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wanderrlust0 · 8 months

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-.-

idk why he says nothings wrong when i ask him, when clearly something is wrong. ik how he is & when somethings up but he still denied it. i understand if he doesnt wanna get into it rn or he just wants to let it go but like in this case, i pretty much know exactly what its about that could be bothering him & the only way to put him at ease is to talk about it….again! this one specific thing triggered his mood last night & i didnt even think it would. i noticed a red scratch mark on my chest and sent him a pic saying how i think his cat made the scratch. his reply was soo serious, like i could actually feel him doubting me thru the phone. i knew he was questioning if it was really the cat bc he said how he was close to my chest the other day and didnt see anything so that is odd that theres a scratch. !! i immediately knew where his mind went & that thought didnt even occur to me when i sent that pic..like if i knew that would cause him to think of this crazy scenario then i wouldnt have sent that snap in the first place tbh bc right after that, his tone & the way he texted just shifted. hes not the best at masking his feelings like me so i can tell when the energy feels different. i also posted some pics from the hangout on my ig story & he saw it later that night. i have a feeling that added to his misery and all of today it was so prevalent, even if he denies it. idc if he says nothings wrong bc its not convincing and its not just in my head. he went from msging me all cutesy & happy to immediately being more neutral & uninterested. we always send a snap to say good morning (unless we get busy but we still send a snap with whatever we’re doing). he didnt open the app, as well as reply to my snap, until 7:15pm.. around 4 was when i asked him whats wrong (bc i already knew he was ignoring me). his response was that nothing really is wrong and how he went straight to work and his boss switched his assignment. usually id let that go but not when its already past 7 and hes firsttt opening snapchat to answer me ? and i see that hes been on instagram. also.. hes always talking to me when hes either at work already, still at home, or driving to work. the only time he goes mia like that is when something is definitely upsetting him. also!.. when that happens, he will text me after a couple hrs to let me know how hes feeling & why he was silent. he didnt always do that but i told him to bc its not fair to me by feeling like ive done something or just the feeling of purposely being ignored by my own boyfriend. but yeah.. he didnt do any of that this time BC its this whole situation again. i really dont know what more i could do to reassure him about it. i feel like ive done and am doing all that i can rn. its mostly up to him now to let himself figure it out and honestly, just trust me. like just saying.. im not gonna be making that mistake that you (both) did and be stupid with it.. and neither will snow. theyre not a “friend” its actually becoming really genuine and sweet and i wont let it get ruined bc of him doubting me. i also wont let the friendship ruin me and him. i really cant help but compare it to what he did with his friend, especially since i just found out like a month ago. i also have this suspicion that it happened earlier that yr (when we were still together) than what he told me, but i dont even wanna think about that for any longer. i was told by her Husband! that it happened when they were still in school together. that means a year before. idk if i believe that. she mightve lied, but my suspicion’s still there. like i asked him if he remembered what month and he couldnt. all he knew was that it was during our break..-.- the what.…like 1 1/2 month long break. you dont remember which month..? i sound so salty rn omg i dont mean to. im just trying to understand. ill see how he is with me tm bc we barely talked today. kind of glad i worked most of the day so i was able to keep busy and not hyper focus on him ignoring me.

#mypost #journal #continued in the comments

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99point9percentwhump · 1 year

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Final round...

Welp you challenged me so here we go..

Knocking them off.. this or that..

Off a bridge or off a cliff.

Internal bleeding or bleeding out.

Deadly disease or poisoning.

Buried alive or roasted.

Buried vertical or horizontal.

Axe in back or shot close range.

pool of shark or piranhas

Tommy gun or shot gun

Hung, drown and quartered OR ties to a cement block and shoved overboard!

Cement bath or acid bath

Tulip bulb salad or rhubarb leaf salad (don't ask how i know this)

Mummification alive or falling down a well

Wood chipper or 1000 cuts

Bungee jump gone wrong or parachute not opening.

Decapitated or cut in half.

Unicorn impalement or sword.

Scorpion sting or snake bite

Oxygen deprivation or drowning.

Ta-da!! Ain't they good ones 😈🤣

Phew that made me think 🤔🤣

Ok who the hell...... how..... what.... Jaysus honestly woman!

SIIGGHHHHHH okok fiinnnneeeee

Off a bridge or off a cliff. Off a bridge I can still save him!

Internal bleeding or bleeding out. Wow... bleeding out put the poor thing outta his misery

Deadly disease or poisoning. horrible choices.... poisoning

Buried alive or roasted. Wut.... sh!t... erm.... go roasted it might be lesser of evils here 0.0

Buried vertical or horizontal. Ohh ohh I'm so glad the direction would change how quickly the poor bastard goes asdfgh.... IDK..... does vertical even mean.... Go with horizontal cuz now Im overthinking the vertical deaths

Axe in back or shot close range. depends HOW attached I am... the former reminds me of Haldir 😭

pool of shark or piranhas so you mean one giant man eating fish or a bazzilion mini man eating fish.... Shark just get it over faster? no youd either bleed out or drown... piranhas youll prob drown first.... I have nooo idea.... go shark good God....

Tommy gun or shot gun Even in death well go the way of the mafioso Tommy gun for sure

Hung, drown and quartered OR ties to a cement block and shoved overboard! Ive seen both these.... well go the death that sorta cleans itself up cement shoes it is

Cement bath or acid bath Holy hell...... cement Im just gonna stick with mob hits rn

Tulip bulb salad or rhubarb leaf salad (don't ask how i know this) Salad.... yeah thats deadly.... feel like there is more to this question.... tulip bulb sakad gives me Midsomer Murders vibes go with that

Mummification alive or falling down a well Put him down a well hope he smashes his skull and goes the way of Richard Shapre's enemy hehe

Wood chipper or 1000 cuts .... I being the way I am prefer something to bury thats not pulped remains..... sooooo 1000 cuts

Bungee jump gone wrong or parachute not opening. People have survived parachutes not opening and been ok in the long run well give him a fighting chance

Decapitated or cut in half. the former bodies twitching I can cope with but the latter could leave them still begging or screaming after so decapitation deffo

Unicorn impalement or sword. I am a traditionalist go for sword

Scorpion sting or snake bite Snake..... I think esp if its one that kills you faster lmao

Oxygen deprivation or drowning Drowning

Well that was... an experience @whumpookies 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

#whump community #gore

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versadies · 3 years

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Hey hey!! I've been following you for a while now and I love your work sm aaa

Saw the event, I love soulmate au's 😩‼ as a gemini, may I request a gemini prompt + kaeya? Up to you who the enemy is, I trust you ^ ^

-🦚 @pavo-ocell-me

someday, one day (hc scenario)

penpal: omg hi !! im glad u love my work, i hope this is to ur liking 🙌

prompt: gemini the twins, enemy-lover soulmate au

pairing/s: kaeya x gn!reader

sypnosis: when you thought he was your enemy but is actually your lover.

includes: spoilers on diluc and kaeya's backstory, spoilers on genshin's official webtoon, violence, physical pain, burns, arguing, enthusiastic!diluc (pls take note that its canon that he USED to be like all the other pyro characters b4 his father's death.),

when you first met diluc, it felt like he was your knight in shining armor.

the first time you two met was when you accidentally fell down from your balcony after leaning too much on the railing and diluc managed to catch you bridal-style whilst he was on patrol around the city as a knight.

it truly was romantic– and a near-death experience for you.

so when you found out that his name is imprinted on your wrist, you felt ecstatic, and so did he.

since then, you two were known as the youngest soulmates who had found each other in mondstadt, people admiring your relationship with envy and happiness.

of course, you and diluc were a happy couple. although you would be lying if you said diluc is overall your type, you managed to find yourself falling in love with the man.

when crepus, diluc's father, found out about diluc's once-in-a-lifetime moment, he simply laughs and pats you and his son by your backs with a proud smile.

"by the time my son turns 18, we better make arrangements of your wedding! it's a ragnvindr tradition, after all." he comments eagerly. you honestly weren't sure if the man was joking or not.

it didn't take long before you meet his dear brother, kaeya.

when you find out his brother's name is the same as the one that's imprinted on your other wrist, being surprised is far from your reaction.

"don't worry about it, y/n." diluc reassures you one night as the two of you stroll around the city together. "i'll make sure nothing will go wrong between you and my brother. besides, you always have me, right?"

if diluc hadn't tried what he said, perhaps things would've gone differently than now.

in fear of being enemies with your future brother-in-law, you decided to avoid kaeya like a plague, giving the young man apologetic looks whenever you walk away from his presence.

as much as you're avoiding the man, you couldn't imagine hating on kaeya. every night, you always think of what can make kaeya your enemy. what is there to hate him? he's funny, chivalrous, everything that screams your type of men.

wait.. type?

your heart drops from the moment you started thinking romantic things about diluc's brother, looking behind you to see your soulmate sleeping soundly with a frown plastered on your face.

is diluc really your lover?

doubts started to cross your mind. what if diluc isn't your soulmate? what is there to prove that kaeya is your enemy? are you just overthinking things?

"i can't think about this." you murmured to yourself, pulling up your comforter before laying back down on your bed and try to fall asleep.

"i have a wedding to worry about next year."

just as you said, you did try not to think about the possibilities you have with the two brothers, distracting yourself with tasks and dates with your lover, who's quite oblivious to your problems going on inside your head.

unnoticed by you, you weren't the only one who has been burdened with your thoughts.

by the time diluc's birthday has arrived, the two of you started to get excited from your future wedding, excited to finally marry each other after years of spending your adolescence together.

you didn't expect an inconvenience during diluc and crepus's trip.

you didn't expect crepus trying to save diluc from a monster using something that no one but snezhnaya has ever heard of.

you didn't expect crepus asking diluc to put him out of his misery.

you didn't expect diluc to come strolling back to your shared home with blood stained in his clothing at a late hour.

you never, ever, expected your lover to fight his own brother when he took a visit.

and you did not expect your lover to plan on leaving you and everyone.

"what do you mean you're... you're leaving?" you ask in disbelief, staring at diluc as though he has two heads. "can't i go with you–?"

"no, this journey will be too dangerous for you–"

"this applies to you as well! you're not an immortal or some god–"

"i can do this on my own, y/n." he says with his eyes narrowed. you couldn't help but scoff in disbelief. this isn't the diluc you know and loved.

"but diluc.. isn't this too much? your father... i know crepus's death is too much but, why can't you stay?" you whispered, cupping his cheeks. "what about our wedding? the life you and i planned after your bi–"

"my father died and you're seriously thinking about our wedding?!" diluc forces your hands away from his face, glaring at you. "why can't you understand that i'm trying to find out the truth on this delusion–"

"i do understand!" you yelled out. "i do understand that you want to do this for him but what about monstadt? the knights? what about your brother–"

"HE'S NOT MY BROTHER!" he yelled, lashing out at you as you screamed in surprise when you saw fire in front of you, immediately covering your face with your arms out of reflex.

you didn't notice how your lover's eyes widens on what he did,

you couldn't notice him, not when you're too focused on the huge burns on your arms.

"oh my god..." diluc murmurs, slowly taking a few steps back as he takes a look of what he did, ignoring the sudden presence of adelaide and elzer, who both gasped from the scene.

your eyes starts to water from the intense pain, trying not to cry out and scream your heart out in fear of making your lover feel regret. you could honestly care less on what diluc is doing, all you could think about was the intense burns from your arms.

suddenly, the door was slammed open by kaeya– who was wet from the rain outside.

"what the hell did you do to them?!" kaeya exclaims, running towards you with a shocked look on his face. "i'll take you to the cathedral alright? the sisters will heal you." he whispers, wiping off the tears from your face as he wraps his arm around your shoulder and takes you towards the doors.

before diluc could let out a word from his mouth, kaeya gives him a glare.

"you may hate me for what happened," kaeya says.

"but for celestia's sake, don't ever come to them or call them your lover ever again."

that was the last time you saw diluc.

you eventually find out from the chattering nuns that the man had already left monstadt with no news of when he'll return, causing everyone to pity you and for diluc about what happened.

you were thankful that no one except the nuns found out about the incident of your arms.

throughout your stay in the cathedral, you usually find kaeya beside you, keeping an eye on you with a concerned look on his face. you honestly couldn't imagine what would've happened if the man didn't storm inside dawn winery. would diluc actually try to help you later on and leave? would you have suffered more with your injuries as he stands by watching you in disbelief?

whatever outcome you could think of, your heart ached from them all.

would diluc stayed had he been the one who tries to take care of your injuries?

either way, you knew the man is no longer the one you fell in love with from those years ago.

as years grew by, so did your friendship with kaeya.

although it was awkward from the start, you eventually warmed up to the man who you thought is your enemy, feeling more comfortable with him than before.

the two of you started having careers by then, with you having a successful career whilst kaeya becomes the calvary captain of the knights of favonius.

although the two of you are busy, you agreed to always meet each other at night in angel's share, where you drink the night away and talk about anything that comes out of your minds.

there wasn't a day when you thought about diluc.

thankfully, your burns weren't too severe and is slowly fading away throughout the years. but that doesn't mean the memories you had from it disappeared as well.

ever since that dreadful night, you started having nightmares about the incident, always finding yourself sitting up from your bed with a scared look on your face.

you wished you didn't want to see diluc this way, but you honestly couldn't bare to face him if he ever comes back to the city.

you don't see him as a lover or a friend. all he is to you at this very moment is your nightmare.

your nightmares simply washes away when kaeya comes up in your mind.

whenever you think about your so-called destined enemy, you felt comforted and safe. it was understandable really! you were touched by how he took care of you regardless of you being his "enemy".

however... now that you could think about it, the calvary captain has a lot more common with you than diluc himself. the fact that his brother made you laugh a lot and supported you in many ways made you started thinking that maybe diluc really isn't your destined lover.

your heart skips a beat from the thought of kaeya being your true lover, the smile you wore never fading away.

perhaps when you're finally starting to move on from the relationship you had with diluc, maybe... just maybe, kaeya could be the one you've been hoping for.

you started to sleep more peacefully, excited for the future that awaits.

somewhere in the calvary captain's home, the man is dreaming and hoping of you too.

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wisteriabookss · 3 years

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My ACOSF Review (2/5 Stars)

Please respect my opinions. Not everything I say will be praiseful or nice. While I liked a lot of this book, a lot of it frustrated and bothered me.

This review contains spoilers. Read at your own risk.

This review will be more of an overall impression, and I will get more in depth about certain characters in future posts.

I eventually got into the plot of the book, but I don’t think it was as great or creative as it could’ve been. I feel like SJM recycled ideas she’s already used to create the storyline. A quest to find a magic object that can stop a war and save the world? That sentence applies to both ACOWAR and ACOSF. It’s even more disappointing when you know there were other routes the plot could’ve taken but were eventually scratched. It was the perfect set up for an Illyrian mountain setting, it was written in canon, and, unsurprisingly, SJM retconned and changed it.

The Valkyrie plot was cool, if a bit forced and out of place. Nesta barely starts training, and all of a sudden she wants to recreate a powerful band of female warriors that we’ve never heard of in the context of this world? Honestly, it feels like SJM watched Thor: Ragnarok, and was like, “Yes, that’s what I’m gonna do.” I thought Helions winged horses would come into play with that, but I guess we’ll have to see.

I thought the Blood Rite plot was gone, but we got it in the end, even though it was rushed. The most beautiful parts of the book happened during the Rite, so I’m glad we got to see those.

The ending of Briallyn was so swift I literally had to go back a page to make sure I read it right. Literally one page, and she’s killed. I expected more. I can’t say I'm surprised by how rushed her death was when I knew the Feysand trouble was approaching, and the number of pages left was getting smaller. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that SJM would save Rhys, Feyre, and their baby. Out of the entire ensemble in Kingdom of Ash, she only had the heart to kill Gavriel, who wasn’t too much of a main character. There was no way in hell she would do that to Feysand.

I’m sorry, but I do not like the name Nyx. Imagine calling someone Nyx? Did she originally have it as Nick, but just needed to put an X? My eyes were rolling so hard when I read it. Just put an ‘O’ in front of it and end our misery, though I still would’ve rolled my eyes at that name too. The name just reminds me of all the blogger moms who put X’s in their child’s names for dramatic effect that ends up looking like they can’t spell.

I also didn’t appreciate the out of touch colloquialisms in this book either. Prythian doesn’t have a name for anxiety, depression, or PTSD, but they know what lactic acid means?

The amount of sex in this book was something we had been warned to expect, and I think due to the fastness of me reading this book (finished in two sittings), it made it feel like the sex was happening every other page, which it basically was. I’m not going to be mad though because a) it was well written, b) I didn’t feel like it harmed the plot too much, and c) this is the only Nessian smut we’re going to see in canon. But that threesome line with Az. . . y'all know which one I’m talking about. . . the one with the details about certain positions. . . chile um anyways let’s move on.

I called it months ago that Emerie would either be Mor or Azriel’s love interest, and looks like it’s going to be Mor. SJM’s writing is fairly predictable, especially when it comes to romantic ships, and she couldn’t have been more obvious about the two of them. I will write about Gwyn and Azriel in Azriel’s chapter review (cause that monstrosity needs a post of its own).

Now about Nesta’s healing arc. Some of it was satisfying and others were saddening. I’m happy that Nesta was able to find purpose in her life, and not believe herself to be worthless or pathetic, but strong and powerful. I’m happy she found Gwynn and Emerie; I love their friendship. I love how they stuck by each other no matter what, and saw the good and potential in one another.

However, even by the end of the book, Nesta still thinks herself as undeserving. Of Cassian, of love. She knows she has it, and she's so grateful for it, but she still believes she is undeserving of it, that Cassian is just so much better than her. A part of learning to love and live with yourself is knowing what you deserve, so why SJM took that from her character, I don’t know. I was continuously disappointed when said she was undeserving of anything, even after she had learned and grown from her mistakes.

Maybe SJM thinks the belief of being undeserving of one's partner is romantic. I’m telling you now, it’s not. All that does is give unnecessary power to a person you believe you are undeserving of, and this leads to unequal power dynamics in a relationship. Rhys was the exact same with Feyre, so I’m guessing it's a theme.

Speaking of romantic themes, the repetition of the “your mine-im yours” line in this book was nauseating. Your going to make Nesta say the exact same thing her sister said when they had sex? Is there nothing else SJM could’ve come up with? It’s just so weird. And I swear to god if I see Elain do the same thing I’m gonna vomit.

Nesta apologized to Cassian about what she said to him on Solstice in ACOFAS as if he never called her unlovable. As if he never said he didn’t understand why her sisters love her. He never apologized for that. There was so much apologizing from Nesta to Cassian about her calling him a brute, as if Cassian didn’t say he was “shackled” to her after she clearly explained how she feared she would lose her humanity if she accepted the word mate. Not if she accepted him, but the word.

For Cassian to routinely tell Nesta to, “shut her fucking mouth,” when she used some attitude against Rhys was comical. Rhys has been bad mouthing and disrespecting Nesta this whole time, and when she shows some warranted attitude in return (not even an insult), Cassian rips into her. It doesn’t matter what he did for you, babe. Not everyone has the same experience with Rhys, so Cassian getting angry when Nesta showing anger at the way she was being treated was wrong. Her experience with him does not become invalidated just because Cassian has a good relationship with him.

There wasn’t a character arc for Cassian, which was one of the most disappointing parts of the book. He thinks of himself as inferior and undeserving as well, and by the end of the book it’s not even clear if that stance has changed. We saw him grow into the courtier persona in the meeting with Eris when Tamlin shows up, but we never see it again. I know there were instances in which he stood up for Nesta, but he also very quicky after that became silent in other moments when they were insulting her. The next book isn’t in his pov, but I’m hoping we see him become more confident in himself and make a firmer stance to protect Nesta (although I doubt he’ll need to seeing as how Rhys kisses the ground she walks on now).

Now onto Nesta’s apologies to the IC. I think Nesta apologizing to Feyre was expected, and I’m glad the sisters had that moment. I am, however, upset that there was never a moment where all the sisters sat down, and hashed it out. Talked about what they’d been through, how it affected them, and how it affected their feelings toward each other. After everything that happened between Nesta and Elain, all that hurt, you’re telling me all it took was Nesta to make Elain laugh by saying “fuck you,” and we’re good? It’s lazy writing.

Elain telling Nesta that she only cared about how her trauma affected her did not sit right with me. Nesta sat by Elain’s side for weeks when she was in the thick of her struggles, and refused to leave her alone for fear that her struggles would eat her up alive. She constantly looked for anything that could help her sister, and never left her unprotected. Nesta and Elain didn’t communicate after the war, for reasons that we now know was because of Nesta’s guilt for Elain being kidnapped. It is not abnormal when a family member has been traumatized by things that have happened to another family member. That’s expected. Ask any family who has lost a child or had a relative go through something horrible.

Elain is acting as if Nesta has only ever been concerned with herself when she’s spent her entire life concerned with Elain. I made a post long ago about how the IC only wanted Nesta to heal for their sake rather than her sake, and there’s so much more evidence for that than for Elain. Elain’s healing process was able to be understood and encouraged by the IC, whereas they had no idea what to do with Nesta. So for Elain to come at Nesta for not caring about her trauma, a second after Nesta was trying to protect her from further trauma by telling her she didn't want her seering for the Trove, was unwarranted.

Speaking about Elain looking for the Trove, what happened there? Elain had this whole speech where she said she wanted to do something and no one could stop her and then we just. . . don’t hear anything about it again? SJM had a perfect opportunity to do something powerful with Elain there, and completely threw it away.

Nesta’s apology to Amren was extreme, dramatic, and honestly, unnecessary. Amren called Nesta a “pathetic waste of life,” constantly demeaned and degraded her anytime her name was mentioned, and said she did all this because Nesta used her as a shield against her problems and the IC. Seriously? Nesta using Amren as a shield does not warrant that kind of verbal abuse. It doesn't make her a pathetic waste of life. Amren’s been alive for how long? And reacts like that to an obvious side effect of extreme trauma? No ma'am. Nesta getting on her damn knees was too much, and obviously just another moment, like a lot of moments, that SJM felt the need to make dramatic. And then having the audacity to let Amren say to Nesta that, “the struggle with the darkness is worth it,” when she was one of those people who contributed to that darkness is disgusting.

I didn’t like Rhys at all in this book. Even after he saw inside Nesta’s mind about her experience in the cauldron, he was still wary and rude with her. Literally anytime Nesta showed that she was changing, Rhys didn’t change anything about his attitude or behavior towards her. A moment of regret, and then he’s back to being arrogant ass Rhys. Him not telling Feyre about the baby was also extremely stupid. It’s her body, her life, her baby’s life, his life, and she had a right to know what was happening. Not telling her because you didn’t want her to be “upset,” is a dumb excuse. I thought you always promised to let her make her own decisions, Rhys? What happened to that promise? The one that was a hell of a lot better than the stupid bargain ya’ll made? Though Nesta told her out of anger, good on her for telling her sister. Should’ve happened way sooner. His apology to Nesta was the only one that warranted the dramatics. That is what you get on your knees for.

That whole scene about him becoming High King had me throwing the book. Amren telling Rhys that the swords were some sort of mother-mary-cauldron-blessed-hallelujah sign that he was supposed to be High King had me fuming. It’s Nesta’s power. It’s Nesta’s sword. That should have never been a discussion. Not everything is for Rhys. These people are so blinded by their love for him they can’t even see how arrogant he is. To write Nesta giving back Ataraxia made me so angry after we just had a whole moment where we find out it means inner peace. I just hope that all of this is not foreshadowing Rhys becoming High King. I know you love him Sarah, but please don’t.

All in all, this book wasn’t too bad. There were some great moments and some bad moments. I think SJM’s biggest issue in her writing is that she doesn’t outline, or at least doesn't seem to outline, not thoroughly. I feel like she uses plot devices willy nilly whenever it’s the easiest solution. There was never a moment where I said, “that was clever!” A lot of it was cool, but not clever. Not creative. She also has a tendency to write very dramatically, in staccato type sentences where everything is made into a big moment, which bugs me a lot.

I love Nesta. She’s still my fav, and will probably always be my fav. This book doesn’t change that, and as you can tell in my review, most of the issues I had weren’t with her behavior, but with the behavior of other characters. I still love Cassian, even though he made me want to rip my hair out sometimes.

Will I read the next books? Probably. I can’t seem to stay away from these characters or these books, so kudos to SJM for writing them. I know a majority of people have given this book 4 or 5 stars, but I can’t bring myself to give it more than 2/5.

#nesta #cassian #nessian #acosf #a court of silver flames #sjm #nesta archeron #nesta x cassian #cassian x nesta #feysand #feyre #feyre archeron #rhysand #elain #elain archeron #amren #sarah j maas #nesta stan #nestastan

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klariwitch · 3 years

Text

You’ll Love Me Again

No one ever really mentioned all the symptoms that comes with heartbreak. For one, your heart quite literally hurt. It burned. Not in the sorts that felt like heart burn, but more so like it was falling. The feeling of weightlessness. Yet, at the same time you felt as heavy as can be. From there its just full on misery. Y’know how people will say they feel like they just got hit by a truck? Yeah. Yeah its that.

“I’m uh, how do i put this without you going all vigilante mode on me? I’m into your sister,” Kon was grinning stupidly now.

Oh!

oh.

Tim felt his heart sink and then the nausea began to settle in.

“My? My what?” Tim shook his head in disbelief. Kon didn’t like him. He liked-

“Cass. Kon likes Cass, Steph,”

“Yknow when I see him next, you best believe I’m bringing that kryptonite ring, I’m gonna-“

“I feel sick to my fucking stomach,” the Robin sobbed over the phone.

read the rest on ao3

The answering voice sighed. She still felt the shock of Tim crying on the phone with her, about a boy of all things. And, although the she wanted to slap the living shit out of the both of them, she also knew it was best to be calm and to let him cry on. “I know, I feel you Timmy, been there, done that,” she gave the phone a sad smile.

“I can’t even comprehend how that’s a thing. Seriously, Steph, how?!” His eyes seemed to bulge, one step closer to completely freaking out. He laid back on his bed, the phone still close to pressing against his ear, and salted tears running down his reddened cheeks.

He was a bat. A detective. Trained by old comics and the world’s greatest himself, batman. So, how on earth was he feeling so sunk by all these emotions? Why so much all this once? How was he to cry over the phone to Stephanie Brown over not just a boy, but the superboy. And, not just because he didn’t like him back—no, that wasn’t even able to be gotten out—but because he planned to ask out Tim’s own sister.

“Could my life really get anymore amusing, Steph? This is fucking humiliating,”

“Tim, I’m seriously so sorry this just all around sucks. Were you really planning on telling him, though?” The voice questioned over the device.

“Yes,” the boy cringed, “ I had a whole speech planned out to tell him tonight. Talk about bad timing,” his breath slowed. Without all the tears now, he felt tired. So completely drained for ever believing his best friend would ever see him much more than just that. Best friends.

“Why don’t you just spend some time away from him? Not exactly to cut off all contact, but more so just hanging out less? Maybe start making up excuses like Bruce needs you working on a case more, or that your parents have been home?” She suggested.

Actually, it wasn’t the worst idea, either. Kon would be okay with him being busy, and in the meantime he would take that step back and convince himself Kon wasn’t really the one.

“You’re right,”

“I am, aren’t I? Y’know it actually feels really nice to hear you say that for once, maybe just once more?” The girl pressed playfully.

He scoffed. “Yeah wouldn’t you like that?” The Robins teased one another, after all she could always make him feel better. “Alright, I think I have to call it a night. I’m gonna go throw up and then to bed.” He wasn’t lying, either. For whatever reason after speaking to Conner his head hurt like hell and his stomach carried what felt like a flu virus.

“Goodnight, Tim,”

“Night, Steph,”

*****

“Well,”

“Well?”

“It’s been about a month,”

“Tim,”

“I think I’m actually okay this time. I don’t feel so achey around him anymore! I told you we met up after patrol tonight!” The boy exclaimed over the line, a smile captured on his lips.

“Okay, so, it went alright, then?” Steph asked. She cringed a bit. No way his feelings where just poof gone.

“Steph, it went great,” assured Tim. “I think we plan on doing the same thing tomorrow...it just nice to have my best friend back, yknow?”

“Tim, it’s really okay if you still need time, you know that, right?”

“Steph. I promise. I’m okay, my feelings for Kon are completely gone,”

*****

“You’re here on time” the boy in front of him called. A small chuckle arose, “did bats let you off early?”

“Yes, actually, how’d you know?” Tim smiled. He sat down right beside him on the edge of the rooftop. Ironically, sitting on top of a fifteen story building, next to a superhuman somehow managed to be the spot he always felt the safest. He assumed, it was all about the trust. All about a matter of not having to worry that Kon might decide to push him overboard unexpectedly, or even if the building suddenly gave out. The only fault there was, why did he still have that trust for him? Admittedly, Kon had never exactly tried to send him soaring off a rooftop, but wasn’t heart break a close equivalent?

“Tim?” The familiar hand waved in his face. Tim carefully swatted it away.

“What?”

“I asked you how your day was?”

“Oh,” Tim nodded. He even looked down as if his fingers might curate him the perfect move. Spoiler alert: they did not. “It was…well, I mean kind of slow? Patrol and all that,” the last bit came out as a mutter. Why was he there, again? Honestly, he couldn’t even look at him now. He had thought he was fine, really he did, but what exactly did fine mean? Ignorance, in this case.

The only problem was, he just couldn’t let go. In movies and literature it was always so much easier, because it just always works out for them. They have a promised happy ending. For Tim, none of that was a guarantee.

It was like..insurance. insurance that he did not have. Because, even when the character didn’t end up with their love, they still found something great—like a new person or happiness. And now, all happiness was looking like without Kon was a cold bottle of chardonnay stolen from his mother’s wine cabinet.

“Are you okay?” Kon asked then. His face carried worry and all kinds of fear.

Shit

shit

‘Don’t make me lie to you’ The shorter boy thought. He didn’t want to, it honestly wasn’t something he could find the energy for anymore. “I, uh,” he felt his phone vibrate under his thigh. He didn’t answer it, it would only be Steph wanting to know what was happening.

“What is it, Rob? Spit it out,” the meta pushed, a cheerful smile forming his face.

“I…don’t think I can?” Answered Tim.

“Huh, well, why not? Its okay, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

The raven haired boy just stared at him, mouth split open stupidly. “Right! Right. Yes, I know that,” he nodded.

“So?”

“Right…” he bit his lip till blood arose and the feeling of confidence came beside it. “Could I, show you, instead?” He requested.

“Sure? I mean, yeah. Of course you can, anything that helps,” Kon nodded willingly.

Was he really going to do that? Where was some sort of memory wiper when you needed it? He’d do anything to redo the last ten minutes.

He sighed. Was he really about to do this? In all fairness, he had been wanting to for some time. Okay, he’d do it. Okay. Maybe not? “Y’know what?” Tim turned. they were closer than he had thought they were. No going back now, right? He laughed sickly, “fuck it.” Evenly, his face melted to a smile as he leaned him, pressing his lips ever so gently against Kon’s.

He couldn’t believe it. He was kissing Kon. His best friend. The boy who unknowingly broke his heart just months ago. This was...unbelievable. It always seemed like it was so incredibly out of reach and get here he was now, kissing him. Did that mean Kon really did like-

“Woah,” and just like that he was pushed away. He’d have to fight through the tears at an arms length distance now. “Hey, sorry, Tim I’m flattered, really, it’s just-“

“Okay, look, I probably should have waited, I just, I don’t know? Ever since you were talking about Cass I just couldn’t get you off my mind, and that’s why I stayed away for so long. Look, most people can just watch, too Kon. Most can just love from afar and wait. Im sorry, but I can’t do that. Im not that person, okay? I’m selfish. So selfish. I hate that I am and i’m sorry, but I can’t just watch, okay? I can’t,” Tim heaved a breath. He wanted to get it all out so bad and now he had spoiled the vibe. “Im sorry to burst your perfect little bubble, I just fucking can’t. Now I see it was a mistake too, because i thought you liked me back. I really did,” his lip bled. Biting too hard again? “You just don’t get it, okay? We’re supposed to be together. Everyone thinks so. We’re best friends, Kon. We’re the beautiful love story. Look, I’ve been telling myself that forever, and you’re just supposed to feel the same,” he shrugged. Just as if it was no big deal.

Kon groaned. He considered for a moment to grab ok to his hands but for obvious reasons that wasn’t exactly appropriate. “Tim. Hey, you don’t have to apologize. Im glad you told me. To be honest, I kind of like you too,”

“Wait, really?” Tim smiled, searching the meta’s face for any truth.

“What? Are you even listening to me? Tim, I’m sorry but I can’t be apart of your little fantasy..” It was clear it pained his friend to say al this. “We’re not some sort of destined couple or whatever you think we are. It just doesn’t work that way, okay?”

Oh. So, not as he expected.

Right

“Well, why not?” The Robin urged, hurt growing in his blue eyes.

“I’m dating Cass,” breathed Kon. “Look, we were going to tell you tomorrow but then all of this happened...I’m sorry, I should have told you,”

Ouch. Fuck. Again?

“Right,” was all he could mutter. “I’m uh. I’m sorry, Kon,” he had to leave. Had to get out of there fire his eyelids broke like dams and he had to muffle his own screams. “I think I’m going to head out, actually..goodnight, Kon,” Tim sighed. He walked off then, taking deep breaths to help ignore the boy calling his name behind him. He could catch him if he wanted to. Easily. Obviously he didn’t want to. Kon loved Cass...not Tim.

****

“I kissed him,”

“You what?!” The voice over the phone sounded livid.

“Yeah, yeah I know stupid, right?” Tim sighed. He sat on his bed, holding a chilled glass of chardonnay, just as he had promised himself.

“Im guessing it didn’t go so well?”

He could hear her cringe over the phone. Tim didn’t respond. Instead, he simply sipped his drink: dry. This one was eruopean as were most of the others, rolled in oak barrels and some sort of fruit. It was like drinking Kon’s scent. Whatever cheap cologne he decided to douce himself in every morning some how crawled its way into his head to torture him. He set the glass down.

“Im sorry, Tim, you really-”

“Its okay, Steph, really,” insisted Tim, having cut her off.

“Is it?” The girl asked genuinely.

“Yes. I’ve decided I cannot change it, so yes, its fine,”

“Wow. Okay. Thats, that’s actually very mature of you,”

The robin nodded, although obviously not visible.

“Goodnight, Steph,” he called into the phone.

“Goodnight, Tim,” she huffed back, right before leaving him in inconsiderable silence.

The boy picked up the wine glass again. He stared deeply into the few bubbled and cringed with the inhale of smoke and aged French oak.

“You’re really messing with my mind, huh, Conner Kent?”

Tim glanced around. His room was gloomy. sad. Dimmed. He wished for Kon to come light it up a bit, yet he didn’t. They’d be apart for now, but he’d turn around eventually. He would get his fantasy.

#timkon #kon el #Tim Drake #kontim #Stephanie Brown #cassandra cain #Red Robin #Superboy #timkon ao3 feed #dunneltag879 #ao3 #timkon ao3

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p1nkwitch · 3 years

Note

I have plenty of questions about your fanfics I don't even know when to start. Can I just name every one of them and send you star with it?

But please tell me something interesting funfact behind Heart Machinations? Also were you at some point considering bad/different ending?

i think i would never finish writing if you did send me all of them even with the star, i ramble a lot and go on tangents, but if you send them like 3 fics per day i can make it i promise.

Ok to start! Nope! This was the story where i literally envisioned the ending first and had to go backwards to write it. The ending was solid.

But for fun facts!! Oh boy.

This entire story begun with the idea of a one shot, with a slight different plot, it would have ended with Peter as an old man uploading his mind like he promised Elias in the fic and coming back as an Ai, to stay with Elias for as long as they could. I ended up switching things arounf in my head until i ended up with the image.

The thing that started this entire fic.

Peter floating in space with Elias declaring his love.

I was forced by the entire story to find ways to keep them from confessing earlier than intended. God did i regret having to put it so later, because the mental flips i needed to justify them not realizing, were driving me up to a wall.

Another thing that i was not aiming for, but ended up liking was the TimPeter, i didnt aim for it to be a plot point, i didnt even ship them, but i wrote them so well i actually hesitated. Not to the Elias romance with Peter that was a given, but i hesitated to actually make a policule out of everyone.

In the end i decided to go for my original plan, but it had been a posibility.

Most of the relationships surged as the soty progressed, because i realized if it was only them it would get boring so i started to shuffle characters and relationships and it worked far better than i intended.

Now the other interesting tidbit.

Was that originally i was intending for Elias to be the actual big bad, a la Glados in portal. Elias tricks Tim and Peter into thinking Jon went rouge and he got Leitner killed so Peter connects him, Elias pretends things are normal but sends him off to rrepair something outside, once Peter is safe he uses the gas to kill everyone who is not going to be sent to do experiments in the hidden labs.

Martin opens the door for Peter makes him help by trying Elias like the original one did to get himshut down. He realizes and hurt tries to attack him, Martin uses the portal door and Peter still tries to hold unto Elias, but they ended up slipping and going into space.

The Simon plot point was always going to be there, same as the oxygen and confession.They apologize and everything.

In fact Peter was never supposed to realize Elias was killing people until he takes over. I realized it would be impossible to keep him in the dark for so long along with the not confessing so i had to give one up for the story and i was set on my ways.

The more i developed them, the more i started to change the plot to fit better with the new narrative wanting it to be more satisfiying.

Something else that i changed in the story, was that after Leitner dies, Gertrude was supposed to come to check the station, Elias sees her and gets her killed. It did not pan out of course, because i considered it would be too out of nowhere.

When i realize the story was sort of getting shifted i went with the idea to switch the notSasha on its head. Which created lovely Pasha!! Whom i love a lot.

Another thing that i had to develop because i grew very fond of it were Missy and Titania. Particularly Missy, since Titania was a stand in for the vast in some ways. Missy was needed to provide Peter some form of love, since yes, i made the Lukas terrible people, but a child still needs some love to grow and i wanted someone to help with that since Simon couldnt. I love her a lot and honestly wish i could use her in more stories because she is a great character. I know people dont really are in it for the original characters but she is dear to me.

The honest to god most fun i had during the story was writting the chats between the characters and the moments where Elias and Peter where being horny for each other. Peter freaking out silently about the things Elias said, while Elias was being the most horny creature in the station was delightful.

My favourite parts were also writing Elias realizing that he ruined Peter, that he had caused his misery, i wish i could have gone harder on those. Because they are a great part of his motivations. He starst not caring but the more he falls in love, the more he realizes how much of a horrible person he is and how much he is hurting Peter. I love that, i put it before but i like making characters go though bad stuff to get them to the good, to get that catharsis after all the bad.

I wanted to do a bonus. Where Peter does go to Simon’s funeral and everyone has to sit there while Android Simon was just chilling giving his own eulogy.

One thing i sort of chikened out of, but left crumbs around was the plot point that ogElias and Micheal Shelley were dating. Thats why Elias had the picture and writings about him. They split due to Gertrude and Elias defending JON4H. Its why Elias could keep Helen so easily to raise her. She calls him uncle, because they had broken up and he felt he didnt deserve to take that from Micheal.

Currently they made up and since Elias was single they are patching things up, Helen was thrilled.

This is also the story where the cats appear. And im so glad for it.

Captain was an idea based on the au of another fic i love Timeline of Theseus, i just pictured Peter getting the cat and voila. (No, there is no cat in there, but it would had been so funny) They were foils, Elias has a lonely cat and Peter a beholding one. They fall in love. I like that.

Thats all i can remember now. Nikola was always also a plot point, i mean who else would make androids but the puppet herself! Since ideally i intended for Elias to get a body, it was supposed to happen.

I went off, but i really did have a lot of ideas and scrapped ones that i figured no one would see. Im happy i could just leave them out to the world!!

So yes ask away, but as you can see, i sort of go off. Thanks for asking!!!! I hope its what you wanted. Sorry if it goes all over the place.

#ask #i went off im sorry #but seriously i had to scrap so many ideas #and adjust them later

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roguestarsailor · 4 years

Text

thoughts on a court of mist and fury *spoilers*

***** lots of spoilers folks *****

- MY GIRL FEYRE IS READING!! SHES READING LIKE REGULARLY AND CASUALLY IM SO PROUD

- RHYSAND MY LOVE I TAKE BACK ALL THE BAD THINGS I SAID IN BOOK ONE AND YOU ARE A BABY THAT NEEDS TO BE LOVED AND PROTECTED AND DESERVE PEACE AND QUIET AND MORE LOVE

- tamlin needs therapy like pronto; we dont stan a unsupportive partner and partner who is unwilling to share pain!! CANCEL TAMLIN 2020

- rhys popping up during the wedding scene was *chef’s kiss* and i noticed that he didn’t “claim” her as he said he would for like three months after everything. i suspect he was being a good person and literally letting her live her life. also for loving someone, tamlin was super chill and just kind of let her go??? idk i thought there would be more of a fight??? when feyre was literally like why are your claws retracting man?? fight for me??? hello??? but then again rhys is definitely more powerful than tamlin and probs some unspoken laws and such between high lords i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ anyways tamlin aint shit

- page 296-298! fucken shook me to my core. that self awareness, that confrontation, she identified the core of everything and it was such a turning point and im just so proud of her!!! She's recognizing her traumas and is healing!!!!!!!!!!

- yeah i immediately ship cassian and nesta; i hope she fucks shit up in the next book 😀 😀 😀 😀

- maybe az and mor are truly the slowest of slow burns ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- i pictured pollution from good omens as how Amren is suppose to look like

- rhys is such a strong leader and im just -- baby deserves all the love. He's really good at plotting. He really made feyre learn all these things so they can nurture their love but also be a strategic advantage its interesting that even tho theres love there he still treats her like a weapon

- the joy in his rhys eyes when they winnowed into his regular ass town house that feels super lived in. and his friends banging on the door like he isn’t the feared night court high lord that he is. that was so refreshing to see that hes a regular person and not that high lord man who lives in a near empty mansion. he puts on a mask for everyone but he himself is just a regular fae.

- reading about the peace that velaris was able to live through was beautiful. i imagined a city like san francisco with the hills and views of the ocean but kind of like the peace found in super small towns or cities in asia; maybe even some european cities (which is prob where this location is inspired by but i haven’t visited many euro cities). the scenes of ppl dining out, making art and music and just chilling is so lovely esp given our current pandemic. art is so treasured there and im like thats the epitome of a great society isn’t it? being able to do things because you just can without the pain of financial insecurity, civil unrest, etc. i definitely would love and die and for a society like that. its just so wonderful. i was filled w happiness while reading those scenes. :)

- rhys and his inner circle taking feyre out into the town and just being casual. nobody treats them like theyre royalty or anything special. theyre just a regular group of friends who enjoy hanging out. its super nice and nostalgia inducing esp during this pandemic when friends are so far away and not like it used to be.

- when rhys immediately saw how under weight and dead freye looked when she was in spring court -- AND IT WAS THE FIRST THING HE SAID TO HER WHEN HE SAW HER THROUGH THE DOOR WHILE TAMLIN DIDNT FUCKEN NOTICE

- i also take back my frustrations in book 1 when freye always wondering around the grounds in spring court esp during calanmai. i thought it was because the author needed to move the story forward but its just freye. she doesnt sit still and now that shes w rhys, we are seeing soooooo many things about prythian and thats beautiful. tamlin was truly a hinderance huh

- rhys sent her music when she was in the cell in Under The Mountain which was found in velaris. maybe he wasnt risking a lot but he just showed her a glimpse of the forbidden world right under aramantha’s nose holy shit he saved her from destruction!

- when rhys had his nightmare and feyre came to comfort him and kissed him on the cheeks and gave him such tenderness made my heart sing~

- rhys is literally opposite of tamlin is soooo many ways. RHYS DID THINGS OUT OF LOVE, WHILE TAMLIN DID THINGS FOR LOVE. everything from how rhys made sure feyre can grow into who she is meant to be, to how he introduces her to his friends and how he interacts w everyone in his court, how he handles pain, everything is so different than tamlin. tamlin feels pain and just bulldoze over things, doesn’t think about how his actions are hurting others even as he is hurting. he doesn’t talk, he doesn’t share, he doesn’t try to get himself or feyre out of this misery and just sees threats everywhere and hits them. he was also supper passive honestly. no doubt hes riddled w guilt and grief but can’t figure out how to handle it so he uses feyre as his crutch where if he can “save” her he will be free smh

- rhys PAYS feyre!! HE GAVE HER FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE AND RESPECT FOR HER WORK!! THE INDEPENDENCE THAT TAMLIN DIDNT FUCKEN GIVE.

- THOSE NOTES THEY SEND TO EACH OTHER SINCE FREYE CAN READ AND WRITE NOW

- Ianthe was sus from the beginning!! i knew it!! although i did bet she was gonna sleep w tamlin on the side. But she's a lot worst so we don't like her either

- the throne room scene was steamy af this time its fine because there was ~consent~ and also because we see the dynamic and growth between the two and how they work together. this was great although I was kind of like pls get a room tho

- RHYS SMILING!!! FEYRE AND RHYS LAUGHING TOGETHER UGH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

- THEY ARE MATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FEYRE AND RHYS FOUND EACH OTHER AND HAD SO MANY SHARED TRAUMAS AND WORKED IT OUT TOGETHER AND GREW TOGETHER AND LEARNED ABOUT EACH OTHERS QUIRKS AND ITS JUST LOVE IN ITS PUREST FORM UGH THAT SCENE WHERE RHYS WAS CRYING AND FEYRE HEATED UP FOOD FOR THE BABY AHH MY HEARTTTTT MY WHOLE ENTIRE HEARTTTTTT IS BURSTING WITH LOVEEEEEE

- LUCIEN AND ELAINE HOLY FUCK WHAT A LEFT FIELDER i hope this is the push that will propel lucien to defy tamlin. going back to the contrast between how tamlin vs his court and rhys vs his court, rhys has a group of unwavering loyal friends and are treated equally esp letting them joke around so much and it feels like a casual group of friends hanging out. tamlin has just as much loyalty from lucien but theres still a power structure that tamlin maintains. luciens words doesn’t have much weight whereas rhys’s friends do. both tamlin and rhys have so much power and sway and similarity in traumas and tragedy but both execute things completely differently. tamlin only wants to upload what he is familiar with, maybe what he thinks his father wants whereas rhys actively tries to think of something better, to change the system regardless of how hard it is.

- tamlin you dumbass. He didn't learn from amarantha. He again let his pride fuck over a bunch of other ppl. He shat on amarantha and fucked over his court. Now he fucked the rest of prythian and human world by bargaining w the king. Smh goodbye tamlin

- I straight up knew the queens were bad!!! I knew they had to be plotting something. The sixth is "ill" my ass.

- LADY OF THE NIGHT COURT LETS GO FEYRE AND WOOWW WE STAN A MAN BREAKING TRADITIONS AND SUPPORTING EQUALITY

- when hybern was destroying velaris. I WAS GONNA THROW HANDS BRO. I'm glad we saw the extend of how powerful feyre could be and how she was clever and we can really see how she's completely different from before. She has bite and fight in her and it's so refreshing!

- how about we let az and cassian live in peace. Those boys had to deal w the blunt of literally everything. from being the only shield in valeris to poison/hurt wings against the king, just beat up all the time 🥺

- suriel is their version of a wikipedia

I read all 600 damn pages in like 2.5 days and I was loving it the entire time! My heart sored when feyre and Rhys were getting close and starting to break down their walls and really connect. This was a truly good enemies to lovers, slow burn tale and the drama is so great. There were good stakes that changes a character and their behavior and a good balance of action and excitement but at the same time so many little moments that let u see the character and how they interact w each other and the world. a lot of big plot moments, slice of life moments, a bit of romance and comedy. overall, an amazing book but super long. thus far this is my favorite book and im hoping the rest of the books can be just as charming and lovely but not too heart breaking. i hope rhys and feyre makes it. i cannot predict what to expect in the other books in the series (isn’t there gonna be 8 books total???)

#amandathoughts #bookthoughts #acotar #acomaf #a court of mist and fury #a court of thorns and roses #book 2 #sarah j maas #acomaf thoughts #i said a lot because this book had so much content #acotr #amandabookthoughts #feyre #rhysand #feyre archeron #feyre x rhysand

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fanficsrusz · 5 years

Text

Lost in translation - Keanu Reeves Oneshot

A/n: requested by anon and this one is super short but sometimes short and sweet is better. Also i dont speak Portuguese and so im soooooooooooooo sorry if its the wrong word. Blame google. If it is wrong then please tell me and i will correct it.

_________

Keanu laid in bed, the warm summer breeze blew through the open window as he admired the women at the end of the bed.

He couldn't help but smile as he watched her flick her head upside down and brush her beautiful locks out.

"urg i hate my hair" she moaned and keanu laughed as the girl continued to struggle with the matted mess on her head.

"y/n come here, what's the problem?" he patted the edge of the bed and watched as y/n stood up straight, her hair falling messily around her face as she stomped her way over to him.

"I can't deal with all this hair. Its to hot" she moaned and keanu just hummed as he pushed the girl to sit in front of him. He took the brush from her hand and began to gently brush the ends out as the girl continued to rant.

Keanu ignored the girl and thought about how lucky he had been to meet y/n.

Honestly, he didn't want to go to that party last year but he was so glad he did. When he first saw her he was starstruck.

Through talking to a few people he had found out that her name was y/n and she was from Brazil. After a while of staring at the girl from across the room, he had somehow managed to gather enough courage to go over and talk.

Her beauty was indescribable and her voice was smooth like honey, the cute accent she had was soothing to him and he could listen to her talk for hours.

He fell for her instantly and he knew he wanted to be with her and so he asked her out which she accepted.

"hey" keanu was snapped back into the world when y/n clicked her fingers in front of his face, a small laugh escaped her mouth as keanus brown orbs widened at the sudden realisation he had been zoned out for the past God knows how long.

She turned to face him as she spoke "were you even listening to me? what were you….. Umm…what's the word again? Wait" she screwed up face as she searched through her mind trying to find the word she was looking for.

It was no lie that y/n was smart but she still managed to get stuck on stupid little things, especially random things like this.

"do you mean-" keanu wanted to help the girl but y/n placed her finger on his lips shushing him "NO! I know the word. Don't tell me." she held her head in her hands as she thought. She was so stubborn but keanu loved the way her face looked when she concentrated.

"I know this word. Its Devanear in Portuguese. Devanear. Devanear" she repeated the word several times as if it would suddenly help her remember the word in english. Keanu watched on as the girl was becoming more and more irritated. The way she concentrated so hard made keanu smile and so he reached out for the girls arm, wanting to put her out of her misery.

Y/n looked up at him as he pulled her over to him. "maybe this will help you remember" he whispered and placed a small kiss onto her lips. He moved his lips slowly against hers as he felt her smile into the kiss.

As he continued the kiss, y/n pushed him back onto the bed as she straddled him lap.

The kiss deepened as keanu slipped him tongue into her mouth, exploring each bump and memorising it for later.

Y/n suddenly slapped his chest as she pushed herself away from him and keanu pulled back holding his chest. "ow" he laughed "what was that for".

"DAYDREAM" y/n threw her hands up triumphantly "the word is daydream".

Keanu watched as y/n gave a little victory dance before she stopped, looking down at keanus smiling face. She pushed her hand under his shirt and traced over the scar on his stomach. She watched as his body stiffened under her touch.

"I should really reward you for helping me" her eyes darkened and she moved closer to him, slowly kissing up his neck and stopping just before his ear. keanu just smirked knowing exactly where this would go. "I definitely think you should"

The end

________

Taglist

@gwenebear @celestiaelisia @blondieee-me

#keanu reeves #keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves imagine #john wick oc #john wick #john wick x you #john wick x reader #john wick imagine #Oneshot

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wwounu · 5 years

Note

Yesss Keags! You absolute genius! as everything crumbles around him, he dreams about the Reader bc they are his safe space. And he learns he has the power to create as much as he can destroy also. So he puts it to his advantage to do just that with the Reader. And ahh the fluff after the angst bc our baby finds his self confidence. & you can see him and reader traveling bw the two worlds helping every way they can. & nonu teaching little ones like him that it's good to be different. 🥺😭 -🍰

*bare with me

okokok so

wonwoo is obviously in bad condition and everything around him is just crumbling to bits

and all he wants to do is see you but hes scared he’ll hurt you without realising it so which is why he hides away

and everyone who comes across him is wished away to god knows where

but his power temps him to do bad things but the wonwoo thats still there still holds on and tries his best to stay away from that danger as much as possible to keep others safe

but its too much for him

he wants the pain to go away but it hurts so much and he wants to hurt everyone who has ever hurt him

And it only causes more pain to come and hes honestly tired of it all and the only thing that calms him down is thinking about his bookstore, his family and you

so he cries himself to sleep in isolated destruction

however in his dream he dreams of you and he feels happy as if hes lived in misery all of his life

and you say ‘do you want to stay with me, wonwoo? Forever?’

and wonwoo, whos still in love, says the quietest ‘yes’

and youre like ‘okay’ before you push him with the slightest touch and he falls backwards and its strange

its first through hell, then the celestial world, then his bookshop, then into darkness

and hes like ‘not... not again— im scared, please’

and wonwoo wakes up with tears in his eyes and sits up

but hes in a bright, clean room and says ‘huh?’ in a tiny voice

And his condition is still the same, wrecked and damaged and the dominant voices are tempting him to do soemthing he’ll regret

it gets too much before you come into the room because he’s in your bedroom in your apartment

and you just. Drop everything and jump on him

he winces, hurt, but is too shocked to process this all

to process y o u

and he genuinely foesnt believe it until youre like ‘youre here’

wonwoo: here? ive only been gone for two days...

then you pull wonwoo away, confused as you say

‘wonwoo... its been three months’

and you look absolutely wrecked by saying that fact and wonwoo has completely forgot about the day rotations in the real world and the celestial one bc they work weirdly

but you dont go further and point at an open window blowing in cold air and youre like

‘Ive kept it open every night hoping youd come back through it... i even left the light on and your favourite book with one of your pot plants in the library’

and wonwoo starts to cry because this is the most sentimental thing someone has done for him and he holds you tight while dangerously sobbing

even though youd recoprocate the hug, there was something hanging to the hug that wasn’t wonwoo

anyway wonwoo says ‘please, the world is so cruel to me, i... i just want to be with you, i want it to only be us two—‘

hes shaking but the room also begins to shake and youre getting scared, figuring out that wonwoo is probably doing this all

so you stop him and go, hold on wonwoo, listen

and you pat his tear stained cheeks and hes just like a sad kitty just wsnting to be loved, with his broken wings that are classified as impure and disgusting, his whole being classed as disgusting

the shaking stops a little but you can see correlations between wonwoo wincing when the shaking intensifies

and you simply just ask ‘whats happened?’

and he explains about his power and how he feels like he cant be in control and its like hes in the passenger seat of all of this

he cant go on because it makes him sob more and youre just wiping away his tears one by one, letting him take his time

then you say how you’ll protect wonwoo through the good and bad, that hes stronger than this force because theres still that good in him which knows whats right and that it doesnt change anything about how you feel about him

wonwoo: what if i hurt you?

you: i’ll be okay, you’ll save me at the end of the day

he goes on how he cant control it but one touch from you and he’s automatically calmed, breathing steady and the room stopped from trembling

and wonwoo smiles, crying again this crybabyboy before he eventually sleeps next to you, your apartment room having itself stop shaking and glad that your angel is by your side again, playing with his feathers because it helps him fall asleep

OR LIKE (im sorry this is so long djdhs) he disappears for a while in his world of destruction in order to protext the reader, but he’s still observing over them as they do their day to day things, and he wishes small favours to make their day and help them but on the other hand wonwoo thinks they’ve had their memory wiped by the angels and demons, when in reality the angels and demons kept the readers memory because the fear over wonwoo’s power and what he’ll do to them, so whenever wonwoo isnt paying attention the reader is always doing things for wonwoo because they miss them, like opening their window everynight, driving past the bookstore to make sure its in shape, taking a plant or two or all to water and care for them, play with one of wonwoo’s feathers that fell from his wings in their wallet, small things like that which wonwoo doesnt notice and its :((( but they eventually find their way together again bc lbr theyre fated to be

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the-desolated-quill · 5 years

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Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2018

Congratulations dear reader. You survived 2018. And you know what that means. It’s time for another best of/worst of list. Welcome to Quill’s Swill 2018. A giant septic tank for the various shit the entertainment industry produced over the course of the year. The films, games, TV shows and various other media that got on my bad side. As always please bear in mind that this is only my subjective opinion (if you happen to like any of the things on this list, good for you. I’m glad someone did) and that obviously I haven’t seen everything 2018 has to offer for one reason or another. In other words, sorry that Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald isn’t on here. I’m sure it is as terrible as some have been suggesting. I just never got around to watching it.

Okay everyone. Grab your breathing masks and put on your rubber gloves. Let’s dive into this shit pile.

Hold The Sunset

The news that John Cleese would be returning to the world of BBC sitcoms was incredibly exciting, being a massive Fawlty Towers fan and all. Unfortunately Hold The Sunset was not quite what I had in mind. It’s one of those rare breed of situation comedies that chooses to offer no actual comedy. It’s not a sitcom. It’s a sit. Like Scrubs or The Big Bang Theory.

An elderly couple plan to elope abroad only for Alison Steadman’s son to barge in, having left his wife, and forcing them to put their plans on hold. Hence the title ‘Hold The Sunset.’ It’s like a cross between As Time Goes By and Sorry, but if all the humour and relatability were surgically removed by a deadpan mortician. The characters are weak, the plots are thin on the ground and the humour (hat little of it there is) feel incredibly dated. The middle aged mummy’s boy is something that hasn’t been funny since the 90s. It’s an utter waste of great talent and what hurts even more is that this tripe is actually getting a second series. I can only assume the people watching this are comatose. Either that or there’s an epidemic of people in Britain who have lost the remote.

Avengers: Infinity War

Yes this is one of the worst movies of 2018 and no I don’t regret saying that one little bit. Avengers: Infinity War was fucking terrible. Period. There were too many plots and characters going on, which made the film hard to follow (and what staggers me is that the so called ‘professional’ critics have condemned movies for having too many characters and plots before. Spider-Man 3, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Batman vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice and even Deadpool 2. But because this is an MCU movie, it gets a free pass. Fuck off). The characterisation was weak due to sheer number of characters they try to juggle, resulting in characters coming off as one dimensional caricatures of themselves and scenes where characters such as Iron Man, Doctor Strange and Star-Lord sound completely interchangeable. The villain, Thanos, is a stupidly and poorly written villain, but that’s hardly surprising considering what a shit job Marvel have done building him up over the course of these 20+ movies. And let’s not forget that pisstake ending. A bunch of prominent Marvel characters die and it’s all very, very sad... except all these characters just so happen to have sequels planned, which makes this ending fucking pointless and have less impact than a feather on a bouncy castle.

I don’t know which is more shocking. That Marvel and Disney think their audience are that stupid and gullible, or that their audience are actually validating their view. Fuck you Disney.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery

I’ve always wanted a Harry Potter RPG, where you could customise your character, choose your house and actually live a full school life at Hogwarts. This year, Warner Bros and Jam City gave us just that.

That was a mistake.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery is the epitome of everything that’s wrong with the mobile gaming market right now. The gameplay is boring and involving where you just tap images on a screen until a progress bar fills up. Wizard duels are little more than rock-paper-scissors challenges that require no kind of skill. Bonding with friends and caring for magical creatures just consist of pathetically simple pop quizzes and yet more boring tapping. Oh and of course you only get a certain amount of energy to complete these tedious tasks. If you run out of energy, you wait for it to fill up... or pay up for the privilege. So determined are they to extract your hard earned cash from your wallet, there’s actually a bit where Devil’s Snare strangles your eleven year old avatar and the game effectively tries to guilt trip you into paying micro-transactions to save them. It’s sleazy, gross and manipulative. Honestly, you’re better off just playing Candy Crush.

Agony

When the developers of this game said they wanted to give the player a trip through Hell, they had no idea how true that statement really was. Agony is dreadful on a number of levels. The design for Hell itself, while visually interesting at times, is often not very practical and gets quite dull and repetitive after a while. The stealth mechanics are a joke and the AI of your demonic enemies are pitiful. All of this alone would have been enough to put this game on the list, but then we also have the casual misogyny. Agony is a gorefest trying desperately to shock the player. We see men and woman get tortured, but it’s the women that often get the extreme end. The violence inflicted on them is often sexual in nature and the game seems to go out of its way to degrade and dehumanise women at every turn. The orgasmic cries of ‘pull it out’ quickly become a staple of the game’s experience as we see naked women raped, tortured and murdered, all for the purposes of ‘entertainment.’

I would call Agony sexist, but honestly that would be giving it too much credit. Agony is like a little child trying desperately to be all dark and edgy in a pathetic attempt to impress everyone around him, and we should treat it as such. Go to your room Agony. No ice cream for you.

Peter Rabbit

If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of Beatrix Potter rotating in her grave.

Yes we have yet another live action/CGI hybrid, but instead of something innocuous like the Smurfs or Alvin and the Chipmunks, Sony instead decides to adapt Peter Rabbit, with James Corden in the title role.

It’s about as bad as you’d expect.

Their attempts to modernise the story are painful to say the least with pop culture references, inappropriate adult humour and twerking rabbits. Plus rather than the gentle, but slightly mischievous character we got in the source material, here Peter is a sociopathic delinquent who seems to revel in making the farmer’s life a living hell. He’s unlikable and unwatchable as far as I’m concerned and the film doesn’t in anyway earn the emotional moments it tries so desperately to sell to the audience. And the worst part is it’s getting a sequel.

Wait. Do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of Beatrix Potter tearing out of the ground, ready to kill whatever idiot came up with this shit.

Fallout 76

I was excited for Fallout 76. A MMORPG where players band together to rebuild society after a nuclear apocalypse. Could have been great. Pity it wasn’t.

Fallout 76 is a dreadful game. Not only is it a buggy, glitchy mess that requires a constant online connection to play, which could result in you losing hours of progress if your WiFi went down, it’s also unbelievably tedious, and that’s because there’s nothing to do in the game. There’s no other characters to interact with, the various robots and computers you come across are really little more than quest givers, there’s no actual plot so to speak, and because of the sheer size of the world and the number of players allowed on a server, the chances of you actually meeting any actual players is remote. And let’s not forget all the behind the scenes drama. Bethesda falsely advertising Fallout themed canvas bags and players getting shitty nylon ones. Bethesda accidentally releasing the account information of various players trying to get a refund for said bag. Bethesda failing to program the year 2019 into the game code, meaning that the game’s nukes don’t work.

Maybe there’s a chance that Bethesda could pull a No Man’s Sky and fix everything over the coming years with various patches and DLCs, but the damage has already been done. It’s incredibly disappointing. The Elder Scrolls 6 is going to have be fucking incredible to win everyone back.

Mama Mia!: Here We Go Again

I can’t stand jukebox musicals anyway, but Mamma Mia was always one of the worst. Its boring, meandering story with its one note, obnoxious cast of characters screeching out ABBA songs like they’re at some drunken karaoke session at some poor sod’s hen party has always grated on my nerves. So imagine my delight when they announced we were getting a sequel. Ever wondered how Meryl Streep met her three lovers and founded her hotel? No? Well tough shit, we’re going to tell you anyway.

Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again is basically just Mamma Mia again. The actors still can’t sing, the characters are still annoying and story is still boring and meandering, completely at the mercy of the chosen songs rather than the filmmakers using the songs to compliment the story (you know? Like proper musicals do?).

How can I resist you? Very easily as it turns out. Gimme, gimme, gimme a fucking gun so I can end my misery.

The Cloverfield Paradox

A lot of people were unhappy about the direction Cloverfield was going. They wanted a continuation of the found footage, kaiju movie from 2008, not an anthology series. I was personally all in favour. Partially because I thought the first Cloverfield was a tad overrated, but mostly because I thought it would be a great opportunity for more experimental film projects and could be a great launchpad for new writers and filmmakers. 10 Cloverfield Lane was a great start. Then The Cloverfield Paradox happened.

The Cloverfield Paradox is basically JJ Abrams trying to have his cake and eat it too. Maintaining the anthology format whilst connecting everything together in a ‘shared universe’ (yes, yet another shared universe). The result was a cliched, poorly edited and idiotic mess of a film that actually took away from the previous two films rather than added to them. Everyone hated it and, as a result, 2018′s Overlord, which was totes going to be part of the Cloververse, was made its own standalone film and Abrams double pinky promised to make a true sequel to the original Cloverfield. A complete and total disaster. No wonder it was a straight-to-Netflix film.

The Handmaid’s Tale - Season 2

This is probably going to be the most controversial entry on the list, but please hear me out because I’m not the only one who has a problem with this season.

I was reluctant to watch The Handmaid’s Tale simply because of how gruesome the original book was, but I forced myself to watch the first season and I thought it was pretty good. It remained faithful to the source material for the most part and included some nice additions that helped to expand the story and mythos. If it was just a one off mini-series, everything would have been fine. But then they made the same mistake as The Man In The High Castle and Under The Dome did where they commissioned another season and attempted to tell a story that goes beyond the book.

There’s a reason why the original story ended where it did. The Handmaid’s Tale isn’t meant to be an empowering story about women sticking it to the patriarchy. It’s a cautionary tale about how fragile our civil rights truly are and how easily they can be taken away from us. It’s designed to shock, not to satisfy. So seeing a handmaid blow herself up in a suicide bombing feels very incongruous and just a little bit silly. It would be like doing a TV adaptation of George Orwell’s 1984 where the first season followed the source material and then the second season turned Winston Smith into this heroic freedom fighter trying to overthrow Big Brother. It would represent a fundamental misunderstanding of what the book was about in the first place.

And then of course there’s the increased level of violence in Season 2, which many have complained about. In Season 1 and the original source material, the violence was justified. In Season 2, the motivation behind the violence has gone from ‘how can we effectively demonstrate how easily a fascist patriarchy can happen in the West?’ to ‘what brutal act can we inflict upon Ofglen to shock the audience this week?’ It’s purely for shock and nothing more. And with the showrunner (who I feel I should mention is a man) announcing that he has planned ten seasons of this, it seems that The Handmaid’s Tale is going to go even further with this depravity until it effectively becomes the equivalent of a Saw film.

The Handmaid’s Tale exists as a way of shining light on and critiquing misogyny in its most extreme form. Season 2 however demonstrates that there is a serious risk of it becoming the very thing it’s criticising in the first place.

The Predator

I love the Predator franchise, but The Predator is the worst.

People thought that this would be good because director Shane Black had actually starred in the first Predator movie back in 1987. Instead we got this bloated, confusing, obnoxious and insulting mess of a film that seems to go out of its way to ruin everything that makes Predator so good. There’s no tension. No suspense. No intrigue. Just a bunch of gore, explosions and shitty one liners from annoying and lifeless characters. They essentially took this big alien game hunter from outer space and turned him into a generic monster from a bad summer blockbuster. It no longer hunts for sport. It wants to take over the world and splice our DNA with theirs. But don’t worry, a rogue Predator doesn’t want to kill humans (even though he himself kills a bunch of humans), so he gives us a Predator Iron Man suit to set up a sequel that will probably never happen because this movie was a box office bomb and it fucking SUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKEEEEEDDDD!!!

This film also has a very nasty streak towards those with disabilities. There’s a lot of jokes at the expense of a character with Tourette’s and it has an extremely ignorant and patronising view of autism, portraying the main character’s kid as being a super genius who can decipher the Predator language and even going so far as to say that he represents ‘the next stage of human evolution.’ Presumably the Predators want social communication difficulties because apparently it helps them hunt somehow.

What with Disney acquiring 20th Century Fox, the future of both the Alien and Predator franchises were very much in question. This film needed to be a success in order to make a case for Disney to keep making more of them. It wasn’t. Congratulations Shane Black. You might have just killed off this franchise for good. Thanks arsehole! :D

So those were my least favourite stories from 2018. Join me on Wednesday where we shall discuss something more positive. Yes, it’s awards season. Who shall win the coveted Quill Seal Of Approval? Watch this space...

Or don’t. It’s up to you. I don’t want to force you or anything. It’s a free country.

#quill's swill #quill's swill 2018 #worst of the year #review #opinion

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until-things-get-better · 3 years

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im running out of money and feeling collapsing misery all the time like,,. i wish i had you here. i wish i had something, yknow,,? i get coffee to not feel miserable. to like talk to the baristas when i spend 95% of the time at home [the rest in my car getting coffee]. yet i cant afford to spend $5 even twice a week. i play f2p games or stuff i own cause im OUT. until unemployment gets back to me im jjust out of money. i wish i could just be held by you in a place that isnt mine and run away from this for ten minutes. i cant believe i lived this long off of unemployment money from june but i have. and iit seriously has just been bleeding my heart dry. my heartrate has been so high over this for the past 8 months.,,, my usual panicks are only worse because im wondering what im doing next. what im doing now. if the state will ever make this right. if we’ll ever close down and start to flatten the curve,,,,. im so worried about my life. so worried about my money, which is my future. so worried about not being able to get a job because it would void my unemployment claim and that currently claims that i owe the state $10,000 which is JUST not happening. they have to clear my name, award a couple thousand bucks that they owe me, and for me to pick up my life after that. but it just hasnt been that easy. it was that easy in march but theyre just intentionally trying to rob me now.

all i can do is put one foot in front of the other and keep walking. i try all i can to play games and move time along. sleep and smoke and engage as little as possible to get to the next day. wait for that unemployment call. wait for that email... wait for a text from you just to like. not feel crushed for a second. reach for my phone to text you whenever im panicking to just run away. even if its just heart spam or something,,, iim glad youve been so close communication wise 💜 its helped a lot, even if the physical distance has been ROUGH. not even on you, or anything, cause i appreciate you taking the time you need for yourself in your own life. even if the way i feel is that i could spend 24/7 in a discord call with you and not get tired of you. llike,,. im still just that kid. im still just that kid who wanted to get home from school to spend until 2 am in a call with bloby playing tf2 mvm on release to hear everything goin on in her life. aand honestly even the same with you most of the time back then with just skype chatting while playing. ii still just want to run away from how awful life treats me and listen to you. feel close to you. hear everything about your day and not feel like im stuck in my repeating day hell as usual.

sorry if this sounds melodramatic, im doing okay. a bit better since ii started taking my meds. a lot better since i got to see you. i just wish my heart wasn’t just scared,,,. i want to be living and strong, i want to thrive, and i. its not that i dont love myself or dont think i can make myself happy, but my situation is too much right now for me to handle on my own. i look in the mirror and i still love that girl. im really convinced by yall that my crooked nose is actually cute. i feel really girly and loved by somebody and thats incredible right now, its so good. but me looking in the mirror and loving that person isnt going to make this mental weight disappear. it wouldnt be enough for me to just start gardening or playing new games or exercising or getting a job if that were possible. the situation of my life, the crossroads of abuse that cause me constant panick alongside being ultra bankrupt,,,. it makes thinking about anything hell. ii t makes it so hard for an escape to stay an escape.

sorry for the wall of text, iii ju st miss you. i wish i could be that kid and get home from school and get on skype. i wish we put dates in front of us and didnt have to be scared of the world murdering us ,,. i wish you could take me places and ease my public fears by being with me and holding my hand. i wish life didnt have to just stand still for me right now.

#abt darby #actuallyblogging

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parkshuppy · 6 years

Note

❤️❤️❤️

lyds!! im so glad you did this because i wanna gush about how brilliant you are

its totally unbelievable that we’ve only been talking for a couple of months tbh, but i am so very glad we decided to do the secret santa because it means i got to talk to you!!

first of all, you are one of the nicest people ever? like i swear you don’t have a bad bone in your body, you always have nice things to say and always try to make people happy - you’re just a total joy tbh. not to mention the fact that you’re also incredibly smart and so interesting to talk things out with - if oxford don’t accept your application it’ll be the stupidest decision they have ever made because like i said you have all the strengths (and no weaknesses fight me)

i dont want it to sound corny or cliched when i honestly say that youre truly an inspiration??? i know how much you’ve helped people, how youre a support system for so many and spend so much of your time trying to make people comfortable and happy. you fight for what you think is right and work hard to spread good and kindness and thats seriously awe inspiring to me. theres a lot of things you do that you dont have to do, but choose to because you want to do good. you’re a real life human sunshine and the world would be an amazing place if it were full of people like you

you have an amazing mind??? the stories your create are amazing, your writing is beautifully poetic and kills me every time. you’re so good at getting into each characters headspace, and clearly put so much thought into your fics. the headcanons and au ideas that you come up with blow my mind (even if you are a total angst monster). screaming about dirk gently with you and kathi is one of my most favourite things to do, especially when we all go too hard on the misery and end up telling each other off. which reminds me - can we make watching the episodes live a thing?? i had the most fun watching it with you and babbling incoherently when everything went wrong, and its was 100% worth staying up till 4am just to talk to you and live through the pain of the wendimoor episode with you

you’re so fun to talk to, you’re so clever and interesting and chatting with you is so easy and never an effort. i also fully appreciate you being the mum friend and being the voice of reason when me and sarah are human disasters lol

anyway!! im so grateful to know someone as kindhearted and smart and wonderful as you

#im bad at these i cant like put into words how great you are but know that youre super great pls #lyds #boxesfullofthoughts

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kittenwritesstuff · 7 years

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Drunk in love

Fandom: Once Upon A Time Pairing: Rumplestiltskin/ Mr. Gold x reader Genres: mention of alcohol, awkwardness, mild fluff Words: 1.505 Summary: Reader has a one too many drinks which gives her courage to confess her feelings for Gold. Next morning, she has to face the shame - requested by Anonymous

“Don’t do iiit, honey,” Ruby warns, her voice a bit slurred. You’ve been having a girls’ night, you and Emma deciding that after a week of various unexpected events you should finally relax and you definitely earned a drink. Or two.

So, you invited Mary Margaret and Ruby to a club and the four of you are now more or less drunk. And, given that alcohol usually makes it easier to open up, Ruby asked a question about your current love interests.

Mary Margaret only blushed and said she wasn’t interested in anyone in particular. She wasn’t a very good liar but neither of you wanted to embarrass her so you kept your mouths shut.

Ruby confessed that men were more and more boring to her, although she wouldn’t mind hooking up with that cutie sitting by the bar. He was, indeed, good-looking.

Emma mumbled that she had enough of men for the rest of her life and that Henry was her priority at the moment. You’ve never been prouder.

And you… well, tequila definitely went to your head and so, without thinking twice, you told the girl the name of your crush, instantly silencing them all.

After all, nobody would guess that you were head over heels in love with none other than Mister Gold. You can’t tell what precisely made him so irresistible and wanted by you. Maybe it’s his confidence, so close to arrogance? Maybe the way he speaks, that accent of his and smirk, ever present on his face?

Age difference? Please, those trivial things never bothered you. The cane? You don’t give a damn about it. He makes your knees weak, a shiver to run down your spine and a tiny jolt of nervousness to course through you. Never before has a man succeeded in making you both intimidated and drawn to him.

Yet your shyness prevented you from showing your affection in any way. You couldn’t build up courage to even suggest that you liked him, not to mention straight up asking him out.

But now? you felt bolder than ever! Damn, you swear you can move mountains, what’s scary in texting your crush? What can possibly go wrong?

“Bullshit, Imma do it. Just one text, let me see if he’ll text me back, right?”

“Alright, but only one text,” Emma points a finger at you in what’s supposed to be threatening manner but it ends up utterly funny when she accidently bumps your nose. You giggle, taking your phone out of your jacket’s pocket.

“Here comes big nothin’”

You unlock your cell, ignoring missed calls. They’re not important now – you’re a girl on a mission, one that demands your full focus and all the creativity you can muster after having one too many drinks tonight.

You open a new message thread, choose Gold’s number and bite down at your bottom lip, trying to come up with something, anything.

“Text him something along ‘hey, I’m having a drink, wanna join?’” Ruby suggests but Mary Margaret shakes her head.

“No, that’s too straightforward. Just start with ‘hi, how are you?’”

You roll your eyes at her and start typing.

Gold, are you busy? Have a minute to spare to talk to me?

Emma hums in approval, glancing at your phone from over your shoulder.

“That’s a good one. And no typos, very good.”

“Let’s drink to that!” you call, raising your glass and girls cheer loudly, all of you downing another shot of tequila. You grimace slightly, reaching for your phone, a bit disappointed that there’s no reply yet.

“Chill, girl. C’mon, drink up,” Ruby urges with a wide grin and you smile back as she fills your glass. Gosh, you really needed it.

Ten minutes later, as Emma’s venting about Regina and her bossing around, refusing to see Henry and overall, how hard it is to be a sheriff, you check your phone. There’s still no text from Gold, so you decide to send another one.

Blinking to focus your gaze on the screen and the keyboard, you let your thumbs click on the letters.

Ive something 2 tell yuo. Gold, mssg m bakc.

After another shot of tequila you’re not 100% certain whether you sent him more texts or was it just your imagination.

_____

“Oh, poor thing,” Granny says with a hint of amusement in her voice as you step into the diner, your pale face and pained expression telling enough about how much fun you had the previous night.

“Can I get a coffee, please? Like, a lot of it?” you ask meekly as you slide into a booth, resting your head in your hands. Thank heavens that Emma called a day off today and that Sundays are usually very lazy. You don’t even want to imagine what a efficient cop you’d make today.

“Coffee, scrambled eggs and bacon.”

A plate is put in front of you, after it a large cup with steaming black liquid joins the party and a feeling of gratefulness rushes through you.

“Granny, you’re an angel,” you say fondly and she flashes you a soft smile before returning after the counter.

You take the cup in your hands and blow off the steam few times before taking a careful sip. You sigh with content, feeling much better and frown when your phone vibrates, notifying you about new message. You take it out of your pocket and, much to your horror, there’s a message from Gold.

“Shit,” you murmur, your eyes growing wide and your skin becoming almost white as you look through the text you sent him the previous night. And there was definitely more that those two you remember.

10:39pm - Why r u not massagin me backc, Gold? Am waitin.

10:53pm - Emma says im a fool but im only a fool for u.

10:53pm - Shit

10:55pm - I didnt mean t tell it. listen can we meeeet? I can explain/

11:12pm - Okaay, u dont wanna talk, I get it. but I need u to kno that ive a crush on u.

11:37pm - Gold, pls, say somethn.

11:41pm – dammit. key, forget it.

1:58am – goodnight, Gold.

9:14am – Did you get home safe, Y/N?

You stare at the screen as if the evidence of your shameful behavior can magically wipe itself from your phone, Gold’s phone, yours and his memory and, overly, the history of the world, but it remains there, unchanged.

You heave out a sigh, take another sip of the coffee and with pounding heart you type a response.

Yes.

Are you still in a mood to talk?

Honestly, I want the Earth to swallow me rn.

That would be an unspeakable loss, dearie :)

“The hell?” you murmur, not really understanding what he meant. Is he mocking you? Having fun with you? You can easily visualize him with a smirk on his face as he toys with you, putting you in more and more misery.

But then again… he doesn’t seem to be a man who’d play with other’s feelings.

Y/N, would you mind if I joined you for a breakfast?

Your heart skyrockets as a cold shiver runs down your spine. You’re both excited and terrified but the mixture somehow makes you bolder and so you reply.

Sure, but I look like crap. Feel warned.

I’ll be there in a moment.

You barely put your phone away when the door opens, the bell rings and you will yourself from running in that instant. You lower your head and squeeze your eyes shut, when a figure takes a seat opposite you.

“You lied,” he remarks, his tone hinted with humor and you jerk your head up to look at him.

“What?”

“You don’t look like crap. Quite the opposite, to be honest.”

“Damn, you’re blind? I have the worst hangover ever and I feel like dying, but that’s really nice of you, mister Gold.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Also, about those messages-“

You groan silently, hiding your face in your hands, too ashamed to even glimpse at him. You hear him sigh but he continues.

“- I’m not going to forget it, as you suggested. I’m fluttered that a girl like you harbored a crush on somebody like me but-“

“No, don’t finish it,” you whine and Gold chuckles, noting that you look absolutely adorable when embarrassed. He gently reaches for one of your hands and reveals half of your face.

“Y/N, I just want to ask if you stand by what you texted last night? You’re sober and we can act as if nothing happened, if what you said was untrue.”

“It was, errr…. It was true,” you say quietly, feeling your cheeks warm up with a blush and, much to your relief, Gold smiles brightly, his eyes wrinkling a little.

“Well then… would you do me an honor and go for a dinner with me tomorrow?”

A grin makes its way onto your lips as you fold your hands on your lap, fixating your eyes on Gold.

“Gladly.”

#mr gold #mr gold x reader #rumplestiltskin #rumplestiltskin x reader #rumple #rumple x reader #x reader #reader insert #once upon a time #ouat #ouatfic

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h-fragmentedfigments · 5 years

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Reverse

Prologue

LONDON 1971

It was quarter to nine in the evening and supposedly, there should be music blaring out loud with the chattering of the crowd clouding the place. The atmosphere should smell like sweat and smoke, and the room shouldn’t have this too much light. Yet instead, Eris stood by the telephone at her parents’ house, pulse racing and breath hitching. This was not how she pictured her night starting.

She takes a deep breath, trying to form the words to say to the person on the line. She was petrified, her feet suddenly felt heavy to move, and her fingers are starting to feel cold.

“Ms. Gray, are you still there?” The woman who broke the news exactly two minutes ago spoke again, her voice sounding concerned.

“Yes, I’m still here.” Eris stutters as her eyes begin to brim with tears.

“It would be advisable to get yourself checked up again, just to see see if the baby…” Her next words became a blur as Eris tries to take in everything that’s been said to her for the past four minutes she’s been on the phone.

Before the woman on the line could even finish her statement, Eris beats her to it, feeling her head pound already. For fuck’s sake, what is happening? Eris thought. She was on her way to the pub where she should be spending time with Roger along with Freddie, Brian, and John who she hasn’t seen for over a month now. But before she could even step outside the house, the phone rang, where she received that god-awful news she’s never even thought of hearing any time soon; not when she was just getting into med school, not when Roger is just kicking off with his music career. But it had to happen now, at the very worst moment: She had to be twelve weeks pregnant.

“Th—thanks for the call,” Eris croaked, “I’ll make sure to go to the hospital soon.” She put the phone down before leaning against the wall beside her. God, she was getting dizzy. The woman’s words echoed in her mind and it was all too overwhelming, she couldn’t think straight.

Eris tries to collect her thoughts while pacing back and forth in the living room. She brings her thumb to her mouth, nibbling on it. Half an hour had already passed and she was seconds away from losing her mind. She and Roger had just received their BSC and while they’ve been in a happy, committed relationship for almost three years now, they’ve never talked about settling down, let alone have a child. Sure, marriage was brought up once or twice, but they have other plans long before that; plans the two of them have talked about before they even met in college.

A knock on the door abruptly halts Eris from pacing. She stood frozen in her place, terrified that she has to face Roger this early. Before she could even wrap everything in her mind. Her breath hitches, legs not daring to move while she waits for the person at the door to speak.

“Eris, darling, are you home?” Freddie hollers and relief quickly rushed through Eris’ body from hearing that voice. She bolts to the door, grateful to have this person out of anyone in the world in her house right now. She swings the door open, revealing her good, old friend’s face.

“Ah, thought you should be home. I was on my way to the pub when I saw your light still open, so I figured—”

Freddie was cut off with Eris engulfing him with a tight hug, “God, Freddie. I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Well, can’t say I’m surprised. Anyone would be glad to see me.” Even without his face in view, Eris could picture the bloke’s smirk plastered on his face as he hugs her back. Typical Freddie Mercury, oozing with confidence.

They both enter the house with Freddie following Eris who is anxiously biting down her lower lip. She clasps her hands together, trying to formulate how she’s going to break it to him. Eris turns to face Freddie and parts her mouth only to be disrupted by Freddie’s enthusiastic clapping. He rushes towards her, a wide grin etched across his face.

“You will not believe who just phoned tonight!” Still grinning, Freddie’s warm hands held her cold ones. He paused for a quick second, letting the anticipation hold longer and continued, “EMI Records! They’re interested in managing us.”

It was difficult not to feel the weight in Eris’ chest getting heavier. Again, she should be mirroring Freddie’s smile, hugging him and congratulating him, and maybe even dragging him outside so the both of them can go and tell the rest of the guys. But the sadness and pained expression was evident, and it was only natural for Freddie to look confused.

“Are you alright, darling? Gosh, you look pale.” Freddie touched Eris’ cheek then her forehead to check before pulling her to the couch.

“I’m sorry… I…”

“Do you want me to fetch you water? Or do you want to catch some fresh air? Jesus, you look like you’re going to faint.”

“Fred, I need to tell you something.” Eris’ voice was low and somber and Freddie knew right away this was something serious. He sits beside her and stayed quiet, letting Eris take her time. She looks up to him and Freddie grew more concerned seeing the tears build in her eyes.

It pained Freddie to see her like this. Eris had gone through pain but never had he seen her this vulnerable and lost, and to say he was worried was an understatement.

“Darling, please. What is it?” Freddie’s voice came out as a whisper, full desperation laced in those last three words.

“I’m pregnant, Fred.” Eris couldn’t help but free the tears that have been long coming and shamelessly broke down in front of Freddie. She lowered her head down, struggling to catch her breath as Freddie takes in her words. It was silent for a moment, only Eris’ sobs contained the atmosphere.

“Have you told Roger?” was Freddie’s first question. Without looking up, Eris shakes her head, wiping her tears.

“I just found out a while ago, I… Fuck, Freddie. How could I even tell him?”

Eris leans down to rest her elbows against her knees, hands raising to cover her face in frustration. Eris knew Roger loved her, god, the man was obsessed with her, but she was also aware of Roger’s passion and fixation when it comes to music and the future he had pictured for himself and Queen. And the last thing Eris would want to do is ruin it all for him.

Freddie breathes out and holds out his arm to touch Eris’ hand. He gives it a tight squeeze before rising from his seat. He marches down to the kitchen and rummaged through the cupboard while the damsel confusingly waits for him. Minutes later, he comes back with a bottle of wine and two glasses. He sets them in the coffee table, pouring each glass with his and Eris’ favorite Sauvignon Blanc. He hands Eris her drink before taking his own and clinking their glasses.

“So…” He begins, crossing his legs, “What do you want to do?”

This is why Freddie is who Eris’ needs the most at this moment. Freddie and Eris had a fair share of tragic moments together and in those times, it was always Freddie who Eris confided more because of his means of addressing problems. He neither condoles nor sympathize. He refuses to lengthen the misery you’re in by giving words of comfort by saying ‘It’s okay,’ because hell, it is not okay, and you’re in this unfortunate predicament, so what are you going to do about it?

“Should I break up with him?” Eris asks.

“Are you mad?” Freddie almost spit out his drink, appalled at what the words that came out from Eris’ mouth. “Do you honestly think that loved up arse is going to let you break up with him? Not in this life, dear. Try again.”

Eris sighs. “Fred, if there’s anyone in this world who knows him just like I do, it’s you. And you know very well that his priority right now is his career—Queen’s career, to be exact. Not me, not this baby.”

“I’m very much aware, yes.” Freddie nods casually. He adjusts himself in the couch comfortably and takes a sip. “But I’m also sure of the fact that if Queen is his priority right now, then you’re the most important person in his life, not just right now; since you were kids, since we all met in Kensington Market, yesterday, today, and for the rest of his life, unquestionably. He loves you, Eris. More than anything in this world. He’d do anything for you.”

“That’s the thing, Fred,” Eris exhales, fingers fumbling on the glass. “I know he would. And I don’t want him to. He’s come a long way to be where he is right now. I’m not messing it up.”

Freddie stares at Eris skeptically and much longer than usual, not a sound coming out from his mouth. He raises an eyebrow, finishing his second glass this evening.

“What are you planning to do, Eris Gray?” Voice accusing, Freddie folds his arms under his chest and patiently waited, hoping it’s not what he was thinking.

Seconds turned to minutes. The deafening silence wasn’t helping either. For a moment, Eris held her breath, thinking long and hard of this decision she was making. She was not one for impulsiveness, but this was the only solution she could think of, just so Roger could continue with Queen without any distractions.

“I haven’t told this to anyone yet…” Eris briefly closed her eyes, leaning against the couch before blurting it out. “I’m planning to study in the states while Rog works on his music with you guys. I was supposed to tell him tonight, but… this happened, and I think, maybe, this is better for the both of us, you know? Maybe it’s good that we part ways so he could focus more on his career and Queen.”

Freddie kept still for a while. Obviously, he wasn’t delighted with what he was hearing. “Right, so what are you saying?”

Eris sat quietly, not responding. Freddie furrows his eyebrows together, seeking answers before realizing what Eris is planning to do.

“You’re not leaving without telling him… are you?”

Again, Eris gives him no reply. She clasps her hands together and and held them against her lips, not daring to look at Freddie who was starting to have a headache.

“Eris…”

Eris purses her lips together and interrupts him. “I will tell him eventually, but not now.”

Freddie lets himself fall to the couch, dramatically sighing. He puts his arm against his forehead and shakes his head. “God, you’re going to kill him. He’s going to be crushed.”

Eris blinks her tears away before moving closer to Freddie. She reaches to his hand and grips on it. “Please take care of him.”

Freddie rolls his eyes. “You two are a handful, you know that?”

Eris giggles while tears sprung from her eyes, probably the third time this night. God, how much she’s going to miss Freddie, Brian, and John. But nothing aches more than knowing she won’t see Roger, her best friend, soulmate, the love of her life, in a very long time.

#queen #roger taylor #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #fanfic

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thedramafilesblog-blog · 7 years

Text

Appearing before the Dramacourt: Hwarang: Poet Warrior Youth Ep 06

***If this is your first time browsing The Drama Files, please read The Rules section first for our reviewing and rating system***

Issues:

Whether doing chores makes you a better person?

Whether putting a bunch of people who hate each other’s guts into one room and making them do things together is a good way of dealing with the animosity?

Whether anyone is buying this brother-sister act?

Whether the Ji Dwi/Aro scenes were convincing?

The Rule(s):

Yes. 100%

Possibly. That, or they’ll just end up killing each other.

Literally no one is buying this act. Including the characters themselves.

*sigh* We’ve been over this. There’s like zero chemistry between these two.

Application:

RedRosette J: I think I liked this episode. Not sure. I kind of watched it while in a cold medication induced haze (keep warm everyone. This winter sucks). What I got from it was that this was the “adjustment” episode. Basically all the new personalities and beefs trying to sort themselves out in the Hwarang House. Some of it felt very scripted and difficult to believe and felt a bit forced, but the others were quite convincing. If anything I’m very convinced about Ban Ryu’s agenda. He’s the best developed side character and Do Ji Han is doing a really good job of portraying the angsty-ness of his character (makes me wanna watch more of his work). The fight just felt like it was a scripted excuse to have Aro come and live in the Hwarang House. -_- We also finally got to see more of Taehyung in this episode, although his acting might have been a tad cringey. They should have just told him to be basically be himself because he’s hilarious and awesome when he’s being himself and because he’s similar to the character in real life (or at least from what we see in the Bangtan goofing around in videos) it would have translated well. I’m still (im)patiently waiting for the bromances. Come on, come on already.

You think?

So much angst

So much brooding

RedRosette J Aside: Here’s a bunch of shots of Taehyung (because he finally got some screen time):

Issue 1: Whether doing chores makes you a better person?

RedRosette J: Yes. Totally. I’m a huge believer that experiencing hardships makes a person better. For a bunch of rich spoiled brats, making them do laundry and cleaning up horse poop is probably as hard as its going to get. I think that eventually they’ll learn discipline and respect for people that do these hard jobs, and I think that that’s the point that the crazy teacher was trying to get across. The huge contrast between Sun Woo and the spoiled brats was so evident as they did chores and everyone can see that Sun Woo is by far the better person of the lot so far. Keep up the good work boys, you’ll be better people soon!

Rich brats doing laundry

So glad we don’t have to clean horse poop all day these days

When you’re forced to wake up at the crack of dawn

LOL!

Issue 2: Whether putting a bunch of people who hate each other’s guts into one room and making them do things together is a good way of dealing with the animosity?

RedRosette J: To be honest, I don’t know if this strategy is a good thing. I keep thinking that if this happened to me, I’d just end up even more annoyed at the person being constantly in my face all the time. I think the point was that they would eventually transcend their differences by understanding each other or even just commiserating in their misery. The jury is still out for me as to whether this strategy is good or not, but it did lead to some stellar shots of hot guys in a shower together and lots of abs. So, thank you for that. And the eventual fight is the boiling point of putting all these personalities together. I saw it coming a mile away.

When you wake up to your nemesis

You tell ’em

All dem abs ;)

When you lose your cool

Issue 3: Whether anyone is buying this brother-sister act?

RedRosette J: I was talking to Jubiemon about this and we agreed that no brother and sister ever act the way that these two do. Honestly, some of the stuff is just ridiculous. Why did they have to take this route? It feels really unnecessary. Was this really the only way to throw them into a romantic situation? It’s just weird now. Not to mention, none of the characters are buying this act. Ji Dwi is the first one to be like ‘oh hell no’. I’m with him on that. Ugh.

Ugh

Said no real brother ever

The assignment was an excuse for these two to have bonding time

When the 2nd lead crashes the romance and actually has more chemisty with the male lead

Issue 4: Whether the Ji Dwi/Aro scenes were convincing?

RedRosette J: We’ve been over this countless times in previous posts. These two are just not convincing. Ji Dwi has literally gone from jealous to obsessive now. That kiss? Uhhh I’m sorry but its not romantic when she’s backing away from him in actual fear. Again, it’s not romantic. As much as I’m a Hyungsik fan, Sorry. This scene was just disturbing. Dramas need to stop with the forced kissing. You could argue that it was a different time and that historically women were treated this way or whatever but it’s still really sending the wrong message to modern viewers because this is supposed to be a light-hearted comedy and not some historical epic that reflects what actually happened at the time. So please, stop doing it!

Still not getting the whole ‘sleep’ thing

*boop*

Look at her face: that is FEAR

Not romantic

RedRosette J Aside: Can this drama try NOT to do ALL the drama-verse tropes in one go? We don’t need a birth secret. Ugh. I’m betting that Sun Woo ends up being the late King’s secret love child or something. -_-

Seriously? -_-

Conclusion: Appeal Allowed.

Rating: 3 = MM. Okay. Fine. (Only because there was a lot more Taehyung and some of the stuff was funny)

File No: Hwarang: Poet-Warrior-Youth-EP-06 Appearing before the Dramacourt: Hwarang: Poet Warrior Youth Ep 06 ***If this is your first time browsing The Drama Files, please read The Rules section first for our reviewing and rating system***

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