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tommysparker · 3 years

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Never Forget You [Chapter 1]

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Jedi!Reader

A/N: here’s the first official chapter! thank you so much for the support this series as already gotten. chapters will be posted every Saturday! enjoy :)

Warnings: angst. fluffy flashbacks. this isn’t even the worst of it mwhaha. paragraphed italics = flashback

[10 YEARS LATER]

The sky was as blue as his eyes. Not as dark and cloudy, but gave the same feeling of hope, peacefulness, and comfort. You could picture them vividly in your mind, even the small crinkle at the edges and the kindness they held, a warmness that matched your current aurora.

The two of you sat in the gardens for what felt like hours, deep in meditation. Your force signatures quickly became entangled with one another, your bond radiating around you, creating almost a shield bubble between the rest of the world and the two who sat inside.

Obi-Wan was the first to open his eyes, having never been one to sit still for long periods of time. He’s improved since he was a youngling, but still had a long way to go.

You, on the other hand, looked completely invested in your meditation. Your face was relaxed, although every now and then your eyebrows would furrow as you tried to maintain concentration. It was hard when a certain other was very distracting, even if he wasn’t aware of it.

“I can feel you staring,” you said, eyes still closed. Obi-Wan was thankful for that fact because it means you wouldn’t see him blush in embarrassment from getting caught.

“I can feel you blushing, too.” This time, you opened your eyes and smiled. “I knew you wouldn’t last long.” Anytime the two of you tried to meditate together, it would always end with Obi-Wan getting bored and asking to duel instead.

He quickly hid his face, pulling the hood of his robe over his head. “I’m not blushing, that’s childish.”

You giggled, leaning forward to lift the front of his hood. “Obi-Wan, you are the most childish person I know.”

The young man was about to protest before you hushed, eyes already closed once more as you returned to your deep state of awareness.

You opened your eyes and sighed, long and deep.

Standing up from the cold floor of your room, you looked out the window and gazed at the cloudy sky of Gyfill. The air felt chilly from the lack of life-forms in the area. After your first week on the planet, you decided it was a safer idea to seek shelter away from town. Considering your mission was to spy on the local Separatist groups, keeping a low profile was essential.

Today was different, however. The same cold and dull atmosphere were present, but the future is what held the divergent. For today, was the day you were finally to return home.

Home. The word itself felt familiar but distant. As a Jedi, you trained to hold little sentimental value. Attachments were forbidden, a path to the dark side. They provoked fear. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.

Once your bag of belongings was packed, you made your way to the marked location someone from the Jedi council sent earlier that morning. Mentally, you were not prepared to see everyone again. After being isolated for years and having limited contact with any life form outside of business, the many faces from your time at the Temple became slightly blurry. Except for his.

Obi-Wan Kenobi was on his way to the Archives when he bumped into Ahsoka Tano.

“Oh, Master Kenobi! Perfect, I was about to go look for you.”

“Ahsoka,” he smiled. “What can I do for you?”

“Who’s Y/n Y/l/n?”

Obi-Wan froze. The sound of that name echoed in his mind, paired with memories that he had locked away in the back of his mind. “Well...that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time,” was all he could manage to say, still trying to process all the past recollections that suddenly surfaced.

“So, you know them?”

“Uh, yes I suppose so. We were...close as younglings and trained together as Padawans. They were...the most skilled Jedi I ever had the pleasure of knowing, almost as good as Master Yoda.”

“If they’re so great, how come I never heard of them before?” Ahsoka tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, resting a hand on her hip in classic ‘Ashoka manner’,

“They were sent away on an important mission years ago as far as I know. Er, why do you ask? And how did you come to know of that name?”

“Oh right. Anakin said the Chancellor told him that Master Y/l/n was returning today. He told me to ask you about it.”

Once again, Obi-Wan’s world paused.

He stood across from you, trying to maintain a neutral expression as he watched you load your bags onto the ship. However, you knew him better than that.

You walked up to the young boy and he took in your appearance. Gone was the braid that draped over your shoulder. Gone were the long robes you liked to hide in, in their place was a heavy jacket that looked like it was built to keep out the cold. Perhaps you were going to Hoth?

“Obi, you know I can’t tell you where I’m going. Master Windu was strict about his instructions,” You sighed, sensing your friend trying to deduce as much as he could. Your Master was very clear when he told you how classified the mission was. No one can know, especially Obi-Wan.

“Can you at least say how long you’ll be gone?” He practically begged, wanting something, anything he could get to keep his hope alive. Hope that you'll return soon. Hope that you weren’t truly leaving him.

You looked away, staring at the towers and passing hover-vehicles that littered the planet you’ve grown up on. “I don’t know.”

Everything had happened so suddenly. You were called into the council room that day to hear the news every Padawan dreams of. When Master Windu said you were ready for the trials, the first thing you went to do was tell Obi-Wan. The two of you celebrated that night in the gardens, a moment you would treasure for the rest of your life. Soon after you gained the title of Jedi Knight, you were once again called into the Jedi Council room to be debriefed on your first mission as a proper Jedi. You didn’t want to mess this up. You couldn’t.

Obi-Wan resists the urge to pull you into a hug and never let you go, instead opting to hold your shoulders and give you his signature charming smile. “Be safe, darling.”

You smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes. You held his wrist, bringing his knuckles to your lips and pressed a hesitant kiss to them before pushing them to his side. “May the force be with you.”

There was no pet name at the end, no ‘my friend’ or even his own name. It was a sentence that was meant to bring comfort, but the way you phrased it, the edge in your voice, made Obi-Wan feel everything but comforted.

He didn’t get the luxury of responding, for all he did was blink and suddenly you were on the ship, taking off into the clear blue sky.

You gazed at the clouds passing by as the ship flew into Coruscant’s atmosphere. The bright light and sunny day was a harsh change from the grey sky that fell over Gyfill. The energy emitting off of all the life-forms gave you a headache. You felt the Force all around you, swirling in the air and penetrating your soul. It was like a breath of fresh air after drowning for over a decade.

You flinched at the light as the door opened, suddenly feeling like a hermit crawling out of its shell. Slowly walking out of the ship, you pulled the cloak hood over your head, inhaling the strange but familiar scent of the Jedi Temple. You were still wearing your Gyfill civilian attire, the wool fabric made the Coruscant heat much more intense causing a few beads of sweat to form on your forehead. Or was it just the nerves of seeing all the people you left behind?

Master Windu stood at the end of the drop door, a smile on his face at the sight of his former Padawan. It was an occasion that called for a little joy, a moment to celebrate outside the war that raged through the galaxy.

You descended down the ramp, taking in a sharp breath at the feeling of another force sensitive. “Master Windu”. You bowed your head and he did the same to you.

“Master Y/l/n, it’s great to see you in person rather than as a hologram.”

You both chuckled lightly. “The feeling is mutual, Master. It’s...it’s good to be back.” Your eyes wandered over the people that roamed about. Jedi Masters walked with their Padawans at their side. Distant memories resonated within you. Some time ago that was once you and your Master, the man who stands before you know who has grown significantly older. Then again, so have I, you thought to yourself.

Unbeknownst to you, you weren’t the only one registering your growth. Obi-Wan stood behind a pillar, glancing over the hanger in search of a familiar face. He was aware it would not be the same face he knew as a young boy, but he certainly was not prepared for what he saw.

You look older, which was the obvious and expected observation. He noted how you wrapped yourself in your cloak, similar to how you would in your youth. You stood tall in front of Master Windu, another trait you had kept since your days as a Padawan. He remembered how you would always act mature in the presence of Masters, something he never really understood until becoming a Jedi Knight. The need for approval by the superiors was a constant.

It wasn’t just your appearance that had changed either. He could feel it in the Force. There was a shift in it when you had landed that made an excited yet nervous chill run down his spine. You were stronger and held more control in your signature.

Before, he remembers being able to feel it from across the Temple. Now, it was barely there. He remembers feeling your bond drift farther as he watched you leave, and how it had dimmed over the years you were gone. He remembers the pain that tortured him every night as he laid awake in bed, trying to reach out across the stars but only being met with the vast emptiness of space. There was something in him that broke the first time he slept without having a tendril of your force signature connected with his. He felt cold, resorting to sleeping in his Master’s quarters in an attempt to ease the loneliness.

Overall, it would appear that nothing about you had changed, and yet it seemed everything was different. Almost everything.

His eyes were just as blue as the last time you saw them. They looked tired, haunted by the ongoing war but still filled with determination. Classic Obi-Wan.

You quickly broke eye contact the moment it was made, but that one second was more than enough for Obi-Wan to get lost in the familiar colour. His favourite colour in fact, not that he would ever admit you had any part in the decision.

“Master Obi-Wan?”

He jumped at the sound of a voice and suddenly became aware of the presence right next to him, that presence belonging to none other than Master Yoda.

“Master Yoda! I er I was just...uh...looking...for Anakin! Yes, uh have you seen him around by any chance?” Obi-Wan quickly tried to cover his stutter, feeling embarrassed about getting caught gazing from afar. Not that Master Yoda would know he was looking at you...right?

“I see,” the little green creature smirked in amusement. “Whatever it is, wait it can. Council meeting about to begin there is.”

Obi-Wan furrowed his eyes. Typically he was able to keep a good track of the meetings, but this was news to him. “What’s it about?”

“Master Y/l/n.”

“Hmm?” You hummed absentmindedly.

“Are you listening?” Master Windu raised an eyebrow.

“Oh uh, my apologies Master. I’m just...readjusting.” You tried to focus your attention on what Master Windu was saying, but the recognition of his presence made it difficult. For years, you tried to forget about him. You ignored the empty feeling in your stomach at night, the thoughts and memories that plagued your dreams. After some time, they eventually began to fade but never forgotten. It was for the best.

Master Windu crossed his arms. “There will be plenty of time for that after your debrief of the mission. Master Yoda and the rest of the council await.”

Oh, Force, not the council.

You would never dare to admit or even show it, but the council and being in the council room had always intimidated you. How could it not? You had to stand in the center of all the best Jedi of that era while they stare at you, judging you, sitting high and mighty in those stupid chairs.

“This way, my old Padawan.”

You followed Master Windu through the large halls of the Jedi Temple. You masked the nervousness that was no doubt radiating from your force signature. A multitude of thoughts ran through your mind, good and bad. Worst case scenario, you had done something so wrong that you were about to be kicked out of the Jedi Order. Nothing came to mind when you tried to think of any offence you had committed in the recent weeks since you earned the title of Jedi Knight.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of the large council room doors opening, the creaking of the hinges made you cringe slightly.

The room was ominously lit, the only light source being the setting sun shining through the glass windowed walls. Master Yoda sat in his seat. All the other chairs were empty.

Master Windu took his seat as you stood before the two of them. He could see the questions rise from your confused facial expression. “Everything we discuss in this room stays between us, young Jedi.”

You nodded, inhaling and exhaling slowly in an attempt to calm yourself. “Master Windu, Master Yoda. What is this about? Have I done something wrong?”

The two men looked at each other and shared an unreadable expression before turning back to you. Master Yoda was the first to speak. “Sending you on a mission we are. To Gyfill you will go.”

Whatever anxieties that you held before were washed away with this information. You contain your excitement, but the sudden mood shift was still noticeable. “Who am I going with? When do we leave? What’s the mission for?” It was rare that a Jedi would be sent on a mission alone, typically you were partnered up for safety measures. Obi-Wan’s face flashed in your mind, and although it was unlikely, a small part of you hoped he would be going with you.

“This mission only requires one Jedi. There’s a Separaist organization on the planet and we’re sending you to gain intel and report back to us. No one outside of this room can be aware of this information. You leave within the week. Understood?”

You frowned, “Forgive me Master, but why can’t anyone know?” The idea of having to leave your home seemingly without a trace made you iffy. Obi-Wan once again appeared in your mind.

Master Windu and Yoda exchanged a look before Windu responded almost hesitantly. “We have reason to believe someone in the Order is a traitor, and the number of people who are trustworthy is very limited.”

“You mean someone has betrayed us?” You asked in shock. How could anyone do such a thing? And a Jedi nonetheless.

“Time to answer your questions, there will be, young one. Prepare for your first mission now, you must.” Master Yoda said. “Prepare to say goodbye you should.”

It was as IF he could read your mind, which he probably could. You dreaded the idea of saying goodbye, especially when it was clear that there was no guarantee of your return date. How would you explain to your friends that you won’t be around anymore? What will Obi-Wan think?

“That is another subject that needs to be discussed.”

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what else needs to be discussed? who’s the traitor? how will obi-wan and y/n get on after all this time? lemme know what you think!!

taglist: @queenariesofnarnia @dwarfplanet69 @katsukink @blondekel77 @generousrunawaydonut @fandomtrashwhore @fortheloveofaqueenfan @mrskenobi19 @mellowstatesmanhandsempath @hotleaf-juice

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viviisonline · 3 years

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a gift to you: bellflowers - mammon x GN!MC

Word Count: 1287

Genre: Tiniest bit of angst, comfort, fluff

It was a long day. A very long day. It had started raining while you were at work and you forgot an umbrella. There were one too many rude customers to count and when you came back home there was nothing to do but sulk in your small apartment. It was quiet, and it was lonely. You had said goodbye to the brothers a little over 9 months ago, and it had been going okay since you were able to keep your D.D.D to keep in touch. It seems that God had other plans though. Your D.D.D ended up breaking two months ago due to a stumble you had taken while coming home from work. You parked in your apartment complex's lot and was about to head in when a biker zoomed past you, catching you off guard and causing you to fall hard to the concrete. The fall broke your D.D.D and it's wasn't like there were many places that could fix it.

You fumbled with your keys remembering the upsetting event and opening the door. The bag from your hand was quickly dropped on the ground, your hair was let down and the jacket you were wearing to protect you from the wind outside was discarded. It didn't feel the same as coming home to the House of Lamentation, but the apartment was as close to home and comfort that you could get. If you were able to summon any of the brother's you would've but with the cut contact and Solomon's busy schedule, it just wasn't possible. While you would've been fine with anybody, there was an obvious ache that sunk deeper whenever you thought about about a certain white haired demon.

Really, you only thought of him.

The way he smelled like the sun despite there being no sun in the devildom.

The smile he had on his face whenever you walked in a room.

How he'd hug you after a long day.

How you'd embrace him when he was having a hard time.

It's just not fair. He's always in your head, and sometimes you wonder whether you're ever in his just as much.

It's fine though. In a little over 3 months you'd be able to see him again, and wake up in the same house as him. Eat at the same table as him, and see the same sky that he is. At this point, you'd think yourself obsessed with the second born. You'd normally be embarrassed and flustered now that you caught yourself thinking about him but you were just too drained and too tired. Memories of him and his brothers popped into your head every once in a while when you changed and prepared dinner, they had distracted you so much that you hadn't noticed the new vase on your counter until you got a plate. Quirking an eyebrow you made your way to it. You took a look at the flowers and found an envelope stuck under the decoration. The flowers were a beautiful blueish purple shade and they took the shape of church bells. Moving the vase, you took the envelope in your hand, not letting the shiny golden seal go unnoticed. There was nothing written on it so you could only assume the contents. You sat down at the table and pushed your food aside, making space to open it. The seal easily slid off and you pulled out the paper inside. When you opened it you noticed the whole jumble of words and scribbles, also noting the familiar handwriting. It already made you smile and you haven't read a word yet. Letting out an audible laugh and closing your eyes, you sighed and started to read the letter.

Hey MC,

It’s me, Mammon. I really miss ya It's been a little while, so I wanted to check up on ya. Not sure why ya stopped contacting us, I'm sure it's not big deal but I've been really anxious thinking about ya I just thought I'd make sure you're safe. Wouldn't want Lucifer getting mad if something happened to ya before the program was complete yeah?

*a large paragraph of scribbled out words*

Okay...I really can't keep this up. I'm dyin ya know? How could you leave me high and dry like that... I've been thinking of ya. Everyday. All the damn time actually. Just wondering where you've been, and why you haven't been responding. I keep telling myself that you're okay and that I'll get to see ya in a few months but- that's not enough. You know me. I'm greedy and I need more, so if you get this, and you're not tryna ignore me maybe- send a call sometime? Or a letter just, something. Please. I'm beggin ya.

Everyone else is worried too ya know. Lucifer acts like he doesn't care, but he's stressed he can't make the time to find ya. Levi's been more shut in ever since you left so can't imagine how he's actin now that you've been...away. Satan and Asmo have been actin pretty normal, but behind closed doors- MC you wouldn't believe it if I told ya. Beel And Belphie are waiting too. Ya can't leave them hanging like that right?

But hey, never forget that I'm your first man, and I'll be thinking of ya more than the others. Swear by it. If something happened to ya... I don't know what I'd do, so I just hope that you get this. And in good condition too. I'd hate it if something happened and I wasn't there to help or protect ya.

You did so much for me ya know? I'm just, so grateful. That I have someone like you in my life. I'm missin ya more by the day MC. Help me out yeah? Just send a word in, maybe look out for my crows. I'm sure they're our there somewhere maybe give them a pat on the head.

MC you're okay right? I'm okay if you are. So, be okay for me. Being away from you like this made me realize how lucky I was to have just met you. Well that's a lie, I knew the day I made that pact with ya. Each time you'd help me out, comfort me, or even just smile. You really mess with me ya know that? I can't have ya do that if you're not around...so, hurry back to me huh? I can't be holding my arms out forever- but I will. Even if you don't come back to them, they'll always be out. Only for you MC. I love ya, and I can't wait to hear back from ya.

Your Mammon

P.S.

Ah by the way, I forgot to mention. I sent some flowers. Barbatos helped me pick them out. They're Bellflowers, he said something about them representing gratittude, affection and... everlasting love. Take care of them yeah?

They're pretty, but not as beautiful as you are.

Now that was pretty cheesy wasn't it?

The paper was wet. You'd thought for a brief second that maybe the table or your hands were wet, but once you came to your senses you felt the tears streaming down your face. You closed your eyes tight, hold the letter gently to your chest, whispering a quick "I love you too Mams" before completely breaking down. That was the most you'd cried in weeks, that empty feeling you had left all together. With the strength left you ignored the now cooled down food on the table and made your way to your room finding some stationary you picked up a pen.

Now you obviously couldn't leave him hanging after that.

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Obey Me Masterlist (unfinished)

#fanfic #obey me #shall we date obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me brothers #fluff #mammon x reader #om! mammon #gn!mc #mammon obey me #loving mammon moments #obey me letters #mammoney #mammon avatar of greed

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anapologethicc · 2 years

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hello gorgeous i was listening to my playlist scrolling through your blog and this came up and it made me so happy and warm inside and also the timing!! because it's so much a song made especially to serenade you so i thought i'd let you know :*

https://open.spotify.com/track/2uwZSBvQer73esf6tV1wQG?si=3lGBw1S_REeqWxQRxqsOuw&utm_source=copy-link

also how are you

ADHEERA IM- i’m just crying. i haven’t cried this much in a while. ok deep breath.

my love. i keep saying we have a love-hate relationship. and i really do hate how loved you’ve made me feel. the dear zindagi album is very close to my heart for many reasons.(most due to crying reasons)

BUT THIS SONG. HAISH!! the lyrics?!?!!??! really?? you really think I, ME, I deserve to be serenaded by this song. THIS SOFT SONG ABOUT SABKE KE DILO MEIN BASNE WALI AND HOSH UDAANE WALI?!?!?!?!

खामोश दिल न जोर से धड़कना

दिखा ना जाए हाय

उसे तेरा तड़पना

<- SOMEONE THINKS THAT ABT ME!! okyesplsidie but I’M STILL CRYING. i can’t stop. i’m still listening to it on repeat. i have ever since i started writing the answer to this. thank you my love for making me feel so so loved. so so special and just i’m feeling all fluttery and lovely right now. YOU. you’ve made me so so happy. you’ve given me a wonderful gift. one that i’m going to cherish for a very very long time. i take anything dedicated to me very very seriously <3

i can’t even answer how i am. before this. i was dying under the pressure of schoolwork and now. i’m floating on air. i’m OVERWHELMED WITH LOVE BABE. i feel like i’m on the clouds wrapped in a warm blanket of love!!! i love love love you!!! so so much. (sorry i’m gonna hijack this ask with my sentiments underneath:) it's very long i hope it’s okayy)

okay i need to control my crying first. but. ohmygod. would you believe me if i said nobody has ever dedicated a song to me like this? in fact for years. i was THAT friend you know. i would send my friends songs and write long paragraphs telling them exactly why they deserved to have every single line in the song written about them. i would write cards whenever i could. i was the friend who would make scrapbooks for my friends, i would buy empty drawing books and fill them with pictures and words, so many words and give them as birthday gifts. it was my favourite thing to do and their reactions were everything to me. i would make all the pinterest "diy gifts for your bff". if there's one on there, i've made every single one. from 52 cards on why i love you to those big letters they build filled with pictures. i was that friend who would go out shopping with my mom and end up buying something a friend once mentioned. i once did an entire birthday video diary for my best friend, you know the ones where you get everyone to say a few words about the person yeah.

it annoyed my mother to no extent that i was so giving, she kept telling me that i was the only one who did these things. but like any other rebellious child, i never listened. and i did it all. my last present to my best friend was a charm bracelet. you know the ones they have in pandora. well. i didn't have the money. so i went to the diy markets here. i bought all the material. i bought the bracelet. i got the charms, the rings. i put everything together, wrote about what every single charm meant to me. i asked her about it a few weeks after her birthday and she said it was too heavy and broke. she never even wore it. she was my best friend. i'd known her since kindergarten. 15 years of friendship. gone. in a few months. she went to uni and made a entirely new group of friends. and eventually everyone else also drifted away from me. and here i was with so many memories and so many leftover souvenirs that i'd kept from over the years, pictures and notes and cards and little trinkets. i kept everything and it just hurt more looking at all these things around my room.

and i've always felt so so strongly about friendships. and it hurt so much when my closest friends of so many years. most of them i'd known for more than 6 years. they'd all just discarded me. so easily. i spent most of 2020-2021 hating myself. trying to figure out why i wasn't enough, why i was so easy to leave. i found it immensely hard to trust anyone after all that. i just. it filled me with so much anxiety that i could share parts of myself with someone and they could just decide to up and leave and just not want me anymore. they'd just leave with parts of me, i spent so many years so carefully building. i completely isolated myself. i was starting uni and i HATED the idea of people or even making new friends, of meeting new people. i came onto tumblr because i needed something different to focus on for once in my life. i didn't plan on making friends honestly. i just. i think i just craved company of some kind.

up until a few months ago i was a complete fucking cynic about everything. i'd given up on people. i'd just stuck with the idea that everyone was selfish. i was stuck on the idea that i would never be enough for anyone. if even after doing so much, everyone left. then there must've been something wrong with me. i would look at people with their friends and scoff. i was a sad and bitter person.

and then i came here. and i don't think i've ever made friends this fast in my entire life. people just accepted me. not only that. i don't think i'd felt that loved in a long fucking time. like a really long time. and i’d ask someone how they were and they would respond with an “i love you”. i don’t think i’ve ever had that phrase said to me that many times in my whole life as much as i’ve had it said to me on here. and the most heart warming part is that they mean it, they don’t have any reason to lie to me. i always thought online friends were something other people had. and right now. i’m overwhelmed with the love i have for everyone i consider a friend on here. overwhelmed to the point where i can’t stop crying right now. because i honestly was terrified to the core that i would never find friends ever again. that i wasn’t worthy or deserving of that in my life anymore because i’d fucked it all up once already. that the universe had decided to punish me for not being good enough and decided that i was gonna be alone. and i’m so so so fucking grateful and thankful for everyone here. oh god i can’t stop crying.

but this is just a thanks to @stylinsuns @thosefookinavacados @blehhsin @littlegenderbean @quickpauseinconversations <3 i haven’t always been this bad with words ahahah. i feel like i’m all over the place. and honestly. i was much much better with them. but thank you for making me feel so loved. you guys will never fully understand what it has done for me. i can’t even put it into words. i mean i tried at new years’ but i’ve always believed that you can never thank anyone or tell anyone you love them enough. thank you for making me fall in love with friendship. thank you for making me fall in love with handmade cards again hehe. thank you for making me believe in humanity again. thank you for taking care of me. thank you for checking up on me. thank you for loving me for the past couple of months. thank you for listening. thank you for trusting me. thank you for being there. thank you for being my friend. and most importantly. thank you for helping me believe that “i am enough” especially on days when i don’t feel like it. thank you for loving me because of it all and not in spite. thank you for everything <3

ever since i’ve met you all, i wake up everyday feeling a little less lonely, my cracked heart a little more filled with love. i don’t feel scared about sharing parts of myself because i know you all take wonderful care of all the little parts of me, just as i do for you. i know that everyone is not completely alright, somedays it hurts a little too much still. but everyday, every little conversation, every virtual hug, every kiss, everything adds up to make the little pieces of thread sewing my broken heart back up. i’m healing, day by day, and i’m very very thankful and immensely happy to have you all by my side as i do so. i love you <333

#i think i'm finally all cried out #it's midnight now #i've been trying to type this up for over an hour now #sorry for hijacking ur ask adheera #but i just #i'm feeling overwhelmed by love <3 #and i haven't felt that in so long #i'm warm and i'm smiling and i'm happy #and i will cherish this forever #i love you sm adheera <3 #you are so precious to me #adheera💕#inbox #(i love you guysss)#i'm tired from all the crying and will now go sleep :)#g'night my loves💖

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savagetrickster · 4 years

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Crushing on You (HCs) | BNHA

Request: First of All, i love your navigation its really unique :) Then mhhh what i wanted to request are just some headcanons about shoto (and other characters u like) in which they get really soft zu their crush or s/o, just some fluffy things that come to your mind when u think about it uwu !and dont stress yourself with anseering this request, take ur time!

anime | character(s): bnha | todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki

word count: 1.9k+

a/n: thank you anon, it took me a really long time to make my current navigation; glad you liked it! sorry for the delay, i’ve been trying to squeeze in writing time between my work schedules and finally managed to complete this as well. Whew! i expanded a little more on your requests while trying not to go off-track hahah! also, i really want to add more characters but time could allow me to write for these two. hope you like my take on how they would behave regarding their crushes! i kinda rushed through this piece so the sentences may not string well together hahah and there may be some errors; it’s not beta-ed.

How did he find out about his crush on you?

Shouto is as smart as a pile of bricks when it comes to anything that isn’t…well, hero stuff? So when he harbored special feelings for you at the start, he wasn’t aware of that. Completely oblivious and hilariously dense about it.

The first few times his heart raced and his cheeks grew warm in your presence, he didn’t make the connection between these and you. He went to see the doctor thinking there was something wrong with his heart and was the reason why his face would feel warm. Nights before his appointment at the hospital, he couldn’t sleep.

It turned out that everything was fine; his heart is perfectly healthy. So the next thing he thought, making a connection to you - is he allergic to you? Or did you have some sort of secondary quirk you kept secret?

Often, he found his eyes gravitating to you, like you were some kind of magnet. You were the first thought he wakes up to and the last before he went to sleep. There were times he felt oddly possessive of you when you talked with the guys.

Despite all these, none of these made him realize his feelings for you. He passed them off as curiosity since you were the only one who made him feel strange.

He only found out why when he shared his suspicion about you - is he allergic to you? Or did you have some sort of secondary quirk you kept secret? - with Midoriya, particularly the latter.

How does Shouto behave around you after his realization? All the years growing up the way he did, having a crush on someone was foreign and bizarre to him. Knowing only quirk-related and hero whatnots with limited social interactions in his maturation years, he was…afraid. Afraid of his own feelings for you. He has no idea what to do and couldn’t face you without accidentally coming off as ‘curt and cold’ to you. He avoided you like you were the plague; he couldn’t help it - he felt like he could combust into flames (lol) from how much you made him blush.

You had always enjoyed Shouto’s company and admired his talents as a hero, sharing an amicable connection with him despite not being in his circle with Midoriya and the rest. You liked him. Liked him too much.

So when he was suddenly blunt and cold to you + very obviously avoiding you, your heart broke.

The day you confronted him out of frustration and with a broken heart, he realized how wrong he was to act like this.

>> a short fic based on the paragraphs above is coming soon!

He didn’t want to hurt you because of his own fears. He apologized to you but decided to keep his feelings for you a secret from you - the last thing you two needed a distraction like this when you should be focusing on forging your paths as heroes.

As he promised, he suppressed his feelings and maintained (struggled to) the way he was with you; simply friends.

But he definitely has a soft spot for you.

He has developed an overprotective streak for you; his eyes were always on you.

he’s always the first to react if you were in danger. And if there were any stimulation exercises with the class, he would be adamant about staying near you, asking whoever who is on your team to switch with him (of course, without you knowing)

He is very attentive about what you liked or disliked. Taking notes in his head like it was his duty.

there was a time when he overheard a discussion between the girls and you, gushing about the types of clothes you girls like to see on a guy. Taking interest in what you like, he eavesdropped and heard you like pullovers on guys. And on the very next day, he bought himself a few, of course using his Endeavor’s credit card, and wore them as soon as they were ready to worn.

He takes very good care of you and is always concern. Too concerned for a mere friend. He is always there to catch you in case you fall.

menstrual cramps? one day, he walked into the lounge of Class 1-A dormitory and found you clutching onto your stomach, obviously in discomfort and pain despite already taken a pain killer for your cramps. You desperately needed a heat pad to help ease the shit your uterus had to put you through every month.

at first he had thought about using his fire quirk to help you but quickly scratch that idea because he knew he didn’t have that kind of control to not hurt you by accident. The only solution is to get you a water bottle of warm water which loses its temperature pretty quickly. from then, he made it his goal to obtain superb control over his fire quirk, even to the extent of asking Endeavor for help in refining his control just for you. So that the next month when you had to go through the same pain, he was ready to use his fire quirk to relieve your discomfort.

fever? shouto caught onto news that you caught a bad cold and were down with a high fever. You laid in the darkness of your room, feeling feverish and your body was burning up. that day, he spent the whole night in your room, tending to you the best he could. Pressed his hand to your burning forehead, ice quirk activated; cool enough to make you sigh but not too cold to freeze you by accident - having only used his ice side growing up, his control is excellent. somehow he ended up holding you, cuddling your feverish head to his body on your bed, regularly activating his ice side to keep his body cool.

When he thinks about his future after graduation, he always include you. In fact, you are part of a much, much bigger picture in the future he envisioned.

it is in his plan to confess to you after graduation. he already knew enough about you, having paid attention and staying near you throughout after he found out that you were special to him. over time, his crush on you wasn’t as simple anymore. Something stronger and more permanent was beginning to bloom in his heart as he continued to safeguard you and watch over you like a silent guardian.

Get ready to adopt he name ‘Todoroki’ in the future ‘cause he’s pretty determined to take things further with you. First, his girlfriend and of course his wife and the mother of his children.

How did he find out about his crush on you?

I would like start Bakugou’s part right off the bat by saying that the expression you see in the heading^ made for him is exactly how he would react once he realized he has a crush on you.

Bakugou here looks like he is in disbelief (as if having such feelings was absurd), bewildered and irked. Yes, damn right he will be irked. He finds harboring such feelings for you or in fact, anyone unnecessary, ridiculous and stupid. He didn’t have time for such a thing.

Bakugou isn’t as dense as Shouto about this sort of things; if he did find his heart pounding around you, he’s sharp enough to know that you had an effect on him and suspect that he has feelings for you, but this doesn’t mean he is going to acknowledge it. He would dismiss it quickly and move on to more important stuff like his goals. One day, he grew really jealous and extremely irritated when he saw two seniors hitting on you while he was on his way to class after lunch with Kirishima and Denki. Surprisingly, he handled the situation pretty calmly despite how irritated he is. He walked forward, speeding up ahead of Kirishima and Denki and smoothly tugged you away from the persistent upperclassmen with a firm but gentle grip around your bicep.

From that incident, Kirishima and (sorry Kirishima is probably pretty dense about this sort of things but of course no one could beat Shouto in this area lol) Denki being a rather perceptive guy when it came to matters of the heart, was quick to pick up on Bakugou’s crush on you. Bakugou kind of grudgingly acknowledge his feelings for you that day. Was it because his friends being pushy, constantly teasing him about it? Or was it witnessing that upsetting scene you were in?

Maybe both? But that did not mean he was going to act on it. He is still pretty stubborn about remaining unbothered about this “useless, pointless sentiment”, quoted Bakugou pretty often to his friends. How does Bakugou behave around you? Bakugou Katsuki is a freaking kuudere - i.e. a character who is often cold, blunt, and cynical. They may seem very emotionless on the outside, but on the inside they’re very caring — at least when it comes to the ones they love. Though he deems his feelings for you a “useless, pointless sentiment”, it has become a second nature to him to worry about you regardless of how adamant he is about “not giving a fuck about you” as he had gruffly said to shut his friends up.

He becomes subtlysoft!Bakugou around you.

he is rather toned-down and mature when it comes to you. his explosive (haha) temperament is milder and he exhibits bits of gentlemen traits around you.

his brash, rough voice softens when he talks to you without him realizing. He is more patient and calmer around you than the rest of his classmates or even his closest friends like Kirishima. he rarely yells at you and addresses you by your name, and not insults he typically used on others e.g. extras, nerd, idiot.

He is protective.

he is always quick on his feet in getting you out of sticky situations most of the time. tied to being subtlysoft!Bakugou in my previous point (duh), he demonstrated his ability to be cool-headed and efficient when he got you out of the situation with the two upperclassmen.

sometimes if he could in stimulation exercises, he would be try to get you to come along whenever he went on his own way with Kirishima and Denki.

“stay close.” he would mutter in a grudging gruff tone as he bashfully tug you along, away from the rest of the class as we all know he always do in the canon.

He is rather thoughtful and considerate when it’s you.

once you didn’t turn up for school and he kept glancing over at your empty desk, concerned. he found out that you were down with a bad cold and was being taken care of by Recovery Girl in the infantry. Exams were just two weeks away so he secretly took down notes for you.

When you recovered, he made fun of Kirishima’s “shitty grades” and somehow managed to get Kirishima to start a study session with you included; his main motive was so he could help you catch up without you learning about his true intentions. (kuudere much, Bakugou -__-)

you are a priority, and eventually a goal as well.

as bakugou matures alongside you and Class 1A through the years, he will gradually accept that life isn’t only about hero stuff, being number one or putting that stupid nerd Izuku in his fucking place. (i love midoriya okay, this is just bakugou being bakugou hahah) Or at least he didn’t want his life to be merely about all that. You were also his goal, in fact, one of his biggest goals. He isn’t exactly a big fan of screeching little spawns of the devils but he could live with it if they were part of a future with you.

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maybedefinitely404 · 4 years

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Day 16: Prinxiety

@tsshipmonth2020

Heeey, look at that, I’m behind! Day 16: When your soulmate listens to music, you hear it in your own head as well.

Content warnings: assumed death of a soulmate (he’s not dead), depression, general sad vibes.

Word count: 2.6k

Note: the songs referenced in this fic are IDK You Yet by Alexander 23 and Love is Gone by SLANDER. Both of these songs make me cry and were the inspiration for this.

It was at midnight on December 19th when Roman’s soulmark first appeared. He didn’t realize this until 1am.

Granted, he didn’t know it was his soulmark for the first hour.

At first, the almost imperceptible steady beat in his head just seemed like a song that had gotten stuck in there. He didn’t remember ever hearing the song, but it wasn’t unlikely that he’d heard the tune at the store or on the radio and it unconsciously ingrained itself into his memory. He was working on an assignment that was due in the morning, a script analysis for one of his Theatre courses, and had begun to bop his head along to the music when his roommate walked in, eyes bleary and arms laden with books.

“Why aren’t you in bed?” He asked through a yawn, dropping the books on his desk and flopping into the bottom bunk.

“I could ask you the same question, Pat,” Roman hummed, completing his conclusion paragraph with a dramatic flair of his hands. “Just finished my paper. Going now.”

“Lost track of time at the library,” Patton murmured in response, draping his arms over his eyes.

Closing his computer, Roman popped his back and climbed up the small ladder into the top bunk, using his cellphone as a flashlight. He assumed Patton was already fast asleep (the man could fall asleep at the drop of a hat) and tried to follow suit, only to sit up in annoyance after several minutes.

Whatever song was stuck in his head was keeping him up.

He remembered a tip he’d seen on the internet once, that said if you sing the last part of the song, it’s easier to get out of your head. Something about ‘your brain needing to complete it to be satisfied’ or whatever. As hard as he focused, though, he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what song it was, much less the ending.

The more he concentrated on it, the louder it seemed to get, until it was no longer a hum of bass in the back of his skull, and he could make out the lyrics, the guitar solos, everything. He definitely hadn’t heard this song before. It wasn’t the kind you’d hear playing in public; it was loud, swears thrown in every chorus, just generally the kind of thing you’d hear in a Hot Topic but nowhere else.

And then it stopped.

For a split second he was pleased, thanking his brain for finally shutting off, and conceded to lie back down. He might be able to get six hours of sleep at this rate. Pretty good, for a college student.

Except as soon as he closed his eyes, another song started. It was another one he didn’t know, one he would have no way of knowing each word to. The realization hit him hard and his eyes shot open, nearly falling off the ladder in his haste to climb down.

“Roman? Everything okay?” Patton drawled, clearly having been woken up by Roman’s enthusiasm.

“My soulbond!”

“What?!” That got his attention and he jerked up, narrowly missing whacking his head on the top bunk.

“The music in my head all night, it’s my soulmate! It must be his birthday!”

He was pulling up music on his laptop before he’d even processed it, hands freezing over the keyboard as his brain grasped for something to play. What could he play that would properly introduce himself to his soulmate? A show tune? Something from the 80s? But his mind had gone completely blank, and he couldn’t think of a single one.

“What do I play, Pat?” He gasped, tapping the mousepad in time with the upbeat tempo in his head.

Patton was suddenly leaning over his shoulder, clacking a name into the search bar before pressing enter. Roman narrowed his eyes

“Why that one?”

Patton shrugged, “It’s kind of cheesy romantic, like you. And the first line is fitting.”

“A valid point,” Roman announced, closing his eyes to listen for a pause as the music switched. The second the song ended, he slammed the space bar, begging it to play before the next one started.

How can you miss someone you’ve never met?

Because I need you now but I don’t know you yet,

But can you find me soon, because I’m in my head,

Yeah, I need you now but I don't know you yet.

A little more depressing than he initially would have chosen, but he could see Patton’s point. The music on the other end had been paused and he smiled in accomplishment, knowing that he must have heard. He let the song play to the end of the first chorus before pausing it, waiting with his roommate with baited breath.

The silence was almost unbearably long, Patton watching him intently for some kind of indication that the music was back.

Hello,

It’s me.

Adele’s soothing melody filled his mind and he absolutely wheezed with laughter. Patton grinned and let him explain through gasps for air, and he let out a giggle in response.

“Okay,” Roman snorted, “What next?”

Patton passed out probably an hour later after helping Roman pick out songs that would adequately encompass him as a person, but the theatre student didn’t sleep last night. Eventually him and his soulmate found a nice rhythm, each playing a song in turn. It didn’t take long for him to assume that his soulmate was emo (a fact that had him blushing furiously), simply due to the overwhelming amount of My Chemical Romance and Green Day played in his head, and he figured it was probably pretty obvious that he was a theatre kid. The second song he played was from Heathers, afterall.

When his eyes finally started drooping too much to ignore, he knew he had to end this soon. The soulmate’s song ended and he quickly pulled up the first thing he’d thought of, a children’s lullaby, trying to indicate that he had to sleep.

There was quiet on the other end when the song ended, before the beginning trills of Baby Shark started playing and he groaned, quickly muffling the sound with his hand so as to not wake his roommate. He didn’t let it play past one verse, thank Olympus, and then his mind was quiet for the first time in many hours. It seemed like a mutual agreement that ‘now is sleep time’, and Roman went to sleep with a smile on his face.

Their new norm was quickly established in the following weeks. It became obvious almost right away that playing their music at the same time was cacophonous and only caused headaches, so they eventually settled on switching days. Every second morning, Roman would wake up to his alarm and quickly start his morning playlist, a set of rousing, uplifting, exciting songs to get his blood flowing for the day. It was his day to choose the music, so he’d set his walking playlist for class and his study one for the evenings, sometimes playing an adventure podcast or something to spice things up. The other days, he’d be woken by the soft notes of melancholy tunes, starting the day slowly. As the morning progressed, usually by the time he was eating breakfast, the tone would change to something a little more fast paced, as if his soulmate needed to warm up before getting to the main act. As much as the music wasn’t his style, he found himself keeping pace to the beat with his steps, bopping his head along to the melody, humming a harmony to the more commonly played ones. Just knowing that this was his soulmate made it better.

And then, one day… the music stopped.

He’d woken up around noon, not a big deal since he didn’t have classes until after lunch anyways, but he knew for a fact that his soulmate was always up by 10, latest. Whether the other had classes or a job that kept his schedule, he didn’t know. It was an oddity for sure that there was no alarm.

He put it off to the other probably having a sick day, or a free schedule, and he was sleeping in for once. The worry only started creeping in near the evening, when usually at this time, the music would start slowing down again as the sun set. There hadn’t been a peep all day, which was very unlike either of them. Even though the silence bothered him, he wouldn’t dare intrude on the other’s day, so he studied and ate dinner in silence, tapping his pencil against the table. Of course, he put it off to a one day fluke.

Except, two days after, when it should have been his soulmate’s turn again, there was no music. And the time after that. And the one after that. It was almost two weeks of radio silence on the other end before he called Patton through broken sobs, pleading for him to stop studying and come back to the dorm. Obviously, he made the ten minute walk in five.

And then Roman admitted the way his anxieties had been spiralling.

“What if- What if our soulbond broke? Did the universe realize we were a mistake? Or… or what if he died?! What if he’s hurt or dying or alone and I’m just-”

Patton shushed him gently, rubbing his back as Roman hiccuped into his shoulder. “When did this start?”

“Two- two weeks ago.”

“Then isn’t it possible that he just isn’t listening to music for a little while? Maybe he’s… somewhere without wifi. Or his phone broke.”

Even though he very much didn’t believe a word Patton was saying, he nodded along messily, clutching Patton’s shirt tighter. He eventually agreed to give him more time, hold on just a little longer, before completely giving up.

It took about a month before he did, and it didn’t get better from there.

Their consistency had been their norm for almost nine months, over summer break and now into the new school year, and now it was torn away without warning. Roman refused to listen to music on days that weren’t his, even though Patton tried to tell him it was okay, but he wouldn’t. It didn’t feel right. He mourned his soulmate the same way he would mourn a close friend’s death, for he truly believed he was gone for good. The person he’d barely gotten to understand, much less meet, and he was just… gone. He was going to live the rest of his life without a soulmate.

Most nights he just did the bare basics of the homework he had to do, without any of the old flair he’d put into all his work, and curled onto his bed to watch a show or, on his days, listen to music. His old playlists had shifted to the bottom of his rotation, now only bringing sadder memories that Patton had insisted he not indulge in at this point, so it was usually just automated lists he found. Nothing was special about them anymore.

Today was his day, an uneventful Saturday where the most exciting occurrence was Patton convincing him to come to the cafeteria and eat with other people. It had been tiring and only made him feel more alone, so his daily scheduled moping times had come up a little earlier. Patton had given him a hug and a gentle kiss on the head, telling him he had to go meet some people for a group project, and to call if he needed anything, before grabbing his bag and leaving. Roman didn’t miss the sad look tossed his way before the door shut.

Despite Patton’s advice, he was feeling particularly shitty today, and his fingers, seemingly with a mind of their own, pulled up one of his older playlists. One of the ones that was reminiscent of days when he actually had a soulmate. He clicked shuffle and tossed the phone onto the pillow next to his head, curling that much deeper into his blankets, as if he could somehow refill the void that had been cut out of him.

How can you miss someone you’ve never met?

Because I need you now but I don’t know you yet,

But can you find me soon, because I’m in my head,

Yeah, I need you now but I don't know you yet.

The first song he’d ever played had become a sort of inside joke between them. Despite the song’s sad melody and somber lyrics, it was a reminder of the first time they’d interacted; an awkward, laughter filled night. At least, it had been on Roman’s night, and he could only hope it had been the same on the other end.

He didn’t even realize he was crying until the pillow beneath him was tear stained and gross to lay on. Why had the universe chosen him as the target for its cruel irony? Not that he wished this on anyone else… but why couldn’t soulmates be foolproof? Why was there that margin for error, the always-there possibility that everything you’ve ever dreamed of will be ripped out of your hands just as soon as you think you have it? So close, but so far. At least before they’d connected, he’d lived in blissful hope and ignorance.

The song ended and he pressed pause lethargically, not able to find the emotional strength to listen to more. Maybe Patton had been right. A glance out the window showed that it was well past nightfall, the full moon gleaming into his window, and he decided to just sleep the emptiness away. It hadn’t worked so far, but maybe tonight was the night. He turned off his phone screen and plugged it in to charge, rolling away to face the wall, and waited for the soothing peace of sleep to take over him.

At first, he thought it was just a hallucination, wishful thinking. More than once in the three months since his soulmate disappeared, he’d thought he’d heard music, only for the feeling to disappear as soon as he focused on it. A soulbond only became louder when concentrated on, so he eventually realized he was doing it to himself subconsciously, his mind struggling to fill the emptiness that had once been filled by the other’s music.

When it disappeared, he figured it was music from someone else’s dorm filtering through the thin walls. But no, this was too clear, too distinct, too ingrained, to be coming from an external source.

He calmed his racing heart before he could jump to conclusions. This music isn’t like what his used to be. It must be your brain, because he’s gone. He’s GONE, Roman.

Much as he tried to push it down, he couldn’t. It was becoming evident that no, something was happening, and it had to do with his soulmate. As he had done for the time he’d known (could it be considered ‘knowing’) the other, he concentrated on the lyrics, because those were the only feeble ways they’d interacted in those times.

I’m sorry,

Don’t leave me,

I want you here with me,

I know that your love is gone.

I can’t breathe,

I’m so weak,

I know this isn’t easy,

Don’t tell me that your love is gone,

That your love is gone.

Patton walked in after his group meeting to see Roman sobbing in his bed and, immediately assuming the worst, he jumped onto the bed and pulled him into his arms. Through gasps for breath, Roman was able to choke out that, “He’s back. He’s playing music. He’s back. He’s back.”

Part 2 HERE

#lywrites #tsshipmonth2020 #sanderssides #sanders sides #prinxiety #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #sad tw #depression tw #ts soulmate au #sanders sides fanfiction #sanderssidesfanfiction

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alreadyblondenow · 4 years

Text

In favor of Chicago

nurse student!Johnny x art student!reader // SMUT, FLUFF, angst? Summary: Dating your ex’s best friend turned out to be a life changing chapter of your life... and you two can’t have sex because he thinks he has STD. Word count: 11k Warnings: Mentions of STD, swearing, explicit mature themes, unprotected sex, back to back cheating, oral, sending of sex tape without consent. Note: This is just a fic, purely from my imagination.

The library was packed when you decided to work on your Claude Monet paper that you have to hand to Mr. Moon before you head home. Picking a spot where a lot of students sitting and getting stunned by your presence was a huge distraction to you and hearing them gossip about your love life was way beyond disturbing. So the word is out. Not that you cared, but your attention span is really short. Being popular in college was not actually bad, but at times like this you just want to be a no one.

You’re in deep concentration with your paper and you’re five paragraphs away from finishing it. Taking a short break to check your phone and update your boyfriend that you’re almost done and you will go straight home after you hand this to your professor.

Jaehyun: So now you’re fucking my best friend? Real classy, y/n.

Jaehyun: How did this happened?

Jaehyun: Where are you? We need to talk.

Last time you check Jaehyun is not talking to you but now that the word is already out he suddenly cares. The breakup you had with Jaehyun was actually peaceful no fighting or shouting just pure talking and a lot of crying. Jaehyun is not the person you’re expecting to message you right now, you haven’t talked to each other since the night he broke up with you. So what if the popular girl is dating the university’s fuckboy? Is Johnny not allowed to finally settle in with someone?

Speaking of the devil, when you were headed to the faculty Johnny called you. You figure maybe he’s done with his shift at the university hospital.

“Hello” you answered your phone with a sweet smile that too bad Johnny won’t see.

“Hey, just calling to check if you’re okay. You know, everyone is going crazy about finding out about our relationship” through the phone you hear him open his locker, you’re right his shift is over.

“Well, they’re eight months late. Johnny were not hiding, I think everyone was just not looking enough... until now” you giggle through the phone and he couldn’t agree more.

“Okay okay, I’ll see you at your place. Just need to do something here at the hospital, will not take long but you go home safe, okay?” You answered a sweet “okay” still walking and smiling all by yourself like a crazy person.

“I love you my future art curator”

“I love you too my future nurse”

As you went home safely and take a hot shower before Johnny comes, you were brushing your teeth when the door opens and you finally see your sleepless boyfriend. For the first time today. He wraps his arms around your waist letting you finish brushing your teeth in peace. His chin rests comfortably on top of your shoulders, hearing him let go deep and heavy sigh.

For a normal person a sigh may be a sign of ’tiredness’ but for Johnny, it means he’s finally with you and he’s really happy to be with you now, watching you brush your teeth.

“I brought you your favorite Chinese takeout” he said as you two walk towards your small kitchen kissing him with your minty lips. Seeing the bag of takeout on the kitchen counter already making your place smell like freshly cooked stir fry, “yum, baby! Oh I’ve been craving”

After dinner you and Johnny are cuddled up in the middle of your bed. His giant figure does not fit in your small bed but he loves sleeping beside you. Sleeping beside you is like having sex with you but without actually having sex.

“Good night” he said softly, but it doesn’t really mean he’s going to sleep. It means, ‘close your eyes and relax while I make you feel good until you pass out’. You feel his hand creep around your stomach, lifting you sleepwear up to expose your boobs. Soon his lips touch yours, kissing you like how he loves you, feeling smiles in between kisses. As you lay on your back comfortably and Johnny kissing you down until you’re buried under the soft pillows, his big hands continues to cup your boobs, pinch your nipples and brushing his thumb on it because it’s your favorite thing.

“Why don’t you tell me about your day? I’ll listen” he said pulling away from your lips so you could talk. Johnny starts to kiss your jaw down to your neck until the valley between your boobs. You feel wild, open mouth kisses around your upper body hands are playing with your boobs, sliding on your sides, soothing your tummy as he goes down. You try to construct your sentence as you start telling him about your day.

“I’m d-down with my last few papers…” he’s taking time kissing your lower abdomen before removing your thin shorts and panties. “just a few more research papers and professor Moon will write me a recommendation paper for the intern- fuck, Johnny” it became harder for you to talk when he finally stick his thumb on your wet clothed pussy, slowly removing the fabric down to your legs, spreading it wide and blow cold air on your pussy lips. You shiver at what Johnny did and tried to close your legs but he’s quick to stop it.

“Baby, continue” Johnny demands before devouring your pussy finally.

You can’t stop moving your hips once his tongue touched your pussy. The way his tongue glides up and down your pussy just tells you how wet you are and horny for Johnny. “If the company liked my portfolio, I’ll land an internship there and there will be a big possibility that they will absorb me- hmmm!” pushing your hips to his mouth to feel more of his tongue, imagining that it’s his cock he’s fucking you with.

“Oh-baby, mind spreading my pussy lips?” you know it’s a request Johnny can’t refuse, and so he did. Spreading your pussy lips with both of his hands, licking your cunt up and down fast and hitting that nerve. Johnny is proud how well he’s making you feel good, listening to your moans and watching you between your legs with eyes closed, lips parted and gasping loudly.

You don’t know what to do with your hands by this time. Touch Johnny’s soft hair and push his head more against your cunt? Cup your boobs and touch yourself? Grip the sheets?

Yes.

Grip the sheets. That way you wont hurt Johnny or yourself with those long nails of yours. Throwing yourself on edge, Johnny gave your slit long slow licks from bottom to your clit, both if his hands still holding your pussy lips. Pushing your hips off the bed to feel more, rolling your hips fast on Johnny’s tongue hitting his mouth, using it completely to go off.

He knew you reached your sweet climax when your legs are shivering and you’re gripping the pillows tightly, moaning and grunting softly. You feel your body warm and sweaty and to be honest, you can’t feel your legs. Still breathing heavily and catching your breath, you feel Johnny clean the mess between your thighs, got you a clean pair of panties, rolled down your sleepwear and covered you with the thick sheets.

“How I wish we could really have sex” you know it’s the wrong thing to mention but you just can’t help it. It’s not fair that Johnny fucked almost half of the population of pretty girls at the university and now that he’s your boyfriend he can’t have sex with you… “At least I don’t have to worry about getting you knocked up” he jokes but deep inside you know he’s hurting. As you two lay in bed tired and still horny, you finished the night like how you two usually do. Kiss. Finish the night with dirty and filthy smooches.

Eight or nine months ago, just when you and Johnny are getting started with your blooming relationship he admitted that he’s not sure if he’s clean. “Well why don’t you get tested?” you asked worriedly propping your elbow on the mattress and facing him. “I’m scared of the results. I-I’m not yet ready, you know? What if I have it, or or worst-“ Johnny sounded scared, sad and angry all at the same time.

“What if you’re not? Baby, I’m not forcing you but I’m telling you it’s the right thing to do.” And that scares Johnny the most, when you tell him to go take the test but he had to refuse.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I really can’t do it. I feel fine, healthy, and as long as I can breathe, walk and study, I will not take the test. Not until I’m ready. I can’t let it ruin my future” he finished explaining and closed his eyes, bringing his hand in the middle of his forehead and gently massage it.

From there on, you don’t question him why. But you do tell him to go take the test without sounding like you’re forcing him to do something he’s not ready to do. Instead, you both enjoyed the relationship you had. Sex free and full of love. Though you two can be filthy at times, but most of the time your intimacy comes in different shapes and sizes.

And that fuckboy reputation? Completely gone.

You knew what you signed up for. You expect Johnny to cheat and find different women in his apartment whenever you visit, getting yourself ready for multiple heartbreaks and never ending forgiveness. But no, the boy was completely loyal to you and it’s almost too good to be true. Johnny has been fucking around since his freshman days, showing off different girls night after night, and not taking nursing school seriously. It’s a miracle how he managed to keep his GPA. “I always envy Jaehyun. I always want to have someone like you, I think I just got lucky to have exactly who I want”

The relationship you two built is like no other. It’s like you’re both facing adulthood together and finding a way to make life easier with the help of each other. Being a senior in college means you’ll have a hectic schedule before you finally graduate.

For Johnny, that’s being an intern at the university hospital and taking shifts there until he’s qualified to transfer to another hospital. For you, you’re taking up classes and finishing a few papers and wait for The Art Institute of Chicago take you as an intern. It was never easy but the you have Johnny and he has you.

You believe that Johnny is the man you’re marrying someday and you’re willing to take care of your relationship with him whatever it takes. Johnny thinks the same way, over the past few years he’s been watching you and Jaehyun love each other wildly. And now that he has you, he will not fuck it up. “I didn’t stole you from Jaehyun, right?”

You giggle at his question thinking how someone like him is actually worried from stealing you from your ex. “No, Johnny. We broke up months ago when you came back from Chicago. I remember telling you the story though-“

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Just checking again”

As the world watches you two have a peaceful relationship, a lot of people try so hard to ruin what you two got. You’ve been getting a lot of messages and stories about how different girls fucked Johnny already, telling you that he��s probably cheating right now at this very second. But again, you knew Johnny better than anyone else because you are his first love and he only opened his heart for you. Besides, those bitches got nothing on you.

While different girls try to ruin Johnny’s image for you, a specific someone tries to ruin your image for Johnny. Your ex, Jaehyun. But just like you, Johnny knew better than losing his shit for Jaehyun.

Days and weeks went on like this and stress just keeps getting the best out of you and Johnny. You’re busy writing hundred pages long for a specific artist, and Johnny is busy with hospital duties. Which is making him crazy without his coping mechanism and stress relief that is usually sex. And he knew all too well that he can’t have sex with you even if he use a condom.

One night he found you sleeping soundly on your bed and he was completely exhausted because of overtime and he really needs you right now. He kissed you softly until you wake up, your eyes were really tired from facing your computer the whole day but you understand that Johnny is home, so you need to wake up. “I missed you” he whispers softly, feeling soft touches around your thighs. Lips still on Johnny’s and you’re not planning to pull away any minute, “can’t make you eat me tonight baby, you’re dead tired” you said with a hoarse voice, it surprised you when he shook his head. Telling you to be quiet, he gently removed your shorts and panties and giving your pussy a peck.

You watch him put his middle finger in his mouth as he sucks it while looking into your eyes making you feel shy and exposed that your legs are widely spread in front of him and your cunt is waiting to be touched. But it’s Johnny you don’t need to be shy.

He insert his middle finger inside your tight cunt a little rough. Pulling it and out from you, making you crazy and moan loudly. “close your eyes” he said with the most sexiest voice ever. Your mind goes to every scenario possible. Ice play? Overstimulation? Fucking you with a dildo?

Feeling excited as you wait for him to make his move, you don’t know but he’s unbuckling his belt, removing his pants and pumping his cock. Hesitating to fuck you raw and making an unreasonable decision to have sex with you tonight.

“This will feel good baby, I promise”

His hands are both on the sides of your head, taking advantage of your closed eyes. Your heart is thumping loud you swear you can hear it. Smiling wildly feeling Johnny’s kisses on your neck until you feel the tip of his cock lining at your entrance.

Everything happened so fast. You pushed him way to hard like he was some kind of rapist. Immediately feeling the guilt and regret that you let yourself open your legs wide for him. Wearing your panties again and putting back your thin shorts, feeling angry at the man you love and you don’t know what to do with him.

Johnny is apologising over and over and over again but you don’t listen to him. You don’t hate him of course, you’re just… scared and worried for yourself because this is the first time Johnny became like this.

“I’ll pretend this never happened Johnny. I’ll sleep on the couch, you need to sleep well tonight”

How do you expect him to sleep like a baby after what’s happened? On the next day, he felt like shit and even more guilty when he found out you already left for your morning classes. He made it to the hospital without any sleep and rest, and it was a tough day at the hospital.

“Well you look like shit” His friend Karen gave him another cup of cheap coffee from the vending machine because she thought Johnny needed it. “Rough night?” she added, keeping Johnny’s attention to her.

“Tell me about it. Fucking newbies don’t know what to do most of the time, can you believe that shit” he let it out really annoyed and tired, drank the coffee in one down. It wasn’t really hot, it’s always like that that’s why it’s cheap.

Karen is an intern from another university, a younger nurse than Johnny. If he’s single and if he doesn’t have you, he will definitely fuck Karen at the nurse lounge. And he can’t believe he’s thinking about banging his co-intern after what happened last night.

“I get you. Being a junior in this hospital fucking stresses me out, I’ve never been to a hospital so stressful. I mean for an intern like me? It’s too much, don’t you think?” she sighs, “I need sex, lots of sex”

Johnny almost choke when he heard what she said, he can’t believe they’re thinking the same thing. ’Sex.’

“Now that I let that out of my chest, do you… uhm” she scratched her neck being awkward about the situation she singlehandedly made. “Want to have sex…with me? I heard you’re like uhm, popular here because of… you know. Definitely no strings attached just pure adult stress release”

Being from another school definitely made her miss the memo that Johnny is with the most popular girl in campus, running valedictorian, and basically his future wife. The saddest part is, Johnny thought he’s completely a changed man and that no other temptation can make him turn his back around and dive into hooking up with other girls. It makes him sad that he’s about to do it.

The two hit it off at the empty nurse lounge at the other building’s basement. Since they’re both familiar with how the hospital works, they’re sure know no one will catch them there.

In the middle of pounding Karen and Johnny’s balls deep inside her, it felt really good now that he’s fucking someone again. Imagining that it’s you he’s fucking feeling the guilt even more. “Why didn’t we did this a little sooner?” Karen was moaning uncontrollably, muffling her screams whenever Johnny tells her to be quiet and give her ass a juicy slap.

“Feels good, fuck. You aren’t a virgin right? But fuck it feels like a virgin’s hole” his hands are on her hips watching how her massive boobs bounce up and down right in front of him. Thumbing Karens clit, pushing her on edge careful not to release at the condom yet. He pulls out immediately and licks her cunt until she cums. Letting her shiver on top of the hospital bed with no sheets. He slams back inside her again, making her cum using his cock giving her the full experience of being fucked by Johnny.

“It’s good that we fit… You know that?” he grunts while fucking her with a steady pace letting Karen moan his name loudly until he cums finally.

Feeling guilty and shy as hell, he cleans himself and went outside the room letting Karen make herself presentable again.

While Johnny is inside someone’s pussy and having the time of his life, you on the other hand who is completely clueless, is thinking about making him dinner and tell him the good news that you finally got the internship in Chicago.

“You leave in two weeks” you remember Mr. Moon telling you the great news. Calling every person that actually cares for you and telling them the big news, screaming and shouting on the phone excitedly as you walk back to your apartment. Still wondering why Johnny haven’t answered his phone.

You put on some classical music to calm your excited nerves, making Johnny his favorite dish and trying to finish everything up before he arrives. Opening a glass of wine and drinking it while you cook, thinking how you more than deserved this.

“Hi, babe! Right on time, I have good news” you welcomed him with kisses at the hallway and walked him towards the dinning room. “But first let’s eat dinner while the food is hot”

All throughout the dinner you noticed Johnny’s mood. Maybe he’s tired? You can’t take the silence anymore so you asked what’s wrong, hoping that it’s nothing serious. Did he finally take the test? It’s making you anxious every second that passes. He’s not looking to you in the eye, he’s not touching his food but he already had three glasses of wine.

“I had sex with someone. Today, at the hospital”

EIGHT MONTHS AGO

Before your last semester as a junior in college ends, Jaehyun decided to breakup with you. “I just don’t see my future anymore with you, Y/n” his exact words. After being together since high school and almost half of your college years, putting up with every bullshit he gave you for the last six years now he’s finally letting you go. Thankfully the breakup was nothing but peaceful and there were no shouting or cursing at each other. But it was painful for you.

This is your first summer without Jaehyun and theres no better way to heal from a breakup by getting yourself busy. You’ve been working on your portfolio day and night and you think it’s better than just watching a sad Netflix movie. There’s no way that you’re not going to land your future job in Chicago right after graduation so you worked your ass off.

Today you need to mail a physical copy of your portfolio and went to the post office alone to your surprise you saw a certain someone. Johnny Seo, Jaehyun’s best friend. Looking a little different from the last time you saw him.

“It’s great to see you...in a post office” he said and you both laughed awkwardly. He noticed your well wrapped thick portfolio and figured things out from there. He quickly received what he was going to get and helped you mail out your item.

“How are things with Jaehyun? I heard he quit being a dj for the school radio when I went home to Chicago. The fool didn’t want any partner but me” he said as he walks with you not knowing where to go.

You figured he wasn’t around when Jaehyun broke up with you so he missed the news. “We broke up, two or three months ago, I think” trying not to look so hurt by what you said, you avoid eye contact and looked at your shoes as you both continue to walk. He apologised for what he said and for being insensitive but you told him it’s fine, he was away that time so you understand him.

“Well, you don’t look fine. Can I buy you ice cream?” it was a leap of faith for Johnny to ask you to spend some time with him and he was hoping you would really give him a chance.

“Is this the part where you ask me out and ask me to sleep with you because I’m not with Jae anymore?” heart beats really fast because of what you just said. You didn’t mean to be bold and straightforward but knowing about his fuckboy reputation in campus just makes you put your guard up.

Now that you’re not with Jaehyun anymore you figure maybe you don’t have the immunity from being added to the list of the girls he fucked already.

“No y/n, I’m simply being nice to you. And if I want to fuck you I’d tell you ‘let’s get out of here so we can have sex’ but I didn’t right?”

You feel ashamed for what kind of behaviour you showed him but Johnny is nice enough to still buy you ice cream. At the the end of the day you had a great time eating ice cream with him and talked about random stuff. Maybe you’re exaggerating a little but you feel alive again after for so long.

Way back when you and Jaehyun are together, you only see Johnny when you’re looking for Jaehyun at the dorm or whenever Jaehyun is way too drunk to walk, Johnny is the person to call. They’ve been friends since they were freshmen and just building their own selves through college. Jaehyun is the university’s star athlete and sexy chef while Johnny is the known hot fuckboy from the nursing department. Everyone is crazy about them especially when they started to dj at the university’s radio. Their ratings were high because people simply can’t get enough of their handsomeness.

Ever since Jaehyun introduced you to Johnny, he always tells you how sometimes Johnny looked at you like you were some type of meal that he’s been craving for. “You don’t know him like I do, babe. Just promise me to avoid him even if he’s being nice, even if he’s my best bud.”

But now that you’ve been hanging out a lot with Johnny you see him as a warm person. Nice enough to help you land a good internship once senior year starts, a family guy who loves his parents so much, and gentleman enough to sneak in your room using your opened window while you’re sleeping.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday happy birthday... happy birthday to you”

In your dark room, you heard him singing you happy birthday just when the clock strikes twelve. Johnny is holding a small cupcake with one lit candle, smiling so sweetly to you as he waits for you to make a wish and blow the candle.

No one has ever surprised you in such a way and you didn’t expect that Johnny will be the first. “How did you even get in?” whispering and careful not to be heard by your parents you asked Johnny and he points to you the opened window as his answer.

It’s weird how things move so fast for you and Johnny but slow enough to achieve what you both had in mind. You think it’s too early for Johnny to put his arm around you while walking outside the neighbourhood, incredibly close to each other but you let him. You don’t know why you let him sneak in your room almost every night and spend the night with him just laying on your bed talking softly and giggling like little kids.

Not wanting him to leave yet, you invite him to lay with you in bed. Letting him slide under covers and keep you warm. It’s obvious that you two like each other but no one is taking advantage of that but today’s your birthday, being selfish for once won’t ruin your ‘friendship’ with Johnny.

“Can I kiss you?” You blurted out.

“Can I kiss you?” He repeats your question, emphasis on the ‘I’ and you nod your head as your answer. “Happy birthday” he added before kissing you again sweetly, putting you on top of him. Enjoying how his lips are finally touching yours, enjoying the happiness you’re feeling after being trapped to someone for so long.

As senior year starts you spend almost every second and every minute with Johnny now that you move out from Jaehyun’s apartment and have your own. Johnny didn’t move in with you but he basically lives with you because he can’t stand not being with you with every time he’s got free time. No one knows how senior year will eat up the time you two should be together and Johnny came prepared for that.

“Let me live with you here but not really live, live… get it? I can take care of you, I’m going to be your private nurse, I will do the laundry, I will give you pleasure” he kissed the knuckles of your right hand, “I will be your boyfriend. I will show you how a proper boyfriend should treat his girlfriend. Once we’re both interns in Chicago, I promise you… we’ll stay at our house”

“That’s a lot of promises Johnny Seo. Chill, you can live with me. Let’s take care of each other, you don’t need to do everything”

“How did I get so lucky!” he’s squeezing you with a tight hug on the couch, bodies closer as usual.

And you did took care of each other. Whenever you feel sick, tired, or worn out, Johnny is always present. Him being a nurse is actually good for someone who gets sick a lot. You made him be a better person, helping him study more for nursing exams and helping him maintain his GPA.

Playing house isn’t the term, but you two helped each other whenever someone is struggling financially. If Johnny is short for his tuition money, you don’t hesitate to cover for it.

“Do you want to stop studying? In the middle of fucking senior year?”

“No” Johnny accepts defeat.

“Then shut up and take my money, come on I’ll pay with you”

And if you’re the one who’s short for rent money, Johnny got you covered. He doesn’t tell it to you but you found out that he’s been paying for your rent fee whenever you’re behind.

“Do you want to live in my small apartment? With Ten?”

“No” This time it’s you who accepts defeat.

“Thought so too. You don’t want to live with two filthy nurses right? So I already took care of the rent baby, you don’t have to worry about it”

EIGHT MONTHS AFTER / PRESENT TIME

“This is it then? You’re breaking up with me?”

“No. Johnny I’m not breaking up with you. All I’m asking is some space, let me think about staying in this relationship. Let me think about what you did. I’m trying my best to convince myself not to leave you, so please just give me some space”

“Baby, please. It doesn’t mean anything”

“Sure it doesn’t but what if I do the same thing to you?” your tone was a little loud this time, every second this conversation grew you, your frustrations grew double. “You will be heartbroken just like me right now. I don’t know if Im fooling myself for thinking that maybe you’re the one for me, now I’m asking space so I can make sure that I still want you to be part of my life”

Johnny was speechless when you walked out in front of him. He wanted to ran to you and beg for more but he needs to get back to the hospital.

It’s been a painful three days for the both of you. Neither one of you functions well. You’re a wreck, he’s a wreck. And truth be told you both can’t afford a breakup right now because it might affect your work performance. At least that’s how you feel about the breakup, you don’t know about Johnny.

During the nights you were sleeping alone, you remember how you and Johnny dance and drink beer in the middle of a bar that has a live band. And no one would care if you two were just enjoying your own little world. Walking around campus hand in hand while he’s eating his sandwich in his hospital scrubs and you’re holding a book and reading about more artists. It doesn’t matter if no one is talking, what matters most is that you’re together.

Sure he’s just some guy but he’s been a part of you already. And what Johnny did ruined your relationship. You’re crying right now because you’re madly, deeply in love with him and what he did is like putting a knife straight to your heart and you don’t know what to do about it.

The night before you leave for Chicago, Johnny went to your apartment after his long hour shift. You can see that he’s tired and sleepless but he still chose to go to your apartment, “I’ll help you pack” he said weakly heading towards to your closet and folded your clothes. It’s not that you’re letting him help you, you don’t have the energy to argue further with him.

It was dead quiet. Something has never happened in this apartment of your whenever Johnny is around. The air feels heavy and you want him to leave now after he zips your luggage. “Listen, uhm- I maybe can’t drive you to the airport tomorrow. I have an early shift-“

“It’s okay. I can handle everything by myself” You’re still not looking at him, crossing your arms waiting for him to head out. At this point, why are you still surprise that Johnny can’t drop you off.

“Okay. Uh… Can I hug you?” he was hopeful you can see it in his eyes. You want to grant his request but that’s not how space works.

“Good night Johnny, you know the way out. Get some sleep.”

On the next day, it’s a good thing that you’re excited and you don’t feel sad and bad for yourself. This is the only thing that you have full control with, your future. After everything you did to get where you are right now, you can say that you’re proud of yourself. You’re excited to work, meet Mr. Choi and have the time of your life.

“Chicago is great, Mr. Choi and the company gave me an amazing apartment. And the people at work are so nice, not to mention the Museum! Ugh! The museum is beautiful, Wendy! You should go visit here” since you don’t have Johnny to tell all these stories, you pour them all to your best friend, Wendy.

“That’s great! Hey, listen…” she clears her throat, “Have you talked to Johnny lately?”

“N-no, why would I?”

“I don’t know y/n? He’s been asking me every week about you and he looks like shit, though I heard he nailed that internship there… In Chicago. So you know, prepare yourself?”

“Thanks for the heads up Wendy. It’s okay, tell him I’m fine and I’m doing great here” After you hung up on Wendy, theres a familiar figure that’s looking for old LP records and you decided to take a closer look. Before you could even get closer, the man turned around and saw you.

“Y/n!”

Jung fucking Jaehyun. Looking so handsome as always. Just like the firs time you met him, but now he has brown hair. “What are you doing here in Chicago?” you asked him, staring like a statue and you didn’t know you have the brightest smile flashing in front of him.

“I’m an intern here. You know cooking meals for some famous people, I’m actually here for about three months already I’ll go back to campus in a matter of weeks. Wait for graduation when I get back, how about you?”

“I just got here a week ago, I finally got the internship at The Art Institute”

With Jung Jaehyun’s presence you suddenly felt home again. You’re happy that he’s finishing his internship here and he’s going to have his own restaurant when he graduates. Jaehyun was excited to tell you all of his plans for himself and for his business. You on the other hand, thought that maybe breaking up wasn’t so bad.

He invited you to his place and told you he’ll make you dinner, “come one, just like old times” he winks at you and put an arm over your shoulder.

You watch Jaehyun cook in his small but decent kitchen, and you got to admit you miss watching him cook his heart out for you. It’s only been a few months since you two broke up and you can’t believe he has changed so much.

“Try this, it’s hot though” he put he fork right in front of your mouth and gave you a mouthful of pasta. “Hmm! Jaehyun, it’s good” he chuckles at your reaction, watching you eat the past with some garlic bread.

“I only hear you moan like that in bed” he said, smiling at you and teasing you like you two never broke up in the first place. Playfully you smack his arm and continue eating.

The night went on and on of you two talking about your past. After one casserole of pasta and three bottles of wine, you’re now laying on the couch with Jaehyun in between his legs with a small blanket on your leg.

“You sure Johnny won’t mind of you being here?” you feel the vibrations of his voice against your back whenever he talks.

“He wouldn’t dare. Were kind of not together now. He slept with someone from the hospital before we could even, do it.”

“So you never had sex? That’s a shocker, I used to think you two fuck like rabbits”

“Jaehyun you’re disgusting” as much as it disgust you, it made you giggle and laugh, “Johnny thinks he’s not clean, he can’t have sex with me. He’s scared to be tested”

You don’t see it but Jaehyun is really disappointed with Johnny. “I may be an asshole to you, but I never cheated” Jaehyun says proudly, reaching for his glass of wine and drinking it in one down. Hugging you from behind and keeping you close to him, you can smell his familiar perfume. Something you haven’t smell for some time now but you still know it’s Jaehyun’s.

“Do you miss it? The sex?” he broke the comfortable silence.

“Of course. You know me Jae, sex was like a big part of our relationship. But that was us. Me and Johnny were okay even though we don’t get to have sex, but yeah sometimes I miss it. And maybe Johnny missed it a little too much”

After having great dinner at his apartment, Jaehyun brought you to your apartment safe and sound. Inviting you again for the next day, “I could stop by at the museum and we’ll go grocery shopping” it wasn’t a bad idea, you’re sucker for good a great company and Jaehyun is the perfect person for that. Before Jaehyun fly back home, you two spent time with each other. He brought you to he restaurant, you brought him to the museum.

Jaehyun is the one doing Johnny’s promises to you.

Four days before Jaehyun leaves, is supposed to be the date of your seventh year anniversary. “Let’s celebrate it, no ones going to die if we celebrate it” Jaehyun said through the phone, inviting you to his place again tonight, to celebrate. It’s not a good idea of course but it will be just good food, wine and a lot of talking.

Or so you thought. The whole dinner time Jaehyun was flirting with you and you’ve been rolling your eyes over and over again for the past three hours.

You’re looking at his LP collection while you listen closely to the music he played. Standing in front of the record player reading the track list and sipping wine. You feel Jaehyun put your hair on the other side of your neck and kiss your exposed shoulders. Soft lips on your skin, hands caressing your shoulders, you miss this feeling.

“Were both single and were not looking for relationship. We both want the same thing, right” his voice is deep whenever he wants something from you. You nod at what he said quickly turning you around to face him. Kissing you without a warning, tasting the expensive wine that still lingers on your lips.

Leaving the record play beautifully as you two walk towards his room, leaving a trail of your discarded clothes on floor and reaching the bed already fully naked. He kissed your neck, whispering how much he missed you, kissing your jaw down to your boobs cupping them and kneading as he goes back to your lips again to tell you, “you always have the prettiest nipples”

Suddenly, you remember Johnny.

You watch him lick your nipples, left and right. Pinching it softly and gently careful not to hurt you and eventually sucking it until it’s both swollen. “Does Johnny knows your nipples turns pink after an hour of just sucking it and playing with it?” you just listen to Jaehyun as he do what he pleases.

“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever been with, I’m an idiot for leaving you” he went down to your exposed sex, kissing it softly but not making you sensitive. You feel him kiss your upper thighs, slowly putting his tongue out when he reaches your pussy lips. “I bet Johnny gave you a lot of oral,” you nod your head weakly watching him smile in between your legs, “I’ll make you wet and fuck you the whole night, something he can’t do” it breaks your heart hearing those words.

Jaehyun spits on your cunt and kept it wet and ready for his cock, playing with your hole for some time so you won’t get hurt. When you finally saw him pump his cock and line it to your entrance, you’re tempted for a second to make him stop so you closed your legs.

“We’ve done this a thousand time y/n, it’s just me” Jaehyun made sure to make you calm and remind you that this is just sex, “this wont mean anything” he added.

With one smooth thrust, Jaehyun is inside you. And after for so long you’re having sex again with the same man who fucked you for the past six years. You put your legs around his waist, keeping him close to you as he thrust in and out. “Happy anniversary” he teases while giving you hard thrusts that makes you grunt and your boobs bounce. Chest to chest and forehead to forhead, Jaehyun is fucking you good. Moaning his name as you enjoy the feeling that you’ve been missing for the last couple of months.

“I was hurt when I found out about you and Johnny” he gave you hard piercing thrust. One by one, putting his anger on his thrust remembering how it hurt when he knew about you and Johnny. “I didn’t broke up with you so he could have you, no no” he’s giving you the same thrust hearing him breath heavily. You on the other hand is taking it all, the hurt and stretch of his cock, the impact of his thrust, his bites on your shoulder, everything.

You and Jaehyun fucked again and again that night. Kissing your body to sleep on his cozy apartment, and doing the same thing the moment he wakes up. “Good morning beautiful, what do you want for breakfast?” he kisses you body all over until he finally sees your sweet smile and morning glow, “and don’t tell me you want me for breakfast. Please you worn me out last night” he added, kissing your lips and smiling at you.

Poking his dimples before you tell him what you want for breakfast, he catches your finger and playfully bites it. “I’m fine with pancakes and strawberries, with lots of syrup and freshly brewed coffee”

“Okay. Now get your sexy ass in the shower, I’ll make us breakfast” he kissed you one last time before he heads to the kitchen.

When Jaehyun heard you’re busy inside the bathroom, he messaged Johnny. Sending him a video of you and him, having sex last night. Feeling so accomplished that this time Johnny will feel double the hurt Jaehyun felt when he found out about your relationship. Soon after he flipped a couple of pancakes, Johnny replied to his message.

Johnny: At least delete the fucking video, I don’t need to watch it.

Jaehyun: Meet me at the café near campus tomorrow night. We need to talk.

“Hey chef, the pancake is ready to be flipped” you came out of nowhere and Jaehyun was quick to put away his phone. Giving you his innocent dimpled smile, “here you go” drizzling the syrup on top of the pancakes watching Jaehyun put some confectioners’ sugar. You had a peaceful breakfast with Jaehyun before he could leave and catch his flight back.

“Jae, just so you know… I still love Johnny. I will take of the consequences just please, don’t tell what happened- I’m ashamed”

It’s too late for that now, Jaehyun kissed your forehead and promised you not to meddle. Even though he already did, just like you he will face the consequences by himself.

Johnny on the other hand feels so broken. You’re right, it hurts like hell. He didn’t need to watch the video but it was a wake up call for him. He’s tired of just sitting back and watching you slowly fade in his life. If he wanted to prove something to you, he knows exactly what he needs to do.

“Hey Ten, I need you to do me favor- fuck, I don’t how to do this but, I need to get tested today. Before I fly to Chicago in a week, I need to finally do it. I’m losing her”

Ten is Johnny’s best friend, he pulled some strings at the hospital to make the test and the results private. Johnny is a famous man and every person who knew him will lose their shit if they found out about the STD testing.

Jaehyun and Johnny met at the café as planned. The tension between the two men grew worst when Jaehyun told Johnny that he’s been sleeping with you for a week even though that part is not true and that you two celebrated your seventh year anniversary.

“I came here for y/n, not to listen about your little play house with her” Johnny let out a big sigh and sipped on his coffee, “she needs you there and as much as it hurts me, I’m thankful you guys met there”

Jaehyun was lost, but surprised that Johnny is not using his fists anymore to settle things like how he used to. “She loved you more than she could ever love me, and dude you fucking wasted it. Even though you fucking cheated, she still loves you like crazy.”

“I’m well aware of my mistakes Jaehyun, that’s why I’m making things right from now on. Funny how I used to fuck every girl just for fun but now that I want to have sex with someone I love, I can’t.”

“Why didn’t you just use a condom?”

“Are you stupid? The fact that I’m doubting if i’m clean is not safe for her already. She doesn’t deserve that”

“And the girl you cheated with deserved shit? Oh come on Johnny-“

“She got tested and it’s negative so you could shut the fuck up now Jaehyun”

“Okay okay. Now it’s time for me to talk” Jaehyun clears his throat and looked at Johnny straight in his eyes, “I’m getting her back. And once I do that, I will treat her right”

“I doubt that Jaehyun. She loves me”

Jaehyun’s threat scared the shit out of Johnny if he’s being honest. And putting up a straight face in front of Jaehyun was hard, Johnny knew he is capable of getting you back. The fact that you two slept together again is a good sighn for Jaehyun already, and Johnny is scared to the bone right now. He took the earliest flight to Chicago after a week and he will find you and do everything just to win you back.

It’s a busy day for you and tonight you can impress your boss and show him what you’ve got. The Art Institute of Chicago will held a public screening by morning until after and a private screening on the evening. You mentally cheer for yourself as you read notes and guidelines for today’s event, nervous but you’re sure as hell you can do it.

Just as you’re finished for the first part of your work, your high heels is killing you right now so you decided to get out of the crowd and rest your feet some place quieter. As you stretch your feet and grunt for a few times, you saw someone standing in front of Claud Monet’s Water Lilies.

“Good evening sir, unfortunately this is a private screening-“

“Oh sorry, I didn’t know that. But I do know someone special to me that Claude Monet is her favorite artist. She scans her father’s books and she found countless of pictures of Monet’s landscape works, and she tries to copy it. That’s how you started to love art.”

You told him that story on one of those peaceful nights back in your room before senior year even starts. Not expecting him to remember that stupid story of you decided you wanted to pursue art. That was the first time you opened up to Johnny and told him more personal stuff about you.

“h-hi, I really didn’t know that this is a private screening. I just wanted to see you, watch you work from a far and talk when your work is done”

“No, it’s fine. Though I should get back, sorry” you walk away from him and try to hurry back to the event but suddenly you felt like crying. You love Johnny with all your heart but the relationship you had right now is complicated and you want to fix it so bad but you don’t know how to. With big steps and not minding your tortured feet, you came back to Johnny and hugged him. “I’ll be right back baby. This won’t take long”

Johnny didn’t want to let you go, he just wanted to hug you and keep you close. He kissed your forehead and watched you walk away from him with tears on your eyes and a big smile. Mouthing him that you’ll be back.

After a long day at the art institute and in Johnny’s case having a long flight, you two entered your apartment with lips never leaving each other. “I miss you so much” Johnny said in between kisses, keeping you close to him.

You feel him unbutton your shirt but you stopped him. Breathing heavily as you pull away from him and hold his hand down, “lets talk, yeah? I have to tell you something” you walk towards the kitchen and made you two coffee first. Johnny grew silent waiting for you to talk, completely clueless that you’re having a hard time constructing your sentence.

“Is this about Jaehyun?”

You stopped what you’re doing and turned to face him, “how did you-“

“We talked, man to man. And I want you to know that it hurt me but, I don’t care. I’m crazy in love about you y/n, I know you are too. And right now what we have is complicated but look where we are right now? We fucked up because were not perfect, lust is lust and we both learned that the hard way” it hurts Johnny to watch you cry in front of him but he can’t move his legs. Like you he’s overwhelmed and full of emotions, he wanted to give you some air. “I bet you were thinking about me when you two did it, because I did when I did it when Karen”

You nod without hesitating, reaching in for him because you feel weak and Johnny catches you with a tight hug. “I’m sorry baby, I started this that’s why I’m fixing it. If you want me get on my knees and apologise I will do it, just to win back” he said with a hoarse voice, whimpering like a child. It almost didn’t sound like Johnny because you see him as this tough guy but now he’s just vulnerable.

“What are you talking about, I’m the who messed up big time. I’m sorry too can you give me another chance?” tears fall down to your face and it’s getting hard to talk because of your heavy crying. But Johnny was giggling in front of you admiring how cute you are right now. Giving you a soft kiss that tastes salty because of tears.

There’s a saying that sometimes we have to kiss the wrong man to know what’s right. In your case, you have to fall hard and fucked up so bad to realise that you want to be with Johnny forever. What you and Johnny had was real and you learned it the hard way.

Of course it was not that easy to start again but one thing is for sure, you’re crazy about each other and you love each other deeply. Setting boundaries and fixing the mess you two made was the hardest part of it. Johnny took care of Karen already and the girl says sorry, you scoff at that thought, “If I see her around the campus, I’m gonna slap the shit out of her” you told Johnny with all your might knowing perfectly well what you’re capable of. He was happy you’re back at being his protective girlfriend.

“Speaking of violence, I might kill Jaehyun if that’s the case baby” he scoffed and pour himself another cup of coffee. Johnny wouldn’t dare ruin your relationship with Jaehyun just because you slept with him, he wanted you to take care of it yourself without him meddling.

“yeah well, no shit” you yawn in front of him, “don’t you have hospital duty?” he shook his head and put your mug on the sink. He stood in between your legs and carried you using his strength, keeping your legs around his waist. He kept on whispering apologies to you, sweet apologies that warms your heart and tighten your hug placing you on the bed gently, “can I sleep here?”

“Of course Johnny. Never leave me”

He let out a soft chuckle and lay beside you, “Never again”

The next day you woke up without Johnny by your side. You’re starting to think that maybe it was a dream? But you smell fresh coffee and toasted bread with butter or maybe that was grilled cheese.

“Good morning, sorry you woke up alone. I had to go to the farmers market” you hugged him from behind, kissing his muscular back “Now, I’m not a good cook like Jaehyun but you always loved my coffee, here” he hands you your hot coffee and asked for a good morning kiss that you happily gave.

“Do you have work today?” he asked looking at your morning face admiring your messy hair and swollen face.

“Nope. What do you have in mind”

“Meet my parents today?” you almost spit your coffee when you hear him say that.

The whole car drive was full of questions about his parents mainly because you have no idea what they’re like. Johnny was amused at how worried you were even though he’s confident they’re going to love you. “How many girls did you introduce to them already?” you asked Johnny nervously watching him laugh at your serious question, “You’re the first. I told you, you’re my first love- will you stop worrying? Look there they are” he waved at them happily as you smiled to his parents, waiting for Johnny to finish parking the car.

First impression to his mother, well she looks nothing like the one you imagined. You can’t believe you imagined your boyfriend’s mom as someone who will stare you down the moment she meets you. In reality, Johnny’s mom is bubbly and she welcomed you with a warm hug the moment you got out of the car. Johnny’s dad looked a lot like him and also welcomed you with a warm hug and a big smile his eyes almost disappears, “come inside, the food is ready”

Johnny’s home is comfortable. A normal asian household in a neighbourhood in Chicago. The dinner is set at a patio in their backyard, every food you see at the table are made by Johnny’s parents. The Seos are funny people, all three of them made you laugh the whole dinner. Telling you stories about Johnny’s childhood and mostly talked about how they love their son. It’s really heart warming because you feel the level of intensity of their love for Johnny and you understand them because you love Johnny too.

“Are you enjoying The Art Institute of Chicago?” Mrs. Seo asked you as she watches you cut the cake and put a piece first on Johnny’s plate. She was watching you the whole time. How you talk to Johnny, how you smile at him, how you answer their questions with respect. She thinks you’re a natural when it comes to caring for her son and that he’s in good hands, and it gives her great relief.

“Yes ma’am, I enjoy every second of it. Though it’s hard to impress my boss and earn a permanent spot at the institute but, I’m getting there and I won’t stop” you gave her a piece too then Mr. Seo. From there on, Johnny couldn’t stop talking about you in front of his parents, he even told them how you clean your apartment spotless.

Meeting Johnny’s family was fun, they were cool parents and you’re positive Johnny got his wits from his mom. Back then you wonder why Johnny is such a gentleman to you but now you know the answer to that question. His dad is a natural sweet guy and a real gentleman. Looking at them made you think that love is real and maybe for the next 30 years that’s going to be you and Johnny.

When it’s time to go home already his parents walked you and Johnny to the car. “If Johnny doesn’t marry you I will seriously get mad” Mrs. Seo whispered beside you letting Johnny and Mr. Seo walk pass you two. You giggled at what she said to you, it makes your heart happy that she likes you. You and Johnny waved goodbye to his parents and gave them hugs before you two leave. “I told you they’d love you” Johnny holds your hand while he drives and kissed your left hand too many times because he can’t kiss you on the lips.

The moment you got back to your apartment you went straight to the bathroom and took a shower leaving Johnny at the living room couch as he rest. While you were busy taking a shower, Johnny messaged Jaehyun and sent him a picture of you and his parents laughing together over dinner.

Johnny: [attached picture] I win. This has to stop Jaehyun. I’m going to propose to her after graduation.

“hey baby, go take a shower while I finish up here” you invited Johnny inside your bathroom, accepting your offer a little too excited. You were busy brushing your teeth when Johnny made his way to the shower trying not to peak at your boyfriend’s gorgeous body. He likes singing in the shower and you love listening to his beautiful voice while you dry your hair. When he got out wet and hot, his lower body is covered with a thick towel but the bulge on his crotch is still visible. And he’s big.

Johnny stood behind you watching you put lotion through the mirror with loving eyes, “What?” you asked him, turning around to put a smaller towel on top of his head and you start drying his hair. Making sure to tiptoe so you’re able to reach him. His hands travel down to your covered ass keeping you close to his body you could smell the shower gel from his skin. Playing with the hem of your panties you smirk at him because he’s too predictable but you can tell he’s stopping himself, “put it inside” giving him consent without looking at him.

Following what you said, he squeezed and kneads both of your ass cheeks until you’re finished drying his hair. Giving him a peck on the lips and walked out of the bathroom. You turned on the lamp shade and jumped right in your comfortable bed, waiting for Johnny to get dressed but he has other plans.

“Why are you just standing there and staring at me looking so sexy with that towel wrapped around your waist. Come on, get dressed already and come to bed” you whine and watch him walk on the edge of the bed looking like a lost god inside your room.

Removing his towel in front of you, his eyes never leave yours but yours left his to look at his hard cock. “It’s not fair that I’m the only one naked here” he whispered so sexily beside your ear and eventually bitting the shell of your ear. Hands helping you to remove your shirt and panties without a rush. Pushing you down on the mattress as he spread soft kisses around your neck, shoulders and lips.

“I got tested last week”

With wide eyes you pull away from him just enough to look at him clearly and check if he’s saying the truth. “And?” your heart beats so fast as you wait for his answer, hoping for some good news.

“I think I rather show you than tell you. Hmm?”

“Fuck Johnny!” you shouted at him showing your happiness tears pooling on the corner of your eye.

“Yes, that’s what were going to do all night”

You hugged him tight until he tells you he needs air, pulling him on top of you letting him put all of his weight on your body. He’s fucking heavy but you don’t care. Too happy and excited about the great news you kiss him down to the mattress and waited for yourself to relax. Putting him under your spell as you made your way on top of him, Johnny felt cheated and quick to grab your body closer to him as he switch positions with you so easily. “Uh-uh. I’m on top, you can have second round”

His hands are quick to travel around your body, making a trail of wet kisses from your lips down to your lower abdomen. Stopping yourself to moan a little to louder because it’s been too long since Johnny touched you, only he can make your whole body sensitive. “Let it out, I love hearing you and you know that”

Big hands are caressing both of your thighs as you spread your legs in front of him so he can kneel between you. Going back to kiss your lips, putting his right arm in between your bodies, “were like virgins” you both chuckle at what he said but yours turned into a long moan when you feel him play with your slit, feeling his finger spread your juices and make your pussy more wet.

Even though foreplay is not new for the both of you, deep inside you’re both nervous. Nervous because finally tonight you two will have sex and the excitement is balling up in your bodies. Kneeling in between your legs again, Johnny moved intentionally slow and took his time with you. Thinking about how he doesn’t want to fuck you like how he fucked other girls.

He lifts your right leg gently, feeling your soft skin on his hands and placing kisses on your leg and shin. “This is the first time that I get nervous for sex… I’m just full of love for you I don’t know how to start. But oh the amount of things I want to do with you, baby” it is indeed surprising to see Johnny so nervous in bed and what he said to you made you smile beneath him.

“Don’t smile like that, you don’t know what your smile does to me” he kissed your leg again softly, placing it above his shoulders and leaning down close to you until you’re chest to chest. Johnny’s head perfectly rest on your left shoulder kissing it and your neck as he pleases. He lines his cock to your entrance pushing in slowly making you feel his veiny cock stretch your cunt for the first time. You hiss from hurt of the stretch gasping sharply as your arms swings around Johnny’s. Breathing fast and sharp near his ear, raking his soft hair as you feel all of him.

Neither of you can’t believe that Johnny is inside you. He told you how you feel so warm around him, incredibly tight and wet. How he wants to go deeper inside you but he doesn’t want to hurt you. Like you, he is breathing deeply and sharply near your ear whispering those words to you and kissing you more to tell you he means it.

While Johnny was whispering you sweet and dirty words, you focus on what you’re feeling down there and wonder how did it fit inside you. He has a big cock that’s for sure. Johnny continues to push in slowly, it’s so big you let out a soft ‘ouch’ and ‘ow’ from time to time. He loves the sound of it.

“Am I hurting you?” he stopped for a second and you nod your head breathing heavily. “Good” he said with a smirk and went back to pushing in his cock. “You sure Jaehyun fucked you good all those years?” you pinched his nipples with all your strength while you take his cock, making him whine and turned on even more. At least you made him shut up about Jaehyun.

This is it. Grunts and moans surrounds the room the moment he started rolling his hips. Kissing you to let you know how he’s getting addicted by how you feel so good around him.

You let out the word, “big” with airy and breathy tone giving you more hard and slow thrusts so you will never forget this moment. Hitting you deep inside, he double his pace until your boobs bounce and your nipples brush on his chest making you moan louder. You reach for Johnny’s soft lips to shut yourself up and kiss him while taking those thrusts but pulling away eventually to let out a moan.

“Johnny- oh fuck! nipples, so sensitive touch them please” with no questions asked his free hand goes to your left nipple pinching it and gripping your boob just the way you like it. The position of your leg on top of Johnny’s shoulder is making you crazy, it hits perfectly deep on the spot where it feels so good.

You put your point finger inside Johnny’s mouth letting his tongue play with it until your satisfied, looking straight into his eyes as you removed your finger and transfer it in your mouth, “that’s hot” he groaned and bit your left nipple

Locking eyes with you as he put down your leg kissing you hungrily as you swing back your arms around his neck wrapping your leg around his waist. You can feel his hard abs against your stomach as he thrust still with that unbelievable pace, thinking about how hot what it is you’re doing with your boyfriend right now just simply puts you on edge.

“Johnny- huuuhh!” you call him out and part your lips, telling him that you’re about to cum as you shut your eyes and furrow your brows.

“I know baby, I know. Fuck you look so hot right now”

Both on edge and ready to let go, Johnny managed to pull away from you to grip your waist with both hands. Lifting your hips from the mattress unconsciously as he continues to give you quick and hard thrusts. “Fuck dont stop!” gripping the sheets as you let go and clench your pussy for as far as you can hold.

Watching you shiver beneath him and enjoy your high while he’s still catching for his sweet release is like an accomplishment for him. Shooting his cum inside you, Johnny whimpers loudly and moans your name with heavy breaths and sharp gasps.

You clear your throat and reach for him, “Kiss me Johnny.” As you devour each other’s lips again, Johnny’s thrust became slow and relaxed just perfect to remind you that he’s inside you still.

“Johnny, I can’t feel my legs”

That made him finally stop moving but still not pulling out. “Mind if I stay in for a while?”

Arms flying around him again to push him closer to you, loving how Johnny feels inside you. “I don’t mind baby, stay forever”

As always, you two finish the night with a lot of kisses. Soft, gentle, rough hungry kisses all night long until you two get tired and sleep naked, hands intertwined and happy that you two finally made love.

…………………………………………. Masterlist

I told myself I will stop making Johnny fics and give chance to other members but here I go again. Forgive me, he’s not even my ult :(( haha Anyway, thank you for reading this! This has been the longest thing I’ve ever written and I will never write a love triangle fic ever again. hahahha kidding. I got the inspiration from this photo, hahaa Jaehyun looked so handsome here like ‘boi who u textin huh’

453 notes · View notes

rouiyan · 4 years

Text

𝘔𝘠 𝘗𝘜𝘊𝘒 𝘐𝘕 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘎𝘖𝘈𝘓 [ 𝘭.𝘥𝘩 ]

⧏ hyuck’s installment of the keep your cool collective ⧐

synopsis: you’ve decided that the boy in ‘66’ is yours.

✧ ice hockey player!hyuck x (fem.) reader x ice hockey player!jeno + best friend!renjun

✧ genres : fluff, minor angst ✧ word count : 2.3k ✧ disclaimer : swearing

✧ author’s note — finally my brain had the gall to pull through with this idea but i'm left with the realization that all my hyuck fics are just him simping for u.

hyuck internally sighs, his head ringing and ankles sore, as the buzzer goes off, signaling the end of the third round. he’s almost elated, even though he’s sure his team hasn’t won, by just the fact that the game is over. hyuck is by no means sick of ice hockey but lately, the mere idea of it drives him into exhaustion. as he turns to expect the disappointed stare of his coach, he’s surprised when he’s met with a halfhearted smirk. weird, the coach should know more than anyone how lazily this game had played out. but then, as an afterthought, he checks the scoreboard and realizes with an oh shit, that they were tied with the opposing team, somehow.

his line of vision is parting from the board when he makes unfortunate eye contact with the person entering the rink. your hair is pulled back with a pale pink scrunchie and your outfit is a certified mess of oversized hoodie and sweat shorts upon white sneakers. he can quite literally feel the heat that is quick to rush to his cheeks, unfailing to hide his flustered state. he knows he looks stupid but he still can't help but stare and ogle at new and blatant eye candy as she crosses the threshold into the cold space. half your figure is now covered by the wall that separates the stands with the rink though it doesn't matter because he's still equally enamoured by simply your presence.

"hyuck, why you staring at y/n?"

hyuck can only wince inwardly as he stutters out, "that's- that's y/n?" it seems unfair that renjun's been hoarding such a pretty specimen to himself. "like your best friend, y/n?"

"yeah, what about her?"

"br-bro, you never mentioned that she was pretty."

"hey, don't even think about it. you're the last possible person i'd set her up with. plus, she's with jeno, they went on a date after practice last time, remember?"

there's an underlying disappointment in donghyuck's tone when he's only able to produce a soft, "oh," because frankly he doesn't know why he's so worked up over someone who he's never even met and that's also dating one of his close teammates. amidst his confused trance, he almost fails to notice his coach call for a pre-game huddle.

he ends up tuning out most of it, now distracted by how jeno keeps glancing back at you and making funny faces, you returning them with the! cutest! little expressions he has ever had the pleasure to lay his eyes upon. the rest of the game is played out with enthusiasm on his part, even going so far as scoring in two more points. he's quick to doubt the truth but donghyuck knows that it's whoever that girl is in the front seats that's making him outdo himself.

the game ends and his team wins, claps and cheers at how the game had turned around in their favor, but donghyuck reverts into a sulky demeanor as soon as he's off the rink and into the locker rooms. he notices jeno, being quick and almost feisty with the other boys that are taking too long for his liking in hogging the showers. donghyuck assumes it has something to do with the (gorgeous, wtf) girl that's waiting on him for a date. hardly fair, he thinks, if only he'd met you earlier by chance, he knows he'd definitely have the ability to charm you out of your wits. after all, he's smart, his face is undeniably agreeable, his sense of humor is top notch, and well, what's not to like?

instead of getting closer to you as he so hoped he would, he ends up becoming more familiar with the routine disappointment, and yet delight, at seeing you show up after practices, games, and eventually, team gatherings outside the rink. he's okay with it, he thinks. but it becomes frequent, even, that you show up out of the blue, with the invitation from jeno, and he's starting to lose his cool when it comes to the simplest of interactions. being included in a conversation with you was no problem, as long as he wasn't talking. eye contact? bearable, but not for more than half a second. and the utmost unfortunate luck for the boy if you ever asked him to pass you a fork, or a spoon, or a goddamned napkin.

he's not so sure anymore, one sullen night, that he could ever make you his, even if he was gifted the chance. when you're not by jeno's side, you're by renjun's, and if that isn't telling enough about how uncomfy you feel around everyone else, he wouldn't know any better. but even laying within the deepest, darkest parts of night, the screen on his phone displaying your more recent instagram post of you on jeno's back, a sun setting beach painted behind the two of you, he finds his heart yearning to know more about you. he knows you're not one to reach out, to make friends unless in a situation that calls for it, so he supposes now is as good as a time as any to shoot his shot, at being friends.

he braves himself for this hefty task. his breaths are ragged and his heart is already hammering a deep crater inside his chest at just the thought of following through with his plan. his fingers are shaking and his pupils are twitting at about the same pace and it appears that none of his bodily functions seem to be within his control anymore. but before he can press the button, his door is thunked wide open with a hard force, the handle even going so far as to lodge itself neatly into the wall that's now been broken through. donghyuck's mouth is hanging ajar but he's barely surprised to see that the culprit of such heinous and costly action is jeno. lee jeno.

donghyuck makes swift and subtle actions to shove his phone underneath his pillow but when he takes a good look at the boy's face, he realizes that he didn't need to be so discrete in the first place. jeno's eyes are swollen, and not in the way that suggests he got into a big manly manly fight and came out the victor, but in the way that looks as if his three cats died, all at once, and he'd taken it upon himself to cry for each of their mothers respectively.

the same eyes rove about the room before settling on the bed, his body following suit but moving as if it were part of another entity entirely. the mattress sinks down low with his body weight and he repositions himself so that he's laying down comfortably, his legs still hung over and down the side. donghyuck can hear jeno's ragged breaths, not unlike his own a minute ago, and he wonders what hell of a day the boy had had to render him into this state of numbed consciousness. but before he can even form the question that sits at the edge of his mind, jeno's voice reverberates lowly in the silence of the room.

"she broke up with me," donghyuck blinks purposefully, "something 'bout how she thinks she might like someone else, fucking bastard."

"is she the bastard?" donghyuck tries to disassociate his feelings from his words and come across as...helpful in lifting his friend's mood.

jeno chuckles, "no, hyuck, she's not the bastard. bastard's the guy who has her heart. i'm glad she told me though, she's never been one to hide things."

"yeah, would've been worse if she dragged it on, huh."

"yeah, a lot worse."

donghyuck's voice almost gets caught within the confines of his rationality, "did she tell you who he- the bastard is?" he sighs inwardly, knowing that this was none of his business whatsoever, but the desire to know seeps into his thoughts.

jeno sighs as well, "no, not really. she said it was some boy on the team though, might even be you now that i think about it."

"oh," is, yet again, the only thing he is able to produce.

the new revelations seem to give life to donghyuck. the mere idea that there's a possibility of interest in his direction is something that he thrives off of. mundane tasks like washing the dishes are now enjoyable hobbies, no actual brain work, head empty, thoughts of you exclusively. when it comes to practice, you're no longer there, your presence reduced to hushed talk between the boys and renjun, asking him if you really are the reason jeno's been so out of it, letting easy pucks into the goal left and right. hyuck is relieved, though, that he gets a break, a step back to rethink his crazed emotions. maybe it really was just simple infatuation. maybe it was just because he hadn't gotten laid in awhile. or even just the fact that he's been hanging out with the boys too much and that the first girl he set his eyes on in days ultimately became the protagonist to his daydreams. hell, he is especially glad that you decided it wasn't worth showing your face at the rink for the time being for jeno would've been downright devastated.

that whole paragraph of feelings is bluntly disregarded and thrown off track as he enters the corner cafe a few blocks down from his house and is met with you waving your hand excitedly at him and motioning for him to sit with you. he doesn't hesitate, of course, but makes sure he takes slow and deliberate steps to the window booth you're sitting at just to make sure he at least gets in four deep breaths before he is inevitably subjected to not breathing in your presence.

"hyuck, it's been awhile, i hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable or anything," your face morphs into an expression of realization as it hits you that calling him over was entirely to satisfy your own hopes and dreams. the boy sitting across from you, smiling lightly, might as well be feigning a pleasant disposition, grossed out by the girl that dumped his friend just because she thought she was interested in someone else. by the end of this thought, your voice is reduced to a timid pitch, "you can leave if you want, it's all good."

"actually, i think that it'd be more uncomfortable for you if i left." he feels his heart constrict at the sight and the knowledge that his words enlightened your composure. you take it upon yourself to start some light conversation, not wanting to disclose the reason you'd called him over in the first place just yet. your heart picks up pace, rivaling hyuck's own, and you can't help but think of the sheer likeliness of the luck you'd just encountered. just as you decided to brave up for once and not take advantage of your best friend setting you up on one too many blind dates that were just, too artificial for you, the boy whom you had taken a liking for had shown up before your eyes, breezing through those glass doors as if it were a sign for you to just take charge.

"and i was telling him-"

"are you free friday?"

"what? oh, what?!"

"i'm asking if you're free friday."

"i- i mean yeah, i have practice at three, but i'm free afterwards."

"let's grab dinner together then."

"oh shoot, okay, like with the boys? 'cause i could ask them if they're down."

"no, i was hoping it could be just us. like a date."

"so, hold the fuck up, you're asking me out on a date?"

"yeah, why…? am i not allowed to do that? is going out on a date with me gonna break bro code or something?"

"n- no, nothing like that. it's just...you can't possibly be serious."

"oh, trust me, i'm dead serious."

"...holy shit, i'm in."

donghyuck fucks up big time at practice, his cheeks are way too hot and he's sweating gallons per second. his jaw is clenching and unclenching in hopes that the action might make him a little more attentive while on ice but instead, he finds his eyes roving over to your figure in the stands far more often than he'd like to admit. he thinks, no he hopes, that jeno is okay with the fact that you're not here for him but rather the 'boy on the team' he'd unknowingly referred to a few months back. hyuck knows, though, that renjun is definitely not okay with it, the aforementioned boy throwing just as many glares at hyuck as hyuck's many glances towards you.

practice is over long after he hoped it would be but you're patient and supportive nonetheless. his eyes crinkle and his smile widens as you sidle into him for warmth in the cool air of the ice rink. hyuck solves this by removing the hoodie from his own, accustomed body, and gently tugs it over your shivering one. he thinks he handles the wave of adoration that consumes him pretty well, even able to ease the corners of his lips down a tad bit. "you're cute," you pull at his cheeks and suddenly things are not so easy to handle.

donghyuck does eventually get used to all the sneaky shit you pull just to get his ears red and shy smile blossoming, but he knows he'll never get used to the sight of you in the stands, adorning his spare 66 jersey with everything else fading, and fading further away until it's just you and him, and him and you.

✧ end note — i hope you find someone that holds you in such high esteem as hyuck does in this fic, i'm sure you deserve it <3

#dreamwritersnet #neowritingsnet #nct-writers #nct haechan #haechanxreader #haechan fluff #haechan fics #nct scenarios #rouiyan fics #rouiyan writes

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spookybias · 4 years

Text

ᝰ frozen ideals | park sunghoon ˎˊ˗

paring: park sunghoon x gender neutral! reader

genre: slice of life ─ fluff, slight angst

content: idol! sunghoon x figure skater! reader, more than friends but less than lovers au, i ramble a bit about what a home is.

synopsis: sunghoon revisits the ice rink, and after seeing you, begins to have doubts on what he really wants in life.

word count: 2.7k

note: this only took a couple of days, so it’s not my best work. i kind of overdid it i guess? this was supposed to be short, but i just couldn’t stop. i also cried while writing a couple of paragraphs of this lol. one more thing, i’m not the best with endings, so i’m not sure if you guys will understand it. it is happy, though.

SUNGHOON DIDN'T VISIT THE ICE RINK AS OFTEN AS HE BEFORE. During his figure skating career, he was often at the ice rink at least 3-4 times a week. Sometimes before school hours, other times after school hours, and many times during school hours. If he thought his life as a professional figure skater was busy, his belief had changed once advancing from trainee to applicant to contestant, and finally, to idol.

Sunghoon’s time was divided between training, schoolwork, competitions, and every now and then, interviews.

His schedule was now made up of all the tasks of a predebut idol. There were photoshoots, interviews, and vocal and dance practices to attend. His free time was given away, -but only out of love for his fans- to sudden vlive sessions and random social media updates. he rarely ever had time to himself nowadays, as even what was left after all of his daily routines and weekly events was often used to eat, freshen up, and rest. And none of this would compare to the schedule that was to come once him and the boys made their debut.

There were times where he thought back to his days on the ice; what would life be like if he hadn’t quit figure skating?

It had been a long time since he had visited the ice rink, and while all the other boys used their one free day off in a while to visit their family back home, or to hang out with their old friends at their favorite place, Sunghoon found himself back at the ice rink. But who’s to say that this favorite place of his that he spent many times at alone, wasn’t his home?

Home isn’t where you live. No, that was your apartment, your house, your condo or your space at the shelter, maybe even the streets. Home is the place that provides you with a sense of security, an overwhelming amount of happiness, a much more avaliable version of cloud 9. Even when you’ve been there twenty times in one week, forty times in one month, the place still feels like a new visit each time. That’s a home.

Often, it isn’t what you do at said place that makes it a home. It’s the safe space founded by the very things about that place that make you happy. The angle at which the lights hit, the background noise that boasts behind you when you’re having fun, the people inhabiting the environment. All these things still feel new, but recognizable every time you visit.

This was the case for Park Sunghoon. You were his safe space.

The ice rink was nearly empty except for you, your coach, and the advisor who kept watch to make sure there weren’t any mishaps in the rink. This wasn’t meant to be a private meeting. You almost always arrived as soon as the rink opened, and so there were never really people there.

Sunghoon had shown up out of the blue after waking up with a sudden urge to visit the rink. It wasn’t until he stood in the seating area, looking over the frost, did he realize how much he missed. He remembered the goosebumps that grazed his skin when the chilly air hit his bare arms and the numb feeling you get on your butt when you land on it after falling back.

He longed for it all, but maybe not enough to quit his new career.

You noticed the lanky boy outside the rink after landing a toe loop. You were a skater, sure, but you weren’t the most coordinated one. You had often made it to competitions with Sunghoon, but you wouldn’t ever make it as far as he did. Still, you loved ice skating, and you would only get better.

That being said, you hadn’t gotten better just yet and were easily distracted. Skidding to a halt, you cheerfully waved to Sunghoon. “Hi, Hoonie!” That meant your eyes were off the cracking ice in front of you, and you tripped, flying forward.

Sunghoon rushed out onto the ice, panic gracing his features. He was accustomed to the ice, and carefully but quickly made it to you in his converse.

“____, are you okay?” Sunghoon didn’t wait for an answer, wrapping one of your arms around his neck and hoisting you up bridal style. “I haven’t seen you in months, and when I finally do I cause an accident.” He shook his head.

You chuckled at his self-disappointment. You waited for him to put you down on the bleachers before telling him, “It wasn’t that big of a deal Sunghoon. I’ve fallen hundreds of times. Ninety out of a hundred of those times, you weren’t there to help me.”

“If it was no big deal, then why did you need me to carry you off the ice?”

You smiled mockingly, eyes shut tight and lips pressed together, a compressed smile at its finest. “I didn’t. I just wanted a free ride.”

Sunghoon shook his head, laughing. His laugh was light like a feather, quiet like a baby’s snore. “You always were lazy,” He replied jokingly.

“Hey! I’ve been practicing really hard! Someone has to take your place, remember? And you’re not here to coach me anymore.”

It was true. After word got around that the Park Sunghoon had quit his career as a professional figure skater, everyone in you guys’ age range seemed to be fighting to be known as the best. For awhile, Sunghoon offered you tips and techniques for mastering his most known tricks. You were someone dear to him, and even when you guys were competing against each other, he secretly hoped you’d do better than him.

The young boy only got busier, though, and could no longer help you train.

“____!” You were snapped out of your conversation by your coach, Eunkyung. She walked up to the two of you. The way she eyed Sunghoon -a look of disbelief mixed with digust- made you gulp. “Stop fooling around. He isn’t here to train you anymore, therefore, he’s wasting valuable time.”

You knew how Eunkyung felt towards Sunghoon. She had dreams of making it as big as him when she was the same age, but couldn’t due to financial situations. Seeing someone who had everything she wanted in a figure skating career give it all up irked her soul. She had openly voiced her opinions on Park Sunghoon to you and the other trainees.

“Please, Eunkyung.” You begged in a low voice, but Sunghoon could still hear. Something about you begging Eunkyung to let him stay made his heart flutter. “We hardly see each other anymore. I really missed him.”

That was it. Sunghoon’s ears were suddenly on fire. When had you gotten so bold?

“Fine. Thirty minutes. Don’t expect another break today because this is the only one you’ll be getting.” Eunkyung walked off muttering something about ungrateful teens and the next competition being in three weeks.

You began to move from the bench Sunghoon had dropped you off at, but immediately sat back down, a hiss escaping your lips.

“You said you were fine.” Sunghoon placed a protective hand on your shoulder, as if the pain was a person making their way towards you.

“I am fine.” You stared out onto the ice trying to wiggle out the static shooting through your leg.

“That isn’t the kind of sound people make when they’re fine, ____. I’ll get Eunkyung.”

“No.” Your voice was firm. “It’s just a cramp, Sunghoon. You know figure skaters get cramps.”

Sunghoon stood quietly, looking down at you, but you avoided eye contact. “Okay.”

“I get them a lot. Eunkyung says it’s because I don’t stretch enough beforehand. We used to stretch together, remember? But you’re not here anymore so I forget.” The statement sounded more spiteful than you intended.

Sunghoon wondered if you were mad at him, and hiding your anger with fake excitement towards seeing him again. Did you secretly wish that he had never come back?

You kept bringing up the past and reminding him that he wasn’t around anymore. It was times like these where he questioned what he really wanted.

The two of you sat in silence. Just basking in each other’s existence was enough. That’s what was so mesmerizing about your friendship. Sometimes all the two of you did was sit next to each other, and it felt like so much fun.

“It’s been awhile, huh, ice prince?” You broke the silence and smiled playfully. “Did you miss me?” Your tone was teasing when you asked, but deep down you knew that if the answer was no your heart would shatter.

Sunghoon didn’t bother to even fight back. “Yeah, I did.” He liked it when you called him ice prince. It could get him to admit anything. It could even make him admit he was in love with you, but you didn’t need to know that.

“You never text me anymore.” He couldn’t figure out if it was a normal statement or a sad one. “I know you’re busy, though.” He exhaled being grateful for that add-on. “What’s it like?”

“I love it.” Sunghoon simply stated. You hardly even finished asking the question when he had answered. “It’s a lot of work, and sometimes I can’t believe I made it, but I love it.”

“You love Jake especially too, right?” You teased.

Sunghoon rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”

“You know I’m kidding,” You shook your head, laughing. Sunghoon missed hearing your laugh. The audio recordings from old videos of you two together just weren’t enough for him anymore.

“You know you’re the only…” Sunghoon trailed off and looked away. Talking about his feelings for you was difficult for him. It was difficult for you too. You didn’t need him to finish his sentence. Of course, you often needed reassurance that you hadn’t been replaced, but just the first few words of his statement were enough. You knew what he meant.

He was the only one for you too.

“Do you think what I’m doing is right?” Sunghoon suddenly questioned. For some reason he was holding back a sob, and he wasn’t sure why.

You stared at a scrape in the ice for a moment, before finally turning to the boy of your dreams. “Yes.” You nodded your head, smiling. “I watch your vlives and read your interviews and I retweet all your photos and cheer on all your moments.”

A single tear slipped down your cheek. You were happy for Sunghoon, but it hurt that he was doubting his desires after a long time of trying to prove himself.

You continued, “Sometimes my friends tell me I’m whipped, but I’m just really happy for you, Hoonie. So please don’t doubt yourself.”

Sunghoon was glad that only one tear had escaped. He didn’t want you to cry over him. “There are days where I try to imagine what life would be like if I was still here. Skating with you and everyone else.”

You replied almost instantly. “Well stop imagining those things. You’re not here anymore. You can’t let what you thought you wanted interfere with what you really want. You didn’t leave anyone or anything behind. It’s not like you forgot about this place. We still love you, and we’re rooting for you and always have been. You spent so long trying to prove yourself to everybody. Don’t let those years be in vein. If you quit, I swear I’ll-”

“I’m not going to quit.” Sunghoon stopped you. “If you’re proud of me, then I must be doing the right thing.”

You let out a breath and smiled, turning away from the boy once again. “Ideals change, ice prince. You’re allowed to change.”

Sunghoon looked over at you, noting how you avoided eye contact. He found it really cute. “Thank you, ____.” The two of you shared a smile, and then Sunghoon looked down to your left leg. “How is it? Is the cramp gone?”

You stood up, wiggled your left foot, and hopped on your left leg for good measure. “Yep! Think we can go around the rink for a bit before my break is up?”

Sunghoon’s cheeks turned pink. “Are you asking me out?”

You tightened your laces and laughed. “I would never."

SUNGHOON SKATED BESIDE YOU. This wasn’t a date. Despite your hands clasped together tightly but comfortably and the statements shared between the two of you earlier, you and Sunghoon were not a thing. The two of you were just a couple of friends who almost had something due to your shared interest and quiet bonding. You loved each other and it wasn’t complicated, but it was uncharted territory neither of you were ready to enter.

You skidded to a stop. “I’ve been practicing really hard,” You told Sunghoon again. You skated circles around him. “Eunkyung says that with a couple more months of training, I can make it farther than you ever did.”

“Is that a threat?” Sunghoon began following after you, the two of you facing each other, skating sideways to form a small circle around the spot you guys had just been standing in.

“Yes, it is.” You stuck your tongue out at him. “But seriously. It’s so much work ‘cause you’re known for doing the most.” You rolled your eyes, remembering the countless laps Eunkyung made you skate around the ice rink. You brightened up when you remembered something else. “I’ve been getting a lot better at salchows, though, which we all know I am terrible at. Look.”

Sunghoon watched in amazement as you skated around the rink, performing salchows over and over again. Your landings were a little slopping, but you could easily fix that.

“I wanna show you something else before you go.” Suddenly Sunghoon remembered that he had to leave soon, as your break would be up, and he had to see his mother in a bit. He followed you out the ice rink.

You opened your backpack, which Sunghoon had just now noticed was left out on the bleachers. He would have to remind you not to do that. If the rink got crowded, someone could steal your stuff. You pulled out a black notebook and handed it to Sunghoon.

He opened the notebook, puzzled at the lines and numbers all over the pages along with little doodles. However, his confusion went away once he realized that the little doodles were diagrams of figure skating tricks, and the lines and numbers all matched up to physics calculations.

“After you left, I honestly forgot a lot of your tips. It was hard using your methods without you being around to coach me.” You looked down at your hands. “I take physics in school, so I’ve been using it to help me with figure skating.”

Sunghoon was in awe. In his mind, he had been selfish to keep wishing he could be back at the rink just to help you. If he had stayed, he would just be stopping you from finding your own techniques, from realizing your full potential. He now realized that he didn’t have to keep worrying about if you were okay. You were doing just fine without him, and although that thought would be negative to most, Sunghoon was proud of you.

“____, this is amazing.”

“You don’t think it’s nerdy?”

“Of course not. You’re a genius,” Sunghoon stated. The embarrassment that had just filled your senses was quickly replaced by fluster. “Um, thanks, Hoonie.”

The two of you continued to flip through the book together, you pointing out tiny notes that you wanted Sunghoon to see, and him asking questions and nodding his head in intrigue. Sunghoon flipped to the most recent diagram, and examined the page.

“What’s this?” Sunghoon pointed to a diagram of a trick he had never seen before.

“Oh! Eunkyung says that if I want to stand out I should combine a couple of moves and form my own tricks, and name them something cool. I need to show the judges how I stand out from the other contestants.” You looked over the page, and caught a small note in your handwriting. Suddenly feeling nervous, you tried to change the subject. “Uh, why don’t we skate some more.”

Sunghoon glanced at you before scanning the page once more. And then he saw it. The diagram was a mix of a salchow and a toe loop, two moves Sunghoon was very much known for perfecting. Under the diagram were two words that made Sunghoon’s heart flutter.

Ice Prince.

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wehatejulietsimms · 3 years

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A/N: i'm gonna respond to this in sections bc it's quite long so bare with me.

Howdy y’all, 🤠 again. Yes, I didn’t in fact die. I’m sorry though that I kept getting sidetracked and couldn’t submit this until now, my boss decided to keep dumping her work into my lap. So I just wanna preface this by stating that I’m going to try and say what I want to as coherent as possible, but I have pretty severe ADHD so I’m not always as easy to understand as I think I am in my head, and I often go off on tangents, over explain things and circle back to topics randomly without realizing. Im basically going to go over their relationship over the years as I said previously (I’m not gonna go into detail about every single scandal and shitty thing Juliet did over the years, because we’d be here all year. so I figure I won’t cover them here, but rather let people ask specific questions if they want to. Remember, I was present for pretty much everything so feel free to ask.😊), but I’m also going to do kind of a mini deep dive into Andy’s behavior and actions (because although the snakes will hit you with every excuse in the book, and tell you that you’re looking too far into things and that it doesn’t matter, it does. The way a person acts in general and towards people around them is very relevant when talking about someone’s health, happiness, and well-being.) To start off, let’s take it all the way back to the time before Juliet’s reign of terror, when Andy and Scout were still together. In all honesty from what I saw of them together (and I saw pretty much everything they posted, I’m only a year younger than Andy, and I was quite into him when he was on MySpace and such, and I always watched anything with him and Scout together because they were fucking adorable lol) they had a really healthy relationship. Not once did I get weird vibes from them. The way Andy acted toward and with Scout, you could tell they really loved each other and were happy together. They had nothing to prove. It just was normal. (For any of you who are younger, or didn’t come into the picture until Andy was already post-scout and would like to see some videos of them together, you could generally search on YouTube for it, but also there’s a specific channel on there called like bring the milk tea or something that has videos of old Andy blogs and also Andy and scout on stickam and such. Worth a look if you’re curious) They weren’t constantly all over each other like possessive pack dogs *ahem Juliet ahem* and whenever Andy mentioned scout he didn’t need to shower her in compliments. They both seemed very secure in both themselves and the relationship. Super cute. Initially when they broke up it seemed quite odd. I didn’t really expect it. It got even weirder when he states that he and Juliet are together. It didn’t feel like they fit together at all (and no I’m not talking about from a fame or success perspective. At least not yet lol) As I’ve said I got bad vibes from Juliet right from the get go. Andy already seemed to be acting not like himself. (Also snakeys have argued that it’s just that he’s more mature now and that’s why he acts nervous and constantly looks Ike he wants to die. 🙄 maturity doesn’t mean losing your fucking personality and being unhappy most of the time. Jesus Christ.) it seemed like they got possessive of each other and constantly needed to show people how in love they were. Pictures, videos, and fucking public love paragraphs to show they are, in fact, in a super real relationship and they love each other. It also felt like Andy’s family was in on this whole weird charade.They (Chris honestly) started to defend her degenerate behavior and attack anyone who had even a whisper of negative things to say about her or their relationship. It was like watching a group of awkward, pretty mediocre actors put on a play about them being together. (I’ve hit the text limit now, but there will be more that I will write just after I submit this one though, fear not haha. N, you can either post this now or wait until I submit the rest, it’s up to you.) 1 / ? -🤠

A/N: i was here for a lot of it as well so i do remember some of this. although i did join the fandom shortly after him and juliet got together (i joined like around the time she was on the voice) i literally remember hoping that him and scout would get back together bc juliet just rubbed me the wrong way and i didn't know why at the time. & side note i actually do recommend people go look at old videos of andy and scout they were really adorable. there is this one video of them singing (i think a carrie underwood song lol) in the car and it's really cute. but yeah just bc he's older doesn't mean his whole entire personality changes. you can be any age and act however you want. i could even use jenna marbles & julien solomita (a youtube couple) as an example, they've been together for i think like 8 or 9 years and are about the same age as A&J (julien being around andy's age & jenna around juliet's age) & although they can have mature adult conversations and all of that, they still act like idiots and joke around together. neither of them look uncomfortable or are afraid of saying certain things like andy is around juliet. so andy aging doesn't mean shit in regards to his personality doing a 180.

🤠okay, so part two here we go. (Also I apologize if I get the chronological order of anything I talk about incorrect, I’m a bit scattered sometimes and the next ask I make will be the one where I talk about the domestic abuse and I tend to get quite heated, which only makes my brain function worse lol) so the point at which Andy was trying to get fans to go vote for/ support Juliet when she was on the voice seemed really fishy. I’m all for supporting the work of the people you love, but it’s kinda strange how hard Andy was pushing this at the time. Too hard in my opinion. I’m obviously aware that it was helpful in the end and he more or less got what he was asking for. But it was like he absolutely needed people to vote for her. As if he would get in trouble if they didn’t. So around 2012 or 2013 it felt like things really went down the shitter from there and just got progressively worse. (I never knew why for the longest time, but after they revealed that Vegas wedding that happened in about that time frame, it made a lot of sense.) Andy’s behavior began to change towards his fans. There are a lot of accounts of this happening from fans themselves and a lot of people said that 1. It was worse with Juliet around, and 2. a lot of the time it would happen towards females especially. ( I think more towards the “pretty” fans but don’t count me on that, I don’t know for sure.) This was completely night and day. Especially coming from the same man who used to always defend his fans and once stated something along the lines of he would never have a crazy or awkward fan story because he loves and is grateful for all of his fans and he won’t get upset if they’re just really excited. I would understand if these fans crossed the line in some way (like the later incident of fans finding his address and harassing them, which is unacceptable no matter who the people are) but from most if not all of the fan stories I’ve heard, they didn’t. They were being respectful and didn’t do anything to warrant this happening to them besides showing up. Which brings me to my next point, a lot of these negative experiences were caused by Juliet. Either she was the one being mean to people, she was causing Andy to be mean to people on her behalf, or her presence was upsetting Andy to the point that he was angry and started being rude and irritable. What scares me the most are the accounts of Andy having a whole Jekyll and Hyde thing, depending on weather or not Juliet was present. Happy when he’s free of her and miserable when he isn’t. In videos of him where Juliet is behind the camera he always seems nervous and strange. Like he’s afraid to mess up. That’s fucking alarming to say the least. You would think that the last thing one would want to do if another person brings them this much anger, stress, and anxiety, the LAST thing they would want to do is fucking marry them. Right? He literally started barely smiling at one point and really doesn’t anymore. I mean for Christ’s sake look at his wedding photos. What’s suppose to be one of the happiest moments of your life and to quote another anon with a different ask, he looks like he’s being dragged to the gallows. (And I get really fucking Angry honestly when snakeys tries to pass it off as “oh he’s awkward he doesn’t know how to smile” or “omg he’s being dramatic for the aesthetics” in some pictures, yes. But why the fuck would you look like that in pictures with the “love of your life” who you now regularly write cringy paragraphs publicly professing your love and complete adoration for? Andy knows how to smile genuinely. Ffs he used to. He smiled genuinely when he was a kid, he smiled genuinely with scout, and he smiled genuinely when Juliet wasn’t around. He doesn’t smile when she is there, and if he does, it is pretty much always visibly fake.) So I may backtrack a little later, but right now I want to talk about the fact that Juliet IS an abuser. More specifically, the plane incident. (Word limit. TBC.) 2 / ? -🤠

A/N: yes. 100%. when it comes to the wedding photos i will never understand people (specifically snakeys) writing off his behavior as him "just being dramatic for the aesthetics". is that something he would do in photoshoots? yeah. is it something he may do on stage? sure. something he would do in an interview? maybe. but candid shots of him on one of the "happiest days of his life"? wtf no. & idk why people think that.

🤠 Just before I start, again, with the pictures, I really don’t think that Andy is enough of a self absorbed egotistical dick that he would actually sit there and put on the whole “miserable tough guy” act in every fucking photo he takes. Ah yes, the infamous plane incident. So straight up, Juliet exposed herself as an abuser, and brought out every bullshit excuse in the book (and made Andy go along with them) to try to cover it up. 1. She was drunk. Honestly this is total bullshit. I say this same thing when people defend cheating or any other degenerate behavior with the excuse of intoxication and I will say it now. Being drunk does not make you a different fucking person. It does not change the thoughts in your head. What it does do is impair your ability to make decisions and judgement skills in general. It’s the same reason why people drive drunk. It’s routine. Its what they would normally do. And because they’re drunk, they can’t see any reason why they shouldn’t do that. Juliet gets drunk, she and Andy fight, she wants to hit him, and because she’s drunk she doesn’t think that she shouldn’t fucking put her hands on him. 2. She hit him in “self defense” and he broke her ribs.(There’s several points I have debunking this) first of all let’s get this out of the way, no one on that plane (including the very real witness who just so happened to be an adult film actress (I think?) who you so love to discount because of it) saw him strike her or even touch her at any time. Two, you are in fucking airplane seats sitting right the fuck next to each other with an armrest in between. It would be pretty fucking hard to break your ribs unless they were made of actual glass, or Andy’s real name is Bruce fucking banner. Bones are surprisingly strong and I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that it’d be damn near impossible for him to do that to you, which brings me to three, if he had broken your ribs you would not be fucking standing up, thrashing around, whining like a little bitch, and oh by the way, continuing to abuse your husband for the second time on that flight. Four, you had a miscarriage. (When I was trying to conceive with my husband it was very difficult. I had two miscarriages before I finally had my son. I’m fully aware of how devastating having one is.) which is why if you are not lying (which I fully believe that Juliet would stoop that low just to get sympathy, especially with this big of a scandal. But I don’t actually have proof of this so I will say that it is just speculation on my part) I don’t fucking care. I am not unsympathetic to her if this did actually happen as I said, however, You do not get to make any excuse for putting your hands on another person out of anger. Ever. I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what kind of stress you are under, I don’t care if you are inebriated in any way and I sure as hell don’t care what the fuck you have between your legs. You do not hurt anyone. Point blank period. Five. You are a woman, you can’t hurt him. This one, actually enrages me. We all know your crusty ass pulled this one out (and threw around trump supporters a few times for good measure) because you know damn well how society and the media views and deals with abusive women. Women can abuse. Women who are shorter or weaker than their target can abuse. The fact that there are people who either don’t know that or don’t agree with that is absolutely baffling. Six. The same (I believe) porn actress. Literally saw you beating your own face with the restraints you had to be put in (which by the way flight attendants only ever use restraints as an absolute last resort when someone becomes a danger to the others on board, so she had to be acting absolutely deranged) to give yourself a bloody nose to claim Andy hit you. Then you proceed to act like a child and tell Andy to call your fucking dad. (Which kinda proves that whole Scientology thing honestly) what in the hell. I stg as long as I am breathing I will never let this go. This is actual fucking domestic abuse. (Word limit TBC.) 3 / ? -🤠

A/N: yeah her hitting him "bc she was drunk" was never a good excuse not only for the reasons you mentioned but, also bc let's be real at no point are you ever going to get served enough alcohol on a plane to make you that drunk i don't care what anyone says. also when it comes to the excuse of him "breaking her ribs" does she forget that andy actually did break his ribs a while ago? i think she even visited him when he was recovering so she should know what kind of pain he was in. & if he actually broke her ribs, there's no way she would have even been able to stand bc i know andy sure wasn't able to. he said it was one of the most painful things he's experienced. (i don't think i need to comment on the rest of this. it would just be redundant. you hit the nail on the head with that.)

🤠 I don’t care if it happened just that one time ore more likely is an everyday occurrence. Abuse is abuse and should never be tolerated. Kind of getting away from the plane thing. Andy always seems, as it’s been said on here before, afraid to mess up. Like he might mess up, and make her mad. A common behavioral pattern in abuse victims. He also at this point and for a decent amount of time before, doesn’t seem like he loves her anymore. Like he keeps up appearances and pretends, but it’s like it’s a job he’s forced to do. He’s tired and burnt out but was probably manipulated into staying and juliet is probably clinging for dear life. Also I don’t know if I’m the only one who thinks this, but I swear, the veganism and sobering up was just a cover up, most likely formed by either Juliet herself or her fucked up family, after the plane incident to hide their tracks and regain some public favor (because you know, if you advocate for animal rights then you can’t abuse your husband 🙃) Andy never gave a shit before though. Even though it was unhealthy he loved to drink and smoke and was very outspoken about that. And he used to never give a fuck about eating meat or consuming animal products like leather. I mean they’re still selling leather goods ffs. I would get having minor fuck ups because you don’t know any better, but it’s fucking leather. And now Andy is unhealthy and miserable as ever, but the culprit is malnourishment and Juliet rather than cigs, alcohol, and Juliet. My final thoughts: I do definitely believe in the Scientology theory, but if not that than I definitely believe that Andy was and is being manipulated for his fame. On several occasions it really looked like they broke up, including the time when they did, and then said it was a joke. It really doesn’t feel normal. Also, Juliet doesn’t really care about Andy that much. She never wears her wedding ring, she sells all their shit, including sentimental items, and now that she’s gained more popularity from being with him, suddenly doesn’t want to put him in her bio or write him the same creepy ass paragraphs or anything. It’s fucked up how shes so keen to say she did it all herself when really she’s been riding dick for fame since before she even met Andy. It also always kinda seemed to me that Amy was kind of uncomfortable around Juliet. We all know that Chris loves to kiss her ass night and day (most likely to do with the Scientology thing “if” it’s true), but Juliet and Amy always seemed to have a weird relationship like it was tense and forced. Also I just want to mention the time that Juliet talked about screaming at the woman over what I believe was a game night and brushed it off as being competitive and no one gave damn. Fucked up. To finish off this already way too long little series, I think Andy is a very vulnerable insecure person who got manipulated by several people (not just Juliet) some of whom he probably really trusted, and they helped to get him in Juliet’s (equally if not more insecure) hands so she could hurt him as she pleases. I truly hope that even now both he, and his parents (even though Chris really grinds my gears) can get out of this whole shit show, relatively unscathed. I know this is probably pretty unlikely, but hope springs eternal I guess. As I said feel free to ask any questions you may have and I will try to answer them best I can. Thank you for reading. 4 / 4 -🤠

A/N: yet again you hit the nail on the head with this part so i don't need to comment too much. other than the fact that i do agree that juliet and amy's relationship does seem weird.

#submission #anonymous

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kkyop124 · 3 years

Text

note from author: i don't think it isn't that good, but enjoy it anyway. please remember that english isn't my first language (っ◞‸◟c). if there's any misspelled word, let me know please!

fandom: ikemen vampire

pairing(s): arthur/reader

character(s): arthur conan doyle (ikevamp), MC (ikevamp)

warning(s): mayor character death

genre: angst

inspired by the song: death bed - powfu, beabadoobee

note: if you haven't listened to this song i suggest you to click the link i left in the name's song itself. this way, you'll understand better this fic and the lyrics i will be adding in the dialogues or loose between paragraphs. they may be a little different from the song itself but that way it would suits with the part i put them.

"don't stay awake for too long, don't go to bed".

arthur where laying next to MC, who has been in bed for weeks, she doesn't seem to be progressing or getting any better. it was actually the opposite. she didn't seem to be better, she was getting worse and worse within the days has been passing away.

arthur wanted her to rest because she needed to, but he didn't want to let her go in other way. what if she went to sleep and never came back? he wanted her to live with him. like they promised to do.

"i'll make a cup of coffee for your head".

all the time she had told him the very same phrase and now... now he was the one who has to get up and get a cup of coffee for her. she used to kiss his forehead every time she saw him late at night writing, with the brightest smile in her face. she was too good for this world, he knew it since the day she arrived and yet... once again he couldn't save her.

she was leaving him, in a slow and painful way. she didn't leave him overnight. no, she was leaving him evey day that passed. he knew that life was unfair but this was way more painful than before. after all, she was special.

tic.

every second of her time was leaving her body.

toc.

and he couldn't do nothing about it.

tic.

he was, once again, watching someone he cared leaving.

toc.

why was always him the one that has to watch the time pass away? he thought. every day. every hour. every minute. every second. "why me?"

"i'll get you up and going out of bed".

ha. he wished he could do such a thing like that. he was nothing more than a mere spectator watching the love of his life dying in front of him. she smiled for him meanwhile he was crying for her.

he didn't wanted her to go, not now when she had decided to spend her life by his side. but it was a long life that they promised to spend together. not this, it was not enough. she was sick, she had a terminal illness. among all the people it had to be her.

her daily sunshine was turning off her lights.

he would be in the dark in no time. again. he would be alone, sitting in the dark with a drink in his hands again. and after all this, after her and her lovely way to makes things better for him, her way to make him smile and laugh with no effort at all. he would be devastated by her leaving when the time comes.

and there were times when she talked about the future and about her fate, but she was too calm while doing it. arthur couldn't understand why she was so relaxed.

"when i leave this earth, i'm hoping you'll find someone else" she said looking at him, but was she seeing him? or was she looking at the arthur after her leaving? "i been thinking of our future 'cause i'll never see those days". arthur froze, what was she saying in a moment like this? why now? but she kept talking after a brief silence, "i don't know why this happened. i tried my best, but you know that i'm not perfect".

arthur didn't keep listening to what she was saying, he didn't want to. he just took her hands in his and kissed the top of them. "i'm happy that you're here with me, i'm sorry if i tear up". arthur smiled after saying that. his heart broke a little more at the same time. then he continued, "when me and i first met, you would always make me cheer up".

she laughed then said "and sneak out through the kitchen at exactly 1:03". he thought she was so beautiful while laughing and smiling, with those warm eyes, that bright smile of hers, her tiny hands and her soft skin. the sound of her voice wss enough to get the best of him.

she sighed, "soon you'll be alone, sorry that you have to lose me", she stroked his hair with her delicate touch and deposited a kiss in his lips. "this is not your fault, things just turned out this way".

"yeah... i'll make a cup of coffee for you, wait here". arthur smiled, or at the very least he tried to smile before standing up heading to the kitchen. he didn't wanted to leave but he needed some time alone thinking about all the things happening around him, those things that don't let him sleep at night. when she was sleeping he stayed by her side all night, writing stories for her. she liked listening to his stories before going to sleep. "it's music for my ears" she answered his question about why she liked it that much.

meanwhile he was preparing the coffee, upstairs were theo and MC talking about something that no one in the mansion wanted to hear. theo was having a hard time too, after all he got closer to the traveler girl, they were friends without realizing it.

"arthur is worse than ever, right?" she asked him, resting her head in the pillow. there was no answer. she laughed softly, "i thought so". she raised her hand and looked at it, looking for something that she knew that she couldn't have.

time.

she wanted more time. but there wasn't more time.

and she knew it.

"theo"

he waited before opening his mouth.

"...yes?"

she was still looking at her hand up in the air. "do me a favor. take care of arthur from now on for me, please?"

he knew what she meant by that. he frowned and looked away.

"you bet i will, i'm his friend".

her time has finally arrived.

she smiled and a tear ran down her cheek, "thank you... and tell him i'm sorry and that i love him so much too, could you?"

"...yes"

she was sleepy and her body felt heavy, but she never stopped thinking about arthur till her very last breathe in this world. "yeah, i don't wanna fall asleep, i don't wanna pass away". her eyes started closing, "i been praying for forgiveness... you've been praying for my health", she smiled. "because we're still young, there's much we haven't done. getting married, start a family... watch your husband with his son".

theo watched her from the door. he didn't know if it was better if arthur wasn't there or not right now, but that wasn't going to change the fact she was passing away.

with her last strength she though a last time of her dear arthur. "i wish it could be me, but i won't make it out this bed. i hope i go to heaven so i see you once again... my life was kinda short, but i got so many blessings". her eyes finally closed. "happy you were mine, it sucks that it's all ending...".

she was gone.

arthur was walking up the stairs coming back from the kitchen with the coffee in his hands. he was walking looking at the floor till he arrived to her room. he looked up to see theo standing outside her door, waiting for him before giving him that look. the world seemed to stop for arthur when he realized.

smash.

the coffee was now scattered across the corridor floor, little pieces of pottery too. this strong sound was noticed from the others residents of the mansion. but arthur was already inside her room holding her cold hand with his forehead against hers, wishing for more time to spend with her. tears running down his cheeks.

"please no, you're my sunshine, my only sunshine..." he sobbed, searching for some air he could breathe between his cry. "you make me happy when skies are gray, please stay". arthur kissed her cold cheek. "you'll never know dear, how much i love you...". theo felt pain watching him from the doors, just like the others residents just arrived. "please don't take my sunshine away... please".

fin.

#ikemen vampire #ikevam #ikemen games #ikemen series #ikevam arthur #arthur x mc #angst #angst imagine #angst and pain #ikevam theo #my fic #writing #vampire #otome

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moonlit-han · 4 years

Text

you can’t learn that from books ↠ kim seungmin

genre: friends-to-lovers, college au word count: 2.4k warnings: suggestive as hell, swearing request: yes (anon) a/n: I hope this lives up to your expectations for passionate kissing with Seungmin, anon! It turned out a lot longer than I expected. Enjoy a study session of a different kind~

✧ masterlist in bio ✧

You hurried along the walkway to the library, your shoulders hunched against the fine mist that was covering every inch of you, and your things, that it could get to. Sighing in relief, you yanked the main door open. It was so nice and warm, and most importantly, dry. After slithering out of your raincoat, you passed a hand through your hair, trying to soak up the clinging moisture with your sleeve. You grinned as you spotted Seungmin sitting by the windows, hunched over his notebook and occasionally chewing on his pencil.

Right after class on Friday, Seungmin had asked you to study with him and you’d gladly agreed. You were really quite excited to study with him, since you needed help editing an essay and Seungmin’s meticulous nature would be a welcome benefit.

You sat next to him in two out of your three Literature classes, and talked incessantly with each other. Well, more like talked, whispered, wrote notes, drew hilariously bad pictures, and even perfected the two-people-stare-at-each-other-and-suddenly-they’re-telepathic form of communication. Your professors had resigned themselves to the fact that you would quietly giggle in the corner together no matter what. However, you still managed to come up with the right answers and take surprisingly detailed notes.

Seungmin made classes that you already enjoyed even better—it was like he could magically brighten a room with just a smile. And, he flirted shamelessly with you, making it painfully clear that he had a crush on you. You’d kind of glaze over whenever he smiled at you, and more than once, he’d had to wave his hand in front of your face to get your attention. Those were not your finest moments, and included much spluttering, blushing, and shakily constructed bravado.

This was all because you had had just as intense feelings for him as he did for you. In short, you were sunk for Kim Seungmin—absolutely smitten.

Surprisingly, there were fewer people in the library than you’d expect on a rainy day. Not that this was a bad thing, though. As you approached the table Seungmin had chosen, he looked up, his eyes sparkling with a smile.

“Hey, Y/N,” he chirped. “Wet enough out there for you?”

“You’ve no idea,” you said, sighing dramatically. “It’s like mist can get through anything. I feel like a drowned rat and it’s not even raining properly.”

“At least it’s warm in here, though, right?” Seungmin said, pulling his bag up onto the table.

You grumbled in agreement, pulling out the chair across from Seungmin and slumping into it. He just watched as you extracted your laptop and several books from your bag.

“So, what’s up?” Seungmin rested his chin in his hands. “Didn’t you want to work on an essay or something?”

“Yeah, let me pull it up.” you said, relieved he’d brought it up, so you wouldn’t have to go through the awkwardness of asking for help.

Seungmin was patient and kind as he helped you edit your paper. He let you learn from experience and through thorough examination of what you were trying to convey, rather than just telling you what to write. It was a good system, and you were pleased with how the paper was turning out. The entire time, you were keenly aware of Seungmin’s presence next to you: the warmth of his arm as it brushed against yours when he went to type something, the resonance of his voice, the way he stared intently at you while you were rambling about what you wrote. You tried to ignore the warm feeling growing inside you, but couldn’t—it was just so damn distracting.

Once you were done, you went to roam among the shelves as Seungmin tried to complete a few paragraphs on an essay of his own. The library was quiet, the smell of the books and the glue used in their bindings a calm counterpoint to the frenetic energy of students researching and writing. You liked the muffled silence of the library, and you imagined you could feel the combined knowledge of thousands of books surrounding you like a cocoon.

You leaned against a bookshelf, opening a book of Korean mythology, specifically on tricksters. After a while, you felt a presence behind you and a light touch on your shoulder. You nearly jumped out of your skin with surprise.

“Sorry, Y/N,” Seungmin said sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to startle you so much.” He kept his hand on your shoulder, though.

“It’s okay,” you said softly, not daring to move with Seungmin so close.

“Is that a good book?” he said, now resting his chin on your shoulder. You weren’t quite sure what to do with him so close, but, then again, you weren’t complaining. Suddenly, you felt like someone had shaken you up like a fizzy drink and that you’d burst from the bubbles of excitement now careening through your body. Trying to calm your pounding heart, you nodded, turning your head slightly.

The brush of Seungmin’s lips against your cheek was so light that you weren’t sure it had really happened, that is, until he kissed your cheek again a little closer to your mouth. You smiled and turned, Seungmin’s hands resting solidly on your shoulders as you held the book of mythology in front of your chest as if it could somehow stop what was already in motion. Seungmin looked down at you, his expression open and completely honest. You could almost read his feelings in his eyes as you saw them flick down to your lips and back up to meet yours.

“Um, can I put the book down?” you asked, causing Seungmin to chuckle and let you go.

“Yeah. Ooops, didn’t think about that before—” Seungmin stopped himself, a blush creeping up his face.

You placed the book back on the shelf, careful to return it to its proper place. “Before?” you prompted with what might have been a smirk, stepping close to him again.

“Before doing this,” Seungmin murmured, and leaned in to kiss you.

It was a fleeting kiss, tender and sweet, just a brief brush of lips together. Even so, you felt like a jolt of electricity passed through your body and gasped a little at the contact. Reaching up, you twined your arms around Seungmin’s neck, completely forgetting that you were in the middle of the library. You couldn’t help yourself—this was exactly what you’d dreamed of in the small hours of the morning.

Seungmin drew back slightly, whispering, “I like you so much, Y/N. Is this … May I ….” He let out a shaky breath, a question in his eyes, and you pressed your lips to his as an answer. He gently moved his mouth against yours, catching at your lips over and over, sighing happily as you hesitantly ran your fingers through the soft hair at the nape of his neck. Seungmin moved one hand to between your shoulder blades, while the other cupped your cheek—his hands were surprisingly soft and you could practically feel the tenderness flowing from him. You swiped your tongue along the crease of his lips, smiling as he opened to you immediately. Each of you eagerly explored the other’s mouth, feeling, tasting, savoring.

By now, you were sharing breaths as you kissed. You knotted your fingers in his hair more firmly and he moaned, roughly pulling you to his chest. Every place your bodies met felt like it was on fire, as if just one more point of contact would surely make you blaze up like a bonfire. With a gasp, Seungmin reeled back from you, his cheeks flushed and his hair cutely mussed.

“Woah,” he breathed, running a hand through his hair to try to straighten it. You put a hand to your cheek, trying to keep your composure. “I wasn’t expecting that,” Seungmin continued. “Um, we probably shouldn’t make-out like that in the library.”

“We could go back to my apartment, if you want,” you suggested as you caught your breath. You couldn’t quite believe you’d just said that so boldly, but now that that ship had sailed … “My roommate isn’t going to be back until Sunday night—she had to go home for the weekend.”

Seungmin’s eyes widened and he nodded. “I— Could we? Even if we just watch a movie and cuddle.” His voice trailed off, the implication of what you might do instead hanging in the air between you.

“Yes, definitely,” you said, and took his hand. “Let’s grab our stuff and go before someone comes over here.”

Twenty long and tension-filled, not to mention wet—it was actually raining now—minutes later, you opened the door to your apartment and ushered Seungmin inside to your living room. You both dropped your belongings onto the floor and stripped off your raincoats as fast as you could, not caring how eager you seemed. As soon as he’d kicked off his shoes, too, you pulled Seungmin toward you, crushing your lips to his. You hooked your fingers into his belt loops as Seungmin cupped your face, one hand at your neck. His kisses were addictive, like if you mixed the slowness of hot caramel with the effervescence of sparkling water. You wondered how you’d ever survived without them.

After a moment, Seungmin broke your kiss. His pupils were blown wide with desire, and you knew yours were, too.

“Y/N, are you sure?” he asked. “Do you want to do this? I only want to if you do.” His tone was serious, and you felt a swell of emotion at how earnest he was. (That would definitely be twenty points to the Future Boyfriend tally. Not that you’d actually made one …).

“Yes,” you breathed as you stood on tip-toe to kiss Seungmin again. You could kiss him more slowly now, and lingered at the corner of his mouth, teasing as you then switched to bite at his lower lip.

Suddenly, you were against the door with Seungmin’s arms braced on either side of your head. You let out a surprised “Oh,” liking the confidence radiating off of Seungmin. His mouth met yours once more before he kissed along your jaw and down your neck, pressing kiss after kiss to the sensitive skin. You leaned your head back, exposing more of your neck for him, and moaned as Seungmin stopped to suckle where the curve of your shoulder began. Your breathing quickened as you felt the heat of his body against yours, and you held onto his hips to steady yourself.

“Min, oh my god,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. It was quite difficult as Seungmin now drew down the collar of your shirt to kiss across your shoulder. You hadn’t even realized how good that might feel.

You wanted to be closer to him, wanted to feel the extent of his desire. Reaching up to grab ahold his wrists, you ducked your head to kiss Seungmin again. He smiled against your mouth. You placed Seungmin’s hands on your waist, then began to walk forward as you continued kissing him. He almost stumbled, catching himself as he was still holding onto your hips. Finally understanding, Seungmin moved backward into the room, trying to navigate around a chair and a lamp, until he bumped into the coffee table.

“Ouch,” he muttered, frowning, but went back to kissing you all the same. You giggled and kissed him more thoroughly as an apology for any pain he felt. At last, you reached the couch and Seungmin sat heavily, drawing you down with him.

You knelt above Seungmin’s lap, holding onto his shoulders for balance. “Are you comfortable?” you asked, not wanting to hurt him. He nodded.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Seungmin said in wonder as he gazed up at you. You looked away, shy at the compliment. He reached up to stroke your cheek with a finger. “No, Y/N, you really are.”

You sat back on Seungmin’s knees, covering his hand with yours. “You are, too, you know,” you murmured, then leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “And you have my heart.”

You shifted a little so you were closer to Seungmin on his lap and you felt a slight, hard pressure under you. You settled yourself more squarely on him, grinning as he let out an involuntary groan. As Seungmin moved his hands to your hips—nearly to your bottom—you kissed up his neck and, feeling bold, nibbled at his ear a bit. A shot of excitement coursed through you when his slipped his hands under your shirt—his hands were smooth and warm against your skin.

You nuzzled Seungmin’s neck as he asked, “Is this okay?”

“Yes, your hands feel good,” you said, then brought your lips to his, combing your fingers through his hair.

Seungmin slowly ran his hands up and down your back, leaving little tingling lines all over your skin. You still couldn’t believe you were doing this, but, then again, you and Seungmin had been very obviously courting for months now. He continued to caress your skin, moving steadily upward, until his fingers found the clasp of your bra. You sucked in a breath, drawing back from Seungmin.

“Not yet, please,” you murmured, looking down and away.

“Of course,” Seungmin responded, immediately withdrawing his hands from your back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

You smiled. “Min, no, don’t worry. I didn’t mean never—just not in this moment.”

“Okay. Just tell me if you want to stop or do something differently or anything, okay Y/N?” Seungmin gently threaded his fingers through your hair as he spoke.

“Same goes for you, Min,” you said, leaning into his touch, and he nodded. You enjoyed the feeling of your hair being finger-combed for a while longer. “You can hold me again, you know,” you said, and leaned forward to ghost your lips over his.

Seungmin chuckled and returned to rubbing small circles over the planes of your shoulder blades before slipping his hands back under the hem of your shirt. You sighed against his mouth, and Seungmin pulled you closer, tipping his chin up as you were above him. You could feel Seungmin’s heart racing as you ran your hands over his chest and shoulders, even as your kisses remained languorous.

You gently ground your hips against Seungmin’s, feeling that the hard pressure underneath you was no longer slight. Seungmin groaned low in his throat and kissed you with renewed vigor, continuing to explore the shape of your body with his hands. His hands were now dancing across your belly, your sides, all your curves. Your tongues fought for dominance as you tried to learn each and every part of each other. Feeling as if you’d melt from kissing Seungmin, you let yourself get lost in the feeling of him.

Seungmin pressed his hips up to yours, seeking some sort of friction, which caused the deep well of heat inside you to grow. You rocked back and forth a little over his lap. You cupped Seungmin’s face with your hands, kissing him hard, and pressed yourself against him as closely as you could. Even though he looked at you like you were the most precious, delicate treasure, Seungmin’s grip on you was firm. You shivered at the sensation of his hands digging into the skin of your hips, just under the waistband of your jeans.

You wanted—no, needed—more now.

You drank hungrily at Seungmin’s mouth, your kisses becoming more heated, even desperate. It felt like little bolts of lightning flitted between you. His lips were warm and soft, yet firm and insistent on yours.

“God, oh Seungmin,” you moaned as he sucked and bit at your neck again. “That feels so good. Shit. Please,” you breathed, “more. You can do more—I want you to. I want you.” As you spoke, your heart was pounding so hard that you were sure Seungmin would be able to hear it. Self-consciousness be damned, you pulled at your shirt and, suddenly, you were sitting on Kim Seungmin’s lap in just your bra and jeans.

Seungmin was a little stunned at how needy you’d become and a hard knot of pressure built below his stomach as he was, yet again, amazed by your beauty. He couldn’t deny that he was just as eager as you—he had, after all, wanted this for longer than he cared to admit.

“Anything for you,” he promised, moving his hands to your back again, then kissed across your collarbone before dipping his head lower.

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