#god. why do i keep wishing my parents learned english and not that my boyfriend learns spanish.

[adonis-koo]

to the moon and back

Summary: Sometimes the distance in relationships really does make a strain and sometimes...it can really make quite the experience, at least in your experience with your boyfriend who only lives half way across the world...

Pairing: Jungkook/Reader, theres like,,,implied Taehyung/Reader if you really squint

Genre: angst, smut,

Word Count: 6.4k

Tags: long distance relationship that I accidentally projected way too much of my own personal experience into 😃, Jungkook just really loves MC, skype sex, I am sorry, mutual masturbation, a little praise kink, Jungkook says baby in korean a lot and once again I am sorry, sex toys, a lil overstim, nothing too crazy tbh, dirty talk, dom!jungkook and sub!MC 🤑

Note: I missed ldr!Jungkook and MC which is based off this sorta imagine I did for them! So I cured it by writing a lil bit about them!! :)

“Hey Jungkook…” 

The said man in question suddenly perked up from where he had been looking down, half his hair tied up and he was rubbing his eyes, he looked tired these days and sometimes you couldn’t help but feel bad. Long distance relationships weren’t always what they were cracked up to be and it wasn’t like you were intentionally looking for a ball and chain at the time...

But well, it was a long night, you were slightly drunk and in a long dry spell so you thought, what the hell? When you signed up for a sub/dom dating website. Again, your intentions weren’t to actually date someone, you were just slightly drunk and horny, and waking up the morning after your phone had been blown up by your now boyfriend. It was innocent at first, you both had a good laugh (to somewhat of your embarrassment) about the whole drunk thing and you were just curious to get to know him. 

It was from there you had learned he lived halfway across the planet in South Korea and not only this but when you began exchanging photos he was by far the most beautiful man you had ever seen. One thing led to another and eventually you both decided to make it official. 

You were used to this of course, you had never actually met him in person and sometimes you felt a little apprehensive to do so, you knew it would hurt Jungkook severely if he ever found out but still...sometimes it felt like you just didn’t know him as much as you wanted too. 

Time zones were a literal hell, by the time you woke up he was getting ready to sleep and most the time texts weren’t sent until the next day, video calls were rare and usually had to wait until the weekend. It sucked. 

Jungkook, if anything, had been trying to convince you to at least fly out to see him, he even offered to pay for your ticket as he was- ahem- apparently in the chain of business for a really well known exports corporation and was a supervisor so he lived very well off in comparison to yourself, who was still in college and buried in debt with little to no money left outside of the expenses of living. 

But again, you were just...nervous...flying by yourself, to a country you had never been too, to meet a man you had never met...You knew realistically everything would be fine, Jungkook was exactly who he said he was, he wasn’t some criminal that was going to murder you and sell your body parts on the black market but…! You just wanted to be safe! To be careful even if that would never happen. 

“Hm?” Jungkook hummed, it was a late saturday night for him but he always stayed up just for you, just to be able to talk to you, to see your face, even if you went hours not talking to one another while he worked and you studied. He told you he just enjoyed looking over at his monitor and seeing you.

Currently you had been curled up on your pillow scrolling on your phone and occasionally admiring your boyfriend’s side profile and strands of hair long hair that fell from his face, “Why did you learn English?”

Jungkook raised his brow a little before suddenly laughing causing you to shift a little in embarrassment feeling as though you had said something dumb, “Well,” He rasped a little, he had been brushing up on his english ever since you started dating but he was also a little self conscious of his accent despite you saying several times over how much you adored it, “English is mandatory to learn in school but I learned extensively due to my family traveling a lot for business and work. I once spent a whole year in New York when my father was employed overseas, that was actually how I became so fluent, classes are fine but experience always teaches best in my opinion....” Jungkook’s lips curled into a smile as he hummed once more, “Which means your studies in Korean would be easier if you visited…” 

Flustered you rolled onto your back as you pressed your pillow against your face, “Jungkook…!” You whined wiggling in your best as you heard his laugh filter through the speaker, “I need you know I really need to stay and study for my finals, it makes up for over forty percent of my grade!” 

“Not even for winter break?” Jungkook let his lips jut into a pout as he laid his chin against his hand, “Jagi I have a bed that’s way too big to sleep in all by myself, are you gonna make me downgrade?” He sighed dramatically as he fell back in his computer chair pulling his hair tie out as his hair fell at his cheeks as he began to fix it. 

You ignored the heat immediately flushing between your legs at the deep rasp of his voice, “My mom’s expecting me to come home to visit for the holidays Koo…” You frowned as you peeped out from behind your pillow to find the massive pout on your boyfriend's face as he sunk in his seat. 

“Sometimes I think you’re just embarrassed to tell people we’re in a relationship,” Jungkook mumbled as he sat up in his seat, running his fingers through his hair as he sulked, obviously trying not to let your rejection make him upset but even through a screen you could always read his moods, sometimes too easily. 

“That is not true!” Your voice was immediately serious as you sat up, fixing your laptop as you set it in front of you, Jungkook was once more slouched in his seat, his hand resting on his cheek as he looked away from the screen, “That is not true Jungkook, I-...” You sighed, “I can’t just drop all my responsibilities here to visit you, you know this, you know hard I’ve been studying for finals and how much my family has been wanting to see me…” 

Jungkook didn’t reply for a moment but you could’ve sworn you heard something akin to a scoff escape his lips, “But you still haven’t told your family...have you?” 

“I haven’t had the chance…” You were immediately trying to defend your reasoning when deep down you felt bad that well...he was right...to a degree, but what were you supposed to tell you family? You met your boyfriend on an offshoot website based around sexual play and not only this but he lived half way around the world. 

“You talk to your mom on the phone weekly Y/n,” The longer Jungkook looked away from the screen the more upset he was getting and you could tell and yet you felt so helpless, it wasn’t like you could just reach over and grab his face, or simply hug him and apologize. Once again, you found yourself at a loss of what to do or say. 

It wasn’t that you wished you hadn’t met Jungkook, you’d never in your life change that night, but sometimes you wished things weren’t so complicated and that your fears wouldn’t get the best of you. And you did speak some truth, even if you weren’t nervous to meet Jungkook in person, it didn’t change the fact that you wouldn’t be able to go now with finals approaching and your family expecting you for the holidays.

“I’m just,” Jungkook inhaled sharply before letting out a sigh, “I just feel so frustrated sometimes, I want to be with you, not part time, half time, or only at night. I want to wake up with you in my arms every single day. And I can’t do that, hell I can’t even get a phone call during the week let alone a text at the same time of day if I’m lucky. We just had a work party where everyone brought their partners and I couldn’t bring mine because she lives in America.” 

His upset was beginning to make you upset, it felt like your gut was being grinded and it wrenched in an unpleasant feeling as you spoke, “Look I’m sorry okay? I can’t help it that this is where I live, I understand you want to be with me, you don’t think I want the same thing?” You put your hand on your chest, trying to keep your voice level as you swallowed harshly, “But right now, I can’t help it Jungkook. The holidays just aren’t a good time right now…” 

“Then what was the excuse during the end of the summer when you weren’t even in school and your parents didn’t want to see you?” Jungkook replied, his jaw clenched and hurt in his eyes as he questioned you, “Or was it still because you were sick in the middle of july?” 

“I just met you!” You cried out now beginning to feel genuinely hurt at your boyfriend questioning the sincerity of your feelings, “I wasn’t going to fly out to Korea to meet someone I had only been talking to for three weeks! Jungkook this is-” 

“I��m not embarrassed to be with you! God, that is literally the last thing on my mind right now! I’m embarrassed at the way we met, I’m embarrassed that I- I somehow have to explain to my family that my boyfriend lives in South Korea and that I’ve never met him and somehow explain to them that you aren’t some serial rapist or human trafficker out to sell my kidney! Because that’s exactly what I’m going to hear! And I’m sorry I just haven’t been ready to deal with that!” You couldn’t even stop the tears from flowing down your face as you pressed your hands to your eyes, “It’s easy for you to talk about us because you’re an adult who lives debt free by himself in his own apartment with your own secure job and you don’t have to answer or deal with anyone, even your own parents! That’s not how it is for me Jungkook.” 

Your head was lowered as you tried to muffle your sobs that was the only thing that filled the loud silence that filtered the air, running your hands through your hair as you took a breath. You could hear a sigh on the other side before Jungkook spoke, “Y/n…” 

“You know what,” You sniffled as you straightened up, “I’m not in the mood to talk anymore,” 

“Y/n! No! Jagi listen-” 

“No I’m done!” You argued back as you wiped your face with the sleeve of your hoody, “I don’t want to talk to you right now. Goodnight.” You clicked the end call button before closing down your laptop. Sitting now, staring at your distinct reflection on the black screen before bursting into a new set of tears. 

Your phone’s ringtone was immediately set off as you sobbed, picking it up as you harshly punched the decline call button before it quickly popped back up on the screen only for you to press it even more vehemently. Your phone lit up several times being flooded with messages from Jungkook trying to convince you to talk to him but you immediately turned off your phone as you collapsed back against your bed, weeping against your pillow as you tried to ignore the pure hurt that filtered your veins despite it being justified. 

God you shouldn’t have even said any of that to Jungkook! Really it was your fault you hadn’t seen him, you had made excuses all because you were just scared. He was probably going to break up with you now...Squeezing your pillow tight you closed your eyes as you muffled your sobs. 

“Girl why are you staring at your phone?” Lisa sighed in exasperation, “Don’t tell me…Oh shit…” She sighed as she watched your eyes begin to pitfully water, “What was it this time?” 

“I’m a horrible person be-because I can’t just fucking suck it up and tell my family about my boyfriend and- and I can’t just go visit him!” You were already wiping your eyes despite not even crying yet and you refused to ruin your mascara in a public store. The bookstore was quiet as ever and the barista who worked the cafe was still sorting magazines out on the rack not even paying attention to you both but still you had to keep up your ideals or else you’d be crying all the time. 

“You are not a horrible person oh my god!” Lisa raised her brows before scoffing, she pointed a long acrylic nail at you as she spoke, “That boy needs to calm his hormones, you are strapped for the rest of the holidays. Y/n! Come on, seriously you need to draw some boundaries with him! Just be honest and it’s going to save you both a lot of trouble.” 

You sunk in your seat as your lips began to tremble making Lisa sigh, “How many messages did he send this time?” 

“Twenty four.” You mumbled. 

“Jesus Christ.” Lisa groaned as she pressed her hand against her forehead, her bangs which had been melded together with hairspray not even moving an inch, “What even started this fight!?” 

Lisa was not only your closest friend but most times she was also your voice of reason which you knew was most times right but still you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as you twirled your straw that poked through the lid of your iced coffee, “Well it was innocent at first, I just asked him why he learned English when he was younger and it translated into him saying experience taught him best which meant going to Korea would help me with my own language studies.” 

“Why can’t you just be honest with him!? Seriously! Y/n!” She gave you her premium disappointed look as you whined, kicking your feet as you covered your hands over your face knowing she was right, but!

“That would literally crush him!” You replied feeling defeated as you slumped in your seat once more, sighing as sadness filled you, “It feels like…” You poked your tongue into your cheek as you exhaled in frustration, “No matter how hard I try, I just always end up hurting him. Jungkook would be so hurt if he knew my main reason for not wanting to see him.” 

Lisa raised her brows as she scoffed, “No he would not! If he’s so desperate to jump on your pussy he’ll come to America and not only meet you but he’ll be meeting me as well the first time. This relationship is a two way street Y/n-” 

“He has a whole team he’s managing Lisa, he’s told me he’d visit if he could schedule the time off but-” 

“All I hear is an excuse,” Lisa clacked her tongue, “Fair is fair, you’re just being cautious as anyone should be when they’re talking to someone over the internet,” She curved a brow before snorting as she sipped her drink, “Now listen, do I think he’s a kidnapper that’s gonna kill you? No. Do I think he’s a fuckboy that just really wants to smash you? Maybe, it’s your relationship. Do what you want but regardless of whether your reasoning is legit he should respect it regardless.” 

You deflated as you sighed, scrolling through his messages where he had profusely apologized several times and went on to explain that he just really wanted to be with you and never meant to dismiss your feelings on the matter. You hadn’t replied yet which made you feel even worse but truthfully, you just really wanted to talk to see him tonight on a video call and talk things over. 

“Anyways, it’s time to boss up bitch,” Lisa pulled out the three textbooks from her bag before dropping them on the table as she offered a smile, “We got finals to prep for, we’re in the two week countdown so we need to cram as much as possible.” 

Sighing you glanced down at your phone one last time before turning it off knowing the temptation to look over Jungkook’s messages would be too tempting. Putting your phone away you pulled out your notebook along with your own textbooks as you nodded, “You’re right, it’ll at least take my mind off of it…” 

You could only hope. 

You had spent the last ten minutes trying to gas yourself up, Jungkook had stopped texting around lunch time having obviously given up and giving you space as this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened and he knew if he just gave you time you’d eventually reach out to him. 

Like right now, except you felt severely embarrassed for your actions this morning and you knew you could have handled things in a better and more mature way then you had, regardless you were struggling to even send a text at the moment let alone video call him...Checking the clock on your phone you sighed, it was already 1pm in Seoul....

Jungkook if anything was probably on his computer sulking while playing video games as he usually did on his weekends off when he wasn’t talking to you. Sucking in a breath you knew you needed to talk to him now because if you didn’t you’d have to go the whole week with stale texts that never went over well and you weren’t working with much to begin with, you didn’t want to make it worse. Sighing, you sat down on your bed as you began to type.

[10:25]

‘I’m sorry I haven’t replied to any of your messages :( can you video right now?’

You chewed on your lip anxiety immediately spiking in your head as you wondered if you came across too much like a victim...Or maybe you should’ve just not mentioned the not replying to his messages and just asked if- 

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sound of the skype call sounding with Jungkook’s name under it, grabbing your chest you collapsed onto the bed as you made yourself comfortable, shying away from the camera as you grabbed your pillow in insecurity before accepting the call. 

“I really am sorry Jagi,” You couldn’t even open your mouth before Jungkook’s worried expression showed up on your laptop, the hoodie covering his head and just as you expected his puppy like eyes were glossed and filled with sadness, “I- I didn’t realize how much stress you were under and I shouldn’t have been so careless. This is the only time during the week that I get to see you and I really don’t want to argue…” 

You curled up against your pillow as you mumbled, “I should be the one apologizing, I know how much it means to you for us to be able to see each other in person and I need to make the time for us to be able to do that it’s just…” You had meant to tell him the truth but- “I just have a lot going on right now but I didn’t mean to take that out on you, I know you just want us to be together...” 

“Oh jagiya,” Jungkook sighed, longing filled his face and his fingers twitched a little as they ran through his hair as if wishing he could just hold you close to him, “It’s okay, I’m just glad you wanted to talk. I didn’t want the whole week to drag by without being able to talk to you, you know you always make my day better…” 

And just like that your chest blossomed with warmth as you curled up, hiding the smile that began to creep on your lips as you squeezed your pillow, “Not as much as you make my day. Especially when you send those tease pictures for me right before I need to go to bed.” You would never get enough of that addictive feeling of talking to Jungkook, his smile was always infectious.

And just like that you watch, just like every other time, in amazement at the way Jungkook’s personality switches like a light, the innocent sweet smile that was once on his lips is suddenly twisted into a cocky smirk and he leans back his chair, his long hair is slightly messy but just enough to make him look truly wicked, “Oh? Is that right gongjunim? I thought you’d appreciate it?” 

Said photo in question was sent thursday night when you were prepping for bed and Jungkook had very obviously just gotten out of the shower in the mirror selfie he had sent that displayed the chiseled abdomen and broad chest and not to mention the….ahem package he was sporting beneath the thin towel that he had purposely clutched with his free hand. 

Yeah...that nearly destroyed your right hand. 

“Well I did…” You immediately coiled up, no matter how many times this happens with your boyfriend- which is nearly every weekend, you always end up getting shy despite your thighs furiously pressing together and wetness building up in your panties, “Maybe a little too much…” 

Jungkook pressed his tongue into his cheek as his smirk widened, just his stare made you press your face into the pillow as you heard his chuckle, “What? What did you do?” 

The fact that he skipped to the golden question made you whine as you kicked your feet, you could hear another laugh from him as you curled up once more, “You know…” You mumbled, feeling your face burn as you pressed it against the pillow. 

“No baby I don’t.” Jungkook pouted but his voice rasped and something about saying baby in english with that accent of his had your fingers twitching as he puffed a breath of air in cockiness as he hummed, “Why don’t you tell me hm?” 

Shifting against the bed you shook your head, “You know what I’m talking about…” 

“Do I?” Jungkook challenged as he raised a brow, his beginning to clench as he slipped into his dominant headspace, tucking his tongue into his cheek as he asked, “If you can’t use your words would you rather show me? Be a good girl and show me, yeah?” 

Your words were muffled as you replied, “I had help…” Your face felt like it was practically on fire as you rubbed your legs together as you heard him laugh, “Then be a good girl and go get it jagiya, I’ll still be here.” You gave Jungkook a good laugh as you nearly scrambled out of bed to get your bullet vibrator off it’s charger before diving back on the bed making your laptop bounce as you sat up right. 

Jungkook meanwhile had pulled off his sweatshirt and repositioned his camera to expose his lower body, the familiar sight of his plump cherry lips exposed in that forever tainted smirk as he made himself comfortable in his chair, his thighs spreading apart and the indent in his sweats showing off proudly, “Good girl kitty, now I want you to take off your clothes, all of it.” 

You wiggled in your comfy sweatshirt feeling a little shy as you began to shed your clothes, “The bra too baby,” Jungkook coaxed as he licked his lips, his cock tightening and becoming harder at the sight of your flustered, shy expression as you unhooked your bra, there was nothing more this man wanted then to suckle on your nipples that immediately hardened against the chilled air of the room. 

Jungkook’s hand found its way to his bulge as he palmed himself through his grey sweats, “Panties too baby, I know you’re shy but you need to be a good girl and take them off. And remember your words.” He added with a low growl. 

“...Yes sir.” You mumbled, feeling chilly and exposed to nothing more then the camera on your laptop and Jungkook of course before you pulled off the panties you wore, arousal sticking to the fabric that stringed before you tossed them aside, your eyes unable to stay off his hand that kept stroking his bulge. 

“Good girl,” His lips twitched into a sadistic smile, “Now spread your legs jagiya and show me what you did to that photo I sent you, every little detail baby.” You whined as you looked away from the camera, “Jagiya…” Jungkook’s voice deepened a little in warning, “Are you gonna make me get out the controller?” 

Outwardly you’d completely deny that but inwardly....The idea nearly had you frothing out the mouth, but reluctantly you did as he asked, the chilled air nipping at your exposed warm wet folds had your levels of arousal that much higher and you could hear a soft verbal moan from Jungkook as he squeezed his hand over his cock, “Shibal,” He muttered a few other words in korean that you could only half make out before he spoke once more, “You’re so fucking wet baby. Play with yourself, don’t make me wait.” 

Tenderly you slipped your hand between your thighs, flinching a little at the cold that seeped from your fingers that met in opposition to the heat radiating off your cunt, arousal met your fingertips as you dragged them up you slit before rubbing slow circles around your clit, your lips parting a little at the idea of it being his fingers doing this to you.

Jungkook let out a little scoffed laugh, licking his lips as he pulled down his sweats just enough to free his throbbing cock, a sight you’d never fully get used too and had your mouth watering at just the sight. He was much thicker then he was long but he certainly wasn’t short, the vein on the underside of his cock displayed and you could even see his tip beginning to weep as it became red, “How bad do you wish those were my fingers playing with that little clit baby? Put those fingers inside your cunt baby,lay back and use your toy to make yourself feel good for me.

Situating your laptop before you laidback, opening your legs once more as you began to transition to your subspace as you closed your eyes, imagining his fingers dragging up your inner thighs. 

Letting your eyes open you whined at the sight of lube slipping from his cock as his hand slowly pumped his shaft, his lips parted at the sight of one finger slipping inside your cunt before pulling out and adding a second finger. You could just imagine those long thick fingers filling you up while fitting up against your g-spot. 

Fumbling with your vibrator you turned it on, switching the setting to a low pattern before carefully placing it on your aching bud. You had anticipated your reaction just as you did everytime and yet every time you still jolted, your walls tightly squeezing around your fingers as a whined squeak escaped your lips. 

“Fuck princess that’s it,” Jungkook edged you on, his tongue in his cheek as his hand squeezed around his cock before he used his free hand to grab his own toy, the fleshlight that nearly always turned you into a mess, “Bet that little hole can hardly fit your own fingers let alone my big fat cock, right baby? Yeah?” 

Your thighs were twitching as pleasure was rapidly buzzing against your clit and your walls kept squeezing around your fingers as you desperately tried to reach to your g-spot in need for an orgarsm to make up for all the anxiety and stress you had been under the whole day, “Yes! Yes sir! Ah- Mmph need you! Fuck, please! Sir.” You whimpered as your hips jolted to fuck back against your fingers.

 Jungkook pushes the opening of the flashlight over his tip as he let out a soft moan, his hips fluidly began thrusting to the point your walls were so tight you could hardly move your fingers just at the idea of his cock forcing its way inside you, you just knew this mans stroke game was good and proved it every fucking time he took out that toy.

Watching his cock disappear with every thrust inside his toy as his lips parted a little wider this time, “You want this baby? You wish this was your pussy I’m fucking nice and deep?”

Your body was too excited for all of his dirty talk as you squirmed shifting the buzzing vibrator to the sweet spot of your clit as you squeaked, trying to keep yourself from being too loud as your roommate was home, “Want it! Want it so fucking bad! Please sir! Sir!”

You were embarrassingly horny and this made worked you up every single time, your hips we’re stumbled and your walls were rapidly clenching in excitement as his thick cock rocking it’s way in and out of the toy that you could just imagine was your pussy he was fucking nice and slow, making you feel his nice fat cock with every killer slow thrust.

“Oh Jagiya,” Jungkook moaned out, “Don’t tell me my kitten is already close?” He chuckled as he watched the way your body withered the way it always did when you were close, his eyes feasting on the way your pussy was stretched so delicately against your small fingers and the way your thighs clenched and your feet kicked, “Do you need to cum so soon?” 

“Please! Please! Sir! I- I don’t think I can-“ Your thighs clamped together as your lips fell open, unable to even wait for his blessing as your orgasm ripped through your body, your toes curling as little whimpers escaped you, you could hear a long moan from Jungkook as you liddedly watched his hips stumble against his flesh light, hand running through his hair while he fumbled something in Korean. 

“Baby fuuck,” Jungkook’s voice lowered as he moaned, “Cum again princess, cum for me baby I wanna hear you make those noises again for me. Keep those little fingers stuffed inside yourself.” Jungkook’s hips kept stuttering against his toy, his cock throbbing desperate as his moans became breathy at the sight of you obeying him. You were always such a good girl.

Your fingers were aching but your desire to watch him come undone was even greater as you began pushing your fingers back against your g-spot once more, feathery whines escaping you at the feeling of pain beginning to mix with pleasure at the consistent thrum of the vibrator against your clit.

“Ah! S-sir…!” You whimpered quietly as your walls suddenly clamped around your fingers once more, “I- ah! I don’t think I can…!” 

“Yes you can,” Jungkook growled his hips bucking up into his toys faster his cock throbbing and squeezing in pleasure at the sight of your arousal slipping from your soaked cunt and the sight of your tits bouncing at the way your body kept squirming, he could only imagine what it would be like fucking you tied up and left to his mercy, “And you will,” He snapped with command, “You’re gonna be a good girl and cum for me again princess. I wasn’t fucking asking.” 

Your legs immediately twitched and your breath hitched as you cried out, your back arching at the way your body listened to him so easily on command, your walls tightening around your fingers rapidly and pleasure seered into your clit as the orgasm roughly filled your body, “Ah Jungkook! Fuck, fuck, fuck…! Fuck! Ooh!” Moans escaped you louder then you intended as your hips desperately fucked into your fingers to ride the powerful orgasm you experienced.

Jungkook moaned softly as his hips bucked one last time into his toy before cum was filling it up at the idea of milking all of himself in your little warm cunt, letting his hips swivel as he milked every last drop of cum from his cock as he moaned before relaxing back in his chair.

Chuckling a little at watching your lower body scramble at your vibrator continuing to drill against your over stimulated clit as you struggled to turn it off, “Take your fingers out baby, I wanna see them.” Jungkook licked his lips as you obeyed him, pulling your fingers from your cunt to reveal the thick layer of arousal and cum on them nearly making Jungkook’s mouth water with the desire to lick every drop off your fingers, this man couldn’t even describe what he’d do to go down on you.

“Ah fuck, jagiya,” Jungkook laughed, a little flustered at the way you sat up, looking directly into the camera before putting your fingers in your mouth, licking off the salty and somewhat musky taste of your arousal which in your opinion wasn’t that great and Jungkook would never accept your opinion on the matter, “You’re gonna make me hard all over again.” He whined as he carefully pulled the toy off his cock, feeling the white substance already rolling down his softening shaft to reveal the mess he had made.

You giggled a little, feeling shy once more as you stood up with wobbling legs, “I don’t have to help with that.” You called out, grabbing your favorite sweatshirt to pull over your body. It was your favorite because...Well because Jungkook had sent it to you and because it was big on him it was massive on you. 

You absolutely adored it, coming back in view you collapsed onto your bed as you curled up, Jungkook had just finished cleaning himself up, fixing his camera for you to see the beautiful radiant smile and eyes light up that was your boyfriend. He always had that dreamy look in his eyes while looking at you everytime you finished having Skype sex and everytime it always made you shy as you grabbed your pillow and curled up.

“You’re always so fucking good baby,” He groaned as he ran a hand through his hair, his smile permanently on his face as he stared in adoration at your curled up figure that was practically buried in his sweatshirt, “Mmm you were such a good girl too, your eyes were rolling to the back of your head when I told you to cum again.” 

He had a boyish laugh at the way you curled up, “Stoop! You know I was already overstimulated, you better hope my roommate didn’t hear anything…!” You covered your face in embarrassment at the realization you were a little loud.

Jungkook’s face stiffened a little at the mention of your roommate before he tried to play it off with a small laugh, “Yeah well, what’s he gonna do about it anyways? You were just being my good little girl jagiya.” You covered your face in semi embarrassment. You knew Jungkook was redirecting the conversation back to verbal aftercare because you knew he didn’t like the fact that your roommate was a guy who was not only your age but also very attractive. 

It wasn’t like Taehyung was ever interested in you, but you had mentioned to Jungkook when you first started talking that you used to have a crush on him. You felt as though some days that still lingered in Jungkook’s mind despite the fact that you didn’t even look at Taehyung twice anymore.

Especially since you and Jungkook became an item, however you also hadn’t told Jungkook that Taehyung had been...Well you weren’t sure what he was doing to be honest outside a few innuendos and winks. It mainly weirded you out as he had never paid any attention to you but regardless. This wasn’t about your roommate, this was about your amazing, handsome boyfriend who somehow managed to make you cum twice just by the sound of his voice, not everything could do that.

“You make it difficult to try and disobey.” You mumbled as a smile tugged in your lips, closing your eyes at the idea of his arms wrapped tight around you and his forehead pressed against your own, you could almost feel his warm breath against your face and his lips pressing against your forehead.

“Mmm id like to see you try,” Jungkook laughed as he leaned back his seat, letting out a content sigh as he spoke, “I’d make you wear those vibrating panties the whole day after making you overestimate yourself and I’d make sure to wake up every hour just to hold that button for three minutes straight.” 

“You’re so mean!” You whines as you fluttered your feet before crawling under your covers as you yawned, “You’re already planning a punishment when I haven’t even done anything wrong.” 

“I’m not!” Jungkook laughed as he objected, moving his hair from his face, “I’m just telling you what would’ve happened if you weren’t obedient. I mean, that’s not always a bad thing baby.” He sent a wink your way that immediately made your cheeks warm as you pressed your face against the blanket with a giggle.

“I can’t do that over a video call…! Maybe if you were here in my bed I’d be a little more defiant.” You always had a hard time trying to flirt confidently but Jungkook always ate it up every single time you threw him a crumb.

“Jagiya if you can’t be defiant over a call what makes you think you’d manage it when I’m between your legs sucking the soul out of your pussy?” Jungkook was immediately cackling at the way you shoved your face into your pillow with a whine, “Exactly baby, you can’t even look at me right now.” He cooed out.

“Well maybe I’m just a little more bold in person.” You challenged, peeping out from behind your pillow making Jungkook chuckle as he shook his head, his eyes filled with adoration as he leaned back in his seat.

“Well sweetheart I’ll just have to see for myself one day huh?” Jungkook’s smile was so beautiful, it was arguably one of your favorite features as he spoke, “You know I love you to the moon and back jagiya.”

“Well I love you love you to the stars and beyond,” You whispered back as you hugged your pillow close, closing your eyes sleepily as you smiled….One day...Hopefully you’d overcome your anxiety soon to make the one day become soon, you weren’t sure how much longer you could stand being apart from the one person who would never stop making your day.

#bts #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader smut #ldr!jungkook

[jjmaybanksbaby]

Where It Leads (Rafe Cameron)

Summer IV

Part 07: Crashing Down

series masterlist | previous part

summary: A jarring family emergency forces you to consider the future of your relationship with Rafe Cameron.

a/n: I'm a little bit emotional about this series ending because I've had so much fun writing it! Enjoy the last part and, as always, please come share your reactions with me in my inbox. Okay, that's all from me!

word count: 2.1k words

Rafe Cameron knew how to text. He was somehow witty, charming, and hilarious all in less characters than a single tweet. Texting with most boys was like talking to a brick wall: single-syllable answers, unironic uses of punctuation, asking “What are you wearing?” before even listening to how your day went. Though, to be fair, Rafe had asked that same question a few times, which always earned him a sarcastic answer in return. Well, except for that one time.

You’d been forced to spill the beans about your dreamy summer romance to Alice and Kensie after one of Rafe’s funnier texts almost made you pee yourself laughing at the lunch table.

“Oh, so he’s a stud muffin,” Alice announced, peering over Kenzie’s shoulder at the photo on your phone.

“Please god don’t call anyone a stud muffin ever again Al,” Kenzie replied.

“What? The 80s are like making a comeback.”

“Yeah, not that,” you countered and Alice huffed.

“He’s totally hot though,” Kenzie said, handing the phone back to you. “And I kinda hate you for not telling us about him.”

You looked down at the picture. Rafe was kissing your check while you grinned up at the camera, the golden hour lighting made the whole thing look rather enchanting. It was your favorite picture of you and him.

“Oh shit,” Kenzie said causing you to look up from the phone. “You’re like in love in love with him.”

“What? No,” you protested. Yes, your brain corrected.

Kenzie glanced over at Alice for backup.

“Besides, I wasn’t hiding him. I just didn’t know if there was anything there to...tell,” you finished.

“I wish I had a handsome summer fling with spectacular cheekbones,” Alice sighed.

“Don’t let your boyfriend hear you saying that.” Kenzie chucked a fry off her tray at Alice who dodged it expertly.

“Oh, please. Matty knows I would dump his ass for someone who looks like a young Chuck Bass any day of the week. Gimme your phone. I wanna see the photos again y/n.”

“I seriously don’t know how you and Matthew have been together for two years,” Kenzie replied.

“Are you kidding? They’re practically made for each other,” you added.

“The phone, please,” Alice interjected. “I wanna thirst over your mans while my boyfriend is sucking up to his English teacher so she doesn’t fail him. Of course, I told him he needed to actually read Wuthering Heights and not just sparknotes it. But did he listen? No. I picked a real winner y’all,” she finished, taking the phone from your outstretched hands. “You sure Rafe doesn’t have any brothers? Not even like a half-step brother?”

So yeah, going great. Against the odds of three thousand miles, the whole thing was somehow working. Long-distance friends with benefits? Check. Well, except for those moments when that nagging feeling in your stomach came back and you’d start overthinking everything. His texts would sit, unread in your phone for days or even a whole week, slowly sinking to the bottom of your messages.

Then came the call from the Kildare Country Hospital in the early hours of a foggy April morning. You should have gone to sleep hours ago but were still up, desperately trying to cram Maria’s lines into your brain while also texting Rafe. The Sound of Music opened in three weeks and your director had already chewed you out twice for not being off-book, something about being an upperclassman and the lead, and what kind of an example were you setting for the rest of the program. Big speeches were kind of your director's thing, you learned to just ride them out.

Around 1 a.m. your phone ran with an incoming FaceTime call from Rafe. You pressed the green acccept button, a smile spread across your face as Rafe’s own filled the screen.

“Hey Broadway Star.”

“Hi Rafe.” The dim lighting of his bedroom made his feature especially striking. “What are you still doing up?”

“Can’t sleep. Plus you’re up too so. How’s the memorizing going?”

“Shitty,” you replied, closing your binder with a sigh. “I’m too tired to do anymore of it tonight anyway.”

“You know, I was thinking I could come to Oregon for your opening night?”

“Really?” The possibility of Rafe sitting in the audience made your heart race.

“Yeah, why not? I’ll ask Ward if I can borrow the plane that weekend and I bet Sarah’ll want to come too. I wanna see my girl kill it. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Rafe. You know my friends think you’re hot.”

“Oh, do they?” Rafe replied, rolling over onto his back in his bed.

“Don’t let it get to your head, Cameron.”

The home phone ran but you ignored it, much more invested in your conversation with Rafe. The second time the hospital left a message. Your Nonna’s heart had given out. The prognosis wasn’t good. She had barely any time left.

Your heart dropped as the words echoed over the speaker of the answering machine.

“Rafe,” you said, cutting him off momentarily. “I gotta go. I’ll call you back later. I gotta-” you ended the call before Rafe even had the chance to respond. You dropped your phone on the kitchen table, dashing up the stairs to your parents’ bedroom. Your father was booking a flight for your mother back to the Outer Banks minutes later.

The end had come so quickly, so unexpectedly. It was almost like that made it harder. There'd been just enough time for your mom and uncle to get to the Outer Banks, sitting on each side of your Nonna as her final breaths passed through her lungs. Now, everyone was there to say goodbye one last time. Uncle Austin and his fiancé. Your mom and dad. Both your siblings. The entire population of Figure Eight.

☼☼☼

Rain drizzled down from the dark, gray clouds looming overhead. It was as if Mother Nature was mourning your Nonna too, hiding the sunshine away.

Three baby ducks followed their mama into the man-made pond at the edge of the cemetery. You watched their tiny feet kick up small waves disturbing the peaceful water and the tears silently slipped down your face.

The cars were waiting to take you back to your Nonna's house for the wake. The same house with the for-sale sign now stuck in the front yard. The for-sale sign with Rose's patronizing grin that you were starting to really hate. Your dad had handled that. Listing the house. He'd handled most of the funeral arrangement's actually because your mother had been too sunken into her grief to make any decision. Sending out the invitations, picking out your Nonna's casket, choosing the flowers. Your mother clung to him during the entire funeral, weeping into his shoulder.

“Y/n?” Rafe's voice called out from behind you and you turned to see him walked toward you. He’d stood at the back of the church with his family during the funeral. You had longed for him to be sitting in the first pew next to you, to have had his hand to hold onto to ground you, but it hardly would have been appropriate. Your Nonna would have sooner risen from the dead than have had a Cameron front row at her funeral.

As soon as he was close enough, Rafe reached for you, pulling your body tight into him. Your head landed on his chest and the sobs came moments later. God, he always smelled the same. He just let you cry, holding you close, smoothing his hand over your hair.

“I know you’re selling your grandma’s house but I was thinking you could stay with me for the summer," he said as your tears began to slow. It was hard to imagine that you wouldn't return to the Outer Banks once school let out. It was the first week of May already and you could feel the tourist-attracting town waking up. But selling the house just made more sense. Your older sister was already living her life in New York, a real adult life. Next summer, you'd be moving out too, headed to college. The house would sit empty for eight months out of the year, your family couldn't keep it and your uncle certainly didn’t want it. Selling it just had to happen.

You stepped back, slipping out of his embrace. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Rafe.”

“Why not?”

“Cause we’re like Romeo and Juliet.”

“I copied Cleo’s notes for that unit," he joked, trying to lighten to damp mood. “Plus I was never a fan of Leo DiCaprio so I didn’t finish the movie either.”

“It means we’re not supposed to be together, you and me. And whenever we try, the universe rips us apart. We hurt each other.”

Rafe shifted awkwardly on his feet, clearly wanting to reach for you again but stopping himself from doing it. “But I can't lose you.”

You reached your hand out, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. “Oh Rafe, don’t you get it? You never really had me.” You stood up onto your tiptoes to kiss him just like you had the first time three years ago. Rafe barely parted his lips, kissing you back gently. Your hand cupped his face, your thump stroking over his cheek. It was a goodbye. Both of you knew it. It was an ending and this was your closure. You pulled away, your hand falling away from his face.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say the actual words. Your eyes fell to the ground. You needed to walk away now. You side-stepped Rafe but he grabbed your waist, turning you back around to face him.

“So that’s it? You’re not even gonna try to fight for us?”

“What even is there to fight for, Rafe? I’ve been fighting for us for the past four years. If we were supposed to be together that car wouldn’t have crashed into ours, I wouldn’t have fallen for Evan when I did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation at my Nonna’s funeral. What? Are we supposed to do long distance for all of college? I hardly know who I am right now. I have no idea who I’ll be in the next four years. Our future selves might not even like each other. I’m not gonna wait around for you Rafe and I would never ask you to do that for me.” You twirled the small, star charm between your fingers, a nervous habit you'd developed over the past year. His eyes dropped down to your neck momentarily and his adam's apple visibly bobbing as he swallowed his next weeks.

“You were it for me, you know. I tried to give a fuck about anyone else but I couldn’t get your gorgeous, stupid face out of my mind. I only wanted you.” Rafe paused gauging your reaction “I was falling in love with you.”

Your eyes wandered over his stoic expression. “The feeling was mutual, Rafe Cameron.”

He dropped your wrist but you both stood, not moving or saying anything. “Do you wanna walk me back to the car?”

“Yeah.” He reached for your hand, interlocking your fingers. Your other hand held onto his bicep so you walked together through the graveyard back to the parking lot.

The moment felt precious and delicate, like the fragile china your Nonna used to collect. You wondered what would happen to all that china.

Rafe placed a chaste kiss on your lips before opening the door of the car.

“I’ll miss you,” you said, the words hanging in the air meaning so much.

“Me too,” Rafe agreed.

You wanted one more kiss, one more passionate declaration of how much this all had meant but that would make leaving Rafe so much more impossible.

You climbed into the car, dropping Rafe’s hand in the process.

“See you around Cameron.” You knew it wouldn’t happen but it felt better than a goodbye.

He smiled back. “Maybe so.”

Perhaps Rafe was right and you’d both end up at a small liberal arts college in California taking the same second-year Econ class with a professor who always smelled like weed. Perhaps the stars would align and two of you would realize the universe wasn’t trying to keep you apart. It was just waiting for the right moment to show you that the love you had for each other was the soulmates, forever and ever kind of love. Perhaps you would get married and Sarah would be your maid of honor, of course. You’d buy back your Nonna’s house to raise your troubling-making kids in. Perhaps, you would find your way back and wake up each day and choose each other again and again.

Or perhaps, he'd always be your right-person-wrong-time. And, in the end, the passing days will steal away your memories of the blue-eyed boy from the Outer Banks.

taglist! @oreoenthusiast13

#outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron series #obx netflix #obx #obx fanfic #where it leads series #where it leads

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 07 part two

(Masterpost)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Lantern Lighting

Now we have the famous lantern scene, where everybody gets to express their character and have dates, ranging from disastrous to delightful, with the objects of their affection. 

Wei Wuxian continues to be ridiculously good at drawing. 

We’ve all seen Lan Wangji’s lovely first smile in the show a million times, so...let’s look at it again!

This scene is important not just because of the smile, but because there’s a distinct shift in the way they talk about their growing relationship. In the pond, it was “come visit me” and “never!” “I want to be your friend” “No need.” Basically Lan Wangji firmly saying no to Wei Wuxian’s offers of friendship.

This time, Wei Wuxian says “let’s do this together” and Lan Wangji says “I’m used to being alone,” which is not actually a No, just an explanation. And WWX says, you can change that. And then Lan Wangji DOES change it, sharing the lantern and the promise with Wei Wuxian.

Whoever painted this flower is even better than Wei Wuxian at plein air painting. 

(more after the cut!)

Everybody’s wishes

Nie Huasang makes a practical wish. Wen Qing prays for her brother and Jiang Cheng notices how she’s like Yanli. Jiang Cheng isn’t very intense about Wen Qing, which could be a sign of his shyness but could also be a sign of his gayness or aceness. After all, later in life he’s an apparently wealthy clan leader who is hot as fuck, and needs an heir, since his nephew is a Jin. But he’s still not married, 16 years after breaking up with and uh, helping to kill and cremate, the girl he liked in summer school.

The Promise We Made Together

Wei Wuxian makes an ultra-idealistic wish/promise while Lan Wangji watches and falls the rest of the way in love with him, and silently makes the same pledge inside his head. Later they will each refer to this as a promise they made together, which is a really super high level of face-reading by Wei Wuxian, to understand that he really is speaking for both of them here.  While making this promise, Lan Wangji brings out his Yin Iron Magic Bag and waves it around in front of everyone, but nobody notices. 

Let’s take a moment to consider *why* this moment is so powerful for Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji is a boy whose emotions are always on the boil. He’s 100% upset all the time, at this age, and he keeps it clamped down all the time. His cultivation level is probably as high as it is partly because of all the work he does in emotion regulation. (note: if you haven’t read all the meta at @howpeacefulislwj​ , go read it; it’s awesome and hilarious)

Wei Wuxian doesn’t GAF about emotion regulation; he just expresses what he feels, all the damn time. 

He is openly bored, lusty, playful, hungry, whiny. He straight up tells Lan Wangji “you’re boring and you have a stick up your ass” as part of saying he wants to be friends; no deference and also no falseness.  

And he can see right through Lan Wangji’s reserve, barging into his loneliness and isolation without any regard for all of his wards. Wards are made to be broken.

(Unrelated note: Young Lan Wangji's rare moments of contentment seem to come from looking at something beautiful--the moon, falling petals, these lanterns, his mirror.)

But Wei Wuxian is also good. Lan Wangji desperately wants to be good. And here’s Wei Wuxian embodying this awful, amazing, tempting alternative path, in which all the interesting things in life get explored thoroughly, all the sweetness and beauty gets consumed unreservedly, all the pain and ugliness gets confronted and endured without hesitation. 

In this moment, Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji “you can change,” and then offers up this prayer/promise that is just pure chivarly, speaking straight to Lan Wangji’s heart. Very simply, I want to spend my life doing right. Not 3500 rules; just one.

This infuriating boy, who breaks rules and who flirts indiscriminately and who pushes and pushes and pushes, reveals himself in this moment to be a hero at the beginning of his journey, and Lan Wangji sees it, and his heart goes right over the cliff.

The Girls’ Room

The girl cultivators all rush over to Yanli to get in her business about her betrothal, inspiring Jin Zixuan to act like a jerk to her and get even further onto Wei Wuxian’s bad side. 

Talk Shit, Get Hit

Yanli’s wish was that Wei Wuxian would grow up and be good. He promptly launches his own personal Sunshot campaign, punching her fiancee so hard that the sun falls out of the sky and the previously well-lit scene transitions to full night.

So, in English, “don’t mention it again” is really mild, akin to “I don’t want to talk about it.” Wei Wuxian’s reaction makes it seem like Jin Zixuan said something really shitty, like “don’t you dare mention that woman to me!” So I’m assuming something is being lost in translation. 

Lan Wangji tries to calm him down. He grabs Wei Wuxian’s sexy arm muscle and basically holds it until the Jiangs exit the scene. 

Nie Huaisang has placed himself between the opposing factions, which is unusually direct of him. In the future he’ll stick to being an unindicted co-conspirator when Wei Wuxian starts trouble. 

Ants in my Pants

Lan Wangji thinks kneeling can make Wei Wuxian cry, which is adorable of him. 

He really relishes this opportunity to be a pedantic tool to his new boyfriend that annoying boy he hardly ever touches, and it really doesn’t work out for him, poor lamb.

Jiang Fengmian stops by to show exactly how deep his affection for Wei Wuxian runs, and to give him whiplash from constantly changing parental expectations. In a couple of hours he’ll be laughing over WWX & JC’s hijinks.

Wei Wuxian takes this opportunity to fantasize about bad things happening to the other boy in the fight, which is in no way foreshadowing of anything.

Douche Dads Conference

We now convene this meeting of the douchebag council. Jiang Cheng is also invited even though he’s a prick, not a douche. <--important distinction

This is our first time meeting Clan Leader Jin Guangshan. He's actually the most sensible and best parent in this scene, but his smug self-satisfaction hints at his true nature. This actor, Shen Xiaohai, has been active in cdramas for a long while now. I wonder what he looked like 15 years ago?

...Holy mother of god.

Jiang Fengmian is the worst dad and the worst husband here. His clan believes in letting children do what they want - uhh YOUR child wants to marry Jin Zixuan. “I wrote a letter to her mother, who arranged this marriage.” Uhhh she arranged for her sickly, low-cultivation-level, sweet and vulnerable child to marry the heir of a rich and powerful clan, with a powerful mother-in-law who’s looking forward to loving and protecting her. Basically she’s guaranteed her daughter’s safety and comfort, and even potential happiness, since her husband may learn to appreciate her (and in fact, does, thanks to soup and repeated beatings from WWX).

Mom worked hard and probably spent a fair amount of social capital to achieve this. And you’re going to toss that aside because the boy thinks he’s too good for her? What the everloving fuck, how are you a clan leader in the first place? 

You can see that Jiang Cheng understands all of this and what a terrible choice his father is making here. 

So do the other adults in the room.

Jin Guangshen: our wives are going to kill us

Lan Qiren: I'm looking at a couple of dead men

Jiang Fengmian pointedly won’t listen to Jiang Cheng or let him speak, showing that all his talk about being free is actually bullshit, that only applies to other people’s children.

Jiang Chang vaults off of the deck to tell Wei Wuxian about it. Hottt

Sorry Sis

Wei Wuxian goes to Jiang Yanli to sorta-apologize and sorta ask to be let off the hook for fucking up her engagement, which he absolutely did. He knows it, which is presumably why he bows to her in paperman form while hiding outside.

At no time has Jiang Yanli indicated to anyone that she doesn’t want to marry Jin Zixuan, as far as I can see, or said she wanted to be defended from insults with punching. Look how good SHE is at defending a person from insults, for comparison.

Yin Iron Blah Blah Blah

The senior Lans meet with Jiang Fengmian  to talk about the Yawn Yin Iron. Yawn. 

Jiang Fengmian addresses Lan Xichen as Lan Gongzi, which is adorable, since he is a big boy to everyone else. His family calls him Xichen and other people call him Zewu-Jun.

Farewell and Fuck You

The three Jiang kids come to say goodbye.

Lan Quiren says goodbye with a heap of criticism for Wei Wuxian and the horse he rode in on, and Jiang Fengmian basically says, yep, that’s what he’s like, all right.  

Good thing Wei Ying gets so much verbal abuse at home he doesn’t take it very hard when he finds it in the field. 

Wangji doesn’t say goodbye properly, which will be a recurring theme for the two of them.

I don’t know if this is because he has a problem with goodbyes, or is just being a jerk, or because he’s so bad at lying he doesn’t dare talk to Wei Wuxian lest he reveal his travel plans. 

Indulgent Dad Continues to be the Worst

Jiang Cheng complains at Wei Wuxian for wanting to say goodbye to Lan Wangji, and WWX says he likes him because he is equal to WWX in fighting, whereas JC sucks. JC hits him tries to hit him--gosh, he DOES suck, comparatively. 

Yanli, who has been keeping these boys in line all summer, sighs deeply at her Dad’s tolerance for their hijinks. OP has five brothers and this sibling-hijinks behavior is 100% accurate, except for the part where it is happening at someone else’s house in front of the hosts. 

WWX pretending to be Lan Qiren where Lan Wangji can see him doing it, in front of Lan Qiren’s colleague and supposed friend, and just earning a laugh from the patriarch? Good lord.  Dad Jiang tolerating this is shocking, particularly in the in-show culture where corporal punishment is as common as tea. 

We’ve tried Nothing, and we’re all out of ideas!

Uggghh why are you like this?

Here in the real world, OP uses “positive discipline” with her child, and encourages other parents to consider it, particularly if your child is neuroatypical or asynchronous.  That said, JF should be punishing the crap out of both boys for this behavior every time it happens, or should quit being a clan leader.  He’s relying on Jiang Yanli to keep them in line while he gets to just be amused by them. And he’s letting Lan Qiren discipline Wei Wuxian instead of doing it himself. He suuuuuuucks. 

Lan Wangji watches all of this. Lan Xichen reminds Lan Wangji that without Wei Wuxian, he’s completely fucking miserable. Lan Wangji still doesn’t plan to bring him along on his trip, though.

Time to return to our lives of crushing loneliness

Rabbits

At this same moment when Lan Wangji is staring down the barrel of future loneliness, Wei Wuxian is already deciding to leave the (forbidden) rabbits in Cloud Recesses “In case Lan Zhan gets lonely.”  This small decision by Wei Wuxian - breaking the rules of Cloud Recesses for the millionth time - is kinder than he knows. Because what is the job of these rabbits? Let’s have a desaturated flashback. 

Lan Zhan spent 3 years in the ice cave. The rabbits kept Lan Yi company in the ice cave. So...did the rabbits sneak in to keep Lan Wangji company in the ice cave as well? I’m going to say yes. By ep 43 they are following him to the gate of Cloud Recesses so they are very attached to him.  Well done, Wei Ying.

Where my bitches at? Seriously, our warren needs bitches

(Is Watership Down still a thing people read? If not, just go ahead and assume all of OP’s rabbit jokes are about Watership Down because OP ain’t going to stop making them)

While Wei Wuxian annoys the bunny he has a flashback to the scene that happened 4 minutes earlier. The Untamed editors assume the viewership has the attention span of a goldfish, and I personally appreciate that they understand me so well.

Wei Wuxian figures out that Lan Wangji is going on the road alone, and tells the bunny immediately. The bunny is very concerned.

Writing Prompt: What do next-generation cultivators Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi wish for at lantern-lighting time?

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #wangxian #the untamed gifs #cdrama #chen qing ling #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #my gifs #the untamed spoilers

[dinosaurtsukki]

haikyuu!! characters + dating the Eldest Sister in a POC family

(feat. kageyama, tsukishima, kuroo, akaashi, iwaizumi, osamu, kita, semi)

okay i know this is super specific but if you were the eldest sister in a poc (or non-western/non-white family since poc is a very western term) family, you probably had to be second-mom to your siblings, manage the household, and even help out at the places where your parents worked. i kind of just like the idea of the boys dating this kind of girl and helping out however they can (as someone who would like to be taken care of for a change). not all experiences are the same so i tried to capture a number of ones that i’m familiar with 

kageyama:

i feel like he lowkey hates being the younger brother because he keeps being ordered around by his older sister

one time he was complaining to you about how much his sister would order him around and you were like 'maybe she just has a lot on her plate?'

and he didn't really get what you mean until he came over to your house to study

you had two other, much younger siblings that you had to pick up from school on the way home. once you got home your parents were also busy so you had to help your siblings with their homework and then cook dinner on top of all the schoolwork that you did

you guys were always hanging out in the living room instead of your bedroom so that you could always keep an eye on your siblings.

kageyama realized just how much work you were doing and also how patient you were with having to tutor not only him but your siblings as well

this boy actually felt sorry for miwa when he came home to her making dinner that he immediately offered to wash the dishes every night. 

there was this one time you were out shopping with your siblings and then you bumped into your boyfriend and miwa. kageyama (tobio) introduced you to each other and miwa took an instant liking to you because you had that Eldest Sister Connection

kageyama actually likes being a bit of an older brother to your siblings and seeing the smile on your face when he offers to help. he'll sit with your siblings in front of the TV so that you could take care of dinner and do your own homework

he’s a bit awkward at first interacting with kids. your youngest sister told him that his hair looked weird and kageyama was like ‘so does yours’ and she cried to you

you had to have a long discussion with your boyfriend after that

he probably remembers how his sister used to entertain him so kageyama would definitely play games with your siblings, probably even teach them volleyball

when one of the windows in your house breaks you know who to blame

tsukishima:

okay this guy was also severely doted on, i mean have you seen his brother?

although he's generally quite independent i bet akiteru spoiled him more than miwa did kageyama

he kind of noticed that you were always late and managed to forget at least one thing at home every day and thought it was just you being careless at first

that was until he saw you running errands on the week dragging your younger brother with you and felt bad especially after watching you apologize to a store owner for your brother knocking over a shop display

whenever he’d come over to your house for study dates, you two would always be interrupted by your little brother walking in and asking for homework help. sometimes you’d give good advice, but you had your own limitations

tsukki will be snickering watching you struggle to explain math to your brother and then you get frustrated and toss your brother’s textbook at him

‘you do it then’ you pout. and tsukki’s just like ‘sure fine.’

he’s so much better at explaining stuff your brother loves him instantly. he’ll always ask if ‘tsukki’s coming to help him with math’ and as much as you wish you were better than your boyfriend at math, you love that tsukishima can bond with your brother that way

tsukishima’s also taken a liking to your younger brother. sometimes he’ll ruffle his hair playfully when he’d get something right, like what akiteru would do to him

thanks to that you have a bit more time to sleep in the afternoons. sometimes tsukki would tutor your brother in his room and then pass by your room to put a blanket over you while you nap on your bed.

oh my god but with you gone, your brother spills all of your embarrassing secrets to tsukki like the picture of him that you keep in your drawer and how you squealed and ran around the living room the first time he walked you home

tsukki teases you endlessly about it but don’t worry he’s super soft too

kuroo:

since he’s an only child who lives with his grandparents and dad, i feel like he always wanted younger siblings? that’s partly why he’s so overprotective and doting around kenma because sometimes he imagines him as his younger brother

therefore he was so excited when you finally agreed to let him meet your two younger sisters. however, the reason why you didn’t want them to meet kuroo yet was because your sisters were basically little devils

kuroo comes to your house, bringing some sweets for you guys to eat, and your second-youngest sister just looks at him and says ‘are you sure you want to date that’ while pointing at you

kuroo is caught off-guard even when you chase your sister around the house. and then he meets your youngest sister who spills that you have a picture of him in your room that you kiss every night before bed.

the three of you fight a lot and kuroo ends up having to mediate for all of you. but he thinks its cute that at the end of the day you’ll still make them dinner and your sisters will try to help clean up

he’s just as invested in taking care of your sisters though. like, he’ll ask about how they and what they’re doing. since your parents are both busy, you and kuroo go to all of your sisters’ recitals and school projects

its so cute though kuroo videoed your entire youngest sister’s ballet recital and high-fived her after

he also gives your second-youngest sister dating advice and warning her about what guys she should stay away from

overall the best boyfriend. even your parents love him for helping you take care of your sisters

akaashi:

as the eldest daughter and child in your family, your parents put a lot of pressure on you to focus on both your studies and taking care of your baby sister. and they made it clear that they didn’t want you to date anyone until you’ve finished college

and it’s not like you had plans to date anyone until akaashi came into the picture and he kind of became a break from the stress you’ve been experiencing. plus, he was always super understanding when you didn’t have time for him

you kind of dated in secret for a while. akaashi got used to climbing out of your window whenever your parents came home he’s surprisingly good at it

and then you felt sorry for having to subject him to that so you decided to let akaashi meet your parents once and for all

at first they were very disappointed in you but you begged them to invite akaashi over for dinner and so they did, fully expecting to point out that you couldn’t make time for him and your responsibilities

and then they were absolutely blown away by akaashi’s sheer perfection. he was also super responsible and did good at his studies. he washed the dishes after dinner and even managed to calm your baby sister down when she had a tantrum

your parents found nothing wrong and gladly approved of you guys dating. 

and boy do they LOVE akaashi. your mom even makes you bring him food that she made or containers of sliced fruit

akaashi, after receiving his fifth container of sliced apples for the week: i guess i didn’t have to climb out of windows for three months

iwaizumi:

the two of you met at university when iwaizumi was studying abroad in california. your parents had immigrated there while you were still young and the two of you got along really well

both of your parents managed a store and didn’t make much money but just enough for you to be able to go to university. you also had a scholarship and felt a lot of pressure to graduate early, get a job, and help your family

iwaizumi knew the kind of pressure you were under and tried to help you as much as he could. he’s an awesome listener and you’d share your stories about having to help your parents learn english and working at the store when you were just five years old

you also have to do things like manage the deliveries to your parents’ store which interrupts your schoolwork sometimes

iwaizumi actually once took over your delivery management duty and carried three boxes of canned goods from your supplier to your store and you cried and thanked him for it

your parents love that about him (lowkey always ask about whether he’s going to pass by so that he can help out with deliveries)

your mom: where’s that good-looking, strong fellow you’re always with who’s good at carrying stuff? 

you: you mean my boyfriend?

they give him lots of food though iwa no longer needs to buy or cook for himself

he also loves your siblings, both of whom are still in grade school and always greet you and iwa when you come home for the weekend

he loves your big family and they eventually see him as a part of it (your parents already have the marriage documents ready for you two)

osamu: 

the first time he met you was at a diner when he was still in grade school and so were you, except your were also practically the waitress at that diner since your family owned it 

in asian families: children = free labor

the food at the diner was delicious but osamu also found himself distracted by watching you expertly clean tables and call out orders

you also went to the same school as him and the two of you eventually became friends (osamu hung around you at first because your parents fed him and he liked your food)

when you were in high school, you were no longer the only child in the family with two younger brothers

osamu knew you kind of struggled with having to balance your sisterly duties, helping out at the diner, and your schoolwork so he volunteered to help out at the diner

your parents were lowkey like ‘but,, we have to pay him’ and you convinced them that you needed an extra pair of hands anyway

that’s how you two eventually got closer. osamu noticed how hardworking you were taking orders and feeding your brothers dinner, even during the busiest time at the diner

once you guys got together you had very little time to date so you made the most out of the downtime hours at the diner. you’d eat dinner together every saturday night after hours and laugh and talk about stuff while washing dishes

osamu would also take over your shifts when he knew you were especially busy, sometimes he’d even amuse your brothers by making them play the ‘see who can sit still longer in the corner’ game during work hours

or he’d just get atsumu to watch over your brothers (atsumu loves it)

kita: 

as the eldest daughter in your family, you not only had to take care of your younger brother and sister, but your grandparents who lived in your house too

after you and kita got together in university, you had to tell him that you were a super busy person and you barely had time to date since you were taking care of your siblings and grandparents

you knew kita would understand completely but you didn’t expect him to offer to help you out

before you knew it, kita was showing up at your house every day with shopping ingredients for dinner. you tried to tell him that he didn’t need to do that but too late, your man is already putting on your apron and chopping onions

you smile gratefully at him before leaving to break up your younger siblings’ fight 

kita knows you love your grandparents very much and he’s very close with his own grandmother so he likes to take care of them too

after dinner, he’ll sit with them at the dining table and peel oranges for them, listening intently to their stories even though they forget that they’ve been retelling the same ones

i feel like he’s an only child so he’s a bit awkward around your siblings at first and then realize that they’re just like atsumu and osamu

kita will sometimes play with them and bring them snacks that he made. your siblings end up fighting over who kita likes more and he pats their heads, saying that he loves them both equally

while watching your boyfriend play with your siblings, you feel your grandmother tap your shoulder and say ‘he’s a keeper’ and you couldn’t agree more

semi: 

part of your struggles growing up was your parents dictating what you should study for college and what job you should take when you grow up

they also told you that since they’re paying for you through college, you’ll have to do the same for your younger siblings. you always kept that thought in the back of your head

and then you met semi in one of your classes. you loved the fact that he was pursuing his dream of being a musician even though it wasn’t really The Path to Financial Success

you guys grew closer and you opened up about wanting to pursue a different area of study from what your parents wanted you to do but you were too scared to bring it up with them

semi understood your dilemma and advised you that either path is fine because he knew you loved your siblings too

if you decided to go through with your dream, he’ll be the one to help you work up the courage to tell your parents. semi would be waiting outside your door, crossing his fingers that your parents will accept it

if you decide not to, semi will also understand. he’ll tell you that you don’t have to give up completely on what you want to do and cultivate it as a hobby that you’re invested in

on a lighter note, you love bringing semi over to your house because your younger siblings like him so much, especially when he brings his guitar

semi likes to hold mini-concerts where he’ll be sitting on the edge of your bed with you and your siblings on the floor. he’ll sing a few songs before opening it up for ‘requests’

he probably had to play an acoustic version of ‘baby shark’ more than a few times but he doesn’t mind entirely

taglist that i forgot to add lskjga (still open to anyone who wants in!): @montys-chaos​ @miyumtwins​ @strawberriimilkshake​ @pocubo​ @sugawara-sweetheart@akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan@therainroguefanfiction@atetiffdoesart@stephdaninja@oikaw-ugh @charliefredb @dramaqueenweeb1469@tremblinghearts @applepienation @doodleniella​

#haikyuu!! #hq x reader #kageyama x reader #kageyama tobio #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou #akaashi x reader #akaashi keiji #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi #osamu x reader #osamu miya #kita x reader #kita shinsuke #semi x reader #semi eita #haikyuu!! headcanons #haikyuu!! scenarios #haikyuu!! requests

[shhhlikeme]

Hello, could I have a request? If it’s not too much of a bother, maybe about kenma having a crush on a foreigner who’s still new to speaking Japanese, so he teaches her how to speak better, gets to know her better and finds out she’s also a gamer? Sorry if it’s too specific, I love your writing!! 🥺

Thank you so much for reading my work! I adore Kenma he is everything so thank you for requesting him. I didn’t want to stop writing this! I hope you like it!

Kenma x Foreign Student Reader

——————————

You were the absolute ONLY thing that could take Kenma’s attention away from his Nintendo switch

When you trotted into class silently that day as a new student that just moved to Japan from [Your City] Kenma just scribbled in his notebook like he always does when the teacher is talking because he didn’t hear you come in

The teacher asked you to introduce yourself and you did, shyly and in less than accurate Japanese

This got catboy’s attention

When Kenma heard your angelic voice he lifted his head up from the paper for the first time that day

Baby boy is smart af. He doesn’t even need to listen in class and he gets straight A’s

His eyes widened when he saw you. You clearly weren’t from here and he didn’t know how he felt about that

He takes a mental note that you looked.....different.

Um, good different.

VERY good different. He realized, as he studied your features

Kenma thought you were beautiful and although your introduction had grammatical errors, he found your mistakes quite adorable

You sat in front and to the left of him which was ideal for Kenma because you couldn’t really see him staring

Since Kenma is a gifted student he is always abnormally bored in classes. His teachers always took away all of his electronics so he didn’t even try anymore. This current Modern Japanese class was no exception until you joined, and as the days went by he found himself not even missing his electronics for the first time in his life because he shared that class with you

He has you to look at now

You were so pretty and interesting to him.

He wished he could talk to you

Hiding behind his hair so that he wouldn’t get caught with red cheeks and all, he sighed admiringly as he watched you listen diligently to the teacher. The way you looked when you were concentrated made Kenma’s stomach hurt because you were just so cute. Watching you made him wish he had Kuroo’s confidence when it came to girls

Maybe he would ask Kuroo for advice, albeit a mortifying thought

Day after day in class Kenma watched as you read the teacher’s lips in hopes of slowing down the language in your head better. When everyone got a worksheet in class Kenma always did his work fast and just smirked to himself because you would quietly sound out everything you were reading and translate it to English.

So cute

Kenma knew his fair share of English because of his American gamer friends, so when he heard you translate a Japanese word incorrectly, which would have been detrimental for your grade on this paper, Kenma wanted so badly to jump in to help you

But he was anxious

In silent panic, he watched you whisper the wrong answers out loud because you had translated one early sentence incorrectly .

Oh no.

You were going to fail!

What would Kuroo do??? Kenma thought.

In his animated mind, he conjured up an air bubble version of Kuroo looking down at him and lecturing him, telling Kenma that: “you are like blood that should flow towards the blood that has the most attractive body covering it which is obviously a reference to the cute foreign girl you have a crush on so STOP BEING SUCH A WUSS AND HELP HER, KENMA!”

Kenma shook his head violently. The air bubble version of Kuroo disappeared.

God, even in his made up thoughts his best friend was obnoxious

Kenma’s volleyball team, Fukurõdani’s volleyball team and Hinata all knew Kenma’s true personality.

They knew that Kenma wasn’t a shy person like most people initially think when they see him alone in the corner. In fact, he wasn’t shy at all. He just didn’t like people. Learn the difference.

And when Kenma did like specific people he still wanted them to stay at an arms length

So why did he like you so much? He was convinced that he wouldn’t mind having you closer than an arms length because of how pretty you are. Kenma liked looking at aesthetically pleasing things, and in that respect you were much much better than his games or his volleyball friends.

But jumping in to save your assignment still wasn’t him. It just wasn’t Kenma. He didn’t chat to others in class and enjoy it like everyone else in this school. He liked chatting with Kuroo, Shōyō, and his gaming pals, sure. But everyone else was slightly annoying.

But not you.

He wasn’t annoyed by you despite the fact that he’s been watching your embarassing quirks for over a week now. He felt quite the opposite for you, actually...

Completely unaware of Kenma’s daily analysis of you like you always were, you smiled as you finished your work. Ready to leave, you collected your paper, preparing to hand in the open-book assignment worth 40% of your grade. But before you stood up you felt a delicate hand on your arm, halting you.

“Uhhhh.......” You look up to see the most gorgeous boy you’ve ever seen in all the countries you’ve been in. He had striking cat-like eyes that made your heart beat faster and his voice was soft and alluring.

With a serious face, he removed his hand from your arm and pointed to your sheet. In perfect English he said, “That means “theatre audition” actually. Not “movie theatre.”

You were shocked that his English sounded better than your Japanese

Kenma felt a burst of pride within because he could infer that he impressed you with his English

You blushed and quickly started erasing the subsequent answers. “Oh my gosh, thank you so much.”

You expected the gorgeous boy to walk away after that but you were even more taken back when he pulled up a chair next to you.

His sudden movement blew breeze in your direction which wafted the mango-scent of his shampoo toward you. You almost salivated. His hair was so shiny, he was so beautiful and to top it off he smelled to-die-for.

“You made minor translation errors in question 1, 4 and 5 too. Mind if I help you? My name’s Kenma.” He asked hopefully, still speaking to you in impeccable English.

You introduced yourself too while blushing some more and of course you accepted his help

Throughout the rest of class, Kenma, talkative as ever—asked you a bunch of questions in order to get to know you. You shared with him that your parents were divorced and that you decided to move from [Your City] where you lived all your life with your mom to move in with your dad in Japan for high school and University because you loved/missed him. You told him that your dad spoke Japanese to you as a baby but you lost a lot of it living so far away and having no one to practice with.

Kenma became more and more intrigued by you. He could listen to you talk all day which would probably give his best friend a heart attack since Kuroo was put on a strict talking time limit that kicked in after 3 hours.

The more the cat boy learned about you the more he wanted to learn. Especially when you mentioned that your favourite hobby included gaming.

Kenma, being fairly asexual but attracted to you, was unfamiliar with the way the concept of you gaming turned him alllll the way on.

He imagined you beside him during his gaming weekends wearing a baggy t-shirt & just your underwear underneath like he wears.

Damn

He flushed

Let’s just say Kenma had trouble shifting inconspicuously under the desk to adjust his tightened pants when he thought about you gaming.

He mentally prepared to get himself off on the thought as soon as he got home tonight

Yep. You officially had him wrapped around your finger, and you didn’t even know it.

You had no idea that that conversation would go on forever

You had no idea that Kenma had always denied tutoring others when the Modern Japanese teacher asked, and that is why the teacher gladly allowed you two to work together

You had no idea that the rest of the class was ASTONISHED by the quiet and stunning setter of Nekoma (who does everything in his power to not be approachable and avoid social situations) going out of his way to keep a conversation going with another student

You had no idea that all the Kenma admirers were soooooo jealous of you right now

You had no idea that Kenma would glare back at the girls who glared at you and try his best to become your friend in the coming weeks

You had no idea that you both would enjoy every moment of your close friendship. A bit too much

You had no idea that, weeks later, Kuroo would force Kenma into confessing to you, even if it was over your favourite game as avatars... and you would cry tears of joy

You had no idea that you would lose your voice cheering for your boyfriend at Nationals........twice.

You had no idea that upon graduation you two would adopt an adorable kitty and name her -cinema-

You had no idea that years later, Kenma would become the husband of your dreams and that shortly thereafter you would give birth to the most beautiful cat-eyed baby girl that was a splitting image of her stunning bearded father

Just imagine daddy Kenma all grown up with a beard omg

No.... as you sat there in class trying to repeat after him the Japanese sentence on the worksheet, you absolutely had no idea

But

When Kenma asked for your number at the bell and you blushed beautifully again, he felt butterflies in his stomach by the sight, and that’s when

He did have an idea that all of that would happen.

Because love-struck Kenma wouldn’t accept anything less.

#haikyuu!! #haikyu requests #haikyuu boys #haikyu #daily haiku #kenma x reader #kenma x you #kenma kozume #catboy #nekoma #karasuno #haikyuu suggestions #kenma fluff #kenma sfw

[pastrnaks-sainz]

Prompt List!!!!

So to make my life a bit easier, I decided to throw together a quick prompt list. You guys can use this when you’re requesting fics, and I’ll pull from it occasionally if I need some inspiration. I’ll sort into fluffy and smutty prompts so you can have your pick of which one you’re in the mood for!

(also the ones in bold are ones that I’ve added)

Fluffy

“Your hair is softer than mine”

“Stop moving!”

“Go to sleep or I swear to God I’ll make you chamomile tea and cuddle you”

“Is that my sweatshirt?”

“I’m so not jealous”

“Use my conditioner”

“Is that a new perfume?”

“You changed shampoos”

“Поцелуй меня” (kiss me)

“Let me rub your back”

“Take my jacket”

“It’s okay, I was awake anyway”

“Wanna go down to the arcade and play Pac-Man until we get in trouble?”

“How is it the moonlight makes you look that much prettier?”

“You were talking in your sleep”

“I learned a new language for you”

“You think I’m pretty?”

“He told me if I didn’t come talk to you he would take away my PlayStation”

“Read to me”

“I didn’t want to wake you up. You’re adorable when you’re asleep”

“Let's adopt a puppy”

“Have you been hanging out with my mom?”

“Sorry, your bed was just really warm”

“Use my phone”

“When I look at you I get this fuzzy feeling in my chest and I don’t know why”

“You got popcorn just so you could feel like a teenager again, didn’t you?”

“Say that again, but in English this time”

“Please don’t leave me”

“Who gave you permission to go out in public looking like that?”

“Kiss me again”

“You looked miserable, I thought I’d come save you”

“I’m not one for all this fancy ballroom stuff, let’s go hang out in our pajamas and get wine drunk”

“Thunder is just the angels getting excited whenever they score a goal”

“I saw you in the stands last night”

“You got a new haircut”

“That’s my seat” 

“Quit being such a baby and let me put a new Band-Aid on your face” 

“Because I love you and I don’t when it happened” 

“You gotta tell her, man. She’ll driver herself crazy if she doesn’t know there’s a puppy in your locker” 

“So... are we supposed to like, kiss now?” 

“I’ve seen the way you look at him” 

“You fell. Hard” 

“Will you two just kiss already?” 

“You’re my everything” 

“Shut the fuck up and hold my hand, loser” 

“I need a hug. Just a hug from a big, tall, strong hockey player who smells really good after he gets out of the shower”

“You keep a photo of me in your wallet?”

“I can’t think of a life  where you’re not by my side” 

“You look good in white”

“I’ve never, and will never, be happier than I am with you”

“Your laugh is my ringtone” 

“Isn't this how most romcoms start? Two hot people stuck in an elevator?”

“What would you do if I kissed you right now?”

“Big bad *team name* player and you’re afraid of spiders” 

“Did you get any sleep last night?”

“Come on, we’re going ring shopping” 

“I do” 

“I was going to try to be smooth and all but you’re super pretty and now I’m nervous”

“You look at her like she hung the moon” “To me she hung the galaxy” 

“Are you gonna kiss me or not?”

“We are so not getting matching Halloween costumes” 

“My mother always said athletes make the worst boyfriends. I can’t wait to tell her how wrong she is” 

“Can you- do you want to- please stay with me, I don’t want to be alone” 

“That was dramatic” “You loved it” 

“Will you to fake-prom with me?” 

“Sure puppies are cute and all but have you looked in a mirror?” 

“I can’t believe you're the guy I decided to spend the rest of my life with” 

“I have got to be the luckiest guy in the world” 

“They told me you’d kick my ass, I wanted to see if they were right” 

“If you laugh at something I said then write a fake number on my arm I win twenty bucks from each of them. Help a guy out?” 

“How many episodes of The Office have you watched today?” 

“Be the Pam to my Jim?” 

“You’re lucky you’re cute” 

“Sorry, I’m replacing you with this kitten” 

“You have a poster of me on your wall? Do you kiss it before you go to bed every night?” 

“Stop talking and kiss me” 

Smutty

“You are so hot when you’re mad”

“Damn, I didn’t realize you were so flexible”

“Yoga does wonders for the body, you know” 

“I can’t wait to mark you up” 

“As good as you look in that dress you’d look better without it” 

“Don’t stop” 

“Wait for me” 

“A beautiful sight, you wearing nothing but my jersey waiting for me” 

“Take it off” 

“Right there” 

“I wish I could see you right now but phone sex is gonna have to do it” 

“And you didn’t touch yourself?” 

“Can I tie you up?” 

“No touching” 

“Pull my hair” 

“After that picture you sent me I could barely focus on the game” 

“You look so hot with that scratch on your cheek” 

“So sexy with all your tattoos” 

“This apartment doesn’t have thin walls” 

“Come on, I want the team to know whose you are” 

“I barely even touched you and look at the mess you made” 

“Be gentle” 

“Look at me” 

“You dressed up for me” 

“You tease me during my game, I tease you now. It’s only fair” 

“You might wanna use my foundation and cover that bruise up” 

“I don’t wanna hurt you” 

“Bed. Now” 

“Honey I got all the time in the world” 

“It’s not like your parents are home” 

“I can do it in under five minutes” 

“Shut the door behind you” 

“If you don’t stop staring at my ass I will take you right here on this workbench” 

“Tell me what you want”

“Shower sex is complicated, but lucky for you I’m an excellent teacher” 

“That accent is the sexiest thing about you” 

“Don’t act all innocent, you had me pinned against that wall ten minutes ago” 

“Where’d you learn to do that?” 

“What were you dreaming about?” 

“Tonight is all about you, now put your hands above your head for me, baby” 

“The last time you did that I couldn’t walk for three days” 

“Your hands all over my body was the only thing I could think about at work today” 

“Take your shirt off” 

“You’ve always been my favorite meal”

“I was in the middle of an interview when you sent me that picture”

“Get a room, you two!”

“Don’t cover your mouth, you sound too good to do that”

“You’re the only thing that’s gone right today”

“You’ll be my first”

“I want to watch you touch yourself”   

“I promise you I’m not going to break” 

“Did I stutter?” 

“You have a tattoo?” 

“You and I are the only ones in here, baby” 

“I’ve never known you to be the shy type” 

“I didn’t mean to see you in nothing but panties and a bra, but you left your door open” 

“I never knew you could do that” 

“And in what frat house did you pick up that little trick?” 

“Somehow you’re sexier tonight than you were last night” 

“Has anybody ever touched you before me?” 

“I’ll take good care of you, baby” 

“You are officially on the naughty list” 

“I haven’t been home for more than five minutes and you’re already on your knees for me” 

“I knew you'd want dessert” 

“There are only two reasons you’d call me at one in the morning and judging from the way you’re dressed nobody’s dead” 

“Am I your first?”

Seasonal Prompts

Halloween

“It’s officially spooky season *insert character*, you know what that means” “Pumpkin everything?” “Pumpkin everything”

“Who ate all the candy?!”

“You're not going trick or treating, you’re too old for that”

***“I plan on getting more than one kind of freaky tonight”

“What the hell are you supposed to be?”

“Nope, I’m not scared. Why would think I’m scared? I’m totally not scared”

“I’m pretty sure I have claw marks from your nails”

“Please tell me that’s syrup”

“This haunted house was fifty bucks, I better die for that kind of money”

“Supernatural marathon at my place later, you’re bringing the candy”

“Are we about to make out in a graveyard?”

“Did you seriously injure yourself carving a pumpkin?” “Hey, the knives are sharp”

“Pumpkin spice is the love of my life” “I thought I was the love of your life”

“Don’t you watch horror movies? Splitting up always ends up with someone dead”

“We should do a couples costume” “Yeah, no”

“Nothing in this world is more satisfying than that crunch when you step on a leaf”

“It’s staring at me, *character* why is the scarecrow staring at me?”

“If someone asks, that skeleton of the Werewolf in my front yard is decorative”

“You can jump in the leaf pile if you help me rake”

“How can you love Halloween but hate horror movies?”

“Yeah, bring out the Ouija Board, what could possibly go wrong”

“We are not dogging up Harry Houdini’s grave”

“I think that zombie just grabbed my ass”

“First question; is that fake blood? Second question; if it isn’t is it your blood?”

***“The movie isn’t the only reason you’ll be screaming tonight”

“What are you gonna do? Burn me at the stake?”

“If you find an eyeball, don’t worry it’s not human”

“Ten pumpkins seems a little excessive” “It’s not excessive, it’s festive”

“Did that scarecrow just move or have I had too much punch?”

“My fangs just fell out”

“Yeah, let's go for a walk in the woods. I’m sorry, did you see Blair Witch Project?”

“It’s official, the house is haunted”

Christmas/New Years

“That has got to be the ugliest sweater I’ve ever seen”

“I told you I couldn’t bake, you didn’t listen”

“Look up, there’s mistletoe”

“This was my dream as a little kid, decorating a Christmas tree with a hot guy who just so happened to be my boyfriend”

“You should wear red more often”

“This is exactly how I envisioned you meeting my parents” “You envisioned me meeting your parents while running away from a flaming Christmas tree?”

“Tell me again, slowly this time, how the table cloth caught fire”

“You had the window seat on the way to Thanksgiving dinner, it’s my turn”

“This feels like the start of a rom com, two people stuck on a chair lift with a blizzard coming in”

“So you’re the one with the obnoxious light display”

“If I have to fake a smile for any longer I might actually commit murder so get me out of here as fast as you possibly can”

“My grandmother will not hesitate to force feed you Christmas cookies”

“I’ve always dreamed of having my first kiss on New Years Eve at midnight”

“Looks like we’re gonna have a white Christmas”

“Did you even use any wrapping paper, because this looks like it’s ninety percent tape”

“All I want for Christmas is you” “Cheesy”

“I never said I could skate”

“I thought a sleigh ride would be romantic”

“How the hell did you manage to hurt yourself putting up Christmas lights?”

#nhl fluff #nhl smut #mat barzal x reader #matt grzelyck x reader #william nylander x reader #david pastrnak x reader #anders bjork x reader #jake debrusk x reader #jakob chychrun x reader #tyler seguin x reader #charlie coyle x reader #charlie mcavoy x reader #sean kuraly x reader #brandon carlo x reader #mitch marner x reader #vince dunn x reader #jonathan toews x reader #anthony beauvillier x reader #nolan patrick x reader #travis konecny x reader #jamie benn x reader #william karlsson x reader #tom wilson x reader #roman josi x reader #josh anderson x reader #ryan murray x reader #pierre-luc dubois x reader #brock boeser x reader #mainlypastrnaksbae

[rightsockjin]

A Little Bit of Stress

Summary: You and Namjoon haven’t had sex in God knows how long because of your mutually busy lives. Namjoon was stressed for the next comeback and you had students to motivate but how were you supposed to focus on your job when all you could think about was your boyfriend naked?

Rating: M

Genre: Smut, Fluff, tiny Angst

Word count: 14,456

Warnings: There is sex in this. Oral. Female receiving. Sexual spanking and playful spanking. Erotica…duh. BIg dick energy. And literal. You can feel it in your guts ladies and gents. Fingering, slight dirty talk. na na na na na na na na na na na na Soft DomJOON! A little angst if you squint. Very fluffy. Namjoon loves reader with all he’s got. Unprotected sex. Multiple orgasms. Nipple play-kinda. Bratty reader. Slight choking. Sensitive neck Joon. Ear eating.

Please don’t repost without permission. I worked really hard on this y’all.

`-admin OperaNickle

    Stress. It was the root of nearly all of your problems.

    Whether it was your skin breaking out in places it never did before, or his sour mood that seemed to swing from mild discomfort to full on don’t-touch-me-or-I-will-scream, it was getting to you both.

   Currently, you were sitting on the warm beige couch that Joon had insisted on buying after you complained about the white one that the apartment had come with. You dropped your coffee all over it and painstakingly scrubbed it for hours with a resulting light brown stain.

Your hands were resting on top of one of the dark brown throw pillows you’d bought soon after, triggering his own purchase of an oversized, red orange, paisley rug to match. It was never ending. He’d purchase something, then you would equal it or outdo him.

   You had pointed out one time after he’d bought the most outrageous and expensive thing yet– a dark brown mahogany wood coffee table that looked like an old time-y trunk– that he was furnishing your apartment and that it was a waste of his money. He’d merely chuckled and commented on the sheer amount of time he had been spending at your place since you two  had become more than just friends.

  “I’m just trying to repay you for all of the food I consume when I’m here. Really, you’re the one who’s losing since you have to put up with me.”

   Still, you had made up your mind to somehow repay him for all of the things he continued to buy without your consent. He may be well off –that being an understatement– but he didn’t need to be throwing his money at you. You had a job. A fairly okay one at that. You could buy your own furnishings and feed him when he was over. Another reason for your submission to his lavish, albeit over the top, gift giving was because it had clearly been established as his love language. How could you say no to the way he expressed his feelings?

   The slam of the refrigerator door alerted you from the story you had been reading on your phone. Your fingers accidentally scrolled right and closed the chapter you were on, causing the app to suddenly glitch and close. Your heart sank.

   You frantically clicked on the app to open it and when the loading screen popped up you knew it was a lost cause. You hadn’t saved the story, nor had you memorized the title or author.

   You slumped in your seat letting out an audible groan of pure frustration. You had just been getting to the good part. The part you had started reading the story for in the first place, and just like your sanity, it was robbed at the worst time possible.

   “Damn it! Pinche iPhone de la pinche fucking madre, oh my God!”

   You let the phone drop with a ringing thud on a spot on the floor. It was slightly muffled by the fibers of the rug, but your voice was loud and shrill. From his place in the kitchen, Joon looked over. Out of the corner of your eye you could see the glare on his face shift into confusion. He leaned on the bar that stood between the living room and kitchen and took two deep, calming breaths.

   You were getting on his nerves. You could tell. It wasn’t his fault or even yours. He was constantly under a lot of pressure and recently he’d hit a rut working on one of the verses of his songs. Itt seemed to travel to everything he worked on. The melody he’d been producing that had been flowing out of him like a smooth river;  stuck. The lyrics to his next solo song that had been as easy as speaking; cut short. The rap line song that had been his idea; missing only his part now.

   The frustration and dissatisfaction had bled into his personal life. To be more specific, you. He’d been at your apartment almost daily. Something about how you usually get him to relax and therefore out of any writer’s block he’d have but now it didn’t seem to be working. On the contrary, you seemed  to be making it worse.

   It was torturous. To have him in your bed and not able to touch him or sooth him in any way was the definition of your own personal hell. He showered late at night after he got in from work on most days unless it was the weekend, in which case he showered at around nine to sleep a full eight hours or more. Then he woke up on the earlier side of the morning to try and write from the comfort of his – your – “our” couch. That usually lasted until you woke up, made some sort of breakfast that he pecked at then threw away because his lack of inspiration made “food taste bland”.

   In a way, you felt inadequate. Your sole wish in this relationship was to make his life easier and you hadn’t been able to satiate him for one single second. You had always prided yourself on being able to calm him down, and this no longer seemed to be one of your strengths.

   He even wasn’t as affectionate as usual. Now, you weren’t the kind of person to let things like this get to you. It was a dip. A problem that would eventually turn into a hill. The lower you fall the higher you rise . It was just a fact of  life…so why did you suddenly feel like you were walking on eggshells and he was throwing them at your feet?

   “Are you okay? Don’t think I’ve heard you curse like that…ever,” Namjoon said, sounding apprehensive.

   Your pulse raced as the unfinished scene raced through your mind.

   Namjoon caressed your cheek, his fingers rough from working out. His voice, deep. Gruff. Like he’d just woken up.

   “Oh baby,” he whispered in your ear. His warm breath tracing the shell. A shiver ran up your spine that he pretended not to notice.

   “Do you know how much I’ve missed you,” he kissed your earlobe, letting his tongue dart out for a split second to lav at the tender skin, “Your voice,” he kissed the shell with a slightly open mouth, “ your lips…”

  He traced your ear with his tongue, strong from all the rapping and his accurate pronunciation of every single syllable. You couldn’t help but sigh as a blush tracked up your body and settled in your cheeks.

   “Joon-“

   “Shhhh,” he whispered, still working at your ear, “just relax baby. Let me take care of you. Let me love you.”

   “Y/N,” Joon said a little louder, snapping you out of your reverie. Your breath was coming shorter, your own mind trying frantically to fill in what you hadn’t read. Did he kiss her next? Where were his hands? Still on her cheek? Was he as turned on as she was? What did he mean by “take care” of her?

   “What,” you said, trying and failing to keep the slight bite from your voice. Regret filled you instantly. It wasn’t his fault that the app was glitchy.

   His eyes widened, taken aback by your tone. Great. Now you made it worse. You must have hurt his feelings.

   “What crawled up your ass,” he asked, succeeding in keeping his tone playful and soft but it still agitated you.

    You felt a lick of fire flicked against your chest. Anger boiled in your stomach. He didn’t mean it. You knew that. Just as you hadn’t meant the snappy way you’d answered, but the monster inside of you was ready to growl.

   You bit your lip trying to keep the retort in your throat. If you snapped again, he’d just leave. He didn’t need to be here. He had a dorm and people much nicer to be around. If you wanted to be alone for the next couple of days, it would be the perfect way to do it.

   “Is it work still,” he asked again, his features softening once again in concern.

   The monster retreated as quickly as it had come. The way he seemed to search your whole body as if it could tell him without your words what was wrong was endearing.

   “Yes.”

   It wasn’t a total lie. He’d said “still” and yes, it was a part of your major frustration. Not only was your boyfriend being uncharacteristically cold but your students seemed to be trying less and less every class. It was like no one cared to learn English or to study anymore. Perhaps it was you. Maybe it was that you just weren’t as good of a teacher as you had thought.

   It had been plaguing you. Every time you walked into class, ready to inspire someone, yet they all seemed to want to run the other way.  It was always in the back of your head. What if you lost your job? You would get kicked out of South Korea for sure. You weren’t a citizen. You weren’t married to one… not even close…

   If you were sent back to the US, your parents would never let you hear the end of it. The “I told you so” s and reprimanding glares. The way they would no longer be able to brag about how brave and smart you were. It was eating away at you.

   Of course, you hadn’t told Joon all of this. His job was enough to keep him up for days without his girlfriend adding to the pile. You knew you should tell him what was really wrong, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You couldn’t tell him how crappy you’d been feeling without suddenly making the problem about you and not him and his much busier and more important life.

   It had been steadily building. The anger. The frustration. The guilt. That, coupled with Joon’s complete disdain of your touch, had your own stress going through the roof. you couldn’t even remember the last time he’d made out with you, let alone had any sort of intimate moment.

   So there you were. Frustrated. In far too many ways to count and no real way to fix it unless you wanted to do it yourself and honestly, you didn’t have enough alone time to actually try. As a result, you’d been scarfing down erotica fictions about your own boyfriend. The irony was not lost on you.

   The only problem was that now that you knew what he was like in real life, all the renditions of him were just a bit off. You found yourself rewriting the fiction as you went, trying to imagine what the real Joon would do in that situation. Some were too out there to even consider reading. Some too perverse even for you. Some were so far from the real life Namjoon that they made you laugh but this one, the one that you had been reading before your stupid phone glitched, was very close to what you would assume Namjoon would act like.

   The fake Namjoon was sweet. He was tender and called his girlfriend baby and jagi like he did to you almost exclusively in place of your name. He’d hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek multiple times softly just to remind her that he loved her.. He’d admire her hair and stared at her features as if committing them to his memory for later use. It was so purely Namjoon that it almost felt as if it was really him who had written it. Just for you. So you could have him when he was gone or unavailable. It had felt so real…

   “Too many papers to grade?”

His very much real voice jarred you once again from your thoughts. It seemed he’d been doing that a lot lately. Or maybe you were just dozing off too often.

   “Something like that,” you answered, crossing your arms over your chest. His oversized hoodie curling under your arms. You brushed a long braid over your shoulder with a satisfied grunt and let yourself slide onto the floor before you. Like his hoodie, you crumpled on the rug next to your phone which lay face down. Namjoon’s face winked up at you from one of the many photo cards of him you had and you couldn’t help but smile back at the miniscule Joon. You couldn’t help it. His smile made you smile. Too bad you hadn’t seen the real one in ages.

   Gentle footsteps resonated off the white walls. You didn’t move. Your eyes glued to the ceiling as they got closer and you let your arms fall limply to your side. His face appeared directly in your line of vision, the ghost of a dimple on his left cheek as he half smiled for what felt like the first time in years. He looked down at your unmoving form.

   “It’s got you all jelly like,” he said nudging your hip with his toes. You scrunch your nose in distaste.

   “Don’t poke me you dork,” you hissed, still not moving, having found a comfortable position.

   Namjoon rolled his eyes but sat down next to your head, his legs stretched out before him as he picked up the remote for the TV and went on Netflix. Within seconds you could hear the familiar music of your favorite franchise playing and you jerked unattractively to see.

   The coffee table was in the way.

   “Is that what I think it is,” you asked him, rolling your eyes to the back of your head to try to see him without moving.

   “Why don’t you move over so that you can see for yourself?”

    He patted his muscular thighs as an invitation. Did he want you to sit on him or lay your head on his legs?

   You straddled him. Your hands rested on his shoulders as his smile grew. He was getting hard. You could tell, but his face remained simply at ease.. As if you were the most gorgeous painting he had ever seen and his sole job was to admire you. The only signs of his arousal were his dilating pupils and the third leg in his pants.

   “Mmm,” you hummed looking back at the ceiling, “I’m kind of comfortable.”

   You heard him scoff and couldn’t help the slight smile that graced your lips at his disbelief that mingled with amusement.

   “Come on baby,” he groaned, “you’re going to turn down my thighs for the floor?”

   “I don’t want to move Namjoon,” you argued, breathing deep so that your chest rose high enough to see through the excess fabric on your body. You could sense his eyes on you. Or was that your own desire tainting your perception?

   “But… my thighs… and Harry Potter…” he whined. God, you loved it when he whined. Usually when you were being a huge brat and he turned into a puppy. It was delicious.  

   “But, the floor and my comfort,” you retorted, twitching your open fingers just for fun.

   “Jagiyaaaa,” he groaned, grabbing the hand you’d just moved. He pulled on it to get you to move closer. Your head hit the side of his leg that was mostly covered by his black shorts. The small trip had cleared your view to the TV and you smiled triumphantly.

   “Thanks Joon, now I can see,” you cackled as he let go of your hand and you turned on your side to see clearly. Professor Dumbledore had just started talking to a small cat with glasses.

               For a couple of minutes, you sat in silence and his annoyance seemed to return. Just as the floor was staring to get uncomfortable and you were regretting your stupid choice to stay on the floor and not his thighs, one of his hands dropped down onto your eyes, blocking your vision entirely.

   “Joon,” you said stiffly and you tried in vain to pry his… delectable… hands from your face.

   “You either lay on my lap and watch the movie with me, or not at all,” he joked as you continued to wrestle with his long fingers.

   “How am I supposed to get on your lap if you’re holding me down genius?”

   “Oh sorry,” he said, lifting his hand then used both of them to place your head on his right thigh. You begrudgingly settled yourself on his muscular leg, thought internally you were cheering, pulling your braids out from under your body and over his lap. Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw him looking at your hair with innocent desire.

   “Jagi,” he said running his fingers over one of the braids that nearly touched the floor over his muscles, “can I play with your hair?”

   Namjoon ran a hand through your hair, sniffing it.

   “Jagi, you smell so good…” he said as he scratched your scalp lightly, “can I play with your hair?”

   You choked on your own saliva for a second. You couldn’t swallow and you brought your hand up to cover your lips in case you coughed but the moment passed and your skin flushed as you imagined the short story again.

   “Uh…ye-yeah. Go for it.”

   Namjoon hesitated but pulled the hair ties off the ends of your hair and very slowly and tenderly began to undo the knots that made up your Dutch braids. It would be frizzy when he was done but you could always throw it up in a bun later. Besides, this was one of those things that you just absolutely adored about Namjoon.

   He liked to play with your hair. It was soothing.. When you had mentioned it to Joon once as an anecdote that you enjoyed this action, he’d taken it upon himself to do it when he was sleeping over to help you drift off faster. He’d told you that he had an affinity for grooming people and the fact that you had mentioned that you enjoyed such ministrations made him excited.

   His fingers drew small circles near the front of your head as he finished unbraiding one side of hair. Your eyes drooped as he stopped his small drawings and started to undo the other braid.

   His fingers were skilled–there was no doubt about it–in many, many, ways, but maybe this was your favorite. You sighed, letting him massage your scalp as the movie played. You let your eyes close as the feeling of his hand on your head lulled you.

   After a few blissful moments you realized you were falling asleep and you jumped up, throwing his hand off your head and nearly hitting his chin with your skull.

   Joon’s eyes widened with surprise and confusion as he waited for an explanation. You smiled at the man before you cleared your throat and spoke.

   “I was falling asleep.”

   Namjoon relaxed his shoulder. He had been scared he’d done something wrong,

   “That’s okay baby. I just want you to relax,” he said, pushing your head towards his lap again but you pulled his hand away and straddled his lap before stretching your legs behind him and hooking your ankles together.

   “What are you doing,” he asked, his breath hitching as you rested your hands on his chest. You leaned into him slowly and rubbed your nose on his before nuzzling against his cheek.

   “It’s not fair that I’m the only one relaxing,” you answered, bringing his hand back up to your head and he sighed, tangling his fingers once again. You did the same, running your hand from the nape of his neck and up to his scalp.

   He let out a slow breath when you clutched at the strands and buried your head in his neck, running your lips over the skin there.

   He had a sensitive neck. Whether it was sensually or just on the daily, he loved neck kisses. So you delivered without complaint.

   As you pressed your lips softly on his pulse you couldn’t help but feel elated. Finally. He was letting you help. Finally, he was holding you like he used to. You couldn’t bring yourself to ask “why” as you usually would. You were too scared to shatter the moment. If all you got from him were caresses in your hair and all you got to give were kisses on his neck, then it would all be worth it.

   One of his hands began to draw on your mid to lower back and you couldn’t help but curl around his body. Tighter. Closer. If you could suddenly melt into him and become one, you would do it  in a heartbeat. But this was enough. For now.

   You lightly bit his neck in a couple of different places, letting your tongue lick small stripes in the same place before kissing the saliva away.  His breath deepened further. His hold on your body tightened as well, like he was trying to pull you into him. Both of his hands were splayed out on your torso. His fingers dig into the fabric of his hoodie on your body and his head lulled to the side so you could have better access.

   Elation filled you to the brim. To have him so pliant under your touch was all you could ask for. Him letting you take care of him; that’s all you wanted.

   You used the hand that had a grip on his hair to maneuver his head to meet your mouth.  You kissed up the tendon in his neck slowly, taking your time to appreciate his smooth skin.

   “Oh baby,” he groaned. His mouth was so close to your ear that his breath grazed the shell. A shiver ran up your spine as you kissed his jaw. You struggled to keep yourself present. It was about him. Not about you.

   “Jagiya,” he husked trying to move his head to try to kiss you. You held him firmly in place.

   He groaned again, this time in frustration. He wasn’t used to you taking control. It was always him who took the reins but the last thing he needed at this moment was to take care of you.

   “It’s okay baby,” you mumbled against his sideburns, “just let me take care of you.”

   You planted a soft kiss on his ear. You felt his body convulse. His legs began to fidget under your body. His hips bucked and his hands grasped at your waist as if to still you. It was too late. You could feel his arousal. Slowly, he was hardening as you continued to kiss and suck at his golden skin.

   “Wait wait,” he said, ripping you from his jugular and holding you at arms length. His breath was heavy, almost as if he had been running.  His pupils were dilated and his skin was flushed from his neck to the tips of his ears.

   Sinful. This picture of your boyfriend clearly turned on by the simplest stroke of your lips and fingers, was sinful. And Lord were you a sinner.

   You bit your lip, keeping a growl from ripping from your mouth. You could lose control. Maybe you were the one who was riled up. Your pulse thumped against your neck, your chest… your panties… it’s been too long. Much too long for your liking.

   “Wait for what,” you complained, clenching and unclenching your fingers in his lush locks. You ground your hips once down , pushing into his lap to create friction. He grunted, squeezing your waist to stop you from moving, but you wiggled and squirmed in his grasp managing to get a couple more strokes against his rapidly hardening erection.

   “Hold on,” he spat through gritted teeth, pushing you back and off his lap. The heat in your body seemed to pulsate in your veins as you watched him trying to catch his breath. His shorts were tented. His muscles flexed as if he was trying to stop his body’s reaction, his eyes lidded and his head heavy on his shoulders.

   You couldn’t understand why he had stopped you. He seemed to want it as much or maybe even a little more than you did.

   Suddenly, fear gripped you like a vice. The heat drained and in that moment, you felt stupid. How could you throw yourself at him like that? He’d asked you to stop and yet here you were pushing.

   You pushed yourself away from him a little more and hugged your legs to your chest and placed your forehead on your knees. Tears sprung into your eyes. You tried to keep them quiet but it was hard to breathe. Emotion consumed you. Just because his body reacted did not mean that he wanted what you did.

   Guilt flooded your head like a fog as you felt your body begin to shake. Maybe he just didn’t want you anymore. Maybe… maybe the couple of months that the two of you had as more than friends were enough for him. Maybe he realized that you were better as friends. That would explain his lack of affection. His lack of interest. That would explain his rut.

   “Whoa whoa, Y/N, what’s wrong? Why are you crying,” you heard his voice ask. His hand patting your head to try to get you to look up. You could feel your hair fanned around your arms and were grateful for the extra cover. You hated crying in front of people and he was no exception. In fact, you hated it even more.

   When you gave no answer, you felt him shift closer. He pulled your hair back into a makeshift ponytail . Air hit your burning cheeks but you refused to look at him.

   “Oh baby what did I do,” he asked but it didn’t seem aimed at you. You felt him press his own forehead to the back of your head. He nuzzled into your now frizzy hair and placed a gentle kiss. you felt your shoulder shake as you struggled to breathe.

   A sob escaped your lips and like a dam, it burst forward. It was ugly, to say the least. You hadn’t realized how much emotion you had been holding back. Hadn’t realized how bottled up you had been. Now you were paying for it.

   How embarrassing.

   “Y/N no,” he said, pulling at your legs and replacing them with this body. He wrapped his arms around your torso and settled your arms onto his shoulders. He cradled your head against his neck and kept his hand on the nape of your neck

   “Shhh baby it’s okay… it’s all going to be okay. Just tell me what I did. I’m so sorry…”

     How had you gotten here? How did you end up on the floor of your apartment with tears in your eyes when all you wanted was to kiss his stress away?

   You sat together like this for what felt like forever. Eventually, he pulled you back onto his lap. You assumed because it was more comfortable for hi than squatting on his knees.

   He didn’t ask again what it was that he did. He didn’t question the tears. Instead, he stroked your hair and kissed your cheeks while you calmed down. You felt guilty. You owed him an explanation but you could feel it in your bones that you wouldn’t be able to speak if you tried.

   Finally, you were able to breathe normally but you stayed in his arms for a couple seconds more in case he pushed you off again after he realized that you were feeling ok.

   You slowly pulled your head from his neck and searched around on the floor for one of the hair ties that he’d pulled from your hair earlier. There was one near your phone.

   You quickly tied your hair up and away from your tear stained face, letting the cool air conditioning hit your skin. Joon watched you, waiting on bated breath, but you didn’t want to talk.

   You let your hands rest on your own thighs as his hoodie sleeves covered your hands entirely. You must have looked pitiful. Hopefully you weren’t too red and puffy.

   You couldn’t bring yourself to get off of him so you simply sat waiting for him to break the silence. Maybe he had the same idea because he didn’t speak either. He let his hands fall to your hips and pressed softly into the flesh soothingly.

   You took a shaky breath trying to give yourself courage but- thank God- Joon beat you to it.

   “Baby… are you upset because I pushed you away? I just needed a second to cal down.”

          Baby? Would he still call you baby if he didn’t want to date you? Maybe he didn’t know how to end it and so he was trying to keep you from finding out that he wasn’t feeling it anymore. Baby. you remember when he first called you baby and even though it hadn’t been your favorite name to be called from previous lovers, when it had come from his lips, from his heart…it was different. It was praise. It made you feel warm and like you were glowing. Yet, this time, it was like he’d stabbed you with a heated knife somewhere below your ribcage.

          “If you don’t want me anymore you should just tell me,” your mouth said. Your voice sounded foreign. As if it had come from someone else. What you said surprised you almost as much as it surprised him. His eyes widened and searched your face.

          “Not-not want you,” he stuttered, a laugh barely concealed in his surprise, “are you kidding?”

          Ignoring your fear at how you appeared after your pity party, you snapped your head up to look at him. A small smile rested on his lips and the deeper of his dimples showed slightly. While there was worry behind his gaze, there was another emotion, deep within the brown of his eyes. It was mirth. He thought this was funny.

          “Namjoon,” you raised your voice, trying to keep your own smile at bay. You swatted at his arms and he feigned hurt.

          “What,” he yelled letting uncharacteristically dashing chuckles escape his lips, “You can’t expect me to think you’re being serious.”

          “I am being serious-“

          “Ahahaha,” his loud and somewhat funny laugh was back and with it your own smile. It felt like you hadn’t heard it in so long. Sure, he laughed when he was on run episodes or when he was with the boys but it seemed like around you, he was always down. It was nice to have him laughing even if it was at you.

          “Joon! Stop laughing, I’m not kidding!”

          He laughed even harder at that. His laugh reached a level of loudness that made your ears ring but you didn’t care. He looked happier than he had in weeks. You couldn’t help but chuckle along as he laughed until they subsided into snickers. All the while you continuously poked and pushed at his shoulders playfully.

          When he was finally composed enough to make direct eye contact, he cleared his throat and widened his pretty eyes at you as he tended to do after he heard a good joke. His smile was glued to his face as he rubbed circles into the hoodie.

          “Do you really think,” he couldn’t help but cough as he tried to stop another fit of laughter from escaping, “that I would ever, and I mean ever,” he paused, his fingers slipping down almost deafly to the hem of the hoodie you were wearing, “not want you?”

          You blinked at him as his eyes glittered, darkening impossibly so. It was like a switch was flicked and the small amount of lust that you’d seen before was back. Nimble fingers found their way under the oversized fabric on your body. His touch was slightly cold to the skin on your stomach. It sharply contrasted the heat that seemed to rush into your cheeks and your ears.

          “Well,” you managed with little to no effort, “it’s been weeks since I’ve so much as kissed you…” His index finger had found the lace of the bralette you were wearing. His thumb hooked under the soft edge and tugged at it slightly. Distracting. He was so distracting.

          “So-so I thought maybe it was something I had done,” you said in one breath as his thumb dug a little higher under the elastic that clung to your ribs to keep your breasts in place. Just in the nick of time too. Had he done it just one second earlier, you would have probably become mute for once in your life. A feat only Namjoon could achieve.

          “That’s on me,” he said suddenly halting his progressing fingers, his shoulders sagging, “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant lately.”

Namjoon rested his forehead on yours. His eyes shut tight as his apology fell from his pink lips.

          He stroked the section of skin under the pad of his thumb, the tip just barely brushing the underside of your breast. You felt a wave of heat rush through your body. Was it getting hot? Should you close the curtains?

          “I’ve just been stressed and I didn’t want to blow up on you. At the same time, well… I miss you and I feel the most comfortable around you. I don’t ever feel like I have to pretend that I’m alright. I didn’t mean to make you feel unappreciated.”

          When had his other hand found your bare waist? Had his voice distracted you? When had the rest of his fingers ended up under the soft lace of the bralette? Had his thumb traveled further?

         “I didn’t mean to…deprive you,” He whispered, forcing you forward to catch his low words. In hindsight, it was a trap. That’s exactly what he wanted but could you fight him when he sounded so delicious?

          Your thoughts were cut short when his hand on your chest shifted completely, cupping and gently squeezing. Your eyes widened, mouth dropping open in surprise. He gave another firm squeeze as his eyes squinted cutely, his high pitched giggle returning, like music to your ears as he leaned even closer and bumped his nose against yours.

          “Kim Namjoon,” you gasped but it was eaten up as he quickly connected his lips to yours in a spurt of short, chaste kisses that had you chasing after him. Frustration flooded your veins as he continued to pull away, leaving you wanting more and more the more he gave.

          Finally, having had enough, you grabbed his head with both of your hands and tilted it up slightly so you could kiss him properly. Forcing him to slow down. He would be in control soon enough. You should enjoy the power you had while you could.

          You forced your lips onto his. The kiss was soft, slow, passionate. He melted into it. He always did like when you took a hold of him in some way or another. Sinful, beautiful noises escaped his lips. His small moans seemed  to absorb into your pores. In turn you couldn’t help but answer each and every one of them. He nibbled on your bottom lip for a second, an action that you couldn’t get enough of and he knew, then went right back to sucking on your upper lip.

          “Fuck,” you could feel the arousal in your throat. He made you lose yourself. He made you forget where you were, who you were.

          “That’s right baby girl,” he groaned into your mouth as you licked his lips, “that’s exactly what I’m going to do to you.”

          You moaned. It was embarrassing how easily you could come undone under his ministrations. If you could kiss him for eons, you would. His lips were your favorite bit of him. He was so. Fucking. Good.

          “Baby please,” you groaned pulling at his lip with your teeth, “I want you…”

          “Shit,” he said, a gurgle of want bubbling from his throat. You shifted, trying to remind him of his hands on your body but what it did instead was remind you of another part of him that seemed almost as excited as you were.

          “Jagi,” he hissed, shifting his hips to get the same friction you’d just created, “do that again.”

          You pulled your lips from his, a thin strand of saliva connecting you. In any other situation, this would be gross, but in that instant, it only spurred you on more.

          “Yes sir,” you joked, winking at him as you rolled your hips against his half hard erection. A melody of noises fell from his blessed tongue. Lust was over taking you. Your eyelids became heavy. Your breath, shallow and hard.

          “You know that’s not what I want you to call me,” he hissed at you, his fingers on your chest picking at the nipple that had hardened at some point while you made out. You sighed, your tongue darting out to wet your parched lips but you knew that the thirst you were feeling could not be quenched this way.

          “Say my name,” he growled, twisting his finger and pulling at the sensitive skin. You were panting now, slowing your movements on his lap to enjoy his cares.

          You whimpered, pushing your chest into his hand, arching your back as you struggled to draw any breath.

          “Come on baby girl,” he pressed, his lips brushing against your neck. When had he gotten to your neck?

          “Just once,” he begged but you knew he wasn’t asking.

          “Make me ,” you gasped as he bit and sucked at your pulse. A smile tugged at your lips as you felt him stop and tense.

          He pulled his lips from your neck, a lewd squelch resonating in the empty apartment as he brought his eyes level with you. He withdrew his hand as well without even a warning and you whined, thought you knew this would happen as soon as you started to fight him. It was worth it though. You knew he always worked better under a little pressure.

          “Just what I needed to hear.”

          He shifted under you, locking your ankles behind his back. He then locked your hands behind his neck. You weren’t stupid. You could see where this was going. Now, Namjoon was obviously very smart. It was  obvious. But sometimes, on most occasions, he lacked the common sense to make proper choices.

          This was one of those times.

          “Hold on tight baby,” he winked, kissing your lips once more before pushing himself up by doing a bench dip with his knees bent. Namjoon had a lot of thigh and arm muscle. This much was true, but was he used to lifting both his body weight and your own? No.

          So when he started to shake under the joined pressure, it wasn’t a surprise. You would have laughed but Lord were you scared that he would fall, or drop you or hurt himself. Instead, you struggled to decide if you should be holding onto him for dear life or if you should fling yourself off him to avoid any major injury to either of you.

          The decision was taken from you as his left arm bent at a slightly awkward angle and his balance was thrown. Instinctively, you let go of him to brace yourself as the swooping sensation of falling gripped you with fear.

          You couldn’t tell exactly how it happened. Your eyes fell shut as you landed heavily on your side. Your elbow hitting first as you reached out to stop your momentum.

          “Ow,” you couldn’t help but groan as sharp pain shot through your arm. You heard Namjoon gasp near you but all you could see was stars. You began to giggle uncontrollably as tears streamed down your face.

          “Oh your God, Y/N are you alright,” he said, sitting you up with his strong arms. You couldn’t stop laughing. You’d hit your damn funny bone and in all honesty, this was a funny situation. Sex with Namjoon was nothing if not eventful and filled with awkward mishaps.

          “I’m fine,” you said through laughter, “i just hit my elbow.”

          You blinked away the tears in your lashes, looking up at the dope of a man that you were in love with. Worry was evident on his brows. He looked you over before taking your arm in his hand and examining the red mark where you had landed.

          “Does it hurt a lot? Do you think it’s broken,” he asked, touching it lightly but no pain was felt on your end. Perhaps it was the adrenaline, or maybe it was the fact that nothing, and you meant nothing- could stop you from taking this man in this very instant, but you couldn’t care less if your arm was broken. Hell, it could have been hanging off by a thread and you’d still want to have a quickie before we went to emergency care.

          Could you blame yourself? The man was gorgeous.

          This was, in fact, what you were focusing on at the moment. The way that his hair fell into his dark eyes. The way his jaw contrasted with his round cheeks. How his lips were slightly parted as he examined your arm with utmost delicacy. His shoulders. His neck. The veins in his muscular arms. His long… nimble…fingers…

          “Joon,” you snapped a bit harsher than you had meant to. His eyes shot up to meet yours, confused and shocked.

          “Did I hurt you…” he averted his eyes shyly, “More?”

          “Oh honey no,” you laughed, though this time you cut yourself off as you caught a glimpse of his hardening member under the loose shorts he was sporting, “I’m hoping you might though.”

          You weren’t much into pain and Namjoon knew this very well, but these words were enough to pull him back at what was at stake. You.

          “Are you sure,” he asked one last time, fighting with his own concern and sky rocketing arousal.

          “Very sure,” you said, pushing yourself up to your knees to kiss his cheek then ducking your head to kiss his neck.

          A shiver ran down his whole body. His eyes closed and squinted. His bulge twitched slightly and you couldn’t stop the smirk on your face. You reached out and ran a single finger over the tented area, drawing little circles as you worked your way to the tip.

          “Oh fuck,” he whispered gruffly wrapping his fingers around your wrist and pulling it away from his body. You giggled as he let his eyes fall open, a chastising spark in his pupils. Oh you were so going to get it.

          “Close the curtains,” he commanded and you shrugged, standing quickly and nearly yanking the curtains from the hinges.

          “Done. Now what?”

          “You seem a little eager to please,” He chuckled, standing from his place on the floor carefully. It must have been painful. He looked even harder now.

          “I always am. You know I’m a people pleaser.”

          He rolled his eyes but nodded at the stairs by your kitchen and with an excited hop, you ran towards them. Joon chased you, playfully swatting at your hips and behind every couple of steps. Your long hair bobbed with every step and your shoulders shook with every giggle. You tried to jump away from him but only half-heartedly. In truth, you loved his hands on your butt and you weren’t going to pass up some playful spanks.

          When you made it to the landing, you turned around. Namjoon was slightly shorter than usual due to him being one step behind you, so you took advantage, throwing your arms around his neck as he took the last step. As if he was on the same wavelength, he reached down, grabbing at your thighs and settling them around his hip.

          You giggled again, excitement and something a little purer flooded your system. His lips met yours unceremoniously, nipping and sucking light heartedly while you smiled into him. The scent of something flowery hit your nose and you realized he must have used some of his Chanel number five lotion. It strangely suited him well.

          Finally, you reached your bed. He climbed on carefully, setting you on your back. He pulled away and blinked at you. Your stomach fluttered at his expression. There was a softness on his features that you never saw with anyone else. A love that you couldn’t quite describe but couldn’t ignore.

          He let go of your leg to stroke at your cheek with the back of his hand. Pure, undeniable warmth surged through you at his touch. Your smiles match in intensity and adoration. It was weird. Maybe no one could understand it. How intimate sex truly was to you. Especially with the reputation that your boyfriend had of being a sexual deviant, but the truth was that while he was naturally very attracted to the human body, sex had a special meaning to him. It wasn’t something that he gave away easily. It was an expression of his trust and love. It was nearly never self-serving, and almost always to focus on you and your needs. He was a giver, contrary to popular belief.

          You buried your hand in his hair and pulled him to your lips, savoring the taste of strawberry Chapstick as if it would be the last time that you could ever do so. Not even for a breath of air did you pull away as he hooked his thumbs over the edge of the hoodie and slowly began to bunch it up around your chest.

          Cool air hit your warming skin, his touch only furthering the experience. Every nerve in your torso was in flames, the pulse between your legs growing stronger by the second. Like it was yelling at you to give it the attention it searched for. Namjoon angled his pelvis up so you could feel his own pulse against your own. His member twitched as he shifted his hips from side to side ever so slight, your legs still wrapped tightly around him. You couldn’t stand the thought of him being any farther from you than a couple of centimeters.

          Just as the thought crossed your mind, he pulled away from the kiss, his hands both at the lace edge of your bra now. His gaze darkened as you whined, chasing his sweet lips but he kept himself out of reach with a pleased smirk.

          “Joonie,” you groaned trying to pull his head back to you but he only rolled his eyes before prying a hand from his hair almost reluctantly, entwining his fingers with yours and kissing the back of your hand softly. He smiled and placed it over his chest, where you could feel his speeding heart. It pounded against his ribs at the same speed as your own. In sync, in one harmonious song.

          You relaxed a bit at the gesture. His heartbeat always had that effect and he never failed to use it to control you in the sweetest way possible. Your chest rose and fell dramatically as he memorized your features.

          “Can this come off,” he asked, tugging once more at the fabric of the sweater you stole. You smiled at him knowingly and nodded.

          “If you take it back after we’re done, I’m going to be upset,” you half joked as he placed tiny pecks on each knuckle and one last kiss on the back of your hand before he dropped it next to your head and took the hem of the hoodie with both hands.

          “Hands over your head,” he said, the slightest bit of authority in his command. Obediently, or maybe it was because you were so keen to please, you shimmed your hands over your ponytail and arched your back to make it easier for him to pull it off.

          He was cautious not to get it stuck on your ears, or to pull on your hair. Too many times had he accidentally snagged an article of clothing on an earring or accidentally tangled your hair into the fabric. He’d learned that lesson, as he more than likely learned not to try to stand up with you in his lap earlier.

          Once you were free of the fabric, he balled it up, smirked at you, then tossed it over to a pile of stuffed animals that you had set up on a small table. You had one from each tour he had gone to from every country they visited. In case you missed him he’d send you one from wherever he was so you could imagine being with him. It was such a sweet thought and a tradition you looked forward to.

          Namjoon kissed your nose faintly, bringing your attention back to him. You gave him a tight-lipped smile, his hands not dilly dallying any further. Instead he rested them directly on top of your breasts, squeezing, just enough to remind you what you were doing. What you were craving.

          “ Y/N,” he groaned, looking at the way his hands engulfed the hills on your chest. It was a reminder. You didn’t have huge breasts but neither were they tiny, and the way that his hands seemed to be the perfect size to hold each, only served to recap how big his pretty hands were.

          “I love you in lace,” he gasped, thrusting his hips against the heart of your femininity. You choked on a moan. He was so stiff, and the combined warmth of your bodies seemed to radiate into the air.

          “You’re blushing, beautiful,” He said against your neck. There was no denying it. Not only could he clearly see the tint of red on your skin, but he could also feel it against his lips.

          “Shut up,” you complained, twirling a strand of hair between your fingers as he nibbled on your burning skin. He  let a hand trace up to your chin. His thumb parting your swollen lips and pressing against your tongue. He wasn’t fond of you telling him what to do.

          “It’s pretty, baby,” he kissed a hickey into your neck loudly, “You know I love it when your skin flushes under my touch.”

          There was a hidden question in this statement. He was asking you if this is what you wanted out of this encounter. To turn pink under his hand. It wasn’t new. He’d done it to you on many an occasion and it was as enjoyable to you as it was to him.

          “You know I like it too,” you said shyly, glad that he couldn’t see how much blood rushed to your cheeks at the thought of what could happen next.

          His manhood twitched against your core, his breath hitched. He could read you like a book, or maybe he had you memorized. Either way, he pulled your legs from his body and pulled you to sit up. In a matter of seconds he had pushed you to the edge of the bed, stood you up and sat you on his toned thighs. Confusion clouded your mind. The other times that something of this sort happened in the bed room, you were across his lap not on it. In all honesty, you weren’t sure how this would work with the way he had positioned you.

          Namjoon was a man with a plan. He wasted no time in scooting you back until his shoulders were pressed against the wall.

          “Joon, what are you-“

          “Lay down,” he said, pushing you forward as he parted his legs. Your head facing towards his feet, your face in the comforter. You put your arms under your head to support yourself as Namjoon pulled your legs around his hips once more.

          That’s when it became all clear. Before you could process what was happening, he tugged at your leggings, pulling them down to about your midthigh. Cool air hit your behind and you couldn’t help the shiver that traveled up your spine.

          “Pink panties ,” he whispered so hoarsely that it was almost unintelligible, “My favorite color on you, did you wear this for me?”

   You took a deep breath, forcing courage into yourself before you said, “No, it’s for my other boyfriend .”

         He stiffened at the sarcasm but quickly relaxed knowing that you were just trying to rile him up. One, slender finger drew a small heart on your right butt cheek. You could almost hear his smile as he inhaled. His brain whirling with possibility.

          “Cheeky,” he joked, patting the spot he’d just traced on. The sound of skin on skin making your mind blurry with desire.

          You snorted, because, come on. That’s a good joke and he chuckled.

          “You know what happens when my baby gets mouthy…don’t you baby?”

          You hummed, loving your little banter. It was lucky that your face was firmly between your arms or maybe he’d see your mind working to sass him.

          “I don’t think that was mouthy,” you shrugged. His index finger found its way under the elastic of the panties on your body. You licked your lips in anticipation but nothing happened. Disappointment began to settle in right before you felt him tug it up then without warning, released it.

          The sharp snap of pain panged through the skin on your butt and lower back. You hissed as he pushed into the place the elastic dug. It was a start. A damn good one at that.

          “Maybe not, but I get to be the judge of that,” he said plucking the elastic up on the opposite side of your hip, “and I think that you’re mouthy.”

          Snap.  

           You groaned but adrenaline had started to kick in and arousal was pooling between your legs.

          “Turn me around,” you mumbled, enjoying the sting against your skin as he pressed into the area your underwear hit, “I’ll show you just how mouthy I can be.”

          “Fuck,” he spat, smacking your right butt cheek and yanking your hair just for his own added pleasure. The noise resonated in the large, partially empty, apartment. A gasp escaped your lips.

          “Maybe later,” he reasoned, hitting the left one this time a little harder than the last, “first, i want to see my handprint on your ass.”

          Two more fast slaps to your right cheek followed by one to your left. You clenched around nothing feeling the burn start to take over. His hand delivered delicious blows each time.

          “What-“ spank, “happened to-“ spank, spank, “pink?”

          “I’ve decided that you deserve more than just pink. What with that filthy mouth of yours.”

          “Filthy,” you mock gasped as he slapped one side multiple times quickly. So quickly, you couldn’t even count and your skin was starting to get numb.

          “You didn’t seem to have a problem with my mouth last time it was around your-” three more slaps and then a snap of the elastic of your underwear was enough to shut you up. A moan gurgled into your mouth that you barely held back. Namjoon rubbed the sting into the panging skin. His finger now felt cold against you and you knew you must be peachy at the very least. Cherry red at the worst. Judging by his giggle, you were somewhere in between.

          “Don’t laugh at me, you jerk,” you groaned, feeling your face flush as he ran a finger over your clothed slits. You shuddered in anticipation.

          “I love how you react to the simplest touches,” he mumbled, running his finger over and over the damp underwear, “You’re a little wet baby.”

          You could tell he wanted you to say something but you couldn’t bring yourself to voice a single thing. When you said nothing he continued.

          “Maybe we should get rid of these,” he slipped a finger under the side for a second, before pulling it out and grabbing your hips.

          “Or maybe,” he shifted himself pushing his manhood against your center, “we could just push these aside…”

          He pulled you back onto him, the friction heavenly to you both. A sinful, melodious moan left his lips. He was getting desperate but if you knew your boyfriend, he could draw this out for much, much longer and you…you were in no rush.

          “Or maybe,” you countered pushing yourself up and away from the bed sheets, “you could put my ‘filthy’ mouth to some use,” you threw a cautious look over your shoulder only to see his mouth hanging open in surprise and his fluffy cheeks flushing a pale pink.

          “What’s wrong baby,” you asked with a smirk looking down at your touching centers then back at his eyes, your lip between your teeth, “cat got your tongue?”

          His eyes sparkled as he looked between you where you connected through fabric. You could almost see him salivate. You’d heard of this before your relationship with Namjoon. You’d heard of men loving to please a woman. You had heard of the way some men drooled at the thought but never had you experienced it. That is, unti the first time Namjoon disrobed you and he’d licked his lips and buried his face between your legs.

          And here it was again. That look. Feral. Primal. Thirsty. It was, so absolutely sexy. But this was not what you had in mind.

          In an instant, Namjoon rolled you off of him, shifting himself on his hands and knees. You adjusted yourself against the pillows of the bed, your chest heaving as he tore his shirt from his body as if it was burning him. He threw it on the floor next to the bed then turned his attention back to you, “Take it off.”

          “Take what off,” you asked genuinely not sure but his quirked eyebrow made you swallow the little saliva in your mouth and strip your bralette and underwear in a matter of seconds. You weren’t in the mood to be deprived of an orgasm after a couple of weeks hiatus.

          You propped yourself up a bit higher, your legs squeezed shut in slight embarrassment. You crossed your arms under and slightly over your breasts to cover your pert nipples. It had been a while, and it kind of felt like it was the first time he’d seen you naked even though, in the back of your mind, you knew he’d seen it plenty before.

          Namjoon’s chest rippled in the dim light, his arms, so toned and silky, flexed as he held himself up, devouring every inch of skin he could see. His tongue darted out to lick his plush lips. A shock of thrill went directly to your core. You had memories of that tongue in other places.

          “i’ve missed you baby girl,” he said, grabbing your ankles and pushing them apart so he could take a look at what lay in between. When his eyes landed on your slit, it was like he’d been sedated. His shoulders relaxed, his jaw slacked and his elbows buckled slightly.

          “Finally,” he grumbled, jumping at your body. He kissed your lips passionately, ripping your arms from your chest and entwining his fingers with yours to pin them to the bed on either side of you. You spread your legs even wider to accommodate his torso.

          He pressed his hips into your sex. The texture fabric of his shorts rubbed up against the little nub that was begging to be touched.

          You moaned into the kiss as his tongue found its way into your mouth. You were hot. So hot. You were burning up. Maybe it was the way that you could feel his erection so firmly between your legs. You couldn’t tell. But you were so freaking hot.

          “Fuck baby,” he groaned against your chin, kissing down your neck sloppily. Trails of saliva  followed as he made it to your chest. He wasted no time in taking one of your eagerly awaiting nipples in his mouth. He lightly nibbled and sucked on the sensitive flesh. His tongue was weirdly talented, even though he hadn’t had many girlfriends before you.

           You usually attributed it to his rapping skills as he had so eloquently put it one time when you, in the heat of the moment, asked him how he could possibly be this good.

          “You’ve heard of what guitarists can do with their hands? This is what rappers do with their tongues.”

          He pulled away from your chest, kissed the nipple, before he blew on it just a tiny bit. He drove you crazy and he knew it. Your eyes rolled into your head. God, you missed him.

          “Joon…if you don’t touch me, I swear-”

          “Baby,” he cut you off again, “I think it’s been too long. You’re forgetting who,” you looked down as his hands grabbed onto the inside of your thighs, “is in charge.”

          You opened your mouth to protest but his own mouth dove right into the folds between your legs kissing with an open mouth and you shut your lips instantly.

          “Fuck,” you said, trying to close your legs but his strong arms kept you open, vulnerable before him.

He lapped at your clitoris with just the very tip of his tongue. He drew shapes and letters. He must have spelled words even, in hangul by the way that his tongue was moving and you just lay there, shivering under his touch.. He really was a talented rapper if what he was doing was any indication.

          He mumbled something against your core, and it sent a vibration of pure delight through your body. You clenched around nothing and let a whine escape your lips. This was not supposed to be about you, but were you a horrible person for suddenly not caring?

          “Wh-what,” you asked, as waves of pleasure surged through your body, his plush lips clamping around the little nub between your legs and sucking gently.

          He withdrew his lips with a lewd squelch and you wrinkled your nose at it. Disappointment surged through you before his voice did.

          “I said,” he licked a long, wide stripe from bottom to top, his eyes firmly on your shocked and blissed out face, “so good.”

          You had no words. You floundered for any semblance of coherent sounds but nothing came to mind. How did sentences work again? Did your voice come from your lips?

          You bit the corner of your bottom lip as he gently kissed around your labia. He let go of your thighs, and used his index finger and thumb on both hands to spread you open. His eyes were greedy, excited. It was like someone had offered him some cotton candy or made him some of that expensive drip coffee he liked. He looked, hungry.

          Without your response, he once again kissed the now very visible and pulsating nub that was filled with blood from arousal. The sensation made your shoulders both relax and tense at the same time. Noticing your reaction, he chuckled, and stuck his tongue out sharply. Without hesitation, he licked back and forward a couple of times. Your legs shook and you had the instinct to clamp them closed but you forced yourself to keep them apart and bent.

          Within seconds, you felt your climax nearing. After a few rounds in this same position, he’d figured out exactly what to do to make you finish. You could still remember telling him when he had first suggested trying this particular act that no one had ever made you finish from just eating you out and not to feel bad if you didn’t climax, but he was determined and after a first time “failure”  -which was relative because what he had done felt great but he felt it wasn’t a success until you came- he set himself to research and was eventually, the first man to make you come in this way.

          It was safe to say that it had gone to his pretty little head. Maybe this was why he liked to do this so much. It was something purely his. Something he could proudly call himself a pioneer of and he was so damn good at it.

          “Joonie,” you whimpered, pulling on his hair tightly so he would slow down, but it was like he knew, and he probably did know, that you were close.

          He doubled his efforts, holding you apart, vulnerable to his talented tongue. You threw your head back. The pleasure was almost too much. Too powerful. The thought that it was Namjoon between your legs making you see stars was almost enough to push you over the edge.

          “Come on gorgeous. i know you want to cum,” he mumbled quickly, going back to the motion he had before with a slight bit more pressure.

          Maybe it was because he pointed it out, or maybe it was because you really were needy, but you did. You felt your body tense almost to the point of discomfort then like a dam filled with water, the pleasure burst, leaving you moaning his name as he lapped at the wetness that still coated your womanhood.

          “Namjoon please oh God,” you whined, trying to pull him off but he wasn’t slowing down.

          Overstimulation was quickly taking over. Your body shivered violently. This time, your legs did snap closed on his head but he didn’t seem to care. He let go of your labia and pried your thighs apart, sucking your clitoris into his mouth harshly.

          Tiny whimpers escaped your lips. It was like you were watching it happen rather than having it done to you. You couldn’t think. Your body acted of its own accord, reacting to every lick and slurp of your boyfriend’s perfect mouth as if on autopilot.

          “Namjoon, it’s too much ,” you begged but he only chuckled and brought a hand closer to your center.

          “I can’t have my sexy girlfriend thinking that I don’t want her anymore,” he said against your skin, “gotta show you how much I need you, baby girl.”

          You gasped, as a finger circled your entrance. The pads of his fingers were a little rough and the texture felt amazing against your sensitive middle. Without warning, he dipped the finger in. You were so wet at that point that his finger met no resistance and he instantly plunged a second finger after it.

          As if he had been trained his whole life for pleasing just you, he found your g-spot near instantly. A small scream of gratification left your swollen lips as he pressed against it over and over and over.

          It wasn’t long before you were at the edge again. Delirious. Desperate for release once more. The pain of over stimulation, long gone and replaced by hyper awareness and desire.

          “I think I’m going to-“

          Stolen from your lips were the words as you clenched around his finger and twitched under his touch. This time, he helped you ride it until goosebumps decorated your skin and when you tugged at his hair once more, he withdrew his head and his hand from your abused core.

          It was a couple of minutes before you were able to properly breathe. Your chest heaved. You could have just ran a mile in six minutes flat with the exhaustion that filled your bones to the brim. When you could finally think clearly, you pushed yourself up and looked for your boyfriend.

          He was waiting patiently on his knees between your own. His face, from his nose to his chin, glistened with the wetness that could only come from between your legs. His chest was bare, and a light sheen of sweat seemed to coat it. He too was breathing heavily but you could tell buy a single glance at his shorts, that he was nowhere near done.

          “Nam-mjoon,” you said, your voice wavering, earning you a giggle from the cute boy before you, “I was  supposed to suck you off. Not have you eat me out…”

          Your arms felt heavy as well as your legs. If you let yourself, you could fall asleep right then but you forced the tiredness away as you looked at Namjoon’s puppy eyes.

          “Do you want me to,” you asked, bracing yourself for his answer. This might be the worst blow job you ever give but if he wanted your lips around him, you would happily oblige.

          “Y/N, you look like you could fall over at any second. i think having you fall asleep around your co-“

          “Joon!”

          He rolled his eyes at your outburst. you always felt a bit strange about him being vulgar when it came to certain body parts but he usually ignored your please and said what he wanted. Today was no different.

          “…cock…would be a blow to my confidence not to my dick.”

          You giggled at his joke and sat up a little straighter. Usually, you would fight him. you hated not reciprocating and especially now that it had been so long since you had a proper night together but there was a real possibility that you could hurt him so you didn’t push on the blow job and made a mental note to award him one at a later date.

          “Okay, fine…but can we at least…” you paused, feeling a blush rush to your cheeks at what you were going to ask.

          “At least?”

          “Don’t make you say it,” you begged, getting on your hands and knees and crawling over to sit on his still, annoyingly clothed lap.

          He helped you settle on his legs and held onto your thighs to keep you close. you could feel his erection as hard as ever. It must be painful at this point. You ground your hips just once and he winced. Yeah, he was far too gone.

          You reached up to his lips and wiped some of your own slick from his skin with your thumb. You felt a bit bad at how covered he was. You wiped the thumb on his shorts at which he frowned before you reached up and kissed him softly. The taste of you on his lips was strange. You could never really tell how you felt about it but if one thing was for sure, you were lucky to have such a wonderful boyfriend.

          You managed to lick and kiss most of the moisture from his mouth before he spoke again.

          “Can I make love to you?”

          You blinked up at him, surprised. At this point, maybe you shouldn’t have been. He knew you like the back of his hand, or maybe even better than that. You mentally thanked him for saving you the awkwardness of asking for it and nodded your head vigorously.

          His dimples made an appearance as he very suddenly pulled you towards him and on to your back. You squealed, giddy to finally feel him inside you after so long. He let go of your legs and quickly, and might you add, very ungracefully, pushed his shorts and underwear off in one swoop.

          His shaft sprung up. The tip was a deep red and it leaked precum. You couldn’t help but lick your lips. It was thick and long. The kind of thing that you would expect to see in art or in paintings. It was ethereal. Delectable. How could you have let yourself be deprived of this view for so long?

          In an instant, you remembered the feeling of him inside you and your head reeled. If you remembered correctly, this was going to be a stretch.

          Namjoon climbed over you in the blink of an eye. You could tell he was excited because, well it was just something you knew. It was radiating from his body like an aura.

          “Do you think you’re ready,” he asked, kissing your forehead, then your hairline, ever so gently. He peppered kisses all over your face as a smile graced it. You grabbed a hold of his face in both hands and forced him to kiss your lips, which he did without argument.

          “You are too cute Joonie baby,” you mumbled against his lips before you let a hand trail down his toned chest, over his muscular but undefined abs and finally wrapped around his hardened member.

          His smile faltered for an instant, his erection twitched in your hand. You gave it a couple of slow and lavish pumps. You could see the fine hairs on his body stand on end at the sensation and you couldn’t help but giggle.

          “You’re killing me here,” he choked out through gritted teeth.

          “I’m sorry Joonie,” you lied, keeping your pace slow, “I just want to make sure that you’re ready as well.”

          You took his bottom lip between your teeth and sucked at it as you squeezed a little tighter around his rod still at the unbearable pace you had set. His body reacted accordingly. Shiver after shiver ran down his spine and his chest convulsed. Had he not jerked off either? He was so wound up.

          “Baby girl, please just let me get in there… I can’t take much more of this,” he whispered against your jaw, leaving a wet kiss before connecting his eyes to yours. you smiled kindly and aligned him with your entrance.

          As soon as you touched his tip to your middle, his shoulders seemed to tense further and you let go, letting him take over.  As if he had read your mind, he gently began to push himself deeper. Was it payback for jerking him off so slowly, or was he scared to hurt you? He was inching his way in so incredibly slow. you could feel every vein in his member, every stroke against your walls. It was both horrible, and amazing all at once.

          Finally, he bottomed out and despite how wet you were from your two orgasms, you felt tears prick your eyes. It had definitely been too long and you weren’t just talking about his member.

          You could feel it in your stomach and he pushed down your lower abdomen just so you could feel it better. This was another thing he was proud of. No one had gone as deep as him. He was by far, the longest and girthiest you had ever had and he always made sure you remembered it.

          A groan left his lips as he shifted his hips so you could feel him move inside of you. He wiped a tear away from your cheek and kissed the trail it had left behind.

          “You feel that baby girl,” he asked gently, “that’s all for you. Only for you.’

          He began to pull out at the same pace that he had impaled you and you whimpered, wanting…no needing more. He was almost fully pulled out before he slowly began to push back in.

          Namjoon grabbed the hand that had been jerking him off and replaced his hand on your stomach with it. Then that hand came up and gently gripped around your neck. Your heart skipped a beat.

          “How does that feel baby? Does it hurt?”

          “Yeah,” you nearly screamed and he stopped mid thrust. You could see the fear in his eyes as he looked all over your face for some sign of what he had done wrong.

          “It hurts because you’re going way too slow you doof,” you clarified, and he instantly relaxed.

          “You scared me, Y/N.”

          “Joonie please move faster,” you begged, ignoring his previous statement.

          He sighed which shook a little as your walls contracted around his length. His grip on your neck tightened with your muscles and a shock of pleasure ran through your stomach. You let an unsteady moan escape your lips which was swallowed up as he leaned down, his sex still only about a quarter of the way in, and traced your lips with his tongue.

          You clenched around him once again. He bit your upper lip roughly, then kissed it and your nose lightly. It was so confusing. The way he could be sickeningly sweet and at the same time be torturing you with his hands and his length. The mix of emotion made a fog in your head that kept you from seeing what was coming next.

          “I’ll move my love,” he whispered against the shell of your ear. Goosebumps erupted all over your body. You let your eyes shut to better appreciate all of the pleasure you were receiving , intoxicated with the scent of his skin, and the way that his voice floated into your ear.

          “If you say my name,” he whispered, licking the cartilage nearest his lips.

          You knew it would come to this. You’d been too mouthy. Too self-righteous. It had been a long time since we’d shared a bed this way and you let your eagerness and desperation get the best of you. Now, you were truly going to have to pay for it. That is, if you kept up your refusal to give him what he wanted. Would you really want to risk getting denied an orgasm just to keep up your brat routine?

          An mortified blush covered your cheeks up to your forehead. It wasn’t that it made you uncomfortable. It was a turn on to you too, but there was something embarrassing about calling him something so deeply fetishized. It sounded strange coming out of your mouth and made you cringe, but you knew that if you just gave him what he wanted, we would both be satisfied.

          “Yes daddy,” you whimpered.

          It happened in a millisecond. His hand squeezed around your windpipe, he bit down on your ear and he thrust his hip hard against your core.

          A muted cry was ripped from your vocal cords. His tip hit just as deep as it had the first time. You could feel it in your stomach. You never really thought that could be possible but here you were, and you couldn’t have been more wrong.

          Like a switch was flipped, he pounded into the wet mouth of your arousal, the slickness helping to keep it mostly painless. Still, the burn couldn’t be stopped as he stretched you farther than any fingers could. Moans fell from your lips like prayers. Namjoon grunted every time his hips met yours. A lewd clapping bounced off the walls.

          There was no stopping him now. It was like a magic word and you knew that as soon as you’d said it, there was no going back.

          Namjoon used the hand not around your neck to hold himself up and over you. Beads of sweat had started to form on his hair line with the effort he was exerting. A sexy wrinkle formed between his eyebrows as he squeezed his eyes shut. His breaths were coming out hard, and loud. He sounded like he was running a race and he was pushing himself to the end. It was music to your ears. Sounds more appealing than any symphony or singer you had ever heard.

          Maybe you had zoned out, because when you zoned back in, your voice was mixed in with his. His real name was mixed in with shouts of “more” and “don’t stop”. You knew that later, after it was all said and done, the noises you were making would haunt you, but in the moment, you pushed away your insecurities and focused on the feeling of being full.

          “Yes,” you gasped as he hit your g-spot, repeatedly on the way in and out. Gratification was flowing through you like a river.

          “Yes what Jagi,” Namjoon asked, readjusting himself onto his knees so he didn’t have to hold himself up.

          He grabbed onto one of your breasts and gave it a light squeeze before he flicked the nipple. Question forgotten, your breath caught in your throat but he abandoned your chest in favor of something lower. He traced lines into your stomach. Designs he’d come up on the spot that you’d have to remaster into a design of some sort if you still remembered them after you were done. It was beautiful. The way that you made love.

          Beautiful, how you  mixed together. A beautiful color that couldn’t be store bought or mass produced. It was you. Purely, and unequivocally you.

          You choked as his wandering hand found your clit once more, rubbing tight and precise circles. It was too much, and he knew this. His fingers on your pulse point, his index on your sensitive bud, and his member inside you. It was everything you could ask for, and when your body froze, tense from his caress, it was no surprise to either of you.

          “Namjoon,” you gasped as your walls convulsed around him, his speed even. It was getting harder to breath and it wasn’t because of the pressure on your windpipes but because once again, over stimulation was setting in. You winced as he pumped in and out at an inhumane speed. It was crazy. How could he hold himself off this long.

          “I’m almost there baby, where do you want me,” he asked, his voice hoarse and deep and gravely.

          “In-in me… I want you in me Joonie,” you panted.

          Was it slightly inconvenient to have his ejaculation inside you? Yes. Was it nice to be so wet after we had sex? No. Did you give a single crap in that moment? No. No,you didn’t. All you knew was that you needed him. You needed to feel like you were his and like before, this was something that only he had ever done to you and it made it special.

          As if that was all that he was waiting for, Namjoon stilled. His erection twitched inside you and then he came. He spilled into you. Hot and thick. you couldn’t help but let your eyes roll back into your head as his ejaculation dripped from your entrance. You squeezed around him just to try and help and were rewarded with a grunt of satisfaction.

          “Fuck Y/N,” he huffed, removing his hand from your neck and your core to help steady him. His length had started to soften and you could tell that, much like you, he was exhausted.

          He pulled out, wincing as the cold air hit his member.You, in turn, grimaced as his cum dripped down your thighs. You’d have to wash the bed sheets today.

          Namjoon laid down beside you. Your body bounced as he adjusted his body. He draped an arm around your waist, cuddling into your side. Your bodies stuck together. Sweat, and well…other liquids clung to your skin.

          You allowed yourself to relax into him for a couple of minutes. Your breathing pattern evened before you sighed happily and pushed him off of you. Namjoon whimpered as you carefully swung your legs over the edge of your bed. The uncomfortable feel of something flowing out  of you made you shiver.

          “Where are you going,” he asked in Korean. His tone whiney and you couldn’t stop yourself from glancing at him over your bare shoulder. His eyes were big and a small frown decorated his lips. He was too cute to handle.

          You planted a kiss on his frown before you turned back to the edge of the bed to press your legs together. Maybe it would stop the ejaculate.

          “I need to shower,” you reasoned, bracing yourself, knowing you would have to run to the restroom if you wanted to avoid having to mop the floor again.

          “Can’t we cuddle for a little while,” Namjoon begged but you just shook your head dreading what you knew was to come.

          “After we shower, yeah.”

          You felt him sit up behind you. He gently kissed your shoulder and wrapped his strong…muscular…arms…

          You blinked at his muscles around you like a deer in headlights but shook your head. You could still feel how tired your muscles were from what you had just done. You couldn’t do it this soon again.

          “Can I at least shower with you,” he asked, nuzzling into the back of your neck.

          “Yes, of course,” you said, reaching behind yourself and scratching his head. You felt him, rather than saw him, relax against your back and you smiled.

          “Are you less stressed,” he asked you and you sighed.

          “I feel alright, Joonie. Could you tell I was really stressed?”

          You turned to look at him. He had a knowing smirk on his face that made your blood boil and embarrassment pool in your belly. He grazed his lips over the damp skin that spanned under his finger and when he spoke, it was against the nerves on your body that stood on end for him.

          “You talk in your sleep sometimes,” he said matter-of-factly. You sighed. Given away by your subconscious.

          “Oh.”

          “Besides, I have been watching you grade papers. You get this cute little fold between your eyebrows when you’re thinking too hard,” he rested a finger against your forehead where he indicated and massaged it in little circles. You let your shoulders fall. Who did you think you were kidding?

          “I see… well I’m feeling a little better. Hopefully I can get some ideas to get my students to be more interested now that I’m not so wound up.”

          “You’re a fantastic teacher,” Namjoon reasoned stroking your slightly messy hair, “you’ll figure it out.”

          “Yeah… I know you’re right,” you sighed letting a comfortable silence fall between you. Your brain was buzzing once again but this time it wasn’t stressful. It was with ideas for your classroom. You smiled, feeling a weight being lifted from your shoulders.

          “I’m sure I’ll come up with something,” you shifted the conversation, “what about you? Any sudden inspiration for your lyrics?”

          He didn’t speak and his chest tensed behind you. You felt like you had popped the bubble you were in. you should have kept your mouth shut.

          “Yes actually,” he said but it didn’t feel directed at you. Within seconds, he’d let go of your body and was up, pulling on his boxers and looking for his phone. He frantically pulled up the notes app on it and typed furiously.

          The shock quickly melted into amusement. You giggled at how his fingers slid over the glass screen. His focus on his cell.

          “Well I’m glad I could help,” you said, finally standing up. you felt the liquid inside you shift and with a panicked last look at your inspired boyfriend, you ran to the restroom on the first floor.

          “I’ll be in the shower. Have fun writing,” you yelled.

           You thought you heard him say something but it was too muffled for you to understand. You didn’t wait for him to meet you in the bathroom. Instead, you jumped in,washing between your legs thoroughly and scrubbing your skin. When you were done, Namjoon was sitting on the floor of the living room. His laptop, journal and phone spread out on the coffee table. He had his airpods in and he was bobbing his head to something you couldn’t hear.

          You didn’t interrupt. Instead you looked over his makeshift workstation and smiled.  His journal was turned to one of the pages of lyrics that he’d been stuck on for months. Fresh ink rested on the browning lines and my heart soared. Turned out that our bad moods and mutual slumps were directly related to our lack of sexual life. Duly noting that fact, I kissed the top of his head and made my way back upstairs to get my bed sheets to wash, a smile plastered on my lips.

#kim namjoon smut #kim namjoon #kim namjoon imagine #bts #namjoon x reader #namjoon fluff #namjoon fluff smut

[arowrimo]

AroWriMo 2020 Writing

Here’s a masterpost of the 36 works from Aromantic Writing Month 2020 (under the cut)

Do share, like, and comment on the works you enjoy!

Poetry:

Screams by @exhausted-queer

Prompt: Self-love Language: English Words: 464 CWs: self harm, depression, death, grief, abuse, sex, sexual abuse

Let Me Be by Anon (via ask)

Theme: Loveless Prompt: Acceptance Language: English Words: 86 CWs: Ableism, Aphobia

Ballrooms and Waves by @aro-ace-and-hungry

Theme: Loveless Language: English Words: 655 CWs: Romance mention, Anxiety 

Loveless by @soph00bear

Theme: Loveless Language: English Words: 207 CWs: Aphobia mention, Arophobia mention

Am I A Monster? by @wish-ful-thinking513

Theme: Loveless Language: English Words: 157 CWs: Arophobia, Blood, Aphobia, Gore

Short stories:

Loveless by @kitkatt0430 Ao3 link

Original fiction Prompt: Acceptance Language: English Words: 753 CWs: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Unhappy relationship, Gaslighting,  Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Amatanormativity Summary:

She’s never been in love.  It’s an odd realization to have as she’s packing her things and he’s given up on asking her to stay. Now he just obstructs her on occasion, arguing that things which are hers are really his.

Some things are worth the effort to fight for. Others are not.

He is not.

Two by @junietuesday Ao3 link

Original fiction Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Prompt: Community, Acceptance Language: English Words: 953 CWs: Sex References (character is aroallo), Homophobia, Brief Mentions of Racism + Ableism, Internalized Amatonormativity Summary:

The girl is a loner.

Of her own will and desire, of course. Not because she’s a little too open about her opinions (particularly about romance), and a little too closed-off when they ask her why she has them. Not because she’s terrified what her fellow ninth graders will do to her when they realize she has no soulmark. Not because she figures that she might as well just push them away first, before they can push her.

To Unmask A Witch by @agnezztealeaf

Original fiction Language: English Prompt: Friendship Genre: Fantasy Words: 4457 CW: Discussions around amatonormativity and heteronormativity, references to blood and violence

Summary:

It wasn’t that the cottage at the outskirts of the village was actually run-down or dilapidated, but if you squinted and looked at it through your eyelashes in dim light, you could imagine that it could be. It wasn’t that it was a ruckle, it was that the children thought it should be one.

You see, if a witch lived in a cottage, then that cottage should be falling apart, its windows murky with mould, the roof broken and roof shingles scattered on the garden path and in the flowerbeds, and the garden a mess of weeds and rotting greens. It felt insulting, the children thought, that an otherwise perfectly scary and threatening witch should live in such a charming and well-kept little house. So, when they hid in the forest near the cottage, staking it out, or walked past it on their way to a friend’s house, they squinted and imagined what should have been there, instead of what really was.

Annie of Anglesey by @writelikeanaro

Original fiction Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Prompt: Self-love Genre: Historical fiction/folk tale Words: 4,676 CWs: Past marriage, Unwanted romantic interest, Public proposal, Grief

Summary:

Annie is living quite happily alone in the mountains, when the king comes to her for aid in a competition. Hoping to get something for herself out of the situation, she agrees to help him.

Seed of A Memory by @skylights422

Original fiction Language: English Theme: Subverting Romantic Tropes, Fantasy Prompt: Friendship Genre: Fantasy, Drama Words: 1907 CWs: Brief mentions of racism and arophobia

Summary:

Fiera Casales takes a stroll with her pretend boyfriend and ponders the importance of things like love and memory. 

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot by @wellintentionedbibliophile

Original fiction Language: English Theme: Subverting Romantic Tropes Prompt: Friendship Genre: Fiction Words: 1088 CWs: Breakup, End of the World, Neopronouns

We’re not quite a gang (more like a strange family) by @amanita-cynth Ao3 link

Original fiction Language: English Category: Short Stories Prompt: Friends and Pride Genre: Superheroes/Slice of Life Words: 5232 CWs: Background romantic relationship mentioned, discussion of aphobia and amatonormativity, bomb mention

Summary:

Some scars aren’t physical and can be all the worse for it. But maybe a woman brimming with her own hard-won self confidence and the new friends they pick up afterwards can help Allen overcome the hurtful words from his past. After all, if a dozen new friends think you’re great and a literal god chose you as a Champion it shouldn’t be so hard, right?

“Oh.” He blinked. “People usually say it’s weird that I don’t want people- women- flirting with me.”

“Boundaries are boundaries.” She waved a hand dismissively. From the depths of her hood, her eyes gleamed with light from a passing car and briefly lit up more details; the casual ease of her expression, her slightly lidded eyes, the soft curves of her warm, brown face. Shame it didn’t do much for him beyond the realisation that she really was that nonchalant about it, and also quite beautiful.

And A Monster Steals Your Children by @arosnowflake

Original fiction Language: English Prompt: none/belonging (loosely) Genre: Fantasy Words: 2170 CWs: heavy ableism (including internalized ableism), off-screen child murder, ableist language, mild amatonormativity.

Summary:

It is said that, in a tower rising above the valley, a monster lives, and that it steals children’s souls. Netel, one of those stolen children, goes to kill it.

Untitled by @wish-ful-thinking513

Original fiction Language: English Genre: Sci-fi Words: 951 CWs: Needles, injections

Summary:

This is a short story based on a prompt from @lgbtqwritingprompts. I don’t usually write sci-fi, so this was a fun change… I feel like it was obvious that science isn’t really my thing though. I tried to keep stuff vague (ie: are clones human??? The more I thought about it, the less sure I was)… well,  I tried my best!

November: The Hell Week to End All Hell Weeks by @eadrey-the-iptscray Ao3 link

Fandom: Pacific Rim (2013) Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Prompt: Community and acceptance Genre: Slice of life Words: 2,776 CWs: Bigotry mentions, light marital romance

Summary:

The Shatterdome baristas meet the regulars. Teasing, pranks, and awkward small talk ensue.

Traditional by @amanita-cynth Ao3 link

Fandom: Leverage Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Prompt: Acceptance Genre: Character study Words: 1393 CWs: References to sex (aro character is aroallo), romantic relationship in the background and referred to, marriage mentioned

Summary:

Eliot doesn’t so much fall in love as come to the realisation that he’s going to die for them.

Or: How Eliot learns some new things about himself and Parker and Hardison learn just how to stay with him.

February - Leap Year Sucks by @eadrey-the-iptscray Ao3 link

Fandom: Pacific Rim (2013) Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Prompt: Family and self-love Genre: Slice of life Words: 2,866 CWs: Lingering grief over a parent’s death, light marital romance

Summary:

The Shatterdome baristas and regulars slog through a soggy February with all kinds of struggles. At least they've got each other to commiserate with.

Skywalker by @kitkatt0430 Ao3 link

Fandom: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy Language: English Prompt: Family Words: 2,964 CWs: Major character death, indentured servitude/slavery

Summary:

Rey’s family was never coming back for her.  In learning to accept this and move on, Rey builds herself a whole new family, one choice at a time.

A Place to Start by @kitkatt0430​ Ao3 link

Fandom: Supergirl (TV 2015) Relationships: Kara Danvers/James “Jimmy” Olsen Language: English Prompt: Acceptance Words: 2,993 CWs: Break up

Summary:

“I’m doing that thing again,” Kara told the duck. It ignored her for the corn. “Always happens. I was trying so hard not to do it this time, but there it goes. Happening all over again.”

(In which Kara doesn’t need Alex to tell her that dating James is making her miserable.  But she does wish someone would tell her why every time she starts dating someone, her romantic feelings fizzle out shortly afterwards.)

The Only Trope for Me is You by @tommytonebender​ Ao3 Link

Fandom: The Venture Bros Relationships: Billy Quizboy/Pete White Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Genre: Supernatural, character study Words: 4,338 CWs: Discussions of amatonormativity, non-explicit sexual humor, most references are there to make fun of fanfic tropes, language, brief heavy themes.

Summary:

Supernatural forces ensnare our heroes, forcing them to… have a grown-up conversation? [A fake episode B-Plot]

April - Confessions and Epiphanies by @eadrey-the-iptscray Ao3 link

Fandom: Pacific Rim (2013) Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Prompt: Friendship and pride Genre: Slice of life Words: 2,261 CWs: Martial affection and love confessions

Summary:

Finally, communication!

Miss You by Dain Ao3 link

Fandom: Star Wars Original Trilogy Language: English Prompt: Friendship Words: 484

Summary:

Luke huffed. “Maybe I don’t want to leave.”

“You do,” Biggs said. “You know it’s worth it. You’ll do fine.”

Baby I’m Not Made of Stone, It Hurts  by @emjenwrites​ Ao3 link

Fandom: Peaky Blinders BBC Language: English Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Character Study Words: 22.6K (only the first 1.7K on tumblr, follow the links to AO3 for the rest) CWs: romance (character is demiromantic), implied/referenced sexual content, implied/referenced pedophilia (basically the same level of implication as canon), implied/referenced suicide, one instance of antiziganism, internalized arophobia (so much internalized arophobia), arophobia, self-hatred, canon-typical language, child abuse, parentification, codependency, prostitution, kidnapping, emetophobia, PTSD, traumatic brain injuries, headaches and migraines

Summary:

Things with the Russians and Section D had started bad and ended worse, and that was before Polly, Arthur, John, and Michael went and got fucking arrested. Or Tommy Shelby grapples with loneliness, guilt, health issues, and romantic orientation in the aftermath of s3.

Unease by Dain Ao3 link

Fandom: Star Wars Original Trilogy Language: English Words: 1,227 CWs: One-sided attraction, Unwanted romantic interest

Summary: Beritt was new, and not in Luke’s squadron, but you got to know people. There’d been barely anything to do for the last week but mingle.

Which would have been enjoyable, if not for the fact that Beritt was…interested in Luke.

July - Come Back Home, And Soon by @eadrey-the-iptscray Ao3 link

Fandom: Pacific Rim (2013) Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Prompt: Belonging and comfort Genre: Slice of life Words: 1,271 CWs: None

Summary:

Summer break means quiet days at The Shatterdome and the same old conversations with family.

The Only Demons Here are Mine by @amanita-cynth Ao3 link

Fandom: One Piece Language: English Prompt: Belonging and Comfort Genre: Character/Relationship Study Word count: 3048 Content warnings: Mental health issues including dissociation and suicidal thoughts and ideation. Medical/bodily things discussed. Spoilers for Law’s backstory and violence therein.

Summary:

But he’d said it, hadn’t he, at Dressrosa? That if it all went wrong Law wanted to die by his side. Naturally, it had been 80% about Doflamingo, but there had been a part of him screaming: he’s here and in danger because of you, because he does the right thing just because he can, because he is selfish and insanely determined about those he calls friends and you knew that and still let him get close, because he looked at you and called you a good man and the least you can do for someone like that is die alongside them.

Or: dealing with a pirate war and a sudden lack of life goals is bad enough without trying to figure out confusing new feelings.

Chapter 2 of The Coffee Shop AU by @theinvisiblegurlz

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Movie Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Genre: Coffee shop AU CWs: Amatonormativity mention Summary:

A non-romantic coffee shop AU.

To Our Future by Dain Ao3 link

Fandom: Star Wars Original Trilogy Language: English Word count: 999 Content warnings: Grief, Anxiety

Summary:

Luke couldn’t keep the smile off his face.It was such a simple expression; the flexing of a few muscles, and not nearly enough to give full voice to his soaring, unrestrained joy, the lightness and fullness of spirit that made him ache until he thought he might burst with the strength of it.

Microfiction:

Rain by @wellintentionedbibliophile​

Original fiction Language: English Genre: Science fiction Word count: 319 CWs: none

Novel:

The Crystal Heart  by @twilight-lukos

Language: English Theme: Fantasy Genre: Speculative Fiction / Fantasy

Excerpt 1


Word Count: 931 CWs: Feeling pressure to choose a romantic partner

Summary:

Prince Haraq visits Princess Chareith, who has a reputation for being difficult to suitors. The two bond over a legend Chareith loves about the lost Crystal Island. Haraq expresses interest in her opinions but shows no romantic interest.

Excerpt 2

Words: 695 CWs: none

Summary:

After Chareith expresses her frustrations, Haraq suggest the two sneak out for a day and do some exploring. Chareith agrees, thinking to find some interesting relics in the nearby desert and marsh, maybe in relation the legend of the Crystal Island.

Excerpt 3

Words: 587 CWs: feelings of forced romantic normalcy or amatonormativity

Summary:

While on a secret outing, Chareith is abducted by a sorcerer and taken to an isolated tower with a mysterious history. The sorcerer tells Chareith that she has magical potential. Finding this to be true, she wonders what this means for her now.

Excerpt 4

Words: 846 CWs: none


Summary:

While on a secret outing, Chareith is abducted by an invisible, flying creature. Haraq sets out to find her. The stone fragment he and Chareith found has led him into a strange place, bordered by mist. A/N: this occurs before Excerpt #3; I wasn't going to post this but I've had it all nicely prepped to go since early February and I did want to share it, even if it's vaguer about the aromantic angle in-story

Non-fiction:

Aromantic Writing Month! by @anonymousaroace​

Language: English Theme: Acceptance Words: 487

Kricket’s First Zine by @autcore​ Direct link

Language: English

Summary:

Super short aro perzine about questioning and being lonely whilst aro

Game:

To Be Aspected (WIP) by @anonymaceally​ Latest update itch.io game link

Ally submission Language: English Theme: Fantasy Prompt: Mythos, fables Genre: Friend sim/Fantasy CWs: Some unwanted flirting. Discussions about gender and sexual identity. Adult language and situations like taxes. Content might be unfinished.

Summary:

The reader walks into a tavern owned by a squad of Aces called “Queen Anne’s Ace” . The reader stays for a week and enjoys has interesting conversations with the patrons there.

#aro #arospec #aromantic #writing #writeblr #AroWriMo 2020 #Masterpost #if anything's missing #or anyone wants info adding/updating #just let me know

[derenger]

Growing up, parenting and gaming - Longread on life, computer games and finding yourself

This longread is dedicated to and written for all those current and former kids, who had or have troubles growing up, taking decisions, finding themselves in the world they live in, who play games independently of age and – perhaps – have not lost their love for a good game, good times and good buddies.

Perhaps it will help someone in their life. If that happens – I shall think of this writing as useful and my time writing it as not completely wasted.

The ideas have been on my mind for over 2 years now (they started getting very clear when I started doing therapy) and I have to put them on paper now.

Here it goes.

I grew up in the 90s in Eastern Europe. After the USSR collapsed millions of people found themselves without work, perspectives and means of existence. We were lucky that my dad had a good job that was paid in hard currency, however he was barely home – and by that I mean like seeing him 2 or 3 times a month.

We had good living conditions compared to others and my mom did the best she could too take care of my younger bro and me.

The first time we were exposed to computer games was when I was like 7 and my bro was 5 – in the office where the boyfriend of our aunt has been working. We played Dangerous Dave, Scorched Earth, Socoban, Digger, Civilization, The Incredible Machine and some others I do not recall the names. And of course, we liked it and it did not take long for our dad to install them on his PC at home. 2 years later my best buddy got Doom 2 installed on his PC and that was the absolute blast. We spent weeks trying to figure out how to get through level 2 and it was a big holiday when our buddy finally did.

My dad tried to restrict TV and computer time per week, so we always opted for the PC. Over time I learned to turn it on by myself and play when there was no one at home. My dad did not know.

A couple of our friends had 8bit consoles - soviet bootlegs of Super Nintendoes, with TMNT and Chip n Dale, but that was probably it. After all, we were living in a small village with not that many possibilities to make money.

When I was 10 we moved to a bigger city into a 1 room apartment. All 4 of us. This was 1996. 2 other very important things:

We started going to a far bigger school than before, where the mood was totally different from what we were used to. We were bullied and beaten, could not get along with other pupils and teachers and no one actually cared.

Father was home every day.

We started going to a far bigger school than before, where the mood was totally different from what we were used to. We were bullied and beaten, could not get along with other pupils and teachers and no one actually cared.

Father was home every day.

I mean, father was present home every day. It is not like he spent time with us doing sports or whatever. He just had any idea what to do with us as this was his first long time exposure to kids in the 11 years we were a family.

He was more of an authoritarian guy – we were not supposed to waste time in gaming clubs, listen to stupid music (Prodigy, Beastie Boys), we should have studied well, read books, have been doing sports and in general act like good kids.

We were doing some martial arts sports cause mom brought us there. We were taking music classes cause “everyone has to”. We were supposed to help out at home. We were not supposed to hang out with “bad” kid or stay outside till late hours. We were not supposed to smoke, swear and simulate illness to miss classes. We were not supposed to get into trouble.

It is not like we were putting a lot of thought into it. We just moved to the city from rural area and frankly speaking were absolutely not happy about. I guess we just went with the flow.

This was also the time when the first “gaming spot” in town opened – they had 2 Sega Mega Drives II and 1 Sony PlayStation. MK3, MK3 Ultimate, Contra Hard Cops, Golden Axe, some samurai fighting games for the Sega. SPS – Red Alert, Twisted Metal, Duke Nukem, Doom and of course – an incredible breakthrough for its time – Quake 2. And that was a revelation. I recall mom giving us money from time to time. To go play. Sega cost like 1 buck and hour, SPS – 1,5 bucks – far more expensive, so we played mainly on Sega.

At the same time we did have some games at home – Doom, Power Formula 1, Lines, the same Civilization, Lion King, Alladin, Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, Gods and Dune 2000. Dad did not want to allow us play games. Like, at all. Don’t ask me why he never deleted the games. The PC was mainly used for him to work. So when he left home, he took the power cable of the monitor and closed it in his spare suitcase. What we did was to unplug the cable from the printer and use for the monitor. Later on he hid both cables – from the monitor and the PC in the suitcase. I found a way to open the suitcase with a very fine flat screwdriver. Mom hid the fact from our dad for a while until he noticed the suitcase was “broken”. I believe they did not speak with each other for a week. But I am still proud of the fact of cracking that suitcase! Fuck yeah!

Things started getting worse when I transferred to a lyceum - 1998. I was 12. This was like a gymnasium for hardcore science-kids, where they went deep into math and natural sciences. I was hysterical the first 2 years as I was barely making the program. Even my dad had troubles solving the math they gave us. Music classes turned to shits. I had no time nor mood for sport. But I had to keep doing it all. Just because. There were a couple of bullies in class, whose parents bribed the management of the school so that their kids would have fancy graduation papers at the end and frankly speaking no one could get a grip on them. That had me very depressed.

Around 13 I started stealing money from my parents and missing classes to go to computer clubs – their number was getting bigger every week, consoles started to disappear. Half Life, CS 1.6, Age of Empires 2, Q3, D2 1.07, Black and White, SimCity 2000, NOX, StarCraft Brood War and many other games had our full attention. The biggest part of it was the fact you could play with or against your friends! That was so fucking awesome! At the same time I started discovering sci-fi and rock music, but that is a different story.

We stole a lot of money from our parents in those times and missed a lot of classes and of course after 3 or 4 months it all got revealed. Boy oh boy our dad smoked us. That was very very tough for a kid when all the things he actually liked were taken from him. Dark times when we were seriously asking ourselves what the hell our parents wanted from us as aside from the stuff they told us to do they never really told us what was it for. Everything else was useless, stupid or waste of time.

Somehow my marks at school got better closer to graduation and I graduated almost with a medal, went to university. I remember they had this PC club with like 200 PCs and from time to time we skipped one or the other lecture to play Starcraft or CS, but very quickly boozing with buddies became the major leisure activity and pushed gaming to the back. I did pretty well at the university, made my master with excellence and that was it – 6 years flew by in a blink of an eye.

I got my own PC during the first year at the uni, played a bit of Warcraft 3, HOMM 3, Quake 3, Lineage II but it was not like I was deep into that. I remember after defending my master I spent like 3 days playing Crysis without anyone saying a word. I mean, I was through with the university. I was free!

Soon after that I went on to work abroad as a project engineer in the chemical industry.

At the moment I am doing sales engineer for a good salary in Berlin, I am married and except for the Corona and all the restrictions it brought life seems ok.

During the last 10 years of my “adult” life I have been in many different situations. I have been very sick a couple of times, running on the edge of life and death. I have been in some useless relations that only drained energy and nerves from me. I also have been diagnosed with depression and burnout at some point, did therapy and consider myself fully recovered from both. I’ll be summarizing it all below.

When I look at my life it did occur to me that gaming was far more important than just the sheer desire to shoot buddies and skip school.

Growing up under the conditions where everything is predetermined one does not really get the chance to expose your own wish. After all, my parents both come from very unhappy families and did not have the exactly best examples of parenting.

It occurred to me that they never really cared about anything we achieved – whether in school, music or sports. I recall a couple of times when I did really good, like winning the City-contest in English language or getting my first “good” in algebra in 7th grade as that shit was extremely tough. I do not recall any reaction. In fact, mom and dad put their close attention to us only when things started getting really bad, like when we were skipping classes or got arrested for setting up fireworks in a crowded place. We never really got any positive feedback for anything we did because our parents just had no idea how to do that. I do not blame them – they were trying their best from their own experience.

And gaming was the absolute opposite to all of that.

Going to computer clubs we knew exactly that we were surrounded by like-minded lads. We made some good friends along the way – lads, who were always ready to jam on de_dust or bring their D2 chars to share some loot. One of the owners of the club had a daughter who was really good in Q3 – I remember everyone has been looking at her like she was some sort of demigod. The games gave us the space and playground we needed so much – clear even rules for everyone. If you frag – you win. If you don’t – you lose. If you suck – the older guys would always help with a couple of tips. Games also gave us control. I really liked the games where you went on an adventure, like NOX or Will Rock or serious Sam. Gaming also gave us the space to take our own decisions and suffer the full consequences if these were wrong – getting overrun by zerglings or getting fragged with rocket launcher with QUAD DAMAGE.

Gaming clubs were our safe space. At some point our dad did raid the computer clubs and did bust us a couple of times. Sure we got beaten on those occasions.

I recall my bro being very proud on getting 1st in the national 2v2 ladder in SC:BW later in the uni. He also used to game the whole night long at my parents place. This was over 10 years ago and they still do not know. He is still very good in SC though he does not play anymore.

I do play sometimes – currently grinding D2 and refreshing my knowledge in chess. I do not have more time for any other more or less serious game.

I am slowly approaching the point where I should write a conclusion – it is going to be quite simple. Gaming was the first opportunity to take my life into my own hands. It took me 32 years of my own life to find the power in me to take responsibility for myself and not to rely on someone else. My decision – my choice – my consequences. It took a lot of trouble and turmoil for me to get to this point and finally embracing the power within feels great. It was also the first surrounding of dudes just like me, which was a very good feeling back then.

During the last 6 months I switched to a job that pays almost the double of my previous one, my wife moved in with me from abroad, we have a nice apartment and are looking forward to vacations in the Alps. I still have to find a way to approach my parents though I am not sure the old hive is worth disturbing. I guess time will tell.

Whenever I am down or things do no go according to play – I do turn to gaming occasionally, just to get back into the world where I am in full control. It gives me power and I guess hope that everything will work out. If not now – then over time. You just have to keep practicing. And ask for help when it is needed.

I hope you found this read interesting.

#life #gaming #adulthood #friends

[reactionsfromapenofastay]

Stray Kids reaction to finding out that their S/O is American and a ‘02 liner

Chan:

You two were on a café date, sipping warm drinks, sharing loving kisses, and just chatting in general when you drop the facts 

Without any content It just slipped out, right out of the blue 

Not like you wanted to keep it a secret or anything 

It just somehow happened to be that you guys had never been talking about your age, or the country you'd been born 

 So now that you told him, you felt a little silly 

Because oh God, you guys literally knew which floor wax the other one used, or how much the other one usually sneezed in one row 

But you'd never told him how old you exactly were, and which country you were from  

So needless to say, you were quite embarrassed

 Speaking of Chan, he was surprised, yes but it was far from the main feelings he felt 

 He wasn't really shaken up by the fact that you were literally five years younger than him 

 I mean we all know how serious Chis can be, and that he needs times when he can be mature and all 

But at the same time, he's a big dork, playing and goofing around 80% of the day 

And because of this he'd never really thought about your age 

Of course, he'd known that you'd been younger than him since the beginning 

 But the age difference had never been conspicuous for him 

 Because when you acted like a child, and were playful, he played with you with just as much joy, and enjoyment 

 And when you were mature, and serious he did just the same 

 Age didn't really matter him, when it came to love, when it came to you 

 And he didn't hesitate to assure you of it, right than, and there, in that little cafeteria 

The country you'd been born in...it was a whole other case 

Because damn! This boy was so freaking hyped about it 

 Especially if you'd spoken to him in Korean before 

Than he would've been astonished like 

 "Whaaaaaaaat?! You've been fluent in english this whole time, and you've never told me!?" 

He would've maybe laughed a little in relief and said something like 

"Thank God. This means I won't forget it." 

 If you'd spoken to him in your mother language before, he wouldn't have been that surprised but he would've been still excited and asked a bunch of questions like 

"What are you eating for breaki?" 

"Are guns really legal and Kinder Surprise banned?"

 "Have you ever met Brad Pitt?" 

"So how is this Thanksgiving thing going there?" 

 Because he loves visiting new places, and learning about new cultures 

 So be prepared for a LOT of questions 

Woojin:

 Okay, so let's just pretend we are in 2020-21 or so 

Because honestly, I don't think he'd want more than friendship from an under-aged person, even if he liked them or something 

Your age were something he knew from the start 

For the example, because you two had been close friends before you actually got together 

Or because he asked you on the first date, or when you guys first met 

It's just something he really needed to know

 And when you told him he was relieved 

 "Oh thank God, you're not ten years younger than me. I don't know what I would do, if you were." 

 But also tensed up a little bit 

Because your five years minus meant that he was responsible for your health, your well being, your studies, your money, your pets and your whole being altogether 

 At least this is how he saw the things 

 Because you were still a baby in his eyes

 Not like a child, he didn't treat you like one 

 But like a baby, who can break in two, or get hurt easily 

 And if something had happened to you, he would've never forgive himself, believe me

( So please take a good care of yourself, for his sake at least)

Sometimes you needed to remind him that you were not his little sister 

And he would've learnt, and let you look after yourself time to time

 However, he would've still felt extremely guilty and upset if something had happened to you 

 In times, like this, he needed your comfort more than anything 

He needed to know that you didn't blame him at all 

 He would make the bestest mental support team, fight me 

 You'd always known that you could lean on him 

Also, being American meant that you had a lot of knowledge of another country, which made him curious 

 He understands English better than how he speaks it 

So I think besides that it would be a good chance to improve his skills 

He would listen to you, and then answer in Korean, or gesticulate it to you, if you didn't understand the language well 

Which usually caused you two burst into laughter 

Minho:

You were walking out of the bathroom, feeling clean and fresh, your hair tied up in a bun and the sleeves of your pajamas slightly wet

“Just a typical, Tuesday night”; you thought, making your way into your bedroom that you that you shared with a boy, and three cats

But as soon as you entered the place, you immediately realized that this evening was not about to be a typical one

Because Minho, your entierly perfect boyfriend, looked more familiar with a ghost, than a human right now

He sat on the edge of the bed, with one leg hanging in the air, the other one crossed underneath it

He leaned forward, his back making a bow, and he stared at the thing in his hands, which happened to be your phone

He didn’t blink

He didn’t move at all

And this was the thing that scared you the most

“Minho sweety...? Are you okay...?” you asked hesitatingly, still standing in the door-frame, not sure whether you should take a step forward, or not

The boy in front of you lift his head up SLOWLY, still not blinking though, and it seemed like his mind was not really there with you

“Why is your cousin wishing you a happy 17th birthday?”  - he asked, his voice blunt

“Maybe, because he forgot that it’s going to be next week...?”

“No. Why is he wishing you a happy SEVENTEENTH birthday?” -  you became more confused with every second that passed

“Because this is going to be my 17th birthday?” - you asked carefully. - “Are you sure you’re fine?”

“17th...17th...17th...” - was all he was able to say, and it took him at least an hour to process the new informations

But when he did, he became all soft in a second

Like I can feel him, protecting you, and treating you the way he’s protecting, and treating his cats

With all of his strength and love

He hadn’t had any problem, or difficulty with the age difference between you before

And he wasn’t going to have one now

He was a 4D boy, but he could get serious when it was needed, so it really didn’t take any effort for him, to get on you well

And when you informed him that you were American, he almost fainted in excitement (because he forgot to breath lol)

He was all around you, telling you about his thoughts and experiences of America

And asking you questions

He also phoned your parents, asking them if it was okay for you to visit

Let’s just say, you had to start packing in an instant

Changbin:

Another one who’d known your age from the start

And oh boy, did he take advantage of it

He loved to be the one in the role

And he loved playing around, and teasing you about your age

Sometimes running up to you, and taking something, for the example a hair tie from you, saying

“Oh noooo baby, that’s too heavy for you! Let me carry it.”

Or changing channels during a kiss scene explaining his act with the line:

“My baby can’t watch mature content.” - and he looked at you with puppy eyes, as he said it in a high pitched voice

Oh how much could it drive you crazy...

But you couldn’t hate him for it, because he teased you in such an adorable, loving way

To tell the truth he wanted to show you how much he cared, he wanted to spoil you with all of his love and affection

But his pride was too big sometimes, so he kept hiding his feelings behind teasing you

Don’t worry though, he’d never babied you for real

He let you make decisions, because he knew that you could take the responsibilities, and deal with the consequences whether they were good or bad

But any time you did something maturely, or tried to lead things on your own, he went like

“Omo! Am I not supposed to be the older one?” -  and poked your side jokingly

But as much as he loved to be in control, you being the dominant one was a HUGE turn on for him

(Not in a nasty way, I’m a soft stan khmmm... )

It was more like...him being filled with pride towards you, and feeling the urge to boast about you to everyone in near

Like you did something, for the example won a competition, or spoke up for someone, and he immediately went like

“Hey, hey! Can you see her? Her, right there with the beautiful eyes! Yes! Did you see what she did? Amazing right? And she’s mine! My girl!” 

The fact that you were American could amaze him within a second

Like, you could get him off his feet with it

Melting his heart with your English speaking

I can see him being all soft, and drift away in the way you speak, at the point where he couldn’t even tell what you’d been talking about before

“Binnie? Did you even hear a word I said?”

“Sorry baby, what?”

And you just rolled your eyes, but couldn’t manage to hide your smile

Because he was like a little child, he literally drank up your words

Hyunjin:

You guys were in a water park, and you were beyond excited

Because one, it was your first date out of the city with Hyunjin

Because two, he promised you that he was going to teach you how to swim which you’d been eager to learn for a while now

And of course you got the chance to see Hwang Hyunjin without his shirt on…I

meeeaaaaaann…you get me, right?

So there you were, standing in the queue with a familiar tightness in your stomach as the sign of excitement and a little bit of nervousness

And that’s when Hyunjin saw it

You needed to show your ID card for paying, which got your birth date on it

Hyunjin didn’t say anything, he just let his angelic smile spread across his face, ear to ear

He’d always treated you like a princess, a princess of his, but this fact made you even cuter, and more adorable in his eyes

He hadn’t been able to tell that you’d been younger he had to admit that

He’d always got on with you so well, there had never been akwardness or any kind of uncomfortable feeling in your relationship with each other

You didn’t realize that he noticed at first though

But the tiniest things…that was what you noticed, slowly, day by day

Hyunjin’d always been a boyfriend material, taking care of you, comforting you, protecting you when you needed it

But also gave you space to deal with things on your own

But after getting this knowledge he somehow became even more thoughtful towards you, and even sweeter

Which you didn’t really know how was possible

But he somehow managed to do it

His affection manifested sometimes in the tiniest ways but it made you feel so loved and warm

You started to get little notes with sweet messages and cute drawings whenever you had an exam, or had something in your life which made you extremely stressed

This boy made sure you didn’t overwork yourself and that you had an at least 8 hour sleeping session every day

And he packed an extra bottle of water and some junk food for you every day

And if you hadn’t finish them by the end of the day, he would’ve made the saddest, and the most upset face possible

Which would’ve instantly caused you eating, or drinking up the leftovers

When he learned that you were American, he got sooooooo excited

He’d lived in Las Vegas for a while, so he had some experiences, and a bunch of topics to talk about

Like food, society, culture, transport

Places he’d used to go

His English had never been bad, but it got to improve a lot by you

And he was so thankful for it

Because not only could he communicate with you better

But he also got the chance to talk with international fans easier

But as much as he loved to speak with you in English

He also helped you with Korean, being happier than ever to be able to do something for you

Jisung:

When you told Jisung that you were a ‘02 liner, you didn’t really think that much of it

Like it was just a number, a fact about you

Oh but Jisung did

First of all because he’d somehow thought that you were older than him

Not with ages, but definitely older

You’d always been so mature

Not that you couldn’t have fun, because you definitely could

With Jisung it was a common thing

But you had so “complicated” thoughts about serious things

You used your words so wisely

Let’s just say, you were intelligent and well educated

Jisung just couldn’t think about you as someone younger

He even called you Noona sometimes

“What do you mean you’re younger than me, Noona?” - he asked wide eyed when you told him

You couldn’t help, but laugh

You didn’t changed in his eyes though

He loved you, and appriciated you just as much as before

The only thing that changed, that he got worried more, and easier about you

And he started to look after you more careful

Not in an annoying way

He didn’t coo whenever you breathed, and he didn’t follow you everywhere

But he made sure that you were okay, that you had everything you wanted

It didn’t matter what it was

If you wanted a hug, you got it

If you wanted kisses, you got it

If you wanted him to rap you to sleep...well...you got it

He talked with you about America A LOT

And he also liked to challenge himself in English

This caused a lot of funny situations

Especially when he was struggling with words, and didn’t know how to express himself

But he got better as days went by

And when he first helped a tourist to find the square they were looking for, you couldn’t be prouder of him

It didn’t take more than five minutes and the whole Entertainment knew about what he just did

Felix:

You were in the kitchen, pacing from one counter to the other, your hands full with cooking stuffs, your phone stucked between your ear and your shoulder

You’d wanted to cook something for days now, and since you were both pretty sweet toothed with your boyfriend, you’d thought that you’d could make something together

And this was totally fine, but knowing you two, the chances of a fire, a food fight, and a disaster were equally high, so you tried to get the most important things in the kitchen escaped with all your strength

And you were doing fine so far, but holding your phone with your shoulder started to get kind of uncomfortable, so you got into action

“Sorry y/f/n, can I put you on the speaker? My hands are kind of full right now.” - you said in your mother language, since your friend who you were talking to, was also from America

“Of course.” - she said laughing as well, and you let out a relieved sigh, as you somehow managed to push the right button, and put your mobile on the desktop, as you kept searching for the things you needed.

“What are you doing, though?”

“I’m trying to find the sugar. We’re gonna make something really sweet and unhealthy with my boyfriend.” -  you explained and you opened the fridge, and also closing it, remembering that the sugar was usually not there.

“Or something really burned.” - your friend’s laugh filled the room, and you giggled along with her.

“You’re probably right.” -  you agreed.

“Back to your boyfriend.” -  you rolled your eyes, smiling. Your friends kept asking you about him, but you couldn’t say too much, since the relationship of you two, had been not known by the public yet.

“You’re always so secretive. I don’t even know his name.” - you turned around, looking for a bowl now. And that was when you saw him, standing in the kitchen door, like he’d been glued there.

“Or how he looks like.”

“How he looks like?” -  you grinned widely, looking straight into Felix’s wide eyes.

“He has big, beautiful, deep brown eyes.”  - you got raptures over your boyfriend’s visuals.

“Long, blonde hair. Not extremely long though.”-  you explained.

“Rather the ‘I can run my fingers through it’ kind of long.” - you heard as your friend inhaled sharply on the other side of the line.

“His skin is flawless, he has freckles, his nose is literally the cutest, he has full lips, and the sweetest smile in the entire universe.”

“Okay, stop!” - your friend laughed.

“Stop, or else I have to go there, and steal him.”

“I’m sorry but I think I’m gonna keep him” - you giggled softly.

“Actually he’s standing right here, and it looks like I managed to shook him, soo...”

“Okay, I’ll call you back later.” - your friend got your hint in a second, and after a sweet bye, she hung up the phone.

And that was when you looked at Felix more carefully, and what you saw had stolen your breath away for a second.

The boy was slightly but sternly trembling from head to toe, tears welled up in his eyes - probably thanks to your little rambling about him- his mouth hung open, and he got this lost puppy face which instantly caused you to go in awe. You really had shooked him.  

“You...you...” - he tried to say, but his own throat failed him, when his voice cracked. And that was more than enough for you to run up to him, close him in your arms tightly, and cover his face in kisses.

“Oh baby, I’m sorry!” - you said feeling a little guilty, but not really knowing why.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” - you whispered in his neck, and you pressed a light kiss, on the soft skin. He shivered. You were still speaking in English but you didn’t even notice at this point

“No...I...” - his low voice gave you goosebumps. “YOU CAN SPEAK ENGLISH!?” - he yelled as the realization hit him. His voice was not angry at all, rather extremely surprised. But the sudden outburst still caused you to flinch back a little. And when he saw this, his tone of voice immediately softened.

“Oh my Gosh, sorry.” - he said, also in English, and you melted back into his arms.

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just...” - he frowned, still struggling with words. “How can you speak English do well...?” - you chukled a little, smiling up at him.

“I’m American.”

“YOU’RE A WHAT?!” - you flinched again. “Oh...sorry...I don’t...I’m...I just...I...” - he mumbled out, trying to make an understandable sentence, but failing continuously.You’d watched him for a few seconds before started laughing. He joined you too, not finding any other way to express his feelings. You laughed along with each other, as you grabbed his hand and dragged towards the couch. You were about to get into a really interesting conversation. 

Oh my God, he loved it soooo much that you were younger than him

Not just because he found it extremely cute, but a significant other, who was close to him in age could make him so so soooo happy

You were his best friend, his cuddle buddy, the love of his life, the one he sent memes to at 3am

Every second you spent with him was filled with laughter and joy

You guys were always playing around, teasing each other, sometimes pranking the older ones

And now that he figured out that you coukd speak English too, the storehouse of pranks and jokes opened up to him, to both of you.

Seungmin:

He is a mature one, more than most of them in his age

And if you were the same, he would have no problems with your age at all

He wasn’t really surprised when you told him, since the difference wasn’t that big between you two

And you didn’t really look older, nor younger than your age

So it was kind of expected

The bestest in mental support #2

Probably thanks to his mature self

But he would’ve always listened to you carefully, and always understood you

And if not, he would’ve tried everything in his power, to understand what you’d been going through

You could lean on him whenever you wanted, or needed to

His humor was sometimes interesting, you had to admit that

But it was utterly cute, and it always made you laugh

Actually it was one of his main goals in life

To make you laugh

He gave you wonderful, and useful advices

Sometimes when you didn’t want to get one

But at the end of the day you were always happy that he’d told you what’d been in his mind

Because it’d made you prevent bunch of difficulties, stress, and hard times

When you told you which your home country was he got really excited, but a little bit nervous too

He was really good in English so he was excited to speak with you in your mother language

But he a was a little bit afraid at the same time, of what you was going to think about his English

But you were amazed

And assured him, that his English was totally fine

Jeongin:

You were in the middle of a tickle fight when it slipped out

You were lying on the couch, your back making contact with the soft material

You laughed so hard, you could barely breath, your neck arched, your hair was a literal mess, and you automatically brought your knees up to your chest, trying to defend as much of your body as possible

But it was useless

Jeongin, who was on his knees, leaning above you, held both of your hands tightly with one of his, while the other one found a way to your sides, poking and tickling it continuously

“Noooo...nohoohhoo...” - you laughed-screamed out desperately, but the only answer you got was a cheeky grin spreading across his face.

Your head fell back as you tried to think of a way to make him stop your torture, and this was the moment when the thought came into your mind.

“Stop hurting the younger one!” - you shouted between your giggles, and he immediately stopped.

Like...immediately.

He sat back on his heels, arms moving away, his eyes widening, his face fell.

You breathed out as you sat up too, gasping for air

“You’re younger than me...?” - he asked, not wanting to believe his ears.

You nodded.

“With...?”

“With a year.”

Poor boy was shocked. He was so used to being younger than almost everyone, he froze in place for a few seconds, not being sure what to do

But when it clicked, and the realization finally hit him, he leaned forward and carefully pulled you close to his chest, a firm blush forming on his cheeks

It was a strange feeling, but a good one, as an unfamiliar warmth, protectiveness, and pride washed over him

You hugged him back, even though you weren’t quite sure what’d just happened

“I’m older than you.” - he whispered in your ears, and you frowned.

“I’m older than you!” - he pushed you back a little, so he could look into your eyes, as he said it again, a little bit louder this time.

And he got up.

And he ran away.

And then he came back with random stuffs.

“I bought you food.”

“But we just had lunch...”

“I bought you medicine.”

“But I’m not even sick...”

“I bought you a puppy! Here!” - and you looked at the tiny, fluffy pup, who was squirming in your lap now.

“But I...”

“Shut up, I’m older than you.”

He showered you with love and affection

In his shy way of course

But he did

He felt responsible of you, even when you told him that he didn’t have to

He wanted to take care of you, protect you and make you happy 

(Please love him with all of your heart, he deserves it so damn much)

If you’d could speak Korean he would’ve been relieved

But to him English was also a challenge

And he would definitely ask you to bring him to your hometown, and show him around

This took me a little while but I hope you like it! :3 Have a wonderful day with a lot of smiles! :D

#stray kids #skz #stray kids hyunjin #stray kids woojin #stray kids jeongin #stray kids felix #stray kids minho #stray kids seungmin #stray kids jisung #stray kids changbin #stray kids chan #stray kids requests #stray kids reactions #stray kids imagines #stray kids fanfic #skz requests #skz reactions #skz imagines #skz fanfic #stray kids x reader #skz x reader

[justanotherrperwriter]

The Dark Side of the Moon

Chapter 1

Freedom is something which should always be valued and cherished. Jacquelyn LeBlanc knew that well, having spent years in a mental hospital, seemed to only get worse rather than better. It took time, and it scared her when the doctors deemed her well enough to leave. The time came when Jacquelyn could manage her delusions with the use of medication. She was ready to leave; it wasn’t easy, trying to find the appropriate medications for her to take. She was schizophrenic, having had auditory and visual hallucinations since she was 16. She was now 22, having spent five years in the psychiatric ward isolated from the world. Her sister, Madeline, was a psychiatric doctor, and she worked hard to help Jacquelyn discern what was real and what was not. It was her sister which inspired Madeline to go into the medical field to help people who go through what Jacquelyn had. To give them support.

It was difficult for Jacquelyn’s family; they didn’t want to put her in a mental ward. However, it was difficult for them to provide the care she needed pertaining to her hallucinations. Jacquelyn’s hallucinations revolved around a fictional man she called Luciano Vargas, who she said loved her. She loved him. It was challenging when she had to be convinced Luciano wasn’t a tangible person and was a hallucination. It was these hallucinations and living in a delusional world which prompted her parents to take her to the mental hospital. Doctors would try to explain that Luciano wasn’t an actual person. He was a figment of her imagination. It often resulted in Jacquelyn having fits, insisting they were wrong. It took a long time of explaining, a lengthy time of working with her to get her to understand the truth. The five years were lengthy but productive, she could get help, and doctors found the medication which worked best for her.

It was the sense of freedom which allowed her to feel confident and more in control. She didn’t mind taking her medications, and she wore a necklace which would inform medical personnel of her condition and medications if something were to happen to her. Jacquelyn had traveled after they released her, promising her mother and father she would keep in contact daily. She always dreamed of traveling, and that’s what she did.

Her father was French and her mother was English, Jacquelyn had visited England and France first before she traveled more of Europe. She planned to go to Italy, Germany, Switzerland, Denmark, Norway, and Iceland. It was her way of trying to reclaim some of her life back; she was in control of where she was going and it helped her feel better. Sometimes she would have moments where she couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t, those moments scared her, and she would call Madeline who would talk her through how to distinguish details. It worked more often than not.

Jacquelyn stepped off the train she had taken from Paris to Rome, picking up her small suitcase and putting on her sunglasses. Rome was beautiful. She had only glimpsed photographs of it and dreamed of going herself. Now, she could be there. Pictures didn’t do it justice with just how beautiful it was. It stunned her for a few moments before she gathered herself and took her phone out for directions to her hotel. Jacquelyn hummed to herself, following the directions and taking in the sights. She told herself that she would shower and relax before she would explore and find a cafe or restaurant for a late lunch. She was staying at the Otium Hotel; it was near many of the tourist attractions and historic sites. They were activities which interested her.

It was a pleasant walk from the station to the hotel; the weather was pleasant, and she felt more at ease. It gave her a sense of calm to be on her own and not having to feel as though she burdened her parents. Jacquelyn always felt guilty for their hardships, always having to worry about her and her well-being. Her siblings cared for her and always came to visit her. It was a troublesome mental illness for the family, and she would never live on her own, that’s at least what the doctors said. These thoughts circled in her head before she tried to focus on the more positive details. She could travel, her parents agreed to that. She wouldn’t be allowed to go many places alone, but at least she could travel.

Jacquelyn checked into the hotel, thanking the receptionist and taking her suitcase to the highest floor. It was a beautiful room. Even though she was alone, her parents wanted to ensure she would feel more at ease. The room had a balcony which opened to behold the city stretching around the hotel. It was an incredible sight to behold. Jacquelyn let her long, light strawberry blonde hair out of her loose, messy bun. She figured a pleasant shower would do her good before she went out to get a meal and look around. Jackie was spending two weeks in Italy before she planned to travel to Germany. Her trip was a lengthy one, but she had plenty of medication and even her prescription and doctor’s note if she needed more.

Jacquelyn started the water for the shower, letting it warm as she undressed. She turned on soft music on Pandora, selecting a classical music station she had. It was something she loved much, appearing like a distant life when she would listen to it while studying. She had wanted to be a scientist, a chemist, but as her ability to concentrate decreased, that dream slipped further and further away. Jacquelyn had done her research, she knew that those like her had difficulty holding a job, she also knew the stigma surrounding it. She wished to return to her normal life but knew it would be impossible and implausible for her.

She let out a soft sigh when she stepped into the shower and felt the warm water flow over her shoulders, down her back. I can still strive to be the best I can, she thought to herself as she relaxed under the stream of water. It was that desire to strive to be her greatest which aided her; she didn’t want to make an enormous deal out of what she dealt with. Jacquelyn didn’t want to be treated differently from everyone else. She still dreamed of being capable of being loved and to experience a normal life. Someone will understand me one day, they’ll handle me, she thought as she washed her hair. She was a hopeful person, even if she sometimes had breakdowns or difficulties, she believed someone would help her.

Once she finished her shower, she changed into a light dress. The dress was breathable while being cute. Summer was just arriving, being early June, so the weather was not stifling, but it was pleasant. It was warmer than her home in Quebec, but she could handle it. She dried her hair and let it stay down, bringing a hair tie in case she needed it. Her hair had a natural curl to it, and she didn’t feel the need to style it much. Jacquelyn didn’t wear makeup either, she was going out for dinner and a little exploring, not boyfriend hunting. She had her purse and soon left her hotel, asking the receptionist for recommendations for places to eat. The receptionist recommended a bistro that was a 15-minute walk from the hotel. Not that Jacquelyn minded. She thanked the receptionist and followed the directions he gave her.

The bistro was pleasant and cozy, not crowded. She greeted the waitress and requested a seat outside; it was too pleasant to sit indoors. The waitress led her to a covered deck area where she sat at a table with a menu. Jacquelyn relaxed and looked over the menu, deciding on a white wine and a seafood pasta dish. She thanked the waitress and hummed to herself as she watched people walk down the street, talking with one another, some hand in hand. Jacquelyn smiled a bit to herself as she watched people while sipping her wine once the waitress brought it for her. She didn’t take much notice to the three men who ended up sitting at the table near her. There weren’t many on the terrace since many were concentrated on wine tasting while it seemed like those on the terrace were more interested in enjoying the food and relaxing.

It caught Jacquelyn off guard when she took notice of the group sitting beside her. One man looked too familiar. It made her blood run cold, making her question if she was seeing an actual person or if her hallucinations returned. She hoped it was just a strange coincidence and not that medicine stopped working. She felt herself pale, able to catch the one man being referred to as Luciano. Oh, dear god, she hoped this was just a nightmare. Jacquelyn looked away as one noticed her staring at them, looking flustered and embarrassed as she focused on her wine. She glanced up as one of them got up and pulled a seat out at her table. Shit, shit, shit, stay calm. You’re not crazy, he’s a real person... Probably, hopefully. Don’t do anything stupid. She thought to herself in a panic as she looked up.

“My apologies, I did not mean to stare.” She mumbled. Her Italian was decent, but she had plenty of time to focus on learning new concepts that didn’t require precise attention like chemistry did. That included languages.

“I’m wondering what prompted you to stare, Signorina.” He responded, looking amused with how flustered the poor girl was. He had auburn hair, and piercing violet eyes. It was too familiar to her. Though his eyes were much harsher, more mocking, than the ones she remembered.

“It was unintentional, signore. I meant nothing by it.” She told him, sipping her wine as she glanced up at him, the waitress returning with her pasta dish.

“I wasn’t concerned with you meaning any ill will. Perhaps some company would do you good, hm?” He gazed at the waitress, “Add her bill to mine, we will sit here with her.” He told the waitress. She seemed shaken by the man’s demand but didn’t argue with him.

“That isn’t necessary.” Jacquelyn tried to argue, but the man stopped her, giving her a smile. It made her feel uneasy. She didn’t know why, but something just seemed off with the man. “Please, I thought you were someone I knew once.”

“I have decided we are joining you and there is no changing that.” He reproached, used to having everything he wanted without argument or questioning. He was a wealthy and powerful man, many knew to do as he said. “Someone you once knew? And what happened? Did he break your pretty little heart?”

His words sounded mocking to Jacquelyn. “Not exactly… he wasn’t… entirely… real?” Her voice hitched. She didn’t enjoy talking about it. She was ashamed of how long she had been delusional, believing to be in love with a nonexistent man for so many years.

The man didn’t appear too phased, though questioning of her. “He wasn’t real? What is that supposed to mean?” He pressed, leaning in towards her. He was taking a bit of enjoyment in her uneasiness. He was a sadistic person, so it was in his personality.

“Stop messing with the girl, Luciano.” One of the other men said. He spoke with a German accent, and she glanced at him as the other two joined them at the table.

“It is okay, he asked a question, and even if the answer isn’t pleasant, I wasn’t raised to be impolite not to answer.” Jacquelyn replied, twirling her hair. Why did she have to explain herself? She didn’t want to and yet this man, this Luciano, was cornering her.

“I won’t force you to answer, Fraulein. And he shouldn’t either.” The German chided, much to the annoyance of the Italian man. “However, we are being impolite for not introducing ourselves after barging in on your meal. I am Lutz Beilschmidt.”

“Flavio Vargas.” The third man said cheerfully, giving her a sweet smile. He seemed like the nicest of the three.

“Luciano Vargas. And I believe I should be able to ask her questions, she was staring at me and not you two.” He said casually, smiling lazily at her.

“Merci.” Jacquelyn whispered to Lutz before looking at the three. “I’m Jacquelyn LeBlanc.” She replied, setting her wineglass down. “And if you’ll forgive me, I’ve had a lengthy day and I would much like to enjoy my meal and wine.” She said as politely as she could, despite her becoming annoyed with the distraction and interruption. “And, my mental state is no one’s business and concern. So regardless of your questions, you will not appreciate the answer.”

“So you’re crazy.” Luciano smirked, he was enjoying this more than he should as she prickled. He watched her gaze fall.

“I’m not crazy, I had no control over my hallucinations or delusions. My apologies, but it is uncanny how alike you look to the Luciano I once envisioned. He’s gone and I’m free, nothing more, nothing less.”

“Why focus on the false one, when the genuine one is here in front of you?” He mused. It was his tactic to break down unsuspecting women, luring them in and trapping them. It was what he was doing with Jacquelyn, breaking her down, taunting her. “Our food will arrive soon, we can continue our conversation, and then we will all eat.” He remarked, he had to be in control. He was in control of the situation, and he could tell she was on edge.

Luciano planned to have fun with this one. He would find a way to break her, even if she was already a broken person, Luciano wanted complete control over her. He planned to use her delusion against her. That would be the key to her undoing, convincing her that her delusion meant she was supposed to be with him. She was supposed to be his. He planned to make her nothing more than his toy for his own enjoyment until he tired of her.

#hetalia #2p hetalia #2p italy #fanfic #fanfiction #my writing #writing #fiction #story #chapter 1 #2p nyo canada #angst #mental disorder #schizophrenia #anime #norway hetalia #lukas bondevik #jacquelyn leblanc #luciano #kidnapped story #rp inspired #roleplay #roleplay inspired #archive of our own #fanfiction.net #quotev #iwritetoomuch #happy ending #hetalia fanfiction #hetalia fandom

[shadowturtlesstuff]

again but better thoughts while reading

@polandbananas20

 so my spelling is terrible in this but you know i was more focused on the book than how to spell. 

Chapter 1) good intro and good starting tone. The lady next to her sucks. Good small establishment of shane.

chapter2)shane characterisation is still consistent. I like her two new roommates (will be best friends) . My guess is the boy in the kitchen will be pilot. Family means but not intentional. Has no confidence. I was right about the boy

Chapter 3) intro of pilot properly. He's good. I love the inner monologue of shane. Trying to keep eye contact, the surprise of having a normal conversation. It sets her character well. Intro to her blog which i would love to actually read (i hope there's at least one entry we can read) pilot is a musician but not. Business major. What crap. 

Chapter 4) i really feel like shane, she is just typical fangirl/ dork and i love it. Its weird being english and reading about the things that shock them like pasta in bags.i understand the watermelon.we do get to read ‘shanes writing’ but its her personal jornal not her blog.

Chapter 5) fun chapter. Intro to rome. Love the idea that shane is heavy handed and violent. Short, not alot happened other than small character establishment.

Chapter 6)intro to creative writing class which i want/need in my life.more beatles. Woman on plane works at starbucks, will she make more appearances? 

Chapter 7) the drama???or at least wht will be the drama. Pilot has a gf, called amy (wish it was me) (wait no, bc i know that plot doesnt actually like amy anymore bc he obviously likes shane. So i take it back. I want to be shane, i mean i basically am like her but oh well.)

Chapter 8) parents. Overprotective, think they know best. Urgh. guarantee one of shanes new friends fight back to her parents to support her life choices, that do not include doctor.

Chapter 9)gets an internship at travel mag company. Thats it…..

Chapter 10)rome. Looses purse. Pilot to the anxiety riddled rescue by telling his own life story about his wallet to help calm her nerves.distracts her. Basially he would do anything for shane already.re count of rome trip from her jornal again which is a good touch to further the plot. This is making me want to read dan brown (ish) all of two books i own of him

Chapter 11) the postcards are a nice touch that i hope someone reads???? Travel buddies..just saying.chad..hmmm,im like shane,well see if he is good enough for babe. Her GODDAM stupdi mean cousins being mean on her facebook, and babe seeing (best friend moment) about pilot and the whole teasing about having a boyfriend.

Chapter 12) he didnt see (but i think he did but istn sayin anything) paris i shappening. Babe is bff confirmed and i want her as my friend 

Chapter 13)angry birds addiction starts. Level three, weak, shoulder touching it romance confirmed.awwww pilot 100% waited to sleep so he could see shane safe in bed

Chapter 14) pilot with a french accent, enough  said. The flirtinggggg.  The plane woman  is back??in paris with them????

Chapter 15)pilots choices of the back in time thing are both wit shane. Its so obvious and i love it. Pilot as a fake fangirl about the eiffel tower. More flirting,kind of. Oh god chad no.he did it. Goddammit.nooo he wull run babe and shanes friendship and maybe her and pilot. ‘Assbucket’ indeed. Her an pilot are fine and i really believe her and babe will be because when she nearly gets robbed babe giver her a sympathetic smile. Not much to go on but i have hope.

Chapter 16)okay so, fav chapter, she finally spills her guts that she has anxiety basically, that she is premed with strict parents and this is scary whilst pilots lies in bed with her to relax her bc he heard her crying. He only ecoureges her slightly before going back to his bed and sleeping. My heart, i swear, soon the roles reverse and pilot will say why he is in london and all that.

Chapter 17)babe and shane bffs confired. Chad is the worst confirmed. Of course it wasnt  break up call. Of course she wants to vist. Of course pilot is to cowardly to break up and just accepts them going to paris together. Of freaking course.

Chapter 18) do not get over pilot, it wont work. Rugby guy nooooo!im team pilot how dare you kiss shane! Wow, city of glass mention. I want to make a list of every bookmentioned.

Chapter 19) pilot is not himself (obviouls) shane is worried. She is still lying to her parents an feeling bad about. Rugby guy is thankfully a no go. Pilot finds out about the kiss and guy and is clearly silently jealous. 

Chapter 20)aww shane! Im sorry pilot sucks currently. And a stupid guys trip with flat four. No. and devil chairs. 

Chapter 21)1)love the book talk.  The loneliness is kicking in, pilot man up for gods sake

Chapter 22)this red-head plain weirdo is back and going through her list like some sort of mentore. Omg!!! No. amy is here, i dont hatte her but can she not. Also, her dad…. No! (this is the stand up moment i was on about, i hope)

Chapter 23) i do not like her dad. At all. Nooo shane...no. they found out. And acted like assholes.

Chapter 24) n1!ahhhh no! Amy has her notebook. The end is nigh.im going to cry i feel like shane. 

Chapter 25) the family dinner-family outing. Niether of them manuped and shane is depressed

Chapter 26)back in america. Still hasn’t told pilot but you know it is a slow burn

Chapter 27) I, wait? Marry, some guy? Like no. I know it’s been what six years but no. I refuse.i don’t like this so called Melvin. It’s okay she doesn’t want to marry him. She goes to see pilot and finally mans up and tells him and asks if she made it and and pilot finally man’s up and tells her no she didn’t. They get stuck in an elevator

Chapter 28) the elevators doing something. Shane wants to re do London cuz she hates life

Chapter 1?) they are both back in London? Both having the same what ever is happening? 

  Chapter 2) omg. Plane lady took them back to staRt over and pilots mad about it (obv)

Chapter 3)so… they got mad but started over and I’m excited. 100%they won’t press the restart button. I’m calling it now. Cuz pilot knows he now has a chance to do the what if’s/

Chapter 4) they keep there distance but we all know it won’t last

Chapter 5) tipsy Shane? Shawarma

Chapter 6) babe thinksthere is something going on with them( again)

Chapter7)the story about fake pilot, and the kiss. Ahhhhhhg

Chapter 8)they found the button. Shane doesn’t want to go back. I do t want them to go back. They don’t go back thank god

Chapter 9) da Vinci code flirting somehow.. Shane tells him it won’t happen u less he breaks up with last Amy.

 Chapter 10) he will break up with Amy and laris is gonna happen. 

Chapter 11) so Shane is happy again, pilot broke up with amy. Shane tried to make peace with the devil chair.

Chapter 11) they are so adorable. Aswwwwewhwhehruysnwjw

 Chapter 12) Uwuwnfhueia we get more Shane and pilot flirting, 

Chapter 13) the opposite game is adorable. I like that they get to be themselves together without the awkwardness. The start of the move game. Thats my fav. 

Chapter 14) they still have the angry birds obssesion but unlike me and supercard they know when to stop.the dance ‘move’ ahh i love. The line ‘but you do.’ just shows how much they know each other and how pilot would do anything to make her smile. And the lost move (not really a move but totally a move.) once again proves their love. Also we had that plot moment where he talks about why h chose to go to london. I adore shanes rant (?) about the things she loves. And then pilot doing the same thing. Shane vs chair is my life, like i battle chairs too. 

Chapter 15) what is tfios? Ooohhh. Fault in our stars. (i googled it)i probably shouldve known by the whole always part. The dance move came back to bite pilot in the ass and now they are dancing together. Ew chad. Yes shane! That is what chad deserves. 

Chapter 16) they get intimate and gigly and happy and aaaawwwhww

Chapter 17) im glad shane still rememebers to be friends with babe and not forget her in her lovestick state currently.

Chapter 18) her postcard….the questions that haunt her so much. Sort of accepting them herself too. She finally got to do wrecking ball, they miss internship , oh no…. Start if a downall?? 

Chapter 19) shane and pilot have fallen HARD

Chapter 20) the article is off the table. Amy is there. What the hell. No. omg pilot no, you moron. THEY BROKE UP!!! Which is fair, a break is needed. They both get back on track and then try and find a balance. Hopefully. Oh her laptop….shit...the feels when all your work is just gone. Tries to reset bc she is so depressed bc she thinks she failed again. 

Chapter 21) she cant go back (thankfully) a bookstore is always a good haven to go to when your breaking down.

Chapter 22)the redemtion (?) time to try and fix everything and get back on track.the determination and the readiness to try and make everything better for herswelf, herself, and no one else is good. She makes friends with the people in her office and works harder than befire, try to get herself out of her comfort zone and experience things

Chapter 23) the confrontation with her parents. Oh god. I hope this goes well. Its going as well as it can go. Im happy shane is sticking up for her dream so she can be happy, uugh the whole dad speech of ‘i do everything for you, i know best because im older,’ i hate it. Ooohh she is making up with leo, talking ot him this time. Im happy. Leo is gay. Cool. i hate how he got broken up with becuase of his stupid family, it sucks. ‘There is no normal.’ perfect words. 

Chapter 24) her thing is in the thing!!!( also good job me with words.) her article got published (there we go)this is where she learns she can be with pilot and be successful because tracy is with a famous author and they make it work with harder schedules. Trys to talk to her parents. This time she will make there relationship work.

Chapter 25)urgh ‘you live under my roof,on my dime…’ blah blah blah. We hate controlling parents that dont see that overprotecting and controlling their childs life does more damage than good. Babe suggest self discovery trip. Babe is a grat friends. 

Chapter 26)the button thing will work…’im mad at pilot. Or am i mad at me.’ she cracked the code. She loathed herself because of her fear of failing, but because this time she worked on herself to make herself happy she no longer hates herself. Yet she still feels the same (ish) feeling that even though she worked harder and got further that she has no summer job when she gets back to the states, her parents still wont allow her choice of work.PILOTS BACK!!!!!!! She was about to press the button and he swooped in with his music.

Chapter 27) he still follows her blog and got help from babe. His speech, finished with lamppost. Where can i get a pilot?he uploaded their song. Working through the divorce thing again but it will be better because he has shane to talk to about it. Ahhh she got a job!!! Happy ending!!! My heart!!!eeeee…

epilogoue) she becomes a successful author. Her parents have accepted her and support her. Pilots a musician. He takes her to the weird plane lady and they gobe the locket back, then he makes the ultimate move. With pictures of where they fell in love he uses the beatles russain doll things to hide a ring and when she finds it she obviously says yes. And that its unfair cuz she cant top that move. 

sooo...thats it.

i really enjoyed this book. i cannot wait for her next book. this post is longwinded i apologize but oh well? again i will link my website and review as soon as its done. so far in about five hours all i have is a paragraph so it may not be as soon as i want it to be

#again but better #polandbananasbooks #frenchwatermelonnineteen #shane #pilot #shane and pilot

[nyadere]

Reposting this bc the link got messed up when I changed URLs!!

My all time favorite Destiel fics, in no particular order. (More to be added over time) {last updated 10/08/2019}

Too Much TV Will Rot Your Brain by EndlessRain Rating: G Words: 7397 Summary: “Angel?” John asked. He had been in Heaven for a pretty long time, and had been hunting even longer, and he never had heard of angels actually existing.

“Oh for God’s sake,” Ellen said, “That’s your kid’s boyfriend!”

Notes: A short, sweet fic with mostly humor and a bit of angst mixed in. – How (thanks to Gabriel) Dean and Castiel (accidentally) raised each other (and Sam). by Vera Rating: E Words: 69693 Summary: In which, Gabriel meddles with the time line and Castiel becomes Dean’s angel rather sooner than intended.

Notes: This is a must-read, the writing is perfect and the idea is also perfect. Throwing Castiel into the boy’s lives from the start and the dynamic it brings is such an interesting take on the story.

–

Destiel, Actually by Bloodism Rating: E Words: 15973 Summary: Picture your typical rom-com cliché. Now picture Dean stuck in that rom-com cliché. With Castiel. Because that’s what happening to him - a crazy whirlwind of your typical-and-not-so-typical cliché’s. He’s playing the main lead in all of them and Castiel’s his counterpart. Of course, the culprit is obvious. Gabe’s enjoying himself too much, lying back on his favourite cloud with a tub of salted popcorn.

It was about time someone kicked the two knuckleheads into gear.

“And… ACTION!”

Notes: Funny & light-hearted, featuring everyone’s favorite trickster.

–

Angel’s Wild by LimonadeGaby, riseofthefallenone Rating: E Words: 389271 Summary: But that’s the whole reason he’s here, isn’t it? He’s not out here hunting Humans. He’s not even hunting deer, or bears, or anything else that featured in Bambi. He’s out here, freezing his nuts off every night, because he’s hunting Angels.

Sometimes Dean wishes that Angels were like how they’re described in the Bible. How people from time too old for him to care much about thought Angels were messengers and warriors of God, protectors of Humans. He knows that how they’re really described in the Bible is actually pretty terrifying, but at least they were told by God that they’re supposed to love Humans, right?

That’s a thousand times better than what Angels really turned out to be.

Notes: Another must-read. This fic is a huge, long and a bit of a slow-burn but its so worth it. One of the first destiel fics I fell in love with, an immersive AU with fanart included.

–

Things Dean Winchester Loves by tuesday Rating: M Words: 3623 Summary: Castiel makes a list, Sam gives good advice, and Dean takes a while to catch on.

–

In the Shadow of your Wings by Enochian Things Rating: M Words: 57268 Summary: Dean drains his bottle of beer, sets it on the table and gets up, heading for the kitchen. Maybe to fetch another, maybe to leave. But Castiel doesn’t want him to go, doesn’t want to leave this conversation unfinished; he remembers his regret of just a few hours ago, that Dean had never known how he loved him.

“Wait,” he says and gets to his feet as Dean passes by. They’re standing close – close enough that Castiel can feel the heat of Dean’s body, the vibrancy of his soul brushing against his grace. “Dean, I have to tell you something…”

Set after the S11 finale.

Notes: another long, slow-burn. The buildup in this fic is fantastic, dealing with a jealous and in-denial Dean while poor Cas is dealing with his own feelings. This fic is so in-character I can see it happening in the actual show.

– Everything Comes Back To You by VioletHaze Rating: E Words: 32970 Summary: Dean knew better. Of course he did. But Cas seemed so charmed by the antique-filled bed and breakfast that Dean went along with it when the proprietor mistook them for a couple. Telling himself it gave them a strategic advantage to be so close to the crime scene, he agreed to the weekend special she offered them. When the case ended up being a bust, they stuck around anyhow because hey, the second night was free…

Notes: I love love loveeee this fic. Canon!verse with fake/pretend relationship. Dean in denial with mutual pining? Yes please. – Sam Winchester Sees the Light (And Dean’s Awkward Boner Face) by YamiTami Rating: G Words: 2447 Summary: Castiel is falling and he has to start doing human things to save energy. That means eating for sustenance, sleeping, and learning how to use a washing machine. This leads to a revelation.

Shamelessly inspired by a gifset of Misha putting a shirt on.

–

The Mirror by cloudyjenn Rating: M Words: 24568 Summary: When Dean touches a strange mirror, he’s whisked away to one alternate reality after another and it doesn’t take him long to realize the universe is trying to tell him something.

Notes: This. fic. is. amazing. I love reading about AU versions of the boys and this one has plenty of variety. Cute with a bit of angst mixed in.

–

In Your Sweet Little Bungalow by annodominique Rating: E Words: 13680 Summary: All things considered, Castiel has a house. All things considered, Castiel has a life. Without Dean.

It has been seven years since Sam died, seven years since Dean left Castiel, broken and human, and disconnected from humanity. Cas had to cope on his own somewhere along the way. He chose a little town of Oregon to settle in.

Seven years, and Dean shows up at his door on a chilly February night, saying the stupidest set of words to ever be said to Castiel’s face.

“I was–just passing by the neighborhood. Thought I’d drop by…to see you.”

And Cas doesn’t know what to do.

Notes: This fic is so angsty but so worth it.

–

When the Bough Breaks by captainshakespear, deanisthesun Rating: M Words: 73963 Summary: Years after the Darkness has been defeated, Dean and Cas are living the apple pie life in small-town Kansas. They don’t hunt anymore, and would like to keep it that way, but some young hunters knocking at their door have different plans.

Dean, Cas and Sam reluctantly agree to help out, but what ought to be a simple case becomes way more complicated and dangerous than they counted on. And when the hunt starts to invade the normal lives they’ve carved out for themselves and their kids, Dean and Cas begin to wonder if escaping the hunting life altogether might have been wishful thinking.

–

Home is Where by ChasingRabbits Rating: E Words: 15170 Summary: Casual vagrant Dean Winchester blows into Palo Alto to check on his little brother. What is meant to be a quick visit ends up drawing out when he meets and accidentally ends up clicking with Sam’s strange, grad student roommate Castiel.

Notes: non-canon verse AU where Cas has Asperger’s and is Sam’s roommate, this fic is very cute.

–

Out of the Deep by riseofthefallenone Rating: E Words: 488608 Summary: Stay away from the light-beds. Stay in the deep.

It is the first thing hatchlings are taught the moment their fans unfurl and they can swim without their parents to buoy them along. It is the first rule, the first law. It is the beginning of every boogey-monster bedtime story told when they settle against the cliffs to sleep.

Castiel should have listened better.

Notes: I cannot express how much I love this fic. Another huge AU with copious amounts of fanart and detail. Slow-burn, Merfolk AU. I will admit I was hesitant to read this at first as I don’t usually like mermaid/merfolk AUs but this story is so beautifully written and the attention to detail is amazing. Riseofthefallenone never ceases to amaze me.

–

Going Postal by captainbarnes Rating: Not Rated Words: 6799 Summary: Castiel,

Hi. My name’s Dean, just Dean — that’s all you’re getting out of me.

I don’t really know what else to say, I’m not good at this and I really don’t want to talk much. But it’s for a grade, and I’m already flunking English, so I guess I don’t have a choice.

Your name is weird as fuck.

— Dean

Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak became pen pals because of a school assignment, and they tried not to get attached to one another. They really did. Sort of. Barely.

–

King of the Road by loversantiquities Rating: E Words: 15890 Summary: Contracted out by the local police in Moriarty, New Mexico, Dean is sent to investigate the happenings around a church outside of town, the Angel-worshiping congregation reportedly flocking to the location in recent days. As it turns out, though, instead of snake charmers or devil worshipers, Dean finds an Angel crucified to the cross, said Angel unreasonably snarky despite being tied up against his will.

Turning over Castiel to the authorities, though, doesn’t work in Dean’s favor. With nowhere to go and Heaven having abandoned him, Dean agrees to haul Castiel across the country on two conditions–he doesn’t smoke in the car, and he doesn’t rob convenience stores in broad daylight.

God, Dean might actually kill him before this is over.

–

Rock of Ages by winter_of_our_Discontent Rating: T Words: 7430 Summary: It starts because they need a rock. Not, of course, just any rock, but apparently this particular critter needs an Aztec-style obsidian-and-jade dagger right through its human-teeth-and-eyeball-eating heart to actually kill it.

In which Cas gets a ring, and Dean (finally) gets a clue.

–

So There It Is, I’ve Said It All by PorcupineGirl Rating: G Words: 3898 Summary: “Why, do you have something you need to say to me that you don’t think I’ll like?”

I think I’m in love with you.

“Yeah. I guess so.“

–

Receipts by surlybobbies Rating: T Words: 1391 Summary: He’s about to put the receipt down, no harm done, when something about it catches his eye. Pen ink, on the back. He flips it around and reads:

With Dean. He shared his pie with me. His smile was radiant.

Dean stares. Reads it again. Nothing’s changed.

What? -

The Fourth Wall by entanglednow

Rating: T-E (this is a series so different parts have different ratings)  Words: 40,339 Summary:  (There’s not an exact summary for the whole thing since its a series of 15 different works but basically the boys discover fanfiction about themselves and things get wild) I can’t believe I didn’t add this one before but its one of my all time favorites! I’ve read it multiple times because its just that good. Lighthearted and funny. This series also includes Samifer which I’m a big fan of (but if you’re not into that each part is appropriately tagged so you can skip over it). 

-

Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark Rating: M  Words: 45,876 Summary:  Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight. Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away. Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.  Notes: Lots of pining, supportive Sam, angst with a happy ending, the good shit.  - Everyone is Trying to Get to the Bar by Balder12 Rating: E Words: 8,111 Summary:  Dean still has enemies in Heaven. True!form Castiel to the rescue!

Notes: I love true!form cas fics and this one is written beautifully, the ending seemed a little rushed to me but other than that I really enjoyed this fic.

-

As You Pass Through Me by wannaliveindeansdimples Rating: E Words: 30,548 Summary: Cas has lived in this house all his life... and since his untimely death. The last thing he wants is a new roommate, but it seems he's getting one anyway.

Notes: a wonderful non-canonverse AU with ghost!Cas....but there’s a twist! This fic is incredibly cute and entertaining and makes me smile everytime I read it. There’s a little bit of what could be considered dub-con in a few chapters but before said chapters the author usually has a note at the beginning.

-

#Destiel #Destiel fic rec #Destiel fanfiction #deancas #destiel fic recs #supernatural #spn

[theyearoftheking]

Book 1: Carrie

I wish I could write you a melody so plain

That would save you, dear lady, from going insane

That would ease you and cool you and cease the pain

Of your useless and pointless knowledge...

-Bob Dylan

I first read Carrie seven years ago as part of the Rory Gilmore reading challenge (sense a trend yet?). Despite reading a handful of books in the challenge, I quickly gave up because the prospect of reading Finnegan’s Wake was just too much. Even as an English major, I just can’t stomach Joyce. But I digress, and promise to stick with this challenge until the bitter end. Besides, I have a blog. I’m obviously big time now.

Carrie was first published in 1974 and the overriding theme for me was relevance. What’s old is new again, human beings never really learn lessons and bullying is a tale as old as time. Let’s do a deep-ish dive, shall we?

The book opens with a pretty embarrassing scene set inside high school hell: the girl’s locker room. Carrie is showering after gym class, and gets her period for the first time, blood streaming down her legs. She’s scared as hell,and has no idea what’s happening, because she was raised by an evangelical crazy woman. Her classmates lose their shit, begin throwing menstrual products at her, and yelling, “plug it up!” 

So cringy. 

But on the bright side, this didn’t happen during the age of social media. This would have made Snapchat, Insta, TikTok, or whatever social media thing the kids are into. But you could still see it happening in 2020. Hell is other people, particularly high school girls of a certain bitchy persuasion. 

After this humiliating moment, Carrie heads home to lick her wounds, and wonder why her mother, Margaret, never talked to her about menstruation. Her mother informs her, “And God made Eve from the rib of Adam...Get up, woman. Let us get in and pray. Let’s us pray to Jesus for our woman-weak, wicked, sinning souls...” 

At this moment, my blood ran cold. This statement should sound like the ramblings of a crazy person. But instead it reminded me of another matriarch...

Yeah. Michelle Duggar of 19 Kids and Counting, and Counting On fame. Michelle with her crazy eyes and crunchy perm, who believes women shouldn’t be cutting their hair, wearing pants, or bikinis, or any article of clothing that might entice men to think wicked thoughts; because apparently women do nothing but illicit sinful thoughts in men. It would be funny, if it wasn’t for the legions of fans and multiple babies she and her evangelical brood keep popping out on their living room couches with alarming frequency. We won’t even get into the whole, “covering up the fact her son molested several of her daughters and brushed it under the rug, because... Jesus”. 

Shudder. 

After Carrie’s locker room situation, the school administrators try to punish several of the girls responsible for the tampons/pads attack. One of the ringleaders, Chris Hargensen is a right little bitch, and sends daddy into the principal’s office to plead on her behalf so she won’t miss prom. He and the principal get chippy with each other, and Mr. Hargensen says, “I don’t intend... to sit here and listen to a tissue of half-truths or your standard schoolmaster lecture, Mr. Grayle. I know my daughter well enough...”

This whole interaction between Mr. Hargensen and Principal Grayle cracked me up. Millennials (of which I am not) get a bad wrap for not being held accountable for anything. They are stereotyped as special snowflakes who need participation trophies, and their parents make excuses for all their bad behaviors. 

Bro. 

Tale as old as time. Need I remind you this book was published in 1974? 

Ok, Boomer?

The story progresses with Sue Snell, one of the ringleaders of the Plug It Up debacle feeling guilty for her actions, and convincing her boyfriend, Tommy Ross to ask Carrie to prom. Tommy loves Sue, and agrees to do it. Carrie sews herself a crushed velvet prom dress, her mom repeatedly calls her a slut, and Carrie ends up looking beautiful. I imagine it much like Rachel Leigh Cook’s “startling” transformation in She’s All That. 

 Tommy and Carrie go to prom, and he realizes she’s actually kinda pretty, which makes her worthy of his respect. The crushed velvet dress gets all the compliments, and the night doesn’t start out as a total disaster. Well, bitchy Chris Hargensen isn’t having it. She convinces Billy Nolan, her greaser boyfriend, to pull off some kind of spectacular prank at prom to put Carrie in her place and remind her of her station. 

Billy and his crew of greasers go to a local farm, kill two pigs, and collect the blood. Later on at prom when Carrie and Tommy are announced king and queen, Chris pulls the cord rigged to the buckets of pig blood, and douses them both. Carrie loses her shit, and uses her telekinetic powers (did I forget to mention that’s a thing she has?) to blow up the school, kill her classmates and destroy the lovely town of Chamberlain, Maine. After prom, she walks home, where Michelle Duggar, Mama White is waiting with a knife, and stabs Carrie in the chest. Carrie uses her powers to slow Michelle Duggar Mama White’s heart down, until she’s dead. Then (with the knife still stuck in her chest), Carrie heads back into town to finish her reign of terror and kill Chris and Billy. Then she dies. 

And they all lived happily ever after. Well, Sue Snell kind of does, since she’s one of the only ones to make it out alive. No good deed goes unpunished, am I right? 

A few notable, funny moments... 

1. Early on in the novel, a reference is made to a letter Michelle Duggar Mama White wrote to a friend in Kenosha, Wisconsin. How did Steve decide on Kenosha? Such a strange city in Wisconsin to choose... Did he look at a map and randomly pick a city? Had he made a stop at the Mars Cheese Castle once and it left an impression? Did he throw a dart at a map of Wisconsin? Does he know Kenosha doesn’t have an especially high evangelical population? So many questions. As a Sconnie Cheesehead Homer, I’ll be keeping a Wisconsin Mentions tally throughout the challenge. 

2. At one point in the novel, a fictitious scientific article compares the genetic-recessive characteristics of telekinesis to hemophilia. Hemophilia is referred to as, “King’s Evil”, I couldn’t help with wonder if Steve threw this fact in here just to use the term, “King’s Evil”. Random observation 

I enjoyed re-reading Carrie, and still find it relevant and timely. And I think it speaks to King’s talent as a writer that he’s able to create a character like Carrie, who blows up a whole damn town and kills almost everyone, and you still feel sorry for her. She’s not quite a villain, but she’s not far off. 

In summation:

Total King Wisconsin Mentions: 1

Dark Tower References: 0

Book Grade: B+

Now, time for Salem’s Lot. It’s been on my to-be-read list for quite a while, and I’m looking forward to diving into it. Be patient, it’s 700 pages, compared to Carrie’s 290. 

I should mention, I’m reading all of these books in actual BOOK form, no e-books. I find when I use my Kindle, I get distracted by marathon games of Candy Crush, and lose focus. But with an actual book? No candy to be crushed, no FB messages to check, no cute dog pictures to upload. 

Speaking of dogs, Steve has Molly, The Thing of Evil. I have Biscuit Beast the Beagle. 

You can see her handiwork here on a bookmark a friend was nice enough to bring back from The Stanley.

 Beagles... to know them is to love them. 

Until next time- long days and pleasant nights, readers!

Rebecca

[rosymiel]

1-100.. bitch

oh FUCK you (im jk.. i love you..)

The meaning behind my url: i love french, and so i wanted to spice up my url and have it not be sims related from the get-go (my previous url was ughplumb). at first i wanted my url to be “cherry wine” in french because my favorite song of all time is cherry wine by hozier, however the url was already taken. i settled for rosy honey, hence rosymiel

A picture of me: honestly just look at my tag “kyla has a face”! i don’t have any new selfies of myself aside from what i’ve posted.

How many tattoos i have and what they are: i only have one, and it’s right in between my shoulder blades on my back. it’s of my family’s crest, which says “miseris succurrere disco”, which basically means to help people in need.

Last time i cried and why: last night because i was watching queer eye

Piercings i have: i used to have my ears pierced, but i hated keeping track of my earrings so i just let them close up. i wish i never let them close up, and now i also want to get my nose pierced 

Favorite band: i don’t really listen to any bands, just artists!

Biggest turn offs: burping and chewing sounds. chewing sounds legitimately anger me so much, i don’t know why

Top 5 songs: Cherry Wine (Hozier), Rain On Me (Joji), IDFC (Blackbear), I Love You (Billie Eilish), The Night We Met (Lord Huron)

Tattoos I want: OHHHHH MY GOD i want so many!!!! i just honestly want my body to be covered in flower tattoos to the point that i’m just a walking garden!! i really want to get a pair of watercolor roses or lilies right under my collarbones!!

Biggest turn ons: good cologne. i don’t know why, but cologne makes me go insane, i love it so much

Age: 18 going on 19!

Ideas of a perfect date: relaxing at home and cuddling with my boyfriend while watching our favorite show

Life goal: oh god this is super deep and i’ve sat on this question for a fat minute and all i can think about is how much i want to be content with myself, so i guess that’s my goal

Piercings i want: nose and ear piercings, babie!!!

Relationship status: happily taken!

Favorite movie: oh god, probably across the universe. i’ve loved it ever since i was a kid

A fact about my life: i’ve been in choir almost all my life

Phobia: the dark. when i was a kid i used to see faces on my walls when my room was dark

Middle name: marie

Height: 5′5.5 (basically just 5′6)

Are you a virgin?: yessirree 

What’s your shoe size?: 7

What’s your sexual orientation?: i’m pretty straight, but i think i’m heteroflexible. i’d definitely get down and nasty with a girl, but i’ve never felt any romantic attraction towards females

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?: no, my parents smoked cigarettes for most of my life, and my dad regularly smokes weed. the smell of weed makes my head hurt and makes me feel nauseous, so no thanks.

Someone you miss: my boyfriend. he’s been on a family trip to cuba, and he hasn’t contacted anyone (including me) in almost 10 days. i miss him so much that it genuinely hurts.

What’s one thing you regret?: not learning to love myself sooner and finding comfort in feeling depressed because it’s something familiar

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: zendaya 

Favorite ice cream?: i don’t eat a whole lot of ice cream, so i guess cookies and cream

One insecurity: my teeth. my two teeth next to my front teeth are pointed, and i used to get called a vampire when i was young. i was always bullied for it, and for most of my life i would cover my mouth with my hand whenever i laughed or smiled. a recent incident that comes to mind was sophomore year in high school in my english class. i sat next to my friend mooney (i called her by her last name because we met in gym), and one day she was talking to the guy infront of her about how pretty she thought i was, and how she thought that i could’ve been a model. the guy who sat in front of me, who’s name was tristan and was also in my choir the previous year, said that i’d be pretty with me if my teeth weren’t so fucked up. 

What my last text message says: “god this fan feels so nice”

Have you ever taken a picture naked?: :)

Have you ever painted your room?: no, but i’ve tried painting the bathroom with my mom

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?: nope

Have you ever slept naked?: yeah?????????

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror?: i can’t dance, so absolutely not

Have you ever had a crush?: yeah??!??!?!!? ofc. i had a major crush on my current boyfriend, and he had a crush on me first before we started dating. it’s actually a really cute story

Have you ever been dumped?: yeah, twice. my last one was really brutal, but not because of how he dumped me.

Have you ever stole money from a friend?: nope

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?: nope

Have you ever been in a fist fight?: nope

Have you ever snuck out of your house?: nah, i’m a goody-two-shoes

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?: oh HELL yeah

Have you ever been arrested?: nope, and not planning on it!

Have you ever made out with a stranger?: nope!! 

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?: not in a sexual or romantic way, no

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?: nah

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?: i don’t think so??

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?: i ditched my nesika (which was like homeroom, but only two days of the week rather than daily) to go to a coffee stand with a friend

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?: not in a sexual or romantic way

Have you ever seen someone die?: no, and i really don’t want to :^(

Have you ever been on a plane?: yup!! i love it

Have you ever kissed a picture?: maybe…………… :’^)

Have you ever slept in until 3?: oh my GOD no. i fall asleep relatively early and wake up early, even on my days off.

Have you ever loved someone or miss someone right now?: yeah??? lowkey this question is phrased in a weird way

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?: oh my god yes, it’s so relaxing

Have you ever made a snow angel?: yup!!!!

Have you ever played dress up?: oh HELL yes i have!!!

Have you ever cheated while playing a game?: okay does anyone remember doing the stock market game in freshmen year/middle school in history class? my friend and i looked up the answers online and cheated. we were rich that day in that class.

Have you ever been lonely?: i’m lonely right now

Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?: maybe for 10 seconds, but no

Have you ever been to a club?: nope!

Have you ever felt an earthquake?: i don’t think so, no

Have you ever touched a snake?: SDKJGBSD NO!!!!!

Have you ever ran a red light?: nope!

Have you ever been suspended from school?: nope!!!!

Have you ever had detention?: i had lunch detention for saying “stfu” to a guy who was bugging me in 5th grade. i thought i was the shit for that.

Have you ever been in a car accident?: nope!

Have you ever hated the way you look?: 100%. i’ve always had huge insecurities surrounding my body or how i look.

Have you ever witnessed a crime?: bruh i literally stole a pack of gum from a store when i was 4. i COMMITTED a crime. in my defense, i stole it for my mom to make her happy. i got yelled at

Have you ever pole danced?: nope, but i would love to! it looks like a really good workout!

Have you ever been lost?: i got lost just last week

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?: nope!!! i don’t travel much

Have you ever felt like dying?: yes. i used to be suicidal

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?: hell yeah babie!

Have you ever sang karaoke?: i sing karaoke on youtube almost every single day. not only that, but on the first day of practicing for my high school graduation i stopped by my choir class before it began (seniors got out earlier than everyone else), and i sang karaoke with them.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?: 100%

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?: NO?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?: no

Have you ever kissed in the rain?: how can u kiss the rain. bruh.

Have you ever sang in the shower?: i sang in the shower earlier today

Have you ever made out in a park?: nope!

Have you ever dream that you married someone?: yep!!!!

Have you ever glued your hand to something?: i don’t think so????

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?: no, but i got my tongue stuck to one of those metal low monkey bar things.

Have you ever gone to school partially naked?: no?????

Have you ever been a cheerleader?: no, but my childhood friend and i wanted to be cheerleaders in high school before i moved to a different state

Have you ever sat on a roof top?: nope

Have you ever brushed your teeth?: who are you, my mom?

Have you ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?: oh my GOD yes

Have you ever played chicken?: nope!! im a pussy

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?: nope!

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?: not that i’m hot, but i’ve gotten many compliments from strangers

Have you ever broken a bone?: nope!

Have you ever been easily amused?: i used to be one of those kids that would laugh before they could finish a joke

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?: i’ve laughed so hard that i’ve pissed myself. so yes.

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?: i mean????

Have you ever cheated on a test?: i cheated on a 2nd grade spelling test. who knew that i would end up actually being great at spelling shit

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?: oh my god i have the worst memory and i’m terrible with names

Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?: my boyfriend :’’’’^)

Give us one thing about you that no one knows: a couple friends know, but when i’m too lazy to throw on shoes or socks to walk around the house i just pull my sweatpants legs a bit over my feet and just wrap it around my feet. it’s weird

#non sims #reply #roseiio

[queenoflightningpoet]

Character sketch

This is a little different than my normal poetry and a lot longer. I wrote it for class and wanted to share it here. Tw for physical abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse. 

!!!

Our middle school had stricter rules than my house. Their unofficially Catholic values were underlined in every class. The most hilarious and absurd rules of this institution included but were not limited to: no boots (too informal for footwear), no gelled hairstyles (spikes are of the devil), no scarves, and failure to recite the pledge of allegiance everyday would result in suspension. This was the world I was thrown into. The kind of place a Mormon girl is sent in the urban sprawl to avoid the public middle school. According to my mother the reason for this was a pregnant seventh grader at the public middle school, but I fear the problems at my school was just as bad if not better kept secrets.

We went there together, best friends fresh out of elementary school. She stood next to me, about a half inch taller for the first four years of our friendship until my legs came in violently. Her deep brown hair shone and glistened under private school fluorescent lights. She strutted around in pleated navy skirts and white polos, her eyes always hunting for someone new. While she was sweet and delicate looking, her almond eyes snapped from person to person, just searching for a weakness to exploit. That was why I had liked her in the beginning.

Her name was Jen. She stuffed her ego with the people she let get close, people like me. Her slender hands always seemed to find my wrist in the crowds at assemblies, our arms linking as we sat by each other. She reminded me of a tiger. Her calculated protection and subsequent friendships seemed strategic. When I would ask her about it, she would pull a sucker out of her mouth, lips stained purple, and say “No need to worry about that.”

She had a knack for power, even in middle school when our knees were dirtier than our hands. She would find out secrets just by looking and in turn she would trade one of theirs for one of hers. It was a sort of preteen binding ritual. They were inextricably linked from then on. Her hordes of friends grew over our years in that Febreze clean school, but only she was allowed to be my friend. Anytime anyone would look at me in a slightly friendly way she would beat them off with an arm around my bony shoulders or a sneer that would show off her exaggerated canines. I began swallowing my opinions like the school’s slimy canned peaches.

She would come to school with bruises. Some from ballet class, pushing herself too hard. Others were from her Russian dance teachers. A smaller number she would cover with her hand and shrug, her sharp smile accompanying a weak excuse. I quickly learned the size of her father’s fingers by the bruises that looked like pinches. I could draw the size of her ballet instructor’s cane by the hyphenated bruises on the back of her thighs that were three inches too big for his standards. Her feet were a scarred mess, toenails always falling off and sores that never healed.

In her darkened bedroom, one blanket pulled over us both, she used to tell me about the punishments she got for having blood seep through the pink satin of her pointe shoes. Her arms would tighten around my waist as I combed her hair with my fingers. Her hushed voice stuttered over the timed stretches and literal lashes she received for being unable to prevent a red stain. My softer body shuddered at what she had endured, my dancer’s feet only slightly better looking than hers. She would stroke a hand down my back eliciting a shiver before pinching my side lightly and saying goodnight, kissing me on the forehead.

She was a sealed box to all but me. Something I would one day wish I had never opened. Perhaps it had something to do with me taking care of her in school when she had first arrived from Korea. Her English was spotty, her white mother tried her best to get her Korean baby to wrap her small lips around softer sounds but only got confused staring. For those first years, I took care of her. I was her shield from teachers and students alike. Maybe it was her way of repaying the favor, cutting me off from anyone who tried to be my friend. Maybe she didn’t know how to love after her family’s litany of punishments for slights and her ballet instructor’s cane and constant body shaming. Or maybe after all she had endured, she enjoyed hurting someone who trusted her so completely.

As she grew, she became more beautiful. And she used it to her advantage, dating boys who would get her bootleg test answers for a cherry lip gloss kiss. It was first here, in seventh grade that I learned she was growing bored of me. It was when her boyfriend Nate touched and groped my butt, tripping me to look up my skirt, stealing my water bottle and selling it back for a kiss. She would stand by and laugh, looking at me like I was doll for her to play with as she wished. Nate had a different kind of doll in mind, but before his fun she would whisk me off to my house and give me makeovers. She dressed me, did my hair and makeup, and made me promise to wear it for the rest of the day.

As soon as she closed the door behind her, I stripped and returned to my natural state of tomboyish hues and low maintenance hair. Her taste for pink and perfect curls left a raw taste in my mouth, my opinion counting about as much as hers always did in her parents’ house. It was at this point that I started having dreams of abandoning her. Jen often told me what to do, and most of the time I said yes. But the rare times I would look at her black Pumas and say no, she would lift my chin with her finger and glare at me.

“Do it or I’ll tell my mom you don’t need a ride home. I’ll leave you behind and let you find your own way back. I think you’d make it before dark. Maybe Nate will walk you home.” She would speak like I was her disobedient child. I would grit my teeth and do as she asked, my heart pounding in my chest. It was because of her that my first panic attack started a wild chain of obeisance and obedience. Opportunities to choose for myself came few and far between. She started ending most sentences with “Tell anyone and I’ll kill you. I know where my dad keeps his hunting knife.”

That would make my heart stutter no matter if it was the fourth time I had heard it that day. At the same time, I didn’t think I could ever leave her. We needed each other. I thought it was better that she hurt me instead of another. I thought she would keep me awake when I drifted into an anxiety attack. I asked her to hurt me if it was what she wanted to hear. I feared her more than God, her influence had wormed its way deep into my life. I saw her every day for almost four years, my fear and love for her growing with each encounter.

As she grew in popularity, she isolated me often leaving me in the company of her boyfriend of the week. These encounters either ended in fist fights delaying sexual harassment or muscle flexing competitions. This isolation lead to the school’s prime rumor that year: that I was a lesbian in love with my best friend (it’s still funny to me that the worst insult in middle school was “lesbian”). While I was in love with her, the lesbian part was incorrect.

Jen’s family life continued to pound her body and she often used makeup to cover her bruises and cuts. I was always there holding the antiseptic and tissues for her inevitable breakdown. After bandaging her up, I would let her take out some of her aggression on me. I thought it would help her to not blow up in school. I reassured her she was beautiful, and she told me she wanted to kill me. I guess you could say we were both toxic. We both had reasons to cry and hurt each other, but when it came down to it, we always fell back on each other for comfort. Honestly, I’m not sure if I miss her or want to watch her be beaten to death with her teacher’s cane. Either way, I’m sure I deserve the same.

#abuse tw #poetry #my poetry #personal rant #rant assignment