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spacebarbarianweird · 5 months

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Would you do some headcanons for Astarion/a Druid Tav, I know druids are supposed to be opposed to the undead on principal, and I dunno, just want to see people dealing that.

It turned out a bit long and bittersweeet and, I hope, you will enjoy it! Tav \ Reader is a Forest Circle Druid since it's the most popular one.

Astarion x Druid!Tav

Masterlist

Headcanons

You're complete opposites, even if you don't take into account the fact that he is undead.

Astarion has always been a city person, someone who feels comfortable in bustling, busy places.

Even after 200 years of torments, he is still ready to live in his favorite city, Baldur's Gate.

But you are a child of nature, born in a small village and raised by the Druids of the Forest Circle.

You love and respect nature in all its forms: animals, plants, trees, insects…

You can sleep in the dirt and feel comfortable under the starry skies.

All materialistic things make you feel sick. Meanwhile, Astarion craves them as repayment for 200 years of the most pathetic existence.

Moreover, Druids aren't really of the Undead.

The Undead desecrate nature and all your spells hurt Astarion, reminding him he will never be truly alive.

You try not to think about the future. Who knows if you even manage to survive.

But then, it's over. You are alive. The nasty astral thing in your head disappears, and you want just to wash it all from yourself and disappear into your beloved woods.

Astarion cries in pain as the sun burns him alive. He runs away and disappears in the shadows.

You look for him, in daylight and at night, but he is gone. What if he is dead? What if he burnt to death?

After a few days, you finally decide to leave the city and return home. With a broken heart.

Only to wake up at your small camp by soft steps.

You yell at Astarion. You curse him. You even cast a druidic spell that hurts him a bit.

"How could he? Why? So everyone was right about the undead; they are cruel after all."

Astarion apologizes. He was embarrassed and scared. He decided you would never want to have him by your side.

"You are a Druid, my love. You are supposed to hate the undead. I will desecrate whatever you hold dear. I just wanted to say goodbye."

And he looks like a miserable stray cat, saying this.

"I was a Druid when I met you. I was a Druid when I let you have sex with me. I was a Druid when I accepted your darkness. Nature is about a choice. You choose not to be evil. I choose you."

He is still hesitant. "It's not like you would allow me to murder animals."

"Would I forbid a wolf from eating a deer? Would I condemn a falcon for feeding its fledglings? You are a predator, Astarion, so be one. Just don't take more than you need."

You travel through Faerun—Astarion might not admit it, but he misses nature; he craves it.

He wants to enjoy the fresh air and green scenery, far from dirty city streets.

Astarion loves stargazing. You teach him to use stars to find the way in the woods.

You also teach him basic survival skills: how to build a fire, and how to find shelter. He is a good student and soon does all these things even better than you.

There is also something changing about him.

Astarion's obsession with his looks has always come from his vulnerability and lack of body control. His face and body were the only things Cazador didn't take from him.

But nature… nature has a different beauty.

Suddenly, you notice Astarion doesn't freak out if he scratches his perfect skin or breaks a nail.

He is okay wearing simple clothes even if they are a bit dirty or ripped.

He stops asking if his hair looks good, and, some days, he resembles a Feywild, not a High Elf.

First, you worry it's a sign of a soul illness, fatigue, and mental tiredness.

But, no. He is happy. He enjoys walking barefoot on grass or climbing up trees.

One day, he admits to you that he can't be happy in the cities. They will always remind him of his death, revival, and slavery. But the woods mean freedom.

But it doesn't mean he doesn't struggle. Nightmares, panic attacks—name it yourself.

He screams. He cries as if he is being tortured at the very moment.

"No one will hear you here, my love. Cry and scream as loud as you need. Cry away all the pain you've stored in your heart."

And he does. He yells. He howls like a wounded animal. Letting himself express everything he couldn't before.

It's a way of healing.

If you notice he is anxious or depressed, you make the drink for yourself, and then, when you feel the effect, let him drink from you.

You teach him to hunt.

You kill a deer. You eat the meat, he drinks the blood. Together you bury every single bone in the ground so the animals can find the path to their next lives.

There is another perk you have. You know how to polymorph.

You constantly take the form of a falcon, a wolf, or a cat. Other forms don't feel natural to you.

Astarion especially likes your cat form—a red feline with a fluffy tail.

"Oh darling, you are the most adorable little cat."

One of the issues he still has is a fear of touches. It's mostly okay. You sleep together, cuddling each other (almost always naked).

You have sex, loud and wild, not caring about being noticed.

But sometimes he just can't let you touch him. Touches are a pain; intimacy becomes torture.

He tries to force himself, but it always ends up bad.

So when you notice he is like that, you polymorph into the cat.

You crawl on his lap and start purring.

He strokes your fur and ears, pressing you tight to his chest as if you were a plushie.

You just adore being held like that.

In daylight, he stays inside the tent while you look around. Once, he notices you stand in the center of the beautiful meadow—while he, as usual, hides in the tent.

He can't take his eyes from you—you smile, opening your arms wide.

And then, suddenly, you put off your tunic, drop it onto the ground, and start dancing.

Absolutely naked.

There is nothing sexual about it—but something very wild instead.

You dance to the music you are the only one who can hear—as if praying to the sun and to the woods.

You are free. You are wild. You are part of nature.

He looks at you in awe as if seeing you for the first time.

After sunset, he dances with you the same way—naked in the moonlight.

He knows you will always be with him. Even when your time comes.

When it happens, he will bury you in the roots of an oak, giving you back to nature.

Your body will become grass and flowers, and, wherever he goes, he will know you follow him.

And when he decides it's enough, he will undress and dance till the morning comes.

He will face the sunlight one last time and turn into ashes, that will be scattered on the wind.

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @astarion-beloved @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati

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chrisevansonly · 1 year

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Block Out the Noise

pairing: harry styles x female reader

summary: sometimes you just need to listen to your song and love on your boyfriend to make the negative thoughts go away

warnings: mention of past abuse, talks of depression and suicidal thoughts, potentially triggering(?!) very soft and caring harry<3

a/n: i wanted to write something about matilda because it’s a song that I hold so close to my heart. from growing up in an abusive home and needing to take care of my brother from age 6 and up, when i heard matilda i knew it would be a song i’d cherish forever. this is a fic i hold close to my heart because i was that scared and small little girl who didn’t understand why i got anger taken out on me and why i had bruises when other kids didn’t. you’re not alone, you’ve got me in your corner and your stronger than you know, i hope my inner child knows that too<3

No one asks to be born into a world of chaos and fear, especially not when you’re a child. Wondering why your parents fought, the screaming matches, the subtle bruises you somehow ended up with because you ‘stood in the way.’ As a child you never knew what went wrong or what you did to be treated this way but you still tried your hardest regardless of the war zone you once called home.

you were riding your bike to the sound of its no big deal, and you’re trying to lift off the ground on those old two wheels..

You taught yourself to read, to cook, to take care of yourself and your siblings. Going as far as to teach yourself to ride a bike and even drive, you raised yourself in a world where you wished you hadn’t needed to do that. When you got to high school the insults from your father got worse, the insecurity creeped in and you struggled with self worth and self harm.

nothing about the way that you were treated ever seemed especially alarming til now..

Then came college where you worked three jobs to pay your tuition and fought tooth and nail to get the best grades and work your absolute hardest to get your degree which you did all on your own. Mental illness and recovery was never linear and you battled some of your darkest days throughout college and even towards graduation when you met Harry.

so you tie up your hair and you smile like it’s no big deal

Harry was your world, he was the calm through the storm, the light that helped guide you through the tough times, he truly was your best friend. You’d been together now going on 5 years with no plans of ever separating from one another. He always told you that you provided just as much safety and comfort to him as he could to you.

you can let it go, you can throw a party full of everyone you know and not invite your family, cause they never showed you love, you don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up

Now you were 26 and worked at your dream job, your life was filled with so much love and so much joy sometimes you found yourself needing to take a step back and just breathe, reminding yourself your life was real. Of course you had your rough days, and after the meeting and scolding you’d gotten today, all you wanted was to get home and see Harry.

matilda, you talk of the pain like it's all alright, but I know that you feel like a piece of you's dead inside

When Harry had started working on the album, he’d told you he was writing one very special song he couldn’t wait to share with you. So on the day that he sat you down and let you listen to Matilda, by the second line you were looking over at him with tears in your eyes, bottom lip wobbling ever so slightly and he was quick to pull you into his chest.

You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days

When you arrived home you dropped your work things by the front closet, kicking your heels off and dropping your shoulders in exhaustion. Harry wasn’t home yet so you allowed yourself a few minutes to get some water, your headphones and settle on the couch with a fluffy blanket.

it’s none of my business but it’s just been on my mind

On natural instinct almost, you allowed the soft melody of matilda to play through your headphones, eyes closing as you sunk into the cushions. It wasn’t as if you were trying to cower from the overwhelming feelings you had in this moment, but more or less trying to let them flow and escape from your mind

you can let it go, you can throw a party full of everyone you know and not invite your family, cause they never showed you love, you don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up

You hadn’t even noticed the tears steadily falling down your cheeks, your breathing picking up slightly as you pulled the blanket up further, attempting to wrap yourself in more warmth. It wasn’t until you felt gentle fingertips dancing across your face that you opened your eyes, Harry looking at you in concern. Pausing the song you pulled your headphones off and sent him a soft smile

“Hey m’love…”

“Hi”

Lifting the blanket up you let him cuddle in next to you, the instant comfort you felt just from being wrapped up in his arms was enough to blow the stress and pain from the day away

“You okay y/n?”

Nodding you leaned further into him

“Just had a really bad day…got yelled at and it just made me think of old stuff and I don’t know…f-felt a bit sad”

Harry placed a soft kiss against your temple

“I’m sorry today was so tough, I know it was probably hard to remember what it was like growing up too..can’t blame you for feeling upset”

His hands ran up and down your arm softly, the constant touch helping to keep you grounded and in the present moment.

“You know what I think?”

Looking up at him you furrowed your brows

“What?”

Placing a kiss on your lips he smiled

“I think you are the most beautiful soul, inside and out. Despite everything you’re still here, fighting and working hard day in and day out. You don’t ever have to feel sorry or feel bad about doing everything you’ve done on your own, and allowing yourself to love and experience love despite it all”

“H…”

He was quick to swipe a tear from your cheek before continuing

“I love you so much, you’re my now and my future. Seeing you grow and flourish into the woman you are today has been a privilege to witness and support you through. I admire you so much m’baby, you’ve never let anyone dim your light and m’so lucky to get to love you”

Anything you would have said to him in this moment was caught in your throat, so wrapping your arms around him and holding him tight was enough for him in the moment. Harry was the moon and the stars to you, he was your whole universe and he’d been helping you heal since you’d been together. You’d done the hardest work on this journey, he had just been there to support and love you through it so he says.

“I love you so much H, thank you for letting me start a new family”

“I’ll always be your family, you’re safe with me my darling, always”

Matilda was a song that would forever have its hold on you, and it was even more special knowing Harry had wrote it thinking of you, including you in his album and one of his projects he really loved. The love he’d shown you and continues to show you had only helped you come out of your shell and finally feel as if you’d found your place and purpose in this world.

Harry was your home, just as you were his.

a/n if you or someone you know is struggling with abuse please reach out to someone you know, whether it be a friend, family member or adult you trust. I’d only wished i’d done so earlier, i’m here to help and support you guys in anyway I can. You are loved, you are cherished and you are worth it.

#harry styles #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles x female reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles angst #harry styles x reader #harry styles x plus size reader #harry styles x girlfriend reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfic rec #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles masterlist #harry styles fanfiction #rueswrites #ruesanswers #ruesanons<3 #ruesasks #ruesfriends💙

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femsolid · 2 years

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“I started to become interested in Britney Spears’ journey around four years ago, when I noticed that she always looked disconnected in social media videos and photographs. Her communication seemed odd. Her eye contact and body language weren’t right, and I had commented that she was extremely traumatised, but likely to be taking medication of some sort. I wondered whether she, like many of the women and girls I was working with, was being subjected to the same process of pathologisation and control.

In 2019, one of the attorneys in the conservatorship case claimed that Britney was so mentally ill that she was like ‘a comatose patient’ and that she couldn’t make any decisions or sign any statements because she was the equivalent of an unconscious person. I started to feel that my worries were being confirmed. How could she simultaneously be so lacking in capacity that she was the equivalent of a person in a coma, and also be performing at a residency in Las Vegas every single night? How could people around her be claiming that she was so mentally ill that she needed round-the-clock supervision and medication, but she was still well enough to perform for hours? Something wasn’t right.

The world has watched whilst Britney Spears rose to fame dressed in ‘sexy schoolgirl’ uniform dancing in a school gym, singing ‘hit me baby, one more time’. They watched as she became a global phenomenon and sex symbol. They laughed as she was chased endlessly by the press. As she struggled to cope. As she shaved her head. As she struggled to keep custody of her children. As she was sectioned and medicated. As she was forced to perform in Las Vegas whilst being regularly medicated to control and subdue her. As she was locked into a conservatorship for thirteen years by her abusive father.

Prior to her solo artist career, she had been a famous child star of Disney’s The Mickey Mouse Club along with Ryan Gosling, Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera. She regularly performed songs and dance routines and acted. At fifteen years old, she signed a record deal. I was eight years old when ‘Hit me baby, one more time’ came out. I watched it on the TV and didn’t know she was just a child until much later, when I was an adult working in child sexual exploitation services. I looked back on the video and wondered how old she was when they sexualised her and sold her to the world. I did a quick Google search. Sixteen. I thought about her song titles and music videos. ‘I’m a Slave 4 U’ was curiously released on the same album as ‘Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman’ when she was eighteen years old. Interestingly, both produced by Pharrell Williams, the producer of ‘Blurred Lines’ with Robin Thicke – widely considered to be a misogynistic, pro-rape song about objectifying women. In ‘I’m a Slave 4 U’ and ‘Boys’ (again on the same album), she is positioned as a sex-crazed woman who will do anything for men. Yet ‘Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman’ positions her as a child, coming of age, and being stuck in between childhood and adulthood.

Between 1998 and 2001, her management released an incredible number of songs and music videos that clearly portrayed her as sexy, sultry and out of reach. Sometimes, I wonder how much of that was deliberately paedophilic and illegal. The ‘jailbait’ trope. That men knew she was a child, but she was being positioned as a sexual adult. This included being interviewed several times about whether she was a virgin, when she lost her virginity, and whether she had a boyfriend yet.

My next strongest memory of Britney was in 2003, when she released ‘Everytime’. The video was harrowing. I was thirteen years old, and even I noticed that something was very wrong. She was singing about pain and trauma. The music video featured her dying of an overdose in the bath and drowning. I watched it with horror. She wanted to die. Her portrayal of suicide was calm, peaceful and final. She is shown as having an out-of-body experience in which she sees herself being pulled out of the bath by a man and rushed to hospital, whilst paparazzi scramble to take pictures of her body. This video still haunts me; in fact, it hurts more to watch now than it did then. Here was a very young woman, shot into global stardom, sexualised and sold as a teenage sex object, struggling to cope with the pressure, and now depicting her own death. In 2008, her mother Lynne told the press that her daughter had ‘lost her virginity’ to an eighteen-year-old man when she was just fourteen years old, and way below the age of consent. She had started drinking at thirteen years old whilst working on The Mickey Mouse Club, and had started taking drugs at fifteen years old. In her memoir, Lynne recalls finding cocaine and weed in her daughter’s bag as she was boarding a private jet around the time ‘Baby One More Time’ was released.

In 2007 Britney was filmed having a ‘public breakdown’ and shaving her hair off. A month later, after being hounded by tipped-off paparazzi, she hit a car with an umbrella. This led to global media outlets framing her as violent, psychotic, insane and a bad mother to her children. Despite everything she was going through, and previously being regarded as a national treasure, she was framed as dangerous and disordered. She was then reportedly in and out of ‘rehab’ for years, sectioned several times and placed on psychiatric medication. At the end of 2007, her father, Jamie, placed Britney under a ‘temporary conservatorship’ which lasted over thirteen years. During this time, concerns slowly mounted amongst her loyal fanbase, who believed for years that she was being exploited and controlled. They argued that she was in danger, and being treated like a prisoner. They pointed to evidence on her social media which suggested that she was trying to carefully get messages to her fanbase that she was in danger. In 2009, they created a FreeBritney website, and demanded that her conservatorship was ended. In November 2021, Britney filmed and posted a video to her fan base, and specifically thanked the FreeBritney movement for ‘saving her life’, and ‘noticing that something was wrong’.

As the years have passed, I’ve watched as rising child stars such as Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Ariana Grande, Demi Lovato and Lindsay Lohan were taken down similar pathways of hypersexualisation and then pathologisation that were publicly discussed, but for some reason, not publicly scrutinised. Well, the girls were scrutinised, of course. Not so much scrutiny was afforded to the managers and corporations who had clearly developed a blueprint for transforming their cute child stars into pornified sex objects overnight. Sometimes it felt like they had deliberately removed their successful female child stars from the limelight for short periods of time and then relaunched them as sex siren pop stars – when they were barely seventeen years old.

Miley Cyrus became famous for her starring role in Hannah Montana, in which she played a young famous popstar who has to disguise herself to enable her to live a normal life. However, by the age of fifteen, she was relaunched from actor to solo artist. Her songs were carefully constructed to be sexy, but almost acceptable – a teenager singing about her relationships or her crushes. In 2010, at seventeen years old, her management released ‘Can’t Be Tamed’, a song which describes her as crazy, sexy, wild, damaged, jagged and uncontrollable. In the video, she is dressed as a wild, exotic, sexy animal in a large cage, that rich people have paid to see. She becomes uncontrollable and difficult to tame, the rich people become frightened of her, and so the video is designed to position her as sexy, but out of control. Her clothing is ripped and shredded. Her makeup is dark. Her hair is wild.

It is vital to remember that she is not only a child at this point, but is still starring in a Disney children’s programme with a viewership of millions of small children. It is therefore interesting that some critics have speculated that this could be a deliberate process that Disney use to move their young audience towards their pop stars as they age with them. This journey towards sexy, but ultimately, mentally ill, continues for years in her career. By 2013, her music videos regularly showed her almost naked, taking drugs, and being encouraged to be as sexualised as possible. Huge smash hits such as ‘We Can’t Stop’ and ‘Wrecking Ball’ deliberately portrayed her as sexy, but disordered. Naked, but crying into the camera. Beautiful, but aggressive. Laughing but angry. Intoxicated. Exhausted. Messy. Wild. Uncontrollable. Sexy. I also have to wonder what the significance is of Miley crying into the camera with a shaved head in ‘Wrecking Ball’. Why, and how, was she positioned as sexy but psycho? In 2019, tabloids reported that Miley’s family were considering having her sectioned, in order to save her marriage to Liam Hemsworth. A source told the NW that ‘it was clear she was back in a dark place, and her family are telling her to face up to her demons and seek psychiatric treatment before it’s too late. If it saves her marriage, it will be a small price to pay.’ This is particularly distressing to read, considering that around that time she had come out as bisexual, and less than a year later, she came out as lesbian, and was in a relationship with a woman.

Selena Gomez recently announced that she had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, anxiety and depression having been put through the same process of sexualisation and framing as sexy, but psycho. Again, after being sent to a psychiatric hospital, she was told she was mentally ill.

In 2011, after yet another career which took her from Disney child star to sex object popstar in a matter of months, an eighteen-year-old Demi Lovato was ‘sent to rehab’ and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She quickly became the poster child for many mental health organisations looking to ‘raise awareness’ of bipolar disorder. In 2018, she took a near fatal overdose. However, she gave an interesting interview in 2020, in which she stated that she had been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder, and that it seemed easier for doctors to slap a label on her anger and behaviour and tell her it was bipolar disorder. In her own words, ‘bipolar was used as a convenient excuse’ for what was really happening. Similarly to Miley Cyrus, Demi gave an interview in 2021 in which she said ‘I hooked up with a girl and was like, “I like this a lot more.” It felt right.’ She went on to say, ‘I know who I am and what I am, but I’m just waiting until a specific time to come out.’ Demi said that she would feel a ‘visceral reaction to being intimate with men’, and ‘blamed herself for ignoring red flags that she was not heterosexual’. This strikes me as important, that young girls and women who might not even be heterosexual were having their young female bodies exploited, sexualised and moulded for the male gaze by multimilliondollar corporations – causing serious psychological trauma that would later be diagnosed in terms of psychiatric disorders.

Ariana Grande was quickly sexualised as a young teenage girl, and then put through the exact same process as the others. She has spoken publicly about her depression and anxiety, and says that since the terrorist bombing of her Manchester concert in 2017, she hates performing. What is interesting about Ariana’s experiences is that rather than being labelled as bipolar or psychotic like the others, the public sympathised with her trauma from the terrorist attack, and see that as a real, tangible trauma. Instead, then, she was diagnosed with PTSD and her loyal fanbase promised to support her, even if she cancelled her tour dates.

Lindsay Lohan, on the other hand, was bullied for years for her public ‘breakdown’ and drug dependency, despite disclosing domestic abuse and other traumas related to child stardom, sexualisation and pathologisation. Lindsay was diagnosed with ADHD after ‘erratic behaviour’, which UCLA have argued is a misdiagnosis, leading her to be treated with Adderall. This drug is known to have similar effects to cocaine and amphetamines. However, she was also diagnosed with bipolar and alcohol dependency, which led to her living for several years on a cocktail of Dilaudid, Ambien, Adderall, Zoloft, Trazadone and Nexium. When she was twenty-four, doctors who felt she had been misdiagnosed helped to wean her off these drugs using careful tapering methods until she was completely medication-free. Her story – of yet more abuse, trauma and pathologisation – is a sobering read. A young child star who was struggling was diagnosed with several psychiatric disorders she never had, medicated for years and then publicly mocked and criticised as crazy and promiscuous: a hot mess.

Whilst I have focused on Disney stars here, it would be wholly inaccurate to state that this journey is limited to their franchise. All of them struggled with their traumas, stress, abuse or pressure of some kind. All of them were, at some point, positioned as wild, out of control, mentally ill, problematic or attention seeking. Instead of a humanistic response to what had been done to them, the public were encouraged to laugh along, gossip, harass them and speculate about their ‘breakdowns’.”

- Sexy but Psycho: How the Patriarchy Uses Women’s Trauma Against Them by Jessica Taylor

#quote #sexy but psycho #britney spears #demi levato #lindsay lohan #miley cyrus #psychiatry #media

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bougiebutchbinch · 6 months

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This is your daily reminder that anyone can criticise your favourite show. And disabled people, queer people, mentally ill people, and people from any other minority group are always allowed to criticise representation within your favourite show.

Obviously, a few people from the same minority group will disagree with this criticism. Everyone's gonna have a different opinion - that's great.

But that does not in any way invalidate the original criticism, especially when it's coming from so many people with visible mobility disabilities, survivors of suicide and abuse, and queer people.

That doesn't mean critics think the show is evil and should be destroyed forever. It doesn't mean they think that the show isn't good representation for you, with your specific intersection of representation needs, or that you can't enjoy it - or that you are a bad person for enjoying it.

Critics are allowed to stop supporting the show for future seasons because they dislike the representation, or the writing, or for any other reason. If you are sending anons over something so minimal as someone no longer wanting another season of your favourite show, then, frankly, I suspect you are a literal child. But also, you have a weird cultish relationship with this fandom and should probably step back.

Hell, I'm gonna try and step back, for the sake of my own mental health. I always wind up getting at least one weird anon per fandom, as I am Loud And AnnoyingTM - to the point where I see it as a bit of a badge of pride. Means I'm part of the fandom now, if I'm in deep enough - and noisy enough - to get nonsense. That doesn't particularly bother me.

But I cannot deal with the constant frustration of seeing fellow fans not understanding the very basic concept of 'a stranger on the internet can love this show, but still be disappointed in it and criticise it, and that is not an attack on me, personally'.

I encourage you to love the show! I love that you love it! I still somewhat love it, and I certainly love to criticise it! Criticism is just another form of interaction with a piece of media, and one that is integral to any fandom! It's not a threat to you or your appreciation of the show!

What becomes problematic is when you mock criticism, especially when it's coming from a whole bunch of marginalised voices.

Why are you being so aggressive about decrying everyone who complains as 'overemotional' and 'hysterical'? Why are you trying so hard to minimise and misinterpret the opinions of visibly physically disabled people who have struggled a lot with their disability, when invisible disability rep and casual positive disability rep are no less important but entirely different sorts of representation?

If you disagree, maybe just have some empathy and let marginalised people speak? Why are you so determined to die on the hill of defending a TV show from any and all criticism?

Which is all to say:

Your fandom is not exempt from criticism. Yes, you are still allowed to love your blorbos and your show. This is pretty fucking basic Fandom 101.

#ofmd #our flag means death #izzy hands #ed teach #stede bonnet #ofmd meta #blackbeard #the edcourse #the izcourse #sigh. me every day: I'm gonna step away from this nonsense for real now #but now I feel the anger has moved into just... frustration #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #steddyhands #do people really not understand this in the year 2023??

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thatsexcpisces · 2 years

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Astrology observations pt.5

- I’ve noticed that many of the people who have an alcohol addiction or drink A LOT when they go out, are Pisces moons

- people with Saturn in the 2nd house may have felt that they always had the less fortunate family when it came to money and way of living, and admired other richer families for being able to afford things they wanted (may have had trauma regarding poverty)

- Lilith in 3h/9h people may have felt insecure when it comes to an academic setting or situation meaning they probably felt dumber than others or afraid to express their true opinions. They may have had teachers or siblings who tried to make them feel stupid or treated them badly.

- Taurus moons have very complicated relationships with food. Some of my friends have this placement and they can go from having a serious eating disorder and struggling to eat anything to later overeating, always bringing food with them, always making sure they eat well, etc

- i feel like the sign in your 5th house shows your opinion on wanting children or how you would treat your children in the future. Ex: Taurus/cancer in the 5th house people may want to nurture and care for their child and look forward to having one. Sagittarius in the 5h may prefer their freedom and don’t really plan on having kids that early on.

- Pluto-Venus aspect people really bring out the scorpion energy in relationships imo. They can go to extremes with their possessiveness and jealousy over someone they love and can sometimes even feel that they love so deeply and no one matches their energy or others don’t care as much as they do.

- On that note, Having 8h synastry with someone is SO FUCKING INTENSE. Especially if one of you has your moon in the other person’s 8h. The moon person feels more imo and they’re the one that gets easily obsessed over the other person and stalks the hell out of them/watches their every move. I feel like it then takes the house person more time for their obsession to grow and to realize how much they need/love the moon person.

- This is a weird observation but Cancer risings have moments where they just randomly talk in a baby voice for no reason lol (unironically or ironically)

- If you have mars trine/square/sextile Pluto you’re def the hottest person in the room

- I feel like gemini men are more “pick-me” and brag more than Leo men. Like they just love talking about themselves lol

- People are so naturally attracted to sun-jupiter aspects and Leo rising people. Like they just draw people in and make friends so easily. They just have some sort of energy to them where they could be sitting in a room and people come up and talk to them automatically.

- Mars in 4h people easily get upset and annoyed by people in their household

- Individuals w Moon in the 8h May inherit mental illness from their mother or their mother could already have some sort of a mental illness that made their life very difficult

- Women with their ascendant in square or opposition to Lilith could likely be hated on by other females or women are naturally jealous and envious of them because they possess such a raw and sexually attractive energy

- Virgo moons 🤝 giving people their unsolicited opinion when no one ever asked them for it

- Venus in Capricorns will remember the smallest and I mean the TINIEST details about you If they’ve ever liked you. Even if they got over their crush on you, you 2 could be having a normal conversation and they will mention the most detailed thing about you that you didn’t even remember about yourself. It’s scary

- Libra mercuries on the other hand, actually have trouble remembering most details. They might forget things like your birthday here and there but the most ironic thing is Libra placements pick and choose something specific you did to remember and maybe even hold a grudge on, and you’ll never have a clue as of what it is.

- Mars in Gemini are so funny when they’re upset. They have the best insults and roasts which gives them no shame in absolutely destroying you with words

- A developed Capricorn woman’s confidence is the equivalent of an Aries man’s confidence (so they’re really loud and proud)

- Don’t ever fuck with someone who has Neptune or Jupiter in their 12th house cause the universe will be BREATHING down your back for anything bad you do to them

- Idk why everyone says all Aquarius are introverted and antisocial when tbh they’re some of the most confident, laid-back, and extroverted people you’ll ever meet. Many of the Aquarius I’ve met always tell me they’ll never miss an opportunity to go out and are very social

#astrology #astrology observations #zodiac #zodiac signs #capricorn #gemini #leo #taurus #aries #aquarius #astrotips #astrology notes #venus #pisces #neptune #synastry #synastry observations #virgo #horoscope

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charmedreincarnation · 2 months

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Hi charm. Your posts have helped me lots! Im keeping consistent for once and understand the law and shifting properly. My question is that I’ve been trying to considerate my understanding and application of states and A+P. This sounds stupid but I go back and forth and try to apply them, but the debates about them don’t make sense to me. I think rn I reinstate more with states but some I do prefer to just affirm and I’m just curious on which one you “preferred” and how you applied that to shifting. Thanks 😊

I think it really does depend. I love the law of consciousness, and under that really anything goes. But for me personally, I really do think there’s a point of no return when it comes to A and P and states. Just in my experience, feel free to believe and do what you like. First and foremost, your beliefs are more important in your reality. But I feel like everyone says that so often. If you don’t understand that, it's not really my job to coddle anyone at this point 😭😭 everyone is their own god and that’s the most important thing to understand.

But I started my journey back in 2020 when I was 16, and I manifested so much with mirror work and affirmations because I didn’t know about the law, and honestly I barely knew anything about manifesting either. I was only a shifter. And all my shifting friends, not on Tumblr, who shifted pretty easily and I consider "master shifters" (not that it exists or matters), honestly didn’t get into LOA either. They just affirmed (but used LOA, by knowing they’d wake up in their desired reality without knowing). Ever since then, they don’t gripe in the community because sometimes ignorance rlly is bliss. If I was in 2020 and stuck with that, I would have gotten everything so easily. But looking back, somethings happen for a reason because the desires and drs I wanted at 16 are nothing like the life/drs I want and have right now. I’m so grateful I struggled for a bit; it was a blessing in disguise 😭😭😭.

Around that time, I hated LOA because I talked about this in a different ask, but my favorite master shifter on Reddit (I’m an OG Reddit girl) who brought LOA to Reddit eventually left because she claimed she thought she was mentally ill, and shifting is psychosis. So I hated Neville and LOA for a while, which is so funny, because what did he do? I also didn’t like states because none of my shifting friends knew about that, and all shifting was just knowing and affirming. I wanted to do that too, not live in my head or whatever I understood states as.

I obviously eventually learned about LOA properly and learned so much about the "mechanics" and origins and over-consumed, just like a lot of you guys. When I tried to go back to A+P, I struggled so much because I really did believe in states. I thought about my horrible childhood, but how I got through it was knowing and believing in magic and my eternal happiness. From ages 9-14, I was a very happy and lucky child despite my circumstances and depression, because I was in the state of someone who had it all. I always knew life was more than what we can see with our eyes, so really, I knew A+P wasn’t really what was working, it was my state. But I refused to admit that for a while and got mad when my affirmations stopped working (that’s what I mean by point of no return).

Also, my shifting friends are using states, and when I started asking them about it, they started talking learned about their methods and how they suceeed easily. Most of them used some variation of SATS without knowing and music to fulfill their inner man and know that, regardless, they’ll wake up in their desired reality. So I started doing the same, and that’s how I manifested my first shift.

But everyone is so different. Like look at all the success stories. Some people just use science and logic with lucid dreaming steps. A lot of people in LOA now didn’t even use LOA to manifest at first or get into the void or whatever. Some people shift without knowing or by accident, etc., etc. The point is understanding states helped me because that’s the type of person I am; I like knowing the mechanics behind the seemingly magic. But maybe you don’t, maybe you don’t care about states, you know they’re behind everything but don’t care. That’s all good too. I don’t care how anyone achieves or understands the law to get their dream life, as long as they’re not spreading misinformation. The law is about you and understanding what fulfills you; you don’t need to follow debates to fulfill yourself.

A lot of people feel very strongly about their beliefs because it’s what helped them achieve their dream life, so they’ll die on hills for it. And I honestly get it; that’s how you feel about shifting. So I really don’t like when people try to dunk on it or like "debunk it." And that’s how everyone feels for their beliefs; it’s the human in us, we feel strongly about our passions. But don’t let people make you feel bad about your beliefs. Sometimes Tumblr can get like middle school-esque with the labels and drama, but again, it’s a good reminder that no matter how godly you are, we still have our human shell, and that’s oddly comfortable to me so I don’t care that much tbh. Just do you girl, at the end of the day it’s your happiness that matters

#law of assumption #manifesation #shiftblr #manifesting #reality shifting

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disniq · 1 year

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The thing is, I actually think it's a super interesting angle to look at the intersection of trauma and mental illness and vigilantism and coping mechanisms with Jason's character.

But, for me, if you want to seriously ask at what point does Jason need therapy more than he needs the vigilante lifestyle it's not Red Hood Jason you should be looking at. Red Hood Jason was literally murdered and the mysteriously resurrected. That's not something you can therapy your way out of! That's something that no amount of talking will ever help you understand, because it's a completely incomprehensible event!

No, if anyone needs therapy it's 12 year old Jason.

It's 12 year old Jason, who has poverty trauma and homelessness trauma and prison system trauma and parentification trauma and drug related trauma and, depending on your reading, potentially sexual trauma.

It's 12 year old Jason, who is taken in by Bruce - a man who is *also* severely traumatised (in extremely different ways) and chooses to dress up as a Bat and punch people about it instead of seeking healthy coping strategies.

It's 12 year old Jason, who Bruce decides - without psychiatric training or so much as a second opinion - needs the same outlet that "helped" Bruce and "helped" Dick.

And by the time aditf rolls around, Bruce is maybe just realising that he's made a mistake. But it's too late, because for two years he's told this child - a child who arguably feels indebted to him, a child who is extremely isolated and had very few if any other trusted adults to talk to - that violence and avoidance is how you deal with emotions.

I think that's fascinating to think about!

That Bruce's own failure to process his trauma left him blind to what Jason might actually have benefited from! That if Bruce had noticed Jason struggling earlier, if he'd reacted differently or explained himself better in aditf, Jason might not have felt the need to travel around the world alone looking for a woman he'd never met and only just learned about!

That if *Bruce* had been healthier, had been to therapy instead of throwing all his energy into vigilantism, none of this might have happened!

Reframe Red Hood Jason as a tragedy of Bruce's own making, not because of the classist bullshit that Jason was always going to end up a criminal and Bruce failed to stop that, but because Bruce's terrible coping mechanisms became *Jason's* terrible coping mechanisms and nobody likes to see the worst parts of themselves in the mirror.

#jason todd #bruce wayne #they're mirrors! you can't say jason should get therapy and quit vigilantism and nit say the same about bruce!#like i fully understand that the comics can't take this angle because that would mean accepting that batman makes mistakes #that he's not always right and correct and fucking infallible #but this idea is so prevalent in fandom and i just. c'mon guys. don't do DCs victim blaming for them #if you're going to say Jason's lifestyle choices are self harming you have to acknowledge where he learned them #my meta

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venusianc0mplex · 9 months

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Children of Hekate

Children of Hekate are mysterious, intriguing, magnetic, and sensual artists who are forced to learn how to alchemize their pain into blessings and gifts for humankind, On the outside they seem to have it all; influence, power, charm, beauty, and success. However, underneath those layers of glory are usually whirlpools of pain that never cease to an end. The tragic but empowering lives of Hekate kids always make the most captivating stories to tell.

Gifts

Sexy as FUCK and got rizz for daysssss

Naturally draw people in with their aura

Very gifted with magic and spells

Very intuitive people

Extremely creative people

Very in touch with their own emotions

They are very good at making you feel seen and heard

They spot people’s shadow sides very easily

They tend to know what the other person wants

People wants to get close to them or want to dig into their life

They gain fans very easily

They are very emotionally understanding people

Good at making other people feel loved and cared for

LOVED by the opposite sex

Exudes sex and can’t hide that

Their emotions really draw you in because they are very intense

They really care about the wellbeings of the underdogs

They are down to help someone for free

Their artwork speaks to people no matter what it is they put out there

Gifted astrologers because Hekate’s mom is Asteria

They are very good at turning their negative emotions into artwork

Takes good care of small animals and kids

Naturally protective and they are naturally fighters

They have the ability to walk out of any darkness imposed on them

They can fight through anything in life even if some people might take longer

They are some of the most empathetic people once healed from their traumas

A LOT of people want a piece of them

They can spot people’s shadow side very easily

They naturally have influence over others

Very gifted prophets

They have the power to push through any hardships in life

Common Themes in the Life of a Child of Hekate

They feel their emotions at an intensity most people don’t get to experience

Prone to developing mental health illnesses due to Hekate’s 3 form’s collective energy being overwhelming on the native

Experience the most emotional swings in life

Thoughts are so powerful they will always have a significant impact on their reality

It’s best for them to not stick to one career path throughout their lifetime

Their manifestations are so powerful they need to be careful what they wish for

Extremely volatile self-esteem

Most of them grew up with fragmented families

Prone to negative thinking/bad self-talk

They need gentler treatment from people around them

Prone to victim mindset

No matter what happens in life, as long as they try hard, they will always be kept afloat

They tend to get more help from people of the opposite sex than people of the same sex

Attracts jealousy very easily

They need to choose their romantic partners very wisely

Most of them are prone to falling for the hot but toxic partner

Their family can set them back for years

They struggle with grasping the truth and getting a good sense of reality

Maintaining good mental health should be their no.1 priority in life

They are either easily influenced by people’s dark sides or become the toxic one that influence others negatively

They are usually very genuine with their emotions

They are usually the black sheep of their family

Probably made a contract to sacrifice their early childhood happiness for material success and magical powers

They usually got prominent sideral cancer, aquarius, and/or pisces placements in their chart. (usually a combination of cancer + something else)

Deep thinkers

Need HUGE amounts of spiritual protection to thrive in life

Treats animals very well

People who learned their lessons and worked on their shadow selves usually become VERY good parents

Extremely protective

Natural guides/protectors

A lot of them will always have a kind heart no matter what life throws at them

Challenges

Almost all of them face MASSIVE struggles with their mental health as they are influenced by all 3 of Hekate’s sides but that energy is often times too much for a human to handle

Extremely prone to escapism and unhealthy coping mechanisms

They are prone to drowning in their depressive feelings for a very very long time

They can be too emotional or vengeful to their own detriment

Prone to self-isolation or pushing everyone around them away

Prone to extremities

They are usually born into dogshit biological families

Struggles with an intense amount of suicidal thoughts

Usually surrounded by bad influences in their early childhood

Too stubborn to change for their own good sometimes

Their negative thoughts can manifest into their actions very fast

“Becareful what you wish for”

They LOVE going for the popular boy/girl whos actually emotionally unavailable af just because it satisfies their ego (Medea’s lesson)

Extremely Stubborn

Suffer from a lot of jealousy (at them or towards others)

Trouble expressing their vulnerabilities

Spiritually vulnerable and prone to being taken advantage of

People LOVE to disrespect their boundaries

Can suffer really deeply from sexual harassments

Prone to lashing out in very extreme ways that push people away

Suffer a lot from betrayals, especially from their families

They have to learn to overcome a huge amount of darkness in life

They suffer a lot from the evil eye

Suffer from unwanted attention

Not the best at giving a good first impression

Controversial

A lot of them struggle with BPD, ADHD, Bipolar, and etc

People are usually dismissive of the emotions they struggle with are they are judgmental towards it

They are usually not given the same grace they give to others

They tend to give to the wrong people until they learn their boundaries

They attract a lot of problematic people to them

Their vengefulness can cause them a lot of trouble in life

A lot of them face a horrible amount of abuse in their earlier life

They have trouble putting their egos down to ask for help

Disclaimer: Everything written above stemmed from my own observations, I'm not claiming to be 100% accurate on everything

#deity work #deity worship #greek gods #greek mythology #hellenic gods #spirituality #greek pantheon #observations #pjo #records #hekate #hecate #mythology #ancient greece #goddess worship #goddess of magic #the hardest one i have to write by far #for reasons i cant say

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josnhoes · 10 months

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Dc knak au with the batfam and a fem!disabled reader.

Warning: yandere (knak aus are by base yandere), mentions of illness, mentions of poor mental health

You'd been more tired lately, you noted mentally with a frown. The aches and pains had gotten worse too. When you'd woken up in the new body you had been excited thinking maybe the health problems from your past life would be gone. But no such luck.

In a way it had worked in your favor, no one wanted to adopt a weird kid let alone one who had so many struggles. At least until the Wayne family showed up. It had been a fund raiser thing, you didn't care much for the details; but all the kids at the home were in attendance. You had been forced to come despite being in a lot of pain and feeling oh so worn down.

You stayed away from the other kids, and the various adults who were there to support the home and possibly adopt. You'd limped your way into a quiet corner trying hard not to let the pain in your back make you cry in public. The head of the home sent a glare your way and you knew there would be consequences later.

This was one of the better homes in Gotham, so the punishment wouldn't be abusive. A grounding and a lecture, which sucked since you couldn't help how you physically felt. But they didn't understand, how could they? They were grown able bodied adults and to adults kids exaggerating feeling bad was common. Still you wished they try.

The batfam or the majority that had made the appearance while the others did patrol had been watching the kids like hawks. This entire event set up to scope out rumors of large foster homes being used as a front for trafficking children. They were all pleased to see this one didn't seem to have that issues. But they couldn't help but notice the one child who limped, who looked pale and more tired then any child so small should.

It was Dick who approached you a soft smile on his face, "Hey there kiddo you feeling okay?"

You recognized him no way you couldn't, "It's not important." And it wasn't he had more important things to worry about then you.

"Of course it's important," he tried to reassure you taking note of how his words just made you seem more tired and sad.

"It's really not. I'm always sick and in pain. 'S not contagious or nothing if that's what you're worried about. It just doesn't go away."

"That a pretty big word for someone so little." He gave anlaugh but the concern on his face was painfully obvious. Dick had always been the more open one emotionally, at least when he was in civilian mode. He wasn't completely readable just what he wanted people to read.

You blinked at him looking done. Maybe it was the pain, or the depression, or the over all ick you felt but you snipped at him, "I'm not a fucking idiot dickie-bird. Now please leave me alone, I just..." you gave a sigh deep and pained, "I just want to rest."

Dick was shocked, one you had just cussed at him, and two you used a nickname only Jason used. He didn't know *how* you knew it but he knew there was something about you. Even if the nickname was a coincidence you had his attention and you clearly needed their help.

He left as you closed your eyes. You hoped the matron didn't catch wind that you dropped an F-bomb at one of Bruce Wayne's kids. But at the same time you couldn't bring yourself to care. You just wanted to rest.

You wouldn't get that chance as you were approached again this time by Bruce himself, him and Damien that was. He'd been concerned at your state, but when Dick had told him to speak to you Bruce knew something was up. The whole group had been trying to stop his adoption habit yet his eldest seemed to insist he meet you.

Damien had come over simply to see what the fuss was about. Upon seeing you he couldn't help but think how pathetic you looked. Curled up in a corner so small and frail. Gotham... no the world would tear you apart. Hebwas supposed to protect the weak. He could not leave you here where obviously your needs weren't being met.

The look he shared with his father seemed to echo his own thoughts. That fact soothed him. You would never be like them, a hero; but he'd always kind of wanted a soft little sister to dote on. And if Richard's words were anything to go by you had a spark in you that he wanted to help grow.

Bruce didn't see any signs of abuse as he looked you over. You were a tad thin but he supposed if you'd been sick a while that maybe you were struggling to eat. Equally possible was you just struggled to put on weight. You weren't an unhealthy weight. God you looked so *small* like he could carry you in his hands. You weren't that small but he couldn't help but think it. And how long had it been since there was new tiny feet parading around in the manor? Maybe just maybe it was time to fix that.

#dc knak au #yandere #platonic yandere

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despazito · 1 year

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like i have such conflicting feelings about the pathologizing of mental illness nowadays and the culture it creates. i think the need to have ones dx, at least in my case, was driven by a fundamental urge for validation that what i’m feeling isn't just a phase or something that will sort itself out. i think women especially have had our pain and struggles so minimized, i had lows wishing i just had a broken leg so others could at least see my pain. i clung to my dx and feet like waving it to the world shouting its not just in my head!! i’m not just lazy!!

in some ways getting the dx is like getting a pedigree for your fucked up brain. like this isnt some backyard bred tiktok adhd, this is PUREBRED adhd with the papers to prove it!!! all these women like myself who were looking for a voice and affirmation through dx to prove they “aren’t just one of those girls who’s too sensitive and googled their symptoms”, but now that’s also created its own trope of “overdiagnosed girl in her 20s” and there’s a whole new stereotype to mock and invalidate. there’s just no winning, it really feels like our pain will never get taken seriously by society to matter which route we take to get heard we are dismissed.

but of course these slips of paper become vital if you need any assistance or accommodations, so they are incredibly beneficial to have.

my issue is the more i reflect, the more i do feel like many emotional disturbances or brain funkiness ESPECIALLY depression and anxiety are the result of, or at least become more aggravated, by unluckiness in your childhood relationships and the narrative we created about it. turns out you don’t need to be textbook abused to have adverse experiences, and a failure to have a healthy secure relationship to your primary caregiver fucks with you for life but nobody wants to talk about that. i do think we live in a society here in canada where parental rights to parent how their want is overstepping on the child’s right to have the healthiest possible environment to be raised in. i had spent years reading about the lifelong effects of parental deprivation or bad socialization in dogs and parrots before reading about it in humans, and i think we forget how much humans are also animals.

but the thing is you can work on relationships, you can begin to process trauma. when i tell myself “i’m a person with anxiety” it feels really loaded with a sense of finality that i will always live this way.. the more i use that language the more futile it feels about ever improving, when so often depression and anxiety are the result of deeper unresolved issues. I see so many people with phobias or fears resign to living painful lives than trying to work on any exposure or processing their fears. i’d still be miserable if i never worked through my intense fears of intimacy, i was perfectly resigned to a life of being alone and thought i was content with that.

turns out growing up with trauma can cause the same unfocused and disorganized presentation as clinical adhd.i’ll admit i didn’t like learning that one, as adhd already has so many deniers my kneejerk response was anger at my adhd being invalidated. but i think a lot of adhd people fall somewhere in between that venn diagram, and rejecting a traumagenic theory for some people’s symptoms means they will be prescribed the wrong treatment plan. and this is why all treatment plans put emphasis on talk therapy just as much as pharmacological intervention.

obviously some things aren’t the result of your childhood! your mom yelling at you doesn’t cause autism, but chances are if you’re autistic and had cruddy support you’ll face more adversities and mental health struggles than a good supportive environment. similarly, you could’ve grown up with all the love and support to thrive but one day your thyroid decides it’s time to make you feel like roadkill.

idk, what i’m trying to say is don’t corner yourself or resign from living life because of your mental health dx or think that you’ll never get better because you “have” this, chances are there’s always room to feel better. the most hurtful thing is our inner voice if it’s internalized negative language, and there’s exercises you can practice to drill more positive or at least neutral nonjudgemental language into your inner critic. because even if you have something that will never be cured, the way we talk to ourselves about it is a variable we have some power over.

the narrative part experiencing trauma is uniquely human. some people will experience horrible things and internalize the negativity or self blame, but resilient people have better prognosis because they have ability to frame things in a narrative that don’t assign self blame, and critiques the behaviour instead of the self. because so many complications and struggles arise out of kicking ourselves when we’re down. but the thing is this usually can’t happen on its own, we need to see this modeled by the people around us. but thankfully if we missed the boat, we CAN retrain that voice

anyway that’s my musings from my perspective. for anyone curious here’s a lecture that really resonated with me, its got some hard hitting truths i didn’t want to hear but sometimes you gotta hear things that make you uncomfortable

#mental health #maybe you feel like none of this applies to you and thats ok!#im speaking for my own experiences

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teentoospoiled · 3 months

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débutante diaries

“If I were a mother I would be damned if my child took advice from you,”

That stung me when I initially read that.

Throughout my rocky healing journey, I’ve learned that I have to target my teenage self in order to begin healing what was broken. My teenage self was physically and emotionally abandoned. This manifested itself into self abandonment, toxic traits and irresponsible choices.

TTS (teenTOOspoiled) is not only meant for teens. It is a safe space for adults to discuss what we wish we knew as a teen. Kitchen table talk; the adults are talking. And we are inviting nearby teenagers to listen and ask questions.

As a teenager, I wish I knew how to address my problems and emotions instead of distracting myself with work, boys or burying my feelings and responsibilities. I wish I began learning certain skills sooner such as languages or techniques to protect myself from a mental health crisis.

I WISH I KNEW…

Self reliance

Personal and business finance

The dangers of casual xes

Avoidance is a trauma response (dodging the bill collector, for example).

Can I be honest? I HATE TALKING ABOUT MY SH !!!

I was raised in a black household that taught me to keep people out my business. In addition, my family dismissed mental illness overall therefore so did I. I feel very uncomfortable talking about something so personal, to strangers.

But. I remember coming across an article that made my heart drop:

Black Girls Are Experiencing Record Rates of Self Injury & Death by Scide

Don’t skip it. Read it, it’s short.

I owe my audience transparency. Especially those who are 13-20, my teenagers.

My ask and messages are open, therefore I feel as if my audience should know exactly who they’re asking advice from.

I do not (always) give advice because I’m doing/have done better. Most times I give advice because I’ve struggled through it and learned the harsh lessons already.

Especially when it comes to dating. Another thing that I want my teenage audience to know: I was xes trafficked at the age of 14 and stayed in the SW industry until I was 21. My advice comes from picking the brains of my peers (other SWers), clients, miscellaneous staff (assistants, for example) and diligent observation.

They ask me what I do and who I do it for. I do this all for my teenage self. I survived by the grace of my spirit team and my smarts. Both street and books smarts. Another form of “code switching”.

I am signing off with inviting my teenager viewers to tell an adult about following TTS. Follow us on IG @teentoospoiled if you don’t want to expose your Tumblr account lol. It takes a village and adults shouldn’t be talking to children (teens) without the approval or supervision of an adult.

Tell your parents, your big sister or older friend. Tell them about my SH. Tell them about @bootobeneficiary . Question them about their thoughts on celibacy. Ask them if they’re comfortable with you following me. Always check in with them before following any advice of mine, unless it’s advice on how to protect yourself from them.

Practice transparency, as I am practicing with you.

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laundryandtaxes · 1 year

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When the whole thing is said and done, I hope that what comes out of the medical scandal of pediatric transition is an understanding not just of the fact that it's important not to let ideology guide practice such that real physicians tell outright lies, ideological abstractions, and/or functionally religious beliefs (that one may have been born in the wrong body, or that one may have the wrong variety of brain in their body, or that one could possibly be "harmed" by going through one's natural puberty in and of itself, etc) to patients who are literally too young to distinguish between lies and truth, but also an understanding that what happened here on the whole with the medical approach to gender dysphoria was a total abdication of duty to provide least invasive practices first, total refusal to provide justification for the practice of selling extreme body modification to people who are at least often obsessively convinced that something is wrong with their body when medicine doesn't do this regularly for any other patients with body distress, total failure of safeguarding practices in a patient group very likely to contain vulnerable and otherwise emotionally distressed patients, and most of all a refusal to even try to address the mental health concerns of a group of people that these physicians just decided on no basis (there are no large studies comparing overall outcomes with transition treated as an actual variable, wherein some people are given one treatment, others none, others another treatment, underlying this practice) were too ill to respond to all of the practices we have already accepted as approaches to psychological distress.

This is at the heart of why ROGD has so many people freaked out- sure, those people who show signs of extreme gender nonconformity in childhood, who grow more distressed than normal at the onset of puberty because it means a loss of the androgyny that protects so much of child gender nonconformity, who are likely to grow into crossdressing homosexual or bisexual adults, who are more likely than other people to struggle with obsessive and compulsive tendencies, who are more likely to struggle to connect with other people socially, I'm sure they require surgical and hormonal body modification in order to live happy and healthy lives, but I am quite sure that no such treatment is right for my sweet, outgoing, heterosexual daughter who until 6 months ago was never very gender nonconforming. People like her deserve extra safeguarding so that the only treatment medicine ever even attempted at scale for this psychological problem is reserved for the people who truly cannot be integrated into society any other way. It is really quite deeply offensive that, because very gender nonconforming people are less valued, we got none of the normal safeguarding or study or approach to treatment that people who approach doctors with broken bones or other physical problems receive. Of course there is always some very real chance that we just happened upon the "right" treatment, but for one thing we don't know that because we simply never tried anything less invasive the way one normally does in medicine (let alone actual comparative studies different potential treatment options) and for another it's currently being sold to people using ideological abstractions or functionally religious concepts that have no basis in reality like the concept of being born in the wrong body. Those are both problems no matter how long medicine is allowed to continue ignoring them, which by the way will not be forever. If medicine cannot reign itself in, if it cannot police itself, then the only actors left to reign it in are all much more susceptible to their own forms of ideological capture than medicine was, such as state legislatures, which is bad for everyone in the same way that state intervention in doctor/patient decisions is almost always bad for everyone.

#done #once i realized the majority of patients are still dysphoric when they are #which of course the goalposts always move for us because the problem isn't actually any of our body parts #but that when done we are on the whole not just still a little dysphoric but able to ignore it but still extremely obsessed #i was like okay so what the fuck are they selling us and on what basis are they selling it #and i looked really hard for that basis but mostly it seems nobody even believes they need to justify what theyre selling #it is astounding

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plusvanity · 1 year

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Alright so, I wouldn't have finished this so soon but some of you showed interest in my silly ramblings sooooo... here are some of my headcanons for Larry's 'aloof' personality.

Asperger Syndrome

-Since he was a small child, there were a few behavioral differences between him and the rest of the children.

He never really knew how to properly communicate. That might be very common in children BUT he literally had struggles trying to explain anything. Sentences like: 'I want that' or 'can I have that?' were never on his tongue and lots of time he'd get upset at himself/ people around him for not being able to read his mind and take care of his demands. This kind of behavior crosses a bit into 'anti-social' tenancies. (Hard time to communicate, preferred playing alone, very poor social skills, etc) Shortly, his 'forever-upset' personality resulted in children excluding/ isolating him from their games and plays.

-Larry didn't know why nobody wanted to play with him, why everybody avoided him like plague and gave him dubious looks. Throughout his kindergarten and early-school years he never made friends, never had any significant relationships except with his parents.

Why did nobody see these signs and act accordingly?

We're in the late 90's. There's no such thing as ‘diagnosing kids with mental illness’ unless they've got some kind of schizophrenia that really makes them act out. Parents had little to no information about mental health, let alone autism and how it manifests in children. Rough times but that's how they were.

-Growing up lonely, Larry found his refuge in drawing and writing silly little cartoon stories. Solo hobbies are extremely common in the autistic spectrum, especially when they come in package with die-hard fixations/ obsessions.

-Sensorial sensibility: he can’t stand bright lights in his basement. That’s why he always keeps a small desk lamp on and nothing else to see around him.

-In school, he did poorly. The motto was: it’s either you’re the only one who gets it and nobody else does OR everybody else gets it and you’re the only one who doesn’t. No way in between these two.

-The internal struggle of 'Why am I like this? Why do they hate me? What's wrong with me?' never left his brain. Now, communication was absolutely required no matter if he liked it or not. That's school, you're supposed to answer stuff, use your brains to solve problems and get through the day.

-Firstly, he did what his autistic mind told him to do.. he went fully fucking honest and blunt. With every occasion when he got asked about something, he innocently pointed out everything that bothered him/ seemed wrong or annoying without any fucking filter whatsoever. Needless to say, his true-nature approach didn’t escape punishment. His mother was called, the teachers complained that he’s ‘too mean and arrogant’ , ‘never focused’ , ‘too lazy and selfish’ etc. Everything while Larry looked like a fucking deer in the highlights telling his mom that he didn't do nothing wrong.

-When he finally understood that ‘being honest’ wasn't the key for normal human-communication, that's when his mind began searching for other ways to go by.

-Masking-

Masking was the second option.

-He watched, heard, studied, learned and taught himself the Fine Arts of mimicking normal human response in social situations. Now, that's how he mostly made it work.

-As a chill but tragically misunderstood child, he had finally learned how to make friends. It started with Ash and Maple (alternative music and general outcasts) and later in middle-school, Ash presented him to Todd. (Now, I'd rant about Rob and their 'brother from another mother' dynamic and friendship but that's for another long post if any of you are interested)

-When his father abruptly disappeared from the family frame, it just.... made everything ten thousand times worse for Larry (This is gonna be another post if you're interested)

-All in all, now with a select group of friends he’s still aloof, weird, too loud or too quiet sometimes BUT at least he’s not alone and miserable anymore.

Normally, he's a laid back dude, a stoner (autism and substance abuse is another headache of a post..) a metalhead and maybe just a little delinquent sometimes after 8 pm because of teenage rebellion and all that stuff.

-His ‘masking act’ falls sometimes when he talks about painting, video games, music and basically everything that interests him. Asperger in boys is a lot different than in girls. Girls tend to keep their ‘masking act’ better than boys as boys often don't realize when they slip and start talking miles and miles about their favorite hobbies/ subjects without noticing if the person they're talking to completely loses their interest or gets angry for being talked over and interrupted all the time.

His friends find him a bit annoying at times cause… fuck, who like being talked over? but they’re so used to him that it’s just common and gets easily forgotten.

-When the sudden chronic-insomnia hit him, the fatigue and lethargy didn't go unnoticed by Lisa. Finally, she managed to drag him to a doctor that surprisingly or not, completely missed to diagnose him with autism. The shrink blamed his insomnia on weed (another rant here) and …. ADHD?. Larry took the classic DSM-4 test (oh boy, gotta love the 90′s..) it came back negative on symptoms, confirming everybody that he didn't have ADHD. (Now, I know that the two behavioral illnesses often came in package but with Larry it wasn't the case) After that, nobody did anything.

-Now, he lives freely his teenage years hanging out with Sal, regularly smoking weed, getting deeply offended by the un-true belief that he might have ADHD, still trying to figure out what's actually wrong with him that no shrink or DSM could tell and ultimately enjoying his hobbies and little shenanigans him and his best amigo do.

-The ‘masking act’ has long become an automatic behavior, an unconscious switch for normal social situations so, now he’s most definitely not aware that he’s doing it.

Sal highly suspects him of being autistic due to the fact that he had far more contacts with doctors and psychiatrists in his entire life that he knows VERY WELL the red flags or autistic behaviors. That and because of their first interaction when Larry was like ‘Sup, you like metal? You GOTTA like metal!’ it screams autism from a fucking mile.

This post is embarrassingly LONG and useless.. and I'll shut the fuck up now for real. BUT If anyone feels like asking questions or going deeper down this rabbit hole, feel free to text me <3 as I love waffling about psychology and pretty much anything lol.

Sorry for my bad English, I did my best in trying to explain all that's written above. These are just some of my little silly headcanons and possibly?? more in-depth explanations for some of the things that go on in my SF fanfic.

Ko-fi l DeviantArt

#my art #my drawings #sally face #sally face fanart #larry sally face #larry johnson #sf fanart #sf sally #sf larry #sal fisher #my headcanons #artists on tumblr

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andreal831 · 3 months

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How do you think the Mikaelson’s lives would have turned out had they been human?

Sorry for the delay in answering! I forgot this one was in my drafts.

It's really hard to say since we know so little about their human lives. When we see flashbacks, we mostly see the bad parts of it. Mainly Mikael's anger. But each Mikaelson also reflects fondly on parts of their human lives.

Part of my writing takes place during their human lives so I spend a lot of time thinking about what their lives were actually like past the small glimpses we see. I also like to think about the trajectory of their lives because I think it makes it all the more devastating how their lives turned out. I honestly think they would have had good lives.

I really don't know what Finn would have been doing since we see so little of his personality outside of his attachment to Esther. But because of this attachment I feel like he would potentially never marry. Esther feared brining Dahlia to them and would have tried to prevent any of them from having children. But I also like to imagine Finn would have met someone like Sage who would have captured his attention and he would have run off with her. I don't see Finn ever being close to his siblings, so he likely would have been the first to leave and not look back. I truly think that would be best for him. To start his own family and his own life away from the pain of losing Freya.

Elijah would have married Tatia and become a step-father to her son. Esther would have been thrilled because it gave Elijah the chance to have a child without triggering Dahlia's deal. She likely would have tried to do something to prevent any more kids. But Tatia and Elijah would have had a nice, simple life together and would have been incredibly happy.

I think Klaus would have been better off. While we see him struggle with his werewolf temper and his trauma from his childhood, he would have had more of a chance to work through it. Being on the run from Mikael and having his anger/mental illness exacerbated by vampirism pushed Klaus down a dark path. I like to think at some point, Klaus and Elijah would have felt strong enough to challenge Mikael. Mikael would have gotten older and Klaus and Elijah would have become more prominent members of the village. Klaus standing up to his abuser would have given him the closure he never had in his thousand years. He would have met someone, fallen in love, had a family, and hopefully have stopped the cycle of abuse rather than falling into it.

Kol, I could also see leaving the village. Traveling the world and finding witches to share his knowledge and learn. He would have written home and visited occasionally, but found his love for adventure and exploration elsewhere. Likely gotten married to some witch he met along the way. They would have travelled and raised their kids away from the small village he grew up in.

Rebekah would have had the life she wanted. Gotten married and had kids as well. She would have stayed close to Klaus and Elijah. She would have been a dotting aunt to their children and meddled in their lives.

Mikael would have eventually died, whether naturally or not, and I think they would have been able to slowly repair their relationships with their mother. Especially if Klaus would have been able to have a relationship with Ansel as he got old enough to understand the dangers of Mikael finding out.

Henrik would be alive. We don't know a lot about him but I always felt like he was a lot like Kol. The youngest, wild brothers, always getting into trouble and Elijah having to clean it up.

Someone likely would have had a kid and brought Dahlia to them which would be interesting. Freya would defend her siblings but wouldn't have much help outside of Kol or Esther. It would be interesting to see Esther actually use offensive magic. Although from how Dahlia was hyped up in TO, I don't think they would be super successful. It would have been beautiful for Esther and Dahlia to repair their relationship as well. Both of them realizing the pain and hardship the other has been through. I would have loved Esther and Dahlia to team up against Mikael and then have the safe and happy family they always desired.

Thanks for the ask! Sorry, it took so long to respond!

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jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear · 6 months

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Headcanon List || Professor and Student || Ko-fi Commission for Tanya

Jonathan had been teaching for several years at this point, and had gone through a lot of students, some good--and some bad. Very few stood out, and one of those was an exchange student from India.

This student came into his class about three years into his career. She was attentive, always asked questions, paid attention, etc. All and all she was a model student on the outside.

On the inside though, she was struggling. Mentally ill, and being bullied outside of class. (No one bullied in his class, they were too afraid after hearing CERTAIN RUMORS)

Crane, cared about his career at this point in life, and he took it upon himself to care for his students if they needed help or were struggling. Office hours were plenty and he took time out of his day to talk to students.

At first, he didn't notice anything wrong. It IS hard to pay attention to one student out of the fifty he had in class. But the As turned into Bs and the test answers were getting sloppy.

Something was up. One day in class this student came in with puffed up eyes and a cheek that had previously been stained with tears.

He knew what he had to do, and with haste and swiftness not to bring unwanted attention to one of his best students, he issued a pop quiz and quietly ushered her into his office.

Crane gave her his utmost attention as he gently prodded for answers. Turned out this girl had come out to her family, and was instantly shunned.

Jonathan, knowing the nuance of these things decided instantly to tell her he has gay. He told her that she should be proud to be her fullest self, and that no one, not even parents have a say in what makes her feel happy.

He continued to tell her that he's faced similar homophobia from fellow professors who mocked him for looking like a Scarecrow. Sometimes it really gets to him, makes him WANT to be that they fear.

But that's not important now he spoke, whats important is that his office was a safe place for her. If she should ever feel hurt,she could come in and vent. Also we gotta keep those grades up and the best thing for good grades is a good mental state.

And that's exactly what she did., For the bullying was more than just family, it was students. And they SHOULD know better, being practically adults.

Sadly, some of us never grow up, or grow into hateful monsters.

Eventually the bullying from her fellow students became too much. One day she rushed into his office an hour before class and cried her heart out. Se was mocked, she was hurt.

Jonathan could not stand this. Not HIS STUDENT.

This may have been what broke the camels back as they say. Sometime had to give, and he knew he had to get revenge.

CLICK READ MORE FOR THE REST

That night, Professor Crane went home to sew up sometime scary. taking notes from those who mocked him, he decried to become a Scarecrow.

he would put together a truly terrifying facade, a mask with stitched mouth detailed and a gauntlet that instilled fear.

Yes, a gauntlet. With his knowledge in chemistry he created the first and most rudimentary vermilion of what one day would be called Fear Toxin.

The students who had bullied his prized student resided in the men's dormitory, level three room 257 -- tonight they would know true terror.

With the full moon held up high in the sky, Jonathan slunk out of his office and towards the dorms, a fake key card let him inside and he slithered up the stairs and stood outside of their room.

Using pick pocketing skills he learned as a child, this man turned Scarecrow opened the door and swiftly injected the two boys with a dose of fright.

Instantly they woke up and felt the effects, first some shouting of confusion and quick convulsions. They had no idea what hit him!

Scarecrow laughed "This is what bullies deserve!" he proclaimed and quickly pulled out a throw away film camera and flashed a few pictures of the boys crying and pissing their sheets.

Then, leaving as quickly as he arrived, Scarecrow headed back to his office with the most contented grin and a perchance for fear he had only just discovered.

The next day, the girl came into class and while the lecture went well, she was still feeling low so she took some time after it all to spend in Crane's office. That's when the learned the truth.

At first she didn't know how to react, but surly enough a big smile came across her face. Someone defensed her, someone she respected! Perhaps now the bullying would end!

And end it did. No one messed with her, not aft3er the Scarecrow wreaked havoc. People, students and teachers were too scared.

Jonathan himself, took this situation as a calling. Maybe his true love was fear. Maybe he needed to exact revenge on ALL the bullies.

The students went on to achieve great things, not everyone accepted her, but most did. And better than anything, there was to bullying anymore.

As for Jonathan? Well, he next job would be in Arkham Asylum.

#Jonathan Crane #Scarecrow #The Scarecrow #Commission #My Headcanons #hope you enjoy #<333 #I had fun with this #Mistress Writes

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