#he's my favorite character thanks to his heartbreaking story | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kingofbodyrolls · 6 months

Text

BTS fic recs: my 30th birthday special

Shit. I’m turning 30 today (I still feel like I’m 18 lol) 😯 So I wanted to make this special recommendation list for you, as a birthday present from me 💜 This includes some of my all time favorites (no, I’ll never stop screaming about those!!!!) and also, some good old ones that I’ve never gotten around to rec at the time.

I also have another birthday present for you (wish is also why I didn’t finish my reading list and why ‘Friendcation’ is on pause until after my birthday). I wrote a short one-shot, so if you’re in the mood for that, check it out → ‘Say that Again (I Dare You)’ [reader x jjk (ft. pjm)].

I actually didn’t get to finish my reading list for this special rec list, so I’ll add the rest of my recommendations as I read them (I’ll specify which I haven’t re-read yet) and the rest will be posted to this month’s regular rec list.

I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹

❗Most of these fics are smutty as hell or contains dark themes, so minors dni.❗

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the original fic’s post 💜And if you want more fic recs you can follow me to stay updated 🙂

BTS fic rec index → May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep (jjk)(knj) | Oct (pjm) | Nov (💜) | Dec (ksj)(kth) |

Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻.

Namjoon

⭐All Night by @luaspersona // knj x f.reader // college!au, brother’s best friend!au, s2l // 🥵

📝 When your brother bails on you, you have to find another way to entertain yourself for the night and Kim Namjoon just so happens to be a great company.

🗨️ This was the most perfect, pure masterpiece of fucking gold writing 🤌🏾🥵 it is insanely filthy, so deliciously smutty!! Like I think my soul has left my body 🥵 the writing, story and the characters were brilliant ✨ this is hands down one of my new favorites and I WILL read this again soon, I promise you! Don’t sleep on this sweet bad boy Namjoon, okay 🥵 such an easy recommendation for me to make - do yourself a favor and read it if you haven’t (and if you have, then read it again!) ♥️💯

⭐All Aboard! (the passion express) by @ve1vetyoongi // knj x f.reader // office worker!namjoon // 🥵

📝 There were not many things that got your blood boiling in the same way that two simple words could. Kim Namjoon. The name of your irritating and (unfortunately enough, as the universe would have it) incredibly handsome co-worker. Which is exactly why you never expected to find your self on your knees for him on the train home.

🗨️ Holy fuck, fuck, fuck this was so incredibly filthy (in the best way possible) 🥵 the tension between reader and Namjoon was perfect, the build up was so satisfying 🌟 what’s not to like ✨😍

⭐The Wedding Arrangement by @sugaurora // knj x f.reader // ‘enemies’ to friends to lovers, wedding!au // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 Unfortunately, he’s just gotten engaged to someone who isn’t you. Even more unfortunately, he expects you to help plan the wedding alongside Kim Namjoon, his other best friend and, based on your first meeting, just another judgmental jerk. Putting aside your distaste for the sake of your friend’s happiness, you both set about giving Seokjin the wedding of his dreams. Following a rough and satisfying affair at the caterer’s, you strike an unusual deal: you and Namjoon will be enemies with benefits until the wedding is over. And after six months of wedding planning, you both just might learn that weddings aren’t usually the end, but a brand new beginning.

🗨️ This was so amazing 🥹 the characters had so much depth and ugh! It was just so, so good. It was a pleasure reading their love unfolding 🥰 aish, I’m soft! It’s filled with plenty of soft, slight heartbreaking angst at times, but oh so fluffy and smutty too! It was perfect 👌🏾 💯 please don’t sleep on this one, okay? 🥹

Yoongi

⭐Roommates by @automnesleaves [AO3] [119K] // myg x f.reader // roommates!au, covid!au, slice of life // 😂🥰🌩️

📝 February 2020: Your best friend Jimin’s roommate recommendation, IT guy Yoongi Min, moves in with you. March 2020: Covid Lockdown.

🗨️ This is really, really good! I remember being so hooked on this, that I stayed up multiple nights to finish chapters. It was hard to put down, and so interesting to read how readers luck slowly turned – also, the dynamic between reader and Yoongi is great and there’s just so much lovely slice of life in it 💜

⭐Three Tangerines [series; ongoing] by @kithtaehyung // myg x f.reader // fuckboy!yoongi, brother’s best friend!au, age gap!au // 🌩️🥵

📝 Throughout high school, you sometimes caught glimpses of your brother’s older friends: some of them were sweet, some of them were smart. but the one closest to him? that guy was a total f*ckboy from day one. after a foray of horrid relationships spanning years - ending with one that broke up with you for an alarming reason - you needed advice on what the hell you were doing wrong… and this wasn’t a conversation for anyone sweet or smart.

🗨️ Yes. This is here again. It is one of my all-time favorites and I will not stop screaming about how fucking good this is! You just have to join the 3tan party or you are severely missing out, Doll. 💖✨

⭐Oh, darling! [series; completed] by @yoongiofmine // myg x f.reader // university!au, non idol au, professor!yoongi, student!reader // 🥰🌩️🥵

📝 Starting your second semester at one of South Korea’s most prestigious universities should be stressful enough. Between juggling classes, good grades and a social life, your plate was full. Hoping to spice up your academic career, you thought it was a good idea to enroll as an assistant for your literature professor, whom you’ve held a very secret and very forbidden crush on for the past several months. What will happen now that you’re forced to work closely together? And what if your crush isn’t as one sided as you thought?

🗨️ Holy fucking shit 🥵🫣😳 This is just one of my favorites series, EVER 💜 This is in my top 10, no questions! ✨

Hoseok

⭐Fate Doesn’t Exist by @whenIseeUsmile [AO3] [47K] // jhs x myg (mxm) // pilot!au, formula1!au // 😂🌩️

📝 Yoongi is a pilot. Hoseok is a Formula 1 driver. Jungkook's a fanboy and Jimin is oblivious.

Yoongi hates people but likes one-night-stands. One in particular but he doesn't like the fact that he's famous. He really shouldn't get involved with Hoseok. He does it anyways.

🗨️ I’ve read this multiple times! And it will forever be one of my favorites! I just love how their personality compliments each other, and how they keep meeting each other (also can’t stay away from each other). Plus, the side couples, both Jungkook x Jimin and Namjoon x Seokjin are just fucking hilarious – everything about this is golden, so if you’re into mxm it’s a really good read! 👏

⭐Flight 18 by @noona-la-la-la [9.5K] // jhs x f. reader // flight!au, idol!au // 🥵😂

📝 Korean Air Flight 18 leaves daily from Los Angeles traveling to Seoul. You’ve taken this flight before, but this time you’ve got an irritating passenger in the neighboring seat. Little did you know that he would end up giving you the ride of your life.

🗨️ This was just really really amazing; utterly funny (like I was laughing at certain points), so much sexual tension that evolves into satisfying smut 😗

Jimin

⭐The Airport Couple: P[ass]anger from Hell + Drabble by @dovechim & @jimlingss [8K] // pjm x f.reader // e2l, frequent traveler jimin x tsa agent reader // 😂😂😂🥰

📝 As a TSA agent, you expect your job to be relatively easy, most passengers these days follow the rules to the T in order to avoid prolonging their custom checks. But not a certain Park Jimin, who seems to have a problem understanding what 100ml is, or the very simple fact that gadgets must be taken out of the bag, and bomb jokes are strictly off limits. Frequent traveller Park Jimin is your nemesis, but darn is he a cute one.

🗨️ This is just so fucking hilarious, don’t get me started. I laughed from beginning to end 😂 And it’s still as good as I remember, if not even better??? Like ✨ I’ve highlighted a few of my favorite parts from the fic. I don’t want to give too much away, but these lines are just so damn hilarious! Please go read it, it’s one of my faves 💯

⭐The Airport Couple: Park Jimin’s Cock[pit] by @jimlingss & @dovechim [12K] // pjm x f.reader // pilot!au, bf2l, coworkers!au // 😂🥰🥵

📝 Talk about Angry Birds, and most people would immediately think of the mobile game app. But within your circle of friends, it stands for something else. It’s synonymous with Park Jimin, one of the most talented pilots from your batch who also just happens to have anger issues, or in other words, air rage. He is your best friend, but when you get teamed up with him as his co-pilot, you can only pray that things don’t go south… literally.

🗨️ I remember reading this a few years ago, and I loved it then and I still do ✨ It is incredibly funny, has good banter and dialogue to match. The chemistry between reader and Jimin is just priceless, their friendship is just pure giggles 🥹 It’s also fluffy and will tug on your heartstrings in the best way possible. Just really, really good and definitely also one of my all-time favorites 💯💜

⭐Since We Met by @inkjam-moon [9.2K] // pjm x f.reader // roommate!au // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 Your in love with your roommate, so you think maybe trying to date someone else will help you get over him, but when your roommate shows signs of jealousy, you begin to wonder; could he like you back?

🗨️ I haven’t re-read this yet – but I remember I loved it 💜(I’ll insert my rec here when I have read it again).

⭐Turbulence by @yminie [9.3K] // pjm x f.reader // flight!au // 🥵🥰

📝 On your first flight the cute boy next to you helps to sooth your nerves, and on the second flight he soothes something else.

🗨️ I haven’t re-read this yet – but I remember I loved it 💜(I’ll insert my rec here when I have read it again).

⭐Accelerate by @yminie [8.9K] // pjm x f.reader // flight!au // 🥵🥰

📝 Jimin comes to retrieve his jacket on the condition that you then accompany him for dinner, and you can bet he satiates every hunger.

🗨️ I haven’t re-read this yet – but I remember I loved it 💜(I’ll insert my rec here when I have read it again).

⭐Beneath the Water by @jungshookz // pjm x reader // fantasy!au + mermaid!au // 🌩️🥵🥰😂

📝 His legs were sparkling. You looked up from his face slowly and towards his legs, your head tilting in confusion when you were met with the sight of… well, it certainly wasn’t a pair of legs. What the fuck?

🗨️ This is just perfect; a tiny bit angst, gold certified comedy and fluff (with a sprinkle of smut). There’s also a bullet point drabble of this, so please check that out too (here).

⭐Make Me by @jikookiekosmos // pjm x reader // office!au, boss!jimin/employee!reader + dom/sub themes // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 After a bad breakup, you decide to go out one night and drink your sorrows away - that is, until you see your now ex-boyfriend there with someone clinging to his arm. To get your mind off of things, you go back to your job after hours; what you don’t expect is for your boss and CEO of the company, Park Jimin, to show up and offer you help in ways you didn’t know you needed.

🗨️ It has heavy dom/sub themes (which I’m normally not into, but imma switch for this one!). It is incredibly hot and so, so damn perfect 🥵

⭐Pay Attention by @jikookiekosmos // pjm x reader // office!au, boss!jimin/employee!reader + dom/sub themes // 🥵🥰

📝 You’d mentioned it in passing once before, your fantasy about blowing your boss - and now boyfriend - under his desk during one of his important CEO business meetings. So what happens when you want to turn that fantasy into a reality, and he wants it just as much?

🗨️ This is a sequel to ‘Make Me’ (but can be read as a stand-alone) - and it is just pure dirty smut. The dynamic between reader and Jimin is just so good ✨

Jungkook

⭐The Wedding Planners by @gukyi [28K] // jjk x f.reader // e2l, wedding!au // 😂🥰🌩️🥵

📝 Jeon jungkook is three things: cocky, terrible, and your worst enemy. then your best friend hoseok gets engaged to the love of his life, and suddenly jeon jungkook is four things: cocky, terrible, your worst enemy, and the man you will be spending the next seven months with in order to plan your best friend’s wedding.

🗨️ I also remember reading this a few years ago and it was just a very funny and pleasant reread 💜 What I love about this is one, is definitely the slow-burn and the enemies to lovers aspect too. The banter between reader and Jungkook is just so priceless and reading how their relationship slowly unfolds and develops through the months of the wedding planning was just everything 💯 Hoseok and Yoongi’s personality in this also makes this fic truly amazing.

⭐Secret Slut (1) by @jeonsweetpea [7.7K] // jjk x f.reader (ft. pjm) // office!au, pa!jungkook x ceo!reader // 😂🌩️🥵

📝 Jungkook accidentally gifts you, his boss, a sex toy for Secret Santa.

🗨️ I remember reading this a few years ago and now I see that there’s even a part two to it, that I haven’t read! This one is really funny, like straight up hilarious – really made me laugh at times and then it got so freaking smutty 🥵 Really good!

⭐Secret Slut (2) by @jeonsweetpea [18.1K] // jjk x f.reader + pjm x f. reader // office!au, pa!jungkook, pa!jimin, ceo!reader // 🌩️🥵

📝 After being fired, Jungkook finds himself a new job only to realize he misses you too much. He comes back to discover you’ve hired a new personal assistant, Jimin. You offer him the only job position available, which was being the assistant’s assistant. Being demoted results in Jungkook feeling inadequate and he soon learns what it means to be jealous.

🗨️ I was so speechless after reading the last part of the series, like 🥵🥵🥵🥵 There’s so much smut in this, you’re like swimming in it, lol! And then something happens, that I won’t spoil because I actually didn’t expect that to happen (even though I should have seen it coming, because the build-up was there). So, a really good read!

⭐Departure by @nomnomsik [6.2K] // jjk x f.reader (ft. jimin) // pilot!au, coworkers!au // 🥵🥰

📝 As a flight attendant for Korean Air, you’re scheduled for a thirteen-hour flight to Japan. However, things get intimate between you and your partner and co-pilot, Jeon Jungkook, when he realizes Park Jimin, the famous idol from Korea, broads the plane and blatantly flirts with you.

🗨️ I haven’t re-read this yet – but I remember I loved it 💜(I’ll insert my rec here when I have read it again).

⭐Something Like Love by @iamtaekooked [8.4K] // jjk x f.reader // cop!au, police office!au // 🥰

📝 It was meant to be a regular day at the hospital. That is until you get kidnapped in broad daylight. Meanwhile, the famous detective Jeon Jeongguk who also happens to be your best friend, just wanted a normal day free of world’s bullshit, but he couldn’t even have that.

🗨️ I haven’t re-read this yet – but I remember I loved it 💜(I’ll insert my rec here when I have read it again).

⭐The Forgotten Spaces [completed series] by @oddinary4bts // jjk x reader // college!au, dancer!au + e2l // 🌩️🥵🥰

📝 you’ve been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?

🗨️ This is truly a masterpiece! The writing is perfect and the characters have so much soul, dimension, hurt and love. It is exceptional 👏🏾♥️ you just have to read this gem 💎

⭐Two point Five (2.5): pt2 + pt3 [series] by @bratkook // jjk x f.reader // handyman!jk, s2f2l // 🥵🥰

📝 Who would have thought booking a handyman from an app would lead to this. sure, you wish he’d mount you instead of just your television, but you could totally be friends. Right?

🗨️ This is also one of my all time favorites! 💎There is just something incredibly hot about handyman JK 🥵 It is so good, juicy, smutty and there's comedy in it too! Please don’t be sleeping on this one.

Okay, okay, okay. So the list got out of hand! And I know I say “this is in my top 10” but I can’t even pick my top 10 because I have waaaay too many favorites 😂

I hope you have an awesome day, are happy and stay healthy! I’ll go and enjoy my birthday with a chill day, birthday dinner with my family, probably some reading and watching the finale of Loki 🥳 🎂 Thank you so much for liking, commenting or reblogging my rec lists, it means a lot to me – remember to reblog, comment and/or like the fics you like on the list to the the lovely authors know you love their stuff 💜

236 notes · View notes

cozage · 8 months

Note

Hi cozage,

Congrats for 2k!!!🤧💖

SO, I was thinking about how Sabo would confess his feelings for his beloved one, or like, SHE would confess first? Being so oblivious and occupied with work like he is, maybe isn't crazy imagine that happening 👀✨

I loved the silent treatment one with him lol, I don't see a lot of imagines with him, I miss it rsrsrs

Thanks for lighting up my day with your stories 💖

Thank you! Writing Sabo is always fun, I enjoyed this one a lot :)

Characters: gn reader x Sabo Total word count: 1k

Subtle Realization

You knew you liked Sabo. You found him attractive from the moment you met him. But the second in command of the revolutionary army wasn’t as obvious with his feelings towards you.

You worked closely with him for weeks, a constant battle between hot and cold emotions from him. Sometimes, he asked about your day, your likes and dislikes, and many other things. Other days, he only barked out orders. It was confusing, to say the least. But there were a few moments that made you realize he was actually paying attention.

One morning, you were running late to a meeting, and you fully expected everyone to be pissed at you. You didn’t even have time to stop at your favorite bagel shop and grab breakfast.

But when you slipped into the meeting beside Sabo, he handed you a bagel with cream cheese and your favorite tea.

“How’d you know?” you whispered.

“I always see you there.” He shrugged. “Figured I’d just get your order for you since you weren't there this morning. That’s what friends do.”

Friends. That pesky word that he loved so much. He may have done one of the kindest things he had ever done for you- for anyone- but you were still just friends.

It was only a few days later when he asked you to dinner.

“We’re both working late, and you’ve been working so hard, I just thought it would be nice to go somewhere and talk away from work.”

“Sure.” Your voice was monotone, but your heartbeat quickened at the thought of the two of you at dinner. Alone.

It was a nice restaurant, far fancier than what you had dressed for, but Sabo complimented how lovely you looked, and the two of you had a fabulous time.

He learned about your past, and you learned about his-what he could remember of it, at least. He paid for dinner and even walked you back to your little cramped living space, like a true gentleman.

“Thank you for the meal,” you said. “Would you like to come in for a bit? It’s not much, but-”

“Oh no,” Sabo said quickly. “Dinner was lovely. We should do it again sometime.”

Were you reading too much into his words? Or was he trying to insinuate that he was feeling something more?

You smiled, trying not to let too much excitement show. “I’d like that quite a lot.”

“As would I.” He tipped his hat to you. “Since we’re coworkers, I think it’s important we get to know each other as much as possible.”

Coworkers. Somehow, it was worse than friends. You tried not to let your disappointment show, but once you slipped into your room, you couldn’t help but burst into tears.

A few weeks later, you were grumbling about your roommate. The set up was atrocious, and while you weren’t much of a complainer, your roommate and living space were both worthy of complaining about.

“Why don’t you just move in with me?” Sabo asked, not even bothering to look up from his writing.

You stared at him for a few moments. Surely you had heard him wrong. “What?”

“Move in with me,” he said again. “You already stay here well past midnight. Sometimes you even crash on the couch. I have a spare room. You should move in.”

You scoffed. “I can’t just move in, Sabo. Its-”

“Why not?” he asked, finally looking up at you. “It wouldn’t be much different than now. Nothing would change except where you call home.”

Home. With Sabo. Surely you were setting yourself up for heartbreak here. But you agreed.

Three days later, you moved in with him. And while you still referred to each other as coworkers or friends, you also went home together. You cooked dinner together. You shared a bathroom, and worked in the study together.

You never had a break from him, but you didn’t mind. In fact, on your off days, the two of you often went and did something together. You read books together and talked about them over dinner. You went on walks, and trained, and only when you said goodnight did the two of you go your separate ways. Sabo to the room on the left, and you to the room on the right.

It was awkward at first, but you quickly found a way to cohabitate. Cooking and cleaning was infinitely more fun with Sabo by your side, and he laughed a lot more in your presence.

Ten months after you first met him, he finally came to the realization.

You were sitting at dinner, just the two of you. You had made pasta, and you had managed to get some sauce on your face while the two of you were eating.

Without thinking, Sabo leaned over and gently wiped it from your chin, and suddenly the entire world simultaneously flipped on its head and made so much sense.

“Oh,” Sabo whispered, still staring at the place where the sauce had been. “I think I could do this forever with you.”

Your heart was beating so loud in your chest, you were certain he could hear it.

“What do you mean?” you whispered, scared to be hopeful.

His eyes darted up to yours. “I think I love you. And I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“Sabo-” you breathed out, but he lunged across the table, connecting his lips with yours.

He pulled away far too soon, afraid he had ruined one of the only friendships he actually cared about.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I know you might not feel the same way. I just realized and had to tell you.”

Part of you was certain this was a dream. But if it was, you never wanted to wake up.

“I feel the same,” you assured him. “I just wasn’t sure if you would ever…” You trailed off, unsure how to finish the sentence.

He gave you a slightly devious smile, leaning back across the table to give you another kiss. “Well I do. And we have a lot of lost time to make up for.”

For the first time since you moved in, the two of you didn’t go separate ways for bed.

#one piece #one piece imagine #one piece scenario #one piece x reader #one piece x you #op sabo #revolutionary sabo #one piece sabo #sabo x reader #sabo x you #sabo x y/n #cozage #✧˚sabo✧˚

318 notes · View notes

tayrae515imagines · 11 months

Text

Only Bought This Dress So You Could Take It Off.

Requested: Nope! I just love Jake Seresin.

Warnings: Language. Mentions of death. Losing a parent. Brief mentions of smut. Non-consensual touching (on the face for about two seconds.) Poorly grieving with death. Probably grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. Just go with it.

Pairing: Jake Seresin x Fem!Kazansky!Reader (Call Sign: Frosty)

Type: Angst with a happy ending

Summary: Inspired heavily on Dress by Taylor Swift.

Y/N’s relationship with the one and only Jake Seresin has always been difficult to say the least. The two banter back and forth, constantly flirting or taunting each other. They have never been more than friendenemies at best until one day they weren’t and Y/N finds herself yearning for the one man who drives her absolutely crazy.

Authors Note: So I have seen Top Gun Maverick about twelve+ times since it came out about a year ago now. I just love it so much. It has easily become one of my favorite movies. From the storyline to the characters and overall movie aesthetic. I have spent the past few weeks reading nothing but Jake fics and felt like writing one myself.

I have not written anything in a very very veryyyy long time. So this honestly could be bad. But, with that being said, I am so happy with the direction this went in and it feels good to have written again. Please let me know your thoughts. :) I do also want to point out I have somewhat changed the timeline of the movie to fit my story. Thank you so much for reading!

Our secret moments in your crowded room

They got no idea about me and you

There is an indentation in the shape of you

Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo

“You know, sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic remarks around you.”

“Don’t hold back on my account darlin’.” That sickeningly sweet, southern draw floats by Y/N’s ear, making the girl roll her eyes.

The voice belongs to none other than Jake “Hangman” Seresin. The one person who seems to always get under Y/N’s skin despite her normally unbothered demeanor.

Frosty was the callsign Y/N had been gifted. Partly due to her cold and calm demeanor and another part due to her infamous father Tom “Iceman” Kazansky. Y/N had grown up admiring her father, wanting nothing more than to be like him one day. From a very young age the girl knew she was meant to be a pilot.

There was no denying that Y/N was given chances others weren’t but that didn’t mean the girl didn’t work just as hard as others, if not harder. Which is how she ended up back at Top Gun among the best of the best. One of which just happened to be the only man who managed to drive her mad.

“Bagman..I mean this in the most unloving way. Fuck off.”

“You wound me Frost.” The man put a hand over his heart in mock heartbreak. The girl rolled her eyes again as Jake leaned closer. “But if I’m going to fuck anything, it’s you.”

Y/N could feel the smirk on Jake’s face without even facing him. The girl was used to being flirted with, Navy men could be pigs at times. Normaly, it didn’t phase her in the slightest but for some reason, when it came to Jake Fucking Seresin, she just couldn’t help the flutter she felt in her heart.

“In your dreams Seresin.” She managed to get out, desperately trying to hide the blush rising on her cheeks.

“Trust me darlin, it is.” He winked and walked out of the room. Leaving Y/N to let out the breath she didn’t even realize she had been holding. The only thing the girl knew for sure, is no one has ever made her heart race like he did.

All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you (ah, ah, ah)

All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting

My hands are shaking from all this (ah, ha, ha, ha)

The day was hot and that was putting it mildly. When you pair the sweltering California heat with the suffocating flight suit and heavy helmet, the weather felt like hell.

All Y/N wanted to do was get to the locker room and take a shower. The girl wanted it so bad she could imagine the shocking feel of ice cold water against her sweat covered skin. That thought alone brought a smile to her face. After a long day of stressful training, she just wanted to relax. Unfortunately for her, someone had other plans.

“We all know you are only in this program because your daddy pulled some strings. You can pretend otherwise but I know the truth.” The deep voice floats down the hall behind Y/N, causing the girl to turn around with a raised brow.

“Do you think you are the first person to have said that to me?” The girl crossed her arms, glaring at the man standing in front of her. She recognized him from around base. She couldn’t pinpoint exactly what he did here but in her defense, she had been too busy with training and class to meet many people other than her teammates.

“Probably not but it doesn’t make it less true. You don’t deserve to be here.”

“Listen fucker. I have had a rough day. I am hot, I am hungry, and I am tired. I do not need to stand here and justify myself to some dip shit who decided to share his opinion with the class. Just walk away.”

The man smirked and stepped closer to Y/N, forcing her back towards the cold beige wall as she moved to step away from him. His grimy hands reached out and stroked the girl's cheek. “I think you just need to be taught a lesson, maybe put that dirty mouth to work on something else.”

“You son of a bit-”

“Is everything alright here?” That familiar voice rings out, causing Y/N to turn her head towards the tall figure walking in her direction.

“Yeah man, me and my girl were just chatting.” The shorter man, Y/N had mentally nicknamed douchebag said.

“Funny. Doesn’t look like Frost is in the mood to chat with you.” Jake walked closer, physically moving douchebags hand away from the girl. “I also heard everything you said..if you’re going to talk shit, maybe make sure you don’t have an audience. I doubt you would want admiral Simpson or captain Mitchell to find out how you treat one of your coworkers. Sounds like grounds for dismissal to me.”

At Jake's words, douchebag pales, taking another step back. “Look I’m sorry I-”

“If I ever hear you talking about my friend again, I will personally make sure you never talk again. Frost is a better pilot than most of us, hell she is a better pilot than me. Now if you ever touch her again, I will leave you so unrecognizable, your mother won’t be able to identify the body. Get the hell out of here before I show you I’m serious.” Jake growled out the words and the other man ran off. Letting out a breath, Jake turned towards the girl and calmed down. “You alright Frosty?”

“I could have handled that prick.”

Jake smirked at the girl and tilted his head. “You know, a thank you would suffice.”

Y/N sighed and looked up at Jake. “Thank you Hangman.”

“Anything for you darlin. Only I am allowed to taunt you.” He trailed his green eyes down her face, taking in every feature until he stopped at her soft lips.

“My knight in shining armor.” The girl meant to be sarcastic but the words came out in no more than a soft breath, her own gaze going to Jake’s lips. “You said I’m a better pilot than you.”

“Did I?” Jake said softly, brushing some hair out of the girl's face as the two drifted towards each other, lips almost touching until a bang of a door had them jumping away from each other.

“There you are Frosty, I’ve been looking for you all day. Let's go get lunch.” Rooster made his way over, throwing an arm around his best friend, oblivious that he just ruined the moment. “Hangman.” He nodded at the blonde and led the girl out, talking her ear off about god knows what.

Y/N couldn’t focus on a thing Rooster said as she glanced back at the man she left alone in the hall. Her eyes connected with his green ones, the look in them so intense and full of longing, she had to look away.

Say my name and everything just stops

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

“Hangman, hottie checking you out at 12 o’clock.” Coyote said, interrupting Y/N’s thoughts as the girl stared at the cold beer in her hand. The dagger squad had decided to utilize their day off with a trip to The Hard Deck. The group hadn’t been there long before practically all of the women (and some men) in the bar started giving suggestive looks to the team. Y/N really couldn’t blame them. Everyone on her team was unnaturally attractive.

“Oh trust me Coyote. I saw her. And I think the lady looks thirsty, maybe I should fix that.” Jake smirked and walked over to his admirer.

Y/N tried desperately not to stare at them but she just couldn't look away. The brunette's hand, resting on Jake's arm as she gave him a flirty smile. Y/N didn’t need to see Jake's face to know he was eating this up.

Y/N couldn’t understand why she felt a pang in her chest at seeing him flirting with someone else. It’s not much of a secret that Jake is a flirt. And it’s not like she had any sort of relationship with Jake other than friendenemies, if you can even call it that.

“Frost there is a cutie staring at you too.” Phoenix spoke up, grabbing Y/N’s attention away from Jake. The girl followed the direction Phoenix was looking in and sure enough, a tall dark haired man shot her a wink. “Go get him to buy you a drink.” Phoenix smirked and helped the girl up.

Sucking in a breath, Y/N put on her best confident smile and walked towards the man.

“Hello gorgeous. Sorry for staring, I just couldn’t look away from you.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling.” Y/N said softly.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“Sure, I’d like that.” Y/N gave the man a genuine smile and sat down at the bar next to him.

The conversation was pleasant enough. The man who Y/N learned was named Greg, made her laugh. But the same gnawing feeling ached within her..he was kind, funny, handsome even. But he was no Jake.

“Would you like to dance Y/N?” Greg smiles brightly, holding his hand out while his blue eyes sparkled under the bar lights.

“Sure.” Y/N finished off her beer and walked towards the jukebox with Greg, his hands resting on her hips while she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m a horrible dancer so this swaying is the most you’re getting out of me.” The girl laughed softly.

“I’ll take anything you’re willing to give me as long as I can hold you this close.” Greg smiled and pulled her closer to him, his eyes drifting down to her lips.

Y/N could tell Greg wanted to kiss her and maybe a part of her wanted him to. But, every urge the girl felt to make a move with Greg, she felt a more intense one to run towards Jake.

It was a stupid ache that she couldn’t shake and the most infuriating thing about it was she didn’t understand why. Most of the conversations Y/N and Jake had were them taunting each other. When did taunting turn into more for her and does Jake feel the same? She doubted it by the way he had flocked to the first pretty girl to bat her eyes at him. That thought alone made her move towards Greg and pull back from her Jake filled thoughts.

“You can kiss me Greg.” The girl said softly, looking at his lips. Greg didn’t need to be told twice. He leaned in slowly, trying to savor the moment and right as their lips were about to touch, that familiar honeyed voice Y/N has grown to crave, rang out next to her.

“Frosty.”

Y/N pulled back slowly, turning towards Jake. “I’m a little busy here Hangman.”

“Yeah, I see that.” Jake said flatly, not sparing a glance at Greg. “I was just wondering if your little dance partner knew about your extremely high risk job and the ramifications of dating a pilot. Especially a pilot like you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Y/N gritted her teeth and looked up at him.

Greg looked between you both and moved his hands off your hips. “Look, you’re great Y/N. Really great, but I don't want to get involved in the middle of this.” He motioned between the two pilots. “It was nice to meet you, thank you for a fun night.” He kissed her cheek and walked off.

“What the hell was that?!” Y/N turned to Jake, anger burning in her eyes.

“I was just trying to stop you from making a mistake, Frosty. You can do better than that guy.”

“You don’t know a thing about him. God, that’s not even an opinion for you to have! You just wanted to be an ass per usual and ruin my night. Well great fucking job Hangman, you succeeded so you can run back to your new lady friend and leave me the hell alone!” The girl stormed out the bar doors, anger coursing through her so strongly, she was shaking.

Unbeknownst to her, Jake followed her right out those doors. He wasn’t about to let her leave when she was so angry.

“Y/N.”

“Please Jake just go inside and leave me alone.” Y/N turned away from him, wiping the tears off her cheeks that were now freely flowing from her eyes.

Everything was just too much. Too much disappointment, too much heartbreak, and too much yearning for something she couldn’t have.

“Y/N.” Jake gently put his hand on her shoulder, turning the girl to face him. “I’m sorry I ruined your night darlin. That was not my intention.”

“No? Then what was your intention Jake because I do not understand.” Y/N wiped the last of her tears away and looked up into Jake’s green eyes. “I don’t understand any of this.”

“I was jealous.”

“Jealous? Jake, what are you talking about? You are the one who went to flirt with that gorgeous girl!”

“No, I didn’t. I bought her a drink, told her I appreciate her interest but it would never work out with us because I am crazy about someone else! I told her I knew another wonderful man she would like and introduced her to Bob! They are still in there talking if you don’t believe me. I wanted to talk to you! I wanted to flirt with you! And I wanted to dance with you but when I found you, some other guy was trying to kiss you and it drove me crazy!”

All the breath left Y/N when she saw the sincerity in Jake’s eyes. Jake gently cupped the girls cheek, wiping away any stray tears. “I only want you darlin, and it drives me absolutely mad. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. All I can do is think about you and it has been that way since I met you.”

“Since you met me?” The girl gave him an amused smile.

“Oh yeah.” Jake flashed her his toothy grin. “Apparently you telling me to fuck off really got me hooked on you.”

Y/N laughed and moved closer to Jake. “Well apparently your asshole ways worked on me too. I didn’t want him, I just wanted a distraction from you.”

“I’m going to kiss you now Darlin.”

“Please do Jake.”

Jake wasted no time. He pulled the girl flush against him and connected their mouths. His lips warm against hers, breathing each other in with the intensity of the kiss. At that moment, there was no such thing as enough. The couple couldn’t get close enough, couldn’t kiss hard enough. Couldn’t get enough of each other.

Soon Jake had Y/N pressed against his truck, her dress riding dangerously high up on her thigh. Jake pulled back from the kiss just enough to whisper against the girl's now puffy lips. “I love this fucking dress on you. It’s been killing me all night.”

“Good.” Y/N whispered back. “I bought it for you.”

Jake groaned and played with the hemmed edge of her red sundress. “Let me take it off.”

“Fuck, yes please.” The girl groaned and moved a hand into his hair.

Jake opened the back door to his truck and set the girl inside gently before hovering over her. He pushed the skirt up to her hips, exposing a pair of lace panties. Jake groaned when he noticed the wet spot, darkening the blue lace. “Fuck darlin, did I make you this wet?”

“Yes Jake, only you.” Y/N moaned as the man ran his finger over her clothed slit.

Jake looked down at the girl, a smirk plastered on his face. “All mine pretty girl. You’re all mine.”

“Yours.” Y/N breathed, looking into his love filled green eyes. “I’m all yours.”

Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try

And if I get burned, at least we were electrified

I'm spilling wine in the bathtub

You kiss my face and we're both drunk

Everyone thinks that they know us

But they know nothing about

The temperature outside was getting increasingly warmer and Y/N’s father, Iceman decided to have the dagger squad over for a pool party. The older man wanted to meet her team and more importantly, the man who had stolen his daughter's heart.

Y/N never openly told her parents about her new boyfriend but they knew her well. Especially her father. He saw the way the girl's eyes lit up whenever she talked about a certain pilot and he couldn’t help but want to know more.

The devastating reality was that he didn’t have much time left. But, with what he did have, he wanted to make sure his daughter was putting her faith in the right people. Iceman was no stranger to the egos aviators could have and his little girl had worked her ass off to get where she was. She had proven herself to be more than just her last name. He had to make sure that this Hangman had no intention of hurting her. The other part of him was just genuinely curious. He had never seen her act this way about a boyfriend before.

For a short time when Y/N was growing up, Iceman thought maybe her childhood friend Bradley Bradshaw could be the one. He changed his mind when he saw that the two were better in a platonic way. Sometimes even referring to each other as brother and sister.

“Dad, can I get you another drink?” Y/N walked outside to where Iceman was sitting with Rooster.

“No, I’m alright sweetheart.” He smiled softly at his daughter.

“If you’re offering, I’ll take another beer.” Rooster spoke up.

“I don’t remember offering you one Roos but fine. Because I’m in a good mood.” She teased and walked back to the kitchen to grab herself and Rooster a drink.

Iceman turned to Rooster after he made sure Y/N had left. “Tell me about this Hangman I keep hearing about.”

“Hangman? Why do you want to know about him?” Rooster finished off the rest of his current beer and looked at Iceman “Wait..Hangman is Frosty’s mystery man?”

“It seems that way. I can tell by the way she talks about him.”

“I should have seen that coming with the way those two teased each other.” Rooster leaned back in his chair and sighed. “If you asked me a few months ago I would tell you he was the worst. But he has changed. Especially around her. I thought it was just because they had been flying together more. Obviously that's not it.” Rooster pushed the aviators up his nose. “He has an ego, but, he’s kinda like young Mav from the stories you’ve told me. He likes to push limits and always be the best but he is reliable at the end of the day, if they really are together, he’d do anything for her. I know he would. You know I love Frosty and if I thought he’d hurt her, well I’d be trying to drown him in the pool when he gets here.”

“I might have just let you.” Iceman smiled slightly, sipping his iced tea.

“Frosty can handle herself and I trust Hangman with her. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“Glad to hear what?” Y/N walked over, claiming one of the empty chairs at the table while she handed Rooster his beer.

“Nothing sweetheart.” Ice smiled and looked towards the kitchen. “Does your mother need any help?”

“Nope, Phoenix and Bob have taken over the kitchen with her. Mom also said and I quote. “If your father tries to get up and help me instead of relaxing, I will wack him on the head.” I think it’s safe to assume she wants you to stay sitting today.”

Iceman laughed softly and nodded. “I love that woman.”

“I know you do, dad.” Y/N smiled and put her hand over his, occasionally glancing towards the front door, waiting for that familiar blonde to show up.

“Looking for someone?” Rooster smirked and nudged Y/N’s arm.

“No..why are you both being weird?”

“No reason.” Rooster smirked again and sipped his beer, sharing a glance with the older man.

“Okay you are being very cryptic today Roos. It’s weird. Knock it off..” Y/N trailed off when she heard the sweet sound of that southern draw she loved so much. “Hangman is here.” She stood quickly and walked to greet him. She thought she was being sneaky with her emotions, but her father did not miss the sparkle of absolute love in her eyes.

All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you (ah, ah, ah)

All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting

My hands are shaking from all this (ah, ha, ha, ha)

“You’re here.” Y/N smiled, walking into the living room where Jake stood with her mother.

“Course I am Frost. I’d never say no to a party and I’m very eager to meet your parents.” He smiled at Y/N and turned to her mother “I brought these for you mam, as a thank you for having me in your home.” He held up the small bouquet of flowers he had meticulously picked out before coming over.

“Oh that is so sweet! Thank you Jake. Please make yourself at home and let me know if you need anything.” She started walking towards the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase but turned back to her daughter before reaching the room. ‘I like him’ she mouthed, causing Y/N to blush and turn back to the man in front of her.

“So you are on a first name basis with my mom already. Impressive.”

“What can I say? Ladies find me charming. And Sarah is a peach.” He flashed her a grin and brushed his hand against hers. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too Jake. Thank you for coming..I mean it.”

“Honey you know I wouldn’t miss this, it’s important to you.” He took her hand and kissed it gently. “I will admit, I am slightly nervous to meet your father.”

“Oh yeah? That’s adorable.” She smirked up at him.

“I am adorable, it’s a known fact.” Jake smirked and pinched her hip with his free hand. “So are you going to show me your childhood bedroom? I am excited to see it..do you have boy band posters?”

“Shut up Jake.” She laughed softly. “Rooster is outback with my dad. I think Coyote made his way out there too. I’ll grab you a beer and we can go out there?”

“Sounds perfect pretty girl.” He kissed her cheek gently and walked outback with her after stopping to get him a beverage.

“Dad this is Jake Seresin, callsign Hangman. He’s a part of my squad and…my boyfriend.” She cleared her throat and looked around at everyone who had joined them outside.

“Boyfriend? Since when?!” Phoenix whispered to Bob who shrugged behind them.

“Since our night at The Hard Deck Phoenix. You didn’t notice?” He whispered back.

“But that was almost a month ago…” She mumbled.

“It’s an honor to meet you sir.” Jake ignored his friends surprise and held his hand out with a smile.

“You as well son. I have heard some incredible things about you.” Iceman took his hand and shook it, motioning to an empty chair with his other hand.

“Are you bragging about me darlin?” Jake grinned and looked at Y/N, taking a seat at the table.

“Absolutely not, your ego does not need to get any bigger.” Y/N playfully scoffed and took her own seat by him.

“It’s cute that you’re impressed by me. I’m impressed by you too.” He grinned and took her hand, kissing it softly.

Iceman watched the way Jake held her hand so tenderly and looked at Y/N with the same love sick expression the girl had shown for him earlier. It was clear to her father from that moment he truly had nothing to worry about. Jake Seresin was in love with his daughter and she was in love with him.

Say my name and everything just stops

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

The bright sun had faded into warm hues of orange and pink, reflecting off the crisp blue pool water as Y/N leaned against Jake. The man’s hand played with her fingers as he held her close, absolutely at peace.

“Jake?”

“Yes baby?”

“Are you happy?” The girl turned in his arms gently, looking into his gorgeous green eyes.

“Are you kidding me? Of course I’m happy. I have you.” He brought a hand up and cupped her cheek gently. “Why are you asking?”

“I don’t know. This all just feels too good to be true. Today was great and I’m slightly convinced this is a dream. It could be all the alcohol though.”

Jake let out a soft chuckle and pinched the girl's hip, causing her to pout at him. “Not a dream darlin. This is real.” He leaned his head down and kissed her once. “This is all I have wanted for years. Even when we were stationed apart. I craved you. I knew even then that I wanted you to be mine. I plan on putting a ring on this finger someday Y/N. That is how crazy I am about you.” He took her hand again and kissed her ring finger.

“You’re going to make me cry.” Y/N laughed softly and leaned her head on his.

Jake chuckled and kissed the girl’s hand once more. “One day. I promise.”

“One day.” Y/N smiled widely and kissed both of Jake’s cheeks. “I should go see if my mom needs help with the dishes.” Y/N slowly moved out of Jake's arms. “Do you want anything else to drink?”

“I’m alright darlin.” He smiled and kissed her hand before letting her go, unaware of Iceman making his way over.

“I’ve never seen her this happy before.” Iceman said and took a seat next to Jake. “Thank you for making her smile like that. It makes me feel better knowing she will have you.”

“You don’t have to thank me for loving her. I couldn’t help it even if I wanted to. She is the most wonderful woman I have ever met.”

Iceman smiled and patted Jake’s arm. “She is wonderful. But you still chose to be there for her every day. It means a lot to me and my wife. You are exactly the type of man I was hoping she would end up with.” Iceman sighed softly. “I don’t have much time left son. I know my family will be devastated which breaks my heart more than I can express, but when it comes to Y/N, I am worried. She shuts down. She pushes people away when she needs them most, she has done it since she was a child. I’m not sure if it makes her feel protected or if she thinks she needs to heal alone but I don't want that for her. Do not let her push you away. She needs you, and son, I can tell you need her too. Promise me?”

Jake turned to Iceman and swallowed down his emotion, eyes shining with unshed tears.

“I promise sir.”

“Thank you. You’re a good man Jake Seresin.” Iceman smiled and patted his shoulder again.

“I-I know this is a bit premature but I fully intend on marrying your daughter one day sir. Maybe I am a bit old fashioned but I think it is respectable to get your permission first.”

“You have it son.” Iceman smiled warmly and stood slowly. “Now if you’ll excuse me, all this talk about love has me missing my wife.” The older man made his way inside to find his wife as Jake watched, hoping one day this would be him and Y/N.

Flashback when you met me

Your buzzcut and my hair bleached

Even in my worst times

You could see the best of me

Flashback to my mistakes

My rebounds, my earthquakes

Even in my worst lies

You saw the truth in me

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline

I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My hands shake, I can't explain this ah, ha, ha, ha

Y/N has barely spoken a word since she got the news. Now, standing next to her mother and siblings, staring at her fathers casket, she feels like she may never speak again. The air around them holds solemn tension as people mourn. Tears fall but it’s nothing but quiet for the man being laid to rest.

As the flag is being folded and the trumpets are playing, Y/N absentmindedly pinches her arm, desperately trying to wake up from this nightmare. She had just talked to her father last night, they made plans. The reality of him being gone just seemed too unreal for Y/N to fathom.

It wasn’t fair. Nothing about this was remotely fair and it drove Y/N crazy. Her father was one of the most caring and wonderful people she had ever had the luck of knowing. He didn’t deserve this.

Tears fell down her cheeks and Y/N let them flow freely. The girl felt numb and something as simple as wiping them away felt impossible. She felt heavy, wondering if the crowd around her could tell she was dying inside.

“Y/N, can you hear me?” The words broke through the surface of her numbness, bringing the girl back to the present as she looked up to Maverick standing in front of her.

“Sorry..I’m sorry.” She said softly and wiped her tears quickly.

“Don’t apologize. You just lost your father..I know how that feels and if you need anything, you know you can talk to me.” Maverick rubbed the girl's arm gently.

“Thank you Uncle Mav. I’m going to be okay..they need me to be.” She breathed out, looking towards her crying mother.

“Y/N, you do not need to be strong for anyone right now.”

“I’m fine Mav.” She snapped and sighed in regret. “I’m sorry..”

“It’s okay sweetheart.” Mav hugged her softly, only letting go when he noticed Jake and Bradley approaching. The tallest of the pair pulled Y/N into his arms tightly, whispering comforting things into her hairline while the girl stayed stiff, drifting back into the heavy waters.

Jake noticed almost immediately and patted Bradley’s shoulder. “Can you give us a minute Rooster?”

Bradley nodded slowly and let the girl go. “I’m going to check on your mom but if you need me, just yell.” He kissed her head and led Mav over to the girl's family.

Jake cupped the girl's face gently, wiping away some stray tears. “Hi baby”

Y/N looked up at Jake, bottom lip wobbling as she felt overwhelming tears coming. “Will you take me home? Please?”

“Of course baby. Whatever you need.”

“I can’t have what I need.” The girl whispered out, her gaze floating towards the casket once again.

Days passed in a blur and Y/N was merely surviving.

She stuck to her routine. Eat, when she could stomach it. Sleep, when she could turn her mind off. Work, when she wasn’t grounded, which was all the time lately. People were worried about her. From Admiral Simpson, to Maverick, to the dagger squad, they did not want the girl in the air.

The person who was most worried, of course, was Jake. He could see her pulling away, closing herself off and trying to heal on her own just like Iceman had warned him would happen.

He had been staying at the girl's place for over a week just to keep an eye on her. Jake didn’t push her at first. He gave her some time to digest everything while he watched from the distance, making sure she didn’t drift too far into herself. But he saw her getting pulled under the surface of those internal waves. He could see her drowning. And enough was enough.

“Frosty, darlin, I made your favorite for dinner.” Jake called out while walking towards the living room where the girl was seated on the couch.

“I’m not hungry Jake.”

“You haven’t eaten anything all day Y/N. Just come take a few bites. I won’t be offended if you don’t finish it all. I do have to warn you though, I am an excellent cook.” He sat on the couch by her and put a hand on her knee gently.

“I said I’m not hungry!” Y/N snapped and stood quickly, his hand falling from her knee.

“Y/N..I’m just trying to help.”

“Well I don’t need your help Jake. I am a grown woman and I can take care of myself. Just go home. Please!”

“No.” Jake said quickly and stood.

“No? This is my apartment!”

“I’m well aware Y/N but I am not leaving you like this. I am not letting you push me away because you think that is easier. I promised your father I wouldn’t let that happen.”

“You w-what?” Y/N looked up at Jake, tears building up in her sore eyes.

“He made me promise because he knew you well. I told him I would not let you self-destruct and I am keeping that promise.”

“Well you’re off the hook now, he’s dead so he’ll never know! “

“God damnit Y/N.” Jake stepped closer to her and took both her hands in his. “Even if I didn’t make that promise I would still be here taking care of you.”

“Why?”

“Why? Why am I here for you? Because I love you Y/N! I want to be here for you. I want to hold you and take care of you. I want to bring you back to yourself because this is not you. You are mourning and that is understandable but you are barely living right now. You haven’t called your mom back in days. Your mother who you used to talk to every damn day. Fuck, Y/n, you have Cyclone worried that is how messed up you are right now. So please, if you can’t do this for yourself, do it for everyone who loves you including your dad because I know he is watching over you. Let me help you heal.”

“I miss him.” Y/N broke down in sobs, gripping the man's shirt for support.

“I know sweetheart. I know.” He pulled her into his arms and rubbed her back.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Y/N.” He kissed her head gently.

“I love you so much Jake.” She clung to him as he let her sob. Body shaking, gut wrenching sobs. But Jake never let go.

Say my name and everything just stops

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Three months later and Y/N was feeling like her old self again. She had reconnected with her teammates, spent time with her family, and was even flying again. The pain of losing her father had not left completely. The absence of him was still very much felt, but the pain wasn’t crippling anymore. She had a life to live and she knew Iceman would want her to make the most of it.

Tonight in particular was special. The dagger squad was currently occupying most of The Hard Deck, celebrating a successful mission. Music was loud, drinks were flowing, and the company was comforting.

Y/N felt at home among her found family. She sang along with Rooster when he played Great Balls of Fire, like he always does. She danced with Bob, beat Javy at pool with Phoenix, and was smiling so much, her face hurt.

After all of the sorrow and heartbreak, this was what she needed. By the end of the night, the girl was feeling lighter than she had in months. Jake noticed it too. He could see the sparkle in her eyes, the light in her smile. It pulled on his heart, just making him fall more hopelessly in love with her.

“You’re staring at me honey. It’s getting weird now.” Y/N approached Jake and handed him a fresh beer.

“I can’t help myself darlin. You’re stunning.” He put a hand on her lower back and pulled her to him.

“My, my Hangman. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were smitten.”

“Baby I am hopeless when it comes to you. Head over heels, willing to do some embarrassing stuff to prove my love to you kind of hopeless.”

The girl tipped her head back and laughed softly, the sound music to Jake’s ears. “What kind of embarrassing stuff?”

“We’ll have to find out another day.” Jake kissed her nose.

Y/N laughed again, leaning into him. “I love you Jake.”

“I love you too Y/N.” He kissed her once and leaned his head on hers, pulling the girl ever closer than before.

Y/N looked up at him, eyes bright and smile wide. “You still want to marry me?”

“One day” Jake smiled down at the girl, wrapping his arms around her.

“One day.” Y/N smiled up at him, completely oblivious to the diamond ring burning a hole in Jake’s pocket.

There is an indentation in the shape of you

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

You made your mark on me, golden tattoo

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

#jake seresin x kazansky!reader #jake seresin x pilot!reader #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x reader smut #jake #jake seresin #jake hangman seresin #hangman #hangman x reader #hangman x reader fluff #hangman x reader angst #jake seresin x reader fluff #jake seresin x reader angst #jake seresin x female!reader #top gun 2 #top gun maverick #iceman top gun

554 notes · View notes

juvenillia · 6 months

Note

hey hi Jules! i love ur writing... dopom is simply amazing and i cant wait to see where the story is going now ❤️❤️

so i saw that ur kinda taking reqs so i wanted to ask what do u think how the 141 (+ Konig) would react to a reader who moved on from them? maybe a bit hurt/comfort yk

i hope ur fine with such a request, love ya ❤️

Hey there anon and sorry for coming back to your request that late, but tbh you request fitted my one shot for Ghost so damn perfectly that I wanted to finish that one beforehand so I could shamelessly promote it with your request another time, so thanks for your request and your love for DoPoM!! I love you!!! (that fic is my baby and I literally can’t wait to show you where the story will lead soon, atm I’m writing the big plot twist for the story but pssst)

Moving On [headcanon]

a/n: Maybe I got carried away, but I hope you still like it. Still I think it's not my best work. No matter what the reason of your breakup was, the man you love/d wasn’t happy about it. Still those men have really different ways to deal with the breakup and aftermath. In my head the obvious reason for the breakup would be that they want you to be happy, that they can’t bear the thought of the continuous angst and worry you must live through because of them. Maybe also a bit of jealousy, or maybe you decided to go because you couldn’t keep up with the longing and lonely nights anymore. Let’s be honest, dating one of those men would be heartbreaking and thrilling at the same time, you’d need nerves and patience like the soldier they are. It’s not for the weak.

tw/cw: slight mentions of suggestive content, toxic behavior, depression, guilt and more

Characters: Soap, Price, Ghost, Gaz, König

》Master Post《

Johnny – Patience/Eagerness – Would simply not stop being your partner. Yes, you broke up, but why should he leave your side? He denies the thought that you don’t need him because he knows you do. He’ll make sure to show you that you are indeed in no need of any other man than him in your life. Will keep referring to you as his significant other anywhere he goes. Will keep the cute polaroid of you in the pocket of his tactical vest. You need someone to help set up your new ikea bed in your new flat? He’ll be there in no time to lend a helping hand. You try to turn his favors down, but he reminds you anytime: “We’re still friends bonnie, aren’t we?” and he’s right. You couldn’t just shove him out of your life, he means too much to you after the years spent with him. And don’t let me get started of the idea that you’d go out with a new man and the date went horribly wrong. Johnny would make sure to lend you a shoulder for you to cry on. Stroking your hair, reassuring you that no matter what he would never leave your side. Not pushing you to far out of your comfort zone. Maybe he starts to accept that you both are simply friends now, very close friends. But anytime he asks you about your latest attempt to date someone new and you tell him how bad that guy treated you, a new glimpse of hope is added to his heart that still is beating only for you. He would love to scream at you that if you’re willing to try he would be the man carrying you to the altar in no time. But he knows you need to see it for yourself that he still is the right choice for you and he’s willing to wait for you to open your eyes.

Price – Jealousy/Possessiveness – But not in the bad-bad way, only a so much that it’s still kinda attractive you know? This man will let you go because he knows it’s for the best, but he won’t leave your life. He is confident enough to think that you won’t find anything better than him. He shared everything with you, and he knows everything about you. You’re going out with your girls, he will be at the same bar, scaring away any man that only dares to look at you for too long. You will once a week get a bouquet of your favorite flowers with a little handwritten note. Nothing more than a little compliment like “Pretty flowers for the pretty Mrs.” and you know that handwriting too well. Anytime you manage to hook up with someone new, he would be there too. Catching your glance, walking past you with a little “That’s my replacement, love? You can do better than that…” Only mumbled so you’re the only one to hear it. He won’t force you into anything back but makes sure that whenever you try to forget about him, he’s right there to shove his presence back into your head and heart. He doesn’t ask you out, he wants you to come back to him. And after a long time, and many bad dates you eventually realize that you won’t get happy with a different man. So, when you get weak and crawl back to him, he’s going to make sure to show you how much he missed you, and that no man would make you feel like he’s able to. And believe me, he’s making sure you won’t leave another time.

Ghost – Anger/Guilt – He does understand why you left, always tells himself that you’re better off without him, still he feels so much anger inside of him. Anger aimed towards himself. He is angry that he couldn’t be the best version of himself around him. Angry that he couldn’t be the man you needed; you deserved, what sends him into a downward spiral of guilt. Guilty of everything you gave up for being with him, guilty about everything you invested into that relationship, just to break every string off. Just to discard you out of his life, because he knows better than anyone that you deserve better than him. Still, he feels the pure selfishness in wanting you back in his arms. He would straight forward tell you how he feels at this point. Knowing that he isn’t the best to talk about his feelings but knowing that he has to try his best to get you back. So expect something like “I would do anything to get ya back.” You were the only thing giving him a place looking forward to return to and finally rest, how could he give up to that? The only thing that convinces him to keep out of your life would be the realization that you really are happier with another person. And if you’re interested in that even more I recommend reading 》 happier 《 my one-shot about that exact storyline.

Kyle – Grief/Shock – Can’t handle the breakup and is devasted. He locks himself up, doesn’t talk with anyone about it. He wouldn’t try to talk you into staying with him, because he loves you too much to try to force something on you. His mind is always circling around all the things that might have prevented that outcome. Everything eats him up. He leaves your life without a trace for you to take. Not wanting to get in your way. Still, he makes a private fake Instagram account to still be able to have an insight of your life. When he notices that you started dating a new man his heart breaks again. The last bits of hope for a shared future shattered into million pieces. You were his person, there won’t be anything he could do about it. Nothing could convince him otherwise, but he sees that you seem happy with the new guy, so he learns to live with the pain in his chest. Is laying between the memories you shared and will always hold onto them. Maybe at some point found the courage to tell you, that he’s happy for you new relationship and that he is still grateful for everything you went through with him. But he really didn’t expect an invitation for your wedding to land in his mail. Still, he goes, because he knows it makes you happy. Seeing you in the white dress, kissing your now husband, it really makes him tear up, still he’s forcing a smile onto his lips as he tells you, that he can’t stay long because of duty. You gave him a quick hug, thank him for his coming with the same sweet smile he fell in love back then. “I missed that smile a lot.” He admits and leaves your life completely afterwards. Still, the sight of you in that dress haunts him at night, knowing that you’ll never be his.

König – Denial/Pity – Hear me out, I do believe he would straight up say no. Like you tell him you want to break up with him and he is just like. “Aber nein, mein Mäuschen [Well, no, my little mouse] You don’t want that.” You are not allowed to leave him, sure he is reasonable and will talk things out with you, but you won’t be able to leave him so easily. Promising that he’ll do better, that he’ll change. He knows you better than anyone and will try everything to keep you in his life. You’d need to leave him when he’s deployed, the only time he couldn’t hold you back. So, when at someday you’re out with a new guy he finally steps in. Wrapping his arm around your waist, glaring at the man in front of you. “Do you really thought I’d let you go?” he mocks and strokes your side gentle. He sees how you still melt under his touch, because he knows that he had ruined you for any other man. He knows that you only wanted him, so he openly shows his pity for that poor guy that never really had a chance in the first place. But also, the pity he feels when he sees how hard you try to move on from him. He would never deny your desire, so he takes you back and reassures you once more, that he loves you and that you don’t need to leave him. That he will always come back to you, no matter what. You’re his reason he fights and survive.

#cod mw x reader #cod x reader #task force 141 #simon riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #soap x reader #price x reader #gaz x reader #ghost x reader #könig x reader #konig x reader #john price x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #task force 141 x reader #cod headcanons #cod brainrot

183 notes · View notes

loremaster · 27 days

Text

happy birthday to the guy i've been drawing nonstop for the past several months - here's proof!!! he's a lot of fun to draw!

vivia is also a very important character to me for very personal reasons... (cw: family death)

it didn't take long for me to realize he was gonna be my favorite character in the game - seeing him lounging in places he shouldn't be cracked me up, and so did his morbid catchphrase... i totally related to his autistic tendencies, and his eagerness to dwell on depressing philosophical thoughts. i especially love and relate to his love for literature and literary analysis, especially because my eighth grade english teacher was my dad, who introduced me to so many of what are now my favorite books, and showed me how to look closer into what makes them so good. his story structure classes were unforgettable.

my dad passed away in 2020 and i've been going through fluctuating stages of grief since. it ebbs and flows but never really leaves. a lot of my art and stories from the past 3+ years have been ways to process and try to heal from that trauma (especially my pokemon sword nuzlocke comic, which i'm hoping to finish this summer)

so seeing the strange way vivia deals with death - in general, and the death of a loved one - fascinated me and destroyed me. i've spent many nights curled up in bed sobbing myself to sleep thinking about the heartbreak he goes through in the story, the regrets, the destructive cycle of grief, the depths of the emotions he feels in such a unique way (he's so desensitized he never cries once in the whole game!) and the ways he is able to start to grow and heal from it afterwards.

exploring the queer romantic angle of vivia's character arc is also so so so important to me, not only because i'm a queer person who's wanted to tell queer stories since i was a teen, but because my dad was also a queer person, who didn't get to come out as bisexual until the tail end of his too-short life. i know he connected to a lot of the same Boys In Love stories that I did, and i wish we'd had the opportunity to explore that common ground further. but since i can't, all i can do is the next best thing - making art about it and inspired by it. i think my dad would really like vivia and the stories i've been trying to tell about him. (harold and maude was one of his favorite movies - and if you're a vivia fan and you've never seen it GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW. suicidal teen forms an unlikely friendship with a cheerful old lady. you will cry your eyes out. you will want to LIVE)

so, i guess... thanks kodaka for making this specific character that spoke so deeply to me at this specific time in my life and letting me use him as a vehicle to process my own grief in the gayest ways possible. and happy birthday veeva <3

#rain code #master detective archives #mdarc #vivia twilight #abcd art #also a personal story about queer grieving

147 notes · View notes

sunofpandora · 1 month

Text

Virago: Chapter 3 part 3

Neteyam x fem na’vi!omaticaya!reader

Characters:

Ka’lik- (like you would pronounce “Malik”) Y/n’s father, deceased, a warrior and hunter of the

omaticaya clan. A teacher to young warriors undergoing iknimaya.

Zensira-deceased, Y/n’s mother, spider's adoptive mother, a strong hunter and the best singer in the omaticaya clan, and a teacher to young hunters.

Kailo-(Y/n’s ikran. Your ikran is a male)

Popiti-(tuk’s best friend according to the visual dictionary)

(Also idk how many of you know this but Jake’s ikran’s name is canonically ‘Bob’.)

(WARNINGS!

Sharing a sleeping hammock with the opposite gender (non-romantically)-

Neytiri hating on spider/ mentions of insecurities, heartbreak, war,/ fluff/ angst/ mentions of hunting, killing animals, mentions of therapy, military, ptsd, romance, pining, use of military terms/codewords/ Let me know if I missed anything.

Chapter desc:

Authors note:

Here we go! Chapter 3!! It feels insane to be posting the actual third chapter of this. But holy moly, building up romance is much harder than I thought. This chapter is a long one so grab your favorite snack, find a comfy spot and buckle up.

I have a small request for my lovely virago readers, please comment on your favorite line, moment, quote, or dynamic from this chapter. This is so I can know what kind of stuff you guys incline towards so I can throw more of it in as the story continues.

IMPORTANT:

hi guys. So I’ve decided to change spiders age from 20 to 19 for plot purposes. Jake and Neytiri are the same age. Tuk is still 7. Kiri is 19, neteyam is 19, Lo’ak and Y/n are 18.

Important!

This is part 3, the final part to chapter 3. Thank you for your patience!

V I R A G O

Chapter 3;

Surrender to his saubade, he has set his soul and sin ablaze (to be yours)

Part 3 (final part to chapter 3)

Y/n’s pov-

☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆

(Still Neteyams POV)

Night hunts were a normality for our clan. Especially the ones led by my father.

I stood in the tent, slipping on my arm guards as I prepared myself to join my group on our ikran for the hunt.

I started Mentally checking off everything I needed.

Water flask, ionar (riders mask.), and-

I just can’t seem to focus.

All I can think about is y/n and how I’m going to speak to her after this hunt.

Kiri is right. I don’t deserve her. And maybe I never will.

I especially don’t deserve to call her mine.

And that’s okay. I can settle for just having her in my life. That’s enough.

But that’s a lie. I know it deep down.

It was never about sex or the physicality of it. I could love her my whole life and never touch her.

Would I go insane? Probably.

But could I do it? Definitely.

Settling for distance is my sacrifice. Distance is safe. Distance will keep her safe. It’ll keep me sane.

Well, that last part was a lie.

It’s a glass half full at this point. I told Kiri I only wanted us to be friends again. Normal, average friends.

That’s not what I want. I can keep trying to compartmentalize this for the rest of my life but I’ll always live with this ache. This void in my heart that only fits her shape.

Sacrifices. Sacrifices. Sacrifice-

“Neteyam?”

I snap out of my daze; turning around to see my mother standing in the entrance way to our hut.

“Are you ready yet, ma’itan?

Lo’ak waits outside for you.”

I shook my head, chuckling awkwardly.

“Ah. Sorry. I got a bit…distracted.

It’s nothing, mother. I’ll be out in just a moment.”

She nods, taking a step closer.

“I wanted to give you something before you leave.”

I turn to face her, my eyebrows raised a bit.

“Oh? Alright.”

She reached behind her back, holding out a small pouch, long and thin tied by a string in a roll.

I open it slowly, knowing whatever was inside was of great value.

Inside laid about 8 newly made arrows. The wood carved for the shaft still fresh in scent and the feathers for the fletching too soft to have been reused.

It’s the color that peaks my eye. The all-too familiar green and yellow shades.

“Your arrows?”

She nods, a look that can only be described as prideful as she gazes at me.

“I want you to use them tonight.”

I shake my head. This was too much of a gesture. I haven’t done anything to deserve.

“Mother, they are beautiful. But I cannot-“

“Ma’itan.”

She cuts me off. Her tone devoid of any hostility or impatience.

“I was thinking about our talk the other night. About your father, and how he is harsh sometimes.

You know well by now what you are. Who and where you come from. You are your fathers son. You have his strength. You carry yourself much like he did in his days of battle. and you must understand that scares him.”

I’m quiet as her words sink in. She places a hand on my shoulder. Her eyes of a golden hue that mirror my own.

“He is not ready to see his son fight his battles or wear his colors. Your father has his own shadows he has yet to face. If you cannot yet wear his colors..I want you to wear mine.”

She places the arrows in my hands, and I’m speechless.

She gently cups my face, her palm sliding down to my shoulder once again.

“You may use his weapons. You may speak his language. And you have grown up with his sky people ways.

But never forget, blood of the real warriors comes from us.”

She places two fingers atop her chest, right over her heart.

It breaks my soul to remember that one of my mother’s greatest fears is that we will forget the ways of a na’vi. That even the minimal amount of tech we use in our family circle, with the exception of my fathers gun, seems to threaten everything she knows.

I’m taller than my mother now. Only by a few inches. So I lean down when I go to hug her.

“Irayo, Sa’nok.”

(‘Thank you, mother.’)

I pull back, smiling at her.

“I hope with these, the winds of our ancestors fly with me tonight.”

She chuckles, taking a step back.

“They are with you. Always. No matter where you go. No matter where you are.”

There’s a comfortable silence before my mother sighs, and I put the arrows in the leather pouch that is attached to my ikran saddle for hunting.

“You should go. Your father is waiting with the others.”

I nod, putting on my ionar and finishing slipping on my arm guards.

I lean down, fastening the straps to my leg guards as well before grabbing the small satchel and making my way off.

“Neteyam- one last thing?”

I turn the moment my mothers voice reached my ears.

“Here.” She spoke softly.

I turn to see my mother holding up my beaded choker. The one worn by so many generations of warriors in our clan. I took it off a few days ago when Tuk wanted to re-braid my hair. last time, she kept getting my hair tangled with the clasp at the back of the necklace.

“Let me.”

Without another word, she turns me around by the shoulders, brushing my braids out of the way as she slips the necklace on me, tying the clasp properly to ensure it doesn’t fall while hunting.

She struggles for a moment, having to crane her neck to see properly.

“Curse you and your height.” She mumbles, and I can’t help but laugh.

Once she finishes, I kiss her on the cheek before speeding off.

I jog across the pathway, slinging my bow over my shoulder. The thick air of high camp resonating and weaving through the sounds of distant conversations and laughter.

I finally spot Lo’ak and Spider. Lo’ak stands with his bow around his torso, the string brushing his chest. Spider carries a basket of the arrows he and lo’ak made for y/n.

I pinch the back of lo’aks neck before slinging my arm around him.

“Ready for the hunt, baby bro?”

He hissed at me, shoving me away.

“This is bullshit. I fluke once. ONCE. And now dad won’t even let me fly my ikran for the hunt!”

Spider shrugs, as the three of us start walking to the large crevice cutting into the mountains of high camp, making a large entrance way and a stable spot to land and saddle up ikrans for coming or going.

“Look on the bright side. At least you get to go. Plus you’ll be with the direhorse squad with Norm.”

He pushes Lo’ak lightly to walk a bit faster.

Lo’ak grumbled something and speed-walked ahead of us.

Spider sets the basket down once we meet the meeting spot. The same place the clans war and hunting parties gather before a raid

Or a hunt.

Some other hunters start to swarm in. Carrying bows and arrows of their own, all talking amgonst one another.

Spider groans.

“Lo’ak. Look.”

He taps Lo’ak’s arm, not-so-subtly gesturing to Makeyo standing across from us, speaking with one of the other hunters.

Lo’ak fake gags, Spider glares and the both of them stare him down for a good 7 seconds.

An odd feeling settles itself in the more unwelcoming corners of my heart.

Like fingers trying to pry their way through a barrier.

Something tenses in me as I find myself staring at him too. Remembering how y/n spoke of him at dinner.

Makeyo a bit shorter than me. Only by a few inches. My hair is longer, his braids reaches his shoulders. Still taller than y/n though.

It’s only when I hear spider whispering I snap back to reality.

“Oh fuck. He’s coming over here. Don't make eye contact. Don’t make eye contact.”

Spider stares up, whistling as he shoves his hands behind him, leaning on a rock. Lo’ak fidgets with one of the arrows, both of them over exaggeratedly feigning to ignore Makeyo’s approaching figure.

He smiles at me, greeting us with an unhesitatingly proper formality.

“Neteyam. Lo’ak,”

He pauses for a moment, having to avert his eyes downward to notice spider.

“Ah, and..”

He struggles for a moment to recall spider’s name. Spider can only glare at the taller na’vi that somehow appeared even more intolerably annoying when he was being kind.

“Spider.” Spider mumbles, crossing his arms.

“Y/n’s brother.” I add, stepping in front of spider to try and distract Makeyo from the smaller human that looked like he was plotting a murder.

Makeyo nodded in recognition, smiling softly.

“Right. I assume y/n will be leading us tonight? As usual. She’s your fathers right hand man.”

“Woman.” I correct, with an unintentional edge delineating my tone. An almost crude enunciation of the word finds itself leaving my lips, making Makeyo still for a moment before chuckling.

“Of course. And what a woman she is..”

When did his face become so punchable?

Makeyo is someone that makes himself very difficult to hate.

Helpful, kind, smart, good with kids, the whole ordeal.

But I am no foreigner to a mask. Why? Because I wear one every single day of my life. Sometimes I wonder what Makeyo’s mask looks like. Or if he even wears a mask at all. Forever yearning to grasp such a thing that always seemed to evade you.

I bite my lip, my jaw tensing as my eyes graze over the expanse of his figure. Up then down.

Makeyo falters for a moment, but proceeds with an unhesitatingly sweetened glean in his eye.

“What I mean is, she is just amazing. Well, I don’t need to tell you that, of course. You’ve practically grown up with her.”

Something about the way he so shamelessly displays his simpering delusions of innocence in the form of this crush he has on y/n-

For lack of a better word, is really starting to piss me off. His bold assumptions of platonic love between me and y/n makes my tail flick.

And no, I’m not jealous. I’m not. Really. Yes, I am capable of violent impulses and of course, I do fantasize about punching his face every now and then, but that’s not jealousy. Is it? No. Of course it’s not.

Yeah, maybe I slightly envy the fact that he can love her so freely.

The way he could stand where he couldn’t see and hold her hand, unbothered by the absence of sunlight to compulsively provide promises of safety and sanctuary. Maybe I hate that he is unburdened by the weighted whispers of the elders and third eyes peskily pruning gazes at holding her hand. Maybe I hate that he spends almost all day with her. Watching her laugh, and interact so perfectly with the children of the clan.

Maybe I hated the way he had no history with her that resonates with soured feelings and broken promises. I envied his clean conscience.

But that’s not jealousy…of course not.

He’s called away to assist with some other task, and when I turn around Lo’ak and spider are quickly jogging in the opposite direction, towards the edge where an familiar red, purple, and blue ikran perches, with an even more familiar rider on his back.

Y/n smirks as she hops off of Kailo, the creature releasing an almost purr-like shrill as it rubs its chin against y/n’s cheek.

She chuckles, small luminous sparks leaking through the tops of the rocky stronghold flirting with her pulchritudinous smile.

She hums, gently petting the banshee’s neck.

“Mawey, pretty boy.”

I don’t really know why, but ‘pretty boy’ had an odd way of making my chest flutter. Even if I knew she was talking to her ikran.

She flips her braids over her shoulders. Y/n as always had a bit of a more effete-feel to her wardrobe. That of a warrior, of course. The strongly woven arm guards and her beaded cuff to tie her hair back when she flew, or hunted, always easily annoyed with her braids falling in her face.

The waist beads she wore, which were usually made by Kiri or my mother, were always a signature habit to herself.

She had quite a few scars, blemishes, and bruises that canvassed her skin. I find them beautiful. Like the patterns of the universe printed onto her skin.

Spider and Lo’ak fake saluted as y/n made her way towards them.

“Y/n, ma’am.”

Spider tipped his head ever so slightly, Lo’ak dramatically bowing, making her roll her eyes and laugh.

“At ease, boys.”

Lo’ak stands up straight again, slinging an arm around her shoulder and gesturing to spider.

“We made you something.”

Spider proudly holds up their basket of arrows.

There’s something indescribably tantalizing about the way she smiled at those two.

“Aw guys, you shouldn’t have..”

Spider scoffed, placing his hands on his waist.

“Please. It was our pleasure to assist the mighty archer.”

It’s a moment later when spider and Lo’ak run off to help norm, and I stand quietly behind y/n as she places the new arrows in her side saddle along with her bow.

“I’m assuming you were on babysitting duty? Supervising those two with the fire pit and sharp edges?”

She teased, nudging my shoulder. I chuckle back, shrugging.

“Of course. Someone has to prevent the children from running with their hunting knives.”

She shakes her head, another giggle tumbling past her lips.

“Tuk? Or Lo’ak and spider?”

I hum before leaning over a bit to stand a bit closer.

“Why not all of them?”

She laughs once again, and my palms feel warm for a moment.

I clear my throat, straightening my back a bit.

“Y/n. Can We talk abou-”

“Alright people let's get moving! Fall in and line up!”

I’m cut off by the sudden cannonade of my father’s voice. Y/n’s eyes widen a bit as it flickers to where he stood. Talking with uncle norm. She glances back at me, patting my back. “Later. Okay?”

I can’t even respond before she jogs over to my father, only stopping her dauntless strides when she pauses to fist-bump norm.

I follow suit with the other hunters in an almost feverish manner. Slinging my bow around my torso and finding a spot in the forming two long lines of other hunters and warriors beside Lo’ak.

“Let's move it people! We’re wasting the sunset! Oscar-Mike (move out), people, lets get it done!”

When the last few of the younger hunters scurry into line, my father stands tall in front of all of us, his arms crossed over his chest. Don’t be fooled by the brute build. He’s still the same man who stumbled into hometree all those years ago with a ‘good evening everyone’ and a ‘please don’t get up’.

He clears his throat bef0re he starts to speak.

“Good to see everyone turn up for tonight's hunt. This will be no different from training you’ve all had in the past, or currently undergoing.”

Some nod, others shift nervously on their feet.

Y/n approaches from behind my father. Her strides not faltering for even a second. Her chin titled high, looking us over with a gaze of a storm flooded a seafloor beneath a tideline. Y/n doesn’t get in line with us, no. Her place is beside my father. A leader.

spider perched behind her on one of the high ledges in the unevenly rocky stone walls of highcamp. One of his hands placed on her shoulder to keep himself from leaning forward too far.

My father continues.

“For those of you still training for your iknimiya, you will be on the ground team with Norm, and Awkey and the Olangi hunters will join us tonight. Stay in line with them. You will ride the pa’li on the perimeter of that narrow clearing in the middle of the grove. Understood?”

A few yips and grunts were heard from the younger na’vi, a few raising their bows and nodding their heads.

Father nods, turning back to face us again.

“Warriors. Those of you who have passed iknimiya and have ikrans will be in the sky. Bows on the ready, death from above.”

He takes a step back, gesturing to Y/n, who still stood in her place behind him.

“Y/n, my most trusted Archer, will be in command of the sky team. You are to stay within her flight patterns, and not go beyond what she sees as a fit perimeter. Follow her orders, and you might just learn something.”

Father finishes giving us our positions, and I stray from my assigned group, only for a moment. I walk towards the opening to the crevice, leaning down and making the bird call my mother taught me, pressing my lips together and releasing a high-pitched note of a sound.

The familiar flap of wings resonates in the air below me, and before I can blink, my ikran perches herself infront of me, making a soft shrill noise of her own. In all her glory, the green, brown, and yellow skin worn like a Hyde of the forest.

I pet her neck, adjusting the side saddle for my bow and tightening the neck reigns.

Rey’sa is what I named her.

Broken fragments of my mothers language stitched together. The meaning is a remembrance of Seze. My mothers first ikran. I had a toy ikran that was painted green, brown and blue, when I was around Tuk’s age. Y/n’s mother had gifted it to me when I was 7. Modeled after Seze even in color, my mother happily shed tears at the sight of the small wooden toy.

It’s been passed down. Me and Kiri played with it, then Lo’ak, then Tuk.

The toy is old and cracking now, the paint peeling away. I think love is holding it together. Tuk sleeps with the thing every night. I can’t imagine it’s very comfortable, though.

My iknimaya dodged the fateful curse of a chaotic, violence-craving ikran.

I’ve watched my brother and y/n almost die during their right of passage. Meanwhile, Rey’sa bucked me off maybe twice and it was over. Made the bond, had our first flight, the whole works.

I pet her neck, smoothing my palms over the leather skin one last time before I mount. My leg swinging over as I adjust the inner part of my thighs against the saddle.

I wait for my fathers signal.

☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆

Y/n’s pov:

Neytiri hated when Norm and Max joined the hunt. Or any hunt for that matter. Hunting was a sacred practice to na’vi. To take a life in such a delicate way it’s almost painless. She didn’t want the sky people’s ways to taint such a delicate tradition.

You walk over to where Norm and Max were packing some extra radios in the Samson seat packs, Norm checking all the controls as he whistled a tune to himself.

When you approach, his ears perk up, and he smiles. His usual tan colored vest and shorts fashioned securely to his avatar body.

“Hey kiddo.”

He gives you a hug, ruffling a few of your braids. Mex sits behind him, sitting on the benched ledge of the side entrance to the aircraft, giving you a thumbs up and a soft smile.

Norm sighs, taking a step back, his hands on his hips as he looks you over.

“Look at you. Growing into a brave warrior. Seems like only yesterday and you and spider were running around the lab.”

Norm and Max had been like family to you. Especially with your parents always accounting for Spider, they didn’t completely understand who to raise a human boy, Norm and Max were always there with extra breathing packs and masks. Plus, being a package deal with spider meant you hung out in the lab just as much as he did when you were little. Poking around at all the link beds and making norm play your stupid little games of tag, even pestering max. Sometimes, Max would let you use his glasses to look at different plants and leaves, because you loved the way things looked under the glass.

And sure, some na’vi mothers and fathers couldn’t possibly comprehend why such intelligent, well respected clan members like your parents would leave their daughter under the watch of two sky people. But it didn’t matter. Max and Norm fared well as babysitters.

You smiled at Norm, a small laugh leaving you.

“Well. Seems like your joining us on another hunt?”

Norm nods, adjusting the radio on his hip.

“Yup. I keep telling Jake the misses’ ain’t gonna be happy with us tagging along, but he says it’s for Safety. If anything goes wrong, if RDA wants to show up for another playdate.”

You nod, thinking about the attack awhile ago.

Your attention rechannels itself towards the smaller pale creature that emerges from behind a much taller Norm in his avatar body.

Spider blinks up at you through the sheet of glass that has acted as a blockade between you both ever since we were 2. Protecting him from the unwelcoming atmosphere of Pandora.

“Y/n.”

He huffs.

“Please inform Norm here that I’m old enough to drive the Samson.”

Max scoffed.

“It’s not about age, Junior. It’s about training.”

Spider rolls his eyes, gesturing to you with over dramatic movements.

“I’m 19. I’m too old to be hitching rides on my little sister's Ikran.”

Norm shrugged.

“Fine. You can start riding with me and Maya.”

Maya was Norm’s ikran. He told you it was named after someone from the past. Back in the first war.

Her name is Trudy. Jake told you that you reminded him of her sometimes. Same attitude and rebellious spirit. She piloted a Samson 16, and always called it ‘Maya.’ You admired that he named his own set of wings after someone’s dream of flying.

Spider shook his head.

“Or, let me at least have my own avatar. So I can pass Iknimaya, and get my own ikran!”

Norm nods, a sudden wave of enthusiasm. “Sure junior. Just put 40 million on the table and i’ll have your order ready in the next..hm..12 years?”

Spider groans, rolling his eyes.

You laugh at Norm’s sarcasm. Though, a part of you really did feel bad for Spider.

Norm and Max were called over to talk with Jake one last time before the group descended, leaving you and spider alone.

You sat next to Spider on the step up to the cockpit, rubbing his back.

“You know I love you no matter what size you are, right?”

Spider scoffs, his head tilting the opposite way.

“Gee. thanks.”

You chuckled, and he spared you a small smile.

He sighed, staring out at the na’vi hunters and warriors that mounted their ikrans, preparing to descend.

You could never imagine what it was like for Spider. Being born a human on a planet he couldn’t even breathe freely on.

Ideals formed under disillusion. The little, messy-loc’d pale boy you’d help paint blue as a child is no longer shielded from the pesky whispers and glares of your clan.

You don’t think its fair. You never did. And you even found it a bit hypocritical. Considering your clan’s never ending preachings for the value of nature, balance, and adaptation.

Spider has adapted to be just like your people. And he’s done a pretty fucking good job.

Your moment is interrupted by Norm, who jogs back with Max trailing behind him.

“We’re moving out! Y/n, you’re needed in the front. Spider, lets get moving!”

You nod, grabbing your bow and giving one last small glance to spider.

He smiles.

“Be safe. Please.”

You scoff.

“I’m always safe.”

With that, you mounted Kailo, and took to the skies.

☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆

Y/n’s pov

The wind whipped and wailed. The familiar sting of raw current against your cheeks was oddly soothing. Your team flew behind you. Neteyam, Makeup, a few others. Jake next to you, and Awkey below. The smaller group of Pa’li hunters maintain obedience in formation as the maddening rhythms of horse hooves assault the ground beneath you. The half-finished notes demand attention through the heavy thrumming melody.

“X, do you read me?”

Jake’s voice comes through your throat comm with a static quality. Struggling to maintain volume against the violent symphonies that crowded the night air.

You place two fingers on your comm, allowing your voice to cut through the mic.

“I read you.”

“Norm’s radars are picking up some heavy movement to the east. Take your squad and dive on down. I’ll catch up.”

“Roger that.”

You lift your bow, turning your head over your shoulder. Sending a call to your team, you start to dive further down beneath the canopy. They don’t hesitate to follow you, some even going as far to mimic your dive move.

You don’t have any words for what you see below on the muddied path.

You’ve been sturmbeest hunting before. Many times. But this..This was something you only imagined.

Sturmbeest in the most intense stampede imaginable, some even tripping and folding over one another. There doesn't seem to be even the smallest amount of space between them as they charge.

You made a signal for your team to disperse, some falling behind you or to the left side of the perimeter, keeping a close trail with the pa’li hunters. You saw lo’ak behind Awkey as he led them further down the sidelines. He looks just as shocked as you are.

Jake arrived on the scene not soon after.

His voice broke through your comm again, this time connecting Neteyam.

“X. stay front and center. Makeyo and Pathfinder are gonna spot you from the right. Try and find some targets. The rest of your team are far out behind.”

Minutes had passed, and you had watched the pa’li hunters desperately try to squeeze their way into the flow of traffic.

You watched a good portion of the hunters attempt at shooting one of the sturmbeest on horseback using their bow, only for the arrow to bounce off the rough exterior of the skin.

You watched a few of them collapse in a pile of chaos. 5 of them using spears only to get rammed down by a new group of the mud-covered giants, thrown with their pa’li into the dirt. The sight made you wince. Every fiber of your being just screaming for you to dive down there and help.

“Fuck it.”

You mumbled under your breath, preparing kailo to dive.

“Don’t even think about it.” Jake calls out to you.

You turn to see him, weaving through the trees on bob.

You shake your head, your long braids wildly whipping in the wind.

“Sir, we have too many hunters riding pa'li down. If we just sent support to the ground level we’d make a kill!”

Jake shook his head. “Forget it, X. Your job right now is to keep your squad in line. If you dive, you run the risk of all of them diving down after you. You say up, they say how high. You gotta keep yourself steady, kiddo.”

You hiss to yourself, your ikran feeling mutual frustration as a shrill escapes your companion.

Neteyam flies ahead with you, his bow at the ready on his side.

“Any openings?” he calls to you, and you only shake your head.

“None that don’t look risky.”

Neteyam nods, his eyes scanning the path.

“Let's get a bit closer. We can scout better angles from below.” he offers.

It wasn’t a terrible idea. You looked to your side, your eyes locking with Neteyam’s. Flames that weren’t quite worthy of being threatening engulfed a jaded voice under your chest. Promises of sunlight and safety that were agonizingly familiar shade of olive green and bright yellow. The same sounds of a bird thrashing in a cage. Exhausted and rough, and yet, there was trust beneath the surface. Like jumping off a cliff and knowing something will catch you.

He nods at you.

“I’ll be right behind you, X.”

You grab your bow and dive, Neteyam follows your lead.

You cruise above the chaos, mud flying in damp specks, your vision is clouded by dust and overbearing sensations.

Neteyam is beside you, and you can feel his gaze shifting between you and the path below in a predictable pattern.

Your eyes focus on a small rift forming in the middle of the stampede. Like a crack in the mountain. An open space where single beasts drifted in and out of a bare area.

Maybe small spaces still managed to infatuate you.

Your eyes locked onto one sturmbeest that took its turn in the middle. You reached for an arrow, pulling back the string of your bow. The familiar satisfying stretch felt beneath your finger tips as neteyam spotted you from beside, tilting himself down along with you.

You quickly devised a plan. A blockade of sorts could be created. If you shot down at least two of the biggest sturmbest, the rest would slow down because of the largest creatures stumbling about.

You traded in your singular arrow for two of your own, resuming your position as you pulled back your arrows.

Neteyam seemed to understand your plan, grabbing an arrow of his own.

You both nodded at each other, a mutual procedure seemingly placed into action.

“Ready whenever you are, X. I’m under your order.”

Neteyam’s voice sent a cold sensation down your spine. Something about obedience..The willingness to follow your every move.

You both released your arrows, one of your arrows hitting the exact same spot as his in one of the largest sturmbeest, your other arrow landing solo in the other.

It all seemed to happen in slow motion. The two beasts stumbled into the mud, causing the other sturmbeest to disperse into a wider path. Creating more room for targets.

Neteyam let out a celebratory war call, following your lead as you and Kailo flew up, circling Reysa and Neteyam.

“Hell yeah!”

You screeched.

“Hell Yeah!”

Neteyam mimicked you, his accented voice sounding funny on the human term spider taught you.

You both laughed, circling each other on your ikrans as the wind caught your hair.

Time seemed to slow for a moment as you both caught each other's gazes.

But it didn’t last for long.

“Y/n!”

Lo’ak’s voice screeched through the static of your throat comm, causing you and Neteyam to pause.

You placed two fingers on your throat comm, tuning into lo’ak’s distressed call.

“I’m here. what’s happening?”

“It’s spider! The Samson is dragging too close to the sturmbeest, its looking dangerously close to a collision. Dad’s comm isn’t going through and neither is norm’s! You have to get through to them!”

Your heart thrashed itself into an unyielding rhythm of uncertainty.

You don’t even answer Lo’ak. You dive back down, ignoring the calls of your name leaving Neteyam.

You finally find yourself parallel to the Samson, that, quite literally as Lo’ak described, was dragging through the air, the usual smooth running ship making unusual sounds as norm seemed to struggle along with a concerned max on the controls. A malfunction maybe? Eywa. Why now?!

You yelled to catch spiders attention, he jumped out of his seat and leaned on the edge of the side door that was now wide open, hanging out with only his arm holding him up as he gripped a bar.

“Tell Norm and Max to go up!”

You screamed, desperately making hand motions.

Spider couldn’t hear you. He leaned a bit closer to hear when suddenly the Samson dips down further, a sturmbeest bucks upwards.

Your heart seemed to completely cease beating for a moment.

You didn’t see what happened. All you knew is that when you looked back at the ship, spider was gone. The panic that sets in was enough to smother your vision in an unfamiliar color you couldn’t quite place. Panic rushed through you in bolts as all you could think of is the possibility of your brother being dead. The boy you carried around on your back for so many years. The boy who protected you from all the creepy boys in the clan. The boy who let you scream and cry and vent after Neteyam broke your heart.

A small whimper left your lips, and you can’t really tell if you’re crying or not.

The world around you seemed almost in a reflective like manner, as If kept in a kaleidoscope or a dome.

You dive down desperately, screaming for him, your voice tearing through the wind.

Neteyam dives down after you, cursing to himself and calling for spider as well.

The world around you seems to blur when you catch sight of a smaller pale creature sprawled out on the ground, unconscious.

You dive down, scooping him up by the waist and throwing him on the back of your ikran, one hand struggling to steer as another hand keeps spider slumped against your back, stretched behind you.

Lo’ak is below you, following you on the back of his pa’li.

You land a bit farther from the path in the forest, jumping off your ikran with jagged, uneven breaths as you laid spider on the grass with scrambling hands.

You freeze when you see the twitching of his hands, and the small crack in his mask.

And all you can think about is how if you lost spider, you really did have no family left.

“No, no no no no no please-“

You whispered, not knowing what to do or how to fix this.

Do you take it off? Leave it?

You resort to placing your hand over the crack, thinking maybe it’ll keep more air from slipping inside.

Your vision starts to blur with tears. And just when you place your palm atop the glass, you feel a jolt of pain rush through your wrist.

The pressure you applied had cracked the mask even more, and now tiny shards of glass had covered your palm.

You didn’t feel the pain. Not at first. But then, like the bitch it was, adrenaline was starting to abandon you.

Lo’ak hops off his pa’li and runs towards you, leaning down.

“Shit! Spider!”

He looks at you.

“What happened? What- how-“

Tears streamed down your cheeks. And Lo’ak stared for a moment as one of the strongest people he knew was crying right in front of him.

“H-he fell- I don’t-“

Your breathing becomes uneven.

Behind you you see Jake and Neteyam both land their ikrans, the Samson landing behind them a bit in the distance as norm runs carrying a first aid kit.

The air around you thieves you of oxygen as your chest becomes heavy.

Strong arms wrap around your waist, gently pulling you to your feet as your turned around and met with Neteyams golden hour eyes, his palms softly dragging down your cheeks to your collarbones,

“Hey-hey look at me. Are you hurt?”

You try to speak but the air in your lungs is swallowed instead, and you gasp.

“S-spider.”

He turns you the opposite way, shaking his head.

“Don’t look at that right now. Look at me. Just keep your eyes right here. I’m right here. Y/n.”

He looks you over, and freezes when his eyes settle on your palm.

“Shit. Your hand-“

You look down, seeing the thin trail of warm red liquid that dripped down your fingertips.

You felt like a faceless phantom in a hollow shell of a wreckage you called your body. Watching the world spin by as you remained trapped in your bird cage of broken wing bones.

You watched as Norm quickly replaced spider mask, his chest rising up and back down again like an ocean being suppressed under a sheet of glass.

You almost release yet another sob when spider regains consciousness. His eyes blowing wide like a shell-shocked animal. The sight of his pale hand gripping Norm’s much larger bicep makes you sick to your stomach.

Neteyam gently guides you by your waist to behind one of the trees, you press your back to the rough bark in hopes some kind of sensation will break this shock.

He takes your hand, grabbing the waterskin pouch from his knife sheath strap.

You watch as he pours the clear liquid onto your cut.

The cool water washing away the remnants of red and painful delirium that stained your hand was a soothing stimulation.

He’s movements are quick. Unrehearsed. A raw desperation submerged under his skin.

He rips a strip of fabric off of his loincloth, kneeling down as his knees suddenly assault the dirt with his sudden drop.

He gently takes your hand, wrapping the cloth around the wound, methodical movements carefully tying off this makeshift bandage.

He stands to his feet again, running his palms down your shoulders, then your arms, then your newly bandaged hands.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?”

You shake your head. You find yourself in an absent abstraction of a state. A warped, uncanny fabrication of reality. This verisimilitude within a broken mirror. A wondering reflection.

“You’re shaking.”

His deep accented voice breaks your wall.

You find yourself collapsing into him.

It was a blur, the whole thing.

Your face pressed to Neteyams chest as he kept an arm around you. You breathed in his scent, reminiscences in the familiar warmth of him, an almost magnetic feeling flowing through you.

And for a moment, the spaces didn’t seem too small anymore.

☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾𖤓 ⋆⁺₊⋆☾𖤓✮⋆⁺₊⋆

Y/n’s pov.

Norm says it was an accident. And accidents are prone to happen.

You sat in Mo’at’s tent, watching as the last few warriors had their injuries cleaned and bandaged.

You fidgeted with your bandage on your hand. Neteyam’s old one had been discarded when you returned, and you were given a real wrap for your hand.

Spider was alive. His breathing was normal again, but he suffered from his fall. You’re shocked he got away with only scrapes and bruises. He wasn’t allowed to climb or leave camp for the next few days. He was confined to bed rest.

He was now resting in the lab bunks. Norm and Max promised you they would not leave his side. It gave you some comfort.

It’s funny, really. How you had no problem facing war. You were good at strategy. A fierce archer. Different from some other na’vi who felt repulsed by human things.

You were fascinated with calculations and numbers. Planning and plotting. Reading and graphing. Heights, distances, etc.

But when something so sudden and blunt like your brother almost falling to his death out of a skyship, you fumbled and almost killed him.

You fidgeted with your bracelet. The one you, spider, and Lo’ak made as children. Twirling the beads between your fingers and staring down into the void of colors and shapes.

The feeling of Neteyam’s arms around you is far from absent. His scent lingers. Honey and wooded.

When you returned, he didn’t leave your side. He led you to his grandmother's tent, gave you water and sat with you until his father dragged him away to assist with gathering the meat from the beast you both hunted up to camp.

You didn’t like being pampered or prodded at, but for some reason your skin that now feels as hollow as a shell, it practically became a ragdoll under Neteyam’s hands.

The world around you felt far too big for this small tent to be encasing the storm of thoughts under your skin.

“Y/n!”

Tuk scampers inside through the entrance, practically throwing herself into your arms.

“Oh Tuk-Tuk.” You whisper, finding familiar warmth carrying you back to reality.

You held Tuk close. As if some threat of a force would take her away. As if the hollowness that shaved your bones longs for something to protect. Something to keep within the circle of your arms.

You smoothed back her braids, kissing her head.

“You’re back.”

She whispers, nuzzling her head into your shoulder. You place your hand on the back of her head, keeping her still and safe.

“Of course I’m back. I’ll always come back. What do I always tell you, love?”

Tuk sniffles, wiping her big eyes with the back of her hand.

“It would take a thousand sky ships to take you away?”

You smiled, tapping her nose gently.

“Make it a million.”

She smiled, but it fades away a bit as she glances down.

“Is spider okay?”

You still for a moment, the familiar ache in your chest returns.

“Oh little love. He’ll be just fine. Spider is big and strong. He’s a wild child, remember?”

You scooped tuk up into your lap, pressing a few kisses to her head, tickling her stomach. She giggled and thrashed in your arms.

“Y/n! Stoppp!”

She laughed wildly.

Finally, you put her back down, letting her snuggle up next to you as you wrapped an arm around her.

It wasn’t long before Kiri and Mo’at entered.

You bowed your head slightly, greeting mo’at.

“Ma’tsahik.”

She nodded at you, placing a hand on your head, smoothing down a few stray hairs from your braids.

“The salve will take affect soon, child. But you must not use it for the next few hours. Let your mind and your body heal.”

You nodded, squeezing her hand.

“Thank you.”

You whispered.

Kiri sat behind you, starting to untangle a few of your braids from its disheveled position tied back with your beaded cuff.

“Let me straighten your braids, tsmuke (sister). It looks worse than my fathers job at braiding.

You snorted, rubbing Tuk’s back as a small giggle leaves her lips.

Mo’at started to clean up the bowls laid around, behind her entered Lo’ak.

“There’s my sister from another mister. Killer shot.”

He teases, locking his hands with yours in a handshake-hug gesture you and him

Picked up as children from watching norm and Jake do it so many times.

When you pull away, he swings his arm around you, making himself comfortable as he leans sloppily over you, pushing Kiri back further.

She groans.

“Lo’ak! You idiot! Stop making me pull her hair!”

He shrugs Kiri off.

“Relax. We all know who y/n’s favorite sully is.”

Kiri scoffs and you reach behind your head to squeeze her hand.

Before you even realize it, the broken fragments of fear and self-hatred wither away under the surface of a settled skin. No longer sleepless with worry.

The air feels lighter with Tuk’s small snuggles and Kiri’s gentle hands running through your long braids, leaving some pieces at the ends unbraided just as she always loved the way it looked on you. Your chest doesn’t feel so tight after a few of Lo’ak’s stupid jokes and stories. The laughter seemingly loosening the threads of torn tapestry.

A few hours later, Neytiri enters the hut.

“Mama!”

Tuk squirms out of your arms, running to neytiri as she smiles softly down at her youngest.

“Oh tuk.”

She hums, leaning down to kiss her daughter's head, her attention turning towards you after tuk jogged away to mo’at.

“My sweet. Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

You shake your head, standing to your feet as she gestures for you to come closer, wrapping her arms around you and resting her chin atop your head, kissing your hairline.

“Oh my strong girl.”

She whispers, running a hand down your back.

“Strong heart.” She hums, stepping back a bit as her eyes slowly take you in.

She turns to Lo’ak and Kiri, who stand up soon after you.

“Your father has called a gathering of the clan’s hunters and warriors.”

She turns to you and Lo’ak, tilting her head upwards slightly.

“Your presence is needed. Both of you.”

You feel yourself straighten instinctively as you let her words register past the lingering haze of your earlier experience still looms over you like a storm cloud.

Lo’ak stretches, ruffling Tuk’s hair as she hisses and swats him away.

“Alright then. Let’s get moving.”

He nudges your elbow, brushing past Neytiri who softly touches his shoulder as he passes by.

“Y/n. A moment please.”

Neytiri’s slender fingers wrap around your forearm. Not harshly, but her voice has a clear coat of concern.

You pause, looking at Lo’ak once more as he ceases his strides.

“Y/n? You coming sis?”

You nod.

“I’ll be there in a minute. You go ahead. I’ll catch up.”

He nods, starting to walk away.

Neytiri turns to her mother.

“Sa’nok. Do you mind watching Tuktirey and Kiri?”

Mo’at shakes her head, standing to her feet and ushering Kiri and Tuk back to the sully family marui, Kiri giving you one last hand squeeze and Tuk giving you a small hug.

Once the tent is empty, your focus rechannels onto Neytiri.

“Is there something wrong?”

You ask.

She shakes her head.

“I just wanted to see if you were alright, yawne.”

Her hands rest on your shoulders, traveling down to your arms.

“You have been through so much these past few weeks, my sweet. If you ever need anything, please, don’t ever be afraid to ask me or Jake or Tsahik. You know this.”

You nod. Smiling softly to reassure her. This woman. This strong, beautiful woman who was giving you the love your mother left behind.

“I am fine. I promise.”

She sighs.

“You have dark circles under your eyes, Y/n. Your thinning a bit. You need sleep, and proper meals.”

She cups your face.

“All I ask is that you take care of yourself, my sweet. And please, let us take care of you. We are here for you. We always have been and will be.”

She gently runs her thumb over your cheek.

“Lean on us, yawne.”

You smiled, the two of you embracing one another in a hug.

You step back after a few moments.

“I promise. I’ll practice at it.”

She smiles and kisses your head.

“Tonight may be a bit evasive for sleep, thought. I’m gonna spend a few hours in the lab before turning in.”

Neytiri tilts her head.

“The sky people room? Why?”

“To check on spider.”

Her expression sours slightly as she hears his name.

“I’m sure he is healing just fine. The sky people’s tools take no time at all, it seems.”

There was an edge in her voice, but you knew it wasn’t directed towards you.

It was a difficult case when it came to what is left of your family.

It was always you, your father, your mother, and spider. A circle of safety and familiarity that never left you unguarded.

When your parents died, you were placed under the care of Jake and Neytiri. Neytiri would do anything for you. She would go to the same lengths for you, she would go to for any of her children. In her eyes, you were hers. Hers to love.

But love is a sacrificial abstraction. (Seems to be a common theme, does it not?)

You think what frustrates her is the sacrifices you make for him. Love was a unsteadily structured sentiment. And when all his attempts seem futile in forms of pale skin painted blue, there was a sensitive inflection of utterances.

You were his sister. You weren’t leaving him.

To Neytiri, your life was a cage. Stuck with this feral human boy who fancied himself a na’vi. A soul coaxed to wild-child thunderstorms and bruised knees from tree climbing, messy locs from days of sunlit spaces.

In her eyes you were stuck with Spider.

Her love and protection was something that created a barricade between you and your brother. You prayed you would never find yourself having to choose between spider and her.

“I should go see him. Just to check on him. I won’t be there long.”

Neytiri nodded, but you can tell she was biting her tongue.

You give her one more soft smile before turning to leave.

“Y/n?”

You turn at the call of your name, and she only utters a few words.

“Your mother loved that…boy. I know she did. But you are allowed to think differently. You need not be burdened with carrying yourself and another.”

You didn’t need her to elaborate. You understood.

You nodded.

“My mother believed that connection is unconditional. The color that stains our skin and our blood doesn’t make a family. She always told me that if you bind yourself to pure hatred, you forget who you are. I love my people. It’s all I’ve ever known.”

Neytiri’s tail swished.

“Y/n. Do not abandon what eywa has given us.”

Her voice was pleading. As if trying to place tessellations of an invisible disillusionment. A carefulness edged.

“I abandon no one.”

You whispered, holding her hands.

“But please. Understand that my home was built around both me and spider. The biggest abandonment I can see from that would be leaving him behind.”

She says nothing.

She stared at you with something you didn’t recognize.

It wasn’t cold, or shallow. Her gaze monitored a retrospection of something lost. Behind a liquid glass. You couldn’t tell if she saw you in a mirror or a window.

It’s blunted and ceased after a few moments. She kisses the top of your head.

“Olo’eyktan waits for you. Go on.”

You nod at her, deciding to take that as your signal to depart.

☾𖤓✮ ☾𖤓 ☾𖤓✮☾𖤓 ☾𖤓✮

When you arrived at the meeting spot, the first thing you see is your clans most renounced warriors in a circle with the exception of a few hunters and Lo’ak. He wasn’t quite as skilled as Neteyam when it came to certain skills, but was a warrior all the same.

You find a spot next to Lo’ak, nodding respectfully at the other na’vi easily recognizable that stood across from you.

Kyuna’s father, Makeyo and his father, Ka’ani, Lo’ak’s current teacher, and the man who took your fathers and place in teaching the young hunters undergoing iknimiya, and a handful others.

The dreamwalkers couldn’t be seen in the gathering, you assumed they retired back to their reserved part of the stronghold.

You turned to Lo’ak, who was fidgeting with his bracelet, the one you, him and spider shared.

“What is this about?”

You whispered.

Lo’ak shrugged, glancing at you, the two usual braids that framed the sides of his head falling in his face.

“Maybe we’re all gonna hold hands in a circle and dance about love and peace.”

He hummed, his face blank.

Your tail thwacked the back of his head.

“The sarcasm is not appreciated.”

You rolled your eyes.

He scoffed.

“I learned it from you.”

You felt something brush your side, you and Lo’ak both turn to see Neteyam take a spot next to you.

“Bro, where have you been? Being late for you is like-

Once in a lifetime.”

He nods, standing next to you.

“Had to make sure the ikran were tended to with a few others.”

He placed a hand on the small of your back, his gaze forged of soft honored gold, and deep skies.

“I fed Kailo and made sure he was tended to. He’s just fine.”

You mentally slap the shit out of yourself when you remember rushing to get spider to the lab so fast you dismounted Kailo without even noticing your companions weariness from the excitement.

“Shit- I completely forgot- fuck.”

You drag your palms down your face.

“It’s okay. He was fine. Still feisty as usual.”

The chuckle in his throat reverberated against the deep accent of his voice.

You felt yourself heat on the back of your neck.

“Thank you, Neteyam.”

He nodded, gently letting his hand fall back to his side.

“Yeah yeah, so kind of you-

Bro do you know what we’re even here for?”

Lo’ak not-so-subtly shoved himself between you and Neteyam pensively, unbothered by his clear dislike of your close proximity.

Lo’ak never loved the idea of you and neteyam being together. Not when you two were courting, and not now. Always pensive of you and Neteyam hanging out for too long, even doing together something as harmless as helping Mo’at back to her feet after a nap.

You always thought it was jealousy. Not the romantic type. The clan always told you that you and Lo’ak would make a beautiful match. But the thought felt like wearing clothes too big for you. Detached, displaced sense of stability. You loved Lo’ak. More than anything, you really did. But it wasn’t romantic. And Lo’ak clearly didn’t see you as wife material.

That’s fine. He wouldn’t make a great wife either to be honest.

It confused you sometimes. Lo’ak often showed Neteyam off to you, praising him. You wondered if it was sarcasm, or just respecting his brother enough to not embarrass him, but not wanting you two to court again either.

It was a mess for another moment.

Neteyam shrugged, shaking his head.

“Probably just a debriefing. The hunt was…unexpected to say the least.”

You nodded, locking gazes with Lo’ak for a moment as you both had a silent conversation.

It wasn’t long before Jake arrived, the first thing he did was check on the three of you. Mo’at followed behind him, making her way straight for the center ahead the gathering. It wasn’t uncommon for Tsahik to be present and meetings like this.

“You kids alright?”

Placing a hand on Lo’ak’s shoulder, checking your hand and patting Neteyam’s back.

“We’re fine, sir. Just a few scratches.”

Neteyam affirmed, shifting on his feet slightly.

Jake sighed in relief, hugging both his sons, before dragging you into the hug.

“I’m proud of you boys. Did nice riding out there, Lo’ak. And your shot was right on line, Neteyam.”

Lo’ak didn’t show it, but you could tell he was smiling. He kept his gaze down, peering at the ground.

Neteyam nodded, a smile tugging at his lips as well. You found it cute that both Neteyam and Lo’ak, even at ages 19 and 18, were still excited about getting a compliment from the great Toruk Makto. Their father.

The two of them talked for a moment, you found your gaze drifting to Makeyo and his father. They were speaking in the crowd. Makeyo looked anxious. Almost tensed as his father kept a hand on his back, ranting in a whisper.

Jake lead the three of you to the front of the gathering, straying from the crowd a bit. “Boys, do me a favor and go make sure we have everyone?”

Lo’ak and neteyam nodded, both jogging off to weave through the crowd and count heads of all the warriors they recognized.

As Neteyam and Lo’ak walked ahead, Jake placed a hand on your shoulder, giving you what you think spider called ‘a thumbs up’

“Nice shooting, sweetheart.”

He smiled proudly, sitting down next to you on one of the crevices.

You tried to conceal a smile of your own; your attempt pathetic as you smiled up at him like a child bringing home a freshly caught fish.

“Thank you.”

He ruffled your hair.

“Two for two shot-

Eywa, you never amaze me. What was it you and Neteyam did, the uhm, the two arrows in one-?”

“And one in the other. Something I’ve practiced with Lo’ak.”

You explained, smiling as he laughed.

“Genius. Absolutely.”

You two sat like that for a moment before neteaym and Lo’ak returned.

“Father, we are ready.”

Neteyam informed. Jake nodded, stretching as he stood to his feet.

Mo’at gently touched your back as she stood next to you.

Jake held a hand up, signaling the clan to be still and quiet.

“Thank you, my people for gathering. I’ll try to make this one quick.”

Jake’s lack of informality never seemed to not make you chuckle a bit.

“I have decided to make arrangements for the trainees in the war parties.”

He turned to the group that stood behind Makeyo and his father.

“It has come to my attention that some of you have clearly been ranked beneath your current abilities. And need more open field training.”

Open field training?

It was something you had back when you were 15. A few months after your parents passed. Jake started teaching you human tatical skills. How to use a gun, far distance targets, how to read radios and signals on old ships and navigate the screen charts on the controls. You so heavily insisted on having a position fighting the sky people. You worked, and you trained, until you became the most skilled warrior on your group. Even passing Neteyam and Lo’ak in your group.

Jake appointed you to his side. And you still at the realization that the moment he appointed you, it started with a meeting just like this.

Uncertainty shaved the hopeful soul that coated your bones.

Jake continued.

“I have decided that the upper rank trainees will start with new practices. They will now be lead by Ka’ani. Awkey, you will lead the years younger.”

So it wasn’t what you thought. Your position remained, it seemed.

The sudden switch of teachers was a bit odd, nonetheless.

Jake finished his speech minutes later. It was a short overview of new tactics the warriors would be learning. New places for target practice, and unfamiliar routines.

You didn’t mind the new schedules. It seemed like less of your day would be consumed in strategy sessions.

When he finished, the crowd started to disperse. Lo’ak went to speak with Awkey, leaving you with Jake, Mo’at, and Neteyam.

Makeyo and his father remained in their spots; as if waiting for a further instruction.

Makeyo’s father, Va’ru, was ambitious to a point it was farther than frightening. Constantly trying to put his son in first place. Like a cloud formulating a storm that swirled seated under restless skin.

Neteyam stepped forward, his tail flicked slightly.

“Dad, if Lo'ak's group will be with Awkey, does that mean I will be undergoing Ka’ani’s training?”

Jake shifts for a moment, as if trying to place his words in the right order.

“Yes and no. I have a different plan for you.”

Neteyam’s eyes widened only slightly, his tail flicking.

“Sir?”

He tilted his head.

Jake’s tone was clinging to remain inconcous as he saw Makeyo’s father approach.

“Olo’eyktan. I assume this is about the private lessons for Makeyo?”

Private lessons? Makeyo was going to take private lessons with Jake?

Makeyo seemed reluctant to engage in whatever was about to happen, gently tugging on his fathers arm.

“Father. Please. There was no certainty it would be me.”

His pleading falls deaf on his fathers ears.

“Va’ru. There has been a change.”

Jake speaks slowly, as if not to wake a sleeping thanator.

Va’ru is still for a moment.

Neteaym steps forward, gently past his grandmother.

“What are we speaking of?”

He inquires, his own ounce of impatience slipping past his mask ever so subtly.

Jake sighs, rubbing his temple.

“This is not how things were supposed to go.

Over the last few weeks, I have been individually monitoring the warriors in your group to consider them for private lessons. Since Y/n is my most prominent warrior, she would be teaching the one I chose. My choice was Makeyo.”

Makeyo’s ears flicker upwards, and his father straightens, a smile forming on his face. It wasn’t genuine or even greatful. It was hungry, frenzied with torrid energy.

“Olo’eyktan. I would be honored to have Makeyo be taught under your most trusted archer.”

You felt your expression sour. Clearly uncomfortable with the energy that radiates off Va’ru.

Jake shakes his head.

“I have had a change of mind. As of a few days ago I have decided to give the role to Neteyam.”

This feels mosaic the moment you register his words. The figures around you now made of oddly shaped colors and sizes of glass. All the wrong shades.

You feel your fingers twitch and your mind go adrift. A blanket ablaze blanks your mind to a faceless slate.

Alone. With Neteyam.

The words swirl around like a whirlpool. A windless storm without the familiarity of chaos to stabilize the seas.

You try to place yourself in the vision but you can’t. You can’t seem to inhabit the precipice of this reality.

Your shaken away from the void of your thoughts as Jake places a hand on your shoulder.

“Y/n. You will train Neteyam. Teach him the things I have taught you and your own ways. He will learn a lot from you. We’ll have another archer in our skies. More air combat support.”

You force yourself to nod and swallow, neteyam still seemingly frozen at the news.

Va’ru is clearly not pleased.

“Olo’eyktan. With all due respect-“

The funny thing is, there’s not an ounce of respect in his tone. Its ironically edged, as if Jake’s decision is the height of audacity.

“Makeyo has been training. He’s familiarized himself with Y/n’s methods. He studies her.”

It doesn’t go unnoticed when Neteyam’s ears pin down, his gaze narrowing as the words ‘study her’ reach his ears.

You can’t blame him. It does sound fucked up.

Va’ru digs himself in a deeper hole this time.

“He trains the younger children with her. He spends most of his days with her. He’s dedicated his time, his-“

Jake cuts him off, his voice a bit sterner this time, and you can tell his patience is slipping away.

“It’s not about time. It’s about skill. Makeyo is a very talented warrior. There’s no doubt. He’s a strong archer. But neteyam has shown promise over these last few weeks. He’s worked to improve his knowledge on the air strike patterns of the RDA. Hes flown with me to scout the perimeters of hell’s gate. He’s ready to advance to start training with newer methods.”

Va’ru scoffs, taking a step back, your tail flicks.

“You throw your son in the highest place again and again. You choose to ignore the others potential.”

Jake wasn’t one for favoritism when it came to the honest work of his warriors. To suggest otherwise was offensive.

Honor was valued among the na’vi. It was wrong to accuse him of just always picking neteyam. If anything, this was Neteyam’s chance. He had worked so hard to be seen by his dad. You knew this.

Jake took a breath to steady his urge to let this guy steal the last shred of tolerance he has left.

“Va’ru. Not infront of the others. We can speak privately-“

Va’ru’s tone was biting now.

“You cannot keep doing this. And your son can’t keep ‘running to daddy’ when he falls behind my son and can’t admit it.”

Something surged through the hungered veins under your skin. The fire never stayed absent for very long. Purging itself to cultivate on unsettled gilded flesh.

A hiss left you. The ardent prolonged end notes of something almost inhibited by a growl. A fervid, feverish vehemence whisped behind.

Va’ru’s eyes widened a bit, his prior confidence subduing under a sheet of hesitance.

Jake pushed you back a bit, a warning glare tossed towards your squirming figure to step forward once again.

“We can speak privately. But I will not allow you to insult the hard work of my son. Or question the expertise of Y/n.”

Va’ru and Jake agreed to talk privately, but you predicted just more arguing.

☾𖤓✮ ☾𖤓 ☾𖤓✮☾𖤓 ☾𖤓✮☾𖤓✮ ☾𖤓 ☾𖤓✮☾𖤓 ☾𖤓✮

Seeking solitude in the hidden caves of the mountainous cave of high camp, you settled with your anxiousness with one of the corridors above the first columns.

You paced back in fourth, cursing to yourself and throwing sharp stones at the wall.

You weren’t ready. You just weren’t ready. The moment Jake and Va’ru left you ran for the farthest place you could find. You couldn’t bare to look at Neteyam.

Jake’s words from earlier pierce the surfaces of unsteady standing ground in your heart.

Love isn’t easy

You know what else isn’t easy? Having to spend all day with the man you used to dream about kissing. Loving. Hugging. Mating with.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Your pulse quickens.

You remember that day. You remember the day though you waited for him under the rain.

Under a lapis hued nightfall you were ready to give him your heart. Raw and bruised and blemished and every curve and dip and imperfection yearned for his touch.

But you fell in love with the sun. And you were undeserving of sunlight.

A boy made of flaxen fanned regrets and flamed forged promises.

You loved him. You didn’t love him for the son made of stone. Through the shifting shadows and vibrant visions of excellence engraved in ecstasy that echoed through disassembled pieces of manic daydreams.

You loved him. Tormented yourself with distance and fervent optimism. Idealisms too far to be attained.

This forbidden collision of the sun and the moon.

And you waited. Damn yourself yet you waited.

You waited for an explanation for his departure. A reason for this distance.

Weeping under a wild sky, disgusted with your own reflection. The sight of yourself just a poor effort of what you could have given him.

And then your family went somewhere you cannot follow, and suddenly he seeks remorse.

It’s unfair. It is so fucking unfair the nights you spent crying over the loss of his warmth. The sunlight felt cold. The warmth wind felt unfamiliar.

And then you found the moonlight. The contingent comfort of dimmed sapphire hues and vengeance.

You refused to cry. You refused to be weakened. Your mother had seen fire and survived it. You had seen fire and burned with it-

And burn you will. Burn under the Sirius secrets whispered under the raptured intimacy of independence and its sweetening bindings.

So be it. So burn. bloodshed forging bones into bludgeons of tattered tears trains and scarred screams, soulless sleep.

Forgiveness surrounds itself in fractions of frustrations.

You damned the sky starless because all the stars had fallen with your tears waiting for him. Waiting for the voices in your head to surrender and ricochet to the shallow corners of the planes traced lines on your palm.

You recount. Roll back and fast-forwards through every memory no longer remembered under glistening sunlight poured into liquid glass, and the hues of his golden eyes.

He was daylight. He wore a halo of Helios and draped warm flesh over sun-stained soulful essence to challenge the sea and the sky. A faint heartbeat under adrift moments scattered to a tethered wind.

A man, a mask, and it’s burdens and bodies and sun-dried bones. He was a symphony and you, a mere half note of lost virtues.

Why must you constantly be at war with yourself? Why do you do this to yourself?

Do you hate him?

Do you love him?

Do you want him?

You were nightfall.

Cascades of constellations and curls of lavender. A restless shade of reddened sunset, undertoned swirling and swept to hues of purple, orange, blue, a fiery sunset. Moonlight worn like a veil, tear-stained lips and blood stained hips and yet, oh how beautiful you were. Dark and delicately dressed in grief.

Sensationalize these bittersweet story endings and happily never after forever, then maybe some more.

To restrain this punishment, this internal unredeemable consciousness.

Someone is behind you. Coming slowly into your peripheral view.

You move quickly, drawing the knife on your hip and flipping it into your uninjured hand, steadying at the perpetrators throat.

“Shit! Easy, easy…”

Neteyam holds his hands up in defense, his eyes wide at your sudden movements.

“Y/n. It’s just me.” He cautiously lowers the knife in your hand.

Great. The man of the hour.

Oh eywa must have you fucked up if she thinks you’re dealing with this right now.

“Get out.”

You didn’t mean to sound so punitive, but you were pissed, confused, and on the verge of tears. That was never a very delightful combo.

Neteyam shook his head.

“I can’t.”

“Neteyam I’m not going to tell you again. Get out. Please.”

Your voice cracked this time as you took a step forward.

“Y/n please.” He begged.

“Get out! Go! Leave! Fuera!”

You used every word you knew. Including another earth language spider had been teaching you. ‘Spanish’ is what he called it.

He winced, but only for a moment.

“I can’t. Because if I leave id just carry myself right back here.”

It satisfied you but it did nothing to console the ache in your heart.

“Then what do you want?”

You whispered.

“Another chance.”

Fuck.

You took a step away, running your palms down your face. Neteyam ignored the gesture, walking after you.

“It’s been years, y/n. I’ve dug my own grave and I’ve lied in it. I can’t eat or sleep properly anymore because it fucking eats me alive.”

Neteyam Sully was never one to curse. That was more of lo’aks calling card. So it stunned you slightly when he spoke in such a way.

You turned to face him. His golden hour eyes locking with yours.

“I don’t ask for your forgiveness. I only ask for you to hear me out.”

He took a breath.

“From the moment I was born, every single moment of my life feels like it’s been calculated. Staged, rehearsed, nothing was ever out of place. Everything was a plan- a strategy. I’m not asking for your pity but all I ask is that you understand. That life is all I’ve ever known, Y/n.

And then I fell in love with you. And you were just-“

He paces around as he walks. Talking with his hands, making grand gestures to try and articulate some spontaneous thought without really knowing what he was saying at all.

For every moment in his life being staged and prepared, this sure as hell didn’t seem rehearsed.

Maybe the sun-stained son made of stone broke like glass after all.

He continues stumbling over his words. It was rather unlike him. To be this outspoken and unequivocal with his words.

“You we’re just, Eywa I don’t know how to begin.

You were wild and unpredictable, so unbothered and reckless and passionate. You still are. You make the most dangerous shit I’ve ever seen in my life seem so graceful and beautiful. You care for my siblings, Tuk wants to quite literally ‘be y/n’ when she grows up and Lo’ak and Kiri would probably plot a mass murder if you asked them too. My mother and my father love you like one of their own. I don’t want what used to be between us ruin any of that. I’m tired of it, y/n. I’m tired of all the awkward formalities and hating eachother. And I’ll be damned if I’ve ever met a woman in my entire life who knows a bow and arrow like you do.”

You’re stunned. Everything he says sinks under your skin for a moment.

He takes a breath.

“Y/n. Please. Give me another chance. To be friends again. I miss you. I really do. You're going to be my teacher now. We shouldn’t be-“

“Just shut up for a minute.”

A small ‘yes ma’am.’ Leaves his lips as his gaze darts down a bit.

Now, if someone told you about 30 minutes from now you would be hugging neteyam sully, you probably would have called them crazy.

But now, as eywa as your witness, that’s exactly what you did.

He was still for a moment, and then he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you back.

You took a step back, smiling at him softly.

“Our first lesson starts as soon as my hand is healed. Don’t be late.”

And with that, you left.

Neteyam stood there for a moment before jumping up, fisting the air, a celebratory ‘fuck yes!’ Leaving his lips silently.

Maybe things made of stone can break like glass after all.

☾𖤓✮ ☾𖤓 ☾𖤓✮☾𖤓 ☾𖤓✮☾𖤓✮ ☾𖤓 ☾𖤓✮☾𖤓 ☾𖤓✮

Parallels:

Biggest parallel: the “hell yeah!” Line between neteyam and y/n is parallel to this scene between Jake and Neytiri.

Spider and Y/n - Tommy and Jake (two siblings, two sides of the same coin)

Y/n and Neytiri - (learning to love even through grief)

Y/n and Jake - (’soldier mentality’ and low self image because of trauma)

Lo’ak, Y/n and Neytiri - (rebelliousness)

Spider and Neteyam- (oldest sibling responsibility)

Authors note:

I’m alive! I survived probably the longest chapter in this fic. I think I owe all my virago readers an apology. This chapter is WAY overdue. I'm sorry about that one, y'all.

But we're finally out of the enemy stage! And now I get to enjoy writing fluffy moments between neteyam and y/n, aka our resident virago and sun son made of stone.

So I just want to clear some things up before I wrap this up.

In my story, spider is a Spanish speaker. I read the original script and saw that he does speak Spanish in one of the scenes, and as a Spanish speaker and a spider stan that just warms my heart. Yes, a na’vi speaking Spanish might sound kinda cringe but it's my personal headcanon that spider would definitely teach y/n Spanish.

Btw I just finished watching the hunger games so if anyone can catch all the Haymitch and Katniss references between y/n and Jake I will literally kiss you.

Remember to pleas like, comment, reblog, and as a request from me, please comment your favorite quote. trope, dynamic, or moment in this chapter or even the story so far.

Taglist

@mntx666

@isnt-itstrange @thebestrouge

@bay7let

@fairuzwhat

@jackiehollanderr

@6423btw

@satesatesate2009

@0stargirl0

@heavenlysstuff

@dayyzlol

@iheartamajiki

#neteyam #neytiri #jake avatar #kiri sully #neteyam x reader #avatar the way of water #neteyam sully #avatar fanfiction #lo’ak x reader #neteyam x you

55 notes · View notes

juniperskye · 2 months

Text

Remember That Night.

Sneak Peak: Hotch reaches out to you five months after breaking your heart. Based on the song Remember That Night by: Sara Kays

Aaron Hotchner x GN! Reader

Angst

Word count: 1095

I wrote this in an hour soo…. it’s not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, not use of y/n, some language, implied smut, talk of heartbreak, some mention of toxic-ish relationship, reader and friends are all left gender neutral, idk ummm bad writing – lol. Let me know if I missed any!!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

He had broken things off just over five months ago. It had been out of the blue and you were devastated. The day after he said goodbye you had felt paralyzed, things had been so good, so how could Aaron be so okay with walking away? You had a hard time grasping onto reality after he left, so much so that all you did was lay in bed and cry. You had ignored all the incoming texts and calls from your friends for a few days, finding it impossible to leave your bed. But as time went on, you could feel things returning to normal, you started to feel joy again.

When Aaron first broke things off, you were sure you’d never heal. You were certain that he’d been the one, but after one month, you started to move on. You had started going out with your friends again. You had allowed yourself to be open to meeting someone new because things were good, and you were happy. You could return the smile of the handsome stranger at the supermarket because it no longer riddled you with guilt. Instead, that smile sparked something inside you, hope.

One month had been good for you, and after two, you felt alright, truly. Every once in a while something would come up and your thoughts would return to Aaron, but it was happening less and less. For that you were thankful. Your friends had set you up with someone and the date had gone well, he was nice enough and he made you laugh. So, when he asked you out on a second date, you didn’t hesitate to agree.

Then three months in, he was off your mind. Aaron hadn’t crossed your mind in quite a while. You felt good and things with this new guy were going pretty well, you weren’t sure if anything serious would come of it, but honestly you didn’t care. It was nice to be dating again and to have someone who was around.

And month four and five, you were living your life, you were better and didn't have to try not to think of Aaron. You had just moved to a new apartment and gotten a promotion at your job; the pieces were finally falling into place. You felt good about things and tonight wouldn’t be any different.

Your friends were throwing you a sort of housewarming/congratulations dinner party! You had put on your favorite outfit while they set the table beautifully and waited for the rest of your guests to arrive.

The night went on full of laughter and so much love. You were so grateful to be surrounded by so many people who cared about you and who celebrated your success with you. The group of you were a few bottles of wine in when a ping from your phone caught your attention. The notification had stolen the breath from your lungs.

You had been fine. Great even, that is, up until now…'til he reached out and said, "Remember that night?". You didn’t need any further explanation; you knew exactly what night he was referring to. It had been pretty early on in your relationship, Aaron had gotten home late from a case and you went for a drive, 2:30 in the morning he kissed you, it was pouring. You held each other tight, before the night was over he looked over his shoulder. You had known exactly what he needed, and you hadn’t hesitated. That night you had climbed into the backseat of his SUV and let him have his way with you. It had been clear he needed to let off some steam and who were you to deny him. You’d never forget that night…but you hadn’t thought of it in a while.

Your friend had immediately seen the shift in your mood and gestured for you to go with them to the kitchen. Gently grabbing your arm to guide you there.

“Babe, are you okay?” They asked.

“Oh, I was doing fine until he said, “Remember that night?”. “Remember that night?" are you kidding me? I haven’t seen him or heard from him in five months, and he texts me that? That’s so fucked. I was finally moved on, hadn’t even thought about him. Oh, I was doing fine he said, "Remember that night? Remember that night?".” You couldn’t help but wave your hands around as you explained the situation to your friend.

“Are you kidding me? Babe do not reply to him, he’s not worth it. Did you want me to stay with you tonight?” Your friend offered.

You shook your head, wrapping your arms around yourself in hope of finding some sort of comfort. Your friend wrapped you in a hug and made their way outside to start cleaning up and hinting to the rest of your friends it was time for them to go.

That night you hadn’t slept a wink. You tossed and turned, your thoughts racing through your mind, feeling completely unsure of how to proceed. The day after he had reached out you were broken for the second time around. You barely made your way to the couch, thankful that you had the weekend to sulk before needing to return to work on Monday. You prayed on the third day that you would be okay, that you'd forget he was ever yours.

You felt so frustrated with Aaron, how could he be so inconsiderate. To text you after all this time and ask you about a night you shared together. He broke up with you, he broke your heart. The more you sat with it, you started to think; “Oh, I don't think you realize How long I had to fight to be living my life To be better and never have to try Not to think of you until you reached out And said, "Remember that night?" We went for a drive, 2:30 in the morning I kissed you, it was pouring We held each other tight before the night was over You looked over your shoulder Oh, I was doing fine You said, "Remember that night? Remember that night?".” Aaron was probably reaching out because he was thinking about himself and how he was feeling, and not how his actions would affect you, which had been a constant issue in your relationship. As much as you wanted to reply to him, you decided against it, but that didn’t stop the memories from flooding your brain. As much as you didn’t want to, you definitely did, remember that night.

58 notes · View notes

tragicbeauty1991 · 25 days

Text

So I know I’m extremely late to the party, but I FINALLY got around to watching Wish now that it’s up on Disney+ and…I genuinely don’t understand why it got so much hate?? Sure, maybe it wasn’t on par with things like The Lion King or Frozen in terms of the lasting effect it’ll have on pop culture but it was still a good, fun film with original characters and plot and catchy songs. While I can see where some of the complaints are coming from, I feel like ultimately most of them blow the issues out of proportion. As for my personal thoughts on the film…

- The songs were good overall. Maybe not as memorable as some of my favorite ‘90s Disney jams, but topping Phil Collins and Elton John is admittedly hard to do. Ariana DeBose and Chris Pine were great, though. I honestly had no idea Chris Pine could sing so well. “At All Costs” was by far my favorite song of the entire film. I would have loved to see it as a love duet rather than singing to the wishes but regardless, it’s beautiful. “This is the Thanks I Get” got a lot of flak, but honestly, I thought it was catchy and fun—rather reminiscent of Gaston’s pub song about himself.

- Speaking of Magnifico… More backstory, please! I would love for a sequel to do what they did with Frozen and explain all the things that were not fully developed in the first film. I want to know details on what happened to Magnifico’s family… But man, oh man… Was I EVER happy to get a “real villain” again with more of a classic Disney feel—dramatic, over the top, a little unhinged…and just FUN. I think the reason so many people seem to be having a problem with him is that they don’t quite know how to categorize him, though, before his ultimate downward spiral after being possessed by the book. (I think after that point, no one would argue about him being a villain.) But before…while he’s definitely narcissistic and has a temper…he’s not straight-up evil. There’s a big difference in being a bit of a jerk and being someone who makes you legitimately fear for your life. In fact, we have several heroic characters in the Disney canon who at least start out their story in a similar vein. Prince Naveen, Peter Pan, and Emperor Kuzco, for example, are all full of themselves and entitled…but they ultimately choose to do the right thing when it comes down to people they care about. That is to say, Magnifico’s less than ideal character traits we see early on in the film shouldn’t automatically qualify him as a villain. He could frankly go either way. And then when he does “go dark” it’s ONE stupid decision on his part (going for the book) that ruins any chance he had of being like the aforementioned characters. Personally, I like the complexity…and the tragedy of what it means for Queen Amaya. Which reminds me…

- Yes, a villain power couple would have been fun. But honestly, I think I like this better. Partly because of the angst potential here. For all his faults, Amaya DOES genuinely love him, and watching him slowly lose his mind and himself to the power-hungry monster he becomes has to be absolutely heartbreaking for her. Also…maybe it’s just because I identify with Amaya here. I have been in a bad relationship where I did truly love the other person and thought they loved me…but ultimately, they seemed to love themselves more. And I made excuse after excuse for his behavior for a long time because I couldn’t see what he was doing to me…didn’t want to see it…because I loved him. People say Amaya had to have known sooner that something rotten was going on but I don’t know that she ever allowed herself to think anything other than the best of him. Amaya has a good heart…and sometimes those people see the best in others even when it isn’t there. What I really would have loved is to have Amaya and Magnifico sing a short reprise of “At All Costs” in which Amaya is asking, “Really? You’ll hoard all these wishes for your own selfish reasons even at the cost of losing your people’s love? Of losing me?” And Magnifico is just…stoically resolute. That would have hurt but it would have been so good!

- Similarly, I don’t get the complaint about Star. I wouldn’t mind seeing Star Boy like he was in the concept art and having a romance with Asha. But also…Star is ADORABLE, okay?? He may not speak but he has so much personality. Makes me think of like…Pascal in Tangled or even Tinkerbell.

- I know a lot of people complained about there being too many references to other Disney films but this just seems like a silly argument to me. Disney has always liked to leave little Easter eggs in their films and have some fun with crossovers. I am thinking of the Genie imitating Pinocchio and pulling Sebastian out of nowhere in Aladdin. Hidden characters in the background of other films like Flynn and Rapunzel showing up in Arendelle. Hidden Mickeys. And of course shows that were all about a Disney multi-verse that sort of pokes fun at itself like Once Upon a Time, House of Mouse, and even Ralph Breaks the Internet. With this being a special anniversary film, of course we ought to expect more nods to other films and Disney animation history. I thought it was cute. Especially Magnifico’s jab at Asha’s little moving drawing. (“Is that a talent?”) Made me literally laugh out loud.

- I think the one complaint I do agree with at least in part is the, “But Magnifico was right, though??” Some dreams shouldn’t come true. Especially if it’s a wish you’re making when you’re 18. There are definitely things I wished for at 18 that I am glad I did not get in hindsight. Sometimes what we wish for isn’t what’s best for us or others. And while Asha’s wishes are selfless and for others…she seems to assume that everyone else will also have equally harmless, selfless wishes. It’s sweet but perhaps a bit naive. Also…Asha has good intentions but it is rather funny and frustrating as the adult to watch this teenager come in and try to upset the whole system thinking she knows better than the person who has been running the kingdom for years. That said… Asha isn’t totally wrong either. The wishes do ultimately belong to the people who made them and it’s better even if it’s painful to have a dream in your heart than to be lacking purpose. It may be easier to forget the wishes entirely but certainly not healthier. Ironically, if only these two could have worked together, they actually would have made a great team.

Overall, I liked the film. And I think if I was still a child myself, I would have enjoyed it even more.

#wish #disney wish #wish 2023 #wish asha #princess asha #king magnifico #queen amaya #ariana debose #chris pine #Disney

42 notes · View notes

affixjoy · 4 months

Text

Today I continued my Star Trek journey by rewatching Star Trek (2009) and boy howdy do I have some thoughts.

So first off, I saw this for the first time when I came out in 2009. It wasn’t my first experience with Star Trek, but it was probably my first with Kirk and Spock and that gang. I remember liking it a lot.

Now that I’ve watched all of TOS and a few of the movies with the original cast my feelings are a little more complicated.

Overall, fun movie! I imagine they had to have felt the weight of recasting and redoing such iconic characters, and in a lot of ways they succeeded. It certainly got younger people like me interested in the franchise!

💫 Spock: I do love this version of him. His “live long and prosper” to the VSA is perfectly bitchy and I’m obsessed with it.

💫BONES!! if you’ve read any of my other posts you’ll know that somehow Bones snuck up on me as my favorite character. I love his intro here, and I think Karl Urban gets the tone just right. This really is a buffet for the McKirkers out there, I can see how this led to 1000 academy era fics of them.

💫Kirk: oh Jim. Jimmy Jim Jim. Baby boy. What are you doing. How did being played by Chris Pine (who is incredibly hot) make you LESS attractive??

Obviously this Kirk suffers from some Kirk drift and the added trauma of losing his dad. He’s so much angrier, so much less sweet and nerdy. Rewatching this now I can see why I was so hesitant to like him in TOS because he’s a lot less lovable here.

💫 I get it’s an emergency and they had to for plot reasons, but almost all of Pike’s staffing choices make no sense. Sure, Spock as acting captain, I get that. But everyone else?? Imagine being one of the other people there who has been with starfleet for years and seeing him hand Kirk the role of first officer. The ship can’t be entirely cadets can it?? Imagine the group texts going around after like “thank god he didn’t die because I really need to bitch about this.”

💫 I love all three Uhuras (tos, aos, and snw) and I get why they made her Spock’s love interest here because they’ve got fun chemistry! They have a lot in common, they’re both hot and smart, I get it. But cmon guys, that man is a 6 on the Kinsey scale. You keep pairing him with women and it doesn’t work.

💫 I feel like they worked in lots of little references to classic trek, from plot stuff to smaller details like when Spock enters from the turbolift at the end in a very TMP way. I love that, it makes me feel like the people making the movie really care about the stories and the characters. When Spock Prime says good luck I felt all the weight of his relationship with his Jim and how it changed him. So lovely and touching.

And just how close they made Kirk and Spock stand, especially towards the end of the movie. They were always glued to each other in TOS and JJ must have known us Spirk shippers needed something to latch on to 😅

💫 There’s too much action in this movie for me. We didn’t need to see Scotty beamed into the water tank. The best sf stuff is always story based, I don’t need extravagant fights and cgi shit. I’m sure there are people who watch science fiction for the spectacle but I’m here for the ideas and the feelings.

💫 goddddd everything with Vulcan and losing Amanda. Rip all our hearts out why don’t you. Spock’s mom dying is just heartbreaking. I know they had to lose someone we knew to make the destruction of the planet more real to us as viewers but so crushing to see it.

💫 Old Spock 😭😭😭

He knows right away who Jim is and expects that Jim found him on purpose.

Old Spock just launched right in to the mind meld huh. To me this really says that he and his Jim are on very casual mind meld terms and he’s not fully understanding that this Jim is not his Jim.

Think about how fucking weird all this must be for old Spock. How heartbreakingly strange it would be so see a young version of your husband and send him to a young version of yourself. Meeting all your old friends young selves, years after you’ve lost them all.

And from here out it’s just miscellaneous thoughts I jotted down while watching that don’t fit great anywhere else:

⭐️I love when the redshirt is so excited to get the Romulans and Kirk gets this look like… that’s why you’re here? Dude the battle not the appeal here. A nice glimpse of how this Kirk is similar at heart to TOS Kirk.

⭐️Love you Sulu and your fencing skills

⭐️I love when they stop the lift for emotional reasons.

⭐️“Our destinies have changed” goddddd great speech Spock

⭐️Jim has the look of a man who is frequently escorted places by security

⭐️Spock wants to break Kirk so bad 😂

⭐️When Jim slaps Spock’s back and Spock has a look of “I think that just awakened something in me.”

⭐️Spock you’re calling him Jim already? You slut. (Delighted, affectionate)

Overall I think it’s a fun movie but it misses a lot of what’s at the heart of the classic Trek I love. They try to do everything too fast and it just doesn’t work as well for me. I’m excited to rewatch the next two and see how these versions of the characters change!

#spirk #star trek #james t kirk #spock #leonard mccoy #star trek 2009 #nyota uhura #not a bad movie!#but missing a lot of the vibes I love #I get why people love it and I get why people hate it.#mckirk

98 notes · View notes

jaemmphilia · 11 months

Text

★ 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 ★ || b.c

★ summary: an accidental confession gone wrong, and fate forcing you to meet the one person you never wanted to see again.

★ characters: bang chan, cannon y/n (he/him pronouns and a masculine frame), holland (the sweetest gay idol in the entire world)

★ warnings: lots of hurt, the reader is an idol, and his stage name is Mars (for the sake of the story, reader also has a last name), so much heartache, grab your tissues bc channie is about to break your heart...this story doesn't follow exactly how chan became an idol, so for the sake of the story, he moves to korea after high school, internal homophobia, mentions of depression, reader has an anxiety attack :(

★ word count: 3.7K

★ requested?: yes, thank you to @cheeseflirty47

★ binnie's thoughts: ohhhh this one is a doozy, yall... i love writing angst so much, and i'm no stranger to rejection and heartbreak, so this is gonna be a little personal for me, so i hope i do it justice...I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE BUT I STRUGGLED SO BAD

★ disclaimer: this fic in absolutely NO way represents the stray kids members as people. this is just for fun, so don't take it to heart. just enjoy!

Having a dad who grew up with his best friend from diapers all the way into adulthood, meant that you were required to get along with his best friend’s son. It didn’t matter if you and Chan liked different things, you had to get along with him, according to your old man. Lucky for the both of them, you and Chan got along perfectly. You were both born in the same month, just 3 days apart, with Chan being the older one. You two did everything together growing up, mischievous little boys who rolled in dirt and played with bugs. As you got older, you both realized how much music meant to you.

Music was a staple in your home, your mother was in her school’s choir, and she was in theater. Your father was in a band that he formed with Chan’s father and two other friends, and they would perform for the neighborhood whenever there was a cookout or barbeque. So it was no surprise that you picked up on their musical talent, at such a young age on top of that.

You and Chan were going on a fishing trip while your mom was on a three-day trip with her middle school music class. You and Chan are playing with the wrestling figures that you brought along with you in the back seat, the two of you making punching noises with your mouths as your characters duke it out. The radio plays softly in the car, your dads making conversation as the car rolls smoothly on the road. Suddenly, your favorite song in the entire world, The Girl is Mine, by Michael Jackson featuring Paul McCartney comes on the radio and you gasp, immediately kicking the back of your dad’s seat.

“Dad, turn it up!” Your voice calls out, ignoring the super important heavyweight champion match you were previously having with Chan. Chan just pouts, he was so so close to winning. He had your character pinned in a finishing move, and was about to count to three.

Your dad turns up the radio a little with a shake of his head. You wiggle from side to side in your seat, the music taking over you as you begin to sing the lyrics. As your little voice fills the car, Chan’s dad looks at your dad with an incredulous look. Since when did you have such a good singing voice, and why are they just now hearing it?

“What? You didn’t know my boy had the voice of an angel? Believe me, I was surprised too.” Your dad says, a cocky tilt to his voice. Chan’s dad lets out an awed whistle.

“He sounds real good, mate,” Chan’s dad starts, taking a sip of his soda as he looks at you belting your heart out in the back seat, “Do you think he’d be famous one day?”

Your dad has definitely thought about you growing up and becoming famous one day. He would be so proud, but he would never force you into a life of fame if it wasn’t something you wanted. “Yeah, but I feel like it’s too soon to think about that, you know? He may not even want to be a singer when he gets older.” Chan’s dad hums, and then he hears another voice joining in on your singing, although it’s much quieter. He breaks out into a smile, knowing that the voice belongs to his very own son. He knows Chan is shy about singing in front of people, so he’s glad to know that you bring out that side of him. He's really happy that you and Chan are close.

Things remain the same as you and Chan get older. You both have ventured into high school. You still hang out with Chan every single day, you study together after school, and then you ride your bikes to the park and you play a little bit of soccer (or football, whatever you want it to be) until it’s time for you to part ways for dinner.

Things do change when Chan gets a girlfriend. Vanessa Clovers. A pretty girl with wavy black hair that stops at her shoulder. She has tan skin, probably from playing softball for the school. She had soft blue eyes hidden behind a pair of thick glasses, her teeth covered in silver braces. She was known as one of the prettier girls in your grade, everyone wanted to get with her. Well, everyone but you.

Chan had expressed interest in her to you before, and you felt this weird rumble in your stomach. You just dismissed it as you being hungry, and you clapped Chan on the back, encouraging him to go talk to his crush. As you watched him approach the girl, you turned back to your open locker, your eyebrows furrowed. You couldn’t understand why you were feeling so… angry. You turned your attention back to Chan, who is deep in conversation with the girl. She’s laughing at something, her arm coming up and playfully slapping Chan’s arm. You close your locker quietly and rush off to class without Chan, something you’ve never done in your life.

You were guilty. You were guilty because you hated Vanessa. You hated her because she had something you so desperately wanted, she had Chan. She got him before you did, and she makes him happy. You want to be the one to make Chan happy in that way. You want to be the one to kiss his cheek and hold his hand. You hated her for no good reason, she never did anything wrong to you. She was actually nice to you, and oftentimes tried to have a decent conversation with you. All you could really do was muster a fake smile as the ugly green head of envy consumed your being.

Considering that your birthdays were only three days apart, it only made sense to combine your birthdays together. This year was really no different. You shouldn’t be surprised when Vanessa shows up to the party, a black gift bag in her hand. She makes a beeline to Chan, who’s standing at the grill talking to his dad. She wraps her arms around Chan, giving him a kiss on the cheek, and you can hear a soft happy birthday, baby, fall from her glossy lips. You roll your eyes before you could stop yourself, looking down at the table you’re sitting at. You all of a sudden don’t want to be here, not when you can see Chan and Vanessa sucking faces just a few short feet away from you. Your younger sister must know that something is bothering you, because she walks over with a slice of cake.

“Stop moping around like an idiot, it's your birthday party too, remember?” She says, plopping down in the seat next to you, setting down her own slice of cake. You’re so glad she’s here, she always knows when something is bothering you. She always gives you something you like, rolling her eyes while telling you to, “get over it, loser.” All you can do is chuckle at her bluntness, your arms tugging her close as you hug her. She may hate when you hug her or pretend to give her a kiss, but you know she’s glad to have you as her older brother.

“I’m not moping around. I just don’t feel like celebrating, that's all.” You say, stabbing the red velvet cake with your fork, placing the small bite in your mouth as your sister lets out a scoff mixed with a laugh. You roll your eyes at her dramatics, watching as she points her plastic fork at you.

“You’re just upset that your only friend is busy with his girlfriend. You feel like this birthday isn’t for the both of you, you feel like it’s only for him.” She says, hitting the nail on the head. It makes you cringe internally.

You’ve never been good with change, whether it be drastic change or something as small as dinner plans being switched to something else. It always throws you off, making you groan dramatically (dramatics run in your family unfortunately) and complain about the sudden changes.

“I hate how well you know me, Liz.” You mutter, tugging at your hair as you indulge in the delicious cake in front of you.

“I would consider it a blessing, big bro.”

You should consider today to be a good one. Vanessa is out of town for some family trip, meaning you have Chan all to yourself. Which is why you should be happy, but you aren’t. You and Chan are chilling out in his room, the only sound in the room being Chan strumming on his guitar. You can faintly hear the hums coming from his mouth, his body swaying side to side as he plays. The two of you haven’t said much to each other, just a short greeting and a side hug. You can’t help but feel like a stranger in the room you’ve been in dozens of times growing up.

You look around the room, noticing the changes Chan has made to his space. Something pink catches the corner of your eye and you turn your head to look at it. A shirt, a tank top to be more specific. You already know whose it is, and it makes your stomach turn knowing that she’s been here.

Did she sleep in your spot on the bed?

You shake your head to get rid of the idea of her sleeping in your spot on Chan’s bed, the churning feeling becoming stronger, making you want to spill your lunch. You decide to just focus on your phone, scrolling through social media. This goes on for hours, until Chan’s phone rings loudly in the once quiet room, scaring the both of you.

“Fucking hell,” Chan mutters, grabbing his phone. He lights up when he sees who's calling, his cute dimple appearing on his face. You watch him with a soft smile, wishing that it were you making him smile like that.

“Hey, gorgeous! How’s your trip?” Chan says, holding his phone up to his ear. You try not to listen to their conversation, knowing it isn’t your place to be nosy. But, you are your mother’s son, you can’t help it. You listen as they talk, your heart breaking as Chan talks to Vanessa with such intimacy.

As their conversation comes to an end, you’re stuck with your thoughts. Thoughts of wanting someone so desperately that you would do anything to be with them. You would change every single thing about yourself if it meant Chan loved you the same way you love him. You don’t stand a chance against someone like Vanessa. She’s everything you aren’t. Maybe things would be different if you had been born a girl. If only you weren’t attracted to the same gender, maybe you wouldn’t be in this predicament. You wouldn’t be hanging on to something that will never be, a small fire of hope so close to being blown out by the harsh wind of reality.

“Man, I miss her so much.” Chan says, placing his phone down as he looks at you with this lovesick puppy look on his face. It makes your head hurt knowing it’s not directed at you.

The words spill from your lips before your brain has time to stop it.

“I love you, Chan.”

No. This isn’t supposed to happen. Not like this. Your body burns with anxiety, your eyes feeling wet as tears gather. Your mouth is dry, your jaw slack. You start to sweat as you look at Chan’s face.

You can’t deny the look in his eyes. Humiliation, disgust. Oh, no. You start to sweat, your hands shaking slightly. You can’t seem to bring yourself to do anything.You’re frozen, eyes locked on Chan as his own eyes dart around the room.

“You know I’m in a relationship, and I’m not into guys.” He says, not looking at you. What he says next makes you want to crawl into yourself and rot away into nothing. His voice is harsh, his tone like a rock. He’s never spoken to anyone like that, much less you.

“Even if I were into guys, I wouldn’t date you. You’re my best friend and you’re like a brother to me, that’s just weird.”

You can literally taste the disgust in his voice. So potent and loud, it makes you dizzy. You bite back a sob, tucking your bottom lip in between your teeth. You feel like if you attempt to even say anything, you will throw up.

“Besides, Vanessa was telling me about how you don’t like her. She said she heard you talking bad about her to your sister at our party. What the hell, Y/N?” Chan says, his expression quickly switching to angry.

You can’t believe what you’re hearing. You know she’s lying, you have never said anything bad about her. Well, not out loud. You want to defend yourself, but your mouth won’t move. Your brain is screaming at you to say something, anything. All you can do is look down at your shaking hands as Chan scoffs at you.

“You aren’t even going to deny it? So what she said must be true. I can’t believe you, Y/N! She’s never done anything wrong to you!”

You can’t even defend yourself. You sit there as Chan expresses his frustrations to you, his words hitting you hard. He hates you now. All because of some girl that entered his life two years ago, when you’ve been there the whole time.

“Get out, Y/N. I can’t even look at you right now.” Chan says, opening his door and motioning for you to get out. You hesitate, your legs feeling like the stiffest bowl of jello as you stand.

The tears don’t stop as you make your way out of the Bahng household, ignoring Chan’s mom as she greets you from the living room. She hears Chan’s door slam and she frowns. Something must have happened, the two of you have never argued. Of course the two of you had little disagreements as kids, but it was easily solved with talking and hugging. She knows this is not a talking and hugging situation.

You rush home, your vision blurry with salty tears that sting. You enter your home, making a beeline to your room. You close the door softly, not wanting to alert anyone of your arrival. You don’t want to see or speak to anyone. You try to catch your breath, choking on the sobs that come out of your mouth. You grip your chest, feeling your heart racing under your hand. Your heartbeat reverberates in your ears, your body shaking as you drop to your knees. You hear voices in your head, berating you for confessing to Chan. They call you names, they point out your flaws, your weaknesses.

You wish it would stop.

You honestly didn’t expect to meet Chan again. Especially not after your debut as a solo artist in South Korea. You recently made your debut and everyone loves you. You go by Mars, one of your nicknames growing up. You’re known for singing soft songs, the words relatable and full of emotion. Your debut album was a hit, causing you to gain fame fairly fast. Your fans liked that you were authentic, not some tasteless blob molded by an entertainment company for money. You were also one of the first openly-gay idols.

That day you left Chan’s house was the last time you ever saw him and his family. Just a few short months later, they packed up and moved to South Korea. When you found out, it broke your heart, knowing that the last interaction you had with your best friend was a negative one.

Your sister had found you in your room, you were struggling to breathe as your entire body shook. She immediately called for your mom frantically, not used to seeing you in such a panicked state. Your mother managed to get you to calm down, helping you breathe properly before you passed out. After that, she took you to see a doctor, and you were diagnosed with anxiety disorder and a mild case of depression. Your mother was supportive, she got you into therapy and you slowly got better, but there’s still times where you don’t feel 100%.

Which brings us to now. An award show. Everyone is there, all of the people you idolized were right in front of you, and a few of them actually expressed excitement about your debut album. You thanked them, telling them that their music inspired you to start making music yourself.

As you’re sitting in your seat talking to Holland, another idol under your label, and a fellow openly-gay idol, you hear some commotion coming from behind you. You turn your head and see a group approaching you. Normally, that wouldn’t bother you, but when your ex-best friend and previous (he still is) crush is in the front, you tend to freak out a bit. Your eyes go wide and you whip your head to face forward, causing a laugh from Holland.

“What’s got you so freaked out? You didn’t see a ghost, did you?” He asks, turning back to see what you were freaking out about. All he sees is the group Stray Kids, taking their seats behind you. He turns back around to you, taking in your wide eyes and the way you bite your bottom lip. The pieces start to come together.

“Oh,” he starts, “You are totally crushing on one of them.”

“What, no way! That’s ridiculous!” You sputter, your face heating up.

Holland just laughs, his hand clapping you on the shoulder.

You sit on a stool in the middle of the stage, a large piano in front of you. You are belting the words so passionately, the lights shining down on you, heating your body up, making you sweat a little. Everyone in the crowd is moved by your performance, but every time you open your eyes, you keep looking at Chan.

His face is unreadable, almost as if he knows the song is about him and not some old flame like you claimed in every interview. The lyrics just feel too familiar to him, his mind going back to his teenage years with you. He misses those times with you, laughing and messing with your little sisters. He feels bad for how things ended between you, and he wishes he could apologize. He’s heard your entire album, he’s had it on repeat for weeks. He’s not an idiot, your debut album is about him. He has to find a way to talk to you and apologize.

Finding you was easy. He catches you backstage after your performance, watching as you talk to a pretty blonde guy. You’re smiling, toothy and bright, and he feels his heart skip in his chest. Where did that come from? He walks towards you, catching your attention.

He watches your eyes go wide, your entire body freezing as you stare at him as if he grew two heads. He thinks you look silly like that, and he can’t fight the smile on his face.

“Y/N, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?” He says, mentally kicking himself for being so damn awkward.

You hesitate, your eyes looking everywhere but at him. You noticed that Holland isn’t at your side, and you remind yourself to flick his forehead when you see him. “It has.”

“Do you have a moment to talk? Maybe we can get some dinner and catch up?” He asks, his voice hopeful as he tilts his head at you. Your heart flips at the way he looks, his brown hair flopping to the side.

You wonder if this is a good idea. You could easily get hurt again, but you would also like some closure. There’s so many questions running through your head, it makes you dizzy.

“Uh, yeah, sure. Dinner sounds nice.”

You and Chan leave after the awards show, and you go to a secluded sushi restaurant. The air is awkward, but it passes quickly when Chan brings up the time you both filled his parents bathtub with frogs you captured in the mud. You can’t help but laugh, reminiscing about your wild child days.

“Y/N, I missed you. So much.” Chan says, his eyes on you, not once looking away. You feel your face get warm, and you try to fight the smile creeping onto your face.

“Chan, I missed you too. But I can’t forget how you spoke to me that day. It really hurt that you believed Vanessa over me.” You say, ignoring the aggressive bounce of your leg as you tell him how you felt that day.

Chan cringes when he hears that name. “Right, Vanessa. We actually broke up not long after I…kicked you out.” Chan says, and you gape at him.

“If you don’t mind, why did you break up?” You ask, picking at the loose strings of your sweater; a nervous habit you picked up from your anxiety.

“It turns out she lied about you being rude to her because she was jealous of how close we…were.” Chan sighs, taking a sip of his drink as he rolls his eyes. You were right all along. She wasn’t to be trusted.

“I always knew she was the jealous type. She thought I couldn’t see when she would glare at me whenever you and I would talk,” You say, pointing your chopsticks at him. “I never said anything bad about her, that was Liz.”

Chan laughs at that, knowing that your little sister had quite the attitude. It makes him miss Hannah and the rest of his family.

“You aren’t still mad at me, are you? Because according to your album, you sound like you hate me.” Chan asks. “If you aren’t mad, then I’d like us to pick up where we left off as friends.”

You thought about it for a second. You would finally have your best friend back in your life, but not in the way you truly desired. Could you live with that? Sure, it can’t be too hard. You’ll always have other people in your life.

“Yeah, we can go back to where we left off. We’re brothers for life, right?” You ask, a gentle smile on your face as you look at Chan. He smiles back and you both make a toast to rekindling a once broken friendship between brothers.

#binnies req #kpop x male reader #stray kids x male reader #kpop x reader #stray kids x reader #bang chan x reader #bang chan x you

257 notes · View notes