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devildom-moss · 6 months

Note

This is sort of a joke so only do this if you want to but: brothers with an mc who eats moss like kris from deltarune. It's..... weirdly attractive? There's a sheep joke to be made here

Sometimes we need a silly little joke, and that's okay. I hope you like it anon. Is the moss thing related to this blog name or is it just random? Also, I don't know who that is - and I had to look up what deltarune is. Maybe it's an age thing or maybe it's just one of those topics I know nothing about. Either way~

Also, I'll be honest, I set up an excel sheet with all of my requests organized by post type before I did this request. Now I feel more organized. Yay.

The demon brothers react to MC eating moss

(SFW) (silliness)

Word Count: +1,600

Lucifer

No. No. No. No. “Spit that out right now, MC.”

They’re going to give this poor single parent of 6 an aneurysm. Moss could be dangerous for MC. Where did they even get that? Did they at least wash it before shoveling it into their mouth?

What is he going to tell Diavolo if moss gets them sick? “Yeah, sorry about needing you to call a human doctor for MC. I looked away from them for one minute, and they started eating moss.” He has a responsibility to keep MC safe.

Lucifer is the type to order MC to get a psych eval when he sees them eating moss. He knows it’s weird and potentially dangerous. This kind of unusual behavior should be closely monitored by a professional.

He’ll nearly lose his mind believing that MC had definitely lost theirs.

“What in the Devildom has gotten into you? Have you utterly lost it? MC, I can’t handle these kids on my own anymore. I need you to be sane and relatively normal, please.��

Please don’t do this to him. Lucifer needs stability in his life, and eating moss is not the picture of stability.

He will make MC’s potential problem about him for a bit in true bad single parent fashion.

Mammon

“The hell ya doin’?!”

Mammon will not hesitate to point out how weird he thinks they are. He doesn’t want to hurt MC’s feelings, but he can’t stop himself from giving them a look of confusion and light disgust.

“That can’t possibly taste good, can it? Ya can’t just go ‘round eatin’ any plant ya see.”

Once the initial surprise works through him, he’s just worried about MC eating something weird. What would he do if they got sick? What would he tell Lucifer? He’s their guardian, and he takes that role more seriously than he likes to let on.

Mammon’s the most likely to try to physically remove the moss from MC’s mouth (but Lucifer is a close second). It could be dangerous. He’ll confiscate MC’s moss if they have any left and keep a close eye on them.

His search history from that day will be telling. “is moss dangerous for humans” “is moss dangerous for humans to eat” “types of moss that are safe for humans to eat” “how to tell if my human is sick” “human ate something bad what happens” “why did my human eat moss” “is my human mentally ill” “Devildom human doctors near me” “human-friendly moss” “good dates for humans” “how to charm weird humans” “how to romance weird humans no magic” (He got distracted.)

Leviathan

Levi finds it funny (and he probably actually knows which character you’re referencing, anon). It’s weird, sure, but he figures whatever MC is doing, it’s pretty harmless.

He wonders if that applies to algae. It might make cleaning out his fish tanks a bit easier if MC can and wants to eat it. The thought pops into his head, but Levi decides against it.

It’s strangely comforting that MC has something weird and arguably off-putting about them. Usually, he’s the weird, gross one. (This is where creepy Levi kicks in and he wants to know more about MC’s weird habits. Maybe if it turns out that they’re super weird, he can keep them all to himself. However, Levi lets his creepy thoughts go as quickly as they came.) Levi unlocked new information. Friend points +50. MC’s charm points +30.

“If I kiss you right now, that’s close enough to touching grass, right?” That’s a thing he’s supposed to do, isn’t he? Shit. He didn’t mean to say that out loud, but it’s too late.

Levi’s one of the brothers who will just let MC be and do their thing. He might double check and make sure MC isn’t going to get sick, but after that, he’ll leave them be. It’s not really his business. If it makes MC happy, he won’t judge.

Satan

Oddly supportive boyfriend.

The man’s a little feral and weird. I think he would find it kind of precious and adorable; it’s kind of like how cats like to eat grass.

He’d spend a while figuring out which mosses are safe to consume, asking MC if they have any preferences for which moss types they enjoy. Do they prefer certain textures and mouth feels? Are certain colors preferable? Which moss tastes the best?

Then, he would set up a moss terrarium for MC filled with their favorite mosses. Satan may ask them to help him build it as a cute little craft date. This way, MC will have a way to safely snack on moss whenever they wish. A terrarium has the added benefit of MC being able to control where the moss comes from so that they can avoid any harmful bacteria, viruses, pesticides, etc.

Of course, Satan understands that eating moss is unusual, and he may question what it is that compels MC to eat moss, but he doesn’t see the need to stop it.

He may taste the moss himself (in the same way that someone with a pet may be tempted to try pet food). It would, in all likelihood, disappoint him, but MC’s enjoyment is all that matters.

Satan has a real “MC can have a bit of moss – as a treat” kind of mindset. He’ll probably try to see if he can hand-feed MC like they’re a stray cat. He’s weird, too, but we love him.

Asmodeus

“Honey, no. This isn’t how we transition into our feral era.”

Asmo thinks it’s kind of gross, but he asks if maybe eating moss is good for the skin or something (because he can’t think of any other reason MC would even consider eating moss).

When they tell him that’s not why, he gives them a troubled stare with his arms crossed over his stomach. “Uhm, hun. Why are you eating it then?”

Even if MC tells him that it tastes good, there’s no way he’s trying it unless it has incredible health and beauty effects. He can’t stomach the thought of it.

After the disgust washes over him, the concern floods his system instead. He asks if MC is sure that they can and should be eating moss. Regardless of what MC tells him, Asmo will go to Satan or Lucifer (probably both) to make sure that MC isn’t putting themselves in any danger. He couldn’t handle it if MC got sick. All that stress would destroy his skin (and break his heart beyond repair).

Once he ensures MC’s health, he tries to just let MC do their thing. “Just please don’t eat that stuff around me, ‘kay? And if you eat it, please brush your teeth before you kiss me.”

Beelzebub

“Aw, MC, are you hungry? I’m sure we have something more delicious than moss in the fridge. I was just on my way to get a snack. I’ll pick one up for you too, okay?”

He’s probably eaten some moss in his time. He’s no stranger to eating weird things, so his reaction is the least judgmental.

Sometimes moss looks delicious, right? It just makes sense to him that they would want to try eating it.

Beel will definitely ask them to spare some of their moss so he can try it, too. If the moss tastes relatively bad, he might be weary of their tastes in the future, but as long as eating it won’t hurt them, Beel doesn’t care.

Beel is probably the only one who would try to suggest tastier methods of eating the moss. “What about putting it on top of ice cream? Or maybe in a cheeseburger. Mmm. . . cheeseburger. A moss salad might be more appetizing, too. I could blend it into a smoothie or some soup for you. How does that sound?”

It makes him feel a bit comforted that they both have eating habits that others think are weird – like it brings them closer and is a special connection only they can share.

Belphegor

He’s seen Beel bite into a pillar at the castle when he’s hungry. He’s not too troubled by a bit of moss-eating.

Belphie trusts MC not to be stupid enough to ingest moss that would be toxic to them, and not worrying saves him a bit of energy and time. Additionally, I think Belphie would be relatively knowledgeable about plants, so he would probably be able to tell if what MC is eating is likely to kill them.

For the most part, he just doesn’t care. MC could even kiss him with fresh moss breath, and he won’t give a shit. It’s probably better than morning or fish breath, and he’s still getting a kiss, so he doesn’t see a reason to complain.

He won’t be ultra supportive like Satan, but he will be a bit more enthusiastic about it than others – mostly because it gives him an idea for a prank. He could make soup with moss in it, have MC bring a bowl to Lucifer, and eat one themselves so he isn’t suspicious. Then Lucifer would end up eating moss soup. He could probably do that with multiple types of food, too.

One (stupid) point of contention will be that Belphie thinks moss is better as a pillow than as a snack, but he acknowledges that’s a ridiculous difference of opinion. However, that could be a nice date idea: find a mossy forest where he can take a nap while MC gets to snack on moss.

He will probably get scolded by Lucifer and Mammon for enabling MC’s behavior (and not at all because he goes on weird moss dates with MC).

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spitdrunken · 1 year

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Rollo corruption kink???🤨🤨🤨

I wanna ruin him so bad but bros probably worse than me PFFFT

notes: corruption

PLEASE. MAYBE HE WOULD BE?? i'm still trying to figure out what type of horny he is... i just can't see him as the type of 'desperately repressed' guy, personally. to me he just kind of feels like hm,,, sex or masturbation has just never particularly interested him, and he would probably not know much more about it than what's told in mandatory school lessons. (not to mention, if it really is as pleasurable as he’s led to believe... someone such as him would not deserve it.) PLUS he spends most of his time around magic students nowadays and maybe he just wouldn’t wanna fuck them lmao. ANYWAY, ENJOY.

Rollo is a horrible kisser. Mere pecks on the lips already have him freezing up and leave him unsure of how to handle himself, much less anything more. He wouldn’t want you to stop, not even close, but he’d never be able to ask you to continue either. His own inexperience hadn’t crossed his mind much before dating you, but now he’s growing more self-conscious with every touch you bestow upon him. As diligent as he is, he would use the same strategies here as when he’s struggling with anything else: copious amounts of research.

It starts with him searching kissing tips online, trying to memorize the things one is ‘supposed’ to say or do in these scenarios. He watches kiss scenes in movies, reads how they’re described in novels, and tries to find variables that determine a good kiss. In reality, he’s not getting much better. He knows that if he were to try and copy scenes he’s seen, it would feel so unlike him that you’d likely start laughing. Perhaps he should just ask you to help him practice, and yet... His online searches eventually lead him to filthier content he’s never had much interest in viewing prior.

Watching two people making out is enough to get him slightly flustered, but only because he imagines doing such things with you. The two strangers on the screen touching each other, seeing their tongues and their spit... Makes him feel vaguely ill. It’s filthy. But your tongue caressing his own, the tip of your tongue rubbing against the top of his mouth- It makes him squirm. Rollo is no stranger to getting random erections, every guy his age gets them occasionally, but he’s certain this one is not merely random. Never before has the urge to touch himself been as strong as now. The scene on his phone screen has long since been abandoned, and all he can think about is you. He tries to pace around and wait until it goes away.

His building thoughts culminate into a single moment, where he finally makes a move while you lean in to kiss him. Rollo, despite all his research, has no idea what he’s doing, and simply pushes his tongue against your closed lips. Immediately, he pulls away.

“Ah... I, I- My apologies.” Rollo fumbles to pull his handkerchief out of his pocket, and nearly drops it to the ground in doing so. His face is burning up like never before. He feels a little better after taking a deep breath or two. “I shouldn’t have done that without asking. Was it- Are you alright?”

You smile at him, and it has his heart fluttering. “I’m fine, really! I barely felt it.” You laugh a little, but he doesn’t feel like he’s being made fun off. “But, please be honest- I know kissing isn’t like your favourite thing in the world, so you aren’t just doing this to make me happy, are you...? You don’t have to force yourself for me. In fact, please don’t.”

“I can promise you that’s not the case,” Rollo says. “This was something... Of a personal desire of mine, yes. I’ve never minded your kisses in the past either.” He crosses his arms and presses them close to his chest. “I will admit that I simply didn’t know how to respond yet. I’ve tried to educate myself further on the subject, but, ah... I’m not certain I’ve made much progress yet.”

Something in your expression, your smile, shifts a little. “The only way to get better at kissing, is through practice. Nothing else. Should we try?” Rollo’s throat suddenly feels a bit dry, but he finds himself nodding nonetheless.

When you press your lips to his, and your warm cheek presses against his cold skin, he’s already content. You mirror his previous action, the tip of your tongue brushing against his mouth. He parts his lips without hesitation. Your mouth makes a little noise as you readjust your head, tilting it a bit further to the side as you slide your tongue in. For a moment, Rollo’s surprised at how well he’s still breathing, until it feels awfully obvious.

Your tongue inside him feels both bigger and smaller than he expected. He tries to reciprocate, and though he’s sure the way he’s swirling his tongue around yours is clumsy, he hasn’t felt this good in ages. When you slide over the top of his mouth, a noise he’s never made before gets pulled from his throat. It’s a much more sensitive spot than he could have imagined.

Your kiss swept most of coherent thoughts from his mind. Once it’s over, Rollo is a little dazed and breathless. He leans forward to try and chase your touch when you pull away, without even realizing it. He doesn’t even try to hide his face. Nor does he clean it, despite a dribble of spit sliding down his skin. (It’s not filthy, as long as it comes from you.) All at once, he becomes conscious of just how warm he feels within, and folds his hands over his lap in a flurry of motion.

It’s such a sudden and suspicious movement, that you know instantly what’s happening to him, and it’s all just a little too much. He gets up in one jerky movement, pulling away from you and staring straight past you before excusing himself. The exact words he uses are immediately forgotten as soon as he says them. You don’t have a chance to protest before he’s gone and, the moment the door closes, he regrets it. Ah, he’s really hopeless, isn’t he...?

#cha.rollo #rollo flamme x reader #rollo flamm x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #cw.corruption

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otdiaftg · 23 days

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The King's Men - Chapter Sixteen (18)

Day: Friday, April 12th / 13th* Time: 11:45 PM EST

The club is too loud for Neil to hear Andrew's approach, but suddenly Andrew is pressed into his side by the crowd. Roland looks from Andrew to Neil and back again, brow furrowed a bit in badly-concealed concern. Neil realizes then he is looking for a sign they are all right after what he'd let slip back in January. Nicky knows when he is being ignored, and he has no problem interpreting Roland's searching stare. He interrupts his own story to demand, "Don't you dare tell me you knew about them before I did! Oh my god," he says at Roland's startled, guilty look. "Oh my god, you did. How the hell? We just figured it out a couple weeks ago. How long have you known Andrew was gay?" "Are they a 'them' now?" Roland asks instead of answering. His smile is back, wide and pleased, and he stops filling their tray to pour them shots. Ever the optimist, he sets one out for Neil, too. Nicky passes the glasses out and Neil accepts his after a slight hesitation. Roland plucks his own shot up and tips it in a toast. "I'll drink to that. It's about damned time." "It's not something to be proud of," Aaron says. "Hater," Nicky says, and half-turns to make sure Neil isn't pawning his drink off on Andrew. They knock their drinks back as one and Roland collects empty glasses. Nicky points at Roland as he goes back to mixing drinks. "I noticed you avoided my questions, by the way. You're not sneaky. And what do you mean 'about damned time'?" "You can pry that story out of Andrew," Roland says. "Getting answers out of these two is like trying to get a stone to bleed," Nicky says. "It's impossible and I'm about to get my fingers broken for trying. How'd you know? Is your gaydar more advanced than mine is or—" Nicky's jaw drops as he clues in. "Wait. No way. No way! Did you two —?" "Don't," Aaron cuts in. "Just don't. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to think about it. I want to drink and pretend I don't know any of you." "I thought we were friends," Nicky says to Roland. "How could you keep this from me?" "I'm a bartender," Roland says. "I don't spill drinks or other people's secrets. With that one ill-timed exception," he corrects himself with a small grimace at an impassive Andrew. "Sorry about that, by the way. Didn't mean to jump the gun." "Roland, we are fighting effective immediately," Nicky says with a huff. "Maybe you can win my friendship back with enough drinks tonight. Come on, Aaron, let's see if a table opened up."

Art used with permission by Aymmidumps. Thank you @aymmidumps!

*Due to the Leap Year, I have opted to highlight the day rather than the date to keep the events in occurrence to the 2007 year. I will continue to mark both days accordingly.

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spikedhe4rt · 10 months

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Word Count: 1411

Request by: @whoreforbrownies

✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

I finished putting on my final stroke of blush before packing up my makeup container. I had a date with Soda tonight. I walked over to my closet, searching for something nice but classy to wear. I pushed all the other hangers to the side as I settled on a little black dress that i hadn't worn in a while.

I pulled out of my pajamas leaving me in just my underwear and bra. After that, I realized that the dress was tight enough to show my pantyline. I decided to just not wear any, its not like anyone could notice. Once I was dressed, I took my hair down from its ponytail, finishing my look.

I walked downstairs to grab my black flats and made sure to unlock my door for Soda. I make sure to unlock it for him all the time so he can just walk in. He was taking me to a restaurant that we've never been too. He wanted to try something new.

I was putting on my second flat when I heard my door shut and close. "Babe!" he yelled out for me. "Im in here" I replied. I heard running then felt hands around my waist. "You look so good." Soda whispered into my ear. It sent tingles down my spine.

He took me to his car aka Darry's truck that he borrowed. Soda kept his hand on my plump thigh as he drove. I just stared at him, watching him focus on the road and looking at his amazing features. "Anyone ever tell you you're a fine man, Sodapop Curtis." I giggled at my own joke. He smiled and shook his head slightly "Ive heard it couple times I think."

We arrived at the restaurant after 5 minutes of driving. Soda walked up and told them we were ready for our reservation. Fancy. He walked back over to me, grabbing my hand, walking us over to our table. A waiter came to take our drink orders, he was eyeing my figure but I chose to ignore it.

Im guessing Soda noticed because his grip on the table tightened.

I gulped because I knew he was jealous. Soda scooted his chair closer to me and leaned into my ear, "Im gonna rip that pretty dress off you later." he said as he squeezed the fat of my hip. I whimpered quietly, clearly getting worked up from just that. He scooted his chair back to his original spot, continuing on like nothing.

The waiter came back with our drinks, setting them down lightly and walking away. I sipped my lemonade as I tried to get my mind off of Sodas words. My thighs clenched in anticipation for what happening later. "What would you like, ma'am?" the waiter said to me, snapping me out of my trance. "Ill take the fettuccine pasta. T-thank you." I rush out quickly.

Soda told the waiter what he wanted, not even looking at the menu. Once the waiter left, Soda scooted his seat back over to me. "I got you all worked up, didn't I?" he said. "Soda, I want you" I whispered back to him.

He smirked, "And you can have me...after dinner." He knew what he was doing and he knew how i would react. Asshole. "Please, Soda!" I begged again. He pinched my thigh lightly right where the hem of the tight dress started. "After dinner, ok?" he said to me. I whimpered quietly once again before giving a shy nod.

By the time dinner was over, I was desperate and soaked. As we walked into my door, my back was already being pushed against a wall. Soda hot tongue ran against the soft skin of my neck as I moaned out. "Ive been waiting to do this all night, pretty girl" he mumbled between kissing my neck.

I felt his hand trail down to bottom of my dress.

The cold air hit my bare bottom half as he yanked my dress up. Soda brought his hand to my pussy, his fingers pushing through my arousal. "Fuck! Soda, please." His lips found there way to mine in a rush after that. I felt a finger push into me as we continued to makeout. The stimulation made me moan into his mouth, fueling him on even more.

I pulled away from his lips to beg for more, wanting to feel more satisfaction. "More, Soda more!" He smirked at my begging. "You're such a slut for me." I whimpered at his degrading words. Another digit found its way inside me, making me mewl from the feeling. "Shit, Soda keep fucking going!" He curled his two fingers inside, massaging my g-spot. My moans poured out, echoing in the room.

I draped my arms over Sodas shoulders, trying to maintain balance. A thumb found its way to my clit, the light circles on it making me silently scream. "You like that don't you, baby?" I nodded rapidly, "Yes, I love it! Fuck!" My pleas of "Faster" and "Just like that!" were loud. I felt my peak getting closer and closer as Soda rammed his fingers into me. I leaned forward until my head was in the crook of his neck, suddenly feeling shy.

Sodas free hand came to my chin, lifting my head up to look into his blue eyes. "Come on, don't get shy on me now. Come for me!" I cried out at his words, about to topple over the edge. "Fuck, Soda. I'm cumming!" My release gushed over finger, coating them slightly.

Soda brought his arousal coated hand up to my mouth, offering me a taste of myself. I immediately took his offer, running my tongue over the two digits. I began to pull off my dress before being stop. "You look so pretty, keep it on for me and turn around." I followed his directions with a smile.

My hands touched were braced on the cold wall, waiting in anticipation. "I cant believe you had no panties on in that nice place like a slut, sweetheart." his tone was sultry as he spoke. "Please, Soda! Fuck me." I heard a fly zip down and the buckle of his brown leather belt hit the floor.

Next thing I know, I felt the tip of Soda hard cock against my puffy cunt. I recoiled slightly at the sensation before whimpering from sensitivity. Sodas hands came to my hips, gripping them harshly as he pushed into me. We both moaned at the feeling. His thrust started at a unruly pace, making me silently scream once again. "Soda! I love you so much. Oh!" I moaned out, already feeling breathless.

One of his hands came up to grab my breast from the back, slightly tweaking my nipple. "I love you too, pretty girl. You're so good for me!" Fuck. His other hand came up to my hair, pulling slightly. "Soda please pull harder." He let out a nod before pulling me back by my hair, my back again his bare chest. "Fuck!" he groaned out as I clenched around his cock.

He continued to thrust into me as I mewled and moaned. "F-feels so good" I whimpered out. "Yea? You like that" he responded. Soda hand cracked down on my ass, the sting only adding to the pleasure. "Yesss! I love it, Soda."

His thrusts remained steady as our bodies collided. I brought my hand down to my needy clit, making sure to get steady first. I rubbed tight and soft circles on my clit, making myself shudder at the pleasure. "Mmmm" I moaned. My orgasm only got closer as we continued.

"Soda! M'gonna cum. I wanna cum. Please!" I felt like I was in heaven with the pleasure he was giving me. His thrusts started to become sloppier, signaling he was close. "Im right there with you sweetheart. Cum all over my cock!" Soda pushed into me a couple times before I finally came. "Oh shit! Cum inside me please. I begged.

He moaned as he released his warm cum into me, making me moan once again. He pulled out of me and turned me around. My back was once again against the wall as Soda pushed his lips onto mine. His cum was leaking down my thighs as we made out. "You're definitely wearing this dress around me 24/7" I smiled at him before giving a final kiss.

✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this! This was a request from my tumblr. Thank you guys for all the support. Its means everything to me and my request box is always open <3

#the outsiders #sodapop curtis #sodapop x reader imagine #sodapop x reader smut #sodapop x reader #sodapop #sodapop imagine #sodapop patrick curtis #sodapop smut #darry curtis #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #steve randle #two bit mathews #dallas winston #the outsiders smut #the outsiders 1983 #the outsiders angst #the outsiders x reader

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marvelmusing · 1 year

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A Little Dream of You

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x Reader

Summary: An Inception inspired AU. The King of Ravka hires you to infiltrate the dreams of the Second Army’s General, and find out all you can about him. But what happens when you slowly begin to fall for your target?

A/N: this started as a series of bullet points but then it ran away from me so I turned it into a oneshot, sorry if the pacing is a little weird because of that

Warnings: mild threat and violence

My Masterlist

When the King personally invites you to return to Ravka from your exile, you’re certain he wants something in return. Nevertheless, you pack your bags and catch the next flight to Ravka.

The allusive General of the Second Army, known only by his code name of Kirigan, is your target and the King wants any information you can give him. You specialise in dream manipulation, going into people’s dreams and altering them to reveal things to you. You’re good - one of the best in your field.

The General travels extensively for meetings and security talks with Ravka’s neighbouring countries, providing you with the perfect opportunity.

The private airline is more than accommodating to your requirements, ensuring that the General is put under, without his knowledge, as soon as possible once the plane has taken flight. They store all the equipment you need, and either provide you with a passenger seat or allow you to sit with the staff.

He never seems surprised with how quickly he falls asleep; the poor man never seems to get enough rest. Quite often you find yourself looking at his peaceful expression and the darkened circles under his eyes as he sleeps. Then you go to work.

Aleksander’s memories are scattered, as if he barely wants to think of his life outside of work. The majority of his thoughts are occupied with trying to improve the lives of everyday Ravkans.

You have to start from the beginning. Observing from a distance as a background figure, to find out what will pique his interest or provoke a reaction.

You watch little Aleksander playing alone with a tattered teddy bear, while his father grows distant and then completely disappears. You see his mother telling him he will never amount to anything. You see his only friend abandon him in favour of the high school social hierarchy. He loses his first love to illness. His second to another man. All through his life, loneliness follows him like a spectre.

Despite this, he never fails to prioritise the people still in his life. You see him help Genya to personally organise the flower arrangements for Ivan and Fedoyr’s wedding. You see him donate enough money to the University of Ravka for them to fund David’s projects. You see all the acts of kindness he hides from his friends and the rest of the world.

The fact that he’s a good man makes your job all the more difficult.

You begin to appear in his dreams as yourself. Just walking by him in the street at first, a casual glance between you both, his dark eyes locking onto yours. Slowly, so that he becomes accustomed with your presence, you begin to increase your interactions. With every dream, every new scenario, you grow closer.

In a bookshop, your hands meet while reaching for the same book. The entrance to a coffee shop is where you stumble into him, spilling his coffee down his white shirt. As he becomes more accustomed to your presence, you become a more prominent feature of his dreams. Restaurant dates, a first kiss in the rain, cuddles and ice cream when he’s had a long day.

It makes your heart ache for something you’ve never had. Not only are you giving Aleksander exactly what he wants, you’re inadvertently filling a hole in your own heart.

Somehow, even when you’re not working, when you’re in your own bed at home, you find him in your dreams where you have no control over what’s happening. Soft sheets, lazy kisses down your bodies, and a pair of arms holding you safe.

In his dreams, you search through the desk drawer in his apartment in Os Alta. Open every book in his office at the Little Palace. It’s obvious he isn’t a fan of the Lanstov’s, neither were you, but he certainly wasn’t planning anything that the King should be worried about.

You don’t understand it - why him of all people was considered a threat to the Lanstov’s.

It’s Aleksander himself that reveals the answer to your unspoken question. In a dream ballroom, where the two of you dance the night away he tells you how close he is to the line of succession. That his mother is the King’s cousin. With Nikolai being illegitimate, should anything happen to Vasily, as the next male heir Aleksander would inherit the throne.

You’re stunned.

You spend several days mulling this information over in your mind, before you’re summoned to the King, who demands answers.

You don’t give him any. You hadn’t found any damning evidence but the King didn’t seem to care for that, he wanted anything personal that could be used against Aleksander. You refuse yet again, trying to skirt around giving him anything of importance. You couldn’t give away parts of Aleksander, not when he had trusted you with them.

His guards push you backwards, dangling you over the balcony while you gasp and thrash your feet, searching wildly for the floor that’s just out of your reach.

The King surveys your fear filled eyes as you scramble for any sort of balance, nails digging into the arms of his guards. He demands results after your next job. You agree pitifully.

As you’re walking out of the palace, tears in your eyes and body shakily violently, you spot Aleksander. He appears to do a double take as you disappear into the gardens, and looks as if he’s about to follow you until someone calls his name.

Aleksander’s next flight is to Shu Han, and you’re there with him when he falls asleep. The dream you create is simple, just the two of you spending long hours in bed, kissing and holding one another. The sun is warm against your skin as you walk hand in hand with him down a cobbled street, and he feeds you some freshly baked bread. It’s perfect, and you enjoy every second of it.

On the day of his return to Ravka, you hesitate in the airport. You hesitate again as you’re boarding, and even once you’re sitting down in your seat you hesitate. Fingers thrumming nervously against the arm of your chair, you don’t notice any of the people boarding or the man who sits opposite you.

Until he speaks,

“Nervous?”

It’s Aleksander.

Breath catches in your throat at the sound of his voice. It’s a little deeper, stronger than in his dreams. There’s no recognition on his face, and you breathe a little easier knowing he’ll be able to forget about you. You nod.

“A little.”

The stewardess walks down the aisle with a tray in her hand, Aleksander’s usual drink placed on it. The drink that will ensure he’s asleep so that you can join him in his dreams. She offers him the tray with a smile, and your stomach twists.

“That won’t be necessary, thank you.” You tell her, placing your hand over the glass before Aleksander can take it. She raises a brow at you,

“Excuse me?”

“I’m getting off.” You state, standing up and reaching for your bag. “I’m not going back to Ravka.”

“I’m afraid that’s not up to you.” A man remarks and you glance over at him as he blocks the aisle with his arms. You recognise him as one of the King’s guards, and swallow nervously.

Raising your chin defiantly, you toss your bag at him, hitting him square in the face, and turn to run in the opposite direction. Only for another man to be waiting for you. You try to fight him off, but his hands lock around your throat and you’re clawing desperately at him.

Then you’re released, and slump to the floor as you gasp for air, forehead pressing against the rough carpet of the plane. There’s a crash as someone collapses and you tense as you roll onto your back to accept your fate.

Aleksander kneels beside you, cupping your face carefully, dark eyes searching your body for any serious injuries. Further down the aisle, you can see Ivan holding the other King’s guard down on the floor.

Tears spill down your cheeks, as you realise Aleksander had planned this. He had known about you.

“I’m so sorry, Sasha.” You whisper, sobbing as you curl in on yourself. He knows you had tricked him, manipulated him into caring for you. He tucks you against his chest immediately.

“It’s alright, my love. I’m here.” He presses a kiss to the top of your head. “I forgive you.”

“I’m sorry.” You repeat, shaking as you cling to him. His arms are firm around you, and you suddenly realise this is the first time he’s held you, prompting you to cry even harder.

“It’s alright.” He insists firmly, though his tone is still soft, as if he’s afraid of startling you. “Now, let’s get you somewhere safe.”

It isn’t long before the two of you are settled into the master suite of the best hotel Aleksander could find on such short notice. He holds you tight against his chest, as you lie on the huge bed together and he explains everything.

“The King is ill, not many people are aware of it but I doubt he has very long left. After his death, I have plans for Vasily to be caught up in an accident at his summer home.”

“Leaving the throne to you.”

Part of you feels saddened, that the King’s suspicions about Aleksander were right - that he wanted to steal the throne for himself.

“My first order of business will be to establish a functioning government. I’ll remain in office until the elections are over, then I plan to abdicate.”

You blink a few times, trying to process everything he’s just told you. He didn’t want the throne. He wanted to help Ravka. You knew he was smart, and good, but this exceeded your expectations of him.

“How did I never find anything about this in your mind?” You ask quietly as you fiddle with the buttons of his shirt, voicing what had been plaguing your mind. Maybe you were losing your touch? Or had you just been blinded by your own feelings for him?

“You never found the safe did you?”

“A safe?” You shake your head, pausing to think for a long moment. “Not many people keep their thoughts in a safe.” Tilting your head up, you rest your chin on his chest as you look at his face. “You knew I was coming.”

He nods.

“As soon as the King called you back to Ravka, I had my people begin looking into you. Your old mentor, Botkin, helped me make the safe and tested it himself.”

“I can’t manipulate a dream if someone knows I’m there.” He nods slowly as you frown. “The only way I would be able to change your dreams…”

“Would be because I let you.” He finishes. Lips parted, your brows crease in confusion.

“Why?”

“Perhaps, I was curious about what you would do.”

The two of you are quiet as you think over the time you had spent with him, in his dreams. The conversations you’d had; the moments you’d shared. Despite the reason for why you were in his mind, you hadn’t demanded anything of him.

You place your palm on his chest, directly over his heart, feeling it beat beneath your touch as you tell him something that you desperately need him to understand.

“It was real for me, Aleksander. All of it was real.” His own hand lies over yours, his fingers curling around your own as he says,

“It was real for me too.”

»»---------------------►

marvelmusing Tag List: @dreamlandcreations @blanchedelioncourt @idaofinfinity

BB Characters Tag List: @rachlovesactors

#aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling x reader #the darkling #the darkling au #the darkling x you #the darkling x y/n #inception au #the darkling moodboard #shadow and bone au #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone

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universe-friday · 6 months

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EXCERPT #4:

Hello. I hope somebody is listening.

[...]

Let me tell you, old sport. This past week has been… odd.

Remember that call from K? That cut me short? He called to ask if I wanted to join him for his patrol that night…

My parents always reinforced stranger danger when I was a kid, but when you end up in the City, that rule flies out the window. So, naturally, I agree to meet up.

It wasn’t as if I had never talked to the guy. I just didn’t know what to expect. I’ve certainly heard bad reviews of the online dating scene around here… who taught the cyborgs to catfish?

But I digress. K asked to meet on some rooftop, not one which I’ve ever been on before. I presume he must have tough security… to keep up the anonymous identity.

As I emerge on the rooftop, I am greeted - not by K - but by his setup. Multiple monitors of hacked CCTV footage, numerous pages of scribbled notes in writing, all without a desk for it to stand on. As I ponder over this… floor setup… it is only when I peer to my left that I see him.

He crouches on the edge of the roof, a dark figure; a moving shadow. His head peers from left to right, back and forward, scanning the streets carefully. I don’t think he noticed me come in until I cleared my throat.

When he turns around I am still greeted by that same black figure. I just about can’t make out his face… with a mask and a hood, he remains anonymous, even to the human eye.

His energy immediately catches me off guard. He walks over to me, and, chipper as ever, holds out a hand and he awkwardly initiates some handshake I was unable to follow along with.

The night was normal, for the most part. He walked me through his setup and I got to experience how he patrols first hand.

[...]

As we’re wrapping up for the night, with the sun rising in the distance and students stumbling home, K turns to me. He told me that, even though the sun is returning, the clubs haven’t gone yet - and they won’t be for 30 more minutes. He decided to ask if I wanted to join him… on, what he describes as his, ‘end-of-patrol party’... which he does daily.

Old sport, if I were to tell you anything, it’s that I hate these clubs.

Sticky floors, deafening electronic music, sweat, spilt drinks on your favourite clothes… I’ve never understood the appeal.

Despite this, I agreed to go. What’s 30 minutes anyway?

To answer that question, a lifetime.

Immediately as we get in, K heads straight for the bar, orders two drinks and hands me one. I didn’t know what it was… and I still don’t know.

K begins to dance and jump about like crazy… and there I am, still as a tree.

The music just goes through me… in all the worst ways possible. It’s scratching at my ears… it makes my head pound. I was already sick of it.

I turn to K - who’s still very enthusiastically jumping around - and, as best and loud as I can, tell him I feel ill. I tell him I’m heading out.

He assures me I’ll be fine with some drink in me. That it’ll get my… ‘dance on’ and I’ll immediately feel better. I tell him otherwise, but he persists.

I decided to leave without saying anything.

He calls me the next night, asking if, ‘We good?’, in his words.

I decided to say yes. Despite everything from the previous night, just to assure him.

He once again invited me to patrol that night. I respond, ‘Just patrol.’

[..]

K finishes patrol early that night so we can hang out. As I am about to ask what he has in mind, he interrupts, telling me we have the ‘privilege’ to spend a whole hour in clubs this time.

I sigh and show my reluctance, suggesting a park, or maybe a cafe, as they are just now opening up for the morning.

He tells me he doesn’t see how that’s fun. He insists on the clubs. Will even buy me a drink, he says.

I tell him no. He doesn’t accept any of my explanations, which he deems ‘excuses;. I leave. I haven’t spoken to him since.

The phone box rings endlessly, and I’m searching for a new hiding spot. There are very few that allow you to hide from the monsters, but even fewer to hide you from Nightcrawler himself.

What am I to do, old sport?

[...]

#aled last #alice oseman #frances janvier #original work #osemanverse #radio silence #universe city #universe city podcast #carys last #february friday #universe city excerpt #universe friday #universe friday excerpts #aled and frances #original fiction #daniel jun #original story #osemanverse books

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ladyloveandjustice · 9 months

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Spring 2023 Anime Overview: Oshi no Ko

Spoiler free premise: A doctor in a small town is a fan of a sixteen-year-old idol Ai Hoshino. But then Ai shows up with a secret pregnancy. Now he’s going to have to figure out how to deal with her secret and safeguard her from obsessive fans as he helps her give birth…

Spoiler for the entire first super long episode twist premise under the cut:

…that is, until the doctor is murdered by Ai’s stalker and reincarnates as Aqua, one of the twin children Ai gives birth to. The other twin, Ruby, is also a reincarnated soul. She was a former patient of the doctor’s, a twelve-year-old who was a huge fan of Ai before dying of terminal illness. Both twins are unaware of the other’s former identity, but they both enjoy their new lease on life and come to love Ai all the more.

All seems well (I mean well for the twins, that is, not for the viewer who has to grapple with all this bizarre and creepy premise) until the same stalker that murdered the doctor murders Ai herself. Aqua realizes his father/Ai’s secret lover must have leaked Ai’s location to the stalker on purpose. The problem is that Ai never told Aqua and Ruby who their father was. So Aqua vows to track down his father and kill the man for what he did to Ai, whatever the cost. After growing into a teenager, he gets more involved in the entertainment industry and begins his search for his mother’s true killer in earnest.

Yeah, that’s a lot isn’t it? And it probably doesn’t help when I tell you that before he becomes Aqua, the doctor basically admits he, an adult man, wouldn’t turn down a date from the sixteen year old Ai, prompting the nurse to call him a lolicon (because anime will always insist on using that phrase where they should say ‘pedophile/ephebophile'). Or that baby Aqua refuses to breastfeed with Ai, but his twelve-year-old-girl-in-a-past-life twin happily does so with a huge, lascivious grin. (There’s also a discussion where Aqua says ‘he’ll let it slide’ when he learns Ruby was a girl in her past life too, she’s like ‘wow so great I was born a girl so I can enjoy mama's/Ai's breasts” and he’s like “no it’s not okay actually” and you just have to sit back and realize this is a conversation you’re watching on TV. This is where your life has bought you. )

Why did you keep watching, you ask me when I say these things? Well, it was well-made and engrossing. The animation was great, the pace was snappy, and Ai was instantly endearing. Plus everyone was talking about it endlessly on a discord I belong to, and they said after the first episodes the weirdness of the reincarnation angle becomes less important, the horny baby antics go away, and it becomes more of a straightforward murder mystery and a intriguing exploration of the entertainment industry.

And that’s pretty much true. The show goes out of the way to handwave Aqua’s past life by saying going through puberty and infantile amnesia means he now doesn’t know where he starts and the other dude begins anymore, and he essentially feels like a teenager.

Where Oshi no Ko is truly compelling is it’s exploration of the predatory entertainment industry and the twisted misogyny and parasociality of idol fandom.

It makes some basic, but very needed, points. It points out that fans who freak out over 'their' idols having a relationship and blame them for it are gross, and the industry that puts them in a box is gross. This is very basic stuff, but still underdiscussed in anime. A lot of anime pretend all is well for an idol since the anime industry itself makes bank off idols. So it was satisfying to see to see a character scream ‘You all fall in love with idols, it's selfish to say idols can't fall in love! You take out all your anger on women because you don't have a girlfriend!" at the endless twitter comments saying it was "expected" that Ai was killed for ‘betraying’ her fans. It's also clear the author did a lot of research on the entertainment industry and has a lot to share. A lot of what he has to share is really interesting, and I appreciate that in his interviews he wanted to make sure Americans understand that Japanese actors and idols don’t have unions and it leaves them open to even more exploitation.

(Even the bizarre premise of the anime is nod to a gross “joke” idol fans make- a lot of 2channers apparently joke about wanting to “be reborn” as their favorite idol’s child whenever there’s a marriage announcement. However, it feels like the premise is rooted a lot in shock value...)

At the same time, Oshi no Ko doesn’t really go as hard as people act like it does. It’s not Perfect Blue, and it pulls its punches. It still goes for easy answers sometimes, and what’s worse, easy answers that lionize its obnoxious protagonist. Never is this more apparent that the cyberbullying arc.

First, let’s be clear- the cyberbullying arc focuses on a reality show actor, a girl named Akane, being driven to attempt suicide after a bunch of internet detractors harass her over something she did on the show (that the producers pressured her into doing in the first place). However, Aqua saves her at the last minute.

Hana Kimura lost her life in a very similar incident just a few months before this arc in the manga was published and the author’s spoken about it on record. Hana was a pro-wrestler who was on the reality show Terrace House, and what happened to her is the same thing in broad strokes, only she didn’t get a convenient rescue. But nobody bothered to contact Hana’s family about any of this, so Hana’s mother was blindsided when she heard about it, and claims some of the hate messages in the anime are identical to the ones Hana received in real life. She pleaded that "Because it raises important issues, I would like to support a work like Oshi no Ko. However, I don't think it needs to be done in a way that makes people who have actually been victimized on social media suffer when they see it.”.

Oshi no Ko fans, having just watched an arc about the serious consequences of internet harassment, were of course respectful to the grieving mother of a harassment victim- nah, they harassed Hana’s mom for criticizing the show. Another example of the incredible media literacy of anime fans.

All of that was already not a great look for the manga and show, and I think the kind thing to do would have been to contact the family before telling this story. But even if that wasn’t a thing, I didn’t like how this arc was handled. After Akane is saved by Aqua, he leaks her attempted suicide to the press. Though there’s a mention that this unethical, he’s never really taken to task or confronted with the fact this violation of her privacy could have led to another (potentially successful!) suicide attempt. Then he talks to the director, reminds him that Akane is a teenager and adults should protect children, the director has a change of heart. Aqua's given permission to release footage of the cast being friends, the harassment dies down and Akane immediately gets better offscreen, because that’s how trauma and depression works!

God, ‘depression is NBD! You recover quickly!’ is one of my biggest fiction pet peeves. Considering how despicable the producers were to Hana IRL, the whole storyline wrapping up like this wasn't just sloppy and lazy, it was insulting.

Rather than explore with the actual messy fallout this would realistically have for Akane, it just had Aqua get to be the edgy savior who was In the Right even though his actions were horrible and could have had catastrophic consequences. Also the ‘adults should protect kids’ moral felt weak when Hana and many other entertainers who hurt themselves after being mistreated by fans and the industry were adults. Did they not deserve to be protected?

And I guess it sums up a lot of my problems with the show. It's painstakingly researched and talks about interesting stuff (though sometimes one character has to become an exposition machine just so we don't miss ANY of the author's research, which can feel awkward). It has some interesting and complex main female characters … but 3/4s of them have some romantic connection to Aqua, which grates. It’s more honest about the idol industry than most anime, but also sometimes pulls its punches when it comes to exploring actual mental illness and industry abuse.

'Aqua is the smartest and all the girls are sooo into him’ gets pretty annoying. Two girls are already in love with him, and even without the really unnecessary ‘was a pedophile in a past life’ baggage, he barely has a personality. Aaaand there’s how we have to listen to him muse about whether he was in love with his mom. Aaaand there's the looming threat that the next girl to fall in love with him will be his sister, since she muses she was in love with the doctor in her past life.

Once sis mentioned that, I started wondering if I should even come back to season 2. Leaning towards ‘no’ right now (definitely not if the manga really does…that). I don’t regret watching ONK- it was interesting, well animated and produced, and the theme song is a certified bop- but it’s also not something I could ever recommend to anyone. It’s the most fraught show I’ve watched in a long time, and in the end, I’m not sure all of its weird parts add up to a satisfying, truly subversive story. It’s a mess, but time will tell if it’s an intriguing enough mess for me to come back to.

#oshi no ko #spring 2023 anime #anime overview #my reviews #anime #Ended up writing way more than I thought I would oops #there's a lot to unpack

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white-poppie · 2 years

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𝙎𝙖𝙪𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙞

Characters: K.Hanemiya x Gn! reader Genre: ANGST🪐 Warnings: insecurities, mentions of mental illnesses, mentions of past SH, Tora being big sad, Abuse, Tora hurts reader accidentally Age Rating: 11+ WC: 1k+ Writer: @ white-poppie

A/N: This fic is an of Because I love you! drabble

Kazutora Hanemiya was a paradox.

Even after 6 months of actually dating you, Kazutora didn't understand the concept of 'romantic love.'

He didn't harm himself, not anymore. He isolated himself, didn't eat, didn't bathe and spent cold, sleepless nights with too many thoughts matched with too few words to express them.

You were his only ease. He still remembers the day he got out of juvie and how lept in his arms, running across the road. Kazutora was glad, someone had waited for him long enough. Someone had waited for him for 12 years.

...but he didn't deserve it.

He never understood how Takemitchi's eyes would light up when he talked about Hina, when Draken would blabber about Emma or when Hakkai would talk about this girl he was dating.

He felt like a con man, a faux, a phoney. He hated how your eyes would light up when you talked to him. He just listened and realized how wrong he is to think he is capable of loving someone.

He sought atonement, searched for solace, yet found comfort in his old gruesome and masochistic ways of torturing himself--paying for his sins.

Chifuyu knew something was up when the nail polish on his nails was chipped and the roots of his dyed hair were showing.

His callused hands picked up whatever was needed to be picked up, did whatever was needed to be done, but his eyes were dazed out-- he had no idea when the day started or when it ended; it was all a huge void.

It was one of those days when Chifuyu had to go for an errand. You had almost always worked in the shop with Chifuyu, never truly alone with Tora.

It was one of the worst days for him. Heart hammered in his chest as he looked at the calendar again. The numbers wouldn't change, they would still be the same.

31st October. Bloody Halloween.

Halloween wasn't a very big deal in Japan, but whatever excitement there was for the festival dissipated on that day for him.

His fingers found a way to pick at the old scabs yet again, this nauseated feeling making warm blood rush to his years and heart drum with dread.

He...was going to kill everyone! Fucking psycho like him didn't deserve to be out!

Well...technically wasn't his fault...it was the people around him. Tora wasn't responsible for all this; he wasn't made to be around people.

That's right! People disgusted him! They were selfish, cruel and huge hypocrites!

He didn't even realise he was pacing around wildly; tripping over containers.

You were minding your own business when you heard a crashing sound from the storage. You rushed towards the sound, heart thumping wildly for no reason.

"Tora are y-" your words died down in your mouth when you saw him break down.

"Woah Woah, Tora!" you tried to call him, but your words were deaf to his ears. It was scary to see the man you loved fall apart. Falling and tripping on containers like a confused animal.

“Tora! Tora stop you will hurt yourself!” you tried to hold him still, he struggled in your grip, writhing. Your heart pounded in your ears and at the same time hurt for him to see him so terrified.

“Tora, please, please, shh it's okay, we will figure it out, calm down,” your lips trembled as you uttered the words.

"Lemme Go, Lemme Go," he chanted like a child to his mother, crying desperately to be freed from punishment. But he had done nothing wrong and neither were you punishing him.

“No! Let me go!” he was moving like a worm in your hold now. You couldn’t leave him! You could already see the bruise forming on his hand due to bumping against the table, he would just end up hurting himself more. If you left him, he would go crashing into the rack and hurt himself badly. His eyes were hazy and half-lidded, he almost looked intoxicated.

"TORA, STOP GODDAMN IT!" You shouted so loudly that you could still feel the vibration of the noise in your larynx.

His body trembled violently in your hold and you loosened your grip on instinct to look at him.

" 'Mi..Miya?" you asked hesitantly, "love are you okay?"

Love...oh no, you were in love with him. No, no, no go away! he didn't need you.

His nails clawed on your arms. You pushed him away as tears sprung in your eyes. He hurt you...Kazutora Hanemiya attacked you while you were just trying to take care of him?!

But he was blind to it...his vision was still clouded by panic and turmoil, and you were far too tired to do anything. So you just stood, with your hand cupping your cuts.

"I don’t love you!” His words pierced you more than his nails could ever have, "I can't love anyone! You are all the same!"

A sob escaped your throat as you cried in pain. This seemed to have snapped him back to his senses. His eyes widened as pupils moved in panic.

“Y/N,” he said too gently as if scared that his words will hurt you more.

Tears of humiliation, rejection and pain flowed down your eyes.

“I didn’t mean it!” he cried and fell to his knees, “I didn’t mean it, please I am so sorry! You are always looking after me, you don’t deserve to be treated like this, I am so stupid!”

His tears stained your shoes, but you were far too tired to do anything.

" 'M sorry Tora, I tried to be so gentle with you and help you through your recovery," you said and he nodded fervently; his forehead resting on your knee and hands gripping your shoes like he was scared that you would disappear.

"Get up," you ordered and he looked at you to see a reaction. There was none, and so he complied.

Your voice cracked as you said the next words, "I waited 12 years for you."

Kazutora didn’t respond, he just kept staring blankly at the blood that dripped from your arms.

You gulped at that and slowly traced your steps backwards to leave. he didn't stop you.

He didn't stop you as you walked out of his life, for good.

Tokyo Revengers (東京リベンジャーズ)

Also Check out: L'appel du vide

Synopsis: Your husband, Hanma Shuji is dead! You team up with Tachibana Naoto, Chifuyu Matsuno, Ryuguji Ken and Mitsuya Takashi, you go on a journey full of betrayals and twists. Can you find out what really happened to your husband?

Taglist:

@sakinotfound @denkis111, @jazzylove,@maybeleftoverjourneys, @lordmypantsaresocool, @futuristicallykawaiiturtle, @kristaline2dmensimp, , @rintaroubby @nanaseishiro @idowritingandstuff, @bakaface

Requests are open (*3*) Reblog/like to give the author a hug (´;︵;)

╰┈➤ Book order details (Request Rules) ╰┈➤ Special customers(Taglist)

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lucileeris · 1 month

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ok the post about what metric people use to determine what fics to read is still living in my head. we all know that the ACTUAL counts rely extremely heavily on the popularity of the fandom & pairing so ill skip on that. the rest of it is what's really interesting anyway

ill just use my own fics as an example of what im talking about when i say that the only consistent are posting date and word count. i wont bore anyone with the other 83 fics so ill just show you my top 5 fics for each metric for fun:

first is word count, which is extremely straightforward. this is what i use to figure out what fics i want to read but apparently this is extremely uncommon lol

here's hits, which are more than anything a function of how long the fic has been around... with some obvious exceptions. i have found that the more controversial fics will have the highest hit counts pretty much no matter what lol. the second fic on this is about a student/teacher relationship and isn't on the other top 5s even though people often read it judging by the hits LOL, they are just silent readers!

next is kudos! aside from conviction (a very old and somewhat popular longfic i wrote), they are pretty much fluff lol. well the last one is smut but it's popular smut because it was one of the first pwps for the pairing that i wrote it for regardless of if it's actually good or not

comments are another metric i see people use often. keep in mind the COMMENTS and COMMENT THREADS are two totally different things. i dont personally respond to comments bc i find it a little overwhelming lol but the fics here are quite different from the other ones right?

these are generally the fics that people had a lot to say about because they felt that they were extremely special fics, compared to the ones that get kudos often which are usually fluff and pwp

bookmarks! now the bookmarks in stats are different from the bookmarks in searches - those don't include private bookmarks, but in your user stats, the counts DO include the private ones. while some other metrics favor longfics or oneshots (ESPECIALLY when you start bringing ratios in), the bookmarks tab is quite consistent between the two. just keep in mind that the public bookmarks are VERY different from the private ones sometimes, especially with pwp.

last and usually least is the subscriptions filter. you can only see these as the author so no one sorts reading material with it, but for the authors, it's pretty much just a function of fandom/ship popularity and how long it takes between updates/how long it's been updating TBH. just because a fic has few subs doesn't mean people aren't reading it!

okay that's everything i wanted to say i think :3 im glad i had the chance to make this post lol because it does annoy me when people use certain metrics to decide what's "good" even though each fic excels in different places!

#i know i know. i really didnt have to make a post of this size about something random yet again. however it's fun

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exoticbabe69 · 2 years

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Theseus Scamander x reader.

✨Love is magical✨

It’s Saturday, the birds are chirping outside your window, the sun is out and the snow is beginning to melt a little. The day is already off to an amazing start, you wake up grinning from ear to ear remembering your conversation with the handsome stranger you met the night before. Theseus Scamander *ah, what a lovely and unique name* you thought to yourself, it’s almost mystical sounding. You dance out of bed and begin your day feeling like you’re on top of the world.✨

After making breakfast and cleaning your home a bit, you start to panic. “What the hell am I going to wear on my date tonight?” Shwooooshhhh, you hear the weather outside changing, suddenly it’s more gloomy now the sun is gone and it begins to snow again. Anyone else would find it strange that when their mood changes so does the weather around them, but you grew up with certain weird things always transpiring. So much that they all seemed normal to you now. Like when anyone would make you upset almost immediately after they’d trip or accidentally bump into something, or how anytime you wanted anything deeply whether it was a toy or a good grade it would always manifest or appear for you. Not to mention your healing powers, whenever someone felt ill or down, being in your presence always made them feel better and at peace. Even now worrying about what to wear to dinner, 5 minutes into searching your closet the gorgeous dress you bought 2 weeks ago is hanging untouched and you sigh relieved. It was an elegant deep v neck red dress that accentuated your beautiful figure, plus you had the perfect red lipstick to match.

You put your favorite record on and start getting ready for your date. The clock struck 6 and you hear a knock at the door. Butterflies immediately fill your stomach and you run to the mirror for a quick last minute glance to make sure you looked okay, you were stunning. You open the door and Theseus is standing there with a huge grin on his face. He was wearing a matching suit with a scarf, his brown curls were slicked back a bit, he looked as handsome as you remembered. In his hands were a dozen red roses “these are for you y/n, you look absolutely breath taking” he couldn’t stop staring at you with these googoo eyes, almost like they were filled with love. You thank him and give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Shall we get going then?” He says, taking your hand in his. As you both walk outside you notice a horse drawn carriage arrive. Theseus looks at you and says “I figured this would be a good way to show you the town.” Your heart was filled with joy, how romantic you thought to yourself. You set off on the ride and rest your head on his shoulder. Theseus wraps one arm around you and the other he uses to hold your hand. There was something so warm and familiar about him.

After getting a magical city carriage tour, you and Theseus arrive at a fancy restaurant *Le petite fleur.* You order food and drinks and talk more about your lives. He opens up to you talking about his family, his brother Newt, and how stressful his job is. You say “who knew architecture would be such a stressful field to work in.” He looks down and chuckles awkwardly “yeah.”

“So what does your brother Newt do for work?”

“He’s a magi— zoologist”

“A what?”

“A zoologist.”

“Oh how fascinating!” You say.

Theseus looks to the orchestra playing music in the front of the restaurant. There are couples dancing around that middle area. “May I have this dance” he smiles and asks. “You may” you reply. You both get up and head to the dance floor. He wraps both arms around your waist and you gently place your arms around his neck. You two are gazing into each other’s eyes as you slow dance. “I think I might be falling for you” Theseus whispers in your ear. The night couldn’t be any more perfect. As you rest your head on his shoulder, you look up to see a white owl flying outside the restaurant. Theseus stops dancing abruptly “I’ll be right back!” he says nervously. When he returns he tells you he has to go, some urgent work related matter has come up. “I’ve paid for the bill and the carriage will take you home, I’m so sorry y/n, I want nothing more than to spend the rest of this amazing evening with you and make sure you get home safely but I must go.” He looks into your eyes with compassion and kisses your hand.

“What in the actual fuck?” You think to yourself. “What could possibly be this urgent on a Saturday for someone that works in architecture?” “Is he lying?” “Did he not enjoy the date?” “Is he secretly married?” A million thoughts raced through your head. You being the inquisitive being that you are, decided to follow him discreetly. As you saw him turn the corner you peaked around, seeing him take what looked like a wooden stick out of his pocket.

Boom! A flash of light appeared and he was gone! You couldn’t believe what you just saw. “Am I hallucinating?!” “Did he really just disappear into thin air?” You start to feel your face and body to make sure you weren’t dreaming. You weren’t.

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selenacosmic · 1 year

Text

Falling in love again.(2/2)

Birthday special pt.2.

This is slightly inspired by the event “fall in love again.”. Shingen temporarily loses his memory of his lover, during his birthday. His mission is to try to remember her without letting her notice it.

This is the part 2, the final part of this birthday special. I hope this last part doesn’t feel too rushed.

Shingen couldn’t tell if this was the first time he ever felt at a loss of words. Of course, he had encountered many situations when he couldn’t find the right words to express himself, but on this particular case, he could only stare back at his lover. This feeling of being loved by someone is something he had dreamed of before, though he never expected it to achieve it in his life.

He noticed that he had made her wait too much, he ate the chestnut buns immediately. They were… delicious! The buns were very sweet and soft to the bite, his grey eyes could shine like diamonds from the amount of delight he was feeling.

“So? Are they good?” She asks with an expectant look on her face, eager to hear his response.

“These are delicious, just as sweet as I like.” He smiles warmly as he eats more, feeling happy that he could eat as many as he wanted.

“I am glad, I was afraid they weren’t going to be sweet enough.” Oh? This made him wonder now, the owner of the tea house winked at Selena, she was eagerly waiting for his response… these buns aren’t warm, they weren’t made right now.

Did she make these? He could tell that they were made a while back, since they were at a normal temperature now. Even when they weren’t warm, the buns were still wonderful.

“My angel is very attentive, though you shouldn’t doubt your cooking skills.” Has she cooked for him before? He couldn’t remember that either, but the idea of trying out more of her food made him eager.

“My cooking… how did you figure it out?” Despite her surprise, it seemed obvious that shingen would end up finding out about this. He smirked widely at her before patting her head.

“You should know that there is nothing you can hide from me.” The way she leaned towards his hand, almost like a cat being patted, filled his heart with joy.

All of this felt natural, this felt like a dream to shingen. Being cured from his illness, being able to spend another year with the ones he loved, having a fiancée… was he too selfish for wanting this dream to never end? He felt bitter at the thought of wishing for more of this warmth.

“Dear? You have been too quiet lately, is everything ok?” Ah, did she notice that? He was afraid of speaking too much and ending up revealing the fact that he couldn’t remember anything.

“I was just enjoying my time with my sweet angel. How about we take these sweets somewhere else with us?” At that idea her eyes glimmered, seemed like she had more things prepared for their tryst. Perhaps it wasn’t a bad idea to wish for a little more from this dream.

She took his hand, smiling brightly as they got ready to leave with the sweets. He knew that it was his mission to try and regain his memories as soon as possible, but… there was no harm in just enjoying himself a little bit, right? Let himself be selfish for just this moment.

————

Their date only ended when it was time to go back to the castle so that they could get ready for the banquet that kenshin was planning, which was most likely an excuse to drink as much as he wanted while talking about war. But there was one problem that he couldn’t ignore… they had to change clothes in the same room.

He wasn’t embarrassed, far from it. The problem was that he would easily be tempted to abandon the feast and just celebrate with his fiancée, just the two of them. How was that a problem? Well, he was slowly regaining his memories but they weren’t fully back, and Kenshin would come searching for them. Shingen would feel guilty to be with her when he was still recovering his memories of her, he couldn’t be more selfish than he was already.

Though that didn’t mean he didn’t look back at her, she was still getting dressed, her back was showing.

“I know you are looking. I am surprised you still haven’t offered to help me get dressed.” She wasn’t even embarrassed when saying that, his fiancée was most likely teasing him. If she kept that up, he would most likely stop holding himself back.

“I didn’t offer my services because I am not that good at helping someone get dressed. I am, however, very good at helping someone getting undressed.” He decided to move closer when he noticed that she was still looking at him, it seems like she noticed something was wrong.

“That’s not the only odd thing that happened today, though. Shingen, what’s the matter?” She crossed her arms and moved closer to him, hoping that he would be more sincere with her. In the end, she got him.

He truly couldn’t hide this from his lover, could he? Well, she did say before that she had the right to worry about him, so she had the right to know about what was happening to him. Shingen had only hoped that he could have regained all of his memories before she suspected that something was wrong.

“You noticed, didn’t you? I truly am lucky to have such a wonderful fiancée.” He brought her into his arms, an embrace that he was longing to give her all day. “The truth is… I have lost my memories of you since morning.”

It hurted to say the truth like this, his lover would naturally feel sad to know that during this whole time, he had forgotten about her.

She froze in his arms, not saying anything. He felt horrible for revealing something like that to her this soon, Shingen knew that this would upset her.

“And you didn’t tell me anything until now…?” He could hear how hurt she was because of her voice, Selena was hiding her face on his chest. He couldn’t tell what expression she had on her face.

“I was worried that i would upset you if I tol-ouch…?” He felt himself being pulled down, his face was now inches away from hers. It took him a few seconds to understand what was happening.

Selena was pulling on his ear, making him face her angry face. How come his fiancée is this short but also so strong? Her hold on his ear didn’t stop.

“You didn’t want to worry me? If you had told me, i would have done everything I could to help you regain your memories! Am I that unreliable?” She scolded him hard, clearly upset that he decided to do this by himself.

Shingen was surprised by two things, one was that her reaction was completely different from what he expected. And two, he was actually smitten by his strong fiancée. How come such a short and cute woman could be this strong against him?

“And that’s not all, you pretended the whole day to still remember me… why?” Her anger began subsiding, sadness seemed to take over her. “Why are you so selfless…?”

“Goddess..?” He got worried when he noticed tears rolling down her cheeks.

This was unexpected, his heart pained at the sight of his fiancée crying. Now they both threw themselves in each other’s arms, it was a moment for comfort. Her head was resting on top of his chest, one of her hands on top of the place where his heart was. It took them both a while to speak again. It was her who spoke first.

“You should have told me, you… stupid man..” her voice was a bit weak, his warm hand found its way towards her cheek, his thumb stroking her face lovingly.

“I know, but I couldn’t bear to see you crying. Even now I am still trying to find out more about you.” Yes, there were still a few memories missing, but he found out something important as they both spend time with each other. He was falling in love with his fiancée all over again. Her caring and loving nature, her nagging towards him, even when she was pulling on his ear just now. He loved all of that.

“Still, I wouldn’t have cried… much. I would have focused on helping you.” She moved away from his chest to look up at him. “Do you… remember me at all now?”

“I am remembering you, and I find myself falling deeper for you the more I learn about you.” He was being sincere, everything he learned about her made her seem like an angel who came into his life to make his dreams come true. His dreams of having someone by his side, someone who loved and understood him.

“Well, maybe this could help you remember me a bit more.” She moved closer, her hands holding his face gently. He responded her touches by hugging her waist, his face getting closer to hers.

Their lips touched, finally. At first it was only an innocent, gentle touch. He longed to know how her lips felt like throughout the whole day, they were sweeter than he expected. Slowly, they both tilted her heads to deepen their kiss, their lips opening to give space for their tongues. One of his hands moved up to hold the back of her head, pulling her closer to him. He had kissed many times before, but this felt different. It was like they were connected to each other, they filled each other with warmth while kissing.

Not only that, but she was right when she proposed that kissing would help him remember her. His eyes closed as he gave in to the feeling, and just like that many images flashed in his mind. But this time there was no headache, just… warmth. He was being enveloped by her love, and he hoped that she felt enveloped by his love as well.

Finally, their kiss came to an end, but their gaze didn’t drift away from each other. She held one of his hands and brought it to her face, leaning her cheek against his palm.

“So, did I help you in any way?” A sweet smile formed on her lips, one that he loved quite a lot. All her smiles were beautiful, but this one conquered his heart.

“My goddess knows exactly how to play with my heartstrings, you helped me more than you think.” He moved closer to plant a kiss on her forehead.

“Good, though I can help you more if you want.” Now that sweet smile turned into a mischievous one, a smile that he also adored.

“I would love nothing m-.” Before he could finish his sentence, the door to their room was opened suddenly. An angry kenshin was looking at them with a sword in hands.

“Shingen Takeda, for making me wait all this time after I prepared the banquet for your birthday, I come to present my own gift to you. Death.” They could see Sasuke and Yukimura trying to stop him from attacking.

“Lord kenshin, I advise you to put your sword away. I can sense that we interrupted something important.” Sasuke said while trying to pull his angry lord away.

“Seriously, who even offers that as a gift?” Yukimura was also trying to hold kenshin back. Meanwhile Yoshimoto was not even trying, he was fanning himself as he watched the scene.

That earned a laugh from Shingen, he did expect this to happen eventually. Though he was hoping Kenshin didn’t interrupt what was about to happen.

“Coming from you, old friend, I accept a duel. And a round of drinking to make up my late arrival.” He held Selena closer, gently rubbing her waist as a way to say that ‘they will continue this later’. To which she replied by kissing his cheek.

“Hmph. I accept that as your apology.” Kenshin seemed to have calmed down. A little bit. They all decided to celebrate throughout the whole night together at the banquet.

————

A few hours before…

“So, you are saying that we don’t have to do anything at all?” Yoshimoto frowned at Sasuke’s conclusion, drinking a cup of tea to calm himself down.

“If my studies are correct, all that lord Shingen needs to do is spend time with Selena to recover his memories.” Sasuke was sitting across Yoshimoto, they were both having tea in his room. Though it seemed impossible for Yoshimoto to not stare at the mess that was Sasuke’s room.

“Then, all we have to do is wait.” Concluded Yoshimoto after Sasuke explained the phenomenon.

“That’s right. Yesterday there was a big storm, it could be related to the wormhole. If it can manipulate people’s memories… i should find a way to investigate and study this.” He adjusted his glasses and began to write on his notebook, apparently excited at the new discovery.

“I will never understand your excitement over these things…” Yoshimoto sighed as he fanned himself.

End.

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen #ikemen sengoku shingen #ikesen shingen

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deleteddewewted · 2 years

Note

How about Sweet and Sour with Rengoku? At first he’s in love with you, but then he falls out of love with you.

Sweet and Sour: Loving You

Rengoku x Gn! Reader

❤️🖤Sweet And Sour Event (May 21 - June 26)(JJK, MHA, KNY Characters Only!)❤️🖤

❤️🖤Sweet And Sour Event Masterlist❤️🖤

W: Heartbreak, Angst, A Bit Suggestive, No Comfort, Just Pain

If you'd like to support my work (Check my Ko-fi and Throne!)

He found you sitting on a rock by a calm river. His eyes couldn't leave your figure as you basked almost nude under the moonlight. He grew concerned at the lack of movement coming from you but you soon sensed a pair of eyes and turned around to face the being. Rengoku’s eyes widened when you turned to face him and his heart raced once he got to see your face. The moonlight already made you illuminate, your figure caressed by the blue hue but your features were just divine. He couldn't help the heat that overcame his face nor the sudden dry mouth he suffered from but what he could do was scream at you.

“Hello, stranger! Are you well? I would recommend not being outside so late! Demons may lurk around these parts and it would be a shame if you were to be attacked by one!” He startled you and he even caused you to fall off the rock and into the river. He hadn't noticed you disappear until he reopened his eyes. He had hoped that by closing them your beauty wouldn’t be able to distract him and inhibit him from speaking clearly. When he reopened them, you were drenched and shaking. He quickly ran towards you and placed his haori on you to shield you from the cold air.

“I-I’m sorry! Please forgive me for startling you! It was not within my intentions to cause you such misfortune!” You pulled the haori closer around yourself and accidentally picked up on the scent that clung to it. It was intoxicating, his scent consisting of burning wood and a light musk. Masculine was the word you searched for. It had your face heat up since, in a way, this was too intimate for two strangers.

He looked at you with what can only be described as lust and you could say the same about yourself. He was handsome, his hair screaming for attention while his gaze never wavering. He bowed to you and moved his arms behind him to show no ill intent.

“May I escort you to your home?! I would feel much more assured if I took you back to your residence.” You laughed as he furrowed his brows at you after taking off his haori and handing it back.

“There will be no need for such a thing, Flame Hashira.” You buttoned up your uniform and walked away from him. He stood in awe as he watched you grab your forgotten sword and resheathed it.

“I’m very much capable of taking care of myself, though, the company would be welcomed.” You turned and smiled back at him before walking away into the vast dirt road. Rengoku had no idea what he was feeling. He knew he liked looking at you and that your body was beyond words when it came to describing just how attractive it was. His body felt engulfed in hellfire but not out of a fear of dying. He was attracted to you.

Courting came easy for him. He knew that to prove himself as the best man for you, he had to show he was able to provide necessities and beyond. He brought you flowers that he would find on his way back from his missions and even got you hair ornaments that he thought would complement your features. His mind and heart were drowning in you. You were the only thing plaguing him and it had him working harder to make his way back to you. You were not any different than him. You bought materials to make him a scarf and had a cologne costume made for him that had wisteria to help keep him safe when not in active combat. You did everything to show him you were worthy of his affection and that he was the one who captured your heart.

You lay in one another’s arms late in the night, whispering sweet nothing to each other and talking about your plans together. A date night next week, making dinner together tomorrow, and maybe getting a chance to watch a sumo wrestling match with him next month if neither you nor he was busy. It was warm in his embrace and his heart would beat for you as your own would for him.

But, it all came crashing when he bluntly proclaimed that he had lost that fire. That the nights spent together no longer held his breath and made him flushed. His smile was no longer as bright when he would visit you at your estate and the domesticity that you both had fallen into was forgotten. You missed his kisses, the heated exchanges after weeks without seeing each other. But what you missed the most was having him look you in the eyes. His gaze was lowered and he smiled back at you but his eyes never met yours. He was hiding in plain sight and it hurt more than any lack of physical contact could.

“I’m sorry! I should have told you sooner, i-” You cut him off before he could continue and pick up your sword from the floor. You dusted your clothes off and walked towards his front door without bothering to look back.

“It’s fine Flame Hashira. Let’s never speak again.” You left him to dwell on the loss. It stung, not in the way he thought it would though. He wanted to have you close because before everything else you are his friend and a fellow slayer. The idea of losing you hurt him but he assumed that his honesty would at least grant him the ability to keep you as a comrade even after losing you as a lover. But he was wrong. As per usual, he didn’t understand what a limit was.

“I will be leaving for my next mission!” He was excited to have a reason to speak with you and especially since he would be leaving for a long mission that would require weeks of absence. Per your new routine, instead of sitting on his lap and listening to him speak, you walked in complete silence as he followed you around like a lost pup.

“I was hoping to ask you to join me and my squadron! You excel in tracking and it would be of benefit!” He always ran hot but he never sweats. He was a natural campfire that regulated itself but in your presence, after everything you’ve both had gone through and had been at some point, it made him nervous to speak with you. Your gaze never met with his and your hand was kept firmly on your sword’s handle.

“Well then, you should get going. May you all be victorious in battle.” The last conversation before a long departure was usually filled with pleas to join each other and a passionate departure kiss. Now, this act was forgotten between the two of you, and it didn’t matter how much Rengoku longed to be close he knew he was far from receiving it.

“I wish to speak with you once I return! I think they are things that I should have clarified when I ended our relationship! It has greatly affected us in different ways and it’s been painful to see the distance that has been created between us and I would like to improve our relationship as colleagues and friends!” He wished that his cheerful demeanor would help aid his need to speak with you about everything.

“Good luck in your battles, Flame Hashira.” You left the protected mansion grounds and headed towards your newest assigned mission.

“I will be investigating the mysterious disappearance on the Mugen train! If you finish early, please feel free to join us! We could use your expertise!” You continued to ignore him but his voice was loud and it was difficult to block it out.

“Good luck, Y/n! Please come back to us safely! I will await your return!” You hoped that your mission would take you longer to complete if it meant avoiding having to go help him. Your heart has yet to mend but you still meant everything you said. He still had you wrapped around his finger and you hoped that there was a chance to rekindle the relationship you once had. As you focused on observing his beating heart, it seemed that no matter how far you went his would always thrum steadily. You were no longer special to him but he would always be in your own.

#rengoku x reader #rengoku x gn! reader #rengoku x you #rengoku kyōjurō #kyojuro x reader #ask #dd answers #demon slayer #kny

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life-and-taxes · 1 year

Text

You know what really sucks? If you know that something is important and has real consequences if you don't do it or if you do it wrong, but you have no idea how to actually do the thing. It's scary and can make doing the thing very intimidating.

You know what's a really common thing everyone has to do but very few people are taught about?

Income taxes.

This infuriates me. So I sat down to write a brief and basic breakdown of how US federal income taxes work. It ended up being less brief than I originally envisioned, but the headers are in all caps so you can skip ahead to the questions you are interested in. But first here's my disclaimer. Do your own research, talk to a tax professional if you have questions, I'm not speaking on behalf of any tax return preparation company, don't sue me if you screw up your taxes, etc, etc. If you want to dig deeper into anything here, go to irs.gov and search for whatever you're looking for. The IRS website is actually pretty useful.

Alright. Let's go. Here's like, the basic, most over-simplified explanation of federal income taxes.

WHAT IS TAXES?

When a bunch of people get together and decide that they want to operate under the same set of rules, they form a government. That government takes money to run. They use it to hire people and fund programs that do things for their country and sometimes other countries. Sometimes the things the government spends money on are good things. Sometimes they are bad things. Sometimes they are good ideas executed poorly.

We're not going to get into that right now.

The point is, the government gets its money from the people it governs. I mean. Not all of it, probably. But the parts that are important for this conversation it does.

You, if you are a US citizen or someone living in the US, are required to pay a percentage of your income to the federal government. The amount is not a flat percentage. People who make more money get taxed on higher percentages of that money*. Somebody has to add up all the money you made during the year to figure out how much you should have paid in taxes. You do this sometime between January and mid-April (barring national disasters or ill-timed holidays that push back the due date) by filing a tax return. The normal due date is April 15.

*Look. Explaining exactly how tax brackets work requires pictures and/or hand gestures. You don't need to worry about it now.

HOW DOES A TAX RETURN WORK?

If you (and your spouse if you have one) work "normal" jobs, you'll get a form called a W-2 from any employers you worked for during the year. They contain info about how much money you made and how much of it was already sent to the government on your behalf. The most important boxes are box 1 (wages, tips, and other compensation) and box 2 (federal withholding). This shows 1. what you made before taxes were taken out and 2. how much of it was sent to the government for your federal tax payments. Filling out your tax return (Form 1040) will add up all your income, calculate how much you should have paid in taxes (AKA your tax liability), and compare that to what you DID pay. If you overpaid, you get a refund. If you underpaid, you have to make up the difference. If you underpaid by a LOT, there may be an underpayment penalty. (Note: the failure to file penalty, for not filing a tax return, is always more than the failure to pay penalty! If you owe the IRS it's better to go ahead and file on time. If you can't pay what you owe at once there are payment plan options. If you can't file on time you can file an extension which pushes your due date for filling back to October 15, usually. You can send a payment with your extension if required.)

If you're not using a professional, I highly reccommend using some kind of tax software to fill out your tax return. You'll get tax forms from your sources of income, and a few other select places. If it came in the mail or email and says "IMPORTANT TAX DOCUMENT ENCLOSED" you should save it and have it with you when you start preparing your tax return. Your software/tax professional should ask what you have, and then you or they will plug it into the software. You should just have to plug in basic info about yourself (legal name, date of birth, social security number, address, etc) and the data from any tax forms you received, and let the software do the work!

So that's basically it. You use the 1040 to figure out how much income you made, if you're elligible for any credits, and what you should have put into withholding. If you overpaid, you get a refund. If you underpaid, you will owe the IRS. All you really need to do is collect your tax documents and do some data entry. If you don't have any tax credits and you're not self-employed or retired and you don't have any kids or investment money, you can skip to the WHERE DO I FILE section.

WAIT WHAT ARE TAX CREDITS?

Tax credits are money that the government credits to you because you meet certain criteria. They can either be nonrefundable or refundable. Nonrefundable tax credits can reduce your tax liability (tax liability is the money you should have paid in income tax throughout the year, based on your total yearly income). Basically, if you had a tax liability of $3000 and you get a nonrefundable tax credit of $1000 it brings your tax liability down to $2000. But if you had a liability of $3000 and a nonrefundable tax credit of $4000 it can only bring your liability down to $0.

Refundable tax credits can give you money back, though. If you had a tax liability of $2000 and a refundable tax credit of $3000, that's $1000 the IRS owes YOU, baby.

COMMON TAX CREDITS

Child Tax Credit

If you supported a descendant of yours who is under age 17 and lived with you more than half the year, you get a credit for that! The "normal" use of this credit is for your kids, but grandkids, step kids, and young siblings and niblings can count too if you are the one supporting them. If you split custody of your kids with their other parent to whom you are not married, only one of you gets to claim them. If the two of you can't peacefully decide who that is going to be, and you want to claim them, you need to be able to prove that you supported the kid(s) and they lived with you. Notes from the kid's school and/or doctor are often used for this.

As of the time of this writing (2023), the Child Tax Credit is $2000/kid. If you make a ton of money this credit may be phased out. The Child Tax Credit is one of those nonrefundable credits that we talked about. It can only take your tax liability down to $0. BUT if you had some of the credit "left over" after your tax liability was wiped out, you may qualify for the Additional Child Tax Credit, which is a refundable credit, but it maxes out at $1500/kid instead.

Other Dependent Credit

This is a credit you can get if you supported a dependent who doesn't fit the criteria for the Child Tax Credit. This can be a child age 17 or older, a parent who you support, your live-in girlfriend who doesn't work (if she lived with you ALL YEAR), etc. (Please note: your spouse is NOT your dependent. Even if they don't work.) Not sure if someone qualifies as your dependent? The IRS website has a tool for that. The Other Dependent Credit is currently $500/person.

"Daycare Credit" AKA Child and Dependent Care Expenses Credit

If you send your kid or disabled dependent or spouse to daycare so you can work, go to school, or look for work, you can get a percentage of that money back as a credit. The exact percentage depends on your income.

The facility where you send your kid should provide you with an end of year statement showing the expenses you paid that year. You'll also need their EIN (Employer ID Number) and basic info like their name, address, and phone number. If you paid an individual you'll need their social security number instead.

Earned Income Credit

This is a credit for people who have worked during the year but who haven't made what the government considers to be "enough" money. You were trying. But you probably need some help. The amount you can receive depends on how much money you made and how many kids you have. Any tax software should calculate this automatically. It can be a real life-save for some families.

"Solar Panel Credit" AKA Residential Energy Credit

I'm only going to talk about the solar panel part here because it's most common. Basically, if you install solar panels, you can get a credit for up to (currently; it changes year to year) 30% of what you spent/financed. BUT a VERY IMPORTANT thing that the solar salespeople often don't tell you is that this is a NONREFUNDABLE credit. If you only have a tax liability of $2000, this credit will only give you $2000 for this year even if it's a $16,000 credit! Don't count on the whole 30% to go towards your solar loan principal if you don't usually have a big tax liability! The good news is that the unused portion of your credit will "carry forward" to next year, meaning it can help reduce your next year's liability if you don't use it all up this year. And the next, etc. Keep up with your old tax returns so you can put any carryforward credit onto the next year's return!

"Higher Education Credits" AKA American Opportunity Tax Credit and Lifetime Learning Credit

The short version is that if you spent money out of your pocket or if you took out a loan to pay for higher education for you, your spouse, or your dependent (or your kid that their other parent claims), you can get a percentage of that back as a credit. The AOTC is better but you can only take it for a total of 4 years, then you get bumped down to the Lifetime Learning Credit. You'll need to get the 1098-T from the school to see what you paid, and you may be able to also include expenses for things like textbooks.

Other Credits

There's also a credit if you're adopting a kid, but I'm not going to get into it here. Just know to look it up if you ever adopt!

There is a small credit for people who contribute to a retirement plan and have income under a certain amount. This is the Saver's Credit.

I'm not listing every credit that exists, just the ones I see the most. A lot of people don't know about the college credits, which sucks, because they can really help!

HANG ON I'M SELF-EMPLOYED WHAT DO I DO?

Congrats on being your own boss! If you are self-employed/freelance/contract labor, you get a 1099 at the end of the year instead of a W-2. Usually a 1099-NEC (NEC for non-employee compensation). This means that instead of your employer sending money to the government to pay your taxes for you, you have to do it yourself! The parts that go to Social Security and Medicare taxes are called "Self-Employment Taxes" and they get calculated at the end of the year in addition to your Income Taxes.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR ME?

When you are filing your tax return, you'll have to fill out a Schedule C for each business. Do you drive for Doordash and you also clean your aunt's house every week? Congrats. You have two businesses. One as a delivery driver and one as a housekeeper. But if you drive for Doordash and Uber Eats, you just have one job as a delivery driver.

During the year, you need to do 2 basic things:

1. Save back money to pay your taxes, and send it to the IRS quarterly. These are called Quarterly Estimated Tax Payments and you can do it by mail or online. The IRS has a tool to help you calculate how much you should be sending.

2. Keep track of your expenses and milage! If you spend money on things that you use exclusively for business, you can count those as expenses. (I'll get to expenses in a minute.) If you use something mostly for work, like a cell phone, you can count a fraction of that expense. If you drive your personal vehicle for work (not TO work; commuting doesn't count for this), keep track of the miles you drive! You get to count that as expenses, a certain number of cents/mile. It adds up. If any of this applies to you, please do more research, maybe download an app to keep track of things. This is just to let you know what you need to know so you can look up in depth what applies to you.

HOLD ON GO BACK. WHAT ARE EXPENSES?

Okay. Basically, to calculate what money is taxable if you're self-employed, you add up your income (what you got paid), and then total all your expenses (the money you spent to run your business). Income - Expenses = Profit or Loss. You only get taxed on the profit (called a "gain" on the form). A loss can offset some of your "regular" income, but please do more research if that applies to you.

If you got paid $10,000 for the year in your home bakery business but spent $8000 on things like flour, cake boxes, and renting a catering van, you only made a profit of $2000 and that's all that counts for your income and self-employment taxes. That's why it's important to keep track of your expenses and mileage! Less profit = less taxes. But you know. Don't make crap up. Assuming that you will be audited eventually will help keep you out of trouble!

OKAY, THIS IS ALL NICE, BUT I GET RETIREMENT MONEY

That's cool! If you get social security, you'll get an SSA-1099. If you get money from IRAs or other pensions, you'll get a 1099-R. Just plug 'em into your tax software and it will calculate everything automatically. If you tend to owe money at the end of the year and you don't want to, you can have more withholding taken out of either your social security or your pension by talking to whoever oversees your account.

WHAT IF I HAVE INVESTMENT MONEY?

Look. If you have investment income and you came here for tax advice, you are in the wrong place, buddy. I'm happy for you but we do not have time for that right now. If you get like $20 in interest from your checking account or whatever, fine. Just plug that 1099-INT into your software and you're good to go. If you have, like, dividends, or you trade stock or whatever? You're the kind of person who leaves your documents with your tax pro and they get back to you next week.

WAIT YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TALKED ABOUT SHORT FORM VS LONG FORM

That's because it's not a thing anymore, sweetie. There are only two forms for personal tax returns: the 1040 and the 1040-SR. The only difference is that the 1040-SR, for seniors, has a bigger font. Really. That's it.

What you are thinking of is itemizing vs taking the standard deduction.

Basically, you add up your total income for the year and then subtract either the standard deduction or your itemized deductions. Gross income minus standard or itemized deductions = taxable income. So the more you can deduct here, the less tax liability you have. For this year (tax year 2022 since I'm writing this in 2023), the standard deduction for single is $12,950, $25,900 for married filing jointly, and $19,400 for Head of Household (an unmarried adult who has at least one dependent). If you itemize deductions instead of taking the standard deduction, you can add up various deductions and subtract that from your gross income instead. Common things you can itemize include

* unreimbursed medical expenses that exceed 7.5% percent of your total income

* charitable giving

* interest on your mortgage

* state or local income or sales tax

Itemizing is only useful if the total of all the deductions you can take is higher than the standard deduction. For most people, it isn't, so I'm not going to go any deeper into this and waste everyone's time.

WHERE DO I FILE?

If all of this has made you tired, and you still just want to pay someone else to do it for you, and you can afford that, great! Professionals exist to do hard stuff for you in exchange for money. Ask about the price up front. It may vary depending on how complicated your return is. Some places will let you take your fees out of your refund, if you get one, usually for an additional fee.

I'D REALLY RATHER NOT PAY MONEY TO DO THIS ACTUALLY

Good news! If your total income was $73,000 or less (as of this writing), there are places you can do your taxes online for free! Just go to IRS.gov, click "File Your Taxes for Free," and use their tools to find a program that will work for you. You may have to pay a small fee to file a state return, if you lived or worked in a state that collects state income taxes.

GEE, THANKS FOR THE EXPLANATION. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANTED TO TELL US?

Why, yes, there is! Thanks for asking!

A TAX RETURN IS NOT A TAX REFUND.

Please stop saying "return" when you mean "refund." Yes, I know, that they are kind of synonyms in regular English but a tax return is the form you file when you file your taxes. If you get money back, that is a refund. Thank you.

JUST BECAUSE YOU WORKED HARD DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET A BIG REFUND

That's like... not how it works at all. Did I include this just because one man stormed out of my office because he was mad that he was getting only a couple hundred dollars back instead of the several thousand dollars that his underemployed girlfriend with two kids got? Maybe. Credits are for people who the government decided need help (like people with kids or low incomes) OR for things the government is bribing you to do (like install solar panels). If none of these things apply to you and you still want a big refund, you could have your employer hold more withholding out of your paychecks, but that means you'll get smaller paychecks and that the government is just using your money interest free until they give it back to you when you file your tax return. Some people like to do that, though. They treat the IRS like a savings account they're not allowed to tap into except once a year.

LET'S TALK ABOUT FILING STATUSES FOR A SECOND

There are five filing statuses:

Married Filing Jointly. This is for two people who are legally married. If you live in a state that allows for common law marriage, you can be common law married and file jointly. But if you ever decide you don't want to be married anymore you are supposed to get a divorce if you want to go back to filing single. MFJ has the highest standard deduction. One spouse will be listed as "taxpayer" and the other as "spouse." It doesn't matter which is which. Sex doesn't matter. Income doesn't matter. The IRS just wants you to do it the same every year for record-keeping purposes.

Married Filing Separately. This is for two people who are married but don't want to file jointly. It is usually the worst way to file because several credits are not available to MFS people, but sometimes your spouse won't cooperate with you or maybe they have weird financial crap going on and you don't want it tied up with your financial crap. Approach with caution. It's half the standard deduction, but if your spouse itemized, you must itemize too.

Single. This is for people who aren't married and don't have any dependents. It's half of what the MFJ standard deduction is.

Head of Household. Forget whatever you think you know about how normal people use this phrase normally. Head of Household, for tax purposes, is for an unmarried adult with one or more dependents (if you're married and your spouse has abandoned you and you have kids you can use this status though! As long as the spouse didn't live with you for the last half of the year). It's one and a half times the single standard deduction.

Qualifying Widow(er). This is an uncommon filing status. If someone was married with kids and their spouse died, they get to file as MFJ with that spouse the year that their spouse died, as long as they don't remarry that same year. For the next two years, the surviving spouse can file QW. The Qualifying Widow(er) deduction is the same as MFJ. After that, providing they still have dependents, they get bumped back down to Head of Household.

WOW, THANKS. TAXES DON'T SEEM SO SCARY ANYMORE.

I'm glad to hear it! Go forth with more knowledge.

#Taxes #Income taxes #US only #Life advise #The due date this year is April 18

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subtletruamadumping · 1 year

Text

Danse Macabre

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For a long time, I was fascinated by the idea of portraying Death as a loving, gentle figure as opposed to the normal terrifying, dark, horrific entity. Named after the piece it was inspired by.

TW: Death

Date Written: November 16, 2017

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Death looked down at the little kingdom and saw that there were souls there that belonged to her. She swooped down, throwing her dark cloak over the villages surrounding the castle and beginning her dance over the land. She went from house to house, marking the ones that would soon be her's and leaving the other members of the house with wide eyes and pale faces as they saw their loved ones drop down with fever and fatigue. There was no time to stop her, she danced too fast around the land. When the villages had been infected as needed, she turned her eyes now to the brilliant castle that lay in the middle. Though they had built up tall towers to keep her out, it didn't work. She rode in with one of the servants and danced around the castle, searching for the last victim on her list.

The rumors spread over the land nearly as quickly as the disease did. The king's only son, his heir, was ill. Stories of the horribly pale face, the breath-stealing fever, and, of course, the blood spurting from his lips were whispered from one ear to another, passing the news and the cough along. Knights galloped out into the villages, bursting into quarantined homes under strict order to find anyone, a single victim, that might be healing. Each knight was turned away, head hanging and color fading, as they only saw more and more bodies piling up as Death came to collect. The only news they received was that there was no cure and the only news they gave was of the prince's worsening condition.

His fevered delusions caused him to rise in the middle of the night, much to the distress of the Leeches around him, and waltzed slowly around the room, holding an invisible partner. When this somber dance had gone on for many nights, his mother was finally called in, for he wouldn't acknowledge any other. The hopes that her soothing voice would catch is ear were congratulated when he looked towards her when she spoke his name. Her trembling lips asked what he was doing out of bed when he should be laying down, resting? A steady, monotone reply made her eyes roll back and she collapsed backwards into the arms of a handmaid. He could not rest, he told her. He had to finish his dance. His dance with Death.

The kingdom sighed and wailed for the boy. What could be done for him? He must finish his dance with Death, despite the king's attempts to beat her back. He drew out the waltz, slowing the tempo with the finest medicines and physicians. The dance was drawn out, making the boy suffer longer than was originally assumed he would last. Despite this, Death would still come to collect, it seemed. The boy waltzed in his sleep while every herb, drug, and concoction was administered to him. No matter what touched his quivering lips, the kingdom dusted off their black attire, preparing for a great mourning.

With a jolt, a new story spread. There was a way. The king had found a way to cure his son. A rousing cheer filled the knights, who passed it on to the villagers. The cheer was soon tainted with fear, however, when the knights let it slip how the king had come across the elusive cure. Dark magic. The joyful cry died on their lips and was replaced with a shudder. The knights were left alone as the supportive crowd vanished, shaking their heads and murmuring to themselves. The king, however, had no time for the crowd. He would rid his son of this sickness once and for all, blatantly ignoring the warnings that Death could not be cheated forever. The hooded figure that rode up to the castle gate a few days later did not go unnoticed and a path was cleared quickly and silently for it. Dark, cloudy skies followed it and the villagers locked themselves in their homes for a week, waiting for the storm to pass. When it had, the hooded figure was reported leaving, wandering off sluggishly into the woods.

The kingdom held it's breath, now, going about it's business, but always keeping an ear pointed towards the castle, hoping news would fall upon them. There was a sick silence and a dark aftertaste about the high windows, but the knights gave no news, yet. Nothing was known about the boy's health. Even after the disease had been eradicated from the villages and the tolling ceased to echo from the belfries, Death having collected all she needed from them. All eyes turned to the castle, now, while Death waited patiently for her last strike.

Eventually, the sun came out shining over the land and so did the knights, with smiles to match. The rode with pomp and gusto into the villages. The outcome was finally clear: the boy would live. The blood had been wiped from his lips for the last time, he spoke in clear and complete sentences, and his rosy cheeks and monstrous appetite had returned. Then, why had the news taken so long to come out? In hushed voices, it was explained that he still slept fitfully, occasionally rising to waltz around the room to a slow, somber, silent tempo. He had finally shaken the habit, though? That is how they were certain of his rejuvenation? The knights were ominously quiet on this subject.

The prince made an appearance, however, waving down to the crowd from the balcony. His eyes had cleared themselves of the fog and his limbs trembled no more. On this day, the king announced a great feast and a ball in celebrations of the return of his son's health. Always ready for a share in the king's stores, the crowd applauded and cheered, throwing roses up onto the balcony. They then dispersed quickly as they made their way home to prepare. The banquet would need things, after all, and the king would be willing to pay for all kinds of services in his jollity. What did it matter if the boy still had nightly memories of his illness? The king wouldn't throw such a festivity if he thought he could still lose his son.

The villages quivered with excitement that was nearly bursting as the appointed day came closer and closer. The king began leaking gold among them as the preparations were put in order. Each of the commoners might not have gotten a way into the ball, they might not get to see the magnificence for themselves, but everyone knew someone who would. The stories from these lucky few were in as much (if not more) demand from their neighbors as their product had been from the king. They were just as much (if not more) willing to dish these out when they returned home with pale faces and wide eyes.

The feast began like any other: the king, the queen, and the little prince seated upon the dais, smiling down at the guests who had come to show their thanksgiving for the miraculous recovery. They were not yet through the first course, however, when the boy looked down at the long table with a frown, eyes staring hard at something. Following his gaze, his mother was quick to ask what was the matter. He pointed out the little girl he had been looking at, skin so light it faded into the ivory platter in front of her. She held herself in such an airy manner that it seemed that her fingertips never touched the fork as she lifted it smoothly to her mouth.

The mother gently informed him that she was a daughter of a foreign friend; she had heard so from the girl's own mouth. Curiously, the boy said this could not be right, for he recognized her. He said he knew her from somewhere, despite being told repeatedly that she had never been in the castle, before. His eyes stayed focused on her as they ate, though she didn't spare him a passing glance. It was claimed that he was mesmerized with her, having to be reminded by his parents to mind to his other guests. He murmured over and over that he knew her and if he could only remember where from...

The food was eventually put away and the party now moved to the ball room. Lively music made the guests laugh, sing, dance, and cheer, which was helped along by the continued presence of wine goblets. Still, the prince watched the little girl and wondered out loud when they had met before. To his shock, her head slowly turned and her eyes finally met his. He stared at her. She stared at him. After a few moments pause, she left the group of ladies she had been standing with and floated over, noiselessly moving across the stone floor.

It was said that the piece was a waltz when she asked him to dance. They told how his face turned ash-like when she touched his arm as he led her out onto the floor, how his eyes glazed over the instant he took her waist, and that he followed her lead as they began to dance slowly around the room. His mother cried out in horror to see him so; the same as he had looked on his deathbed. His father came forward, face flushed to match the spilled wine, and demanded that they stop, that the girl must release him, but the boy interrupted the order.

"No." His soft, steady voice was barely heard over the music "I must finish the dance. I was supposed to finish it some time ago. She's been waiting for me." The girl gave a soft smile as they continued slowly on, the king shocked into silence. She muttered words, her lips moving without sound. The prince nodded.

The queen screamed again and fell faint as the boy collapsed onto the stone floor, limp. The king and the knights that had started forward to help him sprang back with horror as more screams filled the hall. The boy was laying on the floor, but he was also still dancing, twirling slowly around with the little girl. Their feet hovered above the ground and they danced along silently, ignoring that the music had come to an abrupt stop. The horror-stricken guests watched with dry mouths as the little girl lead him around the room, then through the great oak door.

A pause as the crowd gasped for breath to try and calm the wildly beating hearts, then a mad rush to the windows, watching for the children making their journey away from the castle. The two translucent figures could barely be seen in the shimmering moonlight; the girl leading him by the hand, her breathy, quiet laughter filling their ears as she pulled him into the woods. The pale figures faded into the trees, leaving behind the last echoes of the soft laugh. As the shaky, breathless crowd turned away from the window, the little boy was still there, curled on his side, finally able to sleep peacefully on the hard, cold, stone floor.

#writing #my writing #writers on tumblr #short story #classical music #old work

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