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after-witch · 3 years

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A Simple Cup of Tea [Yandere Scaramouche x Reader]

Title: A Simple Cup of Tea [Yandere Scaramouche x Reader]

Synopsis: You have to be prepared and poised and perfect. But it’s hard to be all those things, even with the looming threat of your husband sitting next to you, when you’ve got a secret hidden underneath your clothes...

Word Count: 1875

Notes: yandere, forced marriage, abuse, bondage, NSFW

Poised.

You must be poised. Every movement, every gesture, must embody a quiet grace. Your face must be pleasant, without seeming garishly joyous. Your voice must be soft, melodic, clear; yet loud enough to be heard without being required to repeat yourself.

You must know how to keep a conversation going smoothly, like water in a stream, yet understand when to keep silent. You must know all of these things and so much more, and act on them at all times in the proper degree; all in order to avoid embarrass yourself and more importantly, embarrassing your husband.

In other words, you must be perfect.

And you try--you have to try, because what other choice does Scaramouche leave you?--but it’s difficult. You were never born for this stifled life he’s pushed you into, for a life spent mostly within the walls of his home or at most, behind the high, impenetrable walls of the courtyard.

A life draped in rich clothing, overseeing fine details of the estate that make your head spin. How many bags of this or that must be ordered per week? When should the bedding in that room be washed? What is the appropriate amount of money to put in a servant’s purse when sending them to the market? Questions you never imagined yourself asking yourself, which now fill your day with a gilded tedium.

There’s a deceptive leisure lurking underneath everything here. True, you no longer have to travel far and wide, selling your family’s wares from heavy baskets carried on your back; you no longer have to search the edges of the forest for edible plants to toss into boiling broth on days when you could not afford meat. You never want for food (unless he takes your dinner away as punishment) and any comfort you could need is within reach, so long as you’re behaving.

But you are on edge, always. Preparing yourself for another pitfall that might open up beneath your feet, and always looking for ways to improve yourself. Or at least ways to avoid earning your husband’s sharp disapproval. Regardless of your efforts, you have been on the wrong end of a harsh insult, a slap, a pinch, a cane, more times than you care to count.

Be prepared, be poised, be perfect. It’s the mantra you repeat to yourself every morning.

The mantra you repeated to yourself this particular morning, in preparation for a meeting he insisted you attend. A meeting which apparently required your finely-tuned skills in pleasing conversation and your much-practiced ability to “pour a passable cup of tea.”

Anyone else might assume it was meant to be an insult, but your time with Scaramouche has led to you to understand that the slightest praise towards you, while minuscule to others, was something you were meant to fall on your knees and thank him for. Sometimes literally, depending on his mood.

Why he wanted you to pour tea for some delegates from Fontaine, and what their increasing presence in the area really meant, you didn’t know. But it wasn’t your place to ask him, and the memory of recent stinging pain on your backside keeps you from feeling even remotely tempted to broach the subject.

So here you are. Dressed elegantly, but not garishly, as is proper for his wife. With a tea pot in your hand and perfectly arranged cups and the ghost of a pleasing smile on your face. Charming words drip from your lips, pleasantries, pleasantries, pleasantries--the type of words Scaramouche loathes yet drums into you all the same.

Prepared, poised, perfect.

Except for the slight tremble of your hands.

Except for the uncomfortable hitch in your breath as you speak.

Except for the fact that there are ropes tied snugly around your breasts, wrapping around your chest and criss-crossing between your breasts with an uncomfortable pressure, all hidden underneath the outfit he’d chosen for you that afternoon.

You’d balked, first--then begged. Begged not to be humiliated like this. What if someone sees? What will people say? You’d even tried to appeal to his pride, suggesting that if you couldn’t fully concentrate on your duties, well, how would that reflect on him?

All that earned you was a glint of a smirk and a tug as he knotted the rope encircling your breasts, making it even tighter than before. His final threat at your continued pleading--”I can always make you go out in nothing but the ropes”--finally shut you up.

And so, here you are. Face hot with shame and something more, silently pleading that your clothing won’t somehow shift and reveal the secret underneath. Despite the layers covering you, you still feel naked, exposed. As if the people indulging in polite conversation can see right through you, see the way your breasts are framed by the itchy ropes. See the way your body is responding to such a total humiliation.

It’s not just the chafing rope that bothers you. It’s the pressure itself. It feels… no, you don’t want to think about how it feels.

Instead, you hone your focus in on the task at hand. Pouring the tea, a nice subtle blend made with Violetgrass flowers. A previous round of guests from Fontaine had enjoyed it so well that Scaramouche had you tell the teashop to start stocking up for future visits.

You wish you could hide the way your hand trembles ever so slightly as you pour the last cup of tea for a woman whose name you regrettably can’t remember. You normally repeat their names over and over in your head, lest you forget and endure Scaramouche’s sharp tongue (if not his cane) later on; but your predicament made it impossible to keep track of new information.

You might be able to enjoy the tea, enjoy the facsimile of polite conversation weaving its way around the table, if only you weren’t so distracted by the tightness, the chafing, the undeniable fact that--oh Archons above, that all of this was making your nipples humiliatingly hard underneath your clothing.

“Do you agree, wife?”

All eyes glance at you. Whatever Scaramouche just said had clearly be addressed to you, only you were too distracted to notice.

In the moments that you’re left half-gaping, mentally groping to somehow pull his previous words out from the ether, his hand snakes around your waist. You feel his fingers on the outside of the soft fabric, searching until they find their intended target--the knot--and tugging hard to tighten it further.

You gasp, your body lurching upward and forward at the sudden sensation of your breasts being squeezed, and the tea pot you’re still holding drops to the table. Time seems to slow to a thick crawl, and you can see the pot is not cracked, but tipped over, hot tea spilling onto the table underneath with abandon.

The sight of the dark brown stain spreading, trickling underneath saucers and cups, leaves you helpless until you force your shaking hands to grab the pot and set it back up on the table.

“I, I--” you start to stutter something. An apology? An explanation? But the constricting ropes and the dawning realization that you have just committed an extensive social faux pas--in front of guests, no less--leaves you helplessly unable to speak.

The guests, for their part, look suitably uncomfortable. The woman whose name you can’t remember is holding onto her cup, saving it from being intercepted by the trickling tea. You don’t know whether their looks are because of your embarrassing display or because they know your husband’s reputation, and feel pity for you. Perhaps a bit of both.

Scaramouche’s voice cuts through the tension, though it does nothing to lessen it.

“I apologize for my wife’s clumsiness,” he says. “I should have realized that she wasn’t up to the apparently complex task of serving tea.” His voice is dripping with condescension, making more heat rise to your cheeks.

Humiliation does not begin to describe what you feel as he gently--public appearances, you think--takes your arm and stands, bringing you with him.

“Perhaps you are ill.” He looks you up and down, faux-concern written all over his face. But you know what he’s really thinking about, as his eyes linger on your chest for a fraction longer than they should.

You swallow hard, and do your best to nod. It doesn’t take any effort to look ashamed at what’s transpired.

“I--I have been feeling unwell,” you say, making sure to project loud enough for the audience he’s curated for you. “I may be too tired.”

He shakes his head, as if he can’t believe your silliness. A silly, silly wife--that’s what you are. Never mind that it’s all his fault. Never mind that he chose to do this to you, and chose to do it in front of guests.

A small, bitter part of you resents the guests for being there at all, resents the fact that they probably know you’re an unwilling ornament to the Harbringer’s obsession but do nothing about it.

But what good does resenting them do, when it won’t change your fate?

He takes your hand and gives it a pat, each touch patronizing to the core.

“Apologize to our guests and go rest. And send someone more capable to clean up your mess.”

You have to apologize for the fact that you spilled tea due to his decision to engage in some perverse bondage in a public fashion. You have to apologize for the fact that he deliberately made you do it, too, knowing how you might react when he pulled the rope.

It’s horrible and humiliating and unfair.

But you do it anyway.

Turning towards the guests, gaze downcast with shame, you force out an apology; keeping your voice soft and melodic and clear, as expected.

Then you retreat as calmly as possible, feeling everyone’s gaze--but especially his--on your back as you leave. You catch the eye of the nearest servant as you make your way back to the bedroom, laying out the quickest version of events and not relishing the look of anxiety that crosses their features at the thought of dealing with Scaramouche after such an apparent social travesty.

But you only have enough energy to consider your own anxieties, so you continue on without thinking more about them.

Walking only seems to make the feeling of constriction worse, and you bite down on your lip as your sensitive nipples begin rubbing against the fabric with every step. It feels good, it feels bad--whatever it is, it’s all too much, and you want nothing more to cut off the ropes and hide until the morning.

Not that you have the courage to risk such an endeavor.

You don’t feel any calmer by the time you reach your shared bedroom, but at least your humiliation is a private one, now. And you can rest, at least until he’s finished for the evening. For a moment, you simply stand still, bringing your arm across your chest and pressing to provide some pressure, some relief, to your sensitive breasts.

There’s an undeniable twist in your stomach when your arms brush against your nipples, and you hate it, and you love it, and you feel just as sick and perverse as he is when you slide a hand inside your clothing and give one aching nipple a pinch. You rub your legs together and ah, there it is--the pleasurable tingling and beginnings of wetness, and well, why not give yourself some pleasure, you think; why not give yourself something good and pleasant before he comes in and ruins everything with whatever sick punishment he’s concocting?

It’s not until you make to curl up on the large bed, eager to relive the tension building inside you, that you see the scroll wrapped up on the pillow. With a sense of justifiable dread building in your stomach, you sit, and unfurl it.

The words are written in Scaramouche’s familiar handwriting:

“Take off your clothes. Lay down and spread your legs on the bed until I return. Don’t touch yourself. I will know if you haven’t followed my instructions.”

Bastard, you think. As if your humiliation today wasn’t strong enough. Your hands go to undue the fastenings keeping your clothes together, and the first hints of bare skin leave you with anticipatory goosebumps. How long would you be expected to be on the bed, presenting yourself for his apparent pleasure?

Bastard, bastard, bastard.

But--well. At least he didn’t tell you to bend over the caning stool again.

#yandere scaramouche #yandere genshin impact #scaramouche x reader #yandere #afterwitch writes

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phati-sari · 3 years

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Arshi FF: Tere Bin - Chapter 8

Read from the beginning | Chapter 7

Chapter 8: Ranjha (listen while reading)

Khushi

“What was he doing here?”

Khushi answered without turning, her head resting on the window sill as she studied the moon. “I don’t know.”

It’d taken a long time to escape to the room she shared with her sister after they’d first stepped through the doors. First, Amma had asked about the hospital visit, making Khushi recite everything the Doctor Sahib had said while Bua-ji interrupted often to ask questions. Babu-ji had soon taken over, asking to see the paperwork Khushi had collected and asking a few questions of his own. Still full from the gol gappe, Khushi had nibbled on some puri under Jiji’s watchful gaze while the family considered the payment plan the clinic had laid out.

Luckily, no one had asked exactly how she’d gotten home.

“You were in his car, Khushi.” Jiji came to stand next to her, her tone coloured with disapproval.

“The auto broke down. He was driving past.”

“He, of all the people in Lucknow and Delhi, just happened to be driving by? At the exact moment your auto broke down?”

An odd defensiveness flared in her chest, words popping out of her mouth before she’d thought them through.

“What can I say, Jiji? My phone’s battery was dead, it was dark. He offered to drop me home.”

Jiji reached out to touch her shoulder. “Did he fight with you again?”

No, he bought me gol gappe.

“No more than usual,” Khushi tried to smile at her sister. “I’m fine. Really. He drove me home. That’s all.”

Though she looked unconvinced, Jiji stepped away with a nod to ready herself for bed. Khushi waited until she was alone to snatch her bag from where it hung on a hook. Her searching fingers found the business card he’d offered.

“Well, it’s just that you like arguing so much, and we argue so often … I think we should keep in touch.”

At the time, she’d been so startled that she’d simply taken the card and slid from the car without answering. Jiji, fortunately, had been too busy scowling at him through the windows to notice as she’d slipped it into her bag.

The card was thick, the surface almost velvety to the touch. It sported a bright red logo in the top corner and announced his name in crisp black letters — ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA. Khushi shook her head to clear the unbidden memory of correcting his name on hundreds of letters.

The writing on the card included a number she recognised for the reception desk at the head offices and an email address that his managers monitored. But he’d scrawled another number untidily along one side with a black pen.

His personal number, Khushi realised with a jolt.

It felt strangely intimate, though logic reminded her that she’d had the same number saved in her phone before he’d broken it on the storeroom floor.

Why is he still in Lucknow?

On the heels of this thought came another: Why should I care?!

Her mind was suddenly awhirl with memories — raised voices and shouted words, a fall from his window, the broken door to the storeroom. His airs about money and power. The terror of the guesthouse.

Khushi ripped the business card in half, her breath coming in rapid pants, and then tore it into even smaller pieces. Tears stung in her eyes. She scrunched the pieces into her palm as Jiji returned to the room.

“Make sure you wake up early tomorrow,” her sister draped her towel near the window. “We’re going to the temple.”

“Okay.”

Waiting until Jiji was occupied with something in the cupboard, Khushi returned the ruined card to her bag. In the bathroom, she brushed her teeth and washed her face before studying her reflection. Her pulse was a chaotic drumbeat in her body, her thoughts a wild tangle. And underneath it all was something that thrilled and scared her at the same time, something that had followed her to Lucknow.

#####

“Everything leads back to him,” Jiji had groaned, rolling on her side on the bed they shared. “Just go to sleep quietly.”

It had been a week since they’d returned to Lucknow, and Khushi had been comparing the price of potatoes between Lucknow and Delhi. Or at least, that was how the conversation had started. She couldn’t remember how they’d gotten to talking about that Laad Governor.

“You’re right Jiji. We’re in Lucknow now and we’ll soon forget that we ever went to Delhi. Or that we met such cruel, haughty people. Although … Anjali-ji had such sweetness in her. It’s a shame that we had to leave without saying goodbye to her. At least we met one nice person in Delhi. Oh … and Nani-ji. Maybe two nice people. And Aakash-ji, I suppose, though —”

“— Khushi! Are you going to count out every member of his family? Your mind is like a compass that’s always stuck on him!”

“And why wouldn’t it be?” Khushi had asked hotly. “He sent me there to do some meaningless task, knowing the place was about to collapse.”

“I know. You’ll never have to see him again, Khushi. You resigned from that awful job, you gave him an earful, and now you’re here and he’s there.”

The words should have elated her, but they only left her feeling strangely hollow.

#####

That hollowness sat heavily inside her as Khushi joined her sister in their bed a few minutes later, sliding between the covers with a sigh.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jiji’s voice was soft in the dimness.

“Yes.”

“You barely ate dinner.”

“I’m not hungry.”

A short silence, in which Khushi’s mind unhelpfully replayed the way she’d fallen into his arms yet again.

Oh Devi Maiyya, couldn’t you find another place to make me slip? You mustn’t have liked the offering I left you this morning.

“I’m glad we came back to Babu-ji,” Jiji said softly. “I can’t imagine being away from home at a time like this.”

“The doctors said that as long as he rests properly and takes his medicines, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“He isn’t resting nearly enough, even with both of us at the shop.”

Khushi nodded her agreement, “He’s worried about the bills.”

“Bua-ji and Amma are talking about selling some jewellery. I thought I’d give them my bangles.”

“I have bangles we can sell too.”

It took a while for Jiji’s breathing to fall into the deep, slow rhythm of sleep. Khushi lay awake, her thoughts chasing each other in ever-tightening spirals.

The night of the photoshoot. The softness of her pallu as it slipped. The scorch of his gaze as it roved over her body and left her feeling singed. The electricity between them on Teej, every touch a bolt of lightning. The weight of him pressing into her in the storeroom.

She flushed, skin prickling and warmth blooming in secret places.

Stop it, Khushi. A handful of gol gappe is all it takes for you to forget his cruelty?

She turned onto her side with a huff. Sometimes it felt as though her life had been split into Before and After, as though falling at the fashion show had created an entirely new Khushi Kumari Gupta. A Khushi who was strangely compelled towards him, a Khushi who’d come dangerously close to swooning in his arms today. A Khushi who wanted something she had no name for.

“I didn’t know the situation at the guesthouse was that bad!”

“Do you really think I would’ve sent you there if I’d known? Is that what you think of me?”

For the first time, she allowed herself to entertain the idea that he hadn’t sent her there on purpose.

So what if he hadn’t? I was still trapped there for an entire day. He was wrong.

But the thought was impossible to dislodge now that it’d wormed into her mind. Having assumed he’d wanted to argue every time he’d approached her, she now considered whether he might have been trying to explain. She saw their interactions in a new light. The sweets, the cheque.

Did he feel guilty? Was he trying to say sorry?

She eventually fell into an uneasy sleep, tormented in her dreams by his eyes, his voice, the memory of his touch. She woke just before dawn, breathless and damp with sweat, the sheets tangled with her legs. Flinging them off, Khushi sat up in bed. Her sister made a questioning noise.

“Sleep, Jiji. It’s not time to wake up yet.”

A nameless storm raged in her chest, making it hard to breathe. She squeezed her eyes shut.

I should hate him.

A lurch in her tummy.

But I don’t.

Padding slowly over to her bag, she fished out the pieces of the business card one by one. There was a roll of tape amongst the paper and pens scattered on the table in the corner. Khushi glanced back at her sister as she sat. It took a few minutes to line up the jagged edges, to press the tape along them with trembling fingers until she could read his name again.

He’d set down a challenge. She wouldn’t back down.

********

Thanks for reading :) I know some of you may be disappointed with the level of introspection in this chapter and where I chose to end it. Tere Bin is Arnav’s story, one where he has to work out what he wants and how to get it while Khushi is in Lucknow. While I intend to dip into Khushi’s point of view where the story demands it (and I feel that her presence greatly improved Chapters 6 and 7), it will focus heavily on Arnav. I am not intentionally writing something to annoy or disappoint readers. I’m trying to do something very specific with this story, and like all experiments, I’m learning as I go :)

#ipkknd #iss pyaar ko kya naam doon #ff: tere bin #iwrotethis #arshi ff #arshi #ipkknd ff #mine

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lunarsilver · 2 years

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Lunar Eclipse 19th November Divination

A general reading for a lunar eclipse in Taurus. Pick a picture and see what you can expect from this full moon, how you can grow as a person and what changes are coming. Take what resonates.

Used: tarot deck, standard 52-card deck and oracle deck

Pictures: Canva

1 ~ 2 ~ 3

Pile 1

You seem to know how important it is to be your true self and act in harmony with yourself. You are on your way to getting rid of harmful habits and addictions, but don't get angry with yourself when you have doubts from time to time. Help is close, don't close yourself to it. Sometimes, to get going, you have to make a difficult choice and leave something behind. I can see that you have the strength to do this, and your decision can help not only you. You are a man of action, and action brings you a lot of joy. Remember not to forget to listen to your intuition. You know the answers, spend some time alone with your own thoughts.

A nice, caring, fair-haired woman will appear or will play a greater role in your life than before. I sense that it is she who can help you. May like old movies or be interested in fashion. Financial prosperity awaits you, possibly a raise. The road to success will not be easy, though, someone may have your wings cut and rumors spread, possibly some other fair-haired woman. Someone around you - probably her - is jealous, and it doesn't work for you. You can be at a disadvantage right now, take care of your physical and mental health. You may have problems with a fair-haired or graying man who is an authority. Probably older than you, maybe your boss.

In the near future focus on self-reflection. A fresh start awaits you, so think about how it should look like.

Pile 2

You are practical and can do well with all things worldly and home, and you know it. You are nurturing and resemble a caring mother. Not only that, but you give hope and support people. Even when you are in trouble, you reborn like a phoenix from the ashes. However, I feel that you are trying so hard to please others that you are forgetting yourself. There is a thing that is blocking you from creating something original or connecting with your emotions. Take time for yourself, and it will be beneficial not only for you, but also for others. It will be a kind of new beginning that will bring you a lot of fun. You will have a wealth of opportunities and the chance to succeed financially. It's very specific, but I see a mother who finally decides to write this book, which she thinks so much about, and it turns out to be a bestseller.

Pay attention to the dark-haired, kind, probably older man - I can see changes in relation to him. I wrote that you will be financially successful - now I see it even more clearly, but you will not avoid challenges, perhaps a quarrel over your job or choice. A fair-haired woman of good nature will give you helpful advice. It is probably a friend, colleague from work / school, or a mother figure. There are good people with you, but do not forget to make small improvements to your life, like a little more time for yourself, even if not everyone understands it. It is possible that the person who will be jealous of your attention will be a youth. Probably dark haired. He can be unpleasant. Your efforts to improve your financial situation will not go unnoticed by someone above you in the hierarchy, possibly from your work environment. He is a fair-haired man and may have a receding hairline and start going gray.

In the near future, focus on ending or modifying what is not serving you and expanding your knowledge on the topic you are interested in.

Pile 3

You work hard, educate and develop yourself to achieve as much as possible. Ambition and independence of yours are admirable, but remember not to close yourself off to people - even if you are doing great on your own. You are the kind of person who will do a lot of good to every group of people they end up in - friends or family. They will support you and celebrate with you. You're a person who enjoys every success that they have earned. You're wise and not falsely modest. You cannot rest on your laurels, so you will soon start a new, creative project and approach it with excitement. What will you discover?

No wonder that with your successes and fortitude, someone will feel jealous, especially as a new business opportunity will arise in front of you and bring unexpected money. It can be travel related. You will run into some difficulties, but all will end well. Your relationship, possibly a romantic one, may have an argument or problem, even though everything has been going well so far. If you want to go back to your ex-partner or your ex wants to go back to you, don't be too quick to make a decision. Be careful what you wish for, it can come true. Everything looks very good, but don't lose your vigilance. You may be doing so well that your own boss starts to envy you a little. You can count on the support of a fair-haired woman, probably a colleague from work.

Focus on your new project, planning, new beginnings, changes.

#tarotdaily #free tarot #tarot cards #cartomancy #tarot reading #divination #lunar eclipse #lunaresphased #lunar event #full moon #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pick a card #free tarot reading #moon #divination witch #tarot witch #tarot #witchcraft

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its-me-im-coraline · 3 years

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Peculiar and Beautiful // Victoria De Angelis

words // 1333

warnings // angsty but also fluffy

pairing // Victoria De Angelis x GN!Reader

author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know besties, don't forget the 'sleepover' on sunday (yes i'll be saying it on every fucking post lol) and yeah, that. also, a little complaining moment from me, im currently in sooooo much pain, my tooth hurts, i got neuralgia on a tooth and ljajakjfa so if this seems high to you it means im on meds for that lol unlucky few days anywaaaays enjoy to revive yourselves from the teasers of iwbys video

request // yes, here

summary // Reader finds themself in a emotional rut. A few comments online, the constant youtube recommendations on how to be “perfect” have been making them feel some type of way, hiding away from the one person that can help them; Victoria

It was a consistent thing and that was the issue. The comments about what Victoria did and did not deserve, who she should be with, the constant shipping with Damiano… And then there were the absolutely random videos on youtube, indirectly telling them what and who they should become, at least according to all those people online. It took less than expected to cave into the vicious lies surrounding their daily life. Although they tried to take control over the situation the absence of Victoria did nothing to improve the rut they were in at the moment.

Her presence tends to be a reassuring thing to her lover. Words need not be spoken, all problems can be hidden, but the moment they look each other in the eye everything is resolved. Understandably, Victoria missing from the equation in the moment made matters far worse than Y/N could imagine.

The self depreciation came in waves. At first it was that they looked “off” next to Victoria, as if for some reason they didn’t please the eye aesthetically when together. It was a comment that was shared around a lot. They did not believe it at first until their brain led them into looking through all the couple’s photos… Maybe they are right, they would mumble before closing the phone and continuing their work.

After that stage came the personal attack. Why don’t I look good next to her? Must be my looks. Agh, if I didn’t look like that… Whenever they passed through a mirror or reflective surface they’d stare at themselves to see how they looked, whether they looked bad or decent. Never gave enough credit to themselves, sometimes not even believing Victoria when mentioning the beauty she was lucky enough to hold in her arms. Always something about being independent and not needing anyone to make them feel valuable due to their looks. Simple and plain stubbornness.

Victoria took not too long to notice how something was off with her lover. At first, she gave not too much attention to it, knowing how both missed each other and knowing how tired they were from work. But, as days passed by she could simply not ignore the situation anymore. She first saw something was off when talking to Y/N on the phone, seeing how they did not exactly respond to her jokes and comments as they usually would. Again, she wrote it off as tiredness, missing her, just as she missed them but it was far more than that. After a while they started cancelling some of their facetime call time, saying different things about having bad days at work and, although, she believed them does not mean she was not worried out of her mind. The more that kept happening the more Victoria kept stressing. Not few were the times she’d end up falling onto Damiano’s bed and almost crying with worry.

“Why don’t you tell them to take some time off? Reckon they said their boss owes them some time off work.” And he was right. The answer to the pair’s misery was there all along and she simply had not seen it.

Victoria wasted no time, rushing to get to her phone and arrange everything. Surprisingly enough, dealing with Y/N’s boss turned out to be the easier part of the whole ordeal. The real struggle coming to persuading them about it.

“Oh come one, cucciolo, I know you want to see me-”

“I do want to Victoria, but I can not. I have work.” Lies, lies, lies. They knew they were lying, work wasn’t their trouble in the moment.

“Dealt with! You have a few days of work. Your boss was surprisingly real nice about it.” They could practically hear the smile the beautiful woman wore on her face but they could not keep their response at bay.

“What?! What did you do?!”

“You sound unhappy…”

“I am not, but Victoria why did you do this before talking to me?”

“Because…” she sighed.

“You are tired, I miss you and you are stubborn. Plus, I wanted to surprise you. I thought it’s be a good surprise... Am I wrong?”

“No, no! It’s great. When is the ticket for?” Everyone knows Y/N can never say no to Victoria, even the girl knows of her partner’s weakness, targeting it with her adorableness at times in order to get them to do something like buy her fries or in this case take a break. But Y/N was not worried about Victoria’s influence on them, or rather not that influence. They were out of this world worried about how little time it was going to take Vic to see their insecurities, maybe she’d even agree with them, they thought.

The first night of being by Vic was pretty normal, just as it was back at home, full of cuddles and kisses and all the children shows and movies playing in the background while the bassist recited all her adventures to her lover.

“And Thomas just felt face first onto the pavement! Can you believe it?!” Y/N laughed lightly, eyes fluttering in an attempt to focus on the woman in front of them and head lazily hang on the pillow by the headboard.

“Are you feeling alright, amore?” She asked, voice soft as she caressed the other person’s cheek.

“Yes, love, just a bit tired.”

“It’s alright, let’s sleep. You had a tiring flight, I get it.” Y/N simply mumbled a thank you, kissing the blonde’s forehead before pulling her close in order to sleep.

Unfortunately, the momentary bliss did not last long. After being seen together people started talking and Y/N returned to the previous thought pattern, this time getting deeper into their insecurities. They felt like they were not enough for Victoria so, while trying to not be suspicious they started distancing themselves from her. They would avoid kisses, get away way to soon for both their liking, sleep early, sleep-in… No matter what they stayed away from too much interaction with Victoria, and she was getting sick of it.

Finding them walking down the hallway from the stairs to their hotel room, Victoria rushed to her partner, making sure to get in the room with them quickly, before they had the chance to hide away - again.

“You are ignoring me,” she simply stated, voice stern but never elevated.

“O-of course not, what are you on about?!” Voice was trembling and eyes were looking everywhere but the exasperated blonde.

“Yes -agh- yes you are! You were all over me when you came here, which I’m not complaining about, and then the next day you all but slept in the tab to avoid me! What is going on, Y/N?” The use of their name might have stung just a little bit, enough to make them talk. They always got worried when Victoria went all first name basis rather than cute pet names.

“I-” they hesitated for a second but the strict look on the woman’s face made them continue.

“People talk, Victoria.”

“About what? What does-”

“About us and you and me… It’s always how I am not a good fit and other things like that and maybe they are right.”

“You don’t seriously believe that, do you?”

“Of course I believe that! Look at you, Vic, you are perfect and me? Well, I am me.”

“And that’s exactly why we are together. Because you are you! Y/N, you being who you are is why I fell for you. Your little quirks, those strong characteristics you get insecure about are literally what make you who you are, that individualize you.”

“Really?” They asked with hesitation, fearing the chance of her lying.

“Of course, cucciolo. I love those things that make you different. Reminds me that there is no other one like you and it simply makes me longing for you more,” she praised while leaving kisses all over their neck.

“I simply love you.”

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina

#måneskin #måneskin fanfic #måneskin imagine #maneskin imagine #maneskin fanfiction #victoria de angelis imagine #victoria de angelis

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hargrove-mayfields · 3 years

Text

Just A Dream Away

Chapter 1/13 read here on ao3!

my piece for @harringrovebigbang!

Art and moodboard from my amazing team, @monochromegee and @shewritesdirty respectively, to come soon!

~~~~

Six months. Six months and twelve days.

That’s how long Billy has been in the hospital. In a coma. His health rapidly deteriorating.

After one month it was required he be put on a ventilator. Two and his wounds started getting infected. By month three, the hospital asked that a representative be chosen for him, just in case he didn’t pull through.

Neil Hargrove refused. Barked into the receiver something along the lines of, “What do I care if the boy wanted to go and get himself killed?” It was entirely defensive, his voice cracking as he finished his sentence, but the hospital still never contacted him again, not for updates or bills or anything. His wife was far too busy taking care of one grieving child and a lazy husband already to worry about an additional burden.

All of Billy’s extended family was still in California, had written him off years before they’d even left home for Indiana anyways. The moment his mother walked out the door, nobody else wanted him either, so they were off the table too.

The town of Hawkins had been turned inside out by the deaths of more than thirty community members, some of which were still being reported as missing so many months later. Nobody had the time, or in many cases the heart, to take care of the lone survivor.

That left only one person. The one who’d been taking care of him even before he’d fallen into a coma. The one who’d understood him better than anyone else, who’d given him a chance, who’d loved him more than anything.

Steve gets a call from the hospital, the way he is usually woken up these days. Every other morning, as soon as visitation opens, a nurse calls him for a quick update. The duties of a representative for someone unconscious, for his Billy in a coma.

He’s beyond exhausted, dragging himself to and from Hawkins General day in and day out, sometimes bringing Max or a few of the other kids along with him. Mostly because every day is the same thing, walking through the halls, facing the polite smiles from nurses who deal with this on the daily, don’t understand the way it feels to see the one you love on that bed.

If he does hear anything new, it’s usually not good news. He knows Billy is getting worse, but still he sits in that room for countless hours, watching and waiting for the moment he’s struck with a miracle, and he comes back to him.

The hospital is not quite as patient though, and since about month four of Billy’s hospital stay, they’d been encouraging Steve to consider his wards right to die. After so much time had passed by without signs of improvement, the nurses had started hesitating in the doorway when he was around, and offering kind little suggestions that were supposed to push him towards the decision to let Billy go.

Things like, “It’s not really him anymore, honey.” and, “He’s getting worse by the minute, poor thing.”, and Steve’s favorite, the one that made him leave the hospital in tears, “If he wanted to wake up, he would have done it by now.”

But no matter how true what they were saying may have been, Steve really did not want to hear it. The only reason the thought of letting Billy go had ever crossed the minds of doctors and nurses was because of what was on the news, all these up and coming stories about hospital ethics committees that were popping up all over the country recently.

They were being selfish, willing to let Billy die just because they were scared they wouldn’t be able to stand the heat that would come from keeping an eighteen year old boy on life support for as long as they had. Whether or not they actually thought they could save him was a question for another day.

So they would mail Steve countless papers and claims and pamphlets to try to reason with him, to persuade him that the best thing to do was to kill Billy because they didn’t want to deal with him anymore. It made him sick to his stomach, to think that people who were supposedly trained to help people were so hellbent on giving up on a patient.

He wonders sometimes, if they wouldn’t be so hasty to pull the plug had he been an easier case. If his father was more supportive and his biological mother present, or if the government hadn’t worked so hard to cover up the origin of his injuries. Maybe even if his representative was a nice young woman instead.

But there’s nothing he can do about it, so he just crumples the papers and ignores their premature condolences, and goes to visit Billy at every moment he can.

The drive to the hospital that particular morning feels like it takes a whole day instead of the 20 minutes the route actually is, Steve feeling like he’s suspended in time. It doesn’t seem real, taking the stairs up to the second floor, elevators were a no go after the free fall he took at Starcourt, and taking a visitor sticker and a bunch of papers from the woman at the reception desk.

He’s walked this route more times than he can count, but this time he can feel that something is wrong, different. On the top of the very first sheet the desk lady hands him, in bold black letters, are the printed words “Right-to-Die” and Steve already knows what is coming.

The woman gives him a half sympathetic look and reads off her scripted spiel. “The Hargrove boy has been unresponsive for six months now, with no signs of improvement in his condition. The recently instituted hospital ethics board wants you to seriously consider the contents of these forms.”

The words are so hollow, the look on her face mostly bored. Steve guesses this same speech was probably given to a thousand other people who’d come through this hospital, and it makes him feel nauseated just listening to it, her less than genuine pity as she reads off her clipboard, making it seem like she doesn’t even care what she is asking of him.

“It’s of course among your rights as representative to say no, but we want to remind you that he has no quality of life being artificially kept alive, and it might be best to let him go.”

“No, they told me he couldn’t feel anything. He’s not suffering.” Steve insists, and as much as he believes that he is right, the confidence in his voice is false. This was something he’d been thinking about every day for the last half a year. “You’ve kept him alive this long, right? That’s got to mean something.”

“Still, this is about him. We just want you to think about if keeping him alive is the right thing to do anymore when we can’t be sure what he’s going through. When he isn’t himself.”

Of course this was something he’d considered in his own mind, six months is a long time, and it was inevitable that a few times on his worst days, he’d have to think about pulling the plug. It was just so different hearing this nurse who didn’t know Billy insisting on it, it was just so impersonal, and it made him think about the hospital's greed, and how they probably just wanted to save money on ventilators and open up another bed.

Without saying another word to her, Steve walks away without the clipboard of papers, and off to room B-216. Of course he'd known this was coming. They’d been trying to drop hints since the moment Billy stopped being able to breathe on his own, but he’d been in denial. As long as Billy's heart was still beating, Steve had hope that he would recover if the doctors would just try.

Still, as he sits down in the chair next to Billy’s bed, he decides he doesn’t want to call Max today. He takes the desk woman's advice, as angry as it made him, and takes the time to truly reflect on the boy in that bed, with the feeding tube down his throat, the respirator breathing for him beside his bed, the IV in his neck, there because the veins in his arms had been so overused.

His hair is much longer now, just past his collarbones, but without maintenance, his blonde curls are knotted and dull. His skin is unnaturally pale, his freckles faded to nothing, and his whole body is littered with angry, dark red scars. The hole in the center of his chest still isn’t all the way healed, and the nurses are constantly fighting to keep it free of infection.

When he wakes up, they say he will be in immense pain and that he will have forgotten how to walk and talk and probably even breathe on his own. There was a chance too that his memory will have gaps in it, which could mean anything from forgetting what happened to him in July, to not even knowing his own name.

Basically if, no- when he wakes up, he won’t really be Billy.

Steve had always heard about and seen in the movies coma patients who twitch their fingers or moved their eyes, or who really give any signs of life, miraculously waking up and being themselves again, but Billy, he had only done the opposite.

At some point, he has to accept that Billy won’t be like one of those other patients, and, in the condition he is in, all pale skin and open wounds and zero signs of responsiveness, they were only prolonging his death. They had tried just about everything they could thanks to Steve’s willingness to cover the expenses, and, although he didn’t want to believe it, maybe just couldn’t accept it quite yet, it was, as the nurse had said, time to think about letting Billy go.

Not today though. He’d spend today with him at the very least, trying to push those thoughts to the back of his mind while he still could. The nurses used to say, when Billy had first been admitted and they still thought there was a chance of recovery, that Steve and Max, whenever she could come, should try talking to him, and Steve always did.

He never really has a whole lot to say, not since everything has been calming down recently. There were no more funerals to attend, no more grieving families to take a hot dish and his condolences to. The kids didn’t need him to watch them anymore, and Family Video had decided to lay him off until he didn’t have to make daily hospital commutes and he could work again. Basically, Steve’s entire world was Billy.

So it was only fair that Billy was what he usually talked about, reminiscing about everything they’d gotten to do together before the accident, telling him about what was happening with his sister now that she was getting older, and giving him updates on how many days it had been and how much he missed and loved him. One of the nurses had heard him say that once, seen him lean forwards and press a kiss to Billys forehead, but she had only turned away, pretending she hadn’t noticed.

Today though, it was much harder than usual to think of something to say to him. He always tried to leave all of the bad stuff at the door, didn’t think it would do Billy any good if he could even hear, to be listening to him always complaining or moping about their situation, but with death weighing heavy on his mind, what else was there to think about?

The anger and the remorse and the depression would be for when he went home tonight and downed a whole bottle of Fireball, Billy’s favorite whiskey, and called Robin drunk off his ass at two in the morning to tell her about how terrible he felt.

It was because he loved Billy with all of his heart that he wouldn’t put him through that. Even if it hurt more than anything else to see his love broken down and dying, which was, in Steve’s opinion, the worst thing that had ever happened to him, he always wore a smile on his face every day he walked into that hospital room.

As hard as that was, and as guilty as it made him feel to admit, Billy's sickness wasn’t the only thing making Steve miserable. He had also been through some unimaginable things himself while trapped in the Starcourt mall, and he didn't come out the other side the same.

Nightmares plagued him constantly, so that when he would eventually come back home from the hospital, he didn’t sleep more than fifteen minutes through the night. Being alone for too long warped his perception of reality, made him think everyone he knew and loved was gone, that he’d been abandoned or all his friends killed. He would constantly call to check on them, most of the time drunk and panicking, but they’d stopped picking up after the first few times. There were so many triggers too that could send him back to that night in an instant, where he’d just get stuck again.

And perhaps that is exactly why he can’t let Billy go so easily, because even if it is heartbreaking and makes him feel so empty inside being there with a version of his Billy who couldn’t speak to him or who he couldn’t hold, he was still alive. If he died now, Steve would have nothing. It would be no different from the losses everyone had suffered, the death of the chief of police and at least thirty other community members robbing them of their soundness of mind.

Letting go of Billy would just be another blow, to him and to the tight-knit community who had come so close together after the accident that rocked their little town. You wouldn't be able to tell from the fact that his room was always empty except for Steve or his sister, but the papers had revered him as a hero. Who he’d become after being hospitalized meant his death wouldn't just affect loved ones.

But more than any of that, he just didn’t want to give up on him. Pulling the plug meant sacrificing so many more moments they could have together, losing the chance to move on from what had happened. How could Steve ever know when it was the right time to do that?

When was it safe to say that Billy wouldn’t ever recover, and that they were just stretching out the inevitable? When could he feel right in letting his very best friend and the love of his life die? Deep down, past his initial reaction of shock and heartbreak, he knows he’ll never truly be ready to say goodbye, but that now was that time regardless.

Just like the nurses said, he wasn’t really Billy anymore. Who he’d been was a teenage boy with too much energy to burn, always getting into trouble and always in motion, bouncing his knee, twisting the ring on his middle finger or the locket around his neck, chain smoking cigarette after cigarette. It used to drive Steve insane how he wouldn’t sit still for anything, but now he would give anything just to have that back.

There was no personality left in him, no stupid jokes to cheer Steve up, no pestering his sister and her friends like a big brother does, nothing left in him at all that made him distinctly Billy. Steve wondered if maybe he had already given up.

If maybe, Billy wasn’t even in there at all anymore, and they were holding on to nothing just to feed their own selfishness. Steve wasn’t the most emotional of people, usually panicking before he got upset, but he could feel tears pricking at his eyes now, as he watched the slow rise and fall of Billy’s, or not Billy’s, chest, and listened to the beeps and hums of the machines that kept him going.

He knew what needed to be done. Just not today.

For now, he holds Billy's hand, unmoving and just warm enough that he could tell he was alive, and whispered to him anything that came to his mind.

If Billy could hear him, he knew he was probably tired of hearing the same stories over and over, thinking of Billy waking up and complaining about Steve being too boring made him chuckle to himself. An instant pang of regret tightens his chest, feeling guilty for being happy.

There was a really sweet nurse about the age of his mother who always checked in on him at the same time everyday, like he was the one with tubes and machines sticking out of his body. Her name was Dale, and she always peeked her head into the room around meal times to ask if he had been down to the cafeteria yet. Usually he hadn’t, and sometimes he still forgot to eat anyways, but it meant a lot to him.

Today though, she came all the way in the room, a sad look on her face, and he had to avoid her gaze entirely to keep himself from breaking down, choosing instead to focus on Billy’s slender fingers where he’d laced them through his own.

“Steve, honey, I know this is really hard for you, it’s hard for all of us when something like this happens, but you need to take care of yourself.” She was just being kind, but he wouldn’t hear it.

If this was going to be the last full day he’d ever spend with Billy, he was going to make it count. A soggy sandwich in the dingy old cafeteria wasn’t worth spending a single moment away from the other boy's bedside. He feels vaguely guilty about it, but he ignores the well meaning nurse, even as she says her generic condolences that all of them were trained to say.

He smooths out Billy's hair, brushing the part that always hung in his eyes to the side carefully, something Billy himself had always seemed to do when he was nervous. It reminds him of the time they tried to do each other's hair and Billy taught him how to make a braid, so he tells Billy about it.

When he hears the distant roar of a car's engine from the open window, it reminds him of the first time Billy drove him home in the now totaled beyond recognition Camaro, so he talks about that. A bird landing on the windowsill reminds him of sitting on Billy’s bed and talking about the seagulls and the beaches back in California where Billy had grown up, so he tells Billy that story too. The phone ringing at the receptionist's desk down the hallway reminds him of the time Billy had called him in the middle of the night to invite him out to the quarry, where they’d kissed for the first time and Steve clumsily asked him to make things official, so again, he told Billy all about it.

It's mostly a comfort to himself, keeping his mind off of the reality of the situation, but then the desk lady announces over the overhead system that visiting hours are over, and it’s time for him to go.

They had been giving him a lot of leeway here at Hawkins General, allowing him to visit every single day and sometimes with a 14 year old, which was strictly against the rules of the ICU. The end of visiting hours was a rule they always stood by though, and despite how much it crushed him to leave Billy by himself overnight, he always did it.

On his way out, he grabbed the stack of papers the receptionist tried to give him off of her desk. He would call Susan in the morning and ask her what she thought. He would try to involve her in the choice, since she’d technically claimed Billy as her dependent after her marriage to his father, who had given enough verbal and written agreements that he wanted nothing at all to do with his son while he was hospitalized that his wife could, and had, stepped in.

He went home that night with the thought in his head that this was the last time he’d do this, and by this time tomorrow, Billy would be dead.

#harringrove big bang 2021 #harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #billy x steve #ej writer #story by ej!#so excited to start sharing!#chapter two will be on tumblr later today!#it’s up on ao3 already if you wanna get ahead!

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nekowriteshaikyuu · 3 years

Text

- mistletoe with middle blockers -

𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕜𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕞𝕒 , 𝕜𝕦𝕣𝕠𝕠 , 𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕠𝕦 ,

— slight nsfw, fluff, not proofread

word count : i’m so lazy to copy and paste so uh..alot u^u

a/n : it was so difficult having little to no connection at home, but all’s good now ! anyways this was pretty last minute but nonetheless, i hope you guys enjoy this !! decided to create this after impulsively buying the christmas dlc for mystic messenger aksksk. also i tried to write for more than one person so yeah, do give me any feedback so i could improve:) ngl writing kuroos’ is so heartwarming, his one is the best out all three uwu (that’s why is a little longer lolol) anyways enjoy and merry christmas !!

—

𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕜𝕚𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕞𝕒 𝕜𝕖𝕚

he’s not really into christmas because of the blinding lights that littered everywhere, so he often stays home

his house is no where near festive so you’d hang some decorations every single day you come over.

on christmas itself, you saved the mistletoe last to kind of give off a finishing touch

tsukki would just mock you when you constantly jump to hang the mistletoe by the door, in the end he helped you and sighed because he know what’s coming.

“yaay !!” you threw your hands up in the air, eyeing on the last deco that was put up. tsukki leaned by the door, hands crossed over as he stared blankly on the floor. inching a little closer, you looked at him with your gleaming eyes, hinting him.

“i’m not kissing you.” he said coldly, walking away from the door to the kitchen. you pout as you trail along behind him, begging for even just a peck on the cheek.

“tsukki please ~ it’s christmas !!” your arms cling onto his as you rubbed your head onto it. tsukki wasn’t reacting much but inside, he’s dying by how adorable you were to desperately beg for a kiss. he wouldn’t mind kissing you, but he know very well that the minute his lips touch yours, there’s no way it will end then and there. he sighed as he took a sip of water, slowly getting annoyed by your constant whine and you pulling his sweater.

“stop pulling my shirt.” you eventually let loose before stomping into the room and closing the door shut, the mistletoe dropping to the ground. tsukki slowly made his way back and noticed the fallen mistletoe. picking it up, he opened the door slowly before hanging it back. you sat on the bed, face smooshed into the pillow as you laid completely still. he sighed, before walking up to you, grabbing your wrist and dragging you out.

you groaned, trying to pry from his grip but only for him to tightened it. he stopped by the door, having a moment of thoughts

“you don’t have to do it, i’m not asking anymo-” you couldn’t finish your sentence before tsukki turns to face you, cupping your cheeks and pecking your lips. you stood there, your face burning up and turning red. tsukki pushed his hair backwards before picking you up and throwing you to the bed.

“i knew this was gonna happen, you’re gonna accept it no matter what.” taking his glasses off, he glared down at you, his brows furrowing.

what a night you could say ~

—

𝕜𝕦𝕣𝕠𝕠 𝕥𝕖𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕠𝕦

this guy- istg.

any mistletoe, like any, EVEN THE ONES PLACED INFRONT OF A BUSY MALL, he’d sneakily give you a kiss.

your face will burn like hell but aint gonna lie though you liked it alot

he’ll go out to wrap his arm around your waist and pull you close to him, giving you a very long and passionate kiss

so long sometimes people just awes the both of you and wish you both the best of luck (you’re face will be as red as a tomato by now)

every year, he’d always hand you a gift after kissing below a mistletoe, just to spice things up (what a gentleman uwu)

maybe this year...i guess you could say you’ll never forget this year’s christmas. ever.

walking around the mall with your hand intertwined with your boyfriend’s, it was the most romantic date out of all the dates you’ve went with him. you could have spent your day at his place, binge watching every christmas movie he downloaded online. but he felt a little special and decided to bring you out to see the lights and do some shopping here and there.

you stopped after eyeing on the huge christmas tree deco that was centered at the mall. you pulled out your phone, dragging kuroo in as you snapped pictures of the both of you with the beautifully lit tree as your background. you heart melt as you take short glances to your boyfriend who was smiling as you snapped the pictures. after a few takes, you switched the camera around to take pictures of the lights and your surrounding. you were so engrossed with the atmosphere you weren’t aware of what’s was anticipating upon you.

you felt a hand gripping onto your arm and pulling you back. turning, kuroo only smiled before his eyes looked up. you followed his eyes to see the little plant hanging above the both of you. your cheeks grew red, knowing very well that he’d devour your lips even if you both are in public. kuroo took your phone from your hands, pocketing it into his coat. his hand snaked around your waist, while the other cupped the side of your cheek. his face slowly inched closer to yours, feeling the tip of your noses touching each other. your eyes were shut close as you felt his soft lips colliding with yours. as per usual, the kiss was slow, passionate, filled with love. you could hear couples behind aweing the both of you. a rush of embarrassment started to creep upon you, making you try to pull away from the kiss. it only made kuroo deepened the kiss, his grip around your waist tightening. after a solid seven minutes of endless love, he broke it off, his eyes looking straight into yours. you gave him a weak smile, still slightly embarrassed that this all occurred in public. he tucked your hair that was covering your face, lifting your chin up slightly higher to see your every feature.

“i love, y/n.” he said cheekily. you only lightly punched his chest, before saying it back. he took a step back away from you, pulling a small black box from the inside of his coat. oh my god. is this really happening? is it what you think it is? you watched every move he did, where he got down on one of his knee, slowly opening the box revealing a diamond ring nicely tucked in the sponge placed inside. a swam of people soon crowd around, some with their phones out recording.

“my dearest y/n, spending my high school years with you till this very day has never once been a bore to me. every moment, i cherish it. every memory, i kept it secure within my heart. you are my everything, and for that, i want to create more memories with you, each better than the one before. “ he took the ring out the box, reaching out for your hand.

“y/n, will you marry me ?” you could the lights reflecting from his eyes, his smile never leaving his face. everyone crowding around slowly waited for your respond, some clenching their hands into each other in hopes of this public engagement to be successful. you giggled, a tear shedding from your eyes. you looked at kuroo, stepping a little closer to him, before nodding with a smile pasted on your face.

“i would love to.” the crowd was cheering, applauding as kuroo slipped the ring onto your finger. he got up from his kneel, pulling you in for a hug. you sighed in relief as you bury your face onto his chest.

“god, this is embarrassing !!” you screamed into his chest, bringing him to laugh while caressing your hair.

hands down, this was the best christmas day ever.

—

𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕠𝕦 𝕤𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕚

honestly, he has never once walk by a mistletoe.

n e v e r

either he avoids it or just pays no attention to it

with that, he doesn’t get why couples kiss in certain locations that has a small plant hanging above them.

you thought you could use this as an advantage to get him to give you a little kiss.

you went to the deco shop and bought a mistletoe, hiding it in your bag as you went back into the dorm he was living in.

you waited for a perfect time before you could pull it out and kiss him

but i guess not all plans work out, huh ?

“satori !!” you cheered as he opened the front door, his smile growing just as you arrived. he let you in, closing the door behind him before plopping back in bed, reading his weekly shounen jump magazine. now is the perfect time. you quietly took the mistletoe out of your back, tiptoeing you way behind tendou who was busy reading. you held the mistletoe above in between both of you, preparing youself. you cleared your throat loud and clear for tendou to hear, which worked and he turned around.

you inched closer, eyes close as you slowly move closer to tendou to kiss him.

“wakatoshi ?” he said before moving out of your way, making you fall face flat onto his pillow. you groaned, turning to realise wakatoshi was standing at the door. tendou walked up to him, conversing away as you lay on the bed, upset that your plan did not work. you toyed with the mistletoe on your hand, tempting to throw it away. you were downplayed the idea of kissing him. despite dating him for over 5 months now, he never really showed much affection aside from hugs or just head pats.

after a while, ushijima left the dorm after handing tendou a gift. tendou turned to see you in the midst of chucking the mistletoe in the bin, which caught his attention.

“oh ? isn’t that the plant thingy that couples kiss under ?” you were surprised he knew despite not seeing one is real life. he walked over to you, taking it from your hands and observing it. he was mesmerised, fondling with it for a while. he placed ushijima’s gift on the table before resuming to inspect the little ornament.

you started to grow a little annoyed that we was taking too long playing with it. your hands were crossed and one of your knee popped out as you spoke in a very cold manner.

“look, it’s trash, just throw it out.” to your surprised, tendou stretches his arm that was holding the mistletoe up high above, before his lips pecking yours. his sudden action kind of caught you off guard. you could not react fast before he smashed his lips back to yours, a hand snaked around your waste to pull you closer. your hands cupped his cheeks as you slowly melt from the kiss. you’ve anticipated this long enough and now you got it.

tendou broke the kiss, chucking the mistletoe straight into the bin before pushing you down to the bed. he hovered above you, his hands caging you. he lowered his body closer to yours. you shiver slightly which made him grin from your reaction.

“you were hoping for this weren’t you, hmph?” he whispered to your ear. this was a whole new side of tendou you’re experiencing. however, you were rather fond of his more dominant side, instead of his cheerful loud side he portrayed since the beginning of your relationship.

your noses touch, his lips slightly brushing over yours. he got back up, removing his shirt before tossing it to the ground and caging you back with his hands.

“i guess our christmas is gonna be a wild one, huh?” he giggled before nibbling on your earlobe.

i’ll let your imagination roam further~

but let’s just say, you were satisfied at the end despite your plan backfiring<3

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itsnothingofinterest · 3 years

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As I’m sure some may have noticed, Endeavor’s got his arc going on, where after finally realizing how horrible he is and tries to become a better person. But a problem I & many others tend to have resulting from this arc is that lots of folks talk about how Endeavor’s ‘different now’, how he’s changing, and how that makes him so much better than Thief Takami or, of course, Dabi (ugh); and as a result I think it’s important we to address is how...Bojack Horseman-y his attempts at changing have really been up until now. Think of it as in honor of Rei calling him out and hopefully forcing real progress out of him in the future, we’re going over his lack of progress so far.

So, let’s look through all his most notable attempts at changing in comparison to what he was doing before that he’s making up for, as well as anything else he’s done that might reflect in some fashion on his redemption:

-We can start with Rei; the woman who he bought, sexually abused for about a decade, psychically abused for 5 more years than that, and then had locked up in a hospital for another 10 years and which she has only just left. He tried to make up for that by having her favorite flowers delivered to her room in the hospital he had her sent to. This is about the average of what we can expect going forward, btw.

-Then there’s Fuyumi & Natsuo, who he deemed failures and neglected so much throughout their childhoods that he appears like a stranger to them, who they know more by the damage he’s done than any actual interactions. To make up for all that, he bought them a house to live away from him and not interact with him anymore, along with their mother when she leaves the hospital. (Not Shoto though, he still interreacts with Endeavor.) This is, unironically, the biggest and most selfless act of atonement he has committed thus far. All down hill from here!

-Oh speaking of Shoto; the golden child who he beat throughout his childhood in order to mold him into a hero fit to carry on Endeavor’s legacy, traumatizing him to this day. To make up for that he...hasn’t done much, actually. I guess he’s yelling at him less & trying to be more polite. But his interactions with Shoto have largely been the same; still having Shoto work with him at his agency and learn his techniques. The best you can say is that Endeavor’s okay with Shoto coldly using him, as those things are also beneficial to Shoto’s career. Oh, also Enji had Fuyumi give him Shoto’s phone number to basically harass him mid-redemption arc. While internally monologuing about how he’s ‘different now’ too. So that’s also a thing to give him shiitake mushrooms for, if one were so inclined. (And I am.)

-But the one to really give the game away is Touya. For when he, post-redemption, sees Touya is alive; he immediately reminisces about him...and his quirk, and what he could’ve done for Endeavor if he had lived. I know he dresses it up in nice language, but that’s what his monologue was all about. Like really; I know he’s not literally saying all that out loud, but that really is some serious “saying the quiet part out loud” right there.

-Man, looking at all of this one may ask: what has he done with his feelings of shame & repentance all this time then? And the answer is; he’s moped around a lot. He’s moped about how Natsuo doesn’t like him, he’s moped a ton about how Shoto doesn’t like him, he’s moped about what he did to Rei, he’s moped about his job, he has moped right at Touya’s shrine about how he doesn’t belong at the family dinner, and of course he’s recently moped about Touya wanting him dead. Just. So. Much. Time. Spent feeling sorry for himself. Oh, and of course there’s all the freezing he does whenever his role as a father and role as a hero clash; first with Ending holding Natsuo hostage, and then again when he found out Touya was alive and a villain. And I guess that is an improvement, since in the past he would’ve just prioritized being a hero, forget his family’s wants; but when Natsuo’s getting sharp things pressed into him & Touya burning Shoto and himself alive while Endeavor just watched-Ah well you can see why it doesn’t feel like a really big improvement.

All in all, yeah he’s trying to be a good person now; and I’d really like it if we got something from that which I can’t so easily snark at sometime soon. It’s just that he’s so bad at it. And yeah, Endeavor-fans can praise him for trying if they really feel they must. Just understand that he is in no way free from ridicule for how bad he is at being a good person. The reality is that he’s got a lot to make up for, and he just hasn’t actually done much about it yet. After like 200 chapters! Sigh, let’s just hope his wife & kids can finally light the fire under his arse that he desperately needs.

#bnha #endeavor #anti endeavor #rei todoroki #fuyumi todoroki #natsuo todoroki #shoto todoroki #touya todoroki #dabi #ending bnha #thief takami #here's to some actual improvements in his future

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btsandvmin · 3 years

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Ask: Reply - 2021.03.30

Yet another batch of interesting questions from you all. I really appriciate how much you seem to value my thoughts and opinions, so thank you for interacting and investing your time into my blog, it means a lot. I got to hear from some of you that you felt my last post was very warm and even comforting, and honestly those are such sweet compliments. Thank you so much! <3

And before we start, just to let you know, I will answer asks about Let’s BTS on KBS in a different post. Because I got a lot of them, and I haven’t seen the show in it’s full yet. But... VMIN~~!!! 💜

You can check the topics below to see if anything interests you (no one is going to force you to read all of it unless you want to). There will be some possibly controversial topics and opinions in this post. Also, remember that I while I do put effort into answering asks, they generally will be less detailed and nuanced than a full post. Most of the time it’s a stream of thoughts with some added references if needed. Thank you all for being nice and understanding, it means a lot.

Topics:

Ask 1 - Did you catch some change in Jimin over time? Ask 2 - Vmin’s relationship becoming more instense Ask 3 - Ji/kook and their Tokyo trip Ask 4 - Idols dating members of the same group Ask 5 & 6 - Replies to earlier ask about not enjoying a pair because of shipping Ask 7 - Tae wanting to have children and him being together with someone of the same sex Ask 8 - Going down the rabbit hole, micromoments and shipping vs believing Ask 9 - Vmin cuddling and grabbing ass Ask 10 - Vmin vs Ji/kook being less/more vocal and how did I survive being a Vmin shipper for so long? Ask 11 - Choosing what asks to answer (and a bunch of nice things) Ask 12 - This ask just makes me happy

Ask 1 - Did you catch some change in Jimin over time?

Hi and thank you, that’s very sweet of you. :3 As for being a Vminie it’s ok if you don’t want to proclaim yourself as one, it’s totally fine just being curious and coming to me with questions anyways. But even so, if you do feel like a Vminie (and even if you don’t) welcome and I hope you’ll feel comfortable in the Vmin community.

A lot of people who get into RP shipping or maybe even believing, are like you not always into shipping before falling for a BTS ship. I think it can often lead to a lot of confusion actually. Being drawn into a shipping community that is kind of unsure of if it’s even shipping or beyond shipping a lot of the time is also sometimes hard to navigate. I think BTS being BTS and the incredible bonds they share makes it very inviting and leads to a lot of non-shippers getting curious. Maybe even more so if BTS is your first Idol group. (Correct me if I’m wrong, because I am myself not one of these people so I am just guessing.) I find people’s reasons for shipping and being attracted to different ships very interesting, but honesly all BTS ships are some of the most wholesome ones I’ve seen. The love these 7 boys have for each other is truly remarkable.

I’ve seen a change in both Jimin and Tae as individuals and of course in their relationship and dynamic as well. Growing up will do that of course, and they have been through a lot, alone and together. We know like Tae said that Jimin used to be very different, and that around Danger he started to feel more comfortable being himself. Jimin too has said he used to be “weird” and that he has started to relax more with time. I think Jimin has gradually become more and more comfortable in his own skin and with how to be as a member of BTS. I think this change is of course something gradual but that sometimes situations can make them “grow faster” due to being reflective or being exposed to a new problem, for example not being able to perform now due to Corona or how the Love yourself message really resonated and made the members think about their own lives as well. What I see is Jimin trying less to be cool and being softer and getting more relaxed in general, so it’s not surprising this reflects in his relationships with other members as well.

As for how Vmin changed I think most of us saw a shift around 2016, and we know they changed a lot when the dumpling incident happened. I think they got softer and most of all I think they realized the importance of communicating. How they need to talk and be open with each other and that they put in effort to make their relationship improve. They have both talked about this, and I think it’s something that lead to a big change in how they behave with each other. I feel we have seen them becoming more attentive, understanding and patient with each other because they put in the effort to have a better relationship.

As for Jimin being cutely shy I definitely think we saw that a lot during 2016-2018 but that we still see it from time to time. I still personally suspect it has more to do with normalizing behavior for the camera than Jimin being more comfortable and relaxed doing those things with Tae in general. I also think we see times when Jimin definitely seem to get shy or in some sense bothered with Taehyung’s actions towards him (I wrote this before Let’s BTS but that’s yet another example of Tae being forward and it making Jimin a bit nervous.). So again, while I do see this change in Jimin seemingly being more relaxed now, I think when it comes to Vmin think it depends more on situation and is something that they have slowly changed over time. I’ve talked about this in my post Vmin – Pushing the boundaries and also about the camera possibly being a factor in Vmin - Push and Pull.

I think we have gotten Vmin moments of all kinds over the years, and that’s why the shift with many things seems to be gradual and also not 100% consistant. But it also makes sense for any relationship to stabalize when they’ve been friends for so long and finally grown into adults. They’ve both become more comfortable with themselves and together. (Though there are still some very odd behaviors remaining if you ask me). So yeah, I’ve seen Jimin change and I am happy he seems more comfortable now. Vmin has changed too, and though they still have their stiff and odd moments and might even be careful about how they come across they definitely show a lot of things now that they didn’t before. And on that note let’s get to the next ask...

Ask 2 - Vmin’s relationship becoming more instense

Yeah, I kind of agree. They just seem to do more and more of a lot of very intimate looking things. And often it seems they increase these behaviors over time as they get more comfortable doing them, like hand holding for example. Again, I’ve spoken about this many times before as in my posts mentioned in the above ask. For me I kind of think Tae has always been very intense, but he’s just expanded and become more diverse in how he expresses it, if that makes sense? For example the songs, or them deciding to call each other soulmates (though Tae tried and was denied before the 2017 post-it) or simply pointing out Jimin as special are things that has happened several times but become more obvious and sometimes even blunt. They definitely seem a lot more intimate in general as well. I would say that kind of goes for most of the group though, as I am sure knowing each other for so long and slowly changing as individuals will affect their group dynamics as well. They all seem a bit more touchy and comfortable with affection now (I mean just compare Namjoon initiating touch early years to now.). Vmin has definitely increased a lot of their very affectionate and even romantic looking moments, even though I do think they had early examples as well. Mostly I feel they got softer, more attentive and understanding towards each other and has increased some particular behaviors that might seem almost couple like (though not always exclusively with only´each other).

As for people thinking Vmin hate each other... I just don’t understand how you could come to this conclusion about any of the boys. Fine if you think they aren’t as close as they want to come across, but hating and even just disliking someone for so long and hiding it isn’t an easy task. In particular these antis also seem to forget that Tae is very honest and straight forward. He’s called out bs from fans and his company many times... And yet he would happily play along with pretending to love the members and even going out of his way to show it in ridiculously sweet ways? Also why even like someone or a group that can lie to this extent? Then you wouldn’t really know them or what to trust at all, so why just pick the moments you think are genuine to stick to?

This idea that Vmin would hate each other is just weird to me... I mean it does show Vmin has a contradicting behavior and weird enough moments for antis to pick up on. Though I do think antis would twist any moments regardless if Vmin seemed totally fine or not. For me it’s clear you can’t fake feelings and statements and reactions so consistantly, and with a lot of small almost private or not very obvious moments, for so long. Honestly the only way Vmin is played up is if the feelings are there but they run with it a bit more... But even that doesn’t make sense because things like not talking about 4 o’clock until now or them themselves choosing the label soulmates and Jimin even being shy about it or even denying the Christmas song happened. These things come from Tae himself, in defiance almost, and thus I think it would be weird to have them play up some things but downplay others. Especially from a person like Tae who seems to want to be as honest as possible and sometimes even blurt out things he maybe shouldn’t.

Anyways, I don’t think we need to linger on this topic much more, because honestly no matter what Vmin’s relationship is it should be clear they mean a lot to each other and their feelings of love for each other are genuine and impossible to fake.

Ask 3 - Ji/kook and their Tokyo trip

First of all I am sorry you got insulted over just being curious and asking questions. Having an open dialogue and not shutting out arguments, questions or ideas never does any good (as long as it’s not done in a toxic/hateful way). I don’t particularly like speaking of other ships myself, but getting agressive or dissmissive is not the way to go.

First I would say I don’t think the trip has to have anything to do with Vmin’s bond... Not everything is going to have to be explained away as some grand scheme. Ji/kook going on a trip or Jimin going on a trip with other friends (like when he went to Paris/Hawaii/Russia) is nothing weird and shouldn’t be seen as weird just because Ji/kook are also in the same group and obviously close enough to enjoy each other’s company. (You might think Vmin in comparison not going on a trip is weird, but that’s a different discussion.) just going somewhere together does not make a ship more real and not going does also not have to mean anything.

BTW this is Vmin just a couple of weeks after Ji/kook got back from their trip, so I think it’s safe to say Tae had no problem with it. We really need to remember that likely no matter what ship would be real (if any of course) the memebrs are ok with it.

Actually just watch the whole segment if you haven’t because it’s one of the MUST SEE moments from BTS.

youtube

If you are sensitive or can’t read about other ships without getting triggered I suggest skipping to the next ask as I will now talk some about ji/kook. But I also want to remind you all that the most likely scenario is still no ship at all being real, and we should all be careful with trusting in narratives too much in general.

I don’t want to go into too much detail, because it’s not the focus of my blog. But the short story is that Ji/kook went to Tokyo together privately. They went there during a break in late october 2017 and were spotted by fans and then JK also released a travel vlog of the whole thing. The main narrative is that this was during a time Ji/kook was being normalized and working towards a glass closet with the help of Big Hit and that the GCF video was romantic. Because of the song and because of the artist being LGBT+ it was a message from JK about him and Jimin. There was also pictures of them shopping jewelry and there was a theory going around they bought matching rings and that the whole trip was a way to celebrate their relationship and again possibly also start working towards some kind of coming out. The trip is seen as an important turning point in most Ji/kook narratives and honestly until now I do think this is one of their most legit “moments” that isn’t just based on speculation.

(Also it was said that Jimin wanted to go with Tae as well, but it really doesn’t change anything even if it was about this particular trip or just in general. Ji/kook going alone is still nothing weird on it’s own.)

I would suggest taking anything from any shipper with a grain of salt though. I mean saying Ji/kook got engaged while in Tokyo and even talked about it/hinted at it/are open with their relationship to begin with would basically mean Ji/kook being together is a known fact by many at Big Hit. If that’s the case they don’t seem very careful or bothered at all by the possibility of their relationship ruining their own and the group’s career. Personally I see this as kind of unlikely myself, as I would think any LGBT+ idol would at least be a bit careful or discreet, and maybe even more so when fans are as invasive and investigative as some can be.

We also need to remember that while shipping communities are huge, the non-shipper fans, other shippers and even homophobic fans will always be a very large group as well. They will likely always outnumber “supporters” of a particular ship. No matter what ship we talk about, coming out would be difficult and lead to a massive loss in fans (and money). Not to mention the psychological effects it could have on the ones involved. I don’t see how the members or Big Hit would be careless with it if that was the case.

I won’t say ji/kook being together is impossible, because as I always say we don’t know enough about them or how a relationship would look like or be handled. I just personally don’t think many theories or narratives from ji/kookers makes sense, and them getting engaged and being open about it is one of these things. (This is also why I don’t think the members joking about a real ship looking like a couple seems like a likely idea.)

Taehyung and Jimin used to share hotel rooms all the time, and we know members showered together or that Tae posted a photo of Jimin in the bath. Having many moments like this I think it would take a lot to make one ship in particular stand out. Once again, even for Vmin the stuff that actually makes me question them are usually not the intimate things they do or the individual moments we get to see, but instead the context and possibly weird behaviors they have showed over time (and the songs).

I know more about Vmin, and I find them more questionable, but like I have said I still do understand why people ship other ships. I even find some theories very interesting, like even for ships like Tae x Hobi, there are stuff to find that make you wonder. But that’s the thing, all shippers can do this. So once again I urge you to remain sceptical but open, and let people ship what they want while we focus on enjoying Vmin.

I hope I answered your questions, and that the conversations about this topic remain civil. I am sorry for bringing up another ship, I just felt talking about this to this anon was the nice thing to do.

Ask 4 - Idols dating members of the same group

Hi and thanks for your ask. For me this isn’t really some big revelation, though I haven’t seen her original statement and as you say maybe it was just misunderstood. But still, I am pretty sure there are LGBT+ idols that date, and that it’s very possible there are inter group relationships of different kinds. I mean we legit have an example of a group (K-Population) that disbanded because one member cheated on another member he was in a relationship with with a third male idol. So we don’t know how common it would be, but it’s definitely not impossible.

However we can conclude from statistics alone that many idols will be LGBT+, and that all of them would be living in celibate is just not realistic. Being LGBT+ in any country is a risk, but of course in a country like South Korea that risk is a lot higher. There are still people who are openly LGBT+ in Korea, and even a few examples (though very rare) in the entertainment industry. But we have to remember queer people and queer relationships have always excisted under very difficult conditions. But they decided to be together despite the risks. Not saying we can compare, but just that we need to realize that something being difficult or even forbidden doesn’t mean it can’t happen anyway.

So, we can guess some idols, despite the risk, would still choose to be together/sleep around etc. We also know any relationship is a risk for an idol, or that they do stuff that are illegal etc. as well, so again, risk doesn’t have to equal something can’t happen anyway.

If anything what I find interesting here is that people do seem to know about some idols being LGBT+ or in relationships but it still remains mostly hidden. Unless she is talking about only people very close to her or her own group. Again, I think idols would be careful with any relationship, but obviously people in the industry know to be discreet about it to some level. But yeah, I think looking at any entertainment industry and being a fan of idol culture for a long time this feels very natural and something I would guess happens at least from time to time. I’ve seen other interviews with ex trainees etc. as well and it does seem a lot of rumors float around, but that often managers/staff find out stuff even before other members of the same group does. However, I do think we also have to remember BTS aren’t going to be exactly like all other groups, and likely has a lot of other aspects we need to take into consideration when speculating. Thanks again for the ask and info. :)

Ask 5 and 6 - Replies to earlier ask about not enjoying a pair because of shipping

Hi and thank you both for sharing. These are two replies to “ Ask 5 - Not enjoying a bond because of it’s shippers” from the post Ask: Reply - 2021.03.25.

Firts thanks for liking my posts, and indeed we should remember that romantic love is not automatically superior. Vmin just being Vmin is enough no matter their relationship status. We know their bond is special to them, and any partner of theirs would know it too and have to be fine with it.

I get feeling like “I don’t want those toxic people to be right” though... It happens to me too and it especially annoys me because even if any of the big ships are real that doesn’t mean all of their toxic theories and narratives are. But it feels like them being right about a ship being real would include the stuff they got wrong as well. So yeah, it’s not always easy to sepparate the two sides of shippers being toxic and having toxic narratives from the possibility of their ship being real. When it affects the way you personally enjoy a dynamic it has gone quite far though, and hopefully you might in time be able to sepparate the ship from the shipping narratives.

I know there are many people who feel this way and who also feel very bad about feeling this way. Sadly I really think this is just very common psychology that might be difficult to avoid once you get emotionally invested. Feeling bad I think is a very good sign actually, because you are aware you shouldn’t look down on or get annoyed with other members because of shipping. At least you aknowlegde and admit to it, which means you can try to work against it. Avoiding toxic places and people is a good start. I hope you can get to enjoy all of BTS’s bonds and work towards not having to feel bad. I know it’s not easy, but again, you should give credit to yourself for at least being aware and trying.

Again, I think getting involved with ships, or even just being a fan of real people, can come with a lot of difficulties when we start to build our own view of them. Getting that view shattered will never be pleasant, and even the idea of something can threaten our image and thus make us feel bad or even defensive. I really don’t know any great way to get around this but to simply try to be aware and get yourself used to the thought that your image might not completely overlap with reality. This goes for thinking something about individual people and their relationships to each other. We should always be prepared to be wrong. Not that we should say “anything is possible” or that everything is equally likely, because honestly saying things like BTS all hate each other etc. is so unlikely it’s basically impossible. (At least to me.) But again, we need to remind ourselves we are only people watching from afar. We do know BTS to some extent, but only what they choose to show us, it’s not a mutual relationship even though it might feel very intimate.

I think the biggest problem is when our own views become more worth to us than what we actually get to see or hear from the boys directly. When fans think we know better or get invasive and toxic in how we express our views. We also really need to remember to sepparate anything that comes from the fandom from what comes from BTS themselves. No matter if it’s toxic people or toxic narratives we have to try and not let it influence our views of BTS themselves. Again the only advice I can really give is to try and actively remember the difference and to stay away and not engage with anything that might affect you in a harmful way. I know it’s difficult and I am sorry I can’t be of any more help. But yes, you who feel like this aren’t alone, and it’s not easy but at least you are trying and most importantly don’t want to feel this way.

As for the second part of the second ask about wanting JK to be with someone who priorotize him I just want to point out that if another ship than Vmin is real I am sure they do love each other and appriciate each other. We don’t get to see everything, so for all we know they might say even “worse” things, just not publically. This is after all also part of our image based on what we see, which doesn’t have to translate into their real lives. I know it might feel big or weird with Vmin calling each other soulmates while another ship has to hide, but at the end of the day that’s also how WE feel about it, and not neccessarily how they would feel about it. If any ship is real I am sure they are fine with all the things all members do to each other at this point or they simply wouldn’t do them, at least most of the time. Once again it’s important to trust their judgement over our own views on what would be good or bad etc.

Thank you again for sharing your stories, I think not feeling alone and trying to understand these problems is a good step towards working to overcome it. <3

Ask 7 - Tae wanting to have children and him being together with someone of the same sex

Hi and first of all don’t worry about me getting angry. I rarely get angry for people asking questions, but rather how and maybe why they ask them. I don’t see why wondering about Tae being so vocal about wanting children is bad, but I do think we have to remember that wanting children doesn’t equal they will never choose to be with someone of the same sex. Jimin too has said “Is this how I will feel when I become a father” and has said he wants children. Tae being louder about it doesn’t make him less likely to be queer and it doesn’t mean he can’t still want it but choose to be with a man anyway, despite the struggles. I get your point though and it’s good to keep in mind and not gloss over. It would be something that might make a gay relationship with Tae less likely, but it also mostly depends on things we have no clue about.

We also have to remember no matter what it’s likely not something they would want now and there is still time for the world to change. Tae could be optimistic that things will change eventually, who knows. Of course it’s also possible for him to change his opinion. Personally I used to think I would get married and have children but now think that’s not for me. I do believe he does want children, don’t get me wrong, he seems to love children a lot and has even said he want a lot of children. But I just want to leave it open for him to change or to choose other things above having a family. We don’t know how important having children would be for him if put in the situation of having to choose.

I do think we shouldn’t dimiss Tae wanting children completely in the “is he with a man in a serious relationship” question but that jumping to “well then he clearly is going to get married to a woman” is something very different. He could be saying it because he sees himself marrying a woman in the future, it’s definitely very possible that he doesn’t think about it further than that. Or he could be kind of like “I want children, we will figure out the rest when we get there.”

In the end I don’t think Tae being loud about wanting family has to mean much in any direction as it depends on a lot of other things. Like what did he think when he said it, does he think the same now, would he choose to be with the person he loves over having a family, is he hopeful he will be able to have a family with another man no matter the current circumstances etc? We don’t know what Tae thinks, except that he does seem to want family. Which again, Jimin seems to want too, so then it should be brought up for him as well (even if Tae has said it more often.)

This is of course just what if’s to begin with, and wanting family and not being leagally allowed to is of course a big thing. We just can’t know how Tae personally would think about it or express it even if he was LGBT+ and in a relationship with another man. He could choose to in the end marry a woman even if he is LGBT+ as well of course. But again it’s one of those things that is too personal and where individual choice/view matters too much for me to really know if it would reflect in Taehyung’s way to express it or not.

Sorry for the kind of non answer... I just don’t think we have enough to go on and that assuming what Tae would say or nor say or what he would choose in the end is too difficult to say.

Ask 8 - Going down the rabbit hole, micromoments and shipping vs believing

Hi and thank you for your praise and shared moments. You requested to be on anon so I’ll just remove your name. :) I think it’s really important to realize the differences in our own views and behaviors, and I am glad you liked my post Shipping vs Believing because I really think it’s one of the most important posts I have written on this blog.

I’ll start a bit harsh by saying this; that moments on their own no matter how suggestive or weird doesn’t really mean much to me. Micro or big doesn’t matter much either, they might still mean nothing more than Vmin being platonic but having an odd moment. For me the behaviors and changes over time, the things that seem to become patterns and that doesn’t seem to fully make sense from an outsider perspective are the things that really make me wonder. But even then most things are simply interpretation and speculation and thus I end up somewhere with “this could mean something or it could mean nothing” for basically all moments. I won’t dismiss small moments just because they are small because if there is something they too are part of the whole, but I won’t hyper analyze big moments because if it’s nothing there it’s just me adding intention in my interpretation. It’s the full picture that I try to consider.

Truly questionable indivudual moments are rare, and again, on their own wouldn’t even be that questionable if not for the fact that some of them have happened more than once or twice. Basically Tae writing one song based on a very important moment between him and Jimin wouldn’t be too weird. But if he is consistantly writing to or about Jimin specifically there could be more to it. It’s still just a could, but it’s the way I view things as more or less interesting in a full perspective.

As for the Run 53 moment I personally didn’t see anything in that moment of Vmin sharing and eating that Gimbap as something suggestive (I assume that’s the part you meant based on the time stamp). I think Jimin getting a bit annoyed and him wanting to draw on Tae is more interesting in comparison. Or how JK seemed to think Jimin just wanted to write his name on Tae’s body and Jimin said he “couldn’t do it” on his own shirt.

For the instagram post, thank you for the collection of cursed Vmin moments. :) I do enjoy these moments and gush about them and speculate about them of course, but again... None of these videos on their own would really make me wonder about Vmin. I’ve seen far worse in many other real people ships (Taemin and Kai or just all of Shinee is a good example), not to mention most of them are on stage and could at least be dismissed as partly fanservice (again fanservice doesn’t mean fake).

No, for me moments on their own are not what makes me wonder about Vmin. The songs, the change over time, the possibility of them being careful with stuff (vlives or Jimin getting nervous) etc. is much more questionable to me. If we add moments on top, the moments could mean something... But they really don’t have to. Other shippers have their own moments that they think put their ship above any others, so it really is too subjective most of the time for me to truly think much of a particular moment. Even if Vmin would be real I don’t think a lot of moments has to mean anything special. The patterns though... Or when I have theories and I can keep adding to them... That’s when small moments and big moments become something possibly “more” to me.

Sorry if I am shooting down your moments, I still enjoy them of course, even though I don’t think they are suggestive or special on their own. But really, thank you for sharing your thoughts and these nice moments. <3

Ask 9 - Vmin cuddling and grabbing ass

Haha, it’s funny because when I got the first ask I wondered if maybe you saw MY POST, and turns out you did. :P No need to be sorry, I can still talk a little bit about it since that was part of your ask. And there are a lot of Vmin blogs and content so mixing it up is totally understandable, especially since it was just a moment and not a discussion post.

Personally I think we have seen many moments like this from Vmin and other members, and the only thing I feel might be something is how Jimin squeezes and then seem to change to slapping which I suppose looks less intimate. (The squeeze is not in the gif, sorry.)

Again, coming from the ask above this is a typical example of a moment that could be something or nothing no matter if Vmin is real or not. I do agree it looks very intimate and I do love that Vmin have an obsession with each other’s asses, but if it’s platonic or not is really just up for interpretation. Also while I do think they usually are aware of them being filmed I do think behaviors can slip through and they forget in the moment. Or they just don’t care at times? It wouldn’t surprise me if these slip ups are more likely to happen in each other’s company or in places they feel less guarded, for example at home. But even if it’s a reaction like “oh wait I shouldn’t do this on camera” it still doesn’t have to mean more than that they don’t want to show it camera. I’ve said it before but even being careful or doing things like hiding in rooms or even being jealous or writing songs has to automatically be romantic/sexual. Vmin act in ways that are questionable, but them being queerplatonic and just careful is very much a possibility as well.

Ask 10 - Vmin vs Ji/kook being less/more vocal and how did I survive being a Vmin shipper for so long?

Haha, you make being a Vminie sound difficult when truly it’s the easiest thing in the world. I know I am repeating myself but just because we got a lot of moments from other ships it doesn’t mean we didn’t get anything from Vmin. I also personally think that Jimin in typical Jimin fashion started to cling more to JK after he went through a rough time in 2018, just like Jimin got glued to Tae in Malta when he was sad and needed comfort. Jimin is just a good human like that. That being said, ships always go up and down in amount of moments and at this point I don’t think about it too much.

I really think Vmin sharing a lot more now has a lot to do with slow change over time, and simply feeling comfortable being more open. It’s of course possible they did spend less time in those years and thus had less to say... But considering some of the odd behaviors and the fact that Tae in particular didn’t shut up about Jimin at all, I think a lot of it comes down to fan perception. More people are noticing and hyping Vmin moments now as well. I also personally try to avoid the “what happened” speculations in regards to ships in particular when we don’t know if the change we see has to be about a ship or even if that change is actually real or just us projecting. Vmin saying they got closer is one thing, but when I speak about how Vmin seemed to get more careful that really is just my interpretation and guess.

I also don’t really know how much we can compare “do it a lot more now vs before” with Ji/kook because they still do those things... There are other factors that can play a part in why it’s brought up or not brought up more or less that doesn’t have to be related to being open vs careful. I mean, we got the Run episode of Ji/kook leaving together just recently, and Jimin mentioning several times about being with JK for the Billboard nr 1 news. At the same time we got a lot of Vmin and even Tae’s “I told him to come sleep next to me”... So really I don’t think the two things happening more or less can be easily compared or that we can add any intentions behind it.

Moments are up and down a lot over time... For all ships. And I see people start to worry “did something happen” even for ships like Ji/kook. Being a fan for long really does add perspective. I think for me coming into it being aware of idol culture and as a seasoned shipper it was also easier to just appriciate moments as they came and hoping for more without adding too much “doom think” into it.

I don’t get worried about Vmin because I know even if we have a period of less moments we will get more soon again. Just look at now recently with there being little moments here and there, and people being sad and waiting for crumbs, followed by this week with so many great Vmin moments!

Shipping Vmin is easy when I focus on what we have and what we get instead of what we don’t get or what other ships get. Having perspective over time and patience and faith in their bond also helps. :) Vmin are easy to love after all. <3

Ask 11 - Choosing what asks to answer (and a bunch of nice things)

Oh my, I mean thank you. :3 But also sorry? Because I feel this ask collection had a lot of topics straying away from just “lovely things about Vmin”. I even kind of compared other ships a lot, so I hope you understand I will bring up some controversial topics and have opinions that people won’t agree with from time to time. It’s not my focus or course and I will avoid things I do think are too toxic, but I also feel like sometimes the difficult topics needs to be adressed. Like a lot of the asks today for example.

I think I will make a post about ask etiquette, but generally I’ll try to answer your asks if I can. As long as it’s not something I don’t want to talk about or if it’s straight up toxic.

Still, your thoughts about me and my blog made me very happy. Thank you for liking my writing style too, because I tend to be all over the place and repeat myself a lot, not to mention actual mistakes and being generally sloppy. ^^’’’ So thank you! I just hope you are ok with asks like today too, but otherwise at least I am trying to add topics so you can avoid it if it seems like something you don’t want to read about. <3

Ask 12 - This ask just makes me happy

I mean what else can I say but thank you? And how your words makes me really happy and all warm on the inside. I try hard to not get swayed too hard in any direction, but not going to lie, that is very hard sometimes. Both in good and bad directions. As you say, at the end of the day we should all try to remember the difference between theory and confirmed things, even if something sounds very plausible or makes sense. And being an ARMY for a longer time (though not at all since the beginning) does give perspective. But it doesn’t really make my opinions superior or Vmin as a ship superior for that matter. All it really says is that Vmin are worth loving and that there is a lot to say and gush about them from every single year. Thank you again for your kind words.

And that was it for this time... There was a lot of complicated asks today, and some topics might not be what you wish to read about, but I hope you all enjoyed and found this post interesting regerdless. Sorry for the lack of depth to some of my replies, but I felt I included most of what I wanted to say to some very difficult questions that would probably require a lot more time and detail to truly answer well.

I have plenty of asks left, not the least about Let’s BTS. But like I mentioned I need to save them for later as I haven’t watched the full thing yet and I want as much context as possible. But there is one thing I do know, and that is that 95z is love!

Thank you all for reading, and sorry for the heavy topics and fuzzy replies. Feel free to discuss, but please remain civil. <3

#vmin #vmin analysis #bts shipping #btsandvmin #vmin moments #other ships #bts lgbt #vmin lgbt #Btsandvmin answer #my post

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whump-a-la-mode · 3 years

Note

mangata (n); the reflection of moon on water

Okay so I may or may not just have talked about my OCs here for far too long and I apologize.

This is part of my Villainsicle series. I’m unsure of how comprehensible it is without background knowledge of the series. In general, in this context, Villain is Whumpee, Henchman is Caretaker, and Trainer is Whumper. The rest of the series is linked on my pinned post.

This really is just self indulgent nonsense. Even the linguist came out in this one. But, regardless, I hope you guys enjoy!

CW//Trauma, difficulty speaking, muzzles, leashes, whumpee caring about whumper

As the two walked along the beach, moving at a plodding pace along the sand, Henchman couldn’t help but consider just how odd they must have looked.

On the surface, sure, it wasn’t odd at all. The oppressive summer heat that beat down throughout the day had ceased its sweltering, giving way to a mild warmth that made the ocean waters look horribly inviting. Behind the water’s horizon, the full moon dangled on a thread, filling the sky and creating a great mangata upon the ocean’s water.

None of that, of course, was odd. There was nothing especially strange about two people taking a late night walk along the abandoned shoreline.

The fact that both of them were fugitives from a secret Organization was perhaps a little more unusual, though, luckily, nothing about their appearances suggested that.

That wasn’t to say that the two of them looked entirely normal. Perhaps Henchman did, but Villain had never had the most normal sense of dress.

Henchman wasn’t one to judge the fashion sense of someone who had showed up on their doorstep wearing rags that had, perhaps, once been a hospital gown, at least not generally. But they couldn’t help but wish that their fellow fugitive would agree to stop wearing bulky mittens and a thick scarf wherever they went, regardless of the heat. They must have been burning up in that dress, but they didn’t seem bothered by it.

Then again, they didn’t ever seem bothered by much. At least, if they were, their facial expression hardly reflected it. Instead, they had an odd habit of tightly gritting their teeth, regardless of the situation, to the point that they feared one of them might crack at any moment.

“It’s pretty beautiful at this time of night, isn’t it?” Henchman spoke, putting on their best smile as they looked out over the shoreline as they continued to walk.

Villain nodded.

“Very pretty.”

They had been rather talkative all night. Not in an objective sense, really. To anyone else, they would seem awfully shy, speaking almost entirely in short phrases, never exceeding four or five words in length.

That alone was an amazing improvement, in and of itself. When Henchman had first met them, Villain didn’t speak for at least a month. Not a single word. They could communicate in other ways, pointing and writing and nodding or shaking their head, but they hadn’t spoken.

Ever since they’d finally opened their mouth, they’d had a very... odd way of speaking. Everything about their speech was abnormal, in one way or another. If they were a non-native English speaker, which was entirely possible, they had no accent to show for it. Instead, their voice was rather hard to describe. Every time they spoke a word, it seemed as though they were reading it for the first time, struggling with syllables and sounds. Their grammar was slightly better, though they had a tendency to forget words, leading them to furrow their brow and hum until they found a way to get their point across.

Still, every time they remembered a word they had formerly not known, Henchman couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride swell up in their chest. Slowly but surely, this practical stranger was recovering, and, in a small way, they were helping.

That was why they were taking this walk, in the first place. Henchman had discovered pretty quickly that public spaces were far too much for Villain. Even the peace of sparsely populated parks would quickly be shattered as soon as a stray dogwalker appeared on an adjacent side street.

So far, they’d had incredible luck with this specific stretch of beach. After a certain time, it got too cold to be any good for swimming or sunbathing, leaving the great expanse of sand free of the public.

On the surface, their little walks didn’t seem to do much of anything. Still, somewhere deeper, Henchman couldn’t help but feel that they helped. Even if just the slightest bit.

They looked out over the sand, seeing the dunes curl far off in the distance. At their side, the low tide lapped.

“Have you ever been to the ocean before?” Henchman asked, still keeping that warm tone, making sure they moved slow enough so that Villain could easily keep up.

“Um... Kind of.”

“Kind of?” They hummed inquisitively. “Did you live on the coast?”

“Boat.”

“A boat?”

“A boat.” Villain corrected themself.

“Like... a houseboat?”

“Um... No. Big, big boat. Really big.” Their brow furrowed, and they began to hum as they struggled to find a word. “Boat for planes.”

“An aircraft carrier?”

“Yes! Yes. An aircraft carrier.”

That brought up perhaps more questions than answers, but now wasn’t the time to quiz Villain about their past.

“You must have seen a lot of the ocean then... the moon is always so pretty, when it’s like this.”

Villain nodded, attention seeming to turn somewhere else as they looked out at the water.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Licks of water lapped up against the edge of the ship’s hull, rocking it ever so slightly that those leaning over its railing could not so much as pretend to feel the movement. The sprawling metal beast was simply too large to be swayed by the forces of the tides.

Trainer slipped the end of Villain’s leash off of their wrist, letting the leather strap dangle loosely from their muzzle. With the newfound freedom to lift their head, they did so, staring out over the expanse of black water, contrasted by the stark reflection of the moon upon its surface.

Villain couldn’t say that they understood, entirely, why they were here. They had returned from their last mission almost half an hour ago. By all accounts, Trainer should have followed their usual procedure; removing Villain’s mission gear, bringing them back to their kennel, and perhaps giving them something to eat if they were feeling particularly generous.

Tonight, however, none of that had happened. Instead, they had stayed on the ship’s deck for quite some time, with Trainer speaking to teammates and colleagues until all of them had retired to their quarters in the ship’s depths. Villain would have been lying if they said they hadn’t been getting antsy around that point, eager to get back to their own resting place for the night.

But that hadn’t happened. Trainer hadn’t followed their teammates to the lower decks. Instead, they had drifted over to the railing, looking over it as if there was something stunning beyond it.

Villain understood, somewhat.

What they didn’t understand was the fact that Trainer was still talking. The deck was deserted, and yet, still, they were talking.

As if they were talking to their own Asset.

Their voice had a wistful quality to it, carrying on a thoughtful conversation to nobody.

Of course, Villain had no idea what words were being spoken. Even after so many months, the tongue remained completely foreign to them. That didn’t eliminate, however, the whimsical tone of the noises.

An odd feeling swelled in their chest. It had been there, brewing, ever since they’d walked over here. It was... pleasant.

They were happy. They thought so, at least.

Even if they didn’t understand why Trainer was speaking to them as though they were anything but an Asset, they were happy.

It was hard to make much in the way of noise, with the muzzle forcing their teeth together, but in their throat, they did their best to approximate speech. It came out more as a soft humming. Almost a singing noise.

Trainer smiled, ruffling Villain’s hair with such affection that the latter choked back tears. They leaned into the touch, relishing it, even with how brief it was.

The next words spoken in that foreign tongue sounded almost like a question. Not a serious one, of course. No real answer was being prompted. Instead, it sounded hypothetical. Philosophical. Dreamlike.

They responded with another singing hum. They, too, smiled, looking out onto the endless water and the mangata upon it.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Villain stopped walking.

Henchman stopped in turn, immediately more concerned about their friend than about the walk. They turned to them, not saying anything for a moment. Giving them time to think.

“We used to look at the moon sometimes.”

The surprise was nearly enough to make their jaw drop. That must have been the longest sentence Villain had ever strung together, even since Henchman had met them. And all of it, pronounced perfectly. With an overtone of sorrow, sure, but perfectly.

They tried not to smile, feeling that it wasn’t quite appropriate for the moment.

“We?” Henchman questioned as softly as they could manage. “Who did you look at it with?”

“Um...” They clenched and unclenched their fists. “They, um, person from Organization.”

“Oh. Were they your friend?”

“I... Um... I don’t know. They... um...”

Henchman waited, allowing Villain to collect their thoughts for as long as they needed.

“Trained me. Um.. thing on my face.” They gestured along with their words, tracing a line from the corner of their lips to just above their ear. “Mean sometimes. But, friend, um, yes. Friend. I think so. Sometimes.”

Henchman frowned. They didn’t know what to say to that. Of course, they knew that Villain had been from Organization, just as they themself had been. Whatever they were describing, it didn’t sound much like friendship, but they hated to debate them when they were trying to think.

“They were your friend sometimes?”

“Nice sometimes. Mean sometimes. Friend sometimes. Trainer always.”

“Oh. Do you... Villain, do you miss them?”

Henchman couldn’t help but think of the way their friend always held themself, teeth pressed so tightly together. As if held in place by something. ‘Thing on face.’

And the way they acted...

“Miss them...”

Villain raised their head, turning, and staring out over the water. Staring at the moon.

“Yes. I think so. Yes. I miss them.”

#whump #whumpee #whumpblr #whump community #villainsicle #hero villain whump #hero villain prompt #villain whumpee #whump prompt #uh oh (posts at 4 am)

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problematic-faves-appreciation · 3 years

Text

Problematic Faves Cliffs Notes: Harvey Dent/Two-Face

Batman (1980) #329

Summary: Once a crusading district attorney that worked alongside Batman and Jim Gordon to fight crime – now the duality-obsessed super criminal known as Two-Face.

Harvey Dent also serves as a dark reflection of Batman's own struggles living a dual life with conflicting identities.

Main Goal: To enact his own justice whilst committing crimes.

Fears: Uncertainty, himself in general [the things he's capable of, specifically], losing control, his loved ones dying, his darker half discovering Bruce's secret identity [Detective Comics (2016) #1021], Renee Montoya's rejection [Batman: No Man's Land, novel], and the Joker [Joker (2008), only].

Mindset: Sees himself bound by fate and its will. As a result of Harvey's black-and-white worldviews, he considers his two-headed (scarred on one side) silver dollar a truly objective instrument of justice due to it only yielding two simple, 50/50 outcomes at the end of every coin toss.

"Some people go to the beach to forget their problems. They can watch the waves for hours. I understand the fascination.

There's a pattern – then there is no pattern.

It's the same with the coin. We want it all to mean something – we want to find the pattern – but in the final analysis, it's just waves."

— Harvey Dent, Secret Origins Special (1989) #1

•••

"He was always interested in the law – some might say obsessed. Man's law gave order to Harvey's world – they delineated the parameters of right and wrong, good and evil. They gave him something to believe in."

— Gilda Dent, Secret Origins Special (1989) #1

•••

Hugo Strange: Let's go back further, you were a rising star, a beacon of light for this city. A white knight riding in to save it with the Dark Knight not far behind.

Harvey Dent: You can leave him out of this. He is wrong. They all are. No one understands the beauty of fate's hand. I am grateful to Falcone. He gave me a clarity; a purity that few will know. Everything boils down to a simple choice, this way or that way, good... or bad.

Hugo Strange: Do you really believe that?

Harvey Dent: How could I not?

— Batman: Arkham City

•••

Batman: If you pull the trigger, how are you different from the Roman?

Harvey Dent: That's Jim Gordon talking. You know the system doesn't work. That justice can be decided like the flip of a coin.

— The Long Halloween

•••

"You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time... but you were wrong! The world is cruel. And the only morality in a cruel world is chance. Unbiased, unprejudiced, fair."

— Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight

•••

"Life's a lottery, Holman. It's chance that decides who lives and who dies. Who gets cancer. Which kid is born with spina bifida. Who gets run over by a truck.

This [the coin] is what decides whether or not I blow your wife's brains out."

— Harvey Dent, Joker's Asylum: Two-Face #1

Teen Titans Spotlight (1987) #13

Character Traits:

🌗 Loving • Idealistic • Genuine • Principled • Resolute • Focused • Driven • Workaholic • Passionate • Eloquent • Wrathful • Obssessed • Brooding • Self-loathing • Black-and-white thinking • Dauntless • Fair • Honest (generally) • Man of his word • Learned helplessness (regarding the coin and his choices) • Self-destructive • Unpredictable • Hair-trigger temper • Can be persuaded • Charitable (depends on coin toss) • Takes his pain out on others • Self-enabling • Serious • Harsh • Intimidating • Vengeful • Physically violent • Self-aware • Conflicted • Feels remorse • Tries, but fails to improve as a person • Too Dependent on his coin • Fatalistic • Suicidal • Forgiving • Self-centered, but not selfish 🌗

Key Facts:

Harvey Dent...

• Had mental health issues long before his disfigurement [Batman Annual (1990 #14, Batman: The Animated Series - Episode 10, and Batman: Arkham City].

• His father physically abused him every day as a child. Christopher Dent used a double-headed coin to make Harvey believe he could "avoid" the beatings if the coin landed on the non-existent "tails" [Batman Annual #14].

• Bruce Wayne was his childhood friend [Rebirth universe & Batman: Nightwalker].

• Harvey "Legal Eagle" Dent was the top of his class [Secret Origins Special (1989) #1].

• Paid for his father's nice apartment [Batman: Two-Face (1995) - Crime & Punishment].

• Half of Harvey wanted to love his father, while the other half wished him dead. Despite everything, he tried to make peace with Christopher prior to the acid attack [Batman Annual #14].

• Never stopped loving/thinking about Gilda Dent when she disappeared from his life following the events of the Long Halloween [Batman (2006) #653 & Batman (2011) #712].

What's more, Harvey continued loving Gilda so much that he wound up murdering her second husband's killer in a pre-Long-Halloween continuity [Batman (1980) #329] because the man's death left Gilda grieving.

• Fun fact: The Power of Love helped him resist Poison Ivy's pheromones in the Dark Victory #11!

Begone, thot!

• Blamed Batman for what happened to him with Salvatore Maroni Carmine Falcone and the acid attack that scarred his face [Batman: Arkham Knight].

• Uses his coin to determine whether he should kill or spare his victims. Also, he has been known to perform acts of charity [Detective Comics (1942) #66 & Batman: The Silver Age Newspaper Comics Volume 3 (1969-1972)] sometimes.

• Loves and hates Gotham [Batman and Robin (2013) #23.1].

• Dislikes hypocrites [Batman: Two-Face (1995) - Crime and Punishment & The Spectre (2001) #5].

• Developed strong feelings for Renee Montoya in the Batman: No Man's Land storyline.

• Continued caring about Renee deeply, despite the events of Gotham Central (2003) #10 [Convergence: The Question #1-2].

Received training from Batman [Batman #653] and Deathstroke [Deathstroke (2018) #38].

• Has tried growing better as a person, but he keeps failing [Batman Annual #14 & Batman and Robin Adventures (1995) #1-2].

• Has re-scarred himself more than once [Batman Annual #14, Batman #653, and Batman: Black and White (1996) #1].

• For all his faults and crimes – such as nearly beating Dick Grayson to death in Robin: Year One – he has helped people [The Batman Chronicles (1999) #16], defended Jim Gordon from himself as Jim's defense lawyer [Detective Comics (1999) #739], cares about the women in his life, and keeps his word when the coin comes up good.

He is a complex character, period.

Other Facts:

• Has seen Cocteau's "Beauty and the Beast" [Batman (1986) #397].

• Knows how to sculpt [Detective Comics (1986) #563].

• Owns a "thememobile" like Batman [Batman (1987) #410]!

• Likes baseball [Batman (1987) #411].

• Likes symmetry [Batman (1989) #442].

Smokes, but also doesn't [Batman (1994) #513].

"My own version of the literary reference mark known as a diesis – more commonly known as a double-dagger! My next pair shall strike to the heart of the matter!" — Harvey Dent, Batman: Two-Face Strikes Twice #1 – the words of a man who certainly reads a lot!

Batman Annual #14 & Teen Titans Spotlight #13 – A himbo he is not!

• Reads classic books such as "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" [Detective Comics #66] and "A Tale of Two Cities" [Batman: Two-Face Strikes Twice #2].

• Still finds putting criminals behind bars fun [Batman Gotham Adventures (1999) #12].

• Can speak Spanish [The Batman Chronicles #16].

• Doesn't mind hitting women at all. There are so many examples of this; Harvey confirmed it himself [Batman: Streets of Gotham (2009) #7], and beat up Jim Gordon's wife in Batman (1999) #572.

• Made a self-insert comic book in an art therapy program. Yup, he wrote and drew it himself [Detective Comics (2001) #753]!

Called it "The Adventures of Copernicus Dent and His Best Girl and Plucky Assistant R'Nee!"

• Plays chess with Batman [Gotham Knights (2002) #32].

• Has watched Star Trek [Nightwing (2008) #150].

• Fought and killed a werewolf [The 2008 DC Universe Halloween Special]. Yes, really.

• Was a cult leader [Detective Comics (2020) #1020].

• Rebirth!Harvey is now working as a jailhouse lawyer in Blackgate [Detective Comics (2020) #1024].

• Understands how binary code works, but computer geeks make him sick? [Robin (1994) #11] Yeah.

• Has kids. Twins! [Batman: Two-Faces Strikes Twice]. It looks like they're irrelevant.

• Remembered Renee's birthday and sent her tulips [Detective Comics (2000) #747].

• Has been a judge before [The New Batman Adventures - Episode 24 & Arkham Unhinged (2013) #11].

• Hates odd-numbers [Robin: Year One #2].

#batman #harvey dent #two face #gilda dent #dc comics #my posts #problematic faves cliff notes

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comfy-whumpee · 4 years

Text

Whumping Safely 101

Many people in this community have mental health problems, face various types of discrimination, and have complicated relationships with some parts or types of whump. In particular, I aim this at people who care about the experience of survivors and others with triggers – partially because I am an abuse survivor who often flirts with triggering content as part of my love of whump.

Keeping your blog safe is difficult, takes effort, and is never a perfect process. But as the community grows and grows, it’s really important that we hold ourselves to a high standard. I would argue that this is a responsibility of all content creators, but especially those of us in the messy playground of whump.

I’ve got three sections in here: content warnings, writing with care, and community interaction. I’ve tried to make it navigable. It’s about 1.8k words. Shorter than a lot of drabbles! I welcome good-faith criticism on this topic and further questions on my own views.

Content Warnings

The biggest responsibility, in my opinion, is empowering your reader to make their own decision on whether they want to expose themselves to your writing. This also happens to be by far the easiest way to help people whump safely.

What to warn

This is a big and ever-changing topic. Some things you should warn for as a rule of thumb are anything NSFW, pet whump and box boy whump, drugs and alcohol, medical and hospital content, graphic gore, intimate partner violence, and animal harm. It can be tricky to draw the line of what counts – what needs a warning? If you’re in doubt, just warn it anyway. It doesn’t hurt.

If someone requests a trigger be warned for, even if it’s something that feels obscure or tame, show compassion and agree to the request. This is someone who cares enough about being able to read your writing that they wrote in! They want to be able to read it and enjoy it. You’re being complimented.

Otherwise, look at what other blogs tag for. You’ll see some variation in styles and levels of detail, but it’s a good way to gauge what people think is warn-worthy, when we’re often writing stuff that would already be R-rated in mainstream media.

The easiest way to make sure people don’t see your triggering content is to use a cut. Tumblr is not a very functional website and likes to delete cuts, but a cursory check of your posted content will usually tell you whether it’s worked. With asks, cuts are very spotty, so don’t be afraid to post an ask response separately with a screengrab of the original question. People often then respond to the ask itself with a link to the post, especially if it’s a whole drabble. Tumblr is weird and bad so just do your best.

Content notices

I.e., a quick summary before the drabble, usually in bold, to state what will be coming. I like to distinguish between using content notes (CN) and trigger warnings (TW) to indicate severity. Others might use the old phrase ‘dead dove do not eat’ to indicate this is a heavy piece, and often you will see qualifiers like ‘intense’, ‘mild’, ‘mention’, ‘referenced’ (i.e. it is discussed but not actively happening), and ‘implied’ (as the opposite of ‘explicit’). I’ve also seen a couple of people use ‘vibes’, which is a really nice way of demonstrating that it’s there, but not the focus. A quick paragraph like this, or just a line, lets people make a quick risk assessment on their reading.

This is also important if you’re sending in asks or requests to people. If you want to ask about something triggering, send an inquiry first about whether the blog is okay to hear it.

Tagging

Tagging is a chore, but it’s your primary way of warning people about your content. The main benefit of tagging is that you can be as detailed as you want, because can be tagging for content in general, not just triggers.

In a best case scenario, you’d tag the kind of whump you’re doing, tag triggers, tag characters, and even your ‘verses, because tagging is your index for your blog. If you tag reliably, you help your future self and your readers find stuff, and you also make your blog really dang safe. People who have unusual triggers can blacklist tags, and will pick up on your content tags to help them.

Don’t just tag your own writing. Tag your reblogs, tag your prompts, tag your asks. Yes, edit your asks to add the tags. Tag your images and gifs. Tag your images as images and your gifs as gifs.

If you aren’t up for detailed tagging for whatever reason, just tag for triggering content, and add stuff to that list if you’re asked to. My usual technique is to make a mental note of tags while I’m formatting and editing before posting.

Be aware that your first five tags will be used in search results. If you’re using tags that are associated with kink too, such as ‘shibari’, you might want to rethink your tag order if you don’t want interaction from those blogs. Also think about what tags might come up in non-whump contexts, such as ‘collar’ or ‘PTSD’. Some tactics for getting around this I’ve seen are adding ‘whump’ after the content or writing the tags in past tense (i.e., ‘collared’).

It is also a good idea to watch out for when you might be reblogging something whumpy that is intended as kink / porn / fetish, especially in images. Tagging these as spicy / nsfw / kink is a sensible move.

Writing with Care

Okay, now for the harder stuff.

I mean here to lay out some guidelines for how to write in a way that helps your reader build good faith. This is a much more nuanced topic, and it’s different for everyone. There will always be differing opinions on what should and shouldn’t be written about, what a good depiction of a sensitive topic is, and how to discuss that topic. I tried to strip this back into absolute basics that I hope we can all agree on.

Maybe your whump involves abuse. Maybe it’s gaslighting. Maybe it’s severe mental health problems, or addiction, or slavery, or you write about or analogise real-world issues. Whump deals with the dark stuff, and that’s a big part of its appeal. But don’t ever forget you’re writing the dark stuff.

(Try to) Know what you’re doing

Some of us play fast and loose with plots, medical accuracy, worldbuilding, and other things that get in the way of the pain we crave. This is all well and good, but when we start using whump that speaks true to people’s lived experiences, we shouldn’t be careless with it. I’m particularly talking about things that get represented poorly in mainstream media, such as abusive relationships, issues around marginalisation, mental illness and disability.

Be critical of media that you’ve consumed. Think about how its depicted things that you want to depict in turn. Look for opinions on fictional representations of those issues. Be aware that you might be more ignorant of things than you realise.

Look at how others are writing these issues, particularly if they’re writing from a perspective different to yours. If you haven’t personally experienced what you’re writing about, e.g., if you don’t have PTSD and you want to depict a character who does, seek out stuff written from or with experience. Listen to the experts.

If you’re looking for stuff about representation specifically, I recommend this collection of posts about ‘Braving Diversity’ cultivated by Writing With Colour, who are in themselves a fantastic resource for this topic, and have recommendations for other blogs that deal with intersecting issues.

Listen to others

Missteps are inevitable. Nobody is perfect. If constructive criticism is offered, that’s also a compliment to your writing. Someone read your work and thought about it, and thought you’d care about improving it. They’re offering themselves as a resource for helping you see your work in a new light.

Criticism is hard and sometimes hurtful, but even if we don’t think it’s accurate, there’s often a grain of truth in it. If someone tells you that your writing is harmful, think about why they’ve said that, not whether or not they’re correct. This is an opinion! Opinions are subjective! But what drove someone to send that in?

You don’t have to respond to all your criticism and definitely don’t respond straight away. Being respectful to those who are trying to help you means taking the time to consider it properly. Sometimes, they don’t need a response. Others, you might want to learn more about what they think before deciding. You might have already discussed the topic, in which case, you might just want to reblog your previous posts.

If it’s sent in bad faith or is outright hateful, you’re well within your rights to just delete it and move on. You might get the same criticism over and over again, and that’s exhausting, and you don’t have to retrace your steps for everyone.

But if it’s new, even if it puts your hackles up, you can always stop and wonder why someone felt that strongly about your work.

Take a step back

One of my better-known characters is a pet whumper who conditioned his victim to adore and depend on him. It’s not always easy to represent how deeply messed up that is within the text – though I think that’s part of the challenge – but in meta-commentary, I am always describing him as a creeptastic bastard lacking compassion and self-reflection. I hope to always give the reader the confidence that I know just how wrong it is.

This is a really simple thing you can do just to give readers good faith in you. Show that you know what you’re writing is dark and messed up. Show your understanding for the issues you’re handling and that they’re complicated. It might seem self-evident, but when you’re writing the really dark stuff, or unhealthy relationships, or institutionalised whump, you can inadvertently create the impression that you just think it’s fun. The fact that it’s fiction does not automatically absolve you. Show that you care about doing it right.

Community Interaction

I’m going to keep this one short and sweet because I will almost entirely be preaching to the choir here.

Be polite to others. Imagine saying what you’re saying to their face.

Don’t send anon hate. Just don’t. If you can send criticism off anon, do so.

Nobody is obligated to interact with you.

Nobody is obligated to monitor their own reader base.

If someone says do not interact, do not interact.

If someone says do not interact, why they’ve said that is none of your business.

You don’t need to spread the word about someone’s bad politics.

Ask yourself if your input is needed, or if what you’ve said has already been said.

You don’t have to take a side.

Take care of yourself. Take breaks. Remind yourself that whump is a small part of the world.

That’s all from me, folks. Stay safe.

#discourse...adjacent?#whump community #whump etiquette

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zenrayne · 3 years

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For those dealing with depression: self soothing tips

It never truly goes away until we learn to love ourselves I’m realizing. To tell the inner critic and the self hating part of us or the pessimistic side of us that I love you and you’re worthy.

I noticed when I beat myself up mentally that part of me is angry at myself because that part is sad as shit and just wants me to do and be better or to not feel anymore pain. That self hating part of me doesn’t understand my worth because I never told it and my parent made me feel worthless.

I’m learning very slowly for almost 2 years now. It gets just a little easier each time. I cry less but I’m more numb. But when I relapse or break down where my depression makes me feel like I’ll never be happy it’s easier to pull myself out of the pain than it was 5 years ago. 5 years ago suicide was on my mind every day when something went bad. Then I actually attempted it twice and had one accidental overdose. The last time I tried I realized if I don’t push myself to try to live than I won’t know what it’s like to be happy I’ll have died without finding out what my potential can be. I have to decide to either fully die or fully live I can’t teeter totter all my life when I feel a negative experience or negative emotion.

Now when I’m depressed, crying, having a bad memory, anything that feels like it’s breaking me inside I self soothe. It’s usually while I’m having a panic attack and or crying my eyes out and I feel like giving up. Self soothing is something my parents and no one could do for me.

To do it I rub my upper arms as if I’m hugging myself yet comforting myself and just repeatedly saying positive things like: “it’s okay. It’s okay to feel this. Your emotions are valid. You’re not your bad thoughts. You’re safe. It’s okay. I love you. I’m here. I won’t hurt you anymore. I’m listening to your pain. It’s okay to feel this. Let’s get through this hard part together.” I self soothe like a parent for myself no matter how much I don’t believe the words I’m saying because of my pain. I say it over and over until my mind listens, calms down, and starts believing.

If I can I go and journal. Or listen to music and I force myself to sing or dance to my favorite song to get my low energy up more. Exercise is great too if you prefer not to dance. Exercise with music. Moving your body gives you endorphins its the natural pain killer because they activate opioid receptors in the brain that help minimize discomfort. They can also help bring about feelings of euphoria and general well-being.

If I literally can not do any type of physical activity. I meditate mindfully, so I try listening to my thoughts and I belly breathe. Or I listen to calming instrumental music and only focus on belly breathing. If a thought pops in my head I either say “I’m thinking about ...” out loud or to myself to notice I got distracted and to go back to doing my breathing. Or I imagine folding the memory or thought into a box and putting it safely away for later or I imagine in on a cloud drifting past me. Sometimes I imagine it becoming a rose and I light the rose on fire. You can come up with anything creative to passively and without judging to put your thoughts aside. I do this for 10-30+min until I’m satisfied or I just can’t do it anymore.

When I listen to my thoughts objectively it’s like I’m looking at the thoughts of my depression and this body. I remind myself if I can observe my own thoughts than that possibly means I’m not my thoughts and if I’m not my thoughts what am I? I think I’m the being or spirit behind the thoughts experiencing life. If I can say words in my head without using my mouth and without using my ears to hear it than how is that possible? My consciousness is behind everything I experience.

I try to not let my negative thoughts and perceptions pull me under. Doesn’t mean I win every time. Literally every other day I’m having an emotional swing because I’m trying but anxiety and depression can be so overwhelming and powerful. But healing doesn’t have to be feeling positive or feeling happy or doing something productive. Healing is listening to yourself and telling yourself in any way shape or form that you have worth and that you love yourself. You have to. You have to do it even if you don’t believe your own words.

We’ve told ourselves so many hurtful things in our mind and experienced situations that in our mind proved that we are worthless. Those things conditioned our mind to completely spiral or those things triggered a genetic component we have inside of us to be depressed. But remember: only you can know and tell yourself your worth. If you believe your life is pointless than your life is pointless. If you believe your life had potential than it has potential. If you believe that anything you put your mind to you’ll accomplish you’ll do it. Mindset is powerful. Fighting against depression is tiring but being careful to feed your mind with something uplifting can eventually change your automatic thinking that life sucks and I suck I hate my life and I can’t feel this anymore I can’t do it starts to turn into maybe I can be happy. Maybe my life won’t suck soon maybe my thoughts isn’t what my future will be like

It’s hard. It’s so hard but something inside of you wants to live it may just be 1% of you but it’s that 1% that keeps you alive this very moment. People die from depression; living with depression makes you stronger than someone who doesn’t even understand what it feels like to have it weighing on you nearly every day. Dealing with emotional and maybe physical symptoms that you push through. Each day tell yourself it’s a victory because you lived.

Here’s what I do

Whenever your mood is a little up write a list of as many reasons to continue pushing/living/trying and it can be as little as *”the sun feels nice on my skin and makes me feel good”* or it can be as big as *”I have a dream that I want to accomplish.* Looking back at that list helps so much because it’s your own handwriting, it’s a past version of yourself telling you *”it’ll be okay just look at what you have to look forward to. What you’re feeling is ok but don’t forget about these things that make you feel good”*

Writing everyday one thing I’m grateful for in a journal helps because I get to look back and see all the things I was grateful for in the month.

Doing minute gratitudes in the day is helpful: just looking at a blanket and saying out loud “I’m thankful I have something to keep me warm.” Or looking at your ceiling and saying out loud or in your head ”I’m grateful there’s a roof over my head.” Looking in the mirror at your reflection ... and saying “I’m grateful that this body protects me” or “I’m grateful I can see and understand that I’m alive. I have a consciousness while an animal like a dog can’t recognize their reflection I have the ability to see myself and find any type of meaning in life”Just take anything you see if you’re down and think about how you can be thankful for it. It can even be your hands for letting you be able to feel sensations, being able to hear music, you have legs to dance and move, a mouth to eat yummy food and to talk to the people you care about.

Tell yourself every morning when you see your reflection “I am enough”. That’s it. Say it as many times as you want or say it once. But look at your reflection into your own eyes for a moment and then say it. It makes it very personal and makes associate the words “I am enough” with yourself. Do it every day. And over time you’ll start to notice that you’re starting to feel more and more like you are actually enough.

The more and more I do gratefulness and self soothe it helps me do it more often and it improves my mood than if I didn’t do it.**

Be safe 💓 and don’t invalidate your depression or your own pain. Your body is feeling it it’s real. Soothe that pain and just try a little to feel better when you feel up to it. Don’t fall into the depression and even if you do you can always get back up when you can.

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sugiwa · 3 years

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Hi. I am the Advice Anon. Please ignore those asks! I am so sorry for spamming your ask box. I still need help, so I’ll paste the entire thing over here. Again, sorry and thank you! Have a great day!

My reply and the full ask are below:

Hello! I hope you’ve been having a great day so far. This is probably unlike all of the other asks you get on a daily basis, author. However, I am in dire need of help, and I have turned to you. Before I begin, I want to apologize in advance, as this ask is going to be long. Now, like I said before, I need some help. You see, I am a freshman in high school, and school hasn’t even been going on for a full 10 weeks (a quarter), and I am already in a huge, messy, sticky situation. You probably already know that in high school, you need a certain number of credits in each field to be able to graduate. I am going to be extremely vague about this because it doesn’t really matter, and I’d really like to remain anonymous, if you know what I mean. One of the fields is World Languages and Visual Arts. Obviously, I am not talented enough to do Visual Arts, so I opted for World Languages instead. My teacher for the course I chose this year… she’s nice. Really kind, and I love that she makes learning a whole new language and culture, which is extremely hard, so much fun. And the fact that she’s one of the nicest teachers I know makes the rest of this so, so painful for me. 4 days ago, for me, was a Thursday. In this class, we had a vocab quiz that day (background info: two days before every quiz, my teacher posts a practice quiz to be done before class starts). I don’t really want to discuss what happened, as it still brings tears to my eyes, but I will give you a vague summary of what was going on. Basically, I couldn’t access my quiz (it was online), so my teacher told me to come in after school to re-do it. I was supposed to close down my computer and work on homework from another class, but instead of doing so, I worked on the practice quiz. And… this was considered cheating, because I was getting extra practice in before taking the quiz– something that the other students didn’t get, you know? My teacher saw my computer screen, and told me that she’d talk to me after school, and she’d be calling home. I couldn’t concentrate for the rest of the class, because I was afraid of what might happen when she called home. After school, she told me to speak with her, and be honest about it. When cheating happens, at our school, the teacher will write us up for Academic Dishonesty and give it to the administration, who then decides the consequences. My teacher had told me that if I was honest with her, she wouldn’t write my up; she’d just give me a zero on the quiz and call home and tell them what I did. I was honest with her, because like I said before, I was afraid. Once I told her everything that happened, she told me that I could call home, let them know what happened myself, and I’d be off the hook (with a zero on the quiz, of course). So, I called home, like she had asked of me, but… they didn’t pick up. I told her that they didn’t pick up, and she told me that it was fine, and that she’d talk to my parents in-person before they picked me up from school. I’m not going to lie, that terrified me more than calling home. I don’t really remember what happened after that, because I was too busy crying, but I do remember that she mentioned something about me doing this before, and that it was not OK to do it the second time, but she’d let me off the hook. The thing is, I am 100% sure I haven’t done this before… or maybe she just didn’t approach me the first time. I told her that I didn’t do this before, and she told me that I was lying again, and began to write me up. I told her that I didn’t mean to do this, and that I was sorry, but she told me to stop lying. She said that she DID approach me the first time I did this, and that I was rude to her then. This brought tears to my eyes– my kind of favorite teacher telling me that I was rude to her. You see, I didn’t grow up here, and although I’ve lived here for 4 years, I am not used to the way people interact here. It was very different where I grew up. For example, you didn’t ask each other how their day was, or what they did during their day, unless you were REALLY curious or concerned, because that was considered nosy and rude. So, I tend to be unintentionally rude, and completely oblivious to it; I have no idea when I’m being rude or not, unless someone specifically says so. I also don’t really understand people well, so that’s a huge problem. So… hearing this from her, really hurt. I told her that I didn’t intend to be rude, and I was trying my best to change (I mean, I was & am reading a book to teach me etiquette and all), and she replied with “that’s good to hear”. Then, when my parents came to pick me up, she talked to them, and even asked one of my parents to walk with us to the Administration Office to turn in the write up. Stuff happened, I got called into the Assistant Principal’s office, and now I have a zero on my quiz (and my homework activity that I never finished), Saturday School, and a black mark on my record. But the thing is… that’s not what I’m concerned about at all. Sure, getting my grades up in time for Progress Reports is going to be an extremely hard task, and Saturday School is going to leave a huge black mark on my record, but that’s not what I’m worried about. My grades have been fractured, but so has my relationship with this teacher. I feel as though she hates me now, that she has lost all trust in me. (Background info: our school does Odd and Even days, so I have half of my classes on one day and half on the other, so that means that I didn’t face my teacher at all on Friday) 3 days ago, on Friday, when I went to school, it was an average day. It would have been an amazing day, had it not been for the situation I was in. All I could think about that day was my World Language teacher. And just thinking about her, and about that classroom, it… gives me a bit of anxiety. This is where I need your help. What would you do if you were in my situation? I really want to repair my relationship with my teacher, because I know that she’s really important; we’re going to be on the same campus for the next 4 years of my life, and even more importantly, she’s going to be my teacher for the next 8 months. I want to graduate with good grades, but more importantly, I want to graduate without holding a grudge against my teacher. I want her to like me, and I want to gain her trust again. Today is a Sunday for me, and I have to go back to school tomorrow, and I have her class then. A part of me is really scared to go to school, a part of me is really angry at my teacher for reporting me (even though it was the right thing to do), and a part of me wants to ditch school tomorrow, or even drop out or transfer from her course, all because I don’t want to face her after I did the wrong thing. It’s not only that, either. I’ve also been avoiding my friends. Would you like to know why I am confiding in awesome strangers on the internet anonymously instead of letting my friends know what’s going on? It’s because I’m afraid that they won’t like me anymore, and they’d ditch me or something. They’re amazing people, and I know that they won’t do that, but a part of me is still paranoid. I’ve been avoiding my friends since Friday, barely talking to them at school, and texting them a little bit in our group chat. They don’t really suspect anything, but that’s good. And that’s why I am asking you. Not just you, but actually anyone who sees this, if they helped me, I’d really appreciate it. I really need help moving forward in this situation, and I’m desperate for help. My parents don’t understand the situation I’m in, and I’m too scared to talk to my friends about it, so I’d really appreciate the help. It’s OK if you don’t reply to this, author. I know that this doesn’t affect you in any way, so you’re not obliged to help me. I’d like to thank you for taking the time from your day to read these extremely long asks. Have a great day. P.S: I absolutely love What Heroes Do! Izumi is such a well written character, and sometimes, I see myself in her. The way she handles situations is so inspirational! And your writing skills are top-tier! My best friend and I actually started writing a book 4 years ago (I mean, we wrote for one month in 6th grade, and then spent one day in 8th grade editing it, and we’ve only got a prologue and 1.5 chapters done, so… clearly, we aren’t doing a good job lol), and you’ve inspired me to go back to that book and re-do it! Thank you so much for being such an inspiration and an idol of mine! Ilysm ❤️

sugiwa:

I wanted to take the proper time to reply to this. I think any adult willing to hold a grudge against a child is in the wrong. You clearly made a mistake and are now taking steps to improve and learn from it. Additionally, I think teachers tend to forget how much stress students are under in their academic and private lives, so a mistake should be used as an opportunity to teach not punish. I don’t think that you should worry about what this teacher thinks of you. Your teacher didn’t believe you, despite you telling them the truth. No matter how kind or nice someone is, their behavior towards you will always reflect their inner thoughts. If you’ve clearly made a mistake, you should fight to prove that. It’s not as if you intended to ‘cheat,’ given the situation we’re all in with the pandemic, online classes and quizzes are the norm. These kinds of things probably happen regularly. Additionally. I don’t think you need to concern yourself with being rude. My culture is rather blunt and when I first moved here, people weren’t fans of brutal honesty, so it was a big cultural shock. If people aren’t willing to learn about your culture and understand, then I don’t think they’re people worth hanging out with. Lean on your friends, I don’t think they’d make a big deal over a couple of mistakes and if they do, then it might be worth reconsidering why you were friends with them.

Thank you for your kind words about the story and I really hope everything works out for you!!

#submission #anon

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cherriesink · 3 years

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Kurusu Shuutarou - Murmurs

Murmurs are snippets of character reflection earned by increasing Explore Points during Exploration. They usually include 6-7 monologues about other characters and 3-4 monologues about things important to the specific character.

These lines are taken straight from the English translation of the game, so fair warning of bad grammar.

About Yatsufusa “Yatsufusa is like a younger brother to me so I’m always curious with him. I was just like him when I became a vampire myself.

Maeda, Yamagami, Suwa, and Takeuchi... I finally got used to my new body with their support. I was caught up with negative thoughts about our eternal life. But now, I just look what’s ahead of me and move onward. If that gives me another 100 years to live, so be it- That’s how my mind has shifted.

...Honestly, there is not a single good thing about being a vampire. But I started seeing things positively after finding out that even I could be useful. Yatsufusa hasn’t realized that just yet. I can tell from his eyes.

But nothing will change even if I try to convince him. In the end, he has to accept it himself. Of the abursdity of becoming a vampire and this entire world...

After all, none of us know the correct way to live as a vampire.”

About Maeda “Colonel Maeda is my boss... who leads Code Zero and is VERY intimidating... I’m stronger than him for sure, but I always shrink away from him when seeing his toughness.

I know he’s from Saga- and the master of Taisha, but Yamagami told me that it’s his original since he made “improvements” with his own techniques. Besides, he’s a monster since he can slash in the speed of light when his left arm is a prosthetic. He can defeat an unranked vampire, so it’s as if he’s a vampire himself. A vampire that doesn’t need to drink blood...

There’s Suwa, Takeuchi, and Yamagami...

After all, Colonel Maeda is the only person who can lead such a unit filled with vampires that are quite the character.

But I wish he can do something about bickering with Yamagami every single time. It stops our strategy meetings creating this awkward atmosphere... not to mention, it’s simply horrifying.”

About Yamagami “Yamagami is always agitated but he’s a nice person. He told me that he fell in love with his wife and got married. AND Yamagami was the one head over heels in love with her. In the end, he finally got her to date him after countless turndowns. That’s why he’s a devoted husband while being a vampire.

I know that he goes around to his wife’s house in the spare time of being on patrol. I’m sure it’s his routine until she passes away... Even if he can’t see her in person since she thinks he died with honor in service to the country...

We don’t get old. That’s why we cannot live in the same timeline as ordinary people. They are apart and we’ll never be able to see each other again, but Yamagami will continue to protect his wife. They live in a different timeline, but their bond as husband and wife will not change. That’s what I believe.”

About Takeuchi “When I first met Takeuchi, I thought he was the kindest person. He speaks politely too. Only... the things he talks about is way too terrifying! He makes tools and weapons that helps our weaknesses as a vampire. So it really helps and we appreciate him.

...But his eyes look scary. The way his mind works is scary, and what he says is scary. He always wants to test his new invention on Yamagami too...

He told me that the fund provided by the military is hardly anything at all, so he sells his his inventions at department stores. He said the sunscreen that protects us vampires from the sunlight is the most popular item. Apparently, it also brightens up the human skin and is making him a fortune. It’s amazing that he has the talent for making money too...

The only thing is, is that he’ll ask you to assist his experiment the moment you show any kind of interest...”

About Suwa “Apparently, Suwa joined Code Zero so he can kill vampires. A vampire that despises vampires... He said he was attacked by vampires that came along with the missionary during the Azuchi-Momoyama period...

His body contains a high concentration of vampire poison from numerous vampires. Takeuchi believes that his hair probably turned white because of the side effect. I guess that’s where his grudge towards vampires comes from...

I wonder how he managed to survive on his own for hundreads of years? Is he with us because he wants to kill vampires and that’s all...?

I hope he’s able to find peace even for a little bit by spending time with us since he’s lived in solitude for a very long time.”

About Defrott “Just like they say “Let sleeping dogs lie,” Defrott is harmless as long as you do not violate his territory. It seems he’s not interested in conflict between vampires. He’s like a little boy who’s a bystander of a play, waiting for the ending to come. Although... he is a few hundred years older than me, so he isn’t really a “boy.”

...But when he pretends to be one, I almost forget he is the strongest and most dangerous vampire in the world. I sometimes wonder if I can protect Code Zero- if Defrott challenges us to a serious battle. I doubt that I can... because I can tell Defrott has powers that even Takeuchi’s inventions and Colonel Maeda’s brain cannot withstand.

But i think a part of him is still human deep inside... He is a very interesting man.”

About Shinnosuke “I’m worried how lonely Shinnosuke looks sometimes. Boys his age probably go out with their friends but... I guess it’s hard for him since he’s busy working. Didn’t he say he was raised by vampires...?

I don’t have much to if he’s living a happy life... but I think it’s important to have a human friend around the same age as him. Because he’ll grow older than Ishikawa at this rate.

But he probably knows that- Vampires and humans can only spend a short amount of time together... more than me, a newbie vampire... I guess there isn’t anything I can say.

A human that despises his own kind and adores vampires instead- I hope he will learn to love humans one day. Although, who am I to say when I’m neither?”

About Family “I wonder how my friends and family are doing... They think I died in honor like Yamagami. I actually have my own grave and mortuary tablet too...

I want to come out and tell them that I’m fine whenever I see my childhood friend praying for me in front of my grave... But how can I come out to them that I’ve turned into a vampire? Besides, I’ll be breaking the rules of Code Zero.

I feel bad for making many people sad... How ironic- everyone thinks I’m dead but here I am with a never-ending life...

But I can’t be near them. I’ll watch over them just like how Yamagami is watching over his wife. I’ll watch over my friends and family... walking under the bright sun. Till the day comes they are filled with joy and happiness.”

About Drinking Blood “Yamagami and the others all tell me that I have to drink blood. But... I can’t.

They say that other animals’ blood- like mice will also do but tastes bad. That human blood tastes the best. But... I just don’t like the idea of drinking blood because I don’t think I can stay human once I do.

I know that I can’t keep this up forever. I know that... but it’s blood we’re talking about. I just can’t drink it no matter how much I’m told that it’s good... I mean, how can people bite into other people’s necks just like that just because they were told “You’re a vampire starting from today”!? I simply don’t get it.

I tried getting my nutrients through other things but Blood Candies have a weird smell... It would be a lie to say that I don’t have any thirst for blood. However, my desire for staying human is much stronger...

There are people who don’t like to eat meat. So why can’t there be a vampire that doesn’t like to drink blood...?”

About Vampires “I’ve met many vampires ever since I’ve joined Code Zero. Vampires that indiscriminately attack people like monsters. Vampires that find pleasure in killing people like psycho killers. Vampires that fall into despair and self-destruct...

But there are ones that can live with no problem just like Defrott. Some vampires work hard like a decent person and pay for blood. And then there’s us... those employed by the government hunting down our own kind.

There is no right answer to being a vampire, just like how there’s no right answer to being a human. There is no right or wrong. Still, we fear death while we live our never-ending lives...

This may last forever. Who knows what awaits in the future. I don’t even know how long I can keep up my human spirit... Perhaps it’s the end of me when one day I lose my humanness.”

#mars red #kurusu shuutarou

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