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guacameowle · 3 years

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Jumin Han’s Bad End 2 DLC - Notes / Opinion

Y’all know me. I have to take notes for everything I play or read or watch. I can’t help it. Here we have Jumin Han’s Bad End 2 DLC. The infamous bad end. The red shoes bad end. The “kinky” bad end, to some. Not my favorite bad end, but a memorable one. With that said, let’s dive in! Spoilers ahead!

Episode 1

This DLC has multiple endings! Interesting. Depending on how I answer will determine which end I get. This has me thinking there may be a way to get Jumin back onto a healthier relationship track? I will eventually aim to achieve both endings, though.

Jumin’s hand is fucking HUGE. MASSIVE. WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING HIM? Please hold while I scream at Kristan (jalaqueeno) about this. Holy shit.

It’s been one month since Jumin went to work. One whole month! Mr. Jumin Workaholic Han hasn’t gone to work in ONE MONTH! This man has made it his sole mission to keep you locked up & stay with you. Dude, like… why are you so obsessed with me~?

MANSION? They’re not in the penthouse anymore? I mean… there are worse cages to be kept in.

I am absolutely playing the answers that subtly suggest I am not ok with this new forced live-in situation.

HE’S TRACKING HOW MANY STEPS I’VE TAKEN. Wait until this man finds out I hate walking the mile…

Jumin continues to call this a game. Says he has a therapist on standby. Does he know that HE can use the therapist? In fact, I highly recommend it.

He says you can leave at any time. Color me suspicious. I don’t believe him for one second. How far is this “game” going?

MY PRECIOUS BABY DARLING SWEETIE PIE TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD WHOLESOME BEAUTY PERFECT CUPCAKE ELIZABETH 3RD HAS ARRIVED!

According to Jaehee, MC has been with Jumin for two months now.

Interesting how Jaehee makes a point to mention the mansion being untouched as this is where Jumin keeps his childhood toys. He brought you where he keeps his toys. Does he really see all of this as a game & you’re a toy? Can he snap out of it if you call for the game to end, or will there be backlash?

Some of these answer choices feel tricky. I’m trying to gently weasel my way out of this “game” without hurting anyone.

“Don’t say that to my master.” Listen, Jumin is my favorite man in this game, but that answer option physically made me cringe. Me? Call a man master? I could never. Not me. Not this bitch.

Wow. Ok. All this stuff with Jumin’s mom is moving fast. I can already see if he actually does lose her, it may make him hold onto MC that much more/harder. Maybe.

Woah woah woah. I know Jumin is acting a little suspicious & out of sorts, BUT AIN’T NO ONE MARRYING HIM EXCEPT ME. ALL RIGHT? I’ll fight. I know where to get a bomb…

Excuse me? A fitness trainer? Yeah........ about that. I’m going to have to leave. Sorry this situation didn’t work out between us Juju. Best of luck, though!

Episode 2

My room is kind of cute! Wait, why the fuck aren’t Jumin & I sharing a room? If I’m locked up & tracked, you better believe I’m sleeping next to that dick.

Send a message to space? The fuck?

Oh. Duh.

“I heard that obsession comes from anxiety.” DING DING DING DING.

Omg Seven. You can’t just ask me to open my box. I’m seeing another man...

LONG HAIRED JUMIN?????

Jumin really didn’t have one woman in his life who wasn’t cold or weird to him. I know we already knew from his route he had a difficult upbringing. But I hadn’t expected them to dive into that aspect for this DLC but I can see how there’s the connection.

I told him I wanted to be alone to see if he’d respect boundaries.

OH SHIT THAT CHAPTER ENDED SO QUICK. DID I FUCK UP?!

Episode 3

So are we meant to see this adult Jumin, playing this “game” with MC, as him regressing within himself & falling back to enjoying fantasy? Avoiding reality? Something he didn’t allow himself to do as an actual child? He didn’t understand why people indulge in magic, fantasy, make-believe as a kid. Now he’s vastly overshot the mark to the point that this fantasy life with MC has become his “reality.”

DO NOT GIVE THIS BABY BOY WINE, I SWEAR TO GOD.

Omg. Little Jumin is so cute. I will fight everyone to protect him.

This woman done fucked up. Look at this child, you’ve given him anxiety. He doesn’t know if you want him to be mechanical or a normal kid. Jesus. All this Work Work Work No Emotion Work Only No Feelings bullshit is her fault. Jumin’s only doing what he was taught. He was told this is all he’s good for, all he was meant for.

“I feel like I am a tool. Sometimes I want to be treated like a son.” STOP. IF THIS GAME MAKES ME CRY. I’M GONNA FIGHT SOMEONE.

IF Y’ALL DON’T GIVE THIS LITTLE BOY THE LOVE & AFFECTION & CARE HE DESERVES

Jumin is obsessed with grape juice. Grows up to be obsessed with wine. Y’all made him an alcoholic.

“I am not like her. I will not be cold. I will be warm to my family…” JUMIIIIIN. THIS LITTLE BOY IS TRYING SO HARD! IT IS POSSIBLE JUMIN! AIM FOR YOUR GOOD & NORMAL ENDINGS!

SLEEPY JUMIN HAN CG

OH FUCK

OH FUCK ME

OH HELLO HUSBAND GODDAMN YOU LOOKIN’ CUTE AS FUCK

LET ME HOLD YOU JUMIN. YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED & HELD & CARED FOR!

I think you have to choose the answers that gently pry you away from Jumin? He can’t force this relationship. It can’t be controlled by him. It isn’t a game. He needs to come to that realization, but he’s really not making that connection...

“I have never been involved in a deal outside a form of give-and-take.” Oh, that hurt. He doesn’t trust you to stay with him unless he can offer you something? His money/extravagance/keeping you in this “game” you started with him & him playing into it is what he has to do to keep you with him.

“Please show me that you love me. I want to know what love is.” Insert Explicit MC x Jumin Fanfic Here. I’ll show you, Jumin. I’ll show you all night long.

*Jumin snuggled closer* In my own personal canon, that means we FUCKED. SLOWLY. GENTLY. ROMANTICALLY.

Episode 4

The creepy lullaby music started up. Shit is about to go down.

Omg is this butler going to lock me in the basement?

Lmao did I fuck up with the “what’s a cage doing here?” reply? How was I supposed to know there wasn’t actually a cage there? No Jumin, I don’t want a cage. …. at least not for me, but we can discuss that later.

SHE WOULD LOCK HIM IN THE BASEMENT? That’s it. I’m fighting everyone. Stay behind me Jumin, I’ll protect you.

“Let me talk to her! I’d like a word with her!” LET ME AT HER, JUMIN. I HAVE SOME SHIT TO SAY. SHE’S DYING. I HAVE A SHORT WINDOW. LET ME AT HER.

Not little boy Jumin Shawshank Redemptioning his way out of the basement omggggg

JUMIN YOU WANNA FUCK? NOW? This man is sending me through whirlwind of emotions.

OH SHIT. I’m torn between the “whisper in his ear” option or the “let’s change our roles for just today” because as y’all may know, I enjoy being in charge.

Me: “Let’s change our roles…” Jumin: “Uhhh maybe we should leave.” Darling, you know you’re a submissive. It’s ok. No judgement.

FADE TO BLAAAAACK. THEY FUCKIN’.

I’M HOOTIN’ & HOLLERING. After the fade the black I said I would stay in my own clothes & Jumin says, “They’re dirtier than you would think.” DID THIS MAN JUST CUM EVERYWHERE? LMAAAOOOO

Happy End!

Ayyy we did it, lads! Unlocked the happy ending first. Even though we already gave Jumin a happy ending in that basement, you know what I’m sayin’~

LMFAOOOOO JUMIN STILL CAN’T DRIVE LMFAOOOO

Wait, turned our backs on everything? How the fuck is this the happy end? Happy for who? Jumin?

So… what the fuck was that?

The good ending just reenforces this “only us” narrative? The good ending is that this “game” Jumin & MC are playing doesn’t end? Nothing resolves. He doesn’t mend any relationships. There’s no healing or moving on. He exerts more of his control on MC & takes more drastic measures to ensure they’re together.

WAIT. DID WE JUST FUCKING ABANDON ELIZABETH 3RD TOO? ABSOLUTELY NOT. THIS ENDING SUCKS. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? FUCK THAT. PISS OFF, JUMIN HAN. I WON’T HAVE THAT BULLSHIT. YOU DID NOT JUST TURN INTO A PET ABANDONER RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FUCKING FACE. I HATE IT. NO. I’M OUT.

The CG was hot, though. Jumin in black on black on black? AND GLOVES?! Hell yeah. That’s a whole meal right there. Delicious.

Episode 1 (Attempt 2)

Well, time to try to get the bad end (????) now I guess. Maybe the bad end is that this game of their’s actually does break. That’s what I’m hoping for at least.

Jumin already making jokes about switching roles. Jumin, my love. I am more than happy - extremely willing & eager actually - to be in charge here.

Pretending to want all of this ‘being a possession’ nonsense is making me uncomfyyyy.

Episode 2 (Attempt 2)

“Do something Jumin wouldn’t like” Lmaooo it calls Zen. HAHAHAHAHA

I think Zen’s voice acting is some of the most expressive, in this whole game.

Ah, so then I guess turning on the computer let’s you talk to Yoosung.

Not Jumin deliberately cutting my call. The audacity.

Jumin, possessiveness can sometimes be cute. But in this case, I’m not having it. Not interested.

All the toys in the world didn’t keep Jumin entertained. BUT THIS PUSSY DOES.

Episode 3 (Attempt 2)

Flew through that one just choosing the options I didn’t choose before. Didn’t seem to glean any new information except the fact that Jumin no longer has a desire to form a family, says it entirely depends on how badly MC wants a family. Continues that narrative of, if MC wants it, he will provide it... to keep her.

Episode 4 (Attempt 2)

So we’re just going to leave gold bars in that safe?

Happy End Again????

It says I got Happy End again, even though I chose entirely different answers & went along with being Jumin’s possession...

OH WAIT, IT IS DIFFERENT!

I can’t believe my first meeting with Jumin’s mother is after he rawed me in the basement & had me put on a fantasy fairy tale princess dress to make our escape. Omfg. Ma’am, your son’s cum is still dripping out of me, please give me a few minutes to freshen up first. Goddamn.

Jumin’s mom is named Carolyn!

I can’t believe I’m in the middle of a family argument while Jumin’s cum glues my thighs together.

She ain’t sick. She’s lying. I’m calling it.

“Simple - make him soft” Jumin: “Like mashed potato?” LIKE MASHED POTATO? FIRST OF ALL, JUMIN SAYING ‘MASHED POTATO’ IS SO FUCKING CUTE I WANNA SCREAM. Secondly I meant, make him soft as in help him let down some barriers & let people in.

“I heard sons are psychologically bound to be attracted to women reminiscent of their mothers.” Ok yes, that may be true but you don’t have to remind me. Bleh. Stop.

“If my consort is to leave me one day, I will be scarred for the rest of my life.” I am sad for him. So sad.

ONE BILLION, TO BREAK UP WITH JUMIN? WOMAN, YOU ARE SOMETHING ELSE.

The “mind if I touch it” option fucking sent me. I’m laughing so hard. It is 1am. I might wake up my neighbor! I chose the “…..” option though. I’m sticking with Jumin through this. Let’s see what happens.

… I’ll loop back & choose the money if I can though to see what chaos occurs.

“This is exactly what people mean when they say, ‘So not cool.’” JUMIN. NOW IS NOT THE TIME LMFAOOOO

Jumin went back to work. All right, that’s progress. He renovated the basement on a happier note. Ok ok, small progress.

“Now I wish to paint this entire place with our love.” TIME TO CHRISTEN EVERY ROOM WITH SEEEEX

THAT CG!!!!! AAAHHHHHHH!!!! WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!

Looping back to choose more options for this episode...

CALLED JUMIN’S MOM AN OLD HAG & JUMIN LIKED WHEN I DID THAT LMAOOOO. I would like to call her a lot of things.

Final thoughts:

Long story short (too late), this DLC reenforces that this is a Bad Ending path, in which you won’t find a fix for Jumin, won’t find a way to get him back on track to his true good end. And that’s ok! This is a bad end after all! Though both endings are listed as “good” or “happy” endings, they’re still set in this twisted relationship, this weak form of love, Jumin believes is real. He calls it a game, says a therapist is on standby, says MC can leave any time she wants, yet when she chooses options that distances herself, suggests Jumin pay more attention to something other than her, or shows she’d like more freedom, he immediately blocks that path in some way. Even when choosing all the options that don’t give in to the plaything/being controlled role, the conclusion is Jumin reenforcing his control harder - you both escape together to be alone, neglecting everyone & everything in your life, & Jumin insists all he has to do is take care of you in various ways - to give you everything - to keep you with him. Even following the confrontation with Jumin’s mother & turning down the option to leave Jumin for money, it shows how far Jumin will go to keep MC. He truly believes he has to provide everything (money, security, possessions, etc.) in exchange for her love, her company, her willingness to be with him. This man has slowly been broken over & over again over the course of his life & he’s finally given in to these poor teachings & selfish encouragements, & has convinced himself what he’s found is full love where he provides anything & everything to keep MC’s interest in him. A clear give & take relationship. A contract. A game. And he’s not about to let that go.

Personally, while this path isn’t my favorite for Jumin, I was still absolutely impressed with the two different ways they had this particular Bad End play out. An emotional read from start to finish & back again.

#I flew through that so quick whew #Jumin Han #mm #mysme #mystic messenger #Jumin Han Bad End 2 #Bad End 2 #DLC #Bad End 2 DLC #spoilers #spoiler #mysme spoiler #mysme spoilers #After End #Jumin Han DLC #Route Notes #text post #long post #Meowle Mumbles

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perhapsthanatos · 3 years

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10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

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gingerwritess · 5 years

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I’m really drunk and your reader Loki drunk fix is like my actual life right now minus I’m alone and drunk lmao

“Your…nose, Lucky.”

Loki’s sigh is royal.

“What about my nose?”

“It’s cute,” you giggle, rolling over and pressing your index finger to the tip of his nose. “It looks evil, though…still wanna kiss it.”

You do—with a very loud, over-exaggerated smooch.

“Can you go to sleep now?” Blanching, he wipes off the tip of his nose. “My nose will still be here in the morning, we’ll see how you feel about it then.”

“M’gonna still love it,” you mumble—and then pull your shirt off.

“Why…”

“I want to be free,” you sigh, stretching your arms over your head. “C’mon, you too.”

“I’m never allowing you to drink my mead again.”

Sure, he’s grumbling, but a few seconds later you’re seeing double—double foggy but impeccably chiselled eight-packs, that is.

“Tha’s mine,” you mumble, and your hand goes bumpbumpbumpbump as it drags over his stomach, a drunk giggle erupting into the dim room. “Where’d you get your abs?”

Loki blinks, pausing his attempts to pull the blankets up to your chin. “Uh…I’d have to say they’re from excessive training.”

“Oh, like exercise, mmm.”

“Sure.” He chuckles when you fling the covers off again and try to roll out of bed, only to be caught and plopped right back on the pillows by your lovely boyfriend. “Can you please go to sleep now?”

“Stay with me, eight-pack.” Your hand latches around his wrist.

“Is that all I am to you? My abs?”

“Duh, you sexy piece of meat,” you giggle sleepily, and you lurch forward suddenly to wrap your arms around his waist, squishing your cheek against his abs. “Comfy, too. C’mon, I wanna use you as a pillow.”

“I’m…offended,” he sighs, climbing into bed beside you, your happy little squeal making his heart somersault. “Being a pillow was never the intended use of a strong core, but here we are…”

He knows you’re going to drool all over him tonight, but the way you snuggle up against his cool skin stops his breath in his throat.

“What’d you train for then, not being my pillow?” You poke him a couple times, grinning when he squirms—ticklish, no matter how hard he tries to deny it. “You’re real good at it, lucky ducky.”

Ignore the name, get you to fall asleep. Simple.

“Ah…wars.” He smoothes a hand over your head. “Training for battles and raids and wars, anything I needed to use to protect myself, the people I love, and my home.”

“So…have y’killed anyone, Lucky?”

A lump catches in his throat.

You innocent little human. Daft, utterly stupid and clueless, getting yourself into a situation like this with a person like him, trusting him to care for you, but still so innocent.

Asking him to stay? Hugging him like this?

Stupid, did he mention?

“You know the answer to that,” he murmurs, thumb brushing over your cheek. “The more you think about it, the less you’ll want me.”

“Okay.”

Your arms around him tighten and you smile into his abs.

“You’re still a good pillow.”

“Thank you.” He smiles down at your squished-up cheek. “Will you please sleep now?”

“Sheesh, fine.”

Dim moonlight fills the room as his thumb brushes over your jaw, a gentle breeze leading the curtains lining the open window in a waltz…he’s stuck praying it helps you fall asleep quicker.

As quick as possible, actually, because he really doesn’t know how much longer he can last before completely losing his mind.

Your breathing steadies after a few minutes, slow, warm, open-mouth breaths fluttering over his skin.

“Goodnight,” he whispers, prying your arms from around his waist. “I’ll check on you in the morning, my love.”

He’s nearly to the door when you sit straight up and screech after him “WAIT, GIMME YOUR EVIL NOSE—”

This. close.

Turning back around with a half-hearted sigh, he trudges back to lean on the edge of the mattress, bowing his head for you to do as you please with his, uh…evil nose.

“Gosh, everything on your face is pretty.” You heave a dreamy sigh, draping your arms around his shoulders. “I’m gonna kiss it all.”

“Mhm. You’re going to be in so much pain tomorrow.”

“Don’t care. Tonight was fun.”

“Just kiss me and go to sleep,” Loki laughs, bumping the tip of his nose into yours.

“Don’t rush me,” you huff with a frown. “Gotta take it all in. ‘Purdy face.”

“Just get it over with.”

Face scrunched into quite possibly the cutest grin Loki has ever seen, you place both your hand gently on his cheeks, gazing up at him as he leans over you.

You squish his cheeks together, giggling like a child when his lips pucker and he frowns.

“I have a reputation I need to maintain, you know.”

He doesn’t move, though.

You jump forward and plant a kiss on his forehead. “Love you here, pretty boy.”

“Again, is all I am to you my looks??”

Your mead-stained lips trail down the bridge and smack against the tip of his nose. “Love ya here, too, mister sexy-pants.”

“I don’t approve of this,” he jokingly scoffs, still not even trying to move away from your reach. “Our love should be so much more than physical—”

One loud smooch lands on his lips.

“Really love you here. Over ‘n over ‘n over.”

Twenty some-odd more little kisses pepper over his lips, touching down neatly on the corner of his mouth and venturing down to make sure his chin gets the love it deserves, too.

“You’re fuckin’ beautiful,” you mumble into his lips, still squishing his face between your hands. “I just can’t believe I get you, like, whenever.”

“Beauty is fleeting,” he whispers, weakly trying to brush away your compliments.

Your drunken gaze turns serious and you pull away to stare at him, eyebrows furrowed. “But you gotta know how beautiful y’really are, Lucky.”

“I’m lucky,” he repeats—if you weren’t drunk, maybe you would’ve caught the sentiment, but for now, you just burst out laughing again before kissing him.

The compliments are new.

“Beautiful, pretty, beautiful angel…” you’re mumbling again, fingers stroking along his cheekbones and over the bridge of his nose. “With ‘n evil nose. Looks anger-y, Lucky.”

“My nose looks angry?” He laughs, bringing up a finger to bop your own.

“Needs a smooch.”

“Ah.”

His eyes flutter closed when you lean forward to “smooch” the tip of his nose…again.

You sit back and decide that no, that beautifully sculpted nose needs at least two more smooches, but when you lean back in to deliver, Loki tilts his head up to catch your kiss with his lips.

“Cheater.” Your lips squish together as you try to speak.

“Trickster,” he corrects, a hand coming up to cradle the back of your head. “That’s enough about my nose. Kiss me properly, darling, please.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

hope that helps with the (possible!) hangover ;)

hope you enjoyed, please reblog and feel free to send me ideas!

loki tags: @bluediamond007 @himitoshi @drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1 @yzssie @skullvieplu @forthesnakeofdragons @skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica @storiesfrommirkwood @agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424 @paradisaicsam @fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites @tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong @holyn0vak @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug @catticas @the-republic-and-face-of-texas @doralupin01 @whitewitchdown @atomiccharmer @falconfeather23435 @babygirlicecream @avengrcs @vethrvolnir2 @bookgirlunicorn @wabisabigrl @myhealingstar @khaleesi-marvel @ei77777 @spacecrumbs @scarlettghost13 @rocks-are-pretty-odd @confessionsofastrugglingteen @easilydistractedwriter @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @fluffyllamaswearinghats @milktearose @lcyouinhell @h0tshotholland @dontmesswithmemundane @southsidesarcasticwriter @helnik-s @lilith-akemi @fire-in-her-veinz @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @mischievousbellerina @kcd15 @mellowgirl01 @lokislilcaribbeanprincess @allthingzhiddleston @scorpionchild81 @lokixme @blue-automne @galaxycharmed @devilbat @kangaroobunny @end-up-well @planetariumx @sarcsep @mrfandomtastic @amaru163 @im-way-too-many-fandoms @caswinchester2000 @kybaeza @wester-than-west @vintagesunshinebitch @adefectivedetective @poetic-nikolai @moonduhsted @kerri-masson @iamverity @innaminitus @spnbarnes @narcissxblack @woohoney @anxiousamandapanda

#loki x reader #loki reader insert #loki imagine #loki x reader fluff #loki requests #boyfriend!loki #loki x drunk!reader #loki fanfiction #loki drabbles #loki laufeyson #loki fluff

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animalfalls · 4 years

Text

Never Good Enough

Leviathan X GN!MC (Angsty and unedited)

Warning: this is really angsty and there is a lot about self-hate so if you are easily triggered I don’t recommend this fic for you.

Word Count: 1813

AN: OMG wow I actually finish something lmao. It includes a phrase in Japanese, I don’t speak the language but I did take a few classes a while back. If it isn’t used right or I was WAY off with it’s meaning please let me know lol. I got it off of a site that explained how in Japanese they aren’t direct with speaking so instead of “I love you”, “I like you” would be more appropriate for this situation. Plus to me it fits Leviathan’s personality.

You know you should’ve seen this coming, yet no amount of preparation could he stop the tears from flowing. Your blank eyes stare back into the piercing gaze of the unnamed demon before you. No matter how strong you are physically one thing always hurts more than anything else. A tinge of pain began to stew in your chest, festering up and choking you out. A clawed hand pressed to your throat in a death grip. You knew this would be your fate as soon as you stepped through the gates of RAD. A school of demons was no place for a powerless human. You were surprised how you managed to last this long.

This was not what caused your tears to overflow and flood your face. Nor was it the sharp edges of the claws ripping into your skin causing blood to trickle down from your neck and seep into the clothes on your chest. Not even the growing suffocation of disruption of air to your lungs. No, it was far worse than any physical pain that could be brought upon you. It was those words that made you lower your guard and give in to your fate. You knew you stood no chance once those vile words flittered off of the lips of this demon. You will never be good enough for him.

It was as if the demon had a paralysis spell over you, your body declining any thoughts of running or fighting back. You knew it was true already, but you never wanted to face the truth. Leviathan… He was too good for you. Any fight you had given up to this point had since coming to an abrupt halt. What were you thinking anyway? You were only a human, you had no right to even hope he would view you as anything more than an annoyance. You were just a burden to all of the brothers and you knew this so well. Yet for a moment you thought you could actually belong somewhere. With others that would understand you and maybe even enjoy your company. What a stupid thought, nothing but the fleeting hopes of a useless human. Pathetic human, you really think he could ever love you? No, but I hoped he could.

The world seemed to be so colorful when Levi was around, a smile from him could send a beautiful warm feeling through you. Listening to him go on about any one of his shows was blissful. He would get so excited at times his demon form would emerge and the way his tail shot straight up as he would go into great depth about his favorite parts. That boy’s passion for anime and video games was second to none. You always liked how he would lend you his manga without you having to ask for them. He’d often leave them in a box outside of your door with a note on them in the middle of the night so he didn’t wake you.

You kept every single note, they were your treasures, he may not have the most legible handwriting but it was adorable to you. The last one he gave you had a phrase on it, it was in Japanese and you hadn’t been able to translate it properly yet. It was a shame you were going to die before you could translate it. The characters still haunt your mind. 好きだよ You curse yourself for never finding the answer, you almost wish you would have just asked him. Now is far too late for that though.

Your attention now returns to the demon in front of you, some low life demon you have never even seen around the school. Not like anyone would really remember you to begin with, despite being fairly outgoing you could never fit in here like you had hoped. You were just too weak and helpless to be able to survive in this world. You were just a burden to the brothers, you understood that it would be annoying to have to look after you. So you opted to go alone to most places, it may be dangerous but it was better than pissing off powerful demons like the brothers.

The world started to fade and finally your instinctual will to live kicked in, you claw and struggle with all your might to remove the vice that clamped shut around your throat. Despite all your effort it wasn’t enough to save you, you were so much weaker than this demon. The most you could do was scratch their hand, your vision starts to fade out and you can feel the pain starting to reach your limit. You shut your eyes tight the only thing you wanted to think about now in your final moment was Leviathan. 好きだよ

This was the last thing the third eldest thought he would see on his way back to the House of Lamentation. He had thought he heard the sound of MC’s voice coming from a well-isolated alleyway so he went to investigate. They should already be home so he thought it was strange that they would stop here of all places. He still hadn’t heard back from them since that last note he left with the latest edition of “I am in love with a human but they won’t take a hint and I am too scared to say anything because I am a yucky otaku.” Maybe they couldn’t translate it properly, they were a normie after all.

Leviathan’s heart stopped the moment he saw you laying there. He had never understood how Satan could lose control to his wrath so easily. This made him learn just how easy it was to let rage control you. Pinned under some demon who would never be missed and being choked out of their life was his beloved MC. They lay there barely able to hold onto the demon’s hand little lone try to pry it off of them. Their eyes shut tight whispered his name and before he knew it Levi was holding you close, you were alive but barely. He hadn’t remembered how he got to this point or where that pathetic waste of space that hurt his MC had ended up. That didn’t matter at the moment, but the blood-covered walls were enough of a hint that the demon wasn’t going to make it far.

Leviathan clung to you tightly, he never thought he would feel so concerned for someone who was 3D, nor a normie at that, yet his heart ached as he called out to you so desperately. Pulling himself together the best he could, he scooped you up into his arms and ran, ran as fast as his legs would allow him to. He knew if you were going to continue to live he had to act fast and get you medical help, not knowing where else to turn to he took you back to the House of Lamentation cursing himself for not finding you sooner.

As your eyes fluttered open the first thing you noticed was the ceiling of Leviathan’s room, the soft glow of the fish tank lit up your vision. Your head was still groggy and you couldn’t remember how you had gotten here. Trying to sit up sent pain shooting through your body, but also made you well aware you were on a bed, not in Leviathan’s bathtub he called his bed. When did this get here? Why was it here? Wait… Why am I here? Memories of what happened before you were about to die hit you like a tsunami. Your breath quickly picks up and you start to lose control of it, your body starting to shake violently. That is when you feel a weight lift off your stomach, and feel a hand in yours holding it tightly.

“I thought I lost you… MC never scare me like that again!” Leviathan cried out to you, quickly pulling you into a warm embrace. His sobs where half-muffled by the crook between your shoulder and neck. “Why wouldn’t you call for my help?! Our pact would have let you contact me! I don’t even care if it wasn’t me! Why didn’t you call anyone?!” He seemed so desperate for answers and he bordered on being hysterical. As you tried to answer him your voice failed you and all you could do was hug him back running your fingers through his hair. This seemed to calm him down enough to stop the never-ending stream of questions. They could wait, right now he had you in his arms, no amount of self-doubt would pull him away at this moment, he needed you to know how he felt. “好きだよ (Suki da yo), it’s what I wrote on the last note, it means I like you… MC I know you will probably never like a yucky otaku like me but I had to tell you. No matter what you feel for me I want to protect you. Even if you can’t be mine I will try to keep my jealousy to a minimum if that means I can just be there with you!” The poor boy had already assumed he’d be rejected.

“Why would you like a useless human like me?” These words hurt him more than any rejection could ever. He was prepared for any type of rejection MC could throw at him no matter how brutal but those words cut deeper than anything he could have imagined them saying. MC thought they were useless… Why would someone he came to treasure so much think they were useless? They were nothing like him, yet they thought they were the one undeserving of him. Leviathan’s heart shattered, he was at a loss of words. His sobs came to a stop right then and there, his grip loosened and he pulled away enough to look into their eyes. He knew these feelings all too well, this wasn’t fair. This wasn’t fair. THIS WASN’T FAIR!

“MC! Why would you think like that?! You mean everything to me! I wouldn’t trade any of the time I have with you even for a limited edition Ruri-Chan figurine! Although that would suck losing the chance to get it... You are so precious to me! You are my Henry and I would be stupid not to like you! Even if you are a normie!” You have never seen him blush so hard, and it was taking everything in him not to flee after saying something so embarrassing. The only thing you could think of to do was pull him into a kiss, your hands cupping his face and you took one last glance at him before shutting your eyes and melting into the kiss. While you weren’t sure if you could ever get rid of these feelings of self-hate, for a moment you had hope that maybe you two could work together to be more confident.

“I like you too Levi.”

#obey me!#obey me shall we date #obey me levi x mc #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #swd #swd leviathan #leviathan

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fanficsforpogchamps · 4 years

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The SDC bois with a reader who tries to bite at them whenever they get too close for their comfort, not caring if the have a so called 'stand'

Headcanon! Touchy-Feely

Warnings: None except a few naughty words 👀 enjoy!

My Jotakak fanfic is coming soon, but keep the requests coming lovely! I’d enjoy writing your scenarios and Headcanons for every good boi out there!

(I hope this is okay! I’ve done both emotionally and physically, like actually physically biting them lmao. It was fun, so Thank you for the first request :)) )

Jotaro Kujo-

;This man is not exactly emotion material, he doesn’t understand them at the best of times, so when he sees you being recluse and lugging behind the group, he shrugs and carries on his merry way.

; he learnt from his old man that you were their translater, but had acquired no stand- and so when you first snap at him using your teeth when he brushed against your arm in a crowded market Star Platinum shot out immediately, expecting a fight. But when no Stand appeared, the larger, more colourful Jotaro was ever so confused.

; your teeth were firmly locked into his fingers as they had been wiping some sweat from your forehead. The beads were trickling down and it bothered the hell out of him, and it was only when you let go did he see that you made a sizeable mark on his middle and fore finger.

; “you annoying bitch,” Jotaro had growled, itching at the marks left by your teeth, and you slinked away back to Avdols shadow where you resided for the rest of the trip... until they tried to get you to stay behind when they found DIOs mansion.

; “you don’t have the powers we do, you need to stay behind and live, if not for us,” Avdol tried reasoning, but your stubbornness is why earned you your title as a Stardust Crusader. But when the man, the myth, the legend, Jotaro Kujo has started to approach you, there was an internal battle. Even after a few feet he was already waaaay beyond your comfort zone. “Do as they say, and just stay behind. DIO will most likely kill you if you go in without our powers,”

; die? You will? You had bared your teeth at him before spitting out a harsh “fine,” and turned away from the group. “I know I don’t have a Stand... whatever they are. But you all better come back to me alive,”

Kakyoin Noriaki-

; Kakyoin was a very naturally comfortable person to be around, I mean hell, even Jotaro was happy when he had returned from hospital (but that’s further on-)

So when your teeth managed to snag at Kakyoins expensive school jacket on the Strength boat, he was a little more than surprised to say the least.

; he physically recoiled, before shaking his head and gently prying off your teeth. “Now now (Y/N),” he chuckled nervously, before managing to get the fabric from your teeth without damaging it. “No need to act like a dog now do we?”

;you had nearly died in that damned boat and was now out at sea again, having to deal with the infuriating closeness of everyone- but it seemed there was already a gap between both your sides as they all favoured to huddle further up the raft.

; “we don’t want your teeth in our clothes! I paid a lot for these!” Joseph cried out accusingly, finger shoved in your face to signify that there was distrust with you. That... hurt. Despite your emotional turmoil previously with them it still hurt when the man jabbed a finger your way. “Shut the fuck up old man before I shove your head under the water,” you snapped, arms crossed over your chest.

; That seemed to have shut Joseph up, as he cowered away, before Kakyoin started laughing. That was amazing! He knew there was something special about you. “Ahhh don’t mind him (Y/N), he gets paranoid,” Noriaki tired to inform you, managing to brighten up the mood from the older Joestar bringing it down a notch. “He needs to watch where he’s pointing that finger, or he will have to add another mechanical limb to the list,”

; it made Kakyoin smile, seeing as you full well meant every word you spoke and clearly Joseph was using your temper against you. Kakyoin shifted in his seat before sliding across to sit closer to you, and nudging your shoulder with his own.

; too close too close too close- is all you thought of as The red headed Japanese school student slid closer and closer to you. Despite the size of the raft you had been comfortable with no one being near you, but now that he was closer you felt your heart stop.

;”Don’t take no offence. He’ll learn his lesson soon enough,”

Jean-Pierre Polnareff-

;when you had stepped off the plane with Iggy, the man thought you was the most gorgeous thing in the world, so when his flirtatious advances caused him to nearly jump out of the desert buggy- he was shocked.

; The Frenchman swore out in french, gesturing vividly for dear life as he had come to realise maybe.. maybe you weren’t as nice as you were portrayed to be? Maybe he should stay away?

; Blast it all to hell! Polnareff thought as he continued to fling flirty-esq comments your way. The travel was hot, and on you lap was Iggy- the animal which had processed to rip out a lot of his silver locks which were gorgeously prepared this morning. He scowled, before turning up his nose and giving up for a while.

; if it hadn’t been for you baring your teeth and snapping the words “dirty bastard” at him, he wouldn’t have stopped the flirting behaviour, but something about the way you flared up at him made him believe you were a full blown Stand user. Because god knows that only stand users would be that aggressive.

;but when he found out you was just another normal person; unable to grasp the thoughts or view his glorious Silver Chariot his heart sunk. So you was just another heartless tease then. He nearly cried at the idea of someone as beautiful as you being a dastardly tease, set to destroy him.

;The buggy had been overturned, and Polnareff was clutching Kakyoins body. You had reluctantly hopped on top of the car as well, your body pressed against Jeans because of N’Doul. You could see the mental struggle in his eyes. He didn’t want to get too close to you- yet he needed to keep Kakyoin safe. So you opted to helping him, fingers wrapping around the uniform of your cherry loving friend and dragging him just a bit higher up the buggy.

;”I may not have a stand to help,” you choked out, struggling slightly. “And I may not be able to see yours- but I’m going to help right now,”

;from then Polnareff could see you was a determined person, and while you possessed no stand it drove you to help more. You would be useless in the eyes of anyone else- but Jean-Pierre Polnareff could see your worth from the moment you thought of helping them.

Joseph Joestar-

;Joseph knew you weren’t a Stand user from the start, as you hadn’t been able to see Purple Hermit when you met him. You were a translator, and as much as Joseph loved visiting Japan- it hurt him when he tried to order in English and no one could understand him, which is why you were with him.

; you used to be such a good kid, so social and friendly- yet when he met you again it was hard to believe you were the same person. You were snappy and seemingly always grumpy, ready to bite someone’s head off if they spoke wrongly. You nearly gave someone a heart attack at a store because they bumped into you, and the look from your eye caused them to sweat profusely.

; When you met Holly however, your sour mood disappeared almost completely and underneath emerged the soft child you once was, a small smile on your face as you chatted with his daughter.

;He knew holly had that affect on people but on you? He was sure it wouldn’t work yet here you were, small Japanese tea cup in your grasp and a soft laughter to your words.

;The only way he knew you was real was when you were alone with him again, and he decided to open his big mouth and ask about why you was so nice to Holly- when your teeth suddenly bit down on his metal hand which had been waved too close to your face.

;his signature ‘OHHH MY GOOOUDDDD!’ Was raised from his voice as he viewed the missing fingers off his metallic hand. “Don’t be so loud asshole, Kakyoin is still asleep,” you had snapped, before dropping the fingers in his lap and sighing.

; the one time you showed any sort of love or kindness towards him was... well... the airport. Your entire journey led up to this moment, the three people you stood besides were sobbing, and there was a small tear that slipped across your cheek- a moment of weakness that Joseph caught as you all recognised the harrowing details of your journey... it was over-

; “I miss their faces,” you admitted to him, one hand over his metal one for some sort of comfort as you both rested in your plane seats. You felt his thumb graze your knuckles as he held your hand close. You knew he had lost Ceaser, Speedwagon, Lisa Lisa, Erina... and now Avdol and Kakyoin. It must be hard, and you felt sympathy for him, yet never disclosed this to him.

; “I know, so do I,”

Muhammad Avdol-

;his first snippet of your uncomfortable boundaries was when he first met you with Joseph Joestar, watching as you managed to snag the coat arm of the elder JoJo as the coat had smacked your nose softly as his arm raised in greetings.

;He knew from then on to avoid you, or just not to get beyond your boundaries. He was not exactly going to bother you if everyone wanted the best trip. He smiled back at you occasionally to allow you the knowledge that he was there and would respect you.

;you had only snapped at him once, but he expected it. His body appeared to move in front of you at a ghostly pace, almost as if arisen from the dead.

; you had weeped over his body, mourned and sobbed despite your harsh exterior. The tears nearly flooded from your eyes at his sudden appearance, but the anger boiled and bubbled over that sadness you felt.

;”So is there just s reason why I was not told?” You inquired, body remaining frozen as your shoes firmly remained placed in the sand of the beach. “Don’t give me the BULLSHIT you told Polnareff,” there was the snap that made Avdol twitch alway. “Let’s get this DIO shit over with so I can formally beat you all,” your teeth bared at them, before you composed the calm exterior you once had and made your way to the submarine.

;Avdol knew you meant well, the shock must have been fully graced if you admitted to pouring the contents of your heart out when his body had just been moved to an infirmary. A small smile crossed his lips as you passed him, head set forward and confidence leaking from your body as if you had a new ideal.

;”I’ll hold you too that (Y/N),” he smiled, hands now slipping into his sleeves as he followed your path with the rest of the Crusaders.

#noriaki kakyoin #jotaro #jojo shitpost #jojo part 3 #joseph joestar #jp polnareff #oof bois #reader insert #avdol #anime #jojos bizzare adventure #jojo kakyoin #fanfiction #headcanons #jojo headcanons

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hatsukeii · 4 years

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Haikyuu and attack on titan matchup

May I please get a written ship for haikyuu and attack on titan? I can be described as introverted and withdrawn because of events in life despite being outgoing and lively in the past. I randomly doze off and daydream a lot when I’m alone, with friends, and family. Because of my introverted personality I am often mistaken for cold a lot because of my “resting bitch face.” Once people get to know me I am just emotionally shy and empathetic. Even though I can respond and identify to the feeling of others, I have a hard time expressing my own and try not to express it often. When I’m with friends I am very upbeat, joyful, and hardworking by supporting my friends and family and putting their needs before my own and keeping them happy. I’m pretty much independent and a hard worker that spends too much caring for everyone but myself. My friends describe me as a good listener and easy to talk with because I Am open-minded and easygoing. I like to watch anime, read manga, play video games (final fantasy and kingdom hearts: my favorite series. also metal gear, solid, resident evil etc.), watch DC comic films and shows XD Besides that, my ultimate favorite hobbies include drawing fan arts of Kpop groups & anime, while listening to music (second ultimate favorite hobby). I also like to swim and drive around because of my love for adventures and imagination (also relaxation). I have a strong passion of disliking bugs (especially cockroaches). I especially love to eat sweets , in particular boba and macaroons. I have big brown eyes, long wavy brown hair, baby face (don’t look my age. I Am mistaken for looking 13-17), slender body. I am half-Chinese, el salvadoran, and French descendent. Sexuality: heterosexual Age: 23

My dude this is super good to work with tysm and here are your matchups:D

But like the individual ones are gonna be shorter than usual because if it were to be as long as usual this post would be way too long lmaoo so it’s gonna be just one huge paragraph

Your haikyuu matchup is:

🌪Iwaizumi “Oikawa is a piece of shit” Hajime🌪

Honestly, I was going through so many characters trying to find the right one. Like my first instinct was Iwaizumi, but then I checked out Ushijima, then Tsukishima, then Kageyama, then Daichi, but eventually came back to Iwaizumi. The reason why I chose him over quite a few other characters, really lies in the fact that you don’t open up and come off as cold to people due to past experiences. Iwaizumi has shown himself to be one of the more mature characters in the show. He’s respectful to his comrades and opponents, he’s usually really calm and rational, and can put up with Oikawa. He seems like someone that would be able to help you open up despite your shy, introverted demeanour. He knows what you’ve gone through and understands how you feel, and honestly? That’s enough for him to know what he has to do. Whenever you’re staring off mindlessly, he’ll be the one to snap you out of it. He’ll be there when you just need to cry shit out. He knows how you have a hard time opening up, and he knows better than to pry any farther than what you’ve told him. He’ll sit down and listen to you rant about life for hours if you want him to. He respects the fact that you would like to keep some things to yourself and is completely fine with that. Maybe with time, you started to trust him more and more due to his maturity and respect, opening up little by little and letting him in instead of shutting him out. He loves to see you when you’re being your best self, just chilling out and vibing with your friends, a smile finally adorning your face after hours of just staring at a resting bitch face, with the occasional grin or two. The reason why I didn’t go with someone like Ushijima or Kageyama, is because they’re both very blunt. Too blunt. And they can’t read situations or people at all, unless it’s volleyball. Daichi would be good, if he wasn’t this open to everything. Daichi’s super friendly and outgoing, which might not ring the best with your more introverted self. Plus, he gets pissed sometimes and it’s honestly scary. At last, Tsukishima. Do I even have to explain? He can’t read anything apart from volleyball trajectories and spikes. His snarky remarks and joking insults might be a bit overwhelming for you.

Now onto aot:D

Your matchup is:

The man the myth the goddamn legend HIMSELF

🧹Levi “Oi brats” Ackerman🧹

Damn I envy you and I’m the one writing this rn-

Okay this was literally a match made in God’s hands just saying. You two can relate to each other a lot, both coming off as cold, insensitive, and often times emotionless. However, if anyone ever managed to get closer to you two, they would realise how you guys were actually some of the most emotional people. The only reason you guys seem cold is because you can’t seem to find a way to trust people enough or to express said emotions. Because of all your similarities, you and Levi are able to bond over that and form a stable relationship. There will be times where you two just go to wastelands together with a bunch of rubbish, and just destroy them. It’s kind of like a bonding activity between you two, to let all that pent up anger and emotional frustration out. He knows you don’t take care of yourself enough, and you know that goes for him too, so you two make it up for each other by doing exactly that. You’d make tea for Levi and *try* to clean up his office the best of your abilities. In return, he would check up on your emotions once in a while (Vibe check lmao), will definitely get you a shit load of sweets whenever he has the chance to, and will probably get you new sketchbooks once in a while when you’ve filled one out. He’d do anything to see you finally let your worries go and just have fun with life, even if he can’t do that for himself. You’re probably the only person that he’s ever arranged a surprise party for. Ever. You literally just walked into his office and BOOM, the entire current Levi squad was there, holding balloons. You didn’t even remember it was your own birthday. The image of your face finally forming a smile instead of your usual resting bitch face was enough to make his day- no scratch that, his entire ass week. Plus, your mutual hatred for bugs is something you two can joke about constantly. There was absolutely no debating between characters for this, it was just blatantly obvious the second I finished reading this. No one can relate to you more than Levi can when it comes to inner conflict and emotions. This man cares about you so much please don’t hurt him I’m begging you-

I hope you liked your matches🥺💕

#haikyuu x reader #aot x reader #attack on titan #haikyuu #aot #hq #hq x reader #hq matchup #aot matchup #iwaizumi hajime #levi ackerman #matchup #haikyuu headcanons #aot headcanons #haikyuu scenarios #aot scenarios #submission

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theexecutionerssong · 4 years

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I’m replying to everyone who’s sent me a message regarding the being nicer thing from yesterday under the cut because I don’t want to be annoying by publishing so many asks. thank you, all of you ♥

Honestly, I think it’s ridiculous that people are accusing you of sounding mean/rude etc. sometimes I think you’re still too nice to the rude anons and I feel like a lot of this is passive aggressive on their part. They come at you because they think you’re an ‘insider’ fan and they’re jealous, and if you come back defensively, then they accuse you of being rude blah blah blah. If these people are making your experience on tumblr a negative one then just ignore those asks and enjoy yourself bb!

Hmm idk I mean it wouldn’t cross my mind to go after someone because they know some things I don’t? So they probably have a point somewhere in telling me I should be kinder, I know I can be short when I answers asks because I get so many and sometimes the same ones every other day so it gets a bit tiring...

hello! for sounding "nicer" i know when it comes to like texting friends and stuff. i always over use emojis and 'lol' bc i think when you don't it makes people (including myself) read it in a kind of boring/unimpressed tone in my head. LIKE HOW CAPS MAKES ME YELL IN MY HEAD LOL. (disclaimer: i'm a recent follower and find you nothing but nice. and you definitely don't owe any of us to go out of your way to type differently so you come across as 'nicer'. your english is fantastic!)

if I ever use lol then it’s because I find the thing extremely not funny and it’s ironic ahah I try to use emoji but when on my computer I can’t really be bothered... Thank you very much for your message!

I don’t think you’re rude, I think sometimes you get defensive because you’ve been getting the same questions over and over again and you must get tired. And you’ve talked about having insomnia so you must also be physically tired on top of mentally. That’s normal, we’re all humans. Don’t worry about it.

Yeah it’s true, I do get defensive when I’m more tired. Sometimes when I need to vent, I read my inbox outloud to a friend - the asks I don’t publish I mean - and it helps but sometimes I don’t have anyone next to me to do that with so I get cranky when I see people prying into the cast’s lives, asking personal questions, things like that. It’s hard to ignore when you read the same disturbing things every couple of days. Thank you ♥

You're not annoying at all, on the contrary, you're the sweetest! It's just that I think people are frustrated that you know so much without sharing, and maybe also the fact that you continue to think you're a normal fan, even though you're clearly "in". I don't know, I'm trying to understand... I think it might be jealousy as well.

The thing is, I can’t say for now how I’ve come to know some stuff because it would spoil way too much and I don’t know if I’ll even be able to ever. I’m not really “in”, that’s the thing. I am a normal fan, as normal as a fan who’s lucky enough to live in Paris and who could go to a lot of events - and that’s a couple hundreds of us. I don’t know how much the international fandom is aware of that but David and Niels and the cast know hundreds of us by name just because we were lucky enough to meet them several times. I’m not really more “in” than those other people. Some from the cast have not a clue who I am at all and others only know my @ on instagram because I send them the pics. I’m a bit closer to some for reasons I can’t talk about. The team got a lot of complaints about everything always happening in Paris and some fans ending up being more priviledged than others. I’m hoping there will be more events outside of Paris, maybe screenings or something in the future so it doesn’t feel as ~Parisian elite~ as last year.

I think you’ve always been receptive when people came to you with a different opinion and from what I saw, you’re always willing to learn. Some people are just too entitled and come barging in and that’s when you raise you hackles. It’s not really on you, it’s hard to be kind to everyone when people don’t always deserve it.

Hmmm yeah, my friends have told me I have strong opinions and don’t change my mind easily so... idk. I could maybe be more receptive, like you said, at times. I went from getting one ask every six months to dozens a day in a few weeks last year and it still blows my mind. I wasn’t ready for that. There must be people who disagree with me in my followers. Idk. Something I need to think about. Thanks ♥

bonsoir tumblr grandma! 💫 in my humble opinion, you do not come off as rude. I just think sometimes people tend to read what they wanna read and make the worst out of it. Plus, the whole Even season is a really touchy subject because everyone would love one and when such announcements of possibles seasons happen, they can't help but be hopeful. So of course they don't like it when they're told it's not gonna happen. You're not rude, you're just saying things they don't want to hear. 🤷‍♀️ ily!

I know how much people must be upset to see their hopes crushed, I was disappointed too back when I first heard about it, and my hopes were not that high to begin with since David had said before Eliott wasn’t considered as main. I get asks every week about Eliott being main, almost every gifset I make will have a tag about how whatever is clearly a reference to Eliott being main and I’m just like... let it go. Or talk about it on your own posts. I’m sad it’s not happening. Don’t rub it in my face, you know? I didn’t say anything for months and accepted it was the way it would be so I couldn’t complain but then Henrik mentioned it to someone at HOS2 and I thought that finally those asks and comments would stop but they don’t and it’s very tiring. Anyway, thank you as always!

I don't think you're rude and i don't know you irl it's just that some of your anons are creepy and acted so demanding like you owe us something and it pissed me off actually. Like those anon who asked something like you know this right? How you know abt this? Why you know the cast? It sounds so suspicious that you know them etc. these anons are so nosy like why so negative. Istg i thought they would interrogate you yesterday after you mentioned abt working with assa before skamfr.

I’m gonna say something I haven’t really shared in details before but it’s weighting on me. Some anons are really creepy, so I don’t publish them. For exemple, somebody found my spotify recently and through it found my old Facebook. My friends have sent me screenshots of people following them on their instagram after being tagged in my stories and they are always Skam stans, even when my friends have never posted about anything Skam related. Someone once went digging into my personal life so far that they could have ruined the theme of season 5 in september if they had decided to make what they had found public instead of sending me an ask about it. That shit is not okay. I blew up about this once last year and somebody told me “why do you make it sounds like we’re creepy fans of yours” and well, because some stuff IS creepy. I understand being curious but I will never share anything about the personal lives of the cast or anything that could spoil the seasons so I’d just like it if people stopped asking, you know? Thank you for reaching out ♥

gaëlle you never even once came off as rude (i started following you in february-march when s3 was airing). you're always helpful and patient. it's obvious when ppl go to cons/projos/meet the cast they might unintentionally find out smth that's not public knowledge. and it's a good thing actually that you don't immediately run here to share bc maybe a cast member didn't mean to reveal smth etc. in any case you don't owe us any information and those who demand answers are the rude ones

Thank you, love. yeah I’ve lost counts of how many times they’ve accidentally spoiled something at cons or screenings or in the background of ig stories, especially in the beginning. They are more careful now and some even let slip fake spoilers to see if it will spread (and by some I mean Axel after his play when he stays to talk to fans lmao). The fans who’ve learned stuff that way are usually super protective of the show though so nothing really spreads and that’s really nice to see - sorry Axel, joke’s on you ahah

Hi Gaëlle! Just want to say that I followed you because you always sound soooo sweet and sincere when answering asks. Never thought you're rude, even sometimes I thought you could be ruder because the ask was rude😂 Anyway, just thought let you know my opinion on the last ask, have a good day!🥰

Thank you darling. I’m sure I must have been rude at some point, I don’t think the anon from yesterday would have said that out of the blue, and I’m very sorry that I don’t realize it. Unless when people are REALLY rude then I allow myself to tell them to fuck off dfghjk

You don’t know me but I saw you a lot at HOS2, I recognized you from your instagram. Every time I saw you, you were cuddling people, laughing, singing - I heard you sing with your friends and Maxence joining in, it was adorable! The cheers the cast let out when they saw you come up for the group pictures weren’t fake. You have an aura around you that brightens the room. I really hope this isn’t too weird of me to say. I don’t think you could ever be unkind. You wouldn’t have so many friends otherwise - I mean, it looked like you do - and the cast wouldn’t have reacted like that upon seeing you. That alone convinced me you were a good person.

Oh my god I don’t know what to say. This is very unexpected, why didn’t you come say hi if you knew who I was? I wouldn’t have minded at all! Thank you, I don’t know what to say, really this is so kind. Have a lovely day. Thank you. thank you.

You're one of the nicest people I know, you're a literal bundle of love and sunshine (I'm not even kidding, really). And you're always so considerate about everybody when you're responding to asks that are asked NICELY... so really I don't know how you can come across as rude. And you deserve all the love 💕

Merci @littlhedgehog love you so so much and I’m so happy Skam brought us together. It’s been way too long since I gave you a hug ♥♥♥

and at 3 parts anon with advice who told me not to publish, thank you too, I’ll remember everything you said ♥

#gaelle parle #im so damn overwhelmed by all this #every time i want to quit you're there being so kind and i don't know what to do with myself #nice people tag

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kweebtrash · 6 years

Text

Nights in White Satin (M)

Pairing(s): Kino, Hongseok, E’Dawn, Hui x Reader. This one is Kino focused

Genre: SMUT AF, College AU

Summary: Sexual Liberation Pt 8. First person POV, heavy characterization of reader. just a bunch of smutty goodness in college.

Warnings: there’s a lot of sex over the course of the series. In this chapter, double kino sexy time, fuckboy/tsundere kinda Kino (but we all knew this),phone sex, squirting, masturbation, hearing kino moan, i literally have this kink with rings i’m so sorry yall have to experience this but please bare with me, creampies, wet and rainy, hair pulling, choking, car sex

Word Count: 11.5k

A/N: I flipflop between stage names and real names. Sometimes the formatting can be weird between mobile and desktop:/ Italics mean memories/past events and thoughts. In this one specifically it’s thoughts, a voicemail, and a fantasy. This one took me forever as well and it’s a freaking honker so get ready. but there is double the pleasure with this one.

Sexual Liberation Masterlist

Fic Inspo (Please listen to all these songs, they go along so well with this fic lmao)

Backseat-JYJ

Wet- Jooyoung (THIS ENTIRE MV YALL)

Nights in White Satin- The Relentless (yes this lowkey became a songfic shutup and this one is like the important one clearly because it’s the title lmao)

Hyuna fucked me against the window of the hotel room. Hui fucked me on the balcony. Hyojong fucked me in the hottub. And we had all somehow fucked each other in the giant shower stall without anyone slipping and sliding to their doom. To say that i was exhausted was an understatement. I was just a walking corpse, drained of any feeling and energy (or cum). Sunday morning we bid Hyuna goodbye before she got on her private jet. She cried a bit when she had to leave Hyojong and he spent several minutes reassuring her. It was really sweet. They seemed perfect for each other. I squeezed Hui's hand as i watched. I was being a bit of a glutton for punishment at this point.

She said goodbye to us next, a little bit faster since her plane was scheduled to leave soon. Hui and I received a kiss and a hug each and a promise that she would be back soon. We watched as her car drove off, leaving us to drag our luggages to the train station and endure the ride back home. We all slept on the train but it didn't even feel like enough. The three of us were still shuffling around wordlessly until we finally collapsed in the dorm. I flopped onto Hui's bed and didn't move. He flopped beside me, joining me in my feeling like we were hit by a bus. If we had larger beds, Hyojong would have slept with us too but he stayed in his own room for the time being. Being asleep felt like a comforting void close to death but not exactly there yet. I wanted to stay in this limbo forever.

I was shaken awake aggressively and yanked out of my blissful coma. “WHAT?!” i rasped

“Get up. Class starts in 15 minutes.” Hui said. His voice sounded as bad as mine and he still looked like a truck had run him over. I looked at the window that was pouring in light through the blinds. It was the next morning but i felt like i had only slept for a few hours. I think it was about 15 though.

“Fuck…” I got up and tossed off the clothes I had slept in and pulled out an outfit i had packed for the trip but hadn't worn. “Can i borrow a hoodie?”

Hui yawned as he pulled one out of his closet and handed it to me. I threw it on and tied my hair up in a knotted mess of a bun. “Fuck…” I said again, now realizing that i didn't have my backpack. “I don't have anything to take notes with.”

Hui grabbed my shoulders and gently shook me. “Who cares? If we didn't get points taken off for attendance we wouldn't be going to this dumb class. Just borrow my notebook.” He walked out of his room and banged on Hyojong's door.

I grabbed Hui's backpack and went out to the living room area. Kino came out his room and stopped when he saw me. “When did you get-shit. What happened to you?”

I glared at him. “Kino, i'm really not in the mood.” My voice cracked.

“You look horrible.” He glanced over at Hui who was pulling Hyojong out of his room by his shirt. Hyojong didn't even look like he could function at all. “What did you guys do??”

“What didn't we do is the better question.” Hui answered. He got a bottle of Listerine and took a shot of it before handing it to me. I did the same and passed it to Hyojong, none of us actually having any time to thoroughly brush our teeth. Now we only had 10 minutes to get to class on legs that were too sore to move.

Kino's mouth stood agape for a moment but he didn't dare ask any other questions. We all walked to our Music Theory class and sat wayyyy in the back trying to hide from the prying eyes of teacher and students. Kino kept giving us the once over, finding new marks to pick out and make suspicions about. All hell basically broke loose when Jisoo arrived. She wanted to question everything that happened and wondered why the Trio of Doom had their new found seats beside me. I flopped onto the desk, the sound of everyone's voice drilling into my skull. “We fucked. A lot. A lot, a lot. We're tired and i'd rather be dead than here. And when my voice doesn't sound like a prepubescent boy I will tell you everything. For now, please shut up.”

Jisoo snapped her mouth shut and crossed her arms, staring at the presentation down in front, angrily. I spent the rest of class pretending that I was paying attention when in reality I was basically sleeping with my eyes open. It took about two more days to fully recover enough stamina. Classes were kicking my ass in full gear so I didn't have any more time to waste as midterms were in a few weeks. I had eventually sat Jisoo down to talk about what happened. I opened with, “So, i'm bi.” which earned me a loud screech from Jisoo.

“What the fuck do you mean you’re bi? What the hell happened on that trip? What kind of sex did you have???” She paced the length of her bedroom as she tried to wrap her head around what I was saying. I laid back on her bed and answered a text from Hui.

“Well let’s see...Hyojong got me vibrating panties and somehow got me to put them on without me noticing and he turned them on in the damn train station. Then I found out he brought sex toys and to get back at him I fucked him with a strap on. Then i found out he had a girlfriend-”

“WHAT?!”

“Hold on, it gets better. So his girlfriend is totally okay with me fucking Hyojong and we basically fucked the entire weekend. I got deepthroated like 7 times which is why I sounded like a croaking frog. And Hui is L O U D so he sounded terrible too. I was handcuffed and spread every which way so my body just gave out on me.”

Jisoo stared at me for a long while. “What even is your life….”

“You’re telling me. Fuck if I know. I just need my voice to recover so I can make up my stupid vocal lesson. At least that paper for Music Theory is out of my hair.” I sighed and looked at my phone again as I got another notification.

“You are...is this your life now? Is this just what you’re going to do for the rest of college?” Jisoo asked.

I sat up and looked at her, confused by what she meant. “What do you mean exactly?”

“Like are you just going to focus all your energy into becoming obsessed with fucking these guys?”

“Jisoo, all my energy isn’t going into them. My grades are still good and I’m working hard on all my practices. I danced through my pain and I still have blisters on my feet from practicing all day yesterday. Just because I’m involved with them doesn’t mean they’re going to get in the way of my dreams.”

“What happens when you start having feelings for them? Then what? They’re going to go back to Korea and Hyojong isn’t even going to think about you since he has a girlfriend!”

I got up quickly. “Why are you acting like this? It’s not cool.” Tears were starting to brim on my waterline. Jisoo had never spoken to me like this before.

“I’m just telling you the truth in hopes that you realize what it’s doing to you. You can’t just fuck people for months on end and not develop feelings for them. It’s only a matter of time and then you’ll be stuck with trying to figure out who you want to be with.” She sighed. “Look i’m not trying to be mean, I just need you to get your head together before this all dumps on you at once.”

I looked away from her and tried to blink away my tears. “I’ve got to go. I-I need to meet Hui. I’ll see you later.” I rushed out of her apartment and headed towards Hui’s dorm. I didn’t want to think about Jisoo being right, I really didn’t. But I thought back to what Hyojong said to me about me being his girlfriend. And about Hui saying that Hyojong would basically have to fight him if he wanted to have me. I shook my head to try and push those thoughts back where they belonged, in the box of denial in the back of my mind.

_____________________________________

I knocked on the door waiting for Hui to answer. I was instead greeted by Hongseok. “Oh, Hongseok, hi. Is Hui here? I was supposed to meet him.”

“He's not but I know his piano lesson is today and that's usually like 3 hours or so.”

“Maybe i misread his text. I'll just head back to my dorm then.”

“Uh...no, that's ok. You can hang out here if you want, though it's just me right now.” He said a bit nervously.

“Oh, ok! I like hanging out with you.” I stepped into their dorm space and set my backpack on one of the couches. “How'd your history test go?”

He beamed. “I actually passed thanks to you. Thank you so much for helping me.”

I gave him a high five. “Yay! I'm happy that it went ok. I knew you could do it. You're really smart.”

His cheeks turned a bit pink. “Heh...thanks. Um...but i kinda need your help again. If you dont mind?”

“Oh? What class is it this time?” i asked.

He swallowed hard and stared down at his feet. “Latin dance.”

“A latin class?” i chuckled a bit, surprised. “I didn't know you were taking a dance class.”

“It's just the required dance credit I have to take. But i definitely chose the wrong class. I’m not much of a dancer. Do you know anything about it?” he asked.

I nodded and stepped closer to him. “Yeah, I took Latin one and two last year. Here, put one hand on my waist,” I guided his hand to right above my hips. “And one hand up, hold mine.” Our hands cupped together in the air. “Now for the basic step it's about two steps forward, slight pause, two steps back. Lead with the left.”

I guided him into the basic step, laughing as I had to repeat and slow down for him. Our heads even bumped together a few times because he was so focused on staring at his feet. “You have to look up when you do it! You're gonna have points taken off!”

“Im sorry, Im sorry!” He rubbed his forehead where we had clashed together. “Im trying!”

“I know! But now we have to add the hips.” I placed my hands on his hips and lead them into small isolations. “When you step you have to add some hip movement. It goes with the beat.”

“O-oh...hips?”

I looked up at him and smiled. “Yes. Hips. All Latin dances are fun. Some are sexy and sensual You have to move your hips. Here maybe you should hold mine instead.” I switched the position of our hands and swirled my hips. “Feel that?”

He nodded. “I feel something.”

“Do you want to try it with music?” I reached for his phone that was on the dining table and took a misstep, my foot rolling slightly. Hongseok caught me instantly since we were still so close, my chest was pressed against his now, his hands on the small of my back, cheeks burning crimson. “S-sorry.” I stuttered. “I can literally trip on anything.”

“It's okay. I'm glad i caught you in time.”

He didn't let me go for a moment and I couldn't help but stare at his full lips. They just looked so soft and kissable. His hands around me were so warm; I could feel it spreading throughout my back. I dared to look up at his eyes which had been staring down at me. A nervous smile crept onto his face but neither of us let go. I swallowed back some of my nerves. “Hongseok...I…”

The door to the dorm swung open and Hongseok and I scrambled to pull away from one another and look as casual as possible. Kino kicked his shoes off and looked over at us, eyebrow raised in suspicion. “Oh I didn't know anyone was home. What are you doing here?” he asked me.

“I was waiting for Hui but I think I came too early. Then Hongseok asked me if I could help him with his dance class.”

“If you want better lessons, you should've just asked me, Hongseok.” Kino quipped.

“Well to be quite honest, Id rather not dance Latin with you. Unless you want to grind against me.” Hongseok chuckled.

“Ohh grinding. Is that what you two were doing?.” Kino teased as he came into the dining and kitchen area with us. “Is that why you want her to help instead of me?”

Hongseok rubbed his neck nervously “I- I…”

“I should check with Hui to see how long he's going to be.” I tried to shift the tides and ease the awkwardness of the situation. I leaned over the back of the couch and dug into my backpack to retrieve my phone. I sent a quick text to Hui to see when he might be done. I felt a slight unease as if Hongseok and Kino were watching me but when i looked back their eyes were shifting and avoiding me. I smoothed out the back of my skater skirt. “What?”

Hongseok's face was even more beet red. “Nothing! Nothing…”

“You guys are weird…” I made my way over to the fridge and grabbed the filter water pitcher and a glass from the cabinet. Kino crept behind me and grabbed my ass firmly, making me almost drop the pitcher.

“You look good in that skirt. Did Hongseok have some wandering hands during your practice?” he whispered in my ear.

I shoved him away quickly. “What? Are you jealous now? It's just dancing, Kino.”

“Me? Jealous of Hongseok? Please.” He jumped onto the kitchen counter and took the glass of water from me.

I glared at him as he took a long gulp. “He has way more manners than you will ever have. And i'm sure if something was going on between us-which it's not, by the way- he would be nothing short of a gentleman.”

“Gentleman cant fuck.”

I tried to keep my voice as a whisper but Kino always made me want to scream. “Well gee, Kino, did it ever occur to you that I don't always want to fuck!? Maybe I want to go out on a date or two.”

He rolled his eyes. “Dating would mess up what we have. That's like the rule.”

“I didn't say go on a date with you, jackass. I wouldn't stoop so low.”

“Ouch, damn.” He said, and I almost thought he was actually offended. He set the glass down and jumped off of the counter. “I wouldn't say that about you.”

My mind was still a mess after my conversation with Jisoo. “Well which is it? I don't get you Kino. What exactly do you want?”

He didn't answer me and instead stormed off to his room. What the absolute hell?? I patted Hongseok's shoulder and advised him that i'd be right back. I followed Kino to his room and shut the door quietly. “What's your deal?”

He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it in his pile of dirty laundry. “Nothing's my deal. Go finish dancing with Hongseok.”

“Ok, correct me if i'm wrong but you just said you weren’t jealous of Hongseok and insinuated that if I were to have sex with him it wouldn't be good because you can fuck better than him. Then the topic of dates came up-”

“You brought that up. And I had to remind you that dating isn't part of our deal. I know you can't resist me but don't you think that would muddy up the waters, hmm?”

“There is no muddying of waters!” I stomped my foot, frustrated and annoyed at him. “I never said I wanted a date with you. But if I had to go on a date with Hongseok it would be much nicer.”

He took off his basketball shorts and tossed them in the laundry as well before going over to his dresser to pull out some fresh shorts. “Doubt it.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “Ooohhh, I get it now. It's competition. You don't like anyone one-upping you. I can see that now. Yeahhhhh for sure! Everytime i would tell you about something I did with Hui or Hyojong, you'd want to do something better and harder.”

“I have no idea what youre talking about.” He didn't look at me though and I knew it was true.

“So, Kino,” I smirked as I sauntered over to him. “You would want to prove that you're a better date than Hongseok-if I were to go out on a date with him.”

“You're literally the one that's so obsessed with dating me now.” he said flatly. He still wouldn't look at me though.

“I'm not obsessed at all. After all, I’m not competing with others to coddle my fragile masculinity. But I'll grant you the favor of a date. It won't make things complicated but it will shut your mouth up. You just better make it worthy of being the best date I've ever had.”

“Fine!” He snapped back at me finally. “At least i know you'll put out on the first date.”

I was taken aback. I felt a stabbing pain in my chest as if his words had pierced through my heart. I grabbed the door handle and quickly walked out, not even wanting to stay for Hui or Hongseok. Was everyone just taking a stab at me today? Was this some cosmic karma bullshit coming to strike me down? I was over my friends being assholes to me and was ready to go back to being an introvert.

________________________________________

Hey….i just wanted to say that...im really sorry for what I said the other day. I mean, i wanted to say it in person but you walked out. I know why you did it but…-sigh- call me back, please?

It had been a few days since I had talked to anyone at all. I had ignored several calls from Kino this afternoon but when the voicemail icon showed up I decided to take a listen. I replayed the voicemail again just to make sure I heard everything correctly. He was being sincere which was a new thing for Kino; actually being nice and recognizing when he was wrong. I was shocked. I decided to call him back and see what else he had to say.

“Hello?” his voice seemed a little groggy.

“Kino?”

“Mhm...hey.”

“Were you asleep?” I asked and looked at my phone for a quick second. It was only 10 pm on a Friday. It wasn't really like him.

“Yeah.” He groaned and I assumed he was stretching. “I haven't slept much these past couple of days.”

“How come?”

There was a pause on the other end of the line. “I've been thinking about you. And what i said. I didn't mean to hurt you. I really didn't. I just don't want things to be weird between us...but I kind of realized that going on a date didn't matter if you were mad at me. I don't care about Hongseok or what you do with him. We can just...hang out as friends right? We can do fun stuff together and still fuck, right?”

“Yeah...yeah we can Kino. It's all i've ever wanted. We fight a lot but...we have good chemistry. I don't want anything to mess it up either.” The tone of his voice had my cold demeanor towards him melting in a matter of seconds. Hearing him apologize meant a lot to me and it felt good for us to want to do something together without bickering. “Do you want to maybe go to the arcade with me? We can get some wings too. It doesn't count as a date. It's not a fancy restaurant.”

He let out a small laugh. “Yeah, that's totally how that works.”

“It’s true! Wings are bro food! We’re bros.” I laughed at my lameness then cleared my throat. I adjusted myself in my bed. “Are you going to go back to sleep now?”

“Only if you forgive me.” He replied

“If i don't forgive you would you stay up and talk to me?”

“If you forgive me, i'll stay up with you anyway.”

I smiled to myself. “Ok, then I forgive you...but you didn't answer my question. Do you want to go to the arcade with me?”

He chuckled. “Yes, i do. Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow's good. If you meet me at my dorm we can go to the student parking lot to get my car and leave from there.”

“Sounds good…” There was silence for a long while. I had thought the call dropped.

“Kino?”

“Hmm? I'm still here...keep talking to me. I like the sound of your voice.”

I fiddled with the edge of my fleece blanket. “What do you want me to say?”

“You tell me, you’re the one begging me to stay up with you.”

That was true but we had never really talked on the phone like this before. Who even talked on the phone anymore? I talked to my freakin’ mom on the phone not my fuck buddy. I chewed on my bottom lip. “It’s kind of cold here… I have the heat on and i’m under the covers.”

“Well what are you wearing?” He asked.

“What am i-? I mean...like just a t-shirt and panties really. Why?”

He didn’t respond and it was like I could hear his smirk through the phone. “Kino, are you trying to have phone sex with me?”

“Well damn, it’s better than listening to you complain about the weather. And you woke me up. I need to get back to sleep somehow.”

Even though he couldn’t see me I covered my face in embarrassment. “I can’t do that! I’m not good at talking dirty!”

“Hah! I beg to differ. I remember a certain someone telling me that I was a good boy at the library. And you called me by my name. You know how to talk dirty. Don’t play innocent with me.”

“It’s different over the phone! It’s like...i have to think about it. I have to think about saying sexy things.”

“Don’t think about it, if you do you’re gonna force it and it’s gonna be awkward. Just breathe. Pretend I’m there with you.”

I set the phone down beside me and put him on speaker. Laying back, i closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. I was thankful that my roommate was gone for the weekend visiting her parents. “You should be here. You could warm me up.”

“I’d love to. Your thighs would be really warm around my head. You like that don’t you?”

“I do.” I sighed and rubbed my thighs. “I really do. It’s my favorite thing when you put your mouth to better use than annoying me.”

“I like when your mouth is moaning my name instead of annoying me.” Kino retorted. “In fact...i love when you do those short little breathy moans, like when my tongue is inside you and you pull my hair.” He let out a soft groan and I shuddered.

“You do have a talented tongue.” I dared my hand to go a little lower and rub the center of my panties. “You know you’re kind of quiet when we fuck. You make rough sounds but i’d really...really like to hear you moan for me. I want you to whimper and feel your breath catch in your throat. I want to hear you say my name, Hyunggu.”

He cleared his throat. “W-wha…”

I rubbed myself slowly, imagining Kino in his dark room, his hand wrapped around his cock. “I would love to hear you baby. Please? For me?”

“I-i-i’m sure I don’t sound as sexy as you...you know i-”

“Are you shy now, love? Do you not want to make me wet for you?”

He was silent for a moment but I could hear his sheets rustling. A few moments later I heard slick sounds of skin on skin. His breath was becoming slightly heavy. “I do...I want you dripping and fingering yourself, like that video you sent me.”

“Oh, the snap.” I let out a sensual giggle. “I had been thinking about you coming into my dorm and begging me to fuck you. I was using my vibrator but it wasn't enough. I wanted to feel you inside me Kino.” My fingers trailed inside my panties dancing in the wetness that pooled from my entrance. I stroked myself slowly, up and down...up and down, spreading my slick over my folds and clit. The more I thought back to that fantasy the more it fueled my passion.

The softest of moans escaped him. I had to strain my ears just to hear it but it made my toes curl instantly. “Fuck, I love being inside you…”

“You're still holding back, baby.” I spread my legs a little wider wanting better access to my entrance. I pushed one finger in easily but that didn't last long. I added another, curling the tips ever so slightly against my walls. I swallowed hard and licked my lips. The sounds on his end were getting faster. He was working his cock and I could picture how swollen he was; his hand traveling the length of his shaft, twisting slightly at the head that burned with sensitivity. Soft whimpers turned into harsh curses then short groans of pleasure. He sounded so good. My walls clenched around my fingers as my body shuddered. Just his sounds were driving me to the brink of an orgasm. Like music to my ears.

Then I heard my name. Over and over and over as the speed of his hand increased. I could hear the pace of his strokes quickening, the slickness of his precum was probably spread across his shaft. I thought about the way he tasted, the way his thick cum felt on my tongue. I lifted my knees towards my chest, fingering myself deeper as I was so desperate for him to hear me cum.

His breaths were ragged and intense now but he managed to speak. “I hear how wet you are, slut.” His short chuckle was filled with his usual sarcasm.

“You're the bigger...ahh...slut!” The last word came out as a cry as my fingers found my spot. “Now youre so loud. You like being loud for me, don't you, Hyunggu? You love being a good boy for me?”

He let out a loud gasp. “F-fuck! Don't call me that.”

I pushed a third finger inside me, my hips rocking up to meet my thrusts. “W-why not? Does it make you cum hard? Is that your little kink?”

He was a panting mess on the other line. I could tell he was trying to keep his mouth covered or at least bite down on his lip. I wanted to see him but the mystery of how he looked spread across his bed right now thrilled me. I slipped my hand under my shirt and grabbed at my breast, teasing and pulling my nipple to its sensitive erect state. My mind was at work again, taken back to my fantasy of him begging me to fuck him.

My hips worked in rough circles, feeling Kino plunge into me deeper. Harder. Faster. My head was tossed back as a slew of moans released from me. His hand landed hard smacks to my ass leaving burning red prints all over my cheeks. I could feel him watching my tits bounce, that evil tongue of his peeking out from his mouth to lick his lips. Everytime he did that it made me want to fuck him even more. I grabbed onto the headboard as he arched against my chest., his cock throbbing hard inside me. My free hand gripped a handful of his silver hair and forced his head towards me. “You want to cum like a good little boy, don’t you?”

He nodded breathlessly. “Make me cum, please!” He begged.

I smirked down at him, watching every muscle in his body tense under his skin. I licked his lips and whispered against them. “Cum inside me, baby.”

My walls clenched around his swollen cock fueling his cum to spill within me, warming me completely. His hips bucked with each strand that left him, his hand gripping my thighs so tight i could feel the bruises beginning to form. I slowed my bounces down pulled off of him gently. I could feel his cum threatening to slip out of me. I moved my hand between my thighs and gathered his cum on my fingers pushing it deeper inside me. I curled my fingertips against that little pleasure center inside me, crying out his name as I brought myself to the edge.

“FUCK!FUCK!FUCK!” My thighs shook as my cum shot out of me, dousing my panties and bedsheets. My breath felt like it was knocked out of me and my whole body was tingling. My whole head felt fuzzy as if I had just fainted. I looked around the room still upset that Kino was in his bed and not here with me. I swallowed hard and reached for my phone with my clean hand. I took it off speaker and pressed it to my ear in time to hear Kino moan deeply as he came. His wet strokes were slowing down as his breath struggled to keep up.

“Y-you ok?” I panted.

“Yeah...yeah I’m good. You sounded so fuckin’ sexy.”

“Yeah..uh...i squirted. Like everywhere. So that’s a new one.”

“Wait by yourself?” He asked. I had normally only done so when he, Hui, and Hyojong were inside me at the same time.

“Uh-huh. I was thinking about something in particular and I guess it...just…”

“Will you send me a picture?”

“God you’re gross.” I rolled my eyes. “Only if you send me a picture of your cum?”

He scoffed. “You’re such a hypocrite. You first though.”

“Fine, Fine. But you pay for the wings tomorrow.”

He groaned. “The things I do for you. Now hang up and send me the pic.”

“You’re so commanding!” I hung up on him quickly and decided to make him wait. Mostly because my legs were sore and i didn’t want to move at all or attempt to make myself look sexy. I felt my phone vibrate and of course it was Kino sending me a bunch of chicken emojis. I sighed and opened up my snapchat trying to find the best angle to show off my soaked sheets and panties, my hand still rubbing lazy circles on my clit. Once i was satisfied with the video I sent it. Eventually i willed myself to get up and change my sheets. I got up and dropped my panties to the floor and pulled off the dirty sheets. I tossed them in my hamper and pulled out some other sheets I had gotten on clearance. They were some white satin-y kind of material and not quite the right size for my dorm bed but it would have to do. I wasn’t in the mood to do a load of laundry now.

My phone vibrated again and I opened up my snapchat knowing it was a notif from Kino. I clicked on the video and saw the expanse of his cum covered abs, his cock beginning to soften. He dragged his fingers through his cum and the video switched angles, showing his face as he sucked it off his fingers one by one. His saved his middle finger for last, pulling it out with an audible pop, and flashing it to me. He stuck his tongue out, the icing on top of his irritatingly sexy video. I groaned and flopped back onto my bed, screaming into my pillow about how he was going to be the death of me. That stupid fuckin’ fuckboy!

___________________________________________

I finished misting my face with my makeup setting spray and checked myself out in the mirror. Not too shabby. I adjusted the waistband of my suspender skirt and fussed with my hair a bit more. I don’t know why I was trying so hard to look good. Maybe because he looked like a Korean supermodel and I didn’t want to look like a whale-potato next to him. I sighed and willed myself to stop fussing. I was about to text Kino to see where he was at but I heard a knock on my door. I opened it and stared at him. He was leaning against the doorframe, casually, dressed in tight skinny jeans, an oversized black shirt and a leather jacket. His hair was perfectly styled in such an effortless way and I hated him for being so ridiculously sexy.

“Hey.” He said. His eyes were crawling everywhere on my body.

“Hey…You look so…..Korea.”

He pushed his hair back and I wanted to scream. “And you look so America. What the hell does that mean anyway?”

“You know like...fashionable.” Attractive. Gorgeous. Deadly. “Just you know…” I stared at the rings on his slender fingers that was sliding through his silver locks. He was going to kill me today. I just knew it. Maybe we didn’t even have to go to the arcade. We could just stay here and fu-

“Are you gonna keep creepily staring at me or are we going to leave?”

I stopped staring at his hands and grabbed my purse. “Yeah, uh...Let’s go.”

There was no talk about what happened yesterday night. No talk about the dirty snaps we kept sending to each other until we fell asleep. No talk about the way he was currently holding my hand as we walked to my car. I stared down at our fingers and could only think about how cute they looked together. I unlocked my car when we were close enough and was surprised when Kino opened the door for me. I gave him a brief confused stare before getting in. He was still silent as he got in the passenger's seat. The ride was only filled with the soft drull of my music from my playlist. My hand fell comfortably to the center console as i drove and i felt Kino wrap his pinky around mine. I glanced over at him but he seemed to be occupied with staring out the window. This was...strange. Was he nervous? Did he not want to be here with me?

A lot of questions played in my mind as I pulled into the arcade parking lot about a half hour later. We got out of the car and I shoved him playfully. “C’mon, loser, I’m ready to kick your ass!”

A smile finally brightened his face which infected me with warmth. It was nice to see him smile like that and have it look genuine. It wasn't a smirk or a shit eating grin. It was Hyunggu. “Race you there!” He called out before sprinting towards the entrance of the arcade. He got there first, sticking his tongue out when I arrived seconds after him, panting slightly. He opened the door for me and i stepped through, taking in the smell of cheap pizza, sweat covered plastic, and stinky teenagers. I loved the arcade.

I went over to the change machine and Kino and I both slipped in a 20 in exchange for some tokens. “What game you want to do first?” He asked me.

I looked around surveying the selection of games. “Zombies.” I ran over to the booth, pleased to see some annoying kids move out when I arrived. I stepped in with Kino following behind me, closing the curtains to create the dark atmosphere. I pulled a few tokens out of my purse and put them in the coin slot. Kino did the same and we grabbed onto the guns. “Okay, i'll lead and you watch my back and the sides.”

“Sir, yes, sir.” Kino quipped. The countdown begin and the sound effects of labored breaths came through the speakers. Our characters ‘woke up’ as the throng of zombies crashed through a metal fence.

“Left.” I said as i landed two headshots. Kino aimed his gun and fired off several shots until he was empty.

“Wait, how do i reload?”

I groaned as I shot at zombies to pick up his slack. “Point the control off to the side and press the trigger. Hurry up!”

He did as I told and joined me in a murderous frenzy. We watched as other characters died and we prevailed. Kino landed a shot to some barrels of gas and made an entire crowd of zombies explode. I high fived him in excitement, loving the thrill of the high score. We were both acting like kids, laughing and teasing each other to see who would die first.

“If you die first then you have to buy me a shot.” I told him.

“What, you mean in one year? I’m twenty, you idiot.”

I rolled my eyes. “I forget about that. Well fine, if you win what do you want?”

He fired a few shots as he thought. “Can it be anything?”

“Depends. I’m not going to like get naked in front of people or anything.”

“Ok, if I win, you come visit me in Korea”

I looked over at him briefly. “You serious? Like spend time with you there?”

“Spend time with all of us. For maybe like a few weeks or something. On your right.”

I adjusted my aim guide and hit the zombie on the right. “Ok, if I win you have to pay for my trip to Korea.”

“Deal.” He said instantly. I leaned closer to the screen, determined that moving my body with the control would definitely help me land my hits more accurately. I was deep in concentration when i felt Kino’s fingers stroke my neck gently, his rings sliding gently across the surface of my skin while his tongue traced the outline of my ear. My entire body shivered and I let go of the gun.

“S-stop that!”

Kino pulled away and smirked as he landed a four hit combo. My character was already dead, my high score tossed away and replaced with Kino’s. I whacked the back of his head. “You cheated!”

“Ow!” He rubbed the sore spot and glared at me. “I didn’t cheat. I just used tactics.” He let go of the control as he died “All's fair in love and war, princess.” He slid out of the booth while I cursed at him. I scooted out after him and saw him halfway across the arcade, heading towards the dance games. I had to run to catch up to him.

“Gee, thanks for waiting for me.” I grumped and crossed my arms over my chest.

He popped in a few tokens and hit the player one button. He raised his hand so the motion detector could register him before he selected a song. “You know you can do two player right?” I said.

He looked back at me after selecting his song. “Just watch and learn.”

The dance screen came up and filled with some anime looking girls. A sickly sweet pop song came on and I burst out laughing instantly when Kino started dancing to the cutesy moves. He had no shame in wiggling his hips and making cute faces. “Shake it but don’t break it baby!” I called out to him. He turned back to me and winked, holding up a peace sign before bouncing around again. I couldn’t help but record him, after all it could be used for future blackmail of him getting my ticket to Korea. But most importantly, he looked so adorable. The song finished and he pulled me over to him, panting slightly. “You want to try? You might want to start on easy.”

I rolled my eyes. “Maybe you should watch and learn then.” I stepped up to the machine and registered the motion detector. It took me a minute to find a good enough song but I chose something a little bit more sexy. The music started and I followed along, a little worse for wear at first but getting into the rhythm of the pre set moves. I swung my hips and shimmied, bouncing my ass just a bit because I knew he was watching. I looked back at him and he had a smug look on his face. His thumb was between his teeth holding back what he really wanted to say. I finished the song, watching the results of my score. “Not too bad huh?”

He put his arm around my shoulder and hugged me tight to his chest. “You’re a cock tease, you know that?”

“Of course. That’s what I do best.” We walked away from the dancing games for now and tried to see what our next target would be. We passed by a photobooth and I watched as the display photos popped up on the screen. I stared at it a bit longingly. Kino stopped and looked at the booth.

“You want pictures?” he asked.

I looked up at him. “Y-yeah...I don't really have any of just me and you. I have pictures of me with everyone else and our group ones, but not any of just us. But we don't have to.”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the booth. “Let’s go.” I plopped down on the hard seat and fixed my hair, smiling a bit to myself. Kino fed the machine a 5 dollar bill and clicked through some options. “What should the first pose be?”

“Sexy! Always.” I replied. Kino got a little closer to me so we were both in the frame. He bit his lip and entangled his fingers in his hair while I winked and showed off my boobs. The flash went off and we only had a few seconds to readjust.

“Aegyo!”

Kino scrunched up his nose and put up two peace signs while I puffed out my cheeks and poked them. The flash went off again and we couldn't help but laugh when we caught a preview of our aegyo picture. We looked so dumb. I didnt even notice when the third flash went off, capturing us mid-laugh.

“Shit! We messed up! Now we only have one left. what should we do?” I asked frantically as the timer wound down.

I looked at Kino for a second before he pulled me close to him and kissed me. His hands held my jaw gently and his lips were nothing but warm caresses. My fingers curled against his jacket as my stomach released a fury of butterflies. I heard the sound of our photos printing and Kino pulled away slowly. “We should get those.”

“Hmm?” I still wanted to be wrapped up in his kiss and didn't care about the photos now. He chuckled.

“C'mon, loser. I have to beat your ass at another game before we get wings!” He stepped out and sprinted off somewhere again, leaving me to gather the strip of photos. I looked over them again, laughing at our silliness until I saw the bottom photo. Surrounding Kino and I was a frame of little pink hearts with a little cupid in the corner. I bit my lip as i stared at our lips together, the way his hand rested against me, the way i held onto him so tightly… my whole body felt warm and even though I kept trying to clear my head those feelings wouldn't go away.

______________________________________________

Kino and I stepped out of the arcade later on in the evening. He was holding the giant teddy bear I won him while I had on the crappy glitter bracelet he won me. A sprinkling of rain had overcome the parking lot and it looked like it was only going to get worse. “Shit, let's go before it starts pouring.” I said.

Kino nodded and we shuffled to my car. He tossed the bear into the trunk before we hurried into our seats. Our ride back was quieter, our energy mostly spent at running around and playing dancing games at least 40 more times. When I pulled into the student parking lot the drizzling outside had turned into a torrential downpour and I didn’t have an umbrella. I groaned and sat back in my seat. Being soaked was not on my list of things to do today. Kino rolled his head to look at me. “Well?”

“Well what?”

“Are you going to get out?”

“Kino it's pouring! And we have to walk all the way to my dorm! We're gonna get soaked.”

“It's just rain. We'll be fine.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “You can go out and catch a cold, i won't.”

“Fine, maybe if we wait it'll calm down a bit.”

I glared at the rain splattering around my windshield, angry that it was ruining my time with Kino. He had turned back away from me, his head pressed against the window, eyes closed. His slender fingers drummed lazily on his knee and i watched the metal rings on his fingers catch the light of the streetlamp above my car. I don't know what it was but his hands were so attractive? Is that even a thing? Every single time they were touching me today I felt my entire body shudder. The drumming stopped and instead his fingers spread across his thigh. My eyes trailed a little higher towards his-

“You’re staring again, creep.”

I jumped up, startled at his words. I tried to say something but I could only stutter as heat rose to the tips of my ears. “ I-I was not!”

He turned and faced me. “You’ve been staring at me all day. What’s your deal? If you want to fuck just tell me.”

I rolled my eyes. “It was so much better when you weren't annoying today. I actually had a nice time with you.”

“I wouldn't be me if i didn't tease you a bit….but i had a nice time too.” He shifted a bit in the seat. “I want to do it again, if that's ok?”

“Y-yeah?”

He nodded. “We can go to the movies or something. A nice dark room in public. You love public places.” He smirked. I sighed and ignored him for for now, turning my attention back to the rain. The temperature had dropped quickly as the sun went down and the weather wasn’t really helping. A chill was starting to creep into my car. I hadn’t brought a jacket since the day started out fairly warm. “Are you cold?”

“I’m fine,” I lied.

He stood up and maneuvered himself into the backseat. “Alright well, I’ll be back here taking a nap and you can wake me up when you want to get out.”

I watched him through the rearview mirror as he spread out as much as he could in the confined space. He closed his eyes and placed his arm behind his head, adjusting himself every few seconds until he settled in a comfortable position. The rain still hadn’t slowed down and it felt like we were trapped. I switched on a playlist from my spotify so it wasn’t as awkwardly quiet between us. The minutes ticked on and I almost contemplated running out in this rain just to leave the car. But the prospect of being drenched while I was shivering still didn’t sound all that thrilling. I sighed and climbed into the backseat, whacking my head on the roof and practically falling onto Kino. “Shit! Fuck…”

Kino caught me, jumping up instantly when i fell on him. “Christ! Why are you such a klutz?”

“It’s hard moving in this car!” I yelled as I rubbed the back of my head. I plopped down between his legs and adjusted myself on top of him, my head laying on his chest. I felt him tense for a moment then relax under me. He settled his arm around my shoulder and shifted slightly.

“You still cold?”

I nodded and played with the lapel of his jacket. I wanted to tell him that i loved the way he helped me kill zombies, or how cute he looked when i beat him at table hockey, and that i really loved the shitty glitter bracelet we won me with his 20 tickets but i was too much of a chicken to even let him know that. I looked at him and his eyes remained closed, completely relaxed with a steady breath. Now that I was closer I could smell the musky sweetness of his cologne. It was lulling me me into into a steady comfort. I had never really spent time with him like this before. We barely touched after fucking. Sometimes, if i even stayed in his dorm, we would just sleep side by side and he’d remain closer to the wall as if he was allergic to me. But this was nice.

His hand came to rest on top of mine, his index finger tapping to the beat of the song that started playing. I lifted my head and watched as his lips effortlessly wrapped around the notes, my heart filling with the sweet sound of his voice. I had never heard him sing before. We had only ever had dance classes together since that was our majors. I pushed his hair back gently and his eyes opened. “You sound...amazing.” I whispered.

He licked his lips slowly and chuckled softly. “Thanks...i just really like this song.”

“I’ve never heard you sing before. I didn’t know you could.”

“I write and compose songs all the time. I just…” He shrugged and looked away. “Think I’m better at dancing.”

“I know what you mean.” I chewed at my lip a bit. “I-i don’t like the way I sound when i sing either.” I looked away from him, returning my face to the nook between his neck and shoulder.

“You don’t sing, you rap that’s different.” He said. “...Or do you mean you can-?”

“Hui says I can but i still think that sound like a dying cat.”

“If Hui says you’re good then you must be amazing. He’s basically the best singer along with Jinho.”

“Don’t ask me to sing for you because that’s not happening. I hate singing for people.”

Kino sat up, moving me with him. I had have expected him to tease and force me to sing but he leaned in closer, angling his head so that our lips were only centimeters apart. Now i thought that he was just going to land a kiss but instead he resumed his soft singing, the notes whispered against my lips. I closed my eyes and drank in the steadiness of his voice. My hands slid up his chest towards his neck where I rubbed the shaved nape of his neck. He responded by cupping his hands around my waist, holding me tightly. “Hyunggu…” I whispered.

He pressed his forehead to mine and I connected our lips. I kissed him slowly, our body heat finally putting a bit of warmth in the car. His tongue slipped easily into my mouth, dancing against mine and pulling a small whimper out of me. He smiled against my lips. “What was that?”

I hid my face in my hands. “Be quiet.”

“Oh, you’re really gonna be shy? Around me? Really?” He pulled my hands away and kissed me again. I leaned back in the seat, pulling him down on top of me. His hands slipped under my skirt and caressed my hip and thigh, pulling my leg around him so he could nestle between them. I don’t know why I felt a little shy. Maybe it was because he let me hear him sing...a certain air of vulnerability between us? Or maybe it was just the way he looked today. You would think I was a teenager with a crush. Whatever it was, it was slipping inside me with every kiss and pooling within the pit of my stomach. I could feel his jeans pressed against my center and my hips dipped into his. “You should’ve just told me this was what you wanted…” He cooed against my ear.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I was still thinking about what you said. About me putting out on the first date.”

He kissed at my neck, gentle presses of his full lips on my jugular. “This isn’t a date remember? If you want something all you have to do is ask. And i also said I was sorry.” His right hand slid over my shoulder, down to my breasts, over my stomach, and under my skirt where his fingers danced across my panties. I nudged my hips up to meet his hand so he could cup me fully.

“Make me feel good. That’s what I want, Hyunggu.”

He licked his lips and nodded, barely saying a word as he busied his mouth with kisses across my neck and collarbone while his fingers moved under the lace fabric. His slender fingers stroked the length of my folds, the coolness of his metal rings against my skin made me gasp. My body shuddered as my thighs tried to keep shut.

“What’s wrong?”

I swallowed hard. “Y-you’re rings are c-cold…”

“Oh. Sorry, I’ll take them off.” I gripped his wrist before he could pull his hand away and pressed my entrance onto his fingers.

“Don’t you dare.” I moaned. “Keep going.”

He clicked his tongue and kept his fingers pressed inside me. “You never cease to amaze me.” His free hand gripped mine tightly, our palms pressed together, fingers hugged tight against each other. My eyes fluttered shut as I tried to spread my legs wider but my car was so small it was hard to move around. I groaned, a mix of frustration and pleasure. I wanted him deeper inside me and it was driving me insane.

“K-Kino…” I opened my eyes and found that he had been looking down at me, a small smirk across his lips. “W-what…?”

“Nothing. You just look good.” He shrugged and slowed his thrusts. “Your car is really small.”

“Yah, ya think?” I sighed and sat up. “Do you just want to go inside?.”

“No. Not at all.” He pulled me up from the seat and bent me over the center console. I gasped as i almost fell into the front seats, bracing my hands near the gear shift. Just as I was about to yell at him, I felt Kino’s warm tongue on my center. “F-fuck, Kino don’t do that.”

He ignored me and continued small licks to my folds, letting out a soft moan in between. My breath hitched as I gripped the sides of the seat. His hands rubbed the swell of my ass until he grabbed my panties and yanked them down. He went back to work, kissing my pussy lips slowly while flicking his tongue against my entrance. His hands gripped and kneaded at my cheeks and thighs, his fingernails digging in ever so slightly. “Y-you’re not gonna let me out of this car, are you?” I asked in a breathy moan. I felt him shake his head while his tongue was still inside me. I nudged my legs apart a little bit more and rocked my hips back against him. His name became written in the visible puffs of breaths I exhaled as i desperately wished for him to touch me more.

As if he read my mind his hands moved around my thighs and down my calves, every ridge of his rings sliding over my skin like a newfound sin. My legs buckled when his hands came back to my upper thighs. He stroked the length of my slit slowly with the underside of his fingers before he nudged the design of his larger square ring on his index finger against my clit. I gasped loudly as my nails dug into the seats a wave of pleasure becoming a dangerous tsunami. He rocked his finger against me again, slow and torturous until I was screaming his name and begging to cum. My body was shuddering when he yanked me back onto his lap. I immediately felt his cock underneath me. “So, this is what you’ve been wanting, huh? I didn’t know you’d like these that much.” He held his hand up in front of me and i could see the silver glistening with my cum through the light from the street lamp above. “What about this one?” He pulled the textured metal band off his thumb and switched it to his middle finger. “How loud can you scream for this one?”

I tried to squirm away from him, afraid of the shit that was going to come out of my mouth as soon as his hands got near me, but he pulled my legs open and propped my feet on the headrests in front of us. I was panting hard, my back against his chest so I could feel his heart beating as fast as mine. I was spread open for him and he had enough access to slide the band through my folds. Every pass of the textured metal seemed to hit all my nerves that were bursting with excitement. “Kino...fuck...God. Please don’t tease me. Please…” I mewled.

His unoccupied hand slid under my crop top and yanked my bralette to the side. His had smaller, simpler bands on this hand but they still elicited that same thrill against my skin as the others. He was making small windshield wiper strokes across my nipple, making it bud to the surface. I could feel his breath across my neck before his swiped his tongue across my jugular. His teeth wrapped around the sensitive skin and pulled blood to the surface in a gaping mark just below my jawline. It was a spot that always made me go crazy, especially when Kino was the one teasing it. My hands were grasping for anything to stabilize myself and ending up twisting in Kino’s hair, yanking his head back hard.

He growled and released the hold his teeth had on my neck. “Ow! You fucker.” My eyes rolled over to him and i saw the dangerous smirk cross his mouth. “Do it again.”

I swallowed hard and pulled on his hair again. “Be a good boy for me, Kino.”

The sound he made was almost inhuman and made every hair on my body stand on end. I could feel his cock throbbing against my ass eagerly awaiting freedom from the confines of his jeans. “Is all that for me?” I asked in a teasing tone. He wasn’t going to be the only one going crazy in this car. “Are you gonna cum inside me, baby?”

I felt him tense beneath me, his dark eyes questioning every word I had said. I leaned in closer and pressed my words into his neck. “You are going to cum inside me Kino. I can’t wait to be so fuckin’ full with your hot...thick-” I gasped as he grabbed me by my shirt and slammed our lips together. His tongue was vicious, teeth painfully tugging at my bottom lip while his fingers dove deep inside me. His rings were pressing against my entrance, occasionally entering me as he forced his fingers knuckle deep. I could only swallow back my screams of pleasure as my hips snapped up harshly to plunge him deeper into me. Kino wouldn’t even let me pull away to breathe. Every moment was filled with him taking over my mouth and pussy. My nails were embedded deep in his scalp, my body shuddering violently as it begged for my orgasm to overflow. My back arched high as i felt his fingers curl deep inside me. My mind was screaming YES!YES!YES! as I tiptoed closer to the edge. But all of that was gone in an instant.

Kino pulled away from me completely leaving me breathless and pissed off. My legs fell from their propped up position, tingling like they were filled with pins and needles. “Get up.” He commanded. I growled and hauled myself up within the confined space. He worked himself out of his jacket and shirt before unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down around his ankles. My eyes immediately fell to his cock that was now laying on his stomach, finally freed. He adjusted himself in the seat, spreading his legs a little wider before he gripped his shaft. I watched the rings slide across his skin, the metal clicking together ever so slightly. That simple sound triggered something inside me and if that wasn’t bad enough Kino let out a deep low moan. His head fell back against the backseat as he jerked himself a little faster. My cum that was still on his fingers mixed with the bit of precum spilling from his slit as he twisted his hand over his sensitive tip. I couldn’t wait anymore. If i did i was going to go crazy.

I pulled away my shirt and bra before climbing onto him. He looked up at me, our eyes locking as I sunk down onto him slowly. “Ohh fuck…” He groaned.

I bounced slowly, even though i wanted to fuck him into oblivion, teasing him as payback was going to make my orgasm that much sweeter. Inch by inch i felt him sliding in and out of me, our hips kissing every time i settled him in all the way. His brows were furrowed, lips frozen in a permanent moan. His hands were placed on either side of my ass keeping a firm hold of my cheeks as if he was trying to hold himself together. The windows misted with the fog of our breaths intermingling. He pulled me for another kiss, slowing down his pace a bit. His thrusts were starting to meet my bounces, matching the way his tongue caressed mine. Going slow was supposed to be torture for him yet...it made everything even hotter. We eased into a steady rhythm of grinding, his hips snapping up to meet mine in a harsh thrust. He was coaxing every feeling out of me in just one night and my mind could barely wrap around any of it. His kisses made their way down to my breasts and he captured my nipple in his mouth, sucking hard.

I held him tight to my chest, pulling at his hair when he pressed against my spot. He was filling me completely and it was as if my fantasy from last night was coming true. I was shivering in the stillness of the air but Kino’s hands kept exploring, grabbing, and rubbing wherever he pleased, warming me a little bit at a time. His mouth continued to work across my chest, leaving small hickies in hidden areas that only i could look at later. He was normally one for aggressively marking up in the most visible of places but these...looking back at these would help me think back to this moment with him. My body convulsed when i felt his ring covered fingers spread across the small of my back, the other hand crawling up my chest to drum its fingers across my throat. The grip came slowly at first, testing the water and my reaction. Of course, i fell into it easily, loving the way the metal clung to my skin, pressing into it like a branding, hot and stinging.

“Good boy…” The compliment fell into a rasp as his hand seized tight at my words. My eyes fell shut and it was like all I could hear were our moans mixing and the soft music still playing on my phone.The song seemed to be connected with our own tempo; a nice harshness mixed with a tender pace.

Nights in white satin Never reaching the end Letters I've written Never meaning to send

I could feel him throbbing inside me. He was coming undone but the look in his eyes screamed for my pleasure. He yearned for it just as badly as i yearned for his. My walls were keeping him trapped, flexing around his swollen cock begging for his cum. He landed a bite to my rib cage and i could barely squeeze out his name through the hold he had on my throat. My hand slammed against the fogged up windows, leaving streaks behind as my orgasm hit me hard. I clung to him, my nails making deep scratches between his shoulder blades when i at last felt his heat spread inside me. The sound he made had me riding another wave of ecstasy, extending my orgasm to another degree.

He fell back against the seat, his teeth chattering as our body heat wasn't enough to keep us warm any longer. The beads of sweat across his forehead felt like ice on his skin. I pressed myself to him trying to share what little bit of warmth we had left. It was a stupid idea to remove what clothes we had on just to get a bit more pleasure. It was mostly worth it though. Kino grabbed his jacket from the seat and wrapped it around me. “Here, you need this more than i do.”

I pulled my hands through the sleeves and adjusted the form fitting jacket around my breasts. His eyes trailed across my torso and he grabbed my face, pulling me in for another kiss. His fingers on either side of my face had me feeling so comforted as our lips mated into a slow rhythm.

Beauty I've always missed With these eyes before Just what the truth is I can't say any more

Our foreheads pressed together as we separated for the last time. “I want you in bed with me.” i whispered.

He nodded and pushed me off him gently so he could pull up his pants and put his shirt on. With his cock no longer inside me i could feel his cum start to drip down my thighs. I tried to hold it in as best as i could, wanting to keep it there but it was no use. “I’ll give you more later, I promise.” He kissed the back of my hand before opening the door and sliding out. The rain drenched him instantly but he held his hand out for me to grab. I zipped his jacket up and took his hand cursing as the drops felt like icicles impaling me. I grabbed my purse and my phone, locking my car before we ran out into the night. The short run to my dorm made us look like we had gone through a hurricane. Kino was visibly shaking at this point and I rushed to try and get my key to swipe through the door lock. I finally managed to get us in and we shuffled to the elevator, leaving splatters of water across the tile. I looked over at him and felt so bad. His hair was dripping on his face and his body looked so small with his shirt clinging to him like that. I pulled him close to me which he accepted even though I’m sure the leather jacket wasn’t doing much to help.

I couldn’t help but laugh a little as we got to my floor. “We look like Jack and Rose.”

“Y-yeah. Just throw me o-off the door then.” He said through his chattering teeth. I pulled him along to my room and opened the door immediately turning up the heat. I helped him pull his clothes off and grabbed my towel to dry him off first. I pushed his hair back and guided him to the bed giving him a quick kiss before he slipped in.

“Get under the covers, baby.”

I didn’t have to tell him twice. He pulled every blanket i had over him slowly easing his shivering down. I pulled off the rest of my clothes and dried off, tying my hair up before shutting off the light and retreating to the bed. Kino unwrapped himself from the blanket burrito and beckoned me to join him. I eased in and laid down. He pulled himself on top of me, settling between my legs and enveloping us in the building warmth. I kissed his forehead and pushed his hair back, whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

“Stay with me Hyunggu…”

He nodded against my shoulder, eyes falling closed as his hips rolled against my center. “Always…”

Cause I love you Yes I love you Oh how I love you Oh how I love you

#kino smut #kino scenario #pentagon kino #pentagon smut #pentagon fanfic #pentagon fanfiction #pentagon #pentagon hui #hui smut #hui scenario #hui pentagon #edawn #edawn scenario #edawn smut #hongseok smut #hongseok scenario #hongseok pentagon #ptg

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make-it-mavis · 5 years

Text

Darling, Without You

Summary -- Mavis and Felix have both lost someone they loved, and their grief brings them together for a night. 5682 words, angst, rated E for everyone lmao

Combined AUs -- Where Mavis is ‘reformed’ post-first-movie, and where Hero’s Duty is unplugged (inspired by convos in the discord server that I mod with allthefixins)

You can read it in google docs here if you prefer!

Hero’s Duty was unplugged.

That was the long and short of it. That was all anyone really needed to know. Its great, golden prongs backed out of Game Central Station without much warning at all, and left a hollow, cold tunnel that didn’t even catch the light that poured in from the arcade doors. Many were calling it a tragedy. Others, mostly the more seasoned sprites among them, showed a passing sympathy, but couldn’t be bothered for much more than that. In the thirty-four years that the arcade had been open, too many games had come and gone to bother being heartbroken over every loss. Such things happened. It was that way since the beginning, and would be that way until the arcade was no more. That was life.

That was the long and short.

Rather, that was what could have been the long and short, if not for one particularly beloved hero that faded away into the dark.

She was a difficult woman, to say the least -- intimidating, intense, tough as nails, not exactly friendly, but all the same, she was loved. Being one of the four sprites who achieved real hero status in the Sugar Rush invasion of 2012, she was admired. Idolized. An inspiration.

Sergeant Calhoun.

Tamora Calhoun.

Tammy.

Hard-ass.

Captain Buzzkill.

Cousin-in-law.

Cousin-in-law. Cousin-in-law. The phrase nagged at Mavis’ head like tiny birds pecking away. Once Calhoun married Felix, she became her cousin-in-law, a title that Mavis turned up her nose at. She never wanted Calhoun to be her anything. She would have been perfectly happy never seeing her again after the first day she laid eyes on her. Sure, the Sugar Rush infestation wasn’t technically her fault. But if Hero’s Duty never existed, then, chances were, Make-it Mavis would still be Pyrite. She would still have a circus full of performers and animals and firecrackers. She would still have an audience full of her favorite kids, smiling and laughing and cheering her name. She would still have the life she fought so hard to have. She would still live in the one place she ever truly considered home. And she would still have a best friend.

She would still have the one sprite she ever really loved.

Just one look at Calhoun, and Mavis would remember all-too-clearly the day that her life fell into the grinding jaws of a thousand metal monsters. But...

Cousin-in-law.

Technically, and legally… family.

Mavis would not have it. It took her long enough to even want her actual cousin to be her family. She could admit to herself that Calhoun’s absence was impossible to ignore. She wished that she were still around, if only so that everyone could stop being miserable and blubbery. But the idea that she should have felt sad, legitimately sad for losing her? She wasn’t about to go crying over some dead broad she never liked in the first place, just because of some stupid wedding.

All the room for grief in her heart was permanently occupied.

Said heart thudded heavily and bluntly in her chest as she sat atop Niceland, dangling her feet over the edge, her arms draped over her guitar, like every night. She gazed longingly through Fix-it Felix Jr.’s screen, across the arcade, at the pink, flashing, glittery eyesore over by the Whack-a-Mole. Sugar Rush. Home-sweet-home. There was a perfect view of it from the top of Niceland, which was both a blessing and a curse. It was unlikely that she would ever be allowed to set foot in her home again, and seeing it so close was just a visual reminder. But at least she could see it at all. Every night, during her designated, agreed-upon alone time, she could sit on the roof and try to soak up rays of its lights, or hear notes of its theme music. The good memories could come flooding back, and she could get by on that age-old coping strategy of hers:

Pretending.

At the very least, she could pretend he was with her again.

Once the rest of the game had long since gone to bed, she could ease herself into the feeling that she and her partner of thirty years finally had a moment alone. Downtime. Some peace and quiet, something she never truly learned the value of until she had to keep up appearances and pretend not to be as close to “the king” as she was. But away from prying eyes and big ears, behind closed doors, they could just… be themselves. Together. They could just talk.

Unfortunately, he stopped being talkative once he died.

She was never dumb enough to try believing he could reply. But maybe, just maybe, he could hear her anyways.

So, like every night, she began plucking a gentle melody on her guitar, and offered up a soft serenade to the stars.

“I’m trying to hold my breath

Let it stay this way

Can’t let this moment end…”

She closed her eyes in defiance of the utterly wrong world around her. Sugar Rush was so rarely dark, but maybe if she concentrated just right, she could believe the faint light coming from the arcade and glowing through her eyelids was just an elusive sunset, the sort that painted the horizon into an orange creamsicle.

Yes, she thought, as she felt her heart pick up. The sun would set soon, and Sugar Rush would fall into nighttime, a strange phenomena that came entirely too infrequently. Whether it was a glitch, or even an Easter Egg, she did not care to ask. All that mattered was that those nights were special.

“You set off a dream in me

Getting louder, now

Can you hear it echoing?”

The ledge she sat on was no longer the roof of Niceland. She was at the candy castle, perched on the balcony outside the royal chambers. Behind her, the ornate, windowed doors were cracked open just a bit.

“Take my hand

Will you share this with me?”

He was inside. He was listening.

“‘Cause darling, without you…”

Creak.

The sound grabbed Mavis by the heart and slammed her right back into the frigid ice water that was reality. Barely containing a furious scream, she whipped her head around at the culprit.

It was Felix.

Of course it was.

Or, rather, the weird, off-kilter husk shaped like him that had been shambling around the arcade. He looked, acted, and felt like a lethal chunk of his code had been sucked right out of his body ever since Hero’s Duty went down the tubes.

Since he lost his wife, anyway.

Mavis could not blame him for being… strange. Not at all. Even she could not be so bitter. But she hoped so sincerely that he would be strange somewhere far away from her. She wanted no part of his mourning process. She had enough mourning to do on her own, mourning for a sprite she loved for nearly thirty years, not four, and whose death was not an act of Litwak, but indirectly caused by said wife’s game. Mavis believed she could only be so sympathetic. There was only so much support she could offer him, and it was not nearly enough.

She was useless to help, and she knew it. It would have been easier for the both of them if they just kept their distance from each other for a while.

Yet, here he was. Intruding on her alone time.

He looked even less like himself than he already had in the past few weeks -- no hat, no uniform, no hammer. Just unkempt, unwashed hair, a wrinkled white undershirt, pajama bottoms, and dirty socks. An absolute mess. For him, anyway.

He looked at her, not even trying to smile. He said quietly, his voice ragged, “Mavy. Hi.”

Mavis felt her face heat up. She had no idea what to do or say, and she hated that. Looking away from him to study her guitar strings, she said coldly, “Do you know what ‘alone time’ means?”

“I do,” he said. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep.”

She plucked a single note, and said a bit more gently, “Well… I’m not surprised. But why come up here?”

His voice came a bit closer. “I was thinkin’ about you.”

Her heart stuttered.

“...Why?”

“Because--” his voice cracked a bit, and he took some steadying breaths. “Because I need to ask you something.”

Mavis braced herself for the nasty feeling of having no answer, but otherwise, said nothing. After a long, uncomfortable pause, Felix went ahead and blurted it out, a little bit louder than she was expecting.

“Why haven’t you been here for me?”

Every muscle in her body tensed. It took all of her willpower not to just fly away and ditch the emotionally draining conversation before it could start. She hesitated, waiting and hoping for some suitable answer to just float into her head, one that would dissipate the situation.

Nothing came to her.

He continued, not a trace of anger in his voice, but heaps of pain, “I need you. I need my family. You know that. And I know-- I know you know what this feels like. Knowing that, how can you just leave me alone with this?”

“You’re not alone,” she interjected lowly. “The whole arcade is here for you.”

“But I want you,” he insisted. “I want my cousin. But you act like you don’t-- like you don’t even care.”

Her shoulders fell heavy. “You know that’s not true.”

“Do I, Mavis? Do I, really? What have you done to show me that? Why don’t I matter enough for you to actually try to show me you care? Do I matter to you at all?”

It was so unlike him to be so riled up, so accusatory. But Mavis knew all too well how grief could turn one into a different sprite.

She scanned the ground far beneath her feet for anything to busy her eyes with. “Sure. But it’s the things I don’t do.”

His voice hardened, crackling with upset. “Really. You know what you’re not doing? You’re not even looking at me. You haven’t been talking to me. You’ve barely been in the same room as me for over a week! How is that showing me you care? I mean, c’mon,” a humorless, pleading laugh jumped in his throat, “you’d rather sit on a roof alone than be there for your family!? Why!?”

Her defense mechanism snapped to attention, and she shot a razor-sharp glare at him.

“I don’t know! Maybe I’ve been some kind of quote unquote ‘villain’ for fifteen years and now I’m some cold, unfeeling monster,” she lied. “Maybe I have my own crap to deal with! Gimme a break, huh?!”

She instantly regretted looking at him. There had been so much pain in his eyes lately, too much for her to stand looking at, and she had just added a grand old slap in the face to it. His exceptionally blue eyes were all pink and red-rimmed, but clearly bone dry. He really had been up all night, and he had probably been crying for most of it.

Perhaps the worst of all was what Mavis’ finally saw dangling from his neck on a chain that was way too long for him.

Dog tags. Her dog tags.

The sight struck a deep, painful chord in her. It seemed barely different from what she herself had done the first time the sprite she loved had been torn from her life, all those years ago. She had found the last bit of his world left to hold in her hands, and kept it with her, so that maybe she could carry even a near meaningless fraction of him with her wherever she went. A part of her always felt a bit stupid for it, but she just couldn’t let it go. Even the thought of it brought a lonely chill to her heart.

It had been nearly thirty years since they came into her possession, and even still, they hung around her neck as she sat on that rooftop. That tattered, distressed scrap of a red scarf, and those permanently smudged racing goggles, the leather cracked and blistered. They were probably garbage, but it hardly mattered. They belonged to him, once upon a time. So a part of him still belonged to her.

She knew too well the sort of pain that would lead a sprite to keep something like that. Seeing those dog tags around Felix’s neck, there was a pang of guilt deep in her stomach. Sure, he had loved Calhoun for four years, and not thirty. But Mavis had only known the sprite she loved for four years when she lost him for the first time, and that pain nearly destroyed her.

And through all that, who had been there for her, even when no sane sprite would have been?

Felix.

Of course, Felix.

Before she thought to speak, his eyes fell, and she could practically hear his heart crumpling. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, turning away to trudge back to the door. “I’ll stop bothering you.”

“Wait,” she called back. The door did not creak.

Clenching her jaw, squeezing the neck of her guitar, staring into the forest stretching into darkness below, she sighed. “It’s okay. Come sit.”

A hesitant moment passed, but out of the corner of her eye, she soon saw her cousin’s shape sit a safe distance from her, the same as any reasonable sprite would. It was only fair that they be cautious -- she had an impressive record of morally condemnable acts, even some that put blood on her hands. For all her jokes and threats, Mavis had no intention of causing real harm again without suitable cause in her eyes. She never really did kill without necessity. But to the more fearful sprites among the arcade, she was just a hair away from snapping necks left and right. An understandable assumption, she thought.

But that was not why Felix kept his distance, and she knew that. He was just respecting her space, something he was particularly unskilled at back in the 80’s. At that, she felt a twinge of appreciation. He really had grown up since she had been gone.

The two sat in silence for a little while, Mavis idly tuning her guitar that was already in tune. After some deliberation, confusion, and frustration, she spoke up.

“So… what are you looking to get out of me right now? Do you want comfort or do you want advice? Because, honestly, I’m hardly qualified to give either. You know I’m not great with feelings and all that mess, and if you’ll think back to ‘87, you might remember I’m not an expert at what anyone would call ‘healthy coping.’”

Felix did not answer. Mavis got the impression that he actually did not know what he wanted.

“I mean…” she shrugged. “I guess you could just… vent. You know, just... talk to me.”

He was silent for some time again, but he eventually took up the offer. In a voice so small, cracked, and fragile that it seemed it might fall apart, he began to speak.

“I feel like… I’m losing my mind. I can’t do anything. I can’t do anything, because all I can do is think about her. She’s… everywhere I look. Everything reminds me of her. I can’t even sleep in our bed anymore. Without her, it’s just so… I just wake up again and again, expecting her to be there when I roll over, but she’s… not. Honestly, no matter what I try, I can’t sleep at all. I just lie there thinking about her. And then, even when I do fall asleep, I just dream about her, and… and when I wake up and remember that she’s gone, I just…”

His voice began to quake, but, somehow, he was not crying. Part of Mavis wondered if he had used up all his tears for the night already. She glanced at him, and found him hugging his arms close and rocking the tiniest bit, eyes looking somewhere far away.

“I’m just… hit with the fact that… she’s gone. I’ll never wake up next to her again. I’ll never hold her hand again. I’ll never see her smile, I’ll never-- never hear her voice, or make her laugh, or-- or kiss her-- I’ll never kiss her again, oh-- oh Devs…”

He was quiet for a while, with his face buried in his palm. Mavis had no response. She was lost on what to say, if anything at all. Truth be told, his words were hitting far too close to home, and part of her was regretting asking him to speak. It all just felt like dustings of salt in wounds that never healed. All the same, she took her pain in silence and listened.

“How…” he continued, slow and uncertain, “how do I carry on like this? How can I ever move on without her, after knowing how beautiful my life was with her? How can I just… let things go back to the way they used to be, and… be okay? I feel like… I love my game, I love my friends, I know I do, but I… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… it’s not enough. It’s not. I go through my whole day, and when it’s over, I just think… How was this ever good enough for me before? Can you believe that? Isn’t that… isn’t that awful of me?”

Finally, Mavis felt she had something to say. After a few moments’ thought, she replied in a soft, awkward, but sincere melancholy.

“Well…” she muttered, “Yeah. It is. But all this… this was never gonna make you feel anything good. You’re gonna think, feel, and probably do stuff you would never do otherwise. But that’s the way it goes. You gotta just deal with that and… let yourself be awful, a bit. ‘Cause it’s gonna happen, no matter what you do. That’s just part of hurting.”

“I don’t…” he shook his head a bit out of the corner of her eye. “I don’t want to be like this.”

“Hmm,” she hummed in short, begrudging agreement. “Yeah. I didn’t want to be either.”

Mavis waited, giving him a chance to elaborate. When he remained silent, she continued carefully, “And… look. You probably don’t want to hear this, but… things will never be the same again. Not really. You can’t just shake something like this. It’s been--” she swallowed, plucking a single string in quiet anxiety, “...it’s been four years… since I lost him for good. And I… I still see him everywhere. He still keeps me awake at night. Even when I’m not thinking about him, I’m… still, somehow, thinking about him. Like I expect to just run into him while I’m out and about. The stupidest part of my heart says, ‘Hey, he came back once before, so who’s to say he won’t now?’ But I know he won’t. I saw what happened to him. And the life I had before that… it’s gone. It’s gone for good.”

After a pause, she heard Felix breathe weakly, “Mavy…”

“But,” she interrupted, hauling herself back on track. “Y’know… things change. Your life won’t be what it was before, but what’s normal will change. Eventually, you learn to live with it, in whatever way you can. The pain never really does go away. It never will. But it changes too. So… it’s fresh now. For you. But it won’t always be this hard. Not in the same way. I think. I don’t know. I’m still… figuring all this out.”

Another silence fell, the air thick with heavy thoughts. Mavis was not sure how much of her words she fully believed. The grief still hurt almost too much to bear, but when she thought back to the time that it was fresh, open and weeping, the difference was clear. The healing process was slow, far too slow, and she was not sure where she would end up another four years later. She was not sure where she even hoped to end up. There was no future that she could sincerely long for without him in it. Maybe it would have been enough to just feel okay again.

She just could not imagine ever getting to a point where she would feel any less homesick.

Felix spoke again, quiet and pleading. “But… what do I do now, Mavy?”

She shifted uncomfortably. “...I don’t know. I don’t think I’m someone you’d wanna be asking that sort of thing. I mean… back when I was in your shoes, you sure had a lot of advice to give. Let others help you. Don’t try to take it on alone. All that stuff. Just take your own advice, I guess. It’s probably a lot better than mine.”

“Mavy…” he said a bit more insistently, “my own advice isn’t helping. That’s why I’m asking you.”

“You don’t wanna ask me for advice.”

“Yes,” he said firmly. “I do. I want to know… What helps you?”

She scoffed.

He read it clearly, and added, “What actually helps you. I don’t mean all the self-destructive behaviors. None of that ever really helped you. Mavy, how… How do you really get by?”

Mavis dug as deep as she could, scrounging for anything to tell him. Her mind traveled back in time, back to one of the lowest points of her life. 1987. The Roadblasters incident. She just barely made it out of that alive, but when all was said and done, and she really had to be there for herself…

“I bet there’s so much you wish you could tell her. Things you wish you’d said.”

Felix paused, but agreed quietly. “Yes.”

“Even though,” she gave a single chuckle through her nose, “even though you told her you loved her every five minutes.”

“Yes,” he said sadly. “But I just couldn’t say it enough. I’d say it every minute if she were here now. I’d say so many things.”

“Well…” Mavis took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Then say them.”

“...What?”

“Talk to her. She won’t talk back, but talk anyway. Get it out. Everything. Even if it doesn’t matter, like, if it’s just about what you did that day. Even if it’s ugly stuff. Just find a way to say it. That helped me.”

She saw him leaning her way just a bit. “It… did?”

She closed her eyes, preparing to open up what she otherwise would have kept under lock and key. There seemed little point in keeping it a secret from him anymore.

Her voice fell. “Back in ‘87… when I lost him for the first time, I… wrote to him. I wrote him letters. Every day, if I could stand to. Sometimes, it hurt too much. But, weirdly enough, it… just helped. I can’t say why, but it did.”

“...Wow…” Felix breathed. “That’s… so… so healthy. Mavy, I’m proud of you.”

Mavis frowned. “Don’t make it weird.”

“Sorry,” he muttered, and after pausing briefly he said, “so… it helped you back then, you said. What about now?”

“Hm?”

“Have you… been writing to him, still? Or… or talking?”

Mavis’ bones suddenly felt too heavy for her body. She traced her fingers over the designs scratched across the surface of her guitar and gazed out at Sugar Rush again, unable to bear just how much she missed him in that moment.

She answered softly, unable to keep the pain from her voice, “Who do you think I sing to every night?”

There was a distinct feeling of clarity that she could feel emanating from her cousin, a strange sort of heartbroken awe. “I…” he breathed, seemingly at a loss, before clearing his throat. “Mavy, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. I never would have interrupted you if I’d known how important this was to you.”

She shrugged. “It’s fine.”

“No, I…” he stood, and she looked over to see his eyes downcast and regretful. “I’ll leave you to it. Thank you for talking with me, Mavy. I think I’ll try again to get some sleep.”

He began to walk away, but before she even realized she had spoken, Mavis called to him sharply.

“Wait. Don’t go.”

Felix looked back at her, eyes full of questioning disbelief. Mavis felt her face redden as she stepped into strange territory for her.

“Stay. It’s fine. Come sit down,” she gestured to a spot on the ledge, a fair bit closer than he had been sitting before. “I’ve… got some stuff I need to say.”

Hesitantly, as if he might have frightened her off if he moved too quickly, Felix approached again and sat, watching her, clearly concerned. She supposed that he was never really sure what she was going to say, especially… in moments where it seemed like she was going to say something nice. She could hardly blame him for that. But this time, she was going to try.

“Felix…” she sighed.

“...Mavy?”

“You were there for me in ‘87. Through everything. I… should’ve been here for you now.”

“Oh,” he squirmed slightly. “It’s… okay.”

“No,” she insisted. “It’s not. I do know what you’re going through. I know how much it hurts. And I know… how badly you need help. I’m not… exactly sweet or kind or nurturing. But we’re thirty-four in gamer years, now, not five. I learned a lot about myself in Sugar Rush. I learned how to… have a family. A found family. With him, and with all those kids. That’s… that’s all gone away now, and… I guess it’s hard to want a family that isn’t that. If that makes sense.”

He frowned and looked at the world below. “...It does.”

“But the thing is, well…” her mind drifted far back to the time of the Roadblasters incident, to something Felix said when he thought she was asleep. A sentiment she had always shared.

“I don’t know how to be the family you need.”

His eyes snapped back to her, a look in his eye like he knew he had heard that before, but could not quite recall.

She continued, trying her best not to look away or give up, “I never have. But… my whole world is gone. You’re… the only family I have left now. I want to try to do this right, or at least do it better. It’s hard, it’s really hard, but I’m... still learning.”

Felix’s eyes filled with too much sincerity for her to handle. Her gaze dropped to those dog tags again, the light of the arcade casting shiny outlines over the grooves that read ‘Sgt. Tamora Calhoun.’ Mavis lifted her hand to her neck, worrying her partner’s scarf between her fingers, as she so often did.

“I should have been there for you,” she confessed. “I’m sorry.”

For some time, they were both silent, merely listening to the distant themes and jingles playing from the other arcade cabinets. Mavis felt far too exposed, and the silence was only making it worse. Even so, she sort of dreaded what he might say, and was not too eager to look at his face again.

She did anyways.

He was just staring, mouth agape, looking like he could cry. In a different way than he already looked the whole time, anyway. Mavis felt herself shrink. Her insides told her that she had said her piece, and that she was valid to clear out of there already. But she still had to finish her song, after all.

“M-Mavy, that…” Felix whispered, shaking his head slightly. “That… was the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. I mean… ever.”

Her face grew way too hot, and she scoffed as she turned her eyes back to Sugar Rush. “Yeah, well. Lookin’ out for a bunch of kids for fifteen years can turn you soft.”

A short, incredulous, adoring chuckle drifted from Felix. “Wow. Thirty-four years and you still surprise me.”

There was a brief, pregnant pause, and Mavis could hear her heart thumping in her ears. She knew it was coming. Sure enough, she saw him scoot the tiniest bit closer, and he said it softly.

“I love you, Mavy.”

Her grip on her guitar tightened. Saying it back would have been the right thing to do. The family thing to do. But that deep-seeded, lifelong fear that had so devastatingly come true four years prior closed up her throat. She did not have the best track record for loving things and not losing them. And she could not bear to lose the last sprite in the world that she gave a single crit about.

So, rather than giving a real answer, she ran her nails slowly down her guitar strings, and breathed, “Yeah.”

Felix gave a single sad, but affectionate chuckle. “Not there yet, huh? That’s okay. You don’t need to say it.”

“...Thanks.”

A silence settled between them for some time, and Mavis could not decide if it was awkward or not. She could feel Felix thinking, could sense a question nagging at him, maybe one he could not decide if he should ask. It got on her nerves pretty quick.

“Out with it,” she prompted him.

He jumped a bit. “Oh,” he looked at his hands, “Well… I mean… If you don’t mind me asking, did he… I mean, did he ever tell you that he… I mean he did, didn’t he? Did he… say it?”

Mavis was certain she knew what he meant, but clarified anyway. “...That he loved me?”

Felix swallowed. “Yeah.”

Her heart squirmed and twisted as she watched the lights of Sugar Rush flash and dazzle. Memories resurfaced. Good ones. The best ones. And they hurt in the most precious, beautiful, agonizing way. Still, a smile crept carefully onto her lips, and she gave a sigh through her nose that could have passed for a laugh.

“He did,” she told him. “A lot, actually.”

“Huh. Wow.” Felix muttered, “Surprising guy.”

Mavis glanced over, easily reading her cousin’s mind. “You’re wondering if I ever said it back.”

He looked really quite embarrassed, but nodded. “Did you?”

“Of course.”

“Golly…”

“Yeah,” she sighed, feeling that pain digging deeper and deeper. She looked up to the stars, the ones she was so captivated by in her early years. “...But it took us so long. We… we loved each other for so long before we actually started saying so. If I could go back and do it again…” her chest tightened, “...I’d have said it so much sooner. I look back and I just see so many days we wasted pretending it wasn’t there. So many days that I should have told him. Honestly… every day. Every damn day.”

“Mavy…” Felix whispered, “I’m sorry. I understand.”

She hummed begrudgingly. “No. You were smart. You told her all the time.”

“I just…” he stuttered, “I just… wish I’d done it more, too.”

Mavis could have let her bitterness take the wheel and argue, but she stamped it down. There was no room for it in her heavy heart. It was time to finish her song. She had left him waiting long enough.

“It’s okay, though. I can make up for it with this,” she said, patting her guitar before positioning her fingers over the strings. “I can keep a stupid promise I made… and I can make up for all the times I didn’t tell him. All the chances to say it that... I didn’t take. And for--”

Her words stopped dead. It was too much. Her throat seized up, her body quivered, and her eyes stung. Felix did not ask if she was alright, but she could feel him looking. She heard him begin to sniff. Finally, Mavis’ lungs pulled in a sharp breath of their own accord, and she broke into tears. The pain burst out and spilled over like lava.

Voice quaking, she finished her thought. “And I-- I can make up for all the chances I’ll-- I’ll never get again.”

At that, Felix crumbled into whimpering sobs next to her. There seemed very little she could do for him, but she could not keep her song inside any longer. Mustering up all the composure she could, she played herself back into where she left off, and sang in a voice cracked and broken with grief.

“‘Cause darling, without you…”

Felix sucked his teeth hard. “Ngh-- oh--” he coughed, shaking his head. “Mavy--”

Somewhere deep inside, she found another ounce of strength to push into her voice.

“All the shine of a thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal from the night sky

Will never be enough

Never be enough,”

Every note seemed to carve deeper into her poor cousin, but he listened all the same, his face pushed into his palm, his back slouching dangerously over the edge. He must have found plenty more tears to cry in the time that he had been up there. It may have been breaking his heart, but Mavis fully believed that if he knew the words, he would have been singing along with her, singing to his wife.

Mavis, despite her better efforts, would not have blamed him for it.

“Towers of gold are still too little

These hands could hold the world, but it’ll

Never be enough…”

Tears streamed down Mavis’ face as she sang with what little might she could muster. This was supposed to be her designated, agreed-upon time to mourn, and that was something she chose to do alone. Having Felix there was not something she would be keen to repeat, but for one night, it was okay. They may not have been mourning the same sprite, but they could still mourn together. Just for one night.

Their circumstances may have been different, but once their walls really began to break down, it seemed as if their pain bled together into one color. Grief was grief. Mavis lost the love of her life, and so did Felix.

That was the long and short of it.

“Never be enough for me…”

#fanfiction #wreck it ralph #oc #fix it felix #make it mavis #fics #you're welcome

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