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sunshine-jesse · 6 months

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Control: The Strange Dynamics of Andy and Leyley or

The Incest End Is Not The Fucking Bad End, Stop Coping

EDIT:

Hey guys! This post is blowing the fuck up, but this was my first essay on this game, and I think I've had many more insightful things to say since then. Here's a link to a masterpost with all of my essays, which I'd definitely suggest reading after this one:

Anyways, without further adieu...

I heard a lot about this game going in. I knew the general story beats and the funny haha incest memes. I knew it was about a toxic codependent relationship where Ashley, the sister, acted like your standard overly-controlling person who used various abuse techniques to keep someone in line. I expected Ashley to be a yandere-type character where she was borderline psychotic, irrational, and had a skewed perception of reality. I expected her to be a crazy bitch, and I love me some crazy bitches.

But then I actually played through the game. ...That is not what I got.

The game advertises Andrew as a doormat extraordinaire who is strung along by his Very Not Good sister and has no agency of his own' that he's just a henpecked abuse victim. But in practice, that doesn't seem to be the case. One of their first exchanges that in the story is when the occultist played his music and Ashley wanted them to check it out. He says 'no', sure, but then he smirks and says 'but I'll come along if you do.'

That is not the dialogue of someone who has no will of their own, that's the dialogue of someone who willingly gives up their own agency.

This is not, on its own, a sign of anything out of the ordinary. What caught my attention with it, though, is how it flew in the face of the common narrative surrounding their relationship dynamic. But that's not the first time I noticed it, it's just the first time, in retrospect, that their actual dynamic begins to show. The first time I personally noticed it is in the choking scene.

There are a lot of ways to view this situation. But my own reading? This was not a crime of passion. This was not him trying to break free. This is him doing something he's thought about for a while. This is premeditated. In this scene, Andrew is done playing along with Ashley's shit. In this scene, I firmly believe Ashley is the victim.

Ashley is the more openly abusive of the two who seeks to do whatever she can to trap Andrew so he'll never leave her. That much is clear. But Andrew-

-clearly has these same tendencies. He says this shortly after Ashley mentions putting her name up on a call girl's wall for money. There's protective brotherly instincts, and then there's this. This is not something you'd threaten a sister with, this is something that a man would threaten his wife with, which is directly brought attention to in the story.

(hey look he accepts the framing of it being WIFE beating at face value, and says Ashley is the only one who makes him like that! HMMMMMMMMMM WONDER WHAT THAT IMPLIES???)

It also implies that this is not the first time physical force has been threatened! I mean, that much is obvious, because of the choking scene that happened before, but I more mean that this implies that Andrew either threatening or utilizing physical force is an established pattern of behavior. However, the Decay route implies that she never thought Andy would kill her (but Andrew would) which can either be for or against depending on one's perspective, so I don't hold to the idea that it's an established pattern too strongly.

Okay, so. Andrew has some controlling and possessive tendencies too. So what? Their relationship is codependent. It's advertised as such. What of it?

Well first of all, it pretty much blows the lid off of the idea that Ashley is the sole perpetrator of abuse in their relationship. I've seen a lot of people view Andrew's behavior as justified retaliation against abuse, but frankly, I don't believe that him threatening to strangle Ashley for violating boundaries by trying to hold him accountable for his actions (given the strangulation part happens after she brought up Nina's death and how Andrew was ultimately responsible) is justified. And I ESPECIALLY don't believe that him threatening to backhand Ashley for her transactional attitude towards sex is justified in ANY circumstance.

EDIT: This part was edited in from the original post for the sake of readability so they don't have to see the reblogs to see the updated version! This post gained more traction than I was expecting!

…But perhaps even more telling is what she DOESN'T do.

Pushing someone's boundaries until they lash out is a pretty common tactic in abusive relationships. It's easy to see why, too: It justifies prior behavior and paints them in a negative light to others. This can be an important aspect of using DARVO (deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender) against someone, although the two ideas aren't necessarily linked.

It's pretty easy to argue that this is what Ashley does, but if you look at the one time her boundary pushing DID go too far, when Andrew lashes out with physical violence… she doesn't do that. She doesn't blame him. She doesn't paint herself as the victim. She doesn't even try to give a reason as to why she shouldn't be killed outside of the comfort she gives him. Why is this notable?

Because the mom does, in fact, engage in what could be considered DARVO against Ashley:

(i will elaborate more on this screenshot in particular below)

Ashley is directly compared to Mrs. Graves by Andrew, and yet she crucially displays none of the habits that Mrs. Graves does. Mrs. Graves lays the blame on Ashley, but Ashley doesn't lay the blame on Andrew. Mrs. Graves tends to paint herself as the victim of Ashley, but Ashley does no such thing to Andrew. The mom denies her culpability at every turn; Ashley doesn't. Ashley tries to hold Andrew accountable for his role in Nina's death, which could be considered a kind of DARVO. But she never denies that she had a role to play in it. She just mentions that he was the one who pulled the trigger. And he was.

(and the point was more that she DIDN'T engage in it when threatened with physical violence; the perfect chance to)

In Mrs. Graves' mind, she is the victim of either Ashley, or society as a whole. In Ashley's mind, she knows what she is, what she does, and what she's about. The only thing she's oblivious to- or doesn't acknowledge, at least- is the threat Andrew poses to her. In her mind, she's the bad guy. In Andrew's mind, Ashley is the bad guy. In official art, she is the bad guy:

And yet, in the game itself, Andrew is the one holding the cleaver. Not her. Hm.

Ashley is the world's most convenient scapegoat. She allows people to mask their own worst habits and pretend they're better people than they are. She accepts this role. She embraces it. She doesn't try to deny it. But when that mask slips, people lash out at her. Both Mrs. Graves and Andy (NOT Andrew, crucially) predicate much of their self-perception on being what she's not.

But they're the ones who enabled her to become like this, every step of the way.

And that's what blew my fucking mind, and made me question just who the victim really is. She was never given a chance to be normal, because other people relied on her NOT being normal.

By the end of my second playthrough, I felt worse for Ashley than I did for Andrew, and I still do.

So. What am I getting at? What does this show me about the relationship between Ashley and Andrew?

(I also wanted to point out that Andrew does engage in DARVO too but I didn't want to distract from the behavior of the mother. Unlike what Andrew does, it doesn't require someone to reassess the narrative they have towards the game in order to realize the implications of it, whereas it's pretty easy to justify Andrew's words as not qualifying as DARVO if you buy into the narrative that he's the sole victim and/or that Ashley is the main perpetrator of abuse. A friend of mine pointed out that it's a pretty key part of the push/pull dynamic they have, and I completely agree.

However, the direct comparisons to the behavior of the mother can't be ignored no matter your narrative, so I felt as if I needed to highlight that more.)

EDIT OVER

It shows me that their relationship is all about control.

Specifically, the push and pull of who controls who in any given situation.

Andrew weaponizes his incompetence. He always looks to lay the blame on Ashley. This is drawn attention to several times, and said explicitly in the Decay route.

He is always surrendering control to her, and yet he never HAS to. He could always just say no. He could always refuse. What are the consequences? Her being upset? Well, unfortunately, it's not that easy. That's not how abuse dynamics work. He probably feels like he has to, or rather, feels like there's no other option. That he's in too deep, and stuck with her no matter what. But personally, I think it's pretty clear from his willingness to surrender control to Ashley that he still feels like he has it at points, because the moment he feels like he's about to lose it, he either considers violence, even as a child-

(the actual scene of slicing her finger is pretty sus too with this reading in mind)

-or resorts to it, outright, in both the choking scene and the vision in the Decay ending... when Ashley doesn't have enough bullets to defend herself (this will be important later!).

SO WHAT POINT AM I TRYING TO MAKE??? AM I JUST MAKING ABUSE APOLOGIA (the answer may surprise you)?

No. I don't think so.

Ashley is obviously very bad. She's controlling and uses pretty textbook abuse and entrapment tactics on Andrew whereas everything he does to her is inference, with Ashley too daft to realize just how much danger she's in until the vision in the Decay ending spells it out for her- and I don't know if a true abuse dynamic allows for one to be completely unaware of the consequences of breaking free. She could just let go of her desire for control and Andrew would be a much happier person.

And that's the point, because so would she.

I bring up control because that push and pull- that desire for control over each other- is exactly what's tearing their relationship apart, and this effect most obviously manifests in the two endings of episode 2. In the Decay ending, Ashley either tries to exert control over Andrew due to a lack of trust, or Andrew allows his feelings of entrapment to truly take root in his mind and guide his actions. In the Decay ending, Andrew becomes a true doormat with no will of his own, allowing his feelings of bitterness and resentment to fester and grow, eventually resulting in their deaths.

In the Burial ending, Andrew does the exact opposite. He takes control of the situation and does exactly what Ashley would do without much of a fuss. This eventually culminates in THAT scene (assuming you take the Questionable route), where his facial expression alone speaks volumes:

Look at how fucking confident this man is. This is not the face of someone who's unsure of himself; this is the face of someone who knows exactly what he wants and takes it. He is absolutely in control of this situation, and everyone is happier for it.

And what does Ashley have to do to get this ending?

Let's go back to Decay for a moment. If Ashley has bullets in her gun, she has control over the situation. She, at any point, could put an end to Andrew and survive. And yet, at the very end of it all, she could choose not to. She could choose to surrender control to Andrew, allowing herself to die. And that ending, I believe so much of his life and willpower will have decayed that there's nothing left for him to take control of, leaving him no choice- or rather, no use for the control he now has- but to die with her.

And in the Burial ending, she has to let him out of his cage before it's too late. She has to surrender control to him, and when she does-

-He will become everything she ever needed him to be.

It's all about her surrendering control, and it's all about him taking control. Because, no matter what, as long as that happens... the two of them will be together forever.

In life...

...or in death.

How romantic.

So no, the incest end is not the fucking bad end. They're going to be together forever in the end either way, so they might as well live through it.

#gaming #the coffin of andy and leyley #gravecest #ashley graves #andrew graves #someone help me i can't stop thinking about this fucking game

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bangchansgirlsblog · 4 months

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Hello I love your writing so much

Could I please request for 9th member reader who didn't come from the healthiest families and she's very sensitive, keeps to herself when the boys ask her about it. However once she and chan get into an argument about her coping mechanisms and in his anger he gives her the silent treatment (for about a week?) And finally she break down in front of one of the other members, telling them about how her mother would always give her the silent treatment and she was never encouraged to express herself etc... and the boys all comfort her?

Thank you so much!!

Toxic traits.

Warning: Angst, crying, panic attack, mean Chan

Summary: as requested ^

Pairing: reader x Ot8

“Y/n?” The voice sounded like it was distant. She could barely hear but how could she? The painful ring in her ear blocked out everything around her.

“Y/n? You okay?” Hyunjin asked her again trying to get her out of her trance.

“Yeah-yeah,” her voice is caught in a crack. The hot feeling of tears starts to build up. “I’m fine, where are the rest of the boys?” She cleared her throat and put her bag down.

“They went to get some coffee, I told them I would wait here for you. Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked one last time to be certain. He could sense her vibe was off but yet again it was Y/n. She was the most mysterious yet energetic person you could come across. Oh? And she’s the youngest.

“Yes I’m fine Hyun, we should head for practice. We don’t want to keep the boys waiting,” she gave him another comforting smile before grabbing her bag once again and making their way to the JYP building.

The walk was quiet. Her thoughts were currently running haywire as she tried to peace everything together but she knew today wasn’t going to be a good day. The argument she had with her father still played in her head.

“So, what do you have in your schedules today?” Hyunjin interrupted her thoughts trying to ease the tension in the air.

“I just have dance practice with you guys then I get a break and you?”

“I have a photo shoot later after practice, kinda cliché themed.” Y/n giggle at this. Hyunjin gave himself a pat on the back for making her laugh.

“Well, I hope stay don’t make fun of you because that’ll be more memes coming out,”

“Yeah, yeah, as long as I rock the outfit no one can bring me down,” he flexed his biceps earning a gag sound from the manknae.

“Hyunjin that’s gross,” she rolled her eyes as they both entered the studio to find the boys stretching. They all said their “hello’s” and started their practice off.

“Y/n get your head in the game,” Leeknow scolded her. She had been messing up a lot today and now that they were halfway through, she hadn’t gotten anything done causing the whole group to get lost.

“I’m trying okay?” She snapped back at him. Han’s neck snapped in their direction as he looked at her in disbelief.

“Don’t snap at him like that, his older than you,” Han joined in the scolding. Y/n was tired and frustrated now. She couldn’t deal with them hopping on her back.

“Okay whatever,” she walked away from the both of them and sat on the floor by her bag trying to look for her water bottle. The boys were looking at her from a far trying to figure what was bothering her today.

“Hey Y/n?” I.N finally gave in and sat besides her to check in.

“Yes I.N?” She replied in her soft tone.

“You okay? You’ve been messing up all day-“

That was all she needed. That little push to throw her off the edge. Her eyebrows furrowed in annoyance and she stood up still facing I.N. Her anger was at a 10 and she couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“I’m fine okay?! What is wrong with all of you?! Don’t you see I’m trying?! Can’t you leave me alone for once?! Why does it seem like whatever I do is a problem-“

“Y/n. Out. Now.” Chan’s loud voice shook the room quite literally. She stormed off to stand outside by the door. Trying to keep her cool but she couldn’t.

“Don’t you see this is a waste of time? You’re a girl! You won’t survive in this industry!”

“But dad I- the boys got me. We’re making it-“

“Those boys will soon leave you just like your mum did. You’re pathetic and a waste of space. You don’t even bring anything to the table!” Her father’s voice was loud through the phone.

“Why won’t you let me to what I want for once?” She begged.

“Because! I spent my whole life working my butt off to provide for you and now look at you? You’ve basically become a stripper”

“Dad don’t say that-“

“Well it’s the truth.”

Her father’s words echoed in her ears. She felt helpless. She felt useless. She felt disgusted by herself.

“What was that?” Chan storms out the room. He was angry. It was obvious.

“Nothing-“

“What is wrong with you? What’s your problem? You’ve been so moody all day and whenever we ask you what’s wrong cause we know damn well we didn’t do anything wrong, you start acting bratty,”

“Chan I was just trying to-“

“No, I don’t want to hear it. You will go in there and apologize. Understood?”

“Chan! You never listen to me. Your always taking their side,” she snapped at him.

“I know damn well you aren’t taking to me like that. I’ve given you time and time again to come talk to me but you crush it off and decide to be a bitch to everyone. So don’t even say I don’t listen to you-“

“I’m not being a bitch, I just want to be alone,”

“Okay then be alone. Stop bringing everyone down just cause you can’t deal with you problems, you better go apologize to everyone and you can head home,” the tears in her eyes started to fall once he left.

Maybe she indeed was the problem. Maybe she needed to learn a way to cope with her feelings. Maybe she just needed to shut up.

She slowly took steps back into the studio and everyone turned to look at her.

“I’m sorry if I snapped at any of you, I won’t do it again,” her sobs were heard. They were so painful to hear that even Chan was so close to stopping her and pulling her into a hug. He felt so bad but he knew he had to stand on business.

At first Chan thought that maybe her silent treatment would last a day or two but it dragged and it continued to drag till it was the 1 week stamp.

He grew worried because he wasn’t not just talking to him but she wasn’t talking at all. She would only say hello and then continue with her day. Not even talking to managers or staff.

She would just nod or say small” thanks you’s” or “goodbyes”. It was almost like the fight he had with her shut her up completely and this was eating him up.

The stress of the VMA’s performance coming up and having to deal with his members made everything 10x harder to cope with.

“She hasn’t been eating,” Changbin informs Chan who lets out a frustrated sigh. “Should I just talk to her? Maybe that’ll fix things,”

“She’s so mad, she won’t talk to anyone. Even I.N,” this caused Han and Changbin to gasp.

“They’re like bestfriends, it’s like they were never separated at birth. What do you mean he won’t talk to her?” Han asked.

“He came to me in tears yesterday because he attempted to get her to talk but she shut him down immediately,”

“Then you’re going to have to fix this Chan. She needs you even though she hasn’t said it. Maybe it’s something deeper than your fight,”

“I know that for certain Hyunjin but how can I talk to her when she keeps avoiding me and walking away,”

“Just go to the gardens,” Felix suggested.

Chan hadn’t thought about it and quickly gave a hug to Felix who he praised for a bit and run to the gardens.

There she was. Sat feeding ducklings. She had a soft smile on her face. Her cheekbones were becoming visible because of the lack of food and the stress of the shows coming up.

“Y/n?” He said while making his way to her. She remained still and quiet. Continuing to feed the ducks.

“Can we talk please?” Silence. “Look I’m sorry. I’m getting worried and you not being able to talk to me means that there’s something deeper going on. Can you talk to me please? I’ll shut up and listen.”

“My dad,” she sat up and looked over to him. Chan in disbelief after hearing her voice after so long. “My dad wants me to go back home,”

“What? What? He can’t do that. We’re a team. We’re your family,”

“I never told you about him because of how toxic he is Chan, he won’t leave me alone until I’m home. Where he can control me.”

“But your legal and you’re on a contract-“

“He doesn’t care Chan,” she looked up at him. The tears in her eyes started to pour like rain. Chan’s eyes soften as he grabbed her and pulled her into his arms.

“I won’t let him take you. Over my dead body.” Was all he said as she continued to sob.

“I’m so scared. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you Oppa,”

“Shhhh. It’s okay my love. It’s fine. You did now.”

He continued to comfort her until she could calm down. A constant apology left her mouth. Chan didn’t want an apology he just wanted to protect her and he knew the only way he could talk to her was if she had calmed down.

“Have you eaten?” He asked her knowing the answer. He just didn’t want to make it seem like he was tracking her consumption.

“I’m not hungry,” her face was squashed against his chest making the words come out a little muffled.

“You are. You’ve lost so much weight. Let’s go buy you some ramen and we can talk okay? How does that sound?”

“That’s okay Chan. I’m ready to talk.”

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thepersonnamedsam · 1 year

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If it’s possible to have Yellow and Charles from the song prompts

No rush <3

pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader

summary: charles is the biggest simp and we all know it, from this prompt list

word count: 1k

warnings: dead mother, short mention of alcoholism, angst, mostly fluff though

note: it was so sweet to write this, thank you for requesting!

masterlist / taglist

Look at the stars Look how they shine for you

The stars were something very important to you. Your mother, may she rest in peace, was an Astrophysicist. At a young age she already explained the constellations to you. She always told you, that the stars were shining just for you.

You missed her dearly, she died when you were just 11. She was your rock, and she was always behind you. Your father, not having great coping mechanism, started to drink himself to sleep. He was okay during the day, but as soon as the moon had risen, he was drunk.

The stars were your safe haven, always finding comfort in them.

And everything you do Yeah, they were all yellow

Your favorite color was yellow, form your bedsheets to your wardrobe, everything was yellow. It was because the stars were mostly shining a white-yellow-y color. When you met Charles, you were wearing an all-yellow outfit, light yellow flowy pants with a yellow corset and some white heels. Your hair in two low buns. You were smiling and laughing over something on your phone. He thought it maybe was your boyfriend, but it was not, it was just a meme.

You looked so graceful, sitting there smiling at your phone, even if you were wearing all yellow. Everything you did seemed beautiful. Something else that Charles noticed, was that you were all alone, just sitting in a parc, not seeming to wait on someone or something.

I came along I wrote a song for you

Charles sat on the bench, not knowing how to speak to you. So, he left after a while. He was so disappointed that he couldn’t talk to you. He went the next day again and the day after tomorrow too. You were sitting there every day and he was too. You did notice him but didn’t pay him any thought.

Charles was so nervous, when he got home, he always felt so creative. He wrote a song for you. Just a simple piano melody, but it was still thoughtful of him. The next time he saw you, he slid a flash drive with his song on it. You smiled, not knowing what Charles was doing.

And it was called Yellow So then I took my turn

At home you listened to the song, and you were mesmerized. It was called yellow. The next day you waited for the mysterious man and wanted to thank him for the beautiful song. But he didn’t come, it was a Wednesday and Charles was on his way to another race week. You waited and waited and waited but he didn’t come. You gave up and just showed up like you used to, not waiting on him anymore.

When he was back on Monday, you were sitting there. He sat down next to you; you looked up and instantly smiled. “I liked the song, thank you for that”, you told him. Charles smiled shyly, looking down at the ground. “Thank you”, his voice quiet.

Oh, what a thing to have done And it was all yellow

You two connected more over time, befriending one another. Meeting outside of the parc and learning things about each other. He now knew why yellow your favorite color was or how the starts are very important to you.

And when Charles went for a stroll, everything he saw was yellow, what have you done to him?

Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones Turn into something beautiful

Charles admired everything about you, your skin, your face, your hair, everything was just beautiful. He knew he liked you more than he should, but he couldn’t tell you. But you thought the same thing about him, his bone structure was mesmerizing and his way of taking, you could’ve melted.

You know I love you so

When Charles finally confessed is feelings to you, the first thing you told him was: “You know I love you so much, right?” He smiled and kissed you, feeling like he just won the lottery. All because you wore yellow that day. His song and your reaction brought you two together.

I swam across I jumped across for you

When you visited Charles in Imola for the first time, it rained, heavily. Charles and you walked around, just sightseeing the Italian town a bit. Charles telling you all about the history of the place, being a good tour guide for you.

You were wearing a hat to shield your face. A windblow came and your hat was flying, landing I a big puddle on the other side of the street, so Charles immediately ran across the street to fish your hat out of the water puddle.

I drew a line I drew a line for you

You had drawn Charles before, but always with him not knowing. When you asked Charles to draw him for the first time, he was surprised. He sat as still s humanly possible, not wanting to ruin your picture, be he could never.

And you know, for you, I'd bleed myself dry For you, I'd bleed myself dry

After being finished with your drawing, you showed him. He was impressed, he was so in love with you. He knew, if ever something happened to you, he would do anything to either stop it or heal it. You were his everything. He’d bleed himself dry if that meant you’d live a bit longer.

Look how they shine for you And all the things that you do

The night he sank down on one knee, he first looked at the stars and then back at you, silently asking your mother for permission. When they shined brighter, he took it as his sign to ask you to marry him.

“Will you marry me and make me the happiest man alive?”

Of course, you would, looking up to the stars you cried, happy tears of course. You felt your mother with you and as Charles kissed you, you knew that this was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

#f1 x reader #charles leclerc x reader #f1 #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x you #formula one x y/n #formula one #formula 1 #fluff #formula one fluff #yellow aesthetic #coldplay

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thyfatedenemy · 2 years

Text

He sends you a dick pic and you send this back to him, reactions

I'm fucked up over driving classes and I hate them sm so I wrote this and I'm going to inflict the psychic damage onto all of you to cope

Charachters: Cater, Trey, Leona, Idia, Malleus, Lilia

🔞 contect because... weenies

Cater:

Dude spend HOURS trying to find the perfect angle, the perfect lighting, everything needs to be PERFECT, otherwise he's not sending it.

There it was. The perfect picture. Everything about it was perfect.

And then

Then you have the AUDACITY to send something like that to him.

How dare you?

How dare you be this funny?

Screw you. He loves you so much god damn it, he's got his dick out, it's hard, and he's wheezing his lungs out.

Because of you.

Please come see him rn he wants to kiss his amazing comedian S/O

Trey:

Gonna be honest, you need to bring up the subject.

And he says "sure", like the tiny little fool he is.

Doesn't spend too much time on it but makes it look decent.

Y'know, just a nice little treat for yo-

What is that.

Baby.

Baby what is that. Why.

He's confused.

Then it clicks.

You set him up.

You so nicely asked for a dick pic. All because you wanted to use the reaction picture. Also probably because u wanted a dick pic but we can ignore that for now.

He sends a grumpy cat meme in responce.

Leona:

Puts a lil' effort into it but tbh he'd just rather have you there with him.

Checks the phone occasionally to see when you've responded.

Stares at the image send back to him.

Stares it a bit longer.

Tries to decide what to do now.

For once he's. He's really not sure what he's supposed to do here.

Leaves you on read by accident.

He's not mad he's just very confused.

Idia:

Took him alot to send it, he's shy like that.

The picture is a bit blurry and somehow he managed to make his dick look shy, but y'know, decent picture all in all.

Tbh the meme gets a good laugh out of him, if you ever end up sending him nudes, he'll just send it back to you.

It's an inside joke now.

If you two ever have sex, he's first gonna pull the picture from his phone.

"woaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

"sex"

"so cool"

Please laugh with him.

Malleus: blame @malewife-central for this one /j

He.

Okay so he can't use a phone.

But this doesn't stop him.

He spends hours trying to draw his own dicks

Honestly it's a really good drawing too. Shading, lighting, every single detail is immaculate.

Then he puts it in an envelope, puts a wax seal on it, and sends it to you with magic. The letter burns if anyone but you opens it.

He waits patiently for your responce.

It comes in the form of a carrier pidgeon he'd gifted you.

He opens the envelope.

Teleports to you an asks for an explanation.

You end up spending a few hours with him, explaining the meme.

No he doesn't have his pants on.

Another one whose not mad, just very confused.

Lilia:

Well on a good note, he knows how phones work... probably.

He'd prefer you there with him, pictures like these seem so detatched, but y'know he has no problem with sending the picture either.

He sees the meme and falls to the ground in tears. He's shaking, crying, trying to stop himself from cackling in the hour of our lord, 22:02/10:02pm

Also teleports to you. His dicks still out but u can ignore that.

You've broken this man he can't stop laughing, like seriously it's been 10 minutes.

#mild nsft #malleus x reader #lilia x reader #leona x reader #trey x reader #cater x reader #twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst headcanons #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst x reader #twst malleus #twst lilia #twst cater #twst trey #twst leona #mollusk.txt

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lizaluvsthis · 2 months

Text

SMG4: Trash Friends

Shit. Hello guys- I stole my phone and it is currently 4 am and I posted this (Because it's scheduled on queue)

I'm still not here but I managed to grab the phone out of the room, I can post for a bit. But then again, I wont be catching up to stuff while I'm at it.

Okay so- this video is about SMG4 needing that usb where michael jordan is n stuff to become popular.

SMG3 is needing that one to become popular as well so that his shop would be flooded by customers.

And then where it comes to needing stuff, they'd do literally anything for their 'friends' to get it.

SMG3 lied to him saying the business is running good, he just didnt want to face the problem in front of the protagonist that he's going downhill with running the business.

"I'm finally gonna get the attention I deserve, and prove to everyone YOU'RE THE WORST VERSION OF ME!"

This? This was his thoughts. This is how it speaks for him that is why he was afraid to show that to him.

After SMG3 told Mario he needs that usb for Fame and Love because SMG4 has too much of that. He knew how much important it is to him. He wanted the same love like how SMG4 has, he'd never had all the attention like how SMG4 had too. He was lost of himself.

Mario being the gullible idiotic man he is, he never complained to three about his speak of truth, he had comforted his friends especially meggy. Mario figured that Three had exposed his inner emotions, the most that he can do is just vomit that sh-t out.

Right after Three hid Mario from his hat, turns out he really does need shampoo. I mightve noticed that he'd been staying up late at night and doesn't shower because of his bad habits.

Sometimes depressed people mostly forgot to shower and just cope sh-ts to themselves like curling up to the bed and wallow in sorrow. And mostly they just hide that feeling. And I guess you might've noticed SMG4 did. Thats the reason why he searched that up from the internet.

He was THIS obviously close to reveal he had been concerned about Three because he stinks.

When SMG4 told three what the matter was, since the only thing he knew from him is that his business is doing fine. SMG4 thought that three wanted that fame all to himself, being the selfish one he knew back then.

After four told him "you're being selfish! All you ever think about is yourself! JUST. LET. GO!" the soft spot where SMG3 got his by the heart because of it.

He never wanted to go back to being how he wanted to be. He never wanted to show that whole destruction thing again from his ecil doings. This was the rrason why he ever wanted to change into a better person.

"OKAY!" "Okay...?" SMG4 noticed where Three easily surrendered himself, letting his guard down due to his anger.

He opened up.

"YEAH! I dont know what I was thinking! I'm doing fine! My shop is ALWAYS flooded with customers, I'm SO successful. Nobody is EVER throwing my coupons in garbage.

AND I DEFINITELY DON'T FEEL LIKE THE WORST VERSION OF YOU THAT LIKES TO PRETEND HE'S DOING FINE!"

HE said that to himself. When he thought he'd be the worst ever version of him, because he was supposed to be an antagonist. He was supposed to be SMG4's enemy, but he was also supposed to be partners with Four because they were both meme guardians.

SMG4 didn't knew. He always didnt know all of SMG3's antics because he thought Three also had everything to himself. But he didn't know he also felt like this, like Trash.

SO THIS GOES ON WITH THE MORAL. SMG4 noticing it just now is that he felt like TRASH. Because last time he'd ever notice is just Three wanting attention of how the golden child (aka SMG4) is when he gains that love and joy with everyone from meme warts.

Yet Three is there saying that to himself. He was there being open to Four and to Mario that he is struggling as well. His whole life, his financial issues, everything that meant to him. He popped the balloon and spoke the truth.

Four picked up the coupon, he was sad about this when he had finally just realized the whole sh-t of things. Sure four has done alot of wrong things but this? This is sick to his guts feeling bad for three...

Four looked at mario because he knows how valuable of a friend Mario is when dealing with emotions and open ups. And so- he got to the talk with three.

With all thats settled, SMG3 came back and fist bumbs Four to know that he's good now. What I also didn't expect is that three after using the usb, Four didn't even stop him. He looks at three with those softened eyes and just. Wow.

Four really wanted to show three his kindness, he was soft on him so he gave him a chance. He wanted three to be happy too.

#smg4 #smg34 #smg3 #smg4 smg3 #lizafixates

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borderlinereminders · 1 month

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They left you on read, and now you feel like spiraling. So the question is, what do you do? I want to specify that for this post, I am talking about pre-established friendships.

First of all, stop and take a breath if you can. A lot of times, we have urges to spam message someone, or send messages asking if they still care about us, or even urges to be passive aggressive because we feel hurt. This can damage your relationships though. If you are struggling with urges, please read about Urge Surfing. The goal of urge surfing is to "ride the wave" of an urge. Another suggestion I have is to try some grounding exercises to pull yourself out.

In most cases, being left on read does not equal rejection, even though it can feel that way. The next thing to do is to find an alternate reason they might not be responding. Here is a list of possible reasons here, but keep in mind that there are numerous other reasons that are not on this list. People have downtime sometimes, but it doesn't mean they want to fill that downtime with talking to people. Even people who are important to them. And that's okay. It doesn't mean they care about you any less.

If you are feeling rejected, challenge those thoughts. I personally keep screenshots from my loved ones that tell me they love me that I can read back when I need a reminder. I also keep a list of things they've done that show me they love me. Here's a post on challenging thoughts.

The next thing I recommend doing is to focus on distraction. A really great skill for that is ACCEPTS. Here's a write up on that here.

Below the read more is some stuff for some long-term coping/communication. It can totally be skipped though if you were just looking to get through an immediate situation.

Sometimes, greater communication might be needed. While no one owes you unlimited access to them, it might be good to set up plans with people who may feel too drained to talk (possibly for days on end), or even friends that may open a notification and then get distracted and forget to reply (and no, this doesn't mean they don't care about you.)

In the first case, it's so valid to feel drained from talking to people. And while people are allowed to take space they need, sometimes it can be a lot for us if it's going on multiple days. It is possible to find compromise. For example, I have one friend who feels insecure if I go a few days without talking to them. For us, we've established a specific emoticon that I can send that says "Hey, it's not you at all. I just am not up to talking right now." I send the emoticon if it's going on a couple days because I don't want to leave them hanging.

For the second case, someone forgetting, in situations like this it might be good to establish beforehand what an acceptable amount of time is before you can send a follow up nudge. While my best friend and I talk a lot, sometimes she forgets to do stuff that we need for the business we run together. We've discussed that it's okay for me to nudge her once a day because she does genuinely forget.

There are also different rules for different friendships. For example, my best friend is allowed to absolutely spam me. The messages can be related or not. But we've established that it's okay if I'm not up to answering, and in this specific friendship, it doesn't drain me if she messages multiple times because there is no pressure on my end to respond.

Either way, it's okay to talk to your friends about situations like this. Is there an acceptable amount of time they're okay with you sending a follow up message? Is it okay if they aren't up to replying to your message, but have the energy to send you an emoticon or even a picture of their pet without responding to the actual message? (Sometimes I have the energy to share memes, or pet pics, but don't have the mental energy to answer a bigger question, and my friends know and are okay with me coming back to the question later while continuing on the conversation in other ways.) If they frequently go quiet because of their mental health, is there a compromise for both of you? Sometimes, it isn't even about our insecurity but that (especially with online friends) we may be concerned for their well-being and would like an indicator they're okay.

Remember that sometimes friendships aren't compatible, and it isn't a reflection on either of you. But if your friend isn't able to compromise and you feel constantly stressed/worried, then maybe the friendship isn't compatible. And that's okay! It's okay to need to walk away from a friendship even if someone hasn't actually done something "wrong."

A lot of my anxiety about being left on read went away as I worked on my own healing and coping. I used to make my life all about my relationships, and I'd feel lost if I was alone. It took me a long time for me to find an identity outside of other people, and it was so worth doing.

#my post #relationship advice

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captainmera · 2 months

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Depression has hit me really hard, and a lot of things are happening at the same time.

I'm simultaneously burnt out and on the verge of a collapse, but like... I can't really do anything about it. I'm just sort of waiting for the stick to break so I can work thru it and move along.

I can't even focus on important things like replying to mails without my brain circumventing into something else.

Avpd and burnout is putting me in a constant brain fog these days. And severe maladaptive daydreaming.

I'm trying to be social and grounded, but I feel like everything around me is drowned in mist, and when I speak, it's through molasses.

I know I'm disappointing ppl by putting certain things on hold, like fanfics, my comic, or asks. But I just can't do it r/n. it will come in whatever speed it comes at.

And frankly I'm just too fried and tired to extend more than a sigh of empathy to your frustration with me. I understand you, I do. But I'm just some guy. I'm not getting paid. I'm broke and tired, and I can't be arsed to even be upset.

Atm, I'm doing this Caleb-focused comic mainly just to do something else than hyperventilate or maladaptive daydream. It's helping me have some control over what I disappear into, something physical, rather than sit on the floor and stare off into space.

I could do it for ibwr, I should be putting that energy there.

But there's some stressful things going on there with contracts and whatnot that's put a damper on things. Money is stressful. At least a stressful damper. So it's difficult to concentrate on it with that humming in the background, y'know?

Anyway.

Bear with me, please. I know people are impressed by my productivity and speed - but it's not so impressive once you know I'm just unwell and trying to cope. I also have a lot of time on my hands.

I'm fine, really, I am. /GEN I just can't do four projects at once. I can do two tops. And right now it's the caleb comic and IBWR. That's it.

I'm aware it's not super great to work so much when I'm burnt out.

But know that I'm choosing one pest lesser than another greater pest. So the constant "REST!!" Comments aren't, like, fantastic. I just feel ashamed for not being better than I am or being able to practice what I preach.

Lo and behold, being mentally unwell and not being wholesome healthy about it. Who would've known it is complicated to be unwell, actually? /LHJ /GEN /notSarcasm

I know I don't owe anybody anything. But I just kinda wanted to have a sigh and vague-post-gesture at what I'm standing in to the void of the Internet.

Because I do get comments and asks asking where an update is, or why I didn't draw their ask, or why I'm putting energy in X instead of Y, etc.

So I'm just......... I'm just gonna like....... ignore it. It's not personal.

I love and appreciate your love for my work, I really do. Thank you for all of your excitement and your feedback. Its been a delight. /GEN

But... I'm just gonna have to ignore what the majority of people crave from me and do what I want in the pace I need to do it.

okay? :(

Look. Just allow it fam.

Just allow it.

Using memes to try to communicate some essence of lightheartedness.

#liveblogging

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thowawayuntilfurthernotice · 6 months

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Helluva Boss fans trying to cope with the fact that their dog shit demon cartoon isn’t really that popular with the general public is some of the funniest shit.

While I don’t care all that for much for The Circus Show, I can understand why so many folks like it.

It has unique art style, interesting characters, and plenty of scenes that can be used for memes.

Also, I get what Chiplock is doing, he’s playing the “It’s okay guys, you can like both.” card because he most likely doesn’t wanna deal with drama. But it really doesn’t matter what he says or does, Viv’s fans are still gonna attack The Circus Show’s fandom and crew. Because they can’t stand seeing folks praise an indie show that wasn’t made by Viv.

#Vivziepop Critical #Helluva Boss Critical #Hazbin Hotel Critical #Spindlehorse Critical

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frownyalfred · 10 months

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*busts down your doors* HEY! Long ask for ya

okay so I was rereading your fic where EMS showed up because Dick couldn’t flip on the trampoline (rip) and it got me thinking about routine trauma.

So here’s the thing: I am not EMS. I know three people who are EMS, but my extent of EMS experience comes from one (1) ride along and lurking on EMS subreddits. Those guys are a hoot. Great memes. Anyways.

A comment stuck out to me: “You haven’t truly lived the job until you’re eating a gas station burrito next to a dead body”. I’ve seen a bunch like that. Nonchalance and dark humor because well, that’s their job. Gore is the norm. Sure, depending on the area, your usual calls might just be lift assists, but other areas are neck deep in gang violence and violent crime.

A pretty common post on that subreddit is also, sadly, “I just got a call that’s never bothered me before but all of a sudden I’m broken” or “I’ve never had a problem running this type of call before but all of a sudden it just hit me.” Delayed trauma is a bitch. Someone pointed out that if a civilian saw a fatal car accident with multiple corpses, they’d be in therapy and given support and it’d be a huge deal. With EMS, they’re just expected to deal with it. (EMS mental health is getting better- there are helplines and resources and first responder focused therapies- but it’s still a developing field)

ANYWAYS, now that I’ve given you a crash course on the EMS mental health crisis (someone should really write a feature on EMS in Gotham those fuckers would be crazy and I love them already), my point is, how would this apply to the bats? Seeing bodies is treated as very much the norm to them, but do you think it ever just… catches up? The impact of seeing corpses day after day? Do you think they have to fake being fine and tough during those times because well, “everybody else in the family is fine with it, I’m not going to be a liability/burden/weak/etc”

Do you think Bruce, the goddamn batman, who shouldn’t be ruffled by anything, ever just feels something crack inside when he looks at a little boy who could have grown up healthy and strong like his Jason, had (Bruce) someone been there for him? and then he can’t work cases with kids for a week?

This is such an excellent ask, thank you so much for gracing my inbox with it!

It's a very good question. I'm also on a lot of those subreddits (needed to do some research for that fic) and the discussion in those forums and on TikTok is like you described, a kind of practiced desensitization to all gore and suffering in order to survive in their job.

What I've seen from those discussions (and my EMT friend) is an almost sub-conscious trend where they allow themselves the "thing" that breaks them, and they push a lot of that trauma and emotion onto that thing. Like an EMT saying they don't do kids, or they don't do gunshots to the eye, etc. And they'll sob like a baby on those calls, while remaining stone-faced and level-headed through the triple homicide.

I'm just theorizing here, but I imagine the Batfamily uses similar coping skills -- pushing all that trauma and suffering into a box which cracks only under limited, defined circumstances. And they break or snap only under those conditions, because, subconsciously, they allowed themselves to.

So yes, Bruce might be 99% fine with most of the bodies he sees, but there might be a little boy who has a detail (like Jason's dark hair) that just slams into him out of nowhere.

PTSD and trauma literally change the structure of the brain. Individuals react differently to trauma after that, but there does appear to be a "desensitizing" effect with repeated trauma, as the body tries to compensate.

I agree that the Gotham EMTs must be some crazy motherfuckers. They probably deal with 6x the normal shit EMTs deal with in other cities. They probably take on a lot more trauma and burn out quicker than other EMTs, too.

Anyone else have thoughts on this? I admit I don't cover PTSD explicitly in a lot of my fics.

#ptsd #trauma tw #ptsd tw #death tw #bruce wayne #dc #batman #myfic #theresurrectionist #batfamily #batfamily meta #bruce wayne meta #batman meta #asks

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bowerywilliam · 1 year

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you know what annoys me of the taylor swift album release cycle? the incessant, unnecessary comments the general public and even some people in the fandom make about how taylor "always victimises herself for no reason", or how she "loves to play the victim when she's just a rich popstar without real problems", and more recently that she "shouldn't use words like intrusive thoughts, trauma, and emotional abuse to talk about what's happened to her or her experiences with anxiety because she doesn't know what that's like". it fucking infuriates me.

taylor swift acts and writes like a victim because, quite simply, she's been made one, point black, end of the sentence. she should be allowed to write about her experiences with abuse, any type of abuse from any source, without people deciding for her if it was actually abusive or traumatic, or policing her choice of coping mechanism.

people's unwillingness to accept and acknowledge much of what taylor has gone through during her career as abuse and trauma is baffling to me because i honestly can't think of a term that describes it better.

she has been made fun of and ridiculised by the media since she was a child for doing things children and teenagers do (be naive about love, write about boys, go on dates, dress age appropriate), she's been slut shamed by everyone on the internet for dating a less than average amount, she's gone through public humiliation on a mass scale twice now (the first one when she was just nineteen) by a much older, well respected, established male artist, she has been abused by men both professionally and emotionally, she was made an example of what girls ought not to do or be lest you end up just like her, she's been isolated since childhood because she never felt she fit in with the rest.

she's gone through all of those things while at the same time being gaslighted (and i'm using this word in its original clinical meaning and not the internet meme one) into thinking none of that was as bad as she's making it out to be and she ended up okay so it can't have caused her real trauma because nothing happened, it was all fine and a joke. these are things we recognise as hurtful, abusive, and traumatic in other people but as soon as they're experienced by someone who copes with it through writing music she then sells for a profit then suddenly it's not and she's exaggerating it for attention.

she talks about herself in the same hyper-aware, hyper-vigilant, anxious way victims of abuse and survivors of high stress situations do and that's why her music resonates with so many of us who have been abused in the past as well, because she's putting into words things we experience on the daily and i genuinely don't think it's because she wants to. no one wants to go through those things and then go through a new cycle of humiliation every time you talk about your experiences just to make a few dollars.

it's maddening that the attitude most people take when discussing her trauma is to minimise it or straight up deny it because she was able to transform some of that pain into a #1 single

i don't ask people to sympathise or feel bad about her but to accept that we have agreed that online bullying and dog piling on a mass scale is abusive and traumatic, that women being taken advantage of by the male superiors is traumatic, that women being slut shamed for enjoying their sexuality is abusive and traumatic, that being in relationships where your partner is volatile is traumatic, that being coerced and manipulated into relationships with older men is abusive, that being retaliated against in public after revealing you were sexually assaulted is traumatic; so why should none of that apply to her? why is she not allowed to be vocal about being in all those situations without someone telling her she's not gone through actual trauma? why does everyone gets to decide for her whether or not she's actually been abused and if she can or cannot claim victimhood?

accepting taylor's abuse and her victimhood does nothing to take away from yours or that of others. accepting that she's allowed and entitled to discuss her experiences doesn't silence you. you don't have to like her but to dismiss her is disrespectful because when you do that you're not only dismissing her own experiences with abuse and trauma, but that of people in similar situations who empathise and identify with her.

TL;DR: taylor doesn't write about being a victim nearly as much as the people trying to discredit her work say she does, but if she did she would be entirely justified in it because she has been in a lot of situations where she's been victimised and abused by people who knew what they were doing to her and you don't get to decide if she was sufficiently traumatised by them or not. recognising taylor's experience with abuse does nothing to minimise or invalidate yours, two people can be abused in two different ways and doesn't mean one is less entitled to compassion. it's not a competition.

#turning off my anons in a minute because i know this post is gonna ruffle some feathers and i do not want to make it seem like any of what #i said here is up for discussion or debate. it's not. these are all facts and if you feel the need to debate facts then that's on you #everyone is up for believing and supporting victims until the victim is a successful woman who was able to turn the situation on its head #i am just so tired of people refusing to accept her experiences for what they are just because she's successful and rich #anyway....

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creatingnikki · 6 months

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notes to self: existing delulu land edition

knowing yourself and your needs and accepting then instead of ignoring them or forcing yourself to change is the first step towards most of what you want. once you understand that, you can work around it, you can work with it.

your need is connections. human connections that are authentic and warm and present. you don't like people who are absent and those that are inconsistent in their communication. it makes you anxious and triggers your overthinking qualities. you want to feel secure in the connection you share with the person and presence, consistent communication, and actions aligning with words are the basics of that.

so you don't force yourself to not want connections. you just make sure your life is full of wholesome, fulfilling, beautiful ones. you pick the good ones and you say bye to the bad ones before they develop into sources of unnecessary agony and hurt. you realize how to limit the impact of a connection with someone and how to deal with disappointment.

feeling good about yourself and being at peace with yourself, at least a little bit, is what will help you have clarity about what you want in a relationship and in your life. because then you won't be using people and situations as maladpative coping mechanisms or a way to soothe your insecurities or fill holes instead of fix them.

what do you not feel good about right now? the lack of stability across most aspects of your life? you're working on it, I know. and it's hard, I know. but you have to continue. for yourself. and to also form the kind of connections that you seek the most with others in life.

you have to lower the volume of social media and all these cross connections. meme culture and reels and echo chambers that make you feel like being delulu is the only solulu and that everyone is depressed and everything is fucked and adulting is the worst. because the truth is that it may make you laugh and humour helps but subconsciously you start believing these narratives and then it becomes the normal. but when the fuck did it become okay to normalize feeling tired and sleepless all the time? girl dinner and sad boi hours? situationships and casual dating when such intimacy means something to you? if you were 19 maybe you could let all this be a part of your vocabulary and life. but at 26 when you're seeking a balanced, healthy, good life and future, you have to reduce your consumption of the internet content and really protect your brain.

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