#the point is that ppl act like romantic love is the best fucking thing in the world

[aroacechillzone]

god when will allos stop responding with "not all love is romantic!1!1!!" any time us aros talk about anything. we KNOW

#aro #aromantic #genuinely its so exhausting #thats not the POINT dumbass #the point is that ppl act like romantic love is the best fucking thing in the world #and something is wrong with u if u dont experience it #(same goes for love in general tbh)

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

This is just me rambling and stuff, and this is the only way i could get out my monty brainrot and a little bit of yves brainworm out of my head, but just ignore it if it's cringe or too insane

I think with the way Yves would take care of me thoroughly and know me so well would unsettle me at times, but ultimately it would probably cement his place as a comforting and caring platonic partner in my head 😭😭 cause i know i would be thinking like "oh! He's so inspiring! I think he's the perfect role model for how i should take care of myself and love the people close to me ^^" <- absolutely missing the point and every romantic gesture i would misunderstand (what lacking romantic experience does to a mf) as something he does with other ppl, even though i would imagine that he's barely seen with anyone else than his darling :'); or maybe he would account for the fact that i misunderstand things? But i have a feeling that he would catch on to the fact that I'm a bit of a blockhead

Imo i think that i would choose Monty over Yves, despite everything that he did for me; maybe because he's done so much for me, i would probably feel immeasurably guilty even if he does say he likes doing it and personally, the power imbalance in both his material and physical qualities as well as the lack of vulnerability would intimidate me 🫠🫠 errr in a way, Monty I love so much because of how loving, protective and accepting he is, he's got characteristics that are close to my type!! (might also be the fact that to some extent, he can be controlled :3); he's endearingly trying his best and flopping a lot, but at least he listens to valid criticism 🥰🥰 he's... Cute... And maybe because of the food too, since receiving and giving food is a big sign of love for me <3 His messiness is a bit of a charm to me, because personally it takes a lot of guts and vulnerability to show someone how messy you are physically and mentally, or well, maybe its pity over the depression mess 😔 One thing i want to know is if he'll ever get immune to his darling's romantic and sexual advances and throw it right back similarly? Or is still gonna be giggling and kicking his feet on the bed over it? And i wonder how his reaction would be towards a darling that starts off meek and quiet, but gets more dominant and pursues him as well? Man, i want this guy pegged <3 And to get him pregnant <3 I want to give him backshots that make him better or worse :3

Anyway, this is also a way of grieving over not choosing Monty over Cyprus 😔 because i read Cyprus first before Monty and i regret picking him for the poll 🤧 but, I'm looking forward to any potential Monty content and how this silly guy locks in or flop <3

Boy oh boy do I have the ask for you

Thanks for the ramble anon it was a good read 👍

Well Yves does act accordingly to your personality. If you are pretty clueless BUT would accept him as your ONLY romantic partner for life, he would be extremely straightforward, cutting to the chase and be clear in what he wants the relationship to be (it was exhibited in Best and Worst of Both worlds)

But if he predicts that you will reject him or eventually cheat on him later in the relationship despite all the measures to stop you from doing so, he will remain platonic. And his prediction model is horrifyingly accurate. Mans will even reject YOU if he knows you can't keep it in your pants 💔

Oh yeah if it's vulnerability you're looking for Yves is ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT the man you're looking for homie 😭 he is THE fort knox of mental illness, you can (almost) never catch him lacking and is always locking in while Monty is human

Literally Yves isn't actually human anymore

Here are other pieces of writing that has monty in it, idk if you seen them yet but it was all clumped together with Yves's MASSIVE sections

What makes Monty wanna fuck you (the lower half of this post is just Yves waffles)

Montgomery as a dad (scroll to like half of it to skip Yves's part)

Yves isn't necessarily okay with being only a platonic yandere

#yandere #yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere male #oc yves #yandere concept #tw yandere #yandere oc x reader #yandere x you #male yandere oc x reader #oc Montgomery

[still-a-morosexual-help]

i’ve been down the mammon rabbit hole for so long i’ve forgotten how ppl write him in non-mammon fics. i’ve recently had some lucifer brain rot and i absolutely hate the way some of the fics write mammon. i think everybody who wants to a fic w any kind of mammon appearance should take a sam-approved course so they don’t absolutely murder his character.

Plsssss😭 I had to go to a government office recently and now all I can think about is me sitting in a little cubicle stamping approval on any fics with Mammon, using a shitty little stamp with barely any ink

Okay but Mammon would actually be so supportive of MC x Lucifer when it comes down to it? The same way Lucifer's supportive of Mammon x MC when it comes down to it

Like he would be very upset and he'd initially do that whole possessive thing he does but if Lucifer is what MC actually chooses he'd back off - like he does in canon! Like he did when he saw Lucifer & MC kissing in S2, like when he fought to get back Lucifer's pendant in Lucifer's b'day event, like when he acted as MC's wingman in Lucifer's Devilcoast Devilgram.

Plus Mammon's objectively the brother who puts the most importance/emphasis on MC's consent.

PLUS PLUS Mammon genuinely loves Lucifer so much? In canon he's all the way up there with Beel as the brother who speaks the most about how great Lucifer is

AND now you've got me thinking about the premium angst potential of Lucifer x MC from Mammon's perspective because those are his two favourite people from all the worlds and they're in love with each other and he's stupidly in love with one of them but he can't do anything other than sit back and be their (overprotective) best friend

AND now you've got me thinking about how fucking hilarious this would be because MC's also Mammon's best friend and Lucifer's also Mammon's dad. MC's also really blunt and kind of a dick at times and would absolutely call Mammon Son to piss him off

This is very slightly off topic but;

I've also got a couple ships from other fandoms where characters A & B are (though not romantically involved) canonically very close - in a "you can't really write fics about one, for a long time, in their present canon timeline without bringing the other up" which I think is what happened with MC & Mammon? It's technically happened to a lesser extent with MC & the rest of the brothers as well but Mammon & MC canonically share a room more nights than not & have been doing so for years by the time we reach S4 and they started a business together in one of the devilgrams that fall under the canon main story timeline. What I'm saying is that even if their relationship isn't romantic they're definitely at a point where their lives are so entwined that it'd be hard to write about a long portion of one of their lives without including the other

If I sound less coherent than usual it's because i took two different antihistamines together and i think im dying

#asks #obey me shall we date #obey me! #shall we date? obey me! #swd obey me #obey me mammon #om! mammon #swd mammon #shall we date mammon #om mammon #obey me #obey me! mammon #obey me lucifer #om lucifer #obey me! lucifer #om! lucifer #swd lucifer #shall we date lucifer #obey me mc #om mc #obey me! mc #om! mc #mammon x mc #lucifer x mc #mc x mammon #mc x lucifer #mammon x oc #lucifer x oc #oc x lucifer #oc x mammon

[maegalkarven]

Out of curiosity what happens to all of your dark urges post-game?

This is going to be LONG, so i'm putting it under the "read more".

Thanks so much for asking and giving me an opportunity to rant about my boys! (they're all masc, yeah. All kind of trans. I am not projecting anything. Also I lied just now)

As of now I have 3 (4 counting Morgan) developed till post-game Durges.

Morgan is my first playthrough and maybe shouldn't be counted, but he and Astarion leave for Underdark. Morgan is a drow bard btw and his story is the messiest bullshit ever bc at that point I was still figuring BG3 out.

Now to the fun part! (June, Levi and Nemo). Mind what all 3 of them are romantically involved with Gortash and it plays its part.

So let's start with my favorite druid asshole Levi. He visually appears to be a tiefling. 6 ft tall handsome young man with one blazing green eye, one eye pitch-black (later an implant of the eye of the devil he took for himself), wavy ginger hair, freckles EVERYWHERE and a very arrogant attitude. His horns have been broken by Sarevok when he was around adolescence.

Levi has 2 versions of how his live goes after the end credits. Basically his good (canon) ending and his bad ending.

Bad ending is where Gortash dies, Levi goes the whole "I am god" way, takes the Crown of Karsus for himself and erases Bhaal from the existence of the universe, successfully taking his domain, his aspect and his place. It's a lonely life of godhood for him and the one where he loses himself.

His good ending branches depending if Noah (his son) exists.

If Noah indeed exists, Levi has a whole ass husband and a son waiting for him at home (in Baldur's Gate) and a whole new playground of the city. He transforms part of the city into the garden and creates the new circle of druids with Kagha as the achdruid. But inevitably fuck off to hells to fight not his battle bc he can and he loves fighting.

Levi is set on a long ass quest conquering Hells bc: 1) it's fun. 2) His homie needs Mizora dead. 3) His other homie needs Zariel dead.

If Noah wasn't born, his path goes almost the same way (considering Hells), but it's the main focus of his, and the main goal. In that version he wants all of Mephisto's wonders for himself and operates from the House of Hope what he and Gortash live in (while planning evil things for evil reasons, yeah. "If heavens are out of reach, we will make Hells ours" kind of an attitude.)

Basically for Levi it's either godhood but the path of loneliness or a lot of shenanigans in hells with his two best friends (Wyll and Karlach) and the wicked partnership with Gortash. Watch him successfully balance out THAT dynamic mix.

Then there's Nemo. Nemo is non-amnesiac Durge who got very weak after his sister's attack. Looks like a half-drow (ppl keep calling him half-breed and he hates it. He is a pureblood bhaalspawn, damn it!) Looks like a golden child with sun-warmed skin, golden eyes and hair and A LONG ASS SCAR ORIN LEFT OVER HIS PERFECT FACE. THANKS FOR NOTHING, SISTER. Short (5 ft). The only 'off' thing about him is what his sclera is black.

He is also the mastermind behind the successful creation and management of the current cult of Bhaal in BG as it is. Nemo's misadventures are featured in the series of oneshots called "Empty Prayers".

He has only a good ending because I said so, and this is where he kills Orin and himself in a double suicide act, robbing Bhaal of the chosen and a child. Bhaal throws a fit, Withers plays a savior.

EVERYONE is angry at Nemo, Orin is left with no memory of who she is or what the fuck is going on.

No one is happy 2.0.

His post-game ending is where he is a shadow over the BG, a leader of the newly established assassins' guild into which he drags his lover and partner in crime Astarion.

Nemo is a man who transfers the cult of Bhaal into something else and earns money for it. It is easy, because most of the cultists only knew him as a leader and several of them were raised by him.

He basically lowers his expectations and chills, having joint-custody over the city underground with Ninefingers.

Gortash manages to stay arcduke in that one, but ba-a-a-arely. No one is happy, even Gortash, because it's such a mediocre win it's embarrassing. He will manage to pull Nemo into some heist-like bullshit very soon, that with him and his very useful guild of trained cutthroats who are loyal to Nemo and Nemo alone.

The last one - June. My least fav child bc I am v conflicted with how he just branched into 2 separate entities. @ June come on. He has either grey hair and silver eyes (selunite!June) or black-blue hair and light-blue eyes (cambion!June). Either way his skin is greyish-blue with freckles, his horns are grey as some ash can be. He is 5 ft 5.

June is either tiefling priest of Selune or cambion grandchild of Mephisto. I consider both of the versions like alt. of the same person.

In his good (canon) ending June leaves for Underdark with Gortash and Astarion to conquer it and seek all the netherise artifacts left there.

Ex priest of Selûne June does it in some quest of "salvation", cambion June does it because he's the forbidden knowledge seeking bastard (Mephisto raised him, ok). Both versions of June defy Bhaal, though for different reasons.

Now, there is a bad ending for June too, which is highly tied to how he treats the situation with Gortash and how much has the tadparty affected him. If he has failed to develop enough ties with the team, June agrees with everything the man says - Gortash dies at the Netherbrain Blast - June becomes the new Chosen of Bane.

Which strangely fits both versions of June, because selunite!June DID pray to Bane, he just never answered.

And cambion!June is a little too alike Bane's own son (a hybrid of a god and fiend who Bhaal probably was going to use the same way Bane used his son) and in a dire need of a plan to out-do Mephisto.

If June does have close ties with his team and they affect his decision-making, then he's a little more smart about it, tadpoles Gortash, and that derails everything to Gortash joining the team and all hells breaking loose (to the good end. I promise)

There's also Callisto, but Callisto didn't live further than the escape from the nautiloid. I will play them after I break my pc's mind and re-merge it gently, after which BG3 (hopefully) will run on my pc without any third parties involved. But Callisto is a half-drow priest of Tiamat. My baby said FUCK toxic father, I want to be adopted by a toxic mother instead. Their main long goal is freeing Tiamat from her prison in Hell.

#dark urge: levi #dark urge: nemo #dark urge: june #dark urge: morgan #dark urge: callisto #srsly thank you SO MUCH for asking. You have no idea how much fun i had writing all of this #if you see them all defying bhaal you're not imagining it #they all defy bhaal for different reasons bc i said so #maybe callisto won't...but that would make their evil mum angry...so they probably will #callisto will unleash tiamat on the world and will be PROUD of that #bane is going to get an evil wife and that's a THREAT

[tousakamis]

i think one of my main issues w #that st ship (in a romantic context anyway) is just how much it reminds me of my own experiences with romance.

im an aroace person and i, too, dated people who i was close with, who Everyone said "oh, you must like them romantically bc you're close, right?". a lot of people bring up heteronormative pressure but i don't think enough people consider the amatonormative pressure as well.

like... the way i personally see mike, i think he mixed up platonic attraction with romantic attraction, because Everybody was telling him it had to be that way. so at first he maybe really did think he liked her romantically - then, as things shifted and he began to face more internal issues, it became more of a desperation to force himself. like "oh, we're in a romantic relationship. she likes me romantically. i HAVE to like her romantically too." and when you consider his undeniable queer coding.... romantic and hetero norms are so deeply intertwined, you're expected to like people romantically. it's the way a boy and a girl will be friends and the instant assumption is romantic chemistry - it's that undeniable overlap that makes a lot of queer youth feel almost obligated to date (esp someone of the opposite gender), often before they discover themselves.

like! i really think they would be so much better as best friends. you can Love somebody, you can wholeheartedly adore them... that doesn't mean romantic love. i don't deny that they really love each other - but sometimes, when you love somebody, you almost feel forced to be in love with them, especially if they're of the opposite gender. it gets to the point that expressing that love, because of the romantic nature, can feel really unnerving; mike is fine being affectionate with her when it's not romantic, such as sharing the bike, but when they're doing it in a romantic context, he looks... baffled, almost disgusted. like i get you, boy!! no matter how much you love/care about someone, knowing the affection comes from a romantic nature when you Don't feel that way is so uncomfortable (especially as he may be not attracted to girls at all - double whammy of societal norms!).

i hate how some people act like these character's only have worth if they're romantically bound to another.

like, yes, i do have my own ships w these characters. ultimately my main want for these two is for people to recognise they exist beyond their current romantic relationship.

for mike? he becomes more of his own person in wills company, their platonic bond is so unbelievably strong and it's one of my absolute favourite dynamics ive ever seen. in fact, it made me really sad watching mike sideline his bond with will, though i know that's somewhat due to his internalised homophobia. but mike and will bring out the best in each other - they're best friends who just so happen to be in love with each other. they're already each others happy endings, regardless of whether it's platonic or romantic. in fact im Rooting for their romantic happy ending bc to me, that would be the biggest "fuck you" to amatonormativity and heteronormativity in one fell swoop!

as for el? she's already moving towards individuality, she's already trying to define her worth beyond her romantic affairs. this is why her bond with max is so so beautiful - max actively tells her "there's more to life than stupid boys" in S3, reminding her that she's more than a romantic relationship, and max encourages her to find herself. id say max is one of the best things to happen to el and they truly love eachother, which is further proven by her desperation to save max in S4. imo, el has begun to prioritize platonic and familial relationships As well as herself. idk why ppl think her romantic relationship falling apart is gonna ruin and destroy her. she's more than mikes gf 💔

but yeah. TL;DR #that ship in a romantic context feels Very amatonormative to me and some fan responses further this. i love the dynamic in a platonic sense more than ANYTHING (like. genuinely please feel free to talk to me about it) so please don't think i don't recognize their love for each other. but, as per the dictionary definition - loving somebody ≠ romantic love!!

(i do apologize if none of this makes sense btw 😭 but i hope at least some people get what i mean, please feel free to add things or correct me on some things)

#alina post #byler #elmax #(in a romantic context anyway) #idk if any of this makes sense LOL #forgive me if this is just word vomit that only makes sense to me #long post

[prettyboykatsuki]

It's not about acting, I simply long for a deep platonic relationship 😭😭😭

I long to be that bad bitch that ignores the whole society shiz and just keeps hanging out with my bestie without caring about the pressure or expectations to make it something more because it is just as meaningful if not more in some instances 😭😭

I want to be that crazy bitch with my crazy bitch turning others worlds on fire cause they can't comprehend that a relationship without more can be just as impactful

Also my grandma and her best friend are not gay but you would think they would be, a good example. 😂

Unless all I'm doing is completely misinterpreting you but in the end I love you dawg and you're fucking funny dude 😎

i think you are misreading what im saying /nm /gen

my point is that doing things like that or having like platonic intimacy is not nearly as societally acceptable as people will often pretend it is 😭😭 like in so much media (genshin fandom im looking at you) people can’t view deep platonic relationships as anything other than familial which is usually not the correct reading of those relationships lmao

everytime you bring up like qpr relationships or people display intimacy people can only interpret it in like one of two ways because simply having someone as a life partner who isnt a sister OR a romantic interest is very unfathomable. people pretend a lot that those relationships are just ‘friendships’ but society has a very specific view of friendship that doesn’t accurately represent those relationships

like you wanting that for yourself is real. that type of intimacy is real, but its not as acceptable in society as people seem to act like it is which is my point. i wish ppl would stop acting like that level of platonic intimacy is considered very normal when it is not lol

#return to sender #i love u too!

[shenzuns]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST.

name.  kiwi  !

pronouns.  they  /  them  (  +  she  /  he  )

preference  of  communication.  uhhh probably... IMs or discord  ???  i give out my discord as much as i can, but i’m very bad at talking to people BHDFDJF

name  of  muse.  shen qingqiu, or shen yuan depending on who you get acquainted with...  first  ?  it’s very verse dependent, if you meet him when he’s transmigrated then it’s shen qingqiu bc by that point he’s given up his old identity as  “  shen yuan  “

rp  experience  /  how  long.  good god i’ve probably been here since i was like... 13? so...  8 years disgostang

best  experience.  shitposting  !  that’s literally all i do on a daily basis anyways, but my best rp experiences were when the community would kind of get together and do silly shit on the dash. i don’t see much of that anymore at all now lol, unfortunate  !  oh, and, in character games were THE shit like...  i still try to get those going when i can bc there’s nothing more fun than muses meeting each other for the first time to yell at each other about being the imposter or something.  also, when you kind of have a group of people who are in a specific verse, and matching urls, and just idk very community based things were always my type of beat  !

rp  pet  peeves  /  dealbreakers.  i...  don’t really have many actually  ?  it’s quite litchrally the basic principal that people have been touting for years, read rules  (  please god, i know he acts like a straight guy but my man is gay as all hell Do Not approach him romantically if ur muse is fem aligned  ), don’t try to play god without My permission, don’t forceship unless i say it’s cool cus i love forceshipping with my breasties, don’t... tell me what my muse is... or how he could be  /  act like... man.  uhhh, probably also like, feeling as though i have to diminish how powerful or mean a muse is otherwise me and someone’s mun will get off on the wrong foot like...  i’m sorry i don’t control my muse’s power level it’s on UR muse to not instigate a fight if u Know my muse is strong man.  uhhh...  when people complain about posting too much ooc like ok just say u don’t want to have fun or get to know the ppl behind the screen.  also, it kind of squicks me when ppl are like ‘oh ur character isn’t super canon’ like i already have phobias, don’t add to that man  ---  also canon divergencies exist.  and then other stuff is just stupid shit like, if we’re shipping and there’s no reciprocating amount of effort put in it just tanks me, and like.  fighting over ships too lawl like, i get if toxic ships aren’t ppls cups of tea but that doesn’t mean u have to kill someone over it  (  this does NOT include actually problematic ships, yall are adult enough to get what i mean here  )

fluff,  angst,  or  smut.  all i guess  ???  my fatal flaw is liking angst and smut but being too much of a baby to write it out and  /  or talk about it.  like, i’m very bad at writing angst but it’s all i give my muses so I Want To Learn.  and, re: smut i’m... weirdly shy  ?  which is funny bc it’s horny thoughts 24/7 here but i just get anxious and lock up even though i want to write smut. it’s fucked up and evil and i’m the bearer of the curse SFNFKMSF

plots  or  memes.  boooth...  i say tentatively, LIKE i’m kind of bad at plotting is the thing.  i prefer discussing character dynamics and then discussing how things can go from that.  also, s.qq is kind of difficult to plot with i’ve come to slowly realize  ???  but i also Have to plot with him to get anywhere, so u see it’s a pain.  BUT I LOVE MEMES i thrive on memes, it’s the best way i interact  !  i do try my best to send in stuff and i adore getting things in return  (  i’m just slow as fuck but i always smile when i get asks  )

long  or  short  replies.  UHHHH...  it really depends but i’ll be real, i talk too fucking much when i write SHDSFMKFDKM a bitch doesn’t know how to shut up and s.qq is an overthinker so he’s very introspective  (  TOO introspective u might say  ), so while i love the idea of short replies...  it never really works out that way for me </3

best  time  to  write.  man.  who even knows w/ me at this point LMAOO probably night though that’s when everything’s quiet for me and i can vibe, or like.  the early hours of daybreak.  but idk when my motivation, creativity and social battery are up there is usually when i start writing again

are  you  like  your  muse.  KIIIND OF  ???  my friend’s and i like to joke around that i’m kind of a shen yuan at times, i actually really latched onto his character BECAUSE of his neurosis but.  i dunno, i’m not as logic driven as he is, nor am i as stilted emotionally  /  with my affections.  so, yes and no  !  he can be difficult to write sometimes because of how different he is from me, i think.  i’ve never written a muse like him before, so it’s definitely a challenge, but a fun one  !  i also think it’s pretty natural to take on muses similar to you or put parts of yourself in a muse, bc how else are you supposed to understand them on a deeper level yk  ?  it helps with getting into a muses mental imo.

tagged.  @oftwilight​  thank u sybil, ily  !  <3

tagging.  @junshang​,  @feiyuie​,  @mellodiies​,  @kuurtaa​,  @chiheru​,  @hymnblood​,  @fuxian​,  @suender​  &  if ur reading this that’s it. ur tagged, @ me i want to see  !

#𝟶𝟶𝟶. 𝙳𝚄𝙼𝙱𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺 𝙰𝚄𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚁 ，𝙳𝚄𝙼𝙱𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺 𝙽𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙻. — ( out. ) #meow meow meow meow

[snonkerdoodledreams]

although tbh I feel like a freak bc I don't have a romantic partner. Like. Everybody around me has rizz and social confidence to find someone they're close to and love...and I fuckin don't. I could blame it all on having a dysfunctional family and trauma and all that but the truth is that I have nobody but myself to blame. I feel like if I didn't see what other ppl have I'd feel better...so I wasn't reminded of what I. Don't. Have.

like...HOW? how the HELL did you find someone so fucking...genuine?!?! Loves you? Cares for you? All I want is to know that someone knows me inside and out but do you know how fucking scary that is?!

I feel like a freak. I want to die. I am such an abnormal piece of shit that I can't even find someone who loves me. I don't think I experience a lot of sexual attraction towards anybody but my celeb crushes. Maybe a girlfriend if I had one. Theoretically, I would want sex. But practically?

I don't know. The thought of a random person touching me makes my stomach turn. The thought of, realistically, even a favorite rockstar having sex with me makes my stomach turn (a little less, but I still feel scared)...don't take me srsly on this, guys. After all. What the fuck am I talking about? I'm a virgin...haha...

But back to the point...how do I find someone that I can love? Nobody. Fucking. Knows. Me. The only friends I have are from school but they all have different sets of friends...my mother would never let me have a bf and gf would prolly get me shunned by her (would she go so far to kick me out? Idk)

I don't have ppls number other than friends and if I do, they see me as a fuckin nerd who acts weird sometimes (comes out of shell. I'm a fuckin weird person.) Too scared to talk to anyone...see.

Other people have like. Social circles that they can talk to. They're the kind of people who, well, talk to others outside of a school setting. They talk on weekends maybe. Text a little. Relationship blossoms. They just. Hang out with other ppl outside of a professional environment.

And I don't. God forbid, heaven fucking forbid I ever do that...I just...don't?? I don't get ppl. I don't mesh with society. I don't know the latest gen z slang or TikTok trend or whatever. Don't know what they're talking about bc I don't pay attention to the stuff they're obsessed with. I don't get when ppl are being sarcastic sometimes...my jokes go over sideways most of the time. Even when I'm talking with my best friend we just talk about memes funny stuff or just rant. Not rlly that deep...I feel like I have different personalities depending on who I'm interacting with (DIFFERENT SIDES OF MYSELF. I ACT DIFFERENT I THINK DIFFERENT BUT IM STILL MYSELF ITS NOT DID I SWEAR). So it's impossible for anyone to get to know me. I'm the idiot who doesn't know what she's doing...one of my friends knows she can tell me anything and she has struggled with being left out a lot...and she told me about how she recently got included at something and it made her feel so great.

Am i overanalyzing things? Or have I really been floating on my own cloud for so long that I think being this way is normal? I don't think it is normal to feel the way I do...BUT I CANT FUCKING EXPLAIN WHAT I FEEL, I DONT HAVE THE FUCKING WORDS!!! And my fucking therapist will probably say that it's...all in my head? Nothing I need to worry about? Maybe ur just overcomplicating things, it's normal, blah blah blah. Cuz that's what my dad would say if I told him. I DONT HAVE THE WORDS BUT I KNOW I FEEL THIS WAY. JUST. DIFFERENT. NOT FITTING IN. NOT MESHING. NOT LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE WITH FUKING NORMAL LIVES

I feel so different and I don't know who I am. Other ppl my literal fucking age have this shit figured out (I think) and start knowing other ppl. Loving them. Knowing the other person very well. Well enough to love them. Well enough to even have sex. Why can't I do that?

Oh. I know. I'm different. A freak. A leech who wants to mooch off love and never give it back. I feel like I take too much and never give back and my therapist says that "you're perfect the way you are" and I'm like "no bitch. NO IM NOT. IM A FUCKING FREAK THATS DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF FUCKING SOCIETY." (I feel like a mental case sometimes...bc I am dysfunctional human in fact that I don't do anything normally and have fucking madd, my paraself is better than me...)

Whenever I talk about having trauma and everything, I feel like a faker. Like I'm over exaggerating for clout and bc I did that, everyone believes me and when I say it feels like clout chasing, they say it's not. Everyone means my therapist and y'all. Clout means sympathy etc. I feel like a paraself who was more abused than I was is the one talking. I feel like a paraself, not my true self, whenever I talk about shit like this and tell myself "maybe you DO have that." I just. Feel fake.

tl;Dr: rant about not having romantic partner, wondering how everyone else does it, ranting that idk how to interact with ppl and I can't do it, that I'm different, feeling fake.

#tw #dysfunctional family #mental health #maladaptive daydreaming #romance #no partner #sexuality #idk #im lost #im different #feel like a leech #freak #self negativity

[noblechaton]

big rambly gwitch finale post before bed

holy fucking shit dude what a finale like damn okay

I love love love the way the show gradually ramped up from the almost whimsical vibes of the first episode to the shock and horror of the finale - how it called back to and felt more in line with the prologue than anything else in the series to that point. adore how they handled the gradual build up. the animation’s so much fun to watch and the soundtrack really hits when it wants - that hug in ep 11 with that backdrop could have made me legit cry if it lasted a lil longer lol

and Suletta UGH my girl Suletta....did not expect for things to get as real as they did in regards to her and how close I felt to what she went thru lmao like her wandering around mishearing ppl and believing herself useless to the same ppl she thought were her friends bc she was in a big time slump like....ouch ok dont come for me like this but also just. everything else about her too. her wide eyed optimism and devotion to the friends she makes. I love my tanuki girl so much I only want the best for her and miomio

speaking of here is where I’m gonna spout a stream of thought about what the fuck is going on with All That in that I have no fucking clue as to what exactly the deal is - Suletta’s been at times very childlike to this point and so Prospera giving her the mere suggestion, a nudge of sorts while she was in shock, like I could totally buy it if its just a bit of gaslighting but also what is up with her eyes?? they really focused on that shine when Prospera was talking to her so like....is her mind being controlled? we still know so little about Prospera in the present and even less about the true nature of Suletta. is she really Eri from the prologue? or is she a clone of Eri that’s basically able to be controlled by her mother? or an Eri made obedient thru mind control of some sort?? or is everything post-credits and how she acted after what she did just her sorta mentally reverting to a happier state of mind due to trauma?? some sort of conditioning reapplied each time she sees her mom or a mental shutdown?? how deep does it go if it goes anywhere at all??? 

like she went from a panic attack to a Suletta Splat in no time flat so something has to be going on there right but the what of it all eludes me still. hope whatever it is that my girl will be okay  

really hope we get a solid episode or two devoted to like. Unpacking Everything There since I can’t see Miorine not being scarred bc I mean damn that visual near the end with the bloody hand and the darker lighting mirroring the end of the first ep’s brighter lighting - her hero come to save her, yet now twisted and darker. but also can’t see her being like. mad at or broken up about Suletta’s actions for too long especially if she comes to realize that one way or another the swat was not Suletta in her right mind. it was the Suletta she knows yes but not Suletta I feel if that makes sense. I get the feeling that Suletta doesn’t even really know what she did here - in her mind she was living by the gain two code and doing as she’d said in staying by Mio’s side and saving her again but in a far less innocuous, romantic way well maybe there’s still some romance in there if ya like that sorta thing thats gonna put a massively interesting twist on their relationship going forward I feel

but speaking of the pairing I love that they seem to really be leaning towards Sulemio as the proper canon pairing and hope they do commit to it and that we get a proper love confession at least - both bc I adore the pairing itself and bc I don’t like Suletta with any of the guys lol - while I’m super excited to see where Guel goes from here after his oopsie fucky wucky with y’know the whole blade thru his own dad thing lmao. kinda feel like I’d be cool not seeing the Earthian terrorist group again if only bc I found them a sudden thing and did not care for Sophie in particular at least atm since I’m sorta over her character type but I’m sure they’ll be cool later I’m just sorta over the quirky killer girl lol

anyway this was fun to ramble about expect me to do so again as the show lingers in my brain and if I’m not annoying in the meantime then I’ll be super annoying when it comes back in April and/or whenever my Suletta/Aerial/Miorine kits finally get in. whichever happens first really

but gotdamn she fucking squished a guy dude

#spoilers for gwitch in this btw #the noble from mercury

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Am I the only one who doesn’t get why some (tw) are shitting on Haru and Rin separately just for the fact that they reciprocate each others feelings? Because it’s not the feelings they wanted them to reciprocate? Just curious because I'm new and recently entered the fandom. And since when miscommunication in between means that they don't deserve to be happy at the end? Because you're an idiot when it comes to love, doesn't mean you're a bad person. I came from chinese bl and it's weird to me.

Hehe welcome to the madness, perfect time to join! Yeah, tbh that's the thing in the fandom that always bugged me the most. The fact that some act like if you don't reciprocate someone's feelings, it makes you a bad person. I always found it incredibly cringy when ppl in real life for example make ppl feel guilty for not feeling the same way and make you feel like shit bc of it. I don't get why you have to apologize for that or feel bad, if you never ever gave him any hope or anything in the first place.

Nowdays it's thankfully a rare sight already in this fandom, bc most already grown and see perfectly what's truly healthy and unhealthy, it's just tbh only the same 3 accounts ppl keep sending me that are still on that, who also think that Haru is literally possessed in the last movie so I don't see the point of like arguing with ppl like this. It's just they're always getting extremely angry when Haru wants Rin as if it's his fault that he feels this way and always go about it like he is inconsiderate of Makoto's feelings. Implying that they're mad that he doesn't feel that way about Makoto, while Makoto does. I'm same as @tododeku-or-bust for example said here (idk what fandom brought this on, but just in general) also do not get what's appealing about this kind of relationships in the first place.

If they shipped it in terms of like it's mutual I'd get it, but they go on about how Rin or Haru are bad friends bc they're not in love with their best friends... like ?????? I didn't know you owe it to your friends to have romantic feelings for them.

In real life if you found out that your bestie feels that way for you while you don't reciprocate, it's a burden, that'll make you feel uncomfortable and at times guilty when you shouldn't technically feel that way. So putting on someone a burden of "I was pining for you all along", when you know they don't feel the same is giving me this feeling of cringe. So I personally do not get what's enjoyable at seeing it like that in Free. But to each their own kink lmao.

It's like... is Haru at fault for the fact that he was Ikuya's first love too? I do not get it really. Like he doesn't have to take responsibility for everyone who falls for him and he doesn't owe anyone to reciprocate their feelings. Even to Rin. Like if he didn't feel the same way for Rin, it wouldn't be his fault either. But since he does feel the same way for him, it's like... good, great, happy for them.

Like once again if someone believes that Makoto and Sousuke are unrequitedly in love with Rin and Haru, that's not rinharu fault. Haru literally never ever lead Makoto on EVER. He never ever did anything that would make Makoto believe that they're more than friends. He was always honest about everything. Like when Makoto thought that he went out to see him, but Haru just wanted to see the sunrise, he told him just that. He never encoraged anything, he refused to live with him and never wanted. I do not get why it's supposed to be his fault that he doesn't like his friend in that way. If Makoto has some unrequited feelings for him and decided to hang up on this, it's his own life choice in my opinion.

It's like saying that Onodera and Takano for example don't deserve to be together just because they unintentionally hurt each other and got separated for 10 years bc of misunderstanding. This argument is like typical Yokozawa life position aka "but I was there when he left you heartbroken for several years, that means you MUST pick me". As I've said before, that's just not how it fucking works. And just bc they couldn't explain things to each other normally, doesn't mean that they don't deserve be happy now. Being idiots is not a crime.

Or if you came from chinese bl, lets go "Guardian" for example. Zhu Hong also was on about how "why you love Shen Wei, not me, I always did everything for you and I was always there, I even wore heels bc you once said you liked those etc". Like he never asked her to do this, he never gave her any hope, he was beyond rude and open about the fact that he's not interested, he never did anything to make her think she had a chance since the beginning. Just bc she decided to dedicate her life to false hope that maybe one day something might change is not his fault. It was her choice. Why Yunlan should feel like shit bc of that I do not get personally.

I'm just buffled bc like Haru for example is the most caring about other ppl's pain person, but they call him selfish and rude bc of the way he is with Makoto at times, not even realising that it IS in fact what means being kind sometimes.. to not give someone a chance when you know you don't feel it. I was always saying this like since forever, being kind doesn't mean for example giving everyone second chances, loving everyone, wanting to be friends with anyone etc. In some situations it's not being kind, it's being stupid or even not being a good person. Once again... offering someone friendship after he openly dissed your friend and you see that he's not in any position to talk back is not kind. Or if someone cheats on you constantly, but you always forgive them it's also not you being kind. It's you being stupid. Sometimes you have to be harsh. It's for the greater good.

And like I saw several times stuff like someone under scenes where Rin has his eyes for Haru only, commenting like "oh great, look at Rin being inconsiderate of Sousuke's feelings again. Can't believe you guys find this romantic." I mean, if in their opinion Sousuke is in pain from being Rin's friend, he can end it, it's his choice. It's not Rin's fault that he thinks of him as just his friend. So thinking that Rin is an asshole bc each time he simply hangs out with Sousuke he's a selfish bitch is fucking insane. I'd feel extremely bad if my best friend was seeing it this way for example. It's like hella ugly.

This annoys me also bc of the fact that Rin, the person who at the age of 12 single-handedly saved his family from falling apart after his father's death, who's an amazing friend to Sousuke and did everything to make his happy after he found out about his trauma and always checks on him first and cries about his shoulder, who in the late evenings taught Rei to swim, when everyone else gave up already xD, who was looking after Nitori during his training, who pretends to walk the same road, just because he's scared to let Gou return alone in the evenings, the most amazing son and brother, is suddenly an asshole just because Haru is in love with him, but not with Makoto. I mean, thats just... huh? Like I dont mind you ship what you want to ship, it's like to each their own crayons for real. But like dissing them and call them selfish just bc they only see their friends as friends and don't want anything more is weird to me.

As for the fact that bc of the misunderstanding they don't deserve to be happy, that's just idiotic. I mean, lets punish Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan too just bc Lan Zhan couldn't voice his real feelings back then and bc WWX misunderstood him. Lets ship WWX with Wen Ning instead. Nezumi is cancelled, he doesn't deserve to be with Shion. He left him. Takano should stay with Yokozawa, Onodera is trash. Wu Xie is trash for wanting to be with Zhang Qiling too. It doesn't matter why he leaves, it only matters that he always does. I can't believe he doesn't see that Pangzi is there with him all along xD. What an ungrateful trash of a human being I can't even.

And anyways btw both Rin and Haru are not ideal human beings in any way (otherwise I wouldn't love them this much tbh xD). But their flaws are definitely not what for example mh shippers usually blame them for. You can argue about their other imperfections easily. Like being stupidly stubborn for example. I won't point fingers here, Haru lolz. Or literally anything else.

My point is you can find what to trash them for logically, if you wanna. Do it smartly tho. Otherwise you make your ship look bad.

And I once again say what wise person said about his relationships and about the fact that not being able with someone he loves hurt him and 'why is he doing this to himself' he answered: "it's not on him. my happiness and my pain is for me to handle". Everyone decides for themselves. This is why for example Haru was so broken about voicing this to Rin and didn't have any intentions to tell him that in the first place. Bc it's not right, if you're not sure that it's requited. Technically he has no right to blame Rin for making him fall in love with him and then leaving in the first place. It's not Rin's fault really, that he made him feel what he feels for him, it's ultimately Haru's problem. That's why he feels has no right to blame him in the first place. I mean, he doesn't know that Rin feels the same, that means saying to him "you break my heart each time you leave" and making him feel bad about it is technically wrong. That's why Haru to himself said "no, please, don't say such things to him". Everyone for himself decides who deserves your 5, 7, 800 or 10000 years of your pain. It's your decision. It's your life. If Haru feels like Rin is worth it, then you have no say in that matter really. The only reason we call Rin an idiot or Haru an idiot is because we know they feel the same, so we can. But blame someone else for not feeling what you're feeling is not right.

So like even if you feel like Makoto and Sousuke have feelings for their friends, blaming Haru and Rin for having feelings for each other and not for them is beyond weird. And there's nothing wrong with putting someone you love first, every bro/sis gets it. You can say bros before hoes all you want, but like Lan Zhan might just drop his bro for his hoe, if he was given a choice. Would it make him a bad person? The fact that Wu Xie chose to save Xiaoge before Pangzi makes his a bad person? My point is it's not all that easy.

I just feel like many ppl in this fandom are very weird about many things. Either because they do not get what it's like to go through some things or maybe they just do not get that no matter how cheesy this sounds love is not that simple. I mean, for example not all selfish is bad, sometimes like in Haru's case for example not being selfish is also bad. Bc if he finally asks for what he wants, he will make both himself AND Rin happy.

To be angry at Rin bc of the aftermath of his father's death and s1 I never had it in me, after knowing everything and how adults handled it. If some of Sousuke's fans bc of Yakusoku and the fact that Rin found his salvation in Haru bc he helped him to move forward after getting his family out of this hell alone and that Haru was the safe haven that made him happy in this moment of his life, want to trash Rin for the fact that he "neglected" Sousuke, its like your opinion. I personally do not get it. Rin doesn't owe Sousuke anything. It's not his fault again that Haru's existence helped him to feel better.

Just like not everyone will get why Haru in 1x12 was so happy about the fact that he could help Rin. To be that special somebody for someone who can "save" you in moments of your life like this, especially if you love them is an incredible feeling. And no, your bestie isn't always the person for this job, no. I don't see why people do not get that I guess, that's all. But we all have our own opinion on everything, so...

We same as you do not get it since forever, but its like it is what it is in this fandom. I personally just have another life position on stuff, so I'm very far from that point of view they have.

#answered #anonymous #rinharu #harurin #free! #nanase haruka #rin matsuoka

[shelobussy]

Ohmygod YES Susan Pevensie is awesome please talk to me about Susan i want to know everything you have to say

Literally THANK YOU for asking me this bc Susan Pevensie is a character I never get asked about and I have So Many Opinions.

I'm going to start by saying that Susan used to be my least favorite character in the series. This goes for the books and the movies. Some of it was for personal reasons--she reminds me of a couple of annoying ppl I know irl--but it was also bc I watched Prince Caspian which shoehorned her into a relationship with Caspian which I hated.

HOWEVER. I ended up rethinking this position after interacting with Susan fans and realizing that there are so many wonderful things to love about her!

(putting under the cut bc this got long)

Things Ash Loves About Susan Pevensie

Aight I'm not going to do a formal analysis yet on her, but instead rant about some of the unrelated things I adore about Susan Pevensie.

Susan the Archer

Look we all love archery here. I don't have anything more to say.

Okay, I actually do have more to say. I love the fact that Susan is a complete badass with the bow. You get the general impression that she's one of the royals in charge of public relations, traditions, foreign policy, etc. and yet she's the most competent archer in the series. One of the few things I liked about the movies is how they didn't downplay this. They actually let her be a badass and show off her skills.

Also the part where she kicks Trumpkin's ass was awesome.

Susan the Gentle

Susan being the most passive Pevensie was something I definitely underappreciated as a teenager. I think my non-ability to see past "I'm not like other girls" narrative and the combination of Susan being described as the most traditionally feminine woman in the Narnia series is what initially turned me off from her.

HOWEVER, now it's one of my favorite attributes! I love that Susan is a badass and the most beautiful woman in Narnia. She has hair down to her feet, every man and woman in the kingdom want to fuck her, and she's still a fucking badass who will not hesitate to kick your ass.

Susan the Sister

Most of my thoughts of Susan as an older sister mostly stem from my own personal headcanons, but she is an awesome sister to her siblings. She's Peter's voice of reason, Edmund's sass partner, and Lucy's big sister.

Susan the Mom-Friend

She is a literal mother-figure for Corin.

"[...] the most beautiful lady he had ever seen rose from her place and threw her arms round him and kissed him, saying: "Oh Corin, Corin, how could you? And thou and I such close friends ever since thy mother died. [...]"

-The Horse and His Boy, 33-34

Most everything I have to say about this ventures into headcanon territory, but I love the idea of Susan basically adopting Corin after his mom dies. The way she trusts Cor--who she thinks is Corin in this chapter--is really sweet and I wish we could've seen more of that relationship.

Susan the Flawed

Something I notice from the fandom is a lot of people who hate Susan tend to because of her flaws. On the other hand, most Susan stans like to wave away these flaws and blame C.S. Lewis for being misogynistic or Aslan for being a "cruel god" and ignore the fact that she is a deeply flawed person.

Susan gets something of a "reverse redemption arc" in The Chronicles of Narnia. This makes her not only a fascinating foil to Edmund--as both are analytical, logical people--but an interesting character by herself.

She starts out in TWW as very skeptical of Narnia and it's whole deal and also very condescending to Lucy throughout. She ultimately does admit that Lucy was right and does get on board with the whole prophecy at the same time Peter does, and ends the book being crowned "the Gentle Queen."

In The Horse and His Boy, she has a very interesting dynamic with Edmund and in even more interesting relationship with Rabadash. They don't even interact on-page with each other, but it's highly implied that she was interested in him when he was a guest in Narnia. His behavior obviously changed when she visited him in Tashbaan, but you have to wonder what their dynamic was like before for her to travel all the way to his home when relations between the countries were strained at best.

Prince Caspian is where the cracks start showing through. Susan has lived an entire life as an adult in Narnia, gets thrown back to England with her siblings, and is yet again in Narnia as a child. This book is what really emphasizes her one fatal flaw: convenience.

(Put a pin in that thought, I'll get back to it.)

Susan denies once again that Lucy saw something that the rest of them can't seen. She continues this narrative until every other sibling finally acknowledges Lucy in the right and only then does she apologize.

The last mention of Susan is in The Last Battle, where all of her flaws rise up against her in the worst way possible. I have a lot of controversial opinions on this that I'm going to address later, but I just want to say that Susan's reverse-redemption arc is something I actually like about her.

(There is also evidence that Susan does get a full redemption arc, just as Edmund and Eustace did, but C.S. Lewis was pretty much done with The Chronicles of Narnia at the point and instead encouraged fans to write their own version of how that went down.)

Okay, back to convenience being Susan's fatal flaw. So the one thing that comes up time and time again in the series is that Susan is very focused on material comforts. I believe it's implied that she's vain, and it's canonical that her own personal comfort spurs her to make decisions.

"[...] I really believed it was him — he, I mean — yesterday. When he warned us not to go down to the fir wood. And I really believed it was him tonight, when you woke us up. I mean, deep down inside. Or I could have, if I'd let myself. But I just wanted to get out of the woods and — and — oh, I don't know [...]"

Prince Caspian, 81

Prince Caspian has the strongest examples of Susan doing this, but certainly there's evidence elsewhere. There are a lot of fans who are distressed by this, claiming that Aslan and the others are too hard on her and shouldn't judge.

Honestly, I like that she's written with this flaw. Not only is it very relatable--(my own personal comfort and convenience is something I highly prioritize too)--but it humanizes a character who otherwise is ridiculously op and basically the Helen of Troy of the series. It may sound like I'm using this as an excuse to rant, but I really wouldn't have her any other way.

Susan As Portrayed by Anna Popplewell

Movie!Susan is a fucking delight.

She's sarcastic and badass and awesome and I could spend hours heaping praise on Anna's acting and her portrayal of Susan, but I can already tell that this post is going to be long so, I'll just stop here.

(10/10 want to be stabbed by her tho.)

Personal Headcanons

Let's talk about my fanon thoughts. I have many.

Susan is Aro

There's canonical evidence for this! Susan is a character who is heavily pursued by suitors everywhere, and even lets herself be courted by many of them, but chooses not to settle down. Even when she gets back to England and is described as only having interest in parties and material things, boys aren't mentioned.

I like to think that in The Horse in His Boy Susan was interested in Rabadash at first because he was a brilliant conversationalist. Nothing she says about him implies romantic interest, before and after she realizes the truth of his intentions.

Susan and Edmund Were Best Friends

This might be my love for The Horse and His Boy showing itself, but I think Susan and Edmund were thrown into circumstances where they interacted the most with each other.

Edmund is the ruler in charge of politics. Susan is the ruler in charge of Cair Paravel's public image. I imagine they spent time as ambassadors to other countries and planning royal functions.

They're also the most level-headed and logical out of their siblings, so they probably found a lot in common.

Susan Fancast

I literally just said I loved Anna's potrayal of Susan's (and I love what they gave us of older Susan too in LWW!), but I read the books in 2008 and my parents didn't let me see the movies bc I was like...nine years old and they thought it would be too scary.

So I had to headcanon my own interpretations.

Queen Susan the Gentle:

For some reason Merlin wasn't too scary for me to watch and I fell in love with Katie McGrath in like. Two episodes so. (On an unrelated note, I also fancast Bradley James as Peter at the time.)

Anyway, fanon Susan is basically Morgana Pendragon pre-evil arc. Sassy as hell, hot as fuck, and can kick your ass.

Unpopular Opinions

Yeah, feel free to skip this part if having controversial fandom opinions is a deal breaker for you.

The Problem With Susan Isn't Actually A Problem

I'm about to start so much discourse in the Narnia fandom, but C.S. Lewis's choices with her in The Last Battle weren't misogynistic. Bear in mind, I'm not saying that all of his writing choices in the series were A++ or excusing away certain racist/sexiest bits, but it's honestly baffling to me that people are so up in arms over Susan's exclusion in the final book.

So the part that everyone loses their shit over is as follows:

"My sister Susan," answered Peter shortly and gravely, "is no longer a friend of Narnia."

"Yes," said Eustace, "and whenever you've tried to get her to come and talk about Narnia or do anything about Narnia, she says 'What wonderful memories you have! Fancy your still thinking about all those funny games we used to play when we were children.'"

"Oh Susan!" said Jill, "she's interested in nothing now-a-days except nylons and lipstick and invitations. She always was a jolly sight too keen on being grown-up."

"Grown-up, indeed," said the Lady Polly. "I wish she would grow up. She wasted all her school time wanting to be the age she is now, and she'll waste all the rest of her life trying to stay that age. Her whole idea is to race on to the silliest time of one's life as quick as she can and then stop there as long as she can."

The Last Battle, 83-84

There's a lot to unpack here and I first want to say that everyone's opinion on this part, no matter how different than mine, is valid. I'm going to be quoting some other ppl's opinions on here and by no means am I bashing them. I just want to address my feelings on the matter and the best way to do that is to cite the thoughts of ppl who have opposing ideas.

Here are some arguments on Tumblr I've heard regarding "The Problem of Susan":

"How about we talk about what might have happened if Narnia hadn't deserted Susan? [...] What if we didn't tell Susan she had to go grow up in her own world and then shame and punish her for doing just that? She was told to walk away and she went. She did not try to stay a child all her life, wishing for something she had been told she couldn't have again."

"Narnia is filled with metaphors (often not very subtle ones) that are supposed to teach us how to be, and the most glaring one for any young girl to absorb is that it's okay to be a girl like Lucy, unthreatening and cheerful and valiant and faithful, but to be a girl like Susan gets you punished - in fact, you aren't just punished, you're destroyed."

"why do we call it ‘the problem’ where’s the problem about a young woman dealing with her trauma and choosing her own path, actively making the choice to keep living and to stay and to carve a life out in England when her siblings couldn’t? what is the problem about susan forgetting to somehow cope with what she’s experienced? why is it ‘the problem of susan’ that she recontextualised her faith?"

And then there's JK Rowling who said this:

There comes a point where Susan, who was the older girl, is lost to Narnia because she becomes interested in lipstick. She's become irreligious basically because she found sex. I have a big problem with that.

It's weird how I'm still finding new ways to hate JKR in the year 2021. Again, there is absolutely zero implication that Susan had sex when she came back to England. ZERO. Did she actually read the books? IDK. If someone shares this opinion pls reply with actual canonical evidence.

Back on topic, I'm a firm believer of death of the author and interpreting art via your own experiences. Which is why I'm also going to share my own interpretation by saying y'all are wrong.

Susan Pevensie was not abandoned by Narnia. She was not barred from Narnia because she is traditionally feminine or because she "owned her sexuality" (another opinion I didn't have time to condense down for this post) or because she recontextualized her faith or even because she deserved to be punished.

I also fail to see how Susan recontexualized her faith, as the entire point of it all is that she has none. Bringing this back to Susan's fatal flaw (personal convenience/material comforts), her prioritizing herself over her own faith is the reason she is "no longer a friend of Narnia." Not...whatever fanon y'all are imposing on her character.

Susan is not being punished for liking lipstick and looking pretty. Susan's not even being punished. Y'all read Neil Gaiman's The Problem of Susan and forgot it wasn't canon.

There are many reasons Susan is not in Aslan's Country (one of them being that she's not actually dead yet), but the main one has to do with this:

"[...] But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.”

Voyage of the Dawn Treader, 215-216

Yeah, okay that's why Susan is no longer a friend of Narnia. The implication when the Pevensies are told that they can no longer enter Narnia is that they are to find Aslan in other places. Susan doesn't do this, instead choosing to focus her life on material things. It isn't the lipstick, it's that she only wants the lipstick.

Susan Had Sex In The Books

Oh and not in the context y'all are thinking. (Again, there are no implications that Susan was barred from Narnia for having sex or that she had sex when she came back to England.)

So there's actual canonical evidence that Susan and Rabadash had a sexual relationship. Sort of.

"What think you? We have been in this city fully three weeks. Have you yet settled in your mind whether you will marry this dark-faced lover of yours, this Prince Rabadash, or no?"

-The Horse and His Boy, 35

Edmund calls Rabadash her lover. Not her suitor. I don't know if the word had a different meaning in 1954, but it feels like C.S. Lewis is saying that they're fucking. I'm not really happy with the idea of Susan sleeping with an abuser, but really proud of her for Getting Some as a woman born in a time period where having premarital sex was a big no-no.

This also invalidates the weird opinion going on that Susan was barred from Narnia because she had sex.

Suspian Is The Worst

I haven't really talked about Movie!Susan much, but as long as we're talking unpopular opinions, it's worth noting that I hate Suspian. Some of it is the "Susan is Aro" headcanon screaming inside of me, but it's also the fact that it's written poorly, does nothing interesting for either character and generally comes across as awkward.

I feel like they were trying to make Prince Caspian sexy and relevant to teens. It came across as super heteronormative and unnecessary.

It also gets really really weird bc the next movie then gives Caspian and Edmund mad chemistry and we're all just like........ok.

Final Thoughts

Susan may not be my favorite character in the series, but she's grown on me over the years. I have many issues with fanon interpretations of her--which definately fueled some of my disdain for her initally--and I don't identify as a Susan Apologist.

I do however adore Susan and have many headcanons for her not mentioned here. I love reading fanfic, writing fanfic and meta, and generally having conversations about her and would love to talk more about it.

I welcome criticism (CONSTRUCTIVE) and conversation on all of my opinions and observations. Please drop into my inbox. <3

#susan pevensie #the chronicles of narnia #the problem of susan #narnia #meta #narnia meta #susan meta #ash does fandom #ash does meta

[hanijunk]

Alright boys, girls, and nonbinary folks of the world. It’s 5:36am (1/30 when I first started) as I decide to give up on my attempt to continue to focus on learning statistics, avoid studying for my two upcoming midterms, and put off my two actual essays for two different classes.

Instead we’re going into a dive about ✨ KazuFuuma ✨ . Is this me telling you you gotta ship it? No of course not, you’re entitled to your own ships! You don’t really gotta care about it as a ship. But I do want people to recognize it’s THERE canonically, and how disregarding it is extremely unfair to Kazuki as a character particularly. Also, I’m working on the assumption anyone clicking this at least knows the bare bones about what KazuFuuma (ex. You know they are a ship of Kazuki/Fuuma from Dolce, you know they are childhood friends, you know who Dolce is, you know about Honeyworks, etc.) I’ll be making references to specific things, but I won’t always go into heavy detail. Might just hope you know it or take my word for what it is, and go into analyzing it. Some I’ll put direct references to find, but some I’ll trust you can find it yourself. If you somehow read this MAMMOTH and want reference to a specific thing mentioned, hmu I can help you find it!!

Also I hate tumblr formatting sm if you legit wanna read this 7 page essay but hate tumblr format lmk I'll add it as a google doc link instead too. anYWHO

Before actually getting into the meat of things lemme preface some stuff.

Again it’s like almost 6am so this will be disorganized and very train of thought (and likely long due to the fact when I fly by the seat of my pants I’m known to get unnecessarily extensive). It’s definitely gonna be in large part why it’s important to recognize as a romantic relationship foundation and what about it shapes Kazuki’s character in particular. Maybe a bit of how it’s been built up and its general focus and implications. Dunno yet. We’ll see LMAOO

I say f*ck. Not a lot, just a handful of times. This ain’t something scholarly this is for my own enjoyment so if you don’t like that might not wanna read. And it’s not like spitefully I just curse a lot if you haven’t...read my tags before lol

Again this is through the lens of a Kazuki stan. Of COURSE I’m going to have some level of bias, but if anything that bias may help more than hurt because that means I become FIXATED and think a lot about Kazuki. Which plays into establishing just how important it is that Kazufuuma’s relationship is recognized, especially in a romantic light at this point. Lmfao. 

I’ll have a few more prefaces about the actual content below but to keep this from getting too long if you wanna read come below the cut owo

I have extremely limited knowledge of Japanese just taking a few classes in highschool (so like 3 yrs ago) and live in America. This means a lot of my knowledge is gathered through the english translations of the super duper incredible and lovely people in the Honeyworks fandom who provide translations (delaix and takanenene esp have provided so much for me being able to understand Dolce) and my own limited Japanese paired with Google Translate for things that remain untranslated.

This only will be drawing on information I have come in contact with and have access to and making assumptions based on that, most (if not all) of which is in the public domain. So things like the Dolce Manga Volumes released via Animate, exclusive 4komas, and Light Novels are out of my area for the most part (apart from again snippets of translations thanks to this fandom’s godlike and generous translators).

I will not be drawing on anything from the first Dolce album with the exception of Nade Nade. From a meta standpoint, I consider those songs as songs made as performance media as opposed to character explorations. Nade Nade is the exception because (1) it was released a whole year before the album and (2) you can tell it’s explicitly an exploration of Fuuma and Kazuki’s interpersonal relationship even if it’s in a slightly more performance based context than the songs that came out with the Dolce LNs. Easiest parallel I can make to show this is if you held Non-Fantasy, Yume Fanfare, and Samishigariya up against each other, you could tell the difference in intended audience and intended purpose the same way the Dolce 1st album, Nade Nade, and the songs of the LNs do respectively. Even if there is some basis to ground Kazufuuma, for the purposes of this essay I’ll be acting under the assumption the 1st album falls under the Non-Fantasy equivalent category.

THAT WAS A LOT OF PREFACING CONSIDERING LIKE 2 PPL WILL PROBABLY READ IT I just have a tendency to anytime I do anything analytical lay down ground acknowledgements for myself to work on just...cuz it makes me feel less guilty for any accidental misinformation even if I’m writing towards my future self to read lolll IM SORRY WITHOUT FURTHER TO DO HERE’S THE BRAIN DUMP

First let’s go ahead and establish why it needs to be recognized as an important relationship. Again, I’m a Kazuki stan. He’s my favorite character not only of Dolce but also of the entire Honeyworks series, and as much as I love him for reasons outside the ship, whether you like it or not Kazufuuma is an essential aspect of his character and narrative. Of course there’s the fact that him and Fuuma are childhood friends, so that’s going to in part define their characters and interactions with each other and those around them. They’re both going to be relevant to one another and important to one another’s stories to an even greater extent than the rest of the members of Dolce. But on Kazuki’s side at least, it’s an EXTREME amount. A running plotpoint in Dolce Diary is the sheer amount of dedication Kazuki has to Fuuma and how much his thoughts and decisions are influenced by Fuuma, whether it be how he feels happiest spending time with Fuuma, how he decided to get his piercing to represent he wanted to protect Fuuma, how he doesn’t want to dislike food so he can eat what Fuuma dislikes, etc. Not to mention running jokes about his borderline overprotectiveness and downright possessiveness of Fuuma, how proud he is when Fuuma gets praised, or that one 4koma that literally explicitly states he can read Fuuma’s mind when he thinks motherfucking ‘dirty thoughts’ about his childhood friend (Fuuma). I still don’t know what the fuck to make of that last bit. Genuinely. Or the fact it’s a fucking running joke. As in it’s not a one off. It’s been brought up multiple times. Kazuki what the fuck. 

That’s not to say that he doesn’t have character outside of Fuuma or he doesn’t interact with people other than Fuuma. He’s great friends with Sara, Girisha, and Kippei and is shown time and time again to have fun interactions with all of them, generally acting as the best support friend for every member of the group, not Fuuma alone. For instance how he helps Kippei with his self confidence issues or stays over at Sara’s to protect him from a cockroach (which he fails at lol). Nor is that to say all his interactions involving Fuuma focus solely on his devotion to Fuuma, especially in instances where the manga focuses on Dolce as a group dynamic (though even in that setting there are times where jokes about his devotion are thrown in). He’s kind, he’s stupid, he’s friendly, he’s an amazing character in his own right, and I love him for all those reasons. But that doesn’t change the fact a major part of his character and his character interactions are rooted in Fuuma, and arguably some of his most interesting, eccentric, and notable behaviors and traits revolve around Fuuma (again the mind reading for example).

Hell let’s take it one step further. If you look at the character bios of the Dolce members, you get everyone’s motives for being an idol and interests. Of them, Kazuki is the only one to have another character mentioned directly, not to mention that supporting Fuuma is explicitly stated to be his primary motive as to why he became an idol. Not even Fuuma’s sister is mentioned, though two arguments can be made for this. The first would be that Fuuma’s backstory about wanting to fulfill his dream for himself and his sister was decided later to explain Fuuma’s choice to crossdress though it can be argued it was intentionally done to leave it as a reveal at a later date, to which I would argue I don’t think this backstory was a choice in post. While Fuuma’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra exploring that backstory was released a little less than a year after Dolce was revealed, the preview to set up Fuuma’s backstory was actually the first thing released after the character bios on the Dolce Official Twitter page if you exclude a drawing of Dolce from Yamako. The second argument could be that information about his sister was intentionally withheld to set up the reveal when Fuuma’s extra released to explore it. However, going by that logic (which I do agree with), that would also mean that Fuuma’s inclusion and importance in Kazuki’s character bio also set up his dedicated extra, which I don’t think would be incorrect to assume considering what his actual extra turned out being.

Which brings me to the thing that makes it inexplicable to write off the romantic implications behind Kazufuuma: Kazuki’s dedicated Dolce Diary extra, Suki. I shipped Kazufuuma before even knowing of Suki, sure. But the fact that Suki even exists is a shock to me and drove into me the fact that Kazufuuma wasn’t just my own projection. Again, it’s not a surprise that Fuuma shapes Kazuki’s life. They’re childhood friends, of course they’re going to be important to each other. But this extra explicitly brought Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma under a direct spotlight. At first I was thinking oh, this extra was just to acknowledge the fact that Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship can have romantic implications, but the end of it the conclusion that we got was that it didn’t matter what type of “like” he felt for Fuuma. Originally, I thought it wasn’t anything more than saying there are all types of like, and it doesn’t always need to be explicitly defined, but I appreciated the fact they were aware that they were writing Kazuki in a way that conveyed romantic implications. 

Then I thought about it because, again, I love Kazuki of course I’m going to think about his character extra, and realized...that’s not how these character extras have worked. There are only three character extras out as far as I know and have read: Fuuma, Kippei, and Kazuki. If we look at Fuuma and Kippei’s, each extra had a conclusion, sure, but they didn’t have a resolution. Rather, they were simply setting up explicitly what each character’s primary character arc and conflict were. Fuuma’s extra brought attention to the fact that he’s particularly a crossdressing idol by exploring the motives behind it. His choice to be a crossdressing idol is constantly under fire both by himself and the world around him. He’s not immune to those who consider his crossdressing strange, and a part of his story is both finding people who accept his decision to crossdress and to succeed for himself as a crossdressing idol. It’s an essential part of how we understand and define him as a character and it’s a central part of how he interacts with the world around him. For Kippei, it lays the severity of his insecurity under the spotlight and his journey and motives for improving himself. Again, this isn’t something isolated and resolved in the extra; his extreme insecurity and negativity is constantly affecting how he interacts with practically everyone from his fellow Dolce members to his fans despite the fact in all honesty? He’s fucking insanely talented in his own right, his own brother mentioning how smart he is and how he has amazing reflexes. For Kippei, his negativity is an essential part of how we understand and define him and central to how he interacts with the world as much as Fuuma’s decision to crossdress is to him.

Which brings us back to Kazuki, of course. In his dedicated extra, in the chapter that’s supposed to explore and establish and bring attention to an essential part of his character, the aspect of himself under investigation is how he feels about Fuuma. It’s not just how he behaves around Fuuma, it’s explicitly an exploration of his feelings, on top of the fact it’s explicitly an exploration about whether or not he likes Fuuma r o m a n t i c a l l y. Literally the conflict is spurred on by someone outright asking “Do you like him?” and having to clarify “I mean romantically.” What they decided to focus on for Kazuki’s character and emphasize and establish is that Kazuki’s like towards Fuuma toes the line between friendship and romance. His ambiguous feelings towards Fuuma (if we leave them inconclusive as Suki did) are just like Fuuma’s crossdressing and Kippei’s insecurity in the sense the weight of whatever those feelings may be are seen in how he interacts with the world around him and influences his behaviors. It would be another story if they introduced the potential and shut it down all within the extra, because then his central conflict would to me be less directly open to romantic potential and more simply about how his arc was meant to explore the dynamic of the behavior of an extremely dedicated best friend. The fact that he may be romantically attracted to Fuuma or may be only platonically dedicated to Fuuma is instead something that looms over Kazuki in the same way Fuuma’s decision to crossdress constantly looms over him. It’s what Dolce wanted to point to and say this is Kazuki’s central character conflict and central arc: exploring what type of feelings he has towards Fuuma. 

Sure, it can be argued that there’s only three Dolce Diary character extras, there’s not enough to be sure about that being the purpose of the extras unless we get the other two’s extras. First, at this point I honestly don’t know if or when they’re going to release an extra revolving around Sara and Girisha just because not only has it been over a year and a half since the latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Kazuki’s) was released despite the gap between the first and latest Dolce Diary Character Extra (Fuuma’s and Kazuki’s) were within a year of release but also because the Dolce 4komas and comics they’ve been posting to Twitter have decreased (last one being over half a year ago) potentially due to them deciding to focus on releasing Dolce manga content through the purchasable volumes instead. (This is not particularly related to the Kazufuuma argument, just wanted to put out there my two cents on what Sara and Girisha’s extra/focal arc would be. Based on a large part of the Dolce Diary in conjuncture with Can’t an Idol Fall in Love, I’d argue Sara’s would be his journey to regain his passion for performing, and if it’s not that I’d say it’d be coming out of his self-imposed isolation and opening up to people again. As for Girisha, I have less of a concrete idea but I’m assuming it’d be something pertaining to how people often misconceive him whether it be in tandem with his determination, his optimism and sociability, or his stupidity/ability to ignore those misconceptions and work past them. But Girisha is treated like the comedic relief 90% of the time so I’m not entirely sure, but his primary conflict is definitely rooted in misconceptions of him being his roadblock imo. #MoreGirishaContentPlz) That being said, I personally feel like the three are already enough evidence, especially considering it would be honestly even more cruel for Kazuki’s character-centric extra to be focusing on something that wasn’t essential to his character and character arc, anyway. And though it’s not explicitly stated that these chapters are extras exploring a central character, you can kind of tell based on how they are (to my knowledge) the only Dolce Diary updates with cover/title cards each which include their focal character front and center. So working off that fact, the Kazuki-centric chapter established that a pillar to his narrative was his feelings towards Fuuma and that those feelings are still open to romantic potential. 

But if you follow me, this is why up until Can’t an Idol Fall in Love With Another Idol’s release, I was terrified of them writing that off. I would have been ok if it was just an arc that was given attention then continued to actively work in the background, as all the character arcs have been over all of Dolce’s content. The fact that they might be giving Fuuma a love interest and giving Fuuma a love arc while Kazuki’s feelings were still up in the air and were still the primary highlighted narrative for him would have been fucking scuffed. To me, it would be like… why would they make him so Fuuma-centric to the point that even his dedicated chapter was not just focused on Fuuma but focused on the ambiguity and potential of him having romantic feelings for Fuuma, yet reduce him to being Fuuma's designated right-hand man. Don’t get me wrong, friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. But again, rather than conclude Kazuki’s answer in Suki to be that his feelings were of friendship, they left it open ended and allow audience members to be actively aware that Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma still had potential to be romantically coded. It would just be so weird to quickly close off that narrative by giving Fuuma a love interest as opposed to letting Kazuki conclude it himself. It would be fucking beyond frustrating for me, at least Eventually, I kept trying to drive my hopes that they would explore Kazuki’s narrative at all down to the ground because it was a Fuuma-centric novel; maybe if anything they’d explore those feelings in his own novel after the fact. But then they kept having little drops here and there of Kazuki being even the slightest bit relevant and I’d go back to questioning “Are??? They??? Is this on purpose??? Do they know what they’re doing or are they just doing this because Kazuki’s just so important to Fuuma as his best friend that he’s there as his right-hand I genuinely can’t tell???” And um. Welp.

Safe to say Can’t An Idol Fall in Love sold me on the fact that they know what they’re doing LOL. And to anyone who thinks that Kazuki’s feelings can still be read as ambiguous in CAIFILWAI as opposed to explicitly romantic - whether it be due to a fear they may pull the “I like him as a friend” card or due to the disbelief that they have an explicit mlm main character in the Honeyworks series - I’d like to cover any bases that may make you think this way. If you think it’s just Kazuki acting like a protective friend, why do you think he calls Yui a rival? If you’ve only seen the MV and think it’s ambiguous or can be taken as the "likfe" for friend, then does that mean you think Yui’s feelings toward Fuuma are also ambiguous or as a friend? With the way Yui responds, she is trying to rival Kazuki’s feelings towards Fuuma. She and Kazuki recognize whatever feeling it is that they hold towards Fuuma, both of their feelings are the same type. I don’t think most people would argue that Yui’s confession about Fuuma was one of pure respect and friendship. Plus, if anything I’d argue of the three characters in the MV, Fuuma is the one whose feelings are left the most ambiguous despite him being the central character. It’s heavily implied that he may be forming feelings for Yui, but nowhere is it established either in the song or in the MV, especially if you compare it to Kazuki and Yui’s declarations or if you compare it to Sara’s feelings for Uru in Can’t An Idol Fall in Love. Fuuma’s romantic narrative here is trying to figure out how he feels for Yui, while for Kazuki and Yui they’ve established a rivalry because they both have mutually established they like Fuuma romantically.

If the MV isn’t enough for you and Suki isn’t enough for you for...some reason…??? You can check out the snippets of the light novel which the wonderful takanenene translated: one which revisits the conflict set up in Suki and one that covers the confession scene in the MV in more detail. If the fact that the conflict set up in Suki (aka the lurking feeling of not knowing if all he felt for Fuuma was only platonic or more than platonic) was specifically reestablished in the LN for anyone who didn’t keep up with Dolce Diary didn’t tip you off that it was something important, his behavior in the confession scene as depicted by the LN definitely should have. He’s possessive about his spot by Fuuma’s side. He doesn’t want that spot to be taken by anyone else. Even if he knows that they can help Fuuma, he wants it to be him. And this line: “Kazuki then trails off his words, quietly saying ‘That’s why…’ and then gave Yui a slightly painful smile, his cheeks turning red,” before he declares Yui a rival and states he likes Fuuma. If you can tell me you read that line and are still on the fence about Kazuki’s “like” towards Fuuma being romantic, please message me and I will see how I can get through to you. Like it wasn’t even just a romantically coded confession. It’s just a romantic confession. That “like” is romantic. And I’m so proud that he’s not only come to understand for himself how he feels, but that he’s confident enough to ask the person he sees as a romantic rival to speak in private and not only clarify her feelings for Fuuma but before she can even do that firmly establishes that he loves Fuuma with conviction. Kazuki my boy I’m so proud of you. *sniffs*

And that’s it for establishing Kazufuuma as at least canonically one-sidedly canon and why there’s not only no reason to deny it but also why denying it is a fucking disrespectful move towards Kazuki. He’s a character, sure, but that doesn’t change the fact you shouldn’t write off his struggle to come to be convicted enough to say it out loud. This has been something weighing on him at least a year, if not more (all I know is it started when both he and Fuuma were in some year in middle school). And as a character in a piece of media, I’ve been saying this the entire time, but brushing it off as non-romantic is literally chucking a fucking pillar of his character’s story into the gutter. And to those who may be saying Kazuki’s confession came out of nowhere and is pandering reread this entire fucking essay again I dare you to do it and tell me to my face it’s pandering. Again. Writing off the buildup as pandering is disrespectful to him, disrespectful to his character and narrative, and disrespectful to the wonderful people who have been creating Dolce so diligently and have crafted this narrative for us. Saying his “supposed feelings” and “ambiguous confession” is pandering is like saying Fuuma’s crossdressing is pandering which. If you say either of those I will find you and I will shank you in the fucking gut. Even if you’re not fully into Dolce, recognize these characters are actually very well developed and executed amazingly, as per every Honeyworks character that has come to exist. I don’t blame you if you weren’t aware of the weight of Kazufuuma, but now that you read this I hope you are. That’s mainly what I needed to get out there, but as follows will be me more exploring how Kazufuuma has been built up and generally waving my hand off at where it may be going. If you want you can dip, thanks for reading up to here because I know I repeated a lot because it’s just. So important to drill into your head and has been something I’ve been hung up about constantly. LOL

As for where exactly they’re taking it from this point on, I honestly don’t know. In all honesty, I didn’t even expect them to take it the direction they did. But honestly, I think the direction they went with it is really interesting and better than I could have imagined, in my opinion at least. Honeyworks never ceases to amaze me with their storytelling and narrative choices, and I don’t think there’s any that stand out to me as being severely questionable that they haven’t reapproached at some point down the line. And, again, I think they’re treating this with a lot of care and deserved respect. So I’m just gonna be gushing about how smart they set it up and how smart they’ve been executing it and maybe my own hopes on the direction it could go.

Whether they make Kazufuuma reciprocated I have no real clue or bearings, but to me my gut reaction is they will. Of course, I’m biased, but again if you trace things all the way back to 2018 and step through Dolce’s content and growth from there, I’d say even if they didn’t know if they could execute it like this and see it to fruition, I’d argue that Kazufuuma has been at least heavily implied since the beginning as a relationship they wanted to explore from both sides of the relationship. Obviously I brought up Kazuki’s character bio already, but if you look at the *goes to count* 5th Dolce Diary update already has a joke jabbing at the fact that Kazuki is technically Fuuma’s type (and the way Kippei and Kazuki excitedly react is so cute). The fifth update. And as stated before there are tons of Kazufuuma moments in Dolce Diary, whether it’s played for comedic effect or played straight (and this is post Suki but oh my god I’ve said it before I’ll say it again get yourself someone who looks at you the way Kazuki looks at Fuuma oh my jesus). But song-wise, I mentioned the one Dolce album song I would bring up is Nade Nade and this is where it comes! 

Not only is Nade Nade specifically focused on Kazuki and Fuuma’s relationship as opposed to the whole of Dolce despite being the first song, it included the setup/preview of the Fuuma-centric extra prior to the full release of the Fuuma-centric extra itself and was released early as fuck. Literally between the 6th and 7th update to Dolce Diary. Sure, it could be to isolate them as a duo for marketing purposes (they’re very often the two promoted idols together if the whole of the group aren’t included), but the way it’s established as a perspective song as opposed to a general idol duet is what fascinates me. Anyone who didn’t know about Dolce prior and only followed Honeyworks for music would be first introduced to these characters through this song alone, and maybe this is where my Kazufuuma bias comes from but I was one of those people LOL. I thought it was just a cute one-off relationship that they had set up for the purpose of a song and that it was an implied friends-to-lovers story that would never get a conclusion. Also I mistakenly thought Fuuma was a girl oop-. In the full context of Dolce, this song in part helped establish Fuuma and Kazuki more solidly as a unique duo out of all of Dolce, but it also specifically explored through Fuuma’s eyes just how much Fuuma recognizes and appreciates the unwavering support Kazuki gives him to follow his dreams as he wishes. For Fuuma, he loves Kazuki too, though whether it holds any romantic potential in the same way Kazuki loves him has never been explored to nearly the same extent. But Fuuma appreciates how Kazuki’s remained by his side and does everything he can to support him, so Nade Nade explores how his way of expressing his love and thankfulness to Kazuki is by never saying that he needs Kazuki by his side. He’s glad Kazuki’s always been there for him, and his reciprocation takes on the form of being ready to unwaveringly support Kazuki and not ask for more than he already has, even if it meant Kazuki would be leaving his side, despite the fact that he really does wish they could remain together forever just as Kazuki does. The one point he lets himself say something vaguely close to always wanting to stay together, he gets a surprised expression out of Kazuki and says an ambiguous “suki dayo.” Of course, this it much less romantically coded than what we get from Kazuki in Suki and CAIFILWAI, but there is an interesting emphasis put on it nonetheless. Keep in mind, this is all established through the song, which released long before not only Fuuma’s character-centric extra released but also Kazuki’s character-centric extra released, so there is at least a substantial setup for Fuuma’s feelings towards Kazuki’s being strong as well and possibly grow to be reciprocated one day.

I think for me the most fascinating part about Nade Nade is how they tied it back around to Can’t An Idol Fall In Love with Another Idol. Again, without remembering Nade Nade, I still thought CAIFILWAI was brilliantly explored and executed, even if some people would have preferred no love triangle. But honestly, revisiting Nade Nade makes me trust even more the direction they’re taking with this. Whether or not they make Kazufuuma canon mutually (which. Even if they for some inexplicable reason didn’t I’m going down with this ship.), I’m sure they’re putting a lot of thought into the story, because the last bit of Nade Nade directly parallels the misunderstanding that arose from Fuuma mishearing the Kazuki and Yui. Fuuma is resolved to support Kazuki in any area he’s given the chance, and that explicitly includes if Kazuki had some girl he liked, which is what he assumes is going on. The fact that they tied this back around in the form of a misunderstanding was really really smart and Honeyworks is always so good at parallels and references back to their older songs, but for some reason I didn’t expect this. I don’t know how to say why, but the fact that the song that started it all, kicked off both Dolce and Kazufuuma, was directly referenced both visually in the MV with a cameo at the start and narratively despite the central dynamic being predominantly explored in this story in particular was that of Fuuma and another potential love interest and involves said potential love interest for some reason makes me think that (sorry Yui) this is all planned out for Kazufuuma in the grand scheme of things. That being said, I don’t know if me thinking it was planned all along is just me with shipper goggles, but the idea it’s come full circle nearly 3 years later is not shipper goggles and a very very well done parallel in my opinion, whether this trajectory was their plan for Kazufuuma from the beginning or not. Just wanted to gush about that some more. 

There’s more I could go into especially if I went into specific details about interactions or specific implications established in Honeyworks' Dolce content about different characters that would be fascinating to explore in relation to and under the lens of Kazufuuma, but I think this is uh...plenty long enough. Plus, I doubt you'll stop seeing Kazufuuma posts from me so those ideas will probably just be miniposts or somethin.

Back to the overarching point of this segment, idk what they’ll do with this story in the end, but do I think Kazufuuma will canon? I’m used to looking at ships that aren’t explicitly apparent with a sliver of skepticism, but all things considered (as I stated before) yeah. I don’t see reason why they wouldn’t now that they’ve explicitly identified there is a romantic dimension to it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Like to me, the setup isn’t something that would be written off as unrequited? And this doesn’t have to play into why I don’t think it will canon, my personal opinion on the Fuuyui relationship (again albeit through the lens of a hard Kazufuuma shipper lmao) has it’s own merits and is really cute, I find it cute in the way I found Koyuhina cute. I personally never really shipped Koyuhina, and especially since they slipped Kotarou into Ima Suki Ni Naru I was more curious about who this kid was and how he played into things I didn’t really see Koyuhina as something that would come to fruition. Similarly, there’s more importance in the overall sense on Kazuki than there is Yui (considering he’s one of the 5 original and focal members of this generation of idols, this would be natural), as well as the fact there’s just way more foundation and exploration in Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship than there is Fuuma and Yui. As for how much of a balance there is inside the LN itself, the fact that they seem to have spent a substantial amount relaying the foundation of Fuuma and Kazuki’s relationship and re-exploring it (at least in Kazuki’s perspective) at all on top of how much content there is covering their relationship prior to the LN ever since Dolce’s origin just feels like that relationship holds more weight. Pretty much Kazufuuma feels more established as a priority in general. The way I personally hope Fuuyui plays out is whether they wind up holding mutual feelings or not or whether Fuuma doesn’t feel that way towards Yui is they get a relationship akin to Kotarou and Arisa. Albeit, Kotarou and Arisa never viewed each other in a romantic light, but they had mutual respect and solidarity. That’s the type of friendship I hope comes out of Fuyui. And considering there hasn’t been a break-up in any Honeyworks’ canon relationships (nor do I expect there to be… they’re all perfect for each other LMAO) it would actually be interesting if Fuuyui get together but don’t endgame and Kazufuuma is established as the inseparable endgame after some realization or another, though I don’t expect them to go that route nor do I know if that’d be the best way to go about it anyway. Also final point, Honeyworks seems to have a thing for childhood friends trope anyway soooooo owo All in all, don’t know where they’re taking it, just excited to see where it goes. 

TL;DR of this *counts* 7 page essay, stan Kazufuuma. Not gonna proof this. Maybe I’ll edit and repost but yall are getting a confusing clusterfuck of ramblings over 2-3 hr periods of me writing across 3 different days at around 5am each day. Uh. If you got this far like and subscribe and-- jk plz reply to this mammoth anywhere you see fit or tell me if you have stuffs to add or counter or whatnot I like hearing people talk about Kazufuuma ;w; I am Kazuki and Kazufuuma brainrot can you tell after reading this? No? Lemme just remind you I’m K--

#honeyworks #dolce #kazufuuma #kazuki haiga #fuuma shirayuki #long post #analysis #character analysis #kinda? #nobody cares trash #also keep in mind this is PURELY for self satisfaction LMFAO read it if u wanna dont if u dont idgaf either way #anyway kazufuuma canon fight me #or have intellectual conversation with me #if you want it on a google doc bc it's easier to read hmu #if you can't tell i think about kazufuuma too much #how much of this is repetitive? probably a lot...

[liliesoftherain]

Okay but chill s/o with the no biggie attitude was so cute like bakugo is rlly this dramatic lil boi who excepts ppl to do the most for his love n I’m here for it can I have a head canon for them or 2?

A/N: HECK YEA LET’S GET SOME CHILL LOVE IN BAKUGOU’S LIFE

Title: No Biggie P.2

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Part 1: Chill S/O

Bakugou Katsuki!:

First Date:

At first your classmates didn’t notice a difference between you two

You didn’t really act any different and neither did Bakugou

He was always a little nicer to you anyways

Considering you were best friends there was no reason to think any differently about it

You two weren’t trying to make it known,

However, you guys weren’t trying to hide it either

You two did the same things you normally did

Hung out together, studied together, trained together

Anything together, you name it

But Katsuki felt as if he wasn’t doing enough for you,

Or what he said was,

“WE GOTTA START DOING COUPLE SHIT, GOT IT!? BE FUCKING READY HOTSHIT!”

“You think I’m hot, Katsuki~?”

“HJBDVSDBVUVBFY MAYBE, SHUT UP-”

And so you two made a plan to spend the day together that weekend

And it honestly was the least stressful thing ever

You know how people get those first date jitters?

Nah, none of that here

Even though Katsuki knew that this was a big deal,

HE’S DATING HIS DREAM S/O WHY WOULDN’T IT BE

He knew you were the person he trusted the most,

So why would he be nervous?

If there was anything you did/didn’t want to do,

He knew you’d be vocal about it

In a non-condesending way

(Because baby boy cannot handle that rejection yo)

So the day came and he took you out,

And lo and behold he had the best time of his life

He didn’t do the usual,

‘Let’s eat at a fancy place and watch a movie’

Nah, this guy is a little wild,

Kinda crazy if anyone would ask you,

So you guys did a bunch of things most people would consider training,

He took you both to this park he knew

Beautiful area with trees and hiking trails,

And actually wanted to mountain climb with you,

“You ready to lose, Katsuki?”

“Let’s fucking go!”

At the top was this really pretty spot,

You totally thought this is the spot he wanted to show you,

“Nah, we gotta go farther, just hikin’ this time.”

You just shrugged,

Grabbing his hand with a lazy smirk,

“well then you gotta hold my hand.”

“WH-WHAT FOR!”

“It’s my prize for winning, duh.”

“I fucking won, what are you talking about!”

“Well, what do you want as a prize then?”

“…shut up.”

He squeezed your hand and started to drag you up

Took you on the scenic route all the way

Once at the top-top, he whipped out a nice little picnic lunch he made

You thought it was the sweetest thing

He made a bunch of your shared favorites

You guys talked about everything while you ate

Hero studies, class, plans after graduation

You had never felt more happy

And Katsuki swears he’s never seen you more stunning 

Especially that you have that favorite lazy smile of his on your face

You guys packed up after a while,

And you tapped him with your famous lazy smirk,

“Race you to the bottom, hotshot.”

He never ran so fast

You won,

But he “let” you, of course…

You two walked around the city for a while after you climbed down 

At one point you were caught rambling,

and when you looked at Katsuki your breath hitched in your throat at the look he was giving you

He was staring, a smile and serene smile on his face

It wasn’t anything over the top,

but it was a true smile

He noticed the dazed look in your eyes and couldn’t help the blush over his cheeks

So, if you’re asking

What was the perfect way to end this perfect date with your perfect man?

Well,

With a perfect kiss of course.

When Class 1-A Figures it out:

As stated,

Your classmates didn’t notice anything different at first

You two had just seemed,

Well normal

As normal as a nice Bakugou could be

But it all clicked for them during the last sports festival

You were watching from the stands along with the others,

Having gotten out during the first rounds of battle

But you were enjoying watching from the sidelines,

Getting to watch your mans move his way up the ranks just like his first year

Y’all don’t talk about second year…

But now you were watching the last match before the final two were to battle,

And Katsuki was going against a tough opponent

Tougher than you thought, seeing as they were keeping him on his toes

You knew he could handle himself,

It was never a big deal when anything would happen

If he lost a practice battle or spar you’d just give him a smile,

“No biggie Katsuki, we’ll kick ass even harder next time, yea?”

People would say it was a miracle how you could calm him down with something so simple

But you  knew it was because you were just telling him the truth

SUre, he didn’t win but next time?

Oh he’d kick ass.

He knew you weren’t messing with him and he appreciated you

He may give a fake frown and a playful eye-roll, but he’s always agree

That’s how you were with everything he did though,

You shrugged it off,

Even when girls or guys would try to flirt on him,

What reason was there to get upset?

You knew who you were, 

He knew who he was,

So what did it matter if someone thought something else?

But this time you felt a strange tightening in your chest as you watched this chick land punch after punch 

She must of had some type of strength enhancement quirk because holy hell

She was kicking ass.

You had winced,

WINCED,

When she punched him and you saw Katsuki get slammed back and skid across the cement

A few of your classmates saw how emotional your facial expressions were,

And they were a little nerved

If you were worried, 

Then what the hell was happening???

You weren’t worried per say but-

Ah, she was flirting with him now??

You watched how she blew a kiss as Katsuki stood up, 

Pushing her breast together as she fawned over how manly he was being

Yea, like that made sense.

“Wowie Katsuki-kun, you’re so amazing. I’d love to see some more!”

the way she eye-raped him made your chest tighten even more

“Some more huh!? I’ll show you some more”

The lick of his lips had something in your snap,

And you were out of your chair before you could even register what the hell you were doing

You’ve never felt this way,

A burning feeling in your chest as you saw green,

This wasn’t no biggie,

This felt like a big deal to you.

“OI KATSUKI!”

Your shout startled everyone,

You literally made Deku jump out of his seat at the gruff and barking tone,

you NEVER raised your voice,

even during training when you were calling for backup, medic supplies, or commands, 

It was always just loud enough,

to be heard and respected

But never like this!

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR!? AN INVITE LIKE THAT, KICK SOME ASS ALREADY AND PROVE HOW YOU’RE THE DAMN BEST!”

You were glaring harshly,

Gripping the railing tight as you did,

You saw your boyfriends attention immediately snap to you,

Like he swore his neck broke at how fast he looked at you,

mouth to the floor and eyes open wide,

who were you??

You didn’t bother to stare at his rare flustered face,

grinding your teeth as you looked at the girl instead

“AND YOU PUNK, KEEP THOSE EYES UP TOP YEA!? BETTER YET TO YOURSELF, OR I’LL COME DOWN THERE AND SHOW YOU, “SOME MORE” MYSELF, HAH! WANT TO FUCKING DIE? DIDN’T THINK SO.”

“Wh-what…”

“Has (y/n) ever talked like that?”

“Why are they talking like Kaachan??”

“Is (y/n)-chan jealous?”

“…There has to be a reason, kero.”

“(y/n)-san???? EMOTIONS??? Besides nonchalant? No way…”

After the battle,

That Katsuki pulled off like you knew he would,

They had a lot of questions…

You waved them off with a lazy shurg,

Your chill persona there as if it never left in the first place

“Idk what you guys are talkin’ about. You’re being pretty noisy though.”

You stood up and started to make your way out the seating area,

Just to see Katsuki sprinting towards you

You stared up at him with lazy eyes as he came to an abrupt halt,

Not even flinching when he almost crashed into you

“Yo, good match-”

He caught you off guard with a kiss.

It was rough, 

a little sloppy and frantic,

but damn if it wasn't romantic,

“what was that for?”

“You’re just the best, you know that?”

“If you say so?”

“WHAAAAAT!?”

The shocked sounds of your classmates pulled you both from your own little world,

You gave a lazy smile while watching Katsuki blow up on them all

But you saw that little blush along his cheeks,

Who knew Katsuki liked to be shown off?

Sure, you knew he wanted you to do the most for his love,

Or whatever he had called it,

But you didn’t realize just how much he needed it.

Needed someone to put him first,

To prove to him that he was worth it.

Right then you decided that no matter what,

You would do your best to prove to this boy he was the most.

That his life was the most valuable, most worthy thing you could ever hope to be apart of,

and that was no biggie,

Unlike Katsuki Bakugou,

Who was very much a big deal.

#bnha #bnha x reader #boku no hero academia #boku no hero #boku no hero academia x reader #boku no hero x reader #bnha imagines #boku no hero headcanons #mha #mha x reader #my hero academia #my hero academia x reader #my hero academia headc #bakugou #bakugou katsuki #katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou #bnha bakugou katsuki #bnha katsuki #bnha katsuki bakugou #bnha bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha katsuki x reader #bnha katsuki bakugou x reader #mha bakugou

[maggotmouth]

          hillo sexthy legends !!   i’m nora and i’ll be writing margo colby n probs sm1 else bcos lets be real, i lack self-control. u can find her pinterest here n some info abt her sexy self below the cut. plot with me on discord ( hot girl midsommar#8664 ) or in my ims !!  x o x

     * CAMILA MORRONE, CIS WOMAN + SHE / HER  | you know MARGO COLBY, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ELEVEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS  like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole BLEACH WHITE SNEAKERS POUNDING ON A GYMNASIUM FLOOR, USING THE SAME BLUNT SCISSORS TO HACK THE SLEEVES OFF AN EXES T-SHIRT THAT YOU USE TO CUT YOUR 3AM FRINGE, A WALNUT-SHAPED ACHE IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH FOR THE PERSON YOU COULD HAVE BEEN thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is AUGUST 8TH, so they’re a LEO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nora, 25, gmt, she/her )

CLICK ANYWHERE ON THIS SENTENCE FOR SEXII GOOGLE DOC!!

bullet point summary of margo.

—   born margaret but NOBODY calls her that. its colby, coach or margo, and go to the privileged few. margo grew up in the creek commune n then dropped out of school cos of a teenage pregnancy so she was a bit of a cautionary tale back in’t’day (said tht in my yorkshire accent). she now works for summer camps coaching pee wee soccer and pee wee cheer, as well as helping out her beekeeper dad on his honey farm, which is jst north of abernathy creek, and working at scuba on the off seasons.

—  its just her and her dad, and has been for as long as she can recall !! everything she knows about her mum could fit on the back of the weathered passport photo she keeps in her wallet of a stranger who shares her face - her name’s melody, or at least tht was name she used when working as a dancer, she’s from argentina and dropped mag’s dad as soon as someone w more money came along.

—  margo’s father is a beekeeper with his own organic honey company. margo and her dad moved to irving in the early 00s, the summer between grade school and middle school, because her dad had heard about the communal living in abernathy creek and wanted to lend his skills there and live off the fatta the land in a very lenny from of mice and men kinda way.

—  for a few years of middle school margo was bullied for living with the ‘freaks from the creek’, but when they realised how chill her dad was with underage drinking, margo ‘keg-bringer’ colby soon gained popularity among the more renegade students. every so often, the high school parties would happen at her end of town, occasionally with members of the commune even offering the high schoolers a spiritual experience they’d never forget (often in the form of mushrooms) which meant people tried to stay on her good side. to get an invite to a margo colby party handed you a free pass to make up the most ridiculous shit about the commune you liked and nobody else could say anything, because they’d never been to the creek.

—  at school, margo had a lot of ‘behvioural issues’ bcos of undiagnosed adhd, she found it difficult to sit still for hours n write down huge chunks of information n her restlessness was seen as laziness. she was encouraged to do sports, as were most of the kids who weren’t that academically inclined, but she turned out to be pretty hot shit at sprinting, because she grew up surrounded by bee houses and he who runs slowest gets stung, baybeyy!! so yea, in school sports became her LIFE. she was gonna get a sports scholarship to college but ended up dropping out of school in senior year n becoming one of those kids who could have had it all but lost it.

—  she had sex with sutter at a house party when she wasnt really ready because it felt like the right thing to do at the time and everybody else was doing it. she’d attended health class, she’d seen the corny videos. she knew about all the statistics, but she also knew that it had never happened to anyone she knew and the pull out method was basically safer than the morning after pill and way less expensive.

—  a teenage pregnancy knocked her out of the runnings for prom queen and meant she had to leave school early. she didn’t go to college when her friends did, instead she spent the time interviewing potential foster candidates and eating her weight in lindt chocolate while marathoning love island in her room.  

—  she had a son, who she passed off to someone else a couple of towns away.  it was a closed adoption which seemed like the best idea at the time, but she now wishes she had access to his life.

—  after peaking in high school and jumping between jobs for a few years, she got a more permanent role at scuba which she loves with all of her heart and soul, but unfortunately a bar job doesn’t pay the rent.  

—  she works at summer camps coaching  junior soccer and netball on the side. she’s extremely competitive and takes it very personally if her team lose. the kids all call her, coach colby n write her longwinded letters about how they’ll never forget this summer camp before they go back to their suburban picket fence houses n she keeps all the letters in a drawer n takes them out to read when she’s feelin depressed.

—  enjoys surfing and worked for a number of years on resorts like mila kunis’ job in forgetting sarah marshall. she went on to work 18-hour days as a stewardess on luxury yachts which is a part of her backstory i added after watching season one of below deck because i guess i really am that fucking impressionable. met most of her surf friends doing tht but said she’d never in her life do it again bcos it was mostly just picking up after rich white ppl for shit pay. she came back to irving n thats when she started doing the summer camp jobs so she could move out of the creek n get her own apartment. 

—  she never actually finished senior year so she’s currently going to night school at the community college to get through her exams and is trying to save to go to college or open university. she wants to major in criminology. she’s super ambitious but also super adhd so she fluctuates between thinking she can achieve anything to just feeling like a failure n thinkin whats the point

—  used to shoplift to feel joy and as an act of resistance to her hippy commune routes, but now sees herself as a reformed, bin-diving freegan (sims 4 eco living can i get a hell yaaaa). also she thinks it’s totally wrong to steal when you have enough money and clearly don’t need to steal to survive, ppl risk imprisonment for basic necessities, so for her to do it for a brief thrill and some new shades felt a bit derogatory

—  was raised jewish. became a vegetarian as a child because it seemed, at the time, easier than having to explain which foods she was and wasn’t allowed to eat together, so she just cut out meat entirely. still a vegetarian now and dabbles in veganism, although its become less about not eating certain meats in the milk of their mother and more about her global impact / carbon footprint

—  nurses little animals to health in her garden. has a hedgehog name OJ short for orange juice not the other one filthy pig. her and her dad have always been huge animal rights activists and existed on a vegetarian diet. the only one in their house who isn’t vegetarian is their cat, auggie. (short 4 augustus gloop)

—  has a lot of stupid ass stick and poke tattoos. there was a phase during her years as a barmaid where she wanted to train as a tattoo artist n would mostly practice on herself or any friends who would let her

—  she doesn’t form many long lasting friendships cos she tends to be super excited when she makes a new friend and just see them all the time but then it wears off and she can ghost a bit. she��ll always coming pinging back but she’s not the most predictable or loyal friend, sometimes she’ll sleep in your house every night for a week and then you won’t even get a text from her for a month. her best friends are elderly neighbours and houseless people she meets when volunteering at the foodbank. she thinks they’re more authentic than most of the ‘fake posers’ she meets down the vela pier

—  calls herself a butch lesbian but still has sex with men when she wants validation. sexually attracted to some men, especially effeminate men, but only romantically attracted to women. very possessive of the gals in her life.

—  stopped giving a shit about getting older or adhering to anyone elses bullshit standards, realised it was all fake p much as soon as she dropped out of school and one by one her friends just stopped texting her

—  lives in one of the lofts in port apartments. it’s open plan with rugs and lava lamps everywhere. she has a palette bed. its all very ‘sustainable chic’. like, oh wow, a pallet bed that im supposed to think you made from scratch but i KNOW you got it  off ebay because you thought it looked trendy

—  constantly says shes poor but still buys clothes from urban outfitters. sus.

—  frequently found at fannies flirting with the cute bisexual bartender with a choppy black bob.

general vibe / personality

vibrant, vulgar, self-absorbed, tenacious, veers bewteen apathetic and dogmatic, temperamental, flighty, unreliable, magnetic, charismatic, passive aggressive, likes to play devil’s advocate, takes the moral high ground. estp and a leo

likes: 70s music, john wayne movies, black mirror, philosophy, cowboy chic culture, dc comics, the smell of locker rooms,, deep red lipstick, lacrosse sticks, smoking weed from a bong, dogs, karaoke, pet rats, kate moss, late-night strolls, hawaaiian shirts worn open over a bralette, skinned knees, thai food, picking the apples at the very top of the trees, zip-lining, cigarettes, the idea of pegging but not the practical application of it, decorative lamps, LGBTQ+ pin badges, worn-out furniture, twangy electric guitars.

dislikes: girls who call other girls ‘pick me’ girls, woody allen movies, mental mathematics, wealthy children, quentin tarantino, ironing, institutionalised misogyny, the imaginary future, french literature, ‘dump him’ feminism, wes anderson films, spoken word poetry nights, college-educated bar staff who act like they’re better than you,  indie softbois, the general mentality of cheerleading squads.

aesthetics

orange peel, the smell of bleach, skeleton drawings in the margins of a journal, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, bleach white sneakers pounding on a gymnasium floor, setting dumpsters on fire for the hell of it. a hit flask of vodka decorated with hello kitty stickers, split knuckles, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, a child in an oversize bee keepers suit, scabbed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you,  a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

hoo boy this is getting LONG AS FUCK but here are my wanted plots

wanted plots

ok margo’s been in irving since she was like 10. she’s quite a vivacious person?? she dresses completely instinctively without any sense of cohesion so she stands out. a guy once told her she was wearing the ugliest outfit he’d ever seen and he thought that was so cool and brave of her. but anyway where was i going.. she grew up in the abernathy creek so stuck out like a sore thumb,,,, maybe ppl who were super interested in the creek or maybe poked fun at her bcos of it idk.....

b4 she dropped out, margo used 2 b in with the cool kids at school bcos her dad would buy them booze and rarely ask for the money. maybe a fun plot cld b with some of the ‘it girls’ she used to hang around with b4 she got pregnant n dropped out and they all went off to college n stopped texting her.

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! some1 she feels like she knew before irving ???

since margo literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships. fwbs. enemies with benefits. all the angst. all the slow burn mutual pining we hate each other narratives

locals who play sports. margo wld be all over community soccer n take it way too seriously. maybe ppl she plays hockey with. girls who she’s like, weirdly intimate with but its not a thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

she works part time at scuba. i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry.

she's also a surf instructor and occasionally works as a lifeguard!! gal has like 7 jobs ik but regular swimmers hmu

ppl she coaches at the gym !! she wants to be a personal trainer

i reckon she might have recently started meditating to try and calm down her mind cos its always bustling with thoughts, n i think she’s p interested in buddhism so if anyone’s a buddhist hmu

someone she’s trying to make a zine with on female empowerment and women in film and art, etc. just a very feminist zine. 

TLDR:  angry sports gay, former high school track prodigy turned drop out, who likes feminist literature, wearing leather jackets over slip dresses, and smudged red lipstick.

this was so long !!! im sorry !! if you’ve read this far have a biscuit, love x

#aaaaaaa #we back boys #irvingintro #hmu for plots bayybeyyy

[bellamyblake]

so I saw some posts in the bellarke tag (from a few bellarke) saying how season 6 bellarke was terrible and that Bellamy was out of character and would never do the things he did for Clarke that season.. and that he was bland, and the cpr scene could’ve been any sappy couple, but like ?? I loved season 6, and I thought Bellamy was in character (as opposed to season 5 where they barely interacted and had any big emotional talks after 6 years of thinking she’s dead and ugh s5 to me felt the least like them) i mean to me him doing anything for her seems like something Bellamy would do? Look at the all past seasons and all the sacrifices and thing he did for her and how protective he was over her for any little thing! I feel like Bellamy leaving everyone to save clarke would be something that would happen? And him basically in tears trying to save her as she’s dying in front of him pleading that he needs her seems in character and something they would do and it felt special and sweet to me :/ how was Bellamy bland for doing the most he can to save someone he loves?? Idk, s6 was one of my favorites for how actually romantic it was and it bums me out hearing some bellarkes hating it. How do you feel about it? Do most of the fandom think it’s ooc and Bellamy’s bland?

I think the most important fact to begin with here would be that you gotta understand something that was also a little hard for me to understand at first but that I learned fast when I got into the fandom and that is that-

Nobody judges Bellamy Blake more than his own fandom.

Literally.

I’m even gonna be as brave as to say that the pinapples might not even know what to put on his shoulders besides season 3 to blame him for every mistake but we can. We absolutely can say the worst things about him and call him anything.

You know back when I got in the fandom that was season 3 and that was the WORST time to join but haha, silly cute lil me, I knew of so many blogs and Bellamy and Bellarke fans who HATED Bellamy and refused to understand his actions which yes though questionable, were at least supposed to be put under the microscope and understood.

I knew people who hated season 2 Bellamy too which was such a surprise to me, those were mostly original season 1 fans who said that he was *too  herioc* in season 2 and it *doesn’t fit his character*.

So after that, like season 3 and everything (and after Bob explained how much was missed on and not told and the better part of the season which made some fans show some mercy towards his character), I decided myself that I’ll always step back, think over everything that happens to him with as clear of a head as I can and decide for myself. 

I kept doing it to the end which is also why I am the only one in the fandom who didn’t call him ooc in s7. But THAT is another subject.

I think what I mean here is that nobody and I believe that wholeheartedly is more rude or more brutal to Bellamy Blake than we are. I often felt like we as a fandom hated him more than any anti can and it broke my heart. Most of all what broke my heart was the blatant refusal to understand him or his actions.

I think after season 1 people just had this image of the bad boy rebel king with soft heart who lets Clarke and the 100 in and that was it and that still sells most to these days in fics and amongst the fandom. 

That’s literally where they stopped and they refused to add anything else to his multilayered character in their heads.

ANYWAY-

You asked about season 6 and I LOVE season 6 despite most bellarkers not being fans of it. I think here it comes again a lot to fandom and how the said old gen bellarkers refused to like season 6 bellarke because apparently it wasn’t written as well, the dialogue was bad, they kept recycling stuff, I’ve seen this over and over and over again but for me, personally season 6 was a whole ass trip from beginning to end that is just that-

a love story.

His love story to Clarke.

I think through it he manages to achieve in his heart what he never got to do for her in season 4 and season 5. I have had a few friends at the time who thankfully felt the same way and we discussed the fact that-

season six is filled with all the romantic tropes that we as bellarke writers (and old gen bellarke) KEEP WRITING but complain that we never actually had

WHICH WE DO????

but somehow it is not good enough for them. 

So to answer your quesiton, no, not all people in the fandom thought it was bad, but I feel like again as before with just bellamy and season 3 there was this PUSH as if on purpose, to hate this, to condemn it, to call it *not the same*. I understand what they say that yes they are not entirely the same people and here comes my next point-

THEY ARE NOT!

and newsflash-

THAT IS FINE.

I think a majority of the people refused to accept the fact that they grow as characters and they have layers added to them just as the story grew and went from one planet to another. I think not everyone can accept that and that is fine, I have no problem with that I just wish it wasn’t just so blatantly hated.

I personally think that the CPR scene is where they PEAKED in all aspects. THIS is the most they’ve been truly romantic I believe that and that it is actually expressed in the DESPERATION with which he saves her and her waking up and throwing herself in his arms. Also let’s not forget his lips touching hers which for us is like basically sex.

And after that scene came out I saw a lot of hate and I was so surprised, mainly on twitter from old bellarkers, fic writers who said LOL what a dumb scene, haha he can’t do CPR right and i was like WHAT-

WHAT-

WHAT-

COME AGAIN?

You were okay when she peckered his cheek for 0,02 secs and left him all the fuck alone in season 2 to deal with EVERYTHING and the kids but this is-

BAD FOR YOU?

HIm reccassitating her and begging her and crying and his own effing sister seeing his break down and then managing to get to her, to make her to pull through and her coming back and throwing herself in his arms IS BAD?

I mean I literally died there and it is still my favorite moment.

I know nobody would agree with this but I still think this is the best one. The hugs were great but at some point how many hugs can you have?

This was more. This was so much more and I loved it.

I think also there is something else when people call some scenes blind and that is that Bob was in a lot of pain filming that because of his injury. He literally couldn’t walk and had to redo some scenes from the beginning of the season back in the end when he was a little bit better so it is clear that it is very hard for him to do this but he still does his best imo and by the time the CPR scene comes he clearly is much better and it shows in his acting too (which is also why i personally love his acting in s7 it shows so much how when an actor takes care of themselves, takes a step back, recovers and comes back he literally crushes it but AGAIN i am a lone wolf in that aspect)

Anyway, here is my advice:

1.Stay out of the tags;

2. Find people who you enjoy seeing on your dash to follow and who do fit your interests in terms of the show.

3.Don’t read ppl’s opinions, frankly, don’t listen to anyone, not even me in that ask if it doesn’t sit right with you. Instead find your own thoughts and emotions. 

When I first got in the fandom there was so much meta and meta blogs and you dk the hate I saw in our fandom when it came to bellamy or the wrong discorse about his actions so I just unfollowed them all and did my own thinking. 

That’s what i advise you to do!

Thank you for your question, sorry for the length!

#bellarke #bellarkeedit #the 100 #meta #answered #season 6 #bellamy blake #clarke griffin #sorry for the lenght #Anonymous

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ok so Camille’s an asshole on that we can all agree, but I’m really tired of people in the fandom acting like she’s just your typical annoying ex and she makes poor uwu Alec feel insecure cause fuck that. Camille was 100% abusive and manipulative but I also think she was sexually abusive too I mean seeing what she did to Simon and kissing Magnus without his consent even though he was clearly uncomfortable, consent doesn’t really seem to be an issue for her-

I feel like she definitely manipulated his fear of loneliness and not being good enough, to suit her needs. Like Magnus isn’t in the mood for sex or it’s especially triggering on a certain day, either way he’s not up for it but Camille makes him do it anyway. She threatens to leave or go find someone else who can fulfill her needs or take care of her when Magnus won’t, ‘I mean does he even love her when he won’t do this one simple thing for her?’ 

So he just lets her do what she wants, even if he’s having a full blown panic attack Camille doesn’t care or she’ll just leave insulting him saying she can’t deal with this right now and leaving Magnus with no idea when or if she’ll be back. So the next time she asks he hesitates less or initiates it more even when he’s not in the mood so she won’t leave and yeah I have a lot of emotions relating to this. and now I’m thinking about how it’ll affect his future relationships, not even talking about Alec but other people - I have this headcanon where when he got away from Camille and is healing, him ragnor and Catarina live together in ragnors cottage or somewhere away from people for awhile so Magnus can slowly heal and focus on himself and unlearn Camille’s abuse with the help of his family 

But despite what this fandom says Magnus has always been a helper and a selfless person to the point of self destruction. He’s unable to prioritise his own health and he wouldn’t be able to slow down and feel the full force of the abuse he experienced cause he feels like he’ll fall apart if he does and ‘no one wants a pathetic crybaby who breaks down when someone moves their hand too fast in his direction it wasn’t even that bad he’s just exaggerating like he always does this is why Camille doesn’t love him back’ (the ‘’ parts were meant to be strikethrough to signify Magnus’ inner thoughts but that doesn’t work on asks)

And he’s scared to get in another relationship cause he doesn’t think he’d be able to speak up for himself if they turned violent or controlling, he’s scared that if they did he’d just let them so he closes himself off from people puts these walls around him and a bright smile on his face that doesn’t let anyone think there’s anything wrong. And theres so much pain going on in the world ‘they have it much worse than him anyway’ and Magnus tries to help the best he can as he always does and he’s always there for people to lean on without any reciprocation and he’s so emotionally and physically tired and he’s not sure how much longer he can take it, almost considers going back to blackfairs bridge ‘really he’d be doing the world a favour’ but theres too many bad memories and he promised his family he would try so he holds on and then he finds Raphael and that obviously doesn’t fix everything but- I was going to continue this but it’s two am in my country and honesty it’s too long already😅 sorry for the rant it’s just a lot of emotions. Im so tired of the ‘Camille’s an annoying ex who keeps getting in the way of my favourite gay ship😠’ metas and needed to let out some feelings before I explode from my hate for Camille

UGH ANON HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE NOT ONLY A GENIUS BUT ALSO MY NEW BEST FRIEND, AN INTELLECTUAL, AND COMPLETELY RIGHT. YOU ARE SO CORRECT!!! idk if uve read my other post that i posted while i was waiting for you but we no longer have the same hat we are SHARING the hat!! i can't believe i got this ask right after i had just made that long ass rant and was in so much need to talk about this like ugh are you my guardian angel. i love you more than anyone else ive ever met

ok ok ok coherent thoughts ok i can do this. first of all THE SALT how does it feel to have vision and coherency. ppl writing camille as just an annoying ex or a bad ex or even as like "oh they both made mistakes and it ended up terrible" drives me UP THE WALL. camille was explicitly abusive, so much so that magnus CANONICALLY WAS UNABLE TO ALLOW PEOPLE TO GET CLOSE TO HIM FOR ALMOST A CENTURY. and she was shown to be abusive, both in the physical sense as you have reminded us so brilliantly and in the sense that her whole "choose me" speech? like she doesn't have to literally say the words "no one but me would ever love you" for that to be exactly what she's saying. she's obviously playing with his insecurities and putting him down while presenting her as his savior, it's CLASSIC ABUSE. she was written as such a perfect to-the-book abuser that it honestly shocks me like they did that really all they ticked all the boxes. the way she immediately launched to talk about alec's mortality too, the way she was obviously trying to make them fight and draw them apart - it wasn't a jealousy thing, it is just that she's abusive and she wants him isolated so she can toy with him and manipulate him 

EVEN SALTIER WHEN THEY MAKE IT ABOUT ALEC BEING INSECURE LIKE. especially because canonically he literally watched camille kiss magnus and didn't care, which was sexy of him because i was dreading some jealousy drama or something but instead he was just like. obviously she did it to hurt you. i only care in the sense that she's a fucking bitch. we stan! 

as for how she treated him! oof i think the same thing with the same words dioajdsaoij it always circled back to "why can't you do this for me?" in and outside of sex - i mentioned that in a conversation in the comments of my other post but i think that with camille the sexual abuse was really just an extension of the regular abuse, so they bleed together and are not really separable in that sense. at every turn, he had to prove his worth, and she used his fear of loneliness both in the sense that she amplified it and made it seem like the only way to not be lonely was to be with her, and that she gave him just enough for him not to feel desperately lonely so she could string him along. not to mention, they both always go back to how magnus supposedly "owes" her, and yes, it's because of the bridge, of course, but there's also that underlying tone of "because she put up with him and gave him affection when no one else would". even when what she did was nowhere close to real affection. so it's both the bridge and the after. she could have saved him and left, but she stayed. that's why he feels he owes her, and she will absolutely use it

AND UR SO RIGHT ABOUT MAGNUS BEING UNABLE TO PRIORITIZE HIS OWN HEALTH UGH UGH UGH UGH like he has no choice for a while because she left him fucking broken and seeing the way she treats him and the amount of shit he puts up with i can only imagine how far she had to go for him to reach a breaking point and leave her for real. but as soon as he could pretend to have himself together he just threw himself out there. and i believe that he felt guilty for having catarina and ragnor take care of him when he abandoned them because of camille - obviously that's not what happened, she manipulated him into staying away from them, made his life hell whenever he wanted to hang out with them until he no longer had the energy to put up a fight to keep in contact with the people he loves, but it's what he feels that happened, and most likely what camille herself eventually started to tell him happened once they had been pulled away enough. ("you're gonna leave me? and go back to who? your little friends who tried to pit you against me from day one? they're just gonna say 'i told you so', magnus. and why would they take you back when you left them before? when was the last time you even saw them? you chose this, you chose me, and now you're gonna come back to them and expect them to welcome you with open arms? you selfish little prick")

AND RAPHAEL!!! raphael was so important, honestly, we say that magnus didn't let anyone into his heart but obviously raphael was the exception and EXTREMELY important for his healing. it's a complicated relationship because he's sort of a father figure for rapha, and as such, he doesn't allow himself to be completely vulnerable around him, because that's not "his role". but! he was the first person whom magnus let in. and they obviously know each other deeply ("i hate to see you like this" even though magnus looked completely put together to the outside eye) and are plenty affectionate ("sweet boy", the hugs, the way rapha talked about magnus with so much love and awe in his eyes and voice) and trusting (the way raphael went to magnus' loft, not his own damn clan, when he was tortured...). i know this fandom likes to pretend that they pretend to hate each other but NO THEY DON'T they are openly caring and loving with each other fucking fight me on this

anyway, my point is that raphael was the first person he allowed himself to trust, and of course, part of that is simply because raphael was vulnerable and in need and like you said he can't just stay still when he sees someone struggling. but to care for raphael eventually had to mean to open up to him and when he welcomed raphael in, he gained a new member to his family. raphael is his kid. that's no small thing. their bond goes deep and it's extremely important because again, after camille magnus wouldn't allow people to get close to his heart, because he was scared of how they could use that against him. raphael was his first, and the only reason magnus was able to open himself up for romantic love again (which was an extra step, not because romantic love is more important or deeper, but because it's specifically the kind of love that camille used against him, and thus it makes him even more scared) was because he had already been relearning trust and platonic love with rapha

rapha did him good!!! there's a reason he calls him "sweet boy" okay. and rapha cares about him and he NOTICES WHEN HE'S IN A BAD SHAPE EVEN THROUGH ALL OF MAGNUS' WALLS and he specifically didn't want magnus involved with the camille drama even when it had obviously gotten out of hand because he wanted to keep him safe and away from her!!! i want to be shot in the face!!! they love each other so much! fuck!

and also that implies that raphael knows about camille which means he might be the first person who met magnus post-camille and heard the story, which means that he might be (and probably is) the first person who was never involved that magnus opened up about this to. if that ain't some powerful and important shit i don't know what is. because part of abuse is that you can't talk about it - there's this sense of shame and guilt both from staying and from not staying more, especially because magnus canonically still feels like he owes her... aaaaa

this answer is all over the place im sorry but my point is you are correct, camille is a textbook abuser not just a shitty ex, she fucked up his head and made him unable to open up for a long time, and the first person that helped him break those walls was raphael and they LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH AND DEEPLY thank you for your attention

#magnus bane #shadowhunters #sh #meta #magnus bane meta #camille belcourt is an abuser #long post #ask #anonymous #camille's trash party #brotp: i'll do whatever it takes to protect them