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#could be their wedding picture honestly
admireforever · 7 months
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Heartstopper
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redemptiionss · 7 months
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I’ve never been great at making or maintaining relationships with people irl (probably due to several reasons) and now as an adult with a full time job, idk how making friends / meeting people is even possible… My life rn for the past few years has been just work and home lol. There’s nothing much here for me outside of that. I’ve tried to go to a few Deaf events but there’s almost never anyone in my age group lol so that’s not much of an option either!
And lately it’s really hit me that I’m just a couple years away from turning thirty and I’m not turning any younger ya know? I feel like I don’t have much to show for it and I’m still single lol.
And that’s a whole another issue tbh. Because I have very very mixed feelings about men tbh, partially from my personal experiences. And so it’s hard for me lol even if I do want to get married and have kids. Back then I felt like I had all the time in the world and so dating / looking for a romantic partner was never a priority for me but now? Idk. I don’t think I have regrets as I never liked any of the guys who’s liked me, but I do wonder if I should have tried harder in the dating aspect, which, yeah. Idk. It’s hard for me to do that when I’ve never been quite comfortable around men. 😅 not that most of them ever cared about making sure I was comfortable around them and without pressuring me though, tbh. But overall I feel like I’ve probably self sabotaged myself with like a lot of relationships / friendships in general.
So like idk. I’m trying not to despair but there are times where I wish I didn’t exist or that I would die and everything seems hopeless and tbh I think I’m just a bit depressed. 🙃
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alphalesbian · 2 years
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#.................................................................................................................................#so another update on my skin i guess . . .#about a week in and its basically everywhere on my chest and terribly on my back and legs and butt : - ( worst its gotten so far is itchy as#all hell on my side but thankfully so far thats really it....... ive maybe been tired n had a sore ish throat like when i first felt it but#not really anymore.... now its just my skin looking. awful lol everywhere#but....... i found out about this skin thing that looks Exactly The Same As Mine Looks Right Now and that ! was a major relief considering !#its not a serious skin thing and my symptoms almost entirely align with the process so far ! ! !#as much as i am still skeptical im just. i dont know that helped a lot i guess. everything else id found n been thinking it could be were#oretty serious things for the most part which honestly raqcking my brain about that for the past week uh#probably wasnt the best mental health decision to make OTL...............#still gonna go up the mountain for some cheap blood work tommorow..... then back to urgent care on wed/thurs to really make sure its nothing#serious which will also immediately improve my headspace regardless so. thats good too#and the help from my best friend . . . . . . . . . i am so so lucky to have him he is literally so special. i was right at the bottom and he#didnt even hesistate . crazy how that can feel so nice and hurt so much at the same time#hurt really from just honestly how immensely empty i was and how much i really needed that support#still though absolutely heated from. the initial situation and how my main support just kinda fucked off in response lmao! but#all that greif and sadness and ugly crying aside today has been a mostly good day in comparison. let alone finding out something it could#absolutely very well be and its Not Super Serious Necessarily and Pretty Common all things considered#is a big plus. . . . a lot to think about and a lot to do as always just really really gotta keep my head on my shoulders . . . . . . . . .#okay and honestly all that aside ladies it looks. so crazy. i really actually maybe am gonna take pictures of this to really document it nd#even if its a serious thing its like. so crazy looking#feels pretty ridiculous dont get me wrong it literally feels like my skin is fucked up where its raised n swollen but the pattern is#idk medically fascinating to me i guess is the best way to say it lol#how would that be for my first selfie in like 4 years teehee 😌 anyways enough of my ranting but in case anyones interested here ya go . . .
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cherry-leclerc · 5 months
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lolita ☆ cs55
genre: age gap (10 years), porn with plot, affairs, forbidden romance, angst, mentions of suicide, mentions of drugs, tragedy, erotic literature
word count: 14.9k
You were young, alluring, floating through a disastrous life with the touch of a thousand angels. Carlos was successful, irresistible and someone who often kept a distance from catastrophe. Never in a million years did he think he would have a complete moment of weakness. Especially the week of his wedding. 
nsfw warning under the cut!
18+... sexual tension, penetrative sex, dry humping, riding, size kink, oral sex (f and m receiving), semi - public sex, deepthroating, praise, fingering, handjobs, lots of dirty foreplay, slapping (like once AH), a bit of edging, overstimulation, a bit of crying, sucking on fingers, squirting - i should stop now, oh god.  
inspired by this and this !
STOP AND READ:
This by no means - in any shape or form - is something that should be admired or looked up to. It does deal with serious topics such as: grooming, suicide, and drugs. While the reader is of age (19), this is not my way of impulsing my own readers - especially younger ones, if by any chance they come across this - to follow this mindset. Dark themes will take place and if that is not something you are comfortable with, then that is okay, I definitely have more light hearted fics in my masterlist. “Love stories” aren’t always filled with flowers and rainbows, they can also be hurtful and confusing, often misunderstood. This is fictional. Given, this is inspired by Lolita and Blue Velvet by Lana Del Rey (*everyone cheers*) – what that means is that this story will not have a happy ending. Verses of Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov are also mentioned (extremely controversial book - as it should be).
cherry here!…hi, guys! i hope you all enjoy and i’m gonna do it now: I’M SORRY. 
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She was as dangerous as poison could ever be - with no good intentions. She was malicious, sweet laughter that would make anyone fall in love. An Angel walking on Earth, curiously making it her playground. 
He was intelligent. A man of few words, but also simply so, the seven deadly sins all wrapped up in one. Keeping a distance from things he knew would bring him no good.
But in order to understand, we would have to take you back to where it all began. 
Where Paradise met Hell.
-
Growing up in Italy for some odd reason made you out to be the girl you were. Men there would throw themselves at any opportunity if they saw a single daisy looking girl in eyesight. At first it felt as if you were walking a tightrope; you knew it wouldn’t be the wisest idea to fall straight into their traps. Except, slowly, it made sense.
They knew how to sweet talk someone so young and naive - you’ll give them that. It only took one taste and that was the moment you knew. 
You liked them older.
Men fucked in a way boys never would. Every single one would always put your needs first - but there was this one man that had you realizing how fucked up you could be in order to get what you want. That’s one prize you’d cheat to win.
And that’s a story for later.
-
Moving away for college was the best decision you felt you would ever make in your entire life. Given, Italy was home, but the people in it weren’t. Often, you find yourself missing your rendezvous but studying abroad in Spain wasn’t much different.
Note; you didn’t grow up with a tight knit family. Your mother was a drug addict with half of her days knocked out on the couch, your father was someone who was occasionally in the picture. He tried his best.
And your older sister, Ollie? 
Well, you’d honestly forgotten you even had one. 
Some may say that you’re a whore, a slut, a homewrecker, or any other Spanish slur that spits Madrid, but you never cared. You were having fun and why were you the one always being blamed? Perhaps, men, too, should think with their heads rather than their dicks.
Which is how you find yourself still repeating the familiar pattern you had started a long time ago. Riding your professor shouldn’t feel this good. Mierda, he would groan as you bounce up and down like a bunny. Mewling, you shake the feeling of remorse. Not when he felt this good. 
Your phone ringing is what makes you stop, him still inside of you, twitching. Ciao? His calloused fingers would slide up to pinch your nipples as you lightly gasped. 
“Tesoro! Haven’t heard your voice in so long.”
Your father’s tone makes you wince at the reminder. Occasionally, he would check up on you in a way you would assume other fathers did for their daughters. You could never hate him, though. In his own way, deep down, he still cared.
“Papi, how are you?”
Sliding off of his lap, you zip your dress back on as you pace the lecture room. Bored, he takes out his secret whiskey from under his desk. Your sister is getting married in a few weeks! I was thinking you could fly back home so you could join us. The thought alone made your stomach churn as you bit down onto your thumb. Signaling at the older man, you click your fingers, hinting for a glass of your own. He obliges, handing it to you.
“I’m busy with summer courses. Maybe I can send a gift?”
You try everything in the book in order to get out of what seems like a crappy, dull, Italian wedding. It had been ages since you last stepped foot there. In no right mind would Ollie’s wedding be the one to change that. But he says things that get to you. I haven’t seen you in years. Neither has your sister. She misses you, you know?
You bite down on a snarky remark as you down the rest of the gold liquid. Last time you spoke, she promised that you were dead to her. That she never wanted to hear from you again. In the moment, it hurt, but you grew used to the idea. And what younger sister doesn’t pick up on what older sister says? Now, you despised her as much as she did you.
“Ovviamente. I’ll be there.”
-
It’s hot as soon as you land. That you didn’t miss. Ale, your fathers chauffeur, picks you up with a bright smile. Saddened, it dawns on you that you hadn’t seen one of those in ages. He’s nice. Let's you sit in the passenger's seat as he introduces himself. He mentions he has 5 granddaughters and has been married for almost 50 years. It’s sweet. Makes you feel human.
Pulling into the driveway, you almost want to correct him. This isn’t my fathers house. You must be mistaken. Only, he says he isn’t. That he had recently moved into his Italian mansion a year ago. You’re skeptical for a minute, but realize you can’t be one to tell. Years have passed; things change.
Still, that didn’t stop you from gawking at the ginormous house that sits on a hill; overlooking all of Tuscany. It even had a beautiful view of the ocean. Why couldn’t you grow up with this?
“I’ll inform your father that you have arrived safely.”
Taking it all in, you slowly pace the entrance, analyzing everything in sight. The crystals hanging from the chandelier, large - expensive - portraits, shiny mirrors. Quirking your head to the side, you glide over to the golden trophy sitting in the middle of the spacious entry.
Carlos Sainz Sr. : Rally Driver of-
“That belonged to my father. He passed away a year ago.”
Startled, you grip onto the trophy tighter as you slightly jump in panic. You curse yourself for being caught as you delicately place it back down before turning your attention to the booming voice.
Instantly, you’re hit with lust. Standing in front of you is a tall man - around his 20’s, perhaps - dark brown eyes narrowed down on you like knives. Messy, untamed, brown hair. Large nose, plump lips, dark brows. His figure is something you can’t wrap your head around that even exists. Richard Mille's watch clung onto his wrist. Giorgio Armani pressed up against his chest, it almost looked as if it didn’t fit due to his rippling muscles. Woody, rich, scent filling up the room. 
He was the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes on. 
“I am so, so, sorry.”
Your voice is so soft, it has him intrigued. You wore a short pastel yellow dress that didn’t leave much to his imagination; paired with converse and tube socks. Rosy tint on your cheekbones from the humidity. Berry lips. Wide, innocent eyes. He’d be lying if he said you didn’t take his own breath away. Even though you stood far enough away, he could still smell your vanilla perfume. 
Inching closer, he waves you off. “I was kidding. My father is well and alive.” You tippy toe nervously before planting your feet back down. 
“That’s not a nice thing to say.”
And he’s surprised with your response. Yet, he finds himself extending his tan hand out to you. “I’m Carlos.”
Carlos. His name sounds as attractive as his appearance. Strong and sure. But also…dark. You shake his hand, legs quivering at his warm touch. Deep down, he knew how much he affected you - it’s something he’s grown quite accustomed to, having people admire his looks, but it took a lot to not show that you had the same effect on him.
“Nice to meet you, Carlos. Do you work for my father?”
Amused, he lets out a deep chuckle. Even a simple sound like that had you pressing your legs together, arousal dripping in between. 
“You don’t know who I am?” You shake your head, confused. Should you? He smiles. “That’s okay. We haven’t met before…Though you should get to know me since you’re already here…”
Wait.
“You know,” he leans his head a bit, floppy hair following, “Ollie.”
No, no, no.
“It’s so nice to finally meet my fiancée’s sister.”
Foolishly, you try your best to hide your surprise. How does a man like him end up with a bratty, narcissist, like your sister?
What was so fucking special about her?
Envy fills your veins as you try to show that this hasn’t phased you. Excited cheers echo down the hallway as your father runs over, embracing you into a warm hug. You’re here! Wincing, you lean into his touch, eyes still trained on the magnetic man. 
Only then, did Ollie fly down the stairs, immediately running into Carlos’ arms. Making a big deal out of it, she kisses him as she runs her hands against his chest. 
“Come here, tesoro. I’ll show you where you’ll be staying.”
The entire time; Carlos kept his eyes trained on you. 
-
It didn’t make sense. Part of you knows it never will. You’ve only just met him, but you can tell he must’ve been fucked in the head to willingly choose someone like Ollie. Sure, she seemed sweet and kind, but she was anything but that. 
Dinner that night is carbonara. Carlos is extremely talented. He cooked this just for you. Tight lipped, you thank him, looking down at your plate to avoid his burning gaze. 
“How’s school?”
Turning to your father, you remind yourself that you were here for him; because he wanted you there. That’s all that should matter. “Very good. Thank you for asking, papi.”
The sound of glass hitting the table erupts as Carlos hurriedly goes to pick it up, quickly murmuring a strong apology. His dark gaze shortly flickers past you. It leaves you squirming. 
Clearing his throat, he takes a sip of his wine. “Where do you study?” Spain, you tell him as he beams. “No way. I was born and raised in Madrid. Moved to Italy a few years ago for work.” Letting out a laugh, you find the coincidence funny. He moved from Spain to Italy and you moved from Italy to Spain. 
“What do you do for work?”
“He’s a Formula 1 driver. Drives for Scuderia Ferrari,” Ollie weasels in as she smirks down on you. Anger bubbles inside of her when your attention remains on the Spaniard. Drumming your fingers against the table, you lick your lips. Formula 1? He’s about to explain it all up until Ollie butts in once again. She rubs his hand, a glistening ring shining right in front of you. You physically have to force yourself to look away. “Oh, amor, she doesn’t know what that is. She’s too…young.” 
You know she’s trying to make a weak point: you’re only a baby, therefore, you don’t compare to her. And yes, you are young, 19, but it was stupid of her to think that it bothered you. You tsk before leaning back against your chair. 
“Of course, my mistake. I forgot I was still a pure flower instead of a wilting one.”
Ollie’s face switches to bright red as she grips onto his hand. An entertained smile slips onto his lips before flattening back out. He rubs her hand, trying to calm her down. You can’t stop the jealousy burning from within.
“I didn’t mean you, Mr. Sainz.”
The 29 year old brushed you as if nothing, a smile displayed. Eyeing you both, Ollie suddenly stands up, chair screeching. Why don’t you help me bring out the cookies I baked? Ever so gracefully, you nod. Following after her, you stop suddenly as she spins, hair slapping her face. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing here? Are you here to ruin my life with your existence?”
“I might.”
Her left eye twitches as she growls angrily. If she didn’t make it this easy to tick her off, then you’d be bored, but luckily for you, it was unchallenging to get under her skin. “This is my wedding; my future husband - so don’t fuck that up like everything else you’ve ever done.”
You try to pretend as if her words didn’t affect you as you stare back blankly. Marching over to the counter, she opens up a box of cookies before sliding them onto a polished dish, leaving you standing there alone.
-
You thank the higher Gods for not letting you cross roads with Ollie for the next few days. Though, you’re a bit bummed out that you haven’t seen Carlos much either. Peeking out the window, you could see the way a group of workers hurried to set up for the joint bachelorette taking place later that night, right on the beach. The waves look magnificent, so without a second thought, you slip on a bikini before rushing out the door with your necessities. 
Lathering a goop of coconut sunscreen, you hum softly to yourself. Weren’t you going out with your sister? Looking up, you see Carlos standing in front of you with his face slightly scrunched up from the bright sun. His cheeks looked as if they’d just been pinched. “Where to?”
He takes a seat next to you. “She said she was going out to go buy a few flowers for later. Said she would invite you.” You shake your head, already bored with the idea.
“You know her,” you tap your head, “Forgetful.”
He cocks his head to the side as he shuts his right eye for a moment. “You two don’t get along, do you?” You try making up a silly excuse. Of course we do. We’re sisters. But he’s looking right into your orbs as if he sees right past your weak attempts. “You’re right. I could be wrong.”
It stays quiet for a while - only the soft breeze being heard. You can see him from your peripheral vision; eyes shut as he takes in the moment of peace he hasn’t had since dawn. Long lashes fan his face, freckles scattered all over. 
“Aren’t you too busy to be talking to me?”
“No. Plus, I should take time to get to know my future sister-in-law. Especially since I don't know anything about her even after dating her sister for 7 years.”
7 years.
Squinting at the waves, you slide your sunglasses on. “There’s not much to know, but I can try. I’m 19 years old, studying abroad in Spain, and grew up in Italy. I love the ocean, love a nice cup of hot chocolate - even though I’m allergic - so I only allow myself small sips during the winter. I like to pretend I know how to dance and I kill it in karaoke.” He laughs. You can’t dance? “Unfortunately, I can’t. Once, during my friend's wedding reception, I twirled right into her cake. I spent the entire day on supervision.”
“Dios mío…Remind me to watch out for you on our wedding day.”
Our wedding day. His words slightly sting as you pinch your nose swiftly. Standing up, you brush beads of sand off your legs. Your eyes roam the area before you find your father waving you over. “I should go,” you say as you look down at him. His brown eyes scan you before nodding and standing up. He, too, looks over to where your father waits to introduce you to a group of businessmen. He frowns and that's when you realize just how revealing your bikini might have been, only it's too late now.
“Papi always taught us to greet our elders.”
He clenches his jaw, eyes closing for a second. When his gaze meets yours, you almost choke with how dark and twisted it’s become. “Aren’t you too old to be calling him that?” Confused, you tilt your head.
“Calling him wh- Papi?”
He grinds his teeth together - and then just like that - he’s smiling again. 
“Forget it. How would I know?”
-
Standing next to an empty table, you watch as Carlos and your sister dance along with everyone else. This party has allowed you to pick up on the fact that they seemed to be a much more important couple than you had anticipated. Everyone looked at the Spaniard as if he were a God himself - and being quite truthful - you would agree. There was nothing about him that wasn’t flawless. 
Then, Ollie, just looked like any other person. Her eyes were bright, but any time anyone would walk up to him, her stare would become threatening. As if she was his owner and no one else could get close enough to breathe the same air.
Everyone here was older; that much you could tell. Attendees were accompanied by girlfriends or fiancée’s of their own. It made you feel a bit childish, since you clearly were the youngest one there. Reaching out for your margarita, you twirl the straw.
“Not having fun?”
Your attention directs itself to a dirty, blondish, brunette. He looks a bit tipsy, face flushed as he smiles sweetly. He’s tall, handsome. But not as much as Carlos.
“Max,” he introduces himself. Politely, you shake his hand. He points to the large group that dances on the sand. He lets out a croaky laugh. “They could get a bit much sometimes.” You laugh, nodding along with him. He continues talking to you. Brings up how he knows Carlos from driving with him; except he’s signed to Red Bull.
“Everyone here is invited only if they're a driver, huh?” It’s a lame joke, but he laughs and throws his head back as if it were the most fascinating thing he’s heard all night. 
“It’s a small circle, but I promise, they're all nice lads.” Discreetly, he takes in your appearance. The way your black dress dances with the wind. Painted red nails glistening under the golden lights. 
You were beautiful. Tragically, beautiful.
“You know the groom or the bride?”
“Bride.”
He nods, taking a sip of the beer bottle he had been nursing. You both continue your conversation for a while longer. He’s Dutch. Recently 26. You mention your headache before he brushes his fingers against your hand. Looking down, he pulls away before clearing his throat. He apologizes and asks if you would like to dance. A soft melody now plays and you find yourself taking his hand. It's big as yours disappears into it.
Almost as if he’s shy, he carefully slides his hands down to your waist. You giggle as you throw yours over his shoulders. “I hope slowing down helps get rid of your migraine. Sucks. I get lots of those during race weekends.” 
“It is. Thank you for caring.”
He’s sweet. You can tell with the way he blushes when you mention the way you like his dimples. Slowly, you find yourself enjoying his company. You’re in the middle of laughing at some stupid joke he just told, when someone rudely clears their throat. Carlos’ smile appears bitter as he shakes his head.
“I’m sorry - I’ve probably killed the mood.”
“No problem, mate. We were just talking.”
He clicks his tongue before turning to you. Under his scrutiny, you feel as if you’ve just been caught smoking weed for the first time. Dazed, you hum, waiting for him to say something. You know it’s not your place to feel as if he owes you an apology, but you can’t help it. 
“Ollie said it’s best if you went to bed.” You let out a sarcastic laugh. Since when does she care if I get a good night's rest? He huffs before running a hand through his hair. “She - she…Just do as you’re told, please.”
Now you’re bothered. Up until that point, you were actually having a good time. Dumbfounded, you turn to Max as he smiles understandingly. Pursing your lips, you apologize. Tippy toeing, you lean up to press a kiss against his stubble. He smiles.
“See you around?”
“See you around, Maxie.”
Walking into the lonely house, you let out a sigh as you pour yourself a cup of water. The summer heat had completely dehydrated you. You could still hear the soft beat playing from outside as you sway in the kitchen. You were upset - angry - that your sister had cut your night short. And any other time you would have put up a good fight, but thought it’d be best to not make a fool out of yourself. Especially in front of people you barely knew.
The door sliding open has you alert as you look up. Carlos silently makes his way in as he groans with exhaustion. Loopy eyes match yours as he clears his throat awkwardly. “So…What were you talking about with Max?”
“Nothing that should concern you.”
His jaw clenches, a large hand running along it. Stepping closer, he takes your cup of water before chugging it down. It leaves you hot and bothered just how close he is. It’s a mixture of salt and musk, his scent. It makes your head spin. Lazily, he takes a step back before nodding.
“Right. Have a good night.”
-
Carlos knew he had messed up. He had no right lying and saying Ollie had ordered for you to go to bed. That was completely him. It’s just that - seeing you with Max, laughing, smiling, made him seethe - when he knows damn well that he shouldn’t. It wasn’t like he was your boyfriend, after all. 
So, he was embarrassed. He kept his distance. In his head it made sense. If you weren’t near then he wouldn’t feel the need to keep his eyes on you all the time. The house felt lonelier, colder without you sliding down the hallways. Rightfully so, you had spent your days locked up in your room. The only person that made happy was Ollie.
Either way, maybe it was for the best. He had a ton of shit to do. Starting with changing their honeymoon destination for what seemed like the millionth time that month. First, it was the Maldives, then Cancún - God - he knew that in a few hours his fiancée would come up with a new place. 
“I know, I know we said that, but it’s changed.” He paces the office, stressed. “Can you please just make it fucking happen?”
“Ouch.”
Turning his attention, he sees you peeking at the entrance, phone still pressed up against his ear. Pouting, you enter, sweet aroma filling the room. Excusing himself, he ends the call. “Need anything?” He honestly cared for your response. It had been days without seeing you and he was afraid he blew it before he even had a chance to marry your sister. He told himself it was only because he cared for your relationship with Ollie. But fuck that - he knew not even you both cared that much about each other.
Shaking your head, you walk closer. “You sounded mean. Not a nice look on you, Mr. Sainz.” You’re teasing. You had to be. 
“That wasn’t mean. It's called being straight forward.”
Ignoring him, you curiously eye the dark office. Books, trophies, helmets. Letting out a snort, you pick up the nearest picture frame. In it, it’s Carlos and Ollie, smiling wide. Tears brim her eyes as he looks down at her. The sight makes you want to puke. 
“When was this taken?”
“The day of our engagement.”
You hum, already setting it back down. You can’t help but picture the impossible. That in the picture it was you instead of her, that you wore that diamond ring, that he looked at you. 
Fuck her, honestly. 
“Why’d you propose?”
He’s thrown off by your question. He’s expecting you to bring up the fact that it was a joke, but when you looked back for a response, he found himself with a dry mouth. Because I love her?
“Jesus,” you shudder, taking a seat on top of his desk. His eyes wander down your tan legs as you rest them on top of his chair. You're playing mind games - he’s well aware -  and still he found himself following them. You were the worst temptation out there. It’s as if you knew the power you held. “I bet fucking her is a chore.”
Shocked at your words, he finds himself dumbstruck. He knew you two didn’t get along, but what the fuck happened for you to aim such insults? 
He knows Ollie. Sure, she was a bit much at times, but she was nice. She was pretty. There was no need for your vile words. 
You can tell he’s about to get defensive about her and that makes you shrink. Willing, you had handed him a reason to choose her over you. 
Looking back at the picture, you purse your lips. “Sorry. That wasn't the right thing to say.”
“You should leave.”
You’re embarrassed over him kicking you out, but you knew you had crossed the line. So much for a peaceful afternoon. You comply, jumping off the desk. Not before making your way over, pressing your soft lips against his neck, which was the only place you could reach, even after tippy toeing. You felt him get stiff. 
“Excuse my manners, Carlos.”
Skipping out the door, he’s left with a single thought. 
He’s fucked. 
-
The next morning, you’re forced to spend the day with your sister. Whether it was for running errands, fighting; it didn’t matter. As long as you made your father happy. All he wanted was for his girls to get along. 
“Go,” Ollie growls as she hands you your bridesmaid dress. Snatching it from her, you slowly climb up the stairs to your room. 
It’s a beautiful dress. Strong, dark, cherry red. Just like blood. It hugs your curves the way you’ve always thought all dresses should. For that reason, too, it made you look…older. Trying your best to get rid of the wrinkles, you smooth it down before making your way back. 
Papi loves it as he starts throwing out compliments. You look beautiful, tesoro! You are a true gem. His eyes are bright and proud as you stand there with a shy smile. And though you thanked him, nothing else mattered but the man right in front of you. 
The Spaniard had just gotten back from a meeting. He was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to eat and sleep the rest of the day, but as soon as he saw a balsé Ollie and an eager father-in-law, he was interested. She had told him to go relax; practically pushing him away. But as soon as you walked down those stairs, he swore his heart had never melted with such a sight. 
His eyes became fixated to the point of no return. You stand there like a divine temptress. A siren who was mixed with innocence. Enough to drool over, but also, to adore from afar. Someone he could worship. If God decided this were his last day on Earth, then he would happily follow, since he finally felt as if his life were complete. 
His big brown eyes are glued onto you as your father spins you. Ollie’s attention flickers between her younger sister and her fiancé. Tears fill up her eyes as she springs off the couch. You’re not bothered by it; don’t even bat an eye. That is until Carlos quickly runs off after her. That was a slap to the face as you show off a wounded smile to your father who stands there lost at the sudden commotion. 
Later on that day, you find yourself trying to forget it all with watered down tequila. That’s really all you could find in such short notice. Leaning against the balcony, you study the soft waves, cold wind causing your skin to flash small goosebumps. 
“Disgusting,” you mumble as you finish the rest of the alcoholic drink. Who knew a simple encounter would set you off?
“Woah there. Are you okay?”
Max cautiously steps closer as you shrug with a sigh. What was there to say? I’m a horrible person. I’m a horrible sister. And yes, we might not get along, but never in a million years did I think I would be falling in love with my future brother-in-law. 
“What are you doing up so late?”
Sheepishly, he raises his cigarette. Letting out a low hum, you raise a brow. “Can I have one?” He knows he shouldn't be the one to give a teenager a form of drug, but you looked so upset, so drained, that he felt as if you needed it. Lighting it up, you bring it up to your lips as you squint at him. He laughs. 
“First time?”
“No. It’s just been a while.”
You’re still not looking at him, but he notices the way you let out shaky breaths. The way you softly pinch your forearm. He frowns. 
“I know we only just met, but do you want to talk about it?”
And maybe it was the gist of the moment. Or that he was being sweet - showing that he cared, but it worked because next thing you knew, you were kissing. He lets out an erotic moan with the taste of your lips. All a mix of cigarettes and tequila. This is wrong. He was friends with Carlos and you were only doing this in a moment of weakness, but you just couldn’t stop. Neither could he. Not when you tasted like a thousand crimes. 
His large hands grab your ass as you gasp, brushing against his cock. He hissed as he pressed his lips much harder. Surely, you will have bruises tomorrow. Adrenaline rushes through your veins as you grind against him. Clumsily, you both make your way to the couch that’s nearby. Straddling him, you continue to dry humping. Slowly, but surely, the warm sensation between your legs starts to form. Panting, you pull away as he tries to angle his face closer to yours. You smile tauntingly. 
“You know what you remind me of?”
You hum, leisurely picking up your filthy actions. He bites back a smile as he grips harder onto your hips. 
“A Lolita.”
A menacing smile looks down at him before you kiss down his thick neck, soft bites being left behind. You can’t recall the moment you start bouncing on his cock, or when he sprawls you open like a map, kneeling down in front of you. It’s all a haze; a delicious one, too. You’re falling like a feather from your climax when you hear a thud. Did you hear that? No, he would mumble as he peppers kisses onto your soft skin. 
The tides are crashing harder now, signaling that the night was growing older. Timidly, you share a goodbye as you start to skip your way back into your room, but one last thing caught your attention.
A broken flower pot on its side and dirt trailing into the Italian home. 
-
More days had passed since your last encounter with the devilish Spaniard. If you were ever in the same room, he wouldn’t even glance at you. He would simply just walk past by. He was mad. Upset about something. You tried to think of what it might’ve been, but when he walked into his office with an infuriated expression, you decided it was time to call a truce. 
Knocking, you flinch at his sharp tone when he commands you away. Ignoring it, you still step in. Head thrown against his chair, man spreading, he has his eyes screwed shut.
“Are you okay?”
Your tone is sticky like honey. It annoys him the way it strings him in. Drumming his finger against the large chair, he angles his head to look at you. You’re almost scared to ask again, so you decide to stand still until he speaks up. 
“Why’d you do it?”
Puzzled, you purse your lips, waiting for further explanation. What was he talking about? Did you do something to make him upset? The thought alone made you feel queasy. When he notices you still don’t understand, he clicks his tongue. 
“Why would you fuck a friend of mine?”
Oh. Was it possible that this was something he was jealous of? Bewildered, you know you can’t deny it so you start to word-vomit. I am so sorry, Carlos. He came onto me that night - he kissed me first. I was confused. I was lured in by his words. I didn’t know what I was doing-
His eyes soften up as you try your best to break it down. But you were a liar; a good one. You knew damn well it was all you. You had kissed him first. You threw him under the bus and you knew that. Did he deserve it? No. Of course not. But you couldn't handle the Spaniard being mad at you.
He signals for you to get closer. Securely, he grasps your hand and hauls you onto his lap. It’s embarrassing how wet you’ve suddenly become; how your mind replicates a plate of jello. 
“I’m sorry he made you feel like that.”
His rough fingers slide up and down your arms and even that leaves you buzzing. Suddenly, you feel feeble. You assure him that you were fine - that it was no big deal. The way he looks at you is what gives you the confidence to lean in closer. A trace of panic slashes his face for a second. He should probably stop this before anything else happens. There was nothing okay about your ass pressed up against him. Or him craving to taste your plump lips. 
“He didn’t make me feel anything I haven't before.”
Your implication irks him far too much, he starts to consider this all an unhealthy encounter. He can’t stop the images of you being with other men. Someone else kissing you, pleasuring you. Whilst your words were suggestive, your features were anything but that. Wide eyes stare back at him, slightly crinkled. Moving your body, you scoot closer as if you weren't already. He growls as he pinches your hip. Then, you're kissing his neck, and he should be pushing you off, but he’s too far gone to pick up on how wrong this all was. I’m sorry I’ve upset you, Mr. Sainz. I didn’t think you would care who fucked me or not.
“I-I don’t. It’s just that you shouldn't be doing stuff like that. You’re too young for all that.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” You narrow your eyes. “I’m wiser than one might think. I’m mature enough to know who can and can’t fuck me the way I like.” Your gaze focuses extra hard with your confession. As if it were meant for him.
Pressing your ass one last time against his tight pants, you leap off, giggling. 
“Take care, Carlos.”
-
It's a business dinner, your father fills you in as you sit nearby, enjoying a bowl of ice cream, hairollers dangling around your head. Pouting, you reach up to clip one back into place. He smiles.
“You know, lots of young, talented guys are going to be here. It could be a great opportunity to meet someone.”
You make a face at his idea. “Yeah. No, thank you.” Marching over to him, you gently pat his cheek. “I’m not here to meet anyone.”
Signhing, he grabs your hands. “Can I ask you something?” 
“Sure.”
“Are you and Carlos…” Choking on your own saliva, you push away. What? No. Of course not! Why would you even think that? He lets out a breath of relief. “It’s nothing. Ollie just brought it up, but I told her you would never actually do something like that. I know my precious girl.”
The door creaks open as Satan herself walks in, followed by an Angel. First thing you noticed are their intertwined hands. Ollie tries to be coy as she flashes the action right in front of you. She mainly greets your father as she sticks by Carlos like a piece of gum. Hello, he would say to you as you bite back a smile.
“What are we talking about?”
“Your sister might have a boyfriend by the end of the night, that's what,” your father jokes as you slap his shoulder. Boyfriend? The Spaniard’s eyes burn you, subtle threat evident. Ollie fakes a smile as she tugs him back a bit.
“Wow. You know what? That might actually be a good idea. Could help with how uptight you are. But I’m confused, boyfriend as in Max?”
Fury fills you as you shoot daggers right at her. Ollie’s eyes twinkle with satisfaction. You’re dating Max? “Of course not, papi! Ollie is just being a bitch.”
“No, no, no - I don’t think telling the truth is being a bitch. You should be happy, baby sister! You sure sounded like it when you let him fuck you out in the balcony.”
Shocked at her words, you can’t bring yourself to look at your father who stands disappointed. Ollie, that's enough, Carlos warns as he squeezes her hand. She yanks it away, jewelry clinging against each other. 
“My bad. Shit, I forgot. I forgot no one knew what a slut you are. Opening your legs for any man around you. We’re lucky you’re not attracted to your own father.” She lets out a sour laugh. “Now, that would be fucked up.”
“That’s low, Ollie,” you spit, skin feeling as if it's on fire. You know where all this pent up anger is coming from, but she had no right to make up shit for fun. What kind of sister does that? Embarrassed, your eyes flicker to where Carlos stands with a hopeless expression. Licking your lips, you force yourself to walk away.
Slamming the door shut, you let out a loud scream. Why? Why was she always like this to you? A hard knock is what makes you wipe your tears away. Ollie slithers her way in. It hurt you how proud she looked. As if she had achieved something spectacular. 
“The fuck - Are you crying?”
“What do you want?”
She takes a seat on your desk as she dusts off imaginary lint. “I just want to talk. The way sisters do.”
Ricocheting off the bed, you march over to her as you glare. “Sisters? No. You’re nothing of mine.” Ollie yawns as she rubs her eyes. Then, she clears her throat.
“Do you want to know why I hate you? You’re so stupid you probably don’t even know, but don’t worry - that’s what older sisters are for. I’ll explain it to you. Do you remember, Romeo?”
You do. It hits you all at once; the memories of the first man you ever slept with. He was nice - kind enough to teach you what a man likes. He had jet black hair, a smirk always lingering on his lips. He was tall and a local from where you grew up. He was the perfect experience. 
But that still didn’t make any sense. What did he have to do with Ollie?
She lets out a wet laugh. Already, you can see her own tears as she tries to quickly wipe them away. 
“I loved you; I did. You were my sister before my enemy. But I also loved him. He was my first love. Promised me a home high up in the hills. But do you know what it feels like to see someone you love fuck your little sister against a wall?”
We probably shouldn’t-
Don’t worry. I’ve got you. No ones going to see us. Men love a good thrill.
“You and him…”
She licks her chapped lips. “We had barely started dating.” 
“I didn’t know - I swear to God, I didn’t know!”
If you had, you never would’ve looked his way. Ollie was everything to you growing up. You admired her. Loved her. That’s why it broke you when she started pushing you away as if you were some disease. Later, when your parents got a divorce, she didn’t second guess it when she made the decision to stay behind; causing you to leave with your mother. She never cared for you after that and you never knew why.
But now you did.
“I was young…Younger than I am now, how was I supposed to know?”
“Well, I’m glad we agree on something. You truly don’t know anything.” Strolling over to you, she smiles at your desperate state. “Which is why I’m not making the same mistake twice. Stay away from my husband.”
-
Ollie’s words felt as if they had opened up past scars. You meant what you said. Romeo would have been someone you would have disregarded if you had known the truth. But like always, you were the one with the entire blame and that you didn’t like.
Despite wearing a pretty dress - one that everyone gawked at you for - you felt ugly. Has it always been this way? Maybe it did make sense as to why she despised you. Playing with your bracelets, you try to pretend you’re interested in meeting your fathers investors. You feel completely exposed when they all stare straight at your chest area.
“How are we all doing?”
They all look up at the Spanirad as they start spitting out their congratulations for his upcoming wedding. He thanks them before checking up on you. His eyes connect with yours. Butterflies swirl inside your stomach as you smile weakly. He’s the first one to truly talk to you that night. To show he cares about your wellbeing rather than the way your dress fits you. Though, you looked stunning as always. Excusing yourself, you make your way into the kitchen, looking for something stronger.
Serving yourself a shot of vodka, you throw your head back, burning sensation sliding down your throat. Coughing, you grip onto the counter. Soft moans whisper in between the walls. You stop breathing for a minute as you try your best to identify where it might be coming from. Striding closer, you press your ear against the closet door. Fuck, a mans voice groans. This is not something you should intervene with, it's not your right, but that all changes when you hear a name that makes you burn all over again. So fucking tight, Ollie.
Pushing the door open, you see your sister banging one of your fathers investors. Ben, you think his name is. Honestly, you could care less. Briskly, she pushes her gown back down as he zips his pants. You let out a cold laugh as you clap in amusement.
“Oh, God. This is great. Amazing. You really outdid yourself, Ol.”
Stepping forwards, she grabs your arm harshly as she tugs you out. “How much did you see?”
You purse your lips as you theatrically scrunch your face up in pleasure. “Oh, Ben! Fuck me! Oh, oh, yes, baby, right there!” You bow. “That much.”
“How old are you, sweetheart?” The brunette says as he scans your body. Ollie glares at him as he steps back.
“Not a word of this to Carlos.”
“Why would I keep this a secret? He deserves to know. What do you think, Benny?”
Panicked, the older man shakes his head as his eyes plead for mercy. That’s enough. Raising your hands up in defense, you grin back at Ollie. “You’re not mentioning anything if you know what's good for you.”
“Oh, yeah?” You tilt your head back. “And what’s good for me?”
“If you tell him anything of what you just heard - saw - then I’ll just tell him how you’ve been bending over for every man in this house. Charles, Lando, Lewis, Pierre…you name it.”
“He won’t believe you…”
She laughs sinisterly. “No, I think he will. I mean…You’ve already done it before.”
“Hey,” his soft voice enters the room as you turn to look at him. The Spaniard’s eyes dance between you and your sister and Ben. “Is something wrong?”
Ollie shakes her head with a bright smile as she walks up and kisses him. You flinch. “Nothing, amor. We were just talking.” She runs her hands through his hair as his eyes remain on you. 
“Are you okay?” 
Nodding, you grind your teeth together. “Yes. Ollie was just introducing me to Ben.” Awkwardly, the man waves from behind you. Slowly, Carlos nods.
“Papi asked me to introduce them. You know - with the whole ‘boyfriend’ thing!”
“He was serious about tha- Oh. Okay.” He reaches down to take your sister's hand as he eyes you and Ben. “We should probably leave you two alone then.”
Hastily, you nod. “Sure.”
-
If you were willing to try and fix your relationship with Ollie before, then that was long gone. This is what you knew her for. A pretender. She wistfully makes everyone believe she’s some sort of saint, when really, she’s a wolf in sheep's clothing. She’s a hypocrite. She has a man that everyone desires and she does this? 
You hated her.
You hated seeing the way she beams when Carlos’ mother gives her a necklace that belonged to her own mother. She didn’t deserve it. Or the way his sisters helped her slip in and out of her dress, making sure it's perfect for the big day.
Still, you try your best to be a supportive sister. Especially around the woman who raised a man like Carlos. Biting down on your lip, you take a sip of your champagne as Ollie disappears behind the curtains with the lady who is taking some last minute measurements. Reyes smiles warmly.
“We didn’t know Ollie had a younger sister.”
You smile. “Best well kept secret, right?” The older lady laughs. Your heart warms up as you notice it's the same way Carlos does. Ana and Blanca grin.
“Well, we’re glad to finally get to know you. Might I add, you’re beautiful. Those eyes!”
“Thank you,” you blush.
Ana takes a sip of her drink before clicking her fingers. “That’s what you remind me of! You - Carlos - almost have the same puppy eyes!” She turns to her mother. “Mamá! What’s that saying? Soulmates look alike…Something like that, no?”
“Be quiet, Ani,” Blanca hisses before smiling apologetically. “Excuse her - she can be a bit invasive.”
“No problem,” you reassure as you bite back a smile. Ana frowns.
“Lo siento, I don’t mean to come off as overbearing. It’s just that you do…”
Reyes clears her throat as she winks over at her daughter. “Don’t misunderstand us, please. We love Ollie, we do! It’s just…you’re different.” She examines you. “I like you.”
Their words stick with you like a post it. Do soulmates look alike? Playing with the sand, you circle your finger agonizingly slow. Why did their words matter so much to you?
“I always find you alone.”
You stick your tongue out at Carlos as he chuckles at your childish behavior. You pat the sand, inviting him to join you. What are you doing out here? You point at the ocean. “I told you it was my favorite place.” 
“Ah. I see.” 
You sneak in a quick look before looking straight ahead. “Nervous?”
“About?”
“Marrying a monster.”
He gives you a deadpan look, bumping his shoulder to yours. “She’s not that bad, you know.” He glances at you. “Ollie has been there for me through so much. Through my failures. Through my accomplishments. She’s the one who convinced me not to quit racing.”
“You were thinking of quitting?”
He nods. “It’s not as easy as it looks. It fucks you up mentally. But she…” He smiles. “She helped me overcome that. I thank her everyday for it.”
It’s a bittersweet feeling hearing him talk about her like that. On one hand, you’re thankful that she had made him realize that he should carry on doing what he loved. On the other, you knew her true reasons. She loved having a famous fiancé; someone she can brag out to the rest of the world.
Somewhere, far away, you hear a melody. It’s low enough that if you didn’t pay close attention, you wouldn’t catch on to it, but you did. You grab his hand, leading him to stand up. He quirks a full brow. 
“Want to dance?”
“I thought you said you didn’t know how to.”
“Nice memory, old man.” You gently kick some sand towards him. “But I feel like dancing. Plus, you should be practicing.”
Tugging you closer, he hums. “Alright. Only because that's true.”
His hands feel warm against you - so much so - it feels as if he’s on fire. An ease comes to it, too, as you both sway under the moonlight. You giggle when he spins you, dress flying around you like petals. The way you grin makes his heart speed up in a way he’s never felt before. It’s alarming. He pinches your hip as you yelp.
“Mentirosa.”
“Wha- No, I’m not! Can’t dance to save my life.” Clumsily, you dig your toes into the sand. He winces playfully. 
The air grows heavy the moment he brushes your hair behind your ear. Your eyes flutter shut as you lean against his warm hand. One look, and he’s hooked. It’s meant to be something lighthearted, but the way he wishes to feel your soft lips against his indicates that it’s not. He’s tried his best to see you for what you are; his fiancée’s little sister. Someone he shouldn’t find himself caring if they slept well, ate their three meals a day, or that they didn’t talk to any other man that wasn’t him or your father. This was sick and twisted and yet…
His lips meet yours as your eyes spring open for a nanosecond before letting yourself go under. It feels as if you’re exploding like firecrackers on a Fourth of July. Something about the way he cradles your face endearingly has your head spinning. Knees become weak, but his grip is secure. It’s better than you could have ever imagined. His tongue fights for dominance and when you don’t give it to him, he squeezes your ass. Moaning, you open your mouth and that's all it took. He kisses you the way you’ve seen in movies - only better. He’s hungry - desperate - for you as you smile against him. Biting down on his bottom lip, he groans as he kisses you harder than before. You were beginning to think your lips were about to snap. 
Letting go, he stands there, staggered. He’s ashamed when he realizes that he regrets nothing. You both stay quiet; only waves crashing and heavy pants being heard. At first you think he’s going to apologize, and maybe that might have been the case, but no words would come out. Pressing a peck against his swollen lips, you smile.
“Goodnight, Carlos.”
-
Carlos rues the day that he kissed you because that only made things more complicated. He couldn’t find a way to not look for you when he walks into the garden, full of family and friends. Or the way he would want to punch Max when he made you laugh. But there is also something sweet. Like the way you would gossip with his sisters and share stories with his parents. He had never seen them laugh and smile so much, not even with Ollie. 
He flinches at the cold hand that wraps around his own. Faking a smile, he presses a soft kiss on top of his fiancée’s head. Continuing the clicking against her glass, she smiles widely. 
“Grazie a tutti per esservi uniti a noi!”
Everyone claps and a few of the drivers whistle. Rolling your eyes, you lean your head against your father’s shoulder. His heart skips a beat. Ollie continued her speech filled with thank you’s, thank you’s and more thank you’s. Your father kissed your cheek before making his way up to his eldest. Taking the microphone from Ollie, he starts to share warm felt memories about her. You have to admit, you’re jealous about their bond. Somewhere in the past, that had been viciously stolen from you. He notices the way you shrink with sadness and he finds himself about to walk over to you when Ollie laughs awkwardly. Amor. It’s your turn.
“Right.” Fixing his rolled up sleeves, he smiles at the crowd of guests. “Uh…Well like my fiancée said, we’re extremely happy to have you all here. It takes a lot to get this many people out here all at once.” A few laughs echo as he continues. “This means a lot to me, too, to have my friends and family. To have met new faces.” His gaze flickers past you as your breath hitches. “Many ask me what about Ollie made me fall in love with her…And I’m here to be as brutally honest as I could get. I love the way she makes me feel as crazy as the ocean. I could spend calm days with her and not worry about getting bored. Or I could find myself getting into trouble. Ollie has made me a better man. Because of her I know what true love is…” His loopy eyes meet yours. “True love are the waves that meet the shore.” 
He lets out a sheepish smile. I want love like that, Lando yells out as he downs his glass of milk. Everyone claps and cheers and that’s where your nightmare begins. 
Let’s give it up for the happy couple! Kiss, kiss, kiss!
The chants continue as Carlos let out a nervous laugh. That’s something private between me and her, he tries but finds himself being booed. Leaning down, he pulls Ollie in for a peck before pulling away with a tight lipped smile. He hates himself for his sudden realization.
Kissing her suddenly did feel like a chore.
With all the whoops and whistles being thrown out by friends, he finds himself trying to find you. It doesn’t take long as he notices you had picked up on your conversation with the Dutchman. His jaw clenches. 
“Maybe Ollie’s younger sister would like to share a few words.”
Why would he say that? Frozen, you choke mid sip. Me? Your father beams as he nods excitedly. Oh! That’s such a great idea! Unfamiliar faces turn to look at you as they wait. Taking in a deep breath, you nod as you make your way over.
As he hands you the microphone, he can’t stop himself from grazing his fingers against your hand. Coughing, you yank it fast. 
“Ciao a tutti.” Everyone greets you back as you lick your lips. You take a moment to figure out what to say, but there’s not much. Cringing, you try to come up with anything. “As some may know, I’m Ollie’s sister…And I could go on forever about how great she is-” You suppress a sarcastic laugh as Carlos knowingly winks. Your nerves ease up. “But I think I should talk about the man who makes my sister the happiest. Carlos Sainz…When I first met you, you seemed uptight - more than the Grinch - but slowly I got to know the man that even my papi swoons over.” 
True, your father laughs. “You’re kind, respectful, and charming…Ollie is one very lucky girl. But there’s something also sensitive inside of you…Despite the permanent frown on your face, you still seem to like days by the ocean. Maybe it's a reminder that peace still exists or maybe it's the way…” Looking up, you see everyone staring deeply. Suddenly, you feel like this might be oversharing as you twirl your dress. “...Or maybe it's the way your face lights up when you take my sister dancing on the sand. Uh…Thank you for making her happy.” Handing the mic back to Carlos, you smile weakly at the strong claps. 
“That was quite sentimental,” Max points out as you bite down on your finger. Was it too much? He shakes his head. “Don’t worry. It looks like you and Carlos get along well enough. I, for sure, thought he hated you with the way he looks at you.”
“Oh. Yeah.” You pause. “I thought so, too.”
-
Aside from the fact that the wedding was approaching quickly, the mansion was quiet. The silence can almost be heard; it's scary. Carefully, you fix your dress as you skip down the stairs barefoot, lollipop painting your lips red. 
Peeking around the corner, giddiness fills your body as you snatch a handful of pre-washed cherries. Earlier that day, your father had scolded you for finishing the new batch. Popping them into your mouth, you hum a song as you kick your legs against the kitchen counter. It creeps you out the moment a chill runs down your spine. As if someone were watching.
“Boo!”
“Santa mierda,” you yelp as you clutch your heart. Laughing loudly, the Spaniard bends over as he gasps for air. You pout and kick his knee. “Cabrón, you scared me! Warn a girl!”
“Fuck - I’m sorry.” His lips form a thin line as he stands firm. Slowly, the corners lift up, wobbly at his poor attempt to not burst out laughing. You frown.
“You’re fucked up.”
Again, his laughs echo the dimly lit kitchen. “Can I have some?”
“No. They’re mine. Grab your own.”
He narrows his eyes. “Aren’t you on cherry prohibition or something like that?” You gasp as you look around before flipping him off.
“Keep your voice low or papi will disown me!”
He zips his lips as he whispers. “I won’t tell a soul. But I want one of those in exchange.”
Tapping your finger against your lip, you pretend to think about it before nodding. You extend your hand out, a single red cherry for him. You’re waiting for him to take it and leave to where he came from, but what he does instead has you swallowing a lump down your throat.
Crouching down, he opens his mouth as he picks up the cherry, lips slightly wrapping around your fingers. This was triggering you as you tried your best to keep sane. But there was no way of going about that when he looked up at you with deep, brown eyes. Licking the red juice sliding down your hands, he steps back. He licks his lips before swallowing. It amazes you the way his Adam’s Apple jumps up and down; thick neck begging to be sucked on.
“Fucking delicious.”
Blinking, you look down at the rest of the cherries in hand. All of a sudden they seemed like a sultry fruit rather than a drupe. 
“Wouldn’t you agree?”
“Of cours-s-e.”
Stupefied, you throw the leftovers straight into the trash bin. You had no clue what made you do that. A small chuckle escapes past his lips as you shut your eyes in embarrassment. Maybe they weren’t as sweet as you made them seem. Too mortified to speak, you keep your eyes focused on the way your feet hit the wood as a distraction. It takes all of you to not run away as he steps closer once again.
“Is there something in that dirty little mind of yours?”
The room feels hot all of a sudden as you shake your head. There’s no words in your vocabulary when he stands this close. You can smell his cologne mixed with shampoo. If richness were a scent then this would definitely be it. His hands cage you in like a butterfly behind glass. Clicking his tongue, he steps aside as you let out a shaky breath. Taking the opportunity, you jump off the edge, bare feet slapping against the cold tiles. Cuidado, he mutters when you almost slip from the sudden action. 
“If you need anything I’ll be upstairs.”
Not sure why you said that, but it seemed like a rationalized excuse. Por supuesto. And that would have been the end of your night. That would have been another successful day of not falling for the forbidden apple. You had held out for so long; the kiss didn’t count. But it only takes a few steps for him to clear his throat. Almost as if this were your secret language, you spin and you find him staring after you; dazzling eyes following your every movement as if he’s trying his best to decipher anything you do.
Smiling wide enough for your eyes to look as if they had a smile of their own, you think - fuck the consequences - as you clumsily run up to him; jumping like a kid onto a tree. Legs wrap around his torso and his hands hold you close to him.
“Do you-”
“Yes,” he whispers. “Since the first day you walked through those doors: yes.”
If you had thought you were obsessed with his kisses before, you were wrong. So very wrong. Because now you were addicted. He kisses you with urgency as you run your hands through his locks, so soft against your fingers. He grunts when you tug on it. 
His kisses were stimulating enough for you to plead for something. Anything. Smirking, he pecks your nose before leading you both upstairs. It amazed you how he could continue kissing you as he hurried to get to the bedroom. Noticing him making his way into his and Ollie’s, you pull away. There’s no way you would let him do that. You spin your finger lazily through his hair.
“How about mine?”
He doesn't care if he fucked you against the floor, he needed you. Kicking the door shut, he throws you onto your bed as you squeal. He smiles fondly as you brush your hair out of your face. He’s had his fair share of girls. Models, nepo-babies, Ollie, but none of them compare to you. 
He was almost scared of touching you again, even though that’s exactly what he wanted. Doe eyes stare back at him as his cock gets harder at the sight. Ollie had always tried her best to look at him that way, but you didn’t even have to try. It naturally happened. Nothing about this felt forced.
You look untouchable. Like a complete goddess waiting to be ruined. Carlos, you would say as you squeeze your tits, eyes struggling to stay open. Carlos, please. Don’t be mean. Towering over you, he shakes his head.
“Linda, I could never be mean to you.”
Slipping your dress off, he groans when he sees you weren’t wearing anything underneath. He shuts his eyes as he tries to not finish inside his pants, which by the way, were starting to hurt. He pinches your nipple before slapping your tits. You hiss. 
“Please tell me you did this for me and no one else…”
“You know it’s always been for you.”
With that, he stands up as he yanks his shirt off; jeans and boxers following right after. A bit worried, you find yourself staring at his rock hard dick. You had never been with some as big as him; it kind of looked as if it would split you right open. That didn’t stop you from wanting it, though.
“Don’t worry. I’ll prepare you nice and good, cariño.”
His lustful tone snaps you out of it as you nod. His fingers rub your wet folds as you cling onto his bicep. C-Carlos. “I know, baby, I know,” he coos as he focuses on the way your face pinches. He slowly starts slipping his finger in as you gasp at the thickness. So big and long. He chuckles. “Oh, come on now. It’s not even fully inside of you yet.”
Stunned, you look down and sure enough, it isn’t. You almost cry out when you notice it’s barely even the tip. “I don’t think it’s going to fit.” He kisses your temple as he slips his finger back out. 
“Let’s start off with something else then.”
You almost pass out when he angles himself in front of your pussy. Glistening clit stares back at him as he moans. So pretty, he thinks as he touches you slowly. He stops himself, though, as he goes in for kitten licks instead. You squirm. His large hands pushed you down against the bed, to keep you in place. 
“Do you want me to make the ache in between your legs go away?”
“Yes.”
His pink tongue teases you as he hums. You bite down sharply. “You’re going to have to stay still. Relax, bonita.” Following instructions, you close your eyes, trying your best to not think of the handsome Spaniard. As if that were possible. Impressed, he leans in again as he licks you, picking up your pre-cum. Oh, fuck. 
Then it’s almost as if Carlos is taken over by something as he dives in like some animal. His stubble burns your legs, but you’re too fucked out to even care. You’re sure you're being loud, but how can you not be when he licks and sticks his tongue inside of you, exploring places you never knew existed. You choke back a moan when he rubs his nose against your clit, only adding to the euphoria. 
“Yes. Oh. Fuck, yes.” Looking down at the brunette, you find him taking in your appearance as he rubs himself against the sheets; a way to try and pleasure himself. And that’s enough for you to cum all over his face. He smiles as he greedily tries to drink up everything you give him. He knows he lost control, but he loves the way you were able to keep up. To take everything he gave you.
And that was only going to multiply.
“You taste so fucking sweet,” he groans in between your legs, picking up the white nectar. Crying out, you push his face away as you gasp for air. He sucks your tits as you take a break. His tongue swirls around your bud as you wiggle against him like a fish that jumped out onto land. He laughs. “Can you handle my fingers, now?”
No, you whisper as you push him away. But he knows you’re giving up too soon. He knows there’s an animal inside of you and he’s just waiting for it to decide to join him. He ignores you as he slides his fingers down to your center. You mewl against him. “Hey, hey, I got you, cariño. I’m right here.” 
His voice makes you clench harder against his fingers as he grins like a kid at a candy store. Slowly, you start dripping more than before, making it easier for his fingers to slide in and out of your hole. Can you handle a third? “Yes,” you respond, eyes still screwed shut. Hot air hits your ear.
“There she is…Good girl. Justo asi.”
Picking up speed, his fingers reach the gummy part inside of you as you scratch his arms in an attempt to remind yourself to not black out. His long fingers cross, doing figure 8’s as he touches your g-spot as if he knows your entire body better than any map. Leaning up, he bites down onto your nipple before sucking hard. You should be embarrassed with the way you squeal and shake against his actions, but he just made it so hard not to. Much to your surprise, if you dare believe it, he does the thing you last expected.
He adds a fourth digit.
“No, no, no,” you pathetically chant as your eyes fly open. He cocks his head to he side as he clicks in tongue as if seeing you struggle filled him with pride. 
“Ah, ah, ah. Just trust me; do you trust me?”
He didn’t need to ask because he knew you did. I do, you whimper out as you start grinding against his fingers. Amazement fills his dark eyes as he looks down to where you clench around him, juices sliding down his arm. It only takes a couple of more swirls before your shriek, velvety walls clenching around him as you reach your climax. 
Bringing his fingers up to his mouth, he licks your cum as if it were a meal he’s dreamed of having his entire life. Your mouth hangs open as you watch him lick them clean. You’re sure he’s going to fuck you now, but that flies out the window as he lays down as he drags you onto his face.
This man had stamina. Lots of it. You're trying to beg for a break of some sort. I can suck your dick. Give you a handjob. Just please let me rest. But he wasn’t even listening. 
Maybe somewhere deep down, he knew this would be the only night he would have you to himself and if that meant no pauses, then he would push all your buttons.
Like a starved man, he starts licking you all over as you grind against his face. The way he sucks on your clit and adds his fingers make you squeal as you push down harder. His nose rubs against you in such a way, it has you seeing stars. He seems to be enjoying that though, as his moans vibrate against you. Biting hard onto your lip, you try to distract yourself as you reach behind you for his rock hard cock. The moment your small hand wraps around him, he growls like a lion.
Smug over his reaction, your hand slowly starts jerking him off as he eats you out with more urgency. It takes all of you to control your actions as he shakes his face in between your legs. S-slow down, Carlos. He grunts as his actions speed up, but so does your hand. Gripping onto his erection much harder, you furrow your brows as you twist your wrist. Choking on your juices, he opens his eyes wide, whimpers flying past his lips.
Smiling down like the devil, you nod as your hand picks up its pace. Now it's his turn to be groaning with pleasure. He seems to have forgotten what he was doing as he takes in strong whiffs of your aroma. You shudder when his warm breaths escape to warm up your dripping pussy.
His cock twitches and he seems to snap right back into it; already diving back into your hole. Lurching forward, you grip onto his hair as the other remains wrapped around him. It’s a game to see who can make the other cum first, and you were not about to be the loser. 
Lively, you circle your thumb around his pink tip as he groans and finishes all around your hand. Sucking hard, he bites gently onto your clit as you screech and trap his head between your thighs. Shaking, you twitch against him as you reach your third orgasm that night. Huffing, you roll off him as he laps his tongue.
The way he looks at you makes you want to ride his face all over again, but you know you needed a break if you didn’t want the night to end so soon. Kneeling in front of him, you raise your ass up high as you lean down to wrap your lips around his cock. He flinches, slightly sensitive, but doesn’t dare push you away. Instead, he rubs your face with his calloused thumb; encouraging you. There's something so hot about the way your lips stretch around his fat cock. The way drool exits your mouth, messy blots of mascaras on the corners of your eyes.
Light of my life. Fire of my loins.
Gagging around him, you squeeze your eyes shut, feet curling up along the way. For sure, your throat would be bruised tomorrow, but you didn’t mind. In fact, you wanted that. Deepthroating him as best as you can, your small hands wrap around the rest of his length. He was huge. Dirty slurps bounce off the walls. You try your best to not pull away when you feel his sticky pre-cum connect inside your throat. Not when he looked so good with his head thrown back. His thick neck is a clear display. With his large hands wrapped around your hair as he fucks your face like theres no tomorrow. Spanish curses flowing past his lips. 
“Que linda. Arrodillada como una santa.”
When you giggle around his erection, he groans, head thudding against the headboard. His mind quickly slips over to Ollie - but not in the way one might expect. It hits him like a truck when he compares her to you. With Ollie, she would last at least 20 minutes before calling it a night. He pretended not to mind - he would never force her to do something she doesn’t want to, of course - but once she would knock out, his large hand would slide down past his boxers, looking for a new release. 
Then there’s you, ever so pretty. It seems like with everything you do, you want more. You sucking him off as if you’ve done this for him a lifetime ago. Sure, you’re struggling, but that only makes him harder. You’re trying to keep up with him and it’s working. Now, it’s like he’s the one trying to keep up. Swallowing, your throat closes around him as he flies forward, voice cracking as he presses for more. 
Glossy eyes look back up at him as you repeat your action. With one last blow, he pulls out as he cums all over your face. His dick immediately gets hard again when you smile wide, fingers going to pick up his mess. Greedily, you pout as you wrap your lips around your finger like the lollipop you had been sucking on a few hours ago.
“Fuck,” he mumbles, abs contracting together as he tries his best to even out his breaths. 
“Will you fuck me now?” 
You’re moving at a snail's pace as you lick his sweaty neck. A chill runs down his spine with the feeling of your warm tongue. Grinding slowly against his thigh, you throw your head back with pleasure, wet lips rubbing against him. He smiles.
“You’re a dirty girl, you know that?”
“I thought that’s what you liked about me, papi.”
In a flash, he flips you onto your back as he hovers over you like a giant. A beautiful, beautiful, giant. His large muscles he works so hard for stare back at you as you admire with an open mouth. It looks as if he could carry mountains on his shoulders. Dilated pupils admire you as you let out a pathetic whimper. Long gone were his brown eyes as they now appear completely black. Sensual.
���Then you should be fucked as such.”
With that, he swings your tan legs over his broad shoulders, practically bending you like a pretzel. You pat yourself on the back for all those pilate classes. Jerking himself off a bit, he looks straight at you, making sure this was something you wanted. The way you bat your cartoon eyes is all he needs to slip inside of you.
First thing he notices is how tight you are despite him already stretching you out to perfection. Raw moans leave both your lips as you try your best to adjust to his size. You had been with men before - that’s all you really knew - but no one’s cock had ever made you burn with such satisfaction. More than satisfaction. He’s reassuring you with his words in order for you to relax.
I’ve got you, preciosa. Just let go for me. I’m right here.
Still, you can’t help but squirm underneath him. His fingers make their way to your mouth as you stare back confused. Suck, he commands before forcing them in. Caught off guard, you gag around them for a bit before your tongue begins to twirl around them. Your cheeks burn up as you hear your low mewls. Ah- ah- ah, you cry out against his digits as he grins down at you. Retracting them, he slides them down to your clit as he starts rubbing small circles.
“Oh God.”
Instantly, you open up against his tired cock as he hums. There you go, he praises as you make it easier for him to thrust into you. You should both be ashamed of the way gushy sounds bloom from your mixed cum. Or the way he pounds into you so hard and fast that it has you sliding further back against the bed, hair tangling along the way. His fingers dig into your calves as he holds them in place.
“Mierda,” he wheezes as he throws his head back, ripping his eyes away from the way your puffy clit envelopes around him. Pants and whimpers escape you as you arch your back from the fulfillment. 
Carlos is a man - you know that - but in this moment; right now: he’s proving it the way a scientist would their hypothesis. His cock brushes against your g-spot as you gasp at the sensation. He’s looking at you as if you held the key to all secrets. 
The keys for the gate to Heaven.
Though he knows that this all feels like Heaven, he deserves nothing but Hell for cheating on Ollie. But that’s the least of his worries.
“Does that feel good, bonita?” 
Wide eyes look up at him desperately as you nod to the point where your neck starts to ache. Yes - Oh God, yes. So good, Carlitos. Yeah, baby - right there. Snapping his hips harder against you, your mind goes foggy with the way his hair flops around him. Sweat causing long strands to stick to his face. Beads of sweat drip down your legs as he presses sloppy kisses. His cheeks look as if he’s been out in the sun for hours. 
In this moment; he looked immortal.
“Carlos, I’m gonna-”
“Hold it.”
Like a doll, you flop back against the bed as you start to leak acid. No - please. Don’t ask me to do that. Feeling a sharp sting, you gasp. His hands dives back in to massage your cheek after slapping you. He cocks his head with fake sympathy. “I know you can do it,” - thrust - “Wait for me, yeah?”
You have no word as you wail - tits bouncing with every assault from his hip. Your stomach burns with the way his abs glisten, with the way his bottom lip juts out, or the way his muscles shine with a layer of sweat as they hug your legs like a teddy bear. 
He was yours. In this moment, he was yours.
“Alright, linda-” He brushes your hair out of your face as he wipes your sweat with his hand. “Cum for me?”
It’s an out of body experience the moment you squirt around his dick - the way your tummy feels like it's on fire. Sore groans leave his lips as he finishes inside of you, brown eyes trained on the way you gush around him. He freezes in place at the feeling. You squirm for a few seconds below falling limp against the bed. The room smells like nothing but filthy sex. 
Pulling out of you, he carefully places your legs back down before kissing your ribs. Then your bruised tits. Then your cheeks, forehead, and lastly, your lips that taste like home. Sighing against him, you try your best to remember the way he kisses you as if you're the only form of oxygen that exists. As if this were a dystopian world and you were the only source of survival.
He pecks your lips once more before brushing his fingers against your temple. “Get some sleep.” Yawning, you nod as your eyes flutter like a butterfly's wings. Will you stay? And he doesn’t know what takes over him when he says-
“I will.”
-
When you wake up you notice it’s still dark out. The moon shines, eyes flickering around, looking for the Spaniard. You let out a low breath of relief when you see him sitting on the edge of the bed. 
“Ollie,” he whispers into the phone as he runs a hand against his jaw. “...I made a mistake.”
Your heart stops with his words. He makes sure to speak low, thinking you're sound asleep. She - I - it was a mistake. She’s just a kid…Fuck. She’s just a child. Your heart shatters with the evident blame in his voice. You weren’t a kid. Sniffling, you stop breathing when you realize you’re crying. He pauses for a moment before standing up and making sure you’re okay. Bringing the phone up against his ear, he shakes, already walking out the door.
“Where are you? Let me just see you, amor. I’ll explain it all.”
-
There’s a saying that goes: You know, a heart can be broken, but it keeps on beating, just the same.
You would personally like to punch that person in the face. It’s not true. It doesn’t beat the same - because then why does it hurt everytime it pounds against your chest? Why is it hard to breath when the priest says-
“You may now kiss the bride!”
Everyone’s faces are blurry; cheers sound far away. You can’t be too sure you're standing upright as your father beams at the sight of Ollie pressing her lips up against Carlos. The way his hands slide down to her waist as shows her off proudly like some champion ring is what hurts the most. You feel flames all over your skin, letting out a flinch when your fathers signals for you to clap, too.
You don’t know what happened after that night. Whether Ollie forgave him or not - though clearly she had. Maybe she didn’t know about you the same way he didn’t know about Ben. This was all starting to feel like some nightmare. But it’s very much real life with the way the newlyweds hold hands, smiling brightly as guests throw a mixture of confetti and baby breath.
“Nice ceremony.”
“What? Oh.” You shrug towards Max as he points over at the couple. “Y-yeah. It was…”
He goes over his next words for a moment because Lord knows that if he has it all wrong then he would appear to be the biggest jerk to ever exist. “You fell in love with him, didn’t you?”
“I-I-I’m not sure I understand,” you trample over your words as your cheeks burn the same color of your red dress. He shares a small smile.
“It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone.”
Walking away, you’re left alone, second guessing everything. The violin seemed too happy. The guests seemed too bright. All of this was fake, couldn’t they see? Pursing your lips, you try your best to hide your broken heart as you catch up with old friends. How is college? How does it feel like having a brother-in-law who drives for Formula 1? Must feel pretty great, right? 
The night is boring. Half of it you spend faking smiles and the other you spend trying to avoid the Spaniard. Life was better back in Spain, where ironically, he was never around despite it being his home country. You’re in the middle of conversing with the Dutchman - who quite frankly is an honest listener - when Ollie walks up looking like a ball of whipped cream. Can I talk to my sister alone, please? Max’s concerned eyes ask if you’re okay with that as you nod. Slumping away, he squeezes your knee one last time.
Blue Velvet plays as she fixes herself onto the stool right next to you. “Have you tried the cocktails? They have cherry flavored; your favorite.” Something about her sweet voice makes you unsteady as you raise a brow. She shows off her veneers. “This is weird. Sorry. I’m just so…happy.” 
“Good to know.”
“But enough about me!” She places her left hand over yours, shiny rock sitting perfectly. You wince. “I want to talk about you! How’s school?”
“Like you care.”
She pouts. “I do now…” You furrow your brows. What do you mean now? She gasps. “Oh, you poor thing! You don’t know I know!” Your stomach drops. “Well, you know, as your older sister, I’m also your guardian since our mother is too fucked up to look after you…And a little birdie filled me in on your reputation back in Spain.” She giggles as she takes a sip of your drink. “Doesn’t surprise me, though. It only makes sense that you keep messing around with men old enough to be your father. You always had a thing for those.”
“What does this have to do with anything?”
Ollie grins ear to ear when she notices how annoyed you’ve become. “Carlos told you he was born in Madrid, right? Okay, well, he also has a whole bloodline there. And let’s just say, a cousin of his - my goodness, his daughters are beautiful - is a professor at your Uni.”
No.
“And well this birdie also told me how you’ve been sneaking in and out of his lecture room, late at night. And I wonder…What have you and him been doing behind closed doors?”
It can’t be. 
Professor Vázquez de Castro, he says as he extends his hand out, eyes roaming every inch of your body.
Suddenly, the name sounds familiar. The surname is Carlos’ extended one. Ollie’s eyes shine. “I see it’s clicking.”
“What do you want from me?”
“I want you to leave me and my husband alone. I want you to grab your things and leave. Don’t look back; just leave. Don’t contact papi ever again. I don’t want to hear a single thing from you. It’s bad enough you’ve already fucked my spouse.”
She knows. He told her. And they still got married. 
“Ollie, don’t…”
Tugging your hand harshly, she slaps her phone on it. And you don’t know how, but in it, it’s a video of you riding your Professor - Carlos’ cousin.
“Leave or I’ll show this to him. Your choice.”
Wet sobs leave your mouth as you shake your head in disbelief. How did this happen? Who took this video?
“Ollie, please…I love him.”
Her gaze sharpens as she takes the phone back and stands up. “You know what to do.”
Bringing your shaky hand up to your lips, you stare in shock. Wobbly legs walk past Max as he asks if you’re okay. One last smile looks back at him before you brush past by. 
Carlos is craning his neck, looking for you. He had confessed that night, but so had Ollie. He was breaking off the engagement. Spilling apologies as she cried against his chest. Despite it all, he still cared for your sister. But he knew it wasn’t going to work out. He was ready to leave when she brought up the tape of you and a cousin he didn’t even know he had. I’ll get her expelled. Don’t do this, Carlos. And so he stayed. He knew how much you loved school, regardless of what others might think. I just want to help others, you swooned one day by the pool. It’s what I wish someone had done for me.
You get to him before he spots you as you tap on his shoulder. He fills up with worry when he sees your red brimmed eyes. Sheepishly, you take his handkerchief as you wipe your rosy nose. What happened? Who made you cry? You shrug.
“Carlos…I love you.” He blinks. You let out a wet laugh as you lean up to kiss him. You didn’t care who saw anymore. This was it. He doesn’t seem to care either as his hands wrap around your waist. Holding you close, as if you might vanish into thin air. He was the waves, you were the shore. Pulling away, you wink. “Save me a dance, yeah?” 
Then, you’re walking away. Becoming smaller as you stroll over to the Italian house. Clutching his chest, he chokes: I-I…I.
“Carlos!”
Turning to face Ollie, he sees her waving him over to the giant cake. 
“Coming.”
-
Running into the quiet house, he calls your name. He looks behind every door, hoping to find the girl in red. Stumbling up the stairs, he swings your door open. He breathes heavily when he doesn’t find you, even here. Panicked, he grips his hair in despair. Only then, does it occur to him to open the restroom door, hoping to not scare you.
“¿Bonita?”
Silence. He still pushes it open as he carefully walks in, finding no harm in checking. And why? Why couldn’t he be as truthful like you were? Risk it the way you would have willingly done. Why did he let you walk into the house alone?
Falling to his knees, he desperately crawls over to your lifeless body, dark blood flowing from your wrists. 
As red as your dress.
He must be dreaming. This can’t be real. Surely, it can’t.
“No, no, no.” He drags your limp body into his arms. He can’t even pinpoint the moment his tears flow down his face. “Bonita, no. No. No. No.” The Spaniard cradles your colorless face into his hands. He gently taps your face a few times, but almost stops breathing himself when it only rolls back. Blood stains his white shirt. “Hey, hey.  C’mon, please. You want me to say it?” Hurriedly, he picks up your head as he kisses your lips over and over. He winces when he feels how chapped they’ve become.
“It doesn’t feel forced. I’m not saying it because I think it’s what you want to hear - I love you. I do. I love you as infinite as the ocean. I love the way you laugh, the way you trip over anything in your way, the way you say my name…I love you.” 
But he knew you weren’t listening. Not anymore. 
A piece of him died that day along with you. After that, life was a sickening blur. He’s out of it the moment he hears your father yelling out in agony or when Ollie screams at the gruesome scene. 
None of it mattered anymore.
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chososdiscordkitten · 2 months
Text
Gojo's Love For Hands.
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Synopsis: self explanatory, a few thoughts on Gojo's favorite part of reader ૮ ․ ․ ྀིა
Pairing: Gojo x GN!Reader - below cut is F!Reader Content: below the cut is smut, a sprinkle of voyeurism, fingering, handjob, penetrative sex is mentioned, hair pulling (m), no super in detail desc of intercourse
Dedicated to; my lovely moot, @meowkn ꕤ*.゚
MDNI
Gojo liked every part of you;
Your eyelashes, the little beauty marks littered on your skin. He liked every inch of you. Even when you'd roll your eyes at his stupidity. 
But Gojo loved your hands. 
He loved holding them in his, the tips of his fingers tracing the creases of your palm. He liked intertwining your fingers with his, seeing the difference in height between your digits and his.
Satoru liked watching you talk with your hands. When they’d explain what you were feeling more than your words would. 
He liked pressing his thumb onto your knuckles, feeling the skin above the bone move beneath the pad. 
Gojo loved feeling the warmth your hands provided, reminding him that not only were you made of flesh and blood- but you were all his. 
And when yours were cold, he would happily warm them with his. Just another reminder that he’s a natural, breathing person, made of the same material you were. 
He cherished the feeling of your fingertips trailing on his skin, calloused or soft, slim and tall or short stubby- it didn’t matter to him. Only because they were yours, and yours only. 
Gojo melted in your palms when you’d cup his cheeks, caressing the swell with your thumbs as a comfort. 
For sure, he fantasizes about how a wedding ring would look on your finger. Spending too much time wondering what kind would look best with your hand shape or skin tone. Picturing about 100 different rings on your finger, all while you were unaware of his little fantasy.
He would smile to himself, watching you hold your phone while you were on a phone call- oblivious to his admiration-filled eyes. Watching how you held the piece of metal to your ear effortlessly, taking in every detail he could. 
If your nails were trimmed, if they were painted or not, mentally making note if you had any rings on. Or if you had doodled anything on the tops of your palms. 
Gojo has always been very attentive to your hands. 
Scolding you whenever he would find small gashes from you, picking at the skin out of anxiety. 
Holding your hands in his as though you had damaged some great possession of his. “You can’t do that anymore,” he gripped your hands, bringing them to his lips and kissing your knuckles. 
Honestly, you thought this was just some ongoing bit Satoru kept feeding into. Thinking he was joking whenever he would tell you how pretty they were. 
That was until you told him- “This joke isn’t funny anymore, ‘toru.” to which he tilted his head in confusion. 
“I’ll show you how much this isn’t a joke.” he grinned, reaching for your hands. 
The back of your knuckles hit his palm as he placed his pointer finger on the crease of your palm. Looking into your eyes with an earnest smile. 
“If I was blind, and you put me in front of 50 people and told me to find you- with only feeling their hands.” he traced the crease of your palm with the very tip of his finger- tickling your palm. 
“I would find you just by doing this.” Satoru watched your expression churn with confusion and a sheepish smile. Huffing a smile at how whipped he indeed was. 
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And when it came to your hands during intimacy?
Foreplay with him almost always included kissing the very tips of your fingers. Placing open-mouth kisses onto the sides of your fingers as he looked into your eyes. 
Having you straddling his thighs- lips moving against each other in rhythm with every small rut you made onto Satoru’s growing bulge. Hands interlocked with each other as he turned you both over, leaving you on your back and his hips pressing onto your clothed core. 
Gojo’s hands pinning yours down as he pulled away. Resting on the back of his calves as he begrudgingly pulled his hands from yours. Looking down at you with determined eyes. 
Now, Satoru would be lying if he said there wasn't was a close runner-up for his favorite part of you. A very, very close 2nd place would be your cunt. 
But his all-time favorite sight? 
Your thighs spread, feet planted on the plush sheets as you trailed your hand across your thigh. Blinking your gaze away from Gojo's crazed expression, lowering two fingers down to your soiled panties. 
“Slowly, baby.” he instructed as he palmed his prisoned cock. Cheeks flushed as you pressed onto the wet spot of your panties, softly dragging your fingers up the fabric as Satoru watched with intoxicated eyes. 
It was embarrassing whenever he would ask this of you- not understanding why he wanted to watch you pleasure yourself. 
Truth being, Satoru always liked watching two of your fingers breach your entrance- the base of your fingers pressed against your skin as you let out a frustrated sigh. 
Gojo would never admit it, but he loved watching you try reaching that particular spot inside you. So desperately trying to push your fingers in further- being able to feel how close it was the tips of your digits. 
But he’s no monster; what kind of partner would Satoru be if he just sat back and watched you struggle? 
Well- he would, for a few minutes. Then, he would offer his assistance. Telling you, “Jus’ focus on your clit f’me,” and he would take care of the rest. 
Gojo swore up and down- he could cum untouched from just watching you play with yourself. 
Your unoccupied hand pawed at your breast as the tips of his fingers quickly reached the sweet spot that made you exhale with a moan laced in it. Satoru’s finger bumped up once- and again, and again, as you called his name. 
His eyes filled with stars as he watched your pretty hands unravel an orgasm from yourself. 
And once you were finished- Satoru always made sure to clean your hands for you. Licking up the mess you made on them greedily.
All while looking into your eyes, guiding your wrist to apply pressure onto his tongue as he sucked on them.
And when you offer to blow him? 
“Nah, just use your hands.” he assured with a smile, spreading his knees in an offensive manspread to welcome you between his legs. 
He liked it when you used both your hands, watching you move them with circular motions as you stroked him. 
As pretty as Satoru thought your hands were, he knew they had to be talented when it came to giving handjobs. Almost jealous as to how easily you stroked him- mentally thinking of how many you’ve given before him. As gifted as your movements were and how pretty your hands were? There had to be dozens. 
“Nope. Only you.” you grinned, watching his eyes squint at your response. Unable to fathom how your hands were skilled with only given handjobs to him. To which you explained that he was the only one who preferred your hands; no one before him declined a blow job-
“I think I’ve heard enough.” he silenced your defense with a pout. 
And when it came to feeling your hands sprawl on his back, rolling his hips against you as he looked into your hazy eyes. 
Trailing up to the back of his nape, your fingers rub gently on his undercut before roaming up and getting lost in snow-white hair. And when he’d thrust a little bit firmer- you’d tug the tiniest bit. Causing a guttural whimper to leave his throat. 
Gojo liked feeling your hands trail over whatever part of his body they could reach- the broad of his back, leaving small trails of goosebumps as you moved them to grip his bicep. The tips of your fingers turned a lighter shade as you strengthened your grip. 
And when they trail on his ribs, a hot spark would run down his spine, settling in his tummy. Even more so when you’d place your hand flat on the side of his glutes. A daring hand roaming onto the swell of his bottom and grabbing a handful of his ass. 
What Satoru liked about your hands- was how gentle and tender they could be at times, holding him delicately as though he was made of glass. 
But he also liked it when you get grabby, unashamed groping on whatever part of his body you could grab. 
And it was a friendly reminder, knowing your hands had a mean grip. Being able to make Gojo submit to you with a light tug of his hair.
-
(a.n) this was so cute to write, giggling and kicking my feet the whole time.
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lucidfairies · 5 months
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neighbor!abby hcs
warnings: nervous!abby, slightly pervy!abby, nsfw at the bottom, nipple play, pillow humping, strap mentioned, dacryphilia, breeding kink
• neighbor!abby who moves in on the twenty fifth of september, chilly air making her cheeks red and her breath seen while she moves boxes with a man. her biceps filled out her shirt beautifully from what you could see from the window in your bedroom
• neighbor!abby who grinned, freckles on display when you came to introduce yourself with a platter of cookies, eager and dolled up to meet your new neighbor, who took the house of the grouch old man who previously lived there.
• neighbor!abby who doesn't stop thinking about you after she shuts the door, taking a deep breath before returning to her friends who were celebrating the new house in her living room.
• neighbor!abby whose friends ask who was at the door and she blushes and tells them about the hot neighbor next door. they tell her that she should get to know you more and she says that she'll wait to see what happens.
• neighbor!abby who lied to her friends and makes up any excuse to see and talk to you. getting your mail? shes getting hers too. leaving for work? she's just getting home. somehow she finds a way to cram your routine into her already busy schedule as a nurse
• neighbor!abby who finally stops to have a full conversation with you one day outside as you both happened to return from work at the same time. she learned a lot about you; that you were a student, that you only lived in the neighborhood because your parents were paying for half of it, that you honestly didn't have the best relationship with your parents, and you learned a lot about her.
• neighbor!abby whose brain whirls and short circuits when she gets back to the comfort of her home and can focus on the interaction you two just had.
• neighbor!abby who accepts her fate when you start showing up in her dreams, and popping into her head when she releases some tension at night - fingers deep in her cunt and a pillow over her mouth while she fucked herself deep.
• neighbor!abby who notices you stop coming out of your house and assumed your schedule changed, until she learned that you had been sick for weeks.
• neighbor!abby who rakes the leaves in your yard and brings you food as often as she can while you're sick. who doesn't fail to notice the way you swoon every time she does - or maybe she's crazy.
• neighbor!abby who gets all blushy and nervous when you come to her house with food, asking to come in as a thank you for everything she did for you while you were sick.
• neighbor!abby who comes up to you at the neighborhood block party without anything to talk about, and let's you tell all the stories about everyone in the neighborhood that you want.
• neighbor!abby who asks you out that same night.
• neighbor!abby who is absolutely obsessed with you. starts planning your wedding the night after your date, empties a drawer for you for whenever you start sleeping over, buys your perfume and puts it on her clothes. ob. sessed.
• neighbor!abby who finally feels comfortable with her life when she moves in with you. you're her home, and she loves you <3
• neighbor!abby who fucks like a god
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• neighbor!abby who bends you into a million different positions, just because she likes to see how flexible you are.
• neighbor!abby who gets off on you crying. overstimulates you so hard you cry, and she cums. absolutely loves it, and would frame a picture of you crying with her strap deep in you if she could.
• neighbor!abby who loves when you play with her nipples. fucks herself on your thigh while you suck her tits, she goes wild over it, and does the same to you if you ask - but certainly likes it more when you're on top.
• neighbor!abby who fucks herself in your bed when you go away on business trips, panties up to her face while she rides your pillow, cunt pushing harshly against the silk.
• neighbor!abby who's obsessed with the idea of breeding you. gets a special strap and everything just to pound you until her muscles cramp. loves to call you mama and tell you how good your pussy feels.
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radioisntdead · 28 days
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Good evening folks! Here's a drabble I wrote as a warm up, not my best work but it's short And it was written at three am, Enjoy!
The radio man's Wife
Alastor x female reader
Warnings:
Human Alastor, murder, Not much Alastor in here but he's here, victim blaming the dead people
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You could ask anyone who had met her and they would tell you that The local radio host's wife was the sweetest person they had ever met, a real angel on earth, she'd help out her neighbors, delivering fresh baked goods to those in need, she'd help take care of the neighborhood kids while their parents got away for a night,
She was a saint, who was to know that she had married a monster? She was just another unwilling victim right?
After all,
She was just so kind!
but even those who appear kind could do the cruelest of things, sweet words secretly drenched in venom, dressed in soft unsuspecting colors, her eyes that held nothing but fondness for the person she married and distain for those who stood against him, for those who ran his name through the mud.
She'd gleefully turn a blind eye to the wicked acts he did, being nothing but a bystander, at most she threw a few sickly sweet words to the victims that left them feeling sick to the pits of their stomaches before they perished.
She'd clean up any remaining mess he left behind, making any leftover carnage into fertilizer for her beautiful garden, mopping up the blood stained floors, or digging up a deep grave in the nearby woods for him to drag a body or two into.
She willingly laid next to someone who had countless people's blood on his hands, she'd give nothing but a love-filled smile at him,
She'd dance with a repeat murderer while soft jazz played on the radio each night after dinner, after the dishes were done and dried He'd take her hand and they'd dance.
She'd give a small kiss on the cheek, telling him to stay safe and leave him to his business slaughtering folks.
After all they deserved it right? They weren't truly good folks, Her and her dear Alastor believed ? that wholeheartedly, and Honestly it's their own fault for being easy targets
Right?
No one would believe you if you told them beforehand that the charming radio host, Alastor was a cold blooded murderer who had claimed multiple lives,
After all he was so charming, always with that smile on his face that could make anyone swoon, although you could never exactly know what he was thinking, people adored his voice and his radioshow where he'd play the tunes of the time, and briefly speak about the recent disappearances of people, telling everyone to stay safe.
It's truly the charming ones you should look out for.
It was only revealed when someone hunting in the dead of night mistook her dearest Alastor for a deer, shooting him swiftly through the head, killing him almost instantly, leaving him to be bitten and torn by man's best friend.
The phonecall she got when it was discovered was heart wrenching,
Her beloved Radio host went from charming to his name being thrown around, treated like a monster, [Which he was, he killed people] his office was cleaned out swiftly after being searched for anything alluding to his crimes, the home they shared was searched and torn apart for evidence as she sobbed into the arms of a supportive, unsuspecting neighbor,
After everything went down she was either scorned or deemed a unfortunate lady who unknowingly married a murderous monster, she had parts of the community that took pity bring around casseroles and give her words of comfort.
It couldn't have been more then a year since Alastor had gone, a family member of one of his victims wanted revenge, however since the murderer was already six feet under, why not go for his widow?
In the dead of night carrying a gun he crept into the home she once shared with her beloved, he moved passed the picture frames on the walls, from events, Their wedding photos and pictures of family, all were hung up neatly.
He opened the door, a creaking noise rung out throughout the house,
He moved forward towards the bed where the widow laid, deep in a slumber she'd never wake up from,
The man lifted up the gun and shot her right in the heart, She didn't know what hit her.
Arising from the ground she brushed herself off, the sight of brimstone and the harsh smell of sulfur filled her nose,
She didn't know what killed her, maybe a heart attack? Perhaps she choked on something in her sleep? Well there was no use in wondering, what's done is done, and from the looks of it she definitely ended up in hell, wasn't surprising after all she did help out her husband in his crimes.
With a quick look at herself, she made a face at the animal ears that protruded from her head, along with the matching tail on her back, shaking her head she began walking around to explore the place.
She supposed it was time to go find her dearly departed darling now wasn't it?
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Good evening folks! Thank you for reading!
I'm making my way through requests and a couple of them will hopefully be out within the week! Stay tuned!
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ladykailitha · 16 days
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The Rockstar and the Teacher
Just thinking about a rockstar Eddie and a school teacher Steve who have been together for a decade, but Steve is kept out of the limelight by his choice.
He doesn't want to have his kids harassed because of who he's dating. Plus the whole gay man= pedophile in the minds of most parents.
Things are going great until they aren't.
Steve sees a tabloid with the headline "Eddie Munson photographed outside local bar with boyfriend, hints there may be a spring wedding!" and he's furious. Like seeing red, pissed off.
Because the guy next to Eddie is not Steve.
Whoever he is, he's dressed the same as Eddie. Leather jacket, long hair, chains everywhere.
But he barely has time to get worked up because even though Eddie had been in LA working on the band's next album, he is bursting through their house in Hawkins's door.
Eddie skids to a stop when he sees the tabloid on their kitchen counter and holds up his hands.
"I'm sorry, baby," he mutters and Steve chokes back tears, "I was trying to get home before you saw that."
"Why would you do that to me?" Steve cries.
Eddie slowly pulls out his phone like he's getting it out for a cop and hands it over to Steve, who takes it with a frown.
"It's not me, sweetheart," Eddie says. "I can prove it."
Steve looks at the phone and it instantly opens to Steve's face.
Eddie can see the hope spark in Steve's eyes as he looks through Eddie's phone.
Text message after text message about Eddie planning on getting Steve a necklace with both of their initials on it from Steve's favorite jewelry designer.
Eddie's phone pinging him at a nearby bar, but not the one the photo is showing him coming out of at the time it was taken.
Then the final evidence. A fan photo of Eddie and the girl taking a picture just outside of it the other bar at the time other Eddie was supposedly getting his picture taken with his "boyfriend".
"My management and PR team are on it, Stevie," Eddie tells him. "We think it was a setup from the jewelry guy. He lured me to the bar so that they could stage the pap photo."
Steve frowns at the phone in his hand, his fingers gripping it so tightly that his knuckles go white.
"Why?"
Eddie runs his hands over his face. "Honestly?" Steve nods. "To get you to come out in the public eye."
Steve looks at the phone and then back at the paper on the counter. Eddie can see his heart sink.
"I'm sorry," Steve murmurs. "I've been selfish. If I had just gone to LA with you been your partner all of the time, this wouldn't have happened."
Eddie takes Steve's face in his hands. "You are my partner all of the time. Even when we're apart. You weren't being selfish. You had just gotten your degree when we made it big. You wanted to use what you had paid for, and rightly so. This is on them, not you. Never you!"
Steve lets out a shuddered breath and then nods. "Okay."
He lets out another breath and Eddie smiles as Steve straightens his shoulders and cracks his knuckles.
"Give me two hours and I'll have this sorted."
Eddie doesn't doubt it.
****
Two hours later, Steve comes out in a beautiful cream suit and silver mesh top.
Eddie looks up from his place on the sofa and licks his lips slowly. He had been messaging Chrissy, his manager while Steve was doing whatever it was in his office.
"Wow, baby you look good enough to eat."
Steve grins. "It's a good thing you're hungry because we're going out to dinner."
Eddie stands up quickly and puts a hand on Steve's waist. "Are you sure you want to do this? We don't have to. We're already suing everyone for defamation of character and libel."
Steve grinned. "Oh yeah. I've already spoken to Robin and Chrissy and they're onboard."
"K, baby."
****
They arrive at the restaurant and they sit in Eddie's little two seater.
"Last chance, Stevie," Eddie said, looking out at the waiting reporters. "Just say the word and we'll go somewhere more secluded."
Steve shakes his head. "Let's do this."
Eddie gives his hand a squeeze and gets out first.
"Eddie! Eddie!" one reporter calls out. "What do you have to say about that picture in The Sun?"
"That's not me," he says calmly. "That's not my boyfriend. I would never cheat on him that way."
Then a burst of questions asking about his real boyfriend as he moves around the car to open the other door.
Steve steps out looking like sex on legs. But also like nothing anyone pegged as Eddie's boyfriend.
Eddie kisses his hand and Steve blushes.
Suddenly all the questions are directed at Steve, asking if he's the boyfriend? How long have they been dating? What's his name?
Steve just bats his eyelashes and says quite clearly, "I would ask you to respect our privacy during this trying time."
BOOM!
Mic drop.
The reporters clam up, the cameras stop flashing as they stare at him in open mouthed shock.
Eddie swoops in and gives Steve the biggest kiss. And the only reason it was even caught on camera was because the video camera hadn't stopped rolling.
They go inside and Steve gets two messages on his phone and Eddie asks if he's going to look at them, but he shakes his head.
"It's probably just Robin wanting all the inside scoop."
So they finish their meal and walk back out to the valet, hand in hand. It's then when Steve pulls out his phone. He was right about the first message, the second one was from a private number and merely said:
-Ben fatto, mio caro*
Steve smiles and kisses the the screen before tucking his phone back in his pocket.
As they drive home, Eddie asks about the texts.
"Just my mom telling me she was proud of me in the only way she could."
Mrs. Sophia Harrington was too conceited to send him anything directly, especially since Clint Harrington had cut Steve off years ago due to him being gay. But she could send a single message from a private number that she would never use again, to let her son know that she was proud at how well he had handled the reporters.
Eddie just smiles and they drive home in comfortable silence.
****
Steve goes to work the next morning and stops in at the principal's office. He smiles when he realizes the press hasn't figured out who he is yet. But it will only be a matter of time and he knows it.
The principal holds up a printed copy of his resignation and demands to know the meaning of it.
So Steve tells him.
"Steve..." the principal whines when he's done.
"You know you're going to have parents banging down your door the second it gets out," Steve explains. "It's easier for me to just walk away now and not wait for you to have to fire me."
The principal sighs but agrees. "You'll be missed."
Steve nods and stands up. At least he'll have time to say goodbye to his kids.
By lunch time it's gotten around the school that he's leaving but not why.
Steve had sworn his kids to secrecy so everyone could say goodbye, but a couple of his students come and hang out with him at lunch to talk about it.
"I knew you had to someone cool," the one kid says. "You knew too much about Corroded Coffin to be lame ole Mr. Harrington."
Yeah, Steve isn't going to miss that one kid.
He makes it through the school day and some of the parents have setup an impromptu farewell party on the front lawn of the school.
It's a tearful goodbye, but Steve feels lighter as he makes his way to car with all his things, then he has in years.
****
The news breaks on who he is later that night and Steve doesn't envy the principal's headache tomorrow, but cuddled up with Robin and Eddie on his sofa, he really can't find it in himself to give a fuck.
They'll later go on the Tonight Show and talk about how Steve had been in the closet for years and how he was forced out by this stunt with the photo. He talks about how other celebrities had been forced out too and that apparently it's not just for famous people.
That because he was with a famous person that meant he had no rights either and how that has to start changing.
He's happy he's out now, but it should have been on his own terms and not the media's.
There ends up being a spring wedding, but just the following year as Eddie and Steve tie the knot, two beautiful rings on their hands and a dazzling necklace at Steve's throat with their new initials on it EM and SM.
There is a mysterious gift of two tickets to a private villa in Italy after their honeymoon that has them both grinning like fools.
****
Here's a little gay Italian Steve for you.
*Well done, my dear
Tag List: @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03
@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie
@chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666
@goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
@justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690
@anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon
@cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt
@useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95
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parkerslatte · 2 months
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Overlooked | Part Five
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Eris Vanserra x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 5.3k
Warnings: none
Summary: The day has arrived for Y/N and Eris to get married and she gets nervous that her sisters won’t show up.
A Court of Thorns and Roses Masterlist
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Epilogue
•••
The day began with Y/N waking up early, not from excitement but from nervousness. She had reluctantly left the warmth of Eris’s arms and sat in front of her dresser. It was her wedding day, Y/N knew that she should be over the moon but the overwhelming feeling of dread threatened to take over. 
When Y/N pictured her wedding when she was younger, she always imagined her three younger sisters walking down the aisle before her before she stepped out in her magnificent dress prepared to greet her soon to be husband. Now she was not even sure her sisters would show up for her wedding. 
“What are you doing over here?” Eris’s sleepy voice interrupted her thoughts. “We still have a few hours in bed before we need to wake.”
“You can go back to bed,” Y/N said. “I can’t really sleep.”
“You aren’t having second thoughts, are you?” Eris asked, his tone teasing but once he caught a glimpse of Y/N’s saddened expression, his smile dropped. “Do you still want to marry me?”
“Of course I do!” Y/N exclaimed. “I just…it’s just hard. Not knowing if my sisters are going to show up.” Eris perched himself on the stool next to Y/N, his arm wrapping around her waist to keep the both of them on it. “I am marrying the love of my life, I should be happy but if I walk down that aisle and see that they aren’t there, I will feel…betrayed, if that is even the right word for it. I know that we were not the closest but they are still my sisters. We should always stand by one another.”
Eris pulled her closer and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “My dear, if they don’t show up, then it's a huge reflection on them and their personalities. If they do not show up then they do not deserve your love. Because I know how much you love and I have seen how it sometimes hurts you.”
Y/N allowed her head to fall upon his shoulder. “I just really want them there, Eris.”
“From your last conversation, do you believe they will?” Eris questioned. 
“I honestly do not know,” Y/N exhaled. “My sisters seemed eager to get back to the Night Court so I can only hope that they talked to the others about the conversation we had, but I know how easily both Feyre and Nesta can be distracted by Rhys and Cassian. When they are around, it is as if I am not there.”
“What of Elain?” Eris asked.
Y/N sighed. “It’s more complicated with her. I know that she holds some attraction to Azriel but I do know that she has been in contact with Lucien these past few weeks.”
“How did you know that?” Eris asked. 
“While Lucien was here two weeks ago, a letter came for him but was accidentally delivered to me accidently. I would recognise my sister’s handwriting anywhere,” Y/N said. “To be honest, even if it is just Elain that shows up, I will be more than happy about that.”
“Even if they don’t show up, you are surrounded by people who love you,” Eris said. 
“And people who hate me,” Y/N said bitterly. “There are still people who work in this palace that cannot abide my presence, Eris.”
“And I am working on removing them–”
“And it is taking you too long!” Y/N exclaimed. “I am never allowed in any of the meetings because you won’t allow it!”
Eris stilled and Y/N regretted her words instantly. “Eris, I did not mean that at all. I am so sorry.”
“I know,” Eris said, his voice saddened. “And you don’t need to apologise because it is true. I could have gotten rid of those particular advisors months ago but I haven’t.”
“No, Eris, don’t do that,” Y/N said. “Don’t sit there and find excuses for my words. I shouldn’t have snapped at you at all, my love. I know you want to avoid an internal war within the court.”
At the term of endearment, Eris seemed to relax slightly. “You don’t need to apologise for snapping at me, Y/N. Of course I want you in those meetings, I cannot speak your ideas as eloquently as you. But I don’t wish to see the sneers and glares sent your way every single time you walk through those doors to the meeting room. Keeping you away is not something I want to do. It only reminds me of my father.”
Y/N lightly kissed his bare shoulder. “You are nothing like your father, Eris.”
“But leaving you out of court matters makes me seem like it,” Eris replied. “He never allowed my mother in any meetings either.”
“Unlike him, you allow me to have my opinions and words heard,” Y/N tried to reason with her mate.
“But through my voice, not yours,” Eris replied. 
“It doesn’t matter because at the end of the day, I know I am making a change in this court. I know I am helping those in need and pathing the way for a better life for everyone in this court.” Y/N cupped his cheek. The stubble was gone but Y/N missed it, she had grown quite attached to it. 
“The moment you become my wife, I will fire those advisors immediately,” Eris said. 
“What about the possibilities of an internal war?” Y/N asked.
“If that does happen, I have enough resources and allies that will win it for us in no time. But I cannot sit here a moment longer and take credit for the large changes happening in court when it is all you,” Eris said and pressed a kiss to her forehead. 
“Eris I can’t let you risk a war for me,” Y/N said. “I am perfectly content to wait.”
“Y/N, you must already know that I would crawl to the ends of the earth for you, a simple war is not going to stop me from having your voice heard,” Eris tenderly kissed her palm. “You must know how much I love and adore you.”
“I know, Eris,” Y/N said, her voice soft as she leaned her forehead against Eris’s. 
“Let’s go back to bed,” Eris suggested. “We still have a couple of hours before we need to wake.”
And that is exactly what the pair did. Y/N fit perfectly within Eris’s arms, her back pressed tightly against his chest. His scent surrounded her and Y/N found that every worry seemed to drift away, even if she knew it would only be for a couple of hours. With that, Y/N managed to drift off to a peaceful sleep.
***
With her hair styled and her dress on, Y/N felt like the bride she had always imagined to be. There were multiple times where she had nearly cried off the colouring around her eyes. Now as she stood behind the doors, her heart hammered in her chest. She had not seen Eris since he was whisked out of their bedroom and into his own dressing room that morning. The only communication they had since then was the waves of love sent down the bond. 
But now, Y/N could feel Eris’s nervousness and she could feel his. 
There was nothing to be nervous about and Y/N knew that. She was marrying the love of her and life and having her dream wedding. Nothing would ever rival this day, perhaps possibly their mating ceremony, but even that hadn’t been as grand of a scale as this. 
“Are you ready, High Lady?” One of the maids asked, a bright smile on her face. 
Y/N let out a long breath. “I am.”
The maid smiled and straightened out her veil. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you,” Y/N said, looking down at her dress once more. 
The grand doors opened and the musicians immediately began playing. Y/N couldn’t stop herself from tearing up at the song. It was the same song that they shared their first ever dance to the night they met. 
Y/N’s eyes met Eris’s and her chest felt tighter. He was dressed in a suit similar gold to hers and had splashes of the gold dusting her eyes on his. She gasped at the sight of him, she had never seen him look so beautiful before. 
Even from the opposite end of the aisle, she could see the way he tried to hold in his tears. Her soul sang to his as she took her first few steps down the aisle. That invisible thread seemed to pull her toward him and she would gladly follow wherever he was. The male standing at the end of the aisle was the furthest thing from how others described him. He was loving and protective and the most incredible being Y/N had ever met. She was lucky to hold him in her arms every night. 
The closer Y/N got to Eris, she broke eye contact for the briefest moment to look around at all of the people surrounding her. Many were from other courts yet the hall was mostly filled with commoners from the Autumn Court. Y/N had invited the farmers, bakers and business owners. Families with children and without. This was not just a day to celebrate her and Eris, it was to celebrate the court itself and the positive changes it was making. 
Who she didn’t see however was her sisters. Her heart sank as the smile wavered on her face but once her eyes met Eris’s once more he nodded his head toward the back of the hall. Somewhere where Y/N had not even glanced at in the moments she began to walk down the aisle. 
There were her sisters. Each smiling as she walked down the aisle, Nyx in Feyre’s arms. Rhysand, Cassian and Azriel all sat beside them. Y/N locked eyes with each of her sisters and the smile on her face shined bright once more.
A small tap against her shields had Y/N immedietly bringing them down. 
You look beautiful, Feyre said. 
Thank you for coming, Y/N said.
We wouldn’t miss this, Feyre replied and she was gone from her mind. 
Y/N’s gaze lingered on her three sisters for a brief moment longer before she turned back to Eris. Y/N knew that she had to walk in pace to the music but in those last few feet she didn’t care. She passed her boquet to a Day Court official sitting on the end of the row and lifted up the front of her skirt as she ran to Eris. 
Eris only opened his arms as she flung her arms around him.
“You are stunning,” Eris mumbled into her ear. 
Y/N didn’t respond as she took a step back as Eris took her hands in his. As they locked eyes, Eris finally allowed a singular tear to fall down his cheek. Y/N released her fans from his hold and wiped it away. 
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Eris whispered.
“Me neither,” Y/N replied, bringing his hand to her lips and kissing his knuckles tenderly. 
Both Y/N and Eris seemed to be in their own small world when the ceremony began. Everything around them seemed to melt away until the two of them stood alone in the hall together. Eris’s hand shook as he held onto hers, it reminded Y/N of their mating ceremony, he was nervous then too. A small squeeze of reassurance was all it took to subside the shaking. A reminder to Eris that he was present and the whole spectacle was just a figment of his imagination. 
“And now the vows,” the officiator announced.
The wedding was more accustomed to a human wedding ceremony with elements of a fae ceremony sprinkled in to make it official. Eris wanted to replicate her dream wedding and he had done it to perfection. It was as if Y/N stepped out of her own daydream.
Eris let out a shaky breath before speaking. “Y/N, I will begin by saying that you are the love of my life. A love that I never thought I deserved.”
Eris took another breath and closed his eyes, as if he were begging the tears to stay at bay. “I will keep this short because you already know how much I adore and love you but I want you to know Y/N, that you saved my life. The moment you walked into it, everything was changed, the planets aligned, you saved me from myself, from dooming this court to continue under the way it was ruled previously.”
“You are my light, Y/N, a light I never thought would shine upon me. A light so bright yet I never saw it coming. You are my mate, my love, my wife, my whole world. And I will spend eternity loving you because it is what you deserve, it is what you have always deserved.”
The tears fell in rhythmic succession down Y/N’s face as she held tightly onto Eris’s hands. “How am I meant to follow that?”
A small chorus of laughs echoed throughout the hall.
Eris smiled brightly and squeezed her hands. 
“Eris, I love you,” Y/N began. Her heart hammered in her chest. “I wasn’t looking for love when I found you. But you were so patient with me, you allowed me to pursue things at my own pace. Never once did you pressure me into anything.”
Eris’s thumb lightly caressed her knuckles and Y/N struggled to keep her composure. 
“I love your smile, I love your laugh, I even love the way you want to hold my hand every moment of the day even if it is inconvenient for us both.” Eris chuckled quietly and dipped his head. “Most importantly Eris, I love your soul. I love how much you love and how much you care. And now I am just talking from the heart, but you deserve this. You deserve so much love, and I will happily give it to you for our entire lives, as your wife, as your mate, as your friend. You are my entire life, Eris and you always will be.”
With their eyes locked, Eris sent so much love down the bond that it was almost overwhelming. But Y/N just simply returned it. 
“And with that,” the officiator began. “I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride, High Lord.”
“I damn sure will,” Eris said before gently cupping Y/N’s cheeks and pressed his lips against hers in a gentle, yet passionate kiss. 
Their tears mixed together and Y/N was sure that the gold dusting her and Eris’s eyelids was now all over their faces but she didn’t care. She was kissing her husband, her mate, the love of her life. 
Something deep within Y/N seemed to awaken and before she knew it heat surrounded them as the guests gasped in awe. Y/N only pulled away from Eris to look at the spectacle that surrounded them. Fire swirled in elegant patterns around the hall. Sparks falling down around the hall but vanished when they were close to anything it could harm. 
Y/N gasped. “Did you do this?”
Eris was not looking at the spectacle when Y/N turned back to him, he was only looking at her. “No,” he answered. “You are.”
“But how–”
“I told you, there is more to your power,” Eris wrapped his hand around hers.
The fire slowly began to disappear until nothing remained. Y/N turned back to Eris, whose eyes were still fixed on her.
“Shall we go, my love?” Eris asked. 
Y/N smiled. “Yes we shall.”
The two walked down the aisle to the applause of everyone in the hall.
***
The ballroom was smaller than the hall Y/N and Eris married in but was still just as grand. People danced and enjoyed themselves. Some drank too much and were escorted out by their friends. It was everything Y/N had envisioned for her wedding day. 
The only thing she needed was her sisters. 
As Y/N walked through the ballroom, her sights set on the group huddled in the far corner of the ballroom. Her sisters, more specifically Elain, was straying further from the group as she tried to find someone in the mass of people, but once her younger sister's eyes landed on her she smiled and rushed over. 
“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Elain said as she wrapped her in a hug. 
Y/N’s arms immediately wrapped around her sister and hugged her fiercely. “It’s okay. I am glad you are here.”
As Y/N pulled away from Elain, Feyre and Nesta were approaching. Like Elain, Feyre gave her a hug and offered her a quiet apology. Finally Nesta stood before her. Unlike her two youngest sisters, Nesta remained there, as elegant as ever, with her arms folded across her chest. 
“Nesta,” Y/N greeted. “I am glad you are–”
Before Y/N could finish her sentence, Nesta had wrapped Y/N in a tight hug. She had never been too close to Nesta and she was sure that she could count on one hand the number of times they had hugged in their life. But this was by far Y/N’s favourite. 
“I am sorry for the way we treated you, Y/N,” Nesta said and pulled away. 
“It is okay,” Y/N said.
“No it isn’t, Y/N,” Feyre said. “We should not have pushed you away. We should not have ignored you. Your trauma from the cauldron was just as valid as Nesta and Elain and we did nothing for you.”
“We are also sorry for how we treated you and Eris,” Elain butt in. “From the looks of things, you two love each other and he absolutely adores you. It was wrong of us to assume he had forced you to stay here.”
“Can you ever forgive us?” Feyre asked. 
“There are a lot of things you three have not done for me over the past few years,” Y/N began. “Feyre, Elain you have described them perfectly. I am not forgiving you immediately, we three need to have time to rebuild any relationship we had before.” Her three sisters lost the small smiles on their faces. “But tonight, I would just like to be with my sisters and celebrate with them. When I imagined my wedding day, I always pictured you three there beside me.”
Elain took Y/N’s hand. “We will always be beside you, Y/N. We love you.”
Y/N smiled. “I love you three too.”
Y/N held a little tighter onto Elain’s hand and then gripped onto Nesta’s hand. “Now as it is my wedding day and as I am High Lady of this court, I demand you three to dance with me.”
Y/N dragged the two to the centre of the dancefloor. People around them watched but Y/N couldn’t find it within herself to care about appearances. All she wanted to do was have fun with her sisters. Nests tried to remain poised but Y/N simply held onto her hands and pulled her sister into a dance. 
“Nesta, there is no one to impress here,” Y/N said, twirling her sister around. “Relax.”
Nesta’s shoulders seemed to relax the slightest amount as the musicians began to play a more upbeat piece of music. Y/N spun around on the dancefloor with her sisters and she began to beckon people to join them. 
Standing on the outskirts of the circle was Aliana and Y/N beckoned her over. She did so without complaint. Y/N released Nesta’s hands and gripped onto Aliana’s. “I am so glad you decided to join the celebrations.”
“You have invited most of the village!” Aliana exclaimed. “I expected to walk in and be amongst official court advisors.”
“I invited everyone from the village, and some of the surrounding ones,” Y/N said. “I would have invited more but I don’t believe that there would be time for them to travel, so I sent them all small wedding favours.”
“When I heard that there was going to be a High Lady of Autumn, I didn’t expect you to be so kind,” Aliana said. 
Y/N smiled. “I only want what is best for everyone. Everyone deserves to be seen and live in a safe space. I did not have that growing up so I want to make sure others do.”
“Thank you, Y/N,” Aliana said. “From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”
“There is no need to thank me,” Y/N said and caught a glimpse of someone over Aliana’s shoulder. “There is someone here to see you.”
Aliana released Y/N’s hands and turned to look behind her. She gasped as tears sprung to her eyes. “Is that-?”
“Your mother,” Y/N said. “I released her from her ban from the Autumn Court. She can come back whenever she pleases. She can even move back if she wanted.”
Aliana flung her arms around Y/N. “Thank you, Y/N. Nobody has ever done something ths kind to our family before.”
Y/N wrapped her arms around Aliana before gently pulling away. “Go and spend time with your mother. I will see you later.”
“Later? What do you mean later?” Aliana asked.
“Well, I will need a royal seamstress for the palace,” Y/N said.
Aliana stepped away. “That is a made up title.”
“You are correct,” Y/N replied. “I did just make that up. But that is your new title if you choose to accept it.” Aliana opened her mouth to reply but Y/N simply held up her hand. “We can discuss more about it another time. Go to your mother.”
“Thank you,” Aliana said and rushed toward her mother and threw her arms around her. Y/N smiled at the sight. 
“Come on!” Elain exclaimed and pulled Y/N in for another dance in the crowd of people.
Y/N happily complied as through the crowd she saw Eris. He held a glass of wine in his hand as he watched her with a smile. Y/N beckoned him to the dance floor but he shook his head and nodded in the direction of her sisters. Before Y/N could try to coerce him again, Lucine appeared at his side and he was sucked into conversation. 
Y/N turned back to her sisters and danced the night away.
***
The music was slower and a lot of people had retired home, though many still remained. Y/N’s arms were wrapped around Eris’s neck and her head rested on his shoulder as they gently swayed to the music. 
“My wife,” Eris muttered.
“My husband,” Y/N muttered in return.
“I don’t know how I ever lived without you,” Eris said, his voice full of emotion. “You are the other half of my soul.”
Y/N gripped onto him tighter. She still was overwhelmed with emotions, all melting together and she couldn’t distinguish what emotion was what. 
“You are a dream, Eris Vanserra,” Y/N said.
“And you are a vision, Y/N Archeron,” Eris replied.
“Are you upset that I didn’t take your name?” Y/N asked.
“My love, I do not care,” Eris said. “All I care about is that I can call you my wife and my mate.”
“I love you,” Y/N muttered, pressing a soft kiss to the side of Eris’s neck.
“I love you too,” Eris replied, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. 
The picture perfect image was interrupted by a small cough. Eris tensed and Y/N pulled away to look directly into Rhysand’s eyes.
“May I have a dance, High Lady?” Rhysand asked.
Eris held a protective arm around her waist as he glared at Rhysand. Her hand rested on his chest in a comforting manner. From the looks of things Rhysand did not look like he was here to cause any drama. Both Cassian and Azriel were standing on the outskirts conversing with Nesta and Feyre, Elain was nowhere to be seen.
“Of course,” Y/N said. “Eris, would you mind getting me a drink? I won’t be long.”
“Yes, my love,” Eris replied, pressing a kiss to her cheek. His gaze once again fell upon Rhysand before he turned and walked away, leaving both Y/N and Rhysand alone.
Rhysand swept Y/N in a dance, his hand resting on her mid back while he clutched her hand with his as he spun around the dancefloor.
“Why did you want to dance, Feyre is just over there?” Y/N questioned.
“I wanted to talk to you,” Rhysand replied.
“Then talk,” Y/N said bluntly. “I was happy spending time with Eris before you cut in.”
Rhysand looked around the ballroom. “How did you convince him to invite people from the village?”
Y/N frowned, offended on behalf of her mate and husband. “I did not convince him to do anything, Rhysand. I sent out the invitations and he helped me do it.” Y/N pulled away. “If the only thing you want to do is insult Eris to my face, then I will gladly leave you here.”
Rhysand sighed and caught her wrist. “I am sorry, Y/N. I truly am.”
“Look, I do not like you, Rhysand. I have made that abundantly clear time and time again,” Y/N said. “But you make my sister happy, happier than I have ever seen her so I must thank you for that. You also played a part in creating my adorable nephew and that is another thing I can thank you for. But you and I are not friends. Especially not when you insult Eris at every given chance, even after Feyre explained to you why he did the things that he did.”
Rhysand sighed once more. “I know, and I don’t expect you to forgive me.”
Against her better judgement, Isal gently took his hand in hers. “Listen, Rhysand. I do not forgive you now, and I probably won’t forgive you until many years down the line, first you must not continue to see Eris as his father. He will never admit it to anyone else but me but that is what he fears the most. He is scared of becoming like his father, sometimes he wakes in the middle of the night crying and screaming because nightmares plague him.” Y/N said. “You need to realise that the two have quite a lot in common. All you both wanted is to protect the ones you love.”
Rhysand remained silent. 
“If you actually want to see the positive changes already made in the court, because of me and Eris, you and everyone else are welcome to stay for the following few days, there are plenty of guest rooms available,” Y/N offered. “Now if you will excuse me, I am going to spend time with the person I love. As for you, try to at least have fun and not act like a sword is hanging over your head.”
With that Y/N stepped away from Rhysand and walked away from him, a weight lifted from her shoulders.
She found Eris standing by the drinks table and she hastily approached him, not wanting to be apart from him any longer. Eris immediately perked up as Y/N drew closer, pulling her into his side once she was in arm's reach. 
“What did he want to talk about?” Eris asked, lazily resting his arm around Y/N’s shoulders. 
“I think it was meant to be an apology,” Y/N said, taking a sip of the wine. “But I am sure he just spent the time trying to pick fault with you.”
Eris growled and looked in Rhysand’s direction. But all Y/N needed to do was link her fingers with his and his attention was instantly devoured back to her. 
“It’s our wedding day,” Y/N said softly. “Let us just spend the remainder of the night together and not worry about anything else, or anybody else for that matter.”
Eris moved his face closer to hers so his lips hovered just above hers. “I like the sound of that idea.” His voice was low and deep, the tone that always made Y/N weak at the knees. 
Eris connected their lips and Y/N abandoned her drink on the table and wrapped her arms around him. She did not care that they were standing where everyone could see, the only thing that mattered was Eris and the fact that he was hers. 
Y/N was the first to pull away. She rested her forehead on his. “I know we will be leaving close to two hundred people in the ballroom, but all I want to do is retire to our bedroom. I don’t even want to have sex, I just want to lay down in our bed and hold one another until we fall asleep.”
“I like the sound of that idea more,” Eris said and began to drag her through the ballroom and to the exit. 
“You always love the sound of my ideas,” Y/N commented.
“I do,” Eris said. “I could listen to them for hours on end and never tire of your voice.”
“You are just saying that because you love me,” Y/N teased.
“That is true,” Eris jokes. “When I am tired and you ask me if I am still awake to ask me a silly question, that is when I tire of your voice.”
Y/N laughed as she and Eris stumbled into their bedroom. Almost immediately, Eris began to unlace her dress and watched as it fell away and to the floor, leaving her in only a simple pair of underwear. 
“You are truly stunning,” Eris said. “I should tell you that more often.”
“You tell me that every day,” Y/N said, beginning to take off Eris’s clothing. 
“It is never enough,” Eris replied, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder.
Y/N shivered as he unclasped her bra and let it fall from her body. There was nothing sexually charged about the atmosphere, all Y/N and Eris needed was to hold each other and to feel each other. 
Y/N pulled him to the bed and shuffled to the centre of it, pulling Eris across with her. The contrast of the cool sheets and the heat emitting from Eris’s body made her relax and pull Eris closer so her head could easily rest in the crook of his neck. 
Now that they were in privacy, Eris’s entire demeanour changed. When he was surrounded by court officials, from their own court and others, and the fae from the village, he put up his High Lord front. But now, with only Y/N as witness, he stripped that all back and was fully able to be his true self. The side that only Y/N ever got to see. 
“My mate, my wife,” Eris mumbled. “I will never tire of saying that.”
“My mate, my husband,” Y/N responded, her lips brushing his neck. “I will never tire of saying it either.”
Eris drew small patterns upon her skin as the two lay there in silence. Y/N’s eyes were closed but she was not sleeping, she was simply enjoying the simple pleasure in being cuddled up to the love of her life. The love that she never thought would ever come true. The love she deserved. The love she was destined for.
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celestialtarot11 · 5 months
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Your future spouse 💰💍💗 fears, how you’ll meet, etc! Collab 💌
Hey friends! Today we’re doing a lovely collab with the mystical and wonderful @julyourwitch ! This was honestly such a cool collab with her 🤗💘 Ya’ll might wanna sit down for this one…its juicy 👀 we actually had some telepathy going on between us too as we were channeling 🤣 anyway, pick your pile below and enjoy this reading brought to you by us 💘🤗 feel free to comment, like and reblog. Your feedback is appreciated 😍 Happy picking!! (The last pic could not fit properly 😭)
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Pile 1 💰🤍: Channeled by the lovely @celestialtarot11 Hi pile 1’s! Welcome to your reading 🙌☕️ let’s get started. Your future spouse is someone who loves spending quality time with you and money💰 your first date could be during the winter season for some of ya’ll, or in the summer. It may involve ice cream as seen in the card 👀 this person may be at a physical distance from you and you’d probably drive a few hours to see them, or have to take the plane. They have no problem paying for the plane 💅🏻 This person mentally & emotionally has fears about the future when it comes to commitment, but I see they are open about this and are willing to work on this with you. They are sweet, reciprocal, open and very chatty 💘💅🏻 they love to sweet talk you and they have a very attractive smile and laugh. Something you’ll feel drawn to. They could have Leo placements and Sagittarius! This person before you meet could work through self sabotage issues, especially abandonment. They’re afraid someone will leave them first, so they’re afraid to show themselves to you but eventually your connection will grow wonderfully. Lots of mutual attraction, values, goals. This is a spiritual connection as well, how you two will meet will be spiritual. You may have visions of them, so will this person. You may feel them close by (their energy) and know they are coming to meet you soon. This is someone who can meet you at your level and show up 🙌 This person could be hesitant to show their feelings for you at first but this will be overcome. I believe spirit is divinely guiding this marriage, and you may actually manifest each other before meeting 💍☕️ this person may do it unconsciously, whereas you may have a whole sit down and journal everything you want in a partner. Honestly thats valid! Get clear on what you want before ya’ll meet, this is important spirit says. For some of ya’ll, ya’ll are ready for this marriage commitment now 💗 ya’ll deeply want this and know what it takes. Spirit is offering guidance and says you’ll get there. Thank you pile 1’s! Feel free to like, reblog and share your thoughts always 🤍 your picture below —>
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Pile 2 💼💍: By the lovely @celestialtarot11 Welcome dear pile 2’s! This is your reading if you felt drawn to this. This person could interact with your social media before talking. They may heart your story, stalk your account, and try to know all there is about you before talking you up. They want to get a better sense of who you are, but here’s the thing, social media only shows a small portion of our lives. This person is deeply curious and wants to have a stable connection or idea of you. Eventually this person will text you, find the courage to speak up and start something! It may catch you by surprise but maybe you’ll know this stalking was happening already. For those who do not have social media you could meet them at a wedding, reception, or a regular event. They will be the waiter/waitress, and serve you. But their eye will be on you. They want to know all there is throughout the event. This person overthinks a lot and feels alone and scared in the world, they have a tendency to think they have to do it all alone. This person desires support however and someone to understand them. They want stability, for someone to take their time ❤️‍🩹 they have been through a lot. Its easy for them to get overwhelmed as you two talk for the first time. But they dream of you a lot, daydreaming. They have lots of fantasies of you, and they may even place you on a pedestal. This person does have self esteem issues, this is something that will be worked on through your marriage. There’s an awareness that they want an intimate connection, but also feel they aren’t worthy of it too. This will come up to be healed throughout your relationship. The Share Tenderness card tells me they are someone who is reciprocal, giving, gentle with their hands 😉 and loves knowing how you feel. They will constantly want to know from a place of care. I’m seeing lots of texts when you’re first dating, hows your morning going? Hows your night? How do you feel about xyz? Tell me what you think. Lots of that. Incredibly sweet, but is afraid of loss and rejection. They want you to send pictures of you because they find you beautiful 💘 and attractive. They love to admire you. It’s not necessary sexual in nature although it can develop, but this person has very genuine intentions towards you when they approach you. Not necessarily lustful. I think a part of them is spiritual as well, but it’s in the baby stages of developing. So when they meet you, an awakening will occur. Or many, as much as its needed to grow this person 🤗 i think you two will explore the cosmos together. This person is dreamy, romantic, and has a nostalgic vibe to them. But they won’t show this first. The more you know them, the more they are a softie. Cancer vibes are strong here, so is Scorpio and Virgo 💅🏻 thank you so much pile 2’s!! Feel free to comment, like and reblog 🤗🤍 thank you for your continued support! Your picture below —>
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Pile 3 💪❤️‍🩹: Channeled by the one and only @julyourwitch ! Hello viewers, lovely souls and even readers(tarot or not) of the pile 3! Well, let's start with the energy that I feel most strongly from signs: Earth (mostly Virgo and Taurus) Fire (Aries & Sagittarius) and a bit of Air (Gemini & Libra) but I believe there are also some placements that dominate the following signs I mentioned above! I see here that the future husband (whether female or male is not something specific) has high self-esteem and knows how to take care of himself/herself, his/her values, his/her things, important people around him/her, knows how to behave and appreciate the other as well as be appreciated back! I feel like they like to wear good quality clothes and generally obsess about wearing things to feel good about themselves (they don't discriminate against any kind of quality clothes or anything, they've been through that 'poverty' phase too) I believe that respect and manners are everything for them and how much more they see it in those around them. But there is a little ego-pathy or beauty-pathy (I mean, they feel overly beautiful and even enjoy it, I wouldn't characterize them as narcissists anyway!) They appreciate what they have and acquire, mostly they are not ungrateful and this is very important for them not to be something they don't want to become or happen to them in a situation or people. I can tell that they have an obsession or tendencies to obsess over some object or person or something that they create and make it theirs! They really love stability, they don't want to rush at all or make rushy or sudden moves/decisions without properly processing and filtering them. They want everything to be on schedule, even their time off at home/work!Something I noticed now, they may want many other things, such as more money, stability, full schedule, clothes, household items, etc...but they wouldn't at all like to see the other person just like them. As if they'll get competitive or they might make a scene and leave without let you say a word ☠️ They enjoy and rejoice greatly in the positivity of life, the satisfaction and pleasure of what they have achieved and acquired/conquered! They are very optimistic people, they'll always want to help you with the honor and generosity in them (sometimes they will want to take something from you but not maliciously) it seems that they really went through a lot either in their childhood or growing up after puberty(or while they had puberty) and they had some intense situations with people who abused and manipulated them emotionally and physically. I heard very clearly "You know, I can read your mind and how you express yourself just by your facial/body expressions" No matter what they've been through, they know when to speak up if the other person is faking, lying, or trying to hide something. They are grateful for what life has taught them, because they always say "It's all in life, so with a smile and courage it gives you strength and peace within you" Their motto is like" I'll be stronger mentally and emotionally so why should I be scared or a coward?" WOA HAHAAHAH I LAUGHED HARD HERE I'M SORRY 😭😭
Omg pile 3, your future spouse has been really hurt, victim and in a tough situation indeed but they already know that it won't be temporary they're so self aware I can't 🥺🥺 As I said, they cherish and respect people that are honest and real with them,honesty and a stable psychological or mental state are everything to them because that is what they want to see in their partner or in the world. They went through a lot of transformations and they KNEW it would happen (not only self aware here but intuitive people as well) they knew that all these situations and the pain, the impasse all these unbearable and unexpected feelings would lead to a beautiful outcome/beginning, growth and acceptance for themselves and personal/emotional healing. Your future spouse also has been feeling also out (as if they're alone 😭) They also gotta need to understand that being happy or grateful with beautiful and unique appearance won't let you love yourself. (I heard "self love is needed too") Someone closed to them-some close person who played an important role in their lives, honestly treated them like garbage. It made them feel terrible about their bodies (which they are maintaining well so far) it made them think if they really know how to love and appreciate things and people the way they are (I felt a female figure here for some reason in this behavior ) taught them to believe that "If you want to have someone close to you or get married first and foremost you will look at appearance because that is everything, I don't want our image to be ruined". Nawwwww😭😭 they might overthink a lot because of all the shitty things they went through, they don't actually want to show fragile or weak in front of you, they really prefer to not talk about it(yet but slowly their feelings will exposed them once they feel comfortable with you) they'll also be/feel/show as if they're tired but no, not tired IT MIGHT BE THE FIRST GLANCE, but once you meet and understand them better they'll open their heart to you! (I heard" You know sometimes I need your attention.. "😭😭)
With the ace of pentacles upright and 6 of wands upright as extra cards I'm getting that they're open for new opportunities and new connections even professionally and personally too, also they really adore and admire people who value their life and respect their life and family too!
Take what resonates love and leave what it doesn't! Reblog&like it if you had fun &enjoyed!
Pile 4💘🤗: Hello viewers, lovely souls and even readers (tarot or not) of the pile 4! I didn't start yet and I heard very loud ("I do see you right away") AND I GOT CHILLS. I feel for sure that the signs here are fire signs, mainly Leo and Sagittarius, or these two strong fire signs may dominate their astrological chart and they may also have a little water sign here and there (or might have Scorpio or Cancer Rising or MC) That is crazy pile 4 cuz your future spouse is really REALLY interested or into spirituality, energies, reiki and you know when Isay intuition, right?? They ALWAYS FOLLOW THEIR INTUITION AS IF IT'S THEIR BESTIE! I feel that someone higher up has taught them about how to anticipate things or think without overdoing it I feel a motherly side or some feminine energy, it could be the feminine energy/divine feminine in them)! I feel like they didn't have enough friends or they didn't have a big circle of friends, probably just acquaintances and always a smile on their face wherever they go. Such crazy and dynamic energy first time Imeet/ sense. 0o They like to watch instead of talk, they prefer to observe instead of doing it(when it's needed tho) They're really really thoughtful and very wise with their words and how exactly can make you believe and count on them. (Not in a bad way obviously) They won't let you see through them first, they'll first analyze and read you first in oder to be open and free with you Iheard "You'll see if our energy matches or not boo") Sometimes though they make some mental or creative blockages LITERALLY OUT OF NOWHERE, they can have a mini breakdown with themselves and their feelings, but guess what.. THEY'LL BE BACK AGAIN! UNSTOPPABLE ENERGY HAHAHAHA Okay I'm not gonna lie but they might not have a program or some schedule for their plans and goals(as the pile 3) but they're visionary dreamers. Actually they changed a lot of places and traveled a lot and they're not lazy/bored to do it everyday! They're literally OPEN TO EVERYONE AND ANY OPPORTUNITY OR NEW PATH. Guys, pile 4 for real I really like this energy here They're ready for everything omg omg Iheard "Al or nothing. Nothing scares you more than doing nothing or leave it in the middle " I feel that nothing and no one scares them or stops them. They are fearless and want to convey to the world the message "Whatever you do in your life, whatever risks you take, never regret them. They make you strong both mentally and externally, take it as a victory and an experience!" They would like to have such a person by their side, but not quite like them. They're so open-minded and hardworkers for their goals and dreams(they also feel like young in their hearts 9(9) Why Ido keep seeing that they're connected with their higher self and very spiritual aware too? They also tend to be mysterious and secretive mostly their private life, they're so protective with those around them and with their partner(and their life too) but also open to see if the others have good or ill intentions towards them. Sometimes they might confuse their feelings with their intuition too. (They get so deeply in some things to get to know someone till they drain their energy which is very unhealthy) omg they often get misunderstood and disrespected- I CLEARLY HEARD - " I know, it's something from my childhood, it's fine it doesn't scare me at all. Everything is ahabit"
Pile 3,they might be extroverted but inside THEY'RE SOOOO INTROVERTED! I'm getting they have also an artistic way prolly dancing or singing or something related to. (I do see painting , music. Wow they wanna share&explore everything with everyone but sometimes their introverted shyness (not always tho) makes them freeze A BIT and think about it twice. Indeed they have real and few at least 2-3 friends max they trust a lot or dearly, They're so forgiving people and they not what they did wrong or right, they can also notice/find it very easily too. They like people who are outgoing, real and pure with their energy and soul&words too. They pay big attention to eyes and lips -
They currently have some kind of financial loss but Ido see them overcome it! PILE 4 THEY'RE S 0 0 0 0 0 ENERGETIC AND ATTRACTIVE ASF O M G THEY REALLY REALLY LIKE TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR BODY AND THEIR MUSCLES OSSJEJFIXJSJE They’re so active emotionally, physically and spiritually too! Not gonna lie but they enjoy being the center of attention too- HAHAHAHA
Once you meet them guys you won't regret it! They can also bring joy and love and support to others and those around them(even when they're with their partners too) THEY'RE SO ECSTATIC HAHAHAAH REALLY REALLY GOOD THO! They'll be there when you need them not only in the good times but also in your darkest times too, full of energy Iwish Icould describe more but I'm so happy and excited in, if you guys could see my smiley face you would understand!
With the 7 of cups rx and 4 of pentacles upright, it is telling me sometimes their choices or thoughts about their actions and in their love life might be chaotic and overwhelming cuz they confuse themselves and they need some clarity and some guidance and support from their partners) and must hear their inner voice too, and might be overprotective and jealous as well but not in a crazy stage/level of being jealous or possessive too!
Take what resonates and leave behind what doesn't! Reblog &like if you had fun and enjoyed!
Thank ya’ll so much for reading our post! @julyourwitch This was incredibly fun to do with you 🤗💗 Hope ya’ll enjoyed and feel free to like, comment and reblog!
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footballfanficwriter · 4 months
Text
Spill the tea
Summary:where Jude is invested in girl drama
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"Hello?"
"Hey girl, I've got hot tea for you"
"Yeah, spill it I'm listening"
I'm on a call with Ashley my Best friend who tells me everything, well we tell eachother everything, Ashley and I have been friends for the longest time, we grew up together and she was always there for me way before I even met Jude
"Ok so I just found out that Hannah is pregnant"
"What?"
"But the plot thickens, remember the boyfriend she said she was dating?"
"Yeah?"
"Well turns out he's not the father"
"If it's not him then whose the father?"
Jude walks into the house from  training and he waves at me, I wave back at him
"It turns out that Hannah was having an Affair" Ashley says
"An Affair with who"
I see Jude turn his head towards me like my sentence has just peaked his interest and he walks to where I'm sat in the sofa and sits next to me watching me with interest
"The Gardner"
"The Gardner?"
Jude grabs my phone from my ear and puts the phone on speaker
"Whose having an affair with the Gardner?" He asks
"Hey Jude"
"Hey Ash, how are you?"
"I'm good, how are you"
"I'm good,so whose having an Affair with the Gardner"
"Hannah"
"But wasn't she with that other boyfriend of hers that she was bragging about?" Jude asks
"Yeah she was, I guess she was cheating on him"
"But, he was such a good guy"
"I know right"
"But there's more tea to be spilled"
"What Is it"
"Alice"
"I swear there's always something happening in Alice's life" I say
"Alice decided that it was a good idea to get surgery, and because she didn't have the budget for it, she went to a makeshift surgeon, and it did not come out proper, it just looks weird honestly"
"Do you have a picture?"  I ask
"Yeah, hang on I'll send it just now"
Ash sends the picture and Jude and I look at it weirdly
"What has she done" he asks
"I'm speechless"
"I don't know whether to laugh or to cry" Jude says
"Why are her lips like that"
"Who ever did this to her needs to be arrested" Jude says
"Where is she now?" I ask
"At her house, she hasn't left eversince"
"Maybe we should check on her you know, see if she's doing fine" I say
"Yeah we should, we'll do it later"
"I'll make her something to try and make her feel better"
"Oh I just got am update on Hannah's situation"
"Turns out the Gardner is actually dating Haley, and he proposed to her"
"He proposed?" Jude asked
"So how are they going to work it out are they going to be one big polygamy Family"
"Even if the do that how is he going to afford to have a baby and have a wedding, knowing Haley she's definitely going to want a big extravagant wedding and she doesn't like sharing, so how is she going to share a husband with someone else?"
"What I don't get is how you're going to cheat on a person, then propose to the same person you cheated on, like do you know how much of a negative impact you have on a person"
"But Hannah is also in the wrong, she cheated on her boyfriend and went for Haley's then boyfriend and got pregnant by him, like that messed up, on top of that they are bestfriends" Jude says
"Ash you know I love you, but i could never be a sister wife with you, with anyone for a matter of fact"
"Don't worry, you're into footballers and I'm into NBA Stars totally different sport"
"Oh I forgot to tell you that Julia is moving" I say
"Julia is moving" They both ask
"Yeah she's moving back to France"
"Why?
"Something about being caught with the boss"
"She was caught with the boss"
"Well they weren't really keeping their affair a secret, they held hands in the office and they'd flirt in front of people, it was just a matter of time"
"But the boss?"
"Yup"
"Isn't she Lesbian?" Jude asks
"She's Lesbian?" I ask
"Isn't she in a relationship?" Ash asks
"She's in a relationship?" Jude and I ask at the same time
"That's crazy you know"
"It's insane actually"
"But hey you know what these aren't our lives and who are we to judge and Comment on other people's lives"
"True"
"So we'll meet in 2 hours to go and check on Alice?"
"Yeah, see you then"
I hang the phone up and look at Jude
"Let me go get ready I wanna see her myself"
"Jude when we get there please try to compose yourself until we get back home"
"Until we get back home?, I'll compose myself until we get into the car and drive off"
"Fine but if you can't keep your side if the bargain, I'll be very upset"
"Ok fine"
2 hours later
There's a knock
I walk to the door to reveal Ash
"Hey babe"
"Hey, you ready to go ?"
"Yup, just waiting for Jude"
"Ok, so what did you make Alice"
"Soup, cause you know I figured that she wouldn't be able to eat a lot of things that are solid"
"Yeah"
Jude walks down the stairs and greets Ash
Ash decides to ride in her own car on our way to Alice's house
When we arrive there I knock on the door and after a few seconds later the door opens revealing Alice
I turn to Jude and watch his eyes grow bigger, I then turn back to Alice
"Hey Alice we heard you weren't feeling well, so we thought we might check on you see how you're doing"
"Yeah, we heard what happened" Ash says
"Come in please"
"So how have you been" Jude asks
"Is it bad like really bad can you see I got my face done"
"No, it's not that bad, your lips just look more plumb" I say
I hear Jude clear his throat next to him
"I just can't stop looking in the mirror" she says crying
"Oh sweetie don't so that to yourself, I'm sure it will get better, don't bring yourself down like that" Ashley says
"Yeah Ashley is right I didn't even notice it until you brought it up" Jude says
"Really?"
"Yeah, he's right c'mon you must be hungry Y/n made soup for you I'll plate it up for you" Ash says taking the big bowl of soup from my hands and leading Alice to the Kitchen
"What are you doing" I ask him
"What, I thought we were telling her lies to make her feel better" he says
"Jude stop ok"
"But I haven't laughed ever since we got here, though it may be difficult not to I still haven't"
"Fine just stop with the side expressions and stuff"
"Oh c'mon you're going to stand there and pretend that all of this is not funny"
"Unlike you I know how to compose myself and keep my laughter in, and plus we're in her house how rude would it be if we just came in and laughed at her face"
He smiles a little almost like he's trying not to laugh
I sigh
"I give up on you"
We stay with Alice for 3 more hours until we announce that we have to go but Ash opts to stay with Alice until she's better and we promise to occasionally visit
As soon as we enter the car He laughs his ass off
"Let's not even talk about the lips did you see the eyebrows, she can't even lift her eyebrows"
"Wait until we get home"
"I'm not waiting until we get home I'm talking now"
"Jude"
"C'mon, it's not like she can hear me"
"Fine"
"Did you see the nose, it's like this" he says laughing and making the shape of her nose in the air
As much as I don't want to laugh at Alice Jude is not making it any easier not to so I just chuckle
"Her lips are like this, babe look" he says making his lips plump by squishing them together using his hands
I laugh at his comment and the rest if the way Jude and I are talking about Alice and all the things that could have forced her to do this to herself
The rest of the day is spent hanging out and Jude and i making dinner for ourselves then watching a movie then bed
As I'm changing into my Pajamas Jude speaks up
"Babe?"
"Yeah?"
"On a serious note though, l love you just the way you are"
I raise my eyebrow wondering where all of this came from
"Ok, why are you being weird"
"I'm not I'm just saying if you ever decide to get plastic surgery or a face lift, whatever it is, Just know that I love your body just the way it is and I don't want you to be pressured or feel like it's your obligation to make yourself look younger or have more curves or to look a certain way when you're with me"
"Aww, Jude Babe thank you so much, and to make you feel better and to put you at ease, I wasn't even thinking about getting anything on my body done so, you have nothing to worry about, in fact Alice's case just pushed me futher away from the idea"
He breathes a sigh of relief and walks over to me towers over me where he kisses my forehead
"I love you and your body"
"I love you too"
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Note
Am I the asshole for not letting my husband have a say for the guest list of our baby shower?
I (21 f) and my husband (25 m) moved very quickly in our relationship, much to the judgement of my sister. We moved in with each other after a month of dating and she basically told me it was a stupid idea. We also got eloped with no family or friends there four months after that. When I texted my sister we got married (yes, I texted everyone instead of called) she asked if it was a joke and when I said yes then sent a picture of marriage license as proof, she didn’t respond for days. She called me later which I sent to voicemail, which was basically her crying saying she always imagined she’d be at my wedding and was hurt. I was upset because no one was invited or even told about the engagement; that was the point of eloping. The rest of my family was pretty happy for us though and I focused on that.
We didn’t talk for months because I wanted an apology, or at least a congratulations on getting married. She texted me a few times about nothing important (she sent a few memes). An apology never happened, but I started to text her again because I found out I was pregnant and wanted her to know about it. I called her about it eventually and she was supportive.
Before the Not Talking stage happened, her and my husband didn’t get along. She has made multiple passive aggressive comments about our relationship in the past. There was one time she visited us that made my husband upset because she showed up with little notice and also insisted on visiting again when our cat gave birth to her litter of kittens. She talked about helping and I didn’t really think anything of it. My husband later said he was upset she acted like she knew our cat better than us based off a couple of other comments she made and didn’t like how she invited herself over. I don’t think she meant anything negative about it, but it was annoying she insisted on one specific cat thing we told her we had under control and didn’t stop pestering until my mom called the vet to ask for advise and the vet agreed with my husband and I about how we handled the cat situation. I’m not sure if I explained that well but I honestly don’t know how to describe it without going into too much detail. This is just background info.
My husband and I wanted to do a gender reveal for the baby. We agreed on the theme and had a general date in mind. I invited my immediate family, best friend, and his immediate family that he talked to (which only consisted of three people). He said he didn’t want my sister at the gender reveal and this caused a huge fight. He said if she was there then he wouldn’t show up and I could tell him the babies gender on the phone. I cancelled the gender reveal because I didn’t want to uninvite my sister when she hasn’t made any bad comments in months and also wasn’t about to have my husband not be there. In my mind, there’s zero point in having one if both parents aren’t there. We found out gender by having our doctor write it down on a paper and we opened it later by ourselves. We told everyone over the phone what we are having.
Now, I am pretty far along in my pregnancy and my family wanted to set up a baby shower for me. I let them and we set up a date for it. My husband and I talked about the baby shower multiple times and looked forward to it. I Facebook invited the same people I invited to the gender reveal to the baby shower and he wasn’t happy when he saw my sister was again on that list. Him and my sister has only seen each other one time during these months, which was at a funeral. My sister initiated a handshake which he accepted and asked how he was. He answered fine and that was the end of it.
The baby shower argument was the same for gender reveal. He didn’t want her there and he didn’t want to come if she was there. He said I shouldn’t want someone who has done nothing but disrespect both of us in the past year to be at this event and should get a say in who comes and who doesn’t. There’s no excuse for the things my sister has done and said but it felt wrong to exclude her. If she wasn’t going to be invited to the baby shower, then what was his opinion on our son’s birthdays and other events? We couldn’t do this forever. She hasn’t been rude in months but we never got an apology. I’m also a little bitter about it but I’m trying to not be harsh. At this point, I didn’t say much when my husband said she couldn’t be there. This is because we just got done with a different argument about something completely different and he said he was done about certain things. I said ‘like what?’ and he told me he didn’t want my sister at the baby shower.
He said he wouldn’t have invited anyone that has disrespected me and I shouldn’t either. It sounds fair but it also sounds very black and white. I get along with the family he talks to outside of family events. I don’t get along with a couple of extended family members but he doesn’t get a say in who was invited to those events and never talks to them outside of those family events even before we were together. I didn’t really say anything for my argument because I knew he wouldn’t agree with it anyway. This sounds calm but he was very angry and I was crying pretty hard. He asked over and over again if she was coming to the baby shower and I refused to respond. If I say she’s not coming then I’ll have to follow my word and uninvite her, probably causing arguments within my family. If I say she is then he won’t come. (I’m not sure if this is relevant but my husband and I are both autistic and have been known to shut down and stim when we’re upset). He said he’s tired of being disrespected when I refused to answer for 30+ minutes and wanted a divorce. He crumbled up our marriage license and took my wedding ring off my finger.
He didn’t say anything about the baby shower and started asking questions about the divorce. ‘How much do you want in child support? When do you want to do visitation? Etc.’ I refused to answer for a while but he kept asking and I mostly gave vague answers like ‘whatever you want’ all while still crying. I didn’t say much except to say he was staying and we weren’t getting a divorce.
I don’t remember what happened next and what I said, but he eventually said that I had one more chance to choose him because he’s always chosen me. This is true because he has put me first. He works a lot while I’m not working this pregnancy and always makes sure I eat and everything. I’m not sure what’s going on with baby shower. I think he said that she can come if I put up boundaries about being nice otherwise she can’t come. I think this will start an unnecessary fight because she hasn’t done anything in many months so it seems insulting. I didn’t say anything though. We fell asleep and cuddled and he apologized the next morning before he left for work. He said he was more mad that I refused to talk. I, personally, was more upset about the marriage license he crumpled up. I still didn’t say anything but ok. He still hates my sister and expects me to tell her to be respectful.
I don’t know what to think really. I sound like a jerk for not letting him have a say for baby shower. It is his kid too. I also don’t want to divide my family by not inviting my sister, but he’s also my family. I know he acted like a jerk for the argument but that doesn’t necessarily means he’s wrong about the guest list and having a say. So would I be TA?
What are these acronyms?
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1anxiousbeancrying · 7 months
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I honestly think Gwen Stacy has one of the coolest spider names, being ghost spider because it has so much meaning behind it in both the comics and the movie. Even though she hasn't been called ghost spider yet in the movies.
Something that is said a lot in the comics is that "death loves Gwen Stacy" because in most universes she is dead or loses everything. This also appears to be true in spider verse. The reason I love the name ghost spider is because it was her embracing that, a way of honoring the other gwens who's graves she visits, because to most other peters she is a ghost to them. Imagine her showing up to the spider society and seeing hundreds of people with your dead best friends face, only to realize that dispite him being the ghost back home it is really you who's the ghost it's you who was dead in most other universes.
Another really cool thing that also adds to the ghost spider names actually was shown in spider verse, when looking at the Canon events every one is looking at something different, Peter B looking at his wedding, Hobie looking at himself giving up on being spiderman, Jess looking at her freeing herself from the ruble, but gwens was different, the Canon event shown for Gwen was kravens last hunt.
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The image shown is a picture from the kravens last hunt redrawn from the comics from Gwen instead of Peter because this hasn't happened in gwens comics. In kravens last hunt kraven shoots and burys spiderman, they were buried for 2 weeks before digging themselves out of their grave. The image is of Gwen digging herself out of her grave and since it's the same suit from the first movie it means it's already happened. I think it's kinda symbolic that she digs herself from her grave, given the theme of the spider verse movies is changing your fate. Gwen being afraid to fall in love because she knows she will die if she does, they could change it together proving Canon events wrong.
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lovelybee666 · 3 months
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FLUFF ALPHABET DOGDAY
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A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
I already published it in one of my first writings but so that they don't bother to see it, they both play hide and seek, tag, maybe truth or dare, etc.
B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
He thinks everything about you is beautiful, from your eyes to your your toes (if you even have toes or feet).
C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
If you are sad he tries to cheer you up either by giving you physical or verbal affection, drawing, talking, watching something, whatever cheers you up.
D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
It sounds strange but he would like to have a family (he knows he can't 😞) he would like to see you and him with his little children but since he can't, he use his stuffed version as one and depending on how you are, you will play along or try (don't even think about telling him that it's stupid of him or I swear I will come to your house with a gun 👹 /j)
E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
He's in the middle 👍 there's not much to say honestly
F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
Look, I don't know what happened but it was probably your fault😒(just joking) their arguments probably don't go beyond a few raised voices, the second the discussion ends there are two options, the first is that he run to you and apologize or that he is lecturing himself with his tail down.
G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
He is VERY grateful and even thanks for things he shouldn't(I'm sorry this is short, I couldn't think of anything)
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
Imagine there is a door, that door symbolizes honesty now look at Dogday's door that door is so open that the door flew away and the frame too.
I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
I'm already doing a hc of him jealous so this will be more summarized and shorter, It's difficult for him to get jealous since he trusts you TOO much but if he is jealous he will try to get your attention hugging you and saying your name over and over again.
K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
The first kiss was okay although he had never kissed so at first it was a little awkward, as time went on his kissing skills improved(he definitely didn't ask Bubba, Cickin and Bobby for advice☺️ DEFINITELY)
L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?
He was nervous, he asked Catnap if he could come and support him, he complied as a good friend and he was a little far away but behind you with a sign that said "YOU CAN DO IT, DOGDAY!" or said what Dogday was supposed to say because he probably forgot(I promise to make a more detailed version soon in the not too distant future).
M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
He wants to marry you but since you and him are toys you can't but still in some creative way you got married, they used a fabric that they found with the help of Crafty and they got married, it was actually something funny and adorable to see (YOU DEFINITELY WORE THE SUIT AND DOGDAY THE WEDDING DRESS‼️‼️) by the way, the ring was some donut-shaped gummies.
N icknames - What do they call their s/o?
I already made a post about it but I wanted to make a little update here by adding "angel" and "star"
O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
It's VERY obvious, just watch him for a few seconds and you'll see how when you're close he moves his tail and seems happier, he stops what he's doing and comes to greet you giving you a hug while his tail moves at a thousand miles an hour, he's not sure if he's in love, he confuses his feelings and thinks maybe he just loves you as a close friend (spoiler, it wasn't)
P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
He's a big fan of PDA and even once probably shouted from somewhere quite long how much he loved you(a worker or Miss Delight scolded him because the children were supposed to be sleeping at that time), He loves to hold your hand and kiss your nose, he probably emphasizes 24/7 that you're dating him, he is very proud to know that you are dating him, If you are not a fan of PDA, he respects it and when you are alone he gives you a lot of kisses on the cheeks and hugs you.
Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
There's not much to say but technically you're second in command for dating the guy who's the leader👍 IDK MAN
R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
He is cliche AND creative, He likes to do very cliché but very creative things at the same time, They are going to have a date with red petals and candles, yes, but instead of candles they will be candles with fun shapes, the petals will be daisies (clearly I don't get them from a destroyed Daisy) and the chairs are chairs of frogs, he likes to do the same things that are romantically cliché but at the same time add things that have nothing to do with it or make it chaotic.
S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
ABSOLUTELY YES, it will help you in anything, believe 100% that you can achieve any goal you have.
T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
Every day he do something new with you, one day you are looking some ants working and the next you are creating a base to protect yourself from a non-existent deadly virus that he created with you.
U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
Depending on who you are, he probably knows a lot about you and is quite empathetic (I couldn't think of anything here, I'm sorry)
V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?
For him you are the most important thing in his life, his top is probably
3. Humans
2. His friends
1. You
W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.
When you give him the cold shoulder after an argument he goes to Catnap and Catnap has to deal with his best friend crying because you don't listen to him
X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
Y E S He is very affectionate although obviously there are days when he is less affectionate.
Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
He will be looking for things that remind him of you and hugs them while waiting for you to appear.
Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
He is willing to do almost anything for the relationship, his only limits are attacking or killing someone for obvious reasons.
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I FINALLY FINISHED THIS, now I will have to do other pending things
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yorsgirl · 15 days
Text
A Fairytale Wedding(2)
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Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader
Synopsis: After his wife finds out about his little side rendezvous, he needs to let you know about his true place in this setting. Leaving you with two realizations which you already knew.
Trope: Drama, Angst, Smut
Warnings: Cheating/infidelity, explicit smut - cunnilingus, fingering, overall toxic relationship dynamics, toxic friendship dynamics, mild manipulation, OOC, hateable characters.
General Warnings: No curse AU, usage of nicknames, no mentions of y/n, not proofread.
Word Count: 6.2k
<Part 1> <Part 3>
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The day Kazumi learnt the truth, she had witnessed a lunar eclipse.
Not that she knew what a lunar eclipse meant, only that it was intriguing. Strangely intriguing. Yet, her heart felt heavy when she saw the moon veiling the sun. Darkness befell over the city, only the periphery of the sun glowed aside the shadow of the moon.
Photography would have been in her mind if the sight didn't have her frowning and strolling back to the comfort of her room.
Maybe, that should have given her a hint.
It was late night, close to midnight and Kazumi was just following her skincare routine before bed. That's when she heard Satoru's phone go off, She could hear the faint sound of water hitting the bathroom floor; he wouldn't be out soon enough.
The ringtone subdued after a couple of rings. Taking a mental note to inform him about a call, she went back to apply the moisturizer on her face. The phone rang again.
She sighed, getting up and walked up to the nightstand. Her main motive to just answer it herself and inform whoever was on the other side that her husband is busy and to call back later. Her movements came to a standstill when she saw your picture (which she hadn't seen) flashing on the screen accompanied with your name.
Her eyebrows furrowed, lips curling down but before she could receive the call - it was cut off on its own. Still, questions lingered in her mind.
Why were you calling him? That too so late in the night? What's so troubling that you straight called him instead of her? What did you want from him?
His phone buzzed with three notifications. The messages were from you, considering she saw - star, written over it. Curiosity gnawed at her, urging her to take a look. He wouldn't be out until ten minutes or more. He wouldn't even know that she went through his phone without his knowledge.
But she restrained herself.
No, this is a bad idea.
Its invasion of privacy.
Kazumi didn't want to suspect her husband only for him to come across as innocent The guilt would eat her raw and her moral compass made her hesitate. Yet, her gut was twisting in unimaginable ways.
No, no, she shouldn't be doing this. It will make her a bad wife. She trusted him completely. He would never do something like that. He loves her, now and always. He says that everyday before leaving for work. Besides, its you - you, her best friend. You were on her side, so happy for her on her wedding and everyday later. You called him, maybe you couldn't reach out to her and decided it would be better calling her husband. Yeah, yeah, that… that must be it…
That is it.
Just one look. That'd be enough. Just one look. That's what it will take. Just one look. Nothing more. Just one look. She'd never touch his phone ever again.
She wished she never taken that look.
.
[Today]
You're coming over next week right? (20:17)
plan's that (20:18)
if any changes i will let u know (20:18)
Don't back out last minute (20:18)
geez, not my problem if my boss topples me with work at the last minute (20:19)
You sure he doesn't hate you? (20:19)
From the looks of it, I wouldn't be surprised if he did (20:19)
hah! tell me about it (20:20)
from what i know u hate him more (20:20)
It's more like I enjoy getting on his nerves (20:20)
Imagine him finding out that his employee is sleeping with me (20:20)
honestly can see him seething (20:20)
n e ways lets leave him out of it (20:21)
As you say princess (20:21)
Be here next week without fail (20:21)
aren't u quite a dare devil? (20:21)
wanting to fuck me on your wife's birthday (20:22)
here i thought u loved her (20:22)
You are trying your luck star (20:22)
Keep that attitude in check (20:23)
oh really? And what if I don't? (20:23)
I might just need to punish you (20:23)
oh my can't wait for it (20:24) Liked message
2 missed calls (23:49)
Satoru (23:50)
Call me back later (23:50)
its important (23:50)
[yesterday]
[Image attachment] (13:08)
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The next thing Kazumi knew was that she was standing before her family mansion.
The metal gates opened once the guards saw their young madam on the doorstep. Usually, she'd look and greet them but not tonight. She made a beeline towards the main entrance of her home, almost tripping and scraping her knee on the cold, hard concrete.
The doors opened to reveal her mother who had rushed downstairs once she the maids informed her about her daughter's arrival.
"Dear, why have you-" Her words fell short when Kazumi wrapped her hands around her mother, burying her face in the crook on her neck.
She cried.
She cried. She screamed. No sobbing. No silence. She was crying.
Unending tears rolled down her cheeks, she couldn't make out anything over the blur that plagued her eyes. The cracked barriers had shattered once she saw her mother. Her self-control reached its limit once she heard her soothing voice. The voice she had heard since her childhood.
"Zumi," Her mother wrapped her hands around her trembling body. She carresed her head in her wrinkled, warm, motherly hand. Concern etched her visage. Stomach churned with fear - resulting from her daughter's cries and tears.
"Zumi," She called again, in a much softer tone now. "What happened? Why are you crying?"
Her screams echoed through the silent corners of the mansion. She shook her head, she couldn't give an answer.
What would she even tell?
"Tell me, dear. What happened? Tell me, please."
What did she want to hear? Something she couldn't even believe herself? How can she talk about it to her mother? How can she explain it to her mother? How can she explain something which she couldn't understand? How could she explain something which she refused to utter on her own?
"Mom," she let out a choked sob, trying to contain her voice - failed.
"Kazumi, dear- you're scaring me, now." She held her daughter in her arms tightly. Her tears drenching her shirt but that was the least of her concern. All she needed to know was the reason for her daughter's tears.
She cupped her daughter's face, wiping away the tears. "Tell me. I am your mother, right? What happened?" Kazumi shook her head, her lips trembled as she held her mother for the much needed support. "Did Satoru say something to you? Did both of you get into another argument? What happened?"
Arguments? Insults? Oh, how much she wished that was all it was. She'd have been so glad if it were just them. If only it were another mere argument. If only he'd called her one or two many derogatory terms. Hell, she'd be even fine if he would have hit her in the moment of anger.
Maybe then there'd be pain; but not this pain. This searing pain like someone just ripped out her heart and chewed on it before her eyes.
Still, it would have been fine.
And here, her mother was questioning her.
She needed to give her an answer. But the truth was too difficult to utter. She needed to lie.
"Zumi,"
That old, lovely nickname again.
"Tell me."
That concerned tone.
"What happened?"
Motherly instincts on rise again.
"You are scaring me."
Her homely fragrance.
"Please."
How could she ever lie to her mother? How could she ever lie in her home? How could she ignore these sentiments?
Is it even possible to brush off this tone, this visage, this embrace, this fragrance, this woman?
"Mom, scold me, hit me, do whatever you want just- just don't ask me what happened."
===
Few Years Ago
"She'll be here, soon."
Chestnut brown eyes glowed under the neon lights falling on them. Searching for a familiar figure among the hoard of people in the club. The wait was killing her and her boyfriend.
"Mhm," A groan erupted from the man beside her.
"Star said just five more minutes." The woman offered a tight-lipped smile. Wishing silently on her mind for you to arrive soon. "She must be stuck in traffic."
"You've been saying that for the last thirty minutes."
"This time's for–"
"If she doesn't get here in the next five minutes, we are leaving." He rolled his eyes, his tone was tinged with a layer of seriousness.
Satoru indulged in sipping the tequila shot by resting his face on his knuckles and elbow perched on the tabletop. Stronger than most drinks but not a problem for him, he had a high alcohol tolerance. Besides, this was the only one which could keep him from dozing off while waiting for this friend of his girlfriend.
He was bored out of his mind, on top of that everything was irritating him out of his mind. Like why didn't his drink have more ice? Why was the music so loud? Why was it so humid inside this club? Why did they decide to meet in a club? Why did he even agree to meet this friend? Why couldn't he just get Kikifuku sweets? Why–
"Am I late?"
All of a sudden, the noise from earlier faded into background as the sound of your reached him.
Cerulean blue eyes met yours under the neon lights, shimmering with a mysterious allure. Making a silent promise through gaze alone.
He held your form before his eyes, sculpting the masterpiece in his mind. Minding each detail with precision. A wild flower, perhaps even an untamed spirit.
That's what you were.
A coy smile played on your lips as you watched the ivory-haired man starstruck, captivated by your essence. You took a look at him from bottom to up, humming to yourself.
"I hope I didn't keep you waiting."
Your best friend stepped up to you, engulfing you in a hug before her partner could even muster up any words. You returned her embrace, mind to not touch her skin.
"Thank God you came." She beamed, letting go of the hug.
"I don't go back on my words, you know." You quirked an eyebrow as she nodded.
"I know, it was just... he was getting impatient." She answered truthfully, motioning to her boyfriend. "And convincing him to come here to meet you was damn difficult."
"Was it now?" You questioned, following her gaze.
Satoru's mouth curved into a smirk as he stepped down from the barstool. His height towering over both of you.
"I was," He admitted. "But I can now tell all that convincing was worth it."
Your eyes sparkled with amusement. Momentarily take a glance at your friend before darting your eyes back on him.
"Gojo Satoru," He said, offering his hand which you accepted gratefully. Followed by your pleasantries, you rolled out your name.
His eyebrows furrowed, he said your name. Once. Twice. Testing it on his lips. And for some reason, he liked how the syllables fit his mouth.
"I thought your name was star."
You pursed your lips, sighing. God, that annoying nickname again. It's all that damn bitch's fault. She must have addressed you that way in front of him.
"Star isn't my name, more so a name which she–" You motioned to his girlfriend who chuckled softly. "–has given me."
"Nickname?"
"Nickname."
Curiosity plagued him. He furrowed his eyebrows and he questioned. "I see... but why star?"
"She saw me looking at the stars once–"
"It's more times than I can count."
You nodded with a fake smile. Each second was getting worse. You stifled the urge to roll your eyes. For even if you wanted to curse at her, you couldn't. You have an image to keep.
"Just what she said." You continued, "From there that nickname originated."
He leaned a bit down towards you, running his tongue over his teeth. He raised an eyebrow, dropping the tone of voice to one of seduction. "Then I am sure, you wouldn't mind me calling you star either."
Great. Just another person to address you in ways you didn't want to be addressed. Still, you couldn't miss the tinge of suggestion in his voice. You glanced at the woman(she didn't have a reaction) before moving your irises back to him.
You shrugged, "I don't see why not? I mean, your girlfriend already calls me that even if I told her not–"
"And I am never going to stop," She declared, placing her hand on her hips. Smirking at you.
"You know..." You sighed, biting on your inner cheek. "Sometimes you should listen to me."
"And if I don't?"
You stayed silent. Waiting for the tension to rise in the air before you admitted.
"I'll make you regret your choices."
Damn, that's hot.
That's what Satoru thought when you made that threat. For even if you played it off later with the eye roll and the smile, the evidence of your seriousness wasn't missed. It had him captivated to you. Restrained by shackles of not only your allure but your carriage and comportment.
You are an intriguing one.
"If I may interrupt," His deep tone broke you and Kazumi out of your silly back-and-forth banter. All of his focus was on you. He ignored his girlfriend for the second when she called his name.
"You like the stars?" He asked.
You hummed, shaking your head. "The stars are beautiful, surely but... what I love the most is," You paused, fixing your gaze on him then without breaking the eye contact, "The moon."
"The moon?"
"The moon."
He snickered, straightening up. This was better than he imagined.
And he needed more. He will have more.
He was sure of it.
"Oh god, can we not talk about the sun, moon, and stars at this time? Thank you," Kazumi interrupted in between. "I will get us some drinks, bill's on me."
She walked away before any of you could even make a noise of protest. Silence befell over both of you. Gratefully, the music playing in the background didn't make it awkward.
You could feel Satoru's eyes on you. Checking you out. Still, you made no move to stop him.
Well, if he wants to appreciate your beauty then he can. Who were you to stop him?
From the moment he first spoke– nay, flirted, you could see a hint of his intentions. To flirt with other women in front of their partner and your friend didn't seem to stop him.
You wondered if she was just too secure in her relationship or if he was just using her due to her obliviousness.
The latter seemed more believable. What would a good friend do in this situation? Probably, warn her friend of her partner's intentions. Or maybe, have her create boundaries with her boyfriend.
Hmm, seemed like a lot of work. Good lord, you weren't the good, supportive friend.
"I must say,"
You were pulled out from the reverie of your thoughts. Satoru's velvety voice fell on your parched ears. You glanced at him, raising an eyebrow with a silent question marked over your mien.
He delicately took your hand, holding your fingers. He brought it up and brushed his lips over your knuckles.
"Your name suits you, star."
.
This was madness.
Satoru Gojo was kissing you.
Nay, he wasn't kissing you. He was devouring you.
Almost like a lost, starving traveler who had been offered food after being found.
It was a shared desire when both of your lips moved in perfect sync, bursting with flames and passion.
Months had passed since your first meeting and the intentions you deciphered on that encounter hadn't seized. Perhaps, they had increased. Lust-induced touch gliding over your skin akin to fire burning you.
With stolen glances, accidental touches and coincidental meetings, you supposed. But the desire had grown, on both sides. Almost overflowing the barrier, luring you to give in to temptation. 
And before you knew it. You were giving into this temptation.
His warm lips pressed against yours in a fiery, fervent kiss. His tongue lapped inside your mouth, exploring each corner. He held you via your nape, back pressed against the wall of his bedroom. The support was needed cause you could feel your knees growing weak.
No, you shouldn't be doing this. He is your friend's boyfriend. You should stop it. Stop it now. Stop it before it escalates into something worse.
This is wrong.
For even if you disliked Kazumi, had been bitching about her behind her back, still you shouldn't do this. Sleeping with her partner without her knowledge is a step over your boundary.
Stop him. You should stop him.
But you can't.
Not when he has his long, calloused fingers brushing over the fabric of your panties. The slick flowed out of your entrance, dampening the garment. You moaned in his mouth, causing him to smirk against your lips.
Fuck, no. This was getting worse with every second. Well, not worse in the sense that he was doing a bad job. You'd be lying if you admitted that cause he knew what he was doing. And God, wasn't it good?
You had been single for too long and pleasuring yourself alone could only get you that far. Hence, when his sinful hand played cruel ministrations over your folds, pushing the garment aside, you couldn't do anything but bite your lip and throw your head back; hitting your head against the wall.
You heard him snicker, the hand on your nape moved to your head. Gripping on the roots of your hair, his knuckles shielded your head from the wall. "Easy there, princess. I don't want you getting hurt."
You breathed out heavily, your nails dug into his bicep, leaving crescent moon shapes behind. You found your voice, even through your whimpers. "Ngh... w-we shouldn't be do‐ nhh- doing th-this."
He looked down on you, inadvertently slowing the pace of his finger inside you. A smirk spread on his lips when you cursed under your breath, involuntarily pushing your hips forward.
You wanted this as much as him.
"Are you sure, star? You want me to stop?"
Yes.
You groaned, "Fuck you, Satoru." Shifting on your legs and clenching your thighs, you tried to push his digit inside which moved in an agonizingly low pace. 
"Your wish is my command, princess." He lowered himself on his knees before you. "Just after I get a taste of you."
And before you know it, your panties are ripped off and thrown to some corner of the room. You don't have the time to react when Satoru puts your right leg over his left shoulder - giving him a clear view of the reddened, juicy skin that dripped with honey. The smell of your arousal hit him, he exhaled a sharp breath which hit your folds. You groaned, tugging on his hair.
The desire was palpable.
Whether it was the growing bond between the both of you or simply the sexual tension... whatever it was, it brought you here. And damn, looking down on him now, when he had a shit-eating grin on his perfectly gorgeous face; all you wanted to do was ride his tongue.
You were sure millions of girls would pay him just to be in this position.
Still, your morality clashed with your desires. For one side begged you to stop this and the other had no intention of stopping.
"Oh c'mon, star. Just one taste." Satoru whined, he had made himself comfortable between your soft thighs. Groping and fondling the soft flesh as he salivated at the sight of your sweet cunt.
You can't miss the expression on his face, your mind going blank as your rationality almost drowned in this game of desires. Even if you were screaming at yourself to stop it, a louder, firmer tone in the back of your mind was screaming to let him continue.
"What are you even scared of? That she will find out about this?" He hummed to himself, "Mhm, nah... that can't be, you don't even care about her."
"Don't assu–"
"You can't fool me. I can see right through you, princess." He snorted, the low rumble hit your nerves.
Damn it, you needed the release, you needed his fingers, his tongue or whatever.
You needed him.
"But," He stretched on the word. "Isn't it thrilling to do it with me behind her back?"
You hate how correct he is.
The thrill of it all was all the more arousing. To share such a sinful affair with your best friend's boyfriend of all people. Morality, logic, boundaries? For tonight (and many more nights) they can go to hell. Though you can say that all you feel is indifference for her, the temptation of giving in to your desires skyrocketed at the moment. And if he wanted the same thing as you, who were you to deny him?
The thrill of this peril had you buckle your hips towards his face - You nodded.
Satoru didn't wait for a second before opening his mouth to latch on your folds. His tongue moved over the muscle tissues like it was meant to be there.
He spit on your clit, rolling his tongue over it like a French kiss. A satisfied hum left his lips when he tasted your sweet nectar.
You tugged on his white locks, pushing his face deeper into your folds. Your loud moans and whimpers rejuvenated in the room, cutting through the sexual tension that burnt the room.
He pushed a finger in your tight hole, his cock bulging in his boxers at the view of your cunt sucking him in, just right. You are shivering with the unbridled pressure, maximized when the pad of his thumb presses over your clit.
Satoru cursed under his breath, pushing his tongue inside your slick folds, lapping on the honey-filled moisture of your arousal. His cock was raging, waiting for release.
All he wanted was to be inside you.
But no, not now. He needed to taste you first. He needed to know what your release tasted like. He needed to savor the flavour in his mouth. He needed to see how you looked, what you did, when you'd climax on his face. He needed to know if you tasted just as good as you smelt.
His licked and sucked on the bundle of nerves, pushing two of his fingers in and out.
You were nearing your release and you could feel it, tugging onto his hair. Your shortened breath and loud moans were enough evidence.
"Keep your eyes on me when you cum." He ordered and instinctively, you complied.
Your eyes met his lust-filled blue irises, darkened with passion and temptation. Your hips jerked and the fluids flew out.
Satoru licked up the liquid with his tongue, gulping it down and almost moaning in delight at the taste.
He was right, you tasted just as sweet as your fragrance.
===
You were awoken from your slumber with loud banging on your door.
Adrenaline coursed through your veins, causing you to wake up wide due to the noise. The assault on your door left you in a state of panic. Hurriedly, you had pushed yourself off your bed, tip-toeing to the door and peeking at your midnight guest from the spyhole - Satoru, a breath of relief left your lips. But the unease settled in again when he strolled inside as soon as you opened the door.
Locking the door behind your back, you followed him to your living area. His shoulders shook, blue eyes observed each and every corner of your residence; he was looking for something to distract himself A habit of his you picked up on over the years, looking for distraction whenever he'd be distressed.
What could have been worrying him so much?
You placed a hand over his shoulder, "Sato-"
"She knows."
It was like a punch to the gut.
The air knocked off your lungs with mere words that left his lips. Disbelief imprinted all over your face, eyes widening significantly at the news. Your fingertips trembled with apprehension, hand falling off his shoulder as if it weighed ton.
"What?" You asked, tone lowered to a whisper.
Satoru's eyes didn't meet yours, he clenched and unclenched his jaw. Running his hand through his unruly hair, he tugged at the locks. A quietude prevailed, broken by the ticking of the wall clock  - 1:40 AM.
He clicked his tongue, turning on his heels towards you. "She found out." He confessed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
No, this couldn't be. No, you refused to believe. How could she ever find out? It had been so many years and there was no fall through in this little rendezvous of yours. The lengths and methods both of you had treaded to keep this affair a secret was almost flawless.
"Tell me you are joking." His silence was enough of an answer but you were in denial. This couldn't be.
He groaned, shaking his head. "I wish, I was."
You breathed in through your mouth heavily. Sitting down on the couch. You were sure you'd have fallen otherwise. Legs too weak after and mind blank after the bombshell Satoru just dropped on you.
This couldn't have happened. But it did. And in this mind numbing news, only one question rang through your mind.
"How?" You asked.
He sighed, glancing up at the ceiling tiredly. Recounting the events that had gone just an hour ago.
"You called," He began. "My phone was in the room… so was Zumi. She must have gone through it while I was showering. She saw the texts and-"
"Texts?" You abruptly interrupted him. "What the fuck do you mean by texts? Didn't you delete them?"
"I did but-"
"But what? That means you didn't."
It was ridiculous. After all this time if she were to find out through some texts he forgot to delete, then its blatant irresponsibility on his part. Countless times you had reminded him to erase them. Leaving no clue, whatsoever for anyone to know. One of the reasons, this affair could stretch on for so long. Cause there was nothing to catch on. The simple rule both of you followed to remove the other's notes, voice recordings, pictures anything from your devices. Even if anyone were to go through them without your knowledge, they wouldn't be able to catch on.
"You're such a irresponsible idiot," You continued, cleching your fists, you stood up and took a few towards him. Jabbing at his chest, you pressed on, "What do you even have to say for yourself now, huh? Your recklessness cost us this."
He stared down on you, azure eyes darkening into a glare. "For fuck's sake, would you even let me speak."
You responded with equal fury, shooting a similar scowl at him. "Well then, speak. Explain yourself. Why didn't you fucking delete those texts?"
"Only today's," He said with conviction, his jaw ticked with annoyance. "Rest were deleted."
Fuck it being only today's message or the ones from a year ago. The fact remained that he didn't delete it.
"Today or not it should have been deleted." You scoffed, darting your eyes away from him. You walked over to your center table, chugging down loads of water from the bottle. You muttered, "Its all your damn fault."
He strolled up to you. Grabbing your jaw, he forced you to meet his eyes. "So we are playing the blame game now?" He spat out, cursing under his breath.
"You deserve to be blamed."
"You fucking bitch," His grip tightened, causing you to wince in pain.
Clutching his wrist and mustering all your strength, you jerked his hand away. "You need to do better in the curse game, Gojo Satoru."
And if he wasn't furious before, he was now. Each second with you was fuelling his rage. "Blamed? I deserve to be blamed? Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?"
"Not the reckless idiot who got us exposed."
The syllables of your name rolled off his lips in a warning. Anymore provoking wouldn't do you any good. You knew that. But your sense of rationality had drowned under the flood of anger.
"Oh please, it's all your damn fault. If only you had listened and deleted everything then we wouldn't have been here."
He scoffed, "All my fault? If we are going on advices then let's go to the base level" He paused, eyebrows scrunched up. "Who the fuck told you to call me?"
You paused, clicking your tongue. The call that time had been a matter of urgency, "It was impor-"
"What's so god damn important that you couldn't wait another fucking day?"
You didn't throw back a response. For all you knew, this wasn't the correct situation to inform him of that news. The predicament both of you were stuck in was more concerning than that.
You groaned, exhaling out the air. "Leave it, we can talk about that another time."
"No, we fucking can't." He exclaimed. "Go on, say it. Why the hell did you even call me?"
"Not now" You pushed back a strand of your hair. "Later, we have other things to worry-"
"Spit it out," His voice lowered to a dangerously cold tone. His blue eyes fixated on your visage like he were a predator.
Unknowingly, a shiver ran down your spine with the look you evoked from him. You had seen him like this previously too, but the occasions had been rare and you weren't ever in the receiving end of it; until now.
Taking in a sharp breath, you confessed. "I received a transfer letter."
You remained silent for a few seconds, expecting him to speak or something. But he remained stoic, his face void of any emotions. You decided to continue, "In a month I am supposed to leav-"
"That's it?" He cut you off. The plain tone of voice catching you off guard.
What? You were getting transferred, supposed to leave almost in a month and he asked you that. The least you had expected was some concern, not nonchalance.
"Out of Japan."
"And?"
And? And what? Was that not enough? You were leaving for god's sake and this was how he reacted.
You couldn't wrap your head around this reaction but before you could speak of anything more, he chuckled A terrifying chuckle, if you may add. Far from jovial, it almost sounded sinister and humourless.
This was no joking matter. Why was he laughing?
"Wh-"
"That was it, huh? Just some stupid transfer letter and you thought it'd be a good idea to call me, huh?" The corners of his lips quirked up. The mockery evident in his voice.
You swallowed a lump at this bizarre reaction. You didn't expect pleads or heartfelt sweet (empty) words. Perhaps, acknowledgement or an ire of care, that'd been enough. These taunts were jabbing at your heart.
"It's not stupid. I am leaving."
"And what do you expect me to do? " He narrowed his eyes. "You are leaving then fucking leave."
It's funny how words can hurt more than hits.
"Satoru, why are-"
"This was your important thing? The urgent information you couldn't just rest for a day or a week?" He paused, letting out another chuckle. "For this thing, she found out and you were blaming me when you are the one at fault.
That hit the wrong place.
"You aren't innocent either," You retorted back. Rolling your eyes, you stated firmly, "Besides, it doesn't matter anyways. That plastic bitch was supposed to find out about it one day or the other."
Momentarily, you saw how his eyes flickered with wrath, "Careful of how you address my wife."
His wife? Like he ever fulfilled his vows to his so called wife. He was never the beloved partner, let alone a husband which he always projected himself to be. And now he comes for her defence when you called her a plastic bitch. Like she wasn't one in the first place.
You scoffed," Your wife? Don't go around a devoted husband now that your shit got revealed."
"She's still my wif-"
"Wife for namesake." You declared, daring him to defy you. "A wife you don't care about, let alone love. A wife you had to wed cause she's the society's perfect girl."
He took a step towards you, face etched with nothing but unaltered hatred. He looked down on you like you were a bug. A bug he can crush under his shoes. "You are testing my patience, star. Don't go around assuming my feelings for her. You don't know a damn thing about me."
"I know more about you than she'll ever know," You yelled, clenching your fists tightly.
Hell, how could he even accuse you of that? After the years you spent together, from the secret meetings to the confessions in the dark. He told you secrets about himself which you doubt he'd ever utter before his own wife. He let you in parts of himself he never showed anyone else.
"And I know that you have no feelings for her."
This man before you had spent his wedding night with you instead of his wife. Any sane man who admitted to have genuine feelings for their spouse would never do such a thing. And Satoru Gojo was insane to assume that he still loved her after lying with you day after day. To hell, with every bullshit spat by the podcasters that men could sleep with other women without losing an inch of feeling for their main one.
He remained silent, his visage rendered expressionless. The tension in the room was high, enough that if it were to take a physical form then you'd be able to slice it with a knife. You didn't know what was going on in his mind but you wished you could have been a mind reader to just take a glimpse in it. Anticipation gnawed at you, the silence overwhelming.
Come on. Speak. Say something. Anything, please.
"And you think I have feelings for you?"
It would had been better if he stayed silent.
As soon as he uttered those words, the brave façade you had put on until then fell down. It shattered, crumbling to pieces. Deep down you knew, he harboured no feelings for you still this stab of indifference pierced through you. Deeper than any blade would ever.
"Don't be delusional, star."
It was a mistake. You should have known your limits. You should have stayed silent. You should have kept your emotions in check. You should have never provoked him.
"If you think so…"
No, you don't think so. You know what you are in this situation. Howsoever humiliating it is to address yourself with such a name. But it’s the truth.
"Then let me remind you.."
You don't need any reminder. You are well aware of your place. He doesn't need to speak. Stop speaking.
"Of who you are…"
You have already made it clear. Stop.
 "You were always a game."
The door to your apartment slammed shut as Satoru walked away.
Leaving you standing alone in this quandary. You couldn't speak. Nor could you move. You were a statue. All you could do was stare. Stare at the path he took to leave.
Your senses returned when the cold wind hit your face.
And then… you laughed.
Your laughter echoed through the desolate corners of your house. It was so damn funny, near to the joke even the most famous comedians couldn't make.
The punch line was the cherry on top.
You were always a game.
So funny. So, so damn funny. You don't think you have ever laughed like this in years.
How foolish of you to even believe you could have been anything more. How foolish of you to even expect anything. How foolish of you to even dream.
The chortles were endless. Filled with mockery, despair, taunts, shame. Still, they were your cackles.
To live is to laugh. To laugh is to live.
You sunk down to your knees, something wet gliding down your cheeks. You found water on your fingertips when you wiped it away.
Water? Why was there water on your face? You weren't showering neither was there any leak in the ceiling then why this water?
The laughs echoing in your ears soon turned to a sound you didn't quite like. Your chest burnt and your eyes stung. What was this? What was happening?
You are laughing then why does this ache follow. For all you remember, only your stomach is supposed to hurt and your jaw for laughing so much. You must gasp for breath and you were but it wasn't the same.
A second later, two realizations dawned on you.
First - you weren't laughing. You were sobbing.
Hysteric sobs erupted from you with no trail of ending. You pulled on your hair, shutting your mouth with a palm. Biting on your lips just to stop these wretched tears and sobs.
You were always a game.
More sobs. More tears. They just don't stop. They are just so annoying.
Then the second realization hit,
You were always the other woman.
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Note: lol its the longest word fic which I wrote till date and it isn't even the end. This will have a part 3 then climax. Anyways! Thanks for reading. Likes and comments are appreciated <3
Taglist: @sadmonke
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t-lostinworlds · 1 year
Text
Be(tter) In Reality With Me | Bucky Barnes
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》 PAIRING: bucky barnes x pregnant!female!reader
》 TROPE/GENRE: established relationship (marriage), angst, hurt/comfort, fluff
》 SUMMARY: Bucky needed to remind you how he would never ever betray you, especially when the him in your dreams was showing you otherwise.
》 WARNINGS: bad dreams/nightmares, pregnancy & baby stuff, mentions of: infidelity, miscarriage, anxiety, toxic past relationships; implied smut at the start (nothing graphic), pet names (doll, my love, sweetheart), overprotective!husband!bucky (he’s a hoverer), some hurt, so much comfort, very fluffy moments a.k.a. happy ending obvs.
》 WORD COUNT: 6.5k+
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A/N: this is another unplanned one, like i really just started writing this a few days ago. well, i’ve been toying with the idea for a while but i just never got around to writing/thinking of the perfect premise for it. i coud’ve gone the crack route but you get angst instead. but anyway, this is barely proofread, idk how this turned out. and i know ‘husband fever’ isn't a thing but i honestly got it while writing this soooo hope you enjoy it too!
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📍 BLOG NAVIGATION ✩ B. BARNES MASTERLIST ✩ MAIN MASTERLIST ✩
⊱ ─────.⋅♚ *。・゚.★. *。・゚✫*.
The disappointment was sharp in your chest as you trudged towards the front door of your home, fingers curled around an unopened envelope that felt heavier than any normal piece of paper should.
Your husband was supposed to be there with you.
Bucky was supposed to meet you at the clinic so you could find out your baby's gender together. But he hadn't been answering any of your messages or calls since this morning. Better yet, he'd been avoiding you all week. There had been more voicemails than there were replies. It was worrying because you two had been fine, things were normal the week before and now it felt as though he was avoiding you at all cost.
Yet the disappointment was quickly replaced by dread when you opened the front door.
The heels were what you saw first, a pair that you were sure wasn't yours. Even if there was a slightest chance that they were, they had no business being down here and not in your closet. Being pregnant, you hadn't worn heels in months.
Next were the scattered clothes, both familiar and not, a feminine scent lingering in the air that had your stomach turning in knots. They were the most horrid pieces of bread crumbs, one that you knew was leading you towards something vile and agonizing.
Your heartbeat was ringing in your ears as you ascended the stairs, each thump growing harsher to marry with your step. Your fingers trembled on your baby bump, the fluttering inside growing restless like a blaring alarm. When you reached the landing, that was when you heard it.
An enthusiastic creaking of the bed, salacious moans and grunts sinisterly harmonizing, unashamedly loud as if they weren't doing something so evil. It was deafening that you couldn't even hear your own heart shatter into pieces.
You wanted to turn around and leave, telling yourself that seeing the treacherous act would do more harm than good. But you didn't have control of your own body. You were pulling at your own hand, wanting to drag yourself away but to no avail as you kept walking.
The door was wide open when you reached it, shameless and uncaring of getting caught.
And you stood there, frozen, shattering into pieces as you watched your husband mold his naked body into another woman, his metal fingers tangled in her blonde hair, his hips driving back and forth recklessly, their faces contorted in pleasure while a picture of you and him on your wedding day stood on the nightstand.
It felt like a bullet to the heart when he lifted his head and met your eyes.
Gone were the soothing blues you'd called home, gone was the man you'd given your all, who you'd grown to love, to trust.
There were only dark gray hues laced with no guilt, no remorse, a face resembling the love of your life but was truly the Devil incarnate.
Hot tears rolled down your cheeks in quick succession, bile and air stuck in your throat, your heart stopping as something warmer, thicker with a metallic scent trickled down your leg.
He grinned.
You gasped.
•••
Bucky noticed how you'd been short with him lately.
Your kisses were less enthusiastic, his touches or any form of affection were being brushed off, your conversations turning brief, other times barely happening at all.
He tried to reason that you simply needed space, that maybe he was overbearing, overstimulating your senses by hovering around you too much. But, really, who could blame him for taking care of you and making sure his pregnant wife was healthy and safe?
But it was at night that his concern turned to suspicion, when you were facing away from him when you slept, muttering and mumbling, restless. It was when you'd flinch in surprise when he'd wake you up, eyes dazed with something else other than drowsiness. He'd ask you what was wrong, and each time you'd shake your head wordlessly and attempt to go back to sleep.
He remained patient though. It was the least he could do, especially in your state.
Still, that didn't mean he wasn't downright worried, especially when he found something uncanny about your behavior.
Bucky expected your irritability and annoyance. You snapping at him for something so mundane was a common thing he'd been facing lately and had certainly no qualms over. Your mind, emotions, and body were going through a lot and in waves, it was the bare minimum for him to understand. So he never took your harsh glares and clipped tones to heart.
But what was uncanny was the look of doubt, followed by a flicker of fear and then the heartbreak that would cross your face. It was in split seconds, when you see him on the phone, when he was out longer than he'd promised after getting you one of your weird cravings, when he came back late at night after a spontaneous outing with the guys when Wanda and Nat all but kicked him out since it was their turn to pamper you.
Bucky had a feeling that something was wrong. He simply couldn't put a finger as to what.
The nagging voice in the back of his head only grew when Sam and Sarah were in town. It was a surprise visit, so they didn't catch you in time.
You were already out with your mother, a rocky relationship that you hoped would start to mend over baby clothes and strollers.
"Bucky! Come on!" Sarah groaned playfully when he refused to tell them the gender of the baby.
He wanted you to disclose it, and he certainly wasn't going to do it without you by his side. You found out together, it was only fair you tell people the news together, too.
The harsh slam of the front door silenced everyone.
Bucky knew it was you right away, rushing to meet you in the hallway when he heard the intensity of your heartbeat and the sharpness of your breaths, footsteps hurried as if you'd been running.
"Hey," he said softly, cupping your face in his hands, his heart clenching at the sight of your stricken features. "What's wrong?"
It took you a minute to respond, eyes flickering between his face and over his shoulder, like you were looking for something. Bucky watched your body slowly relax when Sam and Sarah followed closely behind him.
It only confused him more.
"You feeling okay?" he asked, thumb stroking your warm cheek as he gently placed the other on your stomach.
"Y-Yeah, I thought—" You shook your head, finally meeting his eyes with a sad smile. "Mom canceled last minute."
"Oh I'm sorry, sweetheart," he sighed, pulling you into his arms, kissing the top of your head when you let out a shaky breath, cheek pressed on his chest as you wrapped your arms around his waist.
Bucky knew how you were truly looking forward to this day. You'd been carefully dividing your lists into two so you could buy things with your mother and then with him, too.
"We'll just get those on our shopping trip, okay?" he murmured against your crown, hands rubbing soothing patterns on your back. Glancing behind him, he added with a lighter tone, "Or you can give Sam the list and he'll just gift us everything."
"Oh I would gladly do it," The self—not really—proclaimed uncle agreed. "If Buckaroo here will finally tell us whether we're having a niece or a nephew."
Bucky scoffed, "You know you can choose gender-neutral colors, right?"
"Oh no, I'm not talking about colors," Sam said, grinning. "I'm talking about quantity."
"Are you saying the niece gets more?" you asked with a soft laugh as you pulled away. The sound brushed away Bucky's worry, if only briefly, as he felt the tension leave your body. Still, his arm remained on your waist as you turned to your guests, his thumb rubbing soft circles as a means of comfort.
"Obviously," Sam confirmed, rolling his eyes playfully. "Gotta treat her like a princess."
"Can't argue with that." Bucky turned to you with an encouraging nod. "You want to put them out of their misery?"
"Well, you're having…" you trailed off, smile widening, eyes twinkling as a joyful glow kissed your face. The exact reason why Bucky loved letting you tell the news and being there when you did so. "A nephew."
The contrast between the siblings' reactions was amusing. Sarah erupted into a cheer resembling happiness and victory, while Sam all but threw his head back with a groan. Bucky still saw his friend try his best to hide a smile, though.
"I told you!" Sarah playfully smacked his brother on the arm. "A mother's intuition is never wrong."
"Yeah, yeah," Sam rolled his eyes, before turning to you with a proud grin, arms wide open. "Come here you."
You chuckled as you walked into his embrace, mumbling a soft "Thank you" at his congratulations. Sarah hugged you next, all teary yet happy smiles and sweet words as you both wandered to sit in the living room, the mother of two boys already gushing to you about endless advice.
"I'm happy for you man," Sam said as he pulled Bucky into a hug, patting his back before pulling away with narrowed eyes. "You better be taking care of her."
"Of course I am," Bucky scoffed, turning to watch you with a fond smile as you chatted animatedly, excitement evident in your well-being. "Hell, she might even be getting annoyed with my overbearing ass."
"Well, it's better to be overbearing than absent," Sam stated.
Bucky couldn't agree more.
Because fine, maybe he was being too much by always keeping an eye out for you even though you were safe and sound, lounging on the couch as Sam started pestering you about naming the baby after him. But if he wasn't, then he would've missed the way your smile slipped from time to time, shoulders slumping with exhaustion before you'd catch yourself and sit straight up and pretend your energy was still high.
He was thankful that Sam was perceptive enough to catch it too, along with the hints Bucky was throwing his way. So they cut their visit short, understanding that you needed to get some rest even if you hadn't explicitly said so.
Bucky was right on his call when the second the front door shut closed, your body visibility deflated, the day finally catching up with you.
He was probably hovering like a goddamn helicopter, trailing behind you when you did as much as walk from the living room to the bathroom, and then waiting for you outside the door. But if he hadn't, he would've missed your soft sniffles on the other side and the far-away look in your eyes once he'd checked on you twice after taking way too long inside than how you normally took.
If Bucky hadn't been overbearing, he would've missed the signs that something was bothering you, like something was eating away at your conscience.
"Hey, come here," he called for you later that night, sitting on the edge of the bed and beckoning you closer with his hands outstretched. Tangling your fingers together, he pulled you to stand in front of his opened legs, kissing your bump before resting his cheek on it, looking up at you with nothing but concern. "Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
"Yeah," you breathed out, attempting to smile but it didn't quite reach your eyes. "Just tired."
That only made his worry grow more.
It was something he'd noticed lately, too, how you'd been having trouble sleeping, much less, staying asleep. Most of the time, once you were comfortable in bed, it only took you a minute or two before you were out like a light.
At first, Bucky thought it was because you were nearing the end of your second trimester. It was to be expected, according to the countless pregnancy books he'd buried his face in and the weekly pregnancy calendar he found on the internet—which showed how big the baby was, what symptoms you were likely to feel and ways to aid you through it, how many weeks there were left, exercises to keep you comfortable and healthy and so on—he used as a guide.
But he didn't think nightmares were supposed to be part of it.
Bucky knew they weren't merely innocent dreams because you were always so shaken when he'd wake you up. There was always a sting settling in his chest when you'd pull away from his touch for a good few moments, eyes avoiding his as you tried to catch your breath. You'd only crawl back into his arms once your heart had settled into a calm rhythm, the haze in your irises never truly gone but faded.
You never told him what your dreams consisted of and Bucky never pushed.
He couldn't. Not with the risk of upsetting you even more. All he could do was remain patient. He knew you would tell him eventually. 
Bucky just wished it didn't have to take your breaking point for that to happen.
•••
The mumbling was what stirred him awake.
Bucky quickly sat up to check on you, his frown growing deeper once he saw your features littered with distress.
Yet before he had the chance to gently take you away from your troubled slumber, you suddenly shot up with a distressed shout,
"No!"
Your sobs immediately hit his ears, your frantic hands pulling the sheets away as if they were suffocating you. Your body trembled, chest heaving as you hastily checked your bump before you trailed your fingers down your inner thighs, bringing them up to your line of sight as if you were expecting to see something horrible coating your skin.
Dread clutched at Bucky's heart when the inkling as to what you expected to see evaded his mind.
"Hey, hey, hey," he rushed, kneeling in front of you and grabbing your face in his hands in an attempt to snap you out of your panic. Tear-filled eyes met his and his heart broke at the utter fear and agony that covered your face.
He pressed his forehead against yours, never looking away as he kept one cold hand on your burning and wet cheek and took yours with the other. He pressed your palm above his heart, hoping that it would help ground you.
"Breathe, sweetheart," he coaxed, inhaling deeply, encouraging you to follow, exhaling once you did. He took your other hand and pressed it against his jaw, letting his warm breath flow over your palm to help aid you in steadying your breathing. "That's it, my love, breathe with me."
Bucky repeated the action as many times he could, marrying it with encouraging words, only stopping when he could hear your heart slow to a steady beat.
"Y-You—" You choked back a whimper, burying your face into his neck as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, gripping him tightly. "I-I'm okay."
It sounded more like a question than it was a statement to Bucky.
"You're okay," he reassured firmly, kissing your forehead and steadying your shaking hands over your stomach. "You both are."
Silence covered the room aside from your deep breaths, the soft rustling of the sheets following suit as Bucky shifted to sit behind you, guiding you between his legs until your back was pressed against his chest. You rested all your weight on him, his hands covering your own as he coaxed them to move in slow circles over your stomach. He littered your shoulder with soft kisses, trailing up the side of your neck then your cheek, moving back down as he whispered sweet reassurances.
"You wouldn't do that to me, w-would you?" you asked after a moment.
"Do what, my love?"
Your voice came out as a broken whisper, as if you were scared to say it any louder, as if it would come true if you did.
"Cheat on me."
Bucky's answer was immediate.
"No." He gently turned you around in his arms, your legs thrown over his thigh as you sat sideways. Taking your face in his hand, he nudged the tip of your nose with his to get you to look at him, to let you see the truth in his eyes, emotions bared and unhidden. "I would never."
You nodded meekly before dropping your head, his lips touching your crown.
"Sweetheart, hey," he whispered, fingers finding your chin to prevent you from hiding again. His frown deepened when you met his gaze, the pain and conflict coating your dulled irises doing nothing to ease his worries. "Where is this coming from?"
But with one look at your trembling form and troubled eyes, Bucky's heart sank at the realization.
"Doll…" He took a deep breath, thumb stroking your cheek tenderly. "Is this what you've been dreaming of lately?"
Bucky never expected for such a small nod to break his heart so much.
"I-I watched you and—"
"No, no, no," he interrupted, shaking his head vehemently, kissing the tip of your nose, and then each of your eyelids. "You don't have to tell me right now. I don't want you to dwell on it for too long."
"I have to get out," you whispered yet your tone was adamant, fingers starting to nervously fiddle with his vibranium ones.
Bucky hesitated for a moment. He didn't want to stress you out more than you already were. But when you squeezed his hand reassuringly, he sighed, offering you a small yet supportive smile. "Okay. But don't force it, please, sweetheart. I don't want you getting upset even more."
You nodded.
Bucky listened.
He listened with bated breath as you recounted your dreams, his heart tearing itself apart, piece by piece with each gruesome detail you managed to stutter out. Heels. Clothes. Stairs. Sounds. Bedroom. Bodies. Picture Frame.
Bucky made sure to remind you to take your time and take deep breaths, it's just a bad dream, wiping away your tears as he held you close in his arms, you're my everything, littering whichever part of you he could reach with soft kisses to remind you were here, present in reality with him, and that you're okay.
Bucky never thought he'd feel inhumane anger over a version of himself that wasn't and would never be part of reality. He'd honestly die first. Yet, even then, he still couldn't picture subjecting you to such awful betrayal and hurt.
If he could jump into your dreams and excruciatingly make that asshole pay, no matter if it was some version of him, he would do it over and over and over again. No questions asked.
"And t-then there was b-blood," you took a sharp breath, a knife into Bucky's chest as fresh tears escaped your eyes, your grip around his hand tightening. "I-I lost our—"
"That's enough," Bucky interrupted, voice soft yet hoarse as a lump lodged itself in his throat, blinking away his unshed tears. With one hand on the back of your head, he pressed his lips against your brow. "It's just a nightmare, sweetheart."
"It f-felt so real," you choked back a sob, shaking your head as if you were hoping it would rid the images away. 
"This is real," Bucky said, placing your palm on his cheek, the other on your baby bump with his own hands covering yours. "You're okay. Our baby boy is okay. We are going to be okay."
You nodded, taking deep, shaky breaths as you brought his palm to your lips. You kissed it a few times, three more before you wrapped his arms around your form, leaning forward to bury your face into his neck.
"I would never do that to you," he murmured against the side of your head, rubbing gentle circles on your back. "You trust me, right?"
"I do!" you said, eyes frantically looking into his with all the reassurance you could muster despite your tiredness, lips trembling as you repeated, "I trust you with everything that I have. I trust you with my life, Buck—"
He nodded. He knew you did. He didn't feel any ounce of uncertainty in your voice, didn't see any assumption that he was capable of being unloyal in your eyes. Maybe that was where your conflict came from, your heart battling with the lies your subconscious was feeding you.
This wasn't about the strength of your trust in him. This was something else entirely.
"Who put this in your head, hmm?"
Bucky knew you well enough, how you sometimes got too into your overthinking mind. Your past relationships definitely contributed to that fact. Toxicity to downright emotional abuse and various infidelities from previous boyfriends, it was no surprise that you came out of those relationships scarred.
You went to therapy when you finally had the resources to, and Bucky was always there to support you, told you it was nothing to be ashamed of. Hell, he was going to individual sessions himself, much less frequently compared to his earlier years, but the path to healing was never linear. He even suggested couples counseling—once a month at best, twice on the bad ones. Not because something was broken with your relationship, but only as a tool to be able to understand each other more, to keep things healthy between you both.
It helped tremendously.
You'd grown to shine brighter each day, letting yourself be free of the doubtful voices and instead accept and own that you were deserving to be loved, strongly, loyally, and unconditionally.
Now, after being together for eight years—three in a relationship and five years of marriage—you and Bucky were stronger, healthier, happier. And with a baby boy on the way, he knew it would only strengthen your bond, adding more joy and love to your little family.
But recently, your pregnancy hadn't been easy on your mental state. With your body preparing itself to welcome new life into this world, to your hormones fluctuating, it only heightened your emotions, and that included the bad ones.
So it wasn't far-fetched for your anxious thoughts to grow like weeds in your head, unrelenting and parasitic with no means of stopping unless you pluck it out from the root. But for the first sprout to emerge, someone had to have planted that seed first.
"Remember when I went on that 'girl's night in' get-together?"
Bucky sighed. That was two weeks ago. He should've known that your quietness when you got home was something to be worried about. Even more when it was roughly the same time you started having trouble sleeping. To think that you had to deal with your dreams alone for that long—
He pulled you closer, rubbing your arms with a kiss on your forehead. "Yeah, I remember."
"Do you remember Karla?"
Bucky remembered her too. He only met her once when you brought him as your plus one to her engagement party. Now, he wasn't the type of person who was quick to pass judgment on people, especially at the first meeting. But first impressions? She hadn't exactly been the best, too forward and sometimes, rude for Bucky's liking. But she was your friend, so he let it slide.
"She arrived late. She was already very drunk and distraught," you continued once Bucky confirmed with a nod. "We immediately tried to console her, get her to calm down, but she just wouldn't let go of the bottle of whisky, started grabbing the wine the girls were having and chugging it down too. Turns out, she walked in on her fiancé with her best friend in their living room."
Bucky pressed his lips against your crown with a sigh, rubbing circles on your back as he let you pick at the metal plates of his arm. It was a nervous habit. Yet you also said it was comforting, grounding, getting to feel the coldness of the prosthetic.
"Then she looked at me and saw my bump—God that dress didn't really hide much, huh?" you chuckled, voice void of humor.
Bucky loved that dress on you, and he showed you just how much before driving you to that get-together. It was a shame that the memory was now tainted.
"B-But, I don't know, it was probably because I was the only married one in our group, o-or she was just that drunk but she started targeting me," you paused with a deep breath, eyes meeting his with a shake of your head as fresh tears gathered on your waterline.
"She started yelling at me and telling me that I was rubbing it in her face, what she could've had. And then she started screaming how you would do the same any day now, if you weren't already doing it because it was obvious you won't like it that my body is changing and getting bigger a-and that you'd find some slimmer model and she told me to leave you before it's too late and I just—"
Bucky felt hot white rage grip him.
He couldn’t care less what other people's opinions of him were. With what his past life was, he learned not to let it get to him. He should feel insulted, to hear the disrespect against his morals to downright questioning his loyalty to his wife, especially from someone he couldn't give a shit about.
But he wasn't mad about that. Oh no.
He was furious about what you had to endure.
The audacity of someone to make you upset and stressed, especially in your current condition, had him outraged. No one, absolutely no one had the right to raise their voice, much less, fucking yell at you. He didn't care if it was the president of some country, a powerful alien or a close family friend—
Nobody disrespects his wife.
"You know none of that is true," he said as calmly as he could despite wanting to give that 'friend' of yours a piece of his mind. Cupping your face with both hands, he brushed his thumbs against the corner of your lips. "Hell, I showed you how much I love your changing body earlier that day in the kitchen, didn't I?"
That managed to coax a giggle from you, faint and teary but he still took it as a win.
"Look, what happened to your friend was awful. I wouldn't ever wish that on anyone," he said, jaw clenching. "But for her to bring you down with her while you're pregnant? That's just cruel."
"I'm sorry," you whispered sadly, pressing his palm on your lips. "I shouldn’t have let her words get to me."
"Sweetheart, no, you did nothing wrong," Bucky insisted. "Your emotions are all over the place as is, your hormones even more. And I know how impressionable you get when your anxiety is high and, fuck, you must've been so stressed when she basically berated you in front of everyone I just—" He took a deep breath, pressing his forehead against yours. "I wish you could've told me sooner."
"I was worried you'd take it the wrong way," you admitted shakily. "Because I do trust you, but things got loud in my head and I just—"
"I know," he hummed, smiling reassuringly. "I know, doll. You don't have to explain it to me."
You sighed, nodding, your body slowly relaxing with a hint of a grateful smile touching your lips. And with the weight slowly falling off your shoulders, your drowsiness followed suit—the fluttering of your eyelids, the calmness of your breaths as you all but rested on him.
Bucky fluffed your pregnancy pillow before gently guiding you to a comfortable position, kissing your forehead, the tip of your nose before pressing his lips gently onto yours. He hummed at your satisfied sigh, hands caressing your body, pouring as much of his love into every simple touch as he could muster.
"You're my whole world, my everything," he whispered to you and you only, the person who matters to him the most. "I would never put myself in a position where I'd even risk losing the best thing that's ever happened to me."
Bucky's brows furrowed when he felt a flutter against his palm where he'd rested it on your bump.
"I think someone's a little jealous," you teased softly, fingers pushing his hair away from his forehead.
"Now, we can't have that," he chuckled, shifting his body until he was face-to-face with your belly. He pulled at your shirt, revealing your skin before littering each part and stretch marks with loving kisses. Smiling, he corrected himself, "One of the best things that's ever happened to me."
His grin grew wider as you started carding your fingers through his hair. He could honestly fall asleep like this, resting on your bump with your loving touches.
"Say, you're going to kick my ass if I hurt Mama, wouldn't you, squirt?" he murmured against your tummy, his heart lurching when he felt a faint kick. Bucky gaped at you, chuckling at your giggles before pressing his lips back on your skin. "Gonna be a mama's boy I can already tell."
"I love you," you said, eyes glistening but with the smile that graced your face, Bucky knew they were happy tears this time.
"And I love you," he hummed, resting his cheek on your bump to meet your gaze, his fingers tracing hearts on your skin. "Both of you."
•••
"Doll, you don't have to do this."
"They're going to be here in an hour."
"I know but you shouldn't be on your feet too much."
"Exercise is good for pregnant women," you said, tilting your head at your husband with a knowing grin. "You told me that, according to the books you've read."
"I know what I said," Bucky groaned, hands finding your hips as he tried to gently steer you to sit on the chair, again. "But in moderation, you've been standing for—"
"Five minutes since you last made me sit down," you giggled, continuing to set up the dinner table with the snacks and appetizers you had set up. The main meal was kept warm in the oven.
It was your turn to host the get-together your friend group had once a month. And being in your third trimester, you were unable to stay up too late. So you opted on having a small brunch instead of the usual nightly gathering.
"Then, let me take care of the rest, please?" he begged, wrapping his arms around your form to stop your movements, lips pressed on the thin strap of your sundress. And if he wasn't overly cautious about your well-being, he probably would've already carried you to bed to let you rest. "Just sit and order me around."
Now, who could deny that offer?
Bucky was a great husband.
You knew this and he had done nothing but actively prove that to you time and time again.
You knew you shouldn't have let yourself get to a point of spiraling deep into your anxious thoughts that they started to affect your dreams somehow. But it honestly got overwhelming so quickly that you didn't get the chance to snap out of it. Worse yet, it made you dig the hole deeper and deeper by keeping it to yourself.
It was a lapse in judgment and, as Bucky had said, your emotions were all over the place. Not to mention, the situation wasn't at all pleasing, getting yelled at in front of an audience was awful already, a recipe for anxious disaster. What more if your hormones were making everything ten times worse?
Your friend simply caught you at the wrong moment.
The same friend that was going to be coming over in a few minutes.
You didn't tell Bucky yet because you knew he would never let her into the house. But you were willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was drunk and hurting that night, emotions probably driving her rash decisions. Granted you hadn't spoken to her since, but she probably didn't mean what she had said.
Or so you thought.
After shooting you an admonishing look when he recognized who walked into the door last, Bucky was back in Pilot Mode.
It's what you named his hovering because he did go into certain modes when taking care of you, even if he argued otherwise. And despite having agreed that he was going to give you and the girls space—and he had been sulking in his office as he watched whatever game there was on—it rapidly changed when the party moved to your backyard.
The sun was at its peak in the clear blue sky, warmth evident in the air despite sitting under the shade of the large patio umbrella Bucky installed himself.
First, it was pulling you aside for some sunscreen, lathering your skin up as he lectured you about taking sips of water every now and then to stay hydrated and to go back inside if it got too hot. Then, it was standing in the kitchen, right by the open window where he had a clear view of you, discreetly observing even though his large stature was making him so obvious. Your friends had giggled about it since most did find it endearing. That last one was him bursting out of the backdoor with a cold glass of water and a clean towel in hand, wiping away any sweat that littered your skin and urging you to drink, parting away with a chaste yet loving kiss.
It was what made Karla snap.
"God, I can't believe you still fall for that shit," she scoffed once your husband had gone back inside. "Like, seriously, have you ever heard of love bombing?"
Everyone went silent at that.
"He's overprotective," you countered, though you could already start to feel your heart rate start to increase.
"More like he's overcompensating for something," she grumbled, rolling her eyes. "He was a trained assassin back in the day, wasn't he? Surely he'd learned a thing or two about hiding secrets."
"Karla, drop it," Grace, a friend truly close to you, hissed with a sharp glare.
"I'm trying to save her from yet another heartbreak," she argued, before turning to you. "Like we all know how gullible and naïve you can get, a few romantic gestures and you're already blinded. I mean, considering your track record of cheaters, you should already know the signs. I know I see them with how your husband's been doting on you. It's the same thing the asshole did to me."
Your hands shook as you held the glass of water tighter, tears threatening to spill as you gritted, "Bucky is not the same—"
"Jesus, you need to open your eyes!" Karla interrupted. "I never expected you to still be this stupid—"
"That's enough."
Bucky's voice boomed through the air, his looming presence immediately behind you with a protective arm around your waist. Emotions at a high, you didn't even realize you stood up from your seat. You tried catching his gaze, but he was glaring at Karla who had now quieted down, shrinking in her place.
"I don't care about your assumptions about my morals and character because your opinion doesn't matter to me. So say whatever you want to say about me. But the second you disrespect my wife—" Bucky screwed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, reeling back his anger when he felt your hand on his arm.
Opening his eyes, he turned to look at you. You shook your head, not wanting to make this any bigger. He sighed, taking your hand and kissing your knuckles and then your ring before turning to Karla.
"I love making my wife happy, and she'd been looking forward to this get-together to catch up with friends. But she isn't supposed to be around any kind of stressors during her pregnancy," he said, glare dead set on your so-called friend, voice dropping as he gritted, "So get out of my fucking house."
"Buck—"
"Doctor's orders, my love. I can call her right now if you want." He gave you a sweet, knowing smile. You nodded because you knew there was no point arguing with him. Bucky turned to your friend when she refused to move. "Well? Do you want me to drag you out?"
Karla gaped at everyone, waiting for someone to protest, huffing and puffing when she found no support. It didn't take long for her to gather her things and for the front door to slam shut.
The silence hung in the air for a good minute.
"Good fucking riddance," Grace scoffed, the tension breaking as a chorus of agreement came out from everyone. "I honestly don't get why you still invited her."
"Too kind for her own good," Bucky said, raising his brow at you. You shook your head at him with a soft laugh, squeezing his hand gratefully.
"You're in your guard dog mode again," you teased.
Bucky rolled his eyes, but didn't bother denying it. That only made you grin wider.
"Well, this is supposed to be a girls' thing so I'll leave you ladies to your own devices." He nodded at everyone, giving you a sweet peck on the lips before making his way back into the house, even though you knew he was only going back to his station in the kitchen.
As soon as he was gone, everyone started gushing at you.
"You're so lucky but God you deserve it!"
"Girl, you need to set me up with a friend of his, like surely they're going to be roughly the same, right?"
"Honestly, I'm glad you're getting your happy ever after."
"Does he use that deep voice on you in bed?"
"Oh my god!" you squeaked at the last one, covering your warm face with your palms. When you peeked between your fingers, the girls were all looking at you with expectant grins, brows wriggling. You sighed, "Maybe."
They all erupted into delighted laughs at that, the conversation turning into a slightly salacious turn as they started trading in stories—both good and horrendous—and asking you for some advice on how to keep a guy satisfied or even just to spill the beans on what you and your husband get up to in bed.
Obviously, you didn't kiss and tell—well, not in too much detail. You still couldn't help but sing Bucky's praises. Of course you had to give credit where credit is due.
It was a few moments in when you caught Bucky's gaze in the open window. His wink and that handsome yet smug—his ego inflated that's for sure—smile was enough to tell you that he was listening in like the goddamn nosy super soldier that he was.
You rolled your eyes, yet your joyous smile wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.
Because to be in reality with James Buchanan Barnes, your husband, the love of your life, was way better than any dream you could ever have.
✫*。・゚.★. *。・゚♛ *.
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