hurrying out of there. Tony looked at you sadly before taking his leave. Pepper shut the door and came to your side.

“What do you want me to do?” She asked softly.

“I want to be left alone,” you responded, frustrated and not willing to look her way.

“That’s not going to happen and you know it, Tony and Steve won’t allow it. Those men out there care about you and are so extremely worried. All they want to do is help.”

“I don’t care.”

She let out a small sigh. “Will you at least let me help? We need to get you out of those clothes and washed up. Especially since that wrist needs to get checked out.”

After a moment, you gave in and looked at her. “Okay.”

Pepper smiled at you briefly. “Okay.”

~~~

Apparently, there was already a hairline fracture in your wrist because of the accident. Your fall off the bed didn’t do anything to help it. You had willingly let Pepper help you clean up, but other than that you were still fighting asking for help.

The Team had tried to lift your spirits at lunch out in the common area, but to no avail. After that, you were taken to your regular room, where a twin bed had been added.

“What’s that?” You asked, you hadn’t spoken since the bathroom.

“Someone is going to stay in here with you until things start becoming normal again,” Steve replied, pushing the wheelchair further into the room.

“Normal,” you scoffed.

“Buck and I were thinking we could have a movie night today. Maybe try and watch all of the—“

“I just want to sleep.”

“That’s okay too.”

“I would be here too kid,” Tony added, “but Pep and I are working out somethings with the physical therapist.”

“What’s the point of physical therapy? My legs don’t work.”

“It’s to keep your muscles, so that one day you can get braces.”

You nodded, glancing around until you were staring at your tennis shoes on the floor. They were brand new, Stark designed shoes. They were meant to not wear as fast because of your speeding abilities. Your speeding abilities that you could no longer access.

“Can you do something with those?” You asked, pointing at them.

Both Tony and Steve looked over. They got a tad deflated after remembering how excited you had been about those shoes.

“Yeah, sure, kid,” Tony responded, grabbing them. “I’ll just put them up in your closet. We can—“

“No,” you interrupted. “I want them gone.”

“Y/N—“

“I don’t need any reminders of what I’m now unable to do.”

“Sweetheart,” Tony got down in front of you, “you can still, or will be able to, do a lot. You got lucky.” He immediately regretted his last sentence, even Steve flinch.

“I got lucky? I. Got. Lucky?”

“Y/N, that’s not what—“

“Get the hell out!”

“Hey, that’s not how you talk to your—“

“My what? Father?! Cause you aren’t, remember? Maybe you should take Helen’s advice and give me away! Might make it easier on everyone!”

“You are my daughter, damn it! Whether it’s official or not, or by blood!”

“Y/N, Tony—“ Steve tried to interrupt.

“No! I actually will say that you got lucky. You did because you have people willing to help you, willing to support you.”

“Well stop!” You shouted back. “Have you ever thought that I don’t want any of your help?! Maybe I think that you should have just left me down there to die! It would have been better that way! I’m basically useless like this!”

“Enough!” Bucky yelled, barging in with Nat. “Steve, Tony, out.”

With a glare sent their way from Nat, the two men didn’t even argue. You were refusing to look at Bucky and Nat. Half embarrassed that you said those things to the men you considered your dads, and half embarrassed that you were believing the terrible thoughts your mind was taunting you with.

Bucky and Natasha looked at each other, unsure of what exactly to do. You let them help you into bed before they left you alone, leaving with a promise to bring food later.

In the loneliness of your bedroom, you let your thoughts consume you. How you were now useless as an Avenger without being able to have super speed. How you wished they would have just let you die. How you wish they wouldn’t be so helpful, it was driving you crazy. How you really didn’t have any family, you were all alone.

~~~

To respect your boundaries, Tony and Steve decided to let the others help them. No matter how hard it was. It hurt them to see you struggling through everything and not rush to your side. Not that you would let them help, you weren’t letting anyone without putting up a fight.

Steve and Tony had had many talks since they realized you were wishing that you had just died. Tony had made sure that FRIDAY had surveillance on you 24/7 and the Team, besides Tony and Steve, were switching sleeping in your room every night.

It wasn’t easy on anyone, especially since you were having nightmares about being stuck down in the debris. Someone would wake you from the dream, only to be quickly shut out. The terrors would leave you trembling, sweating, and in a state of panic. But, with you not willing to let people help, the others were forced to watch you struggle with this.

Physical and occupational therapy was a whole other issue. You were rude to the therapists and unwilling to do anything. As the weeks went by, the Team could see the affect it was happening on your legs and they were concerned. Steve and Tony would watch each session from above, angry at the whole situation.

It had been two months since the whole incident, and you still weren’t showing any signs of changing your attitude any time soon.

“Come on, Y/N,” your therapist sighed. “What I’m asking you to do isn’t all that hard. I’m going to do all the work.”

“No,” you stated, determined.

“Y/N—“

“Why don’t you go help someone who’s more able to do things? Maybe someone who will actually get better. I’m sure they’d love your help."

“I can’t watch this anymore,” Tony said to Steve, watching from above. “She’s hurting herself.”

“You know we can’t force her to do anything, Tony,” Steve replied. “We have to let her do this on her own.”

“No, we don’t.” Tony turned around and headed for the room you were currently in.

“Tony! What are you going to do?”

“Use the hate she is harboring towards what happened, towards us, for her benefit.”

Tony burst into the room, causing you and the therapist to jump. You furrowed your brows, confused at what Tony and Steve could possibly be doing here.

“Hand me your leg, Y/N,” Tony demanded.

“What? No,” you responded.

“Hand me your damn leg!”

“No!”

“Fine!” Tony marched over and picked you up from your wheelchair.

“Put me down!” You tried to push off Tony. “Let me go!”

“Tony!” Steve called. “What are you doing?”

“It’s time for some tough love,” Tony responded. He set you down, not gently, on a therapy table. He grabbed your leg and began doing the exercises.

“Let go of me!” You demanded, trying to reach and pry him away, but failing.

“No! Don’t you see what you are doing to yourself? What you’re doing to those around you?! You are miserable and you are making others miserable! Yes, what happened to you was absolute shit. Trust me, Steve and I will have that guilt with us for the rest of our lives. But it’s up to you to decide how to come out of this. You ever fight to live, fight to find the new normal, or you let yourself whither away. And I’m not about to let that last one happen.”

“You may think you’re alone in this, but you aren’t,” Tony continued. “Steve and I, the Team, we all want to help you through this. Even if that means sticking with you for life.”

During Tony’s whole thing, you had began crying. He was right, you were making yourself and everyone around you miserable.

“I’m sorry,” you cried out. “I’m so sorry… I just… I just wish…”

“I know, honey, I know,” Tony said, moving to pull you into his chest. You melted into him, crying. He placed a kiss on your head. “I’ve got you… I’ve got you.”

“Don’t leave me, Dad.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Steve came over and grabbed one of your hands, gently kissing it. You gave his hand a squeeze.

“I’m sorry, Pa,” you croaked.

“It’s okay,” Steve replied with a tiny smile. “No need to apologize. Just please don’t say that you would have rather died again. I don’t think I could take it if you did.”

“If I died or said it again?”

“Both.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“Will you guys… uh, will you guys help me with my exercises?”

“Of course, honey,” Tony replied. “But maybe Steve should do the other leg, because I think I wore myself out.”

Steve stood. “I’ll exercise that leg better than you could, Stark,” he commented.

“Oh, you’re on, Rogers.” Tony swiftly stood up.

“Great,” you muttered. “Now this is going to be a thing.”

~~~

Now that you were accepting help, things were beginning to look up again. Not that things weren’t hard, but they were better and you could handle it all better. The Team had decided to celebrate, but wouldn’t tell you how. Wheeling your wheelchair into the common area, you found it pitch black.

“FRIDAY,” you called out to the AI, “can I get some lights?”

“Of course,” the AI responded.

The lights came on and suddenly you were being pelted with water from squirt guns. The Team came out of their hiding spots, laughing, as they continued to fire at you.

“Guys!” You squealed, trying to shield yourself. “Guys! St-stop!”

“Never!” Sam exclaimed as he made his way closer to you.

“Here,” Peter said, lowering himself from the ceiling. “Take this.” He offered you a large gun. “Save yourself.”

You laughed as you began to fight back. Suddenly, you were pulled backwards by both Steve and Tony, who were trying to use you and the chair as protection.

“They’ve turned against us!” Tony exclaimed.

“Help us, Y/N!” Steve added.

You couldn’t stop laughing as you, Tony and Steve worked together to try and defeat the others. The Team couldn’t stop smiling as they watched you act so happy. It was so refreshing. After the common room was all but turned into a pool, the Team decided to change and then meet down in the movie room to relax for the night. When Y/N had arrived down there, Tony and Steve had saved a place between them.

“Can I help you onto the couch?” Steve asked.

You responded with a nod and let Steve pick you up, wrapping your arms around his neck. He carefully guided you through the maze of lodging teammates to the spot him and Tony had chosen on the couch.

“Thanks Pa,” you said as he set you down. You pulled your legs up close to you.

“Not a problem,” he smiled, sitting down beside you.

Tony spread a blanket over you guys. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Of course,” Tony responded, leaving a little kiss on your forehead.

You curled up against Tony as Steve moved your legs to rest over his lap, allowing him to massage them. FRIDAY quickly turned on your favorite movie. You glanced around, taking in everyone around you, and you couldn’t be more grateful. Though your life was going to continue to have its challenges, you were glad you had found this family.

Part 2

#the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #tony stark x reader #steve rogers x reader #tony stark imagine #steve rogers x imagine #marvel x reader #the avengers x teen!reader #avengers x teen!reader #tony stark x teen!reader #steve rogers x teen!reader #marvel imagine #marvel imagines

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seriouslysnape · 3 years

Note

hi! i saw your requests are open and i wanted to ask about something that has been on my mind for a while now

could u please write about harry dating a ravenclaw girl who is into music? she plays the piano and sings and harry is basically her biggest supporter and he is always praising her, i haven't seen anything like this before so it might be nice :)

Harry Potter x Fem! Ravenclaw! Reader

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N: I tweaked this request juuuuust a tad, Anon. Also, I’m going to count this as a one-shot instead of a drabble. I’m pretty sure this is too long to be considered a drabble.

“I never knew...”

Harry’s feet automatically carried him towards the source of the angelic sounds that were currently registering in his ears. He wasn’t even exactly sure what part of the castle he was in, because his ears had led him to a section that was unfamiliar to him. Harry had always been the curious type. Most people would say that his curiosity is what got him into trouble most of the time.

But he just couldn’t help but seek out the noise that was drawing him in. He could identify the sounds of a piano being played with ease, but he was a bit fuzzy on WHO could have been playing a piano in such a talented manner. None of his friends were much of musicians (although Ron would argue that he had perfect singing pitch), and he was pretty sure none of his enemies were musically gifted.

He suddenly found himself in front of two dark, wooden doors that were acting as a barrier between the corridor and the room inside. The musical notes had gotten louder as he grew closer, but the music was still muffled from the wall between him and the room.

He debated on whether or not he should enter. He wanted to hear more. He practically needed to hear more to satisfy the itch that was bugging him to get closer to the noise. But for all he knew, it could be Professor Snape behind those doors playing the keys as a form of stress relief. Harry wasn’t sure that he was keen on walking into the middle of that.

He pressed his ear against the wood for an even better vantage point, his eyelids gently shutting at the melodious music. The classical music brought a sense of ease and comfort to him. It came crashing over him like tidal waves on a coastal beach in the dog days of summer. He was sure that he had never felt anything like whatever he was feeling right now. It brought a flutter to his heart, like a million little garden butterflies being released from captivity. He was sure that this was as close to dancing amongst the stars as he’d ever get.

Just as he was preparing to depart, a new sound was heard from within the mysterious room. He pressed his ear back up to the door like a magnet on a refrigerator, his gut doing an excited roll at the sudden noise. It took him a moment to decipher what he was hearing, and then it hit him.

Whoever the mystery pianist was had a voice of gold...and also one that was strikingly familiar.

He was sure that he was mistaken, because surely no one he knew was this talented with the piano. It was a female voice for sure, which ruled out his Professor Snape theory. She sounded young, her voice not sounding aged or wise like Professor McGonagall’s did. It was definitely a student, and likely someone that he had at least seen around before. Suddenly, his curiosity was too strong to ignore.

He had to see who it was.

He turned the knob of the right door as quietly as he could, not intending to disturb the musical peace. He half expected to see a halo of light around the girl sitting at the piano, based on how wonderfully celestial she sounded. Instead, his eyes were met with a set of blue and bronze robes sitting at a bench in front of a massive piano. It was set conveniently in the middle of the room, and it wasn’t accompanied by much else. There was one massive window against the back wall, casting a certain glow into the room that settled onto the girl sitting just twenty feet or so from him.

He stood halfway between the doorway and the room, still soaking in the beautiful music being bestowed upon him. She was still singing perfectly and quietly, her nimble fingers dancing from key to key with extreme precision.

That voice...

He abruptly realized that he did know that voice. He knew that voice and those hands anywhere. They belonged to someone that he cared about so very much. Someone whose presence and heart in and of themselves were music to Harry’s soul. He couldn’t stop himself before he had time to think about it. Her name fell from his lips rather loudly, stopping her completely.

“[Y/N]?”

He mentally smacked himself just as fast as her name left his mouth. He blushed at the sudden intrusion of privacy, but it melted away when she turned back to face her boyfriend.

“Harry. I...what are you doing here?” She asked, suddenly very aware that she had been caught in her secret hobby.

Harry took that as an invitation, closing the door behind him and making leisure strides to the piano where his lover sat like a deer in headlights. Harry knew his girlfriend well. He knew her favorite food, her favorite Muggle movie, and had even learned her morning routine.

But this? This was something that had completely taken him by surprise.

“I heard you playing from a few corridors over.” He explained, his hand resting between her shoulder blades when he made it to her.

Harry noticed that she hadn’t even a scratch sheet of music. She had been playing purely from the heart and memorization. He was floored at his new realization of his girlfriend.

“Oh.” She said meekly, her embarrassed eyes avoiding his astonished ones.

“I never knew...” He whispered out, almost a little hurt that there was something about his girlfriend of almost two years that he didn’t know, “You’re positively brilliant, darling.”

He was gushing over her as if she had just been appointed to be the next Minister of Magic. He was impressed, stunned, and even more in love all at the same time. He knew that she kept things to herself sometimes, and he always respected that.

But he was sure that her talents needed to be shared with the world...or at least with him. He sat down next to her in a bubbly manner, his core practically vibrating with excitement.

“Play something else!” He shrilled, his eyes shifting back and forth between her and the piano.

Her cheeks burned deeper, but her smile was blinding.

“Really?” She breathed out, her fingers finding their positions again.

His hand rested on her thigh, his thumb running back and forth in a careful manner. He pressed a kiss to her temple, smirking underneath the kiss when she giggled. Her laugh was the best sound that he’d ever have the pleasure of hearing.

“Absolutely.”

#Harry Potter #harry potter x you #harry potter x reader #harry potter x y/n #harry potter x female reader #harry potter x fem!reader #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter x ravenclaw!reader #harry potter imagines #harry potter imagine #harry potter fluff #harry potter oneshot #seriouslysnape

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t0wnspersonb · 4 years

Text

Practice Makes Perfect (Tsukishima Kei x Reader)

Rated: Explicit

Word Count: 3,823

Warnings: SMUT, loss of virginity, bad language, Tsukki being too damn beautiful.

Summary: It’s been several months after Tsukishima’s confession in the infirmary. You two are dating now, and after a study session in his room, you two decide to take your relationship to the next level.

~~~

I hear you guys! I fucking see you!😂 we all need some Tsukki smut in our life so here is part 2 of Kiss it Better, I’ve included the link for anyone who hasn’t read the first part. I hope you all enjoy it and I would love the feedback afterwards:)

ALSO. I AM TAKING REQUESTS. I know I have some sitting in my inbox right now that I need to get to still so I apologize in advance if I can’t get your request out right away. But I literally adore all of you so much. Thank you for taking the time to read my shit writing:’) Anyway please enjoy the shit show lol.

~~~

It had been several months since you and Tsukishima started going out, after his confession in the infirmary, and after you guys had walked home together – well – things just naturally fell into place.

It felt like your interactions were the same, he was still a cocky little asshole, teasing you and harassing you endlessly.

But it was different somehow. You guys were almost inseparable it seemed. There were sides to Tsukishima that only you got to see, an unsaid trust that went both ways. You confided in him, sought comfort in him, and he did the same. He was your person, and you were his.

You hadn’t realized how same and different it would be once you guys were in a relationship.

But you loved it all.

You loved every second of it.

You loved him.

You were in love with him, and while it was something that neither of you had said yet, that feeling was definitely there.

It was said through his endless lectures on how you needed to eat better, it was said through the way he held your hand, or when he carried your bag. It was said in the way that his eyes gleamed when you proudly showed him the latest photos you had taken.

It was said in the way that you praised him for being an amazing blocker in volleyball, it was said when you would give him a new dinosaur figurine. It was said when you would introduce him to a new song that reminded him of you.

No, you guys had never uttered the words ‘I love you’ to each other, but you did.

He did.

And that was all that mattered.

Right now, you two were currently cleaning up the classroom together, since it was your week to clean.

You guys easily conversed with one another as you wiped down the blackboard and Tsukishima swept.

“– because of those dimwits we had to do twice as many drills.” Tsukishima said, finishing his story on how exhausting yesterday's volleyball practice had gone.

“Kageyama and Hinata sure are energetic.” You mused, pausing your wiping to glance over at the tall blonde in amusement.

He sighed and looked over at you, “They’re idiots. They act like everyone has the same amount of stamina as them. It’s ridiculous.”

You couldn’t help the soft laughter that bubbled up from your lips. “I think you’re just lazy Tsukki.”

His eyes narrowed, but not at your comment, but at what you had called him. He had told you weeks ago to start calling him by his first name, considering that you guys have been dating for a while now.

He leaned the broom against one of the desks and walked over to you. You were near the teacher’s desk as you surveyed your work. He moved in front of your vision, towering over your small frame, causing you to crane your neck back to just look at his face.

He moved closer, his palm resting on the desk behind you, trapping you in.

“What’s the matter Tsukki?” you asked in confusion, your head tilting to the side.

His eyes narrowed further, a frown creasing his lips. “I told you to start calling me Kei.”

A soft blush covered your face as you broke the eye contact with him, suddenly feeling incredibly nervous.

“I – I know. It’s just a force of habit.” You mumbled quickly, shifting from foot to foot.

Tsukishima couldn’t help but smirk, leaning in closer to you, causing your back to press into the edge of the desk as you tried to put more distance between the two of you.

“Why are you acting so nervous?” he murmured, the hand not resting on the table coming up to move your hair over your shoulder.

You visibly flinched, which caused his smirk to widen as he saw the blush coating your face.

“I’m not nervous stupid!” you fired back, looking at him now. “You’re just too close!”

You could feel your heart racing, your palms accumulating sweat.

“I’ve been closer.” he said simply and pressed his body against yours, one of his thighs coming to rest between your legs. This caused your skirt ride further up your thighs, and you couldn’t help but clutch at the front of his uniform helplessly as you attempted to stabilize yourself.

Tsukishima wasn’t lying, he had been closer. Many times, in fact, in the comfort of his bedroom. While you guys had never actually had sex, it had gotten close.

If Tsukishima was being honest, it was because he couldn’t help himself. Your expressions were just too much, the sounds that escaped your mouth were incredibly sweet, it made him want more. Every time.

But the same could be said about you. Tsukishima was incredibly good looking, his lust filled expressions drove you insane, and the way he made you feel was just too good.

“S-Shut up idiot.” You moved to push him away from you, but he was already cupping your face and tilting your head up for a kiss.

You melted against him, kissing him back with vigor. You all but breathed want and need into his lungs as Tsukishima explored the wet cavern of your mouth, his tongue hot and wet as it rubbed against yours gently.

The kisses you shared always spoke volumes with how you were feeling. They ranged from short and sweet, to something incredibly passionate and needy.

Either one, they always left you breathless and needy, your head spinning with so much want and need.

Tsukishima’s grip on your jaw tightened ever so slightly as he continued to explore your mouth. His tongue tracing over your teeth and bottom lip before going back to massage your own tongue. You were at his will completely, not that you minded. Not that you could even think about anything else other than the way he was making you feel.

The leg between your thighs shifted suddenly and you felt yourself being pressed against his clothed thigh in the most intimate way. A surprised noise could be heard in your throat, and desire rippled through your body like a tidal wave.

Tsukishima pulled back slightly, allowing his lips to flutter against your jaw and down your throat. His fingers working at the buttons of your uniform.

You were left feeling delirious and incredibly achy. Your grip on his uniform tightening as you tried to get your bearings.

You finally realized where you were.

School.

You couldn’t do this here.

“Tsuki - ah - shima. S-Stop, we can’t do this here.” You gasped out, eyes fluttering shut in pleasure as he nipped at the exposed skin of your collarbone, and at the same time pressed himself harder against your core. His hands were now on your hips, and at the same time that he pressed his thigh closer to you, he had moved your body forward, causing you to grind against him.

Pleasure rippled through your being; you knew that you were soaking wet right now. It was unfair how well he touched you, how he knew how to make you hot and bothered.

“I told you to call me Kei.” he murmured and dragged your body against his thigh again. A delicious gasp escaping your spit stained lips.

“K-Kei. We c-can’t do this.” You whimpered out. “W-We could get caught. A-And if y-you’re late to practice, you know that Yamaguchi will be sent out to find you.”

He sighed deeply, and reluctantly pulled away from you, adjusting himself accordingly. You were right. He didn’t want anyone seeing you like that, that was for his eyes only.

It was so hard for him to not want to continue after he saw your disheveled form. It was fucking beautiful. Your lips were swollen with his kisses, your shirt unbuttoned, exposing the dark mark he had left on your soft skin. Your skirt was hiked up on your thighs, and your face was dazed with want and need.

Tsukishima gritted his teeth, stopping himself from pushing you up on that desk and having his way with you finally.

It was silent as you guys made yourselves presentable and finished cleaning up the classroom. The tension was thick in the air, lust buzzing in the air between you two.

Club activities flew by and so did the walk home. The tension never disappeared between the two of you, which had made Yamaguchi a bit nervous as you all walked home together. Of course, he wasn’t aware of what had transpired in the classroom, nor could he decipher what exactly the tension was, but he could feel the strange energy between the two of you.

“You’re coming over tomorrow right?” Tsukishima finally said as he dropped you off at home.

“Yeah. I definitely need help studying for that math test next week.” you sighed frowning slightly.

“That’s why you need to take better notes in class. You can’t just keep drawing like a mindless idiot all the time.” Tsukishima said, causing you to scowl at him.

“Whatever asshole! Goodnight! Text me when you get home. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” You said childishly slamming the door in his face.

At least some things would never change between you two.

***

You grumbled under your breath as you attempted the math problem in front of you.

You were in Tsukishima’s room, the said male was currently reading a book, sitting across the table from you and ignoring you completely as you struggled.

“I don’t get it.” You sighed, slouching your upper body on the tabletop. You hated math. It was your worst subject despite the good grades that you got.

His eyes flickered over to your dejected form before going back to his book. “Whining about it isn’t going to change anything.”

You scowled at his blunt statement, pulling your head up from the table, you stuck your tongue out at him. “Don’t be such an insensitive jerk.”

His eye twitched at your statement as he looked at you once more. Before he could retort his older brother entered the room carrying a plate of snacks.

“I thought you guys could use some food.” he said brightly, carefully placing the plate of food on the table.

Your mood brightened immediately. “Thanks, Akiteru!”

Tsukishima felt his eye twitch further, so you could easily call his brother by his first name but not his.

His brother smiled back, “No problem Y/n-chan! Ever since you and Kei started dating his mood has improved a lot!” he said, giving you a thumbs up.

Tsukishima slammed his book shut, placing it on the table and glowered at his older brother. “Don’t you have to go practice?”

He waved him off as he turned to look at you. “Who knew that Kei could get such a cute girlfriend!”

A soft blush coated your face much to Tsukishima’s annoyance, he stood up and began pushing his brother out of his room. As soon as he slammed the door shut and locked it, he turned his glare on you.

“S-Stop looking at me like that! I didn’t do anything.” You said nervously. He ignored you completely and took a seat right next to you, leaning in closer.

“What are you doing?” You whispered, your heart racing in your chest as he grabbed your chin, turning your head to look at him.

He was staring at you intensely. “You better pay close attention; I’m only going to help you go over this stuff once and if you miss any of the problems you can just go home.”

You frowned at his bluntness but nodded, nonetheless.

You weren’t sure how long it was, but you somehow finished the problems, and luckily didn’t get any of the answers wrong.

Tsukishima was surprisingly a good teacher. At least when he wanted to be, he was still incredibly impatient when teaching you, but you learned the material.

“Finally.” he muttered as you finished putting everything in your bag away, before you could say anything, he grabbed your arm and slammed his lips into yours.

You made a noise of surprise before kissing him back, eyes fluttering shut.

The kiss was hungry and desperate, his tongue prying your lips open and immediately beginning to fight your tongue for dominance. It was hot and wet and sent a wave of arousal throughout your entire body. The hand that was resting on your arm slid up to grab your jaw, fitting his mouth against yours perfectly.

His other hand moved to rest in the middle of your back, and before you knew it your world shifted.

Tsukishima had maneuvered your body to the floor, hovering over you. The hand that was on your back moved back around and you felt long slender fingers wrap around the back of your knee, carefully hiking your leg over his hip.

This new position allowed Tsukishima to get closer to you. He pressed his body into yours gently, being sure not to crush you with his weight. He adored the softness of your body, and the sweet smell of your skin.

But it wasn’t enough.

He wanted more.

Tsukishima carefully snapped his hips forward, pressing his growing member against you. The only clothing separating him from your weeping core was a pair of thin panties.

He groaned against your lips, pressing harder against you. A soft whimper from you egged him on, he couldn’t help himself. He grinded his hips harder against you, his member uncomfortably hard and searching for some kind of relief.

His lips began trailing kisses along your jaw and down your throat, his fingers brushing against your collarbone, pushing your shirt away to reveal more skin.

You gazed up at his ceiling in a daze, softly gasping at each thrust of his hips, you could feel your panties dampening further with your arousal as you clutched at his shoulders.

“Take these off.” he demanded huskily in your ear. He tugged at your jacket and shirt, his fingers dipping underneath the fabric and brushing against the delicate skin at your stomach.

“You first.” you breathed out, your own hands sliding beneath the blue shirt he opted to wear today. The tips of your fingers trailing softly against the hard lines of his stomach, his skin was warm and soft, the muscles flexing as he exhaled in a shudder.

He sat back on the balls of his feet, his hands easily removing his shirt, tossing it behind him on the floor. He almost moaned at the sight before him.

You were sprawled out on the floor, legs bent slightly at the knee, your skirt was hiked up just below your panties. Your face was flushed red, your eyes half-lidded as you stared him with desire. Your chest heaving up and down.

“Your turn.” he said simply and helped you sit half up. But before you could even remove the clothing yourself, Tsukishima was already at it. Pulling the jacket off your shoulders and then tugging your shirt over your head, revealing the soft white colored bra to his greedy eyes.

“Fuck.” he whispered under his breath, you were fucking beautiful, and you were all his. “Come here.” he breathed, pulling you easily onto your feet and then pushing you down onto his bed, crawling on top of you.

You loved the way he looked at you, like you hung the moon. Like you were the brightest thing he had ever seen in his entire life. It made you feel wanted, loved, adored.

Tsukishima’s lips easily found yours once again, still needy and urgent. He was pressed against you between your legs once more, grinding softly against your soaked core.

His fingers trailing up softly from the hem of your skirt, up your stomach, to your ribs, and then they were cupping your right breast.

Kneading you softly through the cup of your bra. Like before, his lips began trailing kisses along your jaw, sucking at your throat, and then to the tops of your breasts.

His breath was hot and damp against your overheated flesh, his tongue flicking out to taste your soft skin. You tossed your head back in pleasure, unable to stop the sweet moans and gasps that were escaping your lips as he began sucking and biting.

“K-Kei.” You stuttered out, eyes slipping shut in pleasure. He glanced up at you and reached to pull one of the straps of your bra down, allowing one of your breasts to pop out freely.

He watched as your exposed nipple began to harden before softly engulfing the pebbled bud into the hot cave of his mouth.

Fuck, he’s never heard anything as sweet as the moans and high-pitched whines that escaped your swollen lips.

You couldn’t breathe, the pleasure was overwhelming as he began flicking his tongue back and forth against your nipple. The back of your hand resting over your mouth, attempting to quiet the moans that were escaping your lips. Tsukishima began rolling your nipple between his teeth carefully, causing you to arch your back off the bed.

Hot white pleasure shooting into your body, your lower half was on fire, burning with so much need. You had soaked through your underwear completely, and your cunt was throbbing to be touched now.

“Please.” You whined out, chest heaving as you struggled to catch your breath. “K-Kei. Please.”

He hummed against your breast, releasing your nipple with a soft pop before moving up and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“What do you want?” he asked, voice low and deep. But he already knew that answer, his fingers already dancing across the zipper of your skirt, easily opening it, and pulling it down your legs, where you kicked it off of your ankles.

Tsukishima could have cum in his pants then and there. You had luckily decided to wear a matching bra and panties today, but that wasn’t why he was in awe. He could visibly see how wet you were.

Your wetness soaked through your panties; a dark wet spot easily being spotted by the tall blonde.

“Is this because of me?” he murmured, a long finger gently rubbing up and down against the stain. “You’re soaked.” he breathed out, feeling the moisture collect on his finger.

“Kei.” a high-pitched whine left your lips. “I-I want you. Please.”

He exhaled loudly through his nose and began removing the rest of your clothes, his gold eyes drank in your exposed body greedily.

This. this was all his. You were all his.

He then removed the rest of his clothes; his body bare for your eyes to see.

Tsukishima was the most beautiful person you had ever laid your eyes on. The muscles in his body flexing as you took him in, and then… he was fucking hard. It looked incredibly painful, his member pulsing and leaking precum.

Gently parting your legs further, he carefully rubbed his member against your glistening slit, moaning at the wetness.

This was it.

“Are you sure?” he asked softly, gazing at you with a gentle expression, his thumb rubbing softly against your knee.

You nodded, fearing that your voice would shake with the nerves you were experiencing, but the desire for Tsukishima overshadowed that. You wanted him.

He shook his head. “I need to hear you say it Y/n.”

“I want you Kei.” you said breathless. “I-I love you.”

You weren’t… fuck, you weren’t planning to say that. You could feel panic rising in your chest, your eyes widening as you took in his expression.

Tsukishima’s eyes were wide, his lips parted softly at your statement. A soft blush coating his face.

“I love you too.” he finally said, and then pushed his hips forward.

The sudden pressure below, the intrusion you weren’t used to had you gasping loudly, throwing your head back at the unfamiliar sensation.

The stretch wasn’t uncomfortable, there was the slight fear at the back of your mind that it would hurt based on all the stories that you had heard from your friends and senpais.

It was just different… but fuck. The expression that was now on Tsukishima’s face wiped away any kind of discomfort you may have been in.

His face was contorted in pure bliss, his eyes squeezed shut, lips parted in pleasure. It was a beautiful sight.

You were the one making him feel that way, you were the one that was giving him all this pleasure. This was yours to keep, this moment.

You gasped softly as he began moving, carefully rocking his hips against yours. His cock rubbed against your velvety walls, reaching a depth within you that you didn’t even know you had.

“Y-You’re so tight.” He stuttered out. “Feel so good.” he praised and began moving in and out of you more.

You were getting used to the uncomfortable feeling of being full; and that’s definitely what you felt when Tsukishima was inside of you.

It started to feel… good actually.

Tsukishima must’ve realized that as well, his speed and force increasing a bit more. He reached down and carefully began circling your clit with his thumb.

Oh fuck. No, that was good. That was really good. Your body jolted in pleasure, a soft whine escaping your lips.

“I’m close.” Tsukishima said panting, his eyes began to focus on your expression, wanting you to feel just as much pleasure as he was.

You were beautiful. You were so fucking beautiful, naked, and gasping, taking his cock so well. He gritted his teeth, hastily removing himself from your weeping core. Tsukishima grasped at his member tightly and thrusted twice into his fist before spilling himself onto your lower belly.

His cum was hot and thick as it splattered onto your skin, you had never seen anything more perfect than the way Tsukishima looked coming undone.

You couldn’t help but stare at him as he came down from his high. His blonde hair was disheveled, sweat gleamed on his pale skin, outlining the hard muscles in his arms and stomach.

When he finally opened his eyes they immediately softened as they took in your spent form.

“Hold on.” he murmured softly and got up to find a towel, carefully cleaning up the mess he made on your stomach.

You couldn’t help but to continue laying there, exhausted despite the fact that you hadn’t done much. After Tsukishima finished taking care of you, he pulled the blanket on the edge of the bed up as he laid next to you. You moved closer to the blonde male, resting your head against his chest, his fingers began combing through your hair.

“I’m sure that wasn’t good for you.” he said quietly, after a moment of comfortable silence. “But I plan on making you feel good every time from now on.”

“It was good.” You said softly, on the verge of sleep. “We just need more practice… like volleyball.”

Tsukishima laughed softly against your hair. “Shut up stupid. Go to sleep.”

#tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x you #tsukishima imagine #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima smut #smut #fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu smut #reader insert #haikyuu x you #imagines #tsukishima haikyuu #tsukishima kei smut #requests are open

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whump-a-la-mode · 3 years

Note

I am once again asking for continuation to hero breaking villain out of prison and comfort for the villain

After so much hurt, I definitely agree that Villain deserves some comfort! I got two requests for this as well.

I might respond to this one from @starnight-whump separately though-- I'm loving writing comfort for our poor Villain! For now, they're getting some much needed physical affection.

This is a continuation from here. Part two is here and part one is here.

CW//Past trauma, medical exams, touch aversion, screaming

It was a horrible decision.

Of course it had been a horrible decision. Going to the prison in the first place had been a horrible decision, so had accepting Leader's offer to 'view' one of their caged up zoo animals. The whole night had been a series of one mistake after another.

And now...

Now Hero stood outside an apartment door, chest fluttering with a mix of nerves and embarrassment, the likes of which they had not felt for a very, very long time. A half-limp body was tucked against their chest, weak hands gripping their shirt like a lifeline. That was the only thing Villain had done for the whole walk here-- held onto Hero's shirt, head buried in their shoulder.

With a nervous flick of their tongue over their lips, Hero reached forth, knocking on the door. Villain shifted and struggled as the extra support was removed, but calmed once more when Hero wrapped their arm back around them.

For a few moments, there was silence.

Silence as dead as that that they had been surrounded by upon escaping the vicinity of the prison. The pregnant pause of indecision.

Of course, it had been Hero's first instinct to head home. To return to their bedroom, return to where they had been before their life had been turned upon its head. There was enough room was Villain, enough food and water, assuming they still understood what those were.

But... That wasn't an option. Leader may have been a monster, but they weren't stupid. Hero's apartment is the first place they would look. If they brought Villain there, they may as well already have been recaptured.

So, Hero had come up with a Plan B.

The doorknob turned, the door nervously being drawn open.

"Hero?"

If they had had the free hand to do so, Hero would have waved, but they didn't want to risk Villain squirming around again.

So, instead, they decided to reply like an awkward idiot.

"Uh, long time no see?"

"Yyyes. Come in, come in. We can't talk out here."

Doctor retreated within their apartment, Hero hot on their heels. The door was quickly closed behind, the nervous doctor securing a number of custom-installed locks upon it.

The smell of the apartment hadn't changed one bit. A fog of heavy nostalgia threatened to take over Hero's brain. How many times had they staggered in here after a battle, before there was an Organization, before there were any real doctors to help? More times than they could count, certainly.

"Sit." Doctor insisted, and Hero certainly wasn't about to refuse. They settled onto a worn, beige sofa, dark spots showing where blood stains refused to be washed out.

Villain gripped Hero's shirt tighter.

"Okay." The doctor took a deep breath before exhaling. There was no frustration in their voice-- there never was-- but nerves made their vocal chords strain just the same. There was warmth in their expression, joy at seeing an old friend, but it was overcast. "Please don't tell me you did something stupid."

"I may have done something stupid."

"Okay. How stupid?" Doctor blinked, not waiting for an answer, before their gaze shifted to Villain. "I assume it has to do with them?"

"Yyyeah."

"What did you do?"

"I may have broken them out of prison."

A pause.

"You broke them out of prison."

"Yeah."

"I was honestly expecting something worse. That's still bad, but... Are you hurt? Are they hurt?"

"I'm fine." Hero shook their head. "As for them, I'm not sure. I haven't looked."

"Then... I mean, I'm glad you're here, but what do you need my help with?"

"I think something is wrong with them."

"Hm." Doctor hummed, gaze turning once more to Villain. "Hey, bud, what's your name?"

Nothing.

"What's your name, bud?"

Villain did not so much as twitch.

"There's something wrong with them." Hero dipped their head.

"Are they asleep?"

"No? Well, I don't think so."

"What exactly is wrong with them?"

Hero bit their lip, hand stroking along Villain's tense back. What was wrong with them? A lot of things, clearly, but what specifically? They didn't seem drugged, and they were clearly conscious, but their behavior was anything but normal.

"Um... Well, they've been locked in a soundless prison cell, alone, for over a year."

"Oh. Oh, shit."

"Which I assume is pretty bad."

"Yes, it's bad. Really, really bad."

Hero's hand stopped mid-stroke, pressing reassuringly into Villain's shoulder.

"Can you help them?" The words came out as a breathless whisper.

"I can try."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Doctor's exam room was probably the last thing anyone would have expected to see in a tiny inner-city apartment.

It wasn't completely sterile, not like one would expect in a real hospital. The carpet had been replaced by tile, but the wallpaper and ceiling remained the same as the rest of the apartment. The metal exam table in the center contained no fancy gadgets, consisting of little more than a stainless steel slab and a pillow wrapped in plastic. At the very least, the cupboards and hanging pieces of medical equipment provided some sense of authenticity to the setup.

"We're going to need to get them onto the table." Doctor nodded, strolling into the room before shutting the door behind themself. "Do you think they can sit up on their own?"

"They were earlier."

"Then put them on the table, please. I'll need to get a better look."

Hero nodded. The limp body they carried did not seem to react to the words. They seemed so comfortable, so desperate to stay in their grasp-- but Doctor knew what they were talking about.

Prying Villain off of their shirt was an effort in and of itself. Once their grip was finally released, they hung in the air like dead weight, allowing themself to be placed on the table without fight. Not that they were aware enough to struggle-- their eyes still sat blank, like staring back at a piece of taxidermy.

"Can you see the problem?" Hero asked impatiently.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... They're acting so weird. There's gotta be something wrong with them, right? Did they hit their head? I don't see a bruise..."

Doctor looked to Hero. Why was there such pity in their gaze?

"Hero..." They exhaled. "Physically, your friend here looks fine. They could benefit from putting on a bit more weight, but otherwise..."

"They're not hurt?"

"No."

"Then..."

"Whatever is going on with them, it's in their mind. Hero, who is this?"

"It was Villain. One of the villains."

"And they were alone for so long."

Hero nodded feebly.

"Is there some kind of... some kind of medicine? Or treatment? To wake them up? To make them themself again?"

"No. No, Hero." A pitied shake of the head. "This isn't sickness. This isn't injury. This is trauma."

"Someone hurt them?"

"The opposite. Being that isolated for that long, it does something to the brain."

"They..."

"This happened slowly." This time, Doctor nodded, as though answering a question Hero hadn't even known they had. "Over months, probably. Solitude and silence, it broke them."

That was what Villain was. Not hurt, not injured, not sick. Broken. The very core of them, shattered into nothing, and without a single wound being inflicted.

They were staring at Hero. Almost. Their eyes were positioned in that direction, but they weren't looking at anything at all. There was simply nothing there.

"Can we fix it?" That was what mattered. Villain had been broken-- were there enough pieces left to put them back together again?

"We can try. But that's not going to be quick. Putting them back together, helping them, it's going to be no quicker a process than that which broke them in the first place. Right now, we need to make sure that, physically, they're okay."

"Mhm." Hero nodded, the reality of the situation beginning to sink in in all its terrible detail. "What first?"

"Medical exam. If no one has looked at them in a year... Well, we need to do that."

"Okay. What then?"

"Then, we give them a bath. And some fresh clothes. They smell terrible. But right now, I need to make sure they're okay. Keep them on the table."

"I don't think they're going anywhere soon."

"Fair." Doctor turned, rolling a metal stand out from the corner, a monitor on its top and a plastic cuff hanging from it. They positioned the blood pressure monitor next to the table, undoing the cuff and holding it in one hand. With the other, they gripped Villain's wrist-

The screaming was somehow louder this time, loud enough to make the doctor leap back in surprise. A moment after they removed their hand, it stopped, leaving Villain sobbing and gasping for breath.

Doctor looked to Hero wordlessly.

"They did that when I first touched them too. I think they're just scared. It's okay, Villain." They tried to coax. "Try again."

The doctor bit their lip, but obliged, moving forward to again place their hand-

It was a more shrill shriek, this time, like that of a dying seal.

"Okay. Okay." Doctor breathed, hands outstretched in a defensive position. "Can.. Will they let you touch them?"

Hero tentatively reached forth, a hand upon Villain's wrist. The only reaction they were met with was that of a slight twitch.

"Well." Doctor muttered. "Then there's only one way we can do this."

"What?"

"You're going to have to play doctor."

"I'm not-"

"I know. I'll guide you through it. Put the blood pressure cuff on."

"Are you sure about this?"

"What matters most is their health. What matters second most is their comfort. If this is the way they want it done, we'll do it."

Hero nodded. "Where does the cuff go?"

"Upper arm. Make sure its tight enough to stay on, but not too tight."

It was just a cuff, right? It couldn't be that hard. They took the blood pressure cuff in hand, wrapping it taut around Villain's upper arm. They twitched, but did not protest.

The machine buzzed, the cuff inflating until the surrounding parts of Villain's skin grew red. Hero felt their heart flutter, as though they should help, before the machine made a satisfied noise and released its hold.

"It's high." Doctor reported. "But within a normal range. They're scared, but not sick."

"What next?"

"Eyes. I can probably do that, it doesn't involve direct touch."

Doctor positioned themself before Villain, a small light in hand. They leaned forward, but did not touch their patient.

The light was raised to Villain's eye. For a moment, they were still, before a whimper tore itself from their throat. They closed their eyes, looking ever so slightly away as they wrapped their arms around themself.

"Hey, hey." Hero didn't even notice that they were shoving the doctor out of the way until they'd already done so. "Sorry."

"It's fine."

"Villain, it's okay. It's okay. I'm right here."

Villain opened their eyes-- for the first time, they truly opened their eyes. Wide pupils looked at Hero, quivering lips seeming as though they wanted to speak. Instead, Villain raised their arms, weakly grasping for the person before them.

Hero obliged, picking them up with ease and holding them to their chest. They relaxed in a moment.

"Uh, Doctor?" Hero flushed. "Is it okay if they spend the rest of the exam in my lap?"

Doctor bit their lip, but nodded.

"If that's what will make them the most comfortable. Hold them still, let's check their hearing next."

Hero nodded their agreement, turning Villain around so that they faced towards the doctor. With a gentle hand in their hair, they whispered:

"This is only gonna take a minute, I promise. Then you're gonna get a bath and be all warm and clean. Just hold still for me, okay?"

Villain whimpered, and leaned closer to their new caretaker.

#call me #ask game #whump #villain whumpee #whump community

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waithyuck · 4 years

Text

flame

pairing: dragon!mark lee x reader (f) *halloweenie special*

genre: smut, supernatural au

word count: 3k

warnings: BIG DICK MARK LEE, but also shy mark lee, sexual content, thigh riding, unprotected sex, kinda sub mark for like a couple seconds but then those dragon instincts kick in, biting, slight alcohol consumption, light cockwarming, overall sweetness **unedited**

a/n: I simp for mark lee on the daily ofc I had to write some smut ab him OFC

< previous | next >

~10/21/2020~

~~~~

“mark lee, if you don’t get your fire breathing ass back in that kitchen in two seconds, I’m cutting your tail off.” you heard your boss call out, her voice stern as she pierced her gaze through your blushing coworker. he mumbled a hushed apology before rushing past you and into the back, knocking all kinds of things over on his way.

mark was a clumsy dragon; being a dragon wasn’t an uncommon thing, considering the world was littered with creatures now, but you had never met one as shy or as clumsy as mark lee.

he was shy and always spoke quietly, and rarely ever looked anyone in the eyes. in fact, you were certain you’d never actually seen his eyes, even after working with him for two years.

you had become friends with him in that time, and currently was the reason why he just got hollered at by your manager. you probably shouldn’t have called him up from his station just to bullshit around.

you considered mark one of your closest friends now, even if he was still a shy mess around you. he opened up a little bit, to your surprise, but never fully. you couldn’t lie to yourself and say you didn’t have a small crush on him, despite him having the personality of a small, naked dog.

he seemed to trust you though, so it shouldn’t have surprised you when he came to you after work asking for a favor.

you were on your way to your car when you felt a warm hand softly grip your wrist, stopping you from walking any further. you turned around startled at first, not knowing it was him until you saw his face in front of you. you smiled at him.

“hey markie.” you greeted sweetly, moving your arm back down to your side once he let go of you. his lips quirked you slightly at the nickname, but as quickly as you saw it, it disappeared.

“hi y/n,” he let out quietly, wringing his hands together. “I have a, uh, favor to ask of you, if that’s okay.”

you quirked your eyebrow at him, your curiousity piqued. you gestured for him to continue and he let out a large warm breath as his thin tail flicked behind him.

“would you mind, um,” he scratched the back of his neck. “housesitting my grandma’s place with me this weekend? I don’t wanna be alone in there…”

you blinked in silence at him for a moment, processing his request before replying.

“mark,” you started, looking him in the eyes, “you’re telling me that you’re a fucking dragon,” you stated in disbelief, your hip cocked to one side as you stood across from him. “but you can’t stay the night at your grandma’s house alone? aren’t you supposed to be like, the most powerful creature in the world?”

he blushed and looked down at his feet, one little fang poking out over his bottom lip as he played with his fingers bashfully. when he didn’t reply a small frown made its way to your lips, and you quickly clapped a hand on his shoulder.

“sure mark, I’ll house-sit with you.” you smiled, trying to find his eyes. when he smiled back and glanced at you, your heart seemed to flutter on its own accord, and you stepped back out of his space.

you cleared your throat. “just text me the details. I’ll see you later!”

with that, you quickly ran off to your car, starting the engine and driving away. you didn’t even notice how the boy you had just left stared after you, his eyes glowing gold in the setting sunlight.

mark didn’t take long to send you the details, and before you knew it the weekend had rolled in. you met up with him at his place and he drove the both of your across town to where his grandmother’s house resided, and you can’t say you weren’t awestruck at the size of it.

it looked like a true mansion; but more like one from some bad horror movie that was haunted by 100 year old dead girls or something. you had to admit, it gave you the creeps and now you were beginning to understand why mark didn’t want to stay here alone.

“so uh, the electricity seems to be out.” he stated once the two of you made yourselves comfortable inside the home. you two looked at each other briefly, both of your eyes wide. “she didn’t mention that on the phone.”

you sucked in air through your teeth, but knew you would have to deal with being in the dark in an old and creepy mansion that was owned by a woman most likely close to death herself.

“it’ll be fine,” you reassured him, placing your backpack down on the floor in front of the sofa. upon opening it, you pulled out two wine bottles, much to mark’s surprise.

you smirked at him. “are you down to drink with me?”

he nodded almost instantly, and you grinned back.

fast forward an hour later, and you were definitely a little wine drunk. you weren’t too far gone; you still had some wits about you, but everything seemed to just feel a tad bit too good for you to be completely sober.

you and mark were giggling back and forth over stupid nonsense, and you felt your heart flutter everytime the harmonious sound of his laughter left his body.

god, you really were such a goddamn simp for this boy. “so, markie,” you blurted, smiling dumbly at him as you set your glass down on the coffee table in front of you. you curled your legs up under you as you turned to face him on the couch, your face resting on you palm. “do you have a girlfriend?”

“a g-girlfriend?” he squeaked out cutely, his eyes wide as he stared at you from across the couch. “uh, n-no. uhm, not many girls really like me like that.” he laughed it off, his hand coming up to rest behind his head shyly. you almost melted at the sight of him acting so bashful, even though you’ve seen it countless times in the time you’ve known him.

you snorted in response, “oh god mark, I beg to differ.” it may have been the small amount of wine in your system, but whatever spurred you to move closer to him was growing with every passing second, weakening your willpower. your knees rested against his leg as you now leaned against him, your chin incredibly close to resting on his shoulder.

his wide brown eyes looked down at you, and you watched his throat bob as you swallowed heavily, most likely a little nervous at your proximity. you smiled at him sensually, your eyes trying to convey as much of your emotions as possible to him.

“I think you’re very attractive,” you mumbled sweetly, not making any moves to get closer or touch him just yet, in case he wasn’t into this like you obviously were. considering you just outed that you thought he was cute, now was as good a time as any to just let it all loose.

“I think I like you, mark.”

he kissed you, which caused you to squeak in surprise. you quickly recovered however, and immediately threw yourself over him to straddle his lap, kissing him back with just as much fire.

it really shocked you; you weren't prepared for mark to have the balls to kiss you first, but you welcomed it, causing your core to grow hot at the thoughts of him doing more to you.

“I like you t-too.” he muttered out between kisses, his tongue finding your own as the two of you felt each other on the couch in the darkness of his grandmother's old house.

his hands held steady on your waist; every so often you would feel his fingers squeeze at your sides, but nothing much more than that.

you were growing insatiable at the point, your core aching to feel something against it, so you decided to take matters into your own hands.

“can I ride your thigh?” you asked breathlessly, pulling back from his lips to look into his eyes. they were tinged gold; little flecks of the color breaking up the deep natural brown of his irises. you felt his fingers squeeze your hips ever so slightly, and he nodded simply in response, his lips moving up timidly to connect with yours once again.

you situated yourself so that you were straddling one of his legs, the muscle of his thigh pressed right up against your already aching core deliciously. you sighed in content as you pressed against him, pulling your head away to throw it back in pleasure. mark didn’t hesitate to kiss your neck delicately, pressing small kisses along the column of your throat and around the sweet spots down near your collarbones.

your panties were soaked in seconds, and you were sure he could feel it even through the material of his black jeans, the two sets of fabric the only things separating you from feeling skin on skin.

you couldn’t help but begin to grind your hips back and forth, the delicious feeling of his hard muscle pressing against your clit making you almost delirious. his hands on you hips helped drag you back and forth against him, and before long you had built up a steady rhythm that had you weak and whining.

“mark,” you moaned out, catching his attention instantly. “mark I need you to fuck me,” you were panting, both hands on his shoulders as you borderline aggressively humped his leg, your eyes pleading and your lips parted in pleasure.

“fuck, okay yeah, yeah I’ll fuck you,” he stuttered out, hoisting you off of him with ease and maneuvering you onto your back below him, your core clenching at the display of his inhuman strength.

it was a battle to get as many articles of clothing off of your two bodies as possible, and in the end your clothes were thrown every which way around the room, leaving you both naked and needy in front of each other.

you almost cried when you saw his cock in the dim light, twitching in front of your very eyes.

“holy fuck, mark,” you gasped, eyes widening as you sat up on your elbows to get a good look at his raging cock. “you’re fucking huge, are you trying to kill me?”

he blushed sweetly in response but you caught the sight of his dick twitching, indicating that he liked the praise you gave him.

you sighed and laid back down flat, motioning for him to crawl forwards on top of you and he complied within seconds. you glanced down between your bodies to look at his dick once again, your brain still not comprehending his size.

you decided you didn’t want any prep. you wanted to feel every second of the burning stretch.

“you’re seriously gonna destroy me, mark.” you stated flatly, but you weren’t so opposed to the idea. in truth, you wanted him to annihilate you like the dragon stud you knew he was; no mercy, making you cry for his cock like a good little slut. you shivered at the thought.

“we can s-stop, we don’t have to—“ he began to say, but you slapped a hand across his mouth, much to his surprise. he looked confused, but didn’t try to remove your hand from where it laid on his lips.

you smiled, “that’s not a bad thing, baby,” you murmured, leaning up to trail your lips along his ear. “I want you to absolutely obliterate this pussy, you understand?”

it wasn’t like you to dirty talk in bed, but there was something about the way he reacted to your every word that had you more vocal than usual. before you could think, mark had your back pinned to the cushions once again, his eyes glowing a bright gold as they bore down into your own with an intensity you couldn’t hope to match.

bingo.

he grabbed his dick and quickly aligned it with your entrance, sliding in slowly and stretching you out at a snail's pace.

the stretch was gradual; you could feel every inch of him sinking inside you and the feeling sent a shock down your spine, causing your walls to involuntarily clench around his still moving cock.

you were grateful that he was patient and slow, not moving too quickly or harshly so that he wouldn’t cause you any pain. you let out a low moan when you felt his thumb press directly onto your clit, and the action surprised you. you didn’t expect mark to take the confident initiative like that, but you weren’t complaining as he started rubbing soft circles around the nub.

without warning, mark took your hips in both his hands and flipped you onto your side, his cock slipping out in the process as he laid behind you, effectively spooning your body. he drew in close, and you whined at the feeling of his thin tail coming up to wrap around one of your legs, helping his arm lift it up and keep in place so he had perfect access to your dripping cunt.

mark’s nose nudged against your temple as he leaned in, his lips softly placing a kiss on your cheek as you gasped for breath.

“can I have you like this?” he asked softly, still pressing gentle kisses against your skin. with a firm nod you gave him permission, and he immediately lined himself up with your more than ready entrance once again.

he slipped inside easier this time, bottoming out within seconds and making you squeak at the feeling. he waited for you to adjust, your twitching walls around him not letting up for the first minute he was inside you. once you relaxed enough, he began smoothing rocking his hips in and out of you, slowly dragging his cock against your walls as he fucked you.

you bit the throw pillow before you as you felt his tail tighten around your leg, tingles starting to become prevalent as he effectively cut off some of the blood flow.

you weren’t complaining.

“faster, please,” you whined out, your nails ripping into the pillow as he complied almost instantaneously. his hips postponed in and out of your dripping hole as best they could, his hips roughly slapping against the skin of your ass as he plowed you with all his might.

you bit back your screams as his land left your leg, his strong tail holding it in place as he reached around to play with your nipple, flicking and teasing the bud as he fucked you.

his tip ever so slightly bumped your cervix with every earth shattering thrust, and you threw your head back into his chest as he kept up his speed and rhythm.

“does it feel good, y/n?” he asked deeply, almost like a growl. the vibrations that you felt rumble his chest had your toes curling, and you could feel your stomach tightening as you grew closer and closer to your release.

when you didn’t immediately answer, you felt his teeth bite into your shoulder as punishment. you whimpered at the feeling, you pussy clenching around his still pounding cock.

“answer me.”

you could only nod your head frantically, your brain not working enough to process any words to spew back at him. he seemed content enough with your reply, and you were almost grateful that he didn’t force you to speak. you were sure you would have sounded like a pathetic mess.

if it was even possible at this point, he managed to pick up the speed of his thrusts, fucking you into oblivion until all you could do was moan out strangled versions of his name. before long, you were coming undone, your fluttering walls clamping strongly down onto his cock, causing him to seize up behind you with a roar.

you could physically feel the powerful spurts of his cum shooting inside you right up against your cervix, pairing it white with his seed. you moaned at the feeling, your body still twitching in his hold.

he gently laid your leg back down, his tail unraveling to reveal indentation marks in your skin from where it had been gripped. your thigh was especially bad, but you were definitely not complying, the sight causing your core to flutter once more around him.

you laid in silence for a while, finding comfort in each other’s breathing. he kept himself sheathed inside you, the warmth of him comforting as you laid with your back pressed up against his sweaty chest.

“...I don’t think this is what my grandmother had in mind when she asked me to house-sit.” mark suddenly mumbled into your hair, reaching around to delicately play with your fingers with his own.

you snorted weakly in response, chuckling a bit. “are you complaining?”

“no,” he hummed, clarifying. “i think this was the best night of my life.” he kissed your cheek then, causing you to smile. he nuzzled his face into the back of your neck, and you could feel the small grin on his face.

“thank you, y/n.”

you could only hum back in return, the swelling of your heart overwhelming your senses as the sweet voice of the boy you’ve been crushing on lured you into a deep relaxed state.

you wouldn’t trade this for the world.

848 notes · View notes

blossom-hwa · 3 years

Note

I don't generally request stuff and the reason why I am doing this is because I absolutely love your work, especially the Kingdom Series and the Mermaid!Younghoon and I am a little embarassed to put out my little imagination request out

But I would like to request

Sunwoo + colour lavender but could you make it best friends to lovers au too? (It is okay if you can only work on one part too!!! Whatever you are comfortable with)

Thank you so much! Congrats on your 4 years, and thanking for alllllll the amazing work you have put out!!!!! Really big appreciation for you and your writing!!! Ly❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

hi love! there's no need to be embarrassed at all about this - it's a lovely idea, and thank you so much for your kind words and the request! I hope you enjoy this token of my thanks for your support <3

4 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/The Boyz/Golden Child/Ateez member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

Title: Palette

Pairing: Sunwoo x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 1.8k

Triggers: none

"What color am I?"

The question comes on a hot day spent on the couch with the air conditioner broken, when everything feels like it's melting under the heat of the sun baking your apartment to a crisp. Somewhere in the building, a repairman is trying to figure out what's wrong.

You and Sunwoo, however, are melting into puddles on the sticky hardwood floor.

"What?" You shake yourself out of the blank state you’ve slipped into, staring at the empty ceiling. You've never spent much time looking at the ceiling. It's off white, maybe eggshell, a little cracked and blemished but not enough for you to say to no to the cheaper rent. Looking at it now, though, it's kind of ugly.

"You said Juyeon is yellow, like sunflowers.” He pauses. “Eric’s... green, I think. Sangyeon was red, Changmin was also green, but brighter than Eric. Right?”

Something tugs at the back of your mind, a memory of using your paints to describe some of your friends. Your eyes drift to the abandoned easel in the corner of the muggy room. You can almost feel the canvas melting off of it into a paint-splattered puddle on the floor. “Right,” you reply, wiping a bead of sweat off of your head.

“You didn’t give me a color,” Sunwoo says. You can’t spare the energy to look in his direction even though he’s literally right next to you, but you imagine he looks about as wiped out as you feel. “So I wondered.”

Colors. Yes, colors like the off-white eggshell of your ceiling, the blue of the sky outside...

What color is Sunwoo?

Orange is the first one that comes to mind, orange like a sunset, burning as it slowly dips under the horizon. Its rays wisp into the sky, fading in some places, intensifying in others, turning it into a mural of oranges and pinks and yellows, burning like the passion that fuels Sunwoo’s soul...

Oh, but yellow. Yellow exists - maybe not as golden as Juyeon’s yellow, maybe not as bright as the burning sun, but darker, deeper, like marigolds - orange mixed in, perhaps, but still yellow in abundance, like flower petals bursting into bloom.

You frown. Sweat drips down the side of your face, but this time, you don’t even notice. Orange and yellow - they’re right, but not quite right. Not exactly. Not yet...

Sunwoo’s voice interrupts your thoughts. “Still thinking?”

“Shut up.” You flail around a limp arm, smiling with satisfaction when it hits his stomach with an audible thump. “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

“You’re thinking about a color.”

“How long do you think it takes me to mix the exact right shade for each part of a painting?” You turn just enough to let him see your raised eyebrow. “Thinking about colors takes a lot of work.”

He grumbles but shuts up, eyes closing as he settles back onto the floor. You keep watching him though, follow the curve of his jaw down to his chin, tanned skin shiny with the sheen of moisture that seems to have covered everything in this tiny apartment...

Bronze comes to mind, warm, metallic, rich like the color of his skin. They made weapons out of bronze in the past - strong, steady, unyielding, like Sunwoo’s will to push past obstacles no matter how hard they seem at a glance. He could be a bronze statue, for all you know - he’s handsome enough for that, certainly some sculptor from the past would have been taken with Sunwoo’s looks if he’d been around and created a statue that would have lasted for centuries afterward.

But it’s warm. Too warm. And maybe it’s just because of the hot sun pouring into the room even with the shades drawn, but thinking about metal, about bronze, makes you feel like you’re touching a burning hot stove on a day like this. There have to be other colors, right? Other colors that aren’t bronze, green, pink, maybe blue -

Blue. You latch onto the thought. Not the color of the relentless sky, but maybe like the ocean - cool, deep, ceaseless in its flow but not overbearing until a storm comes, whipping the waves into a chaos of whirling water that slashes and swipes across the beach. Sunwoo’s a little bit of both, you think, the part of the ocean that goes with the flow, but also the part that gets a little angry, a little passionate, a little too worked up about some things sometimes.

But his anger isn’t quite blue. Not really. Sunwoo is quick to anger but also quick to calm when dealt with correctly. The storm builds up its rage and lashes out as long as it wants, but Sunwoo... no. He’s not that way. Not quite.

You stifle a groan. Is there any color that fits Sunwoo perfectly, then? Any single color on the stained palette next to your easel, any single color in the world? He’s too complex, too much of everything all at once - he could be blue, could be bronze, could be orange or yellow or pink, of all things - you could find a way to justify every single one but none of them would be enough -

Your gaze rises from his chin to his lips, and your mouth goes dry.

Maybe he’s red, like the first time you ever noticed the fullness of his lips.

No, don’t think about that. You squeeze your eyes shut tight before opening them as though that’ll erase the image of his lips from your mind. It was in high school - you’d handed him his water bottle after ten minutes of running laps and you’d watched him tip it against his lips so full and soft, and for a moment, you had let yourself imagine what it’d be like to have those lips against yours.

You force yourself to look somewhere else, anywhere, just away from the lips and the shade of red beginning to shimmer before your eyes. Red, right - your mind scrambles to turn its thoughts away - red - colors - that’s what you were supposed to be thinking of - not lips, colors -

Your gaze rises above the lips to Sunwoo’s closed eyes.

Only they aren’t closed anymore.

You can’t breathe. You literally can’t breathe - how long have his eyes been open? How long did he see you watching him like some stupid creepy stalker?

Did he realize you were looking at his lips?

“Done yet?” he asks, breaking the silence. Is it just your imagination, or do his eyes flicker down to your lips too?

Just your imagination. “Shut up.” Even the jab comes out weaker than you’d like to. You want to look away, but you can’t seem to do it - something’s rooting you where you are, eyes fixed upon his. “Give me a minute.”

“How many minutes has it been?” It’s just your imagination, just your imagination... “Is it really that hard? You thought of Eric’s in, like, a second.”

You’re too much, you think. Too many colors all at once. But instead of saying that aloud, you just swallow, like the idiot you are. “Let me think,” you say. Your voice almost cracks.

Red. Shades of red, beautiful red, the color of his lips, the core of the sun burning at sunset, smoldering embers on a dying fire splashed across the canvas of your vision. And yes, it’s almost perfect, almost there - you have his flaring temper caught in a color, now, but it needs something to cool it off -

Blue. Blue, like you thought before, the ocean and its ceaseless flow. Blue and red, blue and red, blue and red...

“Purple,” you whisper, too close to his lips. Rich, royal, the coolness of blue and the fire of red... “Some shade of purple.”

“Purple.” Sunwoo repeats the word with curiosity on his lips, almost like he’s tasting the color on his tongue. “Why purple?”

“I -” You swallow when the soft puff of his breath hits your face. When exactly did you two get this close? It wouldn’t take more than a few inches to close the gap between your lips. “I couldn’t choose between blue and red,” you say honestly. “You’re both. In fact, it feels like you’re a bit of every color. But purple... that’s the closest I can get without giving you a specific shade.”

“Which shade?”

Something clicks into place in your mind, and it is definitely not your imagination this time when Sunwoo’s eyes fall down to your lips.

The dryness in your mouth makes it difficult to swallow. You try anyway. “Give me a moment,” you murmur, heart beating unnecessarily quickly.

Think. Shades of purple. Do you go darker or lighter? Warmer or cooler? Is he magenta? Mauve? Violet? Your mind flicks as quickly as it can through the catalogue of colors in your mind. Cooler, probably - he’s more the ocean than the fire, more embers than a full flame - lighter, too, like a breath of fresh air -

A blast of cool wind gusts down from the vent. It’s gone almost as quickly as it comes, but it stays with you in the name of the color forming on your lips.

Your voice comes out like a whisper. It feels wrong to speak any louder. “I’ve got it.”

Sunwoo blinks. His lashes look so lovely, framing his eyes. “Really?” he asks, and you have wonder if he closed the distance slightly since the last time you spoke - the few inches that separated you before seem to have decreased to a mere centimeter or two. “So what color am I?”

There’s another blast of cool air. Neither of you reacts to it. Instead, as blissfully cold air begins to filter through the vents, impulse drives you to lean forward, to close the entire distance at last -

Sunwoo’s lips are softer than you ever thought they’d be. They feel cool and warm all at once, purple as a base but lighter, cooler, a breath of fresh air on your face after a horribly hot day spent in the sun.

“Lavender,” you whisper against his lips. “You’re lavender.”

You don’t offer an explanation, but he doesn’t ask you to elaborate, like he did with purple. It’s okay. You think he knows it. Feels it, at least, when you kiss him once more, fresh air washing over your bodies, painting the canvas of your skin in cool, blissfully cool strokes.

Lavender.

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pitaparka · 3 years

Text

when you want him to choke you headcanons

note — NSFW. this bitch is kinky. obviously. lost of choking references, a little breathplay at the end there. all of the boys are willing in one way or another because pedro plays them, alright?? i believe in my heart that that man is kinky as hell. good morning and good night. happy superbowl. fuck you tom brady. big love to every one else besides tom brady <3

warnings: choking, penetrative sex, breathplay

MANDO

- is stunned

- you want him... to do what??

- excuse me??

- choke you?? like, with his hands??

- in the heat of the moment you guide his huge, bare hand to the softness of your throat

- he can feel the vibrations of your whimpers against the webbing of his hand and he almost blows his load right then and there

- the idea that he can wreck you like that gets him excited

- the first few times it gets his adrenaline pumping, but then he really starts to want to get closer to you, pull you in closer, fuck you on his lap in the cockpit while the baby naps in the pod

- he finds it interesting, all of these kinks, and never gets bored of them, but he's a simple man

- he's just glad you want to share these experiences with him and provide such a stable source of pleasure for him in his life that used to be so devoid of it

EZRA

- finds it quite hard to choke you with one hand, but willing to oblige you

- he's afraid of putting too much weight on your neck, so he refuses to do it in any position where he doesn't have much control

- but he ends up getting really into it

- he finds it so arousing, the dubious nature of it

- he likes the idea of being so in control of you, being able to control your breaths, your breathing

- he quite literally has your life in his hands, and it gets him rock hard

- he likes to control your moans, cut them off with his hand while you're riding him, pretending like you two have to be quiet

- will definitely ask you to let him do it again sometime

FRANKIE

- frankie is a little taken aback when you ask

- but you're so needy, mewling and whimpering underneath him

- he squeezes your jaw hard, and presses his mouth to it

- his husky voice reverberates against your nerves, and his lips move passionately across your skin before his hand moves to tilt your head up for better access

- it's like he can read your mind

- just the right pressure, just the right grasp, and can easily read when it starts to become uncomfortable

- he loves the way you anchor yourself to him by grabbing his wrist, pushing him in closer and pulling him back when it becomes too much

- communication is super important for him, so being able to gauge when he's getting too into it and what kinds of pressure you like are vital

- he loves the way you moan when he does it, so eventually, he's going to ask you to do it to him as well

WHISKEY

- a bit more vanilla than you'd expect from someone so forward, but is interested in this particular kink you have

- he'll trace the shell of your ear with his fingers, brush the side of your jaw, play with you lower lip, before cupping his hand lightly to your throat

- he likes to see how you fit so well in his hand, the way you gasp and shudder for him when he forces your chin up to look him in the eye

- the way his lip curls up when he realizes how smitten you are for him, the way he could tell you to do anything and you'd probably do it with the heat of his hand flush against your neck

- you have to show him how to do it properly, in order to not crush your windpipe, but he gets the hang of it swiftly enough

- is very possessive, and WILL allude to it in public

- he'll wrap his arm around your shoulders, and brush his fingers up against your neck

- he'll say you have something on your neck and go to wipe it away, his fingers splayed down the side of it

- he smiles when he sees your goosebumps, and you know you're in for it when you get home

JAVIER PEÑA

- he likes to kiss you with his hand wrapped around your neck

- to feel your heartbeat through your throat

- if it speeds up when he does it, he knows he's doing something right

- when he takes you from behind, he likes tugging on your hair, wrapping a hand securely around your throat so you know you're not going anywhere

- he really likes it, actually

- he loves the feeling of pressing you impossibly closer into him

- he likes to admire your beautiful throat, when your chest is pressed up against his and he's fucking up into you

- he'll grab your hair at the roots, and pull back on it, to wrap his fingers securely around the base of your throat, keeping you there

- his hands find every erogenous part of you they can, so to have one more spot he knows he can get you off with, that's all the more pleasure from javi

MARCUS MORENO

- he laughs mischievously when you ask him to do it

- he likes to get your blood rushing to all the hottest parts of you first

- he plants wet kisses to your neck, his nose pressing hard into your skin

- the way you heat up for him, and get so excited when he does it

- his free hand finds a way between your thighs and the other one curls around your throat

- it's great for when you're getting too loud and he's afraid you'll wake missy or alert the neighbors, even

- he loves listening to you pant heavily after you're done

- he also loves feeling you dig your nails into his back when you orgasm and his hand is wrapped around your throat

- those scratches aren't terribly difficult to hide, and the idea that you've marked him up as yours is reward enough for indulging in your requests

MARCUS PIKE

- will be the most reluctant, as nobody has ever asked this of him before

- he's scared of hurting you, but you seem to get really into it

- he's in awe of you when you push his hand harder and harder into your neck, moaning and whimpering soft and broken from underneath his grip

- he's not actually the one in charge here, but with his hand wrapped around your windpipe, her certainly feels like he is

- he doesn't want to leave bruises, and definitely checks up on you after the sex or the make out session

- you tell him that he doesn't have to worry as much, but that doesn't give him peace of mind

- it's only when you gently introduce him to the receiving end of it does he understand

- he doesn't like it as much as when you're writing and moaning underneath him, but he figures that if you like it, and he's really not hurting you, he doesn't mind you wrapping his fingers around your neck sometimes

MAX PHILLIPS

- max has always loved your neck, nipping at it, leaving hickeys, pressing his fingers into the pliable skin there

- so when you beg him to choke you, to force all the air out of your chest, to wrap his long fingers around your throat

- he doesn't need to be told twice

- he loves it so much, he starts doing it without needing to be asked

- he presses you up against a wall, or pins you to the bed, and squeezes just enough for you to just barely be able to breathe

- he fucks hard when he chokes you

- you swear you almost pass out when he does it, but he allows you to pull his hands back if he's getting too rough

- he likes to feel your hands wrapped around his throat too, mainly because he doesn't need to breathe, so seeing you fall apart on top of him, seeing your hands wrapped around such a delicate piece of him, squeezing as hard as you can as you ride out your orgasm

- he loves nothing more than orgasms, necks, and good business. and two out of three isn't bad

MAXWELL LORD

- he frames your face with his hands, thumbs tracing your cheeks, and you almost melt at his soft touch

- maxwell is usually quite eager, but gentle in the best ways

- the best part about when he chokes you and fucks you at the same time, is that he subconsciously squeezes in time with each of his thrusts

- his arm frames your head and his face is so close you yours and you just can't help trying to moan around his hand

- he loves loves loves hearing you moan, so usually he'll let up to allow them to escape your mouth

- but then he's right back on it, because he knows that the more he does it, the closer you'll get, and the louder you'll be

- his rings dig marks into your neck, but you love the cold contrast to the warmth of his fingers

OBERYN MARTELL

- will most definitely choke you if you ask him to

- he likes to have you demonstrate for him just exactly how you like it

- your breath hinges in your throat when he takes your hand in his, and presses it underneath his jaw, right above his adams apple

- and you press into his neck and his eyes narrow before he take you and pushes you down onto whatever surface is closest so he can fuck you

- he lights a fire in your core that's impossible to extinguish without him

- he likes to come up from behind you, wrap his hand around your throat, and shove his hand into your pants or up your dress or around whatever you're wearing

- and he loves to feel you push back against him when he does it

- he knows he's got you right where he wants you in that case

- his fingers flex around your throat and he tries to cover as much area at once

- he believes in allowing you to be as loud as you want, since he wants all of dorne to know how good of a lover he is

- but if his fingers are wrapped around your throat, he doesn't mind swallowing all of your moans in a kiss

PERO TOVAR

- tries to choke you out with two hands at first

- you really gotta slow him down and show him the ropes

- sometimes he gets excited about it, other times he's less enthusiastic

- but he loves pleasing you, deep down inside that cold heart of his

- which is why he obliges the request

- once he gets the hang of it, its over for you bitches

- he's up in your ear, panting and whispering dirty things, downright filthy things

- and he squeezes your neck tightly, his fingers wrapped snugly around your throat

- you swear his one hand almost wraps the entire way around, his fingers are so long

- he prefers fast and dirty sex, so this kind of kink is right up his alley

- especially because of how rough he can be with you

- when you two get close, he starts squeezing tighter and tighter, until you almost cant breathe, and your release, when he finally lets go, is one of the best orgasms you've ever had

- which is how pero accidentally discovers his breathplay kink

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fucktheroyals · 3 years

Text

You know after reading and reading and reading peoples theories and the meta from before the spn finale aired and the meta writers reactions to the finale I think I have a theory of my own. We don't have any answers tho, so this is pure speculation. If you wanna add something to support or discredit any of this that's cool but there's too many things floating around. Know I dont have proof for this conclusion at all. A lot of what I say is just guesses based on previous facts.

This all came together in my head when I realized how much this finale REEKS of the original producers and who the show was originally for. It REEKS of Robert Singer. Like if the execs started saying they didn't want it, Robert Singer was the one pushing that the story was about the brothers. That kinda thing.

Then, I was thinking of the problems in this episode and it struck me these are all of Supernatural biggest issues and to be honest all of it feels completely deliberate.

Take the sexism for example, Supernatural in it's later seasons largely out grew this, we have Jody, Rowena, Donna, Charlie, Mary, Claire (and even a wayward sisters pilot with MORE women/girls) all making regular appearances. They're mainly good characters and mostly aren't there to hurt our boys. Rowena, of course, is the one outlier being very about herself but it's clear she still cares for them, I mean its part of her development. But they're all real, with character flaws just like everyone else. (And we have Death too and she was POC 😭 THANK GOD)

Now look at the earlier half of Spn, we have Ellen and Jo, who's appearances were far in between. There's Bela in season 3, recurring for quite a bit (5 eps), but she is a character that is only there for herself, definitely not found family (unlike Ellen & Jo), and she's got more episodes in season 3 than Ellen and Jo in season 2 who aren't seen again til season 5. The "fans" send in hate mail after hate mail to try to get these characters off, and eventually they are. Then there's Ruby who's character stayed for a whole two seasons and was a largely recurring character. Why does she get to say so long? She's a plot device. She's supposed to be there to betray Sam. She has to stay (plus Jared obviously likes her). But she's not just a character the writers like writing about. Same with Lilith. Obviously not as recurring but still a plot device. Did they get hate mail tho? You can bet on it. Why? because tHeY'rE gOnNa PuSh ThE bOyS (Dean and Sam) aPaRt ThE sHoW iS aBoUt ThE bOyS oNlY. Without even thinking about the hate mail, just notice how large the difference is from how women are seen in the earlier seasons to the later seasons. Misha got tons of hate mail too for being a character that could split up the boys (probably only being allowed to say because he a man, thanks sexist producers and execs).

Only after Castiel was killed off and then Castiel fans successfully (thank you guys) got him back on the show did the hate mail largely simmer, which means female character's were allowed to stay! Which has lead us to a show with a good amount of female characters. But can you imagine having to kill characters off time and time again because people keep complaining that the show is "only about the boys." Fun times really.

So now we get to this final and we see sexism. But it wasn't just the plain old regular sexism you find in the earlier days of spn. Because now, there ARE women to talk about, talk to. But this episode was DESOLATE women wise, unless they were used for plot (which is also sexist!). Small scenes, they're barely there. Women gets her tongue cut out. Random women from s1 gets killed. Sam doesn't SPEAK of Eileen. Nothing. No mention of any female characters from the boys mouths unless they were from/in this episode itself. That's WIERD. I know we've all said it. But that goes beyond forgetting about characters. I mean its SAM'S GIRLFRIEND for Christ's sake. There is NO REASON they couldn't have said Eileen's name. Notice how Sam's wife is just... faceless. This is literally an age old sexist trope. Like... one of the things about bringing Mary back to life for s12+ is that it takes this trope... of basically a generic mother, and gives her life and feelings, whether you like them or not, they're real feelings. They said Mary isn't just a mom she's a person. Mary's existence in the later half of spn is to fix this kind of female tropes that fall upon her character, to not let these her stay a 2 dimensional character. They said we should know she's more than just the mom who tried to save her kid. Do that is the exact opposite of Sam getting a nameless, faceless wife. The sexism of the old spn wasn't just brought back, it was completely amplified. It wasn't just accidental or some exec "fixing" the story it was DELIBRATE. Whoever wrote that, didn't do ALL OF THAT by accident. Because an exec or a producer who doesn't see the flaws in old supernatural isn't going to write it that deliberately.

Let's bring it back to s10 when Charlie was killed (singer was mainly to blame). Dead in the bathtub, age old classic of burying ur gays. If you were here you know people never let Supernatural live that down. THEY KNOW what bury ur gays means. Hell, Robbie Thompson left because of Charlie's death and you think the writers don't know what it means? I mean both Bobo Berens (especially) and Steve Yockey's careers are centered around LGBT+ storytelling and you think they don't know? They know. They know.

And Dean wasn't just apart of the bury your gays trope, it is so far BEYOND that. Dean being killed on a rusty nail/screw, the tongues ripped out, things that seemed to be meant for other people. Jensen's acting in the last two episodes was giving us "DEAN RECIPROCATES" but no one ever actually saying it. I think it's clear that Dean was killed for being Bi. They didn't address it for a reason, they just silenced him. His narrative was supposed to be about letting him be HIM for the first time, to say what his feelings are instead of having them miscommunicated, and instead of doing that, they just silenced him. And the more we look at this scene the more horrific it gets. The more it's a complete slap in the face and it's supposed to be. Some guy who knows nothing about the LGBT can't write a scene this horrific.

Some guy who knows nothing about Dean couldn't write a scene that deconstructs all of Dean's character development and gives Dean his worst nightmare. I MEAN DEAN WANTED TO LIVE HIS LIFE! THEY DIDNT HIDE THAT JOB APPLICATION (or whatever job related thing that was) IN THERE FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES THEY WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST SITUATION. Dean isn't Barney from HIMYM. If you watched HIMYM then you'll know Barney went from being a stereotypical ladies man and treating women terribly to being in love with a women and treating her right and working hard for it. The last episode of HIMYM (why its so bad) Barney's character development is thrown out and he's back to being a stereotypical ladies man. You don't need to know Barney's character very much to do that.

To kill Dean during a hunt his father never finished, to not have anyone at his funeral, to have Dean die young like his life didn't matter. Those are Dean's worst fears and you'd only truly know that if you watched the gin episode in s3, where they are basically laid out for you. You HAVE to know Dean's character to tear him apart like this.

This episode took all the core elements of the show and did a complete 180° the name of the episode itself is "Carry on" and Dean and Sam very much did not carry on. Sam grieving his entire life so that he good get to heaven and see Dean again. Dean being ready to live his life, despite the enormous pitfalls and learning to love himself only to be killed. "Family don't end with blood." Um.... it did in that episode either literally with Dean's death or you know BECAUSE NONE OF THEIR FOUND FAMILY WAS THERE. Not Jack, Not Cas, Not Eileen, Not Donna, Not Charlie, Not Jody, Not Claire... on and on we go. No one was there, nobody was even mentioned. Dean's funeral, no one even called that we know of. It was just Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean. And Bobby. Don't forget Bobby. But yeah Sam and Dean.

That's what the show is about right, the brothers.

Except it's not anymore. It hasn't been for years.

Cas not being there was deafening but it brought us to a major point. Becky. Becky's telling us about the terrible ending.

And many of us are wondering why would they literally tell us this is the worst ending and then... make it the ending.

Now before we move on, it very apparent many of you think Dabb doesn't ship Deancas. And Dabb doesn't care about the characters.

Say what you will about any plot holes in his writing, the point he is VERY GOOD at writing the characters, and giving us good ones.

Why do we know Dabb ships Deancas? (ill say when its cowrote, other wise its not) cowrote ep 8.02 - purgatory "I prayed to you, Cas, every night" "Cas, Buddy, I need you." "I have a price on my head, and I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – to keep them away from you." 8.08 Hunteri Heroici - Cas helps them hunt! 😊❤ Dean & Cas have a serious convo about why Cas doesn't want to see/go to heaven. 8.22 Dean's mad at Cas. Sam's explanation of why Dean should be easy on Cas: "It's Cas." Dean then points out how he'd knife anybody else if they did what Cas did. 9.10 - Cas comforts Dean when Dean can't take seeing Sam (Gadreel) being tortured anymore. Also tons of Cas. 9.20 (bloodlines) - Canonical couple parallel "I was there, where were you" 9.22 The angels make Cas choose between them and killing Dean and he "gave up an entire army for one guy" 10.09 Claire's reintroduction. Cas heavy ep. DeanCas date. 10.22 THE PRISONER - u know the ep where Dean beats the shit out of Cas but loves him enough to not kill him.

We COULD keep going but I think I've made my point. If Robert Singer is the guy that is like "the show is about Sam and Dean only" Andrew Dabb is the DeanCas shipper. And you could even say a Cas stan.

Notice! How in s13 for SEVEN episodes we have a story that revolves around Dean's grief about losing Cas. Notice! How often the stories in all these seasons have a focus on their relationship. THAT is Andrew Dabb. If it weren't for him doing that, we wouldn't be able to easily say after Dean's lack of a response to Cas' confession, that Dean reciprocates.

To me, when I was (binge) watching s12 for the first time, I thought damn this is really got a lot of DeanCas. So I went to look at who was in charge, who was writing. I saw Andrew Dabb, associated him with Deancas episodes, saw all the new writers, Bobo, and then I saw that Yockey is known for same sex stories and it clicked. Dabb assembled a team to give us Destiel. THAT WAS IN SEASON 12!!!!!!!!

The amount of people saying he's homophobic flabbergast me. Open your eyes! That isn't what's going on.

Imagine making a show and trying to right all the wrongs of Supernatural. Imagine trying to write the greatest love story ever told and you have the entire season planned out for it to end off beautifully, it may possibly be your greatest achievement when it's done and then boom. someone comes in and tells you you aren't allowed to make Dean bi or make destiel endgame, after he was most probably already given the go ahead.

Sure. You could imply he's bi or into cas still in a way. Still make nice-ish ending. just give everyone what the kinda want.

Or you could scrap the last season, nothing close to a canonical bisexual Dean Winchester or Deancas endgame in site. People can be done with it be happy with the show, continue to live their lives in ignorance as to how close they were to Canon destiel.

OR you can lead everyone to the very closest you can get them to what you were aiming for and then show everyone the ugly truth and reality. Light it all on fire. Burn the show to the ground in your wake. Try your darnedest to making these people's (the people saying no) pockets suffer. Show us, the audience, what happened. Show us what this show really is.

I've seen people talk about the ending being changed during covid but I dont think that happened. I think what happened was Dabb already had this season planned out before it even started. Obviously the details were wobbly but it was all lead up to this ending. Destiel endgame, Canon Bisexual Dean, whatever it was. They were ready to write the greatest love story ever told and then someone shut it down.

Imagine the pain that must have caused them to be told no when they already said yes. They must have been so excited to give this to us.

I think someone (some producers) told him what this show is "really" about. The brothers. Can you imagine, after being told no, some kinda bullshit like this is said to you: "Why aren't you bringing it back to the brothers, Andrew? that's what the shows about. What with all this homosexual stuff, you know the audience won't like that. Not really." Imagine the original producers pushing this kind of view on you. "You know when we started it was Sam and Dean. It should end with Sam and Dean." That kinda sounds like someone huh? huh.

So why give us a nice acceptable finale, when you can take every problem Supernatural's had either up front or behind the scenes and create a finale so incredibly bad that people don't want to watch it anymore.

Someone made a good point about how Sam was originally supposed to be the main focus (this isn't to put any hate on Sam or Jared). Dean and Sam are the main characters but Sam was supposed to be the focus and for Dean to have become the focus, must have annoyed the producers because... well here we are. They wouldn't listen to Jensen. The producers liked this ending. Jensen's opinion didn't matter to them.

In some ways, if this is really what happened, it can be seen as childish from Dabb. To hurt all of us like that. Yes, he's hurting the producers, the execs, the cw. But to hurt us? Yeah it stings.

But in other ways, if this is really what happened, this is Dabb showing us the muck and gunk under the shiny surface. The hate for Misha. The hidden hate for Jensen. The underlying sexism. The underlying homophobia. The people REALLY in charge don't care about us, they just want our money. He needed to open our eyes and free us, at least free the people that he was writing for. The people he sees that care about this show.

This is the ending the powers that be wanted and its a big fuck you for a reason. I dont think this is Dabb spitting in our faces for loving this show, I think this is him trying to get revenge for us.

But from here, you can see it how u want it. If this is really what happened, I'm not in charge of your emotions, if you wanna be mad be mad if you wanna be grateful be grateful. And you don't have to believe me either I said this is speculation.

Also, as for all of the rumors like there being shots to the confession scene that we didn't see, which Jensen himself implied, I think that might have been a last ditch effort to canonized DeanCas but obviously it was cut. Like the name change was pretty clear. As for Misha possibly having shot some stuff for 20 I dont know what to tell you. If it's true I dont know where the blame would lie.

I do think however, that if all this was the case, the writers were prepared to become villians here. I mean they told us the writers were villians with Chuck right? So. Who knows what went down so they could give us such a vile ending. It could've been the producers or the writers, who truly knows. I do think tho that people we "trust" did some pretty shitty things to push the narrative in certain directions so now one would see this as the actual ending that was coming.

So again do with my SPECULATION what you will. This was in no way meant to put Dabb on a pedestal or anything. Just meant to give a bit of perspective.

(Also Jensen didn't unfollow Dabb recently he was already unfollowed for years)

#15x20 wank #spn finale wank #spn finale meta #15x20 meta #Andrew Dabb #spn #supernatural #castiel #dean winchester #destiel #deancas #misha collins #jensen ackles #long post #sorry im on mobile #this is the longest post i have ever writen

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