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ltwharfy · 2 months

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"Bob's Burgers" Season 6 Episode Ranking Rewatch (Long Post)

So, I've been rewatching "Bob's Burgers" from the beginning and ranking the episodes using the spreadsheet that @babsvibes created! If you want to know why I'm doing this or how I view the 1-5 rating scale, you can check out my Season 1 post! If you want to check out any of the other seasons, I've been using the "bob's burgers episode ranking rewatch" tag for all of them.

Now, on to Season 6:

Average (Mean) Score: 4.47

Mode (Most Common) Ranking: 5

Ranking breakdown: 11 5s; 6 4s; 2 3s

Season as a whole thoughts:

Another really solid season! The thing that I remember standing out to me even as it was originally airing was the number of callbacks to earlier seasons, and especially the first season, with the title (and plot) of "Sexy Dance Healing" and the title of "Sacred Couch". I remember wondering at the time if there was some sort of significance to it (my fear being that maybe the show was preparing to wind down- a lot of my favorite shows ended after 7 seasons). I wonder if maybe the production staff was feeling nostalgic with the 100th episode coming up- or if they just enjoy making callbacks as much as I enjoy spotting them (and making them in my fics)! Either way, it's the thing that stood out the most this season.

Some thoughts on specific episodes (and feel free to ask if you want my thoughts on an episode I didn't comment on):

"Sliding Bobs": Doing the rewatch, I've noticed that I generally enjoy the three-story episodes but I think this my absolute favorite because I love the framing story so much. I honestly find what Linda says to Tina at the end, about the universe being random but sometimes everything lining up and going your way, to be really beautiful and meaningful. I'll take random crap going my way over fate any day.

"The Land Ship": One of the rare episodes from the middle seasons of "Bob's Burgers" where neither the A plot or the B plot interests me. There are some funny bits ( I mean, Mr. Ambrose is in it, so of course there are some funny bits) but overall it's pretty meh in my book.

"The Hauntening": As I mentioned when discussing Season 5, I got to see a clip from the animatic of this when I saw "Bob's Burgers Live" at the Chicago Theater, so that will always make this special to me. Even without that, it would still be one of my favorite Halloween episodes, and I love Boyz 4 Now song and video at the end!

"The Gene and Courtney Show": Another follow up on Season 5, but as I mentioned when discussing "Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl", the rewatch has made me realize that I really love the way Courtney's character and her relationship with Gene developed over the show, and this is a big part of it. Gene's song at the end of the episode is so beautiful! This isn't my favorite Valentine's Day episode (that's next season...) but it's probably in my top 5.

"House of 1,000 Bounces": Bob: "Can pigeons open doors?" Teddy: "Do you mean metaphorically? In the right situation, I suppose." This may be my favorite Teddy line on the show, and the pigeon subplot is absolutely fantastic in my book. But, you're probably expecting me to talk about the Rudy plot, so...I think it's fascinating the range of takes there are on this episode. I've literally seen people list this episode as the reason they ship Louise/Rudy and other people list it as the reason they don't ship it. For me, it isn't either of those things (I was already on board the ship) but I to think it is a good story about their friendship. One of my (many) similarities with Rudy is that as a kid (and honestly, still now) I cried pretty easily. And there were definitely other kids who noticed this and would just try to get me upset because they thought it was funny. So, I love the fact that as soon as Louise realizes how upset Rudy is, she works to fix the situation. She cares that he's upset. I also think it's fascinating to watch "Bridge Over Troubled Rudy" after this one because it almost seems like the show realized they resolved Rudy and Louise's conflict a bit too neatly here and needed to explore that further (several seasons later...). If you want more of my thoughts on the role those episodes played in the evolution of this relationship between two cartoon nine year-olds that I overthink about, you can read my best non-fic piece of "Bob's Burgers" related writing.

"Stand by Gene": I've mentioned before that I love episodes that involve the Belcher kids and a diverse group of their friends going on an adventure, and I think this might be the best of them all. In my mind, it's kind of the Trope-namer, I think of those types of episodes as "Stand by Gene"-episodes (even if "The Belchies" was probably the first one).

"The Hormone-iums": This episode is really one of the two that inspired me to this rewatch! Honestly, I just sort of vaguely remembered its existence and had no clue if I liked it- so if I rated it without rewatching it I probably would've given it a 3 or maybe a 4. But I happened to catch it on TV and realized how freaking funny it is! A wonderful Tina puberty plot; the wine shoe B plot (complete with Louise wearing mouse ears on her bunny ears during their presentation to Calvin and Felix, which is basically the cutest thing ever); great songs; a joke about Tony Danza- this episode has it all, in my book! Definitely a 5; the original sleeper hit.

"Pro-Tiki/Con-Tiki": This is a pretty funny episode. Chris Parnell is a hilarious actor, and as an "Archer" fan it was fun to have him act opposite H. Jon Benjamin in a different role. But I give this one a 3 because I hate the central conflict and the way it is resolved. It's one of the few episodes of the show where the actual plot and its ending really bother me. Warren and Bob are both kind of idiots in this one. Bob has a super-rich friend who is willing to lend him money to help his business, but instead Bob chooses to frequently be on the verge of going broke because of American small business owner macho capitalism self-reliance independence nonsense? Screw that. The other Belchers were right to be mad at Bob for his actions in this episode; he's lucky they forgave him.

"Bye Bye Boo Boo": I love Louise's crush on Boo Boo so much! It is an absolute treat any time it gets brought up! It's one of the few things that completely knocks Louise off her game, and it is wonderful for that. (Also, a pretty accurate portrayal of what it feels like to have a crush, regardless of your age or gender.) Honestly, after Roudise, Louise/Boo Boo might be the Louise ship with the next most appeal to me (do they have a ship name? It has to be "Lou Boo", right?)

"The Horse Rider-er": Did you know that being the voice of Jericho is widely considered to be Paul Rudd's second most iconic role after Peter Klaven in "I Love You, Man"? (It's not, I'm just making a weird joke to amuse myself.)

"Glued, Where's My Bob?": They did a great job for the 100th episode! Honestly, if the show ever gets a planned series finale, I kind of hope the last scene is something similar to the climax of this episode- all our favorite recurring characters hanging out in and around the restaurant and supporting Bob. (Except, maybe it would be for something good, like Bob making a really amazing burger, rather than him being glue to the toilet...)

Random thoughts (stuff that doesn't affect the ratings):

-I wish they had handled the Frond/Gayle relationship a bit better. I actually think they make sense as a couple and I wish they had done more with them before breaking them up off screen. Or, they even could of kept them together (although, I understand the writers thinking it's funnier to have them single.) But at the very least, I wish they could've aired the three episodes that discuss the relationship in an order that makes sense! Why did they air "Gayle Makin' Bob Sled" before "The Cook, the Steve, the Gayle, & Her Lover"? (I mean, probably something to do with Fox's schedule and holidays and football and so forth but it still annoys me.)

-I literally just noticed that the title of the episode is "Gayle Makin' Bob Sled", I'd always read it as "Gayle Making" and thought it was just a straightforward title and now I am realizing it was probably actually supposed to be a pun on the Jamaican bobsled team immortalized in the movie "Cool Runnings" (and discussed by Gene in my favorite Christmas episode "God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins"). God, I love the "Bob's Burgers" writing staff and the length they will go for a silly 80s/90s pop culture pun!

See you in Season 7! The post could be up relatively soon, since I've actually completed the rewatch of it, too. (Spoiler: Season 4 might be getting knocked out of first place...)

#bob's burgers #bob's burgers season 6 #bob's burgers episode ranking rewatch #long post

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little-leaf-man · 1 year

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*knock knock* interview ask flood be upon ye. 5,8,13,16 and 22 for Hosea my friend Hosea, 2,7,17 for Mozzerella, 5,9,10,15,20 and 25 for Dutch :3

My god Myta. This really is a flood there's numbers all up in my askbox. I haven't seen this many since I was taking my GCSEs. HERE I GO (I'll copy-paste any if they've been answered before) (I'm glad you like my little guys) Hosea:

5. What is your favorite thing to do in your free time?

"Free time? Well, when I have the chance I like socialising. Which sometimes ends up in fighting. Which means I get to put people in their place. Oooo! Also looking for clothes that flatter me! Can't go wrong with some new fashion."

8. What do you think had the biggest impact on you growing up?

"Growing up? That's something fleshy creatures love doing, my dear. I never had to 'grow up'."

13.You’re given an unlimited budget to build anything you want! What do you build and where do you build it?

"I'm building a huge swimming pool over Phlunt's house. Maybe he'll drown if he dares step outside then. Put some other people I don't like in there too."

16. Describe your perfect day.

"Hum. Not something I actually think about, in all honesty. Get pissed? Watch men fight? Kill another god?. Don't know."

22. What’s the easiest way to flirt with you?

"Worship the ground I walk on. If you're worth my time I'll pay attention. Flatter me. Don't be ridiculous though."

Mozzerela:

2. Who is your best friend? Tell us about them!

"Best friend?! Oh geez, I don't think I have a best friend. I also feel kinda mean ranking my friends, they're all so cool! Maybe one time, well, a LONG time ago I would have said Ioxxi but..." [She makes an ehhh motion] "She turned out to be not that nice"

7. Who do you look up to?

"Everyone, pretty much! Haha! But if I was being serious? It's Aurene! So much on her shoulders, but still tries her best!"

17. What makes you laugh?

"Aw, real silly stuff. Like pictures of beans with nonsense words. Real silly stuff..."

Dutch:

5. What is your favorite thing to do in your free time?

"S'pose working alone in a forge. Ain't happening a lot these days, me being on the road 'n all. Fishin' can be pretty peaceful as well."

9. Are you a spiritual person? If yes, what do you practice?

"I wouldn't call myself a spiritual person. Days of gods is long gone. If I were to be praying, it'd be out of desperation. S'pose theres other stuff out there though, I just don't pay much attention to it all personally. You do you."

10. Where were you born? Where did you grow up? Where do you live now?

"You don't need to know where I came from, or grew up. Travelled around with Charr a lot when I was a boy. Real mix of a crowd. Preferred some of them other my own parents, hah! But that's all you're gettin' on that front. But now? Home is currently wherever I am."

15. Do you play any instruments? Which ones? How long have you been playing?

"Don't think I got a musical bone in my body. If I have, it's somewhere small. Can't be bothered to find out at this point, other people play good things enough. Don't need me tryin' to make a racket."

20. Describe your biggest pet peeve.

"Not sure this is my biggest, but it's one of the: When people get rude about other's food tastes. C'mon, we can all get along."

25. Freebie! Come up with your own question for the character to answer! Courtesy of my friends on discord- "'Are you free friday night?'

"No, sorry. Working. Why? Something going on?"

"wats up with your gun lol"

"Just a bit dirty lookin' at the moment. Needs a clean, covered in dirt at the moment."

#Hosea Slei #Mozzerela #Dutch Darbinyan #dude putting things in drafts is a curse to me #posts suddenly go POP! no longer existing to Kits brain #then I randomly go into drafts and im like AH FUCK #ANYWAY SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

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blackdchliia · 2 years

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Ok, I`ma kind of scared on this one... I`ve requested it on another blog, but it didn`t seem to approve my ask,so... If you`re ok with this,then can I request Venti x female (preferably) or GN reader, but reader is genshin player from another world? Like Vent boy is casually breaking 4th wall or smth... Being like: "Hey you! Yes you, who controls traveler! Ilove you!" I just got inspired by the picture from Pinterest and It hit me like crazy! Platonic or romantic, it`s your choice <3

AHHH THIS IS MY FIRST TIME EVER WRITING ANYTHING LIKE THIS!! :)

don’t be scared to send in any requests to my blog!! i love all requests i get; unless they break the rules i have on my request post! if you have anymore requests after this, feel free to send them in to my blog, i don’t mind writing anymore you may have! :)

Venti x Fem! Reader<3

warnings: reader is from the real world, venti is from the genshin world!

ever since you had begun playing the infamous game known as Genshin Impact, your life has literally went upside down.

from the starting point of the game, you had been so beyond infatuated and intrigued with the character most commonly known as venti! he was so beyond adorable, especially when he went around teasing the other characters, or even when he was just standing idly in-game and saying some of the many voice lines of his.

it had been a pretty hard day for you; school was piling up on you, midterms were coming up, everything was just so stressful. so, what better way to relax then to play genshin for a few hours?

once you had logged in and venti, the character you would main ever since you had first gotten him had loaded in, you began to set foot on your adventure around the little world of teyvat.

going around, looking for chests, fighting monsters, doing your daily commissions and what not, all of the stress of the real world had slowly began to disappear. you were beginning to grow lost in the game, eyes staring right at your computer screen as you began to do a few domains to gain some better artifacts for your venti.

as you completed one of the domains for the fifth time that night; a bright “10” appeared over venti’s head. gazing at the number as it slowly disappeared, your eyes widened in shock. you had gotten venti’s friendship to level ten!

squealing in excitement, you opened up his profile, claiming his background, you were beginning to exit out of his character profile when you noticed a new audio file.

it certainly hadn’t been in the game before; you should know because you memorized all of his voice line titles-.

the new audio file had been titled: “Y/N<3” and, since your curiosity had begun to grow, you slowly clicked on it and pressed play.

that was when you heard the adorable voice of venti begin to speak:

“hey Y/N! i know you are not apart of my world! i know you control the traveler! i always seen you from behind my screen, and each time i see you, my heart grows more and more. i’ve become entranced with your beautiful smile whenever you get an artifact you really want, and whenever you reach a new adventure rank. i’ve become entranced with all of you, Y/N. i know things are tough right now; i wish we were not in different worlds. i wish i could be there for you, to hold you, to kiss you! and to love you. it must be incredibly obvious with what i am saying but, i’m in love with you, Y/N. perhaps one day, we will be able to be together. until then, i will continue to make you happy through this screen.”

#reader #genshin impact #genshin #gi venti #venti #venti headcanons #venti x reader #venti the bard #genshin impact headcanons #genshin venti #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #venti fluff

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shallitickleyournerdbutton · 3 years

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After the heartache of the Volume 8 finale, I would like to return to a happier point in the show and suggest some memes/jokes that I like to think the students at Beacon would have had. More closely inline with the RWBY Chibi-verse, than the actual show - where Nothing Bad Ever Happened.

"Who's child is this?" being used to refer to Ruby - the youngest student at Beacon - when she's left unsupervised and/or doing something odd.

"I'd let Glynda punish/whip me for one corn chip."

Every now and again "Missing - Have you seen this person?" posters for Professor Peach will pop up around campus. No one knows who it is that keeps making them.

Vomit Boy candids being taken and shared any time Jaune is Suffering™️ on some form of transport.

The Great One plush of Pyrrha exists in-universe... and becomes the go-to prize for any stupid competition between the students. There's at least a dozen of these dolls on campus now, owned by various people and won as "spoils of war."

There's a dedicated chalkboard in the combat room for tallying how many times Nora has launched someone into the stratosphere. Notable mentions are listed on the board alongside her of other people who have achieved this feat - including Yang, Yatsuhashi, and Glynda.

(She launched both Port and Oobleck one day when they kept annoying her. Sometimes, their screams can still be heard if you listen closely enough.)

"There's that old guy again..." "Oh, shopkeep? Yea, he's everywhere. Don't think too much about it."

This leads to "Don't think too much about it." becoming something of a slogan for every time anything unusual happens.

"Candy canes, kids! One for Sun Wukong, one for Yang Xiao-Long, ooh four for Coco Adel, you go Coco!"

"I--"

"Andnoneforweissschneebye~"

Team STRQ having something akin to legend status at Beacon, whispered in hushed voices for fear and reverence of their names. There's a war between the students regarding team JNPR as their successors vs. the students who insist JNPR are not anywhere near worthy of such a title.

"How many team CRDLs does it take to beat Pyrrha?"

Blurry fancam-style videos of the Qrow vs. Winter fight out in the courtyard being traded around like baseball cards with other students. Some try and manufacture a "rematch" of this with the materials they've got - trying to get Ruby and Weiss to fight each other.

That weird sing-song "HellOooOo~" that Yang sometimes does being mimicked by everyone. And I mean everyone.

Any time there's a significant lull in conversations or classes, someone often asks "Why are we here?" which never fails to make everyone in the vicinity groan.

"Ozpin is compensating for something" jokes about his office chair - including at least one popular response being "it's the war crimes", without them knowing just how accurate they actually are.

"On a scale of Ren-Nora, how excited do you want me to be?"

"Ladies Love Lavender" referring to Lisa Lavender having her own in-universe fandom mostly comprised of women. (Lavender being associated with lesbians irl, and I just think this would be funny.)

The sight of Ren just picking up and carrying Nora away from something is so commonplace that other people start doing it to their friends when they Need To Stop.

"Why is Blake's bow so big?" "Because it's full of secrets."

Blake being a closet faunus being such a poorly hidden secret that by the time she finally takes off the bow no one actually even notices.

The betting pool surrounding exactly what it is in Ozpin's cup - coffee being one of the least popular options, and souls being the top choice.

Using Yatsuhasi as a unit of measurement.

Photoshopping adorable images of Velvet onto various "cute" animal memes.

Everyone wanting to be spanked by Coco Adel.

"I'd let Fox blow me up too."

"Why is Weiss' hair so long?" "To reflect the length of her father's crimes."

Everyone mimicking Pyrrha's memetic "I'm sorry!" anytime they apologise for anything. Even going as far to do it while apologising to things that don't require apologies - like inanimate objects.

"Are Port and Oobleck, you know... 💅?"

In fact, just that 💅 being used to refer to a large number of people at Beacon. Actual LGBT students picking this up and using it towards grimm when they're attacked to question the sexuality/homophobia of the grimm targeting them over their peers.

Threatening Neptune with water anytime he flirts with a girl who is clearly Not Interested in him.

No one knowing who, exactly, the other two members of team SSSN are - with wild theories abounding about who they may be. Popular choices include Shopkeep, Zwei, and Professor Peach.

This persists even after their tournament fights where they're shown. Scarlet and Sage are perfectly content with this, and participate.

"Arslan's/Pyrrha's back must be aching from constantly carrying her entire team."

And the respective responses of, "Reese/Nora are alright."

Similar jokes about Glynda also carrying the entire faculty/academy on her back.

"Salutations!"

The war between the "Irondaddy" fanbase, and his haters - who refer to him with various derogatory versions of his name. "Metalpenis", "Coppercock", "Chromeshaft", etc.

Anytime someone is doing something ~questionable~ donning a pair of glasses and/or imitating Oz or Oobleck pushing them back up their nose with accompanying menacing body language. (Kubrick Stare optional.)

Mercury having a foot fetish, courtesy of the people who caught him sniffing shoes at the festival.

"Did <character> just die?" "You know, it was really unclear." any time someone takes some insane damage in a fight and isn't seen for some time afterwards.

Everyone trying to locate and get a pic of the ~mysterious~ fourth member of team CMSN, who has only ever been spotted once - her tournament fight in the first round. Beacon's version of "Where's Wally?"

The Sympathy Fund for Emerald and her one-sided crush on Cinder. "She could honestly do so much better."

People offering themselves up as tribute to spar with Pyrrha/Yang/Coco/Sun just so they can be beaten up by the hottest people on campus.

"I drink milk!" being used as a defensive argument in wildly inappropriate contexts.

Naming grimm really boring names and attempting to keep them as pets.

The innumerous times Port has allowed a "zoo-break" to happen under his watch and everyone having to assist in recovering his prized subjects.

"Where the fuck are all the fourth years?" "Ozpin's soul collection."

Candid shots of Glynda Suffering™️ being shared similarly to the ones of Vomit Boy.

Ranking people based on their Patience Levels - Pyrrha, Ren, Glynda, Emerald, and Fox being frequent top markers based on the bullshit they put up with from their respective teams.

"Saint Pyrrha" being a common nickname for her, and her neverending niceness towards people who absolutely do not not deserve it.

Weiss' "Hey!" being replicated amongst the student body and slowly growing more and more high-pitched in its replication until it eventually just becomes a shrill noise. Even so, everyone still knows what it means - and Weiss is absolutely unamused by all of this.

In fact, a lot of early!Weiss' comments being mercilessly mocked by everyone - "I'm a victim!" being one of them.

Renowned fear permitting amongst the student body regarding Yang's red eyes meaning Serious Business. Morphs into references of "going full Yang" to mean having rage-fuelled temper tantrums.

"Never miss a beat, never miss a beat" becoming a mantra for focusing on a task. This inspires several remixes of Neon saying it, and again with no one knowing who it is making them.

By all means, feel free to add any more that you all think of! I could use a laugh!

Also, check the notes for additions!

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thewhizzyhead · 3 years

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a non-filipino's guide to trese: ep 1

So some of my mutuals decided to check out Trese aka the Netflix adaptation of the Filipino horror comic book series that I keep rambling about here and then since well um most of my mutuals aren’t from the Philippines fshfs I decided to make a long-ass post that basically consists of me rambling about the cultural context present in Trese with fun little tidbits about Filipino folklore. I’m not an expert on Filipino mythology so um I just typed out the stuff that I know and the stuff that I looked up on Wikipedia so um take this with a grain of salt aaaaa I’ll save the extensive google scholar research ramble on folklore present in Trese for another day.

I’ll try to find the sites where I got some of the information from cause um yea I kinda had a bit of a hard time finding the other shit so um once again, take the stuff here with a grain of salt. Also, feel free to add more info if you guys got any!

SO ANYWAYS ENJOY ME RAMBLING ABOUT EPISODE 1 OF TRESE WOO

+ MRT and LRT (Manila Metro Rail Transit and Light Rail Transit) are train systems in NCR (the capital region) and yea them suddenly stopping and malfunctioning in the middle of the goddamn rail is a daily occurrence and we have been trying to deal with this bullshit for years but alas, corruption and negligence are sweet sweet drugs.

+ When the MRT broke down, you'd see a red bee in the flashing billboard right? Well that's Jollibee and that's probably the most well-known fast food restaurant chain here heck there are even branches of it abroad!

+ According to many youtube comments along with other social media posts that I am way too tired to link here, the opening theme is an Ifugao ethnic song called Balluha'd Bayyauhen but with modern accompaniments and I think the song is about a fruit called a balluha that the character in the song tries to it but cannot swallow. (someone please correct me if I’m wrong here fjkfs)

+ The first um monster that we see Alexandra interact with is the White Lady of Balete Drive. White Ladies or “Kaperosa” are a type of female ghosts typically dressed in ghostly white dresses or similar garments. According to legend, she died in a car accident while driving along Balete Drive (a two lane street formerly lined with Balete Trees which are said to be a home for spirits and mysterious creatures) in Quezon City while other accounts say she died waiting for the arrival of her lover; others also say that she was a teenage girl who was run over and killed by a taxi driver at night and then buried around a Balete tree while another variation of the tale claims that a student from the University of the Philippines was sexually assaulted and killed by a taxi driver nearby and so said ghost haunts the street in search of her murderer. There are many other variations but according to local rumor, the legend was fabricated by a reporter in 1953 in order to make an interesting story. What remains consistent in many variations is that apparently taxi drivers would be stopped by a beautiful lady asking for a ride and if one would look at the rear window, they would see that the white lady in question is bruised and drenched in blood.

+ There are a lot of mentions about "lakans" and stuff in reference to Alex and her father right? In precolonial times, the term is used to refer to the paramount ruler or the highest-ranking political authorities in Tagalog communities (so um NCR and some parts of Region 4). In Muslim communities, they are called sultans while communities with strong trade connecitons with Indonesia or Malaysia called them Rajah. Datu is umm the more generalized term though when it comes to discussing the leaders of the precolonial Filipinos.

+ So, Alex’s mom is a babaylan and back in the pre-colonial period, each barangay (which a native filipino term for a village or a district; said term is still used today to describe um divisions in municipalities like) had them and these are basically Philippine shamans and they specialized in communicating with the spirits of the dead. To my knowledge, the role of babaylan went to women and yea people assigned male at birth but then identified as female were also allowed to become babaylans and they would be treated with the same respect given to any woman back then (honestly I dunno much about lgbtq+ stuff back in the precolonial times but all I know is that precolonial Filipinos were much a lot more welcoming towards trans identities bUT THEN THE SPANIARDS CAME AND UM ERR RUINED THAT); also the writing Alexandra's mom did in that one scene with the dagger is in Baybayin - preHispanic Filipino script. I dunno what she wrote down though. .

+ Also I kinda find it funny that the people here esp those who were at the White Lady scene are um,,, not at all surprised? Like yea quite a number of filipinos have their own superstitions and beliefs and all that but um yea the people in Trese seem very used to the bullshit,,,which in retrospect, isn't at all inaccurate fsdfd I MEAN WE DEAL WITH UNSURMOUNTABLE AMOUNTS OF BS ON A DAILY BASIS SO I DON’T THINK DEAD GHOSTS WOULD EVEN FAZE MANY FSKJDS

+ The one that appears right before Alexandra talks with the duwende (the one in the manhole) is called Laman Lupa (which i guess translates to um "What is in the earth"? just um YEA THEY ARE DIRT CREATURES). normally this is an umbrella term for duwendes and nunos but in Trese they are servants of these aforementioned creatures.

+ Duwende (which came from the Spanish phrase "dueno de case" which means "owner of the house") or dwarves in Filipino folklore are known to be mischievous and magical environmental guardians. They are believed to reside in trees or under earth mounds (those that live in the latter are called nuno sa pundo or old man of the mount) which is why quite a lot of Filipinos say "tabi tabi po" or “excuse me” when wandering around a forest or earth mounds as a sign of respect and in the hopes the duwende won't torment them. If the person is friendly, the duwende can also be friendly in return and will bring that person good lucl; otherwise, those who destroy their homes by stepping on them will face their wrath in form of heartless curse and predictions of ominous and disastrous fates. A duwende's color also depends on their budhi or conscience: to my knowledge, white duwendes are kind, red ones give protection amulets, green ones are firnedly with children and the black ones give nothing but trouble.

+ Chocnut aka the snack Alex bribes the nuno with is a very yummy chocolate snack made of coconut milk, crushed peanuts and cocoa powder. They are umm about an inch in length and maybe half an inch in width so it's fairly small; that being said I WANT THE CHOCNUT THAT ALEXANDRA HAS CAUSE HOT DAMN THAT'S A BIG CHOCNUT

+ In Trese, the creatures in the MRT scene and in the warehouse Alexandra visits after she talks with the duwende are called "aswang". In Philippine folklore, it is an umbrella term for any kind of monster so um an aswang in Luzon would be very different from the aswang in Mindanao. According to what I saw on wikipedia, they can be classified in 5 categories: the vampire (self-explanatory um they drink blood), the viscera sucker (the manananggal, i'll get to that next time), the weredog (cats and pigs are also possible but um yea they target pregnant women), the witch (self-explanatory boom curses and stuff) and the ghoul (they gather near trees in cemeteries to feast on human corpses). Aswangs are often described to have a long, hollow tongue, sharp claws and sharp teeth, although they do also have human forms.

+ To my knowledge, Ibwa, the leader of the aswangs in the warehouse, is a creature from Tinguian or Itneg mythology (they, like the Ifugao, are an indigenous ethnic group in northwestern Luzon) though I could be wrong about this dksfsf Ibwa seems like an ethnic filipino term tho wah I can't remember where I once read that. But anyways, Ibwa often stalk sthe house of a dying person to steal its body. In order for the ibwa to NOT succeed in that, some people burn holes in the garments of the dead and put a sharp iron object on top of the grave since those are most powerful weapons against aswangs which is what Alexandra uses to subdue the Ibwa and kill all the other aswangs (the knife alex uses is named Sinag which means "ray of light".)

+ ALSO I AM SO SO GLAD THEY KEPT THE FILIPINO SWEARS IN THE ENGLISH DUB YES YES THIS IS A VERY GOOD JOB so lemme discuss the versatility of tangina-

+ Also umm Bossing is a nickname of Vic Sotto - one of the three pioneer hosts of Eat Bulaga! which is the longest running Philippine noontime variety show. Over time, most probably due to the show's popularity, the term "bossing" then became um slang for "boss" or "chief"

+ Translation of what Alex says when she's stirring the eye inside the cup: “In the eyes of others, secrets will reveal themselves.”

+ Sidenote: The English dub's pronunciation of many of the tagalog lines are um yea they r pretty good but they could use a bit of work but then again I'm really not that good in speaking in Tagalog so who am I to judge gkdkf sorry po guys conyo po ako-

+ Maria Makiling is arguably the most famous of all the diwatas (ancestral spirits, nature spirits, or deities) in Philippine Mythology; she is associated with Mount Makiling in Laguna as the guardian spirit of the mountain. Mount Makiling is said to resemble a profile of a woman and people associate the profile with Maria herself. She is also known as a goddess by the name of Dayang Masalanta and people would pray to her for safety and to stop storms and earthquakes. That's the goddess Alexandra's mother mentions right when she tells Alex to hide. (Translation to what she said there: Maria Makiling, goddess of the mountain, bless us.)

+ ALSO YEA THAT MAYOR IN THE MRT STATION IS UMMM RATHER REMINISCENT OF MAAAANY POLITICIANS AND PUBLIC SERVANTS HERE LIKE BELIEVE ME I CAN THINK OF SO MANY NAMES RN. THEY WOULD FLAUNT THEIR MACHISMO AND PROMISE THAT THEY THEMSELVES SHALL PUNISH THE PERPETRATORS HARSHLY BUT IN THE END THEY DONT MEAN SHIT AND ARE IN OFFICE TO SERVE ONLY THEMSELVES AND TO SHIT ON THE REST ESP THOSE OF THE POORER SECTORS AND *NOTHING IS DONE ABOUT IT*. WE LIVE IN HELL OKAY. also hmm how the police are represented here is umm,,,interesting,,, like i know there are sOME good police officers like the ones alexandra assists but like,,,our current sociopolitical climate + the many cases showcasing the corruption in the police force + tHE SHEER AMOUNT OF POLICE BRUTALITY HERE would ummm beg to differ. but um anyways-

+ Also Mang Inasal posters can be seen in the MRT station backdrops and um it’s a very famous restaurant chain here and they serve lots of barbecue and other filipino stuffs and i miss them a lot God their halo halo is very yummy

+ Santelmo - oki so this is the fire face thingy that Alexandra summons inside the ruined train. This is the shortened version of the term "Apoy ni Santa Elmo" or "St. Elmo's Fire" - this is a weather phenomenon wherein plasma is created from an electrical discharge from a rod like object in an atmospheric electric field. This phenomenon was used to warn of imminent lightning strikes or storms (there is a chapter in Noli Me Tangere where Pilosopo Tasyo talks about that bUT I'LL SAVE THE NOLI ME TANGERE RAMBLES FOR ANOTHER DAY). But according to Philippine folklore, santelmos - which are said to be souls of people lost as sea - are balls of fire that appear where accidents or big arguments happen. In Trese, santelmos (alex's santelmo being "The Great Spirit of the Binondo Fire") can be called to assist in supernatural investigations

+ Translation of what Alex says when she draws the circles to meet with the purple ghosts: "Souls, where are you off to? I'll be entering too, so please open the door."

+ Remember the scene at the train with all the purple ghosts and the woman in a veil? Yea the woman is an emissary of a goddess named Ibu and she is the Manobo (again, another indigenous ethnic group but this time they're from Mindanao; fun fact we have around 134 ethnic groups) goddess of deceased mortals and the queen of the underworld; she also serves as a psychopomp and guides the newly deceased souls to the other side (having an MRT be the ride to the underworld isn’t in the legends tho so fkkjsf)

+ The aswang in the top hat is called Xa Mul and according to the Isneg/Apayao people (yay another ethnic group but this time in northern Luzon - the Cordillera regions to be specific), they are an evil spirit known to swallow people whole.

+ Alex has two henchmen right? Yea they are named Crispin and Basillio and No I still don’t know who’s who and I'm really sorry about that fsfjs so anyways the names Crispin and Basillio are actually those of two brothers featured in the Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo novels (Crispin is younger and Basilio is older) which are basically the national novels here cause um yea written by national hero Jose Rizal as sociopolitical commentary about the Spanish regime here. I don't know if I want to spoil this cause I kinda want other people to read the novel too fskfs BUT ALL IN ALL, ONE OF THEM DIES IN LIKE THE 10TH OR 11TH CHAPTER OF NOLI ME TANGERE (and the novel has 64 chapters btw) AND UM YEA-

+ OKI SO TO ADD MORE CONTEXT TO THE SQUATTER STUFFS MENTIONED IN TRESE (we r gonna use the tiny font here because holy shit this rant is long): So,in the Philippines, especially in the capital region, there are lots of slum areas called squatters. These are dense urban settlements made of compact makeshift housing units that aren't really officially recognized by the government. This is um very reflective of the poverty situation here and there are maaany factors that come into play here and if i were to go into depth about this topic, that rant would probably turn into an academic paper so for the sake of brevity, let's just say that Things Are Fucked Up Here. Oftentimes the poorer sectors are being ignored and left to their own devices despite tons of campaign promises to make things better and easier for them. The communities that live here are incredibly vulnerable to floods, fires, and the like and afaik no concrete solutions have been in effect to protect these people and their settlements. There have also been many times where squatter areas are dismantled or demolished despite protests of people living in those areas and yea I understand the need to make space and the need for renovation but the people should still be offered some sort of temporary settlement or financial compensation thingy that doESN'T fuck them over but alas, we have an anti-poor government. That being said, I really like Trese Ep 1's portrayal of governmental negligence, but I also have some thoughts, especially in regards to the mayor being arrested THAT FAST which um believe me, NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS BECAUSE MANY MAYORS AND A LOT OF POLITICIANS HAVE THE POLICE IN THEIR POCKETS SO UM ERR YEA JUSTICE IS RARELY A THING HERE BUT UM ANYWAYS YEA THE GOVERNMENT LIKES TO SHIT ON THE POOR WOO LET'S SAVE THE USE OF SOCIOLOGICAL LENS ON THIS MATTER FOR ANOTHER DAY

+ The news channel reporting the arrest of the mayor is ABC-ZNN WHICH IS AN OBVIOUS REFERENCE TO ABSCBN aka the top media conglomerate here (that has been fucked over by the government so many times to the point that they had to shut down operations last year which is all sorts of unfair so seeing them being referenced here kinda made me happy gksfks)

#HI PATROC I HAVE A GIFT #IT'S A VERY LONG AND CONVOLUTED GIFT #BUT IT'S A GIFT #I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK IN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THIS #this is literally 2813 words long AND IT TOOK ME 12 HOURS TO TYPE THIS OUT OH GOD #AND THIS IS JUST EP 1 #here's to hoping the following eps are gonna be much easier for me to like ramble about considering that i explained quite a lot here gfsfs #please do take this ramble with a grain of salt tho cause obviously I am not a mythology expert so um feel free to add more info!#i'd really love to see more info about trese so yay!#trese #trese netflix #alexandra trese #trese spoilers #ask to tag

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spidernana · 3 years

Text

Day 5: Private

(Disclaimer: This is my own version of Night and Dream, their origin and multiverse in general. It is by no means a replacement for the original, which belongs to Joku, just an excuse for more Frans ^^b

So don't like? Don't read~)

Nightmare closed his visible socket, pinching his nasal ridge between two blackened phalanges and sighing in agitation. Below, at the foot of his grand and imposing throne (Dust loved to snicker at this summary, quite often adding 'ostentatious' and 'dramatic' to the list), Killer and Horror dithered about as they tended to do, the smaller doing some asinine trick with three of his knives and the larger staring into blank space, two massive fingers slotted into his slack eye socket, awaiting whatever verdict he chose to give in response to their mission summary.

If it could even be so generously called that.

The god of night and negativity sneered at the very thought, his free hand scraping corruption riddled fingertips across the molded steel and cracked stone of his throne's armrest. His tentacles, writhing at his back in echoed upset, were just as enraged as he was in lieu of his underlings' apparent and utter shortcomings, practically begging to choke the life from one of these idiots to satiate their master's bloodlust. An example to the others, of what constant failure would earn them... nothing that couldn't be replaced.

Perhaps he'd been too kind, of late... perhaps they had forgotten who he was, how many worlds he had brought to darkness and how many souls he had driven to a madness even they could only conceive of in their wildest imaginings.

Perhaps it was time to remind them.

It was a tempting thought, but a quickly dismissed one, despite the anger roiling just below the surface of his calming facade. For one thing, against all odds, he had grown rather fond of his strange little following, his motley crew of ne'er-do-wells and miscreants. They had taken to the work with a will, despite the... unpleasantness of their conscriptions (the only one of their number he hadn't had to coerce had been Killer, but he would have done anything to get out of his hellhole of an Underground, after what fate had befallen him), and over the years that they had been combing through the universes and slowly but surely stealing back the light that had been stolen from him, he truly had come to think of them as family.

For another thing... he still needed them. They could be replaced, of course... none of them were unique, each had a hundred timelines just like theirs, with only the subtlest of differences. It was such a bother, though, the trudge of breaking their wills and turning their minds. It was an unfortunate facet of contracting the more twisted souls to his designs... he couldn't simply lie to them like his sainted brother did, and have his sycophants accept his word as truth. No, his clan of cutthroats and cannibals were more suspicious than that, knew better than to blindly trust.

Axe's conversion was more than proof of that.

A snarl threatened to overtake his charcoal tinted bones once again, trembling in the shadows covering his face, but he restrained it resolutely. He'd promised himself that he wouldn't get riled over Axe again. The hardest part was done now... so long as he kept a close watch on him, there would be no further difficulties, and he would meld into their ranks flawlessly soon enough, yet another of his ever so loyal yet insufferably incompetent followers.

His socket snapped open, his electric blue eyelight glaring down at the slightly nervous looking faces of his contracted killers. Just looking at them had him seething all over again...

“what is it that is so hard about following my instructions? i feel that i have been perfectly clear, and yet here you are. failing in the one thing i have asked you to ensure. again,” he hissed quietly, his rage gone from his cold and flat tone but more than apparent in the twisting and coiling of his writhing tentacles, in the gathering shadows around the foot of his throne, in the darkening of the ever present, perpetually eclipsed, blood red moon bearing down on them all through the large, dusty, stained glass windows at his back. Their own shadows wavered against the floor, small and ragged in the light of the guttering, half burned down candles set about the room, and seemed almost to shrink away from the encroaching darkness he exuded, fearful of being lost to it.

As well they should be.

“i mean... we didn't fail exactly, boss. the timeline is falling into chaos, like you wanted. you can practically taste the despair on the air there, they-” Killer began to excuse, tensely fiddling the blade of one of his knives between his fingers, but Nightmare cut him off with a snort and a waved hand, the magic in his only visible socket flicking and sparking in his unspoken fury.

“the fall of their universe was inevitable, and secondhand to the quarry you sought. you were to bring me their frisk, alive, and not only did you fail in that... you killed her yourselves, wasting power more precious than any one of your lives. explain to me how you managed that on accident,” he invited with barely contained vitriol dripping from his every word, the loss of yet another priceless soul cutting at the twisted and corrupted core at the center of his being with blades sharper than any of his underlings possessed, and Killer stopped short in his excuses, a rare and tense frown overcoming his usual maniacal grin.

Even rarer was the bead of dusky blue sweat that ran down his cranium to stain his jacket's hood, joining the clotted magic that dripped perpetually from his mouth and sockets. The hulking skeleton at his side was much more taciturn, his grotesque smile frozen to his face and his broad shoulders constantly tightened with suspicious tension, but the enormous, horrendous iris that lit his good socket was constricted, the edges unfocused and, occasionally, rippling into jagged spikes.

They reeked of fear, and the stench of it got him high in an instant, taking the edge from his anger and, at the same moment, warning him that something was amiss. Either his intimidations were working better than usual (these idiots never knew well enough to fear him, not until it became necessary to amend that notion, and they forgot again far too quickly), or something he didn't know about was going on.

Or perhaps he was being too suspicious. He knew Axe was planning something, some sort of insurrection that would end only in failure and humiliation for the rabid, half insane monster, but to suspect it of his more trusted accomplices strained credulity. He wouldn't put it past the fortune teller, the duplicitous wretch was always up to his tricks, and Error had always had his own agenda, but Killer, Horror, or Dust? Unlikely.

He'd dismiss the thought for now... but he'd remain cautious. It had kept him alive thus far, and prevented betrayals like his brother's from happening again and costing him more than he could bear to lose. He was still attempting to mend that wrong, even after all these years... that was the entire point of his and his companions' ventures into other worlds.

One that they had now failed him in four consecutive times.

“...we tried to keep her away from the fight, but she wouldn't stay put... elbowed dust in the socket and jumped in front of the king, took a hit that would floor a boss monster. impressive as hell, but she didn't survive it. we tried, nightmare... but you know how brave frisks can be,” Horror muttered haltingly, jerking habitually at his socket so hard that the bone started to audibly protest, and Nightmare turned his face away with a grimace, the pain of the loss now accompanied by an all too knowing understanding, both bitter and sweet at once.

They all knew how stalwart a Frisk's soul was... she was a force to be reckoned with in every universe, even ones where she lingered only as an apparition. It was part of what made her so special, that sheer determination, her ceaseless love, the kindness that exuded from her to infect and turn all those around her to betterment.

Nightmare flinched visibly, his shadowed face creasing with a deep and telling agony. One hand rose to clench at the front of his irreparably stained shirt, his ribs aching in an all too familiar way. He should really be used to the sting, by now... the punishing, never ending pain of his own broken heart, concealed at best but never gone, had been following him for the hundreds of years since the loss of his light, his love... the only star in his sky. It returned to him every time he thought of her, saw her face reflected in those that had come after... even in her mortal forms, pale imitations of her former glory, it struck him to his very core, to the marrow of his diseased bones.

He missed her more than he had ever missed anything, even a form less twisted than the one he possessed now.

Accident or not, though, despite the character of his beloved that both irked and awed him and his underlings' inability to keep a being such as her contained, they had still failed him, and with the full knowledge of what it was costing him, the power he needed to restore his star to life slipping through his fingers all over again. The disappointment, impatience, and anger burned in him with a fierce and consuming passion, an old hatred for what, and whom, had taken her from him in the first place clawing at the inside of his malformed skull and sinking its claws into his heart of hearts, the core wood of the magnificent world tree he had been birthed from.

That fury materialized itself into twisted shadows and screaming, corruption rife shades, writhing manifestations of souls he had consumed, broken open in his own hands, devoured and destroyed without care for their extinguished life in the face of his quest. Their cries were those of agony and loss, screeches that grated against the very mind, and both Horror and Killer shrank back in horrified caution as they emerged from the darkness filling the throne room and shambled towards them, drawn to the power of their shadowy souls.

Nightmare gazed down on them all without pity, his single eyelight burning like both a beacon in the darkness and a warning of dire consequence. He was done with their incompetence, with the casual indifference they treated his mission with. It was the most important thing to him in the multiverse, far more important to him than their pathetic existences, and his chilling snarl bore witness to this, the tortured forms of his many victims howling wordless warnings of what further failure would cost.

“be that as it may, you have robbed me of more than i am willing to lose for the last time. i have only so much patience, and you have reached its threshold. you know exactly what you are taking from me, the rarity of her priceless soul, and should you fail me again, lose even one more soul, you will pay that price with your own. your former adjustments at my hand will be dreams in comparison to the fullness of my fury... you will know the suffering i have known, drawn out to the very last measure of excruciating pain, and you will beg for death before your inevitable end.”

The scent of their fear was like the ambrosia of the gods, fierce and bloodthirsty monsters brought to their knees as his power, the full force of his negativity and the darkness of the space between the stars, bore down on their sin riddled souls. They felt the many agonies of their victims, the terror and horror they had wrought with their own hands, and crumbled at the foot of his throne beneath the duress, helpless to his hold on them.

He allowed the karmic torture to continue for a few moments, a mere taste of what they would suffer in the event of another failure, before he lifted the tremendous weight of their own wrongs from their backs and returned their souls to the LV hardened carapaces they were, the whirling mist of shadows and the dreadful mire of pained wraiths retreating back into the Void and the light of the eclipsed moon filling the room once again. It bared to him the sight of his servants curled in on themselves on the floor, wracked with bone shattering sobs, and his smile at the sight was reflexive, a smirk of assured victory.

They would not fail him again. Of this, he was certain.

“am i understood?” he questioned leisurely, swirling one finger around the end of a calmer, aimlessly drifting tentacle, and through their helpless cries of sorrow and pain, they murmured their broken assent, staining the intricate red carpet that lined the center of the throne room with their tears.

“yes, master...”

“it won't *hic* happen again...”

A twinge of guilt assaulted him, the fondness he had come to feel for them making him weak for a moment, but it was gone with a shake of his head and a single whiff of the agony choked air, their rare and consuming misery a heady drug that made him lightheaded and nearly giddy. He rose from his throne, the intricate and twisted mass rising from the black granite floor to scrape at the ceiling of the vast room, and descended the steps to walk past them without a backwards glance.

“very good. once you've picked yourselves back up, you should rest... oh, and retrieve dust from wherever he had gotten off to. i have a similar conversation to have with him,” he instructed dismissively, waving a careless hand over his shoulder, before, with a crackle of electric blue lightning and the horrendous sound of the Void itself ripping apart, he disappeared into a wisp of black smoke, nearly indistinguishable against the darkness of the rest of the room.

He had business elsewhere... and company far more pleasant than theirs to attend to.

--------

In their places crumbled on the ground, attempting to overcome the punishment Nightmare had laid on them, both Horror and Killer groaned and panted for breath, each trying to quiet the seemingly never-ending tears pouring down their faces. It was something they had both suffered before, reminders from their dark master of their place in the pecking order, but experience made the feeling no easier to bear, and it was with great difficulty that they slowly managed to calm their wounded cries, clutching sore bones and aching skulls with shaking hands.

Horror recovered first, hefting his bulk from the ground with a grunt and trembling arms; he had far less guilt in his soul than Killer, who was still twitching and weeping where he lay, but even with both their sins combined, they didn't hold a candle to Dust. His meeting with Nightmare was bound to be extremely unpleasant.

Grimacing and shaking his throbbing, cracked skull, Horror extended a hand to help Killer to his feet, thereafter tilting his skull to roll his grotesque red eyelight around the grand throne room cautiously.

“...bout as bad as i thought that would go. but he bought it,” he murmured, adjusting the seating of his jacket on his massive shoulders, and Killer let out a sarcastic chuckle, hands on his knees and wiping at his perpetually stained face with his shoulders to attempt to clear his shameful tears away.

“'s a good thing this one was the last one we needed. wish dust could have picked one from a world we hadn't been assigned to... selfish bastard,” he gritted out, coughing haggardly and squeezing his sockets shut in his lingering pain, but Horror could do no more than shrug, sliding his hands into his shorts' pockets.

“...you know we don't have much of a choice in that. we're drawn to them despite ourselves... despite just about everything,” he chuckled morosely, humorless and lost in his own thoughts (likely considering his own Frisk), and Killer, finally straightening up with groan and several cracks from his spine, snorted and smirked blithely.

“he'll be paying for it soon enough. we should go warn him though... he should have her hidden by now,” he suggested, jerking his skull in the vague direction of the door, and though it took him a moment, gathering his thoughts and slowly pulling himself from his own considerations, Horror nodded, the huge, red iris in his working socket turning to send a considering look at the throne they stood at the foot of.

“...he'd better've. nightmare isn't one to wait, and the last thing we need is him finding out what we're doing,” he grunted, and with a snap, less overwhelming but still potent magic crackling in the still, dark air, both skeletal monsters turned on their heels and disappeared, stepping through the Void to find their compatriot and warn him of what was to come.

-----------

Deep within the bowels of the castle the pair had just hurriedly left, in halls that were impossible for anyone but the master of the dark palace to access, Nightmare materialized again, stepping from the dark shadow that a pillar cast. His expression was calmer, than when he left his idiotic underlings... it was almost soft, even, as soft as a being so suffused with darkness could be, and an air of excitement lingered around him, his tentacles seemingly incapable of resisting leading him to his anticipated destination. They extended to pull him hurriedly along the hall, opening doors and guiding his steps, but he didn't seem to mind.

The quicker he returned to her side, the better.

Two more doors, through the intimate privacy of his own chambers, and across the short distance it took to draw to his neatly made bedside later, and finally his tentacles seemed to calm, settling into almost awed consideration as the lord of the deepest night and the darkest hearts gazed down, with crooked smile and desperate adoration, on the sight that awaited him there.

A corrupted hand, gentle and loving, reached out to trace the shape of a delicate cheekbone, full lips drawn into an almost permanent pout, the delicate fall of hair he could still remember running his phalanges through. His gaze traced closed eyelids, a graceful neck he longed to press his mouth to again, the still and fractured form of the woman he loved most, across all the wide multiverse.

His morning and evening star, his one and only... the first and truest Frisk, composed of starlight and kindness and the blessings of the heavens, slumbering and awaiting the completion of his devoted quest.

His touch was a truly meaningless one, to anyone but himself... she was ethereal, in her incomplete form, the pattern stitched into his bed's cover visible through her translucent body, her presence nothing more than a shade of her true self, but the mere gathering power that would restore her to how she should be was a boon to his broken heart, a weight that he had carried ever since she had disappeared so long ago lifted for a bare but necessary moment.

A flicker of absolute hatred crossed Nightmare's face, the reason she had fractured herself in the first place suffusing his mind and reawakening his loathing for the one that had caused it. What he and Frisk had been together, before his fall and her fracturing, had been perfect... why the stars had decided she should belong to both he and Dream, a bride to both the day and the night, he could not fathom. Sharing her had been difficult, but he had done it anyway... she had loved his brother just as much as she had loved him, and he wouldn't take that from her for anything.

Dream had not been of the same inclination. Jealous, pious, and selfish, he had demanded more than his fair share of her time, guilting her into believing he was hurt to be deprived of her. Already self-righteous in his superiority, the love of the people for his positivity and the golden rain of his sun, he had moved to make her his and his alone, and with this, Nightmare had put his foot down, tearing the heart from the tree of their birth and consuming its fruits to gain its power.

His form had been ruined by his deed, corrupted and darkened forever, but he had finally been stronger than Dream, and had brought to him the fight that he had so clearly desired, tearing apart his kingdom of light and wresting his control of their perfect mate from him by force.

Nightmare could suffer being looked down on for his role, cast in a lesser light in the eyes of mortal beings...

But to have his bride stolen from him, he would not abide.

Frisk had not been able to stand their war. She had hated to see the beings she loved so divided over her, her precious and stardust infused heart breaking in her chest, and in her wisdom, so far above him and Dream and all others, she had cast herself down, to bless souls so much like her own with her kindness and her love, to experience bonds and marriages without the pain Dream had caused her.

That very stardust, the pieces of his beloved in their souls, was what drew every Sans coded monster to their own Frisks. What drove their obsession with the heavens, and what brought about the depth of their affections.

It was not theirs to have. They lived on borrowed time, loving what was not theirs to love, and with the last words she had spoken to them before she had shattered like glass eternally in his mind (“When you learn to love as selflessly as I, I will return to you...”), he had, at last, formulated his plan. He loved her more than anything, more than any other being had surely loved another... that had to be what she meant. So he would take back the stardust of her heart, ripping it from the souls of those so undeserving of her light, and piece her back together.

It was taking far too long. The miserable wretches that were her mates in other worlds defended her so viciously that it would have been admirable, had they not stood in his way. It was a gift, to have the help of ones who did not mind striking them down, who had cold and distant souls, incapable of wanting their own bonds any longer... wresting their Frisks from them, those that still survived, at least, was a simple thing.

He could be patient a little longer, though... so long as he didn't lose any more. In one of their many despised meetings, Dream had divulged that he was doing much the same as he, gathering the pieces of their love to rebuild her heart, and Nightmare would not abide him besting him.

Petty? Perhaps... but he had done worse than desire to have his beloved returned to him.

Nightmare's gentle smile returned to him, and his gaze to the present, as he looked down on the still ethereal form of his star, seating himself at her side and tracing his fingertips over the back of a disjointed hand, wishing that he could feel her again with a desperate longing. His tentacles roved her form much the same way, drifting through the mist-like shape of her, and in her slumber, she stirred slightly, a blessed and rare smile lifting her lips.

“Night...” she whispered, her beautiful voice calling to him from across both time and space, and he could have wept at the sound, his ribs aching, for once, not with pain, but with absolute and consuming love, an obsessive thing that had changed him more than even his greatest sin.

“soon, beloved. we'll be together again soon,” he whispered back, pretending to run the back of two phalanges down her cheek, and in his longing imagination, she nuzzled against his touch, her long, thick lashes fluttering against her star flecked cheeks.

#frans #franstober #day 5 #private #nightmare!sans #star!frisk #my own metaverse #loreeeee #karmic torture #threats #intimidation #obsession #killer!sans #horror!sans

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nikatyler · 2 years

Note

basic character development questions for Ross

I'm just gonna put a little warning here, I did try to stop myself from rambling too much but as always...that did not work out and I talked too much 😅 So I'm sorry about that.

full name: Ross Vatore (he doesn’t use his middle name anywhere anymore, you wouldn’t find it in any of his documents…and he took Caleb’s surname because of course he did 😅)

age: Ooof math is hard…well, I just did some quick calculations and if my math is correct, and it’s likely that it’s not but the number sounds like it could be right, he could be 131 at this point in the story.

birthday: March 29

pronouns: He/him

gender: Cis male

sexuality: Bisexual

height: 185 cm

hair color: It’s “Foxy Teaberry” from WMS’s Sandwich Unnaturals haha

eye color: Red

body type: Maybe this just shows my lack of vocabulary but tbh in my head I always just described it as slim but on the bigger side…and when I write it, it looks just as stupid as it sounds in my head lol 😂 I'm sorry. Well, he’s got some muscles, but he’s not super super muscular. He’s got strong arms. I’m gonna point that out. He’s got strong big arms and he gives great hugs. That’s unrelated but it’s important to mention.

race/ ethnicity: White

nationality: I’ve never really thought about that, but something about him feels American haha. And as I said some time ago, he has Italian and Irish ancestors on his father’s side. Not sure about his mother’s side.

personal style: He likes to look somewhat expensive. And also, sometimes, there’s a little bit of a villain vibe even though he’s not a villain at all.

introvert or extrovert: More of an extrovert for sure

passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive: Passive-aggressive and even agressive sometimes

creative and/ or athletic: More on the athletic side

do they drink and/ or do drugs? If I were to rank my OCs based on how much they drink, he would be up there with the ones who drink the most 😅 But no worries, he can handle it, he knows what he's doing. Other than that he never tried any drugs.

what do they do to relax? He likes playing videogames in his free time and he still likes to read a lot of horror stories, he also likes the fantasy genre, especially the books that feature vampires (he’s more of a nerd than he would ever admit haha - and I’m not saying that to make fun of him because same). Also cuddling. If he wants cuddles he’s gonna get them.

are they a virgin? Nope

what kind of music do they listen to? 00s emo, a lot of the “edgier” music of that time, and on another hand he also enjoys a lot of classical music (especially the epic dramatic kind) and that leads me to believe that he would also very much enjoy symphonic metal.

Thanks for the ask! ♥

#i talk too much i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry #i got excited #ts4 #sims 4 #breeze nsb legacy extra #oc: ross

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rev-plays-nikki · 3 years

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Alright here we go 🙃

I am extremely disappointed with the announcement of Heaven’s Favor, or Blessed Land, as it’s been officially named on this Nikki server, as our anniversary hell event. As many others have said, this hell event is beautiful, and I love the suits (although it is disappointing that none have dark skin tones and devs of our Nikki game and devs of the the Chinese server have not thought to add them after the fact), but for an anniversary of the game which many including myself feel is supposed to be the biggest celebration of the year, I was expecting a much larger and more expensive event, such as True Road or Four Gods.

I would have been thrilled with either of those events in truth, though as someone who loves Four Gods and has been wanting it for the last 3 and a half years, I was desperately hoping you would finally bring it to us. I was prepared to spend at least $300 and most likely more on diamonds, lucky bags, and other things, simply to show my support for the devs finally giving players what we have been asking for. The grandeur and expense of this event is puny compared with the other two options we could have been given. People complain sometimes when we get expensive events, yes, but usually that is a result of too many expensive events in a row. That issue does not exist this time, and the player base as a whole does want an occasional very expensive event, especially for an occasion as exciting and celebratory as the game’s anniversary. There will of course always be a few who complain no matter what, but in this case, players including myself are frustrated, angry, and tired of how we are treated by our server’s devs. This event announcement is yet another in a long line of things that have made it clear the only thing or server cares about is money grabbing.

Though this announcement has made me finally decide to stop spending on Love Nikki, it has not been the only thing I’ve been unhappy about. It has simply been ‘the straw that broke the camel’s back’ as they say. Our server’s devs have also made it clear they don’t care if we get the story in a way that makes sense either. We get the actual story chapters in order, and for the most part in a timely manner, yes, but there is a lot of the story and lore tidbits in other things like events (hell event as well as regular ones) and Dreamweaver stories. We do not get these in chronological order, which makes it confusing for everyone. I have to assume that our devs think we don’t care about the story, which I do think is largely true based on how many people tap through the story stages, but many of us still DO care about the story, so ignoring it and giving no thought to the order in which we receive story based events and Dreamweavers (both long-term “free” ones and ones that cost diamonds) is, frankly, a huge middle finger to that part of the player base.

The recharge lineup for this event is also extremely disappointing to say the least. And this can’t possibly be a surprise after the reaction from players when frost rose was brought back a while ago. We do NOT expect, and certainly do not WANT, return recharges for a hell event. Especially not for the hell event that is supposed to be our big anniversary celebration. Many were prepared to spend big for our anniversary, and now we will be spending nothing. This is yet another in a long history is giving us subpar recharge lineups that are either too expensive for a comparatively mediocre suit or contain too many expensive returning recharges for the same amount of money (or in a couple of instances, more, if someone had purchased parts of the suit in its original run and had to purchase the same again to complete it.) Personally I have purchased every recharge that became available since shortly after I started playing and have well surpassed V15 levels of spending, but I will be skipping these.

It is also shocking, as I noticed recently, that if a player does not claim their daily diamonds one day, the next day the number of daily diamonds left decreases regardless. This means if a player pays for a monthly recharge card, but cannot log in for one or more than one day for that amount of time, they simply lose some of the diamonds they paid for. While it is a “monthly” card, it promises a certain number of diamonds. It would deliver that number no matter what. Other games have systems in place to account for this. For instance, Time Princess, another dress up game, simply allows the player to collect their diamonds for whatever number of days they have not logged in. It works great and everyone stays happy and gets what they paid for. Maybe a similar system is not in place in Love Nikki and that’s fine. There are other ways to make sure people get what they paid for. The diamonds someone didn’t claim could be mailed to them for example, or daily diamonds could be made a permanent event like the daily login reward, and players could claim diamonds once a day as they choose. Another annoyance to players is that the permanent diamond pavilions still do not have a “confirm” pop up asking if players are sure they want to spend up to 1500 diamonds. This seems like such an easy fix and something players have wanted and asked for for some time.

Recharge suits should also come back for crafting. It seems as things have been going for the last four years that none come back for a long time, players complain about it and threaten to boycott, and a short time after, one relatively inexpensive suit will return in an attempt to satisfy players. Players then think this means recharge suits will return regularly, and are appeased for some time until the whole process repeats itself. This is very frustrating and tiresome. Every paid suit should ideally return for crafting, but my guess is that none of the highly expensive ones ever will. That is very sad to me, as I truly believe that every suit should eventually be made available to every player. I believe the same for the ranked suits, all of which I have, as well. It would be great if they came back but I understand for them why they will not far more than for recharge suits. As a paying player, the way I see it when I buy any suit is that I am paying to get it early, not that I am paying to get it at all. And I am more than happy to pay for that, and thrilled to know that every player will have the chance to get it eventually. I’m sure there are other paying players who don’t share my views, so I understand why devs are hesitant to bring back super expensive suits, but I do think they should return. Not only because on other servers recharge suits return for crafting far more frequently than on ours, but also because as time goes on the suits end up looking older and older and as such their value to players should decrease. The price of suits should go down when they return, not stay the same, and eventually every suit should be obtainable for any player.

Now, back to this hell event again, and more specifically Four Gods, because I’m selfish and I want it. Four Gods has been around for years. Those of us who have known about it from its original run on the original Chinese server have been expecting it to come to us ever since. Lore-wise, as I understand it, it was sort of an introduction to the main four Cloud families and their heads who feature prominently in some event and Dreamweaver stories, though not so much the main story yet. The event was sort of a prequel to Four Wars, and on the Chinese server Four Gods came first. I remember when we got the announcement for Four Wars for our server, and my utter shock. No one had expected or really been asking much for this hell and there were so many other, older events that would have made more sense to us at the time. This I think was the first truly egregious breach of lore order, at least that I can recall and that was so important to the story. When we got Four Wars most players had no idea who these characters were, so how were they supposed to care about them or the story? I think a large part of why many players don’t care about the story can be attributed to the devs not caring about it for us. If we were given events and story parts in chronological order so that it made sense, it would be much easier to follow and perhaps players wouldn’t give up on it so easily.

Since then however, years have passed and we still have not received Four Gods, or even been given the courtesy of being told why we haven’t gotten it. It hasn’t even been mentioned to us by our devs. Now there are rumors floating around the Love Nikki community about it that I think do no one any favors. There is the (I suspect true) rumor that the devs have for a long time intended to never give us this event. There is a rumor that there is some issue with converting the files from an older event to our newer server. There is a rumor that the reason we have not gotten Four Gods is that the devs do not want to give players the opportunity to get the 3000 free diamonds that originally came with the event. There are these and many other rumors, all of which highlight I think the most important issue with regards to our server, and that is communication.

Our server’s devs have always been, quite frankly, horrible at communicating with their player base. We get event announcements and teasers and all and that’s fine, those things are fun and exciting, but when it comes to larger issues in the game, like as an example darker skin tones and makeups that match them, and what the team is doing about it, we receive little to nothing. With this specific issue, and it’s not the only one, it seems players complain and complain and threaten to boycott as I’ve mentioned earlier, and the team eventually gives us the promise that they are working on it. These promises usually come far later than they should. And communication should be more than just promises once the team has finally decided to promise it. Communication should include the in-between phases. For instance, using this example, respond to players more quickly and tell us what the team is considering. We don’t always need promises, especially when the team can’t deliver what is wanted in a timely manner. We want to know what is going on. If the team is discussing something before deciding, let us know! It’s ok if nothing has been decided yet. We want to know what is going on, and if we know, we can give feedback and help the team in its discussions.

The game Time Princess again does this well. They offer frequent surveys that players can access the link to in-game, and they have almost weekly live chats in their Discord server where they answer questions, give hints and teasers about future events, give out extra redeem codes, and have players play fun trivia games with them regarding the game’s stories. If Love Nikki’s devs did something similar, it would greatly increase fan engagement with the game and the story, and show that our devs do care about us and what we want. After being more transparent with the community, and letting us know what’s going on, better decisions can be made, and better plans can be formed, instead of the team telling us nothing and letting us wonder and spread usually baseless rumors until we are given a promise. Even the promises are not always adequate either. With the dark skin tone makeups again, we were promised the team was working on it. And yes, we have received more dark skin makeups since, and that’s great, but it seems like we haven’t received that many recently, and when they come they are usually recipes that cost diamonds, and we only get a few makeups matching a few skin tones rather than one makeup for each.

My concern is that something similar will happen this time as well, and the team may well decide to continue not bringing us Four Gods without telling us a word about it or about why they have made such a decision. Supposedly now the team is talking about possibly bringing us Four Gods, but how do I know that? From the devs being open about their process and transparent with players about their plans and thinking? No, of course not. I know this because someone “close to Nikki'' told this to a well known player whom the rest of us know and trust as largely the only player who really knows what’s going on with the devs. And I doubt she even really does, but based on how little communication we get from the devs, it seems that way to the rest of us. And I of course do not mean this in any way to bash or throw negativity at Iri, I love her and she’s a wonderful person and member of our community! But it is a problem with our devs when someone telling one player something is the only way we can get some shred of an answer to our questions and desires.

Now, because I don’t want to be all negative and I don’t want to complain without offering solutions, here is a bullet point form list of things that could be changed in the game to greatly improve it and the players’ relationship with our devs. :)

- First and most importantly: communicate with players! Tell us what is going on with the team. Ask for feedback more often about more things than which door styles we prefer. Involve us in discussions! Transparency is paramount for any brand these days.

- Give us better “free” things. The Chinese server famously gets more free things like login rewards after server maintenance, etc.

- Add another recharge tier. The Chinese server has one more recharge tier than us ifI recall correctly, as well as their highest tier being more diamonds for less money. if that’s not possible for whatever reason, let us know and let us know why! And then make things less expensive. If that’s also impossible, give us better rewards. If that’s also impossible, at least let us know.

- Let people claim their daily dias even if they miss a day. Suggestions for this are already above in what I wrote.

- Add an “are you sure you want to do this?” button to all diamond pavs. Maybe with a checkmark for “don’t ask me again on this account.”

- Make sure darker skin tones and makeups come back in a timely manner. Maybe make a schedule for it and share that with players. Explain why it takes so long. Work on bringing poses for darker skin tones as well. If that’s not possible, explain to us why in detail.

- Give us four gods. Please and thank you. :) I promise plenty of us want it. If you can’t or won’t, tell us that, and tell us why. If you can’t tell us why due to a non disclosure agreement or something similar, tell us you aren’t able to tell us why. Whatever communication you can give us is far better than none.

I love and care about this game deeply. It has been a very important part of my gaming life through the past four years. I would not have bothered writing any of this if that weren’t true. I truly and genuinely hope that things change and get better in the future, but until then I will not be quitting, but I also will not be spending nearly as much time or money on it as I have in the past, which makes me sad. I wish everyone the best and I hope our devs will listen and improve their communication at the very least. Thank you.

#Love Nikki #lnduq #Love Nikki game #miracle nikki #love nikki dress up queen #TLDR; game bad. me not play as much or spend money until game better. also give us four gods.#anyway uhhhhhhh bye again got to post this everywhere else too but probably tomorrow so more people see

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binniesthighs · 3 years

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eehee here it is the long awaited results of my chaotic ass survey about our hornies it’s so long holy heck, but I have seperated it into a couple sections to make sense of it all (omg if you read all of it lemme give you a kith teehee) ahhhh lol its SO nerdy haha but i hope that ya enjoy nonetheless! ✨

In this essay, I will....(hahah jk jk this is just all for fun)

1. Demographics Analysis

2. Polls on Fic Content

3. Member Specific Analysis

4. Deep Dive into the Juicy Questions (Confessions)

5. General Thoughts and Conclusion

6. Cute shit that ya’ll said that made me giggle

*Unpopular opinions will be made into their own post to give them ample space and analysis!

Other Notes:

Out of 100 individuals surveyed, 44 were readers, 2 were only writers, and 54 were both readers and writers.

Statistical significance can be effected by sampling, selection, and response bias (yeah i took a stats class teehee) and personal biases

All the the opinions and other analysis presented by me (Ro/binniesthighs) are purely my own oponion and are not factual. you are entitled to interpret all of this information however you like! Anything that i analyze is not definitive!

while this survey is mostly about stay smutblr, i hope that it can also maybe serve as a template for other fandoms as well with the more general questions! this is a survey for everyone!

i’d love to hear about what you think about anything presented in this analysis! feel free to send me an ask or comment! reposting is permitted within tumblr or on other platforms if proper credit is given! ❤️ (uwu hehe if you could please help me spread this i would appreciate it so much! i worked really hard on her 🥺)

1. Demographics Analysis:

Gender Identities of those Surveyed

~My thoughts: this really came as no surprise to me considering how the majority of kpop fans (especially boy group fans) identify as female! Seeing as I am a Stray Kids/Seventeen blog (both of them boy groups) it makes sense to me that my readers would mostly identify as female!

Another important thing to note (from a writer standpoint at least) is the wide array of identities that we still have present within the general audience of stay smut blur (SSB)! I’ll get into this later when i discuss favorite pairings to read, however i think that this gives us one more reason to write for a diverse audience of readers who can identify with different types of self-insert fics!

Top Five:

Female (81%)

Non-binary/gender non-conforming (13%)

Changes by the day (6%)

Male (4%)

Demiboy/Demigirl (3%)

Sexual Orientation of those Surveyed

Other identities mentioned:

????, unlabeled, aromatic bisexual, bicurious, demisexual, “just liking who i like”, experimenting, heteroflexible, sapiosexual, depends day by day, “i just like anyone”

~My thoughts: okkkkk i see us gays of SSB 😏 these demographics were really exciting for me to see! i think that it’s super cool that we have such representation across the board when it comes to sexual orientations present in our community! As someone who personally identifies as pan, this was super comforting to see that there are so many others like me in this little space of the internet! I think it’s safe to say at least from my lil survey that all the bi cuties out here own SSB 💗💜💙

From a literal standpoint, it also makes sense to me that heterosexuality is strongly present as well considering that often the pairs that we read are male idol x female reader so this is the perfect niche!

Top Five:

Bisexual (40.8%)

Heterosexual (26.5)

Pansexual (17.3%)

Queer (7.1%)

Asexual (4.1%)

Stay Creators!!

~My thoughts: this one i was THRILLED at seeing oml hahaha and i was so interested to see that this was nearly an even split!

I think that there’s something to be said about how sometimes we can take our hobbies: (movies, videogames, books, kpop, anime etc)--all things which we really like in totally normal and healthy ways but also kinda like....get hornies about them too? if that makes sense? for example, i have a friend who really likes certain video games/characters from these games as a fan and he’s shared with me that he also doesn’t mind watching porn containing those same characters! (ahahah ya all know what i mean don’t even lie haha)

what this question proved to me as that there are stays out there who practice “being a stay/being a stay creator” who also are interested in the more...horny side of this hobby/interest 😂

what is even more interesting to me is who i wonder if i’ve have consumed any of ya’ll’s content while you have consumed mine??? this i am DYING to know aha but it think its best for all of us to stay anonymous teehee ;)

either way, good on ya for doing what ya do!! you are so so treasured in this community too!! <3

2. Polls on Fic Content (a long section lol)

Favorite Pairing to Read

*other options selected were rankings of favorite pairings so i just added each of them as an entry to the respective category mentioned.

Top Five:

Idol x female reader (69%)

Idol x gender neutral reader (19%)

Idol x reader x Idol (poly r/ship) (14%)

Idol x reader, Idol x reader (threesome, not much interaction between the two idols) (8%)

~My thoughts: once again, this category was pretty self explanatory to me considering that the majority of readers are female identifying, so it would make sense that they would prefer to read smut that aligns with their identity! This is also super present anyway of SSB as i do feel like the majority of writing pieces that I do come along are idol x female reader, and most authors too often disclaim that they are the most comfortable writing this type of pairing as well.

What’s signficant as well is the interest in reading fics with gender neutral reader self inserts as well! this is my personal philosophy when it comes to writing (specifically with requests) but i think that writing gn!reader is always the safest bet to go as to not make assumptions about readers! for writers i think that seeing this 19% is something important to take into consideration!

An outlier to me with this demographic was the “poly r-ship” poll garnering a notable 14% in comparison to the idol x idol option which got 10 less votes (4%). what is a little confusing to me about this is how poly r/ships often (but not always) contain idol x idol content, however there is discrepancy with the amount of readers outright saying that they enjoy reading it alone. I’ll get into poly fics later with the unpopular opinions section--however i wanted to plant the seed here hehe. One other caveat to this is the fact that on SSB i feel like idol x idol content is really in the minority and is much more present on a platform like AO3 so this could be another explaination!

What is kinda cute to me is the fact that readers do really like poly r-ship dynamics more than a threesome (as i defined it, “with less interaction”) so this makes me feel like we are all saps for the fluff that comes with poly r-ship fics ;)

Favorite Kind of Smut to Read

male idol smut (67%)

i read both! (female and male idol smut) (25%)

depends on my mood (7%)

female idol smut (1%)

~My thoughts: Again, this is super expected to me as well considering the above statistics. Since i am a skz blog (a boy group) --as are my moots-- it really makes sense that those who filled out this survey would be into male idol smut!

what was cool for me to see as well was the number of readers who also read female idol smut as well as male idol smut! personally, i more predominately a fan of boy groups compared to the amount of girl group content that I consume (note: i do also consume gg content). because of this, i think that its really up to personal preferences and the content that you consume that can be reflective of the smut content that you consume as well and ya know, whoever gets your hornies going ;)

Favorite Genres...Ranked!

*so this was my fault lol i totally formatted this question poorly in google forms so i’ll try to summarize the most popular rankings with my words haha

*bc of the way that i miffed it (lol) i wasn’t able to get exact measurements, but rough ones!

Top Five:

Smut, fluff, angst

smut n’ fluff (with specific emphasis angst is not desired)

smut, angst, fluff,

fluff, smut, angst,

angst, fluff, smut

~My thoughts: by far, the most popular ranking that i saw was as follows: smut, fluff, angst. i saw this sososos many times haha also...ya’ll got really creative with your rankings and it made me giggle hehe. So! seeing as this is stay smutblr haha makes total sense that the three most popular rankings that we have were lead by smut! since we’re here for the hornies, i totally get this.

as for the “smut n’ fluff” or “fluffy smut” category, there was a decent amount of readers that expressed that this mixture is their fave! i’m kinda looping this with the “mixture” option that i also provided for this question since this was the most popular mixture that i was able to observe along with angst + smut. interestingly, i saw a couple mentions of “hurt/comfort” fics with this question too so this went well with this preference. as for number three on this list, we dip into that smut + angst category that I just mentioned as well. there were several individuals who said that they really really enjoy reading smut with angst!

lastly we get to the four and five on the list: four being fluff, smut and angst. i think this category can also properly represent the folx who tend to like more fluffy fics over the smutty ones, but that can also have suggestive themes too! in five, we have angst, fluff and smut which also is representative of another theme that i saw: as far as plot goes, several people mentioned that they liked fics that start with angst, get fluffier, and then end up in smut, so i think that this could be easily compared!

*there were also several readers who simply said “all of them” or opted not to rank, (lol me) so this really shows the variability in results!

Cute stuff ya’ll said (kind of out of context too LOL)

“... hehE I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE.”

“...I KNOW IT [my ranking] LOOKS TERRIBLY SPECIFIC AND IM SO SORRY and I guess the better way to describe that was one that has all 3 with a happy ending lol my b my b.”

“ ...it just depends on the mood my dude.”

“... (the smut doesn’t have to be soft i just want the relationship to be soft and i want aftercare and general affection).”

“(but almost no angst oops)”

“angst honestly makes me so sad.”

“... but long fics with angst and slow burn smut/fluff is just WOW.”

“ my favourite thing is when it's fluffy smut tbh with a little bit of angsty backstory. that is *chefs kiss*”

“(I'm a sucker for good angsty fics but I cant seem to find them???)”

“Smut, Fluff, Angst (I tend to be a bit of a purist so no mixture here).”

“(i can't read pure angst lol) “

“(I love how much plot there is in angsty fics but I personally can't read anything without a happy ending, i just can't take it)”

“ i literally couldn't rank them bc my mood is always changing lmaooo.”

“ smut, fluff, angst. i know what i’m about.”

Favorite Length of Fics

Top Five:

5k-8k words (27%)

2k-4k words (25%)

1k-2k words (20%)

10k-20k words (15%)

20k words (12%)

~My thoughts: this one was super helpful for me to see!! and writers i hope that this is helpful for you too! as someone who tends to rambles (lol) it was very comforting for me to see that long-ish fics are actually preferred! what is really cool about this data too is that it is all super well balanced for the most part and nearly edqual in some parts! how i see this, i think that when it comes to preferences of length, its really reader specific so anyone could like anything! this goes into a little bit the slow burn question that i asked as well too, but it’s really cool to see that when readers do read, they kinda like something to sink their teeth into!

i wanted to look into how long it takes you to read these words, and it appears that on average, a 5-8k fic can take someone 30 mins to read whereas a 2-4k fic takes about 15mins! idk if this says something about attention spans, but as a writer it warms my heart to know that you’re willing to spend 30 minutes of your time reading something that i wrote! 🥺

another thing i wanted to bring up is the “hard and fast” smut readers--those who like to get straight to the point, get right to business and to the juice! they are also a decently large group too! as for readers who like a nice long fic or a chaptered fic, they are super close in numbers! from this, it’s safe for me to assume that maybe those who like reading longer fics are more inclined to strap in for the long haul with chaptered fics too!

Favorite AUs to Read

*the top category that got cut off (thank you google forms lol) is friends to lovers! the one that says “...love” at 48% is enemies to lovers, and the one that has a blanked out title at 35% is strangers to lovers!

Top Five:

friends to lovers (65%)

enemies to lovers (48%)

high school/college au (40%)

roommates/neighbors to lovers (38%)

strangers to lovers (35%)

Other AUs mentioned by you!

office au, royal au, vampire au, fake date, idol au, slice of life, boarding school au, childhood friends, soulmate au

~My thoughts: ok ok so this was RAD to see! i often wonder myself the kinds of aus that my readers would like to see so this was really helpful! circling back on how readers tend to favor fluff n’ smut (friends to lovers) and angst n’ smut (enemies to lovers) i think that we’re seeing some more themes here teehee.

i like to think that since most of us are of the college age, the college au is super relatable therefore we really like to read it! not to mention that college and high school au’s are super duper cute as well! this is also relatable to the roommates/neighbors to lovers category which is also relatable to us who may or may not have experienced having a roommate or crush on the cutie next door ;) as a couple readers mentioned, they liked more “slice of life” au’s--which both of these categories fall into! i think we as readers like scenarios that feel the most real to us, bc they are the easiest to insert ourselves into :)

fantasy and thriller, action, more “fiction” tropes are in the minority, however i think that this can be for the exact same reason as i mentioned above where readers like more relatable scenarios.

Opinions on Slow Burn Fics

~My thoughts: during polling of this category, this pie cart stayed basically the same the whole time!! that was pretty cute to see! the important take aways from this survey for me is the fact that slow burn fics are generally really loved! again, lol as someone who writes big ol’ long slow burn fics this made me feel a lot better hahaha basically, the general consensus is that slow burn fics are welcome most of the time, however some readers might need to invest a little more time into them! this is also very easily comparable to the above statistics on the length of fics preferred (longer ones being the ones more popular) so here’s a lil more supporting evidence!

3. Member Specific Analysis

Bias Survey

Top Five:

Chan (19%)

Changbin (18%)

Hyunjin (16%)

Jisung (15%)

Minho (14%)

~My thoughts: ok ok ok so this is where it starts getting JUICY hehe (also i apologize once more for making you pick LOL)

the reason why i asked this question was because i wanted to see if there was a correlation with biases and if there was a probability that members who had more people biasing them (or popularity I guess) were more likely to be read more in smut fics! AND I WAS RIGHT haha isn’t this so fkn cool??? (see more in the next section!)

for comparison, i went to kprofiles to see their little survey on bias popularity and their top five.

Kprofiles Top Five:

Hyunjin (15%)

Felix (14%)

Chan (12%)

Minho (11%)

Jisung (11%)

SO oh my god my nerd brain is loosing it over this REE so, what i should note that is those who took this survey on my blog are likely generally different based off of the fact that they are here to read smut specifically, rather than the general holistic popularity survey. It is for this reason that we see Felix much higher on this list and Changbin much lower too (as we know Felix is really well known generally and globally and there are *generally* fewer Bin biased fans). What was really interesting to see what that with Hyunjin, Chan, Jisung and Minho, they still all stayed within the top five! Soooo what i’m saying is.... all of you Hyunjin, Chan, Jisung and Minho fans really must like your smut 😏 and I think that it’s safe to assume that the majority of hard stans come from these four members too ooP (and of course our Binnie too! ;) i see all of ya’ll 👀)

Members That Get Our Hornies Going

~My thoughts: AHH DOESN’T THIS LOOK SO SATISFYING? I’M SO PROUD OF HER!!!

First off, i would like to acknowledge the all mighty power of Bang Christopher Chan for pooling this most hornies god DAMN while i kind of expected this, it is also evidenced in the fics that i write! recently i’ve been tracking the number of notes that my Chan hard thoughts get in comparison to other members and the differences are usually ASTRONOMICAL. He is most def the most popular member for smut for several different reasons, lowkey bc i think that it’s kind of part of his brand?? hahaha if ya know what i mean?

As for preference from Minho on, we can see a super obvious trend that as age order decreases, we get less and less interest for reading for the member. I’m fairly inclined to believe that this has to do with the fact that most often fans (especially fans older than skz) have a harder time seeing the younger members in a sexual way, so the lack of interest totally makes sense here! As referenced above too, we found that the oldest five members (Chan --> Jisung) are the favorites for smut reading which we can see here as well when the numbers really drop after Felix (Felix coming in at 6th place on my “popularity” survey).

Bc of these statistics, i do really feel like as a reader, i tend to see much, much more fics involving our top five! As for Seungmin and Jeongin, I’ve also seen people state that they do not read or write content for these two members bc they do not feel as comfortable, so this can also explain the lack of content. Also as we have heard many times, Jeongin is a bit of a hot topic lol within the SSB community, so this makes sense that his readership would be low as well.

4. Deep Dive into the Juicy Questions (aka confessions)

Is the fact that you read smut a seggsy secret?

~My thoughts: JUICE TIME JUICE TIME

Before I say anything, i wanted to tell you all how all of the juicy questions were totally optional, but i got 100% participation for every single one of them which if find HILARIOUS i guess you all are just as curious as i am?? ;)

So! for this question, we have an overwhelming amount of readers who said that only their closest friends know which is so cute to me! i love how we can trust our friends with this hehe. i also fall into this category bc like, it’s lowkey kinda fun to talk about? maybe also the fact that i run a smut acct makes me care a little less about it all hahah

secondly, we have the rather large group of people who said that they wouldn’t dare to tell anyone which is also sooo cute haha idk how to explain it but this was the category that i started out in too until i found the right people! But i totally get ya, reading smut--especially-- kpop smut-- can be embarrassing or cringey to share (not to mention that it is somewhat morally grey LOL) so this is really understandable!

also my fkn hats off to all of you who said that you didn’t care about who knows that you read smut. here, you dropped this: 👑 you’re much braver than i could ever be.

When you read smut, do you really feel the hornies?

~My thoughts: ok, so this one to me was also very interesting for me to see as well! (also if you get uncomfy reading about personal masturbation habits you can skip this one lol)

the reason why i asked this question was because i wanted to see if people “get off” by reading smut (whether reading it turns you on, or if you choose to use it for “material” to get off on however this might look, might be more of a mental simulation without any real like, physical getting off) candidly, I use smut to get myself off every once and a while, so i wanted to see who else might be in the same group! since becoming a writer however, i read much less and reading it doesn’t hit the same when i was just a reader bc i have a different perspective of being the one writing the smut so i look at it more analytically--i digress.

it was exciting (teehee get the pun?) for me to see that others also “get off” on smut too--and that they are the majority! teehee it is an honor for me to provide you with the hornies LOL. at the same time, we still have a large group in the “don’t take to seriously” category which was interesting to me too! i can’t speak for these readers, but i interpreted these kind of readers to be the kind who read smut to imagine the scenes and are like “hm, that’s hot, i like thinking about this.” but it doesn’t extend much outside of these thoughts.

What is the most popular position pairing we like to read?

*smaller slices of the pie represent multiple favorites which i also seperated back into the categories corresponding to get the best count into what was the most preferred.

Actual Breakdown:

dom!idol // sub!reader (51 votes)

switch!idol // switch!reader (32 votes)

subidol! // dom!reader (11 votes)

all of the above (5 votes)

depends on my mood (2 votes)

~My thoughts: i feel as if there is a bit of a conflict between which position really is “the best” and while we really can’t know the answer to this question since everyone has different preferences, we can at least find out which one is the most popular to be consumed!

again, going off of the content that I also see as a reader, i see TONS of dom!idol fics, like, left and right. also, if i may come for all of our necks, 👀 but...there’s really something to be said about the fact that the majority of readers are female and historically and socially, women are typically socialized to be submissive, so i can see why this would be why we would favor this among fics--this is even further evidenced by the fact that male idol smut is also preferred, thus further perpetuating the fact that women have been socialized to be submissive to men specifically. i’m not saying that this is the end all be all reason that this trend is present, but i merely offer it as a possible explaination. this is a much larger sociological conversation, but i think that this trend also showed itself in the types of smut that readers seek out as well--according to demographics.

sub!idol fics are few and far in-between, and i think that this can also be for the exact same reason as i talked about above!

When you read smut, do you pick faves to read for?

~My thoughts: what’s cool about this question is the fact that the “half and half” nature of it also resembles what we saw in the section for favorite members to read! As we see in that chart, 41 out of 100 people said that they read everyone, similar to this question where 48 out of 100 people said that they read for everyone. What this proves to me once more is that when it comes for reading fics, there's a 50/50 chance that the reader will look at, and read it based off of who it is about alone. This is a really powerful statistic, meaning that the members who that a writer might write for really dictates their readership! At the same time, it’s super comforting to know that regardless of what you as a writer might write, there’s always someone out there who is willing to read it! (as evidenced by the 52% of people who read for anyone! this is still a large number)

Readers: Do you only use Tumblr for smut?

~My thoughts: when i first started out reading smut, i was in the “i just look up skz smut” group LOL so i wanted to see again if there was anyone like me--which there is! This was more of my interest in seeing if some people view tumblr as “their smut dealer” AHA so that my initial motivation. I was surprised to see that this is not the case! out of 100 readers, 39 of them have their own non-smut blogs and the second largest group of 26 people use tumblr for smut exclusively.

idk why, but when thinking of this question, it really got me thinking back to the question where i asked if reading smut is a seggsy secret, and there was the group of people who said that it is for them--i’m assuming that these people might be part of the group have non-smut blogs and read on the side teehee.

at the same time, there is a combined 40 people who said that they use tumblr for smut purposes only which makes sense to me, as those who filled out my survey are readers of my smut blog if you catch my drift haha

Writers: Do you read smut, or just write it?

*56 responses correlate with those polled who identified as writers/both as mentioned above

~My thoughts: this survey is really really cute for me to see bc it means that there is a whole support network or writers out there reading, supporting and here to hype other writers work!! if anything, as a writer because it takes so much time to write, it can become hard to find time to read, hence the “when i have time option lollll (*cough cough* me LOL) thank you all for your honesty with this question!

5. General Thoughts and Conclusion

Survey on Exposure

~My thoughts: i kinda wanna close off this survey by getting on my soapbox for a sec lol. At least for me, the most common ways that readers found my blog were: looking up a tag, and from a repost. i think that this really goes to show the power of exposure and certain tactics that you can use to increate readership of your account! new readers, if you’re reading this and you’re just starting out, tagging your stuff is so so important!

also, as i have said and so so, many other content creators have said countless times before, reposting is so crucial and it takes little to no effort to repost a creators work so that it might reach others! as a writers, we spend hours, and i mean hours creating content, editing, drafting, creating headers all out own time to publish something that we are proud of and for you to enjoy! it means the world to authors when you reblog their work and even more when you give feedback too because this is our passion! we write for free in the middle of our busy lives so the validation makes it all worth it!!

Conclusion

~phew! so that’s it! once again, i wanted to thank you all from the bottom of my heart from participating in this lil study! i really hope that it is helpful to writers and readers alike! i wanna give ya all the biiiiiigest Ro huggies!! 💕💕

as i mentioned above, the answers for the unpopular opinions will be made into their own post bc there is a ton of them and i didn’t want to clutter up this doc lol

don’t ya ever forget that you are important, loved, and special! happy hornies my cuties ;)

~R 🌹

6. Cute shit that ya’ll said that made me giggle (and hopefully makes you giggle too)

~you all are the light of my life!! each of these comments brought me so much happiness and i love you all so fkn much for that!! also, to those of you who said, “Ro date me” PLZ haha i will date you too!!! too all of the super sweet comments about my writing, thank you so so very much and thank you for reading! it means so much to me!! to all of the i love yous, ahhhh i love you toooooo 💕

“I DUNNO IM BAD AT FUNNY STUFF BUT KNOCK KNOCK I GUESS? -whos there

-ro who

Me, in chan voice: RObber ducky you're the one

yeah...

yeah

bYE”

“ I didn’t know changbin’s thighs were of such importance until I saw your username but now?? 👀 I am looking respectfully.”

“ every time chan doesn’t reply to my bubble message i hold my breath and try to die💆‍♀️”

“ here are my favorite emoji combos: 😐☝️ 😫🖐️ 😂🤏 (i use that one when i get a dick pick and it's rlly small but the person thinks its big-) “

“ you are EVIL for making me choose just ONE bias OT8 EXISTS OK!?”

“ I hope this survey provides you with a lot of useful feedback! -sincerely a big tiddie committee member (you know the one)” [hehe yes i do hai M ;)]

“ chan’s tiddies... that’s it.”

“jeogiyo noona hokshi namjachingu isseoyo?“

“ Jeongin is appropriately baby bread because his face is puffy in the morning so it's kinda like yeast rising 👉👉 “

“ someone needs to tell hyunjin to put some vaseline or something on his cuticles like I love him a lot but his recent live made me scream sir your cuticles are hanging on for dear life please I'm literally begging you “

“ I squeal whenever I get a notification from you and my family think I’m secretly dating someone. It’s nice knowing that they think I can get someone during a pandemic 😁 “ [this one had me SENT]

“i hope ur dreams are blessed with skz thighs.”

“ HS Bin supremacy!!”

“Sta”

“Ro(ses) are red, violets are blue - DaVinci painted Mona, cause he couldn't find you :') “

“✨ dInG dOnG ✨ “

“You're doing God's work as a changbin stan xD “ [thank you so much aHA]

“damn gorl, are you a wifi signal? cause i’m tryna connect 🤔🥴✌🏾 “

“Good luck with your survey! I hope you get a big response! You know what else is big..?

Chan's feet. (I'm sorry, that was my attempt to make you giggle but I'm clearly not a comedian)”

“What's the internal temperature of a taun taun? Luke warm! (Haha sorry star wars joke) “

“egg“

“just because you’re garbage, doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot <3 “

“Soft-Dom Minho Agenda is the best agenda. I have spoken. Sincerely yours, Javi (@itsapapisongo) “ [this is the way javi]

“Bang chan daddy supremacy”

“ro, ro, ro your boat gently down skz’ dick hell yea.” [this also had me SENT]

“stay smut writers should take “maknae on top” literally“

“idk man i’m just vibing. hope ur day is going well. (changbin voice) da DA da”

Fin.

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @chaangbin @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

#PHEW #haha this was so fun!!#binniesthighs helpdesk #skz smut #stray kids smut #kpop smut #bang chan smut #lee minho smut #changbin smut #hyunjin smut #han jisung smut #felix smut #seungmin smut #jeongin smut

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giggles-and-freckles · 3 years

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i don't know if any of you are familiar with the concept of 'enneagram types.' if you're not, you can check it out here. lots of fun stuff to click around and read about if you're interested in what this even is. but i've been thinking about it in reference to some of our fave sw pals and have decided to do some character study via enneagram. first up: anakin skywalker in all his angsty glory.

Anakin Skywalker

Eight--The Challenger

Basic fear: of being hurt or controlled by others

Basic desire: to protect themselves and their loved ones

Anakin is an eight. Everything for him comes down to power and control. I believe his childhood as a slave is what really impacts this. He lived his entire childhood under the control of another and wanting to get out. Then, he found that freedom and essentially came under the control of something else (this is not to say that the Jedi Order actually functions as a slaver...but I think Anakin perceives it as that on several occasions). After the fall of the Republic, he becomes a slave to Sidious and the Dark Side. I would argue that the only time Anakin is every truly free is in his death, when he makes the completely independent decision to kill the Emperor. That dialogue between Luke and Ani is really telling, in my opinion.

“I’ll not leave you here. I’ve got to save you.”

“You already have, Luke.”

Because that’s all Anakin ever wants, really. He wants to be saved. And he never quite understands that only he can save himself. This power complex is very aligned with an eight. He so desperately wants control...but so easily falls into bondage over and over again.

Eights commonly have a childhood trauma or Moment that “flips a switch” for them. It takes their innocence once and for all and replaces it with a hardness that wasn’t there before. I think a lot of arguments can be made for this. Perhaps it was some unseen moment offscreen prior to The Phantom Menace. Maybe he watched a fellow slave die. Maybe he watched his mother suffer in some tangible way. Maybe it happened between TPM and Attack of the Clones. But for the sake of this analysis, I’ll use the Tusken Raiders as the Moment. We see it affect him in all the ways one of these “loss of innocence” moments for an eight normally does. It’s a game-changer. In canon, it’s Anakin’s first touch of darkness. In the real world, it’s him dealing with insurmountable pain and suffering. Interestingly, we see that this “loss of innocence” directly counters the basic desire of an Eight, as well. Protecting self and loved ones. He fails to do that. He watches the one he loves the MOST die in his arms. Which--for an eight--is the ultimate form of pain. To lose a loved one feels like personal failure. You LET them die. You LET them suffer You could have SAVED them. But you failed. We see Anakin deal with this onslaught of emotions and then...we see him take action.

Eights are a part of the gut triad. This means before they think with their head or feel with their heart, they act with their gut. Their impulse. I don’t think anyone would dare to make the argument that Anakin leads with his head (sorry buddy...but you are Himbo Certified), but I can see arguments for Heart. My only real counter here is that the two greatly influence each other. And we see him ACT in tandem with his feelings. He doesn’t just sit in his emotions and mope. I’ll continue to use the Tusken incident. Immediately, without any hesitation, he acts on his anger. Anger is not a primary emotion, it’s secondary. I’m not in Anakin Skywalker’s head, but as an eight...I feel like I almost see where he’s coming from, even in his worst moments. Doesn’t mean I agree or that I would partake. But I understand (and it hurts me). I see so much fear for him. Fear that he’s not as strong as he wants to be, fear that he wouldn’t be able to protect other loved ones if something like this happened again, fear that he’s weak when it really matters. Like when the time comes to protecting loved ones. That’s why everything spirals so fast with Padmé. He immediately gets put into that fear mindset. That “weak” feeling of “I can’t do it, I can’t save her…..but I have to.” That conversation between the two of them on Mustafar is evident of this. “Love can’t save you, Padmé. Only my new powers can do that.” Because that’s what it comes down to for Anakin. His worth lies on his ability to save himself and the people he loves. That’s why his perception of love becomes very selfish. He begins to care about the act of salvation more than the person them self.

One of my favourite moments is the classic “this is where the fun begins.” It’s such a silly quick moment but it’s so revealing of Anakin’s character. Eights feel adrenaline like no other number. Their vitality is completely based in their ability to turn their raw energy into something GOOD. For example, doing dangerous dives and spinning (because it really is a good trick) for the sake of the Republic. It gives Anakin a sense of “YES! See how good I am? See how I’m using my aggression and strength for good?” Especially important for someone who has committed atrocities and inspired destruction. To turn around and use that energy and skill for good? That’s invaluable. I think that’s a reason Anakin fails to see the hypocrisy of the Republic.

“What if the democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists, and the Republic has become the very evil we have been fighting to destroy?”

“I don’t believe that. And you’re sounding like a separatist.”

When Padmé merely questions the point of the war he so immediately snaps back and makes it a personal betrayal. He’s so quick to turn down the slight implication that he’s fighting for the wrong side. Eights are all about sides. All about choosing. Anakin can’t begin to consider that maybe his Side isn’t so altruistic. It would crumble at his very core. This is where the Challenger (the moniker of an eight) comes in. They love to challenge the world around them but absolutely cannot handle when someone else is challenging it in contrast to them. Well...an unhealthy eight anyway. Healthy eights see the importance of contrasting beliefs and the power of refining conversations.

Eights want to ‘leave their mark’ on the world.

“I’m not the Jedi I should be. I want more. And I know I shouldn’t.”

This plays into the ‘deadly sin’ of an eight. Lust. This isn’t explicitly sexual (though I guess it can be, at times). It’s more of a desire for MORE. A need for more. It’s all about that power and control. An eight never quite feels satiated...at least not in their unhealthy state. Which Anakin invariably is in. An eight is always seeking things to satisfy them. Through people and power.They’re not concerned with the actual accomplishment, in the societal standard. Before Anakin is granted a seat on the council, we never see him express a desire to even have it. It seems like that’s completely a Palpatine thing. I can’t help but put myself in Obi-Wan’s shoes there. Seeing Anakin’s overreaction and wondering where it’s coming from. Because Anakin has never seemed like he wants to be on the council. Quite the opposite in fact. His tantrum about being denied the rank of master is really evident of the stake Palpatine has already dug into Anakin’s mind. Ann eight’s desire is personal. They don’t care if they have the top title or the most power from the POV of the world. They worry about their own standards. Which is difficult because we never quite manage to meet our own standards and end up in a lot of disappointment. Anakin holds himself to a hard standard. Obi-Wan, Padmé, and Ahsoka all seem to recognise that in him.

“But be patient, Anakin. It won’t be long before the COuncil makes you a Jedi Master.”

“To be angry is to be human.”

“Maybe, but I have to sort this out on my own. Without the Council and without you.”

These encouragements are so unique because they ground Anakin in a very human way. They hit at his insecurities and remind him it’s okay. He doesn’t have to be all-powerful or perfect. Which they know he needs to hear because he can’t quite recognise these truths on his own. He needs the emotional coddling. Unfortunately, in these moments their words aren’t enough. Each of these conversations is characterised by impending sadness.

Eights are seen as the bravest people. I think this aligns well with what we know of Anakin. He has little to no hesitation when putting his life on the line. He volunteers for the most dangerous missions. Doesn’t bat an eye at horrific scenes. He’s willing to do the hardest and scariest things. He’s brave. He’s determined. When talking about Ahsoka, he says “no one has her kind of determination” to which Plo Koon immediately responds, “Except for you.” But this is such an interesting part of an eight to me because I believe eights are actually the most fearful of any number. Because what they fear is fear itself. They are so horrified at the prospect of being afraid it becomes almost dangerous. They will do whatever they can to mask that fear. Which is what puts a lot of eights into that anger reactionary position. A sort of ‘people can’t know I’m scared if I’m the one scaring others’ sort of mentality. The bravado, the courage–it’s all a facade to hide the fear that eights very uniquely do not feel qualified to experience on even the micro-level. It leads many eights to become dictatorial in the way they love others (which isn’t really love at all in the end). Pushes eights to commit atrocities in word or deed all for what they consider to be the ‘greater good.’ They push and prod at the lines a normal person knows not to cross. Not only do they cross them–they plow through them, hoping that it causes enough of a scene to distract from the fact that they’re just like everyone else. In fact, they’re even more vulnerable because no one has taught them how to exist in a state of need. No one has showed them how to ask for and accept help. Instead, they bottle it all up over long periods of times, releasing small bits in dramatic bursts of energy...until that line is crossed and all bets are off.

The goal of a healthy eight is to find a way to channel the aggression and drive into being the ultimate helper and advocate. Unfortunately, Anakin doesn’t get to this until the very end of his life. His fears guide him down a path of darkness. And we see him mask that fear with anger and hatred over and over again. That’s the way of the Dark Side so it’s no wonder it was so appealing to someone who had already been doing that without proper teachings. Anakin Skywalker had the potential to be one of the greatest forces for good in the galaxy. And for a split second at the end of his life, we see him do just that. It’s all the moments before, though; when he chose fear and anger and lust over and over again. Shoving strength and bravery into the vacancies of emotional competency. Until it all became too much.

#this was a lot and idk if anyone even knows what enneagram is on here #but its been really important for me in understanding myself and the people I love #im an eight by the way so I GET anakin #it hurts me but I GET him #just wish the world was kinder to him :(#wish he believed in his own power to save himself #sw meta #anakin skywalker #enneagram ramblings

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meruz · 3 years

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Aforementioned long ask post please excuse me while i try to figure out tumblr's new text editor. I’ll get into the art meme questions first and then the rest at the end.

Ok first of all thank you all for sending in questions! Giving me an excuse to talk hehe. I’ll address these in number order. Here’s a link to the ask meme for reference but also I’ll restate the question for ease of reading.

1. When did you get into art?

Super cliche answer but I don’t remember a time where I WASN’T the weird art kid! I started keeping a dedicated sketchbook when I was about 12? But here’s a page from my kindergarten journal about what I want to be when I grow up.

2. What art-related sites have you ever signed up for?

LOL this is a weird question. Not sure why so many people want to know. Anyways I definitely had a dA. more than one dA account. I used to browse oekakis when I was a kid but I think I was only signed up to some small ones that internet friends owned. What else...? Mangabullet,Tegakie, Paintberri, iscribble back when that was a thing, instagram if that COUNTs, I used to post art on livejournal and dreamwidth too. Patreon, I guess. Gumroad, inprnt, bigcartel, storenvy all for selling stuff.

In terms of resources.. I have a schoolism account that I’m sharing with friends. Used to take classes on coursera for free. I signed up to textures.com for work recently haha. I can’t remember if I ever had an account on posemaniacs. Did they have accounts...? I definitely used to visit all the time.

3. Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand.

Alright here’s me actually logging into my old deviantart account. These are from September 2008 So I was 13 years old. I don’t have a deviantart account from before then because 13 was the required age for having an account and I didn’t want to lie about my age because I wanted people to be impressed by how young yet clearly incredible at art I was LOL.

4. What defines your artistic style?

You guys are probably more equipped to answer this than me but uh... I wanna say... Focus on colors. And... a slightly heavy hand? Like confident... not always well-considered mark making HAH...

Also I think I have a pretty healthy mix of american comics/manga influences. I feel like people who are into american comics always think my art is too manga and people who are into anime/manga always think my art is too american. And I’m taking that as a good sign.

5. Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past?

I like to think I switch it up a bunch! I mean, these are pretty different, right?

I think I’ve mentioned this before but one thing I really took away from art school is that, for an illustrator at least, art style shouldn’t be consistent. Your greatest weapon is changing the aspects of your style based on the task, the emotions and message you want to illustrate etc. So depending on the project I’m working on, the fandom I’m drawing for, whether I want something to be funny or serious or dramatic, I’ll change things about my style all the time.

One thing I don’t rly post on here is really tight polished work and that’s because I do that for my day job haha. If you’re not paying me... I’m probably not gonna color in the lines.

6. What levels of artistic education have you had?

I have a whole ass diploma LOL. Bachelor of Fine Arts in Illustration. from the Rhode Island School of Design. And I had a great college experience tbh. Besides the student loans. If any of you guys are thinking about art school feel free to e-mail or message me questions or concerns, I’ll be happy to help. Be as honest as I can be.

7. Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.

heres the wandavision kids. Uhh what else do I have...I feel like I’m rummaging for loose change here...

assorted valentines prep doodles

8. What is your favourite piece that you have done?

Well, obviously this is gonna change all the time and generally it’s gonna be my most recent piece LOL. So yeah, why the hell not. I’ll say it’s this one. I have a pretty short memory which I count as a blessing for an artist. I don’t dwell that long on older work and it keeps me moving forward.

10. What do you like most about your art?

I like that it’s something that only I would make! I had this thought fairly recently and I wrote it down in my sketchbook, it’s pretty cheesy and rambling but it felt revolutionary at the time:

So yeah. I like my art best when it’s the most me and for me. And I like it least when it feels like I’m just making something for social media or for other people’s expectations or whatever.

14. What do you like drawing the most?

Kids in baggy clothing are like my go-to LOL idk if that’s obvious. but also I like being challenged so lately I’ve really loved drawing multi-character compositions, environments, weird angles, etc.

oh i LOVE drawing the underside of shoes lol. And bandages. People that are kinda beat up.. I think it comes from getting a bunch of cuts all the time. I’m always patching myself up and I want to patch characters up too.

15. What do you like drawing the least?

mmm I try to find something to like in every drawing but lets see... I don’t like doing commissions of people’s dogs. Just because it’s normally like... a family friend and my mom volunteered me without my consent and I don’t even really know what they’re expecting me to draw and I don’t even get to meet the dog. Also I’m not that great at dog anatomy. Trying to learn though.

18. What is your purpose for drawing?

This could have a million answers! Uhhh to GIT GOOD??? But also to express myself... and also to make money... I mean it depends on what the drawing IS. I draw fanart mostly to connect to people in the fandom so if you ever see me drawing fanart please take it as like an open invitation to talk to me about the character haha.

20. How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.)

Good!!! I have a lot of self-confidence primarily born out of ignorance and a short attention span. If I don’t think too hard about how many other artists are mindblowingly unfathombly good... its easy to think I’m good too! LOL

In all seriousness though, I think the opinion a person has of their art is like a crazy balancing act, right? Like you have to think you suck enough to want to get better but also you have to think you’re good enough to not want to give up. I think we’re all walking that line, I know I am! But also I’m a glass half-full type of person so. Most of the time I feel good about it.

22. List at least one of your “artspirations.”

This is a good question because I’ve been trying and failing to put together one of those “influence map” memes for like a full month now. What’s giving me a hard time is I feel like none of these are actually really obvious “““influences”““ in my art? Like it’s hard to see a lot of them in the work I make...? But idk maybe you guys’ll see what I can’t.

And these are just a couple! God there’s so many more. I could talk about other artists for ages, from all different genres of art. Daumier, Rockwell like every illustrator out there, Dana Gibson, Alex Toth, Hiroshi Yoshida, a lot of the Brandywine School. Lots of current working artists too, Karl Kerschl, frikkin Masashi Kishimoto lol, Jake Wyatt, Richie Pope, Edouard Caplain, Matt Cook, Sachin Teng, - lots of big internet artists, Sophie Li, Freddy Carrasco, Milliofish, Angela Sung... like all my friends from art school too. I could just keep going but I’ll stop for now lol.

24. Do you have a shameful art past? (recolour sprite comics, tracing art, etc.)

I mean if that’s how we’re defining shameful?? sure LOL. It’s not sprite comics but I used to do pokemon sprite recolors all the time. And I used to trace manga panels and color them... Granted this was all when I was like under 12 yrs old so it’s not even embarrassing. Can you really call it shameful when a 7 year old wets the bed or whatever? Not really. In fact some of these are cool as fuck. Look

25. Draw a picture!

Man I’m so tired now but here.

I used to get a lot of compliments for drawing people smiling lol but I don’t think I’ve drawn a lot of smiling lately.. here’s proof I’ve still got it.

OK MEME DONE. onto the rest.

I read this ask first thing when i opened my computer in the morning and it made me really emotional.. I’m so glad my sketches could help you!!

I think a lot of artists on social media talk about the struggle of making art but imo not enough people talk about the joy! Like I know it’s corny but. I really meant what I said at the beginning of that sketchbook about re-contextualizing art around process and progress > product and perfection. I think its super important..! The strength of messy, unfinished, and energetic art! For the feeling of it, for the love it!

That's crazy!!! I hope you like 'em. The whole line of x-books is really good rn imo.

Hi! I totally have the answer for digital stuff on my faq lol. But in terms of drawing on paper.. it varies! I tend to use sketchbooking and any on-paper doodling I do as a way to loosen up/warm-up or experiment. But right now my go-to aresenal is:

from top > bottom

- kuretake no.55 doublesided brush pen

- tombow fudenosuke

- muji 0.38 ballpoint

- medium size poscas

- grey tombow double brush pens

- good ol bic mechanical pencil

not EXACTly sure which inking you referring to from my sketchbook but if I had to take a guess it'd probably be the kuretake no55. That's been my main inker, lately. Great for sketching with the thin end too.

You can print out and eat my art if you like. Just please don't mass produce or re-sell. <3

Thanks! I've come to accept that my art is always gonna be sort of gestural and painty naturally. It's getting it to tighten up enough to be legible that's hard lol...

uh yeah lol I agree actually. I think yolei is great.

I assume these asks are related? LOL

1) Yeah totally true. I love David.

2) I don’t take requests, sorry! But if you want to commission me to draw Legion i would be MORE than happy to. Just e-mail me at [email protected].

<33333333333333333333333333

#ask #anonymous

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ryuichirou · 3 years

Note

Can you make your top 10 aot characters that have a good development? Like Eren and Reiner are considered to be the best characters as 'characters' themselves

Anon… dear Anon, you’ve been waiting for like a month I think, I’m so sorry. I took this ask waaay too seriously lol, but yeah, I can’t postpone it for any longer…

I know you asked for top 10, and this is a numbered list, but I wouldn’t call it a proper ranking, so the place doesn’t really matter all that much. Otherwise this list would’ve taken even longer, I’m very serious about lists, it seems lol

Before I start I want to mention (just in case): I feel like “character development” isn’t always about becoming better at something. Sometimes you can become “worse”; sometimes you can get “better” and then fall back to your old ways. It’s just how the character changes, and the trajectory of that change can be very different for different characters.

1. Eren. I can talk about Eren for hours and hours, and I have talked about him a lot, so I’ll try to be quick this time.

Eren’s journey is very interesting and enjoyable to read. He’s such an unusual main character. So aggressive at first, unlikable to some (not to us lol we adored him since day one), loud and stubborn. But it’s super cool to watch this hurricane of a person, especially as he gets calmer, starts controlling his emotions little by little, learns more stuff and understands the situation around him better.

I think I’ll talk about how perspective and knowing a bigger picture change the way character acts a lot in this post, but Eren is an ultimate example of this. He got every single thing: past, present, future, drilled in his head at one fucking moment. He didn’t get a bigger picture, he got the biggest 5d picture with special effects. And he had no one to share that with: he had to deal with it himself, knowing that he himself is the reason for everything that’s happening. It makes my head hurt to even think about that lol It’s cool and unnerving to watch Eren, who’s used to be such a fireball of a character, to just get… quiet and apathetic. We don’t know what he’s thinking about, we don’t know what’s going on anymore, even though his emotions were always the most obvious thing about him. It’s almost scary.

And the interesting thing about it is that nothing really changed about his feelings, at least I think so. Ultimately, the only thing he wanted is for his friends to be happy and live long lives, and who knows, maybe he saw that the “freedom” he was initially seeking for himself doesn’t really exist. This is up to debate and definitely not for this post though lol

2. Reiner. Ohh Reiner. He was one of the characters who wasn’t all that interesting to me personally at first, but as he got more and more complex and emotional, I fell in love with him more and more. This isn’t a numbered list, but he is definitely one of the best written characters. And what’s cool about him is that we see the reason for him being the way he is throughout the story: why he wanted to become a hero, why his mental state got so bad, why he was conflicted, why he got so depressed and why he was able to take responsibility for his actions. I love it when the story breaks its characters, and Reiner is certainly one of the most broken ones. His lower point (when he almost killed himself + cried and asked Eren to kill him) was very beautiful and painful to read, because we know why he feels that way and we know how smug and brave he was at the very beginning of the show/manga. And we know that it was all a lie, which makes everything even tastier.

And as much as I love broken characters, I’m kind of glad Reiner found strength to continue fighting and to take responsibility for his actions (to some degree, at least). Not only he saw a bigger picture, he actually learned how to live with it. I’m so happy they discussed the Marco incident with Jean, and that after Annie told that it was her who took his gear, Reiner stood up and said that Annie was following his orders. He also apologized to Annie for everything he did to her and Bert.

Basically, Reiner went from wanting to be a hero to acting like a hero, then to being an actual hero to Marley and feeling like shit anyways, then to just being a human being, something like that. And that scene with his mom hugging him and being happy for him being alive is actually a very sweet and satisfying moment. Especially considering how much Reiner wanted to die lol

3. Zeke. I’ve talked about it in one of the replies about ch137, but I love how Zeke went from “I shouldn’t have been born” to “maybe small moments of happiness make everything worth it” at the very end of his life (what a cruel irony to realise that just before you die). Not only the character develops and changes, our view of him changes as well: I think Zeke was universally hated when he first appeared, but then he became more fun (dude’s too charismatic), and then he became sympathetic and vulnerable. All of this was always inside Zeke, but it was hidden since Zeke is a lying snake. See, Zeke is smart, but he’s super sure that his views are the only valid ones and that his idea of freeing Eldians is the only solution. His views are surprisingly black and white: I suffered, Eren suffered and our dad is bad. And no one challenged his beliefs until they walk through Grisha’s memories with Eren in ch120-121, and then he realized that Eren didn’t suffer at all and their dad is actually just a person who really regretted being a horrible father to his first son. I love that he got some closure with Grisha because he held that grudge for his entire life.

4. Grisha. He has a rollercoaster ride of a development lol: at first he was an innocent boy, then he became an angry boy, and then he kind of calmed his anger down for some time? But after learning what actually happened to Faye, his emotional wounds got open and all that rage blinded him again. And then, after being outed by Zeke, he lost everything, but had a harsh realization that by being driven by his anger only, he completely forgot not to be a shitty dad. He basically had a second chance in life, with a much better perspective about what’s going on, but now he has his younger son’s ghost haunting him and telling him to do thing he never thought he’d do. At different points of the story Grisha feels both like a mastermind behind things and like a pawn who doesn’t have a choice even if he just wants to live a peaceful and happy life with his wife and kids. The irony of him killing a bunch innocent kids when this whole story started because he got his little sister killed? Delicious. Oh, and I really love the fact that he realised that he screwed up as dad and apologized to Zeke. He loved his kids a lot: Zeke, Eren and Mikasa too (he called her his daughter after all).

5. Erwin. Way more interesting than people give him credit for. He’s mostly adored for being a badass, but he also has his own flaws that he had to deal with. He’s like a moth that’s drawn to the light, but right after burning himself and dying he kind of did “the right thing” that he had to do as a commander. Now, for me it isn’t really about Erwin ending up doing “the right thing” to be honest: we would probably adored him is he ditched everyone and ran to the basement because his selfish desires ended up being more important to him. But that scene where he confessed to Levi that he really wanted to find that basement and just told him everything about his capricious and selfish childish desires, talked about how he lied to everyone including Levi basically just to prove his dad’s point… it was beautiful, because it was basically “I have to do it, haven’t I? But I really don’t want to”. His character development is interesting in a sense that at first he was getting gradually more and more psychotic about his dream, doing crazy things even when he knows it might not be the best choice possible (like him risking his life instead of staying behind), but at the very end he stopped to think and… well we know the rest lol

6. Armin. I remember people saying that Armin is just a narrator-like character who is here to explain thing (I probably thought so too at first), but this is so unfair. It’s easy to make someone like Armin into this trope, and to leave him being a very one-dimensional dreamer who’s smart but naive. And Armin is so much more than that. Throughout the story he has a lot of “I should have been the one who died” moments, and I love that this is such a prominent issue for him, but he still got over it somehow. Armin was kind of lost at the beginning, but found his role. And wow, he had to go through it again after he was chosen instead of Erwin, because the burden on his shoulders just got 100 kg heavier lol He also got less naïve and more cunning with time and got much better at emotional manipulation, I think. While preferring a dialogue over violence, Armin still isn’t pure, and he acknowledges that constantly, especially after his first kill, and things got even worse since that point, which definitely changed him. But his violence-loathing (kind of…) core is still there.

Armin ended up playing a much bigger role in the story than I thought he would be, I really love it. He has his moments of weakness, but he still pushes forward and takes responsibility and does his best. Oh and let’s pretend that the Annie thing never happened, it doesn’t contribute anything to his character anyway.

7. Jean. I think Jean is the first character who starts showing character growth, and I believe his development is the reason he was Isayama’s favourite for some time. Tbh, I don’t find Jean annoying even at the very beginning: yeah he’s selfish, but he’s self-aware about it, he’s a realist. And he’s still a realist, but his conscience wouldn’t let him just have an easy life while everyone else’s suffering. I always feel like Jean is a spoiled mamaboy, so it’s great to see him showing that he can put others before himself. He also had an inner conflict similar to Armin’s: is it right to kill innocent people if you have to? Is it ok to kill not-so-innocent people because they’re against you? I really like this theme in SnK just in general.

8. Gabi. It’s no secret that I adore Gabi lol, and I think her character development is great. She was in her element when we first met her: she was confident, she was doing her best and succeeding, she knew the world around her so well, and then Eren took everything from her. People like to hate Gabi for killing Sasha and for being aggressive on Paradis, but I think it’s great that she didn’t have an overnight change of heart. It’s great that Isayama showed us her shock and her raw emotions, it’s more than natural for a child with her upbringing, even if it’s messed up. But I love it when stories take characters that are great at what they do, and they take them out of their element, to show them at their worst: lost, angry, broken and confused. I love that she understood everything herself and not because Falco told her “hey they’re people too” that one time. She had to go through this hell to figure everything out, and I think it’s great.

9. Historia. Historia was one of the least interesting characters for me (and for a lot of people, Yams included) at the beginning, and tbh I think it’s brilliant: we never saw anything in her; she was just a waifu material who’s nice to others. It felt fake and boring, well, because it was indeed fake and boring, and to this day I cannot believe that that was the entire point. I love how Ymir made Historia realise that she needs to think for herself, but what’s interesting about all that is that after Ymir left, she almost came back to her old habits. Which is also a development, and a very interesting one. The end of S2 was a high point for her (when she told Ymir that she isn’t scared of anything when they’re together), and then there was a very low point (when Ymir left), and then a high point again (when she remembered Ymir and Frieda and decided to act upon her own desires). She’s one of my faves now because of all that… It’s sad she didn’t have a bigger role post-timeskip, but I still appreciate her story for what it is.

10. Oh god this is so hard to pick one and this post is already so long… can I just give you a bunch of quick honorable mentions?

Annie (who was a loner that couldn’t really trust anyone but ended up showing her vulnerable and emotional side), Hange (started out enthusiastic and eager to learn more only to meet more pain and disappointment, crumbling under the pressure, but ultimately remembering her amusement with titans), Levi (granted it’s very subtle, but him going through Kenny’s death, Erwin’s death and his promise to him, realization that he’s been killing people all this time and other stuff fascinating and huge leaving a mark on him), Ymir (who got hurt and decided not to trust anyone anymore and to act selfishly, but ended up sacrificing herself anyway lol)…. God, these short description sucks, they can’t describe them properly. Also there are so much of them that I think have good development, and I’m 100% missing someone… but I think I’m done for now. Katsu I’m sorry for making you read all this.

That you for this ask, Anon <3 and sorry again for being so late

#replies #snk meta

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kanonsarchivedblog · 3 years

Text

Hair Cut

Writing Example Word Count: 1430 Rating: T Warnings: Brief description of wound care. Characters: Yumichika Ayasegawa

Shortly after joining the Eleventh ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Each step felt like fire shooting through his legs, starting at the soles of his feet, racing up through his calves, only to settle in his thighs, as if that were its bed for the night. Even so, he dragged himself along, cold night air filling his burning lungs with each breath he drew. His side was white hot, as if a coal had been pressed into the skin and left there, sitting and burning away. It was such a good pain. A little smile tugged at the corner of his lips as the sight of his barrack came into view. His room, his bed- where he could tend to his wounds without feeling shame for grimacing. Where he could see the full extent of the damage done. After all, sparring with your captain was either a great idea if you were in another division, or the absolute worst. Lucky for Ayasegawa Yumichika, it was the latter of the two. He had to prove himself, that’s what he’d been told. He’d come along with the other new recruits; Ikkaku had proven himself two days ago. Today? Today it had been his turn. Watching Ikkaku fight had been amazing, wonderful- it brought back memories of their time in the academy, sparring together and meeting one another blow for blow. The feeling of the blade reverberating within his grasp, the way his blood seemed to sing within his veins, heartbeat pounding in his ears. Yes, this was what he was made for. He was made to fight, to survive. Survival was key in the world he grew up in.

A hand covered with dried blood reached up to grasp the edge of the Shōji, carefully sliding it open. Distantly, he could hear laughter; other members of the Eleventh celebrating. He, too, would celebrate- just not now. Now, he needed to change out of the torn and bloodied shihakusho he wore and make sure nothing was actually broken.

Broken bones meant making a trip to the Fourth, and he’d rather avoid moving any further than necessary. Door closed soundly behind himself, Yumichika took a moment to simply stand and breathe. The fight had lasted longer than he’d expected, Zaraki-taichou pushing him further than he’d pushed the others earlier. But by the Soul King, it had been amazing. Perhaps this would solidify a numbered rank? He certainly hoped so. A numbered rank meant more respect, a better chance at advancing, and a better chance at surviving. He knew his own reiatsu was certainly stronger than some of the grunts that had ended up here; not larger than Ikkaku’s, though. Head tilting, he noted that the ache was beginning to spread throughout his entire body. It felt like he got his shit rocked- and not in the fun, rolling around in a bed sort of way. Then again, that is what happened- he got his shit rocked in front of fifty others. But he’d lasted well over two hours before he finally collapsed. And the smile hadn’t left his lips since then. Gaze drifting around his personal quarters, he paused as he took in the old flowery kimono he once wore. It had been beautiful, well taken care of, and his most prized possession aside from his zanpakutou. Now? Now, it paled in comparison to the shihakusho he donned. A sense of pride swelled within as he limped to the mirror in the corner of the room. A cushion sat before the large mirror, and beside that lay an ivory comb, a small bag containing little pieces of makeup he’d managed to get his hands on through the years, and a much larger bag of first aid supplies. Bloodied fingers grabbed the bag as he settled onto the cushion with a long-suffering sigh. “Shit.” Yumichika murmured, wine toned gaze widening in surprise at the utter mess he was presented with. Carefully, the shihakusho was shrugged off, a hiss escaping his lips as the fabric clung to wounds, the dried blood acting as glue. Head tilting this way then that, he studied the bruises that bloomed along his jawline and torso- and the utter mess that his hair had become. The deep navy locks were a tangled mess, matted and, in some places, uneven. Brow pinching, he turned his attention away from his hair to study the scratches and scrapes along his arms. “Double shit. He really did a damn number on me, didn’t he?” He asked the empty bedroom, staring down at the gash on his side. It wasn’t deep, so it wouldn’t require stitches or any sort of healing. Teeth gritting, he steeled himself for the inevitable sting that would come from rinsing it out. At least he’d had the foresight to ask for water to be delivered to his rooms. He wouldn’t be able to get to his bathroom even if he wanted to, not now. Sitting up on his knees, he grabbed hold of the towels he’d set aside just for instances like this. He needed to flush it first. Kenpachi’s blade didn’t look to be the cleanest, and it obviously wasn’t the most well-kept, given how jagged the gash appears to be. Then again, this wasn’t the worst scar he had. No, that one was on his left thigh, and even now when he looks at it for too long, his stomach twists with the memory. Shaking his head, he drew in a breath before beginning to flush the wound out with clean water. “Fuck, shit, damn it, maybe I should’ve gone to the Fourth,” he muttered under his breath, jaw clenching. “But that’s one long fucking walk that I really don’t want to take. Get it together, Yumi.” Next step, cleaning it with a rag and water. Tears pricked at the inner corners of his eyes from the sharp sting that came with agitating a fresh wound. It took a good few minutes before he was satisfied enough to set the rag aside and slouch, a tear sliding down a pale, unblemished cheek. Ouch. “Tomorrow. The Fourth.” Damn his pride. Angrily, he began to wrap his midsection up with gauze and a white cloth bandage, which only caused the wound to hurt even more, which caused more tears to fall from the pain. By the end of it, he looked a proper mess, bandaged up and crying. Even so, as he studied his reflection, he couldn’t find it in himself to be truly mad. Until he began to try to comb out his hair, and then, reality hit. A lump formed in his throat as he stared at the uneven length. When had Kenpachi even grabbed his hair? Or had he even? Yumichika couldn’t remember; all he knew now was that the waist length locks had been butchered. The hair he’d spent so long growing out, that he’d taken such careful care of- Half of it was cut to his collarbone. The other half was still long. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he reached out, taking hold of his zanpakutou’s hilt. He could hear the spirit whispering to him, wondering what he was doing, what he was planning. He didn’t answer. Instead, he settled the blade on his lap and took out a hair tie, reaching behind himself to gather the mangled, navy tresses into a ponytail that settled at the base of his neck. Wine toned gaze trained upon his reflection, wine toned hues were strong, steeled. Ruri’iro Kujaku hissed as he left his scabbard. The moonlight settled upon the floor beside him, causing the metal to glint in the darkness of the bedroom as he raised in behind his head, the edge settling between the ponytail and his neck. He pulled. Navy locks fell to the ground around him, the remainder swinging forward to settle just below his chin in an asymmetrical bob. Head tilting, he studied his reflection. So much lighter… He shook his head, and the tresses followed the movement. It made a little laugh bubble up. Cutting his hair- that had felt oddly freeing. A smile curled his lips as he reached up and touched the ends. It felt smoother, healthier. Lighter. “Beautiful,” he whispered, a hand cupping his own cheek as he studied his reflection. A tear slid down his cheek, the last bit of mourning leaving him with it. This was who he was. Yumichika Ayasegawa of the Eleventh Division. He will become a seated officer. He will earn the respect of his peers. He will survive this. He will survive.

#m's scribbles #non-ask #yumichika ayasegawa #bleach imagines #bleach fanfiction #bleach

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dumbass-mha-simp · 3 years

Text

Hawks x Reader: Bad Idea

Another self indulgent Hawks fic that I've literally had in my notes for months. He lives in my head rent free along with my other 22 fake boyfriend's because I'm ✨mentally unstable.✨ It is a song fic tho, Bad Idea ft. Shiloh Dynasty https://youtu.be/kH9hJnT7KkE

youtube

Tw: food, depression, Hawks is honestly just feeling it bro- same dude,

Word count: almost 2k? I think

Requests are open! Honestly I'm probably terrible but the only things I can think to write are those imaginary situations I put myself in

(Y/L/N)- your last name

(Y/N)- your name

Thoughts or emphasized talk are in italics

Also idk why but I imagine he removes his feathers to shower since they probably need different cleaning conditions and also they just seem like a hassle in showers.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Here he was, the number two prohero. Everyone assumed his life was perfect, anything he wanted served on a gold platter. He felt the guilt creep up into him.

I should be thankful. The thoughts ate away at his mind in the rare seconds he got alone. You shouldn't be so selfish. So annoying. So insufferable.

Takami pushed these thoughts back. "No one needs to know how you think, Keigo." He whispers out to himself in his office.

He scrawled at paper work, trying to not let the self depreciating thoughts feast away on his mind. Unfortunately for him, different thoughts came up.

His best friend, Rumi had this friend. (Y/L/N). Smart, attractive, sometimes a little rough around the edges, but amazing. He found his mind wandering to them all too often.

They were mostly unknown, despite their insanely strong quirk. They preferred to stay out of the lime-light, through that irritable exterior sat overwhelming anxiety and shyness. But they always denied it.

He stopped himself as he realized he's spent 10 minutes only thinking of them, a friend. Yeah right.

He lazily walked out of the office waving to all his employees as he made his way outside. His eyes slowly dragged to the darkly faded blue sky, dusted in clouds. Cold, tired, aching. Just how he felt.

He took a slow brisk flight to his house, feeling the wind bash his face and the air flow through his feathers. He gently placed a foot on the metal railing of his balcony, taking a deep step to the ground and opening the door.

The emptiness rung through his apartment like a blaring siren. You have everything. How can you still want more?

The voices in his head screamed and clawed their way out. You're nobody. No one ever loved you. You're so alone. You're nothing but a tool to the commission. You're actual character is useless.

He shed his coat, boots, and pants. Looking to himself in the mirror as he removed most of his feathers. He looked exhausted as he stumbled into the shower, numbly.

The next ten minutes seemed to elude him when he wondered how much time has gone by of him staring at the shower wall blankly.

He dried off a bit then looked around his kitchen for something to eat. Have I eaten today? The buzz and light of his phone on the counter startled him.

"Hey, Hawks." A single, simple message from (Y/L/N). Okay don't panic.

"What's up?" He replied swiftly.

"I had this feeling something was wrong and wanted to check up on you."

"Why would you think that?" He tried to play it off like it wasn't true without actually lying.

"I'm not sure. Do you maybe wanna join me?" You asked.

"Where?"

"Well, every once in awhile when I need a break I go and stargaze with a night picnic. It helps me relax, and if you think it might help I'd want to. I can tell something's off." You were always so convincing. It felt like you weren't too nosy or snoopy but you understood.

"Text me where to be and when?" He let out a gentle smile at his phone.

"The dollar store on 4th in 10 minutes? So we can choose some snacks together?"

"I'll be there."

Did Takami think any problems where going to be solved with some food in the dark? No. But would he skip the opportunity to be with you, to find out how he really felt when it was just you two? Absolutely not.

He landed down on the broken pavement outside of the old dollar store, scanning around to see you.

"Boo!" A bump from behind had him flinching to see the sound as you stood behind him giggling. "Got ya."

"Very funny (Y/L/N) the most amazing trick yet." He rolled his eyes with a slight smile.

"C'mon let's go grab a bunch of terrible snacks and call it a picnic, bird brain."

You two walked into the store and walked a large circle around it, choosing chips and candy and drinks at your leisure. Once you got to the counter, he fights you to his wallet.

"It's my picnic."

"And I'm the very special guest who was so generously invited. I'm paying." He grins as you pout at him.

Grabbing the bags you placed them in the back seat as you offered passenger side to him.

"I don't like cars."

"Why not?"

"Cramps my wings."

You look at him with the biggest puppy eyes you can manage. "You already agreed to keep me company and pay for the snacks, let me do something for you?"

"Fine, but only cause you're pouting kid."

He gently sits in your passenger seat as you strap yourself in and turn the car on. The car hums and the music playing softly on the radio are the only things heard. The peace feeling too good to break.

Once you pull your car up into the parking lot of a small park and grab your bags, you begin leading him to your usual place.

"Hold these." You hand him the bags as you jump and climb up on top of a big metal container. You peer over the side with big eyes and a smile as you say to him, "now hand me the bags and do what I did!"

He looks at you with a wide smirk before simply flying up to join you. "Or you can do it the cheater's way." You pouted and bumped his shoulder.

"It's not cheating, it's using my resources." He says with a triumphant smirk.

"Your cheating resources." You pull out your gummy candies and started eating as you leaned back till you were laying down.

"Do you like the stars, Hawks?" You say like your sleep talking, staring into the night sky.

"Keigo." He shifts to lay down about a foot away from you. "You can call me, Keigo. And... I don't think I've ever taken time to look at the stars."

"No sneaking out away from parents to sit on vans and stargaze? Or watching the sunrise with a partner while eating fast food?"

"What kinda date is sitting in a car for hours staring at the sky and eating?" He laughs.

"Ah one that never really happened, he just said he would. But never mind that repressed shit." A sad laugh forces itself out as you stare between the stars.

"Was he cute?" He tried to sound funny but it came out more sympathetic.

"Sometimes," you laugh with him. "But he had really nice hands."

"Hands? That's an odd thing to find attractive." He turned his head over to look at you as your eyes seemed to burn holes in the dark milky blue sky.

He continued laughing with you about this guy but couldn't help an overwhelming feeling of jealousy. Who was he? Did he look anything like him? Was this recent?

"Keigo?" A voice snapped at his train or thought, "Yes, (Y/L/N)?" He replied rushed.

"Do you want your mini cookies?" You ask looking to him with the bag.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks." He mentions grabbing the bag from your finger tips.

He ate his cookies and thought as you seemed either lost in your head, or lost in the stars.

Loving you would be selfish. As such a high ranking hero, he's made a target for himself and anyone around him. He's broken down, can't feel. You obviously have other people on your mind. Someone like you wouldn't be single long.

"When did he leave?" He blurts out without thinking. Maybe it's a sore subject-

"Long ago." You look lost, your eyes searching and wandering but never grabbing hold of exactly where you should be. "Why?" Well I guess if I'm gonna start prying might as well go all the way.

"He thought that maybe he could love me. But now that's just ridiculous," you laugh coldly. "Who would love me?"

"Falling in love with you seems like a really bad idea. But not on your part." He whispers into the wind, hoping it'll carry his words away from you.

"What do you mean?" You look completely confused, almost scattered.

"You're quiet, and I'm someone who puts a spotlight on practically anyone around me. You'd constantly be put in danger. Plus I'm arrogant and cocky, nothing at all like you." He acted like he could see the stars as you could. He stared into them finding any way he could to avoid your eyes.

"You could get hurt or I could annoy you." He whispers.

"I had no idea you felt that way, Keigo." You whisper back, shock keeping your voice quiet.

His eyes burned holes into the night sky, he felt he shouldn't look at you. The mental image of you already wouldn't go away.

"You wanna know something, Keigo? I can read people like books, I can read stars like stories, and I can read in-between lines like they were in bold font. But, you always catch me off guard. Reading you is like a mystery novel. Sometimes intense, sometimes peaceful, but always keeping me wondering." You smile into the stars, you can tell he desperately doesn't want to see your eyes. "You're always leaving everyone on the edge of their seat, and when you leave you can't stop thinking of the next time you'll come. What you'll bring."

"I....I don't think I understand (Y/L/N)-" Keigo's soon cut off.

"(Y/N)"

"Well, (Y/N)- I don't think I understand." He tries to sit up and look at you.

"You catch me off guard, something about you speaks to me in ways I know you never actually would. I can see it, the way you stumble or hesitate. I can tell somethings scared you into silence." You've never had much chance to talk about the ways you analyze people, you wanted to tell him how you could tell the way he acted wasn't always good.

"I think you might be reading too much into this, kid." He tries to intervene.

"I get if you don't want to tell me." You stared up at the stars, waiting for him to do the same. "You see there?" You pointed to a star. "That's a constellation."

"They just look like stars." He seemed a bit disappointed that he couldn't see stars the way you did, with such knowledge and wonder in your eyes.

"That's cause they are," you giggled to him, "it's not like I can actually see the pictures either."

"You.. you can't?" He looked to you confused but slightly hopeful, how could they look at them but not see too?

"That's the whole point, Keigo. It's being able to see what's not really there. Sometimes I stare into the sky hoping to see any semblance of hope, but that's not how it is. You have to teach yourself to look at what could be there." He stared to you, a small content smile graced your face. You were beautiful.

"(Y/N)?"

"Yes?"

"Maybe, loving you isn't such a bad idea.." he looked remorseful, staring into the stars. Maybe he could see it too one day.

"What do you mean?" You glace to him.

"You see so much, you can read and see the things I want to see. I want to learn, (Y/N). I want to see how you do."

The smile on your face spread.

"I'd love to show you."

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