#i feel like a broken record always ONLY being able to say “thanks” to everyone who leaves a kind message | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bonny-kookoo · 2 years

Text

Welcome to the Show: The Master 🔞

Hoseok had been quiet about his desires for a while now, and no one else was willing to spill what he was into- not even himself. Until he talks to his bandmates, finally opening up to you what he really craves..

Tags/Warnings: mentions and discussion of sex work, angst, smut, protected sex,(hard) Dom!Hoseok, Sub!Reader, Orgasm control, discussions of safeword and boundaries because yes, Power exchange, sir title use, drooling, denied orgasm, forced orgasm, overstimulation, jungkook boner part 2

Pairing: eventual ot7 x Reader, Hoseok x Reader focus

Wordcount: a lot, please send help I had to rewrite this 5 fucking times. I'm crying. This app is fucking garbage. Not proofread. Please go easy on me this chapter almost cost me my sanity (or whatever is left of it I guess)

Taglist: broken, can't tag anybody sorry.

Masterlist

♥━━━━━━━━━━━♡━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

Hoseok is a great dancer.

And you're happy he's slowly becoming more and more at ease with you; seemingly completely okay with you sitting in the corner of the practice room as Jungkook had asked if you wanted to come watch. Of course you'd taken the invitation- you'd be stupid not to.

While they're both definitely different in style, they both clearly know what they're doing- choreography and steps perfectly aimed, bodies both moving to the beat in ways you can only dream of being able to. It makes you wonder what lies beneath both of them; both hoseok and jungkook alike very secretive and hesitant about their desires when it came to you. Jungkook had the habit of becoming almost flustered whenever the topic came up-

But hoseok never even let you get there in the first place.

"That was great!" Hoseok chimes, happy with everything as he turns towards you. "What do you think?" He wonders, and jungkooks eyes and skin sparkle from the still drumming excitement in his veins, and the sweat resulting from it.

"I'm hardly one to judge-" you say, clapping however to keep the mood light. "-I'm glad if I don't accidentally tumble down the stairs by accident." You joke, and jungkook laughs boyishly at that, before Hoseok walks up to you, taking the water bottle at your side with a thanks and a smile.

"I think you're too harsh on yourself." He tells you, unscrewing the bottle. "Everyone can learn how to dance." He says, before taking a few sips.

"Not everyone, hobi." You laugh. "Thats like saying everyone can get a license when we know for a fact Namjoon should stay far away from a steering wheel." You tell him, and he laughs, shrugging.

"Good point." He chuckles, before he stretches. "I'll go catch some food with yoongi. You guys tagging along?" He asks, and Jungkook chimes up from the side.

"I wanted to go over some stuff though.." he pouts a little, and you smile hoseok's way.

"I'll stay with him then. Go and eat well." You tell the older Idol, patting Hoseoks leg as that's the only thing you can reach from your spot- making the rapper smile, before he winks.

It's odd- interactions with him always feel like he's not saying what he wants to say. Like he's not doing what he wants to do.

But for now, you watch jungkook dance, and record some stuff, making sure you're never in the picture to avoid major drama. He's exhausted after a while, and you've moved to lay flat on the ground, watching as he walks up to you. "Come on, let's go before they lock us in here like they almost did hobi." He chuckles, kicking your thigh with no force- but you don't move. "Yah, come on now-!" He whines, and your foot kicks him back suddenly.

"Make me." You challenge, sticking your your tongue at him as you cross your arms.

You're not aware of the kind of game you're playing with him.

His eyes become serious, as he evaluates to just throw you over his shoulder. But as soon as he moves, you're instantly laughing, trying to crawl away, as his hand wraps around your calf- pulling you back towards him, arm underneath your middle pressing your body back against his front. "You're playing with fire." He grits out almost aggressively- his hold tight, but its strangely exciting to you. You know him by now- he's not a bad person, you still feel safe even in a situation like this. So you challenge him again, pushing against his arm- but its not budging, your squirming only seeming to work in completely different ways on him, as you feel something poke your behind, a low groan coming from him. His mouth is directly next to your ear as he speaks. "Stop it."

"Why won't you do anything?" You ask, genuinely curious.

"Because I can't." He simply says, suddenly detaching himself from you as if he's the one burned now, taking his water bottle to go to the main door of the practice room. "Out. Now. Or I'll lock you in." He warns, and you oblige this time, not wanting to fuel his anger further.

Though you're not sure if his very evident boner in his pants can count as anger.

♥━━━━━━━━━━━♡━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

"I can tell you; she's quite something." Yoongi mumbles as he eats, Hoseok across from him now listening intently as the rapper in front of him starts to talk. Usually, at least in the past, Yoongi hadn't talked about his experiences with any of the girls at all- kept it private, so much so that for a long time, everyone had thought that he just didn't call them up at all. "I can understand why both Namjoon and Seokjin are kind of swooned by her."

"That good?" Hoseok scoffs jokingly, as he wipes his hands on a napkin to open his bottle of soda.

"Not just the sex." His bandmate says. "Everything about her."

"I'm, honestly.. I don't know. Are they both really fine with all this?" Hoseok wonders, genuinely a little worried that this all could lead into a huge mess if feelings got involved. And as far as he can tell- they definitely are starting to play a role, if the fond words of his friend across were anything to go by.

"I tested it out, not gonna lie." Yoongi says. "Went to Joon's studio after I've been with her. Told him what went down, even hinted at you know what." He explains, hinting at his own growing fondness of you. Then, he just shrugs.

"And he just? Nothing?" Hoseok asks, as he contonues eating.

"Not really, no." He responds, shrugging yet again. "Simply said he's gonna spend the night at her's with Jin."

"You think they fought?" Hobi worries, biting into his food.

"I think they had a killer threesome, if anything." He casually responds, making Hoseok almost choke at the bluntness of the statement. "Why do you seem so shocked?"

"I just.." He mumbles to himself. "She doesn't seem like it." Yoongi knows he's not just referring to what he said. He's aware of what had happened in the past- Hoseok having been openly shamed by one of the past girls for his way of enjoying intimacy. It had taken some time for him to become more confident again- the whole ordeal having left scars however, it seems.

"She's not her." Yoongi tells him with honesty. "Trust me. Talk to her- she knows herself and her boundaries best. Hell, she even said she's interested in that whole stuff." He chuckles in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"All they know are badly written romance novels and those god awful movies Jimin forced us to watch that one time." He complains. "That's hardly a good depiction of what it is."

"Oh we talked about that movie.!" Yoongi laughs, remembering the moment clearly. "It'll be fine, Hoseok. Believe me." He however says more seriously, making his bandmate sigh.

Maybe he could give it a shot.

♥━━━━━━━━━━━♡━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

"..oof." You huff, as you struggle with the grocery bags in the hallway to your apartment. It's just a little further to the elevator- but your arms are killing you, your hands already an angry red from the straps of the bag digging into your palms.

"Let me help." Jimins voice calmly states, as he takes the bags from you with ease, walking towards the elevator with you in tow.

"Thanks a lot. They're pretty heavy for me." You chuckle, rubbing the sore spot on your shoulder.

"Next time, text someone." He advises. "I'm sure Joon or Jin will gladly help. Yoongi too." He teases, and you groan dramatically as you throw your head back. "Come on, you can't expect no one to tease you about it. Must be really good if it makes them catch feelings." He jokes, and you look at him challenging.

"Well, you wouldn't know, would you?" You say. "Maybe my vagina swoons you next." You say, wiggling your eyebrows at him, and he laughs brightly, sound echoing off the walls of the elevator.

"Maybe." He says, smiling impishly. "Has Hoseok talked to you yet?" He changes the topic, getting out the elevator with you as it signals it's stop- doors opening smoothly.

"No, why?" You wonder, walking next to him towards your apartment door. He shrugs.

"Just asking. He said he was considering." He simply explains. "I'm considering, too." He admits, and you simply take it as what it is, typing in the pin to your apartment with familiar motions by now- door opening with a chime. "Maybe I'll visit you afterwards." He shrugs, placing the bags in your kitchen, as you look after him.

"Or you could stay and help me cook." You ask- and it takes a moment for Jimin as it seems like he's thinking.

"You know what?" He says, shrugging off his shoes as he smiles. "That's a great idea." He decides, and walks up to you into your kitchen where you start to put away what you won't need. "Do you cook often?"

"No, not until Jin pulled me into it." You say. "Its kind of a bonding thing almost, as weird as that sounds." You giggle, as Jimin leans against the counter.

"You're very close." He observes. "Heard something about him and Joon, you know."

"Them having sex with me? Or them growing a crush?"You joke, as you put the milk away.

"I mean- both, technically." He chuckles. "Isn't it weird for you?" He wonders, as you shrug.

"A little." You tell him. "I'm not too sure what to do, if I'm honest. I don't want to be the reason you all fight at some point."

Jimin shakes his head, moving to take over cutting some of the vegetables as he realizes what you're going to cook. "I don't think that's gonna happen." He says calmly. "Sure, this is all new, but.." he says, unfazed by it all, it seems. "..we usually figure things out. We wouldn't have made it for so long if we couldn't."

And you smile at that, feeling a little better about it all.

♥━━━━━━━━━━━♡━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

It's the first time you're called to someone, instead of someone coming to you.

As you sit in hoseoks little home inside the complex, you can't help but be a little tense, though you're trying hard not to let it show. He chuckles as he places down a glass of water in front of you, before he sits down next to you. "I'm not gonna do anything today, just so you know." He says, and you look at him a little confused.

"But.. you wrote-" you start, and he nods.

"I did." He tells you. "But.. what I'd like to do requires you to feel comfortable. And right now, you're anything but that, love." He chuckles, making you blush a bit in embarrassment.

"Sorry." You mumble to yourself, but he shakes his head.

"Dont be." He says. "Yoongi said he'd mentioned something about me?"

"That you're into the bdsm-scene?" You ask, and he nods. "Yeah, he mentioned that, but not much else." You shrug, sitting more relaxed now that the pressure loosens on your shoulders. "So you're like.. a dom or something? I'm not sure what the other girls did but I'm like.. not too cool with painful stuff or something like that-"you laugh, and he smiles, though it seems forced.

"I've.. tried before, but the past girls weren't too happy about any of the things I suggested or wanted." He admits. "So, that's why I've been a bit.. hesitant to reach out to you."

"I uh-" you start, turning a bit more towards him. "I'm not going to judge you or like, think you're a bad person or anything." You tell him. "I mean, I know about spanking, choking and all that stuff-" you giggle.

"What about orgasm control?" He asks, leaning back a little as his eyes turn a bit darker. "Spanking is the tamest thing I'd want to do to you." He explains, and you can't help but be affected by it a little.

"What.. would you like to do then?" You ask, and he clearly notices your interest with a small grin.

"It depends on how good you can be for me." He mumbles, his deep voice making you a bit restless. "Oh? Into dirty talk, are we?" He smirks, clearly relaxing now as he has his fun with you. "Makes me wonder.. how was your time with Joon and Jin, hm?" He asks, and you instantly turn red at the memory of.. well, that night.

How you had let yourself be swept away by them, how you'd done things you would've never done before.

"You like to please, don't you?" He asks, hand reaching out as he tests the waters; fingers holding your chin, before his thumb runs over your bottom lip. Looking at you like that, his mind instantly paints a picture of you on your knees between his legs, his length tucked away between your lips, as deep as he can go. Would you gag? Would you surprise him and take it?

How far would you let him go?

"I don't want to just be on top, or call the shots." He explains finally.

"I'll be your slave then." You mumble before you can stop yourself, and he freezes for a moment, before he moves to push himself over you on his couch, hands grabbing your wrists as he holds them above your head.

"Do you have any idea what you're saying?" He asks amused, leaning back a little before he continues talking. "Don't get me wrong, I love how you say that- but lets do this properly, okay?" He requests, making you nod as you sit a bit straighter, trying not to feel embarrassed. "I'll send you some stuff today after we ate something. Please take all the time you need to answer my questions truthfully- I'd rather have you want something genuinely than have you agree to something in the heat of the moment just for you to regret it later." He explains to you, and you nod after a moment. He's a lot more level-headed than you are it seems, and you're thankful for that.

"Alright!" He claps to ease the mood a little, big grin on his face. "Now lets order some food!"

♥━━━━━━━━━━━♡━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

His questions were both more and less than you've expected. Thinking about it now, you don't even know what you've expected in the first place.

Some things were exciting to imagine. Some other things made you uncomfortable- and you were quick to let him know whenever that was the case. He'd always just reassure you straight after, and it did help a lot with your nerves. He'd also sometimes not text for a few hours- and you assumed it was to give you some time to not think about it all, so you wouldn't get so hyper-focused on it.

He's a good man, you think.

So when you're finally at his place again, dressed in a comfortable long sweater and shorts, it's not at all as nerve-wrecking as its been before. No, you know what to expect, and at the same time you don't- its odd. You just know you can trust him, that he won't do anything outside of your discussed boundaries, and at the same time, there's an underlying curiousity about what he might do with you.

He's calm as you both simply settle for a moment, drinking something warm, before he deems the moment right to start. "Can you stand in front of the bed for me?" He asks, and you nod- easily walking into his bedroom, facing the bed while you patiently wait for him. You can hear something move and clink around in the kitchen- probably him cleaning up, before he walks into the room with you, door closing with a soft click. He doesn't say anything for a good moment- simply walking around a bit behind you, before his hands move to gently lay themselves onto your bare upper arms, thumbs running over your skin. "Thank you for facing the bed." He says.

"why thank you?" You wonder, making him chuckle a bit as his hands wander- simply mapping out your body it seems, very tame movements never straying somewhere considered indecent for now.

"Because it shows that you trust me enough to turn your back towards me." He simply answers. "That means a lot to a man like me." He explains. "To someone in my position, so to say." You simply nod at that, enjoying his attention on you for the moment. "Are you always this eager to please?" He wonders, and you shrug- earning a reaction from him that shows off his displeasure at your non-vocal answer to him, something he'd told you he doesn't like. "What was that?" He asks, hands holding onto your arms a bit tighter as his voice sounds more serious now.

"I'm sorry." You apologize. "I'm.. not sure? I like to think of myself as someone who likes to help. I don't really do it to get praise or anything like that." You answer, trying to explain your own spot in that whole discussion.

"Hm." He simply hums out, moving a bit closer now as he hugs you from behind- slowly moving more and more into your personal space, taking up more and more of you. "But that doesn't mean you don't enjoy it?" He teases a bit.

"It.. I guess it doesn't happen too much, so I can't really say I do or I don't." You answer, making him lean his chin on your shoulder.

"A shame, really." He muses, hands now moving over your body- taking the fabric of your sweater with them, slowly moving underneath. "You should be praised and complimented." He tells you, and you simply nod, making him chuckle. "You're adorable." He says, making you smile even wider. It's odd- how comfortable you feel with him, so much so that you can't imagine anyone ever thinking badly of him. Sure, he definitely sees the whole act of sex a little differently- but it's not a bad take at all.

His hands slowly remove your sweater, and you voluntarily lift your arms to help with the effort. You can't see it, but his eyes are focused; not only on the skin uncovered, but you, as a person. As someone with his personal interests, he trives off of trust; he feeds off of not only the powerplay, but the way someone relies on him, lets themselves fall into his hands.

And you're falling freely right now.

"Place your hands behind your back for me." He requests calmly, and you do so instantly without hesitation. You're not too sure what he's doing since you can't see him- and neither do you think you should turn around now, but when you feel silky material wrap around your wrists, you know what he's doing. And while you should feel worried- you don't. Its Hoseok- he knows what he's doing.

You trust him.

"Do you remember your safe word?" He asks you, pushing your elbows together a little to make you arch your back. You breath out, eyes closed, as you rest your head against the front of his body.

"Red." You say.

"Good girl." He praises, amused to see the smile tugging on the corner of your lips. He likes that you're so responsive to simple words from him- but at the same time, he feels as if things like this shouldn't affect you this much. You should be used to be treated fondly like this, it shouldn't be something so unusual. "Take that off for me." He demands, after his fingers let go of the hem of your cotton shorts and panties. "Both of it." He makes it clear.

Its quite amusing to watch you struggle a little.

You stumble a little, tripping over your own two feet, and he's quick to hold onto one of your forearms to steady you again- though its not without a chuckle from his side. You finish your task however after this, kicking them off to the sides as you stand up straight again. "you know.." he mumbles, hands now back on your body as he simply let's his fingers travel down the length of your forearms, before they rest on your hips. "you're really pretty." he praises, and you look down. "no- really. You'll see what I mean soon enough." he promises, a kiss against your neck as you close your eyes.

"Hobi.." you whine, unsure what you're asking for- and he simply walks around you, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"I'm all yours." he teases, well aware that you're currently thinking hard how to do what you want with your hands still bound behind your back. It's frustrating, but also exciting- you want to impress him, please him, make him praise you more. "hm, I'll go easy on you this time, because it's our first time together. Tell me what you want." he asks of you, and you lick your lips, before you slowly maneuver yourself onto your knees in front of him, your head resting on his knee.

It's in the moment of you, in between his legs mouth opened and tongue out waiting obediently, that he understands.

It's not just the willingness of you, but the fact that you let yourself be handled thia way, your trust placed into his opened hands, no judgement or ulterior motive behind your actions. There's been a debate between the guys going on for years now- everyone having slightly different opinions on what's intimacy, and what's just sex. For Hoseok, this is intimacy; it's the way you give yourself to him, genuine trust, genuine interest in him as a person, not just the paycheck you receive at the end of the month.

His hand is gentle on the back of your neck, guiding, but never forcing. You look oddly beautiful like this, obscenely so, as you look up at him with your eyes, he can't help but smile, head falling back in bliss at the feel of your tongue and mouth around his length. It fuels your confidence in your actions, though you do occasionally forget that your hands are bound behind your back, useless in aiding you in any way.

But he's sure you don't need them anyway.

He becomes a bit more vocal the closer he gets- hand now on the back of your head, grabbing your hair but never too painfully so. Only when he cums does he actively hold you in place, groaning when you swallow around him, never complaining and never trying to pull away- only after a moment, when you whine a bit to gain his attention. "Fuck." he chuckles out, wiping your bottom lip before he turns you around, untying your hands. "your hands are mine, understood?" he asks, and you nod.

"yes sir." you reply like second nature, and he smiles at that, before laying on his back on the bed.

"come here." he demands, helping you to situate yourself above his face, before he grabs your wrists, holding you hostage yet again. You don't mind however- if anything, you felt oddly abandoned without anything to hold you in place. "good girl." he praises, before he starts to eat you out, tongue eagerly lapping at your core and clit, making you jump a bit occasionally. "don't you jump away from me." he warns, before diving back in, resulting in you starting to sigh out in pleasure.

He's got a secure hold on you, leaving you no way of escape- not like you'd ever want to anyway. With the way he's being with you, you can't help but feel a little daring however. How far will he let you go? How much will he let you get away with? How strict is he really?

He'd warned you beforehand, and you know any punishment you might receive is something you'd agreed to.

Sou you start to grind on his face once, twice, ignoring the way his hold tightens-

Until he's gone, standing up from the bed before his hand pushes you into the pillows below. you don't stay there long- his hand holding onto your hair, forcing you to lift your head. You can't help but let a sound slip at the faint sting and obvious display of dominance you're experiencing.

"are you testing me, darling?" he wonders, voice no longer warm and gentle. It's icy, cold and let's goosebumps form on your skin. You almost forget to answer him, but a tug on your hair reminds you of his rules.

"n-no sir." you say, and he clicks his tongue before he let's your head fall down.

"ass up darling, I'm done playing nice." he demands, leaving no room for arguments as you clumsily move your knees to rest on the mattress, your behind high in the air while your from stays on the bed.

"I got this one from Jiminie. He said it's one of his more.. Boring one's.." he says, walking back to the bed eith his one in one hand, and an object in the other you can't see from your point of view. "but it'll do just fine for this specific occasion." he hums, before he runs the object through your slick folds, covering it in your juices before he slips it inside.

Something rests on your clit while the other part sits heavily inside you-

And then it starts buzzing, making you buck your hips a little. Hoseok simply chuckles at that, sitting down on a chair on the side, phone still in hand while he watches you. You're glad he let's you get away with the way your hips move, because you're sure you'd never be able to stay in position for this long in a situation like this.

It's all fun and games, a good amount of pleasure as your orgasm runs through you, and you're not sure why he's said it's a punishment- until the buzzing intensifies, vibrations more rough and less warm inside you.

It's like a shock of cold water, making you yelp as your hips move erratically, unable to decide if it's pleasure or too much to take. Hoseok however laughs at your very obscene moans, mouth wide open while your toes curl. The man in the corner is lazily stroking himself at the sight of you struggling, enjoying the view of your arousal dripping down, running down your thigh, thighs trembling.

You're truly beautiful.

He also spots the moment overstimulation turns into a chase for the next high, spine arching and hips rutting into nothingness to reach your new high. And then- it's all gone.

"no- n-no no please-" you beg, anxiously whimpering as you still move, tears stinging in your eyes at your ruined orgasm.

"this is what you get for trying to play dirty with me." he chuckles darkly from the side, his own hand still casually pleasuring himself as if to mock you. "every bit of pleasure. Every drop of sweat on your skin." he says darkly. "and every orgasm, is mine. Understood?" he asks, and you nod desperately.

"yes sir, it's yours, all yours-" you say, choking on your tears a bit. "please-"

"see?" he smiles devilishly in the corner, finger moving to hover over the touchscreen of his phone. "good manners get you far, darling." he sings, as he taps the screen, and the toy buzzes again, your sensitive core reacting accordingly.

Your mouth is wide open, your eyes roll back, you don't care anymore how you look or what you sound like as you even drool a little into the pillows below.

This high is higher than anything you've ever felt before.

It sets something off inside you, release staining the bed below and the insides of your thighs as the toy slips out, tumbling down the bed and onto the floor- hoseok's hand replacing it as he helps you ride it all out more gently than before.

Only then does he help you lay on your side, body exhausted, mind a mess. He sits down close to you, let's you cling onto his sitting form, arms finally freed by him and free to hold onto him, your head in his lap. "good job darling, you're so beautiful you know that?" he praises, and you simply wrap yourself around him closer, his palm running over the length of your back, up and down. "take all the time you need sweetheart. You've done so good." he hums gently, a complete contrast to his rather dark tone he'd used before.

When you wake up, it's dark outside, and you feel oddly clean- though your muscles ache a little.

He's asleep next to you, sleeping soundly while you think about it all. Eas this what he'd craved, needed, wanted? Or did he hold back for your sake, just to make sure you don't resent him like others have in the past?

You'd never.

He's a good man, with a lot of pressure on his shoulder, and good ambitions. He deserves to let go like this, deserves to be in control if it's what helps him relax. You don't mind it all-

For now crawling closer to him, his arms almost instinctively wrapping around you in his sleep.

♥━━━━━━━━━━━♡━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

"Hobi-hyung really did a number on you, didn't he?" Jimin teases lowly behind you in the elevator, while Taehyung chuckles with his distinctive way. "oh he did!" Jimin exclaims as you blush, ears turning red at the memory. "no wonder he was so easy on us today at practice!" he laughs, while Taehyung reaches out to play with your hair a little, making you shiver.

"should've heard her." he mumbles, shirking at you. "she's got a real pretty voice." he praises, and jimin whines.

"unfair, you could've sent me a voice note of it or something." he complaints playfully, before the elevator doors open, Taehyung walking out without looking back. Jimin however turns, smirking devilishly at you while he waves. "can't wait to play with you soon." he sings almost, winking before the metal doors close, elevator moving to bring you home.

And you're left to think;

What does he have in store for you?

♥━━━━━━━━━━━♡━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #bts smut #jimin imagine #min yoongi imagine #taehyung imagine #hoseok fanfic #hoseok smut #hoseok imagine #seokjin imagine #namjoon imagine #jhope imagines #jhope x reader #jhope smut #welcome to the show au

584 notes · View notes

velvette3 · 28 days

Note

hey whateva ya do, we'll support you <3

it's okay to have trouble like this when tryin ta reach such a big goal!

i think i've nearing a 1 year and 3 or 4 months, and i still feel like doin it sometimes. hell i think ta only reason i haven't broken my record is i don' have anythin i feel comfy usin and my pain tolerance is too low ta just use my nails (that really fuckin hurt neva again god) plus also now i got dysphoria over my blood not bein gold?

i'm ramblin-

point is that it's perfectly okay, it's not some moral failing or some shit if ya do decide to sh. none of us are gonna think any less of ya or anything like that, especially since it seems a lot of us are havin the same or a similar struggle.

Have a tiny cat for your troubles of messaging me dear~

But thank you. I’m mainly just worried about what’ll happen if I do relapse. I was threatened to be sent to a mental institution back in middle school by my parents if they ever caught me doin it again. I’m scared what they’ll do if the found out I relapsed since then, and if I did so now. I’m also scared of what might become of myself. If I relapse I fear I��ll just spiral even further into the self loathing for not being able to reach my goal.

But once again thank you. And I’m so proud of you for lastin as long as ya have.

But one thing I’ll say for you, myself, and everyone else: talk to people. Always, if any of us feel like doing the sh, talk to someone. Whether it’s not even about the sh, talk about something to at least keep ya mind off it. Acknowledge that it’s there, but don’t let it win. Say ‘I’m not going to let you control my actions’ and think about something else, basically telling those thoughts to fuck themselves.

#thank you guys.#just make sure my bf doesn’t see this shit #I don’t need him being sad or anything

6 notes · View notes

fallingforel · 10 months

Note

Hi! Could you write for Brad with prompt 19? Like the reader is part of the vamos and brad is up writing a sad song about his feelings towards the reader because he’s scared to mess it up. I really like your writing, it’s so good!!

a/n Hi lovely I would be delighted to write this also thank you for saying you like my writing it actually brightens my day up just a tinsy bit so thank you anywhoo on with the showww

PROMPT 19:“I’m worried about you.”

words:1,417

"Have you noticed the change in Brads behaviour?" I ask Tristan from where he's sat next to me.

I'm in a band called the vamps, it's all fairly new for us we're currently on the way to record our second album . I sing alongside Brad and everyone says our chemistry on stage is unbelievable and everyone says they're surprised we're not together yet to which I reply we're just best friends which we are, but I secretly wish we were more no one knows that though.

I mean for one we don't act like we're bestfriends, we always favour to sleep in the same bed, we've shared a few kisses but apart from that we're best-friends. But recently he's been pushing back I've ended up on my own in my own bed. Brad's not speaking to me as much only matters about the band, It feels like he doesn't want me there and it pains me because if two of us aren't getting along then it could cause me to leave the band and I really don't want to do that.

"Hmmm" Tristan says from beside me, clearly focusing on whatever was on T.V. more than what I was saying. "forget it I'll talk to him myself about it" I say getting up and wandering about the big mansion we were given by management for our 2nd album, to record whenever we get a new idea, mainly for Brad and I as we were the ones singing and writing but occasionally one of the others would write so it was all of us here. It was a big thing located in the heart of the L.A. suburbs and Brad and I both got our licenses so we could be able to do road trips while we were out here.

I pass all rooms on the ground floor, and there was nothing so I make my way up to the first floor and there is nothing in some of the rooms but I hear muffled noises coming from the in home studio. so I go to the end of the corridor and stand outside the room to hear whats going on

When you were mine, did I push you far away? Blame this whole weight on my shoulders Baring down on me But then I only had to see you Don't you know how good that feels? These are all the words I should've said

Did I miss my chance? Is it too late to say?

Now I'm half a world away from you But you're always on my mind There's a million words that I could've said And you might still be mine And if there's someone where I used to be I hope he tells you everyday The million words that I should've said I wish I could tell you always

It's brad singing his heart out but he sounds broken hearted, it sounds too close to the truth of how I'm feeling and it scares me. I hear rattling about in the studio so I walk away to find James. I needed some good advice and James was always the best for this,

He ended up being out on the balcony with kirstie, which surprised me I wasn't expecting her, she was my bestfriend after Brad

"KIRSTIE!, you didn't tell me you we're coming out here" "she didn't tell me either" "oh Hi James."

"Rude, didn't even acknowledge I was here. Anyway, hey y/n, whats up?" James asks making my face drop realising why I came out to the balcony in the first place "errr I came to find some advice from you" "Oh do you want me to go?" Kirstie asks "No no, I could actually do with both of your advice to be honest" I say as I'm taking a seat on the empty chair that's not occupied by one of the couple.

"So what did you need advice on?" Kirstie asks. "relationship." "Have you got in a relationship? got yourself a little boyfriend?" James asks "errr, no not quite. Do you know what I'm gonna explain the whole thing and then you can give me your advice both of you" I say flicking my eyes between where the two of them are sat.

"So as both of you know, Brad and I are best friends." I say which they both nod at. "Well, we've been sleeping in each others beds, been sharing a few drunk kisses, which I'm not sure he even remembers. So I caught feelings naturally, though I think they were already there anyway regardless what we've been up to. And then like two days ago he stopped sneaking into my bed, stopped kissing me when we were drunk, stopped talking to me about anything and everything and only specifically about band stuff. And I'm worried, so worried that it could cause one of us to leave the band and that would mess up the whole dynamic. So I went to go talk to him a minute ago and he was singing a song but it sounded dangerously close to our situation and you know Brad barely likes to sing about real situations that he goes through. That's me I like to sing about that. So what do you think I should do?"

"First off, we all kinda knew that you we're sleeping in eachothers beds because I caught brad come out in his boxers of your room. We all thought that something else was going on, If I'm honest. We knew about the drunk kisses, We literally watched it happen back in the U.K when we went out that night before we had to leave for the U.S. you and Brad had kissed but you didn't remember the next morning. As for the two days ago thing, maybe he's also realised the same feeling you're having and he doesn't think that you feel the same so he's pulling away and giving you space." James says "And the singing?" I ask. "well, he never writes and sings about situations that have happened to him. Because none have been worthy of that but what's going on with you two, is so worthy of that. It worked up enough motions in him for it to happen so don't worry about that. The best thing you can do now is talk to him don't let this drive a wedge between you two and also a wedge between the band because it will. you need to talk" "thanks I will right now."

And I'm rushing off to the studio again where Brad was. I knock on the door before I hear a hush "come in" just faint enough to hear and I'm opening the door to where Brad was sat on the sofa and sit next to him.

"Heard you're song. Are you okay?" "You weren't meant to hear that. Truth I'm not Y/n I can't keep going on like this. I can't keep not talking to you but I also can't keep acting like we're together, when we're not and you don't feel the same because It's driving me crazy because I wish we were something else." "who says I don't feel the same?" "You. two nights ago. I said I loved you and you said I don't feel the same way." "Brad that was a joke, of course I love you anyone would be blind to see that the way we act is because we love eachother not because we're just bestfriends Brad I love you and I miss you In my bed" I say standing up and crouching down to his level "You really feel that way?" "course I do. now kiss me you Idiot" and we start making out on the couch before Brad interrupts and says "Will you be my girlfriend" "yes Brad."

⋆｡°✩

yourusername

liked by jamesmcvey, bradleywillsimpson, and 30,000 others

Yourusername: think he looks pretty fit stood in the kitchen. free hugs are for girlfriends only😏

fan1: YOURE JOKING JAW IS SWINGING RN

fan 2: OMG!!! yes finally, took them long enough

thevampsfan:YOU ARE KIDDING FINALLY. NOW WE GET COUPLES MUSIC FROM BOTH OF THEM.

view 450 more comments

⋆｡°✩

bradleywillsimpson

liked by tristanevans connorball and 67, 000 others

bradleywillsimpson: think my girlfriend looks pretty nice here @/yourusername

connorball: I think everyone was waiting for this, could've told us first though :(

↳yourusername: we did connor you seem to forget that

kirstiebrittain: happy for you two now we can have double dates

view 406 other comments

#brad simpson fluff #bradley simpson #brad simpson imagine #brad simpson x reader #brad simpson angst #brad simpson #brad simpson x y/n #the vamps #james mcvey #tristan evans #connor ball

16 notes · View notes

anincompletelist · 6 months

Text

weekend wip game! :D

thank you thank you @daisymae-12 for the tag, I SO enjoyed reading through your current projects (and everyone else's that have been floating around!) I have so many of my own that I scream about privately but I suppose I can do it publicly as well with the right persuasion (this. definitely this.) anyway -

PLEASE feel free to do this and tag me if you haven't already. I LOVE reading about yall's current projects! <3 (also much love to @welcometololaland for creating this fun game!)

I hope you're all doing well! :D

-- anincompletelist/sarah

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more). (questions for artists/gifmakers here).

1. WIP List:

[hitman alex / prince henry au]

poetry fic (literally SO much poetry this is my Baby) [computer science major alex/english major + poet henry]

coworkers/fake dating au (part of firstprince first kisses)

[journalist+escort alex/prince henry]

boxer alex au / snippet here

truman show au [henry as truman/alex as lauren] !!! partially in script format

dog walker alex au (feat. DAVID!)

abdication au [lawyer alex] LOTS of family drama/henry angst and most of it takes place on a TRAIN which for some reason to me makes it so much more intriguing

drunk dial au [based on 'dial drunk' by noah kahan - canon divergent - years after the worst breakup of either of their lives, alex manages to get himself arrested during a trip to london and the only person he can think to call is henry, his ex. (things work out, of course. I am incapable of writing unhappy endings)]

bridesmaids au (june is getting married, brother alex and best friend henry are her (rival) ‘best men’/bridesmen who are always trying to compete to give her the best wedding possible)

lots of other little drabbles and oneshots -- honestly this list grows every day but these are the main ones!!

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

poetry fic!

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

poetry for sure, but truman fic is a close second!

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

it definitely changes day-to-day, even though it stresses me out to have a lot of projects going at once (skjhdjhs) I enjoy being able to switch around between them and write whatever I'm in the mood for!

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

probably truman au. I have big plans for it and I've fleshed out the characters really well and I feel like the trope is PERFECT for alex&henry and it (to my knowledge) hasn't been done before so! I want to do them justice. also it's surpassingly fun to write scenes in script format!!!

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

all of them, to a degree (the universal Creative Experience). but I think poetry fic? it deals with some heavier themes and the characters are so special to me (it also deals with a lot of my own personal struggles and features some of my own poetry) so I worry about it being perceived well or being relatable to other people.

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

I'm not sure if I will! when I wrote in other fandoms I had a lovely friend that would look them over for me and we'd talk about them, but they don't write for this fandom and I overthink SO much that if someone gives me criticism I may just scrap the entire scene sjkhkjhd. I kind of just post and hope for the best!

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

on a steady rotation :D perks of having so many wips that I can just switch it up when I get stuck!

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

I'm fully aware I sound like a broken record but definitely poetry fic. i can’t say too much without giving away some of the plot but he’s an older man who can relate to henry in a lot of ways and kind of becomes a part of their story <3 he’s only in a couple of scenes but they’re so important to the story!

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

hitman alex for SURE, but journalist/escort is definitely a close second.

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

oh gosh, it's between hitman / abdication / poetry / boxer / and truman ?? but honestly I can't write anything without a little angst, so! I feel like there's so many elements to their dynamic that are just perfect for it (with mandatory happy ending of course)!

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

most accurate? probably poetry fic. most fun to write? hitman.

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

POETRY!!! it's literally the personification of autumn and warm blankets and falling leaves and old books and alex's cinnamon coffee (of course) and Henry runs a poetry club and they're both so soft and ugh it's just the best ever and I wish I could live in it. (in my own humble opinion).

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

as far as research goes, definitely poetry.

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

I'm not really sure. I wrote in another fandom that I always felt like everything I posted had to cater to who was going to read it and it's been extremely liberating to write for RWRB and just post what *I* like or would want to read. I don't really care about hits, but my biggest hope with anything I post is always that it makes someone else feel seen/heard/validated or brightens their day/night a little, the way that so many other fics/art have for me. <3

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

YES. I have the angstiest dreams and anytime I hurt my own feelings I wake up and write it down immediately. (ESPECIALLY with hitman and journalist recently).

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

truman au for sure. it's written in alex's pov and we only see henry through script format for the first half. I'm really excited about it, I've never written anything like it before and I think it adds such a cool element to the story (if I can figure out how to format it correctly on ao3 jhskdhj - we'll cross that bridge when we get there I suppose).

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

coworkers and dogwalker I would consider to be 'funny' fics -- lots of banter and joking with each other and general lightheartedness!

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

not currently, but I LOVED writing June's character in this fic because I have a chronic illness myself and I liked getting to explore it from an outside perspective! I also would love to explore a bit more with henry's dad and their storyline at some point as well.

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

here, have THREE!

henry's poetry club in poetry fic is called 'speak easy' and is held in an old speakeasy lounge

in the hitman fic, alex goes by the codename Ander in public

abdication au is inspired by a five minute scene in a james bond film that takes place on a train and just spun out from there kjshdjhs

YAY that was so much fun, thank you again for tagging me @daisymae-12 , had a super bad chronic illness day the last several days so this has been such a fun and much welcome distraction.

I don't have a lot of people that I know of that haven't done this, but off the top of my head -- @inexplicablymine (I know you shared wips but I'd love to hear more detail if you're interested in sharing!) @onward--upward @firstprincewrites @magicandarchery @sparklepocalypse and anyone else who comes across this post!

again, there's NO pressure at ALL but I would love to hear what y'all are working on and just what you're up to in general!

I hope all of you guys are doing well, I'm so ridiculously grateful for all of the work you guys put out and the difference that you make. have a wonderful weekend and take care! :D

#my fic #rwrb fic #rwrb fanfiction #tagged

6 notes · View notes

binarystarduet · 4 months

Text

— Happy Holidays, Zora!! @balmasque

Surprise!!!! It's your day today!! Gosh only a few left to go now... I can hardly believe it. Everything I want to say is under the cut!! I love you, I hope you enjoyed your gifts !!

my favorite cowboy

⟡ I'll try my best to not be a broken record because what haven't I told you before? You're funny, you're funny, you're funny, and you're funny. Like, you and Molly both are so effortlessly hilarious and I'm not just saying that! You've been here seemingly through it all, and I couldn't ask for a better person to have for the ride. I'm not the best at sappy words and tend to ramble and repeat myself but I love you. You're one of my best and closest friends in the entire world. And if it weren't for you, we might not have been able to properly meet Molly!! I love our calls together, it's always literally the BEST time ever. I can't wait to do it again soon! And don't be shy to ever ask us either, hehe. You have such a welcoming personality btw, I have always loved how easy it is to talk to you– in general and about anything! You're a great listener too. You deserve to be acknowledged and recognized for things, and I hope you know that I see you. Your art has improved so much and I can't wait to see more in the future!! Keep going!! Thank you for everything, and for sticking by us for as long as you have. You're an amazing person, truly. 🤍

My inspirations for this year were "characters I knew you as in a past life!", and well, so many choices! There's Chu2, Futaba, Vanitas, Ivy, Amanda, Judgement, Willow, etc! Maybe another day. ♡ But, Kyoko. I'd like to think we were a lot closer than the source leads to believe. I had many opportunities to get to know you better, and I'm happy I was able to. Both then, and now. Thank you for helping, and being a friend to Madoka. I hope you can find peace in this timeline. Raven, you were a phenomenal friend, I mean that, you made everyone feel both listened to and cared about. You changed the outcome of our lives and allowed people like myself a chance to live. Truly live. Thank you for everything, and I want you to know there's never been hard feelings from me about anything that happened. Um, Taki-chan... hi. I want to also thank you, for being in our lives. At the right place, at the right time. For giving us a second chance, for giving me a second chance, and for moving forward with all of us, together. You mean a lot to me, you know? I don't say it enough, I think. Sigh. But I'm so glad you were in my life then, and continue to be in my life now. I hope we find each other again in the inevitable future! ☆

being meguca is suffering ⟡ Mao 🤍

2 notes · View notes

votederpycausemufins · 2 years

Text

it's been a while since I posted a chapter. Would someone like to tell me wtf is up with tumblr's post formatting? who changed it? i don liek.

Well, the first section gave me major writers block but the rest was smooth sailing. well, other than the fact i was delayed from kinda graduating. I am a very happy muffin due to that, and now you can deal with writing from someone with a gd degree, so take that or whatever.

Remember to check my pinned post to find all the chapters for this fic if you need a refresher.

and lastly since this is a hermit tommy au fic, thanks to @petrichormeraki for first creating the au.

Xisuma landed on what should have been the shopping district, but instead of the terraformed mushroom island filled with buildings, it was a plains area with creeper holes littering it and a few simple and broken builds. There was a cracked nether portal, not able to let anyone through, but still humming with magic, something that worried Xisuma more.

Tommy had been living with the Hermits for a good amount of time. At first he was terrified of all of them, Xisuma especially, but over time he was able to relax and feel safe. Tommy had also shared some of what was going on before ending up in Hermitcraft, but they all knew it had to be worse than he was describing it. But this was even worse than Xisuma thought if it was all real. The large open space meant it was easier for mobs to spawn, worsened by the lack of structures for safety. Then factor in the damaged portal, and things could get… messy.

Xisuma was used to hearing his own voice come from elsewhere, whether from recordings, or from his brother’s mouth, but neither of those should have been around. But as he approached the log walls of what fit the description of what Tommy’s home had been in exile, Xisuma still managed to hear someone talking that sounded too much like himself. And then when it stopped, there seemed to be a quiet reply from Tommy.

Though the walls of Logstedshire stood fairly well, everything inside the wall was gone, replaced with a deep hole from who knew how many explosions. And standing in the center of it all was Tommy, a copy of Xisuma right behind him.

Not wanting whatever was happening to continue, Xisuma slid down into the pit, running over to Tommy and the fake, calling out for the teen. Tommy looked up, then between the admin and his copy before the copy seemed to whisper something in Tommy’s ear.

“Hey! Get away from him!” Xisuma called out, wishing he had some way to easily separate the imposter and Tommy. Even more so when he finally reached Tommy and the teen flinched. “What were you saying to him? What did you do?”

Sure, Xisuma could be a bit of a derp, and while he knew the ins and outs of actually being an admin, in practice he wasn’t always the ‘best admin’ as everyone claimed he was, the start of season six being an example of that. But when it came to his hermits, he hated the idea of them getting hurt on his watch. Especially the younger hermits. If he had a way to keep them safe, he was going to try it. So seeing Tommy like this, especially due to a copy of himself, really hurt.

With a few quick movements, Xisuma moves Tommy to him and his own body between the teen and his copy. Tommy was covering his ears and had his eyes squeezed shut, his body tensed. Xisuma wasn’t sure how to help with any of that, too worried about making it worse, so he went to look at the other version of him again, only to find them gone.

After whirling around to look just about anywhere, the imposter seemed to really be gone, which on one hand was good to not deal with, but also worrying, as Tommy could be more likely to mistake him as the fake Xisuma.

“Tommy. Tommy, Tommy. Can you tell me what I was just saying?” He asked while carefully pulling one of Tommy’s hands away from his ears. Sure, the easy thing to do would be to claim everything the fake said was a lie, but after one too many hermits having come to him in the past convinced him otherwise. Tommy’s former admin had isolated Tommy like this, hurt him, then claimed that they alone were Tommy’s friend. And the teen was in a situation where he was desperate enough to believe it. So in saying the imposter was lying, they could have not been and were just twisting truths.

‘ban.’ Was the only word Xisuma could hear from Tommy. He had said more, but they were too quiet to be heard. “I said I was going to ban you?” Xisuma asked to be sure, and Tommy nodded. “I would never ban you.” And then Xisuma was reminded of how this place worked. It was based on what the other person thought or believed in. On one hand, that fact hurt, but it was only because Tommy had been hurt so much already. “Other than me saying it, why would you believe that?”

Tommy flinched at the question, likely interpreting it as accusatory. He spoke again, but had to repeat himself, Xisuma finally catching the word ‘brother’. Immediately Xisuma’s thoughts went to Grian, him being the one they were after, but Xisuma still asked which brother, only to be shocked when his own brother’s name was spoken. He was quiet, trying to figure out what to say while also keeping his emotions in check. “I… you’re right. I have banned him before.”

Tommy tried to pull away from Xisuma, and while he loosened his grip, the admin didn’t let Tommy go fully. “I know, I’m sorry. Tommy, I’m sorry it’s hard to believe, but I would never ban you. Especially after what happened with my brother. He… he had been a pain since we were in season two. Trying to destroy the world again and again. The closest I got to banning him before had been trapping him in a lava pool until he left on his own.” Tommy tensed and X quickly clarified. “Xannes is immune to fire and lava. I think due to his hacking.” And that seemed to calm Tommy down a little bit.

“I said he couldn’t come back until a certain time. He wasn’t officially banned, he just followed the unofficial rules.” Xisuma then smiled for a moment. “I helped him a bit and he hung around season five for a time. Made a friend, told me a little about his own server, which I now know is Hels.” And with the mention of the somewhat alternate reality, his smile went back to a frown. Sure Tommy couldn’t see the admin’s mouth behind his helmet, but the sadness in his eyes was enough. “In season six, he was back to being evil again. And one day I couldn’t deal with it anymore. So I did what the others had suggested multiple times in the past, and finally banned him. I… didn’t know what would happen.”

“For most things outside of Hermitcraft, if I needed to ban him, I would. Done it a few times with some solo worlds. He’d of course always find a way back in. And then hermitcraft himself, he’d find loopholes in unofficial bans. But when I actually banned him, it all went wrong. Normally it sends you to what is considered your home world. If that place was the one you were banned from somehow, you would be sent to the world you frequent most after that. When I banned my brother, he was mostly living in Hels at the time, so, when I banned him, whatever natural magic tried to move him there didn’t work, trapping him in the void. I didn’t even find out until a bit after he escaped, and he was immediately upset at me. I don’t blame him for that though.”

“But because of all that, unless the situation is dire, I’m not planning to ban anyone again. And I doubt I’ll have much reason to.” At this point, Tommy had mostly calmed down, so Xisuma was able to look him in the eyes. “Sure, maybe you’re not the ‘ideal’ hermit, but who is? Doc finds a break in reality to exploit at least once a month, Mumbo’s machines create time distortions that affect anyone nearby, and Grian’s likely created more chaos than any one hermit on their own. I’d never consider banning you and if for some ungodly reason I tried what your last admin did and sent you to a place like this, the Hermits would come to visit you anyway.”

Tommy pulled away slightly. “You’re still admin. You could make them stay away.”

“Tommy, has anyone ever told you about someone named GenerikB?”

Tommy shrugged. “Maybe? Sounds sort of familiar.”

“He was the original admin. Hermitcraft is named after him like how your old world was named after Dream. But he only made it because he was jealous he wasn’t invited to a different world. Then once he was allowed there, we didn’t have an admin. And not having an admin for a while can be dangerous, so eventually I offered. I had some experience before and I especially started learned more after the fact, but from the start I was only admin out of nessity. Legally, I’m listed as admin, but I’m not the only hermit who has admin abilities in the world and I normally just act as any other player. Remember back when you first joined, you were around Grian so much, you didn’t know I was admin.”

Tommy nodded to that, but still was looking away from Xisuma. “You’re still admin… Dream didn’t have his fancy powers, but he was still admin.”

“That’s true.” Xisuma agreed. “I’m sorry. I wish I had whatever words would reassure you. To be completely honest, I’m a little hurt.” And out of the corner of his eye, Xisuma could see Tommy suddenly look back at him, likely worried he had messed up. “I’m hurt I didn’t notice that you were hurting this much. We’ve all been dealing with what scares us here, if the other things we’ve gone through are any indication. Obviously you’re still worried about me turning out like your old admin. I’m sorry I never noticed you felt that way. I don’t know if I could have ever helped it, but I want to care for all the hermits. And that includes you.”

It was quiet for a bit before Tommy spoke up again. “It’s not just ‘cuz you’re admin. The Dream SMP was just really fucked up. My friends abandoned or betrayed me, those that didn’t do either got killed, the one person who said they were my friend was pretending and manipulating me, and my family was fine to pretend I don’t exist. ‘Course I’ve been hanging out with Grian since he’s pretty pog and right up my alley with his pranks and shit, but he’s always around Mumbo and the bots. The bots always called you their grandpa, which I thought was because of the whole shit with you being admin or whatever, but then one time I heard Mumbo calling you dad.”

That last bit seemed to be news to Xisuma with how much it surprised him, and Tommy made note of that, but otherwise kept talking. “My guess is because he was around my age when he showed up or whatever. Basically grew up here. There. Whatever. But before then, I was fucking fine, I was dealing with it. But I’m practically family with them and then he spouts the bullshit of you being his dad and… suddenly you’re like family, friend and admin all shoved into one, and none of those worked out for me.”

“And you started waiting for the other shoe to drop again.” Xisuma finished for Tommy, who nodded. “If you would like, when this is all done, I can leave you alone. If you want something else, you don’t have to contact me directly, you can ask someone else to do it for you.”

“Thanks.” Tommy replied, quietly, the spoke up again in a sadder voice. “This was stupid. I was just stuck here and everyone had to go through more traumatic shit.”

“That’s not true. You’ve told us about this place. I and the others have seen how your’re- …you have a distaste for plains biomes. Just being here must have been bad enough. Not to mention whatever was going on before I arrived.”

“What about the others?”

“Well I was the only one able to get here, I think because of my being an admin, though Wilbur was able to see something on what was going on here.”

“Ghostbur was one of the people who was in e-exile with me.” Tommy explained, struggling to say the word directly.

“Ah, well, that explains that. Now, would you like to go over to the others? Or do you want to start by going elsewhere that’s quiet to calm down first?”

“Can we do the first one?” Tommy asked, and Xisuma nodded, then asking whether they wanted to fly or for him to teleport, which Tommy picked the latter option.

Xisuma took them to the replica of Cleo’s base, the zoo setting being one that Tommy enjoyed normally and seemed to find calming enough in the present. The pair took some time to ground the teen, trying to think of topics less related to the current issue, but Xisuma knew that there was still something going on, since they were still stuck in this imagined scenario’s world. “So, what do you think the others are up to?”

“Alright, so you’ve got a lot of hybrids and shifters in Hermitcraft, right? Like you’re a creeper hybrid.” Paul spoke up. They had been waiting a while, so he had been trying his best to keep the conversation going and not make the wait seem so long.

“Yeah.” Doc agreed. “And I guess also cyborg at this point. Before you ask, the goat horn is just cosmetic like the metal one.”

“Got it. And I know Bdubs has latent genes. Anything come up yet?”

“No, not yet. He’s still holding out hope. You know I’ve taken a couple looks at him.” Doc paused, thinking something over before speaking again. “To be honest, season 5 was… a mess in more ways than one, but it was the first time something tried coming out. At least it seemed like it.”

“So something jungle or arboreal based most likely. Ever talk with Joe about it?”

“Nah, he may know more in general because of the, y’know, Herobrine thing. But he doesn’t know anything about that.”

“That’s a shame.” Then Paul went over what he knew. “Well, let’s see, so you and Bdubs are both hybrids, Joe’s a higher being. I know Beef’s just human.”

“Hey, I don’t think you can call any of us Hermits ‘just human’ man.”

“Well, it terms of the scale, yeah he’s human, unless I’ve missed everything from the past however many years.”

“Nah man, you’re right. Beef’s essentially just human.”

The two walked along a bit before Paul spoke again. “So, you’re friends with Ren, who’s a shifter, but says he’s a werewolf most of the time.”

“Yeah, he’s fine with that term. He just dealt with a lot of hybrid stigma growing up so it’s easier to have people call him a werewolf instead of going at old wounds.”

“Makes sense. Now let’s see. Grian’s obviously an avian, based on what I know he’s more on the shifter side of things?”

“Honestly, who knows man. Watcher stuff makes it weird. Normally he stays the same but it’s when that Watcher stuff happens. And apparently that happens with any Watcher, human or being.”

“Got it. Well your admin’s a voidwalker. Tommy might have latent genes from his heritage, but he might just be like Wilbur and just be human. Keralis I’m ninety percent sure is human.”

“More sure than we are.” Doc replied, half laughing.

“Zedaph’s a sheep hybrid as well as being the Reaper. He’s friends with… Tango and Impulse I believe? The first of which is netherborn and the second is… are they human?”

“Yeah Tango’s netherborn, but Impulse is actually a demon.”

“No kidding.” Paul said, a little surprised, but ended up just nodding his head, accepting it as fact. “Oh, is Biffa still around?”

“No. He left. He’s ended up more secluded than you. But it’s fine. He needed the break.”

“Well I hope he’s doing well.” Paul paused as EX walked over. “Any updates?”

“Ugh, no. Either Xisuma has forgotten, the derp that he is, or he can’t actually change it to let any of us in. So he’s stuck out there alone with Tommy to fix things.” The Xannes looked between Doc and Paul. “What are you talking about?”

“Well I thought I’d ask Doc if Bdubs’ latent genes had come out yet.” Paul explained.

“Alright?” EX just looked more confused, then turned to look towards Doc.”

“Bdubs is a hybrid, but we don’t know what of yet. Then we just started covering what all the hermits are since half of us aren’t really human.”

Xannes looked back and forth between Doc and Paul before huffing. “Fine, just leave me out of it.”

As the hels walked away, Doc chuckled. “Well sort of obvious. He and X are brothers.”

“Yeah… Well, let’s see who’s next. Oh, right. How could I forget Etho?”

“Because of the fact that no one actually knows? Even with some actual testing, I still don’t know because he manages to screw up the results.”

“I’d suggest it could be magic, but that’s, what, Scar Cub and… Her name was Stress, right?”

“Yeah. Some vex dealings and then fae lineage with Stress. She and Impulse get on well enough though.”

“Good to hear.” Then Paul counted on his fingers, knowing the number of hermits, but not recalling off the top of his head how many he had named compared to how many he knew. Then, he seemed to remember more and snapped his fingers. “Right. Cleo. Easy enough to just say zombie hybrid, right?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Then Jevin. He’s aetherkind, right? Modded world? Swet hybrid?”

“Yeah, you know your stuff. But I mean, he’s the obvious one.”

Paul had to take a moment to realize what Doc meant. “Right! Wels. Also Aetherkind as counterintuitive that is.”

“Yeah. Named after the dimension his home doesn’t even naturally belong in. I’m sure someone out there has it the other way around.”

Paul shrugged. “Maybe. Then you’ve got TFC who’s at least partially an ancient with what I know. And everyone else except Mumbo is human.” Doc was silent for long enough that Paul doubted what he had just said. “Wait, are one of them not human as well? Sorry, Your letters always implied-”

“Mumbo’s human too.” Doc spoke, making him and Paul stare at each other like the other of them was crazy.

“No… He’s a being. Latent hybrid maybe. But I can tell something’s there.”

“But he’s not like Etho. There’s no way he’s messed with the results.”

“Then something’s up. Maybe if he had stayed in Hermitcraft, I could concede being wrong. But he’s been with us the whole time. I know he’s something. You know I know.”

“Yeah well…” Doc stood back up. “For once, I think you’re wrong.”

As Doc walked off, Paul looked over to where Mumbo stood, getting into a small argument with EX. “And I know I’m right. I just don’t know the full answer.”

Things had not gone that well when Grian and the girls got back to the castle. Finding Aven hadn’t helped much. It was frustrating enough with him calling them ‘Grifter two’ ‘yellow Nightmare’ and ‘Wile’s kid’ the entire time, but anything he knew about The Dark was shaky at best since he was mixing up facts and sometimes sprinkled in unrelated information. They tried piecing some stuff together after the talk to learn that the place has some sort of stupid strong creature guarding the place you first showed up in, and you had to kill it to get anywhere else. How to get anywhere else was the question because then Aven started talking about a ‘Finny’ and the Warden Soul and maybe a gateway? It was practically incomprehensible, so eventually Flora was the first to give up and dragged Astrid and Grian away so they could rest for tomorrow.

They woke up bright and early, or maybe even dark and early because the sun wasn’t even up yet when the door to the room in the castle they were staying with was broken down. Astrid and Grian woke up easier than Flora did and were quicker to notice that there was someone else in the room that wasn’t supposed to be there. The lights were turned on and Grian was even more freaked out to see a dragon standing in the middle of the room. It had black eyes that contrasted against its toxic green scales that screamed danger. For a moment he wondered if this is how he was finally going to die, when he was more upset if it was going to be embarrassing as, in an almost cartoonish fashion, a tiny bipedal goat walked from behind the dragon, their legs moving in a near blur as they moved at a normal walking pace.

“H-hello?” Grian asked, not sure how to react to the current situation. He was trying to have a nice greeting but it just came off terrified. The goat seemed to notice this and turned to the dragon, waving one of their little cloven hooves, hands? Whatever they were, and the dragon suddenly shifted into a more hybrid form, scales seeming to change into a royal looking jacket and the black eyes becoming cracked sunglasses. “R-right, that’s less terrifying.”

“Slatt!” The little goat man spoke up, then continued with some loud chewing noises? Grian had gone so quickly from terrified to extremely confused he had a bit of whiplash. Some other phrases the tiny thing had were ‘Kiddie.’ ‘They thought I was gay.’ ‘Rice man.’ and also some slurping noises? Eventually they were stopped when Astrid threw her bat, er, umbrella at them, opened up the side room’s door, and brought out Jane. “Kiddie! Kiddie! Slatt!”

The goat man grabbed Jane’s hand and left the room, and the dragon hybrid nearly did too before the door shut on its own. The dragon looked back towards the trio, hand changing into claws before they were bonked on the head with a pillow by Flora. “Next time Toob wants something from us, he can ask us himself instead of sending you two.”

“We were visiting anyway. World is shut for a reset, so we’re here for the day. Slatt was very upset to learn our granddaughter was missing.”

“Ah, so you’re whipped is what you’re saying.” Flora huffed. “It was a goddamn prank. She was fine. Silski and Astrid are good enough… acquaintances that he could have shown up or gotten Toob to send a message for him., made this simpler.”

“Oh well, guess we were too rightfully concerned.”

‘I hope you choke on a sweet roll.’ Astrid signed, but it didn’t seem the dragon hybrid knew sign since he just nodded and left.

After that, Flora fixed the door and the trio tried to get back to sleep, and at the very least she was able to, but Grian and Astrid, not so much. And that was about where they were now, lying in the dim light, listening to Flora snoring. Fortunately, it was easy enough to have a silent conversation. ‘You can’t sleep either?’

Astrid frowned, not immediately signing back. It gave Grian a chance to actually look at her, since she didn’t wear her mask to bed. She was still mostly encased in her hoodie, but grian could at the very least see everything below her eyes, noticing a few freckles on her cheeks and the bridge of her nose as well as a few scars littering her face. Her lips looked a bit chewed up, but otherwise there weren’t any fresh wounds, which was slightly comforting to know those scars probably weren’t recent. ‘Not really. Not a fan of getting barged in on.’

‘You too?’

‘When your brother is the admin, no locks can keep him out.’

‘I stopped locking the door because they kept getting broken and we couldn’t afford it. Just had to live with getting barged in on.’

‘It sucks’

‘Yeah it does. Though a friend of mine managed to get something set up so we had one day to ourselves.’

Astrid just nodded, seeming to think something over before signing again. ‘My sister’s like this too.’

‘Yeah, I knew about the animal thing. What’s the sign for HYBRID?’

Astrid quickly showed Grian the signs related to hybrids before giving some clarification. ‘Vee and I are both adopted. Our dad was in a shitty situation growing up, so he ended up finding us, saw the shit we were dealing with, and decided we were his kids now.’

‘Oh, that sounds cool.’

‘Yeah. Vee mainly lived with her actual mom when she was little. Her dad was out of the picture, which sucked because her mom was fucking horrible. Liked exotic pets, decided a five year old was perfect to look after them.’

‘That sounds horrid.’

‘Yeah’ Astrid signed, nodding, ‘So she only really associates animals and their parts with danger and bad. Claws and beaks hurt, ears and nose track her, tails trip her up, wings hit her, etcetera.’

‘Yikes. At least I could hide my wings if I tried meeting her. Doesn’t seem like Flora can do that.’

Astrid shook her head, then looked over to Flora. ‘Well, we should try to get a little more rest like her.’

‘Yeah, thanks for letting me talk. Or- you know.’

Astrid gave Grian a thumbs up, then rolled over and pulled the blanket she was using back over her. Grian looked over at her for a few more seconds before doing the same and before long, he managed to get to sleep again.

Hours later, Grian had been led to the foot of a giant temple thing. It was sort of like if someone had shoved a snow tower on top of a pyramid of ice, but also giant as hell. Though he still didn’t know how Cerus really was, one look at this place made him get some ideas. It also didn’t help that just before stepping into the perimeter of the place, both Astrid and Flora drew their weapons, leaving Grian to do the same.

As they walked through, Flora seemed the most alert, her ears swiveling every which way to catch any sound she could. Grian was also hoping that he could pick something up since based on what little he knew about hybrids, most if not all also had heightened senses of some sort. But it didn’t seem to work out when he looked in the opposite direction of the other two and only noticed one of the stone statues was different not even a second before it grabbed him.

The girls pointed their weapons at whatever Grian was being held by, but didn’t get a chance to attack before Grian started kicking and managed to hit a weak point enough to get away. Turning, he was finally able to get a good look and see it wasn’t a stone statue. Though shaped like the other statues, it was metallic, and also seemed to have some sort of pink cloak over it. Lastly it seemed to have ruby eyes, like no, it wasn’t a red color, but actual rubies as its eyes.

“Cerus.” Flora spoke up, and even though it should have been obvious, Grian was still a bit surprised that this was the person they had come to see. “Look we just owe someone and they cashed it in to make us get info out of you. We would have loved to ask Aven, but he’s…”‘No brain cells.’ “Yeah he’s got no brain cells.”

“What information could you possibly think I would give away?”

“We’ll fight you for it if need be.”

“Wait, no I don’t agree to this.” Grian spoke up.

“Smart kid. Fine,” And Then leaned down and spoke in a babying voice. “What do you think I’m gonna tell you about?”

“The Dark. You’ve been there, and my uncle opened it up again, but we don’t know what’s on the other side and Astrid’s older bother already fucked with it.”

“Older bother?” Cerus asked, a metallic eyebrow raising, making Grian wonder how that was supposed to work.

“I can’t think of a better way to insult him. Suggestions would be lovely. I stuck all my brain cells on a trio name and Wassa ended up being the one to pick it.”

“Oh. That explains it. He wants a catalyst or some growths, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, essentially.” Grian spoke up, not sure if when Cerus turned to look at him, they were glaring or not, because the eyebrows could move, but the gem eyes didn’t change shape at all. “I had some weird shit on my wings, we got it looked at because it was mushroomy, and now he wants more as payment. Or more, he just wants to know if he’ll get permakilled to get it.”

“Oh, well that’s simple enough.” Cerus said with a slight chuckle. “I’m sure Flora-” “Fleur.” “Whatever. Your uncle fixed it properly. Nightmare was still fucking around so things would have been broken there. The only thing that would screw things up is if the place closed up again while you were in there. Respawns were working fine until that happened.”

Astrid and Flora were fine with the information and started to leave, but Grian hesitated. “Who didn’t get out? Was that Aven? Is that why he’s a ghost when no one else is?”

Cerus was taken aback for a moment before huffing. “I heard that there was supposed to be a younger Grifter about, but I didn’t realize you would be just as nosy.”

“Sorry… I was just curious.”

Cerus crossed his arms and the rubies seemed to glow for a moment, maybe in anger or something, but then he sighed. “Someone… working with us got trapped in there when the place first got locked down. That was their punishment similar to Aven’s… current situation was his punishment and my consistent residence in this world is mine.”

“You mean you can’t leave?”

“That’s correct.” Then he looked at Flora, definitely glaring this time. “You can thank a relative of yours for that. Not your grandfather.” He tacked on at the end when Flora started to open her mouth.

‘Well I think that’s all we need. Aven had enough wits about him to mention there’s a monster on the other side. We just needed respawn info.’

“Well I’m glad I could help you so you won’t just stick around bothering me. Now, leave before I make you.”

And not wanting to test the patience of the statue man, Grian grabbed Flora and Astrid and ran them out of there. “So, I guess we got what we needed?”

“I mean I think? Now I’m wondering who in my family Cerus dealt with?”

Grian’s wings twitched slightly and the mycelium grew a little quicker for a moment. Neither of the other teens noticed, instead focusing on his following question. “Does… Does the name ‘The Warrior’ mean anything? I ran into Aven before since I’m living in the castle, and he mentioned that name.”

“Ugh, yes it does.” Flora grumbled. “Great Uncle. Also death, but in his own way. He’s the chicken guy. Well, the big reason they’re a death omen.”

“Ah, I guess that makes sense. Speaking of chickens, let’s get home. I want to make sure Sally’s fed well enough. She keeps not wanting to eat normal food but instead he’s getting into people’s chests and eating icestone?”

“That’s weird. But yeah, you can figure that out, I think I want to ask Grifter about the guests we’ve got.”

‘And I should check in with dad. Meet up in a few hours?’

And the teens parted ways to meet back up later at the castle, though while Flora and Astrid did as they said, Grian didn’t make it to Sally, someone else getting there first.

“Hey, there they are!” Techno shouted, getting everyone’s attention. They looked to see Xisuma and Tommy in the distance, walking towards them. Tommy looked a little tired, leaning against Xisuma who was helping keep the teen up, and at the very least they could see Tommy’s mouth moving sometimes, so there was probably some sort of conversation going on.

The first person to run over to the pair was Grum, who when he reached them, tackled Tommy with a hug with enough force he almost fell over. After that, Xisuma picked Tommy up and just teleported them the rest of the way to the group before helping him sit down. “So, what took you so long?”

Xisuma rolled his eyes at his brother before hugging him, which just left Xannes frozen with surprise even after the hug ended. “Tommy just needed to talk for a while and I talked with him.”

“If that’s all he needed, why are we still stuck here?” Phil asked, getting a jab in the ribs from Paul, hand enough to leave him doubled over from getting the wind knocked out of him. He was still able to flip him off before fully recovering, though it wasn’t helped by Tommy nudging him enough to cause the avian to fall over. “What the fuck was that for?”

“I’m getting a new dad.” Tommy answered, Getting a confused look from Phil once he realized Tommy was serious and not just making a joke.

As Phil started to open his mouth, Xisuma stepped in and held a hand up to silence him and then gestured to Tommy. “Give him a chance to talk.”

It took a bit before Tommy got the confidence to actually speak. Before he got any words out, Mumbo had his hands over Grum’s ears, almost sensing just how vulgar Tommy was about to get. “Look. I went through a lot of shit that you three didn’t give a fuck about. Tech was acting like a cunt from almost day one with his bullshit about anarchy as if that shit had anything to do with the crap we had to deal with growing up. Wilbur was a pussy that gave me ptsd well before that green bitch did shit to me. Like I looked up to you and you treated me like shit and then were too much of a pussy in the end to kill yourself and made dad did it first. And then Dad, you showed up because you only fucking finally paid us enough goddamn attention to figure out the bullshit we were dealing with from that green motherfucker, but you still acted like a dick and shut yourself away and didn’t give a shit when I disappeared. I’ve got no fucking clue how true it was, but I’ve heard from at least someone that you and some others thought I fucking deserved what I got. You only gave a fuck when you thought I killed myself because you suddenly realized you were down to one kid and maybe realized that maybe you could be less of a fuckface and try to fix it, only managing to screw me over more. Because because of you guys, I might have gotten an actual goddamn good family but I was so fucked over, I thought they would be just as shitty as you three. So yeah, maybe you’re technically still family, but I’m getting my own fucking peace of mind and getting Xisuma to adopt me or some shit so if you fuck things up again, I’m not stuck with you people.”

There was a bit of shocked silence as people tried to comprehend what just happened before Paul shook Phil’s shoulder a little to pull him from his thoughts. “Well… fuck, I can’t really just apologize to fix that.” Phil started but then sighed and nodded. “But fine. I’m sure if I said no, you’d still do it. I already dealt with a bit of a mess with Wil and Fundy, I don’t want to deal with another, so go ahead.”

“Well fuck that!” Grum spoke up, getting a quick scolding from Mumbo. “Family’s weird but I’m still calling you my brother like we covered before. Stop trying to be an uncle because it’s not working on me!”

Mumbo went to scold Grum again, but Tommy just laughed and ruffled Grum’s nonexistent hair. And that seemed to do it, because in a few moments, the scenery changed, and instead of the enlarged base, all but one of them found themselves standing in a sort of cross between residential and shopping districts that looked unfamiliar to most of them, but clearly overgrown. The cheerful tone immediately shifted to a more grim one as simultaneously, Paul, Mumbo and Xisuma all spoke. “This is Doc’s.”

94 notes · View notes

chrisevansjellybeans · 3 years

Text

I Love You, You Idiot | Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Here I am, once again writing in my favorite "we're best friends but we won't say we're in love" trope. Someone stop me.

A/N: This does not fall into the TFAWTS timeline!

Warnings: swearing, fluff, angsty-ish

*not my gif*

The bass rumbled through your entire body as you tried to listen to whatever story Sam was telling to the group. You tried with everything in you to listen but the mixture of the loud music of the club and your best friend's hand just casually laying on your exposed thigh was making it very difficult. You noticed the group laugh so you let out a small chuckle but if anyone asked you would not be able to say what was so funny.

“You okay, doll?” You glanced up at Bucky, who’s blue eyes were squinted with concern. His thumb slowly rubbing circles on the spot on your inner thigh where it was rested. “You look a little out of it. Do you need me to take you home?”

Say words, Y/N. You told yourself. But forming sentences was getting harder and harder with each circular pass the pad of his thumb made.

“Uh.”

Good job. Very articulate.

You didn’t want to be that person. The person who falls in love with her super hot best friend, but doesn’t say anything because they don’t want to “ruin the friendship” and then ends up sad and alone because said best friend doesn’t realize the feelings and moves on to someone else. And yet here you were. Being that cliche.

“Guys, I think I’m going to take Y/N home.” You heard Bucky say. Snapping out of whatever trance you were in you shifted away from him so his hand was no longer on your leg.

“No, I’m fine.” You stood up, strong and steady. “See? I was just thinking about some work stuff. But I’m gonna go grab another drink. Anyone want anything?”

The group shook their head and you made your way to the bar, happy to be away for a couple minutes.

Your moment of solace lasted only a few seconds though because you felt Bucky’s presence behind you. He trapped you in by placing his arms on either side of you, his chin landing on your shoulder.

“Wanna take shots?” Bucky’s voice rumbled in your ear. You really hoped he couldn’t feel the goosebumps that arose all over your skin. His breath smelled like a mix of spearmint and whiskey. A scent that if it came from any other man you would have probably been repulsed but on Bucky it was just comforting.

“Only if they’re tequila.” You turned around so you were face to face with him. Bucky gave you a cheeky smile as he waved the bartender over, ordering two shots each and then your regular drink order. As the bartender got your drinks ready, Bucky leaned down on his arms so he was even closer, your faces barely an inch apart.

“You’re my best friend, you know that?” Bucky smiled, pressing a slight kiss to your cheek.

“You’re mine too.” You whispered but you knew he heard you. Thank god for that super soldier hearing. Bucky stood back up and you could tell that he was on high alert, making sure that no one bumped into you or was making a beeline in the direction you guys were in.

You turned back around and placed your arms on the bar and leaned against it, your breasts pushing up slightly causing the guy next to you to take notice.

“Hey,” you glanced over as the guy next to you turned his body to fully face you. “You are the most beautiful woman at this bar.” You were amazed at how bold this guy was being. Bucky was still behind you, his arms still on either side of you. To anyone who didn’t know the two of you, it would be safe to assume that you were a couple.

“Thank you, that’s very sweet of you.” You smiled at him and leaned against Bucky’s arm a bit, to hopefully give that couple illusion even more.

Bucky was watching the interaction carefully, not yet ready to intervene but there if he needed to. You noticed his vibranium hand flex on the bar as the guy continued to flirt with you, that small action causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

“You wanna get out of here, pretty girl?” The guy leaned in even closer to you, officially popping the imaginary bubble you had around you. That was enough for you and for Bucky.

“Alright buddy, ease up.” Bucky pushed a hand against the guy's chest, moving him away from you. “She’s with me.”

“Relax, big guy. Why don’t you let this little mama speak for herself.” The guy stood up from his chair, he was Bucky’s height but you, Bucky and the guy knew that if it came down to it Bucky would kick his ass.

“This little mama doesn’t want to go home with you.” You said sternly. As you finished speaking, the bartender placed the shots and the drinks in front you.

“Bitch.” The guy mumbled, shaking his head and making his way around Bucky.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Bucky grabbed the guy by the front of his shirt. His eyes blazing as he glared down at the asshole. With each second that passed you could tell his hands were tightening around the guy’s shirt.

“I called your little slut girlfriend a bitch.” He spat out. “Maybe control your woman from flirting with other men at-”

Before he could finish, Bucky slammed his fist into his face. You let out a scream as the guy fell to the ground. Everyone’s eyes now focused on the three of you. Bucky reached down and grabbed him, pulling him back up. You had to look away as blood started to pour out of his nose and down his face. It looked like Bucky was about to punch him again but you quickly put your hand on his arm. Bucky looked over at you, his chest heaving, his metal arm shifting under the stress of his grip.

“Bucky, please. It’s not worth it. Look.” You glanced at the crowd that started to form, phones out and recording.

You could see the headlines now: Winter Soldier Bar Brawl: Is he still unhinged?

You spotted Sam making his way over, his face full of concern. Turning back to Bucky you squeezed his bicep. “Please. Let’s go.”

“Buck.” Sam made it over to you. “Go, I’ll take care of it.”

Bucky heaved as he pushed the guy away from him and then grabbed your hand. He quickly threw down a crumpled hundred dollar bill on the bar and didn’t wait for the change as he pulled you through the crowd of recording phones and out of the club.

He quietly pulled you down the street until you guys ended up at least four blocks away from the club.

“I should have killed that guy.” He huffed as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. Immediately he winced and pulled his flesh hand out. You hadn’t noticed before but his hand was definitely red and swelling. “Fuck.”

“Oh my god, Bucky,” You sighed as you gently took his hand in yours, turning it over and inspecting any damage. It didn’t look fractured but it was definitely sprained and going to be sore for a while. “You could have broken your hand, you fucking idiot.”

“It will heal in a couple hours. And you’re welcome.” Bucky scowled in your direction. “Next time, I’ll just let him shit talk you all night.”

“I didn’t ask you to do that. If you would have waited another twenty seconds we would have gotten our drinks and probably wouldn't have seen that man again.” You glared. “Instead you had to turn into a cave man and beat on your chest and prove your dominance.” You tried to sound tough but your voice was shaking given how cold you were. You had left your jacket back in the club.

“I wasn’t proving shit, Y/N.” Bucky snapped as he pulled his hand out of yours, sliding his leather jacket off and putting it around your shoulders in a huff. “Maybe it infuriates me to hear someone talk about you like that.”

“Well it’s not all cake and ice cream for me, but you don’t see me throwing god damn punches.” You sighed as you wrapped the jacket tighter around your body. “This is going to be everywhere tomorrow.”

“Who gives a fuck.” Bucky muttered.

“You should!” You fumed. “It’s not a great look to have you out here punching random guys at bars, Bucky. Especially over nothing that important.”

“Stop talking like that. God, it’s like you are the only fucking person who doesn’t see how goddamn special and important you are.” Bucky hissed as his hand continued to throb. “So please just..stop talking.”

You snapped your mouth shut as you shot daggers at Bucky which he gladly returned. You turned away from him, calling a car to take you back to his place. You both waited in silence, Bucky only making the occasional foul exclamation whenever his hand hurt. Finally for what seemed hours the car finally pulled up. Bucky, always the gentleman even when angry, held the door open for you as you slid in closing it gently but not making any moves to get in the car. You looked up at him through the window confused but he only shook his head and tapped the car, signally for the driver to leave.

“Can you please wait.” You turned to the driver who let out an annoyed huff.

“Five minutes lady. It’s almost bar time.”

Quickly you opened the door not stepping completely outside, the air having an unforgiving bite to it now.

“Get in the fucking car, Bucky.”

“You go, you have a key. I just need some time.”

“You can take some time in your apartment. Just get in the car.” You retorted.

“I’m not getting in that car.”

“James, I swear to god.” You were fully out of the car now. You slammed the door shut causing the driver to cast an annoyed look your way. “What is your problem? We argue all the time, it’s not that serious.”

“It’s not about the argument,” he grumbled. “It’s about the fact that you are so completely oblivious to how fucking perfect you are and how it wasn’t just that guy that was staring at you but every other guy in that bar. And how angry it makes me that I just want to go up to every single of one of them and tell them to put their dicks away because you’re mine and only mine.”

Your breath hitched as you processed his words.

“And I’m doing everything in power to not just shake you until you realize that I love you, and not just as my friend.”

“I-”

“I can’t believe I just told you that.” Bucky shook his head and let out a humorless chuckle. “Get in the car, Y/N. I’ll see you later.”

Bucky turned and started walking down the street.

“James Buchanan Barnes!” You yelled after him. “If you don’t think that I love you back, then you really are a bigger idiot than I thought.” Bucky stopped in his tracks.

“What did you just say?” He asked as he faced you again. He stayed where he was but you could see the tension start to leave his body.

“I said,” You smiled as you let out a long breath. “That I love you, you idiot.”

Before you knew it, Bucky was over to you and he had you scooped up in his arms. His mouth moved feverishly against yours, every emotion that the two of you had for each other pouring out in this one kiss. Your hands found their way up his chest and around his neck. He let out a low moan that sent vibrations through your whole body.

“Alright, lady, I’m leaving.” You both ignored the driver as he waved you off and pulled out and down the street. But you couldn’t care less because you were finally in the arms of your best friend.

“Say it again.” Bucky whispered against your lips.

“I love you, you idiot.”

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction

1K notes · View notes

punemy-spotted · 3 years

Text

The Price You Pay

Pairing: Mob!Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Non-con/Dub-con, mentions of murder, unclear timeline, blackmail, unprotected sex, fingering (F!receiving), smut, esoteric references to past abuse, manipulation, Dark!Fic

Words: 5.2k (holy fuck?)

Summary: You need his help. He names his price.

Notes: This is for @stargazingfangirl18 and her incredible 5K Soft!Dark Challenge and I can't believe I wrote over 5k words for a oneshot, making this the longest piece I've ever written. I took a blend of prompts: Mob!AU; “When I woke up this morning, I certainly didn’t think my day would end like this;” and “That’s a big favor you’re asking for, I think you need to make it worth my while.”

And this was intended to be a oneshot but now I can't stop thinking about it so thanks Siri, I think this is now a part of my WIPs too! Your work is amazing and I had a blast being able to take part in this!

As usual, my work is 18+ ONLY, Minors DO NOT INTERACT

You went to him first.

You went to him, handed them your business card and I want to speak to Steve Rogers.

Honestly they almost threw you out with an extra hole in your head but then the man of the hour walked right in.

So now you’re here. Now you’re here, sitting across a gorgeous dining table with a ten-course meal laid out and honestly you’re surprised they didn’t tie your wrists to the arms of the chair while you watch him eat and take in the look of those baby blue eyes scanning you over.

He even brought you non-alcoholic rosé, when you said you didn’t drink.

So.

You wanted to talk to me?

Yeah, I do. Thought you’d just sit me in your office, have a consultation.

I like breaking bread with new friends. Have a nice dinner, get the wine flowing — of course, that’s not gonna loosen your tongue, but we’ll forgive it.

Oh. Cool, I like being forgiven.

He laughs at that one and the room, strumming with tension, snaps into amusement. So do you, cracking a half smile on dark red lips, before swallowing down the lump of anxiety threatening to break through and destroy everything. You need this. You need this and you can’t let anything — not your nervousness, not your morals, not him — stop you. You need this and it needs to be done and if this is what justice is in this fucking city then so be it.

Well, sweetness, you’ve got my attention. You want to talk business or pleasure?

That one makes you laugh, a little sharp and a little cruel, and the curling smirk on his face gets a little furrowed because he hears it too — pain.

It could be both, you say finally, picking up the glass of rosé-that-wasn’t, if your reputation is as real as they say it is.

He lifts a bite of cheesecake into his mouth and lets it melt on his tongue while he watches you, somewhere between impressed and incensed. You know the look — you saw it the last time he met you in court, but you weren’t there as allies then. Never thought you’d come to me, he admits finally, sounding halfway bemused at the idea, but you’re full of surprises, aren’t you, Counsel?

You wince, or maybe smirk, eyes on the man before you.

It’s a game, a dance, a ruse, and the woman you thought you were thirteen months ago when you put four of Steve Rogers’s best men in jail for fifteen years — fifteen years longer than any District Attorney had ever managed to do before you, and you were just the rookie they handed a shit case to — is leagues different from the woman you are now, seated prim and proper in the lion’s den.

You’re not innocent. That’s not been your game for years — this life doesn’t leave room for innocence, it tears at you, leaves you tired and broken and ill.

Your colleagues learned to fear him a long time ago, the man before you. Captain America, leading the city, the country, the world into a new era of high tech crime all under his thumb. It’s a pretty shiny shield, the one that sits behind him, but mirrors are black on the other side and his soul is dark as coal.

You’re not an angel yourself, and this deal with the Devil isn’t for anyone but you.

I need someone taken care of.

So you come to me? I thought you were a lady of morals, Counsel.

Certain kinds of morals.

You can see him smile, see the way he raises his glass, the glimmer of malice and amusement in his eyes. So tell me. What’s the name?

You give it.

He’s not in the city, your target, but he will be. A Judge, an activist, real tough-on-crime-sweet-on-justice type of shit. You don’t tell him the reasons why, because those are yours, but you tell him the name. You tell him he’s a problem, you tell him he’s dangerous, you tell him you’ll pay to have him taken care of, you tell him you don’t want to practice in front of that black, black robe.

And he smiles like the Devil he is, watches you with a grin and drinks his whiskey in one last shot before slamming it down, Real woman of the law, aren’t you?

You said that when we met the first time.

He’s a hunter, you can see it in his eyes. That lion’s mane might be tamed right now but it won’t be for long and you’re playing with wild animals. The eyes on you are ice and daggers, daring you to do the one thing everyone in the office has been begging you not to do.

(Drop the charges, Rookie, the case is just to get your face in front of the judge.)

You upped the charges.

(Rookie, you don’t know what you’re dealing with, there’s other cases.)

You subpoenaed his phone records.

(Rookie, don’t make me drag you off this case!)

You won.

You had no witnesses and a jury you had to drag in from god-knows-where after you proved, over and over again, that he’d paid off the cohort in the courtroom. Finding people with nothing to lose and a desire to do their civic duty wasn’t harder than you thought — it was exactly as impossible as you expected.

But you did it.

That’s what you do, isn’t it? Push and push and fight, claw your fingers at the ledge and pull yourself up, you pay for your crimes in your blood, sweat and tears you pay for the things you could have done then and didn’tdo.

You pay.

And sometimes, that payment bounces back.

And when it was all said and done, when the closing statements were delivered, when the Jury came back out and the Judge — hands shaking, mouth agape, eyes wide — read out the verdict no one expected, you… didn’t feel any better, did you? There was no justice for you in that room, just the searing glare of ice-blue eyes and the burning of your steel spine.

Real woman of the law, aren’t you?

First words he said to you, while the courtroom emptied out and you stood there, facing the man you’d just made an enemy of with your briefcase in your hand and your eyes aflame.

I did my job.

Did you? Is that what you think your job is?

My job is justice, unflinching and blind, Mr. Rogers. I don’t care how much power you have or how afraid you leave this city, I’m going to do my job.

You could always let justice turn a blind eye.

Yeah. I could, but that wouldn’t make this any fun, would it? Thank you for the win, Mr. Rogers — I’m sure I won’t get many more.

You leave him with a smile on his face and the scent of your perfume in his memories.

He leaves you with the pride of victory in your bones and a reminder that your strife could be worth it.

One day.

How do you plan to fill that pit, the one you tossed the corpses of your old self into? The one you let them claw up out of, to haunt you? Remind you?

You’re digging your own grave and you know it, but you won’t let Steven Grant Rogers be the first one to toss a handful of dirt over your corpse.

But now here you are.

In his dining room, enjoying dessert and some sort of after-meal coffee. In need of him…

This might almost have been a date, if not for the topic of conversation.

So. You want a Judge taken out. What if he’s already on my payroll?

Why would you keep a dead man in your pocket?

You like the sound of his laugh, and you don’t even have the excuse of wine to fall back on when it warms your core. Don’t admit it though, don’t say it aloud, don’t let him get an in. Be smart, cross your legs tighter, keep your eyes on the prize.

You’re so close to the finish line.

That’s a big favor you’re asking for, Counsel, I think you need to make it worth my while.

Worth your while?

I’m not a charity. And since you put the guy I usually use to handle these things behind bars for a few years—

You know I can get him out too.

That’s not payment, that’s putting things right.

You take a drink. Steady on, girl.

I’m leaving the DA’s office.

That stops him.

Oh that stops him good, and he looks fascinated. Interested. You’ve said something he can use as leverage and it’s not just about a job. That smirk on his face is smug and his eyes are darker and he has to know the impact that look has.

Can’t falter, don’t falter, don’t give in.

Am I allowed to ask why?

No.

You’ve done your research. You just don’t know why you’re thinking about it now. Steven Grant Rogers, “Captain America,” leader of a crime family that had too many names to stamp out, bolstered by a mad scientist, a military man through-and-through who turned New York into his own private base against whatever stood against his way.

Get in his good graces and you’re set for life. Get in his good graces and you’re safe, you’re protected, you’re good.

Get on his bad side and you only make that mistake once.

There are no second chances in this game, and here you are, asking for one.

So what? You leave the DA’s office, you leave yourself open to me — you think leaving New York is going to be the thing that stops me, Counsel?

No.

Then what?

Breathe. Steady.

I know you gave me that win on purpose — you could have taken out my last jury cohort. This isn’t about the four men… and you know I’ll get them out. This is something else, but I’m not here to ask about what or why.

He falters just briefly, like he’s surprised you knew, but the crack in his mask smooths itself over as soon as it forms and he’s back to watching you, nodding along in silence while you breathe and watch him and keep talking.

But even then. I got four of your guys in prison. And I know how your organization works — I subpoenaed the documents, remember? Your lawyers are good, but they’re not used to people asking the right questions. You want someone to seal up the cracks you need someone who actually knows what to look for.

You have more than his attention, you have his interest, and now he’s leaning in a little. Imperceptibly, but enough. Scanning over you from across the table, like he’s thinking how you managed to get so impertinent in the face of the likes of him but that’s the thing — when the only thing you have left to lose is your life, you’ll risk everything.

So what are you offering?

Breathe. Don’t. Stammer.

Myself.

The chair scrapes and suddenly there’s the clicking of guns, aimed and ready until his hand rises up and he stops them and he’s stalking towards you.

This is the lion’s den, sweetness.

The stakes are higher and you ought to be braver and he’s got your chin in his hand before you have a chance to react, dragging you to your feet. Do you know what you’re offering me, Counsel? Low and hissed and hungry, like those perfect teeth might be sinking into your throat in the next moment.

Oh, you have no idea.

You get me. On your payroll — you know. The offer you sent me a year ago.

You think it’s still open?

If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have met with me.

The chuckle in your face makes your cheeks warm and you’re looking more flushed than you would like, the open shoulders of your dress suddenly feeling a lot more like a mistake the more you realize just what kind of meal he might make out of you tonight.

We might need to have a discussion about your workplace duties, Counsel.

You don’t notice the hand near your thigh until it’s too late, sliding up the soft fabric of your skirt until it’s squeezing your ass, until it’s jerking you towards him, until you’re pressed against his chest and the hand on your chin is now hooked around the back of your neck, thumb pushing your jaw until you’re forced to look at him. Won’t lie, when I woke up this morning, I certainly didn’t think my day would end like this, having your pretty little body in my arms,and you can look as indignant as you want but he’s got the upper hand and you only thought you were two steps ahead of him.

You think I haven’t thought about what it’d be like to put you in your place, Counsel? You’ve got a smart mouth — I wanna know what else it can do.

He doesn’t give you a chance to use that mouth to lash at him, lips sliding over yours, swallowing that indignant yelp with a punishing kiss. Nipping at the plushness of your lower lip until you open your mouth and yield to him with a sigh of reluctant surrender, let his tongue slide past that barrier for him to explore. He’s got his fingers wound through your hair, just a little too tight and whether the whimper in your chest is because of the pain or because of the want, he doesn’t care.

Knew you’d be sweet, Counsel… softly, when he pulls back to look at you, take a look at those love-swollen lips and your ruined lipstick, the pretty way you pant at him already, the heat burning your cheeks. Pay no attention to the slick warmth between your thighs, pay no attention to the way he makes you burn already, pay no attention to how your fingers have curled into the lapel of his coat to hold yourself steady, pay no attention to how you suddenly miss the pressure of his lips.

All that smart-talk and now you’re quiet, Counsel? F’I knew it just took a kiss to get you to shut up, I would’ve done that at trial, he’s purring in your ear, soft and sweet and you should push at his chest, so uncurl your fingers girl and push.

I didn’t say I was selling my body, there’s your harshness, and there he is, laughing at you again, the grip on your hair jerking your head back until you’re looking into those dagger-cold eyes again.

You don’t make the rules here, Counsel, I do, and you need me more than I need you. So if you want to make sure your Judge can’t start wreaking havoc on your career… you might want to get used to readjusting it for me. I promise I’ll make you feel nice, if you let me…

And if I don’t?

Then I take what I want and I don’t feel bad for not holding up my end of the bargain. Your choice, Counsel, you cum willingly and I’ll give you everything you want. Don’t, and it’ll hurt you more than it hurts me.

That’s not a threat, that’s a promise, and suddenly you’re more scared than you ever thought you’d be, wondering if you’ll need to sell another part of your soul to take him down after. How much of yourself will you put up as collateral to get justice for the wrongs you were never able to correct?

You’re afraid.

Oh sweetness, you’re afraid.

Here? Now?

No, Counsel, we’re gonna do this right, aren’t we? You wanna be in bed with me, I’ll take you to bed with me. Come on, say it. Say the word.

Say no. Say no, rail and fight, stamp your heels into the expensive leather of his shoes, jam your knee into the sensitive between his legs, scream and yell and tell him you will never let another man take advantage of you again to help you reach your goals. Do it. Do the thing you swore you would do the next time a man like him — men who think they can take anything from anyone, men who think they own the world and the women in it, men who think you aren’t strong enough to fight back — propositioned you just like this.

You’re selling your soul to get rid of a man just like this.

But that’s coiling heat in your core that wasn’t there the last time, was it? That’s want. That’s the realization that you like the way this predatory smile feels, that you like the way this one wants you. You’re not her, not scared and alone and helpless. You could fight back and run and maybe escape if you were lucky.

You could choose.

He’s let go of your hair to stroke your cheek with the backs of his fingers, soft and sweet, You gonna give me an answer, Counsel, or am I gonna have to take it?

Say something. Say no. Scream. Say no say no say no say— Yes.

It’s a whisper. A desperate, soft whisper. A helpless, lonely whisper. It’s enough.

He sweeps you around until you’re pressed with your back against his unyielding chest, feeling him flex with every movement, broad arm wrapped around your shoulders from the front. All of you are dismissed, and that’s when you remember there were others in the room with you. Others who just watched you concede to becoming Captain America’s newest plaything and the burn on your cheeks is more shame than lust. You pull at his arm briefly, futilely, earning a tighter hold for your efforts and a whispered don’t make me choke you, before you are half-walked, half-dragged out of the dining room.

The walk to his room is slow and agonizing as you’re pulled along, barely struggling but barely helping at the same time, tears sliding down your cheeks as you come to terms with what’s going to happen next — no one is going to save you tonight, no one’s going to interrupt and drag you out, this is your job and this is your place and here you are.

No one speaks. There’s no sound but the steady tap of your heels and his shoes on fine marble. Even your sobs are silent, even your breathing is muffled, until the stairs are traversed and the faintest click of a lock turning opens the door to the rest of your life.

You made a deal.

Time to pay.

Sit on the bed.

You move as if in a trance, and he watches your face, the hint of waterproof mascara failing to do its job, the smudged ruby red of your lipstick. Don’t give me that look, you knew what you were signing up for when you walked into this house, Counsel.

His hands are gentler than you’d expect, when he wipes away the streaks your tears leave down your pretty cheeks, coaxing you to look up at him, We’ll set ground rules later. Tonight? I wanna see if I can get that mouth of yours to beg for me.

It won’t, you snap without thinking, knifeblade sharp and cruel, ready for a fight again. He promised you that once, in a hiss you thought you’d misheard but no, you heard him just fine and now if he thinks he can quench your fire and have you pleading just because you sold your body for the prospect of revenge then he’s wrong.

Thing is, he laughs like that’s a challenge, and the hand holding your chin so gently is wrapped around your throat before you know it, silencing your voice with just the right application of pressure. I can do this all night, Counsel. Do you think you can last that long?

Fear. Anger. Indignation. You are fury made flesh and he is manipulating you with just the barest press of his palm and sliding over you, until you’re laid out there on soft sheets and he’s looming over you, splaying that big hand out and sliding it down your throat, over your chest, feeling the ruching of the fabric under his palm. You wrapped yourself up like a present for me, didn’t you sweetness?

The change in nickname isn’t lost on you but here you are, glaring up at him while he smiles so beatifically it leaves your blood boiling and your skin steadily warming. The rise and fall of your chest is hypnotic, every angry breath a swear you don’t utter, every inhale your protests dying in your throat. What can you say, what would you say, right now? There’s nothing that can change the way he looks at you, or the way his eyes flicker from ice to blue fire the more he takes stock of the pretty little thing he’s about to start sharing his bed with.

Fuck, you’re beautiful, that one shocks you, but not as much as the sudden rush of cold air when he tears the emerald green fabric of your dress down and reveals the soft swells of your breasts, nipples peaked from the sudden cold.

You don’t get much time to gasp, just something soft and strangled before he turns your voice to whimpers, wrapping lips around that pebbled tip and laving his tongue over sensitive flesh. Where are your words now, Counsel, while he threatens the softness of your chest with the scrape of his teeth, when he slides his hands over the round curve of your thighs and parts your legs so he can press himself between them, so he can press himselfagainst you? Where is the knife-dagger of your wit to protest each soft, suckling kiss to your skin, each press of his fingers like he could just squeeze his ownership of you into the plushness of your hips, into the sweet swell of your ass? What do you say to the dirty little thrust of his hips as he bucks with his own burning need, reminding you just how much this is for hispleasure as he will make it for yours.

You would, could, should push him off and instead what are you doing? Curling your fingers into the silk-smooth of his comforter, desperate to writhe out of your own skin away from the burning pressure between your thighs, the foreign, unfamiliar heat you suddenly feel like you might be craving.

Anyone ever touch you like this before me, Counsel?Warm breath splays across your skin when he questions you, eyes fixed on yours and he waits. Answer him, answer him, tell him he’s nothing, tell him you’ve had better, lie and destroy that ego, lie lie lie lie—

Nnnh—no.

He looks like you’ve just told him the best news of his life, eyes wide and blown with lust, Oh is that right? You’re saying no one’s ever touched you this good? Or just no one’s ever touched you at all?

You don’t have to answer. The furious blush on your cheeks? The way your eyes slide away from his? The way you writhe, trying to press your thighs together to relieve the pressure and finding the effort futile? If the man’s grin could get any wider, it would, right now. Oh sweetness, we’re going to have so much fun exploring your body together…

He pulls back just enough to take a look at you, already flushed and writhing and overwhelmed and if he could take a picture of this right now he would. He’ll save that for later though. Tonight? Tonight is just the two of you, and his hands are back to your skirt, pushing the tight fabric up over your round hips and revealing the lace of your panties… just before he rips them off, to the sound of your indignant yelp Steve!

You’re going to call me Captain, sweetness, we’re not close enough to use my name just yet.

No. No you’re not, and he’s not sure you’ll ever be — he rather likes the idea of hearing you whimper out his title when he gets you desperate and wanting.

He touches, slow and steady, watching you try to jerk away and tutting at you when you do, fingers at your delicate nerves like an assault on your pleasure. Bite your lip, bite back the moans, whine at him like he’s wounded you, You’re so wet, sweetness, you’re so desperate for me aren’t you, as he palms his cock to relieve the pressure on himself. You’re going to beg before he does and he’s patient, he’ll last the night.

St-stop it, it’s too— he shushes you ahtahtaht and rests his free hand on your mound, holding you down so his probing, inspecting fingers can take stock of the velveteen plushness of your delicate cunt. It’s too much, too much and you want to scream the moment he presses one finger into you, already overwhelmed, already so tightly wound the barest touches are unraveling you steadily.

You’re such a pretty thing, all desperate and needy, sweetness. You wanna cum already, don’t you? So busy, never gave anyone the chance to fuck that stuck-up bitch right out of you, did they? It’s almost pitying, isn’t it, the way he talks, hums at you while you’re reduced to a whining, whimpering mess so soon, so desperate for the release he’s on the edge of denying you, feeling you flexing around his finger and then the second leaping jolt of your body when another joins the inspection. Taking careful stock of the pretty cunt he owns now, and he’s careful to curl his fingers just right as he seeks the spot to hammer just to get you to scream.

You don’t, not yet, but that’s okay too, because he sees the way you take desperate hold of the sheets, the way your eyes roll backwards just slightly, the way you strain against his heavy hand to arch your back. Gotta tell you, sweetness, I imagined you under me a thousand and one ways but this one, right now? Tops the list. You ready to beg for me?

Do it. Do it and end your pleasurable torment. Do it and be released from the pressure, the coiling want. Surrender to him. Let him have you.

The white hot rush of your orgasm is not unexpected to him, his curling, cruel fingers having found the sweetness of your g-spot, but — you, too busy climbing the ranks to think of your own pleasure, too busy demanding your due from an unjust world explore your own warmth beyond that of a memory of a college hookup you would rather forget — you left breathless and wanton in the heat of the explosion he draws out of you, mewling something desperate and pleading against your own will and the song of it fills his ears like it’s all he’s ever wanted. There it is, and I thought we’d be here all night. A thumb flickers over the nerves at your entrance and you practically jump, something between a yelp and a moan escaping your lips.

First one’s just a treat, sweetness. Now on, you cum when I say you do, understand?

You nod.

Oh you nod, and you are lost, here and now. Sensitive and broken and there is so little of that steel spine here, writhing in his sheets and ohyou don’t know the things you do to him.

Think you can go again, sweetness? He’s purring, smug, twisting fingers stretching you slowly, muttering under his breath about how fucking tight you are around his fingers, how good you’re going to feel for him, and the smugness on his face is slowly fading into a dark consternation, brows furrowed like he’s somehow angry at you for being plush and delicate and fuckable.

You’re almost begging him to stop, and yet the pressure is building again, the twisting, coiling heat that leaves you breathless and mewling and he looks like he might be trying to immortalize this moment forever. Say it, sweetness. Say you need me. Beg me for my cock.

That’s it.

That’s what you need to, you need to beg, you need to give in. No more fighting, no more arguing no more —

Please…

Please what, sweetness, come on now. You got a way with words. The snarl is so barely contained.

Please, Captain, please just…

What do you need, sweetness? The fingers are relentless, the buzz in your nerves is overwhelming, you can barely even hear yourself talk, much less him.

Please just fuck me, Captain, I need your cock! It’s hurried and it’s crude and it’s desperate and it’s exactly what he wants as just another wall crumbles and you fall off your pedestal right into his arms.

He’s barely able to resist the buck of his hips, the need to be inside you, the knowledge that you are soft and velvet and you could be all over his senses just like this.

When did he free his cock? You don’t know, you just know it’s practically salvation when he sinks into you, when he fills you like you’ve been desperate for and Oh sweetness…pours from his lips just as you hiss out something like praise right back at him.

You’re so full and he’s so gentle, at first, like you’re made of crystal in his arms, like the slow shifting of his hips might have you shattering underneath him if he’s not careful. Cradling you, even, sliding your legs around his narrow hips as he leans in and takes a hungry kiss from your wanting, whimpering mouth.

Love this look on you, all wrapped around me, whispered low and slow into your ear, sweetness you have no idea how good you look…

Melt into those compliments, melt into him, because the way he’s holding you is divine and you can feel him so deep in you it’s making your head spin. When did your arms end up around him? When did you start clinging to him like an anchor, start winding your fingers through his hair, start leaving the marks of your nails on his back to the sound of his own needy groaning?

He noses your cheek and leaves a mark of ownership on your neck with hungry lips, knowing you’ll bruise a beautiful flower right over your pulsebeat and continuing the steady assault on your nerves, cunt-first.

Harder. Faster. More.

And oh, sweetness, you do shatter.

You shatter all around him, you shatter into something divine and rapturous, full of him and filled with him and he cums so deep inside you as you do, still fucking you through your joined climax, hips rutting and breath hitching and nearly furious at you for the way his vision whites out too, the way he feels like he can Never get enough and so he hisses that at you like an accusation while his thoughts reorient back to reality, back to smugness, back to the control you took from him while he tried to strip you of yours.

In the end, as he pulls away from you and sinks to the side of you, watching your sweet expression as you return to the reality of your new situation, he is satisfied… thoroughly.

Oh yeah, I think we can make this a working relationship, Counsel.

#siris5ksoftdarkchallenge #steve rogers x reader #mob!au #mob!steve #steve rogers x you #steve rogers smut #dark!fic #dark captain america #captain america #writing challenge

974 notes · View notes

wpdarlingpan · 3 years

Note

Do you mind doing a yandere Jason Todd with a reader who is kinda insecure about herself and thinks she isn't good enough for a relationship and that no one could ever love her? Btw, I love your work and thanks for sending me that request again, a real honor :)

Thank you for sending this request, and thank you so much for all your support. I love your work as well and thank you for doing my request, it was amazing!

Warnings: Mentions of Verbal Abuse, Angst

It is dark because I am giving background for the “no one could ever love her”.

I was somewhat stuck on what to write so hopefully you guys like it.

Flashback

“You can’t do anything right! Look at this!” Y/N’s foster dad yelled as he pointed to a single dirt spot on the floor he had made when coming into the house.

“But-“ she tried to cut in and defend herself but she got a glare that would shut anyone up.

“No buts! How are you to expect and man to love you if you keep having screw ups like this? Huh?! Answer me.”

“I clean it right away.” She said while struggling to hold her tears back.

“You better.” He growled out before leaving her in the living room with a bucket and mop.

Flashback Over

“Y/N!” She heard from behind her and she sighed quietly to herself when she recognized the voice of the boy who had been asking her out for months.

She was debating on running away, or staying where she was and would have to reject him again which resulted in jealous girls bullying her.

She chose the first option. Y/N ran down the sidewalk and quickly ran towards the direction to her home, she began to make it to an alley when she was lightly grabbed from behind and brought into the alley.

Y/N gasped in surprised and struggled against the wall she was being held to.

“Y/N! It’s okay It’s just me” Jason says as he held her against the wall but loosened his grip as she stopped struggling.

“Jason, why would you do that?” She spoke angrily as her heart was racing, it was Gotham who knows what could happen.

“I’m sorry, but you started running and then I tried catching up to you and then I panicked and yeah…” he explained looking somewhat guilty but it quickly disappeared.

“I wouldn’t have had to push her into the alley if she hadn’t ran.” He said inside his head, attempting to justify scaring her, but he looked down at the girl who was slightly glaring up at him with an adorable pout and was completely distracted.

“Y/N”

“No.”

“Will you.”

“I’m sorry no.” She spoke as she felt slightly bad for saying no so harshly but why would he keep asking out her? There were so many other, better girls.

“Go out on a…” Jason continued he knew she’d eventually say yes, but until she did he would continue asking her and attempt to make her fall for his charm. Of course he knew it wasn’t necessarily required for her to be completely in love with him before he decided to take the next step like the other Bats. Grayson had his “soulmate” as the bats called them, his fell in love with him as well so they were able to be a normal couple, other than Graysons possessive tendencies. Drake took his before they could fall in love, which resulted in many problems. Damian was still looking.

Y/N didn’t say no after him continuing on with his request so he quickly finished it and lightly grabbed her hand and held it to his lips.

“Date with me.” He spoke then kissed her hand while looking deeply into her eyes. Y/N just about melted on the spot as he lowered her hand but still held it in his.

All she could here was the shouts of her foster father who had told her day after day that no man would after date her, let alone love her. She just couldn’t understand why someone like Jason, the man everyone wanted and the son of a billionaire would want her. The girl who couldn’t do anything right.

She saw his eyes that looked like they were begging her to say yes and she was so close to saying yes before she said what was truly on her mind.

“Why would you want to date me of all people? You deserve someone you can help you and be there for you, and I- I can’t do anything right.” She repeated the words she heard so often as they were absorbed into her brain, playing like a broken record.

Jason looked at her in shock. Why wouldn’t he want to date her? He had been searching for his soulmate ever since he was 14. The day he first saw her, he knew she was perfect for him. He saw the tears that built into her eyes and he grew angry, why didn’t she believe him? Is that why she always rejected him, not because she didn’t like him in some way, but because she didn’t believe she was good enough for him? He wanted to reassure her that she was amazing, perfect even; but before he could she was running away leaving a stunned Jason behind. While he was thinking to himself, she saw his anger building and that was what lead her to running.

He turned to go after her but then he thought of a plan.

Jason went back to the manor and logged into the Bat computer and clicked on the secret file he had been making for y/n ever since he met her. It was filled with documents and pictures, even her birth certificate and her address. He was waiting until they would actually start dating to go see her house but he figured no time was better than the present and he was getting rather impatient.

He put on this red hood uniform and went to her house. Luckily her backyard had plenty of trees to hide in. Jason looked around the top floor of the house first but when he didn’t see his soulmate he checked the bottom, and luckily he did because there was yelling coming from the kitchen.

He crouched down in front of the window that was by the kitchen sink and looked into the room to see Y/N and her foster dad.

“What is this? I said I wanted filet! Not some lousy steak! Have you learned nothing?! If you can’t even do this simple task for me after I’ve spent a long day at work just to take care of you, you ungrateful child! No wonder your other parents left, I wouldn’t want you either if you didn’t get me money from the state!How are you ever going to find some unlucky man to love you?” Her father yelled and she stood in front of him slightly shaking in fear. Jason’s fists clenched and ached to grab his gun and kill the man right then and there. But, he couldn’t do that to Y/N, he wouldn’t do anything that risked hurting her.

Her foster dad finally stopped yelling at her and he sat down and ate the food she prepared. She wasn’t allowed to eat whatever food he bought for her to make. Y/N walked back up to her room with a small bowl of cereal, which was one of the only things she could eat at the house because she bought it herself.

Jason went back home and thought over what happened. No wonder she always ran away or didn’t believe him when he asked her out, not with those words drilled into her head. He knew that he needed to act fast, Jason wanted to make her feel loved.

The Next Day

Y/N walked down the halls at school like usual until she was unexpectedly pulled into a empty classroom.

She turned around to see Jason standing there with a large bouquet of her favorite flowers.

“Y/N, Will you please go out on a date with me?”

She looked into his eyes and once again saw them silently begging her to accept, and she truly did what to… but she was scared.

“Why?” Y/N couldn’t help but ask once again. To her, she wasn’t anything special, she wasn’t worthy of being in a relationship. How could she possibly say yes when she had so many doubts filling her mind.

Jason’s eyes softened and he told her everything he loved about her, from the ways her eyes shined brightly when she was happy, or the way she would lightly twist her hair when she was nervous; which she was doing as he said that making her eyes widen adorably, he told her how he loved how she tried to help everyone around her. Jason could see her shoulders rising up as if the weight of the words her father had told her were slowing disappearing, and he kept going until she was smiling shyly with slight happy tears in her eyes.

Y/N didn’t believe what she was hearing. Jason, Jason Todd, Son of Multi-Billionaire Bruce Wayne, like her. But she looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity behind them and Jason finally got the answer he wanted.

“Yes. I will go on a date with you.” Jason lightly put the flowers down on the desk then rushed to Y/N and picked her up in a hug and spun them both making her squeal slightly before laughing. Jason could hardly believe it. She finally said yes and he was happy beyond compare.

“I guess I won’t have to go with Todd’s plan.” Jason thought to himself with a smirk as he set her down on the floor and handed her the flowers and she held them to her tightly, appreciating the gesture.

“Better off this way anyway.” Jason smiled at her and she reciprocated it with one just as happy. She didn’t know she was never going to be alone again

That’s how Jason finally won over his soulmate and he was never letting her go.

#yandere jason todd #yandere #Yandere Jason Todd x reader #batman #batboys #red hood #timothy drake #richard grayson #Damian Wayne #Jason Todd x reader

347 notes · View notes

dimensionwriter · 3 years

Text

100 Days

Part Three

Part One Part Two

M! Alien x GN! Reader

Warning: pinning

Word Count: 2296

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Today’s the day. A whole month has passed since Experiment 337 became conscious, therefore that means that he is now in the clear to be able to leave his containment. The reasoning for the 30 day period is to see if the alien holds the ability to breath in our atmosphere. So, slowly throughout 25 days, the liquid in the container gains more oxygen, nitrogen, and carbon dioxide until it reaches the point of similarities with Earth’s. Then the final 5 days are just checking on the vitals and making sure there are no complications.

And Shark was able to withstand it! Of course Shark would. There was no doubt in your head that that crazy alien wouldn’t be able to. He’s amazing like that.

Do you know how hard it is to try to look professional and calm while speed walking down the halls? Every time someone would stop to ask you something, you did not stop. You would yell the answer or tell them the name of someone who may know the answer while you were way past them. Luckily, no one pointed out how weird you look speeding to your door.

“Examiner, good morning. You made it just in time,” A low voice spoke to you. You looked away from your door to see your vector’s manager walking towards you. He was the one who’s always speaking through your earpiece. You assumed that he wouldn’t bother you anymore, except for meetings, since Shark was now conscious, but seeing him walk towards you told you that he must have found something new that interested him. Sadly, it must have included you.

“Morning, sir. Have they already started the movement?” You scanned your ID card across the reader causing the door to open. Stepping through, you were met with what felt like a completely different room. The container was broken down into its four glass panels and were laying on the floor in the corner. Your computer was now moved into the corner with a wall around it with windows that peered out into the room. In the middle, was a long table that had the main attraction on it.

Shark was still fast asleep, thanks to the sleeping medicine still being pumped into him. His grayish blue skin seems to look almost matte out of the liquid. Glancing at his limb, the black color that it turned to was a completely different texture. What type would it be most similar like?

“Morning, Examiner. We are almost done here. I am changing their vital readers to be inside of them , so there won’t be cords everywhere that could trip you. I have also added a microchip in their neck, just in case they try to escape. It’ll send a big enough shock to take down an elephant,” The vector’s doctor explained walking around Shark and pointing them out. So he had vital readers in his right thigh, middle left arm, and one in the center of his chest.

“Thank you so much. I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to help you guys,” You apologize seeing how much was done without you. You walked over to your metal closet to put away your personal belongings and grab a fresh pair of lab coat and gloves. You actually get a chance to actually use the gloves.

You watched as your manager didn’t even try to put on any of the sterile clothes and just walked in. He’s the manager, so he should definitely know the rules, but is choosing to ignore it. This man sometimes gets on your nerves.

“So, this is the little shape shifting bastard,” your manager teased, poking Shark in his face. Not the bare hands. Who knows what germs this man has been exposed to and he’s directly making contact with the creature.

“Sir, I would advise that you do not touch Experiment 337 with your bare hands. It is unknown the result that may have on them,” the doctor spoke. The dark bags under their eyes made their statement feel a lot more firm then it would have coming from you. He may be the manager, but the vector’s nurse is equal to him.

He let out a small scoff and started walking around the room looking at things. The nurse went over to the corner room to probably make sure the vitals are actually reading correctly. With everyone busy, you walked over to Shark.

With the tips of your fingers, you brushed away at the spot the manager had touched. Woah. His skin was so cold. It felt like you were touching ice. Lightly, you trailed your fingers down his face to see that the texture was actually similar to something that was matte.

The skin underneath your finger begins to poof out. Looking back at his face, you see that his thin lips were spread out showing his sharp teeth. No way. You looked further up to see a pair of black eyes staring at you.

How was…. There can’t. You looked down to see that there was still a tube going up his back that was pumping the blue liquid. It has been confirmed that this formula worked good enough to put him to sleep. How was he awake?

“Do plan on bringing the bed in later today?” You watched as the manager walked towards the corner room, not noticing the two pairs of eyes on him. He disappeared around the corner and your head snapped down.

“You can resist the medicine,” you accused him. He gave a smirk and let out a quiet laugh. His top arms were folded across his stomach. He reached a little and grabbed the end of your lab coat and began twirling it.

“As I have stated before, Yeah and you can’t. It’s not my fault you humans are so, how do I say this kindly, incapable.” You didn’t even have it in you to argue with him. A million questions were flying through your head.

How did he stop the effects of the medicine? Does it have something to do with him being a shapeshifter? How long has he been doing this? Should you report this?

Wait, why are you doubting reporting this? This is definitely something that should be reported. If everyone thinks all aliens are asleep and there’s little security, he could become a real threat. Going rampant, freeing other aliens, or worse, going onto the outside.

Would he really be that much of a threat? He would probably just try to flirt with all of the security and get them to be his ‘mate’ or something.

“Darling, you look so cute when you think so hard,” his voice purred. You looked over at him to see he was smirking at you. His black eyes drifted down a little and that’s when you noticed that his hand holding your lab coat was raised up. He stretched his neck a little to look underneath it.

“What are you even looking at?” You held no personal items in your pants. Maybe he was analyzing the fabric of clothes better to recreate it better. Has he ever held this type of fabric before? You don’t really know where he came from or his history much. One day, you got a promotion to this vector to be an examiner and got assigned to him. No previous records were given to you.

“Nothing. Just enjoying the view,” he mumbled leaning a little farther over to look. Your brain seemed to freeze as you realized what he was doing. This pervert.

Stepping forward, you yanked your coat out of his hand and smacked the back of his hand. The corners of his eyes crinkled a little as he started to softly laugh. He was enjoying teasing you a little too much.

“Examiner?” You turned around to see the Nurse and the manager staring at you. You blinked in confusion at them. Why were they looking at you weird when Shark was clearly awake? “Can you please not smack the alien? They may be unconscious, but I’m sure they can still feel it?”

Unconscious? You turned around to see that Shark had his eyes closed and his arms back in place. It looked like he was truly ‘unconscious’ it wasn’t for the edges of his cheek twitching from trying to hold in his smile. He was trying to get you in trouble.

“I apologize. Thought I saw a bug or something on his skin. However, it was most likely his skin shifting around due to his ability to shapeshift." You hoped they didn't pick up on the bull crap you just let spewed from your mouth. It's one thing for a manager to touch him, but for a subordinate like yourself to slap him, that's an instant ticket to being written up.

"Bugs? Many workers have been moving in and out of this room. It's a small chance, but still is possible," they grumbled walking towards you. They glanced around the room before letting out a small sigh. "I'll make sure to send a cleaning crew in here just in case."

They actually brought it. You didn't know who to thank. Thank the nurse for being kind and not doubting you or the workers for moving around a lot. Well you thank both.

"Whelp, Examiner. Congrats on getting that thing to live for this long. Definitely thought the damn thing was going to kick the bucket ." His harsh laugh echoed through the room. You didn’t say anything, only allowed a tight lip smile to come on your face. The nurse just rolled their at his dumb statement.

“Examiner, you need to complete your training for in person examinations for Experiment 337,” the nurse reminded you. Their eyes drifted down to Shark next to you before looking back up at you. You swear you saw a small smirk appear on their face. “We will be outside waiting for you to finish up in here.”

They dropped their lab coat in the waste bin and slid their black gloves into their back pocket. Scanning their ID, the door slid open and they walked through. The manager appeared confused by their statement, so where you to be honest, but didn’t question it much and just walked out.

Did the nurse know that Shark was awake? If they actually knew, hopefully you won’t get into trouble for it. That would look so bad if you looked like you were hiding stuff for them and you could get written up, or worse, fired.

“Why do you always leave me?” You turned towards Shark to see he was sitting up now. You tilted your head up to be able to look him in the face. Something to document, he’s tall as hell. His torso to leg ratio is a little less even than humans. His legs are quite long and thick making you believe that’s where his height would mostly come from. But that theory is thrown into a fire seeing as his torso was the length of your entire upper body.

“Now that everyone has left the room, now you want to ogle my body. You perv,” he teased, covering his body with his six hands. The claws protruding out of them pressed into his grey skin. Small little bumps and rises appeared all over his skin. It really was like leather in a way. “Honey?”

“First, I know you didn’t just say I was ogling you. You were the one raising up my lab coat to look at me. You’re even more of a perv. Second, don’t call me honey. I don’t want anyone to hear you say that and get that wrong idea,” you ticked off with your finger. He unwrapped his first set of arms to let the elbows rest on his thighs. Gently, he rested his head on them and stared down at you.

“Then, can I call you babe, sugar plum, my starlight, darling, and/or angel? It would please me if all of the humans on this planet knew you were mine. And I do plan on making you mine,” he whispered. He leaned down towards you with a small smile on his face. In his dark eyes, you could see your reflection through them. Did you really look that flustered?

You stepped away from him and walked towards the door. You took off your lab coat while taking steady breaths. This is your job. You are getting paid to deal with this flirty alien. “Well, I see you're still stuck on that whole mate thing. While you continue to go on about that, I have work to do. See you later.”

You grabbed your ID to scan it when a hand landed on top of the scanner. Then another wrapped around your waist pulling you into a hard surface. Two hands went above you to the door while another grabbed your face to tilt it up.

“I’m not joking when I say you’re my mate. I’m adamant that you are and I don’t plan on letting you go.” His usual smile was wiped on his face, but instead a joyless frown was there. The sparkles in his eyes were all gone. He really was serious about this.

“Don’t worry. I’ll let you go. Just this time.” Every hand around you retreated back to him as he turned away from you. He walked towards the metal table with his tail low to the ground. “But next time, I would actually like some time with you. Please.”

All you could do was give him a small nod as you exited the room. Your mind felt fuzzy from trying to process everything. But you have plenty of time in the future to get answers to these questions.

70 days.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

I actually wrote something. It’s something short but I’m proud I actually did it. I miss Shark and this story. Hopefully, I’ll get to get something else out. Anyway, make sure to Like, Reblog, and Comment. I love to see you guy’s comments.

913 notes · View notes

comfyswitcherblanketfort · 3 years

Text

Grunge-Metal Geralt 3

its finally time 😂 after months of staring at an empty google doc i finally had a useful idea - also y’all, go listen to ‘Brighter Side of Grey’ by Five Finger Death Punch bc that’s the song i based this on and its fire and i love it also all of ffdp is one whole witchery mood

Warnging: vague discussion of a car crash where Geralt was severely injured, big emotionaly vulnerability, swearing?, listen to the song then you’ll get the vibes i promise

__________________

“Give them a break, guys,” Eskel sighed as he wrote down his coffee order, “They had a close call. It’s not like they’re always this…”

“Gross. Skel. The word you’re looking for is gross.” Lambert snatched the paper out of his brother’s hand and stalked out of the room with Aiden in tow.

Jaskier scrunched his nose and called from where he was tucked under Geralt’s chin, “Did we drive them away? I can get up if it’s too much.” Even as he spoke, neither he nor Geralt so much as twitched to make good on the offer.

“Doesn’t bother me,” Eskel shrugged.

Lambert and Aiden, mainly Lambert, were getting fed up with Geralt and Jaskier cuddling and cooing and doing general new couple bullshit. Especially since they’d been together three years now. They were recording a collaboration song, meaning everyone had to be there, but it seemed the two vocalists only really cared about each other. Jaskier sat on Geralt’s lap, played with his hair, stole kisses whenever he could… at one point Lambert caught Geralt tracing Jaskier’s lips and forced a coughing fit to get his attention. He probably thought it was subtle, even if no one else did. So to take a break and get some of what he called ‘patience juice’ (coffee), Lambert ran to their favorite coffee shop while Eskel laid down his bass line.

It’s not that they were intentionally this annoying, not all the time at least. After the car crash, especially once Geralt started doing well in his physical therapy, the couple just couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Not to say that was the only relationship Geralt was suddenly extra involved in, it was just the most noticeable.

Finally, after tea and coffee was distributed to everyone it was time for Geralt and Jaskier to, well, do their jobs. Jaskier was fidgeting and humming little scales, doing anything to calm the sudden nerves he felt bubbling up in his stomach.

“You alright?” Geralt purred, nudging him with his elbow as they stood side by side at their respective microphones. When Jaskier only shrugged he continued, “What's wrong?”

“I’m just not used to so many people being here while I…” Jaskier motioned to the mic before glancing around him and taking a deep breath, “it’s a vulnerable song…”

Geralt’s worry lines in his forehead melted as he pulled Jaskier into his arms, “I can kick them out if you want?” he whispered.

Shaking his head and inhaling Geralt’s scent deeply, something Jaskier had learned not to take for granted, he steeled his nerves, “I’ll be fine. Maybe a little weepy, but fine.”

As they were about to start, listening to the instrumental track and humming their parts of the song, Lambert brought Jaskier a bottle of water and set it on his music stand. He gave him a quick side hug and kissed his hair, offering a small “sorry” for all his teasing. Jaskier just giggled in response, the kind that only bubbles over from too much anticipation. He missed it, but Geralt mouthed a small ‘thank you’ to Lambert as he sat back down on the other side of the glass.

Jaskier hooked his pinky around Geralt’s as the guitar intro started, needing that little bit of contact for the first line. When they’d written it it felt perfect. The audience knew exactly what kind of song they were about to hear and Geralt really hadn’t known if he would pull through. It took Jaskier right back to the dimly lit hospital room where he scrawled and scratched out lyrics to keep Geralt distracted from his upcoming surgery. The fear, the desperation, the little pockets of joy when they forgot where they were, the overwhelming love that Jaskier thought he’d never be able to fully give to Geralt all crept back up his throat as he took a breath for that stupid fucking first line.

His voice cracked partway through as he sang, making him fully grip Geralt’s hand, “I’m writing this in case I’m gone tomorrow,” By some miracle, he found his support for the next line, “I’m writing this in case I’ve moved along,”

For a moment he thought he’d gotten over the worst of it. A couple lines passed in relative ease, emotional but not so much it interfered with his craft. If he focused on looking at his microphone and keeping his breath supported he might make it through. Then Geralt joined him for the chorus.

“When the lights go down, Know that I am never far away. When the sun burns out, I’ll be waiting on the brighter side of grey.”

His harmony faltered and he involuntarily heaved a broken gasp in the middle of a line, desperately trying to focus on the mic that was now warped by the tears in his eyes.

Geralt broke off after the first word of his verse, turning to Jaskier and pulling him in again, “You alright, love?”

“I’m fine. I’m sorry,” Jaskier groaned in embarrassment as he clung to Geralt’s frame, “I’m being a baby. I wasn’t even the one hurt.”

“No you’re not,” Geralt argued, running his knuckles over Jaskier’s cheeks to wipe away his tears, “Here,” he moved their mics and stands close enough that they were shoulder to shoulder and their fingers could comfortably lace together.

Jaskier squeezed his hand gently and gave him a brave smile, “From the top?”

“From the top.”

This time Jaskier tried watching Geralt as they sang. He made it through the first chorus and got to just watch as Geralt sang his verse. The pang of emotion in his chest was still ever present, but it was manageable. Until he noticed Geralt having trouble.

On “All you get to keep is what you’ve shared,” Geralt squeezed his eyes closed and his grip on Jaskier’s hand tightened. The folk singer prepared, relaxed, readied himself to take a breath in. He was expecting that one to hurt after how much Geralt insisted upon it. How he threatened to get out of that hospital bed and scribble the line himself if Jaskier didn’t put it in. He wasn’t expecting the last line of the stanza to hurt. It had been comforting to the both of them at the time.

Geralt’s lip quivered and his voice was almost pinched as he sang out, “Remember no one ever really dies.”

Even being the one to write the melody, Jaskier missed the first three notes of the chorus, “Fuck. Shit. I’m so sorry.”

“No, that was on me,” Geralt sniffed and chuckled, “I knew you’d lose it if I did.”

“How do you do this?!” Jaskier exclaimed, chugging half the water bottle to keep the breakdown at bay.

Aiden’s voice came over their headphones, “Half our songs are his trauma and another quarter are group trauma. He’s got practice sweetheart.”

They tried a couple more times, even got through the whole song once with only minimal tears and one tasteful cracked note. But it was still a struggle for Jaskier to keep it together, and the more they sang, the more Geralt lost his iron grip on his composure.

“Look at me,” Jaskier instructed, moving Geralt to face him and adjusting their mics so they could sing to each other, “Just like when we wrote it. Except a little less pain.”

The joke earned a snort out of Geralt, exactly what Jaskier was aiming for, “This is supposed to be easier?”

“We can try?”

Jaskier did wonderfully for his verse, singing to Geralt was familiar and safe, even if the subject matter was terrifying. The chorus went well, but as soon as Geralt started to sing, Jaskier couldn’t exhale and it was all he could do not to sniff and ruin the take.

“If you’re hearing this I know you’re probly scared,” had tears falling down his cheeks again and Geralt’s voice cracked as his eyes welled up, “Nope,” he choked, “that’s worse. Much worse.”

“Fuck,” Jaskier gave a watery giggle as he wrapped his arms around Geralt’s middle, “Why did we decide to do this again?”

Geralt pressed a kiss to Jaskier’s hair, sniffling and holding him tight, “I think we’re sadists.”

“Back to back,” Eskel’s voice crackled in their ears, “Try it back to back.”

Leaning back to watch Jaskier’s reaction, Geralt hummed, “Do you want to? Or do you need a break?”

“Fuck it,” Jaskier shrugged, spinning Geralt around and following suit as he moved his equipment.

As they stood waiting for the tech to start the audio, Jaskier felt like he could really inhale for the first time all day. Geralt was there, he could feel his ribs expand against his back and his fingers tapping like a metronome on Jaskier’s palms. This is what they were missing when they wrote the damn song. The comfort of knowing someone is always at your back, that they’ll be there when it’s hard and even when you’re separated.

A warmth spread through Jaskier as the intro started and he felt ready. He still pressed back into Geralt on the harder lines, reminding himself he was still there, but they both made it through two full takes.

On the final one, as the recording of the softly picked guitar faded out, Jaskier couldn’t help but repeat two more lines, “When the lights go down, Know that I am never far away.”

His voice hung in the air for a beat, the sense of finality reverberating through the studio and bringing everything else to a stand still.

Geralt was the first to breathe, “Shit, we made it.”

“We fuckin made it,” Jaskier huffed, emotionally drained but immensely satisfied as he turned to hug Geralt from behind and press his cheek to his spine, “I love you.”

“I love you too. Let’s get a snack?”

“Yeah.”

When the sound tech played the potential mix for the first time, he tacked on an echoing, distant sounding recording of their conversation. Everyone looked at each other and nodded, goosebumps on their arms and that feral sparkle in their eyes that every artist gets when they’ve stumbled on something really exciting. They re-recorded some guitar and drums, but they kept the vocals exactly the same.

For the album art they wrote “I love you” on the tattered hospital stationary that had the lyrics and chords written on it and took a picture. Jaskier had the original framed and hung in their house as a little reminder.

205 notes · View notes

kimmyyang · 3 years

Text

210408 Zhang Zhehan's interview with Elle Magazine

"I want to be like Ah-Xu, be a gentle yet strong person."

On the day of the photoshoot, it was a rare windy day in Bei Hai. The weather forecast reported it will rain, which made everyone slightly heart-stricken. "Can we still take photos by the seaside?", "how about changing the location?", we were worrying, but fortunately it didn’t rain, only left with steer drop in temperature and roaring wind.

On the way to the photoshoot location, Zhang Zhehan recorded the sound of wind outside of the window. To be able to use the last bit of daylight before the sun sets completely, after filming, he only had one hour and a bit to go back to the hotel, have dinner, change clothes, and get his makeup done. And now, when we have done everything, he uses the time in the car to chat with the long-waited fans in the drama interactive zone.

Busy is an expected state. But when we saw him at the location, you can’t tell any trace of being busy from his face. The strong wind blew the gravels on the beach in the sky. During the interval of the photoshoot, everyone couldn’t help but complained about the cold wind and getting sand all over their faces. Only Zhang Zhehan looked more relaxed as if he came back from a different beach as us.

When we moved to the coffee shop, we finally had time to sit down and talk. He asked the staff to give him a cushion for his back, at that moment, it was probably the first time that made us realize that he is actually very tired. "It’s tough and tiring to be an actor, right?" we haven’t even finished the sentence, and he disagreed, "it’s all the same, every job is tough and tiring."

It seems that he has a big heart.

He chose to ride to Tibet with his friend for his graduation trip. Like his mum said he always has the spirit of seeking out suffering. Speaking of this journey, he said: "we’re living too happily, most families don’t have to worry about clothes and food, don’t need to go through a lot of hardships. I like what Huang Lei teacher once said, ‘people will only have faith after suffering, people will understand kindness after suffering.’ I think after seeing the suffering in the world and feel the suffering yourself - you will be kind to others."

After hearing what he said, you will realize that ‘big heart’ could have been a misunderstanding. He can’t dilute ‘sufferings’ more than others, instead, in the moments of ‘seeking out sufferings’, his feeling towards ‘sufferings’ is stronger and more abundant compared to most people.

He has a very meticulous side, he feels, understands, and hides his ‘sufferings’. Then, those experiences and feelings related to sufferings become something that is hard for others to spot on him.

He said, "when we’re going through a hardship, we can only see the hardship itself, you don’t realize that it’s actually reminding you something and teaching you something else." This is also his understanding of being mature – you can see the many sides of one thing.

‘Bruce Almighty’， ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’， ‘The Bucket List’ are his favorite movies. He said, "there’s a line from Bruce Almighty that left a deep impression – do you really hope God will give you happiness? Maybe everyone’s interpretation of happiness is different, but in the movie, the protagonist only realized it at the end, God was giving him happiness, but not the so-called happiness, God taught him the ability to gain happiness." He pressed his thumb again his chin, slightly looking down, earnestly sharing his impression of the movie.

He added, "you’re actually changing your perspective of the problem." Like what he wrote before, "being mature is being able to see the things that you couldn’t see before."

Maybe if the settling time is long enough, you will be able to stay calm in the change of tides and guard yourself in the quicksand under your feet. Speaking of popularity, he was calmer than we expected.

He said, "popularity is very important for an actor. I think it’s complementary, when you’re popular, you will receive more attention. You will be able to carry some things on your shoulders, first, it can prove that you have the ability, second, it can prove you’re acknowledged by the market."

He continued, "as actors, we also need to be acknowledged by the market. I have seen some amazing actors, they put so much effort into every character but maybe haven’t been acknowledged by the market yet, so they remain unknown. Therefore, a lot of great characters won’t fall into their hands.” It sounds cruel but it’s an undeniable fact. He added, “if you’re not popular, good scripts won’t even land in your hands."

The success of ‘Word of Honor’, to Zhang Zhehan, is like winning the lottery.

He said, "the success of a drama depends on timing, geographical and social conditions, none of these is dispensable. There are hundreds and thousands of dramas filmed each year, but in the end, there will only be one or two that everyone would love. That kind of feels like winning the lottery."

Working hard is very common, it’s nothing special, he thinks it’s unreasonable if you just use ‘working hard’ and ask why you are ‘under appreciated’. Just like how everyone praises him for being an experiential actor and praises his immersive acting. But he thinks, this is the passing line to be an actor, this is what actors are supposed to do.

He said, "if you’re an actor and you don’t experience the character, how could you portray it well, if you don’t get into the character, how could you make the character come to life?"

Working hard, experiencing, and immersing… he views them as a refined definition of actor, these are the preconditions of the lottery ticket. As for whether you can win the lottery in the end, no one can predict it. At least in his experience, he waited for 11 years for that winning lottery ticket.

After the filming ended, he wrote ‘jianghu, goodbye’ on Weibo, when the last episode aired, it was exactly 6 months after the last day of filming. His Weibo is on the setting of showing only the recent 6 months’ posts, as if it was a ‘long been destined’ farewell.

Perhaps the character Zhou Zi Shu is destined to be his. During the four months of filming, he had to gradually reveal Zhou Zi Shu’s two thousand layers of gray, he had to find him, become him, and lastly live the rest of his life for him.

Actors are probably all like this, they always must pour in their own life, emotions, and experience to make the character come to life. The process of making the character come to life means the actors get to experience life and emotions once again.

"Life is experience, you need to put some of your experiences into your characters."

Hegel mentioned in ‘Lectures on Aesthetics’ - 艺术通过供观照的形象可以缓和最酷烈的悲剧命运, 使它成为欣赏的对象。(thank you @sixteenthshen for providing the original quote!)

the specific lines zzh mentioned is bolded: If we are in a general way permitted to regard human activity in the realm of the beautiful as a liberation of the soul, as a release from constraint and restriction, in short, to consider that art does actually alleviate the most overpowering and tragic catastrophes by means of the creations it offers to our contemplation and enjoyment, it is the art of music which conducts us to the final summit of that ascent to freedom.

The reason why those so-called pains are endowed with aesthetic tension may lie in ‘being watched with pleasure’. Those most beautiful things aren’t been torn in our real lives, they become one ‘tearing performance’ after another, being shown on the stage, shown on the screen. The existence of aesthetic distance made ‘those so-called pains’ into something that can be bearable, having its own appreciation.

That so-called ‘pain’ experience comes more direct towards actors, there’s not much room for leeway. In his previous interview, he commented that Zhou Zi Shu is the most memorable character, the character that hurt him the most. Talking about ‘getting hurt’ again, he thinks that is unavoidable.

"I say that an actor has to get into the character and get out of character quickly. But when you’re acting in a happy scene, that happy feeling might last for a day or few days. When you’re acting in a sad, heart-broken scene, even you say it’s ok, it’s fine, it won’t affect me. But it will affect your mood, including your actions. When I go back to my room, I can’t help but to think about that scene, I might not be willing to go out and walk around."

"So, do you think acting is a process of wearing yourself out and wearing emotions down?"

"Of course, of course, of course, it’s wearing myself out." He said of course three times consecutively, "it’s not just wearing my emotions down, it also wears my physical strength out, wears my experience out, and a lot of my own things. So, if I want to do well in a piece of work, I can’t go into the next crew right after I have finished filming. Because you will have traces of the last piece of work, it’s actually hard to accept and get into the next character."

"I personally really like to stay in the filming crew, the reason why I said Zhou Zi Shu is great is that we couldn’t have any other work due to COVID-19 restrictions. I was in the crew for 4 months, in peace. I was looking into and experiencing the character carefully."

On the day of the interview, the Q&A part about acting was the most ‘unrestrained’. Every time we throw out a question, we would always get a powerful and resonating reply. From the perspective of a bystander, you could feel that he is the kind of person that is shining in his professional field.

At the end of every drama/ film, he would choose to leave that environment, and go out to have fun for few days. "I’m not insisting that I need to disengage from the drama/ film, I just want to relax, return to myself, return to Zhang Zhehan’s life."

"So, when you’re looking at Zhou Zi Shu again now as a viewer, do you have any different sentiment?"

"Of course, I would think of the funny parts and incidents. A lot of interesting bits that I’ve added in myself, you can see it in the character." Fortunately, as an actor, he can also feel the happiness that ordinary viewers have.

In our conversation, the words that he mentioned the most were 'gentle yet strong'.

"I really like netizens' comments that Zhou Zi Shu is gentle yet strong."

"The quality that I admire the most now is gentle yet strong."

"I feel like now I want to be like Ah-Xu, someone who is gentle yet strong."

"I want to be like Ah-Xu, become a bit gentler."

He thinks this seemingly contradictory combination is very interesting, "strong describes a person who is strong, whereas gentle is soft. These two words may seem to have no connection, but when they’re put together, it’s also a perfect connection."

"I didn’t feel this way before. I used to think people have to be strong, powerful, how can you be gentle yet strong? I think that’s something I need to learn now. This person must make everyone around them feel comfortable and think of others, but at the same time he/ she is also an individual who’s very strong and full of capabilities."

"Like water, it’s like this when it’s calm, it’s like that when it’s surging high."

He used as many hand gestures as he could as he wanted to express what’s on his mind as much as possible.

Gentle yet strong, this is what he saw, felt from Zhou Zi Shu, and it’s also the character experience he most wants to leave behind.

"Speaking of what hasn’t changed for 11 years, is that I’m still acting; speaking of changes there are a lot. All these years of experience, it became my understanding of each character, in contrast, 11 years of acting experience allowed me to learn a lot from my characters."

To him, every big or small character he had in the past 11 years is a mutual encounter, he gave something to the characters, and the characters also left him with something.

Those who have seen his acting praise him that he truly understands Zhou Zi Shu, so we asked how he could stand in the perspective of Zhou Zi Shu to understand his words and actions. He doesn’t think that it was understanding, it just naturally happened.

"I didn’t deliberately try to understand him, I think what he did was just following his heart, that’s how I feel, so that’s how it should be. I would ask if it was myself, can I do that? Is it acceptable? If I think it’s ok, then it’s right. If I think it’s unacceptable, I will definitely tell the director - 'I don’t want to act this way.'"

"I read another book today, the main idea is the most important thing for people is to know themselves. Know yourself, know what kind of person you are, then you will know the world. You need to learn how to reconcile with yourself, learn how to communicate with yourself, tell yourself when you need to keep going, when to compromise, when you need to understand, when you need to be strong… you need to keep being yourself and convince yourself at certain times."

Meeting Zhou Zi Shu, to Zhang Zhehan is also the process of meeting and knowing himself. "But I’m probably not as mighty as Zhou Zi Shu," he laughed.

He thinks that he’s not at the age of looking back, the things that have happened, just let them go. "There’s nothing to remember in particular, there’s nothing memorable. And my occupation, a lot of people will remember for you, they will remember your good, remember your various moments, so I don’t need to remember. What I need to do now is to live well, my current life, future life, and get into the next role."

"When I can’t act anymore, I think I will look back more."

Now, he wants to challenge a new area, "I really want to act in movies, act in more movies. 40 episodes of acting and 2 hours of acting are different, condensed acting is the quintessence. I still need to learn how to act well in the 2 hours."

And "I hope I can be a director one day."

The beautiful scenery in spring is as deep and wide as the sea, it’s fortunate that we get to meet.

"My occupation, many people will remember every moment of yours."

"Immerse into my next character, and live well - that's what I need to do now. "

Translation by: KIMMYYANG

325 notes · View notes

pippytmi · 3 years

Note

Howdy! For the little au trope prompt ask. 2, 2, 39. Supercorp please. Thank you! (Hope it helps your writer's block!)

Everyone knows that when the Quidditch season starts, rivalries begin.

As a general rule, Lena doesn’t mind the Gryffindors. If she had to pick a house she hated, the Slytherins would be the unfortunate lot; Veronica Sinclair and Andrea Rojas alone give the group a bad name. (That could be Lena’s own personal bias, given the fact that both girls have broken her heart, but she maintains it goes far deeper than that). But the point stands—Lena isn’t a hateful person. Generally.

There is just something about Kara Danvers that brings it out of her. The one and only Gryffindor that Lena despises is that moronic, reckless Chaser who scores nearly every single goal she takes. The Ravenclaw team is nothing to sneeze at either, but Lena hates that of all people to throw her off her game, it is a girl who blew up her broom when attempting to fly on it during her first year. Seven years that she has known Kara, and still Lena is annoyed at the mere sight of those perpetually-askew glasses, those untucked robes, that undone tie; Kara Danvers is never expected to be poised and perfect, even with all the expectations on her shoulders. She’s just so...blasé. People talk about Kara like she is destined to join a Quidditch team straight out of Hogwarts and all Kara does is stroll into the Great Hall on game day with her head in the clouds.

So far up the clouds that she apparently can’t watch where she is going, either. Lena throws Kara the nastiest glare she can muster when they just about knock each other’s heads together, but all Kara does at the sight of it is grin. She always grins, not in a way that is arrogant or snide, but stupidly amused. Stupidly amused, as if everything Lena says or does is a bloody laugh, like Lena’s simmering hatred is nothing more than an inside joke.

“Hey, Luthor,” Kara says cheerfully, and there she goes, pushing those crooked glasses up her nose. There is a scratch on one lens, and Kara has either not noticed or not bothered to repair it. “Trying to take out the competition a little early, even for you.”

“You were the one in my way, Danvers,” Lena replies tightly.

“Was I?” And here is the kicker, that golden girl charm that fools everyone: bright blue eyes peeking out beneath those eyelashes, hand rubbing at the back of her neck, undone tie slipping an inch further. Kara tilts her head unassumingly as if that is even an actual question.

It makes Lena furious. “Here’s a tip,” she says, “for here and the Quidditch field. Maybe if you got your head out of your ass, you could actually see where you’re headed.”

Kara has the audacity to look affronted. “Is this because of the Brainy incident during training? Because he and I agreed that it was a joint effort. Joint…blame. Whatever you call it.”

Lena rolls her eyes. “Just keep your aggression to yourself, Danvers,” she mutters, and then she resolutely brushes past. She has no time for blank, witty banter, especially when this is the year’s first game and she has a team to rally.

“My—? Hey,” Kara’s voice rings out, louder than necessary, and that idiot is actually following her. “Hey, wait. Lena. Do you seriously think I’m aggressive? It was an accident! Both times!” A beat. “I mean both the Brainy thing and right now. I didn’t knock into Brainy twice. I did knock James off his broom once, but you probably don’t care about that since he’s not from your house, so…well anyway, just so you know, that was also an accident.”

“I have zero interest in your training squabbles,” Lena says exasperatedly, “and you’d do well to keep that in mind.”

“Oh so this is about the Brainy incident,” Kara says. “How many times do I have to say that the training pitch was ours?”

“According to you,” Lena counters. With that she whirls around, nearly colliding into Kara’s chest, but she still manages to lift her head up high and stare down that egotistical jackass. “I know you might think you’re entitled to any space you waltz into, but some of us mere mortals actually schedule training sessions. You know, like we’re supposed to.”

“I did schedule the—!” Kara has a tendency to become flustered mid-argument, it seems, because her mouth opens but no words come blustering out. Finally she settles on scowling when she declares, “You are a piece of work, you know that? Would it kill you to apologize to me once in a while?”

“That would imply that you have apologized to me at some point,” Lena scoffs. “Which you haven’t, for the record.”

“Yes I have,” Kara is quick to disagree.

Lena crosses her arms; it’s a challenge, and Kara immediately stands a little straighter when she notices. “Oh?” Lena prompts. “Like when?”

“Like…when I knocked into Brainy.”

“I fail to see how I fit in that scenario,” Lena says, “since you didn’t break my nose.”

Kara gives a little huff, as if this back and forth is all so inconvenient right now; as if she hasn’t instigated it. “Okay, but I apologized for disrupting your practice, remember? I took complete responsibility even though it was your fault you couldn’t keep track of when your team was scheduled—”

“That was not an apology. You literally said ‘Sorry Luthor, we need this more than you do’ and then refused to leave for the next half hour!”

“But I said sorry in there, ergo, it is an apology.”

“Well then, when my team beats yours to dust I’ll be sure to apologize properly for that in that exact same sympathetic manner,” Lena sneers.

Somehow, trash talk only makes that dumb, signature Kara Danvers grin come back, completely wiping away any sign of vexation. “Oh yeah? Tell me more, wise old Ravenclaw—”

Before Lena can even begin to dissect that childish comeback (and stupid sing-songy imitation of the Sorting Hat), other students come filtering down the hall and they are practically swept up in the masses. One kid completely shoulders Lena before she even realizes what’s happening; she stumbles to the left, nearly collides with the wall, and opens her mouth to shout, but then:

“Hey!” Kara is already brandishing her wand with one hand and catching the boy’s collar with the other. “Ten points from Hufflepuff! You could’ve hurt someone, walking around without looking where you’re going.”

Lena bites her tongue to stop from making a quip on how ironic that statement is, because Kara is engrossed in a stare-off with the pimply sixth year who is demanding to see her prefect badge to prove Kara can even take points. She would normally side with the kid—anything to knock Kara Danvers down a peg—but, well. For once, Lena can’t be bothered to actively hate someone getting into a heated argument on her behalf.

Two minutes later and the boy stomps off with ten points gone from his house and a detention to boot. Kara, meanwhile, is still frowning as he leaves. “Are you okay?” she asks absentmindedly, still tracking the kid’s every movement with her eyes. “I swear, if there weren’t so many witnesses I would’ve hexed him.”

“Winning move for a prefect, I’m sure,” Lena says dryly, and Kara turns towards her with that slow-growing buffoonish smile and another sheepish nudge of her glasses. Her next words kind of just fall out, almost as if she’d never formed them in her mouth but in the deep recesses of her subconscious alone: “You know, you confuse me.”

“Huh?” Another nudge. The smile slips a fraction, but just enough to show Kara is slightly confused by the change in subject.

You confuse me, Lena wants to repeat. You are the opposite of self-aware. You are messy, and reckless, and selfless whenever it counts and it’s confusing because all I can really hate you for is being able to get away with being imperfect and still be adored by everyone.

But none of those words, thankfully, leave her head. All she says is, “Your approach to discipline confuses me. It’s not like he purposely tried to run into me—ten points might have been too harsh.”

“This coming from the girl who once threatened to curse me into oblivion for tripping her when we were twelve?” Kara’s eyebrows shoot up. “Who are you and what have you done to Lena Luthor? No, hold on, I know. You’re really Jess in disguise, right?”

“Hilarious, Danvers. I wouldn’t quit Quidditch, it might be the only place you’re suited for,” Lena mocks, but all Kara does is laugh.

“Nope, definitely Lena,” Kara says, and the way she says it is almost…fond. Come to think of it, Lena can’t remember a time where Kara actually called her Lena. It’s always Luthor and Danvers and stop breaking the faces of my best players and never—never anything else.

Lena clears her throat and looks away; she can’t take another second of those warm, bright eyes. “Whatever,” she says. “I…guess I’ll see you on the pitch.”

“Sure thing,” Kara says, and she takes a step back, tucking her wand into her pocket. “I’ll be the one rocking the winning team uniform.”

Slowly, Lena begins to feel the corner of her mouth twitch. Completely unbidden, completely unpredictable. “Dream on, Danvers.” She allows the space between them to grow, but their eyes remain locked, and the air feels heavy—thick—and the weight of their shared gaze holds a meaning Lena can’t possibly unpack right now.

But Kara’s tongue pokes out between her teeth cheerfully, and she doesn’t appear half as bothered by this development. “Always, if you’re in them,” she says, twists a little on her heel to walk away, but she pauses while she is still in earshot. “You know—next time you can just thank me for defending you.”

“You mean abusing your power as a prefect,” Lena replies automatically even as her head is running a mile a minute; even as Kara is getting farther and farther away and the scratch on her glasses lens catches the light.

“That too!” Kara shouts as she gets lost in the crowd, and damn her, Lena has to put her hand over her mouth to hide the absolute idiotic smile that has formed on her own face.

(Joint blame indeed, Lena muses, and she figures that she might as well form a rivalry with the Slytherins instead of the Gryffindors after all).

#this is both a threat and a reminder that im still working on these #😌😌😌#supercorp #supergirl #bisexualgoof #i need a fic tag #disclaimer that i still do not know anything about hp #im doing more research on harry potter than i do writing smh

130 notes · View notes

becomingbts · 3 years

Text

Time heals (sometimes) - Teaser 1

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the burning spotlights and the applause and the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she believed to be broken.

Pairings: Y/N x OT7

GENRE: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series.

Ask or comment to be tagged!

Warnings: The series is going to be heavy with a lot of personal experiences mixed into the fiction, so this is going to be kind of therapeutic for me. Please, consider not reading the series if you are not comfortable with: abandonment issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self-harm (not descriptive and only part of MC’s past), suicide thoughts (in the past), toxic behavior, toxic and abusive relationship (in the past), depreciating self-talk and low self-esteem, a lot of curse, physical and mental pain, near death experience situation (in the past), and maybe smut scenes (happy ending though, but it will probably be quite the ride).

NOTE: I was thinking of “Moonchild” and for some reasons, some memories I’d prefer to have forgotten came back to my mind and instead of making a full-blown panic attack like I used to, I thought that it would make a great plot if I mingled that with a soulmate and idol verse and that’s how I started going into it. This is going to be loaded with personal experiences, even if they’ll probably be a bit differently explained compared to what I experienced. Despite the heavy themes and many warnings, I hope you guys will like it. I think I really needed to write it. It will be a semisocial media AU!, because I like the idea of being to write some of their conversations through texts. However, I do plan on fully writing most of it. Though, you’ll have some updates about their social medias as I will update their profiles soon after you see this. I will probably mix a lot of different media for this story such as songs written and produced by myself. I’ll upload for real MC’s EP. So expect a lot for this story. Please take well care, feedback is always very warmly welcomed, it helps me to write for real. If you need to talk to someone, my dms are always opened and if you really don’t feel well, please call urgency numbers.

Thank you for reading,

-Dolly

"And we will close our night show with the most awaited segment! The audience jumped during the commercial break, it's amazing how many people just joined us! Welcome to our interview segment and especially, welcome and thank you so much for being with us Moon!”

"Of course, thank you for having me on your radio show."

"Thank you for coming! I have to mention that this is your very first interview with another media than your usual personal platforms like Vlive, YouTube, or Instagram, so we are honored to be the first ones to greet you! Do you plan on making more activities outside your personal schedule for the promotion of your new album?"

"If I may be honest, not really. I'm the most comfortable in my own safe zone and I tend to try not to get out of it too often. It might close some doors to me but I'm comfortable with my fans that way. However, I often listen to this radio show and a lot of my fans were enthusiastic about that so I thought: why not."

"Ah, thank you so much, it means a lot! Your fans are indeed a strong community and they support you whether you go to TV shows or not. Besides, you've been a very active artist on social media and your whole career started on YouTube and SoundCloud before you signed to your current agency. We have to congratulate you on your journey! It's barely been two years but here you are, with your second EP 'People'! Congratulations on the release!"

"Thank you very much."

“For our listeners who might not know who Moon is, I’m going to introduce her to you: Moon, your real name is (Y/N), you were born on August 4th, 1998, Incheon and your mother was American so you pursued your studies in America. You have been taking online classes since the start of your career at the HULT, university of Florida, and even recently got your Business Bachelor, now aiming for a Ph.D. You started your journey on Youtube, uploading covers and vlogs until you finally started producing your own songs, releasing them on Soundcloud. You started gaining a lot of followers; thus, you started on other social media such as Twitter or Instagram. One year ago, you release your first EP called ‘BALANCE’ which is the reason why the music label BigHit reached to you and asked you if you wanted to sign with them. Did I get everything right?”

“You are. It feels like you know my life better than I do.”

"Ah not at all, but thank you, I am glad that I didn’t say something wrong! Would you mind sharing the concept of this EP? Many of your fans probably already know but maybe some of our daily listeners might not!"

"Of course. As you said, 'People' is my second EP, yet the first to be studio recorded. Signing with BigHit is a big step in my career and it created a lot of changes, hence I decided to focus on the people I have met, stayed with, became close to, or detached myself from… This is dedicated to the people who changed my life, whether they intended to or not. It could be interpreted as my social life diary in a way."

"I see, many of your fans have said that the album held a very distinct duality, with a bright and a much darker side that made quite the storm on social media. ‘Y/N our Moon’ and ‘MOONISBACK’ trended for a few nights on Twitter. Do you have anything you'd like to say about that?"

"I guess it was a surprise because this mini-album is really raw and uncensored. I didn't try to sugarcoat it nor to romanticize my experiences. I hope it brings comfort to people who haven't been feeling well. Because I think that it’s always easy to say that it's going to be okay to someone who’s not feeling well. Everything doesn’t suddenly become okay. And it's fine to be hurting, you can learn to live with this pain and move on while still hoping for better days. There is no end to hopes, and this is why my EP has a brighter side to it. Not everything is always a vast cold ocean. Sometimes, there are small or big waves that come crashing into our universe and they form something that we couldn't have imagined. They bring a little piece of sunshine in life and it helps to move on. So I hope that people who are struggling know that, despite how insignificant I might be, there is a person that understands and can relate to their struggles. I hope it can comfort them, even just slightly, to know that they are not alone."

"That's a beautiful way to put it."

"Ah, thank you."

"I have to ask because I'm really curious and I’m definitely not the only one: a lot of your fans have been theorizing about who could your title track ‘TIME’ be about? I have to ask you on the behalf of everyone. Is it okay for me to break the mystery?"

"Time is a track that shouldn’t have made it to the EP. It’s a bit like a fit of personal anger that I didn’t know I needed to let out.”

“Your anger was definitely heard and understood. People have been curious about the addressee of the song especially because of the line ‘maybe it’s time I finally let go of you’. So can you tell us who is it about?”

“Uh...Time was written for my seven soulmates who rejected me years ago."

"Seven!?"

"Yeah, it's a lot I know.”

“Is that why you have covered your soul mark with this tattoo on your arm? Netizens talked about it a lot; normally idols tend to cover their arm from the public eyes to avoid for their soulmates’ names to be known, but instead, you were proudly showing your tattooed arm, fully covering what might be under the ink. Many people assumed that it meant that you didn’t have a soulmate at all.”

“Well, I decided to cover the mark because there was no reason for me to keep it without hurting myself. I decided that I have been hurt enough to let myself take a rest. I didn’t see the point in hiding my arm either, I’m proud of my tattoo, I mean; it’s really a beautiful piece in my opinion. But to answer the assumptions, I don’t consider that I have soulmates anymore, hence why the tattoo as well."

"This is really a heartbreaking story, it must have been extremely hard. Breaking a soul bond is immensely dangerous, my link with my husband already itches when I spend the day away from him, so seven soul bonds? It must have been terrible."

"It was, but the most important is where I am now. I'm not lingering on that anymore because they made their choices and I thus made mine. I just hope that they all are healthy and happy where they are."

"I have to say I'm really impressed (Y/N)-shi, you really have a delicate and caring soul. I probably wouldn't be able to have such soft words about your soulmates had I been in your shoes."

"I think living the actual experience made me reflect on myself a lot. I'm comfortable where I am now, I'm able to do music and make what I love. I have nothing to complain about, I'm surrounded by lovely and supportive fans, I have the best manager I could have ever hoped for and a warm and healthy family. I don't need more on my side."

"I'm glad you are happy then. Many of your fans have pointed out it's really hard to make you smile and some wonder if you are happy, especially after the release of ‘TIME’, I don’t blame some of your fans for being worried."

"Ahhh, is smiling the only way to prove that we are happy? I believe my words are usually a bit more impactful than my facial expressions. I have to admit that I don't often smile, it's not a bad thing, at least I don't think so, but I just don't feel the need to smile when I don’t feel like it. Besides, I get shy easily when I expose my emotions too much."

"It's hard to imagine you being shy but at the same time now that I have you in front of me, our listeners cannot see you, but I definitely feel that you have a very shy and reserved aura despite the energy you give off when you are on stage. It’s not unfriendly either, but you’re just very soft-spoken and quiet in everything you do. Like when you came in, I barely heard you entering at all; you’re just silently making your way without a fuss, it’s really endearing, to be honest."

"Ah... I’ve been told that my stage persona and the ‘me’ in real life were two different entities but I don’t really think it’s true. I'm extremely introverted and it doesn't really mix well with the stage. So I just put it on the side for the people who came to see me and deserve to see more than a 24 years old woman who has troubles speaking without stuttering in front of other people."

"You stutter when you have to speak in front of other people?"

"Sometimes it happens when I’m nervous, and I’m very often nervous. Like right now, I’m extremely nervous. But it's something I'm working on."

"Well it's definitely paying off because I couldn't sense that you were nervous at all, just very calm and soft, but I wouldn’t be able to imagine you being nervous enough to stutter."

"A lot of artists actually have stage fright, most of them just don't want to admit it because it doesn't sound sexy when you tell your fans you're actually shaking before going up there for the show."

"This is very true, but it's refreshing to hear it from someone who actually lives through that rather than fan theories."

"That's understandable."

"Our time is coming to the end, do you have anything you would like to add before we sadly get our mics taken away?"

"Oh uhm, everyone, my new mini-album 'People' came out very recently and yet it already received a lot of love so I want to thank you for that. This EP was a very personal project and I was worried about how it would be welcomed but you all made me realize that I have nothing to fear because we'll always find someone who can relate to our stories. As long as I can help even one person with my songs, then it's enough for me. Thank you for listening to me and my voice. I hope we'll be able to meet soon. Love you my fans and non-fans as well, please take well care of yourselves in those times. Be careful and stay safe. Wear your mask!"

“Thank you so much Moon for being with us tonight. Our time was short but I really enjoyed it, I hope our listeners were able to feel that very warm presence of yours through the mic. ‘Give Me A Song’ of Moon’s EP ‘People’ will now be playing and we will see each other tomorrow night with IU for the release of her new album LILAC. Take care!”

Comments or Ask to be tagged!

Uploaded : 08/04/2021

261 notes · View notes