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blackdchliia · 9 months

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"Say my Name."

summary: y/n l/n and inumaki toge have been together ever since they were first years in school together. now, as second years y/n has begun to grow distant with inumaki, instead opting to grow closer to inumaki's best friend, yuta okkotsu. Warnings: NSFW, Threesome, Voyeurism, Rough Sex, Porn With Plot, Impact Play, Inumaki Uses his Cursed Speech, Cheating, Switch Yuta, Dom Inumaki, Sub Reader, Reader Is Written With Female Anatomy, Slight Angst, Overstimulation, Cursing, Slight edging.

Truthfully, you did not know when your feelings for Inumaki had shifted. Honestly, it was hard working on a relationship where there was absolutely nothing to love about the other. Don't get me wrong, Inumaki gave you beautiful feelings of love for days on end--but you couldn't help it; your feelings just, disappeared. Much like water after a drought.

No matter how hard you tried to keep your feelings for Inumaki, you just couldn't. Every little thing he did had started to tick you off after about five months--and for almost a year now you had been putting on a mask in which you hid your true feelings for the beautiful boy behind. You supposed that this is how you found yourself in your current predicament. In the arms of your boyfriends best-friend; Yuta Okkotsu.

You knew it was wrong, that this would just hurt Inumaki more in the end, but truthfully, you couldn't help it. You've sent so many signals to Inumaki, that your feelings were long gone; it was his fault that he didn't seem to pick up on them, right? It couldn't have been your fault; it just couldn't have been. Yuta was a sweetheart, he treated you so well despite betraying his best-friend. You've spent nights in his arms, crying, begging him to help you break the news of your infidelity to Inumaki.

God, why couldn't he have helped you?

You were an awful human-being, and you were aware of it. Maybe that's why you were currently allowing Yuta to absolutely ravage you in your boyfriend's room, atop of his bed.

Loud moans echoed around the dimly lit room as you bounced up and down on Yuta's thick cock; your slick coated all around it, dripping down onto the satin bedsheets atop of Inumaki's bed. No matter how badly you knew you needed to stop, you just couldn't. It felt so goddamn good; his cock inside of your tight cunt--and the way he let out shaky moans against your ear as he helped you bounce up and down.

"F-Fuuck, Y/n--" His words were cut off as he let out a rather loud moan, throwing his head back as you took him all the way in. He felt so fucking good, his cock hit all of the right places inside of you, and you felt so fucking good around his cock. "R-right there! Fuck Yuta, right there!" He slammed you down harder against him, his hips lifting up slightly to reach deeper inside.

"Right there?" His voice was so whiny; so husky and whiny. A moan left your lips as you nodded, your left hand coming down between the two of you to rub at your clit in quick circular motions. "Yesss!" Moan after moan left your lips; you were practically seeing stars.

Yuta fucked you so much better than Inumaki, he hit all of the right places--it just felt so fucking good. Truthfully, you couldn't remember the last time that you came as hard as you did with Yuta; sure, Inumaki gave you orgasms, but they were never as good as the ones Yuta gave you.

A slap to your hand rubbing your clit brought your attention up to Yuta; who grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers together. "Y-you're squeezing me too t-tight, baby, don't wan' you cumming yet-" His voice was so hot as he leaned in to whisper into your ear. Just the sound of his whiny moans against your ear had you squeezing so fucking hard around his cock.

"Can't help it Yuta, fuck..I-I'm gonna cum-," You let out a high-pitched whine as Yuta stilled his movements completely, thin eyebrows furrowed as he gazed up at you. You panted, trying so hard to catch your breath before Yuta started up your movements once again, slamming you up and down on top of his cock once more. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed around the room as his movements grew quicker. God his cock was so fucking good.

"Fuck, quit squeezin' so hard, y/n."

"I can't stop," you moaned out, his dick was just so fucking good; reaching all of the right places inside of you. You couldn't help but squeeze around Yuta as he continued to pound up into your cunt, slamming you down to meet his movements. It wasn't long until Yuta let out a loud groan, sitting up to bury his face into your neck and biting down as he slammed up into you one more time, groaning loudly as spurts of his cum shot up into your cunt.

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head at the warm feeling enveloping your insides; gasping loudly as you felt your cunt tighten more around Yuta's cock, milking him for all he was worth. Fuck, you were so fucking close to your end, you just needed a little more time. You slowly continued to bounce up and down on Yuta's cock, trying so desperately to reach your end, all while overstimulating poor Yuta who let you do as you pleased--using his cock as your personal fuck-toy.

"I-I'm so close!"

Yuta only moaned in response, his thighs shaking slightly, muscles spasming, as he laid back on Inumaki's bed, allowing you to continue to ride his overstimulated cock to reach your end. You were so fucking close, your bouncing never once ceased as you chased your high, eyes rolling back into your skull once more and mouth hanging open as you felt yourself coming undone.

"Don't cum."

Your eyes shot open as you felt your release slowly fade away; you were so fucking close. Yuta shot up; eyes wide as he looked over your shoulder at who had spoken. You knew all-too-well who the familiar voice had belonged to--you could feel yourself freeze as you slowly turned your head, face turning red in complete embarrassment at the realization that you had just been caught by Inumaki, fucking Yuta in his own bed.

The male stood in his doorway; his silhouette barely visible in the dim light that came from his now opened door. His usually zipped-up mask unzipped revealing the markings on his face. Purple eyes stared right at where you and Yuta laid, narrowed and holding nothing but anger and betrayal inside.

"Fuck- Toge, it's not what it looks like!" You pulled away from Yuta, trying so hard to rise up from his cock. "Don't move." Instantly, your body slammed back down on top of Yuta, a loud moan left your lips and Yuta's at the feeling of his cock going back inside of you.

The door slammed shut, and all you heard was footsteps as Inumaki walked towards his bed. Yuta's black eyes were wide as he watched hopelessly as his best-friend walked to the edge of the bed, stopping as staring at the both of you, two people that he was supposed to trust, fucking. "I-Inumaki, I swear Y/n had nothing to do with thi-" Yuta was cut off. "Don't speak."

Purple eyes moved to stare right at your fucked-out face, slowly, Inumaki moved to the chair resting in front of his desk. He sat down, hand resting on the visible bulge under his clothes. "Fuck her." He was now staring right at Yuta, his left hand coming out to point at you as if he needed an indicator as to who you were.

You gasped as Yuta shot up, his hands wrapping around your waist and moving you off of his cock, only for a moment before he had you pinned under him on the bed, his chest flushed against yours as he slammed right back into your abused cunt. Your mouth opened in a silent scream of pleasure, eyes rolling into your skull as Yuta began to pound away at your cunt.

The sound of skin slapping skin echoed through the room, moans and whines leaving your lips, and groans leaving Yuta's, as Inumaki watched his best-friend fuck you. Having someone's eyes on you in as your cunt is being rammed into over and over again was such a turn-on that you didn't even realize you liked. Not once had you ever thought about having someone watch you as you were being fucked, not with Inumaki, and certainly not with Yuta. But fuck, did you regret it. Your head slammed back as your body was used as nothing but a fuck-toy for Yuta, mouth hung open in a silent scream as your eyes interlocked with Inumaki's.

Fuck, he was touching his own cock, staring right into your eyes as you were being fucked.

"I'm close again-" Yuta's voice broke your gaze away from Inumaki, your eyes shooting up to gaze at Yuta once more. Black orbs stared right into your own e/c orbs; his face was flushed red, sweat coating his forehead as he continued slamming in and out of you.

Not once did Inumaki stop watching, he was silent as his hand stroked up and down his cock, his pre-cum helping with his motions, watching your fucked-out expression closely as Yuta fucked you so good. "Cum on her," Yuta's head shot up, turning to stare at Inumaki with wide eyes as his body pulled out of you against his will, his cum shot out in white ropes all over your lower stomach and your cunt, coating it in his cum.

Your mouth hung open as you panted, revelling in the feeling of Yuta's come dripping down your pussy and your stomach, Yuta was panting, gasping for air as he moved to lay down beside you. You heard footsteps once more, and before you knew it, Inumaki stood over you.

"Get on your hands and knees; ass up."

Your body moved against its will; coated in sweat and cum as you shifted onto your hands and knees; your back arched, ass up and in the air. You could feel your cunt clench around nothing and fuck, you were sure Inumaki saw.

"T-Toge I swear... I didn't mean it-" A harsh smack to your behind caught you off guard. A loud gasp left your lips; eyes widening as you turned your head to gaze over your shoulder at Inumaki, who stood behind you, lining his cock up against your opening. Your mouth fell open once again in a silent moan as he rubbed his thick cockhead against your cum-coated pussy.

His tip bumped against your clit every now and then as he continued to rub himself up and down on you; a soft moan leaving his lips at the feeling, before his free hand came down on your ass once more, slapping it roughly. Another loud gasp left your lips; your eyes half-lidded as you turned your head and stared towards Yuta, who was watching both you and Inumaki with half-lidded eyes, his hand lazily ghosting over his half-hardened cock.

Inumaki continued to rub his cock against your pussy for another minute or so before finally, he slammed himself right into you rather harshly. "Fuck, Toge!" You screamed out as he began to relentlessly slam in and out of you; his cock ramming against your g-spot over and over again as he fucked you roughly.

His hand came down on your ass multiple times, slapping it over and over again and leaving multiple red marks-- and fuck, did it hurt. You could feel tears welling up in your vision as the pain and pleasure that were overflowing your senses. Fuck, you needed to come so fucking bad.

"Toge plea-" You were cut off by another slap to your ass. "Don't speak." He groaned out as his hips slammed against your own once more. you could feel your arms giving out, forcing you to fall face-first into the bed, ass still up as Inumaki fucked you so fucking good. Almost as good as Yuta, who was still rubbing his overstimulated cock slowly at the sight of you getting used by your now possible ex-boyfriend.

You could feel Toge resting his chest against your back, his hips slamming over and over against your own in a continuous assault of your cunt. Everything felt so fucking good; your body felt like it was on fire as Inumaki continued to fuck you over and over again.

The continuous pattern that Inumaki kept up of him pounding away at your cunt slowly began to turn sloppy, indicating that he was close to his release--You felt like you were going to burst; you really needed to cum. Another loud moan left your lips, eyebrows shooting up as Inumaki's hand came out from behind you, going down and beginning to rub quick circles on your clit; your wetness dripped down onto the bedsheets as Inumaki continued to slam in and out of your cunt-- the added stimulation and Inumaki's words; "Cum" was all you needed before your back arched, body shaking as you came, hard, all over Inumaki's cock.

A loud moan left Yuta's lips as well as he came once more all over his hand, watching as Inumaki slammed one final time inside of you before he came deep inside: his warm seed mixing in with Yuta's from earlier.

A moment passed as all three of you sat there, trying to catch your breaths before Inumaki slowly pulled out, groaning as he watched both his and Yuta's seed dripping out of you.

You turned your head once more, face flushed as Yuta sat up.

"Inumaki, Im so sorr-" Inumaki held a hand up, purple orbs staring at Yuta as he reached over to his nightstand, grabbing his medicine for his throat. "I don't care." His voice was so soft as he spoke, uncapping his medicine and taking a swig of it before setting it down on his nightstand once more. He soon turned his head to look towards you, eyebrows furrowing as he watched your fucked-out expression closely.

"We'll do this again, tomorrow. I'll show you how much of a whore Y/n can be, Yuta."

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the-common-cowgirl · 7 months

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Greater of Two Evils

Summary: Your brother is a powerful man and so is Aemond Targaryen. You’re caught as a pawn between the two men. You have to chose between two evils and unfortunately for you, you chose wrong.

Rating: Explicit, Minors Do NOT Read, 18+

Word Count: 4.3k

Pairings: Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader

Warnings: DD;DNE, Non-Con/Dub-Con, Choking, Rough Sex, smut (p in v, fingering, oral sex (f receiving) jealousy , possessiveness, incest-y vibes from brother, unwanted creampie, breeding kink, coercion, mentions of birth control/emergency contraception not being allowed/available to reader, Aemond wants reader pregnant, men being dicks, degration, praise, Capitalism and the Elite, swearing

A/N: This is a spite fic dedicated my first hate comment. I hope you wait even longer now. 💋

Not yet proofread.

Your brother was a powerful man. One of the most powerful in Westeros. Many say he didn’t deserve his position, both of you coming from near nothing, but your brother was born with a gift your parents would often say was a “creative and hungry mind.” He was 10 years old when he started a small lawn care business in the Riverlands that grew to a full-fledged company at 14 he (and your parents due to his age) ran. At 16, he sold that company, got an internship at River’s Corp. When he freshly graduated University in Oldtown as the top of his class, giving a speech that would be remembered as one of the best speeches Oldtown Univeristy had ever the opportunity of hearing, he asked if you would like to move to Dorne with him, get out of the Riverlands and have an opportunity at Sunspear University. Seeing the chance at freedom and knowing your brother would most likely be paying for your schooling (since he had just been offered a high ranking position at Sunspear Industries) you took his offer and moved in with him a week after you graduated high school in the Riverlands.

That was three years ago. Your brother is now CFO of Rhoynar Industries and you’re in your third year of University at Sunspear studying Political Science. When you first moved in with your brother, the first two months were happy and spent everyday in your high-rise apartment’s swimming pool. But your brother had changed, or maybe, he was finally able to let his true self free during his college days as many young adults often do and his personality shift just took you longer to notice. His controlling behavior started innocent, nagging at your to keep the house tidy, then turning into commenting on what you wore out, turning into full blown comments about your appearance, weight, hair color. He made you dye your hair color black, to match his own natural color. Long gone were your auburn waves but you didn’t notice it then, well you did, but you weren’t as disturbed by it. Telling yourself he wanted you to look the part of perfect sister.

But then, halfway through your first semester, he told you that your Early Education major wasn’t good enough for him. He demanded you change it and when you tried to argue, he simply took your laptop, reminding that he bought it, and emailed your academic advisor that you’d like to change your major and wanted to meet with them first thing tomorrow morning.

That should’ve been the straw that broke the camel’s back, you should’ve left that night. Packed your things and went back home to the Riverlands; be with your parents.

I’m every aspect of your life, you always fell short of the greatness of your brother: courage was not exempt.

That next morning, you went with puffy eyes to your advisor’s office and changed your major, dropping out of your current courses and signing up for secondary 8-week courses for your new major that would, in your brother’s words “thankfully start next week.”

You could easily summarize your life in Dorne these past few years: the Seven Hells.

All of this leads you to this moment. Your brother and you were invited to King’s Landing by the head of Targ Corp for an annual celebration they held for their most loyal alliance corporations. It was easy, your brother and his team of associate executives played a simple game: play nice with each other and keep everyone else from rising above. Being around these people made you want to vomit. These posh-assholes were some of the most dangerous and hateful people you’d ever laid eyes on, all wrapped in clothing that were one of their low-level employee’s entirely yearly salary. You didn’t want to be here, not a single bit, but your brother held the carrot stick of Univeristy tuition and free-housing over your head so you played along like the good sister you were expected to be.

You had just gotten out of the shower when you brother came barging into your hotel room without knocking, holding a garment bag.

“Hey!” You shouted, covering your naked self with a towel, “Can you knock next time?” You briefly wondered how he had gotten in, you made sure you locked it twice, then you saw the keycard he had kept for your room sliding back into his pant pocket.

“Wear this tonight,” he disregarded your fluster and laid the garment bag down on the bed you were sitting on.

Your brows furrowed, looking at your own brother with trepidation. He knew you had brought one of the black dresses you had picked out a month ago and he had agreed to it then. Why had he changed his mind so suddenly?

You slowly opened the bag to reveal a dark green, dress that showed off entirely too much skin than you were comfortable with around these vampires.

You began to shake your head, “No, I don’t want to wear this one. It’s cold out and I want to wear the black, long sleeve one I-“

You were cut off with a harsh hand grabbing your jaw.

“Wear it or we’ll see how long you can pay for that expensive schooling on your own.” He spat into your face harshly.

Once he let go, you brought your hand up to rub at your jaw where there might be bruises now. Your skin was sore and your bone ached. “You know what, maybe I don’t want to even get this degree. Maybe I’ll move back in with mom and dad and just fucking live my own life again.”

As you sat on the bed angrily with tears of resentment brimming your eyes, you could feel your brother’s stare on you, boring holes into everything he deemed imperfect about you.

“Do this for me,” his voice was softer, “And I’ll give you anything you want.”

You finally looked up to him, disbelief in your eyes.

He kneeled to reach your eye level, you wrapped the towel around you tighter, “There is a man here I need you to impress. Do this for me and I’ll give you anything you want. I mean it.” His hand came up to brush your nude knee, you moved away instinctively.

You swallowed your unease. “What’s his name?” Your voice was so small.

He smiled at your acceptance, if you willing to work with him on something, if you giving in. “Aemond Targaryen,” he stood, returning to his business-like self. “He’s the son of the CEO, Visery’s. Aemond is a year older than me and he’s in politics. We-“ he paused, smiling at a memory, “We met in University…..He never really liked me.” He looked to you, “He’s the last legislator we need on our side for this deal that Roynar Industries and Targ Corp. are working up.”

“He’s against Targ. Corp?” You sounded flabbergasted, wondering why a Targaryen, the most infamously loyal family in the country, is an against his family’s own interests.

Your brother nodded and laughed, “Yeah, he fucking hates his dad.” He chuckled to himself some more before, “I just need you to win him to my side.”

You heard the implication and you skin began to crawl, stomach turning, “You seriously want me to fuck him?”

Your brother shook his head and chuckled as if you were crazy, “Just win him to our side.” He walked up to you again, towering over you as you sat, uneasily at the edge of the bed. He raised a hand and tapped the side of your head three times, “Use that political science knowledge I paid for.”

And then he left, making you feel like a tool.

You dressed yourself in the green gown, put on simple yet elegant makeup, and wore your dyed black hair up with a silver sun pin that your brother had picked out in his words, “to honor Roynar Industries.” You only felt branded.

Making your way down into the large event room of the hotel in which Targ Corp had set up for the celebration, you were handed a glass of something in a flute glass. The waiter had told you, in truth, but you were too nervous and occupied with looking elegant that you hadn’t really heard.

You spotted your brother across the event space standing with someone Martel from Roynar Industries that has offered for you to go ride on his yacht with him at least three times. Then you could see he was with some silver haired man, probably from Targ Corp. The Targaryens were known for their loyalty, ruthlessness and silver hair. Targ Corp. was the most powerful company in Westeros, they had their hand in everything and could turn anyone’s head the way they wanted. Coming it second was Roynar Industries and the old saying, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” was prevalent in the relationship with the two corporations. They worked together in most large projects in Westeros and you knew the each of them was waiting for the other to fall.

You walked the perimeter of the event, scanning the crowd for someone you knew or the person you were after. Although, you had heard Aemond Targaryen’s name before you had no idea what he looked like. You used your context clues though and assumed he had silver hair, he was probably tall and lean like all Targaryen men are and most likely flirtatious.

“Great,” you breathe, remembering a girl from Sunspear a few years ago that recalled a horrible relationship with an older man by the name of “Aegon Targaryen.” One in which he not only expected sex from her, he cheated when she refused. You briefly wondered how Aemond was related to this Aegon.

“Are you looking for me?” A deep, soft voice sounded beside your ear. You stopped dead in you tracks and turned like a scared bunny to the stranger.

The stranger. The silver haired stranger who checked nearly all your boxes for the stranger you were searching for. Had he been right?

You gathered your composure quickly, “And you are?”

“I’m assuming the man you’re looking for if you’re his sister,” he pointed behind you to your brother who was not chatting up a dark haired lady and a curly haired man with a cane.

You gave a quick, nervous laugh and stuck out your hand, “Nice to meet you, Aemond. I’m Y/N.”

Aemond looked down at your outstretched hand between the two of you, his his eye flicked up to you. You realized then, only one moved, however, the other, the one that intercepts his scar, is quite realistic. He ran his fingers slowly across your palm before grasping it gently but not shaking. The act was sensual and strange, you tried to pull away but he quickly snaked his hand up your arm and wrapped his large hand around your bicep, pulling you closer to him. He leaned in, “Aren’t you tired of being a pawn for your brother?”

You pulled back to look at him square in the face, at his perfect, angular face that was so sharp. “What the fuck do you mean?” You whispered, wondering what all he knew and how.

“I think you know exactly what I mean.” He whispered into your ear. If you had not been in the edge of the event, you two would be quite a spectacle to behold but someone, this man, this stranger, had planned this. He had to. You were both in the shadows, the outskirts, not to be seen unless looked for and Gods, you hoped someone would look for you. He made you uneasy, uncomfortable, and warm in places you shouldn’t be given the circumstance of your situation. He looked down to your cleavage, “Tell me, did he pick out this dress? This color?”

You furrowed your brows, trying to figure out how Aemond knew this. “Wha-“

“Did he tell you that him and his colleagues have a bet if we’ll fuck tonight or not?”

You looked back to your brother who was laughing with some of his associates from Roynar Industries. “How do you-“

“I have eyes and ears everywhere, I’m two steps ahead of him and always have been. He has such a problem being number two doesn’t he?” His voice was thick with hatred and his grip on your arm was bruising.

“Get the fuck off of me!” You just about screamed, pushing from Aemond. He let go and took a step back, look at you up and down. He resembled a wild predator, maybe that’s what he was. You smoothed your dress, “Fuck you, you stupid bitch,” you spat angrily, adjusting a strap of your dress. “I was just told to be friendly with you. I’m not a sex worker you ass! I wouldn’t fuck you in a million years.” You downed the alcoholic liquid in the glass before setting it on the ground at your feet. Aemond only watched you with a newfound amusement. It made you angrier. “I’m only helping my brother out until I graduate then it’s fuck this place, fuck Westeros and most of all….” You looked him up and down, finally realizing that he was goddamn handsome, dangerously so, if his personality wasn’t so off-putting, “fuck you.”

You stormed away before he could say anything back. You didn’t want to be here anymore, you wanted to return to your room and cry into your pillow until you fell asleep. You were angry and hurt. How could your brother set you up like this? How could a complete stranger be so fucking brash and horrible? How could you be so stupid to believe your brother’s hunger for power would never come to this? Setting you up for his own benefit?

You’re certain your brother saw you in your way out of the venue, he always has tabs on you, but you knew he wouldn’t rush to your aid or to scrutinize you in front of people he wanted to look good for.

You slam your hotel room door and sink against it, hands over your face, crying on the floor. You sit like that for some time before a knock vibrates against your back and rings in your ears.

“Go away,” you try to say through sobs.

The knock comes again.

“I said go away!” Your shout this time is uncomely for a young woman you could hear your brother say in your head but you don’t care.

“It’s Aemond,” come the voice from the other side of the door.

The raises a fire in your heart as you angrily fling the door open to see the posh, pissy man from before. Mascara is running down your cheeks and your hair is falling out of its updo but you don’t care. “Go away,” you remind him dangerously, beginning to slam the door he puts his foot in the way and hand stopping you from breaking his foot ever so casually.

He pushes the door open with ease and steps into the room, making you step back and further. “We both have a problem and I’m here to propose a deal.”

Your brow quirks and your arms cross, “A deal?”

“A deal,” he echos. “I propose that you and I team up, I’ll offer you whatever he did, you offer me information to take your brother down and out.” He takes another step toward you and you take a step back in response, feeling the back of your legs hit the bedside.

“Why would I agree to that? I’m already getting my college paid for and a place to stay during. Why would I agree to everything I have in turn for you to ruin my brother? He’s horrible but I still love him.” You shook your head, “He’s done a lot for me-“

“I can offer more.” He moved in closer, making you lean uncomfortably against the bed.

“I don’t know you-“

“I will offer you more. You can get to know me, we can form a partnership. A friendship you could call it.” His voice was suggestive.

“Your offer of more is a friendship? I don’t need-“

“I can fuck you, can he?”

His words slapped you across the face. “What?” You mumbled like a dumb baby, confused and shocked. Maybe a little turned on.

Aemond brought his hands up your side and pushed you down to sit on the bed, he kneeled down and kissed the inside of your knee. Everything felt so wrong but he looked so goddamn handsome, you wanted it even if you said you wouldn’t fuck him.

“They have a bet, they want us to fuck.” He explained, “Let’s do it, prove we are into each other. You feed me information on him and the legalities of Roynar Industries.” He kissed your other thigh, you leaned back slightly involuntarily, it had been so long since a man had touched you, your brother wouldn’t allow you to date. “And I’ll slowly give you an out.”

Your breath hitched as his long, slender hand reached under your silky dress and trailed its way toward your core. “Slowly?” You questioned him breathlessly as his his thumb found your clothed clit on contact and began working against it. You could feel wetness pooling as he worked you open and your thighs began to move accommodate him as he moved closer and his other hand slid the dress higher and higher.

“Yeah sweetling, it’ll start with dates, then you staying at my flat in King’s Landing, then moving in.” Your dress was high enough to show off the lacy, black panties you wore and Aemond groaned, making you clench and buck your hips up to meet his ministrations.

“Sounds-sound like,” you were breathless and drunk on the attention he was giving you, “you want more than a fucking spy.” You fully laid back and lifted your hips so Aemond could pull your panties down your legs and off.

He ran a dexterous finger though your folds and watched it disappear into you with ease as you moaned. “Yeah maybe,” his voice was husky, “maybe I like putting your brother in his place. Second to Aemond fucking Targaryen. Always has been, always will be.”

He added a second finger, moving dangerously against your g-spot and the coil in your lower abdomen began to tighten. You lifted your back off the bed in a silent scream as he added a third finger and his mouth sucking at your clit. The intense and sudden pleasure gave way to a sharp, nearly painful orgasm and Aemond fucked you right through it.

When the wave of pressure came down, Aemond lapped at the wetness he expelled from you on your cunt and on his own fingers, moaning at the taste.

You laid on your back, trying to regain your senses and trying to remind yourself you were fucking a complete stranger, you should stop here before it was too late but you snapped out of your senses as he rose, half nude already and unzipping his black dress pants, pulling them and his underwear off in one swipe to reveal the longest, thickest cock you’d ever seen. The idea of taking such a thing inside you made you nearly swell with pride and excitement at the opportunity.

Aemond saw the look on your face and gave his hard cock a quick stroke. “Are you on birth control?”

You shook your head, “He wouldn’t let me, said the side effects are too dang-“

“Well I don’t have a condom,” he said, climbing atop you and pushing you up the bed, not giving you a choice, another reason to get the fuck out now. “I’m clean,” he offered before biting your collarbone then kissing the bite mark.

“I’m-I’m clean.” The voices in your head telling you to get out now.

He moved to the other side of your head and kissed your neck sensually, “You want me to fuck you raw?” Practically growling into your artery as he thrust the tip of his hard cock to your clit, making it harder and harder to say no.

“Uh, just, uh, pull out?” You squeaked as he did it again. You just wanted the fucking thing in you already, stretching you out in the way you wanted.

You felt his smile against your skin, “sure thing sweetling,” it sounded unconvincing.

You felt the tip breach you slowly then push forward even slower. Aemond raised to watch himself split you apart, groaning as you pussy sucked him in with a need unknown to you.

When he finally bottomed out, jutting painfully against your cervix he gave you a sound to adjust and gods, was he fucking endowed. You felt his cock throbbing with need and you wanted to please him, to let him know you were worthy so you bucked you hips against his and let out a moan at how fucking full you felt.

He only chuckled darkly and began his rough assault on your cunt. Pounding without warning or abandon into your heat, pushing your thighs to your chest and bending you in half, positioning you in a way that had him hitting your spot over and over until were moaning his name and your pussy began to flutter.

“Slow-slow down,” you pleaded, it felt like too much.

“Oh, poor little sister can’t fucking take it?” He once slammed extra hard after his demeaning question, it made you shriek. “Poor baby,” he wiped a tear forming in your eye with a sarcastic worry. “She played with the big dogs and didn’t know what she’s in for-“ he grunted, “you should be lucky I’m not fucking you in the ass.”

He pulled your dress down, ripping the shoulder straps to reveal you tits. Smiling like a wild man, he grasped them both harshly before sticking his tongue out and licking each nipple back and forth, making you squirm and tighten around him. “Fuck,” he groaned.

Then, as if a lightbulb went off, he pulled out and flipped you over, pulling you to your knees and ripping your dress and destroyed bra from your body. He entered you harshly again and pulled your back to his chest. His mouth on your ear, nibbling then biting, “I need to make you mine. Announce your brother who you belong to- who owns you now.”

His hand traveled down your belly to the bulge of his cock outlined in your lower stomach. “Do you feel me? Do you feel me up there? Feel me practically in your womb?”

You could, it was painful the way he bullied your cervix but the way he pleasured your sweet spot made you clench and fight off an orgasm that waited to burst.

He laughed into your ear, “Fuck, cum on this cock, I know you need to. Come on me and I’ll give you what you need.”

What the fuck did he mean what you need?

But that didn’t matter, he brought his hand to play with your clot as his pounding continued and you couldn’t fight off the orgasm anymore. Your body tightened and the coil snapped, pulsing around his cock, milking it, you screamed his named and he pinched your nipples as you came on his cock.

I’m your haze, he slowly let you fall to to bed as your ass remained up, his hands firmly handing you in place. “Such a good girl. A better girl than I’d thought you’d be. Oh, a perfect girl for me.” His pounding was relentless as he chase his own high.

You barely registered him saying, “Oh gods, we’ll be perfect together,” before you felt him still behind you, then the pulsing of his cock as warmth flooded you. He let out a groan, a triumphant groan, as he came inside you.

A shaking sob left you as you realized you’d been tricked, betrayed again, used again.

He stayed inside you for some time before pulling his softened cock out and putting on his clothes. You collapsed onto the bed, feeling the evidence of his orgasm slowly slide from your body. You grabbing the pillow ahead of you and hid your face in it. That was, until you felt his hand caress your nude back and the bed shift with the weight of him sitting beside you.

“Hey sweetheart, it’s okay. Don’t cry. I need to know you’re gonna remember our agreement.”

You furrowed your brows, “Fuck you, there is no agreement anymore. You lied to me.”

Aemond chuckled and pushed a strand of hair from your face, “Think of it as the lesser of two evils. Marry me and have everything you’d ever wanted or keep being a pawn for your brother.”

“You’re nuts if you think I’d marry you after a single fuck.”

He looked back down to your thighs, where his seed slowly seeped out, then back to you with a smug grin. “I think your brother would kill you if it was all over the press that you suddenly fell pregnant and unwed. We all know he’s a religious freak now.”

You furrowed your brows, “I’m buying emergency contraceptive as soon as you leave this room.”

He chuckled, “I’m not leaving then.”

“Who said I’ll get pregnant anyway?” You were angry, so angry you couldn’t make sense of his hand sneaking up your neck, holding it tightly.

“My father owns the press. If they say you are, then you are. Imagine what your mother would think, your father? Oh, your reputation would be ruined and your brother would be embarrassed of you.” He grit through his teeth, “And I’ll have people watch you, I already do. They give me updates, they follow you, they’ll know, I’ll know if you are. And then,” he let go of your neck, “You won’t have a choice. I won’t give you one.”

“You’re a fucking psycho.”

He chuckled, running his fingers along your arm, “I’m the easy choice. I’ll give you everything, just give me yourself.”

#fanfic #house of the dragon #a song of ice and fire #gameofthrones #smut #aemond targaryen #game of thrones #aemond x you #aemond one eye #hotd aemond #aemond fanfiction #aemond smut #aemond x reader #house of the dragon aemond #aemond #prince aemond #hotd modern au #hotd smut #hotd fanfic

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sleepysnk · 11 months

Text

a/n: this is a repost. i hope y’all enjoy! <3 also sorry if my characterization of oliver is ooc or weird!! i tried my best </3.

pairings: oliver aiku x fem!reader

warnings: college au, friends with benefits, mentions of hookups, alcohol consumption (they’re not drunk tho), reader n oliver have feelings, possessive behaviors, mentions of jealousy, brief mention of sae itoshi x reader, nsfw, smut, jealous sex, slight exhibitionism (they’re at a party), bathroom sex, use of pet names (baby, my girl, babe, princess), dirty talk, very brief choking, creampie, rough sex.

synopsis: you and oliver had been hooking up for several months. your agreement with one another was never meant to be taken seriously by any means, but all of that begins to change a few months in and when oliver sees you talking with his roommate, sae, he can’t help but want you all to himself.

are you mine? ft. oliver aiku

The sight of multi colored strobe lights dancing along the walls of the party you were at filled your vision as you walked through the crowds of people around you. The music was vibrating throughout the house, making it unbelievably hard to hear inside of the living room you had now entered.

You were currently searching for your friend that had disappeared into the loads of people who attended the party. Isagi always had a habit of wandering off with his other friends and finding random girls to flirt with. However, that didn’t stop you from having a good time at the party you had been invited to. It was one of the more popular ones that were held off campus. You felt kind of lucky since these events were usually pretty private depending on the person, but you were one of the people who had received an invite from the man who was hosting it himself. Kunigami never failed to throw some sick parties. He always knew how to get people hyped and provided the essentials to make a party fun. Drinks, marijuana, etc. He knew it all and always had a guy for anything that was requested at the party.

Not to mention, the place he owned was huge and there was always enough space for masses of people to attend without the rooms feeling stuffy. Though, that was sort of inevitable considering that it was nearing the end of the semester and summer was approaching. It would be humid inside the house no matter how much space he had.

You turned the corner and scanned the room for any signs of Isagi. There were so many people inside the kitchen that it made it almost impossible to differentiate who was who, but it was obvious that your friend was nowhere in sight. It sort of disappointed you, but you didn’t want to spend the entire evening by yourself. There were all kinds of people at that party and you didn’t want to run into the wrong person on your own. You figured you could message him and find out the details of his location. He couldn’t have gone very far, right?

You were about to pull your phone out of the waistband of your skirt, but halted when you saw someone you knew very well standing just a couple feet away.

Oliver Aiku, your friends with benefits.

That’s what you’d like to call him.

You and Oliver had been hooking up for several months prior to the party you were at. He was one of the first guys you met during your second semester of college, and you both clicked the minute you came across one another. Oliver was a sweet talker. He knew how to get you flustered and your cheeks burning. One thing led to another, and you both hooked up that night with each other. He made you feel like you were on the moon from how great the pleasure was. He also made you cum at least twice the entire evening, and that was a first for you. Most of the men at your campus never knew what the hell to do with their dicks, so it was a surprise to see that Oliver knew what he was doing. It was like he was already familiar with your body and he did everything to make you feel so fucking good.

It didn’t end there, though.

You saw Oliver more than you had anticipated. He would sometimes appear at the dining hall you were eating at, or he would be walking around campus with his friends. Each time, he always made it known that he saw you. Whether it was a smirk or a little wink that no one else noticed but you. He was attractive. He was fully aware of what he was doing, so you gladly gave in the next time you saw him at another party. You ended up having sex with him yet again and it was even more erotic than the last time. He was just too hard to resist and you often craved him more than you liked to admit. Oliver Aiku had become an addiction you couldn’t get over, and he felt the same way about you.

He was the one who proposed the idea of a hookup agreement with you. He told you that he couldn’t stop thinking of you on a daily basis, but he wasn’t searching for something serious like a committed relationship. You felt the same way on the topic and agreed to start a friend with benefits with the man. It was just casual sex. Sometimes you’d call him up to let him eat you out until your voice was almost gone from how hard you had been screaming his name, or he would be the one to reach out to you for some head. It was simple.

Well, it was supposed to be.

As the months went on, there had been a connection formed between you both. Neither of you had the courage to drop the bomb on each other, so you both remained silent on the feelings that brewed inside you both. It wasn’t supposed to be anything serious, and you knew that. However, you just couldn’t help but feel a tug inside your chest whenever Oliver would be speaking with another girl in front of you. You knew he was free to do whatever he wanted, but you just couldn’t shake that feeling. Oliver wasn’t yours and you weren’t his, so that same topic applied to you as well. Though, there wasn’t anybody else like Oliver. Nobody could fuck you better than he did and you tried to find someone who could, but you never found that person. You figured at some point he would get bored and just find someone better. To be fair, Oliver was quite relevant on campus. He played soccer for the university team and he had a lot of friends. He was bound to find someone else and you would just end up as strangers.

Seeing Oliver at the party was no surprise. He was everywhere and he’d definitely make a move to speak to you. The fact that you two knew one another wasn’t a secret, but nobody was aware of what you did behind closed doors with him.

You were standing there for way too long. It didn’t take a while for Oliver to shift his gaze onto you. Once his eyes latched onto you, that familiar smirk made itself on his features. Your cheeks burned the moment you made eye contact with your sneaky link. He was around a few of his friends, but he could care less for the mindless conversations they were having. All he could focus on was you.

His eyes explored your body that looked absolutely perfect in the dress you were wearing. It hugged all of the right places and showed off everything he loved to see. Blood was rushing to his dick already and it made him shift around to hide it. Oliver was practically undressing you with his gaze and he couldn’t get enough. He decided to send you a text to get the memo through to you. He didn’t want his friends becoming suspicious of his sudden absence, so sending a message would do just fine to him.

The moment you saw Oliver whip his phone out of his pocket, you knew what he was about to do. He had done it plenty of times before. It was like a secret code shared between the two of you.

Your phone vibrated, bringing your attention down to your device. Oliver had sent you a few messages and you decided to read them rather than ignore them.

Oliver: come here

Oliver: you look so pretty <3

You looked up at Oliver who was leaning against the countertop with his drink in his hand. He honestly looked kind of dumb standing there, swirling it around like he was at a bar but regardless you began to make your way over to him. There were several people who passed by you on the way there, but you eventually made it to Oliver who seemed very happy to see you beside him.

Oliver could be such a tease sometimes. He liked to mess with you in so many ways and you honestly never got tired of it. Though, sometimes he did get on your nerves. He would drive you nuts by telling some weird jokes or even making shitty pickup lines to make you laugh, but he did it all to see you crack a smile. That pretty grin only deserved to be made by him, nobody else. He never liked to admit that he was possessive over you, but at times, it was very fucking obvious. There was an occasion where he gripped the steering wheel a little too tight when you mentioned a male classmate that had been asking you to study with him for a test. He never liked when other people had their eyes on you. It was kind of wrong of him, but he just couldn’t help himself. You were just too delicate to let some random guy mess with you or your heart for that matter.

Once you were next to him, his friends didn’t really bat an eye. They were well aware of you and didn’t usually care that you were around. You were thankful for that because sometimes guys could be so weird about that kind of stuff. Luckily, they were fairly chill and never really said much besides a hello or a how are you.

Oliver turned his head to meet you. His eyes shifted towards your pretty lips that were shiny with lipgloss. He was so tempted to makeout with you right then and there, but he had to keep his cool and act right. He didn’t need you to become a mess because he was trying to kiss you in front of his other friends. “How’s your night been so far, babe? Got anything interesting to tell me?” he took a sip of his drink, raising a brow at you once he finished asking the question.

You shook your head. To be honest, the party hadn’t been quite eventful at all. It was the same usual shit you had been used to since you were a freshman in college. “No.. not really. It’s been the same old shit.. you?” you cocked your head to the side.

Oliver nodded, acknowledging your words loud and clear. He thought the party would have been more lively since it was getting kind of late, but much to his surprise, there hadn’t been much happening at all. He figured at some point he could bounce and have some of his own fun with you. You two had done it plenty of times before and it was much better than sitting around drinking the entire evening.

He was about to open his mouth to speak when an idea flowed into his brain. He wanted to pass some time before he left the party, and since you were there, he wanted to mess around with you for a little bit. It wasn’t something he wasn’t used to doing. There were many times where he would poke fun at you until you had no choice but to smile at him from how stupid or corny he sounded. It was nice being able to do such a thing with you, so he figured he would give it a try since seeing you laugh made him happy. It would help take his mind off of how dry the party had become since he arrived there just an hour or two prior.

He let out a sigh, crossing his arms over his chest. This made you turn to look at him with curiosity written on your features. He then started glancing around at the different people who were wandering the party house. “So, you see anyone you want to sink your teeth into tonight?” he questioned, turning his head to look at you. “I have my eye on a few.. but I wanted to know if you were interested in any new prey.”

His question took you by complete surprise. Oliver wasn’t really the type to brag about those kinds of things to you. He never really mentioned them before so it was odd, but it kind of bothered you to have him bring it up like that so casually. You weren’t sure what he was trying to get at. Did he want some kind of reaction out of you? It was weird. The other fact that he mentioned he had his eyes on someone else made your chest tug with hurt. It was stupid to feel that way about a guy who you referred to as your “sneaky link” but you couldn’t help but feel that way.

You had to put on a facade and just tough it out. It was just Oliver. Guys like him could get a little airheaded and not realize what they said. You wanted to play at his game too. You didn’t want Oliver to get away with something like that, so you would test the waters on your next response. “Actually, yeah, I do. He’s around here somewhere,” you crossed your arms over your chest, searching the room for a guy you could point to.

Oliver was stunned to hear your response to him. He didn’t think you would take his words so seriously, but hearing that there was a possible suitor lurking around at this party had alarms going off inside his head. He began to wonder who it could be. Could it be Isagi? He was well aware that you two had a friendship, but maybe there was something else going on behind the scenes that he didn’t know about. He started narrowing down the options inside his head and wondered who else could be there. He surely regretted asking you such a question, because it was honestly a joke if anything.

“Wait, what? Who-“

“Oh! There he is! Gotta go!”

He was interrupted the second you walked away into the crowds of people that were formed in the living room. Oliver watched you disappear for a brief moment, but his eyes quickly caught on to where you were standing. You weren’t alone anymore, but the problem was who you were beside.

His own roommate, Sae Itoshi.

The thing that struck Oliver by surprise was that he never knew you were connected with Sae. As far as he was aware, you two had never come into contact with one another. It made him question a lot of things. Did you know that Sae was his roommate? How long had you two been speaking with each other? Did Sae know he was fucking you for the last few months? He didn’t have a single answer to any of them. The times Oliver brought you over to his apartment he made sure that Sae wouldn’t be there. There was never a time where he would encounter you at his place, so how the fuck did you know him? He knew the kind of person Sae was and he could gladly get any girl he wanted into his bed, but Oliver didn’t want you with him. There was no way he would allow that shit to happen. He adored you too much to let you slip through his grasp like that.

He sat back for a second, watching your every move intently. He didn’t want to dart over there and make a scene, but he just couldn’t shake the feeling he had inside his chest.

Usually, Oliver wouldn’t bat an eye at things like this. He doesn’t get angry like this. Not at you, more specifically. He was well aware that there weren’t romantic feelings involved in the relationship you had, it was physical. Yes, it was all physical and there was no emotional connection between you both. He isn’t mad, there is no way he is mad at this or at you over this matter. However, he just couldn’t explain why he felt that green sensation coming over him. He couldn’t hide the scoffs when you laughed at Sae, or the way he would roll his eyes when you smiled a little too long at his roommate. He wanted to know most of all why the hell he wanted to storm up to you and Sae and pull you in for a kiss so he would see it. He wants him to know you belong to Oliver, not him. But he doesn’t, because he doesn’t feel that way. Right? Right.

He finished the rest of his drink, clenching his jaw when he saw you get just a bit too close to his red haired companion. He hated feeling emotions like this. He was so powerless in that situation it made him almost crush the solo cup he held in his right hand, but he had to keep his cool. You weren’t his.

Oliver pulled his phone out of his pocket. He had too many questions for his own good, and he just wanted to know the basics. It would be nothing too intense, so he began typing a message to you. There were a few times where he would delete the text on his screen, but he eventually sent a few to you. He hoped you would see it, but seeing as you were too distracted in Sae, he wasn’t sure that would even happen.

Oliver: baby

Oliver: i didn’t know you knew sae

Oliver: baby answer me

He noticed that his drink was empty as well, so he decided to get a refill real quick. If this went south, he knew damn well he was going to need a few to keep himself from losing it that night.

He turned to the side, grabbing a bottle of liquor to pour into his cup. The stench filled his nose and made his mouth water from the desire to taste it. There were so many options at that party that he wasn’t sure what he should have, but he stuck with something simple instead of going crazy. He had to drive himself home that night and he didn’t want to get too intoxicated.

Once he turned back, he almost dropped the cup in his hand. Your placement inside the living room was now gone and you were nowhere to be seen. Sae was also missing. The horror soon washed over him and his feet moved on his own to find out where the two of you had gone. He prayed deep down that you were just by yourself somewhere in the house and not in some random bed with Sae. No, there was no way you were about to fuck his roommate.

He then walked around and might have shoved a few people in the process, but he could care less about what they had to say. He passed by the speaker that had music blasting from it which sort of deafened his ears for a brief moment, but that didn’t stop him from walking around the house to find you. Oliver then halted when he saw Sae standing in another part of the house. He was standing with a group of other people who were unfamiliar to Oliver, but he was relieved to see that you weren’t beside him at the time. Though, that begged the question of where the hell were you right now? He hoped that you were safe, but that was completely uncertain at the moment. All of his attention went to Sae, though. He couldn’t hide that he was kind of pissed off at him for doing such a thing.

Oliver stormed up to his roommate, pulling him in by the collar of his shirt. Sae was taken completely off guard when he saw that the person grabbing him was his own friend. He was stunned and most of all confused. He could see this anger that swirled around in Oliver’s dual colored eyes that almost scared the living shit out of him at first glance. “Where is she..? Huh? Answer the fucking question..” Oliver’s tone was menacing and the grip on Sae’s shirt was only growing tighter the longer he held it.

Sae blinked, confused as to what Oliver was talking about. He was blown away by his actions as well. There was no reason why he should be held like that. “Hey! Hey! Oliver, what the hell?! What are you even talking about?” he furrowed his eyebrows, trying to shimmy out of his friend's grip.

He hated the response he received from his friend. He knew exactly what he was doing with you, but the last thing Oliver wanted to do was start something physical in the middle of the party. It could damage his reputation and he had soccer to worry about too. “Where’s the girl you were talking to, Sae?” his tone softened just a little, but it was somewhat firm at the same time.

He then quickly gathered what he meant and remembered that he was talking to you just a few minutes prior. Sae nodded his head towards one of the corridors that led upstairs to the top floor. “She went up there to pee..” he replied. “What’s this even about? Are you dating her or something?”

That’s all Oliver needed to hear.

He then released his friend, sending Sae a few inches backwards. He was still completely appalled by what Oliver had just done, but he decided not to chase after him. He didn’t want to possibly lose a damn limb because he was looking for some girl. It was still very confusing, but he refrained from continuing on with any questions.

You were sitting inside of the restroom that you really needed to use for the past ten minutes. You did have a bit to drink and alcohol tended to run right through you. It would be quick, but you couldn’t stop staring at the messages Oliver had sent you just a few minutes prior. He seemed quite insistent on getting your attention with them and it honestly puzzled you as to why he was interested in your relationship with Sae. To be honest, you didn’t know a single thing about him besides his name and that he played soccer for the university team. It was no wonder that you did, but why was Oliver so damn curious to know? You never questioned his ties to the random girls he used to talk to. It would irritate you to no end but you never made a big deal out of it because you knew Oliver would make a huge joke out of the whole thing.

Eventually, you finished your business and went to wash your hands. The soft thump of the music playing down below you filled your ears. The night was barely just beginning. You still had yet to discover where Isagi was hanging out at. He wouldn’t hear the end of it if you found out that he had left the party or something.

Once you dried off your hands, you went to open the bathroom door. You twisted the knob and pulled it open, but there wasn’t an empty space. Instead, you were faced with a very irritated looking Oliver. He practically scared the living shit out of you when your eyes landed on where he was standing. You didn’t think he would come up here or even seek you out. You knew damn well it was probably Sae who revealed those details to Oliver, but it still made you curious on how the two of them knew one another. Also, why did Oliver care so much about it? He never really paid much attention to those kinds of things before, so why was there the sudden change of heart on his end? Sometimes guys could be so fucking nosy and Oliver was one of those men who had to be in your business.

You decided to clear your throat to shift the obvious tension that had formed around you both. Oliver had his eyes fixated on you intensely. “Oliver-“ he then cut you off, forcing himself inside of the bathroom and slamming the door with his foot.

He looked down at you with serious eyes. Your heart began to beat rapidly inside your chest at his sudden actions. You hadn’t seen Oliver behave in such a manner in the entire time you had been having sex with him. He backed you up so you were now pressing against the counter behind you. He had you caged in with his arms that were resting on either side of the sink. “Why did you do that, baby? You like having fun with my roommate?” his voice sent chills up your spine from how hoarse it was. Seeing him act that way had you pressing your thighs together. You never believed there would be a day that you would see Oliver Aiku jealous over his own roommate. The one you didn’t even know about.

You avoided his gaze, but you could feel him burning holes in the side of your head. You knew you had to say something eventually, so you did your best to come up with a response. “Oliver, I never knew about Sae like that..” you looked up briefly, then settled your eyes somewhere else in the room. “But most of all, why do you even care? We aren’t dating, Oliver, you know that.”

He kissed his teeth at your words. He was so tired of hearing that you weren’t his girlfriend, but that didn’t mean shit to him. He was ready to throw out that idea and become exclusive with you, because the thought of Sae having you all to himself made him pissed. He didn’t want anyone else to have you but him. There was nobody else that could treat you better than Oliver could. “I don’t care.. you’re mine, (Y/N).” he leaned towards your level, so your foreheads were now pressing together.

Before you could reply, Oliver pressed his lips against yours. The kiss between you two was gentle and it almost made your knees buckle from how sweet it was. His hands found their way towards your waist and then to your hips where he groped at your flesh. You could feel his stubble against your chin as he continued kissing you. Heat began to pool between your thighs, making you all the more needy for Oliver to continue touching you. He knew all of the places to poke and brush against that would make you melt in his hands like butter. He loved that about you. You were so easy to crack and break apart. Sure, he could take his time and be patient with you, but he knew that wasn’t going to be possible tonight. He had this ache inside of his shorts that was begging him to be freed. You didn’t seem like you were in much of a position to wait around either for him, so he figured he would get things going as soon as possible.

Oliver pushed your legs upwards with strong arms. You were now sitting on the sink with both of your thighs around his waist. His large hands squeezed at the fat, allowing a whimper to escape your lips. Instinctively, you opened your legs just a little so Oliver could gain better access to you. He couldn’t hide the smirk that wrote itself on his features when he pushed his hands up your dress and felt that damp spot on your panties. He had done so little, yet you were a soaked mess down there. If he had more time, he would have devoured you and gotten a taste. He always loved seeing your reactions whenever he would go down on you.

He pressed the pad of his finger against your throbbing clit. Your hips bucked at the feeling of electricity that spread along your belly. Oliver pulled away from the kiss, making eye contact with you. He rubbed small circles on your sensitive bud, earning a few moans. “Needy, huh, baby..?” he chuckled, pecking your lips. “So fucking wet.. ‘gotta have you now.”

With trembling hands, he pulled your dress backwards so he could expose more of your skin. Goosebumps littered your skin when the cooler air brushed against your bare flesh. You watched with heavy lids as he untied his shorts, pulling them down along with his boxers so he could free his cock. You chewed on your bottom lip, anticipation bubbling inside your belly at what was to come. Oliver was on the bigger side. You always had chills whenever he would take it out and fuck you with it. You were surprised you were able to take it the first time from how great the girth was. He was probably the largest you had ever taken.

He pushed your panties aside, positioning his cock near your dripping hole. The tip dragged along your slick folds, allowing noises to come from both of you. You needed Oliver more than anything right now. Your hands went to rest on his broad shoulders, looking up at him with desperation in your eyes. “Oliver.. fuck, don’t tease m-me!” you threw your head back when the tip of his cock brushed over your bud. “Need you..”

Oliver grinned at your need for him. He couldn’t lie. He honestly wanted you more than you wanted him. The two of you hadn’t fucked in a long time, so having a moment like this was bound to bring in lots of fun. He knew you had to be quick, considering that you were doing this in a bathroom at a party, but part of him did have the desire to take it slow. If it were anywhere else he would have his tongue buried between your legs until you were making a mess on his chin. “Tell me how much you need me, princess.” he teased your hole, making you whine. “Tell me – fuck – tell me how bad..”

You disliked how he was making you wait. All you wanted was for him to be inside you already, but that was becoming impossible from his actions. You decided to just give in to what he wanted. It would get things started much faster. “Oliver..! I need you so bad, ah! P-Please.. fuck me!” your nails dug into the fabric of his t-shirt.

Your voice was like music to his ears.

Oliver then pushed his cock inside of your dripping cunt. A sharp gasp left your lips from the sensation of his dick filling your pussy up. You could never get used to how thick his cock was. He was splitting you apart with every inch, and you found yourself almost crying from the stretch. Your pussy was sucking him in so perfectly that he was fighting with himself to not completely ravage you right then and there. You were so fucking tight. Nobody else compared to the way you made him feel. It didn’t matter if he went and slept with someone else. They never made him feel this euphoria that you were able to create for him. He never desired to see those people again, but when it came to you it was such a different story. All he could crave was you. Being inside you, having your walls squeeze his cock. He wanted you more than he would ever like to admit, but most of all, Oliver wanted you all to himself.

His palms placed themselves on your hips where he finally fully bottomed out inside of you. You felt so full with him. Oliver wasn’t sure if he should move yet, but when you began to grind on his cock he knew that you were more than ready for him to fuck you.

He slowly began to thrust forward into you. Your moans were much softer and delicate this time, but he knew they would begin to grow louder once he started to move more. He gripped the plush of your hips tightly as his pace began to pick up just a little. Fuck, you were so perfect like this before him. Your sweet pussy was taking his cock in so nicely. He was already losing control of himself. Oliver never realized how badly he missed you until that moment. You were on his mind so much and the thought of losing you struck fear into him. He didn’t want anyone else to think they had a chance with you.

You were lost in complete bliss at his actions. He was going at a decent pace, but you were already feeling like you were on the moon from what he was doing. The scent of his cologne, his grip on your body, the way his cock split you apart. All of it was so perfect. “O-Oliver! Shit.. it’s so good!” you squeezed your eyes shut, holding on to his shoulders for support. He had you completely wrapped around his finger.

Hearing your pretty voice made his dick twitch inside of you. He loved whenever you said his name like that. All whiny and needy like he was the only one you needed at the end of the day. There was nothing better to Oliver than hearing you cry out for him. He couldn’t help but rut his hips a bit harder this time, giving him a slightly better angle to those nice spots. He wanted to make you feel good. Your pleasure always came before his. “Yeah? You like this, princess? Like when I fuck your p-pretty cunt with my fat cock?” he grabbed your face with his hand, pressing your cheeks together.

You nodded vigorously at his question. Oliver thought you looked so fucking nasty like that. Shaking your head like you were a bitch in heat. It was erotic. He thought it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen.

His hand retracted from your face and went to circle around your throat. He held it there firmly, but not hard enough to the point where you were losing oxygen from his grip. Oliver just couldn’t keep his eyes away from you and your body. You were beautiful, truly. He hadn’t ever seen someone with such enthralling beauty before. He just couldn’t help but feel mesmerized by your features. There was so much to like about you. He couldn’t pick just one thing to focus on. He knew a girl like you could be snatched up by someone else within a heartbeat. There were probably loads of people waiting for you to give them the time of day, and he was fully aware of that. He saw the way people turned their heads whenever you walked into a room. Oliver was one of those many faces that stared at you with admiration any time you strutted by. He loved that people also thought you were pretty, but it also brought jealousy. You were too good for some of those shitty guys he encountered on campus. The last thing he would want is someone breaking your pretty heart into tiny pieces.

That’s why seeing you with someone like Sae angered him.

Oliver knew he shouldn’t have acted the way he did towards his friend, especially over you, but there was just something about having you in someone else’s arms that pissed him off. Someone seeing you naked and fucking you drove him mad. He was the only one who should have access to you like that. The idea that someone else could possibly have that chance lit a fire underneath Oliver’s ass. He didn’t want that, not one bit.

He didn’t realize it, but he had begun fucking you at quite a rough pace. He was just too pissed off about what happened with Sae earlier that he was taking it out on your cunt. You didn’t seem to mind that much though. You were a moaning mess and your hold on him was tight. You were practically clinging onto him like your life depended on it. Oliver shifted his angle, so he could feel more of your cunt around him. As he thrusted, the items on the sink moved with him and a few things almost fell over. However, he didn’t give two shits.

The sound of skin slapping filled the room. Several grunts had rumbled in Oliver’s throat while he thrusted into you. He knew you were getting close by the feeling of your walls slowly tightening around his dick. He had this need for reassurance. He had to know and hear from you that you weren’t going to go off with somebody else. “Fuck.. tell me you’re mine, baby.” he looked down at you with a serious stare that made you shiver.

You whimpered when his hand around your throat began to squeeze. He was making you look at him while his cock dragged along your walls. This kind of energy was turning you on so much. You could almost cum on the spot from just his voice. “I-I’m yours, Oliver!” you whined. “I promise..!”

Those words made him feel so much better. He couldn’t hide the smile that had appeared on his features. Oliver gritted his teeth from how fucking great you felt around him. You could feel the knot inside your belly tightening with each rut of his hips. All you could crave was that climax. Your nails dug into his shoulder, leaving marks on his skin even though he still had his shirt on.

With one final cry of pleasure, you finally reached your orgasm. Sparks of euphoria danced along your skin from the intensity, and your legs began to shake. Oliver gasped sharply when your walls clamped tightly around his cock. He didn’t expect it to happen, but he actually came himself. He filled your cunt with his cum, covering your velvet walls with white thick seed. The warmth inside your abdomen made you tremble a bit, but you were too lost in your thoughts to even think about what just happened. Oliver had come inside you before, so you could care less. Those words must have pushed him over the edge, because he didn’t expect for his high to hit him that hard.

Oliver snaked his arms around your waist. The two of you were both quite messy and the restroom you were in was humid. He brushed his lips against your ear, making you feel goosebumps. “I mean it.. you’re my girl, baby.“ he rubbed small circles on your back, soothing you.

You tucked your head underneath his chin, letting your eyes fall shut. “I don’t mind that..” you whispered, intertwining his fingers with yours.

“Really? I mean-“

BANG BANG!

“Hey! Who’s in there?! Some of us have to piss!”

You and Oliver looked at one another, then started giggling when you heard the person on the other side. He quickly kissed your forehead, smiling down at you. “Come home with me tonight.. I can’t stay away from you anymore.” he said, cupping your cheek.

You grinned. “I want nothing more than that.”

974 notes · View notes

bealovesmarauders · 1 year

Text

invisible string / james potter

⋆ ࣪. ⁺⑅ ⋰˚ *.ﾟ .˳⁺⁎˚ ˚⁎⁺˳ . ༺ ˖

james potter x fem reader

word count: 4k

in which james potter has a quidditch injury, and, in healing, meets someone special <3

and isn’t it just so pretty to think, that all along there was some invisible string?

a/n: i've left reader's illness ambiguous because many people go through many different things, however this is heavily based off of personal experience. TW for hospitals, illness, and swearing (kinda??). this is my very first fic so i hope you all enjoy! you are not alone. you are beautiful. you are valid, & my inbox is always open if anyone wants to talk <33 likes & reposts are very appreciated especially as i'm trying to grow my account!!

⋆ ࣪. ⁺⑅ ⋰˚ *.ﾟ .˳⁺⁎˚ ˚⁎⁺˳ . ༺ ˖

the hospital wing is quiet, and james potter is lonely.

he has never been this isolated before. he's sunshine, really- constantly soaking up love, light, and laughter. james thrives off of other people, and the fun that comes with them. merlin knows he's never turned down a prank- never missed a gryffindor house party- never passed up the opportunity to sneak into hogsmeade. but then again, james has never had a quidditch injury this bad either.

it was a normal practice, as it goes. he'd tweaked his shoulder about a week prior during a particularly rough collision with a hufflepuff player during a game, but he'd brushed it off- it was nothing. remus, naturally, had worried- "you'll make it worse, prongs,"- but the pain went away almost instantaneously due to a handy numbing spell flitwick had taught in charms a few months before. honestly, james had forgotten about it (among the numerous assignments he'd forgotten to do for both potions and transfiguration). but this practice had gotten...rowdy, to say the least, and he'd fallen off his broom, landing on his left arm and shoulder while attempting to show off a trick with the golden snitch.

he'd never felt any pain like it, really. madam pomfrey had performed a basic charm to mend his fractured collarbone, but there had been severe nerve and muscle damage to his shoulder, arm, and back. “we'll have to wait it out," the matron had told him, “but you musn't move it."

james knows he was impatient, but waiting is difficult when you're always the first at everything. the first young seeker in gryffindor history to catch the snitch and win the house cup in sixty years, the first student to ever get detention from professor dumbledore, always the first to down a shot at a common room party. in hindsight, maybe he shouldn't have snuck out to attempt a workout a few days into his stay at the hospital wing. “but what do you expect me to do?" he'd argued with professor mcgonagall when she found him cradling his injured arm close to his body in the common room rather than the hospital wing. “you let remus read and do his studies when he's ill! why not me? quidditch is my destiny!"

so now james is going on his fifth night in the wing, and madam pomfrey estimates he'll be staying for another week due to the damage caused from his impromptu exercise session. the matron is kind enough, and her touch is gentle on his shoulder, but no amount of gobstones with sirius and remus when they're out of class can cure james's boredom.

the wing is often empty. there's always an occasional illness, or spell gone wrong, but the healer witch always whips up a healing potion or casts a helpful charm in no time. it's her job, james knows, and so is confiscating the snitch in his pocket. but sometimes he wishes he would have a companion who lasts more than a few hours. maybe it's awful of him to think- that there would be someone in bad enough condition so that he could make a friend. and so james sulks.

but today, that changes. and, as james potter is soon to realize, fate- whether it be quidditch or love- often finds its way.

james hears many things when he wakes up in the middle of the night. voices- not unusual, but louder and more urgent than the typical hum of the hospital wing, especially at this time. forcing his eyes open and fumbling for his glasses, he draws the pale green curtains around his bed open to investigate the hubbub. to his surprise, his assumption in the multitude of voices is correct. through the darkness, james can just make out madam pomfrey in her crimson dress across the room, along with professors mcgonagall and dumbledore crouched around a rickety metal bed matching his own. madam pomfrey appears to be quickly mixing up a lavender potion, and mcgonagall and dumbledore step aside to speak in hushed whispers just loud enough for james to hear snippets.

“...very sick..”

“...st. mungo's..”

“..excused from classes..”

james's brow furrows, straining his eyes and ears for more. a sliver of moonlight passes through the latticed window above him, and he can barely see a figure on the bed being tended to by madam pomfrey. even the thought of st. mungo's seems extreme. but then madam pomfrey's voice, usually calm (or peeved), cuts through the night air shrilly.

“albus! minerva! i need your assistance-”

james sits up straight to catch a glimpse of what's happening, wincing from the hot flash of pain radiating from his arm and shoulder. but as the professors rush past him, dumbledore pauses before flicking his wand, consequently drawing the pale green curtains around james's bed closed.

“mr. potter,” he says with a tone james can't quite decipher, “there is something to be said about prying eyes on a night such as this one.”

with these cryptic final words, james runs a hand through his dark curls and falls back on his pillows, defeated and slightly ashamed of his own curiosity.

but, as we all know, the sun will rise again in the morning.

when james wakes, madam pomfrey is bustling around, and everything seems normal. normal, until he catches a glimpse of the figure in the bed. it's a familiar face, james realizes- a girl in his year, friends with lily evans and partnered with remus in potions class. he's seen her studying in the library on more occasions than one, studying by herself or with remus. warm sunlight pools on her bed, but her face is paler than nearly headless nick.

it takes james a moment to rub the sleep out of his eyes and regain memory of the night before. “poppy," he says, morning voice rough. “come to visit me again? couldn't keep away?"

madam pomfrey makes her way over to james to hand him his daily painkillers, a sludgy potion the texture of chalk. “mr. potter," she says severely, “how many times have i kindly requested that you address me by my preferred title?"

james is about to make a wisecrack at this, but chokes a bit on the potion instead. it's been several days, but he's not sure if he'll ever be used to the medication. “sorry," he says, grimacing. and then when curiosity overtakes him- “what happened last night- y'know, with that girl?"

madam pomfrey shakes her head, making a tsk sound. “that's not for me to share," she says. “but best not wake her."

james spends the rest of his morning chewing on buttered toast- one of the foods madam pomfrey says will help him heal quicker- and pretending to read a book on broomstick care that remus bought for him last christmas. it motivates him to get back on the field. he would do anything to polish his broom right now- he finds it relaxing, having a routine. but the words swim on the page and staring mindlessly at it does him no good, so he sips on pumpkin juice and finds himself watching the girl in the bed across the room.

she looks peaceful when she's sleeping. fragile, even, as if she might shatter into a million pieces if he were to touch her. hair fanned out on the soft pillow, she looks weak, bundled up in extra blankets. a muggle contraption that remus has mentioned before feeds a concoction of some sort through a long, clear tube into the girl's arm, and several more finicky-looking wires seem to be attached to her. that must feel awful, james thinks. he hopes she's okay. she's quite pretty, after all- it would be a shame if she was stuck in here for a while. hopefully she's out before he is.

when the girl finally awakes, looking rather disoriented, madam pomfrey rushes right back in, and james finds himself peering at a pale green curtain again. what is it with this matron and her privacy curtains? when james was getting fixed up, he was not allowed the luxury of them- instead he was forced to watch the bubbling pustules of a slytherin student beside him resulting from sudden onset dragonpox. sirius had gotten a right kick out of that one.

the rest of the marauders come to visit around lunch, and by then the curtains have opened again, revealing the girl once more. for once, james has trouble focusing on the words coming from sirius's mouth.

“...and then the spell just ricocheted off the wall and hit flitwick smack dab on the nose. he just about blew a fuse! prongs? prongs, are you listening?"

james startles when sirius's voice becomes louder. “sorry?"

remus eyes him, a concerned look on his face. "bloody merlin, you're out of it today," sirius replies, smirking. he's about to continue on with his story when james speaks.

“who's that girl?"

the marauders turn to glance. the girl is sleeping again, or has at least closed her eyes, the matron at her bedside. remus smiles knowingly.

“that's y/n l/n. she's very kind, prongs, you should make friends with her."

“isn't she friends with lily? have you moved on from your precious flower?" sirius asks teasingly. james smacks him gently on the head. “i'm just...curious. has she been in here before?"

remus gives a brief nod. “it's how we met. full moon. ya know."

james, leaves it at that- something remus recognizes as out of character, yet it doesn't go unappreciated. james doesn't want to pry, or invade y/n's privacy. maybe he'll talk to her when she wakes up. instead, james musters a smile, tries to force the trademark glint in his eye, and deals a rousing round of exploding snap with his best friends.

"psst!"

y/n l/n wakes up to an obnoxious sound from across the room. everything hurts, she's exhausted, and consequently, she's definitely not in the mood for mischief. regardless, she looks up. and what a sight to behold but none other than james potter.

james potter. of course it's james potter. remus's beautiful best friend, lover of mischief, master of quidditch. except evidently he still has much to learn on the quidditch front- his muscled arm is heavily bandaged, lying close to his chest in a sling. she forces herself to look up- his biceps look a little too nice peeking out of the hospital gown- and meets his deep brown eyes. “hello."

“hey," he parrots back.

there's an awkward silence in which they look each other up and down. she prays she's not drooling.

“what'd you wake me up for?" she finally asks. something in his tone has tied her tongue momentarily, and her voice is soft.

james grins. “it's lonely in here. and you don't seem to need any beauty sleep, you're pretty already."

so this is how it is. y/n blushes and smiles a little. for a moment, she forgets they're in the infirmary. “i'm y/n."

“i know," james replies. “i'm james. pleasure t' meet you."

y/n finds her voice again. “i know," she mimics. “you're friends with remus."

james attempts running a hand through his messy curls using his injured arm- presumably a flirtatious move, but it results in an exaggerated gasp of pain and eliciting a small laugh from y/n. she winces as she props herself up a bit, accidentally tugging on the muggle tubes attached to her body. to her surprise, james's demeanor changes completely, and all of a sudden he's the worried-looking one, asking hesitantly if she's okay, his voice laced with concern.

she smiles, albeit a weak one. “yeah. i'm used to it."

looking around, y/n realizes madam pomfrey is nowhere to be seen. noticing this, james clears his voice. “she's helping out with all the seventh-years. they're learning how to apparate, and there's a hell of a lot of splinching. she'll be back soon."

y/n nods, looking as if she's about to ask something. butterflies in james's stomach arise- a rare occurrence since his fifth rejection from lily evans- and the curly haired gryffindor feels as if he can tell there are words on the tip of her tongue, but perhaps she's too shy to say. “do you need anything?"

she exhales, and james realizes she's shivering despite the excess of blankets wrapped around her. “can you- can you get me a blanket? i would get one myself, but i don't think i can walk right now."

he nods so quickly she thinks he'll break his neck. “of course," he replies, and she attempts to shoot him a small smile despite the pain. james's heart flutters, and he gets up shakily from the bed. he's been bedridden for a while, so he's not used to walking, but it's clear already he's in a better position then her. making his way over to madam pomfrey's cupboard of linens and hospital gowns, james attempts to inject some swagger into his strut, prompting another small giggle. when he's finally by her bed, handing her the thick wool blanket, james's shoulder's aching more than it should, but he swallows and puts on another teasing tone. just for her.

“milady," he bows, wrapping the quilt around her shoulders as she props herself up into a sitting position. she shivers, but some color returns to her cheeks once she's started to warm up. “why thank you, kind sir. my knight in shining armor."

james stands there awkwardly holding his sling for a moment, and y/n is beginning to wonder if she shouldn't have asked him for help, but just as casually as she'd hoped, he lowers himself into the hospital bed beside her own, sitting like a little boy, criss-cross applesauce leaning back against the pillows.

a smile slowly spreads across y/n's face, and it warms james's heart. “i guess you'll be staying here for a while."

“i guess i will," james agrees, and neither of them can deny the tension in the air.

they spend the rest of the afternoon together talking and getting to know each other. madam pomfrey doesn't get back for a while- potentially prompted by a knowing remus waiting outside the hospital wing with a tale spun of sirius suffering from an unprompted vicious hiccup attack requiring immediate medical attention. (the marauders are positive that james wouldn't mind them stealing a few of his hiccough sweets from his zonko's stash if it meant more time alone with y/n.) james gets to know her favorite things- books, music, et cetera- and entertains her with stories about some of his most infamous pranks. surprisingly enough, when the matron returns, she only gives james a mild scolding for switching beds (“i'm sure you're up to no good, mr. potter,"), pours y/n another dose of medication, and- miraculously!- leaves them be.

the two grow close quickly over the next while. their conversations range from quidditch cup predictions to more vulnerable subjects, and they bond over their distaste for missing class. james knows not to push, but the elephant in the room looms over them: james growing healthier by the day, y/n deteriorating.

the conversation becomes difficult to avoid. soon, james's sling is taken off, and his new friend gasps excitedly at the news when she wakes up, stretching her arm out between their two beds to squeeze his hand affectionately. “you'll be out of here in no time," she grins, but the realization comes with a sense of deflatement. honestly, james doesn't know how he feels about it. he wants to get back to his friends, to life, to house parties, to quidditch. hell, even back to normal classes, with homework. but he doesn't think he can bear leaving her behind.

but overall, the encouragement and company of james's new friend makes resting easier, and in no time he settles into a new routine. his morning consists of waking up, taking his potion, eating, and talking with y/n, while his afternoons typically include having lunch, visiting the marauders, talking more with y/n, and eating dinner. due to the abundance of rest james is getting, he's healing faster, which pleases madam pomfrey very much- and it comes as a shock when she discharges him from the infirmary.

“are you positive?" james asks, slightly flabbergasted.

the matron gives him a dry smile.

“yes mr. potter, i am confident that you are successfully mended and i am rid of you at last."

james, elated, lets out a delighted whoop. he has to restrain himself from sweeping madam pomfrey up into a hug and spinning her around, he's so happy. but then the realization hits him- y/n. she's sleeping right now- she's been weaker than usual lately, never feeling well enough to talk for more than ten minutes. the muggle wires feeding into her body have multiplied, and the infirmary is significantly quieter, bar madam pomfrey's footsteps to check on her every once in a while. he doesn't want to leave her. that is the plain, simple truth.

james soaks in these thoughts for the rest of the afternoon, preparing to tell her when she wakes up. but she stays fast asleep. when remus and sirius come to visit and he breaks the news that he's out, he's mended, james greeted with open arms and claps on the back. but james catches the worried glance remus sends to his potions partner, dozing away in the next bed over. she looks as if she's barely breathing. it’s an odd mix of emotions. hoping to say goodbye, james eats one last meal in the hospital wing, and double checks with the matron that he’s totally healed. but all signs are clear, so he’s officially dismissed.

james stays uncharacteristically silent as he walks up to the gryffindor common room with all of his things- his sleakeasy hair potion, his robes, his stolen snitch given back by pomfrey. he's missing something- a goodbye. but he'll visit her later. he'll say farewell. because he has to. but until then, james thinks, he can distract himself.

of course, sirius and marlene have organized a welcome-back party. even james, forever a maximalist, thinks it's a bit over the top. he loves sirius, they’re brothers, but james feels wrong being here. the only comfort he seeks is not in the fireworks terrorizing the portraits, or the butterbeer pong, or even in lily's open arms, who seems to have missed him quite a bit. it's the hospital wing he craves. calm, quiet, empty, yet filled with laughter. or rather, y/n.

dwelling on his thoughts, james takes a long sip of firewhiskey, recoiling from the scorching feeling in his throat- it's been a while. he's here, but he's not present, and remus, who's been nursing spiked pumpkin juice all night from the corner, nudges james and whispers into his ear: “go get her, prongs."

james weighs his options. he knows sirius, currently snogging someone in the corner, would say the same- the marauders are less oblivious to james's connection with y/n then he'd hoped- and when he spots a hufflepuff jock slip through the portrait with a gaggle of girls behind him, he’s fairly certain his welcome party is over. fabian prewett, outraged at the infiltration and also mildly drunk on butterbeer, slugs the intruder right in the jaw, and when the hufflepuffs have retreated and fabian's hoisted up onto their shoulders, the new hero of the night upon his pedestal, james knows it's time to leave. this is his chance.

halfway to the hospital wing, he realizes that he doesn’t actually know what the hell he’s doing. showing up at midnight to a beautiful girl’s bedside empty handed? invisibility cloak draped around his shoulders, james picks up his pace as he jogs through hogwarts all the way to the courtyard. hands assured now, he plucks some wildflowers from the grass- it’s too dark to tell what they are- and knows that he is following his heart. bouquet in hand, james is running now, sprinting up the moving staircases as quietly as possible to reach the hallowed hall that’s home to the hospital wing. half of james’s heart wants to make a scene- to swing open the doors to the infirmary with a bang- but he knows all too well how obnoxious sleep disruptions can get. so he takes a deep breath, and enters the hospital wing.

there’s a faint light that greets james as he comes in. it’s y/n- glowing wand at her side, providing enough light to read a familiar book: his broomstick care manual. her face absolutely lights up when she sees james.

“hello there mr. potter,” y/n whispers, quiet even though there’s no one else in the infirmary. “i think you forgot something on your way out.”

she holds up his book, a twinkle in her eye- one james hasn’t seen before. he rushes over to her bed, eager to gift her the bouquet. “well, you can keep it, love, along with the flowers.”

y/n buries her face in the wildflowers, immersing herself in the scent. moonlight pools through the latticed window, illuminating her face. she looks happy. truly happy. “thank you, james.”

there’s a moment, one where they are both gazing at each other, completely enamored. james is in pajamas, of all things- a heather gray shirt and plaid bottoms. it’s a contrast to the hospital gown she’s used to seeing him in. and she can’t help herself anymore, taking his hand and holding it. such a simple gesture, but one that holds such significance and weight.

that’s when james knows. all that’s left unsaid has been conveyed in the touch of a hand, and the wistful look in her eyes confirms it. he gently brushes away a stray wisp of hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear, and his thumb comes to rest on her cheek, stroking it softly. and she knows, too.

“james."

a pause.

“i’m sick. i’ve been sick since first year. i’m getting better, madam pomfrey says. but it’s a long recovery. i don’t want you to feel burdened by me. you’re not even supposed to be here. you should be at the welcome back party. lily was telling me about the planning of it. i thought you’d be pleased, you’d be having fun. back to normal, you know. but you’re here. why are you here, james?”

“i’d rather be here, love,” he tells her, truthfully. he takes a flower from the bouquet he made for her and places it in her hair. “you know i would. you’re not a burden. you’re so beautiful, sweetheart. and kind, and sweet, and funny. and anything at the party, we can do here. don’t believe me? want to dance?”

james potter offers his hand to her. she takes it, of course. and then all of a sudden she’s smiling, tears disappearing, as he carefully helps her get up and sweeps her into his arms, humming a soft melody and swaying her back and forth slowly in a slow, sweet dance- careful to not pull on any of her tubes and wires. she nestles the top of her head into the crook of his neck, and he kisses her forehead gently.

“it’s me and you against this illness, love,” he says through hums. she smiles up at him.

“you, me, and the invisible string tying us together.”

1K notes · View notes

athenasgotu · 2 months

Text

title: you're all i need.

pairings: teenage!ellie williams x female!reader

summary: after so many things happening in your life. a break up, sister passing away, and then losing half of your friends. only one person stuck with you and it was ellie. she never left your side, and overtime you grew feelings for her. but you can get your hopes up.

warning: mentions of suicide, swearing, and lots of angst. (minors dni!)

authors note: part 1 is more on y/n story and how she feels. ellie will be there to comfort her.

MEN DNI❗❗

part 2

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

one more month. one more month and no more school, no more stress, no more fake friends. how could someone possibly be this sad? mom is over it, why aren't you? your boyfriend calling you a slut? no biggie. just act like you don't care then no one will notice.

you walk out of your room to brush your teeth. numb. that's all you felt. you have no one. no friends. no love. no sister. wait.. ellie. how could you forget the one person who hasn't done one thing wrong? god, she's an angel. she hasn't left me, yet. you can't even dress nice for school, just sweats. your mom tries to get you to be happier. therapy, not working. quality time, making it worse. talking to her.

communication was never good with her, will it ever be? how can you tell her how you've been craving death? wanting to be with your sister. she was your light. she made you smile on days you couldn't. i mean sure, you had your rough times. but that's how siblings are, right?

or did she secretly hate you?

faked it all?

faked her love?

no. she couldn't have, hah. its funny to think i even thought of that.

suddenly, the time changed late. twenty minutes in the bathroom? jesus. time passes, you're in school.

you see your old friends, teachers, then her. she smiles at you and waves.

"hey! you feeling ok?" ellie asks.

am i? i spent twenty minutes in my own thoughts earlier.

"i'm good." you smile. great acting.

ellie nudges your shoulder and hands you a plastic bag with a cookie, she baked every once in a while even though it wasn't the best. she knew i like sugar cookies. she's so sweet..

"thanks els." you smile, but it was real.

ellie was the only one who could get you to smile. not even your own mom could make you really smile. ellie was special. really special.

as you two walked in the crowded halls, she makes it to her class.

"see you later?" ellie smiles at you again.

gosh, that smile..

you nod and smile back at her "mhm." you mumbled.

you walked to your class, attempting not to be late again. but it was math, you were already failing horribly in math. school makes everything worse for you. tears your soul down. not always though, your sister made those long eight hours fun and exciting. too bad she's gone. you groan under your breath. these thoughts weren't helping. you take your earbuds out and put on a song.

you sigh in relief. finally, you can relieve some stress.

╭──╯ . . . . . hours later . . . . . ╰──╮

you were finally at home, alone. your mom was still at work, she wasn't coming back until midnight.

long shift, as usual.

you laid down in bed sighing. everything is going to be ok. you kept telling yourself. was it though? your life was already fucked up enough. how could it possibly get better?

⇢˗ˏˋ beep beep !! 📞

you pick up your phone to see a message from ellie. you smile, she always messages you.

she worried so much.

she's so nice.

you put your phone down and turn off your light. hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.

╰┈➤ end of part 1

#ellie williams #lesbian #wlw #female!reader #fanfic #tlou2 #angst #smut #ellie the last of us #lgbtq

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lains-reality · 9 months

Note

hi :) i hope you’re having a wonderful day

you’re literally the only blogger i trust when it comes to non-duality, and your advice has been the one i’ve been most easily able to apply/understand. I hope this doesn’t come off as a vent, but it probably will just because this question is so complicated and problem riddled, and tbh idek if you’re actually going to respond, but yea. it’s like star wars you’re my obi wan kenobi! my last hope lol

basically i’ve put my life on hold and procrastinated everything i’ve needed to do. (TW: death?? health problems/sa?) I went through a really bad year, last year. the human character i identify with (non-dualistic terms, bc ik this character isn’t me?) was sa’d in the beginning of the year. really traumatic. i dropped out of school, i couldn’t go out of the house because i feared for my life. i became super paranoid. i reported it and filed charges, but the justice system is fucked so.

anyways, after because the amount of stress i was experiencing, i became very ill. my biological father wished death on me, and i believed it at the time, because my sibling wished for me to get raped, and then it happened. i can see now, how my belief may or may not have been the cause of what happened. i then got cancer. the doctors couldn’t figure it out for months, and even ridiculed me- saying how i relied on google.

i finally went to a specialist who was immediately concerned, and then confirmed my suspicions. i was sort of friends with a blogger on here who got into the void and manifested their dream life. they went into the void for me and affirmed that i no longer had cancer, and that i could tap/wake up in the void. the next day, the huge lump/tumor on my neck was gone. all of my ailments- trouble breathing, patchy and rough skin ceased. i literally told my mother what happened which made her start believing in the power of “manifestation”.

because of the paranoia, and then cancer- i didn’t go to school my last 2 years of school. i switched to online, but never felt the need to complete my classes because i knew i would get into the void. i’ve gotten into the void, both by waking up/tapping into it but i haven’t been able to change my awareness, or “manifest” bc i was just mumbo jumbing words or poetry. i didn’t apply to university, because i thought i’d enter the void before then and revise my school grades + make it so i got into the university of my choice.

now, i have a week left before i have to finish my classes- which i have 7 of them, and so many assignments. i have to move out in the middle of august because i lied to my parents and said i got into university, because i thought i would’ve already changed things with the void by now. my life was fucked, then i fucked my life. after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now, yet i haven’t. i don’t know what i’m doing wrong, because i was able to show myself the truth of reality (as lester levinson said).

i am really stressing because now everything is falling down on itself. i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go, yet it’s so hard when teachers are bombarding me with messages how i have to finish the classes, or how i have to move out soon. i know this is probably ego driven, but i feel as if i can’t see a way through because of how attached i am to this. my health has also been abnormal, which makes me fear that the cancer has returned. what should i do?? im kinda freaking out.

anyways, i am so sorry if this came across trauma dumping/venting. i am just at a point where i do not even know where to begin to conceptualize this into understanding. this took a lot of courage to type, as im a bit afraid still- that people who hurt me from last year will see this (even though i know they won’t, but still). i totally understand if you wish not to post this or answer it, as it is very long and limiting. thank you though! i hope you have a wonderful week:)

this was quite difficult to answer as i've never been through so much turmoil all at once. i hope this answer helps and you'll continue taking care of yourself! (i'm sorry i linked way too much lol just don't read it all at once!)

firstly i want you to rest.

you've been through a lot and you've also been putting off a lot to get into the void. stopping life for manifestation is common it seems, its not healthy either. so much pressure is coming from time. you put all your expectations on a method, and i'm gonna guess that you also put so much onto your mind to get you into the void.

practically: your biological father sounds abusive and so does your sibling, i would be more careful around him. idk if your not around him anymore, it sounds like it? but you need to plan accordingly for your lie. are you gonna tell your parents or ?

theres a massive chance you'll just go crazy trying to figure out all these moving parts, so i suggest do what you can and leave the rest. do the minimum to keep you safe, then figure out the rest as it comes. do whatever you need to do, just remember to not take on too much at once.

ask for breaks on work at school for medical reasons, maybe think about jobs, etc. you see how much more could come into the picture? but this is all the body-mind can do. its easy to treat it as god, but its not god.

"but i feel as if i can’t see a way through"

You fail to do the works of God, because you take the body to be God. - Ada B. [4dbarbie]

take a look at these meditations:

butter meditation

peace meditation

surrender meditation

un-identification exercise

crying meditation

i'd like you pick one of these exercises:

feel all the shit. feel bad. just do it. let all the bad feelings out. put on sad music and fucking cry. cry it all out.

let yourself rest, with no problems. if a thought or feeling comes in just let it, because its not a problem remember? :) just put on some calming music or visualise a calming place. and let yourself have some time with nothing. no conditions. no perfection. no obligations. no 'have to' 'should' 'must'. let that go for this time

feel as if you've died. feel as if you've been completely forgiven, feel as if there was a powerful white light that washed you away of all the crap. really feel as if the divine came down, hugged you and said 'i love you and forgive you'. its all over. finally its all done. you can rest. (i suggest kickstarting this with imagery or music, its hard to generate feeling such grace on you own. i saw a jesus holding a baby lamb picture that made me burst out in tears and realised that all i wanted was just to be, no obligations. i imagined waking up in a heaven, in a gaint flowerfield. do what you want)

one time i did the 1st and 3rd exercises (i made it up on the spot) and it was worth it. the next few days felt much better. its like an exercise in rebirth. let yourself be reborn.

some days you'll just do one or all 3. pick what ever feels right in what ever order. but i suggest that 'feel as if you've died' or 'no problems' comes last! the whole point is to let the painful emotion pass through and settle in a neutral or grateful place.

"after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now"

here's the problem, you went into a philosophy intending to manifest. yes,, (1) you can do that (2) its okay, AS LONG AS YOU DONT MISS THE POINT. the point being that there is no person! the character is a character, not you. manifestation is just another concept, you can use it as long as you understand that its not real. thats why i shared the BOOKS, you need to READ.

"i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go"

don't force yourself to forget (don't say you're not forcing it, otherwise you never would of wrote "TRY"). just let them be. deal with it when it comes up. the mind'll want to make a bazillion plans and stress. if you can make plans without spiriling, then do it. if you can't, don't. there will probably be some things you need to plan and thats okay. but everything else, leave it.

you haven't actually let it go, you're here in my inbox. you do not need to force letting it go. you naturally let it go by realising who you are in relation to it all. if you think you're the body-mind then its impossible to let go, because its your life and it involves you and if you let it go to shit, you might die!! - says the mind. but if you're Self, then this is not you. all those stories mean nothing compared to Infinity, Absolute Perfection and Love!

the Self is who you truly are. Self is still underneath it all, it is all. its imagining itself being a human. the character is the wave, YOU are the ocean. ultimately this is about realising all the identities, images and roles that "you've" taken on and used as reference are not you. how can a story be you? how can the past be you? are you the past? are you currently living in the past? you can be if you keep bringing it into the now.

when you stop using the past as a reference point, how much more posibilities come up now?

this is because the mind only knows what it knows. it cannot know anything more than what it knows right now. it can't access infinite intelligence. that's why it'll try to project into the future, and make plans. but it doesn't truly know. all it does is give suggestions based off the past. it is a combination of identity based off feelings, thoughts and memories that is collected and turned into a habit.

the past, memories, feelings, thoughts, identifies, roles etc all pass through you. they all come up like waves and then leave on THEIR OWN. if you hold onto these (which the character wants to do, it thinks thats all it is) it'll be painful when they are threatened in some way. a simple remark of "oh you look xxx" can be so painful for some characters because they based their whole life on a singular identity that WILL go.

Most of you can't change because you are so desperate TO change... but there is nothing to want to change. Things just are. Don't work with changing self, just realize who self actually is. [4dbarbie]

this is not a forcing thing, its just a rememberance. its done out of love, passion, a desire to just be free! with no ties to whatever identity! its takes courage, not convincing or denial.

Disbelieving you are Vanessa and denial are not the same thing. Denial is when you deny reality to something you're already giving reality to. Disbelieving was meant as an experiment, you never thought yourselves to be anything but this body, what will happen if you did? What are changes in your psyche, do you feel more confident, do you feel like you could take on the world? Don't you love Vanessa now that you know that she always was a choice? Even if she wasn't the greatest, what's so wrong with her? She is just somebody, she just lives a life. Things are only so serious when you're identified with her, you get scared, you get hurt, you feel stuck. But when you know that she can't hinder you? That she was never you? Don't you just want to laugh and hug her? [4dbarbie]

are you sure you're reading books and posts? a lot of this is already answered. your case is just more to deal with, but the point is still the same: you are not the body and mind, see what would happen if you questioned them.

just KEEP IT SIMPLE!

i'd like to leave you with this.

Once a young woman came to Hafiz and said, “What is the sign of someone knowing God?” And Hafiz became very quiet and stood in silence for nearly a minute. Lovingly looking deep into the young woman's eyes, he then softly spoke: “My dear, they have dropped the knife. The person who knows God has dropped the cruel knife so often used upon their tender self and others.” [source]

some extra resources

eft - health fear

eft - afraid to feel

we cannot practice letting go

heart of an emotion

i want to wake up with everything

hafiz - love's victory (PLEASE WATCH IT)

trust yourself

"You think you're doing it all for nothing, that's why you don't do it. But is freedom from pain really nothing? At least you are, for once in your life, sighing from relief from all this never-ending sense of doing."

health anon

apply

"All the process requires is letting go of thinking you are Vanessa."

behaviour

letting thoughts and emotions pass

challenge yourself

stories

everything brings you back to your Self

you've been through a lot and i'm glad you still are full of love! otherwise you never would've tried in the first place to change anything. use that love, take any anger and turn it into love for freedom! for Self! i know you can do it!!

also: the feeling of bad health coming back is a sign to me. you've put so much on hold: your healing from the sa, the healing from your family, the lying, LIFE in general. you can't keep doing that. turn inwards. the fear won't consume you.

#lainsmail

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thegettingbyp2 · 1 year

Note

could you do later seasons spencer x new bau reader but reader is very much sunshiney and ever since prison spencer is more black cat this can be ethier smut or fluff I just like the idea

hope this makes since lol

I Never Used to be Like This

Before you joined the BAU, you had heard so many amazing things about all of the team members, past and present. However, you were most excited about meeting Dr Spencer Reid. From what you had heard, you thought that the two of you were going to quickly become fast friends, you had so much in common you thought that your friendship was an inevitability.

That all was tipped upside down on your first day on the job.

You had made sure that you got to the office early, not wanting to risk being late on your first day, ending up with you being the first one in the office. Soon, the rest of the team began to file in, each and every one of them welcoming you with open arms and making you feel at home instantly. Once you’d been introduced to everyone, you couldn’t help but notice that Spencer hadn’t turned up yet.

‘Spencer’ll be here soon,’ Luke said, handing you a cup of coffee, ‘he’s just had a rough couple of months, he’s not fully back to himself yet but he’ll get there. He’s a great guy though, the two of you will get along like a house on fire!’

Not long after, a tall man walked into the office and you couldn’t stop your breath from hitching in your throat when your eyes laid on him, causing Luke to let out a snot of laughter into his coffee cup. The man had longish brown hair that was just the right side of messy and he had a smattering of stubble littering his lower jaw. Wanting to make a good first impression, you headed over to where he was setting his messenger bag on top of his desk and held your hand out towards him.

‘Hi! I’m (Y/N), I’m new, you must be Spencer,’ you said cheerily, your enthusiasm dimming slightly when he looked down at your outstretched hand and waved at you slightly in return, a tight-lipped smile on his lips.

‘Dr Spencer Reid, nice to meet you,’ he said before turning his back to you and sitting at his desk. Not quite knowing what to do, you let your hand fall limply to your side as you made your way back to your desk and continued to set everything up, trying hard to ignore the embarrassed heat that had rushed into your cheeks.

---

You had been a part of the BAU for three weeks now and you were almost completely settled in; the only thing that still set you on edge was Spencer Reid. Ever since your first interaction, the two of you had barely spoken, Spencer always making sure the leave the room as soon as it was only the two of you. You tried not to let it bother you but you couldn’t help but wish you knew what you had done wrong in your first interaction with him.

It was late on a Friday night and you and Spencer were the only two people left in the office, everyone else having decided to leave early to get a head-start on their weekend. You were sitting at your desk, going through the pile on reports you had to get through while Spencer was in the boardroom, studying the evidence board that had been left up. All of a sudden, you heard a loud bang sound on the window. Turning around in your chair, you saw Spencer standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by paper scattered on the floor.

Without thinking, you jumped up and rushed into the boardroom, wanting to check that Spencer was okay.

‘What happened in here?’ you asked, leaning against the doorframe.

‘Nothing,’ Spencer muttered, keeping his back towards you as he bent down to start picking the papers up. You pushed yourself off of the doorframe and moved into the room to help him. ‘I don’t need any help,’ Spencer said, a cold sound to his voice that seemed to push you over the edge.

‘Seriously, Spencer, what have I done to you?!’ you exclaimed, making Spencer finally look at you. ‘Ever since I started here, you’ve seemed to have gone out of your way to make me feel unwelcome, you’ve spoken to me once and that was when I introduced myself. What did I say that pissed you off so much?!’

Spencer was quick to cut your sentence off by pulling you into him and crashing his lips onto yours. His grip was harsh on your hips as he held you against him as his tongue licked into your mouth. Your fingers came up to thread through his hair, a small growl coming from Spencer’s throat when you tugged lightly. Almost as quickly as it began, Spencer roughly shoved you away from him and ran his hands through his hair, watching as your chest moved up and down while you tried to catch your breath.

‘Spencer what’s going on?’

‘I’m not…good anymore,’ he said quietly, almost as if he was struggling to find the right words.

‘What do you mean?’ you asked, moving closer to him and tentatively taking his hand in yours. You watched as Spencer’s shoulders seemed to relax at the feel of your hand in his and he sighed heavily before leading you both over to some of the chairs that were around the table.

‘I never used to be like this. Prison changed me. I used to be this clean-cut, good guy and I just feel that prison kind of squashed that out of me and when I saw you on your first day, I knew that there was no way I could let myself near you because I’d never want to pull myself away and you don’t deserve that. You deserve someone who is good and doesn’t have a criminal record.’ He said the last part of his sentence under his breath, almost as if he didn’t want to admit it for himself.

‘Spencer, I don’t care that you went to prison, why would I? And you definitely don’t have the right to decide if you’re good for me or not, that’s a decision I can make for myself.’

‘You’re right,’ Spencer said heavily, ‘I’m sorry.’

You tried your luck and inched closer to him and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, your heart clenching in your chest when you heard his breath catch as you felt him lean into you. ‘Can we start again?’ you asked, your faces inches apart.

‘I’d really like that,’ Spencer whispered in reply.

You smiled at him softly before leaning back and holding your hand out to him. ‘Hi, my name’s (Y/N), I’m new here.’

‘Dr Spencer Reid, it’s really nice to meet you (Y/N),’ he said, smiling at you as he took your hand and shook it.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds

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bertinworms · 1 year

Text

Late Night Talking

Pairings: Tangerine x gn!Reader

Tags/Warnings: language & cussing, reader is sad/going through it, comfort, angst ig, lmk if anything was missed!!!

Word Count: 3.7K

Summary: You had been having a hard time recently and it all hits a wall when Tangerine comes home early in a bad mood and accidentally scares you. You end up sobbing in his arms.

************************************************************************

Most people you knew assumed that in your relationship, you were the one who kept both of you down to earth, and most of the time that was true.

You and Tangerine had been together for a while which meant that you had been present for multiple Tangerine tantrums, as you and Lemon liked to jokingly call them. Sometimes the boys would have a job go wrong and Tan would come home upset, steam practically coming out of his ears, rambling about what could have gone better and why. Sometimes Tangerine would come home from a particularly scary job, like the job in Kyoto that he refused to tell you anything about, and practically go mute - shut off the world, and take a break from everything. Whatever he needed to do to decompress — but he never, ever aimed any of it at you. His anger or frustration was shared, but he always made sure that you understood he was not upset with you, he’d just had a rough job that go around.

Tangerine’s many moods and how he processed his job never bothered you. The man had a pretty tough job and whatever way he chose to process that job was up to him. Plus you enjoyed taking care of him – when he let you. It seemed that he took care of you in every other aspect of life. The man paid for anything and everything you wanted or looked at, so being there for him made you feel important. It had taken him a while to get used to the constant reassurance, trust and love from you, but he now greatly accepted it.

You on the other hand were still having a hard time letting Tangerine be there for you emotionally. Being vulnerable was not one of your strong suites.

Tangerine’s jobs usually took him away from you for long periods, and usually took a lot out of him. So whenever Tan was home, you didn’t want to bother him with what was going on in your mundane life. You felt like your worst days would probably be a wonderful one compared to some of his bad days. So when Tan was home, and even when he was on a job, you didn’t usually tell him the full truth of how you were doing or how your day went. You would conveniently leave out the part where you accidentally dropped your keys into the garbage somehow, or how you dropped your phone in a muddy puddle, or how the day had been an extremely overstimulating one for whatever reason. You usually could step away for a second, take a breather, and you were back to being fine. It wasn’t that big of a deal, you just needed to push it down and enjoy the time you had now with Tan before he went away again for gods know how long.

Sometimes when Tangerine was on a trip, you would come home and have a good cry for a solid ten minutes and then get on with making dinner or any other chore needing to be done. And today was no different.

This March had felt like the longest month you had ever lived through. So many little things kept going wrong. Every day seemed to be a little bit worse. And you hadn’t seen Tangerine in exactly fifteen days. You had woken up late that morning because your phone apparently hadn’t charged the night before, then you couldn’t find your keys, you had spilled coffee on yourself right before walking into work, you had a coworker who had made a rude comment to you, your boss had reprimanded you for something that wasn’t your fault, and to top it off on your way home someone had rear ended your car, sending you to the hospital to be checked out where you had sat in a room for three hours, alone, waiting to be discharged.

You just wanted to go home, crawl into bed and disappear. The regular day had been a horrible one anyways and sitting in a cold, scary hospital room alone where you had been examined and poked about fifteen thousand times did not help. You also hadn’t heard from your partner in almost a full 48 hours. Your anxiety was now through the roof. You were tired. You were sore. You were sad. You wanted to go to bed.

You unlock the front door and step into the dark and quiet place that belonged to you and Tangerine. You quickly slip off your shoes by the front door and head towards the kitchen where you set your keys and phone down on the island counter.

You tap your phone screen – 8:43PM and no notifications. You take a deep breath in, and let out a sigh as you rub your eyes, willing the headache of the day to go away. It didn’t work.

‘Maybe some water and a snack would help,’ you think to yourself as you head towards the refrigerator. You quickly grab some water and a snack and grab your phone before making your way to the living room where you slumped onto the couch. While eating your snack, the thought of Tangerine can’t help but come to your mind.

You pick your phone off of the couch cushion, unlocking it and going to your last text thread from Tangerine.

Tangerine had texted you the morning before, a simple, ‘Good morning, love. Thinking of you, hoping to be home in the next few days. X’

When you had woken up to the text, it had made you smile. But now that it had been two days of no responses from him or Lemon, it felt more like a taunt. You were used to Tangerine being very hit or miss when it came to communication while he was on the job – it was for safety. But with this being one of the longest jobs he and Lemon had ever been on, it made you nervous. So you read back over your texts.

7:03AM: morning tan – hope you and lem are keeping each other safe! im ready for you to be home safe again ♡

1:43PM: a package was delivered for you. im not sure if its a new suit, work stuff or something else so im leaving it in the garage for when your home lol

9:42PM: im headed to bed, but wanted to let you know im just thinking about you. i love you and hope youre safe wherever you boys are at. get home soon ♡

11:32AM: missing you extra today, as cheesy as that sounds. hope you arent getting yourself into too much trouble

You roll your eyes at the last text you had sent. That was a little too cheesy even for your taste, let alone Tangerine’s.

You start typing out a message to Tangerine. Thinking about telling him a little about your day, or even just telling him you missed him and loved him and couldn’t wait to just see him face-to-face again. But you erase the half written message, worrying that he might get annoyed by your abundance of needy texts that didn’t really have a need to be sent.

You let out another sigh as you turn your phone off, setting it on the coffee table in front of you along with the trash of your snack. You grab the throw blanket laying across the back of the couch and slump further down the couch until you’re laying down with your head supported by the arm rest. You absentmindedly look out the window next to you.

You were glad you had left the lights off in the flat. The lights of the city outside the window allowed for a soft glow to seep into the room. Without the lights on you were able to see the quiet street and watch the people of the night go about their business. You wanted some sort of distraction, but the thought of scrolling on your phone or turning the television on seemed like it would make the headache you had even worse. It also allowed for your brain to wander gently between thoughts.

You wonder where the people on the street below are going.

You wonder where they’re coming from.

You wonder where Tangerine and Lemon are.

You wonder if they were safe, if something bad had happened.

And before you realized it, your eyes had grown heavy and you had dozed off.

You jolted as you were rudely awoken by the refrigerator door shutting harshly. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears as you realized you weren’t in the place alone. You didn’t move at first as you opened your eyes to see who was there. You could make out the silhouette of a man standing in the kitchen, illuminated by a small amount of light coming in through the window from the street lights. Tangerine hadn’t called or texted you before you had fallen asleep so you weren’t sure if it was him. You were hoping it was him, if it wasn’t you didn’t know what you would do.

“Tan?” you half whispered.

“Yeah.” He says dryly. You watched as he turns towards your voice and flips on the light above the kitchen island. You blink a few times to adjust to the bright light and give him a look over.

He looks tired, or maybe annoyed? You couldn’t really place the emotion, but it wasn’t a positive one. You notice his suit jacket is laid over the back of one of the barstools with his suitcase propped up against it. You look from the jacket, back to him and notice a few bruises and small cuts that range from his face to the exposed upper chest sticking out from a slightly unbuttoned undershirt.

You watch as Tangerine quietly moves around the kitchen gathering a variety of things to make some sort of meal. His movements are sharp and more than once he lets a cabinet shut a little roughly.

You clear your throat as you readjust how you’re sitting so you can see Tangerine better. “I didn’t realize you’d be back home tonight. How did the job go?”

He looks up at you with half a sandwich on the way to his mouth. “D’rather not talk ‘bout it, love.” He quickly says before taking the last bite of his dinner.

You watch as he puts his dishes in the sink and washes his hands. You watch as he dries them off and then places his hands on either side of the sink, almost bracing himself. You could tell something was stuck on his mind as he takes a breath in and closed his eyes.

You begin to play with the blanket laid over you out of nerves, avoiding looking at him. You couldn’t read Tangerine’s mood and you worried something serious had happened.

“Why didn’t you wake me up when you got in? You scared me when y–”

You were cut off by Tangerine.

“Wouldn’t have to be concerned about who had gotten in if ya’d keep the front door locked, would ya now?” He snaps, raising an eyebrow and cocking his head at you. He hadn’t raised his voice, but the look on his face shares the irritation he has.

The tone in his voice had taken you by surprise and had caused you to stop fidgeting with the blanket and look up at him. Tangerine wasn’t prone to snapping at you out of nowhere like he just had. Even after a particularly bad job, he usually was able to keep his aggravation not geared towards you.

“Excuse me?” You question him, your voice faltering as you look at him. His face was tense. You couldn’t pin if he was truly irritated with you or if he was taking out his last fifteen days on you.

“Ya left the fuckin’ front door unlocked. Again, love.” He readjusts his stance and stands up straight, with his arms crossed. You let out a small sorry, but either he doesn’t hear it or doesn’t care as he continues on.

“I’ve told ya so many times, ya got ta keep it locked.” He drags a hand down his face, and rubs his chin. “Do you know how dangerous it could be? What happens if some prick comes lookin’ for me? When me and Lemon aren’t here, you’ve got–”

This time you cut him off. “Tan, I apologized. It was a fucking accident. Okay?”

You couldn’t even remember if you had or hadn’t locked the fucking door when you got home. All you remember is wanting to just be inside and hidden from the day. And you start to tear up just thinking about the last few weeks you had had.

“Accident or– if someone – it is dangerous, darling. Do you know–” he cuts himself off as he looks directly at you. At this point tears are streaming down your face and you’re wiping them off of your cheeks.

“Tangerine. Please. For the love of god. It was an accident. I didn’t mean to leave the god damned fuckin’ door unlocked. I don’t even remember– I–”

It becomes harder to speak the more you talk. You hadn’t meant to just break down. But the combination of the last few weeks, being startled awake and the tone of Tangerine, you just couldn’t not let it all out.

You rub your face with both your hands as you take a shaky breath in and look up towards Tangerine. You realize he had made his way across the distance from the kitchen island to the coffee table as he stood a few feet away from you. The features of his face had softened, he had a look of sadness on his face.

“I know you’re afraid when you leave me someone will show up, it was an accident. I’m fine now. Okay? Just let up, Tan.” You can’t even try to stop the tears now.

“Love, m’sorry.” he sits down at the edge of the couch, “I just worry. So, so much when I’m not ‘ere. Especially when I’m gone so fuckin’ long. ‘Didn’t mean to snap, it was just a shit job. M’sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, my love.”

“It wasn’t just you, Tan. Its… It’s just been such a day. It’s been such a month.” You sniffle and wipe another tear off of your face. You take a deep, shaky breath. “I’ve really missed you.”

“Oh, darlin’. I’ve missed you as well, more than I’d probably like to admit. How about a hug? Is ‘t okay if I get closer?” He asks, setting a hand close to your crossed legs on the couch.

You sniffle and nod your head.

At this point Tangerine readjusts himself to where he is fully sitting on the couch. He pulls you into him and holds you tightly, wrapping one of his arms around your head and pulling it to the crook of his neck. He kisses your head as you further break down.

“I’m so sorry. You just got home and I don’t mean to be like this. I just, I had such a bad day and then you scared me waking me up like that and you’re upset with me, I know it’s scary when you leave and you can’t be here making sure I’m safe. I know you just got back and you were gone for so long and–” you wrap your arms around his waist and begin to cry harder.

You hadn’t meant to upset him in the first place. You knew he always worried about you, and you felt even worse that you were sobbing into his chest, making him worry even more.

“Tangerine, I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to–”

You're cut off by Tangerine hugging you a little closer.

“Love, it’s okay. M’not upset with you, I was just being a right fuckin’ asshole, yeah? I didn’t really mean what I said. You’ll always be safe as long as M’here. Wha’s happened? Wha’s wrong?” Tangerine says while he starts to gently run a hand over your hair.

“One thing just hasn’t happened, it’s just been so many little things. And you’ve been so busy with work. Tan I’ve missed you. And I didn’t mean to make you mad as soon as you got home. I hadn’t even realized I didn’t lock the door.” You say, squeezing your arms around him even tighter. If you could be any closer to the man, you would be, but you don’t think it’s physically possible.

You take a deep breath again with a sniffle, gaining more composure before starting again.

“I just got home tonight and I just wanted to go to bed, Tan. I barely even remember what all I did when I got home. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to have to worry or to be mad at me.” You sniffle once more and bring a hand up to wipe your eyes.

“Darlin’, I promise I’m not upset with you.” Tangerine says petting your head again and kissing your temple.

“But you’re tone. Tan, you’ve never spoken to me like that. You were mean, you sounded mad.” You sniffle again. God. You needed a tissue, but you weren’t going to risk moving out of Tangerine’s arms. You didn’t think you could bear to look him in the eyes, even if you had stopped sobbing.

“M’sorry, ya know I’ve been with Lemon for the last few weeks and I’ve been dealing with right arseholes. It just slipped, yeah? It isn’t right of me, but it just happened. I promise I’m not upset with you or even mad at you – I could never be mad at you, love.”

He lets out a sigh before pulling back from you for a second, adjusting you both in a way where he can look into your eyes. He wipes away some of the left over tears on your face

“I promise I am not mad at you. And I promise I won’t bring my work tone back home to you.” He says, making sure to emphasize each word a little slower than he usually would.

Your eyes trail over his face, looking at the bruises that scatter his body closer than you previously could. “Okay,” you say quietly, realizing just how tired you were and you could imagine Tangerine felt the same.

“What can I do to make it up to you? What can I do to make up for the last sixteen days?” He holds your face in his hands softly, rubbing a thumb over your cheek. You let out a yawn, followed by a soft smile.

“You don’t have to do anything, Tan. It’s okay, really.” You bring your hands up and place them over his. “Let’s just go to bed, yeah? We can make up for the last few weeks after some sleep. I know you’ve got to be tired – not to be rude, but you look like hell.”

Tangerine lefts out a soft chuckle, and you smile once more. He leans forward and places a soft kiss on the tip of your nose, and then your lips.

“Let’s put you to bed then. But I’ve got to shower before bed, love.” He helps untangle you from the throw blanket you were previously wrapped in and then stands himself. You walk to the barstool in the kitchen grabbing the handle of his suitcase as he grabs his suit jacket, and you both head towards the bedroom.

“Well I’m glad you made that decision by yourself. I wasn’t going to say anything, but you do smell like work.” You say jokingly, scrunching your nose at him and letting out a small laugh.

Tangerine’s face breaks out in a grin before he throws his suit jacket towards the hamper and turns to you. You go to set his suitcase by his side of the bed when you’re suddenly blinded by Tangerine coming up from behind you and engulfing you in the shirt he was just wearing.

While your back was turned, Tangerine had unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and had now cocooned you in it. “Shoulda kept your mouth shut, love.” He laughs as you try to push him away from you.

You laugh as you turn around, now facing his chest. “Jesus, Tangerine– you smell so bad.” You duck down and out of his arms, falling back onto the bed before Tangerine tackles you flat onto the bed.

“It's the wonderful smell of a man who’s not showered in three days, dear.” He begins to shower you in kisses as you try to push him away between laughs.

“Tan, EW! Go make it zero again!” You laugh as he gives you a final, overdramatic kiss on your cheek as he gets off of you, throwing his shirt into his hamper before heading to the bathroom with a “Whatever you say, lovely.”

You smile to yourself as you wipe your face, attempting to wipe off the grime you felt from Tangerine’s attack.

While Tangerine quickly showers, you plug both of your phones into their chargers and set them on their respective bedside tables. You also change into your own night clothes before turning off the overhead light and crawling into the bed. A few seconds later Tangerine follows suit and you move closer to him.

“Better now, yeah?” He says, pulling the collar of his shirt out and offering it to you to smell.

You swat his shirt away before snaking an arm around his waist, and giving him a kiss on his jawline.

“Much better, thank you.”

You smile to yourself as you lay your head onto his chest, and Tangerine scoots closer to you letting his arm snake around your waist and pulling you tight to him as he gives your forehead a kiss. You had missed this, you had missed him.

You knew you and Tangerine would have a chat in the morning about how he was doing, and what had happened with you, and how much you had missed the other. Lemon would probably come around and would tell you about how much Tangerine whined about missing you the entire trip, which would cause a spat between the two. But for now, all you could think about was how at home you felt. How comfortable you were. How happy you were that your Tangerine was finally home, safe in your arms.

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A/N: i dont just absolutely love this piece, but i've been going through it and very much benefited off of writing this lmfao

if you liked this, check out my master list! --> HERE if you have a request, feel free to send it in! :]

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3/21/2023: edited to update warnings

3/22/2023: edited to fix grammatical mistakes and text formatting

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matthew-gray-gubler-lover · 6 months

Text

Sex With Spencer Reid All Seasons (season 13)

If you are under the age of 18, please do not read this story. Thank you.

This will cover what I believe sex would be like with Spencer Reid from season 1 to 15. Warning contains adult situations, Sex. Dirty talk, Orgasms, Crying, Spoilers for all seasons and Spencer Reid being a sex God.

Also includes fingering and oral sex. (Female receiving only.)

These are a little bit longer than I anticipated them to be because I wanted to give a back story as to why the sex is the way that it is for each season. To give it in depth feeling of why Spencer was the way that he was in bed that season. So I will be posting them by each season rather than all at once. I hope this gives you something to look forward to, and please leave comments, I will be leaving links to the next season below.

You are a new agent at the BAU and Spencer Reid's girlfriend, the one who takes his virginity and has sex with him for all 15 seasons and beyond.

Spencer Reid knew the first time he saw you walk through the doors of the BAU that you were the one that he was going to love forever. The first time you smiled, he knew it was the only smile that he ever wanted to wake up to. The first time he touched your hand, he knew yours was the only hand he ever wanted to hold. The first time he kissed you, he knew your lips were the only ones that he ever wanted to have pressed against his own. and the first time he made love to you, he knew you were the only one he ever wanted to do this with, and he also knew he would never be the same you or his life now, his love and his only desire.

Season 13

Spoilers for season 13

Once Spencer is finally released from prison and Cat Adams is done playing her game with him, Diana is found safe and Emily is found and Mr. Scratch is finally gone. you're back at home And are both exhausted from the really rough few days that you've had, let alone the past three months.

You drag yourself into yours and Spencer's apartment and flop on the couch. Spencer is right behind you after he shuts and locks the front door.

"I'm so glad to have you back home Spencer. I missed you so much." You told him as you just stared at him. You couldn't keep your eyes off of him. You're just so happy that he's back home, trying to forget how horrible it was the whole time he was in prison.

"I'm so tired too. You must be so tired as well. You couldn't possibly have gotten much sleep in prison. How about we just take a shower and go to bed? Or we can just go to bed if you'd rather. I understand if you don't want to be touched. It must have been awful in there. I'll keep my distance if you want me to." you offered.

The whole time you've been talking, Spencer's just been standing there at the door, staring at you. You're not sure what's wrong. Did you do something wrong? Say something wrong? He seemed like the sweet Spencer that he was before he went into prison, But maybe he's different now.

"Spence?"

Before you knew it was happening, he was rushing towards the couch, putting his hands on both side of your face and kissing your lips with passion.

"I missed you so much. You're all I thought about in there. I didn't think I was ever going to be able to kiss you again. Every time you came to visit me, all I wanted to do was just hold you in my arms and kiss you. Please don't keep your distance. I don't want you to stay away from me. I want to hold you. I want to Make Love to you. I want to kiss you. I want to take showers together. Bubble baths together. I had so many dreams in there about doing all of these things. And then I woke up and you weren't there, I wasn't in our apartment. I wasn't even in a hotel room with you on a case. I was in that horrible, horrible cell. I just want to spend as much time with you as I can. Please don't go away." he asked you almost begging.

"OK baby, don't worry. I'm not going to leave. I'm not going anywhere. I want all the same things that you want. I missed you so much. I worried about you every single minute of the day."

You both gave in to desire as Spencer kissed you and scooped you up off of the couch, carrying you bridal style into your shared bedroom. Everything was just as he remembered, as he laid you down on the Forest Green comforter. The lights were the same, the window shades were the same. Everything looked exactly the way that he remembered it.

Spencer kissed you, and the comforter felt so nice against his arms as he laid on top of you, kissing you, both of you still fully clothed.

Spencer pulled his lips away from yours. You noticed that There were tears in his eyes. You lifted up your hands and wiped them away with your thumbs before whispering. "You don't have to cry. I'm here. This isn't a dream."

Spencer sniffled and kissed your left hand, noticing your wedding ring sparkling in the moonlight That was seeping through the window.

"Promise?... Promise? This isn't just a dream. I'm not going to wake up back in there?" he asked.

"i promise."

Spencer stood up off the bed and started to remove his tie before unbuttoning his shirt. As he did so, you notice little bruises and scratches, a few cuts here and there, not even being able to allow yourself to wonder what happened to him in there.

All you wanted right now was to enjoy how beautiful Spencer is standing there before you shirtless. As he starts removing his pants, all you want is your husband. That's all you wanted for the past three months.

You were so caught up in staring at him that you didn't even notice the tears that was running down your face. But Spencer did, leaning down to wipe away the tears the same as you did with him before kissing you on the lips and saying, "it's not a dream remember?"

He then began removing your clothes, starting with your burgundy sweater. While his burgundy sweater really You wore his sweaters a lot so that you could feel close to him while he was away.

Once you are completely bare, he looked at you, lit up by only the moonlight.

"are you ok?" you asked him.

"yes, i...i missed you so much, but you said you are tired are you sure you want this?" he asked with such sadness in his voice.

"Yes of course I do. I missed you so much. But if you're tired, and I know you must be, we don't have to do this. We can just go to sleep and....."

Spencer cut you off with a passionate kiss to the lips. That was the start of a beautiful evening.

He kissed a trail from your lips, neck all the way down to your center. He opened your legs and asked, "Are you sure you want this?"

"yes please i need it so badly."

Spencer then put his head down and began licking you. Something that you missed so very much. You missed the touch, the smell, everything of Spencer Reid. He was all that you wanted, all that you needed.

After two orgasms from oral, Spencer kissed his way back up and asked. "You sure you want more? I can wait until tomorrow."

"If we wait until tomorrow, we both might explode. Please. Please. I need you Spencer. I need you so badly. I needed you then. I need you now. I'll need you always."

And with that Spencer slowly slid inside of you and interlace your fingers together, Both of you moaning with the extreme pleasure. Not being with each other for so long made everything so sensitive, even though you just had two orgasms from oral. Spencer's movements were slow. His kisses were filled with love and appreciation for you. It's as though Spencer never wanted this moment to end. And truly, you didn't either.

You were so happy to be back together, and you're both very thankful for the six weeks' worth of vacation time that you were given.

Once Spencer was reinstated, he was very happy to be back on the team, but disappointed to learn that it wasn't A full reinstatement. He would have to take time off and it was mandatory but was thrilled to hear that he was going to be able to be a professor thanks to Prentiss.

You thought the Spencer looked so cute as a professor. Of course you always thought that he was hot. And that's what sparked the idea in your head. One day you didn't have a case in Spencer was working at the school, so you decided to go and bring him a surprise lunch.

You Tippy toed into the room as Spencer was still teaching. There was still 5 minutes' worth of teaching time before Class was lit out for lunch.

You couldn't help but notice how all the girls in the class were flipping their hair and staring at your husband as he walked back and forth describing criminology.

You even heard a couple of them say he's so hot as they walked out of the room to go to lunch. Something that made you angry but also very proud because you're his wife and those girls will never have him.

Spencer was erasing the chalkboard when he heard a familiar voice.

"Hey there Professor Sexy"

He turned around to see you walking towards him, holding a little bag in your hand containing his lunch.

"Y/N" he said loudly.

"yep it's me, and i can't Begin to tell you how sexy you are when you teach. I didn't think that you could get any sexier, but lo and behold, you did." You told him as you placed the plastic bag on his desk.

"what's this?" he asked after kissing you.

"It's your lunch. A Turkey sub on wheat with a side of potato chips."

"Thank you honey, this is so sweet. What inspired this? He asked as he took the sub out of the bag."

"Just missed you."

"i missed you too, and you know i am Hungry, but I think that I'm going to save this sub for later because there's something else that I really want to eat right now.

"oh, i'm sorry i thought...." Spencer cut you off with a kiss before whispering in your ear. "Don't you want to know what I'm hungry for?"

"yes"

"you" he whispered in your ear.

"How do you feel about having sex on my desk?" he asked you.

You couldn't believe what he was suggesting doing, and if you weren't so turned on, you might have thought differently than you were right now. But all you could think about was how sexy he was and how much you wanted him.

"yes, yes i want to" you answered.

That was all he needed to hear. He picked up the sub and put it back in the bag and placing the bag on his chair before lifting you up and putting you up on the desk.

Making things all the better for him was the fact that you were wearing a skirt Today he lifted that up, removing your black underwear and licking right up your center.

"Mmm so good, and Exactly what I wanted." he moaned.

You moaned as you put your head back on the desk and ran your fingers through his curly hair.

"Are you close baby?" He asked you.

"yes" you moaned out.

Just then, he pulled his mouth away from you before quickly removing his belt and dropping his pants along with his underwear. Didn't even give you time to fully process what was happening. You didn't even really realize that his mouth had left you before he was pushing inside of you.

"Oh honey I'll never get tired of this feeling. You always feel so good around me. I want you to finish with me inside of you OK?"

"ok"

If someone would have told you when you first met Spencer that one day he would be a professor and you'd be having sex on his desk, you would have told them they were completely insane, that this man would never have sex with you on his desk. but here you are.

You were even more surprised to how much time he was taking with you, given that class is going to resume after lunch.

"Did you ever fantasize about this honey? About having sex with your professor husband on his desk?" Spencer asked you.

"yes i have" you answered.

"you know i think some of the girls in my class think about it to, but you are the only one who can have me like this," he whispered in your ear.

Spencer chuckled before asking. "Ready?"

"YES!" you tell out. right before spencer came inside of you.

Both of you moaning together in unison.

It's a good thing that you're both done, because as soon as he got done moaning your name and your ear, the bell rang, lunch was officially over, and Professor Sexy had to go back to teaching those girls who wanted your husband but would never have him.

Spencer kissed you and said "thank you for lunch"

As you walk to the door, you can see the girls ogling at your husband again, but you walked out knowing that you were the only one who could ever have sex with him on his desk, or anywhere for that matter.

That night when Spencer came home and was grading papers, you couldn't keep your eyes off of him still wearing his outfit from being a professor. Not really that much different than the clothes that he wears normally at the BAU. but still there was something about him.

You made dinner and then spencer took a shower. Spencer still has some papers to grade.

So you decided to take your shower while you were waiting for him to get done grading. You were still so turned on by him as he sat Wearing his Gray bathrobe in his comfy green chair, located in front of the window right next to the bookshelf with a light and a little table. As he graded the papers. Just looking so beautiful, so sexy. So gorgeous.

When you are done with your shower, you came back out of the bathroom wearing your pink bathrobe.

You could see that there wasn't many papers left in front of Spencer, so you walked over to him and stood next to the chair.

spencer looked up at you and said "hey baby what's up?"

"Just watching my sexy professor husband wondering how much longer it's going to be before I can take care of him."

"i just finished the last paper."

"well that's good Because I couldn't wait for you anymore, you told him as you begin kissing his neck, standing next to the chair, making your way onto his lap.

As you did so, you could see something starting to peek up through the opening of Spencer's bathrobe, and you couldn't be happier to see it. You on tied his bathrobe and sunk down onto his perfect penis. You were so greedy for him, you just swallowed him right on up, causing Spencer to moan.

"are we going to have sex right here?" spencer asked.

"yep" you answered.

Your movements were slow and your kisses were full of love. You just wanted to feel your husband inside of you again, something that you missed so much the three months that he was away. And truth be told, he couldn't get enough of you either.

But the slow movements became too much for Spencer. He ended up holding onto your hips and thrusting up into you, causing you to throw your head back and moan out his name.

Spencer then picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist, never pulling out and carrying you into your bedroom, laying you softly on the bed and making love to you.

You were both so glad that Spencer was back home. The love of your life was back with you in your bed, holding you tight, listening to the sound of his heartbeat, feeling his fingertips run up and down your back, telling you, loving things. And you were never going to lose him again.

Of course, you really didn't like the fact that the new recruits for the BAU kept ogling at your man. but Again you knew that you were truly Spencer Reid's. One and only love.

Everything was going so wonderfully for you and Spencer. That was until the day that he got kidnapped again.

Masterlist for these stories

#doctor spencer reid #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #dr reid #mgg #reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid criminal minds #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid x fem!reader

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jarofstyles · 10 months

Text

Beauty and the Beast - Nightshade

The moment you've been waiting for, the answers are here :) sorry this took a literal year (and then some)

Check out our Patreon for early access and exclusive content!

wc: 6.3k

warnings: not many warnings in this one, just a reference to character's death

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This wasn’t his plan.

Harry never wanted her to see this room. At least, not yet. This was… an escape from his past. One he was slowly starting to try and move on from now that he and his love had finally expressed emotions and been able to give each other the proper reactions… but no.

He had never forbidden her from it, so he couldn’t really be angry. It did flare up in him, mainly because he was scared. Terrified of these memories and his past making her want to leave and forget him because he had held on to it for so long, but nothing was making sense lately. Not a single thing.

The only thing that made sense was how good it felt to hold her. Kiss her. Fuck her. She was what he wanted, and his head had never felt more clear in terms of what he wanted.

Her.

Finding her in the room, shaking like a leaf, he was terrified that she was going to leave. She wasn’t as sneaky as she would like to believe.

He had arrived earlier than he’d planned and as if he had a 7th sense, he heard her leave the bed. The moment she opened this door, however, he sprinted up the stairs.

It seemed… off. To see her in this room. Like it was a long time coming and yet, still a kick in the face. It obviously affected her, and he wasn’t sure how.

“My love?” He approached cautiously, not sure how to handle this fully. Did he touch her? Knock her out of it with his words? Why was she staring into the mirror in such a daze? And why was she shaking? “Beloved… what is wrong?” The rasp of his voice echoed in the large room.

“Do you know her?” Y/N asked, her voice calm despite how her blood ran cold with fear. She was in a daze and everything felt slow. It almost didn’t feel real.

Her eyes were still locked on the figure in the mirror, analyzing each feature as if her life depended on it. Millions of thoughts rushed through her head, meadows and laughter, images of sharing a loaf of fresh bread in secret, swimming in lakes… her focus blurred for a moment, thoughts became memories and her head snapped from the mirror to look at him.

“She…” his voice paused as he tried to word it the right way. She wasn’t yelling yet, which was a decent sign but he also knew he wasn’t out of the woods yet.

He completely would understand her anger at him for having a room full of a woman that wasn’t her, but he was going to take it down. Move on, because he had her… it just happened so quickly. He had hundreds of years to dwell on the past and only a few months in the future.

“She was why I had believed… that I was going to die.” He cleared his throat. “That was who I believed to be my beloved… and she was taken from me, years ago. I loved her very much. Usually, you die when your beloved does.” The voice in his throat felt rough, still not an easy topic to approach. Let alone to his new lover.

“So I thought… I was slowly losing it. And we lose ourselves to madness eventually, when our beloved are killed. However… all of the madness seems to be gone for me.” He was still confused on how that happened. He could have sworn that she was. But seeing Y/N standing in front of him now… he wasn’t sure at all.

The connection they had felt incredible.

“I’m sorry I’ve kept the things so long. I know it must be difficult to look at.”

“I’ve been seeing her in my dreams for months, Harry…” Y/N spoke, still too startled to express any emotion. “She practically lives in my brain.” She shook her head.

It was an odd feeling. Nothing Y/N could ever explain in words. He had loved her… truly enough to think she was the one. This woman who had been living in the shadows of her mind for months.

It seemed like she was the one going insane, not Harry.

“I’ve seen her at least once every week since I moved here… I feel like she has my eyes— don’t you think?” She asked timidly, swallowing the dryness in her throat to try and make sense of this. “Do you see her in me? Is that how I got here?”

Harry felt his already cold body freeze over.

Months?

“And you haven’t… you haven’t been in here at all?” He questioned wearily. When she shook her head, he swallowed.

Christ.

The vampire was positive there were no other hints of her around the house. This room was the one he came in when he wanted to think about her. It was how he kept sane for a good while. But the idea that she had constantly been seeing her… it startled him.

“I… I never really thought about comparing you to her.” The cool hands cupped her warm face, taking a look. Though, now looking at her… there were some uncanny similarities. The eyes. The lips. He knew them.. for far longer than he had known Y/N. “You are different. In most ways. I never thought of her in you, if that’s what you’re asking. You’re.. a very different person but you share some things. Some phrases… mannerisms. But I never put you both in a mirror.”

He liked her all on his own.

“I don’t know how this is possible.” He tilted her head up and stroked her heated cheek with his thumb, trying to wrack his mind over how it could happen. “Is she… what happens in your dreams, love?” His voice softens immensely, trying to coax out more of her thoughts.

“She doesn’t hurt me or scare me,” Y/N spoke, lips more in a pout now that he was holding her face. “She just… she knows something I don’t and she’s trying to tell me,” Y/N explained and closed her eyes. She needed to ground herself.

Knowing Harry had never compared them brought her a lot of peace. That still didn’t change the fact that it felt like looking into a mirror.

“You spent lots of time with her outside…” Y/N spoke quietly, humming with her eyes still closed. “You would pick her flowers… you swam… she really loved you.”

If it was possible, he knew his heart would stop.

“How do you know that?” He asked, considering just how she knew his antics. How she was aware of the fact that they’d pick flowers and swim and kiss in the sunlight. When he would risk it all to be outside with her because the sunshine made her happy and warm.

“She’s trying to talk to you?” And she wasn’t trying to rip Y/N to pieces? That was unusual for her. Possessiveness was a main personality trait for her and he didn’t mind it at all, but he was curious as to how the hell she didn’t seem to mind if she was inside of her head.

“What is she trying to say, angel?” He placed his forehead on hers. “Hm? Is she just telling you what we used to do?” That would be incredibly peculiar. How was she even communicating with her at all? And how was a human capable of receiving those sorts of messages?

If he didn’t know better, Harry would have assumed she would read his journals. But he knew where she was at all times, and never had the girl ventured into this room or opened a book that didn’t belong to her.

“You went somewhere earlier…” She decided to skip over his comment, choosing rather to focus on how the hell she was recalling this information. “When I woke up Ida said you’d be out for longer—”

The thoughts in her mind seemed to relax and she was able to open her eyes and look at him again.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Y/N searched his eyes for something to hold on to, she felt like she could give him more answers if he was fully transparent with her.

“No more secrets.”

The man took a breath, closing his eyes this time as he tried to figure out just how to explain this part to her.

“Okay. No more secrets.”

His hand took hers and led her towards the velvet green couch, sitting her down on it and sitting far too close next to her. Clasping her smaller hands in his own, he took a moment to compose himself.

“I went to see if I could find the contact information for a witch. Someone who knows far more about the soul-bonding process and could explain to me what had happened, why I was feeling the way I was…” he paused, throat drying slightly as he squeezed her hands. “Why I feel the way I do when I thought we only have one chance at love.”

His green eyes met hers, showing that he genuinely was confused but he cared. He cared for her so much, he loved her. It shouldn’t be possible, but Harry knew what he was feeling.

“You know… I thought maybe I was actually dying. And I wanted to spare you from it. But when I woke up, I knew I had to dig for answers. I couldn’t just allow you to suffer along with me as we had gotten attached. So I went to a frequent spot for the… otherworldly.” He chuckled lightly at the words he used. There probably were better ones, but it would make the most sense to her.

“When she died… I felt myself mourn. I was in so much grief and pain and anger... I've never physically hurt that badly before and yet…” He licked his dark pink lower lip, eyes searching hers. Recognizing bits of them. Now that he was thinking about the connection… It was true.

“I never felt the snap. I never felt… like I was going to die. That's what I’ve always been told. For soul bonds to break, for one of us to have died, the other should have felt the severing. And I never did.”

“Did you meet the witch?” Y/N asked as if that was a normal question for a human to ask a vampire. It seemed like for the time being Y/N wasn’t entirely there at the minute.

She tilted her head and waited for his answer, eyes taking in every bit of his appearance. Y/N had a feeling that he knew something that would make sense of the messages in her head. The feelings she was feeling as her own.

“I… Didn’t.” He grumbled, letting his eyes fall again. Another area where he had failed her. Truly, he wanted to be good to her. He wanted to give her the best and he couldn’t even figure out why he had gone crazy.

“I put in an inquiry. They’re busy people and while I may have a lot of pull in this world, they’re the ones with the answers. I was told I’d have someone show up to give me some, but I didn’t want to pour my story out to a witch that wasn’t going to help.”

He let himself relax slightly as she didn’t seem to get angry at him now. She just looked like she wanted answers… answers that were very valid. He knew he had been a bit of a dick for not giving them to her right away. He should have been transparent but… how?

It was difficult, usually, to work humans into this world. It was actually a bit… strange how well adapted she was.

-500 years prior-

The worst day of Harry’s life had started just like any other.

Summer was quickly coming to a close and while he himself didn’t mind the shift to cooler temperatures and shorter days, his beloved seemed to mourn the summer. Celeste believed that there was nothing that would ever compare to the feeling of dunking yourself into the lake on a warm day. She believed that there was nothing that brought her more tranquillity than gazing up at the stars while the warm humid air hugged her skin. Even when bug bites adorned her legs Summer reminded her that she was still human.

“My darling, wake up. We have to go.” The familiar sleepy voice of her lover woke Celeste from her slumber. With a firm yet gentle shake, she allowed her eyes to flutter open and adjust to the darkness of their cottage. “Please, we haven’t much time.”

The sound of footsteps quickly approaching from outside left Harry in a panic, but he couldn’t let her see. And while he felt Celeste was blissfully unaware of the fate that awaited her, the look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know.

Celeste never thought her worst nightmare would actually come true. She had spent years protecting her home and the land around it. Her enchantments attracted nothing but positive light and all those who crossed her path were destined to meet her. All the animals knew they were welcome and always rewarded her for her efforts to enrich their earth. Celeste had spent her whole life here in the forest, only venturing into town when she urgently needed something. It wasn’t safe for witches in town, the common folk were terrified of magic and the creatures and spirits that fed off of them, but it was the job of her and her sisters to keep the city safe from any harm in secrecy.

She had met Harry by chance, she remembered the day so vividly. She stumbled upon him on her way home– She remembered the dazed look in his eyes and the blood on his collar. He looked so ashamed, crying against the back wall of the local bakery. Never had Celeste seen a vampire show so much remorse after feeding, but then again she hadn’t seen many vampires with her own eyes, to begin with. The Vampires upheld their deal of peace and ethics, as long as the witches protected them from the hunters.

The very hunters who were now trying to take her love away from her.

They’d been so careful. She knew that the safest place for Harry to be was with her. But it seemed that even her powers weren’t enough to overcome the evil that possessed humankind. The universe would always find its balance somehow, even in the cruelest of ways.

“Harry, they cannot know– I should not follow you, I fear they will question why I am not in my home at this hour should they find I am not here…” Celeste whispered, motioning down towards the tunnel in her cellar. They had talked about this plan before, but Celeste always knew she could never convince him to go on his own. So she never told him that part of the plan.

“My love, I refuse to leave you here alone–” A shout from the outside left his words to die in his throat. Harry shook his head, taking her wrist and pulling her with him without another word. Harry was cautious. Though he was aware that these men were after him and not his beloved, he couldn’t bring himself to trust those who have brought his kind nothing but shame and suffering. The hunters were everything but fair and if they had any reason to believe she was living with a fugitive, he knew she would be as good as dead.

He had dreams of them running away and rebuilding a home elsewhere, somewhere they could be truly safe. There were vampires who lived in the north who had mastered the art of camouflage. Rumors spread like wildfire saying they were mated and bonded, that they lived with humans who let them feed in a mutual exchange. Maybe it was wishful thinking on his part, but Harry would give up anything if it meant he could have the life he dreamed of with her. He just needed her there with him.

“My love, they shall not bring me any harm. The tunnel, it will bring you to the lake, you know your way from there. I promise I will find you once they see there is nothing for them to find here.” Celeste’s voice was soft as she reached to smooth the worry away from his brow. “Such a worry wort.” She giggled though she knew her fate was much to worry about. There could only be one reason the hunters would be suspicious of her. If her enchantments broke, it meant the fates had decided it was their time. Celeste, however, would never give him up, she knew he would wait for her forever. No, she could and would not let them find him.

Harry’s head turned quickly as he saw an orange glow begin to creep through the windows. He chose to be selfish in the little time he had left, pressing a kiss so full of love and longing that he hoped that it would somehow change her mind. The way her lips melded over his with a hunger she only saved for their most intimate moments, he swore they would be etched in his mind forever. He knew she wouldn’t let up.

“You must find me.” Harry breathed, his words a command as he pressed another desperate kiss to her lips. “My love, you are the only thing worth living for.” He hesitated, not wanting to leave this precious moment in fear that it would be their last.

With each second, he could hear the footsteps growing closer and closer, his eyes memorizing her form till he couldn’t anymore. A final stolen kiss was all he left for her as he disappeared into the cellar and ran like hell.

He shouldn’t have left her there, he knew that now.

In a sick and twisted way, he thanked the gods for sparing him the piercing sounds of her screams as she begged for mercy, for when he returned, the bloodied sight left him feeling hollow. She put up a fight, the way he always knew she would, but it seemed that the hunters came with no remorse. How could they claim that they were ridding the town of evil when they had done such cruel and horrible things to the purest creature he had ever known?

“It should have been me.” He thought, swallowing down thick tears, but as he looked around he realized that this evil would not have stopped at him.

-end of flashback-

He hadn’t taken the death of Celeste well.

He had avenged her the best he could. Ripped the hearts out of every single person he could trace to her death, letting them die the way he felt every day without her. It felt like he had little to no emotion, feeling only pain when he woke up.

It continued like that for years until he became comfortably numb. Still questioning why and how. Living without her was worse than any death, worse than anything he had ever could have imagined. But there was always this little light that never fully smothered. Her voice in the back of his mind saying she would find him again. His own recurring dreams that he figured were just a comfort to his psyche. The hope.

Once he met Y/N though? It had gone away. Completely. No more dreams. Almost any yearning was gone. He felt like a patch had been placed on the gaping wound and it had made him feel very, very guilty at first until he realized that maybe she would want him to be happy.

Y/N was so familiar. Like a piece of him in her that had stolen his breath when she had walked into the estate. Sure, she resembled Celeste more than some others did but she was her own person. He had fallen for her knowing that.

Y/N’s thoughts were running wild in her mind, attempting to connect the pieces of the story that she herself didn’t know. The longer she looked around the room the calmer came over her body where normally she’d expect rage and sorrow. Another woman adorned his walls, but Harry was only really focusing on her.

“Y/N tell me what you’re thinking of. I wish you would have told me about these dreams sooner, but there isn’t much we can do now except wait for–” Harry’s sentence was cut off by a knock on the door.

“Sir, someone is here to see you–” Ida began her introduction, but the woman behind her seemed to feel right at home.

“Oh goodness!” The woman exclaimed, stopping to take a look around the room. She didn’t look to be that old, but her spirit was far older than Harry and Y/N both. “I had a feeling you’d honor my sister, but with such commitment? I see the fates wanted some entertainment. Bless your no longer beating heart.” She smiled, placing a hand over her heart before approaching the two. “My dear, how are you finding your new body? It’s good to see you again. I’ve been awaiting your call.”

“What?” Y/N blinked at the woman, cocking her head as she tried to figure out why she looked so familiar. How did she know her? Where did she know her from?

Oh god.

This was not the way he wanted it to go- nor did he fully understand what exactly was happening. His brows furrowed, tucking Y/N into his body in slight protection as he stood up straighter, keeping a hand on her. As if she would slip away.

“Harry? What is she talking about?” Her voice peeped behind him, her hand tangled in his shirt. A resounding ache echoed in his chest as he stared at the witch.

Astrid.

Celeste’s sister. One for who Harry harbored a lot of resentment for not warning them. For not protecting his beloved back then. She had been somewhat nonchalant. Telling Harry that Celeste would meet him in another life. Her lack of care had ruined their goodwill, making Harry feel as though she didn’t fucking care that the love of his life - well, past? It confused them- was gone.

“I don’t know, darling.” His grip on her was firm, making Astrid scoff.

“Calm down, Fangs. I’m not going to hurt my sister… though- I have a feeling based on the incredibly confused faces, you haven’t actually figured it all out yet?” She laughed, shaking her head as she tried to peek around Harry. “Should probably listen to messages all the way through- just got excited to see her again. Tell me.” She paused, growling slightly when Harry kept her from view. “What’s your name in this life, sister? What did you choose? Y/N or Violeta?”

Y/N felt her heart drop to her stomach, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat before attempting to speak.

“How did you– Y/N. My name is Y/N.” Y/N looked between Astrid and Harry, waiting for one of them to tell her what on earth was going on. It seemed Harry was hesitant to accept the help of this woman, but she knew her name. “What is going on?” While her heart was beating a million miles a minute, she tried her best to sound strong. She was angry that Harry once again was hiding something from her, he clearly knew this woman and this woman knew him.

“Darling, I feel as though this is something you should take on with your… well since you haven't bonded I’m not sure what he is to you.” Astrid chuckled, “Always cautious you are, Harry. So respectful of my sister, but still haven’t learned to trust now did you?” She smirked seeing the anger flare through Harry’s expression. “No need to get angry at the truth, Harry. You mustn’t lie to the girl any more than you have.”

“Look, if you came here to laugh in our faces, you might as well make your way out.” Y/N felt her jaw clenching. “I’ve been having dreams of this woman since I’ve stepped foot in this home, your sister? You think I’m her?” Y/N asked in a pointed tone, she refused to have any more time wasted.

“I didn’t lie.” He snarled, baring fangs. He didn’t want to make this any more painful or weird than it already was for them! “I wasn’t sure. That is why I called to ask!”

“Blah, blah. Harry, you’re dense. Y/N- I apologize if that’s how it seems. Harry and I have always had our differences since your passing.”

Y/N blinked.

What?

What?!

“I know you are. It’s adding up.” She began softly, lowering her tone. The poor thing didn’t actually know, and Celeste was trying to pop through and this humanity she had been raised with was something that was trying to push it back. “The dreams you’ve been having aren’t dreams. They’re memories.” She sat on the armchair opposite where they were standing. Astrid was overly comfortable and it made Harry irritated, but Y/N could feel a seedling of fondness creep into her tummy.

It felt like she knew her.

“When Celeste died- I saved her soul.” She began, kicking her feet up on the table. “She- aka, you- always had an issue fitting in. It’s why she was targeted. A vampire and a witch… everyone could see it. Harry was struggling at the time, still adjusting to coming into vampiric adulthood. You both were so in love, you couldn’t see that people were noticing things. The way she never got sick, the things she could conjure up… it was incredible for the time period.” Astrid rolled her eyes slightly.

“And Harry? He abused conjuring. He got whatever he wanted whenever you batted those long eyelashes. Whipped to the tenth degree.”

Harry winced because as crude as she sounded… she wasn’t wrong.

“Two fools in love. I found out too late about the plans. I couldn’t save your physical form- but I saved your soul. Unfortunately…” she had the grace to look a bit bashful.

“Someone stole it. Vanessa- she had always been jealous of you and Harry. She had broke through an enchantment and stole the bottle I had your soul in. I got it back only a bit ago. That’s why it took so long. And Harry, here.” She gave him a glare. “Ignored my letters for a good few centuries. Rude.”

It was all a bit much to take in.

Y/N wasn’t sure what she was expecting, after all, it did involve vampires and witches. This certainly wasn’t on her list.

“So, you have my soul?” Y/N asked as if it was normal. As if she had any idea of how she ended up here. This whole time she thought she was her own person but this was a part of her. It didn’t make any sense, there was still a piece missing to the puzzle.

“Well, when I got it back, I drove up north because it seems all the bloodsuckers moved— and I released it.” Astrid continued, “About… say how old are you?”

“Almost 23.” Y/N swallowed, noticing how Astrid seemed pleased at her answer.

“23 years ago sounds about right.” Astrid hummed, “You know Harry, you should be thankful I brought her so close to you— who knows what would have happened had I not come up here.” It was clear that she was teasing, just getting the vampire riled up for her own entertainment.

“Any who… If Harry had opened my letters, he would have heard all about it. I’m glad you two found each other, I know how deeply you care for him… always knew you’d try to outsmart the fates— but you better not mess about this time!”

“Astrid.” He growled, feeling the rage inside of him brewing. “This is not funny.”

“I mean.” She waved her hand. “It’s a little funny. You’ve got each other now, don’t you? She isn’t gonna stick out so much. I figured you’d have that stick out of your arse since you’ve gotten her back butttttt…”

“You could have rang! Found me! Told me so I didn’t live in misery all these years. Of course, I’m ecstatic she is back, but you played me. Made me think there wasn’t a chance.”

Y/N could see him bristling, stiff as a board, with hair standing up on the back of his neck. Truly, he looked a bit monster like as she looked at his bared fangs and the veins that blackened beneath his eyes.

Her favorite show hadn’t been too far off.

“Harry.” She whispered, placing her hand on his chest. “Please. You’ve got to relax. I’m upset too. I’m confused. But getting combative isn’t going to give us answers.” She wasn’t afraid of him. Despite what most humans would feel, Y/N wasn’t worried about him hurting her. He would never. His hands were meant to nurture her. Soothe her. Pleasure. Not hurt.

Harry felt the warmth of her hand on his chest, the stiffness of his body relaxed a little. The veins and fangs remained, but his gaze softened as it laid on her.

“I’m sorry.” He gently pulled her to lean into his side, hand cupping the back of her head and letting her be pulled into his embrace. “I know you don’t like to see me like that.”

Harry was confused, because despite Celeste’s soul being inside of her… he fell in love with Y/N.

Her laugh, her giggle, her cinnamon sugar toast. Her painting, her cadence, and the way she preferred rubies to diamonds. The way her hair fell into her face even when she placed it up into that sleepy, messy bun. Her stories from school and how she always wanted to save any animal she saw outside.

It wasn’t just Celeste’s soul, but the personality she had gained here.

“She said she’d find you did she not?” Astrid asked with a chuckle, “and she’s here! You should be thanking me! It’s your own fault you haven’t bonded with her yet.” She rolled her eyes, though the sight of her sister in her new form warmed her heart.

She was different now— it seemed that the time in limbo had done her some good. Y/N seemed more free, almost innocent, it felt like she had found herself again. That sweet little girl that found joy in the peculiar, had found her way back home.

“Look, it’s quite simple— you love each other no? Harry, if you weren’t such a coward you would have already figured all of this out but it seems I must spell it out for you.” The woman grumbled as she stood up to leave.

“Celeste is alive and well, she’s found a home in Y/N’s soul the day she was born. Of course, they aren’t the same person, but when Celeste died her essence got a fresh start in her.” She started, looking between the two. “The second you bond with her, her memories will come back— but it won’t be Celeste. Unfortunately, well I guess fortunately for you, unless I recovered her body I wouldn’t be able to resurrect her fully. But she lives on within Y/N.”

Y/N was at a loss for words.

It was a bit disheartening, to think that her whole existence was just merely a part of some witch's plan for immortality. But if Astrid was telling the truth and that she was just a part of her, then it couldn’t be so bad right?

Surely it would hurt to see Harry get excited about seeing parts of Celeste in her, but if she was her then surely not? it all seemed a bit confusing. She wasn’t sure how it would work, but she was scared, to say the least.

“I….” He swallowed.

It was complicated. A weird mix of relief for finally having her back with him, but sadness because he knew how this was going to look to Y/N. The situation was quite literally one that had never happened in history books before.

“I fell in love with her. As much as Celeste will always be a part of me… I’m a little bit confused.” He turned slightly to Astrid. “She’s going to be… she will be aware of those memories?” He tried to soothe Y/N, his smooth hands running down her back but he could feel the unease oozing off of her.

“Oh, yes. But it doesn’t have to be complicated. Y/N, you’ve always been a bit confused about the missing pieces, haven’t you? Why you always feel as though Harry is so familiar to you? He’s literally made for you. Your body is a different vessel, but you’re still having the same feelings. It’s always been right.” Astrid paused, thinking of a good example.

“It’s why when you first moved in and Harry was probably his cold self and kept you at an arms length, it probably hurt, didn’t it? You felt a bit weird internally but shut it down because you’ve always been a bit too rational. Knowing you didn’t have a ‘right’ to feel upset but you did. It’s your old memories, old feelings. Harry wasn’t one to ever skimp on attention so it probably felt odd.”’

Y/N wasn’t going to bother asking how or why she knew that. It seemed that Y/N was just better off keeping to her ignorant bliss. Astrid had proved to both of them she knew far more about this than they did and she wasn’t going to fight— especially when they knew nothing about this soul bonding process on their own.

“I-I… if you’re saying I’m Celeste then are you saying I’m a witch as well?” Y/N asked curiously, though, she was uncertain about how she would feel about her answer. It was entirely possible. Were there rules she had to follow? Was there anything she had to do once she came into those powers?

Y/N was overwhelmed, to say the least, allowing herself to fully lean on Harry for support. She felt like this new information called for a long nap and a delicious meal immediately after she woke up. Nuzzling her face against Harry’s side she closed her eyes, waiting for Astrid’s answer. She didn’t care if she was being rude. Poor girl was feeling a bit lightheaded.

His cold body was a relief to the flush of heat that was through her at all of the intense information she had just received. She could have moaned as he placed his hand on the hot skin at the back of her neck, clutching onto him in a way that made the vampire a bit stressed.

“Yes. You absolutely are. Come on, girl. Do you really think that people can get things as easily as you? The manifesting thing on steroids? The things you chant to make yourself feel better…” Astrid laughed at the pure ignorance. The poor thing had been blissfully ignorant of everything up until now. “The powers are mostly dormant, I’m assuming. Considering you haven’t burnt the place down with rage, my sister, you have been held back. My assumption is that when Dracula bites you, the powers will start to come back as the bond strengthens.” She could feel Harry blinking at her, making her toss her hands up in a ‘whatever’ gesture. “I’ve done my reading. Deducing. Much better than that Sherlock did.”

He hadn’t known this would be the outcome and he had mixed feelings about it all. His old love was his new love, vice versa. He felt like his feelings were a betrayal to both of them.

The good thing was, though, his beautiful Y/N wouldn’t age the way a human would. She could truly be with him. It would be a matter of the soul mate bond snapping back into place instead of this constant edging between their souls and hearts.

“Fates.” Harry closed his eyes, massaging the back of Y/N’s neck soothingly. “Alright. Astrid- get out of my house. She’s feeling faint. Stay around the area, I’ll need you to return or at the very least, send one of your own to help her soon. She needs to be aware before I bond her fully.” He wanted Y/N to choose. Not just the older part of her soul.

“Alright, alright… but don’t wait too long, you don’t want to her find dead one morning.” Astrid sighed, half joking but there was some truth to it. Now that she was aware of the fates plan, there was only so much time left for them to decide. “You’ll know where to find me.” With a wave of her hand, Astrid was out the door.

Y/N was far too in her own mind to have heard her last comment, but Harry heard it crystal clear. While he may be a vampire, he was no stranger to the way the fates worked.

The fates were fair and just— it was their job to maintain balance here on earth, both for humans and the supernatural. At times their job led to making harsh decisions, if anyone broke the laws of the universe then they would see their fate flash before them.

Harry had never met someone as pure and kind as Y/N surely she was on the fates good side. He simply couldn’t see Celeste in her the way it seemed Astrid could. Though he loved Celeste dearly, he knew that their relationship was bound to end in a bloody disaster— he’d expected himself to be the one to break but the fates clearly had other plans.

Y/N let out a shaky breath against his shirt, clinging to him to find some stability. She needed to ground herself.

She needed to lay down.

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vacant--body · 9 months

Text

stay with me pt 3

azriel shadowsinger x OFC

part one, part two, part four, part five

warnings: torture, violence, gore, angst

✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖°

It had been a week since Ophelia left. A week since he heard her laughter, saw her smiling at him or swooning at her dizzying scent. It was already starting to slowly fade from the House of Wind. Without it, Azriel thought he might go crazy.

Even more than usual.

His shadows had told him that the day after…the day after Rita’s, Rhys had picked her up from the balcony outside her room. So, he figured she was out running a mission. But a week was unusual. She was normally gone for a couple days before she came back. Yet something just wasn’t sitting right with him. She had always checked in if she was going to be gone longer than what she said. And as far as he knew, she hadn’t.

And if he asked about her, he would seem desperate.

Okay, he was desperate. Desperate for her. For them to finally happen. Azriel was finally ready to tell her everything that he had been holding back all these months.

When she finally let him kiss her, he thought everything would fall into place. Things would work out, just as they worked out for his brothers. But of course not, nothing was that simple when it came to Azriel. The cauldron had cursed him, it was more than obvious now.

Had he done something wrong? Maybe he had misread the entire situation and took it too far. But she had wanted him, she was just as greedy to touch him as he was her. Everything had felt right, perfect, up until the moment Cassian had interrupted them.

Azriel was still pissed at him for it.

“You alright?” Feyre asked as Azriel stormed through the doors of the River House.

“Fine.” He spat back. As soon as the words left his mouth, he winced.

He didn’t mean to come off hateful towards his High Lady. He stopped walking and sighed up towards the ceiling, before turning around. “I’m sorry, it’s just-” What the fuck could he tell her? “Been a rough week.”

“I understand.” She smiled softly at him, her blue-grey eyes full of knowing. “Come, Rhys said he had something important for everyone.”

It was true, Rhys had summoned everyone to the River House. Maybe it was something Ophelia had relayed back to him and something was finally happening between the Human Queens and the Autumn Court. But as he and Feyre entered one of the sitting rooms, he could tell it was something much worse than that.

Eris was here.

“Now that Az is finally here, we can get started.” Rhys shot Azriel a accusatory glare from across the room.

“As you all know, Az and Phia had been gaining intelligence from the Autumn Court. It has been hard but every piece of information counts.” He began.

Rhys took a steadying breath, place a hand in his mates lower back. “Last week, I sent Ophelia out on a solo mission.”

A knot took form in Azriels chest. His knees felt weak and unsteady.

“She told me she would only be there for a couple of days, but obviously hadn’t returned yet.”

The knot tightened, it was getting hard to breathe.

“Feyre and I thought she may have found out something important and was still running reconnaissance, but when we traveled to the mountains in the Winter Court to see if the mental link would work if we were closer. Yet…nothing.”

The wood of the door frame shattered in Azriel’s hand, splinters embedding themselves into his palm. Many turned to look at him, but Rhys pressed on, ignoring his outburst.

“That’s when Eris returned, and told us.” There was a harsh moment of silence, and Azriels anxiety grew to a tipping point.

“She’s being held captive by my father and brothers.” Eris finished for him.

The room exploded into darkness.

Azriel couldn’t breathe, it felt like his breath was being sucked out of his chest. His ears were ringing, and he could have sworn there was blood on his hands. Whose blood was that? Was it his? When had he ended up on the ground?

Azriel!

His shadows receded back into him, only a little. He shook his head clear of that voice. He could only hear Ophelias. Could only hear her laugh, see her smile, see her.

Azriel!

Another voice. Female this time, he knew that voice. It had shown him kindness and compassion. Tried to look beneath all the scars. Just like Ophelia tried.

Black and red was all he saw.

Suddenly, someone was behind him, gripping him so hard from behind he could have sworn one of his ribs cracked.

His shadows finally dissipated and he was staring down at the wreckage that was Eris. The males face was beaten so badly he was hardly recognizable. Had he done that? He looked down at his hands, knuckles busted open. Hands coated in blood, a mix between his own and Eris’s.

He had definitely done that.

People were shouting at him, shouting at each other. But he couldn’t hear them, couldn’t see them. All he saw was Ophelia sitting on the counter, smiling at him. He had lost her before he even had her. Now, she was a captive. In the cauldron cursed Autumn Court.

The world suddenly snapped back into focus is a dizzying rush. He spun towards Rhys, teeth bared, pushing who he now realized as Cassian, off of him.

“You sent my mate to die!”

Silence.

Utter silence.

Feyre was the first one to speak. “Your mate is alive, Azriel.” Her tone was calm and steady, how he figured she would have talked to a wild animal who was cornered and scared. “You would have felt…” She trailed off, glancing at Rhysand. “You would have felt it.”

Azriel snarled again, turning on his heel.

“Where do you think you are going?” This voice was not Rhysand, his brother. This was the voice of his High Lord.

“Getting her back.”

“I cannot let you do that, shadowsinger.” Power rumbled throughout the room, the entire house.

A dark, humorless laugh came from Azriel. “You tore half of Prythian apart for your mate.” His voice was as cold as the steel of a blade. “I will do worse for mine.”

✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖°

A cold splash of water woke Ophelia up. Gasping, she looked around wildly and found the sneering face of Beron staring down at her, eyes alight with barely leashed rage. She now knew why he was called Lord of Fire. It was evident in those deep-set brown eyes.

Great, she was already starting to go insane.

“Sleep well?” He chuckled, taking a few steps back from her. She didn’t know why, it wasn’t like she could reach him with her arms chained above her head.

“Go fuck yourself.” She spat, spittle flying from her chapped lips.

“So much fire in you, even after we’ve put most of it out.” Beron hummed. “Be good and listen, and maybe my sons won’t visit you tonight.”

Ophelia shut her mouth, biting down on her tongue so hard it drew blood. She didn’t think she could stand another visit from his twisted sons. That would be her final breaking point.

Her fae healing could only do so much to the burn scars around her wrists and ankles.

“Very good. Now,” He cleared his throat. “There once was a little flame princess, who stole the heart of her entire kingdom. She was the youngest of the king's children, having several elder brothers. And when her powers started developing, there was something different about them. They were too bright, burned too hot. So the king went to the queen, asking how this could happen? How could his daughter have the power of light when they were fire?” He took a deep breath, his eyes scanning her face.

“That’s when the king learned that the little flame princess was instead, a little sun princess. That his queen had tricked him into raising not one but two bastard children, right under his nose.”

“So your wife fucked another male, what does this have to do with me?” Ophelia muttered.

Beron inched towards her, a sick and twisted smile spread across his face, unnerving her. “Everything.”

She laughed. Yeah, Ophelia was definitely going crazy.

“The king was torn on what to do. See, he had come to love his little sun princess. But her blood was not his. So, he locked her in a tower, high away from everyone. Determined to keep her safe and secure. He would send his true children in to keep her company from time to time, but soon the king learned that they had scared his beautiful sun princess. She was ugly, littered with hideous scars that no magic would heal or hide.”

Ophelia felt like she was going to be sick. She tried to squeeze her eyes shut to stop the room from spinning but images flashed behind her eyelids. Images that were too bright and vivid to just be her imagination.

“To end her suffering, the king finally set the little princess free. He let her roam his kingdom for a bit before setting his hounds out. But alas, she has been spirited away to the kingdom of his enemies, a dark and nightmarish kingdom.”

“Stop.” Ophelia wheezed.

“And just when the king was almost done healing from his pain, he found her on the outskirts of his kingdom. A spy.”

The hot hands of the Autumn Court Lord wrapped around her throat, cutting off her airway. Heat danced at his finger tips, searing her skin, charring her pale flesh.

“A spying whore for the Court of Nightmares.”

His hand curled tighter around her throat, and she was sure he was going to break her neck.

“You’re insane.” Ophelia gasped, eyes meeting his. They burned with such hatred that she was sure this was it. He would bring her death.

“Little princess, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

With his free hand, he reached toward his jewel encrusted belt. He pulled on the hilt of a dagger, which had the pattern and swirls of the Autumn Court sigil on the gleaming blade. A blade made of ashwood.

Without even blinking, he plunged the dagger into her side, to the hilt. Pain exploded from the area, her vision going out momentarily. Her instincts kicked in, trying to overwrite the pain by blocking it out. But it was too much, too overwhelming.

Ophelia screamed, her voice going hoarse as she thrashed against the pain, and against his hold on her throat. Her body went into survival mode, bucking and kicking the best she could to get away, to get away from the pain.

“You will die here, just as you were born here.” Beron snarled, finally releasing her throat.

Gasping and sputtering, she tried to reach for the dagger with her bound hands. But she couldn’t reach it. Blood poured freely from her wound, coating the floor. A sliver of thought returned to her and she glared up at Beron, her entire body twitching.

“I…” Blood bubbled out of her mouth and dribbled down her chin. “Will fucking kill you.”

The last thing Ophelia heard was the sound of laughter as Beron left her cell, the sound echoing in the darkness.

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fuckingstrange · 3 months

Text

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Speaking up

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WARNINGS: ANGST, Overwhelmed Spencer, Upset Spencer, Comforting Reader, BAU!Reader, Anxious habits (Biting lip/inner cheek), Mental Breakdown, Dissociation, Emotional Disconnection, non-beta read

WORDS: 1,200+

PAIRING: S.R. x m!reader

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You stand in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as you watch Spencer take a seat on the couch. He's been quiet, actually more than quiet, he's been silent. Not a peep coming from the usually ranting man. His brain just works so much that he can't help but let those thoughts spill, to share all the little information he knows on things whenever he gets a chance. You know that when he doesn't and he harbors all his thoughts, his mind wants to think deeper on them, but the poor guy can only think about so many things at once before he gets overwhelmed.

And he's definitely overwhelmed right now. Has been ever since he went quiet. It's all visibly written in the way he can't stop chewing his lip or inner cheek. Hell, you're surprised he hasn't chewed a hole in his face with how rough he is when doing it. But whenever you try to get him to ease up, your words go right over his head.

Sometimes he listens. If you push him enough then he'll eventually ease up enough. But over the two, almost three months this has been going on, you've noticed a few things. Like how distant his gaze is. Even when you think he could be looking at you, it feels like he's really just looking in your general direction with how empty his eyes seem. He's emotionally disconnected, having gone through about three of Strauss’ grueling lectures, a couple times even Gideon lectured him on not being emotional when talking to a victim. Though Gideon always went back and apologized, a genuine apology, Spencer still felt like shit afterwards. Spencer could never handle when Derek and Elle ganged up on him on the wrong day, He'd always have to turn his head the other way to weep silently while you told them to shut up. Though the tears were always gone by the time you got back to him, the only thing left to show you his pain being the light red marks on his pale cheeks and the fact that his eyes would still have a few tears trapped in, each time almost looking like they're begging to escape.

You're brought out of your thoughts when you notice Spencer getting up from the couch, watching him wander off to the bathroom. You hear the door shut and lock, a few minutes later hearing it unlock and open. You expected him to just head to bed considering it's two in the morning, but instead end up watching with a bit of suprise as he makes his way over to you.

You notice immediately that something is wrong. The way his breathing seems to be a bit labored, the way he seems to actually be looking at you, and not to mention the worried look in those saddened, not so distant eyes. You may be new to profiling, but you can read Spencer pretty well. You open up your arms and pull him in, feeling his arms wrap around your waist and his head rest on your shoulder right after. You take a glance down at him, watching to see what happens. You see that he seems to be struggling to stay disconnected, the light tremble of his body telling you that he's scared about the storm of pain awaiting.

You give him a gentle squeeze, knowing you can't really make him face it, but knowing you can at least be there for him. It's a few minutes of back and forth, his gaze seeming to distant about a thousand yards as his body relaxes. He finds comfort in being disconnected, and you can't really blame him for it considering how panicked he seems to be whenever he isn't.

After those few minutes of his mind fighting itself, you see tears begin to well in Spencer’s eyes. He leans up to start brushing them away before they can touch his pale-skinned cheeks, though a few manage to slip down anyways. You move your hands down to his waist, slowly pulling him closer. The closeness seems to be his breaking point. A sob rips from his throat as he mumbles “It hurts. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.” Your eyes widen with shock, feeling and seeing the way he starts to crumble in your arms.

You reach up to pull his hands away from his face, telling him “I know. I know it hurts." And after a minute of watching him let out strained sobs, adding "Let it hurt- If you let it hurt, then you can get over it and feel better.” He hears your advice and seems to cry harder at it, eyes screwing shut, head starting to pound as he sobs and sobs and sobs some more. Harsh cries rip from his throat, effectively tearing up his throat and roughing up his voice. You pull him even closer, wanting him to feel you with him in this moment of what looks to be pure agony.

Spencer’s head tips back a bit, giving you clear view of the pain and fear etched deep in his expression. Your arms wrap around his waist as gentle shushing noises spill from your lips, almost on instinct. You press your lips to his forehead for a few seconds in hopes of reminding him that he's not alone. “Keep crying, baby. Let it out. Don't hold it back, you'll feel so much better after this, I promise.” You say in the most gentle, caring voice you can manage. You feel like you're gonna cry from just seeing how much pain he's in.

His hands move to brush at his shirt, trying to get the sweat that's formed on his palms off. “I don't- I- I don't understand.. it hurts.. I'm sorry..” He says between cries, sounding like an upset little boy at this point. The way he tells you he doesn't understand only means one thing, He doesn't understand why he hurts so much. But you do. And, god, does it fucking tug at your heart like no other.

Your hand moves to his cheek, thumb gently brushing along his eyebag, wiping away a few tears that were rolling down it. The swipe causes Spencer to open his eyes, looking up at you through those brown doe eyes full of tears and misery. “I know you don't.. and you don't need to, Spencer. Not just yet, you need to let yourself feel this." You encourage, wanting to keep him away from the idea that being so emotionally disconnected isn't good if it ends like this.

Spencer whimpers, resting his head on your chest as tears flow freely down his cheeks, hands clutching at the sides of your shirt. Harsh cries continue to rip from his throat, so much pain having built up over the two months. You rub his back, your voice cracking a bit as you continue your gentle shushing.

It's another ten minutes of listening to his pained cries and sobs before they start to die down into softer cries and whimpers from the lingering pain in his shattered heart. He moves his head so that it's on your shoulder now, hand moving to rest on your chest, subconsciously wanting to feel the steady thum of your heart while his continues to get stomped on and crushed brutally by all the pain in his poor mind, hopefully not etched too deep in his sweet soul.

You slowly move your hand up to rest over his, your other hand brushes up and down his side, a few more gentle shushing noises being made in hopes of helping him ease out of the agony and into recovery. A few whimpers occasionally slip from Spencer's lips, the pain still lingering a bit in his sweet heart. But, it'll go away over time.

You notice how exhausted he is now, having cried so hard and so much that he's drained. You look over to the clock to see it's about two-fourty in the morning, meaning he spent almost an hour in hell. You start slowly guiding his body to sway side to side with yours, hearing him yawn after only a minute of the motion. “You made it, sweetheart. Rest up now. I'll be right here.” You whisper in his ear, hearing him let out another soft whimper before completely shutting his eyes with the goal of getting some sleep.

You decide to stand there, swaying Spencer side to side even after he goes to sleep, just wanting to hold your poor boy after such an event. Like the good boyfriend you promised to be all those years ago when you first started dating Spencer, you stay. you watch over him. you make sure he stays safe. You promised, so you did.

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NOTES -

I'M AT 7 DAMN PERCENT MY GOD

Haven't written in a damn minute tho so..

#spencer reid #love me some sopping wet angst #frfr #I'VE USED THAT TAG BEFORE??#Maybe not me.#not sure #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x m!reader #x male reader #cm x reader #hotboxed fanfiction

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sideprince · 4 months

Note

I’d love to hear your answer to #2, #16, and #18 of the Snape asks! :)

2. How old were you when you decided you loved this unwashed man? What’s the story, child?

I was in high school and Going Through It. I was really ready to get out of my parents' house and be an adult, and I was dealing with a lot of tough things and basically ready for a new escapist hyperfixation (though I probably wouldn't have put it like that at the time). I found him intriguingly complex and the main reason I kept reading the books was to find out more about him - what his story was, why he was doing what he was doing, etc. I didn't doubt his motivations were ultimately in service of defeating Voldemort (because I know how to read and can spot basic literary elements like foreshadowing and characters who are foils), but it was clear there was a lot to this guy. I think there must also have been a kind of loneliness and ambitious determination in how he was written that I identified with. He was absorbing enough to be a good distraction from my life and I really needed it at the time. Still do sometimes.

16. What do you headcanon about his relationship with his parents?

I don't think his relationship with his dad was great (thank you, thank you, you can put my Understatement of the Year Award in the mail). When Snape was a very small child, he probably wanted his dad's approval and didn't understand what he kept doing wrong when his dad lashed out and grew increasingly abusive. Back then the abuse was probably more comprised of a lack of attention, shouting, and maybe a smack or two. As he got older I imagine he started feeling that need for attention and approval less and less, or rather, that it got more murky under layers of resentment and fear and pain and anger. The taller he got (ie. less physically vulnerable) and the more distance he got what with being gone most of the year, and the more his sarcastic, snarky personality came out, (and the more confident he got with his magical skills that his dad couldn't touch or take away from him), the more he must have talked back to his dad and challenged him. Rowling has said something about his dad having whipped him with a belt, and I can imagine that being a way for his dad to assert himself against a son who had skills he himself never would, and who hated him. We see this attitude in the Dursleys as well, thinking they could abuse the magic out of Harry. So yeah, I can see Snape's dad going at him with a belt, shouting about "where's your precious magic now, boy?" I can also see Snape's magic - like most underage wizards' - getting away from him in a moment like that and throwing his dad off or undermining him in some way that made it impossible for him to continue in that moment and probably unwilling to try again.

He probably had a better relationship with his mom, or at least a more complex one. They had magic in common, and must have been somewhat close at some point because I don't know who else would have told him so many details about Hogwarts when he was a kid. The amount he knew about the school - and the magical world in general - indicates that she talked about it with him at length and probably on a number of occasions. As he got older and his relationship with his dad got worse, his mom was probably in the middle, not wanting to compromise her relationship with either of them. If Snape was like any other angsty teen, then at that age he probably would have lashed out at her and resented her for letting his dad treat both of them the way he did. There was probably rough period for them where his teenage need to push his parents away coincided with the natural distance that would grow between a parent and a child who spent 10 months of the year away at boarding school. When he got older, though, he probably would have had more sympathy and started to understand that she knew his dad as a very different person than he did and had her own relationship with him. It's also possible that as his intellect continued to blossom despite everything else he had to deal with at school, it changed his relationship with his mom. The dynamic was no longer that she was a source of knowledge for him, but that he knew and understood more than she ever had and maybe he looked down on her, or at least pitied her, for what he might have seen as her limitations.

18. What’s an aspect of his character you wish more people would explore?

He isn't just intelligent, he's an incredibly good judge of character. If you set aside his skewed impression of Harry, he's someone who understands profoundly well what makes people tick and how they think. He's a great spy because he understands how Voldemort thinks and operates, as well as all the Death Eaters around him. It makes sense - someone who's a great occlumens would, through that kind of insight, learn how to put himself in someone else's shoes without having to read their thoughts. When he talks to Harry about what legilimency is, that the mind is not a book to be read at leisure, he reveals a complex and nuanced understanding of the way you have to be able to interpret and understand someone's thoughts. What he's really saying is that it isn't enough to see what someone is thinking, you have to be able to understand its context and what that thought means to that person if you have a good sense of them. This requires incredible intelligence, empathy, and judgment of character.

I think it's also why he speaks so tersely and reveals so little about himself, except for the occasional feral moment when he's triggered and unable to maintain that control. It's not just because he doesn't want to compromise himself by speaking too much, or that he knows the more verbose he is the more he gives away about himself. He thinks more than he speaks and so he speaks very little because he's busy listening to others and to his own brain whirring away at a thousand miles a minute.

(This is also why I get a bit tired of the take that Snape is a Feral Man and that Alan Rickman's portrayal has nothing to do with Book!Snape. It's an integral part of his character that he observes much more than he speaks, and most of the time he's described in the books as someone whose behavior is controlled. His expression is consistently described as "unreadable" "unfathomable" etc. The angrier he gets, the more quiet his voice gets - as you know, given your absolutely brilliant amazing Snape Speaks post!

He's feral only when he's triggered, and we only see him act that way in rare and vulnerable moments, and those moments are compelling exactly because this isn't his usual self, but rather his primal, unchecked self. He's portrayed as a person who put a lot of effort into controlling and overcoming that primal self and would fall apart if it was his constant state of being. There's an inseparable link between the guilt that drives him and his need to control his emotions. The whole Feral Man take ignores exactly the aspect of his character that I love so much, that he observes more than he acts, and is a great judge of character. And I think there's a lot to interpret in how his eyes are described more often than any other character's, except maybe Harry -- again, because he uses his eyes more than his body or his voice.)

#asks #said-snape-softly

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isalisewrites · 2 months

Text

A ramble on writing every day in February

Another month has gone by now. I have written every day in January and every in February, which is 60 consecutive days in a row where I have written 700 words or more every day.

It's been a shitty February.

I had to have some mild surgery that put me under anesthesia for the first time. I reacted to it for weeks, but thankfully that's subsided. Unfortunately, the stress was too much and I had to drop two of my three college classes. I did this because it's highly likely that I'll have to have further surgery this year.

Somehow, I still managed to stick with my goal.

Your girl purposely woke up an hour earlier, at 4am, to reach her goal before the surgery. Neither surgery or a later ER visit could stop this determined bitch from writing. (Just the anesthesia reaction)

It has been an immovable requirement in my day, even when I'm rushing at 11:58pm to hurry and get 700 words down before Scrivener resets for the day at 12:00am. Even now, it's almost 9pm my time and I haven't written my 700 words for the day.

Rest assured, it will be done.

I did not reach the same height of success as I did last month. I didn't knock it out of the park, but I still did pretty damn good and I'm proud of the word count that I reached this month.

There's something invigorating about sticking to the goal of writing everyday. Even though it's been so much harder, even though some days my brain is mush from the physical issues I'm dealing with, I am so glad that I've kept going. It's been a VERY difficult month - both physically and mentally.

I'm so glad I haven't given up on this.

Everything else can fall around me, but writing is my anchor and my sanity. Again, I can say with perfect confidence that choosing to write every day no matter what has been the best thing that I could for my mental health.

You can see how there were so many days where hitting my bare minimum was all I could do - and that was good enough. The bare minimum is 700 words a day or 20,300 words for February. I reached 31,000 words.

Not bad at all.

I had not one, but TWO unruly chapters this month, where I had to split them into two because of how long they were getting. Arc Two had been 27 chapters in total, but it's now 29 chapters. Out of all the Arcs, I had not anticipated it would Arc Two that would get bigger. This tells me that my rough estimate for Arc Three, Four, and Five is probably very wrong.

But I managed to complete four more chapters. They're in my 'pre-edit' stage, which means they're unrefined and need a good comprehensive edit. Usually, when I go through my comprehensive edit, I add 1,000 to 2,000 words to the chapter. It's a vital part of my writing process and cannot be skipped.

This is how determined I am. This is how much I'm tracking everything. This graph here shows the magnitude of my commitment to this story.

There were more hard days than easy days this last month, unfortunately. So many days, it felt like my mind was swimming in molasses. But I still wrote, even if I didn't always like what had been written. It's good enough. Something is better than nothing. Living each day doing what is my soul's greatest joy and desire makes life bearable.

Until next month.

#mywriting #fanfic writer #fanfiction writer #writing #tomarry #hp #hp fanfic #harry potter #tom riddle #fanfiction #fanfic #2024 writing goal update #terrible but great #writer #2024 writing goals #isa's ramblings #isa's writing

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whereianonymouslypostfics · 10 months

Text

Anniversary

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader

Word count: ~2.4k

Summary: You spend a special day with Wanda

Warnings: angst, mentions of death, and hurt/comfort

A/N: @aliherreraaa, here's the angsty first time we see Wanda cry. Enjoy.

Sometimes you hated the fact that you knew so little about Wanda. You’ve been dating for 3 months which honestly wasn’t that long, and given how sporadically you saw her sometimes she felt like a stranger. When you were with her though, it was easy to forget about this because you got along so well. You figure it’s not the same as knowing someone, and especially during times like now, you wish you’d talked about deeper things than your favorite movie or vacation spot.

Maybe it was too early for anything else. You were relatively new to relationships and didn’t really know what was normal. That said, your time with Wanda was enough to realize what wasn’t normal for a relationship. Being ghosted isn’t normal, and despite accepting it to a point because of Wanda’s work, this was getting ridiculous. After having plans 3 days ago and getting no response from your girlfriend after she stood you up, you were irritated to say the least. You had sent her far too many texts that had gone unanswered, and an equally frustrating number of calls that had also failed to get Wanda’s attention.

You’d had a rough week without this happening, so you couldn’t just ignore the frustration that Wanda had caused. You practically stomp up the driveway after jumping over the gate once you’d realized you couldn’t get through. You brush the dirt and grass off of your clothes as you huff on annoyance. You’ve only been here once, but Wanda had told you how to sneak in. You hadn’t thought too deeply into it at the time because you were excited to finally be seeing where Wanda lived, but now you just find it annoying. Why was she so secretive and non-communicative? You could handle one with good reason, but not both.

As you literally storm her giant house, you consider what you’ll say to her. She’d missed a simple date and that was annoying, but what really bothered you was the nagging feeling that something was wrong. Wanda had never indicated that she wasn’t interested in you. In fact, she’d done the opposite many times, so you were frustrated and insecure to say the least. These feelings, as well as your anxiety that grew with each day that Wanda didn’t respond, were the impetus to come track her down.

You sneak in through the door that Wanda told you didn’t lock, and you end up in the basement near the stairwell that leads up to the rooms that she, her friends, and brother occupied. You try not to think about running into them as you take the stairs two at a time while glancing at your phone and they many, many unanswered messages. Seeing nothing new you scowl before pausing as you reach the top floor. You still don’t know what you’re going to say to your girlfriend, but opening the door that led out to the floor you’d only been on once shakes your confidence a little. You’re glad the hall is empty and you go straight for Wanda’s door and take a deep breath as you raise your hand to knock.

You don’t speak because you’re not sure who’s nearby and you don’t want to attract any unwanted attention. No response nearly ten seconds later makes your anger flare again and you knock once more. This time you knock louder and for longer until you’re almost ready to give up.

You sigh heavily and start to turn and leave when you hear the door fly open and suddenly Wanda’s standing in front of you. She looks pissed and you quickly notice that her eyes are red and she doesn’t look like she’s slept in a while. You suddenly feel very uncomfortable and out of line as Wanda’s eyes widen in surprise at the sight of you.

Wanda had spent the last 5 days in her room, and up until yesterday her brother had been knocking multiple times a day, everyday. She’d thought he’d quit but hearing the incessant knocking from her bedroom told her otherwise. She’d been unable to get out of bed for most of the time she’d been locked in here. The increasing anxiety and depression she’d felt these past few days had kept her from doing anything other than sleeping or staring off into space while reruns of her favorite sitcom played on mute in the background.

Nothing could have prepared her for this, and she’d feel bad about ignoring everyone, especially you and her brother, but she didn’t have enough energy to spare. Her brother was suffering too and she was being selfish this year and keeping to herself. He’d tried to talk some sense into her, but she wouldn’t listen. She’d figured that since Pietro didn’t come by yesterday, he must have given up. Hearing him knock today made her feel something other than sadness, and she’d hopped out of bed and stormed to the door to give him a piece of her mind.

Seeing you on the other side of the door made her stop and stare in shock. She quickly realized that she’d missed a date with you, but she doesn’t think about this now as she watches your irritation lessen slightly. She briefly wonders how mad you must be to have come all this way just to yell at her. Her anxiety starts to creep up again as she considers why you’re here and she begins to wring her hands nervously.

“Y/n, what are you doing here?”

You ignore her question as your scowl disappears and your expression changes from anger to concern. You realize that Wanda’s been crying and this makes your anger dissipate as you consider the possibilities. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Wanda upset, and it's throwing you into protective mode.

“What’s wrong, Wanda? Are you okay?”

You want to ask more, but you can tell that Wanda’s a little overwhelmed by whatever is going on as well as your presence, and you don’t want to push her over the edge. You watch and wait as Wanda just stares at you before her brain reminds her of why she’d isolated herself in the first place. She fights back the tears she feels burning her already raw and tired eyes as she shakes her head. She can’t lie to you and she doesn’t want to, so she opens the door further and takes a deep breath.

“Do you want to come in?”

Completely ignoring your question was answer enough for now, and despite your frown returning, you nod before following her into the room. It’s dark and quiet in here, and as soon as the door shuts behind you it’s near pitch black. Wanda wants nothing more than to crawl back into bed, but now that you’re here she hesitates. She casts her bedroom a longing look before moving to sit on the couch in the living room. You stand near the front door just watching as she switches on a lamp and makes it easier for you to see how exhausted she looks. You have a feeling that she’s just been holed up in her room since you were supposed to see her. You just don’t know why.

“Sorry I missed our date."

Wanda’s voice is flat and emotionless when she says this, making you think she feels an obligation to apologize more than she actually regrets not seeing you. You don’t bother addressing this now as you walk toward her slowly. She doesn’t seem to really notice as she sits back and takes in a shaky breath. You take the chance to sit down beside her, and when she doesn’t react you take this as a good sign.

“I’m more worried about you, Wands. What’s going on?”

Wanda doesn’t respond immediately but her eyes squeeze shut as she considers your question for only a second. For the last five days she’s been agonizing over the past and wondering how different her life would be if she hadn’t inherited the criminal empire she controlled today.

“My parents died tomorrow.”

The sentence confuses you initially until you remember that Wanda had inherited her family business. The anniversary of their death must be tomorrow, and this realization suddenly makes you feel like an asshole. Wanda hadn’t been ignoring you like you’d thought. She’d be ignoring everyone as she grieved her parents. You suddenly feel a strong urge to pull her into a hug, but you don’t think that will be well received.

Despite letting you in here, she hadn’t so much as touched you since you arrived so you’re not going to risk overwhelming her further. Instead you tell her what you’d want to hear if you were in her place. You shift on the couch so you’re facing her, and you fidget as you consider reaching out for her hand.

“I’m sorry. I know that can’t be easy.”

Wanda has tears rolling down her cheeks only moments after you say this, and you immediately feel guilty. You ignore your fear of being thrown out, and you take Wanda’s hand in yours and squeeze it to reassure her the she’s not alone. Your girlfriend finally opens her eyes and as expected they're red and watery from crying. She squeezes your hand as she takes a shaky breath before she looks at you sadly.

“It hurts. I miss them so much.”

Your heart stutters at her words. You hate that she has to go through this, and you hate that she’s chosen to be alone as well. You move closer and wrap and arm around her shoulders as you hold her close. You’re surprised when Wanda starts to cry harder as she turns so her face is in your shoulder, but you don’t hesitate to hug her tightly. You hear her continue to sniffle even once her sobs die down after what feels like a century. You’re rubbing her back soothingly as you wait for your girlfriend to tell you what she wants. She’s probably exhausted from the past few days, and you’re considering leading her to bed when she finally begins to shift. She lets out a tired whimper before she pulls just far enough away to meet your gaze with an apologetic one.

“I really am sorry. For ignoring you.”

Wanda didn’t even realize that you’d reached out, but in the past few minutes she concluded that it was the only explanation for why you’d be here. She went dark sometimes, but this time she’d missed a date and upset you. Before she can feel guilty about this for too long, you shake your head with a sigh that expels both tension and any remaining anger you had in your body. You want to help Wanda feel better through this horrible experience, and you offer yourself up in hopes that she’ll ask for assistance.

“I’m more worried about you. Is there something I can do to help you feel better?”

Wanda bites her lip at the thought of what she wants to ask you. She’d wanted it before she even invited you in, but she’d been worried for several reasons. For one she thought you’d be angry with her for ghosting you, and she’d expected you to shout at her or at the very least tell her off. The next and likely more important fear was that you wouldn’t want to stick around because she certainly wouldn’t be good company. She wasn’t feeling well and she’s not sure what she’d manage to do with you here.

As if sensing her conflict, you offer her a smile and squeeze her arm gently to get her attention. Once she’s looking at you, you lean in to kiss her forehead before resting your own against it with a sigh.

“Whatever you need, Wands. I’m here, okay?”

Wanda swallows the lump in her throat before she reaches out to play with your hair. The sincerity she hears in your voice is enough for her to find the courage to ask you to stay.

When you just smile and nod in agreement, Wanda feels her mood brighten and a faint smile tug at her lips. She kisses you in thanks before she turns away from you and leans back against you. Understanding what Wanda’s asking for, you spread you legs so she can sit between them before reaching out to wrap your arms around her waist. You pull her close and kiss her cheek as she relaxes against you and breathes a sigh of relief. She focuses on your presence and lets the thoughts of her parents fade into the background.

At this point she’s realized that she’ll always miss them. No matter how many people she surrounded herself with, she’d never find anyone to replace them. She didn’t want that, but she did want to find a way to move on while still respecting their memories. She knows her mom would want her to be happy, and she’s certain the older Maximoff would have loved you. You’re caring, funny, and you make her happy. Her mother wouldn’t want anything else for her.

Her father may have been more concerned with work than her mother, but Wanda liked to think he’d support her relationship with you. If he was around she wouldn’t be in charge, and maybe she’d have more freedom. He would have given you a hard time, but hopefully he’d come around eventually.

She’ll never know what her parents would think of her life right now. Despite wondering all of these things she knows it’s all speculation that merely serves as a coping mechanism. She’s fine with this for now, but after tomorrow’s passed she’s going to figure out how to step out on her own, out of her parents’ shadows.

Wanda turns her head so she can listen to your heartbeat as you both relax and feel content for the first time in days. Wanda’s grateful for your presence here with her, and in her life as a whole. You’re comforting and kind and she wants to find a way to let you into her life. By the time you leave two days later, Wanda decides that you’re unlike anyone she’s ever met. You’re special and she’s determined to hold onto you for as long as you’ll let her.

Masterlist

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