#like I might actually try to question or argue that bc what the fuck man.
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YouTuber!Stephanie
Stephanie has a youtube channel (she 100% gives it a name like gotham_after_dark or bat_interpreter) where she follows Batman and mocks him, she definitely also makes content on tiktok and instagram
She’s recording fights with rogues and him interrogating questioning people and doing voice overs in a goofiest growl she can for batman but she also does voices for everyone else (it gets to the point where penguin puts a hit out and is actively trying to expose the youtubers identity bc steph does this terrible whiny british accent when she’s imitating penguin)
She starts her channel right after Bruce fires her from Robin and still does it to this day
Bc if she’s gonna get shit for not being Tim might as well go all the way right?? She’s just doing the opposite of what Tim’s doing or outright copying him depending on which would annoy them the most
Stephanie records batman dangling some guy off a roof for the 37th time this week while going “You said the cheese on the nachos at your restaurant was imported directly from Italy but I saw you…THIS CHEESE IS FROM A GROCERY STORE…in GOTHAM… do you know what batman does to liars??”
Batman’s chasing the joker? Again? Here comes Stephanie with her fucking camera “Joker baby, you know that fight with Cobblepot meant nothing to me” “You know what, Bats? Fight whoever you want!” “Why are you going to Cobblepot’s lair with a grenade launcher? Baby…?” “Well, if the wellbeing of fucking Oswald is sooo important to you, you fucking cheater ☹️ I’m gonna kill him” “HUH” Stephanie’s joker voice is pretty good but she stops when Jason follows her channel after admitting he watches it (however Damian gives zero fucks and edits in his scarily accurate joker impression and will break into Jason’s apartment at random to do his joker impression)
Stephanie’s Duke impression is just her making puns in a bad robot voice and Duke hates it sm bc she’s saying shit like “Don’t signal for backup bc I’m already Signal-ing this ass whooping” “The yellow is the Signal for you to run” “Hey hey hey, night time is when you do this stupid shit rn is Signal Time” “The sun is my Signal to be vigilant-y” “Setting off that alarm should’ve been enough of a Signal for you stop” (Dick made tshirts and Duke refuses to talk to him when he wears them)
You legally have to be a level 79 hater to be a vigilante in gotham so most of Steph’s videos esp after Bruce has pissed her off are just her shitting on batman in a terrible growl “Damn, I’m getting too old for this…my knees hurt so much” “Nightwing thinks he’s funny, asking me if I remember the dust bowl…mf I remember the fucking big bang” “I’m so good at this, I don’t think anyone knows I’m a vampire” “Bruce Wayne owns gotham general and can’t cure Alzheimer’s?? I hate that asshole, I don’t even remember where tf I’m going” “I wanted to be Spider-Man and now I’m this” “Ooh, I’m Batman and I hate fun, happiness, and joy” “Don’t do crime, be like me…perpetually bitchless and breaking kneecaps” “Some people need coffee for a pick me up but I just need to see a purse snatcher piss their pants” “I don’t actually meld into the shadows, I just have Apple Maps and it takes me the long way”
Batman’s fighting or arguing with black mask? Stephanie has been waiting for this moment so every video with black mask is just her making fun of black mask to the point where there’s barely any batman slander “My real names fucking Roman so I had to go all out with this stupid ass costume…I’m not even a real gothamite, I’m from metropolis” “Sionis…I don’t care… you blew up thirteen hostages” “ITS NOT MY FAULT, OKAY?! Did you know you’re supposed to wash masks? Especially if you wear the same one everyday? Bc I fucking didn’t” “…Sionis…” “THERES MOLD ON MY FACE and this mask smells like ASS” “Everyone knows that, you moron…How do you think I found you? I can smell your stench from damn near two miles away…” “I’m like scary though right??” “No, Sionis, you just have poor hygiene…and issues” “Dammit, I’m like a dollar tree version of two face” “Not quite, what’s lower than that? Dollar tree is too good for you…don’t tell joker but Harvey’s way-”
Stephanie has a two hour video of batman grappling across Gotham just shitting on metropolis and sixty seven minutes of it is just Superman slander in a terrible growl
There’s short clips of cass suddenly disappearing or appearing out of nowhere before and after dismantling someone with the michael myers theme playing in the background (Cass does dramatic flips and landings every time steph records her)
When Bruce complains about the threat to their identities and compromising ongoing missions/investigations, Stephanie (who is purposely trying to piss him off) just looks him dead in eye and goes “Well, you’re not the boss of me sooo” so Tim gives a presentation and shuts down every single argument Bruce makes just to be contrary bc he’s a fucking asshole
Tim only has a problem with it when Stephanie and Damian start working together bc Damian does concerningly accurate impressions and Damian keeps making Tim sound like a fucking idiot and it’s worse bc he can mimic his speech patterns (“I can’t do this anymore… I’m sad and pasty… Call the fifth robin, you know…the only competent robin…”)
Like Damian’s repeating one of Tim’s caffeine concoction induced rants about bagels in Tim’s voice while Steph is growling at him to focus in her batman impression
When Tim brings his complaints to Bruce about Stephanie’s youtube account, Bruce cites Tim’s own argument back to him so Tim takes over editing and recording to be an asshole
#stephanie brown#spoiler dc#bruce wayne#batman#tim drake#damian wayne#duke thomas#jason todd#dick grayson#cassandra cain#dc gotham#dcu#youtuber!stephanie brown#Damian stands at the end of Jason’s bed at 3am and just does the joker laugh for no fucking reason#Damian is 100% responsible for Jason’s mental health decline#Steph does an accurate british accent but it’s still whiny bc Alfred gave her the ‘I’m not mad I’m just disappointed’ look#Stephanie’s yt channel actually makes it easier to keep their identities secret bc she uses every batman theory in her videos#Stephanie 🤝🏾 Damian: psychological warfare on their friends and family#They probably think they’re just being mildly annoying but in actuality they’ve caused 67 mental breakdowns a week
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also i want you to rank the multiversal stevetonies: 1872, 616, ults, mcu, and any others you want to include ✨
OOOOO BOY. Okay
So number one is extremely unsurprisingly going to be 616. They're the ogs and absolutely no one does it like them. The slow burn, the extremely unresolved homoeroticism, and the angst (the ANGST!!!!!),, all of that is just unparalleled. None can compete with that much lore and all those moments of them just saying sappy gay shit like "you gave me a home" or "i'm not half as good at anything as i am when i'm doing it next to you", or absolutely heart-wrenching things like "it wasn't worth it" or "he loved you, and he admired you, even when you fought"
After some deliberation with my own self I have decided that 1610 (Marvel Ultimates) is my second favourite. I just love the dynamic A LOT. Imagine you're this repressed homosexual man who was transported a billion years into the future and you fall in love with the most obnoxious man ever and then you find out he's dying. The struggle of reconciling with your own self and then trying to pursue something with someone who might as well be dead. There are just so many possibilities
MCU is going to be a respectable third. I have a lot of fondness for it because it is what introduced me to stevetony (when I first saw the helicarrier scene all I remember was thinking "these guys have sexual tension and I want to be there when they resolve it"). One complaint I have is the initial hostility that they had, because I think A LOT of people got hung up on that lmao. I don't really watch marvel movies anymore, not even old ones bc they just make me sad :-(. Still, they have some absolutely incredible moments like "i'm home" or "do you trust me" "i do" and "i thought you and Tony were still gazing into each other's eyes (thanks natasha)"
1872... Oh 1872. I have a lot of feelings and not enough Canon content, and that's the only reason why it's so low on the list. I love how Steve was literally the CATALYST for Tony becoming Iron man like. That is so sick omg... He was so grief-stricken that he literally went mad. I also fucking love their interactions "I think you pulled enough corks for today, Stark. It ain't even noon" "oh why hello there sherif. I guess you have nothing better to do than infringe on my constitutionally guaranteed right to pursue happiness (can't argue w that ngl)"
Avengers Assemble!! I actually fucking love them ngl but the reason why they're number five is that there isn't enough angst. Where is the bloodshed and death and tears????? I need to see grown men crying and screaming in agony thanks. Other than that, I love their dynamic and how fucking domestic they are. They are so married they're making my parents look single omg like GET A ROOM GUYS. My favourite thing that Steve ever said in that show was "iron or not, you're still the man" hell yeah boy get that dick
Marvel's avengers 2020 (the video game!!). God. I did not play it myself but I have seen Stevetony scenes and they are so SICK. Tony being so fucking DEVASTATED at Steve's death is really entertaining and makes me very happy. He should continue being sad hehe >:-))
Other than that, I haven't seen any other universes w them in it. There's EMH, and I'm planning to watch it eventually (I'll let you know what I think!) and as for 3490, I think that needs a separate post in itself. I hope this answered your question hehe ty <33333
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「 🐳 」 hello! i haven't forgotten about your response—i was unfortunately hit with a series of ✧˖˚ unfortunate events ˚˖✧ (yes... pun intended for the sake of lightheartedness <3) shortly after the response, and i needed time to recover. i've decided to join you along the ride for the obm asks!
1.) how did you first get into obey me? personally, i was playing swd games for quite some time before obey me was released in december of 2019, so once i saw an ad for it i told myself, “well! another silly otome game from them to pass the time”, ahh i was so wrong with just how much flavor it had in all of it's terrible, atrocious glory.
satan was the first one to cause me to go into a miserable spiral once i had a revelation of what his birth actually meant, and thus, began spewing my silly little analyses to the small fandom at the time. i no longer go on longer tangents about satan as much as i do solomon (and recently, mephistopheles due to how noble his values are and how little people seem to realize it), but if i dare see someone in favor of obsessive cat-lover satan i have no issues with bashing their head against a digital brick wall and arguing that he is the least likely of the brothers to be obsessive over anything that falls into that category.
16.) what is your intimacy level with each character? i've often gotten a lot of teasing remarks from friends for my levels, but,
lucifer — 25
mammon — 17
leviathan — 20
satan — 34
asmodeus — 18
beelzebub — 19
belphegor — 20
diavolo — 15
barbatos — 22 (slowly but surely making his way up there)
luke — 14 (i am so sorry you are below diavolo, dearest luke)
simeon — 40
solomon — 42, but nearly 43
“i wonder who their favorite is” gee guys thanks i do whatever i can for the sake of my mc's lore ♡ thank you very much /lh
as always, feel free to include dolasach for whatever reason you feel like if something i said reminded you of her hehe~
Whale nonnie!!! So good to see you!! I'm glad that you got to bounce back from whatever happened to you!! I hope it wasn't too bad and that you're fully okay now >w<
Oml the first question though
1. how did you first get into obey me?
THE WEDDING EVENT oough man I don't even recall how I ended up watching videos of the wedding event but I did and Satan's pulled me in so bad that I downloaded the game >.< flavor in the midst of atrocity is such a good way to describe the game dfhkdfg
Also??? Nonnie now I'm curious if I've ever seen your posts omg? I feel like you'd have such good posts on all three... I've got this feeling that I've probably seen a Satan post or that a Mephisto post of yours helped him rise up my ranks >.<
And I feel you so much on thinking he wouldn't really obsess over anything that simple, even more so to the point of it clouding his judgement and rendering him useless in important moments... Just so counter to the core of his character that aspires towards being well-rounded and useful? Anyway I'm trying to stay mostly positive here hdsdfg
16. what is your intimacy level with each character?
GOSH I had to check...
Lucifer - 24
Mammon - 11
Leviathan - 17
Satan - 33
Asmo - 16
Beel - 16
Belphie - 23
Diavolo - 18
Barbatos - 25
Solomon - 31 (only because it took forever to get a Solomon UR I liked the art of, otherwise he'd be the same as Satan lmao probably higher since you can actually get big hearts with him without gifts...)
Simeon - 23
Luke - 2 (dsfjkhsdf sorry I just never use any Luke cards and using him in Jobs feels weird bc ykno... child labor >.>;;)
Surprisingly representative of how much I enjoy their character...? Except that every brother + Simeon needs to be higher than the royals sdhfkjg Barb's bday UR is just too pretty to not use...
Nonnie I feel you with needing the levels for more lore... The calls!! I need the calls!! But it takes sooo fucking long to grind for intimacy
I feel like each time you drop by I get more and more shocked and curious about who you might be... I'm still listening a lot to the playlist you sent and each time I hear Bird Song I think about you suggesting it and what you said about Dola shdkfhdsfg insane really....
#chat & colloquy#🐳 nonnie!!#insane that youve been around that long tbh holy hell#<-saying that even tho one of my fav games/franchises i've been into more than half my life
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Lenny sensei's night class has begun!~♡
“Senpai~♡”
synopsis 💭;; Tanaka gets jealous bc some bitch talking to his man.
note 🖋️;; IT TOOK A WHOLE FUCKIN WEEK TO WRITE THIS. WHY DOES WORK ALWAYS PREVENT ME FROM DOING THE THINGS I LIKE? WHAT THE ACTUAL FU- by the way, ‘Isayama Misaki’ is based off of some asswipe I used to know- also, I ran out of ideas at the end, so it kinda cuts of lf at the good part. I apologize to the anon that requested this.
Requested by anon ♡
Male pronouns used
Tanaka wasn't a jealous man. Or at least he'd like to think so.
(Y/n) was pretty popular around campus, so it wasn't a surprise to see a few fangirls here or there. It kinda reminded him of Oikawa—except (Y/n) didn't exactly pay his fangirls any attention. (And he didn't have an ass as flat as printer paper.) But did that stop them from trying to get into his pants? No.
In all honesty, Ryu felt lucky that he had someone like (Y/n) as a boyfriend, although he didn't like the fangirls—who paid him no mind whenever they were together. It annoyed him that they kept surrounding (Y/n) who clearly wanted nothing to do with them, begging him for dates, one night stands, anything.
To say that Tanaka was mildly uncomfortable was an understatement.
🌇🌇
Today was a bit different. Instead of a crowd of women rushing towards (Y/n), it was just one—; Misaki Isayama. The woman (almost) every guy considered perfect. This was...manageable, but what did she want? Well—at least it was only one girl. He had only woken up a little over an hour ago, and wasn't exactly ready for his simps just yet.
“(L/n)-chan, can you help me study for the science exam that's coming up?”
“Just because you're my upperclassman, doesn't mean you can call me that.” (Y/n) said quietly, rubbing his eyes, then yawning. “I'm on my way to the lecture hall though, so maybe after that? I should be fully awake by then..”
Misaki smiled and nodded her head. “It's a date!”
“No. No it's not.”
🏙️🏙️
Tanaka let (Y/n) lean on him during the lecture. That turned into one sided cuddling from the sleepy man. Ryu thought it was cute how (Y/n) always clung to him when he was sleepy. He was a little sad when (Y/n) fully awoke, and let him go, but it was for the best.
“Oh, Ryu-san. I'm tutoring the rumored ‘perfect woman’, and it's gonna be awkward with just the two of us, so can y—”
“You headin to the library? I was on my way there anyway. I'll join ya.”
The (h/c) haired man nodded, and they both walked all the way to the other side of the schoolyard to the library building. Tanaka even held (Y/n)'s hand to flex on the girls they passed by. Some of the girls were noticeably annoyed or a little angry, which pleased him.
When they finally arrived, Misaki was standing by the door. Upon seeing Ryu, she scowled. But it was only for a second.
“Ah, (L/n)-kun..who's this?”
(Y/n) smiled, oblivious to Misaki and Tanaka glaring at each other. Needless to say, the intense atmosphere went right over his head. “This is my boyfriend..Tanaka. He'll be joining us if that's okay.”
“‘Perfect woman’ my ass..the only ‘perfect woman’ I know is Kiyoko-san.” Tanaka mumbled under his breath. (Y/n) may not have known, but Misaki and Tanaka were always competitive with each other. Other times he wouldn't have cared, but now that (Y/n) is what he's fighting for, he wasn't gonna back down.
“Oh, it's fine.” Misaki said through gritted teeth.
🏙️🏙️
Isayama and Tanaka were left sitting at a table alone, while (Y/n) searched for the science books. They sat in complete silence, but it was almost as if you could hear their thoughts—mentally arguing with one another.
(Y/n) returned with three books, seating himself between Isayama and Ryu. “Okay! Let's get started!”
***
As (Y/n) went on explaining the laws of physics (because Tetsurou used to tutor him), Misaki and Tanaka continued their epic staring battle. The battle ended once they noticed that (Y/n) had stopped talking. He was chewing his tongue in thought, trying to figure out how to pronounce a word.
Misaki didn't notice, but (Y/n) had gone from physics, to microbiology. In less than five minutes.
“Something wrong?”
“How do you say this word again..?” The (e/c) eyed man pointed to a bolded word in the textbook, leaning back a bit so the other two could see.
A suffocating silence reigned over the three of them, but only for about three seconds.
Isayama squinted a bit before she spoke. “Endothelial?”
“Oh yeah. Thanks, senpai.”
Isayama smiled smugly at Ryuunosuke. The said man had a visible tick mark (💢) on the side of his head, symbolizing his annoyance. Tanaka only wanted (Y/n) to call him ‘senpai’—even if they were the same age (if not, then (Y/n) might be older). It made him feel like he was a dependable upperclassman, maybe even a bit turned on in certain situations. But hearing (Y/n) call someone else senpai..made him a little sad.
His thoughts were interrupted by his phone vibrating. As Tanaka reached into his pocket to get his phone, he caught (Y/n) putting his own phone in his jacket pocket. Tanaka turned on his phone to see a message from (Y/n) in his recent notifications.
Pretty boy💖: Go to the bathroom. I'll join you later.
Although he was a bit confused, he got up from his chair. “‘M gonna go take a leak.” Ryu said as he started to make his way towards the men's restroom.
Almost five minutes pass before (Y/n) goes into the bathroom after Tanaka, telling Misaki that he was checking on him. As soon as (Y/n) had passed the first bathroom stall, he was yanked into the second one, the door locking almost immediately after it shut behind him. He wasn't given any time to react before he felt a familiar pair of soft lips violently smash against his own. (Not violent enough to make his mouth bleed or anything. Chill.)
A heated battle for dominance arose between the two, (Y/n) quickly taking the lead as he gently bit Ryu's lip.
They didn't want this to end, but eventually Tanaka had to break the kiss because he couldn't breathe. He stood there, breathless in his boyfriend's arms, not wanting (Y/n) to let go.
“Ryuunosuke..” Tanaka flinched upon his first name being said—even though (Y/n) said it many times before. His reaction brought a smile to (Y/n)'s face. “I love you~..” He said, drawing out the three words in a sing-song voice.
Ryu felt his legs getting weak, and held onto (Y/n) for dear life. (Somewhat out of fear that he might fall.) He wasn't actually feeling like this because of three words...right? “Babe..am I supposed to be kinda horny right now?” It was a bit of a strange question, but hey, it never hurts to ask.
(Y/n) chuckled. “Well, yeah. I might have to carry you out of here once we're done.” His warm smile from earlier didn't falter as he spoke.
‘How can he say something like that so casually? If I say something like that, I'd get d–’ Ryu's thoughts were snapped away when he felt his chest touch the stall divider and his pants being pulled down. He let out a soft moan as (Y/n) stroked him through his boxers.
🏙️
‘What the hell is taking them so long?!’ Isayama got up from where she sat, and went to the men's bathroom. There wasn't anyone around, so no one would see her going in. She opened the first stall's door. ‘If they ditched me, I swear to go–’
“W-Wait, (Y/n)!~ Haa!~♡”
“Geez senpai, you're so wet inside~..♡”
Misaki froze. She couldn't be sure that it was (Y/n) and Tanaka in there—but those were definitely Tanaka's pants hanging over the second stall's door. Now she felt more..curious than angry. Isayama slipped into the first stall, carefully and quietly closing the door behind her, and slowly locking it so it didn't make noise.
Ryu tried to keep his breathing steady as (Y/n) fucked him with his fingers—even though that did absolutely nothing to help his current situation. Hell, he couldn't even process words anymore. The only actual word he could say was his boyfriend's name. He eventually remembered how to speak after about two minutes of being finger-fucked.
He wanted to sound more demanding, but his voice came out more whiny than what he'd have liked it to. “Fuck me already..ya fuckin– Hng!~” It may have been that he couldn't process it, or that (Y/n) had moved at the speed of sound, but Tanaka wasn't able to register how fast (Y/n) pulled his fingers out, and shoved his cock into his still tight hole. He wanted to say something, but all that came out was a choked whine.
“You were saying?~♡” (Y/n) asked, though it sounded more like a demand than a question.
Tanaka wasn't given a chance to answer due to (Y/n) ruthlessly fucking the poor man senseless. His loud whines and moans echoed throughout the bathroom, much to (Y/n)'s pleasure. He wanted everyone to know that he was a taken man. He wanted everyone on campus to hear Ryuunosuke's pleasurable cries.
Hearing the two men fucking in the next stall turned Isayama on to no end. (Even though it was more of (Y/n)'s voice that made her wet.) But she resisted touching herself because she wouldn't be able to forgive herself if she masturbated to her rival getting fucked. (A kinda stupid reason, but okay.)
“Fu–fuck, (Y/n)!~ So good..it feels so good!~” Ryu babbled, the words almost incoherent as he attempted to push back against his boyfriend's cock. “More!~ Give me more!~♡” He begged, voice broken and choking on his own breath.
The (e/c) eyed man didn't say a word. As his senpai had politely asked of him, (Y/n) drove his cock so deep into Tanaka that the said man let out the loudest drawn out moan (Y/n) had ever heard from him. If it weren't for the cum spewing from the teary eyed man, (Y/n) would've thought he had hurt his lover. He wasn't entirely sure until he felt Ryu continue to push back against him, desperate for more friction.
“Aww..you're so cute when you act like a bitch in heat, senpai~..♡”
He only got a choked whine in response.
“I'm pretty close anyway..do you want it inside?~♡” (Y/n) asked, pulling the shaky man up to his chest. Again, only a whine. (Y/n) parted Ryu's lips with his fingers, those fingers soon being coated in saliva. “Use your words~..”
Finally, Tanaka spoke, despite his unintentional dry heaving. “Fuck me- please~..”
“As you wish~♡” (Y/n) almost whispered, gripping Tanaka's cock firmly, earning another broken moan from the said man. “You're the only person I'd fuck like this, you know that, right?” He said, as he rubbed the shorter man's stomach.
“Y-Yeah..that makes me happy~..”
Lmao this was like- 80% highschool drama (in a college setting), and the remaining 20% being me getting horny for no reason. Also, I'm aware this made no sense. None of the stuff I write makes sense. :)
The class session is now over!~♡
#tanaka x reader#tanaka x male reader#haikyuu x male reader#anime x male reader#m!reader#x male reader#top male reader#seme male reader#ryuunosuke x reader
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Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)
Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.
I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???
(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)
CW for sex talk (again)
How does one get over purity culture?
Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.
Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.
According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.
Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.
You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.
The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.
Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.
Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)
Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.
*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).
#purity culture#sex talk#christianity#sex and relationships#sex and religion#mylife#answered asks#aspec#cw sex
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[M] - PhysCom - Pt 7
pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3 - bc 1 - pt 4 - pt 5 - pt 6 - pt 7
Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader
Rating: Mature [18+]
Length: 5.4k words
Genre: PhysCom AU - smut with dashes of angst, and a shitload of romance and complicated feelings,, uhuhu (porn with plot??)
Warnings: swearing, a lot of emotional turmoil, talk of pregnancy scares (birth control, contraceptives, etc.), implied discrimination towards sex workers (not by any of the boys dw), mentions of sexual acts
slowly hands you a cake that says "I haven't updated this fic in 14 months and I don't know when the next part is coming but here's an update thanks for being patient" in comic sans
-------
The rush to the hospital goes by in a blur of tears and shouting and panic and questions that you can't bring yourself to answer. The only constant is Min Yoongi's hand, firmly locked in your own throughout the ordeal, tethering you to reality.
You now sit in a private room on a sterile medical table and wait to be seen, too numb inside to feel the sting of the cold metal as it cuts into the backs of your thighs. Yoongi stands beside you, still holding your hand, his fingers are laced through yours and squeezing as if it could sap away the fear that eats away your insides, leaving you hollow and empty.
"It'll be alright. Don't worry about a damn thing, okay?" He shifts his weight anxiously, betraying his own underlying worries.
You barely remember him throwing his jacket over you before being rushed out of the house, and you don't feel deserving of the modest coverage. Though the leather is worn and soft against your skin, all you can feel is the harsh metallic zipper, scratching at your chest as though reminding you of your wrongdoings.
"Yoongi…" you start to say, but he cuts you off, his voice a hoarse whisper.
"Don't you fucking dare. Don't apologize."
You feel tears well up in your eyes. Your chest grows tight with the words he's forbidden you to say.
"I've already called Namjoon, it'll all be fine. Don't worry." He works his jaw and rubs your hand with surprising tenderness, glancing to the little window in the door every other second.
He's been assuring you with those same words for the past half hour, but it feels like it's been an eternity. As you glance at the clock on the wall, watching the hands tick by, you imagine a scene like that of a health documentary. Tiny sperm, swimming up your insides… fertilizing your previously dormant eggs.
Fuck. You've fucked up.
You might be pregnant with Min Yoongi's child. Your Opticon birth control implant could send you into toxic shock at any moment.
You don't see how things can get much worse than this.
The door finally opens, and what appears to be a nurse steps inside. She holds a clipboard, and examines it while she lets the door close behind her. "Let's see now, Miss..." Her shoulders slump marginally as her eyes reach your name. "Oh, right. The PhysCom."
You don't have the energy to ignore the change in her tone from friendly to disinterested, and simply nod. However, you feel Yoongi stiffen beside you.
The nurse lets out a brief sigh and dons a professional expression. "So, what appears to be the problem?" She directs the question to Yoongi.
"We think her birth control implant isn't working." Yoongi explains, his eyes darting furtively between you and the nurse. "She, um… she reached orgasm."
You flush at the memory, ashamed of your failure to adhere to even the most basic of rules set before you.
The nurse makes a noncommittal noise and jots something down. "Says here it’s an Opticon. And you didn't turn it off, sir?"
He shakes his head.
The nurse touches the end of her pen to her mouth, a note of sympathy forming in her eyes. Not for you, but for Yoongi. "How long have you had her?"
"Excuse me?" Yoongi raises an eyebrow.
The nurse tucks the clipboard under her arm, giving him a weary, patient smile. “With PhysComs, we have a list of probable scenarios we’re supposed to check for, to better inform the doctor of the situation, and speed along the treatment process.”
She barely spares you a glance before returning her attention to Yoongi, her voice lowered just a fraction. “It’s not uncommon for newly hired female PhysComs to try and… well, intentionally get pregnant from their clients. Especially if those clients have any amount of wealth or status.”
Yoongi seems lost for words.
She nods as if to agree with his surprise. “It’s some psychosis associated with the job,” she says with a shrug, then straightens her posture once more. “So has she been acting strangely at all? What are her symptoms?”
Your ears burn a bit at being talked about like you’re not in the room, but this isn’t the first time you’ve been in such a position. Oftentimes checkups during training were the same way, the physicians would speak exclusively among themselves and Madame while they examined every inch of you, inside and out.
Yoongi, however, is not used to such an experience.
“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” He says, in a voice much calmer than you would have expected. But one glance at his face tells you all you need to know. His eyes are burning like hot coals. Molten and dangerous.
The nurse doesn’t pick up on his irritation, and busily flips through the pages on her clipboard. “I need reliable information, sir. If you please,” she prompts him.
You can feel Yoongi’s hand clench around yours, and you turn to quiet him.
“It’s okay,” you murmur, hoping to reassure him enough so he’ll talk to her, but he stands his ground, his eyes glued on the nurse.
“Get out,” Yoongi says.
The nurse does a double take. “Excuse me, sir?”
“I said get the fuck out of here.” He points to the door. “Send us someone who will actually help.”
She fumes silently for a moment, but decides not to argue with him, and heads for the door in a huff.
Yoongi scoffs as you two are left alone once more. “What the fuck kind of bedside manner was that supposed to be?” He mutters, staring at the door.
“It’s okay.” You place a hand on his arm.
“No, it’s not.” He’s adamant, and you sigh wearily. How do you explain that this is only what can be expected?
You pick out a few haphazard words from the maelstrom in your brain, too tired to find the best phrasing. “Medical personnel… they don’t really get it.”
“Get what?” He asks, turning to you in outrage. “Being a fucking decent human being?”
You flinch, withdrawing your hand. You’re too tired to try and get your point across. But he notices you wilt and immediately comes closer, lowering his voice and placing both his hands on your arms. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, the edge of anger fading away to gentleness. Kindness. “What do you mean?”
You sigh, looking off to the side. You don’t deserve to have him look at you like that.
You carefully remove his hands, trying to maintain some semblance of a professional distance, even in the face of disaster. “Most hospitals don’t look favorably at PhysComs. We were given a few lectures about it in training. We use up their resources and time that could instead be given to patients who didn’t willingly put themselves at risk.”
You remember how your fellow trainees had reacted after those discussions. Many of them found the treatment to be unfair, but you yourself felt that, in a way, the medical field’s viewpoint was reasonable. Your choices are what landed you here.
“What the- what are you talking about?” He huffs, still seemingly in the dark. “You didn’t ask for this… this scare. It wasn’t your fault.” He tries to meet your eyes, but your gaze is fixed firmly to the linoleum floor.
A mirthless smile paints your lips. “But I chose this life. And these risks along with it.”
Before he can question you further, the door bursts open and Kim Namjoon enters the room, both his dress shirt and his hair are rumpled, and his eyes are frantic. “Sweetheart?” He rushes to your side and crushes you in a hug. “Are you alright?”
You hear Yoongi let out a breath of relief. “She’s okay, for the moment.”
Something about the way Namjoon holds you feels like a lamp being held against your cold skin. You’re too damp inside to light a flame yourself, but his own body warms you from the outside in the meantime. You want to let yourself enjoy it, but the memory of your unresolved questions leaves you limp in his arms, filled with nothing but misery and confusion.
He pulls back after a moment, checking you over for signs of injury. His eyes are wide with concern. “What happened? Tell me everything.”
A flare of shame rises up in you at the notion of telling Namjoon about your rule-breaking and everything that occured since this morning.
Thankfully, Yoongi seems to sense your hesitance, and he fills in most of the pieces for Namjoon. Namjoon’s expression remains stoic as Yoongi recounts what happened - you being brought home unconcious, seducing Yoongi - up until the mention of your orgasm. Namjoon’s jaw slackens slightly at this, and his eyes scan your face, searching for something.
It’s at this moment that the doctor walks in, a different nurse at his side. He’s a slightly older man, a few wrinkles creasing his brow, and a smile that appears kind until it lands on you. His face is then tinged with that same indifference that most medical professionals give you.
You wish it was your usual physician, but since this was an emergency, you didn’t have time to take the trip to your usual practice. Whatever hospital is nearest, that’s what Yoongi had told the driver.
The man turns to Namjoon, who arguably commands more presence than Yoongi, and the kindness returns. “Sorry for the delay. Busy night. From what I understand, your PhysCom has malfunctioned, is that correct?”
“Her Opticon malfunctioned, yes.” Namjoon corrects him. His diplomatic tendencies are a blessing right now. You just want to know if you’re pregnant or not. You want to know if you’re losing your job. You want to go home.
The doctor runs a few physical tests on you, feeling your breasts, peering down your throat, and examining your vaginal canal, checking for any other symptoms of malfunction from your Opticon. “All’s well so far.” He says, pulling his forefingers out of you, snapping off his gloves, and disposing of them. “May I take a look at the ComGear?”
You feel a flash of panic, waking you out of your stupor. Fuck, was it still in the group chat? You pull out the slim device, heart hammering as you check. Nope. Just settings. Thank god.
You hand it over, and then remember with a looming feeling of dread exactly why it might have been left on the settings page...
“You do so much for us, jagiya.” Taehyung keeps his hands braced on your arms, his thumb rubbing gently against your skin. “You’re always there for us. Always giving… Now it’s time for you to receive.”
“I’m sorry! It’s my fault-” Jimin’s eyes fall to your compromising position, Yoongi’s dick still out, your leaking core exposed, and claps a hand over his mouth. He looks like he might cry. “Oh no...”
The pieces fall into place, and there’s no doubt in your mind. They must have switched it off.
But why? Why, why, why…?
The doctor - you’re too frazzled to read his nametag - pulls out a pair of reading glasses and takes a look at your ComGear, poking around the device with his pointer finger. “Hm. Strange.” He squints. “The Opticon does appear to be switched off.”
Namjoon blinks. “That’s impossible.”
“I’m afraid that’s the case.” The doctor shows him the setting, the toggle very much in the off position. Namjoon takes the device and looks at it in shock.
The doctor coughs. “I know that, um… for some individuals, the temptation and the… risk associated with no protection during intercourse can be sexually arousing. It’s not the first time we’ve gotten a case like this.”
He removes his glasses, folding them back into his pocket. “However, I would remind you and anyone else who uses this one’s services that although Physical Companions may be virtually expendable, it can become quite expensive for your own sake to impregnate them on a whim, using and discarding them, what with the standard fees for breaching their contract and-”
“Thank you, Doctor.” Namjoon interrupts him, and you notice the iron grip he now has on Yoongi’s arm. Likely the only thing restraining him from throwing a punch. “We’ll be more careful.” Namjoon glances at you, confusion making a little crease between his brows. “Is there some sort of morning after pill she can take, or…?”
“I’m afraid the lingering effects of the Opticon implant render any outside hormone blockers ineffective.” The doctor says, his smile turning thin. “It’s a bit of a blessing and a curse. The hormone production and ovulation suppressant in the Opticon normally make the chance of fertilization zero percent while in use. After it’s switched off, chances are still fairly low at 30 percent, for up to 24 hours. But the chances of fertilization after taking a morning after pill are significantly lower than that, at only five percent.”
He shrugs. “We’ll just have to wait and see. Chances are, your PhysCom will be right as rain and ready to pleasure clients again in about a week.”
A week.
First a week of suspension on Namjoon’s terms… Now it’s on medical advisement.
“A week? What should we do until then?” Namjoon voices your very thoughts, Yoongi seething silently beside him.
“Well, we won’t have any results until three to five days from now.” The man clarifies. “But I highly recommend you leave the implant switched off and keep her on traditional contraceptives until we know for sure. I strongly recommend utilizing other PhysComs in the meantime, just to be safe.”
You’re finished.
The doctor hands Namjoon a paper bag, most likely containing birth control pills and condoms. “She may be somewhat volatile for the next few days. You can bring her in for another checkup in a week.”
You’re weak.
“Thank you.”
You’re numb.
-------
It was a silent car ride back to the house, and as Namjoon helps you step out of the vehicle, one hand holding yours for stability while the other rests on your lower back, you can’t help feeling utterly useless. Detached from your surroundings.
What’s the point of any of this now? There’s no way they’ll want to use you until this is resolved. You’re of no use to them as a sex toy until at least a week from now, and by then it’ll be far too late to earn their favor back.
“We need to have a meeting. Call the others into the living room.” Namjoon speaks to Yoongi in an undertone, and you feel a small ache of hope. Maybe things will work out if everyone just talks to each other.
But when you enter the house and Namjoon begins to steer you upstairs, you finally find your voice.
“No.” You resist against him, turning around at the base of the stairs. “No, I want to be part of the meeting.”
The surprise quickly fades from his face, instead turning to concern. “You need to rest."
Something about the look on his face, about being told yet again through his actions that this doesn’t concern you, it causes something inside you to snap, your apathy vanishing in the wake of this new beast beginning to rear its ugly head within you.
Your throat closes up and a scream erupts from your aching chest. "You don't know what I need!"
Namjoon matches your desperation with an infuriatingly patient look of sympathy. He approaches you, his hand outstretched, but you stagger back away from him. He smiles sadly and drops his hand. "Stay here. It's what's best for you."
What's best for you.
The words throb in your mind, like the memory of an old wound. They bounce listlessly off the walls of your grandiose prison long after Namjoon shuts the door, sealing you away again.
You don't know what comes over you as you see visions of launching yourself at the door, pounding and scratching at the wood like a wild animal.
You could just open the door and follow him downstairs. Some part of you does register that.
But you want them to hear you. You want them to hear you rip your throat raw as you exorcise your demons.
You blink and you're standing still.
You haven't moved.
Your spacious room feels stifling. Like the walls are closing in on you, suffocating you.
Silken ropes sway in the dusk, catching your eye from beyond the balcony window. Your escape route from earlier that day.
You don't think twice before stuffing a few meager belongings into the long forgotten backpack kicked beneath your bed.
You need to leave this place.
You can't stay here.
-------
It had started drizzling not long after you left the house, and even now as you sit on the damp curbside, waiting for the next bus to take you far away from this place, it strikes you as funny, in a way, that the weather is crying for you, since you can't muster any tears of your own.
It's cold and misty, a foreboding atmosphere, by all accounts. It makes you question if what you're about to do is the right call.
But you shut down the arguments in your head as quickly as they appear.
Second guessing was what had gotten you into this situation. You need to follow your instincts.
And your instincts are telling you to flee.
It won't be so bad, you try to convince yourself. After the first night on the road, you'll eventually find a new town, a new home, a new place for yourself in this fucked up world. You've done it before, you can do it again.
You're considering suitable aliases for your new persona, when you sense another person approaching, their shoes tramping through the wet grass.
You don't look up at them, hoping they'll pass by and leave you alone. But they come to a stop beside you.
You keep your gaze on the road, droplets rippling the puddled potholes.
Then the stranger goes to sit on the curb too, and you can't help but look at them.
You'd recognize those lips anywhere, even beneath a baggy hooded sweatshirt.
"It's a bit late to run errands, don't you think?" Seokjin says, pulling his sleeves down to keep out the chill as he perches beside you.
He glances at you, then looks ahead at the road, the same way you were. You return your gaze forward, too exhausted to make a run for it. Though you don't get the sense that he would chase after you, even if you tried to escape.
Maybe that's exactly why you decide to stay put, but you don't give the suspicion any more thought.
"What do you want?" You finally ask, your voice croaky from being silent for so long.
"Nothing."
"Liar," you mutter, hugging your knees to your chest. "Everyone wants something."
He chuckles. Rests back on his hands. "I guess you're right about that."
Damn right you are. You didn't study the human condition through your years of training to be fooled so easily by pretty words.
"So?" You prompt him, still staring at the dreary horizon.
He takes a moment to respond. The silence is punctuated by the distant noises of traffic, an occasional car passing by, its headlights shimmering in the mist before disappearing down the road.
“The others are all out looking for you, you know,” he says simply. “Why do you think that is?”
If it were anyone else that had run away - their manager, a friend - you know what the answer would be. Because they care about that person. But how can you believe that about yourself, when you know you can never amount to anyone with that level of importance to them?
Ironic, since you’re the person with which they can be most intimate and vulnerable.
“I’m a liability,” you reply halfheartedly.
His silence serves to confirm your suspicions. A runaway PhysCom? Far too risky for a group at their level. You could become one of those anonymous sources like you saw in the news. A firsthand account of the BTS members’ secret sexual urges. Unacceptable. Snatches of words from the NDA you signed buzz around the edges of your mind like stray flies.
But since you're no longer connected to your network, then your tracker is probably disconnected. If the bus had come just a little earlier, you might already have escaped without a trace.
“You really think that’s the only reason?” Seokjin’s voice pulls you back to the moment.
His abysmal attempt to divert from the problem gets a hollow laugh out of you.
“Any other reason has ulterior motives. It’s just business.” You check the time on your ComGear. The bus should be here any minute. “I’m leaving, and I won’t let you stop me.”
“I don’t intend to,” he agrees, to your surprise. “God knows you’ve been put through enough.” He then leans forward, resting his forearms across his legs. “But for what it’s worth, you deserve to know the truth.”
Your ears perk up at this.
Seokjin seems to take your silence as permission to continue. “The reason we decided to suspend you. It wasn’t… entirely selfless.”
You purse your lips in irritation and fix your gaze upon the horizon, settling your chin beneath your crossed arms. “Right. Ulterior motives, like I said.”
He clicks his tongue. “Touche.”
You wait for him to continue, but he doesn't.
Your curiosity gets the better of you.
“So, what… were you planning to replace me?” You ask, trying to sound contemptuous. “I heard you all having your little group meeting in the kitchen. There are plenty of shiny new whores at your disposal, take your pick.”
He still makes no noise.
You wait, preparing to accept a bitter confirmation of all your fears.
But then he finds his voice. “We could never replace you, dear.”
You stop. Look over at him. His eyes are half lidded, his smile bittersweet as he stares off into the distance. After a few moments, he fishes around in his pocket and pulls something out, then hands it to you.
His smartphone.
“Here,” he murmurs, sympathy in the quirk of his lips. “In case you need to call anyone. Those devices they give you don’t have a cell plan, I assume.”
He seems to sense your wariness, and waves the phone a bit in a gesture of insistence. “I can buy a dozen new ones. It’s no trouble.”
You very hesitantly take it. “Thanks.”
Of course, he has no way to know that your ComGear is now jailbroken, for all intents and purposes. But… is this a trap? What if there’s a tracker in the phone? But why would he need to put a tracker in it if he doesn’t know your ComGear is off the grid?
The rumble of an approaching motor pulls you out of your cyclical thoughts, and you get on your feet, slowly coming out of your dissociative sulk.
But you still feel numb. Nothing matters anymore.
Nothing at all.
Jin gets up along with you, slipping his hands into his hoodie pocket. “Stay safe, alright?”
You give a brief nod of acknowledgment, only half in his direction as you shrug your bag onto your shoulder more securely. The hydraulics of the bus screech as the vehicle comes to a stop and lowers slightly, allowing you to step onboard.
You glance back, fully expecting Jin to stop you. But he doesn’t. He blinks raindrops out of his eyes while you board, and gives you a small smile once the doors close behind you. He lifts a hand in farewell, then turns and starts to walk away down the street.
He’s really letting you go.
You pay your fare and find a seat towards the back of the nearly empty bus. Rain pelts at the windows, picking up in earnest, and it feels like yet another layer, another barrier, separating yourself and creating an ever-growing chasm from the life you knew up until yesterday.
You pull out Jin’s phone, staring at the dark screen and wiping away stray raindrops from the surface with your sleeve. Why had he come to find you, if not to stop you?
“But for what it’s worth, you deserve to know the truth.”
Maybe he felt guilty. Or remorseful for the hell you’ve been put through recently. You would normally have felt immense satisfaction at such a thought.
But you can’t feel much of anything right now.
You don’t think you’ll be able to feel properly again. At least not for a long, long time…
Hm? The screen lit up. You must have pressed a button by accident. You swipe at it again, and to your surprise it unlocks. Who doesn’t put a passcode on their phone?
Is it possible… he disabled it before he gave it to you? Maybe. Whatever. You’re so tired of thinking, playing investigator and second guessing people’s motivations.
You scroll over to the phone icon, and tap on it, briefly considering calling your parents. But the wetness on your fingers messes with the touchscreen and you open the messages app instead.
You’re about to wipe the screen and try again, but… the most recent messages are… all about you. You tap on the group chat among the seven of them, currently bustling with activity.
[ Kim Namjoon ]: has anyone found her
[ Park Jimin ]: hyung I’m so sorry
[ Park Jimin ]: it’s all my fault
[ Min Yoongi ]: she’s not at the studio
[ Kim Namjoon ]: we’ll talk about it later Jimin
[ Kim Namjoon ]: everyone keep looking
[Jeon Jungkook]: manager said they can call her network to track her down
[Kim Taehyung ]: should we do that?
[ Jung Hoseok ]: no! she could get in trouble :(
[ Min Yoongi ]: she’s not a stray pet
[ Kim Namjoon ]: exactly
[ Kim Namjoon ]: we need to keep this quiet for her sake
[Kim Taehyung ]: she hasn’t replied to my texts or calls
[ Min Yoongi ]: me neither
[Jeon Jungkook]: hyung... will she be okay?
[ Kim Namjoon ]: everything will be fine don’t worry
[ Kim Namjoon ]: we’re going to fix this somehow
[ Min Yoongi ]: whatever it takes
[ Jung Hoseok ]: where could she have gone...
[ Park Jimin ]: what if she doesn’t come back?
You scroll further up, past days and weeks and months of texts between them… not even a day between mentions of you. Wondering if you’re alright. Hoping you’ve eaten enough. Wanting to do more with you.
The thread of texts Jimin sent to Seokjin just yesterday.
Hyung I wish things were different
I want to hold her
I want to tell her she’s enough
I wish I could kiss her…
I think I love her
Do you ever feel that way?
And Seokjin’s reply.
I do
I know just what you mean
Why do you think I turned those secondaries away last night, hm?
No one can compare
She really is special…
He didn’t… fuck the secondaries? After you broke at dinner, he… didn’t...?
You switch to his thread with Namjoon from a few days ago.
I know you’re our leader but I don’t think this is the way to go
You need to be more cautious
Namjoon’s reply.
What we need is action, hyung
If we work together on this, we could get rid of these unnecessary rules
We could all have what we want
Including her
It’s what’s best for everyone
Seokjin took several minutes to reply.
You’re going to lose her.
Jin knew. He tried to talk Namjoon out of writing that stupid essay, or maybe it was about your suspension.
Either way, he defended you.
You open his thread with Hoseok. Dimly, you recognize that you shouldn’t be snooping, but you’re too absorbed to stop.
Hyung, I think she really wants this
All of us ♡
I don’t know how, but we need to show her that it’s okay
That we want it just as much
How do you know that’s what she wants?
I can’t say ♡
But I know now
She wouldn’t reject us
Our feelings
She feels something too
The date and time lines up with this morning. The morning after he made love to you.
He didn’t tell them. He kept your secret.
“Our feelings”? What does he mean? Him, Jimin, Taehyung… Seokjin? Do they all…?
Your head spins, the hollowness of your heart filling with a rush of jumbled emotions, like a tide crashing in. All your numbness is washed out with light, just a pinprick at first, that grows rapidly into a ray of warmth as you consider what all this could mean. The chasm starts to narrow, and you get the urge to jump ship, to turn back and figure this shit out. To know once and for all what they want from you. What you mean to them.
But how can you trust this isn’t a trap? How can you be sure?
The answer is as simple as they come.
You can’t.
You can’t be absolutely certain that their intentions are pure… that this is the right thing to do… that you won’t be hurt again.
But maybe... trust isn’t about being infallible. Being right. Being sure.
Maybe it’s built on what ifs. On trying again, even with no guarantees.
Guarantees are only as good as their word, and talk is cheap. Lies are easy. Your Opticon had a 100% guarantee, and look where that got you.
But you remember the way Hoseok held you that night, and made love to you like you’ve never felt in your life... When Jimin kissed his way down your body, with only the best of intentions. Namjoon’s strong arms embracing you when you felt powerless. Yoongi’s hand never leaving yours, even while you waited in the hospital. Jungkook carrying you home after you fainted, breaking your door to make sure you were safe in bed. The look in Taehyung’s eyes when he finally kissed you, breaking the ice you’d been growing around your heart.
How Seokjin let you go.
Maybe...
You get up with a start, rush to the front of the bus, and hastily ask the driver to let you off, much to the old man’s disgruntlement, but the moment the doors whoosh open, you take off at a run.
You want to go home.
You want to try again.
No matter how much you try to bury it, to forget the way they make you feel, you care about them. All of them. On a much deeper level than that of a PhysCom and client. And it scares you.
But you’re done running from fear. From uncertainty.
Now you’re running towards it willingly, as you give chase down the torrential streets, searching for that familiar hooded figure and hoping you’re not too late. You’re embracing the doubt, the fear, the uncertainty, the paranoia... letting their shadowy claws sink into you until they can’t hurt you anymore. Until they fade away, cowering under the glow of your determination.
You’re setting some new rules for yourself, no longer letting fear control your thoughts and actions, barring you from any chance of happiness.
You see Seokjin in the distance, trudging home through the pouring rain. You run faster.
You’re fucking terrified. But you’ve never felt so free in your life.
“Jin!” You shout to get his attention, still a block away. He turns around, and shakes his head, seemingly confused, but a smile starts to appear. You smile too.
Finally, you catch up to him, and without warning, you throw your arms around his shoulders. Damn, he’s always taller than you remember.
He laughs, shocked by your change of heart. “What are you doing?”
“I want to hear you say it.” You reply, looking up at him as rain dashes down your face. You don’t know when you started crying, but you’re grateful to the weather for masking your tears.
“Say what?” He asks, his hands resting on your waist to support you. Thunder rumbles in the distance, rain sliding down his perfect face.
“How you feel about me.” You reply, studying his eyes. “Be honest.”
He seems to sense the gravity in your words. He holds you closer. His eyes soften.
“I think I’ve fallen in love with you.”
For the first time since all of this started, you sense no deception in his words, no double meaning, no hidden agenda.
Because you aren’t searching for reasons to doubt this time.
You’re searching for reasons to trust, and you find them.
You want to kiss him. So you do.
#bts#bts smut#bts fanfic#bts x reader smut#bts x reader#bts fanfiction#bts ot7#bts ot7 smut#bts smut fic#bts fic rec#yoongi x reader#namjoon x reader#seokjin x reader#thank you all for waiting ;w;
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a discussion of jabberwock with team interaction hcs + deeper nash analysis
for anon who asked "Can we get some headcanons for jabberwock members or like headcanons when they're together? (its okay if it was jason or nash only)" and made me realise it's about time i get these guys' personalities down
note before we start: cause i didn't know their names until i wrote this
zack is the bald one, allen is the one with a headband, nick is the other white guy apart from nash.
team hcs
nick gets bullied for being under 6ft, but not by jason
nah good old jason teases all of them for being short fucks, emphasising that they’re all 5ft tall in comparison to him
he 100% lifts things out of the others' reach and then laughs for ages after when they try get them
unfortunately though, they’re all used to this and now just ignore him. either that or nash stares at him so intensely jason actually repents and hands it back
zack’s another one with a very good glare, but he’s used it too often on jason and it’s since stopped working.
also jason gives me ‘straightens his back as much as possible when getting measured so he’ll measure in as 7ft’ vibes
oh and he thinks he could wrestle a gator and win. i’ve got no explanation for that except for the fact you can't tell me it's ooc.
allen’s very protective over his white headband - it’s his lucky item - but he’d never let anyone know that
he’s confident in his abilities like the rest of them, but there’s nothing wrong with wearing a headband just in case
(nash knows anyway)
they watch nba matches together and do not shut up once throughout the entire match - lots of jeering, booing each other if someone criticises a player they like, lots of “i could do that”, lots of “get your fucking hand out of my popcorn do you want me to punch you in the face” etc
they used to all live together, but nash has since moved out. he was sick and tired of trying to make people do chores, as the only one who kept their room clean.
yeah the others’ house looks like a heap of trash but also very much “where’s my toothbrush?” “it’s in the third coke can by the orange peel behind the sink” *silence* “yeah thanks” *a minute later* “who the fuck has been using my toothbrush”
they’re all “bro your dribbling sucks why are you on this team loser” to one another, but also very protective (aka arrogant for one another) if anyone else Dared to criticise one of their teammates
then again, what kind of person would criticise jabberwock
half of the time he spends with jabberwock, nash is a Single Mother TM trying to get a bunch of man children to behave; the other half of the time, he's just as bad as the rest of them
i talk about this a lot but i get the feeling nash is an exceptionally hard worker, but at least he gets to let his hair down around his teammates sometimes
nash is also the only person jason thought was truly ‘strong’ at first sight
and nash is also the only person who can beat jason in a fight, and also the only person who can get nash to train, and also the only person who can.. [etc. you see my point].
(n.b jason calls himself the ‘almighty me’, nash says that ‘even god can’t beat me’. point made.)
you know how jason silver’s motto is “I have never thought”
imagine him proudly stating that, before zack adds with a straight face, “yeah cause nash does it for you.”
in short, the team would fall apart without nash.
although the team’s communication and coordination is very fine tuned, nash is the guy who keeps everything in order off the court to prevent what is essentially a team of aces ('main characters', if you will) from falling apart
they hang out together a lot, but do all have other friend groups that do not overlap
team bbqs
unofficial rule not to criticise anchovies on pizza because the one time nick did, nash snapped
however pineapple on pizza is fair game, even though zack quite likes it
more than once, jason has brought a girl home and nick has stolen her attention away with effortless trick shots, funky ball manoeuvring etc
more than once nick has had to trek to nash’s place (with a black eye) at midnight to have somewhere to sleep
do you see a correlation?
oh and everyone in the team has been walked in on by nash when they were naked with some girl
nash has absolutely no shame
he apologises to the girl with a charming albeit insincere tone, and then remains standing in front of the bed/couch until his teammate does what he expected of them
usually it involves not having come to practice
allen learnt a few (emphasis on ‘few’) words of japanese before they travelled to japan and was disappointed that he never got to use them
that said, one of those words was hentai
and now a quick analysis of some panels
a) so there's at least one player who wasn't underestimating vorpal swords. if i were to overanalyse, i'd add that nick's wearing a hoodie (possibly athletic wear) whilst nash has a 'fancy' shirt on; perhaps nick wasn't expecting them to be going to host clubs instead of chilling/training?
b) i know what you're thinking: "how can you say nash is a hard worker when he didn't want to practice for the match". i reckon he was still pretty high on the complete and utter success of their previous match, that plus being around girls, encouraged him to have a more 'jason-y' personality. (either that or fujimaki didn't want to add too much depth/realism into nash's character bc he's unequivocally the villain, right? and obviously this helps with the plot and the jabberwock bad geniuses gom good geniuses rhetoric.)
earlier, i mentioned how nash is the only one that could keep the team together, and is thus the undeniable head of the team; here's a clear example. you can see both jason and zack have no interest in continuing - if anything, there's disgust in their faces, kinda just saying "we spat on all of japan, now we can go home". whereas nash won't allow for the slightest of possibilities that there might exist a team stronger than them, and hence agrees to the match. the key thing here is that the others do as he says without too much fuss.
another thing to note is nash's reference to harakiri. now what can we make of that, alongside his proficiency in japanese, in relation to his character? the way i see it, he's either a weeb or possibly has some japanese lineage. (you could spin that even further and say his mother was japanese, taught him the language, then abandoned him, and hence his almost excessive hatred/mockery of the japanese people.) (is that why he wanted to do another match in japan..?)
just a quick point. "thanks to him" - jason isn't so superior as to think that he could win this match effortlessly without nash's support. links pretty nicely with my earlier idea about how nash is the only person jason has always considered 100% strong.
yet another point about how nash is the strongest of the team in pretty much every way you can think of. you know how scary/powerful you have to be to shut jason up (after he's getting real pissed from being prevented from scoring?)
i personally think this is a pretty important panel, though i've never seen anyone mention it before. did nash grow up training in a professional basketball training situation, as opposed to growing up playing streetball like i suspect the others did? well, to answer that question, imma bring in another panel.
here we see visible rage on nick, zack and jason's faces - they can't accept their loss, which is fair enough. but i'd argue that nash's face seems to depict sadness more than it does anger like to rest of them, look at how downturned his mouth is - and he's looking away from the 'camera', as if hiding his shame.
when you combine that with what he says here, i have no doubt that this is someone who has experienced some proper lows in basketball - as would be expected from someone who's played 'properly'. he's possibly not even a prodigy like the rest of them - compare jason's motto with his. "i have never thought" versus "do not suppose opportunity will knock twice at your door".
there's various lines of thinking you could design with this - he might have been trained by alex (hence, himuro having heard of jabberwock, though he should have known of a team as popular of jabberwock regardless), he might have grown up with professional basketballer parents etc. but here's my own little theory:
nash received serious basketball training from early on - maybe because his parents were living vicariously through him, or maybe he always loved the sport and wanted to be no1. so there he was training away, but, as he grew older, it started getting all a bit too much.
he didn't want to dedicate his entire life to basketball. after all, his hobby is water sports and his speciality is boxing; that's a lot of different things to be keeping up with, whereas the pipeline for promising athletes demands people focus solely on basketball. as a result, nash become bitter: stopped attending practice regularly, got in trouble for trash talk of increasing severity, etc.
result was he was kicked out of the program.
only when he was no longer playing basketball again, did he realise how much he missed it. and hence he got into streetball, where he was tremendously successful as someone with so much training, 'elite skills', and the overly confident attitude to boot.
then, one fateful day, he met jason and the rest is history.
#jabberwock deserved some love and they got it!#i wasted too much time on this but happy jabberwock sunday everyone#but i did like rereading extra game#it's all about those little details man#jabberwock#allen#zack#nick#nash gold jr#jason silver#knb#kuroko no basket#kuroko no basuke#kirisaki daichi scenarios#hcs#headcanons#extra game#knb extra game#imagines#scenarios#manga panels#mangacaps#character analysis#team interactions
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Ok I totally want to hear more about this survivors au/Delores is real! How do the siblings handle having this different version of Five? Five may be better adjusted but he still has to heard his family around like a bunch of stray cats. What happens when Hazel and Cha Cha show up? How do they find out that Vanya causes the apocalypse and how does Five handle that revelation?!
here is the thing, i think the survivors au has the potential to be HILARIOUS
no one knows how to handle a well-adjusted five, and this absolutely includes the commission
So you mentioned Hazel and Cha-Cha?? Five in this au was not nearly as absolutely feral as he is in the show bc he knows how to interact with people - he was raised by a competent adult and a weird best friend and they occasionally saw other survivors as well
please picture old Five hanging around the water cooler and chatting with Hazel
the other funny thing is that Five is competent passing - he is well adjusted emotionally but functionally?? Hazel is out there complaining about dental being cut and office parties and budgets and Five is there sipping his drink having never filed taxes in his life. Five doesn't know what the fuck a dental plan is, he was a child soldier and then lived in an apocalypse.
So please picture for me Hazel being like "okay I know corporate wants us to keep what we're being paid to ourselves but fuck that, workers unite, what do you get paid as a legend old timer?"
and five is like "you're getting paid? i get to not get tossed back into the apocalypse, I think"
"but what about expense forms? what about medical care?"
"I'm like 80% sure i'm being experimented on, actually." Five says nonchalantly, "Don't get me wrong, my idea of medical care is fucked by being a child soldier but I'm pretty sure regular people don't have electrodes attached to their heads every time they get a checkup. Could be wrong though! My ex-dad used to monitor my brainwaves while I slept so like, my idea of appropriate shit is fucked, you know?"
This is a Five who was raised by Rick, he is polite to his coworkers. If Dot asked him if he wanted to grab lunch, Five would have gone and grabbed lunch with her or politely said that he couldn't.
Cha Cha only ever talks to Five when she wants to talk shop, so they've had a couple of conversations about weapons but not much else tbh, Hazel just tends to be more personable
So when they're sent after Five, Hazel is much more hesitant to kill who he perceives as a "work friend" and also is definitely thinking about all the times Five casually revealed a way the commission was being highkey shady about him, such as the potential experimentation, no pay, working under duress etc. He's much more easily turned against the commission because he's even more primed to say "fuck the commission" than he is in canon
Hazel out here like "how did Five break his contract when Five wasn't even being paid? I kind of want to read it."
Hazel out here like "I would unionize if I didn't think the commission was anti-union enough to send literal assassins after me if I suggested it :/"
meanwhile with the siblings
Five just. talks over them a lot and makes so much sense that it's actually really hard to argue with him, and he's weirdly considerate of his family's obligations
Like Diego is like "i have to go see Patch" then Five is like "that's great I'm proud of you buddy, it would actually be really handy to have some law enforcement read into the situation if you think she's up to the task. that goes for everyone by the way! If y'all have people you trust, more bodies would be super helpful I think"
the entire family, collectively, who have like zero trusted social links: uhhhhhhhh
Diego, with this weird permission, probably?? Does? Awkwardly attempt to read Patch into the situation? Patch is, obviously, like "what the fuck, Diego" but probably goes with him to the mansion (????????) because she's concerned and then meets his fucking whacko family with their superpowers and suddenly everything is 100% more realistic
Five is just like "yes hello I'm aware I look like a child, i'm actually in my late 50s or early 60s (apocalypse time amiright) because of time travel stuff. Yes I am Five Hargreeves who went missing in like 2002 or whatever. anyway it's lovely to meet you, i'm so glad diego has someone he trusts, and considering my sibling's shifty looks when i told them to invite anyone they trusted this genuinely makes me concerned that Diego is the most socially well-adjusted of them."
"That cannot be possible." Patch says, like someone who has met Diego Hargreeves.
"You haven't met the rest." Five says sympathetically, "In our defense we were raised in isolation as child soldiers."
"That... explains so much." Is all Patch can say to that, "But you seem..."
"I'm adopted." Five waves away.
"We're ALL adopted." Diego grits out, very aggrieved by this and also not sure if he likes the fact that Patch seems friendly with Five, or at least is listening to him?
"I'm double adopted."
However! With the recruitment of Patch, herding Diego becomes like 90% easier.
Honestly the worst to herd are probably Luther and Allison? Luther because he's Number One and resents Five taking charge and also resents Five's casual dismissal of Reginald and also suspects that Five (or at least the commission) has something to do with Reginald's death?
Allison because she is torn between following Luther and helping him and helping Five but also calling Patrick and Claire at every possible moment while ALSO trying to repair her relationship with Vanya. She's flighty - she'd bail on a Five-apocalypse-assignment if Vanya mentioned being hungry or if Luther called or anything like that
Vanya likes to be included and, if asked, would probably drop as many current obligations as she can. Like she would probably cancel her teaching if Five genuinely and sincerely asked her for her help, which he does because he's 100% sure Dolores would manifest in front of him and smack him if he dared even imply someone without powers wouldn't be helpful
Vanya is like "I'm not sure if i'll be helpful - I don't have powers ):" and Patch is like "wtf are you talking about - my superpowers are Gun, Backup, and Reading Comprehension and i am like the most useful member of this team right now"
Vanya gets a confidence boost just from hanging out with Patch honestly, I think they should be friends
Klaus is thrilled to be included are you kidding?? He says he does it for money but he's just happy to be there and also as one of the most emotionally intelligent siblings he is mildly concerned about the fact that Five looks like he's about to cry and also emotes
Five also gives Klaus positive reinforcement, hugs, and Five absolutely weaponizes the I'm not mad, but I believe that you can do better and I'm going to give you more chances because I love you and fully believe that next time you'll be amazing way that Rick used on him.
I feel like Five ends up saying something along the lines of "I understand that x is really important, and we're definitely going to look into it. Is it something that needs to be addressed right now, or is it something that can wait until after April 1st? If it can wait, I can write it down here on this list so we don't forget. If it can't wait then we can figure out a time to address it and help you" a lot
Like Grace malfunctioning and potentially killing Reginald?
"We don't have to make this decision right now." Five says patiently, "Because Grace is a robot, we have some options. Living with a robot who is potentially malfunctioning and homicidal is dangerous, but Luther saying that means admitting that Reginald might have made a mistake or error with Grace's programming or upkeep. I haven't been here for a long time, but I remember Reginald being very precise. Regardless, this isn't a choice between permanently shutting her off or not. We can shut her down temporarily until we can fully address the issue. We can ask and see if there is a 'system reboot' option or some sort of system check that Grace can undergo. We can try find and hire an expert to take a look at her programming to find the issue."
Five gives this speech while like, organizing the weaponry in the house on a table very nonchalantly
Five out here making buzzer noises at his siblings arguments like "yeah no that's a false dichotomy and a strawman's argument, want to try again?"
(Look apocalypse nights were long and they had games that were literally about arguing pointless shit like ranking types of chairs or the best way to break out of a prison without powers and things could get heated)
"Who died and made you boss?" Luther demands.
"Uh, the world? Were you not listening?" Five asks, looking very purposefully confused.
It gets even MORE delightful when Five reads Rick into the situation because a) he promised and b) his siblings really have like, no connections jeeze
Rick fully believes that this is his son from the future, like Five introduced himself, but Five skipped out on a few key details. Such as being adopted.
So Rick spends a solid chunk of time just staring at Five, who looks basically nothing like him, trying to think like, who is his mother ???? if we save the world will Five stop existing? why would I name my child 'Five'? Does everyone have powers in the future? was there like... a radioactive apocalypse? would radiation give future humans superpowers? when did my life turn into a comic book? am i even allowed to ask these questions? will knowledge of the future fuck things up?
and then when Five comes back and is like "what is up everyone this is my dad Rick who will be joining us, he doesn't have any memories of me thanks to time travel but if anyone is mean to him i WILL kneecap them"
"Your DAD?"
Five does kidney punch Klaus for saying that Rick is a DILF but otherwise everyone just is like, warily looking at this Normal Dad Man in confusion because?? This is the dude who raised Five, who they watched take out like an entire commission team by himself yesterday? He looks so. Normal.
Rick is very confused and like, wonders if he's supposed to be the team mascot? But Five keeps involving him and asking his opinion and in return Rick enforces snack breaks and makes everyone sandwiches and has gentle talks with everyone
Every time Five notices someone about to blow he just lovingly makes sure that that person is alone in a room with Rick
Luther ends up crying on the sofa with Rick gently patting his back as Rick calmly states that Luther seems like he's put a lot of time and effort into his family and making his father proud and that since Reginald isn't here to say it, Rick will have to be the one to say that he's proud and that they've been dropped into a difficult and stressful situation - so soon after Reginald's death when they're still grieving! - and he's doing so well
Luther, experiencing unconditional positive paternal regard for the first time in his life: i don't know why i'm crying so much
honestly this is just a comedy of juggling the gang, having impromptu therapy sessions and discussions, investigating the apocalypse and the eye, leonard trying to meet vanya continuously and failing because she's constantly surrounding by family or rick/patch, the commission trying their best to bust up the dream team/isolate Vanya/kill or remove Five, while Hazel lives out his romcom dreams with Agnes and also says "fuck the commission"
#HUH?#survivors au#well adjusted five au#long post#far tua long#five recruits rick to be team dad#rick is DEEPLY confused#but he's the kind of person that rolls with it#dolores probably ends up tagging along as well on at least one occasion#dolores and patch bond#five pretends that dolores is a new sibling and not his dolores#five calls rick 'dad' and it messes with everyone else#patch is on team fuck-the-apocalypse(-and-reginald)#vanya is never alone so fuck leonard#five finds out that vanya causes the apocalypse and is like#vanya: HUH?#luther: maybe we should lock vanya up -#rick: are there are any other possible actions that might be more appropriate in this situation?#vanya: i could try get more meds to take and we could address the powers thing after april 1st#vanya immediately gets validated that reginald sucks#even luther who has had multiple conversations with rick is like 'dad... didn't always make the best choices...'#everyone: :0#hazel doesn't kill patch so he probably joins team anti-apocalypse at some point#hazel: why are you a child#five: oh you know i'm young at heart and all that#OH forgot to mention one of the main differences in this au is that five like properly grew up this time#so while he is inconvenienced by his body he's not so deeply uncomfortable or angry about it#just resigned#'this might as well happen' - five#five probably makes jokes about it as well
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Promises, Promises (Teaser)
Tom Holland x Reader
Masterlist
Summary: You and Tom were childhood best friends turned lovers, and he made a promise to be with you forever. But some promises are just meant to be broken.
Warnings: angst, language, some fluff (ribs by lorde energy)
A/N: i've been working on this fic for A WHILE and I'm almost finished with it! be prepared this is gonna be a long (and sad) one but i absolutely love it, so i decided to post a little teaser bc i’m so excited about it hehe
Flashbacks are in italics
~~~~~~~~
"I got the part! Holy shit I actually got the part!" Tom throws his computer across the bed in disbelief, almost hitting you.
"Wait, like THE part? Like Spiderman?" you question excitedly.
"YES!!! Check the Marvel Instagram right now!" he crawls over to you as you whip out your phone and quickly search up the account. You scan the page to see a post captioned, "Click the link in our bio to see who the new Spider-Man is!" You quickly find the link and impatiently wait for the page to load. And then you see it, boldface print and giant letters across your phone.
The new Marvel Cinematic Universe Spider-Man will be played by: TOM HOLLAND
"HOLY SHIT TOM! You're fucking Spiderman!" you tackle him with a hug, squeezing him so tightly that he has to fight for breath. "I'm so proud of you, I knew you were gonna do big things." you smile brightly.
"We have to go tell everyone else, come on!" Tom pulls you off of him, dragging you out of his bedroom and down the stairs to give his family the big news.
The rest of the Hollands were already together in the family room, and they immediately took notice of yours and Tom's excitement as the two of you are bounding down the stairs.
Out of breath, Tom sprints to the center of the room. "Attention everyone, I have an extremely important announcement to make!" He pauses for dramatic effect, his family waiting in anticipation. "I'M GONNA BE SPIDERMAN!"
This causes an outburst of cheers and applause from his parents and brothers, each one of them getting up to hug Tom and congratulate him on this huge achievement.
Paddy piped up, "How did you get the news? Did they call you or something?"
"Um, not exactly. They posted it on their Instagram and on the Marvel website as well, wanna see?" He turns to you, "Y/N, show them your phone!"
You pull out your phone and open the screen you were just looking at, showing the Hollands the Instagram post and article.
"No way, they're totally hacked." Harry remarks, earning disapproving looks from Nikki and Dom. "if you were really gonna be the next Spiderman, they would have called you."
Before Tom has the time to argue back, his phone rings, as if on cue. Tom pulls it out of his back pocket and nervously studies the number across the screen.
"Well, what are you waiting for div, answer it!" Sam chirps impatiently.
The rest of the room is silent while Tom listens intently to the person the other line. You can't make out what they are saying, but the eventual smile on Tom's face completely gives it away.
"Yes, thank you. Thank you so much for this opportunity," he holds while the other person talks again. "Yeah, I'll be in touch, definitely. Thank you again." Tom ends the call and lets out a sigh of relief. "That was fucking Kevin Feige! I got the part! I actually am gonna be the next Spiderman!"
You and the rest of his family cheered even louder than before, enveloping him in a giant group hug.
"I say we celebrate!" Nikki announces. "How about we go out for a nice dinner?"
Tom smiles, "If I'm honest mum, as nice as that would be, I'd rather just stay in and celebrate here tonight. I like your cooking better than any fancy restaurant anyways."
"Of course honey, I'll make your favorite. We can have a nice big family dinner, how does that sound?"
"Sounds perfect mum, thank you."
She dashes into the kitchen followed by Sam, the aspiring chef of the family, while Dom, Harry, and Paddy go to dress the table.
You take this as your cue to leave, seeing as you don't want to disrupt the rest of Tom's night with his family. "I guess I should get going then," you turn to Tom, hugging him once again. "Congratulations again, I'm so proud of you Tommy." you smile as you head to grab your things before you leave.
"Nonsense! You're staying for dinner too!" Tom stops you.
"Tom, I can't, you should spend this night celebrating with your family." you try to reason with him.
"But I want you here too!" he pouts.
"And you are family!" Nikki pipes in from the kitchen, earning nods of agreement from the rest of the family.
"See, everyone wants you here Y/N, please celebrate with us?" Tom cups your face.
"Are you sure? I really don't want to-"
Nikki cuts you off, piping in once again, "Y/N, I insist you stay for dinner with us. You've been a part of this family for so long, and you know that. So please stay and celebrate with us!" she smiles.
You giggle, "Well, I guess I can't say no to that." Tom smiles, giddily engulfing you in another hug.
After a long and delicious dinner, you and Tom now lay under the stars in the treehouse in his backyard. Dom had built it for you two when you were eight years old, and it's been your special place ever since then. Obviously, it has been upgraded and redecorated since then, now that you and Tom were both eighteen, but it still takes you back to the old days when you were just carefree little kids.
You cuddle into Tom's chest, looking up at the night sky through the small window in the roof of the treehouse. "I wish we could stay here forever," you whisper.
"Me too." Tom pulls you closer, kissing your forehead.
"I don't want things to change Tommy. We're graduating in two weeks, and then you leave for America to go film. I'm so proud of you and so excited for you because I know this is like, your dream, but I really don't know what I'm gonna do without you." A small tear rolls down your cheek which doesn't go unnoticed by Tom.
He wipes the tear off your face with his thumb, cupping your chin to make you face him. "Hey, hey, look at me. Things might be changing, but that doesn't mean we have to. I'm only gonna be gone for a few months, and then I'll be back. I love you so much, and a few hundred miles is never going to change that. I will never let anything come between us, ever, okay?"
You smile softly, "You promise?"
"I promise darling. It's you and me forever. I'm never letting you go. Never in a million years." he kisses you lovingly, and you swear you could just live in this moment for the rest of eternity with him, and only him.
That was six years ago. And what Tom said was true, everything did change. You just wish everything else he had said that night was true too.
~~~~~~~~
FULL FIC COMING SOON! i hope y'all are excited :)
Tagging some cool people: @emmastarz @selfcarecap @heavenlyholland @spideyspeaches @felicityparkers @ithoughtyouweresokovian @anna-sofia @blizzardbabe @bichellejones @londonspidey @erule @holland-styles @spideybrie @annathesillyfriend @starknik22 @theliterarymess
#tom holland#tom holland fluff#tom holland angst#tom holland smut#tom holland oneshot#tom holland fic#tom holland x reader#tom holland x you#peter parker#peter parker fluff#peter parker smut#peter parker x reader#soph writes
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sometimes i like to think of the little sexy secrets the boys have, like a day everyone was so horny and they jerk off together to porn. its their little secret and theyre so ashamed of it but theyd love to do this again bc yeah this is hot. the problem is... they all disagree abt the type of porn they want so each one of them has their turn and they get to see what turns them on... thinking of wayv hihi
HOLY SHIT ANON, YOUR MIND! ALSO I'VE PUT WAY TOO MUCH THOUGHT INTO THIS IN THE PAST HOUR SO HERE WE GO!
They decide that the fairest way to do this is to go in age order and go from oldest to youngest in picking videos. So that leaves Kun to go first and he's way too embarrassed to put anything he really wants to. He can't help but feel like there's so so many eyes on him and his dirtiest secrets, so even tho he has an exact video in mind that he knows will get him there so so fast, he chooses instead to search around and after he gets yelled at by the other members for taking too long, he finally plays something pretty vanilla but that isn't too embarrassing for him. It's good, but it's not earth shattering, and he knows he's definitely gonna need more than it to really get him where he needs to be to finally ease this tension in his body. But he's decently satisfied in his choice, and he feels like he might be able to look his members in the eye after all is said and done.
That is, until Ten's turn. Everyone had stayed more or less respectfully and awkwardly quiet during Kun's video, with everyone being too embarrassed and self conscious to really touch themselves, despite the ache they were all feeling. But when Ten snatches up the laptop and instantly starts playing a video full of edging and begging and the models in shibari, the tension in the room snaps.
They're not really sure who was the member to make the first move, but suddenly hands are stroking themselves and clothes are long discarded.
It's Sicheng's turn next, and he had been dreading it, but he swears his fingers move on their own accord as he searches for a video and finds one with a guy sucking on a girl's nipples. He has an oral fixation and you cannot convince me otherwise. The video plays and this time, they're sure it's Xiaojun that is the first one to let out a sound, a muffled groan into the back of his hand as the woman praises the man tending to her, and with that, it's not long before the room fills with more than the sounds coming from their laptop.
Xuxi gets the next turn, and he chooses a video with a close-up on a guy being instructed on how to finger his girlfriend to get her off. It's a crowd pleaser in the dorm.
Xiajoun's hands are shaky when it's finally his turn, and he doesn't even hesitate to search for a video that he knows he'll enjoy. Problem is, with the state he's in and his lust filled brain driving his actions, he completely forgets that the video is one that he has saved in his most secret folder of mommy kink videos. The room lapses into stunned silence as the pornstar utters the title for the first time, and Xiaojun swears that if the attention would've been on him for just a second longer, he would've came from the sheer embarrassment alone.
It's Hendery turn where things slow down. He is adamant that he wants to skip his turn, saying that he's just not that into porn, but Xuxi calls bullshit at the raging boner and sounds he's been letting out the entire night. Kun suggests instead that maybe he should be allowed another turn, arguing that he didn't realize the night was going to get this... Intimate, and demanding a redo where he gets to watch something he's into more.
But it's Sicheng that figures it out first, leaning over to ask a question in Hendery's ear that had his face paling and cheeks heating up. They jump on it, demanding Sicheng share with the rest of them, but he refuses, granting Hendery his last shred of dignity as he can feel the grip he has on his most shameful secret slipping away.
They start throwing out kinks left and right to try to find out his secret, with everything from omaroshi to a foot fetish to full on pet play being tossed around. But Yangyang is finally the one who gets it right, asking simply, "It's gay, isn't it?"
Hendery honestly doesn't think he's ever felt more embarrassed in his life than in that moment, as he types into the search and finally clicks play on a video of a guy giving another guy a handjob. Their own highs abandoned for a minute, they all watch intently, weighing in their heads if they're into it or not. No one verbally states an opinion except Xuxi, who leans over and tells Hendery that he made a good choice.
Hendery tries his best to zone out, ignoring his members around him and chase his own high, but he can't when he feels so fucking self conscious. He's shocked out of his thoughts when Ten taps him on the shoulder and asks him to stop touching himself for a minute. His brain hasn't even finished processing Ten's request when he all but screams, directing all attention to himself as Ten wraps his hand around Hendery's dick.
The video is abandoned quickly by all members but Ten as they turn their attention to the scene in front of them. But Ten pays them no attention, instead watching the video and trying his damndest to copy each and every movement exactly. Hendery cannot help but be sure that Ten has done this before, but he can't find it in himself to voice it.
Another debate breaks out when it's Yangyang turn, as they're not sure if they're really ready to know what kinda kinky shit their maknae is into. He argued adamantly for his equal treatment, but rethinks it immediately when they cave and he's actually expected to play something. It's obvious that he didn't think this one through, but they won't let him back out now.
Much to everyone's surprise, he plays a video with male orgasm denial, with lots of begging and edging, and Xuxi swears he's never discovered more of his own kinks in one night.
It's Xiaojun that finally ends up cumming first, as silently as he possibly could when the woman on the screen degrades the guy. Kun follows pretty soon after, with Sicheng cumming next.
It leaves Ten, Xuxi, Hendery and Yangyang left. Ten has abandoned his own quest for release in favor of torturing Hendery, and he can barely keep it together when Ten demands that he asks for his release the way the guy in the video does. Hendery can't bring himself to let everyone hear him beg, so he leans over and whispers pleas into Ten's ear, and Ten accepts it. Hendery's shot headfirst into his orgasm, followed by Yangyang. With Hendery's worn out body next to him, Ten goes back to chasing his own high, and it doesn't take him long at all to get there.
The boys barely register that Xuxi hasn't finished, too busy in their own afterglows until he lets a grunt escape his lips. Hendery notices right away that Xuxi is copying the video as well as he can, and so they wait for the video to end and for the man in the video, as well as Xuxi, to be granted the opportunity to cum. Yangyang can't help but wish he had chosen a video where the guy didn't get to finish, just to see what Xuxi would've done, but he won't bring himself to admit it.
They don't talk about that day again, or about how they notice when Sicheng stares too long at a woman's breasts, about how they notice the way Xiaojun gets weak when a woman is mean to him. Ten and Hendery don't mention the events of this day to each other again, even tho Hendery has so many questions to ask him about it, the most important of which being, "God can we do that again?" Xuxi is left with a confusing tangle of new revelations about his sexual preferences to unravel, and none of them can look Yangyang in the eye anymore when conversations start to take a sexual turn.
And Kun will never mention it to them, but he's secretly grateful that this whole event took place on his laptop, and cannot thank the internet gods enough for the wonderful feature that is the search history. He has definitely watched every video at least five times at this point, not that he'd ever admit it to anyone.
#answered#anon#wayv smut#thank you so much for this cuz i feel likethis just broke my writing hiatus tbh and i love it#im so compelled to write a full length fic of this ughhhh#kun smut#ten smut#winwin smut#lucas smut#xiaojun smut#hendery smut#yangyang smut#nct smut#mxm smut
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HAPPY 100 MARS!!!/&/&: AHHH! okay so i’d love a tier three if you didn’t mind! i wanted to know which 3 characters would smoke ouid and what you think smoking with them would be like? ily tysm!
▭ WHICH CHARACTERS SMOKE WEED?
includes matsukawa, hanamaki, suna
warnings drug use, explicit content, doing things under the influence, implied sexual content, slight nsfw.
authors note lol ik some people don’t like the whole “w*ed” and dr*g use hc but it’s all fiction and based on my own personal opinion (: i don’t mean to offend anyone lol i smoke too <3
This is a long one, beware <3 also it’s also my dream blunt rotation LMAO
𖥻 MATSUKAWA, ISSEI !
definitely the philosophical stoner
always has a question or an answer
depends on how much he’s smoked though
eyes get really red and he looks really hot
prefers backwoods over regular papers
always smoked regular papers though bc woods are bad for you (:
does that thing where they lick the paper and look at you at the same time
the hottest man smoking ever god please
always makes sure to have you sitting on his left so that he passes it to you first
loves smoking people out
doesn’t really care if you put in money or not
if issei is around, everyone is getting high
smokes makki’s unemployed ass out like everyday lmao
loves to hotbox
lights you up for the first time and tries to get you into another galaxy
“if you’re gonna get high, at least do it right”
definitely funny as fuck when he’s high
always definitely ready to fuck
very touchy when he’s high
will hold on to you for a long time and forget he’s doing it
but if you make him let go he genuinely feels the skin contact nearly rip off
calm down mattsun your possessiveness is showing
tries to explain all the different types to you but forgets mid sentence
literally cannot formulate a single structured thought
definitely leans in to make out with you more than once
loves shotgunning with you
already lazy but when he’s zooted he’s UNBEARABLE
he really does wanna fuck but ends up smoking too much with you because you played chicago and forgot
doesn’t really get hungry for food but munchies?
ate all of the snacks
has no remorse for his actions either
stares into the deep nothing for like 10 minutes
just to snap out of it and look around suspiciously
“do you guys hear that….?”
“…..no?”
“………..the paint is screaming at me?”
ok buddy don’t ruin this for everyone else
knows how to french & ghost inhale
has argued with makki many times over the earth being flat
doesn’t really think it’s flat
ends up believing it is after makki told him the world was actually dome shaped
has a grinder shaped like a dragon ball
not a peer pressuring kinda guy but thinks everyone should get high at least once
definitely gets iwa and oikawa to try
loves getting oikawa high cause he thinks the guy is fucking hilarious
laughs at everything
just a great guy, especially when he starts smoking
falls into a weed coma and doesn’t wake up for like 3 days though
treats it like it’s a regular hangover
definitely falls asleep with his entire body on top of you and no remorse for the weight
says “i’m fried” and isn’t embarrassed about it for whatever reason
he’s hot so no one judges him
𖥻 HANAMAKI, TAKAHIRO !
definitely a comedian when he’s high
always the funniest guy in the room
when him and mattsun are together though?
undefeated
him and issei both smoked for the first time together
after that though?
they became unstoppable
don’t get me started with after volleyball season ended
prefers bongs because he thinks he looks cooler lmao
everyone assumes makki is high but they don’t know he actually gets high
offers to smoke you out cause you’re hot lmao
makes fun of you when you cough
even though he still coughs
hates hotboxing because he can’t handle it
but refuses to pussy out so he’s always the first one to agree
in his own words
“my mother didn’t raise no bitch”
makki please
ideal smoking partner
is one of those people that fuck the passing rotation up because he refuses to pass it to anyone but you
secretly does it because he doesn’t want anyone else’s lips touching yours
prefers to smoke with just his close friends but doesn’t mind a session
doesn’t like shotgunning cause he starts thinking his breath smells bad
gives in anyways because he doesn’t want you doing it with anyone else
loves when you put your legs on him
the pressure gives him chills
makes jokes 24/7 because he likes hearing you laugh
can’t french inhale but mattsun taught him how to ghost inhale and he hasn’t stopped since
takes videos of himself cause he thinks he looks cool
realizes he looks like a fucking idiot but fuck it we ball
falls into a weed coma with his head on your lap and his phone unlocked and still on
does that thing where he lights it up with it in his mouth and looks really fucking hot while doing so
has a breaking bad rick & morty rolling tray and is really proud of it
gets really into music when he’s high
will sing along to all the songs while he’s packing the bong
as i repeat
looks hot while doing so
definitely a hungry high
orders food before you even get to ask
“makki, want some snacks?”
“oh nah it’s cool, i already ordered mcdonald’s”
“????? we just finished smoking????”
prefers smoking over drinking but will do both when he wants to go big or go home
eyes get really low
talks kinda slow but really deep and it’s fucking hot
laughs by throwing his head back and it’s really cute
gets cold when he’s high
it doesn’t matter the season
he gets fucking cold and it makes no sense
so he’ll need your body heat to warm himself up (;
𖥻 SUNA, RINTAROU !
a confused high
no doubt about it
this man never knows what the fuck is going on
ik everyone complains about the stoner!suna hc
but i think it’s fucking hot lmao
always has like 2 blunts rolled and on him at all times
is one of those people that will use any excuse to do it
“……(sighs) i’m gonna go take a smoke break.”
“suna we just got here??”
“exactly”
likes joints and edibles the best
not much of a hungry high or munchie high
but he hyperfixates on a certain food and will eat it until there is nothing left
ate an entire pack of gum in one sitting before
definitely watches cartoons the minute he starts to feel the buzz
rarely talks unless to pass it to you or make a single joke that has you about to pee yourself
he doesn’t say much but when he does?
the man leaves an impact
hates smoking with other people
doesn’t like when they fuck his blunt/joint up
hates smoking joints rolled by other people unless he watches them do it
always complains when you ask to smoke with him but secretly loves it
shotguns with you and acts like nothing just happened
hello sir how dare you make me fall inlove like that
forgets everything so don’t try to say anything important to him
zones out because he’s too busy imagining fucking
but then forgets about fucking and starts thinking about what’s on the tv
can’t hold a conversation but will go in-depth as to why spongebob squarepants was more than just a sponge
“no you need to listen to me, patrick star is much more than just his best friend—”
“….rin what the fuck are you talking about?”
“you’re asking me like i know? pass the blunt.”
definitely got into smoking in high school but didn’t actually do it like that until college
lies on his drug tests lmao
smokes after every win as a celebration and smokes after ever loss as a reliever
lmao seek help sir
definitely tries to get you to take your shirt off when he’s in the moment
swears it’s because he’s doing you a favor but really just loves how you look in his clothes when he’s high
doesn’t really know when to stop because he’s never greened out before
all his supplies is a simple shade of black
he’s a simple man
can do all the smoke tricks
but won’t do it in front of anyone cause he hates when people point it out
likes hotboxing because it gets him higher faster
is actually friends with the guy he gets weed from lmao
his perfect date with you was that one time you guys stood home and did nothing but smoke and watch family guy
tears up every time he thinks about it
has a picture of himself with two blunts in his mouth and his eyes really red and it’s really fucking hot
giggles even though he tries not to
uses pens when he can’t physically have weed on him
doesn’t really like it because the pen high makes him knock out after a few pulls
once rin falls into a weed coma???
don’t even think about trying to contact him cause that man might as well be dead
doesn’t wake up to save his own damn life
you can smack him and the most he’d do is probably groan and turn his head lmao
#matsukawa headcanons#hanamaki headcanons#suna headcanons#matsukawa hcs#makki hcs#suna hcs#issei matsukawa#hanamaki takahiro#suna rintaro#matsukawa x reader#hanamaki x reader#suna x reader#haikyuu#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu x reader#au#hq headcanons#hq mattsun#hq makki#hq suna#hqhcs#haikyū!!#haikyuu!!#xxxmars#tw/drugs
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Horizon (21)
Plot Summary: Once a princess of a kingdom you loathed to call yours, you have somehow found yourself aboard a pirate ship, stuck on the ocean waves. Now you try to figure out how to escape them, but as you continue to journey with them, you find yourself wondering if you even want to.
Pairings: Ateez x Reader (Kim Hongjoong x Reader)
Content Warnings: Mentions of death and sexual implications throughout the fic, nothing ever specified in detail
Previous / Masterlist / Next
A/N: Y'all ever just spend all night writing 23 pages of a chapter because you got possessed by the god of writing suddenly???? yeah that was me with this chapter bc HOOOOLYYY SHIT she's a long one! Not that I'm sure anyone will complain with that but like damn i really did go off here. Chapter warnings though: this does contain child abuse (though I don't think it's incredibly descriptive??? i tried my best) as well as uh smth near the end that i think y'all will like (eye emojis bc i'm on laptop) I hope you guys enjoy this EXTREMELY long chapter !!! i'm about to go pass out lmao
It wasn’t hard to corner Seonghwa; thanks to him spending a lot of time in the kitchen, it was easy to catch him during a time no one else was likely to interrupt. You casually strolled in, trying not to make it seem obvious that you were there for a reason.
“Hello, Seonghwa,” You greeted, “Are you busy?”
“Not terribly, just preparing dinner for later,” He replied, not looking at you, “I would like some help, however, if you’re willing.”
“No problem,” You jumped up, “What do you need?”
“Make sure these vegetables are cut up properly,” He instructed, handing you a kitchen knife, “It’s no dagger, but I don’t think I need to doubt your skills with a blade, now do I?”
You confirmed, “Jongho’s mother showed me what to do when we first went to his home, remember? I can handle this.” You began to chop the vegetables, letting a moment pass before you spoke up again. “Seonghwa?”
“Yes?” He answered absentmindedly, clearly focused on cooking.
“I couldn’t help but notice… Every time that Hongjoong brings up the possibility of seeing your families, you act differently. You and Yunho both, truly.” He froze in place at your words. “And I remember before, you told me it’d been six years since you’d last seen your family. I didn’t want to ask more at the time, because I was still new to the crew and didn’t want to pry, but I hope by now I’ve earned enough trust to be able to ask, Seonghwa.”
“It’s not a matter of trust,” He sighed, leaning forward onto the counter, “I don’t like to talk about it. It isn’t important, anyway.”
“Of course it’s important, it’s about you,” You replied, looking at him, “And I’d say it’s only fair, considering you know everything about my family. If you really don’t want me to know, then I’ll stop asking, but I think it might benefit the both of us if you still get upset over it.”
He was silent for a moment, thinking over your words, before sighing again, “I know by now you know the common theme amongst everyone in the crew, correct?”
“Yeah, that Hongjoong saved you all in some way,” You instantly responded, “It applies to me, too.”
“Well, I was the very first person he saved,” He began, “I was his first crewmate. He met me right as he’d stolen The Utopia from it’s former owner.”
“That recently?!” You were shocked, “That means you’ve known him since before he was the Pirate King!”
“Yes, Yunho and Mingi, as well,” Seonghwa nodded, “But I won’t go too deeply into that. You see, before I was a pirate, I was just a sailor, I’d go out sailing for food to help feed my family, my parents and little brother. But one day, a storm came with no warning, and we weren’t prepared. I was the only survivor of that crew.”
“Oh my god,” You almost whispered, “How did you survive?”
“To this day, I’m not sure,” Seonghwa admitted, “It was almost like I was meant to survive, like I wasn’t supposed to die there. Maybe one of Maddox’s tricks, now that I think about it, but who could tell for sure? The point is, I was alive, but still adrift in the middle of the ocean. I thought that if the storm didn’t kill me, surely the hunger or dehydration would. But that’s when Hongjoong came, barely managing the ship all on his own. He noticed me sailing on my own and brought me aboard, giving me something to eat and drink while he was at it.”
“That sounds like Hongjoong,” You smiled fondly, thinking of your captain.
Seonghwa matched your smile, “Yes, and I was so thankful. I felt as though I owed my life to him, and after finding out that he was in need of crewmates, I quickly volunteered to join. He was surprised, but not exactly in a position to turn it down. And thus, I became his quartermaster.”
You tilted your head slightly, “But, what about your family? What happened to them?”
“What, indeed,” He sighed, “I know you’re no stranger to how pirates are considered by the general public. I couldn’t go back as a pirate, what if they’d shame me or want no part of me anymore? Who could blame them if they did? I thought it better to just let them think I was dead, then they wouldn’t feel the shame of having a pirate as a son. But, even now…”
“You feel guilty over it,” You finished, catching on to what he was about to say, “Seonghwa, I really don’t think you need to worry. While, yes, maybe at the time they might’ve had a bad reaction, by now I’m sure they’d just be glad to know you’re alive, pirate or not. Maybe it’s time you finally saw them again, let them know you’re still here and thinking about them.”
“I can’t,” He shook his head, “At least, not now. I’m not ready to face them yet. Besides, with the war looming over our heads, there’s no guarantee I’d even survive, and how cruel would it be to show up in front of them only to die, this time genuinely? It’d be too much, for both me and them.”
“I understand,” You nodded gently, holding onto both of his hands, “I won’t tell you that we’ll definitely make it out of this, because I don’t know for sure, and we could all die in this war. But, I want you to promise me that if you make it out of the war alive, you’ll go find your family. They need the closure, and quite frankly, you need it, too. Can you do that for me, Seonghwa?”
“I… I’ll try,” Seonghwa hesitantly stated, “But I can’t promise anything. Let’s focus on winning this war first, shall we? Then we’ll see about me finding my family.”
“That’s good enough for me,” You grinned at him, “Now, do you still need help with dinner, or can you handle it by yourself?”
“I can take it from here, (Y/N),” He chuckled, almost as if he were amused. As you turned to leave the kitchen, you could hear him call after you, “(Y/N?)”
“Yes?” You turned to face him again.
He gave you a sincere smile, “Thank you. For listening.”
“It’s no problem,” You returned the smile with one of your own, “After all, what are friends for?”
~
Later, as you searched the ship for Yunho, you ran into someone near the bow of the ship. Looking up, you quickly saw that it was Eden.
“I’m so sorry, Captain Eden,” You quickly apologized, “I was looking for Yunho and wasn’t aware of my surroundings.”
“It’s fine,” The older man waved off, an almost disinterested look upon his face, “I was actually meaning to speak with you myself, Your Highness, without Hongjoong keeping watch over you. I had something to ask you.”
“Please, don’t call me by any titles, as I already said I have none,” You reminded, “But alright, what do you need?”
“How come you haven’t left the crew yet?” With that question, the mood changed so suddenly that you could hear a pin drop.
Unsure of what his meaning behind this question was, you hesitantly replied while trying to maintain a friendly air, “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t-!”
“I mean to say, how come you haven’t left the crew and freed them of this war yet?” Eden cut you off, doubling down on his question, “You know there’s no possible way for a ragtag group of pirates to win against the Royal Navy, why not just give yourself up and spare their lives?”
Dropping the friendly air, you narrowed your eyes and frowned at him, “And where exactly do you come off speaking like that when, quite frankly, it’s none of your business?”
“You asked for my help and my charge is your captain, so, quite frankly, it is my business,” He replied, matching the hostile air, “I agreed to help for his sake, not yours. You’ve given me no reason to believe you’re not a detriment to this crew.”
“Maddox said-!” You started, but were once again cut off.
Eden scoffed, “Maddox? You mean the madman down at Tortuga who you all now claim to be the ocean? Do you really expect me to believe that?”
“You said to Hongjoong earlier that you believed him because he knew better than to lie to you,” You argued, becoming increasingly more annoyed with Eden’s attitude the more he spoke.
“I did, yes, and I did believe him. I believe that he believes it, not that it actually happened. How you convinced him of such magic, I’m not sure, but I don’t care,” He responded, “I want you to leave Hongjoong and this crew, forever. They’re all too caught up in their love for you to realize that you’re leading them to their deaths, but if you truly care for them as much as you say you do, then you’ll go back home to your castle and call off this war.”
“How fucking dare you talk to me like that?” You stepped forward, enraged as you leaned in close to his face, “I may not have titles any longer, but I won’t be talked to in such a matter. Who exactly do you think you are to be giving me such an order?”
“Your captain’s captain, if you’ve already forgotten,” He returned your glare with one of his own.
You let out a slight scoff, “Yes, you’re his former captain, but you’re not mine. You have absolutely no authority over me, and so I don’t have to listen to a single fucking thing you have to say. I don’t care if you don’t believe me, I’ll prove it to you one way or another. Just you watch.”
“I’m telling you one last time, leave the crew and go back home, unless you want to see the crewmates you love so much die in front of your eyes,” He warned once again as you turned around, not backing down in the slightest.
Whipping around, you leaned in close once again, whispering harshly, “I’m not going anywhere, do you hear me? I made a promise to Hongjoong that I would stay on this ship, that I would never leave, and my promise to him means more to me than any authority you have over him!” Having finally had enough, you pushed past him, still fuming at how much he’d riled you up. Now you definitely needed to find Yunho, he always knew just how to calm you down.
~
Eden gave a small smirk as he watched the girl storm away, practically seeing the steam run out of her ears at how angry he’d gotten her.
Making his way over to Hongjoong’s quarters, he took a seat across the younger captain, “Well, she’s definitely a feisty one, that’s for certain.”
Hongjoong groaned, putting his quill down so he could put his head in his hands, “Don’t tell me you gave her one of your ‘tests’...”
“I had to make sure she was ready to fight alongside you all,” Eden replied, his tone almost innocent, “This is her family we’re going against after all, we can’t afford for her to pull any punches.”
“Yes, well, now I’m afraid she may end up punching you before anyone else, the way you do things,” Hongjoong sighed, leaning back in his chair, “So, what then? Did she meet your standards?”
“I think had we gotten anyone else we’d be in trouble,” Eden answered, not looking at his former student, “Despite her royal upbringing, she’s a perfect fit amongst you all. I guess you could call that irony, you being the Pirate King, and all.”
“Yeah, she was always a perfect fit, even if things started out rocky at first,” Hongjoong smiled softly, thinking of the girl that had taken his heart.
Eden didn’t miss the look on his face, speaking up, “I know you, Hongjoong, I know that look. And even if I didn’t, I could see it the minute I saw you with her. You’ve fallen for her, haven’t you?”
“Deeply,” Hongjoong admitted, not wanting to even try to argue it, “Like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve had… infatuations before-!”
“You’re telling me,” Eden scoffed, remembering some of the antics Hongjoong had gotten up to as a young teenager.
“But,” Hongjoong continued, giving a glare to his teacher, “It was never anything as… intense, as this. It’s almost indescribable, just every inch of my being wants to be near her. It was hell when she let herself get captured, Eden, pure hell. I barely know how to contain myself.”
“If you feel this strongly about her, you should tell her,” Eden advised, “It won’t do any good to just sit around on your feelings, letting them build up until they put you at a disadvantage. It’d be best to tell her the next time you see her.”
“We’re about to go to war, Eden,” Hongjoong sighed, “One or both of us very well could die, and then where would that leave us? What would be the point of confessing if we may not even live to see a future together?”
“Alright then, let’s think about it, shall we?” Eden humored his student, “Let’s go through the different scenarios. Number One, you live and she dies.” Just the mere thought of it caused Hongjoong to tighten his fists; he absolutely could not let that happen. “Now, would you want her to have died never knowing of your feelings, and have yourself live on knowing she never knew? Or would you at least want her to know before she passed, know that there was someone on Earth that loved her deeply?”
Hongjoong was silent, not knowing how to respond.
“Number Two,” Eden continued, “You die and she lives. Would you want her to live with the regret that you died for her, but never knowing why outside of you being her captain? Would you want her to live with that guilt?”
“No,” Hongjoong spoke softly, staring at the desk in front of him.
“Number Three, you both live. Then you can both live on happily as whatever you want, whether it be a pirate and his crewmate or as two civilians settling down in a town somewhere. It seems that there’s a pretty clear answer to me,” Eden concluded.
“You left one out,” Hongjoong pointed out, “We could both die. Then what?”
“What does it matter then, Hongjoong? You’re just trying to give yourself reasons not to tell her about how you feel,” Eden argued, “Besides, if you tell her now, at least you can say you had some time together, even if it was short. Some time is better than none at all, you’ll do well to remember that. You need to tell her, Hongjoong, before it’s too late.”
Hongjoong was silent for a moment before he sighed, “I’ll think about it. Besides, I don’t even know if she feels the same way.”
“She definitely feels the same way, she was damn near ready to kill me when I told her to leave you and the ship,” Eden scoffed.
“Right, well-!” Hongjoong continued the work he was doing, then paused, “Wait, you did what?”
~
You were still steaming with anger as you tried to find Yunho, almost missing the blue haired boy as he ran into you as well.
“Hey, watch it there,” He chuckled, clearly not upset until he saw that you were, “What’s wrong? Did Wooyoung call you princess again?”
“No, it’s not that, it’s that I can’t believe that Hongjoong was raised by such a rude, no-good, infuriating bilgerat of a man,” You ranted, anger still clouding your head.
“Okay, let’s calm down a bit before he hears you, I doubt that’ll make the situation better,” Yunho grabbed onto your shoulders and tried to calm you down, “Let’s go to the railing and talk, alright? Like how we used to back when you first came on board.”
“Alright,” You nodded, taking deep breaths to calm down, “Let’s go.” Once you were at the railing where you liked to watch over the ocean, you informed Yunho of your altercation with Eden, relaying every detail.
“Ah, it seems you’ve been given one of Eden’s ‘tests’,” Yunho chuckled, understanding the situation now, “Don’t take it to heart, he likely meant none of it. It’s just what he does to every new crew member, to make sure Hongjoong isn’t surrounded by anyone who’ll hurt him. It’s like you said, the man’s like his father, and he wants what’s best for him, even if neither of them will admit it. He can take it a bit far though, damn near almost got killed by San for doing the same thing.”
“I think I’ve had quite enough of people giving me tests,” You grumbled, thinking of when Maddox had sent the storm to test your willpower on your first voyage to Elysia.
“Yeah, I don’t blame you!” Yunho laughed, “But like I said, he meant none of it. If anything, he probably respects you more now due to your response. You put Hongjoong before him, which is what every crew member should do for their captain. For once, your temper actually worked in your favor.”
“Oh, shut up,” You stuck your tongue out at him playfully before you both burst into laughter at your antics. It was silent between you two, before you spoke up again, “You know, this is a lot like before, you and me at this railing while you tried to calm me down. I didn’t trust anyone back then, but now I trust you all with my life, isn’t it funny how things turn out?”
“Yeah, I remember,” Yunho smiled, gazing out into the ocean, “Nearly thought you’d and Yeosang would end up killing each other, the way you two fought. Now here you both are, ready to fight side by side. I’m almost proud.”
“I have something to admit,” You started, “Nothing bad, but when we last saw Maddox, he gave me a mission of sorts. He told me to get close to every crew member, to find out everything I could about them, to strengthen our bonds, I assume. If I’m being honest, I’d almost forgotten about it because it seemed to happen naturally, but there’s one more person I still don’t know a lot about, and that’s you, Yunho. And, I figured, you were the first person on this ship that I began to trust, so how fitting is it that you’re the last person that trusts in me?”
“If I’m being honest, I kinda figured that’s what you were doing,” Yunho admitted, “And, well, I suppose it was going to happen sooner or later that I’d tell you my past. I don’t mind telling you, but I’m afraid it’s quite bittersweet. Not tragic, like Mingi’s, San’s, Yeosang’s, and Wooyoung’s, or complicated as Seonghwa’s. Just… bittersweet.”
“I’m listening,” You encouraged, holding onto his hand.
“I used to live in a small town, way far away from here, clearly, with my father and younger brother,” Yunho began, “My mother died when my brother was very young and I’m sorry to say he went not too long after. I was fairly young myself, so it didn’t really impact me as much as it would now, but it changed something within my father. He became increasingly overprotective, to the point where I was essentially being kept captive in my own home. I wasn’t allowed to go out, and anytime I tried I’d get yelled at. I’m sure you can relate to that feeling.” He looked at you, the smile on his face not matching his words. You merely nodded, allowing him to continue.
“However, try as he might, he couldn’t stop me from looking out my window at night and seeing the stars, all sparkling and beautiful. Sometimes, if I was lucky, I’d sneak outside my home through the window and climb up onto the roof to be able to get a better look. I guess if you wanted to be poetic about it, you could say the stars were my first love,” Yunho had a fond look on his face as he told the story, “And so, from the minute I learned to read, I spent all my time learning about the stars and anything that comes with it. That’s how I learned to be a navigator; my love for the stars was the very thing that gave me my role on this ship. And that’s where Hongjoong comes in.”
“Hongjoong and Seonghwa had just made it to shore when I saw them; my former home was by the ocean,” Yunho continued, “They’d just met themselves, I believe, as I remember them telling me that Seonghwa had just become Hongjoong’s first crewmember. They’d stayed in town for a few days before they spotted me, looking at them through the window. I still don’t know what possessed Hongjoong to try to talk to me, but he walked right up to the window and introduced himself, Seonghwa trailing behind him, trying to stop him. I was surprised they’d even bothered, but I was overjoyed, as well. They were the first people beside my father who’d actually talked to me. I told them about myself, and why I was stuck inside, and you wouldn’t believe how angry Hongjoong got, him and Seonghwa both. They both promised that they’d find a way to bust me out, and that I could go with them as a pirate as their third member. Well, it didn’t take much to convince me, that’s for sure. I agreed instantly, and they set their plan for that night.”
“Once it was dark, Seonghwa caused a distraction, luring my father outside and away from the house, while Hongjoong snuck in and helped me carry whatever I needed out to the ship. Once we made it out, Hongjoong gave some sort of signal to Seonghwa to let him know that we were in the clear, and Seonghwa snuck away from my father. By the time he made it back home, I was already on the ship. I never knew what he did when he realized I was gone, or even what became of him. I joined the crew as their navigator and never looked back since,” Yunho concluded, “I don’t really feel bad about it, because I know I’m a lot better off than I would’ve been back there, but at the same time, I feel for the poor man, you know? His wife and child die, and his only remaining son runs off, never to be seen again. If I didn’t remember how bad it was, I might’ve been inclined to return, but as it stands, I don’t really ever want to see him again. I’m happy now, I don’t really need any sort of closure, not any he could give me anyway.”
You nodded for a second, understanding, “We’re a lot more alike than I thought, our stories are so similar. Now I understand what you meant when you said that you know how I felt back when we first talked.”
“It takes one to know one,” He agreed, still looking off into the ocean, “Though, I will say, it is nice to finally let it off my chest again. The crew knows, of course, but… I suppose it takes someone who knows exactly what it’s like to be locked away from the world to fully understand the weight of it. I’m glad you were the one I could properly talk about it with.”
“It’s no problem,” You smiled at him, giving him a slight nudge, “Consider it returning the favor for listening to me talk back then. Now we’re even.”
“Now we’re even,” He nodded, smiling himself, “Now, let’s go join the rest of the crew, shall we? I suppose by now Hongjoong will have found out what Eden said and demand he give you an apology, so let’s see how the rest of the crews make fun of him this time.”
~
The rest of the trip to Eysia was calm, unlike the first time when Maddox had created that storm to test you. This time, there were no tests, only calm waters as you reached the island.
“The water is calmer than usual,” You pointed out, “Almost as if it’s expecting us.”
“You think Maddox knows we’re coming to see him?” Wooyoung asked, looking out into the water.
Yeosang replied, “It’d be a shock if he doesn’t, he seems to know everything, doesn’t he?”
“Well, he is the ocean,” You shrugged, “He probably hears us talking right now. I guess we’ll know for sure in a bit. We’re reaching land.”
“I still can’t believe there was such an opening amongst those rocks,” Eden frowned, but not in contempt, but rather confusion, “How’d you manage to spot it the first time?”
“That would be thanks to (Y/N),” Hongjoong came up, a proud smile on his face, “She’s got an amazing eye, she’s the best lookout we could’ve asked for.” Flustered at the praise, you looked down and smiled, not meeting Hongjoong’s eyes. “Now, are we ready? We’re heading to shore now. Who’s coming? I know (Y/N) is joining.”
“Captain, do you even need to ask? Of course the whole crew is coming,” San sighed exaggeratedly, as if he was tired of Hongjoong not knowing what to expect from them.
“Yeah, I just hope that we actually get to go in the cool looking cave this time and not be forced to wait while (Y/N) goes in alone again,” Wooyoung added, pouting at the memory of the last time the crew was at Elysia.
“I’ll be going as well, as Captain of my own crew,” Eden told Hongjoong, turning to look at him, “I’ll need to meet him for myself if we’re truly to get help from him.”
“Understood,” Hongjoong nodded, “Let’s go, then.” Once you made it off the ship onto dry land, you were met with a familiar face.
“Welcome back,” Elysian greeted, a genuine smile on his face, “It’s nice to see you again. And welcome to you, Eden. It’s nice to meet you for the first time.”
“Right, you as well,” He answered somewhat awkwardly, “I’m guessing you’re the Elysian they’ve told me about, then.”
“That’s correct. Like what Maddox is to the ocean, I am to this island, thanks to (Y/N),” He shot you a grateful smile, “Now, I understand you all find yourselves in a tricky situation. Maddox is expecting you all.”
“Yes!” You could hear Wooyoung softly cheer to himself.
“Lead the way,” Hongjoong said, ignoring Wooyoung’s little outburst. It didn’t take long until you were back in the cove from before, where you last met with Maddox, this time surrounded by the crew you’ve come to love.
Said man smiled at you, having been waiting, “Hello, again, (Y/N). It’s been quite some time.”
“But not for you, has it?” You guessed, “You’ve been seeing everything we’ve gone through since we left, haven’t you?”
“That’s correct,” He nodded, the smile on his face not fading.
“Damn lot of good you were, we could’ve used your help during some of the things we went through,” Mingi scoffed.
“We could use your help now,” Hongjoong added on, looking at him with a determined look.
“I could not and cannot be involved,” Maddox answered, “If I were to, I’d be disrupting things too much and fate would be changed. Things must follow a certain path, and I must remain impartial as the deity of the ocean. In some small cases, I can alter things to fit fate’s path, but anything of this magnitude I must stay out of.”
“So, you’re essentially saying you’re useless,” Eden spoke dryly, arms crossed as he looked annoyed.
“Not necessarily,” Maddox contested, “(Y/N), Hongjoong, could you two please step forward?” Looking at each other, the two of you did what he said. “(Y/N), I promised you that the next time we met, I’d tell you everything about how the two of you met before and how neither remember. It’s time I keep that promise.”
“We already have a suspicion,” Hongjoong spoke, “A dream I had, we think it’s a memory of our first meeting.”
“You’d be right,” Maddox nodded, “But it’s not the full story. The truth is, I was the one who wiped both of your memories.”
“You what?” The both of you spoke at once, shocked at the information he’d just given you.
“The two of you met before you were ever supposed to,” Maddox began to elaborate, “Sometimes, things like that happen naturally, which is why it’s my job to fix them so fate doesn’t end up changing. I had to wipe your memories of each other to make sure that when you met again, you’d be complete strangers.”
“Well, can you give us those memories back?” You asked, “Or, at least tell us what happened?”
“I can,” He confirmed, “It won’t hurt fate for you to know now that you’ve met and grown close as intended. If you both wish it, I can return your memories back right now.”
You looked to Hongjoong, who nodded, “Do it. I need, no, we need to know.”
“Very well, then.” Maddox spoke, “Then, I’ll need you both to close your eyes, and think back to when you were children…”
~
“(Y/N), are you sure we should’ve snuck away from the guards?” Your brother asked you worriedly, “I mean, they were given to us for a reason!”
“Oh, relax!” You laughed, practically skipping in the town square, “We’re the prince and princess, we should know about how our kingdom works, and what better way to learn than to see it firsthand? Come on, this helps you more than me, you’re the one who’s going to be king after all!”
“Hey,” He stopped you, grabbing onto your shoulder so you could face him, “I know Mother and Father remind you of that all the time, but you don’t need to remind me. Once I’m king, I’ll make sure you have some sort of power, not be some bride they think they can marry off.”
Smiling, you took his hand, “Well, that’s very sweet of you, but we’re here to have fun, not talk about what kind of king you’ll be. Now, come on, let’s go see what’s out there!” You led your brother away, running down the streets as you both laughed and giggled. You were twelve years old, and your brother fourteen, and it felt like the world was before you as you both took in the sights and sounds of the town. It wasn’t as grand as you were expecting, but it was something different than the castle walls, and that alone was enough to get you excited. However, it wasn’t long before that excitement came crashing down.
There was a crowd gathering in the street, and you could hear someone’s cries in the middle of it, it sounded like a young boy’s. Making your way through the crowd, you pushed your way up front where you could finally see what was happening; a young boy around your age with light red hair was getting whipped and kicked around by people much older and heavier than him, and everyone only seemed to be watching. He was covered in blood and mud, and you could see scars littering his body which told you that this wasn’t the first time this had occurred.
You whispered to your brother, who had caught up to you, “What’s going on? What are those men doing to him?”
“Those are slave traders,” He whispered back, “I didn’t know there were any in this kingdom, they sell people off and treat them terribly. Looks like that one got him mad about something, he’s giving him a real beating…” In horror, all you could do was watch as one of the older men kicked the boy again, causing him to spit out blood upon impact.
“How come everyone’s just watching, why don’t they do anything?” You hissed, growing increasingly angry at all the people just standing idly by.
“Look at him, what do you expect them to do? They can’t just take him in a fight, and I’m sure he’s probably got some dirt on all of them to keep them quiet. All they can do is watch.” At this, another blow was dealt, and you’d finally had enough.
“Well, I can’t watch this! Come on!” Without thinking, you quickly rushed towards the boy and grabbed his hand, ignoring your brother’s instant cry of your name. “Come on, get up!” You rushed, taking advantage of the fact the slave traders seemed so shocked, he’d frozen in place. Quickly as he can, the boy rose to his feet, and at an instant you were off, holding onto the boy’s hand as you took off running, your brother quickly following.
“Quickly, follow me!” You urged, knowing you were likely to be chased, “We can’t let them catch us!”
“(Y/N), you’re going to get us in trouble!” You brother hissed out, managing to keep up with your pace, “What are you thinking?!”
“Run now, talk later!” You answered, continuing to run.
Your brother admonished, “Do you know what you’ve just caused?!”
“How was I supposed to just leave him there, he’s all bloody!” You argued, gesturing to the boy, who’d remained quiet, confused on what was happening, “They would’ve beaten him until he died! He’s not that much younger than you, you know!”
“I-!” Realizing you were right, your brother sighed, “Alright, fine! But when Mother and Father find out, it’ll be on your head!”
“That’s fine with me, now let’s go!” Quickly, the three of you found a small alley to hide in for the time being. It was then you turned to smile at the boy, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you make it somewhere safe, alright? Just trust me. What’s your name?”
You could see that he was still slightly hesitant, but he spoke in a soft voice, “...My name is Hongjoong. Kim Hongjoong.”
“I’m (Y/N), and this worrywart is my brother (B/N)!” You introduced yourself and your brother, continuing to try to make the boy more comfortable with the two of you.
“You mean… the prince and princess of the kingdom?!” The boy’s, Hongjoong’s, eyes widened as he realized who he was in the company of.
“That’s right! Which means you’re the safest with us!” You grinned, “Hey, how old are you, anyway? You look pretty young to me…”
“I’m… twelve years old… I think…” He trailed off, not knowing for sure what his actual age was since he never knew his parents.
Your grin widened, “Hey, that means you’re the same age as me! That’s amazing!”
“(Y/N), we need to know what to do with him before the slave traders come and find us,” Your brother reminded you, “We need to think, fast.”
“Well, can’t he just stay with us in the castle?” You frowned, not wanting to part with your new friend, “That way he won’t go back to being a slave!”
“Look at him, do you really think Mother and Father would agree to letting him stay in the castle?” You pouted, but as much as you hated to admit it, your brother had a point. With how grimy and bloody Hongjoong was, there was no way your parents wouldn’t turn him away at an instant. Just as you were about to speak up again, you could hear the slave traders beginning to catch up.
“Quick, no time to talk, let’s go!” You grabbed onto Hongjoong’s hand again and ran, your brother following close behind. You made it to the docks, where you could see a ship loading it’s cargo and saw an opportunity. “Hongjoong, go on that boat! Hide in a barrel or something, but make sure you get on that ship, alright? It’s your best chance to escape!”
“But, what about you two?” Hongjoong asked, uncertain about the situation, “What will you do?”
“Don’t worry about us, we have guards looking for us,” You assured, “We’ll be fine, just have to deal with a bigger punishment from our mother than usual, is all. You’re what matters here, Hongjoong, if you don’t go now, you might not have another chance! Now go!”
He made his way to sneak onto the ship, but turned back to face you again, “Will we meet again?”
You smiled, glad to know he wanted to see you again, “I’m sure that someday, we will. Now, go on then! Be free!” He nodded quickly, giving you a smile in thanks, before he rushed out into the cargo hold and hid from view. Just then, you heard the slave traders catch up behind you, clearly out of breath.
“There they are!” One called out, “Where’s the merchandise?”
“You’re too late!” You provoked, “He’s long gone from here. Now you can’t ever hurt him ever again!”
“Why you rotten little…” The man tried to march towards you, but stopped at your brother’s words.
“Ah, ah, you wouldn’t want to hurt the prince and princess of the kingdom, would you? Especially not with the guards right behind you?” Turning around, the slave traders did indeed find the guards that were looking for you both behind them, looking none too pleased at the situation they were looking at.
The wind blew as you grinned. It seemed like karma really did exist after all. But oddly enough, it seemed like you were already forgetting what you were so happy about…
~
Your mother slapped you across the face, the impact making you land heavily on the tiled ground. You didn’t look up, refusing to meet your eyes as you touched your stinging cheek, your brother standing right behind you.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?! Not only did you sneak away from your guards, you caused a scene in the middle of the square, right in front of everyone, and even dragged your poor brother into it with you! Do you know how much shame this brings both us and him?! You stupid, stupid child!” Your mother continued to yell, hurling insults as you stayed on the floor.
“I just…” You spoke softly, trying to remember what you had done in the first place.
“Just what? What explanation could you possibly have?!”
“I-I don’t remember.” You looked away again, knowing you just made things worse.
Your mother scoffed, “You don’t remember? How could you not remember what just happened today? Horrible child, and it’s a question of why (B/N) will be the one in charge?”
“Well, then tell me!” You raised your voice unexpectedly, “Tell me what it was that was so terrible, that it makes me a horrible child!”
“I- Well-!” It was clear that your mother either wasn’t expecting that response, but it only infuriated her more, “Idiotic girl, you should know what it was! I shouldn’t have to tell you of your own wrongdoings!” It was clear that she didn’t know either, but you didn’t notice at the time.
“Why not, it’s never stopped you before!” You fought back, clearly having had enough of this treatment.
“Enough!” Your father spoke up, having watched the whole ordeal, “(Y/N), you’re not to step foot outside of these castle walls, do you understand me? Clearly you’ve proven that you can’t be trusted to go out, not even with your brother.”
“What?! But what about (B/N)?! He joined me, too!”
“(B/N) is going to be king someday, he needs to be out in the town for the people to know and trust him.”
“But that’s not fair!” You argued, close to tears at this point. “You always treat him better than me! We’re both just as guilty of the same thing!”
“That’s enough, (Y/N)! My word is final!” Your father shouted, “Now, go to your room while your mother and I think of a proper punishment for (B/N).” Tears welling up in your eyes, you quickly ran back to your room, slamming the doors behind you and not letting anyone else inside as you cried.
~
Meanwhile, with Hongjoong, he now stood in front of Eden, who had found him stowing away in the cargo hold, and was now staring down in front of him with a cold look.
“Now, let me get this straight,” The older man spoke slowly, “You are a former slave, who managed to find the courage to escape his tormentors, and stowed away on this ship to find freedom? Did you just plan on us never finding out?”
“I… admit I wasn’t thinking much at the time…” Hongjoong answered softly, keeping his head down. In truth, he couldn’t quite remember what had happened or what he’d been thinking, but that was the best explanation that he could come up with.
“No, clearly not,” Eden drawled, “And what were you planning to do once we reached land? You really did not think anything through, did you?”
Hongjoong stayed silent, knowing he was right.
Eden stared at the boy, thinking, before he sighed, “As much as my entire being hates to admit this, I must say you do have courage if your story is true. And I can’t in good conscience let you out on your own when you don’t have a clue on how the world works, especially not with you being so young. So, I propose this: you become one of my pirate’s crew, and you’ll have food, drink, and safety for as long as you stay. If you choose to leave later, that’s fine, but for now, I’d say it’s in your best interest to agree. So?”
Hongjoong didn’t even need to think twice about it, looking Eden directly in the eyes, “I’ll do it. I’ll become a pirate.”
“Very well,” Eden nodded, “I’ll teach you everything you need to know myself, but it won’t be easy, got it? If you’re going to stay on this ship, you’re going to pull your weight, understand me?”
“Yes, sir!” Hongjoong instantly replied.
“Good, then from now on, I am your captain, and you will refer to me as such,” Eden declared, “Welcome to the crew, Kim Hongjoong.”
~
Opening your eyes, you were shocked as you saw Maddox in front of you again. Looking around to regain your bearings, you could see the rest of the crew and Eden, watching you both with rapt attention. You turned to Hongjoong to see him in much the same state you were, shocked and dazed.
“That was…” You trailed off, not sure where to start.
“The two of you were always destined to meet, but that would’ve been too soon,” Maddox explained, “Had I not intervened, things could’ve turned out for the worst. But, I knew that one day the two of you would meet again, so I took your memories so I could return them now, in this moment.”
“I…” Hongjoong still seemed a bit dazed, but he quickly shook it off, “We can’t focus on that right now. Maddox, we’re about to go to war, and we need some help. Are you sure there isn’t any way for you to help us?”
“I cannot,” Maddox confirmed, “But there is someone who can.” He turned his head to Elysian, who seemed confused.
“Me?” He questioned, “Why me?”
“I created Elysian, which means he has abilities similar to my own, albeit weaker, and can travel away from the island. Furthermore, due to him being my creation, he has no obligation to keep fate in line, nor does he know what will happen unless I tell him, so he’s the perfect person to bring along with you. I can’t say that you’ll win, but I can say that he’ll be a big help,” Maddox explained.
You walked up to Elysian, “Will you help? We need every person we can get right now.”
He smiled gently at you, “It’s because of you I was given a name and given a purpose. Of course I’ll help you in your time of need. It’s not even a question.”
“Thank you,” You sighed with relief, “And thank you, Maddox, for showing us the truth. Even if I’m not fond of the fact you stole our memories in the first place, I at least understand why.”
“Thank you for that, at least,” He responded, “I wish you all the best of luck. May we meet again soon.”
~
It was late at night as you were on the deck, practicing your sword training. You figured that with a war on the horizon, it was best to make sure you brushed up on all your skills, even the weaker ones. You were sure you were alone, until you heard a familiar voice come from behind you.
“How is it that you’re never asleep when you’re supposed to be?” Hongjoong smiled at you, watching you practice.
You stopped and laughed, answering, “I could say the same thing to you, captain. What do you need?”
He was silent for a minute before he spoke up, “Care to talk a walk around the ship with me? I find there’s a lot on my mind… A lot I need to get out.”
“Of course, no problem,” You replied, sheathing your sword, “Let’s go.” The two of you walked slowly, silence filling the air aside from the waves hitting the hull of the ship.
Finally, Hongjoong spoke up, “That… was a lot we learned today, wasn’t it?”
“It was,” You agreed, “But it was as we expected. I helped you escape onto Eden’s ship.”
“(Y/N), you saved my life,” Hongjoong spoke blatantly, but with clear emotion, “I surely would’ve been killed had you not interfered. I know Maddox says we were never meant to have met there, but now that I know, I can’t imagine things having turned out another way. I owe my life to you.”
“You don’t owe me anything, Hongjoong,” You shook your head, “You saved my life back at that auction, as far as I’m concerned, we’re even. You don’t need to give me anything, least of all your life.”
“What if I want to give you something else?” Hongjoong asked, “Not my life, but something close to it?”
“Like what?” You asked, confused as to where he was headed.
“Like my heart.” At those words, you stopped in place and looked at him, seemingly paralyzed at what he just told you.
It felt like time froze still for a moment before you could finally find your voice and say, “What?”
“(Y/N), I don’t think I need to tell you that you’ve become very important to me in the time that you’ve been on this ship,” Hongjoong began, “Of course, all my crew members are important to me, but with you, it’s beyond that. For a long while now, you’ve been the most important person in my life, and now with my memories returned to me… It’s clear. You were always the most important person in my life, you who saved my life, it has always been you. From the moment we first met eyes at the auction, to when we finally faced Elias Sweet and dealt with him for good, to even just recently with Reeves, you were the person I was fighting for the most. I fell in love with you, so deeply, and I can’t afford to hide it any longer.”
“I- But why now?” You asked, trying to regain your bearings, “We’re about to go to war, why would you tell me this now?!”
“Because, if there’s anything those memories taught me, it’s that we are meant to be together,” Hongjoong affirmed, taking your hands in his, “There’s no logical reason to believe that we would’ve met ever again after I got on that ship, but here we are now. There were so many times where things could’ve gone wrong, but they didn’t. Maybe it was Maddox’s doing, maybe it was fate, I don’t care, because I know now that we can make it through this. We’ll survive this war, because the two of us are together, and once we’re together, we can do anything. I believe in us, do you?” By now, you were crying due to the overwhelming emotions.
“Of course I do!” You cried out, holding onto Hongjoong’s hands tightly, “Hongjoong, I love you so much! I just- I just!” You didn’t know what else to say, and good thing too, because Hongjoong took that moment to grab your face with one hand and kiss you deeply, the other hand trailing behind your back to pull you closer. You kissed him back with the same intensity, your arms wrapping around his neck as you pressed your bodies together. The two of you broke apart for air only to kiss again, and again as they only grew more passionate.
Eventually, Hongjoong rested his forehead on yours, whispering, “Stay with me tonight, in my quarters. Please.” You could tell what he meant by that request in his eyes, and you felt your body grow hotter at the thought.
Even so, you still nodded and agreed, whispering back, “I will.” Not wasting a single second, he picked you up in his arms and carried you to his quarters, kicking the door closed behind him.
What happened the rest of that night was between you and him.
#ateez fanfic#ateez fanfiction#ateez imagines#ateez pirate au#ateez scenarios#hongjoong fanfic#seonghwa fanfic#yunho fanfic#yeosang fanfic#san fanfic#mingi fanfic#wooyoung fanfic#jongho fanfic
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get prankt this isn't an angst fic lol ,,
ANYWAY ,, i realized earlier that i could've just been calling 'auditor reader' employer reader this whole time and then i had a funny silly goofy little idea and now we r here,,,lol,,, ill proof read this later but i did this in one go no breaks so . help.
I might continue this later so!! consider this a sort of 'introduction' if u will,,
note ; auditor uses he / she / they pronouns in this bc ive decided im just going to push my propaganda onto all of you <333 also Hank uses he / they / xe
tw ; dissociation, dereality, some light body horror
Bloody Management
"This is out of your jurisdiction. You've wasted enough time here," you seethed dryly, staring down at the shorter being. "You've made no progress and have only proved your operation to be a strain on our relations and resources."
"Out of MY jurisdiction? YOU'VE never even been there before! You think you can just storm in and suddenly kick me out of my own work?" Auditor shot back, hands slamming down on the mahogany desk in front of her.
"Yes, actually, I do," you snapped, eyes narrowing. "I think you're forgetting just who you're speaking to. You've let this drag on for far too long and your ego has grown in tandem with its pointlessness."
Sighing, you leaned back in your chair, pinching the bridge of your nose as you continued. "Look, I understand. You put effort and thought into this little pet project of yours, but the results have all proven zilch. You fucked up, that's fine, but you can't keep meddling with this reality in hopes something will suddenly work again! All you're doing is tearing and poking holes the rest of us will have to deal with later."
"If you just gave me a little more time I could-"
"We've been giving you time. We've given you more time than we've ever given any project like yours," you gave a desperate look, "It's over. You tried and we tried, there's nothing that can be done. If you just worked with us then we could help you."
There was a long silence as they faltered, hands falling into their lap as their gaze followed, landing on the floor.
"And what happens to my Nevada?"
"We'll try and clean it up again. Return it to..some sort of normalcy," you hummed, "Though, with some of those tears in the fabric it'll take a bit longer than anticipated. That..clown, is proving to be rather difficult."
You paused, grin finding it's way onto your face.
"It's been tricky, if you will."
"Not the time."
You gave a 'tsk' in response, shrugging lightly, "I don't regret it."
"You'll be going back to our depths, effective immediately. While this project was a failure, we're still curious to see if there's anything else that can be done in a different time and place."
"And what about you? Are you going to sit all pretty in this fake office for the rest of eternity?" She questioned sarcastically, eyes dragging up to meet yours.
"God, I wish. I mean, seriously, you have no idea how nice it is to have some peace and quiet after dealing with that fuckin' office."
With a dry snicker and -presumably- an eye roll, they finally stood accepting their defeat.
"I presume I'll be seeing you?"
"If your little posse doesn't cause me too much trouble, yes."
"Have fun with that, I do hope it's as grueling as possible," he hummed, turning and striding towards the door to nothing.
"Thanks, was nice seeing you too."
The door peering to the void shuts soundlessly.
.
.
.
"Was the pun really that bad?.."
---
"What do you mean they're just neutral suddenly? It's not like they all just suddenly unionized or sum' shit! There's gotta be something going on," Deimos groaned, irritation dragging onto him and clinging desperately.
"Well- What do you want me to say! I'm just as confused as you are," Sanford huffed back over comms, making a vague gesture with no audience.
Hank stood in the other room, staring down at the few agents that were on their knees with their hands held tight behind their heads. They'd made no attempt to attack Sanford and xem, simply staring in a bit of surprise when the two'd busted in. It'd completely thrown the raid off, leaving them both in a state of stunned confusion. The agent that they'd asked about the sudden change in demeanor just gave some shaky shrug, stammering out that they'd all received an order to not attack under any circumstances from some unknown contact. 'They really just listen to anyone then?..'
It was hard to believe, hard to find any reason or meaning in that lead to any conclusive endings. Which, had lead to a small dispute going nowhere and fast. Hank only picked up on little parts of it, the words being muffled and distorted through the wall. Xe didn't really have much interest in getting a clearer reading of it though, it didn't sound like it meant much.
"Look, I'm just going to try and look for any documents or actual recordings of this apparent 'ghost order,' alright?..." A pause. "Deimos? Are you there? Shit- Of course the line dies now of all times."
The line wasn't dead. It was somewhere else, some-when else.
---
The ground felt cold.
.
.
No, was it warm?
Wait- No no no, it wasn't warm..
.
.
.
Was it even the ground?
.
.
Did it even matter?
.
Deimos could fuzzily recall it. Arguing with Sanford over the line. The points he made exactly didn't seem to ring through the fog of confusion and numb in his mind. Something about the Auditor, the agents, blah bla..something.
He'd been making to say something else when he'd seen it, something off in the corner of his eye. It wasn't anything huge, if you asked him he wouldn't even be able to tell you what it was. There was something wrong, but there wasn't. The ground was cold, but it was warm.
Something was wrong.
Everything is fine.
He'd turned around, looking around for whatever in his vision wasn't right.
That's rude to say, you know.
He'd never found it, something reaching from the depths to grab him.
You're making me sound awfully cruel.
With a groan, he picked himself up off the ground to observe his surroundings. White and black stretched infinitely around him, the 'ground' underneath him was the deepest of not-color while the 'sky' was its blinding twin. A building stood in front of him, a mix of ivory and ink twisted to form its structure. The door faced him, standing tall and straight as a soldier in spite of how tilted and off the world felt.
Before he could even really register it, something was pulling him up off the floor. There were no hands or strings physically attached, nothing sticking from him to drag into the infinite beyond his comprehension, no no. It was something quiet, a ghost or a whisper in his mind that pulled him through the ocean and to shore. The door grew larger- closer. His mind grew blanker. His hand twisted the knob.
Color flooded into his vision finally, the room in front of him coated in it graciously. The floors were a velvet carpeting, a wine red that felt of lavish and glitzy. The walls were lined in bookshelves, each filled to the brim with titles somewhere between poetry and latin white noise where imagination fell. At the head of the room stood a desk, polished mahogany standing tall and still, frozen indefinitely in time. Behind it, you.
Me.
Once again, he was pulled forward. Each step fell in front of the other, unsure of weight behind them and noise that followed suite. He felt half there. Half of a man and half of a void. It was..something.
Not pleasant, not bad.
The ground wasn't cold, wasn't warm.
It just was.
He finds himself meeting your gaze as he plops down into one of the seats in front of you. He finds his neck straining and bowing under phantom limbs that aren't there. He finds his eyes training on yours which stare back pointedly, finds himself between hot and cold. He finds himself sitting down before you as he watches from the window.
There's no window in the room.
"You must be so confused."
Your voice is in front of him, right? That's where you are, so your voice should be coming from there. It isn't though. It's around him somewhere. Even as you tilt your head to the side the noise of your own voice doesn't seem to follow it.
"Don't think too much on this all, alright?"
You mutter something. 'These grunts really weren't made for this- to be here. I'm surprised he even woke up.'
Someone nods in agreement.
"Wh..who are you?"
Is that his voice? It is. It has to be, it fell from his own mouth. He barely even felt it move. Is it his mouth? It has to be.
You pause for a moment, seemingly caught off guard. He doesn't know if its because he spoke or because of what he asked. Nobody clarifies.
"Why don't you call me [name]? That'll be easiest for you. I do apologize for dragging you here rather than appearing there," you hum, leaning forward on your desk. "I just wanted to make sure we had the utmost privacy."
I wanted to make sure you wouldn't be able to forget.
"Now, Deimos," is that his name? "I need to tell you something, I have to work on restoring things for you, so I can't deliver this message to everyone myself in the most..effective of ways. You won't mind filling your friends in for me, right?"
He doesn't answer. He can't. His tongue is lead and his mouth is stuck shut, if he opens it will surely be left that way for the rest of infinity- for the rest of this place, this time. Someone says yes in his voice.
"Good. Now, try to listen carefully..."
---
He wakes up on sand. He's sitting up quickly, stilted as his mind finds his body. His tongue is lighter, teeth separated once more as his jaws are their own entities again. The cliff is still under him, wind passing by him peacefully. The horizon stretches infinite.
The ground is warm, there's no mistaking it.
"Deimos? Are you there?"
He pauses briefly.
"I need to tell you guys something."
#deimos x reader#SORTA???????#I MEAN. U GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS HIS ASS SO LIKE. TAKE THAT AS U WILL...#idk he's definitely in gay love w/ you but like in that 'aha hey bestie what if we kisses and you were a cosmic horror :flushed:'#madness combat imagines#madness combat x reader#madcom imagines#madcom x reader#auditor reader#employer reader#<- gonna be usin that tag too now ig??
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i want to address the “boba fett is catholic” meme i’m seeing in the notes of my post, bc, while hilarious, it’s actually quite an interesting bit of expanded universe history!
from what i understand, the meme comes from someone quoting a snippet from the expanded universe in which boba fett says that he considers sex outside of marriage immoral. which, yeah, is a weirdly catholic thing for him to say. so let me provide some context.
this quote is taken from the short story “the last one standing” by daniel keys moran. daniel keys moran wrote probably some of the strangest prose about fett and was the first writer to really take a crack at his backstory (this was well before aotc when boba was revealed to be a clone), as well as his history with han solo. if you like, uh, smoother characterizations of boba fett, you might not like this version so much: some words to describe moran’s boba fett would be obsessive, paranoid, and disturbed.
anyway, most of moran’s writing (aside from a few snippets that were expanded on but we’ll get to that later) was retconned after aotc, so if you just want to be like, “nope, boba fett never said that shit, never happened,” while still exploring other legends material, then absolutely feel free. but if you want several textually-supported reasons for why he’d say something like that that aren’t being space catholic, read on.
so, first of all, the immediate context: why tf is a bounty hunter talking about extramarital sex at all? well, the context is that boba fett is in jabba’s palace after leia has been captured. she has been sent to his room as a reward (ugh) and he’s trying to persuade her that 1. he doesn’t intend to assault her and 2. she really should just crash in his room for the night anyway bc if she goes back to jabba, it’ll be seen as a sign of disrespect and they’ll both get in trouble. leia is understandably on-edge and mistrusting of him and this is when he says the “sex between those not married is immoral” thing; he’s trying to convince leia that he really isn’t going to touch her.
(for those wondering, he doesn’t. he gives her some blankets to cover herself and lets her sleep in the bed while he spends the night sitting on the floor)
so! if you so wish, you could easily explain the whole thing as boba saying space catholic shit (whether he actually believes it or not) to reassure leia that she’s safe in his room for the night. he says himself that if she were to go back to jabba, jabba would likely take boba’s refusal to touch her as an insult and take retribution against him, so boba has plenty of incentive to try and convince leia to do otherwise.
but wait! what if you’re fine with boba having hang-ups about sex and relationships and just want a reason other than just “space catholicism?” well, friends, the good news is that that reading is even more supported by the text in a way that would later be expanded upon in post-aotc legends content.
though, before we proceed, lemme just slap down a content warning for discussion of drugs, sexual assault, and the intersection thereof.
now, back to “the last one standing.” leia eventually decides to trust fett and the two proceed to have a really awkward slumber party. leia, noting the lengths fett is going to in order to make her feel safe, begins to question what someone like him is doing working for jabba the hutt. they talk about morality for a bit and boba actually seems to enjoy talking to her--up to the point where she says he reminds her a bit of han. he reacts angrily, saying he and han are nothing alike. curious about his reaction, leia keeps pressing. why does he hate han so much? boba responds by saying it’s bc han smuggles spice. leia is like, “dude, seriously? you literally kill people for a living.” boba gets increasingly, uncharacteristically loud and agitated arguing with leia about why smuggling spice is worse than murder and is one of the worst things a criminal could sink to. and then, finally, at the crescendo of their argument, he snaps at her, “If I had been using spice tonight, Leia Organa, perhaps you would not be safe with me in this room.”
so, uh. what the fuck, right? apparently the reason boba hates han is bc han smuggles spice and spice... makes people more likely to be rapists, according to him??? what???
moran doesn’t fully answer these questions in the story, though he drops some major hints--the beginning few scenes show boba as a young man in jail for murdering a man named lenovar, his superior officer in the journeyman protectors, and staunchly refusing to say why other than that lenovar deserved it. this is followed by a scene maybe a couple of years later with boba literally burning a spice lord’s palace to the ground. this is all the context moran provides, but, the story doesn’t end there as later EU writers would keep this peculiar bit of characterization and expand upon its background.
which brings us to the backstory that post-aotc legends writers eventually settled on: when boba was 16, he began to feel dissatisfied with his life as a bounty hunter. he befriended another teenaged bounty hunter who felt the same way: sintas vel. the two of them ended up eloping to concord dawn, his father’s home-planet, and tried to live “normal” lives or as normal as two teenaged former bounty hunters could manage. boba got a job as a journeyman protector, where he was taken under the wing of a superior officer named lenovar; boba and sintas even had a daughter, named ailyn.
for awhile, everything seemed fine, but, of course, this contentment was not to last. lenovar turned out to be a scumbag predator who, after gaining boba and sintas’s trust, sexually assaulted sintas. fearing what might happen to her young family if she tried to retaliate, sintas attempted to keep the whole thing a secret. however, boba eventually found out and immediately ran off to murder the shit out of lenovar. combined with the details from moran’s story, the implication is that lenovar was a spice-user and/or that he attempted to use spice as an excuse for his behavior when boba confronted him. either way, after murdering lenovar, boba was imprisoned for killing his superior officer. however, in an effort to protect sintas, he refused to say why he did it and instead just insisted to his interrogators that lenovar deserved what he got and that he felt no remorse for killing him (retroactively explaining the scene at the beginning of “the last one standing.”)
boba was subsequently exiled from concord dawn and his family, leaving him with bucketloads of unresolved issues regarding relationships, sex, and spice. i would say that it would be perfectly reasonable if not outright supported by legends material to view boba’s apparent disapproval of casual sex in moran’s short story as his own thin self-justification for deeper issues that have nothing to do with space catholicism and everything to do with All That Shit that happened to him and sintas when they were teenagers.
at the end of the day, technically all of legends/the expanded universe has been retconned, so feel free to take as much or as little of this as you’d like for your own personal boba fett canon. i just wanted to provide some alternative interpretations of that line other than just “boba fett happened to be space catholic, i guess”
#boba fett#drugs mention ///#rape mention ///#honestly nothing is canon anymore so just choose whatever explanation you like best and run with it#up to and including ''he literally never said that shit''#i'm just incapable of NOT infodumping about legends!boba fett lmao
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and bc i have no self control. #41 kisses to shut them up for rhodeytony
So this one spiraled so quickly, because I also have no self control! And now it’s a 3.4k words of 5+1 for Rhodey and Tony’s first kisses together. Hope you like it :)
The first time is something of a joke. Tony is doing that rambling thing like always, hands moving around rapidly and coming dangerously close to smacking passersby in the face. He gets more than a few dirty looks for it, but he doesn’t seem to be noticing. Rhodey isn’t even sure what he’s ranting about anymore. Maybe one of his professors, or that annoying guy in his physics class. All he does know is that he wants to get to the cafeteria before they run out of pizza and Tony walks slow when he’s talking. So Rhodey grabs him by the wrist when his hand flies in front of him again, spinning him around and planting his lips firmly against Tony’s for just a moment. It does the job of stunning him into silence, but it also makes him freeze completely on the sidewalk. Rhodey keeps walking, and Tony has to run to catch back up.
“What was that for?” Tony asks, eyes wide.
Rhodey shrugs, “Had to shut you up somehow.”
Tony makes an offended squawking sound, hitting Rhodey with the too long sleeve of his sweatshirt. Rhodey’s sweatshirt, technically.
“That’s rude,” Tony says. “You’re getting me ice cream to make it up to me.”
Rhodey laughs, slinging his arm over Tony’s shoulders to pull him along. “Whatever you want, Tones.”
______________
If the first was a joke, the second is just the repeat performance. Between Rhodey’s basic training and Tony’s recent and sudden rise to CEO, it’s been almost three months since the last time they’ve seen each other. Basic has him questioning everything and feeling like a bit of failure. He should have been able to handle it better. The homesickness, the pressure, the constant grind of work. It’s been the dream for so long that he doesn’t know what to do with the feeling he has now.
“Maybe I should quit.”
Tony snorts inelegantly, “Pretty sure that’s called deserting and it’s a crime.”
“So I’ll go on the run,” Rhodey argues, like it’s a perfectly reasonable response. “I’ll move to Tahiti or Fiji or one of those other islands. Wait, you have a private island, right? I could go there, and if anyone comes for me, I’ll just take a rowboat out to sea, and they won’t have any jurisdiction on the water to arrest me. I’m pretty sure that’s a thing. Right? It’s -”
Tony’s lips are a little sticky from the beer he’s been drinking, and his hands are warm where they cup Rhodey’s cheeks. He doesn’t understand what’s happening or why, and at first he can’t think enough to react. When he can think again he can’t decide whether to push him off or kiss him back, and he still hasn’t reached a conclusion when Tony pulls away. He doesn’t know if it lasted two seconds or two minutes, and it’s confusing to realize that he isn’t sure which he would prefer.
“Wow, that is effective,” Tony grins. “Thought maybe it was just me it works on, but I should try that on board members sometime if it’s that good.”
Rhodey gapes at him when he connects the pieces. “Seriously, Tony? That happened two years ago, and I’m in the middle of a crisis right now.”
"No, you were spiralling and now you’re not," Tony says simply. "Situation resolved by not talking about it."
"That's not how that works."
"Of course it is. How do you think most fires get put out? By putting a lid on them until they die."
"Alright, ignoring that that's not even true, what the hell does it even mean?"
"It's very true, and what it means is that I have put a lid on this irrational fire, so it doesn't have the chance to spread and ignite the rest of your life. Containment, honeybear. It's about containment."
"That's a terrible analogy," Rhodey says, and Tony tosses his hands in the air.
"What do you want from me on the spot?"
They spend most of the night trying to come up with something better, laughing and drinking the rest of the beer in Tony's fridge, until Rhodey forgets that he was ever stressed in the first place.
______________
Their third kiss is an accident. It happens somewhere in between Rhodey deciding that he hates Tony's new boyfriend and him realizing exactly why that is.
He comes back from six months overseas, and it's a few days ahead of what he was expecting. He told Tony Thursday, but his plane touches down in California on Tuesday morning, and he gives the taxi driver Tony's address without a second thought. Tony likes surprises, and he has no reason to think this might be a bad one.
He uses his key to let himself in, fully knowing that Tony won't be awake yet to answer the door. The first traces of sun are just starting to filter in through the windows, and Rhodey sets his duffle bag down near the door before moving into the kitchen. Tony's refrigerator is nearly barren, but there are a few eggs and a green pepper that would be rotten by tomorrow that he can make due with. He finds an onion, too, and falls into a rhythm while dicing vegetables.
It's this kind of thing that he misses when he's away. He misses having a kitchen and making what he wants in it, even if this isn't his kitchen or his first choice of food. But he misses the simplicity of it all. Life on the base seems alternate between too fast and too slow, but this is all his own pace.
He hears footsteps on the stairs a little after the eggs hit the pan, and he glances over his shoulder to watch Tony shuffle into the room while rubbing his tired eyes. If he had stayed turned around a little longer, their third kiss wouldn't have happened at all. By the time Tony opens his eyes, Rhodey's back is to him again.
Instead of instantly reacting, Tony slowly wanders over and puts his hand on Rhodey's shoulder. The words are mumbled when he says, "You're up way too early," and Rhodey doesn't have time to process how strange the sentence is, because he's being kissed the second his head turns. Not the shut up kind of kiss or even that sort of friendly peck he's seen people do sometimes. It's the kind where Tony's tongue is slipping between his lips, and his hand is wandering lower. The kind that friends don't share, but lovers definitely do.
Rhodey falls into it without question.
The spatula clatters to the floor from his hand, and Tony laughs into the kiss before pulling back. There's a grin and a joke on his lips that's quickly replaced by dawning horror.
"Rhodey?" Tony squeaks out. His hand flies up to cover his mouth, and through it Rhodey hears, "Oh, shit." He looks down at the complete lack of space between their bodies, dropping the hand to raise them both in front of himself like a defense as he backs away a couple of steps. "Fuck, I'm so fucking sorry. I thought - you weren't supposed to be here yet. Thursday. That's - you said Thursday. Didn't you?"
It's like ice water with how quickly the warmth of that kiss leaves his body.
Rhodey raises an eyebrow and plays at unaffected. "I did, yeah. Seems like you should attack an intruder instead of kissing them, though."
Tony's cheeks turn a vibrant shade of red, and he runs a still shaky hand through his hair.
"I thought you were someone else," he sheepishly admits. "It's just that from behind you, um, well you look a lot like Ryan, and he wasn't in bed still when I got up, so I came down here, and, uh, I guess you know the rest of that story."
Ryan, Rhodey's mind bitterly repeats. The guy Tony's spent the last three months talking about on the phone and in his letters. It's always about him in some way. He told me the funniest story yesterday, Rhodey or Isn't he so romantic, platypus? But Tony seems happy, so he fakes a laugh at a story that definitely isn't funny retold and agrees that string quartets are romantic instead of horribly cliché. He helps him plan dates when it's Tony's turn, because apparently that's yet another adorable thing they do together.
He just barely suppresses the sigh before saying, "Don't worry about it, Tones. It's all good."
Tony looks relieved, and after an awkward minute or two they fall back into their normal conversation like it never happened. They talk about the missions Rhodey has flown for and the designs Tony has been working on between bites of burned eggs and coffee.
Neither of them ever mention that Rhodey kissed him back.
______________
Tony and Rhodey are both drunk for the fourth. The music is loud at the club, and the air is a smoky haze. It's someone's birthday, he thinks, but he can't really remember anymore by the fifth shot of tequila.
He leans back against the bar on his elbows, watching in drunken amusement while Tony tries to put the moves on someone to hold up his end of the bet. The guy looks like he isn’t quite sure what’s happening, and Rhodey laughs into the rim of his glass. All he needs is one kiss, and Rhodey will be out the contents of his wallet. He isn't even sure what those contents are, and Tony wouldn't let him check before the handshake. It could be anywhere from a nickel to fifty bucks, he figures, which is worth it to watch this complete trainwreck.
It takes another ten minutes of flirting before Tony finally gives up and comes back over to the bar.
“Loser,” Rhodey teases. “What happened to having ‘game so good a straight man would fall to his knees?’”
Tony flips him off and steals the glass from his hand. “He has a girlfriend, which is the only reason it didn’t happen.”
“He didn’t even realize that you were flirting with him, did he?” Rhodey laughs, and Tony pouts pitifully.
“The no touching rule wasn’t fair.”
“A good bet doesn’t involve actual harassment,” Rhodey reasons, just like he did earlier in the night. “If you can’t get them to kiss you by flirting with just words, they wouldn’t want you touching them in the first place. It’s called consent.”
Tony rolls his eyes, “I do not need to be taught about consent. I am the king of consent. Enthusiastic, resounding consent, even.” He pauses, and there’s a dangerous look in his eyes when he narrows them at Rhodey. “Okay, I know that this about to go against everything I just said, but it’s you, and we don’t have rules, right?”
“What?”
“Just say yes.”
“Yes to what?”
Tony leans in with enough time that if Rhodey really wanted to, he could pull away. He could put his hand over Tony’s mouth or step to the side or simply tell him no and Tony wouldn’t do it.
But he doesn’t do any of those things.
He lets Tony cup the back of his neck to tilt his head to the right angle, and he threads his hand into Tony’s hair in return. His lips taste like the vodka and cranberry juice from the stolen glass, until Rhodey has kissed him so thoroughly that he can’t taste it anymore.
“There,” Tony says, grinning proudly like he’s just done something exceptionally smart. His breath is coming quickly, and Rhodey’s head is spinning with the thought that he’s the one that did that to him. “I got a straight man to kiss me. Pay up.”
Rhodey laughs, full-bodied with his head tilted back. “No, man. You definitely didn’t.”
Tony’s still a little too drunk to fully understand what he means by that, and he takes it as if Rhodey’s saying that he stole the kiss, rather than earned it. He spends most of the night after that trying to get him to kiss him again on his own accord, but Rhodey doesn’t want another one like that. He wants Tony’s soft-eyed gaze on him, and his body held tight in his arms. He wants to hear him say the same words he’s saying right now, but to have him actually mean it when he says the word please. Like he won’t be able to live for another second without Rhodey’s lips on his.
He doesn’t want the joke anymore, but he knows he won’t ever get to have the real thing.
______________
Rhodey is half asleep for kiss number five, and he isn’t even quite sure that it actually happens. He’s lying in a hospital bed somewhere in Germany, he thinks, and machines are beeping all around him. He can’t really remember what brought him here as he drifts in and out. There was some kind of fight - that much is obvious. He sees flashes of bullets in the sky, flames, and a rapidly plummeting altitude reading. Was it a mission gone wrong? An attack they weren’t expecting? One of the machines ticks a little faster when he tries to clear his head enough to think about it, and then darkness takes over again.
When he partially wakes the next time, there’s something warm and solid in his hand. It shifts a little, brushing lightly in circles over his skin, and it takes him a longer amount of time than it should to realize that it’s another hand. But when he does, he knows without a doubt who it belongs to, and the thought sends him back into sleep with a warm feeling in his chest.
He finds out later that he was unconscious for three days, and Tony hardly leaves his side for a minute of it. Rhodey doesn’t want to say how that makes him feel, so he falls back on what he does know how to say.
“You should really at least go back to the hotel to take a shower. You’re starting to smell, man,” he says after the doctor leaves the room.
Tony gives him a weak laugh, running his hand through his hair and grimacing at the oily texture. "Maybe in a little bit. You just woke up."
Rhodey shifts against the pillows, tilting his head to get a good look at him. His clothes might be the same ones he showed up here in, all wrinkled with a coffee stain on one of his sleeves. The circles under his eyes are darker than he's ever quite seen them before, and he looks too pale.
Tony isn't supposed to look like that.
He's supposed to be sunlight embodied, all tanned skin and bright eyes and fluid motion. But this Tony is slumped over in his chair, small and fragile looking like the wrong word could destroy him completely. This Tony offers him a brave face and a delicate smile that doesn't reach his eyes, and Rhodey can't stand it. Can't stand that it's his own fault he looks like that.
Stretching his arm out, he turns over his hand to open his palm. The movement tugs at his injured shoulder, but he grits his teeth to hide the pain and it's worth it to have Tony's hand back in his where it belongs. He squeezes gently, and Tony squeezes back.
"You almost died," Tony whispers. "You're not allowed to die."
"I won't do it again," Rhodey says, even though they both know he can't make that promise.
Tony nods, and for now that can be enough. He switches the topic to something else so they don't have to talk about it anymore. So Tony doesn't have to say what the last three days felt like, and Rhodey doesn't have to admit that his last thought before the plane went down was regret that he'd never get to have this again.
Tony makes him laugh until his battered ribs are aching with it, until they've talked about everything and nothing and sleep is pulling at Rhodey again. It's hard to keep his eyes open, and he fights it until he can't any longer.
A hand runs over his hair, and down the side of his face to linger on his cheek. Rhodey leans into the touch with closed eyes as Tony murmurs, "I'll come back tomorrow. Don't you dare do anything stupid like dying while I'm gone."
He feels the warmth of Tony's breath on his skin the moment before Tony kisses him. It's a barely there, wisp of a thing, right on the corner of his mouth. There one instant, then gone the next. It's the last thing he feels before slipping into sleep again.
______________
“I’m so old,” Tony groans, flopping down on the beach chair next to Rhodey’s. “Ancient. Decrepit. On death’s door.”
“You’re thirty,” Rhodey says, and he laughs at the pout on Tony’s face. “I’m a year older than you. What does that make me then?”
“A senior citizen, just like me.”
Rhodey lifts his beer from where the bottle was balancing in the sand and clinks it with the bottle in Tony’s hand. “Welcome to the club then. We’re happy to have you.”
Tony kicks off his shoes and tucks his feet under his thighs as he settles back in the chair. It’s quiet out here on the beach, away from the crowds and noise from the party. The crashing of the waves and the distant thrum of music are the only sounds, and they watch the water in the still of the night for a while.
“Don’t you want to get back to the party?” Rhodey asks softly, unwilling to break their bubble of peace. “It’s for you.”
Tony shakes his head. “I like it better out here.”
“Want me to kick everyone out for you?”
Tony looks over his shoulder at the house, filled to the brim and lights flashing from every window. He leans over the inch between their chairs and rests his head on Rhodey’s shoulder. “No, they can have their fun in there, and I can have mine here.”
Rhodey cards his hand through Tony’s hair, feeling warm despite the cool breeze. “This is fun for you, huh? Sitting in silence?”
“It’s always good with you,” Tony murmurs, so quiet that Rhodey almost loses it to the ocean. He’ll always be thankful that he didn’t.
He lets his hand go lower, slipping from his hair to run his thumb along Tony’s jaw, and it would be so easy, he thinks, to kiss him right now. To tilt Tony’s chin up and turn his head to the side just a little. To brush their lips together, slowly at first, then steadily growing more desperate as he gives in to everything he’s wanted for so long. He thinks of the way Tony would sound, if he would sigh or moan or whimper under his mouth. Tony would be sticky sweet from the buttercream on the cupcakes from earlier, and Rhodey would taste sugar on his tongue.
“Rhodey,” Tony whispers, looking up at him. The moon is reflected in the deep brown of his eyes, and Rhodey wants to keep this image of him in him in his mind forever. “Can I tell you what I wished for?”
“Won’t come true if you do,” Rhodey whispers back.
“I think it’s the only way it might,” Tony answers, and he seems even closer than he was before.
“What did you wish for?”
Tony’s cheeks are flushed, and Rhodey thinks for a moment that he’s going to lose his nerve to say whatever it is. He’s ready for the joke instead, but it never comes.
“For you to kiss me,” Tony says with an unsteady breath. “For it to mean something when you do.”
Rhodey slides his hand a little higher, and he strokes across Tony’s cheekbone. He doesn’t miss the way that Tony’s eyes flicker down to his lips. “And what do you want it to mean?”
“Everything.”
“Everything,” Rhodey repeats, and Tony smiles, soft and unsure. “I think I can manage that.”
______________
Years later, Tony still likes to tease Rhodey about their first kiss, except now it's become their thing. The interrupted sentences sometimes get finished after and sometimes don't because kissing Tony is more important than whatever it was that he had to say in the first place.
He loses count of what number they’re on. One thousand or one million, it could never be enough. They have all kinds of kisses now. Early morning, sleep-hazed kisses, and quick, little pecks on the way out the door. Good night kisses that turn passionate and desperate as often as they stay innocent and sweet. Reluctant ones when Tony is mad at him for something silly, lingering ones in apology.
Each one still means everything.
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You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.
[cracks knuckles] if u insist
nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van
'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg
5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible
noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her
i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years
i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.
i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years
'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day
tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad
tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you
joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'
it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped
joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.
nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2
wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line
on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'
i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job
'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺
noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime
joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.
sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.
i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong
i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years
joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years
joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE
joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you
joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops
theyre forgiving af
moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???
nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?
alright andy you got me there
joe texts like my aunt
i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.
the drowning sequence was cool
copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great
ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam
nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?
it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy
nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her
pinstripe suit guy!
joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile
andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho
i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one
also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.
on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way
tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.
anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10
i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl
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