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theglitterypages · 3 years

Note

Hi! I’m a new follower so i’m not quite sure if you accept requests now but if u do! i have this request that i think would be really nice!

I just read ur one shot called “behind the scenes” and i literally fell in love with it! I was thinking if you could do a sequel or part two where levi and reader talk about what he said in the interview and come to terms with their feelings for each other and then he says that they will take it slow and court reader properly.

After that, they would have like cute moments together like, she goes live on ig or such and he join and then flirts with her through the comment section 😆🥰 they have like small dates. And then when they film again for the next season, the other actors will ask what’s the deal with the both of them and Levi says he’s courting reader ><

Just a thought hehe i hope you have a great day!

Title: Behind The Scenes Part Two

Pairings: Levi x fem! Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3000

A/N: Hello darling, I'm so sorry it took me so long to respond, I've been a little busy in cleaning our house these days and I'm trying to spend less time using gadgets that's why I rarely find time to write. Anyways, I hope you'll like this one. This is not proofread so Expect many errors, I will edit this in no time. Thanks for requesting dearie💗💗💗

Read Part 1 Here

°°°°°

“Let's see each other next season! Good luck on your upcoming projects especially you Miss Marvel!” Zeke walked towards you and hugged you tight.

The whole cast just finished eating dinner, it was a dinner filled of laughter, the whole cast talked about the days on set, the silly things and other stuffs. Throughout the years of filming attack on titan, every one became each other's best friends and every time the filming are finished it's kinda sad because it will take time before you guys start filming together again.

“Goodnight everyone!”

Levi guided you towards the parking lot, his car was parked beside Eren who's now opening the door for Mikasa. “Drive straight my sister home, it's late.” Eren nodded and saluted to Levi before he climbed up the car and drove off.

Levi, on the other hand also opened the door of the car for you before he entered the car himself.

••••

“Thanks for driving me home, Lev. Do you want go inside for some tea?”

“It's fine, I don't wanna keep you up. We barely had enough time to sleep these days because of the promotions and stuffs.” Despite of saying that Levi is still standing in front of you, his eyes are full of hesitation and he kept opening his mouth just to pursed his lips together again as if holding himself back.

You are holding yourself back as well, you wanted to talk about what he said on the interview, you wanted to make things clear but you're too scared to do so.

Levi is a man who's hard to read, you wouldn't know if what he's saying is for the sake of fun or it is because he meant it.

Maybe he said that because you two are good friends, right, that's the only logical reason that popped into your mind.

You smiled fakely, trying to hide your disappointment to the fact that he's not gonna say anything, you get ready to turn your back on him to go inside your house but Levi suddenly held your hand, causing you to look back at him with wide eyes, “W-What is it?” you stammered.

“I mean it.”

“You mean what?”

Your heart is beating so fast, you're suddenly wondering it is because of Levi or it is because you have a heart problem.

Levi sighed and squeezed your hand gently as he looked into your eyes, he prepared himself a lot of times already but why is he getting afraid all the time?

He wanted to say it, say that this is more than just a friendship, that this is more than a job, that what he's doing is not a publicity stunt but he's tongue-tied. His mind went blank the moment he met your gaze, everything that he practiced before all of this has gone into the abyss.

But if he won't take a step forward, he'll always be at the same place and he wouldn't want that.

“I like you—no scratch that, I'm in love with you.”

“We had no liquor earlier so you can't be drunk. I have no times for jokes right now Lev.” you wanted to say that you like him too but what if this is just a joke? Can you afford to lose the friendship you to has?

Levi took a deep breath before he slowly nipped your chin and leaned down, his lips almost touching yours. “I know this is ridiculous but I..fell in love with you. At first I thought it was just because I'm portraying a man who's possibly in love with your character but as time passes by, I realized I'm not portraying Levi's feelings anymore.” he closed his eyes and gulped hard, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he do so.

“On Erwin's last day on shoot, I've realized that my remaining time with you are short and I realized that I'm not ready to let all of this end just like that.”

Flashback

“Okay so Levi you'll be choosing between Armin and Erwin, you know what to do just show us that you're heartbroken without obviously doing it and then once Samantha and Hanji came in look at Samantha with a face of relief, because in this scene Levi is glad to see her alive.” Levi nodded to the director, the make up artists put more fake bloods all over his face and when he sat nearby Erwin, the latter opened his eyes.

“Come on, man. Loosen up, the camera's not yet rolling.” Erwin smiled, Levi is a passionate actor and he gives his best in his craft, this series for example, Levi doesn't have any stunt doubles, he learned martial arts for the role and he did great portraying Levi Ackerman.

“Lights, Camera, Action!”

The scene went well and everyone cheered since this is the last day of filming for Erwin's character, Armin immediately hugged his older co-actor, Jean and Connie did the same while Mikasa and Sasha are clapping and smiling at the production team.

You and Levi are standing side by side behind Erwin, “This is sad.” you commented while Levi sighed beside you, “Imagine what my old guy feels.” Levi told you referring to his character in the series, you shrugged your shoulders and walked towards Erwin to hug him.

“You're the best, Commander Erwin.” you smiled and did the salute in the series before chuckling, “Shinzou wo Sasageyo!” you told him and the other actors heard you, everyone started doing the salute and shouted, “Shinzou wo Sasageyo!” Erwin looked around and smiled at everyone.

“Oh come on! It's not like I'm real dead, it's just my character.”

That wraps up the filming that day, while everyone was busy taking pictures with Erwin because this is his last day, Levi remained watching the whole cast from afar.

His eyes landed on you as you cry hugging Erwin, telling him that you'll miss working with him.

That was when Levi had come to realize that once this series is finished, he will never be ready to share the last moment on and off screen with you.

He's been working in this industry for a long time, not all friendships formed in work could last after a project is done, that was one of the reason why he's doing his best not to get attached especially in leading ladies but right now, for working so long with these whole cast it is inevitable to be attached to someone so similar to him yet different in other ways.

A small smile made its way across his lips as he see you laugh with the casts as you stood beside his sister.

One thing has come to his mind at that moment, he will never be ready to let you go.

End of Flashback

“I don't want to pressure you or anything. We can take it slow, I'm ready to court you properly, I haven't done any of that before but I'll do everything...let's just give it a try.”

All you could do was stare at him, blinking slowly as you tried processing everything he said, it was surprising to see him tremble like this, you can feel how cold his hands are and how his eyes are glassy because of the tears forming at the corner of his eyes.

“Well...I like you too but we'll take things slow, right? I don't want any of us to be hurt.”

“I understand—wait, what? You like me too?”

“Should I take that back?”

“No!”

You yelped with surprise when he hugged you tightly, his arms wrapped around you as he whisper sweet nothings on your ear.

“Levi it's too tight.” you giggled and he immediately pulled away, his cheeks are red so are his ears, he's cute with that blush but the way he smiled at you makes you feel like you've won the lottery, who knew you could see the Levi Cold Ackerman smile like this?

“I promise, I'll do my best.” he told you before pressing his lips on your forehead.

••••••

“Miss Y/N? Ahm the show asked if you could go live on Instagram to entertain the fans and inform them that you'll be in the Night Show.” you smiled at the staff and took the tablet in her hands since you'll be using the show's account to go live.

You started the live while your hairstylist is still fixing your hair, “As you guys can see my beloved hairstylist is not yet done fixing my hair, I will be at the Night Show! Oh my gosh I don't know what to say next, I'm just gonna read the comments.” your hairstylist laughed at your silliness and took a glance on the screen before turning her attention back to your hair.

“Okay, @ynsupremacy says she's been waiting for me to appear on the show. Oh thank you very much dearie! I've always wanted to be here too thanks for your support.”

“Oh my gosh take it easy babes, I can't read everything in just one go.”

You scrolled through the comments and sees a familiar username, “Someone deadass spammed the comment section you guys, Levi you little bastard stop spamming. Let my babies talk to me.” you narrowed your eyes at the screen before reading Levi's comment.

“I can't believe Angels go live on Instagram, says @captainlev.”

You looked back at your hairstylist after hearing her read Levi's comment, you blushed and she laughed at your reaction before shaking her head. “What? I was just reading. Nice on Captain Lev!” she smirked at the camera before looking back at you.

“I'll be back in a minute.” she said before walking out of the room.

You could still see Levi's comments but you did your best to ignore it so you could talk to your fans. “Hello @erenlegalwife happy birthday! I'm gonna tell Eren that it's his legal wife's birthday.” you chuckled. It's amusing to see their usernames, the comments are also hilarious but there are some bashers in the comments. You didn't mind them and just proceeded in interacting with your fans.

Another comment was shown but before you could even read it someone covered your eyes and you squealed, you removed their hands off your eyes and when you looked back you gasped in surprise.

“You kept on ignoring my comments, meanie.” Levi smirked as he opened his arms, asking for a hug and when you're too slow to hug him he's the one to walk towards you and hug you tight as he laughed loudly. “I scared you big time didn't I?” he teased.

You hit his back and pullled away from the hug. “God, I hate you.” it's been two months since you two confessed to each other, just like what he said, you two are taking it slow.

You guys are going out on dates from time to time yet there's no official relationship status, you didn't need the label actually, you're sure Levi wouldn't break your heart or anything, you just want to enjoy every time that you're with him.

“Okay, Levi will be joining us too but believe me I have no idea that he's a guest as well.” you told the fans as they ask you in the comment section.

“Figured I gotta surprise you, it's much better this way right?”

“You told me you're filming for that movie, big liar.”

Levi laughed and pinched your cheeks gently, “Sorry, I just want to surprise you.” he smiled sweetly and you looked away, blushing. “Pft. Never mind...” you bit your lower lip and scrolled through the comments but Levi already read something out loud.

“Ooh... @levisamlover says ‘you two look good together, just date already’ thank you for that. I also think that we look really good with each other, thanks for supporting my claim.” he smirked.

••••

“Are you sure you're fine with us just having a date at home? Well you probavly don't wanna let the press see us.” Levi asked as he wrapped jis arms around your shoulder, pulling you close to him as you two watch a movie.

“Hmm, nah the press has been seeing us two a lot but I don't care, I just want to stay close with you like this.” you told him, hugging him sideways, Levi chuckled and kissed the top of your head before feeding you some popcorn.

In the middle of the movie, Levi looked down on you just to see you asleep with a pout on your lips. He chuckled to himself and he slowly scoop you up being careful not to wake you up. He carried you towards your bedroom and he lay you down on the bed gently.

He smiled at your sleeping form before kissing your forehead. “I love you, do you know that? The day's ending yet I'm still 'ere falling in love with you again and again, deeper and deeper at every moment that passes by.” he took his phone from his pocket and took a picture of you, it became his new hobby, he's not the type to love taking pictures before but now that he has you, he wants to capture every moment.

He wants every moment to be saved, so he can go back to it every time that he misses you.

••••

“Nice job YN! Another action stunt beautifully done!”

You let out a sigh of relief when you're done filming your part, you guys are filming Eren's fight with the War Hammer Titan, along with the Survey corps fighting scene.

When you've finally done your part you immediately sat on the floor, feeling drained because of the insane stunts you had to do.

Levi was quick to hand you a bottled of water, he also naturally took his handkerchief out of his pocket to wipe your sweats, technically it is your PA's job but Levi was way faster than them.

Zeke and Reiner who just got finished their parts too, laughed at the scene because your PA was standing awkwardly as she watch Levi steal her job. “Man, I can't be the only one feeling that something changed with this two.” Zeke smirked nudging Reiner's sides, the latter hummed to agree before flicking his eyes on you and Levi.

“He's not even using his trailer anymore. He's with her all the time, Levi is acting sus.”

“Not to mention the fact that they kept on stealing glances all the time.” Hanji appeared behind the two holding her phone in her hand as she captures a photo of you and Levi laughing together. “Once we caught 'em in the act they'll spill the beans, believe me.” Armin who just finished filming also appeared holding his bottled water.

“I have a plan.” Hanji smirked deviously.

•••

“What, you're telling me to flirt with YN? Mikasa, I don't want to get killed by your brother.” Eren complained when he found out that the plan that they were thinking was getting Levi jealous so he would spill the tea.

Mikasa glared at Eren and smacked the back of his head. “Just do it, we'll be here to do something once he attempt to kill you.” Eren stared at her unbelievably before looking at his older brother. “Why don't you tell Armin to do it?” Zeke pushed his glasses up his nose before shaking his head. “Nah, Armin is like her son, Levi won't get jealous but you, a fuckboy would appear as a threat.” Zeke explained and everyone agreed.

“Man you're the one who flirts like a Seahorse.” Armin told him.

Eren narrowed his eyes, unable to understand Armin's sentence. “What do you mean by that smart-ass?” he growled.

“Seahorses flirts a lot, you're just like them.”

“I hate you all.”

Zeke got impatient of his brother's drama and he immediately pushed him towards your direction, the poor man almost landes face flat on the floor if you weren't able to grab his arm.

“Eren!” you gasped and helped him up, when Eren got up his face is pale, he smiled awkwardly and looked back at his brother to send a glare on his way before looking back at you. “You look beautiful today, YN.” he complimented.

You were taken aback by the sudden compliment so you just smiled before tapping his back, “Thanks, you look handsome today too, nice stunts by the way.” Eren looked around and he sees no traces of Levi so he loosened up a bit.

“I was just wondering if you'd like to have some coffee, there's this new coffee shop nearby and I've heard they have nice coffee.”

“Oh yes su—”

“She doesn't like coffee.”

Eren wanted to run when he heard Levi spoke behind him but he had no choice but to look at him, “Hey Lev! What's up?” Levi raised his brow to Eren, he didn't respond to him and went to your side as he glares at Eren.

“Play nice.”

“What am I? Your dog?” he whispered and you glared at him. “I'm just saying that you should act nice.” Levi crossed his arms over his chest and let out a deep breath. “I am nice.” you shook your head and massaged the bridge of your nose, there's no point in calming a jealous Levi.

“Ohohoho! I see what's happening here! Seems like sugar plum and captain grumpy is hiding somethin' eh? Spill it. What's with the possesiveness and lovey-dovey moments?”

Levi's eyes widened for a secons before he looked away, his ears and cheeks are red. Zeke's teasing smirk tells him that the man already know something, Hanji, Mikasa and Armin's stares are also meaningful, it seems like they're pressuring him to give an answer.

Levi clicked his tongue and acted cool as he looked at his co-actors and sister.

“I'm courting her, got any problem with that? Flirt with her again and you're done, Yeager.” he held your hand and dragged you away from the group while Zeke and Eren's laughter boomed at the whole set.

“YEAGERS! QUIET!”

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whimsicallyreading · 3 years

Text

Eight Second Ride

Part Three-

(Part Two)

“So you are telling me-“ Aedion scowls from the other side of her bed, “you ditched me for a sweaty bull rider and didn’t even last an hour into the date?”

Aelin shoves a spoonful of cookies and cream ice cream into her mouth and sniffles. “That’s all you got from my story?”

He slings an arm over Aelin’s shoulders and she lays her head on his chest gratefully. She’d caught an Uber back to her apartment where Aedion was already camped out waiting for her.

One look at her mascara smeared face, and he’d made a pillow fort on her bed. Complete with ice cream and “Little Women” playing on his phone.

“No, I got the whole chauvinistic asshole, bit.” Aedion stabs his spoon into the container and breaks up a particularly large piece of Oreo. “I just decided to focus on the part that doesn’t make me want to leave you hear and go and kill him right now.”

“I thought cowboys were supposed to be classy.” Aelin watched Jo play with her sisters in their attic on Aedion’s tiny screen. “Take city girls into the country to ride a horse and show them a bigger purpose in life, kind of shit.”

“Hallmark is such a liar.” Aedion huffs and squeezes her shoulder a little tighter. “I’m sorry, Lin. I know going out tonight was a big step for you. It’s a shame he acted the way he did.”

It was rare Aelin acted on a whim these days. Not like she used to do when she was in high school. She felt a pull to go with Rowan, but her gut had led her into a situation that could have gone south very quickly.

It’s a hard thing when you can’t trust yourself.

“No. I shouldn’t have gone. Especially not alone.” Aelin’s feels her thoughts drifting. Creeping towards that iron box of memories she keeps locked tight. “It’s my mistake.”

“No.”

The fervor in Aedion’s voice draws her attention up to his face, and Aelin is jarred by the intensity of his expression. “Aedion-“

“It’s not your fault.” His voice is gravely, and his blue eyes flicker like the heart of a flame. “I don’t give a shit what that bastard thought you accepting his invitation meant. You don’t owe him sex because he buys you a drink.”

“Aedion-“ Aelin tries to interrupt again. A new wave of tears burns her eyes, but Aedion is on a roll and he isn’t going to quite down until he gets out what’s on his mind.

“You don’t deserve to be treated like an object that can be bought.” Aelin can’t look him in the eyes any longer, but a calloused hand guides her face to the crook of his neck.

“His friends are shitty. He should have made them shut up. Ogling you, and making you feel unsafe and uncomfortable aren’t funny jokes.” Aedion goes on as Aelin sniffles into his shirt.

“You deserve respect. It doesn’t matter what you are wearing, what he buys you, or what his expectations are. His behavior isn’t your fault.” Aedion whispers against the top of her head.

Aelin wraps the arm that isn’t squished under her, around his waist. “I love you, Brother Wolf.”

“I love you too, Fireheart.” Aedion kisses her forehead and tugs her closer, the old terms of endearment are exchanged between them with ease.

“I know you are still dealing with everything that happened a couple years ago. I’m happy to remind you how worth it you are whenever you need.”

Aedion was an island of safety in the turbulent ocean of her life. Even when Aelin was small, she’d often go to him before her own parents with her problems. He was steady, and calm. The exact opposite of her own personality.

After the incident, he hadn’t rested until she was safely at his side again. Aedion stood by her faithfully as she picked up the broken pieces of her life and held her hand as she tried to make something new from them.

“How come you already had this movie downloaded onto your phone?” Aelin teased lightly, trying to lighten the mood. “Did you suddenly develop a sense of taste?”

Aedion purses his lips. “Lysandra said this movie is, and I quote, the most accurate depiction of the female experience.” He shakes his head. “I’ve tried to watch it three times, and I still can’t figure out what it’s even about.”

“You are a simple minded creature, cousin.” Aelin grabs her spoon and scoops a melty bite of ice cream into her mouth. “Thank you for coming over.”

“Anytime, Lin.” He leans his cheek on her head as the scene on his phone shifts from the cooler grey tones of the present, back to the warm colors that represented better days. “Anytime.”

~~~

The day started off better than she expected.

Aedion was gone when she woke up- he had to rise at an ungodly hour to make it to the fire station on time.

Yet, he set her alarm clock for her so Aelin woke up in time to get ready for work. He’d also set a glass of water and an Advil tablet on her bedside table to curb the headache she was sure to have from crying.

Aelin made it out the door with enough time to stop and get coffee on the way. She even splurged and got a chocolate hazelnut Frappuccino with enough sugar to smooth her wounded feelings.

It was going so well, Aelin should have known it was the universe winding up to screw her.

It was only a couple hours before she closed shop when Lorcan Salvaterre stepped through her front door.

“Holy shit, it’s you.” Were the first words from his mouth. His dark eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Rowan is going to flip when I tell him I actually found you.”

“What are you doing here?” Aelin’s slammed a stack of books on the counter.

Lorcan looked pensive. “Rowan said you mentioned owning a book store-“ he drags a hand through his dark hair. “I felt like I ruined his chance with you, so I thought I maybe if I apologized-“

“Let me stop you there,” Aelin didn’t bother looking at him as she labeled books and organized them into stacks. “You didn’t ruin anything, you didn’t help, but he screwed up all by himself.”’

“He realizes that,” Lorcan quickly defends, his voice gruff with irritation. “If I can give him your number I’m sure he will grovel for himself.”

Aelin rolls her eyes and slides another stack to the end of the counter. “You don’t get it.”

“Get what?” She can tell he’s losing his patience with her. Lorcan’s remorse only went so far, apparently.

Aedion’s words from earlier rang in her ears as she repeated them back to the man. “He was overbearing the entire time. Had double standard opinions about my life, and disrespected my boundaries.”

Aelin watched as Lorcan shifted on his feet, itching to say something but obviously refraining. Measuring his words carefully he looked her dead in the eye. “Look. He was just trying to impress you. Rowan doesn’t go out often. Don’t you think you are blowing this a little out of proportion?”

Red. Aelin saw red. Tasted it. Like iron in her mouth. Or maybe that was just the blood from biting her tongue so hard. “I’m working right now. You don’t strike me as extremely literate, but I have to ask for you to either buy something or leave.”

Lorcan glowered at her. “Fine.” He turns to walk out, but Aelin hears him call her a bitch under his breath.

Just then, Elide walks inside the shop doors. A backpack slung over her shoulder, finished with her classes at Rifthold U and prepared to work the evening shift with her.

Aelin is relieved for the interruption and about to take full advantage of it, when the small, brown-haired girl catches sight of Lorcan and beams like a rutting lighthouse.

“Lorcan! I didn’t know you were coming into my work, what a surprise.”

Elide. One of her best friends, runs up to the six-two tower of misogynistic cow boys and flings her arms around him. Hugs him.

Ellie she recalls the name being thrown out last night. She hadn’t put two and two together. Ellie was a common name. Of all the people in this city it had to be Elide, Aelin mentally bemoans.

She wonders if Elide knew how her cowboy behaved when she wasn’t around.

It doesn’t matter. Lorcan is all too aware of Aelin’s eyes boring into his skin, and knows he needs to make a quick get away.

“Ellie,” Lorcan pulls away from her. “I just had to see this book shop you are always talking about.”

He kisses her head, and looks at her with feigned remorsefulness. “I must have gotten your shifts mixed up in my head, though. I’m afraid I have to go. We booked a training time for six and I need to brush down Nettie before we start.”

“Oh,” Elide says, a look of genuine disappointment on her face. “That’s fine. Are we still on for a movie tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he promises. He pecks her one more time on the lips and tips his chin towards Aelin. Anger still bubbling in his eyes. “Good day, ma’am.”

Aelin releases a breath when the doors close behind him.

“I’m so sad I missed him.” Elide frowns, tossing her back pack behind the counter. “At least you got to meet him. What did you think? He’s absolutely dreamy, right?”

Aelin chokes back a gag. “Yeah. He was really charming.”

“And get this,” Elide smiles. “He’s a cowboy. Like an actual, real life cowboy. He rides pulls and does team roping. It’s sexy.”

Aelin can’t hide the grimace this time. “You are like my baby sister. I never want to hear the words sexy from your mouth again.”

At least, never in the context of Lorcan. They’d had plenty of boy talk before.

“He even carries a rope.” Elide wags an eyebrow. “Better to tie me up when we-“

Aelin holds a book over her face. “I’m not listening to this! I will file a report with HR.”

Elide laughs. “You are the boss, Lin. You know we don’t have an HR.”

“I need to get one now,” Aelin grumbles. “I don’t need an image of yours and Lorcan’s naked asses in my head.”

She wanted Lorcan out of her head entirely. Along with Rowan and the rest of their cadre.

“Fine,” Elide sighs wistfully. “One day you will be in love and I won’t hold it against you when you want to talk about whatever babe you wind up with.”

Her eyes get a mischievous glint. “Actually- Lorcan has some really cute friends. I could set you up with?”

Aelin’s brain banks. “No. No thank you. I like being alone. I’m more than enough company for myself.”

“Come on, a double date would be fun!” Elide whines and tugs on her arm. “You never go out any more. We could have a great night out.”

An image of the twins cutting lines on the bar flash across her mind and make her shudder.

“I said no, Elide.” Aelin says a bit more harshly then she intends, but Elide gets the point and backs off.

“Sorry. I won’t mention it again.” Instead of anger she looks at Aelin worriedly.

She kind of hates that more.

“Thanks.” She shakes her head and tries to clear the residual stress from her head. “I have to set up a new shelf display. Want to help?”

Elide lights back up at the prospect. She loved designing and organizing. They have a great time setting displays up together and Aelin knew it would take her mind away from the tension she’d created.

She just really hoped that Elide dating Lorcan wouldn’t drag any drama into her own life. Aelin didn’t care what half asses excuses Lorcan made, she wasn’t interested in seeing Rowan again.

Hello! I’m so glad I got this posted today. 😂 I’m hoping to get the next chapter of DRNS out tomorrow. After that, my birthday is next Tuesday and I reaaallly want to do a mass update of all my fics then as a hooray to 21. (Yes. That is what I’m doing for my 21st 🤣) Hope you enjoyed it!

Tag List- (Let me know if you would like to be removed or added!)

@charincharge

@westofmoon

@jorjy-jo

@classyclodranchparty

@morganofthewildfire

@ashleymariegriffin

@wordsxstars

@sjmships

@rolltide7

@surielandiareendgame

@jlinez

@rowaelinismyotp

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sophlubbwriting · 3 years

Text

Shifting to your arms - 03

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Summary: This is a slice-of-life series where you, the reader successfully shifted realities with the goal to spend time with Loki. Nothing too intense.

A/N: I didn’t have that much time to write this week, but I finally finished editing it (an hour to late, hope you don’t mind).

Feel free to shoot me a request and I'll see what I can do!

Taglist: @gingerspicetalks @adoreyou976

Feedback is always appreciated!

Chapter Summary: A nightly meeting with the god of mischief and an intense discussion after a mission briefing where you finally come clean.

Chapter warnings: slight angst, spiders, Loki being Loki

Word count: 1871

One might think your muscles would get used to the way they are strained by the training with Loki, but your muscles decided to be sore and stay sore. Great way to be woken up.

The sun was nowhere to be seen yet, the dim light entering the window however was alluding to its already anticipated arrival.

Turning around in your bed again, your back felt like it was stabbed – which has woken you up and was almost, what had happened yesterday. The god of mischief figured it would be a great idea to show you, how to defend against an attacker who uses knifes and, of course, he never even considered using dummy-knives.

“I would never do so much as to wound you fatally, mortal.” he had assured you and oddly enough, you had believed him. You had to. Everything the god of lies told you sounded true, albeit might be caused by his velvety voice. Somehow, he had been picking up on the effects it had on you. Ever the observer.

As you struggled to stand up, you let out a heavy groan. For as much as you wanted to just sleep it off, you deemed sleeping as impossible. Not with muscles this stiff and not with how much you usually moved while asleep.

With every step you took your thighs stiffened. Stretching might seem like a good idea, but you already knew it would hurt like hell and quite frankly, you didn't have the energy to try it. You've heard somewhere, magnesium would help with sore muscles and as for now, you were more than eager to test your hypothesis.

Usually stuff like that is kept in the kitchen, right?

The oversized T-shirt you wore instead of a regular pyjama reached just above your knees, concealing not only your body shape but being unbelievably comfortable too. Who in their right mind would be awake in these ungodly early morning hours anyway? Changing clothes now was no use.

While the magnesium tablet was dissolving in a glass of water, you saw a box of cocoa powder just waiting on the top shelf above the stove. It towered there, tauntingly, staring down at you because it knew you weren't able to grab it.

A hot cocoa mix. That's what you needed right now.

Determined, you took a step back and looked at the situation in front of you. There was one rather obvious solution to this:

Climbing.

Your legs were protesting, but you didn't care. You needed that cocoa. Maybe that's the tiredness speaking, but you couldn't live another moment without it. Hot chocolate.

You checked twice that the stove was both turned off and cold, so you wouldn't accidentally burn yourself if you happened to step on it and proceeded to swing a leg on the sideboard. Your shoulders were burning, but you didn't stop as you slowly pushed yourself up. You couldn't let the box win.

Once you managed to balance yourself out and fully straightened up, your eyes were barely below the surface, the box was prominently placed on, but that wasn't an issue. You, unlike the box, had hands, which you would put to use now. Reaching out, you snatched the box and inspected it. After reading all the nifty details from the back of the box, you wondered what the artwork on the front would look like, but you weren't able to look at it.

There was a huge spider, clinging to this side of the box.

Frightened you threw the box away from you and stepped backwards, only to lose your footing on the sideboard. Bracing for impact, you closed your eyes.

But nothing happened.

Confused you slowly opened your eyes back up. There he was, your deus ex machina. His face being mere inches away from your face, the god had hold you in a close embrace to stop you from falling. This in and of itself made it hard enough to keep your composure, but the following conversation only heightened the stakes.

There it was again. That damned voice.

“Oh my, are you falling for me?”

Together with his smirk, this was a deadly combo which short-circuited your brain.

Your thoughts raced faster than you could control them. I have been ever since I first saw you. You wanted to let him know, how you felt.

But you couldn't.

Instead, you opted for a cheeky grin and for the line “you wish”, although in all reality, you were the one wishing. This was torture, being this close to someone you wanted to be even closer with but not being able to be.

What if he would reject you? What if he wouldn't feel comfortable with you being around him any more? What if...

He carefully set you back down on the floor, almost as if he was afraid to break you if he were to drop you too harshly. You were still gazing into each others eyes, lost in the moment and although the spider should have scared you wide awake, this magical moment felt like a dream.

Being lost in his eyes, you stopped taking in anything else but Loki. You didn't notice how soft raindrops were clashing against the windows, you didn't notice how the sun was rising or how bright it had become.

And you most definitely did not notice, how the scary spider was dissolving into green mist.

------------------------

After Tony had laid out your mission, you didn't quite know how to react. You were being sent on a real mission, together with the god of mischief. Just the two of you, only 48 hours left to prepare and your thoughts were racing.

Meanwhile, Loki looked unfazed by the mission, although he shot you a quick look. He knew you were capable of defending yourself and others, but attacking someone else was something different. Whenever you had tried to surprise him with an attack during your training, he had told you how you weren't ready just yet.

You had to think about possible excuses, not to go on this mission. Tell them the truth? You weren't sure how they would handle it. Would they call you an imposter? Imprison you? Besides, a literal god would be fighting right next to you. Everything would be okay.

“You seem rather nervous, my dear. Is everything alright?” The god of chaos averted your attention back to the conversation.

He spoke with the same nonchalant tone he used if someone different than you was within earshot, but if you weren't mistaken, there was a hint of concern hidden behind it this time. Before you could calm him down, the rich kid chimed in.

“Opposed to you, Reindeer Games, our sweet agent here has been on multiple missions similar to this already. It should be smooth sailing, even if you decide to turn on us and abandon both the mission and your partner.”

Oh no.

You saw over to Loki whose smirk was filled with amusement as he was declaring to Tony how he would never betray anyone in his life. He would soon realise something didn't add up. How could you have been on multiple infiltration missions without being able to fight?

At least you didn't have to make an effort and control your thoughts around him any more. Whenever there had been a small thought you weren't able to contain, he didn't seem to notice it, so why try to keep up a facade if no one would even realise it was there?

You left the room while Tony was still trying to threaten Loki out of betraying anyone. Your feet lead you to the gym where you planned on meeting the god of mischief once got bored of talking with Tony and you anticipated it to take five minutes, tops.

After spending some time beating up a punching bag, you heard someone walk in. You didn't have to turn around to know it was him.

“Explain yourself” the voice demanded harshly. He didn't even try to sugar-coat his words, he was disappointed. Probably hurt.

But you couldn't confront him with the truth, could you? You weren't ready, so you feigned innocence.

“What do you mean?”

It was no use. As you turned around and saw him standing there, visibly sad. He knew, although not everything. He knew you lied to him and that was enough to break both his and your hearts.

Loki didn't deserve this.

“You know exactly what I mean.” he looked like he barely kept himself from crying, but his voice was now steady and... cold? Now your heart felt like it was being shattered. “How have you done multiple missions, some of which were solo, despite being barely able to fight? What is the truth, mortal?”

Gone were the pleasantries you were used to, gone were the words 'darling' and 'my dear'. Now you were just called 'mortal', one of many, easily exchangeable to him. You never thought words this small could hurt this bad.

“You wouldn't believe me.”

That was all you could mutter now, the only thought consuming your mind. He wouldn't believe me. The god of lies however insisted he would believe you, provided you told him the truth. This was your last chance to come clear and you both knew that.

“I-” you started insecurely, looking left and right in hopes of finding the right words to use somewhere in the room.

“I am not...”

Your eyes were slowly filling up with tears. This was harder than expected.

“I'm not... from here.”

In a poor attempt to hide your tears you looked down at the floor, but you were sure he saw them since one or two drops managed to fall from your eyes onto the floor.

“Neither do I”

This simple response made you chuckle, what in turn calmed your nerves. You looked up again and your eyes met his. Maybe he would understand.

“I mean... I am not from this reality.”

Silence. Loki didn't ask any questions, but you were sure he had plenty. Who wouldn't?

Fidgeting around with the seams of your shirt, you decided to elaborate a little bit more. “It is... kind of a long story which I feel like I couldn't explain properly, but I managed to shift realities so I can be here.” A heavy weight was dropped from your shoulders as you proceeded to tell him about how life was in your reality and, most importantly, how the Avengers are non-existent.

The last part caught Loki's attention and he thought for a few seconds about it. “So, am I just a mere work of fiction, too?”

You hesitated with your answer and he noticed. Of course he did.

“In... in my reality, yes, but in this reality you are very real.” You gave him an encouraging smile and he nodded understandingly.

“I think therefore I am. So, my dear, why did you... shift realities?”

His prying eyes saw right through you, it was almost as if he already knew the answer. He just wanted to hear you admit it.

“I did it so I could see you, Loki.”

#loki x reader #MCU loki #loki odinson #Loki Laufeyson #loki #x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #shifting to your arms #sophlubbwriting #tom hiddleston #shifting #loki mcu #mcu #mcu imagine #loki fanfic #fanfiction

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imagine-loki · 3 years

Text

Blushing in His Colours, Chapter 19

TITLE: Blushing in His Colours CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 19 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki being a Daddy Dom, his adores and loves his little, worships the ground she walks on. She has vaginismus, but he couldn’t be more supportive with her. RATING: M

Mia thought she was going to die, she was too scared to move as she sat curled up on the floor, shaking in fear. She wished she was braver, able to try and get out. But she didn’t know where to begin, what to do.

The Hydra soldiers were constantly on patrol on front of her. There were Hydra modified soldiers too, lurking around the warehouse. Not to mention the ten massive hybrid werewolves prowling around outside, they were bigger than the Hulk!

She wasn’t sure how long she had been there for. But suddenly there was noise from outside. The sound of shouting from some soldiers and snarling from the werewolves could be heard.

Then she heard them yelping, like they were being attacked.

The soldiers inside all paused, listening to what was going on too. They turned to the doors, ready with their guns to attack. The modified soldiers got into position, ready to pounce.

Screaming and crying was heard from the soldiers outside. A lot of gunfire and then utter silence…

Mia’s heart was pounding against her chest, eyes wide as she looked around the doors. Was this someone coming to save her? Or was it something worse than Hydra?

Suddenly all of the doors burst open and there was a bright green light shining in. The soldiers started blindly shooting, and Mia screamed in a panic when she saw Loki coming through the nearest door. But the bullets were just going right through him as he continued walking in.

She looked around in surprise as she saw Loki coming in every door.

Illusions.

She felt instantly relieved, hopeful that he would be able to save her. But she also felt scared for him too, there were so many soldiers and super soldiers. He was completely outnumbered. Not to mention the werewolves, and there were more coming as she heard a soldier near her call for back up.

But Loki wasn’t fazed at all.

Suddenly the real Loki just appeared on front of her. He threw her cape at her, then ran back into the action.

She wrapped it around herself, but made sure she could still see what was happening. She remembered Loki telling her before how it was bulletproof. But she was worried for him, what if he needed it?

Mia panicked when the soldiers did start firing towards him. But her eyes widened as Loki had a luminescent green sphere form around him, shielding him from the bullets.

Then he started levitating off the ground, giving him an advantage to see everything that was going on.

But what happened next, made Mia go into shock.

He raised his arms up and brought them down quickly, causing the ground to ripple, knocking the soldiers out. Then he opened up some rifts in the dimension, and with a flick of his wrist sent the soldiers flying through them into another realm before quickly closing it up again.

Five hybrid werewolves came racing into the warehouse, but Loki was ready for them.

He blasted the first two with his energy blasts. Killing them instantly. The next two he simply took hold of by using telekinesis and sent them sprawling out of the warehouse and far off into the distance, along with some more soldiers who came bursting in.

The last werewolf was running straight for him and as he leaped into the air to pounce for Loki, who was still hovering ten feet above the ground, Loki stopped the werewolf easily in mid-air. The werewolf looked utterly confused, but Loki then literally crushed him with his mind. He made him curl in on himself and broke all of his bones before tossing him down to the ground in a heap.

A few remaining soldiers started running away, but Loki didn’t allow them to escape. Before they got out of the building, he conjured up a gigantic snake on front of them that devoured them whole.

When Loki came back down to the ground, he looked up and saw a drone hovering above the building, through the glass roof. His nose scrunching up, he took it down with a simple thought of his mind.

But he knew the damage was done now. It had been recording everything live, straight to Facebook. His true power was now out there for the world to see.

Loki didn’t care though. He turned around to look at the only thing in the Universe that he did care about.

Mia.

As Loki approached her, his heart sank to see her cowering. She looked utterly terrified and small, so vulnerable, wrapped up in his cape.

He had his helmet disappear, to try and look less threatening as he crouched down on front of her.

‘Mia… Sweetling, it’s me.’ He said softly, reaching out towards her.

Loki saw the fear in her eyes slowly disappear, recognition appearing instead. She then let out a big breath and lunged towards him, straight into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her and held her closely to him, kissing the top of her head repeatedly.

‘Oh my little sweetling. I was so worried, I thought I’d lost you.’ His voice was shaky.

She just cried into his neck, so relieved that he had saved her. He rubbed her back soothingly and stood up straight with her in his arms.

‘Did they hurt you?’ He asked, cupping the back of her head and leaning back slightly to look at her face.

She shook her head. He smoothed her hair back from her face and wiped her tears off her cheeks with his thumb. Then he kissed her forehead softly.

‘I… I’m sorry… I didn’t… know… what to do.’ She cried, still unable to stop herself from shaking.

‘Do not apologise, sweetheart. It’s my job to keep you safe, and I failed you. I allowed you to be kidnapped. I can’t apologise enough.’ Loki felt his heart breaking.

She shook her head and clung to him tightly. ‘No… you didn’t. Wasn’t your fault. But you… you saved me.’ She said through tears.

‘Of course I did. I wouldn’t leave you, Mia. Ever.’ He said determinedly.

‘You… you’re so powerful… I had no idea.’ She said quietly, still in shock at what she had witnessed.

Loki smiled a little. ‘Nobody did, my sweetling. But there was no way I was taking any risks with your safety, I was not going to hold back.’ He assured her.

Keeping a tight hold of her, he carried her out of the warehouse that was half down anyway from the fight. Mia kept her face buried into his neck, to avoid seeing the carnage. Loki had barely taken a step outside when the rest of the team appeared.

‘You’re a bit late to the fight.’ Loki hissed at them.

‘What the…’ Steve trailed off as he looked around at all the dead bodies.

A quinjet landed behind the team, Fury came storming down the ramp and held up a tablet. It was showing the video of Loki’s fight. ‘You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, Loki.’ He glared at the God.

The team looked between one another, completely bewildered.

Loki breathed in deeply, not happy with the situation. But at least Mia was safe again. That was the main thing.

#Loki #Lover #Submitted fic #submission #Blushing in his colours #chapter 19 #fanfichiddles

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hansolmates · 4 years

Text

vernon; blossomed (m)

feat. tattoo artist!vern x flower shop fem!reader based on nonnie’s big brain

genre/warnings: flangst, lang, wild generalizations of how tattooing works, gratuitous love for side characters, mild drinking, phineas and ferb references, mild foreplay

word count: 12k

Vernon called you his Rose.

Not exactly his Rose, because you were definitely not anyone’s property and he wanted to give you nothing but your full autonomy, but it’s because he’s never had the chance to ask for your real name.

But when he first spotted you in the little lavender and honey colored flower shop across the street, you were tending to the rose bushes at the front entrance. You were cutting roses and you didn’t look utterly graceful, in fact you stabbed yourself more than once with the thorns. He couldn’t help but laugh when you laughed when your co-worker had to hand you a new bandage every minute.

He decided then that he liked you, even if it’s not wholly sexual or romantic, he liked you.

Or maybe he just liked the idea of you, the way you’d lounge around in the canopy swing with your boots tucked under the seat, fluffy yellow socks wiggling out in the sun. Sometimes you’d read a book, sometimes for well over an hour. He liked how you soaked up the heat and created your own little world, happily unproductive.

It was only a seven meter walk from the flower shop to the tattoo parlor, but the view from his front window required zero walking distance and a sure-fire lack of ever bumping into you.

“Vernie’s got a crush on the Flower Girl,” Yoongi sing-songed, chugging along a box full of random-ass materials that Vernon was supposed to clean in the morning.

Vernon scowled, and swatted away the older one’s hand when it dived in front of his face.

Yoongi whistled like he was an old-time animation, singing the day away. “Vernie’s stalking his crush.”

“I’m not stalking,” Vernon snapped, swiveling around in his rolling chair. “that involves shit like literally following her around, photography, I dunno, being a weirdo?”

“You definitely qualify for one of those.” Yoongi replied tartly, and he fought the urge to grin when Vernon finally turned back to the window, only to narrowly miss your form. The swing was now unoccupied, the only thing remnant were your working boots lined up against the entrance. “It’s been what, two weeks? Just ask her out already.”

“You think I would’ve done that by now if there wasn’t a reason why?“

Soooo you were dating someone. Some super tall, super handsome guy would stroll up to the flower shop every morning, coffee in hand. Before you’d take your proffered coffee, he’d pucker his lips for a good-morning kiss in repayment. Vernon looked back to Yoongi, who was staring right back at him and confirming his suspicions that yes he was being a fucking weirdo for paying attention to things like that.

Yoongi pressed his lips together, puffing his cheeks out in slight irritation. “So you’re stalking a taken girl,” he whistled lowly, “should I regret hiring you?”

“Not funny.”

“As repayment for effectively creeping me out,” The older one slipped his hand into his electric yellow windbreaker to twirl Vernon a ring of keys. “You’re closin’ up for tonight.”

The brunette’s jaw dropped to his lap, and he got up from his spot by the window. “What? What happened to Minghao?”

“Sick,” Yoongi shrugged.

Closing up meant that Vernon had to stay until 12AM, at the very least. The area was off a college town and that meant a lot of young lucrative artists would stop by pretty late, hence the closing time. Usually Yoongi and Minghao were the night owls, but tonight Minghao was supposed to fly solo because Yoongi landed a last-minute recording gig. “C’mon, can I at least close early?” Vernon whined, “it’s summer. No one’s here.”

“What, ya gotta date or something?” Yoongi smirked, swinging the entrance open. Halfway out the door, he added loftily, “don’t forget to water Patricia. It’s been two weeks.”

The door slammed and Vernon was left alone. He spared a glance at the window, only to see that your boots were now gone from the patio and only one light was on in the shop. Vernon turned to his company for the night, their jade succulent, aptly named Patricia Planty.

With Patricia Planty watered and a stomach full of Wendy’s nuggets in his body, Vernon busied himself up for a grueling five hours. Thankfully he brought in his laptop, as if he were expecting Yoongi to pull a fast one on him tonight. He drew some random things on his tablet: rockets, stars, the occasional squirrel, and roses. When he was tired of drawing, he’d blast the speakers off the joint and mess around with some of his music programming. When he was tired of doing both, he’d vegetate on the couch and read Reddit articles.

It was past eleven when the first customer of the night stumbled in. Vernon fought the urge to groan, putting down the pen of his tablet on a particularly intricate constellation.

“We’re closed!” He yelled through the office door. A white lie, but who would know?

“Google said you were open until 12!” A voice yelled back, sounding slightly strained.

Crap. Vernon lowered the volume and pushed away the swivel chair, swinging the office door open. With a rough clear of his throat and hoping not to look like too much of a jerk, he faced his customer, “Welcome to Nu ABO—”

It was you. Cheeks ruddied, and your eyes glassed with a fresh glaze of tears. Your lower lip worried into a wobbly frown. Vernon’s Reebok’s glued to the concrete of the parlor, effectively stopping him in his tracks. The smell of mulch and a mixture of flowers penetrated his nostrils, but it did nothing to distract the utter hurt etched on your face.

“Um, hey,” his voice was gentle, yet unsure. “What are you doing here?”

You just looked at him, incredulous. Vernon could have sworn he saw your left eyebrow twitch. Of course, you’ve never met him in your entire life, yet Vernon felt like he knew you since the beginning of your summer work. “Gettin’ a tattoo.” You replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, rubbing away a stray tear.

He didn’t want to say it, but Vernon sighed and reasoned, “But it’s just that, ya kinda look—”

You brushed past him, going straight into the artist room and plopping on the worn leather chair meant for customers. It was still high up because Vernon was cleaning the underside of the metal, so you had to do a little hop to get on. “I don’t care what kind of design. I looked up your Yelp online and everything looked pretty good.” And you then proceeded to unbutton the top of your blouse.

“Holy shit,” he bounded over to you, grappling his fingers between your shirt before you could undo the rest of it. His breath was probably hot and heavy, compared to yours which was fresh from the cool summer air. Your faces were so close, closer than he ever fathomed. He didn’t think you two would meet this early in the year, as he was emotionally preparing to visit your flower shop at the end of the month, making up some spiel on how he needed to purchase real roses to replicate a commission. Not now. Now was a spontaneous episode, where he was trying to refasten your shirt and ignore the petal pink lace of your bra baiting his eyes.

When he sensed that you would in fact, stop taking your shirt off, he backed up. “It’s just that, after eleven we don’t really apply tattoos. We just take consultations.” He tried to sound defeated, rubbing the back of his neck. Again, another lie. But Vernon wasn’t about to ink you on the spot, especially when you looked like this.

“Is it because I’m upset?” You cried, “because I assure you, I’m in the right mind!”

He winced, lolling his head back and forth. “That’s debatable.”

You frowned, “C’mon, I have money. Just do me this one solid.”

“What? No, you don’t even know what you want!” Vernon was exasperated. Not that he imagined the first time meeting you would be a walk in the park, but at the same time he wasn’t expecting to argue with you.

"Don’t you want to be part of my spontaneous young life? Give me a tattoo that I’ll think about with my children 30 years from now?” He would laugh if you didn’t look like you were crying a river ten minutes ago. “As long as it’s not a tramp stamp, because I don’t think I can pull that off—"

"Did you break up with your boyfriend or something?” Vernon blurted out before he could regret it.

Your face morphed into something Vernon couldn’t understand. Pain, for sure. But a sort of relief knowing that you didn’t have to hide it. “Damn,” you give him a tired smile, “does the whole town know or something?"

You cried again. This time, Vernon reacted quicker. Pulling out a Wendy’s napkin from his flannel pocket, he proffered it to you. He was thankful you didn’t question whether it was clean or not (it was!) and you proceeded to cover your snot and tears all over it.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

You sniffled and blew a particularly large chunk of snot before you shook your head.

"Do you… want fries?” He gestured to the small table in the room, which had some leftover fries from his combo. “I can heat ‘em up in the microwave."

Due to the fact that you ran out of tissue room, you rubbed your face with the entirety of your sleeve. You peeked out mid-rub, and replied with a soft, "hell yeah I do."

His heart twitched. Even betwixt your teary expression, you were so freakin’ cute. He shuffled back to the office, nuking the leftovers in the microwave until they were piping hot. Vernon waited a bit for them to get cool, and fiddled with the music so a soft R&B playlist bounced off the walls. He couldn’t believe you were here. Scratch that, he could, because you were bound to run into him one day due to pure proximity.

But he didn’t imagine you’d be plopped in his artist room at 11:32, bleary eyed and shoving potatoes in your mouth.

Vernon busied himself with his phone, and typed a hasty you wouldn’t believe what just happened… to the employee group chat.

[June 11, 11:33PM]

Bo$$ man: dont tell me u put aluminum in the microwave AGAIN

Hao hao: the chinese mafia came for me, didnt they? good thing I called out

Jeonghan is a prick: use your resources! sharp items are everywhere :) emergency money is under Patricia’s table

Bernie: tf is wrong w all of you

Bernie: SHES HEREEEEEE

"M'sorry,” you mumbled with a mouthful of fries, breaking Vernon from his mid-text crisis. He felt his phone buzzing like hell as he shoved it in his pocket, but ignored it for the sake of you. Your previous high of emotions has long worn off, and now you were looking a little embarrassed as you fixed your gaze on the empty container of fries. Your face is blotchy and red, and you’re especially puffy due to the salt you just consumed. “I should go home."

He didn’t want to be intrusive, but the look on your face showed it was clear that you didn’t want to go home just yet. Drumming his fingers against the metal table, he casually suggested, "Why don’t I do your back?"

You looked at him like he was crazy. "You still wanna tattoo me? After I cried like an idiot and ate your fries?"

"You’re not an idiot for being upset. And I offered you my fries.” He pulled out an ink canister, and a thin needle. “This is temporary ink we use to practice, or for customers who wanna test out the look. Lasts one to two weeks. And y'know, it’s a nice distraction."

You looked skeptical, unsure of his kindness. "Why my back?"

He shrugged, "It’s the biggest canvas. And if you don’t like it, you don’t have to look at it."

Still, you’re not convinced. There was something strange about him, something almost too sweet. While your schema may be marred by television and movies, the man in front of you didn’t seem like he quite fit into this little shack. He’s full of color, in his eyes and in his stature, his words clean and pure as he tries to soothe your aching heart. And as much as you tried not to check him out, you spotted no tattoos on any viewable part of his body.

"And it’s kind of cathartic, really.” He watched your lips quirk up in a smile at the word usage. Not only sweet, but probably smart. Your first smile all night. Cheeks effortlessly heated, he continued, “you kinda just let go into the feeling. And it’s always fun to not know what’s been drawn until the very end."

You’re curious. There’s excitement in your vision as he gestured to the available cot, inviting you. "Alright. Ink me up."

Vernon grinned, and started preparing the workspace. Handing you a medical gown, he quickly shuffled away to prepare the ink and needles. He didn’t really work with the clients as deeply as this, he was really just a glorified secretary that took care of the consultation. While he washed his hands, he heard the faint rustle of fabric, definitely your shirt and bra. He turned up the temperature of the water, acutely aware of how hot his hands were getting.

"Um,” your voice is muffled from being pressed up against the cot, your face presumably propped with pillows. “So are you Yoongi?"

"Nah, I’m Vernon.” He wheeled over a cart full of supplies, the metal clanging against the concrete. “’M usually the guy who wipes the sweat off his brow."

You hummed your own name in response, resting your cheek in the plushness of the cotton pillow. There’s a number of sounds paired with the R&B in the background. The smack of Vernon putting on gloves, the click of the needles and the slickness of the balm Vernon has applied on your back. His touch was warm, as his palm crescents across your back to soothe the balm into your skin. He then wiped it down with a paper towel until your skin was smooth and dry.

"Any ideas yet?” He asked, and from the corner of your eye you see him switch out a needle for a new ink pen.

“Maybe, stars?” Your voice is muffled against the cushions, as you’re hugging them close to your body. “And maybe something inspired by Spiderman? I liked that new one with Miles, he’s a cool one."

You could hear the smile in his voice, "I liked that one, too."

You stuff your own smile in your pillow, how embarrassing could it be that this stranger can make you feel better so fast? Mingyu would be groveling if he saw you now, topless, letting a man ink you up in however way he wished. "Will it hurt?"

He chuckled at that, "Nah. The ink will sit on top and sink in, I barely have to apply any pressure. Just relax."

Under the discretion of Vernon, who offered you fries and liked Spiderman, you relaxed. The first stroke of the needle and you were a goner. You closed your eyes and let him do his thing, You couldn’t tell what exactly was going on through his mind as he was painting your back, but you could tell his art was rather cacophonous: stiff pokes here and there, smooth strokes, and wide breaths of ink staining your back. The ink melted into your skin, bonding to your cells under Vernon’s careful control.

It was almost 1AM when he finished. He tapped your back, urging you up. Tired, and slightly dazed, you sat up. You realized a little too late that you’re only wearing a thin hospital gown, the straps having fallen midway through the process. The air was cool against your skin.

Vernon totally would’ve gotten a complete view of your sideboob if he wasn’t blushing like a maniac and looking away, and you respected that. His arm is punched out, fisting your button down. You hastily snatched it away, and turned around in order to look decent.

“The ink won’t show up fully for another six hours, so until then let me know how you like it.”

“Thank you so much,” you smiled gratefully as you do the last button of your blouse, and pulled out your phone. “Do you accept Venmo or Cashapp?”

“Oh, yeah.” He accepted the proffered device, and put in the necessary charges.

Once he gave back your phone, you added a sizable tip to the price he typed up. “The time really flew by,” you noted the time on the corner of your phone, 1:07. “It was really, an experience like you said.”

He shrugged, and threw you an easy smile. “I try.”

"Can I get a real tattoo from you someday? Y'know, when I’m ready?"

"Ah, no. I’m not really under the apprenticeship.” He looked bashful when he said it, as if he were caught doing something wrong. “I just work here for the part time money. I do art on the side, though.”

You had the urge to ask what he doesn’t do on the side, but it was late and you were probably holding up the poor guy for your trivial questions. “Regardless, I’m still thankful it was you that did this for me.”

In three strides, he opened the small door for you. “My pleasure. Have a good night. Or, morning. Or if you’re one of those people who don’t consider it morning unless it’s light out, then good night?”

“Good night,” you giggled, “get home safely.”

“You too.”

The screen door slammed shut behind you, along with the main door. Your car is parked in the grass patching of the flower shop. You jogged over, and the summer air made you shiver, your back still raw and warm under Vernon’s touch.

You couldn’t wait until the flower shop closed.

If Wonwoo noticed that you moved the porch swing relative to the placement of Nu ABO, he hasn’t brought it up. You weren’t spying on Vernon, no. But your skin was starting to itch with curiosity and in your haste to leave last night, you didn’t even ask what he designed on your back.

“Are you stalking the tattoo guy?”

Despite the voice being petal soft, you flinched. Assistant Manager Joshua Hong with a bouquet of boat lilies, was accusing you of stalking. His Converse tapped rhythmically against the wood paneling, looking down at you like a guilty child.

“What?” you floundered, waving around the florist magazine in your hands. “Josh, I’m studying! And the sun was in my face so I moved the swing.”

“You’re studying,” Joshua flickered his eyes to the run down shack across the road. “The tattoo guy?”

“I already said I wasn’t!”

“Then you’re telling me you spent all last night doing that,” he reached over to tug at your starched work collar, “all by yourself?”

Your hand flew to your neck, as if you were trying to hide Vernon’s hard work. “I just wanna see what he did, all right? And I’m trying to be very patient until closing because if Wonwoo sees me going there,” you jerked a head none-too-gracefully at the direction of the parlor, “he’s gonna tell you-know-who.”

Joshua frowned, because he already knew. After all, he stayed in the back room with you all last night, wiping away your tears. “Well, whoever did it is truly an artist,” he said genuinely, “it’s beautiful.”

Joshua finally left you alone, and you suddenly felt emptier than before. Sure, the breakup with Mingyu was conventionally bad, but why were you so conflicted with your feelings? You didn’t want Mingyu to know you were hanging out with other guys, but you wanted to let go of him. Maybe you were trying too hard too fast.

But Vernon made everything so, so easy.

No, you are not letting him be a rebound. The inner conflict in your head was giving you a massive headache, you couldn’t tell if the vibes you were feeling last night were because of the recent breakup or just an authentic spark.

The storm door shuttered boldly, and you jumped. Wonwoo stepped out, and gave you a weird look. “You alright?”

“Me? Yeah, fine.” You gripped the collar of your shirt and pretended to fasten the buttons.

He was unconvinced, either that or the pinched look he was sporting was an indicator of a bad day. “Listen, I know things are gonna be weird because my best friend is your, y’know,” he trailed off, painfully trudging through this conversation as easily as trudging through quicksand. “He’s gonna stop by a couple more times during the week, doing me a few errands. So if you wanna take the week off, recalibrate before the the month ends, just let me know. ”

“Won, please,” you wanted this to end, “we don’t have to talk about this, alright?”

He awkwardly twirled around his car keys. “Alright.” As simple as that, he threw himself in his sedan and drove off, dirt brushing the pavement.

You glared at the dust cloud until his car was far from your sights, the mustard color blinding your vision. “Honestly,” you said to yourself, finally hopping off your swing into the direction of the shack, “he thinks I’m five and never experienced heartbreak.”

“Welcome to Nu ABO!” this voice was different, and you slowed your steps. It doesn’t quite have the husk that Vernon’s voice held, but definitely matched the energy. The boy stepped out, and his eyes sparkled in recognition. “Flower Girll,” he said to himself, and you suddenly felt like you got caught, “I don’t think we’ve met before.”

"We haven’t,” you replied warily at the pet name, “where’s Vernon?"

"Oh, he’s around.” The guy waved noncommittally to the air in the room, crouching his head to look down at you. He stuffed his hands in his black overalls, which covered a painfully bright rainbow tye-dye tee. “Curious to see Vern’s ink though. He’s only ever done small stuff.”

“I thought he wasn’t an apprentice.”

He flicked his wrist around to show you a beautiful line of Chinese calligraphy. "Keep the secret between us, ‘kay?” He winked.

“Minghao, leave her alone.” Vernon stepped out of the small bathroom hidden in the artist room, a white towel behind his neck. You took in his disheveled appearance. His face was red from washing his face, and he wore the same clothes from yesterday. “Hey.” He said.

“Hi,” you replied, “did you sleep here last night?"

"Uh, yeah.” Vernon rubbed at his neck again, and stuffed the towel in his backpack. “I usually do the morning and afternoon shifts, I covered for this guy last night,” he jabbed his fist in Minghao’s shoulder, “but still had to do my day shift.”

“So,” Minghao rocked back and forth in his boots, “why are you here?”

You suddenly felt self-conscious, and gripped your phone between your two palms. A little part of you was disappointed that Vernon was not alone, but another part of you was relieved. It helped slow down the pace of your feelings (feelings?) that was heading in a direction you were not anticipating. “I wanted to say thank you again for last night.” You coughed, and Minghao grinned wider at your explanation. “And I was wondering if you could take a picture of my back? I haven’t had a chance to look at it.”

He beamed, and you could tell he was happy that you wanted to document his work. “Oh, of course! I completely forgot last night.”

Vernon moved to grab your phone, but Minghao swiped a hand in front of him. “Can I take your photo?” He asked you, although the look in his eyes said that you didn’t have much of a choice.

Your cheeks burned at the sudden intrusion. “Huh?”

“I mean, have you seen this guy’s Insta?” Minghao scoffed, albeit playfully as Vernon mirrored your flush.

“What are you talking about?” Vernon exclaimed, thoroughly insulted, “my profile is tastefully abstract.”

“It looks like it was tastefully done by a three year old.” Minghao pulled out his iPhone, and adjusted the filters. “I’m doing you a favor here, Flower Girl.”

You looked warily at Vernon, who slumped in defeat, “If you’re going for that e-girl vibe, I guess Hao’s a better photographer.”

“Better than your pictures coming out blurry.” Minghao shot back, holding the camera to your face. “There’s no light in here,” Minghao glared at the singular window in their tiny studio, the sill decorated with a single jade succulent. “Got any ideas?"

Vernon shrugged, "You said I have the taste of a three year old, so."

With Wonwoo gone for the day, you realized that you did have an idea of where you could take a tasteful picture. The thrill excited and terrified you. You only wanted a simple picture to see what it looked like, but Minghao looked as equally as excited to see your ink. Maybe it was the fact that the art was fleeting or that Vernon was really that talented, but it encouraged you to offer the setting up.

"I think our greenhouse has plenty of light,” you gestured out the studio’s only window, which was in perfect view of the flower shop. “We should be closing up soon, so it’s free."

Minghao nodded approvingly, "We can try."

And with a hasty "be back @ 4:20!” sign taped on the front door to Nu ABO, the three of them walked across the street to the greenhouse.

You went in first, nearly bumping into Joshua who was bent over, pot in hand.

“Hey Josh,” you grabbed the keys from the front desk, “borrowing the greenhouse."

"Hey Josh,” Minghao and Vernon mimicked, who found it amusing that you just brushed by without an introduction.

You rolled your eyes, hearing them exchange pleasantries and bro fists. The plexiglass doors to the greenhouse unlocked with a turn of your key, the smell of heat and grassy rain hitting your nostrils. Joshua placed the pot somewhere, following suit as the boys were right behind you.

“Awesome,” Minghao exhaled, stepping further into the greenhouse. It was a small one, but comfortable enough for a couple patrons to browse around. “I’m gonna move around some plants if that’s okay, I gotta vision.”

Joshua looked a little frazzled watching Minghao talk to himself and start moving the settings around (“The hydrangeas don’t go there, are you crazy?”) and started helping Minghao move the pots and placements around. You and Vernon hung around the entrance, giggling to yourselves.

You tried to bump his shoulder, which didn’t even reach his. “So, what’s your Insta handle?”

He quirked his brows at that, “Why, so you can judge my aesthetic too?”

“No,” you replied, faking your shock. “I would never insult your taste!”

With a roll of his eyes he said, “Speaking of taste, since your shift is over and my shift is over,” Vernon rocked back and forth on his feet. “Wanna grab a bite?”

Something’s fluttering in your stomach, and you stomp it down. It’s an innocent invite, yes. Unfortunately it was not-so-innocent in your twisted mind knowing that you are still fresh from a breakup, yet your backed is marked with Vernon’s work. “You must be tired though,” you tried to reason, “you should get some rest, I don’t wanna bother you.”

“Not a bother,” he said immediately, “besides, I wanna ask you something.”

That got you curious. Before you had a chance to ask, Minghao was ushering you over, telling you to stand in front of a bundle of orchids. They’ve bloomed a Canary yellow, encasing you in a golden ring of flowers overlooking the terrace. The new friend has gestured for you to undo your shirt and he turned away in respect. It’s different with an audience and an expectation. You made haste to undo the buttons of your blouse, then your bra, throwing it aside. You felt the warm, moist air kiss your back, and you heard a low whistle coming from Minghao.

“Beautiful,” Minghao exhaled, “Vern, you’ve outdone yourself."

Beautiful. Vernon made you beautiful.

Your body was simmering, and you could do nothing as you let Minghao photograph you. You focused your eyes on a puddle dripping from a faucet in front of you, counting the seconds between each droplet.

“And, done.”

You shoved on your clothes, and felt extra awkward as you fumbled to reach for the straps of your bra. You nearly slipped on the puddle as you walked back to the boys, who were busy over Minghao’s shoulder.

“Super awesome,” Minghao handed you the phone brightly, “so much texture and feeling.”

The screen showed a halo of foliage that surrounded your bare back, blush orchids kissing the frame with color. Your work shirt bundled under your hips, and fell under your elbows to reveal a city sky. You were breathless, zooming in to capture every detail of the ink. A navy sky, blanketing buildings across your back in a diagonal, splaying from the bottom right to the top left. On the bottom, skyscrapers reaching for the stars.

If you zoomed in enough, you could tell that the stars were shaped like roses.

“I don’t know how many times I’ve said thank you in the past two days,” you started, causing Vernon to grin widely. “But thank you, I’ve never felt so beautiful.”

Vernon scoffed, “I didn’t do anything, I’ve only enhanced your beauty. That’s our shtick.”

You handed Minghao back your phone and thanked him. He then rushed off, saying he had to stay at the parlor since Yoongi was coming soon. Immediately, Joshua began putting back the plants in their rightful places. You and Vernon followed suit, starting with the smaller ones.

“So,” Vernon picked up a tray of succulents, “are we still on for dinner?”

Wide-eyed Joshua crept in-between the foliage, laughably appearing under a series of hanging plants like a madman. “Dinner?” he asked, looking between you two.

“Yeah man,” Vernon reached to pull Joshua away from the plants, “wanna come?”

Simultaneously disappointed and relieved, you let out a subconscious exhale. Joshua was coming, which meant that there would be no possibility for feeling weird (or catching feels), being awkward or fighting any oncoming feelings with Vernon.

"On Thursdays there’s this really good half-off sushi deal by my place. We can take out and eat at my apartment?” Joshua’s kindness was palpable at the offering of his home, and the both of you smiled gratefully.

Not more than two hours later, the three of you are bundled away in Joshua’s two-room, empty boxes of carryout stacked high. The television was playing reruns of Full House, the only source of light in the dim space.

“Are you gonna go home soon?” Vernon asked, and turned his head to the corner of the room. Joshua is cuddled up in the single couch, tucked in a wearable blanket with the armholes.

You shrugged, “I dunno. Usually I crash here for sushi nights,” you patted the couch lovingly, “This is my second bed.”

Vernon chuckled, tucking his feet under his thighs. It made him look impossibly small in comparison to how tall and lanky he actually was.

“So, what did you want to ask me?”

Vernon looked between his legs, as if he were trying to piece his words together. “Long story short, I got waitlisted at my top graduate school option,” he then pulled up his phone, revealing the picture of your back that was taken that afternoon, “but I was thinking that if I made a portfolio of this kind of art, it would really tip my application over the edge. Originally I was thinking of just sending my usual art, but it just popped in my head today while we were doing it.” He looked up through his eyelashes, wisps of copper looking expectantly at you. “If you’re comfortable with it, would you be my canvas?”

“Live art,” you surmised, “honestly, I’m honored that you would want me to be a part of something so big. You think I’m that good?”

No, you weren’t doubting Vernon’s art one bit. The fact that your back would be out on display for a bunch of strangers was unnerving, to say the least.

“Are you kidding?” Vernon zoomed out of the image, revealing the curve of your back and the generation of life reflected in the greenhouse. “This is wicked. You’re stunning. We’d make a great team!”

You felt your body heat at the statement. His presence was almost too refreshing, and you wanted to return the favor of helping you out last night.

“Lucky for you,” you shot a quick text to Wonwoo, “I’ve planned to take this week off.”

Over the course of the week Vernon wanted to do an artistic timeline of sorts, adding and retouching the already existing ink on your back until the canvas was full. It felt fulfilling, letting yourself become a vessel of success for someone. The following day, Vernon shot you a text revealing his portfolio, and said how excited he was to see you.

You met in the shack after his shift, and Vernon let you into the office and locked the door. You can hear the rap being played in the artist room where Minghao and Yoongi were working with a client.

The artist was muttering to himself as he invited you to sit at the couch. Something about whether he wanted to start from the “top-down” or “bottom-up.” Instead of contributing to his madness, you turned away from him and started shedding your shirt. Today was a plain cotton shirt, and you shucked it off and balled it in your arms.

No less than five seconds was Vernon’s hands on your back, and despite the warmth radiating from his fingertips, you couldn’t help but shiver. Vernon had explained that while he did a large portion of your back the first time, there was still room for growth and he wanted your back filled by the end of the week.

“Do you mind if I,” his hand hovered over your bra.

You shook your head, and with his thumb and forefinger he flicked off both your bra straps with ease. Your hands flooded themselves in the fabric of your t-shirt, which silently accepted your death grip.

“Sorry, do you feel weird?” He definitely sensed your lack of vocality, and put one strap back in case.

“I’m fine,” your voice is light, what else could you say?

“Whatever you say,” he hummed, and resumed his work.

You opt to take in the sounds. Minghao laughed about something in the other room, coupled with the zing of the needle. The music pulled to a stop and boomeranged back into a smoother arrangement.

“I think we’ll start from the bottom-up and build from there,” he then placed his hands around your waist, poking at the dive between your waist and your bottom.

There’s an unmistakable heat that pooled within you, which caused you to wring your shirt harder. It was going to be a long week.

By Wednesday, he was in your apartment, working on the sides of your waist. The day after every session, Vernon would take a picture of yesterday’s work and show it to you. A gummy grin would always take over his face, either proud of himself or happy that you loved the new addition.

Despite the fact that the only thing covering your body was a thin gown medical taken from the shop, every pore of your body felt unbelievably hot. You really shouldn’t be mixing alcohol on a Wednesday night, but Vernon was excited that he was halfway done with the project and it was time to be “poppin’ bottles.”

You felt a little drowsy as a result of that, but nothing terrible. Like he said, the feeling was cathartic.

“Aren’t you drunk too?” you murmured into your navy blue whale plush, “what if you accidentally stab me?”

Vernon laughed, and it shook the couch. You couldn’t see his face as he sat on the floor, getting in the crevices of your skin. He poked at your skin a little harder than usual, as if he were testing the possibility. “That’d still take a lot of strength.”

“You’d be surprised,” you sighed, “those little sticks florists use to keep the babies upright? Flat as a thumb and I still manage to impale tomatoes with them.” He doesn’t respond to that, and you’re left drowning in your own answer. You wondered if he truly thought you were a crazy tomato-killer, or was concentrated on detailing a particular patch of skin. “Can I tell you a secret?” you blurted, “honestly, I think flowers are beautiful, but I really hate working at the florist. The only reason I’m doing it is because Joshua really needed the help and he knew I wasn’t going to do shit until my city job starts in September.”

“Huh,” Vernon stopped, resting the heel of his hand on your back. “That’s funny. Explains all the cursing when you’re cutting roses outside.”

“You’ve watched me outside?” you grinned into your cushion, “creepy much?”

“Do you wanna know a secret?” Vernon blurted, evading your question with one of his own, “I’ve had the biggest crush on you since you came by in May.”

You tensed, and if Vernon noticed, he didn’t react. He kept on doing his business, marking your back with baby’s breath. It had to be the alcohol talking. If he drank at all, you couldn’t even tell because you couldn’t get up and he was strikingly coherent. All this time, and you didn’t even notice?

“You don’t have to answer,” he said, as if he knew you were strung speechless. “I just, wanted to say it. We’re cool.”

And you agreed, pretending to fall asleep.

Friday was around the corner before you knew it, and Vernon wanted to photograph the final piece where it all started. The greenhouse was devoid of human life at the crack of dawn, unless you counted Joshua who was asleep on the counter because he was the only one with a key that knew of your recent escapades with Vernon.

Vernon was just as tired as you are, but he was adamant about having the photo taken at dawn, as the first picture was taken in the late day. There was some contrived symbolism attached to it that you didn’t really understand, but you trusted his vision. Besides, your panda eyes wouldn’t be revealed in the photo, so you could master the art of sleeping upright while he took photos.

“Alright,” Vernon set up his camera. He was dressed in a university zip up and matching sweatpants, like he just rolled out of bed. “Everything’s set up, whenever you’re ready.”

Likewise with you, and you pulled off your hoodie, not bothering with a bra. Despite the fact that the room was temperature controlled, the cold morning air still managed to worm its way to your bare top. You quickly rubbed down your gooseflesh with your palms.

You two engaged in a comfortable silence as you tested out your poses and he adjusted his frame. After a couple of practice shots, the air seemed calmer.

“Cold?” Vernon asked casually.

“Anything that isn’t under the sheets of my bed is cold as hell,” you muttered, trailing your fingers delicately across your waist.

“That’s a nice pose,” Vernon said to himself, “we’re almost done. Then you can go to bed for the rest of your day. Unless you’re down for breakfast?"

You two still haven’t spoken about his little confession the other day, but in all honesty there was no reason to bring it up. Your lives were going in different directions, and you knew Vernon deserved more than a halfhearted summer fling.

"I think I’m down for bed and breakfast,” you replied wryly.

“Smart girl,” Vernon chuckled, “can you change your pose for me? Like, pretend that you’re stretching.”

You didn’t understand what he meant by that, so you ended up flexing your arms in different directions.

“No, we’re not doing yoga.” He let his camera swing around his neck as he rushed over to you. The sun was a soft white, the antithesis of golden hour as you two rushed to make the magic happen. He grabbed your arms from behind, twisting the left wris in an unusual angle.

"Ah, Vernon!” You jerked around to face him, now fully awake. “I’m not a Barbie doll, you can’t just move me like that."

Vernon doesn’t respond. He let go of you as soon as you screamed, eyes blown wide and pupils a thick black. His stare is frozen to yours, and his hand is in mid-air, a centimeter away from your bare breasts.

"Oh,” you said, “did I whack you with my boob when I turned?"

"Yeah, you boobed me.” Vernon looked afraid to stare anywhere but your face. “I’m so sorry."

"It’s okay,” you bit the inside of your lip, “I don’t mind if you touch me there."

Now, Vernon looked terrified.

It’s been a long week. A long, surreal week. You wanted to tell Vernon about your conflicted feelings, you wanted to ask about his little crush, and what on earth did he find appealing about you. You wanted to tell him how much you trusted him with your body, and how you wanted him to do more to you than just ink.

It’s then, the gaping boy shook himself together. His hands encircled your neck, haloing at the finishing piece of his work, an echelon moon. Vernon’s fingers trailed to cup your face, and you felt your whole body warm in anticipation. Patient, you waited for his carmine eyes to flutter shut, and you smiled, finally closing yours—

"The fuck is this?"

In an instant, the air was sucked out of you like a blackhole, and Vernon immediately shielded you, throwing his jacket across you like a towel.

"Mingyu,” you said shakily, clutching the cotton coat tighter around your form.

It’s then that a no-longer bleary-eyed Joshua stumbled into the greenhouse, seconds too late.

Mingyu threw down the sack of fertilizer he hauled on his back, black dirt smattering the floor. “Its been barely a week and you’re fucking someone in the greenhouse, of all places?” Mingyu was angry, plain and simple. “I thought we agreed on a break."

"You agreed on a break,” your thighs were numb from leaning on them, but Vernon’s hand on your back encouraged you to get on your feet. “I agreed that two years was too long to wait."

"And who are you?” Mingyu squinted his eyes at Vernon.

“He’s none of your business,” you stepped in front of him, tugging his hoodie closer around your frame.

Mingyu’s face fell in realization, and he looked between you two with forlornness that made your stomach churn. “C’mon baby,” your nails embedded themselves in your palm at the jab, “can we go outside and talk about this?”

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” your voice was paper thin, but loud enough for Mingyu to hear across the room, “I’d prefer you leave us alone, and do not talk to me ever again.”

It took all your composure to turn around, and you glared a hole into Vernon’s chest. You felt your body bleed goosebumps around your arms and legs, not out of weather, but out of anxiety. You hugged yourself to shut the prickly feeling down. You heard Joshua do the only helpful thing this morning and it’s his soft utterances that finally pulled Mingyu out of the greenhouse. ,

What’s left is the drip of the hose, and the two of you, unmoved.

Thankful for the silence, you looked up at your companion, who was speechless. Vernon’s lower lip was puckered out slightly, face contorted as if to say I’m sorry, that kinda sucked. The tell-tale signs of emotional overload began to prick at your eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” you wiped your face. Since when did you start crying? “I’m so sorry that I let all of this happen, and I let myself let this happen, and I’m such a mess and I’ve been trying to hide it all this time, but I’m selfish and I just wanted to see what would turn out of it.”

“What are you apologizing for?” Vernon tried to lighten up the mood, and offered you an easy smile and reached for a hug.

“I’m sorry because I don’t know if I like you or not!” you outburst, and pushed him out of arm’s reach. “I feel so fucking guilty I just got out of a relationship and I can’t tell if I like you or I like your attention, honestly. And it isn’t fair because you’re just so sweet and kind and easy to love. Either way at the end of the summer I’m moving into the city for my full-time job. And I, I, I don’t know!”

Vernon forced his way into your space, barely a foot apart. He didn’t touch you, but his warmth still emanated from the jacket you were wearing. He didn’t seem upset, then again you were probably upset enough for the both of you.

“Hey, I offered to do your back because I knew you needed a distraction,” Vernon said softly, “no strings attached, ever. You do you, right? Focus on yourself.”

You wished he was mean about this. It would’ve made it easier. “What if this is the last time we talk? What if I want to ignore you for the rest of the summer?” you murmured, already knowing you. should enjoy these final moments.

“We’ll live,” he shrugged, and finally broke the space between you. His lips planted themselves between your forehead, melting away the lines that marred your brows apart, “and we’ll heal.”

The city was daring. The city was unforgiving.

You tugged your scarf closer around your neck, which constricted your airflow but also prevented any possible windchill from slicing your neck. In your other hand you were hauling a week’s worth of work in a luggage that had once packed your things in August and sent you to this very career path.

As much as you loved your new life, you wished things would be a little more boundless. The box of your workspace, the box of the elevator, and the box of your goshiwon apartment were starting to feel particularly stifling this weekend.

It was Friday (or FriYay, as your co-workers dubbed) and that meant a weekend vegging out with a comfort meal and a new movie. There was a Burger King and a Gongcha under your apartment complex, both calling your name.

Boba and burgers, the perfect way to end a week.

You munched on your fries as you scanned the Gongcha menu, craving something sweet to contrast with your salty meal.

It is then a low, sultry whisper sauntered in your direction (in a Gongcha, with children) and you almost choked on your fry. “I would know that back anywhere,” the offender drawled.

What a strange pick-up line. The paper bag crinkled in your grip, and you turn around to see a familiar perky face in a scarlet Adidas tracksuit. Of all the places, he was here.

“Hey, Flower Girl.” Minghao greeted, wiggling his fingers in a wave. He was on a tall stool, long legs splayed out and a cup of oolong milk tea hung lazily in his grip. His cup was at least 50% ice, and he was shaking the cup like a rattle every ten seconds.

“Normally, people would start with a simple hello,” you replied wryly, ushering him over to wait with you in line.

“Normally,” Minghao shrugged, and slipped an arm around your shoulders as if you were long lost friends, “how have you been doing? Planting gardens for the spring?”

“Please,” you scoffed. To Joshua and Wonwoo’s chagrin, you’ve forgotten a lot since the summer. “I can’t even make a corsage anymore, my brain’s on overload. What about you?”

It looked like he was waiting for you to ask that. You barely got your order in before he started spitting out his story. “Didn’t you hear?” Obviously you didn’t, and he didn’t give you a chance to answer. “Two letters. RM.” Again, nothing. “The RM? The hottest rapper in Korea? Anyway, he was one of our clients in August—he got a sick design of a koala and an alpaca, cooler than you think—and gave us a massive tip on his Instagram story. We were famous overnight! We were getting crazy clients left and right—fuckin’ Sana wanted a little heart on her sternum, hottest thing.”

“So you were able to relocate the parlor to the city?”

“The big push was when Yoongi dropped RM his demo,” he shook his cup furiously, ice clanging, as if he never got tired of this story. “Like, I didn’t even know they were texting! I’ve been running the parlor mostly, I’ve always wanted to live in the city, but RM funded a lot of it and is helping Yoongi make his mix.”

In the back of your head, the question of an aspiring grad student was niggling in your brain, but you pushed it down. “So, if Yoongi’s working on his demo and you’re supposed to be running the parlor, why aren’t you there now?” you asked.

He stared at you as if it were the most obvious choice. “Because I’m here, drinking boba with you.” Minghao then grabbed your finished drink from the employee’s hand, ushering you out the door. “And now you’re going to follow me, because my break was over fifteen minutes ago.”

“What?”

“I have your boba,” he’s already out the door, waving your precious beverage like a fish to its line. “Hurry up, now I’m sixteen minutes late!”

You groaned, lugging your suitcase full of work and now cold french fries back into the freezing weather. The wheels of your suitcase are cracking in exhaustion, mirroring yours. You just wanted your damn milk tea, hot fries, and a Netflix catch-up. What was the point of following Minghao to Nu ABO, when there was no reason to be there other than …

“Oof!” your face slammed into Minghao’s back. The light was red. “Did Vernon move here too?”

“Duh, who else would be covering for me?”

“You’re trying to set me up!” You cried in betrayal, jabbing him in chest with your finger. “Y'know what, I’m just going to get another boba. You keep that.”

You two glared at each other. Minghao looked relentless, ignoring whoever was bumping into him on the streets. His eyes suddenly glinted to your rolling luggage, and he snatched it from your grip, running into the streets.

“Can’t replace your work, right?” He laughed, forcing you to chase him down the block.

You felt sweat start to develop on your back, contrasting with the icy weather. Your work blazer and pinstripe loafers were not suited for vigorous activity. Minghao has an unfair advantage, being tall and athletic, and you had just finished half a bag of Burger King. Damn him.

Minghao stopped in front of a sunken in building, with stairs leading downwards to a neon-lit parlor with the name glittering in electric periwinkle font. Flustered, you gasp at the cold air, finally able to stop. Despite having lost your breath ten meters ago, you managed to tell Minghao you’re proud that they have a real parlor.

Your heart was beating in your ears, and you can’t tell whether it was because you haven’t worked out in months, or because Vernon was behind that door.

Minghao dumped your luggage behind the reception area, and went straight into the artist room. This new parlor was much bigger, so when Minghao disappeared into a hallway he was out of your sight. You wait around, letting yourself sink into the familiar hip hop playlist. There are pictures littering the walls, all covered with a clean black frame. You see Yoongi and the supposed RM, sporting his koala and alpaca ink (which actually did look sick) and some photos of Minghao’s work, all of his designs being simultaneously colorful and graceful.

It’s then in the epicenter of this wall is a long black frame that cut across the horizon, seven images of a woman with flowers and stars inking her back.

Your back.

“Beautiful, right? I’m sure it takes you back.” Minghao was over your shoulder, flicking his fingers between the photos. “Lots of customers have requested these designs. He never makes them the same way, though.”

Instead of answering, you followed Minghao down the hallway and into the artist room. Vernon had just finished with a client. Poking in head first, you saw him ticking off protocol off a printed list, speaking concisely. The client was listening intently, and you see he has an arm sleeve with peonies. It’s then he noticed Minghao intruding once more, and frowned.

“Dude, you got milk tea without me?” Vernon said, affronted.

“Ya didn’t ask.” Minghao vigorously shook the ice in your tea like a baby rattle.

“You didn’t mention it, therefore I couldn’t have asked.”

“You’re so smart, Hannie,” he beamed at him like a proud parent complimenting his son, “that’s why he’s going to grad school.”

You let yourself in fully, and you felt shy as Vernon’s lips parted slightly upon realizing who his second guest was.

“Hey,” Vernon exhaled, and gave you a small smile. He looked happy, content. As handsome as ever, he ran a gloved hand through his hair, soft curls bouncing as he shifted around the parting. “This is uh, a surprise.” his eyes flickered to Minghao, who held his arms out in a passive shrug. “A good one to end the week.”

“Hi,” you bit your lip, feeling shy, “so, you decided to get certified and you’re going to grad school? I missed out on a lot.”

“That’s okay, we got time.” Vernon assured, “besides the fact that I got a project due tomorrow morning that I’ve barely started, and then I have a field trip I gotta go to on Sunday—”

Before it could drag on any longer, Minghao hacked out a very loud, and very fake cough. You broke out of the rêve, and muttered a “gimmie that” before snatching your precious bubble tea out of Minghao’s hand.

Vernon mirrored the cough, more out of embarrassment than annoyance. “Lemme finish up with this client, yeah?” And he jerked his head back to the patient, going on about safety.

Minghao led you out of the room, whispering a “you’re welcome” in your ear that taunted you for the rest of the night.

Vernon finished at 5, just like he did back in the little shack at university square. He came out in a 2XL neon green hoodie, leading the client out the door and telling him to “take it easy”. As soon as the client’s gone, he comes over to you. You’re still staring at your pictures, as if you couldn’t believe that you were on display, looking like a tasteful nude model.

“Hi again,” he said, dusting the imaginary dirt off his pants.

“Hi,” you replied, feeling tingly at the sound of his voice. Did you really miss him that much?

"Um, is it cool if I hug you?"

It certainly has been awhile. You nodded, unsure if you could form a coherent response because you could tell Vernon was blushing and he was being too damn adorable for you to handle.

Upon permission, he brightened. The warmth of his cotton hoodie enveloped you like the way hot chocolate feels after a cold day. You breathed in his scent, realizing how much you missed the scent of fresh laundry, especially on him.

"How are you?” He asked casually.

“Uh, m'okay.” You answered softly, “a little cold nowadays."

He hugged you tighter in response. With one more squeeze he let himself go, but kept you at an arm’s length. "Wanna get dinner?"

You looked at him funny, "didn’t you say you had a project due tomorrow morning that you haven’t started?"

Without missing a beat he altered, "Wanna get takeout? I’ll do work and eat while,” his eyes darted to your luggage, “you do work?"

While you wanted to say that it was Friday (FriYay!) and you weren’t planning to open Pandora’s Box until Sunday night, you obliged and followed him to his place.

On the way over, Vernon got his well-needed milk tea (and your second round) with two matching cartons of jajangmyeon. You trailed behind him rather than next to him, due to the fact that he was also lugging a Joshua-sized canvas on his back. In fear of being knocked out or ruining his work, you settled for walking a meter apart.

Vernon lived on the second floor of his complex. You imagined a sizable one-room similar to your goshiwon, but you’re in awe when you see a fully furnished living room and kitchen. You smiled at the singular jade plant decorating the windowsill, one you remembered as Patricia Planty one session months ago. The hardwood was so shiny you could see your reflection in them. Kicking off your shoes, you stumbled over the kitchen countertop, reveling at the onyx granite.

"I’ve never seen this much granite in my entire life!” You cried, spreading your hands over the cool rock. It was so well polished, you could see your reflection. He was certainly living the high life this year.

Vernon shook his head, setting the take out down and pulling out the containers. “It’s RM’s old place. I rent it out with the guys."

"God, this is ten times better than my place! Your kitchen is bigger than my apartment!"

He flicked your bowl of jajangmyeon over to your side of the countertop, the sauce and noodles premixed for you. "Eat up, babe.�� He stuffed a radish in his mouth, now working to mix his own noodles, “we got a lotta catchin’ up to do."

Whether it was your hunger or the casual use of the word "babe”, you abandoned the granite for now and did as told.

An hour later, you’re flipping through their mounted TV, taking full advantage of their Disney+ subscription as Vernon is laying on the floor.

“I thought you were working,” you chastised, letting yourself sink further into their couch. It was like resting on a big, fluffy marshmallow. You never wanted to leave.

Vernon is splayed out like a starfish, papers and watercolors spread around him. His large body stood out against the white linoleum floor, his neon green hoodie reflecting on the shiny surface. “I am.” he replied blandly, “I’m waiting for lightning to hit me with a burst of inspiration."

"Grad school’s biting you in the butt?"

"Big time."

Another bout of silence hit the two of you, and it was surprisingly nice. You finally started to notice that Vernon is picking up some art utensils and is doodling something. (He still is on the floor and hasn’t sat up properly, but progress is progress.)

It felt oddly domestic, but you didn’t mind. There was no need to ask about the past, Kim Mingyu, or any other silly drama you two entrapped yourselves into last summer. What mattered now was the warmth of each other’s presence on this chilly night.

Your eyes are heavy and fighting against the long day, and before you know it, you’re asleep just as Rapunzel escapes Gothel’s tower.

You haven’t awoken to the morning sun in a long, long time. While the notion sounded awfully depressing (because it was), you really didn’t have much of a choice because the goshiwon was closet sized, and closets had no windows. But today, the sun blasted you, forcing you up. This was accompanied by the the tell-tale sounds of breakfast, which was weird because you only ever ate cold food in your room, because there was zero ventilation. The scent of dark roast muddled your senses, forcing you awake. You twitched at the sudden stench, and snapped your back straight. Were your walls always this pristine white?

"Didn’t know you were this early in the game, Flower Girl."

You never went home. While Vernon was long gone and probably off presenting some haphazard art, Minghao and Yoongi (for the first time, in the flesh!) were watching you from their marbled island, while you rubbed the crusties out of your eyes. "Usually, encroaching on a significant other’s apartment is reserved for the 5th or 6th date.” Minghao teased, waving his Nutella toast in your face.

“Oh, shut up,” you glared at Yoongi, who was slowly chewing on his own toast. There’s was black spark in his eyes, like he’s relishing on whatever has unfolded. “And you, you. I know this is the first time we’ve met and you haven’t said a word. But shut up too. Your thoughts are awfully loud.”

You’re embarrassed, and you pull up your hands to mediate your fired cheeks. Instead of your palms, you feel worn cotton dabbing at your face. You wiggled your fingers under the neon green hoodie. Vernon put on his clothes for you to wear. You were in a very uncompromising position, and his roommates were reveling every second of it.

Yoongi shrugged, throwing you a flippant grin. “Whatever you say, Flower Girl.”

Contact emerged in the form of texts and images. You wondered how Vernon managed to keep things casual in light of how sudden your meeting was, but you relished in the way things fell naturally.

[February 19, 2:10PM]

Vern: Is this still your number

Vern: If so, here’s what i submitted for my project

Vern: IMG.934

Vern: if not, pls enjoy this picture of a pink platypus. the medium was watercolor nd if you’re curious, i got the idea from sunsets and phineas and ferb. Enjoy your day

You: hey look, there’s perry

Vern: nice

Vern: wait, this doesn’t confirm if ur u or a stranger

Vern: are u just a perry enthusiast

Vern: evidence pls

[February 19th, 6:08PM]

You: IMG.48

[February 20th, 12:22AM]

Vern: ooh

Vern: look cute in my hoodie

You’ve toggled with the idea of just cutting straight through the bush and asking him out the next time you see him in person. A little part of you liked the chase, however. That feeling where you’re tugging between friendship and something more, and you can’t help but feel like you’re fifteen everytime his name popped up in your messages. You self-dubbed it the-honeymoon-to-the-honeymoon phase.

[February 27, 5:34PM]

Vern: what are you up to

You: it’s hour 32. I’ve been under the covers and have survived solely on celery and honey-butter chips. currently binging all netflix comedies. debating on whether to send for help otherwise i may never get up

Vern: that’s the spirit

By the time two weeks passed, you felt confident enough to ride off the mutually weird text messages and constant contact to meet with him. By then, you’re knees deep in the honeymoon-to-the-honeymoon phase. You’re languidly floating in that river, hoping you’re not rushing it by agitating the waters.

[March 8th, 10:10PM]

You: hey

You: you up?

Vern: nah. mastered the art of sleep textin

You: just wanted to ask if you could help me pick out a tatt that would fit me

You: if you were available. I’ve heard from the mullet-monster that you’re a hot commodity drowning in appts and deadlines

Vern: wait forreal?

Vern: i can pencil u in. tomorrow night @11?

You: so soon? What happened to being busy

Vern: not for u. Already have an idea in mind

By the time you arrived Saturday night, Minghao was slapping your back across the door, gabbing on about a “major banger” they were missing uptown. He looked the part, the only person you knew that could fill out an all-studded denim fit. Like a disco ball at a rodeo. He barely said good-bye before he hopped in a Lyft, cheering for freedom.

You poked your head into the artist room, and saw Vernon playing on his phone. His fist dug into his cheek, carob pupils glazed over. You almost felt bad for wanting his attention this late.

“You usually do the day shift,” you commented quietly, holding up a bag with two milk teas in hand.

Vernon looked up, illuminating in a half-smile. “Y’know me, always covering. Just for the hour though, this shouldn’t take long since we’re just looking at ideas.”

He slapped a hand on the client chair. This one was much better than the cot they had in their shack. This one was pure leather and gleamed high quality. You placed your drinks on the countertop and eagerly bounced onto the seat. “Comfy,” you murmured, and wriggled your sneaker-clad feet.

“Good,” there’s a sharp snap from the plastic seal and Vernon is sipping into his milk tea seconds after you put it down. He’s chewing on a particularly large gulp, gnawing on pearls like no one’s business. With his rolling chair, he slid over to you, seamlessly reaching for your wrist.

If he noticed that you’re wearing a particular neon item, he doesn’t comment. He turned on the overhead lamp, letting a soft white light bathe your form. When he finally spoke, he chanted your name in a sing-song, tapping your wrist in beat. It’s as if he were envisioning the color blooming on your skin.

You let him do his thing, and he pulled out his phone, scrolling through his gallery. You see pictures of his friends, some of his family, and digital art. He scrolled slower at the myriad of images: a colorful orca, lavender constellations, and budding roses.

You were seeing a lot of flowers nowadays, with the burgeoning of spring and the recent ending of Valentine’s. It’s only now that you notice how apparent the theme is throughout the parlor, particularly in Vernon’s affinity.

“Why don’t you call me it?” you asked softly, peering over his form to see him mulled over a picture of periwinkle lupines.

“Huh,” he’s distracted, and has now swiped back to the colorful orca image.

“Flower Girl,” you uttered, “they call me that, but you don’t.”

Vernon clicked his phone down, the lupines flicked away. He peered at you through his lashes, the white overhead making his eyes appreciably bright. “Before I knew your name,” he started slow, making faces to himself as if he were debating on whether to tell you, “I’d call you Rose. You were always by the rose bush planted outside the shop.”

“Avoiding work,” you crinkled your nose, however relished in the endearment, “being named after a rose is too big a compliment.”

He snorted, “That’s what they said. Hence, Flower Girl was born,” he’s easy about it, but now he’s put his phone down and is rubbing circles in your wrist. You wonder if he felt how clammy your palms were getting from the minute intimacy.

“You know what flower I’d compare to you?” you asked, “freesias.”

“And what do those mean?”

“Thoughtfulness,” the pad of his thumb still lingered on your skin, his grip painfully apparent. “And renewal.”

“Why renewal?”

“Because,” you swallowed, “you make me feel renewed. And this time I’m sure it’s because it’s you.”

Vernon looked like he wanted to smile, trying so very hard not to embarass you whilst you poured your heart out with delicacy. His coral lips were tucked in a thin line, teeth biting at his lower lip. Drop by drop, he was going to accept that dew with as much care as possible. “Only me,” he inquired, pressing into your pulse.

Your mouth was sand dry. “Uh-huh.” You exhaled a breath long clutched in your throat, hot air fanning into Vernon’s face. He paid no mind, and (to no avail) was still trying to hold in his smile. “You’re dimples are showing,” you whined, poking the little dip in his cheeks with your free hand. “Use your words.”

“Like?” he elongated, playing dumb. You supposed you earned his brand of torture, after all, seven months is a long time to make up for.

“Like how we want the same thing?” you tried.

“How do you know I want what you want?” he feigned, furrowing his thick brows. Acting could’ve been another career possibility for him, portrayed by the way his eyes were blown with confusion, his mouth parted like a kitten.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake! Forget words!” you broke, nearly shaking from the nerves.

It’s then that Vernon finally gave you a concrete response. His grip on your wrist was near painful as he eagerly tugged you closer, kissing you. There’s enthusiasm in every action from the way he pulled you closer, large hands melding to cup your cheeks. A little part of you is both breathless and invigorated at the energy stinging the room, and you can barely keep up until Vernon spilled kisses down your neck.

He threw up the armrest holding him back, tucking his knee between your legs as he lapped you up, kissing you fully. The chair was much too small for the both of you, his large body pressing you further into the cushions.

He sat up a bit, bumping his head on the lamp. He paid no mind. “By the way, I like you, too.” Vernon puttered cheekily, rubbing his scalp. Just as swiftly, he latches onto your neck and sucks at a sensitive spot. You can feel his teeth showing from the smile in his kisses. His thumbs rubbed lazily over your jaw, enjoying the feel of your soft skin under his rough palms.

“Really,” you exhaled, relaxing against the headrest as Vernon’s wandering hands traveled lower. “Had no idea.”

“But I’m happy,” Vernon is fumbly and sweet, mumbling in the crook of your neck while his fingers toyed with the waistband of your sweatpants, “happy you’ve healed, and happy for us.”

He’s excited, almost too excited. The space between you two was warm, the lamp beating under your skin, awakening something between you two that was left behind that summer. It’s as if winter left him dormant, and you were the fresh flower waiting to be bloomed under his touch.

“Are you always,” you gasped, two fingers already worming their way inside your panties, “talkative at this part?”

“Not if you wanna talk,” and the ever-zealous Vernon Chwe gets to work, sticking out his tongue in surprise when he finds that you’re already drenched. “Shit, you’re so beautiful,” he holds onto that word dearly, and pressed his forehead against yours, “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to hold you like this,” he reached for your delicious bud, and you felt your senses flower into pleasure.

He makes a noise, low in his throat as he watched you melt against the seat. “I like you like this,” he said thickly, his voice matching the slick sounds emitting from yourself. “Comfy, relaxed. You always looked so stuffy in those work suits,” you feel wholly undeserving of this worship, as he licked a long strip from your collarbone to your neck, “would love to help you chill out a lil’ more.”

A whine bubbled from the back of your throat, your eyes rolling shamelessly as you feel the pads of his fingers working circles between your folds. “Ah, I’ve—I’ve fantasized about this,” you confessed, “every time you’d ink my back. At one point we just stopped covering myself with those stupidly thin gowns. All you had to do was turn around.” Vernon blinked rapidly, mental pictures ticked like film in his pupils. His hands stuttered across your slick, inserting two fingers between your folds as you continued. His pace was slow, yet purposeful as he made sure you felt him with every thrust. Rings adorned his fingers, and the cool sensation surprised you. You shivered in pleasure. “Mm, I’ve imagined us kinda like this in that little shack, hard against the cot overlooking the shop,”

“Dirty,” he said, as if recalling the weather.

“And ah—wondering what kind of tattoos you have,” and in your haze you reached for him, your hand gripping firm at his gunmetal belt buckle. You tucked your fingers between the button of his light wash jeans, palming the telltale signs of something hard, “please? You’ve done too much for me, lemme return the favor.”

“Not now,” he pressed his forehead to yours, “you can guess my ink on our way home.”

“Wha?“ You’re dazed, feeling warm with affection and drowned in the moment. You feel his fingers, slowly pumping out of its rhythm and resting on your thigh. You groaned at the premature end, his shiny digits resting on your fleece sweats.

“They’ll kill me, this is new leather,” Vernon said, “and now we can afford security cameras, which are so small even I can’t find them.”

“Unbelievable,” you laughed. You’re not frustrated, only endeared.

“Besides, I’d rather have our first time somewhere private. Undisturbed,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead, "somewhere where there’s lots of granite."

You melted, pulling at his collar to pepper kisses on his nose. The mention of coming home to his pretty kitchen was icing on the cake. "You know how much I love your granite."

(After your granite fantasy was fulfilled, you spent the rest of the weekend huddled in Vernon’s room. You’re living off take out and mutually satisfied with the unhealthy means. When you’re not eating or watching movies, the two of you are drafting your first piece.

Freesias and pink roses.)

(His tattoo was also very cute.)

#vernon #vernon fic #seventeen fic #seventeen smut #vernon smut #vernon fluff #seventeen fluff #vernon fanfic #hansol vernon chwe #seventeen scenarios #kpop #kpop fic #kpop scenarios #kpop smut #blossomed

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the-mighty-jellybean · 4 years

Text

Fallen From Grace

A/N: Hi this is my first time writing anything like a/b/o dynamic stuff, so be kind, I’ve been reading a lot lately and I’m quite liking it. I’m hoping to make this a series, just gonna test the waters and see how this goes.

Series Summary: Before the incident she was one of the most powerful Alphas on the Avengers team; admired, idolised and possibly feared, nothing could stand in her way. However, after a mission goes terribly wrong, and she is brutally attacked, the injuries she sustains take all of her Alpha strength, reducing her status to a weakened Omega. By the way of nature, the team can’t help but treat her in a completely new way. Especially her two closets friends, who now see her in a whole new light.

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Bucky Barnes X Reader

Series Warning: a/b/o dynamics (and the fun stuff that comes with that!), strong language, sexual content (smut is coming much later, and there will be added warnings on those chapters), fluff, angst, manipulation, corporal punishment (18+ only readers)

Part One// Part Two// Part Three// Part Four// Part Five// Part Six//Part Seven// Part Eight// Part Nine// Part Ten// Part Eleven// Part Twelve// Part Thirteen// Part Fourteen// Part Fifteen//

Part Sixteen: Mission Complete

Chapter Warnings: Strong Language

Word Count: 3.5K

“Why do you have to go?” you had your arms and legs wrapped around one of Steve’s legs, as he and Bucky packed. They had just been called out on a mission, and you were not happy about it.

“It’s only gonna be a few days, sweetheart.” Bucky sighed as he tried to pull you from Steve’s leg.

“But I don't want you to go, I want you to stay here with me.” you whined, squeezing even tighter on Steve’s legs.

“Come on, baby. Be a good girl for us. Don’t make us punish you, just before we leave.” Steve warned you, pulling you up by your armpits, and wrapping your legs around his waist.

“I want you to stay.” you pout, looking deep into his blue eyes, you can tell he doesn't want to leave either, but he has no choice.

“We’ll be home soon, pretty girl. Then we can get back to our real mission.” Bucky smirked at you, as he watched your cheeks grow hot.

You had been having sex 24/7, both super soldiers desperate to get you pregnant with their pups. You had come round to the idea of being a mother, when you saw how much your Alphas wanted to have pups, it made you adore them even more, the only thing you wanted to do was please them, and if that meant having their pups, then that was what you were going to do.

~~~~~

“How long has it been?” you groaned, your feet hanging in the air, as you sat upside down, on the large couch in the screening room.

“Two days, four hours, 23 minutes and...27 seconds.” Wanda said checking her watch, as she mirrored your position on the couch next to you.

“I want my Alphas.” your bottom lip jutting out.

“Me too. Well I don't want your Alphas, I want mine.” she corrects herself.

“Why do they have to go away for so long. All I want to do is...is someone cooking onions?” you pause, propping yourself up on your elbows, looking towards the door, your nose following the scent.

“I can’t smell anything.” Wanda looks at you confused.

“No, someone is definitely cooking something oniony.” you say, swinging yourself so you’re now sitting the right way up.

“How can you tell, we’re three floors below the kitchen?” Wanda matching your upright position.

“Can’t you smell that it. My God, it’s making the whole place wreak.” you cover your nose and mouth with your sleeve, making a make shift mask.

“FRIDAY, is there anyone in the kitchen?” Wanda asks

“Yes, Colonel Rhodes, and Mr Parker.” FRIDAY responded, promptly.

“Call in to the kitchen.”

“Dialling in now.”

There was brief sound of dialling, before you could hear the sound of Rhodey and Peter talking to one another.

“Hey, what’s up.” you hear Peter’s cheery voice, ring through the speakers of the Screening Room.

“Hey you guys cooking something?” Wanda asked.

“No, we’re just staring at the food, hoping it’s gonna cook itself.” Rhodey sarcastic tone, fills your ears.

“Very funny.” you shout through your sleeve, “has it got a shit ton of onions in it?”

There was a brief silence, and the distant sound of banging of pots, and cupboard doors closing.

“Not a lot, literally like half a bulb.” Rhosdey reasoned.

“Well, you’re stinking the whole compound out.” You shouted, the smell of the onions only getting worse, making you gag.

“Dude where are you?” you hear Peter ask.

“Miss Y/L/N, and Miss Maximoff, are in the Screening Room.” FRIDAY answered on your behalf.

“Bro, that’s like fifty levels away.” you hear Peter over-exaggerate.

“Yeah well, open a window, I can smell it. FRIDAY, end the call.” There was a sound of a phone being put down. You huff trying to block your nose as best you could.

“Come on let’s go for a walk, it’s nice out.”

You nod, the thought of the fresh air, and being far away from that smell, suited you perfectly.

~~~~~~

“Can we sit down a second.” you gasp, a little breathless, as you crash onto a fallen tree. You had only been walking less than an hour, and your legs were already beginning to ache.

“Um...sure.” Wanda said helping you sit on top of the dead wood, “We’ve only been working a few minutes. Are you feeling okay?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I’m just so exhausted all the time. I thought I’d been getting more sleep, what with Bucky and Steve gone. But I’m still so tired.”

“First off; ew, don’t need to know that much about your sex life. Secondly, do you think you’ve still got an infection from your bites?” She tries to look at your neck, to see if there was any swelling or redness, but it all appeared to be fine.

“No, Steve and Bucky took me to see Dr Cho, before they left. She said I was all clear, and my marks were healing normally now.” You say whilst rubbing Steve’s mark on your neck.

“Then what do you think’s causing this?” Wanda looked at you with her eyes full of concern.

“I don't know, maybe I’ve just got a viral thing. Whatever it is it’ll pass in a few days.”

~~~~~~

A few days passed, and you were only beginning to feel worst. And things weren’t helped, when at 5:30 in the morning you woke, stumbling out of bed, as you hurried yourself to the bathroom, where you proceeded to expel the contents of your stomach, into the toilet.

You groaned when you finally finished heaving into the porcelain bowl, your knees were numb, from where you had been kneeling on the cold, tiled floor. You roll onto your bottom, and prop yourself up against the bath, leaning your head back, giving a silent prayer, to ease your aching stomach.

“Miss Y/L/N, do you want me to call Dr Cho?” you heard FRIDAY, whisper.

“No thank you, FRIDAY. I’ll be okay.” you croaked, you didn’t want anybody to see you like this. You just wanted to go back to bed and curl up into a ball.

You wiped your tear stained cheeks, before heaving yourself up from the bathroom floor. You look at your pale reflection in the mirror, you prod round your face, looking for any signs of obvious ailment, but your face looked nothing out of the ordinary.

You let a heavy sigh fall from your lips, as you take your tooth brush out of the holder. You reach for the toothpaste tube, but let a huff of annoyance leave your mouth, when you discovered that the tube was empty.

“Great.” you puff, slinging the empty tube into the trash, before bending down to look in the cupboard for a new one. Your eyes grazed over the assortment of bathroom supplies; shampoos, conditioners, your eyes catching on the shaving cream, as it made you think of your Alphas, who were so far away. You swallow back the tears, as you are surprised by your sudden wave of emotion.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N.” you told yourself, becoming flustered with yourself at the idea of getting emotional over shaving cream. You quickly move your stinging eyes away from the bathroom essential, but your heart drops a little when they move onto two other objects.

Your eyes freeze when the land upon your supply of tampons and pads, untouched.

Oh shit. Realisation slowly hitting you, as you pick a packet up, and hold it between your fingers, deep in thought.

Your mind was desperately searching for a date, but it was proving a challenge.

“What’s the matter, baby. Is your tummy hurting?” Steve asked as you curled in on yourself, letting a small whimper escape your lips.

“It hurts, Alpha.” You cry, trying desperately to grab for him, needing nothing more than your Alphas near you.

“It’s alright, sweetheart. Do you want me to rub your tummy or do you want a hot water bottle?” Bucky asked you, crouching to your level, on the couch.

“Just want you.” you whimper, holding your arms out to them.

Bucky carefully lifted you up, placing you over his lap, cradling you. He placed his warm hand on your stomach, and gently rubbed over it; the movement and the heat soothing on the cramping below it.

Steve disappeared into the kitchen, only to return shortly, with a cup of water, and two tablets in his hand.

“Here, sweetie. Can you sit up a little for Alpha?” he asked you softly. You whined a little when Bucky shuffled you upwards, so that your mouth could meet with Steve’s fingers, as he placed one of the white discs on your tongue. Then gently bringing the cup up to your face, allowing you to drink the tablet down. Before repeating the action for the second pill.

“Good girl. That’ll make you feel better, honey.” Steve said, before placing the glass down on the table, and joining you and Bucky on the couch. He placed his hand on your ankle, and smoothed his thumb over the skin, relaxing you.

“Just think, when you’re carrying our pups, you want have to deal with this for nine, whole months.” Bucky reassured, bumping your noses together.

Although you were still hesitant at the idea. The thought of not dealing with this, for nine, long months; sounded like a dream.

“Oh shit.” you repeat only this time out loud. That dream looked as though it was going to become a harsh reality.

No. No that can’t be the last time. The memory surfacing from four weeks ago. Which meant you were supposed to be due on.

You threw the packet back into the cupboard, grabbing the new toothpaste tube. You slammed the doors, most likely waking the whole compound, quickly brushing your teeth. Rinsing your mouth out, you abandoned your toothbrush on the side, before striding out of the bathroom, and looking in the floor length mirror in your bedroom.

You lifted up your shirt to reveal, your normal stomach, no new lumps and bumps, it looked exactly how you left it.

You place your hands, across your lower abdomen, beginning to poke and jab, feeling around your belly, for any signs of change, but there was no different.

“I can’t be. Not yet.” you defy. Pulling your t-shirt down, you roll back into bed, looking up at the ceiling.

“There’s no way, I am pregnant.” you say out loud, to nobody but yourself, as you were the only one there you had to convince.

~~~~

“You need to take a test.” That was the only piece of advice Wanda gave you, when you went to find her to seek consolidation.

“No I don't, because it can’t be right.” you disregard, your eyes not meeting hers, as you played with the draw strings on Steve’s hoodie, which you had stolen. You needed your Alphas’ scents more than ever now.

“You’ll never know, unless you take a test.” She presses once more.

“No.” you respond flatly

“Y/N, you can’t just bury your head in the sand. This is serious.” She tried to reason with you, but you didn’t respond, only twisting the strings round your fingers.

“If you don't take a test, I’m calling Steve and Bucky.” you head snapped up at the sound of your Alphas’ names.

“You can’t do that.” you accuse, dropping the strings, and glaring at her.

“Wanna bet?” she threatens, arching her eyebrow.

“You can’t tell them, they’ll fly home. And as much as I want that, they need to finish their mission, you know what they’re like, if they don’t complete their mission.” you remind Wanda, she sighs knowing what you’re saying is true.

“Y/N, you’re leaving me with no choice.” Wanda sighs.

“But I can’t be pregnant.”

“Okay, so say by some miracle you aren't pregnant. How do you explain; throwing up every morning, feeling nauseous whenever anyone cooks anything, and you can’t walk longer than 10 minutes, without needing to take a break? Huh, how do you explain that.” Wanda lists.

“I don't know.” you mumble.

“What was that?” She cups her ear, pretending to have misheard.

“I. Don’t. Know.” you repeat slowly, with a large amount of sarcasm, accenting your words.

“That settles it then. I’m gonna get you a test.” Before you have a chance to object, Wanda has sprung off the couch, and left you to wallow in your own worry.

~~~~

“So, what am I meant to do?” you say looking at the packaging like it is written in some sort of foreign dialect.

“You just pee on this end, then it says we wait three minutes for us to tell us the result.” Wanda says, taking the box from you, and actually reading the instructions.

She hands you the stick, and arch an eyebrow at the peculiar, space age. looking stick, that you twiddle around your fingers.

She leaves you in the bathroom, promising you she’ll be just outside the door.

You take a big deep breath, before you go and take a seat on the toilet, and begin to take the test.

Once you’re finished, you place the lid on the test, and wash your hands, before telling Wanda she can come back in. She starts a timer, and you both sit, waiting anxiously for the answer. Wanda’s sat in the bathtub, whilst you sit on the toilet seat with your head in your hands.

“It’ll be okay, Y/N. Just think how happy Steve and Bucky are gonna be.” Wanda tried to convince you. That’s all you were thinking about, because that was the only thing stopping you from spontaneously combusting, with anxiety.

“I know. They’ve both wanted this for so long. But what if I’m not a good mom?” you say through your fingers, as this was turning into the longest three minutes of your entire existence.

“Y/N, you’re gonna be an amazing mommy.” Wanda, stands up from her sitting place in the tub, and crouches down laying her hands over, the ones pressed tightly against your face.

“But what if the baby comes out, and it looks like Steve or Bucky, and they feel left out, or don't love the baby as much, because they’ll have that constant doubt that they aren't the father?” you ramble, curse your damn hormones, your eyes stinging with tears.

“You know that Steve and Bucky would never do that, Y/N. They love you too much. They’ll just be over the moon, that you’ve given them a pup.”

The timer on Wanda’s phone begins to chime, and your heart start to pound, a mile a dozen. Wanda takes you hands, and make you take a deep breath together, before she reaches the stick, she holds it out to you, you take it from her but close your eyes, squeezing them tightly.

“It’s gonna be alright, Y/N.”

Those are the final words, Wanda says to you before you open your eyes, gazing down at the small, white stick in your hands. They begin to shake, as you read over the word, written on the small screen.

Pregnant

“What does it say?” Wanda’s voice breaks through the ringing in your ears, and you can do nothing, but pass her the test. She takes it from you, and she drops her gaze from your eyes, to the tiny window.

“It says I’m pregnant.” you say, when she doesn't say anything.

“Oh my God, Y/N. Congratulations.” she shrieks throwing her arms around you. You just let her hang off you, as your whole body goes numb.

Pregnant.

You were actually carrying a small bit of you and Steve or Bucky, inside of you. Your Omegaself, warms from the thought. You had done it, you had actually achieved your purpose as an Omega. You were finally complete on your Omega journey.

~~~~~~

You had butterflies in your stomach, Bucky and Steve were coming home today, and you were gonna finally get to tell them, what you had been up to.

You had done a second test, and bought two, small boxes to put them in, decorating them both with a bow. You placed them on the bed before heading outside.

You stood on the landing strip, along with Wanda, and Peter, all three of you were bouncing on the heels of your feet, your Alphas only a few moments away.

The jet coming into sight, made your heart skip a beat, the thought of telling your Alphas that you were going to give them everything, they had ever wished for.

Finally the wheels touched down, and like Wanda and Peter, you took off running towards the opening doors. Wanda was the first to be swept off her feet, as Vision came soaring out of the sky, and landing on the tarmac, before embracing Wanda the moment her little legs, carried her to him.

Then Peter shot a web, pulling himself closer to the jet, pushing past, Sam and Clint, to reach his beloved Alpha. Then finally you saw them, the sight of which made your pace pick up, before you were launching yourself into Bucky’s arms. He caught you easily and brought into his chest, as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“Hi, baby girl. You miss us?” He says, sprinkling your face with little kisses. You can't hold your emotions together, as you burst into tears, pushing your head into the crook of his neck, whilst letting a very watery ‘yes’ escape your trembling lips.

“Oh baby, we’re home now. Don't cry, sweetheart.” You felt Steve’s arms wrap around the both of you, you hum in content, the feeling of both your Alphas’ strong arms, holding you close.

“I’m sorry, Alpha. I just missed you so much.” you blubbered, Bucky pushing your head further into his neck, so you could be closer to his scent gland, hoping to help sooth you.

“It’s alright, darlin. We’re home now. We’re not gonna leave you that long again.” Steve whispers into your ear, running his hand up and down your back.

“Come on, let’s get you in side. It’s cold out here, I can feel it on your nose.” Bucky chuckles, as you all began to make your way inside.

Steve practically kicks the door down, as he and Bucky hurry you into your room, Bucky already kissing your neck, covering you in his scent.

“Oh honey, we’ve missed you so much. But we’re back now, time to get back to the real mission at hand.” he speaks, in-between kisses. In all the passion, you got caught up in, you forgot about the two small boxes, laying on the bed, until Bucky through you onto it, making them bounce into the air.

“Wait.” you try to pause Bucky and Steve in their movements, but they’re desperately trying to remove their belts, as fast as possible.

“We’ve been waiting nearly a week, baby. I need to put this knot to good use.” Steve growls, but you manage to push him off of you, and grab the rectangular boxes and hold it out to them.

“Presents later, sweetheart. You’re all that we want right now.” Bucky, grabs the boxes from you hands, and places them on the bedside table.

“But you’ve already put your knots to good use.” they halt in their actions, and stand over you looking at you with great confusion. You get up from the bed, and grab the boxes, the two Alphas sit at the edge of the bed.

“These are for you.” you say handing them to the two men, who still looked utterly bewildered.

They take them from you, before undoing the bows, and popping the lids in sync. Bucky drops his head, hand covering his eyes, as his shoulders begin to shake.

You begin to feel worried, when he lets a loud sob escape his lips.

“Did I do something wrong?” you asked.

“Far from it, my beautiful, little Omega.” he chokes through his cries, he grabs hold of you, pulling you as tightly as possible. Steve was yet to react, he just sat and stared at the little test in his hand.

“I’m so proud of you, my baby girl.” Bucky kisses you all over your face, making you giggle.

“Is this real, Y/N. Like really real?” Steve asks you in disbelief.

“Of course, my Alpha. I would never joke about this.” you assured him, resting your hand on his cheek.

“I love you, my Omega.” he says with a water grin, as his eyes begin to swell with tears.

“I love you too, Alpha. Both my Alphas.” you kissed them both on the lips, Bucky pulling you backwards, you grab hold of Steve, pulling him with you.

“You’re amazing, little one. Did you do this all by yourself?” Steve asked, twiddling the test in his hands.

“Well you helped.” You giggle, causing both of them to chuckle.

“No I mean finding out. Did you have to do it on your own?” his voice had a hint of sadness, the thought of you going through this all by yourself, made him feel guilty.

“No, Alpha. Wanda was with me.”

“You should have told us, sweetheart. We would have come home sooner.” Bucky said, pushing hair out of your face.

“I thought it would be a nice surprise.” you smiled. You grabbed your Alphas’ hands, and pulled your shirt up, placing their warm palms on top of your stomach.

They both rubbed gently, face splitting grins stretched across their cheeks. You laid their content in the arms of your Alphas.

In the arms of your little family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~TO BE CONTINUED~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Sorry that I didn’t post this yesterday, but I was having a great day celebrating VE Day with my family.

However, this unfortunately concludes: Fallen From Grace. I’ve absolutely loved writing this story, and I’ve been overwhelmed by the response from all of you. I have got some ideas for a sequel, and I’ll begin production on that very soon...so watch this space.

xxx

TAGLIST:

@mikariell95 @sexyvixen7 @booboobella01 @rororo06 @vickstaahh @krazykatkay456 @winchester-wifey @nightlygiggles @coonflix

#alpha!steve #alpha!bucky #reader insert #omega!reader #steve rogers #steve x reader #steve fic #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky fic #marvel fanfiction #a/b/o dynamics #avengers a/b/o #stucky x reader #stucky

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calypsoff2 · 3 years

Text

Five. Part 2

Looking behind me, I had to do a double take at my daughter “what did dad say about phones and tablets? He doesn’t want you on social media Rylee” that girl of mine just ignores rules in this house “it’s a tablet mom and I’m doing homework too, look” she turned the tablet to me, I don’t believe her but she did show me work I guess “just don’t be on it long ok, stay in the kitchen with it please” I don’t want her to be on it long and if she leaves the kitchen I’ll forget “are you done with the tablet, I want a turn” since Chris has taken the phone off them they have the tablet which they are now battling for “it’s mine” Rylee was quick to say “erm, it’s mine, if you can’t share then I am taking it off you both” Tianna climbed up on the bar stool, watching Rylee quietly that she isn’t moving away from her but she didn’t “see you both can share” I’m glad they are quiet, honestly it’s not like we can’t buy them both a tablet but it’s the principle, I don’t want my kids to be stuck in their tablets or phones and hiding in their room. I mean I know at a certain age I will have to let them have their own but for now they share that, besides Imani. She has somehow got away with it and has her own tablet; Chris thinks I haven’t noticed but I have. She is the spoilt one clearly, the things these two don’t get she gets, and she is so lucky for that “do you girls know where Imani is?” She’s been so quiet “she’s asleep on the couch” she’s fallen asleep “good, I’m glad you both are sharing. So you girls want to wait for dad to come home or shall we Christmas shop and buy daddy his gift?” I am giving them the choice “what time is he coming home? I think we should do both and then be home when he comes” they have a point “have you thought of what you are getting him?” They wanted to buy Chris a gift, they asked “shoes!” Tianna spat “old men shoes, your dad is getting old” they both laughed “dad said he is young, me and Tianna are thinking of getting him shoes” if they want to get him that they can “what are you getting him mom?” Tianna asked “erm” a smile formed on my face “something that is free, and money can’t buy” I giggled to myself “how!?” Rylee spat “oh just something” I shrugged “let’s FaceTime dad” Chris is easily pleased, why buy him things when he just loves to have sex with me, so I am lucky with that.

Imani asleep I can just rest until she wakes up “Tianna, did dad pick up your FaceTime?” He hasn’t picked my calls up, it’s afternoon there “and are you going to get dressed, we can go soon” my kids are having a lazy day clearly, we had movie night and Imani stayed up but now she is so tired. She isn’t even wanting to wake up, she ate breakfast and went back to sleep again “he didn’t, and I am now, I am looking for my hair tie” she isn’t going to find that “ok, just go in my room. I have lots in there” looking back at my phone, he must have a real hangover if he isn’t answering calls. I am so jealous of my own event, they looked like they had real good time and my husband looked so good, I can’t wait for him to come home. Now I know how he feels when I was away for so long, it’s just empty and I don’t feel good that he is away. I shuddered as I tapped through Mel’ Instagram story, look at him he looks so high too. I hate that I wasn’t there “mommy, mom. Tianna come on” these girls, I swear they are always making each other cry “you made her cry?” I said to Rylee, she can be so selfish with that tablet “no, come” looking down at my phone, Mel can wait “then why is she crying, come here” opening my arms at Tianna “it’s not me, we was looking and we saw this” picking up Tianna and placing her on my lap “see this is why your dad didn’t want you having these things, I understand why” taking the tablet from her, my eyebrows knitted together “what is this, take this off” what is even this video, pressing cross in the corner so it closed. As soon as I did the page refreshed “why are you on this” looking at Rylee, she looks guilty “I just saw it; I didn’t do anything” looking back at the tablet, is this old “why are you looking at your dad’ old things? This is old” looking at the headline and then the date, reading the headline again and then again and my phone ringing “mom where is dad?” Rylee asked, my heart is in my mouth right now, dropping the tablet at the side of me and getting my phone. Cancelling the call and unlocking my phone “mom” tapping on Chris’ name, I have two crying girls now and I don’t blame them for feeling like this, but the phone is going straight to voicemail, my heart right now.

I don’t know what to do, seeing my daughters just heartbroken from reading that and getting upset, I am shaking. I am just shaking, I just don’t know what to do. My reaction is what my daughters are looking at, locking the tablet and placing it to the side of me. Staring off into thin air; I am trying to gather myself and not panic but I am panicking inside “girls I need to go to the bathroom” Tianna was quick to climb on me, wrapping her arms around my neck “mommy don’t go” Rylee started too, she is usually the strong one, but she knows something is wrong, my whole world is just crashing down, and I don’t know what is going on. I need to find out, if I pick up that phone it’s going to be me crying and my strong facade will be gone “please girls, I need you to be strong for me” Rylee looked up at me “what happened with dad? I see the video mom, where is he?” I’ve not seen the video, I don’t know what video they are speaking on “look” snatching the tablet from Rylee “please, Tianna. Just give me a moment, please” getting up off of the couch, Tianna has the tightest grip on me, I had to get up with her around me. She is so heartbroken, I don’t know what video they saw “please, listen to me” I have to be strong for these girls “I need to find out what happened to daddy, I can only do that if you let me just speak to uncle” seeing Rorrey is now calling me “you coming back after?” Rylee asked, crouching down “I will be back, Tianna baby. Please, I will fix this ok” she moved her arms back “I will fix it ok? Stop crying” pressing a kiss to her cheek “mom will be back” I am panicking inside; I don’t know what is happening.

I took the tablet with me; I do not trust the girls to not look at what they saw. My heart right now, it’s just so hard for me to not breakdown, closing the office door. I have so many phone calls, so many right now. I will call Rorrey, he has been calling the most. Tapping on his name, I don’t know how the girls got on there, I don’t know what they saw on the video “where have you been!” Rorrey spat, the phone buzzing against my ear, moving it back from my ear “I am adding Mel into this” answering the call and joining her onto the call “I don’t want to hear it” I said, I can’t. This can’t be right, it’s just an old story “where the hell you been Rorrey? I have been trying to call you too!” Mel spat, sitting on the chair “where is my husband? That is all I care for right now, where is my husband, I have two girls in there that have read something and saw a video. Please tell me it’s just a lie, it’s TMZ, they lie a lot” the phone line is silent “I found out from TMZ too” Rorrey said “same” Mel added, I am shaking “where is he!?” I spat, my voice breaking as it did “we don’t know, the information is just coming out on TMZ, he got in a crash. We left” letting the phone drop to the ground, placing my hands over my face. Why does god do this to me, why is god trying to take my husband away from me, sobbing out with my head in my hands.

Rorrey and Mel are still on the phone, picking it up from the floor. I can’t even “I am so sorry” Mel apologised “Rylee and Tianna are heartbroken, they showed me. What has happened to him, why doesn’t anyone know. I am his wife, why wasn’t I informed?” I am so lost “Deja was with him, TJ just found that out now. She is also in hospital, that video someone recorded. Just don’t watch it, please I beg, just don’t. But one minute” Mel went silent “how can I face my kids that are looking to me, that are asking me what has happened to daddy, why is daddy not responding to their calls” a sob left my lips “I can’t do this Rorrey, god really trying to snatch my husband. I can’t be without him, I really can’t. I want to know how” what can Rorrey say “hey, sorry. We have found him, TJ has said he is at Lenox hill hospital. I will go with TJ, are you coming?” Mel said but I can’t register what is happening right now “Robyn! Listen to me, get the girls and come here now so we can take care of you and the girls, Robyn?” not my husband, not my soulmate, not my twin, why him. Anybody but him “sis? Robyn? Are you listening” no wonder I have been feeling off “what if I lost him? I don’t want this anymore” Rorrey shushed me “stop, just stop. I will get Rich outside your place right now, you come here now!” he shouted “them girls need you Robyn, they need you right now. What they saw on the video, I am so fucking angry they saw it, they need to know their mother is ok and that she believed their daddy is ok please sister come to us” Rorrey pleaded with me, I don’t think I can do it “Jen is there, maybe call her” disconnecting the call and sitting back on the office chair, I can’t do this.

Staring at the pictures on the office desk of us, tears just falling from my eyes. He is literally my whole world; nothing amounts to him and I can’t do it. I can’t see him, what if I have lost him. Just seeing him in these pictures and the admiration he has for his daughters, what am I going to do “mom” hearing a tiny knock on the door “Imani is awake, Tianna is here too. I am holding their hands. Can you come out, we need you” looking up, silent sobs left my lips trying to be quiet as possible “oh Rylee” she is like their mother “mommy” Rylee said again, I have got to be strong for my kids “open the door Rylee” Tianna said, the door opened slowly. Wiping the tears from my eyes “be careful Imani” standing up from the seat, my heart just fell seeing Imani to begin with. She is just Chris all over, her personality and her face “mommy I want snack” my daughter is none the wiser, and I can’t help but cry and that is because of Imani “mom” Rylee ran to me, she clung to me and so did Tianna “I love you girls so much” I know they want answers, they are so confused, bless them “please stop crying” Tianna said, she is right I need too but I don’t know what is happening to my husband, I am so out of the loop.

Jen and Rich both arrived at my home like Rorrey said, my brother was so concerned for me, and I don’t blame him because I would be the same with anyone else, Jen helped me leave with the kids even though the kids are clinging onto me, they know something is wrong. They keep asking me and they are such bright girls, I swear we raised such good girls “mom, you can tell me if something is wrong” looking at my daughter, Rylee is just wanting to be there for me, but I should be there for her “I want to ask you, how did you see that page? Tell me now” I don’t understand how they even saw that or go to that point “we were trying to call dad again and then dad always said if you want to know what happens with mommy, Google her. So I did and I saw that, it said dad name and bad things, so we clicked on it and then the video showing lots and lots of lights, and someone kept shouting Chris Brown and then we see dad, he was on the video, but Tianna got upset because there is blood. Is dad ok?” I swallowed hard “he’s ok” I lied “let me speak to your mom” Jen came up from behind Rylee, I am wondering what is on that video now, but I don’t want to see it “I saw the video” Jen said at the side of me, looking at her “I just don’t know what to think, he was supposed to come home today. It’s like god is trying to take him away from me and nobody called to tell me, at all! Like why not, I don’t understand but what is on the video?” I don’t want to see it “lots of shouting and someone screaming, it was hard to watch. It’s like someone hit into the car on the passenger side, and then the next they are shout that’s Chris Brown, lots of lights around, ambulances and police and then the next you see a male, I think from what it looks like. It was Chris, blood around him but they rushed him into the ambulance” I can’t take this.

It’s like everyone knows about my husband but me, it’s like I am the last to know or that I am nothing to him. Everything is a mess, and I don’t know if his parents know but I have just got to the hospital and like expected, it’s filled with people outside. I don’t want their sympathy I just want to see what has happened to my husband, I know Jen has said if it is really bad then they would contact me but would they, is she sure about that. I am in protective mode right now “lots of people mommy” Tianna pointed at the car window “I want my daughters carried inside Rich” I said to him “well me and Frank are here, so if Jen also takes one inside then I can come back for you” I guess that could work “I would but look who’s here” Jen pointed “uncle roro! Roro!” Imani joined in with her sisters, Rorrey just came out without a care pushing the paparazzi out of the way “no, don’t put the window down” I said, Rorrey opened the door “let’s just do thig” Rich said getting out of the car, I want to just get inside.

Hugging Rorrey as we got inside the hospital “they won’t tell us anything or get on the department he is on, we have been here just waiting around” I am upset but I am now on I want to know what the fuck is happening to my husband, Jen has been talking to me and building me up. I have been ignoring my phone and just concentrating what is infront of me, which is my husband “it’s ok” moving back from the hug “Mel” hugging her “TJ has been trying, she called Joyce and Clinton to get them to come, they are heartbroken, they won’t speak to us at all. It’s like they won’t speak to us but yet the paparazzi know shit” shaking my head “girls, you going to with aunties and uncles, mommy will be back” Tianna slowly made her way to me “I want to go with you” she mumbled, shaking my head “I will be back baby, I just need to do something” Rorrey picked her up “where is my hug?” looking at Rich as I turned on my heels, walking off to the reception. I need to know what the fuck be happening, why is my family here and not where my husband is. I am pissed off to be honest, why wasn’t I called. The receptionist looked at Rich and then me “my husband, he came here last night” she looked at me all wide eyed “your husband’s name?” she asked, why the fuck is she asking me that when she knows “you know who the fuck I am” I snapped “I am sorry but patient confidentiality I can’t jump to conclusion, I understand you’re upset but I have to act neutral” they are full of shit “you speaking on that when your people are speaking on my husband to the paparazzi out there!? Really?” they are full of shit “and everything that is being said is wrong, nobody is speaking to the paparazzi out there, if we can just calm down and I can help you” I want to scream “Chris Brown, he arrived last night. I want to know why I wasn’t informed!? Nobody called me either” the receptionist looked at her computer, she is just doing that for the fun of it now “date of birth now” I swear to god “fifth, fifth, eighty nine. I am his wife” I added “Robyn, we did try and call you on the number on file but the number was a dead line” I groaned out, fucking Chris is useless “it’s on file we tried, I rather not speak on what is happening and it’s best to put you in a private setting, Chris is currently on the Neurology department” my heart dropped just hearing that, I near passed out but Rich held me up.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Chrianna Fanfic #Chrianna Fanfiction

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jawritter · 4 years

Text

The Arrangement

Part 12

Summery: You are a young girl that was raised in a small church in Dallas, TX. One of the only churches left in the state that still practices arranged marriages. When your betrothed ran off to California you thought you'd escape the fate you were trained for ever since a small child. Now upon the death your parents your fate seemed to be inescapable as he's returned, and is ready to take you as his bride.

Book Warnings: Arranged marriage, loss of virginity, smut, unprotected sex, angst, language, suicide attempt, battles with anxiety, struggles with mental illness, age gap (about 11 years), I think that’s it, chapters will have warnings of their own!

Chapter Warnings: Heavy trigger warning!!! Suicide attempt!! Angst, caught in your own head, feelings of abandoment, depression, grief, this one is rough guys.

Word Count: 2377

A/N: This book is a book about Christian and church based arranged marriages, I would like to take this moment to say that I DO NOT have ANYTHING against the Chirstian faith, and mean absolutely no harm to anyone! Especially Jensen’s family! This is a complete work of fiction, and should be treated as such!

Beta’d by the amazing @deanwanddamons who was awesome enough to do all this for me! It was a lot of work, and she deserves all the praise for it!!

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Want More? Check Out My Masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***SERIES MASTERLIST***

It had been three days since your fight with Jensen.

When he slammed the bedroom door after you had slapped him, he got his keys, walked out the door, and did not come back.

You didn't know where he'd gone.You didn't try to contact him . If the truth were told, you hadn't really moved from your spot in your now cold, and very lonely bed, unless absolutely necessary.

The air around you hung in a deafening silence . Who the hell knew silence could be so loud?

You didn't bother turning on theTV.You hadn't bothered to eat, and only drank a little bit of water. You’dsurvive, it just wasn’t there anymore.

You were too big of a coward to take your own life, though the thought had crossed your mind.

If you were dead, Jensen wouldn't have to be burdened with you anymore. He could go back to what he wanted to do. Not like there would be anyone around to miss you anyway.

Still, you were too big of a coward to 'pull the trigger'. So you just laid there, and prayed for death to find you on it's own. Prayed that you'd drift off to sleep, and never wake up again.

It didn't happen.

Every morning you woke up to a fresh, and even deeper pain; and the realization that Jensen probably wasn't coming home.

Sitting up on the side of the bed, you stared around the room. It was so cold, but you didn't care. It matched how you felt on the inside. You had cried until you didn't have any tears left to cry. Until everything in and around you felt numb.

In most homes, you would walk through the house and see pictures of your wedding day, family, friends; even your parents' home had all those things.

This place had none of that for you and Jensen.

You would see kids toys scattered around in some homes. You and Jensen had no children together, and Danneel had three of his.

This house felt 'lived in'. All your things were there, along with his, but even though it was lived in, it wasn't a home.

It didn't hold the feeling of home the way your parents house had. There were no memories of times with friends, no family dinners, or holidays, nothing.

You had fooled yourself into thinking this marriage with Jensen was a real marriage. Was even stupid enough to let yourself fall in love with him.

Now you were staring reality straight in the face. You had nothing together. You just shared a bed and had sex on occasion.

Getting out of bed, you dragged your way to the bathroom. Standing in front of the sink, you stared at the mirror. You didn't recognize the woman that stood there, staring back at you.

Her eyes almost looked sunk into her skull. She was pale, almost a chalk white color. Her eyes were red and swollen around the eyelids. Her lips were cracked and had been bleeding, probably from lack of food or water. Her hair was an absolute mess.

She looked like a dead person that was to stupid to know they had died. So they were still standing there.

That's what you felt like. You felt like you had died, you weren't really there. You were living, but you weren't alive.

You died the moment he walked out of the door.

Every time you closed your eyes you saw the look on Jensen's face after you had slapped him. Before the guilt could really grip you, the picture of Danneel and him locked at the mouth would flash before your mind, and shot down the guilt.

For a moment anyway.

The eternal war continued to rage on inside of you as you made your way back to the bed, pulling the cold sheets back and crawling in. You closed your eyes and begged whatever God was listening, cause at this point you weren't even sure there was one, to just let you die this time. You couldn't handle another day like this. Another day of crippling heartache, and a loneliness on a scale you could have never imagined existed.

Jensen's POV:

Jensen sat on the back porch of Jared and Gen's house, more than a little drunk. At first when he left the house the day of their fight Jensen had been angrier than he'd ever been in his life. He told her he loved her and she literally slapped him in the face.

That anger quickly turned to hurt.

Rejection wasn't something he was used to. Most women threw themselves at him willingly. That wasn't really it either. What was the real slap in the face was that Y/N didn't trust him, and didn't believe him, not only when he told her he did nothing wrong, but also when he told her that he loved her. That’s the part that hurt the most.

No matter how angry he got, he couldn't deny the feelings he'd come to accept regarding his wife.

He'd picked up the phone, looking down at it, almost willing it to ring. Nothing. So for the hundredth time he called. It rang and rang. Nothing, only voicemail.

Slamming the phone down on the table, pulled at his hair harshly before he downed the rest of the scotch in his hand. He was well on the way to drinking himself into passing out for the third night in a row. It was the only way he could sleep without seeing the hurt look on Y/N’s face when she looked up at him from the kitchen table that day.

Jensen heard Jared pull the chair away from the table he was sitting at, and sit down next to him. He didn't bother looking at him, just continued to stare at the empty dark pool in front of him.

Jared didn't really care for Y/N. He always thought she was just using his friend for his money, but right now, looking at his best friend and watching him literally try to drink himself to death, he wished more than anything she'd call and ask him to come home.

He may not like her, but Jensen obviously loved her, and he didn't like to see him this way.

"Jensen, what if I send Gen over there, check on her, get a feel for things? You can't keep hiding out here drinking man. You gotta fix this."

"I don't want Gen going over there, and making this shit worse. She doesn't know you guys, and the last time she was here you didn't exactly go out of your way to make her feel welcomed." Jensen mumbled, alcohol loosening his tongue to the point he wasn't worried about sparing feelings.

"You’re right, I didn't, and I'm sorry for that. I was just looking out for you, but Jay, man, if you love her that much you're not going to be able to sit here, and drink this mess Danneel has created away. You filed a restraining order, and you have the paperwork to prove it. Go show it to Y/N. Prove to her that it wasn't what it looked like."

Taking a deep breath, Jensen nodded his head. "Okay, yeah I got paperwork now. Maybe she will see I really don't want anything to do with that bitch."

Jensen blinked hard, trying to hold back tears that threatened at the edges of his eyes.

"I can't lose her Jar. I just can't."

Before he could finish the sentence, Jared had reached up and grabbed his friend, pulling him into a bone crushing hug.

"Let's get you some coffee, and something to eat so you can sober up.Then you need to go home and make this shit right Jay, for her, but also for yourself."

Your POV:

Day four of Jensen being gone dawned early for you.

You had woken up once again, much to your dismay. Trudging your way to the bathroom you felt utterly numb, everything in you felt numb, from your insides, working it's way out. You had hit your breaking point. Your body craved Jensen's contact like a dying person craved oxygen, and to be honest you were tired of feeling the way you were feeling.

Thoughts rolled through your mind without your consent.

Was he with Danneel? Was he sleeping with her now? Did he just abandon you because he didn’t care about you anymore? Why didn’t he come home? Why is this all happening to you? Why couldn't’ you have just been more like her? Maybe then he would still be here. Maybe then he could have loved you, the way you loved him.

Ever since your parents passed away, there was nothing in this world left for you that loved you. The church had abandoned you, you had no friends, now you didn't even have Jensen. Walking to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom you searched through whatever you could find to numb the pain. There was nothing. Not even a fucking Advil.

How was it possible to hurt so much, yet be so damn numb? It didn’t even make sense.

Staggering back to the bedroom, you began to search through drawers and night stands. Maybe there was something left that would kill this headache stashed somewhere.

Finally you found your prize. A full bottle of adult Motrin. 100 tablets in all, seal not even broken. Looking at the bottle you turn it over in your hands, taking four of them at once.... Then the thought hit you.

'You’re not good enough for Jensen. Do him a favor, down this whole bottle and go back to bed. Then you will be out of his way. No longer a burden, and out of your own miserable existence.'

Standing there just turning the bottle over in your hands, you weighed up your opinions.

Yeah you were way too chicken to literally shoot yourself. This though, this was easy. Just take the pills, go to sleep.

Your heart ached in your chest. You could still hear the sound of your hand connecting with his face, the sound of the door slamming to the bedroom, then the front door. Everything you've been through, this was it. This was your limit. You wanted out. This was the only way.

Grabbing a bottle of water you start taking fistfuls of pills. You don't know how many you finally successfully swallowed, but you finally got it down to only a small amount of pills left in the bottle when you just couldn’t take anymore.

Grabbing his notebook from the bedside table, and a pen you wrote quickly.

‘I'm so sorry I was a burden to you. You can go be free now. I did love you. I'm sorry you couldn't feel the same.’

Sitting it down next to the bed, you crawled back under the covers, and waited for sleep, or death to take you. There was no turning back now, not even if you wanted to. Grabbing your phone you quickly googled a picture of him. He was smiling, happy. It was before he met you. You were doing this for him. He deserved to be free of you. Free to be happy. The last thing you saw before your eyes closed was his beautiful face. That's the way you wanted it....

---------------------------------------------------

Jensen's POV:

Jensen wanted to come home last night.Only problem was, he couldn't sober up enough, and he knew coming home to try and make things right between the two of you while drunk wasn't the best idea; so he slept it off and took off for the house as soon as the sun came up. Even though he had a pounding headache, and his stomach was in knots he didn’t care, hangover be damned, he had to make this right between the two of you. He couldn’t take the distance anymore.

His heart hammered in his chest the whole way home.Something deep down inside of him screamed something was very wrong, but he shoved it off, doing all he could to convince himself everything was going to be okay.

Pulling up into the driveway, he saw no lights on inside the house. 'She must still be sleeping.' he thought to himself.

Slowly, he made his way out of the door of the car and up the driveway. No sound was coming from inside the house, no TV, nothing. Which was normal while people slept, but something just didn't sit right in him. Something was wrong.

Slipping his key into the doorknob, he unlocked the door and took a step inside the house, closing the door quietly behind him.

The only light in the house was the light coming through the windows. Still,he could see everything was the same as he left it when he walked out of the front door four days ago. His heart started to hammer in his chest loud enough to pulse through his ears.

Walking through the kitchen, he could still see pots on the stove she had taken out that day to start dinner, empty, and untouched. Walking through the bottom floor she was nowhere to be found.

"God please let her still be here." he said to himself as he started to climb the stairs towards the bedroom.

The silence in the house seemed so thick he could cut it with a knife. Something was wrong. Every fiber of his being was screaming it. His breath was coming in short, quick bursts. Fear gripped him in a way nothing ever had before. Reaching the landing, he opened the door to the master bedroom slowly.

The lights were off in the bedroom, but he could clearly see her figure outlined underneath the covers. For just a moment he took a deep sigh of relief. She was just asleep.

Closing the door quietly, he walked over to the side of the bed. Her back was to him, the covers pulled up over to neck. Standing there looking at her he internally kicked himself for not coming home to her sooner.

Reaching his hand out he brushed the hair away from her face. "Y/N?"

Nothing. She must be really asleep. Putting his hand on her shoulder. He shook her in earnest how. "Y/N... Baby wake up.. We need to talk..."

Nothing...

Something wasn't right.

His heart started to hammer in his chest again. He felt like he was taking his breath through a straw. Shaking hard, he reached over and turned the lamp light on by the bed.

The first thing he saw as the light flooded the room was his notepad open, and her handwriting that was on it.

‘I'm so sorry I was a burden to you. You can go be free now. I did love you. I'm sorry you couldn't feel the same.’

At first his mind couldn't compute... Then it started to sink in. Panic grabbing him tight in his chest as he ripped the covers off her, shaking her hard.

"Y/N! Wake up!! Come on baby, please!!"

Putting his head down by her face he could feel no breath coming from her body.

His heart seized up in his chest, shaking her lifeless body in his arms, screaming inaudibly.

He couldn't take the thought that she was gone. It was all his fault, he left her here, he abandoned her, he was all she had, and she took her own life because of him.

Grabbing his phone from his pocket,his eyes blurred as uncensored tears poured down his face. Every breath seemed to come out as a scream.

"911, what is your emergency?"

Jensen tried to make his voice work, but all that would come out was strangled noises and screams. He held her close to him, desperately trying to wake her up.

"Sir, please calm down.. What is your emergency? I can't help you if you won't calm down.."

Taking a deep breath he was finally able to make his voice work in a noise that wasn't a scream.

"My wife.. Please send help. I can't wake her up. I think she's..."

He couldn't finish the sentence. Throwing the phone down on the ground without hanging up, he pressed her body as close to his as he could, burying his face in her hair, begging her, God, and whoever would listen that she would wake up for him.

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Tag List: @deanwanddamons @imabitch4jensen @rvgrsbrns @bi-danvers0 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @akshi8278 @lyss-dw79 @magssteenkamp @lemondropirwin @squirrelnotsam @hobby27 @spnbaby-67 @mrsjenniferwinchester @defenderrosetyler @screechingartisancashbailiff @thecreatiivecorner @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624 @busy-bee-angel-misska @justanotherwinchester @brilovesdeanwinchester @idksupernatural @lyarr24 @amandamdiehl

#jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles series #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fanfic #jensen x reader #jensen x you #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #dean winchester #jawritter #x reader inserts #jawritter 1k celebration #the arrangement

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doc-pickles · 4 years

Text

things just happened (and so did you)

I started this literally in a manic state at like... midnight when I couldn’t sleep. Then I completed it during a 112 degree heat wave so there’s obviously a lot happening here.

Anywaaaaaays I decided to rewrite 14x08 and 14x09 (Out of Nowhere & 1-800-799-7233) because while these episodes are LITERALLY flawless there’s something that every episode of Grey’s could use and that is babies.

This will be a two shot with the second half coming sometime later this week (we’ll see how my brain decides to work) but I hope you guys enjoy it!

xoxo Nina

Jo’s morning isn’t starting off great. First day as Chief Resident and not only does she not have the respect of her coworkers, she’s got a migraine that’s burning itself into her skull. She sent everyone off where they need to be and then barricaded herself in a supply closet. The darkness of the small room bringing her a tiny amount of relief.

“Jo? You in here?”

Shit. Alex…

Suddenly she remembers that she was supposed to be working on a case with Alex this morning. He mentioned it last night as they’d curled up in bed together but with her hectic morning it had completely slipped her mind.

“Hey,” Jo lifted her hand weakly as Alex finally stepped into her line of sight. “I’m sorry, I totally spaced on our case together. I have a migraine and I’m stressed out beyond belief. This whole Chief Resident thing is taking its toll on me.”

Alex looped his arm around Jo’s shoulder, bringing her into a hug she hadn’t realized she’d needed. A deep breath escaped her and before she could comprehend what was happening, Jo was quietly crying into Alex’s shoulder. He took it in stride, rubbing her back and quietly reminding her to breathe.

“What’s up with you, this is more than just first day jitters,” Alex pulled back, eyes raking over Jo as one hand came up to brush away the tears that had collected on her cheeks. “Are you okay? Talk to me.”

Jo was about to answer him when the past week played over again in her mind. Her emotions had been all over the place, she hadn’t been able to sleep, and her period was late. All three things she had just chalked up to stress and the price of being a perfectionist. Now though, as she stood crying in a supply closet, Jo thought something else might be amiss.

“I… I don’t know,” Jo bit back the urge to tell Alex her suspicion, not wanting to unintentionally spook him. “I’m gonna find some pain killers and then I’ll meet you in Frankie's room?”

Accepting her answer easily enough, probably because the plan involved seeing him again so soon, Alex pressed a chaste kiss to Jo’s lips before leaving her be. Once she was alone, she rummaged around the shelves for a moment before coming up with pain killers for her head and two pregnancy tests. She knew Alex would start to wonder about her whereabouts if she didn’t show up soon, but the anxiety of not knowing pushed Jo to run to the restroom first.

Whatever the outcome, you will be fine. You’re Jo Wilson, you’ve got this.

Jo breezed into Frankie’s room a few minutes later, face flushed as she took in Helm, Alex, and Frankie's mom all staring at her. She waved her hand at them, promptly asking Helm to present the case. She could feel Alex’s gaze on her as Helm talked, but she tried her best to ignore it.

“Good job Helm, now you can see if mom has any questions,” Jo gestured to Frankie’s mom, who was eyeing Alex appreciatively. “Mrs. Baner? Any questions for us?”

“Not today, just take care of my baby,” she ran a hand through her son's hair, smiling at him before turning to Jo. “He’s the light of my life, I want to make sure you all give him the best care. Do you have children Doctor Wilson?”

Jo’s eyes widened as she stared at the woman with a stunned expression. The question had shocked her, her brain suddenly unsure of how to answer. Her uncharacteristic delay was only made worse when both Alex and Helm turned to her quizzically.

“Um no,” Jo voiced much quieter than normal, her heart beating erratically as her fingers slipped into her lab coat and grasped the two plastic sticks in her pocket. “No, I don’t have children yet. But I can assure you that Doctor Karev and I will take excellent care of Frankie. He’s one of the best peds surgeons so you’re in good hands. If I had kids, I’d want him to take care of them.”

“I have to agree with you Doctor Wilson, we do love having Doctor Karev around,” Mrs. Baner added looking at Alex with that smirk again. Jo could sense Alex gawking at her, this time not trying (but failing) to hide the fact. “Well thank you for stopping by doctors.”

Jo turned and exited the room without a goodbye, hearing Alex wrap up the pleasantries as she began to walk further and further down the hall. Her chest was constricting, a swell of burning nausea rising up her esophagus as she heard Alex calling her name from behind.

“Jo! Hey,” Alex huffs, finally catching up with her. Resting his strong hand on her shoulder as he steered her into an empty exam room. “You’re acting really weird, you kinda freaked back there. Will you please tell me what’s wrong?”

“I’m fi-”

“You’re not fine, Jo. I know you better than I know myself,” Alex brushed away a stray hair from Jo’s eyes as she fought back the urge to cry. “Babe, I’m worried about you. If it’s just nerves then fine, but I think it’s more than that.”

Not trusting herself to say something coherent, Jo lifted the pregnancy tests from her pocket and placed them in Alex’s hand. She hadn’t removed her own hand from on top of his, but the wide eyed look he gave her told Jo that Alex knew exactly what she’d given him.

“I haven’t looked at them yet,” Jo could feel the tears welling in her eyes finally spill over as she looked up at Alex. “That’s why I didn’t know how to answer Frankie’s mom. Because I hadn’t looked at the pregnancy tests I just took.”

“Oh,” Alex blinked, his free hand wrapping around Jo’s waist and rubbing her back softly. “Do you… do you want me to look?”

Staring at Alex deeply she finally allowed herself to actually consider the situation. She was, for the first time in her life, finally at a place where a baby wouldn’t be an inconvenience or a problem. She was loved by this amazing man in front of her and she had a job where she was excelling. So really she had no real reason to worry about bringing a child into the world. It was a safe and stable world that she had worked so hard to build.

“You look, I trust you,” Jo lifted her hand from on top of Alex’s and watched his face closely as he turned over both plastic sticks. His expression remained unchanged, eyes moving back up to meet Jo’s. “Well?”

Alex didn’t say anything as he moved his hand from Jo’s back to her stomach, a small grin breaking on his face.

“Surprise.”

Jo can’t help the combination of tears and laughter that flow out of her as she reached up to kiss Alex sweetly. His hand is still pressed against her abdomen as he’s laughs along with her.

“I guess that’s one way to celebrate you coming back home,” Jo raised her eyebrows suggestively, hinting at the night that they’d conceived as giggles burst between every few words. “Good surprise right?”

“The best I could’ve asked for,” Alex assured Jo as he kissed her again, a groan escaping from his lips as his pager began to beep. His eyes darted to the device, brows furrowing as he leaned back from Jo. “It’s Frankie, I gotta go. I’ll page you if I need you, okay?”

Jo nodded, relishing in the feeling of Alex’s fingers trailing over her still flat stomach as he hesitated pulling away from her.

“Go, sick kids need you,” Jo laughed as she ushered Alex away, squeezing his hand as he finally stepped out the door. “I’ll see you soon.”

Soon happens to be ten minutes later, Jo receiving a 911 page from Alex that has her speed walking across the hospital to get to Frankie’s room. Alex and Helm are arguing in the hall, an angry expression on his face as he listens to the fumbling intern.

“I-I-I don't know what the…,” Jo approaches the duo as Helm stutters out an excuse. “I can’t, I don’t know!”

“What’s happening here?”

“Frankie’s had a headache for awhile,” Alex sighed as he looked from Helm to Jo. Even pissed off, Alex's eyes immediately went to Jo’s midsection, which made her blush. “Now we’re trying to figure out if he got Vitamin K last night or not.”

Jo rolled her eyes and grabbed the tablet from Helm, punching in her login as she spoke to the intern.

“He's asking you what he was given last, something to thin his blood or make it clot?”

“I know that. I-I can't open his chart,” Jo tried her login again as Helm explained to Alex what her issue was, but it failed once again. “The screen is locked.”

Jo peered up at Alex, nodding to confirm what Helm had just relayed. An angry groan sounded from Alex, his fist pounding against the wall as he let out a breath of frustration.

“Okay Helm, prep Frankie for a CT so we can see if we have an issue. And page Shepherd please,” Helm nodded and ran off, Jo looking for instruction from Alex, who was focused on her. “Can you talk to the nurses and see if any of them gave Frankie his injection? I don’t know what’s happening with the computers, but I don’t wanna take chances here.”

“I’ve got you covered, you go make sure he gets his CT,” Jo moved to walk away, but Alex grabbed at her hand so she was pulled into his embrace. His body was still tense with anger, but his eyes were scanning her with concern. After a few beats she asked, “What’s wrong?”

She knew Alex well enough to know that it wasn’t just Frankie clouding his mind. Jo watched for a change in his expression, but none came.

“Nothing just… be careful?”

“Now you’re going soft on me,” Jo chuckled as she leaned up and pecked Alex’s lips, pulling away and beginning to walk down the hall. “We’ll be back soon!”

Fortunately Frankie’s CT scans were clear, but back in his room he immediately began vomiting from the headache. Alex was worried, but tried not to show it for Frankie and his mom's sake. His mind was running a million miles a minute as he went through everything that had happened since he’d clocked in that morning. The hospital was under a cyber attack – hence being locked out of the system earlier, his patient was quite possibly on the verge of a stroke, and he was going to be a father soon. Alex pushed everything irrelevant to the side however as he sat beside Frankie and pulled the little boy into his side.

“I feel like I'm gonna die,” he bemoaned, his tiny head falling against Alex’s chest in exhaustion.

“What? You're not gonna die.”

“Will you do me a favor?,” Alex looked down to Frankie, who wore a serious expression as he glanced up at Alex.

“Anything.”

“If I die... will you marry my mom,” Alex laughed at Frankie’s request, but the boy continued talking. “She really likes you. And I know she'll be safe.”

“You're not gonna die,” Alex stated again. He looked around the room, assuring no one else was around, and leaned down to look at Frankie in excitement. “But you wanna know a secret?”

“What?”

“I can’t marry your mom, because I’m gonna have a baby soon,” Frankie’s eyes widened as he processed Alex’s news. It felt good to get the secret out in the open, even to one of his patients. “Yup, I’m having a baby with Doctor Jo.”

“Well… if you can’t marry my mom, I think Doctor Jo is a good choice,” Frankie barely got the words out before he began heaving again, Alex rubbing his back as he leaned over the basin.

In all honesty he hadn’t been sure at first if he was ready for fatherhood. Of course Alex had been overjoyed that he and Jo had made a new life, but there was a lingering doubt in the back of his mind that any child of his would come out just as screwed up as him. But sitting here now making sure that Frankie made it through the day, Alex was almost certain that he was ready for whatever challenges being a parent would bring.

Jo felt like she’d talked to every nurse in the hospital at this point. After going through the grapevine, she’d finally found a solid answer and was racing back to the Pediatric Ward to deliver her news to Alex. For some reason he wasn’t answering his phone and her texts left bouncing back instead of sending. The nausea that had been lingering all day was finally rearing its ugly head, but Jo pushed on, figuring she would have time to vomit after she saved Frankie’s life.

Her feet tapping impatiently on the elevator floor, she checked her phone to see if any of her messages had gone through. With a hand firmly pressed on her stomach, she closed her eyes as she bit back the bile rising in her throat. As the ancient elevators crawled upwards she realized she was still for the first time all day. This only made her even more aware of the escalating physical symptoms threatening to consume her.

Finally, the elevator beeped as she arrived on the surgical floor. Jo’s eyes flew open and she all but ran from the metal box on her course for Alex and Frankie. She made it about three feet before a solid body blocked her path, finely tailored suit jacket and pressed linen pants coming into her view.

“Hey Brooke.” Jo froze in horror, mouth slightly ajar as her gaze moved upwards to meet the dark green eyes of the man she’d tried so desperately to forget. She took in the face that haunted her nightmares, the one that sent her screaming and crying into Alex’s arms at 2 AM. He looked older, his face worn by time, but still handsome as ever. The signature devilish grin plastered on his face sending an electric shock down her spine. Like a grotesque halloween mask, it was the same face he would give her before pummeling her into the darkness.

Her breath caught in her throat as time seemed to stop around her. She forgot about Alex and Frankie, her baby, everything that had happened today as the world around her shrunk down to her and the man in front of her.

Paul. Paul had found her.

#alex karev #jo karev #jo wilson karev #jolex #jolex fanfic #greys fanfic #greys anatomy #jo x alex #nina writes

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seamistan · 4 years

Note

if it is not selfish of me to ask, i would like pregnancy headcanons and also parenting headcanons bc i’m SCREAMING 🥺

SO this took about 2/3 days to think and plan out and I even got really excited and even did research efjknefjkfsdnkbsdf

this ended up being more about the actual pregnancy BUT I will totally write more specific to Parents!seamista if anyone wanted me to 🥺

(Putting this under a read more because it’s long as hell snfldfnk)

Okay so from where I last left off in this post, Salineas is now expecting an unexpected heir!

At this point, It’s like I wanna say around ~2/3ish months into everything since I assume she would have found out at around 5 weeks, so they’re at the very end of the first trimester (12 weeks) anyway, Mermista is still nauseous as all hell but for whatever reason I don’t think she’s not going into full vomiting territory and again, big suffering. However, at this point Sea Hawk has taken a leave from adventuring to be there with his girl to support her in whatever she needs- including helping out with some royal duties. Now normally, Mermista would never ever trust him with this level of responsibility but at certain points she just feels so shitty and tired there is literally no other choice but to give the responsibility to someone who’s not her. So sometimes Sea Hawk settles some disputes between citizens and opens a few rebuilt buildings, and attends princess council meetings with Mermista on the other side of one of bow’s tablets. (unrelated, but I found out that the theorized cause of morning sickness would be the body’s reaction to Hcg and since Sea Hawk is (assumed) fully etherian and mermista is like, not I would think she’d have a more adverse reaction to it asjdbjaddansd but again, she’s not like violently throwing up -I think because of her connection to her runestone protecting her from it being as bad as it could be)

Also, Mermista gets real bad mood swings early into the whole endeavor (they eventually go away when the nausea does). Poor Sea Hawk even temporarily stops singing shanties to keep her spirits from dampening. Upon realizing that she made him stop singing she bursts into tears, only to later be soothed by a shanty about how lovely her hair is. Go Figure. To cope with the mood swings, Sea Hawk suggests she pick up knitting again since she loved it so much whenever she first tried it. She’d dropped it whenever the war with Horde prime began since it was so hard to find yarn and to care about generally anything else other than the impending doom. So, mermista picks up knitting again, and holy shit,,, she loves it. Something about just checking out for a while and just concentrating on every stitch and being able to make something beautiful is just. everything she wanted. So throughout the entire 9 months she’s just dropping off random baby blankets, clothes, socks, even a little knitted Sea-Ra doll and a knit Dragon’s Daughter replica into the basket she keeps next to their bed. She even attempts to knit Sea Hawk a bandanna for shits and giggles but he ends up loving it and wears it around Salineas despite the sweltering heat of the summer. Towards the end of it, she gets really complex and knits some beautiful little sweaters that whenever Sea Hawk shows them off to everyone (swift wind and bow) they kind of shyly ask if they can have one. And that’s how the Best Friend squad ends up with matching sweaters.

So in my last post I kinda just said that the doctors/midwife/etc equivalent was the sorcerers on Mystacor and you know what? I stand by that lmao. Anyway so either they have to go up to Mystacor every week or they have a sorcerer come to live in Salineas for the whole pregnancy, either way they use ~magic~ to basically do an ultrasound (again, I literally cannot decide if there’s doctors on etheria??? I don’t know but this is what I’m going with) So anyway. Both of them collectively lose their minds and completely ugly cry whenever they both see the child ™ for the first time, but then evemtually Mermista kinda accepts it and is (mostly) okay whenever they see the baby, but Sea Hawk cries every. Single. Time. It kinda drives Mermista a little mad but it’s so sweet that she can’t get actually upset. After all, these appointments and all the little things they do to prepare are what he has to really remember they’re bringing a whole new little life onto Etheria.

Something neither of them really expected is the fact that Mermista gets horrible pregnancy brain around 5 months and from then on. It’s never really super debilitating, but for her, and her usual sharp wit and ability to see whatever’s coming next, it gets real annoying real fast. It’s mostly just her forgetting little stuff, like her next appointment with the sorcerer, or when there’s a meeting scheduled, or whenever she has plans with her friends. The worst of it was when it completely slipped her mind that she had a major meeting with the rebuild salineas group and she had to the next week pretending she knew what was going on with all of that. She eventually figures it out, and she and Sea Hawk end up forming a system- the system being that Sea Hawk is with her during all meetings, appointments and important conversation, and he reminds all of the staff when she has a major appointment. However, she still has trouble concentrating and remembering stuff like where she left her trident (next to the bed) and where her earrings went (Sea Hawk actually took those)

Around 7 or 8 months in the princesses (mostly Glimmer’s idea) throw her a surprise baby shower to not only congratulate her on the baby but to also for the work she had been doing to rebuild and maintain Salineas. They receive so many lovely gifts, but none as lovely as the gift from Sea Hawk himself- He commissioned an absolutely lovely crib decorated with pearls, shells and sea glass and painted with all of Mermista’s favorite Sea Flowers, and little boats with mermaids swimming next to them. And In the middle, in first ones’ writing it read simply “Adventure”. Upon seeing it, Mermista cried for about 20 minutes. and then got upset with him for keeping the shower a secret, realized how sweet it was; then cried again.

Well into her second trimester, and close to the third, Mermista is still on her feet after recovering from the initial nausea of it all and running around to meetings, appointments, and all over the kingdom. Sea Hawk, while he had been trying his best not to be over-protective of her due to her condition, really couldn’t ignore when Mermista collapses on the way to Sea Elf village. When he discovers so and confronts her about it, she confesses that she knows she had been absolutely overdoing it for weeks now, but really really wanted to prove that she could still do all of her princess duties. Not really for anyone else, the war had pretty much proved to everyone how capable she is, but mostly for herself. Sea Hawk has a long talk with her that he hopes she knows how capable she is, how brave and wonderful and a fantastic leader she has been; but taking care of herself and their child has to come first. Grudgingly, Mermista tells him she had a hard time admitting to herself overdoing it for her meant overdoing it for both of them. They agree that Sea Hawk would become her proxy once again.

Whenever she has to deliver, Sea Hawk is the picture of support. No shanties, drama or anything but pure warmth and empathy. He’s stoic and calm and attentive to everything going on. Mermista actually ends up being the one in (mild) hysterics suddenly completely realizing again that she’s going to be a mother and crying and freaking out about it. It takes Sea Hawk looking sternly into her eyes and reminding her that she’s literally the coolest and most wonderful person ever and also is the great and mighty Sea-Ra. Nothing could keep her absolutely being fantastic at this too. Wasn’t this the most epic adventure they’d ever go on?

and here’s some one sentence hc’s I couldn’t figure out how to fit in here sdjkjksdn;

-They don’t find out the sex beforehand they want to be surprised

- Whenever Mermista goes into her knitting habit, Sea Hawk picks up sewing again, as he had when he was younger and sews toys and clothing for the little one, while Mermista knits. between the two of them, the baby’s wardrobe is almost completely handmade.

- When the due date gets close, Sea Hawk is literally walking on air. Cheery, excited absolutely lovestruck and exhilirated to be so close to being a father.

- In the delivery room, before her freak out, she quietly asks sea hawk if he could tell her some stories of his escapades to distract her whenever the pain gets to be too much to bear. He obliges, and recalls their first time meeting, their first battle together, and loads of other sweet stories that almost drive her to tears again (god, she’s so excited to not cry every 2 minutes)

- Spinnerella and Netossa, and even Micah give their baby some hand me down toys and clothing. It’s the sweetest gesture.

safbjkbsdfkbjsdf this is so long if you read all the way down here thank you so much

#tw tokophobia #tw emetophobia #just to make sure!#myhcs #asks #caliibee #seamista

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zerguette · 3 years

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‘’The lucky protoss’’

(Bad english and my protoss oc’s are here) The squad of 3 idiots and one little protoss was walking on the great palace of the tribe Do’raymer, everything seems to be okay until Kalyn, the biggest one, hold Zerguette’s righ arm to say ‘’Zergy! can you please take the advantage? we’ll arrive later’’, the femenine who was the queen of the Do’rayme tribe just acept lefting Kalyn and the others behind and just continue walking dissapearing in the palace. The other two protoss left, Tamur and Teldexha, were confused.

‘‘Kalyn, what’s going on?’‘ Teldexha ask with a lot of interest of what was happening. ‘‘Big idiot, what’s on your mind now?’‘ Tamur ask too and fearing a little that he already knows what Kalyn is gonna to do. The little one Teldexha and the nerazim Tamur were focused on Kalyn, one of the two has his doubts and the other one just wants to know.

‘’Let’s say that....I will say the true to Zerguette!!’‘ The big one protoss exclaim with happines on his eyes. ‘‘The true? What true are you go-’‘ Tamur was in some way angry replying to Kalyn but then realizing that ‘‘WAIT! Don’t tell you’re gonna-’‘

‘‘YES! I’m gonna tell Zerguette that I love her!!’‘ Kalyn shouted interrupting Tamur and with that the nerazim start laughing a lot ‘‘Y-YOU LITERALLY DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT YOU DON’T HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY! HAHAHA’‘, the nerazim can’t stop laughing until Teldexha kick him in his ‘‘delicate’‘ part of his body. ‘‘Can someone explain me why we have this idiot in the squad?’‘ Teldexha ask very angry trying to not explode of a lot of angery.

‘‘Hehe, just left him I’m okay’‘ Kalyn say very calm and then start making a pose seeing the stars ‘‘Now I just have to tell Zerguette how much I love her..ahh...I can imagine her with me fighting and then loving each other’‘, it was clear that the tall and big protoss was in love with the queen.

‘‘Kalyn, theres a very, VERY, low porcentage that Zerguette has the same feeling as you, knowing her’‘ the tiny protoss saids using a tablet to estimate and confirm her answer ‘‘Yes, there’s only 0.0001 probabilities that she acept you’‘.

‘‘HA! I told you, she will never acept you, clearly you know how’s she...but’‘ Tamur gets up from the ground stop talking to start thinking what he should says ‘‘But...eh...b-but’‘. ‘‘Yes, Tamur?’‘ Kalyn ask seeing his ‘‘best friend’‘ talking with stammer. ‘’I...Believe....i-in...you’‘ the nerazim replyed nervous, but at least he was trying to cheer him up a little more.

‘‘Thank you!, hopely there’s a chance that she acepts me!!’‘ Kalyn was very happy, and then he starts walking inside the palace, going to Zerguette’s room.

‘‘Teldexha, tell me the true, what was the real porcentage?’‘ Tamur sees the little protoss with a little of angery and interest. ‘‘78%, it’s surprising...’‘ Teldexha replyed very surprised. ‘‘78%, THAT’S THE REAL PORCETANGE?! WHAT THE FUCK?’‘ the nerazim start asking a lot of questiong to the little taldarim, and well, Teldexha gets angry and you know what’s next.

Kalyn reach Zerguette’s room and he enters inside seeing her lovely protoss with a very depressed eyes as she always have them, he knows how she ends like that but he can’t do anything, he just help to cheer her up, to make her laugh and to love her. ‘’Zergy, can we talk?’’ Kalyn ask with fear inside him but with a lot of hope and happiness in his face. ‘’Tell me Kalyn, what’s the big thing we have to talk to make you enter without asking permission?’’ the queen was angry but was calm at the same time. ‘’Zerguette...’’ the other protoss goes and take the hand of the other and says ‘’I love you, I love so much, I love from the first time I see you and know I ask you, if you feel the same, my queen’’.

‘‘Thanks, for loving me’‘ Zerguette quickly get out of her room lefting the other protoss alone, she runs out of the palace letting Tamur and Teldexha see her, seeing her crying. The queen was crying but never stops running until she reach the lake, she broke her promise and that was all.

‘‘Tamur, Zerguette w-was...’‘ Teldexha was scared. ‘‘Sshh...’‘ Tamur calm down Teldexha because he know what was the real meaning of the tears of Zerguette, he smiles and then run to find Zerguette ‘‘KALYN, YOU MAKE IT, YOU GODDAMN IDIOT, YOU DID IT! ahh my dear friend, you clearly are a lucky protoss’‘.

End.

This story belongs to me as the same as the characters that are here (Kalyn, Teldexha, Tamur and Zerguette) I’m sorry is my grammar is shit :’) I still don’t learn completely english but I hope you like this and if not, thank you for reading!.

#Squad moments uwu #Kalyn #Tamur #Teldexha #Zerguette #this story is shit but is the best I can do #I hate this #protoss #should I continue this? or no?#Kalyn is that boy who don't cares about if you don't like him #he will waits #and Tamur is that friend that call you dumb #yiz this shit #are you reading this serously?#thank you that make me happy #now you can left

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just-dreaming-marvel · 4 years

Text

FORTY NINE - VIENNA

LEGACY: A Tony Stark Daughter Story

MASTERLIST

< previous

Word Count: 2,050ish

Summary: Bailey explores Vienna and gets the guts to ask Tony a question.

Tony smiled as I walked out of the plane bathroom.

“You look beautiful,” he commented. “I’m going to be the one to slip up today, I can feel it.”

I laughed, “As long as I’m not the one to.” I grabbed a tablet that was sitting on a shelf.

“Ready?”

“Oh— I hadn’t even realized that we had landed.”

“I designed this plane to be as smooth as possible. Let’s go.”

I walked out a few steps behind Tony. A government agent was waiting there with a car for us. He opened a car door, took our bags, and Tony and I slid in. We sat in silence as I took in Vienna through the window. I was in awe of how beautiful everything was. I heard Tony laughing at me so I quickly looked over.

“What was that for Da—“ I paused, clearly my throat to prepare to sound more professional. “I mean, is there something that I can help you with Mr. Stark?”

He smiled, “No, just enjoying the scenery, Miss Bailey.” He reached over and squeezed my hand.

The car stopped and the government agent came around and opened the door for us. Tony and I slid out of the car as the agent grabbed our bags. We stood in front of the hotel, that was way too gorgeous to be a hotel, until the government agent was ready. The agent led us into the hotel and checked us in. I looked around, trying to take in all the sights and sounds. People were speaking several different languages and as I walked by, I could pick up pieces of what they were saying. I was grinning from ear to ear. Tears of joy started to come and a pushed them back quickly. Everything was amazing! The agent guided us to the penthouse and set down our bags.

“Let me know if you need anything, Mr. Stark,” the agent said as he left.

Tony nodded. “Thank you.”

The door closed and I squealed. “I’m actually in Vienna!” I ran over to the big windows and tried to look at everything. “It’s so beautiful!”

Tony laughed. “I love seeing you this excited. I have a few phone calls to make. Why don’t you go on a walk? Explore the city a little. I’ll catch up with you later.”

“Really?!” I ran over to him and engulfed him in a big hug. “Thank you daddy.” I kissed his cheek.

He squeezed me tight, “I love you kiddo.” He kissed my forehead and started pulling away. “Now go have fun.” I starting skipping away. “Don’t go too far!” He yelled as I grabbed my purse and shut the door.

I laughed because we both knew that it didn’t matter how far I went, he would still be able to track me. I skipped down the hall and into the elevator. The elevator couldn’t move fast enough. It felt like the longest elevator ride ever. It definitely wasn’t a Stark elevator, those things moved at incredible speeds. When the elevator finally reached the first floor, I swiftly walked out. I was so excited. I stepped out of the hotel and stood there for a minute trying to decide which way to go. I decided to go right. I had been wandering around for about 15 minutes when I felt my phone vibrate. It was Steve.

“Hey honey,” I answered.

“Hey B,” He said. I didn’t realize how much I had missed his voice until he spoke.

“How are you?”

“I-I’ve been better.”

“Yeah? How was the service?”

“It was good. Beautiful. Peggy was honored very well. Sam sat up front with me and Nat came as well. She told me that you sent her… Thank you. It wasn’t the same as having you here though.”

“I know Steve. But it was the best I could do. Is Nat on her way to Vienna?”

“She’s readying the jet right now.”

“When does she think she’ll be here?”

“She will be— wait a minute. Here? Bailey, where are you right now?”

“Vienna.”

“Why are you in Vienna?” I could hear the concern in his voice. And there might have been some anger as well, but I didn’t feel like focusing my powers to tell.

“I beat Tony in a race. He gave me a suit last night. My very own Iron Man suit.”

“Really?” The shock in his voice was evident.

“I know. I was surprised as well. We raced and I won, so now I’m in Vienna as his Intern. The city is so beautiful! Tony’s letting me explore it on my own right now… I wish you were here to see it with me.”

“What if I did come? There’s room on Nat’s jet. It could be our first proper date.”

“I wish… I don’t know if I’ll be able to get away from Tony for that long after being able to explore the city on my own.”

“I think I could get Nat to help with that. So, Miss Stark, will you go on a date with me tonight?”

I let out a giggle as I shook my head a little. “I would love to, Captain Rogers.”

“So I’ll pick you up around…”

I glanced at my watch. It was 2 pm. “7. You can pick me up at 7. I’ll text you the hotel and room number.”

“7 it is then.” I could practically hear the smile as Steve spoke.

“I’ll see you then, Captain Rogers.”

“I can’t wait, Miss Stark.”

Then I hung up as quickly as I could. Steve was taking me out on an actual date! Since we had started dating a few months ago, we hadn’t been able to go out on an actual date due to the fact that I couldn’t leave the compound very often and that few people knew about us. I was going on an actual date. It was my first real date and I would be hiding it from Tony. How was I suppose to hide it from Tony, my dad? I shook my head. I decided that I’d deal with that later. I was honestly just too happy that I was in Vienna and was going on a date with Steve Rogers. I continued my walk around the city. I went in and out of shops, cafes, bookstores, anything and everything for about 2 hours before I headed back to the hotel room. I opened the door and Tony was sitting on a chair close to the window with his feet up on a nearby table. He was on the phone. He heard me come in, glanced back at me, and smiled.

“I’ve got to go, Bailey just walked in,” Tony said talking into the phone. “Yeah.. I’ll see ya tonight..” He hung up the phone, put his feet down and turned to look at me.

“You didn’t end up meeting me..” I let out a small whine. I didn’t really care that much, he was already doing better than he was a year ago.

“I know kid,” He sighed, “This whole Accords thing is taking a lot of my time. I’m sorry.”

“Who were you on the phone with?” I set my purse on the coffee table and laid on the couch.

“Natasha, we’re meeting up for dinner tonight to go over the Accords one last time.” He looked at me and I faked a frown. “I’m sorry we won’t be able to go out to dinner.” He got up, walked to the couch, and stood there looking at my legs, silently begging me to move them.

“That’s okay,” I groaned. I squished my legs towards the rest of my body.

Tony sat down. “How about we go flying around the city after I come back tonight?”

I smiled. “Like, in the suits?”

“Yes, in the suits.”

I smiled. I hadn’t been this happy in a while. Tony settled into the couch, laid back his head, and shut his eyes. We both quickly fell asleep. I woke up and looked at the clock. It was 5:23 pm. I sat there for a little bit, thinking. I’ve been meaning to bring up college to Tony to see what would say, but things have always gotten in the way. There was probably no better time than this.

“Dad?” I whispered.

“Mmm?”

“Can I— well… um… Never mind.”

Tony opened his eyes, sat up straight. He positioned himself so that his body was facing me and put a hand on my knee. “Bailey…”

“Okay okay,” I took a deep breath in. “I— I— When we get home, can I get out of the compound more?”

Tony rolled his eyes and stuck a hand over them. “Bailey, we’ve been throu—“

I held a hand up and quickly cut him off. “Dad, just let me finish. I love being at home, I love my family. But, I need to get out and meet people my own age. I need to be able to make other friends, normal friends. Maybe at college? Or something… I haven’t really thought through all the details yet. And I know that you are always worried about me and my safety, but I have the best family in the world and I know that you always know where I am. And I could come home and visit every weekend.” Tony leaned forward and looked at the ground. I held my breath, waiting to hear what he’d say.

“Bailey—“ he started and then he quickly turned and grabbed me. He held me with one arm and put his another hand on my cheek. He took a deep breathe in before he spoke. “I want you to do be able to do anything and everything you want in life. So maybe we’ll hold off on the announcement that you’re my daughter and you can go to college.”

I hugged him back. “No, Dad,” I whispered, “I can’t go to college and with that secret. We’ll let everyone know. I want you to be able to move me in and be there when I need you, which will probably be a lot.” I felt a tear come down off his face as he held me tighter.

“That’s probably true.” He let out a content breath. “I’m so proud of the woman you’ve become.” He pulled back a bit so that we could see each other. “Would—“ He stopped himself, he was a little nervous. “Would you like to go with Nat tomorrow for the ratifying of the Accords?”

My eyes widened in shock. “W-what?”

“I know Nat would love it if you were to go and I’ve already signed them, so I don’t actually need to be there. You’d be going as a representative of Stark Industries and the Avengers Initiative.”

“Are you serious?”

“Very.” He nodded. “I think you’re ready.”

“Thank you so much!” I pulled him back into a hug. “I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too, honey.” I started to cry and Tony pulled his head back and put his hand on my cheek. “What’s wrong?” Tony wiped the tears off of my cheek.

“I’m just grateful to have you as my dad. I would literally be a HYDRA monster without you.” He leaned in so that our foreheads met. Then a knock came to the door. Tony groaned and I giggled as Nat came waltzing in.

“Tony, are you—“ She stopped when she saw us on the couch. “Oh. Did I just interrupt something?”

“You always are interrupting something, Red.” Tony said. I laughed as Tony kissed my forehead. “Are you going to be okay here alone?”

“I’ll be fine. Go, save the world. I’ll be here waiting to hear all about it.” I answered. He smirked as he stood up and grabbed his suit coat.

“Don’t worry B, I’ll take good care of him,” Nat joked. “Have a good night.” She winked at me.

I smiled as they both walked out and the door shut behind them. It was time to get ready for my date.

next >

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chickensarentcheap · 4 years

Text

Best Part of Me - Chapter 26

WARNINGS: mentions of PTSD, panic attacks, profanity

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @alievans007, @innerpaperexpertcloud

They haven’t spoken since they left the house; a rather brief and terse conversation about where Millie had left not only her shoes, but the noise cancellation headphones she likes to use on trips out of town. That was twenty minutes ago; halfway into their drive to Port Douglas and not one single word has been exchanged, nor even a sidelong glance. They’re both on edge; the aftereffects of the long and exhausting night before, Esme’s brief yet intense battle with a PTSD ‘flare up’, and now the raw and anxious nerves surrounding the visit with Tyler’s father.

The nightmare plays on a continuous loop in his mind; the old man’s booming voice and vicious words, his mother’s tearful begging and pleading that only cease when the beating begins, Austin’s appearance as a grown man and his refusal to lave Millie behind. It’s all there; every vision, every sound. Even the feel of his heart breaking deep within his chest and the scalding sting of tears as they rolled down his face. And the cravings linger, his brain and body desperate for those old vices. The only coping mechanism he’s ever known or practiced. It’s the familiarity of the old life that he misses; not the dirty work or the blood on his hands but the escape the job had provided him with. He’d constantly been on the go; jumping from place to place, relying only on his skills –and his confidence in them- to get him through each day. He hadn’t had time to think; too busy trying to keep himself and others alive. Now it seems as if he has all the time in the world to think. To dwell. And it’s slowly tearing him apart inside. He knows he should be grateful for what he’s been given; a second chance at life, a normal existence surrounded by people who love him and depend on him. And he IS. Yet at the same time, the past won't leave him alone. It had been his way of life for half of his years on earth, and both his brain and his body are struggling to let go.

Guilt. So much guilt. Over the fact he just can’t it go. That he can’t leave the past where it belongs and be content with a normal existence. He’s one of the lucky ones; he’d gotten out of the game relatively healthy and with most of his sanity still intact. He was able to find someone to have a family with; someone that not only understood the hardships and the horrors of the job, but didn’t judge him for the things he’d done or the mistakes he made or the number of broken and often dead bodies he left in his wake. Tons of mercs would give anything to be in his shoes, they’d kill –figuratively and some probably literally- to get even a taste of love and happiness and domesticity. And yet he was taking it all for granted and practically pissing it away.

He casts a glance through the rear view mirror. Millie with her earphones on, her face intense and her eyes riveted on whatever game or movie she has playing on the tablet in her lap; her baby sister fast asleep in the car seat beside her. She’d forgiven him quickly. He’d sat down next to her on the patio and had never said a word; giving her the time and the space to brood and to get over her temporary hate for him. And in a matter of minutes she’d been climbing up into his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck and he in turn had been apologizing profusely for hurting her. He’d never meant to pull her hair or yell at her afterwards; explaining that he had a lot of things on his mind and they were making him angry and anxious –and even sad- and that he never should have taken them out on her. And even though she’d held his face in her hands and kissed his cheeks and said “I still love you, daddy” in that little voice of hers, he had still felt like complete and utter shit for what he’d done.

He looks over at his wife next; sitting with her elbow resting on the window ledge, her eyes closed with her palm pressed against the side of her face and two fingertips massaging her temple. The color has returned to face; she looks healthy again, vibrant. But her shoulders remain incredibly tense and her jaw tightly clenched.

“It’s why you have a headache,” Tyler points out, and she glances at him out of the corner of her eye. “Your jaw. Clenching it like that. It’s why you feel like shit.”

He braces for it. A smart-ass comment or just a ‘fuck off, Tyler’, but neither come. Instead she gives a shaky smile and closes her eyes once more; thumb and forefinger moving up to rub at the bridge of her nose. But he notices her jaw relaxes and her shoulders drop slightly; it’s a good sign, he figures. She hasn’t told him where to go and how to get there and she’s finally starting to relax. So he takes it one step further, dropping a hand from the steering wheel and reaching across the middle console to lay it on her thigh. Feeling his own sense of relief when she doesn’t shoot him a dirty look or yank her leg away.

“You look really nice,” he says, giving her a soft smile and squeezing her knees as he admires her simple cotton sundress. A light orange that reminds him of the tail end of the sunrise, with a neckline that sits off her shoulders and a hem that just skims the bottom of her knees. It’s hard sometimes; finding just the right words, even when it comes to the simplest of comments or what should be the easiest of compliments. He knows what he wants to say but doesn’t always know how to get the thought across. Usually he’ll rely on body language and facial expressions; she’s always been on expert on reading them, right from the start. That second morning in Dhaka when she’d told him that his eyes did all the talking for him.

Her eyes open once more and this time she turns her face towards him and gives a smile of her own. Then lays her hand on top of his own and pushes her fingers through his.

“I didn’t mean it,” he says. “What happened with Millie. I didn’t mean to pull her hair. It was an accident. My mind completely wandered and...”

“You know what’s not what upset her, right?” Esme gently interjects. “It’s not that you pulled her hair. She knew you didn’t mean to do it. It’s that you yelled at her. You hurt her feelings. You scared her.”

“I didn’t mean to do THAT either.”

“What’s going on with you? First last night, now freaking out on Millie.”

“I had a nightmare. I’ve had nightmares before.”

“I’m not talking about the nightmare. I’m talking about other things. When we were...you know...” she peeks over her shoulder, making sure that Millie isn’t paying attention. She’s fallen asleep; her head resting on the side of her booster seat, hair falling over her face and those long, dark lashes brushing against the tops of her cheeks. “You were rough,” Esme continues. “And I’m not talking about your usual rough. The rough that I like. I mean like hard core rough. It wasn’t you, Tyler. It was...I don’t know...scary.”

He doesn’t know what to say. Or if she even wants him to say anything. At first, he’d thought it was all part of the game she likes to play; how she gets when she’s egging him on to be aggressive and manhandle her. It wasn’t uncommon for there to be pain involved; hair pulling, choking, bite marks and bruises left behind. It hadn’t even occurred to him that her resistance and her fighting back were genuine; not until she’d started to cry, and he realized that not only were the tears real, but so was the fear in her eyes. Suddenly it wasn’t a game anymore and he felt sick. That he could ever cause that kind of reaction in her when he’d spent years doing everything in his power to protect her.

“I know we joked about this morning,” she says. “But that? Last night? That was not you. That wasn’t even Dhaka Tyler. I don’t know who that was.”

He swallows heavily. There’s bile sitting square in his throat and he’s not sure he wants to vomit or cry. “I said I was sorry.” Tt sounds lame, even to his own ears.

“I don’t want you to say you’re sorry. I want you tell me what’s going on. And don’t say nothing. Because it’s been building and building. For days. You’re like this wire that’s being pulled too tight and you’re ready to snap. Things were fine. Things were good. So good. Is it us? Is there was the real issues? You’re not happy and you don’t want there to be an ‘us’ anymore?”

“What?” He can’t help the incredulous laugh that escapes. Of all the fucking things she’d think, that is the most ridiculous. At least in his eyes. “Baby, you know that’s not it. That it’s not us. You and I are the only thing that’s NOT going to shit right now.”

“Then what is it?” she presses. “I know you, Tyler. Better than you know yourself most of the time. I know there’s more going on than you’re telling me. What is it?”

“It’s everything,” he admits. “Every single fucking thing. It’s Ovi and it’s Nik and it’s Millie’s birthday and it’s my father and it’s...everything.”

“Then tell Nik you’re not doing it. Call her and tell her you changed your mind. That she needs to find someone to train him. Because if it’s going to tear you apart like this...”

“I can’t. I can’t back out now. I bailed on her once. I can’t do it again.”

“Fuck Nik. You did what you had to do to keep your sanity and come home to your family. You CAN back out. And you need to know if you feel you can’t do it or if it’s only going to make things worse for you. Stop being so fucking stubborn and like yourself for once. Jesus Christ. Why do you do this? Why do you not care about what you’re going through?”

“I have to do it,” Tyler insists. “It’s Ovi, I can’t let him down. No matter how pissed off I am. No matter how much I want to fucking strangle him. If I don’t help and something happens to him, I’ll never forgive myself. And that’ll be a hundred times worse than what I’m going through right now.”

“I don’t want you doing this if it’s going to break you, if it’s only going to tear you apart from the inside out. I don’t want that happening to you. Because there’s six people that you need you, Tyler. Whether you think we do or not. I do not want this destroying you.”

“I just need to get through it,” he reasons. “I just need to bust his ass and hope it either breaks him and he gives up, or that I did a good enough job to keep him alive.”

“And if you have to go in and get what? What then?”

“Then I pray I don’t fuck up and I make it home.”

“Well that’s reassuring,” she mutters, then inhales deeply and exhales slowly, grip on his hand tightening. And minutes pass before she speaks again. “Do you miss it?” she asks, her eyes focused on the road ahead. “The job. Do you miss it? I want you to be honest with me. I want you tell me the truth even if it’s going to hurt. Even if you know I’m going to hate what I hear.”

“Esme...”

“Tyler,” her tone is firm. No nonsense. “Tell me the truth. Because lying about it will only make it worse. For both of us. Do you miss it?”

“Sometimes,” he admits.

“How often is sometimes?”

Sighing, he releases the hold on her hand and scratches at the back of his head. A nervous habit. “Lately? Every day.”

“Wow...” her eyes widen, and she nods slowly. “...I was not expecting THAT.”

He’s immediately on the defensive. “You wanted me to tell you. You told me to tell you the truth. So I am. You...”

“Every day, though? Every day for how long?”

“A couple weeks. Maybe more. A month at the most.”

She blinks in disbelief. “A month? A fucking month? Addie isn’t even a month old You’re telling me that I was still pregnant with her...trying to keep her inside of me so she’d stand a chance if she was born too early...and that entire time you were missing the job? While I’m trying to keep your daughter safe and alive, you were thinking about THAT? Are you fucking kidding me right now?!”

“I don’t want to fight,” he keeps his voice and calm and even, despite the fact he feels every remaining of control being chipped away. “You told me to tell you the truth and that’s what I’m doing.”

“I mean I expected you to miss it and a hard time giving it up. But a month? You’ve been away from it for half a goddamn year. So five months you were fine and now all of a sudden...”

“It’s just because of Ovi. If he’d never come to me with that shit....”

“That was a week ago. Not a month ago. What explains the three weeks before he said anything? Are you serious right now, Tyler? What the fuck?!”

“I don’t know what more you want me to say. Do you want me to say I’m sorry? That it makes me sick that I miss it? That I fucking hate myself for even thinking about it? Is that what you want to hear? That I feel like a shit human being because of it?”

“I want you to hear you say that you don’t want to go back to it!”

“I didn’t say that’s what I wanted. I said I missed it sometimes.”

“What is there to miss? Getting stabbed? Getting shot? Getting fucked over by guys like Mahajan? Killing people?”

“No,” he scowls. “I don’t miss that. What the fuck? Is that what you think of me? That that’s who I am? That I enjoy that shit?”

“Then what the hell is it? Because it didn’t end well, Tyler. It didn’t end well in New Zealand and it sure as hell didn’t end well in Dhaka. What is there to miss?”

He struggles to keep his composure. “Esme, I don’t want to fight. Can we do this later? Can we not wait until we get home to talk about this? Can we just get this visit out of the goddamn way before talking about anything else? I just want to get to my dad’s, stay for a bit, and then leave. Then we can talk about whatever you want.”

“A month? A fucking month?”

“Esme...stop...please...I don’t want to fight.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this before? Why didn’t...”

“I said I don’t want to fucking fight!” He roars, and his foot slams down on the brake. Bringing the truck to an abrupt and violent halt in the middle of the backwoods country road; tires crunching on stones and gravel, sending plumes of dust and dirty swirling and dancing around them. His chest feels impossibly tight; his heart races and his lungs with every breathe he tries to draw in. He’s dizzy, nauseous; sweat gathers across his forehead and at his temples and back of his neck. And he’s suddenly aware of how hard he’s gripping the steering wheel; knuckles turning white and cracking, wounds reopening.

*****

“Tyler...”

He’s vaguely aware of the hand on his bicep and the sound of her voice; urgent and concerned. It seems as if she’s far away; distorted and muffled, as if he’s underwater and can’t quite make out what she’s saying to him. And as the pressure in his chest builds, it becomes fight of flight. He chooses the latter; throwing the truck into park and reaching for his seat belt, fingers numb and hands trembling as he struggles with the release. Frustration sets in; profanities slipping from parched lips, hot, bitter tears streaming down his cheeks.

He feels as if he’s on auto-pilot, no longer in control of his actions. And the gravel cracks and pops under his feet as he finally escapes, fresh air feeling as if it’s scalding his already aching as he draws it in large, choking gulps. Wobbling slightly with each step he takes, hands on his hips as he repeatedly paces the length of the truck. The simple counting begins to settle him; one foot in front of the other, reciting the number of steps in his head. The same way he had almost seven years ago on the Sultana Kamal Bridge. When he’d first stepped onto its war zone and began that long and tedious journey to freedom. He’d been in agonizing pain; quickly losing blood, growing weaker with each inch, yet continuing to advance. Spurred on by what he had waiting for him once he finally made it.

And then Saju’s dead body and the sniper and his useless right leg forcing him to drag himself to safety. A tearful Ovi at his side, begging him to get up.

Dhaka. Fuck. Fucking Dhaka. It makes the panic build again. Makes it all so seem real; like he’s right there again. Tasting his blood in his mouth and feeling that absence of strength and hope. But he hadn’t been ready to give up just yet. Because he had something...someone...to lose and was going to fight for them. And there’d been that glimmer of hope; when he’d gunned down those last two assailants and limped his way towards the finish line. But that little bastard Farhad had shot him from behind and...

Fuck Farhad. Fuck Dhaka. Fuck Amir and Gaspar.

He forces all thought and memory of it out of his mind; closing his eyes as he leans back against the grill of the truck. Concentrating on better things...happier things. Getting married, experiencing the birth of his ‘rainbow baby’ and all the others that came after her. Reminding himself that he has people who love him. Unconditionally. That rely on him and depend on him and make him want to be a better man. He would have given up a long ago; had he NOT had them. If Esme hadn’t have been there when he woke up in the hospital nearly seven years ago.

His breathing has returned to normal and the dizziness and nausea nonexistent when he hears one of the doors open behind him. The sudden press of her shoulder against his is comforting; it grounds him. Brings him back to the here and now. She’s done this before; talked him down from many a ledge. And he has no idea why she sticks around and keeps giving him chance after chance, but he’s thankful she does.

“Hold your daughter, Tyler,” she says, as Addie lays along her arm. “Hold her and feel how real she is. Feel that she’s here. That YOU’RE here. Not wherever your brain is telling you you are.”

“I can’t. Not like this. What if I hurt her? What if I...”

“Take her,” Esme insists, and he relents, bringing that baby...HIS baby...up to his chest; one hand on the back of her head, a forearm under the bum. She’s so tiny...so light...so fragile. So perfect and pure. And he places his nose against the side of her head; feeling her hair against his skin, taking in the soft scent that clings to her clothing and hair, feeling her warm and the beat of her heart against him.

“That’s your reason,” Esme tells him. “Your purpose. Why you have to keep fighting and not let this destroy you.”

The tears come again, a mixture of shame and guilt. That he can have so much but not even realize it or appreciate it. That he was even given these things in the first place. All the bed decisions, all the blood on his hands...

“I’m sorry.” he manages. “I am so fucking sorry.”

“For what?” Her hand is on his back, resting between his shoulders. He can’t bring himself to look at her; afraid of what he’ll see her eyes. Disgust. Disappointment. Regret. “What are you sorry for?” she asks.

“Everything. Everything fucking things. All the shit I’ve put you through. That I STILL keep putting you through. I fucking hate myself for it.”

“I know you do. And I don’t' want you to. You have no reason to hate yourself.”

“Dhaka.” He says simply.

“Dhaka has nothing to do with this. I’ve told you a million times that I don’t blame you for how things went. You did everything you could that day. For Ovi. For me. It was out of your control. There was nothing more you could have done. You don’t think I realize that?”

“On the bridge. You shouldn't have had to do what you did.”

“That’s not your fault either. I don’t blame you for what I had to do or what I saw. I don’t you responsible for that. And I sure as hell don’t hate you. What will it take to make you realize that? To stop all that guilt and all that blame and all that hate for yourself. What more do you need me to say? Because I’ll say it. Whatever you need to hear, I will tell you.”

“I don’t know,” Tyler admits. “I just don’t fucking know.”

“This has to stop. The way you shouldn’t try to deal with every goddamn thing on your own. Stop keeping shit inside and letting it eat you alive.”

“Why do even stay with me?” he asks. “When I’m such a fucking mess?”

“Because I love you. Because you’re my husband and my lover and my confidant and my best friend. Because you have a huge heart and you’re a good man that was forced to do terrible things.”

“But my brain...”

“Is troubled and beautiful and it’s going to be okay. You’re not only in this Tyler. Stop acting like you are. Let me help you. Let me love you. Please.”

Esme curls her arm around his waist and rests her head against his arm, and for several minutes never of them speak. And eventually the tears subside, and he takes a long, shaky breath and places his lips against the side of Addie’s head.

“Are you okay?” she asks, and presses a series of light, feathery kisses to his shoulder.

“Yeah...I’m okay.”

“We should just go home. You can call your dad’s and tell them that something came up and reschedule. I don’t think...”

“I’m fine. I told Millie I’d do this for her.”

“You know,” Esme muses. “You’re going to have to eventually say no to her. She's going need to learn about disappointment at some point in time.”

“Not today though. Let’s just do this. For her. Okay?”

“Okay. Do you want me to drive or...”

“You are NOT driving my truck,”

She smirks. “I think you love your truck more than me some days.”

“There’s nothing I love more than you.”

She smiles at that, and he kisses her softly. “I’ve driven your truck before,” she reminds him.

“And I’ve had it every time. You know how long it takes me to reset everything? Mirrors? Seat? I get in and my knees are up by my ears.”

“I have little legs! I can’t help it. Just because you’re absurdly tall...”

“Have you ever considered I’m normal height and you’re absurdly short?”

“You’re not normal height,” she laughs. “Not even close to it. You’re all legs and torso. And so are you kids. Well, except for this little nugget,” she smiles down at Addie. “This one is all me.”

“Poor kid.”

“Hey!” she objects and pinches his side. “That’s not nice!”

Tyler grins. “Can we still be friends?”

“Maybe. Depends how you make it up to me.”

“I’ll buy you tacos for lunch.”

“That’ll do,” she says, and stands on her tip toes to kiss him. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

He nods.

“I just want you to be healthy, Tyler. That’s all I want. Because I love you and I worry about you and I don’t anything happening to you. You need to stop torturing yourself so much about Dhaka. I’ve never blamed you. Or hated you. What happened is not your fault. I need you to realize that.”

“I’ll try,” he promises. “I’ll try remembering that.”

“You saved my life. Not just there. In general. In every way a person CAN be saved. Don’t ever forget that.”

“I love you,” he says, and kisses her once more. “So much.”

“I love you too. Which is why I stay. Don’t ever ask me that again.”

“I won’t.”

She presses a kiss to his shoulder and rubs the middle of this back. “When you’re ready,” she says, and gives him a small smile before returning to the truck.

He wonders if he ever will be. Ready. If he’ll be able to truly let the past go.

#tyler rake #tyler rake fan fic #tyler rake fan fiction #extraction #best part of me #chris hemsworth character

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