#so it took me a while to realise the gaps weren't going to be filled in | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

queenshelby · 18 days

Text

An Illicit Affair

Part 30: Realisation

Pairing: Cillian Murphy (46) x Reader (23)

Warning: Age-Gap, Taboo Relationship, Infidelity

Many hours later, when the sedation wore off enough for you to open your eyes, Cillian was still there, his eyes fixed on you, a soft smile playing on his lips, his thumb gently stroking your hand.

"Hey. Welcome back," he murmured, his voice soothing as his eyes searched your face for any signs of pain or discomfort.

Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice, the familiarity, the tenderness, the warmth seeping into you, a comforting balm.

"Hi," you whispered back, your voice raspy but thankfully audible.

Cillian smiled in relief, his fingers tightening around yours, before gently brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face. "I thought I lost you," he admitted, the words heavy with emotion.

You blinked slowly, taking in the weight of his confession, before managing a small laugh. "You can't get rid of me that easily," you whispered, and Cillian chuckled lowly at your response, the sound tugging at your heartstrings in ways you couldn't quite describe.

The two of you stayed there, holding hands and exchanging gentle smiles, basking in the comfortable silence that seemed to wrap around you both like a warm blanket. Speaking was still difficult for you and Cillian just wanted to give you some time which was something that you appreciated.

When you finally spoke, your voice was barely above a whisper. "How long have I been out?"

Cillian shrugged, his eyes not leaving your face. "All night," he told you and you nodded, feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over you. It wasn't just physical exhaustion, either. There was a heavy weight settling on your shoulders, a weight made up of worry and fear.

"Why can't I feel my leg ?" you asked quietly, your voice barely audible.

Cillian's gaze immediately snapped to your face, his brows furrowed in concern, his grip on your hand tightening.

"The doctors said it's just temporary," he replied, his voice gentle, reassuring. "They had to fix a lot of damage. You lost a kidney and your leg was shattered in the accident, but with therapy, you should be able to walk again," Cillian told you, but his words didn't fully register. You were too caught up in the fear that had taken root in your chest, fear of never being the same again, fear of not being able to live the life you had always envisioned for yourself, fear of losing the things and the people that you cared about.

"Cillian," your voice was small, barely above a whisper, as you looked up to meet his gaze. You could see the worry etched into every line of his face, and it only served to fuel your own fear, threatening to drown you in its depths.

"Hey, it's okay," he reassured you, his voice soft and soothing as he leaned in closer. "You're going to be okay."

You wanted to believe him, you really did, but the doubts and fears that had taken root in your heart made it difficult.

"Were the nerves affected as well?" you asked,tightening your grip on Cillian's hand.

"Yes," Cillian admitted, his voice filled with regret and a heavy weight seemed to settle in the room, suffocating in its intensity. "You might be in a wheelchair for a while, but with therapy , you should be able to walk again," he continued, trying to sound positive but the uncertainty weighing down his voice was impossible to miss. He knew the chances were only sixty to forty and he knew that you knew as well.

Your breathing grew shaky and you couldn't fight back the tears that threatened to fall. "What if I can't?" you asked, your voice trembling as the fear took hold of you, paralyzing your mind.

Cillian took a deep breath, reaching for you, his arms wrapping around your shoulders, pulling you into a tight embrace.

You buried your face into his chest, letting out a shaky sigh, surrendering the tears you had tried so desperately to hold back. But you weren't ready to accept this new reality.

"Shh, it's alright. Everything is going to be alright," Cillian whispered, his fingers tangling in your hair as he held you, gently rocking you back and forth, soothing your trembling body just as your parents came walking in after having had a rest for a few hours in a hotel nearby.

"Oh sweetie, you are awake ," your mom exclaimed, hastily crossing the room, as she noticed you crying. Your father stood rooted at the door, a storm of emotion brewing in his eyes, conflicting, torn between his anger towards Cillian and the overwhelming feeling of relief and gratitude that his daughter had woken up.

"I will give you some time with your parents, alright?" Cillian murmured reassuringly, gently messaging circles on your back, offering silent comfort and support before reluctantly releasing you, allowing you to nestle back into the safety of your parent's familiar embrace, wiping away your tears as best he could, before turning around, his eyes meeting your father's confused and angry gaze, his body tense with coiled anger.

"I don't want this man around our daughter," your father mumbled shortly after Cillian had left the room, causing you to sigh heavily.

"Now is not the time!" your mother hissed, glaring at your father with a sharpness that could kill.

Your father scoffed, his eyes flickering towards the closed door through which Cillian had left, before turning back to you and your mother.

"He is older than me. I looked it up, on my phone. He is still married too," your father continued with a shake of his head, scowling at the thought. "He shouldn't be fooling around with our daughter," he murmured, a hint of hurt in his voice.

Your mother sighed, her eyes closing as she pinched the bridge of her nose, clearly overwhelmed by your father's persistent negativity.

"Stop dad, please ," you pleaded, your voice still weak, but gaining in strength as you spoke. "Cillian did nothing wrong. We love each other, it just happened. We couldn't control it and I don't want to control it," you murmured, your voice stronger now, confident and sincere.

"He defiled your body by agreeing to a risky procedure, with blood from another person now pumping through your veins, putting you in harm's way and at odds with God," your father argued, his voice rising in volume, anger flashing in his eyes.

"Dad, I am sure he made the decision that I would have made for myself, had I the chance," you interjected, lifting your hand in an attempt to shut down his outburst before it spirals out of control.

Your father scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest, his eyes burning with unsaid words. "He doesn't know you like we do and I don't approve of you being with this man," he stated firmly, his voice unyielding.

Your mother sighed and placed a gentle hand on your father's arm. "This isn't the time or place to discuss this," she chided, her voice gentle yet firm. "Our daughter has just woken up after having been a major accident and we're lucky she's alive," she said and your father grumbled under his breath but nodded, conceding to your mother's wise words. They both turned to you, their faces filled with love and concern.

You could see the relief in their eyes, the sheer joy that you were awake, alive, but there was something else too, a wariness, a tension that hadn't been there before.

After a while, this wariness slithered its way into your mind, plaguing you with question after question, clouding your judgment, and tainting your perspective.

You knew they didn't approve of Cillian, and a part of you couldn't blame them, but the other part, the part that held the majority of your heart, was defiant against their unspoken disapproval, refusing to give in to their demands.

So, you pushed your questions to the back of your mind, focusing instead on your recovery, determined to prove your doubts wrong.

Eventually, Cillian returned to the room, closely followed by a police officer who needed to ask you a few question about the car accident. The investigation was ongoing and the officers wanted to get a clear picture of the events leading up to the accident.

You gave your statement, your mind focused solely on the facts, refusing to let your imagination take over and turn this tragic event into a senseless tragedy fueled by irrational emotions but still you couldn't ignore the fact that, for a while, you had been followed by a black Mercedes.

Each time, you brushed it off as a coincidence but after the accident, this theory seemed highly unlikely.

"There is something else," you told the police officer, your voice hesitant. This was the first time you were speaking about this, admitting this to someone else and the words seemed to stick in your throat, refusing to come. "I think I was being followed," you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

The police officer nodded, making a note in his little notebook, before asking you a series of follow-up questions, carefully fishing for details and clues.

You answered each one as truthfully and as accurately as possible, unable to shake the feeling of unease that had taken root in your heart.

After the police officer left, Cillian turned to you, wondering why you had not told him about this before.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, the concern evident in his voice but you simply shrugged, looking down at your hands, unable to meet his gaze.

"I didn't think it was important. In fact, I thought that, maybe, I was being paranoid," you replied softly.

Cillian reached out, gently lifting your chin so that you had to look at him. "It is important," he said firmly while his mind plagued him, wondering whether Danielle had anything to do with this after the verbal threats she had made towards him after he had filed for divorce. And then, suddenly, it hit him like a freight train. An idea that came out of nowhere but that felt so incredibly right.

Danielle had recently purchased a new car for Max from their joint bank account in the UK. She wanted to gift him the car for his next birthday and once his license was being reinstated. Following a DUI, Max was suspended from driving for three months. Cillian even had an argument with Danielle about her purchasing a new vehicle for him after he had crashed the other, telling her that he needed to learn to take care of himself and the things he owned. He had no idea of the make or model as Danielle would have used an agent to make the purchase but if his suspicions were correct, then Danielle had crossed a line, a line that could never be uncrossed. He couldn't help but wonder if she would go as far as to kill to get what she wanted.

"I need to go," Cillian muttered, his thoughts consumed by Danielle and the danger she posed.

"What? No, you can't leave," you protested, gripping his hand tightly, unwilling to let him go.

"Please, Cillian. Don't leave me," you begged, your voice trembling with fear and desperation, your heart swelling with a mixture of love and gratitude for the man who had captured your heart so completely.

Cillian hesitated, torn between his desire to stay by your side and his obligation to ensure your safety.

"I promise I'll come back as soon as I can," he said finally, his eyes filled with regret as he bent down to place a gentle kiss on your forehead.

Tags:

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@heidimoreton @nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

@galxydefender @hunnibearrr @saint-ackerman @lunyyx @gentlemonsterjennie1 @ihavealotoffandomssorry @nadloves @lost-fantasy @nolucesn@mcavoy-girl @hjmalmed @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @blushykiss @tatumrileyslover @teawithsatanx @orijanko @rhaenyra4ever @xcinnamonmalfoyx @budugu @nadloves @kmc1989 @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @forgottenpeakywriter @smailaway @sophiaaguirred

#cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy

120 notes · View notes

underoospeterparker · 11 months

Text

peter parker - anxious minds

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

requested by @verybadatwriting over here -> sorry it took me so long to write this!

the only sound that filled your room was the clacking of your keyboard every once in a while, and your heavy sighs that expressed your displeasure at having to study. finals were nearing soon, and you were getting more stressed every day.

there was just so much to go over, and as you weren't really naturally smart, it took you a long time to understand smaller pieces of content, longer than most.

luckily, you usually had the help of your boyfriend, peter parker. but he was busy, probably doing spiderman stuff, and he hadn't responded to your most recent texts. you knew he was busy, but you missed him and his cuddles. he would always reassure you that everything was going to be okay, and that he would support you no matter what. he was the absolute best.

sighing lightly again, you let your head fall onto your open textbook. you were so tired, and your head was pounding. you could just close your eyes for a second, and then you would get back to studying, refreshed. in the blink of an eye, you drifted off into a peaceful slumber, unaware that you weren't going to be studying anytime soon.

a light tapping echoed from your window, but you didn't wake. luckily, you had left it open, just in case your boyfriend decided to pop by.

the red and blue clad superhero crawled through the open gap in your wall, stumbling lightly into your dim room. he pulled off his spandex mask, then took a glance at your room. your books were scattered on your messy unmade bed, glasses somehow lying on the floor next to a wrapper of.. was that gummy bears?

peter laughed under his breath, then spotted you passed out on top of you books. making his way to you, he lightly wrapped you up in his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. you blinked slowly, waking up from your nap. "hi," you murmured, giggling.

"hi, gorgeous," he mumbled, speech muffled by your hair. "studying too hard again, aren't you?"

you stiffened, then realised. your shoulders grew tense, and your boyfriend noticed. "shit," you said, breathing quicker. "i fell asleep. oh my god, i was supposed to be studying. i just wasted so much time, and-"

peter shushed you lightly, pressing a finger to your lips. you looked up at him, tears already welling up in your eyes. he cupped your cheeks lightly. "shhh, it's okay." the small, comforting words made you start to cry softly.

"hey," he murmured, concerned eyes not moving from yours. he shifted, lifting you into his arms so that he could place you lightly on his lap. your legs curled around his back, and he rested a hand on your lower back. "please don't stress yourself over this, okay?" he said quietly. "it's not worth it. i can help, whatever you need. you jus' gotta tell me what you're feeling. 'm right here."

you pressed your face into his suit, still crying. he cupped the back of your head, then said "it's okay, baby. i got you." you let yourself fall apart in his arms, then let him piece you back together with his soft coos of encouragement and praising sweet nothings.

he told you that you were enough. no matter what grades you got, no matter what you accomplished in life. you would always be enough.

#i adore this #my faves #fluff #drabble #peter parker #peter parker imagine #fanfic #marvel #mcu fandom #peter parker x reader #comfort #hurt/comfort

145 notes · View notes

fallingstarnovel · 1 year

Text

Chapter Nine

"Uh, hi," Evan said.

Ashlin didn't say anything in return, so Evan barrelled on nervously.

"I'm Evan. I should have introduced myself, haha... um. Did you... overhear...?"

Ashlin slowly nodded. Her pale eyes were bloodshot and bleary, which gave them a filmy, glossed over kind of look. Maybe Evan could convince her she was having auditory hallucinations due to lack of sleep?

"It's nice to meet you," he added, because awkward silences made him compulsively want to fill them.

"I recognise you," Ashlin said, eyebrows drawing together.

Evan nodded eagerly. "We're in the same class as Aliya. I've seen you there too."

"No. I've seen you in my dreams."

...

Evan deflated in his chair. Why couldn't he make friends with normal people? "Oh. That's... nice."

"I saw you making a cup of coffee."

Time came to a standstill, digging its feet into the ground and refusing to go no further. Evan went perfectly still. When he next spoke, it was casual, obviously so. "What do you mean?"

Instead of answering him, Ashlin picked up a pen and started drawing on the paper beneath her, tracing circles around circles in long black loops. "I don't think it means anything. It's just a dream I had. There's nothing special about making a cup of coffee."

"Oh," Evan said, like his hands weren't gripping onto the chair beneath him, white knuckled. He forced them to relax. "That's a boring dream to have about someone."

"Isn't it interesting?" she continued. "You looked so unhappy. Stirring and stirring and stirring..."

Evan felt his breath catching sharp in his chest. "Have we met before?"

Ashlin considered this, giving him another filmy look. "No. No, we've never met. Oh, you look unhappy again. I have a nicer dream if you want it."

Warily, Evan nodded. Ashlin began drawing more intensely, hand swirling around and around on the paper, though she wasn't even looking at it.

"I saw night walking through a meadow wearing her cloak of stars. You were following behind her, your eyes glass, on three legs, too afraid to touch. I saw you gather the courage and pluck a star right off her cloak." She yawned, her head drooping. "And then I saw you put it to your mouth. Did you eat it or did you kiss it? It was so interesting... I just wanted to keep watching..."

With that, her head fell on the desk again. Evan jumped in surprise.

Did she just fall asleep again? Just like that? And did that even count as a nicer dream?

He poked her, but she just murmured and let out a long breath from her nose. It was then Evan realised his hands were shaking.

It was fine. It was just a weird dream this girl had! Obviously she ate too much cheese before bed time. Or she was on shrooms.

It felt rude to leave her there alone, especially when Aliya had booked out the study room, and it wasn't like she was disturbing him, so Evan ended up staying there and getting some work done after all. It was better to focus on his studies than to think about... literally anything else.

Evan could not stop thinking about it.

He did literally the bare minimum of work, before bailing and heading to the nearest café for something sugary.

Ashlin's words kept knocking around his head and catching him off guard. Not just her weird dreams – though they were scary enough – but everything else too. Like the fact that there was a simple solution all along.

While he waited in line for a pastry and some hot chocolate, he sent off a text to Ruth.

> hey ruth sorry to bother you! i just had a quick question

The response took a little while this time. Evan was already sitting at a table with his order when Ruth finally replied.

You're not bothering me. <

> heh sorry

> but um anyway, question!

> today i heard that curse marks can get removed through being blessed, is that true?

Another long gap. Evan drank his cocoa and ate his pastry and didn't feel any better for it when Ruth next replied.

Sometimes. Where did you hear this? <

> well this is actually a very funny story!

> you're going to laugh

> i accidentally ended up studying with the demon from yesterday

These responses were very quick.

Did she hurt you. <

I am not laughing. <

Did she hurt you in any way. <

> no it was fine!! don't freak out, sorry, i probably should have opened with the fact nothing bad happened...

> but anyway yeah, blessing! why didn't we try that out last night?

> we should give it a go, right?

It might not work. <

> let's try anyway. i mean, i thought being blessed was a good thing! so even if it doesn't work at least i'll be full of good vibes and stuff!

> maybe we can try it out tonight?

There was a long delay, so long that Evan had finished his drink and left the café by the time he got the response.

Something came up. I can't come over tonight. <

Oh. Oh.

Well, that was fine. Evan blinked down at his phone, firmly ignoring his first reaction – which was childish and stupid, and tasted a little like betrayal.

> haha that's fine! maybe another night then :)

I'm sorry. <

> why are you apologising haha? these things happen, don't feel guilty!!!

I said I would be there for you. <

He did say that, didn’t he? But even Evan didn’t take it that seriously. He knew better than to expect someone to actually be there as much as they said they would be. Life was too complicated - something more important always came up. Always.

Anyway.

Since Ruth was busy, Evan could entertain himself. And he didn’t need an angel to bless him! There were churches full of people who could give blessings, right?

His mind made up, Evan pulled out his phone and started looking up nearby churches to visit.

Evan hovered in front of the church doors, too hesitant to actually cross the boundary and enter past the threshold. The doors were huge, made of old black wood, and were studded with iron nails - they looked like they were designed to withstand a siege.

There was a smaller door cut into the wood that visitors could enter through. Inside was too dark to see. Evan listened, but he couldn’t hear a sermon or a service or whatever.

He just had to go in, find a priest, and ask for a blessing.

…

He couldn’t do it.

It was too embarrassing, and there was a huge chance that whoever he tried to tell about his curse mark would think he was insane. Curse marks? Angels? Demons studying in the library?

His own memories of going to church were vague and unhelpful. Hard wooden pews, his feet dangling in the air, and an unbelievably tall vicar droning in the pulpit about… something to do with a ribbon wrapped around an orange. He wanted to eat the communion wafers because they looked like biscuits, but he was never allowed.

Not helpful at all. He should have paid more attention back then. Now he had an actual, practical reason to listen!

But Evan had never been back to church, not for a long time.

He took a deep breath and edged through the door, entering into the cool, dark interior. The inside was… surprisingly modern. Light wooden floors and caramel wood pews with pleasant cushions. Spotlighting on the dais and the pulpit.

A horrible electric thrill ran down his back, congealing over where he knew the mark was. It tingled and sparked, like it knew it was in dangerous territory.

Evan swallowed, and crept forward a step. There were one or two people sitting in pews, heads bowed in silent prayer. Before he met Ruth, Evan would have felt terrible coming into somewhere like this, where people were actively worshipping, while being somewhat indifferent to the concept of God. Like he was a sinister interloper hiding in a flock of sheep.

Now, though, he had rather pressing and deeply personal reasons to be here.

Evan started sweating as he tried to figure out his next move. He really didn’t feel like he was supposed to go deeper into the church, as if the closer he got to the pulpit, the stronger the feeling of imposter syndrome would be.

When an older woman in a dark shirt with a customary white dog collar appeared out of a nearby door, Evan made accidental eye contact with her and immediately regretted it. She smiled at him and made her way over - but Evan took a few steps back. Old, uncomfortable feelings were pressing down on him again, things he felt long long before he came to university.

“You look a little lost,” she said kindly.

Evan tried to make his mouth work. “No, I’m… I need… Can you…?”

As her smile turned into a confused frown, Evan flinched, before hurriedly tripping over his own feet in his haste to get away. He spilled out of the church and onto the pavement, strangely out of breath and flushed red with mortification.

The sun seemed very bright out here compared to inside. He was so distracted that he didn’t notice that he was about to bump into someone until it was too late: he and the stranger went sprawling.

“I’m so sorry,” he blurted out on autopilot. “Shit, are you okay - wait, you!”

The stranger he had knocked over was no one other than… hm. Evan had forgotten their name. Tree? Rock? Branch? No, it was probably Rock, right?

Rock was lying on the ground. When they saw Evan, they scrambled to their feet, eyes darting around nervously. “Hey,” they said, laughing awkwardly. “Evan. Didn’t see you coming out of… church.”

Their voice lilted curiously as they saw the doorway Evan just rocketed out of. Feeling very self conscious about the woman inside, Evan darted back onto his feet and held out a hand to steady Rock. “Yeah, I was trying to get blessed.”

Rock blinked. “… what? Why?”

“Because of this stupid tattoo,” he blurted out, and then sighed. “Someone told me to try blessing it, and now that I say it out loud, it sounds weird as hell.”

Rock slowly shook their head. “No, it doesn’t sound stupid at all. The tattoo you were asking me about, right?”

“Right.” Evan tried not to crumble with embarrassment. He probably sounded half crazy. “I thought about asking the vicar here, but I got a little nervous. They’d probably just tell me to stop pulling a weird prank on them if I asked.”

Rock was looking at Evan with a searching gaze, their eyes roaming over his face. They frowned for a second, before seeming to realise something.

“I know a priest,” they said hesitantly. “Someone who has experience with… well, it’s a curse mark, isn’t it?”

“Apparently,” Evan said helplessly. “I still don’t think it’s real, but I trust the person who told me. Wait, you know about curse marks?!”

Rock nodded. “You’re right to be cautious. It may be an ordinary tattoo. But let’s just say I’ve witnessed a curse before. I know they’re real. And this priest can tell us if it’s something you need to worry about or not.”

Taken aback, Evan looked at Rock with new eyes. He thought he was the only person who had experienced the supernatural, and yet Rock was apparently totally up to speed with the concept of curses. What the fuck? Was everyone around him getting cursed or blessed or followed by devils all the time, and he was just too oblivious to notice?

It was possible. After all, he point blank tried to tell Aliya that her study buddy was a demon, and she still didn’t get it. Was he just like that before an angel came along and opened his eyes to the truly abnormal things happening all around him?

“Okay,” he said hesitantly. “If you could, I would really appreciate seeing a priest. Does he. Does he have experience with. Um. Demons and stuff.”

Rock nodded. “Yes. Lots of experience. He travels around doing exorcisms and sermons, all hush because Big Church hates him. You know how it is.”

Evan, who did absolutely not know how it was, nodded and pretended he understood. “Well, lead the way.”

Rock guided them both through the city, down the sloping roads to what Evan recognised as one of the night club quarters. Now in day time, it was quiet and seedy, hemmed in by tall buildings with oppressively uninteresting entrances.

At night, this place was wall to wall with drunk students and youthful locals who wanted to find cheap booze and loud music. Or so Evan had heard.

Rock stopped outside of what might have been a shop front a long time ago. Evan looked up and examined the peeling name painted above the dusty windows.

“… the Blue Angel?” he said quizzically.

Rock shrugged. “Gotta let your clientele know where you are somehow, right?”

They knocked on the door. After a long minute, there was a rattle, and then the door creaked open. An older woman peered at them, her wrinkled mouth pursing in disapproval, but then she stepped aside.

She gave a particularly dirty look to Evan, letting out a judgemental sniff when he walked past. She disappeared into the gloom, leaving them alone in an empty bar that smelled of stale beer and alcopops. The floors were horribly sticky. It felt like they were loathe to let shoes leave their surface, clinging on with disgusting tenacity.

Bemused, Evan swapped a look with Rock, who just chuckled. “You should see this place on a Monday night. Pandaemonium. Alright, follow me.”

Crossing the room, they went down a very steep set of stairs into a basement with a low ceiling. Evidently this place, as damp as it was, was also busy on Monday nights, because there was another bar and a DJ booth crammed into the gloom. The smell was even worse down here, like old hops and vinegar and eggy vomit. The substance that made the floor so sticky also appeared to be on the walls and ceilings, making them shine like a watery cave. Evan swore he spotted stalactites forming in corners of the room.

It was dark, but Rock didn’t seem unnerved. They confidently opened another door, with another set of stairs behind it. There were several signs saying “keep out” and “staff only”, which they ignored.

Jogging down the stairs, the eggy smell got worse, like stagnant water. Evan surreptitiously held his nose. “Are you sure he’s down here?”

“He’s always down here,” Rock replied confidently. “When you need him, he’s always down here. He just kind of knows.”

Perhaps it was a mistake following this person he barely met at a party he didn’t remember to a nightclub he had never visited to see a priest who was definitely banned from every church in the country. Evan was starting to get second thoughts, and he was considering politely excusing himself, when the stairs finally ended. There was another door. Rock rapped on it, and someone inside coughed and yelled, “come in lad”.

Feeling socially obliged to enter, Evan stepped through the door and into a small, dark room. A fluorescent office light flickered above, casting a harsh greenish glow on the only inhabitant of the room. It was a man, maybe in his sixties, with a patchy yellowing beard poking out from his strange cowl. He looked like he might have fallen out of a sixteenth century plague pit, if only he weren’t wearing a grubby pair of white trainers and sweatpants that had seen better days.

Notably, he wasn’t wearing a cross or a dog collar. Evan wondered if this was what priests looked like on their days off.

Rock peered from behind Evan, patting him on the shoulder before scurrying into the room.

“Listen, we’ve got a poor guy here with a big fuck off curse on his bum.”

Evan turned red. “It’s not on my-!”

The old man raised his eyebrows. “Does he now. And why hasn’t he been dealt with yet?”

“Because it’s…” Rock said, before coming to a nervous halt. “Evan, do you mind showing him?”

Maybe it wasn’t too late to go home. But fine. He needed this fixed, and he’d done worse for the doctor, so Evan undid his belt and lowered his jeans just enough to show off the tattoo on his lower back.

The old man whistled. “Bit extreme. Someone really wanted this particular little shit.”

“Hey!” Evan said, but they ignored him. Tree said, urgently, “yeah. Someone did. Someone we both know did.”

Since he was facing away from them, Evan thought they had both gone silent, but when he turned back around, they were staring at each other with the telltale wide eyed look of a pair that had been in the middle of an intense whispered conversation.

“Bugger,” said the old man, and then, “shit me. You’re not really doing it, are you?”

“You fucking kidding? He’d kill me,” Rock said, looking both excited and terrified. “No way I’m claiming that, either way. But a mark like that. What do you reckon he’d pay for its safe return?”

The old man huffed, and spat, and then grinned. “Fine. But you didn’t talk to me. And I want tax. I’m investing.”

“Fine. Deal. So you’ll do it?”

“Yeah yeah, keep your hair on.”

Evan had very much lost the plot. “You know what? This has been lovely, but I think I’m going to head out.”

Rock and the old man stared at him. The only door into the room slammed shut, and the light flickered overhead. Evan suddenly felt like something had stuck the soles of his shoes to the floor.

Oh no. He really should have just gone to that nice, normal church. Even if they laughed at him, he had a feeling he’d be in a better position than he was right now.

“Don’t worry lad,” said the old man, leering with a dreadful tombstone tooth smile, “there’ll be someone to catch you at the bottom. So don’t bite through your tongue. They always bites through their tongue.”

Evan stared at him in bewilderment, and then at Rock. “What’s going on? What are you…”

Rock’s eyes were gleaming. There was a low susurration, the light flickered again, and then a trap door opened up underneath Evan’s feet.

Rock and the old man vanished from sight as Evan dropped like a stone into the void below the floor.

He fell for a very long time.

author’s note: this really happened to me actually

Previous Chapter | Contents | Next Chapter

#chapter

9 notes · View notes

bangtanficsforyou · 2 years

Text

Lost (02)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Au: Underground boxer! Jungkook, Coach’s daughter! OC

Genre: angst, smut and fluff.

Warnings: some fight scenes, smut.

Rating: 18+

Summary: Jungkook doesn’t know much about you provided for the fact that you’re his coach’s daughter. But soon, his feelings of indifference turn into a strong sense of dislike.

Word Count: 1.5K words

A/N: I got two pets and was busy with settling them in, because of which, this took some time.

Playlist

Main masterlist | Series Masterlist

"What are you doing here?"

The question causes you to sigh. "Make me four more orange juices, will you?"

Linda who is your next-door neighbour and barista at the cafe two buildings away from your place, frowns. "Didn't you order four, just ten minutes ago?"

"I did and spilled them on Jungkook." You bite your lower lip, feeling embarrassed and stupid.

"Jungkook as in the boxer guy with lip rings and all?" Seeing you nod, she goes inside to make your order. "Not going to lie, he's kind of intimidating."

"Tell me about it." You mutter, dejectedly.

You thought it was a good idea to get them something chilled to drink. Thought that it would help them relax and hopefully you could get to connect with them. But it went exactly in the opposite direction. You still can't get over the way Jungkook looked at you with his eyes filled with annoyance.

The reason why you want to get to know them better and get close to them is simple, you never had the opportunity to do so. For the longest period of time, you were in Canada at your uncle's place and while they treated you well, just like their own daughter, you can't deny, you've always felt this void.

For the most part, you had tried to ignore the feeling, because you felt guilty for feeling that way, it made you feel as if you weren't appreciating your uncle and aunt enough. But that void would make itself known to the point you couldn't just ignore it anymore, every time you saw kids happily playing and giggling with their parents. It made you feel this longing, that is somewhat unexplainable.

It's not that you've been completely out of touch with your family. There were always weekly video calls and messages being exchanged but it still didn't feel enough. You could feel there was a lot that wasn't transparent, it was as if there was an invisible wall and you never felt tall enough to climb it just to take a peek of the other side, no matter how hard you tried to. There was this distance both physically and emotionally, that you couldn't overcome. It pained you every time you thought of how you have a family but still don't know them.

After begging for months, your father had finally let you come back to South Korea. You still remember the sigh he had let out before letting out a "fine" as if the words were hard for him to speak.

You were so excited when you returned home. You were received with warm hugs and a 'welcome home' party which you were grateful for but it didn't take you long to realise that there was a lot that needed to be worked on because even though you were home, it didn't feel like home.

So that's what you were doing, trying. Trying to close the gap between you and your family, which admittedly was a lot of work. And that included getting close to the people that were close to your family and had somehow become a part of your family, which involved Jungkook.

But today, you realised that you might not have the best impression on him. His facial features let you know that, he was pissed and not to mention how he also looked frustrated, which honestly confuses you but at the same time makes you feel anxious.

He couldn't possibly be frustrated with you, right? Because this is the first time you did something that can be considered annoying or a mood spoiler and isn't frustration an emotion that you feel when something or someone bothers you for a while?

He must have been frustrated with something else, you reason to yourself and find a bit of solace in the thought because you don't want to believe that you messed up this quick.

Jungkook definitely was frustrated with you.

You realised it in the span of the next two days when you joined to watch them practise.

Initially, you had intended to apologize to him, hoping his anger had gone away and that he would possibly hear you out. You weren't planning to explain why you had brought the drinks that day but you did hope to apologise to him sincerely.

However, you backed out immediately after noticing how his features contorted in irritation when you had called out his name to apologise. You pretended to have forgotten what you had to say, like a fool, and excused yourself.

The second day, you were more observant towards him and it made you come to a conclusion, one which you desperately hoped wasn't true; he doesn't like you. But it was visible in the way he would be freely talking to the other people in the room but how his expression would turn into that of pure annoyance every time you would speak, despite him not being the one you were speaking to. It was as if even your voice annoyed him, which led you to think, that maybe it's your presence that annoys him.

But you have no idea, why.

A mere spilling of juice can't be the reason, right?

You didn't wish to find the answer to that and hence stopped going to the garage to watch them box. You wanted to believe that his annoyance was because of the juice incident, and that his dislike towards you, was only temporary.

“From next time, try and mind your own business and stay away from me.”

As the door closes shut, you find your eyes welling up with tears.

Shit. Shit. Shit. You messed up.

You had no idea that the gloves belonged to him, you just came in to hit the punching bag when you spotted the gloves lying on the floor. With no one in the room, you didn't have anyone to ask who they belonged to and assumed they must be your dad's. Not giving it much thought, you picked the gloves up, to aim some punches.

By no means were you an expert when it came to boxing, you didn't even know the name of the moves but for some reason you liked it. You had tried boxing for the first time in your early teenage years, just to feel a little closer to your dad. The first time you hit a punching bag, it hurt like a bitch and it was enough for you to not try it again for months, that is until you got so frustrated and heartbroken with your dickhead of an ex-boyfriend, that you tried boxing again. Imagining his face as the bag, did the trick for you and you honestly felt better after that. Since then, you've had this weird relationship with the sport and would box every time you needed to cool down.

Which is exactly why you wanted to box and it was working, after around ten hits, you were feeling a little lighter.

That is until Jungkook came in.

You hadn't noticed that he had entered the garage until he was standing right in front of you, taking you by surprise. You can't even begin to explain how you felt your heart drop to the pit of your stomach when he said that the gloves were his.

His hard eyes, clenched jaw and most importantly his words ring in your mind, making you feel incredibly frustrated with yourself for doing what you did but even more than that, you honestly hate yourself for the tears that have now started streaming down your face.

Why do you care so much, anyway? It shouldn't bother you if someone were to dislike you. You shouldn't let other people's opinions on you, get to you, right?

But you can't help it, can't help the way you feel and you know for a fact that it isn't just Jungkook, that has caused you to finally have this sort of reaction.

It is because of how your father has been too busy with some tournament, it is because of how your mom has gone to your grandparents' place just because she wanted to and it is just how you feel as if no one notices your efforts and how they all seem to go in vain.

Because shouldn't you be treated differently than the way you're being treated right now? You don't mean to sound like some sort of an attention seeking human being, but shouldn't they at least give some time to you the way one does after not meeting someone for years? You are not even just someone, you are their own daughter, for fucks sake.

You get that your dad is busy but couldn't he at least try? Couldn't your mom have gone to visit her parents some other time? And you know for a fact that it wasn't any sort of emergency, she just felt like it.

It makes you feel like your absence didn't bother them the way, their absence did to you and the thought itself hurts more than you can explain.

Truth be told, you regret coming back to Korea.

Taglist:

@bishuthot @libra04 @nadzzzblog @chokoomilk @taehyungseggs @jeondolly

@shadowmoon21 @scuzmunkie @bruisedscrewedandtattoed @ttipa @jeonswifey @1-in-abillion @namjooncrabs @almosttoopizza @lily-tigers @joonjulyagust-d @squishyjk

Permanent taglist:

@mwitsmejk

#Jungkook x Reader #jungkook smut #Jungkook fanfic #Jungkook scenarios #Jungkook angst #Jungkok fluff #Boxer Jungkook #Underground boxer Jungkook #Jungkook drabble #Jungkook drabble series #Bts scenarios #Bts fic

433 notes · View notes

moririki · 3 years

Text

⤷ A BLOODSTAINED CONFESSION

RENGOKU KYOJURO X READER -> 3.6K you patch up your fellow hashira after the hardest fight of your lives

REQUEST -> ✰ CONTAINS -> MUGEN TRAIN SPOILERS like before the cut and everything, mentions of blood + gore, so kinda angsty but definitely a fluffy ass ending, reader is a hashira but it's left ambiguous as to what element you are👍, i watched the movie two months ago so my recollection of dialogue and plot may be *slightly* off, near-death experience, idk how to write combat so i just... didn’t, reader lowkey thirsts over rengoku's back muscles and shit because why tf not, idk how injuries work aaaa MORI'S THOUGHTS -> rengoku my beloved,,, he deserves the world,, i think i should have made this less angsty im SORRY (i rlly heard "extra fluffy" and it just went 👩🏻➡️ straight through my head huh) also i bet you guys missed me and my late-ass posting <3 but here i am!! for now!! yeahhhh!! i feel like the writing in this got a little repetitive so i apologise for that

APPARENTLY, THE DESTRUCTION OF AN ENTIRE TRAIN wasn't enough to end this mission. even with one lower six demon defeated, another much stronger one had replaced it. the arrival of akaza was a significant turning point in the battle, and one that you cursed yourself for missing.

you should have known that this mission would he more dangerous than expected when both you and rengoku had been deployed to the train, alongside three rookies. you should have known better than to let rengoku convince you to stay back and help evacuate rather than let him handle it alone.

he had been so full of confidence- squeezing your hand firmly before rushing off, leaving you feeling slightly lightheaded from the brief contact of his warm palm. you should have wished him luck, told him to be careful, anything, but he was gone before you had the chance.

you made quick work of evacuating the passengers of the derailed train, making sure that they were all confirmed to be outside of the carriages before entrusting their safety to zenitsu and nezuko. it was around when you had carried out the last passenger that you felt the ground rumble beneath your feet, coming from the other side of the embankment that you were currently placed at.

before you gave yourself time to really think things through, you were shouting instructions to the pair of demon slayers and dashing off towards the source of the noise, hand readily placed on your sword. that was the direction that rengoku ran is all that went through your mind.

the scene that you found yourself facing did little to quell your fears. you reached two bodies first, recognising them as the hapless figures of inosuke and tanjiro. from a glance you could see the extent of their injuries, with the latter laying on the ground barely conscious. the boar-headed one could only stare at the fight happening several metres away, his shoulders slumped in defeat and swords hanging by his sides.

“there’s no opening,” he only whispered, barely audible. that much was true. even you had difficulty keeping up with the movements of rengoku and the demon that he was fighting. the fact that it had already been several minutes and that there was no clear advantage concerned you, and you unsheathed your sword.

“you two stay put, and learn what it means to be a hashira, alright?” you tried offering a brilliant smile, much like you had seen the flame hashira do so many times, but you hoped that yours didn't fall flat. from the slight relief shown on tanjiro’s worn face, though, you took that as a good sign.

without wasting another second, you rushed towards rengoku and the demon, assessing their movements. inosuke wasn’t joking when he said there wasn’t any opening, their movements equally matched. you took the chance and struck when rengoku managed to get the demon to stumble back. bringing your sword down in a vertical strike, you severed one of its arms, before taking a cursory glance back at rengoku to make sure that he was alright.

your wound did little to hinder the demon, as it simply chuckled before regrowing its limb.

“oh? another hashira? don’t tell me you think that this is a fair match,” the demon sneered as you held your sword in front of you, still nervously eyeing the blood that was beginning to drip at rengoku’s feet. it amazed you as to how he was still standing, let alone also ready to keep fighting, but you weren’t going to stop him with that amount of determination in his eyes.

“i wouldn’t say that you appearing after we had to fight an entire train was fair either, but here we are,” you glared at the demon, adjusting the grip on your sword.

“think you can hold on a little longer?” you asked rengoku, still facing the demon.

“always.” you could picture the steadfast smile on his face, lending you his strength whenever you needed it. you took a deep breath, starting your total concentration breathing and launching off of your foot, propelling yourself forwards.

you heard rengoku's footsteps right behind you, dependable as ever. when you swung your sword and sliced through, you knew that the flame hashira was there to follow through with a co-ordinated attack.

despite your best efforts, the upper six demon lived up to its status and provided to be more than a challenge for even both you and rengoku fighting him simultaneously. in fact, akaza had even managed to gain the upper hand a few times, leaving you with a cracked rib that was making it more difficult to focus and control your breathing.

but you and rengoku's big break arrived in the form of a rising sun that leeched itself into your surroundings. the glow was nothing but welcomed by you, though your demon opponent let fear flicker across its face for the first time this night as it turned foot and fled. the invisible adrenaline-fuelled strings that held you up snapped, and you felt the strength from your body sap, too spent to gove chase to akaza.

the bitter taste of defeat crushed you, numbing your senses as you barely heard the cries of tanjiro as he yelled at the retreating figure of akaza. you turned to your fellow yashira, eyes widening and senses returning as you took in the way he had slumped to the floor, head bowed as he kneeled.

"no, don't you dare," you mumbled, dropping to your knees too in front of him. panic gave your limbs a new purpose as your hands stretched out in front of you, seeking out the warmth rengoku still emitted even when mortally wounded.

the most pressing matter was the dark stain of blood that gave his uniform an unnatural sheen that was still spreading. you pressed a hand to the source of it, a large gash across his stomach that was much too deep for your liking. your other hand came to rest on his face, tilting his head up to look at you for any sort of good sign to cling onto.

"you better stay alive!" your voice was shrill, harsher than you wanted it to be, but those were factors you could hardly control more than the blood oozing from rengoku's stomach. you could see how unfocused his eyes were, and how heavy his head was when only being propped up by the waning strength in your hand. your own injuries had been forgotten, cast aside in favour for you to fear for the flame hashira's life.

and still, despite everything, the man still smiled. the blood covering half his face did little to mar its radiance. rengoku raised a shaking, bloody hand of his own, letting it fall heavy against your own as you felt your hold begin to slip.

"you're hurt too, you know." his words were more of a shaky exhale, though you heard it all the same. you felt a smile slip onto yours too as rengoku proved to still be so vigilant in the wellbeing of others.

"you don't need to remind me, shut up and save your energy," you whispered back. you didn't trust yourself to speak any louder in fear of your voice cracking.

"but.. i have to tell you something." the insistence in his eyes was back, burning into you so mich that you couldn't help but lean closer, trying to ease his burden of being audible.

"quit talking like you're dying." you were practically whispering into his ear, close enough to feel the rasp of his breath as he laughed, holding your hand tighter. his other hand came up to your own face, rough thumb brushing against the skin underneath your eye, wiping away a tear you never realised had tracked its way there.

"let me bandage you up." your voice may not have shook, but your hands definitely did as you disentangled them from rengoku's hold, urging him to put pressure on his wound while your fingers found purchase on the hem of your uniform and ripped off a strip of it. it was barely enough to cover his injury but you managed to wrap the severed cloth around his middle a few times, tying it tight and hoping that it was enough to stop the bleeding.

"just.. stay with me until backup comes, alright? you've got tell me something once we get out of here, remember?" rengoku nodded into your palm, smiling at your words as his eyelids fluttered shut. but you were close enough to still feel that he was warm, to feel the slight rise and fall of his chest as he managed to still breathe, and that gave you some comfort.

minutes felt like hours when you had to talk to fill the gap. whether it was to give rengoku something that tethered him to this mortal realm, or a way for you to distract yourself from your own pain, you onew that you would both have to tough it out a little longer, just until the others arrived.

"you know, i've always admired you." you were surprised at both his words and how clear rengoku's voice sounded. your grip on his hand tightened a little, and you leaned towards him so that your forehead pressed against his.

"this is hardly the time to say something like that, kyojuro." you tried not to laugh, the pain of your ribs starting to edge back in as the adrenaline left your body as the sun soaked your bodies.

"i just wanted you to know." you would have responded to the man if it weren't for the shouts that became all too clear. help was here, and everything was going to be okay now.

you didn't want to let rengoku out of your sight, but many insistent hands prised his body from your grip, and with barely the strength to speak there was little that you could do about it except succumb to the pain of your wounds and finally fall unconscious.

recovery was never an aspect of fighting that you looked forward to. when you finally came to, there were a few gripping moments of panic when you asked a nurse if rengoku was here, if he was alive. you had been assured that he was before the pain and medication kicked in again for a fitful sleep as your body healed.

but no matter how you were pressed back into bed, into the constraints of sleep, you never really felt like you were at rest. your mind was still racing to places your body couldn't as it pieced together the events just before you got hospitalised.

when you could finally get up without keeling over, you were stumboing your way through the hallways as stealthily as possible, leaning on walls for support and peering into rooms as you walked past, in search of your fellow hashira. your cards of luck had lined up when you stumbled upon his sleeping figure less than three rooms down from yours.

he looked a lot cleaner, still donning a serene smile even when unconscious and you felt the panic gripping your body loosen its hold. the throb of your most likely broken ribs was enough of an edge to keep you awake, and you made your way over to rengoku's bedside.

there was a convenient chair placed next to him, and you tried not to grunt in pain as you sat down in it. rengoku didn't even stir at your approach, and you resigned yourself to sitting there, studying his figure and resisting the urge to check whether he was actually breathing or not. if you focused enough, you saw the subtlest rise and fall of his chest, just enough to qualm your fears.

your concentration was broken as you heard the sliding door open again, and the hesitant voice of a nurse breaking your intense silence.

"ah, i'm sorry to interrupt but i need to change rengoku's bandages." to prove her point, the nurse raised her arm to emphasise the strips of fabric held by them. you stood up hastily, sending a cursory glance back at the still-sleeping form of rengoku.

like all matters regarding the flame hashira, you found your mouth and body working a little faster than your brain.

"it's alright, i can change them for you. i'm sure that you have plenty of other patients to tend to." the nurse nodded, though she still looked hesitant to hand you the bandages. you gave her a reassuring smile, stretching out your hand to take them. "i've had plenty of experience with this, don't worry."

the nurse appeared relieved, giving you a quick thanks before exiting and letting the door click shut behind her.

you turned your attention back to rengoku's sleeping figure only to watch him crack a single amber eye open and give you an almost sheepish smile. you couldn't help the flooding sensation of relief that drenched your bones, and you returned his gesture.

"i'm glad to see that you're alright." rengoku's eyes never left yours, and you felt yourself grow hot underneath his gaze.

"glad to see you too." you offered a hand, helping rengoku shuffle further up the bed with minimal effort on your side. despite the bandages covering a large expanse of his upper body, his grip on your hand was still stable and you bit back the fond smile threatening to bloom on your face.

luckily for you, rengoku seemed to get the message that he needed to get shirtless without you asking him, which saved you a whole lot of embarrassment. you weren't confident in your ability to look him in the eye and ask him to strip without blushing, though you did exactly that as your eyes raked over his bare skin.

littered with scars and covering taut muscle, it was hard not to let your eyes wander down his form. from the look on rengoku's face, he looked well aware of the effect that he had on you and fixing you with a practically imperceptible smirk. you were quick to ask him to turn around, and he obliged as quickly as someone with broken and bruised bones could manage.

his back was the same story, with broad shoulders and defined shoulderblades that had muscle twitching without you touching it. you sucked in a breath, way too audible for your liking, and tried not to let your hand stretch out to run your fingers down the expanse of his back. you were here to help treat him, not indulge in some fantasy of yours.

your mindset snapped back to professionalism as you grabbed hold of the fresh bandages, opting to put them on after you removed the old ones. while there was no sign of infection, you still grimaced at the bloody sight of rengoku's major wound. you tried not to show how much it had upset you, both now and in the moment, and your attention turned to your slightly trembling fingers.

you were careful to avoid where his skin was obviously discoloured from bruising, not wanting to cause him any unnecessary pain. he was warm to the touch, enough to invite you in with some false sense of confort before burning you alive. the way his back muscles jumped at your touch did little to help your concentration, but you shouldered on.

your mingld escaped you, insisting on recounting those painful minutes where rengoku was vpeeding out on the battlefield. there was a particular focus on his insistence to tell you something, and you bit your lip. surely, he would ask you at some point from now.

"how are your ribs?" rengoku's voice cut through the silence, its rasping edge acting as evidence of hiw soundly he had been sleeping earlier. while it wasn't the question you wanted him to ask you, you were never one to turn down conversation. especially from him.

"worry about yourself, kyojuro. i'm fine." your appliance of the fresh bandage meant that you would now have to be stood in front of him, a development that had your face flaming from the close proximity. silence set in, and all that distracted you from the rise and fall of his stomach was his breath tickling the sensitive skin of your neck. your eyes flickered towards the ceiling, relying on your hands to guide yourself instead.

you dared to glance down and saw rengoku’s eyes fixed on your face already. there was something about his softened features and the look in his eyes that had you scrambling to stare at the blank ceiling again. as much as you would like to retreat at every first sign if danger or confrontation, you knew that you woukd have to talk to him soon, whether it was you or him who brought up the conversation topic from that day.

taking a deep breath, you perched yourself on the edge of rengoku's bed, still maintaining a professional amount of distance from him. still close enough to spot how his smile brightens when you choose to stay. you glanced down at your fingers, twisting knots into themselves as they were placed in your lap. you almost cursed and placed them underneath you to stop that, but instead you fixed your gaze on the flame hashira's ever-present smile.

"do you remember when you said you had to tell me something? right after akaza?" rengoku straightened up a little, nodding. you gave a cursory glance to the bandages safely wrapped around him, and winced as you remembered how much blood had left him that day.

as if he could tell what you were thinking, rengoku reached forward and took your hand in his. you sucked in a breath at the sensation of his calloused hands, wincing as your ribs ached in protest. you couldn’t bring yourself to break his stare as your fingers intertwined, and rengoku brought you slightly closer to him. the tension was palpable, and you squeezed his hand in an attempt to alleviate some of it.

“what did you want to tell me, kyojuro?” you were still closing the distance between the two of you, voice barely above a whisper because there was no need to talk any louder for him to hear you. everything about him drew you closer, and the thought of pulling away never crossed your mind. you finally stopped, inches away, staring at him expectantly.

“well, there was a chance that i was going to die that day, so i was going to be selfish and tell you that i love you."

it amazed you how he could say that with such confidence when that statement had effectively swept you off of your feet. you were well aware that you looked more than caught off guard- your eyes had widened, and your mouth probably hung open from shock. that was nothing to stop rengoku’s words, though. if anything, it only encouraged him to keep going.

"and when i said that i admire you, i meant it. i admire your strength and how willing you are to help others. i admire you when it's sunset and you're laughing and i admire the way your hands feel, especially here." he guided your hand to his face, letting it cradle his cheek as he rested his own hand at your wrist, not willing to let go. you were sinking into the warmth of his body, letting his borrowed strength keep you upright.

“and most of all, i admire you because i find your beauty striking in everything that you do.” you were silent as rengoku’s eyes searched your own, watching as his lips split as he laughed. “you’re crying again.” you raised your other hand to your cheekbone, feeling the liquid there that began its trek down the planes of your face. you wiped them away with the back of your hand, keeping yourself anchored to rengoku as you curled your fingers around his own.

you felt so light that you could float away, and you couldn’t help but laugh and grin as you fully processed the confession of the man lying underneath you. tears still rolled down your cheeks, and you couldn’t help the bittersweet pang as you remembered exactly why he was here recovering.

“you really scared me back there, you know?”

“it wasn’t my intention.” you laughed through your sniffle, feeling his warm hand trace patterns on the back of yours. you shuffled forwards and, as best as your shared injuries allowed it, you gave rengoku a hug. while your arms were around his neck, his rested squarely on your lower back, and it was better than anything else you could imagine.

you pulled away, relinquishing the comfort of his arms in favour of looking him in the eye as you prepared what to say next. admittedly, it was a lot easier when you knew how the other person felt about you.

“you know i admire you too, rengoku, and i love you. so much.” joy rewrote itself within his eyes, and they almost glowed with how intense his emotions were after you uttered those words.

“you do?”

your yes came out as a barely audible breath before you were being snagged forwards by him again. you practically crashed against his lips, but you welcomed the sensation, pulling yourself closer to him and settling on his lap.

you sighed into the searing kiss, only truly appreciating his warmth now as you felt it spread through you. you kissed him back intensely, ignoring the dull ache of your ribs to chase the addictive feeling that you only got around him.

around the person who loved you back.

take a look at the menu - ,, ⛩ ·˚ ༘ ꒱

#moririki‧₊˚✩彡.🧺#100 followers event!‧₊˚✩彡.📦#x reader #demon slayer #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #rengoku x reader #rengoku kyojuro x reader #rengoku fluff #rengoku kyojuro fluff #demon slayer fluff #demon slayer imagines #rengoku imagines #rengoku kyojuro imagine #rengoku #rengoku kyojuro #fluff‧₊˚✩彡.🕯#event‧₊˚✩彡.📦

589 notes · View notes

jakesavocado · 3 years

Text

Written All Over Your Face || P.SH

Pairing: Tutor!Sunghoon x Fem!Reader

Genre: Smut. (Fem Receiving, Male Receiving, Unprotected Sex)

Words: 1.77k

Warnings: 18+ content, read at your own discretion

Synopsis: Your tutor notices the way you seem to be paying more attention to his lips than what he's teaching you and figures it doesn't hurt to give you what you're craving for.

﹅﹅★

Studying with Sunghoon was a terrible idea. For the past two hours, you hadn't been able to focus on your notes for a second even, far too awestruck by the sheer beauty of your tutor. The way he would lick his lips after explaining a topic to you or run a hand through his shiny black hair was making your mind run wild with extremely lustful and inappropriate thoughts. You couldn't help yourself. Sunghoon was just too hot for you to stop drooling over. Sitting so close to him was making it impossible for you to concentrate on your studies.

Sunghoon began to notice. Your eyes lingered on his face a second too long and your breath always hitched whenever he leaned closer to you. Though he seemed clueless, he wasn't dumb. He knew you weren't paying attention. Luckily for you, Sunghoon wasn't in the mood to teach you any longer.

"Did you understand this part," he asked, trying to suppress his smile? You nodded even though you hadn't. That didn't surprise Sunghoon. Regardless, he sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Let's take a short break then. We've been going at it for a while now."

You were relieved by his words. Slamming your textbook shut, you got out of your seat and stretched your body. Sunghoon's lingered on your figure. You turned to him unknowingly. "I'm gonna go get something to drink. Do you want anything?"

Sunghoon nodded. "I'll just have whatever you're having."

You smiled and skipped off to the kitchen, pulling a carton of juice out of the fridge. Pulling the cabinets open, you reached up on your toes to take out two glasses. Sunghoon bit his lip as he watched you struggle. He smirked and quietly left his seat, making his way over to you. Sensing something behind you, you froze in place. Sunghoon easily retrieved the glasses you were straining for, setting them down beside you. "Thank," you mumbled, feeling anxious. Even though he had given you what you wanted, Sunghoon didn't move. Instead, he tapped your waist, making you spin around. It was only until you faced him, that you realised his proximity. He placed his palm on either side of you, caging you between himself and the counter. You leaned back, wanting to create some distance between you, only to have him shorten the gap again.

Sunghoon was smiling. You had no idea why. Something told you that you would be better off not knowing.

"I see the way you look at me y/n," he said, sounding amused. The colour drained from your face. Were you really that obvious? Sunghoon chuckled. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I think it's cute." That didn't help your case. Sunghoon trailed a finger up your arm, giving you goosebumps. You swallowed nervously when he took his hand away, placing it back where it was, beside you.

"Do you want me," he asked candidly, eyes turning serious all of a sudden? You feel like he's caught you off guard. "Come on, don't be shy love. Just be honest. I swear you won't regret it," he assured you, smiling kindly. You didn't know what to say. You didn't have the guts to be truthful. What if he scorned and rejected you? You wouldn't be able to handle that humiliation. Sunghoon noticed the conflict in your eyes. "Just so you know. It's written all over your face. So whatever you tell me, don't lie to yourself."

Squeezing your eyes shut, you decided to ignore your nerves and just say it. "Fine. I do want you," you admitted, feeling a weight lift itself off your shoulders. The giddiness in your stomach remained, however. It felt more exciting than nerve-wracking. Sunghoon beamed and lifted your chin, keeping you from staring down at your toes. "That's a delight to hear," he began, stepping even closer to you. "Because I want you too."

His lips lingered over yours teasingly. You could feel his breath fanning over your mouth. He looked at you with a playful glint in his eyes. You let out a shaky breath, realising what he wanted. Closing your eyes, you leaned forward and merged your lips with his.

Sunghoon was quick to cup your jaw, humming in satisfaction. He snaked an arm around your waist, pulling you close. His soft lips moved against yours with fervour. You clung to him, wanting to melt into his embrace. His scent was addicting, making your mind reel in ecstasy. His hand lowered down to your ass, giving it a gentle squeeze. Sunghoon pulled away to catch his breath, lips slightly swollen because of the intense kiss. "You wanna take me to your room or something?"

Smiling whimsically, you took his hand and led him upstairs to your bedroom, kicking the door shut behind yourself. You fell onto your bed, making space for Sunghoon to come settle over you. He crashed his lips onto yours without wasting a second, hand slipping under your shirt to feel your skin. You raised your knee to his waist, clutching the thin material of his shirt in your palm. Sunghoon's lips trailed away from yours, coming down to your jaw to ultimately reach your neck. You tilted your head to the side, giving him more space to place wet open-mouthed kisses on your skin. His lips nipped and sucked at your skin, leaving faint marks behind. He paused and sat up, pulling his shirt off. You stared at his toned body, completely awestruck by the sight. Sunghoon chuckled at your reaction, tossing his shirt aside before tugging yours off as well. He flicked the dainty bow on your bra, reaching behind you to unhook the material. You frantically pulled it off, discarding it with the rest of your clothes. Sunghoon leaned down and ran his tongue over your nipple, squeezing your other breast. He sucked until the nub hardened, moving to give the other one the same attention. Your fingers threaded into his silky hair, back arching as his kisses began trailing down your body. Sunghoon reached the waistline of your pants, looking up at you through his lashes for permission to take them off. Your chest rose and fell as he stripped you clean. Sunghoon's hands ran over your legs as he stood back to take in the sight of your naked body. "Fuck, you're hot," he muttered under his breath, spreading your legs apart. His fingers ghosted over your pussy, eyes coming back to yours one last time before he settled in between your legs. He held your thighs, licking a stripe up your folds. A pleasant warmth radiated through your body. His tongue circled over your clit, lips delivering a light suck to the sensitive bundle of nerves. You wondered how many times Sunghoon had done this before to be so good at it. You could easily say that no one had ever made you feel the way he was right now. His tongue was doing wonders to your pussy.

Sunghoon held your hips down, keeping them from rising into his face. He pulled your core closer to his mouth, ravaging in the taste of you. You moaned ecstatically, loving the way he ate you out. Before you could warn him of the budding knot that was beginning to form in your stomach, Sunghoon sat up, wiping your wetness off his chin. "You've gotta return the favour," he said, pushing his pants down. His member slapped up against his abdomen, making you drool. Sunghoon sat down next to you. "Show me what you've got."

You got on your knees, bending down to lick his tip. Sunghoon bit his lip, watching keenly as you gripped his cock with both your hands and guided his member past your lips. Hollowing your cheeks, you clamped your lips around him and began bobbing your head up and down while jerking off whatever amount of him wasn't fitting in your mouth. Sunghoon didn't interfere, keeping his hands at his sides as shallow breaths left his parted lips. "God, you're doing so well," he praised, hooded eyes struggling to stay open. He didn't let you suck him off for too long, wanting to get to the best part quicker.

You released his cock with a pop, moving up to straddle his lap. Sunghoon angled his tip at your entrance, holding your waist in place before sinking you down on his cock. A long moan drew out from you. Hands on his shoulders, you leaned forward and let him fuck into you from below. He went slow at first, wanting to feel the way your warm walls hugged his cock. His breath was hot on your ear, hand squeezing the skin of your ass as he started speeding up.

Moans poured out of your mouth endlessly. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room. Sunghoon seethed, rutting his hips into you at a fast pace. "Hmm, you like that," he asked, not giving you a chance to answer? You could barely form coherent words, so consumed with the pleasure he was giving you. It didn't take long for the knot in your stomach to form again. Sunghoon felt the way your walls clenched around his cock weakly. Knowing you were close, he flipped you around on your back, slamming his hips into you after raising your knee to your chest. His tip brushed over your sweet spot, making you cry in ecstasy. Sunghoon brought his thumb to your clit, pushing you closer and closer to your high.

Finally, your walls clenched tightly around his cock. Arousal gushed down your walls as your orgasm crashed down on you. Your back arched off the bed, a string of curses along with calls of Sunghoon's name left your lips like a chant. Sunghoon didn't lose his pace, continuing to fuck you just as fast and just as hard as he was before. He gritted his teeth, feeling extremely close to his own high. It didn't take long for you to feel his cock twitch inside you. Sunghoon was quick to pull out of you and pump his cock above your stomach, wanting to empty his seed on your skin.

You watched closely as his cum spurt out onto you, thick white ropes dripping against your body. You hummed and wrapped your finger around his cock, dragging him through his high. Sunghoon sighed in satisfaction, plopping down next to you after he was done. He looked exhausted, a thin sheen of sweat lining his brow.

"We should do this again sometime," you suggested, smiling merrily. Sunghoon returned your smile and nodded. "Sure, after you pass your test that is."

- ♡ -

#sunghoon smut #enhypen smut #sunghoon imagines #enhypen imagines #sunghoon scenarios #enhypen scenarios #sunghoon x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen sunghoon #kpop smut

807 notes · View notes

angelssung · 3 years

Text

from the future, love

summary: you meet your future child, but who is the father that your kid speaks of?

genre: adventure, romance, fluff

pairing: skz member x female!reader

a/n: for this fanfic, it's a little different - the love interest is a complete mystery, until the end of the fic. also, for the sake of the fanfic, nct here isn't a kpop group! they're a friendship group, some are in uni, some are in high school :)

You sighed happily, sitting down on a picnic blanket with your best friends. All four of you attending the same university, but having different majors and jobs, you guys were still able to make time for each other.

"These sandwiches are so damn good," One of your friends, Jaehyun, was currently admiring the sandwich your other friend Cindy made, who was fixing her handmade frog themed beret.

Jaehyun's girlfriend, and your friend before Jaehyun, Tara rolled her eyes, "That's because Cindy made it from your recipe."

"Exactly." Jaehyun chuckled, as you took another sandwich and finished it quickly. Jaehyun was telling the truth, even if you didn't like sandwiches much, his recipe made them delicious.

Suddenly, a small blue circle in the air started to enlarge, the light so blinding you had to cover your eyes. Almost as if it was a... portal?

"What the heck is going on?!" You all panicked, yelling in surprise and fear.

The light had abruptly disappeared, further serving to confuse you. In the place of the portal-like object, revealed a 5 year old boy who looked entirely lost. He had big, dark eyes, a small tooth gap in between his two front teeth, and hair a similar colour to yours. Wearing a giant hoodie featuring your favour colour, you would've asked him where he got it from... had he didn't look on the verge of crying.

All four of you ran to the little boy upon realising his parents weren't around - where were they, anyways?

"Hey little bud," You spoke up, "Are you lost?" Insert a nod from him.

"Do you know where your parents are?" Insert a head shake.

"Ah, okay," Nodding as a response, you looked around, "We'll go around the nearby buildings to see if we can help you find your parents, yeah?"

About 2 hours later, the five of you were at the police office. You tried searching for the child's parents, to no avail.

"The boy doesn't even remember his parent's names, or his own." Jaehyun frowned, evidently frustrated and worried for the child.

The chief sighed in disappointment, "Unfortunately, we can't identify him for some reason, and he barely has any information. I don't think we even have any staff with enough time to take care of the boy."

It went silent, everyone was in contemplation.

"I can take care of him!" You blurted out quickly, making the chief smile, "Great! If his parents come, we'll make sure to call you." Giving your number so the cops could contact you, silence filled the air again, unless the other cops were taking calls and talking about crimes.

Eventually, the five of you left, heading towards your apartments - conveniently, next to each other's. Your apartment was on the left side of the big stairs, Jaehyun and Tara's opposite yours, with Cindy's apartment right next to theirs.

"Do you think..." Twiddling her fingers, Tara started, "he came from the future?"

Cindy shrugged, "I think so - that portal gave me those vibes."

"I want hot potato." All of the adults, including you, were shocked.

'That's his first word!' You noted mentally, looking back at your friends, "Well, you heard the kiddo. If he wants a hot potato, let's make some for dinner!"

Your friends all nodded in silent agreement. "Let's go to our apartment, Tara and I have lots of potatoes we can bake." Jaehyun suggested, so you all headed to his and Tara's shared apartment.

As soon as you got in, you all took off your shoes, helped the child to take off his shoes, and replaced them with house slippers.

Heading to the kitchen, you rolled up your sleeves, "Alright, I'll start making the hot potatoes while you guys play wi-"

But then you started hearing crying from the boy, making you dash back.

Making hand gestures for you to pick him up, he snuggled closer to you once you picked him up. Once you tried letting go however, walking to the kitchen again, the boy followed you.

You almost cried because of how precious the boy was.

"I think that settles who the potato boy's gonna stay with for the night..." Cindy smiled.

"But the cookin-"

Tara gently pushed you back to the living room, "I'll do that!"

"Can I at least help?" Feeling a bit worried that your friends you burn down the kitchen, you offered.

"Potato boy might get hurt, if he follows you and you're cooking, he might touch some hazards." Cindy chimed in, setting on the sofa.

"Fine..." Picking the boy up, you started dancing with him in your arms. "My papa likes dancing!"

Once Tara started cooking, both Jaehyun and Cindy made puppy eyes at Tara - they wanted potatoes, too.

"You're fucking joking me..." "Language! Baby in the house!" Staring at the lone potato whilst ignoring the warning from Cindy, Tara pulled out four more.

About almost two hours later, everyone was starting to dig into their potatoes. You offered to help the little kid with his, but he politely refused, proceeding to do it himself.

"I love potatoes," Tara hummed, as you snorted, "No wonder why, you look like one!"

Everyone laughed at your comment, receiving a playful smack from Tara.

Looking at the little boy, you noticed he had badges of kpop groups - Stray Kids, EXO and BTS to be specific - on his hoodie.

"Oh! You like kpop?"

"YEAH! Dad's in one!" He grinned, making everyone curious. The kid probably meant a kpop group....

Cindy blinked, "So his dad's a kpop idol, huh?"

"What group is your dad in?" There was no response. The child was asleep, making you all fawn quietly. Silence filled the air, the rest of your four attempted to figure out who his dad was.

Voice cutting through the air like a knife, Jaehyun spoke, "Wait, hold on, so if we give him to the dad, let's ask for money and get rich-" Cut off by Tara smacking him, Jaehyun grinned sheepishly.

Eventually, you all went back to your own houses. After you and the boy took a shower separately, you changed into pyjamas, giving the boy an oversized hoodie of yours to wear.

Tucking the asleep boy, he muttered, "Miss... mimi..."

That reminded you of how you called your own mom 'mimi' as a baby apparently, making you smile softly.

However, one thing came to mind. ...Were you the mom? Or were you just overthinking it? Well, whatever. You'll just leave that to future you to worry about.

"Shopping, lunch, then to the arcade!" Cindy giggled at how enthusiastic you were, the little boy following your moves excitedly.

However, Tara halted, making the rest of you confused.

"We forgot to introduce ourselves to this little buddy!" Clapping, Tara twisted her body to face the boy, "I'm Tara."

"I'm Jaehyun," Said male pursed his lips, leaning in towards Tara, who just pushed him away, "Tara's future husband."

Both you and Cindy snorted, before you looked back to the child you were holding hands with.

You giggled, "They're so gross, right? Anyways, I'm (Y/N)!"

"And I'm Cindy, I like frogs." She showed her frog watch, making the kid beam, "Oh oh! You have the same name as my auntie Cindy! She's funny... and she likes frogs like me."

Cindy looked like the pikachu meme, before looking towards you and Tara curiously.

Tara looked back at her, then towards you, and so on. Could it be... you, or Cindy was the kid's mom?

"I am... I dunno! Mimi just calls me love!" The child giggled.

The mimi thing once again - that strengthened your suspicions of you being his mother.

Eventually, you five went to the park, sitting down in front of the river with an ice cream each in hand. The sun was setting with barely any clouds in the sky, making the scenery more beautiful than it was earlier.

"Today's been so fun!" You sighed, happily watching 'Love' eat his ice cream messily.

However, that came to a halt, as a suspicious lady with a hat and glasses tried to snatch Love away from you four.

"Hey!" Jaehyun ran immediately, the three of you following.

"Let go of him!" Cindy managed to snatch the kid back, however, the stranger fell, as she pulled with all her might.

Tara caught the lady's glasses and hat, but you all looked at the kid.

"Mimi! Mimi! You're back!" Love giggled, jumping onto his mother and embracing her.

It was you.

IT WAS YOU??

FUTURE YOU???

The future you was clearly older, more mature looking than you. But she was still young looking, taller and wore a pink dress. Her hair was like yours, but slightly shorter.

You screamed, "I have a son?!" at the same time your friends screamed, "You have a son?!".

So you were right.

Everyone sat down on the grass, trying to let the current events sink it.

Tara, giving back the future you the items she (or rather, you) dropped, tilted her head, "What's happened between our now and... your now?"

"We all ran into lots of problems - but we were able to get through and continue to be close friends." Future you fondly smiled, but you could obviously a lot occurred.

Cindy blinked, looking to the floor as she questioned, "Curious, Who did we all end up with?" At this, Jaehyun snaked his arm around Tara's waist, but no one really noticed, even Jaehyun himself.

Future you thought for a bit, before laughing, "Cin! You married a prince who'll join your art major, but you didn't know until you met his parents. You got so mad that he didn't tell you, he ended up flying us in to convince you to get out of your room and let him apologise."

"And don't worry Jae - you two get married, you only invited a small number of people, but it was still crazy and fun." Future you burst out laughing, "Ten and Kun got so drunk that they were dancing on one of the tables, Chan and Jisung, our Jisung, not Chan's Jisung, had to pull them off but ended up getting cuddled!" Chan's Jisung? Like, Chan from Stray Kids?

You only knew Stray Kids properly, as one of your high school classmates was a member of that group. Maybe the husband was him...? You shook your head in embarrassment.

"As for you, well, us... we end up with a guy. Our husband had a dream of an olive, he begged us to name our son Oliver while we were in labour, but we call him love way more! Our husband's just as chaotic as all of us." Future you shook her head, giggling.

"What is labour, mimi?" Oliver tapped future you's arm.

"That's the story of when you were born." She smiled warmly at him, wiping his ice cream marks.

"And we got married to-" Nothing came out, but when she tried to continue saying the name of your husband, her mouth closed. It was as if a force was blocking her from doing that. Weird.

Sighing, future you tried to reiterate her words so she wouldn't get censored, "It's someone you know very well, but some advice to give you? Never give up, and be honest about how you feel. If it worked for me, it'll work for you cause we're cool like that." She flipped her hair, before you both laughed, hitting each other's legs at the same time.

Pulling out two pictures from her wallet, the rest of you recognised Oliver, and another girl - a baby, who kind of resembled an angry hamster with her chubby, yet adorable, cheeks.

"Oliver and Rina - Rina's 6 months old, so they have a 4 year difference. She's more bossier than Oliver here." Everyone looked to Oliver, who was oblivious, with adoration.

Suddenly, her phone rang. "Hello? Yup, he's here. No! I'm not that much of a dumbass, you're one too." Rolling her eyes, she looked done. "Alright, will do. Oh, okay, szechuan sauce too! Love you hun. No you, wait, ew, that was cheesy. Go away." Quickly hanging up, future you stood up, carrying Oliver in her arms.

Cindy frowned, not wanting future you to leave yet, "You have to go?"

"I would tell you more stories, but my time here's also quite short. Group hug?" Without any further question, Jaehyun, Tara, Cindy and you gave her and Oliver a hug.

"Say bye to our friends!" "Bye Jayun, bye Taa, bye Dee, bye young mimi!" He gave you a cheek kiss, making you giggle. Although he came from the future, and you hadn't experienced having him, you still felt... proud.

As a portal opened, future you calmly walked into it while waving to your group.

"That was... nice. To say the least." Jaehyun laughed, still finding it hard to process what had just occurred, "Sounds like we had lots of fu-"

"Yo, shooting stars!" Cutting Jaehyun off, cindy pointed to the sky, making you all amazed.

Tara pulled out her phone to record, the four of you all sitting back down and watching the beautiful night sky.

However, a phone call disrupted your peaceful time, making you pick it up.

"Hey, (Y/N)! Are you free this Saturday? Cause-" Your crush, Minho, who went to the same high school as you, was interrupted by giggles. You assumed it probably came from the other Stray Kids members. A faint 'Shut up! Otherwise she'll think the date is a joke!' was heard next.

Your eyes widened, future you's advice coming to mind as your heart raced.

'Be honest about how you feel.'

"Min." "Yeah?" "I can hear you." "Ah."

It was awkward for a few seconds, until you managed to muster up courage, looking to the sky and the shooting stars to help.

"Not sure if it was obvious, but I have a crush on you. I'm free on Sat...urday for a date." You shakily breathed, hearing nothing coming from the other end of the line. Quickly, there were cheers in the background of Minho's side, along with cheers from your friends sitting next to you.

"I... I guess I'll see you then, and discuss it with you later."

'Thank you, future me, and thank you, love.'

#skz x you #skz x y/n #skz oneshots #skz fluff #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz x reader #skz #stray kids oneshots #stray kids fluff #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #stray kids x reader #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you

91 notes · View notes

unprofessional-bard · 3 years

Text

Don't Push It, Pt. 1

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Part 2 (1/2)

Based on this request.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Warnings: Age gap (the reader is 26 and Joel is 53), a lot of teasing/sexual tension, implied romantic feelings.

Summary: It's been going on for years. They both know better than to act on their feelings, but patience starts running thin when a few boundaries are crossed.

Word Count: 5.280

Author's Note: Okay y'all so I am a whore for Joel with long hair and I unintentionally made this into a fix-it au where Joel is alive. Also, the reader is going to have some OC characteristics to fit the scenario better. Finally, this fic changes POV's a lot, so I'm gonna clear that up:

• ----R and below: The reader's POV.

• ----J and below: Joel's POV.

• ----B and below: Both POV's.

The fic starts off with Joel's POV.

Enjoy!

gif credits: nikolai-stavrogin

"Hey, Joel," Dina called over to the man sipping coffee on his porch.

"Mornin' Dina," He replied as his daughter's girlfriend walked over to him. Her baby bump had grown a little more and it never failed to put a smile on Joel's face.

"There's a little trouble with the patrol today," She said. "Jesse won't be able to make it to patrol with (Y/N)."

Shit.

"And they're askin' me to fill in?" He sat up a little.

"Yup, Maria told me to ask you if-"

"No problem, sure, I'll do it." He spoke nonchalantly, then asked if Jesse was alright. Dina told him she wasn't sure, that it must be something important for him to miss patrol, which made Joel nod: "You told (Y/N) too, or...?"

"No, but she's gonna be there regardless. I doubt that she knows."

"Alright, thanks Dina," Joel got up and she smiled in return before walking over to Ellie's place.

It was wrong. By the lord it was wrong, but he couldn't help it. You were fierce, confident, determined and disciplined; qualities he came to appreciate in time, but a bit differently only when it came to you. He shouldn't want you, an unknown source in his mind kept telling himself, but he did. He didn't know why, he never found himself being attracted to a woman your age, yet you had him under your spell. Oh the things you did to him...

Worst part was, he couldn't have you, whether he liked it or not. Nevermind the fact that you were too young for him, you probably didn't want him anyways- despite the crystal clear signals he got from you. It was just how you were, though: A little physical and perhaps a little flirty, but he could just be confusing that with your confidence.

Or he could be overthinking everything.

Joel readied his backpack, but realised there was still a little more than an hour before the rendez-vous, so he decided to head over to your place to tell you about the news to kill some time. After he made it there and knocked on your door while calling your name a couple of times, which were left unanswered, your neighbour curiously looked over the fences and called over to Joel: "She left a while ago... For the gym, I think."

"Thank you," Joel smiled politely and earned a wave from the lady in return. He took his time as he walked over to the gym. After he arrived, he looked around for awhile to spot where you were, but when he found it, the sight almost made him choke.

There you were, ankles crossed as you pulled yourself up and chin over the barfix with closed eyes, a frown and a clenched jaw. Sweat laced the sides of your face and Joel's eyes wandered lower: You were wearing a sports bra and matching shorts which hugged your frame tightly and the sun was shining directly onto your muscles, which the lord himself carved out and were also sweaty, but Joel didn't care - it made you look more attractive, if anything. You let out a huff and lowered yourself down, while he tried to collect himself. He didn't want to disturb you so he decided to wait until you finished...

...but you didn't seem to be finishing any time soon. He didn't want to look like a creep as he stood there and waited, so after you did another pull up and let yourself down, he cleared his throat.

----R

"(Y/N), here you are."

Had you not been already hanging, you definitely would've fell when you heard Joel's voice reach your ears. You opened your eyes to see him slowly approach you, his stupid thumb stuck in behind his stupid belt.

You hated it: You hated finding this man attractive and you hated your guts for occasionally flirting with him - him, who probably would never look at you the way you looked at him. He liked you, of course, he enjoyed your company but not the way you wanted him to. You hated that you had a crush on this man, who became even more gorgeous as he let his hair grow over the last few years, you also hated how he neatly parted it to the left.

Patrol with him was both a treat and a curse at the same time. You got to spend time with him, which made it a treat, but when you watched him- saw him in action, how aggressive he was, heat started to pool between your thighs. He was so rough and precise as he was smart; he always knew what to do under any circumstance, so you almost never worried when you went out with him. He made you feel safe, praised you and played with your heart when he responded to your flirting and nothing came out of it.

You hated it because your little "crush" on him was pathetic, for someone as confident as you. Sure, you teased and flirted with him, but one praise as simple as you did well today and you'd be melting on spot. You even tried to get with other people to distract yourself, to no avail. They weren't Joel.

None of them could ever be Joel.

"Good morning!" You said with a high pitched voice, reflecting your struggle to keep yourself up.

"To you too," He chuckled at your state and watched as you pulled yourself up slowly. "Hey, listen. Jesse ain't gonna make it to patrol today so I'm fillin' in for him."

----B

The way you faltered a little didn't escape him: "Why? Is he okay?"

"I dunno, but I'm sure he is. Something important must've come up," Joel informed you, not wanting to worry you as you seemed to care about him. A lot. Ugh.

"Tsk," You breathed out and closed your eyes to focus on keeping your head above the metal bar.

Joel then spoke again: "Yeah, I was just here to let ya know."

"Okay, well-" You exhaled audibly and suddenly let yourself go. The force of the action sent you flying a little and it almost made you bump into him: "Woah, oh, sorry-"

"Woah there," You both chuckled at the same time. Joel held you by your elbows to help you balance yourself and your heart rate picked up pace when you realised how close your face was to his chest a moment ago - the chest you wanted to get your hands on: How muscular was he? How many scars did he have there? How would it feel to run your fingers through the hair as you ro-

"Uhm, yeah, as I was saying," You snapped yourself back to reality and took a small step back, disappointed by the way his fingers let go of your arms: "I'm done here, just need to do a couple of stretches, then head back and take shower."

"Right. Well, I'll see you at the gate, then?"

"Uh, sure, yeah."

You didn't know what else to say other than stay. You wanted him near you and around you, you wanted to show off to him and you wanted his attention, so you had to think quick.

Joel didn't want to leave either, even though you were going to spend the whole day together. He still nodded and turned around to leave. It was then, when a brilliant idea crossed your mind: "Actually, Joel?" He turned around, gave you a soft look that made you want to run up to him and kiss all over his face. "Could you help me with my stretches?"

If he'd been drinking or eating anything, he most definitely would've choked: "Help you?"

"Yeah," You flashed a smile at him. "It's simple, you just gotta press me down and keep me in place." The widening of his eyes, puzzled face and his tense posture made you shy. "Eh- Normally, Jesse helped me with them."

True. Some stretches required someone to push your body to its limits - when you worked out alone, you stuck to simpler stretches, but right now, you needed a reason to have him by your side.

Joel was torn between leaving, like a responsible person who knew when to walk away would. He was responsible, yes, but his moral compass was thrown out of the window whenever you joined the picture. So far, he wanted to think he was handling his emotions well- by not acting on them and not talking about them.

Now, however, it was as if he was facing the last straw. He had a few boundaries left to cross, and this was one of them.

"Plus, I'm a bit tired to do them. Will you help me?"

Lies. All lies.

You'd been doing these stretches for long enough, even though you'd worked hard, you weren't tired at all. Joel thought this to be the case, so he tried to go around it: "You sure? I mean, how're you tired?"

"I've been training like hell this morning," You settled on the mat. "I don't wanna do these stretches, but I have to. I'm not in the mood to pull a muscle today."

That was good enough for him really: "'Kay," He sighed. "What do you need me to do?"

Your eyes glowed in excitement before you faced forward and explained: "Im gonna lean forward, like this-" You extended your legs forward and lowered yourself down. "All you gotta do is press on my back and stop me from moving away for a few seconds."

A few seconds which felt like five minutes, truth be told.

As soon as he touched your bare back, you sighed, then forced it into a hiss. He immediately retreated his hands, thinking he hurt you, pushing the ludicrous idea that you might have moaned away immediately.

His hands were big and a little cold comparing to your skin which was on fire after the workout, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't do that on purpose. You straightened up and looked at him with an innocent smile: "Your hands are cold."

Not cold enough to make you react like that, obviously.

Joel offered an awkward chuckle from the back of his throat: "You're gonna have to deal with it, missy."

And deal with it you did- barely. Christ, that was a bad idea, your worst one yet. To have his hands on your bare skin, pressing you down made your cheeks burn and mouth hang open as he kept you in place. You almost didn't hear him when he spoke, too busy trying to comprehend the size of his hands and how they'd feel around your throa-

"How many of these do you gotta do?"

"Uh, dunno," You blurted out. "Not too many."

Joel was partly glad, it felt so wrong yet it was just a simple act of help you could've asked from anyone. After 20 seconds of staying like that, you straightened. You went into a head-to-knee position and gave him an okay to press you down again.

You switched to the other leg after half a minute, but you were running out of ideas. There weren't any positions left that you could use his help with, so you played one last card to ruin him: "More."

"W-What?"

Good riddance.

"Press a little harder," You pretended to focus and tried your best not to smirk, knowing you had him where you wanted.

"Oh- hm," He cleared his throat and pressed a little more down on your back. If your plan hadn't backfired and made you almost moan through your teeth, everything was going accordingly.

Joel went to pull back, but stopped when you added: "It's been a while since I did these..."

Christ.

"That enough?" He slowly retreated his hands and stood up, watching you lean up where you sat.

"Yup, that'll be it," You smiled and blinked a couple of times. If Joel had known better, he would've thought you were making him do that, then being all cute on purpose-

It was going to be a long day.

----R

Patrol with the older Miller went as normally as it always was. Part one usually went like this: Meet up at the gate, get your rifles and horses, ride out, reach checkpoint one and sign your names. The road to checkpoint one didn't have any trouble, it usually never did. It was more quiet between you two than usual though. Had you gone too far?

"So, uh," You said once the two of you mounted your horses again. "You coming to the dance tonight?"

"What?" He snapped his head in your direction, looking clueless. "What dance?"

"Well, not a dance exactly but- you know what I mean?" You started riding. "The adults only event?"

He looked really distracted, a bit tense even: "Oh, right. You know those ain't my thing."

"I know," You nodded with a soft smile. "But I haven't seen you in any event ever since you decked Seth."

"Decked?" Joel chuckled bitterly at the memory.

"He deserved it, and more, that prick," You rolled your eyes, making him chortle.

"And nobody managed to shut up about it for the whole month," He sighed with a gorgeous yet tired smile on his face which you managed to see just in time. "So, no thanks. I'll pass."

"Aw, come on," You whined. "You can't avoid coming to these events forever. Please?"

He gave you a confused look, his smile slowly disappearing but not in a bad way: "Why?"

A good question. Oh, no reason, just wanna try and make a move on you, quite possibly jump your bones if it all goes well.

"I wanna make sure you haven't lost your ability to socialise." You offered.

"Really? Why, you're my momma now?"

"Ew, no," You both laughed. "Can't I be sure my friend is alive and well occasionally?"

----J

Friend.

A word that made Joel stop and think.

You saw him as a friend, huh? Two people, with clear sexual tension and an obvious age gap between them- Friends was an awkward description for him, but it was better than nothing.

He opened his mouth to reply, to insist that he was indeed alive and well, but you stopped him: "You know what I mean."

The conversation was making him a little distracted, he noticed, so he decided to keep his mouth shut until you reached checkpoint two. You didn't press him on, which was also a delight. That's another thing he liked about you: You knew your bounds- in patrol anyways. Or maybe it was because you got to know him well over the time, knew what he liked or not.

Part two went quieter too- infected and conversation wise. Not even a single runner was on sight as you swept through the small cabins and houses. Except for the occasional clear's and nothing here's, you didn't say anything else. Joel itched to talk to you, about anything to break the silence, but he was too lost in thought.

When you finally made it back to Jackson, you finally spoke up: "So? You coming?" He chuckled, mostly out of relief, then you added: "I found a new outfit, I wanna know what you think."

That caught Joel's attention. With a curious smile, after handing over your horses, he asked: "What outfit?"

"You'll see... If you come." You smirked, your close proximity making Joel's heart race.

"Don't get your hopes up," He sighed with a small grin and tucked his thumb behind his belt, the other one gripping the strap of his rifle.

"You're the worst," You punched his shoulder with mock upset, making him chortle and stumble a little to the right. "Anyways, I'll see you tomorrow then."

Joel remained quiet, then you walked away with a soft smile gracing your lips. The words sunk deeper than he would've liked, a sudden wave of guilt soaking his guts with regret, even though you didn't sound disappointed or upset. Lips pursed, he watched you hand your rifle to Peter and sign off, then leave; his steps coming to a halt as you did.

He just might check out what was up at the dance tonight, if he could successfully move himself out of his comfort zone in the following few hours.

----R

"Well well, look who it is," Tommy grinned when you approached the doors of the pub. The night had settled across the sky by the time you stepped outside your place. The sound of music and chatter of the people from inside filled your ears.

"Yours truly," You smirked. "It's crowded in there huh?"

"It sure is," Tommy said as he turned around to lead you inside. "Adults only events tend to attract more people, as y'can guess. Don't you look pretty today."

"Why thank you." You smiled playfully: "For no one, but myself, at that."

You lied through your teeth. You had dressed up in the silly hope that Joel would actually show up. You had been planning on it ever since you came across the item wrapped around your hips in an abandoned clothes shop a few weeks ago, and this event was the perfect excuse for you to wear it. For him.

"I ain't sayin' nothing!" Tommy raised his hands up in defense. "Figured that much, haven't seen anyone catch your interest in a long time."

Ha. Nice.

The atmosphere was lively and the air was warm, full of energy. Chatter and dancing went about the packs of people scattered across the space, but you couldn't see Joel, much to your disappointment - you weren't surprised though. What surprised you was Jesse suddenly showing up.

"Where's Ellie and Dina?" You asked after a while of teasing him about missing patrol.

"They decided to stay behind, I guess." He shrugged.

"What can I get y'all?" Tommy smiled, suddenly appearing behind the counter. Without waiting for an answer, he filled two glasses and pushed them towards you. You and Jesse looked at each other for a brief moment, before knocking it back at one go. "Woah there..."

A round of laughter later, you felt someone's presence behind you, then they tapped you on the shoulder: "Hey, (Y/N)!"

Much to your disappointment, once more, it was a boy named Mark. He was a year older than you, had no features whatsoever matching Joel's prettier ones and he took an obvious liking to you, which in truth you didn't appreciate, even though he wasn't weird about it or anything. You faked a smile and turned to him a little: "Hi."

"Good to see you," Sure. "How, uh, how are you?"

"Busy, actually," You pointed at the glass Tommy was refilling for you.

"Mind if I join?" He made himself comfortable on the stool next to you.

"Yeah. I do." Your smile never faded but your words were laced with poison.

He looked between you, Tommy and Jesse, mortified at your answer: "W- Heh, well, would you wanna dance later, then-?"

"No, I don't." You spoke calmly and turned to face Jesse again, only for him to move to tap you on the shoulder, which Tommy stopped from happening.

"Why don't you go home, huh?" He grabbed his wrist firmly, but not hard enough to leave a bruise of course. "The lack of oxygen in your brain's clearly stoppin' you from understandin' a word as simple as no."

You looked over at the younger Miller, a stern look on his face which seemed to make Mark piss himself. Suddenly, an even deeper voice was heard behind the boy: "I advise you to listen to him, son."

You turned completely in your seat to see Joel grabbing Mark by the shoulders, making him jump, then remove him from the seat carefully. Mark's legs were quick to oblige, making him walk towards the exit, but Joel held him in place: "A-ah, what do you say to the lady?"

"I'm s-sorry, (Y/N)," He nodded quickly. "I'll never disturb you again, I promise."

"Good boy," Joel patted him on the back, which sent him running to the door. Your cheeks were suddenly burning and you couldn't help but smile shyly.

"Tsk, what a jackass," Tommy nodded disapprovingly as Joel took the now empty space next to you.

"You decided to show then, huh?" You smirked at Joel.

"Yeah, figured you'd break someone's wrists and make 'em eat it," He chuckled, tipping his head at his brother in a greeting -God he looked so handsome, was that a new shirt?- before he continued: "Decided it'd be a shame to miss it."

You giggled and lightly pushed at his arm, almost immediately feeling the muscles underneath the rolled up sleeve of his blue shirt: "I'll take that as a I came because you asked and I listened for once." The exchange, obviously, didn't go unnoticed by his brother and Jesse, which made you sit upright suddenly: "Tommy was the one who was gonna break his wrist anyways..."

"Nobody gets to disturb anyone here, especially right in front of me," He said and slid a glass to his brother.

Jesse joined in: "I doubt it, but should he ever-"

"Aw, you guys are spoiling me," You grinned and waved your hand down, pressing the other onto your chest.

----J

You looked beautiful. You were wearing a plain, dark green, mid-thigh, flare skirt; which could pass as a miniskirt, but Joel was no fashion expert. You always did come up with the rarest clothing items (like your sports set that morning), so he wasn't surprised that you happened across the skirt. You also had a simple, white, v-neck t-shirt on- which all in all was the reason you left Joel speechless: You could be wearing something as simple as these, but you'd still look so damn pretty.

A few minutes later, after Jesse and Tommy disappeared in different directions and you were finally left alone, Joel spoke up: "Is this the-"

"What made you-" You gave each other a brief look before chuckling: "You go first."

"Ah, I was gonna ask if this was the outfit you wanted me to see," He said, briefly looking down to point at your skirt.

He watched you run a hand through your hair and bite your bottom lip before answering: "Yeah..." You got up and stuffed your hands in your pockets, which made Joel's heart sizzle. "What do you think?"

He gave you a genuine smile: "I think you look beautiful."

The shock on your face made Joel panick a little, but when you offered a shy little smile, he relaxed: "You- Really?"

He gave you a single, slow nod in acknowledgement, his smile grew bigger when you beamed at him and offered him a quiet thank you, then sat back. You were staring hard at your glass, clearly avoiding his gaze and he found it rather cute, but didn't comment on it.

He was looking forward to chat with you, after all, you were the reason why he showed up, but you were unfortunately dragged away by a couple of friends, Jesse included...

To dance.

An upbeat song he didn't recognise started playing, putting you and another boy, Mick, to action. Everyone backed away to give you two space, then started off with what seemed to be something you'd been practicing for a while. You mirrored each other's moves, it was similar to some folk dance he'd watched way before the outbreak, but it most definitely wasn't a folk dance. Your arms linked occasionally, hands on your hips as you crossed each other's legs with fast movements and other types of moves Joel couldn't name if he tried, but it was organised and fun to watch. It wasn't intimate, too, just a silly little dance as you called it minutes later when you finished and walked to the bar for a drink. You didn't stay long, though, just downed your drink, winked at him and went back to the stage where you and Mick (but mostly you) stole the show.

It went on for two more rounds, to the point your t-shirts were absolutely soaked and your legs couldn't take it anymore. Joel had a particularly hard time in his seat, watching your skirt float around your thighs made him feel embarrassed with himself. Tommy even went as far as to tease him about his constant squirming, but a glare from his older brother was enough to shut him up.

The last dance finished off with you in Mick's arms, leaning back in his hold and closing your eyes with laughter. Everyone clapped you both, which earned you a kiss on the cheek from Mick- which you returned. Joel's jaw clenched unintentionally, even though you and him didn't appear to be more than friends.

Stop. Stop it, you idiot.

He couldn't care less about these types of things, drama about who's dating who and whatnot, but when it came to you he naturally grew curious.

He watched you, eyelids struggling to keep themselves open as Jesse led you and helped you onto the stool, next to Joel once more. You huffed and giggled, eyes closed with sweat droplets on your forehead. He couldn't help it when his smile grew wider at your tipsy state.

What he didn't see coming was the sudden hand on his thigh and your back against his arm, letting your head drop onto his shoulder as you let out a brief laugh: "Never let me dance and drink at the same time again."

Joel didn't know what to say, he quickly looked around for Jesse only to find him already gone and a couple of people staring at the both of you. With a rush of panic, he responded: "I don't think I'm the one you should say that to, darlin'."

Your hand and the rest of your body immediately retreated when you jumped at his voice: "Joel?!" You looked a little embarrassed and he couldn't help but smirk. "Uh, where's Jesse?"

The question almost made him scrunch up his face, but he patiently waited until the end of the conversation, which was after you've walked away to find the boy in question and he was alone with his own thoughts... Jealousies...

"He dropped you off and went over there, I think." Joel nodded to the direction he thought Jesse went off to - he didn't see though, he was too busy focusing on you when your fingertips had brushed somewhere dangerously near his crotch.

"Huh," You stared around to find him, but Joel figured you were too intoxicated to actually see that far. "You need to stop wearing the same clothes."

He raised a brow at that: "You tell him that."

"Oh I will," You grinned mischievously and suddenly grabbed Joel's glass of whiskey from his hand, then downed it at one go before he could intervene.

"Hey!" He tried to grab the glass from you but you leaned back. "I think you've had enough for the night."

"Says who-?" You pouted and at the very same time, lost your balance, realising that you leaned a little too back. However, Joel caught you; one hand on your arm, the other on your waist and he pulled you back - he didn't know if you did it purposefully, but you practically fell into his body: "Oh! I'm sorry-" You laughed, not looking sorry at all. "Thanks, Joel," You purred, extending the 's' and the 'l' at the end of each word as you grabbed onto his biceps. "You saved me."

"Pfft," Joel couldn't help but let his hand linger on your waist as he made sure you stood in place. Your eyes met when you lifted your head from his chest - the meaning behind his hazel gaze and your own was similar and it lasted for what felt like a whole minute, while in reality it was no longer than a few seconds.

You finally let his arms go and he took it as his cue to remove his hand from your waist (which, for a moment, felt like it had been glued there): "So... You enjoying yourself, old man?"

Joel sighed through his nose, amused at how the alcohol in your system was slowing your speech, then went back to how he had been sitting before you came. Just when you asked, the smooth, familiar tune of Ain't No Sunshine started playing. After all the excitement, a slower music felt nice: "Sure. You?"

"Oh I sure am," You nodded and leaned back against the counter with something of a triumphant smile.

"I can tell," Joel replied, then without turning his head, side eyed you. His stare later on moved down to your skirt. "Why'd you get all dressed up for, really?"

"Huh?" You blinked, not processing if he was asking what you thought he was.

"I, uh- just never took you for the skirt type."

"Is that so?" You asked, eyes widening. "Well, just trying on a new outfit..." You looked down and bit your lower lip, making Joel's heart skip a beat. He mentally kicked himself for not leaving right then and there and continuing to talk to you: "There's actually another reason."

"Hm?"

"There's this guy," You turned towards him, placed your arm paralleled across his on the counter and leaned forward a little, pretending to look around. His fingertips scratched against the wooden surface of the counter at the mention of this guy in question. "I don't know his name, but maybe you do?"

He just raised a brow when you looked at him innocently: "He's a bit old, around this tall," Your hand went back and forth in the air as you tried to size the man's height in your mind. "Has pretty, long, graying hair with an also graying beard... A little scar on his nose," You looked at him and leaned in a little more, invading his personal space but not touching him, then pointed at the exact spot on your nose and it was then, Joel realised, that you were indeed describing himself. "He's wearing this blue shirt and, honestly, it would look better on him if he opened another button or two."

I know, I know

Hey I oughta leave young thing alone

But ain't no sunshine when she's gone

He wanted to counter, tease you back, lean down and taste your lips, then place a kiss or two on your neck and bite it softly just to hear you moan quietly into his ear- he also needed to get his shit together, as much as he wanted to do all of that.

He couldn't quite believe his self control when he leaned away from you, especially since the tip of your noses almost touched and he felt your hot breath on his lips. He cleared his throat and quickly looked around to see if anyone was looking- no one had seen the rather intimate interaction so he spoke: "I don't know who that is."

The disappointment on your features was like a knife twisting up in his guts. You blinked a couple of times, but didn't lean back: "S- Sure you do..."

"I don't," Joel insisted, his voice stern. "Maybe you should look for someone else."

Your disappointment turned into embarrassment and anger, making you frown and lean back: "Excuse me."

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

And this house just ain't no home

Anytime she goes away

And with that, you got up and stormed away, leaving Joel wanting, aching and ashamed.

Anytime she goes away

495 notes · View notes

sooniesspot · 3 years

Text

Coming Down | myg

Okay, so here's the second installment of my BADLANDS Series. This is loosely based around Coming Down by Halsey. I realise I haven't really done them in a specific order, just the one I am pulled to next to write.

Warnings: Dom!Yoongi, Sub!Reader, mentions of slight work stress and societal pressures of being a woman, you know. All that good stuff.

Reader is a F E M I N I S T and proudly so. Loose mention of not wanting kids (which is fine btw) this is just a whole load of smut, not much fluff as it's FWB but.

Okay so, oral, f & m receiving, face fucking, fingering, multiple orgasms, rough sex, light spanking, choking (for like a milisecond) use of ties, slight sensory deprivation, slight body worship, overstimulation. Slight name-calling?? Yoongs says kitten ironically. Use of safe word/safe signal. Yoongles has a Sir Kink. (I can only apologise) Reader has a hand kink (obvs) just wants to get off and relieve stress, Yoongi is happy to be their relief.

word count: 9.8k 👀🐸☕ don't @ me

'I found God, I found him in a lover'

It was a normal Thursday evening, you'd finished work at 6pm on the dot and took the bus home. Fishing for your keys as you approached the front door of your apartment. Key in the lock, turn. Open. Silence. Walking into your hallway, slippers not quite on the rack by the front door as you rushed out of them into your heels this morning. Just where you left them. Sliding off your heels with a sigh as you trudged into your slippers, immediately comforted by the soft memory foam that supported your tiresome toes. Returning your heels to the rack. Shrugging off your bag and long coat, reaching nearly 2 feet above you on your tiptoes to hang your bag and coat on the coat rack. Muttering to yourself like you did every day. 'Coat and bag, then heels. Won't have to stretch so much.' Venturing into the living room. Magazine on the coffee table infront of the sofa where you had left it last night.

Empty. Not that you expected anyone to be home. No one making you dinner you didn't want, or taking up the whole sofa, or hogging the remote. You lived alone, and you liked it. Sure, for a pretty young girl in her mid twenties you often had looks and questions.

'When are you going to find the one?'

'When will you settle down and have a family?'

And truth be told, you didn't want to settle down. You had told your mother from a young age that you didn't want children, whether that would change over time or not you weren't sure. It hadn't changed. You still wanted your independence and that was okay. Women were not put on this earth just to bear children and you were the firmest believer in that. You liked your life just the way it was. A job you loved that you worked hard for, an apartment you were proud of and nearly every night you got to sleep in your own bed, alone, no one to whine at when they snored or your body being used as a warmer for their cold feet. The few nights you were away from your bed came from your once in a while rendezvous with an acquaintance of yours. Although you knew eachother more than mere acquaintances should.

You met at a bar some time ago. Lights flashed, sure to give you a migraine and music so loud your eardrums could burst at any given moment. You were dragged out to this stingy bar by your bestfriend in her attempt to finally get noticed by that one guy. Even in her twenties she was still as smitten as when you were both back at school. You wore a simple black dress with a low cut front, skirt just above the knee and plain black heels. Hair not much different to your everyday, maybe a few waves here and there and some more mascara than your normal work volume. Trying your best to blend in but still having the ornate ability to have eyes on you in any setting.

You spent a lot of time on the dance floor until your friend had found her prey and you circled around the bar. Much rather wanting to stay at home with a tub of ice cream and your cat watching some terrible reality show about Cabin Crew on a cruise ship. Shouting at the TV to throw the nasty woman overboard; waving your spoon at the screen as your cat looked on in understanding almost. But here you were, slumped against a sticky varnished oak bar, propped up on an old velvet stool, twisting your straw in your glass, nonchalantly spinning the steadily melting ice as you listened to your friend talking to her guy. Suddenly feeling a hot hand against your lower back and someone lean over the bar between you and your otherwise occupied friend. Looking up at a pale man to your left.

" Whiskey on the rocks. " came his order to the bar tender; sharp, leaving no room for anything blasé.

Catching his eye, he looked you over once with a subtle bite of his lip and the flick of his tongue at the seam of his mouth; eyebrow raised with a lingering smirk before he vanished into the sea of people again with his drink.

Dumbfounded, you sat there, staring at the now empty spot where he had been mere seconds ago, the now cool expanse of your lower back where his large hand once was, fizzing. Swinging round on your stool, propping your elbow on the bar behind you, your eyes scanned the room. It wasn't the biggest bar. It wouldn't take long to find him.

Soon you caught eyes with him across the dance floor, stood with his taller, tanned friends as he held the whiskey glass firm in his hand; talking amongst themselves. Dark Brown, almost black hair feathered across his forehead, just above his twinkling chocolate eyes. Thin upper lip pressing to his plumper bottom lip before perfect white teeth graced your vision in an endearing gummy smile. Eyes still not catching you between the bodies of people dancing. Several silver hoop earrings in each ear. He wore a long black sweatshirt, black ripped jeans and boots. A couple of silver rings adorned his strong fingers.

You took a sip of your drink, gaze intermittently fluttering in his direction as you scanned the room, your friend had left to go and dance. Eyes found her and you nodded, knowing she was fine. As your stare focused back on the man before you he finally looked up, catching your eye with his, dark and mysterious. His lips pulling into a smirk again as he gazed at you. Heat bubbling in your chest from his wandering eyes on your body through the gap in people on the dance floor. He eventually made his way over to you and whispered a few words into your ear. Cool and calm.

" Come back to my hotel. "

And so you did. One slightly drunk, intense one night stand later and here you were, 6 months down the line sleeping with eachother whenever he was in town. A classic Friends With Benefits situation, although you weren't really friends.

You walked into your kitchen, greeting your ginger tabby cat with a kiss as she meowed at you in greeting. Grabbing yourself a glass for water and pouring kibble into her bowl on the floor, your routine monotonous but you didn't mind. Your cat tucking into her dinner as you filled up your glass, taking a sip. Looking at delivery menus on your fridge under old magnets from previous travels, deciding on Chinese; plucking the menu from the fridge, you had a training day for other colleagues at work tomorrow which meant a day off for you. No needing to cook dinner and get an early night tonight. Placing your glass and the menu on the coffee table in the living room, you switched on the tv, chucking any random show on then bumbling along to your room, opening the door. Greeted by quiet and serenity. No dirty pants on the floor or unmade bed. You smiled with contentment, unzipping your dress to pool at your feet before tossing it into your wash basket. You looked at yourself in the mirror, your most dependable black bra and panty set glaring back at you as you fixed your hair into a ponytail and wiped off your makeup. Throwing on a sweatshirt and some leggings. A short while later you plopped yourself down on the sofa and switched on the tv, greeting your cat with a scratch under her chin as she sauntered into the room, hopping up on the sofa with you.

Zoning out to the world around you as a terrible drama played on in the background as you glanced over the menu, not really paying attention to anything in particular. You had been a little stressed over the past couple of weeks, mounting pressures of a new senior in your department threatening to change everything you had sculpted into a balanced working environment over the last 3 years. Societal pressures and backhanded compliments from your mother's 'garden party' friends concerning whether or not you were defective in choosing a man. Or having one choose you. But in reality, the truth is, you had a stable relationship previously, unfortunately he was a dick and you're not stupid. So the single life had been your rather quiet reality for the last 18 months. No one to answer to or to worry about. Just you and your cat.

Your mothers friends never seemed to understand that, always too engrossed in whether or not you had a man on top of you every night to see that their husbands had found other, much younger women to be on top of. All of this filtering through the crack in your hardened shell, filling your mind with alternate realities until you got a text coming through. Cutting through all the fuzz that piqued in your brain. Picking up your phone, you saw who it was. Him.

'I'm in town, come over?'

Your reply was short and sweet.

'Sure, be over in 20.'

Snapping out of your previous thoughts and placing the menu back on the coffee table you sat and pondered for a minute. This was fine. This was what you needed. To let off some steam, in a judgement free setting. No cold glances your way, or harsh words uttered, unless it was you being tied to the headboard again like you had been convinced to try last time with his unadulterated gaze looking down at you writhing underneath him. The thought alone had your hair standing on end and a shiver running through you as you stood from the sofa, heading to your room.

Sifting through your wardrobe to pull on some old trainers, checking yourself in the mirror not really knowing why. In your hallway you made sure the lights in the apartment were off and your cat was happy, tucked up in the corner of the sofa snoozing away. Making sure you had your keys and phone in your bag, you left, key in the lock, turn. Locked. Walking down the hallway and down to the ground floor, heading out of the building to head right. The hotel he always stayed at was only a block or so away so the walk was relatively short. The sun was setting now as it hid behind the skyscrapers that canopied the city. Passers by making their way home or even to work. Still lots of cars on the road and bicycles that weaved in and out of traffic. The breeze was light and cherry blossoms danced in the air, separating from a tree as you passed a nearby park. The air was cool, as it would be in early May. Not too hot. Reminded of your journey, that first night.

'When his hair falls in his face and his hands so cold they shake'

You had left swiftly after his original proposition, making up some story about your cat or an early work meeting or something. Anything to get you out of there and with him. His hand returned to the small of your back as you left the bar, being ushered into an awaiting taxi outside. Shuffling all the way over to the other side, he slid in next to you blurting out the address to the hotel at the driver. Hair falling in his face. Eyes wild as they sparkled from the reflection of the dim streetlights. Smirking at you as the same powerful hand you had grown accustomed to on your back, made a home on your knee, slightly tucked under the skirt of your dress. It was now cold to the touch. Strong and intimidating as the taxi started to drive away. Not being able to take his eyes off you he leant forward and whispered in your ear.

" You look so delicious. " His voice low that reverberated through you, straight to your core as he squeezed your knee. Uttering the last syllable with a kitten lock to the shell of your ear.

To this you bit your lip and shifted uncomfortably in your seat. His hand, in turn sliding further up under your dress to the wider expanse of your thigh. The material of your dress pressing his hand taught against your skin.

He swooped down to your ear again, pressing an open mouthed kiss under your ear before he whispered " can't wait to taste you. "

You keened away from his grasp to no avail. He knew what he was doing to you, breath shallow and flighty in your chest as his teeth tugged at your earlobe.

"Please " You breathed, the first word you uttered to him.

Not really sure what you were pleading him for but the fire in your chest and the dampness of your panties flourished an urgency within you that was incorrigible. He smirked again at this, eyes dancing like Fireflies in the night. The hand that was to his side while the other hid between your thighs came up to cup your cheek, turning your face towards him.

"Soon. " He chuckled before biting your lip.

Drawn back to reality, passing people and cars. Your trainers pulling you towards your destination as your head had an argument with your feet. Was this a good idea? You didn't want to get yourself into a situation where either of you caught feelings. You were a pro at being a cold hearted bitch now but the odd sincere glance your way, especially from him seemed to melt your resolve, even just a little. Recounting the previous times you had taken this walk and what it would lead to.

After your first night with him, it was like a drug. You always wanted more. To say he was good in the bedroom was a complete cop out. He was...He was something. Made you feel things you'd never felt before and noises you'd never in your wildest dreams imagine yourself making. At decibels only a dog could hear. So once the addiction started, you started seeing one another everytime he was in town. Sometimes a couple of times in a week. That went on for a solid 4 months and as work pressures mounted, you fell distant. Always busy catching up with work or having some alone time with your thoughts and your cat. He also got busy, having to travel more for work. You didn't really know much about except it was important and you felt based on the guitar he always packed with him, propped up against the wall in the corner of the room, it was something to do with music.

'I found a devil, I found him in a lover'

The last time you had seen eachother had been a little over 2 weeks ago. That night you'd stayed, which didn't come easily. You were adamant you would leave as soon as you'd cleaned up, even telling him so as he helped you wash in the bathroom, almost requesting a second round when he looked at you through the mirror with those sparkling brown eyes like the devil, but you had been so wound up and pushed to your limits that you felt sleep take you as soon as your body hit the mattress again. Memories of restraints, dark water colours that created the murky palette of his hotel room and the low thumping of your heart, even as you entered the apartment, seeing him there, a tie in hand and a coy smirk. That night he had called you. He never called.

" You busy? " He sounded gruff like he'd just finished working out - which you knew not to be the case.

"When am I ever busy? " You rebuttled with a laugh.

He joined you, then you could hear him grin down the phone. A different sort of grin. A devious one.

"I wanted to try something. "

There was quiet, you wished him to continue silently.

"Something I can't stop thinking about doing to you. " He whispered lowly.

Your ears on fire and furiously red in the face you hung up. Chucking a quick 'omw' text to him in return. That night had been the best sex you'd ever had. That's why you'd stayed. For fear of walking into oncoming traffic at 2am because of your disorientated state.

Your heart skipped a beat at the anticipation of what was to come once you knocked on the door and it sent a thrill through you. Rounding the corner you were met with a bleak grey concrete block of apartments that made up the hotel with a black sign. Crossing the street after looking both ways you jogged up the steps as you saw the door beginning to close after a couple just exited. Sliding in you headed straight for the elevator.

He always had the same hotel room which avoided any confusion. You ran to the elevator that had just opened and pressed the 7th floor. Alone again your mind wandered to your first night here, in this lift.

You'd both stumbled out of the taxi and shuffled over to the lift, he pressed the elevator button furiously as he got impatient; leaning against eachother. As soon as the lift doors were closed he pressed you against the wall, face millimetres from yours as his nose skimmed over yours. Both of your breathing, laboured and slow. His large hands roamed your body; your waist, up and down your thighs. Gripping at the flesh as if he owned it. You wanted him to. God you wanted him to own all of you in that moment. Gaze intense and unwavering as the mysterious glint in his eye grew. His hands slid around the curve of your ass which made you stutter, giving it a harsh squeeze that made you lose your breath.

"I'm gonna ruin you." He whispered devilishly in your ear as he bit the shell.

Pulled out of your reverie as the elevator doors dinged open, signalling you had reached your floor, face burning as you stepped out of the lift, cold fingers pressed to your cheeks to try and cool them. Preparing yourself for what man would greet you at the door. You never knew which one you would get. Sometimes he was ravenous and you never made it to the bed, lipstick smeared and tights ripped as he never had time to waste when he felt such a desperate need for you. Or you would get the cool calm and collected man that caught your eye that night all those months ago. That was, until he got you here. Alone with him.

Walking down the corridor to his room now, counting the doors as they seemed to go on for miles, dark in wood with numbers etched in gold with golden handles. Your breath starting to slip away from you as you imagined as soon as you opened that door you wouldn't be able to breathe steadily again for a while. Room 93. (Shoutout to Halsey's first EP) There it was. You slowed to a stop, almost nervous to knock. 'Just knock' You muttered to yourself. Rolling your eyes as you fidgeted on the spot, sighing as you raised your hand to knock on the door. Knock. Wait. Silence.

You were waiting for a little while which was unlike any other time. Checking your watch and the door number. You waited a little longer and you were just about to walk away when the door opened slowly. You turned; met with the same dancing brown eyes you caught in yours all those months ago, although slightly sunken, maybe he hadn't been sleeping well? His lean frame propped up against the door. Arms folded over his broader chest. Hair fluffed over his forehead, slightly damp. Pale skin flawless and glowing against the dark background of his hotel room and the darkness of his simple black tee and sweatpants. Silver hoops still adorned his ears and rings still glistened on his beautiful hands. Eyes unwavering as they honed in on you. Smirk playing on his thin lips.

"You're early." He mumbled all knowingly, looking at the rings that adorned his knuckles, as if he were about to connect them with a wall.

You stuttered, heart in your mouth as you gawked at the man. Feeling like a naughty school girl that was about to get a ruler spanked across her a-. You stopped the thought for fear of collapsing in the hallway. His eyes still on you, looking you up and down. You mentally slapped yourself for your attire. Sweatshirt and leggings. Not sexy in the slightest. Anyway. Why did you care? Not like you wanted to impress him, right? After another beat his strong arm pulled you in the room by the collar of your sweatshirt, closing the door swiftly behind you and pinning you up against it.

"Just means I have more time." He whispered against your lips.

Sweeping strands of hair out of your face delicately, tucking his fingers behind your ears. He smiled at you, his gummy smile. You never thought that smile would be directed at you. Let alone in this setting.

'With his lips like tangerines, and his colour-coded speak'

His lips moulded to yours with a sudden urgency. Teeth and tongue caressing your lips with power and want. Heavy breaths exchanged as you dropped your bag; hands trying to find purchase somewhere sturdy and stable. Deciding upon the strength of his arms. Eyes closing as you were swept away in the moment of teeth and tongue and pent up tension and wanton need for eachother. His fingers pulling out your hairband so your hair pooled around your face. His fingers lacing through the soft locks as he grinned against your lips. Always having an ornate infatuation with how silky your hair was. How good it felt wrapped around his fist as he fucked you into the mattress. How it spread out behind you like waves across the crisp white bedsheets, framing your face perfectly as you slept.

He missed this. Maybe he missed you. Jolted back from his sweet thoughts, hearing you start to mumble against his lips as he continued to pin you up against the door, your head firmly in his hands.

"Yoongi." You murmured again, slurring the word slightly; drunk off the potent lust he cradled you with.

He never let up from your lips, intent on breathing you in. Hands untangling themselves from your hair as his cool calm hands landed on your shoulders, moving you away from the door to pin you to a wall, nearer to the bed. An eventual destination set in his mind. He couldn't get enough of you. Your hands travelled to cup his cheeks. His lips dry against yours gaining moisture from the saliva rolling around in your mouths as your tongues fought. Small whimpers beginning to swim their way into the air. Music to his ears. Of all the music he'd ever had a hand in creating, he wished he could emulate your tiny whimpers. Your cries for more of him. All of him. Wanting to devour him whole.

"Fuck" He exclaimed, finally pulling away from you, heavy breathing as his forehead was against yours.

Not even giving you time to breath he reached for the hem of your sweatshirt, pulling it over your head to reveal your gorgeous body to his hungry eyes. Knowing now that hiding from his gaze would be futile. An attempt at covering up would leave your ass raw and marks all over every single inch of your body. God's above. He made you feel like the only girl in the world, to him you practically were. He never sought out for any other attention or company from other women. The taste of you as often as he could have you was more than enough to satiate his heart.

He made quick work of your bra before throwing his own shirt off onto the growing pile on the floor. His hands, rough against your soft, plush breasts as his thumbs circled around your pebbling nipples. His teeth latching onto your bottom lip, humming as he looked into your steadily closing eyes. Teeth venturing south along your jaw to your neck and collarbone as he began to grab at the skin of your waist after he finished moulding your breasts; as if trying to memorise the feeling of them in his hands. The weighted comfort he had grown to adore about your chest. Teeth sinking in, enticing low gasps and the tiniest of squeaks as he would bite too hard on already sensitive flesh, intent on getting every inch of your skin covered in small indentations from his teeth. Tongue lascivious against the contours of your neck and collarbones, sickly sweet taste of your skin that drove him wild.

'Now we're lost somewhere in outer space, in a hotel room where demons play'

All you could do was pant and mule against him, your hands in his steadily drying locks. Suddenly pulling away as he untied the drawstring of his pants.

"Knees, now." He whispered authoritively and you happily obeyed.

Flicking your hair off your shoulder you sank down onto your knees. Eyes ignited with a fire he practically stoked out of you. You admired his body on the journey down. Body lithe and pale, defined arms and chest with a flat stomach, no six pack or defined v lines that led to the promising tent that you saw in your line of sight. Just a small happy trail of hair from below his belly button sneaking into the hem of his sweatpants. Swiftly taking them down and off you were greeted with black boxers, looking tight around his cock cased within. You licked your lips in anticipation as his fingers forked through the hair on your scalp. Looking up to his face as he gazed down at you with a stern look in his own eyes; burning into your already flushed skin.

"Someone looks like they've missed this." He smirked as your hand rose to palm him through his boxers.

He released a low hum at the feeling of your hand cupping his balls. You knew that he was very sensitive there, from past experiences.

"Does the slut want my cock?" He asked, a feather of a chuckle rumbled in his chest at your immediate nod as you ran your tongue over the seem of your lips.

Your fingers delved underneath the fabric as you began to pull them down. Sudden slap to your hands had you shying away from him.

"Hungry sluts have to wait don't they, kitten?" His eyes zeroing in on your reaction to the pet name.

You gritted your teeth in vague annoyance at the name, after the first night, you told him you had to be home for your cat. Finding it oddly adorable you were a cat lady he called you kitten ironically, now it's stuck. Your eyes looking away from him, turning your head slightly towards the large window that showed the rest of the city. Twinkling lights now shining in the moonlight. His hand gripped your chin, pulling your attention back to him, forcing you to look up into his devious eyes.

"I don't think you answered me, slut." He snarled; releasing your chin from his grasp.

Your heart jumped in your chest. "Y-yes, sir."

He smirked again, feeling triumphant he patted your head, thumb smoothing over your hair line with ghost like touches before running it along the seem of your mouth, popping his thumb in, flat against your tongue. Closing your lips around him, beginning to suck, big eyes gazing up at him.

"Good girl." He whispered before removing his thumb from your mouth and yanking his boxers down and stepping out of them.

His fingers danced through his damp hair as his cock sprung up against his stomach, a muted groan as the cool air touched his reddened and straining cock. Your eyes widened, never getting used to the sight of his cock, inches away from your salivating mouth, making your panties pool with a carnal need for him to be inside you. Your hands began to rub up and down your jeans clad thighs, waiting with baited breath for him to give you the command. This man and the things you'd do for him would have others question if you were a feminist or not. How a strong single woman with a steady career and bustling social life could want to be so utterly defiled by a man and be at his every whim really flipped your ideology on its head. But a drug was a drug, and you were high on him like cocaine.

"Alright, stop giving me those bedroom eyes." He gushed, dominating voice faltering as he gazed down at you, waiting and ready for him to let you begin.

You fluttered your eyelashes at him, big and bold. Biting your lip as your hands rubbed along your thighs again.

"Fuck, just get over here." He laughed, holding the base of his cock in his hand as your hands slunk up his sturdy pale thighs.

Fingertips sending sparks through his body. Your lips reaching his tip, you looked up at him again as you kitten licked his bulbous tip, testing it. Like testing a car. He hissed to which you smirked. You took your tongue to lick the underside of his cock lightly, teasing his frenulum before swirling your tongue round his tip several times. He puffed out a harsh breath but never said a word, fingers beginning to weave into your hair with a softness you were unfamiliar with. Surrounding the tip with your lips as you slowly sunk the head into your waiting mouth. Giving kitten links to the underside again as you sucked on his tip for a moment. Yoongis breath was heavy, you could tell by his chest moving, half lidded eyes looking down at you as you took more of him in slowly. Tongue still licking everywhere you could. Your other hand still positioned on his thigh as you rubbed small circles in it with your thumb.

Starting to take him deeper in your mouth and pulling him back out for breath had him seeing double. His vision was blurred as he could feel your heavenly lips wrap around his strained cock, precum and spit starting to pool at the corners of your mouth; threatening to spill as you bobbed your head back and forth on his dick. Setting up a rhythm you plunged him in deep so your nose touched his abdomen and he threw his head back with a grunt; gritting his teeth.

"Uh, fuck. Your mouth is so good" He whispered into the air.

'I've got a lover and I'm unforgiven, I'm such a fool to pay this price'

Your mouth worked on him as well as it could. You would take a lot of him in and proceed to gag which made him grunt. As your hand began to work at the base of his shaft. Giving him your all. Making up for lost time.

"Fuck, I'm not gonna last." He hissed. His hands in spearing through your hair as his thumbs rubbed at your scalp.

"I should've kept my hands to myself... Always impatient." He chuckled menacingly to himself; shaking his head.

Your breath was heaving as you pulled back from him. Hands gripping his thighs tight as you looked up at the man towering above you.

"What do you say, will you let me fuck your mouth like a good pet?" He asked, hands still in your hair.

"Make me cum, then it's your turn? How about it, kitten?"

No hesitation in your eyes as you gazed up at him as if he had hand painted all of the stars in the sky. You nodded profusely and he grinned at you; swiping the spit away from the corner of your mouth with his thumb.

"Good girl, remember your safe signal?" He asked, almost sweet in his tone.

You tapped the back of his thigh 3 times with your finger and he nodded. Feathering his fingers through your hair again, your hand still at the base of his dick lining him up to your waiting mouth. You gave him the go ahead as he thrusted shallowly into your mouth at first. Finally in your mouth his hands speared through your hair behind your ears to hold you still as he began to move his hips back and forth. You had done this before. Let him do this. But this time was so raw and so needy you honestly couldn't fathom how much you needed this. And it wasn't even your turn. He began to set up a rhythm working his length deeper with every thrust; starting to make you gag as you tried your best to relax. He breathed in sharply, his head thrown back as he pumped in and out. His shaft gliding smoothly across your tongue and beginning to slip down your throat as you sputtered around him. Hands firmly gripping the back of his thighs, the same way he was gripping your hair.

"Fuck, fuck. Your mouth. Kills me." He mumbled to himself; thinking you couldn't hear.

You looked up at him, a picture of bliss. Arms locked in place, keeping you still as he slid in and out of your mouth, picking up speed now. The veins in his neck; protruding under a velvet blanket of Frosted skin. Teeth gritted and brows furrowed. He looked down to see you already watching him. To this he groaned deep within his chest at the sight of you so willing and ready for him. Setting his nerves alight he could feel his orgasm approaching. Gripping your hair even tighter as he gave you a moment to breath before jackhammering into your mouth with a low whine.

"Fuck. Holy shit." He whispered before you felt his cock twitch deep in your throat and thick ropes of cum travel down it as he came; hips jerking at weird angles as you noticed sweat beading across his neck and collarbones; reaching up to his hairline.

After he had composed himself he pulled out of your mouth and you swallowed everything still left in your mouth before opening your mouth to show it was empty. He ran a solid hand through his own hair before he pulled you to your feet; planting a heavy kiss to your lips as he walked you back towards the bed. Practically pushing you back on it with a soft bounce. He suddenly rounded to the other side of the hotel room rummaging through a suitcase. Soon returning with several black ties in hand. Giving you a knowing smirk. You felt your stomach sink at the memory of your last adventure with this man. In this hotel room. With those ties. But judging by the look on his face and the fact his previously lifeless cock had begun to spring to life again; you knew it was different.

'I found a martyr, he told me that I'd never'

He began to move you up the bed to where he saw fit. Nodding when he had got you where he wanted. Straddling your waist he grabbed an arm tying the tie around your wrist to then loop it around the headboard. He soon did the same to the other one. Then finally you saw him gazing down at you from above before he slipped a soft silk tie over your eyes fastening it behind your head. Everything went black, but you could hear him; feel him. All around you. Feeling weight either side of your head you suddenly felt breath over your nipple; squirming at the sensation and your clothed pussy clenching around nothing. You felt him kitten lock his way along your breast before landing an unexpected bite against your neck, causing you to pull against the restraints with a sharp intake of breath.

"Remember your safe word, kitten?" He whispered in your ear.

You nodded. "Seesaw."

He sat back on his heels; still straddling you. Crossing his arms with a nod.

"Why is it Seesaw, again?" You ask, a grin sliding onto your face.

He chuckled at this before you felt weight lifted from the bed. You skin crawling with goosebumps as you waited with anticipation. Suddenly feeling deft fingers pulling your leggings and panties down in one swift movement. A beat of silence. Feeling like forever until you felt the same fingers, calloused but oh so soft against the skin of your collarbone.

"You don't remember?" He whispered into the darkness.

You shook your head no as your body began to squirm. Feeling his finger trail delicately down to your chest, followed by his other pointer finger on his left. Circling your nipples in precise motions. You sucked in a breath and your back arched as you felt him blow cool air onto the perking bud.

"Oh kitten, it was the bar where we first met" You could hear the smirk evident in his voice as his fingers trailed underneath the curve of your breasts.

"The night I took you home and ate you so good you nearly passed out." A dry chuckle left his lips at the gasp that left your own.

He began to drag his sturdy fingers slowly; tantalisingly, in soft motions towards your belly button where he would branch out with delicate touch; placing more fingers on your skin as they circled your hipbones. Finally sloping down to your thighs where his grip became firm and he pryed your legs apart to expose you to him. Heat flashing across your face as you whimpered at the action. Oh god. The things he made you feel. You felt electricity surge through your body, bouncing off your bones as you heard him hum.

"Mmmm. So wet, just from sucking my cock, kitten?"

You bit your lip with a whine; nodding profusely. Blush creeping across your cheeks. He seemed to like this as you heard a deep rumbled in his chest in approval. You could feel the bed dip slightly due to transferred weight. Right between your legs. Shit. If only you could see him. What was he doing? Was he pleased? Oh fuck, you didn't shave your le- your thoughts were far removed as you felt lips across the inside of your thigh; just above your knee.

"Shit, I can't wait to taste you." He whispered; sending cool air rushing up to your core.

Feeling his lips drag effortlessly along your thigh to where you wanted him most; needed him. He was tender; savouring the moment. He had missed this, giving you what you wanted. Watching you underneath him. Tasting you; devouring you. That's why he was so quick to cum the first time around. Too excited by the thought of having you again he had started to touch himself in the shower. Thinking of your soft, sweet body; Bending to his every whim. Your mouth stuffed full of his cock. Your enticing wet pussy that always made you blush at the sounds it would make, as he would fuck you. Hard and rough. He groaned at the thought before his face was level with your heat. Soft breaths that made your body wriggle; desperate to escape and want more; all at once. He hooked your knees over his elbows as he held your legs down. blowing against your exposed clit and watching your pussy clench around nothing; glistening with your essence he hungered for.

'With his educated eyes, and his head between my thighs'

"Mmmm. Sweet pussy baby girl." He kissed the apex of your thigh watching you writhe against the restraints. He hadn't even started yet. You were in for a long night.

You didn't seem to notice the name at first. It wasn't what he had called you any of the times before. But as the air thinned out around you; feeling the silence weighted around the room like a thick curtain and nothing was corrected, it almost felt affectionate; coming from his sinful lips that had just attached themselves to your-

"Fuck." Your breath caught as you threw your head back against the mattress.

Feeling lips suckling against your clit with vigor. He knew what you liked and knew how to get you where he wanted you. His tongue began lapping at your clit as his lips sucked where they could. Your breathing was heavy and you tried to pull against the restraints; your legs restless as the odd whimper left parted lips. His eyes although you couldn't see him, were focused on you. Watching every bite of your lip, every salacious moan or whimper; every gasp. You began rocking your hips in a rhythm against his tongue and he moaned at the pressure you posed against him. Trying to feel some friction as his throbbing cock had sprung to life from your first whimper; sandwiched between his abdomen and the mattress.

"God, this pussy is so good." He moaned; muffled by your legs trying so hard to clamp around his head as he continued his ministrations.

Soon enough you could feel the familiar rope spread throughout your body, begin to coil; tight as a spring before you felt a nip to your clit and you unravelled underneath him. Feeling weightless and weighted all at once. Stars beneath the blanket of the silk tie; delicate against your eyes. Head thrashing around as arms pulled with all their might against the restraints. Your back arched as you moaned loudly; legs starting to shake at the force of your orgasm. But that wasn't the end. He flicked his tongue against your swollen clit with more intent. Determined to push you through another orgasm before he even started using his fingers. God his fingers. Your lower body began to lift off the bed as his grip on your legs only got tighter.

"Fuck, fuck Yoongi. Oh my fucking g-"

You heard an animalistic growl as you felt another nip to your clit; yelping at the sudden spark of pain amongst your pleasure.

"Sir. Stick to the rules." He punctuated with a slap to your clit. Back arching for a moment as you felt a pulse throughout your body.

"Or I'll keep biting." He mumbled the last part.

You pouted. "Yes sir." You could feel your orgasm beginning to ebb away as he took longer to return to your clit.

You whined and you felt breath on your clit again as he chuckled. Although your predicament was purely casual. Wanting to get off essentially was your main goal. Neither of you ever rushed. Enjoying one another's company. Feeling his slick, swift tongue dancing along your clit again you moaned; trying so hard to keep quiet out of respect for neighbours as you tried resting your mouth against your arm to muffle your high pitched moans. His tongue retracted until you felt the tip of his tongue tease the edge of your entrance before dipping his tonulgue in for a moment. Your hips bolted you forward at the intrusion before settling back down on the bed. His tongue running up and down from your entrance to your clit in long strokes. Quickly settling his tongue back against your throbbing clit. You yelped as he applied more pressure.

"Fuck, I love this cunt."

Slurping noises ensued as he dove in deeper. You orgasm building again and again, holding on for dear life. Holding onto your sanity. His tongue swirling around the pulsing bud as you continued your previous rhythm rocking against his face. Your knuckles were turning white at the sheer grip you had on the ties; feeling yourself drift away.

"Fuck, please, yoo-"

He pressed his face even further into your heat as you cried out in pleasure. Tongue flicking mercilessly over your engorged clit. Reaching the summit again to fall all the way down into the abyss. He never let up from you as his tongue lapped at your juices spilling from your entrance. Nerves alight and pulsing throughout your body. A thin layer of sweat was evident against your face, collarbones; the whole of your body. Sweat beaded from his own forehead and he wiped the back of his hand over his mouth as he watched you regain your breath. Stilted in the silence. Only your chest rising and falling as your lungs gasped for air.

He loosened his right arms hold around your leg and brought his fingers forward to your sensitive pussy. Humming to himself as he gathered the Juices on the tip of his fingers and spreading it all over your pussy as it glistened in the dim hotel light. Knowing how much you lost your collective shit over his hands he couldn't help but watch his hands tip toe up to your breast; squeezing the flesh roughly in his hand before slinking it over to massage your neck for a second. Only to grab it a moment later. Your breath caught quite literally as you could feel the bed move from where he was sitting up. He could feel the pressure against your soft skin and the way your breath constricted; only for a moment as he loosened his grip. His fingers still flush against the skin. His veined hand looked like it belonged around your neck. He thought to himself before sliding his thumb into your mouth again; which you accepted with enthusiasm.

'I found a saviour, I don't think he remembers'

"One more from you, kitten. Then I'll fuck you. Okay?" He hummed.

Your reply was noncommittal as you nodded vehemently; still sucking on his thumb. He looked down at you with a certain adoration. Laying there, naked for him. Tied up and blindfolded. If he'd have thought this would be the case after that first night, he would have laughed. But here you both were.

His fingers began to trace the outline of your entrance; whisper like touches that made you clench around nothing. He began experimentally pushing his long slender middle finger inside you a little; chuckling lowly as you let out a whine. Your pussy trying to suck him in further. Wanting to feel him. All of him.

"Sir. Please." You murmured, legs that were now free from his grasp allowing you to rotate your hips.

He wanted to tease. God. He wanted to tease you until the sun came up. But he was desperate and so were you. He removed his finger earning a cry from you. Until he slid in two fingers to your shock and set a brutal pace. Feeling those godly fingers of his curl into you. Moulding you perfectly to him. Tapping against that sweet spot inside. He used his other hand to press your hips to the bed; preventing movement as you felt a touch of sensitivity kicking in. But you put it to the back of your mind; focussing on the way his fingers were drilling into you at an inhuman pace now.

Your senses heightened due to his silk tie that blocked your view. Oh how you wished you could watch his fingers sliding in and out of you like you had done countless times before. Acquiring quite the affinity with the mans hands. Pale, veiny; strong in their ability to hold you but soft when he caressed your cheek, wiping the spit away from the corner of your mouth or the pad of his thumb sweeping away tears from overstimulation. God you loved them.

"Fuck. I'm so close." You cried out, to someone. Anyone who could hear you as he continued his ministrations.

"Yeah? The slut loves my fingers doesn't she?" Yoongi spat; his voice laced with venom.

"Loves my fingers fucking her, huh?"

All you could do was mewl as you could feel your body going into overdrive. Your head slamming against the pillow as you could feel yourself near the edge. Just needing one final push.

"But you love it best when my hand's around your throat. Isn't that right? Slut?"

You hadn't felt his hand move. Too lost in the pleasure he was giving you. Until you felt it grip your throat. Not hard. But just enough. Squeezing when he said slut. Sparks flew and your fingers and toes felt as if they were set to a light simmer. Your body going numb at the feeling and your pussy throbbing as you came. A high pitched moan of his name left your bitten lips as he continued thrusting his fingers in and out of you. Body moving in time with your spasming cunt as you began to feel the overstimulation kicking in, rearing its ugly head once more. The pain was excruciating as he continued but the pleasure washed over you again as your entrance continued to clench around his fingers. Silence as a moan caught in your throat. This had to be the biggest orgasm you had ever had. Nerves set alight with matches and turning into a forest fire that exploded like gasoline until it set to a simmer when Yoongi slowed his fingers down ever so slightly. Enamoured by your head thrown back and your mouth in the perfect shape of an O. He would've cum right there, just at the sight of you convulsing beneath him.

"Cause he's off to pay his crimes, and he's got no time for mine'

"Fuck, me." He breathed, shaky breaths too.

Quickly flipping you onto your front, your still tied arms now crossed over one another. Propping your legs up so you were on your knees. A sharp smack to your ass sent you reeling into another sobbing mess. Beginning to plead with him. For something; anything.

Soon enough you felt his hands returning to your hips and ass, caressing them carefully. Your ass flinching at the contact of his lips on your lower back, you could hear a slight slapping sound behind you, assuming he had started to touch himself again. You whimpered at the thought of not being able to watch his veiny hand slide up and down his equally veiny cock. Fuck.

His lips still against your skin as he whispered "I nearly came just like that, watching you cum all over my fingers baby."

There it was again. Baby. Nothing more nothing less. There was a pregnant pause before he sighed, beginning to speak again.

"You're so fucking hot" a groan sounded as the pace of his hand quickened against his length. The slapping sound intensified.

You whimpered, beginning to move your ass up and down, wiggling it at him to invite him in.

"Yoongi, just fuck me already." You whined.

A sharp slap sounded against your ass, reverberating through the room. You winced at the pain, taking in a quick breath before a hand returned to your ass kneading it in his palm.

"Slut is so impatient today. I'll fuck you, don't worry." His words were menacing.

'Now we're lost somewhere in outer space, in a hotel room where demons play'

His hand continued to knead at your reddening cheek before pulling it aside with his thumb, showing your dripping, waiting entrance for him. He almost lost it. Almost. Deciding that you had both waited long enough he lined his throbbing condom clad cock up with your entrance and pushed in with great speed. Hissing at the feeling of your tight wet walls surrounding him.

"Oh god." You managed a strangled whimper into the mattress.

Breath caught in your throat as you could feel his dick beginning to move swiftly inside you. His hips slapping against your ass that was sure to bruise tomorrow, your wrists were aching, your body going numb to every other feeling apart from the feeling of him ploughing into you. Your vision was starry eyed and you hated it. But you loved it. Sobs began to rack through your body as he spanked you once again, sending waves of pain and pleasure through you.

His pace continued as all you could do was lie there with your hands tied, begging for anything he was willing to give you. But also feeling the familiar sting of too much. But it was never too much. You willed your body to continue on. To not give up the ghost yet. You prayed for your body to fight on. To take every thrust he battered into your throbbing, weeping pussy.

The coil you had almost forgotten existed now in the plains of numb, vacant ability to even string a sentence together, began to tighten again, expecting a fraying spent body, not one this eager for your umpteenth orgasm this evening. Your pussy clenched as he continued, hollow groans you imagine him with his head back as he thrusted into you, licking his perfect lips with that sinful tongue. God, he made you crazy.

"Yoongiiiiii, fuck I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum, please" your tone indescribable as you panted for breath that escaped you with every thrust as his skin continued to slap against yours.

Suddenly feeling him pull out which almost made you weep but being turned back over onto your back, the tie being ripped from off your head. You were greeted by a furiously sweating Yoongi. Sweat dripping from his dark chocolatey hair just above his eyes. His lips swollen pink from where he had probably been biting on them so much, not to mention when he had used the same lips to devour you not 20 minutes prior. His chest was heaving and lips parted as he gazed at you for a moment.

"I'm seeing that gorgeous face when you cum, no way I'm missing that." He stifled a laugh as he lined himself up with your entrance again after wrapping your legs around his torso.

'They run around beneath our feet, we roll around beneath these sheets'

Sliding in once more you rattled your wrists against the silk tie restraints as you cocked your head back in pleasure. You let out a high pitch moan, almost exasperated in tone, your back arching up into him before slumping back on the bed in defeat. Yoongi almost reading your mind whilst still thrusting inside of you began to untie the ties that bound your wrists. You thanked heaven for your saving grace. You could run your hands through his hair now, feel his sweaty skin beneath your fingertips. And soon after your hands were free he laced them in his own. This also being new to you. You knew the drill when having sex with him. He laid down the ground rules early on. No kissing. No cuddling. No hand holding. So what he did next really sent you through a loop.

"Fuck I'm close." He sighed before leaning down to kiss you.

His lips were salty, battered and bruised much like your own but you didn't care, you kissed back with all your might as he continued to thrust away inside you. Feeling his cock hit that sweet spot again you mewled, breaking the kiss with your head thrown back.

"Here kitten?" He asked, smirk evident in his voice.

You whimpered with a nod as he continued to thrust in the right place, hitting your spot so deliciously you couldn't help cry out when his pace turned rampant and he held your hips in his bone crushing hands, sure to bruise tomorrow. The punishing pace was set as his hips bucked into you and you tried to grab at anything you could, finding no sturdy comfort in the crisp white hotel sheets beneath you. Your breathing was erratic, you hadn't realised you'd been sweating until now, although not as much as the man above you. You watched in distracted awe at the sweat running down his broad chest, along his stomach and down to where his cock was pummelling into you.

You could feel it again, serious this time. Your orgasm creeping up on you faster than any bullet. Your legs tingled and your toes curled. Your knees felt like they would break and your arms felt detached from the rest of your body. In the last moments you saw him gazing down at you, exasperated, fucked out beyond belief. But smiling. You reached up at the nape of his neck and pulled him down to you, pressing your lips against his as you succumbed to the pleasure that wreaked havoc throughout your body. A heart wrenching shout came from your lips. In every moment, a glitch of your body as it spasmed with unruly disregard and poor timing. Your pussy clenched repeatedly on his cock while he continued to thrust inside of you.

"Oh fuuuck, I'm coming." He groaned into your neck as he used hard, purposeful thrusts as he came in the condom.

'He's coming down, coming down'

The sweat that accumulated on both your bodies cemented you together for moments after. All pretence and notions suspended as you both caught your breath back. Heaving. Breathing one another in. Soon Yoongi peeled himself off of you and went to remove the condom. You lay there, staring up at the ceiling. Stars still there. You weren't imagining it in the end. Scraping your hair from off your face as you wiped the sweat from your brow. Soon he returned, bouncing onto the bed next to you, looking up at you in adoration almost. A nervous smile present on his lips as if he didn't just drag you to the 7th layer of hell with him. Or was it heaven? You could never be sure.

You looked over at him with heavy lids, inquisitive look on your face as he swept hair from your shoulder. Looking down at you with that same smile. Before -

"You fancy going on a date, some time?"

NOW Mr Min is usually not my main man but i can't help it, just, shit okay Min Yoongi.

I realise I'm probably going to hell for this but we joon

Hope you guys enjoyed, working on the next installment as we speak 🤪 if you want to be added to a taglist let me know 🥴

Love Always

Mac 🧡💜

#BADLANDS x BTS #smut series #myg x reader #non idol au #min yoongi smut #this is intense #i can only apologise #bts #bangtan #bts smut

123 notes · View notes

timextoxhajima · 4 years

Text

Playlist Feels

Member: Yunho

Genre: mellow, lofi cafe feels idk, long-forgotten romance??

Word Count: 1.9k

your eyes were fixated on the laptop screen, a daily cup of white chocolate mocha steaming next to your laptop on the surface of the table. you stretched and took a deep breath.

the holidays were here, snow was falling like cotton outside, but you were sitting here in your favourite cafe, comitting yourself to your work that, though drained you, was inviting enough to keep you occupied in this season. the sight of couples strolling outside was the first thing that caught your attention, followed by the children running around and making footprints in the snow piled up against the sidewalks.

your eyes drifted back onto your computer screen, when the bell that hung on the entrance door of the cafe jingled. the scent of roses drifted through the air, and you weren't sure if you were just being sensitive with your sense of smell, but you started to wonder how come nobody else was reacting to such a strong scent.

It wasn't a scent that not many wore, much less a man who had just entered the cafe -- your eyes reacted to the scent faster than your thought process, finally realising who it was.

you lifted your hands off the table, leaning back in the seat as your eyes traced the shape of his forehead, his browbone, his nose, his lips. you looked back at the screen, then tried to steal a look at him through your lashes, just that this time, he was looking at you too.

"Latte macchiato with spoon of cocoa powder," you heard him order.

Hmm. you hum. still the same order after five years.

He walks over to the table warily, his hands jammed into his coat pockets and his hair now longer but neatly combed up to expose his forehead, browner with more dye. "Still the workaholic you were when you left, i see."

"i was going to stay a workaholic regardless of the people i was with," you leaned forward and offered him a small smile. he pulls out the chair opposite you and sits down.

he smiles back with his eyes. "five years."

"five years," you almost whisper in response. you take a sip out from your own cup. "if you still think it was easy convincing myself to leave back then--"

"no, i didnt think it was easy," yunho shakes his head. "i just wish... i had more power to keep you here. i just wish whatever we had was enough to make you stay, but i guess i was wrong."

he looks you in the eye, gently blinking his tired, jetlagged eyes.

*flashback

you trudged your way back to the apartment, your mind elated but your heart heavy in your chest as you thought about the conversation earlier that day.

"i'll be sending you over to paris to work with chanel on their promotions."

"Huh?" You raised a brow, your hands held behind your back as you watched your boss pack her table and shove some files back into the shelf behind her.

"you've been producing quality work. so, i'm choosing you to go to paris and be our representative to work with chanel on a new contract."

new contract?

"this isn't a one-time business trip?"

"no, it's not. chanel's picky about the collaborations they offer other companies, and the one we got is based on a 7-year contract. If you accept it, you'll be staying in paris for the next 7 years."

you sucked your lips between your teeth and blink at your boss upon hearing the offer.

"i know you're in a serious relationship right now. but you deserved this offer, which is why i raised the topic in the first place. whatever you choose to do with it is up to you." your boss had her palms flat against her desk as she leaned forward and scanned your facial expression.

reality yanks you back to current time, when yunho gets the door of the small house open before you even reach the walkway.

"Oh, you're back! i was about to drive out to get you--"

"yunho," you breathed, picking up your pace as you turned into the walkway. "we need to talk."

yunho blinks at you, unconsciously wrapping his hands around yours as he pulls you through the door.

*now

"do you regret the decision?" you rested your cheek in your palm, looking at yunho's facial features. five years had zero impact on his looks. he still looked as good as the last time you saw him.

"of letting you go to paris?" yunho raised a curious brow, taking a sip from his latte. you nod.

"no," he shakes his head and licks his lips, resting his forearms on the table top and rests some weight on his arms. "you told me at the start of our relationship that your career was top priority, and i said i respected it. i still do."

there he was. the man you fell in love with. his maturity and ability to understand you on a different level was what made you so attracted to him in the first place.

"we both know i wouldn't have been able to stop you anyway."

your brows tilted backwards on your face, and you cocked your head to the side at his words. you felt shitty the week you left yunho, but all you could remember was him telling you to do your best, and that this was what you had been working for. 'you deserve it', he said. he might have been mature enough to respect your decision to pursue your career, but you were the one who chose to leave him, the only man whom you truly loved and wanted to be with.

"yunho, i--"

"no, please," yunho shows you his palm. "don't apologise."

you look down at your closed laptop, rubbing your eyes and running your hand through your hair. yunho finishes his drink and notices that your eyes were a little red, probably from staring too much at your screen.

"where are you staying now? i'll send you. how long are you staying for?" yunho hands you a napkin.

"hotel rendezvous. about 10 days." you take the napkin, knowing that he's already noticed your tiredness.

"okay. let's get you back to the hotel. you're already exhausted," yunho stands up. you remember this tactic of his. it was a power move that made you anxious, that made you pack up and leave with him, so you did just that.

the drive to the hotel was quiet, but strangely comforting. The car was filled with yunho's scent, so you felt like you had just been thrown back five years to when you first started living with him.

time seemed to pass, even when not many words were spoken. it was almost like god was punishing you for choosing your career over yunho. you fumbled through your wallet for the keycard, pushing the heavy door open and holding it, gesturing into the room towards yunho.

"are you sure? You're exhausted, you should be resting and not entertaining a gue--"

"Oh, shut up and get in," you chuckle, leaning forward and pulling him in.

you got your bag off your shoulders, carefully placing the laptop on the table next to the bed. yunho looked around the small, but elegant room while you pulled off your coat and your earrings.

you leaned down to the corner of the table, reaching for the socket switch to turn on your charger as yunho walked to the large sliding door a few steps away, looking out at the snow falling gently onto the balcony.

"how does it look like in paris?" he asks quietly, the warmth from his breath creating a small cloud of vapour against the glass. you stand straight again after checking that your laptop was charging before walking over to the sliding door, shoving your hands into the pockets on your butt.

"oh, gorgeous. especially when it snows. it's beautiful."

you hear yunho give a small laugh through his nostrils.

"you know, i thought about it. i thought about flying to paris to look for you, because i was never able to let you go."

you purse your lips and gulp, a strange feeling creeping up on your chest. it felt like when you first crushed on him and you had no idea if he would reciprocate. it was a feeling of anxiety and uncertainty.

"can i ask you something?"

oh, no.

"okay."

yunho finally turns to look at you, his height suddenly extremely in your face because of the lack of space between the two of you. you were dangerously close to him, so much that the only thing you could smell was the scent of him mixed with the rose cologne nobody else wore.

"do you still love me?"

you freeze at the question. your eyes try to look away, but yunho shifts his head to meet them. you slowly look down at your feet, only for him to tilt your chin upwards to look at him.

"i just need an honest answer."

you sigh, feeling your heart and presence completely melt at his touch. it was light, and gentle, and you would be lying if you said you didn't miss it.

You'd be lying straight through your teeth if you said you didn't still think about him every other day, even when you were in paris.

yunho realises that you've gone quiet for a very long time, and he is aware that the only time you do that is when you know a truth you refuse to admit.

yunho closes the gap between the both of you, pulling you closer to him by your chin and kissing you lightly on your lips.

a feeling of nostalgia, warmth, and love overwhelmed you all at once. It had been five. long. years.

yunho pulls away and looked you in the eyes, knowing that there was no other person who could read you better.

"i do," you breathed, as yunho's hands shifted to your cheeks, his cold fingertips right below your earlobes. "i do, and i always will."

a small smile pulls his lips up his cheek, and you could see his eyes welling up with tears before he pulls your face to his again, this time, pressing harder, pressing longer, allowing the both of you to reminisce the taste of each other's lips.

"i'll never let you go again. i let you go once, i'm not letting you go again." yunho presses his forehead against yours, then pulled you into his embrace and burying his nose in your hair. you shut your eyes tightly, grimacing at the warmth and presence nobody else besides yunho could provide you.

"yunho," you were trying your best not to cry.

"hmm?"

"i'm assuming you still love me then?"

you felt yunho laugh a little into your hair.

"i'll love you for the rest of my life, and in the lives after this. no matter where you were, no matter where you will be, you will always have my heart."

A/N: i may or may not have busted a big fat uwu writing this, this might be the softest one shots ive ever written.

#timetohajima #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez imagine #ateez fic #ateez #ateez yunho #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #yunho #yunho scenarios #jung yunho #yunho oneshot #ateez oneshot #playlist feels #Spotify #timetohajima playlist feels

65 notes · View notes

fictional-worlds-are-exquisite · 3 years

Note

thank you! i think you're genuinely the only person that has ever said they actually like the fact that my bathrobe is obnoxiously pink. and you're absolutely right, one of the things i like most about it is that it hurts people's eyes. i love it actually. if you ever celebrate halloween you should absolutely add your bathrobe to your costume. an amazing idea. since it has a mouse face on the hood it could be two costumes rolled into one - both a vampire and a mouse (if in the middle of the evening you get bored of one), which i think would be awesome. and you probably wouldn't get cold (is it cold in nz during halloween? because here it almost always is). we don't celebrate halloween in lithuania either though. which i'm a bit bummed about, because halloween sounds super fun. mostly because of the dressing up! but i did celebrate it once, when i was 11 or 12 maybe? me and a couple of friends decided it would be fun even if it's not really celebrated here. so we dressed up, even went trick ir treating (half the houses had no idea what was happening and also i pretty much froze to death because i was dressed as a dead bride and refused to put a coat on because then you couldn't see my dress) and also watched horror movies. 12 (or 11) year old me thought it was amazing.

oh yeah! i've broken a knife on 2 separate occasions i think. once i tried to get something out of between the blender's blades, used a knife and then accidentally turned the blender on (i'm so fucking glad it was a knife and not my fingers). so the tip of the knife broke off (the blender was ok tho). and the second time i have no idea how it happened. i was cutting up broccoli and the knife just fell apart??? i was so confused, because one second i'm holding a knife and the next it's just two pieces of a handle and the metal part, all separate. had fun explaining that to my dad. you sound pretty unlucky too! i mean, a cut every time you use a knife, but you don't even notice it at the time? i think it's just that knives are out to get us (it's my newest conspiracy theory). i actually get double vision too sometimes! mostly when i'm tired, but i just figured that it was because i have really bad eyesight

they definitely SHOULD teach about gender and sexuality in school. it's a really big problem that in a lot of places it's either not compulsory or not even in the curriculum. honestly, everything i know about sex ed or lgbtq+ i had to learn myself on the internet, because we only had one class when we were like 13 years old with a guest speaker and it was mostly biology and then a little bit about menstruation and pads for girls (i have no idea what they told boys because we were also separated). so sex ed definitely sucks a lot in my country and i bet it's the same in a lot of others, which makes me really mad

exactly!! it's so hard to tell whether i'm feeling romantic or platonic love sometimes! it's confusing. also i remember one time me and a couple of friends had a sleepover and the friend's, who was hosting, parents weren't home so we watched romance movies (scandalous i know). again we were maybe 12. and they kept going "oh he's so hot" and intensely watching the sex scenes. while i was looking away from the tv whenever sexy times were going on and commenting on how much i loved the house design and the garden. gee i wonder what that means. (still can't believe it took me this long to figure out i was ace)

the breakfast went very well though! it's so interesting how different traditions are everywhere. i hope your lunch and the rest of christmas day went well too! (also i forgot to ask last time, but what is boxing day? google says it's mostly a shopping holiday, is it that? we just call it the second day of christmas and it's pretty much the same as christmas day but there's no presents!) but yeah i hope you had fun with your extended family on boxing day!

having acid reflux sounds like it sucks. i love breakfast, it's my favourite meal of the day (when i don't have to rush that is) and i skip lunch a lot because i usually have no time for it (my schedule kinda sucks), so i usually try to have a bigger breakfast. but hey, peanut butter is good! so at least you can have something that tastes good for breakfast!

aaand i feel like this ask got away from me. sorry it's so long!

it’s because i have t a s t e. it may not be GOOD taste but it sure is...taste...and i am proud of it. and yes, i love the idea of adding my dressing gown to my costume specifically because it means i’m basically in my PJ’s. minimal effort. comfort to the max. living the dream. halfway through the night i’m tired of being the vampire no one invites in so i drop to my knees and start the mouse act. mice are good at getting in houses and getting to chocolate and such. the dream. also i absolutely would get bored of one costume within the space of a few hours knowing me, so that’s a plus. uhhhh halloween is october which is. mid-late spring so it really depends on the day. it might be a little cold, might be shorts weather. I rarely leave my house at night so I’m not an expert on nighttime temperatures sdflsdfjsd.

I used to wish we did Halloween here but that was mostly because I wanted lollies. Although I also liked playing dress up as a young kid so maybe very young me would’ve vibed with the costume aspect. I know there’s a photo of me when I was like, 5 and my best friend of the time dressed up as witches at some point, maybe we had our own little halloween. I also possibly had a halloween themed birthday party once as a kid? I remember the little gift bags having spooky things in them and also possibly a bat cake but my memory is too bad to remember for sure. aha that’s the problem here too, no one locally would ever think to buy lollies to give out so it’d just be like um. you can have an apple I guess? at least you had fun though! i respect the commitment to the costume despite the cold.

that is such a stressful story to read, i fear for your life. although i understand the knife breaking in that first scenario. that would be terrifying though. what if the blender launched it,,, nOPE. i’m very glad it wasn’t your fingers, that’s some horror movie shit. the second time is just,, it be like that sometimes. it was probably just waiting to happen. my parents have a cheese grater with a loose handle and it. falls off. every time. i dry it. with the dishes. and every time i fear for my life as the grating bit drops off towards my feet as i’m left holding the handle. i should expect it by now but i never do. I get scared every time it happens. knives are definitely out to get us, i fully support this conspiracy theory. oh yeah, tiredness doesn’t help with double vision. i kind of need bifocal glasses by now but I also don’t want bifocal glasses so i just suffer but I suspect having them would reduce the double vision. maybe. maybe not.

yup! i remember someone handing out tampons and pads at primary school, i assume after giving a talk about periods, idk. i do also remember a teacher pulling the girls aside and being like yo, this is what a period is, here’s a horror story about my daughter and a tampon, enjoy the trauma, go back to class. good times. we did actually get really comprehensive sex ed concerning most things at my high school but that is faaaarrr from the norm around here, clearly. although teenage boys are good at filling in gaps, in my experience. they’re like little sex encyclopedias that offer up information without you asking. i didn’t ACTUALLY want to know that but i do now, i guess, thanks michael.

dude. the ‘oh he’s so hot’ comments are so confusing. ‘hot’ is like a category of attractiveness that I’ve never understood. ‘isn’t he hot?’ what does that MEAN rebecca. i think i asked once if it meant like, attractive or good looking. and the person i asked was like, you know, hot. you just look at them and, you know- no i don’t know. what is this. i don’t think i’ve ever watched a sex scene with people my age though, generally i just zone out for them sdkfhskdfh. i feel like there’s definitely all these indicators when you look back like oh yeah, should’ve realised i was ace then, but it’s just. such a hard sexuality to figure out. not that other sexualities aren’t but you’ve got to figure out an absence of something when you don’t even know what the something feels like- it’s a challenge.

I’m glad it did! It is interesting, for sure. I’ve always been interested in how winter Christmas’s work. As a young kid I didn’t understand hemispheres...obviously...i was like 5...and i’d go out on Christmas morning to see if there was snow. and sometimes it’d be a bit chilly in the morning and I’d be like damn. we almost had some this year. it’s a shame our climate tends to be too hot for snow on christmas :// like no you tiny dumbass it’s summer you little idiot there will be no snow no matter what. everything ended up going super well here :). boxing day is basically just a shopping holiday, i don’t know if it has any significance in any other way, i’m sure it did at one point, but i know there’s always boxing day sales everywhere. I think it’s also a public holiday (?) to give people another day off work and that, but I could be wrong there. I know I also used to regularly go to the races (horse races) nearby that were always held on boxing day, it was like a 150 year old tradition or something until people in attendance started dropping and I think they finally shut it down a couple years back. I didn’t care all that much about the horses but they also had food and carnival-type rides and such for the kids which is why I loved it. also we tended to meet extended family there for a picnic lunch.

acid reflux is like the least of my problems sdfkjshdkf. it’s annoying but it’s pretty managed with medication, I have to watch certain foods and drinks but I’m used to it by now. I think it’s also what causes me to not be able to eat large amounts normally so I survive a lot on snacks and a reasonable sized dinner. works for me. but peanut butter is good! i’m glad i can have that! I used to also have vegemite but that’s a bit more of a push, it’s easier to stick with peanut butter.

also it’s fine!! my responses are always very long too sdfjhskdf.

#i got told i probably needed bifocals like #at LEAST 2 years ago #probably more #but realistically i'm probably too dumb to use them correctly i wouldn't look in the right place for close vision or whatever #i'd probably give myself a headache #also to this day i have never gone NEAR a tampon #the horror story gave me enough trauma thanks #anyway gonna go eat an ice cream sundae and suffer #might fuck around and make my lactose intolerance hate me haha #it'll be WORTH it #i say now #in an hour i'll be dying #it's fine #Anonymous

2 notes · View notes

thedungeonsbat · 5 years

Text

Muggle Love (Chapter 10)

Chapter 10

"I am… a wizard." Severus had never been this nervous in his whole life and trying to maintain his usual tone, seriously the hardest job right now. He kept looking at you waiting for an answer. He would not have been surprised if you had screamed or jumped up in surprise because he had told you his truth after calculating all of the possible reactions. He had his mind made up, he wasn't gonna lie to you anymore, at least not with this.

"You what?" You exclaimed, your expression had turned even more bewildered. You were pretty sure you heard him wrong.

"A wizard, (Y/N). Just listen t-" He was beginning to say but you could not hear anything after he told you what he was, if you heard him right, a wizard. All other words out of his mouth were mute to you.

"B-but they don't exist. Wizards are- they are just fantasies! There's no such thing a-as magic!" You were almost shouting. Seeing you panic so much Severus thought- well, was sure- that he had made the wrong choice. You did not take it well apparently but he knew this could happen. He was positive this would be the end of your 'friendship'.

"That is what you think. There is so much you do not know that exists." He tried to maintain himself calm while also doing the same for you.

You suddenly got up causing Severus to look up, a hint of surprise on his face. This was it, you were going to leave him or so he thought.

"Tell me its some joke, Sev. It's seriously not funny." Of course it was not a joke, his face was all you needed to know he wasn't being 'funny'.

Severus took your hand in his and made you sit again. You two had been looking intently at each other and had hardly broken the eye contact even once.

You felt vulnerable under his touch and you could feel your face redden, even if it wasn't the right time to blush. You wished for him to not notice him and God knows if he ever did, his face never reflected any of his thoughts. But, his eyes were filled with so many emotions, mainly remorse.

"It's not. Why would I ever lie to you? I would never want to break your trust, you know that." His voice was soft and low and his expression melted.

"Then why did you not tell me before?" You tried to maintain a steady voice but you knew it would break very soon.

Severus was lost for words. What would he say? The truth was still unclear to him, he wasn't even sure why he told you now.

"I- I did not want to lose you." He almost whispered. You had not noticed but the gap between the two of you had lessened and you were barely inched away from each other.

With your other hand you held his and replied, "I d- don't know, Severus. I always feel like I know nothing about you. I thought we were friends, "

"But we are, (Y/N)." He said shortly, he was hurt. So were you.

"I thought so too." You said in a barely audible whisper while slowly loosening your hands from his grip. You looked down at your feet and your eyes began to water. Believing he was a wizard was impossible for you. You had never heard anything of such kind. But also, your heart was not ready to believe he would lie, to you. And even if he was a wizard, even if he could do magic, how would ever be able to be with him like you were before?

You got up again, preparing to leave. But of course Severus was not gonna let you go so easily. He did not tell you his true identity just to see you leave.

"(Y/N) dont. Please. I can show you..." He said, placing his finger under your chin to make you look up to him. You resisted but once again, you were weak under his tender touch. You did not want him to see you crying. It broke his heart to see you like this, specially because he was the reason.

A part of you told you that it was wrong to believe him. But a part of you told you that he would never lie to you, that he would never break your trust and evidently the other part's opinion was much, much stronger. You were the one who hid your birthday from him, he wasn't the one to lie to you about something but then again, he never really did tell you something about himself.

You opened your mouth to speak something but closed it again. The words would come out and it was harder to believe that this all wasn't a dream. What was he going to show you? Was this for real?

"Close your eyes." Severus said as he stepped one step closer and seeing no other option, you did accordingly. Your stomach was twisting, again the same feelings. Damn these hormones!

"Trust me." He whispered, sending chills down your spine, as he very often did. You could feel him very close to you and you began breathing heavily. Your heart rate increased every second and you soon felt him taking your hands in his.

Then suddenly, you felt strange. Extremely strange and sick. Everything seemed to revolve around you and because your eyes were closed, you could not see what was happening. A moment ago, you felt like… floating and now, in a mere blink of an eye, you felt ground beneath your feet. What was he doing? Whatever it was, it made you feel very, very uneasy. Thank goodness you did not faint but you were really dizzy. He had gripped your hands tighter to make sure you did not fall.

Severus had closed his own eyes too and within seconds he spoke, "You may open them now."

You slowly opened them, scared of what you might see. Severus had not told you what he was about to do, he was a wizard even though you still couldn't completely believe it. You had spent years studying science and now a person tells you he could do magic and sorts, it was going to be extremely hard to trust the fact that another world existed where people with magical powers lived and where there were wonders you had never even dreamed of.

When you finally opened your eyes, you couldn't believe them. You saw Severus standing in front of you, still very close and hands intertwined. He was not all you could see, your eyes trailed around the surroundings. You were no longer in his house. No walls and no roof!

"Sorry about the sickness, it happens." He told you, finally releasing your hands from his grip, realising how long he had been holding them. You looked around and seeing what you were seeing, you pinched your arm to make sure you were not dreaming.

"Ouch... It is real." You muttered under your breath. Then you turned around again for a better view of everything around you.

You were in an open field, the sun was setting and the sky was red. All around your feet was long, thick grass. It was neither too hot not too cold, it was pleasant and quiet. Tall trees were behind you and not a single soul could be seen in front of you. You knew for sure you weren't in London anymore but still had no idea where you could possibly be now.

(The location should look something like this, just the sky was a bit redder.)

"S- Severus, what is this? I mean, how did we? Di- Did you do this?" You asked turning towards him. He would have been amused by your reaction but he was in no such place. He was hesitating and afraid of what could happen now. He had apparated with a muggle, again. And it was you both the times, of course you did not remember the first time.

He sighed and replied, "Yes. I want you to believe that I am not lying to you about anything. Try to understand, (Y/N)."

"I- I am, but this, " You paused to glance around you again, "this is unbelievable. And I think… in a good way." Severus could see the slightest hint of a smile but disappeared as soon as it came but it was enough. Enough to know he could hope for something.

"Really?" He asked, tilting his head a bit. Severus Snape was a person who wasn't expected to look cute but right now, he was and there was no denying it.

"Perhaps." You replied mocking his tone to which he raised his eyebrow. Very attractively in fact.

There were no tears in your eyes now, but excitement about what oddity just happened. And there you were! The best of you showed, you were back. The most astonishing fact that Severus found about you was how easy-going you were. All the time. You let go of old things very easily. Maybe that is what made you so special.

Not only your mood was lit up by the new surroundings but also you lift up Severus' spirits too. He was confident now. Confident that you might start to trust him and most importantly accept. It somewhat disturbed him that he needed you to accept him.

You approached him and he looked down to maintain the eye contact as you came closer to him. It was strange how hard it was for any of you to break it. It was like you never wanted to be free from each other's gaze.

For a minute you hesitated to do anything but then you hugged him lightly, still hesitant.

"I'm sorry." You whispered and he judged by your voice you were crying.

"Shh..Its alright. It was my fault anyway." You battled your urge to protest his statement but at the moment, you had found so much of comfort in his arms that you did not say anything.

He pulled away slightly only to wipe your tears.

After that, you sat down on the soft grass, pulling Severus down with you. He resisted but failed. You sat silently for many minutes which felt like hours. You were watching the beautiful sunset, it was one like you had never seen before.

"Where are we, Sev?" You asked breaking the silence.

"Someplace away from everyone's eyes." He replied but did not look at you.

You pouted, "Why can't you ever answer my questions properly?"

He faced you now, a smirk on his face. He did not respond and you scowled. "Don't do that." He remarked.

"Why? You're not the only one permitted to do that. Its not like I need a license to frown, Mr. Grim." You tried to sound cold like him which only amused him more although he was not really pleased with your way of addressing him.

"Very well." You turned away, "But tell me, do you mean to say that the blonde-man was a wizard and he vanished with magic?"

"Yes, and that is how I did it."

"Cool." You commented earning a frown of confusion for him.

"Cool? You find magic cool?" He said in his drawling tone.

"Well, yes. Everything must be so easy."

Performing tasks with magic was easy, true, but the challenges faced by the wizarding community were a nightmare. Specially for Severus for he had a secret no one but Dumbledore and he knew.

"So you believe me then?"

"I never doubted you but it is still hard to… accept."

"Take your time." He softly told you. You smiled at him and then again a comforting silence spread over you.

~~~Severus' POV~~~

I told her to take her time. At least I know she was trying. It was a huge relief for me to know that she did not think I was a liar. Even though she did not take it well in the beginning, she took it better than I had expected in the end.

I feel like she has become a part of my life. I don't want it to be true, it can't possibly be. My mind says it's not right but my heart says otherwise… Everything is bright around her, she makes me smile. Genuinely. I never even knew I would ever be capable of it after whatever happened. For some moments, all the worries vanish but they come back as soon as she leaves. What is my heart doing to me?

~~~Your POV~~~

It's weird, super weird. Magic always sounded so absurd to me but here I am, believing Severus. I seriously do not know what I should do. Something makes me want to trust him, no matter what. Because if I do not, I'll lose another person I hold dear.

It's really complicated. I thought I was capable of handling situations well but apparently I am not. Right now I do not care who or what Severus is. It feels right to be with him and that is what I am doing and hopefully will do in the future. He might be a 'gloomy' person but he seems to have made a permanent spot in my heart… What's happening? I never feel this but I am now.

The whole 'wizard' thing is too much to handle right now. I'm trying to get it off my mind and see the positives of it even though it's so crazy. I am glad that Severus decided to share it with me. Well, it does seem better this way, after all I can't go fussing about everything after… that's a whole other point. At present, at this moment I am just happy to have met a person like him because he is someone who makes me feel right. The only one.

_______________________

A/N: Thanks for reading. Please let me know what you think of it because I am not really satisfied with this one. Its sometimes hard to write something that won't be too unhappy and make it as real as possible. I really hope you liked this chapter. Also, the updates might be less frequent for the next two weeks though I will try to upload a chapter or two a week. Thanks again and lots of love to ya all❤❤

60 notes · View notes

awkward-uwu · 6 years

Text

A Royal Journey pt. 5

Previous//Next//Beginning

Genre: Fluff, Fantasy

Pairings: Female Reader x Felix, Woochan, a little Minsung

Warnings: Blood and Violence

Word count: 3,507

As Felix leaves your room he shuts your door and leans his back against it, he sits there for a second before he starts quietly giggling to himself as he covers his face with his hands. He sighs with a smile and turns to head to his room only to see Chan leaning up against their door, he jumps and almost falls over, “Chan! Hi! What are you doing here?!”

“After you decided to head to the room I thought you might not be feeling well so I was checking in on you,” Chan smirks, “But apparently you're just fine,” Felix blushes, “I- uh- we were just talking, and- uh- we-” Chan raises an eyebrow, “Sure, because that was a reaction of someone who was just talking,” he chuckles. Felix’s blush deepens, “It wasn't anything like that Chan!! We were just… just kissing…”

“Ah, ok. . . WAIT WHAT?!?!”

“Chan! Shhh, people are trying to sleep… here, let's talk in our room…” They quickly make their way to their room and Chan eagerly sits on one of the beds, “Ok ok ok ok. Tell. Me. Everything.”

“Alright! Alright, calm down…” Felix sighs, “So last night, after we-”

“Last night?!?!”

“Chan! Let me finish!”

“Oh, right, sorry.” Chan is almost vibrating out of his skin at this point because otp has actually happened. Felix chuckles, “So last night, after we dropped off Jeongin at his place I took her to the the pond, and we kinda just sat there for a moment before I told her how much I liked her, and I was fully expecting to be rejected, but before I could even finish talking she was kissing me… and… it was so… wow… she was so... and her eyes that close were just… wow…” Felix smiles to himself as he stares at the ground, “I just had to say goodnight to her, I wanted her to be the last thing on my mind as I fall asleep…” Chan just about explodes, and something of a squeak squeal sound escapes his mouth as he tackles Felix, “I can't believe my little baby bro is going out and falling in love!”

“Ack! Chan, I can't breath…” Felix flails his arms under Chan’s grasp.

“Oops sorry… I'm just so happy for you…” Chan giggles as he helps Felix back up and Jeongin walks in very confused.

The next morning Felix quickly get dressed and leaves the room. “Hey, where are you going??” Chan asks. “I just need to talk to Y/n real quick, I'll be right back,” Chan smirks, “Alright, but we'll probably be downstairs by the time you're done,” Chan winks and Felix rolls his eyes at him and leaves. He quickly knocks on your door as you're still getting dressed, “Yes? Who is it?”

“It's Felix!” You smile, “Wait just a minute, I'm not fully dressed!” You quickly pull on all your clothes except your armor and you open the door and smile and let him in, “Didn't we just do this?” You smile softly as you wrap your arms around the back of his neck and pull him into a soft kiss. He sighs into the kiss as he slowly moves his hands down your sides to you waist. You pull away and sigh, “that's never gonna get old…” You then move your arms away from his neck and go over to start putting your armor on, “Now, did you come here just for that or did you need something?” You laugh a little as you start pulling the bottom half of your armor on. “Um actually, I wanted to talk,”

“Ok? About what?” You pull your chest armor over your head.

“About, what we are…” You pause, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, what are we to each other, like, are we a couple now?” You laugh, “Well, I mean, we've kissed like what? Four times now? I'd consider us a couple.” You shrug as you pull your boots on. “So… I can call you my girlfriend…?”

“I-” you sit there for a second, “Huh, I guess so…” a smile slowly grows on your face, “My boyfriend is the prince…” you begin to giggle. “So that means my girlfriend is a princess,” he smirks as you start to laugh and hide your face in your hands to hide the blush now covering your cheeks. He walks over to you and moves your hands off your face and just smiles at you before he kisses you on the nose, “You're too cute, my heart might explode,” You giggle and blush deeper. “Hey, wait, aren't I technically not a princess unless I marry you…?”

“Not technically, but I'm still gonna call you one,” he smirks and pulls you into a kiss that you smile into. You move your hands to the small of his back as he puts his hands back on your waist and pulls you in closer. He slowly moves his hands to your hips as he leans his head to the side to deepen the kiss. You move your hands up into his head and slowly run your fingers through his hair which makes him sigh as he slowly pushes you up against the wall behind you. He slowly pulls way before it's gets too far and just looks into your eyes and smiles, “I can't believe the most beautiful girl in Estra is my girlfriend.” You giggle and hide your face in his chest and he laughs.

You grab your mace and bag and make your way downstairs where the rest if the boys are now sat.“Oh Felix, Y/n! You took so long we already ordered, I hope you're ok with potatoes,” Jeongin smiles brightly as you both sit down at the table. You laugh, “Sure, I like potatoes,” Not long after you sit down the bartender comes out with hash browns and eggs and Chan quickly eats and stands up, “I'm gonna go get the cart and Woojin, I'll be back to pick the rest of you up in about an hour,”

“Oh, alright, do you want any help?” Changbin asks still eating.

“Nah, I'll be fine, thanks for offering though,” You look at Chan knowingly, “Are you sure Chan?” He sighs and rolls his eyes, “Yes, I'm positive, I will be, fine,” You simply laugh, “Alright, just don't freeze again,” Chan slightly glares at you as he leaves and you just laugh harder as the rest of the guys look at you very confused. “Y/n? What was that about?” Felix asks. “Oh nothing, you'll figure it out eventually,” The guys look twice as confused but continue eating.

After the rest of you finish eating Han slides over next to you, “So, you said you and Felix weren't in a relationship right? Why don't we-”

“Uh, actually… Felix?” Felix just nods and smirks. “We actually are, starting two days ago… although we only just today agreed that we're a couple,” you chuckle as Felix laces his fingers with yours. “Oh…” Han sighs dejected and slides back over to Minho, “I guess I'll have to go back to hitting on you,” he winks at Minho and you all laugh not seeing how happy Minho is about this.

Meanwhile Chan makes it to the garden in about twenty minutes, he makes his way to Woojin’s house and takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. There's a pause before there's a slightly muffled shout, “In the back!” Chan quickly makes his way around the house and sees a large patch of sunflowers in an almost perfect circle but he doesn't see Woojin anywhere. “Um, hello…?” Chan looks around the area as a few chickens walk up and start pecking at his feet. “In here,” Chan hears from inside the sunflower patch and walks over to it confused. He walks around the side and sees a gap between the flowers, he looks in as Woojin pops his head out, “Oh! Hi! Um… Chan, right?”

“I- um- Yeah! I'm here to get you,”

“Yes, of course, I just have a few things to do first if that's alright, could you maybe help?” Woojin steps all the way out of the sunflowers and wipes his brow and leaves a smudge of dirt on his forehead. Chan can feel his heart speed up as he does this and sort of just stares for a moment, “Uh… Chan…?” Woojin waves his hand in his face. “Oh! Yes! Sorry, I'll help, what do you need me to do?” Woojin softly chuckles, “I just need you to bring these sunflowers inside while I put the chickens away and clean up, there's a vase on the table you can put them in, just fill it with water first,” he smiles softly as he hands Chan a handful of sunflowers and heads over to the chicken coop. Chan heads inside and quickly finds the vase and fills it with water, he puts the flowers in it and sets it back on the table. The orange tabby that he saw yesterday hops up into a windowsill and lays down. Chan walks over and begins petting it as he looks out the window where Woojin is carrying two chickens over to a fenced in area, he looks over and sees Chan in the window and smiles. Chan smiles back and quickly looks away so Woojin doesn't see the blush building on his face. After a minute Woojin heads inside, he walks over to a basin of water and washes his hands and face. He then turns to Chan and smiles, “Alright, let's go, my friend should be here to watch the place soon,” Chan nods and they head to the stables.

The young man who was there yesterday helps untie the horses as chan heads around the back to get the cart. Once they hook the horses up Chan sits up front to drive and Woojin sits next to him, Chan tenses up and silently starts panicking in his head due to how close they are. He takes a deep breath a looks over to Woojin, “You ready?”

“Yup!” Woojin smiles softly and Chan quickly looks away as his heart speeds up slightly. They make it to the pub in about ten minutes. “I have to go in to get the rest of the group, you can stay here if you'd like, or you could join me,” Chan says as he hops out of the cart. “Oh, alright, I'll join you,” Woojin smiles and hops off the cart as well. “Chans back!!” Felix shouts as the rest of you look towards the door. Chan chuckles, “Hey Felix! Is everyone ready to go?” Felix looks around to everyone else and you all nod, “Seems so, let's go!” You all get up and pile into the cart, you sit as close to Felix as possible and lace your hand with his and he smiles. Woojin sits up in front with Chan and you smirk at them, which Chan doesn't see, but Felix does, as he follows your eyesight he sees how tense Chan is and slowly realises what you were talking about earlier.

You make you way out of town and head south from Silvermire, which is away from the forest. As you head away from the forest there begins to be less and less trees. After a small while Han pulls out a small flute and begins playing a little up beat song as Minho begins to sing along with him, it's a song about a pair of twins, a brother and a sister whose father left them and lost their mother at a young age, they grow up moving from place to place almost daily until they meet a ragtag group of people who take them in and become their family. The song ends with that and the rest of you smile and clap, “That was great! Minho! I didn't know you could sing!” You say excitedly as Han and Minho smile and bow their heads, “Well, when you spend so much time with this dork you learn some things,” Minho chuckles as Han elbows him in the side. You all laugh, “Hey, how long have you two known each other?” Changbin asks. “Oh, well, we've known each other for years now, we've kind of just been traveling from place to place, learning new songs, making different friends, it's a pretty good life,” Han says with a smile. Woojin looks back at the rest of you, “So are two like a couple or something then?” He asks and Minho begins laughing almost too hard and Han begins to blush ever so slightly which nobody notices, “You're hilarious!” Minho wipes a tear away still laughing as Han looks a little sad, but not enough where anyone notices. “No, we're not, we're just really good friends,” Minho continues to laugh a bit. “Well ok then…” Woojin chuckles seeing right through him and turns back around. He then taps on Chan’s shoulder, “Hey, you should let me drive, you've been at it for a while,” Chan shakes his head, “No no, I couldn't possibly-”

“Please? You look tired…” Woojin frowns a bit. Chan's heart skips a beat at the small pout on Woojin's face, “I- um-” Chan sighs, “alright, but if you start getting tired I won't hesitate taking back the reins.” Woojin chuckles, “Alright,” Chan hands him the reins and sits back as Han and Minho start a new song.

As it starts getting dark you all see the very edge of another forest, Woojin pulls the cart over to the very edge of it a few feet away from the road. You all hop out and start to set up camp. As you pull out a tent Jeongin speaks up, “Wait! I have a new spell! We won't need to sleep outside!” The rest of you stop, “Wait, what??” Felix asks. “Here,” Jeongin pulls out his wand and spell book, “stand back,” The rest of you step back as he speaks a cantrip and waves his wand and a large clear dome appears, it's about ten feet in diameter. You all stand there in awe as Jeongin smiles triumphantly. “You all can go in and out of it freely, it will keep any rain or other things out while we sleep! I also have a spell called alarm, so we won't need to stand watch!” Jeongin states as the rest of you poke in and out of the dome, “Jeongin this is amazing!!” Chan smiles brightly as he ruffles Jeongin's hair. Jeongin giggles, “Thank Changbin, he gave me the spell scrolls!” Changbin chuckles and rubs the back of his head, “Hey, it's the least I could do to say thanks for helping,”

You all move your things into the dome and set up your bed rolls. “Hey guys, I'm gonna go get some wood so we can make a fire,” you stand up and start heading to the forest, “Wait! I'm going with you!” Felix shouts as he runs to catch up to you. You smirk, “You know I don't need a bodyguard, right?”

“Oh don't start that again,” Felix chuckles as he follows you into the forest. “Hey Chan, shouldn't somebody go with them?” Chanbin asks as he ties the horses up to a nearby tree. Chan chuckles, “Nah, they're strong, they'll be fine if anything happens,”

“That's not what I was talking about…” Chan sits there for a second, “...Oh! Wait… do you know…?” Changbin laughs, “About them finally being a thing? Yeah, they told us right after you left to get Woojin,”

“Ah, ok good. But still, I trust them, they wouldn't pull anything… probably…”

Meanwhile in the forest, once you get to where you can barely see the campsite Felix grabs your wrist and pulls you close to him and you gasp at the sudden movement, once you realize it's just Felix you grin and move your hands to his waist. “I've missed you…” he says quietly, which gets you a little flustered because his voice is normally deep but right now it seems to have gone done a few octaves, which he definitely knows is messing with you. You clear your throat and recompose yourself, “What are you talking about? I've been with you all day,” you smirk knowing exactly what he's talking about. “You know what I mean,” he grins as he kisses you pulling you closer. You sigh into his mouth as you slowly move your hands up his chest and to his hair which makes him groan as he moves his hands to your waist and pushes you backwards up against a tree. You tilt your head to the side to deepen the kiss as you quickly move your hands to his waist and spin him around to where you're now pushing him up against the tree. He gasps and parts from you looking into your eyes wondering what just happened. You smirk and lean in to kiss him again as he tightens grip on your waist. You pull apart and he grins, “Ya know, I think I like this better,” You giggle, “Dork, come on, the guys are waiting for us,” you let go of him and start picking up wood for the fire. Felix just stands there up against the tree for a moment staring at you as you walk away, “Wow…” he sighs quietly.

A few minutes later the two of you make it back to the campsite laughing and poking at each other. “It took you long enough, we were starting to get cold,” Chan chuckles as the two of you set up a fire. “Hey, it takes a while to find enough wood,” Felix rolls his eyes as everyone sits around the fire. You cuddle up to Felix and Chan and Jeongin also cling to him making a big pile. The other four sit there a little confused before Chan grabs Changbin and pulls him in as he grabs Han and Minho pulling them with. Woojin just chuckles and sits to the side before you speak up, “Woojin, you know you can join the pile right?”

“Wouldn't that be a little weird…?” he asks. “Only if you make it weird,” you shrug. He thinks for a second, “Well, ok then, I'm always down for a cuddle pile!” He then glomps onto the pile somehow almost encompassing the whole group in a hug. You all sit like that for a few minutes before Jeongin speaks up, “Hey, do you two have any more stories of those twins?”

“Huh? Oh yeah!!” Han excitedly gets up breaking the pile, to get a small lute from his things. You all sort of end up separating a bit but you're still sitting pretty close, except you and Felix who are leaning up against each other with your hands entangled. Han begins playing a slower more ballad like song and begins singing as Minho slowly joins in. The song again is about the twins, but this time it's also about the people they met. The first is a very strong man who lived off the land with a group of unkind people, at a younger age he saved an elderly man from the groups hand and was beaten and shunned for it, the old man took him in and raised him as his own with his granddaughter who was the next member. She grew up to become a very strong cleric helping everyone and is loved by all, the two of them are extremely close. The next is a cunning bard who always lightens the mood with song and jokes, he is also infatuated with the young cleric who stays uninterested. Next is a young female druid on a journey to avenge her mother and become the leader of her people, she's a little flaky, but is one of the strongest members of the group. The last is an inventor who was practically royalty until his family was murdered and he was nearly killed and kicked from his own home, he made a deal with a devil to avenge his family. The rest of the song explains how they become very close helping each other achieve their goals. The song ends as everyone claps, “You two are so good! How many more stories if this group do you know?” Chan asks excitedly. “Thank you, there are many songs and stories of this group, they were legends in one of the countries I visited,” Han says proudly. “Whoa! You've been to other countries?!” Jeongin sits up excitedly. “Well of course! A bard gets around!” Han chuckles as Jeongin sits there amazed.

You all sit around the fire for about half an hour before you're all ready go to sleep and you all head into the dome. You and Felix obviously sleep next to each other, the rest of them sleep in random spots throughout the dome. After about ten minutes it begins to rain and you couldn't be happier that Jeongin learned this spell. You fall asleep to the sound of rain and Felix besides you.

Previous//Next//Beginning

11 notes · View notes

tcportfoliomgj · 3 years

Text

Saturday, 5th of June, 2021

"What demon possessed me that I behaved so well? - Henry David Thoreau (1854/2017)

In high school, I wasn't exactly a great student. Or easy, for that matter. Even in primary school, my teacher would call my parents after the first period. During parent-teacher conferences, they would schedule my mom in the last slot, that way they had enough time. I didn't have my diagnosis back then and I was smart enough to keep up without too much trouble. But I did talk back to teachers, especially when I felt they were being unjust. This only got worse in high school.

Before I got my ADHD diagnosis, my high school teachers thought I had ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). I can't blame them, though, especially looking back now. I was very argumentative, I still am, but I'm not always like that. When I felt like things were unfair, I wasn't able to let that go. I had a lot of very authoritarian teachers, who put themselves way above their students. Having authority is one thing, but that doesn't make you more of a person, or a better person, or a more important person. I didn't do well with those kinds of teachers, especially when they also taught a subject that I strongly disliked.

In high school I had a mathematics teacher, let's call him Mr E., who I didn't get along with very well. I never liked math. I wasn't particularly bad at it, but during the first few years of high school I didn't keep up with it very well, so I was behind compared to most students. Mr E. was the kind of teacher that would say things were easy, while I was really struggling with them. We didn't like each other much, and it kept getting worse over the years. It got to the point where he wasn't willing to help me anymore, and I wasn't willing to work anymore. I remember I once missed a class because I was sick and when I asked him to explain something I missed, he said no. He told me to look it up on YouTube and to deal with it myself. I also remember a time where I wasn't willing to do anything, we got into a big argument in front of the whole class and he sent me away. I packed my back, told the class "good luck in here in hell" on my way out and slammed the door shut.

Now, at teachers college, I often joke that I wasn't an exemplary student, but I don't think people realise how difficult I actually was. In my defence, there are still quite some cases I think I was right. I also don't regret standing up for myself against unfair teachers, I just didn't always go about it the right way. There were a lot of incidents in my high school days. I got sent out of class a lot, got a lot of detention and made quite a few enemies. But I wasn't a lost cause, even if Mr E. thought I was. I managed to pass my math exams, even though I stopped attending my math classes during my last year in high school. I was willing to work for teachers who did try their best for me. I loved English, history and art, and the teachers that taught me were very willing to help me, support me and encourage me. They challenged me and engaged me, and so I was very much willing to put in the effort and go the extra mile for them. I felt seen by them and that's all I really wanted, especially during those years in my life.

Mr E. wasn't the only teacher I had a rocky relationship with. My economics teacher, Mr B., didn't exactly get along with me either. He often got angry with me in front of the whole class when I forgot my books and notebooks. This happened a lot. I felt very humiliated, but I turned that into anger and frustration. He knew about my diagnosis and when I tried to explain to him that I really tried not to forget my things, he told me he understood but that I shouldn't forget them anymore. It infuriated me. I didn't feel understood, or seen or acknowledged. As an angsty teen who was dealing with depression on top of her ADHD, it was really hard.

I think almost everyone knows that I struggled with math this year as well and I will admit, I was part of the problem. However, I didn't plan on things turning out like this. As I mentioned before, I struggle with mathematics because there's a lot of gaps in my knowledge. The math classes here at TC and the PABO is mostly about teaching math and not so much about the math itself. It makes it interesting, but also difficult. Because how do you teach a subject you don't fully understand? Or maybe even barely understand? Janneke and Danny would talk about some math exercises for primary schoolers and I would struggle with them. They would say something along the lines of "they're being taught this in group 5" or "it's pretty easy", and in those moments I wanted the earth to swallow me whole. Because I didn't understand, because I struggled, because I felt really stupid. I didn't ask for help, that's definitely my fault, but I also didn't feel very encouraged to ask for help. Lots of students asked questions by sending them emails, and it often happened that Janneke and Danny didn't respond. I was frustrated, but I did try, even though everyone thinks I didn't.

I was at almost every lecture, which is the bare minimum, I know, but something that was actually very hard for me considering being there made me feel quite insecure. I tried to do the assignments. One of the first big assignments was the one where we had to give our own students some math questions without explaining anything to them. Afterwards, we'd have to analyse them. Giving the questions to my students wasn't hard and I didn't mind doing it, seeing some of their answers was really interesting and fun even (appendix 5). When I had to analyse them, however, I began to struggle. I don't hate math, but what frustrates me is that the class isn't very accessible. If you struggle with mathematics, the class will be really challenging.

One of the basic human needs is autonomy (Ryan & Deci, 2002, in Stevens & Bors, 2013, p. 73). However, in a way, autonomy can be seen as a paradox. If you tell a student to be independent and autonomous, and they obey, then they are in fact not being autonomous because they're doing what you told them to do. However, if they do not comply, they continue to be dependent on you. Mariani (1997) approached this subject very well and explains how teachers can promote autonomy. He explains that we need to challenge our students in order to answer their need for autonomy. We support them in order to answer their need for dependence. He then puts this in a framework.

Figure 2. Teaching Style Framework (Mariani, 1997)

The level of autonomy and dependence need to be balanced. A high level of challenge with a low level of support should be avoided. He recalls a moment where he experienced this himself and explains that "the result [...] was anxiety, insecurity, discomfort, and even aggressiveness - not to mention the long-term effect on my self-confidence" (Mariani, 1997). The ideal is a situation with a high level of challenge combined with a high level of support, this way we can create the zone of proximal development (Mariani, 1997). During the math classes, I find myself facing a high level of challenge with a lack of support, and later I discovered I wasn't alone.

I made the decision to not do the math assignments. First of all, I think the subject isn't relevant for quite a lot of students. When I asked my coach why we had math in the first place, she answered that it was mandatory because teachers college is part of the PABO. This isn't very motivating because knowing that it's mandatory doesn't explain why it is. Second of all, this tells us that it is in fact not very relevant for the students who know that they want to continue high school education instead of primary education. I was also told that they scaled up math since last academic year. This is because students in the craftsman phase were lacking knowledge and struggling. Again, this is not very relevant for the students who choose high school education. I understand that I made a choice to do TC, which means experience both levels of education, but we have a significantly high amount of math classes compared to a lot of other subjects.

Secondly, I think the way math is taught isn't in line with teachers college. This also relates to Mariani's framework. At TC we are taught to be better teachers, to support and motivate our students and to be open-minded. Our teachers also play a part in this. What I experience is that the teachers within the core team practice what they preach. I feel like my basic needs are met. I don't feel the same about math and I decided to create a survey (appendix 6). I asked TC students (of all years) to fill it in and 19 of them did. It's not a lot, so maybe not representative for all TC students, but I decided to stop promoting the survey when it caused some commotion (rumours were being spread that it was a survey to get rid of math altogether). But the results of the survey are still very interesting.

Seven out of nineteen students were TC1 students, the other twelve are TC2 or above. Almost all the higher years indicate that they didn't have any assignments or had small ones, but none that involved their internship or took multiple weeks to finish. Nine out of twelve higher years claim that they didn't experience math as stressful at all. Two students found the classes useful. Only one student felt like they had learned something, a few students are neutral in this, but most claim not to have learned much. Most higher years say they do not remember the theory that was taught to them, indicating that the classes weren't even lasting. When asked if they had further comments, many of them said they didn't find the classes meaningful, that they didn't see the value or that they don't remember much from the classes at all. It is clear that they were in one of the low challenge zones, making it either too easy (a low challenge with high support levels) or boring (a low challenge with low support levels).

Now if we take a look at the TC1 students, the answers shift. When asked what kind of assignments they had, they all answer with big assignments that stretched over multiple weeks as well as in-class assignments and presentation. On top of that, it is mandatory for the portfolio (this wasn't the case for the higher years). Five out of seven students experienced the workload as high, the other two were neutral. Six students claim they experienced stress, one is neutral. Some of them do claim to have learned something, or that they experienced it as useful, but I think it's important to remember that for TC1, my year, it is mandatory for our portfolio and so there's more at stake. The workload that TC1 experienced indicated that we're in the high challenge zones. The stress experienced indicated a lack of support, putting us in the anxiety zone.

What did we, as students, do to change this? At first, not a lot, at least not as a collective effort. I know a lot of students email Janneke and Danny with questions or stayed behind after online class but often didn't get answers or help. They experienced low support. When we did come forward as a class, some of us still did not feel seen, or heard. We had a conversation with Janneke and Danny and I experienced it as very frustrating. Just like Mariani (1997), I experienced anxiety, discomfort, insecurity and a level of aggression, the same way I did in high school with Mr E. and Mr B. I felt ready to throw my stuff into my bag and walk out of that room, but I didn't.

Maybe it's closed-minded to not do the math assignments, maybe it even shows a level of disrespect. At the end of the day, I passed my mandatory math test (wiscat) (appendix 7), I learned and did just as much as the students last year (who also passed math) and I refuse to be put in a zone of anxiety when I'm learning, especially when I'm learning how to be a supportive teacher myself.

🎵 ZITTI E BUONI - Måneskin

#critical thinking #pedagogisch bekwaam #didactisch bekwaam #vakinhoudelijk bekwaam #math #communication #character

0 notes