#i call this: one off bit crack character taken seriously

[cocoreallylovesraiden]

MK1 characters and sick! reader

(johnny cage, bi-han, smoke +liu kang & shang tsung)

not proof read not thought out not nothing i am SICK and this is my OUTLET (again this is not serious, just goofy stuff)

Johnny Cage

- sick equivalent of “it’s not uterus it’s uterUS”

- Especially if he doesn’t have much going on in his schedule? It’s like there’s two sick people in the house

- He has ZERO issues laying in bed all day with you- until he decides on a group excursion to the living room couch where you will… continue to lay there! Exciting.

- Depending on how sick you are he’d be more serious, if it was just a little cold and nothing to worry about, expect to have some movies in the back while you doze in and out of his incessant chatting

- (I personally think he can’t cook well) so your favourite takeout is ordered and put into one of those fancy ass bowls to make it look like a home cooked meal. Bless him.

- Wearing matching ugly pjs like the worlds bleakest slumber party

- Says he doesn’t care about getting sick from being close to you, but makes jokes about your ‘heebies’ getting all over him if you ask for any physical contact (he will over enthusiastically oblige)

- If you’re seriously ill, he would be at a loss, especially when his usual demeanour can’t seem to cheer you up.

- Since i imagine his relationship with his parents isn’t the best, he’d probably call one of your family members to ask how to best care of you, and take it from there

- He wouldn’t treat you like a glass vase though, still cracking jokes while he attends to your needs; but in a way where you can tell he’s trying to mask how vulnerable he feels in his care for you.

- Calls you his sicky wicky honey boo boo sugar tits pumpkin pie

- Definitely gets the man flu once you recover no question about it

- As you lay in bed, sweating from your fever with this huge piece of man meat hugging up on you, all you can hear in the back of your head is “BAAAAYBBUHHHHH…. IT HUUURTTSS…” (congratulations! You can see into the future!)

- Also would call his assistant to ask for help. What are they going to know? They just do his accounting!

Bi Han

- You are sick? Have fun not being allowed to do ANYTHING. No chores, no training, no oily food, no Netflix- NO NETFLIX?

- He claims that extended screen time will only agitate your condition.

- He takes it upon himself to care for you; making easy to digest food, offering to help you shower when you feel physically weak, buying all sorts of medicines, etc.

- it would be easier to send someone to do some of these tasks (aside from the showering.) but no. Out of the kindness of his heart? Yes, of course. He loves you dearly. But also because he does not trust anyone to be as competent as he is.

- As the grandmaster gives you several containers of traditional Chinese medicine, you can only wonder if some pharmacist is sponsoring him. If you dare complain they taste horrible, he will GLADLY take a pill or a bit of powder just to show you were being a wuss

- Nags you for not being careful, and at first it’s annoying but you figure out eventually it’s because he’s worried and this is how he shows his love and concern

- During the day he has to be off at work, and as the hours pass those around him see his shoulders tense higher and higher. You’ve eaten lunch, right? You’ve taken your medicine?

- But don’t worry! Once you show the SLIGHTEST signs of recovery, it’s back to the grind.

- You can sniffle and puppy eyes him all you want, but once he deems you fit for daily life, we are back for business! No more Mr Marginally Nicer Bi Han!

- That being said, once you’re back to smiling and laughing, he will admit that it’s nice to see you back to your usual self.

Smoke

- feels horrible that you’re sick, but secretly proud of his immune system for staying strong; now he has an excuse to show off his hospitality skills!

- sort of like bi-han, expect instead of professional fussing you get excited pampering, gets to the point where you have to ask whether or not he should be at work instead of here

- “Work? Taking care of you is my work!”

- Uses this as a chance to freshen up memory on his hometown; making foods, remedies and tricks he remembers his mother doing for him as a sick child.

- If you ask him more about it, he will gladly go into detail- telling wonderful stories even if he occasionally gets emotional through them

- Cleans your face with a damp cloth and uses it as an excuse to get all close with you- again! He has a strong immune system, so nothing to worry about.

- While he’s off at work, he leaves you notes around the house to remind you that he’s thinking of you and hopes you feel better soon- if you collect all the notes, he becomes embarrassed and acts like he doesn’t know who wrote them

- Comes home and snuggles with you, mentioning even if you did have a fever, it was nice because outside was so cold and you were so warm.

- A little tone deaf, but he’s… got the spirit?

- Secretly upset once you get better because you’re less accommodating to his needy/ clingy behaviour, but it’s also great that you can communicate with words and not pained groans!

- You are WAITING for the day he gets sick. There’s no way you’ve gotten the flu 4 times, and he hasn’t. He sleeps in the same bed as you when you’re sick! Kisses you!

- How did they raise kids to be so strong where he’s from?

BONUS

Liu Kang

- you don’t get sick.

- flu season? he makes you take traditional medicine to prevent it.

- cold? you’re funny. around him? Liu “Set Off Fire Alarms With His Flaming Biceps” Kang? Haha.

- food poisoning? he Knows if the food is off, and won’t let you get the chance to eat it.

- Papa is going to make sure influenza season hits a new low this year

- Seriously, medical insurance companies are terrified of him.

Shang Tsung

- very creepily offers you an elixir and asks you to drink it.

- (Here is the part where I say: but you know he won’t hurt you, so you take it. But, you don’t know. He’s looking at you reeeaaalll funny)

- Notices your glare and takes a moment to re-do his sales pitch, this time a lot less devil-binding-contract and more… human…like?

- turns out, the elixir was just a failed experiment on shape-shifting. he sheepishly offers practical medicine while you roll your eyes.

Kung Lao

- is also sick.

- You both are idiots.

#mk1 #mk1 x reader #tomas vrbada #bi han #mortal kombat #bi han x reader #liu kang x reader #mk x reader #Johnny cage #Johnny cage x reader #mk1 smoke #smoke x reader #Tomas vrbada x reader #shang tsung x reader #strict housewife bi han enjoyer (points at myself) #I do think he’s fiercely caring about those he loves #In a very Asian mom way #this came to me in a vision #Johnny cage is so annoying I want to kiss him on the mouth #cpr style #Liu Kang dies a little Everytime you don’t check the expiration labels #shang tsung would edit the expiration label for fun #they are not the same

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Roll for Persuasion

I'm back with more Shaw Mates group chats. And it's still literally nothing but crack. Enjoy!

CW: GN Listener characters (any gendered terms are purely used for the meme and should not be taken seriously), Cursing, Crack, Kind of suggestive because Angel can't stop

<< Previous -- Redacted Masterlist -- Next >>

Summary: Angel needs to be jailed, Baabe is an accomplice, Sweetheart has a masterplan, and Sam is barely surviving in this.

Taglist: @wib-was-here @4letteraroace @moon0o

Angel: i learned smthn togay

Baabe: to gay or not to gay that is the question.

Sweetheart: Is this an actually valuable lesson or do I need to call the morgue to prepare for your body to come in

Angel: ...

Angel: n e wayz

Angel: i learned that daveys bag is in fact not waterproof

Sweetheart: Oh my god what did you do

Baabe: howd you find out?

Angel: i spilled water in it

Baabe: water in his valentino white bag?! WAGAOUWAH

Angel: mm doesnt hit the same

Baabe: no it really doesnt.

Sweetheart: Youre fucked

Angel: ah ha ha chad lip bite

Sam: Put it in the dryer?

Angel: ...

Angel: oh

Baabe: i just banged my ankle.

Angel: oh my god why did u do that

Baabe: IM GONNA CHOKE YOU! IT WASNT ON PURPOSE

Angel: ehrfiuerhfr i just dont know why youd want to fuck your ankle

Baabe: i banged it against a cabinet corner! i bruised it. it hurt. i did not fuck my ankle whats wrong with you?

Angel: must be the lack of oxygen

Sweetheart: I just went through the drivethru like twelve times and left each time because i didnt want to talk to people

Baabe: omg thats so asher coded of you.

Sam: I promise it will be okay. You'll even get food.

Angel: you were comin and goin

Angel: kum and go

Angel: ejaculate and evacuate

Baabe: i hope you know that jesus sleeps in your hair every night.

Sweetheart: Peanut butter is an ointment fight me

Baabe: i want proof.

Sweetheart: Its thick and can be used as a protective coating

Angel: you know what else is thick and can be used as a protective coating

Angel: daveys

Sam: That's enough internet for Angel.

Sam: Lirc?

Sweetheart: If I remember correctly

Sam: What's that?

Baabe: acronym for iirc.

Sam: What's iirc?

Angel: if i remember correctly

Sam: Remember what?

Sweetheart: I am fearing for my life

Sam: Why?

Sweetheart: Im home alone and theres a single slice of cheese on the counter

Sweetheart: Just lying there

Sam: Oh dear?

Sweetheart: I DIDNT PUT THAT THERE AND AGGRO SURE AS HELL DIDNT

Angel: were in your walls

Baabe: feed us the cheese

Baabe: we crave it

Angel: c h e e s e

Angel: what uni did yall go to

Baabe: stanford. worst years of my life

Sweetheart: DAMN

Sam: Same as Sweetheart.

Sam: What about you, Angel?

Angel: i went to ugh

Sam: I don't recognize that acronym.

Baabe: AHHAHAHHAHAHA

Angel: university of giving head

Sam: Goodbye.

Angel: CATSUP BLAST

Sweetheart: This is why we need to destroy capitalism

Baabe: CATSUP BLAST

Sam: What the hell is Catsup Blast?

Angel:

Baabe:

Sweetheart: Unrelated but Im seeing a lot of 6 x Gabriel stuff

Baabe: not surprised.

Sam: Is this that "old man yaoi" Angel keeps talking about?

Angel: KAHFDSGHHJ

Sweetheart: Sometimes self care is watch an hour and a half video about the JFK assassination

Baabe: you might benefit from some therapy.

Sweetheart: Homestuck is for true warriors. Those who have been heartbroken so many time they dont know how to feel or see anymore. Homestuck is for those who have experienced true pain yet still push through knowing no matter how much they face Homestuck is by their side supporting them. Homestuck is the reason for so many differences in the world and is the reason outcasts and popular kids have one thing in common. Homestuck is for those who dont feel emotions as theyve lost the ability to feel them years ago when that flame died out because of childhood issues and now the only thing they have left to bring them the tiniest bit of inspiration is Homestuck. Homestuck is for kids that have no where to turn to, teens who are on the brink of killing off their family, and for adults who have lost complete control of their lives. Homestuck is badass. Homestuck has caused many wars and won all of them, Homestuck has no barriers and does not abide to any man nor woman nor god, homestuck is above god itself. Homestuck doesnt even have a concept of god inside its intellectual brain because it knows its the reason for every good, bad, and neutral thing to happen to mankind and thats what matters. Homestuck could be legally clarified as a bible. Homestuck is for the fainthearted and isnt for the sensitive types or the crybabies. Its for true motherfuckers who know where they are in life and what the fuck theyre doing with themselves. Of course you think its cringe but maybe youre just projecting onto the homestuck because you have never felt such power or control over your own life and need to belittle those who have something greater than power. They have homestuck. Homestuck fans are the type to find your exact location and multiple different closed off social medias because you dont have the same opinion as them. I suggest next time you know your place and keep your mouth shut. Homestuck isnt cringe and isnt for weak nerds like you

Baabe: fuck you im not reading all that.

Angel: all i asked was if you wanted pesto on your pasta or marinara omg calm down

Sam: What is Homestuck?

Baabe: i havent cleaned my kitchen for a month blegh

Sweetheart: If it isnt gross I think youre fine but if it is then clean your damn kitchen

Angel: HOLY SHIT a month??

Baabe: yeah theres twelve of them.

Angel: *leans on expensive buffalo* heyyy

Angel: *bugatti

Baabe: nope youve sealed your fate.

Sweetheart: Im gonna cook your buffalo.

Angel: LEVAE HERBERT ALONE

Sam: I'm done.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted verse #redacted shaw pack #redacted shaw pack mates #redacted shaw pack mates group chat #redacted sam #redacted angel #redacted sweetheart #redacted baabe #redacted baaabe

[kaleeatinghoe]

GREGSTOPHE HEADCANONS!!!

(+individual)⚠️ocd and very small blood mention (just to be safe)

recently ive been obsessed with them i need to make headcanons it’s a requirement

first of all, gregory was never secretive about his feelings,,. he would call chrisophe “darling” and “my dear” but christophe somehow didn’t realize that this was romantic (??) and thought that was just how he spoke.

everybody assumed they already had something going on, until gregory started loudly monologuing about his love and how he had “longed to profess” his love.,, christophe was absolutely taken aback, but nobody else gave a fuck

gregory is definitely a theater kid in a way. he joined the drama club at school, and was absolutely disgusted at how bad everyone’s acting and how they didn’t put their entire heart and soul into a school play.

he also convinced christophe to join tech crew. (maybe i make a comic??:0)

sometimes christophe disappears for days at a time and hes just like somewhere around like in a random field or walking down the road,, and he doesn’t sleep much. hes just out all night doing random stuff

gregory speaks french and he’ll monologue in french occasionally and very theatrically and christophe is just there sick of this shit

they both just crawl into each others houses through the window(especially christophe) while the other is sleeping. gregory keeps his window open and christophe has crawled in and woken him up at some ungodly hour because there was something unescessary that he insisted had to be done and couldn’t wait until daylight.

he also somehow just knows extremely specific details about people and businesses that he pulls out of nowhere whenever they are plotting against them

oh and he definitely knows all about tweek bros,, and has planned to expose them

gregory once kissed ze mole in a very theatrical way. he would do some kind of speech and make it look straight out of a shakespeare play,, and time it right before he leaves abruptly. and christophe is like shocked and also cringing because gregory is such a fucking theater kid and while what he did was rlly sweet.., it’s like dude

gregory is a bit germaphobic and takes hygiene extremely seriously. he washes his hands before and after he eats, and showers atleast once a day. he may have ocd which causes him to wash his hands like 57 times a day giving him super dry hands (js like me with my ocd fr) so he constantly puts lotion on his hands

christophe is kinda the opposite. he has normal hygiene like he doesn’t fail to wash his hands after taking a shit but he will also forget to shower for weeks. he just kinda forgets so he has gregory remind him every so often “have you showered this week?” also he is really dirty all the time and tracks dirt and mud a lot. gregory makes him take his shoes off before coming inside

overall christophe doesn’t take very good care of himself., mostly because he forgets, partly because he doesn’t gaf. gregory on the other hand, gets severe anxiety if he forgets one step of his routine, or forgets to eat, or loses track of time and goes to sleep too late,, he is very concerned for his wellbeing and physical / mental health,, a bit to much to the point where it affects his mental health a little bit

ALSO CHRISTOPHE HAS FUCKING BUSTED UP HANDS from like digging and stuff,, his nails are just caked with dirt even after he washes his hands. bro cannot wear white clothes without them getting stained

gregory also has busted up hands sometimes because when his ocd gets really bad and he washes his hands like crazy,, and he forgets to put lotion on his hands crack and bleed. (js like me omg)

okay,, i wanna do more but i can do a sequel. if u want me to do any particular character(s) or ship(s) my ask box is always open!! ;D

#south park #sp #south park headcanons #christophe south park #foreign kids sp #south park movie #christophe sp #ze mole sp #sp ze mole #the mole sp #sp the mole #south park the mole #South Park ze mole #ze mole South Park #the mole South Park #gregory of yardale #sp gregory #gregory sp #south park gregory #Gregory south park #gregory of yardale South Park #bigger longer and uncut #gregstophe #gregstophe south park #South Park gregstophe #sp gregstophe #gregstophe sp #gregstophe headcanons #gregstophe sp headcanons #gregory x christophe

[wordsandrobots]

So the problem with my brain's capacity to plan stories is that it doesn't know when to stop.

Because here I am, 6000 words into writing the final part of Wishing on Space Hardware, which is essentially a superfluous coda to make up the numbers and tie off a few loose emotional strands from the main plot, and of course I'm already thinking about the other Iron-Blooded Orphans stories I'd like to write. Indeed, some of them I have already started, because of course I have.

Now, to be fair, most of those ideas are slash. Smutty slash too. Did you know writing sex scenes triggers the same 'choreography goes brr' synapses as writing fight scenes? I didn't until a couple of years ago and now here we are, with at least two collections of explicit short stories in the offing.

First up is Sympathy and Other Mistakes, which I would already call done if not for the inexplicable urge to add more chapters to it. This is the one that I previously mentioned goes well to Great Night by NEEDTOBREATHE and is for the . . . let's call it 'crack-ship taken seriously' that I'm still not sure I want to publish anything for. I'm fairly nonplussed by moral-purity hand-wringing over age gaps and so forth, and firmly of the belief that getting laid is the least problematic thing anyone in Tekkadan has ever done, but it's a pairing that essentially requires the entirety of Wishing on Space Hardware to have happened to work. So, about a decade of character development beyond the show, which probably narrows the audience past the initial 'wait, what' filter. Thing is, it's an interesting pairing that I think actually works incredibly well with established canon. A thoroughly unromantic thing that swerves from dubcon to somewhere that's honestly kind of sweet, rooted in a search for redemption both characters know is ultimately hopeless. So . . . yeah. We'll see.

Second is the one I suspect would be most popular, You, Me and Everyone Else, which is the logical extension of deciding Shino and Yamagi are poly i.e., how much of the rest of the cast can I ship them with?

Technically, I suppose the bit I've written most of already isn't actually that premise at all but rather them unlocking the most blindingly obvious kinks imaginable. Still, it's fun and should be interesting when placed alongside the other ideas I've got planned. To whit:

Yamagi/Shino/Eugene/Sri (OC) -- The poly relationship I've been building throughout WoSH, in a situation I can't discuss yet

Yamagi/Chad/Shino -- Because I'm curious if I can make that work. If you've been following along so far, you'll have noted the emotional heft in the Yamagi/Shino/Eugene relationship is skewed such that Shino/Eugene is more intense than Yamagi/Eugene. I kind of want to play with that in the other direction, by giving Yamagi a partner he's more strongly attracted to than Shino is. Also I want Chad to have nice things.

598/Yamagi/Shino -- Look. My perfect gremlin child managed to squeak out of that game in one piece and so I get to imagine him grown up and happy, OK? And by grown up I mean roughly barrel-shaped and capable of out-wrestling Shino, and by happy I mean slightly drunk and blurting out “You're really pretty" at Yamagi in the middle of swapping 'holy shit, you're not dead' stories. It'll be fine.

(Chapter titles are already themed: Fantasia for Chains, [REDACTED], Variation on a Theme, and Guest Soloist. Because yes.)

Beyond that, I suppose technically that idea of cadet!Cyclase trying to come on to young officer!McGillis is also slash but I don't believe it would actually go anywhere per se. More that McGillis would take one look at Cyclase and go 'not today, thank you', and Cyclase would get to a point in the conversation and come to the realisation that killing McGillis wouldn't achieve much. I don't know. I'm intrigued by the idea of McGillis accidentally prompting Cyclase off the path of vengeance and on to the path of whatever-the-fuck he was trying to achieve in Urdr Hunt, and there is the challenge of actually writing the bastard's POV (I scrupulously avoided writing either McGillis or Orga's perspective in WoSH).

Oh, speaking of POVs, I was considering doing something with the Venus gang as the other side to Eugene Sevenstark and the Hesperus Treasure, but the idea's not really stuck past how the Urdr Hunt plot wound up going. Maybe if the theatrical presentation version gives me more food for thought? (I am crossing everything that they don't pull a diablous ex machina on us and kill anyone else; I already wrote 598 a cameo in the fic I'm posting at the moment, damnit.)

And then, well. Then there's the actual . . . calling it a sequel to WoSH would be a stretch. It's set another ten years on in the same version of events, but it's very much detached from WoSH's plot and would be my attempt to do a 'what if Akatsuki grew up and starred in a Gundam show' story. The short answer is that he's the most throw-himself-on-the-wire pacifist you could hope to meet and he's gone and got himself caught up in a big mess involving interplanetary medical testing, pirates, and the IBO equivalent of the Gundam Fight because mobile suit battles for sport and the Jupiter equivalent of Las Vegas feels like a fun setting to explore. He'd be a dutagonist alongside a female Gundam pilot who I know lots about but don't have a name for yet. And the story would also feature me performing an act of character necromancy so devilish, you'll probably curse me for it. Because I worked out how I could pull it off and now I think I've got to. Overall this would very much be a one-and-done thing. I'm thinking like Narrative is to Unicorn: a story technically following on and handling some of the same themes but with much punchier pacing and an entirely new cast. No idea when I'd get to it and I don't expect it'll have as much traction as WoSH on account of largely being OC-focused, but I think it could be fun.

OK. There we go. Those are the currently-percolating ideas. I will answer questions on them if you have any but this is mainly just me jotting them down in the hopes that if I just focus on these, I won't spontaneously generate more.

*laughs hysterically*

Yeah, we all know it doesn't work like that. But I tried, damnit!

#gundam iron blooded orphans #gundam ibo #tekketsu no orphans #g tekketsu #fanfic #fic ideas #I cannot promise I will write all this #thought let's face it the odds are very much in favour of it happening #who knows maybe I'll do a poll to see which I write first #but later #when I'm done with WoSH

[emoelrics]

Neon Genesis Evangelion Episode 7 Rewatch

we have an ominous phone call with gendo and some unknown individual. elusive as always gendo.

i love the daily routine between shinji and misato that grows as they continue to live with each other. misato is always a complete disaster in the morning in contrast with her serious and focused personality that she displays at work. in the episode, misato starts off her morning a disheveled mess and cracks open a cold beer. classic. what a way to start your morning! and also oops turns out she slept through breakfast. sorry about that!

yet she shows up to school elegant and refined, a total babe. all the horny teenage boys practically have nosebleeds with how excited they are. kensuke and toji are practically drooling with how obsessed they are with misato. they tell shinji he is so lucky to live with her. i'm sure they have this image of misato in their head, the put together misato that she shows the world.

but shinji knows the real misato. the one she doesn’t show the outside world. he knows what she’s like under that airhead and cheerful facade. she’s a slob, she’s immature, irresponsible, and ridiculous. however, he still enjoys living with her despite her shortcomings. that’s a true bond right there. that’s truly caring and loving somebody. i know gendo wanted to bring human instrumentality so people would be free from the AT fields that separate them. but loving somebody despite the walls that separate you is truly beautiful. to break down somebody's walls and get into the core of shows how much you genuinely love someone. you are willing to put in the effort of getting to know them. you're willing to be patient and to slowly peel back all the layers of who they are.

i like this segment where shinji stares at the eva and wonders what the hell is the mechanical, grotesque robot that he pilots. the cockpit feels like blood. and you know shinji that’s because the essence of your mother is in the robot. essentially the robot is basically a womb and the LCL is amniotic fluid. yeah. crazy stuff shinji! good thing the adults are keeping you away from that information. but it's still so utterly terrifying that shinji was forced to pilot this robot with absolutely no knowledge of what it is, where it came from, and how it came to be. he's left in the dark about so much despite how important he is to NERV.

the contrast between shinji questioning the eva and the adults coldly talking about business is excellent. shinji is just a child caught in the elaborate world of adults. adults lie. adults withhold information. adults can be awful and here shinji is completely helpless and at their whims.

we start with a classic shinji and misato routine. the fun and perky music. shinji eating toast just like always and pen pen eating his fish. then the vibe completely changes. it’s dark and serious. misato has to attend to some business for work. no longer than ditzy facade. she has to get down to business. the way that misato can change her persona is incredible. she is extremely multi-faceted and highly emotionally intelligent. i think a lot of people reduce misato's character to a bimbo who loves beer and erm does some questionable things. but her character is so much more complex than people give her credit for.

we have ritsuko and misato on a business trip. ritsuko asks a bunch of hard-hitting questions and isn’t taken seriously. a glimpse of the sexism that women face in the science field. when the scientist says “like a woman in hysterics,” in response to the robots NERV deploys, it always pisses me off. women are often said they can’t be rational because you know they experience hormonal changes once a month but this doesn’t mean they can’t think critically. women are able to withstand a lot. they can go through all this pain and emotional changes and still be tough and capable.

in this segment, you can also get a glimpse of gendo’s plan in this bit. with this “you’re saying that science and human heart will tame the beast.” i think a lot of times in this anime the strength of the human heart is diminished. it’s seen as fickle and weak. but the human heart can withstand so many things - heartbreak and grief. and yet these feelings make it more resilient. the strength of the human heart and genuine love is what allowed shinji to stop the third impact. the power of the human heart.

love this female rage moment!

just as this arrogant man touts his own creation, things go awry. the so called perfect robot goes berserk just like unit 1. and who’s left to help them solve this crisis? yeah. misato. girlboss! who’s hysterical now.

here comes shinji and misato. but now the cheerful dynamics of home are no more, misato and shinji are in business mood. there’s no goofiness. there’s no light-heartedness. this is misato’s captain persona. the one most of the world sees. she’s firm, straightforward, and precise. she extremely calmly puts herself in danger with shinji pointing out how crazy her plan is. and it’s really nice to see how shinji looks out for her. i really like that about misato. she’s resourceful and creative, always coming up with brilliant solutions in a crisis.

even after all that heroism on misato’s part, we return to our typical morning with misato returning to her usual chaotic and sloppy self. shinji groans as he heads to school, utterly disgusted with how misato presents herself.

toji and kensuke fangirl over how lucky shinji is to live with misato once again. and shinji puts his foot down. living with misato is no idyllic walk in the park. she’s a walking disaster and a complete slob who can’t even cook for herself. why would the two of them want to live with her?

i love the note that we end this episode on. shinji as we know is not so well versed in human connection despite how perceptive he is. so kensuke plainly points it out to him. the misato shinji sees on a day to day basis is the real misato. the masks she dons left to the wayside and the only thing left is authentic self. that’s family. that’s love. someone seeing you for who you truly are.

#commentary #nge #evangelion #misato #shinji #misato katsuragi #shinji ikari

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

Interdimensional Therapy AU

You already know what time it is~

Time to introduce ya'll to a new au! This time it is a joint au made by yours truly (me) and @laughteronsilverwings!!

I will be posting it in parts, like chapters on here about once or twice a week! (also fun fact...at the time of posting this post, we are just under 20k words on the docs............it has been like three days.)

Summary:

–

So, one day, Hakamada Tsunagu (almost-fifteen, vigilante, technically-kinda-terrorist but he’s moved past that) meets Hakamada Tsunagu (around twenty-one, hero, is being blackmailed by the HPSC but he’s trying to ignore that). 

They don’t meet with a bang, a whimper, or a shout- it’s actually weirdly, strangely calm. Not that Tsunagu cares. But Tsunagu -both of them- kind of have to give the slightest bit of fucks about this situation. Well. One of them does. Sort of? Eh, they’ll give it a few days to wear off before starting to worry.

-

Introduction and words from both of us, under the cut:

Here is the introduction!:

so, uh, italics is me (silver) and bold is eclair- writing the start of introductions feels very awkward lmao. anyways this is just… something me and eclair simultaneously spawned out of a throwaway comment in tumblr dms. i feel like thats something yall should know. zero planning is going into this, and if there is, it was on-the-spot. we are testing our improv skills! and writing this together! at the time of this introduction’s writing we have 14k words. it’s been two days. send help. the brainrot is very real and it is coming for us.

but anyways- here’s a little bit of background and information: the pov switches whenever there’s a little dash. like this. -. first it’s me, then eclair, and so on and so forth. this is just- well, i’d say jeanist on jeanist violence, but there’s no fight scenes yet, so… jeanist on jeanist kinda-sorta-maybe therapy?

i mean, this is called the interdimensional therapy au’ for a reason. but! back on topic. so basically my jeanist (will be referred to as s!jeanist, is 14-15 years old) and eclair’s jeanist (refered to as e!jeanist, around 20-22) both got hit by a quirk that yoinked both of them to e!jeanist’s place in paris. they are both from different universes. they have different backstories. they are different people, pulled from their place in the universe and into e!jeanist’s apartment…

…and then they just start talking because honestly this is an everyday thursday for both of them. mostly. kind of. s!jeanist is referred to as ‘arcane’ from e!jeanist’s pov. e!jeanist is referred to as ‘jean’ from s!jeanist’s pov. 

this is ALL the way self-indulgent and crack, just so you know. also kinda a character deep dive but lets not go into that. 

-

Well well well. ‘Tis me, Eclair, in bold! As all has already been said, this is a fun little self-indulgent crack au that honestly the brainrot has. Kinda. Taken over the entirety of brain already. Seriously, I have never written this much in such a short time span heheh….

Anyway- as it is quite literally named the Interdimensional Therapy AU, there may be some potentially triggering subjects that could pop up in the future, and I shall make sure to tag them and put up warnings before each part - please check the TWs before reading as always for your own safety and comfort!

No idea where this will go or how it’ll end up, but The Jeanists are here and they are going to have fun. Maybe. Kinda. Who knows what awaits them? I don’t think we do- but hey- if they don’t have fun, at least we will >:)

Oh. and at the time of finishing this introduction. We are now at just over 16k words. I think the brainrot is too strong…

-

we wrote our parts separately over the course of like, three, two hours? damm we might actually reach 20k today/tomorrow

oh yeah also these two are ‘divergent’ jeanists in the jean-multiverse. not alternate! theres a small difference lmao so it doesn’t matter, i am simply being Picky With Words

-

Please enjoy and look forward to it!! May we all try and find out how this will end up.

#tw caps #bnha #best jeanist #hakamada tsunagu #eclair's aus #(with friend <3) #Interdimensional Therapy AU #this is so fun #genuinely the brainrot is too strong #i shall post the first part tmr or the next day so look out for it yall #i think youll enjoy iy #it* #and the pure crack it contains

[v-e-l-v-e-t-g-o-l-d-m-i-n-e]

Ok so! A few comments about this second season of Good Omens, spoilers everywhere.

I said it yesterday, but this season is very strange in a structural way. It feels very much like a filler season, the way we used to have filler episode in shows with long seasons. That’s because the plot is so irrelevant it, it’s hard to describe because really, what is the plot? Gabriel’s amnesia? Hell and Heaven wanting to re-start the Armageddon again?

None of the threats of this season feel particular dangerous, because the story doesn’t treat them as such, therefore they aren’t. Really, the main plot of this season is like... This Is How Crowley And Aziraphale Broke Up Even If They Never Even Dated In The First Place.

The characters in this season don’t feel like characters, they are more like... plot devices? Nina and Maggies, especially. They are there to be a mirror to Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship, to parallel them. They don’t feel like full fleshed people, because really, what reason did they have to stay behind and help Aziraphale fight off demons? They barely knew each other lmao

And the scene of them going to talk with Crowley... this is such a classic move in slash fics. I have seen a fic with a scene like this in every fandom I was ever a part of. There’s always the Smart Woman character who comes up to tell off (either gently or not) that he is emotionally stunted and needs to open up and show his feelings. In fact, in Good Omens fic I usually see people give Anathema this role; I’m wondering if it will change now after this season.

But I have to point out that I think this was actually a strenght for this season, and not a weakness. Most people, me included, who came back to watch this season wanted more Aziraphale and Crowley, and that was what this season delivered; even if it feels woinky in a structural way, I think it was probably for the best, and the right call to do because honestly I didn’t really care for much else anyway lmao.

That is not to say I didn’t like Nina and Maggie, because I did actually, and I’m glad Nina is free of her shitty controlling girlfriend.

Gabriel and Beelzebub on the other hand... lmao. I mean, I guess it’s not badly done, but it feels so much like crack fic for me, I’m sorry, it’s really hard to take it seriously.

As always I love the flashbacks and how it showed us more about Crowley and Aziraphale, but... I was also a bit underwhelmed. The one I liked the most was the one with the Story of Job. I was really looking forward to the Blitz flashback, and the scenes with Crowley and Aziraphale were very sweet but... there was so much stuff about the demons and the nazi zombies and I just. I don’t care about it. Why so much time was taken to show us this. smh

On a similar note, some of the scenes have a humor that... I guess it’s not my preference, because it was a bit painful to watch. In a bad way. Like the laudanum scene with Crowley getting small and big like... eh. The acting feels a bit too much to me? Like in the way that Shatner would act in Star Trek you know? Bit too much. But I do think that David Tennant is a pretty good actor so I’m blaming direction (or lack of it) here.

I have also a lot to say about Crowley and Aziraphale, but this post is already too long so I’ll do it in another one.

#bruna watching good omens #good omens spoilers

[landofspaceandrainbows]

nice

Ok, i think it’s totally fucking wild that my absolutely favorite “crack” (taken seriously) theory is somewhat coming true ??  like the one i feel kinda actually emotional about! Srsly!

aka the SMP multiverse

Like it’s def. not *my* version of the theory ofc, but *a* version!  it’s the various creator’s version.  but like good for them.  and omg o m g.

cool.

(It’s the one i wrote a few bad double drabbles and the story “on the origins of lives” on ao3 about)

more rambling about “my version” under the cut

and rambling about why i get emotional about, the idea, at least my version (i don’t want to put any weird pressures on the SMP creators or their version) and why i get emotional about the story too.

and yes, i am thinking of a sequel

the story, https://archiveofourown.org/works/40205097

~

so, like, the crack idea (LOSAR’s version) is the idea that all the SMP roleplay servers are linked in a multiverse, though quite loosely.  And also wrapped into my thoughts or ideas are some vague stuff about admin powers and mod powers and viewers - (and watcher / listener lore from Evo and 3rd Life being loosely tied to that)

so the main crack idea that’s kinda grown into this emotional thing, at least for me, (and it is Crack), is the whole joke bit video where Grian and Tommyinnit meet up, aka “I Tried to get Grian to Swear”, also known as “the one where they have a building competition” and also get weirdly posessively desirous about Mumbo Jumbo....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDBeFoZxhIc&t=4s

Anyway, the idea i had is it actually seems to fit well with other stuff with their HC and Dream SMP roleplay characters, and like they actually play off eachother surprisingly well there.  And it’s a chance for both groups to see how “the other half” lives. and they have fun.

~

So the background of these people is that, oh boy, Tl:dr the relevant parts here is that HermitCraft SMP where Grian usually plays is.... you could call it upbeat, cheerful, and pranksterish but friendly, but not romantic at all.  Pretty much anything of that aspect has to be Teen rating.  And that includes explicit “straight” stuff too, btw. it’s like a friend molecule.  Whereas the Dream SMP, where Tommy’s from, does have that aspect, many gay, straight, poly, marriages. and a lot of passion and genuine caring.  also to put what you heard about bluntly, it may not be the worst.... Dream SMP is a hellhole.  This is just to set the scene if you know nothing.

So anyway, (in the joke video i referenced, and in my story) this is a time when the two groups meet.   And see how they live, and swap stories, and yes build a pair of cottagecore cottages for winner’s clout.

And (in my story at least)  they see things in eachother.  Grian sees how scarred Tommy is (and how annoying and weird to be around) but also how *passionate* and willing to express how he feels about Grian and Mumbo Jumbo, even if it’s in a little bit of a yandere stan way lol.  (understatement)

While Tommy sees in Grian and Mumbo.... one: how absolutely power hungry they are.  Like they really like to influence things, really.  and that they are inhuman.  And well... on the Dream SMP, neither fares very well really.  If you’re power hungry (like Dream) you become everyone’s enemy.  and there’s so many inhumans/part humans on the DSMP, but g d do they go through some hard times because of it, and can’t even talk to it with anyone. Ranboo is part enderman and has to deal with Follish killing other endermen in front of him and rain and snow burning hi,m.  Philza is winged, but has his ability to fly stripped due to injury almost immediately upon joining the server.  And yet - to Tommyinnit’s wise eyes - Mumbo and Grian are liked and respected on HermitCraft. wtf.

And ofc, the contest ends with Grian winning and taking Tommy’s prized elytra (a pair of minecraft wings) as a prize (this will be important later)

~

So just like Dream XD is Dream in admin form - a God in the minecraft world.... the two go off into Admin Mode (which side note, in my story is Watcher Mode for Grian)

And they go talk to Mumza.

And For the Third Life/Last Life/Double Life series - Grian institutes a loooot more passion.  and also a LIMITED CANONICAL LIFE SYSTEM like they have in THE DREAM SMP.  And finally gets a chance to cling to Scar and Mumbo (but at what cost? “I don’t feel too good about this”)

And for the ORIGINS SMP - Admin Tommyinnit, Tommy XD, institutes unlimited lives, sure, that dcan’t be understated, but also (maybe more importantly) free use of powers or abilities. yes! Elytras, shulkers, ender pearls, teleportation.  Just like on HermitCraft.  and also * the ability to talk about all this stuff *

(notice any patterns on what species people chose on origins? Tubbo starts as the most highly armed and armored species in the game, Phil has elytra wings, Ranboo is an enderman, Will a ghost, Niki was surrounded by fire, now she’s surrounded by water, Jack had to claw his way out of hell after dying in one of Tommy’s stupid wars on the DSMP and always resented him for it, now he starts in hell on the O SMP and has Tommy come to see him and help him get back.)

Anyway, and Tommy is an Avia, who doesn’t have full elytra and can’t fly but has (cute little) vestigial wings.

And who’s favorite jokingly annoyed phrase is “Phiiiil, i wanna fly like you phil!”

And Tommy’s also said that unlike the Dream SMP the disc thing doesn’t apply here.

~

So....

(now do you maybe start to see where the elytra comes in?)

On Dream SMP, Tommy gives his music discs away to Dream ( XD ) for everyone’s freedom.  and constantly wants them back.

On ORIGINS SMP, planeswalker Admin Tommyinnit XD Gives his elytra to Grian (Watcher) for the ideas of the Origins SMP.  And is like “I wanna fly like you Phil.”

(because if you notice, i think part of the “Tommy” personality in any universe, besides being selfish, and talking about girls, and talking shit to ppl, is being willing to give up things he cares about for his friends ).... (and oh boy, grian will take anything, anything that isn’t nailed down. )

But deep down I think he’s a little “happy” with both cases.

and i know this is a different multiverse thing. And i just like multiverses and planeswalkers in general.

But this is part of why i’m emotional about it, if i am.

~

(and why.... forget grian adopting tommy, how about i ship some Tommyinnit and Grian and Mumbo Jumbo) < 3

~Edit:

P S - and its a bit off topic, but let me tell you about Lifesteal SMP and what happens there since they have an airport to the Dream SMP.

#mcyt #the MCYT multiverse #potentially #my writing #3rd life smp #trafficblr #Dream smp #origins smp #osmp #grian #hermitcraft season 9 #hermitcraft

[digitalmedia-curation]

Stereotypes and Video Games

When a kid goes to the store to buy a toy or video game, it is a common occurrence for them to choose a game based on what fits into the current stereotype regarding gender. To be more specific, boys often consciously steer away from games that appear feminine or girly, not because they personally think that it would be a bad game but because they typically view games or objects depicting the opposite sex to be simply untouchable. People like those as kids often grow up to be those who often discriminate and harass others for transitioning or conducting activities that are feminine if they are male or masculine if they're female. In the video gaming community, most commonly, boys or men are often looked down upon or insulted for playing video games that are “made for girls”. It’s just like how a group of kids would make fun of a boy for playing with dolls.  Most likely, every boy has had that or a similar experience growing up, where they have had experience personally or are just widely aware of that predicament from knowing their ‘friends’. It’s an experience where they are looking at all of the games on display in the store and instantly try to avoid looking at the ones in a bright pink and white casing since they knew the person next to them would judge them for even picking it up. Although the main concept of discrimination does affect both ways, for females it is a bit different. For one, girls are not seen as gamers to begin with. Society has had a well-known stereotype that girls are bad at gaming for some reason. They apparently crack under the pressure of the level difficulty and make careless mistakes that could irritate any gamer, at least on paper. That alone makes people less inclined to want to play video games with females, since they automatically assume that they’re a trash gamer. Though more recently society has come to acknowledge that there are good female gamers, so that little assumption began to wane bit by bit, only to be replaced with another form of discrimination that sets female gamers apart from the males. That alone being the sexual appeal they intentionally or unintentionally give off. When female gamers set up their streams or videos, some tend to wear questionable clothes or act sultry to gain the audience’s appeal and gain more attention that will benefit their channel in the long run. The downside being that female gamers would not be taken as seriously by their peers and would often be reduced to eye candy for just their looks, similar to how female characters are portrayed as objects of sexualization in games. I once watched a lot of videos of a few men playing a first person shooting game called CS:GO, and they would often joke around and have fun with each other along with whatever random people they end up playing with. Without fail, any female gamer that shows up in their voice chat would often set them off or gain their attention, treating her as some kind of rare species while also being very sexual with their jokes and bits. Overall, it seems like both sides get treated differently for playing a type of game that goes against the typical norms of their gender. Females get sexualized and put on a sort of pedestal while men get ostracized and become a subject of torment and teasing. This kind of treatment stems from how people often treat things that are labeled as ‘different’ harshly, regardless of whether or not the difference itself actually matters. It is only when society can accept the differences in others and would try to teach the younger generations on how to do so that we can stop the discrimination and allow people to simply play whatever they want. Buying a game shouldn’t be about what other people won’t judge you for but what you genuinely think you would enjoy playing. Not only that, but people should not try to harass or sexualize female gamers just because they aren’t that common or fulfill a sort of fetish or desire males tend to have.

[lightning-kachow]

Saturday, November 4 -- Crack!ship AU: Write a crack!ship au. This should be a one shot of any characters in the roleplay, yours or someone else’s! Definition of a crackship: seriously this shit can’t happen but in an alternate universe. Add 10 applicable aO3 tags (enemies to lovers, modern au, etc.) This is a one-shot. 

Unfinished Business

Swynlake RP Universe

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Lightning McQueen (Cars), Jessie (Toy Story), Thea (Original Character), Lisa (Original Character), Alternate Universe/Canon Divergent, ghost!Thea, ghost x mortal romance, letter writing, angst, blackout poetry, seance, Lightning McQueen Sheds A Tear, non HEA, except kind of HEA, implied falling in love with your ex lover's sister, crackship, sorry Laura

I haunt this inn not because it is a gathering place for the dead, but because it is a gathering place for the living. And that first part is not unimportant— I’m quite grateful, actually, for how kind and welcoming the staff has always been to us ghosts. It’s why I came here in the first place. But it’s not why I’ve stayed.

It’s become a terrible habit, I know, the way I fall in love with the living from time to time. They can’t even see me. But can you blame me? They shine so brightly, some of them especially so, and I am like a moth drawn to a flame. A creature of shadow who simply can’t resist a glimpse of the light.

That’s what they call him. Lightning. Lightning McQueen.

~~~

Lightning was beginning to adjust to the… ghostliness of the Inn. It still kind of freaked him out, but he barely noticed anymore, the way the curtains fluttered when there was no breeze in the room or the doors creaked open to rooms he was just about to enter. He’d noticed the latter a lot lately— it was kind of nice, actually. Someone looking out for him. Fancy that.

“Thanks, babe,” he’d taken to saying when a door would open just for him, which he knew was kind of weird, but he missed saying “thanks, babe” to babes. 

The front desk agent, an older woman whose name tag read “Lisa,” raised an eyebrow at him. “She has a name, you know,” she pointed out.

“Wait, really?” Lightning hadn’t meant it all that seriously, but now he was curious. “Well, what’s her name?”

“Thea. One of our ghosts. I’m surprised she did that for you, it’s been a while since she was that friendly with someone. She must really like you.”

Lightning just nodded, a strange expression on his face. “Thanks, Thea,” he said to the presence in the room.

“She likes letters, by the way,” Lisa added. “If you ever think about writing one.”

~~~

No, Lightning had not thought about writing a letter. Or letters, period. He wasn’t a writer. And anyone he needed to keep in touch with was simply a text, a phone call, a DM away (not that there were many of those left). He could fire off messages without thinking about them. 

Now, sitting here with his pen and his Hauntley Inn stationery, Lightning remembered why he didn’t write letters. They were so slow. And his handwriting was pretty sloppy. He felt like a kid again, struggling to say what he really meant on a lined piece of paper to be judged…

And yet, once he started writing, he couldn’t seem to stop.

He poured his heart out. About how lonely he felt, how everyone loved him and yet he didn’t feel like anyone really cared. How he’d failed so many people, so maybe he didn’t even deserve that— and yet, he craved it anyway. How he had no idea what was next for him, if there even was a “next.”

He left it out on his nightstand, feeling a bit embarrassed and half-tempted to throw the whole thing in the bin. But he thought of what Lisa had said— how Thea was rarely “friendly” with the guests. Being a ghost must be lonely too, right?

Lightning was just about to leave the room when he got the sense of something moving in the air behind him. He whipped around to see… a leak? From the ceiling? Right above his nightstand? Well, that was strange…

Several water droplets had landed on the letter. On the word “lonely.” And the word “worried.” And then, at the very end, a whole sentence: I find myself thinking about you a lot.

Lightning smiled to himself, feeling like a kid once again, but this time in a different way. He felt giddy. Maybe he didn’t have to tell the front desk about the leak quite yet.

~~~

As the weeks stretched on, the letters seemed to pour out of Lightning, like a valve had been opened and all those feelings he’d never known how to put into words had finally found their reader. The ceiling continued to leak, highlighting points that Thea seemed to agree with. Once, Lightning tried cutting letters out from magazines to see if she could spell them out herself, and she rearranged them into: I QUITE LIKE YOU. 

Lightning blushed. He hadn’t felt this way in a long, long time.

He began a mission to learn a much about Thea as he could, asking the staff and soon the other guests. Some of the stories were funny. Some were sad. In many of them, Lightning couldn’t help but see himself. It was strange, how much in common he had with a woman whom he couldn’t even see. But when he brought her up to a certain vampire in dark shades, the woman had a very different reaction.

“Who told you that name?” she demanded. Lightning’s eyes widened.

“Uh- Lisa. At the front desk?” Lightning said uncertainly. “I’m sorry, is it, uh, a bad topic?”

“No, it’s just…” Jessie sighed. “That’s my sister. Thea. I just… I feel terribly for her. She’s so lonely. And she’s tried to move on, but she just can’t seem to. I don’t know what’s keeping her here.”

Lightning’s eyebrows furrowed. “Oh. I’m sorry,” he said, because even though he didn’t have siblings, he knew it was a terrible thing to lose one. “Ghosts… they usually have unfinished business, don’t they?”

Jessie nodded. “Usually. But we can’t seem to figure out what hers is.”

That was complicated. On one hand, Lightning had only just met Thea— as much as you could “meet” a ghost, anyway. He didn’t want her to disappear! But he could see how much this hurt Jessie, the fact that her sister was suffering. And though he’d only known the ghost for a short while, he didn’t want her to suffer, either.

“We’ll figure it out,” Lightning promised. 

“I’ll help.”

Both of them whirled around to see Lisa from the front desk standing in the doorway. Just as they started to ask how, Lisa put a hand up to stop them.

“I’m a medium. We’ll hold a seance,” she explained. 

~~~

Lightning, Jessie, and Lisa gathered around the table, a few candles burning in the middle. Jessie had brought Thea’s favorite book— A Room With A View— and a song she liked softly played in the background. Lightning closed his eyes. “Thea, I really just wanna talk to you,” he said softly. “So does Jessie.”

There was a silence. “I can sense her,” Lisa said. As if to confirm, the curtains rustled. “She’s here. She’s touched that we’re all here. And she’s sorry she’s been so distant, Jessie.”

Jessie was silent, but Lightning could see her eyes shining in the candlelight. He avoided his gaze, as though to give her privacy.

“Can you ask her… what she thinks it would take for her to move on? For her to take care of her unfinished business?” Lightning asked.

Lisa nodded and repeated the question. Lightning ran his hand through his hair anxiously. What if it was the same answer as always, and Thea was trapped forever?

“She says, actually… she thinks she’s ready. She wasn’t sure, but seeing you both here, she realizes she’s found what she’s looking for.”

“Really?” Jessie interjected. “What’s that?”

“She finally feels like she’s understood. She thought that no one would ever understand what it’s like to be a ghost, but talking to Lightning changed that. And… well, she’ll get mad at me for this, sorry, Thea, but she did fall in love with him a little bit. That’s not really the point, of course, but I thought you should know.”

Now Lightning was starting to tear up, too. “I fell in love with her, too. A little bit. But now she’s leaving?”

Lisa nodded. “I’m sorry.”

Lightning shook his head. “No, it’s what’s best for her. I just… I just wish it didn’t have to feel like this.”

“That’s the thing about love, isn’t it?” Jessie said softly. “Sometimes, you know you’ve felt it because losing it hurts so terribly.”

She met Lightning’s eyes across the table and took his hand. Together, they said goodbye to Thea.

And as they left the room, they realized they were still holding hands. 

Perhaps ghosts weren’t the only ones with unfinished business.

#swynwrimoemma #swynwrimoemma2023 #what can i say #im sorry #but also im not #jessie

[em-allay]

I don’t know why my head is hyper focusing so much on this Sam Bucket guy, but regardless, enjoy my different idea/head canons of my new beloved:

Sam Bucket was originally the body Sam had when he was stuck with the Egg, by being with the Egg so much, it caused the body to glitch out and go rouge. Sam doesn’t know about Sam Bucket because he no longer has a connection to the body that is Sam Bucket. Whether or not Sam Bucket is still under the Egg’s control is pretty much up to you since this is just a head canon (lol).

Either A) Sam Bucket isn’t attached to the Egg anymore and is just messing with Bad as an act of revenge from trapping him with the Egg. or B) The Egg DOES influence Sam Bucket and the reason why only Bad can see him is because the Egg is very clearly not dead and messing with Bad’s thoughts and memories (this can be supported with how Bad acted in CPK’s first dsmp stream)

Sam Bucket is now the new eldritch god that inhabits the server and has attached himself to Bad. This one is mainly because I think it’s funny, but also is influenced from Bad waking up kind of like how George wakes up after “dreaming”.

Similar to the first head canon, except Sam Bucket is the body Sam had when Dream took his first life which caused it to become unstable and therefore, unusable. Commences to go rogue and Sam no longer has a connection to said body and doesn’t know it exists. OR HE DOES BUT DOESN’T WANT TO LET PEOPLE KNOW CAUSE SECRETS. Again can go either way with this one.

Foolish commissioned Sam Nook to make Sam Bucket to be a nuisance to Bad and to prevent Bad from building anything else at the summer home.

Sam is just straight up messing with Bad but by making use of his multiple bodies. Why? Dunno. For funsies.

Sam Bucket is the first failed attempt at Sam Nook.

Sam Bucket is just Some GuyTM and he’s just Like ThatTM

#i call this: one off bit crack character taken seriously #might add more as I think of them #if you read all that- thank you #you're a saint #dsmp #dream smp #dsmpblr #eggpire #bbh #badboyhalo #awsamedude #sam bucket #headcanons #sam nook #mcyt #mcytblr #long post #the brain rot was real with this one #lore

[sukunastoy]

Boo bad news! ☹

Lemme just take a crack at getting your mind off of stuff, it might be shit because I'm not great and thinking of this stuff, but what about a strong willed woman who refuses to go down without a fight, a brat if you will 🤣 let's see what Sukuna can do with that. (The more aggressive the better 😏) Nsfw/fluff/AU whatever one sparks joy.

I love your work btw 🥰 💕

AHHH THIS TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG. (Btw the bad news went away, and turned into good news. 🥺❤ All has been okay now...)

But...I really wanted to get my idea straight for it. 😩❤ Ugh...I had so much fun writing this...I truly hope you enjoy!! And thank you so much!! 🥺👉👈💖✨

Rest is below the cut! ヾ(≧▽≦*)o

Pairings: Professor!Sukuna-Brat Tamer- x fem!student-Brat-/reader

(All characters are of legal age, Sukuna aged up more into late 30's/early 40's)

Wordcount: 5.8k+

Synopsis: You're a spoiled brat in college who doesn't like to do homework and usually you can just flash your boobs at your professors in their offices and they would drool and change your grades. But, Professor Itadori is the type of man who is going to make you EARN that grade.

CW/TW: College student/professor sex, slapping (once or twice), sorta non/con to con? (Reader already had the hots for him, just never thought it would go farther.) unprotected sex, oral sex (m. receiving), fingering (anal and vaginal), anal and vaginal sex, creampie, breeding kink, degradation, name-calling.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of JJK.

Reblogs and comments are truly appreciated!! ヾ(•ω•`)o

"Auughh...Next class we have those ridiculous reviews..." Nobara groaned while she walked with you down the hall. "Don't you have like, really good grades?" you laughed at her, brushing your hair. "Well yeah but... that's what makes these reviews suck! Total waste of time..." She continued to grumble while crossing her arms and looking at you. "And what are you getting all prettied up for?" she commented on your hair and outfit choice. "Gotta look desperate." you replied while pushing your tits up so they'd show the most cleavage.

"You want a jacket or something to cover up while in those reviews? Cause your tits are like literally hanging out." "That's kind of the point." You smirked while looking at her. "Ohhh...you harlot." She laughed while shoving your arm. You giggled innocently while shrugging. "How else will I get my grades improved? Just show some tit and the professors usually will do anything to see it again cause they're pervs. But whatever, its how I keep all my grades up."

In Professor Itadori's class, your name fell at the end of the roster, and he went in order from the top to the bottom on calling students in. Sitting in the back of the classroom while adding the last bit of makeup you wanted, you finally saw the student prior to you exit the Professor's office and you grinned in mirth. Finally.  You've never taken school seriously. Your parents sent you here to college to 'better yourself'. But it was boring, a waste of time you thought. Why spend most of your nights studying for some degree you didn't care about when you could be out partying? Unfortunately your parents were very close friends with one of the professors, and you didn't know who it was, but you didn't want news of bad grades slipping back to them or they might actually make you start paying rent or something else that was stupid.

You realized pretty quickly that if you had your tits out, face loaded in makeup, and wore provocative clothing, the professors were pretty much putty in your hands. You didn't even have to fuck them, and it made you almost pity how desperate some professors were just for some tits. Well, all besides the one elderly woman you had a class with, but luckily her class was mostly participation points, so just showing up was good enough. Professor Itadori was the only one you hadn't tried to convince yet, but that's because the first half of the semester was just lecture, and he gave like no homework at all.

Unfortunately his lectures have now included homework, and, hell no. It wasn't fair, having no homework for a while and now he wants to assign some? What a jackass.

Strutting into his office, you closed the door behind you and glanced ahead at the older pink haired man sitting at his desk looking down at some papers. Luckily he was super hot, despite being like the age of your dad, but it made it easier to look like a little slut in front of him, plus, dilf's were usually pretty easy to convince, as they were the most desperate for some attention. You've had fantasies about some of the professors here and there, and Professor Itadori was definitely on that list. What was so bad about fantasizing?

He was quiet when you walked in and briefly glanced up from his desk to greet you, cocking a brow up at your rather revealing outfit. "Miss (Y/N), please, have a seat." he said quietly, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk while looking back down at the papers before him.

"Whew, its just sooo hot out today isn't it?" You sighed while plopping down in the seat, making sure your tits bounced with your actions. "Feels like I can't ever wear a small enough amount of clothes to beat the heat."

"Hm.." Was all he replied with a nod to acknowledge you. "So, I've noticed you're not doing any of the homework. Any reason for that?"

"Oh, I don't know. Just some of the material is very, very hard." You sighed breathlessly while flipping your hair to the side and pouting out your bottom lip.

"Is that so?" he questioned, watching you as you leaned forward onto his desk, crossing your arms under your chest to push your tits up more again. "Yeah, I just don't have time to do it, all my other professors are just drowning me in homework, it really isn't fair." His gorgeous eyes never left yours, and his expression remained unfazed, which really concerned you. Most professors were already ogling your tits so hard at this point, and he didn't seem to care?  "Have you even tried to do the homework assignments?" he let out a bit of an irritated sigh, forcing your eyebrows to pinch at the bridge of your nose. What was this guys problem? Was homework honestly more important than even looking at your very obvious cleavage?

"Of course I have!" you whined loudly, plopping back in your seat while crossing your arms up under your breasts to keep them pushed up. A bit of your hair fell down into your face and you huffed out the top corner of your lips to blow it from your view. “Come on…can’t you cut a pretty girl like me some slack?” Surprisingly, that finally got a little bit of a reaction out of him as he lifted both of his eyebrows briefly. He smirked before clicking his tongue and looking back down to the papers.

"You do realize," he began while taking off his reading glasses and putting them into the drawer of his desk. "...that the homework is simply to write three things you remember from the lecture of the day, right? Each day on your online homework tab, I leave an open discussion board, and every student needs to submit something. This is mainly a lecture class. I don't even care if you were to write what color shirt I had on for the lecture. Just three things you can remember to prove to me you're at the very least paying attention in my class."

Your eyes widened a bit at his words and your lips parted slightly as your jaw started to fall. Having never actually looked at the homework, you had no idea it was something as simple as that. He probably mentioned it at some point, but you really never paid attention.

"Even if you started doing the homework now, I doubt your grade could recover before the end of the school year." he drawled while pushing a print out of your grade/assessment towards you. "You'll most likely fail my class as it requires a B or higher to move on. And I have to add, you'd be the first to ever do so. In fact," he continued while leaning back in his chair, setting his elbow on the armrest and his cheek atop his knuckles while looking at you with a displeased expression. "...you're the first student to ever drop below an A in my class. That's a bad look for me."

Scoffing while crossing your legs and returning the same dull face, you gave an uncaring shrug. "So? Just change it to an 'A' then. Can't be that difficult, you professors can do whatever you want anyway."

A grin spread across his face so slowly it honestly gave you chills.

"How about a quick lesson? It will give you a chance to redeem yourself, and I'll adjust your grade if you do well." He offered, that grin starting to show his canines and you moved your arms a bit lower from under your breasts, lessening the amount of cleavage you were trying to expose. His darkened eyes now watched you intently and you couldn't shake your sudden uncomfortable feeling.

"...Okay sure, but, what kind of lesson?"

He cleared his throat then abruptly stood up from his desk, actually making you jump slightly. "I'm assuming you have time today then? For the lesson?" He asked while walking passed you to the door of his office, locking it. You weren't the first student in his career to come into his office playing this type of game. If you wanted a better grade, you were going to get one, but you were going to work for it.

Giving another shrug, you looked back to him briefly. "I guess so. I mean you're my last class for the-....Did you just lock the door?"

"My lessons aren't easy, and once you start them, you're required to finish them." He simply replied, ignoring your question and walking back in front of you. With your jaw slightly ajar, your glared up at him as he leaned back against his desk, putting one hand into his pocket while looking down to you in the chair. His crotch was damn near in your face from his position.

"Uh, excuse me, but why the fuck did you just lock the door?" you snapped at him, standing up from the chair and putting your hand on your pushed out hip.

"Because I don't want anyone coming in, or, would you prefer that? Would you like to make your private lesson a public presentation for others?" A chuckle fell from his lips as he started undoing the buttons to his cuff links, rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt. 

“I’ll change your grade sweetheart. But you’re going to give me a lot more than just a look at your tits.” Swallowing tightly at his actions and words, your eyes looked up to him with a mix of anger and worry.

"Look dude, if you touch me, I'll fucking report your ass. And I'll tell my parents, they know someone here at the school who has a lot of power over making decisions about professors, and your career here will be over like that." you snapped your fingers at the end, a smug little grin on your face.

"Oh? And who will they believe? The professor who has been here for years, never having a student report on him before? Or, will they believe the rich, spoiled, little slut who is only good at wearing a push up bra?"

"Fuck you." you scoffed while flipping him off and yanking your bag up from the floor, slinging the strap over your shoulder. Turning to reach for the door, your eyes stared at the lock and you halted. It wasn't just a simple turn style lock...it was one where it needed a key to lock from both sides, so without the key to unlock it...

Your head slowly turned to look back at the man who had a devilish grin on his face, twirling the key ring on his finger while looking to you. "You really should learn to pay better attention to things."

"Let me out." you demanded, trying to keep your voice from cracking and your body from shaking. This clearly amused him as he let another little chuckle slip out of his throat while pocketing the key.

"You're just making all sorts of demands aren't you, ya' brat? You came in here thinking you were going to control this situation, didn’t you? Don’t tempt the lion with meat and not feed it.” Motioning with a single finger for you to come back to him,  you returned with a finger of your own, flipping him off again.  "I said, let me out."

"Get over here, and get on your knees." his voice deepened with demand, pointing down in front of himself to the ground, getting comfortable while leaning back against the desk. "If I have to drag you over here, you're not going to like it."

"If you come over here, you're not going to like it!" you yelled at him while stomping your foot.

The male could not hide the amusement on his face and he pushed away from the desk, making his way over to you and your body stiffened as he quickly approached. "From what I've heard, you don't listen in any of your classes, you don't do any of your homework in any class...you just like to go out and party. Isn't that right?"

He spoke down to you as you backed up against the door, his arms on either side of you with palms against the door frame. Your breath hitched in your throat as he caged you in, unable to keep your thighs from clenching at his domineering pose as his eyes remained on you, staring intently as if you were a meal he was about to enjoy. Fuck. Sure you’ve had fantasies but, you weren’t actually wanting this to happen!

"Answer me, you spoiled, little brat." "Y-yeah I do, but s-so what??" you did your best to remain firm, not crouching down as he was clearly wanting you to do.  "Tell me, how many times have you let those little frat boys fuck you? Or are you just a fucking tease?”

You were taken back at his tone and language, immediately slapping him across the face.  "I will scream if you don't let me out, RIGHT NOW." His head had barely turned at your minor attack, if anything it only brought a bigger smirk to his face, one you really didn't like at all. Was this entertaining to him??

"See...that's the problem with little brats like yourself." He let out a nonchalant sigh while suddenly grabbing a fistful of your hair, turning and jerking you away from the door to in front of him. You yelped out and stumbled down to your hands and knees, dropping your bag and feeling the slight burn of the rug onto your skin.  But before you could even look back or protest, the male was hunched over your back, an arm up under your throat, choking you just enough to silence your screams and another hand quickly found its way underneath your skirt, grabbing onto your lacey underwear and pulling on it harshly.

Letting out muffled and struggling screams, you tried to drop your hips to the floor to avoid his forceful touch, but he took hold of the fabric of your skirt tightly in his hand and yanked you up back onto your knees.  "As I was saying..." deep chuckles rumbled in his chest and throat, followed by almost animalistic growls as he was enjoying your sounds of struggle. Just enough air flow to breathe, but not comfortably.

Going back to your panties, he gripped onto it again and pulled harshly, jerking it down your shaking thighs to your bent knees.  "...the problem with you brats, is that you've never been fucked by a real man, so you have no manners when it comes to knowing your place."  Struggling harshly again you kept gasping for what little air you could get, mentally cursing him as you felt your whole face burn with the little oxygen you were receiving.

As soon as two of his fingers slid through your already soaked wet folds, a whine managed to escape your throat and you screwed your eyes shut, hating that you were wet from this right now. He laughed, cruelly, as he continued to prod the pads of his fingers through your lower lips, gathering slick on them until it was oozing off his hand to the floor.  His arm around your throat lessened only for him to grab onto your hair again, tangling it in his hand and holding it so tightly your head was tilting back just enough to see his face.  "S-Stop touching me!!"

He laughed loudly while tearing your underwear from your legs and scrunching it into a ball before shoving the fabric into your mouth, making your eyes widen in panic. "I love fucking little, spoiled brats like you into submission." he groaned in anticipation while smearing your own slick all over your face with his fingers, making you whine and try to thrash your head away. "The way you little sluts have no idea how to take a grown man's cock is quite amusing. You flaunt your tits and ass for it, begging for that attention, but crumble when you finally get it.”

Still struggling against his grip, he used the weight of his body to press down onto yours, keeping you in place as he stuffed two of his thick fingers inside your soaking cavern, not even wasting time as he curled them upwards, digits in so deeply that his knuckles were squishing your lips. A quiet and long moan came through your body and out as a muffle through your gag, your thighs quivering as he finger fucked you harshly, already harassing that sweet spot of yours like he was an expert at this, already a professional at bringing snotty brats like yourself to the edge of cumming so quickly.

No one has ever been able to bring an orgasm out of you with such haste, especially if even using their dicks. You cursed and screamed at him through your gagged and now dried out mouth as he added a third finger to your already fluttering and stretched hole, making your head tilt back on its own, painful yet pleasurable groans rolling in your throat.

This was it, not even 30 seconds with his thick fingers pounding into your cunt, your walls clenched tightly and you mewled out in anticipation of the hard climax you knew you were about to be given, never having anyone even come close to making you feel so fucking good.

But just as you felt yourself start to tip over that edge and release the tightened coil in your stomach, he jerked his fingers out of your desperate pussy, laughing loudly as you screamed and stiffened your body tightly with the instant loss of your release.  Your glossy eyes immediately cut back to him from the side, brows furrowed and your nostrils flared as you inhaled deeply, feeling your own teased arousal running down your thighs.

"What's wrong, little girl? Suddenly you want me to keep touching you?" his mocking voice made you scowl at him you struggled to pull your body away from him by gripping onto the rug beneath you, trying to pull yourself along it.  Surprising, he let you go and your fumbled forward down onto your face, cussing through the gag which you now pulled out of your mouth.  "You're a p-piece of shit!" your voice cracked as you scolded him, pulling your legs away from him as he stood up, smoothing out his shirt to free it of any minor wrinkles he might have obtained.

Ignoring your fussing, he started to unbuckle his belt and you and you sniffled slightly while scooting back some more from him. Fuck fuck fuck. You weren’t prepared for this. You never imagined actually having to fuck one of your professors for real!

“T-this is rape, you're raping me!"

"Shut up, you want this, you're fucking soaked." he scoffed, staring at you again with an otherwise emotionless expression, undoing the button and zipper on his pants which weren't even hiding the massive tent he was already growing.  His frame began to move towards you and you backed up against the desk more as he stopped before you, stroking the bulge through his boxer briefs.

As he pulled down his briefs and let out his cock, you leaned back in initial shock and gasped almost frightenedly at how it sprung up from his restraints, just massive and already leaking precum from the engorged tip. Literally the biggest cock you've seen in your life and it was inches from your face. 

Of course it had to be fucking gorgeous as well. "D-don't you dare!" you suddenly yelled up to him, trying to stay out of the trance that wanted to know how it felt to be stuffed so full of a cock this size.  "I am reporting all of this!" you continued to yell. "No you wont." he chuckled with confidence, stroking his length and encouraging more of that glistening precum to bead at the slit.

His arrogance only increased as you stared at his cock with wide eyes, and he slipped his shirt off over his head. Briefly your eyes flickered up to his abs and chest, tracing the tattoos over his skin that you had no idea were there, and the arousal from seeing his gorgeous body shot right down to your aching pussy.

This was a whole ass MAN infront of you right now! Not one of your classmates that you fucked around with at parties. While grabbing the base of his cock and a fistful of your hair, you let out an excitedly frightened yelp. "W-whoa! W-wait a seco-Mmph!" Not even able to finish the sentence, your mouth was stuffed full of his thick girth and your eyes widened at how much it filled your mouth.

"If you want that better grade, you have to earn it." he grunted while pulling your head closer to him, forcing more of his length into your mouth and you let out muffled moans around his cock. You held onto his pants for leverage as he quickly fucked himself into your mouth and you squirmed. Desperation grew between between your legs as you were unable to keep the thoughts of his cock fucking your aching cunt out of your mind.

Reaching a hand down underneath your skirt, you tried to relieve some of your pent up tension but Sukuna gripped onto your hair tighter and forced himself more down your throat making you choke out around his cock. "I didn't say you could pleasure yourself, did I?" He held your head tightly in place while leaving himself lodged deep down your throat and you struggled to breathe through your nose. "Not yet ya brat." He chuckled while suddenly pinching two fingers onto your nose, cutting off all air. "You going to behave now?" Looking up at him with teary eyes you whined deeply for mercy and he pulled himself all the way out of your mouth still holding you up by your hair and you choked harshly while drool from your mouth was attached to the end of his cock in thick bubbly strands.

He pulled you to the side by your hair and leaned back onto his desk, lifting one of his feet onto a chair and forcing your head back towards his cock, but you instead tried to bite him. Fuck him for thinking he can control you so easily! Your actions made him jolt his hips back quickly, keeping a firm hand in your hair so you couldn't reach forward to bite him again. "I swear I'll bite you so fucking hard if you try-"

An immediate burning sting came to the side of your face, knocking you down to the ground on your side and tears clung to the corners of your eyes as you realized he had just slapped you so hard it nearly made your vision fade for a moment.

Unable to come back to your senses yet, you felt his body come over yours again, pinning you on your belly to the floor.  "Alright, I get it, you need my fucking cock in you right now, don't you?" he chuckled into your ear and you shrieked while flailing your arms to try and move away from him but to no avail. He leaned up and grabbed both of your struggling arms, pulling them behind your back and holding your wrists firmly together with his large hand and you panted through slight sobs.

"You're a f-fucking asshole!" you cried at him angrily as he painfully pinned your wrists onto your back, your struggles hardly a problem for him.  "How about I fuck your asshole, hm? Is that what you want?" he grinned in mirth at how your body suddenly tightened before you thrashed harshly again, even clenching your thighs tightly together in protest as if you'd be able to keep him out.

"What? Never had one of those frat boys open up your ass? Oh sweetheart, let me teach you." He laughed while reaching a hand to your face, forcing two fingers inside of your mouth.  "Get them nice and wet, I don't think you want me going in dry." Trying to turn your head away you squealed and slightly bit his fingers before he could pull them from your mouth.  "I don't want you going in at all!!" "You know that’s a lie. Aw...well I doubt this is enough." He brought his two fingers back that were in your mouth and he pushed the tips of both of them into your tightened hole, sending a painful burn through your body.  "W-wait! S-stop!!" you begged, starting to cry honest tears as his fingers forced themselves deeper inside, sending more pain through you. He kept his palm turned upwards while humming in satisfaction, beginning to pump his fingers in and out of your ass, and you screamed and writhed your body in protest.  "You wanted to be a slutty little brat, so I'll fuck that attitude right out of you."  He pulled his fingers out and you exhaled sharply in relief, but immediately tensed up again when his hand moved just barely lower, collecting more of your oozing slick to give you some sort of lubrication as mercy.

Though you continued to beg for him to let you go, and to please stop, you knew why you were still so wet, and you felt so embarrassed at actually wanting him to fuck you. A strong, older man just moving you around as he pleases, using your body to humor himself...you couldn't keep your mind clear of these desires.  As you were lost in thought, that engorged tip came to your slightly prepared hole and you held your breath, tensing up harshly at whatever pain you knew was going to follow. You’d never done anal before, and you certainly weren’t prepared for it right now! "The more tense you are, the worse it hurts." he informed before using his hand to guide himself in, slowly but definitely not slow enough.

Your breath seized up in your throat as your mouth fell open, fingers clenching harshly into fists as they shook from the searing pain that was affecting your whole body.  Deep and quiet groans left his mouth as he furthered his thick length inside, inhaling deeply at the almost painful tightness.

You finally managed to make a sound, air rushing back into your lungs before being forced out again with a loud and agonizing scream. A hand was immediately clasped over your mouth, and his deep growl was in your ear. "Shut your fucking mouth and take it."

Shaking your head harshly, you continued to wail through his hand, hardly able to withstand the intense pressure and burning sensation that was not letting up and only getting worse.  "Still a little brat I see."

With a quick snap of his hips, he stuffed the rest of himself inside and you kicked your legs repeatedly, unable to bear the pain. The sound of his laughs at your sobs made you cry and seriously regret trying to get him to change your grade. You weren’t ready for this type of intense fucking!

Letting out his own groans and hums of satisfaction, he only gave you a couple seconds to settle before starting to pull back out and your head snapped up quickly with a terrified gasp as it felt like you were about to do something horrible. Were…were you about to have an accident on him??

Before you could really start to panic in sheer terror and embarrassment, he spoke to you. "It only feels like its happening, its not." he said with reassurance, knowing what you probably felt. His voice was so calming for a moment, letting you relax as your ass was slowly adjusting. 

You gulped hard as a bead of sweat rolled down your cheek, still feeling incredible pressure in your ass. But it wasn't long before he started to thrust himself in and out, forcing you to take it whether you were ready or not.

"St-sto-aah..!" a shaky moan left your lips as the torturous suffering was starting to become a delicious pain. "O-oh...f-fuuuckk..!"  He smirked upon hearing your moans, releasing your hands and gripping onto the sides of your ass, holding you firmly as he started to ruthlessly hammer into you.  Your arms laid motionlessly out to your sides and your cheek smooshed into the rug, your body being jerked back and forth by the force of his thrusts and you continued to wail but now only in erotic bliss.

Hearing his hips slap into your ass with each thrust made your eyes roll back even further. No one has fucked you so roughly before. "I knew you'd like your ass getting fucked...all of you spoiled little brats do." The comment made you shudder hard and he suddenly pulled out of you, flipping you over onto your back and holding his cock to guide it back inside quickly, picking up his brutalizing pace again immediately.

Your belly sucked in at the harsh breath you took, mouth hung open as you stared blankly up at the ceiling, nearly seeing stars as his fat cock continued to abuse your ass. Your pussy throbbed with envy, and you felt so embarrassed to feel like you were going to cum from your asshole getting fucked. "S-Sukunaaa..!" you sobbed, bringing a hand over your face as the intensity started to become too much, but he jerked your hand away and placed his own around your throat, squeezing tightly. "Disrespectful to say my first name..." he grunted with a shit eating grin on his face, moving his other hand to your jealous cunt, stuffing two of his fingers deeply inside. Your back immediately arched up off the ground from the overpowering stimulation, a silent scream barely making it out of your mouth from the tightness of his hand around your throat.

Through little shame at this point, you immediately came all over him, squirting onto his hand as his fingers continued to harshly pump your spasming cunt, the pace of his cock fucking your ass not letting up either.  "Damn...you little, bratty sluts all feel so fucking good!" he groaned in pleasure, releasing your throat and your erotic screams instantly poured out, hands returning to the side of your face as you held your own head, trying not to go insane from the amount of pleasure and stimulation.  "P-please..! F-fuck..Please! I ca...I can't..!"

Pulling his fingers out of your drenched cunt, he flicked his hand off to the side, forcing off any excess slick and removing his cock from your ass at the same time, only to adjust his hips and bury himself deeply inside of your still cumming pussy. Your legs fell wide open to the sides, unable to even stop your body from succumbing to its desires and his hands grabbed tightly at your waist, holding you firmly as he rutted himself harshly into your cunt, silently enjoying hearing his first name leaving your lips again as he was fucking you stupid at this point.

Feeling your gummy walls start to tighten again, you sobbed from the pleasure, your knees lifting and hugging the side of his hips as he panted with every forceful thrust, small droplets of sweat falling from his chest down onto you as he was starting to chase his own release.

One of his hands came up under your back, lifting you up higher as his cock began to hammer into your cervix and your tongue hung from the side of your mouth, eyes rolled back as you were drowning in the best fucking ecstasy and pleasure you've ever felt in your life.  Your walls were so stretched you were convinced you would be sore from the ferocity of his thrusts, and the thought of no one else being able to make you feel this euphoric plagued your mind.

"You wanna cum again on this fucking cock?" he cooed at your dazed face and you whimpered while nodding your head, your hands desperately grabbing onto his shoulders as you couldn't hardly take it anymore.  "Beg me." he lustfully growled and you cried out while leaning your head back.  "P-please...le-let me cum...let me fucking cum o-on your f-fat fucking cock..!"

"More, you little brat. Beg for that grade."

Your nails started to dig into his skin as you couldn't find your voice, your mind delirious at the sound of your sloppy pussy being railed so abusively by this older man with this gorgeously huge cock, who didn't succumb to your bratty desires and demands. Fuck, it was insanely sexy to be put in your place for once...  "I...I wan-wanna cum...and..a-and get a better grade, p-please...fuck!" you babbled incoherently and he moved a hand to the top of your stretched out lower lips, the pads of his fingers quickly circling over your clit and your breath seized in your throat again, all air and sound silencing from your mouth as your body convulsed and shook with the most intense orgasm you've ever felt, tearing through you before finally forcing you to breathe again as you screamed through your high, dropping your head and arms back to the ground. Sukuna kissed your neck while still fucking you mercilessly through your orgasm, no intelligible words spilling from your lips and he grinned in arrogance at how dumb on his dick you were.

"Want my fucking cum, brat?" he panted through a growl, fingertips digging into your skin almost painfully as he held your waist again tightly.  "Want me t-to...hnm...fill your fucking pussy up, send you home dripping with my cum?"  You nodded your head quickly, unable to find your sanity or voice but you wanted to be so full of his cum, wanting to be a little cumslut just for him. "I'm gonna fill your little, fucking cunt..!" He groaned deeply, and you latched your legs around his waist tightly.

He adjusted his hips again as he bullied his cock in further, hitting your womb repeatedly until his thrusts finally faltered and he growled harshly in ecstasy, spurting thick, white ropes of his cum inside your still quivering and gladly accepting walls.

You cried out at his release, a hand back over your bashful face before he finally slowed and halted his movements, stopping a moment to let both of you come down from your highs. You could still feel his cock pulsing and throbbing inside of you and you looked up to him with a heated and flushed face.  "Hmm...not such a disobedient brat now, are you?" A smirk showed off his canines and he brought a hand to your face, gently pushing your other hand away as his thumb wiped your sticky tears from your skin.  Shaking your head at his words, you sniffled and nuzzled his hand, holding it close to your face while trying not to cry again as you still felt the aftershocks of your explosive orgasms traveling throughout your exhausted body.  "I say you've earned your A, you filthy, little slut."

Your face was still flushed and you looked to the side in embarrassment as he sat back up onto his knees from your body.  "Except..." he started and you looked over to him with worry in your eyes. "...I think you need to visit me in my office more. I could give you all kinds of different lessons, help you maintain that good grade for such a good girl..."

You felt like you could cum again just from the idea of knowing you get to enjoy his fat cock again sometime, and hopefully soon. You'd do whatever he wanted, he could have your body, it was all his.  Standing up to his feet and stretching his arms above his head, his muscles flexing with it, you remained on the floor in awe while watching him. "See, all you needed was an older mans dick to put you in your place. Fucked that bratty attitude right out of you. Those little frat boys wont ever be able to fuck you like that, no wonder you were such a little bitch." He chuckled, reaching a hand down to you to help you up off the floor.  You took his hand, legs wobbling as you tried to stand and you finally exhaled deeply, not sure if you were down from your high yet or not.  After you were able to stand on your own, he slapped your ass and you yelped, your face heating up and you looked at him quickly.  "I enjoyed stretching that ass of yours open, teaching you things you've never been taught, next time I'll teach you something else that's new." You swallowed hard and quivered, almost unable to wait for the next time you needed to come talk to him for 'help' with your grade.  “T-thank you, sir.” You struggled, weakly searching around for your panties, already feeling his abundant cum starting to run down your thigh.

He gave a slight nod before picking up his shirt from the floor. “Wait…” he said while standing up straight now and looking over to you with a very serious expression. “…you’re on birth control, right?”

|| Hope you enjoyed! Please comment and reblog! ||

#sukuna smut #Sukuna jjk #sukuna x reader #Sukuna x you #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen #jjk

[husbandohunter]

A Small Predicament [Baby Genshin x Reader]

Characters: Scaramouche, Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Xiao, Zhongli, Albedo

Synopsis: Cursed for a week, the boys either have to live with it or find a cure as soon as possible. You on the otherhand hoped otherwise.

(A/n): It only takes ONE glance for me to start having ideas. It was twelve in the morning yall, enjoy~

Oh here's part 2

--------

Scaramouche

• "Oh you shrank? I couldn't tell-"

• Threatens that he will murder you to pieces and burn your remains but his voice was so squeaky and high pitched (voice crack) that you couldn't help but burst into a tearful laughter. 

• Its payback time  Bully him, take his hat and hover it above his head. Truthfully, without his hat Scaramouche looks like a little schoolboy. Overall less intimidating.

• Tries glaring. Cute. He's really bratty as a kid, sitting on a high chair (which you had to help him get on) and demanding his servants to do his bidding. In reality, his personality never changed. You realized that even as a grown up he still acts like this (bratty kid in a grown man body).

• The curse made his week a living hell. Signora had the audacity to pull his ear when he misbehaves. Childe constantly messes with his hair while giving head pats and the WORST of all, pinching his cheeks. Scaramouche never wanted to commit arson so bad in his life.

• Eventually finds a cure so he doesn't have to deal with it anymore and orders everyone to never speak of it again. Though, he's plotting how he'll get revenge on everyone who made fun of him using the very same curse (You better run).

~~x~~

Diluc

• "Oh…Oh my! Diluc you're just so cute!" 

• Diluc grimaces as you glomp him in this state. How can you help it? With his head so small it makes his hair all the more fluffier! His coat no longer fits him to the point the sleeves had made past his fingertips. He tried wielding his claymore again, only to lose balance and fall flat onto his bum

• (insert kid voice "Retribution!") Did I mention the babyface?

• Diluc tries to act as if everything was normal, acting like the Darknight hero and Mondstadt's Tycoon but fun-sized. He couldn't. There was no way people would take him seriously in business meetings. Same with fighting abyss mages, his smaller form was too much of a disadvantage. Thus you ended up doing most of his paperwork.

• One time you caught him sitting on the floor couldn't reach his office desk  while reading away the various books for a cure. It was three in the morning. You told him it was way past his bedtime and he argues saying when did he ever have a curfew schedule. In the end you managed to convince him and he begrudgingly obliges.

• The type to NOT ask for help even when it's obvious that he really needs it. Before he was the one who helped you reach things from the top shelves, oh how the tables have turned. He avoids Kaeya like a plague unless he was in it for another round of funny remarks. When he wanted to go out and get some fresh air, you insisted on accompanying him. Worst mistake in his life. A travelling merchant bumps into you and commented that you had a very cute son. Diluc was mortified.

• The day ended up with him sulking in his room. Although it was tempting, you resisted from cooing over his adorable form after days of treating him like a child. It wasn't because you were teasing him, Diluc just works so hard that you wanted to spoil him a bit. At least he could still play a game of chess with you.

• When things went back to normal, Diluc ensures that you will NOT see him as your son.

~~x~~

Kaeya

• "Well look who it is, my little Prince Kaeya~"

• Tries really hard not be bothered by it at all. Kaeya still maintains his suave facade, throwing in a couple of flirting lines here and there (and forcing his voice to go a few octaves too low in which puberty has yet to occur HA). Though no matter what approach, he couldn't ignore the sparkling mischievious glint in your eye. You were obviously not taking him seriously.

• Things couldn't get any worse. He lost his masculine physique and boob window, he wasn't able to go to certain places without supervision. But the worst thing of all was that he was underaged. Kaeya hated the fact he couldn't drink anymore, he even insisted you to sneak him a few bottles (which you refused) and had to settle with plain beverages such as fruit juice (what an insult). He was never really grounded since his childhood days but he certainly felt like he was grounded now. 

• Kaeya still kisses you on the lips whether you like it or not. If you ask him to sit on your lap, he will find a way to turn the position into his favour such as resting his face between your breasts. You're not gonna treat him like a kid, nuh-uh, he actively avoids it.

• Since his personality still remains, Kaeya is a naughty child. He will use his innocent appearance to sway people (even you) to get what he wants. That was how he was able to take a sip of the wine he stole somewhere (he wouldn't tell you). Diluc scolded him heavily and threatened to ban him from drinking from his Tavern for a week (they ended up arguing, Kaeya being the passive aggressive little shit he is).

• He was extremely relieved to return back to his normal form again. He has so much to catch up (specifically his bedtime activities with you *wink wonk*)

~~x~~

Child(e)

• "Hmmm to be honest, this actually suits you very much."

• Unlike the other boys, Childe was completely okay with it. Turns out that YOU were the one who was not going to be okay. If you thought taking care of Teucer was energy-draining then expect Childe to take that tenfold and beyond.

• You've officially became his full-time babysitter who is in desperate need of a raise (and rest). You can't take your eyes off of him and archons forbid that he will ever meet Klee. One point he'll be running ahead by your side and the next you'll find him getting himself in a 1vs7 situation with some shady looking treasure hoarders. Childe genuinely thinks he could take them on but the curse downgraded his abilities. You carried him and barely made out of it alive. (This made you ponder whether the best solution would be to strap him against a chair for the time being…)

• Childe being a child will eat all the candies and ice cream he pleases. You wonder if the curse also turned him a few years back or was it that he acts like this simply because he wanted to (it was the latter). He loves being spoiled, spoiled by you! Childe demands your full attention, spoon-feeding his meals, back rubs and head pats. Yep, he's definitely doing this on purpose.

• Did he just call you 'mommy'? (Childe has mommy kink confirmed).  He has so much energy that it was exhausting, you literally had to drag him away from what ever he was doing in order to get him to bed. "No Childe, your sleeping time is 9p.m stop whining." He bargained that he'll sleep if you sleep beside him (you didn't get any sleep. You knew what he was planning. In the end, you tried to make sure he didn't sneak out behind your back.)

• Finally you were able to get out of that hell-hole. Childe promised to make it up to you, you deserve it after all~

~~x~~

Small (aka Xiao)

• "Did you know in the Liyuean language, Xiao translates to small?" You didn't say that out loud. Not when he's this angry (this angy)

• He just stands there, crossing his arms and grumbling. You were hesitant to touch him in case he might hiss at you. Xiao has always been short, maybe an inch taller than you, but seeing him like this made you think 'my almighty yaksha can't be this cute♡'

• He gets mad when you no longer call his name for help. How could you? He's just so precious~ Xiao makes it clear that no matter what form he takes, it doesn't make him weak ("Adepti and you mortals are nothing alike." Or so he says but you could tell he wasn't running as fast as he used to because…small legs). You may not comment on it aloud but he can tell just by the look on your face and it irritates him.

• Also the type to not ask for help but worse. Xiao is an agressive little kid, he seems as if he'll be willing to bite someone's finger off if they try to pet him (He gives strong cat vibes, so thats understandable). His spear was too big for him to wield so he often has to put it away or else he might knock someone over with it. Xiao hates being short so you'll be hearing him complain alot.

• Since he was an adepti, he didn't need to sleep however, the curse must have brought down his power by a significant amount to the point you DID catch him napping. You almost swooned out loud just by taking a glance upon his face. For once he didn't wear his signature grumpy look. Xiao appears like a normal child, one full of innocence. His snoring was soft and breathly but that just meant he was deep asleep. (You wished to take a picture). 

• Of course, everything had to come to an end (much to your disappointment), he still complains about the incident to this day.

~~x~~

Zhongli

• How is it possible for a baby to still look so handsome? (Must be his godly abilities)

• Zhongli is unfazed by this 'curse' since his past lives have already taken many forms. Though for some reason whenever he walks down the streets of Liyue, young girls, mothers, ladies all come him was and start complimenting him and gushing over him (he was suffocating). They'd squeeze him tight or squish his cheeks, it only takes once glance before the little girls start blushing and hiding behind their moms.

• Needless to say, despite what form he is in, Zhongli is still able to get free stuff. He got some free candies and some free kites to play with. You had to help him carry his items. Zhongli ends up tripping too much because his tailcoat reached his feet (he decided to just take it off. You had to hold that too). Seems like he can have anyone do things for him in the end HA.

• He still got that drippy voice and you're just like ???? "What on Teyvat Zhongli, you're a kid." This is why you can't see him as one, its nearly impossible.

• Actively avoids Hu Tao and Childe. Once Hu Tao caught sight of him and chased him for hours, he couldn't stay in one spot knowing that she might just pop out of no where. Childe still spoils him, however Zhongli feels irritated by the fact the only things Childe buys him toys (its different when other people do it.)

• Everytime you guys go back strolling through Liyue, you had to hold his hand in case more women come swarming hin again. You swear that at this rate he might get kidnapped because hes just such a beautiful baby.

• Zhongli learned an important lesson after his curse was lifted: no matter how many years he lives throughout  never take a form of a child.

~~x~~

Albedo

• You find him buried beneath a pile of books and had to dig him out before he suffocates.

• Albedo has the cutest eyes, they're big and round full of curiosity and they sparkle too (he has the prettiest eyes out of everyone tbh). He is the only person who is fascinated by this outcome and immediately goes in the wild to test out his new physique. 

• He was always curious why Klee T-poses when she runs so he decided to try it out himself. She was thrilled to find out that she now has a little brother to play with. In the end, Albedo indulges in the games she always wanted to play but couldn't because he was too old: princess dress up tea parties.

• You felt many things when you saw Albedo wearing a frilly gown and a plastic tiara tucked on his head. Deep down you knew regardless of what gender Albedo was still pretty. Klee even had the guts to redo his hair and hardly anyone was able to recognize it was him at all. He has pigtails, PIGTAILS! You made sure to burn that image into the very depths of your mind forever.

• The only advantage was the he was ablw to fit through small spaces, other than that, being small was way too inconvenient. He knocked down a few of his potion bottles which damaged the floor (thankfully not him) because they were lethal (he wonders how Klee was able to not injure herself when using bombs). You carried him and lifted him to alot of places such as trudging through the snow because Albedo would surely fall on his face due to his small form.

• Enough was enough, he only lasted a day with this and decided to just make a potion and put an end to the curse once and for all. 

#genshin impact #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #albedo x reader #zhongli x reader #xiao x reader #childe x reader #genshin impact scaramouche #genshin impact headcanons #diluc #diluc ragnvindr #Kaeya #kaeya alberich #tartagalia x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #nya writes #scaramouche x reader

[hiddenlife-manager]

Hii, can you do a Nsfw Alphabet Odasaku, please?

Odasaku NSFW Alphabet

Buy me a Coffee

There are going to be SPOILERS!!!

I love this man so much the reason why my standards are so freaking high. ( SPOILER )A man who is willing to take care of children he isn't biologically related and would die for them ugh!

A = Aftercare (After those moments how are they)

Okay, there are some bungou stray dogs characters not the greatest at aftercare or just never does it and this man is not part of that group. His aftercare is not the best but it isn't the worst. He will always be there wiping down your body with a soft towel he just bought. He would also get up and make your food to eat if you are hungry.

B = Body Part ( Favorite body part from them and you)

He is an ass man and there are reasons as to why. One you can grip them during sex for support, two you can kiss such an ass and well it is soft. Well, that is what he loves about an ass yet if you don't have that it won't bother him any ass is an ass.

C = Cum (How much do they cum, headcanon of their cum, anything!!!!)

Oda is in the category of the average amount of cum only reaching around 3.35 ml which isn't much but enough. His cum has a little sweet hint to it while most men are a bit salty or metallic. Where he cums though is almost always your belly he isn't sure about cumming in you for most of the relationship.

D = Dirty Secret (Something no one else knows but them)

More like a dark secret of the both of you, there is a video recording of the two of you fucking. This sex tape is so embarrassing for him even if on multiple occasions he thinks you are the hottest in it. He just can't believe he did that.

E = Experience (What have they done before you? Do they even know what they are doing?)

Eh had some flings here and there not really the type to have a long-term sexual relationship. He did once go out with a girl because Dazai wanted to go out with the other twin. That did end with him having a night with the girl and well he was tied to the bed and had a knife to his throat he vowed never to go on a double date with Dazai.

F = Favorite Position (self-explanatory)

This man is all about being simple and vanilla and that is what you love about him. Of course, his go-to is a missionary and he gets that it is simple and basic so he also really enjoys Plain. Though the name is pretty much calling it simply the fact that your ass is slightly up for him to fuck behind.

G = Goofy (Serious during it or maybe be cracking jokes midway)

Midway he can be serious and on some points, he can be a bit of a jokester typically will crack jokes when you are nervous or he is. If that isn't the case then it'll be a bit more serious.

H = Hair (Are they clean-shaven, taken care of, length?)

For once a guy who doesn't trim even if someone asks or even goes bare. He will go full natural and you better like it. The color is almost aburn beautiful and just ugh! Seriously the hair on his balls is extremely pretty.

I = Intimacy (In a romantic view how are they during it)

He lacks being romantic with many tries he will attempt but he is so busy already that being romantic in bed is hard for him to remember. Don't get him wrong maybe on valentines day he will set the bed up for you with roses, comfortable sheets, and candles.

J = Jack Off (A headcanon of them)

I don't see him as a man to jack off most of it is that he holds a lot of respect to you that if he jerks off with you on his mind it makes him feel extremely dirty. This being said the only times he does is when you send him photos.

K = Kink (Things they are super into, maybe even more than one)

Anal now I have mentioned how he loves a good ass quite a bit and I am right for that he loves an ass. So the idea of penetrating an ass is extremely erotic to him. Of course, it is on the low spectrum of erotic still hot to him.

L = Location (Where would they do it)

Anywhere in your apartment. He doesn't mind anywhere in your apartment. As long as the both of you are comfortable he is fine with it. He does have a preference for soft beds or couches anything soft and that is where he most likely will fuck you.

M = Motivation (What is getting them in the mood)

At times you wear lingerie and that makes him turn red in the face. The fact that you went out to buy fancy underwear is lovely. When you wear lingerie you are always calling for a day off the next day.

N = NO (Would not do at all no matter what, or like a complete turn-off.)

Child play and I hate mentioning this "kink" but for him, it is totally understandable. He hates the idea of anyone acting at an age that isn't theirs and also he has children he really cares for. Why would he find it attractive an adult dressing like a kid?

O = Oral (Enjoy it, giving or receiving. Skill, or even headcanon of it)

He isn't really the one receiving the one thing he is good at is giving oral. He believes that giving oral shows how much he cares for you that he is putting so much effort in pleasuring you not just himself in the process. The full focus is on you.

P = Pace (How fast are they)

In the middle too slow will make him feel like it is a waste of time. He cares for you but his life outside of you requires his focus as well. Don't get upset about it he won't go so fast that it makes you feel like you haven't reached your peak.

Q = Quicky (Would they do it or nah. How and more)

Though quickies are meant to save time he doesn't like it because it still takes time to even do. So at that point have a full session with you instead. That is kind of him. He also sees quickies as something Dazai would do and would try not to do it.

R = Risk (Are they okay with something new, would they take a risk)

Not at all, this man avoids risks. There is something about risks he feels uneasy about. He likes your sex life with him and doesn't want to change it. Even if you want to take a risk he probably will stop you and make you think about it if it is reasonable or not. There is one risk though but that is for later.

S = Stamina (How long can they last? How many rounds?)

Three rounds max won't go over it. Three is his max only because he cuts himself off. He needs his time to be spent a bit more reasonable you are a reason but also can you handle it. Many factors contribute to his max of three rounds.

T = Toy (Do they use them, have them. Use them on themselves or partner?)

Won't shame you for using them at all. He might even buy some for you when you are next to him. he understands he won't always be there, something that will help you relieve yourself is not so bad.

U = Unfair (Do they tease and how much.)

I feel like some people refuse to do so while others aren't like that and will. Odasaku is always in the middle he just is so normal that it is amazing. He will be a bit of a tease like telling you that your beautiful moans should be heard by the neighbors or talking about your lingerie. So he will tease you but it won't be like degrading or anything.

V = Volume (How loud are they?)

There are grunts here and there but he won't be the most vocal-like Ranpo or Sigma or too quiet like Mori. He is going to let some grunts because of how well you take him or treat him. He won't be so silent because it isn't fair for him to tell you to let your moans out if he doesn't do it.

W = Wild Card (Something shocking or random about them)

Pretty into sexting. Sexting is something he strangely enjoys where you send pictures of yourself or even videos of you masturbating. He won't outwardly admit the fact he enjoys sexting but he won't tell you to stop sending it. The only risk he will take.

X = X-ray (What is down there?)

This man radiates big dick energy like some Bungou Stray Dog characters are average he is big dick energy for his kindness. (A shame he dies). His dick soft is 6'4 inches I know that is huge for soft and for erect he is 7'3 inches. His dick has veins going around it and they are out there his girth is 5' inches.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive)

Not that high he won't have a high sex drive because his focus towards work is a bit stronger than sex. He will fuck you when you want and he has time but if you aren't asking he won't really think about it.

Z = ZZZZ (How fast do they go to sleep afterward?)

Once you are asleep he will go back to clean up the mess while you lay there naked in bed. He is cleaning up the area putting all the clothes thrown around in a laundry basket and whatever lube is left out in the drawers. Once he is done cleaning he might go to sleep if not he'll head over to the bar and get a drink to think.

#bsd odasaku #odasaku my beloved #odasaku x reader #bungo stray dogs odasaku #fanfic #anime scenarios #x reader #anime #anime imagines #oneshot #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs smut #bsd smut #bsd headcanons #bsd x reader #bsd dazai #port mafia x reader #port mafia

[angry-geese]

Asking various jjk characters to kill a bug for you

Warnings: sfw. some swearing but it's pretty tame. minor violence, and mention of bugs. mostly crack. gn!reader

i feel like i should warn you about any grammar/spelling mistakes because I didn't spell check this

Characters: yuji, nanami, sukuna, choso, and gojo

Itadori Yuji

Will do it

Will be terrified the entire time but will do it

weirdly brave about it a first, and very anti-killing bugs

originally tries to capture it in a cup so he can release it outside

his plan does not go well

The roach stares at you from the wall adjacent to the toilet. Upon hearing your scream of terror, Yuji comes running into the bathroom. Out of the corner of your eye you watch as Yuji hurls his shoe at it. He misses. Your collective screams can be heard across the house as the cockroach flies towards you. Yuji grabs your shoulders, cowering behind you, effectively using you as a human shield. The two of you fight to get out of the bathroom the fastest, nearly climbing over each other.

"It fucking FLIES?!" He shrieks.

"Yes! They fly! HOW do you not know this?!"

"KILL IT!" He says.

"That's what I asked you to do!"

"I'm not touching that thing!"

The two of you cower in the hall before he eventually calls Megumi, who traps it in a container and releases it outside with no issue.

Sukuna

don't ask him

seriously he's the worst person to ask to do that

most of the time he'll grab the bug and chase you with it

might eat it just to gross you out

if you don't like killing bugs he'll squish it in front of you, or kill it in some cruel way

"Whats the matter, pet?" He'll ask, casting a glance down from his throne.

"There's a bug- can you-"

It takes everything in his power not to laugh. There's a lot of things more frightening in this world than an insect. Him, for example.

"Kill it?"

Your shoulders slump in defeat. "Yeah."

He does question why you didn't ask anyone else to do this.

He watches as your eyes widen as he picks the spider up by one leg. It's dwarfed by the size of his hand. It thrashes violently as he lifts it to get a better look, trying to bite him.

"Is this what scares you, pet?" He holds the spider out towards you, grinning when you shy away. He doesn't like things other than himself scaring his pet. He'll kill it for you, pulling you to his chest, enjoying the way your smaller form trembles against his.

Choso Kamo

is terrified but will do it because you asked

not normally scared of bugs, but seeing you freaked out makes him freak out

also doesn't like killing them. usually traps bugs in a cup and releases them outside

"There's a bug-"

"I'll get it."

He heads to the bathroom, armed with a cup and paper. As much as he doesn't like bugs, he hates killing them too. It makes him feel bad.

Choso practically leaps out of his skin as the cup slips out of his hand, crashing the floor. Luckily it's not broken, but the loud noise caught him—and you—off guard. Your shrill yelp causes him to let out one of his own.

He scrambles for the cup, quickly trapping the spider.

"It's not going to get you, love," he hopes you can't see how his hands tremble, "I've got it taken care of."

Nanami Kento

will do it

by far the best at it

not scared by bugs at all

they do gross him out a bit, though, but he'll tough it out for you

You've got his attention the moment he hears you scream.

He's on his feet, running to help you. His arms will wrap around you from behind, trying to soothe your shaking form.

At first he doesn't know what you're pointing at. Then it hits him. For being a sorcerer, he's not really sure why you're so bothered by bugs. He thinks you face worse things on a daily basis. But everyone has their fears.

"There's a spider," you hide your face in his chest, "holy shit its HUGE!"

He'll stay for a moment to comfort you. Until the spider lands on his arm. He looks from it to you, then back to it.

"Ken'," you say, your voice shaking, "don't move."

You roll up a magazine, approaching him slowly. Nanami looks at you and shakes his head as to keep you from doing what you have planned. The spider makes a sudden dash up his arm. He turns his head at the last second. You swing and miss, smacking him square in the jaw with the paper.

From there he traps it in a cup, releasing it outside.

"I've got it, dear," he'll say tiredly, a fresh welt appearing on his cheek, "see? It's gone."

Gojo Satoru

absloute disaster

ask him at your own risk

50/50 chance he'll actually kill it, or burn down half your house trying to do so

"'Toru theres a bug!" You'll call out. "Can you come get it?"

He'll puff his chest out, marching off to the bathroom where the roach sits waiting. He brings nothing to kill it with, thinking he can just use cursed energy to take care of it.

It doesn't work. Roaches are a bit more resilient than he expected.

"I've got it!" He'll shout, only to say "I don't got it!" a moment later.

There's the sound of something falling over. Moments later you watch Gojo scurrying out of the bathroom, eyes widened in horror. He's nearly tripping over his own feet trying to get away.

He collapses at your feet, muttering a: "holy shit that thing's big!"

Gojo cowers behind you as you head into the bathroom to survey the damage. For being the strongest, he sure is a wimp when it comes to bugs. You end up throwing a shoe at it. It doesn't kill the thing, which instead climbs into a crack in the wall. Good luck finding it now <3

#jjk headcanons #jjk x reader #itadori yuji x reader #nanami kento x reader #sukuna x reader #choso kamo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk fluff #jjk crack #itadori yuji #nanami kento #gojou satoru #ryomen sukuna #sukuna #choso kamo #choso #jujutsu kaisen #jjk

[ragingbookdragon]

I Saw It Coming When You Threw The First Punch

Batmom x Batfamily One-Shot

Word Count: 1.7K Warnings: Explicit Language, Mentions of Violence

Author's Note: I honestly feel like I get my irritation from people out by writing stories where the characters punch people. I live vicariously through my characters. Enjoy! -Thorne

Getting the call that his wife had been taken into GCPD custody was not one that Bruce had ever expected to receive. Not in a million years. And yet, low and behold, Gordon had called sounding apologetic that she’d been detained after a physical altercation at the gala she’d hosted earlier that evening.

Which was absolutely baffling to him, because the only person more anal retentive about screwing up at a gala than Alfred, was his wife. So, something must’ve seriously set her off if she’d hauled off on somebody. And Gordon had made it quite clear that it was his wife that threw the first punch, though beyond that, he didn’t know what else had occurred because she’d invoked her rights to the company lawyer and to remain silent, simply staring at the wall while the other officers tried to get a story out of her—Bruce knew she wouldn’t crack. Other than him, his wife had a reserve that no man, alien, or god could break. He’d never say it, but he was envious of his wife’s willpower.

He arrived rather quickly with all four sons in tow, knowing that the sight of the entire family would probably help her chances of getting out and they waited patiently to be escorted to where she was being held.

When they arrived at the interrogation room, they saw her sitting there with crossed legs, hands placed palm down on the table. Her eyes were closed in what Bruce recognized as her deep meditative state; the one she used to fight off telepathic control from enemies—she was probably recounting what happened that night.

“What are the charges?” he asked Gordon and the older man sighed.

“Simple battery and public disturbance.”

Bruce hummed lowly in his throat and gazed at his wife. “How do you see this playing out for her?”

“If the woman she keelhauled doesn’t press charges, there’s possibility of probation with community service.”

He had to play naïve. “And if she does?”

Gordon met his gaze. “Then you’re looking at your wife going into lockup for a year.”

Bruce let out a sigh. “I’ll call our lawyer then.”

“I’ll give you and your wife some privacy,” he replied, hitting a button on the keypad beside the door, and the glass went dark while the glowing red button recording the room turned off.

“Thank you, Gordon,” he said, and the detective waved as he walked off, closing the door to the interrogation room behind him. Bruce looked at his sons. “Let’s go see what set your mom off tonight.”

***

The door to the room opened but she didn’t open her eyes, still under the cold water in her retreat.

“(Y/N),” someone murmured and though the voice was familiar, she didn’t come to yet.

“(Y/N),” they repeated a bit firmer. “Come back up.”

Ever so slowly, she allowed her mind to come back from the deep waters and she opened her eyes, smiling at her husband and sons.

“Good evening family.” Damian immediately sprinted to her and buried his face in her neck, and she laughed, running a hand through his short dark hair. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“You are in trouble,” he murmured and pulled away to look into her eyes. “We will do whatever you need, Umi.”

(Y/N) snorted. “Don’t worry about me baby. Knowing Little Miss Martha May, she’s not going to press charges over our spat.”

“I think simple battery is bit more than a spat, mom,” Dick worried, brows furrowing in concern. “What did you two even start fighting about?”

Her eyes darted to the glass then to Bruce and he said, “Gordon turned off the cameras.”

“Mom,” Tim started, and she looked at him; he held up his phone screen. “I just assured that you’re protected here.”

She nodded and let out a sigh. “I knew I should’ve just walked away but I couldn’t help it. She just set me off like a match to gunpowder.”

“What’d you guys even duke it out over,” Jason questioned, and she sighed again, recounting the night.

***

“You’ve thrown another wonderful party, Miss Wayne,” Lucius murmured, handing her a champagne glass.

She grinned widely, thanking him. “Thank you, Lucius, I try.”

“Clan couldn’t come tonight?”

“You’ve always been perceptive about us, haven’t you?”

“To use your words, I try,” he laughed, and she nodded.

“Patrol started early tonight,” she said inconspicuously, eyes shifting around to glance at who was walking near them. “Besides, most of them only come to these to appease the crowd.”

“Ah, yes, I forgot that you’re the only one who actually enjoys these.”

“Only when Bruce and the kids are here,” she corrected. “It’s easier to bullshit when they’re here to pick up the slack.”

He barked a laugh and she chuckled in return when someone walked up to them. She turned and immediately grimaced at the old classmate of hers.

“(Y/N), such a beautiful party you’ve thrown tonight,” the woman greeted, though it was laced with cheerful fakeness.

She plastered a smile on her face. “Good evening, Marianne. I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”

“Oh, you know me, I’m always up for a party.” Her eyes drifted around. “Where is your husband? I wanted to thank him for the gift basket he sent after my operation.” Marianne gave her a sarcastic smile. “Isn’t it rather off for a host to avoid his own party?”

Note to self, yell at Bruce for sending her a gift.

“He had to work late tonight. So did the boys.” (Y/N) matched her smile. “I’m sure they’d be delighted to know that you thought of them though.”

Something shifted in Marianne’s eyes. “Oh yes, the children you have.” She leaned in close and murmured, “You know I’ve been hearing some rather negative rumors about yours and Bruce’s decision to adopt orphans rather than have some of your own.”

(Y/N) blinked, not sure if she should be shocked or unimpressed. “Really? Care to enlighten me?”

Marianne waved a hand. “The major one is that you simply took pity on the strays because you were barren.” She felt like she’d been slapped across the face and her jaw dropped as she gaped at the woman.

Apparently, that was all the ammunition that Marianne needed because she offered a sympathetic smile an placed a hand on (Y/N)’s arm. “Oh, you poor dear.” She patted her arm again. “You should’ve come to me instead of adopting orphans. I would’ve been happy to be a surrogate for you.”

(Y/N) shrugged the hand off her arm and reached up, pulling the silver teardrop earrings from her ears. “Yeah, those orphans aren’t mine, not biologically.”

She pulled off her diamond wedding rings and handed them and the earrings over to Lucius who took them and stepped back.

“But you know what they are?” she glowered at Marianne and seethed, “They’re my sons.”

The next thing anyone knew, the two women were rolling on the floor, their hostess throwing punches that seemed to make everyone wince when they connected to the woman’s face.

***

“And all I remember was being escorted down here,” she finalized, eyes drifting to Bruce’s.

He simply stared at her for a moment before he let out a heavy sigh and put his face in his hands. “I’m proud that you defended our family, but at the same time, I’m disappointed that you let Marianne set you off.”

(Y/N) crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh, so you’re taking her side?”

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” Bruce shot back. “If she decides to press charges, you’re going to be in lockup for a year.”

“She’s not.”

“You don’t know that, (Y/N).”

“No, I do,” she blinked and leaned forward. “If Marianne doesn’t want me to ruin her image with shit she did when she was a teenager, she’ll keep her mouth shut and take the blame for this.”

“What’d she do, Ma?” Jason questioned curiously and she turned her attention to him.

“Enough that’ll disgrace her image amongst every elite this side of the globe if she tries me anymore.”

Before anyone could say anything, the door opened and they turned, seeing Gordon walking in. “Good evening, Miss Wayne,” he greeted, and she smiled.

“Good evening, Jim. How’s your night so far?”

He chuckled. “Not too bad. I got to detain my favorite socialite and listen to all my officers speculate what she did.”

(Y/N) lifted her hands palm up beside her shoulders. “I live to please, Jim, you know that.”

“I do.” He walked over and handed her a few papers. “When asked if she wanted to press charges, Marianne Walters declined. She instead gave a rather detailed statement that she instigated the fight and threw the first punch.” He stared at the busted lip she had. “Does that match what happened?”

She quickly looked over the papers and nodded. “Yes, that’s true.”

Gordon sighed. “Do you wish to press charges?”

(Y/N) shook her head. “No,” she smiled. “There’s no reason to make a fuss about this.”

“…Miss Wayne, you and Miss Walters are all over the news.”

She shrugged. “And people have very short memories. They’ll forget about this.” She handed back the papers. “Send this to my lawyer and she’ll handle it with the prosecutors.”

“You think they won’t press charges despite Walters?” Gordon asked and she nodded.

“Oh, they won’t,” she said then looked at the clock. “Am I free to leave? It’s been a long night.”

Gordon let out a heavy sigh and nodded. “Yes Miss Wayne, you’re free to leave now.”

(Y/N) rose. “Wonderful.” She looked at her sons. “Boys, let’s go.”

They followed her and Bruce stood from the table, standing beside Gordon. “Thank you, Jim.”

Gordon grunted. “I know (Y/N) threw the first punch.”

“You do?”

“Of course, I do.” He huffed. “And I don’t blame her either.” He watched (Y/N) laugh at something Dick said while the others groaned around him. “You’ve got a good woman, Bruce. Good wife. Even better mother.”

Bruce looked at his wife and let an easy smile cross his lips as she pulled them all into hugs. “Yeah…yeah, I do, don’t I.”

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