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#golden trio era fanfiction
theonotti · 6 hours
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Pairing: Theodore Nott x fem!reader
Word Count: 3.8k
Summary: Years have past since the Battle of Hogwarts, and through his grief and desperation, Theo fights to get back every second lost since then.
Warnings: Major Character Death (Not Theo), it's just angst lads
Notes: Been a while! But I'm back with some writing! This fic will be 3 parts in total. Shoutout to @classyartisanpizza for letting me write this idea! <3
Masterlist
~
The nightmares are the worst part.
It's always the nightmares.
Theo wakes with a start, his chest heaving as he abruptly sits up. It takes a moment of his eyes darting around in fear for him to realise he's simply in bed. No battle. No green bursts of light flying inches from his head. No bodies dropping around him.
He closes his eyes, running his hand down his face to rid the beads of sweat rolling down his skin. Though he forces himself to take deep breaths, his heart continues to race. The room feels so warm. Why does the room feel so warm? His chestnut curls fall over his eyes, slightly matted to his forehead, and for the briefest of moments, he considers shaving his head.
The vivid technicolor of the nightmares always gets him. Blaring realism and exaggerated memories have him waking in a panic without fail.
A hand runs up Theo's lower back, followed by a soft voice speaking in tongues and distortion. A chill runs up his spine as his fight or flight kicks into high gear, causing him to jump off the bed and point his wand directly at the perpetrator.
Daphne Greengrass stares back at him, looking mainly annoyed yet mildly confused as she wraps the sheet around her naked form. There's a long, tense silence as the two of them stare at each other, and despite knowing there's no threat, Theo doesn't bother to lower his wand.
"I thought I said no sleeping over."
His voice is clipped, a stark contrast from the sultry tone he had taken with her the night before. Then again, he doesn't ever have to work in order for Daphne to become putty in his hands. Not really. Him putting on the show just makes him feel better about using her.
She sits up slightly, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face. Even in the dark, the blush that fills her cheeks is unmissable.
"You fell asleep and I-"
"That's not an invitation."
You're such an asshole, He tells himself. But he can't help it. The point of the rule was so that he'd never have to wake up to Daphne. She's not ugly, or entirely terrible to be around. But his care for her only extends to the point of what she does for him. A means to an end. And the end is to distract him from the never ending abyss of his mind and the standing void in his chest.
Besides, that spot in the bed belongs to someone else.
Belonged-
No. Belongs.
Another beat passes before Theo realises that his wand is still raised, and he finally lowers it to his side. Although he should feel worse about his overreaction, he's only a slight tinged embarrassed. It's being overshadowed by his annoyance.
Daphne takes a moment to stare at him, her eyes searching his face for the humour that never comes. A quiet sigh of relief escapes his mouth when she finally climbs out of his bed and starts to get dressed.
"What are you doing later?" She asks while pulling her shirt over her head.
The clock on the wall reads quarter till three in the morning.
Theo tries to hide his smug irritation at the fact that she's already trying to plan when she sees him again, despite his complete disregard for her only moments ago.
When he doesn't respond right away, Daphne looks over at him, throwing a sock off his floor right at his face. In another life, with another person, Theo would've found this gesture amusing, but right now, he just stares at her in exasperation.
"I'm busy."
Merlin, you're a fucking asshole.
But Daphne remains unfazed as she pulls her jeans up her legs and fastens them.
"Maybe next week then? I'm working all weekend."
And despite his self awareness, Theo just can't fucking help himself.
"I'll call you."
Now he's done it. The sting ripples through her face as she pauses all movement, her eyes falling back on him. Under her confused gaze, the temperature in the room falls, but Theo keeps his expression neutral. For a long moment, they just stare at each other in tense silence, before finally Daphne breaks the prolonged eye contact to finish putting her trainers on.
"I don't understand why we keep doing this, Theo," She says in a low voice as she ties her right shoe. It's clear she's trying to be more confident in her words than hurt, but she's failing. "You clearly don't want to commit to me or even care about me. Why do you keep phoning if you can't be bothered?"
Theo leans his back against the wall, his shoulder brushing the door frame of his bedroom. The words leave his mouth before he's able to process them, or to consider not saying them.
"Because you always come running."
Twenty years on this planet and you still don't know when to shut your bloody mouth.
Daphne looks appalled as the words hang in the air. Despite the fact that Theo's guilt is radiating off of him and filling the room at a suffocating rate, he continues to say nothing else. An eternity later, she snatches her coat off the floor and storms out of the room, slamming Theo's bedroom door so loudly that he flinches, followed by the slamming of the front door of his flat.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Theo pushes off the wall, walking over to his bed and collapsing on top of the covers.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
As he buries his face in the pillow, desperate to go back to sleep, his mind starts to drift back to the nightmare that started the domino effect events of the evening. A chill runs up his spine for a second time as he dives head first into the dreams that haunt his subconscious damn near every time he closes his eyes.
The falling bodies.
The walls crumbling down.
The flashes of bright green flying passed his head.
The set of eyes. His favourites. Watching as the life drains out of them.
Theo abruptly jumps out of his bed, his hands trembling slightly as he walks briskly to the door and throws it open. His flat is dead silent, save the sound of his footsteps across the hardwood floor. Through the darkness, he can make out the faint outline of his black cat moving quickly across the floor towards him.
"Piss off, Shadow," He mutters to the cat. She doesn't seem to notice his hostility as she continues to move between his legs. But he's quite rehearsed in this dance at this point, and manages to cross the pitch black living room without tripping over her and falling on his face. He makes his way to the spare bedroom, the room that used to be where he worked on his potions.
That is, until more important projects grabbed Theo in a chokehold.
Unlocking the door with his wand, he quickly goes inside quickly, making sure the cat didn't follow him through before shutting the door behind him.
~
"Mattheo, I'm fine."
"Is the kidnapper in the room with you and forcing you to say that?"
Theo rolls his eyes, rubbing his right eyelid with his free hand as his other one stirs the brewing potion in the cauldron in front of him. His phone rests on the desk next to him with his best friend's display name taking over the screen, the call on speaker.
"You think a kidnapper would willingly keep me?" He asks as he lets his free hand drop back to his wooden desk, accidentally into a puddle of spilled potion that had toppled from the cauldron. Making a face, Theo instinctively wipes his fingers off on his jeans. "They'd return me before you'd even realised I'm gone."
Mattheo lets out a quiet laugh before saying, "You're right. I'd say we could use the break, but no one's seen you in weeks."
Theo lets his other hand drop to the desk, sighing exasperatedly.
"Mate. We've just hung out. At the Leaky Cauldron, yeah? When Malfoy got so piss drunk, he fell in the toilets and smacked his face on a sink."
The memory causes a ghost of a smile to form on Theo's face, but the silence on the other end of the phone causes it to fade just as quickly.
"Hello? Did I lose you, Riddle?"
When Mattheo speaks, his voice is uncharacteristically quiet.
"That was two months ago."
Every single muscle in Theo's face slackens.
"What? No. That can't be right. It was just two weeks ago, yeah?"
"No, Theo. It was two months ago."
Shaking his head, Theo grabs his phone, switching to check the date as he stammers whispered denials, more to himself than anything. But Mattheo is right. Two months have passed since that last hangout, and besides the occasional mess around with Daphne, which he assumes are now over since the debacle a few nights prior, Theo hasn't seen anyone else since.
Where did the time go?
You know where the time went.
"We're really worried, mate," Mattheo says in a soft voice. "I know it's been hard, but-"
"Don't," Theo barks, almost instinctively as he sets his phone back on the desk. He knows where this conversation is going, because this is where the conversation always goes.
"It's been almost three years, Theo."
Theo shakes his head, his eyes closing as the air slowly starts to syphon from the room.
"It's not- Surely I can't be expected to just forget."
A quiet sigh rings out from the other side of the phone, as Theo fights to keep his rising emotions in check.
"Of course you wouldn't forget. We just-"
Theo quickly shakes his head, not wanting to hear the same things he always here's when one of his friends decides to play therapist for him.
"Oh shit, I've just remembered I have better things to do than have this conversation."
Theo lifts his hand towards his phone, with the intent to hang up, when he heard Mattheo's desperate voice quickly calling to him.
"Meet in the Three Broomsticks tonight!"
Theo pauses, staring at his phone as his brain starts its usual war on itself whenever someone wants him to do anything that isn't rotting at home. On one hand, going out with his friends would placate them for long enough that they won't have yet another conversation like this one. But on the other hand…
He's close. He's so close to figuring it out. And any time that isn't dedicated to figuring it out is, in his eyes, a complete waste.
But as he stares down at his best friend's name on his phone, he lets out a heavy sigh.
"Piss off."
He can practically hear Mattheo's smug grin in his voice.
"See you there," He says, before promptly hanging up the phone.
A heavy sigh forcing its way out of his mouth, Theo turns back to the cauldron in front of him.
You need a break.
Maybe stepping back for a night and coming back will trigger an epiphany.
Theo lets out a resigned sigh. The last thing he wants to do is step away. When he's away from the work room, he feels like he can't breathe. When he's not working or researching or planning or even contemplating, he feels like he's drowning.
In his head, he's running out of time. But with every centimetre closer he gets to the finish line, he gets another centimetre closer to getting every lost moment back.
~
The remaining butterbeer swishes circles at the bottom of the glass as Theo twists it with his wrist. A quiet yet fake laugh comes out of his mouth, if only to mix in with the loud, howl-like laughter surrounding him from whatever funny thing Blaise just said.
Merlin, I should've gotten a firewhiskey.
Though, he knows it would've been a bad idea. His tolerance for alcohol has grown concerningly high over the last few years, and he doesn't want to explain why he would've been fully functional after seven hard drinks while his friends would be well beyond wasted.
So he sips his butterbeer under the guise that he has an early morning the next day. If he had more observant friends, they would see through this excuse, but fortunately for him, they tend to miss a lot when it comes down to the quiet, chestnut haired lad whose mind is rarely on planet Earth.
"Oi. Space Cadet. Can you join us for a moment?"
Theo takes a casual drink from his glass as his eyes land on Malfoy.
"Give me something worth joining in on," He quips as he gently sets the glass back down on the table. The blond rolls his eyes as Mattheo and Blaise both let out a chuckle.
"We were just talking about the Harpies. Whether they'll make the cup," Mattheo explains just as the barmaid approaches with their refills. The fresh butterbeer is set down in front of Theo at the same time as he lets out his own laugh. A genuine one, this time.
"The Harpies will make the Cup the same day Malfoy stops bleaching his hair."
Now it's howling laughter from the two other lads as Malfoy slams his mug down on the table, pointing at Theo maliciously.
"Don't start your bullshit, Nott."
"I saw the bottle in your trunk, Malfoy. Third year. One never forgets."
"I don't bleach my fucking hair, and if you say it again, I'll make sure you can't see it ever again."
Theo doesn't miss a beat.
"Is that a promise?"
As Riddle and Zabini keep giggling, the alcohol already to their heads, Theo keeps his wits about him as he stares at the tip of Draco's finger that's still only inches from his face.
"Stand down, Malfoy," Blaise finally interjects. "You've become entirely too serious since getting hitched."
The silver band on that left fourth finger glints in the dim lighting as Draco pulls his arm back down towards his lap. Despite his recoil at the scolding, his eyes don't quite stop glaring their daggers towards Theo, who takes another unbothered sip of his drink.
"Maybe it helped me grow up. Someone should take a page out of that book."
Theo feels his fingers tense around the glass, the heat rushing to his cheeks.
Prick.
Prick.
Absolute wanker.
Dead man walking.
If my life hadn't fallen apart, I would've been married by now. Maybe I'd even have kids.
A wave of nausea hits him at the thought. Instinctively, his eyes shift to look at the door, as his mind searches for his excuse to leave. If his shift in demeanour isn't obvious to every person at the table, it definitely is to Mattheo, who quickly clears his throat.
"Anyone hear about the hunt for whoever's trying to replicate the time turners?"
Theo's entire body ceases, his throat trapping any sound or breath from escaping, meanwhile his brain starts to race at speeds he has never experienced before. The conversation shifts to this topic as Theo desperately tries to remember how to breathe.
"What's the hold up?" Blaise questions before he empties his glass. Mattheo does the same while lifting his shoulders into a shrug.
"Whoever is doing it, they've covered their tracks quite well. But the Ministry has their best people trying to find them before they're able to muck up anything."
A quiet murmur fills the silence of the table. Sweat beads Theo's forehead as he accidentally chugs his entire glass. No one appears to notice, to his relief.
"How are they able to track that?" Malfoy asks curiously as he drums his fingers against the wood top table.
"A time turner has an Hour Reversal charm encased in the centre," Mattheo explains. "The Ministry is alerted every time one is cast, but whoever is doing it has protected themselves so much that their location is damn near impossible to track." Mattheo pauses to take a drink before he continues. "If it wasn't so infuriating, I'd be impressed."
A slight smirk crosses Malfoy's face before he says, "I take it the 'Ministry's best people' includes your team?"
Mattheo rolls his eyes, though the slight pink hue that covers his cheeks is unmissable. Despite him being nothing like his father, Mattheo has always been slightly embarrassed by his position in the Ministry. While Zabini, Malfoy and Theo all view it as a growth and a middle finger to Voldemort and the Death Eaters, Mattheo sometimes views it as a betrayal, though he only mentions it after he's hit a certain point of inebriation.
"It is a job for the Misuse of Magic department, in my opinion. So yeah, the best people include my team."
Silence fills the table as everyone takes a sip of their drinks. Theo swallows the lump in his throat.
And then he speaks.
"Any evidence that they've been successful?"
The table turns to look at him, and he does his best to appear casual when he shrugs.
"Just curious."
Mattheo shakes his head.
"We'll be alerted if they actually go back," He explains. "Which will lead to their arrest, if they continue to use the Hour Reversal charm."
"Doesn't that only go back five hours?" Blaise asks, receiving a nod from the curly haired man to his right. Theo can feel the impending panic rising in his chest, but he swallows it down.
In theory, it's only five hours.
But with a little tampering, it's longer.
Not that I would know.
No sir.
"Not unless they do something to strengthen the spell," Mattheo says casually. "Like some sort of potion. Or enchanting the sand in the Hourglass."
Theo's face goes slack, and it feels like his entire body grows hot.
There it is.
That epiphany.
His eyes fall back onto Mattheo, the room glowing in a new light as a chill slowly trails down through his extremities and his fingers and toes.
Instinctively, Theo tries to stand before he realises he's in the corner seat of the booth. The rest of the table looks at him in surprise.
"Nott?" Malfoy asks as Theo uses the table and the ledge behind the seat to launch himself over Mattheo and the booth, out into the aisle, only making their shock grow further.
"Fuck, sorry I forgot. I need to- I have-" He stammers, knowing full well nothing he says will be able to explain his sudden change in demeanour. The looks on their faces are the same sort of looks they'd have if he had stripped down in front of them and started screaming like a banshee. He closes his eyes, putting his hands out in front of him as he takes a second to calm down. When he speaks again, it's with less urgency. "I need to go."
And with that, Theo turns and sprints out of the Three Broomsticks.
Before the door swings shut behind him, he can make out Mattheo's distant voice shouting his name. But if any of the lads make any attempt to follow, Theo moves too fast for them to have any sort of success. Once out of the village, Theo apparates back home.
Where he stays for almost ninety six straight hours.
He doesn't sleep. He doesn't eat. He barely leaves his office to use the bathroom. And he definitely doesn't shower.
Theo's marathon is filled with work. The spell strengthening potion alone takes sixteen hours to brew, needing close management. And that was after all of the work he needed to put in in order to put the potion together. Meanwhile, he does an appalling amount of research, scouring text upon text about how one would enchant the sand. When he comes up with next to nothing after twelve hours worth of reading, he moves on to Plan B.
He starts to create his own spells.
It's not the first time Theo's dabbled in spell creation, but it is the first time it's something that's more serious than trying to make Malfoy's farts come out as actual bubbles. (A failed experiment, much to his thirteen year old self's detriment.) But this time is different. Hanging over the desk where he works is the picture of his motivation. And every time he starts to feel like he's failing, he looks up at the picture and a new resolve fills him.
Because he can't fail.
Failing isn't and never will be an option.
Every botched attempt leads to more research. Every new piece of information brings him that much closer.
Until, after almost ninety six hours of what he thought was going to lead to nothing, the moment is here.
He pulls the time turner out of the cauldron, and he can feel it. Despite having used the tongs to pull it out from the potion, Theo can feel the silver metals vibrating with magic, and that's how he knew.
It worked.
His hands tremble in the same manner as he reaches to touch it, almost hesitant from the anxiety that is running rampant in his head. But when his fingertips graze the warmth of the metal, nothing happens. Nothing changes. He looks around the room for a brief moment before looking back down at the makeshift Time Turner in his hands.
Spinning his chair around and leaning back, he examines the creation. His mind is quick to resume his doubts that it didn't work, despite the pure confidence he had just a moment before. Couldn't have worked. Because nothing he's done in the last few years has.
And yet.
There's only one way to find out.
Grabbing his phone from his pocket, he props it up on his knee before he turns the screen on.
And then, he gives the spindle in his hand a turn to the right.
Theo can feel his heart stop as he watches the minutes on his phone go down with every tick of the Time Turner.
It worked.
It actually fucking worked.
A tsunami of emotions runs through Theo, overwhelming him so strongly that he has to turn back around to lean on his desk. For a moment, he lays his head on the desk, in the cradle that is his arms, basking in the darkness as he takes three long, deep breaths.
And then he looks up to the picture on the wall.
To his motivation. To the one he's been working for.
To the picture of you.
"Did you see that, pretty girl?" He asks in a gentle voice.
The spell hits your chest.
And the life leaves your eyes.
His voice is a little choked as he raises the Time Turner to the picture on the wall, wishing once again it was actually you and not just a moving idea behind a piece of paper.
"I'm coming for you."
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moonsbypadfoot · 1 month
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interest | theodore nott x female reader.
warnings : angst, fluff, based on real live events that I am still going through! (Some parts are still made up, I've only experienced the first half, the second half are made up) 😘🙃, slytherin reader (doesn't really affect the story), usage of y/n, short, short, short fan fiction, wrote this in like 30 mins, english isn't my first language and I am convinced that I'm dyslexic, second person pov,
have fun reading!
🦖
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it was your fifth year at hogwarts, fifth year being friends with pansy, and your fifth year being hopelessly inlove with theodore.
yes, you've had 'relationships' before him, but he was still at the back of your mind. theodore was still lingering.
Theo seemed funny, moody, and so much more, but, you didn't expect him to like books.
Pansy looked down while eating her food, and simply said "you're reading little women too? Theodore loves that book" To which you hushed her immediately.
But that didn't stop you from asking her about Theo,later that day. "He likes it? " You asked, showing the book to pansy, "who likes what? " Pansy scrunched her eyebrows, and you groaned loudly.
"Theodore, pansy, Theodore! "
Pansy nodded her head, saying "oh yeah, he likes it". You gasped at how chill she is, and you said " This might be it pansy! ".
And oh you were right, it is it. You and daphne were sitting on a bench, gossiping about other people. When all of the sudden, Theodore passed you two, and said "Laurie, mhm? ".
"So you do like little women? " You and daphne's attention were shifted to him "since forever", and just like that, he left.
That became a more and more of a schedule for you to sit on that same bench everyday, on the exact same time. Daphne doesn't know that you still like him, it was well common knowledge that you used to like Theodore, but, everyone thought that you had moved on.
Daphne was so tired of Theodore, that whenever she sees him coming to you two, she'd roll her eyes sand say stuff like 'here he goes again' and make the biggest sigh ever.
Your first 'real' conversation was him coming up to you, saying "I like jo more than amy". At that point you didn't know what to say, neither Daphne or Pansy was there to make you less tense.
You scoffed "Amy is way better". You tried to keep yourself cool, and you did just that.
For days to days you two became closer. You'd have little chit chats after dinner, and your liking for him became bigger, but it shouldn't have.
"I have some little women.. Merch, I can send it to your room, later" Theodore suggested. "First of all, pansy would kill me if I had a boy in my room. Second of all, that will not happen cause if you do the stairs will turn into a literal slide and make you look stupid" You said, to which he just started at you.
You stupidly dreamt of him in your room, which is obviously forbidden.
Unsurprisingly, Daphne eventually found out about you still liking him, and she's convinced that Theo likes you back.
"Do you not remember what he said? 'I used to like little women, now I like it again because of her' and the boy pointed at you! And do you not remember quidditch? "
Oh boy, you do remember Quidditch.
His Quidditch match was last Wednesday, and two days before that, you two made a bet. If he won, you have to give him 15 galleons, and if he lose, he has to give you 15 galleons.
See, that same week, your professors had bombarded everyone with exams. So, if it wasn't for him you wouldn't have watched any of the Quidditch stuff.
That Wednesday, you kept exactly 15 galleons in your pocket. And, unsurprisingly he won. The slytherins celebrated like crazy, and, after that, you came up to him, saying "I could've bought myself candy but, I have your 15 galleons".
"No need for that," Theodore softly smiles, and went back to his friends who were cheering and waiting for him.
That day you couldve swore you spent a thousand hour telling pansy what you felt.
All of the sudden, Theodore didn't seem interested. You hadn't told Daphne about this, but pansy is so mas at him for the sudden stop of interest.
"See, boys are immature" Pansy groaned and rolled her eyes. "I wanted to know about his friend and, theodore-"
"Not so loud! " You sushed her, reminding that you two were still in the great hall. You doubt anyone heard you but, still, for safety reasons. "How about.. My 'him', we can call him uh.. "
"Toaster, cause if he doesn't act right Im gonna-"
"Hold your horses, pansy, let's call him trex"
"Fine, you're way too nice for that guy, and uhm, what should I call my 'him'? " Pansy asked, and, there was one minute of silence.
"Maybe trial number #2? "
That was the day your nicknames were born, and, things excelated from there. 'Trial #2', which is blaise, talked to pansy in the Slightest way possible, and 'trex' which is theo is talking to you, but he makes the conversation as dry as possible.
Theo is almost always the conversation starter, but when it comes to keeping the conversation going, it's you, and it is hardwork to keep Theo talking to you
That also reminded you of a conversation you had a long, long time ago with millicent. About how he's broken home and doesn't have a mother, and turns out it was true.
"So, that explains the on and off thing with you and him" Pansy shrugged "if you're really in love with him, you're in some really deep shit. Trial #2 barely talks to me"
and in deep shit you are, as the days became longer because he didn't want to talk to you. Pansy convinced you enough to just stop talking to him.
You felt better but, there is still something in you still craving him dearly.
"He's just there, pansy, like.. Like a word about to be spoken, but then vanishes out of our brains! One second he's there and the next he's gone! " You complained.
What made you more confused is that, you and him became more confusing. You felt like you're more than a friend, but you don't know what it is because of one thing he said.
It was common for you friends, lorenzo, and Mattheo, to tease you about Theo. It's as if they know.
Obviously, Theo was there too, along with Daphne next to you. "Y/n, I think you and Theodore are a good fit" Lorenzo laughed, and the others chimed with agreement. But, it was a subtle whisper from Theo that made you down for the rest of the day. "Don't say that, I like astoria"
You kept laughing, though it was obvious for those who actually knows you that your laugh was so fake.
You kept ignoring him, and you truly do feel better for once. As pansy says 'give him taste of his own medicine ' and you did what she said, and you felt better, for awhile.
Till he came up to you and forced you to confess.
"The fuck is wrong with you y/n? " Theodore said. "What do you mean? " You said, but, the pit in your stomach tells you exactly what he means.
"You're avoiding me. I thought we were friends"
"That's the problem" You said, in a confusing tone, which made him think.. Was it a question or a statement?
"I thought we couldve been more, Theo" You rolled your eyes at his oblivion, and you paused "you like astoria, don't you, mhm? You said it yourself".
Theo frowned "don't act so innocent, you and Macmillan were so close I thought you two were dating".
"I wasn't" You paused, "I moved on a long time ago, unlike you, no one moves on in the span of two weeks".
"Her friends told me she doesn't like me! "
"So what? That makes it right? I don't care if she likes you or not, I care if you like her or not. If I'm just your second choice, this won't work. Pansy told me that I'm better than any boys in Hogwarts, and I agree with her! Because boys like you suck"
"I like you, okay? Will you get that into your thick skull?" Theodore groaned and rolled his eyes.
"You're weird" You said, "what about me Is weird? " Theo asks.
"Your on and off stuff. You act interested, then when I actually wanna talk to you you get so dry, do you not think of that? Or you're actually really dumb? "
"You ignored me too"
"That's because I wanted you to feel what I felt! "
You honestly felt sad but, anger was more visible. But Theo looked emotionless. He wasn't happy, angry, sad, he was just there.
You both wanted to say something, but you didn't. Neither you nor Theo said a thing. You opened your bag and found your book, well, technically his.
"Here's a book that i borrowed" You said, giving it to him. "You can keep it" Theo pushed the book back to you, but your hand didn't budge. "No thanks, theo.. Ive written somethings in pencil. Don't worry too much because it's so thin you could barely tell what I wrote, a single swipe with your finger or eraser, it'll be gone".
A week has passed. And you knew for a fact he didn't re read the book.
On your favorite page, you wrote 'three broomsticks, next month, 9:00 AM? ' a month ago.
You knew way more than to come there, or did you?
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veryberryjelly · 8 months
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THINIKING ABT THE READER LOVING MATTHEO RIDDLES ABS ARMS VIENS
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𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
honestly same.
i picture laying in his dorm waiting for quidditch practice to be over cause you haven't seen him in a couple days.
he comes up drenched in sweat from practice and you cannot even understand the first few words he says cause you're just so focused on the way his shirt has ridden up above his navel.
" a bit distracted there, beautiful ? "
" no..."
but he can see the blush he has created on your cheeks, which only gets worse when he pulls his shirt over his head and drops it to the floor, practically jumping onto the bed beside you.
before you can even comprehend how sexy he looks like this he kisses you and you practically melt into the sheets.
your hands travel down his chest to his stomach and your fingers run greedily over the dips that define his abs.
" missed you " you mutter against his lips.
" me or my abs "
" you don't want me to answer that question "n
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notti-stellate · 9 months
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Sick
Draco Malfoy x reader
Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, puking, ect.
a/n: I'm gonna be completely honest I have no idea where this came from but I'm not complaining. Genuinely don't know what this is I just kinda blinked and this happened. Enjoy (I hope)
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from pinterest
“Would you stop being a baby,” I groaned, “you have a stomach bug, Draco, you’re not dying.” 
“You don’t know that,” he replied with a sniffle.
I turned away from his door towards the bed only to be met with the most pathetic look from my usually stoic boyfriend. The floor beside his bed was riddled with tissues and various blankets and sweatshirts. You could even see the redness around his eyes and his unusually flushed cheeks.
“Oh love, why don’t you go see Madam Pomfrey.” I sighed, walking over to his bed.
“She’s out for the week,” He replied, closing his eyes as a wave of nausea hit. 
Within a second he bolted for the bathroom. I followed behind when I heard gagging, immediately crouching down beside him to attempt to comfort him. After a few minutes the retching stopped only to be followed by small whimpers. 
“It’s alright love, are you done” I whispered, rubbing small circles into his back over his worn sweatshirt. He nodded mournfully as he slowly sat up. I pulled him up and steadily guided him back to his bed.
“Lay with me?” He pleaded, opening his arms.
“Here, drink some water first.”  I said, handing him his water bottle and crawling into bed beside him. He sighed, tiredly, as he pulled me closer to rest his head on my chest. We both sat in silence as I carded my fingers through his hair, slowly drifting off shortly after him.
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tealeafgrimm · 2 years
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Cold Nights
Harry Potter x Reader Words: 716 Summary: Together with the Golden Trio you are searching for Horcruxes and winter has come. Despite all the measures, you just can't get warm and the cold keeps you from sleeping. But the concept of body heat could help you.
Months had passed since the beginning of your search. So far you had only had minor successes. To make matters worse, winter had finally caught up with you. The temperatures had dropped surprisingly sharply overnight. But today it snowed for the first time. And not just a little. You didn't know when you had last seen so much snow.
Like every night, Hermione had conjured up her glass-fires to warm up the tent. This seemed to be enough for Ron, Hermione and Harry, but you were incredibly cold. You had pulled your blanket up to under the tip of your nose to try and expose as little of your body as possible to the cold air.
Tired, you looked at the other beds. Ron was snoring and obviously fast asleep. Hermione and Harry were also lying motionless in their beds. You yourself were also tired, but the cold made your body shiver. Your teeth were chattering and you were struggling to control your body's twitching.
You didn't know what else to do. You didn't want to wake the others. Rolling onto your side, you pulled your knees towards you, hoping to warm yourself with your own body. Again your teeth chattered.
"Is everything okay?" you heard Harry murmur tiredly. He was sleeping in the bed closest to you. In the dim light of the blue flames, you could see his face. He looked at you from squinted eyes.
"Y-yes, I'm fine. I'm just cold," you replied, shivering. You didn't want him to lose sleep over you.
"I can hear your teeth chattering all the way over here. Didn't you put a warming spell on your blanket?"
"Of course I did. I don't know why I'm so cold. I feel like my toes are freezing." You tried to laugh, but to be honest, you felt more like crying. You were dead tired and all you wanted to do was sleep.
The rustling of a duvet pulled you out of your thoughts. You could see Harry's silhouette coming towards you.
"Move over a bit." Harry was standing right in front of your bed, looking down at you.
"What?" you asked him, confused.
"I want you to slide over a bit."
"What for?"
"I can't sleep with your teeth chattering like that. You need to sleep, I'm just trying to help you."
You made room for him. Not a second later he had laid down next to you. His body heat was directly noticeable.
"Thank you Harry," you whispered and pressed yourself as close to him as you could.
He put a hand around your waist. You were glad it was dark, because a blush crept into your cheeks. You hadn't wanted to admit it to yourself before, but you had definitely had a crush on him for a long time. But at the same time he was your best friend and you didn't want to risk losing him as such.
What you didn't realise was the fact that you weren't the only person who was suddenly unfathomably flustered. Harry lay rigidly beside you. When he had decided to lie down in bed with you, he had not expected that being so close to you would paralyse him. He didn't know how to position himself. He didn't want to pressure you into anything and at the same time he never wanted to let you go again.
It took quite a while until you both finally fell asleep. But at some point exhaustion overcame both of you. The cold of winter had disappeared in the meantime and a pleasant warmth enveloped you, allowing you a peaceful and deep sleep.
The next morning Hermione and Ron were the first to wake up. Surprised and grinning at the same time, they both looked at the sleeping figures of their two friends.
"It's about time they finally got together," Ron finally said. It had been exhausting to watch the two of them dancing around each other.
"Do you think we should wake them up?" asked Hermione quietly. 
"Don't you dare," a raspy voice replied, making Ron and Hermione jump and wince.
Harry had opened one eye, looked at his two friends, wrapped his arm tighter around you and finally closed his eyes again.
The search for Horcruxes could wait another hour or two.
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kinzis-writing · 5 months
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Better than Revenge | M.R [4]
It had been almost two years since Y/N and Mattheo had been best friends. Y/N had decided that it was time to face her past and deal with whatever consequences would follow.
This chapter will probably contain a lot of Soft! Mattheo, which is ooc but i hope you enjoy.
Pairing(s): Mattheo Riddle x Y/N Nettleby, Ex! Theodore Nott x Y/N Nettlby.
Warning(s): order of the phoenix spoilers (a bit), mentions of sexual activities, degrading/slight abuse by parents,
iv. “this is why we can’t have nice things, darling”
Chapter Four
*Gif not mine* *not edited or proofread*
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It had been approximately four days since the Slytherin party and Y/N had tried her best to avoid Mattheo and his friends. It was easier to avoid the Slytherin friend group compared to Mattheo, as it seemed that he looked for her in every class, between every class, and at every meal. She had shaken him off every time and ignored him as much as possible, but that did little to stop him.
"Y/N!" The voice of Hermione had torn through the silence of the library. The Granger girl hurriedly making her way over to her housemate. "Lorenzo told me to come find you, Riddle is fighting Nott." she spoke fast.
Y/N shot up from her chair quickly, leaving her items and headed to where Hermione was taking her. It wasn't long before the two Gryffindor girls were stopping where their friend group was trying to break them up and other houses just watching. "Hey!" Y/N yelled as she walked towards the fight.
"Y/N." Sean warned as his sister shrugged him off and went towards the fight again since he had stopped her.
"Mattheo Riddle!" Y/N yelled breaking the boys apart as she carefully pushed them away from each other, her hand staying on the one she had called. "Stop it, both of you!" she yelled again. The Slytherin friend group cleared the hallways since the fight was under control and they didn't have to worry about their friends killing each other. "What in merlin's name happened?" she asked, looking at each one of the boys.
Mattheo stood their breathing heavy and glaring at Theo, who didn't dare look at anyone. Veronica wore a proud smile on her face, unknowingly being caught by the rest of the group. "Theo was insulting you." Enzo stated simply, not wanting to go into detail in such a public place.
"If she would put out-" Veronica started before Theodore shook his head indicating her to stop when he noticed Mattheo go to step forward, but Y/N held him back. The Nettleby girl was afraid that he would not be afraid of punching a girl right now.
"Let's go." She muttered pulling Mattheo along with her and not giving any of the Slytherin's her attention. She quietly led the boy to her dormitory and straight to the shared bathroom.
She didn't say anything as she sat him down on the toilet and started using some healing spells that she knew to heal him the best she could. Some of his wounds and marks were still there, but truth be told Theo looked worse.
"This was a bad idea." Y/N stated as she avoided Mattheo's gaze and walked out of the bathroom, him following her, once she had finished the healing spells. "This plan was rubbish, especially when it makes you and Theo fight. Merlin, you two were best friends before me." she muttered.
"He won't disrespect you s'long as i'm around." Mattheo mumbled as he took a seat on the girl's bed not knowing what to expect from her next.
Y/N shook her head as she stopped pacing and turned to face the boy that she had known very well since first year. "What was the fight even about?" she asked, knowing that it had to do with the issue between her and Theo.
"that bitch seems to have an influence on Theodore." Mattheo spoke as he eyed the girl in front of him. "Veronica started first, saying how our relationship must be draining because lack of activities, your ex then going on to say that there's better lays."
Y/N nodding, even though she didn't quite understand why her not having sex with him would be this big of an issue. Maybe it was an insecurity problem, or maybe it was the only thing he truly wanted from their relationship. Whatever the case, she knew that they were not worth her breath. Yet something had to give, because she was not finishing the next two years at school and dealing with the two wizards fighting.
"Come on," Y/N spoke as she grabbed Mattheo's hand and led him out of her dorm and made her way towards the Slytherin common room. She was going to settle this once and for all, whether it made people mad or not. "Pureblood." she spoke the the door and entered the common room as the door opened, Mattheo trailing behind her.
Just as she had suspected, the friend group had skipped class after the fight had broken out. The couple joined the group, as they caught everyone's attention. Veronica looked pissed and unhappy that they had decided to show up, when they were probably getting scolded by the friend group.
"I'll leave after I say this because I am done with how immature you two are acting," She started as she pointed to her ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. "also the fact that the fights between you two," pointing at Mattheo and Theodore. "are absurd." she finished causing everyone to agree with those statements that had been made.
The girl turned to Theo before giving him a look, "You honestly want the truth? Because I have a feeling you won't want it once I started confessing." She asked the man that she used to have feelings for. When no one said anything, she looked at Mattheo to see if he had any feelings about people finding out about them. "It's true that I didn't sleep with you" She admitted to the group but kept her gaze locked on Theo's so he would know she was telling the truth. "I was going to the night you broke up with me," She admitted making Mattheo rolled his eyes and her brother look away not wanting to hear that.
"I didn't have sex with Theodore, but I wasn't a prude." Y/N looked straight in the eyes of Veronica as she spoke those words knowing that it showed who she truly was. "I lost my virginity to Mattheo the day before my birthday, 5 months before Theodore and I started dating." She told the group honestly. Sean looked sick because he didn’t want to hear that about his best friend and sister, Theo was angry and Veronica was surprised. The others not saying anything and just absorbing the information. “Besides there was other things done besides…” she trailed off before shaking her head and deciding against saying it.
Theo’s angry eyes burned right into Mattheo’s as he stood up and rushed towards the boy. Enzo pulling Y/N out of the way knowing what was coming. The Nott boys wand pressing against the neck of Mattheo. Of course, everyone thought that he wouldn’t do anything but it’s the fact that he would go that far.
“I should hex you.” Theo spoke dangerously low to his housemate and best friend.
“Now, why would you do that Nott?” Mattheo spoke calmly. Knowing nothing was going to happen and if it did that he could control the situation.
Y/N spoke up, knowing that it may make things worse but she hoped it made it better. “There’s no reason for that Theodore.” She spoke calmly, but her nerves were going wild for Mattheo. She knew he could handle his own, knowing where he came from. Still didn’t make her worry any less.
“This is rubbish, Theo.” Veronica started as she stood up and went over to rub his arm. “She isn’t worth it.”
Theodore shook her off and continued his hard glare at his best friend. “you took that from me.” He muttered causing the Riddle boy to furrow his eyebrows in confusion. “I was suppose to get that experience.”
Mattheo’s gaze darkened at what his housemate was meaning, “I didn’t take anything away from you. What experience were you wanting exactly? What claim did you think that you’d have on her?” He asked dangerously low, the patience in his voice wearing thin.
Y/N had enough of all this, she had left the common room without being noticed by Mattheo or Theodore. Who did Theo think he was, being entitled to her and what she had to give. It didn’t make any sense to the girl as to why he was acting like that. Pushing that behind her, she went back to the Gryffindor common room to hopefully have some normal time with her friends.
"Hey guys." Y/N greeted sitting her bag down beside of her and sitting down beside Hermione. Her friends greeted her back before they gave each other knowing looks. They weren't sure if their friend was aware of everything that was going on. "Are you all okay? You're acting strange..."
Hermione glanced around the group before turning her attention to the Nettleby girl, "Have you heard anything about Riddle? or has he told you anything?" she asked cautiously to not make the girl uncomfortable.
Y/N furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head, "No, why?"
"You know about everyone shunning Harry because of... his father and how his mother has escaped from Azkaban, and they haven't found her." Ginny explained to the girl trying to get her to understand their concern and everything about the situation.
Ron looked at Harry before turning his attention to the girls, "Harry said that they think his followers are planning something."
realization dawned on Y/N as her friends continued talking about the situation at hand. It was true about Bellatrix had escaped from Azkaban and she had completely forgotten to ask Mattheo how he felt about it, seeing as it made headlines. Y/N knew that his father was also back, or at least trying to make a comeback. Not only because she trusted her friends but because she could feel it. Coming from a family of death eaters allowed for this stuff to make sense.
"My parents are hosting a dinner that my brother and I have to attend." Y/N spoke making the golden trio and Ginny turn towards her. "I bet it has something to do with him." she added as she looked around her friend group.
"Please tell me you're not going." Harry begged in his own way to his friend. They all knew that Y/N's family was pureblood Slytherin's and death eaters, the Weasley's were even a bit unsure when Ron invited her over for the holidays when he found out that she refused to go home. Now it was clear that she was nothing like her family and wanted a different life, fighting for the good side of things.
Y/N shrugged, "I have to, or they will literally track me down." she mumbled as she noticed the tension in the room.
🪄
It was the time that she had dreaded for the past two weeks. The dinner that her mother had excitedly written to both of her kids about. To make matters worse for the Gryffindor girl, she knew it would be a death eaters meeting, seeing as almost everyone in Sean and Mattheo's group would be there.
"They're going to murder me." Y/N whispered to Sean as the youngest twin sat on her brother's bed as he laid out his suit. "I am a bloody Gryffindor, and everyone that's going to be here is Slytherin death eaters." The twins were still not close, but they were closer than previously due to her connection with Mattheo and after how Theo had treated her.
"I'll go down with you if they try anything." Sean promised as he noticed how distraught his sister looked. "Mattheo won't let anything happen to you either."
Y/N scoffed slightly at what her older brother had said, It was true that Mattheo was far from his parents when no one was around. But how would he act when multiple of his family's allies was in the same room? He had always acted a big stuck up or cold towards the girl whenever the Netteby's hosted Christmas parties and everything. "Our parents like you more, they'll make sure you live. They'll place the unforgivable spell on me."
"You'll survive." Sean promised before shoving his sister out of his room so he could get ready.
Y/N rolled her eyes before going to her room and getting ready. To blend in with everyone that was going to be at Nettleby manor, she had decided on another green dress. Something that would make her look mature but attractive at the same time. She quickly straightened up her hair and makeup before taking a couple deep breaths and heading downstairs to meet whatever fate was waiting for her.
"Y/N, you're late." Mrs. Nettleby scolded her eyes glaring at the girl in front of her. "You don't need to be a bigger disappointment than you already are." she muttered. A few of the other death eaters laughed at the mother's comment.
Y/N held her head high and stood up straighter, "Sorry mother." she muttered before stepping around her mother and going into the kitchen in her house.
"You don't walk away until I say I am done with you!" Mrs. Nettlby spoke harshly as her heels click-clack every time she stormed towards her daughter. "You should be grateful for the life that you have with us, we would have kicked you out if we didn't have a plan for you." she spoke in her normal harsh tone.
Y/N's eyes narrowed slightly as she starred at her mother, "Plan for me?" she asked wanting to know what the group of death eaters planned to do with her.
Mrs. Nettleby gave her daughter a wicked smile before she grabbed her daughter by the shoulder and pushed her out to where the group was waiting for her. "Our daughter wants to know what her main purpose is, I think it's time we elaborate."
Sean's expression changed as he noticed the harsh grip that his mother had on his sister. He knew that his family treated her different since she was sorted into Gryffindor, but he did not understand why. He went to speak up before Lucius Malfoy stepped in front of the group of Slytherin boys. "I think it's time for you to let the adults talk." He spoke monotoned to the group of boys.
"What are you going to do to my sister?" Sean asked the father of his friend. His glare was hard as he tried to figure out what the death eaters wanted with his sister.
Lucius gave him a dark look, "that is between us and her, Mr. Nettleby." He spoke before ushering the boys out of the room.
After the boys had left everyone gathered around the table, the grip Mrs. Nettleby had on her daughter tightened as discussion started around the group of his army. "Here is what you must do."
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“They wouldn’t hurt her, would they?” Sean asked nervously as he waited for the adults to break the spell on the door.
Draco scoffed, “they would.” He spoke monotonously.
Theodore had been ignored by Mattheo and Sean, but he was even look nervous now. He may have a grudge held against his best friend, but he would admit that Y/N didn’t deserve to be tortured by the groupies in the den.
Before anyone could speak up the doors opened and Mr. Nettleby threw his daughter out before closing the doors again. The girl’s shoulders were already turned slightly purple from the grip and fingernails of her mother. Her once neat hair was how messy and her makeup was smudged. A red mark shaped like a handprint laid across her right cheek.
Y/N didn’t dare say anything, all she did was take her heels off and raced to her room. Sean went to follow her but was held back by Draco who knew that Mattheo would want to follow the girl. After all, it was the boy’s father’s followers that did whatever damage to the girl.
Y/N rushed to her room and quickly got her duffle, whatever she had left at home was going back with her to Hogwarts. There was no one she could risk coming home again.
“Y/N,” Mattheo’s voice spoke softly from the doorway of the girl’s bedroom. “What’s going on?”
“I’m leaving.” She whispered hoping that they couldn’t curse him to get it out of him. She knew her parents would find her at hogwarts, which made her worried. “I can’t stay here, not with what they’re expecting me to do.”
Mattheo cautiously stepped into the bedroom that he was slightly familiar with. He didn’t want to startle the girl seeing as she was in a vulnerable state. “What did they do?” He asked carefully, he noticed the way her eyes squeezed shut and a tear fell down. “Let me help you.”
Y/N turned to him fully, so he got the full view of her. Her cheek now a slightly different color due to the impact of whoever slapped her across the face. “You can’t help me, Teo.” She whispered on the verge of breaking.
“Let me try,” he pleaded, hating seeing the girl the way that she was currently. “I’ll try to fix it.”
“I have to get out of here,” she told him. “I have to go into hiding or something.” She mumbled as her eyes finally fully met his.
Mattheo stepped forward again and carefully reached out and grabbed her hand in a comforting way. “Tell me what they want you to do.”
“They want me to spy on Harry,” she whispered. His hand gave hers a big squeeze. Knowing that she was best friends with him, sure he hated Harry. Most of it being because of his father and everything that happened. “They want me to spy on the the Weasley’s as well.” She added her heart breaking as she spoke.
“Maybe we can figure something out,” Mattheo tried to reason but they both knew better. Death Eaters showed no remorse for anyone, not even their own kids. At least, the Nettleby’s didn’t. “We can find a way for you to make them happy but keep your friends safe.”
Y/N shook her head as more tears fell down, “that’s not the worse part.” She muttered as his hand went to rest on her cheek.
“I’m sure we can get through it.” Mattheo reassured, his thumb wiping away the tears as they fell.
“They’re going to force me to become like them.” She told the guy that she cared deeply for in front of her. Mattheo paled, knowing exactly what she meant. It was exactly what his father and mother had been planning for him since the plan to get his father back. “They’re forcing me to join your fathers army.”
That sentence was enough for Mattheo to fear for the girl in front of him. It was enough to feel his own heart break. Because someone so sweet, caring, and willing to help others did not deserve to have that life that he was destined to live.
Little note: hi! It’s been longer than I hoped and I’m sorry many things got in the way but here’s an update. I hope you enjoyed and we’re getting to the juicy stuff. I did change the plot a bit since this went from a George Weasley x reader (rough draft) and I did a full switch to Mattheo Riddle x reader. I think I’m going to start adding a word count at the beginning of my chapters just so I can keep track of how many words I usually write per chapter. Next update should be out soon! I’ve started writing requests but I’ll catch up with blogmas first! 🥰
Tag list: @yoichiislovie @justhavingsomefun1 @lafrone @julesandro @prongprincessworld @bruher @mattiesgirl @itsamusical4lifee @frogtape @blueeweeb @harrysnovia @kiwi475 @wildlyobserving @devotedlycrookeddonut @oi-itse @dear-fifi @grandtheoristpeach @dory-98 @lovesanimals0000 @supernatural-lover @joekbff @ivy-34 @jasmine2105 @cmervns @jetblackpayne @b4b3tte @xmadigurlx @thecraziestcrayon @whoknowsbut
I think I added everyone! If i missed someone or I tagged the wrong account and you wanna be untagged just let me know. 🫶
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hanasnx · 5 months
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fell in love without you
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MINORS DNI 18+ NOTES: everyone’s nineteen. WARNINGS: f!reader | you have a favorite twin | sexual content with said fave twin | dubcon kiss
FRED WEASLEY stands before you alongside his brother George. A seemingly world famous smug air about them, having charmed themselves by their own wit. Arms crossed, towering tall above the random passersby as they absentmindedly drone to their next class. Your hesitation spurs the twins on, exchanging a knowing and triumphant glance that says all as you tilt your head at them.
“Are you serious?”
One twin feigns offense. “Deadly serious.”
The other mimics him. “Gravely.”
“S’only fair, innit?”
“Game of guess the twin, guess wrong and you’ve got to give a kiss.” he repeats the game rules.
“For hurtin’ our feelin’s.” the other agrees.
You narrow your eyes with a huff through your nose. “You haven’t got any feelings. Now let me pass.” you demand, and attempt to cut through them but they’re connected at the shoulders to block your way from your corridor.
“Now that’s what you win if you guess right!” they say together. Did they rehearse this? You frown at them as you recoil, throwing your arm out to your side until your book pats the outside of your thigh.
“What? You scared? We both know you’ve got a little thing for me.” One shrugs.
“And me.” the other adds.
“We’re only helping you along.” they speak at the same time, in annoying twin-synchrony.
You give in. “Do you really think I can’t tell you apart?” Lazily, you point to the boy on the left. “Fred.” It transfers over to the boy on the right. “George.” They exchange another look amongst themselves, and adopt a crestfallen expression as their heads bow, stepping apart so you can enter. “See?” you taunt, passing them by. “Was that so hard? I’ll see you boys later—“
“Not so fast there, birdie.” You halt in your tracks at the sound of him speak. “I’m George.” You sigh hard and hang your head.
“I’m Fred. C’mon then, give us a kiss.” They’d faked you out, or they’re lying. Either way, you concede in order to satiate their egos, drawing back to the place where they wait for you. It’s only a kiss on the cheek anyway, and besides it wouldn’t reveal your true feelings towards your favored twin. You’re just friends, and that’s how it should stay. “Tha’s a good girl. Look at her comin’ back, George. She wants this just as much as we do.”
“A foolproof plan there, Fred, well done.”
“It’s practically your only pick-up line, boys. You could do far better.” you tease, and drop your satchel to the ground where it flops flat hopelessly, and toss your book to land onto the leather. “C’mon then, lean down.” They’re both much taller than you, sort of imposing if they weren’t so approachable when they wanted to be. George goes first, stooping to offer his cheek to you. Sweetly, you hook your arm around his neck for stability when you raise yourself to your toes, planting a chaste peck onto his cheek. His skin warms your nose, and he recedes as you do. When you meet Fred’s gaze, he hasn’t taken his eyes off you, and you feel yourself heat up in anticipation. He does as George did, stooping but it’s a little gentler, dragging it out. There’s a mischievous curl to his lips and you sense he plots something. So you idle while you figure him out, until he interrupts you.
“Oi, wha’s wrong with you? Go on, pay up.” and you snap out of it, doing as you did with George. Your arm hooks loose around his neck, hand splayed on the cuff of his shoulder. While you raise yourself to meet his cheek, the tips of your toes bearing your weight, and things seem to move in slow motion. An arm straps around your waist, arching you into him as he turns at the last second, drawing you into a kiss. A real one. You emit a noise of surprise as he deepens it, seizing the opportunity to slip his tongue between your lips during your squeak. Out of shock, you take a fair bit of time to register, eyes flying open as you pat hard against his chest. You can’t push him off, but he pulls back after he’s made his point.
Hastily, you adjust your uniform with a gaping mouth. “Fred!” you scold while they snicker, you took notice of how George averted his eyes beforehand, so he’d known of Fred’s trick. Perhaps Fred put him up to it. Some innocent game that allows Fred an in to make a proper move on you. Or some sort of malicious advantage over your feelings. Out of embarrassment or fury, your hands pat hard on each of them, banging your fists against whatever is within reach as their laughs feather out when they flinch and try to catch your hands. When they escape, and you realize you’re desperately tardy, you have to let them go, calling out your vow of revenge after them.
“Where’s that vow of revenge now, ey?” breathless words spoken into your ear as Fred ruts into you. Hidden under the hot covers of your bed, he keeps you close with strong arms encasing you, pressing you to him as you lay on your sides. You claw the sheets for purchase, clutching onto the fabric to keep yourself grounded as he moves inside you. Careful, gentle, deliberate. Everyone’s sleeping. If anyone found out a boy snuck into your girls’ dormitory you’d be toast. His breath sends tingles up your spine, squeezing your eyes shut in the dark as you focus on where your bodies conjoin. Sticky and wet, Fred sheathes fully with a buck of his hips, and involuntarily you whimper. A large hand cups your mouth to silence you. “Keep quiet,” he whispers and you nod against him. “Didn’t take you for a bad girl, birdie, you’re a proper troublemaker.” he tells you, barely audible, his lips moving against your ear as his hips circle, welcomed by your sex, he can’t help but soak a second. “You wanna get caught, don’t you?”
You can’t answer, shaking your head against his hand and you feel his teeth nip at your earlobe. “Is that right?” he goads, unconvinced. He shifts, gradually picking up a steady pace. “Should we give ‘em a real show then?”
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callmeleobaby · 6 months
Text
Taunting.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!! 18+
TW: adopted-cest, CNC, Vaginal sex, oral (f) receiving, breeding, degrading, and tw definitely not canon Draco.
Draco Malfoy x Fem! Reader SMUT
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How could he possibly ignore her when she was practically begging to be looked at? Draco's thoughts plagued him, his family surrounded the table as they all listened to the Dark Lord spew his thoughts & rants though Draco never listened.
His eyes remained on the pretty Y/N, his little ‘sister’ Though she was adopted years ago, they still insisted that she was his sister. Draco didn't mind, he didn't mind at all that he got to watch the girl prance around their home in scald clothing. Almost teasing Draco, asking how much self-control did he have. He could barely focus then, now that she was dressed in that pretty little dress that showed off her perfect little waist, Merlin couldn't help him now.
Draco stare bored holes into Y/N’s head, she turned her eyes from Voldermort to her brother, who just smirked at her, giving her a small wink. Y/N smiled slightly at him, and Draco knew he needed to get that dress off of her. The thought of her staring at him with those pretty little eyes made him strain against his black pants, he quietly got up. Excusing himself, he looked at Y/N almost signaling her, and what a smart girl she was. She quickly stood and gracefully excused herself as well.
Draco quickly rushed upstairs, followed by Y/N. The two made it upstairs, the corridors were cold and dark. As Y/N was about to inquire about what was wrong, Draco pushed her up against the wall, breathing her in.
Y/N let out a meek noise, trapped between the wall and Draco’s body. He smelt like an expensive cologne, he looked down at her as she didn't dare make eye contact with him.
“What… are you doing?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Draco’s hand went to her hip, pressing himself onto her lower stomach.
Draco chuckled darkly, “Are you really shocked, darling?” His voice seemed more strained than normal, “Walking around in that, you're practically begging for it.” He raised his hand to her chin, forcing her to look at him. “I’m talking to you, Y/N, look at me when I do.” His voice was low, almost venomous.
“How rude.” Y/N softly muttered, her hands on his chest, slightly pushing him off. “You dare speak to me like that? You’re my brother for Merlin sake.”
Draco’s hand that lay on her thigh slowly went up, ignoring her complaints. His icy eyes filled with lust, his mouth slightly agape as he touched her panties.
“Merlin, Y/N, how could you be mad at me when you're dripping? Such a pervert.” Draco laughed, Y/N blushed trying to push him off.
Y/N used her strength to completely get him off. “I’ll scream for Father, get away from me!” She whispered-yelled, quickly walking back down the stairs before she took the second step down, Draco grabbed her wrist roughly.
He quickly pushed her down to the floor, holding her mouth, straddling her. “You’ll enjoy this, trust me.” Draco left his pale hand on her mouth, the other hand fumbling with his suit pants. Though, Y/N was a force to be reckoned with. Biting his hand roughly. Draco gasped, pulling his hand away quickly, Y/N didn't scream though, as he examined his hands. “Little bitch!” He slapped her, not hard but not exactly light. Y/N quickly teared up, her cheek a bit red.
“I hate you!” Y/N attempted to wiggle from under him. Draco rolled his eyes, his sly hand going under her dress. Ripping her underwear off, Y/N gasped at that and her face turned red with anger. “I swear to Merlin, I’ll scream!”
“Yet you haven't.” Pulling his throbbing cock out, “I was willing to go to my bedroom, make this a bit more comfortable for you.” Draco pumped himself a few times; looking down at her body. Y/N eyes widened at the view she had, clenching her thighs shut. “But, you don't deserve that, fuckin’ bitch.” With that, in one fluid motion, Draco thrusted deeply into her.
Y/N cried out, Draco quickly hushed her with a harsh slap. The warmth of her pussy made him melt and the tightness of it was basically milking him. Draco couldn't help but moan, grabbing her hair as his eyes closed. He couldn't help but give it another thrust, and another until the sound of slapping was filing the corridor.
Y/N didn't want to give in, didn't want to admit defeat but a hefty whine left her lips as he rubbed her clit. Draco felt proud of himself, “Slut, enjoying your brother's cock, yeah?”
Y/N didn't answer as she used her legs to push him deep inside of her, “Want me to fill you up, huh?” Draco leaned to her ear, rubbing her clit steadily as he harshly snapped his hips into her. Y/N nodded helplessly, unable to deny her needs any longer. “Say it.” He softly bit her ear lobe.
Her moans came before her voice as she groaned, “Dr… Please!” It came out louder than she intended, “Please.” She could finally get out.
“Mmm…” Draco felt his stomach tighten, “I’ll take that, only because you're being so good to me. Not screaming or anything.” He praised, quickly kissing her lips. Y/N bit his bottom lip, hard, though Draco loved it.
Blood was Y/N could taste as she sucked his bottom lip, almost soothing her. Draco moaned and pulled away, grabbing her neck as his hips stuttered. He couldn't help it, her cunt begged for it.
“Let me get you pregnant, God, let me cum inside that pretty pussy, yeah?” Draco begged; his thoughts only of her swollen and filled, carrying his heir. Y/N only let out a whimper in response.
Draco bucked his hips inside of her, leaning down to kiss her, sweat dripping from his hair as he came deep inside of her. His muscles locked up, and his entire body shook in response. Moaning and groans came from the blonde boy. Y/N gave one final whimper, as he pulled out.
He breathed heavily, his eyes like a predator looking at prey. He smirked down at her as his chest went up & down rapidly. His muscular hands landed on her bare thighs, leaning down toward her cunt.
“Don’t think I was gonna make you cum, huh? Think I'm that bad in bed; you’d love that, wouldn't you?” He taunted, then licked her cunt from bottom to top, a long and taunting lick.
“F-uck you!” She breathed out as he sucked her clit, abusing the bundle of nerves.
Draco lightly grazed his teeth, her hands went to his blonde hair and pulled it slightly; he groaned. He saw his cum dripping out of her, he brought his hand towards her mouth. Y/N didn't need directions as she sucked his fingers. Draco took his fingers and trusted them into her, pushing all his cum back inside of her. His tongue quickly went back to her clit, Kitty licking.
It didn't take long for Y/N's eyes to roll into the back of her skull. Letting out a pornstar moan, her pussy clenching around Draco’s fingers. He continued to lick and thrust his fingers inside her until her orgasm was over.
Draco sucked his fingers, the salty and sweet taste of her & his cum filled his mouth, bringing a smile to his face. He sat next to her, putting his cock back inside his pants, his hair soaked and mouth puffy and wet. Y/N looked over at him, with cloudy eyes.
“You were asking for it.” He muttered, smirking. Y/N curled up to him, he rubbed her hair. “I’m sorry for hitting you, baby.” His voice was loving, as he stroked her tear-stained cheek.
“…It’s okay.” Her voice croaked, as she looked up at him. Draco gave a real smile, his canines showing.
“Good Girl.”
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This is my first smut I've written on here, it's not GREAT. Hopefully, you enjoyed it, if I made any mistakes or anything, let me know! Thank you.
- it’s Leo!
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rainydayathogwarts · 7 months
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neville longbottom smut
reader makes Neville cum in his pants at a party. warnings: dry humping, whimpering, public sex(?), swearing wc: around 0.9k
Your body sways to the music, the plastic cup in your hand spilling some of your drink onto your hand, but it only blends in with the shimmering glint of sweat on your skin. You're dancing with some girl you don't recognise, singing the words to a song at the top of your lungs. You look around, trying to spot your boyfriend in the crowd, to make sure he's not doing anything he shouldn't be, only to notice him sitting on an armchair next to the fireplace, his eyes already on you.
He meets your gaze and your body suddenly goes hot, despite the warmth from the alcohol that had already settled in. He was keeping an eye on you, butterbeer in hand, not focused on anything else. You grin, pushing your way through the dance floor until you finally stumble away from the crowd of sweaty bodies and into the more dispersed area of the busy common room. You giggle when you approach Neville, watching as his eyes run along you figure. You down the rest of your drink, putting the now empty cut next to what you assumed was the empty bottle butter beer Neville had already had. "You okay sweetheart?" He asks and you nod, shifting to stand between his legs.
He sits up straight to put his hands on the back of your thighs, pulling you slightly closer to him; the most affection he'd giving you tonight. He offers you a sip of butterbeer but you decline, watching as he brings his lips to the bottle, his adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallows, before putting the bottle aside. You bring a hand up to play with his hair as your hips start moving again, the other arm on his shoulder. You look down at the boy below you and sigh in pleasure as his hands start moving up and down your thighs.
His head leans on your lower stomach, his attention caught by the dancing bodies. You furrow your eyebrows, glancing over at the dance floor to look at all the girls in their tight dresses. You huff. The hand you have in his hair closes moderately into a fist and you tug it backwards slightly, making Neville look up at you, only to be met by your lips slamming down onto his. He moans loudly, his hands on your thighs moving so his arms can wrap around you.
His mouth immediately opens to welcome your tongue in and you put your weight onto him, pushing him back into the armchair as you climb onto him, your legs coming on either side of his thighs as you straddle him. Neville whimpers, the sound drowned by the music, his arms tightly wrapping themselves around your waist to pull you impossibly closer. And he does, dragging you across his lap so your panty-clad cunt grinds against his fully clothed dick.
You both moan into each other, and you feel your boyfriend's usually gentle hands travel down to your ass, roughly gripping it. You grind against Neville once more to see how comfortable he is with this, and he separates from the kiss to gasp for air, his mouth open in a silent moan. Your eyes scan the room, checking to see if you had attracted anyone's unwanted eyes, but your attention is brought back to Neville, who tugs your dress further down your thighs, having ridden up when you straddled him.
When you make eye contact with him again, his eyes are begging you to continue your movements and so is the tent in his pants. You push your hips down onto his and moan quietly, biting your lip. Neville's eyes widen and he looks around for a second before turning his attention back to you, a hand coming behind your neck to pull you into a kiss, the other one pushing your hips into his.
He gently humps his hips up into yours to encourage your movements, grunting as though he has never had your legs spread for him, and you dig your face into the crook of his neck, letting out a breathy moan. Your hot breath on his neck sends shivers down Neville's spine and he pants, leaning his head on your shoulder and looking down through the top of your dress. He whines, eyes widening at the sight of your tits, his hands immediately coming up to grope them. You let out a high pitched moan when he squeezes one of your perky nipple, hips bucking into his desperately, so that your pussy grinds right against the tent in his jeans, feeling the imprint of his cock against you.
Neville bites your shoulder to cover the loud whimpers that come out of him, hands gripping your thighs as he roughly bucks his hips into yours. That's when you feel the wetness on his jeans, this time not coming from you, and you grin proudly, pulling Neville into a kiss. He returns the kiss, still panting, his hands now softly caressing your sides. When you both separate from the kiss and Neville finally catches his breath, he says "How about we go upstairs and I can finish you off?"
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morwap · 1 year
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𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐒
➸ ex!theo nott x fem!reader
➸ smut | muggle! au | college! au
➸ nav | tn.mlist | A/N: i know some of you love love love theo and when i write for him y’all eat it up every time so i thought i’d give y’all a surprise fic with theo since i know i’ve been lacking theo content and i’ve been much more into marauders and other fandoms, i still get so many and still have so many requests in my inbox for him so i knew y’all were trying to be fed with theo content! so surprise and i hope you enjoy <;3
➸ toxic on and off relationship, p in v, face sitting, dom theo sub reader, make up sex, hair pulling, love bombs, riding, finger sucking, hand behind back, tity sucking, little bitting, creampie, praise, “good girl
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this happened over and over, you and theo fight then break up for a week then get back together. this time it lasted two weeks, the longest its ever been, maybe it was really over this time. you knew he was stubborn and took some days to himself before texting you or finding you somewhere but he didn’t take this long.
you waited for him to text and of course you could’ve texted first but you were overthinking it, why text if it was really over? you didn’t know how to feel, you felt like every other time with the voice in the back of your head saying “you'll be back together by tomorrow” but now you had a feeling in your gut that said something different.
you saw his dormmates on your way to your classes and they greeted you like normal which confused you even more. luna and cho told you that maybe this was for the better, you wouldn’t be under the stress of the fighting every week and focus on your school work and your job more than you already do.
it was the start of a new semester and luckily exams went by without causing too much stress. You wondered if the fighting recently on his end was because of the exams but he ended up passing with no struggle but you tried to understand.
Now it was the weekend, finally time off, you walked to your dorm and greeted people that wandered the hallways. luna had gone home for the weekend to see her dad so you had the dorm all to yourself.
you unlocked the door and pushed it open, kicking off your shoes and hanging your bag and coat on the coat rack on the door. you turned and was met with theo sitting on your bed, your string lights were still on since you didn’t turn them off when you left for your last class.
“hi” you mumbled, nervous that this was him saying goodbye. “How'd you get in here?” you asked.
“Luna let me in before she left, I needed to talk to you,” he said. You could see the flowers he bought on your nightstand. they were always done up pretty with brown paper and lace and ribbons tying them together. you nodded and walked closer to him.
theo took your hand in his, his thumb rubbing your skin softly.
“i'm sorry i didn't get ahold of you, i was just trying to figure out this whole thing because i really want this to work and i don’t know what's been going with us lately but i know it’s not healthy, padma gave me some advice and i really think it could help us” theo said. you nodded and sat next to him, still hand in hand.
theo continued to explain what Padma said and how it sounded like a good idea, he didn’t want to lose you and you didn’t want to lose him. you listened and gave your input every now and then and he listened to you, there was no fighting or snarky comments.
“thank you” you said when he was finished, you leaned closer to him and hugged him, his arms went around your waist and his face moved to your neck.
“i love you” he mumbled and you said it back.
you leaned back before leaning in and kissing him, there was tension already, you two had very high sex drives and had sex frequently and being apart and now together it just felt natural.
theo’s hands gripped you harshed and guided you closer. this was natural for you two, sex normally came after the understanding and apologies, the intimacy was the best part, a connection you hadn’t felt with anyone else.
you were in his lap, his hands unbuttoning your cardigan and moving it off you. you let it fall off your arms and onto the floor. you broke the kiss and moved off him and the bed, theo quickly took off his shirt and threw it to the floor then started working on his jeans while you stripped off your sweatpants. you kept your spaghetti strap shirt and underwear on.
theo kissed you again once he was just in his boxers, guiding you back onto him. He laid back and grabbed your hips. “cmon sit on my face” he said, breaking the kiss. you laughed softly and started to move up, you hovered over his face, one of his hands held your thigh and the other moved your panties to the side.
his tongue met your cunt, going over your clit, his hands now holding your hips to keep you where he wanted.
you closed your eyes and hummed, he was slow and easy at first then started to get a bit rough as he went, sucking on your clit then moving his tongue to your entrance and fucking you with it.
your hands gripped the headboard, one of his hands left your hip and took one of your hands that were gripping the board, intertwining yours and his fingers. He repeatedly licked your clit, making you moan and jolt with pleasure. you started to move your hips a bit, you were getting close which was fast but you hadn’t came in two weeks so who could blame you.
theo encouraged you with mumbles of “cum for me” and “cmon baby”
theo moaned against your cunt, his eyes were close as he pleased you, his other hands fingers dug into the skin on your thigh. his cock rubbed against his underwear, the stimulation making him leak precum.
one of your hands moved to his hair, bringing his face even closer as you frantically repeated that you were close, you tugged at his hair and it made him groan against you. you were so wet, his chin was covered with his spit and your arousal.
you felt it coming and you tightened your shut eyes, your breathing was picking up and the feel crashed down on you. you gripped his hair tighter.
once you were getting overstimulated he slowed his licks, you lifted up, pulling your cunt away from him, both of you panting.
theo kissed your thighs, he moved his hand to your cunt and pushed his middle finger in, earning a whine from you. theo’s ring finger joined.
“just wanna make sure you’re ready love” he said, a little smugness in his voice. after a minute he pulled his fingers from you.
you started to make your way back down to where you could straddle his waist. theo pushed his upper body up and kissed you, you could taste yourself on him. He broke the kiss and put his fingers in your mouth.
“you made the mess, now you clean it” he ordered, you sucked on his finger as he watched you with a smirk. theo pulled them from you when he thought they were clean enough.
“please, please fuck me, i want you so bad” you begged, you kissed his neck moved your hips a bit on his lap.
“how could i not give you what you want when you ask like that” theo said, his fingers taking your panties off, then you lifted up to get them fully off. your hands went to his boxers, pulling them down and letting his cock be free, no more friction from his boxers. you lifted up to move them then let them fall to the ground.
you moved over his cock, letting theo hold himself as you started to sink down onto it. he let out a relieved sigh once he was all the way in you.
you started to move, going up and down and sometimes grinding to get friction on your sensitive clit.
“holy fuck, you feel so fucking good,” theo grunted. his eyes closing for a moment and taking in the feeling.
“i missed you, miss you so much” you mumbled, moving your head to his neck, kissing his skin then sucking hickeys on him.
“i missed you too baby, it won’t happen again” he said promisingly.
theo took your hands and put them behind your back, one hand held yours there. you leaned away from his neck, his hand pushed the top of your shirt down and let your tits fall out of your shirt.
he moved his head down a bit, kissing your tit and biting softly, he moved to your nipple, sucking on and kissing the bud.
you moaned and your mouth made an ‘o’ shape, he groaned against you as your cunt tightened around him.
you whined when he bit you softly making him laugh. he left your tits alone now and leaned up and kissed you. theo was getting close now.
“i love you” he said, moving his kissed to your jaw then down your neck til he was resting his head a little on your shoulder and your face was nuzzled against his neck. his hand moved to your hip, making you go faster and harder. you clenched around him more.
“i love you too” you moaned. theo moaned and his abdomen flexed as he got closer and closer.
“im gonna cum-“ he started.
“- in me, please cum in me” you begged, you moved your fingers to hold on to his pinky finger.
“anything for you” he quipped, after a few thrusts he was cumming inside you, his cock twitched as your cunt squeezed him over and over. he shuddered against you, still moving you on his cock, he was getting overstimulated already but he wanted you to cum on his cock.
theo’s hand moved from your hip to your clit and started rubbing in circles, you breathed heavily as you were getting close. it felt so good having him take care of you again.
“m’gonna cum” you whimpered, theo’s cum was dripping from you and running down his cock to his balls.
“good girl, cum on my cock, you deserve it. you’ve so good, princess” theo whispered encouragingly.
he pressed a kiss against your head as you clenched around him tighter. he inhaled sharply, he was sensitive.
you let out soft noises as you came, cunt spasming around him and shivering against your boyfriend.
you both stayed there, theo let go of your hands and rubbed them to soothe any soreness. the mixture of your arousal, cum and his cum still dripped from you. you both rested against each other.
clean up was essential and couldn’t wait till the next morning or be fixed by a simple cloth or tissue. you showered together, the pillow talk followed from in there till you laid on clean sheets and cuddled. you had cleaned up the mess of clothes while he did the bed, your pajamas were thin since he would be in your bed keeping you warm.
you both fell asleep fast, faster than how you did when he was not with you.
luna came back to the dorm that morning, she knew she’d see theo, and at this point she thought about making a bingo card about you two, and she was right, there he was basically on top of you. you faced the wall with one hand pressed to your chest while theos arm was over you and his chest was half way pressed to your back, luna had no idea how you could sleep like that with him basically smothering you.
she sighed, it was cute in a way but even though she wasn’t the biggest fan of your relationship she knew she had to do something about your breakup with him and asked padma to talk to theo since she was going there to be a therapist and specifically a couples therapist. now she knew it worked but not like she had any doubt in the plan in the first place.
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hollowdeath · 3 months
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boyfriend!harry potter
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theonotti · 4 months
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SILENT NIGHT | OS | t.n.
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Pairing: Theodore Nott x fem!reader!Riddle
Word Count: 4.5k
Summary: The ghost of Christmas Eve Past haunts Theo's present, but not because he needs to change. He needs a reminder of who to never become.
Warnings: Major Character Death (Not Theo or reader), Domestic Violence (Not with Theo or reader), Hurt/Comfort, angsty, fluffy,
Notes: I'm late, but heres a Christmas one shot for Theo :)
That Final Night | Mio
Christmas Eve: Then
“Teddy? To bed, my love.” 
Theo smiled from his hiding spot behind the curtains. In his eight year old mind, there’s no way she could see him. He was invisible. Behind the silky fabric, he ceased to exist. Beyond the darkness between the window and the curtain, Theo could hear the sounds of his mother’s heels tapping against the hardwood. She was close. He could see the outline of her silhouette from the other side of the thin curtain. 
“Father Christmas won’t leave any presents if he knows a certain boy is still awake and hiding!” Her honey soaked voice echoed out again. Before Theo even had the chance to process her words, the curtain was ripped away and he was in his mother’s arms. She spun herself around, making Theo fell as if he was flying through the air. His shrieks of laughter bounced off the thinly decorated walls before she slowed to a halt, smiling lovingly at the wavy haired boy.
“Come, love,” She whispered to him. “I have your tea ready.”
Setting him back down to his feet, Cassundra Nott smiled down at her son before leading him out of the sitting room and down the corridor to his bedroom. 
Theo didn’t like walking the halls of the mansion, despite his many years of living there. The energy in the air was always so grim, the walls bare and painted a dark grey colour. Theo was convinced that there were demons in the walls, due to the screams he could hear coming from them some nights. His mother assured him time and time again that they were only in his nightmares, but Theo was wise for his mere eight years. The nights he heard the screams being the same nights he would see his father go into the basement of the house as the young lad was ushered quickly to bed was not lost on Theo.
In fact, it only made him wonder if his father was summoning the demons, keeping them there as a way to ensure Theo stayed in line. 
There was only one person who brought any slither of warmth under the cold roof of Nott Manor, and it was the woman walking a few paces ahead of him. Her golden blonde curls trailed down her back, her delicate fingers tracing an invisible line into the wall as she led Theo to his bedroom. He looked at her with such incredible awe. Theo didn’t worship any sort of God, because no God could even come close to comparing to the wonder that was Cassundra Nott. If someone told him that she hung the stars and the moon every night, and that the sun only rose because she asked it to, he would’ve easily believed them. There were few people that Theo had in the world. His father’s care for him only extended as far as keeping the Nott legacy going. So that left Theo with three people: Mattheo, Draco, and his mother. But she topped the list. In every circumstance, she topped the list.
His mother opened the door to his bedroom, ushering him inside. The dark green of the walls made the room seem much darker than Theo would like. His father insisted on the colour scheme matching that of Slytherin house, as if it would somehow eliminate the already incredibly low chances of him ending up in another house come time for him to ship off to Hogwarts. His slot in the House of the Cunning and Ambitious was as guaranteed as the snow falling in the winter, or his father downing half a bottle of whiskey before dinner. Theo wished the walls were blue, though he learned the hard way to not let that thought be anything more than a thought.
A steaming mug of tea was sitting on the bedside table, waiting for him as his mother pulled the blankets out for him. Her smile was warm as he walked over to the bed, crawling under the covers and taking the warm mug between his hands. He knew it had Calming Draught in it, as he received this same dose in his tea every Christmas Eve, as well as the evening before his birthday. 
Cassundra sat on the edge of the bed as she watched Theo take a long sip from the mug. 
“Are you ready for Christmas, love?” She asked gently, raking her fingers through Theo’s hair. As he swallowed the tea, he nodded vigorously. 
“I hope Father Christmas got me the broom I asked for!” He exclaimed. “Mattheo let me try his new broom and it was so fast! I bet I could get to Scotland in under five minutes.”
His mother laughed softly before saying, “Under five minutes? That sounds rather fast.” 
Theo nodded enthusiastically.
“I could get to Hogwarts faster than the train! I won’t even need to take it! And then I could come visit you every single evening, so you can give me a kiss and a cuddle goodnight.” 
If Theo weren’t so young and oblivious, he would’ve noticed the flush that filled his mother’s cheeks, or the tender smile that pulled at the corners of her lips. Or even the sadness that filled her eyes over the idea of him leaving her. 
“Well, we have a few years yet before we have to worry about that,” She said delicately. “Maybe if you don’t get a broom this year, you’ll get one the Christmas before Hogwarts?” But all this response does is make Theo groan in displeasure.
“I don’t want to wait two years! I want a broom now!”
His mother smiled at his impatience, hooking her finger underneath his chin and forcing him to look up at her.
“I know you’re excited, lovely boy,” She said in a soft voice. “But I promise you, you’re going to have a good day tomorrow. I’ve made sure to let Father Christmas know how wonderful you’ve been this year.” She scrunched up her nose as she kissed the tip of his. “He doesn’t need to know of the times you were trouble.” She tilted her head as she looked down at him. “Surely he won’t disappoint.” 
Theo looked up at his mother. Of course she was right. She was right about everything. And he trusted her more than anyone else to make sure Father Christmas knew what he wanted more than anything for Christmas. 
Theo finished the last of his tea, making sure he got every last drop like he always did. When he set the mug down, he smiled up at the beautiful face of his mother, who was already smiling down at him. The potion’s effects were already starting to take hold, the running wheel of his mind slowing to a halt as his eyelids grew droopy. With one hand on the back of his head and the other on his shoulder, Cassundra laid Theo down against his pillow.
“Now,” She said, her voice more stern than normal. “What are we not going to do this year?”
Theo let out a tired sigh.
“I won’t sneak down before morning to see what gifts are left for me.”
His mother nodded once, definitively.
“We don’t need another episode with your father.” In his obliviousness from ignorance and the Calming Drought effects, Theo didn’t notice the disdain in her voice, or the fear that flooded her face. Though he did remember the events of the year prior, the screaming from his father at all hours of the morning, followed by Theo being banished to his room until midday. 
“I won’t sneak down again, mamma,” He said in a small voice, a yawn escaping him as his eyes began to droop shut. 
Cassundra tucked the blankets in before leaning down and pressing a kiss to Theo’s forehead. 
“Sleep well, il mio tesoro,” She said in a quiet whisper as the chestnut haired boy had already lost himself to his subconscious. With one last loving look, and a delicate trace down his cheek to ensure he was really sleeping, Cassundra Nott stood up from the bed and left the room, closing the door tightly behind her. 
Little did she know that this would be the last time she saw her son like this.
It was only a few hours later that Theo was awoken by none other than his bladder. He squinted his eyes in the dark as he jumped out of bed, all but running from the room as quickly as his still asleep legs could take him. It wasn’t until he was in the bathroom that he started to wake up. The clock in the hallway chimed three in the morning, meaning his mother was long asleep. His father had gone out to celebrate the holidays with a few other Death Eaters, and he made sure to tell Cassundra and Theo that it was unlikely he would be home before dinner the next day. 
Just one peak.
And then you’ll be back in bed.
No one will ever know.
The logic made sense to him, and before he knew it, his feet were carrying him out of the bathroom and down the hall. Walking right passed his bedroom, he went right to the stairs and slowly tiptoed down.
It wasn’t until he was halfway down the stairs that the voices registered.
“...wake Theodore, please keep your voice down.”
“How dare you police me in my own home!?”
The slur in his father’s voice was so prominent that he almost didn’t recognize him, though the yelling was a sound the young lad was deeply accustomed to. Theo sank down so he was sitting down on the edge of the step, his hands gripping the wooden poles of the bannister as he watched his mother cower. Standing behind the man of the house was a flash of long, platinum white hair with a cane that was used in this moment to stop him from swaying. Next to Lucius Malfoy was Fenrir Greyback, his arms bare despite the raging cold outside, and Antonin Dolohov, who had a flask to his mouth as he watched Nott Sr. in amusement. All of the men in the living room were inebriated beyond belief. 
Cassundra swallowed hard before she spoke again. The fear was so clear cut on her face that Theo wanted to rush to her and cup her cheeks, telling her all would be okay.
“I’m not policing you…” She said in a small voice. “I just think it’s Christmas Eve, and I’m setting up for Theodore, and-”
Her words were lost to the force of Nott Sr.’s hand wrapping around her throat and slamming her against the wall. Her head was unable to bounce forward, but it was evident by the deep grimace on her face how hard it was hit. The reverberation of his mother’s body denting the drywall caused Theo to fall backwards, almost falling down the stairs entirely. 
“Are you arguing with me?” Nott Sr.’s voice was so low that Theo almost couldn’t hear it. But he’d learn how to pick out that voice at a very young age. It was how he knew when to go sit quietly in his room with a book, remaining unseen and unheard. 
“No!” Cassundra was able to gasp out, her hands trying and failing to pry her husband’s calloused fingers from her throat. 
“That sounded like arguing to me, Nott,” Lucius piped in. “Can't let anyone think your wife wears the trousers in the household, can you?”
Theo was not a violent child, but the sound of his best friend’s father egging on the abuse of his mother was filling the eight year old’s chest with a level of anger he had never felt before. He wanted to scream. He wanted to punch. He wanted to hit and hit and hit Lucius until his big, ugly nose went flat. But the fear that his mother taught him to have of his father and the other Death Eaters pulled at his muscles, keeping him frozen on the stairs as he watched the scene unfold. 
Before Theo had a moment to breathe, a wand appeared in Nott Sr.’s free hand, the tip pressed into his wife’s jugular. Theo could feel the air being ripped out of his lungs as he watched the colour leave Cassundra’s cheeks. Her face was illuminated by the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree beside her. Theo’s face was pressed against the wood, so much so that his head was almost fully squeezing between the poles.
“You ungrateful bitch,” Nott Sr. sneered angrily. “Disrespecting me in front of my colleagues.”
“Are you planning to let that slide, Nott?” Fenrir chimed in with a laugh before taking a long swig from a bottle of firewhiskey. 
“Maybe I should have your voice?”
His wand didn’t even move, but a spark of light still shot out of the end, and suddenly, Cassundra’s mouth opened and closed, but no words, not even a stammer or faint whisper, came out. Hot tears spilled down Theo’s cheeks and onto his pyjama bottoms, but he didn’t notice as he watched in horror while his mother tried to speak but only air left her mouth. 
Please stop.
Please don’t.
I couldn’t handle never hearing her speak again.
Or hearing her sing to me.
Or hearing her say my name.
Theo’s hands gripped the poles so tightly that his knuckles turned a blazing shade of white. 
Nott Sr. threw his wife to the ground as Lucius, Fenrir and Antonin laughed in amusement, as if Nott Sr. had told a joke or done something funny. But none of this was funny. Not to Theo, who wanted to run over and protect his mother. Who wanted nothing more than to bring the same sort of pain to his father and friends that they were bringing to the most important person in his life. 
“A woman must remember her place,” Nott Sr. continued on, pacing slow circles around his wife while his fellow Death Eater’s watched in belligerent amusement. The slur in his voice would’ve added a sort of facetiousness to his words, but with the way he looked down at the blonde figure he had just thrown to the floor, it only made it more menacing.
“And how will you remind her?” Lucius asked, causing Theo’s father to turn and look at the blonde haired man with a smirk.
“I have a few ideas in mind.”
Cassundra attempted to scream with every fibre of her being, veins popping out of her neck and forehead while her skin turned a dark red, but no sound came out at all. Theo felt her pain as if he, too, had his voice taken from him, as if he had been slammed against the wall, as if he had been thrown to the floor. 
Nott Sr. turned back to his wife, the smirk fading quickly from his face and replaced with disdain. He raised his wand above his head.
Theo blacked out. 
The eight year old’s legged carried him at a speed he didn’t know he could move at, until he was throwing his arms around his mother, guarding her.
“Father, please,” He sobbed into her soft blonde curls as he addressed the presence towering over them. Cassundra wrapped her arms around Theo, noiselessly comforting him as her fingers raked through his hair, her eyes squeezed shut. The room went deadly silent for a brief moment.
“You will learn to speak when you’re bloody spoken to, boy,” Nott Sr. sneered, his voice low and filled with even more anger than before as he grabbed Theo by the back of his shirt and ripped him out of his mother’s arms, tossing him across the room so hard, he slid across the hardwood floor and into the wall. A shadow leered over him as Nott Sr. rounded on Theo, his wand at the ready.
“If you’re so desperate to be a man, then you can handle her punishment then, can’t you?”
The next few moments went by so quickly, yet also as if they were in slow motion.
Nott Sr. raised his hand above his head, the tip of his wand igniting into a bright red colour. 
A flash of blonde jumped onto his back, tackling the older man to the ground. 
Lucius and Antonin grab Cassundra off Nott Sr. and toss her to the floor once more.
And then, the flash of green.
He didn’t hear his father speak. Hell, he didn’t even see his father get up from the floor. But make no mistake, Theo didn’t miss the older man, with the wild chestnut hair that he did inherit and the menacing look that he did not, pointing his wand at his mother, sending the bright green spell directly into her chest. 
She was gone before the scream left Theo’s mouth. 
“No, no, no, no, no, no…”
Theo crawled across the floor, moving his mother’s head from the floor to his lap as he placed his hands on either cheek.
“Mum, please,” He begged, staring into her lifeless eyes as they remained open. “Mamma, wake up. PLEASE WAKE UP!”
“For Merlin’s sake…” His father mumbled before flicking his wand once more. Theo’s voice evaporated off his tongue, but his lips still moved as he soundlessly begged his mother to come back to him. His tears fell onto the bare skin of her shoulder, and he wondered if they would be enough to warm her back to life. When she didn’t stir, Theo broke down entirely, holding her head close to his chest and burying his face in her golden curls as he began to rock back and forth. 
“One of the house elves will clean it up,” Nott Sr. said to his friends, as if speaking about a
spilled dinner plate and not the dead body of his wife. “Come, gentlemen. The parlour is where my
reserve is, and I need another glass after that… unfortunate incident.”
And so Nott Sr. left the room, followed by Malfoy, Dolohov and Greyback, leaving his grieving son on the floor, where he stayed for hours until the house elves finally pried the body of Cassundra Nott out of his hands.
The hands that would never get to hug or touch his mother ever again. 
~
Christmas Eve: Now
The sound of a crash echoes throughout the kitchen, followed quickly with a loud groan. 
“Sorry, sorry…”
“I swear to Merlin, Malfoy, if you wake up my wife, I’ll throttle you.”
A slew of drunken laughter fills the kitchen as the three men clamber in through the back door. Draco respectfully picks up the trash can he knocked over under the watchful eye of Theo. Once it’s back in its proper position, Draco gestures towards it proudly, as if he had just done something profound.
“Happy, Nott?”
Theo bobs his head back and forth, pretending to mull this over.
“I’d be happier if you weren’t an idiot.”
Mattheo, who had just taken a large pull from the bottle of firewhiskey in his hand, spits it out all over the refrigerator.
“That’s like asking for snow in the middle of July.”
With a deep scowl on his face, Draco shoves Mattheo into the counter before sneering, “Fuck off, Riddle.” 
Mattheo, in his truest form, makes kissy faces at Malfoy, who then proceeds to throw a kitchen roll at his head. Before it can hit the floor, Theo catches it in midair. The other two look at him as if he had just juggled seven kitchen rolls, or caught Baby Jesus himself. 
“Alright, alright, let’s move to the parlour before the two of you destroy my kitchen.”
The walk from the kitchen to the parlour is one the three of them have taken on drunken nights like these hundreds of times, yet at this moment, the distance seems to have grown exponentially longer. Mattheo stumbles as he walks, a loud laugh escaping him as he anchors himself with the wall. Theo, in an effort to keep his friend quiet, smacks him upside the head. 
“What was that for?” The dark curly haired man shouts, not without an undercurrent of laughter in his tone. 
“For being a git,” Theo hisses. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.”
It’s too late though.
Over the sound of Draco’s giggles, Theo can make out the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs.
“Theo?”
His heart stops at the sight of you on the landing, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as they jump between him and his friends. He smiles sheepishly at you. 
“Did we wake you, cara mia?”
You shake your head as you reach the bottom of the steps. He sucks in a large gulp of oxygen as he takes in the sight of you. Even in your pyjamas, he finds the sight of you simply breathtaking. The sleep stains on your face and the way your eyes droop makes his heart race as if he was just seeing you for the first time. With a slight sway in his step, his feet carry him towards your magnetic pull, his hands gently gripping your waist. 
“You can tell me if we woke you,” He says in a gentle voice, an undercurrent of guilt filling his tone. But you shake your head again as you bring your hands to the tops of his shoulders, running your fingers along the curves of his muscles to the dip of his neck. 
“I woke up a couple of minutes before I heard you come inside, I promise.”
He doesn’t believe you, but his blood shot eyes are so enraptured by the beauty that is your face that he doesn’t care. His hands move up to cradle your cheeks before he brings his face to yours, peppering your skin with kisses. Your forehead, your cheeks, your nose, your temples, your eyelids. Every piece of you that he can reach gets a kiss. His fingertips tease weave into your hair as you place your hands on his clavicle, laughing as he kisses you.
From behind him, Mattheo and Draco both make fake retching noises. 
“I’ve never met a more disgusting couple,” Malfoy whines.
“Truly the worst to be around,” Riddle adds in agreement.
“Oh, piss off to the parlour, you two,” Theo barks as he pulls his mouth away from your face. He doesn’t turn to make sure they leave, trusting the sound of their fading footsteps down the hall. His thumbs stroke the skin of your cheeks delicately.
“Happy Christmas, my love,” He says before gently kissing your mouth. You hum contently as the kiss lasts a few more seconds. 
“Happy Christmas, Theo.”
The sight of you smiling up at him makes his stomach flip. He finds himself wondering how he got so lucky, finding you? From the moment you walked into his life that fateful day at Hogwarts, his life turned into a sort of dream that he didn’t want to wake up from. And it was made even better when you had married him. 
Even after all this time, he can’t get enough of you.
“Get some sleep,” He says gently, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll keep the boys quiet.”
“Please,” You say, your voice still husky from just having woken up. “And please tell Mattheo that if he throws up on the carpet again, it’ll be him cleaning it up, not the house elves.”
Theo lets out a hearty, full laugh. It’s something his life is filled with a lot of these days. With his friends and you by his side, sometimes it’s easy for him to forget that it wasn’t always like this. 
“I love you with my entire heart,” He slurs, gently kissing you again. “Please never forget that.”
You laugh softly again, the sound making Theo feel lightheaded. Or is it the alcohol? No, it’s definitely the sound of your laugh. 
“I love you too, Drunky,” You tease him. “Please make sure you come to bed. Don’t fall asleep in the parlour.” He nods, his eyes twinkling in amusement.
“Yes, cara mia.”
You give him one last kiss to the cheek before you turn and make your way back upstairs. Theo’s eyes watch you the entire way, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as you disappear into the hallway. It isn’t until he hears the creaky bedroom door close that he finally turns and starts walking towards the parlour to join his mates. 
As he walks down the hall, one of the pictures out of the corner of his eye stops him. Slowly, he turns, the amusement leaving his face as his eyes fall on that one painting.
His mother smiles down at him as she sits in a rocking chair. Behind her is a dark space where his father had been, up until a night of grief and alcohol caused Theo to direct a spell towards the fake personification, and subsequently led to the destruction of all paintings of his father in the house. Though he had the frame replaced, the damage remains.
His eyes trace the trail of golden curls that flow down her shoulders and upper torso. He can still remember how soft the strands felt when she’d kiss him goodnight and they’d brush along his cheek.
“Please tell me I’m not like him,” He begs her, his voice suddenly small. “Please tell me I’ve made you proud.”
She smiles tenderly down at him, his heart feeling ready to burst.
“Oh, il mio tesoro,” She says softly as his eyes flutter shut. “You're ten times the man he’d ever be. And I couldn’t be more proud of you if I tried.” 
Theo smiles widely, tears escaping through his shut eyelids.
Bliss.
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ziglikesrain · 1 year
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at the end of the day i feel bad for harry potter fans. they’re so limited to one ERA and characters that have already had seven books written about them.
where’s the fun in that?! too much canon, too many straight people, where’s the fun?!
they’ll never know true happiness until they go to the dark side. we have all the fun over here
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veryberryjelly · 8 months
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I need some Theodore nott or Mattheo riddle x Gryffindor fem! Reader fluff and maybe soft smut and she’s reading in his lap while he’s leaning against the bedpost reading with her holding the book and Turing the pages while she keeps reading it and it’s super smutty and she just traces his arm veins while they read (and if you decide to make it smutty pls make the reader LOVE LOVE LOVE his hands, abs, arm viens-) can it be a longer fic?
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𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
it was your favourite part of the day.
after whatever went on that day, you and mattheo always ended up in one of your dorm rooms with you slotted between his legs, reading.
there was a different book on each of your nightstands that the two of you were working through together. they weren't allowed to be touched unless the two of you were reading it together.
the one on your nightstand was a copy of the shining.
the one on mattheo's nightstand was a copy of lord of the flies.
you were currently slotted between his legs reading the shining.
his arms were wrapped around your torso, his cheek resting against the top of your head as you held the book visibly for the two of you.
the two of you had figured out very easily that you read at almost the same pace. you read slightly faster than mattheo, so whenever he is done with the visible pages, he'll place a soft kiss against the top of your head or he'll tap lightly against your stomach.
you always revel in the feeling of his chest pressed against your back, his legs cocooning yours.
if you weren't so enveloped in the book you could fall asleep this way. and you had many times.
" baby, you still with me ?" you heard mattheo whisper in your ear.
apparently you weren't falling asleep, but you had zoned out for the last couple of minutes just thinking about how much you enjoyed it.
you tilted your head back to look up at him with a soft smile.
" still with you, baby. just thinking. " you whispered.
" what you thinking about ? " he questioned, leaning down slightly to press a kiss onto your shoulder.
" just thinking about you. "
neither of you said anything else. he pressed his lips onto yours, lifting one of his hands to slide the book out of your hands and set it on your nightstand while your hands moved to pull the blankets further over the two of you
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wolfstardaughter-jj · 4 months
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DENSE
Summary: Yule Ball is right around the corner and you still haven't found a date. Or at least decided on asking someone as a date. But your heart is set on a certain redhead who just isn't taking a hint and is as dense as a rock.
Pairing: Fred Weasley x reader
Song: Must be Love by Laufey
Warning: fluff, anxiety rant (reader stressed with school)
Word count: 4.8k+
A/n: honestly I started this around February this year and forgot about it... yeah that bad. I wanted to get it out of my system since it's been there for a while. This was actually meant to be part of my serendipity book but i still havent written the other chapters but I really like this chapter. Either way I hope you lovelies will enjoy it, Happy holidays<3333
~~~~~~~
Everyone was ecstatic from the announcement of the Yule ball. It was the first ever dance they were to have at the school and everyone was already starting off their plans on what to wear and who to go with. With the Triwizard tournament at hand, you were glad there was something to take your mind off the stress.
Training and helping Harry through all of the practices were starting to wear you out.
At the moment, all of you were in the Great hall simply studying. You were nearly done with your assessment when from the corner of your eye, you spot Fred throwing a piece of paper towards his younger brother.
Ron raised his head up in annoyance, wondering why his brother would want to disturb him. He opened the ball of crumpled paper and read the words "you better get a move on or else there won't be any girl to ask to be your date." Or something like that, he only skimmed through it.
Ron gave Fred an annoyed stare, "Who are you going to the Yule ball with then?"
Fred crossed his arms and sent Ron a smirk, "Well, I still have to ask them. I’m thinking on doing it really soon,"
Your ears prick up at his words. He's planning on asking someone else to the ball? Of course he'd be going with someone but you had always hoped it would be you.
Your heart sank at the mere thought he was going to ask someone else to the Yule ball.
Ron looked surprised, he thought that Fred had already asked you but he was wrong. He looked towards you, seeing you leaned over your assessment, looking like you didn't care to pay mind to what he and Fred were talking about. But in truth, you did care, you cared a whole lot.
"How about you Y/n? Who are you going with? Lots of guys have been asking you lately, it shouldn't be too hard to choose one." Ron asked, not knowing that this was sparking a little jealousy in Fred.
You looked up from your paper and looked at Ron. You saw the worried glances Harry and Hermione were sending your way.
"I won't tell you cause it's a surprise." You whispered back with a wink before looking back down on your activity.
Fred tensed up at your words, it sounds like you already accepted to be someone’s date. He didn't want to pry on who it was in case he might get his heart even more broken, but of course, curiosity got the best of him.
"Really? Why am I only hearing of this now?" Fred asked.
"Well technically they haven't asked me yet so I'm going to ask them instead." You replied courtly.
Fred seemed perplexed. They haven't asked her to the ball yet? What an idiot. Oh god wait, is she planning on asking that Beauxbatons girl? No she wouldn't, she would have told me.
"...so who's the lucky girl- or guy?" Fred stumbled on his words as he leaned in. He really wanted to know who it was, even if it was at the expense of his own feelings.
You look at him with a grin, trying to mask the slight nervous breakdown you were having within. It was ironic that he was asking about this especially since it was him you were talking about.
"I'm not telling you who it is, Freddie. Like I said, it's a surprise." You state as you finish up your assessment.
"Oh come on, you don't need to tell me their name. Maybe give me some clues? Like which school they're going to-"
You narrowed your eyes at him, knowing how stubborn he was going to be about this. "Well that would just narrow down your possible choices."
He started shaking your arm like a child asking their parents for a sweet in a sweet shop. "Come on, just tell me."
You shook your head and laughed at his dramatics. "Fred, you should finish up your activity."
"Hey, don't change the subject." Fred pointed out.
"You're not gonna do it till I tell you, huh?" You said with an unimpressed stare.
"Nope. Now can you at least tell me one thing?" He urged on.
You let out a sigh as you went deep in thought. Do you really want to help him in finding out who it is or leave him to his madness. You decided on the first choice. It wasn't like he was gonna figure out it's him.
"They're studying here at hogwarts."
"...Yeah, that totally narrows down the choices." Fred sighed. "Which house are they in?"
You chuckled, "like I'd tell you that. That would make it too obvious."
Hermione laughed from the other side. "Y/n, even if you say what house they're in, I don't think they'll be able to figure out who it is."
You thought about it for a second and realized she had a point. "Huh, you're right." You agreed with a chuckle.
"What's that supposed to mea- you know what, I don't wanna know. What I do wanna know is, who this person is." Fred was adamant at finding out who the mystery person was, and it was starting to make you nervous that he might actually figure it out.
He sat up once he found an alternative solution to his predicament. "Oh, I know, I'll name a bunch of people, and you tell me if they're the person. Okay?"
"What if I lied and said no even if they were the person I was going to ask to the ball?" You smirked, which was only returned with an unimpressed glare.
Fred was about to say something but decided against it. "I'll just do it anyways… is it Diggery."
You shook your head a no.
"Draco?"
You cringed at the thought, no offense to Draco. Besides you knew he had his eyes in a certain Gryffindor. "Godric no, he's already planning on going with someone else."
Both Harry"s and Fred's eyes seemed to widened at the statement, Harry seemed even more surprised.
They both yelled out in unison, "He is?!”
Snape went in to scold the two for their outburst. Removing 5 house points from each of them. Causing the surrounding students to send their glares towards the two.
“Yes he is! Now hush the both of you!” You scolded as you continued with your work.
“Right, I shouldn't get distracted… How about that Freya girl?" He spoke her name in doubt, scared that he might be right.
You chuckled at the mention of her name, "No, she's going with her girlfriend."
Fred's heart settled at the realization, abit shocked by the new information but he was delighted to have that thought settled in his mind. That means you weren't going to act on your childhood crush. But then the thought entered his mind that it meant you were planning on going with someone else, someone he wasn't aware of.
"How about… Neville?"
"Already going with someone."
"Dean?"
"He plans on asking someone else."
"Zabini?"
"Nice guy but no."
"Nott?"
"He's going stagg."
"I don't know why I'm even asking this but, how about Lee?"
You immediately shook your head a no.
Lee perked up from his seat at the mention of his name. "Huh? I heard my name, what's going on."
George leaned over and told Lee about the situation.
"Ohhh, I see." Lee chuckled, "this is going to be fun." He whispered back.
"Godric...well uh, is it Louis?" Fred guessed. At this point he didn't know who else could be the possible match.
"No. He is a good option but no." You simpered on, wondering where this conversation was going to take you.
"I give up on doing this, just answer my questions." Fred continued. "Do you talk to them everyday?"
The question seemed vague enough for him to not know who so it didn't hurt to answer him. “Yes,”
Fred went deep in thought, why did he even choose this question? "Who would you be talking to that I wouldn't know about...
You all chuckled to hear his words, he may seemed to be really observant when it came to you but completely oblivious at the same time.
"Oh wow Fred, you take note of who y/n talks to everyday?" George teased, though Fred didn't really see it that way.
"So what? I'm with her almost all the time, I would know who she'd be talking to." Fred explained.
"You aren't with her all the time. What about during class hours?" Hermione stated.
Fred looked dumbfounded, he didn't think of that.
Harry leaned over to you, making sure no one else heard him other than you, "I wonder how long it's going to take for him to realize it's him."
"Give it 2-3 business days." You replied with a chuckle.
Fred turned back to you with another question in mind. "What does their name start with?"
You shook your head with a chuckle. "I'm not going to answer that."
"Ugh, fine. Are they taller than you?"
You laughed at his question, "Yes." By a lot.
"That question doesn't even help. Lots of people are taller than Y/n." Harry commented earning a smack on the head from you. You caught Fred laugh at his joke which you used to your advantage.
You gasped and feigned an insulted look, "Okay, ouch. I was just thinking about telling you who it was but I changed my mind." You scooted away, with a false pout.
Fred laughed, trying to pull you back to him by pulling you by the waist. "I'm only joking, love."
You replied with an eye roll, trying to conceal the grin that slowly crept onto your lips.
You began packing your things before facing Fred again, "Seeing as you're not doing the activity, I'm going to go and spend the rest of the period outside."
“Oh come on, tell me who it is.” Fred stated with a pout as he theld onto your hand to keep you from leaving.
“Like I said before, no.” You replied with a teasing grin before grabbing the rest of your things.
You stood up from your seat and handed in your paper to Snape. He seemed to have been listening in on your conversation. He seemed to find your conversation quite amusing.
"If that Weasley boy doesn't ask you soon, I think it's better you accept Diggery's offer." He suggested in his usual monotone voice but there was this spark of interest in his eyes on the topic which surprised you.
“Professor Snape!” You laughed, surprised by this side of your professor.
“I'm just saying,” He simply shrugged before walking off with your work.
~~~~~~
The following day was hectic, more so than usual.
Most of the classes were finishing up their lessons so that during the holiday break you'd all be free from the burdens of school work. But it didnt help when they just piled more school work over the other to cram everything in one go.
Things seemed worse for you since you had decided to take up more classes this year. Not just that, but you somehow tangled yourself into becoming a some sort of charm fixer for the younger years whenever they'd mess up a spell.
And because Harry got himself stuck with being a triwizard champion for Hogwarts. You had to help him with spells and charms just so he could survive the challenges. You wouldn't be able to to live with yourself if anything were to happen to him under your watch.
As the holiday's were approaching, the only decent things about your schedule was the dance classes in between subjects. You had already learned how to waltz when you were a girl. Your parents weren't ones to host glamorous balls but your grandparents were. You had fond memories of your dance classes during your summers spent abroad. Twirling endlessly in studios till your head wouldn't stop spinning.
McGonagall appeared at the front of the hall and cleared her throat to call the attention of the crowd. "find your partners everyone, we will begin shortly."
Everyone began scattering across the room searching for their partners. You had the tendency to switch partners every now and then since the boys kept asking if you could show them the steps to the dance. You didn't mind, even if it meant getting your toes stepped on every now and again.
As you looked across the room, you wondered who you would be dancing with this time. Your own question was answered when your hand was suddenly grabbed and you were twirled around to be flush against someone's chest.
"Freddie!" You laughed, the wind was nearly knocked out of you from the sudden turn.
"You don't mind having this dance with me, do you love?" He asked with a tilt of his head.
You shook your head with a grin, "No, I don't mind at all."
Your hands were intertwined as your other hand rested on his shoulder and his hand grasped your waist. There was no tense atmosphere compared to the other boys who always seem to stray away from their confident selves when around you. But not Fred, no. He was always his true self around you.
The music began playing and echoed through the hall. Light footsteps pattered across the floor as people tried to find their footing. Some seemed to struggle more than others but that wasn't the case for you and Fred.
The two of you danced across the floor in sync. The two of you paid little mind to everything around you as you both were lost in your own world. Like your heart harmonised with the beat of his heart and that was the only rhythm you guys needed to dance.
"You've improved since the last time we've danced." You teased as you continued your steps.
Fred rolled his eyes at the memory of his poor attempt at trying to dance the waltz with you during one of your grandparents balls. He didn't exactly want to be there in the first place let alone dance a waltz he's never learned. But he didn't want to leave you there alone either. You wanted to dance, so he danced with you.
"Careful, I might step on one of your toes again." He taunted as he went along with your teasing.
You shook your head with a laugh. You had hoped that he would be your date for the ball. When he accompanied you to your grandparents' ball, it was like something out of a fairy tale. Though he stepped on your toes once or twice, it was all worth it. Especially when around the end, the two of you were left alone out in the gardens to stargaze the rest of the night.
Maybe, just maybe he would ask you to the ball.
Fred knew from your silence, you were stuck in thought. "You're still not going to tell me who it is?"
Your eyes snapped back to him, "Who?"
"The one you're taking to the ball." He replied almost in a whisper. At this point he wondered if he should still be asking about who it is. Is he really going to subject himself to this hurt?
Your eyes softened at his question. "Freddie..." you could tell him the truth. You could tell him that the guy you most desperately want to go to the ball with was him. But you were too scared to do so. Godric forbid you had any bravery left in you to tell him your true feelings.
You could casually ask him to the ball. Make nothing of it. To go as friends. But something in your gut told you that if you went together, things would be different. Things were different.
You weren't just little kids anymore. You were both at that stage in your life where love and relationships were the main focus of everyone's lives. If you screw up things with Fred, you'd probably spiral into a mess.
"You don't have to tell me. Just make sure to save me a dance, alright?" You could feel the defeat sink into his voice. But before you could do anything about it you were pulled away by another person to continue the waltz.
You caught a glimpse of Fred and you could feel your heart start breaking. You wanted to tell Fred but was it really worth the cost?
~~~~~~
It had been two days since Fred had questioned you about the mystery guy and you thought he just dropped the topic and forgot, but you were wrong.
Truth was, it was all he could think about. He didn't even try to ask you to go with him to the ball that day because he was scared he was going to get shot down.
And if you were being honest, he was all you could think about too. Not just on the fact that he was so adamant at knowing who the mystery person was, but also because he too had someone on his mind on who to ask for the ball.
If there was already someone he planned on asking, why even bother asking him to be your date to the ball? You felt hopeless and most of all, stupid for ever thinking you had a chance at asking Fred to the ball.
These thoughts consumed you to the point you didn't even want to try to sleep anymore. You just laid there on your bed, staring at the ceiling. Eventually you got hungry and tired of your own thoughts.
You got up from your bed and slowly crept away from the girl's dormitory, being careful not to wake anyone up, especially Stark. Godric knows how grumpy that cat gets when he gets woken up. You didn't currently have the map with you since it was with Harry but you didn't mind. You've basically engraved the school's layout in your mind.
You eventually reached the portrait and got out. It wasn't totally pitch black but it would help to have a little light help guide your way.
As you walked through the empty hallways, you couldn't help but think about all the things that were troubling you these last few days. I guess lots of things have been bothering you lately. You didn't exactly know where to start.
The thought that Harry was constantly being placed out into the line of danger and you not being able to help him is killing you. You have always been there to protect him and help him out but with the stupid Triwizard tournament rules getting in your way, you can't do anything about it.
Your stroll eventually led up to the kitchens, quickly grabbing a few snacks and bidding daisy and the other elves goodbye before going around the castle again. You missed these peaceful silences.
In all honesty you were suffocating from all of the school work and activities brought by the Triwizard tournament. You may not have been part of them but your professors seemed to have the impression that you were capable of handling lots of extra school tasks.
Like helping lead the class in dance classes in preparation for the Yule ball since you had experience in ball dancing. Assisting in charms classes in the lower years in your free time. Being a sort of ambassador for the foreign students seeing as you can speak French and russian. As if already having to deal with your normal studies and Quidditch wasn't enough.
You liked that they thought of you as a responsible student but you were juggling so many things that you rarely had the time for anything fun anymore. While your friends were off pranking, you were stuck helping second years undo charms that went wrong. While Kayla, Pansy and Mione were doing their usual "book club" sessions, you were busy helping Harry figure out how to do certain spells.
Your mind was so wrapped up in all your worrying that you didn't even realize that your footsteps led you to Monty. You grinned at the sight of the tree.
"Hello old friend." You greeted as you sat at the root of the tree.
You snacked on your food as you contemplated in silence. Though the tight feeling was still present in your chest, it felt comforting to be in a place that made you feel safe.
You leaned your head back on the tree and looked up at the star covered sky. You missed star-gazing. With all of the chaos, you haven't been able to star-gaze in a while.
Like a gush of fresh air passing you, you knew a presence was nearby. One that you were all too well familiar with.
You turned your head to look at him with a light grin. There he stood in his plaid pajamas and initial sweater.
"How come you always manage to find me?" You asked, tilting your head with a chuckle.
"I should be the one asking why you're always wandering off, in the middle of the night no less." Fred replied as he sat down next to you.
You both sat there quietly; looking up at the stars, mostly lost in thought. That was until Fred decided to break the silence.
"Why are you up so late? I know you don't usually sleep early but even 3 am is a stretch for you.” Fred stated as he pointed at his watch. ”What's on your mind, Carrington?"
A concerned look fell on your face, you didn't realize that much time passed already. You let out a sigh, you knew you were going to end up exhausted the next day.
"Honestly?" You inquired.
Fred nodded at you with sincerity, he had all his attention focused on you.
You sighed and suddenly the words just poured out of you, "it's just… so much is happening and I don't know how to deal with it all. I have to assist the younger years in charms, quidditch training, normal classes, foreign students and- il se passe trop de choses et j'ai l'impression que je vais pleurer et crier mais-" (too much is happening and i feel like I'm going to cry and scream but-). You paused, forgetting that Fred didn't know a lick of French.
"Fuck sorry, I didn't mean to do that." You apologized as you sunk your face into your hands.
"No, no, it's okay. Just keep going. I'll listen, even though I don't understand a single word of french. I'll be here to listen." He replied as he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer to him.
You nodded as you continued on in your rant, the words were all coming out like a broken dam. "It's just that so much is going on and pour l'amour de la merde, you'd think they'd give a 4th year a break. I feel like I'm on the verge of breaking down every minute but I won't let myself go because there's still so much meant to be done."
You haven't really told anyone about how stressed you've been feeling lately and it felt so great to actually tell someone. Fred nodded along as he listened to you. There was this look on his face, as though he hung on every word you said, regardless if it was in a foreign language.
"Oh darling, I'm so sorry you've been doing all that work. They should be paying you at this point. Is there anything I can do to lessen the load?" Fred asked as he brushed and stroked your hair.
You sighed and closed your eyes, "unfortunately, no."
He tilted his head, as if not believing what you said. “Are you absolutely sure? Cause you know me, I can give Minnie and Alby a piece of my mind.”
“Thanks for the offer but I'm sure I can handle it." You leaned your head on his shoulder in defeat.
"I know you can, but it doesn't mean you have to." He replied, rubbing his hand over your arm.
All these years, he's been by your side through it all. Through all the Voldemort nonsense, through the injuries, through the nightmares, everything.
"Freddie." You whispered.
"Yeah, love?" He replied.
"Thank you."
He faced you with this puzzled look, "For what?"
You gave him a simple shrug, thinking the answer was already obvious. "For just being there for me."
Fred's features softener and pulled you in closer to his side. "Anything for you, darling. You know that."
“I do…I hope you know the same applies to you.” You replied as you looked up at him.
“I do.” He nodded as he looked up at the stars. They were incredibly bright tonight, he wondered if you always wandered out here just to look at the stars to clear your head. That would explain why he would always find you here.
“When was the last time we went stargazing together?”
You grinned at the memory, “last summer when we went camping on the reserve.”
“We should do it again.” He replied, his eyes still glued to the stars.
You look at him with a cheek aching smile, “yeah, we should.” He may have meant the stars in the sky, but to you, it meant the freckles that were scattered across his cheeks like constellations. Those were the stars you were willing to spend endless nights studying.
“Can we just look at the stars while they're still out?” He laced his fingers between yours, gently rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.
“Okay.” You replied, snuggling yourself closer to Fred to get comfy as you looked up at the sky.
And that's what you both did till dawn came. The sky twisting in colors of peach and purple as the sun slowly rose over the grounds of Hogwarts. It was a quiet morning, and for once your mind was quiet too.
Maybe it had something to do with the boy whose shoulder you were resting your head on or the peaceful ambience the morning brought you. You didn't really care, you were happy and that was it.
You couldn't help but feel a sudden surge of confidence flow through you. It could have been your mind lacking sleep but everything that was holding you back from telling Fred about your feelings just flew out the window.
You wanted to tell him, and you wanted to tell him now.
You sat up and turned to Fred in a rushed motion. Your movements startled the boy but he was left waiting for whatever you were about to do.
“What's wrong, love?” He asked you, surprisingly not as sleepy as you expected him to be.
“Remember what I said about that person I was going to ask to the Yule ball?” You hesitated with your words. You weren't even sure if you were thinking straight. You prayed that whatever words formed in your head would be the right words to say to Fred.
Fred tensed at your words. He nodded slightly, hoping that the next words that would leave your mouth wouldn't hurt too much.
“Well…” You felt your throat go dry but you were already in too deep, you had to commit. “To tell you the truth, they're really really really dense. And honestly I don't even know why they would even want to go with me if the opportunity presented itself but-.”
Fred's forehead creased at your words, who wouldn't want to go with you to the ball? That would be like turning down the chance to enter heaven. “Why'd you think that, love? Anyone lucky enough to even be in your sights should be thanking God or whatever force for putting you on this earth.”
You felt your cheeks go bright red and your heart beat ten times faster. You weren't even sure if you could have controlled it with Fred's words just pouring out of his mouth like they just came to him naturally. He didn't even stop there. Once he started he couldn't stop.
“I mean look at you, I don't think I can think of anyone else in the whole entire world that could even come close to how perfect you are. I mean sure, you're basically a night owl with how little you sleep because you'd rather read than have a decent amount of sleep,”
You laughed at his little comment, shoving him slightly in the shoulder, but that didn't stop him from continuing his rant.
“You literally land in the hospital wing every week or so because you'd rather put yourself in harm's way than others. And you don’t even like sharing your cookies but you still do. You even ask your grandmother to send more cookies just so you can share more of them. All these things I just listed down are just more reasons why you’re perfect- and why I love you.” He let those words slip past his lips so quickly he barely even registered them. By the time he realized what he said he knew he couldn't take them back, nor did he want to.
“And yes, I love you… and not just in a friend way but the “I love you so much that if you're not around I can't breathe and the mere thought that you probably like someone else is killing me”... way.”
You were left speechless. You felt like a complete idiot at that moment. You both were fools from the start. How couldn't you have seen the signs?
He was the only one there for you when no one else was. That time you landed in the hospital wing after a full moon incident from helping your uncle moony, he was the one who stayed by your side all those nights.
When you got a cold after a snowball fight with the Weasley’s over the holidays, Fred visited you nearly everyday at the Manor to check on you before he too caught a cold. Then it was your turn to take care of him.
When you got detention from getting caught for a prank you pulled, Fred got himself detention so you wouldn't be alone.
Fred felt his chest tighten at the silence, you haven't said a thing in the last few seconds and it was terrifying. “I know you probably don't feel the same-”
Finally, you snapped out of your self inflicted scolding and reached over with one hand to keep you up and the other on Fred cheek. “My god you are dense.” with that, your lips crashed into his and suddenly everything fell into place.
All the years of pining. All the endless hours of you avoiding and hiding your feelings when all along, the both of you were just too scared of saying how you felt.
His hand slipped over to your cheek while his other hand gripped your waist. He couldn't even process his thoughts about what was happening. Was this actually real? Was this a dream? Was he even awake?
His thoughts were silenced when you pulled away just slightly to let out a small whisper, something that was meant for him and him alone, “I love you too.”
A grin grew on Fred's lips, going up ear to ear. It felt like hearing your favorite song for the first time. You loved him. He couldn't believe it. Fred pulled you in for another kiss but it was difficult from how he just couldn't stop smiling.
“Really?” He asked, his voice heavy with bliss and giddiness. It was like the whole world just lit up for him. He really couldn't believe it.
You let out a light laugh at the sight, “Yes, really.” Before placing a peck on his lips.
“Are you absolutely sure?” He asked again, this time with a smirk and his usual tone of arrogance. Sure he still couldn't fully wrap his head around the thought that you, the girl of his dreams, actually loved him back. But that still didn't stop him from teasing the living daylights out of you.
You pondered on the question further, knowing how Fred loved to play this game. Your silence only furthered the fun when Fred began to grow impatient. “On second thought…”
Fred let out a chuckle before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you up to his lap, “Nice try love. You've already said the words. You can't take them back.”
You rolled your eyes jokingly before facing him with a cheek aching grin, “oh no, what shall I ever do?” You replied with feigned fear before letting out another laugh.
Fred leaned over to your cheek, his nose barely grazing over the surface of your cheek. “How about I take you to the ball as…your boyfriend?”
You pulled away with a grin, "Are you sure?”
Fred looked off into the distance and tapped his finger over his chin, “Hmmm, you know on second thought-”
You let out a laugh before resting your hands at the back of his neck, “Nuh uh, you already said the words, Freddie. You can't take them back.” You repeated his words back to him with a smirk.
He pulled you in for another kiss to wipe away that smirk. But he then pulled away, just slightly, “You have my heart, love. I don't think I'll be able to take that back either.”
Feeling the blush rush up to your cheeks, you could only hide your flustered state in the crook of his neck. Now it was his turn to smirk.
“Don't get shy on me now, love.” Fred spoke as he hugged you tight. He thought that this was just too good to be true. He thought that maybe if he didn't hold on tight enough, all of this would cease to exist and reveal itself to be a dream.
You lifted your head out of the crook of his neck, only to feel the heat rush back to your cheeks. Seeing as the sun was rising up already, the blush was much more evident on your cheeks.
Fred looked at you with a soft smile, it was finally sinking in. He was finally yours, and you were finally his. And though the two of you may be dense, Godric knows Fred is never going to let you forget he loves you.
"I love you so much."
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waynewifey · 8 months
Text
aporia — b.w
part one : dear mr. wayne
part two: aftermath
part three: aporia
epilogue
sumary: aporia suggests “an impasse”, a knot or an inherent contradiction found in any text, an insuperable deadlock, or “double bind” of incompatible or contradictory meanings which are “undecidable”. [reference]
pairing: battinson/bruce wayne x reader
genre: drama & romance
warnings: mental health struggle, miscarriage, car crash, a lot of internal dialogue
word count: 2k
A/N: the more i write, the more i put myself in this story. i feel like this ‘you’ is so complex i can’t help but try to explain her further. part four will be bruce’s perspective on all of this + an epilogue. i’m so grateful for the amazing feedback given on the last two parts and for the new followers, thank you so so much. i hope you enjoy this. (also this gif??? HELLO???)
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GOTHAM. USA.
— bargaining.
the uncomfortable silence makes you want to scream. she told you that was a normal reaction and they couldn't get rid of those moments, they were essential for your self reflection. the problem was being alone with your thoughts, even for just one minute. they keep deciding you won't recover any time soon. everyone keeps holding you like a cracked vase. even negligence was better than being put under the microscope.
"i don't know what you want me to say" you respond, your gaze anxiously shuffling between the objects in the room. the woman's eyes, however, don't ever leave your face. she holds that journal like a scientist analysing a mutation. like you're some weird thing.
"you should say whatever you feel like saying." that's what she always answers. dr. quinn was extremely stoic, even for a therapist. you still liked her, though, because her pragmatic approach helped you shift your point of view and see yourself from an outside perspective, which made you want to help yourself. after weeks of feeling extra irritable, still trying to forgive your husband for lying to you, you realised maybe everything was too much for you to handle by yourself. you wanted to go back to the real world but before that, you had to do this. a quick chat with your psychiatrist and he gave you the contact to harley quinn.
"i think i've been way too mean to bruce" your confession has her nodding, like that observation had been made sessions before and she was waiting for you to realise that. "he's been so supportive and helpful, but sometimes words just fly out of my mouth and i don't even mean them"
"do you think it's easier to blame him than to come to terms with what actually happened?" you can't answer, because this was all you've asked yourself lately. you were a coward, hiding behind his suffering to prevent confronting yours. it's easy to curse him, to reject him, but it's not what you want to do. lately it feels like you don't have any control over your emotions and actions. you thought maybe if you pushed away the last person that still cared for you, you could disappear in your loneliness and finally stop hurting. "y/n you've been through something terrible. the kind of thing we never think it's gonna happen to us. i know it doesn't feel real, but you have to face it that it is. the thing about trauma... you have to keep living with it. you have to keep going, because it doesn't go away. but this is your life and you don't get to stay on standby. you hurt the people you love because it's better than hurting yourself. you told me you feel bad about it, so why won't you change?"
why won't you? you don't even know where to start. it felt comfortable living in sorrow forever. horrible, but comfortable. again, it was in fact easier to blame him than to accept this was reality. but he's right outside, been waiting for you for two hours, as he has done twice a week for over a month. you weren't being fair to him. he didn't deserve this. dr. quinn sees the defeat in your eyes and sighs in a mission accomplished type of breath.
"think about this, okay? we'll talk on friday." you nod, as if you weren't already overthinking it.
bruce sees you before listening to you. he's created the habit to stay in the waiting room with headphones in, blasting loud music. he didn't want you to feel like he was prying on you. he also didn't want to listen anything you had to say about him. you had the right to be mad at him, given everything that had happened. he knew you didn't mean it when you bomb dropped the word 'divorce' every now and then. it would take you some time to get back to normal and he wouldn't rush you.
you walk to the car quietly and get into the driver's seat. he agreed to let you drive to and from therapy. the office was actually in dr. quinn's house, a little bit on the country side of the city, if you could call it that. it was a 50 minute drive with no traffic, roads empty enough for you to drift off in you thoughts. he watches you drive, eyes brightening up a little more everyday. he realised that trying to shield you from the world wasn't going to work out. you need to learn how to be on your own. he needs to learn how to care for you while away.
"i'm sorry," you caught him off guard, observing the curves of your face. he frowns at the unexplained sentence. you glance at him but look back at the road. "for the way i've been acting. for pushing you away. for being too complicated. i know you're trying to help… thank you for staying."
"darling, of course. for better or for worse, remember? i'm never leaving you. we're getting through this, together. and don't you worry about me, i'll be okay when you are too, alright? you're doing great, i can see how much you're working towards it." he holds out a hand for you and you take it, intertwining your fingers. his calloused palms are softer now, courtesy of the months without batman-ing. they still embrace yours entirely and warm the cold tips of your fingers.
"i love you" the sweetness of that feeling dominates your tastebuds and it's almost like the day you started dating. that innocent type of love that consist of the pure enjoyment of each others company. however, your attempt to savour the moment is ruined by a shape in your peripheral eyesight.
"i love you too" bruce's voice is muffled by the anxious thoughts taking over your mind. the panic starts to overflow. he notices your body getting stiff and the wheel looking loose on your hand. your breathing lost it's rhythm to creaking gasps. there's something wrong. your eyes are frozen in a vehicle. he's seen this van before. maybe not this one, but an identical one, in a security camera tape in court. it looks exactly like the one that took you. "baby, hey, hey. i'm right here." you don't pay any mind to the man beside you. you can't, not when your instincts are telling you to run. not when you can feel the gun getting knocked on your head over and over again. bruce is saying something. the tears are blurring your sight. this is too much.
he's calling you screaming at this point, tears are rolling down your cheeks and you still haven't looked away from the van. there's a bump coming up, the car is dangerously fast and you're not driving at all. he goes for the wheel but isn't quick enough. the tires wiggle, going in their own direction. the car changes lanes, getting in the wrong way of the street. another car is coming and the impact isn't light. your head is thrown forwards, the airbag covering your face. the windshield shatters and little pieces of glass get stuck in your hair. the crash isn't too bad, you're both still awake and only the front has been smashed. but you get out hyperventilating, falling onto the ground and weeping.
bruce gets out as well, only a scratch on the forehead. he has to kneel on the dirt to hold you up. for a while, he doesn't say anything. the other driver is standing, phone in the ear. he's also fine. the cars were the only damage. two other drivers stop by, offering help. you wish he could help you, but it seems as if there's something inherently wrong with you.
— depression.
the weeks following the accident were harsh. it took a while to get you believing in recovery again. you still weren't sure. somehow there was press at the site, so pictures of you crying next to a car crash made it to the papers. there's minor commentary online about you faking it for your husbands popularity. most of the netizens feel desperately sorry for you and have painted you to be their new princess diana, the comparison seems wild to you.
you only go online every three days or so, because you can't resist the urge to know what bruce hasn't been telling you. jokes on you, he's actually been a lot more transparent lately. you agreed that the batman would show up to the sentence of edward nashton, to pressure the jury with his presence. it worked and the criminal got life without parole. the lawyers said that your public presence impacted on his trial, as 20 years was the standard. you were just glad he wouldn't do that to anybody else ever again. the case got national and your family from outside the state, that you not-so-kindly kept in the dark, started making contact, victimising you all over again.
but things were getting better, gradually. it had been almost a year and it felt like that chapter of your life was finally being finished. you were trying to get your life back, including your driver's license. it was suspended for a while after the accident, so now you had to submit a bunch of medical records to prove that you were mentally fine to drive again. that's how you found yourself in bruce's home office, searching everywhere for your documents. you could've asked him where he put it, but he had just fallen asleep in the living room and you didn't want to disturb him.
in one of the desk's drawers, you find a folder with the local hospital logo on it. you open it, shuffling through the papers you've seen before. only one stands out, with "ob/gyn" on the top of the sheet. you wonder if there's anything helpful there. your eyes start reading the words one by one, listing the examinations they've done on you. the subject changes abruptly.
the ultrasound analysis reports the miscarriage of an unknown pregnancy to the patient's spouse.
you feel like you're about to throw up. the world starts spinning as you force yourself to continue to read.
the fetus was estimated to be in the development stage of the beginning of the second trimester. the miscarriage was most likely a result of several mechanical trauma. dilation and curettage was performed with the patient in a medically induced coma.
you try to remember to breathe in and breathe out just like dr. quinn taught you. you expect the tears but they don't come out. the panic doesn't come. it's suddenly so quiet. it's not like a hole has been punched through your chest, it's like you have no chest at all. it's like you don't even exist. you somehow sit down, your body does. you feel as if it's moving on it's own and you're just watching from afar. your thoughts sound so distant, so irrelevant. you can only think of the baby that had once been inside of you and you didn't even realised. you didn't have the time to love him. you've had him there, right there, the thing you wanted the most in the world and he was taken from you. everything was taken from you.
if a tree falls on a forest, and there's no one around to hear, does it still make a sound? it felt like your fall was silent.
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