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heartless-tate · 2 months

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Notice Me! | Part two | Azriel X Freader

Azriel x Freader | Part one

Summary: Azriel courting oblivi reader

a/n; Heyy! This is the last part guys! Hope you enjoy 🤗 also I really recommend looking up the meaning of the flowers after you read. 💕

content/trigger warnings; food, cussing, kissing, one or two use y/n, no smut BUT some lust and hints to masturbation, Azriel pining, Cassian being sassy, FEM reader (if you’d like me to make a another post with male reader, message me!) she/her pronouns for reader, rain mention and I think that’s it. If I missed something, feel free to message me on it!💗

You are in a warm bath, infused with the scent of essential oils, a perfect remedy to the grime from your training. You shake the thought out of your head, cursing yourself. Azriel didn’t like you like that. Cassian kisses Feyre on the cheek all the time, so why did it mean anything different if he kissed you? It didn’t mean anything different. But still, ever since he had left for his mission you found yourself running your fingers over your cheek.

It felt as though your skin was ablaze, heat gathering in your thighs. You abruptly reached towards them, water splashing. Halting yourself, you felt a surge of guilt and shame. If Azriel knew what you were thinking, he'd avoid your gaze forever. The thought made you feel sick. You groaned aloud, resting your head against the edge of the tub. You longed for him, missed his enticing cooking and physique. No, just his cooking. You chastised yourself again. Bad thoughts!

Goosebumps arose on your skin. The water had become ice cold. You rose from the water, letting the air chill your skin. Your nipples hardened, and you wondered if it was from your imagination or the cold air. You quickly leaped from the tub, landing on the mat. You wrapped your towel around your body after drying your wet hair.

Your bare feet padded against the floor as you walked out of the bathroom, letting the house magic take care of the leftover water. Your room felt warmer upon entering, soothing you. The room smelt like musk and bourbon. Like Azriel almost. You shivered with delight, stepping to your vanity. You reached for your hair brush, looking into the mirror only to be met with horror.

You yelped in shock, turning to face the shadowsinger. He sat on your bed, holding one of your books. His wings were spread lazily on your covers. He huffed a laugh at your reaction, grinning. “That’s certainly not the welcoming I was expecting.” He concurred smugly.

“Azriel..” You muttered. He was early. And you hadn’t expected him to be here. “How long have you been back?” you asked. He smiled.

“I’ve been here for fifteen minutes waiting for you to get out of,” he paused, his eyes trailing down to your body, “your bath..”

You felt your face heat, suddenly realizing you wore nothing but a small towel. Your body was glistening wet. He looked you back in the eyes with a small smirk.

“Oh cauldron!” You squeaked, wrapping your arms around your body more tightly. He laughed, heartily. Azriel shook his head before standing. He laid your book down and with embarrassment you realized it was one of your more smuttier books. And by that you mean it was pure porn. There was nothing more embarrassing about this situation. He smirked at you again, before taking a few steps towards you. You notice there are fresh flowers on your nightstand now. It was a bouquet of red and pink flowers you hadn't seen before. You’d have to look them up in your flower guide.

“I have a training session where I plan on beating Cas’s ass, but I wanted to see you first. We’ll have lunch in around two hours, okay?” He demanded gently. You nodded shyly, unable to think of a coherent response. He smiled, pleased. He walked forward, and you hoped he would kiss you again. Just not on the cheek. But alas, he pulled you in a hug, his warm muscly body a hard contrast to your cold one. Your right hand held your towel in place, while your left wrapped around him. He shivered, and you figured it was due to your wet hair?

Azriel let go quickly and abruptly and you wondered if you did something wrong. He smiled tightly. “See you in two hours, love.” He whispered affectionately before turning and taking flight from your balcony.

He left you standing there, wet all over, confused, warm, and also shivering. You still couldn’t wrap your head around this feeling you had.

After you changed into a tank top and shorts you approached the flowers on your nightstand. They were gorgeous. You bit your lip as you grabbed a flower guide book, ready to find what type of flowers they were.

They were pink bluebells and red chrysanthemums.

A beautiful sandwich filled with all your favorite toppings, sat in front of you. Courtesy to Azriel. You sighed, wondering if you’d ever be as good as a cook Azriel was. It was truly a hidden talent of his. There wasn’t something he couldn’t fix.

A warm leathery wing brushed on your bare shoulder as he passed by. He sat his food down beside yours before pulling out a chair and setting it directly by yours. It was now lunch time. Both Cassian and Azriel were sweaty muscly messes. Their skin glistened with pure sweat. And you wondered how Azriel still managed to smell like a god still. After you left your room, you spent some time enjoying the morning breeze and relaxing. When it came time for lunch, you walked to the dining area. Azriel was waiting for you in the kitchen where he made your sandwich and a drink for you. Every detail of it was to your liking.

Cassian, of course, stood in the corner complaining about Azriel never fixing him sandwiches. Azriel had knocked him in the face with his wing, shutting him up. Cassian stayed in the kitchen, munching on some snacks. He feigned not paying attention to you nor Azriel.

Both of your chairs were back less, as to accommodate for wings. Sure, your skin felt a little chilly in the air due to your tank top. But Azriel’s wing, warm from training in the sun, stayed on your back. It was comforting. Like a blanket that's been sitting by a cozy fireplace.

Azriel pushed the plate towards you again, motioning for you to start eating. When you started, and he was sure you were satisfied with the taste, he started eating his too. And, of course, everything tasted perfect. When you both finished, the house took care of the plates. Cassian and Nesta had joined at the other end of the table, talking to each other as they ate. You caught yourself admiring them- the love they had. That you felt you would never have. They bickered, sure. But they were so in love. You couldn’t help but envy them. If only a guy loved you like that.

Your thoughts broke when Azriel started talking. He had a soft smile as he told you of his mission. Apparently the queens were doing okay and hadn’t been stirring up trouble, so he was able to leave early.

“You didn’t starve while I was away did you? Next time I’ll drag you with me so I can actually focus on my mission.” He muttered running his hands through his hair. Azriel always spoke softly unless angry. Or at least you had never heard him get loud. You didn’t catch Cassian and Nesta smirking at you both. Nesta couldn’t help but snort to herself. You were so oblivious. You didn’t even seem to notice Azriel only ran his mouth like this when around you. He seemed so open with you and comfortable.

“Of course I didn’t starve- wait, why couldn’t you focus on your mission?” You inquired, confused.

“Ah- No reason, dear.” He responded. His pet name went over your head. Azriel bit his lower lip, staring at you with intent eyes. He couldn’t help but feel amused by your blatant obliviousness. Your eyes went to where Cassian sat across from you with his eyes closed, kissing and smacking his lips, like he was making out with the air. Your eyebrows furrowed at the weirdness until he stopped and pointed at Azriel, then you. Nesta slapped him and he realized he had been caught. You were about to question his weird antics before a wing blocked your sight towards them.

You turned to where Azriel had gotten closer. He used his wing to make sure ALL of your attention was on him.“I have to go meet with Rhys soon. But when I get back, we need to talk.” He said sternly. His eyes were hardened and your face dropped. Did you do something wrong? He noticed the look and smiled softly to reassure you.

“Wait for me here?” He asked. And you nodded, still nervous. Your hands came together to fiddle awkwardly but Azriel’s hands laid on top of yours. He lifted your hands and kissed the top of both of them. You blushed at the intimacy. He lifted his head, and ran a hand through his hair.

He stood, still holding your hand with one of his. The room had gone quiet. Like it was just you and him. He leaned forward and kissed your forehead. You felt the heat and softness of his lips as they pressed to your head. Your bottom lip quivered as you looked shyly to the floor. What was happening? You didn’t even know anymore. Your body didn’t feel like it was yours anymore.

He stood and winked at you playfully before heading to the balcony and once again spreading those giant wings and shooting into the air. You sighed to yourself before realizing that Cassian and Nesta were both staring at you. Cassian sighed and looked to Nesta.

“I’ll bet you 80 gold coins-“ he started, but Nesta slapped a hand on his mouth so he couldn’t finish. She smiled at you before grabbing Cassian and leaving you alone in the room, deep in your thoughts.

Rhysand’s office was warmer then the rest of his house today. Azriel was filling him in on his recent mission. And to his distaste, that meant he had to be away from you. He didn't care that he’d be back within a few hours, he had already suffered during his mission. Being away from you- not being able to smell you on his clothes anymore, distressed him more then he cared to admit. He remembers worrying if you had ate, or if you forgot to eat again. His wings bristled at the memory. Upon coming back to you, he couldn't be bothered to care you had just got out of the bath. He thanked the Mother for blessing him with such good timing. You were so god damn beautiful, and if that towel had dropped- Azriel wouldn’t have left that room for a good fucking long while.

He had been too excited to even care that you were wet and only in a towel, he just had to hug you. But he didn't expect to feel his cock stiffen. He couldn’t help it, your body in his arms felt so good. You were so fucking pretty, it hurt. Azriel was embarrassed that he lost control of his own body. He planned on holding you for longer, but when your hand wrapped around his back, it brushed that sensitive part of his wing, sending a jolt to his dick. He had to rip away before you felt the growing hardness in his pants, and he felt so bad seeing your face of confusion. You hadn’t meant too. And you looked so hurt and you didn't even know what your had done. He cursed his body hating his lack of control, but didn't want you to think he was a creep so he left early to take care of himself.

“Az? Are you listening?”

Azriel snapped out of his thoughts and turned back to where his brother sat. Rhysand sighed and shook his head before repeating himself.

“I was asking if you could run to Velaris and pick up some medicine from Madja? Feyre has been having some headaches.”

Azriel’s eyebrows furrowed and he contemplated. Of course, he loved his high lady and didn’t want her to be in pain. But he wanted to get back to you fast. He needed your presence. Soon. Before he lost his mind. “Can’t you just winnow yourself? It’d be a lot faster then me having to fly.” He proposed.

Rhysand bristled slightly at Azriel’s slight coldness. He knew his brother, and knew he didn't mean it personally. Rhysand smirked. “Cassian warned me of this.”

“Warned you of what?” Azriel asked. ”He told me you get extremely pissy whenever you’ve been away from her for too long.” Rhysand spoke, with a knowing smile.

Azriel knew he was talking of you. His eyebrows furrowed and scowled at his brother before huffing. Before he could reply Rhys continued.

“It’s alright, we get it. Cas and I have both been through it with our mates.” Azriel didn’t respond this time. He shook his head with a slight growl. How come everyone could see his affection for you- but you? It was infuriating! He hoped maybe kissing your cheek would make you magically realize he had loved you, but it didn’t. Cauldron! How much more obvious does he need to make it?

Rhys dismissed him with his signature smirk, the all knowing bastard too smug for Azriel’s liking tonight.

Azriel wasn’t back yet. And the sun had already set, leaving it dark outside. You wondered what was taking him so long to tell Rhys of his mission. In reality you were more worried of what he wanted to talk about. You currently sat by the fireplace in your room, letting the heat warm your body. You had left the balcony doors open, assuming Azriel would fly through there.

You had two candles burning, and a book open in your hands. The sound of pitter patter against the marble floors distracted you from your book. You turned your head to the balcony doors and sighed, seeing it was raining. the water was getting on your floor. You grabbed a towel from the bathroom, and wiped the water from the floor. You closed the door to the balcony, but leaving it unlocked for him.

You turned around, noticing the flowers. You smiled joyfully. It was nice always having a pair of fresh flowers, thanks to Azriel.

“Pay more attention.”

You remembered Mor’s words. What were you suppose to pay attention to? You had already dissected every single memory you had of Azriel, but you coulnd’t find anything in your mind that was out of the ordinary. You sighed, rubbing your temples. Nothing made sense anymore. You ran a hand through your hair, stressed.

You looked around the room before your eyes found the flowers again. You remembered Azriel giving you a book that had the meanings flowers last Starfall. Your eyes snapped to the floating bookshelf Azriel has installed in your room two years ago. You quickly approached it, running your fingers across the titles until you found the right one. You pulled the book out, grazing the cover with your fingertips.

You sat by the fireplace, flipping through until you found the flowers you were looking for.

A whooshing sound came from your balcony, prompting you to close the book and stand, walking to your nightstand and laying it down. You turned to the door of the balcony, watching it open. Azriel stepped in, hair wet from rain. Water dripped from his body onto your floor. He wanted slightly eyes latching onto yours. He held a small pink box that he had managed to keep dry. You briefly wondered what it was until he started to walk towards you. Determination was in his eyes as he walked fast, in front of you within seconds. He licked his lips, looking at your eyes.

Everything froze, and it was just you and him. Standing there. His eyes were dilated and filled with affection now. You didn’t notice him setting the box on your nightstand, never breaking eye contact. His eyes flicked down to your lips, before looking back up. You felt the tension in the room. His eyes seemed to glow more tonight. Brighter than the fire.

You looked back to where the flowers were and then back back to him.

“Why did you give me pink bluebells and red chrysanthemums?” You asked, you voice barely above a whisper.

Azriel cocked his head to the side, studying you. His shadows whirl around, some coming to play with your hair. The tendrils swirl gently around you.

“Why do you think I gave them to you?” He responded. His voice was roughed, but gentle. You looked away to the floor and shrugged, feeling shy under his unwavering stare.

“Answer me.”

You felt a hand on your chin, turning your face back to his. His thumb rubbed mindlessly at your jaw.

“I don’t know..” You replied. He was closer now, you could feel his breath against your face. It was minty and fresh.

“Fucking hell y/n.” He groaned, grabbing your hips and gently pushing you to sit on the edge of the bed. He dropped to his knees in front of you, head bowed. He looked as if he was saying a prayer, his head bowed in your lap. His wings were draped across the floor, and he was muttering something to himself. He held your knees, and when he looked back up to you his eyes were teary.

“Azriel-“ you started, only for him to cut you off.

“What am I doing wrong? Have I not made it painfully clear? I would tie my wings behind my back and jump off this roof if you asked me too. I would do anything,” He sniffled, “anything for you. But you don’t even realize. What am I doing wrong?” You saw tears beginning to form in his eyes. Confusion filled every ounce of your soul. What did he mean?

“I would jump off for you too-“

“No! You don’t get it!” He rose, cupping your face with his hands. A pleading look was in his eyes. “Look at me! Don’t you feel it? Don’t you feel it here?” His hand came to lay where your heart would be. Your felt it beating crazily. What did he mean?

Azriel closed his eyes, sending a silent prayer to the mother. He opened them again.

“Just notice it y/n. Notice it- Notice me. Please..” he whispered. You wanted to scream you loved him suddenly, but he probably doesn’t mean this like that. This is probably some dumb prank he and his brothers came up with again.

His forehead rested against yours now, and you gasped as you felt something tugging on your heart. Like gold threads weaving together. It felt as if someone had tied Azriel to you. Shadows whirled crazily around you both now. Your hand came to rest over his trying to decipher this feeling in your heart. His eyes peered into yours. And he closed them as he moved his head and pressed a small kiss to your forehead.

“I love you, even if you don’t return it.” He croaked, defeatedly. His eyes opened and watched you. He watched as your eyebrows furrowed and you looked at your chest and then back to him.

He let out a grunt of surprise when you smashed your lips against his. Azriel wondered if this was real. Staying still, as if not to scare you away. When he realized it was real- and you were kissing him he melted. He kissed you back gently and meaningful. It was everything you had ever wanted you realized. Why hadn’t you noticed sooner? You could’ve been kissing this muscly man a lot sooner. Only did you detach yourself when you needed air. Both of your foreheads touched, and you both panted for air.

“Mate.” You whispered to him. He smiled, thanking the mother you had finally felt the bond. He nodded in response.

“Mate.” He replied. He nudged you back against the sheets, gently letting your body plop on the bed.

“But I have loved you long before I found out we were mates.” He muttered, his wings flaring slightly. He climbed on top of you, straddling your hips.

You nodded. “I loved you too- but I just thought that, I wasn’t the girl you’d ever wanna be with.”

“I’ve fucking craved you ever since I met you. And that won’t stop, ever. I swear, you’re the most oblivious girl I’ve ever met.” He said. His eyes weren’t wet anymore. It calmed you, seeing him calmer. The shadows were slowly and lazily playing with your hair again. You peered into Azriel’s eyes and thought back to every single memory you and him had, and realized it was all love. You were too oblivious to realize it. He slowly leaned down and brushed his lips against yours, wings covering you both. You kissed him back with a fever you couldn’t stop anymore.

After a few minutes, he crawled off of you and stood. You rose, propping yourself up. He handed you the pink box.

“I stopped by your favorite bakery and got you a cupcake.” Azriel spoke. The cupcake inside was big- almost two times bigger then your hand. And it was your favorite flavor. Your eyes softened at the kindness. You looked back up to him as you lifted the cupcake towards him.

“Eat Azriel.” You whispered. His eyes darkened upon realizing you wanted to solidify the mating bond- and confirm it. He shivered but stopped himself.

“You sure you don’t want a mating ceremony-“

“Eat the fucking cupcake Azriel.”

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parkerslatte · 2 months

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Centuries Coming

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 8.7k

Warnings: none.

Summary: Y/N and Azriel have been close friends for centuries. When Azriel begins to pull away from Y/N to spend more time with Elain, a mating bond snaps.

A Court of Thorns and Roses Masterlist

•••

It had been nearly three centuries of friendship and Y/N was sure she would never get bored of her relaxing sessions with Azriel. For two weeks, he had been away on a mission while Y/N continued her intense training sessions with Cassian. They both were well and truly exhausted.

Y/N’s room, which was situated right next to Azriel’s, was nearly silent as the two friends relaxed. The only noise emitting from the room were the soft sounds of the pages flipping in a book and an occasional content sigh. With her left hand, Y/N held the book up to her eye level, skilfully flipping the page with her thumb when it was needed. Her other hand occupied Azriel’s head, her fingers threading through his soft locks as his head rested on her stomach. The two were utterly content.

Once Y/N reached the end of the chapter, she spared a glance at Azriel. His eyes were closed and his breathing even. Y/N stilled her hand movement in his hair for a brief moment simply to admire the shadowsinger laying before her. He was beautiful, she had always thought he was beautiful ever since she had met him. Azriel carried a sense of elegance in his features that only stone carvings held. From the smoothness of his skin to the sharpness of his jaw, everything was sculpted to perfection.

“Why did you stop?” Azriel questioned, nudging his head against Y/N’s hand.

Y/N let out a breathy laugh before continuing to thread her fingers through his hair. Azriel wasn’t the only one who enjoyed this. She was very much enjoying herself too– as well as enjoying the way his arms were wrapped around her waist tightly.

“I was just lost in thought for a moment,” Y/N replied, playing her book down on the bed next to her, the hand previously holding the book coming to rest upon Azriel’s shoulder.

Azriel opened his eyes to view the book she had set down before his gaze shifted to meet Y/N’s. “Are you tired? You normally only stop reading when you are tired.”

The smile on Y/N’s face was soft. She loved it when Azriel noticed small specific details about her. “I’m not tired, just relaxed.”

Azriel’s head lifted from Y/N’s stomach before he shuffled himself up her bed to sit against the headboard, his wings splayed out behind him.

“What are you doing?” Y/N questioned, curling her legs closer to her body, suddenly feeling the cold now that Azriel had moved.

“Returning the favour,” Azriel responded before gently gripping Y/N’s arm and pulling her so her head rested against his chest.

Y/N couldn’t help herself but inhale the familiar scent that she loved so much. Nothing relaxed her more than Azriel’s scent. Whenever she was stressed or simply having a rough day, she would always seek him out and over the course of the past few months, she hadn’t even had a reason to seek him out. Y/N just wanted to be around him.

One of Azriel’s arm wrapped around Y/N’s shoulders and tangled in her hair whilst the other wrapped around her waist, keeping her body close to his. Y/N rested her hands on his firm torso, feeling the ridges of hard muscle beneath. She blushed.

“Oranges,” Azriel muttered, his head turning into hers.

“What?” Y/N asked, her voice muffled by his chest.

“Your shampoo,” Azriel said. “It smells of oranges.”

“And other citrus fruits,” Y/N responded. “I bought it when–”

“When you went to the Summer Court,” Azriel cut her off. “I remember you mentioning it a few months ago.”

Moments like this with Azriel were quite common within their friendship. The two would often find themselves wrapped up with one another. Of course it was strictly platonic, it was what it had always been. At least that is what Y/N thought it was, but over the past few years, she had begun to notice Azriel in a new light. At first she would just take note of how handsome he looked when he was at ease surrounded by his family. She would then notice how much she enjoyed being around him while it was just the two of them. Y/N never thought anything of this at first but that feeling of disappointment that overcame her when someone else walked into the room was one she couldn’t explain.

One particular moment where Y/N realised that she was falling hard for Azriel was on her four-hundredth birthday, just a little over three years ago. He had decided to give her her present in private. It was a small charm bracelet. Whenever Azriel would go away on a mission, he would always buy her a new charm to add to it. Nothing meant more to Y/N than that bracelet. However, the bracelet was not the thing that made Y/N realise her feelings– it was the kiss on her cheek.

As soon as his lips touched her skin, Y/N could only wish that they had connected only a few centimetres to the left. She needed to feel his lips upon hers but she could only ever imagine it. Whenever she found herself staring at his lips when he spoke or when he wasn’t looking, she always imagined the way they would feel on hers– and other parts of her body. Even now as Y/N could feel Azriel’s lips graze the top of her head, she wished she could just lean up and capture them with her own.

Y/N could only wish that they were more than friends.

***

Many months later, Y/N found herself knocking on Azriel’s door. She hadn’t seen much of him since she had bought her own house on the outskirts of Velaris. It was a small cottage with a large stretch of land overlooking the mountains. Y/N loved the location as she could sit and stare at the stars all night long and never get bored. But one thing she did miss was Azriel.

As she waited patiently outside of his door, she heard footsteps approaching before the door opened and Azriel came into view. It seemed as if he had just woken up as his hair was a mess and he was rubbing sleep away from his eyes– and he was shirtless too. Y/N had to refrain herself from admiring his figure.

“Y/N,” Azriel said, genuine surprise in his tone. “I didn’t know that you would be here.”

“I decided to stop by,” Y/N replied. “I haven’t seen you much recently, and I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk with me? I have a day off from my duties and was planning to visit the bakery that had just opened in the city.”

“Oh,” Azriel said. “I was going to take Elain there later. I promised I would go with her days ago.”

Y/N tried to keep the smile on her face, though it did falter a little. Her moving out was not the only reason she hadn’t seen Azriel much, the second reason was the middle Archeron sister who had seemed to take up a large majority of Azriel’s time.When she offered to hang out or train together, he was always with the middle Archeron sister. Even when they did make plans, Azriel always cancelled at the last minute to be with Elain. Y/N didn’t want to say that she was a jealous person but she couldn’t help but be jealous of Elain. She was beautiful and kind. Of course Y/N was both of those things too but Elain made it so effortless, even when she wasn’t trying to be beautiful and kind– she was.

“Okay,” Y/N said, stepping back from his door. “Well maybe we could go another time. What about tomorrow? We can make a day of it.”

The shake of Azriel’s head broke her heart. “I’m out with Elain tomorrow, as well. I don’t have the time.”

His answer was blunt and straight to the point. Y/N tried not to let his answer affect her but embarrassment seemed to encase her body.

“Oh,” Y/N said, the smile now completely gone from her face. “I hope you two have fun, then.” Her gaze fell to the floor as she took another step back from his door.

Before she could step further away from his door, Azriel caught her wrist in his hand. Y/N’s breath hitched as his skin touched hers. It had been a while since they had touched and it still sent goosebumps down her spine. Y/N’s eyes slowly travelled up his torso, the black tattoos swirling across his chest and shoulders. As her eyes met Azriel’s, Y/N felt as if she had stopped breathing altogether. That feeling in her chest seemed to pull her right to Azriel, pulling taunt until it snapped into place.

A mating bond.

The feeling of Azriel’s hand on her wrist was too much for her to bear. Y/N pulled her hand out of Azriel’s gentle grasp and held it close to her chest, missing the hurt look that flashed across his features for a brief moment. He folded his arms across his chest, hiding his hands.

“If you want to wait, we could all go together,” Azriel said, his voice unusually quiet.

Y/N, somehow finding her voice, said, “No, I think I’ll just go on my own. Enjoy your time with Elain.”

Before Azriel could get another word in, Y/N practically raced from his doorway and out of sight. Her breathing became more and more ragged. Mate. Azriel was her mate. As Y/N hurried down the hall, she collided with a hard chest and stumbled back slightly.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Cassian asked, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Y/N frantically nodded her head. “I’m okay. I’m fine, I was just going for a walk.”

Cassian didn’t get to ask another question as Y/N continued her path, ignoring her friend even when he called out to her.

***

That had been three days ago. Y/N had asked Rhys for a few days off from her duties. With the mating bond snapping into place for her, she hadn’t been able to think straight. All she could think of was Azriel. The bond urged her to go to him but her mind fought back. It clearly hadn’t snapped for him and Y/N didn’t want to pressure him into anything if she told him.

For centuries the two had been friends– close friends. She had confided in him over everything because he would always sit and listen. He would hug her in her times of need and hold her until she fell asleep. Azriel was her rock. Y/N let out a sigh as she laid down on her bed. Why now? She thought. What was it about that one singular touch and conversation that made the bond snap?

They have had many more intimate touches before. With Azriel’s hand gently caressing her cheek. His arms wrapped around her waist as he lifted her from the floor to hug her tightly. Y/N’s hands gently touching his wing as she helped heal a painful gash. All of those touches had been a lot more intimate than the simple touch of her wrist.

Even their conversations. The two had deep conversations about insecurity, inadequacy and many other important matters. There were conversations full of playful teasing that sometimes shifted over into the more flirtatious territory. Those conversations always made Y/N’s heart beat a little faster. But the bond hadn’t snapped for any of those. It had snapped when Azriel rejected her to spend time with another female.

Y/N rolled over in her bed and pulled the blanket further around her body. She still couldn’t believe that Azriel was her mate. The way Y/N was feeling, she was sure she had never had so many emotions within her in her whole life.

She glanced at the charm bracelet on her wrist. It was decorated with eleven charms. The newest one was just over a year old. Normally Azriel would buy her a charm whenever he was away for a long period of time or on special occasions. Of course Y/N tried to stop him, she didn’t want him to spend his own money on her. But every time she mentioned it, Azriel would simply return with a new one much more beautiful than the last. Y/N touched the last charm he had bought her. It was a simple silver heart. There wasn’t anything special about it but it was Y/N’s favourite.

As Y/N was lost in her thoughts, loud knocking came from her door. Y/N didn’t even attempt to move from her position on her bed, even when the knocking got louder.

“Y/N, let me in!” Cassian’s voice came from outside.

Y/N didn’t respond even as he complained about the cold. She pulled the blanket to her chin and looked at the heart charm. When she had first received it, she was sure that was a hint toward his feelings, that he might have loved her in the way she loved him. But only a week after gifting her that charm, he began to spend almost all of his spare time with Elain. Of course Y/N tried not to let it affect her too heavily– if Azriel was happy then she would try to be happy for him.

“Y/N, I’m coming in!” Cassian called and she heard her door unlock.

Cassian’s heavy footsteps came up her stairs until her bedroom door was pushed open.

“How did you get in?” Y/N questioned, her head poking out of the mass of blankets.

“I took the spare key from Az’s room while he was out with Elain,” Cassian explained.

Y/N felt her heart drop at the mention of Azriel out with Elain once again. He always seemed to have time for her but whenever Y/N spoke to him recently, he was always in a rush to get away or on his way to see Elain.

“What’s wrong?” Cassian asked.

The bed dipped as Cassian sat down, pulling off his boots. Y/N turned over in the bed to face him as he got comfortable under the covers. She had missed Cassian recently. Of course he had been tasked with training Nesta so she knew that he had a lot to do but she missed these moments where they could just sit and talk.

“I am just…confused,” Y/N said, sitting up in her bed slightly.

“Why?” Cassian asked, folding his arms across his chest.

Y/N looked down at her bracelet. “It’s about Azriel.”

Cassian’s gaze softened. “I thought as much.”

“What?” Y/N furrowed her eyebrows. “How would you know?”

Cassian glanced down to the bracelet on her wrist. “I was with him when he bought that bracelet for you. He made me follow him around every single shop in Velaris to find something perfect for you.” Y/N’s smile was small but it was there as she conjured up the image in her head. “Azriel decided on that bracelet for you because he could buy you the charms to add to it and it would give him an excuse to give you presents.”

“I tried to stop him but he wouldn’t accept my refusal,” Y/N said, finally looking up at Cassian.

“He’s a stubborn bastard,” Cassian said, humour lacing his tone. “Especially when it comes to you. He loves you.”

Y/N scoffed. “He does not love me. Don’t joke about things like that, Cassian.”

“I’m not joking, Y/N,” Cassian said. “He has never told me, but I have noticed it in his actions. At every opportunity he has, he seeks you out.”

“It’s only because you and Rhys probably are not around,” said Y/N.

Cassian chuckled. “Az has sought me out before when he was having a bad day, but he has never cuddled me until we fell asleep together in bed.”

Y/N glared at him. “How did you know about that?”

“You left your door open once and you were both asleep, wrapped in each other’s arms. I have known Az all of my life and I had never seen him look so content. Every worry, every doubt, every trouble he has seemed to evaporate when he was in your arms.”

“That still doesn’t prove that he loves me, Cass,” Y/N said. “Now, can we please not talk about this anymore. I don’t have the energy.”

Cassian studied her for a brief moment. “Why did you rush out the other day?”

“I told you, I was going on a–”

“A walk, yes, but why did you rush out? You were clearly upset and you had clearly just come from Az’s room.” Cassian commented.

Y/N sighed. “It doesn’t matter. I just asked him if he wanted to come to the bakery that had just opened in the city but he was already going with Elain.”

“And you were jealous?” Cassian asked.

“It’s not that simple,” Y/N said and fiddled with a loose thread on the blanket. “It seems that since I have moved out, I have barely seen Az. I didn’t even move far away, it's about a fifteen minute walk, even faster by flying. Everyone but him seems to make the effort and whenever I make an effort, he is always busy with Elain.” Y/N sat up in her bed, now fully facing Cassian. “Sometimes I think he is purposefully avoiding me to spend more time with Elain. And I–”

Y/N cut herself off. She had never voiced these thoughts aloud, they had just been swirling around her head for ages.

“And you what, Y/N?” Cassian asked gently.

“I just miss him, I miss the way things were, I wish I never fell in love with him.” Y/N could feel the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. “Falling in love with him had to be the stupidest thing I could have done–”

“Don’t say that,” Cassian interrupted. “Don’t ever say that. Azriel deserves all of the love you have given him, and you deserve all of the love he has ever given you.”

“Cassian, Azriel does not love me!” Y/N exclaimed. “If he loved me, why didn’t the damn bond snap for him too!”

Everything was still and silent as Cassian took in the words of the revelation. Y/N felt a small amount of weight lift from her shoulders but it wasn’t enough for her to get out of her bed.

“You and Az are mates,” Cassian said slowly, processing everything.

“The day I ran into you was the day it snapped,” Y/N said, hugging her knees to her chest. “Why now? In the many years we have known each other, why did it snap now?”

Cassian shrugged. “I couldn’t tell you. It’s possible that neither of you were ready.”

“I’m not ready now!” Y/N exclaimed. “Az and I barely see each other. He doesn’t have the time for me anymore.”

Cassian gently grasped Y/N’s clasped hands. “Y/N, listen to me when I say that you don’t have anything to worry about. Azriel loves you so much, it is so obvious to everyone around except you. He is in love with you.”

“You can’t be sure, Cass,” Y/N said. “I don’t want to tell him and fuck up out entire relationship.”

“Y/N, tell him,” Cassian said, squeezing her hands. “He deserves to know that he has a mate and he deserves to know that you love him.”

“You are sure that he loves me back?” Y/N asked, her voice quiet.

“I have never been so sure of anything else,” Cassian replied. “And it's Solstice in a few days, you could tell him then.”

“How do I tell him?” Y/N asked. “I don’t even know where I would begin.”

“That is the part I cannot help you with,” Cassian replied. “But whatever you do, I am sure that Azriel will love it. He loves anything you do.”

***

Y/N let out a breath as she walked through the halls to the living room. Her heart was beating out of her chest. She had asked Rhys where Azriel was and he had told her without question. The small box was clutched in her hands. Her plan was to give Azriel his Solstice present early and to tell him that she loved him and that they were mates. It was quite a simple plan but Y/N had to motivate herself to leave her house. She was rippled with nerves.

“Just breathe,” she whispered to herself as she closed in on the living room.

From down the hallway, Y/N could hear the mutter of a familiar voice and she smiled. It was Azriel’s voice. I can do this, she thought.

As Y/N turned into the living room, her heart sank to the floor and the smile vanished from her face. Azriel and Elain stood in the centre of the room in an embrace and their lips only centimetres from one another. Azriel’s fingers were tangled in her hair as his hand rested on the back of her head and his arm was wrapped around her waist. Elain’s hands were placed on Azriel’s chest as her head was tilted up, waiting for their lips to connect.

Neither of them noticed Y/N, too focussed on one another. Tears immediately sprung to Y/N’s eyes. Azriel didn’t love her. If their passionate embrace connoted anything it was that Azriel’s infatuation resided with Elain.

Y/N left the room before either of the two noticed, and she let the tears fall. Azriel wasn’t in love with her. Azriel was in love with Elain.

Cassian was wrong.

***

It was the morning of Solstice and Y/N stood in Rhys’s office waiting for him to enter. After she had left Azriel and Elain the previous night, Y/N had cried herself to sleep. If only she had never fallen for Azriel. If only she wasn’t his mate. Maybe then everything would be okay, she would happily tease Azriel about his infatuations with the middle Archeron sister and she wouldn’t be in this position now.

But that wasn’t the case. Her mate was in love with another. Y/N should have seen the signs. Azriel had spent nearly all of his free time with Elain, the two had gotten so many chances to fall in love since they had began to spend time together.

Rhys entered his office and sent Y/N a smile. “Why did you want a meeting this early, Y/N? It’s Solstice morning, you should be getting ready for tonight.”

“Send me on a mission,” Y/N stated. “Make sure that it is a long one.”

The smile fell from Rhys’s face. “Why?”

“I just need to get away for a while,” Y/N answered.

As she lay in her bed deep into the night, Y/N just knew that she needed to get away from Azriel for a while. Just seeing him knowing that he was in love with someone else hurt her like nothing else. The bond only seemed to heighten the pain. Y/N wasn’t sure how Lucien was coping.

“Where is this coming from, Y/N?” Rhys asked. “You are normally the one most excited about Solstice.”

“This year I am not,” Y/N replied, her response blunt.

Concern clouded over Rhys’s eyes. “Are you okay, Y/N? If there is anything you need to talk about you can–”

“I am fine, Rhys,” Y/N said, forcing a smile onto her face. “I just need to get away, preferably by tonight.”

Rhys studied her for a moment longer before finally nodding, knowing how stubborn Y/N could be. “Give me a few hours and I will have something sorted for you.”

“Thank you, Rhys,” Y/N replied.

Without another word, Y/N left Rhys’s office. She thought that this space from Azriel would lift some of that weight from her shoulders, if anything the weight got heavier.

***

Music was playing and laughter filled the room as gifts were handed out to each person. Azriel remained by the doorway, far away from everyone else– especially Elain. He was not sure what came over him the previous night but he was sure that he never wanted anything like that to happen again. Even as Elain sent him looks, Azriel only ignored them.

“Where’s Y/N?” Feyre asked no one in particular as she piled presents up. “She has a lot of presents to open.”

Rhys’s joy suddenly vanished and Azriel stiffened. “About Y/N,” Rhys began, “she will not be joining us tonight.”

“Why?” The question left Azriel’s mouth before he could stop it.

“This morning she asked me to send her on a mission,” Rhys said. “I don’t know why but she was adamant.”

“For how long?” Cassian asked.

“Three months,” Rhys answered.

“Three months!” Cassian exclaimed. “Why?”

Rhys shrugged. “She didn’t tell me.”

Azriel’s shadows swarmed around his shoulders anxiously. Y/N was gone and she hadn’t even told him where she was going– or why she was going.

Cassian suddenly turned on Azriel. “Why would you let her leave? She told you everything and you let her leave after that.”

“Told me what?” Azriel questioned.

Cassian’s face dropped. “She didn’t tell you?”

“Told me what, Cassian?” Azriel asked, his voice dropping lower.

“Look, Az, this isn’t my place to–”

“What was she going to tell me, Cassian?” Azriel snapped.

“That she is your mate, Az!” Cassian exclaimed. “She told me her plan and said that she was going to do it last night. She really didn’t tell you?”

“She’s my mate?” Azriel whispered, mainly to himself.

The room was silent as everyone awaited Azriel’s reaction. He didn’t move, didn’t breathe. Mate, Azriel thought. Y/N is my mate. The shadows previously moving anxiously around Azriel came to a sudden halt as he pushed himself from the doorway.

“Why did she tell you and not me?” Azriel said, trying to keep his voice level.

“That is not my place to say,” said Cassian. “You will need to talk to Y/N.”

Azriel felt everyone’s gaze fall upon him. He didn’t even register them. All he could think about was Y/N. She was his mate. How long had she known? Why didn’t she tell him? Why did she want to go on a mission?

“Where is she?” Azriel asked, his gaze falling on Rhys. “You said you sent her on a mission. Where is she?”

“The mission was on the continent,” Rhys answered and glanced at the clock. “She asked to be gone by tonight but it wasn’t possible considering the short notice. She might still be at her house if she hasn’t left early.”

Without another word, Azriel raced out of the house, the calls and protests from his family quickly growing silent as soon as he was in the open air and shot to the skies. Azriel was sure he had never flown as fast as he had. Within a matter of minutes, he was outside of Y/N’s house.

He remembered when she had first told everyone she was moving, Azriel had been delighted. But the longer he thought about it, the more distraught he became. Nearly every single night, he would fall asleep listening to Y/N’s heartbeat, even if she was in another room, he would hear it and it would soothe him. During those nights, he had noticed that he didn’t have any nightmares. In fact, all he dreamt of was Y/N.

The lights in Y/N’s house were off and Azriel’s heart sank. If she had already left then he would return and demand Rhys to tell him exactly where she was going. The surrounding area was quiet, even the wind seemed silent. Azriel closed his eyes and hearted a quiet and familiar heartbeat. Y/N’s heartbeat.

Before he even began to think, Azriel was frantically knocking on her door. “Y/N! Please let me in!”

There was a quiet shuffle from inside the house but not any movement of the door Azriel was frantically knocking on. “Y/N, please let me in, sweetheart.”

The term of endearment slipped from his lips before he could stop it but Azriel didn’t care. All he wanted was to talk to Y/N. Talk to his mate.

“Please,” Azriel whispered desperately. “I need to talk to you, Y/N.”

“Please leave, Azriel,” Y/N’s voice came through the door. “I need to leave soon.”

“No you don’t,” Azriel said. “Please don’t.”

“I am,” Y/N said, and the door was ripped open.

There was a small pain in Azriel’s heart as he looked at Y/N. There were dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep and they appeared to be bloodshot. Azriel wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and tell her that everything was okay. But from the look on Y/N’s face, she decided against that.

“Please leave Az,” Y/N whispered.

“No,” Azriel said, forcing himself into her house. “I’m not leaving until I talk to you.”

“I need to get going–”

“When were you going to tell me that I was your mate?” Azriel asked. Y/N stilled and Azriel noticed that she refused to look him in the eye. He stepped closer. “How long have you known?”

Y/N took in a sharp intake of breath before lifting her gaze to meet Azriel’s. “I found out a few days ago. The day I came to you asking if you wanted to go to the bakery with me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Azriel asked softly.

Y/N scoffed. “I tried! Last night.”

Azriel furrowed his eyebrows. “You never came to me last night.”

“I did. I had this whole plan but I showed up and you were with Elain again!” Y/N exclaimed.

“Of course I was with her!” Azriel said. “Rhys asked me to look out for her and make sure she was okay. I’m only doing what he asks.”

Y/N hummed. “Did he ask you to ignore me in the process? Did he ask you to seduce her? Kiss her?”

Azriel’s eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Y/N’s eyes narrowed. “You know exactly what I mean, Azriel. Last night, I walked in on you and Elain.”

His heart seemed to drop to his feet. “You saw us?”

“Yes I did,” Y/N said, taking a step back but Azriel didn’t let her as he took a step forward. “Please just leave me alone, Az.”

“No,” Azriel said. “You are my mate.”

“And?” Y/N said. “It doesn’t matter when you clearly have your sights set on someone else.”

“Don’t say that Y/N!” Azriel snapped.

“Why? It’s true. You spend all of your time with Elain to the point where I never see you.”

Azriel groaned. “I told you, I was doing as Rhys asked.”

Y/N shook her head. “Azriel, for so many months, you have ignored me in favour of her. Every time I ask if you want to do something, you are always busy because you are with Elain. I haven’t even had a full conversation with you in weeks.” Y/N let out a shaky breath. “I don’t want to admit that I am jealous, but I am.”

“Y/N, please, I don’t like Elain like that,” Azriel said desperately.

“Az, please leave. I need to get going,” Y/N said, trying to push past him.

Something overcame Azriel and he wasn’t sure exactly what it was. One second he was standing with his arms by his side and the next his lips were pressed against Y/N’s as her back hit the wall behind her.

Azriel pressed his body against hers as his arms trapped her against the wall. As soon as their lips connected, Azriel felt the bond. The overwhelming feeling caused him to only kiss Y/N harder. It was almost instinct the way his arms wrapped around her body to keep her close to him. He never wanted her to be anywhere else except in his arms. It had been months since he had felt the curves of her body, although this time in a much more intimate setting. He had missed the feeling of her skin on his. He missed the feeling of holding her. He missed everything about her.

Y/N’s hands came to rest on his chest and Azriel melted further into the kiss, his arms wrapping around her waist tighter. It wasn’t until Y/N used all of her strength to push him away and his mouth was torn from hers. As Azriel opened his eyes, he wished he didn’t. Betrayal was lingering behind the colour he loved so much.

“Why did you do that?” Y/N whispered, clearly hurt.

“Because it's you who I want, Y/N. Not Elain,” Azriel said, his hand trailing up her body to rest on her cheek.

Y/N shook her head. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Lie to my face, Azriel,” Y/N said. “You can’t just quickly switch where your affections lie.”

“They lie with you–”

“Oh, please stop!” Y/N exclaimed, pushing Azriel further away from her. “I saw how close you and Elain were last night. I know that Rhys asked you to look after her but did that really need to entail pushing me away. If you really wanted to court Elain, Azriel. I would have helped, no matter how painful it would have been for me. There was no reason for you to push me away.”

“I already told you that I don’t want Elain. I only want you,” Azriel said, growing more and more desperate.

Y/N scoffed. “Only because of the stupid mating bond.”

“It’s not stupid–”

“Yes it is! If it wasn’t stupid, why didn’t it snap when I fell in love with you years ago!”

Azriel stilled at Y/N’s confession. Y/N loved him. She loved him. Those words Azriel was too afraid to say himself, Y/N had said to him. His mind screamed at him to respond but as soon as the words reached his mouth he couldn’t get them out.

“You say that you hold no affection for Elain but your actions speak differently, Azriel,” Y/N said, stepping past him.

“Y/N, please listen to me,” Azriel said, reaching out to grip her hand.

Her fingers seemed to curl around his before she seemed to think better of it and pulled away.

“Tell Cassian to come and lock my door assuming he still has the keys,” Y/N said before she left through the front door.

“Y/N,” Azriel said, desperation evident in his voice as he followed her to her front garden.

But Y/N was nowhere to be seen, she was gone, taking Azriel’s heart with her in the process.

***

It had been days since Y/N had left and Azriel hadn’t left her house. Each night he would curl up in her bed missing the scent of her. Even though the bed was too small to accommodate for his wings, it didn’t force Azriel to move. Rhys had tried to contact him multiple times but Azriel had ignored him as he buried his head further into Y/N’s pillows.

There was a pain in his chest that had never been there before, it was as if he could feel all of the pain and betrayal Y/N felt and Azriel thought he deserved it. He deserved every bit of it. He should have explained better, he should have sat Y/N down and explained everything he was feeling in detail.

Azriel pulled the covers further over his body, inhaling her scent. It was fading in favour of his own and Azriel hated that. As he closed his eyes, loud knocks sounded throughout the house. Azriel groaned.

“Azriel,” Elain’s voice shouted through the door. “I know you are there.”

If Azriel didn’t want the ground to swallow him up before, he wanted it to now. He had no intention of speaking to Elain again– at least for a while. That night of their almost kiss was a mistake.

“Azriel!” Elain shouted, her voice seemingly more irritated.

With a groan, Azriel lifted himself from Y/N’s bed and he immediately missed the comfort it brought him. He dragged his feet out of the room and down the stairs until he stood in front of the door. Through the frosted glass panes he could see Elain standing there, her arms folded across her chest.

Azriel’s hand shook as he reached out and opened the door. He revealed Elain’s face and there was an emotion upon it which he had never seen before. It reminded him of Y/N’s expression when she had pushed him away after he had kissed her.

“What are you doing here, Elain?” Azriel asked, his voice hoarse from not talking for days.

“What are you doing here, Azriel?” Elain questioned, forcing her way into Y/N’s house. “No one has seen you in days.”

“I’ve been here,” Azriel replied.

“So it seems,” Elain said, surveying the living room. “But why are you still here? Y/N left days ago.”

Azriel remained silent as Elain inspected the flowers sitting in the middle of Y/N’s coffee table. He wanted her to leave. He didn’t want to be anywhere near her.

“I know,” Azriel responded.

Elain sat down on the sofa and finally met Azriel’s gaze. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

“What?” Azriel said, wanting nothing more than to bury himself underneath Y/N’s many blankets and wish the day away.

“Ever since that night, you haven’t even looked me in the eye. Why?” Elain’s eyes filled with tears but Azriel could tell she was trying to fight them back. It only made him feel guiltier.

Azriel’s mouth opened and closed, trying to search for an answer. But every single answer he thought of would only hurt her feelings. “Please leave, Elain. It will be better for both of us.”

Elain shook her head. “I’m not leaving until I get an answer, Azriel. Why did you pull away from me? Did all of those dates mean nothing to you?”

“They weren’t dates,” Azriel found himself saying.

Elain looked as if she had been struck. “But you have taken me to dinner, on walks in the park, to that bakery that just opened.”

“They weren’t dates,” Azriel said, only feeling guiltier.

Elain frowned. “Then what were they, Azriel? Because you have been very invested in my life since I have arrived here.”

“I was tasked by Rhys to keep an eye on you,” Azriel admitted, ripping the bandage away.

“What?” Elain asked, her voice quiet. “So all of those days were you just pretending to like me?”

“No,” Azriel said, running his fingers through his hair. “No, it wasn’t like that.”

“Then what was it, Azriel?” Elain questioned, an edge to her voice.

“I tried, okay? I really tried to like you, I really did,” Azriel said, admitting to the middle Archeron sister what he never thought he would. “That's why I agreed to go on all of those outings with you. I could never think of you more than a friend.”

“You were trying to force yourself to fall in love with me?” Elain asked. Azriel broke eye contact and looked to the floor, he didn’t want to see her hurt expression any longer. “Why?” She followed up.

“If I forced myself to love you, then maybe I wouldn’t still love–”

Azriel couldn’t say it. He had never said it out loud before. If he said it then it would become too real and there would be no turning back.

Elain studied his expression, rising from the sofa. “Y/N. You are in love with Y/N.” Azriel’s silence was just as good of an answer spoken for Elain. “Why would you use me like that, Azriel? Unlike you, I actually began to feel something for you. I thought you returned those feelings.”

Something wet fell down Azriel’s cheek. He hadn’t even realised he had been crying. “I am sorry, Elain. I am so sorry.”

“Can you at least tell me why? You owe me that much.”

“I fell in love with Y/N a long time ago, long before you were even born,” Azriel began. “We were friends at first, but it wasn’t long before I fell in love. She is so perfect in every single way. Her intelligence, her kindness, her strength, her beauty. Everything.” Elain nodded although Azriel could see the sadness in her expression. He continued nevertheless. “I never thought that she would love me back. I never thought that she would return my feelings so I repressed them.”

“How did you manage that?” Elain asked, quietly.

“It was difficult. I have killed, tortured many for information and sometimes that takes its toll. But hiding my love for Y/N had to be the most difficult thing I have ever done. It wasn’t until you showed up and took an interest in me where I tried to fall for you instead.” Azriel picked at a loose thread on the shirt he wore. “I thought it was a perfect plan. You are kind, beautiful and understanding. I thought it would be easy for me. And when Rhys tasked me with looking after you, I thought it would be even easier. But whenever I was with you, all I could think about was Y/N. And when I nearly kissed you–”

“All you could think about was Y/N,” Elain finished.

Azriel nodded. “When I opened my eyes and saw you, I panicked and left without any explanation. From the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry, Elain.”

“I don’t forgive you, Azriel. You used me because you loved someone else and were simply trying to distract yourself.” Elain said and there was a long pause before she began to speak again. “But I cannot blame you. Loving someone can be hard and difficult and can make you do stupid things. And Y/N is perfect and I don’t like that you made me out to be some kind of villain in her eyes.”

Azriel opened his mouth to speak but Elain cut him off.

“Please don’t apologise again, Azriel,” Elain said. “It would have never worked out between us. I never want to be someone’s second choice and that was all I was to you.” Elain began to walk over to the front door. “It will take me a while to forgive you, Azriel. But listen to me when I say this. Tell Y/N the truth, tell her everything.”

“I’ve already fucked up whatever friendship we had, I don’t want to make it worse,” Azriel whispered.

“You are her mate and her best friend, the one who knows her better than anyone, do you truly believe that your whole friendship is gone because of one stupid decision you made?” Elain paused as she stood on the threshold. “I hope you find your happiness, Azriel. I am going to find mine and I will not be a back up choice for a male who is too afraid to admit their feelings.”

“I hope you find it, Elain,” Azriel said. “And I hope you can forgive me someday.”

With a simple nod of her head, Elain left the house, closing the door behind her. Azriel was left alone once again.

***

It had been a month since Y/N was last in Velaris. She thought that the trip would be good for her to get her mind off of Azriel but she wasn’t needed as much as she thought she would. For the month she had been on the continent, Y/N was sure that she had only done a few hours of work, the rest of her time she spent in her room she had been so graciously allocated.

And in those lonely hours all she could think of was Azriel. His had been the last face she had seen before she winnowed away and it was ingrained into her brain. The hurt expression on his face, the desperation that lingered beneath it. Y/N turned over in the bed. It was comfortable but it was nothing like the one at her house. She missed being in Velaris and she missed her family– and that included Azriel.

“Y/N,” a guard rushed into her room. “A letter has come for you.”

Y/N pushed herself up from the bed and took the letter from the guard's hand. “Thank you,” she muttered.

As soon as Y/N looked down at her name in the familiar writing, she felt her heart rate increase. Tearing into the envelope, Y/N pulled the letter from its confines. Rhys’s writing was a welcome sight of home but his words were not.

The words she read about how Azriel was faring after her departure sent shocks to her heart. She knew it was stupid for her to feel sorry for him, after all he had brought everything upon himself, but she couldn’t help it. She was in love with him and that would never change.

The moment Y/N finished the letter, she picked up her travel bag, she hadn’t even unpacked anything, and exited the bedroom, wanting nothing more than to go home.

***

As Y/N appeared in front of her house, she could immediately feel the air shift. Even though it was her own house, she was reluctant to enter. Everything suddenly felt too real.

Finally Y/N pushed open her door and found Rhys and Cassian inside while Azriel sat on her couch, his wings slumped behind him. Y/N’s heart immediately fell at the sight of the shadowsinger. The bags under his eyes were prominent and he had clearly lost weight. Y/N had never seen him in such a state.

Rhys’s gaze met Y/N’s. “Cassian and I will wait outside.”

Y/N didn’t respond as he gaze shifted back to Azriel who continued to look down at the coffee table, fixated on the dead flowers. As soon as Rhys and Cassian had stepped outside, Y/N slowly shuffled closer to Azriel and sat on the couch next to him. The bond connecting their souls seemed to hum happily as they were finally reunited.

“Azriel?” Y/N broke the silence.

“I am so sorry Y/N.” Azriel’s voice was hoarse and quiet. “About Elain. About ignoring you. About kissing you. About everything.”

When Azriel lifted his gaze, Y/N could see the sadness within them and she could feel it in her chest.

“Why?” It was all Y/N could say.

Azriel sighed. “When you told me you loved me, I was shocked because I thought that someone so kind, so smart, so beautiful, so…perfect, would never love me back.”

Y/N stilled. “You love me?”

Azriel nodded. “Y/N, I have loved you for centuries. I was afraid that if you ever found out, it would ruin our whole friendship. And if I lost you, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. You…complete me. I feel like I can always be myself around you. Before I met you I always felt like there was something missing in my life and when you stumbled into it, it was as if everything fell into place.”

“But everything with Elain? You say you love me but you have been surrounding yourself with her for nearly a year.” Y/N said.

“I never felt anything but friendship for Elain,” Azriel admitted. “But I tried to like her romantically. I tried to force myself to fall in love with her.”

“Why would you do that, Azriel?” Y/N questioned.

“Because I never thought that you would love me back,” Azriel said. “If I fell in love with Elain then maybe I could forget all about my feelings for you, maybe they would disappear. But the more time I spent with Elain, the more I realised that I would never be able to fall for her because I was so utterly in love with you that I thought about you every minute I was with her. I thought about you that night before Solstice. When I opened my eyes and saw her instead of you, I panicked. I wanted it to be you.”

Y/N frowned, taking in Azriel’s words. “But what of Elain? Why would you mess with her feelings like that?”

Azriel’s shoulders seemed to slump. “A few days after you left, Elain came to me and demanded to know everything that was going on. It is safe to say that she is not happy with me.”

“Good,” Y/N said. “Because I am not entirely happy with you, Azriel. Why didn’t you just speak to me? Why didn’t you tell me you loved me? You just assumed that I didn’t return your feelings.”

“I couldn’t know for sure,” Azriel said. “I know it was stupid of me–”

“It was,” Y/N said. “In the three centuries I have known you, this is the stupidest thing you have done. We have always been open with one another.”

“I know. I regret everything I did. I regret using Elain to try and get over my feelings. I regret pushing you away in favour of her. I just never thought you could possibly like me back?”

“Why?”

“Because you are perfect!” Azriel exclaimed. “You are everything I am not. You are everything good in the world. You are a goddess in my eyes.” Azriel tore his eyes away from Y/N and focussed on his hand folded in his lap. “I am damaged.”

“Don’t say that,” Y/N said, moving to sit on the coffee table in front of him. “Don’t ever say that Azriel.”

“But it’s true,” Azriel said. “I have so much blood on my hands, Y/N.”

Y/N slowly reached forward and took Azriel’s hands in hers. He tried to pull them away but she held on tight. “Azriel, I have blood on my hands too. I am not perfect at all. Neither of us are, evident by the way we both handled our emotions.”

The shadowsingers gaze was no longer fixated on his hands as he slowly met Y/N’s gaze once more. “I am not going to easily forgive you, Azriel. You messed with Elain’s emotions and you made me feel unimportant as you pushed me away.”

Azriel’s shoulders deflated.

“But,” Y/N continued. “That does not mean that I don’t still love you. My mate.”

All the weight on Azriel’s shoulders appeared to be lifted and his eyes seemed to clear. “Say that again…” he whispered.

Y/N leaned forward and pressed her forehead against his. “My mate.”

Azriel exhaled slowly and pulled Y/N’s body closer to his until he could circle her waist with his arms. “I am so sorry, Y/N. For everything.”

“I know you are,” Y/N said, threading her fingers through his hair.

“I love you, Y/N,” Azriel mumbled into her shoulder. “Will you ever be able to forgive me?”

Y/N pulled away and rested her forehead on his. His eyes were closed but slowly opened as Y/N gently caressed his face. “You might have hurt me, Azriel, but I will forgive you. I know you well enough to know how you sometimes process things and act upon things.” Y/N pressed a tender kiss to his forehead. “And sometime in the near future, I will be ready to accept the bond.”

Azriel’s eyes lit up. “You will accept the bond?”

“Of course I will,” Y/N replied. “I am in love with you Azriel. No matter how much you convinced yourself that I never could, I do love you. I wouldn’t want anyone else as my mate. But first, I want us to get back to where we were before. Before I accept the bond, I just want my best friend back.”

“I love you so much,” Azriel breathed out.

And when he placed his lips upon hers, Y/N welcomed them.

#acotar x reader #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel #azriel fluff #azriel angst

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geeky-politics-46 · 3 months

Text

Kinktober 2023 - Day 7

Sex Toys with Bucky Barnes

"The Gift"

Smut - Explicit content - NSFW - 18+ only!

Summary: You give Bucky a gift he never knew he wanted.

Warnings: Smut (NSFW) - 18+ ONLY - masturbation, sex toys, homemade porn, dirty talk, pet names, langcorn, reference to oral & vaginal sex, Bucky being a needy boy.

Bucky paced back and forth, trying to avoid staring at the box on the bed. His fingers pulling on his hair and biting at his bottom lip, trying to find a way to direct his attention anywhere else, but his mind kept pulling him back. The ache between his legs was beginning to throb each time he looked at the box & let his thoughts drift back to you.

You had to know what even just your innocent little texts did to him when you had been gone this long. Even just a sweet "miss you so much, Buck" sent his blood straight to his cock. It gets him thinking about how you can be all sugar sweet around everyone else then turn into such a dirty girl the minute you get to your bedroom. Hell you loved nothing more than whispering something filthy to him right before walking in a room with someone else just to get him wound up.

He had no idea what he had unleashed the first time you two started getting a little frisky. He loved how you seemed a little old fashioned when you started dating. How you made him court you made him earn each and every little kiss. By the time you two had gotten to the point of sex being a possibility, he was nervous he would scare you away by being too aggressive. Little did he know what awaited him.

He will never forget the night he found out how bad you really were. You had been dating a couple of weeks and had the compound to yourselves for an evening, so it wasn't surprising when watching a movie devolved into a hot and heavy make-out session. He tried not to let on that you had him hard as a rock. He didn't want to put any pressure on you. Then, as you were adjusting to hook your leg around him, your thigh brushed up against his erection making him moan against your lips. He hoped maybe you hadn't noticed or, at the very least, were going to pretend you didn't feel the massive bulge in his pants.

You pulled back to look in his eyes, and he looked like a deer in headlights. He was terrified you were gonna slap him or never want to see him again. He didn't expect you to let out a dark little chuckle and bite his bottom lip. You sucked his lip into your mouth, then let it go with a wet pop before licking it once. He sat frozen as you moved your lips to whisper in his ear. Your voice dropped an octave as you spoke.

"Well, well, soldier, seems like you're enjoying this, huh? Enjoying having my mouth on you. Have you thought about what else I can do with my mouth?" With that, you sucked his earlobe into your mouth, and he let out a little high-pitched squeal he didn't know he could make.

"Maybe my mouth is a bit too much for now, hmm. Don't want you to blow just yet, Buck. What about my hands? Bet you've thought of them touching you. Stroking you all over."

As you spoke, you moved one hand up to his hair, leaving the other wrapped around his neck, keeping him close to you. Accenting the end of each sentence with the particular touch you described.

"Thought about my fingers pulling on your hair." You purred, gripping his soft, short, dark brown hair and giving it a soft tug.

"My nails scraping down your back." You gently pulled your nails in a straight line down his spine, stopping at the base of it.

"My palm sliding up and down your chest", you let your hand circle his waist and slide up under his shirt, pressing your entire hand flat to the center of his strong chest. You could feel his heart pounding. He had his eyes closed and was trying to keep his breathing steady. His nostrils flared. He didn't want to let you know how close you had him to losing all control.

You paused for a moment, lulling him into a trap to make him open his eyes. You kissed his lips softly and sweetly. Innocently. Then, after rubbing your nose against his, you pulled back to see his beautiful blue eyes.

Like a cobra, you struck. Using the hand looped around his neck, you grabbed his hair and yanked his head back. You rose to your knees, so you were looking down at him and slowly started pulling your hand downward.

A wicked grin on your face as you dragged the next sentence out word by word. You knew you had him exactly where you wanted him.

".. and I bet that there's something else you've thought about my hands doing, isn't that right, Buck? Bet you've thought about it so much. Bet you've thought about it after every date we've had."

You could feel him inhale sharply as you touched the top of his abdomen. You slowly started to curl your fingers in, leaving just your index finger touching him.

"Maybe you've thought about it when you're in the shower..."

You felt his abs contract under your fingertip.

"I'm sure you've thought about it in bed at night too. I know I have, baby."

Your fingertip hit the top of his jeans, and just for a second, you stopped. Giving him a chance to push you off of him if he didn't want you to go any farther. When all that came from him was a little whimper, you let your fingertip continue over the button & down his fly.

"Bet you've thought about me touching you here. Thought about me touching, and rubbing, and stroking your hard cock. You feel even bigger than I imagined, baby."

After hitting the bottom of his groin with just your fingertip, you turned your hand and gripped him with your whole hand. Starting to massage his entire bulge. A loud moan escaped as he fought the urge to thrust into your hand.

He was now staring at you with his eyes wide & his mouth hanging open. What happened to the sweet shy thing who blushed when he brought you flowers? Here you were a little sexbomb on the verge of making him cum in his pants and you had only just started touching him.

From then on, you just kept surprising him with how dirty you could be. So, really, he shouldn't have been that surprised when he found the naughty little gift you left him when you went on your mission.

It was the first time either of you had to leave since the 2 of you started dating, let alone having sex. You knew the both of you would be missing each other something bad. So the last night you were together there were lots of pics and few little videos. Bucky knew they were mostly for him. You were gonna have your hands full with the mission.

You had awoken something in him that had been asleep since before he became the Winter Soldier. He couldn't get enough of you, of your body. Of your perfect wet little pussy. He loved telling you that too. That was why you got him the gift.

It was a sex toy. A Fleshlight.

He picked up the card and read it again:

Something to play with until you can enjoy the real thing again. I picked the one I thought looked the most like your best girl ;)

XOXO

Your best girl and your girlfriend too

He hadn't dared to open the toy yet. He wanted to, but he wasn't sure he could. His 1940s sensibilities were getting the best of him. He wasn't a prude by any means, but the idea of fucking a plastic toy designed to look like a pussy just seemed so... dirty.

Of course, that was also the appeal, wasn't it? Especially the fact that you had picked one you thought looked like your pussy. His pussy. He was curious if it really did. It was hard to tell from the outer box.

There was no harm in taking a peek, right? You had sent him a message after you knew he had found your gift. Telling him that if he didn't want to use it or it weirded him out that he didn't have to use it or even keep it.

He would just have a look and then put it away. Figure out his feelings a bit more before he decided what to do. He at least had to know if it did look like you. Although he would put money that it wouldn't be as perfect as yours. Nothing would ever be as perfect to him as your pussy.

He double-checked to make sure his door was locked. Approaching the box and tentatively picking it up. He looked over the images on the outside and felt himself cringe. It felt like the naked woman on the box was judging him. She looked nothing like you and did absolutely nothing for him. He quickly unsealed and opened the box, and pulled out the toy wrapped in tissue paper. Not sure if he wanted to unwrap just the end or the whole toy.

He decided to go right for what had him the most curious. The soft, skin colored silicone slowly coming in to view. He let the fingers of his right hand stroke the edge of the silicone. To his surprise, it did feel rather nice under his touch. Now, he was ready to reveal the toy fully. He bit his bottom lip between his teeth as he pulled away the last bit of tissue. A moan pulling deep in his throat.

Oh fuck, it did look like your pussy. His pussy. His mouth watered and his pants immediately got tight. He couldn't tear his eyes off of it now. He let his thumb stroke over the fake clit on the toy and swore he could almost hear you shudder. Then he used his index and middle finger to trace the plump labia of the toy and momentarily stretch the hole.

He was right, it was nowhere close to as perfect as your juicy pussy, but it was much more tempting than he could ever have thought possible. He wanted to lick it like he would lick you, and he wanted to fuck it like he would fuck you. Was he really going to do this? He picked up your note and read it one more time, imagining the look on your face and the things you would say to him if you were here watching him.

Yep. He was really going to do this.

He quickly stuffed the paper wrapping in the box and threw the box under his bed. Pulling the blankets back on his bed and dropping the toy there. Quickly opening his nightstand and fishing for the bottle of lube. Throwing his shirt and jeans off as fast as he could before moving to lay in the very middle of the bed. That way, he could smell your pillow and pretend you were really there with him.

The toy momentarily forgotten as he began scrolling through the various naughty photos and videos he had of you. Starting to palm and rub at his hard cock through his underwear. He could practically hear you saying how much you loved seeing him in his just his boxer briefs. You always said his cock looked incredible straining against the tight fabric. How they hugged his thighs and his ass perfectly. That you never thought a guy in his underwear could get you that wet.

Fuck you made him feel so good. He forgot all the things he hated about his body when you touched and praised him. You made him feel sexy. You made him want to show off for you. Making a very clear point of saying how all these photos and videos weren't just for him. Maybe he would send you a picture when he was done?

He stopped at a video clip where you were sitting between his legs, slowly taking off your bra and panties. Stopping to rub at him a few times or shake your tits at him. He heard his own voice telling you to pull at your nipples. His cock twitched at the moan that fell from your lips. He knew what was coming next, so he quickly set the phone down reaching for the lube and the pussy toy.

He flipped the cap up on the lube and let some of the slick clear liquid coat the pads of his fingers just in time to hear himself tell you to take off your panties and show him your pussy. To show him his pussy and how wet you were for him. As you did exactly what he told you to in the video, he let his lube slicked fingers start to pet and stroke the outer lips of the toy. His long middle finger running a small circle around the hole, barely dipping inside before sliding back out and around.

Once the toy was nice and slick, just like your cunt now on display in the video, he set both it and his phone down just long enough to pull his underwear off. He gasped as he felt the cool air of the room make contact with his leaking tip. He was wetter than he thought he was, clearly underestimating his own need.

With his phone in one hand and the toy in the other, he waited until he heard his own voice in the video again. Waiting until he told you to come and rub your pretty pussy all over his cock. To get him nice and wet while you made your little pussy feel good.

The next video was a close up of his cock slotted between your pussy lips as you slid yourself back and forth against his shaft. He started to copy your motions in real time, letting the toy slide against his cock in time with your movements. A needy little moan falling from his lips when the toy caressed the ridge under the head of his cock.

His hips unexpectedly bucking a couple of times when he heard your whimpers in the video. If he closed his eyes, he would never think that it was a toy in his hand and not the real thing. It still wasn't you, nothing would ever feel as good as you, but fuck him it still felt so good.

He couldn't hold himself back much longer, so he flicked to the video of his cock slowly sliding in and out of you cunt. He could never get over how incredible you looked stretched around his length, how his cock glistened with you slick everytime he pulled back out. Your swollen clit front and center and just begging for attention.

He pulled his attention back to the toy in his hand. Angling it so his tip pressed against the hole of the toy. Adding just enough pressure to feel it start to stretch around his thick leaking head, just like your pussy would. A gasp pulled from his lips as the toy slowly engulfed his tip. Pulling it back up before pushing it down just a little more.

Repeating the same action over and over. Pushing down so the toy swallowed another inch of his cock, then pulling all the way up. Them pushing back down again until he had finally bottomed out. The video on his phone was momentarily forgotten. It felt incredible. So tight and snug and wet around his aching cock.

His hips acting on their own as he started rutting into the toy. Whimpering as it seemed to suck his cock back in. He fought the urge to start frantically fucking the toy. As good as it felt, and holy fuck did it feel good, he still wanted to fantasize it was your cunt he was fucking.

He let his eyes close again with his cock fully sheathed in the fake pussy. Quickly rolling onto his side and burying his face in your pillow as his hips started to thrust hard and fast. Moaning as your smell filled his nostrils. Replaying all the mornings you had woken up together only to have innocent spooning turn into fucking.

Bucky let himself start to whimper little praises as if you were really there. His vibranium hand grabbed at the blankets and clamped around your pillow. Pulling them closer to him. His mind turned to mush as the toy practically sucked the life out of him.

If he focused, he could almost hear you responding to him. Keening at both his praises and degradation. Saying filthy things right back to him.

“Fuck! Feels so good, baby. Always take my cock so fucking well. Can't wait to have you back in my arms. Can't wait to fuck you for real the second you are home. Miss you so much.”

He felt the heat of his climax building and his balls pulling tighter. Whimpering as he bit your pillow. Imagining he was biting and marking the soft, warm flesh on your neck. His flesh starting to tingle, and sweat starting to form on his brow. His hips thrusting so hard and fast the mattress was creaking. His needy groans and the wet suction of toy echoing through the room.

“Gonna cum, babydoll. Fuck, gonna cum so hard for you!”

Bucky thought his soul might actually leave his body with how hard he came. Spurt after spurt of his warm release filling the toy. A faint thought in the back of his mind about the possibility the toy might start to overflow.

Slowly his orgasm faded to electric aftershocks of pleasure. His breath still coming in gasps. His cock starting to soften, still nestled in the warm silicone that suddenly felt nowhere near as comforting as being inside of you. Even if it could give him an incredible orgasm, he was well aware that it wouldn't provide the loving and intimate aftercare that you always gave him. Snuggling his face into your pillow once again, he smiled as he thought about when he would get to hold you in post-coital bliss again.

When he finally caught his breath, he looked back to where he had dropped his phone earlier. The video had ended. Frozen on a closeup of your face with the most wicked smile on your face and the mischievous twinkle in your eyes, he knew so well. He wondered if you were missing him.

He hopes you are missing him, because fuck is he missing you; and your gift only made him miss you more. He was sure he was addicted to you.

After going to shower and cleaning himself up, along with cleaning the toy, he noticed the light on his phone blinking. Reaching for it once he was settled back down in bed. Frankly, he felt exhausted after trying out your present. Flicking on the screen, he saw that there was a new text message. It was from you. It was an emoji of a smiling Devil followed only by three words.

Enjoying your gift?

--------------------------------

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Back to main masterlist

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