#so be it!!!! eventually they'll turn into habits for myself

[misc-obeyme]

hi! i really liked (Solomon's Kindness) *^^*

can you do for solomon x reader's first date going to aquarium with mc who loves whales/dolphins fluffy fic ?

thanks! keep going with your writings ^v^~

Hi, anon!

Thank you for the request, I'm so glad you're enjoying my writing!

I really liked writing this! Hopefully Solomon isn't too OOC here, it ended up really fluffy. I couldn't help myself! Anyway, I hope you like it!

Solomon x GN!MC

Warnings: None!

You didn't exactly keep your love of whales and dolphins secret, but it also wasn't something you talked about a lot. Which meant that someone would need to know you pretty well to notice this preference of yours without you telling them. A notebook with a whale on the cover, a little dolphin key chain attached to your bag - the signs were certainly there, but they were small. Only someone observant would notice it.

This is why it came as a surprise when Solomon asked you to go on a date with him to the aquarium. He stated specifically that there was one in the human world featuring dolphins that he wanted to take you to.

"How did you know I like dolphins?" you had asked him.

Solomon smiled and tugged gently on the dolphin key chain on your bag. "Did you think I didn't notice?"

You realized in that moment that he had been paying attention to you. Enough to know that you would enjoy such an excursion.

Now you were standing beside him in a large, beautiful aquarium. You had come at a time that wasn't busy. There were only a few people milling about here and there, so it felt like you had the entire aquarium to yourselves.

The first area you found yourselves in was set up like a dark cavern. The lights were practically non-existent and the walls were grayish blue. Every few feet, however, there would be a circle of bright colorful light. Round tanks that held swarms of jellyfish dotted the area.

Solomon waved a hand and it was as though the jellyfish swam right out of their tanks, swirling around you in rainbow colors. You knew it was a magical illusion, but you were amazed as always at Solomon's skill.

You laughed in delight. "They're so cute!"

Solomon's eyes were soft as he smiled. "So are you."

You felt the hint of a blush rise to your cheeks, but the room was dark and you hoped he couldn't see it.

You emerged from the darkness and found yourselves in a large area full of tanks. You moved from tank to tank, reading the information about the inhabitants. As it turned out, Solomon knew quite a lot about fish and marine habitats. He would start talking about them at length, almost lecturing you about the habits of various fish and marine plants. Then he would catch himself and apologize for talking so much.

It was actually really adorable, so you started deliberately asking him questions about things to see if you could get him talking again. It worked the first few times you did it, but then he caught onto you.

Eventually you found yourselves in a room where the entirety of one wall was a massive tank. Here you could see dolphins swimming through the bright blue water. You stood in front of the tank together, watching them play.

"This aquarium specializes in dolphin rehabilitation," Solomon said. "That's why I wanted to bring you here. These dolphins were found injured or sick. They were brought here so they could recover. Once they're well again, they'll be released back out into the wild."

"That's amazing," you said, moving closer to the tank glass. "They're beautiful. I'm so glad someone is taking care of them."

Solomon took your hand. "There's more, come on."

He pulled you into the next section, which was like a tunnel with a tank on both sides as well as overhead. Swimming by and around were all kinds of creatures - sharks, large fish, stingrays, and sea turtles. Light shone through the water, creating ripple effects on the floor and walls.

You were entranced by the beauty of this area, taking your time passing through the tunnel into another large room. On one side was a continuation of the tank from the tunnel. Across from there you saw the other side of the dolphin tank.

Standing in the middle of this room, surrounded by the light and water on all sides, you tried to take it all in.

"It's like I'm standing in the middle of the ocean," you said, your voice quiet with awe.

Solomon still held your hand and he squeezed it. "I thought you would like it."

You turned to him, smiling happily. "I love it, Solomon. Thank you for bringing me here."

Solomon's eyes widened a bit. He turned to you, reaching up with the hand that wasn't holding yours and placing it gently on your cheek. "I would do anything to see that expression on your face, MC."

You blushed, not just at his words, but at his close proximity. You were struck by the way the light from the tanks sparkled in his eyes and hair. He looked like he was alight with magic, glimmering with feeling.

You felt yourself move closer to him, as though something tugged gently on your heart. You took one step forward and there was no more space between you.

Solomon put his other hand on the other side of your face, cradling your cheeks as he pressed a kiss to your lips. Your hands came up to rest on his chest as you leaned into him.

This moment passed by so quickly, but it was one you would hold in your heart forever.

When you returned to the House of Lamentation, all the demons brothers had questions about where you were. But you decided to keep your first date with Solomon all to yourself.

Nobody else seemed to notice the new dolphin key chain attached to your bag. But sometimes Solomon would tug gently on it and smile at you, not saying a word. And you would blush and smile back as you both remembered the kiss you shared among the dolphins.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me solomon #obey me solomon x reader #solomon x reader #solomon x mc #obey me solomon x mc #obey me x reader #request #misc writes

[icedmetaltea]

Yesterday was ok, today anxiety's been awful again...

(rambling abt anxiety and nonsense venting below)

felt dizzy/bit of vertigo throughout the morning and when I checked my BP it was 154/108 so that scared the shit out of me... I took a bit of propranolol and that seems to be helping but I'm worried bc when I asked about what a dangerous BP was my stepdad said 160 and up and that's uncomfortably close. The last time it was high it was only like 140/90 so this was really scary

I called the number the crisis ppl give me from a resource sheet on friday again since I never got a response after leaving a message on monday but this time they told me to call yet another number and they said I couldn't get any kind of help till I came to their office to fill out some forms and like??? I CAN'T LEAVE MY FUCKING APARTMENT

Do these people never get ppl with severe agoraphobia?? The last time I had a full-on panic attack I screamed at the top of my lungs and had to call 911 to get ppl to calm me down so I'd stop hyperventilating, you want me doing that in public again??????

Anyway she told me I can call the supervisor and see if she could make an exception in my case BUT ofc she wasn't available and I had to leave a message, no clue when I'll hear back and when I do I doubt she'll even be able to help me

I fucking hate this system. This is why so many people kill and hurt themselves. When they are lost, when there's nowhere else to turn. When the crisis ppl come they give you a whole list of resources but what is there for people like me who are stuck at home, broke, unable to work bc they literally cannot function like this when it gets this bad every couple of months (sometimes more frequently)

it's either go to a psych ward where they'll pump you full of meds that'd just give me the same "locked in" panic attacks which trust me are far worse than toughing it out at home where at least it isn't bright and loud and horrible or face shit on your own

I thought it was starting to get better, yesterday I cooked 3 meals for myself, I went outside and sat on the step for 5 mins, today I can't get out of bed bc every time I try the room spins. Even when I'm laying down like this it's bad. Even if I close my eyes it's bad... I slept better last night and I thought I was doing well but no, midway through the day everything's horrible again. I keep feeling out of breath no matter how many deep breaths I take... other times I feel like there's "too much air" and I'm breathing too fast and can't slow it down... how do I even describe it??

I feel like I'm going insane but at the same time I know it's been this bad and worse before. I remember my childhood. I remember laying on the floor struggling to breathe, alone. I remember begging god to take this sensation of dread to go away, or to just let me die. Anxiety has a habit of always seeming... idk unfamiliar? No matter how many panic attacks you have, they always feel new

and what's worse is I can't even remember how I eventually always overcome these phases bc I ground rule growing up stemming from OCD I had at the time was I wasn't allowed to write anything in a journal bc it was "bad luck" or something (at the very least my OCD isn't nearly as bad these days) Idk if it takes days, weeks or months to get better. If I spend half a year or longer just waiting for things to get better then like um... it kinda becomes a quality of life issue, doesn't it?

Idk maybe it's the weather. It's 65 rn, yesterday it was mid forties, so maybe that's it. Well then I'm fucked bc it's only gonna get warmer as it approaches summer, and ya know climate change and everything wooooo

Doesn't help that the past two times when my stepdad witnessed me having those really bad attacks he said I should go to a padded cell or something... I know where he grew up there was no such thing as mental illnesses or therapy, only "crazy and not crazy", but damn it hurts. At least my bio dad understood what was going on to some extent. He knew anxiety was out my control, that I was going through it but that it didn't make me "crazy", just that my body was reacting physically to something seemingly unsurmountable on a mental level.

My stepdad was even surprised when I told him anxiety is the second most common mental illness nation-wide. I've talked to many other bad anxiety-sufferers, the reason you don't see us outside a lot is bc most of us are inside afraid to leave our houses! We're literally just trying to survive in bodies with malfunctioning nervous systems and in a society that literally is built around causing stress on a daily basis- on normal people, so just think about how that is if you literally have the being-stressed-out disorder my guy

it also seems like whenever I talk to my mom about this she tries to immediately talk about something else. Like I messaged her earlier today and when I brought up feeling dizzy and having a high BP she just said "Sorry you're having a challenging day! We're at the library getting library cards. Libraries are nice!" like sure some ppl like talking about light hearted stuff to distract them but sometimes I just need someone to be there and listen, you know? All it does is make me clam up and bottle all my emotions in, which ofc makes it worse.

I'm scared to check my BP again. I feel like there's something terribly wrong with my body but it's not as if I can see a doctor if I can't 1. afford it till medicaid processes or 2. fucking go to the doctor. You want me to have another one of those soul-crushing panic attacks and shriek around some stranger in an uber?? Hell no

So yea idk what to do. I have a math test this weekend and I've barely studied at all, can't get myself to focus on anything. I can't drop out again, I've already failed this class twice. I don't think they'd let me take it again and I'm pretty sure I've run out of financial aid to pay for it

Ofc mom and dad are gone, my sister said she'd visit me the other day but "forgot" to, so I'm alone. Completely and entirely alone.

The one thing I have going for me is the PMDD won't start up for another week or two so at the very least I have a will to live rn. Anxiety and depression usually go hand-in-hand but since it's just anxiety atm I'm still able to have the motivation to cook and clean when I'm not ya know unable to get out of bed bc my heart is beating out of my chest

When it does come back, well... I'll keep those crisis numbers on speed dial. I've survived all this horseshit, I might as well make it worth something. Idk maybe the thing I'll keep living for rn is a fucking pet fish someday. I have to hold on to every tiny thing that gets me through the day bc there is a chance, even if extremely slim, that things will in fact get better

#irl stuff #vent #tw anxiety #tw panic attacks #tw suicide #tw mental health #journal #kinda

[miyamorana]

August Fic Recs

Here are the fics that I’ve really liked this past month. All of these are complete. Enjoy!

Fandoms: Boku no Hero Academia (4), Boku no Hero Academia/Encanto Crossover (1), Hades/Harry Potter Crossover (1), Harry Potter (1), Percy Jackson & Related Fandoms (1), Sense8 (1), Stranger Things (1)

Find July’s Recs here or browse my fanfic recs tag.

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia Title: Matchmaker Matchmaker (Gonna Match Him A Man) Author: RayShippouUchiha Pairing: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Midoriya Izuku Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Word Count: 5,083 Summary: “You did what?” Naomasa eventually rasps once he can breathe again.

“I don’t want my boy to make the same mistakes I did,” Toshinori explains. “But he’s a great deal shyer than I was at his age. So I’ve taken it upon myself to reach out on his behalf.”

“No,” Naomasa practically gasps, some strange mix of horror and glee in his expression. “Toshinori, tell me you’re joking. You’re trying to matchmake Izuku?”

Naomasa doesn’t wait for Toshinori to actually answer him.

Instead, he just breaks out into loud braying laughter, uncaring of the way everyone around them has stopped to stare.

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia Title: How To Decipher A Midoriya's Mumbles  Author: whatagoodegg  Pairing: None Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Word Count: 5,459 Summary: step one: have a hearing quirk step two: try to resist the urge to tell everyone about the wild shit he says step three: profit?

aka: midoriya is in the habit of talking shit under his breath. its cathartic. he didnt think it was necessary to break the habit. too bad he forgot about the girl in their class with a hearing quirk.

aaka: five times jiro kept quiet about what she heard, and one time she didn't.

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia Title: Multilante  Author: Starlight (Fandom_Eclipse) Pairing: None Rating: General Audiences Word Count: 13,660 Summary: Izuku was debating the merits of seeking out the new vigilante group that was on the news when he heard the list of known members. He knew those names. Specifically, he knew those because they were assigned to six of his hoodies.

He knew he should come clean. Maybe just stick to one costume, or stop being a vigilante altogether. Groups were treated much more seriously than lone entities, and he could get in serious trouble if they sent heroes after him expecting backup that didn’t exist.

A week later, he had characters designed for every hoodie he owned.

In which Izuku becomes a one-man organization, and everyone has to deal with the consequences.

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia Title: Foresight Author: akcugrai Pairing: None Rating: General Audiences Word Count: 66,396 Summary: Izuku's quirk is simple, it tells him exactly what he needs to do. It tells him to grab an umbrella and that afternoon it rains unexpectedly. It tells him to bring cash and it turns out the card reader is out of order. His quirk tells him to rob a bank. Well, might as well. - - - Does the name All for One mean anything to Izuku? Nope. Will he tear down the empire of a powerful villain who has been terrorizing Japan for over a century anyway? Sure.

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia/Encanto Crossover Title: Of Quirks and Miracles  Author: Starlight (Fandom_Eclipse) Pairing: None Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Word Count: 7,280 Summary: Mira-bella

So dinner was a total disaster and I ruined Isabela’s engagement, but on the plus side I found Tío Bruno!

He apparently spent the last decade living in the walls of Casita with the rats. So that's a thing.

Midori129

I’m sorry, he *what*

When Abuela's quirk starts to fail, Mirabel asks for help on an online quirk forum. She receives it in the form of a certain Midoriya Izuku. Neither are entirely prepared for what's about to happen, but at least they'll have a friend with them.

Fandom: Hades/Harry Potter Crossover Title: Littlest Master Author: The_Dark_Elf Pairing: Thanatos/Zagreus (background) Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Word Count: 10,416 Summary: Prophecy was an odd thing, and the Fates not as all knowing as they had once seemed. Still, Thanatos was finding it difficult to believe this child would one day be his Master.

Or

Thanatos isn’t entirely sure how he got a mortal son.

Fandom: Harry Potter Title: Left of the Line  Author: JoWithTheFlow Pairing: None Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Word Count: 18,646 Summary: It started, as many things did, with Cedric. They had been stronger when they worked together, a Hufflepuff and a Gryffindor, embodying the best traits of their house each and using them to fight and win against the spider in the maze. It had been the seed of an idea that bloomed in Harry’s fifth year—the Houses were stronger together. To survive, he needed not just bravery, but hard work, wisdom, and resourcefulness too.

It wasn’t just about him, either. They all needed each other. 

Fandom: Percy Jackson & Related Fandoms Title: if you need, come build your home in me Author: yrbeecharmer Pairing: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Word Count: 326,495 Series: Part 1 of so collect your scars and wear them well (Words: 344,991 - Works: 4) Summary: Even though the world keeps falling down around him, Will Solace can't seem to help but keep growing up.

(A series rewrite starting with the events of Titan's Curse)

Fandom: Sense8 Title: I'll settle for the ghosts of you Author: FunkyinFishnet Pairing: Wolfgang Bogdanow/Kala Dandekar/Rajan Rasal Rating: Mature Word Count: 8,894 Summary: When Rajan witnesses Wolfgang and Kala embrace, Wolfgang lifting her up off her feet while smiling more broadly than Rajan has seen so fat in the few hours that he has known the man and with Kala’s happiness seeming to make her face sparkle, he thinks, “Oh, I *see*.”

Rajan thinks Kala really doesn't love him in the same way that he loves her, and there’s no way that Wolfgang can love him at all.

Fandom: Stranger Things Title:  Never Look Back (A Breath Away from Heaven)  Author: breakaway71 Pairing: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson Rating: Mature Word Count: 5,000 Summary: Eddie summons a traumatized demon to his bedroom. It was an accident, but it might also turn out to be the best thing he's ever done.

#fanfiction #boku no hero academia #bnha #aideku #hades #thanzag #harry potter #crossover #percy jackson #pjo #half-blood camp #solangelo #sense8 #encanto #stranger things #steddie #fanfic recs

[mrmasksalesman]

Blog Post #2 - First Dish, Everything Soup

First thing to make, what could be easier than tossing everything in a pot and cooking from there?

Well, it's not that easy. There's a lot of peeling and cutting and measuring involved. Perhaps I should've started with something simpler, but I already made it, so I may as well continue. So, I eventually went from the raw ingredients to... this.

So, a quick overview.

This is one of the recipes from Heroes' Feast, and is included in the "Halfling Cuisine" section of the book. A short and friendly people, this dish is also called "welcome soup" from the habit of urgently raiding pantries and gardens for ingredients, when a halfling finds out that they'll soon have guests. This recipe is on page 132.

To summarize quickly, my version of the recipe had more corn and no green beans due to a lack in the fridge, and a bit more chicken broth than required due to not wanting to leave a small amount remaining. Also a bit more chicken, as the broth was homemade by my father.

The peeling and cutting took a long time, which was good to learn for the future. It doesn't seem like a lot of work to peel a carrot and chop it up, but... doing it 3 times, along with peeling and chopping a potato, along with cutting up a leek... it takes a while. I had some help from my family with the learning, but I was the one doing the majority of the peeling and chopping.

Apart from that, using the stove worried me a bit. I'm scared of starting a fire and/or burning myself or the food, but luckily that didn't happen. Lots of "bringing to a simmer" in this recipe. But, eventually, it turned out pretty good.

That small bowl in the top left is some garlic and rosemary infused butter, and goes with the recipe, drizzled on top. Overall, it was an interesting experience, and tasted pretty good. Made a lot of it too. Was it worth all the effort? Yeah, I think it was.

#cooking #school #school project #food

[natequarter]

34 or 36 + gallifrey ship of your choice?

34: ...to pretend. / 36: ...to give up control.

(In the end I decided to just go with both.)

"Careful," Romana said, which really just meant, Let me put myself in danger. "They'll never be convinced we're innocent if you act like that."

Okay, so 'danger' was an exaggeration. It was just a masked ball; the greatest danger was hideous fashion choices. (Hopefully. Narvin had attended one masked ball where the host had a chainsaw up its sleeve—literally. Let's just say there was a lot of paperwork by the end.)

"Innocent?" Narvin snorted. "I'm not guilty of anything." Besides the occasional tax evasion and planetary destruction, of course, but never mind that.

"Oh, you know what I mean," she said. "Just remember—we're trying to be liked, not feared."

Oh yes, because she was the epitome of likability (if that was even a word) and never used intimidation to get her way. So good at pretending to be sweet and innocent, whilst having the vicious bite of any half-decent politician or maybe a giant serpent. And no, he wasn't bitter at all.

"Fine," he said.

"You might as well enjoy the experience," she said. "It's not going to get any better if you don't."

Apparently she had also become a social butterfly. Perhaps it was to do with having regenerated—it was known to have unfortunate side effects, like making you ginger or extroverted, both of which Romana was apparently afflicted with at present.

"Fine," he said, and did what so many people had asked of him—got lost. There were all sorts of people there, and all sorts of things going on—dancing, conversations, indoors fireworks ... hm. Maybe it would be a good idea to keep an eye on the idiots setting off fireworks in the hall.

As it turned out, there was plenty to do but nothing of interest, and after a pleasant discussion about Rhea IV's recent decision to legalise tentacle modifications, Narvin eventually wandered back to Romana.

"Found anything of interest?" she said as she fiddled with some sort of metal thing. She wasn't looking at him, which would've been nice from anybody who insisted on talking to him when he'd expressly asked them to bugger off, but was frustrating coming from Romana.

"No," he said, "although the political developments on Rhea IV were mildly intriguing."

"Tentacle modifications, was it?"

"Yes, they've finally allowed them again. Have you found anything of interest?"

"Oh, yes," she said, with a bright smile. "This is a bomb."

"What?"

"It's not exactly dangerous," Romana said, "since I've spent the last ten minutes dismantling it."

"That's nice," he said. "I think."

"I thought so too." She pocketed the device. (That habit was going to get her killed someday, unless any of the other risky decisions she liked to make got to her first.) "Fancy a dance?" Romana said, extending a hand.

Narvin frowned. She was being unusually attentive. Well, attentive was a bit of a stretch. Nice, that was the word. She was being unusually nice. "If you say so," he said, "ma'am."

Romana grinned and pulled down her mask, so that he could only see the hungry brightness of her eyes and a sharp smile. She was magnetic and he was an extremely stubborn piece of iron, pulling him into a dance whether he liked it or not.

"Enjoying yourself?" she murmured after a few minutes.

Narvin shivered. (Look, in his defence, she was very close and it wasn't like she'd lost her ability to charm in recent years. If anything, it was worse than usual right now.) "Erm. Yes. I think so."

It genuinely wasn't as bad as he'd expected. Romana had yet to step on his feet and they weren't dancing at such a painfully slow pace that he felt as if he was merely walking in circles, which had happened before.

"Good," Romana said, smug like some kind of cat. They drifted towards the edge of the hall, the music fading away into the background—or at least, the attention he was giving to the music fading away into the background.

"Would you like to kiss me?" she said, completely out of the blue.

"What?"

"You're looking at me," she said, "like you want me. So, do you want to kiss me?"

Narvin swallowed. Was he really that easy to read?

"Yep, you are."

"Hey! Keep out of my head."

"I will if you talk to me honestly."

What a hypocrite. She would refuse to talk to him for hours, days, sometimes weeks because he'd made some imperceptible error in Rassilon knew what, and then she'd pull whatever this was on him.

"Okay," he said quietly. They stopped dancing, and dropped the masks; for a moment nothing happened, and then they were kissing, in front of everyone, which now that he thought about was a mistake—

Do you ever stop thinking? she said.

Would that I could.

I'll take that as a challenge.

Narvin barely had time to think before she was kissing him deeply, and for a moment he could imagine that she still properly cared about him, that he still mattered, that the hands on his shoulders wouldn't vanish by the next day. The outside world faded away, which was a blessing, because it was incredibly irritating. Nothing truly mattered in this instant; there were no rules to obey, no people to please, just hands and hair and the faint scent of red sands and white robes.

Then it was all over, and the world started up again.

"What next?" he said, a little breathless, almost dizzy.

Romana shrugged. "Hopefully nothing lethal."

"You have very low standards as to what constitutes a good evening."

"Why, thank you," she said wryly. "I assume you're not including yourself in this evening's events, then?"

"What—that's not what I meant!"

She laughed, and led him out of the hall.

(link)

#asks #fic #narvin #romana #romana iii #n/r #doctor who #gallifrey #set some time between s6-intervention earth

[accustiv-archived]

@vanishinq said: they'll kill you for giving me this. - accepting

the bold thing to say, the painfully, achingly raw thing to say was that he didn’t care. but it wasn’t quite true; he didn’t want to die, not to kit harris’ hands. of all the people he had crossed in his life, he resented finally folding to them the most. he’d delivered himself into their hands and allowed them to get into his head, he knew they didn’t trust him, knew what they would do if when they found out that he had gone behind their back like this. he was scared of the consequences, wasn’t sure he’d be able to get away in time, disappear enough, escape. he didn’t have much time, and he knew it. his plans were spiralling out of his control and he hated every second of it. somehow casper and kit were at the centre of every truly horrifying experience he had ever had, and he hated how addicted he was to the pair of them. he looked at the list - an encrypted thumb drive he had been putting together for far longer than was comfortable. everything he had, everything he had managed to glean from kit, or from the few members of their organisation he was allowed to glimpse. “ yeah, probably. ” he said, eventually. “ but you said you needed it… so. ” he shrugged, weakly. play both sides, get taken out from both angles. this was by far the stupidest thing he had ever done in his life, and at least one of them would have to die to end it all, he knew that, even if he didn’t relish it.

beau bit down on his bottom lip, a nervous habit he was usually so good at masking. he wanted to scream ‘ run away with me, stop being so fucking toxic and just get out ’. he wanted to walk out and call the fbi and have both of them scooped up. he wanted to shoot kit in the face and punch casper in the gut. but he didn’t do any of that, just let out a self-deprecating little chuckle. “ fuck, i can’t believe i’m going to end up dying for you. ” he bit down on his lip again, and shook his head. “ you owe me so fucking much, you don’t even know - ” beau turned away, running a hand through his hair, frustration and confusion and just plain annoyance colliding and causing him to let out a groan. “ just tell me where they are casper. ” he turned back, and there was true urgency in his eyes. “ i’ll get to them first, i’ll get rid of them, i’ll- ” he broke off, suddenly, and a nerve in his jaw twitched as he realised what he was doing. he was begging, to someone who would sell him off again in an instant if it would solve any of his problems. “ shit. ” he whispered, because suddenly handing him over didn’t seem so bad. maybe then everything would stop hurting. “ the thing is, i don't even mind, do you know how fucked up that is? because of it comes down to a case of you or me... you have so much more to offer than i do. ” he hated how it sounded on his tongue, how desperate he sounded. “ but cas, i swear to god if you’re fucking conning me - again - ” he didn’t have the monopoly on manipulation, and he knew that. they had both been united in the common goal of keeping casper alive, but beau knew there was far more to it than that. far, far more, and the realisation that casper would’t lift a finger if it was the other way around hit him like a freight train, so that his promise came out in a choked whisper. “ i’ll kill you myself. ”

#vanishinq #🙃🙃🙃

[jolliestlolli]

Jolly's Friday Blog Update - Dec 9th 2022

Nearly forgot about this shit lmao.

What a week. I could really go for some MJ right about now but it's looking like I probably won't be having a green Christmas if you know what I mean.

So let's get down to brass tacks: Writing. I haven't done a lot of it this week, there I admitted it. To say I didn't write at all would be inaccurate, but the most I did was some extremely self-indulgent crap that is not meant for virgin eyes to read. Other than that all I really did was make some minor edits to stuff I've written with a very close friend of mine, and even then I know I could have probably done more. Oh well, there's always the weekend.

I had my first ever CT scan this week. Lately my health has sort of been on the decline, and we're hoping to get some answers soon. The truth is I haven't really been well for a long time now, I've been dealing with varying degrees of stomach trouble since I was at least 10 or 11. You might remember in my Author's Notes on my latest Ao3 story The Greatest, I mentioned how I recently got very very sick and was still not 100% recovered at the time that story got uploaded. I'd say I'm doing a lot better but the reality is I'm still dealing with the same issues I've been dealing with for close to a decade now, I've just gotten to a point where I'm like "This is a normal level of pain for me, therefor I'm perfectly fine". IDK what they'll find on the CT Scan, if they'll find anything at all. I almost hope they do just so I can finally get some damn answers. Whatever happens, I'll say this: I'll be happy if I never have to chug an entire bottle of Barium Sulfate again for the rest of my life.

As far as self-care is concerned, I at least have a decent morning routine in place: Wake up, shower, cook myself breakfast, take a walk around the neighborhood to try to wake myself up. Sure, there's room for improvement; I need to start remembering to brush my teeth everyday before they rot right out of my mouth. Oh also! Last night my mom found this old journal I was using back in 2020 to keep track of everything I ate and drank that day, and what my stomach pain was like. I can't entirely remember why I stopped. I feel like it had something to do with the fact that on some days, I couldn't remember what I ate, or if I even ate anything at all. Or maybe I eventually just couldn't be bothered anymore. Who knows. Bottom line, I'm gonna try to get back into the habit of writing in that journal.

Anyways, on another topic: My best friend and I finally started watching the 3rd and final season of Dead To Me last night, which I have been waiting for for a stupidly long time. If you don't know what Dead To Me is, stop whatever you're currently doing, go on Netflix, and watch it right fucking now. You will not regret it. The fact that it hasn't gotten nearly the level of international recognition that certain other Netflix shows have gotten is a crime and an injustice and I will do everything in my power to rectify this mistake. The basic plot is: Jen Harding is a mother of two that was recently widowed after her husband died in a hit and run. At a grief support group, she ends up meeting Judy Hale, and the two of them form a close bond. But Judy has some skeletons in her closet, and she's not even the only one.

My shitty summary probably doesn't even do the show justice, it's just that good. I can't even go into any real detail without giving away a small fraction of the many twists and turns the story takes. You have to see it to know what I'm talking about. We're about 3 episodes in and I'm just super nervous to see how the whole thing concludes, and I have slight PTSD from the last time I got super hyped over a new season of a show I love to pieces only to be horrifically betrayed... (*cough* *cough* The Promised Neverland *cough* *cough* *cough*)

Anyway that's all I can really think to talk about for now, see y'all on Monday. I'll go ahead and leave you with this screenshot of a funny exchange I had with my best friend last night:

#Jolly's Bi-weekly Blog Update #chronic illness #self care #dead to me #netflix

[rainbowsnsunnies]

The ultimate hack to getting my life together

Since the start of this blog (and the main motive behind starting this blog actually) I've been focussing on how to get my life together cuz I'm a college student who always procrastinates thinking I've got more time than I actually do and then when I start on the project, the time is too less. So eventually I've to either turn in a bad paper or ask for extension (which I have done more times than I can count)

I have tried all the challenges in the book, the 100DOP, the social media detox, fitness challenges, lifestyle challenges, EVERYTHING. But why did nothing work? I sat there, in agitation and despair (okay this is sounding a lot like some commercial now, maybe I should've taken marketing) until I realised, the ultimate tool to getting my life together is CONSISTENCY!

I don't HAVE to buy fancy planners or spend hours doing a bujo and I can STILL get my life together. The key is in just doing it everyday. I did all these challenges and when they ended, I stopped with the habits (I didn't even complete all of them, pathetic, I know). I'm not saying there's something wrong with the challenges but it was my mindset that was wrong. I took it as some small time project and not a full time goal.

I got tired of failing at all productivity challenges and just gave them up, but not doing anything felt guilty. So I would wake up, make a tiny to-do list mentally and just focus on that for the day, EVERYDAY. And in 2 weeks, I'd lost 2 kgs, I'm catching up with my coursework faster than ever, I'm not stressed all the time and I'm just doing better. It made me think, how is this happening? I'm not even on a productivity challenge, and then I realised, I was forming the most precious habit, THE HABIT OF CONSISTENCY (with adhd! which makes it even more astonishing!).

I'm not going to make this longer, my intention was to just help out anyone else who might be feeling like I did, and unable to keep up with any challenges and ultimately feel like they'll never be their dream person or achieve their goals or just not feel productive in general. You will, all you have to do is make little changes EVERYDAY. You may not see the difference that big in your day-to-day, but when you take a overall look, say, at your past month, you'll be surprised by the things you've set in motion, things that were stagnant for so long. So, commit to doing what you want to do, everyday. One thing that helps me is I try not to see how many days I've followed something (like filling a habit tracker) because sometimes, it gives me that limiting factor again, and sometimes it demotivates me???? Like I automatically think, oh i've been doing this for enough time now, i can take a break WHEN I DON'T REALLY NEED A BREAK, but maybe that's just me. So now I wake up, and I tell myself, what I did yesterday wouldn't matter if I don't do it today. And I tell this to myself everyday, it also helps me take a break when I genuinely need one. I still skip my workout somedays, I still spend a whole day without reading as much as a page, but I don't feel so guilty about it anymore because I know I needed that break on those days.

Please try to do this, if you're feeling stuck. Its made a huge difference in my life (2 weeks of it, but that's bigger than the 40-45 days I followed of the 100 DOP, soooooo). Wish you all the luck and positivity to achieving your goals :)

"It gets easier, but you gotta do it everyday, that's the hard part" - Bojack Horseman

#100dop #100 days of productivity 2020 #studyblr #100 days of studying #uniblr #productivity #consistency #lawblr #accountingblr #staying productive #staying on track #study inspiration #studyspiration #studyspo #100 days of productivity 2021 #study motivation #studying #college #uni #100 days of self discipline #100 days of change #motivation #inspiration #self growth #self improvement #self healing #self care #self love #vision board #dream life

[fayesdiary]

Corrin for the character ask thing?

You didn't mention any questions you wanted me to answer, so I'll just pick those myself! 1- Favourites thing(s) about this character?

Their kindness and mental fortitude!

Way, way back when I first started playing Fates I mentioned how astounding it was that Corrin went through all the shit in the first six chapters that take place around what, two weeks at most? And

2- What song(s) remind you of this character?

To quote @good-beans, 😐

4- Would you write about this character?

I am daydreaming about planning a Fates sequel featuring the two versions of them from Birthright and Conquest, which also includes a Revelation AU with a fallen Corrin who's under constant threat of degeneration.

Honestly, the real question is not "Would I", but "Will I actually write about them?"

Eh, that's up to the executive dysfunction demon to decide. help me

8-Do you think this character is underrated or overrated?

Underrated, absolutely!

They get a lot of undeserved hate from the fandom that's become pretty much self-sustained by this point, but the truth is there's a lot of endearing stuff about them that you can see if you just give them a fair chance!

9- What’s your favourite headcanon(s) for this character?

Post-Conquest Corrin spends most of their free time at the nearest lake, hoping they'll see Azura again, since they don't want to know she's dead. Sometimes one of their siblings joins in, but more often then not they're on their own, talking to Azura, hoping she can hear them wherever she is. Eventually it became a habit to self-reflect and voice their thoughts out loud as a way to vent.

10- Who do you like to ship with this character? (If you do of course) Is it another character from the cast or is it an OC?

I paired them with Felicia in Birthright because I think they're really cute together (also the idea of Princess Felicia fascinates me for some reason, especially in Birthright since... Flora), with Silas in Conquest because I kept pairing them up ingame anyway and with Annabelle in Revelations, mostly because I found the idea of Corrin's family becoming even more comically large really funny😂 Also I feel they make a good couple!

11- Who do you not like to ship with this character?

Their siblings, for starters (and yes, that includes Azura). But also characters whose age difference is too much from Corrin's alleged age, ranging from literal children to people old enough to be their parent.

But besides those big no-nos that have been beaten to death by literally everyone... I can't think of anyone, at least not right now.

16- What do you think would improve this character? Like, character-arc wise?

I really wish they weren't an avatar.

I made a whole essay about the narrative implications of Robin being an Avatar and it was lots of fun, but honestly? I don't like the way Fire Emblem handles avatars. At all.

Either they make it so that they're barely even a character with Dora the Explorer-level interactions or a fully fledged character that feels directly at conflict with being an avatar.

And then there's Byleth, that from what little I know about 3H is a mix of both, and that's just gonna be lovely when I play it /s But both variants feel incredibly jarring, and they break my immersion when they're meant to do the opposite, the first one with characters suddenly turning to the screen and addressing you, the latter because you can't choose how you talk or what to do, so they do a terrible job at being "you". Just look at how people love to complain about Corrin being "dumb" or whatever.

Just adding an avatar makes you lose so many things, both minor like the camera bending over backwards to not show their face in CG cutscenes since it's customizable or awkward 1st person POVs, characters not being able to call them by name.

And this is more debatable on how much it affects the writing, but I definitely won't deny that FE games with an avatar tend to have the problem of revolving more around the protagonist and needlessly complimenting them even when they fuck up, or them feeling a bit more generic or at least subdued to make them more relatable.

And while I feel Robin wasn't affected by this (...mostly, but even them I'd say them being an avatar worked really well considering the series' state by that point and... well, just read my essay above I'm too lazy to repeat myself), I think Corrin got hit hard.

Mind you, I still really like Corrin and I think most criticisms of them are overblown at best and disingenous at worst, but they're a terrible avatar, since the only choice you can make that actually matters is the route split, they have a backstory and family that "relatable" is the last word I'd use to describe, and in general they're really unique in the way they talk and act, so the avatar thing feels like a huge detriment to the character.

If they weren't an avatar, they'd probably be more open in their personality and we'd have more flavored character interactions, they'd get called out more when they mess up (then again, the fact that they don't is what makes the latter half of Conquest feel "wrong" in a way that fascinates me, because it feels like someone constantly reassuring themself everything's fine while the world's crashing down around them) and also we'd be able to actually see them emote in cutscenes!

Oh, and also we wouldn't have shit like them being able to marry their family and literal children.

17- Have you ever had a crush on this character…?

On male Corrin? I don't know, probably? On female Corrin? Absolutely, but then again I crush on so many FE/fictional women it's honestly embarassing😳

19- What would the show/book/movie game be like if this character wasn’t present?

IT WOULd Be BETtEr, fATes bAD lMAo

But seriously, it's so out there to imagine it could be its own big AU! Lilith would be Anankos' only child, and since she doesn't go to Nohr to watch over Corrin she would go to Hoshido to join Mikoto's side and pretty much get adopted.

So:

Princess Lilith being a Diviner

Mikoto bonding with her adopted(?) daughter and the two quietly going to Valla just to talk about... you know, together whenever they can

Yato and the prophecy don't show up and that's good because I hate prophecies (well, that or Lilith's kid could wield Yato?)

What's not to love? And yes, I will take every excuse to give my babey fish dragon the spotlight she sorely needed

Not sure where it would go after that, like: does Azura still get kidnapped? How does the war start in this universe? Without Corrin, how would they reach out to Nohr since none of them have pleasant memories about the place or people?

It could take so many different directions and I love it!

21- Wild card! Talk about anything to do with this character! Anything at all!

Why are Corrin's default hair light brown? (Or y'know, whatever their hair color is called)

According to FE logic, they should be either black or blue like Azura's, and while I get why they didn't go with the latter for spoilery reasons I wonder why they don't have Mikoto's hair color.

That or have Sumeragi have Corrin's default hair color as a red herring to mock the very convention, it would have been funny.

It's not a criticism or anything, it's just... a nitpick, I guess?

When I replay Fates with the Team If translation I'm definitely making Corrin's hair black! Character ask game

#fire emblem #fire emblem fates #fe14 #corrin #ask replies #anonymous #character ask game #you know i wasn't planning to do a whole dang essay but got carried away

[fritae]

The Missing Piece - Ch. 13

Anticipation.

gang! au / ceo! au

characters: dabi x f. oc, lov

status: ongoing

read on ao3 here.

---

I let out a deep breath as I walk into my apartment, fanning my cheeks to calm myself.

This, I think with a smile, was a crazy day.

"Rina, is that you?" I hear Aliyah call from her bedroom.

I immediately straighten my face, hoping my cheeks still weren't flushed.

"Al, you're still up?" I put my hair in a scrunchie as I walk into her room. She's sitting on her laptop, reading glasses perched atop her nose. "Yeah, you weren't home when I came. Got worried. You usually get here first."

I rub my neck and lean against her door. "Yeah sorry, I got caught up with work tonight."

She folds her laptop and puts it away. "That's weird. I thought that Dabi guy was chill. It's like 3 am. You getting overtime?"

"Oh Dabi wasn't in today. Me and the others were trying to ensure everything was running smoothly when he comes in," I lie, so I don't have to spend time talking about him. Knowing how much Dabi hates outsiders knowing anything about him, even hearing his name outside of the Blaze somehow makes me feel uncomfortable.

Like I might say something I shouldn't.

Especially after tonight, discovering the things I have.

And what happened in his car just now...

Better to avoid talking about him at all.

Al watches me and shrugs. "Be careful. You're the type to overwork yourself. And that stress will affect your performance. Don't want to make the same mistakes you made at NNTV."

I grimace at the sound of "mistakes." I'm not sure if I'm imagining it, but there's something different in Al's voice.

Al's never criticized me before.

Not seriously, at least.

But her voice sounded almost...bitter.

I shake the thought out of my head. It wasn't a mistake. I was working hard and did what I thought was best for the company.

Even when I advised Mr. Lane to cut ties with the Todorokis. Sure, I was foolish to think he would listen to me.

But that wasn't a mistake.

Him not listening was the mistake.

And it'll bite him in the back one day.

"Right," I force a chuckle out. "How about you? Whatcha doing up so late?"

"Working on the programs for this week," Al sighs. "We're loaded. And Mr. Lane's on everyone's back these days. He's watching us personally.

"Oh?" I come in and sit at the edge of her bed. "Why's that?"

"We went down even further in the ratings. Mr. Lane wants something big. Something the whole country will be talking about."

"The Todoroki special?"

My heart is pounding so fast I fear she can hear it.

Aliyah looks up at me. "How do you know about that?"

"Mr. Lane discussed it with me before I left."

Al nods.

Does that mean they'll be broadcasting it this week?!

Al goes on. "And we're trying something new with The Midnight Show, we're bringing in Shoto Todoroki after the premiere."

My ears perk up immediately. Dabi needs to know this!

"That's good," I do my best to sound nonchalant. "That'll help your ratings a lot."

"I know." Al grins. "I just hope it goes well. Since you left, Mr. Lane's had us backing everything up directly to his computer to ensure everything runs smoothly. Has me going crazy."

An idea pops into my head immediately. Seeing the change in my expression, Aliyah tilts her head quizzically. "Rina?"

I nod. "Right, right." I tell her with a smile. "Hopefully he lays off your back after that. Only a week and the doc will be done with, right?"

Al nods. "Word about the case is spreading. This is the perfect time for us to release it. It'll help loads with the Todoroki's public image."

Hearing Al speak about their public image like this, like  it was worth salvaging, like it was right to protect them from answering for their deeds made me sick.

But I merely nod, my mind already thinking up what I had to do next.

I tap my hand against her covers and smile. "Well, rest up Al. You have a long week ahead of you."

"You too," She sighs, leaning back into the sheets. I turn off the lights and close the door behind me.

My phone lights up with a new notification as I head into my room.

1 message from Mr. Dabi -----------------------------------------

Dabi?

He usually doesn't text me this late unless he has urgent instructions for work. I shut the door behind me and climb into bed before opening it.

Dabi: Is this going to be a habit from now on?

Hm.

Me: What is?

I send back.

My phone dings a moment later.

Dabi: You know

Dabi: The hugs

Dabi: The kisses

I blush at that.

Me: Hey

Me: It was just one kiss on the cheek let's calm down

Dabi: I thought you wanted just one hug the other day too and now look at you

Dabi: Can't keep your hands to yourself

I roll my eyes but there's a huge grin on my face.

Me: If it bothers you, I won't do it again, sir.

I giggle when he types back immediately.

Dabi: Who said it bothers me?

Me: Then why ask?

Dabi: At least give a guy a heads up next time

Dabi: Especially if you're gonna run back into your house right after

I bite my lip, typing and erasing - wondering if I should send this next text.

Eventually, I click send.

Me: What else was there to do?

He makes me wait a little longer before replying this time. My heart beats in anticipation. I close my phone, but keep my eye on the screen - waiting for it to light up again.

But he leaves me for a few minutes, until I think he won't reply. Maybe he got busy. Maybe he has nothing else to say. I sigh and put my phone down.

Until another ding has me pulling it back immediately.

But I feel disappointment when I read his reply.

Dabi: Good night, Rina

I think about whether or not I should say good night back. I shake my head and put my phone down again and get under the covers, my mind flooded with thoughts as I stare at the dark screen that sits on my nightstand.

I don't expect it to light up again a minute later but it does.

I reach for it to see what else he sent.

And his reply makes my heart skip a beat.

Dabi: If you stayed you'd have found out.

#dabi #touya todoroki #dabi angst #dabi x oc #dabi fanfic #dabi x female reader #dabi fluff #dabi fic #dabi bnha #dabi headcanons #bnha #mha #bnha fics #lov mha #league of villains #touya fanfic

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Hurts So Bad... (Part 1)

-

Introduction

Masterlist

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: For the first time, Peter Parker meets someone he has no idea how to save...

Warning: angst(obviously), mentions of suicide, depression, self-harm...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Depression wasn't this crazy thing everyone made it out to be.

It didn't feel like you were endlessly falling. Or that there was this big secret inside of you that you just couldn't seem to find out.

It didn't feel like this desperate need to rid yourself from the world. You didn't feel like you were some terrible thing that no one should look at.

It didn't feel like wanting to cry every second of every day. Or being so filled up with sadness that you were about to overflow.

Instead, it felt like nothing.

Just that. Nothing. Empty. Listless.

Like a gigantic void that needed filling.

Sure, you smiled from time to time. Sometimes you even laughed. Like a functioning person.

But the second whatever caused you to smile was over, the void began bigger, and all of the things that once filled it quickly went from the top to falling in and disappearing and you were empty once again.

You couldn't pin it down to one exact reason. Sure you could blame your parents, but no matter how problematic they were you knew deep inside that they couldn't have been the soul reason. You could say school was causing your depression, but then again, how many times has that been said before?

The truth was, you didn't know. Maybe you were just... like this.

Your dad always told you there was no reason to be sad, as if you didn't know that.

That was the point, wasn't it? You were empty and you didn't know why and that was the problem but the second you told someone the problem they just told you that there was no reason to be empty and you already knew that and you just wanted to scream out "that's the fucking point."

But you couldn't.

So you didn't.

So eventually you stopped saying anything at all.

Because no one would really listen.

Suicide to you wasn't a need. It was a want.

It was not wanting to live with having to try every day to fill an unfillable void so the only thing you could possibly think of to end it would be ending it...

..And not being able to come up with a legitimate reason to try and stay.

And the self harm was for when the emptiness was just too much to take.

Peter was Spiderman when he met you.

Swinging on his webs, desperate to get home after an empty night of hardly any crime. He dashed over buildings, yawning after every other swing. "I need some sleep," he muttered as he finally reached his street.

Maybe it was fate. Maybe God or the universe wanted to stall you out. Or maybe Peter was just too tired to focus. But for whatever reason, Peter missed his house with one extra swing and hopped onto the apartment building beside his.

That was the one you lived in.

Quickly realizing his mistake, Peter chuckled. "I really need some sleep."

He stood on the edge of the building, preparing to jump to the next, when he heard a window open. Instinctively, he turned his head around to where the noise was coming from.

He watched as a girl climbed out of the open window, onto the fire escape staircase in front of her.

That girl was you.

You sat there, staring into the distance, your face expressionless.

Peter didn't know what kept him there, looking at him, but he did. You looked a little familiar but that was it. For some reason, he felt that he needed to be there. He needed to see you.

The universe needed him to see you lift up your sleeve and stare emotionlessly at the fresh cuts.

What you needed to make sure it was real. That the media said you needed to make sure you weren't faking it. Your shameful, painful grip to reality. Only you saw them though. They were the evidence that you hid.

But that night, Peter saw them. He saw them very clearly. "O-oh my God...," he gasped, unable to look away.

You blew them lightly, trying to ease the pain you felt. Your eyes trailed through each one, touching some and then wincing at the pain.

Peter stood helplessly, until he realized.. He was a superhero. He was supposed to help. He had to do something.

As silently as he could, he climbed down the stairs, closer to you. Where had he seen you before this?

When he was only one floor above you, he froze, as he saw a few tears trailing down your cheeks. He looked at his hands to see himself shaking. No, Spiderman couldn't do that. He was the hero. He couldn't be nervous about helping someone in need. 'Get it together, Pete...'

"A little too late to be out, don’t you think?," he said, deciding to not face the problem head-on.

Your eyes flicked to the side, but your body stayed still. You looked at the stranger with a dull expression. "Hello, Spiderman," you said softly, immediately pulling your sleeve up to cover your cuts. "There are no crimes here, as you can see..."

Quickly deciding against his previous decision, he cleared his throat. "Y'know.. that's a pretty nasty habit." That was all he could scrunch up. It probably wasn't the best thing to say, but he was already at a loss for words.

"Really? I hadn't noticed...," you said, though there wasn't a sarcastic drawl in your voice. It was as if you were in a listless trance.

Tears began to prick at his eyes. "I think-"

"I think you need to go look for crimes," you said, still staring straight ahead.

Peter sighed. "Look, I don't know you very much, but I'm sure someone loves-"

"What are you going to say next, Spiderman?," you asked, your eyes watering. "That suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem? That I'm going to hurt a lot of others while hurting myself?" You turned to look him dead in the eyes. "... that there are others out there that are going through worse?"

Oh how you hated that one.

Peter stared back. There was nothing he could actually say to come back at that. You continued, simply saying, "Thanks sir. But I've heard it all before..." He looked ahead, hopelessly thinking for some way to get ahead of this game. But as if he wasn't when there, you continued to speak.

"And they'd mourn, Spiderman. I'm sure they would.. but mourning ends after awhile." You breathed in. "-And I'm certain.. give it a year tops.. they'll remember me.. but no one still care about me... because I'd be gone."

He went to sit next to you. He didn't know what to say. "Um, do you wanna get some bandages for that?" He never fully looked at your face up close, respecting your privacy.

"I'm fine, thank you," you rushed out, just waiting for this to be over. "Thanks for your concern Spiderman but I- um, I'm fi-," you tried to say before your face scrunched up and tears began to fall. You couldn't stop it. You covered your face with your hands.

At least this was a new thing. At least now you felt something.

Peter jumped into action. He brought his arm over your shoulders. "It's okay," he said. "It's gonna be okay.."

At that, slowly through your tears, you started to smile. But it wasn't a real smile. It was a dark, bitter smile.

'It's gonna be okay' was something that you heard on a daily basis.

This Spiderman guy didn't know what you felt everyday. He hadn't known that you were on that staircase begging for the courage to jump off.

He didn't know that you were beyond help. That no amount of web-slinging, motivational quotes, or super strength would help you, or at least not for very long.

You didn't even hear the rest of the words that he said to you, or maybe he didn't say any. But it didn't matter.

You only knew that after a while, he somehow got you back through your window, into your room.

And that's when Peter realized, you went to his school. That's where he knew you from. When the light finally hit your face, he knew. Someone that he passed by in the halls every day was struggling. Someone needed saving.

And he had no idea.

-

You woke up that day feeling more tired than usual.

After sitting in your bed for a while, you stood and walked to your bathroom. The first thing you did was look into the mirror.

There were bags under your eyes. Massive bags under your eyes.

'Great.. that's what I get for crying so much last night.'

You washed your face and got dressed for the day. Then you realized.

'The razors..'

You couldn't remember whether or not you'd put them up, or thrown the dirty ones away for that matter.

'God, I'm an idiot.'

So right before school, you practically turned your entire room upside down in search for the box and the dirty razors beside them. You knew they were somewhere.

In the midst of your search, something caught your eye.

One of your sticky notes were on the window. You didn't remember putting a sticky note on the window..

You walked close. On it read:

You're right, miss. There's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said before. But I will say this. I'm involved now. It's my duty to save people in need of saving and that's exactly what I plan to do. I wasn't kidding when I said that it's going to be okay.

Your friend, Spiderman.

You must've read the note over a trillion times before you realized you were late for school.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @eridanuswave, @pastelbunny1501

#peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fic #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker #peter parker imagine #spiderman mcu #spiderman x you #spiderman x reader #spiderman fic #spiderman #hsb #hurts so bad

[g-2doc]

INCUBUS AU

I COME BEARING COLOURED ROUGH SKETCHES AND CHARACTER BACKSTORIES!!

- Based in Victorian era England -

(despite me knowing nothing about Victorians but hey ho.. if I did a Restoration au I would be ON that, but not Victorian idk anything about them... Weird how I make this unnecessarily harder for myself... I could base it in modern day if I wanted?? But no. Victorian aesthetic. Anyway, this was written at like 2am, so there's probably typos everywhere, but who cares?? I don't!)

Stuart Pot (b. 1865 AD - Victorian)

- Lives an upper class lifestyle. His father, David Pot, is a very famous inventor/engineer who started off with money from his parents anyway. His mother, Rachel Pot, does work in medical sciences/human biology on behalf of the Royal Society - though isn't recognised for her work as she's female, and was only granted access through a close friend (Frederick Cracker).

- Still lives with his parents at 23 years old (relatively normal at the time until marriage, especially after his head injury as a child calling for regular medical attention from his mother).

- Engaged to Paula Cracker (who I like and will NOT villainise no matter what you say!!!), which was arranged by his mother and her father (a highly respected fellow in the Royal Society). The engagement is a little complicated, as he has a habit of putting off the arrangements, to his mother's great annoyance. He and Paula are close friends, but neither can say that they love the other (like most engagements of their class). Paula, with his permission, sees other men in secret outside of their engagement. Whilst he similarly has her permission, he doesn't see other people, mostly due to his sometimes over-bearing parents and also his shy nature.

- His mother encourages him to go into the sciences, after his father's efforts to get him into engineering failed miserably. The connection to the Cracker's only assists with this. He sometimes talks to his mother's friends about medicine, as he has a small amount of interest in it, and they're experts anyway. Regardless, he always dreamed of being a musician, but he was told he couldn't by his mother. His family have a tradition of going to the music hall on the 23rd of every month (started on his birthday) because he likes to watch the singers. He also regularly goes to saloons by himself.

- He's mostly attracted to men, but has never been with anyone - hence his reluctancy to be legally bound to Paula straight off. As this is based in 1889, homosexual acts are a criminal offence (introduced in 1885), so obviously this is difficult for him, and causes him to be quite inhibited as a person. (Completely unrelated, but whilst researching this I found that it was illegal for a man to sleep with his deceased wife's sister, but, it was noted, not illegal to sleep with her first cousin. Mad.)

- He has blue eyes, until they turn black after he falls in love with Murdoc. They turn black as falling for an Incubus is sort of seen as a curse, so has side effects. Neither of them know this though, since Murdoc has never been loved before, and 2-D knows near to nothing about the occult anyway (he doesn't even really know what Murdoc is, but can tell he's not a virtuous creature by any means).

Murdoc (b. 666 BC - Brittonic Celt (sort of...) )

- An Incubus (which is a type of demon that feeds from sexual activity ;)) ). Like all demons, he's considered one of the many spawns of the devil. He feeds on fragments of a person's soul, and feeds once every other day - but can survive a month without feeding. Food doesn't provide sustenance and if he's fed it, his body will reject it and he'll vomit.

- Has to sleep, more than humans do (roughly 14 hours a day, usually from around 2 am to 4 pm). He usually sleeps in the morning as he's strongest from 9 pm up until 12 am after such it then starts to be considered early morning. In usual circumstances, he uses this time to find a mate and seduce them, sometimes entering their dreams to do so - sometimes this takes more than one night, but he'll never stay at it more than two nights, and will instead find a different, easier mate.

- If he plans on feeding off of a mate, he can't initiate the relation, or it doesn't qualify as the victim giving up their soul willingly. Therefore, to effectively feed, he needs to be the submissive one (Murdoc's a bottom and you can't stop me). He'll occasionally stay with a mate for a little while if it guarantees regular feeding, but can't stay indefinitely due to the side effects of his feeding often eventually resulting in a near-to-death state, and also the risks of being found/hunted. He can also get a person's soul from killing them, but because this is unwilling, it has side effects. If an Incubus/Succubus feeds this way regularly for a length of time, they'll eventually go insane, and other Incubi/Succubi will come and kill them out of instinct.

- Mates can be male or female, as Incubi (and Succubi) are bisexual. Murdoc hunts them out because he can sense lust, and Incubi/Succubi can tell the difference between certain types of lust. For example, he won't prey on someone lusting for a woman, because obviously he'd struggle a lot with that endeavour..

- (This is mostly based off stuff on Wikipedia) If someone who has done the sign of the cross within 6 hours touches him, their touch will burn him, hence this works as good Incubus and Succubus repellent. However, unlike other demons, he is unaffected by exorcisms (as it's his own body) or blessed items (as he doesn't respect the power of the church). (This isn't off Wikipedia, this is made up:) Also, he can't enter a church, and the Lord's prayer inflicts excruciating pain.

- His hands and feet are blackened up to the joints, he has glowing red eyes, pointed teeth, forked tail, and wings - which are all features of a demon. Unlike other demons, Incubi and Succubi have avian wings, not bat-like ones. Murdoc's resemble that of a raven, though there are many other variations. They also have longer tongues. His nose is broken and his front tooth on the right is chipped from being assaulted by a human man who didn't like him having relations with his wife, and was unafraid to punch a demon in the face (what a legend...)

- Doesn't really have any powers until the night window, where he can enter dreams and also perform telekinesis (though it isn't easy and takes a lot of effort, unless he's very angry, then it's a breeze). He's immortal and can't be killed by humans - can only be killed by other demons. Obviously he can fly, y'know, since he has wings... Otherwise he's just a weird looking guy who's been going about getting laid for 2.5 thousand years

- Once he falls in love (with Stuart), he gradually becomes more human. However, it isn't natural for demons to become human - so the process causes a lot of issues for him (gives him severe mood swings, makes him very irritable), and the physical changes tend to hurt a lot. First his feathers begin to fall, then his limbs fade to their normal colour and his eyes fade from red to brown (this bit isn't painful), his claws become brittle/break easily which can cause pain, his tail starts to grow shorter giving him growing pains. After this, no more changes can occur naturally, but the bones in his wings and his tail start to deteriorate severely, causing incredible amounts of pain. To relieve this, he'd have to cut them off, but as he becomes human he is able to die of blood loss/infection/go into shock so it'd be very risky, especially in a time where medicine is still underdeveloped. Furthermore, demons who become human are rejected by the devil and also looked down upon by all demons/monsters and may be killed out of spite.

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And that's all I have so far - but I've started a fic, so I'll probably make up more as write it..

#incubus au #2doc